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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/5734-h.zip b/5734-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3ee0ad9 --- /dev/null +++ b/5734-h.zip diff --git a/5734-h/5734-h.htm b/5734-h/5734-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..de25ee0 --- /dev/null +++ b/5734-h/5734-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,10486 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="us-ascii"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + Life in the Grey Nunnery at Montreal, by Sarah J Richardson + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + .side { float: right; font-size: 75%; width: 25%; padding-left: 0.8em; + border-left: dashed thin; margin-left: 0.8em; text-align: left; + text-indent: 0; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; + font-weight: bold; color: black; background: #eeeeee; border: solid 1px;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Life in the Grey Nunnery at Montreal, by +Sarah J Richardson + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Life in the Grey Nunnery at Montreal + +Author: Sarah J Richardson + +Editor: Edward P. Hood + + +Release Date: May, 2004 [EBook #5734] +This file was first posted on August 18, 2002 +Last Updated: June 24, 2013 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY *** + + + + +Text file produced by Gardner Buchanan with help from Charles Franks +and Distributed Proofers + +HTML file produced by David Widger + + + + +</pre> + + <div style="height: 8em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h1> + LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY AT MONTREAL + </h1> + <h4> + An authentic narrative of the horrors, mysteries, and cruelties of convent + life by Sarah J. Richardson, an escaped nun. + </h4> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h2> + By Sarah J Richardson + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h4> + Edited by Edward P. Hood + </h4> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + <b>CONTENTS</b> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> <b>LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY.</b> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0001"> CHAPTER I. — PARENTAGE.—FATHER'S + MARRIAGE. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0002"> CHAPTER II. — THE WHITE NUNNERY. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0003"> CHAPTER III. — THE NURSERY. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0004"> CHAPTER IV. — A SLAVE FOR LIFE. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0005"> CHAPTER V. — CEREMONY OF CONFIRMATION. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0006"> CHAPTER VI. — THE GREY NUNNERY. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0007"> CHAPTER VII. — ORPHAN'S HOME. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0008"> CHAPTER VIII. — CONFESSION AND SORROW OF NO + AVAIL. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0009"> CHAPTER IX. — ALONE WITH THE DEAD. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0010"> CHAPTER X. — THE SICK NUN. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0011"> CHAPTER XI. — THE JOY OF FREEDOM. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0012"> CHAPTER XII. — STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND. + </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0013"> CHAPTER XIII. — LANDLADY'S STORY CONTINUED. + </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0014"> CHAPTER XIV. — THE TWO SISTERS. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0015"> CHAPTER XV. — CHOICE OF PUNISHMENTS. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0016"> CHAPTER XVI. — HORRORS OF STARVATION. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0017"> CHAPTER XVII. — THE TORTURE ROOM. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0018"> CHAPTER XVIII. — RETURN TO THE NUNNERY. + </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0019"> CHAPTER XIX. — SICKNESS AND DEATH OF A + SUPERIOR. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0020"> CHAPTER XX. — STUDENTS AT THE ACADEMY. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0021"> CHAPTER XXI. — SECOND ESCAPE FROM THE + NUNNERY. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0022"> CHAPTER XXII. — LONELY MIDNIGHT WALK. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0023"> CHAPTER XXIII. — FLIGHT AND RECAPTURE. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0024"> CHAPTER XXIV. — RESOLVES TO ESCAPE. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0025"> CHAPTER XXV. — EVENTFUL JOURNEY. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2HCH0026"> CHAPTER XXVI. — CONCLUSION. </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0028"> APPENDIX I. — ABSURDITIES OF ROMANISTS. + </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0029"> APPENDIX II. — CRUELTY OF ROMANISTS. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0030"> APPENDIX III. — INQUISITION OF GOA—IMPRISONMENT + OF M. DELLON, 1673. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0031"> APPENDIX IV. — INQUISITION OF GOA, + CONCLUDED. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0032"> APPENDIX V. — INQUISITION AT MACERATA, + ITALY. NARRATIVE OF MR. BOWER. METH. MAG. THIRD </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0033"> APPENDIX VI. — ROMANISM OF THE PRESENT + DAY. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0034"> APPENDIX VII. — NARRATIVE OP SIGNORINA + FLORIENCIA D' ROMANI, A NATIVE OF THE CITY OF NAPLES. </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY. + </h2> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER I. — PARENTAGE.—FATHER'S MARRIAGE. + </h2> + <p> + I was born at St. John's, New Brunswick, in the year 1835. My father was + from the city of Dublin, Ireland, where he spent his youth, and received + an education in accordance with the strictest rules of Roman Catholic + faith and practice. Early manhood, however, found him dissatisfied with + his native country, longing for other scenes and distant climes. He + therefore left Ireland, and came to Quebec. + </p> + <p> + Here he soon became acquainted with Capt. Willard, a wealthy English + gentleman, who, finding him a stranger in a strange land, kindly opened + his door, and gave him employment and a home. Little did he think that in + so doing he was warming in his bosom a viper whose poisonous fangs would, + ere long, fasten on his very heart-strings, and bring down his grey hairs + with sorrow to the grave. His only child was a lovely daughter of + fourteen. From what I have heard of her, I think she must have been very + beautiful in person, quiet, gentle and unassuming in her deportment, and + her disposition amiable and affectionate. She was exceedingly romantic, + and her mental powers were almost, if not entirely uncultivated; still, + she possessed sufficient strength of character to enable her to form a + deep, ardent, and permanent attachment. + </p> + <p> + The young stranger gazed upon her with admiring eyes, and soon began to + whisper in her ear the flattering tale of love. This, of course, her + parents could not approve. What! give their darling to a stranger? Never, + no, never. What could they do without her? Grieved that their kindness + should have been thus returned, they bade him go his way, and leave their + child in peace. He did go, but like a thief he returned. In the darkness + of midnight he stole to her chamber, and bore away from the home of her + childhood, "a father's joy, a mother's pride." + </p> + <p> + Who can tell the anguish of their souls when they entered that deserted + chamber? How desolate their lonely hearthstone! How dark the home where + her presence had scattered rainbow hues! A terrible blow it was to Capt. + Willard; a very bitter thing thus to have his cherished plans frustrated, + his brightest hopes destroyed; to see the very sun of his existence go + down at midday in clouds and darkness. Yes, to the stern father this sad + event brought bitter, bitter grief. But to the mother—that tender, + affectionate mother, it was death. Yea, more than death, for reason, at + the first shock, reeled and tottered on its throne; then, as days and + weeks passed by, and still the loved one did not return, when every effort + to find her had been made in vain, then, the dread certainty settled down + upon her soul that her child was lost to her forever. Hope, gave place to + despair, and she became, from that time, a raving maniac. At length death + came to her relief, and her husband was left alone. + </p> + <p> + Six weary years passed over the lonely man, and then he rejoiced in the + intelligence that his child was still living with her husband at St. + John's. He immediately wrote to her imploring her to return to her old + home, and with the light of her presence dispel the gloom of his dwelling. + Accordingly she left St. John's, and in company with her husband returned + to her father. I was then about a year and a half old, but I have so often + heard these facts related by my father and grandfather, they are indelibly + impressed on my mind, and will never be erased from my memory. + </p> + <p> + My mother now thought her trouble at an end, that in future she should + enjoy the happiness she once anticipated. But, alas for all human + prospects! Ere one short month had passed, difficulties arose in + consequence of the difference in their religious opinions. Capt. Willard + was a firm Protestant, while my father was quite as firm in his belief of + the principles of the Roman Catholics. "Can two walk together except they + be agreed?" They parted in anger, and my father again became a wanderer, + leaving his wife and child with his father-in-law. But my mother was a + faithful, devoted wife. Her husband was her heart's chosen idol whom she + loved too well to think of being separated from. She therefore left her + father's house, with all its luxuries and enjoyments, to follow the + fortunes of one, who was certainly unworthy of the pure affection thus + lavished upon him. As her health had been delicate for the last two years, + she concluded to leave me with her father for a short time, intending to + send for me, as soon as she was in a situation to take care of me. But + this was not to be. Death called her away, and I saw my mother no more + till her corpse was brought back, and buried in her father's garden. + </p> + <p> + Two years I remained with my grandfather, and from him, I received the + most affectionate and devoted attention. My father at length opened a + saloon, for the sale of porter, and hired a black woman to do his work. He + then came for me. My grandfather entreated that I might be allowed to + remain. Well he knew that my father was not the man to be entrusted with + the care of a child—that a Porter House was no place for me, for he + was quite sure that stronger liquors than porter were there drank and + sold. In fact, it was said, that my father was himself a living evidence + of this. But it is of a parent I am speaking, and, whatever failings the + world may have seen in him, to me he was a kind and tender father. The + years I spent with him were the happiest of my life. On memory's page they + stand out in bold relief, strikingly contrasting with the wretchedness of + my after life. And though I cannot forget that his own rash act brought + this wretchedness upon me, still, I believe his motives were good. I know + that he loved me, and every remembrance of his kindness, and those few + bright days of childhood, I have carefully cherished as a sacred thing. He + did not, however, succeed in the business he had undertaken, but lost his + property and was at length compelled to give up his saloon. + </p> + <p> + I was then placed in a Roman Catholic family, where he often visited, and + ever appeared to feel for me the most devoted attachment. One day he came + to see me in a state of partial intoxication. I did not then know why his + face was so red, and his breath so offensive, but I now know that he was + under the influence of ardent spirits. The woman with whom I boarded + seeing his condition, and being a good Catholic, resolved to make the most + of the occasion for the benefit of the nunnery. She therefore said to him, + "You are not capable of bringing up that child; why don't you give her to + Priest Dow?"—"Will he take her?" asked my father. "Yes," she + replied, "he will put her into the nunnery, and the nuns will take better + care of her than you can." "On what condition will they take her?" he + asked. "Give the priest one hundred dollars," replied the artful woman, + "and he will take good care of her as long as she lives." + </p> + <p> + This seemed a very plausible story; but I am sure my father did not + realize what he was doing. Had he waited for a little reflection, he would + never have consented to such an arrangement, and my fate would have been + quite different. But as it was, he immediately sent for the priest, and + gave me to him, to be provided for, as his own child, until I was of age. + I was then to be allowed to go out into the world if I chose. To this, + Priest Dow consented, in consideration of one hundred dollars, which he + received, together with a good bed and bedding. My mother's gold ear-rings + were also entrusted to his care, until I should be old enough to wear + them. But I never saw them again. Though I was at that time but six years + old, I remember perfectly, all that passed upon that memorable occasion. I + did not then comprehend the full meaning of what was said, but I + understood enough to fill my heart with sorrow and apprehension. + </p> + <p> + When their bargain was completed, Priest Dow called me to him, saying, + with a smile, "You are a stubborn little girl, I guess, a little naughty, + sometimes, are you not?" Surprised and alarmed, I replied, "No, sir." He + then took hold of my hair, which was rather short, drew it back from my + forehead with a force that brought the tears to my eyes, and pressing his + hand heavily on my head, he again asked if I was not sometimes a little + wilful and disobedient. I was so much frightened at this, I turned to my + father, and with tears and sobs entreated him not to send me away with + that man, but allow me to stay at home with him. He drew me to his bosom, + wiped away my tears, and sought to quiet my fears by assuring me that I + would have a good and pleasant home; that the nuns would take better care + of me than he could; and that he would often come to see me. Thus, by the + aid of flattery on one side, and sugarplums on the other, they persuaded + me at last to accompany the priest to the White Nunnery, St. Paul's + street, Quebec. + </p> + <p> + I was too young to realize the sad change in my situation, or to + anticipate the trials and privations that awaited me. But I was deeply + grieved thus to leave my father, my only real friend, my mother being + dead, and my grandfather a heretic, whom I had been taught to regard with + the utmost abhorrence. Little, however, did I think that this was a last + farewell. But such it was. Though he had promised to come often to see me, + I never saw my father again; never even heard from him; and now, I do not + know whether he is dead or alive. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER II. — THE WHITE NUNNERY. + </h2> + <p> + On my arrival at the nunnery, I was placed under the care of a lady whom + they called a Superior. She took me into a room alone, and told me that + the priest would come to me in the morning to hear confession, and I must + confess to him all my sins. "What are sins?" I asked, and, "How shall I + confess? I don't know what it means." "Don't know what sins are!" she + exclaimed in great astonishment "Why, child, I am surprised that you + should be so ignorant! Where have you lived all your days?" With all the + simplicity of childhood, I replied, "With my father; and once I lived with + my grandfather; but they didn't tell me how to confess." "Well," said she, + "you must tell the priest all your wicked thoughts, words, and actions." + "What is wicked?" I innocently asked. "If you have ever told an untruth;" + she replied, "or taken what did not belong to you, or been in any way + naughty, disobedient, or unkind; if you have been angry, or quarrelled + with your playmates, that was wicked, and you must tell the priest all + about it If you try to conceal, or keep back anything, the priest will + know it and punish you. You cannot deceive him if you try, for he knows + all you do, or say, or even think; and if you attempt it, you'll only get + yourself into trouble. But if you are resolved to be a good girl, kind, + gentle, frank, sincere, and obedient, the priest will love you, and be + kind to you." + </p> + <p> + When I was conducted to my room, at bedtime, I rejoiced to find in it + several little cot beds, occupied by little girls about my own age, who + had been, like myself, consigned to the tender mercies of priests and + nuns. I thought if we must live in that great gloomy house, which even to + my childish imagination seemed so much like a prison, we could in some + degree dispel our loneliness and mitigate our sorrows, by companionship + and sympathy. But I was soon made to know that even this small comfort + would not be allowed us, for the Superior, as she assisted me to bed, told + me that I must not speak, or groan, or turn upon my side, or move in any + way; for if I made the least noise or disturbance, I would be severely + punished. She assured me that if we disobeyed in the least particular, she + would know it, even if she was not present, and deal with us accordingly. + She said that when the clock struck twelve, the bell would ring for + prayers; that we must then rise, and kneel with our heads bowed upon the + bed, and repeat the prayer she taught us. When, at length, she left us, + locking the door after her, I was so frightened, I did not dare to sleep, + lest I should move, or fail to awake at the proper time. + </p> + <p> + Slowly passed the hours of that long and weary night, while I lay, waiting + the ringing of the bell, or thinking upon the past with deep regret. The + most fearful visions haunted my brain, and fears of future punishment + filled my mind. How could I hope to escape it, when they were so very + strict, and able to read my most secret thoughts? What would I not have + given could I have been again restored to my father? True he was + intemperate, but at that time I thought not of this; I only knew that he + was always kind to me, that he never refused what I asked of him. I + sometimes think, even now, that if he had not so cruelly thrust me from + him, I might have been able to win him from his cups and evil course of + life. But this was not to be. Having given himself up to the demon of + intemperance, it is not surprising that he should have given away his only + child; that he should have placed her in the hands of those who proved + utterly unworthy of the trust. But however indignant I may at times have + felt towards him, for the one great wrong he committed against me, still I + do not believe he would ever have done it but for the influence of ardent + spirits. Moreover, I do not suppose that he had the least idea what kind + of a place it was. He wished, doubtless, that his child might be well + educated; that she might be shielded from the many trials and temptations + that cluster around the footsteps of the young and inexperienced, in the + midst of a cold and heartless world. From these evils the nunnery, he + thought, would be a secure retreat, for there science, religion, and + philanthropy, PROFESSEDLY, go hand in hand. Like many other deluded + parents, he thought that "Holiness to the Lord" was inscribed upon those + walls, and that nothing which could pervert or defile the youthful mind, + was permitted to enter there. With these views and feelings, he was + undoubtedly sincere when he told me, "I would have a good home, and the + nuns would take better care of me than he could." Rash his decision + certainly was, cruel it proved to be; but I shall ever give him credit for + good intentions. + </p> + <p> + At length the bell rang, and all the girls immediately left their beds, + and placed themselves upon their knees. I followed their example, but I + had scarcely time to kneel by my bed, when the Superior came into the room + with a light in her hand, and attended by a priest. He came to me, opened + a book, and told me to cross myself. This ceremony he instructed me to + perform in the following manner: the right hand is placed upon the + forehead, and drawn down to the breast; then across the breast from left + to right. The Superior then told me to say the prayer called "Hail Mary!" + I attempted to do so, but failed, for, though I had often repeated it + after my father, I could not say it correctly alone. She then bade me join + my hands, and repeat it after her. "Hail Mary! Full of grace! The Lord be + with thee! Blessed art thou among women! Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, + Jesus! Mother of God! Pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our + death, Amen." + </p> + <p> + "Now," said the Superior, as I rose from my knees, "you must learn every + word of that prayer before to-morrow night, or go without your supper." I + tried my best to remember it, but with so little instruction, for she + repeated it to me but once, I found it quite impossible the next night to + say it correctly. Of course, I was compelled to go without my supper. This + may seem a light punishment to those who have enough to eat—who sit + down to a full table, and satisfy their appetite three times per day, but + to a nun, who is allowed only enough to sustain life, it is quite a + different thing. And especially to a child, this mode of punishment is + more severe, and harder to bear than almost any other. I thought I would + take good care not to be punished in that way again; but I little knew + what was before me. + </p> + <p> + Before the Superior left us she assisted me into bed, and bade me be very + still until the second bell in the morning. Then, I must rise and dress as + quickly as possible, and go to her room. Quietness, she enjoined upon me + as a virtue, while the least noise, or disturbance of any kind, would be + punished as a crime. She said I must walk very softly indeed along the + halls, and close the doors so carefully that not a sound could be heard. + After giving me these first instructions in convent life, she left me, and + I was allowed to sleep the rest of the night. + </p> + <p> + The next morning, I awoke at the ringing of the first bell, but I did not + dare to stir until the second bell, when the other little girls arose in + great haste. I then dressed as quickly as possible, but not a word was + spoken—not a thought, and scarcely a look exchanged. I was truly + "alone amid a crowd," and I felt the utter loneliness of my situation most + keenly. Yet I saw very clearly that there was but one course for me to + pursue, and that was, to obey in all things; to have no will of my own, + and thus, if possible, escape punishment. But it was hard, very hard for + me to bring my mind to this. I had been the idolized child of affection + too long to submit readily and patiently to the privations I was now + forced to endure. Hitherto my will had been law. I had naturally an + imperious, violent temper, which I had never been taught to govern. + Instead of this, my appetites were pampered, my passions indulged, and + every desire gratified as far as possible. Until that last sad parting, I + hardly knew what it was to have a request refused; and now, to experience + such a change—such a sudden transition from the most liberal + indulgence to the most cruel and rigorous self-denial—Oh, it was a + severe trial to my independent spirit to submit to it. Yet, submit I must, + for I had learned, even then, that my newly appointed guardians were not + to be trifled with. Henceforth, OBEDIENCE must be my motto. To every + command, however cruel and unjust, I must yield a blind, passive, and + unquestioning obedience. + </p> + <p> + I dressed as quickly as possible, and hastened down to the Superior. As I + passed through the hall, I thought I would be very careful to step softly, + but in my haste I forgot what she said about closing the door, and it came + together with a loud crash. On entering the room, I found the Superior + waiting for me; in her hand she held a stick about a foot long, to the end + of which was attached nine leather strings, some twelve or fifteen inches + long, and about the size of a man's little finger. She bade me come to + her, in a voice so cold and stern it sent a thrill of terror through my + frame, and I trembled with the apprehension of some impending evil. I had + no idea that she was about to punish me, for I was not aware that I had + done anything to deserve it; but her looks frightened me, and I feared,—I + know not what. She took hold of my arm, and without saying a word, gave me + ten or twelve strokes over the head and shoulders with this miniature + cat-o'-nine-tails. Truly, with her, it was "a word and a blow, and the + blow came first." Wherever the strings chanced to fall upon the bare + flesh, they raised the skin, as though a hot iron had been applied to it. + In some places they took off the skin entirely, and left the flesh raw, + and quivering with the stinging pain. I could not think at first what I + had done to deserve this severe punishment, nor did she condescend to + enlighten me. But when I began to cry, and beg to go to my father, she + sternly bade me stop crying at once, for I could not go to my father. I + must stay there, she said, and learn to remember all her commands and obey + then. She then taught me the following verse: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + I am a little nun, + The sisters I will mind; + When I am pretty and learn, + Then they will use me kind. + I must not be so noisy + When I go about the house, + I'll close the doors so softly + They'll think I am a mouse. +</pre> + <p> + This verse I repeated until I could say it correctly. I was then taken to + the breakfast-room, where I was directed to kneel before the crucifix, and + say my prayers, which I repeated after the Superior. I was then seated at + the table, and directed to hold my head down, and fix my eyes upon my + plate. I must not look at any one, or gaze about the room; but sit still, + and quietly eat what was given me. I had upon my plate, one thin slice of + wheat bread, a bit of potato, and a very small cup of milk. This was my + stated allowance, and I could have no more, however hungry I might be. The + same quantity was given me every meal, when in usual health, until I was + ten years of age. On fast days, no food whatever was allowed; and we + always fasted for three meals before receiving the sacrament. This + ceremony was observed every third day, therefore we were obliged to fast + about one-third of the time. Yet, however long the fast might be, my + allowance of food was never increased. + </p> + <p> + After breakfast the Superior took me to Priest Dow for confession. He kept + me with him all day, allowing me neither food nor drink; nor did he permit + me to break my fast until four o'clock the next day. I then received what + they call the sacrament, for the first time. + </p> + <p> + To prepare for this, I was clad in a white dress and cape, and a white cap + on my head. I was then led to the chapel, and passing up the aisle, knelt + before the altar. Priest Dow then came and stood before me, and taking + from a wine-glass a small thin wafer, he placed it upon my tongue, at the + same time repeating some Latin words, which, the Superior afterwards told + me, mean in English, "The body and blood of Christ." I was taught to + believe that I held in my mouth the real body and blood of Christ. I was + also told that if I swallowed the wafer before it had melted on my tongue, + IT WOULD CHOKE ME TO DEATH; and if I indulged an evil thought while I held + it in my mouth I SHOULD FALL INTO A POOL OF BLOOD. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER III. — THE NURSERY. + </h2> + <p> + While in the White Nunnery, I spent the most of my time in the nursery. + But the name gives one no idea of the place. The freedom and careless + gayety, so characteristic of other nurseries, had no place in this. No + cheerful conversation, no juvenile merriment, or pleasureable excitement + of any kind, were ever allowed. A merry laugh, on the contrary, a witty + jest, or a sly practical joke, would have been punished as the most + heinous offence. Here as elsewhere in the establishment, the strictest + rules of silence and obedience were rigidly enforced. There were twenty + little girls in the room with me, but we were never permitted to speak to + each other, nor to any one except a priest or a Superior. When directly + addressed by either of them we were allowed to answer; but we might never + ask a question, or make a remark, or in any way, either by looks, words, + or signs, hold communication with each other. Whenever we did so, it was + at the risk of being discovered and severely punished. Yet this did not + repress the desire for conversation; it only made us more cautious, + artful, and deceptive. The only recreation allowed us was fifteen minutes' + exercise in the yard every morning and evening. We might then amuse + ourselves as we chose, but were required to spend the whole time in some + kind of active exercise; if one of our number ventured to sit still, we + were all punished the next day by being kept in the house. + </p> + <p> + It was my business, while in the nursery, to dust all the furniture and + the floor, with a flannel mop, made and kept for this purpose. The floors + were all painted and varnished, and very easily kept clean. + </p> + <p> + Two hours and a half each day we spent with a priest, whom we were taught + to call Father Darity (I do not know as I spell this and other names + correctly, but I give it to the reader as it sounded to my ear). He + appeared to take great pleasure in learning us to repeat the prayers and + catechism required by Priest Dow. He also gave us a variety of + instructions in other things, enjoining in particular the most absolute + obedience and perfect silence. He assured us that if we dared to disobey + him in the least particular, he should know it, even if he was not present + with us at the time. He said he knew all our thoughts, words, and actions; + and if we did not obey, he should "EAT US WITH A GRAIN OF SALT." + </p> + <p> + I presume my reader will smile at this, and exclaim, "How absurd!" Yes, to + you it is absurd; but to the mind of a child who placed the utmost + confidence in his veracity, it was an evidence that he was invested with + supernatural powers. For myself I believed every word he said, and nothing + would have tempted me to disobey him. Perfect obedience he considered the + highest attainment, and, to secure this, the greatest of all virtues, no + means were thought too severe. We were frightened and punished in every + possible way. + </p> + <p> + But, though Father Darity acted on the one great principle with the + Romanists, that the "end sanctifies the means," he was in general a much + kinder man than Priest Dow. He urged us on with our catechism as fast as + possible, telling us, as a motive to greater diligence, that the bishop + was soon to visit us, and that we could not be admitted to his presence + until we had our prayers and catechism perfectly. + </p> + <p> + One day, when we were in the yard at play, I told one of the little girls + that I did not like to live there; that I did not like one of the people + in the house; that I wished to return to my father, and I should tell him + so the first time he came to see me. + </p> + <p> + "Then you like to live with your father?" said she. I told her I did, for + then I could do as I pleased, without the fear of punishment. She said + that she did not like to live there any better than I did. I asked her why + she did not go away, if she disliked to stay. She replied, "I should like + to go away well enough, if I had any friends to go to; but my father and + mother are both dead, and I have no home but this; so you see I must stay + here if they wish me to; but there is one consolation; if we are good + girls, and try to do right, they will be kind to us." I made no further + remark; but the moment we returned to the house she told the Superior what + I said, taking good care not to repeat her own expressions, and leaving + the Superior to infer that she had made no reply. + </p> + <p> + I saw at once by the stern look that came over the lady's face that she + was very angry; and I would gladly have recalled those few hasty words had + it been in my power to have done so. She immediately left the room, but + soon returned with Priest Dow. His countenance also indicated anger, as he + took hold of my arm and led me to a darkened room, in which several + candles were burning. + </p> + <p> + Here I saw three scenes, which I think must have been composed of images, + pictures, and curtains. I do not pretend to describe them correctly, I can + only tell how they appeared to me. + </p> + <p> + The first was an image of Christ on the cross, with his arms extended as + we usually see them in pictures. On his right hand was a representation of + heaven, and on the left, of hell. Heaven was made to appear like a bright, + beautiful, and glorious place. A wall of pink color surrounded it, and in + the center was a spring of clear water. In the midst of this spring stood + a tree, bearing on every limb a lighted candle, and on the top, the image + of Christ and a dove. + </p> + <p> + Hell was surrounded by a black wall, within which, there was also a + spring; but the water was very black, and beside it stood a large black + image, with horns on its head, a long tail, and a large cloven foot. The + place where it stood was in deep shadow, made to resemble, as neatly as + possible, clouds and darkness. The priest led me up to this fearful + object, and placed me on one side of it, while he stood on the other; but + it would turn away from him towards me, roll up its great eyes, open its + mouth and show its long white tusks. The priest said it turned from him, + because he was a good man, and I was very wicked. He said that it was the + devil, come up from the bottomless pit to devour me; and if I said such + wicked words again, it would carry me off. I was very much frightened, for + I then thought that all he said was true; that those images, which I now + know were strung on wires were really what they were made to represent. + </p> + <p> + In fact, until I was fifteen years old, I really believed that the image I + then saw was an evil spirit. But since that time, I have been made to know + that the priests themselves are the only evil spirits about the place. + </p> + <p> + Priest Dow then led me back to the nursery, and left me with the Superior. + But he soon came, back, saying he "knew what I was thinking about; that I + had wicked thoughts about him; thought he was a bad man, and that I wished + to leave him and go to my father;" Now this was all true, and the fact + that he knew it, frightened me accordingly. It was a sure proof that what + Father Darity said was true. But how could I ever be safe, if they could + thus read the inmost secrets of my soul? I did dislike them all very much + indeed and I could not help it. How then could I avert the consequences of + this deep aversion to convent life, since it could not be concealed? Was + it possible for me so far to conquer myself, as to love the persons with + whom I lived? How many nights did I lie awake pondering this question, and + resolving to make the effort. I was, of course, too young to know that it + was only by shrewd guessing, and a general knowledge of human nature, that + he was enabled to tell my thoughts so correctly. + </p> + <p> + "Now," said he, "for indulging these dreadful thoughts, I shall take you + back to the devil, and give you up to him." I was frightened before; but I + have no words to describe my feelings when he again led me back, and left + me beside the image, saying, as he closed the door, "If the devil groans + three times, and the Lord does not speak, you must stay here until + to-morrow at this time." I trembled so that I could hardly stand, and + when, after a few moments, a sound like a groan fell upon my ears, I + shrieked in the extremity of terror. + </p> + <p> + [Footnote: Cioui, formerly a Benedictine Monk, giving an account of his + imprisonment at Rome, after his conversion says:— + </p> + <p> + "One evening, after listening to a discourse filled with dark images of + death, I returned to my room, and found the light set upon the ground. I + took it up and approached the table to place it there, but what was my + horror and consternation at beholding spread out upon it, a whitened + skeleton! Before the reader can comprehend my dismay, it is necessary he + should reflect for a moment on the peculiarities of childhood, especially + in a Romish country, where children are seldom spoken to except in + superstitious language, whether by their parents or teachers: and + domestics adopt the same style to answer their own purposes, menacing + their disobedient charges with hobgoblins, phantoms and witches. Such + images as these make a profound impression on tender minds, leaving a + panic terror which the reasoning of after years is often unable entirely + to efface. There can be no doubt but that this pernicious habit, is the + fruit of the noxious plant fostered in the Vatican. Rising generations + must be brought up in superstitious terror, in order to render them + susceptible to every kind of absurdity; for this terror is the powerful + spring, employed by the priests and friars, to move at their pleasure + families, cities, provinces, nations. Although in families of the higher + order, this method of alarming infancy is much discountenanced, + nevertheless, it is impossible but that it should in some degree prevail + in the nursery. Nor was it probable that I should escape this infections + malady, having passed my whole days in an atmosphere, charged more than + any other with that impure miasma priest-craft."] + </p> + <p> + Then immediately I heard the question, and it seemed to come from the + figure of Christ, "Will you obey? Will you leave off sin?" I answered in + the affirmative as well as I could, for the convulsive sobs that shook my + frame almost stopped my utterance. I now know that when the priest left + me, he placed himself, or an assistant, behind a curtain close to the + images, and it was his voice that I heard. But I was then too young to + detect their treacherous practices and deceitful ways. + </p> + <p> + On being taken back to the Superior, I was immediately attacked with + severe illness, and had fits all night. It seemed to me that I could see + that image of the devil everywhere. If I closed my eyes, I thought I could + feel him on my bed, pressing on my breast, and he was so heavy I could + scarcely breathe. I was very sick, and suffered much bodily pain, but the + tortures of an excited imagination were greater by far, and harder to bear + than any physical suffering. For long years after, that image haunted my + dreams, and even now I often, in sleep, live over again the terrors of + that fearful scene. I was sick a long time; how long I do not know; but I + became so weak I could not raise myself in bed, and they had an apparatus + affixed to the wall to raise me with. For several days I took no + nourishment, except a teaspoonful of brandy and water which was given me + as often as I could take it I continued to have fits every day for more + than two years, nor did I ever entirely recover from the effects of that + fright. Even now, though years have passed away, a little excitement or a + sudden shock, will sometimes throw me into one of those fits. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IV. — A SLAVE FOR LIFE. + </h2> + <p> + During this illness I was placed under the care of an Abbess whom they + called St. Bridget. There were many other Abbesses in the convent, but she + was the principal one, and had the care of all the clothing. If the others + wished for clean clothes, they were obliged to go to her for them. In that + way I saw them all, but did not learn their names. They approached me and + looked at me, but seldom spoke. This I thought very strange, but I now + know they dared not speak. One day an Abbess came to my bed, and after + standing a few moments with the tears silently flowing down her cheeks, + asked me if I had a mother. I told her I had not, and I began to weep most + bitterly. I was very weak, and the question recalled to my mind the time + when I shared a father's love, and enjoyed my liberty. Then, I could go + and come as I chose, but now, a slave for life, I could have no will of my + own, I must go at bidding, and come at command. This, I am well aware, may + seem to some extravagant language; but I use the right word. I was, + literally, a slave; and of all kinds of slavery, that which exists in a + convent is the worst. I say, THE WORST, because the story of wrong and + outrage which occasionally finds its way to the public ear, is not + generally believed. You pity the poor black man who bends beneath the + scourge of southern bondage, for the tale comes to you from those who have + seen his tears and heard his groans. But you have no tears, no prayers, no + efforts for the poor helpless nun who toils and dies beneath the heartless + cruelty of an equally oppressive task-master. No; for her you have no + sympathy, for you do not believe her word. Within those precincts of + cruelty, no visitor is ever admitted. No curious eye may witness the + secrets of their prison-house. Consequently, there is no one to bear + direct testimony to the truth of her statements. Even now, methinks, I see + your haughty brow contract, and your lip curl with scorn, as with supreme + contempt you throw down these pages and exclaim, "'Tis all a fiction. Just + got up to make money. No proof that it is true." No proof do you say? O, + that the strong arm of the law would interpose in our behalf!—that + some American Napoleon would come forth, and break open those prison + doors, and drag forth to the light of day those hidden instruments of + torture! There would then be proof enough to satisfy the most incredulous, + that, so far from being exaggerated, the half has not been told. Sons of + America! Will you not arise in your might, and demand that these convent + doors be opened, and "the oppressed" allowed to "go free"? Or if this be + denied, sweep from the fair earth, the black-hearted wretches who dare, in + the very face of heaven, to commit such fearful outrages upon helpless, + suffering humanity? How long—O how long will you suffer these dens + of iniquity to remain unopened? How long permit this system of priestly + cruelty to continue? + </p> + <p> + But I am wandering from my story. Would that I might forever wander from + it—that I might at once blot from memory's page, the fearful + recollection that must follow me to my grave! Yet, painful as it is to + rehearse the past, if I can but awaken your sympathy for other sufferers, + if I can but excite you to efforts for their deliverance, it is all I ask. + I shall have my reward. But to return to my story. + </p> + <p> + The Abbess saw how deeply I was grieved, and immediately left the room. + St. Bridget told me not to cry, for she would be a mother to me as long as + I remained with her, and she was true to her promise. Another sister, who + sometimes came to my room, I believe was crazy. She would run up to my + bed, put her hand on me, and burst into a loud and hearty laugh. This she + repeated as often as she came, and I told the Abbess one day, I did wish + that sister would not come to see me, for she acted so strange, I was + afraid of her. She replied, "do not care for her; she always does just so, + but we do not mind her; you must be careful what you say," she continued, + "for if you speak of her before any of the sisters, they may get you into + trouble." + </p> + <p> + When I began to get better, I had a sharp appetite for food, and was + hungry a great part of the time. One of the sisters used to bring me a + piece of bread concealed under her cape and hide it under my pillow. How + she obtained it, I do not know, unless she saved it from her own + allowance. It was very easy for her to hide it in this way, for the nuns + always walk with one hand under their cape and the other by the side. + Truly, in this instance, "bread eaten in secret" was "pleasant." Of all + the luxuries I ever tasted, those stolen bits of bread were the sweetest. + </p> + <p> + During my illness I thought a great deal about my father, and wondered why + he did not come to see me, as he had promised. I used to cry for him in my + sleep, and very often awoke in tears. St. Bridget sought in every possible + way to make me forget him, and the priest would tell me that I need not + think so much about him, for he no longer cared for me. He said the devil + had got him, and I would never see him again. These cruel words, so far + from making me forget, served to awaken a still greater desire to see him, + and increased my grief because I was denied the privilege. + </p> + <p> + In the room with me, were six other little girls, who were all sick at the + same time, and St. Bridget took care of us all For two of the little + girls, I felt the greatest sympathy. They were quite young, I think not + more than three years of age, and they grieved continually. They made no + complaint, did not even shed a tear, but they sobbed all the time, whether + asleep or awake. Of their history, I could learn nothing at that time, + except the fact, that they were taken from their parents for the good of + their souls. I afterwards overheard a conversation that led me to think + that they were heirs to a large property, which, if they were out of the + way, would go to the church. But it is of what I know, and not what I + think, that I have undertaken to write, and I do know that the fate of + those little girls was hard in the extreme, whatever might have been the + cause of their being there. Poor little creatures! No wonder their hearts + were broken. Torn from parents and friends while yet in early childhood—doomed + while life is spared, to be subject to the will of those who know no mercy—who + feel no pity, but consider it a religious duty to crush, and destroy all + the pure affections—all the exquisite sensibilities of the human + soul. Yet to them these hapless babes must look for all the earthly + happiness they could hope to enjoy. They were taught to obey them in all + things, and consider them their only friends and protectors. I never saw + them after I left that room, but they did not live long. I was glad they + did not, for in the cold grave their sufferings would be over and they + would rest in peace. + </p> + <p> + O, how little do Protestants know the sufferings of a nun! and truly no + one can know them except by personal experience. One may imagine the most + aggravated form of cruelty, the most heart-rending agonies, yet I do + believe the conception of the most active imagination would fall far short + of the horrible reality. I do not believe there was one happy individual + in that convent, or that any one there, if I except the lady Superior, + knew anything of enjoyment. Life with them was a continual round of + ceaseless toil and bitter self-denial; while each one had some secret + grief slowly but surely gnawing away the heart-strings. I have sometimes + seen the Abbess sitting by the bedside of the sick, with her eyes closed, + while the big tears fell unchecked over her pale cheeks. When I asked her + why she wept, she would shake her head, but never speak. I now know that + she dare not speak for fear of punishment. + </p> + <p> + The abbesses in the various parts of this convent are punished as much as + the nuns, if they dare to disobey the rules of the priests; and if the + least of these are broken in the presence of any one in the house, they + will surely tell of it at confession. In fact, they are required to do + this; and if it is known that one has seen a rule broken, or a command + disobeyed, without reporting it, a severe punishment is sure to follow. + Thus every individual is a spy upon the rest; and while every failure is + visited with condign punishment, the one who makes the most reports is so + warmly approved, that poor human nature can hardly resist the temptation + to play the traitor. Friendship cannot exist within the walls of a + convent, for no one can be trusted, even with the most trifling secret. + Whoever ventures to try it is sure to be betrayed. + </p> + <p> + While I was sick Father Darity came often to see me, and by his kindness + succeeded in gaining my affections. I was a great favorite with him; he + always called me his little girl, and tried in every way to make me + contented. He wished to make me say that I was happy there, that I liked + to live with them as well as with my father. But I could never be + persuaded to say this, for it was not the truth, and I would not tell a + falsehood unless forced to do so. He said I must be a good girl, and he + hoped I would sometime see better times, but I could never see my father + again, and I must not desire it. He advised me, however hard it might be, + to try and love all who came into the nunnery, even those who were unkind, + who wished to injure me or wound my feelings. He told me how Jesus Christ + loved his enemies; how he died for them a cruel death on the cross; how, + amid his bitter agonies, he prayed for them, and with his expiring breath + he cried, "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do." "And now," + said he, "can you do as Jesus Christ did? He has set you an example, can + you not follow it?" "No, sir," I replied, "I cannot love those who punish + me so cruelly, so unjustly. I cannot love the little girl who reported + what I said in the yard, when she said as bad things as I did." "But you + forget," said he, "that in doing this she only obeyed the rules of the + house. She only did her duty; if you had done yours, you would have + reported her." "I'll never do that," I exclaimed, emboldened by his + kindness. "It is a bad rule, and—" "Hush, hush, child!" he cried, + interrupting me. "Do you know to whom you are speaking? and do you forget + that you are a little girl? Are you wiser than your teachers? I must give + you a penance for those naughty words, and you will pray for a better + spirit." He said much more to me, and gave me good advice that I remember + much better than I followed. He enjoined if upon me to keep up good + courage, as I would gain my health faster. He then bade me farewell, + telling me not to forget, to repeat certain prayers as a penance for my + sin in speaking so boldly. O, did he think when he talked to me so kindly, + so faithfully, that it was his last opportunity to give me good advice? + Did he know that he left me to return no more? I saw nothing unusual in + his appearance, and I did not suspect that it was the last time I should + see his pleasant face and listen to his kindly voice. I loved that man, + and bitter were the tears I shed when I learned that I should never see + him again. The Abbess informed me that he was sent away for something he + had done, she did not know what. O that something! I knew well enough what + it was. He had a kind heart; he could feel for the unfortunate, and that, + with the Roman Catholics, is an "unpardonable sin." + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER V. — CEREMONY OF CONFIRMATION. + </h2> + <p> + I continued to regain my health slowly, and the Abbess said they would + soon send me back to the nursery. I could not endure the thought of this, + for I had the greatest fear of the Abbess who had the charge of that + department. She was very cruel, while St. Bridget was as kind as she dare + to be. She knew full well that if she allowed herself to exhibit the least + feeling of affection for those children, she would be instantly removed, + and some one placed over them who would not give way to such weakness. We + all saw how it was, and loved her all the more for the severity of her + reproofs when any one was near. With tears, therefore, I begged to be + allowed to stay with her; and when the priest came for me, she told him + that she thought I had better remain with her till I gained a little more + strength. + </p> + <p> + To this he consented, and I was very grateful indeed for the kindness. + Wishing in some way to express my gratitude, as soon as I was able I + assisted in taking care of the other little girls as much as possible. St. + Bridget, in turn, taught me to read a little, so that I could learn my + prayers when away from her. She also gave me a few easy lessons in + arithmetic, and instructed me to speak the Celt language. She always spoke + in that, or the French, which I could speak before, having learned it from + the family where I lived after my father gave up his saloon. They were + French Catholics and spoke no other language. + </p> + <p> + As soon as I was sufficiently recovered to leave my room, I was taken to + the chapel to be confirmed. Before they came for me, the abbess told me + what questions would be asked, and the answers I should be required to + give. She said they would ask me if I wished to see my father; if I should + like to go back to the world, etc. To these and similar questions she said + I must give a negative answer. "But," said I, "that will be a falsehood, + and I will not say so for any of them." "Hush, hush, child!" she + exclaimed, with a frightened look. "You must not talk so. From my heart I + pity you; but it will be better for you to answer as I tell you, for if + you refuse they will punish you till you do. Remember," she added, + emphatically, "remember what I say: it will be better for you to do as I + tell you." And she made me promise that I would. "But why do they wish me + to tell a lie?" I asked. "They do not wish you to tell a lie," she + replied; "they wish you to do right, and feel right; to be contented and + willing to forget the world." "But I do not wish to forget the world," I + said. "I am not contented, and saying that I am will not make me feel so. + Is it right to tell a lie?" "It is right for you to obey," she replied, + with more severity in her tone than I ever heard before. "Do you know," + she continued, "that it is a great sin for you to talk so?" "A sin!" I + exclaimed, in astonishment; "why is it a sin?" "Because," she replied, + "you have no right to inquire why a command is given. Whatever the church + commands, we must obey, and that, too, without question or complaint. If + we are not willing to do this, it is the duty of the Bishop and the + priests to punish us until we are willing. All who enter a convent + renounce forever their own will." "But I didn't come here myself," said I; + "my father put me here to stay a few years. When I am eighteen I shall go + out again." "That does not make any difference," she replied. "You are + here, and your duty is obedience. But my dear," she continued, "I advise + you never again to speak of going out, for it can never be. By indulging + such hopes you are preparing yourself for a great disappointment. By + speaking of it, you will, I assure you, get yourself into trouble. You may + not find others so indulgent as I am; therefore, for your own sake, I hope + you will relinquish all idea of ever leaving the convent, and try to be + contented." Such was the kind of instruction I received at the White + Nunnery. I did not feel as much disappointed at the information that I was + never to go into the world again as she had expected. I had felt for a + long time, almost, indeed, from my first entrance, that such would be my + fate, and though deeply grieved, I was able to control my feelings. + </p> + <p> + The great day at length came for which the Abbess had been so long + preparing me. I say great, for in our monotonous life, the smallest + circumstance seemed important. Moreover, I was assured that my future + happiness depended very much upon the answers, I that day gave to the + various questions put to me. When about to be taken to the chapel, St. + Bridget begged the priest to be careful and not frighten me, lest it + should bring on my fits again. I was led into the chapel and made to kneel + before the altar. The bishop and five priests were present, and also, a + man whom I had never seen before, but I was told he was the Pope's Nuncio, + and that he came a long way to visit them. I think this was true, for they + all seemed to regard him as a superior. I shall never forget my feelings + when he asked me the following questions, which I answered as I had been + directed. "Who do you believe in?" "God." "How many persons are there in + God?" "Three; the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost." "What world have you + lately left?" "The world of sin and Satan." "Do you wish to go back and + live with your father?" "No Sir." "Do you think you can live all your life + with us." "I think I can, sir." He then said, "You will not fare any + better than you have hitherto, and perhaps not as well." It was with the + greatest difficulty that I could control my feelings sufficiently to + answer this last question. But remembering what the Abbess had told me, I + suppressed my tears, and choked down the rising sob. Surely those men must + have known that I was telling a falsehood—that the profession I made + was not in accordance with my real sentiments. For myself, I then felt, + and still feel that the guilt was not mine. The sin did not rest with me. + </p> + <p> + The Bishop was then told to hear my confession, after which, a priest took + some ointment from a small box, and rubbed it on my forehead, and another + priest came with a towel and wiped it off. I was then taken back to St. + Bridget, with whom I remained, as long as I was in the White Nunnery. + </p> + <p> + On my tenth birthday, the Bishop came to the Abbess very early in the + morning, and informed her that I was to take the White Veil that day, and + immediately after the ceremony, I would leave for the Grey Nunnery in + Montreal. He desired her to make all the necessary preparation, and take + her leave of me, as she would not see me again. This was sad news for us + both, for I felt that she was my only friend, and I knew that she felt for + me, the most sincere affection. She gave me much good advice in reference + to my future conduct, and with tears exhorted me to be kind, cheerful, and + obedient. I was going to a new place, she said, and if I was a good girl, + and sought to please my superiors, I would find some one to be kind to me. + She advised me to try and appear contented in whatever situation I might + be placed, and above all other considerations, never disobey the least + command. "Obedience," she again repeated, "is the rule in all convents, + and it will be better for you to obey at once, and cheerfully, and + willingly comply with every request, than to incur displeasure and perhaps + punishment, by any appearance of reluctance or hesitation. If there is any + one thing that you dislike to do, be sure that you do not betray your + feelings, for if you do, that will be the very thing they will require of + you; and I assure you, if you once become the object of suspicion or + dislike, your condition will be anything but agreeable. You will be marked + and watched, and required to do many unpleasant things, to say the least. + Therefore I hope you will perform all your duties with a cheerful and + willing spirit." Bitterly did I grieve at the thought of being separated + from the only being on earth who seemed to care for me. In the anguish of + the moment, I wished I might die. St. Bridget reproved me, saying + encouragingly that death was the coward's refuge, sought only by those who + had not the resolution to meet, endure, or overcome the trials of life. + She exhorted me to courage, perseverance and self denial, saying that if I + fought life's battle bravely, I would have my reward. + </p> + <p> + She changed all my clothes, and assisted me to put on a white dress and + cape, and a white cap and veil. She then gave me a card of good behavior, + embraced me for the last time, and led me out to the Bishop, who was + waiting to conduct me to the chapel where the ceremony was to be + performed. + </p> + <p> + I there met ten other little girls, who, like myself, were compelled to + take upon themselves vows they did not understand, and thus, by an + apparently voluntary act, consign themselves to slavery for life. They + were all strangers to me, sent here, as I afterwards learned, from some + nunnery in Ireland, where they had friends who were too solicitous for + their welfare. The priests do not wish the nuns to see friends from the + world, and they will frame almost any plausible excuse to prevent it. But + when the friends become too urgent, as they sometimes do, and their + inventive powers are taxed too severely, or if the task of furnishing so + many excuses become too irksome, the poor hapless victims are sent off to + some other nunnery, and the friends are told that they were not contented, + and wished to go to some other place, and that they, generous creatures + that they are, have at length, after much solicitation, kindly consented + to their removal. And this too, when they know that these very girls are + grieving their lives away, for a sight of those dear friends, who, they + are confidently assured, are either dead, or have entirely forgotten them! + Can the world of woe itself furnish deceit of a darker dye? + </p> + <p> + The Bishop led me up to the altar, and put a lighted candle into my hand. + He then went under the altar, on which a lighted candle was placed, and + soon returned followed by two little boys whom they called apostles. They + held, each, a lighted torch with which they proceeded to light two more + candles. On a table near the altar, stood a coffin, and soon two priests + entered, bearing another coffin, which they placed beside the other. A + white cloth was spread over them, and burning candles placed at the head + and foot. These movements frightened me exceedingly, for I thought they + were going to kill me. + </p> + <p> + Forgetting in my terror that I was not allowed to speak, I asked the + Bishop if he was going to kill me. "Kill you!" he exclaimed, "O no; don't + be frightened; I shall not hurt you in the least. But it is our custom, + when a nun takes the veil, to lay her in a coffin to show that she is dead + to the world. Did not St. Bridget tell you this?" I told him she did not, + but I did not dare to tell him that I supposed she felt so bad when she + found I must leave her, that she entirely forgot it. He then asked very + pleasantly, which of the two coffins I liked the best, saying I could have + my choice. I replied, "I have no choice." This was true, for although he + assured me to the contrary, I still believed he was about to kill me, and + I cared very little about my coffin. They were both large enough for a + grown person, and beautifully finished, with a large silver plate on the + lid. The Bishop took me up in his arms, and laid me in one of them, and + bade me close my eyes. + </p> + <p> + I lay in that coffin a long time, as it seemed to me, without the least + motion. I was so much alarmed, I felt as though I could not even lift a + finger. Meantime the Bishop and priests read alternately from a book, but + in a language I could not understand. Occasionally they would come and + feel my hands and feet, and say to each other, "She is very cold." I + believe they were afraid I should die in their hands, of fear. When at + last they took me up, they told me that I would carry that coffin to + Montreal with me—that I would be laid in it when robed for the grave—and + that my bones would moulder to dust in it. I shall never forget the + impression these words made on my mind. There was something so horrible in + the thought of carrying a coffin about with me all my life, constantly + reminding me of the shortness of time, and the sure approach of death, I + could not endure it. Gladly would I have left it, costly and elegant as it + was, choosing rather to run the risk of being buried without one, but this + was not allowed. I could have no choice in the matter. + </p> + <p> + These ceremonies concluded. I was taken to a small room, and a woman + assisted me to change my clothes again, and put on the Grey Nunnery suit. + This consisted of a grey dress and shoes, and a black cap. Each nunnery + has a peculiar dress which every nun is required to wear. Thus, on meeting + one of them, it is very easy to tell what establishment she belongs to, + and a run-away is easily detected. On leaving the chapel, I was taken to + the steamboat, with the other ten girls, accompanied by a priest. Our + coffins were packed in cotton, and placed on the boat with us. On our + arrival at Montreal, we found a priest and two nuns waiting for us to + conduct us to the nunnery. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VI. — THE GREY NUNNERY. + </h2> + <p> + The Grey Nunnery is situated on St. Paul Street, Montreal. It is four + stories high, besides the basement. It occupies a large space of ground, I + do not know how much, but it is a very extensive building. The roof is + covered with tin, with a railing around it, finished at the top with sharp + points that look like silver, about a foot in length, and three feet + apart. Over the front door there is a porch covered with a profusion of + climbing plants, which give it a beautiful appearance. The building stands + in a large yard, surrounded on all sides by a high fence, so high indeed, + that people who pass along the street can see no part of the nunnery + except the silver points on the roof. The top of this fence is also + finished with long iron spikes. Every thing around the building seems + expressly arranged to keep the inmates in, and intruders out. In fact it + would be nearly impossible for any one to gain a forcible or clandestine + admittance to any part of the establishment. There are several gates in + the fence, how many I do not know, but the front gate opens on St. Ann + Street. Over each of the gates hangs a bell, connected with the bells in + the rooms of the Superior and Abbesses, which ring whenever the gate is + opened. There is always a guard of two men at each gate, who walk up and + down with guns upon their shoulders. While attempting to give a brief + description of this building, I may as well say that it is constructed + with non-conductors between the walls, so that the ringing of a bell, or + the loudest shriek, could not be heard from one room to the other. The + reader will please bear this in mind, as the reason for the precaution + will appear in the course of my narrative. + </p> + <p> + The priest, who met us as we left the boat, conducted us to the front door + and rang the bell. Soon a lady appeared, who drew a slide in the middle of + the door, exposing one pane of glass. Through this she looked, to see who + was there, and when satisfied on this point, opened the door. Here let me + remark, that since I left the nunnery, I have heard of another class of + people who find it convenient to have a slide in their door; and if I am + not very much mistaken, the character of the two houses, or rather the + people who live in them, are very much alike, whether they are nunneries + of private families, Catholics or Protestants. Honest people have no need + of a slide in the door, and where there is so much precaution, may we not + suppose that something behind the curtain imperatively calls for it? It is + an old adage, but true notwithstanding, that "where there is concealment, + there must be something wrong." + </p> + <p> + In the hall opposite the front door were two other doors, with a + considerable space between them. The right hand door was opened by the + door-tender, and we entered a room furnished in the plainest manner, but + every thing was neat, and in perfect order. Instead of chairs, on two + sides of the room a long bench was fastened to the sides of the house. + They were neither painted, nor cushioned, but were very white, as was also + the floor, on which there was no carpet. Beside the door stood a basin of + holy water, and directly opposite, an image of the Saviour extended on the + cross which they call a crucifix. + </p> + <p> + Here we were left a few moments, then the door-keeper came back, and asked + us if we would like to see the Black Cloisters; and if so, to follow her. + She led us back into the hall, and in the space between the two doors that + I mentioned, she unlocked a bar, and pulling it down, touched a spring, + and immediately a little square door slid back into the ceiling. Across + this door, or window or whatever they called it, were strong bars of iron + about one inch apart. Through this aperture we were allowed to look, and a + sad sight met my eyes. As many as fifty disconsolate looking ladies were + sitting there, who were called Black Nuns, because they were preparing to + take the Black Veil. They were all dressed in black, a black cap on the + head, and a white bandage drawn across the forehead, to which another was + attached, that passed under the chin. These bandages they always wore, and + were not allowed to lay aside. They sat, each one with a book in her hand, + motionless as so many statues. Not a finger did they move, not an eye was + raised, but they sat gazing upon the page before them as intently as + though life itself depended upon it. Our guide informed us that they were + studying the [footnote] Black Book preparatory to taking the Black Veil + and entering the Cloister. This book was quite a curiosity. It was very + large, with a white cover, and around the edge a black border about an + inch wide. + </p> + <p> + [Footnote: "The Black Book, or Praxis Sacra Romance Inquisitionis, is + always the model for that which is to succeed it. This book is a large + manuscript volume, in folio, and is carefully preserved by the head of the + Inquisition. It is called Libro Nero, the Black Book, because it has a + cover of that color; or, as an inquisitor explained to me, Libro Necro, + which, in the Greek language, signifies 'The book of the dead.' + </p> + <p> + "In this book is the criminal code, with all the punishments for every + supposed crime; also the mode of conducting the trial, so as to elicit the + guilt of the accused; and the manner of receiving accusations. I had this + book in my hand on one occasion, and read therein the proceedings relative + to my own case; and I moreover saw in this same volume some very + astounding particulars; for example, in the list of punishments I read + concerning the bit, or as it is called by us THE MORDACCHIA, which is a + very simple contrivance to confine the tongue, and compress it between two + cylinders composed of iron and wood and furnished with spikes. This + horrible instrument not only wounds the tongue and occasions excessive + pain, but also, from the swelling it produces; frequently places the + sufferer in danger of suffocation. This torture is generally had recourse + to in cases considered as blasphemy against God, the Virgin, the Saints, + or the Pope. So that according to the Inquisition, it is as great a crime + to speak disparagingly of a pope, who may be a very detestable character, + as to blaspheme the holy name of God. Be that as it may, this torture has + been in use till the present period; and, to say nothing of the + exhibitions of this nature which were displayed in Romanga, in the time of + Gregory 16th., by the Inquisitor Ancarani—in Umbria by Stefanelli, + Salva, and others, we may admire the inquisitorial seal of Cardinal + Feretti, the cousin of his present holiness, who condescended more than + once to employ these means when he was bishop of Rieti and Fermo." + Dealings with the Inquisition, by the Rev. Giacinto Achilli D. D., late + Prior and Visitor of the Dominican Order, Head Professor of Theology and + Vicar of the master of the Sacred Apostolic Palace, etc., etc., page 81.] + </p> + <p> + Our curiosity being satisfied as far as possible, we returned to the side + room, where we waited long for the lady Superior. When at length she came, + she turned to me first, as I sat next the door, and asked me if I had + anything to show in proof of my former good character. I gave her my card; + she looked at it, and led me to the other side of the room. The same + question was asked of every girl in turn, when it was found that only four + beside myself had cards of good behavior. The other six presented cards + which she said were for bad behavior. They were all placed together on the + other side of the room; and as the Superior was about to lead them away, + one of them came towards us saying that she did not wish to stay with + those girls, she would rather go with us. The Superior drew her back, and + replied, "No, child; you cannot go with those good girls; you would soon + learn them some of your naughty ways. If you will do wrong, you must take + the consequences." Then, seeing that the child really felt very bad, she + said, in a kinder tone, "When you learn to do right, you shall be allowed + to go with good girls, but not before." I pitied the poor child, and for a + long time I hoped to see her come to our room; but she never came. They + were all led off together, and that was the last I ever saw of any of + them. + </p> + <p> + I was taken, with the other four girls, to a room on the second floor. + Here we found five cribs, one for each of us, in which we slept. Our food + was brought to us regularly, consisting of one thin slice of fine wheat + bread for each of us, and a small cup of milk. It was only in the morning, + however, that the milk was allowed us, and for dinner and supper we had a + slice of bread and a cup of water. This was not half enough to satisfy our + hunger; but we could have no more. For myself I can say that I was hungry + all the time, and I know the others were also; but we could not say so to + each other. We were in that room together five weeks, yet not one word + passed between us. We did sometimes smile, or shake our heads, or make + some little sign, though even this was prohibited, but we never ventured + to speak. We were forbidden to do so, on pain of severe punishment; and I + believe we were watched all the time, and kept there, for a trial of our + obedience. We were employed in peeling a soft kind of wood for beds, and + filling the ticks with it. We were directed to make our own beds, keep our + room in the most perfect order, and all our work in the middle of the + floor. The Superior came up every morning to see that we were thoroughly + washed, and every Saturday she was very particular to have our clothes and + bed linen all changed. As every convenience was provided in our rooms or + the closets adjoining, we were not obliged to go out for anything, and for + five weeks I did not go out of that room. + </p> + <p> + My bed was then brought from Quebec, and we were moved to a large square + room, with four beds in it, only two of which were occupied. We were then + sent to the kitchen, where in future, we were to be employed in cleaning + sauce, scouring knives and forks, and such work as we were able to do. As + we grew older, our tasks were increased with our strength. I had no + regular employment, but was called upon to do any of the drudgery that was + to be done about the house. The Superior came to the kitchen every morning + after prayers and told us what to do through the day. Then, in her + presence we were allowed five minutes conversation, a priest also being + present. For the rest of the day we kept a profound silence, not a word + being spoken by any of us unless in answer to a question from some of our + superiors. + </p> + <p> + In one part of the building there was a school for young ladies, who were + instructed in the various branches of education usually taught in Catholic + schools. Many of the scholars boarded at the nunnery, and all the cooking + and washing was done in the kitchen. We also did the cooking for the + saloons in Montreal. If this did not keep us employed, there were corn + brooms and brushes to make, and thus every moment was fully occupied. Not + a moment of leisure, no rest, no recreation, but hard labor, and the still + more laborious religious exercises, filled up the time. It was sometimes + very annoying to me to devote so many hours to mere external forms; for I + felt, even when very young, that they were of little worth. But it was a + severe trial to our temper to make so many pies, cakes, puddings, and all + kinds of rich food, which we were never allowed to taste. The priests, + superiors, and the scholars had every luxury they desired; but the nuns, + who prepared all their choice dainties, were never permitted to taste + anything but bread and water. I am well aware that this statement will + seem incredible, and that many will doubt the truth of it; but I repeat + it: the nuns in the Grey Nunnery, or at least those in the kitchen with + me, were allowed no food except bread and water, or, in case of illness, + water gruel. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VII. — ORPHAN'S HOME. + </h2> + <p> + The Grey Nunnery is said to be an orphan's home, and no effort is spared + to make visitors believe that this is the real character of the house. I + suppose it is true that one part of it is devoted to this purpose; at + least my Superior informed me that many children were kept there; and to + those apartments visitors are freely admitted, but never to that part + occupied by the nuns. We were never allowed to communicate with people + from the world, nor with the children. In fact, during all the time I was + there, I never saw one of them, nor did I ever enter the rooms where they + were. + </p> + <p> + In the ladies' school there were three hundred scholars, and in our part + of the house two hundred and fifty nuns, besides the children who belonged + to the nunnery. Add to these the abbesses, superiors, priests, and bishop, + and one will readily imagine that the work for such a family was no + trifling affair. + </p> + <p> + In this nunnery the Bishop was the highest authority, and everything was + under his direction, unless the Pope's Nuncio, or some other high church + functionary was present. I sometimes saw one whom they called the + Archbishop, who was treated with great deference by the priests, and even + by the Bishop himself. + </p> + <p> + The Holy Mother, or Lady Superior, has power over all who have taken or + are preparing to take the veil. Under her other superiors or abbesses are + appointed over the various departments, whose duty it is to look after the + nuns and novices, and the children in training for nuns. The most rigid + espionage is kept up throughout the whole establishment; and if any of + these superiors or abbesses fail to do the duty assigned them, they are + more severely punished than the nuns. Whenever the Lady Superior is absent + the punishments are assigned by one of the priests. Of these there were a + large number in the nunnery; and whenever we chanced to meet one of them, + as we sometimes did when going about the house, or whenever one of them + entered the kitchen, we must immediately fall upon our knees. No matter + what we were doing, however busily employed, or however inconvenient it + might be, every thing must be left or set aside, that this senseless + ceremony might be performed. The priest must be honored, and woe to the + poor nun who failed to move with sufficient alacrity; no punishment short + of death itself was thought too severe for such criminal neglect. + Sometimes it would happen that I would be engaged in some employment with + my back to the door, and not observe the entrance of a priest until the + general movement around me would arrest my attention; then I would hasten + to "make my manners," as the ceremony was called; but all too late. I had + been remiss in duty, and no excuse would avail, no apology be accepted, no + forgiveness granted; the dreaded punishment must come. + </p> + <p> + While the nuns are thus severely treated, the priests, and the Holy Mother + live a very easy life, and have all the privileges they wish. So far as + the things of this world are concerned, they seem to enjoy themselves very + well. But I have sometimes wondered if conscience did not give them + occasionally, an unpleasant twinge; and from some things I have seen, I + believe, that with many of them, this is the fact. They may try to put far + from them all thoughts of a judgment to come, yet I do believe that their + slumbers are sometimes disturbed by fearful forebodings of a just + retribution which may, after all, be in store for them. But whatever + trouble of mind they may have, they do not allow it to interfere with + their worldly pleasures, and expensive luxuries. They have money enough, + go when, and where they please, eat the richest food and drink the + choicest wines. In short, if sensual enjoyment was the chief end of their + existence, I do not know how they could act otherwise. The Abbesses are + sometimes allowed to go out, but not unless they have a pass from one of + the priests, and if, at any time, they have reason to suspect that some + one is discontented, they will not allow any one to go out of the building + without a careful attendant. + </p> + <p> + My Superior here, as in the White Nunnery, was very kind to me. I + sometimes feared she would share the fate of Father Darity, for she had a + kind heart, and was guilty of many benevolent acts, which, if known, would + have subjected her to very serious consequences. I became so much attached + to her, that my fears for her were always alarmed when she called me her + good little girl, or used any such endearing expression. The sequel of my + story will show that my fears were not unfounded; but let me not + anticipate. Sorrows will thicken fast enough, if we do not hasten them. + </p> + <p> + I lived with this Superior one year before I was consecrated, and it was, + comparatively, a happy season. I was never punished unless it was to save + me from less merciful hands; and then I would be shut up in a closet, or + some such simple thing. The other four girls who occupied the room with + me, were consecrated at the same time. + </p> + <p> + The Bishop came to our room early one morning, and took us to the chapel. + At the door we were made to kneel, and then crawl on our hands and knees + to the altar, where sat a man, who we were told, was the Archbishop. Two + little boys came up from under the altar, with the vesper lamp to burn + incense. I suppose they were young Apostles, for they looked very much + like those we had seen at the White Nunnery, and were dressed in the same + manner. The Bishop turned his back, and they threw incense on his head and + shoulders, until he was surrounded by a cloud of smoke. He bowed his head, + smote upon his breast, and repeated something in latin, or some other + language, that we did not understand. We were told to follow his example, + and did so, as nearly as possible. This ceremony over, the Bishop told us + to go up on to the altar on our knees, and when this feat was performed to + his satisfaction, he placed a crown of thorns upon each of our heads. + These crowns were made of bands of some firm material, which passed over + the head and around the forehead. On the inside thorns were fastened, with + the points downward, so that a very slight pressure would cause them to + pierce the skin. This I suppose is intended to imitate the crown of thorns + which our Saviour wore upon the cross. But what will it avail them to + imitate the crucifixion and the crown of thorns, while justice and mercy + are so entirely neglected? What will it avail to place a crown of thorns + upon a child's head, or to bid her kneel before the image of the Saviour, + or travel up stairs on her knees, while the way of salvation by Christ is + never explained to her; while of real religion, holiness of heart, and + purity of life she is as ignorant as the most benighted, degraded heathen? + Is it rational to suppose that the mere act of repeating a prayer can heal + the wounded spirit, or give peace to a troubled conscience? Can the most + cruel penance remove the sense of guilt, or whisper hope to the desponding + soul? Ah, no! I have tried it long enough to speak with absolute + certainty. For years I practiced these senseless mummeries, and if there + were any virtue, in them, I should, most certainly have discovered it. But + I know full well, and my reader knows that they cannot satisfy the + restless yearnings of the immortal mind. They may delude the vulgar, but + they cannot dispel the darkness of the tomb, they cannot lead a soul to + Christ. + </p> + <p> + On leaving the chapel after the ceremony, I found a new Superior, waiting + for us at the door to conduct us to our rooms. We were all very much + surprised at this, but she informed us that our old Superior died that + morning, that she was already buried, and she had come to take her place. + I could not believe this story, for she came to us as usual that morning, + appeared in usual health, though always very pale, and made no complaint, + or exhibited any signs of illness. She told us in her kind and pleasant + way that we were to be consecrated, gave us a few words of advice, but + said nothing about leaving us, and I do not believe she even thought of + such a thing. Little did I think, when she left us, that I was never to + see her again. But so it was. In just two hours and a half from that time, + we were told that she was dead and buried, and another filled her place! A + probable story, truly! I wonder if they thought we believed it! But + whether we did or not, that was all we could ever know about it. No + allusion was ever made to the subject, and nuns are not allowed to ask + questions. However excited we might feel, no information could we seek as + to the manner of her death. Whether she died by disease, or by the hand of + violence; whether her gentle spirit peacefully winged its way to the bosom + of its God, or was hastily driven forth upon the dagger's point, whether + some kind friend closed her eyes in death, and decently robed her cold + limbs for the grave, or whether torn upon the agonizing rack, whether she + is left to moulder away in some dungeon's gloom, or thrown into the + quickly consuming fire, we could never know. These, and many other + questions that might have been asked, will never be answered until the + last great day, when the grave shall give up its dead, and, the prison + disclose its secrets. + </p> + <p> + After the consecration we were separated, and only one of the girls + remained with me. The others I never saw again. We were put into a large + room, where were three beds, one large and two small ones. In the large + bed the Superior slept, while I occupied one of the small beds and the + other little nun the other. Our new Superior was very strict, and we were + severely punished for the least trifle—such, for instance, as making + a noise, either in our own room or in the kitchen. We might not even + smile, or make motions to each other, or look in each other's face. We + must keep our eyes on our work or on the floor, in token of humility. To + look a person full in the face was considered an unpardonable act of + boldness. On retiring for the night we were required to lie perfectly + motionless. We might not move a hand or foot, or even a finger. At twelve + the bell rang for prayers, when we must rise, kneel by our beds, and + repeat prayers until the second bell, when we again retired to rest. On + cold winter nights these midnight prayers were a most cruel penance. It + did seem as though I should freeze to death. But live or die, the prayers + must be said, and the Superior was always there to see that we were not + remiss in duty. If she slept at all I am sure it must have been with one + eye open, for she saw everything. But if I obeyed in this thing, I found + it impossible to lie as still as they required; I would move when I was + asleep without knowing it. This of course could not be allowed, and for + many weeks I was strapped down to my bed every night, until I could sleep + without the movement of a muscle. I was very anxious to do as nearly right + as possible, for I thought if they saw that I strove with all my might to + obey, they would perhaps excuse me if I did fail to conquer + impossibilities. In this, however, I was disappointed; and I at length + became weary of trying to do right, for they would inflict severe + punishments for the most trifling accident. In fact, if I give anything + like a correct account of my convent life, it will be little else than a + history of punishments. Pains, trials, prayers, and mortifications filled + up the time. Penance was the rule, to escape it the exception. + </p> + <p> + I neglected at the proper time to state what name was given me when I took + the veil; I may therefore as well say in this place that my convent name + was Sister Agnes. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VIII. — CONFESSION AND SORROW OF NO AVAIL. + </h2> + <p> + It was a part of my business to wait upon the priests in their rooms, + carry them water, clean towels, wine-glasses, or anything they needed. + When entering a priest's room it was customary for a child to knock twice, + an adult four times, and a priest three times. This rule I was very + careful to observe. Whenever a priest opened the door I was required to + courtesy, and fall upon my knees; but if it was opened by one of the + waiters this ceremony was omitted. These waiters were the boys I have + before mentioned, called apostles. It was also a part of my business to + wait upon them, carry them clean frocks, etc. + </p> + <p> + One day I was carrying a pitcher of water to one of the priests, and it + being very heavy, it required both my hands and nearly all my strength to + keep it upright. On reaching the door, however, I attempted to hold it + with one hand (as I dare not set it down), while I rapped with the other. + In so doing I chanced to spill a little water on the floor. Just at that + moment the door was opened by the priest himself, and when he saw the + water he was very angry. He caught me by the arm and asked what punishment + he should inflict upon me for being so careless. I attempted to explain + how it happened, told him it was an accident, that I was very sorry, and + would try to be more careful in future. But I might as well have said that + I was glad, and would do so again, for my confession, sorrow, and promises + of future obedience were entirely thrown away, and might as well have been + kept for some one who could appreciate the feeling that prompted them. + </p> + <p> + He immediately led me out of his room, it being on the second floor, and + down into the back yard. Here, in the centre of the gravel walk, was a + grate where they put down coal. This grate he raised and bade me go down. + I obeyed, and descending a few steps found myself in a coal cellar, the + floor being covered with it for some feet in depth. On this we walked some + two rods, perhaps, when the priest stopped, and with a shovel that stood + near cleared away the coal and lifted a trap door. Through this we + descended four or five steps, and proceeded along a dark, narrow passage, + so low we could not stand erect, and the atmosphere so cold and damp it + produced the most uncomfortable sensations. By the light of a small + lantern which the priest carried in his hand, I was enabled to observe on + each side the passage small doors, a few feet apart, as far as I could + see. Some of them were open, others shut, and the key upon the outside. In + each of these doors there was a small opening, with iron bars across it, + through which the prisoner received food, if allowed to have any. One of + these doors I was directed to enter, which I did with some difficulty, the + place being so low, and I was trembling with cold and fear. The priest + crawled in after me and tied me to the back part of the cell, leaving me + there in midnight darkness, and locking the door after him. I could hear + on all sides, as it seemed to me, the sobs, groans, and shrieks of other + prisoners, some of whom prayed earnestly for death to release them from + their sufferings. + </p> + <p> + For twenty-four hours I was left to bear as I best could the pains and + terrors of cold, hunger, darkness, and fatigue. I could neither sit or lie + down, and every one knows how very painful it is to stand upon the feet a + long time, even when the position can be slightly changed; how much more + so when no change can be effected, but the same set of muscles kept + continually on the stretch for the space of twenty-four hours! Moreover, I + knew not how long I should be kept there. The other prisoners, whose + agonizing cries fell upon my ears, were evidently suffering all the + horrors of starvation. Was I to meet a fate like this? Were those terrible + sufferings in reserve for me? How could I endure them? And then came the + thought so often present with me while in the convent, "If there is a God + in heaven, why does He permit such things? What have I done that I should + become the victim of such cruelty? God of mercy!" I involuntarily + exclaimed, "save me from this terrible death." + </p> + <p> + My prayer was heard, my petition granted. At the close of twenty-four + hours, the Lady Superior came and released me from my prison, told me to + go to the priest and ask his forgiveness, and then go to my work in the + kitchen. I was very faint and weak from my long fast, and I resolved never + to offend again. I verily thought I could be careful enough to escape + another such punishment. But I had not been in the kitchen one hour, when + I chanced to let a plate fall upon the floor. It was in no way injured, + but I had broken the rules by making a noise, and the Superior immediately + reported me to the priest. He soon appeared with his bunch of keys and a + dark lantern in his hand. He took me by the ear which he pinched till he + brought tears to my eyes, saying, "You don't try to do well, and I'll make + you suffer the consequences." I did not reply, for I had learned that to + answer a priest, or seek to vindicate myself, or even to explain how + things came to be so, was in itself a crime, to be severely punished. + However unjust their treatment, or whatever my feelings might be, I knew + it was better to suffer in silence. + </p> + <p> + Unlocking a door that opened out of the kitchen, and still keeping hold of + my ear, he led me into a dark, gloomy hall, with black walls, and opening + a door on the right, he bade me enter. This room was lighted by a candle, + and around the sides, large iron hooks with heavy chains attached to them, + were driven into the wall. At the back part of the room, he opened the + door, and bade me enter a small closet. He then put a large iron ring over + my head, and pressed it down upon my shoulders. Heavy weights were placed + in my hands, and I was told to stand up straight, and hold them fifteen + minutes. This I could not do. Had my life depended upon the effort, I + could not have stood erect, with those weights in my hands. The priest, + however, did not reprove me. Perhaps he saw that I exerted all my strength + to obey, for he took out his watch, and slowly counted the minutes as they + passed. Ere a third part of the time expired, he was obliged to release + me, for the blood gushed from my nose and mouth, and I began to feel faint + and dizzy. The irons were removed, and the blood ceased to flow. + </p> + <p> + I was then taken to another room, lighted like the other, but it was damp + and cold, and pervaded by a strong, fetid, and very offensive odor. The + floor was of wood, and badly stained with blood. At least, I thought it + was blood, but there was not light enough to enable me to say positively + what it was. In the middle of the room, stood two long tables, on each of + which, lay a corpse, covered with a white cloth. The priest led me to + these tables, removed the cloth and bade me look upon the face of the + dead. They were very much emaciated, and the features, even in death, bore + the impress of terrible suffering. We stood there a few moments, when he + again led me back to his own room. He then asked me what I thought of what + I had seen. Having taken no food for more than twenty-four hours, I + replied, "I am so hungry, I can think of nothing else." "How would you + like to eat those dead bodies?" he asked. "I would starve, Sir, before I + would do it," I replied. "Would you?" said he, with a slight sneer. "Yes + indeed," I exclaimed, striving to suppress my indignant feelings. "What! + eat the flesh of a corpse? You do not mean it. I would starve to death + first!" Frightened at my own temerity in speaking so boldly, I + involuntarily raised my eye. The peculiar smile upon his face actually + chilled my blood with terror. He did not, however, seem to notice me, but + said, "Do not be too sure; I have seen others quite as sure as you are, + yet they were glad to do it to save their lives; and remember," he added + significantly, "you will do it too if you are not careful." He then + ordered me to return to the kitchen. + </p> + <p> + At ten o'clock in the morning, the nuns had a slice of bread and cup of + water; but, as I had been fasting, they gave me a bowl of gruel, composed + of indian meal and water, with a little salt. A poor dinner this, for a + hungry person, but I could have no more. At eleven, we went to mass in the + chapel as usual. It was our custom to have mass every day, and I have been + told that this is true of all Romish establishments. Returning to my work + in the kitchen, I again resolved that I would be so careful, that, in + future they should have no cause for complaint For two days I succeeded. + Yes, for two whole days, I escaped punishment. This I notice as somewhat + remarkable, because I was generally punished every day, and sometimes two + or three times in a day. + </p> + <p> + On the third morning, I was dusting the furniture in the room occupied by + the priest above mentioned, who treated me so cruelly. The floor being + uncarpeted, in moving the chairs I chanced to make a slight noise, + although I did my best to avoid it. He immediately sprang to his feet, + exclaiming, "You careless dog! What did you do that for?" Then taking me + by the arms, he gave me a hard shake, saying, "Have I not told you that + you would be punished, if you made a noise? But I see how it is with you; + your mind is on the world, and you think more of that, than you do of the + convent. But I shall punish you until you do your duty better." He + concluded this choice speech by telling me to "march down stairs." Of + course, I obeyed, and he followed me, striking me on the head at every + step, with a book he held in his hand. I thought to escape some of the + blows, and hastened along, but all in vain; he kept near me and drove me + before him into the priests sitting-room. He then sent for three more + priests, to decide upon my punishment. A long consultation they held upon + "this serious business," as I sneeringly thought it, but the result was + serious in good earnest, I assure you. For the heinous offence of making a + slight noise I was to have dry peas bound upon my knees, and then be made + to crawl to St. Patrick's church, through an underground passage, and back + again. This church was situated on a hill, a little more than a quarter of + a mile from the convent. Between the two buildings, an under-ground + passage had been constructed, just large enough to allow a person to crawl + through it on the hands and knees. It was so low, and narrow, that it was + impossible either to rise, or turn around; once within that passage there + was no escape, but to go on to the end. They allowed me five hours to go + and return; and to prove that I had really been there, I was to make a + cross, and two straight lines, with a bit of chalk, upon a black-board + that I should find at the end. + </p> + <p> + O, the intolerable agonies I endured on that terrible pathway! Any + description that I can give, will fail to convey the least idea of the + misery of those long five hours. It may, perchance, seem a very simple + mode of punishment, but let any one just try it, and they will be + convinced that it was no trifling thing. At the end, I found myself in a + cellar under the church, where there was light enough to enable me to find + the board and the chalk. I made the mark according to orders, and then + looked around for some means of escape. Alas! There was none to be found. + Strong iron bars firmly secured the only door, and a very slight + examination convinced me that my case was utterly hopeless. I then tried + to remove the peas from my swollen, bleeding limbs, but this, too, I found + impossible. They were evidently fastened by a practised hand; and I was, + at length, compelled to believe that I must return as I came. I did + return; but O, how, many times I gave up in despair, and thought I could + go no further! How many times did I stretch myself on the cold stones, in + such bitter agony, that I could have welcomed death as a friend and + deliverer! What would I not have given for one glass of cold water, or + even for a breath of fresh air! My limbs seemed on fire, and while great + drops of perspiration fell from my face, my throat and tongue were + literally parched with thirst. But the end came at last, and I found the + priest waiting for me at the entrance. He seemed very angry, and said, + "You have been gone over your time. There was no need of it; you could + have returned sooner if you had chosen to do so, and now, I shall punish + you again, for being gone so long." At first, his reproaches grieved me, + for I had done my best to please him, and I did so long for one word of + sympathy, it seemed for a moment, as though my heart would break. Had he + then spoken one kind word to me, or manifested the least compassion for my + sufferings, I could have forgiven the past, and obeyed him with feelings + of love and gratitude for the future. Yes, I would have done anything for + that man, if I could have felt that he had the least pity for me; but when + he said he should punish me again, my heart turned to stone. Every tender + emotion vanished, and a fierce hatred, a burning indignation, and thirst + for revenge, took possession of my soul. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0009" id="link2HCH0009"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IX. — ALONE WITH THE DEAD. + </h2> + <p> + The priest removed the peas from my limbs, and led me to a tomb under the + chapel, where he left me, with the consoling assurance that "THE DEAD + WOULD RISE AND EAT ME!" This tomb was a large rectangular room, with + shelves on three sides of it, on which were the coffins of priests and + Superiors who had died in the nunnery. On the floor under the shelves, + were large piles of human bones, dry and white, and some of them crumbling + into dust. In the center of the room was a large tank of water, several + feet in diameter, called St. Joseph's well. It occupied the whole center + of the room leaving a very narrow pathway between that, and the shelves; + so narrow, indeed, that I found it impossible to sit down, and exceedingly + difficult to walk or even stand still. I was obliged to hold firmly by the + shelves, to avoid slipping into the water which looked dark and deep. The + priest said, when he left me, that if I fell in, I would drown, for no one + could take me out. + </p> + <p> + O, how my heart thrilled with superstitious terror when I heard the key + turn in the lock, and realized that I was alone with the dead! And that + was not the worst of it. They would rise and eat me! For a few hours I + stood as though paralyzed with fear. A cold perspiration covered my + trembling limbs, as I watched those coffins with the most painful and + serious apprehension. Every moment I expected the fearful catastrophe, and + even wondered which part they would devour first—whether one would + come alone and thus kill me by inches, or whether they would all rise at + once, and quickly make an end of me. I even imagined I could see the + coffins move—that I heard the dead groan and sigh and even the sound + of my own chattering teeth, I fancied to be a movement among the dry bones + that lay at my feet. In the extremity of terror I shrieked aloud. But this + I knew was utterly useless. Who would hear me? Or who would care if they + did hear? I was surrounded by walls that no sound could penetrate, and if + it could, it would fall upon ears deaf to the agonizing cry for mercy,—upon + hearts that feel no sympathy for human woe. + </p> + <p> + Some persons may be disposed to smile at this record of absurd and + superstitions fear. But to me it was no laughing affair. Had not the + priest said that the dead would rise and eat me? And did I not firmly + believe that what he said was true? What! A priest tell a falsehood? + Impossible. I thought it could not be; yet as hour after hour passed away, + and no harm came to me, I began to exercise my reason a little, and very + soon came to the conclusion that the priests are not the immaculate, + infallible beings I had been taught to believe. Cruel and hard hearted, I + knew them to be, but I did not suspect them of falsehood. Hitherto I had + supposed it was impossible for them to do wrong, or to err in judgement; + all their cruel acts being done for the benefit of the soul, which in some + inexplicable way was to be benefited by the sufferings of the body. Now, + however, I began to question the truth of many things I had seen and + heard, and ere long I lost all faith in them, or in the terrible system of + bigotry, cruelty and fraud, which they call religion. + </p> + <p> + As the hours passed by and my fears vanished before the calm light of + reason, I gradually gained sufficient courage to enable me to examine the + tomb, thinking that I might perchance discover the body of my old + Superior. For this purpose I accordingly commenced the circuit of the + room, holding on by the shelves, and making my way slowly onward. One + coffin I succeeded in opening, but the sight of the corpse so frightened + me, I did not dare to open another. The room being brilliantly lighted + with two large spermaceti candles at one end, and a gas burner at the + other, I was enabled to see every feature distinctly. + </p> + <p> + One of the nuns informed me that none but priests and Superiors are laid + in that tomb. When these die in full communion with the church, the body + is embalmed, and placed here, but it sometimes happens that a priest or + Superior is found in the convent who does not believe all that is taught + by the church of Rome. They desire to investigate the subject—to + seek for more light—more knowledge of the way of salvation by + Christ. This, with the Romanists is a great sin, and the poor hapless + victim is at once placed under punishment. If they die in this condition, + their bodies are cast out as heretics, but if they confess and receive + absolution, they are placed in the tomb, but not embalmed. The flesh, of + course, decays, and then the bones are thrown under the shelves. Never + shall I forget how frightful those bones appeared to me, or the cold + shudder that thrilled my frame at the sight of the numerous human skulls + that lay scattered around. + </p> + <p> + Twenty-four hours I spent in this abode of the dead, without rest or + sleep. The attempt to obtain either would have been sheer madness, for the + least mis-step, the least unguarded motion, or a slight relaxation of the + firm grasp by which I held on to the shelves, would have plunged me + headlong into the dark water, from which escape would have been + impossible. For thirty hours I had not tasted food, and my limbs, mangled + and badly swollen, were so stiff with long standing, that, when allowed to + leave the tomb, I could hardly step. When the priest came to let me out, + he seemed to think it necessary to say something to cover his attempt to + deceive and frighten me, but he only made a bad matter worse. He said that + after he left me, he thought he would try me once more, and see if I would + not do my duty better; he had, therefore, WILLED THE DEAD NOT TO EAT ME! + AND THEY, OBEDIENT TO HIS WILL, WERE COMPELLED TO LET ME ALONE! I did not + reply to this absurd declaration, lest I should say something I ought not, + and again incur his displeasure. Indeed, I was not expected to say + anything, unless I returned thanks for his unparalleled kindness, and I + was not hypocrite enough for that. I suppose he thought I believed all he + said, but he was greatly mistaken. If I began to doubt his word while in + the tomb, this ridiculous pretence only served to add contempt to + unbelief, and from that time I regarded him as a deceiver, and a vile, + unscrupulous, hypocritical pretender. + </p> + <p> + It was with the greatest difficulty that I again made my way to the + kitchen. I was never very strong, even when allowed my regular meals, for + the quantity, was altogether insufficient, to satisfy the demands of + nature; and now I had been so long without anything to eat, I was so weak, + and my limbs so stiff and swollen, I could hardly stand. I managed, + however, to reach the kitchen, when I was immediately seated at the table + and presented with a bowl of gruel. O, what a luxury it seemed to me, and + how eagerly did I partake of it! It was soon gone, and I looked around for + a further supply. Another nun, who sat at the table with me, with a bowl + of gruel before her, noticed my disappointment when I saw that I was to + have no more. She was a stranger to me, and so pale and emaciated she + looked more like a corpse than a living person. She had tasted a little of + her gruel, but her stomach was too weak to retain it, and as soon as the + Superior left us she took it up and poured the whole into my bowl, making + at the same time a gesture that gave me to understand that it was of no + use to her, and she wished me to eat it I did not wait for a second + invitation, and she seemed pleased to see me accept it so readily. We + dared not speak, but we had no difficulty in understanding each other. + </p> + <p> + I had but just finished my gruel when the Superior came back and desired + me to go up stairs and help tie a mad nun. I think she did this simply for + the purpose of giving me a quiet lesson in convent life, and showing me + the consequences of resistance or disobedience. She must have known that I + was altogether incapable of giving the assistance she pretended to ask. + But I followed her as fast as possible, and when she saw how difficult it + was for me to get up stairs, she walked slowly and gave me all the time I + wished for. She led me into a small room and closed the door. There I + beheld a scene that called forth my warmest sympathy, and at the same time + excited feelings of indignation that will never be subdued while reason + retains her throne. In the center of the room sat a young girl, who could + not have been more than sixteen years old; and a face and form of such + perfect symmetry, such surpassing beauty, I never saw. She was divested of + all her clothing except one under-garment, and her hands and feet securely + tied to the chair on which she sat. A priest stood beside her, and as we + entered he bade us assist him in removing the beds from the bedstead. They + then took the nun from her chair and laid her on the bedcord. They desired + me to assist them, but my heart failed me. I could not do it, for I was + sure they were about to kill her; and as I gazed upon those calm, + expressive features, so pale and sad, yet so perfectly beautiful, I felt + that it would be sacrilege for me to raise my hand against nature's + holiest and most exquisite work. I therefore assured them that I was too + weak to render the assistance they required. At first they attempted to + compel me to do it; but, finding that I was really very weak, and + unwilling to use what strength I had, they at length permitted me to stand + aside. When they extended the poor girl on the cord, she said, very + quietly, "I am not mad, and you know that I am not." To this no answer was + given, but they calmly proceeded with their fiendish work. One of them + tied her feet, while the other fastened a rope across her neck in such a + way that if she attempted to raise her head it would strangle her. The + rope was then fastened under the bedcord, and two or three times over her + person. Her arms were extended, and fastened in the same way. As she lay + thus, like a lamb bound for the sacrifice, she looked up at her tormentors + and said, "Will the Lord permit me to die in this cruel way?" The priest + immediately exclaimed, in an angry tone, "Stop your talk, you mad woman!" + and turning to me, he bade me go back to the kitchen. It is probable he + saw the impression on my mind was not just what they desired, therefore he + hurried me away. + </p> + <p> + All this time the poor doomed nun submitted quietly to her fate. I suppose + she thought it useless, yea, worse than useless, to resist; for any effort + she might make to escape would only provoke them, and they would torment + her the more. I presume she thought her last hour had come, and the sooner + she was out of her misery the better. As for me, my heart was so filled + with terror, anguish, and pity for her, I could hardly obey the command to + leave the room. + </p> + <p> + I attempted to descend the stairs, but was obliged to go very slowly on + account of the stiffness of my limbs, and before I reached the bottom of + the first flight the priest and the Superior came out into the hall. I + heard them whispering together, and I paused to listen. This, I know, was + wrong; but I could not help it, and I was so excited I did not realize + what I was doing. My anxiety for that girl overpowered every other + feeling. At first I could only hear the sound of their voices; but soon + they spoke more distinctly, and I heard the words. "What shall we do with + her? she will never confess." In an audible tone of voice, the other + replied, "We had better finish her." How those words thrilled my soul! I + knew well enough that they designed "to finish her," but to hear the + purpose announced so coolly, it was horrible. Was there no way that I + could save her? Must I stand there, and know that a fellow-creature was + being murdered, that a young girl like myself, in all the freshness of + youth and the fullness of health, was to be cut off in the very prime of + life and numbered with the dead; hurried out of existence and plunged, + unwept, unlamented, into darkness and silence? She had friends, + undoubtedly, but they would never be allowed to know her sad fate, never + shed a tear upon her grave! I could not endure the thought. I felt that if + I lingered there another moment I should be in danger of madness myself; + for I could not help her. I could not prevent the consummation of their + cruel purpose; I therefore hastened away, and this was the last I ever + heard of that poor nun. I had never seen her before, and as I did not see + her clothes, I could not even tell whether she belonged to our nunnery or + not. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0010" id="link2HCH0010"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER X. — THE SICK NUN. + </h2> + <p> + On my return to the kitchen I found the sick nun sitting as we left her. + She asked me, by signs, if we were alone. I told her she need not fear to + speak, for the Superior was two flights of stairs above, and no one else + was near. "Are they all away?" she whispered. I assured her that we were + quite alone, that she had nothing to fear. She then informed me that she + had been nine days under punishment, that when taken from the cell she + could not stand or speak, and she was still too weak to walk without + assistance. "O!" said she, and the big tears rolled over her cheeks as she + said it, "I have not a friend in the world. You do not know how my heart + longs for love, for sympathy and kindness." I asked if she had not + parents, or friends, in the world. She replied, "I was born in this + convent, and know no world but this. You see," she continued, with a sad + smile, "what kind of friends I have here. O, if I HAD A FRIEND, if I could + feel that one human being cares for me, I should get better. But it is so + long since I heard a kind word—" a sob choked her utterance. I told + her I would be a friend to her as far as I could. She thanked me; said she + was well aware of the difficulties that lay in my way, for every + expression of sympathy or kind feeling between the nuns was strictly + forbidden, and if caught in anything of the kind a severe correction would + follow. "But," said she "if you will give me a kind look sometimes, + whenever you can do so with safety, it will be worth a great deal to me. + You do not know the value of a kind look to a breaking heart." + </p> + <p> + She wept so bitterly, I feared it would injure her health, and to divert + her mind, I told her where I was born; spoke of my childhood, and of my + life at the White Nunnery. She wiped away her tears, and replied, "I know + all about it. I have heard the priests talk about you, and they say that + your father is yet living, that your mother was a firm protestant, and + that it will be hard for them to beat Catholicism into you. But I do not + know how you came in that nunnery. Who put you there?" I told her that I + was placed there by my father, when only six years old. "Is it possible?" + she exclaimed, and then added passionately, "Curse your father for it." + After a moments silence, she continued, "Yes, child; you have indeed cause + to curse your father, and the day when you first entered the convent; but + you do not suffer as much as you would if you had been born here, and were + entirely dependent on them. They fear that your friends may sometime look + after you; and, in case they are compelled to grant them an interview, + they would wish them to find you in good health and contented; but if you + had no influential friends outside the convent, you would find yourself + much worse off than you are now." + </p> + <p> + She then said she wished she could get some of the brandy from the cellar. + Her stomach was so weak from long fasting, it would retain neither food or + drink, and she thought the brandy would give it strength. She asked if I + could get it for her. The idea frightened me at first, for I knew that if + caught in doing it, I should be most cruelly punished, yet my sympathy for + her at length overcame my fears, and I resolved to try, whatever might be + the result. I accordingly went up stairs, ostensibly, to see if the + Superior wanted me, but really, to find out where she was, and whether she + would be likely to come down, before I could have time to carry out my + plan. I trembled a little, for I knew that I was guilty of a great + misdemeanor in thus boldly presenting myself to ask if I was wanted; but I + thought it no very great sin to pretend that I thought she called me, for + I was sure my motives were good, whatever they might think of them. I had + been taught that "the end sanctifies the means," and I thought I should + not be too hardly judged by the great searcher of hearts, if, for once, I + applied it in my own way. + </p> + <p> + I knocked gently at the door I had left but a few moments before. It was + opened by the Superior, but she immediately stepped out, and closed it + again, so that I had no opportunity to see what was passing within. She + sternly bade me return to the kitchen, and stay there till she came down; + a command I was quite ready to obey. In the kitchen there was a small + cupboard, called the key cupboard, in which they kept keys of all sizes + belonging to the establishment. They were hung on hooks, each one being + marked with the name of the place to which it belonged. It was easy for me + to find the key to the cellar, and having obtained it, I opened another + cupboard filled with bottles and vials, where I selected one that held + half a pint, placed it in a large pitcher, and hastened down stairs. I + soon found a cask marked "brandy," turned the faucet, and filled the + bottle. But my heart beat violently, and my hand trembled so that I could + not hold it steady, and some of it ran over into the pitcher. It was well + for me that I took this precaution, for if I had spilt it on the stone + floor of the cellar, I should have been detected at once. I ran up stairs + as quickly as possible, and made her drink what I had in the pitcher, + though there was more of it than I should have given her under other + circumstances; but I did not know what to do with it. If I put it in the + fire, or in the sink, I thought they would certainly smell it, and, there + was no other place, for I was not allowed to go out of doors. I then + replaced the key, washed up my pitcher, and secreted the bottle of brandy + in the waist of the nun's dress. This I could easily do, their dresses + being made with a loose waist, and a large cape worn over them. I then + began to devise some way to destroy the scent in the room. I could smell + it very distinctly, and I knew that the Superior would notice it at once. + After trying various expedients to no purpose, I at length remembered that + I had once seen a dry rag set on fire for a similar purpose. I therefore + took one of the cloths from the sink, and set it on fire, let it burn a + moment, and threw it under the caldron. + </p> + <p> + I was just beginning to congratulate myself on my success, when I saw that + the nun appeared insensible, and about to fall from her chair. I caught + her in my arms, and leaned her back in the chair, but I did not dare to + lay her on the bed, without permission, even if I had strength to do it. I + could only draw her chair to the side of the room, put a stick of wood + under it, and let her head rest against the wall. I was very much + frightened, and for a moment, thought she was dead. She was pale as a + corpse, her eyes closed, and her mouth wide open. Had I really killed her? + What if the Superior should find her thus? I soon found that she was not + dead, for her heart beat regularly, and I began to hope she would get over + it before any one came in. But just as the thought passed my mind, the + door opened and the Superior appeared. Her first words were, "What have + you been burning? What smells so?" I told her there was a cloth about the + sink that I thought unfit for use, and I put it under the caldron. She + then turned towards the nun and asked if she had fainted. I told her that + I did not know, but I thought she was asleep, and if she wished me to + awaken, and assist her to bed, I would do so. To this she consented, and + immediately went up stairs again. Glad as I was of this permission, I + still doubted my ability to do it alone, for I had little, very little + strength; yet I resolved to do my best. It was long, however, before I + could arouse her, or make her comprehend what I said, so entirely were her + senses stupified with the brandy. When at length I succeeded in getting + her upon her feet, she said she was sure she could not walk; but I + encouraged her to help herself as much as possible, told her that I wished + to get her away before any one came in, or we would be certainly found out + and punished. This suggestion awakened her fears, and I at length + succeeded in assisting her to bed. She was soon in a sound sleep, and I + thought my troubles for that time were over. But I was mistaken. In my + fright, I had quite forgotten the brandy in her dress. Somehow the bottle + was cracked, and while she slept, the brandy ran over her clothes. The + Superior saw it, and asked how she obtained it. Too noble minded to expose + me, she said she drew it herself. I heard the Superior talking to a priest + about it, and I thought they were preparing to punish her. I did not know + what she had told them, but I did not think she would expose me, and I + feared, if they punished her again, she would die in their hands. + </p> + <p> + I therefore went to the Superior and told her the truth about it, for I + thought a candid confession on my part might, perchance, procure + forgiveness for the nun, if not for myself. But no; they punished us both; + the nun for telling the lie, and me for getting the brandy. For two hours + they made me stand with a crown of thorns on my head, while they + alternately employed themselves in burning me with hot irons, pinching, + and piercing me with needles, pulling my hair, and striking me with + sticks. All this I bore very well, for I was hurt just enough to make me + angry. + </p> + <p> + When I returned to the kitchen again, the nun was sitting there alone. She + shook her head at me, and by her gestures gave me to understand that some + one was listening. She afterwards informed me that the Superior was + watching us, to see if we would speak to each other when we met. I do not + know how they punished her, but I heard a priest say that she would die if + she suffered much more. Perhaps they thought the loss of that precious + bottle of brandy was punishment enough. But I was glad I got it for her, + for she had one good dose of it, and it did her good; her stomach was + stronger, her appetite better, and in a few weeks she regained her usual + health. + </p> + <p> + One day, while at work as usual, I was called up stairs with the other + nuns to see one die. She lay upon the bed, and looked pale and thin, but I + could see no signs of immediate dissolution. Her voice was strong, and + respiration perfectly natural, the nuns were all assembled in her room to + see her die. Beside her stood a priest, earnestly exhorting her to confess + her sins to him, and threatening her with eternal punishment if she + refused. But she replied, "No, I will not confess to you. If, as you say, + I am really dying, it is with my God I have to do; to him alone will I + confess, for he alone can save." "If you do not confess to me," exclaimed + the priest, "I will give you up to the devil." "Well," said she, "I stand + in no fear of a worse devil than you are, and I am quite willing to leave + you at any time, and try any other place; even hell itself cannot be + worse. I cannot suffer more there than I have here." "Daughter," exclaimed + the priest, with affected sympathy, "must I give you up? How can I see you + go down to perdition? It is not yet too late. Confess your sins and + repent." "I have already confessed my sins to God, and I shall confess to + no one else. He alone can save me." Her manner of saying this was solemn + but very decided. The priest saw that she would not yield to his wishes, + and raising his voice, he exclaimed, "Then let the devil take you." + </p> + <p> + Immediately the door opened, and a figure representing the Roman Catholic + idea of his Satanic Majesty entered the room. He was very black, and + covered with long hair, probably the skin of some wild animal. He had two + long white tusks, two horns on his head, a large cloven foot, and a long + tail that he drew after him on the floor. He looked so frightful, and + recalled to my mind so vividly the figure that I saw at the White Nunnery, + that I was very much frightened; still I did not believe it was really a + supernatural being. I suspected that it was one of the priests dressed up + in that way to frighten us, and I now know that such was the fact. But + what of that? We all feared the priests quite as much as we should the + Evil One himself, even if he should come to us in bodily shape, as they + pretended he had done. Most of the nuns were very much frightened when + they saw that figure walk up to the bedside, taking good care, however, to + avoid the priest, he being so very holy it was impossible for an evil + spirit to go near or even look at him. + </p> + <p> + The priest then ordered us to return to the kitchen, for said he, "The + devil has come for this nun's soul, and will take it with him," As we left + the room I looked around on my companions and wondered if they believed + this absurd story. I longed to ask them what they thought of it, but this + was not allowed. All interchange of thought or feeling being strictly + forbidden, we never ventured to speak without permission when so many of + us were present, for some one was sure to tell of it if the least rule was + broken. + </p> + <p> + I was somewhat surprised at first that we were all sent to the kitchen, as + but few of us were employed there; but we were soon called back again to + look at the corpse. I was inexpressibly shocked at this summons, for I had + not supposed it possible for her to die so soon. But she was dead; and + that was all we could ever know about it. As we stood around the bed, the + priest said she was an example of those in the world called heretics; that + her soul was in misery, and would remain so forever; no masses or prayers + could avail her then, for she could never be prayed out of hell. Sins like + hers could never be forgiven. + </p> + <p> + I continued to work in the kitchen as usual for many months after this + occurrence, and for a few weeks the sick nun was there a great part of the + time. Whenever we were alone, and sure that no one was near, we used to + converse together, and a great comfort it was to us both. I felt that I + had found in her one real friend, to sympathize with me in my grievous + trials, and with whom I could sometimes hold communication without fear of + betrayal. I had proved her, and found her faithful, therefore I did not + fear to trust her. No one can imagine, unless they know by experience, how + much pleasure we enjoyed in the few stolen moments that we spent together. + </p> + <p> + I shall never forget the last conversation I had with her. She came and + sat down where I was assisting another nun to finish a mat. She asked us + if we knew what was going on in the house. "As I came from my room," said + she, "I saw the priests and Superiors running along the halls, and they + appeared so much excited, I thought something must be wrong. As they + passed me, they told me to go to the kitchen, and stay there. What does it + all mean?" Of course we did not know, for we had neither seen or heard + anything unusual. "Well," said she, "they are all so much engaged up + stairs, we can talk a little and not be overheard. I want to know + something about the people in the world. Are they really cruel and + cold-hearted, as the priests say they are? When you was in the world were + they unkind to you?" "On the contrary," I replied, "I would gladly return + to them again if I could get away from the convent. I should not be + treated any worse, at all events, and I shall embrace the-first + opportunity to go back to the world." "That is what I have always thought + since I was old enough to think at all," said she, "and I have resolved a + great many times to get away if possible. I suppose they tell us about the + cruelty in the world just to frighten us, and prevent us from trying to + escape. I am so weak now I do not suppose I could walk out of Montreal + even if I should leave the convent. But if I ever get strong enough, I + shall certainly try to escape from this horrible place. O, I could tell + you things about this convent that would curdle the blood in your veins." + </p> + <p> + The other nun said that she had been once in the world, and every one was + kind to her. "I shall try to get out again, some day," said she, "but we + must keep our resolutions to ourselves, for there is no one here, that we + can trust. Those whom we think our best friends will betray us, if we give + them a chance. I do believe that some of them delight in getting us + punished." + </p> + <p> + The sick nun said, "I have never exposed any one and I never will. I have + the secrets of a great many hid in my breast, that nothing shall ever + extort from me." Here she was interrupted, and soon left the room. I never + saw her again. Whether she was under punishment, or was so fortunate as to + make her escape, I do not know. As no questions could be asked, it was + very little we could know of each other. If one of our number escaped, the + fact was carefully concealed from the rest, and if she was caught and + brought back, no one ever knew it, except those who had charge of her. The + other nun who worked in the room with me, watched me very closely. Having + heard me declare my intention to leave the first opportunity, she + determined to go with me if possible. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0011" id="link2HCH0011"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XI. — THE JOY OF FREEDOM. + </h2> + <p> + At length the long sought opportunity arrived, and with the most extatic + joy we fled from the nunnery. The girl I have before mentioned, who wished + to go with me, and another nun, with whom I had no acquaintance, were left + in the kitchen to assist me, in taking charge of the cooking, while the + rest of the people were at mass in the chapel. A chance presented for us + to get away, and we all fled together, leaving the cooking to take care of + itself. We were assisted to get out of the yard, but how, or by whom, I + can never reveal. Death, in its most terrible form would be the punishment + for such an act of kindness, and knowing this, it would be the basest + ingratitude for me to name the individual who so kindly assisted us in our + perilous undertaking. + </p> + <p> + How well do I remember the emotions that thrilled my soul when I found + myself safely outside the walls of that fearful prison! The joy of freedom—the + hope of ultimate success—the fear of being overtaken, and dragged + back to misery or death, were considerations sufficiently exciting to + agitate our spirits, and lend fleetness to our steps. With trembling + limbs, and throbbing hearts we fled towards the St. Lawrence river. + Following the tow-path, we hastened on for a few miles, when one of the + nuns became exhausted, and said she could go no further. She was very weak + when we started, and the excitement and fatigue produced serious illness. + What should we do with her? We could not take her along with us, and if we + stopped with her, we might all be taken and carried back. Must we leave + her by the way-side? It was a fearful alternative, but what else could we + do? With sad hearts we took her to a shed near by, and there we left her + to her fate, whatever it might be; perchance to die there alone, or what + was still worse, be carried back to the convent. It was indeed, a + sorrowful parting, and we wept bitter tears together, as we bade her a + last farewell. I never saw or heard from her again. + </p> + <p> + We pursued our way along the tow-path for a short distance, when the canal + boat came along. We asked permission to go upon the boat, and the captain + kindly granted it, but desired us to be very still. He carried us twelve + miles, and then proposed to leave us, as he exposed himself to a heavy + fine by carrying us without a pass, and unattended by a priest or + Superior. We begged him to take us as far as he went with the boat, and + frankly told him our situation. Having no money to offer, we could only + cast ourselves on his mercy, and implore his pity and assistance. He + consented to take us as far as the village of Beauharnois, and there he + left us. He did not dare take us further, lest some one might be watching + for us, and find us on his boat. + </p> + <p> + It was five o'clock in the morning when we left the boat, but it was a + Roman Catholic village, and we did not dare to stop. All that day we + pursued our way without food or drink, and at night we were tired and + hungry. Arriving at a small village, we ventured to stop at the most + respectable looking house, and asked the woman if she could keep us over + night. She looked at us very attentively and said she could not. We did + not dare to call again, for we knew that we were surrounded by those who + would think they were doing a good work to deliver us up to the priests. + Darkness came over the earth, but still weary and sleepy as we were, we + pursued our lonely way. I will not repeat our bitter reflections upon a + cold hearted world, but the reader will readily imagine what they were. + </p> + <p> + Late in the evening, we came to an old barn. I think it must have been + four or five miles from the village. There was no house, or other building + near it, and as no person was in sight, we ventured to enter. Here, to our + great joy, we found a quantity of clean straw, with which we soon prepared + a comfortable bed, where we could enjoy the luxury of repose. We slept + quietly through the night, and at the early dawn awoke, refreshed and + encouraged, but O, so hungry! Gladly would we have eaten anything in the + shape of food, but nothing could we find. + </p> + <p> + The morning star was yet shining brightly above us, as we again started on + our journey. At length our hearts were cheered by the sight of a village. + The first house we came to stood at some distance from the other + buildings, and we saw two women in a yard milking cows. We called at the + door, and asked the lady for some milk. "O yes," said she, with a sweet + smile, "come in, and rest awhile, and you shall have all you want." She + thought we were Sisters of Charity, for they often go about visiting the + sick, and praying with the people. It is considered a very meritorious act + to render them assistance, and speed them on their way; but to help a + runaway nun is to commit a crime of sufficient magnitude to draw down the + anathema of the church. Therefore, while we carefully concealed our real + character, we gratefully accepted the aid we so much needed, but which, we + were sure, would have been withheld had she known to whom it was offered. + After waiting till the cows were milked, and she had finished her own + breakfast, she filled a large earthen pan with bread and milk, gave each + of us a spoon, and we ate as much as we wished. As we arose to depart, she + gave each of us a large piece of bread to carry with us, and asked us to + pray with her. We accordingly knelt in prayer; implored heaven's blessing + on her household, and then took our leave of this kind lady, never more to + meet her on earth; but she will never be forgotten. + </p> + <p> + That day we traveled a long distance, at least, so it seemed to us. When + nearly overcome with fatigue, we saw from the tow-path an island in the + river, and upon it a small house. Near the shore a man stood beside a + canoe. We made signs to him to come to us, and he immediately sprang into + his canoe and came over. We asked him to take us to the island, and he + cheerfully granted our request, but said we must sit very still, or we + would find ourselves in the water. I did not wonder he thought so, for the + canoe was very small, and the weight of three persons sank it almost even + with the surface of the river, while the least motion would cause it to + roll from side to side, so that we really felt that we were in danger of a + very uncomfortable bath if nothing worse. + </p> + <p> + We landed safely, however, and were kindly welcomed by the Indian family + in the house. Six squaws were sitting on the floor, some of them smoking, + others making shoes and baskets. They were very gayly dressed, their + skirts handsomely embroidered with beads and silk of various colors. One + of the girls seemed very intelligent, and conversed fluently in the + English language which she spoke correctly. But she did not look at all + like an Indian, having red hair and a lighter skin than the others. She + was the only one in the family that I could converse with, as the rest of + them spoke only their native dialect; but the nun who was with me could + speak both French and Indian. + </p> + <p> + They treated us with great kindness, gave us food, and invited in to stay + and live with them; said we could be very happy there, and to induce us to + remain, they informed us that the village we saw on the other side of the + river, called St. Regis, was inhabited by Indians, but they were all Roman + Catholics. They had a priest, and a church where we could go to Mass every + Sabbath. Little did they imagine that we were fleeing for life from the + Romish priests; that so far from being an inducement to remain with them, + this information was the very thing to send us on our way with all + possible speed. We did not dare to stay, for I knew full well that if any + one who had seen us went to confession, they would be obliged to give + information of our movements; and if one priest heard of us, he would + immediately telegraph to all the priests in the United States and Canada, + and we should be watched on every side. Escape would then be nearly + impossible, therefore we gently, but firmly refused to accept the + hospitality of these good people, and hastened to bid them farewell. + </p> + <p> + I asked the girl how far it was to the United States. She said it was two + miles to Hogansburg, and that was in the States. We then asked the man to + take us in his canoe to the village of St. Regis on the other side of the + river. He consented, but, I thought, with some reluctance, and before he + allowed us to land, he conversed some minutes with the Indians who met him + on the shore. We could not hear what they said, but my fears were at once + awakened. I thought they suspected us, and if so, we were lost. But the + man came back at length, and, assisted us from the boat. If he had any + suspicions he kept them to himself. + </p> + <p> + Soon after we reached the shore I met a man, of whom I enquired when a + boat would start for Hogansburg. He gazed at us a moment, and then pointed + to five boats out in the river, and said those were the last to go that + day. They were then ready to start, and waited only for the tow-boat to + take them along. But they were so far away we could not get to them, even + if we dared risk ourselves among so many passengers. What could we do? To + stay there over night, was not to be thought of for a moment. We were sure + to be taken, and carried back, if we ventured to try it. Yet there was but + one alternative; either remain there till the next day, or try to get a + passage on the tow-boat. It did not take me a long time to decide for + myself, and I told the nun that I should go on, if the captain would take + me! "What! go on the tow-boat!" she exclaimed, "There are no ladies on + that boat, and I do not like to go with so many men." "I am not afraid of + the men," I replied, "if they are not Romanists, and I am resolved to go." + "Do not leave me," she cried, with streaming tears. "I am sure we can get + along better if we keep together, but I dare not go on the boat." "And I + dare not stay here," said I, and so we parted. I to pursue my solitary + way, she to go, I know not whither. I gave her the parting hand, and have + never heard from her since, but I hope she succeeded better than I did, in + her efforts to escape. + </p> + <p> + I went directly to the captain of the boat and asked him if he could carry + me to the States. He said he should go as far as Ogdensburg, and would + carry me there, if I wished; or he could set me off at some place where he + stopped for wood and water. When I told him I had no money to pay him, he + smiled, and asked if I was a run-a-way. I frankly confessed that I was, + for I thought it was better for me to tell the truth than to try to + deceive. "Well," said the captain, "I will not betray you; but you had + better go to my state-room and stay there." I thanked him, but said I + would rather stay where I was. He then gave me the key to his room, and + advised me to go in and lock the door, "for," said he, "we are not + accustomed to have ladies in this boat, and the men may annoy you. You + will find it more pleasant and comfortable to stay there alone." Truly + grateful for his kindness, and happy to escape from the gaze of the men, I + followed his direction; nor did I leave the room again until I left the + boat. The captain brought me my meals, but did not attempt to enter the + room. There was a small window with a spring on the inside; he would come + and tap on the window, and ask me to raise it, when he would hand me a + waiter on which he had placed a variety of refreshments, and immediately + retire. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0012" id="link2HCH0012"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XII. — STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND. + </h2> + <p> + That night and the next day I suffered all the horrors of sea-sickness; + and those who have known by experience how completely it prostrates the + energies of mind and body, can imagine how I felt on leaving the boat at + night. The kind-hearted captain set me on shore at a place where he left + coal and lumber, a short distance from the village of Ogdensburg. He gave + me twelve and half cents, and expressed regret that he could do no more + for me. He said he could not direct me to a lodging for the night, being a + stranger in the place, and this the first time he had been on that route. + Should this narrative chance to meet his eye, let him know that his kind + and delicate attentions to a stranger in distress, are and ever will be + remembered with the gratitude they so richly merit. It was with evident + reluctance that he left me to make my way onward as I could. + </p> + <p> + And now, reader, imagine, if you can, my situation. A stranger in a + strange land, and comparatively a stranger to the whole world—alone + in the darkness of night, not knowing where to seek a shelter or a place + to lay my head; exhausted with sea-sickness until I felt more dead than + alive, it did seem as though it would be a luxury to lie down and die. My + stockings and shoes were all worn out with so much walking, my feet sore, + swollen, and bleeding, and my limbs so stiff and lame that it was only by + the greatest effort that I could step at all. So extreme were my + sufferings, that I stopped more than once before I reached the village, + cast myself upon the cold ground, and thought I could go no further. Not + even the idea of being run over in the darkness by some passing traveller, + had power to keep me on my feet. Then I would rest awhile, and resolve to + try again; and so I hobbled onward. It seemed an age of misery before I + came to any house; but at length my spirits revived at the sight of + brilliant lights through the windows, and the sound of cheerful voices + that fell upon my ear. + </p> + <p> + And now I thought my troubles over for that night at least. But no, when I + asked permission to stay over night, it was coldly refused. Again and + again I called at houses where the people seemed to enjoy all the comforts + and even the luxuries of life; but their comforts were for themselves and + not for a toil-worn traveller like me. This I was made to understand in no + gentle manner; and some of those I called upon were not very particular in + the choice of language. + </p> + <p> + By this time my feet were dreadfully swollen, and O! so sore and stiff, + that every step produced the most intense agony. Is it strange that I felt + as though life was hardly worth preserving? I resolved to call at one + house more, and if again refused, to lie down by the wayside and die. I + accordingly entered the village hotel and asked for the landlady. The + bar-tender gave me a suspicious glance that made me tremble, and asked my + business. I told him my business was with the landlady and no other + person. He left the room a moment, and then conducted me to her chamber. + </p> + <p> + As I entered a lady came forward to meet me, and the pleasant expression + of her countenance at once won my confidence. She gave me a cordial + welcome, saying, with a smile, as she led me to a seat, "I guess, my dear, + you are a run-a-way, are you not?" I confessed that it was even so; that I + had fled from priestly cruelty, had travelled as far as I could, and now, + weary, sick, and faint from long fasting, I had ventured to cast myself + upon her mercy. "Will you protect me?" I asked, "and are you a Roman + Catholic?" "No," she replied, "I am not a Roman Catholic, and I will + protect you. You seem to have suffered much, and are quite exhausted. But + you will find a friend in me. I will not betray you, for I dislike the + priests and the convents as much as you do." + </p> + <p> + She then called her little girl, and ordered a fire kindled in another + chamber, saying she did not wish her servants to see me. The child soon + returned, when the lady herself conducted me to a large, pleasant + bed-room, handsomely furnished with every convenience, and a fire in the + grate. She gave me a seat in a large easy-chair before the fire, and went + out, locking the door after her. In a short time she returned with warm + water for a bath, and with her own hands gave me all the assistance + needed. As I related the incidents of the day, she expressed much sympathy + for my sufferings, and said she was glad I had come to her. She gave, me a + cordial, and then brought me a cup of tea and other refreshments, of which + I made a hearty supper. She would not allow me to eat all I wished; but + when I had taken as much as was good for me, she bathed my feet with a + healing wash, and assisted me to bed. O, the luxury of that soft and + comfortable bed! No one can realize with what a keen sense of enjoyment I + laid my head upon those downy pillows, unless they have suffered as I did, + and known by experience the sweetness of repose after excessive toil. + </p> + <p> + All that night this good lady sat beside my bed, and kept my feet wet in + order to reduce the swelling. I was little inclined to sleep, and at her + request related some of the events of my convent life. While doing this, I + hardly knew what to make of this curious woman. Sometimes she would weep, + and then she would swear like any pirate. I was surprised and somewhat + afraid of her, she seemed so strange and used such peculiar language. She + understood my feelings at once, and immediately said, "You need not be + afraid of me, for I have a kind heart, if I do use wicked words. I cannot + help swearing when I think about the priests, monsters of iniquity that + they are; what fearful crimes they do commit under the cloak of religion! + O, if the people of this land could but see their real character, they + would rise en masse and drive them from the country, whose liberties they + will, if possible, destroy. For myself I have good cause to hate them. + Shall I tell you my story, dear?" I begged her to do so, which she did, as + follows: + </p> + <p> + "I once had a sister, young, talented, beautiful, amiable and + affectionate. She was the pride of all our family, the idol of our souls. + She wished for an education, and we gladly granted her request. In our + zeal to serve her, we resolved to give her the very best advantages, and + so we sent her to a Romish school. It was a seminary for young ladies + taught by nuns, and was the most popular one in that part of the country. + My father, like many other parents who knew such establishments only by + report, had not the least idea of its true character. But deluded by the + supposed sanctity of the place, he was happy in the thought that he had + left his darling where it was said that 'science and religion go hand in + hand.' For a season, all went on well. She wrote to us that she was + pleased with the school, and wished to remain. We thought her hand writing + wonderfully improved, and eagerly looked forward to the time when she + would return to us a finished scholar, as well as an accomplished lady. + But those pleasant prospects were soon overcast. Too soon, our happy, + bounding hearts were hushed by unspeakable grief, and our brilliant + anticipations were dissipated in the chamber of death. In their place came + those solemn realities, the shroud, the coffin, the hearse and the tomb." + </p> + <p> + "Did she die?" I asked. "Yes," replied the lady, as she wiped away the + fast flowing tears; "Yes, she died. I believe she was poisoned, but we + could do nothing; we had no proof." She had been long at school before we + suspected the deception that was practised upon us. But at length I went + with my other sister to see her, and the Superior informed us that she was + ill, and could not see us. We proposed going to her room, but to our great + surprise were assured that such a thing could not be allowed. We left with + sad hearts, and soon called again. I cannot describe my feelings when we + were coldly informed that she did not wish to see us. What could it mean? + Surely something must be wrong; and we left with terrible presentiments of + coming evil. It came. Yes, too soon were our worst fears realized. I + called one day resolved to see her before I left the house. Conceive, if + you can, my surprise and horror, when they told me that my beautiful, + idolized sister had resolved to become a nun. That she had already + renounced the world, and would hold no further communication with her + relatives. "Why did I not know this before? I exclaimed." "You know it + now," was the cold reply. I did not believe a word of it, and when I told + my father what they said, he went to them, and resolutely demanded his + child. At first they refused to give her up, but when they saw that his + high spirit was aroused—that he would not be flattered or deceived, + they reluctantly yielded to his demand." + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0013" id="link2HCH0013"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIII. — LANDLADY'S STORY CONTINUED. + </h2> + <p> + The poor girl was overjoyed to meet her friends again, but how great was + our astonishment and indignation when she informed us that she had never + received a single line from home after she entered the school, nor did she + ever know that we had called to see her until we informed her of the fact. + Whenever she expressed surprise that she did not hear from us, they told + her that we had probably forgotten her, and strove to awaken in her mind + feelings of indignation, suspicion and animosity. Not succeeding in this, + however, they informed her that her father had called, and expressed a + wish that she should become a nun; that he did not think it best for her + to return home again, nor did he even ask for a parting interview. + </p> + <p> + Confounded and utterly heart-broken, she would have given herself up to + uncontrollable grief had she been allowed to indulge her feelings. But + even the luxury of tears was forbidden, and she was compelled to assume an + appearance of cheerfulness, and to smile when her heart-strings were + breaking. We brought forward the letters we had received from time to time + which we believed she had written. She had never seen them, before, "and + this," said she, "is not my hand-writing." Of this fact she soon convinced + us, but she said she had written letter after letter hoping for an answer, + but no answer came. She said she knew that the Superior examined all the + letters written by the young ladies, but supposed they were always sent, + after being read. But it was now plain to be seen that those letters were + destroyed, and others substituted in their place. + </p> + <p> + [Footnote: Raffaele Ciocci, formerly a Benedictine Monk, in his + "Narrative," published by the American and Foreign Christian Union, + relates a similar experience of his own, when in the Papal College of San + Bernardo. + </p> + <p> + Being urged to sign "a deed of humility," in which he was to renounce all + his property and give it to the college, he says, "I knew not what to + think of this "deed of humility." A thousand misgivings filled my mind, + and hoping to receive from the notary an explanation that would assist me + in fully comprehending its intention, I anxiously said, "I must request, + sir, that you will inform me what is expected from me. Tell me what is + this deed—whether it be really a mere form, as has been represented + to me, or if"—Here the master arose, and in an imperious tone + interrupted me, saying,—"Do not be obstinate and rebellions, but + obey. I have already told you that when you assume the habit of the Order, + the chapter 'de humititate' shall be explained to you. In this paper you + have only to make a renunciation of all you possess on earth." + </p> + <p> + "Of all I possess! And if I renounce all, who, when I leave the college, + will provide for me?" The notary now interposed. "That," said he, "is the + point to which I wish to call your attention, in advising you to make some + reservation. If you neglect to do so, you may find yourself in + difficulties, losing, as you irrevocably will, every right of your own." + At these words, so palpable, so glaring, the bandage fell from my eyes, + and I saw the abyss these monsters were opening under my feet. "This is a + deception, a horrible deception," I exclaimed. "I now understand the 'deed + of humility,' but I protest I will not sign it, I will have nothing more + to do with it." * * * After spending two or three hours in bitterness and + woe, I resolved to have recourse to my family. For this purpose I wrote a + long letter to my mother, in which I exposed all the miseries of my heart, + related what had taken place with regard to the "deed of humility," and + begged of her consolation and advice. I gave the letter into the hands of + a servant, and on the following morning received a reply, in which I was + told, in gentle, terms, to be tranquil,—not to resist the wishes of + my directors,—sign unhesitatingly any paper that might be required, + for, when my studies were completed, and I quitted the college, the + validity of these forms would cease. This letter set all my doubts at + rest, and restored peace to my mind. It was written by my mother, and she, + I felt assured, would never deceive me. How could I for one moment imagine + that this epistle was an invention of my enemies, who imitated the + hand-writing and affectionate style of my mother? Some persons will say, + you might have suspected it. * * * I reply, that in the uprightness of my + heart, I could not conceive such atrocious wickedness; it appeared utterly + irreconcilable with the sanctity of the place, and with the venerable + hoariness of persons dedicated to God. + </p> + <p> + After perusing the letter, I hastened to the master, declaring my + readiness to sign the "deed of humility." He smiled approvingly on finding + how well his plan had succeeded. The notary and witnesses were again + summoned, and my condemnation written. The good notary, however, pitying + my situation, inserted an exceptional clause to the total relinquishment + of my rights. * * * No sooner was this business concluded, than the master + commanded me to write to my parents, to inform them that I had signed the + deed of renunciation, and was willing, for the benefit of my soul, to + assume the monkish habit. He was present when I wrote this letter; I was, + therefore, obliged to adopt the phrases suggested by him,—phrases, + breathing zeal and devotion; full of indifference to the world, and + tranquil satisfaction at the choice I had made. My parents, thought I, + will be astonished when they read this epistle, but they must perceive + that the language is not mine, so little is it in accordance with my + former style of writing. + </p> + <p> + Reader, in the course of thirteen months, only one, of from fifty to sixty + letters which I addressed to my mother, was ever received by her, and that + one was this very letter. The monks, instead of forwarding mine, had + forged letters imitating the hand-writing, and adopting a style suited to + their purpose; and instead of consigning to me the genuine replies, they + artfully substituted answers of their own fabrication. My family, + therefore, were not surprised at the tenor of this epistle, but rejoiced + over it, and reputed me already a Saint. They probably pictured me to + themselves, on some future day, with a mitre on my head—with the red + cap—nay, perhaps, even wearing the triple crown. Oh, what a + delusion! Poor deceived parents! You knew not that your son, in anguish + and despair, was clashing his chains, and devouring his tears in secret; + that a triple bandage was placed before his eyes, and that he was being + dragged, an unwilling victim, to the sacrifice." Returning home soon + after, Ciocci rushed to his mother, and asked if she had his letters. + They, were produced; when he found that only one had been written by him. + The rest were forgeries of the masters.] + </p> + <p> + "It follows then," said my father, "that these letters are forgeries, and + the excuses they have so often made are base falsehoods. A teacher of the + religion of Jesus Christ guilty of lying and forgery! 'O, my soul come not + thou into their secret; unto their assembly mine honor be thou not + united.'" + </p> + <p> + "But we have our darling home again," said I, "and now we shall keep her + with us." Never shall I forget the sweet, sad smile that came over her + pale face as I uttered these words. Perchance, even then she realized that + she was soon to leave us, never more to return. However this may be, she + gradually declined. Slowly, but surely she went down to the grave. Every + remedy was tried—every measure resorted to, that seemed to promise + relief, but all in vain. We had the best physicians, but they frankly + confessed that they did not understand her disease. In a very few months + after her return, we laid our lovely and beloved sister beneath the clods + of the valley. Our good old physician wept as he gazed upon her cold + remains. I believe he thought she was poisoned, but as he could not prove + it, he would only have injured himself by saying so. As for myself, I + always thought that she knew too many of their secrets to be allowed to + live after leaving them. "And now, dear," she continued, "do you think it + strange that I hate the Romanists? Do you wonder if I feel like swearing + when I think of priests and convents?" + </p> + <p> + Truly, I did not wonder that she hated them, though I could not understand + what benefit it could be to swear about it; but I did not doubt the truth + of her story. How often, in the convent from which I fled, had I heard + them exult over the success of some deep laid scheme to entrap the + ignorant, the innocent and the unwary! If a girl was rich or handsome, as + sure as she entered their school, so sure was she to become a nun, unless + she had influential friends to look after her and resolutely prevent it. + To effect this, no means were left untried. The grossest hypocricy, and + the meanest deception were practised to prevent a girl from holding + communication with any one out of the convent No matter how lonely, or how + homesick she might feel, she was not allowed to see her friends, or even + to be informed of their kind attentions. So far from this, she was made to + believe, if possible, that her relatives had quite forsaken her, while + these very relatives were boldly informed that she did not wish to see + them. If they wrote to their friends, as they sometimes did, their letters + were always destroyed, while those received at home were invariably + written by the priest or Superior. These remarks, however, refer only to + those who are rich, or beautiful in person. Many a girl can say with truth + that she has attended the convent school, and no effort was ever made—no + inducement ever presented to persuade her to become a nun. Consequently, + she says that stories like the above are mere falsehoods, reported to + injure the school. This may be true so far as she is concerned, but you + may be sure she has neither riches nor beauty, or if possessed of these, + there was some other strong reason why she should be an exception to the + general rule. Could she know the private history of some of her + school-mates, she would tell a different story. + </p> + <p> + I remember that while in the convent, I was one day sent up stairs to + assist a Superior in a chamber remote from the kitchen, and in a part of + the house where I had never been before. Returning alone to the kitchen, I + passed a door that was partly open, and hearing a slight groan within, I + pushed open the door and looked in, before I thought what I was doing. A + young girl lay upon a bed, who looked more like a corpse than a living + person. She saw me, and motioned to have me come to her. + </p> + <p> + As I drew near the bed, she burst into tears, and whispered, "Can't you + get me a drink of cold water?" I told her I did not know, but I would try. + I hastened to the kitchen, and as no one was present but a nun whom I did + not fear, I procured a pitcher of water, and went back with it without + meeting any one on the way. I was well aware that if seen, I should be + punished, but I did not care. I was doing as I would wish others to do to + me, and truly, I had my reward. Never shall I forget how grateful that + poor sufferer was for a draught of cold water. She could not tell how many + days she had been fasting, for some of the time she had been insensible; + but it must have been several days, and she did not know how long she was + to remain in that condition. + </p> + <p> + "How came you here?" I asked, in a whisper; "and what have you done to + induce them to punish you so?" "O," said she, with a burst of tears, and + grasping my hand with her pale, cold fingers, "I was in the school, and I + thought it would be so nice to be a nun! Then my father died and left me + all his property, and they persuaded me to stay here, and give it all to + the church. I was so sad then I did not care for money, and I had no idea + what a place it is. I really thought that the nuns were pure and holy—that + their lives were devoted to heaven, their efforts consecrated to the cause + of truth and righteousness. I thought that this was indeed the 'house of + God,' the very 'gate of heaven.' But as soon as they were sure of me, they + let me know—but you understand me; you know what I mean?" I nodded + assent, and once more asked, "What did you do?" "O, I was in the school," + said she, "and I knew that a friend of mine was coming here just as I did; + and I could not bear to see her, in all her loveliness and unsuspecting + innocence, become a victim to these vile priests. I found an opportunity + to let her know what a hell she was coming to. 'Twas an unpardonable sin, + you see. I had robbed the church—committed sacrilege, they said—and + they have almost killed me for it. I wish they would QUITE, for I am sure + death has no terrors for me now. God will never punish me for what I have + done. But go; don't stay any longer; they'll kill you if they catch you + here." I knew that she had spoken truly—they WOULD kill me, almost, + if not quite, if they found me there; but I must know a little more. "Did + you save your friend?" I asked, "or did you both have to suffer, to pay + for your generous act?" "Did I save her? Yes, thank God, I did. She did + not come, and she promised not to tell of me. I don't think she did; but + they managed to find it out, I don't know how; and now—O God, let me + die!" I was obliged to go, and I left her, with a promise to carry her + some bread if I could. But I could not, and I never saw her again. Yet + what a history her few words unfolded! It was so much like the landlady's + story, I could not forbear relating it to her. She seemed much interested + in all my convent adventures; and in this way we spent the night. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0014" id="link2HCH0014"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIV. — THE TWO SISTERS. + </h2> + <p> + Next morning the lady informed me that I could not remain with her in + safety, but she had a sister, who lived about half a mile distant, with + whom I could stop until my feet were sufficiently healed to enable me to + resume my journey. She then sent for her sister, who very kindly, as I + then thought, acceded to her request, and said I was welcome to stay with + her as long as I wished. Arrangements were therefore made at once for my + removal. My kind hostess brought two large buffalo robes into my chamber, + which she wrapped around my person in such a way as to shield me from the + observation of the servants. She then called one whom she could trust, and + bade him take up the bundle and carry it down to a large covered wagon + that stood at the door. I have often wondered whether the man knew what + was in that bundle or not. I do not think he did, for he threw me across + his shoulder as he would any bale of merchandise, and laid me on the + bottom of the carriage. The two ladies then entered, laughing heartily at + the success of their ruse, and joking me about my novel mode of + conveyance. In this manner we were driven to the sister's residence, and I + was carried into the house by the servants, in the same way. The landlady + stopped for a few moments, and when she left she gave me cloth for a new + dress, a few other articles of clothing, and three dollars in money. She + bade me stay there and make my dress, and on no account venture out again + in my nun dress. She wished me success in my efforts to escape, commended + me to the care of our heavenly Father, and bade me farewell. She returned + in the wagon alone, and left me to make the acquaintance of my new + hostess. + </p> + <p> + This lady was a very different woman from her sister, and I soon had + reason to regret that I was in her power. It has been suggested to me that + the two ladies acted in concert; that I was removed for the sole purpose + of being betrayed into the hands of my enemies. But I am not willing to + believe this. Dark as human nature appears to me—accustomed as I am + to regard almost every one with suspicion—still I cannot for one + moment cherish a thought so injurious to one who was so kind to me. Is it + possible that she could be such a hypocrite? Treat me with so much + tenderness, and I might say affection, and then give me up to what was + worse than death? No; whatever the reader may think about it, I can never + believe her guilty of such perfidy. I regret exceedingly my inability to + give the name of this lady in connection with the history of her good + deeds, but I did not learn the name of either sister. The one to whom I + was now indebted for a shelter seemed altogether careless of my interests. + I had been with her but a few hours when she asked me to do some washing + for her. Of course I was glad to do it; but when she requested me to go + into the yard and hang the clothes upon the line, I became somewhat + alarmed. I did not like to do it, and told her so; but she laughed at my + fears, overruled all my objections, said no one in that place would seek + to harm or to betray me, and assured me there was not the least danger. I + at last consented to go, though my reason, judgment, and inclination, had + I followed their dictates, would have kept me in the house. But I did not + like to appear ungrateful, or unwilling to repay the kindness I received, + as far as I was able; still I could not help feeling that it was an + ungenerous demand. She might at least have offered me a bonnet or a shawl, + as a partial disguise; but she did nothing of the kind. + </p> + <p> + When I saw that I could not avoid the exposure I resolved to make the best + of it and get through as quickly, as possible; but my dress attracted a + good deal of attention, and I saw more than one suspicious glance directed + towards me before my task was finished. When it was over I thought no more + about it, but gave myself up to the bright anticipations of future + happiness, which now began to take possession of my mind. + </p> + <p> + That night I retired to a comfortable bed, and was soon lost to all + earthly cares in the glorious land of dreams. What unalloyed happiness I + enjoyed that night! what impossible feats I performed! Truly, the vision + was bright, but a sad awaking followed. Some time in the night I was + aroused by the flashing of a bright light from a dark lantern suddenly + opened. I attempted to rise, but before I could realize where I was, a + strong hand seized me and a gag was thrust into my mouth. The man + attempted to take me in his arms, but with my hands and feet I defended + myself to the best of my ability. Another man now came to his assistance, + and with strong cords confined my hands and feet, so that I was entirely + at their mercy. Perfectly helpless, I could neither resist nor call for + help. They then took me up and carried me down stairs, with no clothing + but my night-dress, not even a shawl to shield me from the cold night air. + </p> + <p> + At the gate stood a long covered wagon, in form like a butchers cart, + drawn by two horses, and beside it a long box with several men standing + around it. I had only time to observe this, when they thrust me into the + box, closed the lid, placed it in the wagon, and drove rapidly away. I + could not doubt for a moment into whose hands I had fallen, and when they + put me into the box, I wished I might suffocate, and thus end my misery at + once. But they had taken good care to prevent this by boring holes in the + box, which admitted air enough to keep up respiration. And this was the + result of all my efforts for freedom! After all I had suffered in making + my escape, it was a terrible disappointment to be thus cruelly betrayed, + gagged, bound, and boxed up like an article of merchandise, carried back + to certain torture, and perchance to death. O, blame me not, gentle + reader, if in my haste, and the bitter disappointment and anguish of my + spirit, I questioned the justice of the power that rules the world. Nor + let your virtuous indignation wax hot against me if I confess to you, that + I even doubted the existence of that power. How often had I cried to God + for help! Why were my prayers and tears disregarded? What had I done to + deserve such a fife of misery? These, and similar thoughts occupied my + mind during that lonely midnight ride. + </p> + <p> + We arrived at St. Regis before the first Mass in the morning. The box was + then taken into the chapel, where they took me out and carried me into the + church. I was seated at the foot of the altar, with my hands and feet fast + bound, the gag still in my mouth, and no clothing on, but my night-dress. + Two men stood beside me, and I remained here until the priest had said + mass and the people retired from the church. He then came down from the + altar, and said to the men beside me, "Well, you have got her." "Yes Sir," + they replied, "what shall we do with her?" "Put her on the five o'clock + boat," said he, "and let the other men go with her to Montreal. I want you + to stay here, and be ready to go the other way tonight" This priest was an + Indian, but he spoke the English language correctly and fluently. He + seemed to feel some pity for my forlorn condition, and as they were about + to carry me away he brought a large shawl, and wrapped it around me, for + which I was truly grateful. + </p> + <p> + At the appointed time, I was taken on board the boat, watched very closely + by the two men who had me in charge. There was need enough of this, for I + would very gladly have thrown myself into the water, had I not been + prevented. Once and again I attempted it, but the men held me back. For + this, I am now thankful, but at that time my life appeared of so little + importance, and the punishments I knew were in reserve for me seemed so + fearful, I voluntarily chose "strangling and death rather than life." The + captain and sailors were all Romanists, and seemed to vie with each other + in making me as unhappy as possible They made sport of my "new fashioned + clothing," and asked if I "did not wish to run away again?" When they + found I did not notice them they used the most abusive and scurrilous + language, mingled with vulgar and profane expressions, which may not be + repeated. The men who had charge of me, and who should have protected me + from such abuse, so far from doing it, joined in the laugh, and appeared + to think it a pleasant amusement to ridicule and vex a poor helpless + fugitive. May God forgive them for their cruelty, and in the hour of their + greatest need, may they meet with the kindness they refused to me. + </p> + <p> + At Lachine we changed boats and took another to Montreal. When we arrived + there, three priests were waiting for us. Their names I perfectly + remember, but I am not sure that I can spell them correctly. Having never + learned while in the nunnery, to read, or spell anything except a simple + prayer, it is not strange if I do make mistakes, when attempting to give + names from memory. I can only give them as they were pronounced. They were + called Father Kelly, Dow, and Conroy. All the priests were called father, + of whatever age they might be. + </p> + <p> + As we proceeded from the boat to the Nunnery, one of the priests went + before us while the others walked beside me, leading me between them. + People gazed at us as we passed, but they did not dare to insult, or laugh + at me, while in such respectable company. Yet, methinks it must have been + a ludicrous sight to witness so much parade for a poor run-a-way nun. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0015" id="link2HCH0015"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XV. — CHOICE OF PUNISHMENTS. + </h2> + <p> + On our arrival at the Nunnery, I was left alone for half an hour. Then the + Bishop came in with the Lady Superior, and the Abbess who had charge of + the kitchen when I left. The Bishop read to me three punishments of which + he said, I could take my choice. First.—To fast five days in the + fasting room. Second.—To suffer punishment in the lime room. Third.—To + fast four days, in the cell. As I knew nothing of these places except the + cell, a priest was directed to take me to them, that I might see for + myself, and then take my choice. At first, I thought I did not care, and I + said I had no choice about it; but when I came to see the rooms, I was + thankful that I was not allowed to abide by that decision. Certainly, I + had no idea what was before me. + </p> + <p> + I was blindfolded, and taken to the lime room first. I think it must have + been situated at a great distance from the room we left, for he led me + down several flights of stairs, and through long, low passages, where it + was impossible to stand erect. At length we entered a room where the + atmosphere seemed laden with hot vapor. My blinder was removed, and I + found myself in a pleasant room some fifteen feet square. There was no + furniture of any kind, but a wide bench, fastened to the wall, extended + round three sides of the room. The floor looked like one solid block of + dark colored marble; not a crack or seam to be seen in it, but it was + clouded, highly polished, and very beautiful. Around the sides of the + room, a great number of hooks and chains were fastened to the wall, and a + large hook hung in the center overhead. Near the door stood two men, with + long iron bars, some two inches square, on their shoulders. + </p> + <p> + The priest directed me to stand upon the bench, and turning to the men, he + bade them raise the door. They put down their bars, and I suppose touched + a concealed spring, for the whole floor at once flew up, and fastened to + the large hook over head. Surprised and terrified, I stood wondering what + was to come next. At my feet yawned a deep pit, from which, arose a + suffocating vapor, so hot, it almost scorched my face and nearly stopped + my breath. The priest pointed to the heaving, tumbling billows of smoke + that were rolling below, and; asked, "How would you like to be thrown into + the lime?" "Not at all," I gasped, in a voice scarcely audible, "it would + burn me to death." I suppose he thought I was sufficiently frightened, for + he bade his men close the door. This they did by slowly letting down the + floor, and I could see that it was in some way supported by the chains + attached to the walls but in what manner I do not know. + </p> + <p> + I was nearly suffocated by the lime smoke that filled the room, and though + I knew not what was in reserve for me, I was glad when my blinder was put + on, and I was led away. I think we returned the same way we came, and + entered another room where the scent was so very offensive, that I begged + to be taken out immediately. Even before my eyes were uncovered, and I + knew nothing of the loathsome objects by which we were surrounded, I felt + that I could not endure to breathe an atmosphere so deadly. But the sight + that met my eyes when my blinder was removed, I cannot describe, nor the + sensations with which I gazed upon it. I can only give the reader some + faint idea of the place, which, they said, was called the fasting room, + and here incorrigible offenders fasted until they starved to death. Nor + was this all. Their dead bodies were not even allowed a decent burial, but + were suffered to remain in the place where they died, until the work of + death was complete and dust returned to dust. Thus the atmosphere became a + deadly poison to the next poor victim who was left to breathe the noxious + effluvia of corruption and decay. I am well aware that my reader will + hardly credit my statements, but I do solemnly affirm that I relate + nothing but the truth. In this room were placed several large iron + kettles, so deep that a person could sit in them, and many of them + contained the remains of human beings. In one the corpse looked as though + it had been dead but a short time. Others still sat erect in the kettle, + but the flesh was dropping from the bones. Every stage of decay was here + represented, from the commencement, till nothing but a pile of bones was + left of the poor sufferer. + </p> + <p> + Conceive, if you can, with what feelings I gazed upon these disgusting + relics of the dead. Even now, my blood chills in my veins, as memory + recalls the fearful sight, or as, in sleep, I live over again the dread + realities of that hour. Was I to meet a fate like this? I might, + perchance, escape it for that time, but what assurance had I that I was + not ultimately destined to such an end? These thoughts filled my mind, as + I followed the priest from the room; and for a long time I continued to + speculate upon what I had seen. They called it the fasting room; but if + fasting were the only object, why were they placed in those kettles, + instead of being allowed to sit on chairs or benches, or even on the + floor? And why placed in IRON kettles? Why were they not made of wood? It + would have answered the purpose quite as well, if fasting or starvation + were the only objects in view. Then came the fearful suggestion, were + these kettles ever heated? And was that floor made of stone or iron? The + thought was too shocking to be cherished for a moment; but I could not + drive it from my mind. + </p> + <p> + I was again blindfolded, and taken to a place they called a cell. But it + was quite different from the one I was in before. We descended several + steps as we entered it, and instead of the darkness I anticipated, I found + myself in a large room with sufficient light to enable me to see every + object distinctly. One end of a long chain was fastened around my waist, + and the other firmly secured to an iron ring in the floor; but the chain, + though large and heavy, was long enough to allow me to go all over the + room. I could not see how it was lighted, but it must have been in some + artificial manner, for it was quite as light at night, as in the day. Here + were instruments of various kinds, the use of which, I did not understand; + some of them lying on the floor, others attached to the sides of the room. + One of them was made in the form of a large fish, but of what material I + do not know. It was of a bright flesh color, and fastened to a board on + the floor. If I pressed my foot upon the board, it would put in motion + some machinery within, which caused it to spring forward with a harsh, + jarring sound like the rumbling of the cars. At the same time its eyes + would roll round, and its mouth open, displaying a set of teeth so large + and long that I was glad to keep at a safe distance. I wished to know + whether it would really bite me or not, but it looked so frightful I did + not dare to hazard the experiment. + </p> + <p> + Another so nearly resembled a large serpent, I almost thought it was one; + but I found it moved only when touched in a certain manner. Then it would + roll over, open its mouth, and run out its tongue. There was another that + I cannot describe, for I never saw anything that looked like it. It was + some kind of a machine, and the turning of a crank made it draw together + in such a way, that if a person were once within its embrace, the pressure + would soon arrest the vital current, and stop the breath of life. Around + the walls of the room were chains, rings and hooks, almost innumerable; + but I did not know their use, and feared to touch them. I believed them + all to be instruments of torture, and I thought they gave me a long chain + in the hope and expectation that my curiosity would lead me into some of + the numerous traps the room contained. + </p> + <p> + Every morning the figure I had seen beside the dying nun, which they + called the devil, came to my cell, and unlocking the door himself, + entered, and walked around me, laughing heartily, and seeming much pleased + to find me there. He would blow white froth from his mouth, but he never + spoke to me, and when he went out, he locked the door after him and took + away the key. He was, in fact, very thoughtful and prudent, but it will be + long before I believe that he came as they pretended, from the spirit + world. So far from being frightened, the incident was rather a source of + amusement. Such questions as the following would force themselves upon my + mind. If that image is really the devil, where did he get that key? And + what will he do with it? Does the devil hold the keys of this nunnery, so + that he can come and go as he pleases? Or, are the priests on such + friendly terms with his satanic majesty that they lend him their keys? Or, + do they hold them as partners? Gentlemen of the Grey Nunnery, please tell + us how it is about those keys. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0016" id="link2HCH0016"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVI. — HORRORS OF STARVATION. + </h2> + <p> + One day a woman came into my cell, dressed in white, a white cap on her + head, and so very pale she looked more like a corpse than a living person. + She came up to me with her mouth wide open, and stood gazing at me for a + moment in perfect silence. She then asked, "Where have you been?" "Into + the world," I replied. "How did you like the world?" "Very well," said I. + She paused a moment, and then asked, "Did you find your friends?" "No, + ma'am," said I, "I did not." Another pause, and then she said, "Perhaps + you will if you go again." "No," I replied, "I shall not try again." "You + had better try it once more," she added, and I thought there was a slight + sneer in her tone; "Perhaps you may succeed better another time." "No," I + replied, "I shall not try to run away from the nunnery again. I should + most assuredly be caught and brought back, and then they would make me + suffer so much, I assure you I shall never do it again." She looked at me + a moment as though she would read my very soul, and said, "And so you did + not find your friends, after all, did you?" I again told her that I did + not, and she seemed satisfied with the result of her questioning. When she + came in, I was pleased to see her, and thought I would ask her for + something to eat, or at least for a little cold water. But she seemed so + cold-hearted, so entirely destitute of sympathy or kind feeling, I had no + courage to speak to her, for I felt that it would do no good. Perhaps I + misjudged her. I knew from her looks that she must have been a great + sufferer; but I have heard it said that extreme suffering sometimes + hardens instead of softening the heart, and I believe it. It seemed to me + that this woman had suffered so much herself, that every kind feeling was + crushed out of her soul. I was glad when she left me, locking the door + after her. + </p> + <p> + Four days they kept me in this cell, and for five days and nights I had + not tasted food or drink. I endured the most intolerable agonies from + hunger and thirst. The suffering produced by hunger, when it becomes + actual starvation, is far beyond anything that I can imagine. There is no + other sensation that can be compared to it, and no language can describe + it. One must feel it in order to realize what it is. The first two days I + amused myself by walking round my room and trying to conjecture the use to + which the various instruments were applied. Then I became so weak I could + only think of eating and drinking. I sometimes fell asleep, but only to + dream of loaded tables and luxurious feasts. Yet I could never taste the + luxuries thus presented. Whenever I attempted to do so, they would be + snatched away, or I would wake to find it all a dream. Driven to a perfect + frenzy by the intensity of my sufferings, I would gladly have eaten my own + flesh. Well was it for me that no sharp instrument was at hand, for as a + last resort I more than once attempted to tear open my veins with my + teeth. + </p> + <p> + This severe paroxysm passed away, and I sank into a state of partial + unconsciousness, in which I remained until I was taken out of the cell. I + do not believe I should have lived many hours longer, nor should I ever + have been conscious of much more suffering. With me the "bitterness of + death had passed," and I felt disappointed and almost angry to be recalled + to a life of misery. I begged them to allow me to die. It was the only + boon I craved. But this would have been too merciful; moreover, they did + not care to lose my services in the kitchen. I was a good drudge for them, + and they wished to restore me on the same principle that a farmer would + preserve the life of a valuable horse. + </p> + <p> + I do not remember leaving the cell. The first thing I realized they were + placing me in a chair in the kitchen, and allowed me to lean my head upon + the table. They gave me some gruel, and I soon revived so that I could sit + up in my chair and speak in a whisper. But it was some hours before I + could stand on my feet or speak loud. An Abbess was in the kitchen + preparing bread and wine for the priests (they partake of these + refreshments every day at ten in the morning and three in the afternoon). + She brought a pailful of wine and placed it on the table near me, and left + a glass standing beside it. When she turned away, I took the glass, dipped + up a little of the wine, and drank it. She saw me do it, but said not a + word, and I think she left it there for that purpose. The wine was very + strong, and my stomach so weak, I soon began to feel sick, and asked + permission to go to bed. They took me up in their arms and carried me to + my old room and laid me on the bed. Here they left me, but the Abbess soon + returned with some gruel made very palatable with milk and sugar. I was + weak, and my hand trembled so that I could not feed myself; but the Abbess + kindly sat beside me and fed me until I was satisfied. I had nothing more + to eat until the next day at eleven o'clock, when the Abbess again brought + me some bread and gruel, and a cup of strong tea. She requested me to + drink the tea as quick as possible, and then she concealed the mug in + which she brought it. + </p> + <p> + I was now able to feed myself, and you may be sure I had an excellent + appetite, and was not half so particular about my food as some persons I + have since known. I lay in bed till near night, when I rose, dressed + myself without assistance, and went down to the kitchen. I was so weak and + trembled so that I could hardly manage to get down stairs; but I succeeded + at last, for a strong will is a wonderful incentive to efficient action. + </p> + <p> + In the kitchen I met the Lady Superior. She saw how weak I was, and as she + assisted me to a chair, she said, "I should not have supposed that you + could get down here alone. Have you had anything to eat to-day?" I was + about to say yes, but one of the nuns shook her head at me, and I replied + "No." She then brought some bread and wine, requesting me to eat it quick, + for fear some of the priests might come in and detect us. Thus I saw that + she feared the priests as well as the rest of us. Truly, it was a terrible + crime she had committed! No wonder she was afraid of being caught! Giving + a poor starved nun a piece of bread, and then obliged to conceal it as she + would have done a larceny or a murder! Think of it, reader, and conceive, + if you can, the state of that community where humanity is a crime—where + mercy is considered a weakness of which one should be ashamed! If a pirate + or a highwayman had been guilty of treating a captive as cruelly as I was + treated by those priests, he would have been looked upon as an inhuman + monster, and at once given up to the strong grasp of the law. But when it + is done by a priest, under the cloak of Religion, and within the sacred + precincts of a nunnery, people cry out, when the tale is told, + "Impossible!" "What motive could they have had?" "It cannot be true," etc. + But whether the statement is believed or otherwise, it is a fact that in + the Grey Nunnery at Montreal the least exhibition of a humane spirit was + punished as a crime. The nun who was found guilty of showing mercy to a + fellow-sufferer was sure to find none herself. + </p> + <p> + From this time I gained very fast, for the Abbess saw how hungry I was, + and she would either put food in my way, or give me privately what I + wished to eat. In two weeks I was able to go to work in the kitchen again. + But those I had formerly seen there were gone. I never knew what became of + the sick nun, nor could I learn anything about the one who ran away with + me. I thought that the men who brought me to St. Regis, were kept there to + go after her, but I do not know whether they found her or not. For myself, + I promised so solemnly, and with such apparent sincerity, that I would + never leave the nunnery again, I was believed and trusted. Had I been + kindly treated, had my life been even tolerable, my conscience would have + reproached me for deceiving them, but as it was, I felt that I was more + "sinned against, than sinning." I could not think it wrong to get away, if + the opportunity presented, and for this I was constantly on the watch. + Every night I lay awake long after all the rest were buried in slumber, + trying to devise some plan, by which I could once more regain my liberty. + And who can blame me? Having just tasted the sweets of freedom, how could + I be content to remain in servitude all my life? Many a time have I left + my bed at night, resolved to try to escape once more, but the fear of + detection would deter me from the attempt. + </p> + <p> + In the discharge of my daily duties, I strove to the utmost of my ability + to please my employers. I so far succeeded, that for five weeks after my + return I escaped punishment. Then, I made a slight mistake about my work, + though I verily thought I was doing it according to the direction. For + this, I was told that I must go without two meals, and spend three days in + the torture room. I supposed it was the same room I was in before, but I + was mistaken. I was taken into the kitchen cellar, and down a flight of + stairs to another room directly under it. From thence, a door opened into + another subterranean apartment which they called the torture room. These + doors were so constructed, that a casual observer would not be likely to + notice them. I had been in that cellar many times, but never saw that door + until I was taken through it. A person might live in the nunnery a + life-time, and never see or hear anything of such a place. I presume those + visitors who call at the school-rooms, go over a part of the house, and + leave with the impression that the convent is a nice place, will never + believe my statements about this room. Nor can we wonder at their + skepticism. It is exceedingly difficult for pure minds to conceive how any + human being can be so fearfully depraved. Knowing the purity of their own + intentions, and judging others by themselves, it is not strange that they + regard such tales of guilt and terror as mere fabrications, put forth to + gratify the curiosity of the wonder-loving crowd. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0017" id="link2HCH0017"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVII. — THE TORTURE ROOM. + </h2> + <p> + I remember hearing a gentleman at the depot remark that the very enormity + of the crimes committed by the Romanists, is their best protection. "For," + said he, "some of their practices are so shockingly infamous they may not + even be alluded to in the presence of the refined and the virtuous. And if + the story of their guilt were told, who would believe the tale? Far easier + would it be to call the whole a slanderous fabrication, than to believe + that man can be so vile." + </p> + <p> + This consideration led me to doubt the propriety of attempting a + description of what I saw in that room. But I have engaged to give a + faithful narrative of what transpired in the nunnery; and shall I leave + out a part because it is so strange and monstrous, that people will not + believe it? No. I will tell, without the least exaggeration what I saw, + heard, and experienced. People may not credit the story now, but a day + will surely come when they will know that I speak the truth. + </p> + <p> + As I entered the room I was exceedingly shocked at the horrid spectacle + that met my eye. I knew that fearful scenes were enacted in the + subterranean cells, but I never imagined anything half so terrible as + this. In various parts of the room I saw machines, and instruments of + torture, and on some of them persons were confined who seemed to be + suffering the most excruciating agony. I paused, utterly overcome with + terror, and for a moment imagined that I was a witness to the torments, + which, the priests say, are endured by the lost, in the world of woe. Was + I to undergo such tortures, and which of those infernal engines would be + applied to me? I was not long in doubt. The priest took hold of me and put + me into a machine that held me fast, while my feet rested on a piece of + iron which was gradually heated until both feet were blistered. I think I + must have been there fifteen minutes, but perhaps the time seemed longer + than it was. He then took me out, put some ointment on my feet and left + me. + </p> + <p> + I was now at liberty to examine more minutely the strange objects around + me. There were some persons in the place whose punishment, like my own, + was light compared with others. But near me lay one old lady extended on a + rack. Her joints were all dislocated, and she was emaciated to the last + degree. I do not suppose I can describe this rack, for I never saw + anything like it. It looked like a gridiron but was long enough for the + tallest man to lie upon. There were large rollers at each end, to which + belts were attached, with a large lever to drive them back and forth. Upon + this rack the poor woman was fastened in such a way, that when the levers + were turned and the rollers made to revolve, every bone in her body was + displaced. Then the violent strain would be relaxed, a little, and she was + so very poor, her skin would sink into the joints and remain there till it + mortified and corrupted. + </p> + <p> + It was enough to melt the hardest heart to witness her agony; but she bore + it with a degree of fortitude and patience, I could not have supposed + possible, had I not been compelled to behold it. When I entered the room + she looked up and said, "Have you come to release me, or only to suffer + with me?" I did not dare to reply, for the priest was there, but when he + left us she exclaimed, "My child, let nothing induce you to believe this + cursed religion. It will be the death of you, and that death, will be the + death of a dog." I suppose she meant that they would kill me as they would + a dog. She then asked, "Who put you here?" "My Father," said I. "He must + have been a brute," said she, "or he never could have done it." At one + time I happened to mention the name of God, when she fiercely exclaimed + with gestures of contempt, "A God! You believe there is one, do you? Don't + you suffer yourself to believe any such thing. Think you that a wise, + merciful, and all powerful being would allow such a hell as this to exist? + Would he suffer me to be torn from friends and home, from my poor children + and all that my soul holds dear, to be confined in this den of iniquity, + and tortured to death in this cruel manner? No, O, no. He would at once + destroy these monsters in human form; he would not suffer them, for one + moment, to breathe the pure air of heaven." + </p> + <p> + At another time she exclaimed, "O, my children! my poor motherless + children! What will become of them? God of mercy, protect my children!" + Thus, at one moment, she would say there was no God, and the next, pray to + him for help. This did not surprise me, for she was in such intolerable + misery she did not realize what she did say. Every few hours the priest + came in, and gave the rollers a turn, when her joints would crack and—but + I cannot describe it. The sight made me sick and faint at the time, as the + recollection of it, does now. It seemed as though that man must have had a + heart of adamant, or he could not have done it. She would shriek, and + groan, and weep, but it did not affect him in the least. He was as calm, + and deliberate as though he had a block of wood in his hands, instead of a + human being. When I saw him coming, I once shook my head at her, to have + her stop speaking; but when he was gone, she said, "Don't shake your head + at me; I do not fear him. He can but kill me, and the quicker he does it + the better. I would be glad if he would put an end to my misery at once, + but that would be too merciful. He is determined to kill me by inches, and + it makes no difference what I say to him." + </p> + <p> + She had no food, or drink, during the three days I was there, and the + priest never spoke to her. He brought me my bread and water regularly, and + I would gladly have given it to that poor woman if she would have taken + it. But she would not accept the offer. It would only prolong her + sufferings, and she wished to die. I do not suppose she could have lived, + had she been taken out when I first saw her. + </p> + <p> + In another part of the room, a monk was under punishment. He was standing + in some kind of a machine, with heavy weights attached to his feet, and a + belt passed across his breast under his arms. He appeared to be in great + distress, and no refreshment was furnished him while I was there. + </p> + <p> + On one side of the room, I observed a closet with a "slide door," as the + nuns called them. There were several doors of this description in the + building, so constructed as to slide back into the ceiling out of sight. + Through this opening I could see an image resembling a monk; and whenever + any one was put in there, they would shriek, and groan, and beg to be + taken out, but I could not ascertain the cause of their suffering. + </p> + <p> + One day a nun was brought in to be punished. The priest led her up to the + side of the room, and bade her put her fingers into some holes in the wall + just large enough to admit them. She obeyed but immediately drew them back + with a loud shriek. I looked to see what was the matter with her, and lo! + every nail was torn from her fingers, which were bleeding profusely. How + it was done, I do not know. Certainly, there was no visible cause for such + a surprising effect. In all probability the fingers came in contact with + the spring of some machine on the other side, or within the wall to which + some sharp instrument was attached. I would give much to know just how it + was constructed, and what the girl had done to subject herself to such a + terrible and unheard-of punishment. But this, like many other things in + that establishment, was wrapped in impenetrable mystery. God only knows + when the veil will be removed, or whether it ever will be until the day + when all secret things will be brought to light. + </p> + <p> + When the three days expired, I was taken out of this room, but did not go + to work again till my feet were healed. I was then obliged to assist in + milking the cows, and taking care of the milk. They had a large number of + cows, I believe thirty-five, and dairy rooms, with every thing convenient + for making butter and cheese. When first directed to go out and milk, I + was pleased with the idea, for I hoped to find and opportunity to escape; + but I was again disappointed. In the cow yard, as elsewhere, every + precaution was taken to prevent it. + </p> + <p> + Passing out of the main yard of the convent through a small door, I found + myself in a small, neat yard, surrounded by a high fence, so that nothing + could be seen but the sky overhead. The cows were driven in, and the door + immediately locked, so that escape from that place seemed impossible. + </p> + <p> + At harvest time, in company with twenty other nuns, I was taken out into + the country to the residence of the monks. The ride out there was a great + treat, and very much enjoyed by us all. I believe it was about five miles, + through a part of the city of Montreal; the north part I think, but I am + not sure. We stopped before a large white stone building, situated in the + midst of a large yard like the one at the nunnery. A beautiful walk paved + with stone, led from the gate to the front door, and from thence, around + the house. Within the yard, there was also a delightful garden, with neat, + well kept walks laid out in various directions. Before the front door + there stood a large cross. I think I never saw a more charming place; it + appeared to me a perfect paradise. I heard one of the priests say that the + farm consisted of four hundred acres, and belonged to the nunnery. The + house was kept by two widow ladies who were married before they embraced + the Romish faith. They were the only women on the place previous to our + arrival, and I think they must have found it very laborious work to wait + upon so many monks. I do not know their number, but there was a great many + of them, besides a large family of boys, who, I suppose, were being + educated for priests or monks. + </p> + <p> + Immediately on our arrival a part of our number were set to work in the + fields, while the rest were kept in the house to assist the women. I hoped + that I might be one of these last, but disappointment was again my lot. I + was sent to the field with the others, and set to reaping; a priest being + stationed near, to guard us and oversee our work. We were watched very + closely, one priest having charge of two nuns, for whose safe keeping he + was responsible. Here we labored until the harvest was all gathered in. I + dug potatoes, cut up corn and husked it, gathered apples, and did all + kinds of work that is usually done by men in the fall of the year. Yet I + was never allowed to wear a bonnet on my head, or anything to shield me + from the piercing rays of the sun. Some days the heat was almost + intolerable, and my cap was not the least protection, but they allowed me + no other covering. + </p> + <p> + In consequence of this exposure, my head soon became the seat of severe + neuralgic pain, which caused me at times to linger over my work. But this + was not permitted. My movements were immediately quickened, for the work + must be done notwithstanding the severe pain. Every command must be obeyed + whatever the result. + </p> + <p> + At night a part of our number were taken to the nunnery, and the rest of + us locked up in our rooms in the house. We were not permitted to take our + meals with the two housekeepers, but a table was set for us in another + room. One would think that when gathering the fruit we would be allowed to + partake of it, or at least to taste it. But this was not allowed; and as a + priest's eye was ever upon us, we dare not disobey, however much we might + wish to do so. I used to wonder if the two women who kept the house were + as severely dealt with as we were, but had no means whereby to satisfy my + curiosity. They were not allowed to converse with us, and we might not + speak to them, or even look them in the face. Here, as at the nunnery, we + were obliged to walk with the head bent forward a little, the eyes fixed + on the floor, one hand, if disengaged, under the cape, the other down by + the side, and on no occasion might we look a person in the face. The two + women seemed to be governed by the same rules that we were, and subject to + the same masters. I used to think a great deal about them, and longed to + know their history. They wore blue dresses, with white caps, and white + handkerchiefs on their necks. Their life, I think, was a hard one. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0018" id="link2HCH0018"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVIII. — RETURN TO THE NUNNERY. + </h2> + <p> + While we remained at this place I was not punished in any of the usual + methods. Perhaps they thought the exposure to a burning sun, and a severe + headache, sufficient to keep me in subjection without any other + infliction. But immediately on my return to the nunnery I was again + subjected to the same cruel, capricious, and unreasonable punishment. + </p> + <p> + On the first day after my return one of the priests came into the kitchen + where I was at work, and I hastened to give him the usual respectful + salutation, which I have before described. But he took hold of my arm and + said, "What do you look so cross for?" And without giving me time to + reply, even if I had dared to do so, he added, "I'll teach you not to look + cross at me." He left the room, with an expression of countenance that + frightened me. I was not aware of looking cross at him, though I must + confess I had suffered so much at his hands already, I did not feel very + happy in his presence; yet I always endeavored to treat him with all due + respect. Certainly his accusation against me in this instance was as false + as it was cruel. But what of that? I was only a nun, and who would care if + I was punished unjustly? The priest soon returned with a band of leather, + or something of the kind, into which thorns were fastened in such numbers + that the inside was completely covered with them. This he fastened around + my head with the points of the thorns pressing into the skin, and drew it + so tight that the blood ran in streams over my neck and shoulders. I wore + this band, or "crown of thorns;" as they called it, for six hours, and all + the time continued my work as usual. Then I thought of the "crown of + thorns" our Saviour wore when he gave his life a ransom for the sins of + the world. I thought I could realize something of his personal agony, and + the prayer of my soul went up to heaven for grace to follow his example + and forgive my tormentors. + </p> + <p> + From this time I was punished every day while I remained there, and for + the most simple things. It was evident they wished to break down my + spirit, but it only confirmed me in my resolution to get away from them as + soon as possible. + </p> + <p> + One day I chanced to close the door a little too hard. It was mere + accident, but for doing it they burned me with red hot tongs. They kept + them in the fire till they were red hot, then plunged them into cold + water, drew them out as quickly as possible, and immediately applied them + to my arms or feet. The skin would, of course adhere to the iron, and it + would sometime burn down to the bone before they condescended to remove + it. At another time I was cruelly burned on my arms and shoulders for not + standing erect. The flesh was deep in some places, and the agony I + suffered was intolerable. I thought of the stories the Abbess used to tell + me years before about the martyrs who were burned at the stake. But I had + not a martyr's faith, and I could not imitate their patience and + resignation. The sores made on these occasions were long in healing, and + to this day I bear upon my person the scars caused by these frequent + burnings. + </p> + <p> + I was often punished because I forgot to walk on my toes. For this trivial + offence I have often been made to fast two days. We all wore cloth shoes, + and it was the rule of the house that we should all walk on tip-toe. + Sometimes we would forget, and take a step or two in the usual way; and + then it did seem as though they rejoiced in the opportunity to inflict + punishment. It was the only amusement they had, and there was so little + variety in their daily life, I believe they were glad of anything to break + in upon the monotony of convent life, and give them a little excitement. + It was very hard for me to learn to walk on my toes, and as I often failed + to do it, I was of course punished for the atrocious crime. But I did + learn at last, for what can we not accomplish by resolute perseverance? + Several years of practice so confirmed the habit that I found it as + difficult to leave off as it was to begin. Even now I often find myself + tripping along on tip-toe before I am aware of it. + </p> + <p> + We had a very cruel abbess in the kitchen, and this was one reason of our + being punished so often. She was young and inexperienced, and had just + been promoted to office, with which she seemed much pleased and elated. + She embraced every opportunity to exercise her authority, and often have I + fasted two whole days for accidentally spilling a little water on the + kitchen floor. Whenever she wished to call my attention to her, she did + not content herself with simply speaking, but would box my ears, pull my + hair, pinch my arms, and in many ways so annoy and provoke me that I often + wished her dead. One day when I was cleaning knives and forks she came up + to me and gave me such a severe pinch on my arm that I carried the marks + for many days. I did not wait to think what I was doing, but turned and + struck her with all my might. It could not have been a light blow, for I + was very angry. She turned away, saying she should report me to the Lady + Superior. I did not answer her, but as she passed through the door I threw + a knife which I hoped would hit her, but it struck the door as she closed + it. I expected something dreadful would be done to me after this wilful + violation of a well known law. But I could bear it, I thought, and I was + glad I hit her so hard. + </p> + <p> + She soon returned with a young priest, who had been there but a short + time, and his heart had not yet become so hard as is necessary to be a + good Romish priest. He came to me and asked, "What is the matter?" I told + him the Abbess punished me every day, that in fact I was under punishment + most of the time; that I did not deserve it, and I was resolved to bear it + no longer. I struck her because she pinched me for no good reason; and I + should in future try to defend myself from her cruelty. + </p> + <p> + "Do you know," said he, "what will be done to you for this?" "No, sir," + said I, "I do not know," and I was about to add, "I do not care," but I + restrained myself. He went out, and for a long time I expected to be + called to account, but I heard no more of it. The Abbess, however, went on + in the old way, tormenting me on every occasion. + </p> + <p> + One day the priests had a quarrel among themselves, and if I had said a + DRUNKEN QUARREL, I do not think it would have been a very great mistake. + In the fray they stabbed one of their number in the side, drew him out of + his room, and left him on the floor in the hall of the main building, but + one flight of stairs above the kitchen. Two nuns, who did the chamber + work, came down stairs, and, seeing him lie there helpless and forsaken, + they took him by the hair of the head and drew him down to the kitchen. + Here they began to torment him in the most cruel manner. They burned + sticks in the fire until the end was a live coal, put them into his hands + and closed them, pressing the burning wood into the flesh, and thus + producing the most exquisite pain. At least this would have been the + result if he had realized their cruelty. But I think he was insensible + before they touched him, or if not, must have died very soon after, for I + am sure he was dead when I first saw him. + </p> + <p> + I went to them and remonstrated against such inhuman conduct. But one of + the nuns replied, "That man has tormented me more than I can him, if I do + my best, and I wish him to know how good it is." "But," said I, "some one + will come in, and you will be caught in the act." "I'll risk that," said + she, "they are quarreling all over the house, and will have enough to do + to look after each other for a while, I assure you." "But the man is + dead," said I. "How can you treat a senseless corpse in that way?" "I'm + afraid he is dead," she replied, he don't move at all, and I can't feel + his heart beat; but I did hope to make him realize how good the fire + feels." + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile, the blood was flowing from the wound in his side, and ran over + the floor. The sight of this alarmed them, and they drew him into another + dark hall, and left him beside the door of a room used for punishment. + They then came back, locked the hall door, and washed up the blood. They + expected to be punished for moving the dead body, but the floor was dry + before any of the priests came in, and I do not think it was ever known. + Perhaps they did not remember events as distinctly as they might under + other circumstances, and it is very possible, that, when they found the + corpse they might not have been able to say whether it was where they left + it, or not. We all rejoiced over the death of that priest. He was a very + cruel man; had punished me times without number, but, though I was glad he + was dead, I could not have touched him when he lay helpless and + insensible. + </p> + <p> + A few weeks after the events just related, another trifling occurrence + brought me into collision with the Abbess. And here let me remark that I + have no way, by which to ascertain at what particular time certain events + transpired. The reader will understand that I write this narrative from + memory, and our life at the nunnery was so monotonous, the days and weeks + passed by with such dull, and irksome uniformity, that sometimes our + frequent punishments were the only memorable events to break in upon the + tiresome sameness of our unvarying life. Of course the most simple thing + was regarded by us as a great event, something worthy of special notice, + because, for the time, it diverted our minds from the peculiar restraints + of our disagreeable situation. + </p> + <p> + To illustrate this remark let me relate an incident that transpired about + this time. I was one day sent to a part of the house where I was not in + the habit of going. I was passing along a dark hall, when a ray of light + from an open door fell upon my path. I looked up, and as the door at that + moment swung wide open, I saw, before a glass, in a richly furnished room, + the most beautiful woman I ever beheld. From the purity of her complexion, + and the bright color of her cheeks and lips, I could have taken her for a + piece of wax work, but for the fact that she was carelessly arranging her + hair. She was tall, and elegant in person, with a countenance of such rare + and surpassing beauty, I involuntarily exclaimed, "What a beautiful + woman!" She turned towards me with a smile of angelic sweetness, while an + expression of sympathetic emotion overspread her exquisitely moulded + features, which seemed to say as plainly as though she had spoken in + words, "Poor child, I pity you." I now became conscious that I was + breaking the rules of the house, and hastened away. But O, how many days + my soul fed on that smile! I never saw the lady again, her name I could + never know, but that look of tenderness will never be forgotten. It was + something to think of through many dreary hours, something to look back + to, and be grateful for, all the days of my life. + </p> + <p> + But to return to my narrative. The priests had a large quantity of sap + gathered from the maple trees, and brought to the nunnery to be boiled + into sugar. Another nun and myself were left to watch it, keep the kettle + filled up, and prevent it from burning. It was boiled in the large caldron + of which I have before spoken, and covered with a large, thin, wooden + cover. The sap had boiled some time, and become very thick. I was employed + in filling up the kettle when the Abbess came into the room, and after a + few inquiries, directed me to stand upon the cover of the caldron, and fix + a large hook directly over it. I objected, for I know full well that it + would not bear a fourth part of my weight. She then took hold of me, and + tried to force me to step upon it, but I knew I should be burned to death, + for the cover, on account of its enormous size was made as thin as + possible, that we might be able to lift it. When I saw that she was + determined to make me yield, in self defence, I threw her upon the floor. + Would that I had been content to stop here. But no. When I saw her in my + power, and remembered how much I had suffered from her, my angry passions + rose, and I thought only of revenge. + </p> + <p> + I commenced beating her with all my might, and when I stopped from mere + exhaustion, the other nun caught her by the hair and began to draw her + round the room. She struggled and shrieked, but she could not help + herself. Her screams, however, alarmed the house, and hearing one of the + priests coming, the nun gave her a kick and left her. The priest asked + what we were doing, and the Abbess related with all possible exaggeration, + the story of our cruelty. "But what did you do to them?" asked the priest + "You gave them some provocation, or they never would treat you so." She + was then obliged to tell what had passed between us, and he said she + deserved to suffer for giving such an order. "Why," said he, "that cover + would not have held her a moment, and she would most assuredly have burned + to death." He punished us all; the Abbess for giving the order, and us for + abusing her. I should not have done this thing, had I not come off so + well, when I once before attempted to defend myself; but my success at + that time gave me courage to try it again. My punishment was just, and I + bore it very well, consoled by the thought that justice was awarded to the + Abbess, as well as myself. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0019" id="link2HCH0019"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIX. — SICKNESS AND DEATH OF A SUPERIOR. + </h2> + <p> + The next excitement in our little community was caused by the sickness and + death of our Superior. I do not know what her disease was, but she was + sick two weeks, and one of the nuns from the kitchen was sent to take care + of her. One night she was so much worse, the nun thought she would die, + and she began to torment her in the most inhuman manner. She had been + severely punished a short time before at the instigation of this woman, + and she then swore revenge if she ever found an opportunity. Now it was + presented. She was in her power, too weak to resist or call for + assistance, and she resolved to let her know by experience how bitterly + she had made others suffer in days gone by. It was a fiendish spirit, + undoubtedly, that prompted her to seek revenge upon the dying, but what + else could we expect? She only followed the example of her elders, and if + she went somewhat beyond their teachings, she had, as we shall see, her + reasons for so doing. With hot irons she burned her on various parts of + her person, cut great gashes in the flesh upon her face, sides, and arms, + and then rubbed salt and pepper into the wounds. But I will not try to + describe it. + </p> + <p> + The wretched woman died before morning, and the nun went to the priest and + told him that the Superior was dead, and that she had killed her. The + priests were immediately all called together, and the Bishop called upon + for counsel. He sentenced her to be hung that morning in the chapel before + the assembled household. The Abbess came and informed us what had taken + place, and directed us to get ready and go to the chapel. When we entered, + the doomed girl sat upon a chair on the altar. She was clad in a white + robe, with a white cap on her head, and appeared calm, self-possessed, and + even joyful. The Bishop asked her if she had anything to say for herself. + She immediately rose and said, "I have killed the Superior, for which I am + to be hung. I know that I deserve to die, but I have suffered more than + death many times over, from punishments inflicted by her order. For many + years my life has been one of continual suffering; and for what? For just + nothing at all, or for the most simple things. Is it right, is it just to + starve a person two whole days for shutting the door a little too hard? or + to burn one with hot irons because a little water was accidentally spilt + on the floor? Yet for these and similar things I have again and again been + tortured within an inch of my life. Now that I am to be hung, I am glad of + it, for I shall die quick, and be out of my misery, instead of being + tortured to death by inches. I did this thing for this very purpose, for I + do not fear death nor anything that comes after it. Talk about the + existence of a God! I don't believe a word of it. And the story of heaven + and hell, purgatory, and the Virgin Mary; why, it's all a humbug, like the + rest of the vile stuff you call religion. Religion indeed! You wont catch + us nuns believing it, and more than all that, you don't believe it + yourselves, not one of you." + </p> + <p> + She sat down, and they put a cap over her head and face, drew it tight + around her neck, adjusted the rope, and she was launched into eternity. To + me it seemed a horrid thing, and I could not look upon her dying + struggles. I did not justify the girl in what she had done, yet I knew + that the woman would have died if she had let her alone; and I also knew + that worse things than that were done in the nunnery almost every day, and + that too by the very men who had taken her life. I left the chapel with a + firm resolve to make one more effort to escape from a thraldom that + everyday became more irksome. + </p> + <p> + At the door the Abbess met me, and led me to a room I had never seen + before, where, to my great surprise, I found my bed. She said it was + removed by her order, and in future I was to sleep in that room. "What! + sleep here alone?" I exclaimed, quite forgetting, in the agitation of the + moment, the rule of silent obedience. But she did not condescend to notice + either my question or the unpleasant feelings which must have been visible + in my features. I did feel very much troubled. I had never slept in a room + alone a night in my life. Another nun always occupied the room with me, + and when she was absent, as she often was when under punishment, the + Abbess slept there, so that I was never alone. I did not often meet the + girl with whom I slept, as she did not work in the kitchen, but whenever I + did, I felt as pleased as though she had been my sister. Yet I never spoke + to her, nor did she ever attempt to converse with me. Yes, strange as it + may seem, incredible as my reader may think it, it is a fact, that during + all the years we slept together, not one word ever passed between us. We + did not even dare to communicate our thoughts by signs, lest the Abbess + should detect us. + </p> + <p> + That night I spent in my new room; but I could not sleep. I had heard + strange hints about some room where no one could sleep, and where no one + liked to go, though for what reason I could never learn. When I first + entered, I discovered that the floor was badly stained, and, while + speculating on the cause of those stains, I came to the conclusion that + this was the room to which so much mystery was attached. It was very dark, + with no window in it, situated in the midst of the house, surrounded by + other rooms, and no means of ventilation except the door. I did not close + my eyes during the whole night. I imagined that the door opened and shut, + that persons were walking in the room, and I am certain that I heard + noises near my bed for which I could not account. Altogether, it was the + most uncomfortable night I ever spent, and I believe that few persons + would have felt entirely at ease in my situation. + </p> + <p> + To such a degree did these superstitious fears assail me, I felt as though + I would endure any amount of physical suffering rather than stay there + another night. Resolved to brave everything, I went to a priest and asked + permission to speak to him. It was an unusual thing, and I think his + curiosity was excited, for it was only in extreme cases that a nun + ventures to appeal to a priest When I told him my story, he seemed much + surprised, and asked by whose order my bed was moved to that room. I + informed him of all the particulars, when he ordered me to move my bed + back again. "No one," said he, "has slept in that room for years, and we + do not wish any one to sleep there." I accordingly moved the bed back, and + as I had permission from the priest, the Abbess dared not find fault with + me. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0020" id="link2HCH0020"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XX. — STUDENTS AT THE ACADEMY. + </h2> + <p> + Through the winter I continued to work as usual, leading the same dull, + dreary, and monotonous life, varied only by pains, and privations. In the + spring a slight change was made in the household arrangements, and for a + short time I assisted some of the other nuns to do the chamber work for + the students at the academy. There was an under-ground passage from the + convent to the cellar of the academy through which we passed. Before we + entered, the doors and windows were securely fastened, and the students + ordered to leave their rooms, and not return again till we had left. They + were also forbidden to speak to us, but whenever the teachers were away, + they were sure to come back to their rooms, and ask us all manner of + questions. They wished to know, they said, how long we were going to stay + in the convent, if we really enjoyed the life we had chosen, and were + happy in our retirement; if we had not rather return to the world, go into + company, get married, etc. I suppose they really thought that we could + leave at any time if we chose. But we did not dare to answer their + questions, or let them know the truth. + </p> + <p> + One day, when we went to do the work, we found in one of the rooms, some + men who were engaged in painting. They asked us if we were contented. We + did not dare to reply, lest they should betray us. They then began to make + remarks about us, some of which I well remember. One of them said, "I + don't believe they are used very well; they look as though they were half + starved." Another replied, "I know they do; there is certainly something + wrong about these convents, or the nuns would not all look so pale and + thin." I suspect the man little thought how much truth there was in his + remarks. + </p> + <p> + Soon after the painters left we were all taken suddenly ill. Some were + worse than others, but all were unwell except one nun. As all exhibited + the same symptoms, we were supposed to have taken poison, and suspicion + fastened on that nun. She was put upon the rack, and when she saw that her + guilt could not be concealed, she confessed that she poisoned the water in + the well, but she would not tell what she put into it, nor where she got + it. She said she did not do it to injure the nuns, for she thought they + were allowed so little drink with their food, they would not be affected + by it, while those who drank more, she hoped to kill. She disliked all the + priests, and the Superior, and would gladly have murdered them all. But + for one priest in particular, she felt all the hatred that a naturally + malignant spirit, excited by repeated acts of cruelty, is capable of. He + had punished her repeatedly, and as she thought, unjustly, and she + resolved to avenge herself and destroy her enemy, even though the innocent + should suffer with the guilty. This was all wrong, fearfully wrong we must + admit. But while we look with horror at the enormity of her crime let us + remember that she had great provocation. I hope there are few who could + have sought revenge in the way she did; yet I cannot believe that any one + would endure from another what she was compelled to suffer from that man, + without some feelings of resentment. Let us not judge too harshly this + erring sister, for if her crime was great, her wrongs were neither small + nor few, and her punishment was terrible. + </p> + <p> + They tortured her a long time to make her tell what kind of poison she put + in the well, and where she obtained it. They supposed she must have got it + from the painters, but she would never tell where she procured it. This + fact proves that she had some generous feelings left. Under any other + circumstances such magnanimity would have been highly applauded, and in my + secret soul I could not but admire the firmness with which she bore her + sufferings. She was kept upon the rack until all her joints were + dislocated, and the flesh around them mortified. They then carried her to + her room, removed the bed, and laid her upon the bedcord. The nuns were + all assembled to look at her, and take warning by her sad fate. Such a + picture of misery I never saw before. She seemed to have suffered even + more than the old lady I saw in the cellar. It was but a moment, however, + that we were allowed to gaze upon her shrunken ghastly features, and then + she was hid from our sight forever. The nuns, except two or three, were + sent from the room, and thus the murder was consummated. What else can we + call it? + </p> + <p> + There was one young student at the academy whose name was Smalley. He was + from New England, and his father lived at St. Albans, Vt., where he had + wealth and influence. This young man had a little sister who used to visit + at the convent, whom they called Sissy Smalley. She was young, but + handsome, witty and intelligent. For one of her age, she was very much + refined in her manners. They allowed her to go anywhere in the building + except the private apartments where those deeds of darkness were performed + which would not bear the pure light of heaven. I presume that no argument + could convince little Sissy Smalley that such rooms were actually in the + nunnery. She had been all over it, she would tell you, and she never saw + any torture rooms, never heard of any one being punished, or anything of + the kind. Such reports would appear to her as mere slanders, yet God knows + they are true. I well remember how I used to shudder to hear that child + praise the nunnery, tell what a nice, quiet place it was, and how she + would like it for a permanent home. I hope her brother will find out the + truth about it in season to prevent his beautiful sister from ever + becoming a nun. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0021" id="link2HCH0021"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXI. — SECOND ESCAPE FROM THE NUNNERY. + </h2> + <p> + It was early in the spring, when I again succeeded in making my escape. It + was on a Saturday evening, when the priests and nearly all the nuns were + In the chapel. I was assisted out of the yard in the same way I was + before, and by the same person. There was still snow upon the ground and + that they might not be able to track me, I entered the market and walked + the whole length of it without attracting observation. From thence I + crossed the street, when I saw a police officer coming directly towards + me. I turned down a dark alley and ran for my life, I knew not whither. It + is the duty of every police officer in Montreal to accompany any of the + sisters whom they chance to meet in the street, and I knew if he saw me he + would offer to attend me wherever I wished to go. Such an offer might not + be refused, and, certainly, his company, just at that time, was neither + desirable nor agreeable. + </p> + <p> + At the end of the alley, I found myself near a large church, and two + priests were coming directly towards me. It is said "the drowning catch at + straws." Whether this be true or not, the plan which I adopted in this + emergency seemed as hopeless for my preservation, as a straw for the + support of the drowning. Yet it was the only course I could pursue, for to + escape unseen was impossible. I therefore resolved to go boldly past them, + and try to make them think I was a Superior going to church. Trying to + appear as indifferent as possible, I approached, and saluted them in the + usual way. This is done by throwing forward the open hand, and passing it + down by the side with a slight inclination of the head. The priest returns + the salutation by standing with uncovered head till you have passed. In + the present instance, the priest said, as he removed his hat, "Church is + in, Sister." I bowed again, and hastened on. With trembling limbs I + ascended the Church steps, and stood there till the priests were out of + sight. It was but a moment, yet it seemed a long time. I knew the house + was filled with priests and students, some of whom would be sure to + recognize me at once. What if they should come out! The thought of it + nearly took away my breath. The cold perspiration started from my brow, + and I felt as though I should faint. But my fears were not realized, and + as soon as the priests were out of sight, I went on again. Soon I came to + a cross street, leading to the river, where a large hotel stood on the + corner. I followed the river, and travelled all night. The next day, + fearing to be seen by people going to church, I hid in a cellar hole, + covered over with old boards and timbers. + </p> + <p> + At night I went on again, and on Sunday evening about ten o'clock I came + to a small village where I resolved to seek food and lodging. Tired, + hungry and cold, feeling as though I could not take another step, I called + at one of the houses, and asked permission to stay over night. It was + cheerfully granted. The lady gave me some milk, and I retired to rest. + Next morning, I rose early and left before any of the family were up. I + knew they were all Romanists, and I feared to trust them. + </p> + <p> + At noon that day I arrived at St. Oars, a town, named, as I have been + informed, for the man who owns a great part of it. I stopped at a public + house, which, they called, "Lady St. Oars," where they were eating dinner. + The landlady invited me to dine with them, and asked if I belonged to the + convent in that place. I told her that I did, for I knew if I told the + truth they would suspect me at once. "Do you eat meat?" she asked. I told + her I did not. "Do you eat butter on your bread?" I replied in the + affirmative, and she gave me a slice of bread and butter, a piece of + cheese and a silver cup full of milk. I ate it all, and would gladly have + eaten more, for I was very hungry. As I was about to leave, the lady + remarked, "There was grease in that cheese, was it a sin for me to give it + to you?" I assured her it was not, for I was allowed to eat milk, and the + cheese being made of milk, there could be no sin in my eating it I told + her that, so far from committing a sin, the blessed Virgin was pleased + with her benevolent spirit, and would, in some way, reward her for her + kindness. + </p> + <p> + Leaving Lady St. Oars, I went on to the next town where I arrived at seven + in the evening. I called at the house of a Frenchman, and asked if I could + stay over night, or at least, be allowed to rest awhile. The man said I + was welcome to come in, but he had no place where I could sleep. They were + just sitting down to supper, which consisted of pea soup; but the lady + said there was meat in it, and she would not invite me to partake of it; + but she gave me a good supper of bread and milk. She thought I was a + Sister of Charity, and I did not tell her that I was not. After supper, + she saw that my skirt was stiff with mud, and kindly offered to wash it + out for me, saying, I could rest till it was dry. I joyfully accepted her + offer, and reclining in a corner, enjoyed a refreshing slumber. + </p> + <p> + It was near twelve o'clock before I was ready to go on again, and when I + asked how far it was to the next town, they manifested a great anxiety for + my welfare. The man said it was seven miles to Mt. Bly, but he hoped I did + not intend to walk. I told him I did not know whether I should or not, + perhaps I might ride. "But are you not afraid to go on alone?" he asked. + "St. Dennis is a bad place for a lady to be out alone at night, and you + must pass a grave-yard in the south part of the town; dare you go by it, + in the dark?" I assured him that I had no fear whatever, that would + prevent me from going past the grave-yard. I had never committed a crime, + never injured any one, and I did not think the departed would come back to + harm me. The lady said she would think of me with some anxiety, for she + should not dare to go past that grave-yard alone in the dark. I again + assured her that I had no cause to fear, had no crime on my conscience, + had been guilty of no neglect of duty, and if the living would let me + alone, I did not fear the dead. They thought I referred to the low + characters about town, and the lady replied, "I shall tell my beads for + you and the holy Virgin will protect you from all harm. But remember," she + continued, "whenever you pass this way, you will always find a cordial + welcome with us." I thanked her, and with a warm grasp of the hand we + parted. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0022" id="link2HCH0022"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXII. — LONELY MIDNIGHT WALK. + </h2> + <p> + It was near morning when I entered Mt. Bly, but I did not stop. I traveled + all night, and late in the morning came to a respectable looking farmhouse + which I thought might be occupied by Protestants. I always noticed that + their houses were neater, and more comfortable than those of the Romanists + in the same condition in life. In the present instance I was not + disappointed in my expectations. The lady received me kindly, gave me some + breakfast, and directed me to the next village. I walked all day, and near + night arrived at St. Mary's, where I called at a house, and asked + permission to sit and rest awhile. They gave me an invitation to enter, + but did not offer refreshments. I did not like to ask for charity if I + could avoid it, and I thought it possible they might ask me to stay over + night. But they did not, and after a half hour's rest I rose to depart, + and thanking them for their kindness inquired how far it was to the next + house. They said it was seven miles to the first house, and nine to the + next village. + </p> + <p> + With a sad heart, I once more pursued my lonely way. Soon it began to + rain, and the night came on, dark and dismal, cold and stormy, with a high + wind that drove the rain against my face with pitiless fury. I entered a + thick wood where no ray of light could penetrate, and at almost every + step, I sank over shoes in the mud. Thus I wandered on, reflecting + bitterly on my wretched fate. All the superstitious fears, which a convent + life is so well calculated to produce, again assailed me, and I was + frightened at my own wild imaginings. I thought of the nuns who had been + murdered so cruelly, and I listened to the voice of the storm, as to the + despairing wail of a lost soul. The wind swept fiercely through the + leafless branches, now roaring like a tornado, again rising to a shrill + shriek, or a prolonged whistle, then sinking to a hollow murmer, and dying + away in a low sob which sounded to my excited fancy like the last + convulsive sigh of a breaking heart. Once and again I paused, faint and + dizzy with hunger and fatigue, feeling as though I could go no further. + But there was no alternative. I must go on or perish. And go on I did, + though, as I now look back upon that night's experience, I wonder how I + managed to do so. But a kind providence, undoubtedly, watched over me, and + good angels guided me on my way. Some time in the night, I think it must + have been past twelve o'clock, I became so very weary I felt that I must + rest awhile at all events. It was so dark I could not see a step before + me, but I groped my way to a fence, seated myself on a stone with my head + resting against the rails, and in that position I fell asleep. + </p> + <p> + How long I slept, I do not know. I think it must have been some hours. + When I awoke, my clothes were drenched with rain, and I was so stiff and + lame, I could hardly move. But go I must, so I resolved to make the best + of it, and hobble along as well as I could. At last I reached the village, + but it was not yet morning, and I dared not stop. I kept on till daylight, + and as soon as I thought people were up, I went up to a house and rapped. + A woman came to the door, and I asked if she would allow me to go in, and + dry my clothes, and I would have added, get some breakfast, but her looks + restrained me. They were getting breakfast, but did not invite me to + partake of it, and I dared not ask for anything to eat. When my clothes + were dry, I thanked them for the use of their fire, and inquired how far + it was to the next village. They said the next town was Highgate, but they + did not know the distance. + </p> + <p> + My tears flowed freely when I again found myself in the street, cold, + hungry, almost sick, and entirely friendless. What should I do? What would + become of me? One thought alone gave courage to my desponding heart, + buoyed up my sinking spirits, and restored strength to my weary limbs. I + was striving for liberty, that priceless boon, so dear to every human + heart. I might, perhaps, obtain it. At least, I would try. + </p> + <p> + Nerved to renewed effort by thoughts like these, I toiled onward. All that + day I walked without a particle of nourishment. When I reached Highgate, + it was eleven o'clock at night, but in one house I saw a light, and I + ventured to rap at the door. It was opened by a pale, but pleasant looking + woman. "Kind lady," said I, "will you please tell me how far it is to the + States?" "To the States!" she exclaimed, and in a moment she seemed to + understand both my character and situation. "You are now in Vermont + State," said she, "but come in child, you look sad and weary." I at once + accepted her offer, and when she asked how far I was traveling, and how I + came to be out so late, I did not hesitate to reveal to her my secret, for + I was sure she could be trusted. She invited me to spend the remainder of + the night, and gave me some refreshment. She was nursing a sick woman, + which accounted for her being up so late, but did not prevent her from + attending to all my wants, and making me as comfortable as possible. When + she saw that my feet were wounded, badly swollen, and covered with blood + and dirt, she procured warm water, and with her own hands bathed, and made + them clean, with the best toilet soap. She expressed great sympathy for + the sad condition my feet were in, and asked if I had no shoes? I told her + that my shoes were made of cloth, and soon wore out; that what was left of + them, I lost in the mud, when traveling through the woods in the dark. She + then procured a pair of nice woollen stockings, and a pair of new shoes, + some under clothes, and a good flannel skirt, which she begged me to wear + for her sake. I accepted them gratefully, but the shoes I could not wear, + my feet were so sore. She said I could take them with me, and she gave me + a pair of Indian moccasins to wear till my feet were healed. Angel of + mercy that she was; may God's blessing rest upon her for her kindness to + the friendless wanderer. + </p> + <p> + The next morning the good lady urged me to stay with her, at least, for a + time, and said I should be welcome to a home there for the rest of my + life. Grateful as I was for her offer, I was forced to decline it, for I + knew that I could not remain so near Montreal in safety. She said the + "select men" of the town would protect me, if they were made acquainted + with my peculiar situation. Dear lady! she little knew the character of a + Romish priest! Her guileless heart did not suspect the cunning artifice by + which they accomplish whatever they undertake. And those worthy "select + men," I imagine, were not much better informed than herself. Sure I am, + that any protection they could offer me, would not, in the least degree, + shield me from the secret intrigue, the affectionate, maternal embrace of + holy Mother Church. + </p> + <p> + When she found that, notwithstanding all her offers, I was resolved to go, + she put into a basket, a change of clothing, the shoes she had given me, + and a good supply of food which she gave me for future use. But the most + acceptable part of her present was a sun-bonnet; for thus far I had + nothing on my head but the cap I wore in the convent. She gave me some + money, and bade me go to Swanton, and there, she said, I could take the + cars. I accordingly bade her farewell, and, basket in hand, directed my + steps toward the depot some seven miles distant, as I was informed; but I + thought it a long seven miles, as I passed over it with my sore feet, the + blood starting at every step. + </p> + <p> + On my arrival at the depot, a man came to me, and asked where I wished to + go. I told him I wished to go as far into the State as my money would + carry me. He procured me a ticket, and said it would take me to St. + Albans. He asked me where I came from, but I begged to be excused from + answering questions. He then conducted me to the ladies room, and left me, + saying the cars would be along in about an hour. + </p> + <p> + In this room, several ladies were waiting to take the cars. As I walked + across the room, one of them said, in a tone that grated harshly on my + feelings, "Your skirt is below your dress." I did not feel very good + natured, and instead of saying "thank you," as I should have done, I + replied in the most impudent manner, "Well, it is clean, if it is in + sight." The lady said no more, and I sat down upon a sofa and fell asleep. + As I awoke, one of the ladies said, "I wonder who that poor girl is!" I + was bewildered, and, for the moment, could not think where I was, but I + thought I must make some reply, and rousing myself I turned to her, and + said, "I am a nun, if you wish to know, and I have just escaped from a + convent." She gave me a searching look, and said, "Well, I must confess + you do look like one. I often visit in Montreal where I see a great many + of them, and they always look poor and pale. Will you allow me to ask you + a few questions?" By this time, I was wide awake, and realized perfectly + where I was, and the folly of making such an imprudent disclosure. I would + have given much to recall those few words, for I had a kind of + presentiment that they would bring me trouble. I begged to be excused from + answering any questions, as I was almost crazy with thinking of the past + and did not wish to speak of it. + </p> + <p> + The lady said no more for some time, but she kept her eye upon me, in a + way that I did not like; and I began to consider whether I had better wait + for the cars, or start on foot. I was sorry for my imprudence, but it + could not be helped now, and I must do the best I could to avoid the + unpleasant consequences which might result from it. I had just made up my + mind to go on, when I heard in the far distance, the shrill whistle of the + approaching train; that train which I fondly hoped would bear me far away + from danger, and onward to the goal of my desires. + </p> + <p> + At this moment, the lady crossed the room, and seating herself by my side, + asked, "Would you not like to go and live with me? I have one waiting maid + now, but I wish for another, and if you will go, I will take you and give + you good wages. Your work will not be hard; will you go?" "Where do you + go?" I asked. "To Montreal," she replied. "Then I shall not go with you," + said I. "No money could induce me to return there again." "Ah!" said she, + with a peculiar smile, "I see how it is, but you need not fear to trust + me. I will protect you, and never suffer you to be taken back to the + convent." I saw that I had made unconsciously another imprudent + revelation, and resolved to say no more. I was about to leave her, but she + drew me back saying, "I will give you some of my clothes, and I can make + them fit you so well that no one will ever recognize you. I shall have + plenty of time to alter them if they require it, for the train that I go + in, will not be along for about three hours; you can help me, and in that + time we will get you nicely fixed." + </p> + <p> + I could hardly repress a smile when I saw how earnest she was, and I + thought it a great pity that a plan so nicely laid out should be so + suddenly deranged, but I could not listen to her flatteries. I suspected + that she was herself in the employ of the priests, and merely wished to + get me back that she might betray me. She had the appearance of being very + wealthy, was richly clad, wore a gold watch, chain, bracelets, breastpin, + ear rings, and many finger rings, all of the finest gold. But with all her + wealth and kind offers, I dare not trust her. I thought she looked annoyed + when I refused to go with her, but when I rose to go to the cars, a look + of angry impatience stole over, her fine features, which convinced me that + I had escaped a snare. + </p> + <p> + The cars came at length, and I was soon on my way to St. Albans. I was + very sick, and asked a gentleman near me to raise the windows. He did so, + and inquired how far I was going. I informed him, when he remarked that he + was somewhat acquainted in St. Albans, and asked with whom I designed to + stop. I told him I had no friends or acquaintance in the place, but I + hoped to get employment in some protestant family. He said he could direct + me to some gentlemen who would, he thought, assist me. One in particular, + he mentioned as being a very wealthy man, and kept a number of servants; + perhaps he would employ me. + </p> + <p> + This gentleman's name was Branard, and my informant spoke so highly of the + family, I immediately sought them out on leaving the cars, and was at once + employed by Mrs. Branard, as a seamstress. Here I found a quiet, happy + home. Mrs. Branard was a kind sympathizing woman, and to her, I confided + the history of my convent life. She would not allow me to work hard, for + she saw that my nerves were easily excited. She made me sit with her in + her own room a great part of the time, and did not wish me to go out + alone. They had several boarders in the family, and one of them was a + brother-in-law [Footnote: This gentleman was Mr. Z. K. Pangborn, late + editor of the Worcester Daily Transcript. Both Mr. and Mrs. Pangborn give + their testimony of the truth of this statement.] to Mrs. Branard. His name + I have forgotten; it was not a common name, but he married Mrs. Branard's + sister, and with his wife resided there all the time that I was with them. + Mr. Branard was away from home most of the time, so that I saw but little + of him. They had an Irish girl in the kitchen, named Betsy. She was a + kind, pleasant girl, and she thought me a strict Romanist because I said + my prayers so often, and wore the Holy Scapulary round my neck. This + Scapulary is a band with a cross on one side, and on the other, the + letters "J. H. S." which signify, "Jesus The Savior of Man." + </p> + <p> + At this place I professed great regard for the Church of Rome, and no one + but Mrs. Branard was acquainted with my real character and history. When + they asked my name, I told them they could call me Margaret, but it was an + assumed name. My own, for reasons known only by myself, I did not choose + to reveal. I supposed, of course, they would regard me with suspicion for + a while, but I saw nothing of the kind. They treated me with great + respect, and no questions were ever asked. Perhaps I did wrong in changing + my name, but I felt that I was justified in using any means to preserve my + liberty. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0023" id="link2HCH0023"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIII. — FLIGHT AND RECAPTURE. + </h2> + <p> + Four happy weeks I enjoyed unalloyed satisfaction in the bosom of this + charming family. It was a new thing for me to feel at home, contented, and + undisturbed; to have every one around me treat me with kindness and even + affection. I sometimes feared it was too good to last. Mrs. Branard in + particular, I shall ever remember with grateful and affectionate regard. + She was more like a mother to me, than a mistress, and I shall ever look + back to the time I spent with her, as a bright spot in the otherwise + barren desert of my life. Better, far better would it have been for me had + I never left her. But I became alarmed, and thought the convent people + were after me. It was no idle whim, no imaginary terror. I had good cause + to fear, for I had several times seen a priest go past, and gaze + attentively at the house. I knew him at the first glance, having often + seen him in Montreal. + </p> + <p> + Then my heart told me that they had traced me to this place, and were now + watching a chance to get hold of me. Imagine, if you can, my feelings. Had + I suffered so much in vain? Would they be allowed to take me back to those + fearful cells, where no ray of mercy could ever reach me? I could not + endure the thought. Frightened, and almost beside myself, I resolved to + make an effort to find a more secure place. I therefore left those kind + friends in the darkness of night, without one word of farewell, and + without their knowledge. I knew they would not allow me to go, if they + were apprised of my design. In all probability, they would have ridiculed + my fears, and bade me rest in peace. How could I expect them to comprehend + my danger, when they knew so little of the machination of my foes? I + intended to go further into the state, but did not wish to have any one + know which way I had gone. It was a sad mistake, but how often in this + world do we plunge into danger when we seek to avoid it! How often fancy + ourselves in security when we stand upon the very brink of ruin! + </p> + <p> + I left Mr. Branard's in the evening, and called upon a family in the + neighborhood whose acquaintance I had made, and whom I wished to see once + more, though I dared not say farewell. I left them between the hours of + nine and ten, and set forward on my perilous journey. I had gone but a + short distance when I heard the sound of wheels and the heavy tread of + horses' feet behind me. My heart beat with such violence it almost stopped + my breath, for I felt that they were after me. But there was no escape—no + forest or shelter near where I could seek protection. On came the furious + beasts, driven by no gentle hand. They came up with me, and I almost began + to hope that my fears were groundless, when the horses suddenly stopped, a + strong hand grasped me, a gag was thrust into my mouth, and again the + well-known box was taken from the wagon. Another moment and I was securely + caged, and on my way back to Montreal. Two men were in the wagon and two + rode on horseback beside it. Four men to guard one poor nun! + </p> + <p> + They drove to Mt. Bly, where they stopped to change horses, and the two + men on horseback remained there, while the other two mounted the wagon and + drove to Sorel. Here the box was taken out and carried on board a boat, + where two priests were waiting for me. When the boat started, they took me + out for the first time after I was put into it at St. Albans. Three days + we had been on the way, and I had tasted neither food nor drink. How + little did I think when I took my tea at Mr. Branard's the night I left + that it was the last refreshment I would have for SEVEN DAYS; yet such was + the fact. And how little did they think, as they lay in their quiet beds + that night, that the poor fugitive they had taken to their home was + fleeing for life, or for that which, to her, was better than life. Yet so + it was. Bitterly did I reproach myself for leaving those kind friends as I + did, for I thought perhaps if I had remained there, they would not have + dared to touch me. Such were my feelings then; but as I now look back, I + can see that it would have made little difference whether I left or + remained. They were bound to get me, at all events, and if I had stopped + there until they despaired of catching me secretly, they would undoubtedly + have come with an officer, and accused me of some crime, as a pretext for + taking me away. Then, had any one been so far interested for me as to + insist on my having a fair trial, how easy for them to produce witnesses + enough to condemn me! Those priests have many ways to accomplish their + designs. The American people don't know them yet; God grant they never + may. + </p> + <p> + On my arrival at the nunnery I was taken down the coal grate, and fastened + to an iron ring in the back part of a cell. The Archbishop then came down + and read my punishment. Notwithstanding the bitter grief that oppressed my + spirit, I could not repress a smile of contempt as the great man entered + my cell. I remembered that before I ran away, my punishments were assigned + by a priest, but the first time I fled from them a Bishop condescended to + read my sentence, and now his honor the Archbishop graciously deigned to + illume my dismal cell with the light of his countenance, and his own + august lips pronounced the words of doom. Was I rising in their esteem, or + did they think to frighten me into obedience by the grandeur of his + majestic mien? + </p> + <p> + Such were my thoughts as this illustrious personage proceeded slowly, and + with suitable dignity, to unroll the document that would decide my fate. + What would it be? Death? It might be for aught I knew, or cared to know. I + had by this time become perfectly reckless, and the whole proceeding + seemed so ridiculous, I found it exceedingly difficult to maintain a + demeanor sufficiently solemn for the occasion. But when the fixed decree + came forth, when the sentence fell upon my ear that condemned me to SEVEN + DAYS' STARVATION, it sobered me at once. Yet even then the feeling of + indignation was so strong within me, I could not hold my peace. I would + speak to that man, if he killed me for it. Looking him full in the face + (which, by the way, I knew was considered by him a great crime), I asked, + "Do you ever expect to die?" I did not, of course, expect an answer, but + he replied, with a smile, "Yes; but you will die first." He then asked how + long I had fasted, and I replied, "Three days." He said, "You will fast + four days more, and you will be punished every day until next December, + when you will take the black veil." As he was leaving the room, he + remarked, "We do not usually have the nuns take the black veil until they + are twenty-one; but you have such good luck in getting away, we mean to + put you where you can't do it." And with this consoling thought he left me—left + me in darkness and despair, to combat, as best I could, the horrors of + starvation. This was in the early part of winter, and only about a year + would transpire before I entered that retreat from which none ever + returned. And then to be punished every day for a year! What a prospect! + The priest came every morning, with his dark lantern, to look at me; but + he never spoke. On the second day after my return, I told him if he would + bring me a little piece of bread, I would never attempt to run away again, + but would serve him faithfully the rest of my life. Had he given it to me, + I would have faithfully kept my word; but he did not notice me, and + closing the door, he left me once more to pass through all the agonies of + starvation. I remember nothing after that day. Whether I remained in the + cell the other two days, or was taken out before the time expired, I do + not know. This much, however, I do know, as a general rule a nun's + punishment is never remitted. If she lives, it is well; if she dies, no + matter; there are enough more, and no one will ever call them to an + account for the murder. + </p> + <p> + But methinks I hear the reader ask, "Did they not fear the judgment of God + and a future retribution?" In reply I can only state what I believe to be + the fact. It is my firm belief that not more than one priest in ten + thousand really believes in the truth of Christianity, or even in the + existence of a God. They are all Infidels or Atheists; and how can they be + otherwise? It is the legitimate fruit of that system of deceit which they + call religion. Of course I only give this as my opinion, founded on what I + have seen and heard. You can take it, reader, for what it is worth; + believe it or not, just us you please; but I assure you I have often heard + the nuns say that they did not believe in any religion. The professions of + holiness of heart and parity of life so often made by the priests they + KNOW to be nothing but a hypocritical pretence, and their ceremonies they + regard as a ridiculous farce. + </p> + <p> + For some time after I was taken from the cell I lay in a state of partial + unconsciousness, but how long, I do not know. I have no recollection of + being taken up stairs, but I found myself on my bed, in my old room, and + on the stand beside me were several cups, vials, etc. The Abbess who sat + beside me, occasionally gave me a tea-spoonful of wine or brandy, and + tried to make me eat. Ere long, my appetite returned, but it was several + weeks before my stomach was strong enough to enable me to satisfy in any + degree, the cravings of hunger. When I could eat, I gained very fast, and + the Abbess left me in the care of a nun, who came in occasionally to see + if I wanted anything. This nun often stopped to talk with me, when she + thought no one was near, and expressed great curiosity to know what I saw + in the world; if people were kind to me, and if I did not mean to get away + again, if possible, I told her I should not; but she replied, "I don't + believe that. You will try again, and you will succeed yet, if you keep up + good courage. You are so good to work, they do not wish to part with you, + and that is one reason why they try so hard to get you back again. But + never mind, they won't get you next time." I assured her I should not try + to escape again, for they were sure to catch me, and as they had almost + killed me this time, they would quite the next. I did not dare to trust + her, for I supposed the Superior had given her orders to question me. + </p> + <p> + I was still weak, so weak that I could hardly walk when they obliged me to + go into the kitchen to clean vegetables and do other light work, and as + soon as I had sufficient strength, to milk the cows, and take the care of + the milk. They punished me every day, in accordance with the Bishop's + order, and sometimes, I thought, more than he intended. I wore thorns on + my head, and peas in my shoes, was whipped and pinched, burnt with hot + irons, and made to crawl through the underground passage I have before + described. In short, I was tortured and punished in every possible way, + until I was weary of my life. Still they were careful not to go so far as + to disable me from work. They did not care how much I suffered, if I only + performed my daily task. + </p> + <p> + There was an underground passage leading from the nunnery to a place which + they called, "Providence," in the south part of the city. I do not know + whether it is a school, or a convent, or what it is, but I think it must + be some distance, from what I heard said about it. The priest often spoke + of sending me there, but for some reason, he did not make me go. Still the + frequent reference to what I so much dreaded, kept me in constant + apprehension and alarm. I have heard the priest say that underground + passages extended from the convent in every direction, for a distance of + five miles; and I have reason to believe the statement is true. But these + reasons I may not attempt to give. There are things that may not even be + alluded to, and if it were possible to speak of them, who would believe + the story? + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0024" id="link2HCH0024"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIV. — RESOLVES TO ESCAPE. + </h2> + <p> + As summer approached, I expected to be sent to the farm again, but for + some reason I was still employed in the kitchen. Yet I could not keep my + mind upon my work. The one great object of my life; the subject that + continually pressed upon my mind was the momentous question, how shall I + escape? The dreaded December was rapidly approaching. To some it would + bring a joyous festival, but to me, the black veil and a life long + imprisonment. Once within those dreary walls, and I might as well hope to + escape from the grave. Such are the arrangements, there is no chance for a + nun to escape unless she is promoted to the office of Abbess or Superior. + Of course, but few of them can hope for this, especially, if they are not + contented; and certainly, in my case there was not the least reason to + expect anything of the kind. Knowing these facts, with the horrors of the + Secret Cloister ever before me, I felt some days as though on the verge of + madness. Before the nuns take the black veil, and enter this tomb for the + living, they are put into a room by themselves, called the forbidden + closet, where they spend six months in studying the Black Book. Perchance, + the reader will remember that when I first came to this nunnery, I was + taken by the door-tender to this forbidden closet, and permitted to look + in upon the wretched inmates. From that time I always had the greatest + horror of that room. I was never allowed to enter it, and in fact never + wished to do so, but I have heard the most agonizing groans from those + within, and sometimes I have heard them laugh. Not a natural, hearty + laugh, however, such as we hear from the gay and happy, but a strange, + terrible, sound which I cannot describe, and which sent a thrill of terror + through my frame, and seemed to chill the very blood in my veins. + </p> + <p> + I have heard the priests say, when conversing with each other, while I was + tidying their room, that many of these nuns lose their reason while + studying the Black Book. I can well believe this, for never in my life did + I ever witness an expression of such unspeakable, unmitigated anguish, + such helpless and utter despair as I saw upon the faces of those nuns. And + well they may despair. Kept under lock and key, their windows barred, and + no air admitted to the room except what comes through the iron grate of + their windows from other apartments; compelled to study, I know not what; + with no hope of the least mitigation of their sufferings, or relaxation of + the stringent rules that bind them; no prospect before them but a + life-long imprisonment; what have they to hope for? Surely, death and the + grave are the only things to which they can look forward with the least + degree of satisfaction. + </p> + <p> + Those nuns selected for this Secret Cloister are generally the fairest, + the most beautiful of the whole number. I used to see them in the chapel, + and some of them were very handsome. They dressed like the other nuns, and + always looked sad and broken hearted, but were not pale and thin like the + rest of us. I am sure they were not kept upon short allowance as the + others were, and starvation was not one of their punishments, whatever + else they might endure. The plain looking girls were always selected to + work in the kitchen, and do the drudgery about the house. How often have I + thanked God for my plain face! But for that, I might not have been kept in + the kitchen so long, and thus found means to escape which I certainly + could not have found elsewhere. + </p> + <p> + With all my watching, and planning I did not find an opportunity to get + away till June. I then, succeeded in getting outside the convent yard one + evening between eight and nine o'clock. How I got there, is a secret I + shall never reveal. A few yards from the gate I was stopped by one of the + guard at the Barrack, who asked where I was going. "To visit a sick + woman," I promptly replied, and he let me pass. Soon after this, before my + heart ceased to flutter, I thought I heard some one running after me. My + resolution was at once taken. I would never be caught and carried back + alive. My fate was at last, I thought, in my own hands. Better die at once + than to be chained like a guilty criminal, and suffer as I had done + before. Blame me not gentle reader, when I tell you that I stood upon the + bank of the river with exultant joy; and, as I pursued my way along the + tow-path, ready to spring into the water on the first indication of + danger, I rejoiced over the disappointment of my pursuers in losing a + servant who had done them so good service. At a little distance I saw a + ferry boat, but when I asked the captain to carry me over the river, he + refused. He was, probably, afraid of the police and a fine, for no one can + assist a run-away nun with impunity, if caught in the act. He directed me, + however, to the owner of the boat, who said I could go if the captain was + willing to carry me. I knew very well that he would not, and I took my + place in the boat as though I had a perfect right to it. + </p> + <p> + We were almost across the river, when the captain saw me, and gave orders + to turn back the boat, and leave me on the shore from whence we started. + From his appearance I thought we were pursued, and I was not mistaken. + Five priests were following us in another boat, and they too, turned back, + and reached the shore almost as soon as we did. I left the boat and ran + for my life. I was now sure that I was pursued; there could be no doubt of + that, for the sound of footsteps behind me came distinct to my ear. At a + little distance stood a small, white house. Could I not reach it? Would + not the people protect me? The thought gave me courage, and I renewed my + efforts. Nearer came the footsteps, but I reached the house, and without + knocking, or asking permission, I sprang through the door. + </p> + <p> + The people were in bed, in another room, but a man looked out, and asked + what I wanted. "I'm a nun," said I. "I've run away from the Grey Nunnery, + and they're after me. Hide me, O hide me, and God will bless you!" As I + spoke he put out his hand and opened the cellar door. "Here," said he, + "run down cellar, I'll be with you in a moment." I obeyed, and he struck a + light and followed. Pointing to a place where he kept ashes, he said + hastily, "Crawl in there." There was not a moment to lose, for before he + had covered up my hiding place, a loud knock was heard upon the front + door. Having extinguished his light, he ran up stairs, and opened the door + with the appearance of having just left his bed. "Who is here?" he asked, + "and what do you want this time of night?" One of them replied, "We are in + search of a nun, and are very sure she came in here?" "Well gentlemen," + said he, "walk in, and see for yourselves. If she is here, you are at + liberty to find her." Lighting a candle, he proceeded to guide them over + the house, which they searched until they were satisfied. They then came + down cellar, and I gave up all hope of escape. Still, I resolved never to + be taken alive. I could strangle myself, and I would do it, rather than + suffer as I did before. At that moment I could truly say with the inspired + penman, with whose language I have since become familiar, "my soul + chooseth strangling and death rather than life." + </p> + <p> + They looked all around me, and even into the place where I lay concealed, + but they did not find me. At length I heard them depart, and so great was + my joy, I could hardly restrain my feelings within the bounds of decorum. + I felt as though I must dance and sing, shout aloud or leap for joy at my + great deliverance. I am sure I should have committed some extravagant act + had not the gentleman at that moment called me up, and told me that my + danger was by no means past. This information so dashed my cup of bliss + that I was able to drink it quietly. + </p> + <p> + He gave me some refreshment, and as soon as safety would permit, saddled + his horse, and taking me on behind him, carried me six miles to another + boat, put me on board, and paid the captain three dollars to carry me to + Laprairie. On leaving me, he gave me twenty-five cents, and said, "you'll + be caught if you go with the other passengers." The captain said he could + hide me and no one know that I was on board, but himself. He led me to the + end of the boat, and put me upon a board over the horses. He fixed a + strong cord for me to hold on by, and said, "you must be careful and not + fall down, for the horses would certainly kill you before you could be + taken out." The captain was very kind to me and when I left him, gave me + twenty-five cents, and some good advice. He said I must hurry along as + fast as possible, for it was Jubilee, and the priests would all be in + church at four o'clock. He also advised me not to stop in any place where + a Romish priest resided, "for," said he, "the convent people have, + undoubtedly, telegraphed all over the country giving a minute description + of your person, and the priests will all be looking for you." + </p> + <p> + Two days I travelled as fast as my strength would allow, when I came to + Sorel, which was on the other side of the river. Here I saw several + priests on the road coming directly towards me. That they were after me, I + had not a doubt. Whither should I flee? To escape by running, was out of + the question, but just at that moment my eye fell upon a boat near the + shore. I ran to the captain, and asked him to take me across the river. He + consented, and, as I expected, the priests took another boat and followed + us. Once more I gave myself up for lost, and prepared to spring into the + water, if they were likely to overtake me. The man understood my feelings, + and exerted all his strength to urge forward the boat. At last it reached + the shore, and as he helped me out he whispered, "Now run." I did run, but + though my own liberty was at stake I could not help thinking about the + consequences to that man if I escaped, for I knew they would make him pay + a heavy fine for his benevolent act. A large house stood in my way, and + throwing open the door I exclaimed, "Are there any protestants here?" "O, + yes," replied a man who sat there, "come with me." He led me to the + kitchen, where a large company of Irish men were rolling little balls on a + table. I saw the men were Irish and my first thought was, "I am betrayed." + </p> + <p> + But my fears were soon relieved, for the man exclaimed, "Here is a nun, + inquiring for protestants." "Well," replied one who seemed to be a leader, + "this is the right place to find them. We are all true Orange men." And + then they all began to shout, "Down with the Catholics! Down with the + Pope! Death to the Jesuits! etc." I was frightened at their violence, but + their leader came to me, and with the kindness of a brother, said, "Do not + fear us. If you are a run-away, we will protect you." He bade the men be + still and asked if any one was after me. I told him about the priests, and + he replied, "you have come to the right place for protection, for they + dare not show themselves here. I am the leader of a band of + Anti-Catholics, and this is their lodge. You have heard of us, I presume; + we are called Orange men. Our object is, to overthrow the Roman Catholic + religion, and we are bound by the most fearful oaths to stand by each + other, and protect all who seek our aid. The priests dread our influence, + for we have many members, and I hope ere long, the power of the Pope in + this country will be at an end. I am sure people must see what a cruel, + hypocritical set they are." + </p> + <p> + Before he had done speaking, a man came to the door and said, "The + carriage is ready." Another of the men, on hearing this, said, "Come with + me, and I'll take you out of the reach of the priests." He conducted me to + a carriage, which was covered and the curtains all fastened down. He + helped me into it, directing me to sit upon the back seat, where I could + not be seen by any one unless they took particular pains. He drove to St. + Oars that night, and, if I remember right, he said the distance was twelve + miles. When, he left me he gave me twenty-five cents. I travelled all + night, and about midnight passed through St. Dennis, But I did not stop + until the next morning, when I called at a house and asked for something + to eat. The lady gave me some bread and milk, and I again pursued my way. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0025" id="link2HCH0025"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXV. — EVENTFUL JOURNEY. + </h2> + <p> + Once more I had the good fortune to obtain a passage across the river in a + ferry-boat, and was soon pressing onward upon the other side. Passing + through two places called St. Mary's and St. John's, I followed the + railroad to a village which I was informed was called Stotsville, + [Footnote: I beg leave once more to remind the reader that it is by no + means certain that I give these names correctly. Hearing them pronounced, + with no idea of ever referring to them again, it is not strange that + mistakes of this kind should occur.] a great part of the property being + owned by a Mr. Stots, to whom I was at once directed. Here I stopped, and + was kindly received by the gentleman and his wife. They offered me + refreshments, gave me some articles of clothing, and then he carried me + twelve miles, and left me at Rouse's Point, to take the cars for Albany. + He gave me six dollars to pay my expenses, and a letter of introduction to + a gentleman by the name of Williams, in which he stated all the facts he + knew concerning me, and commended me to his care for protection. I think + he said Mr. Williams lived on North Pearl street, but I may be mistaken in + this and also in some other particulars. As I had no thought of relating + these facts at the time of their occurrence, I did not fix them in my mind + as I otherwise should have done. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Stots said that if I could not find the gentleman to whom the letter + was directed, I was to take it to the city authorities, and they would + protect me. As he assisted me from the carriage he said, "You will stop + here until the cars come along, and you must get your own ticket. I shall + not notice you again, and I do not wish you to speak to me." I entered the + depot intending to follow his directions; but when I found the cars would + not come along for three hours, I did not dare to stay. There was quite a + large collection of people there, and I feared that some one would suspect + and stop me. I therefore resolved to follow the railroad, and walk on to + the next station. On my way I passed over a railroad bridge, which I + should think was two miles long. The wind blew very hard at the time, and + I found it exceedingly difficult to walk upon the narrow timbers. More + than once I came near losing my precarious footing, and I was in constant + fear that the train would overtake me before I got over. In that case I + had resolved to step outside the track where I thought I could stand upon + the edge of the bridge and hold on by the telegraph poles, and thus let + them pass without doing me injury. Happily, however, I was not compelled + to resort to this perilous expedient, but passed the bridge in safety. At + the end I found another nearly as long, connected with it by a drawbridge. + When I drew near it was up for a boat to pass; but a man called to me, and + asked if I wish to go over. I told him I did, and he let down the bridge. + As I approached him he asked, "Are you mad? or how came you here?" I told + him I had walked from the depot at Rouse's Point. He appeared greatly + surprised, and said, "You are the first person who ever walked over that + bridge. Will you come to my house and rest awhile? You must be very weary, + and my wife will be glad to see you. She is rather lonely here, and is + pleased to see any one. Will you come? 'Tis only a short distance, just + down under the bridge." Those last words decided me. I thanked him, but + firmly refused to go one step out of my way. I thought that he wished to + deceive me, perhaps take me to some out-of-the-way place, and give me up + to my pursuers. At all events, it was wise not to trust him, for I was + sure there was no house near the bridge, certainly not under it. I have + since learned that such is the fact. As I turned to leave him, he again + urged me to stop, and said, "The cars will soon be along, and they will + run over you. How do you expect to get out of their way?" I told him I + would risk it, and left him. I passed on in safety, and soon came to the + depot, where I took the evening train for Albany. At eight the same + evening I left the cars, and walked on towards Troy, which I think was + four miles distant. Here I met a lad, of whom I inquired the way to + Albany. "You cannot get there to-night," said he, "and I advise you not to + try." When he saw that I was determined to go on, he said I would pass a + tavern called the half-way house, and if I was tired I could stop there. + It was about eleven o'clock when I passed this house, There were several + persons on the piazza, laughing, talking, and singing, who called me as I + passed, shouted after me, and bade me stop. Exceedingly frightened, I ran + with all possible speed, but they continued to call after me till I was + out of hearing. Seeing a light at a house near by, I ventured to rap on + the door. It was opened by a woman, who asked me to walk in. I inquired + the distance to Albany. She informed me, but said, "You can't go there + to-night." I told her I must, "Well," said she, "if you will go, the watch + will take care of you when you get there." She then asked, "Were those men + calling after you?" I told her I supposed they were, when she replied, + with a peculiar smile, "I guess you can't be a very nice kind of girl, or + you wouldn't be on the street this time of night." My feelings were so + deeply wounded I could hardly restrain my tears at this cruel insinuation; + but pride came to my aid, and, choking down the rising emotion, I replied + as carelessly as possible, "I must do as I can, and not as I would." + </p> + <p> + It was about one o'clock at night when I entered the principal street in + Albany, and, as the lady predicted, a watchman came to me and asked why I + was out that time of night. I gave him Mr. Stot's letter. He stood beside + a lamp-post and read it, when he seemed satisfied, and said, "I know the + man; come with me and I'll take you to his house." I followed him a long + way, till at last he stopped before a large house, and rang the bell. Mr. + Williams came to the door, and asked what was wanted. The watchman gave + him the letter. He read it, and invited me to stop. His wife got up, + received me very kindly, and gave me some supper, for which I was truly + grateful. Nor was I less thankful for the delicate consideration with + which they avoided any allusion to my convent life, or my subsequent + flight and suffering. Mrs. Williams saw that I was sad and weary, and as + she conducted me to a comfortable bed, she remarked, "You are safe at + last, and I am glad of it. You can now retire without the apprehension of + danger, and sleep in perfect security. You are with friends who will + protect you as long as you choose to remain with us." + </p> + <p> + Notwithstanding the good lady's assurance of safety, I found it impossible + to close my eyes. I was among strangers, in a strange place, and, having + been so often deceived, might I not be again? Perhaps, after all their + pretended kindness, they were plotting to betray me. A few days, however, + convinced me that I had at last found real friends, who would protect me + in the hour of danger to the utmost of their ability. + </p> + <p> + I remained here some four weeks, and should have remained longer, but an + incident transpired that awakened all my fears, and again sent me forth + into the wide world, a fugitive, and a wanderer. I went to my chamber one + night, when I heard a sound like the full, heavy respiration of a man in + deep sleep. The sound appeared to come from under the bed, but stopped as + I entered the room. I was very much alarmed, but I controlled my feelings, + and instead of running shrieking from the room, I deliberately closed the + blinds, shut the windows, adjusted the curtain, all the time carelessly + humming a tune, and taking up my lamp I slowly left the room. Once outside + the door, I ran in all haste to Mr. Williams, and told him what I had + heard. He laughed at me, said it was all imagination, but, to quiet my + fears, he went to my room resolved to convince me that no one was there. I + followed, and stood at the door while he lifted the bed valance, when a + large, tall man sprang forth, and caught him with one hand while with the + other he drew a pistol from beneath his coat saying, "Let me go, and I'll + depart in peace; but attempt to detain me, and I'll blow your brains out." + I shrieked, and Mrs. Williams came in great terror and consternation, to + see what was the matter. But she could render no assistance, and Mr. + Williams, being unarmed, was obliged to let him go. The watch were + immediately called, and they sought for the intruder in every direction. + No effort was spared to find him, that we might, at least, learn the + object of this untimely visit. But the search was all in vain. No trace of + his whereabouts could be discovered. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Williams said he did not believe it was me he sought. He thought the + object was robbery, and perhaps arson and murder, but he would not think + that I was in the least danger. "The man," he said, "in hastily concealing + himself had taken the first hiding place he could find." Yet I thought + otherwise. Indeed, so sure was I that he was an agent of the priests, sent + forth for the express purpose of arresting me, no earthly consideration + would have induced me to remain there another day. The rest of that night + I spent in a state of anxiety I cannot describe. Sleep fled from my eyes. + I dared not even undress and go to bed, but I sat in my chair, or walked + the room every moment expecting the return of the mysterious visitor. I + shuddered at every sound, whether real or imaginary. Once in particular, I + remember, the distant roll of carriage wheels fell upon my ear. I + listened; it came near, and still nearer, till at last it stopped, as I + thought, at the gate. For a moment I stood literally stupified with + terror, and then I hastily prepared to use the means for self destruction + I had already provided in anticipation of such an emergency. I was still + resolved never to be taken alive. "Give me liberty or give me death," was + now the language of my soul. If I could not enjoy the one, I would + cordially embrace the other. But it was a sad alternative after all I had + suffered that I might be free, after all my buoyant hopes, all my ardent + aspirations for a better life. O, it was a bitter thing, thus to stand in + the darkness of night, and with my own hand carefully adjust the cord that + was to cut me off from the land of the living, and in a moment launch my + trembling soul into the vast, unknown, untried, and fearful future, that + men call eternity! Was this to be the only use I was to make of liberty? + Was it for this I had so long struggled, toiled, wept and prayed? "God of + mercy," I cried, "save, O save me from this last great sin! From the sad + and dire necessity which thus urges me to cut short a life which thou + alone canst give!" My prayer was heard; but how slowly passed the hours of + that weary night while I waited for the day that I might "hasten my escape + from the windy storm and tempest." Truly, at that time I could say with + one of old, "Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror hath + overwhelmed me. My heart is sore pained within me, and the terrors of + death are fallen upon me. Oh that I had the wings of a dove, for then + would I flee away, and be at rest." + </p> + <p> + But alas! I had not the wings of a dove, and whither should I flee from + the furious grasp of my relentless persecutors? Again I must go forth into + the "busy haunts of men," I must mingle with the multitude, and what + chance had I for ultimate escape? If I left these kind friends, and leave + them I must, who would take me in? In whom could I confide? Who would have + the power to rescue me in my hour of need? In God alone could I trust, yet + why is he so far from helping me? Why are my prayers so long unanswered? + And why does he thus allow the wicked to triumph; to lay snares for the + feet of the innocent, and wrongfully persecute those whom their wanton + cruelty hath caused to sit in darkness and in the shadow of death? Why + does he not at once "break the bands of iron, and let the oppressed go + free?" + </p> + <p> + The tedious night at length passed away. When I met Mr. Williams in the + morning, I told him I could no longer remain with him, for I was sure if I + did, I should be suddenly arrested in some unguarded moment, and carried + back to Montreal. He urged me to stay, assured me he would never allow + them to take me, said that he thought some of going south, and I could go + with him, and thus be removed far from all whom I feared. Mrs. Williams, + also, strove to persuade me to stay. But, though sorry to appear + ungrateful, I dared not remain another night where I felt that my danger + was so great. + </p> + <p> + When they found that I was determined to go, Mr. Williams said I had + better go to Worcester, Mass., and try to get employment in some farmer's + family, a little out of the city. He gave me money to bear my expenses, + until I found a place where I could earn my living. It was with a sad + heart that I left this hospitable roof, and as I turned away I said in my + heart, "Shall I always be hunted through the world in this manner, obliged + to flee like a guilty thing, and shall I never find a home of happiness + and peace? Must sorrow and despair forever be the portion of my cup?" But + no words of mine can describe what I felt at that moment. I longed for the + power to sound a warning through the length and breadth of the land, to + cry in the ears of all the people, "Beware of Romanism!" Like the patient + man of Uz, with whose history I have since become familiar, I was ready to + exclaim, "O that my words were now written! O that they were printed in a + book! Graven with an iron pen," that the whole world might know what a + fearful and bitter thing it is to be a nun! To be subject to the control + of those ruthless tyrants, the Romish Priests. + </p> + <p> + Once more I entered the depot, and mingled with the crowd around the + ticket office. But no pen can describe my terror when I found myself the + object of particular attention. I heard people remark about my strange and + unnatural appearance, and I feared I might be taken up for a crazy person, + if not for a nun. Thinking that I saw an enemy in every face, and a + pursuer in every one who came near me, I hastened to take refuge in the + cars. There I waited with the greatest impatience for the starting of the + train. Slowly the cars were filled; very leisurely the passengers sought + their seats, while I sat trembling in every limb, and the cold + perspiration starting from every pore. How carefully I scanned every face! + how eagerly I watched for some indication of the priest or the spy! So + intense was my anxiety, those few moments seemed to me an age of agony. At + length the shrill whistle announced that all was ready, and like sweetest + music the sound fell upon my ears. The train dashed off at lightning + speed, but to me it seemed like the movement of a snail. + </p> + <p> + Once under way, I ventured to breathe freely, and hope again revived. + Perchance I might yet escape. But even as the thought passed my mind, a + man entered the cars and seated himself directly, before me. I thought he + regarded me with too much interest, and thinking to shun him, I quietly + left my seat and retired to the other end of the car. He soon followed, + and again my fears revived. He at first tried to converse with me, but + finding I would not reply, he began to question me in the most direct and + impertinent manner. Again I changed my seat, and again he followed. I then + sought the conductor, and revealed to him enough of my history to enlist + his sympathy and ensure his protection. To his honor be it spoken, I did + not appeal to him in vain. He severely reproved the man for his + impertinence; and for the rest of the journey I was shielded from insult + or injury. + </p> + <p> + Nothing further of interest transpired until I reached Worcester, when the + first face that met my eye as I was about to leave the cars was that of a + Romish priest. I could not be mistaken, for I had often seen him at + Montreal. He might not have been looking for me, but he watched every + passenger as they left the cars in a way that convinced me he had some + special reason for doing it. As I, too, had special reasons for avoiding + him just at that time, I stepped back out of sight until the passengers + were all out of the cars and the priest had turned away. I then sprang out + upon the opposite side, and, turning my back upon the depot, hastened away + amid the wilderness of houses, not knowing whither I went. For a long time + I wandered around, until at length, being faint and weary, I began to look + for some place where I could obtain refreshment. But when I found a + restaurant I did not dare to enter. A number of Irishmen were standing + around who were in all probability Catholics. I would not venture among + them; but as I turned aside I remembered that Mr. Williams had directed me + to seek employment a little out of the city. I then inquired the way to + Main street, and having found it, I turned to the north and walked on till + I found myself out of the thickly settled part of the city. Then I began + to seek for employment, and after several fruitless applications I chanced + to call upon a man whose name was Handy. He received me in the kindest + manner, and when I asked for work, he said his wife did not need to hire + me, but I was welcome to stop with them and work for my board until I + found employment elsewhere. This offer I joyfully accepted; and, as I + became acquainted in the place, many kind hands were extended to aid me in + my efforts to obtain an honest living. In this neighborhood I still + reside, truly thankful for past deliverance, grateful for present mercies, + and confidently trusting God for the future. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0026" id="link2HCH0026"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXVI. — CONCLUSION. + </h2> + <p> + Here closes the history of Sarah J. Richardson, as related by herself. The + remaining particulars have been obtained from her employers in Worcester. + </p> + <p> + She arrived in this city August, 1854, and, as she has already stated, at + once commenced seeking for employment. She called at many houses before + she found any one who wished for help; and her first question at each + place was, "Are you a Catholic?" If the answer was in the affirmative, she + passed on, but if the family were Protestants, she inquired for some kind + of employment. She did not care what it was; she would cook, wash, sew, or + do chamber-work—anything to earn her bread. A Mr. Handy was the + first person who took her in, and gave her a home. In his family she + worked for her board a few weeks, going out to wash occasionally as she + had opportunity. She then went to Holden Mass., but for some reason + remained only one week, and again returned to Worcester. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Ezra Goddard then took her into his own family, and found her capable, + industrious, and trustworthy. Had anything been wanting to prove her + truthfulness and sincerity, the deep gratitude of her fervent "I thank + you," when told that she had found a permanent home, would have done it + effectually. But though her whole appearance indicated contentment and + earnestness of purpose, though her various duties were faithfully and + zealously performed, yet the deep sadness of her countenance, and the + evident anxiety of her mind at first awakened a suspicion of mental + derangement. She seemed restless, suspicious, and morbidly apprehensive of + approaching danger. The appearance of a stranger, or a sudden ringing of + the bell, would cause her to start, tremble, and exhibit the greatest + perturbation of spirit. In fact, she seemed so constantly on the qui vive, + the lady of the house one day said to her, "Sarah, what is the matter with + you? what do you fear?" "The Roman Catholic priests," she replied. "I have + been a nun. I ran away from the Grey Nunnery at Montreal, and twice I have + been caught, carried back, and punished in the most cruel manner. O, if + you knew what I have suffered, you would not wonder that I live in + constant fear lest they again seek out my retreat; and I will die before I + go back again." + </p> + <p> + Further questioning drew from her the foregoing narrative, which she + repeated once and again to various persons, and at different times, + without the least alteration or contradiction. She resided in the family + of Mr. Goddard some weeks, when she was taken into the employ of Mr. Amos + L. Black. + </p> + <p> + This gentleman informs us that he found her a faithful, industrious, + honest servant, and he has not the least doubt of the truthfulness of her + statements respecting her former life in the Convent. + </p> + <p> + A few weeks after this, she was married to Frederick S. Richardson with + whom she became acquainted soon after her arrival in the city of + Worcester. The marriage ceremony was performed by Charles Chaffin, Esq., + of Holden, Mass. After their marriage, her husband hired a room in the + house occupied by Mr. Handy with whom she had formerly resided. After a + few weeks, however, they removed to a place called the Drury farm. It is + owned by the heirs, but left in the care of Mr. Ezra Goddard. + </p> + <p> + Previous to her marriage, Mrs. Richardson had often been advised to allow + her history to be placed before the public. But she always replied, "For + my life I would not do it. Not because I do not wish the world to know it, + for I would gladly proclaim it wherever a Romanist is known, but it would + be impossible for me to escape their hands should I make myself so public. + They would most assuredly take my life." After her marriage, however, her + principal objection was removed. She thought they would not wish to take + her back into the nunnery, and her husband would protect her from + violence. She therefore related the story of her life while in the + convent, which, in accordance with her own request, was written down from + her lips as she related it. This was done by Mrs. Lucy Ann Hood, wife of + Edward P. Hood, and daughter of Ezra Goddard. It is now given to the + public without addition or alteration, and with but a slight abridgment. A + strange and startling story it certainly is. Perhaps the reader will cast + it aside at once as a worthless fiction,—the idle vagary of an + excited brain. The compiler, of course, cannot vouch for its truth, but + would respectfully invite the attention of the reader to the following + testimonials presented by those who have known the narrator. The first is + from Edward P. Hood, with whom Mrs. Richardson resided when her narrative + was written. + </p> + <p> + (TESTIMONY OF EDWARD P. HOOD.) + </p> + <p> + To all whom it may concern. I hereby certify that I was personally + acquainted with Sarah J. Richards, now Sarah J. Richardson, at the time + she resided in Worcester, Mass. I first saw her at the house of Mr. Ezra + Goddard, where she came seeking employment. She appeared anxious to get + some kind of work, was willing to do anything to earn an honest living. + She had the appearance of a person who had seen much suffering and + hardship. She worked for Mr. Goddard a short time, when she obtained + another place. She then left, but called very often; and during her stay + in Worcester, she worked there several times. So far as I was able to + judge of her character, I do not hesitate to say that she was a woman of + truth and honesty. I heard her relate the account of her life and + sufferings in the Grey Nunnery, and her final escape. I knew when the + story was written, and can testify to its being done according to her own + dictation. I have examined the manuscript, and can say that it a written + out truly and faithfully as related by the nun herself. + </p> + <p> + EDWARD P. HOOD. + </p> + <p> + Worcester, May 5, 1856. + </p> + <p> + (TESTIMONY OF EZRA GODDARD.) + </p> + <p> + I first became acquainted with Sarah J. Richardson in August 1854. She + came to my house to work for my wife. She was at my house a great many + times after that until March 1855, when she left Worcester. At one time + she was there four or five weeks in succession. She was industrious, + willing to do anything to get an honest living. She was kind in her + disposition, and honest in her dealings. I have no hesitation in saying + that I think her statements can be relied upon. + </p> + <p> + EZRA GODDARD. + </p> + <p> + Worcester, Jan. 21, 1856. + </p> + <p> + (TESTIMONY OF LUCY GODDARD.) + </p> + <p> + I am acquainted with the above named Sarah J. Richardson, and can fully + testify to the truth of the above statements as to her kindness and + industrious habits, honesty and truthfulness. + </p> + <p> + LUCY GODDARD. + </p> + <p> + Worcester, Jan. 21, 1856. + </p> + <p> + (TESTIMONY OF JOSIAH GODDARD.) + </p> + <p> + To whom it may concern: This is to testify that I am acquainted with Sarah + J. Richardson, formerly Sarah J. Richards. I became acquainted with her in + the fall of 1854. She worked at my father's at the time. I heard her tell + her story, and from what I saw of her while she was in Worcester, I have + no hesitation in saying that she was a woman of truth and honesty. + </p> + <p> + JOSIAH GODDARD. + </p> + <p> + Worcester, March 1, 1856. + </p> + <p> + (TESTIMONY OF EBEN JEWETT.) + </p> + <p> + I became acquainted with Sarah J. Richardson last winter, at the house of + Mr. Ezra Goddard; saw her a number of times after that, at the place where + I boarded. She did some work for my wife, and I heard her speak of being + at the Grey Nunnery. I also heard her story, from Mr. Goddard's family. I + have no doubt of her being honest and truthful, and I believe she is so + considered by all who became acquainted with her. + </p> + <p> + EBEN JEWETT. + </p> + <p> + Worcester, Feb., 1856. + </p> + <p> + (TESTIMONY OF CHARLES CHAFFIN.) + </p> + <p> + Worcester, ss.—Holden, Nov. 11, 1854. + </p> + <p> + This certifies that I this day united in marriage, Frederick S. Richardson + and Sarah J. Richards, both of Worcester. + </p> + <p> + CHARLES CHAFFIN, Justice of the Peace. + </p> + <p> + (AFFIDAVIT.) + </p> + <p> + I, Sarah J. Richardson, wife of Frederick S. Richardson, of the city of + Worcester, County of Worcester, and Commonwealth of Massachusetts, + formerly Sarah J. Richards before marriage, do solemnly swear, declare and + say, that the foregoing pages contain a true and faithful history of my + life before my marriage to the said Frederick S. Richardson, and that + every statement made herein by me is true. In witness whereof, I do + hereunto set my hand and seal, this 13th day of March, A.D. 1855. + </p> + <p> + SARAH J. RICHARDSON (X her mark.) + </p> + <p> + In presence of WM. GREENLEAF. + </p> + <p> + Sworn to before me, the 13th day of March, AD. 1855. + </p> + <p> + WM. GREENLEAF, Justice of the Peace. + </p> + <p> + (TESTIMONY OF Z. K. PANGBORN.) + </p> + <p> + When it was known that the Narrative of Sarah J. Richardson was about to + be published, Mr. Z. K. Pangborn, at that time editor of the Worcester + Daily Transcript, voluntarily offered the following testimony which we + copy from one of his editorials. + </p> + <p> + "We have no doubt that the nun here spoken of as one who escaped from the + Grey Nunnery at Montreal, is the same person who spent some weeks in our + family in the fall of 1853, after her first escape from the Nunnery. She + came in search of employment to our house in St. Albans, Vt., stating that + she had traveled on foot from Montreal, and her appearance indicated that + she was poor, and had seen hardship. She obtained work at sewing, her + health not being sufficient for more arduous task. She appeared to be + suffering under some severe mental trial, and though industrious and + lady-like in her deportment, still appeared absent minded, and + occasionally singular in her manner. After awhile she revealed the fact to + the lady of the house, that she had escaped from the Grey Nunnery at + Montreal, but begged her not to inform any one of the fact, as she feared, + if it should be known, that she would be retaken, and carried back. A few + days after making this disclosure, she suddenly disappeared. Having gone + out one evening, and failing to return, much inquiry was made, but no + trace of her was obtained for some months. Last spring a gentleman from + Worcester, Mass. called on us to make inquiries in regard to this same + person and gave us the following account of her as given by herself. She + states that on the evening when she so mysteriously disappeared from our + house, she called upon an Irish family whose acquaintance she had formed, + and when she was coming away, was suddenly seized, gagged, and thrust into + a close carriage, or box, as she thought, and on the evening of the next + day found herself once more consigned to the tender mercies of the Grey + Nunnery in Montreal. Her capture was effected by a priest who tracked her + to St. Albans, and watched his opportunity to seize her. She was subjected + to the most rigorous and cruel treatment, to punish her for running away, + and kept in close confinement till she feigned penitence and submission, + when she was treated less cruelly, and allowed more liberty. + </p> + <p> + "But the difficulties in the way of an escape, only stimulated her the + more to make the attempt, and she finally succeeded a second time in + getting out of that place which she described as a den of cruelty and + misery. She was successful also in eluding her pursuers, and in reaching + this city, (Worcester,) where she remained some time, seeking to avoid + notoriety, as she feared she might be again betrayed and captured. She is + now, however, in a position where she does not fear the priests, and + proposes to give to the world a history of her life in the Nunnery. The + disclosures she makes are of the most startling character, but of her + veracity and good character we have the most satisfactory evidence." + </p> + <p> + This statement was confirmed by Mrs. Pangborn, a sister of the late Mrs + Branard, the lady with whom Sarah J. Richardson stopped in St. Albans, and + by whom she was employed as a seamstress. Being an inmate of the family at + the time, Mrs Pangborn states that she had every opportunity to become + acquainted with the girl and learn her true character. The family, she + says, were all interested in her, although they knew nothing of her + secret, until a few days before she left. She speaks of her as being + "quiet and thoughtful, diligent, faithful and anxious to please, but + manifesting an eager desire for learning, that she might be able to + acquaint herself more perfectly with the Holy Scriptures. She could, at + that time, read a little, and her mind was well stored with select + passages from the sacred volume, which she seemed to take great delight in + repeating. She was able to converse intelligently upon almost any subject, + and never seemed at a loss for language to express her thoughts. No one + could doubt that nature had given her a mind capable of a high degree of + religious and intellectual culture, and that, with the opportunity for + improvement, she would become a useful member of society. Of book + knowledge she was certainly quite ignorant, but she had evidently studied + human nature to some good purpose." Mrs Pangborn also corroborates many of + the statements in her narrative. She often visited the Grey Nunnery, and + says that the description given of the building, the Academy, the Orphan's + Home, and young ladies school, are all correct. The young Smalley + mentioned in the narrative was well known to her, and also his sister + "little Sissy Smalley," as they used to call her. Inquiries have been made + of those acquainted with the route along which the fugitive passed in her + hasty flight, and we are told that the description is in general correct; + that even the mistakes serve to prove the truthfulness of the narrator, + being such as a person would be likely to make when describing from memory + scenes and places they had seen but once; whereas, if they were getting up + a fiction which they designed to represent as truth, such mistakes would + be carefully avoided. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0028" id="link2H_4_0028"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + APPENDIX I. — ABSURDITIES OF ROMANISTS. + </h2> + <p> + It may perchance be thought by some persons that the foregoing narrative + contains many things too absurd and childish for belief. "What rational + man," it may be said, "would ever think of dressing up a figure to + represent the devil, for the purpose of frightening young girls into + obedience? And those absurd threats! Surely no sane man, and certainly no + Christian teacher, would ever stoop to such senseless mummery!" + </p> + <p> + Incredible it may seem—foolish, false, inconsistent with reason, or + the plain dictates of common sense, it certainly is—but we have + before us well-authenticated accounts of transactions in which the Romish + priests claimed powers quite as extraordinary, and palmed off upon a + credulous, superstitious people stories quite as silly and ridiculous as + anything recorded in these pages. Indeed, so barefaced and shameless were + their pretensions in some instances, that even their better-informed + brethren were ashamed of their folly, and their own archbishop publicly + rebuked their dishonesty, cupidity and chicanery. In proof of this we + place before our readers the following facts which we find in a letter + from Professor Similien, of the college of Angers, addressed to the Union + de l'Ouest: + </p> + <p> + "Some years ago a pretended miracle was reported as having occurred upon a + mountain called La Salette, in the southeastern part of France, where the + Virgin Mary appeared in a very miraculous manner to two young shepherds. + The story, however, was soon proved to be a despicable trick of the + priest, and as such was publicly exposed. But the Bishop of Lucon, within + whose diocese the sacred mountain stands, appears to have been unwilling + to relinquish the advantage which he expected to result from a wide-spread + belief in this infamous fable. Accordingly, in July, 1852, it was again + reported that no less than three miracles were wrought there by the Holy + Virgin. The details were as follows: + </p> + <p> + "A young pupil at the religious establishment of the visitation of + Valence, who had been for three months completely blind from an attack of + gutta-serena, arrived at La Salette on the first of July, in company with + some sisters of the community. The extreme fatigue which she had undergone + in order to reach the summit of the mountain, at the place of the + apparition, caused some anxiety to be felt that she could not remain + fasting until the conclusion of the mass, which had not yet commenced, and + the Abbe Sibilla, one of the missionaries of La Salette, was requested to + administer the sacrament to her before the service began. She had scarcely + received the sacred wafer, when, impelled by a sudden inspiration, she + raised her head and exclaimed, 'ma bonne mere, je vous vois.' She had, in + fact, her eyes fixed on the statue of the Virgin, which she saw as clearly + as any one present For more than an hour she remained plunged in an + ecstasy of gratitude and love, and afterward retired from the place + without requiring the assistance of those who accompanied her. At the same + moment a woman from Gap, nearly sixty years of age, who for the last + nineteen years had not had the use of her right arm, in consequence of a + dislocation, suddenly felt it restored to its original state, and swinging + round the once paralyzed limb, she exclaimed, in a transport of joy and + gratitude, 'And I also am cured!' A third cure, although not + instantaneous, is not the less striking. Another woman, known in the + country for years as being paralytic, could not ascend the mountain but + with the greatest difficulty, and with the aid of crutches. On the first + day of the neuvane, that of her arrival, she felt a sensation as if life + was coming into her legs, which had been for so long time dead. This + feeling went on increasing, and the last day of the neuvane, after having + received the communion, she went, without any assistance, to the cross of + the assumption, where she hung up her crutches. She also was cured. + </p> + <p> + "Bishop Lucon must have known that this was mere imposition; yet, so far + from exposing a fraud so base, he not only permits his people to believe + it, but he lends his whole influence to support and circulate the + falsehood. And why? Ah! a church was to be erected; and it was necessary + to get up a little enthusiasm among the people in order to induce them to + fill his exhausted coffers, and build the church. In proof of this, we + have only to quote a few extracts from the 'Pastoral' which he issued on + this occasion. + </p> + <p> + "'And now," he says, "Mary has deigned to appear on the summit of a lofty + mountain to two young shepherds, revealing to them the secrets of heaven. + But who attests the truth of the narrative of these Alpine pastors? No + other than the men themselves, and they are believed. They declare what + they have seen, they repeat what they have heard, they retain what they + have received commandment to keep secret. + </p> + <p> + "A few words of the incomparable Mother of God have transformed them into + new men. Incapable of concerting aught between themselves, or of imagining + anything similar to what they relate, each is the witness to a vision + which has not found him unbelieving; each is its historian. These two + shepherds, dull as they were, have at once understood and received the + lesson which was vouchsafed to them, and it is ineffaceably engraven on + their hearts. They add nothing to it, they take nothing from it, they + modify it in nowise, they deliver the oracle of Heaven just as they have + received it. + </p> + <p> + "An admirable constancy enabled them to guard the secret, a singular + sagacity made them discern all the snares laid for them, a rare prudence + suggested to them a thousand responses, not one of which betrayed their + secret; and when at length the time came when it was their duty to make it + known to the common Father of the Faithful, they wrote correctly, as if + reading a book placed under their eyes. Their recital drew to this blessed + mountain thousands of pilgrims. + </p> + <p> + "They proclaimed that 'on Saturday, the 19th of September, 1846, Mary + manifested herself to them; and the anniversary of this glorious day is + henceforth and forever dear to Christian piety. Will not every pilgrim who + repairs to this holy mountain add his testimony to the truthfulness of + these young shepherds? Mary halted near a fountain; she communicated to it + a celestial virtue, a divine efficacy. From being intermittent, this + spring, today so celebrated, became perennial. + </p> + <p> + "'Every where is recounted the prodigies which she works. When the + afflicted are in despair, the infirm without remedy, they resort to the + waters of La Salette, and cures are wrought by this remedy, whose power + makes itself felt against every evil. Our diocess, so devoted to Mary, has + been no stranger to the bounty of this tender Mother. We are about to + celebrate shortly the sixth anniversary of this miraculous apparition. NOW + THAT A SANCTUARY IS TO BE RAISED on this holy mountain to the glory of + God, we have thought it right to inform you thereof. + </p> + <p> + "'We cannot doubt that many of you have been heard by our Lady of La + Salette; you desire to witness your gratitude to this mother of + compassion; you would gladly BRING YOUR STONE to the beautiful edifice + that is to be constructed. WE DESIRE TO FURTHER YOUR FILIAL TENDERNESS + WITH THE MEANS OF TRANSMITTING THE ALMS OF FAITH AND PIETY. For these + reasons, invoking the holy name of God, we have ordained and do ordain as + follows, viz.: + </p> + <p> + "'First, we permit the appearance of our Lady of La Salette to be preached + throughout our diocess; secondly, on Sunday, the 19th of September next + ensuing, the litanies of the Holy Virgin shall be chanted in all the + chapels and churches of the diocess, and be followed by the benediction of + the Holy Sacrament. Thirdly, THE FAITHFUL WHO MAY DESIRE TO CONTRIBUTE TO + THE ERECTION OF THE NEW SANCTUARY, MAY DEPOSIT THEIR OFFERINGS IN THE + HANDS OF THE CURE, WHO WILL TRANSMIT THEM TO US FOR THE BISHOP OF + GRENOBLE. + </p> + <p> + "'Our present pastoral letter shall be read and published after mass in + every parish on the Sunday after its reception. + </p> + <p> + "'Given at Lucon, in our Episcopal palace, under our sign-manual and the + seal of our arms, and the official counter-signature of our secretary, the + 30th of June, of the year of Grace, 1852. + </p> + <p> + "'X Jac-Mar Jos, "'Bishop of Lucon.'" + </p> + <p> + "It is not a little remarkable," says the editor of the American Christian + Union, "that whilst the Bishop of Lucon was engaged in extolling the + miracles of La Salette, the Cardinal Archbishop of Lyons, Dr. Bonald, + 'Primate of all the Gauls,' addressed a circular to all the priests in his + diocese, in which he cautions them against apocryphal miracles! There is + indubitable evidence that his grace refers to the scandalous delusions of + La Salette. His language is severe, very severe. He attributes the + miracles in question to pecuniary speculation, which now-a-days, he says, + mingles with everything, seizes upon imaginary facts, and profits by it at + the expense of the credulous! He charges the authors of these things with + being GREEDY MEN, who aim at procuring for themselves DISHONEST GAINS by + this traffic in superstitious objects! And he forbids the publishing from + the pulpit, without leave, of any account of a miracle, even though its + authenticity should be attested by another Bishop! This is good. His grace + deserves credit for setting his face against this miserable business, of + palming off false miracles upon the people." + </p> + <p> + [Footnote: Since the above was written, we have met with the following + explanation of this modern miracle: + </p> + <p> + "A few years ago there was a great stir among 'the simple faithful' in + France, occasioned by a well-credited apparition of the Holy Virgin at La + Salette. She required the erection of a chapel in her honor at that place, + and made such promises of special indulgences to all who paid their + devotions there, that it became 'all the rage' as a place of pilgrimage. + The consequence was, that other shops for the same sort of wares in that + region lost most of their customers, and the good priests who tended the + tills were sorely impoverished. In self-defence, they, WELL KNOWING HOW + SUCH THINGS WERE GOT UP, exposed the trick. A prelate publicly denounced + the imposture, and an Abbe Deleon, priest in the diocess of Grenoble, + printed a work called 'La Salette a Valley of Lies.' In this publication + it was maintained, with proofs, that the hoax was gotten up by a + Mademoiselle de Lamerliere, a sort of half-crazy nun, who impersonated the + character of the Virgin. For the injury done to her character by this book + she sued the priest for damages to the tone of twenty thousand francs, + demanding also the infliction of the utmost penalty of the law. The court, + after a long and careful investigation, for two days, as we learn by the + Catholic Herald, disposed of the case by declaring the miracle-working + damsel non-suited, and condemning her to pay the expenses of the + prosecution."—American and Foreign Christian Union.] + </p> + <p> + Another of Rome's marvellous stories we copy from the New York Daily Times + of July 3d, 1854. It is from the pen of a correspondent at Rome, who, + after giving an account of the ceremony performed in the church of St. + Peters at the canonization of a NEW SAINT, under the name of Germana, + relates the following particulars of her history. He says, "I take the + facts as they are related in a pamphlet account of her 'life, virtues, and + miracles,' published by authority at Rome: + </p> + <p> + "Germana Consin was born near the village of Pibrac, in the diocess of + Toulouse, in France. Maimed in one hand, and of a scrofulous constitution, + she excited the hatred of her step-mother, in whose power her father's + second marriage placed her while yet a child. This cruel woman gave the + little Germana no other bed than some vine twigs, lying under a flight of + stairs, which galled her limbs, wearied with the day's labor. She also + persuaded her husband to send the little girl to tend sheep in the plains, + exposed to all extremes of weather. Injuries and abuse were her only + welcome when she returned from her day's task to her home. To these + injuries she submitted with Christian meekness and patience, and she + derived her happiness and consolation from religious faith. She went every + day to church to hear mass, disregarding the distance, the difficulty of + the journey, and the danger in which she left her flock. The neighboring + forest was full of wolves, who devoured great numbers from other flocks, + but never touched a sheep in that of Germana. To go to the church she was + obliged to cross a little river, which was often flooded, but she passed + with dry feet; the waters flowing away from her on either side: howbeit no + one else dared to attempt the passage. Whenever the signal sounded for the + Ave Marie, wherever she might be in conducting her sheep, even if in a + ditch, or in mud or mire, she kneeled down and offered her devotions to + the Queen of Heaven, nor were her garments wet or soiled. The little + children whom she met in the fields she instructed in the truths of + religion. For the poor she felt the tenderest charity, and robbed herself + of her scanty pittance of bread to feed them. One day her step-mother, + suspecting that she was carrying away from the house morsels of bread to + be thus distributed, incited her husband to look in her apron; he did so, + BUT FOUND IT FULL OF FLOWERS, BEAUTIFUL BUT OUT OF SEASON, INSTEAD OF + BREAD. This miraculous conversion of bread into flowers formed the subject + of one of the paintings exhibited in St. Peter's at the Beatification. + Industrious, charitable, patient and forgiving, Germana lived a memorable + example of piety till she passed from earth in the twenty second year of + her age. The night of her death two holy monks were passing, on a journey, + in the neighborhood of her house. Late at night they saw two celestial + virgins robed in white on the road that led to her habitation; a few + minutes afterwards they returned leading between them another virgin clad + in pure white, and with a crown of flowers on her head. + </p> + <p> + "Wonders did not cease with her death. Forty years after this event her + body was uncovered, in digging a grave for another person, and found + entirely uncorrupted—nay, the blood flowed from a wound accidentally + made in her face. Great crowds assembled to see the body so miraculously + preserved, and it was carefully re-interred within the church. There it + lay in place until the French Revolution, when it was pulled up and cast + into a ditch and covered with quick lime and water. But even this failed + to injure the body of the blessed saint. It was found two years afterward + entirely unhurt, and even the grave clothes which surrounded it were + entire, as on the day of sepulture, two hundred years before. + </p> + <p> + "And now in the middle of the nineteenth century, these facts are + published for the edification of believers, and his Holiness has set his + seal to their authenticity. Four miracles performed by this saint after + her death are attested by the bull of beatification, and also by Latin + inscriptions in great letters displayed at St. Peter's on the day of this + great celebration. The monks of the monastery at Bourges, in France, + prayed her to intercede on one occasion, that their store of bread might + be multiplied; on another their store of meal; on both occasions THEIR + PRAYER WAS GRANTED. The other two miracles were cures of desperate + maladies, the diseased persons having been brought to pray over her tomb. + </p> + <p> + "On the splendid scarlet hangings, bearing the arms of Pius IX. and + suspended at the corners of the nave and transept, were two Latin + inscriptions, of similar purport, of one of which I give a translation: 'O + Germana, raised to-day to celestial honors by Pius IX. Pontifex Maximus, + since thou knowest that Pius has wept over thy nation wandering from God, + and has exultingly rejoiced at its reconciling itself with God little by + little, he prays thee intimately united with God, do thou, for thou canst + do it, make known his wishes to God, and strengthen them, for thou art + able, with the virtue of thy prayers.' + </p> + <p> + "I have been thus minute in my account of this Beatification, deeming the + facts I state of no little importance and interest, as casting light upon + the character of the Catholicism of the present day, and showing with what + matters the Spiritual and Temporal ruler of Rome is busying himself in + this year of our Lord eighteen hundred and fifty-four." + </p> + <p> + Many other examples similar to the above might be given from the history + of Catholicism as it exists at the present time in the old world. But let + us turn to our own country. We need not look to France or Rome for + examples of priestly intrigue of the basest kind; and absurdities that + almost surpass belief. The following account which we copy from The + American and Foreign Christian Union of August, 1852, will serve to show + that the priests in these United States are quite as willing to impose + upon the ignorant and credulous as, their brethren in other countries. The + article is from the pen of an Irish Missionary in the employ of The + American and Foreign Christian Union and is entitled, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + "A LYING WONDER." +</pre> + <p> + "It would seem almost incredible," says the editor of this valuable + Magazine, "that any men could be found in this country who are capable of + practising such wretched deceptions. But the account given in the + subjoined statement is too well authenticated to permit us to reject the + story as untrue, however improbable it may, at first sight, seem to be. + Here it is:—? + </p> + <p> + "Mr. Editor,—I give you, herein, some information respecting a lying + wonder wrought in Troy, New York, last winter, and respecting the female + who was the 'MEDIUM' of it. I have come to the conclusion that this female + is a Jesuit, after as good an examination as I have been able to give the + matter. I have been fed with these lying wonders in early life, and in + Ireland as well as in this country there are many who, for want of knowing + any better, will feed upon them in their hearts by faith and thanksgiving. + About the time this lying wonder of which I am about to write happened, I + had been talking of it in the office of Mr. Luther, of Albany, (coal + merchant), where were a number of Irish waiting for a job. One of these + men declared, with many curses on his soul if what he told was not true, + that he had seen a devil cast out of a woman in his own parish, in + Ireland, by the priest. I told him it would be better for his character's + sake for him to say he heard of it, than to say he SAW it. + </p> + <p> + Mr. J. W. Lockwood, a respectable merchant in Troy, New York, and son of + the late mayor, kept two or three young women as 'helps' for his lady, + last winter. The name of one is Eliza Mead, and the name of another is + Catharine Dillon, a native of the county of Limerick, Ireland. Eliza was + an upper servant, who took care of her mistress and her children. + Catharine was and is now the cook. Eliza appeared to her mistress to be a + very well educated, and a very intellectual woman of 35, though she would + try to make believe she could not write, and that she was subject to fits + of insanity. There was then presumptive evidence that she wrote a good + deal, and there is now positive evidence that she could write. She used + often, in the presence of Mrs. L., to take the Bible and other books and + read them, and would often say she thought the Protestants had a better + religion than the Catholics, and were a better people. Afterwards she told + Mrs. L. that she had doubts about the Catholic religion, and was inclined + toward the Protestant: but now she is sure, quite sure, that the Catholic + alone is the right one, FOR IT WAS REVEALED TO HER. + </p> + <p> + On the evening of the 23d of December, 1851, Eliza and Catharine were + missing;—but I will give you Catharine's affidavit about their + business from home. + </p> + <p> + "City of Troy, S. W. + </p> + <p> + "I, Catharine Dillon, say, that on Tuesday, 23d December inst, about five + o'clock in the afternoon, I went with Eliza Mead to see the priest, Mr. + McDonnel, who was at home. Eliza remained there till about six o'clock P. + M. At that time I returned home, leaving her at the priest's. At half past + eight o'clock the same evening I returned to the priest's house for Eliza, + and waited there for her till about ten o'clock of the same evening, + expecting that Eliza's conference with the priest would be ended, and that + she would come home with me. + </p> + <p> + "During the evening there had been another besides Mr. McDonnel there. + About ten o'clock this other priest retired, as I understood. Soon after + this Mr. McDonnel called me, with others, into the room where Eliza was, + when he said that she (Eliza) was POSSESSED OF THE DEVIL Mr. McDonnel then + commenced interrogating the devil, asking the devil if he possessed her. + The answer was, "Yes." The priest then asked, "How long?" and the answer + was, "Six months and nine days." The priest then asked, "Who sent you into + her?" The answer was, "Mr. Lockwood." The next question was, "When?" "When + she was asleep," was the answer. He then asked the devil if Mr. Lockwood + had ever tempted Catharine, meaning me, and the reply was, "Yes." Then the + question was, "How many times?" And the answer was, "Three times, by + offering her drink when she was asleep?" + </p> + <p> + "I came home about five o'clock in the morning, greatly shocked at what I + had seen and heard, and impressed with the belief that Eliza was possessed + with the devil. I went again to the priest's on Wednesday to find Eliza, + when the priest told me that he, Mr. McDonnel, exorcised the devil at high + mass that morning in the church, and drove the devil out of Eliza. That + he, the devil, came out of Eliza, and spat at the Holy Cross of Jesus + Christ, and departed. He then told me that, as Eliza got the devil from + Mr. Lockwood, in the house where I lived, I must leave the house + immediately, and made me promise him that I would. During the appalling + scenes of Tuesday night, Mr. McDonnel went to the other priest and called + him up, but the other priest did not come to his assistance. These answers + to the priest when he was asking questions of the devil, were given in a + very loud voice and sometimes with a loud scream." + </p> + <p> + "CATHARINE DILLON." + </p> + <p> + "Subscribed and sworn to, this 31st day of December, 1851, before me, JOB + S. OLIN, Recorder of Troy, New York." [A copy.] + </p> + <p> + At the interview between Mr. J. W. Lockwood and the Rev. Mr. McDonnel, + officiating priest at St. Peter's church, there were present Hon. James M. + Warren, T. W. Blatchford, M. D., and C. N. Lockwood, on the part of Mr. + Lockwood, and Father Kenny and Mr. Davis on the part of the Rev. Mr. + McDonnel, on the evening of the 31st December, 1851. + </p> + <p> + Mr. McDonnel at first declined answering any questions, questioning Mr. + Lockwood's right to ask them: He would only say that Eliza Mead came to + his house possessed, as she thought, with an evil spirit; that at first he + declined having anything to do with her, first, because he believed her to + be crazy; second, because he was at that moment otherwise engaged; and + thirdly, because she was not in his parish; but, by her urgent appeals in + the name of God to pray over her, he was at last induced to admit her. He + became satisfied that she was possessed of the devil, or an evil spirit, + by saying the appointed prayers of the church over her; for the spirit + manifested uneasiness when this was done; and furthermore, as she was + entering the church the following morning, she was thrown into convulsions + by Father Kenny's making the sign of the cross behind her back. At high + mass in the morning he exorcised the devil, and he left her, spitting at + the cross of Christ before taking his final departure. + </p> + <p> + As to Mr. McDonnel's repeatedly telling Catharine that she must leave Mr. + L's house immediately, for if she remained there Mr. L. would put the + devil in her, Mr. McDonnel denied saying or doing anything whatever that + was detrimental to the character of Mr. L. or any of his family. Mr. + McDonnel repeatedly refused to answer the questions put to him by Mr. L. + He considered it insulting that Mr. L. should visit his house on such + business, as no power on earth but that of the POPE had authority to + question him on such matters. But being reminded that slanderous reports + had emanated from that very house against Mr. L. he, Mr. McDonnel, said it + was all to see what kind of a man he was that brought Mr. L. there, and if + reports were exaggerated, it was nothing to him. + </p> + <p> + Mr. McDonnel said that he cleared the church before casting out the devil, + and there was but one person besides himself there. That, every word + spoken in the church was in Latin, and nobody in the church understood a + word of it. That he had heard threats made by Mr. L., also that Mr. L. had + said the pretended answers of the devil ware made through the medium of + ventriloquism. Father Kenny, in the progress of the interview, made two or + three attempts to speak, but was prevented by Mr. McDonnel. + </p> + <p> + Thus ends the report written down by Mr. L.'s brother, who was present, + immediately after the interview. It was all Latin in the church, we see; + but the low Irish will not believe that the devil could understand Latin. + However, it was not all Latin at the priest's house, where Catharine + Dillon heard what she declared on oath. How slow the priest was to admit + her (Eliza Mead) in the beginning, and to believe that she had his sable + majesty in her, until it manifested uneasiness under the cannonade of + church prayers! + </p> + <p> + "But you will ask, how could an educated priest, or an intelligent woman, + condescend to such diabolical impositions? I think it is something after + the way that a man gets to be a drunkard; he may not like the taste + thereof at first, but afterwards he will smack his lips and say, 'there is + nothing like whiskey,' and as their food becomes part of their bodily + substance, so are these 'lying wonders' converted into their spiritual + substance. So I think; I am, however, but a very humble philosopher, and + therefore I will use the diction of the Holy Spirit on the matter: 'For + this cause God shall send them strong delusions, that they should believe + a lie,' EVEN OF THEIR OWN MAKING, OR WHAT MAY EASILY BE SEEN TO BE LIES OF + OTHER'S GETTING, "that they all might be damned who believed not the + truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.'" + </p> + <p> + "JOHN MURPHEY. + </p> + <p> + "ALBANY, June 2nd, 1852." + </p> + <p> + It was said by one "that the first temptation on reading such + monstrosities as the above, is to utter a laugh of derision." But it is + with no such feeling that we place them before our readers. Rather would + we exclaim with the inspired penman, "O that my head were waters and mine + eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night" for the deluded + followers of these willfully blind leaders! Surely, no pleasure can be + found in reading or recording scenes which a pure mind can regard only + with pity and disgust. Yet we desire to prove to our readers that the + absurd threats and foolish attempts to impose upon the weak and ignorant + recorded by Sarah J. Richardson are perfectly consistent with the general + character and conduct of the Romish priests. Read for instance, the + following ridiculous story translated from Le Semeur Canadien for October + 12th, 1855. + </p> + <p> + A NEW MEANS OF CONVERSION. + </p> + <p> + In the district of Montreal lived a Canadian widow of French extraction + who had become a Protestant. Madam V—, such was the name of this + lady, lived with her daughter, the sole fruit of a union too soon + dissolved by unsparing death. Their life, full of good works, dispelled + prejudices that the inhabitants of the vicinity—all intolerant + Catholics—had always entertained against evangelical Christians; + they gained their respect, moreover, by presenting them the example of + every virtue. Two of the neighbors of the Protestant widow—who had + often heard at her house the word of God read and commented upon by one of + those ministers who visit the scattered members of their communion—talked + lately of embracing the reformed religion. In the mean while, Miss V— + died. The young Christian rested her hope upon the promises of the Saviour + who has said, "Believe in Christ and thou shall be saved." + </p> + <p> + Her spirit flew to its Creator with the confidence of an infant who throws + himself into the arms of his father. Her last moments were not tormented + by the fear of purgatory, where every Catholic believes he will suffer for + a longer or shorter time. This death strengthened the neighbors in the + resolution they had taken to leave the Catholic church. The widow buried + the remains of her daughter upon her own land, a short distance from her + house: the nearest Protestant cemetery was so far off that she was forced + to give up burying it there. + </p> + <p> + Some Catholic fanatics of the vicinity assembled secretly the day after + the funeral of Miss V— to discuss the best means for arresting the + progress that the reformed religion was making in the parish. After long + deliberation they resolved to hire a poor man to go every evening for a + whole week and groan near the grave of Miss V—-. Their object was to + make the widow and neighbors believe that the young girl was damned; and + that God permitted her to show her great unhappiness by lamentations, so + that they might avoid her fate by remaining faithful to the belief of + their fathers. In any other country than Lower Canada, those who might + have employed such means would not perhaps have had an opportunity of + seeing their enterprise crowned with success; but in our country + districts, where the people believe in ghosts and bugbears, it would + almost certainly produce the desired effect. This expedient, instead of + being ridiculous, was atrocious. The employment of it could not fail to + cause Mrs V— to suffer the most painful agonies, and her neighbors + the torments of doubt. + </p> + <p> + The credulity of the French-Canadian is the work of the clergy; they + invent and relate, in order to excite their piety, the most marvellous + things. For example: the priests say that souls in purgatory desiring + alleviation come and ask masses of their relatives, either by appearing in + the same form they had in life, or by displacing the furniture and making + a noise, as long as they have not terminated the expiation of their sins. + The Catholic clergy, by supporting these fabulous doctrines and pious + lies, lead their flock into the baleful habit of believing things the most + absurd and destitute of proof. + </p> + <p> + The day after Miss V—'s funeral, everybody in the parish was talking + of the woeful cries which had been heard the night before near her grave. + The inhabitants of the place, imbued with fantastic ideas that their + rector had kept alive, were dupes of the artifice employed by some of + their own number. They became convinced that there is no safety outside of + the church, of which they formed a part. Seized with horror they + determined never to pass a night near the grave of the cursed one, as they + already called the young Protestant. Mrs. V— by the instinctive + effect of prejudices inculcated when she was a Catholic, was at first a + prey to deadly anxiety; but recalling the holy life of her daughter, she + no longer doubted of her being among the number of the elect. She guessed + at the cause of the noise which was heard near the grave of her child. In + order to assure herself of the justness of her suspicions, she besought + the two neighbors of whom I have already spoken, to conceal themselves + there the following night. These persons were glad of an occasion to test + the accuracy of what a curate of their acquaintance had told them; who had + asserted that a spirit free from the body could yet manifest itself + substantially to the living, as speaking without tongue, touching without + hands. + </p> + <p> + They discovered the man who was paid to play the ghost; they seized him, + and in order to punish him, tied him to a tree, at the foot of which Miss + V— was buried. The poor creature the next morning no longer acted + the soul in torment, but shouted like a person who very much wanted his + breakfast. At noon one of his friends passed by who, hearing him implore + assistance, approached and set him free. Overwhelmed with questions and + derision, the false ghost confessed he had acted thus only to obtain the + reward which had been promised him. You may easily guess that the ridicule + and reprobation turned upon those who had made him their instrument. + </p> + <p> + I will not finish this narrative without telling the reader that the + curate of the place appeared much incensed at what his parishioners had + done. I am glad to be able to suppose that he condemns rather than + encourages such conduct. A Protestant friend of mine who does not + entertain the same respect for the Roman clergy that I do, advances the + opinion that the displeasure of the curate was not on account of the + culpable attempt of some of his flock but on account of its failure. + However, I must add, on my reputation as a faithful narrator, that nothing + has yet happened to confirm his assertion. + </p> + <p> + ERASTE D'ORSONNENS. + </p> + <p> + MONTREAL, September 1855. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0029" id="link2H_4_0029"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + APPENDIX II. — CRUELTY OF ROMANISTS. + </h2> + <p> + To show that the Romish priests have in all ages, and do still, inflict + upon their victims cruelties quite as severe as anything described in the + foregoing pages, and that such cruelties are sanctioned by their code of + laws, we have only to turn to the authentic history of the past and + present transactions of the high functionaries of Rome. + </p> + <p> + About the year 1356, Nicholas Eymeric, inquisitor-general of Arragon, + collected from the civil and canon laws all that related to the punishment + of heretics, and formed the "Directory of Inquisitors," the first and + indeed the fundamental code, which has been followed ever since, without + any essential variation. "It exhibits the practice and theory of the + Inquisition at the time of its sanction by the approbation of Gregory + 13th, in 1587, which theory, under some necessary variations of practice, + still remains unchanged." + </p> + <p> + From this "Directory," transcribed by the Rev. Wm. Rule of London, in + 1852, we extract a few sentences in relation to torture. + </p> + <p> + "Torture is inflicted on one who confesses the principal fact, but varies + as to circumstances. Also on one who is reputed to be a heretic, but + against whom there is only one witness of the fact. In this case common + rumor is one indication of guilt, and the direct evidence is another, + making altogether but semi-plenar proof. The torture may bring out fall + proof. Also, when there is no witness, but vehement suspicion. Also when + there is no common report of heresy, but only one witness who has heard or + seen something in him contrary to the faith. Any two indications of heresy + will justify the use of torture. If you sentence to torture, give him a + written notice in the form prescribed; but other means be tried first. Nor + is this an infallible means for bringing out the truth. Weak-hearted men, + impatient at the first pain, will confess crimes they never committed, and + criminate others at the same time. Bold and strong ones will bear the most + severe torments. Those who have been on the rack before bear it with more + courage, for they know how to adapt their limbs to it, and they resist + powerfully. Others, by enchantments, seem to be insensible, and would + rather die than confess. These wretches user for incantations, certain + passages from the Psalms of David, or other parts of Scripture, which they + write on virgin parchment in an extravagant way, mixing them with names of + unknown angels, with circles and strange letters, which they wear upon + their person. 'I know not,' says Pena, 'how this witchcraft can be + remedied, but it will be well to strip the criminals naked, and search + them narrowly, before laying them upon the rack.' While the tormentor is + getting ready, let the inquisitor and other grave men make fresh attempts + to obtain a confession of the truth. Let the tormentors TERRIFY HIM BY ALL + MEANS, TO FRIGHTEN HIM INTO CONFESSION. And after he is stripped, let the + inquisitor take him aside, and make a last effort. When this has failed, + let him be put to the question by torture, beginning with interrogation on + lesser points, and advancing to greater. If he stands out, let them show + him other instruments of torture, and threaten that he shall suffer them + also. If he will not confess; the torture may be continued on the second + or third day; but as it is not to be repeated, those successive + applications must be called CONTINUATION. And if, after all, he does not + confess, he may be set at liberty." + </p> + <p> + Rules are laid down for the punishment of those who do confess. Innocent + IV. commanded the secular judges to put heretics to torture; but that gave + occasion to scandalous publicity, and now inquisitors are empowered to do + it, and, in case of irregularity (THAT IS, IF THE PERSON DIES IN THEIR + HANDS), TO ABSOLVE EACH OTHER. And although nobles were exempt from + torture, and in some kingdoms, as Arragon, it was not used in civil + tribunals, the inquisitors were nevertheless authorized to torture, + without restriction, persons of all classes. + </p> + <p> + And here we digress from Eymeric and Pena, in order to describe, from + additional authority, of what this torture consisted, and probably, still + consists, in Italy. Limborch collects this information from Juan de Rojas, + inquisitor at Valencia. + </p> + <p> + "There were five degrees of torment as some counted (Eymeric included), or + according to others, three. First, there was terror, including the + threatenings of the inquisitor, leading to the place of torture, + stripping, and binding; the stripping of their clothing, both men and + women, with the substitution of a single tight garment, to cover part of + the person—being an outrage of every feeling of decency—and + the binding, often as distressing as the torture itself. Secondly came the + stretching on the rack, and questions attendant. Thirdly a more severe + shock, by the tension and sodden relaxation of the cord, which is + sometimes given once, but often twice, thrice, or yet more frequently." + </p> + <p> + "Isaac Orobio, a Jewish physician, related to Limborch the manner in which + he had himself been tortured, when thrown into the inquisition at Seville, + on the delation of a Moorish servant, whom he had punished for theft, and + of another person similarly offended. + </p> + <p> + "After having been in the prison of the inquisition for full three years, + examined a few times, but constantly refusing to confess the things laid + to his charge, he was at length brought out of the cell, and led through + tortuous passages to the place of torment. It was near evening. He found + himself in a subterranean chamber, rather spacious, arched over, and hung + with black cloth. The whole conclave was lighted by candles in sconces on + the walls. At one end there was a separate chamber, wherein were an + inquisitor and his notary seated at a table. The place, gloomy, intent, + and everywhere terrible, seemed to be the very home of death. Hither he + was brought, and the inquisitor again exhorted him to tell the truth + before the torture should begin. On his answering that he had already told + the truth, the inquisitor gravely protested that he was bringing himself + to the torture by his own obstinacy; and that if he should suffer loss of + blood, or even expire, during the question, the holy office would be + blameless. Having thus spoken, the inquisitor left him in the hands of the + tormentors, who stripped him, and compressed his body so tightly in a pair + of linen drawers, that he could no longer draw breath, and must have died, + had they not suddenly relaxed the pressure; but with recovered breathing + came pain unutterably exquisite. The anguish being past, they repeated a + monition to confess the truth, before the torture, as they said, should + begin; and the same was afterwards repeated at each interval. + </p> + <p> + "As Orobio persisted in denial, they bound his thumbs so tightly with + small cords that the blood burst from under the nails, and they were + swelled excessively. Then they made him stand against the wall on a small + stool, passed cords around various parts of his body, but principally + around the arms and legs, and carried them over iron pulleys in the + ceiling. The tormentor then pulled the cords with all his strength, + applying his feet to the wall, and giving the weight of his body to + increase the purchase. With these ligatures his arms and legs, fingers and + toes, were so wrung and swollen that he felt as if fire were devouring + them. In the midst of this torment the man kicked down the stool which had + supported his feet, so that he hung upon the cords with his whole weight, + which suddenly increased their tension, and gave indescribable aggravation + to his pain. Next followed a new kind of torment. An instrument resembling + a small ladder, consisting of two parallel pieces of wood, and five + transverse pieces, with the anterior edges sharpened, was placed before + him, so that when the tormentor struck it heavily, he received the stroke + five times multiplied on each shin bone, producing pain that was + absolutely intolerable, and under which he fainted. But no sooner was he + revived than they inflicted a new torture. The tormentor tied other cords + around his wrists, and having his own shoulders covered with leather, that + they might not be chafed, passed round them the rope which was to draw the + cords, set his feet against the wall, threw himself back with all his + force, and the cords cut through to the bones. This he did thrice, each + time changing the position of the cords, leaving a small distance between + the successive wounds; but it happened that in pulling the second time + they slipped into the first wounds, and caused such a gush of blood that + Orobio seemed to be bleeding to death. + </p> + <p> + "A physician and surgeon, who were in waiting as usual, to give their + opinion as to the safety or danger of continuing those operations, that + the inquisitors might not commit an irregularity by murdering the patient, + were called in. Being friends of the sufferer, they gave their opinion + that he had strength enough remaining to bear more. By this means they + saved him from a SUSPENSION of the torture, which would have been followed + by a repetition, on his recovery, under the pretext of CONTINUATION. The + cords were therefore pulled a third time, and this ended the torture. He + was dressed in his own clothes, carried back to prison, and, after about + seventy days, when the wounds were healed, condemned as one SUSPECTED of + Judaism. They could not say CONVICTED, because he had not confessed; but + they sentenced him to wear the sambenito [Footnote: This sambenito (Suco + bendito or blessed sack,) is a garment (or kind of scapulary according to + some writers,) worn by penitents of the least criminal class in the + procession of an Auto de Fe, (a solemn ceremony held by the Inquisition + for the punishment of heretics,) but sometimes worn as a punishment at + other times, that the condemned one might be marked by his neighbors, and + ever bear a signal that would affright and scare by the greatness of the + punishment and disgrace; a plan, salutary it may be, but very grievous to + the offender. It was made of yellow cloth, with a St. Andrew's cross upon + it, of red. A rope was sometimes put around the neck as an additional mark + of infamy. + </p> + <p> + "Those who were condemned to be burnt were distinguished by a habit of the + same form, called Zamarra, but instead of the red cross were painted + flames and devils, and sometimes an ugly portrait of the heretic himself,—a + head, with flames under it. Those who had been sentenced to the stake, but + indulged with commutation of the penalty, had inverted flames painted on + the livery, and this was called fuego revuelto, "inverted fire." + </p> + <p> + "Upon the head of the condemned was also placed a conical paper cap, about + three feet high, slightly resembling a mitre, called corona or crown. This + was painted with flames and devils in like manner with the dress.] or + penitential habit for two years, and then be banished for life from + Seville." + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0030" id="link2H_4_0030"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + APPENDIX III. — INQUISITION OF GOA—IMPRISONMENT OF M. DELLON, + 1673. + </h2> + <p> + "M. Dellon a French traveller, spending some time at Damaun, on the + north-western coast of Hindostan, incurred the jealousy of the governor + and a black priest, in regard to a lady, as he is pleased to call her, + whom they both admired. He had expressed himself rather freely concerning + some of the grosser superstitions of Romanism, and thus afforded the + priest, who was also secretary of the Inquisition, an occasion of + proceeding against him as a heretic. The priest and the governor united in + a representation to the chief inquisitor at Goa, which procured an order + for his arrest. Like all other persons whom it pleased the inquisitors or + their servants to arrest, in any part of the Portuguese dominions beyond + the Cape of Good Hope, he was thrown into prison with a promiscuous crowd + of delinquents, the place and treatment being of the worst kind, even + according to the colonial barbarism of the seventeenth century. To + describe his sufferings there, is not to our purpose, inasmuch as all + prisoners fared alike, many of them perishing from starvation and disease. + Many offenders against the Inquisition were there at the same time,—some + accused of Judaism, others, of Paganism—in which sorcery and + witchcraft were included—and others of immorality. In a field so + wide and so fruitful, the "scrutators" of the faith could not fail to + gather abundantly. After an incarceration of at least four months, he and + his fellow-sufferers were shipped off for the ecclesiastical metropolis of + India, all of them being in irons. The vessel put into Bacaim, and the + prisoners were transferred, for some days, to the prison of that town, + where a large number of persons were kept in custody, under charge of the + commissary of the holy office, until a vessel should arrive to carry them + to Goa. + </p> + <p> + "In due time they were again at sea, and a fair wind wafted their fleet + into that port after a voyage of seven days. Until they could be deposited + in the cells of the Inquisition with the accustomed formalities, the + Archbishop of Goa threw open HIS prison for their reception, which prison, + being ecclesiastical, may be deemed worthy of description. + </p> + <p> + "The most filthy," says Dellon, "the most dark, and the most horrible that + I ever saw; and I doubt whether a more shocking and horrible prison can be + found anywhere. It is a kind of cave wherein there is no day seen but by a + very little hole; the most subtle rays of the sun cannot enter into it, + and there is never any true light in it. The stench is extreme. * * * + </p> + <p> + "On the 16th of January 1674, at eight o'clock in the morning, an officer + came with orders to take the prisoners to "the holy house." With + considerable difficulty M. Dellon dragged his iron-loaded limbs thither. + They helped him to ascend the stairs at the great entrance, and in the + hall, smiths were waiting to take off the irons from all the prisoners. + One by one, they were summoned to audience. Dellon, who was called the + first, crossed the hall, passed through an ante-chamber, and entered a + room, called by the Portuguese "board of the holy office," where the grand + inquisitor of the Indies sat at one end of a very large table, on an + elevated floor in the middle of the chamber. He was a secular priest about + forty years of age, in full vigor—a man who could do his work with + energy. At one end of the room was a large crucifix, reaching from the + floor almost to the ceiling, and near it, sat a notary on a folding stool. + At the opposite end, and near the inquisitor, Dellon was placed, and, + hoping to soften his judge, fell on his knees before him. But the + inquisitor commanded him to rise, asked whether he knew the reason of his + arrest, and advised him to declare it at large, as that was the only way + to obtain a speedy release. Dellon caught at the hope of release, began to + tell his tale, mixed with tears and protestations, again fell at the feet + of Don Francisco Delgado Ematos, the inquisitor, and implored his + favorable attention. Don Francisco told him, very coolly, that he had + other business on hand, and, nothing moved, rang a silver bell. The + alcayde entered, led the prisoner out into a gallery, opened, and searched + his trunk, stripped him of every valuable, wrote an inventory, assured him + that all should be safely kept, and then led him to a cell about ten feet + square, and left him there, shut up in utter solitude. In the evening they + brought him his first meal, which he ate heartily, and slept a little + during the night following. Next morning he learnt that he could have no + part of his property, not even a breviary was, in that place, allowed to a + priest, for they had no form of religion there, and for that reason he + could not have a book. His hair was cropped close; and therefore "he did + not need a comb." + </p> + <p> + "Thus began his acquaintance with the holy house, which he describes as + "great and magnificent," on one side of the great space before the church + of St Catharine. There were three gates in front; and, it was by the + central, or largest, that the prisoners entered, and mounted a stately + flight of steps, leading into the great hall. The side gates provided + entrance to spacious ranges of apartments, belonging to the inquisitors. + Behind the principal building, was another, very spacious, two stories + high, and consisting of double rows of cells, opening into galleries that + ran from end to end. The cells on the ground-floor were very small, + without any aperture from without for light or air. Those of the upper + story were vaulted, white-washed, had a small strongly grated window, + without glass, and higher than the tallest man could reach. Towards the + gallery every cell was shut with two doors, one on the inside, the other + one outside of the wall. The inner door folded, was grated at the bottom, + opened towards the top for the admission of food and was made fast with + very strong bolts. The outer door was not so thick, had no window, but was + left open from six o'clock every morning until eleven—a necessary + arrangement in that climate, unless it were intended to destroy life by + suffocation. + </p> + <p> + "To each prisoner was given as earthen pot with water wherewith to wash, + another full of water to drink, with a cup; a broom, a mat whereon to lie, + and a large basin with a cover, changed every fourth day. The prisoners + had three meals a day; and their health so far as food could contribute to + it in such a place, was cared for in the provision of a wholesome, but + spare diet. Physicians were at hand to render all necessary assistance to + the sick, as were confessors, ready to wait upon the dying; but they gave + no viaticum, performed no unction, said no mass. The place was under an + impenetrable interdict. If any died, and that many did die is beyond + question, his death was unknown to all without; he was buried within the + walls without any sacred ceremony; and if, after death, he was found to + have died in heresy, his bones were taken up at the next Auto, to be + burned. Unless there happened to be an unusual number of prisoners, each + one was alone in his own cell. He might not speak, nor groan, nor sob + aloud, nor sigh. [Footnote: Limborch relates that on one occasion, a poor + prisoner was heard to cough; the jailer of the Inquisition instantly + repaired to him, and warned him to forbear, as the slightest noise was not + tolerated in that house. The poor man replied that it was not in his power + to forbear; a second time they admonished him to desist; and when again, + unable to do otherwise, he repeated the offence, they stripped him naked, + and cruelly beat him. This increased his cough, for which they beat him so + often, that at last he died through pain and anguish of the stripes he had + received.] His breathing might be audible when the guard listened at the + grating, but nothing more. Four guards were stationed in each long + gallery, open, indeed, at each end, but awfully silent, as if it were the + passage of a catacomb. If, however, he wanted anything, he might tap at + the inner door, when a jailer would come to hear the request, and would + report to the alcayde, but was not permitted to answer. If one of the + victims, in despair, or pain, or delirium, attempted to pronounce a + prayer, even to God, or dared to utter a cry, the jailers would run to the + cell, rush in, and beat him cruelly, for terror to the rest. Once in two + months the inquisitor, with a secretary and an interpreter, visited the + prisons, and asked each prisoner if he wanted anything, if his meat was + regularly brought, and if he had any complaint against the jailers. His + want after all lay at the mercy of the merciless. His complaint, if + uttered, would bring down vengeance, rather than gain redress. But in this + visitation the holy office professed mercy with much formality, and the + inquisitorial secretary collected notes which aided in the crimination, or + in the murder of their victims. + </p> + <p> + "The officers of Goa were;—the inquisidor mor or grand inquisitor, + who was always a secular priest; the second inquisitor, Dominican friar; + several deputies, who came, when called for, to assist the inquisitors at + trials, but never entered without such a summons; qualifiers, as usual, to + examine books and writings, but never to witness an examination of the + living, or be present at any act of the kind; a fiscal; a procurator; + advocates, so called, for the accused; notaries and familiars. The + authority of this tribunal was absolute in Goa. There does not appear to + have been anything peculiar in the manner of examining and torturing at + Goa where the practice coincided with that of Portugal and Spain. + </p> + <p> + "The personal narrative of Dellon affords a distinct exemplification of + the sufferings of the prisoners. He had been told that, when he desired an + audience, he had only to call a jailer, and ask it, when it would be + allowed him. But, notwithstanding many tears and entreaties, he could not + obtain one until fifteen days had passed away. Then came the alcayde and + one of his guards. This alcayde walked first out of the cell; Dellon + uncovered and shorn, and with legs and feet bare, followed him; the guard + walked behind. The alcayde just entered the place of audience, made a + profound reverence, stepped back and allowed his charge to enter. The door + closed, and Dellon remained alone with the inquisitor and secretary. He + knelt; but Don Fernando sternly bade him to sit on a bench, placed there + for the use of the culprits. Near him, on a table, lay a missal, on which + they made him lay his hand, and swear to keep secrecy, and tell them the + truth. They asked if he knew the cause of his imprisonment, and whether he + was resolved to confess it. He told them all he could recollect of + unguarded sayings at Damaun, either in argument or conversation, without + ever, that he knew, contradicting, directly or indirectly, any article of + faith. He had, at some time dropped an offensive word concerning the + Inquisition, but so light a word, that it did not occur to his + remembrance. Don Fernando told him he had done well in ACCUSING HIMSELF so + willingly, and exhorted him in the name of Jesus Christ, to complete his + self accusation fully, to the end that he might experience the goodness + and mercy which were used in that tribunal towards those who showed true + repentance by a sincere and UNFORCED confession. The secretary read aloud + the confession and exhortation, Dellon signed it, Don Fernando rang a + silver bell, the alcayde walked in, and, in a few moments, the + disappointed victim was again in his dungeon. + </p> + <p> + "At the end of another fortnight, and without having asked for it, he was + again taken to audience. After a repetition of the former questions, he + was asked his name, surname, baptism, confirmation, place of abode, in + what parish? in what diocess? under what bishop? They made him kneel, and + make the sign of the cross, repeat the Pater Noster, Hail Mary, creed, + commandments of God, commandments of the church, and Salve Begins. He did + it all very cleverly, and even to their satisfaction; but the grand + inquisitor exhorted him, by the tender mercies of our Lord Jesus Christ, + to confess without delay, and sent him to the cell again. His heart + sickened. They required him to do what was impossible—to confess + more, after he had acknowledged ALL. In despair, he tried to starve + himself to death; 'but they compelled him to take food.' Day and night he + wept, and at length betook himself to prayer, imploring pity of the + 'blessed Virgin,' whom he imagined to be, of all beings, the most + merciful, and the most ready to give him help. + </p> + <p> + "At the end of a month, he succeeded in obtaining another audience, and + added to his former confessions what he had remembered, for the first + time, touching the Inquisition. But they told him that that was not what + they wanted, and sent him back again. This was intolerable. In a frenzy of + despair he determined to commit suicide, if possible. Feigning sickness, + be obtained a physician who treated him for a fever, and ordered him to be + bled. Never calmed by any treatment of the physician, blood-letting was + repeated often, and each time he untied the bandage, when left alone, + hoping to die from loss of blood, but death fled from him. A humane + Franciscan came to confess him, and, hearing his tale of misery, gave him + kind words, asked permission to divulge his attempt at self-destruction to + the inquisitor, procured him a mitigation of solitude by the presence of a + fellow-prisoner, a negro, accused of magic; but, after five months, the + negro was removed, and his mind, broken with suffering, could no longer + bear up under the aggravated load. By an effort of desperate ingenuity he + almost succeeded in committing suicide, and a jailer found him weltering + in his blood and insensible. Having restored him by cordials, and bound up + his wounds, they carried him into the presence of the inquisitor once + more; where he lay on the floor, being unable to sit, heard bitter + reproaches, had his limbs confined in irons, and was thus carried back to + a punishment that seemed more terrible than death. In fetters he became so + furious, that they found it necessary to take them off, and, from that + time, his examinations assumed another character, as he defended his + positions with citations from the Council of Trent, and with some passages + of scripture, which he explained in the most Romish sense, discovering a + depth of ignorance in Don Fernando that was truly surprising. That 'grand + Inquisitor,' had never heard the passage which Dellon quoted to prove the + doctrine of baptismal regeneration, 'Except a man be born of water and of + the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.' Neither did he know + anything of that famous passage in the twenty-fifth session of the Council + of Trent, which declares that images are only to be reverenced on account + of the persons whom they represent. He called for a Bible, and for the + acts of the council, and was evidently surprised when he found them where + Dellon told him they might be seen. + </p> + <p> + "The time for a general auto drew near. During the months of November and + December, 1675, he heard every morning the cries of persons under torture, + and afterwards saw many of them, both men and women, lame and distorted by + the rack. On Sunday January 11th, 1676, he was surprised by the jailer + refusing to receive his linen to be washed—Sunday being washing-day + in the 'holy house.' While perplexing himself to think what that could + mean, the cathedral bells rang for vespers, and then, contrary to custom, + rang again for matins. He could only account for that second novelty by + supposing that an auto would be celebrated the next day. They brought him + supper, which he refused, and, contrary to their wont at all other times, + they did not insist on his taking it, but carried it away. Assured that + those were all portents of the horrible catastrophe, and reflecting on + often-repeated threats in the audience chamber that he should be burnt, he + gave himself up to death, and overwhelmed with sorrow, fell asleep a + little before midnight. + </p> + <p> + "Scarcely had he fallen asleep when the alcayde and guards entered the + cell, with great noise, bringing a lamp, for the first time since his + imprisonment that they had allowed a lamp to shine there. The alcayde, + laying down a suit of clothes, bade him put them on, and be ready to go + out when he came again. At two o'clock in the morning they returned, and + he issued from the cell, clad in a black vest and trowsers, striped with + white, and his feet bare. About two hundred prisoners, of whom he was one, + were made to sit on the floor, along the sides of a spacious gallery, all + in the same black livery, and just visible by the gleaming of a few lamps. + A large company of women were also ranged in a neighboring gallery in like + manner. But they were all motionless, and no one knew his doom. Every eye + was fixed, and each one seemed benumbed with misery. + </p> + <p> + "A third company Dellon perceived in a room not far distant, but they were + walking about, and some appeared to have long habits. Those were persons + condemned to be delivered to the secular arm, and the long habits + distinguished confessors busily collecting confessions in order to commute + that penalty for some other scarcely less dreadful. At four o'clock, + servants of the house came, with guards, and gave bread and figs to those + who would accept the refreshment. One of the guards gave Dellon some hope + of life by advising him to take what was offered, which he had refused to + do. 'Take your bread,' said the man, 'and if you cannot eat it now, put it + in your pocket; you will be certainly hungry before you return.' This gave + hope, that he should not end the day at the stake, but come back to + undergo penance. + </p> + <p> + "A little before sunrise, the great bell of the cathedral tolled, and its + sound soon aroused the city of Goa. The people ran into the streets, + lining the chief thoroughfares, and crowding every place whence a view + could be had of the procession. Day broke, and Dellon saw the faces of his + fellow-prisoners, most of whom were Indians. He could only distinguish, by + their complexion, about twelve Europeans. Every countenance exhibited + shame, fear, grief, or an appalling blackness of apathy, AS IF DIRE + SUFFERING IN THE LIGHTLESS DUNGEONS UNDERNEATH HAD BEREFT THEM OF + INTELLECT. The company soon began to move, but slowly, as one by one the + alcayde led them towards the door of the great hall, where the grand + inquisitor sat, and his secretary called the name of each as he came, and + the name of a sponsor, who also presented himself from among a crowd of + the bettermost inhabitants of Goa, assembled there for that service. 'The + general of the Portuguese ships in the Indies' had the honor of placing + himself beside our Frenchman. As soon as the procession was formed, it + marched off in the usual order. + </p> + <p> + "First, the Dominicans, honored with everlasting precedence on all such + occasions, led the way. Singing-boys also preceded, chanting a litany. The + banner of the Inquisition was intrusted to their hands. After the banner + walked the penitents—a penitent and a sponsor, two and two. A cross + bearer brought up the train, carrying a crucifix aloft, turned towards + them, in token of pity; and, on looking along the line, you might have + seen another priest going before the penitents with a crucifix turned + backwards, inviting their devotions. They to whom the Inquisition no + longer afforded mercy, walked behind the penitents, and could only see an + averted crucifix. These were condemned to be burnt alive at the stake! On + this occasion there were but two of this class, but sometimes a large + number were sentenced to this horrible death, and presented to the + spectator a most pitiable spectacle. Many of them bore upon their persons + the marks of starvation, torture, terror, and heart-rending grief. Some + faces were bathed in tears, while others came forth with a smile of + conquest on the countenance and words of triumphant faith bursting from + the lips. These, however, were known as dogmatizers, and were generally + gagged, the month being filled with a piece of wood kept in by a strong + leather band fastened behind the head, and the arms tied together behind + the back. Two armed familiars walked or rode beside each of these, and two + ecclesiastics, or some other clerks or regulars, also attended. After + these, the images of heretics who had escaped were carried aloft, to be + thrown into the flames; and porters came last, tagging under the weight of + boxes containing the disinterred bodies on which the execution of the + church had fallen, and which were also to be burnt. + </p> + <p> + "Poor Dellon went barefoot, like the rest, through the streets of Goa, + rough with little flint stones scattered about, and sorely were his feet + wounded during an hour's march up and down the principal streets. Weary, + covered with shame and confusion, the long train of culprits entered the + church of St. Francis, where preparation was made for the auto, the + climate of India not permitting a celebration of that solemnity under the + burning sky. They sat with their sponsors, in the galleries prepared, + sambenitos, grey zamarras with painted flames and devils, corozas, tapers, + and all the other paraphernalia of an auto, made up a woeful spectacle. + The inquisitor and other personages having taken their seats of state, the + provincial of the Augustinians mounted the pulpit and delivered the + sermon. Dellon preserved but one note of it. The preacher compared the + Inquisition to Noah's ark, which received all sorts of beasts WILD, but + sent them out TAME. The appearance of hundreds who had been inmates of + that ark certainly justified the figure. + </p> + <p> + "After the sermon, two readers went up, one after the other, into the same + pulpit, and, between them, they read the processes and pronounced the + sentences, the person standing before them, with the alcayde, and holding + a lighted taper in his hand. Dellon, in turn, heard the cause of his + long-suffering. He had maintained the invalidity of baptismus flaminis, or + desire to be baptised, when there is no one to administer the rite of + baptism by water. He had said that images ought not to be adored, and that + an ivory crucifix was a piece of ivory. He had spoken contemptuously of + the Inquisition. And, above all, he had an ill intention. His punishment + was to be confiscation of his property, banishment from India, and five + years' service in the galleys in Portugal, with penance, as the + inquisitors might enjoin. As all the prisoners were excommunicate, the + inquisitor, after the sentence had been pronounced, put on his alb and + stole, walked into the middle of the church, and absolved them all at + once. Dellon's sponsor, who would not even answer him before, when he + spoke, now embraced him, called him brother, and gave him a pinch of + snuff, in token of reconciliation. + </p> + <p> + "But there were two persons, a man and a woman, for whom the church had no + more that they could do; and these, with four dead bodies, and the + effigies of the dead, were taken to be burnt on the Campo Santo Lazaro, on + the river side, the place appointed for that purpose, that the viceroy + might see justice done on the heretics, as he surveyed the execution from + his palace-windows." + </p> + <p> + The remainder of Dellon's history adds nothing to what we have already + heard of the Inquisition. He was taken to Lisbon, and, after working in a + gang of convicts for some time, was released on the intercession of some + friends in France with the Portuguese government. With regard to his + despair, and attempts to commit suicide, when in the holy house, we may + observe that, as he states, suicide was very frequent there. The contrast + of his disconsolate impatience with the resignation and constancy of + Christian confessors in similar circumstances, is obvious. As a striking + illustration of the difference between those who suffer without a + consciousness of divine favor, and those who rejoice with joy unspeakable + and full of glory, we would refer the reader to that noble band of martyrs + who suffered death at the stake, at the Auto held in Seville, on Sunday, + September 24, 1559. At that time twenty-one were burnt, followed by one + effigy, and eighteen penitents, who were released. + </p> + <p> + "One of the former was Don Juan Gonzales, Presbyter of Seville, an eminent + preacher. With admirable constancy he refused to make any declaration, in + spite of the severe torture, saying that he had not followed any erroneous + opinions, but that he had drawn his faith from the holy Scriptures; and + for this faith he pleaded to his tormentors in the words of inspiration. + He maintained that he was not a heretic, but a Christian, and absolutely + refused to divulge anything that would bring his brethren into trouble. + Two sisters of his were also brought out to this Auto, and displayed equal + faith. They would confess Christ, they said, and suffer with their + brother, whom they revered as a wise and holy man. They were all tied to + stakes on the quemadero, a piece of pavement, without the walls of the + city, devoted to the single use of burning human victims. Sometimes this + quemadero [Footnote: Llorente, the historian of the Spanish Inquisition, + says, "So many persons were to be put to death by fire, the governor of + Seville caused a permanent raised platform of masonry to be constructed + outside the city, which has lasted to our time (until the French + revolution) retaining its name of Quemadero, or burning-place, and at the + four corners four large hollow stalutes of limestone, within which they + used to place the impenitent alive, that they might die by slow fires."] + was a raised platform of stone, adorned with pillows or surrounded with + statues, to distinguish and beautify the spot. Just as the fire was lit, + the gag, which had hitherto silenced Don Juan, was removed, and as the + flames burst from the fagots, he said to his sisters, 'Let us sing, Deus + laudem meam ne tacueris.' And they sang together, while burning, 'Hold not + thy peace, O God of my praise; for the mouth of the wicked and the mouth + of the deceitful are opened against me: they have spoken against me with a + lying tongue.' Thus they died in the faith of Christ, and of his holy + gospel." + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0031" id="link2H_4_0031"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + APPENDIX IV. — INQUISITION OF GOA, CONCLUDED. + </h2> + <p> + The Inquisition of Goa continued its Autos for a century after the affair + of Dellon. In the summer of 1808, Dr. Claudius Buchanan visited that city, + and had been unexpectedly invited by Joseph a Doloribus, second and most + active inquisitor, to lodge with him during his visit. Not without some + surprise, Dr. Buchanan found himself, heretic, schismatic, and rebel as he + was, politely entertained by so dread a personage. Regarding his English + visitor merely as a literary man, or professing to do so, Friar Joseph, + himself well educated, seemed to enjoy his company, and was unreservedly + communicative on every subject not pertaining to his own vocation. When + that subject was first introduced by an apparently incidental question, he + did not hesitate to return the desired information, telling Dr. Buchanan + that the establishment was nearly as extensive as in former times. In the + library of the chief inquisitor he saw a register containing the names of + all the officers, who still were numerous. + </p> + <p> + On the second evening after his arrival, the doctor was surprised to see + his host come from his apartment, clothed in black robes from head to + foot, instead of white, the usual color of his order (Augustinian). He + said that he was going to sit on the tribunal of the holy office, and it + transpired that, so far from his "august office" not occupying much of his + time, he had to sit there three or four days every week. After his return, + in the evening, the doctor put Dellon's book into his hand, asking him if + he had ever seen it. He had never seen it before, and, after reading aloud + and slowly, "Relation de l'Inquisition de Goa," began to peruse it with + eagerness. + </p> + <p> + While Dr. Buchanan employed himself in writing, Friar Joseph devoured page + after page; but as the narrative proceeded, betrayed evident symptoms of + uneasiness. He then turned to the middle, looked at the end, skimmed over + the table of contents, fixed on its principal passages, and at one place + exclaimed, in his broad Italian accent, "Mendacium! mendacium.'" The + doctor requested him to mark the passages that were untrue, proposed to + discuss them afterwards, and said he had other books on the subject. The + mention of other books startled him; he looked up anxiously at some books + on the table, and then gave himself up to the perusal of Dellon's + "Relation," until bedtime. Even then, he asked permission to take it to + his chamber. + </p> + <p> + The doctor had fallen asleep under the roof of the inquisitor's convent, + confident, under God, in the protection at that time guaranteed to a + British subject, his servants sleeping in the gallery outside the + chamber-door. About midnight, he was waked by loud shrieks and expressions + of terror from some one in the gallery. In the first moment of surprise, + he concluded it must be the alguazils of the holy office seizing his + servants to carry them to the Inquisition. But, on going out, he saw the + servants standing at the door, and the person who had caused the alarm, a + boy of about fourteen, at a little distance, surrounded by some of the + priests, who had come out of their cells on hearing the noise. The boy + said he had seen a spectre; and it was a considerable time before the + agitations of his body and voice subsided. Next morning at breakfast, the + inquisitor apologized for the disturbance, and said the boy's alarm + proceeded from a phantasma animi,—phantom of the imagination. + </p> + <p> + It might have been so. Phantoms might well haunt such a place. As to + Dellon's book, the inquisitor acknowledged that the descriptions were + just; but complained that he had misjudged the motives of the inquisitors, + and written uncharitably of Holy Church. Their conversation grew earnest, + and the inquisitor was anxious to impress his visitor with the idea that + the Inquisition had undergone a change in some respects, and that its + terrors were mitigated. At length Dr. Buchanan plainly requested to see + the Inquisition, that he might judge for himself as to the humanity shown + to the inmates,—according to the inquisitor,—and gave, as a + reason why he should be satisfied, his interest in the affairs of India, + on which he had written, and his purpose to write on them again, in which + case he could scarcely be silent concerning the Inquisition. The + countenance of his host fell; but, after some further observations, he + reluctantly promised to comply. Next morning, after breakfast, Joseph a + Doloribus went to dress for the holy office, and soon returned in his + black robes. He said he would go half an hour before the usual time, for + the purpose of showing him the Inquisition. The doctor fancied he looked + more severe than usual, and that his attendants were not as civil as + before. But the truth was, that the midnight scene still haunted him. They + had proceeded in their palanquins to the holy house, distant about a + quarter of a mile from the convent, and the inquisitor said as they were + ascending the steps of the great entrance, that he hoped the doctor would + be satisfied with a transient view of the Inquisition, and would retire + when he should desire him to do so. The doctor followed with tolerable + confidence, towards the great hall aforementioned, where they were met by + several well-dressed persons, familiars, as it afterwards appeared, who + bowed very low to the inquisitor, and looked with surprise at the + stranger. Dr. Buchanan paced the hall slowly, and in thoughtful silence; + the inquisitor thoughtful too, silent and embarrassed. A multitude of + victims seemed to haunt the place, and the doctor could not refrain from + breaking silence. "Would not the Holy Church wish, in her mercy, to have + those souls back again, that she might allow them a little further + probation?" The inquisitor answered nothing, but beckoned him to go with + him to a door at one end of the hall. By that door he conducted him to + some small rooms, and thence, to the spacious apartments of the chief + inquisitor. Having surveyed those, he brought him back again to the great + hall, and seemed anxious that the troublesome visitor should depart; but + only the very words of Dr. B. can adequately describe the close of this + extraordinary interview." + </p> + <p> + "Now, father," said I, "lead me to the dungeons below: I want to see the + captives." "No," said he, "that cannot be." I now began to suspect that it + had been in the mind of the inquisitor, from the beginning, to show me + only a certain part of the Inquisition, in the hope of satisfying my + inquiries in a general way. I urged him with earnestness; but he steadily + resisted, and seemed offended, or, rather, agitated, by my importunity. I + intimated to him plainly, that the only way to do justice to his own + assertion and arguments regarding the present state of the Inquisition, + was to show me the prisons and the captives. I should then describe only + what I saw; but now the subject was left in awful obscurity. "Lead me + down," said I, "to the inner building, and let me pass through the two + hundred dungeons, ten feet square, described by your former captives. Let + me count the number of your present captives, and converse with them. I + WANT, TO SEE IF THERE BE ANY SUBJECTS OF THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT, TO WHOM + WE OWE PROTECTION. I want to ask how long they have been there, how long + it is since they have seen the light of the sun, and whether they ever + expect to see it again. Show me the chamber of torture, and declare what + modes of execution or punishment are now practiced inside the walls of the + Inquisition, in lieu of the public Auto de Fe. If, after all that has + passed, father, you resist this reasonable request, I should be justified + in believing that you are afraid of exposing the real state of the + Inquisition in India." + </p> + <p> + To these observations the inquisitor made no reply; but seemed impatient + that I should withdraw. "My good father," said I; "I am about to take my + leave of you, and to thank you for your hospitable attentions; and I wish + to preserve on my mind a favorable sentiment of your kindness and candor. + You cannot, you say, show me the captives and the dungeons; be pleased, + then, merely to answer this question, for I shall believe your word: how + many prisoners are there now below in the cells of the Inquisition?" He + replied, "That is a question which I cannot answer." On his pronouncing + these words, I retired hastily towards the door, and wished him farewell. + We shook hands with as much cordiality as we could, at the moment, assume; + and both of us, I believe, were sorry that our parting took place with a + clouded countenance. + </p> + <p> + After leaving the inquisitor, Dr. Buchanan, feeling as if he could not + refrain from endeavoring to get another and perhaps a nearer view, + returned to avail himself of the pretext afforded by a promise from the + chief inquisitor, of a letter to one of the British residents at + Travancore, in answer to one which he had brought him from that officer. + The inquisitors he expected to find within, in the "board of the holy + office." The door-keepers surveyed him doubtfully, but allowed him to + pass. He entered the great hall, went up directly to the lofty crucifix + described by Dellon, sat down on a form, wrote some notes, and then + desired an attendant to carry in his name to the inquisitor. As he was + walking across the hall, he saw a poor woman sitting by the wall. She + clasped her hands, and looked at him imploringly. The sight chilled his + spirits; and as he was asking the attendants the cause of her + apprehension,—for she was awaiting trial,—Joseph a Doloribus + came, in answer to his message, and was about to complain of the + intrusion, when he parried the complaint by asking for the letter from the + chief inquisitor. He promised to send it after him, and conducted him to + the door. As they passed the poor woman, the doctor pointed to her, and + said with emphasis, "Behold, father, another victim of the Holy + Inquisition." The other answered nothing; they bowed, and separated + without a word. + </p> + <p> + When Dr. Buchanan published his "Christian Researches in Asia," in the + year 1812, the Inquisition still existed at Goa; but the establishment of + constitutional government in Portugal, put an end to it throughout the + whole Portuguese dominions. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0032" id="link2H_4_0032"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + APPENDIX V. — INQUISITION AT MACERATA, ITALY. NARRATIVE OF MR. + BOWER. METH. MAG. THIRD + </h2> + <p> + VOL. + </p> + <p> + I never pretended that it was for the sake of religion alone, that I left + Italy, On the contrary, I have often declared, that, had I never belonged + to the Inquisition, I should have gone on, as most Roman Catholics do, + without ever questioning the truth of the religion I was brought up in, or + thinking of any other. But the unheard of cruelties of that hellish + tribunal shocked me beyond all expression, and rendered me,—as I was + obliged, by my office of Counsellor, to be accessary to them,—one of + the most unhappy men upon earth. I therefore began to think of resigning + my office; but as I had on several occasions, betrayed some weakness as + they termed it, that is, some compassion and humanity, and had upon that + account been reprimanded by the Inquisitor, I was well apprized that my + resignation would be ascribed by him to my disapproving the proceedings of + the holy tribunal. And indeed, to nothing else could it be ascribed, as a + place at that board was a sure way to preferment, and attended with great + privileges, and a considerable salary. Being, therefore, sensible how + dangerous a thing it would be to give the least ground for any suspicions + of that nature, and no longer able to bear the sight of the many + barbarities practised almost daily within those walls, nor the reproaches + of my conscience for being accessary to them, I determined, after many + restless nights, and much deliberation, to withdraw at the same time from + the Inquisition, and from Italy. In this mind, and in the most unhappy and + tormenting situation that can possibly be imagined, I continued near a + twelve-month, not able to prevail on myself to execute the resolution I + had taken on account of the many dangers which I foresaw would inevitably + attend it, and the dreadful consequences of my failing in the attempt. + But, being in the mean time ordered by the Inquisitor, to apprehend a + person with whom I had lived in the greatest intimacy and friendship, the + part I was obliged to act on that occasion, left so deep an impression on + my mind as soon prevailed over all my fears, and made me determine to put + into execution, at all events, and without delay, the design I had formed. + Of that transaction I shall give a particular account, as it will show in + a very strong light the nature and proceedings of that horrid court. + </p> + <p> + The person whom the Inquisitor appointed me to apprehend was Count Vicenzo + della Torre, descended from an illustrious family in Germany, and + possessed of a very considerable estate in the territory of Macerata. He + was one of my very particular friends, and had lately married the daughter + of Signior Constantini, of Fermo, a lady no less famous for her good sense + than her beauty. With her family too, I had contracted an intimate + acquaintance, while Professor of Rhetoric in Fermo, and had often attended + the Count during his courtship, from Macerata to Fermo, but fifteen miles + distant. I therefore lived with both in the greatest friendship and + intimacy; and the Count was the only person that lived with me, after I + was made Counsellor of the Inquisition, upon the same free footing as he + had done till that time. My other friends had grown shy of me, and gave me + plainly to understand that they no longer cared for my company. + </p> + <p> + As this unhappy young gentleman was one day walking with another, he met + two Capuchin friars, and turning to his companion, when they had passed, + "what fools," said he, "are these, to think they shall gain heaven by + wearing sackcloth and going barefoot! Fools indeed, if they think so, or + that there is any merit in tormenting one's self; they might as well live + as we do, and they would get to heaven quite as soon." Who informed + against him, whether the friars, his companion, or somebody else, I know + not; for the inquisitors never tell the names of informers to the + Counsellors, nor the names of the witnesses, lest they should except + against them. It is to be observed, that all who hear any proposition that + appears to them repugnant to, or inconsistent with the doctrines of holy + mother church, are bound to reveal it to the Inquisitor, and also to + discover the person by whom it was uttered; and, in this affair no regard + is to be had to any ties, however sacred. The brother being bound to + accuse the brother, the father the son, the son the father, the wife her + husband, and the husband his wife; and all bound on pain of eternal + damnation, and of being treated as accomplices if they do not denounce in + a certain time; and no confessor can absolve a person who has heard + anything said in jest or in earnest, against the belief or practice of the + church, till that person has informed the Inquisitor of it, and given him + all the intelligence he can concerning the person by whom it was spoken. + </p> + <p> + Whoever it was that informed against my unhappy friend, whether the + friars, his companion, or somebody else who might have overheard him, the + Inquisitor acquainted the board one night, (for to be less observed, they + commonly meet, out of Rome, in the night) that the above mentioned + propositions had been advanced, and advanced gravely, at the sight of two + poor Capuchins; that the evidence was unexceptionable; and that they were + therefore met to determine the quality of the proposition, and proceed + against the delinquent. + </p> + <p> + There are in each Inquisition twelve Counsellors, viz: four Divines, four + Canonists, and four Civilians. It is chiefly the province of the divines + to determine the quality of the proposition, whether it is heretical, or + only savors of heresy; whether it is blasphemous and injurious to God and + His saints or only erroneous, rash, schismatical, or offensive to pious + ears. The part of the proposition, "Fools! if they think there is any + merit in tormenting one's self," was judged and declared heretical, as + openly contradicting the doctrine and practice of holy mother church + recommending austerities as highly meritorious. The Inquisitor observed, + on this occasion, that by the proposition, "Fools indeed" &c., were + taxing with folly, not only the holy fathers, who had all to a man + practised great austerities, but St. Paul himself as the Inquisitor + understood it, adding that the practice of whipping one's self, so much + recommended by all the founders of religious orders, was borrowed of the + great apostle of the gentiles. + </p> + <p> + The proposition being declared heretical, it was unanimously agreed by the + board that the person who had uttered it should be apprehended, and + proceeded against agreeably to the laws of the Inquisition. And now the + person was named; for, till it is determined whether the accused person + should or should not be apprehended, his name is kept concealed from the + counsellors, lest they should be biased, says the directory, in his favor, + or against him. For, in many instances, they keep up an appearance of + justice and equity, at the same time that, in truth, they act in direct + opposition to all the known laws of justice and equity. No words can + express the concern and astonishment it gave me to hear, on such an + occasion, the name of a friend for whom I had the greatest esteem and + regard. The Inquisitor was apprised of it; and to give me an opportunity + of practising what he had so often recommended to me, viz. conquering + nature with the assistance of grace, he appointed me to apprehend the + criminal, as he styled him, and to lodge him safe, before daylight, in the + prison of the holy inquisition. I offered to excuse myself, but with the + greatest submission, from being in any way concerned in the execution of + that order; an order, I said, which I entirely approved of, but only + wished it might be put in execution by some other person; for your + lordship knows, I said, the connection. But the Inquisitor shocked at the + word, said with a stern look and angry tone of voice, "What! talk of + connections where the faith is concerned? There is your guard," (pointing + to the Sbirri or bailiffs in waiting) "let the criminal be secured in St. + Luke's cell," (one of the worst,) "before three in the morning." He then + withdrew, and as he passed me said, "Thus, nature is conquered." I had + betrayed some weakness or sense of humanity, not long before, in fainting + away while I attended the torture of one who was racked with the utmost + barbarity, and I had on that occasion been reprimanded by the Inquisitor + for suffering nature to get the better of grace; it being an inexcusable + weakness, as he observed, to be in any degree affected with the suffering + of the body, however great, when afflicted, as they ever are in the Holy + Inquisition, for the good of the soul. And it was, I presume, to make + trial of the effect of that reprimand, that the execution of this cruel + order was committed to me. As I could by no possible means decline it, I + summoned all my resolution, after passing an hour by myself, I may say in + the agonies of death, and set out a little after two in the morning for my + unhappy friend's house, attended by a notary of the Inquisition, and six + armed Sbirri. We arrived at the house by different ways and knocking at + the door, a maid-servant looked out of the window, and asked who knocked. + "The Holy Inquisition," was the answer, and at the same time she was + ordered to awake nobody, but to come down directly and open the door, on + pain of excommunication. At these words, the servant hastened down, half + naked as she was, and having with much ado, in her great fright, opened + the door, she conducted us as she was ordered to her master's chamber. She + often looked very earnestly at me, as she knew me, and showed a great + desire to speak with me; but of her I durst take no kind of notice. I + entered the bed-chamber with the notary, followed by the Sbirri, when the + lady awakening at the noise, and seeing the bed surrounded by armed men, + screamed out aloud and continued screaming as out of her senses, till one + of the Sbirri, provoked at the noise gave her a blow on the forehead that + made the blood flow, and she swooned away. I rebuked the fellow severely, + and ordered him to be whipped as soon as I returned to the Inquisition. + </p> + <p> + In the mean time, the husband awakening, and seeing me with my attendants, + cried out, in the utmost surprise, "MR. BOWER!" He said no more, nor could + I for some time utter a single word; and it was with much ado that, in the + end I so far mastered my grief as to be able to let my unfortunate friend + know that he was a prisoner of the Holy Inquisition. "Of the Holy + Inquisition!" he replied. "Alas I what have I done? My dear friend, be my + friend now." He said many affecting things; but as I knew it was not in my + power to befriend him, I had not the courage to look him in the face, but + turning my back to him, withdrew, while he dressed, to a corner of the + room, to give vent to my grief. The notary stood by, quite unaffected. + Indeed, to be void of all humanity, to be able to behold one's + fellow-creatures groaning under the most exquisite torments cruelty can + invent, without being in the least affected with their sufferings, is one + of the chief qualifications of an inquisitor, and what all who belong to + the Inquisition must strive to attain to. It often happens, at that + infernal tribunal, that while the unhappy, and probably innocent, person + is crying out in their presence on the rack, and begging by all that is + sacred for one moment's relief, in a manner one would think no human heart + could withstand, it often happens, I say, that the inquisitor and the rest + of his infamous crew, quite unaffected with his complaints, and deaf to + his groans, to his tears and entreaties, are entertaining one another with + the news of the town; nay, sometimes they even insult, with unheard of + barbarity, the unhappy wretches in the height of their torment. + </p> + <p> + To return to my unhappy prisoner. He was no sooner dressed than I ordered + the Bargello, or head of the Sbirri, to tie his hands with a cord behind + his back, as is practised on such occasions without distinction of + persons; no more regard being paid to men of the first rank, when charged + with heresy, than to the meanest offender. Heresy dissolves all + friendship; so that I durst no longer look upon the man with whom I had + lived in the greatest friendship and intimacy as my friend, or show him, + on that account, the least regard or indulgence. + </p> + <p> + As we left the chamber, the countess, who had been conveyed out of the + room, met us, and screaming out in the most pitiful manner upon seeing her + husband with his hands tied behind his back like a thief or robber, flew + to embrace him, and hanging on his neck, begged, with a flood of tears, we + would be so merciful as to put an end to her life, that she might have the + satisfaction—the only satisfaction she wished for in this world, of + dying in the bosom of the man from whom she had vowed never to part. The + count, overwhelmed with grief, did not utter a single word. I could not + find it in my heart, nor was I in a condition to interpose; and indeed a + scene of greater distress was never beheld by human eyes. However, I gave + a signal to the notary to part them, which he did accordingly, quite + unconcerned; but the countess fell into a swoon, and the count was + meantime carried down stairs, and out of the house, amid the loud + lamentations and sighs of his servants, on all sides, for he was a man + remarkable for the sweetness of his temper, and his kindness to all around + him. + </p> + <p> + Being arrived at the Inquisition, I consigned my prisoner into the hands + of a gaoler, a lay brother of St. Dominic, who shut him up in the dungeon + above-mentioned, and delivered the key to me. I lay that night at the + palace of the Inquisition, where every counsellor has a room, and returned + next morning the key to the inquisitor, telling him that his order had + been punctually complied with. The inquisitor had been already informed of + my conduct by the notary, and therefore, upon my delivering the key to + him, he said, "You have acted like one who is at least desirous to + overcome, with the assistance of grace, the inclinations of nature;" that + is, like one who is desirous, by the assistance of grace, to metamorphose + himself from a human creature into a brute or a devil. + </p> + <p> + In the Inquisition, every prisoner is kept the first week of his + imprisonment in a dark narrow dungeon, so low that he cannot stand upright + in it, without seeing anybody but the gaoler, who brings him, EVERY OTHER + DAY, his portion of bread and water, the only food allowed him. This is + done, they say, to tame him, and render him, thus weakened, more sensible + of the torture, and less able to endure it. At the end of the week, he is + brought in the night before the board to be examined; and on that occasion + my poor friend appeared so altered, in a week's time, that, had it not + been for his dress, I should not have known him. And indeed no wonder; a + change of condition so sudden and unexpected; the unworthy and barbarous + treatment he had already met with; the apprehension of what he might and + probably should suffer; and perhaps, more than anything else, the + distressed and forlorn condition of his once happy wife, whom he tenderly + loved, whose company he had enjoyed only six months, could be attended + with no other effect. + </p> + <p> + Being asked, according to custom, whether he had any enemies, and desired + to name them, he answered, that he bore enmity to no man, and he hoped no + man bore enmity to him. For, as in the Inquisition the person accused is + not told of the charge brought against him, nor of the person by whom it + is brought, the inquisitor asks him if he has any enemies, and desires him + to name them. If he names the informer, all further proceedings are + stopped until the informer is examined anew; and if the information is + found to proceed from ill-will and no collateral proof can be produced, + the prisoner is discharged. Of this piece of justice they frequently + boast, at the same time that they admit, both as informers and witnesses, + persons of the most infamous characters, and such as are excluded by all + other courts. In the next place, the prisoner is ordered to swear that he + will declare the truth, and conceal nothing from the holy tribunal, + concerning himself or others, that he knows and the holy tribunal desires + to know. He is then interrogated for what crime he has been apprehended + and imprisoned by the Holy Court of the Inquisition, of all courts the + most equitable, the most cautious, the most merciful. To that + interrogatory the count answered, with a faint and trembling voice, that + he was not conscious to himself of any crime, cognizable by the Holy + Court, nor indeed by any other; that he believed and ever had believed + whatever holy mother church believed or required him to believe. He had, + it seems quite forgotten what he had unthinkingly said at the sight of the + two friars. The inquisitor, therefore, finding that he did not remember or + would not own his crime, after many deceitful interrogatories, and + promises which he never intended to fulfil, ordered him back to his + dungeon, and allowing him another week, as is customary in such cases, to + recollect himself, told him that if he could not in that time prevail upon + himself to declare the truth, agreeably to his oath, means would be found + of forcing it from him; and he must expect no mercy. + </p> + <p> + At the end of the week he was brought again before the infernal tribunal; + and being asked the same questions, returned the same answers, adding, + that if he had done or said anything amiss, unwittingly or ignorantly, he + was ready to own it, provided the least hint of it were given him by any + there present, which he entreated them most earnestly to do. He often + looked at me, and seemed to expect—which gave me such concern as no + words can express—that I should say something in his favor. But I + was not allowed to speak on this occasion, nor were any of the + counsellors; and had I been allowed to speak, I durst not have said + anything in his favor; the advocate appointed by the Inquisition, and + commonly styled, "The Devil's Advocate," being the only person that is + suffered to speak for the prisoner. The advocate belongs to the + Inquisition, receives a salary from the Inquisition, and is bound by an + oath to abandon the defence of the prisoner, if he undertakes it, or not + to undertake it, if he finds it cannot be defended agreeably to the laws + of the Holy Inquisition; go that the whole is mere sham and imposition. I + have heard this advocate, on other occasions, allege something in favor of + the person accused; but on this occasion he declared that he had nothing + to offer in defence of the criminal. + </p> + <p> + In the Inquisition, the person accused is always supposed guilty, unless + he has named the accuser among his enemies. And he is put to the torture + if he does not plead guilty, and own the crime that is laid to his charge, + without being so much as told what it is; whereas, in all other courts, + where tortures are used, the charge is declared to the party accused + before he is tortured; nor are they ever inflicted without a credible + evidence of his guilt. But in the Inquisition, a man is frequently + tortured upon the deposition of a person whose evidence would be admitted + in no other court, and in all cases without hearing the charge. As my + unfortunate friend continued to maintain his innocence, not recollecting + what he had said, he was, agreeably to the laws of the Inquisition, put to + the torture. He had scarcely borne it twenty minutes, crying out the whole + time, "Jesus Maria!" when his voice failed him at once, and he fainted + away. He was then supported, as he hung by his arms, by two of the Sbirri, + whose province it is to manage the torture, till he returned to himself. + He still continued to declare that he could not recollect his having said + or done anything contrary to the Catholic faith, and earnestly begged they + would let him know with what he was charged, being ready to own it if it + was true. + </p> + <p> + The Inquisitor was then so gracious as to put him in mind of what he had + said on seeing the two Capuchins. The reason why they so long conceal from + the party accused the crime he is charged with, is, that if he should be + conscious to himself of his having ever said or done anything contrary to + the faith, which he is not charged with, he may discover that too, + imagining it to be the very crime he is accused of. After a short pause, + the poor gentleman owned that he had said something to that purpose; but, + as he had said it with no evil intention, he had never more thought of it, + from that time to the present. He added, but with a voice so faint, as + scarce could be heard, that for his rashness he was willing to undergo + what punishment soever the holy tribunal should, think fit to impose on + him; and he again fainted away. Being eased for a while of his torment, + and returned to himself, he was interrogated by the promoter fiscal (whose + business it is to accuse and to prosecute, as neither the informer nor the + witnesses, are ever to appear,) concerning his intention. For in the + Inquisition, it is not enough for the party accused to confess the fact, + he must declare whether his intention was heretical or not; and many, to + redeem themselves from the torments they, can no longer endure, own their + intention was heretical, though it really was not. My poor friend often + told us, he was ready to say whatever he pleased, but as he never directly + acknowledged his intention to have been heretical, as is required by the + rules of the court, he was kept on the torture still, quite overcome with + the violence of the anguish, he was ready to expire. Being taken down, he + was carried quite senseless, back to his dungeon, and there, on the third + day, death put an end to his sufferings. The Inquisitor wrote a note to + his widow, to desire her to pray for the soul of her late husband, and + warn her not to complain of the holy Inquisition, as capable of any + injustice or cruelty. The estate was confiscated to the Inquisition, and a + small jointure allowed out of it to the widow. As they had only been + married six months, and some part of the fortune was not yet paid, the + inquisitor sent an order to the Constantini family, at Ferno, to pay the + holy office, and without delay, what they owed to the late Count Della + Torre. The effects of heretics are all ipso facto confiscated to the + Inquisition from the very day, not of their conviction, but of their + crime, so that all donations made after that time are void; and whatever + they may have given, is claimed by the Inquisition, into whatsoever hands + it may have passed; even the fortunes they have given to their daughters + in marriage, have been declared to belong to, and are claimed by the + Inquisition; nor can it be doubted, that the desire of those confiscations + is one great cause of the injustice and cruelty of that court. + </p> + <p> + The death of the unhappy Count Della Torre was soon publicly known; but no + man cared to speak of it, not even his nearest relations, nor so much as + to mention his name, lest anything should inadvertently escape them that + might be construed into a disapprobation of the proceedings of the most + holy tribunal; so great is the awe all men live in of that jealous and + merciless court. + </p> + <p> + The deep impression that the death of my unhappy friend, the barbarous and + inhuman treatment he had met with, and the part I had been obliged to act + in so affecting a tragedy, made on my mind, got at once the better of my + fears, so that, forgetting in a manner the dangers I had till then so much + apprehended, I resolved, without further delay to put in execution the + design I had formed, of quitting the Inquisition, and bidding forever + adieu to Italy. To execute that design with some safety, I proposed to beg + leave to visit the Virgin of Loretto, but thirteen miles distant, and to + pass a week there; but in the mean time, to make the best of my way out of + the reach of the Inquisition. + </p> + <p> + Having, therefore, after many conflicts with myself, asked leave to visit + the neighboring sanctuary, and obtained it, I set out on horseback the + very next morning, leaving, as I proposed to keep the horse, his full + value with the owner. I took the road to Loretto, but turned out of it a + short distance from Recanati, after a most violent struggle with myself, + the attempt appearing to me at that juncture, quite desperate and + impracticable; and the dreadful doom reserved for me should I miscarry, + presented itself to my mind in the strongest light. But the reflection + that I had it in my power to avoid being taken alive, and a persuasion + that a man in my situation might lawfully avoid it, when every other means + failed him, at the expense of his life, revived my staggered resolution; + and all my fears ceasing at once, I steered my course, leaving Loretto + behind me, to Rocca Contrada, to Fossonbrone, to Calvi in the dukedom of + Urbino, and from thence through the Romagna into Bolognese, keeping the + by-roads, and at a good distance from the cities through which the high + road passed. + </p> + <p> + Thus I advanced very slowly, travelling in very bad roads, and often in + places where there was no road at all, to avoid, not only the cities, and + towns, but also the villages. In the mean time I seldom had any other + support but some coarse provisions, and a very small quantity even, of + them, that the poor shepherds, the countrymen or wood cleavers I met in + those unfrequented by-places, could spare me. My horse fared not much + better than myself; but, in choosing my sleeping-place I consulted his + convenience as much as my own, passing the night where I found most + shelter for myself, and most grass for him. In Italy there are very few + solitary farm-houses or cottages, the country people all living together + in villages; and I thought it far safer to lie where I could be in any way + sheltered, than to venture into any of them. Thus I spent seventeen days + before I got out of the ecclesiastical state; and I very narrowly escaped + being taken or murdered, on the very borders of that state; it happened + thus. + </p> + <p> + I had passed two whole days without any kind of subsistence whatever, + meeting with no one in the by-roads that could supply me with any, and + fearing to come near any house, as I was not far from the borders of the + dominions of the Pope. I thought I should be able to hold out till I got + into the Modanese, where I believed I should be in less danger than while + I remained in the papal dominions. But finding myself, about noon of the + third day, extremely weak and ready to faint away, I came into the high + road that leads from Bologna to Florence, a few miles distant from the + former city, and alighted at a post house, that stood quite by itself. + Having asked the woman of the house whether she had any victuals, and + being told that she had, I went to open the door of the only room in the + house, (that being a place where gentlemen only stop to change horses,) + and saw to my great surprise, a placard pasted on it, with a minute + description of my whole person, sad a promise of a reward of 900 crowns + (about 200 pounds English money) for delivering me up alive to the + Inquisition, being a fugitive from that holy tribunal, and of 600 crowns + for my head. By the same placard, all persons were forbidden, on pain of + the greater excommunication, to receive or harbor, entertain, conceal, or + screen me, or to be in any way aiding, or assisting me to make my escape. + This greatly alarmed me, as the reader may well imagine; but I was still + more frightened, when entering the room, I saw two fellows drinking there, + who, fixing their eyes on me as soon as I went in, continued looking at me + very steadfastly. I strove, by wiping my face and blowing my nose, and by + looking out of the window, to prevent their having a full view of my + features. But, one of them saying, "The gentleman seems afraid to be + seen," I put up my handkerchief, and turning to the fellow, said boldly, + "What do you mean you rascal? Look at me; am I afraid to be seen?" He said + nothing, but looking again steadfastly at me, and nodding his head, went + out, and his companion immediately followed him. I watched them, and + seeing them, with two or three more, in close conference, and no doubt + consulting whether they should apprehend me or not, I walked that moment + into the stable, mounted my horse unobserved by them, and while they were + deliberating in an orchard behind the house, rode off at full speed, and + in a few hours got into the Modanese, where I refreshed both with food and + rest, as I was there in no immediate danger, my horse and myself. I was + indeed surprised to find that those fellows did not pursue me, nor can I + in any other way account for it, but by supposing, what is not improbable, + that, as they were strangers as well as myself, and had all the appearance + of banditti or ruffians flying out of the dominions of the Pope, the woman + of the house did not care to trust them with her horses. From the Modanese + I continued my journey, more leisurely through the Parmesan, the Milanese, + and part of the Venetian territory, to Chiavenna, subject to the Grisons, + who abhor the very name of the Inquisition, and are ever ready to receive + and protect all who, flying from it, take refuge, as many Italians do, in + their dominions. Still I carefully concealed who I was, and whence I came, + for, though no Inquisition prevails among the Swiss, yet the Pope's nuncio + who resides at Lucerne, (a popish canton through which I was to pass,) + might have persuaded the magistrate to stop me as an apostate and deserter + from the order. + </p> + <p> + Having rested a few days at Chiavenna, I resumed my journey quite + refreshed, continuing it through the country of the Grisons, and the two + small cantons of Ury and Underwald, to the canton of Lucerne. There I + missed my way, as I was quite unacquainted with the country, and + discovering a city at a distance, was advancing to it, but slowly, as I + knew not where I was, when a countryman whom I met, informed me that the + city before me was Lucerne. Upon that intelligence, I turned out of the + road as soon as the countryman was out of sight, and that night I passed + with a good natured shepherd in his cottage, who supplied me with sheep's + milk, and my horse with plenty of grass. I set out early next morning, + making my way westward, as I knew that Berne lay west of Lucerne. But, + after a few miles, the country proved very mountainous, and having + travelled the whole day over mountains I was overtaken among them by + night. As I was looking out for a place where I might shelter myself + during the night, against the snow and rain, (for it both snowed and + rained,) I perceived a light at a distance, and making towards it, I got + into a kind of foot-path, but so narrow and rugged that I was obliged to + lead my horse, and feel my way with one foot, (having no light to direct + me,) before I durst move the other. Thus, with much difficulty I reached + the place where the light was, a poor little cottage, and knocking at the + door, was asked by a man within who I was, and what I wanted? I answered + that I was a stranger and had lost my way. "Lost your way!" exclaimed the + man, "There is no way here to lose." I then asked him what canton I was + in? and upon his answering that I was in the canton of Berne, I cried out + transported with joy, "I thank God that I am." The good man answered, "And + so do I." I then told him who I was, and that I was going to Berne but had + quite lost myself by keeping out of all the high roads, to avoid falling + into the hands of those who sought my destruction. He thereupon opened the + door, received and entertained me with all the hospitality his poverty + would admit of; regaled me with sour crout and some new laid eggs, the + only provision he had, and clean straw with a kind of rug for a bed, he + having no other for himself and wife. The good woman expressed as much + good nature as her husband, and said many kind things in the Swiss + language, which her husband interpreted to me in the Italian; for that + language he well understood, having learned it in his youth, while servant + in a public home on the borders of Italy, where both languages are spoken. + I never passed a more comfortable night; and no sooner did I begin to stir + in the morning, than the good man and his wife both came to know how I + rested; and, wishing they had been able to accommodate me better, obliged + me to breakfast on two eggs, which providence, they said, had sent them + for that purpose. I took leave of the wife, who seemed most sincerely to + wish me a good journey. As for the husband, he would by all means attend + me to the high road leading to Berne; which road he said was but two miles + distant from that place. But he insisted on my first going back with him, + to see the way I had come the night before; the only way, he said, I could + have possibly come from the neighboring canton of Lucerne. I saw it, and + shuddered at the danger I had escaped; for I found I had walked and led my + horse a good way along a very narrow path on the brink of a very dangerous + precipice. The man made so many pertinent and pious remarks on the + occasion, as both charmed and surprised me. I no less admired his + disinterestedness than his piety; for, upon our parting, after he had + attended me till I was out of all danger of losing my way, I could by no + means prevail upon him to accept of any reward for his trouble. He had the + satisfaction, he said, of having relieved me in the greatest distress, + which was in itself a sufficient reward, and he wished for no other. + </p> + <p> + Having at length got safe into French Flanders, I there repaired to the + college of the Scotch Jesuits at Douay, and discovering myself to the + rector, I acquainted him with the cause of my sudden departure from Italy, + and begged him to give notice of my arrival, as well as the motives of my + flight to Michael Angelo Tambuvini, general of the order, and my very + particular friend. + </p> + <p> + The rector wrote as I desired him, to the general, and he, taking no + notice of my flight, in his answer, (for he could not disapprove, and did + not think it safe to approve of it,) ordered me to continue where I was + till further notice. I arrived at Douay early in May, and continued there + till the beginning of July, when the rector received a second letter from + the general, acquainting him that he had been commanded by the + congregation of the Inquisition, to order me, wherever I was, back into + Italy; to promise me, in their name, full pardon and forgiveness if I + obeyed, but if I did not obey, to treat me as an apostate. He added, that + the same order had been transmitted, soon after my flight, to the nuncios + at the different Roman Catholic courts; and he, therefore, advised me to + consult my own safety without further delay. + </p> + <p> + Upon the receipt of the general's kind letter, the rector was of opinion + that I should repair by all means, and without loss of time, to England, + not only as the safest asylum I could fly to, in my present situation, but + as a place where I should soon recover my native language, and be usefully + employed, either there or in Scotland. The place being thus agreed on, and + it being at the same time settled between the rector and me, that I should + set out the very next morning, I solemnly promised, at his request and + desire, to take no kind of notice, after my arrival in England, of his + having been in any way privy to my flight, or the general's letter to him. + This promise I have faithfully and honorably observed; and should have + thought myself guilty of the blackest ingratitude if I had not observed + it, being sensible that, had it been known at Rome, that, either the + rector or general had been accessary to my flight, THE INQUISITION WOULD + HAVE RESENTED IT SEVERELY IN BOTH. For although a Jesuit in France, in + Flanders, or in Germany, is out of the reach of the Inquisition, the + general is not; and the high tribunal not only have it in their power to + punish the general himself, who resides constantly at Rome, but may oblige + him to inflict what punishment they please on any of the order obnoxious + to them. + </p> + <p> + The rector went that very night out of town, and in his absence, but not + without his privity, I took one of the horses of the college, early next + morning, as if I were going for a change of air, being somewhat + indisposed, to pass a few days at Lisle; but steering a different course, + I reached Aire that night and Calais the next day. I was there in no + danger of being stopped and seized at the prosecution of the Inquisition, + a tribunal no less abhorred in France than in England. But being informed + that the nuncios at the different courts had been ordered, soon after my + flight, to cause me to be apprehended in Roman Catholic countries through + which I must pass, as an apostate and deserter from the order, I was under + no small apprehension of being discovered and apprehended as such even at + Calais. No sooner, therefore, did I alight at the Inn, than I went down to + the quay, and there as I was very little acquainted with the sea, and + thought the passage much shorter than it is, I endeavored to engage some + fishermen to carry me that very night, in one of their small vessels, over + to England. This alarmed the guards of the harbor, and I should have been + certainly apprehended as a person guilty, or suspected of some great + crime, fleeing from justice, had not Lord Baltimore, whom I had the good + luck to meet in the Inn, informed me of my danger, and pitying my + condition, attended me that moment, with all his company, to the port, and + conveyed me immediately on board his yacht. There I lay that night, + leaving every thing I had but the clothes on my back, in the Inn; and the + next day his Lordship set me ashore at Dover, from whence I came in the + common stage to London. + </p> + <p> + In the year 1706, the Inquisition at Arragon was broken up by the French + troops, under the command of the Duke of Orleans. The Holy Inquisitors + were driven from their beautiful house, and in answer to their indignant + remonstrance were told that the king wanted the house to quarter his + troops in, and they were therefore compelled to leave it immediately. The + doors of the prisons were then thrown open, and among the four hundred + prisoners who were set at liberty were sixty young women, very beautiful + in person, and clad in the richest attire. + </p> + <p> + Anthony Gavin, formerly one of the Roman Catholic priests of Saragossa, + Spain, relates (in a book published by him after his conversion) that when + travelling in France he met one of those women in the inn at Rotchfort; + the son of the inn-keeper, formerly an officer in the French army, having + married her for her great beauty and superior intelligence. In accordance + with his request, she freely related to him the incidents of her prison + life, from which we take the following extract: + </p> + <p> + "Early the next morning, Mary got up, and told me that nobody was up yet + in the house; and that she would show me the DRY PAN and the GRADUAL FIRE, + on condition that I should keep it a secret for her sake as well as my + own. This I promised, and she took me along with her, and showed me a dark + room with a thick iron door, and within it an oven and a large brass pan + upon it, with a cover of the same and a lock to it. The oven was burning + at the time, and I asked Mary for what purpose the pan was there. Without + giving me any answer, she took me by the hand and led me to a large room, + where she showed me a thick wheel, covered on both sides with thick + boards, and opening a little window in the center of it, desired me to + look with a candle on the inside of it, and I saw all the circumference of + the wheel set with SHARP RAZORS. After that she showed me a PIT FULL OF + SERPENTS AND TOADS. Then she said to me, 'Now, my good mistress, I'll tell + you the use of these things. The dry pan and gradual fire are for those + who oppose the holy father's will, and for heretics. They are put naked + and alive into the pan, and the cover of it being locked up, the + executioner begins to put in the oven a small fire, and by degrees he + augmenteth it, till the body is burned to ashes. The second is designed + for those who speak against the Pope and the holy fathers. They are put + within the wheel, and the door being locked, the executioner turns the + wheel till the person is dead. The third is for those who contemn the + images, and refuse to give the due respect and veneration to + ecclesiastical persons; for they are thrown alive into the pit, and there + they become the food of serpents and toads.' Then Mary said to me that + another day she would show me the torments for public sinners and + transgressors of the commandments of holy mother church; but I, in deep + amazement, desired her to show me no more places; for the very thought of + those three which I had seen, was enough to terrify me to the heart. So we + went to my room, and she charged me again to be very obedient to all + commands, for if I was not, I was sure to undergo the torment of the dry + pan." + </p> + <p> + Llorente, the Spanish historian and secretary-general of the Inquisition, + relates the following incident: "A physician, Juan de Salas, was accused + of having used a profane expression, twelve months before, in the heat of + debate. He denied the accusation, and produced several witnesses to prove + his innocence. But Moriz, the inquisitor at Valladolid, where the charge + was laid, caused de Salas to be brought into his presence in the + torture-chamber, stripped to his shirt, and laid on a LADDER or DONKEY, an + instrument resembling a wooden trough, just large enough to receive the + body, with no bottom, but having a bar or bars to placed that the body + bent, by its own weight, into an exquisitely painful position. His head + was lower than his heels, and the breathing, in consequence, became + exceedingly difficult. The poor man, so laid, was bound around the arms + and legs with hempen cords, each of them encircling the limb eleven times. + </p> + <p> + "During this part of the operation they admonished him to confess the + blasphemy; but he only answered that he had never spoken a sentence of + such a kind, and then, resigning himself to suffer, repeated the + Athanasian creed, and prayed to God and our Lady many times. Being still + bound, they raised his head, covered his face with a piece of fine linen, + and, forcing open the mouth, caused water to drip into it from an earthen + jar, slightly perforated at the bottom, producing in addition to his + sufferings from distension, a horrid sensation of choking. But again, when + they removed the jar for a moment, he declared that he had never uttered + such a sentence; and this he often repeated. They then pulled the cords on + his right leg, cutting into the flesh, replaced the linen on his face, + dropped the water as before, and tightened the cords on his right leg the + second time; but still he maintained that he had never spoken such a + thing; and in answer to the questions of his tormentors, constantly + reiterated that he HAD NEVER SPOKEN THOSE WORDS. Moriz then pronounced + that the said torture should be regarded as begun, but not finished; and + De Salas was released, to live, if he could survive, in the incessant + apprehension that if he gave the slightest umbrage to a familiar, he would + be carried again into the same chamber, and be RACKED IN EVERY LIMB." + </p> + <p> + Llorente also relates, from the original records, another case quite as + cruel and unjust as the above. "On the 8th day of December, 1528, one + Catalina, a woman of BAD CHARACTER, informed the inquisitors that, + EIGHTEEN YEARS BEFORE she had lived in the house with a Morisco named + Juan, by trade a coppersmith, and a native of Segovia; that she had + observed that neither he nor his children ate pork or drank wine, and + that, on Saturday nights and Sunday mornings they used to wash their feet, + which custom, as well as abstinence from pork and wine, was peculiar to + the Moors. The old man was at that time an inhabitant of Benevente, and + seventy-one years of age. But the inquisitors at once summoned him into + their presence, and questioned him at three several interviews. All that + he could tell was, that he received baptism when he was forty-five years + of age; that having never eaten pork or drunk wine, he had no taste for + them; and that, being coppersmiths, they found it necessary to wash + themselves thoroughly once a week. After some other examinations, they + sent him back to Benevente, with prohibition to go beyond three leagues' + distance from the town. Two years afterwards the inquisitor determined + that he should be threatened with torture, IN ORDER TO OBTAIN INFORMATION + THAT MIGHT HELP THEM TO CRIMINATE OTHERS. He was accordingly taken to + Valladolid, and in a subterranean chamber, called the 'chamber, or + dungeon, of torment,' stripped naked, and bound to the 'ladder.' This + might well have extorted something like confession from an old man of + seventy-one; but he told them that whatever he might say when under + torture would be merely extorted by the extreme anguish, and therefore + unworthy of belief; that he would not, through fear of pain, confess what + had never taken place. They kept him in close prison until the next Auto + de Fe, when he walked among the penitents, with a lighted candle in his + hand, and, after seeing others burnt to death, paid the holy office a fee + of four ducats, and went home, not acquitted, but released. He was not + summoned again, as he died soon afterwards." + </p> + <p> + It sometimes happened that an individual was arrested by mistake, and a + person who was entirely innocent was tortured instead of the real or + supposed criminal. A case of this kind Mr. Bower found related at length + in the "Annals of the Inquisition at Macerata." + </p> + <p> + "An order was sent from the high tribunal at Rome to all the inquisitors + throughout Italy, enjoining them to apprehend a clergyman minutely + described in that order. One Answering the description in many particulars + being discovered in the diocese of Osimo, at a small distance from + Macerata, and subject to that Inquisition, he was there decoyed into the + holy office, and by an order from Rome SO RACKED AS TO LOSE HIS SENSES. In + the mean time, the true person being apprehended, the unhappy wretch was + dismissed, by a second order from Rome, but he never recovered the use of + his senses, NOR WAS ANY CARE TAKEN OF HIM BY THE INQUISITION." + </p> + <p> + It would be easy to fill a volume with such narratives as the above, but + we forbear. We are not writing a history of the Inquisition. We simply + wish to exhibit the true spirit by which the Romanists are actuated in + their dealings with those over whom they have power. We therefore, in + closing this chapter of horrors, beg leave to place before our readers one + of the FATHERLY BENEDICTIONS with which, His Holiness, the Pope, dismisses + his refractory subjects. Does it not show most convincingly what he would + do here in America, if he had, among us, the power he formerly possessed + in the old world, when the least inadvertent word might perchance seal the + doom of the culprit? + </p> + <p> + A POPISH BULL OK CURSE. + </p> + <p> + "Pronounced on all who leave the Church of Rome. By the authority of God + Almighty, the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, and the undefiled Virgin Mary, + mother and patroness of our Saviour, and of all celestial virtues, Angels, + Archangels, Thrones, Dominions, Powers, Cherubim and Seraphim, and of all + the holy Patriarchs, Prophets, and of all the Apostles and Evangelists, of + the holy innocents, who in the sight of the holy Lamb are found worthy to + sing the new song of the Holy Martyrs and Holy Confessors, and of all the + Holy Virgins, and of all the Saints, together with the Holy Elect of God,—MAY + HE BE DAMNED. We excommunicate and anathematize him, from the threshold of + the holy church of God Almighty. We sequester him, that he may be + tormented, disposed, and be delivered over with Datham and Abiram, and + with those who say unto the Lord, 'Depart from us, we desire none of thy + ways;' as a fire is quenched with water, so let the light of him be put + out forevermore, unless it shall repent him, and make satisfaction. Amen. + </p> + <p> + "May the Father who creates man, curse him. May the Son, who suffered for + us, curse him! May the Holy Ghost who is poured out in baptism, curse him! + May the Holy Cross, which Christ for our salvation, triumphing over his + enemies, ascended, curse him! + </p> + <p> + "May the Holy Mary, ever Virgin and Mother of God, curse him! May all the + Angels, Principalities, and Powers, and all heavenly Armies curse him! May + the glorious band of the Patriarchs and Prophets curse him! "May St. John + the Precursor, and St John the Baptist, and St. Peter and St Paul, and St. + Andrew and all other of Christ's Apostles together curse him and may the + rest of the Disciples and Evangelists who by their preaching converted the + universe, and the Holy and wonderful company of Martyrs and Confessors, + who by their works are found pleasing to God Almighty; may the holy choir + of the Holy Virgins, who for the honor of God have despised the things of + the world, damn him. May all the Saints from the beginning of the world to + everlasting ages, who are found to be beloved of God, damn him! + </p> + <p> + "May he be damned wherever he be, whether in the house or in the alley, in + the woods or in the water, or in the church! May he be cursed in living or + dying! + </p> + <p> + "May he be cursed in eating and drinking, in being hungry, in being + thirsty, in fasting and sleeping, in slumbering, and in sitting, in + living, in working, in resting, and in blood letting! May he be cursed in + all the faculties of his body! + </p> + <p> + "May he be cursed inwardly and outwardly. May he be cursed in his hair; + cursed be he in his brains, and his vertex, in his temples, in his + eyebrows, in his cheeks, in his jaw-bones, in his nostrils, in his teeth, + and grinders, in his lips, in his shoulders, in his arms, and in his + fingers. + </p> + <p> + "May he be damned in his mouth, in his breast, in his heart, and + purtenances, down to the very stomach! + </p> + <p> + "May he be cursed in his reins and groins, in his thighs and his hips, and + in his knees, his legs and his feet, and his toe-nails! + </p> + <p> + "May he be cursed in all his joints, and articulation of the members; from + the crown of the head to the soles of his feet, may there be no soundness! + </p> + <p> + "May the Son of the living God, with all the glory of his majesty, CURSE + HIM! And may Heaven, with all the powers that move therein, rise up + against him, and curse and damn him; unless he repent and make + satisfaction! Amen! So be it. Be it so. Amen." + </p> + <p> + Such was the CURSE pronounced on the Rev. Wm. Hogan, (a converted Roman + Catholic priest) a few years since, in Philadelphia. + </p> + <p> + As a further proof of the cruel, persecuting spirit of Catholicism, let us + glance at a few extracts from their own publications. + </p> + <p> + "Children," they say, "are obliged to denounce their parents or relations + who are guilty of heresy; ALTHOUGH THEY KNOW THAT THEY WILL BE BURNT. They + may refuse them all nourishment, and permit them to die with hunger; or + they may KILL THEM as enemies, who violate the rights of humanity.—Escobar, + Theolg. Moral, vol. 4, lib. 31, sec. 2, precept 4, prop. 5, p. 239." + </p> + <p> + "A man condemned by the Pope, may be killed wherever he is found."—La + Croix, vol. 1, p. 294. + </p> + <p> + "Children may kill their parents, if they would turn their children from + the Popish faith." "If a judge decide contrary to law, the injured person + may defend himself by killing the judge."—Fangundez Precept Decal, + vol. 1, lib. 4, chap. 2, p. 501, 655, and vol. 2, lib. 8, chap. 32; p. + 390. + </p> + <p> + "To secretly kill your calumniator, to avoid scandal, is justifiable."—Ayrault, + Cens. p. 319. + </p> + <p> + "You may kill before hand, any person who may put you to death, not + EXCEPTING THE JUDGE, AND WITNESSES, because it is self-defence."—Emanuel + Sa. Aphor, p. 178. + </p> + <p> + "A priest may kill those who hinder him from taking possession of any + Ecclesiastical office."—Arnicus, Num, 131. + </p> + <p> + "You may charge your opponent with false crime to take away his credit, as + well as kill him."—Guimenius, prop, 8, p. 86. + </p> + <p> + "Priests may kill the laity to preserve their goods."—Nolina, vol. + 3, disput. 16, p. 1786. + </p> + <p> + "You may kill any man to save a crown."—Taberna, Synop. Theol. + Tract, pars. 2, chap. 27, p. 256. + </p> + <p> + "BY THE COMMAND OF GOD IT IS LAWFUL TO MURDER THE INNOCENT, TO ROB, AND TO + COMMIT ALL KIND OF WICKEDNESS, BECAUSE HE IS THE LORD OF LIFE AND DEATH, + AND ALL THINGS; AND THUS TO FULFILL HIS MANDATE IS OUR DUTY."—Alagona, + Thorn. Aquin, Sum. Theol. Compend, Quest. 94, p. 230. + </p> + <p> + Again, in the Romish Creed found in the pocket of Priest Murphy, who was + killed in the battle of Arklow, 1798, we find the following articles. "We + acknowledge that the priests can make vice virtue, and virtue vice, + according to their pleasure. + </p> + <p> + "We are bound to believe that the holy massacre was lawful, and lawfully + put into execution, against Protestants, and likewise WE ARE TO CONTINUE + THE SAME, PROVIDED WITH SAFETY TO OUR LIVES! + </p> + <p> + "We are bound not to keep our oaths with heretics, though bound by the + most sacred ties. We are bound not to believe their oaths; for their + principles are damnation. We are bound to drive heretics with fire, sword, + faggot, and confusion, out of the land; as our holy fathers say, if their + heresies prevail we will become their slaves. We are bound to absolve + without money or price, those who imbrue their hands in the blood of a + heretic!" Do not these extracts show very clearly that Romanism can do + things as bad as anything in the foregoing narrative? + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0033" id="link2H_4_0033"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + APPENDIX VI. — ROMANISM OF THE PRESENT DAY. + </h2> + <p> + Whenever we refer to the relentless cruelties of the Romanists, we are + told, and that, too, by the influential, the intelligent, those who are + well-informed on other subjects, that "these horrid scenes transpired only + in the 'dark ages;'" that "the civilization and refinement of the present + age has so modified human society, so increased the milk of human + kindness, that even Rome would not dare, if indeed she had the heart, to + repeat the cruelties of by-gone days." + </p> + <p> + For the honor of humanity we could hope that this opinion was correct; but + facts of recent date compel us to believe that it is as false as it is + ruinous to the best interests of our country and the souls of men. A few + of these facts, gathered from unquestionable sources, and some of them + related by the actors and sufferers themselves, we place before the + reader. + </p> + <p> + In November, 1854, Ubaldus Borzinski, a monk of the Brothers of Mercy, + addressed an earnest petition to the Pope, setting forth the shocking + immoralities practised in the convents of his order in Bohemia. He + specifies nearly forty crimes, mostly perpetrated by priors and subpriors, + giving time, place, and other particulars, entreating the Pope to + interpose his power, and correct those horrible abuses. + </p> + <p> + For sending this petition, he was thrown into a madhouse of the Brothers + of Mercy, at Prague, where he still languishes in dreary confinement, + though the only mark of insanity he ever showed was in imagining that the + Pope would interfere with the pleasures of the monks. + </p> + <p> + This Ubaldus has a brother, like minded with himself, also a member of the + same misnamed order of monks, who has recently effected his escape from + durance vile. + </p> + <p> + John Evangelist Borzinski was a physician in the convent of the Brothers + of Mercy at Prague. He is a scientific and cultivated man. By the study of + the Psalms and Lessons from the New Testament, which make up a + considerable part of the Breviary used in cloisters, he was first led into + Protestant views. He had been for seventeen years resident in different + cloisters of his order, as sick-nurse, alms gatherer, student, and + physician, and knew the conventual life out and out. As he testifies: + "There was little of the fear of God, so far as I could see, little of + true piety; but abundance of hypocrisy, eye-service, deception, abuse of + the poor sick people in the hospitals, such love and hatred as are common + among the children of this world, and the most shocking vices of every + kind." + </p> + <p> + He now felt disgust for the cloister life, and for the Romish religion, + and he sought, by the aid of divine grace, to attain to the new birth + through the Word of God. Speaking of his change of views to a Prussian + clergyman, he thus describes his conversion: "Look you, it was thus I + became a Protestant. I found a treasure in that dustheap, and went away + with it." This treasure he prized more and more. He then thought within + himself, if these detached passages can give such light, what an + illumination he must receive if he could read and understand the whole + Bible. + </p> + <p> + He did not, however, betray his dissatisfaction, but devoted himself to + his professional duties with greater diligence. He might still have + remained in the Order, his life hid with Christ in God, had not the + hierarchy, under pretence of making reforms and restoring the neglected + statutes of the Order, brought in such changes for the worse as led him to + resolve to leave the order, and the Romish church as well. Following his + convictions, and the advice of a faithful but very cautious clergyman, he + betook himself to the territories of Prussia, where, on the 17th of + January, 1855, he was received into the national church at Petershain, by + Dr. Nowotny, himself formerly a Bohemian priest. This was not done till + great efforts had been made to induce him to change his purpose, and also + to get his person into the power of his adversaries. As he had now left + the church of Rome, become an openly acknowledged member of another + communion, he thought he might venture to return to his own country. + Taking leave of his Prussian friends, to whom he had greatly endeared + himself by his modesty and his lively faith, he went back to Bohemia, with + a heart full of peace and joy. + </p> + <p> + He lived for some time amidst many perplexities, secluded in the house of + his parents at Prosnitz, till betrayed by some who dwelt in the same + habitation. On the 6th of March he was taken out of bed, at eight, by the + police, and conveyed first to the cloister in Prosnitz, where he suffered + much abuse, and from thence to the cloister in Prague. Here the canon + Dittrich, "Apostolical Convisitator of the Order of the Brothers of + Mercy," justified all the inhuman treatment he had suffered, and + threatened him with worse in case he refused to recant and repent. + Dittrich not only deprived him of his medical books, but told him that his + going over to Protestantism was a greater crime than if he had plundered + the convent of two thousand florins. He was continually dinned with the + cry, "Retract, retract!" He was not allowed to see his brother, confined + in the same convent, nor other friends, and was so sequestered in his cell + as to make him feel that he was forgotten by all the world. + </p> + <p> + He managed, through some monks who secretly sympathized with him, to get a + letter conveyed occasionally to Dr. Nowotny. These letters were filled + with painful details of the severities practised upon him. In one of them + he says, "My only converse is with God, and the gloomy walls around me." + He was transferred to a cell in the most unwholesome spot, and infested + with noisome smells not to be described. Close by him were confined some + poor maniacs, sunk below the irrational brutes. + </p> + <p> + Under date of April 23d he writes: "Every hour, in this frightful dungeon + seems endless to me. For many weeks have I sat idle in this durance, with + no occupation but prayer and communion with God." His appeals to civil + authority and to the Primate of Hungary procured him no redress, but only + subjected him to additional annoyances and hardships. His aged father, a + man of four-score years, wept to see him, though of sound understanding, + locked up among madmen; and when urged to make his son recant, would have + nothing to do with it, and returned the same day to his sorrowful home. As + he had been notified that he was to be imprisoned for life, he prayed most + earnestly to the Father of mercies for deliverance; and he was heard, for + his prayers and endeavors wrought together. The sinking of his health + increased his efforts to escape; for, though he feared not to die, he + could not bear the thought of dying imprisoned in a mad-house, where he + knew that his enemies would take advantage of his mortal weakness to + administer their sacraments to him, and give out that he had returned to + the bosom of the church, or at least to shave his head, that he might be + considered as an insane person, and his renunciation of Romanism as the + effect of derangement of mind. Several plans of escape were projected, all + beset with much difficulty and danger. The one he decided upon proved to + be successful. + </p> + <p> + On Saturday, the 13th of October, at half-past nine in the evening, he + fastened a cord made of strips of linen to the grate of a window, which + grate did not extend to the top. Having climbed over this, he lowered + himself into a small court-yard. He had now left that part of the + establishment reserved for the insane, and was now in the cloistered part + where the brethren dwelt. But here his fortune failed him. He saw at a + distance a servant of the insane approaching with a light; and with aching + heart and trembling limbs, by a desperate effort, climbed up again. He + returned to his cell, concealing his cord, and laid himself down to rest. + </p> + <p> + On the following Monday, he renewed his efforts to escape. He lowered + himself, as before, into the little court-yard; but being weak in health + and much shaken in his nervous system by all he had suffered in body and + mind, he was seized with palpitation of the heart and trembled all over, + so that he could not walk a step. He laid down to rest and recover his + breath. He felt as if he could get no further. "But," he says in his + affecting narrative, "My dear Saviour to whom I turned in this time of + need, helped me wonderfully. I felt now, more than ever in my life, His + gracious and comforting presence, and believed, in that dismal moment, + with my whole soul, His holy word;" "My grace is sufficient for thee; for + my strength is made perfect in weakness." + </p> + <p> + Borzinski now arose, pulled off his boots, and though every step was made + with difficulty, he ascended the stairs leading to the first story. He + went along the passage way until he came to a door leading into corridors + where the cloister brethren lodged. But the trembling fit came over him + again, with indescribable anguish, as he sought to open the door with a + key with which he had been furnished. He soon rallied again, and, like a + spectre, gliding by the doors of the brethren, who occupied the second and + third corridors, many of whom had lights still burning, he came with his + boots in one hand, and his bundle in the other, to a fourth passage way, + in which was an outside window he was trying to reach. The cord was soon + fastened to the window frame, yet still in bitter apprehension; for this + window was seldom opened, and opened hard, and with some noise. It was + also only two steps distant from the apartment of the cloister physician, + where there was a light, and it was most likely that, on the first grating + of the window, he would rush out and apprehend the fugitive. However the + window was opened without raising any alarm, and now it was necessary to + see that no one was passing below; for though the spot is not very much + frequented, yet the streets cross there, and people approach it from four + different directions. During these critical moments, one person and + another kept passing, and poor Borzinski tarried shivering in the window + for near a quarter of an hour before he ventured to let himself down. + While he was waiting his opportunity he heard the clock strike the third + quarter after nine and knew that he had but fifteen minutes to reach the + house where he was to conceal himself, which would be closed at ten. When + all was still, he called most fervently on the Saviour, and grasping the + cord, slid down into the street. He could scarce believe his feet were on + the ground. Trembling now with joy and gratitude rather than fear, he ran + bareheaded to his place of refuge, where he received a glad welcome. + Having changed his garb, and tarried till three o'clock in the morning, he + took leave of his friends and passing through the gloomy old capital of + Bohemia, he reached the Portzitscher Gate, in order to pass out as early + as possible. Just then a police corporal let in a wagon, and Borzinski, + passed out unchallenged. It is needless to follow him further in his + flight. We have given enough, of his history to prove that conventual + establishments are at this moment what they ever have been—dangerous + alike to liberty and life. AMERICAN AND FOREIGN CHRISTIAN UNION. + </p> + <p> + In place of labored arguments we give the following history of personal + suffering as strikingly illustrative of the spirit of Romanism at the + present day. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0034" id="link2H_4_0034"> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + APPENDIX VII. — NARRATIVE OP SIGNORINA FLORIENCIA D' ROMANI, A + NATIVE OF THE CITY OF NAPLES. + </h2> + <p> + I was born in the year 1826, of noble and wealthy parents. Our mansion + contained a small chapel, with many images, sacred paintings, and a neatly + furnished mass altar. My father was a man of the world. He loved the + society of fashionable men. As he lived on the rents and income of his + estates, he had little to do, except to amuse himself with his friends. My + mother, who was of as mild and sweet disposition, loved my father very + dearly, but was very unhappy the most of the time because my father spent + so much of his time in drinking with his dissolute companions, card + playing, and in balls, parties, theatres, operas, billiards, &c. + Father did not intend to be unkind to my mother, for he gave her many + servants, and abundance of gold, horses, carriages and grooms, and said + frequently in my hearing, that his wife should be as happy as a princess. + Such was the state of society in Italy that men thought their wives had no + just reason to complain, so long as they were furnished with plenty of + food, raiment and shelter. + </p> + <p> + One of my father's most intimate friends was the very Rev. Father + Salvator, a Priest of the order of St. Francis; he wore the habit of the + order, his head was about half shaved. The sleeves of his habit were very + large at the elbow; in these sleeves he had small pockets, in which he + usually carried his snuff box, handkerchief, and purse of gold. This + priest was merry, full of fun and frolic; he could dance, sing, play + cards, and tell admirably funny stories, such as would make even the + devils laugh in their chains. + </p> + <p> + Such was the influence and power this Franciscan had over my father and + mother, that in our house, his word was law. He was our confessor, knew + the secrets and sins, and all the weak points of every mind in the whole + household. My own dear mother taught me to read before I was seven years + of age. As I was the only child, I was much petted and caressed, indeed, + such was my mother's affection for me that I was seldom a moment out of + her sight. There was a handsome mahogany confessional in our own chapel. + When the priest wanted any member of the household to come to him to + confession, he wrote the name on a slate that hung outside the chapel + door, saying that he would hear confessions at such a time to-morrow. + Thus, we would always have time for the full examination of our + consciences. Only one at a time was ever admitted into the chapel, for + confessional duty, and the priest always took care to lock the door inside + and place the key in his sleeve pocket. My mother and myself were obliged + to confess once a week; the household servants, generally once a month. My + father only once a year, during Lent, when all the inhabitants of seven + years, and upwards, are obliged to kneel down to the priests, in the + confessional, and receive the wafer God under the severest penalties. Woe + to the individual who resists the ecclesiastical mandate. + </p> + <p> + When I was about fourteen years of age, I was sent to the Ursuline + Convent, to receive my education. My dear mother would have preferred a + governess or a competent teacher to teach me at home but her will was but + a mere straw in the hands of our confessor and priestly tyrant. It was + solely at the recommendation of the confessor, that I was imprisoned four + years in the Ursuline Convent. As my confessor was also the confessor of + the convent, he called himself my guardian and protector, and recommended + me to the special care of the Mother Abbess, and her holy nuns, the + teachers, who spent much of their time in the school department. As my + father paid a high price, quarterly, for my tuition and board, I had a + good room to myself, my living was of the best kind, and I always had wine + at dinner. The nuns, my teachers, took much more pains to teach me the + fear of the Pope, bishops and confessors, than the fear of God, or the + love of virtue. In fact, with the exception of a little Latin and + embroidery, which I learned in those four years, I came out as ignorant as + I was before, unless a little hypocrisy may be called a useful + accomplishment. For, of all human beings on earth, none can teach + hypocrisy so well as the Romish priests and nuns. In the school department + young ladies seldom have much to complain of, unless they are charity + scholars; in that case the poor girls have to put up with very poor fare, + and much hard work, hard usage and even heavy blows; how my heart has + ached for some of those unfortunate girls, who are treated more like + brutes, than human beings, because they are orphans, and poor. Yet they in + justice are entitled to good treatment, for thousands of scudi (dollars) + are sent as donations to the convents for the support of these orphans, + every year, by benevolent individuals. So that as poor and unfortunate as + these girls are, they are a source of revenue to the convents. + </p> + <p> + For the first three years of my convent life, I passed the time in the + school department, without much anxiety of mind. I was gay and + thoughtless, my great trouble was to find something to amuse myself, and + kill time in some way. Though I treated all the school-mates with + kindness, and true Italian politeness, I became intimate with only one. + She was a beautiful girl, from the dukedom of Tuscany. She made me her + confidant, and told me all her heart. Her parents were wealthy, and both + very strict members of the Romish Church. But she had an aunt in the city + of Geneva, who was a follower of John Calvin, or a member of the Christian + church of Switzerland. This aunt had been yearly a visitor at her father's + house. She being her father's only sister, an affectionate intimacy was + formed between the aunt and niece. The aunt, being a very pious, amiable + woman, felt it her duty to impress the mind of the niece, with the + superiority of the religion of the holy bible over popish traditions; and + the truth of the Scriptures soon found its way to the heart of my young + friend. But her confessor soon found out that some change was going on in + her mind, and told her father. There were only two ways to save her soul + from utter ruin; one was to give her absolution and kill her before she + got entirely out of the holy mother church; the other, was to send her to + the Ursuline convent at Naples, where by the zeal and piety of those + celebrated nuns, she might be secured from further heresy. + </p> + <p> + From this, the best friend of my school days, I learned more about God's + word, and virtue, and truth, and the value of the soul, than from all + other sources. There was a garden surrounded by a high wall, in which we + frequently walked, and whispered to each other, though we trembled all the + while for fear our confessor would by some means, find out that we looked + upon the Romish church as the Babylon destined to destruction, plainly + spoken of by St. John the revelator. + </p> + <p> + My young friend stood in great fear of the priests; she trembled at the + very sight of one. + </p> + <p> + Her aunt had read to her the history and sufferings of the persecuted + Protestants of Europe. She was a frail, and timid girl, yet such was the + depth of her piety and the fervor of her religious faith, that she often + declared to me that she would prefer death to the abandonment of those + heavenly principles she had embraced, which were the source of her joy and + hope. Her aunt gave her a pocket New Testament, in the Italian language, + which she prized above all the treasures of earth, and carried with her + carefully, wherever she went. I borrowed it and read it every opportunity + I had. Several chapters I learned by heart. I took much pains to commit to + memory all I could of the blessed book, for in case of our separation, I + knew not where I could obtain another. My god-father who was a bishop, + called to see me on my fifteenth birth day, and presented me with a + splendid gold watch and chain richly studded with jewels, made in England, + and valued at 200 scudi, saying that he had it imported expressly for my + use. I had also several diamond articles of jewelry, presents I had + received from my father from time to time. I had also, in my purse, 100 + scudi in gold, which I had saved from my pin money. All the above + property, I should have cheerfully given for a copy of the Holy Bible, in + my own beautiful Italian language. A few months after I received the rich + present from the Bishop, he called with my father and my confessor to see + me. My heart almost came into my mouth when I saw them alight from my + father's carriage, and enter the chapel door of the convent. Very soon the + lady porter came to me and said, "Signorina, you are wanted in the + parlor." + </p> + <p> + As my Tuscan friend had taught me to pray, and ask the Lord Jesus for + grace and strength, I walked into my room, locked the door, and on my + knees, called upon the Lord to save me from becoming a nun—for I + knew then it was a determination on the part of the Abbess, bishop and + confessor, that I should take the veil. I was the only child, and heiress + of an immense fortune, of course, too good a prize to be lost. After a + short and fervent prayer to my Lord and Saviour, I walked down to see what + was to be my doom. I kissed my father's cheek, and kissed the hands of the + Bishop and confessor—yet my very soul revolted from the touch of + these whited sepulchres. All received me with great cordiality, yea, even + more than usual affection. Soon after our meeting, my father asked + permission of the Bishop to speak to me privately and taking me into a + small room, said to me, "My dear daughter, you are not aware of the great + misfortune that has recently come upon your father. While I was excited + with wine at the card-table last evening, betting high and winning vast + sums of money, I so far forgot myself and my duty to the laws of the + country, that I called for a toast, and induced a number of my inebriated + companions to drink the health of Italian liberty, and we all drank and + gave three cheers for liberty and a liberal constitution. A Benedictine + Friar being present, took all our names to the Commissary General, and + offered to be a witness against us in the King's Court. As this is my + first and only offence, the holy Bishop your god-father offers on certain + conditions, to visit Rome immediately on my behalf, and secure the + mediation of the holy Father Pius IX. Your venerable god-father has great + influence at Rome, being a special favorite with his holiness, and his + holiness can obtain any favor he asks of King Ferdinand. So if you will + only consent to take the Black Veil, your father will be saved from the + State prison." + </p> + <p> + This was terrible news to my young and palpitating heart. It was the first + heavy blow that I had experienced in this vale of tears. I did not speak + for some minutes; I could not. My trembling bosom heaved like the waves of + the ocean before the blast. My veins were almost bursting; my hands and + feet became as cold as marble, and when I attempted to speak my words + seemed ready to choke me to death. I thought my last hour had come. I fell + upon my knees and called upon God for mercy and help. My father, thinking + I had gone mad, was greatly alarmed. The Bishop and confessor, who were + anxiously waiting the result of my father's proposition, hearing my father + weep and sob aloud, came in to see what the matter was. In the midst of my + prayer, I fainted away, and became entirely unconscious. When I came to + myself, I found myself on the bed. As I opened my eyes, it all seemed like + a dream. The abbess spoke to me very kindly, and sprinkled my bed with + holy water, and at the same time laid a large bronze crucifix on my + breast, saying that Satan must be driven from my soul, for had it not been + for the devil, I would have leaped for joy, and not fainted when father + mentioned the black veil. "No," said the holy mother, "had it not been for + the devil you would rejoice to take the holy black veil blessed by the + Holy Madonna and the blessed saints Clara and Theresa. It is a holy + privilege that very few can enjoy on earth. Yea, my daughter, there can + not be a greater sin in the sight of the Madonna and the blessed saints, + than to reject a secluded life. Yea," said the crafty old nun, (who was + thinking much more about my gold, than my soul,) "I never knew a young + lady who had the offer of becoming a nun and rejected it, who ever came to + a good end. If they refuse, and marry, they generally die in child-bed + with the first child, or they will marry cruel husbands, who beat them and + kill them by inches. Therefore, dear daughter, let me most affectionately + warn you as you have had the honor of being selected by the holy Bishop + and our holy confessor to the high dignity and privilege of a professed + nun, of the order of St. Ursula, reject it not at your peril. Be assured, + heaven knows how to punish such rebellion." + </p> + <p> + My head ached so violently at the time, and I was so feverish that I + begged the old woman to send for my mother, and to talk to me no more on + the subject of the black veil, but to drop it until some future time. In + my agony on account of the foul plot against my liberty, my virtue, and my + gold, I felt such a passion of rage come upon me, that had I absolute + power for the moment I would have cast every Abbess, Pope, Bishop and + Priest into the bottomless pit. May the Lord forgive me, but I would have + done it at that time with a good will. The greatest comfort I now had was + reading my Tuscan friend's New Testament, or hearing it read by her when + we had a chance to be by ourselves, which was not very often. In the + evening of the same day of my illness, father and mother came to see me, + and Satan came also in the shape of the confessor; so that I had not a + moment alone with my dear parents. The confessor feared my determined + opposition to a convent's life, for he had previous to this, several times + in the confessional, dropped hints to me on the great happiness, purity, + serenity and joy of all holy nuns. But I always told him I would not be a + nun for the world. I should be so good, it would kill me in a short time. + "No, no, father," said I, "I WILL NOT BE A NUN." + </p> + <p> + Father spoke to me again of his great misfortune—told me that his + trial would come on in a few days and that he was now at liberty on a very + heavy bail; that the Bishop was only waiting my answer to start + immediately for the holy city, and throw himself at the feet of the holy + Pope to procure father's unconditional pardon from the King. I said "my + dear father, how long will you be imprisoned if you do not get a pardon?" + "From two to five years," he replied. "My daughter, it is my first + offence, and I have witnesses to prove that the priest who appeared + against me, urged me to drink wine several times after I had drank a large + quantity, and was the direct cause of my saying what I did." Now it all + came to me, that the whole of it was a plot, a Jesuitical trick, to get my + father in the clutches of the law, and then make a slave of me for life + through my sympathy for my dear father. + </p> + <p> + The vile priests knew that I loved my father most ardently; in fact, my + father and mother were the only two beings on earth that I did love. My + mother I loved most tenderly, but my affection for my father was of a + different kind. I loved him most violently, with all the ardor of my soul. + Mother seemed all the home to me; but father was to me all the world + beside. My father was all the brother I had. He would frequently come + home, and get me to go out into the garden and play with him, just as + though he was my brother. There we would swing, run, jump and exercise in + several healthy games, common in our climate. He never gave me an unkind + word or an unkind reproof. If I did say anything wrong, he would take me + to my mother and say, "Clara, here I bring you a prisoner, let her be kept + on bread and water till dinner time." Even when mother had displeased him + about some trifle, so that he had not a smile for her, he always had a + smile for his Flora. Even now, while I write, a chill comes over my frame, + while I think of that vile Popish plot. I said to my father, "You shall + not be imprisoned if I can prevent it; at the same time I do not see any + great gain, comfort or profit in having your only daughter put in prison + for life, without the hope of liberty ever more, to save you from two + years imprisonment." + </p> + <p> + At these words, the eyes of the confessor flashed like lurid lightnings; + his very frame shook, as though he had the fever and ague. Truth seemed so + strange to the priest, that he found it hard of digestion. Father and + mother both wept, but made no reply. The idea of putting their only child + in a dungeon for life, though it might be done in the sacred name of + religion, did not seem to give them much comfort "Father," said I, "I wish + to see you at ten o'clock to-morrow morning, without fail—I wish to + see you alone; don't bring mother or any one else with you. You shall not + go to prison, all will yet be well." On account of this reasonable + request, to see my father alone, the confessor arose in a terrible rage + and left the apartment As quick as the mad priest left us to ourselves, I + told my father my plan, or what I would like to do with his permission. My + plan was, for my mother and myself to get into our carriage and drive to + the palace of King Ferdinand and make him acquainted with all the truth; + for I was aware from what I had heard, that the King had heard only the + priest's side of the story. My father stood in such fear of the priests + that he only consented to my plan with great reluctance, saying that we + ought first to make our plan known to the confessor, lest he should be + offended. To this my mother responded, saying, "My daughter, it would be + very wrong for us to go to the King, or take any step without the advice + of our spiritual guide." Here, I felt it to be my duty to reveal to my + deceived parents some of the secrets of the confessional, though I might, + in their estimation, be guilty of an unpardonable sin by breaking the seal + of iniquity. I revealed to my parents the frequent efforts of the priest + to obtain my consent to take the veil, and that I had opposed from first + to last, every argument made use of to rob me of the society of my + parents, of my liberty, and of everything I held dear on earth. As to the + happiness of the nuns so much talked of by the priests, from what I had + seen in their daily walk and general deportment, I was fully convinced + that there was no reality in it; they were mere slaves to their superiors, + and not half so happy as the free slaves on a plantation who have a kind + master. My parents saw my determination to resist to the death every plan + for my imprisonment in the hateful nunnery. Therefore they promised that I + should have the opportunity to see the King on the morrow in company with + my mother. + </p> + <p> + On the following day, at twelve o'clock, we left the convent in our + carriage for the palace. We were very politely received by the gentleman + usher, who conducted us to seats in the reception-room. After sending our + cards to the king, we waited nearly one hour before he made his + appearance. His majesty received us with much kindness, raised us + immediately from our knees, and demanded our business. I was greatly + embarrassed at first, but the frank and cordial manner of the sovereign + soon restored me to my equilibrium, and I spoke freely in behalf of my + dear father. The king heard me through very patiently, with apparent + interest, and said, "Signorina, I am inclined to believe you have spoken + the truth; and as your father has always been a good loyal subject, I + shall, for your sake, forgive him this offence; but let him beware that + henceforth, wine or no wine, he does not trespass against the laws of the + kingdom, for a second offence I will not pardon. Go in peace, signoras, + you have my royal word." + </p> + <p> + We thanked his majesty, and returned to our home with the joyful tidings. + O, how brief was our joy! My father, who had been waiting the result of + our visit to the palace with great impatience, received us with open arms, + and pressed us to his heart again and again. + </p> + <p> + I was so excited that, long before we got to him, I cried out, "All is + well, all is well, father. A pardon from the king! Joy, joy!" We drove + home, and father went immediately to spread the happy news amongst his + friends. All our faithful domestics, including my old affectionate nurse, + were so overjoyed at the news that they danced about like maniacs. My + father was always a very indulgent and liberal master, furnished his + servants with the best of Italian fare, plenty of fresh beef, wine, and + macaroni. We had scarcely got rested, when our tormenter, the confessor, + came into our room and said, "Signoras, what is the meaning of all this + fandango and folly amongst the servants? ARE THE HERETICS ALL KILLED, that + there should be such joy, or has the queen been delivered of a son, an + heir to the throne?" + </p> + <p> + My dear mother was now as pale as death, and silent, for she saw that the + priest was awfully enraged; for, although he feigned to smile, his smile + was similar to that of the hyena when digging his prey out of the grave. + The priest's dark and villainous visage had the effect of confirming in my + mother's mind all the truth regarding the plot to enslave me for life, and + secure all my father's estate to the pockets of the priests. The confessor + was now terribly mad, for two obvious reasons: one was because he was not + received by us with our usual cordiality and blind affection; the other, + because, by the king's pardon, I was not under the necessity to sacrifice + my liberty and happiness for life to save my father from prison; and what + tormented him the most was, that he believed that I, though young, could + understand and thwart his hellish plans. As my mother trembled and was + silent, fearing the priest was cursing her and her only daughter in his + heart,—for the priests tell such awful stories about the effects of + a priest's curse that the great mass of the Italian people fear it more + than the plague or any earthly misfortune. + </p> + <p> + The popish priests declare that St. Peter is the doorkeeper of the great + city of God, the heavenly Jerusalem, that he has the keys of the kingdom + of heaven, and has received strict orders not to admit any soul, under any + circumstances, who has been cursed by a holy priest, unless that curse has + been removed by the same priest in the tribunal of penance. I was obliged + to speak to his reverence, and I felt so free, so happy in Christ as my + only hope, that I opened my mind to the priest very freely, and told him + what I thought of him and his plot. "Sir priest," said I, "I shall never + return to the convent to stay long. As soon as the time for my education + ends, I shall return to liberty and domestic life. I am not made of the + proper material to make a nun of. I love the social domestic circle; I + love my father and mother, and all our domestics, even the dogs and the + cats, pigeons, and canaries, the fish-ponds, play-grounds, gardens, + rivers, and landscapes, mountain and ocean,—all the works of God I + love. I shall live out of the convent to enjoy these things; therefore, + reverend sir, if you value my peace and good-will, never speak to me or my + parents on the subject of my becoming a nun in any convent. I shall prefer + death to the loss of my personal liberty." + </p> + <p> + I was so decided, and had received such strength and grace from heaven, + that the priest was dumbfounded,—my smooth stone out of the sling + had hit him in the right place. After much effort to appear bland and + good-natured, he drew near my chair, seized my hand, and said, "My dear + daughter, you mistake me. I love you as a daughter, I wish only your + happiness. Your god-father, the holy Bishop, does not intend that you + shall remain a common nun more than a year. After the first year you shall + be raised to the highest dignity in the convent. You shall be the Lady + Superior, and all the nuns shall bow at your feet, and implicitly obey + your commands. + </p> + <p> + "The Lady Superior of St. Clara is now very old, and his lordship wishes + soon to fill her place. For that purpose he has selected his adopted + daughter. Your talents, education, wealth, and high position in society, + eminently fit you for one of the highest dignities on earth." + </p> + <p> + "A thousand thanks for the kindness of my lord Bishop," said I; "but your + reverence has not altered my mind in the least. I can never bow down to + the feet of any Lady Superior, neither will I ever consent to see a single + human being degraded at my feet. The holy Bible says, 'Thou shalt worship + the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.'" "Bible, my daughter!" + exclaimed the priest, "Where did you see that dangerous book? Know you not + that his holiness the Pope has placed it in the Index Expurgatorius, + because it has been the means of the damnation of millions of souls? Not + because it is in itself a bad book, but because it is a theological work, + prepared only for the priests and ministers of our holy religion. + Therefore, it is always a very dangerous book in the hands of women or + laymen, who wrest the Scriptures to their own destruction." + </p> + <p> + "Well, reverend sir," I replied, "you seem determined to differ from the + Lord Jesus and his apostles. I read in the New Testament that we should + search the Scriptures because they testify of Christ. And one of the + apostles, I don't remember which, said, 'all scripture is given by the + inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine and for instruction in + righteousness.' Now, reverend sir, if the people have souls, as well as + the priests, why should they not read the word of God which speaks of + Christ and is profitable for instruction?" + </p> + <p> + "You are almost a heretic!" exclaimed the priest, "and you talk very much + like one." His countenance changed to a pale sickly hue, as he said, "My + daughter, where did you get that dangerous book? If you have, it in your + possession, give it to me, and I will bless you, and pray for you to the + blessed Madonna that she may save you from the infernal pit of heresy." + </p> + <p> + "I do not own the blessed book," said I, "but I wish I did. I would give + one hundred scudi in gold for a copy of the New Testament. I borrowed a + copy from a friend, and returned it to the owner again. But I understand + that there are copies to be had in London, and when I have a good + opportunity I shall send for a copy, if I can do it unbeknown to any one." + </p> + <p> + "Enough, enough!" exclaimed the priest. "I shall be in the tribunal of + penance at six o'clock P.M.; there I shall expect to meet you. You need + pardon immediately, and spiritual advice. Should you die as you now are + without absolution, you would be lost and damned forever. I tremble for + you, my dear daughter, seeing that the devil has got such a powerful hold + of you. It may even be absolutely necessary to kill the body to save your + soul; for should you relapse again into heresy after due penance for this + crime has been performed, it would be impossible to renew you again to + repentance, seeing you crucify the Lord and the Madonna afresh, and put + them to an open shame." + </p> + <p> + Here my mother fainted and shook like an aspen leaf. But God gave me + strength, and I said in a moment that as his reverence thought my sins so + great, I would not go to any man, no, not even to the Pope; I would go to + God alone, and leave my cause in his hands, life or death. "Therefore, + reverend sir, I shall save you from all further trouble in attending the + confessional any more on my account. From henceforth no earthly power + shall drag me alive and with my consent to the tribunal of penance." + </p> + <p> + "Woman!" exclaimed the priest furiously, "are you mad? There are ten + thousand devils in you, and we must drive them out by some means." After + this discharge of priestly venom, the priest left in a rage giving the + door a terrible slam, which awoke my mother from her sorrowful trance. + During the whole conversation, such was the electrical power of the priest + over my mother's weak and nervous system, that if she attempted to say a + word in my behalf, the keen, snakish black eye of the priest would at once + make her tremble and quail before him, and the half uttered word would + remain silent on her lips. The priest went at once in search of my father. + He came home boiling over with rage, saying he wished I had never been + born. He cursed the day of my birth. The cause of all this paternal fury + upon my poor devoted head was the foul misrepresentations of my father + confessor, who was now in league with the Bishop, both determined to shut + me up in a prison convent, or end my mortal career. + </p> + <p> + My poor mother remained mute and heart-broken. My sweet mother; never did + she utter one word of unkindness to me; her very look to the last was one + of gentleness and love. But my father loved honor and reputation amongst + men above all other things. The idea of being the father of an accursed + heretic, tormented his pride, and he being suspected of heresy himself + caused him to be forsaken by many of his proud friends and acquaintances. + He was even insulted in the streets by the numerous Lazaroni, with the + epithet of Maldito Corrobonari, so that I lost my father's love. And when + the confessor told him there was no other way to save me from hell than an + entire life of penance in a convent, he heartily and freely gave his + consent. Mother, my own sweet mother, my only remaining friend, turned as + pale as death, but was enabled to say a word in my behalf. + </p> + <p> + I saw that my earthly doom was sealed; there was not a single voice in all + Naples to save me from imprisonment for life. Not a tongue in four hundred + thousand that would dare speak one word in my behalf. Father commanded me + to get ready to leave his house forever that very night, saying the + carriage and confessor would be on hand to take me away at eight o'clock + P.M., by moonlight. I got on my knees and begged my father as a last + request that he would allow me to remain three days with my mother, but he + refused. Said he, "That is now beyond my power. Not an hour can you remain + after eight o'clock." + </p> + <p> + As I knew not when I should see my Tuscan friend again, I begged the + privilege of seeing her for a few moments. I was anxious to ask her + prayers and sympathy, and to put her on her guard, for should the priests + discover her New Testament, they would punish her as they did me, or as + they intended to do to me. But this favor was denied me, and I could not + write to her, for all letters of the scholars in the convents, are opened + under the pretence to prevent them from receiving love-letters. The Romish + church keeps all her dark plans a secret, but never allows any secret to + be kept from the priests. + </p> + <p> + I went into my room to bid farewell to my home forever. I fell on my knees + and prayed to God for his dear Son's sake to help me, to give me patience, + and to keep me from the sin of suicide. The more I thought of my utterly + unprotected situation and of the savage disposition of my foes, the + priests, the more I thought of the propriety of taking my own life, rather + than live in a dungeon all my days. Such was the power of superstition + over our domestics that they looked upon me as one accursed of the church, + a Protestant heretic, and not one of them would take my hand or bid me + good bye. At tea-time I was not allowed to sit at table with father, + mother, and the confessor, as formerly. But I had my supper sent up to my + room. + </p> + <p> + A short time after the bell rang for vespers, the carriage being ready, my + father and the confessor with myself and one small trunk got into the best + seats inside, and rode off at a rapid rate. I kept my veil over my face, + and said not a word neither did I shed a single tear; my sorrow, and + indignation was too deep for utterance or even for tears. The priest and + my father uttered not a word. Perhaps my father's conscience made him + ashamed of such vile work—that of laying violent hands on a + defenceless girl of eighteen years of age, for no crime whatever, only the + love of liberty and pure Bible religion. But if the priest was silent, his + vile countenance indicated a degree of hellish pleasure and satisfaction. + Never did piratical captain glory more in seeing a rich prize along side + with all hands killed and out of the way, than my reverend confessor; yet + a short time before he said he loved me as a daughter. Yes, he did love + me, as the wolf loves the lamb, as the cat loves the mouse and as the boa + constrictor the beautiful gazelle. To my momentary satisfaction we entered + the big gate of St. Ursula, for although I knew I should suffer there + perhaps even death, there was some satisfaction in seeing a few faces that + I had seen in my gay and happy days, now alas! forever gone by! I was + somewhat grieved by the cold reception I received. All seemed to look upon + me with horror. But none of these things moved me; I looked to God for + strength, for I felt that He alone could nerve me for the conflict. The + hardest blow of all was, my dear father left me at the mercy of the priest + without one kind look or word. He did not even shake hands with me, nor + did he say farewell. + </p> + <p> + Oh Popery, what a mysterious power is thine! Thou canst in a few hours + destroy powerful love which it took long years to cement in loving hearts. + When my father had left and I heard the porter lock the heavy iron gate I + felt an exquisite wretchedness come over me. I would have given worlds for + death at that moment. In a few moments the priest rung a bell, and the old + Jezebel the mother Abbess made her appearance. "Take this heretic, Holy + Mother, and place her in confinement in the lower regions; GIVE HER BREAD + AND WATER ONCE IN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS, THE WATER THAT YOU HAVE WASHED YOUR + SACRED FEET IN, NO OTHER; give her straw to sleep on, but no pillow. Take + all her clothing away and give her a coarse tunic; one single coarse + garment to cover her nakedness, but no shoes. She has grievously sinned + against the holy mother church, and now she mercifully imposes upon her + years of severe penance, that her body of sin may be destroyed and her + soul saved after suffering one million of years in holy purgatory. Our + chief duty now, holy mother, in order to save this lost soul from mortal + sin will be to examine her carefully every, day to ascertain if possible + what she most dislikes, or what is most revolting to her flesh, that + whatever it may be, she, must be compelled to perform it whatever it may + cost. Let a holy wax candle burn in her cell at night, until further + orders. And let the Tuscan heretic be treated in the same way. They are + both guilty of the same crimes." At the word "Tuscan heretic," possessing + the spirit of Christ that I knew on earth. Yet how true it is that misery + loves company; there was even satisfaction in being near my unfortunate + friend though our sufferings might be unutterable. Still I was unhappy in + the thought that she was suffering on my account. Had I never said a word + about borrowing a New Testament, she would never have been suspected as + being the direct cause of my conversion to the truth, and of my + renunciation of the vile confessional. + </p> + <p> + I was somewhat puzzled to know what kind of a place was meant by the lower + regions; I had never heard of these regions before. But soon two women in + black habits with their faces entirely covered excepting two small holes + for the eyes to peep through, came to me and without speaking, made signs + for me to follow them. I did so without resistance, and soon found myself + in an under-ground story of the infernal building. "There is your cell," + said the cowled inquisitors, "look all around, see every thing, but speak + not; no not for your life. The softest whisper will immediately reach the + ears of the Mother Abbess, and then you are loaded with heavy chains until + you die, for there must be no talking or whispering in this holy retreat + of penance. And," said my jailor further, "take off your clothes, shoes + and stockings, and put on this holy coarse garment which will chafe thy + flesh but will bless thy soul. Holy St. Francis saved many souls by this + holy garment." + </p> + <p> + As resistance was worse than useless, I complied, and soon found my poor + feet aching with the cold on the bare stone floor. I was soon made to feel + the blessing of St. Francis with a vengeance. My sufferings were + indescribable. It seemed as though ten thousand bees had stung me in every + part. I never closed my eyes for several nights. I laid on my coarse straw + and groaned and sighed for death to come and relieve me of my anguish. As + soon as the holy wax candle was left with me I took it in my hand and went + forth to survey my dungeon; but I did not enjoy my ramble. In one of the + cells, I found my Tuscan friend—that dear Christian sister—in + great agony, having had on the accursed garment for several days. Her body + was one entire blister, and very much inflamed. Her bones were racked with + pain, as with the most excruciating inflammatory rheumatism. We recognized + each other; she pointed to heaven as if to say 'trust in the Lord, my + sister, our sufferings will soon be over.' I kissed my hand to her and + returned again to my cell. I saw other victims half dead and emaciated + that made my heart sick. I refrained from speaking to any one for I feared + my condition, wretched as it was, might be rendered even worse, if + possible by the fiends who had entire power over me. "O my God!" said I to + myself, "why was I born? O give my soul patience to suffer every pain." + </p> + <p> + On the fourth day of my imprisonment the jailor brought me some water and + soap, a towel, brush and comb, and the same clothes I wore when I entered + the foul den. They told me to make haste and prepare myself to appear + before the holy Bishop. Hope revived in my soul, for I always thought that + my god-father had some regard for me, and had now come to release me from + the foul den I was in. Cold water seemed to afford much relief to my + tortured body. I made my toilet as quick as I could in such a place. My + feet were so numb and swollen that it was difficult for me to get my shoes + on. At last the Bishop arrived as I supposed, and I was conducted—not + into his presence as I expected, but into that of my bitterest enemy, the + confessor. At the very sight of the monster, I trembled like a reed shaken + by the wind. The priest walked to each of the doors, locked them, put the + keys into a small writing desk, locked it, took out the key and placed it + carefully in his sleeve pocket. This he did to assure me that we were + alone, that not one of the inmates could by any means disturb for the + present the holy meditations of the priest. He bade me take a seat on the + sofa by him. In kind soft words he said to me, that if I was only docile + and obedient, he would cause me to be treated like a princess, and that in + a short time I should have my liberty if I preferred to return to the + world. At the same time he attempted to put his arm around my waist. In a + moment I was on my feet. While he was talking love to me, I was looking at + two large alabaster vases full of beautiful wax flowers; one of them was + as much as I could lift. Without one thought about consequences, I seized + the nearest vase and threw it with all the strength I had at the priest's + head. He fell like a log and uttered one or two groans. The vase was + broken. It struck the priest on the right temple, close to the ear. For a + moment I listened to see if any one were coming. I then looked at the + priest, and saw the blood running out of his wound. I quaked with fear + lest I had killed the destroyer of my peace. I did not intend to kill him, + I only wished to stun him, that I might take the keys, open the door and + run, for the back door of the priest's room led right into a back path + where the gates were frequently opened daring the day time. This was about + twelve o'clock, and a most favorable moment for me to escape. In a moment + I had searched the sleeve pocket of the priest, found the key and a heavy + purse of gold which I secured in my dress pocket. I opened the little + writing desk and took out the key to the back door. I saw that the priest + was not dead, and I had not the least doubt from appearances, but that he + would soon come to. I trembled for fear he might wake before I could get + away. I thought of my dear Tuscan sister in her wretched cell, but I could + not get to her without being discovered. There was no time to be lost. I + opened the door with the greatest facility and gained the opening into the + back path. I locked the door after me, and brought the key with me for a + short distance, then placed all the keys tinder a rock. I had no hat but + only a black veil. I threw that over my head after the fashion of Italy + and gained the outer gate. There were masons at work near the gate which + was open and I passed through into the street without being questioned by + any one. + </p> + <p> + As I had not a nun's dress on, no one supposed I belonged to the + Institution. I walked down directly to the sea coast. I could speak a few + English words which I had learned from some English friends of my father. + Before I got to where the boats lay I saw a gentleman whom I took to be an + English or American gentleman. He had a pleasant face, looked at me very + kindly, saw my pale dejected face and at once felt a deep sympathy for me. + As I appeared to be in trouble and needed help, he extended his hand to me + and said in tolerable good Italian, "Como va' le' signorina?" that is "How + do you do young lady?" I asked him what was his country. "Me," said he, + "Americano, Americano, capitano de Bastimento." (American captain of a + ship.) "Signor Capitano," said I, "I wish to go on board your ship and see + an American ship." "Well," said he, "with a great deal of pleasure; my + ship lies at anchor, my men are waiting; you shall dine with me, + Signorina." + </p> + <p> + I praised God in my soul for this merciful providence of meeting a friend, + though a stranger, whose face seemed to me so honest and so true. Any + condition, even honest slavery, would have been preferred by me at that + time to a convent. The American ship was the most beautiful thing I ever + saw afloat; splendid and neat in all her cabin arrangements. The mates + were polite, and the sailors appeared neat and happy. Even the black cook + showed his beautiful white teeth, as though he was glad to see one of the + ladies of Italy. Poor fellows! Little did they know at that time what + peril I was in should I be found out and taken back to my dungeon again. I + informed the captain of my situation, of having just escaped from a + convent into which I had been forced against my will. I told him I would + pay him my passage to America, if he would hide me somewhere until the + ship was well out to sea. He said I had come just in time, for he was only + waiting for a fair wind, and hoped to be off that evening. "I have," said + he, "a large number of bread-casks on board, and two are empty. I shall + have you put into one of these, in which I shall make augur-holes, so that + you can have plenty of fresh air. Down in the hold amongst the provisions + you will be safe." I thanked my kind friend and requested him to buy me + some needles, silk, and cotton thread, and some stuff for a couple of + dresses, and one-piece of fine cotton, so that I might make myself + comfortable during the voyage. + </p> + <p> + After I ate my dinner, the men called the captain and said there were + several boats full of soldiers coming to the ship, accompanied by the + priests. "Lady," exclaimed the captain, "they are after you. There is not + a moment to be lost. Follow me," he continued. "And, Mr. Smith, tell the + men to be careful and not make known that there is a lady on board." + </p> + <p> + An awful cold chill ran over me. I followed my friend quickly, and soon + found myself coiled in a large cask. The captain coopered the head, which + was missing, and made holes for me to get the air; but the perspiration + ran off my face in a stream. Lots of things were piled on the cask, so + that I had hard work to breathe; but such was my fear of the priests that + I would rather have perished in the cask than be returned to die by + inches. + </p> + <p> + The captain had been gone but a short time when I heard steps on deck, and + much noise and confusion. As the hatches were open, I could hear very + distinctly. After the whole company were on deck, the captain invited the + priests and friars, about twenty in number, to walk down to the cabin, and + explain the cause of their visit. They talked through an interpreter, and + said that "a woman of bad character had robbed one of the churches of a + large amount of gold, had attempted to murder one of the holy priests, but + they were happy to say that the holy father, though badly wounded, was in + a fair way of recovery. This woman is young, but very desperate, has awful + raving fits, and has recently escaped from a lunatic institution. When her + fits of madness come on they are obliged to put her into a straight + jacket, for she is the most dangerous person in Italy. A great reward is + offered for her by her father and the government—five thousand + scudi. Is not this enough to tempt one to help find her? She was seen + coming towards the shipping, and we want the privilege of searching your + ship." + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen," said the captain, "I do not know that the Italian authorities + have any right to search an American ship, under the stars and stripes of + the United States, for we do not allow even the greatest naval power on + earth to do that thing. But if such a mad and dangerous woman as you have + described should by any means have smuggled herself on board my ship, you + are quite welcome to take her away as soon as possible, for I should be + afraid of my life if I was within one hundred yards of such an unfortunate + creature. If you can get her into your lunatic asylum, the quicker the + better; and the five thousand scudi will come in good time, for I am + thinking of building me a larger ship on my return home. Now, gentlemen, + come; I will assist you, for I should like to see the gold in my pocket." + The captain opened all his closets and secret places, in the cabin and + forecastle and in the hold; everything was searched, all but the identical + bread-cask in which I was snugly coiled. + </p> + <p> + After something like half an hour's search, the soldiers of King Ferdinand + and the priests of King Pope left the ship, satisfied that the crazy nun + was not on board; for, judging the captain by themselves, they thought he + certainly would have given up a mad woman for the sake of five thousand + scudi in gold, and for the safety of his own peace and comfort. A few + moments after the Pope's friends had left, the excellent benevolent + captain came down, and speedily and gently knocking off a few hoops with a + hammer, took the head out, and I was free once more to breathe God's free + air. I lifted my trembling heart in thanksgiving, while tears of gratitude + rolled down my cheeks. Yet, as we were still within the reach of the guns + of the papal forts, my heart was by no means at rest. But the good captain + assured me repeatedly that all danger was past, for he had twenty-five men + on board, all true Protestants, and he declared that all the priests of + Naples would walk over their dead bodies before they should reach his + vessel a second time. "And besides," said the captain, "there are two + American men-of-war in port, who will stand up for the rights of + Americans. They have not yet forgotten Captain Ingraham, of the United + States ship St. Louis, and his rescue from the Austrian papists of the + Hungarian patriot, Martin Kozsta." The captain wisely refused to purchase + any needles or thread for me on shore, or any articles of ladies' dress, + for fear of the Jesuitical spies, who might surmise something and cause + further trouble. But he kindly furnished me with some goods he had + purchased for his own wife, and there were needles and silk enough on + board, so that I soon cut and made a few articles that made me very + comfortable during our voyage of thirty-two days to London. + </p> + <p> + Early the next morning we sailed out of the beautiful harbor of Naples, + with a fair wind. The beautiful ship seemed to fly over the blue sea. I + staid on deck gazing at my native city as long as I could. I thought then + of my once happy home, of my poor, broken-hearted mother, of my unhappy + father. Although he had cast me off through the foul play of Jesuitical + intrigue, my love for my dear father remained the same. "Farewell, my dear + Italy," I said to myself. "When, my poor native land, wilt thou be happy? + Never, never, so long as the Pope lives, and his wicked, murderous + priests, to curse thee by their power." + </p> + <p> + After we got out into the open sea, the motion of the ship made me feel + very sick, and I was so starved out before I came on board, that what good + provisions I ate on board did not seem to agree with me. My stomach was in + a very bad state, for while I was in the lower regions of the convent I + ate only a small quantity of very stale hard bread once in twenty-four + hours, at the ringing of the vesper bells every evening, and the water + given me was that in which the holy Mother Abbess had washed her sacred + feet. But I must give the holy mother credit for one good omission—she + did not use any soap. + </p> + <p> + The captain gave me a good state-room which I occupied with an English + lady passenger. This good lady was accustomed to the sea, therefore, she + did not suffer any inconvenience from sea-sickness; but I was very sick, + so that I kept my berth for five days. This good Protestant lady was very + kind and attentive during the whole passage, and kindly assisted me in + getting my garments made up on board. On our arrival in London, the + captain said that he would sail for America in two weeks time, and very + kindly offered me a free passage to his happy, native land; and I could + not persuade him to take any money for my passage from Naples, nor for the + clothing he had given me. + </p> + <p> + My fellow passenger being wealthy, and well acquainted with people in + England, took me to her splendid home, a few miles from London. At her + residence I was introduced to a young French gentleman, a member of the + Evangelical protestant church in France, and a descendant of the pious + persecuted Huguenots. This gentleman speaks good English and Italian, + having enjoyed the privilege of a superior education. His fervent prayers + at the family altar morning and evening made a very deep impression on my + mind. He became deeply interested in my history, and offered to take me to + France, after I should become his lawful wife. + </p> + <p> + Though I did not like the idea of choosing another popish country for my + residence, yet as my friend assured me that I should enjoy my protestant + religion unmolested, I gave him my hand and my heart. My lady fellow + passenger was my bridesmaid. We were married by a good protestant + minister. My husband is a wealthy merchant—gives me means and + opportunities for doing good. Home is precious in a foreign land. Our home + is one of piety and peace and happiness. The blessed Bible is read by us + every day. Morning and evening we sing God's praise, and call upon the + name of the Lord. Our prayer is that God may deliver beloved France and + Italy from the curse of popery. + </p> + <p> + Another proof of the persecuting spirit of Rome is furnished by the + "Narrative of Raffaele Ciocci, formerly a Benedictine Monk, but who now + 'comes forth from Inquisitorial search and torture, and tells us what he + has seen, heard and felt.'" We can make but a few extracts from this + interesting little volume, published by the American and Foreign Christian + Union, who,—to use their own language—"send it forth as a + voice of instruction and warning to the American people. Let the facts be + heard and read. They are not to be set aside by an apology for the dark + ages, nor an appeal to the refinement of the nineteenth century. Here is + Rome, not as she WAS in the midnight of the world, but as she IS at the + present moment. There is the same opposition to private judgment—the + same coercive measures—the same cruel persecution—the same + efforts to crush the civil and religious liberties of her own subjects, + for which she has ever been characterized." + </p> + <p> + Ciocci, compelled at an early age to enter the Catholic College—forced, + notwithstanding his deep disgust and earnest remonstrance, to become a + monk—imprisoned—deceived—the victim of priestly artifice + and fraud, at length becomes a Christian. He is of course thrown into a + deeper dungeon; and more exquisite anguish inflicted upon him that he may + be constrained to return to the Romish faith. Of his imprisonment he says, + "We traversed long corridors till we arrived at the door of an apartment + which they requested me to enter, and they themselves retired. On opening + the door I found myself in a close dark room, barely large enough for the + little furniture it contained, which consisted of a small hard bed, hard + as the conscience of an inquisitor, a little table cut all over, and a + dirty ill-used chair. The window which was shut and barred with iron + resisted all my efforts to open it My heart sunk within me, and I began to + cogitate on the destiny in store for me." The Jesuit Giuliani entering his + room, he asked that the window might be opened for the admission of light + and air. Before the words were finished he exclaimed in a voice of + thunder, "How! wretched youth, thou complainest of the dark, whilst thou + art living in the clouds of error? Dost thou desire the light of heaven, + while thou rejectest the light of the Catholic faith?" + </p> + <p> + Ciocci saw that remonstrance was useless, but he reminded his jailer that + he had been sent there for three days, to receive instruction, not to be + treated as a criminal. + </p> + <p> + "For three days," he resumed, counterfeiting my tone of voice, "for three + days! That would be nothing. The dainty youth will not forsooth, be + roughly treated; it remains to be seen whether he desires to be + courteously entertained. Be converted, be converted, condemned soul! + Fortunate is it for thee that thou art come to this place. THOU WILT NEVER + quit it excepting with the real fruits of repentance! Among these silent + shades canst thou meditate at thy leisure upon the deplorable state into + which thou hast fallen. Woe unto thee, if thou refusest to listen to the + voice of God, who conducts souls into solitude that he may speak with + them." "So saying," he continues, "he abruptly left me. I remained alone + drooping under the weight of a misfortune, which was the more severe, + because totally unexpected. I stood, I know not how long, in the same + position, but on recovering from this lethargy, my first idea was of + flight. But this thought was at once abandoned. There was no possibility + of flight. Without giving a minute account of the manner in which I passed + my wearisome days and nights in this prison, let it suffice to say that + they were spent in listening to sermons preached to me four times a day by + the fathers Giuliani and Rossini, and in the most gloomy reflections. + </p> + <p> + "In the mean time the miseries I endured were aggravated by the heat of + the season, the wretchedness of the chamber, scantiness of food, and the + rough severity of those by whom I was occasionally visited. Uncertainty as + to when this imprisonment would be at an end, almost drove me wild, and + the first words I addressed to those who approached me were, 'Have the + kindness to tell me when I shall be permitted to leave this place?' One + replied, 'My son, think of hell.' I interrogated another; the answer was, + 'Think my son, how terrible is the death of the sinner!' I spoke to a + third, to a fourth, and one said to me, 'My son, what will be your + feeling, if, on the day of judgment you find yourself on the left hand of + God?' the other, 'Paradise, my son, Paradise!' No one gave me a direct + answer; their object appeared to be to mistify and confound me. After the + first few days, I began to feel most severely the want of a change of + clothing. Accustomed to cleanliness, I found myself constrained to wear + soiled apparel. * * * For the want of a comb, my hair became rough and + entangled. After the fourth day my portion of food was diminished; a sign, + that they were pressing the siege, that it was their intention to adopt + both assault and blockade—to conquer me by arms, or induce me to + capitulate through hunger. I had been shut up in this wretched place for + thirteen days, when, one day, about noon, the Father Mislei, the author of + all my misery, entered my cell. + </p> + <p> + "At the sight of this man, resentment overcame every other consideration, + and I advanced towards him fully prepared to indulge my feelings, when he, + with his usual smile, expressed in bland words his deep regret at having + been the cause of my long detention in this retreat. 'Never could I have + supposed,' said he, 'that my anxiety for the salvation of your soul would + have brought you into so much tribulation. But rest assured the fault is + not entirely mine. You have yourself, in a great degree, by your useless + obstinacy, been the cause of your sufferings. Ah, well, we will yet remedy + all.' Not feeling any confidence in his assurance, I burst out into bitter + invectives and fierce words. He then renewed his protestations, and + clothed them with such a semblance of honesty and truth, that when he + ended with this tender conclusion, 'Be assured, my son, that I love you,' + my anger vanished. * * * I lost sight of the Jesuit, and thought I was + addressing a man, a being capable of sympathising in the distresses of + others. 'Ah, well, father,' said I, 'I need some one on whom I can rely, + some one towards whom I can feel kindly; I will therefore place confidence + in your words.'" After some further conversation, Ciocci was asked if he + wished to leave that place. "If I desire it!" he replied, "what a strange + question! You might as well ask a condemned soul whether he desires to + escape from hell!" At these words the Jesuit started like a goaded animal, + and, forgetting his mission of deceiver, with, knit brows and compressed + lips, he allowed his ferocious soul for one moment to appear; but, having + grown old in deceit, he immediately had the circumspection to give this + movement of rage the appearance of religious zeal, and exclaimed, "What + comparisons are these? Are you not ashamed to assume the language of the + Atheist? By speaking in this way you clearly manifest how little you + deserve to leave this place. But since I have told you that I love you, I + will give you a proof of it by thinking no more of those irreligious + expressions; they shall be forgotten as though they had never been spoken. + Well, the Cardinal proposes to you an easy way of returning to your + monastery." "What does he propose?" "Here is the way," said he, presenting + me with a paper: "copy this with your own hand; nothing more will be + required of you." "I took the paper with convulsive eagerness. It was a + recantation of my faith, there condemned as erroneous. * * * Upon reading + this, I shuddered, and, starting to my feet, in a solemn attitude and with + a firm voice, exclaimed, 'Kill me, if you please; my life is in your + power; but never will I subscribe to that iniquitous formulary.' The + Jesuit, after laboring in vain to persuade me to his wishes, went away in + anger. I now momentarily expected to be conducted to the torture. Whenever + I was taken from my room to the chapel, I feared lest some trap-door + should open beneath my feet, and therefore took great care to tread in the + footsteps of the Jesuit who preceded me. No one acquainted with the + Inquisition will say that my precaution was needless. My imagination was + so filled with the horrors of this place, that even in my short, + interrupted, and feverish dreams I beheld daggers and axes glittering + around me; I heard the noise of wheels, saw burning piles and heated + irons, and woke in convulsive terror, only to give myself up to gloomy + reflections, inspired by the reality of my situation, and the impressions + left by these nocturnal visions. What tears did I shed in those dreary + moments! How innumerable were the bitter wounds that lacerated my heart! + My prayers seemed to me unworthy to be received by a God of charity, + because, notwithstanding all my efforts to banish from my soul every + feeling of resentment towards my persecutors, hatred returned with + redoubled power. I often repeated the words of Christ, 'Father, forgive + them, they know not what they do;' but immediately a voice would answer, + 'This prayer is not intended for the Jesuits; they resemble not the + crucifiers, who were blind instruments of the rage of the Jews; while + these men are fully conscious of what they are doing; they are the modern + Pharisees.' The reading of the Bible would have afforded me great + consolation, but this was denied me." * * * + </p> + <p> + The fourteenth day of his imprisonment he was taken to the council to hear + his sentence, when he was again urged to sign the form of recantation. But + he refused. The Father Rossini then spoke: "You are decided; let it be, + then, as you deserve. Rebellious son of the church, in the fullness of the + power which she has received from Christ, you shall feel the holy rigor of + her laws. She cannot permit tares to grow with the good seed. She cannot + suffer you to remain among her sons and become the stumbling-block for the + ruin of many. Abandon, therefore, all hope of leaving this place, and of + returning to dwell among the faithful. KNOW, ALL IS FINISHED FOR YOU!" + </p> + <p> + For the conclusion of this narrative we refer the reader to the volume + itself. + </p> + <p> + If any more evidence were needed to show that the spirit of Romanism is + the same to-day that it has ever been, we find it in the account of a + legal prosecution against ten Christians at Beldac, in France, for holding + and attending a public worship not licensed by the civil authority. They + had made repeated, respectful, and earnest applications to the prefect of + the department of Hante-Vienne for the authorization required by law, and + which, in their case, ought to have been given. It was flatly refused. + They persisted in rendering to God that worship which his own command and + their consciences required. For this they were arraigned as above stated, + on the 10th of August, 1855. On the 26th of January, 1856, the case was + decided by the "tribunal," and the three pastors and one lady, a + schoolmistress, were condemned to pay a fine of one thousand francs each, + and some of the others five-hundred francs each, the whole amount, + together with legal expenditures, exceeding the sum of nine thousand + francs. + </p> + <p> + Meantime, the converts continue to hold their worship-meetings in the + woods, barns, and secret places, in order not to be surprised by the + police commissioner, and to avoid new official reports. + </p> + <p> + "Thus, you see," says V. De Pressense, in a letter to the 'American and + foreign Christian Union,' "that we are brought back to the religious + meetings of the desert, when the Protestants of the Cevennes evinced such + persevering fidelity. The only difference is, that these Christians + belonged only a short time ago to that church which is now instigating + persecutions against them." + </p> + <p> + DESTRUCTION OF THE INQUISITION IN SPAIN. + </p> + <p> + In 1809, Col. Lehmanowsky was attached to the part of Napoleon's army + which was stationed in Madrid. "While in that city," said Col. L., "I used + to speak freely among the people what I thought of the Priests and + Jesuits, and of the Inquisition. It had been decreed by the Emperor + Napoleon that the Inquisition and the Monasteries should be suppressed, + but the decree, he said, like some of the laws enacted in this country, + was not executed." + </p> + <p> + Months had passed away, and the prisons of the Inquisition had not been + opened. One night, about ten or eleven o'clock, as he was walking one of + the streets of Madrid, two armed men sprang upon him from an alley, and + made a furious attack. He instantly drew his sword, put himself in a + posture of defence, and while struggling with them, he saw at a distance + the lights of the patrols,—French soldiers mounted, who carried + lanterns, and who rode through the streets of the city at all hours of the + night, to preserve order. He called to them in French, and as they + hastened to his assistance, the assailants took to their heels and + escaped; not, however, before he saw by their dress that they belonged to + the guards of the Inquisition. + </p> + <p> + He went immediately to Marshal Soult, then Governor of Madrid, told him + what had taken place, and reminded him of the decree to suppress this + institution. Marshal Soult told him that he might go and suppress it The + Colonel said that his regiment (the 9th. of the Polish Lancers,) was not + sufficient for such a service, but if he would give him two additional + regiments, the 117th, and another which he named, he would undertake the + work. The 117th regiment was under the command of Col. De Lile, who is + now, like Col. L., a minister of the gospel, and pastor of an evangelical + church in Marseilles, France. "The troops required were granted, and I + proceeded," said Col. L., "to the Inquisition which was situated about + five miles from the city. It was surrounded by a wall of great strength, + and defended by a company of soldiers. When we arrived at the walls, I + addressed one of the sentinels, and summoned the holy fathers to surrender + to the Imperial army, and open the gates of the Inquisition. The sentinel + who was standing on the wall, appeared to enter into conversation with + some one within, at the close of which he presented his musket, and shot + one of my men. This was the signal of attack, and I ordered my troops to + fire upon those who appeared on the walls." + </p> + <p> + It was soon obvious that it was an unequal warfare. The soldiers of the + holy office were partially protected by a breast-work upon the walls which + were covered with soldiers, while our troops were in the open plain, and + exposed to a destructive fire. We had no cannon, nor could we scale the + walls, and the gates successfully resisted all attempts at forcing them. I + could not retire and send for cannon to break through the walls without + giving them time to lay a train for blowing us up. I saw that it was + necessary to change the mode of attack, and directed some trees to be cut + down and trimmed, to be used as battering rams. Two of these were taken up + by detachments of men, as numerous as could work to advantage, and brought + to bear upon the walls with all the power they could exert, while the + troops kept up a fire to protect them from the fire poured upon them from + the walls. Presently the walls began to tremble, a breach was made, and + the Imperial troops rushed into the Inquisition. Here we met with an + incident, which nothing but Jesuitical effrontery is equal to. The + Inquisitor General, followed by the father confessors in their priestly + robes, all came out of their rooms, as we were making our way into the + interior of the Inquisition, and with long faces, and arms crossed over + their breasts, their fingers resting on their shoulders, as though they + had been deaf to all the noise of the attack and defence, and had just + learned what was going on, they addressed themselves in the language of + rebuke to their own soldiers, saying, "WHY DO YOU FIGHT OUR FRIENDS, THE + FRENCH?" + </p> + <p> + Their intention, no doubt, was to make us think that this defence was + wholly unauthorized by them, hoping, if they could make us believe that + they were friendly, they should have a better opportunity, in the + confusion of the moment, to escape. Their artifice was too shallow, and + did not succeed. I caused them to be placed under guard, and all the + soldiers of the Inquisition to be secured as prisoners. We then proceeded + to examine all the rooms of the stately edifice. We passed through room + after room; found all perfectly in order, richly furnished, with altars + and crucifixes, and wax candles in abundance, but we could discover no + evidences of iniquity being practiced there, nothing of those peculiar + features which we expected to find in an Inquisition. We found splendid + paintings, and a rich and extensive library. Here was beauty and splendor, + and the most perfect order on which my eyes had ever rested. The + architecture, the proportions were perfect. The ceilings and floors of + wood were scoured and highly polished. The marble floors were arranged + with a strict regard to order. There was everything to please the eye and + gratify a cultivated taste; but where were those horrid instruments of + torture, of which we had been told, and where those dungeons in which + human beings were said to be buried alive? We searched in vain. The holy + father assured us that they had been belied; that we had seen all; and I + was prepared to give up the search, convinced that this Inquisition was + different from others of which I had heard. + </p> + <p> + But Col. De Idle was not so ready as myself to give up the search, and + said to me, "Colonel, you are commander to-day, and as you say, so it must + be; but if you will be advised by me, let this marble floor be examined. + Let water be brought and poured upon it, and we will watch and see if + there is any place through which it passes more freely than others." I + replied to him, "Do as you please, Colonel," and ordered water to be + brought accordingly. The slabs of marble were large and beautifully + polished. When the water had been poured over the floor, much to the + dissatisfaction of the inquisitors, a careful examination was made of + every seam in the floor, to see if the water passed through. Presently + Col. De Lile exclaimed that he had found it. By the side of one of these + marble slabs the water passed through fast, as though there was an opening + beneath. All hands were now at work for further discovery; the officers + with their swords and the soldiers with their bayonets, seeking to clear + out the seam, and pry up the slab; others with the butts of their muskets + striking the slab with all their might to break it, while the priests + remonstrated against our desecrating their holy and beautiful house. While + thus engaged, a soldier, who was striking with the butt of his musket, + struck a spring, and the marble slab flew up. Then the faces of the + inquisitors grew pale as Belshazzar when the hand writing appeared on the + wall; they trembled all over; beneath the marble slab, now partly up, + there was a stair-case. I stepped to the altar, and took from the + candlestick one of the candles four feet in length, which was burning that + I might explore the room below. As I was doing this, I was arrested by one + of the inquisitors, who laid his hand gently on my arm, and with a very + demure and holy look said "My son, you must not take those lights with + your bloody hands they are holy." "Well," said I, "I will take a holy + thing to shed light on iniquity; I will bear the responsibility." I took + the candle, and proceeded down the stair-case. As we reached the foot of + the stairs we entered a large room which was called the hall of judgment. + In the centre of it was a large block, and a chain fastened to it. On this + they were accustomed to place the accused, chained to his seat. On one + side of the room was an elevated seat called the Throne of Judgment. This, + the Inquisitor General occupied, and on either side were seats less + elevated, for the holy fathers when engaged in the solemn business of the + Holy Inquisition. + </p> + <p> + From this room we proceeded to the right, and obtained access to small + cells extending the entire length of the edifice; and here such sights + were presented as we hoped never to see again. Three cells were places of + solitary confinement, where the wretched objects of inquisitorial hate + were confined year after year, till death released them from their + sufferings, and their bodies were suffered to remain until they were + entirely decayed, and the rooms had become fit for others to occupy. To + prevent this being offensive to those who occupied the Inquisition, there + were flues or tubes extending to the open air, sufficiently capacious to + carry off the odor. In these cells we found the remains of some who had + paid the debt of nature: some of them had been dead apparently but a short + time, while of others nothing remained but their bones, still chained to + the floor of their dungeon. + </p> + <p> + In others we found living sufferers of both sexes and of every age, from + three score years and ten down to fourteen or fifteen years—all + naked as they were born into the world! And all in chains! Here were old + men and aged women, who had been shut up for many years. Here, too, were + the middle aged, and the young man and the maiden of fourteen years old. + The soldiers immediately went to work to release the captives from their + chains, and took from their knapsacks their overcoats and other clothing, + which they gave to cover their nakedness. They were exceedingly anxious to + bring them out to the light of day; but Col. L., aware of the danger, had + food given them, and then brought them gradually to the light, as they + were able to bear it. + </p> + <p> + We then proceeded, said Col. L., to explore another room on the left. Here + we found the instruments of torture, of every kind which the ingenuity of + men or devils could invent. Col. L., here described four of these horrid + instruments. The first was a machine by which the victim was confined, and + then, beginning with the fingers, every joint in the hands, arms and body, + were broken or drawn one after another, until the victim died. The second + was a box, in which the head and neck of the victim were so closely + confined by a screw that he could not move in any way. Over the box was a + vessel, from which one drop of water a second, fell upon the head of the + victim;—every successive drop falling upon precisely the same place + on the head, suspended the circulation in a few moments, and put the + sufferer in the most excruciating agony. The third was an infernal + machine, laid horizontally, to which the victim was bound; the machine + then being placed between two beams, in which were scores of knives so + fixed that, by turning the machine with a crank, the flesh of the sufferer + was torn from his limbs, all in small pieces. The fourth surpassed the + others in fiendish ingenuity. Its exterior was a beautiful woman, or large + doll, richly dressed, with arms extended, ready, to embrace its victim. + Around her feet a semi-circle was drawn. The victim who passed over this + fatal mark, touched a spring which caused the diabolical engine to open; + its arms clasped him, and a thousand knives cut him into as many pieces in + the deadly embrace. Col. L., said that the sight of these engines of + infernal cruelty kindled the rage of the soldiers to fury. They declared + that every inquisitor and soldier of the inquisition should be put to the + torture. Their rage was ungovernable. Col. L., did not oppose them. They + might have turned their arms against him if he had attempted to arrest + their work. They began with the holy fathers. The first they put to death + in the machine for breaking joints. The torture of the inquisitor put to + death by the dropping of water on his head was most excruciating. The poor + man cried out in agony to be taken from the fatal machine. The inquisitor + general was brought before the infernal engine called "The Virgin." He + begged to be excused. "No" said they, "you have caused others to kiss her, + and now you must do it." They interlocked their bayonets so as to form + large forks, and with these pushed him over the deadly circle. The + beautiful image instantly prepared for the embrace, clasped him in its + arms, and he was cut into innumerable pieces. Col. L. said, he witnessed + the torture of four of them—his heart sickened at the awful scene—and + he left the soldiers to wreak their vengeance on the last guilty inmate of + that prison-house of hell. + </p> + <p> + In the mean time it was reported through Madrid that the prisons of the + Inquisition were broken open, and multitudes hastened to the fatal spot. + And, Oh, what a meeting was there! It was like a resurrection! About a + hundred who had been buried for many years were now restored to life. + There were fathers who had found their long lost daughters; wives were + restored to their husbands, sisters to their brothers, parents to their + children; and there were some who could recognize no friend among the + multitude. The scene was such as no tongue can describe. + </p> + <p> + When the multitude had retired, Col. L. caused the library, paintings, + furniture, etc., to be removed, and having sent to the city for a wagon + load of powder, he deposited a large quantity in the vaults beneath the + building, and placed a slow match in connection with it. All had withdrawn + to a distance, and in a few moments there was a most joyful sight to + thousands. The walls and turrets of the massive structure rose + majestically towards the heavens, impelled by the tremendous explosion, + and fell back to the earth an immense heap of ruins. The Inquisition was + no more! + </p> + <p> + Such is the account given by Col. Lehmanowsky of the destruction of the + inquisition in Spain. Was it then finally destroyed, never again to be + revived? Listen to the testimony of the Rev. Giacinto Achilli, D. D. + Surely, his statements in this respect can be relied upon, for he is + himself a convert from Romanism, and was formerly the "Head Professor of + Theology, and Vicar of the Master of the Sacred Apostolic Palace." + </p> + <p> + He certainly had every opportunity to obtain correct information on the + subject, and in a book published by him in 1851, entitled "Dealings with + the Inquisition," we find, (page 71) the following startling announcement. + "We are now in the middle of the nineteenth century, and still the + Inquisition is actually and potentially in existence. This disgrace to + humanity, whose entire history is a mass of atrocious crimes, committed by + the priests of the Church of Rome, in the name of God and of His Christ, + whose vicar and representative, the pope, the head of the Inquisition, + declares himself to be,—this abominable institution is still in + existence in Rome and in the Roman States." + </p> + <p> + Again, (page 89) he says, "And this most infamous Inquisition, a hundred + times destroyed and as often renewed, still exists in Rome as in the + barbarous ages; the only difference being that the same iniquities are at + present practiced there with a little more secrecy and caution than + formerly, and this for the sake of prudence, that the Holy See may not be + subjected to the animadversions of the world at large." + </p> + <p> + On page 82 of the same work we find the following language. "I do not + propose to myself to speak of the Inquisition of times past, but of what + exists in Rome at the present moment; I shall therefore assert that the + laws of this institution being in no respect changed, neither can the + institution itself be said to have undergone any alteration. The present + race of priests who are now in power are too much afraid of the popular + indignation to let loose all their inquisitorial fury, which might even + occasion a revolt if they were not to restrain it; the whole world, + moreover, would cry out against them, a crusade would be raised against + the Inquisition, and, for a little temporary gratification, much power + would be endangered. This is the true reason why the severity of its + penalties is in some degree relaxed at the present time, but they still + remain unaltered in its code." + </p> + <p> + Again on page 102, he says, "Are the torments which are employed at the + present day at the Inquisition all a fiction? It requires the impudence of + an inquisitor, or of the Archbishop of Westminister to deny their + existence. I have myself heard these evil-minded persons lament and + complain that their victims were treated with too much lenity. + </p> + <p> + "What is it you desire?" I inquired of the inquisitor of Spoleto. "That + which St. Thomas Aquinas says," answered he; "DEATH TO ALL THE HERETICS." + </p> + <p> + "Hand over, then, to one of these people, a person, however respectable; + give him up to one of the inquisitors, (he who quoted St. Thomas Aquinas + to me was made an Archbishop)—give up, I say, the present Archbishop + of Canterbury, an amiable and pious man, to one of these rabid + inquisitors; he must either deny his faith or be burned alive. Is my + statement false? Am I doting? Is not this the spirit that invariably + actuates the inquisitors? and not the inquisitors only, but all those who + in any way defile themselves with the inquisition, such as bishops and + their vicars, and all those who defend it, as the papists do. There is the + renowned Dr. Wiseman, the Archbishop of Westminster according to the + pope's creation, the same who has had the assurance to censure me from his + pulpit, and to publish an infamous article in the Dublin Review, in which + he has raked together, as on a dunghill, every species of filth from the + sons of Ignatius Loyola; and there is no lie or calumny that he has not + made use of against me. Well, then, suppose I were to be handed over to + the tender mercy of Dr. Wiseman, and he had the full power to dispose of + me as he chose, without fear of losing his character in the eyes of the + nation to which, by parentage more than by merit, he belongs, what do you + imagine he would do with me? Should I not have to undergo some death more + terrible than ordinary? Would not a council be held with the reverend + fathers of the company of Loyola, the same who have suggested the + abominable calumnies above alluded to, in order to invent some refined + method of putting me out of the world? I feel persuaded that if I were + condemned by the Inquisition to be burned alive, my calumniator would have + great pleasure in building my funeral pile, and setting fire to it with + his own hands; or should strangulation be preferred, that he would, with + equal readiness, arrange the cord around my neck; and all for the honor + and glory of the Inquisition, of which, according to his oath, he is a + true and faithful servant." + </p> + <p> + This, then, according to Dr. Achilli is the spirit of Romanism! Can we + doubt that it would lead to results as frightful as anything described in + the foregoing story? + </p> + <p> + But let us listen to his further remarks on the present state of the + Inquisition. On page 75 he says, "What, then, is the Inquisition of the + nineteenth century? The same system of intolerance which prevailed in the + barbarous ages. That which raised the Crusade and roused all Europe to + arms at the voice of a monk [Footnote: Bernard of Chiaravalle.] and of a + hermit, [Footnote: Peter the Hermit.] That which—in the name of a + God of peace, manifested on earth by Christ, who, through love for + sinners, gave himself to be crucified—brought slaughter on the + Albigenses and the Waldenses; filled France with desolation, under + Domenico di Guzman; raised in Spain the funeral pile and the scaffold, + devastating the fair kingdoms of Granada and Castile, through the + assistance of those detestable monks, Raimond de Pennefort, Peter Arbues, + and Cardinal Forquemorda. That, which, to its eternal infamy, registers in + the annals of France the fatal 24th of August, and the 5th of November in + those of England." + </p> + <p> + That same system which at this moment flourishes at Rome, which has never + yet been either worn out or modified, and which at this present time, in + the jargon of the priests, is called a "the holy, Roman, universal, + apostolic Inquisition. Holy, as the place where Christ was crucified is + holy; apostolic, because Judas Iscariot was the first inquisitor; Roman + and universal, because FROM ROME IT EXTENDS OVER ALL THE WORLD. It is + denied by some that the Inquisition which exists in Rome as its centre, is + extended throughout the world by means of the missionaries. The Roman + Inquisition and the Roman Propaganda are in close connection with each + other. Every bishop who is sent in partibus infidelium, is an inquisitor + charged to discover, through the means of his missionaries, whatever is + said or done by others in reference to Rome, with the obligation to make + his report secretly. The Apostolic nuncios are all inquisitors, as are + also the Apostolic vicars. Here, then, we see the Roman Inquisition + extending to the most remote countries." Again this same writer informs + us, (page 112,) that "the principal object of the Inquisition is to + possess themselves, by every means in their power, of the secrets of every + class of society. Consequently its agents (Jesuits and Missionaries,) + enter the domestic circle, observe every motion, listen to every + conversation, and would, if possible, become acquainted with the most + hidden thoughts. It is in fact, the police, not only of Rome, but of all + Italy; INDEED, IT MAY BE SAID OF THE WHOLE WORLD." + </p> + <p> + The above statements of Dr. Achilli are fully corroborated by the Rev. Wm. + H. Rule, of London. In a book published by him in 1852, entitled "The + Brand of Dominic," we find the following remarks in relation to the + Inquisition of the present time. The Roman Inquisition is, therefore, + acknowledged to have an infinite multitude of affairs constantly on hand, + which necessitates its assemblage thrice every week. Still there are + criminals, and criminal processes. The body of officials are still + maintained on established revenues of the holy office. So far from any + mitigation of severity or judicial improvement in the spirit of its + administration, the criminal has now no choice of an advocate; but one + person, and he a servant of the Inquisition, performs an idle ceremony, + under the name of advocacy, for the conviction of all. And let the reader + mark, that as there are bishops in partibus, so, in like manner, there are + inquisitors of the same class appointed in every country, and chiefly, in + Great Britain and the colonies, who are sworn to secrecy, and of course + communicate intelligence to this sacred congregation of all that can be + conceived capable of comprehension within the infinitude of its affairs. + We must, therefore, either believe that the court of Rome is not in + earnest, and that this apparatus of universal jurisdiction is but a + shadow,—an assumption which is contrary to all experience,—or + we must understand that the spies and familiars of the Inquisition are + listening at our doors, and intruding themselves on our hearths. How they + proceed, and what their brethren at Rome are doing, events may tell; BUT + WE MAY BE SURE THEY ARE NOT IDLE. + </p> + <p> + They were not idle in Rome in 1825, when they rebuilt the prisons of the + Inquisition. They were not idle in 1842, when they imprisoned Dr. Achilli + for heresy, as he assures us; nor was the captain, or some other of the + subalterns, who, acting in their name, took his watch from him as he came + out. They were not idle in 1843, when they renewed the old edicts against + the Jews. And all the world knows that the inquisitors on their stations + throughout the pontifical states, and the inquisitorial agents in Italy, + Germany, and Eastern Europe, were never more active than during the last + four years, and even at this moment, when every political misdemeanor that + is deemed offensive to the Pope, is, constructively, a sin against the + Inquisition, and visited with punishment accordingly. A deliberative body, + holding formal session thrice every week, cannot be idle, and although it + may please them to deny that Dr. Achilli saw and examined a black book, + containing the praxis now in use, the criminal code of inquisitors in + force at this day,—as Archibald Bower had an abstract of such a book + given him for his use about one hundred and thirty years ago,—they + cannot convince me that I have not seen and handled, and used in the + preparation of this volume, the compendium of an unpublished Roman code of + inquisitorial regulations, given to the vicars of the inquisitor-general + of Modena. They may be pleased to say that the mordacchia, or gag, of + which Dr. Achilli speaks, as mentioned in that BLACK BOOK, is no longer + used; but that it is mentioned there, and might be used again is more than + credible to myself, after having seen that the "sacred congregation" has + fixed a rate of fees for the ordering, witnessing, and administration of + TORTURE. There was indeed, a talk of abolishing torture at Rome; but we + have reason to believe that the congregation will not drop the mordacchia, + inasmuch, as, instead of notifying any such reformation to the courts of + Europe, this congregation has kept silence. For although a continuation of + the bullary has just been published at Rome, containing several decrees of + this congregation, there is not one that announces a fulfilment of this + illusory promise,—a promise imagined by a correspondent to French + newspapers, but never given by the inquisitors themselves. And as there is + no proof that they have yet abstained from torture, there is a large + amount of circumstantial evidence that they have delighted themselves in + death. And why not? When public burnings became inexpedient—as at + Goa—did they not make provision for private executions? + </p> + <p> + For a third time at least the Roman prisons—I am not speaking of + those of the provinces—were broken open, in 1849, after the + desertion of Pius IX., and two prisoners were found there, an aged bishop + and a nun. Many persons in Rome reported the event; but instead of copying + what is already before the public, I translate a letter addressed to me by + P. Alessandro Gavazzi, late chaplain-general of the Roman army, in reply + to a few questions which I had put to him. All who have heard his + statements may judge whether his account of facts be not marked with every + note of accuracy. They will believe that his power of oratory DOES NOT + betray him into random declamation. Under date of March 20th, 1852, he + writes thus: + </p> + <p> + "MY DEAR SIR,—In answering your questions concerning the palace of + Inquisition at Rome, I should say that I can give only a few superficial + and imperfect notes. So short was the time that it remained open to the + public, So great the crowd of persons that pressed to catch a sight of it, + and so intense the horror inspired by that accursed place, that I could + not obtain a more exact and particular impression. + </p> + <p> + "I found no instruments of torture, [Footnote: "The gag, the thumb-screw, + and many other instruments of severe torture could be easily destroyed and + others as easily procured. The non-appearance of instruments is not enough + to sustain the current belief that the use of them is discontinued. So + long as there is a secret prison, and while all the existing standards of + inquisitorial practice make torture an ordinary expedient for extorting + information, not even a bull, prohibiting torture, would be sufficient to + convince the world that it has been discontinued. The practice of + falsehood is enjoined on inquisitors. How, then, could we believe a bull, + or decree, if it were put forth to-morrow, to release them from suspicion, + or to screen them from obloquy? It would not be entitled to belief."—Rev. + Wm. H. Rule.] for they were destroyed at the time of the first French + invasion, and because such instruments were not used afterwards by the + modern Inquisition. I did, however, find, in one of the prisons of the + second court, a furnace, and the remains of a woman's dress. I shall never + be able to believe that that furnace was placed there for the use of the + living, it not being in such a place, or of such a kind, as to be of + service to them. Everything, on the contrary, combines to persuade me that + it was made use of for horrible deaths, and to consume the remains of the + victims of inquisitorial executions. Another object of horror I found + between the great hall of judgment and the luxurious apartment of the + chief jailer (primo custode), the Dominican friar who presides over this + diabolical establishment. This was a deep trap or shaft opening into the + vaults under the Inquisition. As soon as the so-called criminal had + confessed his offence; the second keeper, who is always a Dominican friar, + sent him to the father commissary to receive a relaxation [Footnote: "In + Spain, RELAXATION is delivery to death. In the established style of the + Inquisition it has the same meaning. But in the common language of Rome it + means RELEASE. In the lips of the inquisitor, therefore, if he used the + word, it has one meaning, and another to the ear of the prisoner."—Rev. + Wm. H. Rule.] of his punishment. With the hope of pardon, the confessed + culprit would go towards the apartment of the holy inquisitor; but in the + act of setting foot at its entrance, the trap opened, and the world of the + living heard no more of him. I examined some of the earth found in the pit + below this trap; it was a compost of common earth, rottenness, ashes, and + human hair, fetid to the smell, and horrible to the sight and to the + thought of the beholder. + </p> + <p> + "But where popular fury reached its highest pitch was in the vaults of St. + Pius V. I am anxious that you should note well that this pope was + canonized by the Roman church especially for his zeal against heretics. I + will now describe to you the manner how, and the place where, those vicars + of Jesus Christ handled the living members of Jesus Christ, and show you + how they proceeded for their healing. You descend into the vaults by very + narrow stairs. A narrow corridor leads you to the several cells, which, + for smallness and stench, are a hundred times more horrible than the dens + of lions and tigers in the Colosseum. Wandering in this labyrinth of most + fearful prisons, that may be called 'graves for the living,' I came to a + cell full of skeletons without skulls, buried in lime, and the skulls, + detached from the bodies, had been collected in a hamper by the first + visitors. Whose were those skeletons? and why were they buried in that + place and in that manner? I have heard some popish priests trying to + defend the Inquisition from the charge of having condemned its victims to + a secret death, say that the palace of the Inquisition was built on a + burial-ground, belonging anciently to a hospital for pilgrims, and that + the skeletons found were none other than those of pilgrims who had died in + that hospital. But everything contradicts this papistical defence. Suppose + that there had been a cemetery there, it could not have had subterranean + galleries and cells, laid out with so great regularity; and even if there + had been such—against all probability—the remains of bodies + would have been removed on laying the foundation of the palace, to leave + the space free for the subterranean part of the Inquisition. Besides, it + is contrary to the use of common tombs to bury the dead by carrying them + through a door at the side; for the mouth of the sepulchre is always at + the top. And again, it has never been the custom in Italy to bury the dead + singly in quick lime; but, in time of plague, the dead bodies have been + usually laid in a grave until it was sufficiently full, and then quick + lime has been laid over them, to prevent pestilential exhalations, by + hastening the decomposition of the infected corpses. This custom was + continued, some years ago, in the cemeteries of Naples, and especially in + the daily burial of the poor. Therefore, the skeletons found in the + Inquisition of Rome could not belong to persons who had died a natural + death in a hospital; nor could any one, under such a supposition, explain + the mystery of all the bodies being buried in lime except the head. It + remains, then, beyond a doubt, that that subterranean vault contained the + victims of one of the many secret martyrdoms of the butcherly tribunal. + The following is the most probable opinion, if it be not rather the + history of a fact: + </p> + <p> + "The condemned were immersed in a bath of slaked lime, gradually filled up + to their necks. The lime by little and little enclosed the sufferers, or + walled them up alive. The torment was extreme but slow. As the lime rose + higher and higher, the respiration became more and more painful, because + more difficult. So that what with the suffocation of the smoke, and the + anguish of the compressed breathing, they died in a manner most horrible + and desperate. Some time after their death the heads would naturally + separate from the bodies, and roll away into the hollows made by the + shrinking of the lime. Any other explanation of the feet that may be + attempted will be found improbable and unnatural. You may make what use + you please of these notes of mine, since I can warrant their truth. I wish + that writers, speaking of this infamous tribunal of the Inquisition, would + derive their information from pure history, unmingled with romance; for so + great and so many the historical atrocities of the Inquisition, that they + would more than suffice to arouse the detestation of a thousand worlds. I + know that the popish impostor-priests go about saying that the Inquisition + was never an ecclesiastical tribunal, but a laic. But you will have shown + the contrary in your work, and may also add, in order quite to unmask + these lying preachers, that the palace of the Inquisition at Rome is under + the shadow of the palace of the Vatican; that the keepers are to this day, + Dominican friars; and that the prefect of the Inquisition at Rome is the + Pope in person. + </p> + <p> + "I have the honor to be your affectionate Servant, + </p> + <p> + "ALESSANDRA GAVAZZI." + </p> + <p> + "The Roman parliament decreed the erection of a pillar opposite the palace + of the Inquisition, to perpetuate the memory of the destruction of that + nest of abominations; but before that or any other monument could be + raised, the French army besieged and took the city, restored the Pope, and + with him the tribunal of the faith. Not only was Dr. Achilli thrown into + one of its old prisons, on the 29th of July 1849, but the violence of the + people having made the building less adequate to the purpose of safe + keeping, he was transferred to the castle of St. Angelo, which had often + been employed for the custody of similar delinquents, and there he lay in + close confinement until the 9th of January, 1850, when the French + authorities, yielding to influential representations from this country + assisted him to escape in disguise as a soldier, thus removing an occasion + of scandal, but carefully leaving the authority of the congregation of + cardinals undisputed. Indeed they first obtained the verbal sanction of + the commissary, who saw it expedient to let his victim go, and hush an + outcry. + </p> + <p> + "Yet some have the hardihood to affirm that there is no longer any + Inquisition; and as the Inquisitors were instructed to suppress the truth, + to deny their knowledge of cases actually passing through their hands, and + to fabricate falsehoods for the sake of preserving the SECRET, because the + secret was absolutely necessary to the preservation of their office, so do + the Inquisitors in partibus falsify and illude without the least scruple + of conscience, in order to put the people of this country off their guard. + </p> + <p> + "That the Inquisition really exists, is placed beyond a doubt by its daily + action as a visible institution at Rome. But if any one should fancy that + it was abolished after the release of Dr. Achilli, let him hear a sentence + contradictory, from a bull of the Pope himself, Pius IX, a document that + was dated at Rome, August 22, 1851, where the pontiff, condemning the + works of Professor Nuytz, of Turin, says, "after having taken the advice + of the doctors in theology and canon law, AFTER HAVING COLLECTED THE + SUFFRAGES OF OUR VENERABLE BROTHERS THE CARDINALS OF THE CONGREGATION OF + THE SUPREME AND UNIVERSAL INQUISITION." And so recently as March, 1852, by + letters of the Secretariate of State, he appointed four cardinals to be + "members of the Sacred Congregation of the Holy Roman and Universal + Inquisition;" giving incontrovertible evidence that provision is made for + attending to communications of Inquisitors in partibus from all parts of + the world. As the old cardinals die off, their vacant seats are filled by + others. The 'immortal legion' is punctually recruited. + </p> + <p> + "After all, have we in Great Britain, Ireland and the colonies, and our + brethren of the foreign mission stations, any reason to apprehend harm to, + ourselves from the Inquisition as it is? In reply to this question, let it + be observed; + </p> + <p> + "1. That there are Inquisitors in partibus is not to be denied. That + letters of these Inquisitors are laid before the Roman Inquisition is + equally certain. Even in the time of Leo XII, when the church of Rome was + far less active in the British empire than it is now, some particular case + was always decided on Thursday, when the Pope, in his character of + universal Inquisitor, presided in the congregation. It cannot be thought + that now, in the height of its exultation, daring and aggression, this + congregation has fewer emissaries, or that they are less active, or less + communicative than they were at that time. We also see that the number is + constantly replenished. The cardinals Della Genga-Sermattei; De Azevedo; + Fornari; and Lucciardi have just been added to it. + </p> + <p> + "2. Besides a cardinal in England, and a delegate in Ireland, there is + both in England and Ireland, a body of bishops, 'natural Inquisitors,' as + they are always acknowledged, and have often claimed to be; and these + natural Inquisitors are all sworn to keep the secret—the soul of the + Inquisition. Since, then, there are Inquisitors in partibus, appointed to + supply the lack of an avowed and stationary Inquisition, and since the + bishops are the very persons whom the court of Rome can best command, as + pledged for such a service, it is reasonable to suppose they act in that + capacity. + </p> + <p> + "3. Some of the proceedings of these bishops confirm the assurance that + there is now an Inquisition in activity in England. * * * The vigilance + exercised over families, also the intermeddling of priests with education, + both in families and schools, and with the innumerable relations of civil + society, can only be traced back to the Inquisitors in partibus, whose + peculiar duty, whether by help of confessors or familiars, is to worm out + every secret of affairs, private or public, and to organize and conduct + measures of repression or of punishment. Where the secular arm cannot be + borrowed, and where offenders lie beyond the reach of excommunication, + irregular methods must be resorted to, not rejecting any as too crafty or + too violent. Discontented mobs, or individual zealots are to be found or + bought. What part the Inquisitors in partibus play in Irish + assassinations, or in the general mass of murderous assaults that is + perpetrated in the lower haunts of crime, it is impossible to say. Under + cover of confessional and Inquisitorial secrets, spreads a broad field of + action—a region of mystery—only visible to the eye of God, and + to those 'most reverend and most eminent' guardians of the papacy, who sit + thrice every week, in the Minerva and Vatican, and there manage the hidden + springs of Inquisition on the heretics, schismatics, and rebels, no less + than on 'the faithful' of realms. Who can calculate the extent of their + power over those 'religious houses,' where so many of the inmates are but + neophytes, unfitted by British education for the intellectual and moral + abnegation, the surrender of mind and conscience, which monastic + discipline exacts? Yet they must be coerced into submission, and kept + under penal discipline. Who can tell how many of their own clergy are + withdrawn to Rome, and there delated, imprisoned, and left to perish, if + not 'relaxed' to death, in punishment of heretical opinions or liberal + practices? We have heard of laymen, too, taken to Rome by force, or + decoyed thither under false pretences there to be punished by the + universal Inquisition; and whatever of incredibility may appear in some + tales of Inquisitorial abduction, the general fact that such abductions + have taken place, seems to be incontrovertible. And now that the + Inquisitors in partibus are distributed over Christendom, and that they + provide the Roman Inquisition with daily work from year's end to year's + end, is among the things most certain,—even the most careless of + Englishmen must acknowledge that we have all reason to apprehend much evil + from the Inquisition as it is. And no Christian can be aware of this fact, + without feeling himself more than ever bound to uphold the cause of + christianity, both at home and abroad, as the only counteractive of so + dire a curse, and the only remedy of so vast an evil." Rev. Wm. Rule, + London. + </p> + <p> + The Rev. E. A. Lawrence, writing of "Romanism at Rome," gives us the + following vivid description of the present state of the Roman Church. + </p> + <p> + "Next is seen at Rome the PROPAGANDA, the great missionary heart of the + whole masterly system. Noiselessly, by the multiform orders of monks and + nuns, as through so many veins and arteries, it sends out and receives + back its vital fluid. In its halls, the whole world is distinctly mapped + out, and the chief points of influence minutely marked. A kind of + telegraphic communication is established with the remotest stations in + South Africa and Siberia, and with almost every nook in our own land, to + which the myrmidons of Papal power look with the most of fear. It is + through means of this moral galvanic battery, set up in the Vatican, that + the Church of Rome has gained its power of UBIQUITY—has so well nigh + made itself OMNIPOTENT, as well as omnipresent. + </p> + <p> + "It is no mean or puny antagonist that strides across the path of a free, + spiritual and advancing Protestantism. And yet, with a simple shepherd's + sling, and the smooth stones gathered from Siloa's brook, God will give it + the victory. + </p> + <p> + "Once more let us look, and we shall find at Rome, still working in its + dark, malignant efficiency, the INQUISITION. Men are still made to pass + through fires of this Moloch. This is the grand defensive expedient of the + Papacy, and is the chief tribunal of the States. Its processes are all as + secret as the grave. Its cells are full of dead men's bones. They call it + the Asylum for the poor—a retreat for doubting and distressed + pilgrims, where they may have experience of the parental kindness of their + father the Pope, and their mother the church. + </p> + <p> + "Dr. Achilli had a trial of this beneficient discipline, when thrown into + the deep dungeon of St. Angelo. And how many other poor victims of this + diabolical institution are at this moment pining in agony, heaven knows. + </p> + <p> + "In America, we talk about Rome as having ceased to persecute. IT IS A + MISTAKE. She holds to the principle as tenaciously as ever. She cannot + dispense with it. Of the evil spirit of Protestantism she says, "This kind + goeth not out, but by fire." Her reign, is a reign of terror. Hence she + must hold both the principle and the power of persecution, of compelling + men to believe, or, if they doubt, of putting them to death for their own + good. Take from her this power and she bites the dust." + </p> + <p> + ROMANISM IN AMERICA. + </p> + <p> + It may perchance be said that the remarks of the Rev. William Rule, quoted + above, refer exclusively to the existing state of things is England, + Ireland, and the colonies. But who will dare to say, after a careful + investigation of the subject, that they do not apply with equal force to + these United States? + </p> + <p> + Has America nothing to fear from the inquisitors—from the Jesuits? + Is it true that the "Inquisition still exists in Rome—that its code + is unchanged—that its emissaries are sent over all the world—that + every nuncio and bishop is an Inquisitor," and is it improbable that, even + now, torture rooms like those described in the foregoing story, may be + found in Roman Catholic establishments in this country? Yes, even here, in + Protestant, enlightened America! Have WE then nothing to fear from + Romanism? But a few days since a gentleman of learning and intelligence + when speaking of this subject, exclaimed, "What have we to do with the + Jesuits? and what is the Inquisition to us? The idea that we have aught to + fear from Romanism, is simply ridiculous!" In reply to this, allow me to + quote the language of the Rev. Manuel J. Gonsalves, leader of the Madeira + Exiles. + </p> + <p> + "The time will come when the American people will arise as one man, and + not only abolish the confessional, but will follow the example of many of + the European nations, who had no peace, or rest, till they banished the + Jesuits. These are the men, who bask in the sunbeams of popery, to whom + the pope has entrusted the vast interests of the king of Rome, in this + great Republic. Nine tenths of the Romish priests, now working hard for + their Master the pope, in this country, are full blooded Jesuits. The man + of sin who is the head of the mystery of iniquity—through the advice + of the popish bishops now in this country, has selected the Jesuitical + order of priests, to carry on his great and gigantic operations in the + United States of America. Those Jesuits who distinguish themselves the + most in the destruction of Protestant Bible religion, and who gain the + largest number of protestant scholars for popish schools and seminaries; + who win most American converts to their sect are offered great rewards in + the shape of high offices in the church. John Hughes, the Jesuit Bishop of + the New York Romanists, was rewarded by Pope Pius 9th, with an + Archbishop's mitre, for his great, zeal and success, in removing God's + Holy Bible from thirty-eight public schools in New York, and for procuring + a papal school committee, to examine every book in the hands of American + children in the public schools, that every passage of truth, in those + books of history unpalatable to the pope might be blotted out." Has + America then nothing to do with Romanism? + </p> + <p> + But another gentleman exclaims, "What if Romanism be on the increase in + the United States! Is not their religion as dear to them, as ours is to + us?" To this the Rev. M. J. Gonsalves would reply as follows. "The + American people have been deceived, in believing THAT POPERY WAS A + RELIGION, not a very good one to be sure, but some kind of one. This has + been their great mistake. We might as well call the Archbishop of the + fallen angels, and his crew, a religious body of intelligent beings, + because they believe in an Almighty God, and tremble, as to call the man + of sin and his Jesuits, a body of religious saints. The tree is known by + its fruit, such as 'love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, + goodness, meekness, faith, temperance, brotherly kindness;' and where the + spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty, Christian liberty, giving to God + and man their due unasked. Now we ask, what kind of fruit does the tree of + Popery bear, in any country, that it should claim homage, and respect, as + a good religion?" + </p> + <p> + Such is the language of one who knew so well what popery was, that he fled + from it as from a hell upon earth. + </p> + <p> + In his further remarks upon the horrors of convent life in the United + States, he fully confirms the statements in the foregoing narrative. He + says, "It is time that American gentlemen, who are so much occupied in + business, should think of the dangers of the confessional, and the + miseries endured by innocent, duped, American, imprisoned females in this + free country; and remember that these American ladies who have been duped + and enticed by Jesuitical intrigue and craft, into their female convents, + have no means of deliverance; they cannot write a letter to a friend + without the consent and inspection of the Mother Abbess, who is always and + invariably a female tyrant, a creature in the pay of the Bishop, and + dependent upon the Bishop for her despotic office of power. The poor, + unfortunate, imprisoned American female has no means of redress in her + power. She cannot communicate her story of wrong and suffering to any + living being beyond the walls of her prison. She may have a father, a + mother, a dear brother, or a sister, who, if they knew one-sixteenth part + of her wrongs and sufferings, would fly at once to see her and sympathize + with her in her anguish. But the Jesuit confessor attached to the prison + is ever on the alert. Those ladies who appear the most unhappy, and + unreconciled to their prison, are compelled to attend the confessional + every day; and thus the artful Jesuit, by a thousand cross questions, is + made to understand perfectly the state of their minds. The Lady Porter, or + door-keeper and jailor, is always a creature of the priest's, and a great + favorite with the Mother Abbess. Should any friends call to see an unhappy + nun who is utterly unreconciled to her fate, the Lady Porter is instructed + to inform those relatives that the dear nun they want to see so much, is + so perfectly happy, and given up to heavenly meditations, that she cannot + be persuaded to see an earthly relative. At the same time the Mother + Abbess dismisses the relatives with a very sorrowful countenance, and + regrets very much, in appearance, their disappointment. But the unhappy + nun is never informed that her friends or relatives have called to inquire + after her welfare. How amazing, that government should allow such prisons + in the name of religion!" + </p> + <p> + CONVENT OF THE CAPUCHINS IN SANTIAGO + </p> + <p> + In a late number of "The American and Foreign Christian Union," we find + the following account of conventual life from a report of a Missionary in + Chile, South America. + </p> + <p> + "Now, my brother, let me give you an account related to me by a most + worthy English family, most of the members of which have grown up in the + country, confirmed also by common report, of the Convent of Capuchins, in + Santiago. + </p> + <p> + "The number of inmates is limited to thirty-two young ladies. The + admittance fee is $2000. When the nun enters she is dressed like a bride, + in the most costly material that wealth can command. There, beside the + altar of consecration, she devotes herself in the most solemn, manner to a + life of celibacy and mortification of the flesh and spirit, with the + deluded hope that her works will merit a brighter mansion in the realms + above. + </p> + <p> + "The forms of consecration being completed, she begins to cast off her + rich veil, costly vestments, all her splendid diamonds and brilliants—which, + in many instances, have cost, perhaps, from ten to fifteen, or even twenty + thousand dollars. Then her beautiful locks are submitted to the tonsure; + and to signify her deadness forever to the world, she is clothed in a + dress of coarse grey cloth, called serge, in which she is to pass the + miserable remnant of her days. The dark sombre walls of her prison she can + sever pass, and its iron-bound doors are shut forever upon their new, + youthful, and sensitive occupant. Rarely, if ever, is she permitted to + speak, and NEVER, NEVER, to see her friends or The loved ones of home—to + enjoy the embraces of a fond mother, or devoted father, or the smiles of + fraternal or sisterly affection. If ever allowed to speak at all, it is + through iron bars where she cannot be seen, and in the presence of the + abbess, to see that no complaint escapes her lips. However much her bosom + may swell with anxiety at the sound of voices which were once music to her + soul, and she may long to pour out her cries and tears to those who once + soothed every sorrow of her heart; yet not a murmur must be uttered. The + soul must suffer its own sorrows solitary and alone, with none to + sympathize, or grant relief, and none to listen to its moans but the cold + gloomy walls of her tomb. No, no, not even the Gospel of Jesus Christ, + that great alleviator of all the sorrows of the heart, is allowed an + entrance there. + </p> + <p> + "Nor is this all. Besides being condemned to a meagre, insufficient and + unwholesome diet which they themselves must cook, the nuns are not allowed + to speak much with each other, except to say, 'Que morir tenemos, 'we are + to die,' or 'we must die,' and to reply, 'Ya los sabemos,' 'we know it,' + or 'already we know it' + </p> + <p> + "They pass most of their time in small lonely cells, where they sleep in a + narrow place dug out in the ground, in the shape of a coffin, without bed + of any kind, except a piece of coarse serge spread down; and their daily + dress is their only covering. SLEEP! Did I say? Alas! 'Tired nature's + sweet restorer, balmy sleep, no more with his downy pinions lights on his + unsullied with a tear:' FOR EVERY HOUR OF THE TWENTY-FOUR they are aroused + by the bell to perform their 'Ave Maria's,' count their rosaries, and such + other blind devotions as may be imposed. Thus they drag out a miserable + existence, and when death calls the spirit to its last account, the other + nuns dig the grave with their own hands, within the walls of the convent, + and so perform the obsequies of their departed sister. + </p> + <p> + "Thus, I have briefly given you not fiction! but a faithful narrative of + facts in regard to conventual life, and an establishment marked by almost + every form of sin, and yet making pretence of 'perfecting the saints,' by + the free and gentle influences of the gospel of Christ. + </p> + <p> + "Query 1st. What is done with all the money? + </p> + <p> + "2d. What is done with the rich vestments and jewels? + </p> + <p> + "3d. Where do the priests get all their brilliants to perform high mass + and adorn their processions? + </p> + <p> + "4th. Where does all the hair of the saints come from, which is sold in + lockets for high prices as sure preventives of evil? + </p> + <p> + "5th. Whose grave has been plundered to obtain RELICS to sell to the + ignorant. + </p> + <p> + "6th. Where does the Romish Church obtain her SURPLUS RIGHTEOUSNESS TO + SELL TO THE needy, and not give it like our blessed Lord, 'without money + and without price?' + </p> + <p> + "7th. Who is responsible for the FANATICISM that induces a young female to + incarcerate herself? + </p> + <p> + "8th. Where is the authority in reason, in revelation, for such a life? + </p> + <p> + "9th. What is the average length of life? + </p> + <p> + "10th. How many die insane? + </p> + <p> + "A young lady lately cast herself from the tower, and was dashed in + pieces, being led to do it, doubtless, in desperation. The convents of + this city, of the same order, require the same entrance fee, $2000. Of + course, none but the comparatively rich can avail themselves of this + perfection of godliness. + </p> + <p> + "Who will say that this mode of life has not been invented in order to cut + short life as rapidly as possible, that the $2000, with all the rich + diamonds upon initiation, may be repeated as frequently as possible? + </p> + <p> + "O! how true it is, that Romanism is the same merciless, cruel, diabolical + organisation, wherever it can fully develop itself, in all lands. How + truly is it denominated by the pen of inspiration the 'MYSTERY OF + INIQUITY,' especially that part of it relating to these secret + institutions, and the whole order of the Jesuits." + </p> + <p> + The editor of the "Christian Union", in his remarks on the above, says, + "Already the fair face of our country is disfigured by the existence here + and there of conventual establishments. At present they do not show the + hideous features which they, at least in some cases, assume in countries + where papal influence and authority are supreme. The genius of our + government and institutions necessarily exerts a restraining power, which + holds them from excesses to which, otherwise, they might run. But they + constitute a part of a system which is strongly at variance with the + interests of humanity, and merely wait the occurrence of favorable + circumstances to visit upon our land all the horrors which they have + inflicted elsewhere. + </p> + <p> + "How many conventual establishments there are now in the nation, few + Protestants, it is believed, know. And how many young females, guilty of + no crime against society, and condemned by no law of the land, are shut up + in their walls and doomed to a life which they did not anticipate when + entering them, a life which is more dreadful to them than death, very few + of the millions of our citizens conceive. The majority of our people have + slept over the whole subject, and the indifference thus manifested has + emboldened the priests to posh forward the extension of the system, and + the workmen are now busy in various places in the construction of + additional establishments. But such facts as are revealed in this article, + from the pen of our missionary, in connection with things that are + occurring around us, show that no time should be lost in examining this + whole subject of convents and monasteries, and in legislating rightly + about them." + </p> + <p> + Again, when speaking of papal convents in the United States, the same + talented writer observes, "The time has fully come when Protestants should + lay aside their apathy and too long-cherished indifference in respect to + the movements of Rome in this land. It is time for them to call to mind + the testimony of their fathers, their bitter experiences from the papal + See, and to take effective measures to protect the inheritance bequeathed + to them, that they may hand it down to their children free from + corruption, as pure and as valuable as when they received it. They should + remember that Rome claims never to change, that what she was in Europe + when in the zenith of her power, she will be here when fairly installed, + and has ability to enforce her commands. + </p> + <p> + "Her numbers now on our soil, her nearly two thousand priests moving about + everywhere, her colleges and printing-presses, her schools and convents, + and enormous amounts of property held by her bishops, have served as an + occasion to draw out something of her spirit, and to show that she is + ARROGANT AND ABUSIVE TO THE EXTENT OF HER POWER. + </p> + <p> + "Scarcely a newspaper issues from her press, but is loaded with abuse of + Protestants and of their religion, and at every available point assaults + are made upon their institutions and laws; and Rome and her institutions + and interests are crowded into notice, and special privileges are loudly + clamored for. + </p> + <p> + "All Protestants, therefore, of every name, and of every religious and + political creed, we repeat it, who do not desire to ignore the past, and + to renounce all care or concern for the future, as to their children and + children's children, should lose no time in informing themselves of the + state of things around them in regard to the papacy and its institutions. + They should without delay devote their efforts and influence to the + protection of the country against those Popish establishments and their + usages which have been set up among us without the authority of law, and + under whose crushing weight some of the nations of Europe have staggered + and reeled for centuries, and have now but little of their former power + and glory remaining, and under which Mexico, just upon our borders, has + sunk manifestly beyond the power of recovery. + </p> + <p> + "Let each individual seek to awaken an interest in this matter in the mind + of his neighbor. And if there be papal establishments in the neighborhood + under the names of 'schools,' 'retreats', 'religions communities,' or any + other designation, which are at variance with, or are not conformed to, + the laws of the commonwealth in which they are situated, let memorials be + prepared and signed by the citizens, and forwarded immediately to the + legislature, praying that they may be subjected to examination, and + required to conform to the laws by which all Protestant institutions of a + public nature are governed. + </p> + <p> + "Let us exclude from our national territory all irresponsible + institutions. Let us seek to maintain a government of law, and insist upon + the equality of all classes before it." + </p> + <p> + In closing these extracts, we beg leave to express ourselves in the words + of the Rev. Dr. Sunderland, of Washington city, in a sermon delivered + before the American and Foreign Christian Union, at its anniversary in + May, 1856. + </p> + <p> + "But new it is asked, 'Why all this tirade against Roman Catholics?' We + repel the implication. It is not against the unhappy millions that are + ground down under the iron heel of that enormous despotism. They are of + the common humanity, our brethren and kinsmen, according to the flesh. + They need the same light instruction and salvation that we need. Like + ourselves they need the one God, the one mediator between God and man, the + man Christ Jesus; and from the heart we love and pity them. We would grant + them all the privileges which we claim to ourselves. We can have no + animosity towards them as men and candidates with ourselves for the coming + judgment. But it is the system under which they are born, and live, and + die, I repeat, which we denounce, and when we shall cease to oppose it, + then let our right hand forget her cunning, and our tongue cleave to the + roof of our mouth. What is it but a dark and terrible power on earth + before which so many horrible memories start up? Why, sir, look at it! We + drag the bones of the grim behemoth out to view, for we would not have the + world forget his ugliness nor the terror he has inspired. 'A tirade + against Romanism,' is it? O sir, we remember the persecutions of + Justinian; we remember the days of the Spanish Inquisition; we remember + the reign of 'the Bloody Mary;' we remember the revocation of the Edict of + Nantes; we remember St. Bartholomew; we remember the murdered Covenanters, + Huguenots, and Piedmontese; we remember the noble martyrs dying for the + testimony of the faith along the ancient Rhine; we remember the later + wrath which pursued the islanders of Madeira, till some of them sought + refuge upon these shores; we remember the Madiai, and we know how the + beast ever seeks to propagate his power, by force where he can, by + deception where he must. And when we remember these things, we must + protest against the further vigor and prosperity of this grand Babylon of + all. Take it, then, tirade and all, for so ye must, ye ministers of Rome, + sodden with the fumes of that great deep of abominations! The voice of the + Protestant shall never be hushed; the spirit of Reformation shall never + sleep. O, lands of Farel and of Calvin, of Zwingle and of Luther! O + countries where the trumpet first sounded, marshalling the people to this + fearful contest! We have heard the blast rolling still louder down the + path of three hundred years, and in our solid muster-march we come, the + children of the tenth generation. We come a growing phalanx, not with + carnal weapons, but with the armor of the gospel, and wielding the sword + of truth on the right hand and on the left, we say that ANTICHRIST MUST + FALL. Hear it, ye witnesses, and mark the word; by the majesty of the + coming kingdom of Jesus, and by the eternal purpose of Jehovah, THIS + ANTICHRIST MUST FALL." + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /> + </div> + <p> + END + </p> + <div style="height: 6em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Life in the Grey Nunnery at Montreal, by +Sarah J Richardson + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY *** + +***** This file should be named 5734-h.htm or 5734-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/5/7/3/5734/ + + +Text file produced by Gardner Buchanan with help from Charles Franks +and Distributed Proofers + +HTML file produced by David Widger + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Life in the Grey Nunnery at Montreal + +Author: Sarah J Richardson + +Editor: Edward P. Hood + + +Release Date: May, 2004 [EBook #5734] +This file was first posted on August 18, 2002 +Last Updated: June 24, 2013 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY *** + + + + +Produced by Gardner Buchanan with help from Charles Franks +and Distributed Proofers + + + + + + + + + +LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY AT MONTREAL + +An authentic narrative of the horrors, mysteries, and cruelties of +convent life by Sarah J. Richardson, an escaped nun. + + +By Sarah J Richardson + + +Edited by Edward P. Hood + + +[A long unsigned note of opinion on the veracity of this work has been +deleted per the policy of Project Gutenberg concerning such ammendations.} + + +TABLE OF CONTENTS + +CHAPTER I PARENTAGE--FATHER'S MARRIAGE +CHAPTER II THE WHITE NUNNERY +CHAPTER III THE NURSERY +CHAPTER IV A SLAVE FOR LIFE +CHAPTER V CEREMONY OF CONFIRMATION +CHAPTER VI THE GREY NUNNERY +CHAPTER VII ORPHAN'S HOME +CHAPTER VIII CONFESSION AND SORROW OF NO AVAIL +CHAPTER IX ALONE WITH THE DEAD +CHAPTER X THE SICK NUN +CHAPTER XI THE JOY OF FREEDOM +CHAPTER XII STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND +CHAPTER XIII LANDLADY'S STORY CONTINUED +CHAPTER XIV THE TWO SISTERS +CHAPTER XV CHOICE OF PUNISHMENTS +CHAPTER XVI HORRORS OF STARVATION +CHAPTER XVII THE TORTURE ROOM +CHAPTER XVIII RETURN TO THE NUNNERY +CHAPTER XIX SICKNESS AND DEATH OF A SUPERIOR +CHAPTER XX STUDENTS AT THE ACADEMY +CHAPTER XXI SECOND ESCAPE FROM THE NUNNERY +CHAPTER XXII LONELY MIDNIGHT WALK +CHAPTER XXIII FLIGHT AND RECAPTURE +CHAPTER XXIV RESOLVES TO ESCAPE +CHAPTER XXV EVENTFUL JOURNEY +CHAPTER XXVI CONCLUSION + +APPENDIX I ABSURDITIES OF ROMANISTS +APPENDIX II CRUELTY OF ROMANISTS +APPENDIX III INQUISITION OF GOA--IMPRISONMENT OF + M. DELLON, 1673 +APPENDIX IV INQUISITION OF GOA, CONCLUDED +APPENDIX V INQUISITION AT MACERATA, ITALY +APPENDIX VI ROMANISM OF THE PRESENT DAY +APPENDIX VII NARRATIVE OP SIGNORINA FLORIENCIA + D' ROMANI + + + +TABLE OF CONTENTS + +CHAPTER I PARENTAGE--FATHER'S MARRIAGE CHAPTER II THE WHITE NUNNERY +CHAPTER III THE NURSERY CHAPTER IV A SLAVE FOR LIFE CHAPTER V CEREMONY +OF CONFIRMATION CHAPTER VI THE GREY NUNNERY CHAPTER VII ORPHAN'S HOME +CHAPTER VIII CONFESSION AND SORROW OF NO AVAIL CHAPTER IX ALONE WITH THE +DEAD CHAPTER X THE SICK NUN CHAPTER XI THE JOY OF FREEDOM CHAPTER XII +STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND CHAPTER XIII LANDLADY'S STORY CONTINUED +CHAPTER XIV THE TWO SISTERS CHAPTER XV CHOICE OF PUNISHMENTS CHAPTER XVI +HORRORS OF STARVATION CHAPTER XVII THE TORTURE ROOM CHAPTER XVIII RETURN +TO THE NUNNERY CHAPTER XIX SICKNESS AND DEATH OF A SUPERIOR CHAPTER +XX STUDENTS AT THE ACADEMY CHAPTER XXI SECOND ESCAPE FROM THE NUNNERY +CHAPTER XXII LONELY MIDNIGHT WALK CHAPTER XXIII FLIGHT AND RECAPTURE +CHAPTER XXIV RESOLVES TO ESCAPE CHAPTER XXV EVENTFUL JOURNEY CHAPTER +XXVI CONCLUSION + +APPENDIX I ABSURDITIES OF ROMANISTS APPENDIX II CRUELTY OF ROMANISTS +APPENDIX III INQUISITION OF GOA--IMPRISONMENT OF M. DE + APPENDIX IV INQUISITION OF GOA, CONCLUDED APPENDIX V INQUISITION AT +MACERATA, ITALY APPENDIX VI ROMANISM OF THE PRESENT DAY APPENDIX VII +NARRATIVE OP SIGNORINA FLORIENCIA D' ROMANI + + + + +LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY. + + +CHAPTER I. + +PARENTAGE.--FATHER'S MARRIAGE. + +I was born at St. John's, New Brunswick, in the year 1835. My father was +from the city of Dublin, Ireland, where he spent his youth, and received +an education in accordance with the strictest rules of Roman Catholic +faith and practice. Early manhood, however, found him dissatisfied with +his native country, longing for other scenes and distant climes. He +therefore left Ireland, and came to Quebec. + +Here he soon became acquainted with Capt. Willard, a wealthy English +gentleman, who, finding him a stranger in a strange land, kindly opened +his door, and gave him employment and a home. Little did he think that +in so doing he was warming in his bosom a viper whose poisonous fangs +would, ere long, fasten on his very heart-strings, and bring down +his grey hairs with sorrow to the grave. His only child was a lovely +daughter of fourteen. From what I have heard of her, I think she must +have been very beautiful in person, quiet, gentle and unassuming in +her deportment, and her disposition amiable and affectionate. She was +exceedingly romantic, and her mental powers were almost, if not entirely +uncultivated; still, she possessed sufficient strength of character to +enable her to form a deep, ardent, and permanent attachment. + +The young stranger gazed upon her with admiring eyes, and soon began +to whisper in her ear the flattering tale of love. This, of course, +her parents could not approve. What! give their darling to a stranger? +Never, no, never. What could they do without her? Grieved that their +kindness should have been thus returned, they bade him go his way, and +leave their child in peace. He did go, but like a thief he returned. In +the darkness of midnight he stole to her chamber, and bore away from the +home of her childhood, "a father's joy, a mother's pride." + +Who can tell the anguish of their souls when they entered that deserted +chamber? How desolate their lonely hearthstone! How dark the home where +her presence had scattered rainbow hues! A terrible blow it was to +Capt. Willard; a very bitter thing thus to have his cherished plans +frustrated, his brightest hopes destroyed; to see the very sun of his +existence go down at midday in clouds and darkness. Yes, to the +stern father this sad event brought bitter, bitter grief. But to the +mother--that tender, affectionate mother, it was death. Yea, more +than death, for reason, at the first shock, reeled and tottered on its +throne; then, as days and weeks passed by, and still the loved one did +not return, when every effort to find her had been made in vain, then, +the dread certainty settled down upon her soul that her child was lost +to her forever. Hope, gave place to despair, and she became, from that +time, a raving maniac. At length death came to her relief, and her +husband was left alone. + +Six weary years passed over the lonely man, and then he rejoiced in the +intelligence that his child was still living with her husband at St. +John's. He immediately wrote to her imploring her to return to her +old home, and with the light of her presence dispel the gloom of his +dwelling. Accordingly she left St. John's, and in company with her +husband returned to her father. I was then about a year and a half +old, but I have so often heard these facts related by my father and +grandfather, they are indelibly impressed on my mind, and will never be +erased from my memory. + +My mother now thought her trouble at an end, that in future she should +enjoy the happiness she once anticipated. But, alas for all human +prospects! Ere one short month had passed, difficulties arose in +consequence of the difference in their religious opinions. Capt. Willard +was a firm Protestant, while my father was quite as firm in his belief +of the principles of the Roman Catholics. "Can two walk together except +they be agreed?" They parted in anger, and my father again became a +wanderer, leaving his wife and child with his father-in-law. But my +mother was a faithful, devoted wife. Her husband was her heart's chosen +idol whom she loved too well to think of being separated from. She +therefore left her father's house, with all its luxuries and enjoyments, +to follow the fortunes of one, who was certainly unworthy of the pure +affection thus lavished upon him. As her health had been delicate for +the last two years, she concluded to leave me with her father for a +short time, intending to send for me, as soon as she was in a situation +to take care of me. But this was not to be. Death called her away, and +I saw my mother no more till her corpse was brought back, and buried in +her father's garden. + +Two years I remained with my grandfather, and from him, I received the +most affectionate and devoted attention. My father at length opened a +saloon, for the sale of porter, and hired a black woman to do his work. +He then came for me. My grandfather entreated that I might be allowed to +remain. Well he knew that my father was not the man to be entrusted with +the care of a child--that a Porter House was no place for me, for he was +quite sure that stronger liquors than porter were there drank and sold. +In fact, it was said, that my father was himself a living evidence of +this. But it is of a parent I am speaking, and, whatever failings the +world may have seen in him, to me he was a kind and tender father. The +years I spent with him were the happiest of my life. On memory's +page they stand out in bold relief, strikingly contrasting with the +wretchedness of my after life. And though I cannot forget that his own +rash act brought this wretchedness upon me, still, I believe his +motives were good. I know that he loved me, and every remembrance of +his kindness, and those few bright days of childhood, I have carefully +cherished as a sacred thing. He did not, however, succeed in the +business he had undertaken, but lost his property and was at length +compelled to give up his saloon. + +I was then placed in a Roman Catholic family, where he often visited, +and ever appeared to feel for me the most devoted attachment. One day he +came to see me in a state of partial intoxication. I did not then know +why his face was so red, and his breath so offensive, but I now know +that he was under the influence of ardent spirits. The woman with whom +I boarded seeing his condition, and being a good Catholic, resolved +to make the most of the occasion for the benefit of the nunnery. She +therefore said to him, "You are not capable of bringing up that child; +why don't you give her to Priest Dow?"--"Will he take her?" asked my +father. "Yes," she replied, "he will put her into the nunnery, and the +nuns will take better care of her than you can." "On what condition will +they take her?" he asked. "Give the priest one hundred dollars," replied +the artful woman, "and he will take good care of her as long as she +lives." + +This seemed a very plausible story; but I am sure my father did not +realize what he was doing. Had he waited for a little reflection, he +would never have consented to such an arrangement, and my fate would +have been quite different. But as it was, he immediately sent for the +priest, and gave me to him, to be provided for, as his own child, until +I was of age. I was then to be allowed to go out into the world if I +chose. To this, Priest Dow consented, in consideration of one hundred +dollars, which he received, together with a good bed and bedding. My +mother's gold ear-rings were also entrusted to his care, until I should +be old enough to wear them. But I never saw them again. Though I was at +that time but six years old, I remember perfectly, all that passed upon +that memorable occasion. I did not then comprehend the full meaning of +what was said, but I understood enough to fill my heart with sorrow and +apprehension. + +When their bargain was completed, Priest Dow called me to him, saying, +with a smile, "You are a stubborn little girl, I guess, a little +naughty, sometimes, are you not?" Surprised and alarmed, I replied, "No, +sir." He then took hold of my hair, which was rather short, drew it back +from my forehead with a force that brought the tears to my eyes, and +pressing his hand heavily on my head, he again asked if I was not +sometimes a little wilful and disobedient. I was so much frightened at +this, I turned to my father, and with tears and sobs entreated him not +to send me away with that man, but allow me to stay at home with him. He +drew me to his bosom, wiped away my tears, and sought to quiet my fears +by assuring me that I would have a good and pleasant home; that the nuns +would take better care of me than he could; and that he would often come +to see me. Thus, by the aid of flattery on one side, and sugarplums +on the other, they persuaded me at last to accompany the priest to the +White Nunnery, St. Paul's street, Quebec. + +I was too young to realize the sad change in my situation, or to +anticipate the trials and privations that awaited me. But I was deeply +grieved thus to leave my father, my only real friend, my mother being +dead, and my grandfather a heretic, whom I had been taught to regard +with the utmost abhorrence. Little, however, did I think that this was a +last farewell. But such it was. Though he had promised to come often to +see me, I never saw my father again; never even heard from him; and now, +I do not know whether he is dead or alive. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE WHITE NUNNERY. + +On my arrival at the nunnery, I was placed under the care of a lady whom +they called a Superior. She took me into a room alone, and told me that +the priest would come to me in the morning to hear confession, and I +must confess to him all my sins. "What are sins?" I asked, and, "How +shall I confess? I don't know what it means." "Don't know what sins +are!" she exclaimed in great astonishment "Why, child, I am surprised +that you should be so ignorant! Where have you lived all your days?" +With all the simplicity of childhood, I replied, "With my father; +and once I lived with my grandfather; but they didn't tell me how to +confess." "Well," said she, "you must tell the priest all your wicked +thoughts, words, and actions." "What is wicked?" I innocently asked. +"If you have ever told an untruth;" she replied, "or taken what did not +belong to you, or been in any way naughty, disobedient, or unkind; if +you have been angry, or quarrelled with your playmates, that was wicked, +and you must tell the priest all about it If you try to conceal, or +keep back anything, the priest will know it and punish you. You cannot +deceive him if you try, for he knows all you do, or say, or even think; +and if you attempt it, you'll only get yourself into trouble. But if +you are resolved to be a good girl, kind, gentle, frank, sincere, and +obedient, the priest will love you, and be kind to you." + +When I was conducted to my room, at bedtime, I rejoiced to find in it +several little cot beds, occupied by little girls about my own age, who +had been, like myself, consigned to the tender mercies of priests and +nuns. I thought if we must live in that great gloomy house, which even +to my childish imagination seemed so much like a prison, we could +in some degree dispel our loneliness and mitigate our sorrows, by +companionship and sympathy. But I was soon made to know that even this +small comfort would not be allowed us, for the Superior, as she assisted +me to bed, told me that I must not speak, or groan, or turn upon my +side, or move in any way; for if I made the least noise or disturbance, +I would be severely punished. She assured me that if we disobeyed in the +least particular, she would know it, even if she was not present, and +deal with us accordingly. She said that when the clock struck twelve, +the bell would ring for prayers; that we must then rise, and kneel with +our heads bowed upon the bed, and repeat the prayer she taught us. When, +at length, she left us, locking the door after her, I was so frightened, +I did not dare to sleep, lest I should move, or fail to awake at the +proper time. + +Slowly passed the hours of that long and weary night, while I lay, +waiting the ringing of the bell, or thinking upon the past with deep +regret. The most fearful visions haunted my brain, and fears of future +punishment filled my mind. How could I hope to escape it, when they were +so very strict, and able to read my most secret thoughts? What would I +not have given could I have been again restored to my father? True he +was intemperate, but at that time I thought not of this; I only knew +that he was always kind to me, that he never refused what I asked of +him. I sometimes think, even now, that if he had not so cruelly thrust +me from him, I might have been able to win him from his cups and evil +course of life. But this was not to be. Having given himself up to the +demon of intemperance, it is not surprising that he should have given +away his only child; that he should have placed her in the hands of +those who proved utterly unworthy of the trust. But however indignant I +may at times have felt towards him, for the one great wrong he committed +against me, still I do not believe he would ever have done it but for +the influence of ardent spirits. Moreover, I do not suppose that he had +the least idea what kind of a place it was. He wished, doubtless, that +his child might be well educated; that she might be shielded from the +many trials and temptations that cluster around the footsteps of the +young and inexperienced, in the midst of a cold and heartless world. +From these evils the nunnery, he thought, would be a secure retreat, for +there science, religion, and philanthropy, PROFESSEDLY, go hand in hand. +Like many other deluded parents, he thought that "Holiness to the Lord" +was inscribed upon those walls, and that nothing which could pervert or +defile the youthful mind, was permitted to enter there. With these views +and feelings, he was undoubtedly sincere when he told me, "I would have +a good home, and the nuns would take better care of me than he could." +Rash his decision certainly was, cruel it proved to be; but I shall ever +give him credit for good intentions. + +At length the bell rang, and all the girls immediately left their beds, +and placed themselves upon their knees. I followed their example, but +I had scarcely time to kneel by my bed, when the Superior came into the +room with a light in her hand, and attended by a priest. He came to me, +opened a book, and told me to cross myself. This ceremony he instructed +me to perform in the following manner: the right hand is placed upon the +forehead, and drawn down to the breast; then across the breast from +left to right. The Superior then told me to say the prayer called +"Hail Mary!" I attempted to do so, but failed, for, though I had often +repeated it after my father, I could not say it correctly alone. She +then bade me join my hands, and repeat it after her. "Hail Mary! Full of +grace! The Lord be with thee! Blessed art thou among women! Blessed is +the fruit of thy womb, Jesus! Mother of God! Pray for us sinners, now, +and at the hour of our death, Amen." + +"Now," said the Superior, as I rose from my knees, "you must learn every +word of that prayer before to-morrow night, or go without your supper." +I tried my best to remember it, but with so little instruction, for she +repeated it to me but once, I found it quite impossible the next night +to say it correctly. Of course, I was compelled to go without my supper. +This may seem a light punishment to those who have enough to eat--who +sit down to a full table, and satisfy their appetite three times per +day, but to a nun, who is allowed only enough to sustain life, it +is quite a different thing. And especially to a child, this mode of +punishment is more severe, and harder to bear than almost any other. I +thought I would take good care not to be punished in that way again; but +I little knew what was before me. + +Before the Superior left us she assisted me into bed, and bade me be +very still until the second bell in the morning. Then, I must rise +and dress as quickly as possible, and go to her room. Quietness, she +enjoined upon me as a virtue, while the least noise, or disturbance of +any kind, would be punished as a crime. She said I must walk very softly +indeed along the halls, and close the doors so carefully that not +a sound could be heard. After giving me these first instructions in +convent life, she left me, and I was allowed to sleep the rest of the +night. + +The next morning, I awoke at the ringing of the first bell, but I did +not dare to stir until the second bell, when the other little girls +arose in great haste. I then dressed as quickly as possible, but not +a word was spoken--not a thought, and scarcely a look exchanged. I +was truly "alone amid a crowd," and I felt the utter loneliness of my +situation most keenly. Yet I saw very clearly that there was but one +course for me to pursue, and that was, to obey in all things; to have +no will of my own, and thus, if possible, escape punishment. But it was +hard, very hard for me to bring my mind to this. I had been the idolized +child of affection too long to submit readily and patiently to the +privations I was now forced to endure. Hitherto my will had been law. +I had naturally an imperious, violent temper, which I had never been +taught to govern. Instead of this, my appetites were pampered, my +passions indulged, and every desire gratified as far as possible. Until +that last sad parting, I hardly knew what it was to have a request +refused; and now, to experience such a change--such a sudden transition +from the most liberal indulgence to the most cruel and rigorous +self-denial--Oh, it was a severe trial to my independent spirit to +submit to it. Yet, submit I must, for I had learned, even then, that +my newly appointed guardians were not to be trifled with. Henceforth, +OBEDIENCE must be my motto. To every command, however cruel and unjust, +I must yield a blind, passive, and unquestioning obedience. + +I dressed as quickly as possible, and hastened down to the Superior. +As I passed through the hall, I thought I would be very careful to step +softly, but in my haste I forgot what she said about closing the door, +and it came together with a loud crash. On entering the room, I found +the Superior waiting for me; in her hand she held a stick about a foot +long, to the end of which was attached nine leather strings, some twelve +or fifteen inches long, and about the size of a man's little finger. She +bade me come to her, in a voice so cold and stern it sent a thrill of +terror through my frame, and I trembled with the apprehension of some +impending evil. I had no idea that she was about to punish me, for I +was not aware that I had done anything to deserve it; but her looks +frightened me, and I feared,--I know not what. She took hold of my arm, +and without saying a word, gave me ten or twelve strokes over the head +and shoulders with this miniature cat-o'-nine-tails. Truly, with her, it +was "a word and a blow, and the blow came first." Wherever the strings +chanced to fall upon the bare flesh, they raised the skin, as though a +hot iron had been applied to it. In some places they took off the skin +entirely, and left the flesh raw, and quivering with the stinging +pain. I could not think at first what I had done to deserve this severe +punishment, nor did she condescend to enlighten me. But when I began +to cry, and beg to go to my father, she sternly bade me stop crying at +once, for I could not go to my father. I must stay there, she said, and +learn to remember all her commands and obey then. She then taught me the +following verse: + + I am a little nun, + The sisters I will mind; + When I am pretty and learn, + Then they will use me kind. + I must not be so noisy + When I go about the house, + I'll close the doors so softly + They'll think I am a mouse. + +This verse I repeated until I could say it correctly. I was then +taken to the breakfast-room, where I was directed to kneel before the +crucifix, and say my prayers, which I repeated after the Superior. I was +then seated at the table, and directed to hold my head down, and fix my +eyes upon my plate. I must not look at any one, or gaze about the room; +but sit still, and quietly eat what was given me. I had upon my plate, +one thin slice of wheat bread, a bit of potato, and a very small cup of +milk. This was my stated allowance, and I could have no more, however +hungry I might be. The same quantity was given me every meal, when +in usual health, until I was ten years of age. On fast days, no food +whatever was allowed; and we always fasted for three meals before +receiving the sacrament. This ceremony was observed every third day, +therefore we were obliged to fast about one-third of the time. +Yet, however long the fast might be, my allowance of food was never +increased. + +After breakfast the Superior took me to Priest Dow for confession. He +kept me with him all day, allowing me neither food nor drink; nor did +he permit me to break my fast until four o'clock the next day. I then +received what they call the sacrament, for the first time. + +To prepare for this, I was clad in a white dress and cape, and a white +cap on my head. I was then led to the chapel, and passing up the aisle, +knelt before the altar. Priest Dow then came and stood before me, +and taking from a wine-glass a small thin wafer, he placed it upon my +tongue, at the same time repeating some Latin words, which, the Superior +afterwards told me, mean in English, "The body and blood of Christ." I +was taught to believe that I held in my mouth the real body and blood +of Christ. I was also told that if I swallowed the wafer before it had +melted on my tongue, IT WOULD CHOKE ME TO DEATH; and if I indulged an +evil thought while I held it in my mouth I SHOULD FALL INTO A POOL OF +BLOOD. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +THE NURSERY. + +While in the White Nunnery, I spent the most of my time in the nursery. +But the name gives one no idea of the place. The freedom and careless +gayety, so characteristic of other nurseries, had no place in this. No +cheerful conversation, no juvenile merriment, or pleasureable excitement +of any kind, were ever allowed. A merry laugh, on the contrary, a witty +jest, or a sly practical joke, would have been punished as the most +heinous offence. Here as elsewhere in the establishment, the strictest +rules of silence and obedience were rigidly enforced. There were twenty +little girls in the room with me, but we were never permitted to speak +to each other, nor to any one except a priest or a Superior. When +directly addressed by either of them we were allowed to answer; but we +might never ask a question, or make a remark, or in any way, either by +looks, words, or signs, hold communication with each other. Whenever we +did so, it was at the risk of being discovered and severely punished. +Yet this did not repress the desire for conversation; it only made us +more cautious, artful, and deceptive. The only recreation allowed us +was fifteen minutes' exercise in the yard every morning and evening. We +might then amuse ourselves as we chose, but were required to spend +the whole time in some kind of active exercise; if one of our number +ventured to sit still, we were all punished the next day by being kept +in the house. + +It was my business, while in the nursery, to dust all the furniture +and the floor, with a flannel mop, made and kept for this purpose. The +floors were all painted and varnished, and very easily kept clean. + +Two hours and a half each day we spent with a priest, whom we were +taught to call Father Darity (I do not know as I spell this and other +names correctly, but I give it to the reader as it sounded to my ear). +He appeared to take great pleasure in learning us to repeat the prayers +and catechism required by Priest Dow. He also gave us a variety of +instructions in other things, enjoining in particular the most absolute +obedience and perfect silence. He assured us that if we dared to disobey +him in the least particular, he should know it, even if he was not +present with us at the time. He said he knew all our thoughts, words, +and actions; and if we did not obey, he should "EAT US WITH A GRAIN OF +SALT." + +I presume my reader will smile at this, and exclaim, "How absurd!" Yes, +to you it is absurd; but to the mind of a child who placed the utmost +confidence in his veracity, it was an evidence that he was invested +with supernatural powers. For myself I believed every word he said, +and nothing would have tempted me to disobey him. Perfect obedience he +considered the highest attainment, and, to secure this, the greatest of +all virtues, no means were thought too severe. We were frightened and +punished in every possible way. + +But, though Father Darity acted on the one great principle with the +Romanists, that the "end sanctifies the means," he was in general a much +kinder man than Priest Dow. He urged us on with our catechism as fast as +possible, telling us, as a motive to greater diligence, that the bishop +was soon to visit us, and that we could not be admitted to his presence +until we had our prayers and catechism perfectly. + +One day, when we were in the yard at play, I told one of the little +girls that I did not like to live there; that I did not like one of the +people in the house; that I wished to return to my father, and I should +tell him so the first time he came to see me. + +"Then you like to live with your father?" said she. I told her I did, +for then I could do as I pleased, without the fear of punishment. She +said that she did not like to live there any better than I did. I asked +her why she did not go away, if she disliked to stay. She replied, "I +should like to go away well enough, if I had any friends to go to; but +my father and mother are both dead, and I have no home but this; so you +see I must stay here if they wish me to; but there is one consolation; +if we are good girls, and try to do right, they will be kind to us." I +made no further remark; but the moment we returned to the house she +told the Superior what I said, taking good care not to repeat her own +expressions, and leaving the Superior to infer that she had made no +reply. + +I saw at once by the stern look that came over the lady's face that she +was very angry; and I would gladly have recalled those few hasty words +had it been in my power to have done so. She immediately left the room, +but soon returned with Priest Dow. His countenance also indicated +anger, as he took hold of my arm and led me to a darkened room, in which +several candles were burning. + +Here I saw three scenes, which I think must have been composed of +images, pictures, and curtains. I do not pretend to describe them +correctly, I can only tell how they appeared to me. + +The first was an image of Christ on the cross, with his arms extended as +we usually see them in pictures. On his right hand was a representation +of heaven, and on the left, of hell. Heaven was made to appear like a +bright, beautiful, and glorious place. A wall of pink color surrounded +it, and in the center was a spring of clear water. In the midst of this +spring stood a tree, bearing on every limb a lighted candle, and on the +top, the image of Christ and a dove. + +Hell was surrounded by a black wall, within which, there was also a +spring; but the water was very black, and beside it stood a large black +image, with horns on its head, a long tail, and a large cloven foot. The +place where it stood was in deep shadow, made to resemble, as neatly +as possible, clouds and darkness. The priest led me up to this fearful +object, and placed me on one side of it, while he stood on the other; +but it would turn away from him towards me, roll up its great eyes, open +its mouth and show its long white tusks. The priest said it turned from +him, because he was a good man, and I was very wicked. He said that it +was the devil, come up from the bottomless pit to devour me; and if I +said such wicked words again, it would carry me off. I was very much +frightened, for I then thought that all he said was true; that those +images, which I now know were strung on wires were really what they were +made to represent. + +In fact, until I was fifteen years old, I really believed that the image +I then saw was an evil spirit. But since that time, I have been made +to know that the priests themselves are the only evil spirits about the +place. + +Priest Dow then led me back to the nursery, and left me with the +Superior. But he soon came, back, saying he "knew what I was thinking +about; that I had wicked thoughts about him; thought he was a bad man, +and that I wished to leave him and go to my father;" Now this was all +true, and the fact that he knew it, frightened me accordingly. It was a +sure proof that what Father Darity said was true. But how could I ever +be safe, if they could thus read the inmost secrets of my soul? I did +dislike them all very much indeed and I could not help it. How then +could I avert the consequences of this deep aversion to convent life, +since it could not be concealed? Was it possible for me so far to +conquer myself, as to love the persons with whom I lived? How many +nights did I lie awake pondering this question, and resolving to make +the effort. I was, of course, too young to know that it was only by +shrewd guessing, and a general knowledge of human nature, that he was +enabled to tell my thoughts so correctly. + +"Now," said he, "for indulging these dreadful thoughts, I shall take you +back to the devil, and give you up to him." I was frightened before; but +I have no words to describe my feelings when he again led me back, and +left me beside the image, saying, as he closed the door, "If the devil +groans three times, and the Lord does not speak, you must stay here +until to-morrow at this time." I trembled so that I could hardly stand, +and when, after a few moments, a sound like a groan fell upon my ears, I +shrieked in the extremity of terror. + +[Footnote: Cioui, formerly a Benedictine Monk, giving an account of his +imprisonment at Rome, after his conversion says:-- + +"One evening, after listening to a discourse filled with dark images of +death, I returned to my room, and found the light set upon the ground. +I took it up and approached the table to place it there, but what was +my horror and consternation at beholding spread out upon it, a whitened +skeleton! Before the reader can comprehend my dismay, it is necessary +he should reflect for a moment on the peculiarities of childhood, +especially in a Romish country, where children are seldom spoken to +except in superstitious language, whether by their parents or teachers: +and domestics adopt the same style to answer their own purposes, +menacing their disobedient charges with hobgoblins, phantoms and +witches. Such images as these make a profound impression on tender +minds, leaving a panic terror which the reasoning of after years is +often unable entirely to efface. There can be no doubt but that this +pernicious habit, is the fruit of the noxious plant fostered in the +Vatican. Rising generations must be brought up in superstitious terror, +in order to render them susceptible to every kind of absurdity; for this +terror is the powerful spring, employed by the priests and friars, to +move at their pleasure families, cities, provinces, nations. Although +in families of the higher order, this method of alarming infancy is much +discountenanced, nevertheless, it is impossible but that it should in +some degree prevail in the nursery. Nor was it probable that I should +escape this infections malady, having passed my whole days in an +atmosphere, charged more than any other with that impure miasma +priest-craft."] + +Then immediately I heard the question, and it seemed to come from the +figure of Christ, "Will you obey? Will you leave off sin?" I answered in +the affirmative as well as I could, for the convulsive sobs that shook +my frame almost stopped my utterance. I now know that when the priest +left me, he placed himself, or an assistant, behind a curtain close to +the images, and it was his voice that I heard. But I was then too young +to detect their treacherous practices and deceitful ways. + +On being taken back to the Superior, I was immediately attacked with +severe illness, and had fits all night. It seemed to me that I could +see that image of the devil everywhere. If I closed my eyes, I thought +I could feel him on my bed, pressing on my breast, and he was so heavy I +could scarcely breathe. I was very sick, and suffered much bodily pain, +but the tortures of an excited imagination were greater by far, and +harder to bear than any physical suffering. For long years after, that +image haunted my dreams, and even now I often, in sleep, live over again +the terrors of that fearful scene. I was sick a long time; how long I do +not know; but I became so weak I could not raise myself in bed, and they +had an apparatus affixed to the wall to raise me with. For several days +I took no nourishment, except a teaspoonful of brandy and water which +was given me as often as I could take it I continued to have fits every +day for more than two years, nor did I ever entirely recover from the +effects of that fright. Even now, though years have passed away, a +little excitement or a sudden shock, will sometimes throw me into one of +those fits. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +A SLAVE FOR LIFE. + +During this illness I was placed under the care of an Abbess whom they +called St. Bridget. There were many other Abbesses in the convent, but +she was the principal one, and had the care of all the clothing. If +the others wished for clean clothes, they were obliged to go to her for +them. In that way I saw them all, but did not learn their names. They +approached me and looked at me, but seldom spoke. This I thought very +strange, but I now know they dared not speak. One day an Abbess came to +my bed, and after standing a few moments with the tears silently flowing +down her cheeks, asked me if I had a mother. I told her I had not, and I +began to weep most bitterly. I was very weak, and the question recalled +to my mind the time when I shared a father's love, and enjoyed my +liberty. Then, I could go and come as I chose, but now, a slave for +life, I could have no will of my own, I must go at bidding, and come at +command. This, I am well aware, may seem to some extravagant language; +but I use the right word. I was, literally, a slave; and of all kinds of +slavery, that which exists in a convent is the worst. I say, THE WORST, +because the story of wrong and outrage which occasionally finds its way +to the public ear, is not generally believed. You pity the poor black +man who bends beneath the scourge of southern bondage, for the tale +comes to you from those who have seen his tears and heard his groans. +But you have no tears, no prayers, no efforts for the poor helpless +nun who toils and dies beneath the heartless cruelty of an equally +oppressive task-master. No; for her you have no sympathy, for you do not +believe her word. Within those precincts of cruelty, no visitor is ever +admitted. No curious eye may witness the secrets of their prison-house. +Consequently, there is no one to bear direct testimony to the truth of +her statements. Even now, methinks, I see your haughty brow contract, +and your lip curl with scorn, as with supreme contempt you throw down +these pages and exclaim, "'Tis all a fiction. Just got up to make money. +No proof that it is true." No proof do you say? O, that the strong arm +of the law would interpose in our behalf!--that some American Napoleon +would come forth, and break open those prison doors, and drag forth to +the light of day those hidden instruments of torture! There would then +be proof enough to satisfy the most incredulous, that, so far from being +exaggerated, the half has not been told. Sons of America! Will you not +arise in your might, and demand that these convent doors be opened, and +"the oppressed" allowed to "go free"? Or if this be denied, sweep from +the fair earth, the black-hearted wretches who dare, in the very face +of heaven, to commit such fearful outrages upon helpless, suffering +humanity? How long--O how long will you suffer these dens of iniquity +to remain unopened? How long permit this system of priestly cruelty to +continue? + +But I am wandering from my story. Would that I might forever wander +from it--that I might at once blot from memory's page, the fearful +recollection that must follow me to my grave! Yet, painful as it is +to rehearse the past, if I can but awaken your sympathy for other +sufferers, if I can but excite you to efforts for their deliverance, it +is all I ask. I shall have my reward. But to return to my story. + +The Abbess saw how deeply I was grieved, and immediately left the room. +St. Bridget told me not to cry, for she would be a mother to me as long +as I remained with her, and she was true to her promise. Another sister, +who sometimes came to my room, I believe was crazy. She would run up to +my bed, put her hand on me, and burst into a loud and hearty laugh. This +she repeated as often as she came, and I told the Abbess one day, I did +wish that sister would not come to see me, for she acted so strange, I +was afraid of her. She replied, "do not care for her; she always does +just so, but we do not mind her; you must be careful what you say," she +continued, "for if you speak of her before any of the sisters, they may +get you into trouble." + +When I began to get better, I had a sharp appetite for food, and was +hungry a great part of the time. One of the sisters used to bring me a +piece of bread concealed under her cape and hide it under my pillow. +How she obtained it, I do not know, unless she saved it from her own +allowance. It was very easy for her to hide it in this way, for the nuns +always walk with one hand under their cape and the other by the side. +Truly, in this instance, "bread eaten in secret" was "pleasant." Of +all the luxuries I ever tasted, those stolen bits of bread were the +sweetest. + +During my illness I thought a great deal about my father, and wondered +why he did not come to see me, as he had promised. I used to cry for him +in my sleep, and very often awoke in tears. St. Bridget sought in every +possible way to make me forget him, and the priest would tell me that I +need not think so much about him, for he no longer cared for me. He +said the devil had got him, and I would never see him again. These cruel +words, so far from making me forget, served to awaken a still greater +desire to see him, and increased my grief because I was denied the +privilege. + +In the room with me, were six other little girls, who were all sick at +the same time, and St. Bridget took care of us all For two of the little +girls, I felt the greatest sympathy. They were quite young, I think not +more than three years of age, and they grieved continually. They made +no complaint, did not even shed a tear, but they sobbed all the time, +whether asleep or awake. Of their history, I could learn nothing at that +time, except the fact, that they were taken from their parents for the +good of their souls. I afterwards overheard a conversation that led me +to think that they were heirs to a large property, which, if they were +out of the way, would go to the church. But it is of what I know, and +not what I think, that I have undertaken to write, and I do know that +the fate of those little girls was hard in the extreme, whatever might +have been the cause of their being there. Poor little creatures! No +wonder their hearts were broken. Torn from parents and friends while yet +in early childhood--doomed while life is spared, to be subject to the +will of those who know no mercy--who feel no pity, but consider it a +religious duty to crush, and destroy all the pure affections--all the +exquisite sensibilities of the human soul. Yet to them these hapless +babes must look for all the earthly happiness they could hope to enjoy. +They were taught to obey them in all things, and consider them their +only friends and protectors. I never saw them after I left that room, +but they did not live long. I was glad they did not, for in the cold +grave their sufferings would be over and they would rest in peace. + +O, how little do Protestants know the sufferings of a nun! and truly +no one can know them except by personal experience. One may imagine the +most aggravated form of cruelty, the most heart-rending agonies, yet I +do believe the conception of the most active imagination would fall +far short of the horrible reality. I do not believe there was one happy +individual in that convent, or that any one there, if I except the lady +Superior, knew anything of enjoyment. Life with them was a continual +round of ceaseless toil and bitter self-denial; while each one had some +secret grief slowly but surely gnawing away the heart-strings. I have +sometimes seen the Abbess sitting by the bedside of the sick, with her +eyes closed, while the big tears fell unchecked over her pale cheeks. +When I asked her why she wept, she would shake her head, but never +speak. I now know that she dare not speak for fear of punishment. + +The abbesses in the various parts of this convent are punished as much +as the nuns, if they dare to disobey the rules of the priests; and if +the least of these are broken in the presence of any one in the house, +they will surely tell of it at confession. In fact, they are required +to do this; and if it is known that one has seen a rule broken, or a +command disobeyed, without reporting it, a severe punishment is sure to +follow. Thus every individual is a spy upon the rest; and while every +failure is visited with condign punishment, the one who makes the most +reports is so warmly approved, that poor human nature can hardly resist +the temptation to play the traitor. Friendship cannot exist within +the walls of a convent, for no one can be trusted, even with the most +trifling secret. Whoever ventures to try it is sure to be betrayed. + +While I was sick Father Darity came often to see me, and by his kindness +succeeded in gaining my affections. I was a great favorite with him; +he always called me his little girl, and tried in every way to make me +contented. He wished to make me say that I was happy there, that I +liked to live with them as well as with my father. But I could never be +persuaded to say this, for it was not the truth, and I would not tell a +falsehood unless forced to do so. He said I must be a good girl, and he +hoped I would sometime see better times, but I could never see my father +again, and I must not desire it. He advised me, however hard it might +be, to try and love all who came into the nunnery, even those who were +unkind, who wished to injure me or wound my feelings. He told me how +Jesus Christ loved his enemies; how he died for them a cruel death on +the cross; how, amid his bitter agonies, he prayed for them, and with +his expiring breath he cried, "Father, forgive them, they know not what +they do." "And now," said he, "can you do as Jesus Christ did? He has +set you an example, can you not follow it?" "No, sir," I replied, "I +cannot love those who punish me so cruelly, so unjustly. I cannot love +the little girl who reported what I said in the yard, when she said as +bad things as I did." "But you forget," said he, "that in doing this she +only obeyed the rules of the house. She only did her duty; if you +had done yours, you would have reported her." "I'll never do that," I +exclaimed, emboldened by his kindness. "It is a bad rule, and--" "Hush, +hush, child!" he cried, interrupting me. "Do you know to whom you are +speaking? and do you forget that you are a little girl? Are you wiser +than your teachers? I must give you a penance for those naughty words, +and you will pray for a better spirit." He said much more to me, and +gave me good advice that I remember much better than I followed. He +enjoined if upon me to keep up good courage, as I would gain my health +faster. He then bade me farewell, telling me not to forget, to repeat +certain prayers as a penance for my sin in speaking so boldly. O, did +he think when he talked to me so kindly, so faithfully, that it was his +last opportunity to give me good advice? Did he know that he left me to +return no more? I saw nothing unusual in his appearance, and I did not +suspect that it was the last time I should see his pleasant face and +listen to his kindly voice. I loved that man, and bitter were the tears +I shed when I learned that I should never see him again. The Abbess +informed me that he was sent away for something he had done, she did not +know what. O that something! I knew well enough what it was. He had a +kind heart; he could feel for the unfortunate, and that, with the Roman +Catholics, is an "unpardonable sin." + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +CEREMONY OF CONFIRMATION. + +I continued to regain my health slowly, and the Abbess said they would +soon send me back to the nursery. I could not endure the thought of +this, for I had the greatest fear of the Abbess who had the charge of +that department. She was very cruel, while St. Bridget was as kind +as she dare to be. She knew full well that if she allowed herself to +exhibit the least feeling of affection for those children, she would be +instantly removed, and some one placed over them who would not give way +to such weakness. We all saw how it was, and loved her all the more +for the severity of her reproofs when any one was near. With tears, +therefore, I begged to be allowed to stay with her; and when the priest +came for me, she told him that she thought I had better remain with her +till I gained a little more strength. + +To this he consented, and I was very grateful indeed for the kindness. +Wishing in some way to express my gratitude, as soon as I was able I +assisted in taking care of the other little girls as much as possible. +St. Bridget, in turn, taught me to read a little, so that I could learn +my prayers when away from her. She also gave me a few easy lessons in +arithmetic, and instructed me to speak the Celt language. She always +spoke in that, or the French, which I could speak before, having learned +it from the family where I lived after my father gave up his saloon. +They were French Catholics and spoke no other language. + +As soon as I was sufficiently recovered to leave my room, I was taken to +the chapel to be confirmed. Before they came for me, the abbess told me +what questions would be asked, and the answers I should be required +to give. She said they would ask me if I wished to see my father; if I +should like to go back to the world, etc. To these and similar questions +she said I must give a negative answer. "But," said I, "that will be a +falsehood, and I will not say so for any of them." "Hush, hush, child!" +she exclaimed, with a frightened look. "You must not talk so. From my +heart I pity you; but it will be better for you to answer as I tell +you, for if you refuse they will punish you till you do. Remember," she +added, emphatically, "remember what I say: it will be better for you +to do as I tell you." And she made me promise that I would. "But why do +they wish me to tell a lie?" I asked. "They do not wish you to tell a +lie," she replied; "they wish you to do right, and feel right; to be +contented and willing to forget the world." "But I do not wish to forget +the world," I said. "I am not contented, and saying that I am will not +make me feel so. Is it right to tell a lie?" "It is right for you to +obey," she replied, with more severity in her tone than I ever heard +before. "Do you know," she continued, "that it is a great sin for you +to talk so?" "A sin!" I exclaimed, in astonishment; "why is it a sin?" +"Because," she replied, "you have no right to inquire why a command +is given. Whatever the church commands, we must obey, and that, too, +without question or complaint. If we are not willing to do this, it +is the duty of the Bishop and the priests to punish us until we are +willing. All who enter a convent renounce forever their own will." "But +I didn't come here myself," said I; "my father put me here to stay a few +years. When I am eighteen I shall go out again." "That does not make any +difference," she replied. "You are here, and your duty is obedience. +But my dear," she continued, "I advise you never again to speak of going +out, for it can never be. By indulging such hopes you are preparing +yourself for a great disappointment. By speaking of it, you will, +I assure you, get yourself into trouble. You may not find others +so indulgent as I am; therefore, for your own sake, I hope you +will relinquish all idea of ever leaving the convent, and try to be +contented." Such was the kind of instruction I received at the White +Nunnery. I did not feel as much disappointed at the information that I +was never to go into the world again as she had expected. I had felt for +a long time, almost, indeed, from my first entrance, that such would be +my fate, and though deeply grieved, I was able to control my feelings. + +The great day at length came for which the Abbess had been so long +preparing me. I say great, for in our monotonous life, the smallest +circumstance seemed important. Moreover, I was assured that my future +happiness depended very much upon the answers, I that day gave to the +various questions put to me. When about to be taken to the chapel, St. +Bridget begged the priest to be careful and not frighten me, lest it +should bring on my fits again. I was led into the chapel and made to +kneel before the altar. The bishop and five priests were present, and +also, a man whom I had never seen before, but I was told he was the +Pope's Nuncio, and that he came a long way to visit them. I think this +was true, for they all seemed to regard him as a superior. I shall never +forget my feelings when he asked me the following questions, which I +answered as I had been directed. "Who do you believe in?" "God." "How +many persons are there in God?" "Three; the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost." +"What world have you lately left?" "The world of sin and Satan." "Do you +wish to go back and live with your father?" "No Sir." "Do you think you +can live all your life with us." "I think I can, sir." He then said, +"You will not fare any better than you have hitherto, and perhaps not +as well." It was with the greatest difficulty that I could control my +feelings sufficiently to answer this last question. But remembering +what the Abbess had told me, I suppressed my tears, and choked down +the rising sob. Surely those men must have known that I was telling a +falsehood--that the profession I made was not in accordance with my real +sentiments. For myself, I then felt, and still feel that the guilt was +not mine. The sin did not rest with me. + +The Bishop was then told to hear my confession, after which, a priest +took some ointment from a small box, and rubbed it on my forehead, and +another priest came with a towel and wiped it off. I was then taken +back to St. Bridget, with whom I remained, as long as I was in the White +Nunnery. + +On my tenth birthday, the Bishop came to the Abbess very early in the +morning, and informed her that I was to take the White Veil that day, +and immediately after the ceremony, I would leave for the Grey Nunnery +in Montreal. He desired her to make all the necessary preparation, and +take her leave of me, as she would not see me again. This was sad news +for us both, for I felt that she was my only friend, and I knew that she +felt for me, the most sincere affection. She gave me much good advice in +reference to my future conduct, and with tears exhorted me to be kind, +cheerful, and obedient. I was going to a new place, she said, and if I +was a good girl, and sought to please my superiors, I would find some +one to be kind to me. She advised me to try and appear contented +in whatever situation I might be placed, and above all other +considerations, never disobey the least command. "Obedience," she again +repeated, "is the rule in all convents, and it will be better for you to +obey at once, and cheerfully, and willingly comply with every request, +than to incur displeasure and perhaps punishment, by any appearance of +reluctance or hesitation. If there is any one thing that you dislike to +do, be sure that you do not betray your feelings, for if you do, that +will be the very thing they will require of you; and I assure you, if +you once become the object of suspicion or dislike, your condition will +be anything but agreeable. You will be marked and watched, and required +to do many unpleasant things, to say the least. Therefore I hope you +will perform all your duties with a cheerful and willing spirit." +Bitterly did I grieve at the thought of being separated from the only +being on earth who seemed to care for me. In the anguish of the moment, +I wished I might die. St. Bridget reproved me, saying encouragingly +that death was the coward's refuge, sought only by those who had not the +resolution to meet, endure, or overcome the trials of life. She exhorted +me to courage, perseverance and self denial, saying that if I fought +life's battle bravely, I would have my reward. + +She changed all my clothes, and assisted me to put on a white dress +and cape, and a white cap and veil. She then gave me a card of good +behavior, embraced me for the last time, and led me out to the Bishop, +who was waiting to conduct me to the chapel where the ceremony was to be +performed. + +I there met ten other little girls, who, like myself, were compelled +to take upon themselves vows they did not understand, and thus, by an +apparently voluntary act, consign themselves to slavery for life. They +were all strangers to me, sent here, as I afterwards learned, from some +nunnery in Ireland, where they had friends who were too solicitous for +their welfare. The priests do not wish the nuns to see friends from the +world, and they will frame almost any plausible excuse to prevent it. +But when the friends become too urgent, as they sometimes do, and their +inventive powers are taxed too severely, or if the task of furnishing so +many excuses become too irksome, the poor hapless victims are sent +off to some other nunnery, and the friends are told that they were not +contented, and wished to go to some other place, and that they, generous +creatures that they are, have at length, after much solicitation, kindly +consented to their removal. And this too, when they know that these very +girls are grieving their lives away, for a sight of those dear friends, +who, they are confidently assured, are either dead, or have entirely +forgotten them! Can the world of woe itself furnish deceit of a darker +dye? + +The Bishop led me up to the altar, and put a lighted candle into my +hand. He then went under the altar, on which a lighted candle was +placed, and soon returned followed by two little boys whom they called +apostles. They held, each, a lighted torch with which they proceeded to +light two more candles. On a table near the altar, stood a coffin, and +soon two priests entered, bearing another coffin, which they placed +beside the other. A white cloth was spread over them, and burning +candles placed at the head and foot. These movements frightened me +exceedingly, for I thought they were going to kill me. + +Forgetting in my terror that I was not allowed to speak, I asked the +Bishop if he was going to kill me. "Kill you!" he exclaimed, "O no; +don't be frightened; I shall not hurt you in the least. But it is our +custom, when a nun takes the veil, to lay her in a coffin to show that +she is dead to the world. Did not St. Bridget tell you this?" I told him +she did not, but I did not dare to tell him that I supposed she felt +so bad when she found I must leave her, that she entirely forgot it. He +then asked very pleasantly, which of the two coffins I liked the best, +saying I could have my choice. I replied, "I have no choice." This was +true, for although he assured me to the contrary, I still believed he +was about to kill me, and I cared very little about my coffin. They were +both large enough for a grown person, and beautifully finished, with a +large silver plate on the lid. The Bishop took me up in his arms, and +laid me in one of them, and bade me close my eyes. + +I lay in that coffin a long time, as it seemed to me, without the least +motion. I was so much alarmed, I felt as though I could not even lift +a finger. Meantime the Bishop and priests read alternately from a book, +but in a language I could not understand. Occasionally they would come +and feel my hands and feet, and say to each other, "She is very cold." +I believe they were afraid I should die in their hands, of fear. When +at last they took me up, they told me that I would carry that coffin +to Montreal with me--that I would be laid in it when robed for the +grave--and that my bones would moulder to dust in it. I shall never +forget the impression these words made on my mind. There was something +so horrible in the thought of carrying a coffin about with me all my +life, constantly reminding me of the shortness of time, and the sure +approach of death, I could not endure it. Gladly would I have left it, +costly and elegant as it was, choosing rather to run the risk of being +buried without one, but this was not allowed. I could have no choice in +the matter. + +These ceremonies concluded. I was taken to a small room, and a woman +assisted me to change my clothes again, and put on the Grey Nunnery +suit. This consisted of a grey dress and shoes, and a black cap. Each +nunnery has a peculiar dress which every nun is required to wear. Thus, +on meeting one of them, it is very easy to tell what establishment she +belongs to, and a run-away is easily detected. On leaving the chapel, I +was taken to the steamboat, with the other ten girls, accompanied by a +priest. Our coffins were packed in cotton, and placed on the boat with +us. On our arrival at Montreal, we found a priest and two nuns waiting +for us to conduct us to the nunnery. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +THE GREY NUNNERY. + +The Grey Nunnery is situated on St. Paul Street, Montreal. It is four +stories high, besides the basement. It occupies a large space of ground, +I do not know how much, but it is a very extensive building. The roof +is covered with tin, with a railing around it, finished at the top with +sharp points that look like silver, about a foot in length, and +three feet apart. Over the front door there is a porch covered with a +profusion of climbing plants, which give it a beautiful appearance. +The building stands in a large yard, surrounded on all sides by a high +fence, so high indeed, that people who pass along the street can see +no part of the nunnery except the silver points on the roof. The top of +this fence is also finished with long iron spikes. Every thing around +the building seems expressly arranged to keep the inmates in, and +intruders out. In fact it would be nearly impossible for any one to gain +a forcible or clandestine admittance to any part of the establishment. +There are several gates in the fence, how many I do not know, but the +front gate opens on St. Ann Street. Over each of the gates hangs a bell, +connected with the bells in the rooms of the Superior and Abbesses, +which ring whenever the gate is opened. There is always a guard of two +men at each gate, who walk up and down with guns upon their shoulders. +While attempting to give a brief description of this building, I may as +well say that it is constructed with non-conductors between the walls, +so that the ringing of a bell, or the loudest shriek, could not be heard +from one room to the other. The reader will please bear this in mind, as +the reason for the precaution will appear in the course of my narrative. + +The priest, who met us as we left the boat, conducted us to the front +door and rang the bell. Soon a lady appeared, who drew a slide in the +middle of the door, exposing one pane of glass. Through this she looked, +to see who was there, and when satisfied on this point, opened the +door. Here let me remark, that since I left the nunnery, I have heard of +another class of people who find it convenient to have a slide in their +door; and if I am not very much mistaken, the character of the two +houses, or rather the people who live in them, are very much +alike, whether they are nunneries of private families, Catholics or +Protestants. Honest people have no need of a slide in the door, and +where there is so much precaution, may we not suppose that something +behind the curtain imperatively calls for it? It is an old adage, but +true notwithstanding, that "where there is concealment, there must be +something wrong." + +In the hall opposite the front door were two other doors, with a +considerable space between them. The right hand door was opened by the +door-tender, and we entered a room furnished in the plainest manner, but +every thing was neat, and in perfect order. Instead of chairs, on two +sides of the room a long bench was fastened to the sides of the house. +They were neither painted, nor cushioned, but were very white, as was +also the floor, on which there was no carpet. Beside the door stood +a basin of holy water, and directly opposite, an image of the Saviour +extended on the cross which they call a crucifix. + +Here we were left a few moments, then the door-keeper came back, and +asked us if we would like to see the Black Cloisters; and if so, to +follow her. She led us back into the hall, and in the space between the +two doors that I mentioned, she unlocked a bar, and pulling it down, +touched a spring, and immediately a little square door slid back into +the ceiling. Across this door, or window or whatever they called it, +were strong bars of iron about one inch apart. Through this aperture +we were allowed to look, and a sad sight met my eyes. As many as fifty +disconsolate looking ladies were sitting there, who were called Black +Nuns, because they were preparing to take the Black Veil. They were all +dressed in black, a black cap on the head, and a white bandage drawn +across the forehead, to which another was attached, that passed under +the chin. These bandages they always wore, and were not allowed to lay +aside. They sat, each one with a book in her hand, motionless as so many +statues. Not a finger did they move, not an eye was raised, but they +sat gazing upon the page before them as intently as though life itself +depended upon it. Our guide informed us that they were studying the +[footnote] Black Book preparatory to taking the Black Veil and entering +the Cloister. This book was quite a curiosity. It was very large, with a +white cover, and around the edge a black border about an inch wide. + +[Footnote: "The Black Book, or Praxis Sacra Romance Inquisitionis, is +always the model for that which is to succeed it. This book is a large +manuscript volume, in folio, and is carefully preserved by the head of +the Inquisition. It is called Libro Nero, the Black Book, because it +has a cover of that color; or, as an inquisitor explained to me, Libro +Necro, which, in the Greek language, signifies 'The book of the dead.' + +"In this book is the criminal code, with all the punishments for every +supposed crime; also the mode of conducting the trial, so as to elicit +the guilt of the accused; and the manner of receiving accusations. I had +this book in my hand on one occasion, and read therein the proceedings +relative to my own case; and I moreover saw in this same volume some +very astounding particulars; for example, in the list of punishments I +read concerning the bit, or as it is called by us THE MORDACCHIA, which +is a very simple contrivance to confine the tongue, and compress it +between two cylinders composed of iron and wood and furnished with +spikes. This horrible instrument not only wounds the tongue and +occasions excessive pain, but also, from the swelling it produces; +frequently places the sufferer in danger of suffocation. This torture is +generally had recourse to in cases considered as blasphemy against +God, the Virgin, the Saints, or the Pope. So that according to the +Inquisition, it is as great a crime to speak disparagingly of a pope, +who may be a very detestable character, as to blaspheme the holy name +of God. Be that as it may, this torture has been in use till the present +period; and, to say nothing of the exhibitions of this nature which were +displayed in Romanga, in the time of Gregory 16th., by the Inquisitor +Ancarani--in Umbria by Stefanelli, Salva, and others, we may admire +the inquisitorial seal of Cardinal Feretti, the cousin of his present +holiness, who condescended more than once to employ these means when he +was bishop of Rieti and Fermo." Dealings with the Inquisition, by the +Rev. Giacinto Achilli D. D., late Prior and Visitor of the Dominican +Order, Head Professor of Theology and Vicar of the master of the Sacred +Apostolic Palace, etc., etc., page 81.] + +Our curiosity being satisfied as far as possible, we returned to the +side room, where we waited long for the lady Superior. When at length +she came, she turned to me first, as I sat next the door, and asked me +if I had anything to show in proof of my former good character. I gave +her my card; she looked at it, and led me to the other side of the room. +The same question was asked of every girl in turn, when it was found +that only four beside myself had cards of good behavior. The other six +presented cards which she said were for bad behavior. They were all +placed together on the other side of the room; and as the Superior was +about to lead them away, one of them came towards us saying that she +did not wish to stay with those girls, she would rather go with us. +The Superior drew her back, and replied, "No, child; you cannot go with +those good girls; you would soon learn them some of your naughty ways. +If you will do wrong, you must take the consequences." Then, seeing that +the child really felt very bad, she said, in a kinder tone, "When you +learn to do right, you shall be allowed to go with good girls, but not +before." I pitied the poor child, and for a long time I hoped to see her +come to our room; but she never came. They were all led off together, +and that was the last I ever saw of any of them. + +I was taken, with the other four girls, to a room on the second floor. +Here we found five cribs, one for each of us, in which we slept. Our +food was brought to us regularly, consisting of one thin slice of fine +wheat bread for each of us, and a small cup of milk. It was only in +the morning, however, that the milk was allowed us, and for dinner and +supper we had a slice of bread and a cup of water. This was not half +enough to satisfy our hunger; but we could have no more. For myself I +can say that I was hungry all the time, and I know the others were also; +but we could not say so to each other. We were in that room together +five weeks, yet not one word passed between us. We did sometimes smile, +or shake our heads, or make some little sign, though even this was +prohibited, but we never ventured to speak. We were forbidden to do +so, on pain of severe punishment; and I believe we were watched all the +time, and kept there, for a trial of our obedience. We were employed in +peeling a soft kind of wood for beds, and filling the ticks with it. We +were directed to make our own beds, keep our room in the most perfect +order, and all our work in the middle of the floor. The Superior came up +every morning to see that we were thoroughly washed, and every Saturday +she was very particular to have our clothes and bed linen all changed. +As every convenience was provided in our rooms or the closets adjoining, +we were not obliged to go out for anything, and for five weeks I did not +go out of that room. + +My bed was then brought from Quebec, and we were moved to a large square +room, with four beds in it, only two of which were occupied. We were +then sent to the kitchen, where in future, we were to be employed in +cleaning sauce, scouring knives and forks, and such work as we were able +to do. As we grew older, our tasks were increased with our strength. I +had no regular employment, but was called upon to do any of the drudgery +that was to be done about the house. The Superior came to the kitchen +every morning after prayers and told us what to do through the day. +Then, in her presence we were allowed five minutes conversation, a +priest also being present. For the rest of the day we kept a profound +silence, not a word being spoken by any of us unless in answer to a +question from some of our superiors. + +In one part of the building there was a school for young ladies, who +were instructed in the various branches of education usually taught in +Catholic schools. Many of the scholars boarded at the nunnery, and all +the cooking and washing was done in the kitchen. We also did the cooking +for the saloons in Montreal. If this did not keep us employed, there +were corn brooms and brushes to make, and thus every moment was fully +occupied. Not a moment of leisure, no rest, no recreation, but hard +labor, and the still more laborious religious exercises, filled up the +time. It was sometimes very annoying to me to devote so many hours to +mere external forms; for I felt, even when very young, that they were +of little worth. But it was a severe trial to our temper to make so many +pies, cakes, puddings, and all kinds of rich food, which we were never +allowed to taste. The priests, superiors, and the scholars had every +luxury they desired; but the nuns, who prepared all their choice +dainties, were never permitted to taste anything but bread and water. +I am well aware that this statement will seem incredible, and that +many will doubt the truth of it; but I repeat it: the nuns in the Grey +Nunnery, or at least those in the kitchen with me, were allowed no food +except bread and water, or, in case of illness, water gruel. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +ORPHAN'S HOME. + +The Grey Nunnery is said to be an orphan's home, and no effort is spared +to make visitors believe that this is the real character of the house. +I suppose it is true that one part of it is devoted to this purpose; at +least my Superior informed me that many children were kept there; and +to those apartments visitors are freely admitted, but never to that part +occupied by the nuns. We were never allowed to communicate with people +from the world, nor with the children. In fact, during all the time I +was there, I never saw one of them, nor did I ever enter the rooms where +they were. + +In the ladies' school there were three hundred scholars, and in our +part of the house two hundred and fifty nuns, besides the children who +belonged to the nunnery. Add to these the abbesses, superiors, priests, +and bishop, and one will readily imagine that the work for such a family +was no trifling affair. + +In this nunnery the Bishop was the highest authority, and everything was +under his direction, unless the Pope's Nuncio, or some other high +church functionary was present. I sometimes saw one whom they called +the Archbishop, who was treated with great deference by the priests, and +even by the Bishop himself. + +The Holy Mother, or Lady Superior, has power over all who have taken or +are preparing to take the veil. Under her other superiors or abbesses +are appointed over the various departments, whose duty it is to look +after the nuns and novices, and the children in training for nuns. The +most rigid espionage is kept up throughout the whole establishment; and +if any of these superiors or abbesses fail to do the duty assigned +them, they are more severely punished than the nuns. Whenever the Lady +Superior is absent the punishments are assigned by one of the priests. +Of these there were a large number in the nunnery; and whenever we +chanced to meet one of them, as we sometimes did when going about the +house, or whenever one of them entered the kitchen, we must immediately +fall upon our knees. No matter what we were doing, however busily +employed, or however inconvenient it might be, every thing must be +left or set aside, that this senseless ceremony might be performed. The +priest must be honored, and woe to the poor nun who failed to move with +sufficient alacrity; no punishment short of death itself was thought too +severe for such criminal neglect. Sometimes it would happen that I would +be engaged in some employment with my back to the door, and not observe +the entrance of a priest until the general movement around me would +arrest my attention; then I would hasten to "make my manners," as the +ceremony was called; but all too late. I had been remiss in duty, and no +excuse would avail, no apology be accepted, no forgiveness granted; the +dreaded punishment must come. + +While the nuns are thus severely treated, the priests, and the Holy +Mother live a very easy life, and have all the privileges they wish. +So far as the things of this world are concerned, they seem to enjoy +themselves very well. But I have sometimes wondered if conscience did +not give them occasionally, an unpleasant twinge; and from some things I +have seen, I believe, that with many of them, this is the fact. They may +try to put far from them all thoughts of a judgment to come, yet I +do believe that their slumbers are sometimes disturbed by fearful +forebodings of a just retribution which may, after all, be in store for +them. But whatever trouble of mind they may have, they do not allow it +to interfere with their worldly pleasures, and expensive luxuries. They +have money enough, go when, and where they please, eat the richest food +and drink the choicest wines. In short, if sensual enjoyment was +the chief end of their existence, I do not know how they could act +otherwise. The Abbesses are sometimes allowed to go out, but not unless +they have a pass from one of the priests, and if, at any time, they have +reason to suspect that some one is discontented, they will not allow any +one to go out of the building without a careful attendant. + +My Superior here, as in the White Nunnery, was very kind to me. I +sometimes feared she would share the fate of Father Darity, for she had +a kind heart, and was guilty of many benevolent acts, which, if known, +would have subjected her to very serious consequences. I became so much +attached to her, that my fears for her were always alarmed when she +called me her good little girl, or used any such endearing expression. +The sequel of my story will show that my fears were not unfounded; but +let me not anticipate. Sorrows will thicken fast enough, if we do not +hasten them. + +I lived with this Superior one year before I was consecrated, and it +was, comparatively, a happy season. I was never punished unless it was +to save me from less merciful hands; and then I would be shut up in a +closet, or some such simple thing. The other four girls who occupied the +room with me, were consecrated at the same time. + +The Bishop came to our room early one morning, and took us to the +chapel. At the door we were made to kneel, and then crawl on our hands +and knees to the altar, where sat a man, who we were told, was the +Archbishop. Two little boys came up from under the altar, with the +vesper lamp to burn incense. I suppose they were young Apostles, for +they looked very much like those we had seen at the White Nunnery, and +were dressed in the same manner. The Bishop turned his back, and they +threw incense on his head and shoulders, until he was surrounded by a +cloud of smoke. He bowed his head, smote upon his breast, and repeated +something in latin, or some other language, that we did not understand. +We were told to follow his example, and did so, as nearly as possible. +This ceremony over, the Bishop told us to go up on to the altar on our +knees, and when this feat was performed to his satisfaction, he placed a +crown of thorns upon each of our heads. These crowns were made of +bands of some firm material, which passed over the head and around the +forehead. On the inside thorns were fastened, with the points downward, +so that a very slight pressure would cause them to pierce the skin. This +I suppose is intended to imitate the crown of thorns which our Saviour +wore upon the cross. But what will it avail them to imitate the +crucifixion and the crown of thorns, while justice and mercy are so +entirely neglected? What will it avail to place a crown of thorns upon +a child's head, or to bid her kneel before the image of the Saviour, or +travel up stairs on her knees, while the way of salvation by Christ is +never explained to her; while of real religion, holiness of heart, +and purity of life she is as ignorant as the most benighted, degraded +heathen? Is it rational to suppose that the mere act of repeating +a prayer can heal the wounded spirit, or give peace to a troubled +conscience? Can the most cruel penance remove the sense of guilt, or +whisper hope to the desponding soul? Ah, no! I have tried it long enough +to speak with absolute certainty. For years I practiced these senseless +mummeries, and if there were any virtue, in them, I should, most +certainly have discovered it. But I know full well, and my reader knows +that they cannot satisfy the restless yearnings of the immortal mind. +They may delude the vulgar, but they cannot dispel the darkness of the +tomb, they cannot lead a soul to Christ. + +On leaving the chapel after the ceremony, I found a new Superior, +waiting for us at the door to conduct us to our rooms. We were all very +much surprised at this, but she informed us that our old Superior died +that morning, that she was already buried, and she had come to take her +place. I could not believe this story, for she came to us as usual that +morning, appeared in usual health, though always very pale, and made no +complaint, or exhibited any signs of illness. She told us in her kind +and pleasant way that we were to be consecrated, gave us a few words of +advice, but said nothing about leaving us, and I do not believe she even +thought of such a thing. Little did I think, when she left us, that I +was never to see her again. But so it was. In just two hours and a half +from that time, we were told that she was dead and buried, and another +filled her place! A probable story, truly! I wonder if they thought we +believed it! But whether we did or not, that was all we could ever know +about it. No allusion was ever made to the subject, and nuns are not +allowed to ask questions. However excited we might feel, no information +could we seek as to the manner of her death. Whether she died by +disease, or by the hand of violence; whether her gentle spirit +peacefully winged its way to the bosom of its God, or was hastily driven +forth upon the dagger's point, whether some kind friend closed her eyes +in death, and decently robed her cold limbs for the grave, or whether +torn upon the agonizing rack, whether she is left to moulder away in +some dungeon's gloom, or thrown into the quickly consuming fire, we +could never know. These, and many other questions that might have been +asked, will never be answered until the last great day, when the grave +shall give up its dead, and, the prison disclose its secrets. + +After the consecration we were separated, and only one of the girls +remained with me. The others I never saw again. We were put into a large +room, where were three beds, one large and two small ones. In the large +bed the Superior slept, while I occupied one of the small beds and the +other little nun the other. Our new Superior was very strict, and we +were severely punished for the least trifle--such, for instance, as +making a noise, either in our own room or in the kitchen. We might not +even smile, or make motions to each other, or look in each other's face. +We must keep our eyes on our work or on the floor, in token of humility. +To look a person full in the face was considered an unpardonable act of +boldness. On retiring for the night we were required to lie perfectly +motionless. We might not move a hand or foot, or even a finger. At +twelve the bell rang for prayers, when we must rise, kneel by our beds, +and repeat prayers until the second bell, when we again retired to rest. +On cold winter nights these midnight prayers were a most cruel penance. +It did seem as though I should freeze to death. But live or die, the +prayers must be said, and the Superior was always there to see that we +were not remiss in duty. If she slept at all I am sure it must have +been with one eye open, for she saw everything. But if I obeyed in this +thing, I found it impossible to lie as still as they required; I would +move when I was asleep without knowing it. This of course could not be +allowed, and for many weeks I was strapped down to my bed every night, +until I could sleep without the movement of a muscle. I was very anxious +to do as nearly right as possible, for I thought if they saw that I +strove with all my might to obey, they would perhaps excuse me if I did +fail to conquer impossibilities. In this, however, I was disappointed; +and I at length became weary of trying to do right, for they would +inflict severe punishments for the most trifling accident. In fact, if +I give anything like a correct account of my convent life, it will be +little else than a history of punishments. Pains, trials, prayers, and +mortifications filled up the time. Penance was the rule, to escape it +the exception. + +I neglected at the proper time to state what name was given me when I +took the veil; I may therefore as well say in this place that my convent +name was Sister Agnes. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +CONFESSION AND SORROW OF NO AVAIL. + +It was a part of my business to wait upon the priests in their rooms, +carry them water, clean towels, wine-glasses, or anything they needed. +When entering a priest's room it was customary for a child to knock +twice, an adult four times, and a priest three times. This rule I +was very careful to observe. Whenever a priest opened the door I was +required to courtesy, and fall upon my knees; but if it was opened by +one of the waiters this ceremony was omitted. These waiters were the +boys I have before mentioned, called apostles. It was also a part of my +business to wait upon them, carry them clean frocks, etc. + +One day I was carrying a pitcher of water to one of the priests, and it +being very heavy, it required both my hands and nearly all my strength +to keep it upright. On reaching the door, however, I attempted to hold +it with one hand (as I dare not set it down), while I rapped with the +other. In so doing I chanced to spill a little water on the floor. Just +at that moment the door was opened by the priest himself, and when he +saw the water he was very angry. He caught me by the arm and asked what +punishment he should inflict upon me for being so careless. I attempted +to explain how it happened, told him it was an accident, that I was very +sorry, and would try to be more careful in future. But I might as well +have said that I was glad, and would do so again, for my confession, +sorrow, and promises of future obedience were entirely thrown away, +and might as well have been kept for some one who could appreciate the +feeling that prompted them. + +He immediately led me out of his room, it being on the second floor, and +down into the back yard. Here, in the centre of the gravel walk, was +a grate where they put down coal. This grate he raised and bade me +go down. I obeyed, and descending a few steps found myself in a coal +cellar, the floor being covered with it for some feet in depth. On this +we walked some two rods, perhaps, when the priest stopped, and with a +shovel that stood near cleared away the coal and lifted a trap door. +Through this we descended four or five steps, and proceeded along +a dark, narrow passage, so low we could not stand erect, and the +atmosphere so cold and damp it produced the most uncomfortable +sensations. By the light of a small lantern which the priest carried in +his hand, I was enabled to observe on each side the passage small doors, +a few feet apart, as far as I could see. Some of them were open, others +shut, and the key upon the outside. In each of these doors there was +a small opening, with iron bars across it, through which the prisoner +received food, if allowed to have any. One of these doors I was directed +to enter, which I did with some difficulty, the place being so low, and +I was trembling with cold and fear. The priest crawled in after me +and tied me to the back part of the cell, leaving me there in midnight +darkness, and locking the door after him. I could hear on all sides, as +it seemed to me, the sobs, groans, and shrieks of other prisoners, +some of whom prayed earnestly for death to release them from their +sufferings. + +For twenty-four hours I was left to bear as I best could the pains and +terrors of cold, hunger, darkness, and fatigue. I could neither sit or +lie down, and every one knows how very painful it is to stand upon the +feet a long time, even when the position can be slightly changed; how +much more so when no change can be effected, but the same set of muscles +kept continually on the stretch for the space of twenty-four hours! +Moreover, I knew not how long I should be kept there. The other +prisoners, whose agonizing cries fell upon my ears, were evidently +suffering all the horrors of starvation. Was I to meet a fate like this? +Were those terrible sufferings in reserve for me? How could I endure +them? And then came the thought so often present with me while in the +convent, "If there is a God in heaven, why does He permit such things? +What have I done that I should become the victim of such cruelty? God of +mercy!" I involuntarily exclaimed, "save me from this terrible death." + +My prayer was heard, my petition granted. At the close of twenty-four +hours, the Lady Superior came and released me from my prison, told me to +go to the priest and ask his forgiveness, and then go to my work in the +kitchen. I was very faint and weak from my long fast, and I resolved +never to offend again. I verily thought I could be careful enough to +escape another such punishment. But I had not been in the kitchen one +hour, when I chanced to let a plate fall upon the floor. It was in +no way injured, but I had broken the rules by making a noise, and the +Superior immediately reported me to the priest. He soon appeared with +his bunch of keys and a dark lantern in his hand. He took me by the ear +which he pinched till he brought tears to my eyes, saying, "You don't +try to do well, and I'll make you suffer the consequences." I did not +reply, for I had learned that to answer a priest, or seek to vindicate +myself, or even to explain how things came to be so, was in itself +a crime, to be severely punished. However unjust their treatment, +or whatever my feelings might be, I knew it was better to suffer in +silence. + +Unlocking a door that opened out of the kitchen, and still keeping hold +of my ear, he led me into a dark, gloomy hall, with black walls, and +opening a door on the right, he bade me enter. This room was lighted +by a candle, and around the sides, large iron hooks with heavy chains +attached to them, were driven into the wall. At the back part of the +room, he opened the door, and bade me enter a small closet. He then put +a large iron ring over my head, and pressed it down upon my shoulders. +Heavy weights were placed in my hands, and I was told to stand up +straight, and hold them fifteen minutes. This I could not do. Had my +life depended upon the effort, I could not have stood erect, with those +weights in my hands. The priest, however, did not reprove me. Perhaps he +saw that I exerted all my strength to obey, for he took out his watch, +and slowly counted the minutes as they passed. Ere a third part of the +time expired, he was obliged to release me, for the blood gushed from +my nose and mouth, and I began to feel faint and dizzy. The irons were +removed, and the blood ceased to flow. + +I was then taken to another room, lighted like the other, but it was +damp and cold, and pervaded by a strong, fetid, and very offensive odor. +The floor was of wood, and badly stained with blood. At least, I +thought it was blood, but there was not light enough to enable me to +say positively what it was. In the middle of the room, stood two long +tables, on each of which, lay a corpse, covered with a white cloth. The +priest led me to these tables, removed the cloth and bade me look upon +the face of the dead. They were very much emaciated, and the features, +even in death, bore the impress of terrible suffering. We stood there a +few moments, when he again led me back to his own room. He then asked +me what I thought of what I had seen. Having taken no food for more than +twenty-four hours, I replied, "I am so hungry, I can think of nothing +else." "How would you like to eat those dead bodies?" he asked. "I would +starve, Sir, before I would do it," I replied. "Would you?" said he, +with a slight sneer. "Yes indeed," I exclaimed, striving to suppress my +indignant feelings. "What! eat the flesh of a corpse? You do not mean +it. I would starve to death first!" Frightened at my own temerity in +speaking so boldly, I involuntarily raised my eye. The peculiar smile +upon his face actually chilled my blood with terror. He did not, +however, seem to notice me, but said, "Do not be too sure; I have seen +others quite as sure as you are, yet they were glad to do it to save +their lives; and remember," he added significantly, "you will do it too +if you are not careful." He then ordered me to return to the kitchen. + +At ten o'clock in the morning, the nuns had a slice of bread and cup +of water; but, as I had been fasting, they gave me a bowl of gruel, +composed of indian meal and water, with a little salt. A poor dinner +this, for a hungry person, but I could have no more. At eleven, we went +to mass in the chapel as usual. It was our custom to have mass +every day, and I have been told that this is true of all Romish +establishments. Returning to my work in the kitchen, I again resolved +that I would be so careful, that, in future they should have no cause +for complaint For two days I succeeded. Yes, for two whole days, I +escaped punishment. This I notice as somewhat remarkable, because I was +generally punished every day, and sometimes two or three times in a day. + +On the third morning, I was dusting the furniture in the room occupied +by the priest above mentioned, who treated me so cruelly. The floor +being uncarpeted, in moving the chairs I chanced to make a slight noise, +although I did my best to avoid it. He immediately sprang to his feet, +exclaiming, "You careless dog! What did you do that for?" Then taking me +by the arms, he gave me a hard shake, saying, "Have I not told you that +you would be punished, if you made a noise? But I see how it is with +you; your mind is on the world, and you think more of that, than you do +of the convent. But I shall punish you until you do your duty better." +He concluded this choice speech by telling me to "march down stairs." Of +course, I obeyed, and he followed me, striking me on the head at every +step, with a book he held in his hand. I thought to escape some of the +blows, and hastened along, but all in vain; he kept near me and drove +me before him into the priests sitting-room. He then sent for three more +priests, to decide upon my punishment. A long consultation they held +upon "this serious business," as I sneeringly thought it, but the result +was serious in good earnest, I assure you. For the heinous offence of +making a slight noise I was to have dry peas bound upon my knees, and +then be made to crawl to St. Patrick's church, through an underground +passage, and back again. This church was situated on a hill, a little +more than a quarter of a mile from the convent. Between the two +buildings, an under-ground passage had been constructed, just large +enough to allow a person to crawl through it on the hands and knees. It +was so low, and narrow, that it was impossible either to rise, or turn +around; once within that passage there was no escape, but to go on to +the end. They allowed me five hours to go and return; and to prove that +I had really been there, I was to make a cross, and two straight lines, +with a bit of chalk, upon a black-board that I should find at the end. + +O, the intolerable agonies I endured on that terrible pathway! Any +description that I can give, will fail to convey the least idea of the +misery of those long five hours. It may, perchance, seem a very simple +mode of punishment, but let any one just try it, and they will be +convinced that it was no trifling thing. At the end, I found myself in +a cellar under the church, where there was light enough to enable me to +find the board and the chalk. I made the mark according to orders, and +then looked around for some means of escape. Alas! There was none to be +found. Strong iron bars firmly secured the only door, and a very slight +examination convinced me that my case was utterly hopeless. I then tried +to remove the peas from my swollen, bleeding limbs, but this, too, I +found impossible. They were evidently fastened by a practised hand; and +I was, at length, compelled to believe that I must return as I came. I +did return; but O, how, many times I gave up in despair, and thought +I could go no further! How many times did I stretch myself on the cold +stones, in such bitter agony, that I could have welcomed death as a +friend and deliverer! What would I not have given for one glass of cold +water, or even for a breath of fresh air! My limbs seemed on fire, +and while great drops of perspiration fell from my face, my throat and +tongue were literally parched with thirst. But the end came at last, and +I found the priest waiting for me at the entrance. He seemed very angry, +and said, "You have been gone over your time. There was no need of it; +you could have returned sooner if you had chosen to do so, and now, +I shall punish you again, for being gone so long." At first, his +reproaches grieved me, for I had done my best to please him, and I did +so long for one word of sympathy, it seemed for a moment, as though my +heart would break. Had he then spoken one kind word to me, or manifested +the least compassion for my sufferings, I could have forgiven the past, +and obeyed him with feelings of love and gratitude for the future. Yes, +I would have done anything for that man, if I could have felt that he +had the least pity for me; but when he said he should punish me again, +my heart turned to stone. Every tender emotion vanished, and a fierce +hatred, a burning indignation, and thirst for revenge, took possession +of my soul. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +ALONE WITH THE DEAD. + +The priest removed the peas from my limbs, and led me to a tomb under +the chapel, where he left me, with the consoling assurance that "THE +DEAD WOULD RISE AND EAT ME!" This tomb was a large rectangular room, +with shelves on three sides of it, on which were the coffins of priests +and Superiors who had died in the nunnery. On the floor under the +shelves, were large piles of human bones, dry and white, and some of +them crumbling into dust. In the center of the room was a large tank of +water, several feet in diameter, called St. Joseph's well. It occupied +the whole center of the room leaving a very narrow pathway between that, +and the shelves; so narrow, indeed, that I found it impossible to sit +down, and exceedingly difficult to walk or even stand still. I was +obliged to hold firmly by the shelves, to avoid slipping into the water +which looked dark and deep. The priest said, when he left me, that if I +fell in, I would drown, for no one could take me out. + +O, how my heart thrilled with superstitious terror when I heard the key +turn in the lock, and realized that I was alone with the dead! And that +was not the worst of it. They would rise and eat me! For a few hours +I stood as though paralyzed with fear. A cold perspiration covered my +trembling limbs, as I watched those coffins with the most painful and +serious apprehension. Every moment I expected the fearful catastrophe, +and even wondered which part they would devour first--whether one would +come alone and thus kill me by inches, or whether they would all rise +at once, and quickly make an end of me. I even imagined I could see the +coffins move--that I heard the dead groan and sigh and even the sound of +my own chattering teeth, I fancied to be a movement among the dry bones +that lay at my feet. In the extremity of terror I shrieked aloud. But +this I knew was utterly useless. Who would hear me? Or who would care if +they did hear? I was surrounded by walls that no sound could penetrate, +and if it could, it would fall upon ears deaf to the agonizing cry for +mercy,--upon hearts that feel no sympathy for human woe. + +Some persons may be disposed to smile at this record of absurd and +superstitions fear. But to me it was no laughing affair. Had not the +priest said that the dead would rise and eat me? And did I not firmly +believe that what he said was true? What! A priest tell a falsehood? +Impossible. I thought it could not be; yet as hour after hour passed +away, and no harm came to me, I began to exercise my reason a little, +and very soon came to the conclusion that the priests are not the +immaculate, infallible beings I had been taught to believe. Cruel +and hard hearted, I knew them to be, but I did not suspect them of +falsehood. Hitherto I had supposed it was impossible for them to do +wrong, or to err in judgement; all their cruel acts being done for the +benefit of the soul, which in some inexplicable way was to be benefited +by the sufferings of the body. Now, however, I began to question the +truth of many things I had seen and heard, and ere long I lost all faith +in them, or in the terrible system of bigotry, cruelty and fraud, which +they call religion. + +As the hours passed by and my fears vanished before the calm light of +reason, I gradually gained sufficient courage to enable me to examine +the tomb, thinking that I might perchance discover the body of my old +Superior. For this purpose I accordingly commenced the circuit of the +room, holding on by the shelves, and making my way slowly onward. One +coffin I succeeded in opening, but the sight of the corpse so frightened +me, I did not dare to open another. The room being brilliantly lighted +with two large spermaceti candles at one end, and a gas burner at the +other, I was enabled to see every feature distinctly. + +One of the nuns informed me that none but priests and Superiors are laid +in that tomb. When these die in full communion with the church, the body +is embalmed, and placed here, but it sometimes happens that a priest or +Superior is found in the convent who does not believe all that is taught +by the church of Rome. They desire to investigate the subject--to seek +for more light--more knowledge of the way of salvation by Christ. This, +with the Romanists is a great sin, and the poor hapless victim is at +once placed under punishment. If they die in this condition, their +bodies are cast out as heretics, but if they confess and receive +absolution, they are placed in the tomb, but not embalmed. The flesh, of +course, decays, and then the bones are thrown under the shelves. Never +shall I forget how frightful those bones appeared to me, or the cold +shudder that thrilled my frame at the sight of the numerous human skulls +that lay scattered around. + +Twenty-four hours I spent in this abode of the dead, without rest or +sleep. The attempt to obtain either would have been sheer madness, for +the least mis-step, the least unguarded motion, or a slight relaxation +of the firm grasp by which I held on to the shelves, would have plunged +me headlong into the dark water, from which escape would have been +impossible. For thirty hours I had not tasted food, and my limbs, +mangled and badly swollen, were so stiff with long standing, that, when +allowed to leave the tomb, I could hardly step. When the priest came to +let me out, he seemed to think it necessary to say something to cover +his attempt to deceive and frighten me, but he only made a bad matter +worse. He said that after he left me, he thought he would try me once +more, and see if I would not do my duty better; he had, therefore, +WILLED THE DEAD NOT TO EAT ME! AND THEY, OBEDIENT TO HIS WILL, WERE +COMPELLED TO LET ME ALONE! I did not reply to this absurd declaration, +lest I should say something I ought not, and again incur his +displeasure. Indeed, I was not expected to say anything, unless I +returned thanks for his unparalleled kindness, and I was not hypocrite +enough for that. I suppose he thought I believed all he said, but he was +greatly mistaken. If I began to doubt his word while in the tomb, this +ridiculous pretence only served to add contempt to unbelief, and from +that time I regarded him as a deceiver, and a vile, unscrupulous, +hypocritical pretender. + +It was with the greatest difficulty that I again made my way to the +kitchen. I was never very strong, even when allowed my regular meals, +for the quantity, was altogether insufficient, to satisfy the demands +of nature; and now I had been so long without anything to eat, I was +so weak, and my limbs so stiff and swollen, I could hardly stand. I +managed, however, to reach the kitchen, when I was immediately seated at +the table and presented with a bowl of gruel. O, what a luxury it seemed +to me, and how eagerly did I partake of it! It was soon gone, and I +looked around for a further supply. Another nun, who sat at the table +with me, with a bowl of gruel before her, noticed my disappointment when +I saw that I was to have no more. She was a stranger to me, and so pale +and emaciated she looked more like a corpse than a living person. She +had tasted a little of her gruel, but her stomach was too weak to retain +it, and as soon as the Superior left us she took it up and poured the +whole into my bowl, making at the same time a gesture that gave me to +understand that it was of no use to her, and she wished me to eat it I +did not wait for a second invitation, and she seemed pleased to see me +accept it so readily. We dared not speak, but we had no difficulty in +understanding each other. + +I had but just finished my gruel when the Superior came back and desired +me to go up stairs and help tie a mad nun. I think she did this simply +for the purpose of giving me a quiet lesson in convent life, and showing +me the consequences of resistance or disobedience. She must have known +that I was altogether incapable of giving the assistance she pretended +to ask. But I followed her as fast as possible, and when she saw how +difficult it was for me to get up stairs, she walked slowly and gave me +all the time I wished for. She led me into a small room and closed the +door. There I beheld a scene that called forth my warmest sympathy, +and at the same time excited feelings of indignation that will never be +subdued while reason retains her throne. In the center of the room sat +a young girl, who could not have been more than sixteen years old; and a +face and form of such perfect symmetry, such surpassing beauty, I never +saw. She was divested of all her clothing except one under-garment, and +her hands and feet securely tied to the chair on which she sat. A priest +stood beside her, and as we entered he bade us assist him in removing +the beds from the bedstead. They then took the nun from her chair and +laid her on the bedcord. They desired me to assist them, but my heart +failed me. I could not do it, for I was sure they were about to kill +her; and as I gazed upon those calm, expressive features, so pale and +sad, yet so perfectly beautiful, I felt that it would be sacrilege for +me to raise my hand against nature's holiest and most exquisite work. I +therefore assured them that I was too weak to render the assistance they +required. At first they attempted to compel me to do it; but, finding +that I was really very weak, and unwilling to use what strength I had, +they at length permitted me to stand aside. When they extended the poor +girl on the cord, she said, very quietly, "I am not mad, and you know +that I am not." To this no answer was given, but they calmly proceeded +with their fiendish work. One of them tied her feet, while the other +fastened a rope across her neck in such a way that if she attempted to +raise her head it would strangle her. The rope was then fastened under +the bedcord, and two or three times over her person. Her arms were +extended, and fastened in the same way. As she lay thus, like a lamb +bound for the sacrifice, she looked up at her tormentors and said, "Will +the Lord permit me to die in this cruel way?" The priest immediately +exclaimed, in an angry tone, "Stop your talk, you mad woman!" and +turning to me, he bade me go back to the kitchen. It is probable he saw +the impression on my mind was not just what they desired, therefore he +hurried me away. + +All this time the poor doomed nun submitted quietly to her fate. I +suppose she thought it useless, yea, worse than useless, to resist; for +any effort she might make to escape would only provoke them, and they +would torment her the more. I presume she thought her last hour had +come, and the sooner she was out of her misery the better. As for me, +my heart was so filled with terror, anguish, and pity for her, I could +hardly obey the command to leave the room. + +I attempted to descend the stairs, but was obliged to go very slowly on +account of the stiffness of my limbs, and before I reached the bottom of +the first flight the priest and the Superior came out into the hall. I +heard them whispering together, and I paused to listen. This, I know, +was wrong; but I could not help it, and I was so excited I did not +realize what I was doing. My anxiety for that girl overpowered every +other feeling. At first I could only hear the sound of their voices; but +soon they spoke more distinctly, and I heard the words. "What shall we +do with her? she will never confess." In an audible tone of voice, the +other replied, "We had better finish her." How those words thrilled my +soul! I knew well enough that they designed "to finish her," but to hear +the purpose announced so coolly, it was horrible. Was there no way that +I could save her? Must I stand there, and know that a fellow-creature +was being murdered, that a young girl like myself, in all the freshness +of youth and the fullness of health, was to be cut off in the very +prime of life and numbered with the dead; hurried out of existence and +plunged, unwept, unlamented, into darkness and silence? She had friends, +undoubtedly, but they would never be allowed to know her sad fate, never +shed a tear upon her grave! I could not endure the thought. I felt that +if I lingered there another moment I should be in danger of madness +myself; for I could not help her. I could not prevent the consummation +of their cruel purpose; I therefore hastened away, and this was the last +I ever heard of that poor nun. I had never seen her before, and as I did +not see her clothes, I could not even tell whether she belonged to our +nunnery or not. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +THE SICK NUN. + +On my return to the kitchen I found the sick nun sitting as we left her. +She asked me, by signs, if we were alone. I told her she need not fear +to speak, for the Superior was two flights of stairs above, and no one +else was near. "Are they all away?" she whispered. I assured her that +we were quite alone, that she had nothing to fear. She then informed me +that she had been nine days under punishment, that when taken from the +cell she could not stand or speak, and she was still too weak to walk +without assistance. "O!" said she, and the big tears rolled over her +cheeks as she said it, "I have not a friend in the world. You do not +know how my heart longs for love, for sympathy and kindness." I asked if +she had not parents, or friends, in the world. She replied, "I was born +in this convent, and know no world but this. You see," she continued, +with a sad smile, "what kind of friends I have here. O, if I HAD A +FRIEND, if I could feel that one human being cares for me, I should get +better. But it is so long since I heard a kind word--" a sob choked her +utterance. I told her I would be a friend to her as far as I could. She +thanked me; said she was well aware of the difficulties that lay in my +way, for every expression of sympathy or kind feeling between the nuns +was strictly forbidden, and if caught in anything of the kind a severe +correction would follow. "But," said she "if you will give me a kind +look sometimes, whenever you can do so with safety, it will be worth a +great deal to me. You do not know the value of a kind look to a breaking +heart." + +She wept so bitterly, I feared it would injure her health, and to divert +her mind, I told her where I was born; spoke of my childhood, and of +my life at the White Nunnery. She wiped away her tears, and replied, "I +know all about it. I have heard the priests talk about you, and they say +that your father is yet living, that your mother was a firm protestant, +and that it will be hard for them to beat Catholicism into you. But I +do not know how you came in that nunnery. Who put you there?" I told her +that I was placed there by my father, when only six years old. "Is +it possible?" she exclaimed, and then added passionately, "Curse your +father for it." After a moments silence, she continued, "Yes, child; +you have indeed cause to curse your father, and the day when you first +entered the convent; but you do not suffer as much as you would if you +had been born here, and were entirely dependent on them. They fear +that your friends may sometime look after you; and, in case they are +compelled to grant them an interview, they would wish them to find you +in good health and contented; but if you had no influential friends +outside the convent, you would find yourself much worse off than you are +now." + +She then said she wished she could get some of the brandy from the +cellar. Her stomach was so weak from long fasting, it would retain +neither food or drink, and she thought the brandy would give it +strength. She asked if I could get it for her. The idea frightened me at +first, for I knew that if caught in doing it, I should be most cruelly +punished, yet my sympathy for her at length overcame my fears, and I +resolved to try, whatever might be the result. I accordingly went up +stairs, ostensibly, to see if the Superior wanted me, but really, to +find out where she was, and whether she would be likely to come down, +before I could have time to carry out my plan. I trembled a little, +for I knew that I was guilty of a great misdemeanor in thus boldly +presenting myself to ask if I was wanted; but I thought it no very great +sin to pretend that I thought she called me, for I was sure my motives +were good, whatever they might think of them. I had been taught that +"the end sanctifies the means," and I thought I should not be too hardly +judged by the great searcher of hearts, if, for once, I applied it in my +own way. + +I knocked gently at the door I had left but a few moments before. It was +opened by the Superior, but she immediately stepped out, and closed it +again, so that I had no opportunity to see what was passing within. +She sternly bade me return to the kitchen, and stay there till she came +down; a command I was quite ready to obey. In the kitchen there was a +small cupboard, called the key cupboard, in which they kept keys of all +sizes belonging to the establishment. They were hung on hooks, each one +being marked with the name of the place to which it belonged. It was +easy for me to find the key to the cellar, and having obtained it, I +opened another cupboard filled with bottles and vials, where I selected +one that held half a pint, placed it in a large pitcher, and hastened +down stairs. I soon found a cask marked "brandy," turned the faucet, and +filled the bottle. But my heart beat violently, and my hand trembled +so that I could not hold it steady, and some of it ran over into the +pitcher. It was well for me that I took this precaution, for if I had +spilt it on the stone floor of the cellar, I should have been detected +at once. I ran up stairs as quickly as possible, and made her drink what +I had in the pitcher, though there was more of it than I should have +given her under other circumstances; but I did not know what to do +with it. If I put it in the fire, or in the sink, I thought they would +certainly smell it, and, there was no other place, for I was not allowed +to go out of doors. I then replaced the key, washed up my pitcher, and +secreted the bottle of brandy in the waist of the nun's dress. This +I could easily do, their dresses being made with a loose waist, and a +large cape worn over them. I then began to devise some way to destroy +the scent in the room. I could smell it very distinctly, and I knew that +the Superior would notice it at once. After trying various expedients to +no purpose, I at length remembered that I had once seen a dry rag set on +fire for a similar purpose. I therefore took one of the cloths from the +sink, and set it on fire, let it burn a moment, and threw it under the +caldron. + +I was just beginning to congratulate myself on my success, when I saw +that the nun appeared insensible, and about to fall from her chair. I +caught her in my arms, and leaned her back in the chair, but I did not +dare to lay her on the bed, without permission, even if I had strength +to do it. I could only draw her chair to the side of the room, put a +stick of wood under it, and let her head rest against the wall. I was +very much frightened, and for a moment, thought she was dead. She was +pale as a corpse, her eyes closed, and her mouth wide open. Had I really +killed her? What if the Superior should find her thus? I soon found that +she was not dead, for her heart beat regularly, and I began to hope she +would get over it before any one came in. But just as the thought passed +my mind, the door opened and the Superior appeared. Her first words +were, "What have you been burning? What smells so?" I told her there was +a cloth about the sink that I thought unfit for use, and I put it +under the caldron. She then turned towards the nun and asked if she had +fainted. I told her that I did not know, but I thought she was asleep, +and if she wished me to awaken, and assist her to bed, I would do so. To +this she consented, and immediately went up stairs again. Glad as I was +of this permission, I still doubted my ability to do it alone, for I had +little, very little strength; yet I resolved to do my best. It was long, +however, before I could arouse her, or make her comprehend what I said, +so entirely were her senses stupified with the brandy. When at length I +succeeded in getting her upon her feet, she said she was sure she could +not walk; but I encouraged her to help herself as much as possible, told +her that I wished to get her away before any one came in, or we would +be certainly found out and punished. This suggestion awakened her fears, +and I at length succeeded in assisting her to bed. She was soon in a +sound sleep, and I thought my troubles for that time were over. But +I was mistaken. In my fright, I had quite forgotten the brandy in her +dress. Somehow the bottle was cracked, and while she slept, the brandy +ran over her clothes. The Superior saw it, and asked how she obtained +it. Too noble minded to expose me, she said she drew it herself. I +heard the Superior talking to a priest about it, and I thought they were +preparing to punish her. I did not know what she had told them, but I +did not think she would expose me, and I feared, if they punished her +again, she would die in their hands. + +I therefore went to the Superior and told her the truth about it, for +I thought a candid confession on my part might, perchance, procure +forgiveness for the nun, if not for myself. But no; they punished us +both; the nun for telling the lie, and me for getting the brandy. For +two hours they made me stand with a crown of thorns on my head, while +they alternately employed themselves in burning me with hot irons, +pinching, and piercing me with needles, pulling my hair, and striking +me with sticks. All this I bore very well, for I was hurt just enough to +make me angry. + +When I returned to the kitchen again, the nun was sitting there alone. +She shook her head at me, and by her gestures gave me to understand that +some one was listening. She afterwards informed me that the Superior was +watching us, to see if we would speak to each other when we met. I do +not know how they punished her, but I heard a priest say that she would +die if she suffered much more. Perhaps they thought the loss of that +precious bottle of brandy was punishment enough. But I was glad I got +it for her, for she had one good dose of it, and it did her good; +her stomach was stronger, her appetite better, and in a few weeks she +regained her usual health. + +One day, while at work as usual, I was called up stairs with the other +nuns to see one die. She lay upon the bed, and looked pale and thin, but +I could see no signs of immediate dissolution. Her voice was strong, and +respiration perfectly natural, the nuns were all assembled in her room +to see her die. Beside her stood a priest, earnestly exhorting her to +confess her sins to him, and threatening her with eternal punishment if +she refused. But she replied, "No, I will not confess to you. If, as +you say, I am really dying, it is with my God I have to do; to him alone +will I confess, for he alone can save." "If you do not confess to me," +exclaimed the priest, "I will give you up to the devil." "Well," said +she, "I stand in no fear of a worse devil than you are, and I am quite +willing to leave you at any time, and try any other place; even hell +itself cannot be worse. I cannot suffer more there than I have here." +"Daughter," exclaimed the priest, with affected sympathy, "must I give +you up? How can I see you go down to perdition? It is not yet too late. +Confess your sins and repent." "I have already confessed my sins to God, +and I shall confess to no one else. He alone can save me." Her manner of +saying this was solemn but very decided. The priest saw that she would +not yield to his wishes, and raising his voice, he exclaimed, "Then let +the devil take you." + +Immediately the door opened, and a figure representing the Roman +Catholic idea of his Satanic Majesty entered the room. He was very +black, and covered with long hair, probably the skin of some wild +animal. He had two long white tusks, two horns on his head, a large +cloven foot, and a long tail that he drew after him on the floor. He +looked so frightful, and recalled to my mind so vividly the figure that +I saw at the White Nunnery, that I was very much frightened; still I did +not believe it was really a supernatural being. I suspected that it was +one of the priests dressed up in that way to frighten us, and I now +know that such was the fact. But what of that? We all feared the priests +quite as much as we should the Evil One himself, even if he should come +to us in bodily shape, as they pretended he had done. Most of the nuns +were very much frightened when they saw that figure walk up to the +bedside, taking good care, however, to avoid the priest, he being so +very holy it was impossible for an evil spirit to go near or even look +at him. + +The priest then ordered us to return to the kitchen, for said he, "The +devil has come for this nun's soul, and will take it with him," As we +left the room I looked around on my companions and wondered if they +believed this absurd story. I longed to ask them what they thought of +it, but this was not allowed. All interchange of thought or feeling +being strictly forbidden, we never ventured to speak without permission +when so many of us were present, for some one was sure to tell of it if +the least rule was broken. + +I was somewhat surprised at first that we were all sent to the kitchen, +as but few of us were employed there; but we were soon called back again +to look at the corpse. I was inexpressibly shocked at this summons, for +I had not supposed it possible for her to die so soon. But she was dead; +and that was all we could ever know about it. As we stood around the +bed, the priest said she was an example of those in the world called +heretics; that her soul was in misery, and would remain so forever; no +masses or prayers could avail her then, for she could never be prayed +out of hell. Sins like hers could never be forgiven. + +I continued to work in the kitchen as usual for many months after this +occurrence, and for a few weeks the sick nun was there a great part of +the time. Whenever we were alone, and sure that no one was near, we used +to converse together, and a great comfort it was to us both. I felt that +I had found in her one real friend, to sympathize with me in my grievous +trials, and with whom I could sometimes hold communication without fear +of betrayal. I had proved her, and found her faithful, therefore I +did not fear to trust her. No one can imagine, unless they know by +experience, how much pleasure we enjoyed in the few stolen moments that +we spent together. + +I shall never forget the last conversation I had with her. She came and +sat down where I was assisting another nun to finish a mat. She asked +us if we knew what was going on in the house. "As I came from my room," +said she, "I saw the priests and Superiors running along the halls, and +they appeared so much excited, I thought something must be wrong. As +they passed me, they told me to go to the kitchen, and stay there. What +does it all mean?" Of course we did not know, for we had neither seen or +heard anything unusual. "Well," said she, "they are all so much engaged +up stairs, we can talk a little and not be overheard. I want to know +something about the people in the world. Are they really cruel and +cold-hearted, as the priests say they are? When you was in the world +were they unkind to you?" "On the contrary," I replied, "I would gladly +return to them again if I could get away from the convent. I should +not be treated any worse, at all events, and I shall embrace the-first +opportunity to go back to the world." "That is what I have always +thought since I was old enough to think at all," said she, "and I have +resolved a great many times to get away if possible. I suppose they tell +us about the cruelty in the world just to frighten us, and prevent us +from trying to escape. I am so weak now I do not suppose I could walk +out of Montreal even if I should leave the convent. But if I ever get +strong enough, I shall certainly try to escape from this horrible place. +O, I could tell you things about this convent that would curdle the +blood in your veins." + +The other nun said that she had been once in the world, and every one +was kind to her. "I shall try to get out again, some day," said she, +"but we must keep our resolutions to ourselves, for there is no one +here, that we can trust. Those whom we think our best friends will +betray us, if we give them a chance. I do believe that some of them +delight in getting us punished." + +The sick nun said, "I have never exposed any one and I never will. I +have the secrets of a great many hid in my breast, that nothing shall +ever extort from me." Here she was interrupted, and soon left the room. +I never saw her again. Whether she was under punishment, or was so +fortunate as to make her escape, I do not know. As no questions could +be asked, it was very little we could know of each other. If one of our +number escaped, the fact was carefully concealed from the rest, and if +she was caught and brought back, no one ever knew it, except those who +had charge of her. The other nun who worked in the room with me, watched +me very closely. Having heard me declare my intention to leave the first +opportunity, she determined to go with me if possible. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +THE JOY OF FREEDOM. + +At length the long sought opportunity arrived, and with the most extatic +joy we fled from the nunnery. The girl I have before mentioned, who +wished to go with me, and another nun, with whom I had no acquaintance, +were left in the kitchen to assist me, in taking charge of the cooking, +while the rest of the people were at mass in the chapel. A chance +presented for us to get away, and we all fled together, leaving the +cooking to take care of itself. We were assisted to get out of the yard, +but how, or by whom, I can never reveal. Death, in its most terrible +form would be the punishment for such an act of kindness, and knowing +this, it would be the basest ingratitude for me to name the individual +who so kindly assisted us in our perilous undertaking. + +How well do I remember the emotions that thrilled my soul when I found +myself safely outside the walls of that fearful prison! The joy of +freedom--the hope of ultimate success--the fear of being overtaken, +and dragged back to misery or death, were considerations sufficiently +exciting to agitate our spirits, and lend fleetness to our steps. With +trembling limbs, and throbbing hearts we fled towards the St. Lawrence +river. Following the tow-path, we hastened on for a few miles, when one +of the nuns became exhausted, and said she could go no further. She +was very weak when we started, and the excitement and fatigue produced +serious illness. What should we do with her? We could not take her along +with us, and if we stopped with her, we might all be taken and carried +back. Must we leave her by the way-side? It was a fearful alternative, +but what else could we do? With sad hearts we took her to a shed near +by, and there we left her to her fate, whatever it might be; perchance +to die there alone, or what was still worse, be carried back to the +convent. It was indeed, a sorrowful parting, and we wept bitter tears +together, as we bade her a last farewell. I never saw or heard from her +again. + +We pursued our way along the tow-path for a short distance, when the +canal boat came along. We asked permission to go upon the boat, and the +captain kindly granted it, but desired us to be very still. He carried +us twelve miles, and then proposed to leave us, as he exposed himself to +a heavy fine by carrying us without a pass, and unattended by a priest +or Superior. We begged him to take us as far as he went with the boat, +and frankly told him our situation. Having no money to offer, we could +only cast ourselves on his mercy, and implore his pity and assistance. +He consented to take us as far as the village of Beauharnois, and there +he left us. He did not dare take us further, lest some one might be +watching for us, and find us on his boat. + +It was five o'clock in the morning when we left the boat, but it was +a Roman Catholic village, and we did not dare to stop. All that day we +pursued our way without food or drink, and at night we were tired and +hungry. Arriving at a small village, we ventured to stop at the most +respectable looking house, and asked the woman if she could keep us over +night. She looked at us very attentively and said she could not. We did +not dare to call again, for we knew that we were surrounded by those who +would think they were doing a good work to deliver us up to the priests. +Darkness came over the earth, but still weary and sleepy as we were, we +pursued our lonely way. I will not repeat our bitter reflections upon a +cold hearted world, but the reader will readily imagine what they were. + +Late in the evening, we came to an old barn. I think it must have +been four or five miles from the village. There was no house, or other +building near it, and as no person was in sight, we ventured to enter. +Here, to our great joy, we found a quantity of clean straw, with which +we soon prepared a comfortable bed, where we could enjoy the luxury of +repose. We slept quietly through the night, and at the early dawn awoke, +refreshed and encouraged, but O, so hungry! Gladly would we have eaten +anything in the shape of food, but nothing could we find. + +The morning star was yet shining brightly above us, as we again started +on our journey. At length our hearts were cheered by the sight of a +village. The first house we came to stood at some distance from the +other buildings, and we saw two women in a yard milking cows. We called +at the door, and asked the lady for some milk. "O yes," said she, with +a sweet smile, "come in, and rest awhile, and you shall have all you +want." She thought we were Sisters of Charity, for they often go about +visiting the sick, and praying with the people. It is considered a very +meritorious act to render them assistance, and speed them on their way; +but to help a runaway nun is to commit a crime of sufficient magnitude +to draw down the anathema of the church. Therefore, while we carefully +concealed our real character, we gratefully accepted the aid we so much +needed, but which, we were sure, would have been withheld had she known +to whom it was offered. After waiting till the cows were milked, and +she had finished her own breakfast, she filled a large earthen pan +with bread and milk, gave each of us a spoon, and we ate as much as +we wished. As we arose to depart, she gave each of us a large piece of +bread to carry with us, and asked us to pray with her. We accordingly +knelt in prayer; implored heaven's blessing on her household, and then +took our leave of this kind lady, never more to meet her on earth; but +she will never be forgotten. + +That day we traveled a long distance, at least, so it seemed to us. When +nearly overcome with fatigue, we saw from the tow-path an island in the +river, and upon it a small house. Near the shore a man stood beside a +canoe. We made signs to him to come to us, and he immediately sprang +into his canoe and came over. We asked him to take us to the island, and +he cheerfully granted our request, but said we must sit very still, or +we would find ourselves in the water. I did not wonder he thought so, +for the canoe was very small, and the weight of three persons sank it +almost even with the surface of the river, while the least motion would +cause it to roll from side to side, so that we really felt that we were +in danger of a very uncomfortable bath if nothing worse. + +We landed safely, however, and were kindly welcomed by the Indian +family in the house. Six squaws were sitting on the floor, some of them +smoking, others making shoes and baskets. They were very gayly dressed, +their skirts handsomely embroidered with beads and silk of various +colors. One of the girls seemed very intelligent, and conversed fluently +in the English language which she spoke correctly. But she did not +look at all like an Indian, having red hair and a lighter skin than the +others. She was the only one in the family that I could converse with, +as the rest of them spoke only their native dialect; but the nun who was +with me could speak both French and Indian. + +They treated us with great kindness, gave us food, and invited in to +stay and live with them; said we could be very happy there, and to +induce us to remain, they informed us that the village we saw on the +other side of the river, called St. Regis, was inhabited by Indians, but +they were all Roman Catholics. They had a priest, and a church where +we could go to Mass every Sabbath. Little did they imagine that we were +fleeing for life from the Romish priests; that so far from being an +inducement to remain with them, this information was the very thing to +send us on our way with all possible speed. We did not dare to stay, +for I knew full well that if any one who had seen us went to confession, +they would be obliged to give information of our movements; and if one +priest heard of us, he would immediately telegraph to all the priests +in the United States and Canada, and we should be watched on every side. +Escape would then be nearly impossible, therefore we gently, but firmly +refused to accept the hospitality of these good people, and hastened to +bid them farewell. + +I asked the girl how far it was to the United States. She said it was +two miles to Hogansburg, and that was in the States. We then asked the +man to take us in his canoe to the village of St. Regis on the other +side of the river. He consented, but, I thought, with some reluctance, +and before he allowed us to land, he conversed some minutes with the +Indians who met him on the shore. We could not hear what they said, but +my fears were at once awakened. I thought they suspected us, and if so, +we were lost. But the man came back at length, and, assisted us from the +boat. If he had any suspicions he kept them to himself. + +Soon after we reached the shore I met a man, of whom I enquired when +a boat would start for Hogansburg. He gazed at us a moment, and then +pointed to five boats out in the river, and said those were the last +to go that day. They were then ready to start, and waited only for the +tow-boat to take them along. But they were so far away we could not get +to them, even if we dared risk ourselves among so many passengers. What +could we do? To stay there over night, was not to be thought of for a +moment. We were sure to be taken, and carried back, if we ventured to +try it. Yet there was but one alternative; either remain there till the +next day, or try to get a passage on the tow-boat. It did not take me a +long time to decide for myself, and I told the nun that I should go on, +if the captain would take me! "What! go on the tow-boat!" she exclaimed, +"There are no ladies on that boat, and I do not like to go with so +many men." "I am not afraid of the men," I replied, "if they are not +Romanists, and I am resolved to go." "Do not leave me," she cried, with +streaming tears. "I am sure we can get along better if we keep together, +but I dare not go on the boat." "And I dare not stay here," said I, +and so we parted. I to pursue my solitary way, she to go, I know not +whither. I gave her the parting hand, and have never heard from her +since, but I hope she succeeded better than I did, in her efforts to +escape. + +I went directly to the captain of the boat and asked him if he could +carry me to the States. He said he should go as far as Ogdensburg, and +would carry me there, if I wished; or he could set me off at some place +where he stopped for wood and water. When I told him I had no money to +pay him, he smiled, and asked if I was a run-a-way. I frankly confessed +that I was, for I thought it was better for me to tell the truth than +to try to deceive. "Well," said the captain, "I will not betray you; but +you had better go to my state-room and stay there." I thanked him, but +said I would rather stay where I was. He then gave me the key to his +room, and advised me to go in and lock the door, "for," said he, "we are +not accustomed to have ladies in this boat, and the men may annoy you. +You will find it more pleasant and comfortable to stay there alone." +Truly grateful for his kindness, and happy to escape from the gaze of +the men, I followed his direction; nor did I leave the room again until +I left the boat. The captain brought me my meals, but did not attempt to +enter the room. There was a small window with a spring on the inside; he +would come and tap on the window, and ask me to raise it, when he would +hand me a waiter on which he had placed a variety of refreshments, and +immediately retire. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND. + +That night and the next day I suffered all the horrors of sea-sickness; +and those who have known by experience how completely it prostrates the +energies of mind and body, can imagine how I felt on leaving the boat at +night. The kind-hearted captain set me on shore at a place where he left +coal and lumber, a short distance from the village of Ogdensburg. He +gave me twelve and half cents, and expressed regret that he could do no +more for me. He said he could not direct me to a lodging for the night, +being a stranger in the place, and this the first time he had been on +that route. Should this narrative chance to meet his eye, let him know +that his kind and delicate attentions to a stranger in distress, are and +ever will be remembered with the gratitude they so richly merit. It +was with evident reluctance that he left me to make my way onward as I +could. + +And now, reader, imagine, if you can, my situation. A stranger in a +strange land, and comparatively a stranger to the whole world--alone in +the darkness of night, not knowing where to seek a shelter or a place +to lay my head; exhausted with sea-sickness until I felt more dead than +alive, it did seem as though it would be a luxury to lie down and die. +My stockings and shoes were all worn out with so much walking, my feet +sore, swollen, and bleeding, and my limbs so stiff and lame that it was +only by the greatest effort that I could step at all. So extreme were my +sufferings, that I stopped more than once before I reached the village, +cast myself upon the cold ground, and thought I could go no further. +Not even the idea of being run over in the darkness by some passing +traveller, had power to keep me on my feet. Then I would rest awhile, +and resolve to try again; and so I hobbled onward. It seemed an age of +misery before I came to any house; but at length my spirits revived +at the sight of brilliant lights through the windows, and the sound of +cheerful voices that fell upon my ear. + +And now I thought my troubles over for that night at least. But no, when +I asked permission to stay over night, it was coldly refused. Again +and again I called at houses where the people seemed to enjoy all the +comforts and even the luxuries of life; but their comforts were for +themselves and not for a toil-worn traveller like me. This I was made to +understand in no gentle manner; and some of those I called upon were not +very particular in the choice of language. + +By this time my feet were dreadfully swollen, and O! so sore and stiff, +that every step produced the most intense agony. Is it strange that I +felt as though life was hardly worth preserving? I resolved to call at +one house more, and if again refused, to lie down by the wayside and +die. I accordingly entered the village hotel and asked for the landlady. +The bar-tender gave me a suspicious glance that made me tremble, and +asked my business. I told him my business was with the landlady and no +other person. He left the room a moment, and then conducted me to her +chamber. + +As I entered a lady came forward to meet me, and the pleasant expression +of her countenance at once won my confidence. She gave me a cordial +welcome, saying, with a smile, as she led me to a seat, "I guess, my +dear, you are a run-a-way, are you not?" I confessed that it was even +so; that I had fled from priestly cruelty, had travelled as far as I +could, and now, weary, sick, and faint from long fasting, I had ventured +to cast myself upon her mercy. "Will you protect me?" I asked, "and are +you a Roman Catholic?" "No," she replied, "I am not a Roman Catholic, +and I will protect you. You seem to have suffered much, and are quite +exhausted. But you will find a friend in me. I will not betray you, for +I dislike the priests and the convents as much as you do." + +She then called her little girl, and ordered a fire kindled in another +chamber, saying she did not wish her servants to see me. The child +soon returned, when the lady herself conducted me to a large, pleasant +bed-room, handsomely furnished with every convenience, and a fire in +the grate. She gave me a seat in a large easy-chair before the fire, and +went out, locking the door after her. In a short time she returned with +warm water for a bath, and with her own hands gave me all the assistance +needed. As I related the incidents of the day, she expressed much +sympathy for my sufferings, and said she was glad I had come to her. +She gave, me a cordial, and then brought me a cup of tea and other +refreshments, of which I made a hearty supper. She would not allow me to +eat all I wished; but when I had taken as much as was good for me, +she bathed my feet with a healing wash, and assisted me to bed. O, the +luxury of that soft and comfortable bed! No one can realize with what a +keen sense of enjoyment I laid my head upon those downy pillows, unless +they have suffered as I did, and known by experience the sweetness of +repose after excessive toil. + +All that night this good lady sat beside my bed, and kept my feet wet in +order to reduce the swelling. I was little inclined to sleep, and at her +request related some of the events of my convent life. While doing this, +I hardly knew what to make of this curious woman. Sometimes she would +weep, and then she would swear like any pirate. I was surprised and +somewhat afraid of her, she seemed so strange and used such peculiar +language. She understood my feelings at once, and immediately said, "You +need not be afraid of me, for I have a kind heart, if I do use wicked +words. I cannot help swearing when I think about the priests, monsters +of iniquity that they are; what fearful crimes they do commit under the +cloak of religion! O, if the people of this land could but see their +real character, they would rise en masse and drive them from the +country, whose liberties they will, if possible, destroy. For myself I +have good cause to hate them. Shall I tell you my story, dear?" I begged +her to do so, which she did, as follows: + +"I once had a sister, young, talented, beautiful, amiable and +affectionate. She was the pride of all our family, the idol of our +souls. She wished for an education, and we gladly granted her request. +In our zeal to serve her, we resolved to give her the very best +advantages, and so we sent her to a Romish school. It was a seminary for +young ladies taught by nuns, and was the most popular one in that +part of the country. My father, like many other parents who knew such +establishments only by report, had not the least idea of its true +character. But deluded by the supposed sanctity of the place, he was +happy in the thought that he had left his darling where it was said that +'science and religion go hand in hand.' For a season, all went on well. +She wrote to us that she was pleased with the school, and wished to +remain. We thought her hand writing wonderfully improved, and eagerly +looked forward to the time when she would return to us a finished +scholar, as well as an accomplished lady. But those pleasant prospects +were soon overcast. Too soon, our happy, bounding hearts were hushed by +unspeakable grief, and our brilliant anticipations were dissipated in +the chamber of death. In their place came those solemn realities, the +shroud, the coffin, the hearse and the tomb." + +"Did she die?" I asked. "Yes," replied the lady, as she wiped away the +fast flowing tears; "Yes, she died. I believe she was poisoned, but we +could do nothing; we had no proof." She had been long at school before we +suspected the deception that was practised upon us. But at length I went +with my other sister to see her, and the Superior informed us that she +was ill, and could not see us. We proposed going to her room, but to our +great surprise were assured that such a thing could not be allowed. +We left with sad hearts, and soon called again. I cannot describe my +feelings when we were coldly informed that she did not wish to see us. +What could it mean? Surely something must be wrong; and we left with +terrible presentiments of coming evil. It came. Yes, too soon were our +worst fears realized. I called one day resolved to see her before I left +the house. Conceive, if you can, my surprise and horror, when they told +me that my beautiful, idolized sister had resolved to become a nun. +That she had already renounced the world, and would hold no further +communication with her relatives. "Why did I not know this before? I +exclaimed." "You know it now," was the cold reply. I did not believe a +word of it, and when I told my father what they said, he went to them, +and resolutely demanded his child. At first they refused to give her up, +but when they saw that his high spirit was aroused--that he would not be +flattered or deceived, they reluctantly yielded to his demand." + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +LANDLADY'S STORY CONTINUED. + +The poor girl was overjoyed to meet her friends again, but how great was +our astonishment and indignation when she informed us that she had never +received a single line from home after she entered the school, nor did +she ever know that we had called to see her until we informed her of +the fact. Whenever she expressed surprise that she did not hear from us, +they told her that we had probably forgotten her, and strove to awaken +in her mind feelings of indignation, suspicion and animosity. Not +succeeding in this, however, they informed her that her father had +called, and expressed a wish that she should become a nun; that he did +not think it best for her to return home again, nor did he even ask for +a parting interview. + +Confounded and utterly heart-broken, she would have given herself up to +uncontrollable grief had she been allowed to indulge her feelings. But +even the luxury of tears was forbidden, and she was compelled to assume +an appearance of cheerfulness, and to smile when her heart-strings were +breaking. We brought forward the letters we had received from time to +time which we believed she had written. She had never seen them, before, +"and this," said she, "is not my hand-writing." Of this fact she soon +convinced us, but she said she had written letter after letter hoping +for an answer, but no answer came. She said she knew that the Superior +examined all the letters written by the young ladies, but supposed they +were always sent, after being read. But it was now plain to be seen that +those letters were destroyed, and others substituted in their place. + +[Footnote: Raffaele Ciocci, formerly a Benedictine Monk, in his +"Narrative," published by the American and Foreign Christian Union, +relates a similar experience of his own, when in the Papal College of +San Bernardo. + +Being urged to sign "a deed of humility," in which he was to renounce +all his property and give it to the college, he says, "I knew not what +to think of this "deed of humility." A thousand misgivings filled my +mind, and hoping to receive from the notary an explanation that would +assist me in fully comprehending its intention, I anxiously said, "I +must request, sir, that you will inform me what is expected from me. +Tell me what is this deed--whether it be really a mere form, as has been +represented to me, or if"--Here the master arose, and in an imperious +tone interrupted me, saying,--"Do not be obstinate and rebellions, but +obey. I have already told you that when you assume the habit of the +Order, the chapter 'de humititate' shall be explained to you. In this +paper you have only to make a renunciation of all you possess on earth." + +"Of all I possess! And if I renounce all, who, when I leave the college, +will provide for me?" The notary now interposed. "That," said he, "is +the point to which I wish to call your attention, in advising you to +make some reservation. If you neglect to do so, you may find yourself in +difficulties, losing, as you irrevocably will, every right of your own." +At these words, so palpable, so glaring, the bandage fell from my eyes, +and I saw the abyss these monsters were opening under my feet. "This is +a deception, a horrible deception," I exclaimed. "I now understand +the 'deed of humility,' but I protest I will not sign it, I will have +nothing more to do with it." * * * After spending two or three hours in +bitterness and woe, I resolved to have recourse to my family. For this +purpose I wrote a long letter to my mother, in which I exposed all the +miseries of my heart, related what had taken place with regard to the +"deed of humility," and begged of her consolation and advice. I gave +the letter into the hands of a servant, and on the following morning +received a reply, in which I was told, in gentle, terms, to +be tranquil,--not to resist the wishes of my directors,--sign +unhesitatingly any paper that might be required, for, when my studies +were completed, and I quitted the college, the validity of these forms +would cease. This letter set all my doubts at rest, and restored peace +to my mind. It was written by my mother, and she, I felt assured, would +never deceive me. How could I for one moment imagine that this epistle +was an invention of my enemies, who imitated the hand-writing and +affectionate style of my mother? Some persons will say, you might have +suspected it. * * * I reply, that in the uprightness of my heart, +I could not conceive such atrocious wickedness; it appeared utterly +irreconcilable with the sanctity of the place, and with the venerable +hoariness of persons dedicated to God. + +After perusing the letter, I hastened to the master, declaring my +readiness to sign the "deed of humility." He smiled approvingly on +finding how well his plan had succeeded. The notary and witnesses were +again summoned, and my condemnation written. The good notary, however, +pitying my situation, inserted an exceptional clause to the total +relinquishment of my rights. * * * No sooner was this business +concluded, than the master commanded me to write to my parents, to +inform them that I had signed the deed of renunciation, and was willing, +for the benefit of my soul, to assume the monkish habit. He was present +when I wrote this letter; I was, therefore, obliged to adopt the +phrases suggested by him,--phrases, breathing zeal and devotion; full of +indifference to the world, and tranquil satisfaction at the choice I +had made. My parents, thought I, will be astonished when they read this +epistle, but they must perceive that the language is not mine, so little +is it in accordance with my former style of writing. + +Reader, in the course of thirteen months, only one, of from fifty to +sixty letters which I addressed to my mother, was ever received by her, +and that one was this very letter. The monks, instead of forwarding +mine, had forged letters imitating the hand-writing, and adopting a +style suited to their purpose; and instead of consigning to me the +genuine replies, they artfully substituted answers of their own +fabrication. My family, therefore, were not surprised at the tenor of +this epistle, but rejoiced over it, and reputed me already a Saint. They +probably pictured me to themselves, on some future day, with a mitre on +my head--with the red cap--nay, perhaps, even wearing the triple crown. +Oh, what a delusion! Poor deceived parents! You knew not that your son, +in anguish and despair, was clashing his chains, and devouring his tears +in secret; that a triple bandage was placed before his eyes, and that +he was being dragged, an unwilling victim, to the sacrifice." Returning +home soon after, Ciocci rushed to his mother, and asked if she had +his letters. They, were produced; when he found that only one had been +written by him. The rest were forgeries of the masters.] + +"It follows then," said my father, "that these letters are forgeries, +and the excuses they have so often made are base falsehoods. A teacher +of the religion of Jesus Christ guilty of lying and forgery! 'O, my soul +come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly mine honor be thou +not united.'" + +"But we have our darling home again," said I, "and now we shall keep her +with us." Never shall I forget the sweet, sad smile that came over her +pale face as I uttered these words. Perchance, even then she realized +that she was soon to leave us, never more to return. However this may +be, she gradually declined. Slowly, but surely she went down to the +grave. Every remedy was tried--every measure resorted to, that seemed +to promise relief, but all in vain. We had the best physicians, but they +frankly confessed that they did not understand her disease. In a very +few months after her return, we laid our lovely and beloved sister +beneath the clods of the valley. Our good old physician wept as he gazed +upon her cold remains. I believe he thought she was poisoned, but as he +could not prove it, he would only have injured himself by saying so. As +for myself, I always thought that she knew too many of their secrets to +be allowed to live after leaving them. "And now, dear," she continued, +"do you think it strange that I hate the Romanists? Do you wonder if I +feel like swearing when I think of priests and convents?" + +Truly, I did not wonder that she hated them, though I could not +understand what benefit it could be to swear about it; but I did not +doubt the truth of her story. How often, in the convent from which I +fled, had I heard them exult over the success of some deep laid scheme +to entrap the ignorant, the innocent and the unwary! If a girl was rich +or handsome, as sure as she entered their school, so sure was she to +become a nun, unless she had influential friends to look after her and +resolutely prevent it. To effect this, no means were left untried. The +grossest hypocricy, and the meanest deception were practised to prevent +a girl from holding communication with any one out of the convent No +matter how lonely, or how homesick she might feel, she was not allowed +to see her friends, or even to be informed of their kind attentions. So +far from this, she was made to believe, if possible, that her relatives +had quite forsaken her, while these very relatives were boldly informed +that she did not wish to see them. If they wrote to their friends, as +they sometimes did, their letters were always destroyed, while those +received at home were invariably written by the priest or Superior. +These remarks, however, refer only to those who are rich, or beautiful +in person. Many a girl can say with truth that she has attended +the convent school, and no effort was ever made--no inducement ever +presented to persuade her to become a nun. Consequently, she says that +stories like the above are mere falsehoods, reported to injure the +school. This may be true so far as she is concerned, but you may be sure +she has neither riches nor beauty, or if possessed of these, there was +some other strong reason why she should be an exception to the general +rule. Could she know the private history of some of her school-mates, +she would tell a different story. + +I remember that while in the convent, I was one day sent up stairs to +assist a Superior in a chamber remote from the kitchen, and in a part of +the house where I had never been before. Returning alone to the kitchen, +I passed a door that was partly open, and hearing a slight groan within, +I pushed open the door and looked in, before I thought what I was doing. +A young girl lay upon a bed, who looked more like a corpse than a living +person. She saw me, and motioned to have me come to her. + +As I drew near the bed, she burst into tears, and whispered, "Can't you +get me a drink of cold water?" I told her I did not know, but I would +try. I hastened to the kitchen, and as no one was present but a nun whom +I did not fear, I procured a pitcher of water, and went back with it +without meeting any one on the way. I was well aware that if seen, I +should be punished, but I did not care. I was doing as I would wish +others to do to me, and truly, I had my reward. Never shall I forget how +grateful that poor sufferer was for a draught of cold water. She could +not tell how many days she had been fasting, for some of the time she +had been insensible; but it must have been several days, and she did not +know how long she was to remain in that condition. + +"How came you here?" I asked, in a whisper; "and what have you done to +induce them to punish you so?" "O," said she, with a burst of tears, and +grasping my hand with her pale, cold fingers, "I was in the school, and +I thought it would be so nice to be a nun! Then my father died and left +me all his property, and they persuaded me to stay here, and give it all +to the church. I was so sad then I did not care for money, and I had no +idea what a place it is. I really thought that the nuns were pure and +holy--that their lives were devoted to heaven, their efforts consecrated +to the cause of truth and righteousness. I thought that this was indeed +the 'house of God,' the very 'gate of heaven.' But as soon as they were +sure of me, they let me know--but you understand me; you know what I +mean?" I nodded assent, and once more asked, "What did you do?" "O, +I was in the school," said she, "and I knew that a friend of mine was +coming here just as I did; and I could not bear to see her, in all her +loveliness and unsuspecting innocence, become a victim to these vile +priests. I found an opportunity to let her know what a hell she +was coming to. 'Twas an unpardonable sin, you see. I had robbed the +church--committed sacrilege, they said--and they have almost killed me +for it. I wish they would QUITE, for I am sure death has no terrors for +me now. God will never punish me for what I have done. But go; don't +stay any longer; they'll kill you if they catch you here." I knew that +she had spoken truly--they WOULD kill me, almost, if not quite, if +they found me there; but I must know a little more. "Did you save your +friend?" I asked, "or did you both have to suffer, to pay for your +generous act?" "Did I save her? Yes, thank God, I did. She did not come, +and she promised not to tell of me. I don't think she did; but they +managed to find it out, I don't know how; and now--O God, let me die!" +I was obliged to go, and I left her, with a promise to carry her some +bread if I could. But I could not, and I never saw her again. Yet what +a history her few words unfolded! It was so much like the landlady's +story, I could not forbear relating it to her. She seemed much +interested in all my convent adventures; and in this way we spent the +night. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +THE TWO SISTERS. + +Next morning the lady informed me that I could not remain with her in +safety, but she had a sister, who lived about half a mile distant, with +whom I could stop until my feet were sufficiently healed to enable me to +resume my journey. She then sent for her sister, who very kindly, as +I then thought, acceded to her request, and said I was welcome to stay +with her as long as I wished. Arrangements were therefore made at once +for my removal. My kind hostess brought two large buffalo robes into my +chamber, which she wrapped around my person in such a way as to shield +me from the observation of the servants. She then called one whom she +could trust, and bade him take up the bundle and carry it down to +a large covered wagon that stood at the door. I have often wondered +whether the man knew what was in that bundle or not. I do not think +he did, for he threw me across his shoulder as he would any bale of +merchandise, and laid me on the bottom of the carriage. The two ladies +then entered, laughing heartily at the success of their ruse, and joking +me about my novel mode of conveyance. In this manner we were driven +to the sister's residence, and I was carried into the house by the +servants, in the same way. The landlady stopped for a few moments, and +when she left she gave me cloth for a new dress, a few other articles of +clothing, and three dollars in money. She bade me stay there and make my +dress, and on no account venture out again in my nun dress. She wished +me success in my efforts to escape, commended me to the care of our +heavenly Father, and bade me farewell. She returned in the wagon alone, +and left me to make the acquaintance of my new hostess. + +This lady was a very different woman from her sister, and I soon had +reason to regret that I was in her power. It has been suggested to me +that the two ladies acted in concert; that I was removed for the sole +purpose of being betrayed into the hands of my enemies. But I am not +willing to believe this. Dark as human nature appears to me--accustomed +as I am to regard almost every one with suspicion--still I cannot for +one moment cherish a thought so injurious to one who was so kind to me. +Is it possible that she could be such a hypocrite? Treat me with so much +tenderness, and I might say affection, and then give me up to what was +worse than death? No; whatever the reader may think about it, I can +never believe her guilty of such perfidy. I regret exceedingly my +inability to give the name of this lady in connection with the history +of her good deeds, but I did not learn the name of either sister. The +one to whom I was now indebted for a shelter seemed altogether careless +of my interests. I had been with her but a few hours when she asked me +to do some washing for her. Of course I was glad to do it; but when she +requested me to go into the yard and hang the clothes upon the line, I +became somewhat alarmed. I did not like to do it, and told her so; but +she laughed at my fears, overruled all my objections, said no one in +that place would seek to harm or to betray me, and assured me there +was not the least danger. I at last consented to go, though my reason, +judgment, and inclination, had I followed their dictates, would have +kept me in the house. But I did not like to appear ungrateful, or +unwilling to repay the kindness I received, as far as I was able; still +I could not help feeling that it was an ungenerous demand. She might at +least have offered me a bonnet or a shawl, as a partial disguise; but +she did nothing of the kind. + +When I saw that I could not avoid the exposure I resolved to make +the best of it and get through as quickly, as possible; but my dress +attracted a good deal of attention, and I saw more than one suspicious +glance directed towards me before my task was finished. When it was +over I thought no more about it, but gave myself up to the bright +anticipations of future happiness, which now began to take possession of +my mind. + +That night I retired to a comfortable bed, and was soon lost to all +earthly cares in the glorious land of dreams. What unalloyed happiness I +enjoyed that night! what impossible feats I performed! Truly, the vision +was bright, but a sad awaking followed. Some time in the night I was +aroused by the flashing of a bright light from a dark lantern suddenly +opened. I attempted to rise, but before I could realize where I was, +a strong hand seized me and a gag was thrust into my mouth. The man +attempted to take me in his arms, but with my hands and feet I +defended myself to the best of my ability. Another man now came to his +assistance, and with strong cords confined my hands and feet, so that I +was entirely at their mercy. Perfectly helpless, I could neither resist +nor call for help. They then took me up and carried me down stairs, with +no clothing but my night-dress, not even a shawl to shield me from the +cold night air. + +At the gate stood a long covered wagon, in form like a butchers cart, +drawn by two horses, and beside it a long box with several men standing +around it. I had only time to observe this, when they thrust me into the +box, closed the lid, placed it in the wagon, and drove rapidly away. +I could not doubt for a moment into whose hands I had fallen, and when +they put me into the box, I wished I might suffocate, and thus end my +misery at once. But they had taken good care to prevent this by boring +holes in the box, which admitted air enough to keep up respiration. +And this was the result of all my efforts for freedom! After all I had +suffered in making my escape, it was a terrible disappointment to be +thus cruelly betrayed, gagged, bound, and boxed up like an article of +merchandise, carried back to certain torture, and perchance to death. +O, blame me not, gentle reader, if in my haste, and the bitter +disappointment and anguish of my spirit, I questioned the justice of the +power that rules the world. Nor let your virtuous indignation wax hot +against me if I confess to you, that I even doubted the existence of +that power. How often had I cried to God for help! Why were my prayers +and tears disregarded? What had I done to deserve such a fife of misery? +These, and similar thoughts occupied my mind during that lonely midnight +ride. + +We arrived at St. Regis before the first Mass in the morning. The box +was then taken into the chapel, where they took me out and carried me +into the church. I was seated at the foot of the altar, with my hands +and feet fast bound, the gag still in my mouth, and no clothing on, but +my night-dress. Two men stood beside me, and I remained here until the +priest had said mass and the people retired from the church. He then +came down from the altar, and said to the men beside me, "Well, you have +got her." "Yes Sir," they replied, "what shall we do with her?" "Put her +on the five o'clock boat," said he, "and let the other men go with her +to Montreal. I want you to stay here, and be ready to go the other way +tonight" This priest was an Indian, but he spoke the English language +correctly and fluently. He seemed to feel some pity for my forlorn +condition, and as they were about to carry me away he brought a large +shawl, and wrapped it around me, for which I was truly grateful. + +At the appointed time, I was taken on board the boat, watched very +closely by the two men who had me in charge. There was need enough of +this, for I would very gladly have thrown myself into the water, had I +not been prevented. Once and again I attempted it, but the men held me +back. For this, I am now thankful, but at that time my life appeared of +so little importance, and the punishments I knew were in reserve for me +seemed so fearful, I voluntarily chose "strangling and death rather than +life." The captain and sailors were all Romanists, and seemed to vie +with each other in making me as unhappy as possible They made sport of +my "new fashioned clothing," and asked if I "did not wish to run away +again?" When they found I did not notice them they used the most abusive +and scurrilous language, mingled with vulgar and profane expressions, +which may not be repeated. The men who had charge of me, and who should +have protected me from such abuse, so far from doing it, joined in the +laugh, and appeared to think it a pleasant amusement to ridicule and vex +a poor helpless fugitive. May God forgive them for their cruelty, and +in the hour of their greatest need, may they meet with the kindness they +refused to me. + +At Lachine we changed boats and took another to Montreal. When we +arrived there, three priests were waiting for us. Their names I +perfectly remember, but I am not sure that I can spell them correctly. +Having never learned while in the nunnery, to read, or spell anything +except a simple prayer, it is not strange if I do make mistakes, when +attempting to give names from memory. I can only give them as they were +pronounced. They were called Father Kelly, Dow, and Conroy. All the +priests were called father, of whatever age they might be. + +As we proceeded from the boat to the Nunnery, one of the priests went +before us while the others walked beside me, leading me between them. +People gazed at us as we passed, but they did not dare to insult, or +laugh at me, while in such respectable company. Yet, methinks it +must have been a ludicrous sight to witness so much parade for a poor +run-a-way nun. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +CHOICE OF PUNISHMENTS. + +On our arrival at the Nunnery, I was left alone for half an hour. Then +the Bishop came in with the Lady Superior, and the Abbess who had charge +of the kitchen when I left. The Bishop read to me three punishments of +which he said, I could take my choice. First.--To fast five days in the +fasting room. Second.--To suffer punishment in the lime room. Third.--To +fast four days, in the cell. As I knew nothing of these places except +the cell, a priest was directed to take me to them, that I might see for +myself, and then take my choice. At first, I thought I did not care, and +I said I had no choice about it; but when I came to see the rooms, I was +thankful that I was not allowed to abide by that decision. Certainly, I +had no idea what was before me. + +I was blindfolded, and taken to the lime room first. I think it must +have been situated at a great distance from the room we left, for he led +me down several flights of stairs, and through long, low passages, where +it was impossible to stand erect. At length we entered a room where the +atmosphere seemed laden with hot vapor. My blinder was removed, and I +found myself in a pleasant room some fifteen feet square. There was no +furniture of any kind, but a wide bench, fastened to the wall, extended +round three sides of the room. The floor looked like one solid block of +dark colored marble; not a crack or seam to be seen in it, but it was +clouded, highly polished, and very beautiful. Around the sides of the +room, a great number of hooks and chains were fastened to the wall, and +a large hook hung in the center overhead. Near the door stood two men, +with long iron bars, some two inches square, on their shoulders. + +The priest directed me to stand upon the bench, and turning to the men, +he bade them raise the door. They put down their bars, and I suppose +touched a concealed spring, for the whole floor at once flew up, and +fastened to the large hook over head. Surprised and terrified, I stood +wondering what was to come next. At my feet yawned a deep pit, from +which, arose a suffocating vapor, so hot, it almost scorched my face and +nearly stopped my breath. The priest pointed to the heaving, tumbling +billows of smoke that were rolling below, and; asked, "How would you +like to be thrown into the lime?" "Not at all," I gasped, in a voice +scarcely audible, "it would burn me to death." I suppose he thought I +was sufficiently frightened, for he bade his men close the door. This +they did by slowly letting down the floor, and I could see that it was +in some way supported by the chains attached to the walls but in what +manner I do not know. + +I was nearly suffocated by the lime smoke that filled the room, and +though I knew not what was in reserve for me, I was glad when my blinder +was put on, and I was led away. I think we returned the same way we +came, and entered another room where the scent was so very offensive, +that I begged to be taken out immediately. Even before my eyes were +uncovered, and I knew nothing of the loathsome objects by which we were +surrounded, I felt that I could not endure to breathe an atmosphere so +deadly. But the sight that met my eyes when my blinder was removed, I +cannot describe, nor the sensations with which I gazed upon it. I can +only give the reader some faint idea of the place, which, they said, was +called the fasting room, and here incorrigible offenders fasted until +they starved to death. Nor was this all. Their dead bodies were not even +allowed a decent burial, but were suffered to remain in the place where +they died, until the work of death was complete and dust returned to +dust. Thus the atmosphere became a deadly poison to the next poor victim +who was left to breathe the noxious effluvia of corruption and decay. I +am well aware that my reader will hardly credit my statements, but I do +solemnly affirm that I relate nothing but the truth. In this room were +placed several large iron kettles, so deep that a person could sit in +them, and many of them contained the remains of human beings. In one the +corpse looked as though it had been dead but a short time. Others still +sat erect in the kettle, but the flesh was dropping from the bones. +Every stage of decay was here represented, from the commencement, till +nothing but a pile of bones was left of the poor sufferer. + +Conceive, if you can, with what feelings I gazed upon these disgusting +relics of the dead. Even now, my blood chills in my veins, as memory +recalls the fearful sight, or as, in sleep, I live over again the +dread realities of that hour. Was I to meet a fate like this? I might, +perchance, escape it for that time, but what assurance had I that I was +not ultimately destined to such an end? These thoughts filled my mind, +as I followed the priest from the room; and for a long time I continued +to speculate upon what I had seen. They called it the fasting room; but +if fasting were the only object, why were they placed in those kettles, +instead of being allowed to sit on chairs or benches, or even on the +floor? And why placed in IRON kettles? Why were they not made of +wood? It would have answered the purpose quite as well, if fasting +or starvation were the only objects in view. Then came the fearful +suggestion, were these kettles ever heated? And was that floor made +of stone or iron? The thought was too shocking to be cherished for a +moment; but I could not drive it from my mind. + +I was again blindfolded, and taken to a place they called a cell. But it +was quite different from the one I was in before. We descended several +steps as we entered it, and instead of the darkness I anticipated, I +found myself in a large room with sufficient light to enable me to see +every object distinctly. One end of a long chain was fastened around my +waist, and the other firmly secured to an iron ring in the floor; but +the chain, though large and heavy, was long enough to allow me to go all +over the room. I could not see how it was lighted, but it must have been +in some artificial manner, for it was quite as light at night, as in the +day. Here were instruments of various kinds, the use of which, I did +not understand; some of them lying on the floor, others attached to the +sides of the room. One of them was made in the form of a large fish, +but of what material I do not know. It was of a bright flesh color, and +fastened to a board on the floor. If I pressed my foot upon the board, +it would put in motion some machinery within, which caused it to spring +forward with a harsh, jarring sound like the rumbling of the cars. At +the same time its eyes would roll round, and its mouth open, displaying +a set of teeth so large and long that I was glad to keep at a safe +distance. I wished to know whether it would really bite me or not, but +it looked so frightful I did not dare to hazard the experiment. + +Another so nearly resembled a large serpent, I almost thought it was +one; but I found it moved only when touched in a certain manner. Then +it would roll over, open its mouth, and run out its tongue. There was +another that I cannot describe, for I never saw anything that looked +like it. It was some kind of a machine, and the turning of a crank made +it draw together in such a way, that if a person were once within its +embrace, the pressure would soon arrest the vital current, and stop +the breath of life. Around the walls of the room were chains, rings and +hooks, almost innumerable; but I did not know their use, and feared +to touch them. I believed them all to be instruments of torture, and I +thought they gave me a long chain in the hope and expectation that +my curiosity would lead me into some of the numerous traps the room +contained. + +Every morning the figure I had seen beside the dying nun, which they +called the devil, came to my cell, and unlocking the door himself, +entered, and walked around me, laughing heartily, and seeming much +pleased to find me there. He would blow white froth from his mouth, but +he never spoke to me, and when he went out, he locked the door after him +and took away the key. He was, in fact, very thoughtful and prudent, but +it will be long before I believe that he came as they pretended, from +the spirit world. So far from being frightened, the incident was rather +a source of amusement. Such questions as the following would force +themselves upon my mind. If that image is really the devil, where did he +get that key? And what will he do with it? Does the devil hold the keys +of this nunnery, so that he can come and go as he pleases? Or, are the +priests on such friendly terms with his satanic majesty that they lend +him their keys? Or, do they hold them as partners? Gentlemen of the Grey +Nunnery, please tell us how it is about those keys. + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +HORRORS OF STARVATION. + +One day a woman came into my cell, dressed in white, a white cap on +her head, and so very pale she looked more like a corpse than a living +person. She came up to me with her mouth wide open, and stood gazing +at me for a moment in perfect silence. She then asked, "Where have you +been?" "Into the world," I replied. "How did you like the world?" "Very +well," said I. She paused a moment, and then asked, "Did you find your +friends?" "No, ma'am," said I, "I did not." Another pause, and then she +said, "Perhaps you will if you go again." "No," I replied, "I shall not +try again." "You had better try it once more," she added, and I thought +there was a slight sneer in her tone; "Perhaps you may succeed better +another time." "No," I replied, "I shall not try to run away from the +nunnery again. I should most assuredly be caught and brought back, and +then they would make me suffer so much, I assure you I shall never do it +again." She looked at me a moment as though she would read my very soul, +and said, "And so you did not find your friends, after all, did you?" I +again told her that I did not, and she seemed satisfied with the result +of her questioning. When she came in, I was pleased to see her, and +thought I would ask her for something to eat, or at least for a little +cold water. But she seemed so cold-hearted, so entirely destitute of +sympathy or kind feeling, I had no courage to speak to her, for I felt +that it would do no good. Perhaps I misjudged her. I knew from her looks +that she must have been a great sufferer; but I have heard it said that +extreme suffering sometimes hardens instead of softening the heart, +and I believe it. It seemed to me that this woman had suffered so much +herself, that every kind feeling was crushed out of her soul. I was glad +when she left me, locking the door after her. + +Four days they kept me in this cell, and for five days and nights I had +not tasted food or drink. I endured the most intolerable agonies from +hunger and thirst. The suffering produced by hunger, when it becomes +actual starvation, is far beyond anything that I can imagine. There +is no other sensation that can be compared to it, and no language can +describe it. One must feel it in order to realize what it is. The +first two days I amused myself by walking round my room and trying to +conjecture the use to which the various instruments were applied. Then +I became so weak I could only think of eating and drinking. I sometimes +fell asleep, but only to dream of loaded tables and luxurious feasts. +Yet I could never taste the luxuries thus presented. Whenever I +attempted to do so, they would be snatched away, or I would wake to +find it all a dream. Driven to a perfect frenzy by the intensity of my +sufferings, I would gladly have eaten my own flesh. Well was it for me +that no sharp instrument was at hand, for as a last resort I more than +once attempted to tear open my veins with my teeth. + +This severe paroxysm passed away, and I sank into a state of partial +unconsciousness, in which I remained until I was taken out of the cell. +I do not believe I should have lived many hours longer, nor should I +ever have been conscious of much more suffering. With me the "bitterness +of death had passed," and I felt disappointed and almost angry to be +recalled to a life of misery. I begged them to allow me to die. It was +the only boon I craved. But this would have been too merciful; moreover, +they did not care to lose my services in the kitchen. I was a good +drudge for them, and they wished to restore me on the same principle +that a farmer would preserve the life of a valuable horse. + +I do not remember leaving the cell. The first thing I realized they were +placing me in a chair in the kitchen, and allowed me to lean my head +upon the table. They gave me some gruel, and I soon revived so that I +could sit up in my chair and speak in a whisper. But it was some hours +before I could stand on my feet or speak loud. An Abbess was in the +kitchen preparing bread and wine for the priests (they partake of +these refreshments every day at ten in the morning and three in the +afternoon). She brought a pailful of wine and placed it on the table +near me, and left a glass standing beside it. When she turned away, I +took the glass, dipped up a little of the wine, and drank it. She saw +me do it, but said not a word, and I think she left it there for that +purpose. The wine was very strong, and my stomach so weak, I soon began +to feel sick, and asked permission to go to bed. They took me up in +their arms and carried me to my old room and laid me on the bed. Here +they left me, but the Abbess soon returned with some gruel made very +palatable with milk and sugar. I was weak, and my hand trembled so that +I could not feed myself; but the Abbess kindly sat beside me and fed me +until I was satisfied. I had nothing more to eat until the next day at +eleven o'clock, when the Abbess again brought me some bread and gruel, +and a cup of strong tea. She requested me to drink the tea as quick as +possible, and then she concealed the mug in which she brought it. + +I was now able to feed myself, and you may be sure I had an excellent +appetite, and was not half so particular about my food as some persons +I have since known. I lay in bed till near night, when I rose, dressed +myself without assistance, and went down to the kitchen. I was so weak +and trembled so that I could hardly manage to get down stairs; but +I succeeded at last, for a strong will is a wonderful incentive to +efficient action. + +In the kitchen I met the Lady Superior. She saw how weak I was, and as +she assisted me to a chair, she said, "I should not have supposed that +you could get down here alone. Have you had anything to eat to-day?" I +was about to say yes, but one of the nuns shook her head at me, and I +replied "No." She then brought some bread and wine, requesting me to eat +it quick, for fear some of the priests might come in and detect us. Thus +I saw that she feared the priests as well as the rest of us. Truly, +it was a terrible crime she had committed! No wonder she was afraid +of being caught! Giving a poor starved nun a piece of bread, and then +obliged to conceal it as she would have done a larceny or a murder! +Think of it, reader, and conceive, if you can, the state of that +community where humanity is a crime--where mercy is considered a +weakness of which one should be ashamed! If a pirate or a highwayman had +been guilty of treating a captive as cruelly as I was treated by those +priests, he would have been looked upon as an inhuman monster, and at +once given up to the strong grasp of the law. But when it is done by a +priest, under the cloak of Religion, and within the sacred precincts of +a nunnery, people cry out, when the tale is told, "Impossible!" "What +motive could they have had?" "It cannot be true," etc. But whether +the statement is believed or otherwise, it is a fact that in the Grey +Nunnery at Montreal the least exhibition of a humane spirit was +punished as a crime. The nun who was found guilty of showing mercy to a +fellow-sufferer was sure to find none herself. + +From this time I gained very fast, for the Abbess saw how hungry I was, +and she would either put food in my way, or give me privately what I +wished to eat. In two weeks I was able to go to work in the kitchen +again. But those I had formerly seen there were gone. I never knew what +became of the sick nun, nor could I learn anything about the one who ran +away with me. I thought that the men who brought me to St. Regis, were +kept there to go after her, but I do not know whether they found her +or not. For myself, I promised so solemnly, and with such apparent +sincerity, that I would never leave the nunnery again, I was believed +and trusted. Had I been kindly treated, had my life been even tolerable, +my conscience would have reproached me for deceiving them, but as it +was, I felt that I was more "sinned against, than sinning." I could not +think it wrong to get away, if the opportunity presented, and for this I +was constantly on the watch. Every night I lay awake long after all +the rest were buried in slumber, trying to devise some plan, by which +I could once more regain my liberty. And who can blame me? Having +just tasted the sweets of freedom, how could I be content to remain in +servitude all my life? Many a time have I left my bed at night, resolved +to try to escape once more, but the fear of detection would deter me +from the attempt. + +In the discharge of my daily duties, I strove to the utmost of my +ability to please my employers. I so far succeeded, that for five weeks +after my return I escaped punishment. Then, I made a slight mistake +about my work, though I verily thought I was doing it according to the +direction. For this, I was told that I must go without two meals, and +spend three days in the torture room. I supposed it was the same room I +was in before, but I was mistaken. I was taken into the kitchen cellar, +and down a flight of stairs to another room directly under it. From +thence, a door opened into another subterranean apartment which they +called the torture room. These doors were so constructed, that a casual +observer would not be likely to notice them. I had been in that cellar +many times, but never saw that door until I was taken through it. A +person might live in the nunnery a life-time, and never see or hear +anything of such a place. I presume those visitors who call at the +school-rooms, go over a part of the house, and leave with the impression +that the convent is a nice place, will never believe my statements about +this room. Nor can we wonder at their skepticism. It is exceedingly +difficult for pure minds to conceive how any human being can be so +fearfully depraved. Knowing the purity of their own intentions, and +judging others by themselves, it is not strange that they regard such +tales of guilt and terror as mere fabrications, put forth to gratify the +curiosity of the wonder-loving crowd. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +THE TORTURE ROOM. + +I remember hearing a gentleman at the depot remark that the very +enormity of the crimes committed by the Romanists, is their best +protection. "For," said he, "some of their practices are so shockingly +infamous they may not even be alluded to in the presence of the refined +and the virtuous. And if the story of their guilt were told, who would +believe the tale? Far easier would it be to call the whole a slanderous +fabrication, than to believe that man can be so vile." + +This consideration led me to doubt the propriety of attempting a +description of what I saw in that room. But I have engaged to give a +faithful narrative of what transpired in the nunnery; and shall I leave +out a part because it is so strange and monstrous, that people will not +believe it? No. I will tell, without the least exaggeration what I saw, +heard, and experienced. People may not credit the story now, but a day +will surely come when they will know that I speak the truth. + +As I entered the room I was exceedingly shocked at the horrid spectacle +that met my eye. I knew that fearful scenes were enacted in the +subterranean cells, but I never imagined anything half so terrible as +this. In various parts of the room I saw machines, and instruments of +torture, and on some of them persons were confined who seemed to be +suffering the most excruciating agony. I paused, utterly overcome with +terror, and for a moment imagined that I was a witness to the torments, +which, the priests say, are endured by the lost, in the world of woe. +Was I to undergo such tortures, and which of those infernal engines +would be applied to me? I was not long in doubt. The priest took hold of +me and put me into a machine that held me fast, while my feet rested +on a piece of iron which was gradually heated until both feet were +blistered. I think I must have been there fifteen minutes, but perhaps +the time seemed longer than it was. He then took me out, put some +ointment on my feet and left me. + +I was now at liberty to examine more minutely the strange objects around +me. There were some persons in the place whose punishment, like my own, +was light compared with others. But near me lay one old lady extended +on a rack. Her joints were all dislocated, and she was emaciated to the +last degree. I do not suppose I can describe this rack, for I never saw +anything like it. It looked like a gridiron but was long enough for the +tallest man to lie upon. There were large rollers at each end, to which +belts were attached, with a large lever to drive them back and forth. +Upon this rack the poor woman was fastened in such a way, that when the +levers were turned and the rollers made to revolve, every bone in her +body was displaced. Then the violent strain would be relaxed, a little, +and she was so very poor, her skin would sink into the joints and remain +there till it mortified and corrupted. + +It was enough to melt the hardest heart to witness her agony; but +she bore it with a degree of fortitude and patience, I could not have +supposed possible, had I not been compelled to behold it. When I entered +the room she looked up and said, "Have you come to release me, or only +to suffer with me?" I did not dare to reply, for the priest was there, +but when he left us she exclaimed, "My child, let nothing induce you +to believe this cursed religion. It will be the death of you, and that +death, will be the death of a dog." I suppose she meant that they would +kill me as they would a dog. She then asked, "Who put you here?" "My +Father," said I. "He must have been a brute," said she, "or he never +could have done it." At one time I happened to mention the name of +God, when she fiercely exclaimed with gestures of contempt, "A God! You +believe there is one, do you? Don't you suffer yourself to believe any +such thing. Think you that a wise, merciful, and all powerful being +would allow such a hell as this to exist? Would he suffer me to be torn +from friends and home, from my poor children and all that my soul holds +dear, to be confined in this den of iniquity, and tortured to death in +this cruel manner? No, O, no. He would at once destroy these monsters +in human form; he would not suffer them, for one moment, to breathe the +pure air of heaven." + +At another time she exclaimed, "O, my children! my poor motherless +children! What will become of them? God of mercy, protect my children!" +Thus, at one moment, she would say there was no God, and the next, +pray to him for help. This did not surprise me, for she was in such +intolerable misery she did not realize what she did say. Every few hours +the priest came in, and gave the rollers a turn, when her joints would +crack and--but I cannot describe it. The sight made me sick and faint at +the time, as the recollection of it, does now. It seemed as though that +man must have had a heart of adamant, or he could not have done it. +She would shriek, and groan, and weep, but it did not affect him in the +least. He was as calm, and deliberate as though he had a block of wood +in his hands, instead of a human being. When I saw him coming, I once +shook my head at her, to have her stop speaking; but when he was gone, +she said, "Don't shake your head at me; I do not fear him. He can but +kill me, and the quicker he does it the better. I would be glad if he +would put an end to my misery at once, but that would be too merciful. +He is determined to kill me by inches, and it makes no difference what I +say to him." + +She had no food, or drink, during the three days I was there, and the +priest never spoke to her. He brought me my bread and water regularly, +and I would gladly have given it to that poor woman if she would have +taken it. But she would not accept the offer. It would only prolong +her sufferings, and she wished to die. I do not suppose she could have +lived, had she been taken out when I first saw her. + +In another part of the room, a monk was under punishment. He was +standing in some kind of a machine, with heavy weights attached to his +feet, and a belt passed across his breast under his arms. He appeared to +be in great distress, and no refreshment was furnished him while I was +there. + +On one side of the room, I observed a closet with a "slide door," as the +nuns called them. There were several doors of this description in the +building, so constructed as to slide back into the ceiling out of +sight. Through this opening I could see an image resembling a monk; and +whenever any one was put in there, they would shriek, and groan, and beg +to be taken out, but I could not ascertain the cause of their suffering. + +One day a nun was brought in to be punished. The priest led her up to +the side of the room, and bade her put her fingers into some holes in +the wall just large enough to admit them. She obeyed but immediately +drew them back with a loud shriek. I looked to see what was the matter +with her, and lo! every nail was torn from her fingers, which were +bleeding profusely. How it was done, I do not know. Certainly, there was +no visible cause for such a surprising effect. In all probability the +fingers came in contact with the spring of some machine on the other +side, or within the wall to which some sharp instrument was attached. I +would give much to know just how it was constructed, and what the +girl had done to subject herself to such a terrible and unheard-of +punishment. But this, like many other things in that establishment, was +wrapped in impenetrable mystery. God only knows when the veil will be +removed, or whether it ever will be until the day when all secret things +will be brought to light. + +When the three days expired, I was taken out of this room, but did not +go to work again till my feet were healed. I was then obliged to assist +in milking the cows, and taking care of the milk. They had a large +number of cows, I believe thirty-five, and dairy rooms, with every thing +convenient for making butter and cheese. When first directed to go +out and milk, I was pleased with the idea, for I hoped to find and +opportunity to escape; but I was again disappointed. In the cow yard, as +elsewhere, every precaution was taken to prevent it. + +Passing out of the main yard of the convent through a small door, I +found myself in a small, neat yard, surrounded by a high fence, so that +nothing could be seen but the sky overhead. The cows were driven in, +and the door immediately locked, so that escape from that place seemed +impossible. + +At harvest time, in company with twenty other nuns, I was taken out +into the country to the residence of the monks. The ride out there was +a great treat, and very much enjoyed by us all. I believe it was about +five miles, through a part of the city of Montreal; the north part +I think, but I am not sure. We stopped before a large white stone +building, situated in the midst of a large yard like the one at the +nunnery. A beautiful walk paved with stone, led from the gate to the +front door, and from thence, around the house. Within the yard, there +was also a delightful garden, with neat, well kept walks laid out in +various directions. Before the front door there stood a large cross. +I think I never saw a more charming place; it appeared to me a perfect +paradise. I heard one of the priests say that the farm consisted of four +hundred acres, and belonged to the nunnery. The house was kept by two +widow ladies who were married before they embraced the Romish faith. +They were the only women on the place previous to our arrival, and I +think they must have found it very laborious work to wait upon so many +monks. I do not know their number, but there was a great many of them, +besides a large family of boys, who, I suppose, were being educated for +priests or monks. + +Immediately on our arrival a part of our number were set to work in the +fields, while the rest were kept in the house to assist the women. I +hoped that I might be one of these last, but disappointment was again +my lot. I was sent to the field with the others, and set to reaping; a +priest being stationed near, to guard us and oversee our work. We were +watched very closely, one priest having charge of two nuns, for whose +safe keeping he was responsible. Here we labored until the harvest was +all gathered in. I dug potatoes, cut up corn and husked it, gathered +apples, and did all kinds of work that is usually done by men in the +fall of the year. Yet I was never allowed to wear a bonnet on my head, +or anything to shield me from the piercing rays of the sun. Some +days the heat was almost intolerable, and my cap was not the least +protection, but they allowed me no other covering. + +In consequence of this exposure, my head soon became the seat of severe +neuralgic pain, which caused me at times to linger over my work. But +this was not permitted. My movements were immediately quickened, for the +work must be done notwithstanding the severe pain. Every command must be +obeyed whatever the result. + +At night a part of our number were taken to the nunnery, and the rest +of us locked up in our rooms in the house. We were not permitted to +take our meals with the two housekeepers, but a table was set for us in +another room. One would think that when gathering the fruit we would +be allowed to partake of it, or at least to taste it. But this was not +allowed; and as a priest's eye was ever upon us, we dare not disobey, +however much we might wish to do so. I used to wonder if the two women +who kept the house were as severely dealt with as we were, but had no +means whereby to satisfy my curiosity. They were not allowed to converse +with us, and we might not speak to them, or even look them in the face. +Here, as at the nunnery, we were obliged to walk with the head bent +forward a little, the eyes fixed on the floor, one hand, if disengaged, +under the cape, the other down by the side, and on no occasion might we +look a person in the face. The two women seemed to be governed by the +same rules that we were, and subject to the same masters. I used to +think a great deal about them, and longed to know their history. They +wore blue dresses, with white caps, and white handkerchiefs on their +necks. Their life, I think, was a hard one. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +RETURN TO THE NUNNERY. + +While we remained at this place I was not punished in any of the usual +methods. Perhaps they thought the exposure to a burning sun, and a +severe headache, sufficient to keep me in subjection without any other +infliction. But immediately on my return to the nunnery I was again +subjected to the same cruel, capricious, and unreasonable punishment. + +On the first day after my return one of the priests came into the +kitchen where I was at work, and I hastened to give him the usual +respectful salutation, which I have before described. But he took hold +of my arm and said, "What do you look so cross for?" And without giving +me time to reply, even if I had dared to do so, he added, "I'll teach +you not to look cross at me." He left the room, with an expression of +countenance that frightened me. I was not aware of looking cross at him, +though I must confess I had suffered so much at his hands already, I did +not feel very happy in his presence; yet I always endeavored to treat +him with all due respect. Certainly his accusation against me in this +instance was as false as it was cruel. But what of that? I was only +a nun, and who would care if I was punished unjustly? The priest soon +returned with a band of leather, or something of the kind, into which +thorns were fastened in such numbers that the inside was completely +covered with them. This he fastened around my head with the points of +the thorns pressing into the skin, and drew it so tight that the blood +ran in streams over my neck and shoulders. I wore this band, or "crown +of thorns;" as they called it, for six hours, and all the time continued +my work as usual. Then I thought of the "crown of thorns" our Saviour +wore when he gave his life a ransom for the sins of the world. I thought +I could realize something of his personal agony, and the prayer of my +soul went up to heaven for grace to follow his example and forgive my +tormentors. + +From this time I was punished every day while I remained there, and +for the most simple things. It was evident they wished to break down my +spirit, but it only confirmed me in my resolution to get away from them +as soon as possible. + +One day I chanced to close the door a little too hard. It was mere +accident, but for doing it they burned me with red hot tongs. They kept +them in the fire till they were red hot, then plunged them into cold +water, drew them out as quickly as possible, and immediately applied +them to my arms or feet. The skin would, of course adhere to the iron, +and it would sometime burn down to the bone before they condescended to +remove it. At another time I was cruelly burned on my arms and shoulders +for not standing erect. The flesh was deep in some places, and the agony +I suffered was intolerable. I thought of the stories the Abbess used to +tell me years before about the martyrs who were burned at the stake. But +I had not a martyr's faith, and I could not imitate their patience and +resignation. The sores made on these occasions were long in healing, +and to this day I bear upon my person the scars caused by these frequent +burnings. + +I was often punished because I forgot to walk on my toes. For this +trivial offence I have often been made to fast two days. We all wore +cloth shoes, and it was the rule of the house that we should all walk on +tip-toe. Sometimes we would forget, and take a step or two in the usual +way; and then it did seem as though they rejoiced in the opportunity to +inflict punishment. It was the only amusement they had, and there was so +little variety in their daily life, I believe they were glad of anything +to break in upon the monotony of convent life, and give them a little +excitement. It was very hard for me to learn to walk on my toes, and +as I often failed to do it, I was of course punished for the atrocious +crime. But I did learn at last, for what can we not accomplish by +resolute perseverance? Several years of practice so confirmed the habit +that I found it as difficult to leave off as it was to begin. Even now I +often find myself tripping along on tip-toe before I am aware of it. + +We had a very cruel abbess in the kitchen, and this was one reason of +our being punished so often. She was young and inexperienced, and had +just been promoted to office, with which she seemed much pleased and +elated. She embraced every opportunity to exercise her authority, and +often have I fasted two whole days for accidentally spilling a little +water on the kitchen floor. Whenever she wished to call my attention to +her, she did not content herself with simply speaking, but would box my +ears, pull my hair, pinch my arms, and in many ways so annoy and provoke +me that I often wished her dead. One day when I was cleaning knives and +forks she came up to me and gave me such a severe pinch on my arm that +I carried the marks for many days. I did not wait to think what I was +doing, but turned and struck her with all my might. It could not have +been a light blow, for I was very angry. She turned away, saying she +should report me to the Lady Superior. I did not answer her, but as she +passed through the door I threw a knife which I hoped would hit her, but +it struck the door as she closed it. I expected something dreadful would +be done to me after this wilful violation of a well known law. But I +could bear it, I thought, and I was glad I hit her so hard. + +She soon returned with a young priest, who had been there but a short +time, and his heart had not yet become so hard as is necessary to be +a good Romish priest. He came to me and asked, "What is the matter?" +I told him the Abbess punished me every day, that in fact I was under +punishment most of the time; that I did not deserve it, and I was +resolved to bear it no longer. I struck her because she pinched me for +no good reason; and I should in future try to defend myself from her +cruelty. + +"Do you know," said he, "what will be done to you for this?" "No, sir," +said I, "I do not know," and I was about to add, "I do not care," but +I restrained myself. He went out, and for a long time I expected to be +called to account, but I heard no more of it. The Abbess, however, went +on in the old way, tormenting me on every occasion. + +One day the priests had a quarrel among themselves, and if I had said a +DRUNKEN QUARREL, I do not think it would have been a very great mistake. +In the fray they stabbed one of their number in the side, drew him out +of his room, and left him on the floor in the hall of the main building, +but one flight of stairs above the kitchen. Two nuns, who did the +chamber work, came down stairs, and, seeing him lie there helpless and +forsaken, they took him by the hair of the head and drew him down to the +kitchen. Here they began to torment him in the most cruel manner. They +burned sticks in the fire until the end was a live coal, put them into +his hands and closed them, pressing the burning wood into the flesh, and +thus producing the most exquisite pain. At least this would have +been the result if he had realized their cruelty. But I think he was +insensible before they touched him, or if not, must have died very soon +after, for I am sure he was dead when I first saw him. + +I went to them and remonstrated against such inhuman conduct. But one of +the nuns replied, "That man has tormented me more than I can him, if I +do my best, and I wish him to know how good it is." "But," said I, "some +one will come in, and you will be caught in the act." "I'll risk that," +said she, "they are quarreling all over the house, and will have enough +to do to look after each other for a while, I assure you." "But the man +is dead," said I. "How can you treat a senseless corpse in that way?" +"I'm afraid he is dead," she replied, he don't move at all, and I can't +feel his heart beat; but I did hope to make him realize how good the +fire feels." + +Meanwhile, the blood was flowing from the wound in his side, and ran +over the floor. The sight of this alarmed them, and they drew him into +another dark hall, and left him beside the door of a room used for +punishment. They then came back, locked the hall door, and washed up the +blood. They expected to be punished for moving the dead body, but the +floor was dry before any of the priests came in, and I do not think it +was ever known. Perhaps they did not remember events as distinctly as +they might under other circumstances, and it is very possible, that, +when they found the corpse they might not have been able to say whether +it was where they left it, or not. We all rejoiced over the death of +that priest. He was a very cruel man; had punished me times without +number, but, though I was glad he was dead, I could not have touched him +when he lay helpless and insensible. + +A few weeks after the events just related, another trifling occurrence +brought me into collision with the Abbess. And here let me remark that +I have no way, by which to ascertain at what particular time certain +events transpired. The reader will understand that I write this +narrative from memory, and our life at the nunnery was so monotonous, +the days and weeks passed by with such dull, and irksome uniformity, +that sometimes our frequent punishments were the only memorable events +to break in upon the tiresome sameness of our unvarying life. Of course +the most simple thing was regarded by us as a great event, something +worthy of special notice, because, for the time, it diverted our minds +from the peculiar restraints of our disagreeable situation. + +To illustrate this remark let me relate an incident that transpired +about this time. I was one day sent to a part of the house where I was +not in the habit of going. I was passing along a dark hall, when a ray +of light from an open door fell upon my path. I looked up, and as the +door at that moment swung wide open, I saw, before a glass, in a richly +furnished room, the most beautiful woman I ever beheld. From the purity +of her complexion, and the bright color of her cheeks and lips, I could +have taken her for a piece of wax work, but for the fact that she was +carelessly arranging her hair. She was tall, and elegant in person, +with a countenance of such rare and surpassing beauty, I involuntarily +exclaimed, "What a beautiful woman!" She turned towards me with a +smile of angelic sweetness, while an expression of sympathetic emotion +overspread her exquisitely moulded features, which seemed to say as +plainly as though she had spoken in words, "Poor child, I pity you." +I now became conscious that I was breaking the rules of the house, and +hastened away. But O, how many days my soul fed on that smile! I never +saw the lady again, her name I could never know, but that look of +tenderness will never be forgotten. It was something to think of through +many dreary hours, something to look back to, and be grateful for, all +the days of my life. + +But to return to my narrative. The priests had a large quantity of sap +gathered from the maple trees, and brought to the nunnery to be boiled +into sugar. Another nun and myself were left to watch it, keep the +kettle filled up, and prevent it from burning. It was boiled in the +large caldron of which I have before spoken, and covered with a large, +thin, wooden cover. The sap had boiled some time, and become very thick. +I was employed in filling up the kettle when the Abbess came into the +room, and after a few inquiries, directed me to stand upon the cover of +the caldron, and fix a large hook directly over it. I objected, for I +know full well that it would not bear a fourth part of my weight. She +then took hold of me, and tried to force me to step upon it, but I knew +I should be burned to death, for the cover, on account of its enormous +size was made as thin as possible, that we might be able to lift it. +When I saw that she was determined to make me yield, in self defence, +I threw her upon the floor. Would that I had been content to stop +here. But no. When I saw her in my power, and remembered how much I +had suffered from her, my angry passions rose, and I thought only of +revenge. + +I commenced beating her with all my might, and when I stopped from mere +exhaustion, the other nun caught her by the hair and began to draw +her round the room. She struggled and shrieked, but she could not help +herself. Her screams, however, alarmed the house, and hearing one of the +priests coming, the nun gave her a kick and left her. The priest +asked what we were doing, and the Abbess related with all possible +exaggeration, the story of our cruelty. "But what did you do to them?" +asked the priest "You gave them some provocation, or they never would +treat you so." She was then obliged to tell what had passed between us, +and he said she deserved to suffer for giving such an order. "Why," said +he, "that cover would not have held her a moment, and she would most +assuredly have burned to death." He punished us all; the Abbess for +giving the order, and us for abusing her. I should not have done this +thing, had I not come off so well, when I once before attempted to +defend myself; but my success at that time gave me courage to try it +again. My punishment was just, and I bore it very well, consoled by the +thought that justice was awarded to the Abbess, as well as myself. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +SICKNESS AND DEATH OF A SUPERIOR. + +The next excitement in our little community was caused by the sickness +and death of our Superior. I do not know what her disease was, but she +was sick two weeks, and one of the nuns from the kitchen was sent to +take care of her. One night she was so much worse, the nun thought she +would die, and she began to torment her in the most inhuman manner. She +had been severely punished a short time before at the instigation of +this woman, and she then swore revenge if she ever found an opportunity. +Now it was presented. She was in her power, too weak to resist or call +for assistance, and she resolved to let her know by experience how +bitterly she had made others suffer in days gone by. It was a fiendish +spirit, undoubtedly, that prompted her to seek revenge upon the dying, +but what else could we expect? She only followed the example of her +elders, and if she went somewhat beyond their teachings, she had, as we +shall see, her reasons for so doing. With hot irons she burned her on +various parts of her person, cut great gashes in the flesh upon her +face, sides, and arms, and then rubbed salt and pepper into the wounds. +But I will not try to describe it. + +The wretched woman died before morning, and the nun went to the priest +and told him that the Superior was dead, and that she had killed her. +The priests were immediately all called together, and the Bishop called +upon for counsel. He sentenced her to be hung that morning in the chapel +before the assembled household. The Abbess came and informed us what had +taken place, and directed us to get ready and go to the chapel. When we +entered, the doomed girl sat upon a chair on the altar. She was clad +in a white robe, with a white cap on her head, and appeared calm, +self-possessed, and even joyful. The Bishop asked her if she had +anything to say for herself. She immediately rose and said, "I have +killed the Superior, for which I am to be hung. I know that I deserve +to die, but I have suffered more than death many times over, from +punishments inflicted by her order. For many years my life has been one +of continual suffering; and for what? For just nothing at all, or for +the most simple things. Is it right, is it just to starve a person two +whole days for shutting the door a little too hard? or to burn one with +hot irons because a little water was accidentally spilt on the floor? +Yet for these and similar things I have again and again been tortured +within an inch of my life. Now that I am to be hung, I am glad of +it, for I shall die quick, and be out of my misery, instead of being +tortured to death by inches. I did this thing for this very purpose, +for I do not fear death nor anything that comes after it. Talk about +the existence of a God! I don't believe a word of it. And the story of +heaven and hell, purgatory, and the Virgin Mary; why, it's all a humbug, +like the rest of the vile stuff you call religion. Religion indeed! +You wont catch us nuns believing it, and more than all that, you don't +believe it yourselves, not one of you." + +She sat down, and they put a cap over her head and face, drew it tight +around her neck, adjusted the rope, and she was launched into eternity. +To me it seemed a horrid thing, and I could not look upon her dying +struggles. I did not justify the girl in what she had done, yet I knew +that the woman would have died if she had let her alone; and I also knew +that worse things than that were done in the nunnery almost every day, +and that too by the very men who had taken her life. I left the chapel +with a firm resolve to make one more effort to escape from a thraldom +that everyday became more irksome. + +At the door the Abbess met me, and led me to a room I had never seen +before, where, to my great surprise, I found my bed. She said it was +removed by her order, and in future I was to sleep in that room. "What! +sleep here alone?" I exclaimed, quite forgetting, in the agitation of +the moment, the rule of silent obedience. But she did not condescend +to notice either my question or the unpleasant feelings which must have +been visible in my features. I did feel very much troubled. I had never +slept in a room alone a night in my life. Another nun always occupied +the room with me, and when she was absent, as she often was when under +punishment, the Abbess slept there, so that I was never alone. I did +not often meet the girl with whom I slept, as she did not work in the +kitchen, but whenever I did, I felt as pleased as though she had been my +sister. Yet I never spoke to her, nor did she ever attempt to converse +with me. Yes, strange as it may seem, incredible as my reader may think +it, it is a fact, that during all the years we slept together, not one +word ever passed between us. We did not even dare to communicate our +thoughts by signs, lest the Abbess should detect us. + +That night I spent in my new room; but I could not sleep. I had heard +strange hints about some room where no one could sleep, and where no one +liked to go, though for what reason I could never learn. When I first +entered, I discovered that the floor was badly stained, and, while +speculating on the cause of those stains, I came to the conclusion that +this was the room to which so much mystery was attached. It was +very dark, with no window in it, situated in the midst of the house, +surrounded by other rooms, and no means of ventilation except the door. +I did not close my eyes during the whole night. I imagined that the door +opened and shut, that persons were walking in the room, and I am +certain that I heard noises near my bed for which I could not account. +Altogether, it was the most uncomfortable night I ever spent, and +I believe that few persons would have felt entirely at ease in my +situation. + +To such a degree did these superstitious fears assail me, I felt as +though I would endure any amount of physical suffering rather than stay +there another night. Resolved to brave everything, I went to a priest +and asked permission to speak to him. It was an unusual thing, and I +think his curiosity was excited, for it was only in extreme cases that +a nun ventures to appeal to a priest When I told him my story, he seemed +much surprised, and asked by whose order my bed was moved to that room. +I informed him of all the particulars, when he ordered me to move my bed +back again. "No one," said he, "has slept in that room for years, and we +do not wish any one to sleep there." I accordingly moved the bed back, +and as I had permission from the priest, the Abbess dared not find fault +with me. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +STUDENTS AT THE ACADEMY. + +Through the winter I continued to work as usual, leading the same dull, +dreary, and monotonous life, varied only by pains, and privations. In +the spring a slight change was made in the household arrangements, and +for a short time I assisted some of the other nuns to do the chamber +work for the students at the academy. There was an under-ground passage +from the convent to the cellar of the academy through which we passed. +Before we entered, the doors and windows were securely fastened, and the +students ordered to leave their rooms, and not return again till we had +left. They were also forbidden to speak to us, but whenever the teachers +were away, they were sure to come back to their rooms, and ask us all +manner of questions. They wished to know, they said, how long we were +going to stay in the convent, if we really enjoyed the life we had +chosen, and were happy in our retirement; if we had not rather return +to the world, go into company, get married, etc. I suppose they really +thought that we could leave at any time if we chose. But we did not dare +to answer their questions, or let them know the truth. + +One day, when we went to do the work, we found in one of the rooms, some +men who were engaged in painting. They asked us if we were contented. +We did not dare to reply, lest they should betray us. They then began to +make remarks about us, some of which I well remember. One of them said, +"I don't believe they are used very well; they look as though they were +half starved." Another replied, "I know they do; there is certainly +something wrong about these convents, or the nuns would not all look so +pale and thin." I suspect the man little thought how much truth there +was in his remarks. + +Soon after the painters left we were all taken suddenly ill. Some were +worse than others, but all were unwell except one nun. As all exhibited +the same symptoms, we were supposed to have taken poison, and suspicion +fastened on that nun. She was put upon the rack, and when she saw that +her guilt could not be concealed, she confessed that she poisoned the +water in the well, but she would not tell what she put into it, nor +where she got it. She said she did not do it to injure the nuns, for she +thought they were allowed so little drink with their food, they would +not be affected by it, while those who drank more, she hoped to kill. +She disliked all the priests, and the Superior, and would gladly have +murdered them all. But for one priest in particular, she felt all the +hatred that a naturally malignant spirit, excited by repeated acts +of cruelty, is capable of. He had punished her repeatedly, and as she +thought, unjustly, and she resolved to avenge herself and destroy her +enemy, even though the innocent should suffer with the guilty. This was +all wrong, fearfully wrong we must admit. But while we look with +horror at the enormity of her crime let us remember that she had great +provocation. I hope there are few who could have sought revenge in the +way she did; yet I cannot believe that any one would endure from another +what she was compelled to suffer from that man, without some feelings of +resentment. Let us not judge too harshly this erring sister, for if +her crime was great, her wrongs were neither small nor few, and her +punishment was terrible. + +They tortured her a long time to make her tell what kind of poison she +put in the well, and where she obtained it. They supposed she must have +got it from the painters, but she would never tell where she procured +it. This fact proves that she had some generous feelings left. Under any +other circumstances such magnanimity would have been highly applauded, +and in my secret soul I could not but admire the firmness with which +she bore her sufferings. She was kept upon the rack until all her joints +were dislocated, and the flesh around them mortified. They then carried +her to her room, removed the bed, and laid her upon the bedcord. The +nuns were all assembled to look at her, and take warning by her sad +fate. Such a picture of misery I never saw before. She seemed to have +suffered even more than the old lady I saw in the cellar. It was but a +moment, however, that we were allowed to gaze upon her shrunken ghastly +features, and then she was hid from our sight forever. The nuns, +except two or three, were sent from the room, and thus the murder was +consummated. What else can we call it? + +There was one young student at the academy whose name was Smalley. He +was from New England, and his father lived at St. Albans, Vt., where he +had wealth and influence. This young man had a little sister who used to +visit at the convent, whom they called Sissy Smalley. She was young, but +handsome, witty and intelligent. For one of her age, she was very much +refined in her manners. They allowed her to go anywhere in the building +except the private apartments where those deeds of darkness were +performed which would not bear the pure light of heaven. I presume that +no argument could convince little Sissy Smalley that such rooms were +actually in the nunnery. She had been all over it, she would tell +you, and she never saw any torture rooms, never heard of any one being +punished, or anything of the kind. Such reports would appear to her as +mere slanders, yet God knows they are true. I well remember how I used +to shudder to hear that child praise the nunnery, tell what a nice, +quiet place it was, and how she would like it for a permanent home. I +hope her brother will find out the truth about it in season to prevent +his beautiful sister from ever becoming a nun. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + +SECOND ESCAPE FROM THE NUNNERY. + +It was early in the spring, when I again succeeded in making my escape. +It was on a Saturday evening, when the priests and nearly all the nuns +were In the chapel. I was assisted out of the yard in the same way I was +before, and by the same person. There was still snow upon the ground and +that they might not be able to track me, I entered the market and walked +the whole length of it without attracting observation. From thence I +crossed the street, when I saw a police officer coming directly towards +me. I turned down a dark alley and ran for my life, I knew not whither. +It is the duty of every police officer in Montreal to accompany any of +the sisters whom they chance to meet in the street, and I knew if he saw +me he would offer to attend me wherever I wished to go. Such an offer +might not be refused, and, certainly, his company, just at that time, +was neither desirable nor agreeable. + +At the end of the alley, I found myself near a large church, and two +priests were coming directly towards me. It is said "the drowning catch +at straws." Whether this be true or not, the plan which I adopted in +this emergency seemed as hopeless for my preservation, as a straw for +the support of the drowning. Yet it was the only course I could pursue, +for to escape unseen was impossible. I therefore resolved to go boldly +past them, and try to make them think I was a Superior going to church. +Trying to appear as indifferent as possible, I approached, and saluted +them in the usual way. This is done by throwing forward the open hand, +and passing it down by the side with a slight inclination of the head. +The priest returns the salutation by standing with uncovered head till +you have passed. In the present instance, the priest said, as he removed +his hat, "Church is in, Sister." I bowed again, and hastened on. With +trembling limbs I ascended the Church steps, and stood there till the +priests were out of sight. It was but a moment, yet it seemed a long +time. I knew the house was filled with priests and students, some of +whom would be sure to recognize me at once. What if they should come +out! The thought of it nearly took away my breath. The cold perspiration +started from my brow, and I felt as though I should faint. But my fears +were not realized, and as soon as the priests were out of sight, I went +on again. Soon I came to a cross street, leading to the river, where a +large hotel stood on the corner. I followed the river, and travelled all +night. The next day, fearing to be seen by people going to church, I hid +in a cellar hole, covered over with old boards and timbers. + +At night I went on again, and on Sunday evening about ten o'clock I came +to a small village where I resolved to seek food and lodging. Tired, +hungry and cold, feeling as though I could not take another step, I +called at one of the houses, and asked permission to stay over night. +It was cheerfully granted. The lady gave me some milk, and I retired to +rest. Next morning, I rose early and left before any of the family were +up. I knew they were all Romanists, and I feared to trust them. + +At noon that day I arrived at St. Oars, a town, named, as I have been +informed, for the man who owns a great part of it. I stopped at a public +house, which, they called, "Lady St. Oars," where they were eating +dinner. The landlady invited me to dine with them, and asked if I +belonged to the convent in that place. I told her that I did, for I knew +if I told the truth they would suspect me at once. "Do you eat meat?" +she asked. I told her I did not. "Do you eat butter on your bread?" I +replied in the affirmative, and she gave me a slice of bread and butter, +a piece of cheese and a silver cup full of milk. I ate it all, and would +gladly have eaten more, for I was very hungry. As I was about to leave, +the lady remarked, "There was grease in that cheese, was it a sin for me +to give it to you?" I assured her it was not, for I was allowed to eat +milk, and the cheese being made of milk, there could be no sin in my +eating it I told her that, so far from committing a sin, the blessed +Virgin was pleased with her benevolent spirit, and would, in some way, +reward her for her kindness. + +Leaving Lady St. Oars, I went on to the next town where I arrived at +seven in the evening. I called at the house of a Frenchman, and asked if +I could stay over night, or at least, be allowed to rest awhile. The man +said I was welcome to come in, but he had no place where I could sleep. +They were just sitting down to supper, which consisted of pea soup; +but the lady said there was meat in it, and she would not invite me +to partake of it; but she gave me a good supper of bread and milk. She +thought I was a Sister of Charity, and I did not tell her that I was +not. After supper, she saw that my skirt was stiff with mud, and kindly +offered to wash it out for me, saying, I could rest till it was dry. +I joyfully accepted her offer, and reclining in a corner, enjoyed a +refreshing slumber. + +It was near twelve o'clock before I was ready to go on again, and when +I asked how far it was to the next town, they manifested a great anxiety +for my welfare. The man said it was seven miles to Mt. Bly, but he hoped +I did not intend to walk. I told him I did not know whether I should or +not, perhaps I might ride. "But are you not afraid to go on alone?" he +asked. "St. Dennis is a bad place for a lady to be out alone at night, +and you must pass a grave-yard in the south part of the town; dare you +go by it, in the dark?" I assured him that I had no fear whatever, that +would prevent me from going past the grave-yard. I had never committed +a crime, never injured any one, and I did not think the departed would +come back to harm me. The lady said she would think of me with some +anxiety, for she should not dare to go past that grave-yard alone in the +dark. I again assured her that I had no cause to fear, had no crime on +my conscience, had been guilty of no neglect of duty, and if the living +would let me alone, I did not fear the dead. They thought I referred to +the low characters about town, and the lady replied, "I shall tell my +beads for you and the holy Virgin will protect you from all harm. But +remember," she continued, "whenever you pass this way, you will always +find a cordial welcome with us." I thanked her, and with a warm grasp of +the hand we parted. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + +LONELY MIDNIGHT WALK. + +It was near morning when I entered Mt. Bly, but I did not stop. I +traveled all night, and late in the morning came to a respectable +looking farmhouse which I thought might be occupied by Protestants. I +always noticed that their houses were neater, and more comfortable than +those of the Romanists in the same condition in life. In the present +instance I was not disappointed in my expectations. The lady received me +kindly, gave me some breakfast, and directed me to the next village. I +walked all day, and near night arrived at St. Mary's, where I called at +a house, and asked permission to sit and rest awhile. They gave me an +invitation to enter, but did not offer refreshments. I did not like +to ask for charity if I could avoid it, and I thought it possible they +might ask me to stay over night. But they did not, and after a half +hour's rest I rose to depart, and thanking them for their kindness +inquired how far it was to the next house. They said it was seven miles +to the first house, and nine to the next village. + +With a sad heart, I once more pursued my lonely way. Soon it began to +rain, and the night came on, dark and dismal, cold and stormy, with +a high wind that drove the rain against my face with pitiless fury. +I entered a thick wood where no ray of light could penetrate, and at +almost every step, I sank over shoes in the mud. Thus I wandered on, +reflecting bitterly on my wretched fate. All the superstitious fears, +which a convent life is so well calculated to produce, again assailed +me, and I was frightened at my own wild imaginings. I thought of the +nuns who had been murdered so cruelly, and I listened to the voice of +the storm, as to the despairing wail of a lost soul. The wind swept +fiercely through the leafless branches, now roaring like a tornado, +again rising to a shrill shriek, or a prolonged whistle, then sinking to +a hollow murmer, and dying away in a low sob which sounded to my excited +fancy like the last convulsive sigh of a breaking heart. Once and again +I paused, faint and dizzy with hunger and fatigue, feeling as though +I could go no further. But there was no alternative. I must go on or +perish. And go on I did, though, as I now look back upon that night's +experience, I wonder how I managed to do so. But a kind providence, +undoubtedly, watched over me, and good angels guided me on my way. Some +time in the night, I think it must have been past twelve o'clock, I +became so very weary I felt that I must rest awhile at all events. It +was so dark I could not see a step before me, but I groped my way to a +fence, seated myself on a stone with my head resting against the rails, +and in that position I fell asleep. + +How long I slept, I do not know. I think it must have been some hours. +When I awoke, my clothes were drenched with rain, and I was so stiff and +lame, I could hardly move. But go I must, so I resolved to make the +best of it, and hobble along as well as I could. At last I reached the +village, but it was not yet morning, and I dared not stop. I kept on +till daylight, and as soon as I thought people were up, I went up to +a house and rapped. A woman came to the door, and I asked if she would +allow me to go in, and dry my clothes, and I would have added, get some +breakfast, but her looks restrained me. They were getting breakfast, but +did not invite me to partake of it, and I dared not ask for anything to +eat. When my clothes were dry, I thanked them for the use of their fire, +and inquired how far it was to the next village. They said the next town +was Highgate, but they did not know the distance. + +My tears flowed freely when I again found myself in the street, cold, +hungry, almost sick, and entirely friendless. What should I do? What +would become of me? One thought alone gave courage to my desponding +heart, buoyed up my sinking spirits, and restored strength to my weary +limbs. I was striving for liberty, that priceless boon, so dear to every +human heart. I might, perhaps, obtain it. At least, I would try. + +Nerved to renewed effort by thoughts like these, I toiled onward. All +that day I walked without a particle of nourishment. When I reached +Highgate, it was eleven o'clock at night, but in one house I saw a +light, and I ventured to rap at the door. It was opened by a pale, but +pleasant looking woman. "Kind lady," said I, "will you please tell me +how far it is to the States?" "To the States!" she exclaimed, and in a +moment she seemed to understand both my character and situation. "You +are now in Vermont State," said she, "but come in child, you look sad +and weary." I at once accepted her offer, and when she asked how far I +was traveling, and how I came to be out so late, I did not hesitate +to reveal to her my secret, for I was sure she could be trusted. +She invited me to spend the remainder of the night, and gave me some +refreshment. She was nursing a sick woman, which accounted for her being +up so late, but did not prevent her from attending to all my wants, and +making me as comfortable as possible. When she saw that my feet were +wounded, badly swollen, and covered with blood and dirt, she procured +warm water, and with her own hands bathed, and made them clean, with the +best toilet soap. She expressed great sympathy for the sad condition my +feet were in, and asked if I had no shoes? I told her that my shoes were +made of cloth, and soon wore out; that what was left of them, I lost in +the mud, when traveling through the woods in the dark. She then procured +a pair of nice woollen stockings, and a pair of new shoes, some under +clothes, and a good flannel skirt, which she begged me to wear for her +sake. I accepted them gratefully, but the shoes I could not wear, my +feet were so sore. She said I could take them with me, and she gave me +a pair of Indian moccasins to wear till my feet were healed. Angel of +mercy that she was; may God's blessing rest upon her for her kindness to +the friendless wanderer. + +The next morning the good lady urged me to stay with her, at least, for +a time, and said I should be welcome to a home there for the rest of my +life. Grateful as I was for her offer, I was forced to decline it, for +I knew that I could not remain so near Montreal in safety. She said the +"select men" of the town would protect me, if they were made acquainted +with my peculiar situation. Dear lady! she little knew the character +of a Romish priest! Her guileless heart did not suspect the cunning +artifice by which they accomplish whatever they undertake. And those +worthy "select men," I imagine, were not much better informed than +herself. Sure I am, that any protection they could offer me, would +not, in the least degree, shield me from the secret intrigue, the +affectionate, maternal embrace of holy Mother Church. + +When she found that, notwithstanding all her offers, I was resolved to +go, she put into a basket, a change of clothing, the shoes she had given +me, and a good supply of food which she gave me for future use. But the +most acceptable part of her present was a sun-bonnet; for thus far I had +nothing on my head but the cap I wore in the convent. She gave me some +money, and bade me go to Swanton, and there, she said, I could take the +cars. I accordingly bade her farewell, and, basket in hand, directed my +steps toward the depot some seven miles distant, as I was informed; but +I thought it a long seven miles, as I passed over it with my sore feet, +the blood starting at every step. + +On my arrival at the depot, a man came to me, and asked where I wished +to go. I told him I wished to go as far into the State as my money would +carry me. He procured me a ticket, and said it would take me to St. +Albans. He asked me where I came from, but I begged to be excused from +answering questions. He then conducted me to the ladies room, and left +me, saying the cars would be along in about an hour. + +In this room, several ladies were waiting to take the cars. As I walked +across the room, one of them said, in a tone that grated harshly on my +feelings, "Your skirt is below your dress." I did not feel very good +natured, and instead of saying "thank you," as I should have done, I +replied in the most impudent manner, "Well, it is clean, if it is in +sight." The lady said no more, and I sat down upon a sofa and fell +asleep. As I awoke, one of the ladies said, "I wonder who that poor girl +is!" I was bewildered, and, for the moment, could not think where I was, +but I thought I must make some reply, and rousing myself I turned to +her, and said, "I am a nun, if you wish to know, and I have just escaped +from a convent." She gave me a searching look, and said, "Well, I must +confess you do look like one. I often visit in Montreal where I see a +great many of them, and they always look poor and pale. Will you allow +me to ask you a few questions?" By this time, I was wide awake, +and realized perfectly where I was, and the folly of making such an +imprudent disclosure. I would have given much to recall those few words, +for I had a kind of presentiment that they would bring me trouble. I +begged to be excused from answering any questions, as I was almost crazy +with thinking of the past and did not wish to speak of it. + +The lady said no more for some time, but she kept her eye upon me, in +a way that I did not like; and I began to consider whether I had better +wait for the cars, or start on foot. I was sorry for my imprudence, but +it could not be helped now, and I must do the best I could to avoid the +unpleasant consequences which might result from it. I had just made up +my mind to go on, when I heard in the far distance, the shrill whistle +of the approaching train; that train which I fondly hoped would bear me +far away from danger, and onward to the goal of my desires. + +At this moment, the lady crossed the room, and seating herself by my +side, asked, "Would you not like to go and live with me? I have one +waiting maid now, but I wish for another, and if you will go, I will +take you and give you good wages. Your work will not be hard; will you +go?" "Where do you go?" I asked. "To Montreal," she replied. "Then I +shall not go with you," said I. "No money could induce me to return +there again." "Ah!" said she, with a peculiar smile, "I see how it is, +but you need not fear to trust me. I will protect you, and never +suffer you to be taken back to the convent." I saw that I had made +unconsciously another imprudent revelation, and resolved to say no more. +I was about to leave her, but she drew me back saying, "I will give you +some of my clothes, and I can make them fit you so well that no one will +ever recognize you. I shall have plenty of time to alter them if they +require it, for the train that I go in, will not be along for about +three hours; you can help me, and in that time we will get you nicely +fixed." + +I could hardly repress a smile when I saw how earnest she was, and I +thought it a great pity that a plan so nicely laid out should be so +suddenly deranged, but I could not listen to her flatteries. I suspected +that she was herself in the employ of the priests, and merely wished to +get me back that she might betray me. She had the appearance of being +very wealthy, was richly clad, wore a gold watch, chain, bracelets, +breastpin, ear rings, and many finger rings, all of the finest gold. But +with all her wealth and kind offers, I dare not trust her. I thought she +looked annoyed when I refused to go with her, but when I rose to go +to the cars, a look of angry impatience stole over, her fine features, +which convinced me that I had escaped a snare. + +The cars came at length, and I was soon on my way to St. Albans. I was +very sick, and asked a gentleman near me to raise the windows. He did +so, and inquired how far I was going. I informed him, when he remarked +that he was somewhat acquainted in St. Albans, and asked with whom I +designed to stop. I told him I had no friends or acquaintance in the +place, but I hoped to get employment in some protestant family. He said +he could direct me to some gentlemen who would, he thought, assist me. +One in particular, he mentioned as being a very wealthy man, and kept a +number of servants; perhaps he would employ me. + +This gentleman's name was Branard, and my informant spoke so highly of +the family, I immediately sought them out on leaving the cars, and was +at once employed by Mrs. Branard, as a seamstress. Here I found a quiet, +happy home. Mrs. Branard was a kind sympathizing woman, and to her, I +confided the history of my convent life. She would not allow me to work +hard, for she saw that my nerves were easily excited. She made me sit +with her in her own room a great part of the time, and did not wish me +to go out alone. They had several boarders in the family, and one +of them was a brother-in-law [Footnote: This gentleman was Mr. Z. K. +Pangborn, late editor of the Worcester Daily Transcript. Both Mr. and +Mrs. Pangborn give their testimony of the truth of this statement.] to +Mrs. Branard. His name I have forgotten; it was not a common name, but +he married Mrs. Branard's sister, and with his wife resided there all +the time that I was with them. Mr. Branard was away from home most of +the time, so that I saw but little of him. They had an Irish girl in the +kitchen, named Betsy. She was a kind, pleasant girl, and she thought me +a strict Romanist because I said my prayers so often, and wore the Holy +Scapulary round my neck. This Scapulary is a band with a cross on one +side, and on the other, the letters "J. H. S." which signify, "Jesus The +Savior of Man." + +At this place I professed great regard for the Church of Rome, and no +one but Mrs. Branard was acquainted with my real character and history. +When they asked my name, I told them they could call me Margaret, but it +was an assumed name. My own, for reasons known only by myself, I did +not choose to reveal. I supposed, of course, they would regard me with +suspicion for a while, but I saw nothing of the kind. They treated me +with great respect, and no questions were ever asked. Perhaps I did +wrong in changing my name, but I felt that I was justified in using any +means to preserve my liberty. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +FLIGHT AND RECAPTURE. + +Four happy weeks I enjoyed unalloyed satisfaction in the bosom of this +charming family. It was a new thing for me to feel at home, contented, +and undisturbed; to have every one around me treat me with kindness and +even affection. I sometimes feared it was too good to last. Mrs. Branard +in particular, I shall ever remember with grateful and affectionate +regard. She was more like a mother to me, than a mistress, and I shall +ever look back to the time I spent with her, as a bright spot in the +otherwise barren desert of my life. Better, far better would it have +been for me had I never left her. But I became alarmed, and thought the +convent people were after me. It was no idle whim, no imaginary terror. +I had good cause to fear, for I had several times seen a priest go +past, and gaze attentively at the house. I knew him at the first glance, +having often seen him in Montreal. + +Then my heart told me that they had traced me to this place, and +were now watching a chance to get hold of me. Imagine, if you can, my +feelings. Had I suffered so much in vain? Would they be allowed to take +me back to those fearful cells, where no ray of mercy could ever reach +me? I could not endure the thought. Frightened, and almost beside +myself, I resolved to make an effort to find a more secure place. I +therefore left those kind friends in the darkness of night, without one +word of farewell, and without their knowledge. I knew they would not +allow me to go, if they were apprised of my design. In all probability, +they would have ridiculed my fears, and bade me rest in peace. How could +I expect them to comprehend my danger, when they knew so little of the +machination of my foes? I intended to go further into the state, but +did not wish to have any one know which way I had gone. It was a sad +mistake, but how often in this world do we plunge into danger when we +seek to avoid it! How often fancy ourselves in security when we stand +upon the very brink of ruin! + +I left Mr. Branard's in the evening, and called upon a family in the +neighborhood whose acquaintance I had made, and whom I wished to see +once more, though I dared not say farewell. I left them between the +hours of nine and ten, and set forward on my perilous journey. I had +gone but a short distance when I heard the sound of wheels and the heavy +tread of horses' feet behind me. My heart beat with such violence it +almost stopped my breath, for I felt that they were after me. But there +was no escape--no forest or shelter near where I could seek protection. +On came the furious beasts, driven by no gentle hand. They came up with +me, and I almost began to hope that my fears were groundless, when the +horses suddenly stopped, a strong hand grasped me, a gag was thrust into +my mouth, and again the well-known box was taken from the wagon. Another +moment and I was securely caged, and on my way back to Montreal. Two men +were in the wagon and two rode on horseback beside it. Four men to guard +one poor nun! + +They drove to Mt. Bly, where they stopped to change horses, and the two +men on horseback remained there, while the other two mounted the wagon +and drove to Sorel. Here the box was taken out and carried on board a +boat, where two priests were waiting for me. When the boat started, they +took me out for the first time after I was put into it at St. Albans. +Three days we had been on the way, and I had tasted neither food nor +drink. How little did I think when I took my tea at Mr. Branard's the +night I left that it was the last refreshment I would have for SEVEN +DAYS; yet such was the fact. And how little did they think, as they lay +in their quiet beds that night, that the poor fugitive they had taken to +their home was fleeing for life, or for that which, to her, was better +than life. Yet so it was. Bitterly did I reproach myself for leaving +those kind friends as I did, for I thought perhaps if I had remained +there, they would not have dared to touch me. Such were my feelings +then; but as I now look back, I can see that it would have made little +difference whether I left or remained. They were bound to get me, at all +events, and if I had stopped there until they despaired of catching me +secretly, they would undoubtedly have come with an officer, and accused +me of some crime, as a pretext for taking me away. Then, had any one +been so far interested for me as to insist on my having a fair trial, +how easy for them to produce witnesses enough to condemn me! Those +priests have many ways to accomplish their designs. The American people +don't know them yet; God grant they never may. + +On my arrival at the nunnery I was taken down the coal grate, and +fastened to an iron ring in the back part of a cell. The Archbishop then +came down and read my punishment. Notwithstanding the bitter grief that +oppressed my spirit, I could not repress a smile of contempt as the +great man entered my cell. I remembered that before I ran away, my +punishments were assigned by a priest, but the first time I fled from +them a Bishop condescended to read my sentence, and now his honor the +Archbishop graciously deigned to illume my dismal cell with the light of +his countenance, and his own august lips pronounced the words of doom. +Was I rising in their esteem, or did they think to frighten me into +obedience by the grandeur of his majestic mien? + +Such were my thoughts as this illustrious personage proceeded slowly, +and with suitable dignity, to unroll the document that would decide my +fate. What would it be? Death? It might be for aught I knew, or cared +to know. I had by this time become perfectly reckless, and the whole +proceeding seemed so ridiculous, I found it exceedingly difficult to +maintain a demeanor sufficiently solemn for the occasion. But when +the fixed decree came forth, when the sentence fell upon my ear that +condemned me to SEVEN DAYS' STARVATION, it sobered me at once. Yet even +then the feeling of indignation was so strong within me, I could not +hold my peace. I would speak to that man, if he killed me for it. +Looking him full in the face (which, by the way, I knew was considered +by him a great crime), I asked, "Do you ever expect to die?" I did not, +of course, expect an answer, but he replied, with a smile, "Yes; but +you will die first." He then asked how long I had fasted, and I replied, +"Three days." He said, "You will fast four days more, and you will be +punished every day until next December, when you will take the black +veil." As he was leaving the room, he remarked, "We do not usually have +the nuns take the black veil until they are twenty-one; but you have +such good luck in getting away, we mean to put you where you can't do +it." And with this consoling thought he left me--left me in darkness and +despair, to combat, as best I could, the horrors of starvation. This +was in the early part of winter, and only about a year would transpire +before I entered that retreat from which none ever returned. And then to +be punished every day for a year! What a prospect! The priest came every +morning, with his dark lantern, to look at me; but he never spoke. On +the second day after my return, I told him if he would bring me a little +piece of bread, I would never attempt to run away again, but would serve +him faithfully the rest of my life. Had he given it to me, I would have +faithfully kept my word; but he did not notice me, and closing the door, +he left me once more to pass through all the agonies of starvation. +I remember nothing after that day. Whether I remained in the cell the +other two days, or was taken out before the time expired, I do not know. +This much, however, I do know, as a general rule a nun's punishment is +never remitted. If she lives, it is well; if she dies, no matter; there +are enough more, and no one will ever call them to an account for the +murder. + +But methinks I hear the reader ask, "Did they not fear the judgment of +God and a future retribution?" In reply I can only state what I believe +to be the fact. It is my firm belief that not more than one priest in +ten thousand really believes in the truth of Christianity, or even in +the existence of a God. They are all Infidels or Atheists; and how can +they be otherwise? It is the legitimate fruit of that system of deceit +which they call religion. Of course I only give this as my opinion, +founded on what I have seen and heard. You can take it, reader, for what +it is worth; believe it or not, just us you please; but I assure you I +have often heard the nuns say that they did not believe in any religion. +The professions of holiness of heart and parity of life so often made +by the priests they KNOW to be nothing but a hypocritical pretence, and +their ceremonies they regard as a ridiculous farce. + +For some time after I was taken from the cell I lay in a state of +partial unconsciousness, but how long, I do not know. I have no +recollection of being taken up stairs, but I found myself on my bed, in +my old room, and on the stand beside me were several cups, vials, etc. +The Abbess who sat beside me, occasionally gave me a tea-spoonful +of wine or brandy, and tried to make me eat. Ere long, my appetite +returned, but it was several weeks before my stomach was strong enough +to enable me to satisfy in any degree, the cravings of hunger. When I +could eat, I gained very fast, and the Abbess left me in the care of +a nun, who came in occasionally to see if I wanted anything. This nun +often stopped to talk with me, when she thought no one was near, and +expressed great curiosity to know what I saw in the world; if people +were kind to me, and if I did not mean to get away again, if possible, I +told her I should not; but she replied, "I don't believe that. You will +try again, and you will succeed yet, if you keep up good courage. You +are so good to work, they do not wish to part with you, and that is one +reason why they try so hard to get you back again. But never mind, +they won't get you next time." I assured her I should not try to escape +again, for they were sure to catch me, and as they had almost killed me +this time, they would quite the next. I did not dare to trust her, for I +supposed the Superior had given her orders to question me. + +I was still weak, so weak that I could hardly walk when they obliged me +to go into the kitchen to clean vegetables and do other light work, and +as soon as I had sufficient strength, to milk the cows, and take the +care of the milk. They punished me every day, in accordance with the +Bishop's order, and sometimes, I thought, more than he intended. I wore +thorns on my head, and peas in my shoes, was whipped and pinched, burnt +with hot irons, and made to crawl through the underground passage I +have before described. In short, I was tortured and punished in every +possible way, until I was weary of my life. Still they were careful not +to go so far as to disable me from work. They did not care how much I +suffered, if I only performed my daily task. + +There was an underground passage leading from the nunnery to a place +which they called, "Providence," in the south part of the city. I do not +know whether it is a school, or a convent, or what it is, but I think it +must be some distance, from what I heard said about it. The priest often +spoke of sending me there, but for some reason, he did not make me +go. Still the frequent reference to what I so much dreaded, kept me +in constant apprehension and alarm. I have heard the priest say that +underground passages extended from the convent in every direction, for +a distance of five miles; and I have reason to believe the statement is +true. But these reasons I may not attempt to give. There are things that +may not even be alluded to, and if it were possible to speak of them, +who would believe the story? + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +RESOLVES TO ESCAPE. + +As summer approached, I expected to be sent to the farm again, but for +some reason I was still employed in the kitchen. Yet I could not keep +my mind upon my work. The one great object of my life; the subject that +continually pressed upon my mind was the momentous question, how shall +I escape? The dreaded December was rapidly approaching. To some it +would bring a joyous festival, but to me, the black veil and a life long +imprisonment. Once within those dreary walls, and I might as well hope +to escape from the grave. Such are the arrangements, there is no chance +for a nun to escape unless she is promoted to the office of Abbess or +Superior. Of course, but few of them can hope for this, especially, +if they are not contented; and certainly, in my case there was not the +least reason to expect anything of the kind. Knowing these facts, with +the horrors of the Secret Cloister ever before me, I felt some days as +though on the verge of madness. Before the nuns take the black veil, and +enter this tomb for the living, they are put into a room by themselves, +called the forbidden closet, where they spend six months in studying the +Black Book. Perchance, the reader will remember that when I first +came to this nunnery, I was taken by the door-tender to this forbidden +closet, and permitted to look in upon the wretched inmates. From that +time I always had the greatest horror of that room. I was never allowed +to enter it, and in fact never wished to do so, but I have heard the +most agonizing groans from those within, and sometimes I have heard them +laugh. Not a natural, hearty laugh, however, such as we hear from the +gay and happy, but a strange, terrible, sound which I cannot describe, +and which sent a thrill of terror through my frame, and seemed to chill +the very blood in my veins. + +I have heard the priests say, when conversing with each other, while I +was tidying their room, that many of these nuns lose their reason while +studying the Black Book. I can well believe this, for never in my +life did I ever witness an expression of such unspeakable, unmitigated +anguish, such helpless and utter despair as I saw upon the faces of +those nuns. And well they may despair. Kept under lock and key, their +windows barred, and no air admitted to the room except what comes +through the iron grate of their windows from other apartments; compelled +to study, I know not what; with no hope of the least mitigation of their +sufferings, or relaxation of the stringent rules that bind them; no +prospect before them but a life-long imprisonment; what have they to +hope for? Surely, death and the grave are the only things to which they +can look forward with the least degree of satisfaction. + +Those nuns selected for this Secret Cloister are generally the fairest, +the most beautiful of the whole number. I used to see them in the +chapel, and some of them were very handsome. They dressed like the other +nuns, and always looked sad and broken hearted, but were not pale +and thin like the rest of us. I am sure they were not kept upon short +allowance as the others were, and starvation was not one of their +punishments, whatever else they might endure. The plain looking girls +were always selected to work in the kitchen, and do the drudgery about +the house. How often have I thanked God for my plain face! But for that, +I might not have been kept in the kitchen so long, and thus found means +to escape which I certainly could not have found elsewhere. + +With all my watching, and planning I did not find an opportunity to get +away till June. I then, succeeded in getting outside the convent yard +one evening between eight and nine o'clock. How I got there, is a secret +I shall never reveal. A few yards from the gate I was stopped by one of +the guard at the Barrack, who asked where I was going. "To visit a sick +woman," I promptly replied, and he let me pass. Soon after this, before +my heart ceased to flutter, I thought I heard some one running after +me. My resolution was at once taken. I would never be caught and carried +back alive. My fate was at last, I thought, in my own hands. Better die +at once than to be chained like a guilty criminal, and suffer as I had +done before. Blame me not gentle reader, when I tell you that I stood +upon the bank of the river with exultant joy; and, as I pursued my +way along the tow-path, ready to spring into the water on the first +indication of danger, I rejoiced over the disappointment of my pursuers +in losing a servant who had done them so good service. At a little +distance I saw a ferry boat, but when I asked the captain to carry me +over the river, he refused. He was, probably, afraid of the police and +a fine, for no one can assist a run-away nun with impunity, if caught in +the act. He directed me, however, to the owner of the boat, who said I +could go if the captain was willing to carry me. I knew very well that +he would not, and I took my place in the boat as though I had a perfect +right to it. + +We were almost across the river, when the captain saw me, and gave +orders to turn back the boat, and leave me on the shore from whence we +started. From his appearance I thought we were pursued, and I was not +mistaken. Five priests were following us in another boat, and they too, +turned back, and reached the shore almost as soon as we did. I left the +boat and ran for my life. I was now sure that I was pursued; there could +be no doubt of that, for the sound of footsteps behind me came distinct +to my ear. At a little distance stood a small, white house. Could I not +reach it? Would not the people protect me? The thought gave me courage, +and I renewed my efforts. Nearer came the footsteps, but I reached the +house, and without knocking, or asking permission, I sprang through the +door. + +The people were in bed, in another room, but a man looked out, and +asked what I wanted. "I'm a nun," said I. "I've run away from the Grey +Nunnery, and they're after me. Hide me, O hide me, and God will bless +you!" As I spoke he put out his hand and opened the cellar door. "Here," +said he, "run down cellar, I'll be with you in a moment." I obeyed, and +he struck a light and followed. Pointing to a place where he kept ashes, +he said hastily, "Crawl in there." There was not a moment to lose, for +before he had covered up my hiding place, a loud knock was heard upon +the front door. Having extinguished his light, he ran up stairs, and +opened the door with the appearance of having just left his bed. "Who is +here?" he asked, "and what do you want this time of night?" One of +them replied, "We are in search of a nun, and are very sure she came in +here?" "Well gentlemen," said he, "walk in, and see for yourselves. +If she is here, you are at liberty to find her." Lighting a candle, he +proceeded to guide them over the house, which they searched until they +were satisfied. They then came down cellar, and I gave up all hope of +escape. Still, I resolved never to be taken alive. I could strangle +myself, and I would do it, rather than suffer as I did before. At that +moment I could truly say with the inspired penman, with whose language +I have since become familiar, "my soul chooseth strangling and death +rather than life." + +They looked all around me, and even into the place where I lay +concealed, but they did not find me. At length I heard them depart, +and so great was my joy, I could hardly restrain my feelings within the +bounds of decorum. I felt as though I must dance and sing, shout +aloud or leap for joy at my great deliverance. I am sure I should have +committed some extravagant act had not the gentleman at that moment +called me up, and told me that my danger was by no means past. This +information so dashed my cup of bliss that I was able to drink it +quietly. + +He gave me some refreshment, and as soon as safety would permit, saddled +his horse, and taking me on behind him, carried me six miles to another +boat, put me on board, and paid the captain three dollars to carry me +to Laprairie. On leaving me, he gave me twenty-five cents, and said, +"you'll be caught if you go with the other passengers." The captain said +he could hide me and no one know that I was on board, but himself. He +led me to the end of the boat, and put me upon a board over the horses. +He fixed a strong cord for me to hold on by, and said, "you must be +careful and not fall down, for the horses would certainly kill you +before you could be taken out." The captain was very kind to me and when +I left him, gave me twenty-five cents, and some good advice. He said +I must hurry along as fast as possible, for it was Jubilee, and the +priests would all be in church at four o'clock. He also advised me not +to stop in any place where a Romish priest resided, "for," said he, +"the convent people have, undoubtedly, telegraphed all over the country +giving a minute description of your person, and the priests will all be +looking for you." + +Two days I travelled as fast as my strength would allow, when I came +to Sorel, which was on the other side of the river. Here I saw several +priests on the road coming directly towards me. That they were after me, +I had not a doubt. Whither should I flee? To escape by running, was out +of the question, but just at that moment my eye fell upon a boat near +the shore. I ran to the captain, and asked him to take me across the +river. He consented, and, as I expected, the priests took another boat +and followed us. Once more I gave myself up for lost, and prepared +to spring into the water, if they were likely to overtake me. The man +understood my feelings, and exerted all his strength to urge forward +the boat. At last it reached the shore, and as he helped me out he +whispered, "Now run." I did run, but though my own liberty was at +stake I could not help thinking about the consequences to that man if +I escaped, for I knew they would make him pay a heavy fine for his +benevolent act. A large house stood in my way, and throwing open the +door I exclaimed, "Are there any protestants here?" "O, yes," replied +a man who sat there, "come with me." He led me to the kitchen, where a +large company of Irish men were rolling little balls on a table. I saw +the men were Irish and my first thought was, "I am betrayed." + +But my fears were soon relieved, for the man exclaimed, "Here is a +nun, inquiring for protestants." "Well," replied one who seemed to be +a leader, "this is the right place to find them. We are all true Orange +men." And then they all began to shout, "Down with the Catholics! Down +with the Pope! Death to the Jesuits! etc." I was frightened at their +violence, but their leader came to me, and with the kindness of a +brother, said, "Do not fear us. If you are a run-away, we will protect +you." He bade the men be still and asked if any one was after me. I told +him about the priests, and he replied, "you have come to the right place +for protection, for they dare not show themselves here. I am the leader +of a band of Anti-Catholics, and this is their lodge. You have heard of +us, I presume; we are called Orange men. Our object is, to overthrow the +Roman Catholic religion, and we are bound by the most fearful oaths to +stand by each other, and protect all who seek our aid. The priests dread +our influence, for we have many members, and I hope ere long, the power +of the Pope in this country will be at an end. I am sure people must see +what a cruel, hypocritical set they are." + +Before he had done speaking, a man came to the door and said, "The +carriage is ready." Another of the men, on hearing this, said, "Come +with me, and I'll take you out of the reach of the priests." He +conducted me to a carriage, which was covered and the curtains all +fastened down. He helped me into it, directing me to sit upon the back +seat, where I could not be seen by any one unless they took particular +pains. He drove to St. Oars that night, and, if I remember right, +he said the distance was twelve miles. When, he left me he gave me +twenty-five cents. I travelled all night, and about midnight passed +through St. Dennis, But I did not stop until the next morning, when I +called at a house and asked for something to eat. The lady gave me some +bread and milk, and I again pursued my way. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +EVENTFUL JOURNEY. + +Once more I had the good fortune to obtain a passage across the river in +a ferry-boat, and was soon pressing onward upon the other side. Passing +through two places called St. Mary's and St. John's, I followed the +railroad to a village which I was informed was called Stotsville, +[Footnote: I beg leave once more to remind the reader that it is by +no means certain that I give these names correctly. Hearing them +pronounced, with no idea of ever referring to them again, it is not +strange that mistakes of this kind should occur.] a great part of the +property being owned by a Mr. Stots, to whom I was at once directed. +Here I stopped, and was kindly received by the gentleman and his wife. +They offered me refreshments, gave me some articles of clothing, and +then he carried me twelve miles, and left me at Rouse's Point, to take +the cars for Albany. He gave me six dollars to pay my expenses, and a +letter of introduction to a gentleman by the name of Williams, in which +he stated all the facts he knew concerning me, and commended me to his +care for protection. I think he said Mr. Williams lived on North +Pearl street, but I may be mistaken in this and also in some other +particulars. As I had no thought of relating these facts at the time of +their occurrence, I did not fix them in my mind as I otherwise should +have done. + +Mr. Stots said that if I could not find the gentleman to whom the letter +was directed, I was to take it to the city authorities, and they would +protect me. As he assisted me from the carriage he said, "You will stop +here until the cars come along, and you must get your own ticket. I +shall not notice you again, and I do not wish you to speak to me." I +entered the depot intending to follow his directions; but when I found +the cars would not come along for three hours, I did not dare to stay. +There was quite a large collection of people there, and I feared that +some one would suspect and stop me. I therefore resolved to follow the +railroad, and walk on to the next station. On my way I passed over a +railroad bridge, which I should think was two miles long. The wind blew +very hard at the time, and I found it exceedingly difficult to walk +upon the narrow timbers. More than once I came near losing my precarious +footing, and I was in constant fear that the train would overtake me +before I got over. In that case I had resolved to step outside the track +where I thought I could stand upon the edge of the bridge and hold on +by the telegraph poles, and thus let them pass without doing me injury. +Happily, however, I was not compelled to resort to this perilous +expedient, but passed the bridge in safety. At the end I found another +nearly as long, connected with it by a drawbridge. When I drew near it +was up for a boat to pass; but a man called to me, and asked if I +wish to go over. I told him I did, and he let down the bridge. As I +approached him he asked, "Are you mad? or how came you here?" I told +him I had walked from the depot at Rouse's Point. He appeared greatly +surprised, and said, "You are the first person who ever walked over +that bridge. Will you come to my house and rest awhile? You must be very +weary, and my wife will be glad to see you. She is rather lonely +here, and is pleased to see any one. Will you come? 'Tis only a short +distance, just down under the bridge." Those last words decided me. I +thanked him, but firmly refused to go one step out of my way. I thought +that he wished to deceive me, perhaps take me to some out-of-the-way +place, and give me up to my pursuers. At all events, it was wise not to +trust him, for I was sure there was no house near the bridge, certainly +not under it. I have since learned that such is the fact. As I turned to +leave him, he again urged me to stop, and said, "The cars will soon be +along, and they will run over you. How do you expect to get out of their +way?" I told him I would risk it, and left him. I passed on in safety, +and soon came to the depot, where I took the evening train for Albany. +At eight the same evening I left the cars, and walked on towards Troy, +which I think was four miles distant. Here I met a lad, of whom I +inquired the way to Albany. "You cannot get there to-night," said he, +"and I advise you not to try." When he saw that I was determined to go +on, he said I would pass a tavern called the half-way house, and if I +was tired I could stop there. It was about eleven o'clock when I passed +this house, There were several persons on the piazza, laughing, talking, +and singing, who called me as I passed, shouted after me, and bade me +stop. Exceedingly frightened, I ran with all possible speed, but they +continued to call after me till I was out of hearing. Seeing a light +at a house near by, I ventured to rap on the door. It was opened by a +woman, who asked me to walk in. I inquired the distance to Albany. She +informed me, but said, "You can't go there to-night." I told her I must, +"Well," said she, "if you will go, the watch will take care of you when +you get there." She then asked, "Were those men calling after you?" I +told her I supposed they were, when she replied, with a peculiar smile, +"I guess you can't be a very nice kind of girl, or you wouldn't be on +the street this time of night." My feelings were so deeply wounded I +could hardly restrain my tears at this cruel insinuation; but pride came +to my aid, and, choking down the rising emotion, I replied as carelessly +as possible, "I must do as I can, and not as I would." + +It was about one o'clock at night when I entered the principal street in +Albany, and, as the lady predicted, a watchman came to me and asked why +I was out that time of night. I gave him Mr. Stot's letter. He stood +beside a lamp-post and read it, when he seemed satisfied, and said, "I +know the man; come with me and I'll take you to his house." I followed +him a long way, till at last he stopped before a large house, and rang +the bell. Mr. Williams came to the door, and asked what was wanted. The +watchman gave him the letter. He read it, and invited me to stop. His +wife got up, received me very kindly, and gave me some supper, for +which I was truly grateful. Nor was I less thankful for the delicate +consideration with which they avoided any allusion to my convent life, +or my subsequent flight and suffering. Mrs. Williams saw that I was sad +and weary, and as she conducted me to a comfortable bed, she remarked, +"You are safe at last, and I am glad of it. You can now retire without +the apprehension of danger, and sleep in perfect security. You are with +friends who will protect you as long as you choose to remain with us." + +Notwithstanding the good lady's assurance of safety, I found it +impossible to close my eyes. I was among strangers, in a strange place, +and, having been so often deceived, might I not be again? Perhaps, after +all their pretended kindness, they were plotting to betray me. A few +days, however, convinced me that I had at last found real friends, who +would protect me in the hour of danger to the utmost of their ability. + +I remained here some four weeks, and should have remained longer, but an +incident transpired that awakened all my fears, and again sent me forth +into the wide world, a fugitive, and a wanderer. I went to my chamber +one night, when I heard a sound like the full, heavy respiration of a +man in deep sleep. The sound appeared to come from under the bed, but +stopped as I entered the room. I was very much alarmed, but I controlled +my feelings, and instead of running shrieking from the room, I +deliberately closed the blinds, shut the windows, adjusted the curtain, +all the time carelessly humming a tune, and taking up my lamp I +slowly left the room. Once outside the door, I ran in all haste to Mr. +Williams, and told him what I had heard. He laughed at me, said it was +all imagination, but, to quiet my fears, he went to my room resolved +to convince me that no one was there. I followed, and stood at the door +while he lifted the bed valance, when a large, tall man sprang forth, +and caught him with one hand while with the other he drew a pistol +from beneath his coat saying, "Let me go, and I'll depart in peace; but +attempt to detain me, and I'll blow your brains out." I shrieked, and +Mrs. Williams came in great terror and consternation, to see what was +the matter. But she could render no assistance, and Mr. Williams, being +unarmed, was obliged to let him go. The watch were immediately called, +and they sought for the intruder in every direction. No effort was +spared to find him, that we might, at least, learn the object of +this untimely visit. But the search was all in vain. No trace of his +whereabouts could be discovered. + +Mr. Williams said he did not believe it was me he sought. He thought the +object was robbery, and perhaps arson and murder, but he would not +think that I was in the least danger. "The man," he said, "in hastily +concealing himself had taken the first hiding place he could find." Yet +I thought otherwise. Indeed, so sure was I that he was an agent of the +priests, sent forth for the express purpose of arresting me, no earthly +consideration would have induced me to remain there another day. The +rest of that night I spent in a state of anxiety I cannot describe. +Sleep fled from my eyes. I dared not even undress and go to bed, but I +sat in my chair, or walked the room every moment expecting the return +of the mysterious visitor. I shuddered at every sound, whether real or +imaginary. Once in particular, I remember, the distant roll of carriage +wheels fell upon my ear. I listened; it came near, and still nearer, +till at last it stopped, as I thought, at the gate. For a moment I stood +literally stupified with terror, and then I hastily prepared to use the +means for self destruction I had already provided in anticipation of +such an emergency. I was still resolved never to be taken alive. "Give +me liberty or give me death," was now the language of my soul. If I +could not enjoy the one, I would cordially embrace the other. But it was +a sad alternative after all I had suffered that I might be free, after +all my buoyant hopes, all my ardent aspirations for a better life. O, it +was a bitter thing, thus to stand in the darkness of night, and with my +own hand carefully adjust the cord that was to cut me off from the land +of the living, and in a moment launch my trembling soul into the vast, +unknown, untried, and fearful future, that men call eternity! Was this +to be the only use I was to make of liberty? Was it for this I had so +long struggled, toiled, wept and prayed? "God of mercy," I cried, "save, +O save me from this last great sin! From the sad and dire necessity +which thus urges me to cut short a life which thou alone canst give!" +My prayer was heard; but how slowly passed the hours of that weary night +while I waited for the day that I might "hasten my escape from the windy +storm and tempest." Truly, at that time I could say with one of old, +"Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror hath overwhelmed +me. My heart is sore pained within me, and the terrors of death are +fallen upon me. Oh that I had the wings of a dove, for then would I flee +away, and be at rest." + +But alas! I had not the wings of a dove, and whither should I flee from +the furious grasp of my relentless persecutors? Again I must go forth +into the "busy haunts of men," I must mingle with the multitude, and +what chance had I for ultimate escape? If I left these kind friends, and +leave them I must, who would take me in? In whom could I confide? Who +would have the power to rescue me in my hour of need? In God alone could +I trust, yet why is he so far from helping me? Why are my prayers so +long unanswered? And why does he thus allow the wicked to triumph; to +lay snares for the feet of the innocent, and wrongfully persecute those +whom their wanton cruelty hath caused to sit in darkness and in the +shadow of death? Why does he not at once "break the bands of iron, and +let the oppressed go free?" + +The tedious night at length passed away. When I met Mr. Williams in the +morning, I told him I could no longer remain with him, for I was sure +if I did, I should be suddenly arrested in some unguarded moment, and +carried back to Montreal. He urged me to stay, assured me he would never +allow them to take me, said that he thought some of going south, and I +could go with him, and thus be removed far from all whom I feared. Mrs. +Williams, also, strove to persuade me to stay. But, though sorry to +appear ungrateful, I dared not remain another night where I felt that my +danger was so great. + +When they found that I was determined to go, Mr. Williams said I +had better go to Worcester, Mass., and try to get employment in some +farmer's family, a little out of the city. He gave me money to bear my +expenses, until I found a place where I could earn my living. It was +with a sad heart that I left this hospitable roof, and as I turned away +I said in my heart, "Shall I always be hunted through the world in this +manner, obliged to flee like a guilty thing, and shall I never find +a home of happiness and peace? Must sorrow and despair forever be the +portion of my cup?" But no words of mine can describe what I felt at +that moment. I longed for the power to sound a warning through the +length and breadth of the land, to cry in the ears of all the people, +"Beware of Romanism!" Like the patient man of Uz, with whose history +I have since become familiar, I was ready to exclaim, "O that my words +were now written! O that they were printed in a book! Graven with an +iron pen," that the whole world might know what a fearful and bitter +thing it is to be a nun! To be subject to the control of those ruthless +tyrants, the Romish Priests. + +Once more I entered the depot, and mingled with the crowd around the +ticket office. But no pen can describe my terror when I found myself the +object of particular attention. I heard people remark about my strange +and unnatural appearance, and I feared I might be taken up for a crazy +person, if not for a nun. Thinking that I saw an enemy in every face, +and a pursuer in every one who came near me, I hastened to take refuge +in the cars. There I waited with the greatest impatience for the +starting of the train. Slowly the cars were filled; very leisurely the +passengers sought their seats, while I sat trembling in every limb, and +the cold perspiration starting from every pore. How carefully I scanned +every face! how eagerly I watched for some indication of the priest or +the spy! So intense was my anxiety, those few moments seemed to me an +age of agony. At length the shrill whistle announced that all was ready, +and like sweetest music the sound fell upon my ears. The train dashed +off at lightning speed, but to me it seemed like the movement of a +snail. + +Once under way, I ventured to breathe freely, and hope again revived. +Perchance I might yet escape. But even as the thought passed my mind, a +man entered the cars and seated himself directly, before me. I thought +he regarded me with too much interest, and thinking to shun him, I +quietly left my seat and retired to the other end of the car. He soon +followed, and again my fears revived. He at first tried to converse with +me, but finding I would not reply, he began to question me in the most +direct and impertinent manner. Again I changed my seat, and again he +followed. I then sought the conductor, and revealed to him enough of my +history to enlist his sympathy and ensure his protection. To his honor +be it spoken, I did not appeal to him in vain. He severely reproved the +man for his impertinence; and for the rest of the journey I was shielded +from insult or injury. + +Nothing further of interest transpired until I reached Worcester, when +the first face that met my eye as I was about to leave the cars was that +of a Romish priest. I could not be mistaken, for I had often seen him +at Montreal. He might not have been looking for me, but he watched every +passenger as they left the cars in a way that convinced me he had some +special reason for doing it. As I, too, had special reasons for avoiding +him just at that time, I stepped back out of sight until the passengers +were all out of the cars and the priest had turned away. I then sprang +out upon the opposite side, and, turning my back upon the depot, +hastened away amid the wilderness of houses, not knowing whither I went. +For a long time I wandered around, until at length, being faint and +weary, I began to look for some place where I could obtain refreshment. +But when I found a restaurant I did not dare to enter. A number of +Irishmen were standing around who were in all probability Catholics. I +would not venture among them; but as I turned aside I remembered that +Mr. Williams had directed me to seek employment a little out of the +city. I then inquired the way to Main street, and having found it, I +turned to the north and walked on till I found myself out of the thickly +settled part of the city. Then I began to seek for employment, and after +several fruitless applications I chanced to call upon a man whose name +was Handy. He received me in the kindest manner, and when I asked for +work, he said his wife did not need to hire me, but I was welcome to +stop with them and work for my board until I found employment elsewhere. +This offer I joyfully accepted; and, as I became acquainted in the +place, many kind hands were extended to aid me in my efforts to obtain +an honest living. In this neighborhood I still reside, truly thankful +for past deliverance, grateful for present mercies, and confidently +trusting God for the future. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + +CONCLUSION. + +Here closes the history of Sarah J. Richardson, as related by herself. +The remaining particulars have been obtained from her employers in +Worcester. + +She arrived in this city August, 1854, and, as she has already stated, +at once commenced seeking for employment. She called at many houses +before she found any one who wished for help; and her first question +at each place was, "Are you a Catholic?" If the answer was in the +affirmative, she passed on, but if the family were Protestants, she +inquired for some kind of employment. She did not care what it was; she +would cook, wash, sew, or do chamber-work--anything to earn her bread. A +Mr. Handy was the first person who took her in, and gave her a home. +In his family she worked for her board a few weeks, going out to wash +occasionally as she had opportunity. She then went to Holden Mass., but +for some reason remained only one week, and again returned to Worcester. + +Mr. Ezra Goddard then took her into his own family, and found her +capable, industrious, and trustworthy. Had anything been wanting to +prove her truthfulness and sincerity, the deep gratitude of her fervent +"I thank you," when told that she had found a permanent home, would +have done it effectually. But though her whole appearance indicated +contentment and earnestness of purpose, though her various duties +were faithfully and zealously performed, yet the deep sadness of her +countenance, and the evident anxiety of her mind at first awakened a +suspicion of mental derangement. She seemed restless, suspicious, +and morbidly apprehensive of approaching danger. The appearance of a +stranger, or a sudden ringing of the bell, would cause her to start, +tremble, and exhibit the greatest perturbation of spirit. In fact, she +seemed so constantly on the qui vive, the lady of the house one day said +to her, "Sarah, what is the matter with you? what do you fear?" "The +Roman Catholic priests," she replied. "I have been a nun. I ran away +from the Grey Nunnery at Montreal, and twice I have been caught, carried +back, and punished in the most cruel manner. O, if you knew what I have +suffered, you would not wonder that I live in constant fear lest they +again seek out my retreat; and I will die before I go back again." + +Further questioning drew from her the foregoing narrative, which she +repeated once and again to various persons, and at different times, +without the least alteration or contradiction. She resided in the family +of Mr. Goddard some weeks, when she was taken into the employ of Mr. +Amos L. Black. + +This gentleman informs us that he found her a faithful, industrious, +honest servant, and he has not the least doubt of the truthfulness of +her statements respecting her former life in the Convent. + +A few weeks after this, she was married to Frederick S. Richardson +with whom she became acquainted soon after her arrival in the city of +Worcester. The marriage ceremony was performed by Charles Chaffin, Esq., +of Holden, Mass. After their marriage, her husband hired a room in the +house occupied by Mr. Handy with whom she had formerly resided. After a +few weeks, however, they removed to a place called the Drury farm. It is +owned by the heirs, but left in the care of Mr. Ezra Goddard. + +Previous to her marriage, Mrs. Richardson had often been advised +to allow her history to be placed before the public. But she always +replied, "For my life I would not do it. Not because I do not wish the +world to know it, for I would gladly proclaim it wherever a Romanist is +known, but it would be impossible for me to escape their hands should +I make myself so public. They would most assuredly take my life." After +her marriage, however, her principal objection was removed. She thought +they would not wish to take her back into the nunnery, and her husband +would protect her from violence. She therefore related the story of her +life while in the convent, which, in accordance with her own request, +was written down from her lips as she related it. This was done by Mrs. +Lucy Ann Hood, wife of Edward P. Hood, and daughter of Ezra Goddard. It +is now given to the public without addition or alteration, and with +but a slight abridgment. A strange and startling story it certainly +is. Perhaps the reader will cast it aside at once as a worthless +fiction,--the idle vagary of an excited brain. The compiler, of course, +cannot vouch for its truth, but would respectfully invite the attention +of the reader to the following testimonials presented by those who have +known the narrator. The first is from Edward P. Hood, with whom Mrs. +Richardson resided when her narrative was written. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF EDWARD P. HOOD.) + +To all whom it may concern. I hereby certify that I was personally +acquainted with Sarah J. Richards, now Sarah J. Richardson, at the time +she resided in Worcester, Mass. I first saw her at the house of Mr. Ezra +Goddard, where she came seeking employment. She appeared anxious to get +some kind of work, was willing to do anything to earn an honest living. +She had the appearance of a person who had seen much suffering and +hardship. She worked for Mr. Goddard a short time, when she obtained +another place. She then left, but called very often; and during her stay +in Worcester, she worked there several times. So far as I was able to +judge of her character, I do not hesitate to say that she was a woman +of truth and honesty. I heard her relate the account of her life and +sufferings in the Grey Nunnery, and her final escape. I knew when the +story was written, and can testify to its being done according to her +own dictation. I have examined the manuscript, and can say that it a +written out truly and faithfully as related by the nun herself. + +EDWARD P. HOOD. + +Worcester, May 5, 1856. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF EZRA GODDARD.) + +I first became acquainted with Sarah J. Richardson in August 1854. She +came to my house to work for my wife. She was at my house a great many +times after that until March 1855, when she left Worcester. At one time +she was there four or five weeks in succession. She was industrious, +willing to do anything to get an honest living. She was kind in her +disposition, and honest in her dealings. I have no hesitation in saying +that I think her statements can be relied upon. + +EZRA GODDARD. + +Worcester, Jan. 21, 1856. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF LUCY GODDARD.) + +I am acquainted with the above named Sarah J. Richardson, and can fully +testify to the truth of the above statements as to her kindness and +industrious habits, honesty and truthfulness. + +LUCY GODDARD. + +Worcester, Jan. 21, 1856. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF JOSIAH GODDARD.) + +To whom it may concern: This is to testify that I am acquainted with +Sarah J. Richardson, formerly Sarah J. Richards. I became acquainted +with her in the fall of 1854. She worked at my father's at the time. I +heard her tell her story, and from what I saw of her while she was in +Worcester, I have no hesitation in saying that she was a woman of truth +and honesty. + +JOSIAH GODDARD. + +Worcester, March 1, 1856. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF EBEN JEWETT.) + +I became acquainted with Sarah J. Richardson last winter, at the house +of Mr. Ezra Goddard; saw her a number of times after that, at the place +where I boarded. She did some work for my wife, and I heard her speak +of being at the Grey Nunnery. I also heard her story, from Mr. Goddard's +family. I have no doubt of her being honest and truthful, and I believe +she is so considered by all who became acquainted with her. + +EBEN JEWETT. + +Worcester, Feb., 1856. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF CHARLES CHAFFIN.) + +Worcester, ss.--Holden, Nov. 11, 1854. + +This certifies that I this day united in marriage, Frederick S. +Richardson and Sarah J. Richards, both of Worcester. + +CHARLES CHAFFIN, Justice of the Peace. + + + +(AFFIDAVIT.) + +I, Sarah J. Richardson, wife of Frederick S. Richardson, of the city +of Worcester, County of Worcester, and Commonwealth of Massachusetts, +formerly Sarah J. Richards before marriage, do solemnly swear, declare +and say, that the foregoing pages contain a true and faithful history of +my life before my marriage to the said Frederick S. Richardson, and +that every statement made herein by me is true. In witness whereof, I do +hereunto set my hand and seal, this 13th day of March, A.D. 1855. + +SARAH J. RICHARDSON (X her mark.) + +In presence of WM. GREENLEAF. + +Sworn to before me, the 13th day of March, AD. 1855. + +WM. GREENLEAF, Justice of the Peace. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF Z. K. PANGBORN.) + +When it was known that the Narrative of Sarah J. Richardson was about to +be published, Mr. Z. K. Pangborn, at that time editor of the Worcester +Daily Transcript, voluntarily offered the following testimony which we +copy from one of his editorials. + +"We have no doubt that the nun here spoken of as one who escaped from +the Grey Nunnery at Montreal, is the same person who spent some weeks in +our family in the fall of 1853, after her first escape from the Nunnery. +She came in search of employment to our house in St. Albans, Vt., +stating that she had traveled on foot from Montreal, and her appearance +indicated that she was poor, and had seen hardship. She obtained work +at sewing, her health not being sufficient for more arduous task. She +appeared to be suffering under some severe mental trial, and though +industrious and lady-like in her deportment, still appeared absent +minded, and occasionally singular in her manner. After awhile she +revealed the fact to the lady of the house, that she had escaped from +the Grey Nunnery at Montreal, but begged her not to inform any one +of the fact, as she feared, if it should be known, that she would be +retaken, and carried back. A few days after making this disclosure, +she suddenly disappeared. Having gone out one evening, and failing to +return, much inquiry was made, but no trace of her was obtained for some +months. Last spring a gentleman from Worcester, Mass. called on us to +make inquiries in regard to this same person and gave us the following +account of her as given by herself. She states that on the evening when +she so mysteriously disappeared from our house, she called upon an Irish +family whose acquaintance she had formed, and when she was coming away, +was suddenly seized, gagged, and thrust into a close carriage, or box, +as she thought, and on the evening of the next day found herself once +more consigned to the tender mercies of the Grey Nunnery in Montreal. +Her capture was effected by a priest who tracked her to St. Albans, +and watched his opportunity to seize her. She was subjected to the most +rigorous and cruel treatment, to punish her for running away, and kept +in close confinement till she feigned penitence and submission, when she +was treated less cruelly, and allowed more liberty. + +"But the difficulties in the way of an escape, only stimulated her the +more to make the attempt, and she finally succeeded a second time in +getting out of that place which she described as a den of cruelty and +misery. She was successful also in eluding her pursuers, and in reaching +this city, (Worcester,) where she remained some time, seeking to avoid +notoriety, as she feared she might be again betrayed and captured. She +is now, however, in a position where she does not fear the priests, and +proposes to give to the world a history of her life in the Nunnery. The +disclosures she makes are of the most startling character, but of her +veracity and good character we have the most satisfactory evidence." + +This statement was confirmed by Mrs. Pangborn, a sister of the late Mrs +Branard, the lady with whom Sarah J. Richardson stopped in St. Albans, +and by whom she was employed as a seamstress. Being an inmate of the +family at the time, Mrs Pangborn states that she had every opportunity +to become acquainted with the girl and learn her true character. The +family, she says, were all interested in her, although they knew nothing +of her secret, until a few days before she left. She speaks of her as +being "quiet and thoughtful, diligent, faithful and anxious to please, +but manifesting an eager desire for learning, that she might be able to +acquaint herself more perfectly with the Holy Scriptures. She could, +at that time, read a little, and her mind was well stored with select +passages from the sacred volume, which she seemed to take great delight +in repeating. She was able to converse intelligently upon almost +any subject, and never seemed at a loss for language to express her +thoughts. No one could doubt that nature had given her a mind capable of +a high degree of religious and intellectual culture, and that, with +the opportunity for improvement, she would become a useful member of +society. Of book knowledge she was certainly quite ignorant, but she had +evidently studied human nature to some good purpose." Mrs Pangborn also +corroborates many of the statements in her narrative. She often visited +the Grey Nunnery, and says that the description given of the building, +the Academy, the Orphan's Home, and young ladies school, are all +correct. The young Smalley mentioned in the narrative was well known to +her, and also his sister "little Sissy Smalley," as they used to call +her. Inquiries have been made of those acquainted with the route along +which the fugitive passed in her hasty flight, and we are told that the +description is in general correct; that even the mistakes serve to prove +the truthfulness of the narrator, being such as a person would be likely +to make when describing from memory scenes and places they had seen but +once; whereas, if they were getting up a fiction which they designed to +represent as truth, such mistakes would be carefully avoided. + + + + +APPENDIX I. + +ABSURDITIES OF ROMANISTS. + +It may perchance be thought by some persons that the foregoing narrative +contains many things too absurd and childish for belief. "What rational +man," it may be said, "would ever think of dressing up a figure to +represent the devil, for the purpose of frightening young girls into +obedience? And those absurd threats! Surely no sane man, and certainly +no Christian teacher, would ever stoop to such senseless mummery!" + +Incredible it may seem--foolish, false, inconsistent with reason, or the +plain dictates of common sense, it certainly is--but we have before us +well-authenticated accounts of transactions in which the Romish priests +claimed powers quite as extraordinary, and palmed off upon a credulous, +superstitious people stories quite as silly and ridiculous as anything +recorded in these pages. Indeed, so barefaced and shameless were their +pretensions in some instances, that even their better-informed brethren +were ashamed of their folly, and their own archbishop publicly rebuked +their dishonesty, cupidity and chicanery. In proof of this we place +before our readers the following facts which we find in a letter from +Professor Similien, of the college of Angers, addressed to the Union de +l'Ouest: + +"Some years ago a pretended miracle was reported as having occurred upon +a mountain called La Salette, in the southeastern part of France, +where the Virgin Mary appeared in a very miraculous manner to two young +shepherds. The story, however, was soon proved to be a despicable trick +of the priest, and as such was publicly exposed. But the Bishop of +Lucon, within whose diocese the sacred mountain stands, appears to have +been unwilling to relinquish the advantage which he expected to result +from a wide-spread belief in this infamous fable. Accordingly, in +July, 1852, it was again reported that no less than three miracles were +wrought there by the Holy Virgin. The details were as follows: + +"A young pupil at the religious establishment of the visitation of +Valence, who had been for three months completely blind from an attack +of gutta-serena, arrived at La Salette on the first of July, in company +with some sisters of the community. The extreme fatigue which she had +undergone in order to reach the summit of the mountain, at the place of +the apparition, caused some anxiety to be felt that she could not remain +fasting until the conclusion of the mass, which had not yet commenced, +and the Abbe Sibilla, one of the missionaries of La Salette, was +requested to administer the sacrament to her before the service began. +She had scarcely received the sacred wafer, when, impelled by a sudden +inspiration, she raised her head and exclaimed, 'ma bonne mere, je vous +vois.' She had, in fact, her eyes fixed on the statue of the Virgin, +which she saw as clearly as any one present For more than an hour she +remained plunged in an ecstasy of gratitude and love, and afterward +retired from the place without requiring the assistance of those who +accompanied her. At the same moment a woman from Gap, nearly sixty years +of age, who for the last nineteen years had not had the use of her right +arm, in consequence of a dislocation, suddenly felt it restored to +its original state, and swinging round the once paralyzed limb, she +exclaimed, in a transport of joy and gratitude, 'And I also am cured!' +A third cure, although not instantaneous, is not the less striking. +Another woman, known in the country for years as being paralytic, could +not ascend the mountain but with the greatest difficulty, and with the +aid of crutches. On the first day of the neuvane, that of her arrival, +she felt a sensation as if life was coming into her legs, which had been +for so long time dead. This feeling went on increasing, and the last day +of the neuvane, after having received the communion, she went, without +any assistance, to the cross of the assumption, where she hung up her +crutches. She also was cured. + +"Bishop Lucon must have known that this was mere imposition; yet, so far +from exposing a fraud so base, he not only permits his people to believe +it, but he lends his whole influence to support and circulate the +falsehood. And why? Ah! a church was to be erected; and it was necessary +to get up a little enthusiasm among the people in order to induce them +to fill his exhausted coffers, and build the church. In proof of this, +we have only to quote a few extracts from the 'Pastoral' which he issued +on this occasion. + +"'And now," he says, "Mary has deigned to appear on the summit of a +lofty mountain to two young shepherds, revealing to them the secrets +of heaven. But who attests the truth of the narrative of these Alpine +pastors? No other than the men themselves, and they are believed. They +declare what they have seen, they repeat what they have heard, they +retain what they have received commandment to keep secret. + +"A few words of the incomparable Mother of God have transformed them +into new men. Incapable of concerting aught between themselves, or of +imagining anything similar to what they relate, each is the witness to a +vision which has not found him unbelieving; each is its historian. These +two shepherds, dull as they were, have at once understood and received +the lesson which was vouchsafed to them, and it is ineffaceably engraven +on their hearts. They add nothing to it, they take nothing from it, they +modify it in nowise, they deliver the oracle of Heaven just as they have +received it. + +"An admirable constancy enabled them to guard the secret, a singular +sagacity made them discern all the snares laid for them, a rare prudence +suggested to them a thousand responses, not one of which betrayed their +secret; and when at length the time came when it was their duty to make +it known to the common Father of the Faithful, they wrote correctly, as +if reading a book placed under their eyes. Their recital drew to this +blessed mountain thousands of pilgrims. + +"They proclaimed that 'on Saturday, the 19th of September, 1846, Mary +manifested herself to them; and the anniversary of this glorious day is +henceforth and forever dear to Christian piety. Will not every pilgrim +who repairs to this holy mountain add his testimony to the truthfulness +of these young shepherds? Mary halted near a fountain; she communicated +to it a celestial virtue, a divine efficacy. From being intermittent, +this spring, today so celebrated, became perennial. + +"'Every where is recounted the prodigies which she works. When the +afflicted are in despair, the infirm without remedy, they resort to the +waters of La Salette, and cures are wrought by this remedy, whose power +makes itself felt against every evil. Our diocess, so devoted to Mary, +has been no stranger to the bounty of this tender Mother. We are +about to celebrate shortly the sixth anniversary of this miraculous +apparition. NOW THAT A SANCTUARY IS TO BE RAISED on this holy mountain +to the glory of God, we have thought it right to inform you thereof. + +"'We cannot doubt that many of you have been heard by our Lady of +La Salette; you desire to witness your gratitude to this mother of +compassion; you would gladly BRING YOUR STONE to the beautiful edifice +that is to be constructed. WE DESIRE TO FURTHER YOUR FILIAL TENDERNESS +WITH THE MEANS OF TRANSMITTING THE ALMS OF FAITH AND PIETY. For these +reasons, invoking the holy name of God, we have ordained and do ordain +as follows, viz.: + +"'First, we permit the appearance of our Lady of La Salette to be +preached throughout our diocess; secondly, on Sunday, the 19th of +September next ensuing, the litanies of the Holy Virgin shall be chanted +in all the chapels and churches of the diocess, and be followed by the +benediction of the Holy Sacrament. Thirdly, THE FAITHFUL WHO MAY DESIRE +TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE ERECTION OF THE NEW SANCTUARY, MAY DEPOSIT THEIR +OFFERINGS IN THE HANDS OF THE CURE, WHO WILL TRANSMIT THEM TO US FOR THE +BISHOP OF GRENOBLE. + +"'Our present pastoral letter shall be read and published after mass in +every parish on the Sunday after its reception. + +"'Given at Lucon, in our Episcopal palace, under our sign-manual and the +seal of our arms, and the official counter-signature of our secretary, +the 30th of June, of the year of Grace, 1852. + +"'X Jac-Mar Jos, "'Bishop of Lucon.'" + +"It is not a little remarkable," says the editor of the American +Christian Union, "that whilst the Bishop of Lucon was engaged in +extolling the miracles of La Salette, the Cardinal Archbishop of Lyons, +Dr. Bonald, 'Primate of all the Gauls,' addressed a circular to all the +priests in his diocese, in which he cautions them against apocryphal +miracles! There is indubitable evidence that his grace refers to the +scandalous delusions of La Salette. His language is severe, very severe. +He attributes the miracles in question to pecuniary speculation, which +now-a-days, he says, mingles with everything, seizes upon imaginary +facts, and profits by it at the expense of the credulous! He charges the +authors of these things with being GREEDY MEN, who aim at procuring for +themselves DISHONEST GAINS by this traffic in superstitious objects! And +he forbids the publishing from the pulpit, without leave, of any account +of a miracle, even though its authenticity should be attested by another +Bishop! This is good. His grace deserves credit for setting his face +against this miserable business, of palming off false miracles upon the +people." + +[Footnote: Since the above was written, we have met with the following +explanation of this modern miracle: + +"A few years ago there was a great stir among 'the simple faithful' in +France, occasioned by a well-credited apparition of the Holy Virgin at +La Salette. She required the erection of a chapel in her honor at that +place, and made such promises of special indulgences to all who paid +their devotions there, that it became 'all the rage' as a place of +pilgrimage. The consequence was, that other shops for the same sort of +wares in that region lost most of their customers, and the good priests +who tended the tills were sorely impoverished. In self-defence, they, +WELL KNOWING HOW SUCH THINGS WERE GOT UP, exposed the trick. A prelate +publicly denounced the imposture, and an Abbe Deleon, priest in the +diocess of Grenoble, printed a work called 'La Salette a Valley of +Lies.' In this publication it was maintained, with proofs, that the hoax +was gotten up by a Mademoiselle de Lamerliere, a sort of half-crazy nun, +who impersonated the character of the Virgin. For the injury done to her +character by this book she sued the priest for damages to the tone of +twenty thousand francs, demanding also the infliction of the utmost +penalty of the law. The court, after a long and careful investigation, +for two days, as we learn by the Catholic Herald, disposed of the case +by declaring the miracle-working damsel non-suited, and condemning her +to pay the expenses of the prosecution."--American and Foreign Christian +Union.] + +Another of Rome's marvellous stories we copy from the New York Daily +Times of July 3d, 1854. It is from the pen of a correspondent at Rome, +who, after giving an account of the ceremony performed in the church +of St. Peters at the canonization of a NEW SAINT, under the name of +Germana, relates the following particulars of her history. He says, "I +take the facts as they are related in a pamphlet account of her 'life, +virtues, and miracles,' published by authority at Rome: + +"Germana Consin was born near the village of Pibrac, in the diocess +of Toulouse, in France. Maimed in one hand, and of a scrofulous +constitution, she excited the hatred of her step-mother, in whose power +her father's second marriage placed her while yet a child. This cruel +woman gave the little Germana no other bed than some vine twigs, lying +under a flight of stairs, which galled her limbs, wearied with the day's +labor. She also persuaded her husband to send the little girl to tend +sheep in the plains, exposed to all extremes of weather. Injuries and +abuse were her only welcome when she returned from her day's task to +her home. To these injuries she submitted with Christian meekness and +patience, and she derived her happiness and consolation from religious +faith. She went every day to church to hear mass, disregarding the +distance, the difficulty of the journey, and the danger in which she +left her flock. The neighboring forest was full of wolves, who devoured +great numbers from other flocks, but never touched a sheep in that of +Germana. To go to the church she was obliged to cross a little river, +which was often flooded, but she passed with dry feet; the waters +flowing away from her on either side: howbeit no one else dared to +attempt the passage. Whenever the signal sounded for the Ave Marie, +wherever she might be in conducting her sheep, even if in a ditch, or in +mud or mire, she kneeled down and offered her devotions to the Queen of +Heaven, nor were her garments wet or soiled. The little children whom +she met in the fields she instructed in the truths of religion. For the +poor she felt the tenderest charity, and robbed herself of her scanty +pittance of bread to feed them. One day her step-mother, suspecting +that she was carrying away from the house morsels of bread to be thus +distributed, incited her husband to look in her apron; he did so, BUT +FOUND IT FULL OF FLOWERS, BEAUTIFUL BUT OUT OF SEASON, INSTEAD OF BREAD. +This miraculous conversion of bread into flowers formed the subject +of one of the paintings exhibited in St. Peter's at the Beatification. +Industrious, charitable, patient and forgiving, Germana lived a +memorable example of piety till she passed from earth in the twenty +second year of her age. The night of her death two holy monks were +passing, on a journey, in the neighborhood of her house. Late at night +they saw two celestial virgins robed in white on the road that led to +her habitation; a few minutes afterwards they returned leading between +them another virgin clad in pure white, and with a crown of flowers on +her head. + +"Wonders did not cease with her death. Forty years after this event her +body was uncovered, in digging a grave for another person, and found +entirely uncorrupted--nay, the blood flowed from a wound accidentally +made in her face. Great crowds assembled to see the body so miraculously +preserved, and it was carefully re-interred within the church. There it +lay in place until the French Revolution, when it was pulled up and cast +into a ditch and covered with quick lime and water. But even this +failed to injure the body of the blessed saint. It was found two years +afterward entirely unhurt, and even the grave clothes which surrounded +it were entire, as on the day of sepulture, two hundred years before. + +"And now in the middle of the nineteenth century, these facts are +published for the edification of believers, and his Holiness has set his +seal to their authenticity. Four miracles performed by this saint after +her death are attested by the bull of beatification, and also by Latin +inscriptions in great letters displayed at St. Peter's on the day +of this great celebration. The monks of the monastery at Bourges, in +France, prayed her to intercede on one occasion, that their store of +bread might be multiplied; on another their store of meal; on both +occasions THEIR PRAYER WAS GRANTED. The other two miracles were cures +of desperate maladies, the diseased persons having been brought to pray +over her tomb. + +"On the splendid scarlet hangings, bearing the arms of Pius IX. and +suspended at the corners of the nave and transept, were two Latin +inscriptions, of similar purport, of one of which I give a translation: +'O Germana, raised to-day to celestial honors by Pius IX. Pontifex +Maximus, since thou knowest that Pius has wept over thy nation wandering +from God, and has exultingly rejoiced at its reconciling itself with God +little by little, he prays thee intimately united with God, do thou, for +thou canst do it, make known his wishes to God, and strengthen them, for +thou art able, with the virtue of thy prayers.' + +"I have been thus minute in my account of this Beatification, deeming +the facts I state of no little importance and interest, as casting light +upon the character of the Catholicism of the present day, and showing +with what matters the Spiritual and Temporal ruler of Rome is busying +himself in this year of our Lord eighteen hundred and fifty-four." + +Many other examples similar to the above might be given from the history +of Catholicism as it exists at the present time in the old world. But +let us turn to our own country. We need not look to France or Rome for +examples of priestly intrigue of the basest kind; and absurdities that +almost surpass belief. The following account which we copy from The +American and Foreign Christian Union of August, 1852, will serve to show +that the priests in these United States are quite as willing to impose +upon the ignorant and credulous as, their brethren in other countries. +The article is from the pen of an Irish Missionary in the employ of The +American and Foreign Christian Union and is entitled, + + "A LYING WONDER." + +"It would seem almost incredible," says the editor of this valuable +Magazine, "that any men could be found in this country who are capable +of practising such wretched deceptions. But the account given in the +subjoined statement is too well authenticated to permit us to reject the +story as untrue, however improbable it may, at first sight, seem to be. +Here it is:--? + +"Mr. Editor,--I give you, herein, some information respecting a lying +wonder wrought in Troy, New York, last winter, and respecting the female +who was the 'MEDIUM' of it. I have come to the conclusion that this +female is a Jesuit, after as good an examination as I have been able to +give the matter. I have been fed with these lying wonders in early life, +and in Ireland as well as in this country there are many who, for want +of knowing any better, will feed upon them in their hearts by faith and +thanksgiving. About the time this lying wonder of which I am about to +write happened, I had been talking of it in the office of Mr. Luther, of +Albany, (coal merchant), where were a number of Irish waiting for a job. +One of these men declared, with many curses on his soul if what he told +was not true, that he had seen a devil cast out of a woman in his own +parish, in Ireland, by the priest. I told him it would be better for his +character's sake for him to say he heard of it, than to say he SAW it. + +Mr. J. W. Lockwood, a respectable merchant in Troy, New York, and son of +the late mayor, kept two or three young women as 'helps' for his lady, +last winter. The name of one is Eliza Mead, and the name of another is +Catharine Dillon, a native of the county of Limerick, Ireland. Eliza +was an upper servant, who took care of her mistress and her children. +Catharine was and is now the cook. Eliza appeared to her mistress to be +a very well educated, and a very intellectual woman of 35, though she +would try to make believe she could not write, and that she was subject +to fits of insanity. There was then presumptive evidence that she wrote +a good deal, and there is now positive evidence that she could write. +She used often, in the presence of Mrs. L., to take the Bible and other +books and read them, and would often say she thought the Protestants +had a better religion than the Catholics, and were a better people. +Afterwards she told Mrs. L. that she had doubts about the Catholic +religion, and was inclined toward the Protestant: but now she is +sure, quite sure, that the Catholic alone is the right one, FOR IT WAS +REVEALED TO HER. + +On the evening of the 23d of December, 1851, Eliza and Catharine were +missing;--but I will give you Catharine's affidavit about their business +from home. + +"City of Troy, S. W. + +"I, Catharine Dillon, say, that on Tuesday, 23d December inst, about +five o'clock in the afternoon, I went with Eliza Mead to see the priest, +Mr. McDonnel, who was at home. Eliza remained there till about six +o'clock P. M. At that time I returned home, leaving her at the priest's. +At half past eight o'clock the same evening I returned to the priest's +house for Eliza, and waited there for her till about ten o'clock of the +same evening, expecting that Eliza's conference with the priest would be +ended, and that she would come home with me. + +"During the evening there had been another besides Mr. McDonnel there. +About ten o'clock this other priest retired, as I understood. Soon after +this Mr. McDonnel called me, with others, into the room where Eliza was, +when he said that she (Eliza) was POSSESSED OF THE DEVIL Mr. McDonnel +then commenced interrogating the devil, asking the devil if he possessed +her. The answer was, "Yes." The priest then asked, "How long?" and the +answer was, "Six months and nine days." The priest then asked, "Who sent +you into her?" The answer was, "Mr. Lockwood." The next question was, +"When?" "When she was asleep," was the answer. He then asked the devil +if Mr. Lockwood had ever tempted Catharine, meaning me, and the reply +was, "Yes." Then the question was, "How many times?" And the answer was, +"Three times, by offering her drink when she was asleep?" + +"I came home about five o'clock in the morning, greatly shocked at +what I had seen and heard, and impressed with the belief that Eliza was +possessed with the devil. I went again to the priest's on Wednesday to +find Eliza, when the priest told me that he, Mr. McDonnel, exorcised the +devil at high mass that morning in the church, and drove the devil out +of Eliza. That he, the devil, came out of Eliza, and spat at the Holy +Cross of Jesus Christ, and departed. He then told me that, as Eliza got +the devil from Mr. Lockwood, in the house where I lived, I must leave +the house immediately, and made me promise him that I would. During the +appalling scenes of Tuesday night, Mr. McDonnel went to the other priest +and called him up, but the other priest did not come to his assistance. +These answers to the priest when he was asking questions of the devil, +were given in a very loud voice and sometimes with a loud scream." + +"CATHARINE DILLON." + +"Subscribed and sworn to, this 31st day of December, 1851, before me, +JOB S. OLIN, Recorder of Troy, New York." [A copy.] + +At the interview between Mr. J. W. Lockwood and the Rev. Mr. McDonnel, +officiating priest at St. Peter's church, there were present Hon. James +M. Warren, T. W. Blatchford, M. D., and C. N. Lockwood, on the part of +Mr. Lockwood, and Father Kenny and Mr. Davis on the part of the Rev. Mr. +McDonnel, on the evening of the 31st December, 1851. + +Mr. McDonnel at first declined answering any questions, questioning Mr. +Lockwood's right to ask them: He would only say that Eliza Mead came to +his house possessed, as she thought, with an evil spirit; that at first +he declined having anything to do with her, first, because he believed +her to be crazy; second, because he was at that moment otherwise +engaged; and thirdly, because she was not in his parish; but, by her +urgent appeals in the name of God to pray over her, he was at last +induced to admit her. He became satisfied that she was possessed of the +devil, or an evil spirit, by saying the appointed prayers of the church +over her; for the spirit manifested uneasiness when this was done; and +furthermore, as she was entering the church the following morning, she +was thrown into convulsions by Father Kenny's making the sign of the +cross behind her back. At high mass in the morning he exorcised the +devil, and he left her, spitting at the cross of Christ before taking +his final departure. + +As to Mr. McDonnel's repeatedly telling Catharine that she must leave +Mr. L's house immediately, for if she remained there Mr. L. would put +the devil in her, Mr. McDonnel denied saying or doing anything whatever +that was detrimental to the character of Mr. L. or any of his family. +Mr. McDonnel repeatedly refused to answer the questions put to him by +Mr. L. He considered it insulting that Mr. L. should visit his house on +such business, as no power on earth but that of the POPE had authority +to question him on such matters. But being reminded that slanderous +reports had emanated from that very house against Mr. L. he, Mr. +McDonnel, said it was all to see what kind of a man he was that brought +Mr. L. there, and if reports were exaggerated, it was nothing to him. + +Mr. McDonnel said that he cleared the church before casting out the +devil, and there was but one person besides himself there. That, +every word spoken in the church was in Latin, and nobody in the church +understood a word of it. That he had heard threats made by Mr. L., +also that Mr. L. had said the pretended answers of the devil ware made +through the medium of ventriloquism. Father Kenny, in the progress of +the interview, made two or three attempts to speak, but was prevented by +Mr. McDonnel. + +Thus ends the report written down by Mr. L.'s brother, who was present, +immediately after the interview. It was all Latin in the church, we +see; but the low Irish will not believe that the devil could understand +Latin. However, it was not all Latin at the priest's house, where +Catharine Dillon heard what she declared on oath. How slow the priest +was to admit her (Eliza Mead) in the beginning, and to believe that she +had his sable majesty in her, until it manifested uneasiness under the +cannonade of church prayers! + +"But you will ask, how could an educated priest, or an intelligent +woman, condescend to such diabolical impositions? I think it is +something after the way that a man gets to be a drunkard; he may not +like the taste thereof at first, but afterwards he will smack his lips +and say, 'there is nothing like whiskey,' and as their food becomes part +of their bodily substance, so are these 'lying wonders' converted into +their spiritual substance. So I think; I am, however, but a very humble +philosopher, and therefore I will use the diction of the Holy Spirit on +the matter: 'For this cause God shall send them strong delusions, that +they should believe a lie,' EVEN OF THEIR OWN MAKING, OR WHAT MAY EASILY +BE SEEN TO BE LIES OF OTHER'S GETTING, "that they all might be damned +who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.'" + +"JOHN MURPHEY. + +"ALBANY, June 2nd, 1852." + + +It was said by one "that the first temptation on reading such +monstrosities as the above, is to utter a laugh of derision." But it is +with no such feeling that we place them before our readers. Rather would +we exclaim with the inspired penman, "O that my head were waters and +mine eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night" for the +deluded followers of these willfully blind leaders! Surely, no pleasure +can be found in reading or recording scenes which a pure mind can regard +only with pity and disgust. Yet we desire to prove to our readers that +the absurd threats and foolish attempts to impose upon the weak and +ignorant recorded by Sarah J. Richardson are perfectly consistent +with the general character and conduct of the Romish priests. Read +for instance, the following ridiculous story translated from Le Semeur +Canadien for October 12th, 1855. + +A NEW MEANS OF CONVERSION. + +In the district of Montreal lived a Canadian widow of French extraction +who had become a Protestant. Madam V--, such was the name of this lady, +lived with her daughter, the sole fruit of a union too soon dissolved +by unsparing death. Their life, full of good works, dispelled prejudices +that the inhabitants of the vicinity--all intolerant Catholics--had +always entertained against evangelical Christians; they gained their +respect, moreover, by presenting them the example of every virtue. Two +of the neighbors of the Protestant widow--who had often heard at her +house the word of God read and commented upon by one of those ministers +who visit the scattered members of their communion--talked lately of +embracing the reformed religion. In the mean while, Miss V-- died. The +young Christian rested her hope upon the promises of the Saviour who has +said, "Believe in Christ and thou shall be saved." + +Her spirit flew to its Creator with the confidence of an infant who +throws himself into the arms of his father. Her last moments were not +tormented by the fear of purgatory, where every Catholic believes he +will suffer for a longer or shorter time. This death strengthened the +neighbors in the resolution they had taken to leave the Catholic church. +The widow buried the remains of her daughter upon her own land, a short +distance from her house: the nearest Protestant cemetery was so far off +that she was forced to give up burying it there. + +Some Catholic fanatics of the vicinity assembled secretly the day after +the funeral of Miss V-- to discuss the best means for arresting the +progress that the reformed religion was making in the parish. After long +deliberation they resolved to hire a poor man to go every evening for +a whole week and groan near the grave of Miss V---. Their object was to +make the widow and neighbors believe that the young girl was damned; and +that God permitted her to show her great unhappiness by lamentations, +so that they might avoid her fate by remaining faithful to the belief of +their fathers. In any other country than Lower Canada, those who might +have employed such means would not perhaps have had an opportunity +of seeing their enterprise crowned with success; but in our country +districts, where the people believe in ghosts and bugbears, it would +almost certainly produce the desired effect. This expedient, instead of +being ridiculous, was atrocious. The employment of it could not fail to +cause Mrs V-- to suffer the most painful agonies, and her neighbors the +torments of doubt. + +The credulity of the French-Canadian is the work of the clergy; they +invent and relate, in order to excite their piety, the most marvellous +things. For example: the priests say that souls in purgatory desiring +alleviation come and ask masses of their relatives, either by appearing +in the same form they had in life, or by displacing the furniture and +making a noise, as long as they have not terminated the expiation of +their sins. The Catholic clergy, by supporting these fabulous doctrines +and pious lies, lead their flock into the baleful habit of believing +things the most absurd and destitute of proof. + +The day after Miss V--'s funeral, everybody in the parish was talking of +the woeful cries which had been heard the night before near her grave. +The inhabitants of the place, imbued with fantastic ideas that their +rector had kept alive, were dupes of the artifice employed by some of +their own number. They became convinced that there is no safety outside +of the church, of which they formed a part. Seized with horror they +determined never to pass a night near the grave of the cursed one, as +they already called the young Protestant. Mrs. V-- by the instinctive +effect of prejudices inculcated when she was a Catholic, was at first a +prey to deadly anxiety; but recalling the holy life of her daughter, +she no longer doubted of her being among the number of the elect. She +guessed at the cause of the noise which was heard near the grave of her +child. In order to assure herself of the justness of her suspicions, +she besought the two neighbors of whom I have already spoken, to conceal +themselves there the following night. These persons were glad of an +occasion to test the accuracy of what a curate of their acquaintance had +told them; who had asserted that a spirit free from the body could yet +manifest itself substantially to the living, as speaking without tongue, +touching without hands. + +They discovered the man who was paid to play the ghost; they seized him, +and in order to punish him, tied him to a tree, at the foot of which +Miss V-- was buried. The poor creature the next morning no longer acted +the soul in torment, but shouted like a person who very much wanted his +breakfast. At noon one of his friends passed by who, hearing him implore +assistance, approached and set him free. Overwhelmed with questions and +derision, the false ghost confessed he had acted thus only to obtain +the reward which had been promised him. You may easily guess that +the ridicule and reprobation turned upon those who had made him their +instrument. + +I will not finish this narrative without telling the reader that the +curate of the place appeared much incensed at what his parishioners +had done. I am glad to be able to suppose that he condemns rather +than encourages such conduct. A Protestant friend of mine who does not +entertain the same respect for the Roman clergy that I do, advances the +opinion that the displeasure of the curate was not on account of the +culpable attempt of some of his flock but on account of its failure. +However, I must add, on my reputation as a faithful narrator, that +nothing has yet happened to confirm his assertion. + +ERASTE D'ORSONNENS. + +MONTREAL, September 1855. + + + + +APPENDIX II. + +CRUELTY OF ROMANISTS. + +To show that the Romish priests have in all ages, and do still, inflict +upon their victims cruelties quite as severe as anything described in +the foregoing pages, and that such cruelties are sanctioned by their +code of laws, we have only to turn to the authentic history of the past +and present transactions of the high functionaries of Rome. + +About the year 1356, Nicholas Eymeric, inquisitor-general of Arragon, +collected from the civil and canon laws all that related to the +punishment of heretics, and formed the "Directory of Inquisitors," the +first and indeed the fundamental code, which has been followed ever +since, without any essential variation. "It exhibits the practice and +theory of the Inquisition at the time of its sanction by the approbation +of Gregory 13th, in 1587, which theory, under some necessary variations +of practice, still remains unchanged." + +From this "Directory," transcribed by the Rev. Wm. Rule of London, in +1852, we extract a few sentences in relation to torture. + +"Torture is inflicted on one who confesses the principal fact, but +varies as to circumstances. Also on one who is reputed to be a heretic, +but against whom there is only one witness of the fact. In this case +common rumor is one indication of guilt, and the direct evidence is +another, making altogether but semi-plenar proof. The torture may bring +out fall proof. Also, when there is no witness, but vehement suspicion. +Also when there is no common report of heresy, but only one witness +who has heard or seen something in him contrary to the faith. Any two +indications of heresy will justify the use of torture. If you sentence +to torture, give him a written notice in the form prescribed; but other +means be tried first. Nor is this an infallible means for bringing out +the truth. Weak-hearted men, impatient at the first pain, will confess +crimes they never committed, and criminate others at the same time. Bold +and strong ones will bear the most severe torments. Those who have been +on the rack before bear it with more courage, for they know how to adapt +their limbs to it, and they resist powerfully. Others, by enchantments, +seem to be insensible, and would rather die than confess. These wretches +user for incantations, certain passages from the Psalms of David, or +other parts of Scripture, which they write on virgin parchment in an +extravagant way, mixing them with names of unknown angels, with circles +and strange letters, which they wear upon their person. 'I know not,' +says Pena, 'how this witchcraft can be remedied, but it will be well to +strip the criminals naked, and search them narrowly, before laying them +upon the rack.' While the tormentor is getting ready, let the inquisitor +and other grave men make fresh attempts to obtain a confession of the +truth. Let the tormentors TERRIFY HIM BY ALL MEANS, TO FRIGHTEN HIM INTO +CONFESSION. And after he is stripped, let the inquisitor take him aside, +and make a last effort. When this has failed, let him be put to the +question by torture, beginning with interrogation on lesser points, +and advancing to greater. If he stands out, let them show him other +instruments of torture, and threaten that he shall suffer them also. If +he will not confess; the torture may be continued on the second or third +day; but as it is not to be repeated, those successive applications must +be called CONTINUATION. And if, after all, he does not confess, he may +be set at liberty." + +Rules are laid down for the punishment of those who do confess. Innocent +IV. commanded the secular judges to put heretics to torture; but that +gave occasion to scandalous publicity, and now inquisitors are empowered +to do it, and, in case of irregularity (THAT IS, IF THE PERSON DIES IN +THEIR HANDS), TO ABSOLVE EACH OTHER. And although nobles were exempt +from torture, and in some kingdoms, as Arragon, it was not used in civil +tribunals, the inquisitors were nevertheless authorized to torture, +without restriction, persons of all classes. + +And here we digress from Eymeric and Pena, in order to describe, from +additional authority, of what this torture consisted, and probably, +still consists, in Italy. Limborch collects this information from Juan +de Rojas, inquisitor at Valencia. + +"There were five degrees of torment as some counted (Eymeric included), +or according to others, three. First, there was terror, including +the threatenings of the inquisitor, leading to the place of torture, +stripping, and binding; the stripping of their clothing, both men and +women, with the substitution of a single tight garment, to cover part +of the person--being an outrage of every feeling of decency--and the +binding, often as distressing as the torture itself. Secondly came the +stretching on the rack, and questions attendant. Thirdly a more severe +shock, by the tension and sodden relaxation of the cord, which is +sometimes given once, but often twice, thrice, or yet more frequently." + +"Isaac Orobio, a Jewish physician, related to Limborch the manner in +which he had himself been tortured, when thrown into the inquisition at +Seville, on the delation of a Moorish servant, whom he had punished for +theft, and of another person similarly offended. + +"After having been in the prison of the inquisition for full three +years, examined a few times, but constantly refusing to confess the +things laid to his charge, he was at length brought out of the cell, +and led through tortuous passages to the place of torment. It was near +evening. He found himself in a subterranean chamber, rather spacious, +arched over, and hung with black cloth. The whole conclave was lighted +by candles in sconces on the walls. At one end there was a separate +chamber, wherein were an inquisitor and his notary seated at a table. +The place, gloomy, intent, and everywhere terrible, seemed to be the +very home of death. Hither he was brought, and the inquisitor again +exhorted him to tell the truth before the torture should begin. On his +answering that he had already told the truth, the inquisitor gravely +protested that he was bringing himself to the torture by his own +obstinacy; and that if he should suffer loss of blood, or even expire, +during the question, the holy office would be blameless. Having thus +spoken, the inquisitor left him in the hands of the tormentors, who +stripped him, and compressed his body so tightly in a pair of linen +drawers, that he could no longer draw breath, and must have died, had +they not suddenly relaxed the pressure; but with recovered breathing +came pain unutterably exquisite. The anguish being past, they repeated a +monition to confess the truth, before the torture, as they said, should +begin; and the same was afterwards repeated at each interval. + +"As Orobio persisted in denial, they bound his thumbs so tightly with +small cords that the blood burst from under the nails, and they were +swelled excessively. Then they made him stand against the wall on +a small stool, passed cords around various parts of his body, but +principally around the arms and legs, and carried them over iron +pulleys in the ceiling. The tormentor then pulled the cords with all his +strength, applying his feet to the wall, and giving the weight of his +body to increase the purchase. With these ligatures his arms and legs, +fingers and toes, were so wrung and swollen that he felt as if fire were +devouring them. In the midst of this torment the man kicked down the +stool which had supported his feet, so that he hung upon the cords +with his whole weight, which suddenly increased their tension, and +gave indescribable aggravation to his pain. Next followed a new kind +of torment. An instrument resembling a small ladder, consisting of two +parallel pieces of wood, and five transverse pieces, with the anterior +edges sharpened, was placed before him, so that when the tormentor +struck it heavily, he received the stroke five times multiplied on each +shin bone, producing pain that was absolutely intolerable, and under +which he fainted. But no sooner was he revived than they inflicted a new +torture. The tormentor tied other cords around his wrists, and having +his own shoulders covered with leather, that they might not be chafed, +passed round them the rope which was to draw the cords, set his feet +against the wall, threw himself back with all his force, and the cords +cut through to the bones. This he did thrice, each time changing the +position of the cords, leaving a small distance between the successive +wounds; but it happened that in pulling the second time they slipped +into the first wounds, and caused such a gush of blood that Orobio +seemed to be bleeding to death. + +"A physician and surgeon, who were in waiting as usual, to give their +opinion as to the safety or danger of continuing those operations, +that the inquisitors might not commit an irregularity by murdering the +patient, were called in. Being friends of the sufferer, they gave their +opinion that he had strength enough remaining to bear more. By this +means they saved him from a SUSPENSION of the torture, which would have +been followed by a repetition, on his recovery, under the pretext of +CONTINUATION. The cords were therefore pulled a third time, and this +ended the torture. He was dressed in his own clothes, carried back to +prison, and, after about seventy days, when the wounds were healed, +condemned as one SUSPECTED of Judaism. They could not say CONVICTED, +because he had not confessed; but they sentenced him to wear the +sambenito [Footnote: This sambenito (Suco bendito or blessed sack,) is +a garment (or kind of scapulary according to some writers,) worn by +penitents of the least criminal class in the procession of an Auto de +Fe, (a solemn ceremony held by the Inquisition for the punishment of +heretics,) but sometimes worn as a punishment at other times, that the +condemned one might be marked by his neighbors, and ever bear a signal +that would affright and scare by the greatness of the punishment and +disgrace; a plan, salutary it may be, but very grievous to the offender. +It was made of yellow cloth, with a St. Andrew's cross upon it, of +red. A rope was sometimes put around the neck as an additional mark of +infamy. + +"Those who were condemned to be burnt were distinguished by a habit of +the same form, called Zamarra, but instead of the red cross were +painted flames and devils, and sometimes an ugly portrait of the heretic +himself,--a head, with flames under it. Those who had been sentenced to +the stake, but indulged with commutation of the penalty, had inverted +flames painted on the livery, and this was called fuego revuelto, +"inverted fire." + +"Upon the head of the condemned was also placed a conical paper cap, +about three feet high, slightly resembling a mitre, called corona or +crown. This was painted with flames and devils in like manner with the +dress.] or penitential habit for two years, and then be banished for +life from Seville." + + + + +APPENDIX III. + +INQUISITION OF GOA--IMPRISONMENT OF M. DELLON, 1673. + +"M. Dellon a French traveller, spending some time at Damaun, on the +north-western coast of Hindostan, incurred the jealousy of the governor +and a black priest, in regard to a lady, as he is pleased to call +her, whom they both admired. He had expressed himself rather freely +concerning some of the grosser superstitions of Romanism, and thus +afforded the priest, who was also secretary of the Inquisition, an +occasion of proceeding against him as a heretic. The priest and the +governor united in a representation to the chief inquisitor at Goa, +which procured an order for his arrest. Like all other persons whom it +pleased the inquisitors or their servants to arrest, in any part of the +Portuguese dominions beyond the Cape of Good Hope, he was thrown into +prison with a promiscuous crowd of delinquents, the place and treatment +being of the worst kind, even according to the colonial barbarism of +the seventeenth century. To describe his sufferings there, is not to our +purpose, inasmuch as all prisoners fared alike, many of them perishing +from starvation and disease. Many offenders against the Inquisition +were there at the same time,--some accused of Judaism, others, of +Paganism--in which sorcery and witchcraft were included--and others of +immorality. In a field so wide and so fruitful, the "scrutators" of the +faith could not fail to gather abundantly. After an incarceration of at +least four months, he and his fellow-sufferers were shipped off for +the ecclesiastical metropolis of India, all of them being in irons. The +vessel put into Bacaim, and the prisoners were transferred, for some +days, to the prison of that town, where a large number of persons were +kept in custody, under charge of the commissary of the holy office, +until a vessel should arrive to carry them to Goa. + +"In due time they were again at sea, and a fair wind wafted their +fleet into that port after a voyage of seven days. Until they could +be deposited in the cells of the Inquisition with the accustomed +formalities, the Archbishop of Goa threw open HIS prison for their +reception, which prison, being ecclesiastical, may be deemed worthy of +description. + +"The most filthy," says Dellon, "the most dark, and the most horrible +that I ever saw; and I doubt whether a more shocking and horrible prison +can be found anywhere. It is a kind of cave wherein there is no day seen +but by a very little hole; the most subtle rays of the sun cannot enter +into it, and there is never any true light in it. The stench is extreme. +* * * + +"On the 16th of January 1674, at eight o'clock in the morning, an +officer came with orders to take the prisoners to "the holy house." With +considerable difficulty M. Dellon dragged his iron-loaded limbs thither. +They helped him to ascend the stairs at the great entrance, and in the +hall, smiths were waiting to take off the irons from all the prisoners. +One by one, they were summoned to audience. Dellon, who was called the +first, crossed the hall, passed through an ante-chamber, and entered +a room, called by the Portuguese "board of the holy office," where the +grand inquisitor of the Indies sat at one end of a very large table, on +an elevated floor in the middle of the chamber. He was a secular priest +about forty years of age, in full vigor--a man who could do his work +with energy. At one end of the room was a large crucifix, reaching from +the floor almost to the ceiling, and near it, sat a notary on a folding +stool. At the opposite end, and near the inquisitor, Dellon was placed, +and, hoping to soften his judge, fell on his knees before him. But the +inquisitor commanded him to rise, asked whether he knew the reason of +his arrest, and advised him to declare it at large, as that was the only +way to obtain a speedy release. Dellon caught at the hope of release, +began to tell his tale, mixed with tears and protestations, again +fell at the feet of Don Francisco Delgado Ematos, the inquisitor, and +implored his favorable attention. Don Francisco told him, very coolly, +that he had other business on hand, and, nothing moved, rang a silver +bell. The alcayde entered, led the prisoner out into a gallery, opened, +and searched his trunk, stripped him of every valuable, wrote an +inventory, assured him that all should be safely kept, and then led him +to a cell about ten feet square, and left him there, shut up in utter +solitude. In the evening they brought him his first meal, which he ate +heartily, and slept a little during the night following. Next morning he +learnt that he could have no part of his property, not even a breviary +was, in that place, allowed to a priest, for they had no form of +religion there, and for that reason he could not have a book. His hair +was cropped close; and therefore "he did not need a comb." + +"Thus began his acquaintance with the holy house, which he describes +as "great and magnificent," on one side of the great space before the +church of St Catharine. There were three gates in front; and, it was +by the central, or largest, that the prisoners entered, and mounted a +stately flight of steps, leading into the great hall. The side gates +provided entrance to spacious ranges of apartments, belonging to the +inquisitors. Behind the principal building, was another, very spacious, +two stories high, and consisting of double rows of cells, opening into +galleries that ran from end to end. The cells on the ground-floor were +very small, without any aperture from without for light or air. Those of +the upper story were vaulted, white-washed, had a small strongly grated +window, without glass, and higher than the tallest man could reach. +Towards the gallery every cell was shut with two doors, one on the +inside, the other one outside of the wall. The inner door folded, was +grated at the bottom, opened towards the top for the admission of food +and was made fast with very strong bolts. The outer door was not so +thick, had no window, but was left open from six o'clock every morning +until eleven--a necessary arrangement in that climate, unless it were +intended to destroy life by suffocation. + +"To each prisoner was given as earthen pot with water wherewith to wash, +another full of water to drink, with a cup; a broom, a mat whereon +to lie, and a large basin with a cover, changed every fourth day. The +prisoners had three meals a day; and their health so far as food could +contribute to it in such a place, was cared for in the provision of +a wholesome, but spare diet. Physicians were at hand to render all +necessary assistance to the sick, as were confessors, ready to wait +upon the dying; but they gave no viaticum, performed no unction, said +no mass. The place was under an impenetrable interdict. If any died, +and that many did die is beyond question, his death was unknown to all +without; he was buried within the walls without any sacred ceremony; +and if, after death, he was found to have died in heresy, his bones were +taken up at the next Auto, to be burned. Unless there happened to be +an unusual number of prisoners, each one was alone in his own cell. He +might not speak, nor groan, nor sob aloud, nor sigh. [Footnote: Limborch +relates that on one occasion, a poor prisoner was heard to cough; the +jailer of the Inquisition instantly repaired to him, and warned him to +forbear, as the slightest noise was not tolerated in that house. The +poor man replied that it was not in his power to forbear; a second time +they admonished him to desist; and when again, unable to do otherwise, +he repeated the offence, they stripped him naked, and cruelly beat him. +This increased his cough, for which they beat him so often, that at last +he died through pain and anguish of the stripes he had received.] His +breathing might be audible when the guard listened at the grating, but +nothing more. Four guards were stationed in each long gallery, open, +indeed, at each end, but awfully silent, as if it were the passage of +a catacomb. If, however, he wanted anything, he might tap at the inner +door, when a jailer would come to hear the request, and would report to +the alcayde, but was not permitted to answer. If one of the victims, in +despair, or pain, or delirium, attempted to pronounce a prayer, even to +God, or dared to utter a cry, the jailers would run to the cell, rush +in, and beat him cruelly, for terror to the rest. Once in two months the +inquisitor, with a secretary and an interpreter, visited the prisons, +and asked each prisoner if he wanted anything, if his meat was regularly +brought, and if he had any complaint against the jailers. His want after +all lay at the mercy of the merciless. His complaint, if uttered, would +bring down vengeance, rather than gain redress. But in this visitation +the holy office professed mercy with much formality, and the +inquisitorial secretary collected notes which aided in the crimination, +or in the murder of their victims. + +"The officers of Goa were;--the inquisidor mor or grand inquisitor, who +was always a secular priest; the second inquisitor, Dominican friar; +several deputies, who came, when called for, to assist the inquisitors +at trials, but never entered without such a summons; qualifiers, +as usual, to examine books and writings, but never to witness an +examination of the living, or be present at any act of the kind; a +fiscal; a procurator; advocates, so called, for the accused; notaries +and familiars. The authority of this tribunal was absolute in Goa. +There does not appear to have been anything peculiar in the manner of +examining and torturing at Goa where the practice coincided with that of +Portugal and Spain. + +"The personal narrative of Dellon affords a distinct exemplification of +the sufferings of the prisoners. He had been told that, when he desired +an audience, he had only to call a jailer, and ask it, when it would be +allowed him. But, notwithstanding many tears and entreaties, he could +not obtain one until fifteen days had passed away. Then came the alcayde +and one of his guards. This alcayde walked first out of the cell; Dellon +uncovered and shorn, and with legs and feet bare, followed him; the +guard walked behind. The alcayde just entered the place of audience, +made a profound reverence, stepped back and allowed his charge to enter. +The door closed, and Dellon remained alone with the inquisitor and +secretary. He knelt; but Don Fernando sternly bade him to sit on a +bench, placed there for the use of the culprits. Near him, on a table, +lay a missal, on which they made him lay his hand, and swear to keep +secrecy, and tell them the truth. They asked if he knew the cause of his +imprisonment, and whether he was resolved to confess it. He told +them all he could recollect of unguarded sayings at Damaun, either in +argument or conversation, without ever, that he knew, contradicting, +directly or indirectly, any article of faith. He had, at some time +dropped an offensive word concerning the Inquisition, but so light a +word, that it did not occur to his remembrance. Don Fernando told him he +had done well in ACCUSING HIMSELF so willingly, and exhorted him in the +name of Jesus Christ, to complete his self accusation fully, to the end +that he might experience the goodness and mercy which were used in +that tribunal towards those who showed true repentance by a sincere +and UNFORCED confession. The secretary read aloud the confession and +exhortation, Dellon signed it, Don Fernando rang a silver bell, the +alcayde walked in, and, in a few moments, the disappointed victim was +again in his dungeon. + +"At the end of another fortnight, and without having asked for it, he +was again taken to audience. After a repetition of the former questions, +he was asked his name, surname, baptism, confirmation, place of abode, +in what parish? in what diocess? under what bishop? They made him kneel, +and make the sign of the cross, repeat the Pater Noster, Hail Mary, +creed, commandments of God, commandments of the church, and Salve +Begins. He did it all very cleverly, and even to their satisfaction; +but the grand inquisitor exhorted him, by the tender mercies of our Lord +Jesus Christ, to confess without delay, and sent him to the cell again. +His heart sickened. They required him to do what was impossible--to +confess more, after he had acknowledged ALL. In despair, he tried to +starve himself to death; 'but they compelled him to take food.' Day and +night he wept, and at length betook himself to prayer, imploring pity +of the 'blessed Virgin,' whom he imagined to be, of all beings, the most +merciful, and the most ready to give him help. + +"At the end of a month, he succeeded in obtaining another audience, and +added to his former confessions what he had remembered, for the first +time, touching the Inquisition. But they told him that that was not what +they wanted, and sent him back again. This was intolerable. In a frenzy +of despair he determined to commit suicide, if possible. Feigning +sickness, be obtained a physician who treated him for a fever, and +ordered him to be bled. Never calmed by any treatment of the physician, +blood-letting was repeated often, and each time he untied the bandage, +when left alone, hoping to die from loss of blood, but death fled from +him. A humane Franciscan came to confess him, and, hearing his tale of +misery, gave him kind words, asked permission to divulge his attempt +at self-destruction to the inquisitor, procured him a mitigation of +solitude by the presence of a fellow-prisoner, a negro, accused of +magic; but, after five months, the negro was removed, and his mind, +broken with suffering, could no longer bear up under the aggravated +load. By an effort of desperate ingenuity he almost succeeded in +committing suicide, and a jailer found him weltering in his blood and +insensible. Having restored him by cordials, and bound up his wounds, +they carried him into the presence of the inquisitor once more; where he +lay on the floor, being unable to sit, heard bitter reproaches, had his +limbs confined in irons, and was thus carried back to a punishment that +seemed more terrible than death. In fetters he became so furious, that +they found it necessary to take them off, and, from that time, his +examinations assumed another character, as he defended his positions +with citations from the Council of Trent, and with some passages of +scripture, which he explained in the most Romish sense, discovering +a depth of ignorance in Don Fernando that was truly surprising. That +'grand Inquisitor,' had never heard the passage which Dellon quoted to +prove the doctrine of baptismal regeneration, 'Except a man be born +of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.' +Neither did he know anything of that famous passage in the twenty-fifth +session of the Council of Trent, which declares that images are only to +be reverenced on account of the persons whom they represent. He +called for a Bible, and for the acts of the council, and was evidently +surprised when he found them where Dellon told him they might be seen. + +"The time for a general auto drew near. During the months of November +and December, 1675, he heard every morning the cries of persons under +torture, and afterwards saw many of them, both men and women, lame and +distorted by the rack. On Sunday January 11th, 1676, he was surprised +by the jailer refusing to receive his linen to be washed--Sunday being +washing-day in the 'holy house.' While perplexing himself to think +what that could mean, the cathedral bells rang for vespers, and then, +contrary to custom, rang again for matins. He could only account for +that second novelty by supposing that an auto would be celebrated the +next day. They brought him supper, which he refused, and, contrary to +their wont at all other times, they did not insist on his taking it, but +carried it away. Assured that those were all portents of the horrible +catastrophe, and reflecting on often-repeated threats in the audience +chamber that he should be burnt, he gave himself up to death, and +overwhelmed with sorrow, fell asleep a little before midnight. + +"Scarcely had he fallen asleep when the alcayde and guards entered the +cell, with great noise, bringing a lamp, for the first time since his +imprisonment that they had allowed a lamp to shine there. The alcayde, +laying down a suit of clothes, bade him put them on, and be ready to go +out when he came again. At two o'clock in the morning they returned, and +he issued from the cell, clad in a black vest and trowsers, striped with +white, and his feet bare. About two hundred prisoners, of whom he +was one, were made to sit on the floor, along the sides of a spacious +gallery, all in the same black livery, and just visible by the +gleaming of a few lamps. A large company of women were also ranged in a +neighboring gallery in like manner. But they were all motionless, and +no one knew his doom. Every eye was fixed, and each one seemed benumbed +with misery. + +"A third company Dellon perceived in a room not far distant, but they +were walking about, and some appeared to have long habits. Those were +persons condemned to be delivered to the secular arm, and the long +habits distinguished confessors busily collecting confessions in order +to commute that penalty for some other scarcely less dreadful. At four +o'clock, servants of the house came, with guards, and gave bread and +figs to those who would accept the refreshment. One of the guards gave +Dellon some hope of life by advising him to take what was offered, +which he had refused to do. 'Take your bread,' said the man, 'and if you +cannot eat it now, put it in your pocket; you will be certainly hungry +before you return.' This gave hope, that he should not end the day at +the stake, but come back to undergo penance. + +"A little before sunrise, the great bell of the cathedral tolled, and +its sound soon aroused the city of Goa. The people ran into the streets, +lining the chief thoroughfares, and crowding every place whence a view +could be had of the procession. Day broke, and Dellon saw the faces +of his fellow-prisoners, most of whom were Indians. He could only +distinguish, by their complexion, about twelve Europeans. Every +countenance exhibited shame, fear, grief, or an appalling blackness of +apathy, AS IF DIRE SUFFERING IN THE LIGHTLESS DUNGEONS UNDERNEATH HAD +BEREFT THEM OF INTELLECT. The company soon began to move, but slowly, +as one by one the alcayde led them towards the door of the great hall, +where the grand inquisitor sat, and his secretary called the name of +each as he came, and the name of a sponsor, who also presented himself +from among a crowd of the bettermost inhabitants of Goa, assembled there +for that service. 'The general of the Portuguese ships in the Indies' +had the honor of placing himself beside our Frenchman. As soon as the +procession was formed, it marched off in the usual order. + +"First, the Dominicans, honored with everlasting precedence on all such +occasions, led the way. Singing-boys also preceded, chanting a litany. +The banner of the Inquisition was intrusted to their hands. After the +banner walked the penitents--a penitent and a sponsor, two and two. A +cross bearer brought up the train, carrying a crucifix aloft, turned +towards them, in token of pity; and, on looking along the line, you +might have seen another priest going before the penitents with a +crucifix turned backwards, inviting their devotions. They to whom the +Inquisition no longer afforded mercy, walked behind the penitents, and +could only see an averted crucifix. These were condemned to be burnt +alive at the stake! On this occasion there were but two of this class, +but sometimes a large number were sentenced to this horrible death, and +presented to the spectator a most pitiable spectacle. Many of them +bore upon their persons the marks of starvation, torture, terror, and +heart-rending grief. Some faces were bathed in tears, while others +came forth with a smile of conquest on the countenance and words of +triumphant faith bursting from the lips. These, however, were known as +dogmatizers, and were generally gagged, the month being filled with a +piece of wood kept in by a strong leather band fastened behind the head, +and the arms tied together behind the back. Two armed familiars walked +or rode beside each of these, and two ecclesiastics, or some other +clerks or regulars, also attended. After these, the images of heretics +who had escaped were carried aloft, to be thrown into the flames; and +porters came last, tagging under the weight of boxes containing the +disinterred bodies on which the execution of the church had fallen, and +which were also to be burnt. + +"Poor Dellon went barefoot, like the rest, through the streets of Goa, +rough with little flint stones scattered about, and sorely were his feet +wounded during an hour's march up and down the principal streets. Weary, +covered with shame and confusion, the long train of culprits entered +the church of St. Francis, where preparation was made for the auto, the +climate of India not permitting a celebration of that solemnity +under the burning sky. They sat with their sponsors, in the galleries +prepared, sambenitos, grey zamarras with painted flames and devils, +corozas, tapers, and all the other paraphernalia of an auto, made up a +woeful spectacle. The inquisitor and other personages having taken their +seats of state, the provincial of the Augustinians mounted the pulpit +and delivered the sermon. Dellon preserved but one note of it. The +preacher compared the Inquisition to Noah's ark, which received all +sorts of beasts WILD, but sent them out TAME. The appearance of hundreds +who had been inmates of that ark certainly justified the figure. + +"After the sermon, two readers went up, one after the other, into the +same pulpit, and, between them, they read the processes and pronounced +the sentences, the person standing before them, with the alcayde, and +holding a lighted taper in his hand. Dellon, in turn, heard the cause +of his long-suffering. He had maintained the invalidity of baptismus +flaminis, or desire to be baptised, when there is no one to administer +the rite of baptism by water. He had said that images ought not to be +adored, and that an ivory crucifix was a piece of ivory. He had spoken +contemptuously of the Inquisition. And, above all, he had an ill +intention. His punishment was to be confiscation of his property, +banishment from India, and five years' service in the galleys in +Portugal, with penance, as the inquisitors might enjoin. As all the +prisoners were excommunicate, the inquisitor, after the sentence had +been pronounced, put on his alb and stole, walked into the middle of the +church, and absolved them all at once. Dellon's sponsor, who would not +even answer him before, when he spoke, now embraced him, called him +brother, and gave him a pinch of snuff, in token of reconciliation. + +"But there were two persons, a man and a woman, for whom the church had +no more that they could do; and these, with four dead bodies, and the +effigies of the dead, were taken to be burnt on the Campo Santo Lazaro, +on the river side, the place appointed for that purpose, that the +viceroy might see justice done on the heretics, as he surveyed the +execution from his palace-windows." + +The remainder of Dellon's history adds nothing to what we have already +heard of the Inquisition. He was taken to Lisbon, and, after working in +a gang of convicts for some time, was released on the intercession of +some friends in France with the Portuguese government. With regard to +his despair, and attempts to commit suicide, when in the holy house, +we may observe that, as he states, suicide was very frequent there. +The contrast of his disconsolate impatience with the resignation and +constancy of Christian confessors in similar circumstances, is obvious. +As a striking illustration of the difference between those who suffer +without a consciousness of divine favor, and those who rejoice with joy +unspeakable and full of glory, we would refer the reader to that noble +band of martyrs who suffered death at the stake, at the Auto held in +Seville, on Sunday, September 24, 1559. At that time twenty-one +were burnt, followed by one effigy, and eighteen penitents, who were +released. + +"One of the former was Don Juan Gonzales, Presbyter of Seville, an +eminent preacher. With admirable constancy he refused to make any +declaration, in spite of the severe torture, saying that he had not +followed any erroneous opinions, but that he had drawn his faith from +the holy Scriptures; and for this faith he pleaded to his tormentors in +the words of inspiration. He maintained that he was not a heretic, but +a Christian, and absolutely refused to divulge anything that would bring +his brethren into trouble. Two sisters of his were also brought out to +this Auto, and displayed equal faith. They would confess Christ, they +said, and suffer with their brother, whom they revered as a wise and +holy man. They were all tied to stakes on the quemadero, a piece of +pavement, without the walls of the city, devoted to the single use of +burning human victims. Sometimes this quemadero [Footnote: Llorente, the +historian of the Spanish Inquisition, says, "So many persons were to be +put to death by fire, the governor of Seville caused a permanent raised +platform of masonry to be constructed outside the city, which has +lasted to our time (until the French revolution) retaining its name of +Quemadero, or burning-place, and at the four corners four large hollow +stalutes of limestone, within which they used to place the impenitent +alive, that they might die by slow fires."] was a raised platform of +stone, adorned with pillows or surrounded with statues, to distinguish +and beautify the spot. Just as the fire was lit, the gag, which had +hitherto silenced Don Juan, was removed, and as the flames burst from +the fagots, he said to his sisters, 'Let us sing, Deus laudem meam ne +tacueris.' And they sang together, while burning, 'Hold not thy peace, +O God of my praise; for the mouth of the wicked and the mouth of the +deceitful are opened against me: they have spoken against me with a +lying tongue.' Thus they died in the faith of Christ, and of his holy +gospel." + + + + +APPENDIX IV. + +INQUISITION OF GOA, CONCLUDED. + +The Inquisition of Goa continued its Autos for a century after the +affair of Dellon. In the summer of 1808, Dr. Claudius Buchanan visited +that city, and had been unexpectedly invited by Joseph a Doloribus, +second and most active inquisitor, to lodge with him during his +visit. Not without some surprise, Dr. Buchanan found himself, heretic, +schismatic, and rebel as he was, politely entertained by so dread a +personage. Regarding his English visitor merely as a literary man, or +professing to do so, Friar Joseph, himself well educated, seemed to +enjoy his company, and was unreservedly communicative on every subject +not pertaining to his own vocation. When that subject was first +introduced by an apparently incidental question, he did not hesitate +to return the desired information, telling Dr. Buchanan that the +establishment was nearly as extensive as in former times. In the library +of the chief inquisitor he saw a register containing the names of all +the officers, who still were numerous. + +On the second evening after his arrival, the doctor was surprised to see +his host come from his apartment, clothed in black robes from head to +foot, instead of white, the usual color of his order (Augustinian). He +said that he was going to sit on the tribunal of the holy office, and it +transpired that, so far from his "august office" not occupying much of +his time, he had to sit there three or four days every week. After his +return, in the evening, the doctor put Dellon's book into his hand, +asking him if he had ever seen it. He had never seen it before, and, +after reading aloud and slowly, "Relation de l'Inquisition de Goa," +began to peruse it with eagerness. + +While Dr. Buchanan employed himself in writing, Friar Joseph devoured +page after page; but as the narrative proceeded, betrayed evident +symptoms of uneasiness. He then turned to the middle, looked at the end, +skimmed over the table of contents, fixed on its principal passages, +and at one place exclaimed, in his broad Italian accent, "Mendacium! +mendacium.'" The doctor requested him to mark the passages that were +untrue, proposed to discuss them afterwards, and said he had other books +on the subject. The mention of other books startled him; he looked up +anxiously at some books on the table, and then gave himself up to the +perusal of Dellon's "Relation," until bedtime. Even then, he asked +permission to take it to his chamber. + +The doctor had fallen asleep under the roof of the inquisitor's convent, +confident, under God, in the protection at that time guaranteed to +a British subject, his servants sleeping in the gallery outside +the chamber-door. About midnight, he was waked by loud shrieks and +expressions of terror from some one in the gallery. In the first moment +of surprise, he concluded it must be the alguazils of the holy office +seizing his servants to carry them to the Inquisition. But, on going +out, he saw the servants standing at the door, and the person who +had caused the alarm, a boy of about fourteen, at a little distance, +surrounded by some of the priests, who had come out of their cells on +hearing the noise. The boy said he had seen a spectre; and it was a +considerable time before the agitations of his body and voice +subsided. Next morning at breakfast, the inquisitor apologized for +the disturbance, and said the boy's alarm proceeded from a phantasma +animi,--phantom of the imagination. + +It might have been so. Phantoms might well haunt such a place. As to +Dellon's book, the inquisitor acknowledged that the descriptions +were just; but complained that he had misjudged the motives of the +inquisitors, and written uncharitably of Holy Church. Their conversation +grew earnest, and the inquisitor was anxious to impress his visitor with +the idea that the Inquisition had undergone a change in some respects, +and that its terrors were mitigated. At length Dr. Buchanan plainly +requested to see the Inquisition, that he might judge for himself as to +the humanity shown to the inmates,--according to the inquisitor,--and +gave, as a reason why he should be satisfied, his interest in the +affairs of India, on which he had written, and his purpose to write on +them again, in which case he could scarcely be silent concerning the +Inquisition. The countenance of his host fell; but, after some further +observations, he reluctantly promised to comply. Next morning, after +breakfast, Joseph a Doloribus went to dress for the holy office, and +soon returned in his black robes. He said he would go half an hour +before the usual time, for the purpose of showing him the Inquisition. +The doctor fancied he looked more severe than usual, and that his +attendants were not as civil as before. But the truth was, that the +midnight scene still haunted him. They had proceeded in their palanquins +to the holy house, distant about a quarter of a mile from the convent, +and the inquisitor said as they were ascending the steps of the great +entrance, that he hoped the doctor would be satisfied with a transient +view of the Inquisition, and would retire when he should desire him to +do so. The doctor followed with tolerable confidence, towards the +great hall aforementioned, where they were met by several well-dressed +persons, familiars, as it afterwards appeared, who bowed very low to the +inquisitor, and looked with surprise at the stranger. Dr. Buchanan paced +the hall slowly, and in thoughtful silence; the inquisitor thoughtful +too, silent and embarrassed. A multitude of victims seemed to haunt the +place, and the doctor could not refrain from breaking silence. "Would +not the Holy Church wish, in her mercy, to have those souls back again, +that she might allow them a little further probation?" The inquisitor +answered nothing, but beckoned him to go with him to a door at one end +of the hall. By that door he conducted him to some small rooms, and +thence, to the spacious apartments of the chief inquisitor. Having +surveyed those, he brought him back again to the great hall, and seemed +anxious that the troublesome visitor should depart; but only the very +words of Dr. B. can adequately describe the close of this extraordinary +interview." + +"Now, father," said I, "lead me to the dungeons below: I want to see the +captives." "No," said he, "that cannot be." I now began to suspect that +it had been in the mind of the inquisitor, from the beginning, to show +me only a certain part of the Inquisition, in the hope of satisfying +my inquiries in a general way. I urged him with earnestness; but he +steadily resisted, and seemed offended, or, rather, agitated, by my +importunity. I intimated to him plainly, that the only way to do justice +to his own assertion and arguments regarding the present state of the +Inquisition, was to show me the prisons and the captives. I should +then describe only what I saw; but now the subject was left in awful +obscurity. "Lead me down," said I, "to the inner building, and let me +pass through the two hundred dungeons, ten feet square, described by +your former captives. Let me count the number of your present captives, +and converse with them. I WANT, TO SEE IF THERE BE ANY SUBJECTS OF THE +BRITISH GOVERNMENT, TO WHOM WE OWE PROTECTION. I want to ask how long +they have been there, how long it is since they have seen the light +of the sun, and whether they ever expect to see it again. Show me the +chamber of torture, and declare what modes of execution or punishment +are now practiced inside the walls of the Inquisition, in lieu of the +public Auto de Fe. If, after all that has passed, father, you resist +this reasonable request, I should be justified in believing that you are +afraid of exposing the real state of the Inquisition in India." + +To these observations the inquisitor made no reply; but seemed impatient +that I should withdraw. "My good father," said I; "I am about to take +my leave of you, and to thank you for your hospitable attentions; and I +wish to preserve on my mind a favorable sentiment of your kindness and +candor. You cannot, you say, show me the captives and the dungeons; be +pleased, then, merely to answer this question, for I shall believe +your word: how many prisoners are there now below in the cells of the +Inquisition?" He replied, "That is a question which I cannot answer." +On his pronouncing these words, I retired hastily towards the door, and +wished him farewell. We shook hands with as much cordiality as we could, +at the moment, assume; and both of us, I believe, were sorry that our +parting took place with a clouded countenance. + +After leaving the inquisitor, Dr. Buchanan, feeling as if he could +not refrain from endeavoring to get another and perhaps a nearer view, +returned to avail himself of the pretext afforded by a promise from +the chief inquisitor, of a letter to one of the British residents at +Travancore, in answer to one which he had brought him from that officer. +The inquisitors he expected to find within, in the "board of the holy +office." The door-keepers surveyed him doubtfully, but allowed him to +pass. He entered the great hall, went up directly to the lofty crucifix +described by Dellon, sat down on a form, wrote some notes, and then +desired an attendant to carry in his name to the inquisitor. As he was +walking across the hall, he saw a poor woman sitting by the wall. She +clasped her hands, and looked at him imploringly. The sight chilled +his spirits; and as he was asking the attendants the cause of her +apprehension,--for she was awaiting trial,--Joseph a Doloribus came, in +answer to his message, and was about to complain of the intrusion, +when he parried the complaint by asking for the letter from the chief +inquisitor. He promised to send it after him, and conducted him to the +door. As they passed the poor woman, the doctor pointed to her, and said +with emphasis, "Behold, father, another victim of the Holy Inquisition." +The other answered nothing; they bowed, and separated without a word. + +When Dr. Buchanan published his "Christian Researches in Asia," in the +year 1812, the Inquisition still existed at Goa; but the establishment +of constitutional government in Portugal, put an end to it throughout +the whole Portuguese dominions. + + + + +APPENDIX V. + +INQUISITION AT MACERATA, ITALY. NARRATIVE OF MR. BOWER. METH. MAG. THIRD +VOL. + + +I never pretended that it was for the sake of religion alone, that I +left Italy, On the contrary, I have often declared, that, had I never +belonged to the Inquisition, I should have gone on, as most Roman +Catholics do, without ever questioning the truth of the religion I was +brought up in, or thinking of any other. But the unheard of cruelties +of that hellish tribunal shocked me beyond all expression, and rendered +me,--as I was obliged, by my office of Counsellor, to be accessary to +them,--one of the most unhappy men upon earth. I therefore began +to think of resigning my office; but as I had on several occasions, +betrayed some weakness as they termed it, that is, some compassion and +humanity, and had upon that account been reprimanded by the Inquisitor, +I was well apprized that my resignation would be ascribed by him to +my disapproving the proceedings of the holy tribunal. And indeed, to +nothing else could it be ascribed, as a place at that board was a +sure way to preferment, and attended with great privileges, and a +considerable salary. Being, therefore, sensible how dangerous a thing it +would be to give the least ground for any suspicions of that nature, +and no longer able to bear the sight of the many barbarities practised +almost daily within those walls, nor the reproaches of my conscience for +being accessary to them, I determined, after many restless nights, and +much deliberation, to withdraw at the same time from the Inquisition, +and from Italy. In this mind, and in the most unhappy and tormenting +situation that can possibly be imagined, I continued near a +twelve-month, not able to prevail on myself to execute the resolution +I had taken on account of the many dangers which I foresaw would +inevitably attend it, and the dreadful consequences of my failing in +the attempt. But, being in the mean time ordered by the Inquisitor, to +apprehend a person with whom I had lived in the greatest intimacy and +friendship, the part I was obliged to act on that occasion, left so deep +an impression on my mind as soon prevailed over all my fears, and made +me determine to put into execution, at all events, and without delay, +the design I had formed. Of that transaction I shall give a particular +account, as it will show in a very strong light the nature and +proceedings of that horrid court. + +The person whom the Inquisitor appointed me to apprehend was Count +Vicenzo della Torre, descended from an illustrious family in Germany, +and possessed of a very considerable estate in the territory of +Macerata. He was one of my very particular friends, and had lately +married the daughter of Signior Constantini, of Fermo, a lady no less +famous for her good sense than her beauty. With her family too, I had +contracted an intimate acquaintance, while Professor of Rhetoric in +Fermo, and had often attended the Count during his courtship, from +Macerata to Fermo, but fifteen miles distant. I therefore lived with +both in the greatest friendship and intimacy; and the Count was the +only person that lived with me, after I was made Counsellor of the +Inquisition, upon the same free footing as he had done till that time. +My other friends had grown shy of me, and gave me plainly to understand +that they no longer cared for my company. + +As this unhappy young gentleman was one day walking with another, he met +two Capuchin friars, and turning to his companion, when they had passed, +"what fools," said he, "are these, to think they shall gain heaven by +wearing sackcloth and going barefoot! Fools indeed, if they think so, +or that there is any merit in tormenting one's self; they might as well +live as we do, and they would get to heaven quite as soon." Who informed +against him, whether the friars, his companion, or somebody else, I +know not; for the inquisitors never tell the names of informers to the +Counsellors, nor the names of the witnesses, lest they should except +against them. It is to be observed, that all who hear any proposition +that appears to them repugnant to, or inconsistent with the doctrines of +holy mother church, are bound to reveal it to the Inquisitor, and also +to discover the person by whom it was uttered; and, in this affair no +regard is to be had to any ties, however sacred. The brother being bound +to accuse the brother, the father the son, the son the father, the wife +her husband, and the husband his wife; and all bound on pain of eternal +damnation, and of being treated as accomplices if they do not denounce +in a certain time; and no confessor can absolve a person who has heard +anything said in jest or in earnest, against the belief or practice +of the church, till that person has informed the Inquisitor of it, and +given him all the intelligence he can concerning the person by whom it +was spoken. + +Whoever it was that informed against my unhappy friend, whether the +friars, his companion, or somebody else who might have overheard him, +the Inquisitor acquainted the board one night, (for to be less observed, +they commonly meet, out of Rome, in the night) that the above mentioned +propositions had been advanced, and advanced gravely, at the sight of +two poor Capuchins; that the evidence was unexceptionable; and that +they were therefore met to determine the quality of the proposition, and +proceed against the delinquent. + +There are in each Inquisition twelve Counsellors, viz: four Divines, +four Canonists, and four Civilians. It is chiefly the province of the +divines to determine the quality of the proposition, whether it is +heretical, or only savors of heresy; whether it is blasphemous and +injurious to God and His saints or only erroneous, rash, schismatical, +or offensive to pious ears. The part of the proposition, "Fools! if +they think there is any merit in tormenting one's self," was judged and +declared heretical, as openly contradicting the doctrine and practice of +holy mother church recommending austerities as highly meritorious. The +Inquisitor observed, on this occasion, that by the proposition, "Fools +indeed" &c., were taxing with folly, not only the holy fathers, who had +all to a man practised great austerities, but St. Paul himself as the +Inquisitor understood it, adding that the practice of whipping one's +self, so much recommended by all the founders of religious orders, was +borrowed of the great apostle of the gentiles. + +The proposition being declared heretical, it was unanimously agreed by +the board that the person who had uttered it should be apprehended, and +proceeded against agreeably to the laws of the Inquisition. And now the +person was named; for, till it is determined whether the accused person +should or should not be apprehended, his name is kept concealed from +the counsellors, lest they should be biased, says the directory, in +his favor, or against him. For, in many instances, they keep up an +appearance of justice and equity, at the same time that, in truth, they +act in direct opposition to all the known laws of justice and equity. +No words can express the concern and astonishment it gave me to hear, +on such an occasion, the name of a friend for whom I had the greatest +esteem and regard. The Inquisitor was apprised of it; and to give me an +opportunity of practising what he had so often recommended to me, viz. +conquering nature with the assistance of grace, he appointed me to +apprehend the criminal, as he styled him, and to lodge him safe, before +daylight, in the prison of the holy inquisition. I offered to excuse +myself, but with the greatest submission, from being in any way +concerned in the execution of that order; an order, I said, which I +entirely approved of, but only wished it might be put in execution by +some other person; for your lordship knows, I said, the connection. But +the Inquisitor shocked at the word, said with a stern look and angry +tone of voice, "What! talk of connections where the faith is concerned? +There is your guard," (pointing to the Sbirri or bailiffs in waiting) +"let the criminal be secured in St. Luke's cell," (one of the worst,) +"before three in the morning." He then withdrew, and as he passed me +said, "Thus, nature is conquered." I had betrayed some weakness or sense +of humanity, not long before, in fainting away while I attended the +torture of one who was racked with the utmost barbarity, and I had on +that occasion been reprimanded by the Inquisitor for suffering nature +to get the better of grace; it being an inexcusable weakness, as he +observed, to be in any degree affected with the suffering of the body, +however great, when afflicted, as they ever are in the Holy Inquisition, +for the good of the soul. And it was, I presume, to make trial of the +effect of that reprimand, that the execution of this cruel order was +committed to me. As I could by no possible means decline it, I summoned +all my resolution, after passing an hour by myself, I may say in the +agonies of death, and set out a little after two in the morning for my +unhappy friend's house, attended by a notary of the Inquisition, and six +armed Sbirri. We arrived at the house by different ways and knocking +at the door, a maid-servant looked out of the window, and asked who +knocked. "The Holy Inquisition," was the answer, and at the same time +she was ordered to awake nobody, but to come down directly and open the +door, on pain of excommunication. At these words, the servant hastened +down, half naked as she was, and having with much ado, in her great +fright, opened the door, she conducted us as she was ordered to her +master's chamber. She often looked very earnestly at me, as she knew me, +and showed a great desire to speak with me; but of her I durst take no +kind of notice. I entered the bed-chamber with the notary, followed by +the Sbirri, when the lady awakening at the noise, and seeing the bed +surrounded by armed men, screamed out aloud and continued screaming as +out of her senses, till one of the Sbirri, provoked at the noise gave +her a blow on the forehead that made the blood flow, and she swooned +away. I rebuked the fellow severely, and ordered him to be whipped as +soon as I returned to the Inquisition. + +In the mean time, the husband awakening, and seeing me with my +attendants, cried out, in the utmost surprise, "MR. BOWER!" He said no +more, nor could I for some time utter a single word; and it was with +much ado that, in the end I so far mastered my grief as to be able +to let my unfortunate friend know that he was a prisoner of the Holy +Inquisition. "Of the Holy Inquisition!" he replied. "Alas I what have I +done? My dear friend, be my friend now." He said many affecting things; +but as I knew it was not in my power to befriend him, I had not the +courage to look him in the face, but turning my back to him, withdrew, +while he dressed, to a corner of the room, to give vent to my grief. The +notary stood by, quite unaffected. Indeed, to be void of all humanity, +to be able to behold one's fellow-creatures groaning under the most +exquisite torments cruelty can invent, without being in the least +affected with their sufferings, is one of the chief qualifications of +an inquisitor, and what all who belong to the Inquisition must strive to +attain to. It often happens, at that infernal tribunal, that while the +unhappy, and probably innocent, person is crying out in their presence +on the rack, and begging by all that is sacred for one moment's relief, +in a manner one would think no human heart could withstand, it often +happens, I say, that the inquisitor and the rest of his infamous crew, +quite unaffected with his complaints, and deaf to his groans, to his +tears and entreaties, are entertaining one another with the news of the +town; nay, sometimes they even insult, with unheard of barbarity, the +unhappy wretches in the height of their torment. + +To return to my unhappy prisoner. He was no sooner dressed than I +ordered the Bargello, or head of the Sbirri, to tie his hands with +a cord behind his back, as is practised on such occasions without +distinction of persons; no more regard being paid to men of the first +rank, when charged with heresy, than to the meanest offender. Heresy +dissolves all friendship; so that I durst no longer look upon the man +with whom I had lived in the greatest friendship and intimacy as my +friend, or show him, on that account, the least regard or indulgence. + +As we left the chamber, the countess, who had been conveyed out of the +room, met us, and screaming out in the most pitiful manner upon seeing +her husband with his hands tied behind his back like a thief or robber, +flew to embrace him, and hanging on his neck, begged, with a flood of +tears, we would be so merciful as to put an end to her life, that she +might have the satisfaction--the only satisfaction she wished for in +this world, of dying in the bosom of the man from whom she had vowed +never to part. The count, overwhelmed with grief, did not utter a single +word. I could not find it in my heart, nor was I in a condition to +interpose; and indeed a scene of greater distress was never beheld by +human eyes. However, I gave a signal to the notary to part them, which +he did accordingly, quite unconcerned; but the countess fell into a +swoon, and the count was meantime carried down stairs, and out of the +house, amid the loud lamentations and sighs of his servants, on all +sides, for he was a man remarkable for the sweetness of his temper, and +his kindness to all around him. + +Being arrived at the Inquisition, I consigned my prisoner into the +hands of a gaoler, a lay brother of St. Dominic, who shut him up in the +dungeon above-mentioned, and delivered the key to me. I lay that night +at the palace of the Inquisition, where every counsellor has a room, and +returned next morning the key to the inquisitor, telling him that his +order had been punctually complied with. The inquisitor had been already +informed of my conduct by the notary, and therefore, upon my delivering +the key to him, he said, "You have acted like one who is at least +desirous to overcome, with the assistance of grace, the inclinations of +nature;" that is, like one who is desirous, by the assistance of grace, +to metamorphose himself from a human creature into a brute or a devil. + +In the Inquisition, every prisoner is kept the first week of his +imprisonment in a dark narrow dungeon, so low that he cannot stand +upright in it, without seeing anybody but the gaoler, who brings him, +EVERY OTHER DAY, his portion of bread and water, the only food allowed +him. This is done, they say, to tame him, and render him, thus weakened, +more sensible of the torture, and less able to endure it. At the end of +the week, he is brought in the night before the board to be examined; +and on that occasion my poor friend appeared so altered, in a week's +time, that, had it not been for his dress, I should not have known him. +And indeed no wonder; a change of condition so sudden and unexpected; +the unworthy and barbarous treatment he had already met with; the +apprehension of what he might and probably should suffer; and perhaps, +more than anything else, the distressed and forlorn condition of his +once happy wife, whom he tenderly loved, whose company he had enjoyed +only six months, could be attended with no other effect. + +Being asked, according to custom, whether he had any enemies, and +desired to name them, he answered, that he bore enmity to no man, and he +hoped no man bore enmity to him. For, as in the Inquisition the person +accused is not told of the charge brought against him, nor of the person +by whom it is brought, the inquisitor asks him if he has any enemies, +and desires him to name them. If he names the informer, all further +proceedings are stopped until the informer is examined anew; and if the +information is found to proceed from ill-will and no collateral proof +can be produced, the prisoner is discharged. Of this piece of justice +they frequently boast, at the same time that they admit, both as +informers and witnesses, persons of the most infamous characters, +and such as are excluded by all other courts. In the next place, the +prisoner is ordered to swear that he will declare the truth, and conceal +nothing from the holy tribunal, concerning himself or others, that he +knows and the holy tribunal desires to know. He is then interrogated for +what crime he has been apprehended and imprisoned by the Holy Court of +the Inquisition, of all courts the most equitable, the most cautious, +the most merciful. To that interrogatory the count answered, with a +faint and trembling voice, that he was not conscious to himself of any +crime, cognizable by the Holy Court, nor indeed by any other; that he +believed and ever had believed whatever holy mother church believed or +required him to believe. He had, it seems quite forgotten what he +had unthinkingly said at the sight of the two friars. The inquisitor, +therefore, finding that he did not remember or would not own his crime, +after many deceitful interrogatories, and promises which he never +intended to fulfil, ordered him back to his dungeon, and allowing him +another week, as is customary in such cases, to recollect himself, told +him that if he could not in that time prevail upon himself to declare +the truth, agreeably to his oath, means would be found of forcing it +from him; and he must expect no mercy. + +At the end of the week he was brought again before the infernal +tribunal; and being asked the same questions, returned the same answers, +adding, that if he had done or said anything amiss, unwittingly or +ignorantly, he was ready to own it, provided the least hint of it were +given him by any there present, which he entreated them most earnestly +to do. He often looked at me, and seemed to expect--which gave me such +concern as no words can express--that I should say something in his +favor. But I was not allowed to speak on this occasion, nor were any of +the counsellors; and had I been allowed to speak, I durst not have said +anything in his favor; the advocate appointed by the Inquisition, and +commonly styled, "The Devil's Advocate," being the only person that +is suffered to speak for the prisoner. The advocate belongs to the +Inquisition, receives a salary from the Inquisition, and is bound by an +oath to abandon the defence of the prisoner, if he undertakes it, or not +to undertake it, if he finds it cannot be defended agreeably to the laws +of the Holy Inquisition; go that the whole is mere sham and imposition. +I have heard this advocate, on other occasions, allege something in +favor of the person accused; but on this occasion he declared that he +had nothing to offer in defence of the criminal. + +In the Inquisition, the person accused is always supposed guilty, unless +he has named the accuser among his enemies. And he is put to the torture +if he does not plead guilty, and own the crime that is laid to his +charge, without being so much as told what it is; whereas, in all other +courts, where tortures are used, the charge is declared to the party +accused before he is tortured; nor are they ever inflicted without +a credible evidence of his guilt. But in the Inquisition, a man is +frequently tortured upon the deposition of a person whose evidence would +be admitted in no other court, and in all cases without hearing the +charge. As my unfortunate friend continued to maintain his innocence, +not recollecting what he had said, he was, agreeably to the laws of +the Inquisition, put to the torture. He had scarcely borne it twenty +minutes, crying out the whole time, "Jesus Maria!" when his voice failed +him at once, and he fainted away. He was then supported, as he hung +by his arms, by two of the Sbirri, whose province it is to manage the +torture, till he returned to himself. He still continued to declare that +he could not recollect his having said or done anything contrary to the +Catholic faith, and earnestly begged they would let him know with what +he was charged, being ready to own it if it was true. + +The Inquisitor was then so gracious as to put him in mind of what he had +said on seeing the two Capuchins. The reason why they so long conceal +from the party accused the crime he is charged with, is, that if he +should be conscious to himself of his having ever said or done anything +contrary to the faith, which he is not charged with, he may discover +that too, imagining it to be the very crime he is accused of. After a +short pause, the poor gentleman owned that he had said something to that +purpose; but, as he had said it with no evil intention, he had never +more thought of it, from that time to the present. He added, but with a +voice so faint, as scarce could be heard, that for his rashness he was +willing to undergo what punishment soever the holy tribunal should, +think fit to impose on him; and he again fainted away. Being eased for +a while of his torment, and returned to himself, he was interrogated by +the promoter fiscal (whose business it is to accuse and to prosecute, as +neither the informer nor the witnesses, are ever to appear,) concerning +his intention. For in the Inquisition, it is not enough for the party +accused to confess the fact, he must declare whether his intention was +heretical or not; and many, to redeem themselves from the torments +they, can no longer endure, own their intention was heretical, though +it really was not. My poor friend often told us, he was ready to say +whatever he pleased, but as he never directly acknowledged his intention +to have been heretical, as is required by the rules of the court, he +was kept on the torture still, quite overcome with the violence of the +anguish, he was ready to expire. Being taken down, he was carried quite +senseless, back to his dungeon, and there, on the third day, death put +an end to his sufferings. The Inquisitor wrote a note to his widow, to +desire her to pray for the soul of her late husband, and warn her not +to complain of the holy Inquisition, as capable of any injustice or +cruelty. The estate was confiscated to the Inquisition, and a small +jointure allowed out of it to the widow. As they had only been +married six months, and some part of the fortune was not yet paid, the +inquisitor sent an order to the Constantini family, at Ferno, to pay the +holy office, and without delay, what they owed to the late Count Della +Torre. The effects of heretics are all ipso facto confiscated to the +Inquisition from the very day, not of their conviction, but of their +crime, so that all donations made after that time are void; and whatever +they may have given, is claimed by the Inquisition, into whatsoever +hands it may have passed; even the fortunes they have given to their +daughters in marriage, have been declared to belong to, and are claimed +by the Inquisition; nor can it be doubted, that the desire of those +confiscations is one great cause of the injustice and cruelty of that +court. + +The death of the unhappy Count Della Torre was soon publicly known; but +no man cared to speak of it, not even his nearest relations, nor so much +as to mention his name, lest anything should inadvertently escape them +that might be construed into a disapprobation of the proceedings of the +most holy tribunal; so great is the awe all men live in of that jealous +and merciless court. + +The deep impression that the death of my unhappy friend, the barbarous +and inhuman treatment he had met with, and the part I had been obliged +to act in so affecting a tragedy, made on my mind, got at once the +better of my fears, so that, forgetting in a manner the dangers I had +till then so much apprehended, I resolved, without further delay to put +in execution the design I had formed, of quitting the Inquisition, and +bidding forever adieu to Italy. To execute that design with some safety, +I proposed to beg leave to visit the Virgin of Loretto, but thirteen +miles distant, and to pass a week there; but in the mean time, to make +the best of my way out of the reach of the Inquisition. + +Having, therefore, after many conflicts with myself, asked leave to +visit the neighboring sanctuary, and obtained it, I set out on horseback +the very next morning, leaving, as I proposed to keep the horse, his +full value with the owner. I took the road to Loretto, but turned out +of it a short distance from Recanati, after a most violent struggle with +myself, the attempt appearing to me at that juncture, quite desperate +and impracticable; and the dreadful doom reserved for me should I +miscarry, presented itself to my mind in the strongest light. But the +reflection that I had it in my power to avoid being taken alive, and +a persuasion that a man in my situation might lawfully avoid it, when +every other means failed him, at the expense of his life, revived my +staggered resolution; and all my fears ceasing at once, I steered my +course, leaving Loretto behind me, to Rocca Contrada, to Fossonbrone, to +Calvi in the dukedom of Urbino, and from thence through the Romagna into +Bolognese, keeping the by-roads, and at a good distance from the cities +through which the high road passed. + +Thus I advanced very slowly, travelling in very bad roads, and often in +places where there was no road at all, to avoid, not only the cities, +and towns, but also the villages. In the mean time I seldom had any +other support but some coarse provisions, and a very small quantity +even, of them, that the poor shepherds, the countrymen or wood cleavers +I met in those unfrequented by-places, could spare me. My horse fared +not much better than myself; but, in choosing my sleeping-place I +consulted his convenience as much as my own, passing the night where I +found most shelter for myself, and most grass for him. In Italy there +are very few solitary farm-houses or cottages, the country people all +living together in villages; and I thought it far safer to lie where I +could be in any way sheltered, than to venture into any of them. Thus I +spent seventeen days before I got out of the ecclesiastical state; and +I very narrowly escaped being taken or murdered, on the very borders of +that state; it happened thus. + +I had passed two whole days without any kind of subsistence whatever, +meeting with no one in the by-roads that could supply me with any, and +fearing to come near any house, as I was not far from the borders of the +dominions of the Pope. I thought I should be able to hold out till I +got into the Modanese, where I believed I should be in less danger than +while I remained in the papal dominions. But finding myself, about noon +of the third day, extremely weak and ready to faint away, I came into +the high road that leads from Bologna to Florence, a few miles distant +from the former city, and alighted at a post house, that stood quite +by itself. Having asked the woman of the house whether she had any +victuals, and being told that she had, I went to open the door of the +only room in the house, (that being a place where gentlemen only stop +to change horses,) and saw to my great surprise, a placard pasted on it, +with a minute description of my whole person, sad a promise of a reward +of 900 crowns (about 200 pounds English money) for delivering me up +alive to the Inquisition, being a fugitive from that holy tribunal, +and of 600 crowns for my head. By the same placard, all persons were +forbidden, on pain of the greater excommunication, to receive or +harbor, entertain, conceal, or screen me, or to be in any way aiding, or +assisting me to make my escape. This greatly alarmed me, as the reader +may well imagine; but I was still more frightened, when entering the +room, I saw two fellows drinking there, who, fixing their eyes on me as +soon as I went in, continued looking at me very steadfastly. I strove, +by wiping my face and blowing my nose, and by looking out of the window, +to prevent their having a full view of my features. But, one of +them saying, "The gentleman seems afraid to be seen," I put up my +handkerchief, and turning to the fellow, said boldly, "What do you mean +you rascal? Look at me; am I afraid to be seen?" He said nothing, but +looking again steadfastly at me, and nodding his head, went out, and +his companion immediately followed him. I watched them, and seeing them, +with two or three more, in close conference, and no doubt consulting +whether they should apprehend me or not, I walked that moment into +the stable, mounted my horse unobserved by them, and while they were +deliberating in an orchard behind the house, rode off at full speed, and +in a few hours got into the Modanese, where I refreshed both with food +and rest, as I was there in no immediate danger, my horse and myself. I +was indeed surprised to find that those fellows did not pursue me, nor +can I in any other way account for it, but by supposing, what is not +improbable, that, as they were strangers as well as myself, and had all +the appearance of banditti or ruffians flying out of the dominions of +the Pope, the woman of the house did not care to trust them with her +horses. From the Modanese I continued my journey, more leisurely through +the Parmesan, the Milanese, and part of the Venetian territory, to +Chiavenna, subject to the Grisons, who abhor the very name of the +Inquisition, and are ever ready to receive and protect all who, flying +from it, take refuge, as many Italians do, in their dominions. Still +I carefully concealed who I was, and whence I came, for, though no +Inquisition prevails among the Swiss, yet the Pope's nuncio who resides +at Lucerne, (a popish canton through which I was to pass,) might have +persuaded the magistrate to stop me as an apostate and deserter from the +order. + +Having rested a few days at Chiavenna, I resumed my journey quite +refreshed, continuing it through the country of the Grisons, and the two +small cantons of Ury and Underwald, to the canton of Lucerne. There +I missed my way, as I was quite unacquainted with the country, and +discovering a city at a distance, was advancing to it, but slowly, as I +knew not where I was, when a countryman whom I met, informed me that the +city before me was Lucerne. Upon that intelligence, I turned out of the +road as soon as the countryman was out of sight, and that night I +passed with a good natured shepherd in his cottage, who supplied me with +sheep's milk, and my horse with plenty of grass. I set out early next +morning, making my way westward, as I knew that Berne lay west of +Lucerne. But, after a few miles, the country proved very mountainous, +and having travelled the whole day over mountains I was overtaken among +them by night. As I was looking out for a place where I might shelter +myself during the night, against the snow and rain, (for it both snowed +and rained,) I perceived a light at a distance, and making towards it, +I got into a kind of foot-path, but so narrow and rugged that I was +obliged to lead my horse, and feel my way with one foot, (having no +light to direct me,) before I durst move the other. Thus, with much +difficulty I reached the place where the light was, a poor little +cottage, and knocking at the door, was asked by a man within who I was, +and what I wanted? I answered that I was a stranger and had lost my way. +"Lost your way!" exclaimed the man, "There is no way here to lose." I +then asked him what canton I was in? and upon his answering that I was +in the canton of Berne, I cried out transported with joy, "I thank God +that I am." The good man answered, "And so do I." I then told him who I +was, and that I was going to Berne but had quite lost myself by keeping +out of all the high roads, to avoid falling into the hands of those +who sought my destruction. He thereupon opened the door, received and +entertained me with all the hospitality his poverty would admit of; +regaled me with sour crout and some new laid eggs, the only provision +he had, and clean straw with a kind of rug for a bed, he having no other +for himself and wife. The good woman expressed as much good nature as +her husband, and said many kind things in the Swiss language, which +her husband interpreted to me in the Italian; for that language he well +understood, having learned it in his youth, while servant in a public +home on the borders of Italy, where both languages are spoken. I never +passed a more comfortable night; and no sooner did I begin to stir in +the morning, than the good man and his wife both came to know how +I rested; and, wishing they had been able to accommodate me better, +obliged me to breakfast on two eggs, which providence, they said, had +sent them for that purpose. I took leave of the wife, who seemed most +sincerely to wish me a good journey. As for the husband, he would by all +means attend me to the high road leading to Berne; which road he said +was but two miles distant from that place. But he insisted on my first +going back with him, to see the way I had come the night before; the +only way, he said, I could have possibly come from the neighboring +canton of Lucerne. I saw it, and shuddered at the danger I had escaped; +for I found I had walked and led my horse a good way along a very narrow +path on the brink of a very dangerous precipice. The man made so +many pertinent and pious remarks on the occasion, as both charmed and +surprised me. I no less admired his disinterestedness than his piety; +for, upon our parting, after he had attended me till I was out of all +danger of losing my way, I could by no means prevail upon him to accept +of any reward for his trouble. He had the satisfaction, he said, of +having relieved me in the greatest distress, which was in itself a +sufficient reward, and he wished for no other. + +Having at length got safe into French Flanders, I there repaired to the +college of the Scotch Jesuits at Douay, and discovering myself to the +rector, I acquainted him with the cause of my sudden departure from +Italy, and begged him to give notice of my arrival, as well as the +motives of my flight to Michael Angelo Tambuvini, general of the order, +and my very particular friend. + +The rector wrote as I desired him, to the general, and he, taking no +notice of my flight, in his answer, (for he could not disapprove, and +did not think it safe to approve of it,) ordered me to continue where I +was till further notice. I arrived at Douay early in May, and continued +there till the beginning of July, when the rector received a second +letter from the general, acquainting him that he had been commanded by +the congregation of the Inquisition, to order me, wherever I was, back +into Italy; to promise me, in their name, full pardon and forgiveness if +I obeyed, but if I did not obey, to treat me as an apostate. He added, +that the same order had been transmitted, soon after my flight, to +the nuncios at the different Roman Catholic courts; and he, therefore, +advised me to consult my own safety without further delay. + +Upon the receipt of the general's kind letter, the rector was of opinion +that I should repair by all means, and without loss of time, to England, +not only as the safest asylum I could fly to, in my present situation, +but as a place where I should soon recover my native language, and be +usefully employed, either there or in Scotland. The place being thus +agreed on, and it being at the same time settled between the rector and +me, that I should set out the very next morning, I solemnly promised, at +his request and desire, to take no kind of notice, after my arrival +in England, of his having been in any way privy to my flight, or the +general's letter to him. This promise I have faithfully and honorably +observed; and should have thought myself guilty of the blackest +ingratitude if I had not observed it, being sensible that, had it been +known at Rome, that, either the rector or general had been accessary to +my flight, THE INQUISITION WOULD HAVE RESENTED IT SEVERELY IN BOTH. For +although a Jesuit in France, in Flanders, or in Germany, is out of the +reach of the Inquisition, the general is not; and the high tribunal not +only have it in their power to punish the general himself, who resides +constantly at Rome, but may oblige him to inflict what punishment they +please on any of the order obnoxious to them. + +The rector went that very night out of town, and in his absence, but not +without his privity, I took one of the horses of the college, early +next morning, as if I were going for a change of air, being somewhat +indisposed, to pass a few days at Lisle; but steering a different +course, I reached Aire that night and Calais the next day. I was there +in no danger of being stopped and seized at the prosecution of the +Inquisition, a tribunal no less abhorred in France than in England. +But being informed that the nuncios at the different courts had been +ordered, soon after my flight, to cause me to be apprehended in Roman +Catholic countries through which I must pass, as an apostate and +deserter from the order, I was under no small apprehension of being +discovered and apprehended as such even at Calais. No sooner, therefore, +did I alight at the Inn, than I went down to the quay, and there as I +was very little acquainted with the sea, and thought the passage much +shorter than it is, I endeavored to engage some fishermen to carry me +that very night, in one of their small vessels, over to England. This +alarmed the guards of the harbor, and I should have been certainly +apprehended as a person guilty, or suspected of some great crime, +fleeing from justice, had not Lord Baltimore, whom I had the good luck +to meet in the Inn, informed me of my danger, and pitying my condition, +attended me that moment, with all his company, to the port, and conveyed +me immediately on board his yacht. There I lay that night, leaving every +thing I had but the clothes on my back, in the Inn; and the next day his +Lordship set me ashore at Dover, from whence I came in the common stage +to London. + +In the year 1706, the Inquisition at Arragon was broken up by the French +troops, under the command of the Duke of Orleans. The Holy Inquisitors +were driven from their beautiful house, and in answer to their indignant +remonstrance were told that the king wanted the house to quarter his +troops in, and they were therefore compelled to leave it immediately. +The doors of the prisons were then thrown open, and among the four +hundred prisoners who were set at liberty were sixty young women, very +beautiful in person, and clad in the richest attire. + +Anthony Gavin, formerly one of the Roman Catholic priests of Saragossa, +Spain, relates (in a book published by him after his conversion) that +when travelling in France he met one of those women in the inn at +Rotchfort; the son of the inn-keeper, formerly an officer in the French +army, having married her for her great beauty and superior intelligence. +In accordance with his request, she freely related to him the incidents +of her prison life, from which we take the following extract: + +"Early the next morning, Mary got up, and told me that nobody was up +yet in the house; and that she would show me the DRY PAN and the GRADUAL +FIRE, on condition that I should keep it a secret for her sake as well +as my own. This I promised, and she took me along with her, and showed +me a dark room with a thick iron door, and within it an oven and a large +brass pan upon it, with a cover of the same and a lock to it. The oven +was burning at the time, and I asked Mary for what purpose the pan was +there. Without giving me any answer, she took me by the hand and led +me to a large room, where she showed me a thick wheel, covered on both +sides with thick boards, and opening a little window in the center of +it, desired me to look with a candle on the inside of it, and I saw all +the circumference of the wheel set with SHARP RAZORS. After that she +showed me a PIT FULL OF SERPENTS AND TOADS. Then she said to me, 'Now, +my good mistress, I'll tell you the use of these things. The dry pan and +gradual fire are for those who oppose the holy father's will, and for +heretics. They are put naked and alive into the pan, and the cover of it +being locked up, the executioner begins to put in the oven a small fire, +and by degrees he augmenteth it, till the body is burned to ashes. The +second is designed for those who speak against the Pope and the holy +fathers. They are put within the wheel, and the door being locked, the +executioner turns the wheel till the person is dead. The third is for +those who contemn the images, and refuse to give the due respect and +veneration to ecclesiastical persons; for they are thrown alive into the +pit, and there they become the food of serpents and toads.' Then Mary +said to me that another day she would show me the torments for public +sinners and transgressors of the commandments of holy mother church; +but I, in deep amazement, desired her to show me no more places; for the +very thought of those three which I had seen, was enough to terrify me +to the heart. So we went to my room, and she charged me again to be very +obedient to all commands, for if I was not, I was sure to undergo the +torment of the dry pan." + +Llorente, the Spanish historian and secretary-general of the +Inquisition, relates the following incident: "A physician, Juan de +Salas, was accused of having used a profane expression, twelve months +before, in the heat of debate. He denied the accusation, and produced +several witnesses to prove his innocence. But Moriz, the inquisitor at +Valladolid, where the charge was laid, caused de Salas to be brought +into his presence in the torture-chamber, stripped to his shirt, and +laid on a LADDER or DONKEY, an instrument resembling a wooden trough, +just large enough to receive the body, with no bottom, but having a +bar or bars to placed that the body bent, by its own weight, into an +exquisitely painful position. His head was lower than his heels, and the +breathing, in consequence, became exceedingly difficult. The poor man, +so laid, was bound around the arms and legs with hempen cords, each of +them encircling the limb eleven times. + +"During this part of the operation they admonished him to confess the +blasphemy; but he only answered that he had never spoken a sentence +of such a kind, and then, resigning himself to suffer, repeated the +Athanasian creed, and prayed to God and our Lady many times. Being +still bound, they raised his head, covered his face with a piece of fine +linen, and, forcing open the mouth, caused water to drip into it from an +earthen jar, slightly perforated at the bottom, producing in addition +to his sufferings from distension, a horrid sensation of choking. But +again, when they removed the jar for a moment, he declared that he had +never uttered such a sentence; and this he often repeated. They then +pulled the cords on his right leg, cutting into the flesh, replaced the +linen on his face, dropped the water as before, and tightened the cords +on his right leg the second time; but still he maintained that he +had never spoken such a thing; and in answer to the questions of his +tormentors, constantly reiterated that he HAD NEVER SPOKEN THOSE WORDS. +Moriz then pronounced that the said torture should be regarded as +begun, but not finished; and De Salas was released, to live, if he could +survive, in the incessant apprehension that if he gave the slightest +umbrage to a familiar, he would be carried again into the same chamber, +and be RACKED IN EVERY LIMB." + +Llorente also relates, from the original records, another case quite as +cruel and unjust as the above. "On the 8th day of December, 1528, one +Catalina, a woman of BAD CHARACTER, informed the inquisitors that, +EIGHTEEN YEARS BEFORE she had lived in the house with a Morisco named +Juan, by trade a coppersmith, and a native of Segovia; that she had +observed that neither he nor his children ate pork or drank wine, and +that, on Saturday nights and Sunday mornings they used to wash their +feet, which custom, as well as abstinence from pork and wine, was +peculiar to the Moors. The old man was at that time an inhabitant of +Benevente, and seventy-one years of age. But the inquisitors at once +summoned him into their presence, and questioned him at three several +interviews. All that he could tell was, that he received baptism when he +was forty-five years of age; that having never eaten pork or drunk wine, +he had no taste for them; and that, being coppersmiths, they found it +necessary to wash themselves thoroughly once a week. After some other +examinations, they sent him back to Benevente, with prohibition to go +beyond three leagues' distance from the town. Two years afterwards the +inquisitor determined that he should be threatened with torture, IN +ORDER TO OBTAIN INFORMATION THAT MIGHT HELP THEM TO CRIMINATE OTHERS. +He was accordingly taken to Valladolid, and in a subterranean chamber, +called the 'chamber, or dungeon, of torment,' stripped naked, and bound +to the 'ladder.' This might well have extorted something like confession +from an old man of seventy-one; but he told them that whatever he might +say when under torture would be merely extorted by the extreme anguish, +and therefore unworthy of belief; that he would not, through fear of +pain, confess what had never taken place. They kept him in close prison +until the next Auto de Fe, when he walked among the penitents, with a +lighted candle in his hand, and, after seeing others burnt to death, +paid the holy office a fee of four ducats, and went home, not acquitted, +but released. He was not summoned again, as he died soon afterwards." + +It sometimes happened that an individual was arrested by mistake, and +a person who was entirely innocent was tortured instead of the real or +supposed criminal. A case of this kind Mr. Bower found related at length +in the "Annals of the Inquisition at Macerata." + +"An order was sent from the high tribunal at Rome to all the inquisitors +throughout Italy, enjoining them to apprehend a clergyman minutely +described in that order. One Answering the description in many +particulars being discovered in the diocese of Osimo, at a small +distance from Macerata, and subject to that Inquisition, he was there +decoyed into the holy office, and by an order from Rome SO RACKED AS TO +LOSE HIS SENSES. In the mean time, the true person being apprehended, +the unhappy wretch was dismissed, by a second order from Rome, but he +never recovered the use of his senses, NOR WAS ANY CARE TAKEN OF HIM BY +THE INQUISITION." + +It would be easy to fill a volume with such narratives as the above, but +we forbear. We are not writing a history of the Inquisition. We simply +wish to exhibit the true spirit by which the Romanists are actuated in +their dealings with those over whom they have power. We therefore, in +closing this chapter of horrors, beg leave to place before our readers +one of the FATHERLY BENEDICTIONS with which, His Holiness, the Pope, +dismisses his refractory subjects. Does it not show most convincingly +what he would do here in America, if he had, among us, the power he +formerly possessed in the old world, when the least inadvertent word +might perchance seal the doom of the culprit? + + +A POPISH BULL OK CURSE. + +"Pronounced on all who leave the Church of Rome. By the authority of God +Almighty, the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, and the undefiled Virgin +Mary, mother and patroness of our Saviour, and of all celestial virtues, +Angels, Archangels, Thrones, Dominions, Powers, Cherubim and Seraphim, +and of all the holy Patriarchs, Prophets, and of all the Apostles and +Evangelists, of the holy innocents, who in the sight of the holy Lamb +are found worthy to sing the new song of the Holy Martyrs and Holy +Confessors, and of all the Holy Virgins, and of all the Saints, together +with the Holy Elect of God,--MAY HE BE DAMNED. We excommunicate and +anathematize him, from the threshold of the holy church of God Almighty. +We sequester him, that he may be tormented, disposed, and be delivered +over with Datham and Abiram, and with those who say unto the Lord, +'Depart from us, we desire none of thy ways;' as a fire is quenched with +water, so let the light of him be put out forevermore, unless it shall +repent him, and make satisfaction. Amen. + +"May the Father who creates man, curse him. May the Son, who suffered +for us, curse him! May the Holy Ghost who is poured out in baptism, +curse him! May the Holy Cross, which Christ for our salvation, +triumphing over his enemies, ascended, curse him! + +"May the Holy Mary, ever Virgin and Mother of God, curse him! May all +the Angels, Principalities, and Powers, and all heavenly Armies curse +him! May the glorious band of the Patriarchs and Prophets curse him! +"May St. John the Precursor, and St John the Baptist, and St. Peter +and St Paul, and St. Andrew and all other of Christ's Apostles together +curse him and may the rest of the Disciples and Evangelists who by their +preaching converted the universe, and the Holy and wonderful company +of Martyrs and Confessors, who by their works are found pleasing to God +Almighty; may the holy choir of the Holy Virgins, who for the honor of +God have despised the things of the world, damn him. May all the Saints +from the beginning of the world to everlasting ages, who are found to be +beloved of God, damn him! + +"May he be damned wherever he be, whether in the house or in the alley, +in the woods or in the water, or in the church! May he be cursed in +living or dying! + +"May he be cursed in eating and drinking, in being hungry, in being +thirsty, in fasting and sleeping, in slumbering, and in sitting, in +living, in working, in resting, and in blood letting! May he be cursed +in all the faculties of his body! + +"May he be cursed inwardly and outwardly. May he be cursed in his hair; +cursed be he in his brains, and his vertex, in his temples, in his +eyebrows, in his cheeks, in his jaw-bones, in his nostrils, in his +teeth, and grinders, in his lips, in his shoulders, in his arms, and in +his fingers. + +"May he be damned in his mouth, in his breast, in his heart, and +purtenances, down to the very stomach! + +"May he be cursed in his reins and groins, in his thighs and his hips, +and in his knees, his legs and his feet, and his toe-nails! + +"May he be cursed in all his joints, and articulation of the members; +from the crown of the head to the soles of his feet, may there be no +soundness! + +"May the Son of the living God, with all the glory of his majesty, CURSE +HIM! And may Heaven, with all the powers that move therein, rise +up against him, and curse and damn him; unless he repent and make +satisfaction! Amen! So be it. Be it so. Amen." + +Such was the CURSE pronounced on the Rev. Wm. Hogan, (a converted Roman +Catholic priest) a few years since, in Philadelphia. + +As a further proof of the cruel, persecuting spirit of Catholicism, let +us glance at a few extracts from their own publications. + +"Children," they say, "are obliged to denounce their parents or +relations who are guilty of heresy; ALTHOUGH THEY KNOW THAT THEY WILL BE +BURNT. They may refuse them all nourishment, and permit them to die +with hunger; or they may KILL THEM as enemies, who violate the rights of +humanity.--Escobar, Theolg. Moral, vol. 4, lib. 31, sec. 2, precept 4, +prop. 5, p. 239." + +"A man condemned by the Pope, may be killed wherever he is found."--La +Croix, vol. 1, p. 294. + +"Children may kill their parents, if they would turn their children +from the Popish faith." "If a judge decide contrary to law, the injured +person may defend himself by killing the judge."--Fangundez Precept +Decal, vol. 1, lib. 4, chap. 2, p. 501, 655, and vol. 2, lib. 8, chap. +32; p. 390. + +"To secretly kill your calumniator, to avoid scandal, is +justifiable."--Ayrault, Cens. p. 319. + +"You may kill before hand, any person who may put you to death, +not EXCEPTING THE JUDGE, AND WITNESSES, because it is +self-defence."--Emanuel Sa. Aphor, p. 178. + +"A priest may kill those who hinder him from taking possession of any +Ecclesiastical office."--Arnicus, Num, 131. + +"You may charge your opponent with false crime to take away his credit, +as well as kill him."--Guimenius, prop, 8, p. 86. + +"Priests may kill the laity to preserve their goods."--Nolina, vol. 3, +disput. 16, p. 1786. + +"You may kill any man to save a crown."--Taberna, Synop. Theol. Tract, +pars. 2, chap. 27, p. 256. + +"BY THE COMMAND OF GOD IT IS LAWFUL TO MURDER THE INNOCENT, TO ROB, AND +TO COMMIT ALL KIND OF WICKEDNESS, BECAUSE HE IS THE LORD OF LIFE +AND DEATH, AND ALL THINGS; AND THUS TO FULFILL HIS MANDATE IS OUR +DUTY."--Alagona, Thorn. Aquin, Sum. Theol. Compend, Quest. 94, p. 230. + +Again, in the Romish Creed found in the pocket of Priest Murphy, who was +killed in the battle of Arklow, 1798, we find the following articles. +"We acknowledge that the priests can make vice virtue, and virtue vice, +according to their pleasure. + +"We are bound to believe that the holy massacre was lawful, and lawfully +put into execution, against Protestants, and likewise WE ARE TO CONTINUE +THE SAME, PROVIDED WITH SAFETY TO OUR LIVES! + +"We are bound not to keep our oaths with heretics, though bound by the +most sacred ties. We are bound not to believe their oaths; for their +principles are damnation. We are bound to drive heretics with fire, +sword, faggot, and confusion, out of the land; as our holy fathers say, +if their heresies prevail we will become their slaves. We are bound +to absolve without money or price, those who imbrue their hands in +the blood of a heretic!" Do not these extracts show very clearly that +Romanism can do things as bad as anything in the foregoing narrative? + + + + +APPENDIX VI. + +ROMANISM OF THE PRESENT DAY. + +Whenever we refer to the relentless cruelties of the Romanists, we are +told, and that, too, by the influential, the intelligent, those who are +well-informed on other subjects, that "these horrid scenes transpired +only in the 'dark ages;'" that "the civilization and refinement of the +present age has so modified human society, so increased the milk of +human kindness, that even Rome would not dare, if indeed she had the +heart, to repeat the cruelties of by-gone days." + +For the honor of humanity we could hope that this opinion was correct; +but facts of recent date compel us to believe that it is as false as it +is ruinous to the best interests of our country and the souls of men. +A few of these facts, gathered from unquestionable sources, and some of +them related by the actors and sufferers themselves, we place before the +reader. + +In November, 1854, Ubaldus Borzinski, a monk of the Brothers of Mercy, +addressed an earnest petition to the Pope, setting forth the shocking +immoralities practised in the convents of his order in Bohemia. +He specifies nearly forty crimes, mostly perpetrated by priors and +subpriors, giving time, place, and other particulars, entreating the +Pope to interpose his power, and correct those horrible abuses. + +For sending this petition, he was thrown into a madhouse of the Brothers +of Mercy, at Prague, where he still languishes in dreary confinement, +though the only mark of insanity he ever showed was in imagining that +the Pope would interfere with the pleasures of the monks. + +This Ubaldus has a brother, like minded with himself, also a member of +the same misnamed order of monks, who has recently effected his escape +from durance vile. + +John Evangelist Borzinski was a physician in the convent of the Brothers +of Mercy at Prague. He is a scientific and cultivated man. By the +study of the Psalms and Lessons from the New Testament, which make up +a considerable part of the Breviary used in cloisters, he was first +led into Protestant views. He had been for seventeen years resident in +different cloisters of his order, as sick-nurse, alms gatherer, +student, and physician, and knew the conventual life out and out. As he +testifies: "There was little of the fear of God, so far as I could +see, little of true piety; but abundance of hypocrisy, eye-service, +deception, abuse of the poor sick people in the hospitals, such love +and hatred as are common among the children of this world, and the most +shocking vices of every kind." + +He now felt disgust for the cloister life, and for the Romish religion, +and he sought, by the aid of divine grace, to attain to the new birth +through the Word of God. Speaking of his change of views to a Prussian +clergyman, he thus describes his conversion: "Look you, it was thus I +became a Protestant. I found a treasure in that dustheap, and went away +with it." This treasure he prized more and more. He then thought +within himself, if these detached passages can give such light, what an +illumination he must receive if he could read and understand the whole +Bible. + +He did not, however, betray his dissatisfaction, but devoted himself +to his professional duties with greater diligence. He might still have +remained in the Order, his life hid with Christ in God, had not the +hierarchy, under pretence of making reforms and restoring the neglected +statutes of the Order, brought in such changes for the worse as led him +to resolve to leave the order, and the Romish church as well. Following +his convictions, and the advice of a faithful but very cautious +clergyman, he betook himself to the territories of Prussia, where, on +the 17th of January, 1855, he was received into the national church at +Petershain, by Dr. Nowotny, himself formerly a Bohemian priest. This was +not done till great efforts had been made to induce him to change his +purpose, and also to get his person into the power of his adversaries. +As he had now left the church of Rome, become an openly acknowledged +member of another communion, he thought he might venture to return to +his own country. Taking leave of his Prussian friends, to whom he had +greatly endeared himself by his modesty and his lively faith, he went +back to Bohemia, with a heart full of peace and joy. + +He lived for some time amidst many perplexities, secluded in the house +of his parents at Prosnitz, till betrayed by some who dwelt in the same +habitation. On the 6th of March he was taken out of bed, at eight, by +the police, and conveyed first to the cloister in Prosnitz, where he +suffered much abuse, and from thence to the cloister in Prague. Here the +canon Dittrich, "Apostolical Convisitator of the Order of the Brothers +of Mercy," justified all the inhuman treatment he had suffered, and +threatened him with worse in case he refused to recant and repent. +Dittrich not only deprived him of his medical books, but told him that +his going over to Protestantism was a greater crime than if he had +plundered the convent of two thousand florins. He was continually dinned +with the cry, "Retract, retract!" He was not allowed to see his brother, +confined in the same convent, nor other friends, and was so sequestered +in his cell as to make him feel that he was forgotten by all the world. + +He managed, through some monks who secretly sympathized with him, to get +a letter conveyed occasionally to Dr. Nowotny. These letters were filled +with painful details of the severities practised upon him. In one of +them he says, "My only converse is with God, and the gloomy walls around +me." He was transferred to a cell in the most unwholesome spot, and +infested with noisome smells not to be described. Close by him were +confined some poor maniacs, sunk below the irrational brutes. + +Under date of April 23d he writes: "Every hour, in this frightful +dungeon seems endless to me. For many weeks have I sat idle in this +durance, with no occupation but prayer and communion with God." His +appeals to civil authority and to the Primate of Hungary procured him no +redress, but only subjected him to additional annoyances and hardships. +His aged father, a man of four-score years, wept to see him, though of +sound understanding, locked up among madmen; and when urged to make his +son recant, would have nothing to do with it, and returned the same +day to his sorrowful home. As he had been notified that he was to be +imprisoned for life, he prayed most earnestly to the Father of mercies +for deliverance; and he was heard, for his prayers and endeavors wrought +together. The sinking of his health increased his efforts to escape; +for, though he feared not to die, he could not bear the thought of dying +imprisoned in a mad-house, where he knew that his enemies would take +advantage of his mortal weakness to administer their sacraments to him, +and give out that he had returned to the bosom of the church, or at +least to shave his head, that he might be considered as an insane +person, and his renunciation of Romanism as the effect of derangement +of mind. Several plans of escape were projected, all beset with much +difficulty and danger. The one he decided upon proved to be successful. + +On Saturday, the 13th of October, at half-past nine in the evening, he +fastened a cord made of strips of linen to the grate of a window, which +grate did not extend to the top. Having climbed over this, he lowered +himself into a small court-yard. He had now left that part of the +establishment reserved for the insane, and was now in the cloistered +part where the brethren dwelt. But here his fortune failed him. He saw +at a distance a servant of the insane approaching with a light; and +with aching heart and trembling limbs, by a desperate effort, climbed +up again. He returned to his cell, concealing his cord, and laid himself +down to rest. + +On the following Monday, he renewed his efforts to escape. He lowered +himself, as before, into the little court-yard; but being weak in health +and much shaken in his nervous system by all he had suffered in body and +mind, he was seized with palpitation of the heart and trembled all over, +so that he could not walk a step. He laid down to rest and recover his +breath. He felt as if he could get no further. "But," he says in his +affecting narrative, "My dear Saviour to whom I turned in this time of +need, helped me wonderfully. I felt now, more than ever in my life, His +gracious and comforting presence, and believed, in that dismal moment, +with my whole soul, His holy word;" "My grace is sufficient for thee; +for my strength is made perfect in weakness." + +Borzinski now arose, pulled off his boots, and though every step was +made with difficulty, he ascended the stairs leading to the first story. +He went along the passage way until he came to a door leading into +corridors where the cloister brethren lodged. But the trembling fit came +over him again, with indescribable anguish, as he sought to open the +door with a key with which he had been furnished. He soon rallied again, +and, like a spectre, gliding by the doors of the brethren, who occupied +the second and third corridors, many of whom had lights still burning, +he came with his boots in one hand, and his bundle in the other, to +a fourth passage way, in which was an outside window he was trying to +reach. The cord was soon fastened to the window frame, yet still in +bitter apprehension; for this window was seldom opened, and opened +hard, and with some noise. It was also only two steps distant from the +apartment of the cloister physician, where there was a light, and it was +most likely that, on the first grating of the window, he would rush +out and apprehend the fugitive. However the window was opened without +raising any alarm, and now it was necessary to see that no one was +passing below; for though the spot is not very much frequented, yet +the streets cross there, and people approach it from four different +directions. During these critical moments, one person and another kept +passing, and poor Borzinski tarried shivering in the window for near a +quarter of an hour before he ventured to let himself down. While he +was waiting his opportunity he heard the clock strike the third quarter +after nine and knew that he had but fifteen minutes to reach the house +where he was to conceal himself, which would be closed at ten. When all +was still, he called most fervently on the Saviour, and grasping the +cord, slid down into the street. He could scarce believe his feet were +on the ground. Trembling now with joy and gratitude rather than fear, he +ran bareheaded to his place of refuge, where he received a glad welcome. +Having changed his garb, and tarried till three o'clock in the morning, +he took leave of his friends and passing through the gloomy old capital +of Bohemia, he reached the Portzitscher Gate, in order to pass out +as early as possible. Just then a police corporal let in a wagon, and +Borzinski, passed out unchallenged. It is needless to follow him further +in his flight. We have given enough, of his history to prove that +conventual establishments are at this moment what they ever have +been--dangerous alike to liberty and life. AMERICAN AND FOREIGN +CHRISTIAN UNION. + +In place of labored arguments we give the following history of personal +suffering as strikingly illustrative of the spirit of Romanism at the +present day. + + + + +APPENDIX VII + +NARRATIVE OP SIGNORINA FLORIENCIA D' ROMANI, A NATIVE OF THE CITY OF +NAPLES. + +I was born in the year 1826, of noble and wealthy parents. Our mansion +contained a small chapel, with many images, sacred paintings, and a +neatly furnished mass altar. My father was a man of the world. He loved +the society of fashionable men. As he lived on the rents and income +of his estates, he had little to do, except to amuse himself with his +friends. My mother, who was of as mild and sweet disposition, loved my +father very dearly, but was very unhappy the most of the time because +my father spent so much of his time in drinking with his dissolute +companions, card playing, and in balls, parties, theatres, operas, +billiards, &c. Father did not intend to be unkind to my mother, for he +gave her many servants, and abundance of gold, horses, carriages and +grooms, and said frequently in my hearing, that his wife should be as +happy as a princess. Such was the state of society in Italy that men +thought their wives had no just reason to complain, so long as they were +furnished with plenty of food, raiment and shelter. + +One of my father's most intimate friends was the very Rev. Father +Salvator, a Priest of the order of St. Francis; he wore the habit of +the order, his head was about half shaved. The sleeves of his habit were +very large at the elbow; in these sleeves he had small pockets, in which +he usually carried his snuff box, handkerchief, and purse of gold. This +priest was merry, full of fun and frolic; he could dance, sing, play +cards, and tell admirably funny stories, such as would make even the +devils laugh in their chains. + +Such was the influence and power this Franciscan had over my father and +mother, that in our house, his word was law. He was our confessor, knew +the secrets and sins, and all the weak points of every mind in the whole +household. My own dear mother taught me to read before I was seven years +of age. As I was the only child, I was much petted and caressed, indeed, +such was my mother's affection for me that I was seldom a moment out of +her sight. There was a handsome mahogany confessional in our own chapel. +When the priest wanted any member of the household to come to him to +confession, he wrote the name on a slate that hung outside the chapel +door, saying that he would hear confessions at such a time to-morrow. +Thus, we would always have time for the full examination of our +consciences. Only one at a time was ever admitted into the chapel, for +confessional duty, and the priest always took care to lock the door +inside and place the key in his sleeve pocket. My mother and myself were +obliged to confess once a week; the household servants, generally once a +month. My father only once a year, during Lent, when all the inhabitants +of seven years, and upwards, are obliged to kneel down to the priests, +in the confessional, and receive the wafer God under the severest +penalties. Woe to the individual who resists the ecclesiastical mandate. + +When I was about fourteen years of age, I was sent to the Ursuline +Convent, to receive my education. My dear mother would have preferred +a governess or a competent teacher to teach me at home but her will was +but a mere straw in the hands of our confessor and priestly tyrant. It +was solely at the recommendation of the confessor, that I was imprisoned +four years in the Ursuline Convent. As my confessor was also the +confessor of the convent, he called himself my guardian and protector, +and recommended me to the special care of the Mother Abbess, and her +holy nuns, the teachers, who spent much of their time in the school +department. As my father paid a high price, quarterly, for my tuition +and board, I had a good room to myself, my living was of the best kind, +and I always had wine at dinner. The nuns, my teachers, took much more +pains to teach me the fear of the Pope, bishops and confessors, than +the fear of God, or the love of virtue. In fact, with the exception of a +little Latin and embroidery, which I learned in those four years, I came +out as ignorant as I was before, unless a little hypocrisy may be called +a useful accomplishment. For, of all human beings on earth, none can +teach hypocrisy so well as the Romish priests and nuns. In the school +department young ladies seldom have much to complain of, unless they are +charity scholars; in that case the poor girls have to put up with very +poor fare, and much hard work, hard usage and even heavy blows; how my +heart has ached for some of those unfortunate girls, who are treated +more like brutes, than human beings, because they are orphans, and poor. +Yet they in justice are entitled to good treatment, for thousands of +scudi (dollars) are sent as donations to the convents for the support +of these orphans, every year, by benevolent individuals. So that as poor +and unfortunate as these girls are, they are a source of revenue to the +convents. + +For the first three years of my convent life, I passed the time in +the school department, without much anxiety of mind. I was gay and +thoughtless, my great trouble was to find something to amuse myself, +and kill time in some way. Though I treated all the school-mates with +kindness, and true Italian politeness, I became intimate with only one. +She was a beautiful girl, from the dukedom of Tuscany. She made me her +confidant, and told me all her heart. Her parents were wealthy, and both +very strict members of the Romish Church. But she had an aunt in the +city of Geneva, who was a follower of John Calvin, or a member of the +Christian church of Switzerland. This aunt had been yearly a visitor at +her father's house. She being her father's only sister, an affectionate +intimacy was formed between the aunt and niece. The aunt, being a very +pious, amiable woman, felt it her duty to impress the mind of the niece, +with the superiority of the religion of the holy bible over popish +traditions; and the truth of the Scriptures soon found its way to the +heart of my young friend. But her confessor soon found out that some +change was going on in her mind, and told her father. There were +only two ways to save her soul from utter ruin; one was to give her +absolution and kill her before she got entirely out of the holy mother +church; the other, was to send her to the Ursuline convent at Naples, +where by the zeal and piety of those celebrated nuns, she might be +secured from further heresy. + +From this, the best friend of my school days, I learned more about God's +word, and virtue, and truth, and the value of the soul, than from all +other sources. There was a garden surrounded by a high wall, in which we +frequently walked, and whispered to each other, though we trembled all +the while for fear our confessor would by some means, find out that we +looked upon the Romish church as the Babylon destined to destruction, +plainly spoken of by St. John the revelator. + +My young friend stood in great fear of the priests; she trembled at the +very sight of one. + +Her aunt had read to her the history and sufferings of the persecuted +Protestants of Europe. She was a frail, and timid girl, yet such was the +depth of her piety and the fervor of her religious faith, that she often +declared to me that she would prefer death to the abandonment of those +heavenly principles she had embraced, which were the source of her +joy and hope. Her aunt gave her a pocket New Testament, in the Italian +language, which she prized above all the treasures of earth, and carried +with her carefully, wherever she went. I borrowed it and read it every +opportunity I had. Several chapters I learned by heart. I took much +pains to commit to memory all I could of the blessed book, for in +case of our separation, I knew not where I could obtain another. My +god-father who was a bishop, called to see me on my fifteenth birth day, +and presented me with a splendid gold watch and chain richly studded +with jewels, made in England, and valued at 200 scudi, saying that +he had it imported expressly for my use. I had also several diamond +articles of jewelry, presents I had received from my father from time to +time. I had also, in my purse, 100 scudi in gold, which I had saved from +my pin money. All the above property, I should have cheerfully given for +a copy of the Holy Bible, in my own beautiful Italian language. A few +months after I received the rich present from the Bishop, he called with +my father and my confessor to see me. My heart almost came into my mouth +when I saw them alight from my father's carriage, and enter the chapel +door of the convent. Very soon the lady porter came to me and said, +"Signorina, you are wanted in the parlor." + +As my Tuscan friend had taught me to pray, and ask the Lord Jesus for +grace and strength, I walked into my room, locked the door, and on my +knees, called upon the Lord to save me from becoming a nun--for I +knew then it was a determination on the part of the Abbess, bishop +and confessor, that I should take the veil. I was the only child, and +heiress of an immense fortune, of course, too good a prize to be lost. +After a short and fervent prayer to my Lord and Saviour, I walked down +to see what was to be my doom. I kissed my father's cheek, and kissed +the hands of the Bishop and confessor--yet my very soul revolted +from the touch of these whited sepulchres. All received me with great +cordiality, yea, even more than usual affection. Soon after our meeting, +my father asked permission of the Bishop to speak to me privately and +taking me into a small room, said to me, "My dear daughter, you are not +aware of the great misfortune that has recently come upon your father. +While I was excited with wine at the card-table last evening, betting +high and winning vast sums of money, I so far forgot myself and my duty +to the laws of the country, that I called for a toast, and induced +a number of my inebriated companions to drink the health of Italian +liberty, and we all drank and gave three cheers for liberty and a +liberal constitution. A Benedictine Friar being present, took all our +names to the Commissary General, and offered to be a witness against +us in the King's Court. As this is my first and only offence, the holy +Bishop your god-father offers on certain conditions, to visit Rome +immediately on my behalf, and secure the mediation of the holy Father +Pius IX. Your venerable god-father has great influence at Rome, being +a special favorite with his holiness, and his holiness can obtain any +favor he asks of King Ferdinand. So if you will only consent to take the +Black Veil, your father will be saved from the State prison." + +This was terrible news to my young and palpitating heart. It was the +first heavy blow that I had experienced in this vale of tears. I did not +speak for some minutes; I could not. My trembling bosom heaved like the +waves of the ocean before the blast. My veins were almost bursting; my +hands and feet became as cold as marble, and when I attempted to speak +my words seemed ready to choke me to death. I thought my last hour had +come. I fell upon my knees and called upon God for mercy and help. My +father, thinking I had gone mad, was greatly alarmed. The Bishop +and confessor, who were anxiously waiting the result of my father's +proposition, hearing my father weep and sob aloud, came in to see what +the matter was. In the midst of my prayer, I fainted away, and became +entirely unconscious. When I came to myself, I found myself on the bed. +As I opened my eyes, it all seemed like a dream. The abbess spoke to me +very kindly, and sprinkled my bed with holy water, and at the same time +laid a large bronze crucifix on my breast, saying that Satan must be +driven from my soul, for had it not been for the devil, I would have +leaped for joy, and not fainted when father mentioned the black veil. +"No," said the holy mother, "had it not been for the devil you would +rejoice to take the holy black veil blessed by the Holy Madonna and the +blessed saints Clara and Theresa. It is a holy privilege that very few +can enjoy on earth. Yea, my daughter, there can not be a greater sin +in the sight of the Madonna and the blessed saints, than to reject a +secluded life. Yea," said the crafty old nun, (who was thinking much +more about my gold, than my soul,) "I never knew a young lady who had +the offer of becoming a nun and rejected it, who ever came to a good +end. If they refuse, and marry, they generally die in child-bed with the +first child, or they will marry cruel husbands, who beat them and kill +them by inches. Therefore, dear daughter, let me most affectionately +warn you as you have had the honor of being selected by the holy Bishop +and our holy confessor to the high dignity and privilege of a professed +nun, of the order of St. Ursula, reject it not at your peril. Be +assured, heaven knows how to punish such rebellion." + +My head ached so violently at the time, and I was so feverish that I +begged the old woman to send for my mother, and to talk to me no more on +the subject of the black veil, but to drop it until some future time. In +my agony on account of the foul plot against my liberty, my virtue, and +my gold, I felt such a passion of rage come upon me, that had I absolute +power for the moment I would have cast every Abbess, Pope, Bishop and +Priest into the bottomless pit. May the Lord forgive me, but I would +have done it at that time with a good will. The greatest comfort I now +had was reading my Tuscan friend's New Testament, or hearing it read by +her when we had a chance to be by ourselves, which was not very often. +In the evening of the same day of my illness, father and mother came to +see me, and Satan came also in the shape of the confessor; so that I +had not a moment alone with my dear parents. The confessor feared my +determined opposition to a convent's life, for he had previous to this, +several times in the confessional, dropped hints to me on the great +happiness, purity, serenity and joy of all holy nuns. But I always told +him I would not be a nun for the world. I should be so good, it would +kill me in a short time. "No, no, father," said I, "I WILL NOT BE A +NUN." + +Father spoke to me again of his great misfortune--told me that his trial +would come on in a few days and that he was now at liberty on a +very heavy bail; that the Bishop was only waiting my answer to start +immediately for the holy city, and throw himself at the feet of the holy +Pope to procure father's unconditional pardon from the King. I said +"my dear father, how long will you be imprisoned if you do not get a +pardon?" "From two to five years," he replied. "My daughter, it is +my first offence, and I have witnesses to prove that the priest who +appeared against me, urged me to drink wine several times after I had +drank a large quantity, and was the direct cause of my saying what +I did." Now it all came to me, that the whole of it was a plot, a +Jesuitical trick, to get my father in the clutches of the law, and then +make a slave of me for life through my sympathy for my dear father. + +The vile priests knew that I loved my father most ardently; in fact, my +father and mother were the only two beings on earth that I did love. My +mother I loved most tenderly, but my affection for my father was of a +different kind. I loved him most violently, with all the ardor of my +soul. Mother seemed all the home to me; but father was to me all the +world beside. My father was all the brother I had. He would frequently +come home, and get me to go out into the garden and play with him, +just as though he was my brother. There we would swing, run, jump and +exercise in several healthy games, common in our climate. He never gave +me an unkind word or an unkind reproof. If I did say anything wrong, he +would take me to my mother and say, "Clara, here I bring you a prisoner, +let her be kept on bread and water till dinner time." Even when mother +had displeased him about some trifle, so that he had not a smile for +her, he always had a smile for his Flora. Even now, while I write, a +chill comes over my frame, while I think of that vile Popish plot. I +said to my father, "You shall not be imprisoned if I can prevent it; at +the same time I do not see any great gain, comfort or profit in having +your only daughter put in prison for life, without the hope of liberty +ever more, to save you from two years imprisonment." + +At these words, the eyes of the confessor flashed like lurid lightnings; +his very frame shook, as though he had the fever and ague. Truth seemed +so strange to the priest, that he found it hard of digestion. Father +and mother both wept, but made no reply. The idea of putting their only +child in a dungeon for life, though it might be done in the sacred name +of religion, did not seem to give them much comfort "Father," said I, "I +wish to see you at ten o'clock to-morrow morning, without fail--I wish +to see you alone; don't bring mother or any one else with you. You shall +not go to prison, all will yet be well." On account of this reasonable +request, to see my father alone, the confessor arose in a terrible rage +and left the apartment As quick as the mad priest left us to ourselves, +I told my father my plan, or what I would like to do with his +permission. My plan was, for my mother and myself to get into our +carriage and drive to the palace of King Ferdinand and make him +acquainted with all the truth; for I was aware from what I had heard, +that the King had heard only the priest's side of the story. My father +stood in such fear of the priests that he only consented to my plan with +great reluctance, saying that we ought first to make our plan known to +the confessor, lest he should be offended. To this my mother responded, +saying, "My daughter, it would be very wrong for us to go to the King, +or take any step without the advice of our spiritual guide." Here, +I felt it to be my duty to reveal to my deceived parents some of the +secrets of the confessional, though I might, in their estimation, +be guilty of an unpardonable sin by breaking the seal of iniquity. I +revealed to my parents the frequent efforts of the priest to obtain my +consent to take the veil, and that I had opposed from first to last, +every argument made use of to rob me of the society of my parents, of my +liberty, and of everything I held dear on earth. As to the happiness of +the nuns so much talked of by the priests, from what I had seen in their +daily walk and general deportment, I was fully convinced that there was +no reality in it; they were mere slaves to their superiors, and not half +so happy as the free slaves on a plantation who have a kind master. My +parents saw my determination to resist to the death every plan for my +imprisonment in the hateful nunnery. Therefore they promised that I +should have the opportunity to see the King on the morrow in company +with my mother. + +On the following day, at twelve o'clock, we left the convent in our +carriage for the palace. We were very politely received by the gentleman +usher, who conducted us to seats in the reception-room. After sending +our cards to the king, we waited nearly one hour before he made his +appearance. His majesty received us with much kindness, raised us +immediately from our knees, and demanded our business. I was greatly +embarrassed at first, but the frank and cordial manner of the sovereign +soon restored me to my equilibrium, and I spoke freely in behalf of my +dear father. The king heard me through very patiently, with apparent +interest, and said, "Signorina, I am inclined to believe you have spoken +the truth; and as your father has always been a good loyal subject, I +shall, for your sake, forgive him this offence; but let him beware that +henceforth, wine or no wine, he does not trespass against the laws +of the kingdom, for a second offence I will not pardon. Go in peace, +signoras, you have my royal word." + +We thanked his majesty, and returned to our home with the joyful +tidings. O, how brief was our joy! My father, who had been waiting the +result of our visit to the palace with great impatience, received us +with open arms, and pressed us to his heart again and again. + +I was so excited that, long before we got to him, I cried out, "All is +well, all is well, father. A pardon from the king! Joy, joy!" We drove +home, and father went immediately to spread the happy news amongst +his friends. All our faithful domestics, including my old affectionate +nurse, were so overjoyed at the news that they danced about like +maniacs. My father was always a very indulgent and liberal master, +furnished his servants with the best of Italian fare, plenty of +fresh beef, wine, and macaroni. We had scarcely got rested, when our +tormenter, the confessor, came into our room and said, "Signoras, what +is the meaning of all this fandango and folly amongst the servants? ARE +THE HERETICS ALL KILLED, that there should be such joy, or has the queen +been delivered of a son, an heir to the throne?" + +My dear mother was now as pale as death, and silent, for she saw that +the priest was awfully enraged; for, although he feigned to smile, his +smile was similar to that of the hyena when digging his prey out of +the grave. The priest's dark and villainous visage had the effect of +confirming in my mother's mind all the truth regarding the plot to +enslave me for life, and secure all my father's estate to the pockets +of the priests. The confessor was now terribly mad, for two obvious +reasons: one was because he was not received by us with our usual +cordiality and blind affection; the other, because, by the king's +pardon, I was not under the necessity to sacrifice my liberty and +happiness for life to save my father from prison; and what tormented him +the most was, that he believed that I, though young, could understand +and thwart his hellish plans. As my mother trembled and was silent, +fearing the priest was cursing her and her only daughter in his +heart,--for the priests tell such awful stories about the effects of a +priest's curse that the great mass of the Italian people fear it more +than the plague or any earthly misfortune. + +The popish priests declare that St. Peter is the doorkeeper of the great +city of God, the heavenly Jerusalem, that he has the keys of the kingdom +of heaven, and has received strict orders not to admit any soul, under +any circumstances, who has been cursed by a holy priest, unless that +curse has been removed by the same priest in the tribunal of penance. I +was obliged to speak to his reverence, and I felt so free, so happy in +Christ as my only hope, that I opened my mind to the priest very freely, +and told him what I thought of him and his plot. "Sir priest," said I, +"I shall never return to the convent to stay long. As soon as the time +for my education ends, I shall return to liberty and domestic life. I +am not made of the proper material to make a nun of. I love the social +domestic circle; I love my father and mother, and all our domestics, +even the dogs and the cats, pigeons, and canaries, the fish-ponds, +play-grounds, gardens, rivers, and landscapes, mountain and ocean,--all +the works of God I love. I shall live out of the convent to enjoy these +things; therefore, reverend sir, if you value my peace and good-will, +never speak to me or my parents on the subject of my becoming a nun in +any convent. I shall prefer death to the loss of my personal liberty." + +I was so decided, and had received such strength and grace from heaven, +that the priest was dumbfounded,--my smooth stone out of the sling +had hit him in the right place. After much effort to appear bland and +good-natured, he drew near my chair, seized my hand, and said, "My dear +daughter, you mistake me. I love you as a daughter, I wish only your +happiness. Your god-father, the holy Bishop, does not intend that you +shall remain a common nun more than a year. After the first year you +shall be raised to the highest dignity in the convent. You shall be the +Lady Superior, and all the nuns shall bow at your feet, and implicitly +obey your commands. + +"The Lady Superior of St. Clara is now very old, and his lordship wishes +soon to fill her place. For that purpose he has selected his adopted +daughter. Your talents, education, wealth, and high position in society, +eminently fit you for one of the highest dignities on earth." + +"A thousand thanks for the kindness of my lord Bishop," said I; "but +your reverence has not altered my mind in the least. I can never bow +down to the feet of any Lady Superior, neither will I ever consent to +see a single human being degraded at my feet. The holy Bible says, 'Thou +shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.'" "Bible, +my daughter!" exclaimed the priest, "Where did you see that dangerous +book? Know you not that his holiness the Pope has placed it in the +Index Expurgatorius, because it has been the means of the damnation of +millions of souls? Not because it is in itself a bad book, but because +it is a theological work, prepared only for the priests and ministers of +our holy religion. Therefore, it is always a very dangerous book in +the hands of women or laymen, who wrest the Scriptures to their own +destruction." + +"Well, reverend sir," I replied, "you seem determined to differ from the +Lord Jesus and his apostles. I read in the New Testament that we should +search the Scriptures because they testify of Christ. And one of the +apostles, I don't remember which, said, 'all scripture is given by the +inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine and for instruction +in righteousness.' Now, reverend sir, if the people have souls, as well +as the priests, why should they not read the word of God which speaks of +Christ and is profitable for instruction?" + +"You are almost a heretic!" exclaimed the priest, "and you talk very +much like one." His countenance changed to a pale sickly hue, as he +said, "My daughter, where did you get that dangerous book? If you have, +it in your possession, give it to me, and I will bless you, and pray for +you to the blessed Madonna that she may save you from the infernal pit +of heresy." + +"I do not own the blessed book," said I, "but I wish I did. I would give +one hundred scudi in gold for a copy of the New Testament. I borrowed a +copy from a friend, and returned it to the owner again. But I understand +that there are copies to be had in London, and when I have a good +opportunity I shall send for a copy, if I can do it unbeknown to any +one." + +"Enough, enough!" exclaimed the priest. "I shall be in the tribunal of +penance at six o'clock P.M.; there I shall expect to meet you. You need +pardon immediately, and spiritual advice. Should you die as you now are +without absolution, you would be lost and damned forever. I tremble for +you, my dear daughter, seeing that the devil has got such a powerful +hold of you. It may even be absolutely necessary to kill the body to +save your soul; for should you relapse again into heresy after due +penance for this crime has been performed, it would be impossible to +renew you again to repentance, seeing you crucify the Lord and the +Madonna afresh, and put them to an open shame." + +Here my mother fainted and shook like an aspen leaf. But God gave me +strength, and I said in a moment that as his reverence thought my sins +so great, I would not go to any man, no, not even to the Pope; I +would go to God alone, and leave my cause in his hands, life or death. +"Therefore, reverend sir, I shall save you from all further trouble in +attending the confessional any more on my account. From henceforth no +earthly power shall drag me alive and with my consent to the tribunal of +penance." + +"Woman!" exclaimed the priest furiously, "are you mad? There are ten +thousand devils in you, and we must drive them out by some means." After +this discharge of priestly venom, the priest left in a rage giving the +door a terrible slam, which awoke my mother from her sorrowful trance. +During the whole conversation, such was the electrical power of the +priest over my mother's weak and nervous system, that if she attempted +to say a word in my behalf, the keen, snakish black eye of the priest +would at once make her tremble and quail before him, and the half +uttered word would remain silent on her lips. The priest went at once +in search of my father. He came home boiling over with rage, saying he +wished I had never been born. He cursed the day of my birth. The +cause of all this paternal fury upon my poor devoted head was the foul +misrepresentations of my father confessor, who was now in league with +the Bishop, both determined to shut me up in a prison convent, or end my +mortal career. + +My poor mother remained mute and heart-broken. My sweet mother; never +did she utter one word of unkindness to me; her very look to the last +was one of gentleness and love. But my father loved honor and reputation +amongst men above all other things. The idea of being the father of an +accursed heretic, tormented his pride, and he being suspected of heresy +himself caused him to be forsaken by many of his proud friends and +acquaintances. He was even insulted in the streets by the numerous +Lazaroni, with the epithet of Maldito Corrobonari, so that I lost my +father's love. And when the confessor told him there was no other way +to save me from hell than an entire life of penance in a convent, he +heartily and freely gave his consent. Mother, my own sweet mother, my +only remaining friend, turned as pale as death, but was enabled to say a +word in my behalf. + +I saw that my earthly doom was sealed; there was not a single voice in +all Naples to save me from imprisonment for life. Not a tongue in four +hundred thousand that would dare speak one word in my behalf. Father +commanded me to get ready to leave his house forever that very night, +saying the carriage and confessor would be on hand to take me away at +eight o'clock P.M., by moonlight. I got on my knees and begged my father +as a last request that he would allow me to remain three days with my +mother, but he refused. Said he, "That is now beyond my power. Not an +hour can you remain after eight o'clock." + +As I knew not when I should see my Tuscan friend again, I begged the +privilege of seeing her for a few moments. I was anxious to ask her +prayers and sympathy, and to put her on her guard, for should the +priests discover her New Testament, they would punish her as they did +me, or as they intended to do to me. But this favor was denied me, and I +could not write to her, for all letters of the scholars in the +convents, are opened under the pretence to prevent them from receiving +love-letters. The Romish church keeps all her dark plans a secret, but +never allows any secret to be kept from the priests. + +I went into my room to bid farewell to my home forever. I fell on my +knees and prayed to God for his dear Son's sake to help me, to give me +patience, and to keep me from the sin of suicide. The more I thought +of my utterly unprotected situation and of the savage disposition of my +foes, the priests, the more I thought of the propriety of taking my own +life, rather than live in a dungeon all my days. Such was the power of +superstition over our domestics that they looked upon me as one accursed +of the church, a Protestant heretic, and not one of them would take my +hand or bid me good bye. At tea-time I was not allowed to sit at table +with father, mother, and the confessor, as formerly. But I had my supper +sent up to my room. + +A short time after the bell rang for vespers, the carriage being ready, +my father and the confessor with myself and one small trunk got into the +best seats inside, and rode off at a rapid rate. I kept my veil over my +face, and said not a word neither did I shed a single tear; my sorrow, +and indignation was too deep for utterance or even for tears. The priest +and my father uttered not a word. Perhaps my father's conscience +made him ashamed of such vile work--that of laying violent hands on a +defenceless girl of eighteen years of age, for no crime whatever, only +the love of liberty and pure Bible religion. But if the priest was +silent, his vile countenance indicated a degree of hellish pleasure and +satisfaction. Never did piratical captain glory more in seeing a rich +prize along side with all hands killed and out of the way, than my +reverend confessor; yet a short time before he said he loved me as a +daughter. Yes, he did love me, as the wolf loves the lamb, as the cat +loves the mouse and as the boa constrictor the beautiful gazelle. To +my momentary satisfaction we entered the big gate of St. Ursula, for +although I knew I should suffer there perhaps even death, there was some +satisfaction in seeing a few faces that I had seen in my gay and happy +days, now alas! forever gone by! I was somewhat grieved by the cold +reception I received. All seemed to look upon me with horror. But none +of these things moved me; I looked to God for strength, for I felt that +He alone could nerve me for the conflict. The hardest blow of all was, +my dear father left me at the mercy of the priest without one kind look +or word. He did not even shake hands with me, nor did he say farewell. + +Oh Popery, what a mysterious power is thine! Thou canst in a few hours +destroy powerful love which it took long years to cement in loving +hearts. When my father had left and I heard the porter lock the heavy +iron gate I felt an exquisite wretchedness come over me. I would have +given worlds for death at that moment. In a few moments the priest rung +a bell, and the old Jezebel the mother Abbess made her appearance. "Take +this heretic, Holy Mother, and place her in confinement in the lower +regions; GIVE HER BREAD AND WATER ONCE IN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS, THE WATER +THAT YOU HAVE WASHED YOUR SACRED FEET IN, NO OTHER; give her straw +to sleep on, but no pillow. Take all her clothing away and give her a +coarse tunic; one single coarse garment to cover her nakedness, but no +shoes. She has grievously sinned against the holy mother church, and now +she mercifully imposes upon her years of severe penance, that her body +of sin may be destroyed and her soul saved after suffering one million +of years in holy purgatory. Our chief duty now, holy mother, in order +to save this lost soul from mortal sin will be to examine her carefully +every, day to ascertain if possible what she most dislikes, or what +is most revolting to her flesh, that whatever it may be, she, must be +compelled to perform it whatever it may cost. Let a holy wax candle burn +in her cell at night, until further orders. And let the Tuscan heretic +be treated in the same way. They are both guilty of the same crimes." At +the word "Tuscan heretic," possessing the spirit of Christ that I knew +on earth. Yet how true it is that misery loves company; there was even +satisfaction in being near my unfortunate friend though our sufferings +might be unutterable. Still I was unhappy in the thought that she was +suffering on my account. Had I never said a word about borrowing a New +Testament, she would never have been suspected as being the direct +cause of my conversion to the truth, and of my renunciation of the vile +confessional. + +I was somewhat puzzled to know what kind of a place was meant by the +lower regions; I had never heard of these regions before. But soon two +women in black habits with their faces entirely covered excepting +two small holes for the eyes to peep through, came to me and without +speaking, made signs for me to follow them. I did so without resistance, +and soon found myself in an under-ground story of the infernal building. +"There is your cell," said the cowled inquisitors, "look all around, see +every thing, but speak not; no not for your life. The softest whisper +will immediately reach the ears of the Mother Abbess, and then you are +loaded with heavy chains until you die, for there must be no talking +or whispering in this holy retreat of penance. And," said my jailor +further, "take off your clothes, shoes and stockings, and put on this +holy coarse garment which will chafe thy flesh but will bless thy soul. +Holy St. Francis saved many souls by this holy garment." + +As resistance was worse than useless, I complied, and soon found my poor +feet aching with the cold on the bare stone floor. I was soon made to +feel the blessing of St. Francis with a vengeance. My sufferings were +indescribable. It seemed as though ten thousand bees had stung me in +every part. I never closed my eyes for several nights. I laid on my +coarse straw and groaned and sighed for death to come and relieve me of +my anguish. As soon as the holy wax candle was left with me I took it +in my hand and went forth to survey my dungeon; but I did not enjoy +my ramble. In one of the cells, I found my Tuscan friend--that dear +Christian sister--in great agony, having had on the accursed garment for +several days. Her body was one entire blister, and very much inflamed. +Her bones were racked with pain, as with the most excruciating +inflammatory rheumatism. We recognized each other; she pointed to heaven +as if to say 'trust in the Lord, my sister, our sufferings will soon +be over.' I kissed my hand to her and returned again to my cell. I +saw other victims half dead and emaciated that made my heart sick. I +refrained from speaking to any one for I feared my condition, wretched +as it was, might be rendered even worse, if possible by the fiends who +had entire power over me. "O my God!" said I to myself, "why was I born? +O give my soul patience to suffer every pain." + +On the fourth day of my imprisonment the jailor brought me some water +and soap, a towel, brush and comb, and the same clothes I wore when I +entered the foul den. They told me to make haste and prepare myself to +appear before the holy Bishop. Hope revived in my soul, for I always +thought that my god-father had some regard for me, and had now come to +release me from the foul den I was in. Cold water seemed to afford much +relief to my tortured body. I made my toilet as quick as I could in such +a place. My feet were so numb and swollen that it was difficult for me +to get my shoes on. At last the Bishop arrived as I supposed, and I +was conducted--not into his presence as I expected, but into that of +my bitterest enemy, the confessor. At the very sight of the monster, I +trembled like a reed shaken by the wind. The priest walked to each of +the doors, locked them, put the keys into a small writing desk, locked +it, took out the key and placed it carefully in his sleeve pocket. This +he did to assure me that we were alone, that not one of the inmates +could by any means disturb for the present the holy meditations of the +priest. He bade me take a seat on the sofa by him. In kind soft words he +said to me, that if I was only docile and obedient, he would cause me +to be treated like a princess, and that in a short time I should have +my liberty if I preferred to return to the world. At the same time he +attempted to put his arm around my waist. In a moment I was on my feet. +While he was talking love to me, I was looking at two large alabaster +vases full of beautiful wax flowers; one of them was as much as I could +lift. Without one thought about consequences, I seized the nearest vase +and threw it with all the strength I had at the priest's head. He fell +like a log and uttered one or two groans. The vase was broken. It +struck the priest on the right temple, close to the ear. For a moment I +listened to see if any one were coming. I then looked at the priest, and +saw the blood running out of his wound. I quaked with fear lest I had +killed the destroyer of my peace. I did not intend to kill him, I only +wished to stun him, that I might take the keys, open the door and run, +for the back door of the priest's room led right into a back path where +the gates were frequently opened daring the day time. This was about +twelve o'clock, and a most favorable moment for me to escape. In a +moment I had searched the sleeve pocket of the priest, found the key and +a heavy purse of gold which I secured in my dress pocket. I opened the +little writing desk and took out the key to the back door. I saw that +the priest was not dead, and I had not the least doubt from appearances, +but that he would soon come to. I trembled for fear he might wake before +I could get away. I thought of my dear Tuscan sister in her wretched +cell, but I could not get to her without being discovered. There was no +time to be lost. I opened the door with the greatest facility and gained +the opening into the back path. I locked the door after me, and brought +the key with me for a short distance, then placed all the keys tinder +a rock. I had no hat but only a black veil. I threw that over my head +after the fashion of Italy and gained the outer gate. There were masons +at work near the gate which was open and I passed through into the +street without being questioned by any one. + +As I had not a nun's dress on, no one supposed I belonged to the +Institution. I walked down directly to the sea coast. I could speak a +few English words which I had learned from some English friends of my +father. Before I got to where the boats lay I saw a gentleman whom I +took to be an English or American gentleman. He had a pleasant face, +looked at me very kindly, saw my pale dejected face and at once felt a +deep sympathy for me. As I appeared to be in trouble and needed help, +he extended his hand to me and said in tolerable good Italian, "Como va' +le' signorina?" that is "How do you do young lady?" I asked him what +was his country. "Me," said he, "Americano, Americano, capitano de +Bastimento." (American captain of a ship.) "Signor Capitano," said I, +"I wish to go on board your ship and see an American ship." "Well," said +he, "with a great deal of pleasure; my ship lies at anchor, my men are +waiting; you shall dine with me, Signorina." + +I praised God in my soul for this merciful providence of meeting a +friend, though a stranger, whose face seemed to me so honest and so +true. Any condition, even honest slavery, would have been preferred by +me at that time to a convent. The American ship was the most +beautiful thing I ever saw afloat; splendid and neat in all her cabin +arrangements. The mates were polite, and the sailors appeared neat and +happy. Even the black cook showed his beautiful white teeth, as though +he was glad to see one of the ladies of Italy. Poor fellows! Little did +they know at that time what peril I was in should I be found out and +taken back to my dungeon again. I informed the captain of my situation, +of having just escaped from a convent into which I had been forced +against my will. I told him I would pay him my passage to America, if +he would hide me somewhere until the ship was well out to sea. He said +I had come just in time, for he was only waiting for a fair wind, and +hoped to be off that evening. "I have," said he, "a large number of +bread-casks on board, and two are empty. I shall have you put into one +of these, in which I shall make augur-holes, so that you can have plenty +of fresh air. Down in the hold amongst the provisions you will be safe." +I thanked my kind friend and requested him to buy me some needles, silk, +and cotton thread, and some stuff for a couple of dresses, and one-piece +of fine cotton, so that I might make myself comfortable during the +voyage. + +After I ate my dinner, the men called the captain and said there were +several boats full of soldiers coming to the ship, accompanied by the +priests. "Lady," exclaimed the captain, "they are after you. There is +not a moment to be lost. Follow me," he continued. "And, Mr. Smith, tell +the men to be careful and not make known that there is a lady on board." + +An awful cold chill ran over me. I followed my friend quickly, and soon +found myself coiled in a large cask. The captain coopered the head, +which was missing, and made holes for me to get the air; but the +perspiration ran off my face in a stream. Lots of things were piled on +the cask, so that I had hard work to breathe; but such was my fear +of the priests that I would rather have perished in the cask than be +returned to die by inches. + +The captain had been gone but a short time when I heard steps on deck, +and much noise and confusion. As the hatches were open, I could hear +very distinctly. After the whole company were on deck, the captain +invited the priests and friars, about twenty in number, to walk down to +the cabin, and explain the cause of their visit. They talked through an +interpreter, and said that "a woman of bad character had robbed one of +the churches of a large amount of gold, had attempted to murder one +of the holy priests, but they were happy to say that the holy father, +though badly wounded, was in a fair way of recovery. This woman is +young, but very desperate, has awful raving fits, and has recently +escaped from a lunatic institution. When her fits of madness come on +they are obliged to put her into a straight jacket, for she is the most +dangerous person in Italy. A great reward is offered for her by her +father and the government--five thousand scudi. Is not this enough to +tempt one to help find her? She was seen coming towards the shipping, +and we want the privilege of searching your ship." + +"Gentlemen," said the captain, "I do not know that the Italian +authorities have any right to search an American ship, under the stars +and stripes of the United States, for we do not allow even the greatest +naval power on earth to do that thing. But if such a mad and dangerous +woman as you have described should by any means have smuggled herself +on board my ship, you are quite welcome to take her away as soon as +possible, for I should be afraid of my life if I was within one hundred +yards of such an unfortunate creature. If you can get her into your +lunatic asylum, the quicker the better; and the five thousand scudi will +come in good time, for I am thinking of building me a larger ship on my +return home. Now, gentlemen, come; I will assist you, for I should like +to see the gold in my pocket." The captain opened all his closets and +secret places, in the cabin and forecastle and in the hold; everything +was searched, all but the identical bread-cask in which I was snugly +coiled. + +After something like half an hour's search, the soldiers of King +Ferdinand and the priests of King Pope left the ship, satisfied that the +crazy nun was not on board; for, judging the captain by themselves, they +thought he certainly would have given up a mad woman for the sake of +five thousand scudi in gold, and for the safety of his own peace and +comfort. A few moments after the Pope's friends had left, the excellent +benevolent captain came down, and speedily and gently knocking off a +few hoops with a hammer, took the head out, and I was free once more +to breathe God's free air. I lifted my trembling heart in thanksgiving, +while tears of gratitude rolled down my cheeks. Yet, as we were still +within the reach of the guns of the papal forts, my heart was by no +means at rest. But the good captain assured me repeatedly that +all danger was past, for he had twenty-five men on board, all true +Protestants, and he declared that all the priests of Naples would walk +over their dead bodies before they should reach his vessel a second +time. "And besides," said the captain, "there are two American +men-of-war in port, who will stand up for the rights of Americans. They +have not yet forgotten Captain Ingraham, of the United States ship +St. Louis, and his rescue from the Austrian papists of the Hungarian +patriot, Martin Kozsta." The captain wisely refused to purchase any +needles or thread for me on shore, or any articles of ladies' dress, +for fear of the Jesuitical spies, who might surmise something and cause +further trouble. But he kindly furnished me with some goods he had +purchased for his own wife, and there were needles and silk enough on +board, so that I soon cut and made a few articles that made me very +comfortable during our voyage of thirty-two days to London. + +Early the next morning we sailed out of the beautiful harbor of Naples, +with a fair wind. The beautiful ship seemed to fly over the blue sea. +I staid on deck gazing at my native city as long as I could. I thought +then of my once happy home, of my poor, broken-hearted mother, of my +unhappy father. Although he had cast me off through the foul play of +Jesuitical intrigue, my love for my dear father remained the same. +"Farewell, my dear Italy," I said to myself. "When, my poor native land, +wilt thou be happy? Never, never, so long as the Pope lives, and his +wicked, murderous priests, to curse thee by their power." + +After we got out into the open sea, the motion of the ship made me feel +very sick, and I was so starved out before I came on board, that what +good provisions I ate on board did not seem to agree with me. My stomach +was in a very bad state, for while I was in the lower regions of the +convent I ate only a small quantity of very stale hard bread once in +twenty-four hours, at the ringing of the vesper bells every evening, and +the water given me was that in which the holy Mother Abbess had washed +her sacred feet. But I must give the holy mother credit for one good +omission--she did not use any soap. + +The captain gave me a good state-room which I occupied with an English +lady passenger. This good lady was accustomed to the sea, therefore, she +did not suffer any inconvenience from sea-sickness; but I was very sick, +so that I kept my berth for five days. This good Protestant lady was +very kind and attentive during the whole passage, and kindly assisted me +in getting my garments made up on board. On our arrival in London, the +captain said that he would sail for America in two weeks time, and very +kindly offered me a free passage to his happy, native land; and I could +not persuade him to take any money for my passage from Naples, nor for +the clothing he had given me. + +My fellow passenger being wealthy, and well acquainted with people in +England, took me to her splendid home, a few miles from London. At her +residence I was introduced to a young French gentleman, a member of the +Evangelical protestant church in France, and a descendant of the pious +persecuted Huguenots. This gentleman speaks good English and Italian, +having enjoyed the privilege of a superior education. His fervent +prayers at the family altar morning and evening made a very deep +impression on my mind. He became deeply interested in my history, and +offered to take me to France, after I should become his lawful wife. + +Though I did not like the idea of choosing another popish country for my +residence, yet as my friend assured me that I should enjoy my protestant +religion unmolested, I gave him my hand and my heart. My lady fellow +passenger was my bridesmaid. We were married by a good protestant +minister. My husband is a wealthy merchant--gives me means and +opportunities for doing good. Home is precious in a foreign land. Our +home is one of piety and peace and happiness. The blessed Bible is read +by us every day. Morning and evening we sing God's praise, and call upon +the name of the Lord. Our prayer is that God may deliver beloved France +and Italy from the curse of popery. + +Another proof of the persecuting spirit of Rome is furnished by the +"Narrative of Raffaele Ciocci, formerly a Benedictine Monk, but who now +'comes forth from Inquisitorial search and torture, and tells us what +he has seen, heard and felt.'" We can make but a few extracts from +this interesting little volume, published by the American and Foreign +Christian Union, who,--to use their own language--"send it forth as a +voice of instruction and warning to the American people. Let the facts +be heard and read. They are not to be set aside by an apology for the +dark ages, nor an appeal to the refinement of the nineteenth century. +Here is Rome, not as she WAS in the midnight of the world, but as she +IS at the present moment. There is the same opposition to private +judgment--the same coercive measures--the same cruel persecution--the +same efforts to crush the civil and religious liberties of her own +subjects, for which she has ever been characterized." + +Ciocci, compelled at an early age to enter the Catholic College--forced, +notwithstanding his deep disgust and earnest remonstrance, to become a +monk--imprisoned--deceived--the victim of priestly artifice and fraud, +at length becomes a Christian. He is of course thrown into a deeper +dungeon; and more exquisite anguish inflicted upon him that he may be +constrained to return to the Romish faith. Of his imprisonment he says, +"We traversed long corridors till we arrived at the door of an apartment +which they requested me to enter, and they themselves retired. On +opening the door I found myself in a close dark room, barely large +enough for the little furniture it contained, which consisted of a small +hard bed, hard as the conscience of an inquisitor, a little table cut +all over, and a dirty ill-used chair. The window which was shut and +barred with iron resisted all my efforts to open it My heart sunk within +me, and I began to cogitate on the destiny in store for me." The Jesuit +Giuliani entering his room, he asked that the window might be opened +for the admission of light and air. Before the words were finished he +exclaimed in a voice of thunder, "How! wretched youth, thou complainest +of the dark, whilst thou art living in the clouds of error? Dost thou +desire the light of heaven, while thou rejectest the light of the +Catholic faith?" + +Ciocci saw that remonstrance was useless, but he reminded his jailer +that he had been sent there for three days, to receive instruction, not +to be treated as a criminal. + +"For three days," he resumed, counterfeiting my tone of voice, "for +three days! That would be nothing. The dainty youth will not forsooth, +be roughly treated; it remains to be seen whether he desires to be +courteously entertained. Be converted, be converted, condemned soul! +Fortunate is it for thee that thou art come to this place. THOU WILT +NEVER quit it excepting with the real fruits of repentance! Among these +silent shades canst thou meditate at thy leisure upon the deplorable +state into which thou hast fallen. Woe unto thee, if thou refusest to +listen to the voice of God, who conducts souls into solitude that he +may speak with them." "So saying," he continues, "he abruptly left me. I +remained alone drooping under the weight of a misfortune, which was the +more severe, because totally unexpected. I stood, I know not how long, +in the same position, but on recovering from this lethargy, my first +idea was of flight. But this thought was at once abandoned. There was no +possibility of flight. Without giving a minute account of the manner +in which I passed my wearisome days and nights in this prison, let it +suffice to say that they were spent in listening to sermons preached to +me four times a day by the fathers Giuliani and Rossini, and in the most +gloomy reflections. + +"In the mean time the miseries I endured were aggravated by the heat of +the season, the wretchedness of the chamber, scantiness of food, and the +rough severity of those by whom I was occasionally visited. Uncertainty +as to when this imprisonment would be at an end, almost drove me wild, +and the first words I addressed to those who approached me were, 'Have +the kindness to tell me when I shall be permitted to leave this place?' +One replied, 'My son, think of hell.' I interrogated another; the answer +was, 'Think my son, how terrible is the death of the sinner!' I spoke +to a third, to a fourth, and one said to me, 'My son, what will be your +feeling, if, on the day of judgment you find yourself on the left hand +of God?' the other, 'Paradise, my son, Paradise!' No one gave me a +direct answer; their object appeared to be to mistify and confound me. +After the first few days, I began to feel most severely the want of +a change of clothing. Accustomed to cleanliness, I found myself +constrained to wear soiled apparel. * * * For the want of a comb, my +hair became rough and entangled. After the fourth day my portion of food +was diminished; a sign, that they were pressing the siege, that it was +their intention to adopt both assault and blockade--to conquer me by +arms, or induce me to capitulate through hunger. I had been shut up in +this wretched place for thirteen days, when, one day, about noon, the +Father Mislei, the author of all my misery, entered my cell. + +"At the sight of this man, resentment overcame every other +consideration, and I advanced towards him fully prepared to indulge my +feelings, when he, with his usual smile, expressed in bland words +his deep regret at having been the cause of my long detention in this +retreat. 'Never could I have supposed,' said he, 'that my anxiety +for the salvation of your soul would have brought you into so much +tribulation. But rest assured the fault is not entirely mine. You have +yourself, in a great degree, by your useless obstinacy, been the cause +of your sufferings. Ah, well, we will yet remedy all.' Not feeling any +confidence in his assurance, I burst out into bitter invectives and +fierce words. He then renewed his protestations, and clothed them with +such a semblance of honesty and truth, that when he ended with this +tender conclusion, 'Be assured, my son, that I love you,' my anger +vanished. * * * I lost sight of the Jesuit, and thought I was addressing +a man, a being capable of sympathising in the distresses of others. 'Ah, +well, father,' said I, 'I need some one on whom I can rely, some one +towards whom I can feel kindly; I will therefore place confidence in +your words.'" After some further conversation, Ciocci was asked if +he wished to leave that place. "If I desire it!" he replied, "what a +strange question! You might as well ask a condemned soul whether he +desires to escape from hell!" At these words the Jesuit started like a +goaded animal, and, forgetting his mission of deceiver, with, knit brows +and compressed lips, he allowed his ferocious soul for one moment +to appear; but, having grown old in deceit, he immediately had the +circumspection to give this movement of rage the appearance of religious +zeal, and exclaimed, "What comparisons are these? Are you not ashamed to +assume the language of the Atheist? By speaking in this way you clearly +manifest how little you deserve to leave this place. But since I have +told you that I love you, I will give you a proof of it by thinking no +more of those irreligious expressions; they shall be forgotten as though +they had never been spoken. Well, the Cardinal proposes to you an easy +way of returning to your monastery." "What does he propose?" "Here is +the way," said he, presenting me with a paper: "copy this with your +own hand; nothing more will be required of you." "I took the paper with +convulsive eagerness. It was a recantation of my faith, there condemned +as erroneous. * * * Upon reading this, I shuddered, and, starting to my +feet, in a solemn attitude and with a firm voice, exclaimed, 'Kill me, +if you please; my life is in your power; but never will I subscribe +to that iniquitous formulary.' The Jesuit, after laboring in vain +to persuade me to his wishes, went away in anger. I now momentarily +expected to be conducted to the torture. Whenever I was taken from my +room to the chapel, I feared lest some trap-door should open beneath +my feet, and therefore took great care to tread in the footsteps of the +Jesuit who preceded me. No one acquainted with the Inquisition will say +that my precaution was needless. My imagination was so filled with the +horrors of this place, that even in my short, interrupted, and feverish +dreams I beheld daggers and axes glittering around me; I heard the noise +of wheels, saw burning piles and heated irons, and woke in convulsive +terror, only to give myself up to gloomy reflections, inspired by the +reality of my situation, and the impressions left by these nocturnal +visions. What tears did I shed in those dreary moments! How innumerable +were the bitter wounds that lacerated my heart! My prayers seemed to me +unworthy to be received by a God of charity, because, notwithstanding +all my efforts to banish from my soul every feeling of resentment +towards my persecutors, hatred returned with redoubled power. I often +repeated the words of Christ, 'Father, forgive them, they know not what +they do;' but immediately a voice would answer, 'This prayer is not +intended for the Jesuits; they resemble not the crucifiers, who were +blind instruments of the rage of the Jews; while these men are fully +conscious of what they are doing; they are the modern Pharisees.' The +reading of the Bible would have afforded me great consolation, but this +was denied me." * * * + +The fourteenth day of his imprisonment he was taken to the council +to hear his sentence, when he was again urged to sign the form of +recantation. But he refused. The Father Rossini then spoke: "You are +decided; let it be, then, as you deserve. Rebellious son of the church, +in the fullness of the power which she has received from Christ, you +shall feel the holy rigor of her laws. She cannot permit tares to grow +with the good seed. She cannot suffer you to remain among her sons and +become the stumbling-block for the ruin of many. Abandon, therefore, +all hope of leaving this place, and of returning to dwell among the +faithful. KNOW, ALL IS FINISHED FOR YOU!" + +For the conclusion of this narrative we refer the reader to the volume +itself. + +If any more evidence were needed to show that the spirit of Romanism is +the same to-day that it has ever been, we find it in the account of +a legal prosecution against ten Christians at Beldac, in France, +for holding and attending a public worship not licensed by the civil +authority. They had made repeated, respectful, and earnest applications +to the prefect of the department of Hante-Vienne for the authorization +required by law, and which, in their case, ought to have been given. +It was flatly refused. They persisted in rendering to God that worship +which his own command and their consciences required. For this they were +arraigned as above stated, on the 10th of August, 1855. On the 26th of +January, 1856, the case was decided by the "tribunal," and the three +pastors and one lady, a schoolmistress, were condemned to pay a fine +of one thousand francs each, and some of the others five-hundred francs +each, the whole amount, together with legal expenditures, exceeding the +sum of nine thousand francs. + +Meantime, the converts continue to hold their worship-meetings in the +woods, barns, and secret places, in order not to be surprised by the +police commissioner, and to avoid new official reports. + +"Thus, you see," says V. De Pressense, in a letter to the 'American and +foreign Christian Union,' "that we are brought back to the religious +meetings of the desert, when the Protestants of the Cevennes evinced +such persevering fidelity. The only difference is, that these Christians +belonged only a short time ago to that church which is now instigating +persecutions against them." + + +DESTRUCTION OF THE INQUISITION IN SPAIN. + +In 1809, Col. Lehmanowsky was attached to the part of Napoleon's army +which was stationed in Madrid. "While in that city," said Col. L., "I +used to speak freely among the people what I thought of the Priests +and Jesuits, and of the Inquisition. It had been decreed by the Emperor +Napoleon that the Inquisition and the Monasteries should be suppressed, +but the decree, he said, like some of the laws enacted in this country, +was not executed." + +Months had passed away, and the prisons of the Inquisition had not been +opened. One night, about ten or eleven o'clock, as he was walking one of +the streets of Madrid, two armed men sprang upon him from an alley, and +made a furious attack. He instantly drew his sword, put himself in a +posture of defence, and while struggling with them, he saw at a distance +the lights of the patrols,--French soldiers mounted, who carried +lanterns, and who rode through the streets of the city at all hours of +the night, to preserve order. He called to them in French, and as they +hastened to his assistance, the assailants took to their heels and +escaped; not, however, before he saw by their dress that they belonged +to the guards of the Inquisition. + +He went immediately to Marshal Soult, then Governor of Madrid, told him +what had taken place, and reminded him of the decree to suppress this +institution. Marshal Soult told him that he might go and suppress it The +Colonel said that his regiment (the 9th. of the Polish Lancers,) was not +sufficient for such a service, but if he would give him two additional +regiments, the 117th, and another which he named, he would undertake the +work. The 117th regiment was under the command of Col. De Lile, who +is now, like Col. L., a minister of the gospel, and pastor of an +evangelical church in Marseilles, France. "The troops required were +granted, and I proceeded," said Col. L., "to the Inquisition which was +situated about five miles from the city. It was surrounded by a wall of +great strength, and defended by a company of soldiers. When we arrived +at the walls, I addressed one of the sentinels, and summoned the holy +fathers to surrender to the Imperial army, and open the gates of the +Inquisition. The sentinel who was standing on the wall, appeared to +enter into conversation with some one within, at the close of which he +presented his musket, and shot one of my men. This was the signal of +attack, and I ordered my troops to fire upon those who appeared on the +walls." + +It was soon obvious that it was an unequal warfare. The soldiers of the +holy office were partially protected by a breast-work upon the walls +which were covered with soldiers, while our troops were in the open +plain, and exposed to a destructive fire. We had no cannon, nor could +we scale the walls, and the gates successfully resisted all attempts at +forcing them. I could not retire and send for cannon to break through +the walls without giving them time to lay a train for blowing us up. +I saw that it was necessary to change the mode of attack, and directed +some trees to be cut down and trimmed, to be used as battering rams. Two +of these were taken up by detachments of men, as numerous as could work +to advantage, and brought to bear upon the walls with all the power they +could exert, while the troops kept up a fire to protect them from the +fire poured upon them from the walls. Presently the walls began to +tremble, a breach was made, and the Imperial troops rushed into the +Inquisition. Here we met with an incident, which nothing but Jesuitical +effrontery is equal to. The Inquisitor General, followed by the father +confessors in their priestly robes, all came out of their rooms, as we +were making our way into the interior of the Inquisition, and with long +faces, and arms crossed over their breasts, their fingers resting on +their shoulders, as though they had been deaf to all the noise of +the attack and defence, and had just learned what was going on, they +addressed themselves in the language of rebuke to their own soldiers, +saying, "WHY DO YOU FIGHT OUR FRIENDS, THE FRENCH?" + +Their intention, no doubt, was to make us think that this defence was +wholly unauthorized by them, hoping, if they could make us believe +that they were friendly, they should have a better opportunity, in the +confusion of the moment, to escape. Their artifice was too shallow, and +did not succeed. I caused them to be placed under guard, and all +the soldiers of the Inquisition to be secured as prisoners. We then +proceeded to examine all the rooms of the stately edifice. We passed +through room after room; found all perfectly in order, richly furnished, +with altars and crucifixes, and wax candles in abundance, but we could +discover no evidences of iniquity being practiced there, nothing of +those peculiar features which we expected to find in an Inquisition. +We found splendid paintings, and a rich and extensive library. Here was +beauty and splendor, and the most perfect order on which my eyes +had ever rested. The architecture, the proportions were perfect. The +ceilings and floors of wood were scoured and highly polished. The marble +floors were arranged with a strict regard to order. There was everything +to please the eye and gratify a cultivated taste; but where were those +horrid instruments of torture, of which we had been told, and where +those dungeons in which human beings were said to be buried alive? We +searched in vain. The holy father assured us that they had been +belied; that we had seen all; and I was prepared to give up the search, +convinced that this Inquisition was different from others of which I had +heard. + +But Col. De Idle was not so ready as myself to give up the search, and +said to me, "Colonel, you are commander to-day, and as you say, so it +must be; but if you will be advised by me, let this marble floor be +examined. Let water be brought and poured upon it, and we will watch +and see if there is any place through which it passes more freely than +others." I replied to him, "Do as you please, Colonel," and ordered +water to be brought accordingly. The slabs of marble were large and +beautifully polished. When the water had been poured over the floor, +much to the dissatisfaction of the inquisitors, a careful examination +was made of every seam in the floor, to see if the water passed through. +Presently Col. De Lile exclaimed that he had found it. By the side of +one of these marble slabs the water passed through fast, as though +there was an opening beneath. All hands were now at work for further +discovery; the officers with their swords and the soldiers with their +bayonets, seeking to clear out the seam, and pry up the slab; others +with the butts of their muskets striking the slab with all their might +to break it, while the priests remonstrated against our desecrating +their holy and beautiful house. While thus engaged, a soldier, who was +striking with the butt of his musket, struck a spring, and the marble +slab flew up. Then the faces of the inquisitors grew pale as Belshazzar +when the hand writing appeared on the wall; they trembled all over; +beneath the marble slab, now partly up, there was a stair-case. I +stepped to the altar, and took from the candlestick one of the candles +four feet in length, which was burning that I might explore the room +below. As I was doing this, I was arrested by one of the inquisitors, +who laid his hand gently on my arm, and with a very demure and holy look +said "My son, you must not take those lights with your bloody hands they +are holy." "Well," said I, "I will take a holy thing to shed light +on iniquity; I will bear the responsibility." I took the candle, and +proceeded down the stair-case. As we reached the foot of the stairs +we entered a large room which was called the hall of judgment. In the +centre of it was a large block, and a chain fastened to it. On this they +were accustomed to place the accused, chained to his seat. On one side +of the room was an elevated seat called the Throne of Judgment. This, +the Inquisitor General occupied, and on either side were seats less +elevated, for the holy fathers when engaged in the solemn business of +the Holy Inquisition. + +From this room we proceeded to the right, and obtained access to small +cells extending the entire length of the edifice; and here such sights +were presented as we hoped never to see again. Three cells were places +of solitary confinement, where the wretched objects of inquisitorial +hate were confined year after year, till death released them from their +sufferings, and their bodies were suffered to remain until they were +entirely decayed, and the rooms had become fit for others to occupy. +To prevent this being offensive to those who occupied the Inquisition, +there were flues or tubes extending to the open air, sufficiently +capacious to carry off the odor. In these cells we found the remains +of some who had paid the debt of nature: some of them had been dead +apparently but a short time, while of others nothing remained but their +bones, still chained to the floor of their dungeon. + +In others we found living sufferers of both sexes and of every age, from +three score years and ten down to fourteen or fifteen years--all naked +as they were born into the world! And all in chains! Here were old men +and aged women, who had been shut up for many years. Here, too, were the +middle aged, and the young man and the maiden of fourteen years old. +The soldiers immediately went to work to release the captives from +their chains, and took from their knapsacks their overcoats and +other clothing, which they gave to cover their nakedness. They were +exceedingly anxious to bring them out to the light of day; but Col. +L., aware of the danger, had food given them, and then brought them +gradually to the light, as they were able to bear it. + +We then proceeded, said Col. L., to explore another room on the left. +Here we found the instruments of torture, of every kind which the +ingenuity of men or devils could invent. Col. L., here described four +of these horrid instruments. The first was a machine by which the victim +was confined, and then, beginning with the fingers, every joint in the +hands, arms and body, were broken or drawn one after another, until the +victim died. The second was a box, in which the head and neck of the +victim were so closely confined by a screw that he could not move in any +way. Over the box was a vessel, from which one drop of water a second, +fell upon the head of the victim;--every successive drop falling upon +precisely the same place on the head, suspended the circulation in a few +moments, and put the sufferer in the most excruciating agony. The third +was an infernal machine, laid horizontally, to which the victim was +bound; the machine then being placed between two beams, in which were +scores of knives so fixed that, by turning the machine with a crank, the +flesh of the sufferer was torn from his limbs, all in small pieces. The +fourth surpassed the others in fiendish ingenuity. Its exterior was +a beautiful woman, or large doll, richly dressed, with arms extended, +ready, to embrace its victim. Around her feet a semi-circle was drawn. +The victim who passed over this fatal mark, touched a spring which +caused the diabolical engine to open; its arms clasped him, and a +thousand knives cut him into as many pieces in the deadly embrace. Col. +L., said that the sight of these engines of infernal cruelty kindled the +rage of the soldiers to fury. They declared that every inquisitor and +soldier of the inquisition should be put to the torture. Their rage was +ungovernable. Col. L., did not oppose them. They might have turned their +arms against him if he had attempted to arrest their work. They began +with the holy fathers. The first they put to death in the machine for +breaking joints. The torture of the inquisitor put to death by the +dropping of water on his head was most excruciating. The poor man cried +out in agony to be taken from the fatal machine. The inquisitor general +was brought before the infernal engine called "The Virgin." He begged to +be excused. "No" said they, "you have caused others to kiss her, and +now you must do it." They interlocked their bayonets so as to form large +forks, and with these pushed him over the deadly circle. The beautiful +image instantly prepared for the embrace, clasped him in its arms, +and he was cut into innumerable pieces. Col. L. said, he witnessed the +torture of four of them--his heart sickened at the awful scene--and he +left the soldiers to wreak their vengeance on the last guilty inmate of +that prison-house of hell. + +In the mean time it was reported through Madrid that the prisons of the +Inquisition were broken open, and multitudes hastened to the fatal spot. +And, Oh, what a meeting was there! It was like a resurrection! About a +hundred who had been buried for many years were now restored to life. +There were fathers who had found their long lost daughters; wives were +restored to their husbands, sisters to their brothers, parents to their +children; and there were some who could recognize no friend among the +multitude. The scene was such as no tongue can describe. + +When the multitude had retired, Col. L. caused the library, paintings, +furniture, etc., to be removed, and having sent to the city for a wagon +load of powder, he deposited a large quantity in the vaults beneath +the building, and placed a slow match in connection with it. All had +withdrawn to a distance, and in a few moments there was a most joyful +sight to thousands. The walls and turrets of the massive structure rose +majestically towards the heavens, impelled by the tremendous explosion, +and fell back to the earth an immense heap of ruins. The Inquisition was +no more! + +Such is the account given by Col. Lehmanowsky of the destruction of the +inquisition in Spain. Was it then finally destroyed, never again to be +revived? Listen to the testimony of the Rev. Giacinto Achilli, D. D. +Surely, his statements in this respect can be relied upon, for he is +himself a convert from Romanism, and was formerly the "Head Professor of +Theology, and Vicar of the Master of the Sacred Apostolic Palace." + +He certainly had every opportunity to obtain correct information on the +subject, and in a book published by him in 1851, entitled "Dealings +with the Inquisition," we find, (page 71) the following startling +announcement. "We are now in the middle of the nineteenth century, and +still the Inquisition is actually and potentially in existence. This +disgrace to humanity, whose entire history is a mass of atrocious +crimes, committed by the priests of the Church of Rome, in the name of +God and of His Christ, whose vicar and representative, the pope, the +head of the Inquisition, declares himself to be,--this abominable +institution is still in existence in Rome and in the Roman States." + +Again, (page 89) he says, "And this most infamous Inquisition, a hundred +times destroyed and as often renewed, still exists in Rome as in the +barbarous ages; the only difference being that the same iniquities are +at present practiced there with a little more secrecy and caution than +formerly, and this for the sake of prudence, that the Holy See may not +be subjected to the animadversions of the world at large." + +On page 82 of the same work we find the following language. "I do not +propose to myself to speak of the Inquisition of times past, but of what +exists in Rome at the present moment; I shall therefore assert that the +laws of this institution being in no respect changed, neither can the +institution itself be said to have undergone any alteration. The present +race of priests who are now in power are too much afraid of the popular +indignation to let loose all their inquisitorial fury, which might even +occasion a revolt if they were not to restrain it; the whole world, +moreover, would cry out against them, a crusade would be raised against +the Inquisition, and, for a little temporary gratification, much power +would be endangered. This is the true reason why the severity of its +penalties is in some degree relaxed at the present time, but they still +remain unaltered in its code." + +Again on page 102, he says, "Are the torments which are employed at the +present day at the Inquisition all a fiction? It requires the impudence +of an inquisitor, or of the Archbishop of Westminister to deny their +existence. I have myself heard these evil-minded persons lament and +complain that their victims were treated with too much lenity. + +"What is it you desire?" I inquired of the inquisitor of Spoleto. +"That which St. Thomas Aquinas says," answered he; "DEATH TO ALL THE +HERETICS." + +"Hand over, then, to one of these people, a person, however respectable; +give him up to one of the inquisitors, (he who quoted St. Thomas Aquinas +to me was made an Archbishop)--give up, I say, the present Archbishop of +Canterbury, an amiable and pious man, to one of these rabid inquisitors; +he must either deny his faith or be burned alive. Is my statement +false? Am I doting? Is not this the spirit that invariably actuates the +inquisitors? and not the inquisitors only, but all those who in any +way defile themselves with the inquisition, such as bishops and their +vicars, and all those who defend it, as the papists do. There is the +renowned Dr. Wiseman, the Archbishop of Westminster according to the +pope's creation, the same who has had the assurance to censure me from +his pulpit, and to publish an infamous article in the Dublin Review, in +which he has raked together, as on a dunghill, every species of filth +from the sons of Ignatius Loyola; and there is no lie or calumny that he +has not made use of against me. Well, then, suppose I were to be handed +over to the tender mercy of Dr. Wiseman, and he had the full power to +dispose of me as he chose, without fear of losing his character in +the eyes of the nation to which, by parentage more than by merit, he +belongs, what do you imagine he would do with me? Should I not have to +undergo some death more terrible than ordinary? Would not a council be +held with the reverend fathers of the company of Loyola, the same who +have suggested the abominable calumnies above alluded to, in order +to invent some refined method of putting me out of the world? I feel +persuaded that if I were condemned by the Inquisition to be burned +alive, my calumniator would have great pleasure in building my funeral +pile, and setting fire to it with his own hands; or should strangulation +be preferred, that he would, with equal readiness, arrange the cord +around my neck; and all for the honor and glory of the Inquisition, of +which, according to his oath, he is a true and faithful servant." + +This, then, according to Dr. Achilli is the spirit of Romanism! Can we +doubt that it would lead to results as frightful as anything described +in the foregoing story? + +But let us listen to his further remarks on the present state of the +Inquisition. On page 75 he says, "What, then, is the Inquisition of the +nineteenth century? The same system of intolerance which prevailed in +the barbarous ages. That which raised the Crusade and roused all Europe +to arms at the voice of a monk [Footnote: Bernard of Chiaravalle.] and +of a hermit, [Footnote: Peter the Hermit.] That which--in the name of +a God of peace, manifested on earth by Christ, who, through love +for sinners, gave himself to be crucified--brought slaughter on the +Albigenses and the Waldenses; filled France with desolation, under +Domenico di Guzman; raised in Spain the funeral pile and the scaffold, +devastating the fair kingdoms of Granada and Castile, through the +assistance of those detestable monks, Raimond de Pennefort, Peter +Arbues, and Cardinal Forquemorda. That, which, to its eternal infamy, +registers in the annals of France the fatal 24th of August, and the 5th +of November in those of England." + +That same system which at this moment flourishes at Rome, which has +never yet been either worn out or modified, and which at this present +time, in the jargon of the priests, is called a "the holy, Roman, +universal, apostolic Inquisition. Holy, as the place where Christ was +crucified is holy; apostolic, because Judas Iscariot was the first +inquisitor; Roman and universal, because FROM ROME IT EXTENDS OVER ALL +THE WORLD. It is denied by some that the Inquisition which exists in +Rome as its centre, is extended throughout the world by means of the +missionaries. The Roman Inquisition and the Roman Propaganda are in +close connection with each other. Every bishop who is sent in partibus +infidelium, is an inquisitor charged to discover, through the means of +his missionaries, whatever is said or done by others in reference to +Rome, with the obligation to make his report secretly. The Apostolic +nuncios are all inquisitors, as are also the Apostolic vicars. Here, +then, we see the Roman Inquisition extending to the most remote +countries." Again this same writer informs us, (page 112,) that "the +principal object of the Inquisition is to possess themselves, by +every means in their power, of the secrets of every class of society. +Consequently its agents (Jesuits and Missionaries,) enter the domestic +circle, observe every motion, listen to every conversation, and would, +if possible, become acquainted with the most hidden thoughts. It is in +fact, the police, not only of Rome, but of all Italy; INDEED, IT MAY BE +SAID OF THE WHOLE WORLD." + +The above statements of Dr. Achilli are fully corroborated by the Rev. +Wm. H. Rule, of London. In a book published by him in 1852, entitled +"The Brand of Dominic," we find the following remarks in relation to the +Inquisition of the present time. The Roman Inquisition is, therefore, +acknowledged to have an infinite multitude of affairs constantly on +hand, which necessitates its assemblage thrice every week. Still there +are criminals, and criminal processes. The body of officials are still +maintained on established revenues of the holy office. So far from any +mitigation of severity or judicial improvement in the spirit of its +administration, the criminal has now no choice of an advocate; but one +person, and he a servant of the Inquisition, performs an idle ceremony, +under the name of advocacy, for the conviction of all. And let the +reader mark, that as there are bishops in partibus, so, in like manner, +there are inquisitors of the same class appointed in every country, and +chiefly, in Great Britain and the colonies, who are sworn to secrecy, +and of course communicate intelligence to this sacred congregation of +all that can be conceived capable of comprehension within the infinitude +of its affairs. We must, therefore, either believe that the court +of Rome is not in earnest, and that this apparatus of universal +jurisdiction is but a shadow,--an assumption which is contrary to all +experience,--or we must understand that the spies and familiars of the +Inquisition are listening at our doors, and intruding themselves on our +hearths. How they proceed, and what their brethren at Rome are doing, +events may tell; BUT WE MAY BE SURE THEY ARE NOT IDLE. + +They were not idle in Rome in 1825, when they rebuilt the prisons of +the Inquisition. They were not idle in 1842, when they imprisoned Dr. +Achilli for heresy, as he assures us; nor was the captain, or some other +of the subalterns, who, acting in their name, took his watch from him +as he came out. They were not idle in 1843, when they renewed the old +edicts against the Jews. And all the world knows that the inquisitors on +their stations throughout the pontifical states, and the inquisitorial +agents in Italy, Germany, and Eastern Europe, were never more active +than during the last four years, and even at this moment, when every +political misdemeanor that is deemed offensive to the Pope, is, +constructively, a sin against the Inquisition, and visited with +punishment accordingly. A deliberative body, holding formal session +thrice every week, cannot be idle, and although it may please them to +deny that Dr. Achilli saw and examined a black book, containing the +praxis now in use, the criminal code of inquisitors in force at this +day,--as Archibald Bower had an abstract of such a book given him for +his use about one hundred and thirty years ago,--they cannot convince +me that I have not seen and handled, and used in the preparation of this +volume, the compendium of an unpublished Roman code of inquisitorial +regulations, given to the vicars of the inquisitor-general of Modena. +They may be pleased to say that the mordacchia, or gag, of which Dr. +Achilli speaks, as mentioned in that BLACK BOOK, is no longer used; +but that it is mentioned there, and might be used again is more than +credible to myself, after having seen that the "sacred congregation" has +fixed a rate of fees for the ordering, witnessing, and administration of +TORTURE. There was indeed, a talk of abolishing torture at Rome; but +we have reason to believe that the congregation will not drop the +mordacchia, inasmuch, as, instead of notifying any such reformation to +the courts of Europe, this congregation has kept silence. For although a +continuation of the bullary has just been published at Rome, containing +several decrees of this congregation, there is not one that announces +a fulfilment of this illusory promise,--a promise imagined by a +correspondent to French newspapers, but never given by the inquisitors +themselves. And as there is no proof that they have yet abstained from +torture, there is a large amount of circumstantial evidence that they +have delighted themselves in death. And why not? When public burnings +became inexpedient--as at Goa--did they not make provision for private +executions? + +For a third time at least the Roman prisons--I am not speaking of those +of the provinces--were broken open, in 1849, after the desertion of Pius +IX., and two prisoners were found there, an aged bishop and a nun. +Many persons in Rome reported the event; but instead of copying what is +already before the public, I translate a letter addressed to me by P. +Alessandro Gavazzi, late chaplain-general of the Roman army, in reply +to a few questions which I had put to him. All who have heard his +statements may judge whether his account of facts be not marked with +every note of accuracy. They will believe that his power of oratory DOES +NOT betray him into random declamation. Under date of March 20th, 1852, +he writes thus: + +"MY DEAR SIR,--In answering your questions concerning the palace of +Inquisition at Rome, I should say that I can give only a few superficial +and imperfect notes. So short was the time that it remained open to the +public, So great the crowd of persons that pressed to catch a sight of +it, and so intense the horror inspired by that accursed place, that I +could not obtain a more exact and particular impression. + +"I found no instruments of torture, [Footnote: "The gag, the +thumb-screw, and many other instruments of severe torture could be +easily destroyed and others as easily procured. The non-appearance of +instruments is not enough to sustain the current belief that the use of +them is discontinued. So long as there is a secret prison, and while +all the existing standards of inquisitorial practice make torture +an ordinary expedient for extorting information, not even a bull, +prohibiting torture, would be sufficient to convince the world that +it has been discontinued. The practice of falsehood is enjoined on +inquisitors. How, then, could we believe a bull, or decree, if it were +put forth to-morrow, to release them from suspicion, or to screen them +from obloquy? It would not be entitled to belief."--Rev. Wm. H. Rule.] +for they were destroyed at the time of the first French invasion, +and because such instruments were not used afterwards by the modern +Inquisition. I did, however, find, in one of the prisons of the second +court, a furnace, and the remains of a woman's dress. I shall never be +able to believe that that furnace was placed there for the use of the +living, it not being in such a place, or of such a kind, as to be of +service to them. Everything, on the contrary, combines to persuade me +that it was made use of for horrible deaths, and to consume the remains +of the victims of inquisitorial executions. Another object of horror I +found between the great hall of judgment and the luxurious apartment of +the chief jailer (primo custode), the Dominican friar who presides over +this diabolical establishment. This was a deep trap or shaft opening +into the vaults under the Inquisition. As soon as the so-called criminal +had confessed his offence; the second keeper, who is always a Dominican +friar, sent him to the father commissary to receive a relaxation +[Footnote: "In Spain, RELAXATION is delivery to death. In the +established style of the Inquisition it has the same meaning. But in the +common language of Rome it means RELEASE. In the lips of the inquisitor, +therefore, if he used the word, it has one meaning, and another to the +ear of the prisoner."--Rev. Wm. H. Rule.] of his punishment. With the +hope of pardon, the confessed culprit would go towards the apartment of +the holy inquisitor; but in the act of setting foot at its entrance, +the trap opened, and the world of the living heard no more of him. I +examined some of the earth found in the pit below this trap; it was a +compost of common earth, rottenness, ashes, and human hair, fetid to the +smell, and horrible to the sight and to the thought of the beholder. + +"But where popular fury reached its highest pitch was in the vaults of +St. Pius V. I am anxious that you should note well that this pope was +canonized by the Roman church especially for his zeal against heretics. +I will now describe to you the manner how, and the place where, those +vicars of Jesus Christ handled the living members of Jesus Christ, and +show you how they proceeded for their healing. You descend into the +vaults by very narrow stairs. A narrow corridor leads you to the +several cells, which, for smallness and stench, are a hundred times more +horrible than the dens of lions and tigers in the Colosseum. Wandering +in this labyrinth of most fearful prisons, that may be called 'graves +for the living,' I came to a cell full of skeletons without skulls, +buried in lime, and the skulls, detached from the bodies, had been +collected in a hamper by the first visitors. Whose were those skeletons? +and why were they buried in that place and in that manner? I have heard +some popish priests trying to defend the Inquisition from the charge of +having condemned its victims to a secret death, say that the palace of +the Inquisition was built on a burial-ground, belonging anciently to a +hospital for pilgrims, and that the skeletons found were none other +than those of pilgrims who had died in that hospital. But everything +contradicts this papistical defence. Suppose that there had been a +cemetery there, it could not have had subterranean galleries and +cells, laid out with so great regularity; and even if there had been +such--against all probability--the remains of bodies would have been +removed on laying the foundation of the palace, to leave the space free +for the subterranean part of the Inquisition. Besides, it is contrary to +the use of common tombs to bury the dead by carrying them through a door +at the side; for the mouth of the sepulchre is always at the top. And +again, it has never been the custom in Italy to bury the dead singly in +quick lime; but, in time of plague, the dead bodies have been usually +laid in a grave until it was sufficiently full, and then quick lime has +been laid over them, to prevent pestilential exhalations, by hastening +the decomposition of the infected corpses. This custom was continued, +some years ago, in the cemeteries of Naples, and especially in the daily +burial of the poor. Therefore, the skeletons found in the Inquisition +of Rome could not belong to persons who had died a natural death in +a hospital; nor could any one, under such a supposition, explain the +mystery of all the bodies being buried in lime except the head. It +remains, then, beyond a doubt, that that subterranean vault contained +the victims of one of the many secret martyrdoms of the butcherly +tribunal. The following is the most probable opinion, if it be not +rather the history of a fact: + +"The condemned were immersed in a bath of slaked lime, gradually filled +up to their necks. The lime by little and little enclosed the sufferers, +or walled them up alive. The torment was extreme but slow. As the lime +rose higher and higher, the respiration became more and more painful, +because more difficult. So that what with the suffocation of the smoke, +and the anguish of the compressed breathing, they died in a manner most +horrible and desperate. Some time after their death the heads would +naturally separate from the bodies, and roll away into the hollows made +by the shrinking of the lime. Any other explanation of the feet that may +be attempted will be found improbable and unnatural. You may make what +use you please of these notes of mine, since I can warrant their +truth. I wish that writers, speaking of this infamous tribunal of the +Inquisition, would derive their information from pure history, unmingled +with romance; for so great and so many the historical atrocities of the +Inquisition, that they would more than suffice to arouse the detestation +of a thousand worlds. I know that the popish impostor-priests go about +saying that the Inquisition was never an ecclesiastical tribunal, but +a laic. But you will have shown the contrary in your work, and may also +add, in order quite to unmask these lying preachers, that the palace +of the Inquisition at Rome is under the shadow of the palace of the +Vatican; that the keepers are to this day, Dominican friars; and that +the prefect of the Inquisition at Rome is the Pope in person. + +"I have the honor to be your affectionate Servant, + +"ALESSANDRA GAVAZZI." + + +"The Roman parliament decreed the erection of a pillar opposite the +palace of the Inquisition, to perpetuate the memory of the destruction +of that nest of abominations; but before that or any other monument +could be raised, the French army besieged and took the city, restored +the Pope, and with him the tribunal of the faith. Not only was Dr. +Achilli thrown into one of its old prisons, on the 29th of July 1849, +but the violence of the people having made the building less adequate +to the purpose of safe keeping, he was transferred to the castle of +St. Angelo, which had often been employed for the custody of similar +delinquents, and there he lay in close confinement until the 9th of +January, 1850, when the French authorities, yielding to influential +representations from this country assisted him to escape in disguise as +a soldier, thus removing an occasion of scandal, but carefully leaving +the authority of the congregation of cardinals undisputed. Indeed +they first obtained the verbal sanction of the commissary, who saw it +expedient to let his victim go, and hush an outcry. + +"Yet some have the hardihood to affirm that there is no longer any +Inquisition; and as the Inquisitors were instructed to suppress the +truth, to deny their knowledge of cases actually passing through their +hands, and to fabricate falsehoods for the sake of preserving the +SECRET, because the secret was absolutely necessary to the preservation +of their office, so do the Inquisitors in partibus falsify and illude +without the least scruple of conscience, in order to put the people of +this country off their guard. + +"That the Inquisition really exists, is placed beyond a doubt by its +daily action as a visible institution at Rome. But if any one should +fancy that it was abolished after the release of Dr. Achilli, let him +hear a sentence contradictory, from a bull of the Pope himself, Pius IX, +a document that was dated at Rome, August 22, 1851, where the pontiff, +condemning the works of Professor Nuytz, of Turin, says, "after having +taken the advice of the doctors in theology and canon law, AFTER HAVING +COLLECTED THE SUFFRAGES OF OUR VENERABLE BROTHERS THE CARDINALS OF THE +CONGREGATION OF THE SUPREME AND UNIVERSAL INQUISITION." And so recently +as March, 1852, by letters of the Secretariate of State, he appointed +four cardinals to be "members of the Sacred Congregation of the Holy +Roman and Universal Inquisition;" giving incontrovertible evidence that +provision is made for attending to communications of Inquisitors in +partibus from all parts of the world. As the old cardinals die off, +their vacant seats are filled by others. The 'immortal legion' is +punctually recruited. + +"After all, have we in Great Britain, Ireland and the colonies, and our +brethren of the foreign mission stations, any reason to apprehend harm +to, ourselves from the Inquisition as it is? In reply to this question, +let it be observed; + +"1. That there are Inquisitors in partibus is not to be denied. That +letters of these Inquisitors are laid before the Roman Inquisition is +equally certain. Even in the time of Leo XII, when the church of +Rome was far less active in the British empire than it is now, some +particular case was always decided on Thursday, when the Pope, in his +character of universal Inquisitor, presided in the congregation. It +cannot be thought that now, in the height of its exultation, daring and +aggression, this congregation has fewer emissaries, or that they are +less active, or less communicative than they were at that time. We +also see that the number is constantly replenished. The cardinals Della +Genga-Sermattei; De Azevedo; Fornari; and Lucciardi have just been added +to it. + +"2. Besides a cardinal in England, and a delegate in Ireland, there is +both in England and Ireland, a body of bishops, 'natural Inquisitors,' +as they are always acknowledged, and have often claimed to be; and these +natural Inquisitors are all sworn to keep the secret--the soul of the +Inquisition. Since, then, there are Inquisitors in partibus, appointed +to supply the lack of an avowed and stationary Inquisition, and since +the bishops are the very persons whom the court of Rome can best +command, as pledged for such a service, it is reasonable to suppose they +act in that capacity. + +"3. Some of the proceedings of these bishops confirm the assurance that +there is now an Inquisition in activity in England. * * * The vigilance +exercised over families, also the intermeddling of priests with +education, both in families and schools, and with the innumerable +relations of civil society, can only be traced back to the Inquisitors +in partibus, whose peculiar duty, whether by help of confessors or +familiars, is to worm out every secret of affairs, private or public, +and to organize and conduct measures of repression or of punishment. +Where the secular arm cannot be borrowed, and where offenders lie beyond +the reach of excommunication, irregular methods must be resorted to, +not rejecting any as too crafty or too violent. Discontented mobs, or +individual zealots are to be found or bought. What part the Inquisitors +in partibus play in Irish assassinations, or in the general mass of +murderous assaults that is perpetrated in the lower haunts of crime, +it is impossible to say. Under cover of confessional and Inquisitorial +secrets, spreads a broad field of action--a region of mystery--only +visible to the eye of God, and to those 'most reverend and most eminent' +guardians of the papacy, who sit thrice every week, in the Minerva +and Vatican, and there manage the hidden springs of Inquisition on the +heretics, schismatics, and rebels, no less than on 'the faithful' +of realms. Who can calculate the extent of their power over those +'religious houses,' where so many of the inmates are but neophytes, +unfitted by British education for the intellectual and moral abnegation, +the surrender of mind and conscience, which monastic discipline +exacts? Yet they must be coerced into submission, and kept under penal +discipline. Who can tell how many of their own clergy are withdrawn +to Rome, and there delated, imprisoned, and left to perish, if not +'relaxed' to death, in punishment of heretical opinions or liberal +practices? We have heard of laymen, too, taken to Rome by force, or +decoyed thither under false pretences there to be punished by the +universal Inquisition; and whatever of incredibility may appear in some +tales of Inquisitorial abduction, the general fact that such abductions +have taken place, seems to be incontrovertible. And now that the +Inquisitors in partibus are distributed over Christendom, and that they +provide the Roman Inquisition with daily work from year's end to year's +end, is among the things most certain,--even the most careless of +Englishmen must acknowledge that we have all reason to apprehend much +evil from the Inquisition as it is. And no Christian can be aware of +this fact, without feeling himself more than ever bound to uphold +the cause of christianity, both at home and abroad, as the only +counteractive of so dire a curse, and the only remedy of so vast an +evil." Rev. Wm. Rule, London. + +The Rev. E. A. Lawrence, writing of "Romanism at Rome," gives us the +following vivid description of the present state of the Roman Church. + +"Next is seen at Rome the PROPAGANDA, the great missionary heart of the +whole masterly system. Noiselessly, by the multiform orders of monks and +nuns, as through so many veins and arteries, it sends out and receives +back its vital fluid. In its halls, the whole world is distinctly +mapped out, and the chief points of influence minutely marked. A kind of +telegraphic communication is established with the remotest stations in +South Africa and Siberia, and with almost every nook in our own land, +to which the myrmidons of Papal power look with the most of fear. It +is through means of this moral galvanic battery, set up in the Vatican, +that the Church of Rome has gained its power of UBIQUITY--has so well +nigh made itself OMNIPOTENT, as well as omnipresent. + +"It is no mean or puny antagonist that strides across the path of a +free, spiritual and advancing Protestantism. And yet, with a simple +shepherd's sling, and the smooth stones gathered from Siloa's brook, God +will give it the victory. + +"Once more let us look, and we shall find at Rome, still working in its +dark, malignant efficiency, the INQUISITION. Men are still made to pass +through fires of this Moloch. This is the grand defensive expedient of +the Papacy, and is the chief tribunal of the States. Its processes are +all as secret as the grave. Its cells are full of dead men's bones. They +call it the Asylum for the poor--a retreat for doubting and distressed +pilgrims, where they may have experience of the parental kindness of +their father the Pope, and their mother the church. + +"Dr. Achilli had a trial of this beneficient discipline, when thrown +into the deep dungeon of St. Angelo. And how many other poor victims of +this diabolical institution are at this moment pining in agony, heaven +knows. + +"In America, we talk about Rome as having ceased to persecute. IT IS A +MISTAKE. She holds to the principle as tenaciously as ever. She cannot +dispense with it. Of the evil spirit of Protestantism she says, "This +kind goeth not out, but by fire." Her reign, is a reign of terror. +Hence she must hold both the principle and the power of persecution, of +compelling men to believe, or, if they doubt, of putting them to death +for their own good. Take from her this power and she bites the dust." + + +ROMANISM IN AMERICA. + +It may perchance be said that the remarks of the Rev. William Rule, +quoted above, refer exclusively to the existing state of things is +England, Ireland, and the colonies. But who will dare to say, after a +careful investigation of the subject, that they do not apply with equal +force to these United States? + +Has America nothing to fear from the inquisitors--from the Jesuits? Is +it true that the "Inquisition still exists in Rome--that its code is +unchanged--that its emissaries are sent over all the world--that every +nuncio and bishop is an Inquisitor," and is it improbable that, even +now, torture rooms like those described in the foregoing story, may be +found in Roman Catholic establishments in this country? Yes, even here, +in Protestant, enlightened America! Have WE then nothing to fear from +Romanism? But a few days since a gentleman of learning and intelligence +when speaking of this subject, exclaimed, "What have we to do with the +Jesuits? and what is the Inquisition to us? The idea that we have aught +to fear from Romanism, is simply ridiculous!" In reply to this, allow +me to quote the language of the Rev. Manuel J. Gonsalves, leader of the +Madeira Exiles. + +"The time will come when the American people will arise as one man, and +not only abolish the confessional, but will follow the example of many +of the European nations, who had no peace, or rest, till they banished +the Jesuits. These are the men, who bask in the sunbeams of popery, to +whom the pope has entrusted the vast interests of the king of Rome, in +this great Republic. Nine tenths of the Romish priests, now working hard +for their Master the pope, in this country, are full blooded Jesuits. +The man of sin who is the head of the mystery of iniquity--through +the advice of the popish bishops now in this country, has selected +the Jesuitical order of priests, to carry on his great and gigantic +operations in the United States of America. Those Jesuits who +distinguish themselves the most in the destruction of Protestant Bible +religion, and who gain the largest number of protestant scholars for +popish schools and seminaries; who win most American converts to their +sect are offered great rewards in the shape of high offices in the +church. John Hughes, the Jesuit Bishop of the New York Romanists, was +rewarded by Pope Pius 9th, with an Archbishop's mitre, for his great, +zeal and success, in removing God's Holy Bible from thirty-eight public +schools in New York, and for procuring a papal school committee, to +examine every book in the hands of American children in the public +schools, that every passage of truth, in those books of history +unpalatable to the pope might be blotted out." Has America then nothing +to do with Romanism? + +But another gentleman exclaims, "What if Romanism be on the increase in +the United States! Is not their religion as dear to them, as ours is +to us?" To this the Rev. M. J. Gonsalves would reply as follows. "The +American people have been deceived, in believing THAT POPERY WAS A +RELIGION, not a very good one to be sure, but some kind of one. This has +been their great mistake. We might as well call the Archbishop of the +fallen angels, and his crew, a religious body of intelligent beings, +because they believe in an Almighty God, and tremble, as to call the man +of sin and his Jesuits, a body of religious saints. The tree is known +by its fruit, such as 'love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, +goodness, meekness, faith, temperance, brotherly kindness;' and where +the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty, Christian liberty, giving +to God and man their due unasked. Now we ask, what kind of fruit does +the tree of Popery bear, in any country, that it should claim homage, +and respect, as a good religion?" + +Such is the language of one who knew so well what popery was, that he +fled from it as from a hell upon earth. + +In his further remarks upon the horrors of convent life in the United +States, he fully confirms the statements in the foregoing narrative. He +says, "It is time that American gentlemen, who are so much occupied +in business, should think of the dangers of the confessional, and the +miseries endured by innocent, duped, American, imprisoned females in +this free country; and remember that these American ladies who have been +duped and enticed by Jesuitical intrigue and craft, into their female +convents, have no means of deliverance; they cannot write a letter to a +friend without the consent and inspection of the Mother Abbess, who +is always and invariably a female tyrant, a creature in the pay of the +Bishop, and dependent upon the Bishop for her despotic office of power. +The poor, unfortunate, imprisoned American female has no means of +redress in her power. She cannot communicate her story of wrong and +suffering to any living being beyond the walls of her prison. She may +have a father, a mother, a dear brother, or a sister, who, if they knew +one-sixteenth part of her wrongs and sufferings, would fly at once to +see her and sympathize with her in her anguish. But the Jesuit confessor +attached to the prison is ever on the alert. Those ladies who appear the +most unhappy, and unreconciled to their prison, are compelled to attend +the confessional every day; and thus the artful Jesuit, by a thousand +cross questions, is made to understand perfectly the state of their +minds. The Lady Porter, or door-keeper and jailor, is always a creature +of the priest's, and a great favorite with the Mother Abbess. Should any +friends call to see an unhappy nun who is utterly unreconciled to her +fate, the Lady Porter is instructed to inform those relatives that the +dear nun they want to see so much, is so perfectly happy, and given up +to heavenly meditations, that she cannot be persuaded to see an earthly +relative. At the same time the Mother Abbess dismisses the relatives +with a very sorrowful countenance, and regrets very much, in appearance, +their disappointment. But the unhappy nun is never informed that her +friends or relatives have called to inquire after her welfare. How +amazing, that government should allow such prisons in the name of +religion!" + + +CONVENT OF THE CAPUCHINS IN SANTIAGO + +In a late number of "The American and Foreign Christian Union," we find +the following account of conventual life from a report of a Missionary +in Chile, South America. + +"Now, my brother, let me give you an account related to me by a most +worthy English family, most of the members of which have grown up in the +country, confirmed also by common report, of the Convent of Capuchins, +in Santiago. + +"The number of inmates is limited to thirty-two young ladies. The +admittance fee is $2000. When the nun enters she is dressed like a +bride, in the most costly material that wealth can command. There, +beside the altar of consecration, she devotes herself in the most +solemn, manner to a life of celibacy and mortification of the flesh +and spirit, with the deluded hope that her works will merit a brighter +mansion in the realms above. + +"The forms of consecration being completed, she begins to cast off +her rich veil, costly vestments, all her splendid diamonds and +brilliants--which, in many instances, have cost, perhaps, from ten to +fifteen, or even twenty thousand dollars. Then her beautiful locks are +submitted to the tonsure; and to signify her deadness forever to the +world, she is clothed in a dress of coarse grey cloth, called serge, in +which she is to pass the miserable remnant of her days. The dark sombre +walls of her prison she can sever pass, and its iron-bound doors are +shut forever upon their new, youthful, and sensitive occupant. Rarely, +if ever, is she permitted to speak, and NEVER, NEVER, to see her friends +or The loved ones of home--to enjoy the embraces of a fond mother, or +devoted father, or the smiles of fraternal or sisterly affection. If +ever allowed to speak at all, it is through iron bars where she cannot +be seen, and in the presence of the abbess, to see that no complaint +escapes her lips. However much her bosom may swell with anxiety at the +sound of voices which were once music to her soul, and she may long to +pour out her cries and tears to those who once soothed every sorrow of +her heart; yet not a murmur must be uttered. The soul must suffer +its own sorrows solitary and alone, with none to sympathize, or grant +relief, and none to listen to its moans but the cold gloomy walls of her +tomb. No, no, not even the Gospel of Jesus Christ, that great alleviator +of all the sorrows of the heart, is allowed an entrance there. + +"Nor is this all. Besides being condemned to a meagre, insufficient +and unwholesome diet which they themselves must cook, the nuns are +not allowed to speak much with each other, except to say, 'Que morir +tenemos, 'we are to die,' or 'we must die,' and to reply, 'Ya los +sabemos,' 'we know it,' or 'already we know it' + +"They pass most of their time in small lonely cells, where they sleep in +a narrow place dug out in the ground, in the shape of a coffin, without +bed of any kind, except a piece of coarse serge spread down; and their +daily dress is their only covering. SLEEP! Did I say? Alas! 'Tired +nature's sweet restorer, balmy sleep, no more with his downy pinions +lights on his unsullied with a tear:' FOR EVERY HOUR OF THE TWENTY-FOUR +they are aroused by the bell to perform their 'Ave Maria's,' count their +rosaries, and such other blind devotions as may be imposed. Thus they +drag out a miserable existence, and when death calls the spirit to its +last account, the other nuns dig the grave with their own hands, within +the walls of the convent, and so perform the obsequies of their departed +sister. + +"Thus, I have briefly given you not fiction! but a faithful narrative +of facts in regard to conventual life, and an establishment marked by +almost every form of sin, and yet making pretence of 'perfecting the +saints,' by the free and gentle influences of the gospel of Christ. + +"Query 1st. What is done with all the money? + +"2d. What is done with the rich vestments and jewels? + +"3d. Where do the priests get all their brilliants to perform high mass +and adorn their processions? + +"4th. Where does all the hair of the saints come from, which is sold in +lockets for high prices as sure preventives of evil? + +"5th. Whose grave has been plundered to obtain RELICS to sell to the +ignorant. + +"6th. Where does the Romish Church obtain her SURPLUS RIGHTEOUSNESS TO +SELL TO THE needy, and not give it like our blessed Lord, 'without money +and without price?' + +"7th. Who is responsible for the FANATICISM that induces a young female +to incarcerate herself? + +"8th. Where is the authority in reason, in revelation, for such a life? + +"9th. What is the average length of life? + +"10th. How many die insane? + +"A young lady lately cast herself from the tower, and was dashed in +pieces, being led to do it, doubtless, in desperation. The convents of +this city, of the same order, require the same entrance fee, $2000. Of +course, none but the comparatively rich can avail themselves of this +perfection of godliness. + +"Who will say that this mode of life has not been invented in order to +cut short life as rapidly as possible, that the $2000, with all the rich +diamonds upon initiation, may be repeated as frequently as possible? + +"O! how true it is, that Romanism is the same merciless, cruel, +diabolical organisation, wherever it can fully develop itself, in +all lands. How truly is it denominated by the pen of inspiration the +'MYSTERY OF INIQUITY,' especially that part of it relating to these +secret institutions, and the whole order of the Jesuits." + +The editor of the "Christian Union", in his remarks on the above, says, +"Already the fair face of our country is disfigured by the existence +here and there of conventual establishments. At present they do not +show the hideous features which they, at least in some cases, assume in +countries where papal influence and authority are supreme. The genius of +our government and institutions necessarily exerts a restraining power, +which holds them from excesses to which, otherwise, they might run. But +they constitute a part of a system which is strongly at variance with +the interests of humanity, and merely wait the occurrence of favorable +circumstances to visit upon our land all the horrors which they have +inflicted elsewhere. + +"How many conventual establishments there are now in the nation, few +Protestants, it is believed, know. And how many young females, guilty of +no crime against society, and condemned by no law of the land, are shut +up in their walls and doomed to a life which they did not anticipate +when entering them, a life which is more dreadful to them than death, +very few of the millions of our citizens conceive. The majority of our +people have slept over the whole subject, and the indifference thus +manifested has emboldened the priests to posh forward the extension +of the system, and the workmen are now busy in various places in +the construction of additional establishments. But such facts as are +revealed in this article, from the pen of our missionary, in connection +with things that are occurring around us, show that no time should be +lost in examining this whole subject of convents and monasteries, and in +legislating rightly about them." + +Again, when speaking of papal convents in the United States, the same +talented writer observes, "The time has fully come when Protestants +should lay aside their apathy and too long-cherished indifference in +respect to the movements of Rome in this land. It is time for them to +call to mind the testimony of their fathers, their bitter experiences +from the papal See, and to take effective measures to protect the +inheritance bequeathed to them, that they may hand it down to their +children free from corruption, as pure and as valuable as when they +received it. They should remember that Rome claims never to change, that +what she was in Europe when in the zenith of her power, she will be here +when fairly installed, and has ability to enforce her commands. + +"Her numbers now on our soil, her nearly two thousand priests moving +about everywhere, her colleges and printing-presses, her schools and +convents, and enormous amounts of property held by her bishops, have +served as an occasion to draw out something of her spirit, and to show +that she is ARROGANT AND ABUSIVE TO THE EXTENT OF HER POWER. + +"Scarcely a newspaper issues from her press, but is loaded with abuse of +Protestants and of their religion, and at every available point assaults +are made upon their institutions and laws; and Rome and her institutions +and interests are crowded into notice, and special privileges are loudly +clamored for. + +"All Protestants, therefore, of every name, and of every religious and +political creed, we repeat it, who do not desire to ignore the past, and +to renounce all care or concern for the future, as to their children and +children's children, should lose no time in informing themselves of +the state of things around them in regard to the papacy and its +institutions. They should without delay devote their efforts and +influence to the protection of the country against those Popish +establishments and their usages which have been set up among us without +the authority of law, and under whose crushing weight some of the +nations of Europe have staggered and reeled for centuries, and have now +but little of their former power and glory remaining, and under which +Mexico, just upon our borders, has sunk manifestly beyond the power of +recovery. + +"Let each individual seek to awaken an interest in this matter in +the mind of his neighbor. And if there be papal establishments in +the neighborhood under the names of 'schools,' 'retreats', 'religions +communities,' or any other designation, which are at variance with, or +are not conformed to, the laws of the commonwealth in which they are +situated, let memorials be prepared and signed by the citizens, and +forwarded immediately to the legislature, praying that they may be +subjected to examination, and required to conform to the laws by which +all Protestant institutions of a public nature are governed. + +"Let us exclude from our national territory all irresponsible +institutions. Let us seek to maintain a government of law, and insist +upon the equality of all classes before it." + +In closing these extracts, we beg leave to express ourselves in the +words of the Rev. Dr. Sunderland, of Washington city, in a sermon +delivered before the American and Foreign Christian Union, at its +anniversary in May, 1856. + +"But new it is asked, 'Why all this tirade against Roman Catholics?' We +repel the implication. It is not against the unhappy millions that are +ground down under the iron heel of that enormous despotism. They are of +the common humanity, our brethren and kinsmen, according to the flesh. +They need the same light instruction and salvation that we need. Like +ourselves they need the one God, the one mediator between God and man, +the man Christ Jesus; and from the heart we love and pity them. We would +grant them all the privileges which we claim to ourselves. We can have +no animosity towards them as men and candidates with ourselves for the +coming judgment. But it is the system under which they are born, and +live, and die, I repeat, which we denounce, and when we shall cease to +oppose it, then let our right hand forget her cunning, and our tongue +cleave to the roof of our mouth. What is it but a dark and terrible +power on earth before which so many horrible memories start up? Why, +sir, look at it! We drag the bones of the grim behemoth out to view, for +we would not have the world forget his ugliness nor the terror he has +inspired. 'A tirade against Romanism,' is it? O sir, we remember +the persecutions of Justinian; we remember the days of the Spanish +Inquisition; we remember the reign of 'the Bloody Mary;' we remember +the revocation of the Edict of Nantes; we remember St. Bartholomew; +we remember the murdered Covenanters, Huguenots, and Piedmontese; we +remember the noble martyrs dying for the testimony of the faith along +the ancient Rhine; we remember the later wrath which pursued the +islanders of Madeira, till some of them sought refuge upon these +shores; we remember the Madiai, and we know how the beast ever seeks to +propagate his power, by force where he can, by deception where he must. +And when we remember these things, we must protest against the further +vigor and prosperity of this grand Babylon of all. Take it, then, tirade +and all, for so ye must, ye ministers of Rome, sodden with the fumes of +that great deep of abominations! The voice of the Protestant shall never +be hushed; the spirit of Reformation shall never sleep. O, lands of +Farel and of Calvin, of Zwingle and of Luther! O countries where the +trumpet first sounded, marshalling the people to this fearful contest! +We have heard the blast rolling still louder down the path of three +hundred years, and in our solid muster-march we come, the children +of the tenth generation. We come a growing phalanx, not with carnal +weapons, but with the armor of the gospel, and wielding the sword of +truth on the right hand and on the left, we say that ANTICHRIST MUST +FALL. Hear it, ye witnesses, and mark the word; by the majesty of the +coming kingdom of Jesus, and by the eternal purpose of Jehovah, THIS +ANTICHRIST MUST FALL." + + + + +END + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Life in the Grey Nunnery at Montreal, by +Sarah J Richardson + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY *** + +***** This file should be named 5734.txt or 5734.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/5/7/3/5734/ + +Produced by Gardner Buchanan with help from Charles Franks +and Distributed Proofers + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Life in the Grey Nunnery at Montreal + +Author: Sarah J Richardson + +Release Date: May, 2004 [EBook #5734] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on August 18, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY *** + + + + +This etext was produced by Gardner Buchanan with help from +Charles Franks and Distributed Proofers. + + + + + + +A brief note about the Project Gutenberg edition of Life +in the Grey Nunnery at Montreal. + +Life in the Grey Nunnery was first published in Boston, +in 1857 by Edward P. Hood, who was credited as the book's +editor. It is likely that this account is by Sarah J. +Richardson "as told to" Edward Hood, though it may in +fact be completely fictional. It is clearly an +anti-Catholic book, an example of the genre of fiction +referred to as "the convent horror story." Anti-Catholic +sentiments were common in the United States during the +middle part of the 1800s probably directed at the relatively +large number of Catholic immigrants arriving from Germany, +and particularly Ireland during this period. These +sentiments resulted in riots and the burning of churches, +including the destruction by a mob of the Ursuline convent +and girl's school in Charlestown Massachusetts. During +this period a powerful nationalist political party the +"Know Nothings" also emerged, and won a number of +influential positions in the 1850s, particularly in New +England. They succeeded in creating legislation hostile +to the Catholic church, barring Catholics from various +positions and requiring Catholic institutions to submit +to hostile "inspections." The interested reader is +encouraged to use a literature search for the terms MARIA +MONK or KNOW NOTHINGS to learn more about this genre of +literature and the social circumstances in which it was +created. + + + + +LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY AT MONTREAL + +An authentic narrative of the horrors, mysteries, +and cruelties of convent life by Sarah J. Richardson, +an escaped nun. + +Edited by Edward P. Hood + + + + +TABLE OF CONTENTS + +CHAPTER I PARENTAGE--FATHER'S MARRIAGE +CHAPTER II THE WHITE NUNNERY +CHAPTER III THE NURSERY +CHAPTER IV A SLAVE FOR LIFE +CHAPTER V CEREMONY OF CONFIRMATION +CHAPTER VI THE GREY NUNNERY +CHAPTER VII ORPHAN'S HOME +CHAPTER VIII CONFESSION AND SORROW OF NO AVAIL +CHAPTER IX ALONE WITH THE DEAD +CHAPTER X THE SICK NUN +CHAPTER XI THE JOY OF FREEDOM +CHAPTER XII STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND +CHAPTER XIII LANDLADY'S STORY CONTINUED +CHAPTER XIV THE TWO SISTERS +CHAPTER XV CHOICE OF PUNISHMENTS +CHAPTER XVI HORRORS OF STARVATION +CHAPTER XVII THE TORTURE ROOM +CHAPTER XVIII RETURN TO THE NUNNERY +CHAPTER XIX SICKNESS AND DEATH OF A SUPERIOR +CHAPTER XX STUDENTS AT THE ACADEMY +CHAPTER XXI SECOND ESCAPE FROM THE NUNNERY +CHAPTER XXII LONELY MIDNIGHT WALK +CHAPTER XXIII FLIGHT AND RECAPTURE +CHAPTER XXIV RESOLVES TO ESCAPE +CHAPTER XXV EVENTFUL JOURNEY +CHAPTER XXVI CONCLUSION + +APPENDIX I ABSURDITIES OF ROMANISTS +APPENDIX II CRUELTY OF ROMANISTS +APPENDIX III INQUISITION OF GOA--IMPRISONMENT OF + M. DELLON, 1673 +APPENDIX IV INQUISITION OF GOA, CONCLUDED +APPENDIX V INQUISITION AT MACERATA, ITALY +APPENDIX VI ROMANISM OF THE PRESENT DAY +APPENDIX VII NARRATIVE OP SIGNORINA FLORIENCIA + D' ROMANI + + + + +LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY. + +CHAPTER I. + +PARENTAGE.--FATHER'S MARRIAGE. + +I was born at St. John's, New Brunswick, in the year +1835. My father was from the city of Dublin, Ireland, +where he spent his youth, and received an education in +accordance with the strictest rules of Roman Catholic +faith and practice. Early manhood, however, found him +dissatisfied with his native country, longing for other +scenes and distant climes. He therefore left Ireland, +and came to Quebec. + +Here he soon became acquainted with Capt. Willard, a +wealthy English gentleman, who, finding him a stranger +in a strange land, kindly opened his door, and gave him +employment and a home. Little did he think that in so +doing he was warming in his bosom a viper whose poisonous +fangs would, ere long, fasten on his very heart-strings, +and bring down his grey hairs with sorrow to the grave. +His only child was a lovely daughter of fourteen. From +what I have heard of her, I think she must have been very +beautiful in person, quiet, gentle and unassuming in her +deportment, and her disposition amiable and affectionate. +She was exceedingly romantic, and her mental powers were +almost, if not entirely uncultivated; still, she possessed +sufficient strength of character to enable her to form +a deep, ardent, and permanent attachment. + +The young stranger gazed upon her with admiring eyes, +and soon began to whisper in her ear the flattering tale +of love. This, of course, her parents could not approve. +What! give their darling to a stranger? Never, no, never. +What could they do without her? Grieved that their kindness +should have been thus returned, they bade him go his way, +and leave their child in peace. He did go, but like a +thief he returned. In the darkness of midnight he stole +to her chamber, and bore away from the home of her +childhood, "a father's joy, a mother's pride." + +Who can tell the anguish of their souls when they entered +that deserted chamber? How desolate their lonely +hearthstone! How dark the home where her presence had +scattered rainbow hues! A terrible blow it was to Capt. +Willard; a very bitter thing thus to have his cherished +plans frustrated, his brightest hopes destroyed; to see +the very sun of his existence go down at midday in clouds +and darkness. Yes, to the stern father this sad event +brought bitter, bitter grief. But to the mother--that +tender, affectionate mother, it was death. Yea, more than +death, for reason, at the first shock, reeled and tottered +on its throne; then, as days and weeks passed by, and +still the loved one did not return, when every effort to +find her had been made in vain, then, the dread certainty +settled down upon her soul that her child was lost to +her forever. Hope, gave place to despair, and she became, +from that time, a raving maniac. At length death came +to her relief, and her husband was left alone. + +Six weary years passed over the lonely man, and then he +rejoiced in the intelligence that his child was still +living with her husband at St. John's. He immediately +wrote to her imploring her to return to her old home, +and with the light of her presence dispel the gloom of +his dwelling. Accordingly she left St. John's, and in +company with her husband returned to her father. I was +then about a year and a half old, but I have so often +heard these facts related by my father and grandfather, +they are indelibly impressed on my mind, and will never +be erased from my memory. + +My mother now thought her trouble at an end, that in +future she should enjoy the happiness she once anticipated. +But, alas for all human prospects! Ere one short month +had passed, difficulties arose in consequence of the +difference in their religious opinions. Capt. Willard +was a firm Protestant, while my father was quite as firm +in his belief of the principles of the Roman Catholics. +"Can two walk together except they be agreed?" They parted +in anger, and my father again became a wanderer, leaving +his wife and child with his father-in-law. But my mother +was a faithful, devoted wife. Her husband was her heart's +chosen idol whom she loved too well to think of being +separated from. She therefore left her father's house, +with all its luxuries and enjoyments, to follow the +fortunes of one, who was certainly unworthy of the pure +affection thus lavished upon him. As her health had been +delicate for the last two years, she concluded to leave +me with her father for a short time, intending to send +for me, as soon as she was in a situation to take care +of me. But this was not to be. Death called her away, +and I saw my mother no more till her corpse was brought +back, and buried in her father's garden. + +Two years I remained with my grandfather, and from him, +I received the most affectionate and devoted attention. +My father at length opened a saloon, for the sale of +porter, and hired a black woman to do his work. He then +came for me. My grandfather entreated that I might be +allowed to remain. Well he knew that my father was not +the man to be entrusted with the care of a child--that +a Porter House was no place for me, for he was quite sure +that stronger liquors than porter were there drank and +sold. In fact, it was said, that my father was himself +a living evidence of this. But it is of a parent I am +speaking, and, whatever failings the world may have seen +in him, to me he was a kind and tender father. The years +I spent with him were the happiest of my life. On memory's +page they stand out in bold relief, strikingly contrasting +with the wretchedness of my after life. And though I +cannot forget that his own rash act brought this +wretchedness upon me, still, I believe his motives were +good. I know that he loved me, and every remembrance of +his kindness, and those few bright days of childhood, I +have carefully cherished as a sacred thing. He did not, +however, succeed in the business he had undertaken, but +lost his property and was at length compelled to give up +his saloon. + +I was then placed in a Roman Catholic family, where he +often visited, and ever appeared to feel for me the most +devoted attachment. One day he came to see me in a state +of partial intoxication. I did not then know why his +face was so red, and his breath so offensive, but I now +know that he was under the influence of ardent spirits. +The woman with whom I boarded seeing his condition, and +being a good Catholic, resolved to make the most of the +occasion for the benefit of the nunnery. She therefore +said to him, "You are not capable of bringing up that +child; why don't you give her to Priest Dow?"--"Will he +take her?" asked my father. "Yes," she replied, "he will +put her into the nunnery, and the nuns will take better +care of her than you can." "On what condition will they +take her?" he asked. "Give the priest one hundred dollars," +replied the artful woman, "and he will take good care of +her as long as she lives." + +This seemed a very plausible story; but I am sure my +father did not realize what he was doing. Had he waited +for a little reflection, he would never have consented +to such an arrangement, and my fate would have been quite +different. But as it was, he immediately sent for the +priest, and gave me to him, to be provided for, as his +own child, until I was of age. I was then to be allowed +to go out into the world if I chose. To this, Priest Dow +consented, in consideration of one hundred dollars, which +he received, together with a good bed and bedding. My +mother's gold ear-rings were also entrusted to his care, +until I should be old enough to wear them. But I never +saw them again. Though I was at that time but six years +old, I remember perfectly, all that passed upon that +memorable occasion. I did not then comprehend the full +meaning of what was said, but I understood enough to fill +my heart with sorrow and apprehension. + +When their bargain was completed, Priest Dow called me +to him, saying, with a smile, "You are a stubborn little +girl, I guess, a little naughty, sometimes, are you not?" +Surprised and alarmed, I replied, "No, sir." He then took +hold of my hair, which was rather short, drew it back +from my forehead with a force that brought the tears to +my eyes, and pressing his hand heavily on my head, he +again asked if I was not sometimes a little wilful and +disobedient. I was so much frightened at this, I turned +to my father, and with tears and sobs entreated him not +to send me away with that man, but allow me to stay at +home with him. He drew me to his bosom, wiped away my +tears, and sought to quiet my fears by assuring me that +I would have a good and pleasant home; that the nuns +would take better care of me than he could; and that he +would often come to see me. Thus, by the aid of flattery +on one side, and sugarplums on the other, they persuaded +me at last to accompany the priest to the White Nunnery, +St. Paul's street, Quebec. + +I was too young to realize the sad change in my situation, +or to anticipate the trials and privations that awaited +me. But I was deeply grieved thus to leave my father, my +only real friend, my mother being dead, and my grandfather +a heretic, whom I had been taught to regard with the +utmost abhorrence. Little, however, did I think that this +was a last farewell. But such it was. Though he had +promised to come often to see me, I never saw my father +again; never even heard from him; and now, I do not know +whether he is dead or alive. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE WHITE NUNNERY. + +On my arrival at the nunnery, I was placed under the care +of a lady whom they called a Superior. She took me into +a room alone, and told me that the priest would come to +me in the morning to hear confession, and I must confess +to him all my sins. "What are sins?" I asked, and, "How +shall I confess? I don't know what it means." "Don't know +what sins are!" she exclaimed in great astonishment "Why, +child, I am surprised that you should be so ignorant! +Where have you lived all your days?" With all the simplicity +of childhood, I replied, "With my father; and once I +lived with my grandfather; but they didn't tell me how +to confess." "Well," said she, "you must tell the priest +all your wicked thoughts, words, and actions." "What is +wicked?" I innocently asked. "If you have ever told an +untruth;" she replied, "or taken what did not belong to +you, or been in any way naughty, disobedient, or unkind; +if you have been angry, or quarrelled with your playmates, +that was wicked, and you must tell the priest all about +it If you try to conceal, or keep back anything, the +priest will know it and punish you. You cannot deceive +him if you try, for he knows all you do, or say, or even +think; and if you attempt it, you'll only get yourself +into trouble. But if you are resolved to be a good girl, +kind, gentle, frank, sincere, and obedient, the priest +will love you, and be kind to you." + +When I was conducted to my room, at bedtime, I rejoiced +to find in it several little cot beds, occupied by little +girls about my own age, who had been, like myself, +consigned to the tender mercies of priests and nuns. I +thought if we must live in that great gloomy house, which +even to my childish imagination seemed so much like a +prison, we could in some degree dispel our loneliness +and mitigate our sorrows, by companionship and sympathy. +But I was soon made to know that even this small comfort +would not be allowed us, for the Superior, as she assisted +me to bed, told me that I must not speak, or groan, or +turn upon my side, or move in any way; for if I made the +least noise or disturbance, I would be severely punished. +She assured me that if we disobeyed in the least particular, +she would know it, even if she was not present, and deal +with us accordingly. She said that when the clock struck +twelve, the bell would ring for prayers; that we must +then rise, and kneel with our heads bowed upon the bed, +and repeat the prayer she taught us. When, at length, +she left us, locking the door after her, I was so +frightened, I did not dare to sleep, lest I should move, +or fail to awake at the proper time. + +Slowly passed the hours of that long and weary night, +while I lay, waiting the ringing of the bell, or thinking +upon the past with deep regret. The most fearful visions +haunted my brain, and fears of future punishment filled +my mind. How could I hope to escape it, when they were +so very strict, and able to read my most secret thoughts? +What would I not have given could I have been again +restored to my father? True he was intemperate, but at +that time I thought not of this; I only knew that he was +always kind to me, that he never refused what I asked of +him. I sometimes think, even now, that if he had not so +cruelly thrust me from him, I might have been able to +win him from his cups and evil course of life. But this +was not to be. Having given himself up to the demon of +intemperance, it is not surprising that he should have +given away his only child; that he should have placed +her in the hands of those who proved utterly unworthy of +the trust. But however indignant I may at times have felt +towards him, for the one great wrong he committed against +me, still I do not believe he would ever have done it +but for the influence of ardent spirits. Moreover, I do +not suppose that he had the least idea what kind of a +place it was. He wished, doubtless, that his child might +be well educated; that she might be shielded from the +many trials and temptations that cluster around the +footsteps of the young and inexperienced, in the midst +of a cold and heartless world. From these evils the +nunnery, he thought, would be a secure retreat, for there +science, religion, and philanthropy, PROFESSEDLY, go hand +in hand. Like many other deluded parents, he thought that +"Holiness to the Lord" was inscribed upon those walls, +and that nothing which could pervert or defile the youthful +mind, was permitted to enter there. With these views and +feelings, he was undoubtedly sincere when he told me, "I +would have a good home, and the nuns would take better +care of me than he could." Rash his decision certainly +was, cruel it proved to be; but I shall ever give him +credit for good intentions. + +At length the bell rang, and all the girls immediately +left their beds, and placed themselves upon their knees. +I followed their example, but I had scarcely time to +kneel by my bed, when the Superior came into the room +with a light in her hand, and attended by a priest. He +came to me, opened a book, and told me to cross myself. +This ceremony he instructed me to perform in the following +manner: the right hand is placed upon the forehead, and +drawn down to the breast; then across the breast from +left to right. The Superior then told me to say the prayer +called "Hail Mary!" I attempted to do so, but failed, +for, though I had often repeated it after my father, I +could not say it correctly alone. She then bade me join +my hands, and repeat it after her. "Hail Mary! Full of +grace! The Lord be with thee! Blessed art thou among +women! Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus! Mother +of God! Pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our +death, Amen." + +"Now," said the Superior, as I rose from my knees, "you +must learn every word of that prayer before to-morrow +night, or go without your supper." I tried my best to +remember it, but with so little instruction, for she +repeated it to me but once, I found it quite impossible +the next night to say it correctly. Of course, I was +compelled to go without my supper. This may seem a light +punishment to those who have enough to eat--who sit down +to a full table, and satisfy their appetite three times +per day, but to a nun, who is allowed only enough to +sustain life, it is quite a different thing. And especially +to a child, this mode of punishment is more severe, and +harder to bear than almost any other. I thought I would +take good care not to be punished in that way again; but +I little knew what was before me. + +Before the Superior left us she assisted me into bed, +and bade me be very still until the second bell in the +morning. Then, I must rise and dress as quickly as +possible, and go to her room. Quietness, she enjoined +upon me as a virtue, while the least noise, or disturbance +of any kind, would be punished as a crime. She said I +must walk very softly indeed along the halls, and close +the doors so carefully that not a sound could be heard. +After giving me these first instructions in convent life, +she left me, and I was allowed to sleep the rest of the +night. + +The next morning, I awoke at the ringing of the first +bell, but I did not dare to stir until the second bell, +when the other little girls arose in great haste. I then +dressed as quickly as possible, but not a word was spoken +--not a thought, and scarcely a look exchanged. I was +truly "alone amid a crowd," and I felt the utter loneliness +of my situation most keenly. Yet I saw very clearly that +there was but one course for me to pursue, and that was, +to obey in all things; to have no will of my own, and +thus, if possible, escape punishment. But it was hard, +very hard for me to bring my mind to this. I had been +the idolized child of affection too long to submit readily +and patiently to the privations I was now forced to +endure. Hitherto my will had been law. I had naturally +an imperious, violent temper, which I had never been +taught to govern. Instead of this, my appetites were +pampered, my passions indulged, and every desire gratified +as far as possible. Until that last sad parting, I hardly +knew what it was to have a request refused; and now, to +experience such a change--such a sudden transition from +the most liberal indulgence to the most cruel and rigorous +self-denial--Oh, it was a severe trial to my independent +spirit to submit to it. Yet, submit I must, for I had +learned, even then, that my newly appointed guardians +were not to be trifled with. Henceforth, OBEDIENCE must +be my motto. To every command, however cruel and unjust, +I must yield a blind, passive, and unquestioning obedience. + +I dressed as quickly as possible, and hastened down to +the Superior. As I passed through the hall, I thought I +would be very careful to step softly, but in my haste I +forgot what she said about closing the door, and it came +together with a loud crash. On entering the room, I found +the Superior waiting for me; in her hand she held a stick +about a foot long, to the end of which was attached nine +leather strings, some twelve or fifteen inches long, and +about the size of a man's little finger. She bade me come +to her, in a voice so cold and stern it sent a thrill of +terror through my frame, and I trembled with the +apprehension of some impending evil. I had no idea that +she was about to punish me, for I was not aware that I +had done anything to deserve it; but her looks frightened +me, and I feared,--I know not what. She took hold of my +arm, and without saying a word, gave me ten or twelve +strokes over the head and shoulders with this miniature +cat-o'-nine-tails. Truly, with her, it was "a word and +a blow, and the blow came first." Wherever the strings +chanced to fall upon the bare flesh, they raised the +skin, as though a hot iron had been applied to it. In +some places they took off the skin entirely, and left +the flesh raw, and quivering with the stinging pain. I +could not think at first what I had done to deserve this +severe punishment, nor did she condescend to enlighten +me. But when I began to cry, and beg to go to my father, +she sternly bade me stop crying at once, for I could not +go to my father. I must stay there, she said, and learn +to remember all her commands and obey then. She then +taught me the following verse: + + I am a little nun, + The sisters I will mind; + When I am pretty and learn, + Then they will use me kind. + I must not be so noisy + When I go about the house, + I'll close the doors so softly + They'll think I am a mouse. + +This verse I repeated until I could say it correctly. +I was then taken to the breakfast-room, where I was +directed to kneel before the crucifix, and say my prayers, +which I repeated after the Superior. I was then seated +at the table, and directed to hold my head down, and fix +my eyes upon my plate. I must not look at any one, or +gaze about the room; but sit still, and quietly eat what +was given me. I had upon my plate, one thin slice of +wheat bread, a bit of potato, and a very small cup of +milk. This was my stated allowance, and I could have no +more, however hungry I might be. The same quantity was +given me every meal, when in usual health, until I was +ten years of age. On fast days, no food whatever was +allowed; and we always fasted for three meals before +receiving the sacrament. This ceremony was observed every +third day, therefore we were obliged to fast about +one-third of the time. Yet, however long the fast might +be, my allowance of food was never increased. + +After breakfast the Superior took me to Priest Dow for +confession. He kept me with him all day, allowing me +neither food nor drink; nor did he permit me to break my +fast until four o'clock the next day. I then received +what they call the sacrament, for the first time. + +To prepare for this, I was clad in a white dress and +cape, and a white cap on my head. I was then led to the +chapel, and passing up the aisle, knelt before the altar. +Priest Dow then came and stood before me, and taking from +a wine-glass a small thin wafer, he placed it upon my +tongue, at the same time repeating some Latin words, +which, the Superior afterwards told me, mean in English, +"The body and blood of Christ." I was taught to believe +that I held in my mouth the real body and blood of Christ. +I was also told that if I swallowed the wafer before it +had melted on my tongue, IT WOULD CHOKE ME TO DEATH; and +if I indulged an evil thought while I held it in my mouth +I SHOULD FALL INTO A POOL OF BLOOD. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +THE NURSERY. + +While in the White Nunnery, I spent the most of my time +in the nursery. But the name gives one no idea of the +place. The freedom and careless gayety, so characteristic +of other nurseries, had no place in this. No cheerful +conversation, no juvenile merriment, or pleasureable +excitement of any kind, were ever allowed. A merry laugh, +on the contrary, a witty jest, or a sly practical joke, +would have been punished as the most heinous offence. +Here as elsewhere in the establishment, the strictest +rules of silence and obedience were rigidly enforced. +There were twenty little girls in the room with me, but +we were never permitted to speak to each other, nor to +any one except a priest or a Superior. When directly +addressed by either of them we were allowed to answer; +but we might never ask a question, or make a remark, or +in any way, either by looks, words, or signs, hold +communication with each other. Whenever we did so, it +was at the risk of being discovered and severely punished. +Yet this did not repress the desire for conversation; it +only made us more cautious, artful, and deceptive. The +only recreation allowed us was fifteen minutes' exercise +in the yard every morning and evening. We might then +amuse ourselves as we chose, but were required to spend +the whole time in some kind of active exercise; if one +of our number ventured to sit still, we were all punished +the next day by being kept in the house. + +It was my business, while in the nursery, to dust all +the furniture and the floor, with a flannel mop, made +and kept for this purpose. The floors were all painted +and varnished, and very easily kept clean. + +Two hours and a half each day we spent with a priest, +whom we were taught to call Father Darity (I do not know +as I spell this and other names correctly, but I give it +to the reader as it sounded to my ear). He appeared to +take great pleasure in learning us to repeat the prayers +and catechism required by Priest Dow. He also gave us a +variety of instructions in other things, enjoining in +particular the most absolute obedience and perfect silence. +He assured us that if we dared to disobey him in the +least particular, he should know it, even if he was not +present with us at the time. He said he knew all our +thoughts, words, and actions; and if we did not obey, he +should "EAT US WITH A GRAIN OF SALT." + +I presume my reader will smile at this, and exclaim, "How +absurd!" Yes, to you it is absurd; but to the mind of a +child who placed the utmost confidence in his veracity, +it was an evidence that he was invested with supernatural +powers. For myself I believed every word he said, and +nothing would have tempted me to disobey him. Perfect +obedience he considered the highest attainment, and, to +secure this, the greatest of all virtues, no means were +thought too severe. We were frightened and punished in +every possible way. + +But, though Father Darity acted on the one great principle +with the Romanists, that the "end sanctifies the means," +he was in general a much kinder man than Priest Dow. He +urged us on with our catechism as fast as possible, +telling us, as a motive to greater diligence, that the +bishop was soon to visit us, and that we could not be +admitted to his presence until we had our prayers and +catechism perfectly. + +One day, when we were in the yard at play, I told one of +the little girls that I did not like to live there; that +I did not like one of the people in the house; that I +wished to return to my father, and I should tell him so +the first time he came to see me. + +"Then you like to live with your father?" said she. I +told her I did, for then I could do as I pleased, without +the fear of punishment. She said that she did not like +to live there any better than I did. I asked her why she +did not go away, if she disliked to stay. She replied, +"I should like to go away well enough, if I had any +friends to go to; but my father and mother are both dead, +and I have no home but this; so you see I must stay here +if they wish me to; but there is one consolation; if we +are good girls, and try to do right, they will be kind +to us." I made no further remark; but the moment we +returned to the house she told the Superior what I said, +taking good care not to repeat her own expressions, and +leaving the Superior to infer that she had made no reply. + +I saw at once by the stern look that came over the lady's +face that she was very angry; and I would gladly have +recalled those few hasty words had it been in my power +to have done so. She immediately left the room, but soon +returned with Priest Dow. His countenance also indicated +anger, as he took hold of my arm and led me to a darkened +room, in which several candles were burning. + +Here I saw three scenes, which I think must have been +composed of images, pictures, and curtains. I do not +pretend to describe them correctly, I can only tell how +they appeared to me. + +The first was an image of Christ on the cross, with his +arms extended as we usually see them in pictures. On his +right hand was a representation of heaven, and on the +left, of hell. Heaven was made to appear like a bright, +beautiful, and glorious place. A wall of pink color +surrounded it, and in the center was a spring of clear +water. In the midst of this spring stood a tree, bearing +on every limb a lighted candle, and on the top, the image +of Christ and a dove. + +Hell was surrounded by a black wall, within which, there +was also a spring; but the water was very black, and +beside it stood a large black image, with horns on its +head, a long tail, and a large cloven foot. The place +where it stood was in deep shadow, made to resemble, as +neatly as possible, clouds and darkness. The priest led +me up to this fearful object, and placed me on one side +of it, while he stood on the other; but it would turn +away from him towards me, roll up its great eyes, open +its mouth and show its long white tusks. The priest said +it turned from him, because he was a good man, and I was +very wicked. He said that it was the devil, come up from +the bottomless pit to devour me; and if I said such wicked +words again, it would carry me off. I was very much +frightened, for I then thought that all he said was true; +that those images, which I now know were strung on wires +were really what they were made to represent. + +In fact, until I was fifteen years old, I really believed +that the image I then saw was an evil spirit. But since +that time, I have been made to know that the priests +themselves are the only evil spirits about the place. + +Priest Dow then led me back to the nursery, and left me +with the Superior. But he soon came, back, saying he +"knew what I was thinking about; that I had wicked thoughts +about him; thought he was a bad man, and that I wished +to leave him and go to my father;" Now this was all true, +and the fact that he knew it, frightened me accordingly. +It was a sure proof that what Father Darity said was +true. But how could I ever be safe, if they could thus +read the inmost secrets of my soul? I did dislike them +all very much indeed and I could not help it. How then +could I avert the consequences of this deep aversion to +convent life, since it could not be concealed? Was it +possible for me so far to conquer myself, as to love the +persons with whom I lived? How many nights did I lie +awake pondering this question, and resolving to make the +effort. I was, of course, too young to know that it was +only by shrewd guessing, and a general knowledge of human +nature, that he was enabled to tell my thoughts so +correctly. + +"Now," said he, "for indulging these dreadful thoughts, +I shall take you back to the devil, and give you up to +him." I was frightened before; but I have no words to +describe my feelings when he again led me back, and left +me beside the image, saying, as he closed the door, "If +the devil groans three times, and the Lord does not speak, +you must stay here until to-morrow at this time." I +trembled so that I could hardly stand, and when, after +a few moments, a sound like a groan fell upon my ears, +I shrieked in the extremity of terror. + +[Footnote: Cioui, formerly a Benedictine Monk, giving an +account of his imprisonment at Rome, after his conversion +says:-- + +"One evening, after listening to a discourse filled with +dark images of death, I returned to my room, and found +the light set upon the ground. I took it up and approached +the table to place it there, but what was my horror and +consternation at beholding spread out upon it, a whitened +skeleton! Before the reader can comprehend my dismay, it +is necessary he should reflect for a moment on the +peculiarities of childhood, especially in a Romish country, +where children are seldom spoken to except in superstitious +language, whether by their parents or teachers: and +domestics adopt the same style to answer their own +purposes, menacing their disobedient charges with +hobgoblins, phantoms and witches. Such images as these +make a profound impression on tender minds, leaving a +panic terror which the reasoning of after years is often +unable entirely to efface. There can be no doubt but that +this pernicious habit, is the fruit of the noxious plant +fostered in the Vatican. Rising generations must be +brought up in superstitious terror, in order to render +them susceptible to every kind of absurdity; for this +terror is the powerful spring, employed by the priests +and friars, to move at their pleasure families, cities, +provinces, nations. Although in families of the higher +order, this method of alarming infancy is much +discountenanced, nevertheless, it is impossible but that +it should in some degree prevail in the nursery. Nor was +it probable that I should escape this infections malady, +having passed my whole days in an atmosphere, charged +more than any other with that impure miasma priest-craft."] + +Then immediately I heard the question, and it seemed to +come from the figure of Christ, "Will you obey? Will you +leave off sin?" I answered in the affirmative as well as +I could, for the convulsive sobs that shook my frame +almost stopped my utterance. I now know that when the +priest left me, he placed himself, or an assistant, behind +a curtain close to the images, and it was his voice that +I heard. But I was then too young to detect their +treacherous practices and deceitful ways. + +On being taken back to the Superior, I was immediately +attacked with severe illness, and had fits all night. It +seemed to me that I could see that image of the devil +everywhere. If I closed my eyes, I thought I could feel +him on my bed, pressing on my breast, and he was so heavy +I could scarcely breathe. I was very sick, and suffered +much bodily pain, but the tortures of an excited imagination +were greater by far, and harder to bear than any physical +suffering. For long years after, that image haunted my +dreams, and even now I often, in sleep, live over again +the terrors of that fearful scene. I was sick a long +time; how long I do not know; but I became so weak I +could not raise myself in bed, and they had an apparatus +affixed to the wall to raise me with. For several days +I took no nourishment, except a teaspoonful of brandy +and water which was given me as often as I could take it +I continued to have fits every day for more than two +years, nor did I ever entirely recover from the effects +of that fright. Even now, though years have passed away, +a little excitement or a sudden shock, will sometimes +throw me into one of those fits. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +A SLAVE FOR LIFE. + +During this illness I was placed under the care of an +Abbess whom they called St. Bridget. There were many +other Abbesses in the convent, but she was the principal +one, and had the care of all the clothing. If the others +wished for clean clothes, they were obliged to go to her +for them. In that way I saw them all, but did not learn +their names. They approached me and looked at me, but +seldom spoke. This I thought very strange, but I now know +they dared not speak. One day an Abbess came to my bed, +and after standing a few moments with the tears silently +flowing down her cheeks, asked me if I had a mother. I +told her I had not, and I began to weep most bitterly. +I was very weak, and the question recalled to my mind +the time when I shared a father's love, and enjoyed my +liberty. Then, I could go and come as I chose, but now, +a slave for life, I could have no will of my own, I must +go at bidding, and come at command. This, I am well +aware, may seem to some extravagant language; but I use +the right word. I was, literally, a slave; and of all +kinds of slavery, that which exists in a convent is the +worst. I say, THE WORST, because the story of wrong and +outrage which occasionally finds its way to the public +ear, is not generally believed. You pity the poor black +man who bends beneath the scourge of southern bondage, +for the tale comes to you from those who have seen his +tears and heard his groans. But you have no tears, no +prayers, no efforts for the poor helpless nun who toils +and dies beneath the heartless cruelty of an equally +oppressive task-master. No; for her you have no sympathy, +for you do not believe her word. Within those precincts +of cruelty, no visitor is ever admitted. No curious eye +may witness the secrets of their prison-house. +Consequently, there is no one to bear direct testimony +to the truth of her statements. Even now, methinks, I +see your haughty brow contract, and your lip curl with +scorn, as with supreme contempt you throw down these +pages and exclaim, "'Tis all a fiction. Just got up to +make money. No proof that it is true." No proof do you +say? O, that the strong arm of the law would interpose +in our behalf!--that some American Napoleon would come +forth, and break open those prison doors, and drag forth +to the light of day those hidden instruments of torture! +There would then be proof enough to satisfy the most +incredulous, that, so far from being exaggerated, the +half has not been told. Sons of America! Will you not +arise in your might, and demand that these convent doors +be opened, and "the oppressed" allowed to "go free"? Or +if this be denied, sweep from the fair earth, the +black-hearted wretches who dare, in the very face of +heaven, to commit such fearful outrages upon helpless, +suffering humanity? How long--O how long will you suffer +these dens of iniquity to remain unopened? How long permit +this system of priestly cruelty to continue? + +But I am wandering from my story. Would that I might +forever wander from it--that I might at once blot from +memory's page, the fearful recollection that must follow +me to my grave! Yet, painful as it is to rehearse the +past, if I can but awaken your sympathy for other sufferers, +if I can but excite you to efforts for their deliverance, +it is all I ask. I shall have my reward. But to return +to my story. + +The Abbess saw how deeply I was grieved, and immediately +left the room. St. Bridget told me not to cry, for she +would be a mother to me as long as I remained with her, +and she was true to her promise. Another sister, who +sometimes came to my room, I believe was crazy. She would +run up to my bed, put her hand on me, and burst into a +loud and hearty laugh. This she repeated as often as she +came, and I told the Abbess one day, I did wish that +sister would not come to see me, for she acted so strange, +I was afraid of her. She replied, "do not care for her; +she always does just so, but we do not mind her; you must +be careful what you say," she continued, "for if you +speak of her before any of the sisters, they may get you +into trouble." + +When I began to get better, I had a sharp appetite for +food, and was hungry a great part of the time. One of +the sisters used to bring me a piece of bread concealed +under her cape and hide it under my pillow. How she +obtained it, I do not know, unless she saved it from her +own allowance. It was very easy for her to hide it in +this way, for the nuns always walk with one hand under +their cape and the other by the side. Truly, in this +instance, "bread eaten in secret" was "pleasant." Of all +the luxuries I ever tasted, those stolen bits of bread +were the sweetest. + +During my illness I thought a great deal about my father, +and wondered why he did not come to see me, as he had +promised. I used to cry for him in my sleep, and very +often awoke in tears. St. Bridget sought in every possible +way to make me forget him, and the priest would tell me +that I need not think so much about him, for he no longer +cared for me. He said the devil had got him, and I would +never see him again. These cruel words, so far from making +me forget, served to awaken a still greater desire to +see him, and increased my grief because I was denied the +privilege. + +In the room with me, were six other little girls, who +were all sick at the same time, and St. Bridget took care +of us all For two of the little girls, I felt the greatest +sympathy. They were quite young, I think not more than +three years of age, and they grieved continually. They +made no complaint, did not even shed a tear, but they +sobbed all the time, whether asleep or awake. Of their +history, I could learn nothing at that time, except the +fact, that they were taken from their parents for the +good of their souls. I afterwards overheard a conversation +that led me to think that they were heirs to a large +property, which, if they were out of the way, would go +to the church. But it is of what I know, and not what I +think, that I have undertaken to write, and I do know +that the fate of those little girls was hard in the +extreme, whatever might have been the cause of their +being there. Poor little creatures! No wonder their +hearts were broken. Torn from parents and friends while +yet in early childhood--doomed while life is spared, to +be subject to the will of those who know no mercy--who +feel no pity, but consider it a religious duty to crush, +and destroy all the pure affections--all the exquisite +sensibilities of the human soul. Yet to them these hapless +babes must look for all the earthly happiness they could +hope to enjoy. They were taught to obey them in all +things, and consider them their only friends and protectors. +I never saw them after I left that room, but they did +not live long. I was glad they did not, for in the cold +grave their sufferings would be over and they would rest +in peace. + +O, how little do Protestants know the sufferings of a +nun! and truly no one can know them except by personal +experience. One may imagine the most aggravated form of +cruelty, the most heart-rending agonies, yet I do believe +the conception of the most active imagination would fall +far short of the horrible reality. I do not believe there +was one happy individual in that convent, or that any +one there, if I except the lady Superior, knew anything +of enjoyment. Life with them was a continual round of +ceaseless toil and bitter self-denial; while each one +had some secret grief slowly but surely gnawing away the +heart-strings. I have sometimes seen the Abbess sitting +by the bedside of the sick, with her eyes closed, while +the big tears fell unchecked over her pale cheeks. When +I asked her why she wept, she would shake her head, but +never speak. I now know that she dare not speak for fear +of punishment. + +The abbesses in the various parts of this convent are +punished as much as the nuns, if they dare to disobey +the rules of the priests; and if the least of these are +broken in the presence of any one in the house, they will +surely tell of it at confession. In fact, they are +required to do this; and if it is known that one has seen +a rule broken, or a command disobeyed, without reporting +it, a severe punishment is sure to follow. Thus every +individual is a spy upon the rest; and while every failure +is visited with condign punishment, the one who makes +the most reports is so warmly approved, that poor human +nature can hardly resist the temptation to play the +traitor. Friendship cannot exist within the walls of a +convent, for no one can be trusted, even with the most +trifling secret. Whoever ventures to try it is sure to +be betrayed. + +While I was sick Father Darity came often to see me, and +by his kindness succeeded in gaining my affections. I +was a great favorite with him; he always called me his +little girl, and tried in every way to make me contented. +He wished to make me say that I was happy there, that I +liked to live with them as well as with my father. But +I could never be persuaded to say this, for it was not +the truth, and I would not tell a falsehood unless forced +to do so. He said I must be a good girl, and he hoped I +would sometime see better times, but I could never see +my father again, and I must not desire it. He advised +me, however hard it might be, to try and love all who +came into the nunnery, even those who were unkind, who +wished to injure me or wound my feelings. He told me how +Jesus Christ loved his enemies; how he died for them a +cruel death on the cross; how, amid his bitter agonies, +he prayed for them, and with his expiring breath he cried, +"Father, forgive them, they know not what they do." "And +now," said he, "can you do as Jesus Christ did? He has +set you an example, can you not follow it?" "No, sir," +I replied, "I cannot love those who punish me so cruelly, +so unjustly. I cannot love the little girl who reported +what I said in the yard, when she said as bad things as +I did." "But you forget," said he, "that in doing this +she only obeyed the rules of the house. She only did her +duty; if you had done yours, you would have reported +her." "I'll never do that," I exclaimed, emboldened by +his kindness. "It is a bad rule, and--" "Hush, hush, +child!" he cried, interrupting me. "Do you know to whom +you are speaking? and do you forget that you are a little +girl? Are you wiser than your teachers? I must give you +a penance for those naughty words, and you will pray for +a better spirit." He said much more to me, and gave me +good advice that I remember much better than I followed. +He enjoined if upon me to keep up good courage, as I +would gain my health faster. He then bade me farewell, +telling me not to forget, to repeat certain prayers as +a penance for my sin in speaking so boldly. O, did he +think when he talked to me so kindly, so faithfully, that +it was his last opportunity to give me good advice? Did +he know that he left me to return no more? I saw nothing +unusual in his appearance, and I did not suspect that it +was the last time I should see his pleasant face and +listen to his kindly voice. I loved that man, and bitter +were the tears I shed when I learned that I should never +see him again. The Abbess informed me that he was sent +away for something he had done, she did not know what. +O that something! I knew well enough what it was. He had +a kind heart; he could feel for the unfortunate, and +that, with the Roman Catholics, is an "unpardonable sin." + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +CEREMONY OF CONFIRMATION. + +I continued to regain my health slowly, and the Abbess +said they would soon send me back to the nursery. I could +not endure the thought of this, for I had the greatest +fear of the Abbess who had the charge of that department. +She was very cruel, while St. Bridget was as kind as she +dare to be. She knew full well that if she allowed +herself to exhibit the least feeling of affection for +those children, she would be instantly removed, and some +one placed over them who would not give way to such +weakness. We all saw how it was, and loved her all the +more for the severity of her reproofs when any one was +near. With tears, therefore, I begged to be allowed to +stay with her; and when the priest came for me, she told +him that she thought I had better remain with her till +I gained a little more strength. + +To this he consented, and I was very grateful indeed for +the kindness. Wishing in some way to express my gratitude, +as soon as I was able I assisted in taking care of the +other little girls as much as possible. St. Bridget, in +turn, taught me to read a little, so that I could learn +my prayers when away from her. She also gave me a few +easy lessons in arithmetic, and instructed me to speak +the Celt language. She always spoke in that, or the +French, which I could speak before, having learned it +from the family where I lived after my father gave up +his saloon. They were French Catholics and spoke no other +language. + +As soon as I was sufficiently recovered to leave my room, +I was taken to the chapel to be confirmed. Before they +came for me, the abbess told me what questions would be +asked, and the answers I should be required to give. She +said they would ask me if I wished to see my father; if +I should like to go back to the world, etc. To these and +similar questions she said I must give a negative answer. +"But," said I, "that will be a falsehood, and I will not +say so for any of them." "Hush, hush, child!" she exclaimed, +with a frightened look. "You must not talk so. From my +heart I pity you; but it will be better for you to answer +as I tell you, for if you refuse they will punish you +till you do. Remember," she added, emphatically, "remember +what I say: it will be better for you to do as I tell +you." And she made me promise that I would. "But why do +they wish me to tell a lie?" I asked. "They do not wish +you to tell a lie," she replied; "they wish you to do +right, and feel right; to be contented and willing to +forget the world." "But I do not wish to forget the +world," I said. "I am not contented, and saying that I +am will not make me feel so. Is it right to tell a lie?" +"It is right for you to obey," she replied, with more +severity in her tone than I ever heard before. "Do you +know," she continued," that it is a great sin for you to +talk so?" "A sin!" I exclaimed, in astonishment; "why is +it a sin?" "Because," she replied, "you have no right to +inquire why a command is given. Whatever the church +commands, we must obey, and that, too, without question +or complaint. If we are not willing to do this, it is +the duty of the Bishop and the priests to punish us until +we are willing. All who enter a convent renounce forever +their own will." "But I didn't come here myself," said +I;" my father put me here to stay a few years. When I am +eighteen I shall go out again." "That does not make any +difference," she replied. "You are here, and your duty +is obedience. But my dear," she continued, "I advise you +never again to speak of going out, for it can never be. +By indulging such hopes you are preparing yourself for +a great disappointment. By speaking of it, you will, I +assure you, get yourself into trouble. You may not find +others so indulgent as I am; therefore, for your own +sake, I hope you will relinquish all idea of ever leaving +the convent, and try to be contented." Such was the kind +of instruction I received at the White Nunnery. I did +not feel as much disappointed at the information that I +was never to go into the world again as she had expected. +I had felt for a long time, almost, indeed, from my first +entrance, that such would be my fate, and though deeply +grieved, I was able to control my feelings. + +The great day at length came for which the Abbess had +been so long preparing me. I say great, for in our +monotonous life, the smallest circumstance seemed important. +Moreover, I was assured that my future happiness depended +very much upon the answers, I that day gave to the various +questions put to me. When about to be taken to the chapel, +St. Bridget begged the priest to be careful and not +frighten me, lest it should bring on my fits again. I +was led into the chapel and made to kneel before the +altar. The bishop and five priests were present, and +also, a man whom I had never seen before, but I was told +he was the Pope's Nuncio, and that he came a long way to +visit them. I think this was true, for they all seemed +to regard him as a superior. I shall never forget my +feelings when he asked me the following questions, which +I answered as I had been directed. "Who do you believe +in?" "God." "How many persons are there in God?" "Three; +the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost" "What world have you +lately left?" "The world of sin and Satan." "Do you wish +to go back and live with your father?" "No Sir." "Do you +think you can live all your life with us." "I think I +can, sir." He then said, "You will not fare any better +than you have hitherto, and perhaps not as well." It was +with the greatest difficulty that I could control my +feelings sufficiently to answer this last question. But +remembering what the Abbess had told me, I suppressed my +tears, and choked down the rising sob. Surely those men +must have known that I was telling a falsehood--that +the profession I made was not in accordance with my real +sentiments. For myself, I then felt, and still feel that +the guilt was not mine. The sin did not rest with me. + +The Bishop was then told to hear my confession, after +which, a priest took some ointment from a small box, and +rubbed it on my forehead, and another priest came with +a towel and wiped it off. I was then taken back to St. +Bridget, with whom I remained, as long as I was in the +White Nunnery. + +On my tenth birthday, the Bishop came to the Abbess very +early in the morning, and informed her that I was to take +the White Veil that day, and immediately after the +ceremony, I would leave for the Grey Nunnery in Montreal. +He desired her to make all the necessary preparation, +and take her leave of me, as she would not see me again. +This was sad news for us both, for I felt that she was +my only friend, and I knew that she felt for me, the most +sincere affection. She gave me much good advice in +reference to my future conduct, and with tears exhorted +me to be kind, cheerful, and obedient. I was going to a +new place, she said, and if I was a good girl, and sought +to please my superiors, I would find some one to be kind +to me. She advised me to try and appear contented in +whatever situation I might be placed, and above all other +considerations, never disobey the least command. +"Obedience," she again repeated, "is the rule in all +convents, and it will be better for you to obey at once, +and cheerfully, and willingly comply with every request, +than to incur displeasure and perhaps punishment, by any +appearance of reluctance or hesitation. If there is any +one thing that you dislike to do, be sure that you do +not betray your feelings, for if you do, that will be +the very thing they will require of you; and I assure +you, if you once become the object of suspicion or dislike, +your condition will be anything but agreeable. You will +be marked and watched, and required to do many unpleasant +things, to say the least. Therefore I hope you will +perform all your duties with a cheerful and willing +spirit." Bitterly did I grieve at the thought of being +separated from the only being on earth who seemed to care +for me. In the anguish of the moment, I wished I might +die. St. Bridget reproved me, saying encouragingly that +death was the coward's refuge, sought only by those who +had not the resolution to meet, endure, or overcome the +trials of life. She exhorted me to courage, perseverance +and self denial, saying that if I fought life's battle +bravely, I would have my reward. + +She changed all my clothes, and assisted me to put on a +white dress and cape, and a white cap and veil. She then +gave me a card of good behavior, embraced me for the last +time, and led me out to the Bishop, who was waiting to +conduct me to the chapel where the ceremony was to be +performed. + +I there met ten other little girls, who, like myself, +were compelled to take upon themselves vows they did not +understand, and thus, by an apparently voluntary act, +consign themselves to slavery for life. They were all +strangers to me, sent here, as I afterwards learned, from +some nunnery in Ireland, where they had friends who were +too solicitous for their welfare. The priests do not wish +the nuns to see friends from the world, and they will +frame almost any plausible excuse to prevent it. But when +the friends become too urgent, as they sometimes do, and +their inventive powers are taxed too severely, or if the +task of furnishing so many excuses become too irksome, +the poor hapless victims are sent off to some other +nunnery, and the friends are told that they were not +contented, and wished to go to some other place, and that +they, generous creatures that they are, have at length, +after much solicitation, kindly consented to their removal. +And this too, when they know that these very girls are +grieving their lives away, for a sight of those dear +friends, who, they are confidently assured, are either +dead, or have entirely forgotten them! Can the world of +woe itself furnish deceit of a darker dye? + +The Bishop led me up to the altar, and put a lighted +candle into my hand. He then went under the altar, on +which a lighted candle was placed, and soon returned +followed by two little boys whom they called apostles. +They held, each, a lighted torch with which they proceeded +to light two more candles. On a table near the altar, +stood a coffin, and soon two priests entered, bearing +another coffin, which they placed beside the other. A +white cloth was spread over them, and burning candles +placed at the head and foot. These movements frightened +me exceedingly, for I thought they were going to kill me. + +Forgetting in my terror that I was not allowed to speak, +I asked the Bishop if he was going to kill me. "Kill +you!" he exclaimed, "O no; don't be frightened; I shall +not hurt you in the least. But it is our custom, when a +nun takes the veil, to lay her in a coffin to show that +she is dead to the world. Did not St. Bridget tell you +this?" I told him she did not, but I did not dare to tell +him that I supposed she felt so bad when she found I must +leave her, that she entirely forgot it. He then asked +very pleasantly, which of the two coffins I liked the +best, saying I could have my choice. I replied, "I have +no choice." This was true, for although he assured me to +the contrary, I still believed he was about to kill me, +and I cared very little about my coffin. They were both +large enough for a grown person, and beautifully finished, +with a large silver plate on the lid. The Bishop took me +up in his arms, and laid me in one of them, and bade me +close my eyes. + +I lay in that coffin a long time, as it seemed to me, +without the least motion. I was so much alarmed, I felt +as though I could not even lift a finger. Meantime the +Bishop and priests read alternately from a book, but in +a language I could not understand. Occasionally they +would come and feel my hands and feet, and say to each +other, "She is very cold." I believe they were afraid I +should die in their hands, of fear. When at last they +took me up, they told me that I would carry that coffin +to Montreal with me--that I would be laid in it when +robed for the grave--and that my bones would moulder to +dust in it. I shall never forget the impression these +words made on my mind. There was something so horrible +in the thought of carrying a coffin about with me all my +life, constantly reminding me of the shortness of time, +and the sure approach of death, I could not endure it. +Gladly would I have left it, costly and elegant as it +was, choosing rather to run the risk of being buried +without one, but this was not allowed. I could have no +choice in the matter. + +These ceremonies concluded. I was taken to a small room, +and a woman assisted me to change my clothes again, and +put on the Grey Nunnery suit. This consisted of a grey +dress and shoes, and a black cap. Each nunnery has a +peculiar dress which every nun is required to wear. Thus, +on meeting one of them, it is very easy to tell what +establishment she belongs to, and a run-away is easily +detected. On leaving the chapel, I was taken to the +steamboat, with the other ten girls, accompanied by a +priest. Our coffins were packed in cotton, and placed on +the boat with us. On our arrival at Montreal, we found +a priest and two nuns waiting for us to conduct us to +the nunnery. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +THE GREY NUNNERY. + +The Grey Nunnery is situated on St. Paul Street, Montreal. +It is four stories high, besides the basement. It occupies +a large space of ground, I do not know how much, but it +is a very extensive building. The roof is covered with +tin, with a railing around it, finished at the top with +sharp points that look like silver, about a foot in +length, and three feet apart. Over the front door there +is a porch covered with a profusion of climbing plants, +which give it a beautiful appearance. The building stands +in a large yard, surrounded on all sides by a high fence, +so high indeed, that people who pass along the street +can see no part of the nunnery except the silver points +on the roof. The top of this fence is also finished with +long iron spikes. Every thing around the building seems +expressly arranged to keep the inmates in, and intruders +out. In fact it would be nearly impossible for any one +to gain a forcible or clandestine admittance to any part +of the establishment. There are several gates in the +fence, how many I do not know, but the front gate opens +on St. Ann Street. Over each of the gates hangs a bell, +connected with the bells in the rooms of the Superior +and Abbesses, which ring whenever the gate is opened. +There is always a guard of two men at each gate, who walk +up and down with guns upon their shoulders. While attempting +to give a brief description of this building, I may as +well say that it is constructed with non-conductors +between the walls, so that the ringing of a bell, or the +loudest shriek, could not be heard from one room to the +other. The reader will please bear this in mind, as the +reason for the precaution will appear in the course of +my narrative. + +The priest, who met us as we left the boat, conducted us +to the front door and rang the bell. Soon a lady appeared, +who drew a slide in the middle of the door, exposing one +pane of glass. Through this she looked, to see who was +there, and when satisfied on this point, opened the door. +Here let me remark, that since I left the nunnery, I have +heard of another class of people who find it convenient +to have a slide in their door; and if I am not very much +mistaken, the character of the two houses, or rather the +people who live in them, are very much alike, whether +they are nunneries of private families, Catholics or +Protestants. Honest people have no need of a slide in +the door, and where there is so much precaution, may we +not suppose that something behind the curtain imperatively +calls for it? It is an old adage, but true notwithstanding, +that "where there is concealment, there must be something +wrong." + +In the hall opposite the front door were two other doors, +with a considerable space between them. The right hand +door was opened by the door-tender, and we entered a room +furnished in the plainest manner, but every thing was +neat, and in perfect order. Instead of chairs, on two +sides of the room a long bench was fastened to the sides +of the house. They were neither painted, nor cushioned, +but were very white, as was also the floor, on which +there was no carpet. Beside the door stood a basin of +holy water, and directly opposite, an image of the Saviour +extended on the cross which they call a crucifix. + +Here we were left a few moments, then the door-keeper +came back, and asked us if we would like to see the Black +Cloisters; and if so, to follow her. She led us back into +the hall, and in the space between the two doors that I +mentioned, she unlocked a bar, and pulling it down, +touched a spring, and immediately a little square door +slid back into the ceiling. Across this door, or window +or whatever they called it, were strong bars of iron +about one inch apart. Through this aperture we were +allowed to look, and a sad sight met my eyes. As many +as fifty disconsolate looking ladies were sitting there, +who were called Black Nuns, because they were preparing +to take the Black Veil. They were all dressed in black, +a black cap on the head, and a white bandage drawn across +the forehead, to which another was attached, that passed +under the chin. These bandages they always wore, and were +not allowed to lay aside. They sat, each one with a book +in her hand, motionless as so many statues. Not a finger +did they move, not an eye was raised, but they sat gazing +upon the page before them as intently as though life +itself depended upon it. Our guide informed us that they +were studying the [footnote] Black Book preparatory to +taking the Black Veil and entering the Cloister. This +book was quite a curiosity. It was very large, with a +white cover, and around the edge a black border about an +inch wide. + +[Footnote: "The Black Book, or Praxis Sacra Romance +Inquisitionis, is always the model for that which is to +succeed it. This book is a large manuscript volume, in +folio, and is carefully preserved by the head of the +Inquisition. It is called Libro Nero, the Black Book, +because it has a cover of that color; or, as an inquisitor +explained to me, Libro Necro, which, in the Greek language, +signifies 'The book of the dead.' + +"In this book is the criminal code, with all the punishments +for every supposed crime; also the mode of conducting +the trial, so as to elicit the guilt of the accused; and +the manner of receiving accusations. I had this book in +my hand on one occasion, and read therein the proceedings +relative to my own case; and I moreover saw in this same +volume some very astounding particulars; for example, in +the list of punishments I read concerning the bit, or as +it is called by us THE MORDACCHIA, which is a very simple +contrivance to confine the tongue, and compress it between +two cylinders composed of iron and wood and furnished +with spikes. This horrible instrument not only wounds +the tongue and occasions excessive pain, but also, from +the swelling it produces; frequently places the sufferer +in danger of suffocation. This torture is generally had +recourse to in cases considered as blasphemy against God, +the Virgin, the Saints, or the Pope. So that according +to the Inquisition, it is as great a crime to speak +disparagingly of a pope, who may be a very detestable +character, as to blaspheme the holy name of God. Be that +as it may, this torture has been in use till the present +period; and, to say nothing of the exhibitions of this +nature which were displayed in Romanga, in the time of +Gregory 16th., by the Inquisitor Ancarani--in Umbria by +Stefanelli, Salva, and others, we may admire the +inquisitorial seal of Cardinal Feretti, the cousin of +his present holiness, who condescended more than once to +employ these means when he was bishop of Rieti and Fermo." +Dealings with the Inquisition, by the Rev. Giacinto +Achilli D. D., late Prior and Visitor of the Dominican +Order, Head Professor of Theology and Vicar of the master +of the Sacred Apostolic Palace, etc., etc., page 81.] + +Our curiosity being satisfied as far as possible, we +returned to the side room, where we waited long for the +lady Superior. When at length she came, she turned to me +first, as I sat next the door, and asked me if I had +anything to show in proof of my former good character. +I gave her my card; she looked at it, and led me to the +other side of the room. The same question was asked of +every girl in turn, when it was found that only four +beside myself had cards of good behavior. The other six +presented cards which she said were for bad behavior. +They were all placed together on the other side of the +room; and as the Superior was about to lead them away, +one of them came towards us saying that she did not wish +to stay with those girls, she would rather go with us. +The Superior drew her back, and replied, "No, child; you +cannot go with those good girls; you would soon learn +them some of your naughty ways. If you will do wrong, +you must take the consequences." Then, seeing that the +child really felt very bad, she said, in a kinder tone, +"When you learn to do right, you shall be allowed to go +with good girls, but not before." I pitied the poor child, +and for a long time I hoped to see her come to our room; +but she never came. They were all led off together, and +that was the last I ever saw of any of them. + +I was taken, with the other four girls, to a room on the +second floor. Here we found five cribs, one for each of +us, in which we slept. Our food was brought to us regularly, +consisting of one thin slice of fine wheat bread for each +of us, and a small cup of milk. It was only in the morning, +however, that the milk was allowed us, and for dinner +and supper we had a slice of bread and a cup of water. +This was not half enough to satisfy our hunger; but we +could have no more. For myself I can say that I was hungry +all the time, and I know the others were also; but we +could not say so to each other. We were in that room +together five weeks, yet not one word passed between us. +We did sometimes smile, or shake our heads, or make some +little sign, though even this was prohibited, but we +never ventured to speak. We were forbidden to do so, on +pain of severe punishment; and I believe we were watched +all the time, and kept there, for a trial of our obedience. +We were employed in peeling a soft kind of wood for beds, +and filling the ticks with it. We were directed to make +our own beds, keep our room in the most perfect order, +and all our work in the middle of the floor. The Superior +came up every morning to see that we were thoroughly +washed, and every Saturday she was very particular to +have our clothes and bed linen all changed. As every +convenience was provided in our rooms or the closets +adjoining, we were not obliged to go out for anything, +and for five weeks I did not go out of that room. + +My bed was then brought from Quebec, and we were moved +to a large square room, with four beds in it, only two +of which were occupied. We were then sent to the kitchen, +where in future, we were to be employed in cleaning sauce, +scouring knives and forks, and such work as we were able +to do. As we grew older, our tasks were increased with +our strength. I had no regular employment, but was called +upon to do any of the drudgery that was to be done about +the house. The Superior came to the kitchen every morning +after prayers and told us what to do through the day. +Then, in her presence we were allowed five minutes +conversation, a priest also being present. For the rest +of the day we kept a profound silence, not a word being +spoken by any of us unless in answer to a question from +some of our superiors. + +In one part of the building there was a school for young +ladies, who were instructed in the various branches of +education usually taught in Catholic schools. Many of +the scholars boarded at the nunnery, and all the cooking +and washing was done in the kitchen. We also did the +cooking for the saloons in Montreal. If this did not keep +us employed, there were corn brooms and brushes to make, +and thus every moment was fully occupied. Not a moment +of leisure, no rest, no recreation, but hard labor, and +the still more laborious religious exercises, filled up +the time. It was sometimes very annoying to me to devote +so many hours to mere external forms; for I felt, even +when very young, that they were of little worth. But it +was a severe trial to our temper to make so many pies, +cakes, puddings, and all kinds of rich food, which we +were never allowed to taste. The priests, superiors, and +the scholars had every luxury they desired; but the nuns, +who prepared all their choice dainties, were never +permitted to taste anything but bread and water. I am +well aware that this statement will seem incredible, and +that many will doubt the truth of it; but I repeat it: +the nuns in the Grey Nunnery, or at least those in the +kitchen with me, were allowed no food except bread and +water, or, in case of illness, water gruel. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +ORPHAN'S HOME. + +The Grey Nunnery is said to be an orphan's home, and no +effort is spared to make visitors believe that this is +the real character of the house. I suppose it is true +that one part of it is devoted to this purpose; at least +my Superior informed me that many children were kept +there; and to those apartments visitors are freely +admitted, but never to that part occupied by the nuns. +We were never allowed to communicate with people from +the world, nor with the children. In fact, during all +the time I was there, I never saw one of them, nor did +I ever enter the rooms where they were. + +In the ladies' school there were three hundred scholars, +and in our part of the house two hundred and fifty nuns, +besides the children who belonged to the nunnery. Add to +these the abbesses, superiors, priests, and bishop, and +one will readily imagine that the work for such a family +was no trifling affair. + +In this nunnery the Bishop was the highest authority, +and everything was under his direction, unless the Pope's +Nuncio, or some other high church functionary was present. +I sometimes saw one whom they called the Archbishop, who +was treated with great deference by the priests, and even +by the Bishop himself. + +The Holy Mother, or Lady Superior, has power over all +who have taken or are preparing to take the veil. Under +her other superiors or abbesses are appointed over the +various departments, whose duty it is to look after the +nuns and novices, and the children in training for nuns. +The most rigid espionage is kept up throughout the whole +establishment; and if any of these superiors or abbesses +fail to do the duty assigned them, they are more severely +punished than the nuns. Whenever the Lady Superior is +absent the punishments are assigned by one of the priests. +Of these there were a large number in the nunnery; and +whenever we chanced to meet one of them, as we sometimes +did when going about the house, or whenever one of them +entered the kitchen, we must immediately fall upon our +knees. No matter what we were doing, however busily +employed, or however inconvenient it might be, every +thing must be left or set aside, that this senseless +ceremony might be performed. The priest must be honored, +and woe to the poor nun who failed to move with sufficient +alacrity; no punishment short of death itself was thought +too severe for such criminal neglect. Sometimes it would +happen that I would be engaged in some employment with +my back to the door, and not observe the entrance of a +priest until the general movement around me would arrest +my attention; then I would hasten to "make my manners," +as the ceremony was called; but all too late. I had been +remiss in duty, and no excuse would avail, no apology be +accepted, no forgiveness granted; the dreaded punishment +must come. + +While the nuns are thus severely treated, the priests, +and the Holy Mother live a very easy life, and have all +the privileges they wish. So far as the things of this +world are concerned, they seem to enjoy themselves very +well. But I have sometimes wondered if conscience did +not give them occasionally, an unpleasant twinge; and +from some things I have seen, I believe, that with many +of them, this is the fact. They may try to put far from +them all thoughts of a judgment to come, yet I do believe +that their slumbers are sometimes disturbed by fearful +forebodings of a just retribution which may, after all, +be in store for them. But whatever trouble of mind they +may have, they do not allow it to interfere with their +worldly pleasures, and expensive luxuries. They have +money enough, go when, and where they please, eat the +richest food and drink the choicest wines. In short, if +sensual enjoyment was the chief end of their existence, +I do not know how they could act otherwise. The Abbesses +are sometimes allowed to go out, but not unless they have +a pass from one of the priests, and if, at any time, they +have reason to suspect that some one is discontented, +they will not allow any one to go out of the building +without a careful attendant. + +My Superior here, as in the White Nunnery, was very kind +to me. I sometimes feared she would share the fate of +Father Darity, for she had a kind heart, and was guilty +of many benevolent acts, which, if known, would have +subjected her to very serious consequences. I became so +much attached to her, that my fears for her were always +alarmed when she called me her good little girl, or used +any such endearing expression. The sequel of my story +will show that my fears were not unfounded; but let me +not anticipate. Sorrows will thicken fast enough, if we +do not hasten them. + +I lived with this Superior one year before I was +consecrated, and it was, comparatively, a happy season. +I was never punished unless it was to save me from less +merciful hands; and then I would be shut up in a closet, +or some such simple thing. The other four girls who +occupied the room with me, were consecrated at the same +time. + +The Bishop came to our room early one morning, and took +us to the chapel. At the door we were made to kneel, and +then crawl on our hands and knees to the altar, where +sat a man, who we were told, was the Archbishop. Two +little boys came up from under the altar, with the vesper +lamp to burn incense. I suppose they were young Apostles, +for they looked very much like those we had seen at the +White Nunnery, and were dressed in the same manner. The +Bishop turned his back, and they threw incense on his +head and shoulders, until he was surrounded by a cloud +of smoke. He bowed his head, smote upon his breast, and +repeated something in latin, or some other language, that +we did not understand. We were told to follow his example, +and did so, as nearly as possible. This ceremony over, +the Bishop told us to go up on to the altar on our knees, +and when this feat was performed to his satisfaction, he +placed a crown of thorns upon each of our heads. These +crowns were made of bands of some firm material, which +passed over the head and around the forehead. On the +inside thorns were fastened, with the points downward, +so that a very slight pressure would cause them to pierce +the skin. This I suppose is intended to imitate the +crown of thorns which our Saviour wore upon the cross. +But what will it avail them to imitate the crucifixion +and the crown of thorns, while justice and mercy are so +entirely neglected? What will it avail to place a crown +of thorns upon a child's head, or to bid her kneel before +the image of the Saviour, or travel up stairs on her +knees, while the way of salvation by Christ is never +explained to her; while of real religion, holiness of +heart, and purity of life she is as ignorant as the most +benighted, degraded heathen? Is it rational to suppose +that the mere act of repeating a prayer can heal the +wounded spirit, or give peace to a troubled conscience? +Can the most cruel penance remove the sense of guilt, or +whisper hope to the desponding soul? Ah, no! I have tried +it long enough to speak with absolute certainty. For +years I practiced these senseless mummeries, and if there +were any virtue, in them, I should, most certainly have +discovered it. But I know full well, and my reader knows +that they cannot satisfy the restless yearnings of the +immortal mind. They may delude the vulgar, but they cannot +dispel the darkness of the tomb, they cannot lead a soul +to Christ. + +On leaving the chapel after the ceremony, I found a new +Superior, waiting for us at the door to conduct us to +our rooms. We were all very much surprised at this, but +she informed us that our old Superior died that morning, +that she was already buried, and she had come to take +her place. I could not believe this story, for she came +to us as usual that morning, appeared in usual health, +though always very pale, and made no complaint, or +exhibited any signs of illness. She told us in her kind +and pleasant way that we were to be consecrated, gave us +a few words of advice, but said nothing about leaving +us, and I do not believe she even thought of such a thing. +Little did I think, when she left us, that I was never +to see her again. But so it was. In just two hours and +a half from that time, we were told that she was dead +and buried, and another filled her place! A probable +story, truly! I wonder if they thought we believed it! +But whether we did or not, that was all we could ever +know about it. No allusion was ever made to the subject, +and nuns are not allowed to ask questions. However excited +we might feel, no information could we seek as to the +manner of her death. Whether she died by disease, or by +the hand of violence; whether her gentle spirit peacefully +winged its way to the bosom of its God, or was hastily +driven forth upon the dagger's point, whether some kind +friend closed her eyes in death, and decently robed her +cold limbs for the grave, or whether torn upon the +agonizing rack, whether she is left to moulder away in +some dungeon's gloom, or thrown into the quickly consuming +fire, we could never know. These, and many other questions +that might have been asked, will never be answered until +the last great day, when the grave shall give up its +dead, and, the prison disclose its secrets. + +After the consecration we were separated, and only one +of the girls remained with me. The others I never saw +again. We were put into a large room, where were three +beds, one large and two small ones. In the large bed the +Superior slept, while I occupied one of the small beds +and the other little nun the other. Our new Superior was +very strict, and we were severely punished for the least +trifle--such, for instance, as making a noise, either in +our own room or in the kitchen. We might not even smile, +or make motions to each other, or look in each other's +face. We must keep our eyes on our work or on the floor, +in token of humility. To look a person full in the face +was considered an unpardonable act of boldness. On +retiring for the night we were required to lie perfectly +motionless. We might not move a hand or foot, or even a +finger. At twelve the bell rang for prayers, when we must +rise, kneel by our beds, and repeat prayers until the +second bell, when we again retired to rest. On cold winter +nights these midnight prayers were a most cruel penance. +It did seem as though I should freeze to death. But live +or die, the prayers must be said, and the Superior was +always there to see that we were not remiss in duty. If +she slept at all I am sure it must have been with one +eye open, for she saw everything. But if I obeyed in this +thing, I found it impossible to lie as still as they +required; I would move when I was asleep without knowing +it. This of course could not be allowed, and for many +weeks I was strapped down to my bed every night, until +I could sleep without the movement of a muscle. I was +very anxious to do as nearly right as possible, for I +thought if they saw that I strove with all my might to +obey, they would perhaps excuse me if I did fail to +conquer impossibilities. In this, however, I was +disappointed; and I at length became weary of trying to +do right, for they would inflict severe punishments for +the most trifling accident. In fact, if I give anything +like a correct account of my convent life, it will be +little else than a history of punishments. Pains, trials, +prayers, and mortifications filled up the time. Penance +was the rule, to escape it the exception. + +I neglected at the proper time to state what name was +given me when I took the veil; I may therefore as well +say in this place that my convent name was Sister Agnes. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +CONFESSION AND SORROW OF NO AVAIL. + +It was a part of my business to wait upon the priests in +their rooms, carry them water, clean towels, wine-glasses, +or anything they needed. When entering a priest's room +it was customary for a child to knock twice, an adult +four times, and a priest three times. This rule I was +very careful to observe. Whenever a priest opened the +door I was required to courtesy, and fall upon my knees; +but if it was opened by one of the waiters this ceremony +was omitted. These waiters were the boys I have before +mentioned, called apostles. It was also a part of my +business to wait upon them, carry them clean frocks, etc. + +One day I was carrying a pitcher of water to one of the +priests, and it being very heavy, it required both my +hands and nearly all my strength to keep it upright. On +reaching the door, however, I attempted to hold it with +one hand (as I dare not set it down), while I rapped with +the other. In so doing I chanced to spill a little water +on the floor. Just at that moment the door was opened by +the priest himself, and when he saw the water he was very +angry. He caught me by the arm and asked what punishment +he should inflict upon me for being so careless. I +attempted to explain how it happened, told him it was an +accident, that I was very sorry, and would try to be more +careful in future. But I might as well have said that I +was glad, and would do so again, for my confession, +sorrow, and promises of future obedience were entirely +thrown away, and might as well have been kept for some +one who could appreciate the feeling that prompted them. + +He immediately led me out of his room, it being on the +second floor, and down into the back yard. Here, in the +centre of the gravel walk, was a grate where they put +down coal. This grate he raised and bade me go down. I +obeyed, and descending a few steps found myself in a coal +cellar, the floor being covered with it for some feet in +depth. On this we walked some two rods, perhaps, when +the priest stopped, and with a shovel that stood near +cleared away the coal and lifted a trap door. Through +this we descended four or five steps, and proceeded along +a dark, narrow passage, so low we could not stand erect, +and the atmosphere so cold and damp it produced the most +uncomfortable sensations. By the light of a small lantern +which the priest carried in his hand, I was enabled to +observe on each side the passage small doors, a few feet +apart, as far as I could see. Some of them were open, +others shut, and the key upon the outside. In each of +these doors there was a small opening, with iron bars +across it, through which the prisoner received food, if +allowed to have any. One of these doors I was directed +to enter, which I did with some difficulty, the place +being so low, and I was trembling with cold and fear. +The priest crawled in after me and tied me to the back +part of the cell, leaving me there in midnight darkness, +and locking the door after him. I could hear on all +sides, as it seemed to me, the sobs, groans, and shrieks +of other prisoners, some of whom prayed earnestly for +death to release them from their sufferings. + +For twenty-four hours I was left to bear as I best could +the pains and terrors of cold, hunger, darkness, and +fatigue. I could neither sit or lie down, and every one +knows how very painful it is to stand upon the feet a +long time, even when the position can be slightly changed; +how much more so when no change can be effected, but the +same set of muscles kept continually on the stretch for +the space of twenty-four hours! Moreover, I knew not how +long I should be kept there. The other prisoners, whose +agonizing cries fell upon my ears, were evidently suffering +all the horrors of starvation. Was I to meet a fate like +this? Were those terrible sufferings in reserve for me? +How could I endure them? And then came the thought so +often present with me while in the convent, "If there is +a God in heaven, why does He permit such things? What +have I done that I should become the victim of such +cruelty? God of mercy!" I involuntarily exclaimed, "save +me from this terrible death." + +My prayer was heard, my petition granted. At the close +of twenty-four hours, the Lady Superior came and released +me from my prison, told me to go to the priest and ask +his forgiveness, and then go to my work in the kitchen. +I was very faint and weak from my long fast, and I resolved +never to offend again. I verily thought I could be careful +enough to escape another such punishment. But I had not +been in the kitchen one hour, when I chanced to let a +plate fall upon the floor. It was in no way injured, but +I had broken the rules by making a noise, and the Superior +immediately reported me to the priest. He soon appeared +with his bunch of keys and a dark lantern in his hand. +He took me by the ear which he pinched till he brought +tears to my eyes, saying, "You don't try to do well, and +I'll make you suffer the consequences." I did not reply, +for I had learned that to answer a priest, or seek to +vindicate myself, or even to explain how things came to +be so, was in itself a crime, to be severely punished. +However unjust their treatment, or whatever my feelings +might be, I knew it was better to suffer in silence. + +Unlocking a door that opened out of the kitchen, and +still keeping hold of my ear, he led me into a dark, +gloomy hall, with black walls, and opening a door on the +right, he bade me enter. This room was lighted by a +candle, and around the sides, large iron hooks with heavy +chains attached to them, were driven into the wall. At +the back part of the room, he opened the door, and bade +me enter a small closet. He then put a large iron ring +over my head, and pressed it down upon my shoulders. +Heavy weights were placed in my hands, and I was told to +stand up straight, and hold them fifteen minutes. This +I could not do. Had my life depended upon the effort, I +could not have stood erect, with those weights in my +hands. The priest, however, did not reprove me. Perhaps +he saw that I exerted all my strength to obey, for he +took out his watch, and slowly counted the minutes as +they passed. Ere a third part of the time expired, he +was obliged to release me, for the blood gushed from my +nose and mouth, and I began to feel faint and dizzy. The +irons were removed, and the blood ceased to flow. + +I was then taken to another room, lighted like the other, +but it was damp and cold, and pervaded by a strong, fetid, +and very offensive odor. The floor was of wood, and badly +stained with blood. At least, I thought it was blood, +but there was not light enough to enable me to say +positively what it was. In the middle of the room, stood +two long tables, on each of which, lay a corpse, covered +with a white cloth. The priest led me to these tables, +removed the cloth and bade me look upon the face of the +dead. They were very much emaciated, and the features, +even in death, bore the impress of terrible suffering. +We stood there a few moments, when he again led me back +to his own room. He then asked me what I thought of what +I had seen. Having taken no food for more than twenty-four +hours, I replied, "I am so hungry, I can think of nothing +else." "How would you. like to eat those dead bodies?" +he asked. "I would starve, Sir, before I would do it," +I replied. "Would you?" said he, with a slight sneer. +"Yes indeed," I exclaimed, striving to suppress my +indignant feelings. "What! eat the flesh of a corpse? +You do not mean it. I would starve to death first!" +Frightened at my own temerity in speaking so boldly, I +involuntarily raised my eye. The peculiar smile upon his +face actually chilled my blood with terror. He did not, +however, seem to notice me, but said, "Do not be too +sure; I have seen others quite as sure as you are, yet +they were glad to do it to save their lives; and remember," +he added significantly, "you will do it too if you are +not careful." He then ordered me to return to the kitchen. + +At ten o'clock in the morning, the nuns had a slice of +bread and cup of water; but, as I had been fasting, they +gave me a bowl of gruel, composed of indian meal and +water, with a little salt. A poor dinner this, for a +hungry person, but I could have no more. At eleven, we +went to mass in the chapel as usual. It was our custom +to have mass every day, and I have been told that this +is true of all Romish establishments. Returning to my +work in the kitchen, I again resolved that I would be so +careful, that, in future they should have no cause for +complaint For two days I succeeded. Yes, for two whole +days, I escaped punishment. This I notice as somewhat +remarkable, because I was generally punished every day, +and sometimes two or three times in a day. + +On the third morning, I was dusting the furniture in the +room occupied by the priest above mentioned, who treated +me so cruelly. The floor being uncarpeted, in moving the +chairs I chanced to make a slight noise, although I did +my best to avoid it. He immediately sprang to his feet, +exclaiming, "You careless dog! What did you do that for?" +Then taking me by the arms, he gave me a hard shake, +saying, "Have I not told you that you would be punished, +if you made a noise? But I see how it is with you; your +mind is on the world, and you think more of that, than +you do of the convent. But I shall punish you until you +do your duty better." He concluded this choice speech by +telling me to "march down stairs." Of course, I obeyed, +and he followed me, striking me on the head at every +step, with a book he held in his hand. I thought to escape +some of the blows, and hastened along, but all in vain; +he kept near me and drove me before him into the priests +sitting-room. He then sent for three more priests, to +decide upon my punishment. A long consultation they held +upon "this serious business," as I sneeringly thought +it, but the result was serious in good earnest, I assure +you. For the heinous offence of making a slight noise I +was to have dry peas bound upon my knees, and then be +made to crawl to St. Patrick's church, through an +underground passage, and back again. This church was +situated on a hill, a little more than a quarter of a +mile from the convent. Between the two buildings, an +under-ground passage had been constructed, just large +enough to allow a person to crawl through it on the hands +and knees. It was so low, and narrow, that it was +impossible either to rise, or turn around; once within +that passage there was no escape, but to go on to the +end. They allowed me five hours to go and return; and +to prove that I had really been there, I was to make a +cross, and two straight lines, with a bit of chalk, upon +a black-board that I should find at the end. + +O, the intolerable agonies I endured on that terrible +pathway! Any description that I can give, will fail to +convey the least idea of the misery of those long five +hours. It may, perchance, seem a very simple mode of +punishment, but let any one just try it, and they will +be convinced that it was no trifling thing. At the end, +I found myself in a cellar under the church, where there +was light enough to enable me to find the board and the +chalk. I made the mark according to orders, and then +looked around for some means of escape. Alas! There was +none to be found. Strong iron bars firmly secured the +only door, and a very slight examination convinced me +that my case was utterly hopeless. I then tried to remove +the peas from my swollen, bleeding limbs, but this, too, +I found impossible. They were evidently fastened by a +practised hand; and I was, at length, compelled to believe +that I must return as I came. I did return; but O, how, +many times I gave up in despair, and thought I could go +no further! How many times did I stretch myself on the +cold stones, in such bitter agony, that I could have +welcomed death as a friend and deliverer! What would I +not have given for one glass of cold water, or even for +a breath of fresh air! My limbs seemed on fire, and while +great drops of perspiration fell from my face, my throat +and tongue were literally parched with thirst. But the +end came at last, and I found the priest waiting for me +at the entrance. He seemed very angry, and said, "You +have been gone over your time. There was no need of it; +you could have returned sooner if you had chosen to do +so, and now, I shall punish you again, for being gone so +long." At first, his reproaches grieved me, for I had +done my best to please him, and I did so long for one +word of sympathy, it seemed for a moment, as though my +heart would break. Had he then spoken one kind word to +me, or manifested the least compassion for my sufferings, +I could have forgiven the past, and obeyed him with +feelings of love and gratitude for the future. Yes, I +would have done anything for that man, if I could have +felt that he had the least pity for me; but when he said +he should punish me again, my heart turned to stone. +Every tender emotion vanished, and a fierce hatred, a +burning indignation, and thirst for revenge, took +possession of my soul. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +ALONE WITH THE DEAD. + +The priest removed the peas from my limbs, and led me to +a tomb under the chapel, where he left me, with the +consoling assurance that "THE DEAD WOULD RISE AND EAT +ME!" This tomb was a large rectangular room, with shelves +on three sides of it, on which were the coffins of priests +and Superiors who had died in the nunnery. On the floor +under the shelves, were large piles of human bones, dry +and white, and some of them crumbling into dust. In the +center of the room was a large tank of water, several +feet in diameter, called St. Joseph's well. It occupied +the whole center of the room leaving a very narrow pathway +between that, and the shelves; so narrow, indeed, that +I found it impossible to sit down, and exceedingly +difficult to walk or even stand still. I was obliged to +hold firmly by the shelves, to avoid slipping into the +water which looked dark and deep. The priest said, when +he left me, that if I fell in, I would drown, for no one +could take me out. + +O, how my heart thrilled with superstitious terror when +I heard the key turn in the lock, and realized that I +was alone with the dead! And that was not the worst of +it. They would rise and eat me! For a few hours I stood +as though paralyzed with fear. A cold perspiration covered +my trembling limbs, as I watched those coffins with the +most painful and serious apprehension. Every moment I +expected the fearful catastrophe, and even wondered which +part they would devour first--whether one would come +alone and thus kill me by inches, or whether they would +all rise at once, and quickly make an end of me. I even +imagined I could see the coffins move--that I heard the +dead groan and sigh and even the sound of my own chattering +teeth, I fancied to be a movement among the dry bones +that lay at my feet. In the extremity of terror I shrieked +aloud. But this I knew was utterly useless. Who would +hear me? Or who would care if they did hear? I was +surrounded by walls that no sound could penetrate, and +if it could, it would fall upon ears deaf to the agonizing +cry for mercy,--upon hearts that feel no sympathy for +human woe. + +Some persons may be disposed to smile at this record of +absurd and superstitions fear. But to me it was no laughing +affair. Had not the priest said that the dead would rise +and eat me? And did I not firmly believe that what he +said was true? What! A priest tell a falsehood? Impossible. +I thought it could not be; yet as hour after hour passed +away, and no harm came to me, I began to exercise my +reason a little, and very soon came to the conclusion +that the priests are not the immaculate, infallible beings +I had been taught to believe. Cruel and hard hearted, +I knew them to be, but I did not suspect them of falsehood. +Hitherto I had supposed it was impossible for them to do +wrong, or to err in judgement; all their cruel acts being +done for the benefit of the soul, which in some inexplicable +way was to be benefited by the sufferings of the body. +Now, however, I began to question the truth of many things +I had seen and heard, and ere long I lost all faith in +them, or in the terrible system of bigotry, cruelty and +fraud, which they call religion. + +As the hours passed by and my fears vanished before the +calm light of reason, I gradually gained sufficient +courage to enable me to examine the tomb, thinking that +I might perchance discover the body of my old Superior. +For this purpose I accordingly commenced the circuit of +the room, holding on by the shelves, and making my way +slowly onward. One coffin I succeeded in opening, but +the sight of the corpse so frightened me, I did not dare +to open another. The room being brilliantly lighted with +two large spermaceti candles at one end, and a gas +burner at the other, I was enabled to see every feature +distinctly. + +One of the nuns informed me that none but priests and +Superiors are laid in that tomb. When these die in full +communion with the church, the body is embalmed, and +placed here, but it sometimes happens that a priest or +Superior is found in the convent who does not believe +all that is taught by the church of Rome. They desire to +investigate the subject--to seek for more light--more +knowledge of the way of salvation by Christ. This, with +the Romanists is a great sin, and the poor hapless victim +is at once placed under punishment. If they die in this +condition, their bodies are cast out as heretics, but if +they confess and receive absolution, they are placed in +the tomb, but not embalmed. The flesh, of course, decays, +and then the bones are thrown under the shelves. Never +shall I forget how frightful those bones appeared to me, +or the cold shudder that thrilled my frame at the sight +of the numerous human skulls that lay scattered around. + +Twenty-four hours I spent in this abode of the dead, +without rest or sleep. The attempt to obtain either would +have been sheer madness, for the least mis-step, the +least unguarded motion, or a slight relaxation of the +firm grasp by which I held on to the shelves, would have +plunged me headlong into the dark water, from which escape +would have been impossible. For thirty hours I had not +tasted food, and my limbs, mangled and badly swollen, +were so stiff with long standing, that, when allowed to +leave the tomb, I could hardly step. When the priest came +to let me out, he seemed to think it necessary to say +something to cover his attempt to deceive and frighten +me, but he only made a bad matter worse. He said that +after he left me, he thought he would try me once more, +and see if I would not do my duty better; he had, therefore, +WILLED THE DEAD NOT TO EAT ME! AND THEY, OBEDIENT TO HIS +WILL, WERE COMPELLED TO LET ME ALONE! I did not reply to +this absurd declaration, lest I should say something I +ought not, and again incur his displeasure. Indeed, I +was not expected to say anything, unless I returned thanks +for his unparalleled kindness, and I was not hypocrite +enough for that. I suppose he thought I believed all he +said, but he was greatly mistaken. If I began to doubt +his word while in the tomb, this ridiculous pretence only +served to add contempt to unbelief, and from that time +I regarded him as a deceiver, and a vile, unscrupulous, +hypocritical pretender. + +It was with the greatest difficulty that I again made my +way to the kitchen. I was never very strong, even when +allowed my regular meals, for the quantity, was altogether +insufficient, to satisfy the demands of nature; and now +I had been so long without anything to eat, I was so +weak, and my limbs so stiff and swollen, I could hardly +stand. I managed, however, to reach the kitchen, when I +was immediately seated at the table and presented with +a bowl of gruel. O, what a luxury it seemed to me, and +how eagerly did I partake of it! It was soon gone, and +I looked around for a further supply. Another nun, who +sat at the table with me, with a bowl of gruel before +her, noticed my disappointment when I saw that I was to +have no more. She was a stranger to me, and so pale and +emaciated she looked more like a corpse than a living +person. She had tasted a little of her gruel, but her +stomach was too weak to retain it, and as soon as the +Superior left us she took it up and poured the whole into +my bowl, making at the same time a gesture that gave me +to understand that it was of no use to her, and she wished +me to eat it I did not wait for a second invitation, and +she seemed pleased to see me accept it so readily. We +dared not speak, but we had no difficulty in understanding +each other. + +I had but just finished my gruel when the Superior came +back and desired me to go up stairs and help tie a mad +nun. I think she did this simply for the purpose of giving +me a quiet lesson in convent life, and showing me the +consequences of resistance or disobedience. She must have +known that I was altogether incapable of giving the +assistance she pretended to ask. But I followed her as +fast as possible, and when she saw how difficult it was +for me to get up stairs, she walked slowly and gave me +all the time I wished for. She led me into a small room +and closed the door. There I beheld a scene that called +forth my warmest sympathy, and at the same time excited +feelings of indignation that will never be subdued while +reason retains her throne. In the center of the room sat +a young girl, who could not have been more than sixteen +years old; and a face and form of such perfect symmetry, +such surpassing beauty, I never saw. She was divested of +all her clothing except one under-garment, and her hands +and feet securely tied to the chair on which she sat. A +priest stood beside her, and as we entered he bade us +assist him in removing the beds from the bedstead. They +then took the nun from her chair and laid her on the +bedcord. They desired me to assist them, but my heart +failed me. I could not do it, for I was sure they were +about to kill her; and as I gazed upon those calm, +expressive features, so pale and sad, yet so perfectly +beautiful, I felt that it would be sacrilege for me to +raise my hand against nature's holiest and most exquisite +work. I therefore assured them that I was too weak to +render the assistance they required. At first they +attempted to compel me to do it; but, finding that I was +really very weak, and unwilling to use what strength I +had, they at length permitted me to stand aside. When +they extended the poor girl on the cord, she said, very +quietly, "I am not mad, and you know that I am not." To +this no answer was given, but they calmly proceeded with +their fiendish work. One of them tied her feet, while +the other fastened a rope across her neck in such a way +that if she attempted to raise her head it would strangle +her. The rope was then fastened under the bedcord, and +two or three times over her person. Her arms were extended, +and fastened in the same way. As she lay thus, like a +lamb bound for the sacrifice, she looked up at her +tormentors and said, "Will the Lord permit me to die in +this cruel way?" The priest immediately exclaimed, in an +angry tone, "Stop your talk, you mad woman!" and turning +to me, he bade me go back to the kitchen. It is probable +he saw the impression on my mind was not just what they +desired, therefore he hurried me away. + +All this time the poor doomed nun submitted quietly to +her fate. I suppose she thought it useless, yea, worse +than useless, to resist; for any effort she might make +to escape would only provoke them, and they would torment +her the more. I presume she thought her last hour had +come, and the sooner she was out of her misery the better. +As for me, my heart was so filled with terror, anguish, +and pity for her, I could hardly obey the command to +leave the room. + +I attempted to descend the stairs, but was obliged to go +very slowly on account of the stiffness of my limbs, and +before I reached the bottom of the first flight the priest +and the Superior came out into the hall. I heard them +whispering together, and I paused to listen. This, I +know, was wrong; but I could not help it, and I was so +excited I did not realize what I was doing. My anxiety +for that girl overpowered every other feeling. At first +I could only hear the sound of their voices; but soon +they spoke more distinctly, and I heard the words. "What +shall we do with her? she will never confess." In an +audible tone of voice, the other replied, "We had better +finish her." How those words thrilled my soul! I knew +well enough that they designed "to finish her," but to +hear the purpose announced so coolly, it was horrible. +Was there no way that I could save her? Must I stand +there, and know that a fellow-creature was being murdered, +that a young girl like myself, in all the freshness of +youth and the fullness of health, was to be cut off in +the very prime of life and numbered with the dead; hurried +out of existence and plunged, unwept, unlamented, into +darkness and silence? She had friends, undoubtedly, but +they would never be allowed to know her sad fate, never +shed a tear upon her grave! I could not endure the thought. +I felt that if I lingered there another moment I should +be in danger of madness myself; for I could not help her. +I could not prevent the consummation of their cruel +purpose; I therefore hastened away, and this was the last +I ever heard of that poor nun. I had never seen her +before, and as I did not see her clothes, I could not +even tell whether she belonged to our nunnery or not. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +THE SICK NUN. + +On my return to the kitchen I found the sick nun sitting +as we left her. She asked me, by signs, if we were alone. +I told her she need not fear to speak, for the Superior +was two flights of stairs above, and no one else was +near. "Are they all away?" she whispered. I assured her +that we were quite alone, that she had nothing to fear. +She then informed me that she had been nine days under +punishment, that when taken from the cell she could not +stand or speak, and she was still too weak to walk without +assistance. "O!" said she, and the big tears rolled over +her cheeks as she said it, "I have not a friend in the +world. You do not know how my heart longs for love, for +sympathy and kindness." I asked if she had not parents, +or friends, in the world. She replied, "I was born in +this convent, and know no world but this. You see," she +continued, with a sad smile, "what kind of friends I have +here. O, if I HAD A FRIEND, if I could feel that one +human being cares for me, I should get better. But it is +so long since I heard a kind word--" a sob choked her +utterance. I told her I would be a friend to her as far +as I could. She thanked me; said she was well aware of +the difficulties that lay in my way, for every expression +of sympathy or kind feeling between the nuns was strictly +forbidden, and if caught in anything of the kind a severe +correction would follow. "But," said she "if you will +give me a kind look sometimes, whenever you can do so +with safety, it will be worth a great deal to me. You do +not know the value of a kind look to a breaking heart." + +She wept so bitterly, I feared it would injure her health, +and to divert her mind, I told her where I was born; +spoke of my childhood, and of my life at the White Nunnery. +She wiped away her tears, and replied, "I know all about +it. I have heard the priests talk about you, and they +say that your father is yet living, that your mother was +a firm protestant, and that it will be hard for them to +beat Catholicism into you. But I do not know how you came +in that nunnery. Who put you there?" I told her that I +was placed there by my father, when only six years old. +"Is it possible?" she exclaimed, and then added +passionately, "Curse your father for it." After a moments +silence, she continued, "Yes, child; you have indeed +cause to curse your father, and the day when you first +entered the convent; but you do not suffer as much as +you would if you had been born here, and were entirely +dependent on them. They fear that your friends may sometime +look after you; and, in case they are compelled to grant +them an interview, they would wish them to find you in +good health and contented; but if you had no influential +friends outside the convent, you would find yourself much +worse off than you are now." + +She then said she wished she could get some of the brandy +from the cellar. Her stomach was so weak from long fasting, +it would retain neither food or drink, and she thought +the brandy would give it strength. She asked if I could +get it for her. The idea frightened me at first, for I +knew that if caught in doing it, I should be most cruelly +punished, yet my sympathy for her at length overcame my +fears, and I resolved to try, whatever might be the +result. I accordingly went up stairs, ostensibly, to see +if the Superior wanted me, but really, to find out where +she was, and whether she would be likely to come down, +before I could have time to carry out my plan. I trembled +a little, for I knew that I was guilty of a great +misdemeanor in thus boldly presenting myself to ask if +I was wanted; but I thought it no very great sin to +pretend that I thought she called me, for I was sure my +motives were good, whatever they might think of them. I +had been taught that "the end sanctifies the means," and +I thought I should not be too hardly judged by the great +searcher of hearts, if, for once, I applied it in my own +way. + +I knocked gently at the door I had left but a few moments +before. It was opened by the Superior, but she immediately +stepped out, and closed it again, so that I had no +opportunity to see what was passing within. She sternly +bade me return to the kitchen, and stay there till she +came down; a command I was quite ready to obey. In the +kitchen there was a small cupboard, called the key +cupboard, in which they kept keys of all sizes belonging +to the establishment. They were hung on hooks, each one +being marked with the name of the place to which it +belonged. It was easy for me to find the key to the +cellar, and having obtained it, I opened another cupboard +filled with bottles and vials, where I selected one that +held half a pint, placed it in a large pitcher, and +hastened down stairs. I soon found a cask marked "brandy," +turned the faucet, and filled the bottle. But my heart +beat violently, and my hand trembled so that I could not +hold it steady, and some of it ran over into the pitcher. +It was well for me that I took this precaution, for if +I had spilt it on the stone floor of the cellar, I should +have been detected at once. I ran up stairs as quickly +as possible, and made her drink what I had in the pitcher, +though there was more of it than I should have given her +under other circumstances; but I did not know what to do +with it. If I put it in the fire, or in the sink, I +thought they would certainly smell it, and, there was no +other place, for I was not allowed to go out of doors. +I then replaced the key, washed up my pitcher, and secreted +the bottle of brandy in the waist of the nun's dress. +This I could easily do, their dresses being made with a +loose waist, and a large cape worn over them. I then +began to devise some way to destroy the scent in the +room. I could smell it very distinctly, and I knew that +the Superior would notice it at once. After trying various +expedients to no purpose, I at length remembered that I +had once seen a dry rag set on fire for a similar purpose. +I therefore took one of the cloths from the sink, and +set it on fire, let it burn a moment, and threw it under +the caldron. + +I was just beginning to congratulate myself on my success, +when I saw that the nun appeared insensible, and about +to fall from her chair. I caught her in my arms, and +leaned her back in the chair, but I did not dare to lay +her on the bed, without permission, even if I had strength +to do it. I could only draw her chair to the side of +the room, put a stick of wood under it, and let her head +rest against the wall. I was very much frightened, and +for a moment, thought she was dead. She was pale as a +corpse, her eyes closed, and her mouth wide open. Had I +really killed her? What if the Superior should find her +thus? I soon found that she was not dead, for her heart +beat regularly, and I began to hope she would get over +it before any one came in. But just as the thought passed +my mind, the door opened and the Superior appeared. Her +first words were, "What have you been burning? What smells +so?" I told her there was a cloth about the sink that I +thought unfit for use, and I put it under the caldron. +She then turned towards the nun and asked if she had +fainted. I told her that I did not know, but I thought +she was asleep, and if she wished me to awaken, and assist +her to bed, I would do so. To this she consented, and +immediately went up stairs again. Glad as I was of this +permission, I still doubted my ability to do it alone, +for I had little, very little strength; yet I resolved +to do my best. It was long, however, before I could arouse +her, or make her comprehend what I said, so entirely were +her senses stupified with the brandy. When at length I +succeeded in getting her upon her feet, she said she was +sure she could not walk; but I encouraged her to help +herself as much as possible, told her that I wished to +get her away before any one came in, or we would be +certainly found out and punished. This suggestion awakened +her fears, and I at length succeeded in assisting her to +bed. She was soon in a sound sleep, and I thought my +troubles for that time were over. But I was mistaken. In +my fright, I had quite forgotten the brandy in her dress. +Somehow the bottle was cracked, and while she slept, the +brandy ran over her clothes. The Superior saw it, and +asked how she obtained it. Too noble minded to expose +me, she said she drew it herself. I heard the Superior +talking to a priest about it, and I thought they were +preparing to punish her. I did not know what she had told +them, but I did not think she would expose me, and I +feared, if they punished her again, she would die in +their hands. + +I therefore went to the Superior and told her the truth +about it, for I thought a candid confession on my part +might, perchance, procure forgiveness for the nun, if +not for myself. But no; they punished us both; the nun +for telling the lie, and me for getting the brandy. For +two hours they made me stand with a crown of thorns on +my head, while they alternately employed themselves in +burning me with hot irons, pinching, and piercing me with +needles, pulling my hair, and striking me with sticks. +All this I bore very well, for I was hurt just enough to +make me angry. + +When I returned to the kitchen again, the nun was sitting +there alone. She shook her head at me, and by her gestures +gave me to understand that some one was listening. She +afterwards informed me that the Superior was watching +us, to see if we would speak to each other when we met. +I do not know how they punished her, but I heard a priest +say that she would die if she suffered much more. Perhaps +they thought the loss of that precious bottle of brandy +was punishment enough. But I was glad I got it for her, +for she had one good dose of it, and it did her good; +her stomach was stronger, her appetite better, and in a +few weeks she regained her usual health. + +One day, while at work as usual, I was called up stairs +with the other nuns to see one die. She lay upon the bed, +and looked pale and thin, but I could see no signs of +immediate dissolution. Her voice was strong, and respiration +perfectly natural, the nuns were all assembled in her +room to see her die. Beside her stood a priest, earnestly +exhorting her to confess her sins to him, and threatening +her with eternal punishment if she refused. But she +replied, "No, I will not confess to you. If, as you say, +I am really dying, it is with my God I have to do; to +him alone will I confess, for he alone can save." "If +you do not confess to me," exclaimed the priest, "I will +give you up to the devil." "Well," said she, "I stand in +no fear of a worse devil than you are, and I am quite +willing to leave you at any time, and try any other place; +even hell itself cannot be worse. I cannot suffer more +there than I have here." "Daughter," exclaimed the priest, +with affected sympathy, "must I give you up? How can I +see you go down to perdition? It is not yet too late. +Confess your sins and repent." "I have already confessed +my sins to God, and I shall confess to no one else. He +alone can save me." Her manner of saying this was solemn +but very decided. The priest saw that she would not yield +to his wishes, and raising his voice, he exclaimed, "Then +let the devil take you." + +Immediately the door opened, and a figure representing +the Roman Catholic idea of his Satanic Majesty entered +the room. He was very black, and covered with long hair, +probably the skin of some wild animal. He had two long +white tusks, two horns on his head, a large cloven foot, +and a long tail that he drew after him on the floor. He +looked so frightful, and recalled to my mind so vividly +the figure that I saw at the White Nunnery, that I was +very much frightened; still I did not believe it was +really a supernatural being. I suspected that it was one +of the priests dressed up in that way to frighten us, +and I now know that such was the fact. But what of that? +We all feared the priests quite as much as we should the +Evil One himself, even if he should come to us in bodily +shape, as they pretended he had done. Most of the nuns +were very much frightened when they saw that figure walk +up to the bedside, taking good care, however, to avoid +the priest, he being so very holy it was impossible for +an evil spirit to go near or even look at him. + +The priest then ordered us to return to the kitchen, for +said he, "The devil has come for this nun's soul, and +will take it with him," As we left the room I looked +around on my companions and wondered if they believed +this absurd story. I longed to ask them what they thought +of it, but this was not allowed. All interchange of +thought or feeling being strictly forbidden, we never +ventured to speak without permission when so many of us +were present, for some one was sure to tell of it if the +least rule was broken. + +I was somewhat surprised at first that we were all sent +to the kitchen, as but few of us were employed there; +but we were soon called back again to look at the corpse. +I was inexpressibly shocked at this summons, for I had +not supposed it possible for her to die so soon. But she +was dead; and that was all we could ever know about it. +As we stood around the bed, the priest said she was an +example of those in the world called heretics; that her +soul was in misery, and would remain so forever; no masses +or prayers could avail her then, for she could never be +prayed out of hell. Sins like hers could never be forgiven. + +I continued to work in the kitchen as usual for many +months after this occurrence, and for a few weeks the +sick nun was there a great part of the time. Whenever we +were alone, and sure that no one was near, we used to +converse together, and a great comfort it was to us both. +I felt that I had found in her one real friend, to +sympathize with me in my grievous trials, and with whom +I could sometimes hold communication without fear of +betrayal. I had proved her, and found her faithful, +therefore I did not fear to trust her. No one can imagine, +unless they know by experience, how much pleasure we +enjoyed in the few stolen moments that we spent together. + +I shall never forget the last conversation I had with +her. She came and sat down where I was assisting another +nun to finish a mat. She asked us if we knew what was +going on in the house. "As I came from my room," said +she, "I saw the priests and Superiors running along the +halls, and they appeared so much excited, I thought +something must be wrong. As they passed me, they told me +to go to the kitchen, and stay there. What does it all +mean?" Of course we did not know, for we had neither seen +or heard anything unusual. "Well," said she, "they are +all so much engaged up stairs, we can talk a little and +not be overheard. I want to know something about the +people in the world. Are they really cruel and cold-hearted, +as the priests say they are? When you was in the world +were they unkind to you?" "On the contrary," I replied, +"I would gladly return to them again if I could get away +from the convent. I should not be treated any worse, at +all events, and I shall embrace the-first opportunity to +go back to the world." "That is what I have always thought +since I was old enough to think at all," said she, "and +I have resolved a great many times to get away if possible. +I suppose they tell us about the cruelty in the world +just to frighten us, and. prevent us from trying to +escape. I am so weak now I do not suppose I could walk +out of Montreal even if I should leave the convent. But +if I ever get strong enough, I shall certainly try to +escape from this horrible place. O, I could tell you +things about this convent that would curdle the blood in +your veins." + +The other nun said that she had been once in the world, +and every one was kind to her. "I shall try to get out +again, some day," said she, "but we must keep our +resolutions to ourselves, for there is no one here, that +we can trust. Those whom we think our best friends will +betray us, if we give them a chance. I do believe that +some of them delight in getting us punished." + +The sick nun said, "I have never exposed any one and I +never will. I have the secrets of a great many hid in my +breast, that nothing shall ever extort from me." Here +she was interrupted, and soon left the room. I never saw +her again. Whether she was under punishment, or was so +fortunate as to make her escape, I do not know. As no +questions could be asked, it was very little we could +know of each other. If one of our number escaped, the +fact was carefully concealed from the rest, and if she +was caught and brought back, no one ever knew it, except +those who had charge of her. The other nun who worked +in the room with me, watched me very closely. Having +heard me declare my intention to leave the first +opportunity, she determined to go with me if possible. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +THE JOY OF FREEDOM. + +At length the long sought opportunity arrived, and with +the most extatic joy we fled from the nunnery. The girl +I have before mentioned, who wished to go with me, and +another nun, with whom I had no acquaintance, were left +in the kitchen to assist me, in taking charge of the +cooking, while the rest of the people were at mass in +the chapel. A chance presented for us to get away, and +we all fled together, leaving the cooking to take care +of itself. We were assisted to get out of the yard, but +how, or by whom, I can never reveal. Death, in its most +terrible form would be the punishment for such an act of +kindness, and knowing this, it would be the basest +ingratitude for me to name the individual who so kindly +assisted us in our perilous undertaking. + +How well do I remember the emotions that thrilled my soul +when I found myself safely outside the walls of that +fearful prison! The joy of freedom--the hope of ultimate +success--the fear of being overtaken, and dragged back +to misery or death, were considerations sufficiently +exciting to agitate our spirits, and lend fleetness to +our steps. With trembling limbs, and throbbing hearts +we fled towards the St. Lawrence river. Following the +tow-path, we hastened on for a few miles, when one of +the nuns became exhausted, and said she could go no +further. She was very weak when we started, and the +excitement and fatigue produced serious illness. What +should we do with her? We could not take her along with +us, and if we stopped with her, we might all be taken +and carried back. Must we leave her by the way-side? It +was a fearful alternative, but what else could we do? +With sad hearts we took her to a shed near by, and there +we left her to her fate, whatever it might be; perchance +to die there alone, or what was still worse, be carried +back to the convent. It was indeed, a sorrowful parting, +and we wept bitter tears together, as we bade her a last +farewell. I never saw or heard from her again. + +We pursued our way along the tow-path for a short distance, +when the canal boat came along. We asked permission to +go upon the boat, and the captain kindly granted it, but +desired us to be very still. He carried us twelve miles, +and then proposed to leave us, as he exposed himself to +a heavy fine by carrying us without a pass, and unattended +by a priest or Superior. We begged him to take us as far +as he went with the boat, and frankly told him our +situation. Having no money to offer, we could only cast +ourselves on his mercy, and implore his pity and assistance. +He consented to take us as far as the village of +Beauharnois, and there he left us. He did not dare take +us further, lest some one might be watching for us, and +find us on his boat. + +It was five o'clock in the morning when we left the boat, +but it was a Roman Catholic village, and we did not dare +to stop. All that day we pursued our way without food or +drink, and at night we were tired and hungry. Arriving +at a small village, we ventured to stop at the most +respectable looking house, and asked the woman if she +could keep us over night. She looked at us very attentively +and said she could not. We did not dare to call again, +for we knew that we were surrounded by those who would +think they were doing a good work to deliver us up to +the priests. Darkness came over the earth, but still +weary and sleepy as we were, we pursued our lonely way. +I will not repeat our bitter reflections upon a cold +hearted world, but the reader will readily imagine what +they were. + +Late in the evening, we came to an old barn. I think it +must have been four or five miles from the village. There +was no house, or other building near it, and as no person +was in sight, we ventured to enter. Here, to our great +joy, we found a quantity of clean straw, with which we +soon prepared a comfortable bed, where we could enjoy +the luxury of repose. We slept quietly through the night, +and at the early dawn awoke, refreshed and encouraged, +but O, so hungry! Gladly would we have eaten anything in +the shape of food, but nothing could we find. + +The morning star was yet shining brightly above us, as +we again started on our journey. At length our hearts +were cheered by the sight of a village. The first house +we came to stood at some distance from the other buildings, +and we saw two women in a yard milking cows. We called +at the door, and asked the lady for some milk. "O yes," +said she, with a sweet smile, "come in, and rest awhile, +and you shall have all you want." She thought we were +Sisters of Charity, for they often go about visiting the +sick, and praying with the people. It is considered a +very meritorious act to render them assistance, and speed +them on their way; but to help a runaway nun is to commit +a crime of sufficient magnitude to draw down the anathema +of the church. Therefore, while we carefully concealed +our real character, we gratefully accepted the aid we so +much needed, but which, we were sure, would have been +withheld had she known to whom it was offered. After +waiting till the cows were milked, and she had finished +her own breakfast, she filled a large earthen pan with +bread and milk, gave each of us a spoon, and we ate as +much as we wished. As we arose to depart, she gave each +of us a large piece of bread to carry with us, and asked +us to pray with her. We accordingly knelt in prayer; +implored heaven's blessing on her household, and then +took our leave of this kind lady, never more to meet her +on earth; but she will never be forgotten. + +That day we traveled a long distance, at least, so it +seemed to us. When nearly overcome with fatigue, we saw +from the tow-path an island in the river, and upon it a +small house. Near the shore a man stood beside a canoe. +We made signs to him to come to us, and he immediately +sprang into his canoe and came over. We asked him to take +us to the island, and he cheerfully granted our request, +but said we must sit very still, or we would find ourselves +in the water. I did not wonder he thought so, for the +canoe was very small, and the weight of three persons +sank it almost even with the surface of the river, while +the least motion would cause it to roll from side to +side, so that we really felt that we were in danger of +a very uncomfortable bath if nothing worse. + +We landed safely, however, and were kindly welcomed by +the Indian family in the house. Six squaws were sitting +on the floor, some of them smoking, others making shoes +and baskets. They were very gayly dressed, their skirts +handsomely embroidered with beads and silk of various +colors. One of the girls seemed very intelligent, and +conversed fluently in the English language which she +spoke correctly. But she did not look at all like an +Indian, having red hair and a lighter skin than the +others. She was the only one in the family that I could +converse with, as the rest of them spoke only their native +dialect; but the nun who was with me could speak both +French and Indian. + +They treated us with great kindness, gave us food, and +invited in to stay and live with them; said we could be +very happy there, and to induce us to remain, they informed +us that the village we saw on the other side of the river, +called St. Regis, was inhabited by Indians, but they were +all Roman Catholics. They had a priest, and a church +where we could go to Mass every Sabbath. Little did they +imagine that we were fleeing for life from the Romish +priests; that so far from being an inducement to remain +with them, this information was the very thing to send +us on our way with all possible speed. We did not dare +to stay, for I knew full well that if any one who had +seen us went to confession, they would be obliged to give +information of our movements; and if one priest heard of +us, he would immediately telegraph to all the priests in +the United States and Canada, and we should be watched +on every side. Escape would then be nearly impossible, +therefore we gently, but firmly refused to accept the +hospitality of these good people, and hastened to bid +them farewell. + +I asked the girl how far it was to the United States. +She said it was two miles to Hogansburg, and that was in +the States. We then asked the man to take us in his canoe +to the village of St. Regis on the other side of the +river. He consented, but, I thought, with some reluctance, +and before he allowed us to land, he conversed some +minutes with the Indians who met him on the shore. We +could not hear what they said, but my fears were at once +awakened. I thought they suspected us, and if so, we were +lost. But the man came back at length, and, assisted us +from the boat. If he had any suspicions he kept them to +himself. + +Soon after we reached the shore I met a man, of whom I +enquired when a boat would start for Hogansburg. He gazed +at us a moment, and then pointed to five boats out in +the river, and said those were the last to go that day. +They were then ready to start, and waited only for the +tow-boat to take them along. But they were so far away +we could not get to them, even if we dared risk ourselves +among so many passengers. What could we do? To stay there +over night, was not to be thought of for a moment. We +were sure to be taken, and carried back, if we ventured +to try it. Yet there was but one alternative; either +remain there till the next day, or try to get a passage +on the tow-boat. It did not take me a long time to decide +for myself, and I told the nun that I should go on, if +the captain would take me! "What! go on the tow-boat!" +she exclaimed, "There are no ladies on that boat, and +I do not like to go with so many men." "I am not afraid +of the men," I replied, "if they are not Romanists, and +I am resolved to go." "Do not leave me," she cried, with +streaming tears. "I am sure we can get along better if +we keep together, but I dare not go on the boat." "And +I dare not stay here," said I, and so we parted. I to +pursue my solitary way, she to go, I know not whither. +I gave her the parting hand, and have never heard from +her since, but I hope she succeeded better than I did, +in her efforts to escape. + +I went directly to the captain of the boat and asked him +if he could carry me to the States. He said he should go +as far as Ogdensburg, and would carry me there, if I +wished; or he could set me off at some place where he +stopped for wood and water. When I told him I had no +money to pay him, he smiled, and asked if I was a +run-a-way. I frankly confessed that I was, for I thought +it was better for me to tell the truth than to try to +deceive. "Well," said the captain, "I will not betray +you; but you had better go to my state-room and stay +there." I thanked him, but said I would rather stay where +I was. He then gave me the key to his room, and advised +me to go in and lock the door, "for," said he, "we are +not accustomed to have ladies in this boat, and the men +may annoy you. You will find it more pleasant and +comfortable to stay there alone." Truly grateful for his +kindness, and happy to escape from the gaze of the men, +I followed his direction; nor did I leave the room again +until I left the boat. The captain brought me my meals, +but did not attempt to enter the room. There was a small +window with a spring on the inside; he would come and +tap on the window, and ask me to raise it, when he would +hand me a waiter on which he had placed a variety of +refreshments, and immediately retire. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND. + +That night and the next day I suffered all the horrors +of sea-sickness; and those who have known by experience +how completely it prostrates the energies of mind and +body, can imagine how I felt on leaving the boat at night. +The kind-hearted captain set me on shore at a place where +he left coal and lumber, a short distance from the village +of Ogdensburg. He gave me twelve and half cents, and +expressed regret that he could do no more for me. He said +he could not direct me to a lodging for the night, being +a stranger in the place, and this the first time he had +been on that route. Should this narrative chance to meet +his eye, let him know that his kind and delicate attentions +to a stranger in distress, are and ever will be remembered +with the gratitude they so richly merit. It was with +evident reluctance that he left me to make my way onward +as I could. + +And now, reader, imagine, if you can, my situation. A +stranger in a strange land, and comparatively a stranger +to the whole world--alone in the darkness of night, not +knowing where to seek a shelter or a place to lay my +head; exhausted with sea-sickness until I felt more dead +than alive, it did seem as though it would be a luxury +to lie down and die. My stockings and shoes were all worn +out with so much walking, my feet sore, swollen, and +bleeding, and my limbs so stiff and lame that it was only +by the greatest effort that I could step at all. So +extreme were my sufferings, that I stopped more than once +before I reached the village, cast myself upon the cold +ground, and thought I could go no further. Not even the +idea of being run over in the darkness by some passing +traveller, had power to keep me on my feet. Then I would +rest awhile, and resolve to try again; and so I hobbled +onward. It seemed an age of misery before I came to any +house; but at length my spirits revived at the sight of +brilliant lights through the windows, and the sound of +cheerful voices that fell upon my ear. + +And now I thought my troubles over for that night at +least. But no, when I asked permission to stay over night, +it was coldly refused. Again and again I called at houses +where the people seemed to enjoy all the comforts and +even the luxuries of life; but their comforts were for +themselves and not for a toil-worn traveller like me. +This I was made to understand in no gentle manner; and +some of those I called upon were not very particular in +the choice of language. + +By this time my feet were dreadfully swollen, and O! so +sore and stiff, that every step produced the most intense +agony. Is it strange that I felt as though life was hardly +worth preserving? I resolved to call at one house more, +and if again refused, to lie down by the wayside and die. +I accordingly entered the village hotel and asked for +the landlady. The bar-tender gave me a suspicious glance +that made me tremble, and asked my business. I told him +my business was with the landlady and no other person. +He left the room a moment, and then conducted me to her +chamber. + +As I entered a lady came forward to meet me, and the +pleasant expression of her countenance at once won my +confidence. She gave me a cordial welcome, saying, with +a smile, as she led me to a seat, "I guess, my dear, you +are a run-a-way, are you not?" I confessed that it was +even so; that I had fled from priestly cruelty, had +travelled as far as I could, and now, weary, sick, and +faint from long fasting, I had ventured to cast myself +upon her mercy. "Will you protect me?" I asked, "and are +you a Roman Catholic?" "No," she replied, "I am not a +Roman Catholic, and I will protect you. You seem to have +suffered much, and are quite exhausted. But you will find +a friend in me. I will not betray you, for I dislike the +priests and the convents as much as you do." + +She then called her little girl, and ordered a fire +kindled in another chamber, saying she did not wish her +servants to see me. The child soon returned, when the +lady herself conducted me to a large, pleasant bed-room, +handsomely furnished with every convenience, and a fire +in the grate. She gave me a seat in a large easy-chair +before the fire, and went out, locking the door after +her. In a short time she returned with warm water for a +bath, and with her own hands gave me all the assistance +needed. As I related the incidents of the day, she +expressed much sympathy for my sufferings, and said she +was glad I had come to her. She gave, me a cordial, and +then brought me a cup of tea and other refreshments, of +which I made a hearty supper. She would not allow me to +eat all I wished; but when I had taken as much as was +good for me, she bathed my feet with a healing wash, and +assisted me to bed. O, the luxury of that soft and +comfortable bed! No one can realize with what a keen +sense of enjoyment I laid my head upon those downy pillows, +unless they have suffered as I did, and known by experience +the sweetness of repose after excessive toil. + +All that night this good lady sat beside my bed, and kept +my feet wet in order to reduce the swelling. I was little +inclined to sleep, and at her request related some of +the events of my convent life. While doing this, I hardly +knew what to make of this curious woman. Sometimes she +would weep, and then she would swear like any pirate. I +was surprised and somewhat afraid of her, she seemed so +strange and used such peculiar language. She understood +my feelings at once, and immediately said, "You need not +be afraid of me, for I have a kind heart, if I do use +wicked words. I cannot help swearing when I think about +the priests, monsters of iniquity that they are; what +fearful crimes they do commit under the cloak of religion! +O, if the people of this land could but see their real +character, they would rise en masse and drive them from +the country, whose liberties they will, if possible, +destroy. For myself I have good cause to hate them. Shall +I tell you my story, dear?" I begged her to do so, which +she did, as follows: + +"I once had a sister, young, talented, beautiful, amiable +and affectionate. She was the pride of all our family, +the idol of our souls. She wished for an education, and +we gladly granted her request. In our zeal to serve her, +we resolved to give her the very best advantages, and so +we sent her to a Romish school. It was a seminary for +young ladies taught by nuns, and was the most popular +one in that part of the country. My father, like many +other parents who knew such establishments only by report, +had not the least idea of its true character. But deluded +by the supposed sanctity of the place, he was happy in +the thought that he had left his darling where it was +said that 'science and religion go hand in hand.' For a +season, all went on well. She wrote to us that she was +pleased with the school, and wished to remain. We thought +her hand writing wonderfully improved, and eagerly looked +forward to the time when she would return to us a finished +scholar, as well as an accomplished lady. But those +pleasant prospects were soon overcast. Too soon, our +happy, bounding hearts were hushed by unspeakable grief, +and our brilliant anticipations were dissipated in the +chamber of death. In their place came those solemn +realities, the shroud, the coffin, the hearse and the +tomb." + +"Did she die?" I asked. "Yes," replied the lady, as she +wiped away the fast flowing tears; "Yes, she died. I +believe she was poisoned, but we could do nothing; we +had no proof. She had been long at school before we +suspected the deception that was practised upon us. But +at length I went with my other sister to see her, and +the Superior informed us that she was ill, and could not +see us. We proposed going to her room, but to our great +surprise were assured that such a thing could not be +allowed. We left with sad hearts, and soon called again. +I cannot describe my feelings when we were coldly informed +that she did not wish to see us. What could it mean? +Surely something must be wrong; and we left with terrible +presentiments of coming evil. It came. Yes, too soon were +our worst fears realized. I called one day resolved to +see her before I left the house. Conceive, if you can, +my surprise and horror, when they told me that my beautiful, +idolized sister had resolved to become a nun. That she +had already renounced the world, and would hold no further +communication with her relatives. "Why did I not know +this before? I exclaimed." "You know it now," was the +cold reply. I did not believe a word of it, and when I +told my father what they said, he went to them, and +resolutely demanded his child. At first they refused to +give her up, but when they saw that his high spirit was +aroused--that he would not be flattered or deceived, they +reluctantly yielded to his demand." + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +LANDLADY'S STORY CONTINUED. + +The poor girl was overjoyed to meet her friends again, +but how great was our astonishment and indignation when +she informed us that she had never received a single line +from home after she entered the school, nor did she ever +know that we had called to see her until we informed her +of the fact. Whenever she expressed surprise that she +did not hear from us, they told her that we had probably +forgotten her, and strove to awaken in her mind feelings +of indignation, suspicion and animosity. Not succeeding +in this, however, they informed her that her father had +called, and expressed a wish that she should become a +nun; that he did not think it best for her to return home +again, nor did he even ask for a parting interview. + +Confounded and utterly heart-broken, she would have given +herself up to uncontrollable grief had she been allowed +to indulge her feelings. But even the luxury of tears +was forbidden, and she was compelled to assume an appearance +of cheerfulness, and to smile when her heart-strings were +breaking. We brought forward the letters we had received +from time to time which we believed she had written. She +had never seen them, before, "and this," said she, "is +not my hand-writing." Of this fact she soon convinced +us, but she said she had written letter after letter +hoping for an answer, but no answer came. She said she +knew that the Superior examined all the letters written +by the young ladies, but supposed they were always sent, +after being read. But it was now plain to be seen that +those letters were destroyed, and others substituted in +their place. + +[Footnote: Raffaele Ciocci, formerly a Benedictine Monk, +in his "Narrative," published by the American and Foreign +Christian Union, relates a similar experience of his own, +when in the Papal College of San Bernardo. + +Being urged to sign "a deed of humility," in which he +was to renounce all his property and give it to the +college, he says, "I knew not what to think of this "deed +of humility." A thousand misgivings filled my mind, and +hoping to receive from the notary an explanation that +would assist me in fully comprehending its intention, I +anxiously said, "I must request, sir, that you will inform +me what is expected from me. Tell me what is this deed-- +whether it be really a mere form, as has been represented +to me, or if"--Here the master arose, and in an imperious +tone interrupted me, saying,--"Do not be obstinate and +rebellions, but obey. I have already told you that when +you assume the habit of the Order, the chapter 'de +humititate' shall be explained to you. In this paper +you have only to make a renunciation of all you possess +on earth." + +"Of all I possess! And if I renounce all, who, when I +leave the college, will provide for me?" The notary now +interposed. "That," said he, "is the point to which I +wish to call your attention, in advising you to make some +reservation. If you neglect to do so, you may find yourself +in difficulties, losing, as you irrevocably will, every +right of your own." At these words, so palpable, so +glaring, the bandage fell from my eyes, and I saw the +abyss these monsters were opening under my feet. "This +is a deception, a horrible deception," I exclaimed. "I +now understand the 'deed of humility,' but I protest I +will not sign it, I will have nothing more to do with +it." * * * After spending two or three hours in bitterness +and woe, I resolved to have recourse to my family. For +this purpose I wrote a long letter to my mother, in which +I exposed all the miseries of my heart, related what had +taken place with regard to the "deed of humility," and +begged of her consolation and advice. I gave the letter +into the hands of a servant, and on the following morning +received a reply, in which I was told, in gentle, terms, +to be tranquil,--not to resist the wishes of my directors, +--sign unhesitatingly any paper that might be required, +for, when my studies were completed, and I quitted the +college, the validity of these forms would cease. This +letter set all my doubts at rest, and restored peace to +my mind. It was written by my mother, and she, I felt +assured, would never deceive me. How could I for one +moment imagine that this epistle was an invention of my +enemies, who imitated the hand-writing and affectionate +style of my mother? Some persons will say, you might have +suspected it. * * * I reply, that in the uprightness of +my heart, I could not conceive such atrocious wickedness; +it appeared utterly irreconcilable with the sanctity of +the place, and with the venerable hoariness of persons +dedicated to God. + +After perusing the letter, I hastened to the master, +declaring my readiness to sign the "deed of humility." +He smiled approvingly on finding how well his plan had +succeeded. The notary and witnesses were again summoned, +and my condemnation written. The good notary, however, +pitying my situation, inserted an exceptional clause to +the total relinquishment of my rights. * * * No sooner +was this business concluded, than the master commanded +me to write to my parents, to inform them that I had +signed the deed of renunciation, and was willing, for +the benefit of my soul, to assume the monkish habit. He +was present when I wrote this letter; I was, therefore, +obliged to adopt the phrases suggested by him,--phrases, +breathing zeal and devotion; full of indifference to the +world, and tranquil satisfaction at the choice I had +made. My parents, thought I, will be astonished when they +read this epistle, but they must perceive that the language +is not mine, so little is it in accordance with my former +style of writing. + +Reader, in the course of thirteen months, only one, of +from fifty to sixty letters which I addressed to my +mother, was ever received by her, and that one was this +very letter. The monks, instead of forwarding mine, had +forged letters imitating the hand-writing, and adopting +a style suited to their purpose; and instead of consigning +to me the genuine replies, they artfully substituted +answers of their own fabrication. My family, therefore, +were not surprised at the tenor of this epistle, but +rejoiced over it, and reputed me already a Saint. They +probably pictured me to themselves, on some future day, +with a mitre on my head--with the red cap--nay, perhaps, +even wearing the triple crown. Oh, what a delusion! Poor +deceived parents! You knew not that your son, in anguish +and despair, was clashing his chains, and devouring his +tears in secret; that a triple bandage was placed before +his eyes, and that he was being dragged, an unwilling +victim, to the sacrifice." Returning home soon after, +Ciocci rushed to his mother, and asked if she had his +letters. They, were produced; when he found that only +one had been written by him. The rest were forgeries of +the masters.] + +"It follows then," said my father, "that these letters +are forgeries, and the excuses they have so often made +are base falsehoods. A teacher of the religion of Jesus +Christ guilty of lying and forgery! 'O, my soul come +not thou into their secret; unto their assembly mine +honor be thou not united.'" + +"But we have our darling home again," said I, "and now +we shall keep her with us." Never shall I forget the +sweet, sad smile that came over her pale face as I uttered +these words. Perchance, even then she realized that she +was soon to leave us, never more to return. However this +may be, she gradually declined. Slowly, but surely she +went down to the grave. Every remedy was tried--every +measure resorted to, that seemed to promise relief, but +all in vain. We had the best physicians, but they frankly +confessed that they did not understand her disease. In +a very few months after her return, we laid our lovely +and beloved sister beneath the clods of the valley. Our +good old physician wept as he gazed upon her cold remains. +I believe he thought she was poisoned, but as he could +not prove it, he would only have injured himself by saying +so. As for myself, I always thought that she knew too +many of their secrets to be allowed to live after leaving +them. "And now, dear," she continued, "do you think it +strange that I hate the Romanists? Do you wonder if I +feel like swearing when I think of priests and convents?" + +Truly, I did not wonder that she hated them, though I +could not understand what benefit it could be to swear +about it; but I did not doubt the truth of her story. +How often, in the convent from which I fled, had I heard +them exult over the success of some deep laid scheme to +entrap the ignorant, the innocent and the unwary! If a +girl was rich or handsome, as sure as she entered their +school, so sure was she to become a nun, unless she had +influential friends to look after her and resolutely +prevent it. To effect this, no means were left untried. +The grossest hypocricy, and the meanest deception were +practised to prevent a girl from holding communication +with any one out of the convent No matter how lonely, or +how homesick she might feel, she was not allowed to see +her friends, or even to be informed of their kind +attentions. So far from this, she was made to believe, +if possible, that her relatives had quite forsaken her, +while these very relatives were boldly informed that she +did not wish to see them. If they wrote to their friends, +as they sometimes did, their letters were always destroyed, +while those received at home were invariably written by +the priest or Superior. These remarks, however, refer +only to those who are rich, or beautiful in person. Many +a girl can say with truth that she has attended the +convent school, and no effort was ever made--no inducement +ever presented to persuade her to become a nun. +Consequently, she says that stories like the above are +mere falsehoods, reported to injure the school. This may +be true so far as she is concerned, but you may be sure +she has neither riches nor beauty, or if possessed of +these, there was some other strong reason why she should +be an exception to the general rule. Could she know the +private history of some of her school-mates, she would +tell a different story. + +I remember that while in the convent, I was one day sent +up stairs to assist a Superior in a chamber remote from +the kitchen, and in a part of the house where I had never +been before. Returning alone to the kitchen, I passed a +door that was partly open, and hearing a slight groan +within, I pushed open the door and looked in, before I +thought what I was doing. A young girl lay upon a bed, +who looked more like a corpse than a living person. She +saw me, and motioned to have me come to her. + +As I drew near the bed, she burst into tears, and whispered, +"Can't you get me a drink of cold water?" I told her I +did not know, but I would try. I hastened to the kitchen, +and as no one was present but a nun whom I did not fear, +I procured a pitcher of water, and went back with it +without meeting any one on the way. I was well aware that +if seen, I should be punished, but I did not care. I was +doing as I would wish others to do to me, and truly, I +had my reward. Never shall I forget how grateful that +poor sufferer was for a draught of cold water. She could +not tell how many days she had been fasting, for some of +the time she had been insensible; but it must have been +several days, and she did not know how long she was to +remain in that condition. + +"How came you here?" I asked, in a whisper; "and what +have you done to induce them to punish you so?" "O," said +she, with a burst of tears, and grasping my hand with +her pale, cold fingers, "I was in the school, and I +thought it would be so nice to be a nun! Then my father +died and left me all his property, and they persuaded me +to stay here, and give it all to the church. I was so +sad then I did not care for money, and I had no idea what +a place it is. I really thought that the nuns were pure +and holy--that their lives were devoted to heaven, their +efforts consecrated to the cause of truth and righteousness. +I thought that this was indeed the 'house of God,' the +very 'gate of heaven.' But as soon as they were sure of +me, they let me know--but you understand me; you know +what I mean?" I nodded assent, and once more asked, "What +did you do?" "O, I was in the school," said she, "and I +knew that a friend of mine was coming here just as I did; +and I could not bear to see her, in all her loveliness +and unsuspecting innocence, become a victim to these vile +priests. I found an opportunity to let her know what a +hell she was coming to. 'Twas an unpardonable sin, you +see. I had robbed the church--committed sacrilege, they +said--and they have almost killed me for it. I wish they +would QUITE, for I am sure death has no terrors for me +now. God will never punish me for what I have done. But +go; don't stay any longer; they'll kill you if they catch +you here." I knew that she had spoken truly--they WOULD +kill me, almost, if not quite, if they found me there; +but I must know a little more. "Did you save your friend?" +I asked, "or did you both have to suffer, to pay for your +generous act?" "Did I save her? Yes, thank God, I did. +She did not come, and she promised not to tell of me. I +don't think she did; but they managed to find it out, I +don't know how; and now--O God, let me die!" I was obliged +to go, and I left her, with a promise to carry her some +bread if I could. But I could not, and I never saw her +again. Yet what a history her few words unfolded! It was +so much like the landlady's story, I could not forbear +relating it to her. She seemed much interested in all my +convent adventures; and in this way we spent the night. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +THE TWO SISTERS. + +Next morning the lady informed me that I could not remain +with her in safety, but she had a sister, who lived about +half a mile distant, with whom I could stop until my feet +were sufficiently healed to enable me to resume my journey. +She then sent for her sister, who very kindly, as I then +thought, acceded to her request, and said I was welcome +to stay with her as long as I wished. Arrangements were +therefore made at once for my removal. My kind hostess +brought two large buffalo robes into my chamber, which +she wrapped around my person in such a way as to shield +me from the observation of the servants. She then called +one whom she could trust, and bade him take up the bundle +and carry it down to a large covered wagon that stood at +the door. I have often wondered whether the man knew what +was in that bundle or not. I do not think he did, for he +threw me across his shoulder as he would any bale of +merchandise, and laid me on the bottom of the carriage. +The two ladies then entered, laughing heartily at the +success of their ruse, and joking me about my novel mode +of conveyance. In this manner we were driven to the +sister's residence, and I was carried into the house by +the servants, in the same way. The landlady stopped for +a few moments, and when she left she gave me cloth for +a new dress, a few other articles of clothing, and three +dollars in money. She bade me stay there and make my +dress, and on no account venture out again in my nun +dress. She wished me success in my efforts to escape, +commended me to the care of our heavenly Father, and bade +me farewell. She returned in the wagon alone, and left +me to make the acquaintance of my new hostess. + +This lady was a very different woman from her sister, +and I soon had reason to regret that I was in her power. +It has been suggested to me that the two ladies acted in +concert; that I was removed for the sole purpose of being +betrayed into the hands of my enemies. But I am not +willing to believe this. Dark as human nature appears to +me--accustomed as I am to regard almost every one with +suspicion--still I cannot for one moment cherish a thought +so injurious to one who was so kind to me. Is it possible +that she could be such a hypocrite? Treat me with so much +tenderness, and I might say affection, and then give me +up to what was worse than death? No; whatever the reader +may think about it, I can never believe her guilty of +such perfidy. I regret exceedingly my inability to give +the name of this lady in connection with the history of +her good deeds, but I did not learn the name of either +sister. The one to whom I was now indebted for a shelter +seemed altogether careless of my interests. I had been +with her but a few hours when she asked me to do some +washing for her. Of course I was glad to do it; but when +she requested me to go into the yard and hang the clothes +upon the line, I became somewhat alarmed. I did not like +to do it, and told her so; but she laughed at my fears, +overruled all my objections, said no one in that place +would seek to harm or to betray me, and assured me there +was not the least danger. I at last consented to go, +though my reason, judgment, and inclination, had I followed +their dictates, would have kept me in the house. But I +did not like to appear ungrateful, or unwilling to repay +the kindness I received, as far as I was able; still I +could not help feeling that it was an ungenerous demand. +She might at least have offered me a bonnet or a shawl, +as a partial disguise; but she did nothing of the kind. + +When I saw that I could not avoid the exposure I resolved +to make the best of it and get through as quickly, as +possible; but my dress attracted a good deal of attention, +and I saw more than one suspicious glance directed towards +me before my task was finished. When it was over I thought +no more about it, but gave myself up to the bright +anticipations of future happiness, which now began to +take possession of my mind. + +That night I retired to a comfortable bed, and was soon +lost to all earthly cares in the glorious land of dreams. +What unalloyed happiness I enjoyed that night! what +impossible feats I performed! Truly, the vision was +bright, but a sad awaking followed. Some time in the +night I was aroused by the flashing of a bright light +from a dark lantern suddenly opened. I attempted to rise, +but before I could realize where I was, a strong hand +seized me and a gag was thrust into my mouth. The man +attempted to take me in his arms, but with my hands and +feet I defended myself to the best of my ability. Another +man now came to his assistance, and with strong cords +confined my hands and feet, so that I was entirely at +their mercy. Perfectly helpless, I could neither resist +nor call for help. They then took me up and carried me +down stairs, with no clothing but my night-dress, not +even a shawl to shield me from the cold night air. + +At the gate stood a long covered wagon, in form like a +butchers cart, drawn by two horses, and beside it a long +box with several men standing around it. I had only time +to observe this, when they thrust me into the box, closed +the lid, placed it in the wagon, and drove rapidly away. +I could not doubt for a moment into whose hands I had +fallen, and when they put me into the box, I wished I +might suffocate, and thus end my misery at once. But +they had taken good care to prevent this by boring holes +in the box, which admitted air enough to keep up +respiration. And this was the result of all my efforts +for freedom! After all I had suffered in making my escape, +it was a terrible disappointment to be thus cruelly +betrayed, gagged, bound, and boxed up like an article of +merchandise, carried back to certain torture, and perchance +to death. O, blame me not, gentle reader, if in my haste, +and the bitter disappointment and anguish of my spirit, +I questioned the justice of the power that rules the +world. Nor let your virtuous indignation wax hot against +me if I confess to you, that I even doubted the existence +of that power. How often had I cried to God for help! +Why were my prayers and tears disregarded? What had I +done to deserve such a fife of misery? These, and similar +thoughts occupied my mind during that lonely midnight +ride. + +We arrived at St. Regis before the first Mass in the +morning. The box was then taken into the chapel, where +they took me out and carried me into the church. I was +seated at the foot of the altar, with my hands and feet +fast bound, the gag still in my mouth, and no clothing +on, but my night-dress. Two men stood beside me, and I +remained here until the priest had said mass and the +people retired from the church. He then came down from +the altar, and said to the men beside me, "Well, you have +got her." "Yes Sir," they replied, "what shall we do with +her?" "Put her on the five o'clock boat," said he, "and +let the other men go with her to Montreal. I want you to +stay here, and be ready to go the other way tonight" This +priest was an Indian, but he spoke the English language +correctly and fluently. He seemed to feel some pity for +my forlorn condition, and as they were about to carry me +away he brought a large shawl, and wrapped it around me, +for which I was truly grateful. + +At the appointed time, I was taken on board the boat, +watched very closely by the two men who had me in charge. +There was need enough of this, for I would very gladly +have thrown myself into the water, had I not been prevented. +Once and again I attempted it, but the men held me back. +For this, I am now thankful, but at that time my life +appeared of so little importance, and the punishments I +knew were in reserve for me seemed so fearful, I voluntarily +chose "strangling and death rather than life." The captain +and sailors were all Romanists, and seemed to vie with +each other in making me as unhappy as possible They made +sport of my "new fashioned clothing," and asked if I "did +not wish to run away again?" When they found I did not +notice them they used the most abusive and scurrilous +language, mingled with vulgar and profane expressions, +which may not be repeated. The men who had charge of me, +and who should have protected me from such abuse, so far +from doing it, joined in the laugh, and appeared to think +it a pleasant amusement to ridicule and vex a poor helpless +fugitive. May God forgive them for their cruelty, and in +the hour of their greatest need, may they meet with the +kindness they refused to me. + +At Lachine we changed boats and took another to Montreal. +When we arrived there, three priests were waiting for +us. Their names I perfectly remember, but I am not sure +that I can spell them correctly. Having never learned +while in the nunnery, to read, or spell anything except +a simple prayer, it is not strange if I do make mistakes, +when attempting to give names from memory. I can only +give them as they were pronounced. They were called +Father Kelly, Dow, and Conroy. All the priests were +called father, of whatever age they might be. + +As we proceeded from the boat to the Nunnery, one of the +priests went before us while the others walked beside +me, leading me between them. People gazed at us as we +passed, but they did not dare to insult, or laugh at me, +while in such respectable company. Yet, methinks it must +have been a ludicrous sight to witness so much parade +for a poor run-a-way nun. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +CHOICE OF PUNISHMENTS. + +On our arrival at the Nunnery, I was left alone for half +an hour. Then the Bishop came in with the Lady Superior, +and the Abbess who had charge of the kitchen when I left. +The Bishop read to me three punishments of which he said, +I could take my choice. First.--To fast five days in the +fasting room. Second.--To suffer punishment in the lime +room. Third.--To fast four days, in the cell. As I knew +nothing of these places except the cell, a priest was +directed to take me to them, that I might see for myself, +and then take my choice. At first, I thought I did not +care, and I said I had no choice about it; but when I +came to see the rooms, I was thankful that I was not +allowed to abide by that decision. Certainly, I had no +idea what was before me. + +I was blindfolded, and taken to the lime room first. I +think it must have been situated at a great distance from +the room we left, for he led me down several flights of +stairs, and through long, low passages, where it was +impossible to stand erect. At length we entered a room +where the atmosphere seemed laden with hot vapor. My +blinder was removed, and I found myself in a pleasant +room some fifteen feet square. There was no furniture of +any kind, but a wide bench, fastened to the wall, extended +round three sides of the room. The floor looked like one +solid block of dark colored marble; not a crack or seam +to be seen in it, but it was clouded, highly polished, +and very beautiful. Around the sides of the room, a +great number of hooks and chains were fastened to the +wall, and a large hook hung in the center overhead. Near +the door stood two men, with long iron bars, some two +inches square, on their shoulders. + +The priest directed me to stand upon the bench, and +turning to the men, he bade them raise the door. They +put down their bars, and I suppose touched a concealed +spring, for the whole floor at once flew up, and fastened +to the large hook over head. Surprised and terrified, I +stood wondering what was to come next. At my feet yawned +a deep pit, from which, arose a suffocating vapor, so +hot, it almost scorched my face and nearly stopped my +breath. The priest pointed to the heaving, tumbling +billows of smoke that were rolling below, and; asked, +"How would you like to be thrown into the lime?" "Not at +all," I gasped, in a voice scarcely audible, "it would +burn me to death." I suppose he thought I was sufficiently +frightened, for he bade his men close the door. This +they did by slowly letting down the floor, and I could +see that it was in some way supported by the chains +attached to the walls but in what manner I do not know. + +I was nearly suffocated by the lime smoke that filled +the room, and though I knew not what was in reserve for +me, I was glad when my blinder was put on, and I was led +away. I think we returned the same way we came, and +entered another room where the scent was so very offensive, +that I begged to be taken out immediately. Even before +my eyes were uncovered, and I knew nothing of the loathsome +objects by which we were surrounded, I felt that I could +not endure to breathe an atmosphere so deadly. But the +sight that met my eyes when my blinder was removed, I +cannot describe, nor the sensations with which I gazed +upon it. I can only give the reader some faint idea of +the place, which, they said, was called the fasting room, +and here incorrigible offenders fasted until they starved +to death. Nor was this all. Their dead bodies were not +even allowed a decent burial, but were suffered to remain +in the place where they died, until the work of death +was complete and dust returned to dust. Thus the atmosphere +became a deadly poison to the next poor victim who was +left to breathe the noxious effluvia of corruption and +decay. I am well aware that my reader will hardly credit +my statements, but I do solemnly affirm that I relate +nothing but the truth. In this room were placed several +large iron kettles, so deep that a person could sit in +them, and many of them contained the remains of human +beings. In one the corpse looked as though it had been +dead but a short time. Others still sat erect in the +kettle, but the flesh was dropping from the bones. Every +stage of decay was here represented, from the commencement, +till nothing but a pile of bones was left of the poor +sufferer. + +Conceive, if you can, with what feelings I gazed upon +these disgusting relics of the dead. Even now, my blood +chills in my veins, as memory recalls the fearful sight, +or as, in sleep, I live over again the dread realities +of that hour. Was I to meet a fate like this? I might, +perchance, escape it for that time, but what assurance +had I that I was not ultimately destined to such an end? +These thoughts filled my mind, as I followed the priest +from the room; and for a long time I continued to speculate +upon what I had seen. They called it the fasting room; +but if fasting were the only object, why were they placed +in those kettles, instead of being allowed to sit on +chairs or benches, or even on the floor? And why placed +in IRON kettles? Why were they not made of wood? It would +have answered the purpose quite as well, if fasting or +starvation were the only objects in view. Then came the +fearful suggestion, were these kettles ever heated? And +was that floor made of stone or iron? The thought was +too shocking to be cherished for a moment; but I could +not drive it from my mind. + +I was again blindfolded, and taken to a place they called +a cell. But it was quite different from the one I was in +before. We descended several steps as we entered it, and +instead of the darkness I anticipated, I found myself in +a large room with sufficient light to enable me to see +every object distinctly. One end of a long chain was +fastened around my waist, and the other firmly secured +to an iron ring in the floor; but the chain, though large +and heavy, was long enough to allow me to go all over +the room. I could not see how it was lighted, but it must +have been in some artificial manner, for it was quite as +light at night, as in the day. Here were instruments of +various kinds, the use of which, I did not understand; +some of them lying on the floor, others attached to the +sides of the room. One of them was made in the form of +a large fish, but of what material I do not know. It was +of a bright flesh color, and fastened to a board on the +floor. If I pressed my foot upon the board, it would put +in motion some machinery within, which caused it to spring +forward with a harsh, jarring sound like the rumbling of +the cars. At the same time its eyes would roll round, +and its mouth open, displaying a set of teeth so large +and long that I was glad to keep at a safe distance. I +wished to know whether it would really bite me or not, +but it looked so frightful I did not dare to hazard the +experiment. + +Another so nearly resembled a large serpent, I almost +thought it was one; but I found it moved only when touched +in a certain manner. Then it would roll over, open its +mouth, and run out its tongue. There was another that I +cannot describe, for I never saw anything that looked +like it. It was some kind of a machine, and the turning +of a crank made it draw together in such a way, that if +a person were once within its embrace, the pressure would +soon arrest the vital current, and stop the breath of +life. Around the walls of the room were chains, rings +and hooks, almost innumerable; but I did not know their +use, and feared to touch them. I believed them all to +be instruments of torture, and I thought they gave me a +long chain in the hope and expectation that my curiosity +would lead me into some of the numerous traps the room +contained. + +Every morning the figure I had seen beside the dying nun, +which they called the devil, came to my cell, and unlocking +the door himself, entered, and walked around me, laughing +heartily, and seeming much pleased to find me there. He +would blow white froth from his mouth, but he never spoke +to me, and when he went out, he locked the door after +him and took away the key. He was, in fact, very thoughtful +and prudent, but it will be long before I believe that +he came as they pretended, from the spirit world. So far +from being frightened, the incident was rather a source +of amusement. Such questions as the following would force +themselves upon my mind. If that image is really the +devil, where did he get that key? And what will he do +with it? Does the devil hold the keys of this nunnery, +so that he can come and go as he pleases? Or, are the +priests on such friendly terms with his satanic majesty +that they lend him their keys? Or, do they hold them as +partners? Gentlemen of the Grey Nunnery, please tell us +how it is about those keys. + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +HORRORS OF STARVATION. + +One day a woman came into my cell, dressed in white, a +white cap on her head, and so very pale she looked more +like a corpse than a living person. She came up to me +with her mouth wide open, and stood gazing at me for a +moment in perfect silence. She then asked, "Where have +you been?" "Into the world," I replied. "How did you like +the world?" "Very well," said I. She paused a moment, +and then asked, "Did you find your friends?" "No, ma'am," +said I, "I did not." Another pause, and then she said, +"Perhaps you will if you go again." "No," I replied, "I +shall not try again." "You had better try it once more," +she added, and I thought there was a slight sneer in her +tone; "Perhaps you may succeed better another time." +"No," I replied, "I shall not try to run away from the +nunnery again. I should most assuredly be caught and +brought back, and then they would make me suffer so much, +I assure you I shall never do it again." She looked at +me a moment as though she would read my very soul, and +said, "And so you did not find your friends, after all, +did you?" I again told her that I did not, and she seemed +satisfied with the result of her questioning. When she +came in, I was pleased to see her, and thought I would +ask her for something to eat, or at least for a little +cold water. But she seemed so cold-hearted, so entirely +destitute of sympathy or kind feeling, I had no courage +to speak to her, for I felt that it would do no good. +Perhaps I misjudged her. I knew from her looks that she +must have been a great sufferer; but I have heard it said +that extreme suffering sometimes hardens instead of +softening the heart, and I believe it. It seemed to me +that this woman had suffered so much herself, that every +kind feeling was crushed out of her soul. I was glad when +she left me, locking the door after her. + +Four days they kept me in this cell, and for five days +and nights I had not tasted food or drink. I endured the +most intolerable agonies from hunger and thirst. The +suffering produced by hunger, when it becomes actual +starvation, is far beyond anything that I can imagine. +There is no other sensation that can be compared to it, +and no language can describe it. One must feel it in +order to realize what it is. The first two days I amused +myself by walking round my room and trying to conjecture +the use to which the various instruments were applied. +Then I became so weak I could only think of eating and +drinking. I sometimes fell asleep, but only to dream of +loaded tables and luxurious feasts. Yet I could never +taste the luxuries thus presented. Whenever I attempted +to do so, they would be snatched away, or I would wake +to find it all a dream. Driven to a perfect frenzy by +the intensity of my sufferings, I would gladly have eaten +my own flesh. Well was it for me that no sharp instrument +was at hand, for as a last resort I more than once +attempted to tear open my veins with my teeth. + +This severe paroxysm passed away, and I sank into a state +of partial unconsciousness, in which I remained until I +was taken out of the cell. I do not believe I should have +lived many hours longer, nor should I ever have been +conscious of much more suffering. With me the "bitterness +of death had passed," and I felt disappointed and almost +angry to be recalled to a life of misery. I begged them +to allow me to die. It was the only boon I craved. But +this would have been too merciful; moreover, they did +not care to lose my services in the kitchen. I was a good +drudge for them, and they wished to restore me on the +same principle that a farmer would preserve the life of +a valuable horse. + +I do not remember leaving the cell. The first thing I +realized they were placing me in a chair in the kitchen, +and allowed me to lean my head upon the table. They gave +me some gruel, and I soon revived so that I could sit up +in my chair and speak in a whisper. But it was some hours +before I could stand on my feet or speak loud. An Abbess +was in the kitchen preparing bread and wine for the +priests (they partake of these refreshments every day at +ten in the morning and three in the afternoon). She +brought a pailful of wine and placed it on the table near +me, and left a glass standing beside it. When she turned +away, I took the glass, dipped up a little of the wine, +and drank it. She saw me do it, but said not a word, and +I think she left it there for that purpose. The wine was +very strong, and my stomach so weak, I soon began to feel +sick, and asked permission to go to bed. They took me up +in their arms and carried me to my old room and laid me +on the bed. Here they left me, but the Abbess soon returned +with some gruel made very palatable with milk and sugar. +I was weak, and my hand trembled so that I could not feed +myself; but the Abbess kindly sat beside me and fed me +until I was satisfied. I had nothing more to eat until +the next day at eleven o'clock, when the Abbess again +brought me some bread and gruel, and a cup of strong tea. +She requested me to drink the tea as quick as possible, +and then she concealed the mug in which she brought it + +I was now able to feed myself, and you may be sure I had +an excellent appetite, and was not half so particular +about my food as some persons I have since known. I lay +in bed till near night, when I rose, dressed myself +without assistance, and went down to the kitchen. I was +so weak and trembled so that I could hardly manage to +get down stairs; but I succeeded at last, for a strong +will is a wonderful incentive to efficient action. + +In the kitchen I met the Lady Superior. She saw how weak +I was, and as she assisted me to a chair, she said, "I +should not have supposed that you could get down here +alone. Have you had anything to eat to-day?" I was about +to say yes, but one of the nuns shook her head at me, +and I replied "No." She then brought some bread and wine, +requesting me to eat it quick, for fear some of the +priests might come in and detect us. Thus I saw that she +feared the priests as well as the rest of us. Truly, it +was a terrible crime she bad committed! No wonder she +was afraid of being caught! Giving a poor starved nun +a piece of bread, and then obliged to conceal it as she +would have done a larceny or a murder! Think of it, +reader, and conceive, if you can, the state of that +community where humanity is a crime--where mercy is +considered a weakness of which one should be ashamed! If +a pirate or a highwayman had been guilty of treating a +captive as cruelly as I was treated by those priests, he +would have been looked upon as an inhuman monster, and +at once given up to the strong grasp of the law. But when +it is done by a priest, under the cloak of Religion, and +within the sacred precincts of a nunnery, people cry out, +when the tale is told, "Impossible!" "What motive could +they have had?" "It cannot be true," etc. But whether +the statement is believed or otherwise, it is a fact that +in the Grey Nunnery at Montreal the least exhibition of +a humane spirit was punished as a crime. The nun who was +found guilty of showing mercy to a fellow-sufferer was +sure to find none herself. + +From this time I gained very fast, for the Abbess saw +how hungry I was, and she would either put food in my +way, or give me privately what I wished to eat. In two +weeks I was able to go to work in the kitchen again. But +those I had formerly seen there were gone. I never knew +what became of the sick nun, nor could I learn anything +about the one who ran away with me. I thought that the +men who brought me to St. Regis, were kept there to go +after her, but I do not know whether they found her or +not. For myself, I promised so solemnly, and with such +apparent sincerity, that I would never leave the nunnery +again, I was believed and trusted. Had I been kindly +treated, had my life been even tolerable, my conscience +would have reproached me for deceiving them, but as it +was, I felt that I was more "sinned against, than sinning." +I could not think it wrong to get away, if the opportunity +presented, and for this I was constantly on the watch. +Every night I lay awake long after all the rest were +buried in slumber, trying to devise some plan, by which +I could once more regain my liberty. And who can blame +me? Having just tasted the sweets of freedom, how could +I be content to remain in servitude all my life? Many a +time have I left my bed at night, resolved to try to +escape once more, but the fear of detection would deter +me from the attempt. + +In the discharge of my daily duties, I strove to the +utmost of my ability to please my employers. I so far +succeeded, that for five weeks after my return I escaped +punishment. Then, I made a slight mistake about my work, +though I verily thought I was doing it according to the +direction. For this, I was told that I must go without +two meals, and spend three days in the torture room. I +supposed it was the same room I was in before, but I was +mistaken. I was taken into the kitchen cellar, and down +a flight of stairs to another room directly under it. +From thence, a door opened into another subterranean +apartment which they called the torture room. These doors +were so constructed, that a casual observer would not be +likely to notice them. I had been in that cellar many +times, but never saw that door until I was taken through +it. A person might live in the nunnery a life-time, and +never see or hear anything of such a place. I presume +those visitors who call at the school-rooms, go over a +part of the house, and leave with the impression that +the convent is a nice place, will never believe my +statements about this room. Nor can we wonder at their +skepticism. It is exceedingly difficult for pure minds +to conceive how any human being can be so fearfully +depraved. Knowing the purity of their own intentions, +and judging others by themselves, it is not strange that +they regard such tales of guilt and terror as mere +fabrications, put forth to gratify the curiosity of the +wonder-loving crowd. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +THE TORTURE ROOM. + +I remember hearing a gentleman at the depot remark that +the very enormity of the crimes committed by the Romanists, +is their best protection. "For," said he, "some of their +practices are so shockingly infamous they may not even +be alluded to in the presence of the refined and the +virtuous. And if the story of their guilt were told, +who would believe the tale? Far easier would it be to +call the whole a slanderous fabrication, than to believe +that man can be so vile." + +This consideration led me to doubt the propriety of +attempting a description of what I saw in that room. But +I have engaged to give a faithful narrative of what +transpired in the nunnery; and shall I leave out a part +because it is so strange and monstrous, that people will +not believe it? No. I will tell, without the least +exaggeration what I saw, heard, and experienced. People +may not credit the story now, but a day will surely come +when they will know that I speak the truth. + +As I entered the room I was exceedingly shocked at the +horrid spectacle that met my eye. I knew that fearful +scenes were enacted in the subterranean cells, but I +never imagined anything half so terrible as this. In +various parts of the room I saw machines, and instruments +of torture, and on some of them persons were confined +who seemed to be suffering the most excruciating agony. +I paused, utterly overcome with terror, and for a moment +imagined that I was a witness to the torments, which, +the priests say, are endured by the lost, in the world +of woe. Was I to undergo such tortures, and which of +those infernal engines would be applied to me? I was not +long in doubt. The priest took hold of me and put me into +a machine that held me fast, while my feet rested on a +piece of iron which was gradually heated until both feet +were blistered. I think I must have been there fifteen +minutes, but perhaps the time seemed longer than it was. +He then took me out, put some ointment on my feet and +left me. + +I was now at liberty to examine more minutely the strange +objects around me. There were some persons in the place +whose punishment, like my own, was light compared with +others. But near me lay one old lady extended on a rack. +Her joints were all dislocated, and she was emaciated to +the last degree. I do not suppose I can describe this +rack, for I never saw anything like it. It looked like +a gridiron but was long enough for the tallest man to +lie upon. There were large rollers at each end, to which +belts were attached, with a large lever to drive them +back and forth. Upon this rack the poor woman was fastened +in such a way, that when the levers were turned and the +rollers made to revolve, every bone in her body was +displaced. Then the violent strain would be relaxed, a +little, and she was so very poor, her skin would sink +into the joints and remain there till it mortified and +corrupted. + +It was enough to melt the hardest heart to witness her +agony; but she bore it with a degree of fortitude and +patience, I could not have supposed possible, had I not +been compelled to behold it. When I entered the room +she looked up and said, "Have you come to release me, or +only to suffer with me?" I did not dare to reply, for +the priest was there, but when he left us she exclaimed, +"My child, let nothing induce you to believe this cursed +religion. It will be the death of you, and that death, +will be the death of a dog." I suppose she meant that +they would kill me as they would a dog. She then asked, +"Who put you here?" "My Father," said I. "He must have +been a brute," said she, "or he never could have done +it." At one time I happened to mention the name of God, +when she fiercely exclaimed with gestures of contempt, +"A God! You believe there is one, do you? Don't you suffer +yourself to believe any such thing. Think you that a +wise, merciful, and all powerful being would allow such +a hell as this to exist? Would he suffer me to be torn +from friends and home, from my poor children and all that +my soul holds dear, to be confined in this den of iniquity, +and tortured to death in this cruel manner? No, O, no. +He would at once destroy these monsters in human form; +he would not suffer them, for one moment, to breathe the +pure air of heaven." + +At another time she exclaimed, "O, my children! my poor +motherless children! What will become of them? God of +mercy, protect my children!" Thus, at one moment, she +would say there was no God, and the next, pray to him +for help. This did not surprise me, for she was in such +intolerable misery she did not realize what she did say. +Every few hours the priest came in, and gave the rollers +a turn, when her joints would crack and--but I cannot +describe it. The sight made me sick and faint at the +time, as the recollection of it, does now. It seemed as +though that man must have had a heart of adamant, or he +could not have done it. She would shriek, and groan, and +weep, but it did not affect him in the least. He was as +calm, and deliberate as though he had a block of wood in +his hands, instead of a human being. When I saw him +coming, I once shook my head at her, to have her stop +speaking; but when he was gone, she said, "Don't shake +your head at me; I do not fear him. He can but kill me, +and the quicker he does it the better. I would be glad +if he would put an end to my misery at once, but that +would be too merciful. He is determined to kill me by +inches, and it makes no difference what I say to him." + +She had no food, or drink, during the three days I was +there, and the priest never spoke to her. He brought me +my bread and water regularly, and I would gladly have +given it to that poor woman if she would have taken it. +But she would not accept the offer. It would only prolong +her sufferings, and she wished to die. I do not suppose +she could have lived, had she been taken out when I first +saw her. + +In another part of the room, a monk was under punishment. +He was standing in some kind of a machine, with heavy +weights attached to his feet, and a belt passed across +his breast under his arms. He appeared to be in great +distress, and no refreshment was furnished him while I +was there. + +On one side of the room, I observed a closet with a "slide +door," as the nuns called them. There were several doors +of this description in the building, so constructed as +to slide back into the ceiling out of sight. Through this +opening I could see an image resembling a monk; and +whenever any one was put in there, they would shriek, +and groan, and beg to be taken out, but I could not +ascertain the cause of their suffering. + +One day a nun was brought in to be punished. The priest +led her up to the side of the room, and bade her put her +fingers into some holes in the wall just large enough to +admit them. She obeyed but immediately drew them back +with a loud shriek. I looked to see what was the matter +with her, and lo! every nail was torn from her fingers, +which were bleeding profusely. How it was done, I do not +know. Certainly, there was no visible cause for such a +surprising effect. In all probability the fingers came +in contact with the spring of some machine on the other +side, or within the wall to which some sharp instrument +was attached. I would give much to know just how it was +constructed, and what the girl had done to subject herself +to such a terrible and unheard-of punishment. But this, +like many other things in that establishment, was wrapped +in impenetrable mystery. God only knows when the veil +will be removed, or whether it ever will be until the +day when all secret things will be brought to light. + +When the three days expired, I was taken out of this +room, but did not go to work again till my feet were +healed. I was then obliged to assist in milking the cows, +and taking care of the milk. They had a large number of +cows, I believe thirty-five, and dairy rooms, with every +thing convenient for making butter and cheese. When first +directed to go out and milk, I was pleased with the idea, +for I hoped to find and opportunity to escape; but I was +again disappointed. In the cow yard, as elsewhere, every +precaution was taken to prevent it. + +Passing out of the main yard of the convent through a +small door, I found myself in a small, neat yard, surrounded +by a high fence, so that nothing could be seen but the +sky overhead. The cows were driven in, and the door +immediately locked, so that escape from that place seemed +impossible. + +At harvest time, in company with twenty other nuns, I +was taken out into the country to the residence of the +monks. The ride out there was a great treat, and very +much enjoyed by us all. I believe it was about five miles, +through a part of the city of Montreal; the north part +I think, but I am not sure. We stopped before a large +white stone building, situated in the midst of a large +yard like the one at the nunnery. A beautiful walk paved +with stone, led from the gate to the front door, and from +thence, around the house. Within the yard, there was also +a delightful garden, with neat, well kept walks laid out +in various directions. Before the front door there stood +a large cross. I think I never saw a more charming place; +it appeared to me a perfect paradise. I heard one of the +priests say that the farm consisted of four hundred acres, +and belonged to the nunnery. The house was kept by two +widow ladies who were married before they embraced the +Romish faith. They were the only women on the place +previous to our arrival, and I think they must have found +it very laborious work to wait upon so many monks. I do +not know their number, but there was a great many of +them, besides a large family of boys, who, I suppose, +were being educated for priests or monks. + +Immediately on our arrival a part of our number were set +to work in the fields, while the rest were kept in the +house to assist the women. I hoped that I might be one +of these last, but disappointment was again my lot. I +was sent to the field with the others, and set to reaping; +a priest being stationed near, to guard us and oversee +our work. We were watched very closely, one priest having +charge of two nuns, for whose safe keeping he was +responsible. Here we labored until the harvest was all +gathered in. I dug potatoes, cut up corn and husked it, +gathered apples, and did all kinds of work that is usually +done by men in the fall of the year. Yet I was never +allowed to wear a bonnet on my head, or anything to shield +me from the piercing rays of the sun. Some days the heat +was almost intolerable, and my cap was not the least +protection, but they allowed me no other covering. + +In consequence of this exposure, my head soon became the +seat of severe neuralgic pain, which caused me at times +to linger over my work. But this was not permitted. My +movements were immediately quickened, for the work must +be done notwithstanding the severe pain. Every command +must be obeyed whatever the result. + +At night a part of our number were taken to the nunnery, +and the rest of us locked up in our rooms in the house. +We were not permitted to take our meals with the two +housekeepers, but a table was set for us in another room. +One would think that when gathering the fruit we would +be allowed to partake of it, or at least to taste it. +But this was not allowed; and as a priest's eye was ever +upon us, we dare not disobey, however much we might wish +to do so. I used to wonder if the two women who kept the +house were as severely dealt with as we were, but had no +means whereby to satisfy my curiosity. They were not +allowed to converse with us, and we might not speak to +them, or even look them in the face. Here, as at the +nunnery, we were obliged to walk with the head bent +forward a little, the eyes fixed on the floor, one hand, +if disengaged, under the cape, the other down by the +side, and on no occasion might we look a person in the +face. The two women seemed to be governed by the same +rules that we were, and subject to the same masters. I +used to think a great deal about them, and longed to know +their history. They wore blue dresses, with white caps, +and white handkerchiefs on their necks. Their life, I +think, was a hard one. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +RETURN TO THE NUNNERY. + +While we remained at this place I was not punished in +any of the usual methods. Perhaps they thought the exposure +to a burning sun, and a severe headache, sufficient to +keep me in subjection without any other infliction. But +immediately on my return to the nunnery I was again +subjected to the same cruel, capricious, and unreasonable +punishment. + +On the first day after my return one of the priests came +into the kitchen where I was at work, and I hastened to +give him the usual respectful salutation, which I have +before described. But he took hold of my arm and said, +"What do you look so cross for?" And without giving me +time to reply, even if I had dared to do so, he added, +"I'll teach you not to look cross at me." He left the +room, with an expression of countenance that frightened +me. I was not aware of looking cross at him, though I +must confess I had suffered so much at his hands already, +I did not feel very happy in his presence; yet I always +endeavored to treat him with all due respect. Certainly +his accusation against me in this instance was as false +as it was cruel. But what of that? I was only a nun, and +who would care if I was punished unjustly? The priest +soon returned with a band of leather, or something of +the kind, into which thorns were fastened in such numbers +that the inside was completely covered with them. This +he fastened around my head with the points of the thorns +pressing into the skin, and drew it so tight that the +blood ran in streams over my neck and shoulders. I wore +this band, or "crown of thorns;" as they called it, for +six hours, and all the time continued my work as usual. +Then I thought of the "crown of thorns" our Saviour wore +when he gave his life a ransom for the sins of the world. +I thought I could realize something of his personal agony, +and the prayer of my soul went up to heaven for grace to +follow his example and forgive my tormentors. + +From this time I was punished every day while I remained +there, and for the most simple things. It was evident +they wished to break down my spirit, but it only confirmed +me in my resolution to get away from them as soon as +possible. + +One day I chanced to close the door a little too hard. +It was mere accident, but for doing it they burned me +with red hot tongs. They kept them in the fire till they +were red hot, then plunged them into cold water, drew +them out as quickly as possible, and immediately applied +them to my arms or feet. The skin would, of course adhere +to the iron, and it would sometime burn down to the bone +before they condescended to remove it. At another time +I was cruelly burned on my arms and shoulders for not +standing erect. The flesh was deep in some places, and +the agony I suffered was intolerable. I thought of the +stories the Abbess used to tell me years before about +the martyrs who were burned at the stake. But I had not +a martyr's faith, and I could not imitate their patience +and resignation. The sores made on these occasions were +long in healing, and to this day I bear upon my person +the scars caused by these frequent burnings. + +I was often punished because I forgot to walk on my toes. +For this trivial offence I have often been made to fast +two days. We all wore cloth shoes, and it was the rule +of the house that we should all walk on tip-toe. Sometimes +we would forget, and take a step or two in the usual way; +and then it did seem as though they rejoiced in the +opportunity to inflict punishment. It was the only +amusement they had, and there was so little variety in +their daily life, I believe they were glad of anything +to break in upon the monotony of convent life, and give +them a little excitement. It was very hard for me to +learn to walk on my toes, and as I often failed to do +it, I was of course punished for the atrocious crime. +But I did learn at last, for what can we not accomplish +by resolute perseverance? Several years of practice so +confirmed the habit that I found it as difficult to leave +off as it was to begin. Even now I often find myself +tripping along on tip-toe before I am aware of it. + +We had a very cruel abbess in the kitchen, and this was +one reason of our being punished so often. She was young +and inexperienced, and had just been promoted to office, +with which she seemed much pleased and elated. She embraced +every opportunity to exercise her authority, and often +have I fasted two whole days for accidentally spilling +a little water on the kitchen floor. Whenever she wished +to call my attention to her, she did not content herself +with simply speaking, but would box my ears, pull my +hair, pinch my arms, and in many ways so annoy and provoke +me that I often wished her dead. One day when I was +cleaning knives and forks she came up to me and gave me +such a severe pinch on my arm that I carried the marks +for many days. I did not wait to think what I was doing, +but turned and struck her with all my might. It could +not have been a light blow, for I was very angry. She +turned away, saying she should report me to the Lady +Superior. I did not answer her, but as she passed through +the door I threw a knife which I hoped would hit her, +but it struck the door as she closed it. I expected +something dreadful would be done to me after this wilful +violation of a well known law. But I could bear it, I +thought, and I was glad I hit her so hard. + +She soon returned with a young priest, who had been there +but a short time, and his heart had not yet become so +hard as is necessary to be a good Romish priest. He came +to me and asked, "What is the matter?" I told him the +Abbess punished me every day, that in fact I was under +punishment most of the time; that I did not deserve it, +and I was resolved to bear it no longer. I struck her +because she pinched me for no good reason; and I should +in future try to defend myself from her cruelty. + +"Do you know," said he, "what will be done to you for +this?" "No, sir," said I, "I do not know," and I was +about to add, "I do not care," but I restrained myself. +He went out, and for a long time I expected to be called +to account, but I heard no more of it. The Abbess, however, +went on in the old way, tormenting me on every occasion. + +One day the priests had a quarrel among themselves, and +if I had said a DRUNKEN QUARREL, I do not think it would +have been a very great mistake. In the fray they stabbed +one of their number in the side, drew him out of his +room, and left him on the floor in the hall of the main +building, but one flight of stairs above the kitchen. +Two nuns, who did the chamber work, came down stairs, +and, seeing him lie there helpless and forsaken, they +took him by the hair of the head and drew him down to +the kitchen. Here they began to torment him in the most +cruel manner. They burned sticks in the fire until the +end was a live coal, put them into his hands and closed +them, pressing the burning wood into the flesh, and thus +producing the most exquisite pain. At least this would +have been the result if he had realized their cruelty. +But I think he was insensible before they touched him, +or if not, must have died very soon after, for I am sure +he was dead when I first saw him. + +I went to them and remonstrated against such inhuman +conduct. But one of the nuns replied, "That man has +tormented me more than I can him, if I do my best, and +I wish him to know how good it is." "But," said I, some +one will come in, and you will be caught in the act." +"I'll risk that," said she, "they are quarreling all over +the house, and will have enough to do to look after each +other for a while, I assure you." "But the man is dead," +said I. "How can you treat a senseless corpse in that +way?" "I'm afraid he is dead," she replied, he don't move +at all, and I can't feel his heart beat; but I did hope +to make him realize how good the fire feels." + +Meanwhile, the blood was flowing from the wound in his +side, and ran over the floor. The sight of this alarmed +them, and they drew him into another dark hall, and left +him beside the door of a room used for punishment. They +then came back, locked the hall door, and washed up the +blood. They expected to be punished for moving the dead +body, but the floor was dry before any of the priests +came in, and I do not think it was ever known. Perhaps +they did not remember events as distinctly as they might +under other circumstances, and it is very possible, that, +when they found the corpse they might not have been able +to say whether it was where they left it, or not. We all +rejoiced over the death of that priest. He was a very +cruel man; had punished me times without number, but, +though I was glad he was dead, I could not have touched +him when he lay helpless and insensible. + +A few weeks after the events just related, another trifling +occurrence brought me into collision with the Abbess. +And here let me remark that I have no way, by which to +ascertain at what particular time certain events transpired. +The reader will understand that I write this narrative +from memory, and our life at the nunnery was so monotonous, +the days and weeks passed by with such dull, and irksome +uniformity, that sometimes our frequent punishments were +the only memorable events to break in upon the tiresome +sameness of our unvarying life. Of course the most simple +thing was regarded by us as a great event, something +worthy of special notice, because, for the time, it +diverted our minds from the peculiar restraints of our +disagreeable situation. + +To illustrate this remark let me relate an incident that +transpired about this time. I was one day sent to a part +of the house where I was not in the habit of going. I +was passing along a dark hall, when a ray of light from +an open door fell upon my path. I looked up, and as the +door at that moment swung wide open, I saw, before a +glass, in a richly furnished room, the most beautiful +woman I ever beheld. From the purity of her complexion, +and the bright color of her cheeks and lips, I could have +taken her for a piece of wax work, but for the fact that +she was carelessly arranging her hair. She was tall, and +elegant in person, with a countenance of such rare and +surpassing beauty, I involuntarily exclaimed, "What a +beautiful woman!" She turned towards me with a smile of +angelic sweetness, while an expression of sympathetic +emotion overspread her exquisitely moulded features, +which seemed to say as plainly as though she had spoken +in words, "Poor child, I pity you." I now became conscious +that I was breaking the rules of the house, and hastened +away. But O, how many days my soul fed on that smile! I +never saw the lady again, her name I could never know, +but that look of tenderness will never be forgotten. It +was something to think of through many dreary hours, +something to look back to, and be grateful for, all the +days of my life. + +But to return to my narrative. The priests had a large +quantity of sap gathered from the maple trees, and brought +to the nunnery to be boiled into sugar. Another nun and +myself were left to watch it, keep the kettle filled up, +and prevent it from burning. It was boiled in the large +caldron of which I have before spoken, and covered with +a large, thin, wooden cover. The sap had boiled some +time, and become very thick. I was employed in filling +up the kettle when the Abbess came into the room, and +after a few inquiries, directed me to stand upon the +cover of the caldron, and fix a large hook directly over +it. I objected, for I know full well that it would not +bear a fourth part of my weight. She then took hold of +me, and tried to force me to step upon it, but I knew I +should be burned to death, for the cover, on account of +its enormous size was made as thin as possible, that we +might be able to lift it. When I saw that she was +determined to make me yield, in self defence, I threw +her upon the floor. Would that I had been content to +stop here. But no. When I saw her in my power, and +remembered how much I had suffered from her, my angry +passions rose, and I thought only of revenge. + +I commenced beating her with all my might, and when I +stopped from mere exhaustion, the other nun caught her +by the hair and began to draw her round the room. She +struggled and shrieked, but she could not help herself. +Her screams, however, alarmed the house, and hearing one +of the priests coming, the nun gave her a kick and left +her. The priest asked what we were doing, and the Abbess +related with all possible exaggeration, the story of our +cruelty. "But what did you do to them?" asked the priest +"You gave them some provocation, or they never would +treat you so." She was then obliged to tell what had +passed between us, and he said she deserved to suffer +for giving such an order. "Why," said he," that cover +would not have held her a moment, and she would most +assuredly have burned to death." He punished us all; the +Abbess for giving the order, and us for abusing her. I +should not have done this thing, had I not come off so +well, when I once before attempted to defend myself; but +my success at that time gave me courage to try it again. +My punishment was just, and I bore it very well, consoled +by the thought that justice was awarded to the Abbess, +as well as myself. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +SICKNESS AND DEATH OF A SUPERIOR. + +The next excitement in our little community was caused +by the sickness and death of our Superior. I do not know +what her disease was, but she was sick two weeks, and +one of the nuns from the kitchen was sent to take care +of her. One night she was so much worse, the nun thought +she would die, and she began to torment her in the most +inhuman manner. She had been severely punished a short +time before at the instigation of this woman, and she +then swore revenge if she ever found an opportunity. Now +it was presented. She was in her power, too weak to +resist or call for assistance, and she resolved to let +her know by experience how bitterly she had made others +suffer in days gone by. It was a fiendish spirit, +undoubtedly, that prompted her to seek revenge upon the +dying, but what else could we expect? She only followed +the example of her elders, and if she went somewhat beyond +their teachings, she had, as we shall see, her reasons +for so doing. With hot irons she burned her on various +parts of her person, cut great gashes in the flesh upon +her face, sides, and arms, and then rubbed salt and pepper +into the wounds. But I will not try to describe it. + +The wretched woman died before morning, and the nun went +to the priest and told him that the Superior was dead, +and that she had killed her. The priests were immediately +all called together, and the Bishop called upon for +counsel. He sentenced her to be hung that morning in the +chapel before the assembled household. The Abbess came +and informed us what had taken place, and directed us to +get ready and go to the chapel. When we entered, the +doomed girl sat upon a chair on the altar. She was clad +in a white robe, with a white cap on her head, and appeared +calm, self-possessed, and even joyful. The Bishop asked +her if she had anything to say for herself. She immediately +rose and said, "I have killed the Superior, for which I +am to be hung. I know that I deserve to die, but I have +suffered more than death many times over, from punishments +inflicted by her order. For many years my life has been +one of continual suffering; and for what? For just nothing +at all, or for the most simple things. Is it right, is +it just to starve a person two whole days for shutting +the door a little too hard? or to burn one with hot irons +because a little water was accidentally spilt on the +floor? Yet for these and similar things I have again and +again been tortured within an inch of my life. Now that +I am to be hung, I am glad of it, for I shall die quick, +and be out of my misery, instead of being tortured to +death by inches. I did this thing for this very purpose, +for I do not fear death nor anything that comes after +it. Talk about the existence of a God! I don't believe +a word of it. And the story of heaven and hell, purgatory, +and the Virgin Mary; why, it's all a humbug, like the +rest of the vile stuff you call religion. Religion indeed! +You wont catch us nuns believing it, and more than all +that, you don't believe it yourselves, not one of you." + +She sat down, and they put a cap over her head and face, +drew it tight around her neck, adjusted the rope, and +she was launched into eternity. To me it seemed a horrid +thing, and I could not look upon her dying struggles. I +did not justify the girl in what she had done, yet I knew +that the woman would have died if she had let her alone; +and I also knew that worse things than that were done in +the nunnery almost every day, and that too by the very +men who had taken her life. I left the chapel with a firm +resolve to make one more effort to escape from a thraldom +that everyday became more irksome. + +At the door the Abbess met me, and led me to a room I +had never seen before, where, to my great surprise, I +found my bed. She said it was removed by her order, and +in future I was to sleep in that room. "What! sleep here +alone?" I exclaimed, quite forgetting, in the agitation +of the moment, the rule of silent obedience. But she did +not condescend to notice either my question or the +unpleasant feelings which must have been visible in my +features. I did feel very much troubled. I had never +slept in a room alone a night in my life. Another nun +always occupied the room with me, and when she was absent, +as she often was when under punishment, the Abbess slept +there, so that I was never alone. I did not often meet +the girl with whom I slept, as she did not work in the +kitchen, but whenever I did, I felt as pleased as though +she had been my sister. Yet I never spoke to her, nor +did she ever attempt to converse with me. Yes, strange +as it may seem, incredible as my reader may think it, it +is a fact, that during all the years we slept together, +not one word ever passed between us. We did not even dare +to communicate our thoughts by signs, lest the Abbess +should detect us. + +That night I spent in my new room; but I could not sleep. +I had heard strange hints about some room where no one +could sleep, and where no one liked to go, though for +what reason I could never learn. When I first entered, +I discovered that the floor was badly stained, and, while +speculating on the cause of those stains, I came to the +conclusion that this was the room to which so much mystery +was attached. It was very dark, with no window in it, +situated in the midst of the house, surrounded by other +rooms, and no means of ventilation except the door. I +did not close my eyes during the whole night. I imagined +that the door opened and shut, that persons were walking +in the room, and I am certain that I heard noises near +my bed for which I could not account. Altogether, it was +the most uncomfortable night I ever spent, and I believe +that few persons would have felt entirely at ease in my +situation. + +To such a degree did these superstitious fears assail +me, I felt as though I would endure any amount of physical +suffering rather than stay there another night. Resolved +to brave everything, I went to a priest and asked permission +to speak to him. It was an unusual thing, and I think +his curiosity was excited, for it was only in extreme +cases that a nun ventures to appeal to a priest When I +told him my story, he seemed much surprised, and asked +by whose order my bed was moved to that room. I informed +him of all the particulars, when he ordered me to move +my bed back again. "No one," said he, "has slept in that +room for years, and we do not wish any one to sleep +there." I accordingly moved the bed back, and as I had +permission from the priest, the Abbess dared not find +fault with me. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +STUDENTS AT THE ACADEMY. + +Through the winter I continued to work as usual, leading +the same dull, dreary, and monotonous life, varied only +by pains, and privations. In the spring a slight change +was made in the household arrangements, and for a short +time I assisted some of the other nuns to do the chamber +work for the students at the academy. There was an +under-ground passage from the convent to the cellar of +the academy through which we passed. Before we entered, +the doors and windows were securely fastened, and the +students ordered to leave their rooms, and not return +again till we had left. They were also forbidden to speak +to us, but whenever the teachers were away, they were +sure to come back to their rooms, and ask us all manner +of questions. They wished to know, they said, how long +we were going to stay in the convent, if we really enjoyed +the life we had chosen, and were happy in our retirement; +if we had not rather return to the world, go into company, +get married, etc. I suppose they really thought that we +could leave at any time if we chose. But we did not dare +to answer their questions, or let them know the truth. + +One day, when we went to do the work, we found in one of +the rooms, some men who were engaged in painting. They +asked us if we were contented. We did not dare to reply, +lest they should betray us. They then began to make +remarks about us, some of which I well remember. One of +them said, "I don't believe they are used very well; they +look as though they were half starved." Another replied, +"I know they do; there is certainly something wrong about +these convents, or the nuns would not all look so pale +and thin." I suspect the man little thought how much +truth there was in his remarks. + +Soon after the painters left we were all taken suddenly +ill. Some were worse than others, but all were unwell +except one nun. As all exhibited the same symptoms, we +were supposed to have taken poison, and suspicion fastened +on that nun. She was put upon the rack, and when she +saw that her guilt could not be concealed, she confessed +that she poisoned the water in the well, but she would +not tell what she put into it, nor where she got it. +She said she did not do it to injure the nuns, for she +thought they were allowed so little drink with their +food, they would not be affected by it, while those who +drank more, she hoped to kill. She disliked all the +priests, and the Superior, and would gladly have murdered +them all. But for one priest in particular, she felt all +the hatred that a naturally malignant spirit, excited by +repeated acts of cruelty, is capable of. He had punished +her repeatedly, and as she thought, unjustly, and she +resolved to avenge herself and destroy her enemy, even +though the innocent should suffer with the guilty. This +was all wrong, fearfully wrong we must admit. But while +we look with horror at the enormity of her crime let us +remember that she had great provocation. I hope there +are few who could have sought revenge in the way she did; +yet I cannot believe that any one would endure from +another what she was compelled to suffer from that man, +without some feelings of resentment. Let us not judge +too harshly this erring sister, for if her crime was +great, her wrongs were neither small nor few, and her +punishment was terrible. + +They tortured her a long time to make her tell what kind +of poison she put in the well, and where she obtained +it. They supposed she must have got it from the painters, +but she would never tell where she procured it. This fact +proves that she had some generous feelings left. Under +any other circumstances such magnanimity would have been +highly applauded, and in my secret soul I could not but +admire the firmness with which she bore her sufferings. +She was kept upon the rack until all her joints were +dislocated, and the flesh around them mortified. They +then carried her to her room, removed the bed, and laid +her upon the bedcord. The nuns were all assembled to +look at her, and take warning by her sad fate. Such a +picture of misery I never saw before. She seemed to have +suffered even more than the old lady I saw in the cellar. +It was but a moment, however, that we were allowed to +gaze upon her shrunken ghastly features, and then she +was hid from our sight forever. The nuns, except two or +three, were sent from the room, and thus the murder was +consummated. What else can we call it? + +There was one young student at the academy whose name +was Smalley. He was from New England, and his father +lived at St. Albans, Vt., where he had wealth and influence. +This young man had a little sister who used to visit at +the convent, whom they called Sissy Smalley. She was +young, but handsome, witty and intelligent. For one of +her age, she was very much refined in her manners. They +allowed her to go anywhere in the building except the +private apartments where those deeds of darkness were +performed which would not bear the pure light of heaven. +I presume that no argument could convince little Sissy +Smalley that such rooms were actually in the nunnery. +She had been all over it, she would tell you, and she +never saw any torture rooms, never heard of any one being +punished, or anything of the kind. Such reports would +appear to her as mere slanders, yet God knows they are +true. I well remember how I used to shudder to hear that +child praise the nunnery, tell what a nice, quiet place +it was, and how she would like it for a permanent home. +I hope her brother will find out the truth about it in +season to prevent his beautiful sister from ever becoming +a nun. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + +SECOND ESCAPE FROM THE NUNNERY. + +It was early in the spring, when I again succeeded in +making my escape. It was on a Saturday evening, when the +priests and nearly all the nuns were In the chapel. I +was assisted out of the yard in the same way I was before, +and by the same person. There was still snow upon the +ground and that they might not be able to track me, I +entered the market and walked the whole length of it +without attracting observation. From thence I crossed +the street, when I saw a police officer coming directly +towards me. I turned down a dark alley and ran for my +life, I knew not whither. It is the duty of every police +officer in Montreal to accompany any of the sisters whom +they chance to meet in the street, and I knew if he saw +me he would offer to attend me wherever I wished to go. +Such an offer might not be refused, and, certainly, his +company, just at that time, was neither desirable nor +agreeable. + +At the end of the alley, I found myself near a large +church, and two priests were coming directly towards me. +It is said "the drowning catch at straws." Whether this +be true or not, the plan which I adopted in this emergency +seemed as hopeless for my preservation, as a straw for +the support of the drowning. Yet it was the only course +I could pursue, for to escape unseen was impossible. I +therefore resolved to go boldly past them, and try to +make them think I was a Superior going to church. Trying +to appear as indifferent as possible, I approached, and +saluted them in the usual way. This is done by throwing +forward the open hand, and passing it down by the side +with a slight inclination of the head. The priest returns +the salutation by standing with uncovered head till you +have passed. In the present instance, the priest said, +as he removed his hat, "Church is in, Sister." I bowed +again, and hastened on. With trembling limbs I ascended +the Church steps, and stood there till the priests were +out of sight. It was but a moment, yet it seemed a long +time. I knew the house was filled with priests and +students, some of whom would be sure to recognize me at +once. What if they should come out! The thought of it +nearly took away my breath. The cold perspiration started +from my brow, and I felt as though I should faint. But +my fears were not realized, and as soon as the priests +were out of sight, I went on again. Soon I came to a +cross street, leading to the river, where a large hotel +stood on the corner. I followed the river, and travelled +all night. The next day, fearing to be seen by people +going to church, I hid in a cellar hole, covered over +with old boards and timbers. + +At night I went on again, and on Sunday evening about +ten o'clock I came to a small village where I resolved +to seek food and lodging. Tired, hungry and cold, feeling +as though I could not take another step, I called at one +of the houses, and asked permission to stay over night. +It was cheerfully granted. The lady gave me some milk, +and I retired to rest. Next morning, I rose early and +left before any of the family were up. I knew they were +all Romanists, and I feared to trust them. + +At noon that day I arrived at St. Oars, a town, named, +as I have been informed, for the man who owns a great +part of it. I stopped at a public house, which, they +called, "Lady St. Oars," where they were eating dinner. +The landlady invited me to dine with them, and asked if +I belonged to the convent in that place. I told her that +I did, for I knew if I told the truth they would suspect +me at once. "Do you eat meat?" she asked. I told her I +did not. "Do you eat butter on your bread?" I replied in +the affirmative, and she gave me a slice of bread and +butter, a piece of cheese and a silver cup full of milk. +I ate it all, and would gladly have eaten more, for I +was very hungry. As I was about to leave, the lady +remarked, "There was grease in that cheese, was it a sin +for me to give it to you?" I assured her it was not, for +I was allowed to eat milk, and the cheese being made of +milk, there could be no sin in my eating it I told her +that, so far from committing a sin, the blessed Virgin +was pleased with her benevolent spirit, and would, in +some way, reward her for her kindness. + +Leaving Lady St. Oars, I went on to the next town where +I arrived at seven in the evening. I called at the house +of a Frenchman, and asked if I could stay over night, or +at least, be allowed to rest awhile. The man said I was +welcome to come in, but he had no place where I could +sleep. They were just sitting down to supper, which +consisted of pea soup; but the lady said there was meat +in it, and she would not invite me to partake of it; but +she gave me a good supper of bread and milk. She thought +I was a Sister of Charity, and I did not tell her that +I was not. After supper, she saw that my skirt was stiff +with mud, and kindly offered to wash it out for me, +saying, I could rest till it was dry. I joyfully accepted +her offer, and reclining in a corner, enjoyed a refreshing +slumber. + +It was near twelve o'clock before I was ready to go on +again, and when I asked how far it was to the next town, +they manifested a great anxiety for my welfare. The man +said it was seven miles to Mt. Bly, but he hoped I did +not intend to walk. I told him I did not know whether I +should or not, perhaps I might ride. "But are you not +afraid to go on alone?" he asked. "St. Dennis is a bad +place for a lady to be out alone at night, and you must +pass a grave-yard in the south part of the town; dare +you go by it, in the dark?" I assured him that I had no +fear whatever, that would prevent me from going past the +grave-yard. I had never committed a crime, never injured +any one, and I did not think the departed would come back +to harm me. The lady said she would think of me with some +anxiety, for she should not dare to go past that grave-yard +alone in the dark. I again assured her that I had no +cause to fear, had no crime on my conscience, had been +guilty of no neglect of duty, and if the living would +let me alone, I did not fear the dead. They thought I +referred to the low characters about town, and the lady +replied, "I shall tell my beads for you and the holy +Virgin will protect you from all harm. But remember," +she continued, "whenever you pass this way, you will +always find a cordial welcome with us." I thanked her, +and with a warm grasp of the hand we parted. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + +LONELY MIDNIGHT WALK. + +It was near morning when I entered Mt. Bly, but I did +not stop. I traveled all night, and late in the morning +came to a respectable looking farmhouse which I thought +might be occupied by Protestants. I always noticed that +their houses were neater, and more comfortable than those +of the Romanists in the same condition in life. In the +present instance I was not disappointed in my expectations. +The lady received me kindly, gave me some breakfast, and +directed me to the next village. I walked all day, and +near night arrived at St. Mary's, where I called at a +house, and asked permission to sit and rest awhile. They +gave me an invitation to enter, but did not offer +refreshments. I did not like to ask for charity if I +could avoid it, and I thought it possible they might ask +me to stay over night. But they did not, and after a half +hour's rest I rose to depart, and thanking them for their +kindness inquired how far it was to the next house. They +said it was seven miles to the first house, and nine to +the next village. + +With a sad heart, I once more pursued my lonely way. Soon +it began to rain, and the night came on, dark and dismal, +cold and stormy, with a high wind that drove the rain +against my face with pitiless fury. I entered a thick +wood where no ray of light could penetrate, and at almost +every step, I sank over shoes in the mud. Thus I wandered +on, reflecting bitterly on my wretched fate. All the +superstitious fears, which a convent life is so well +calculated to produce, again assailed me, and I was +frightened at my own wild imaginings. I thought of the +nuns who had been murdered so cruelly, and I listened to +the voice of the storm, as to the despairing wail of a +lost soul. The wind swept fiercely through the leafless +branches, now roaring like a tornado, again rising to a +shrill shriek, or a prolonged whistle, then sinking to +a hollow murmer, and dying away in a low sob which sounded +to my excited fancy like the last convulsive sigh of a +breaking heart. Once and again I paused, faint and dizzy +with hunger and fatigue, feeling as though I could go no +further. But there was no alternative. I must go on or +perish. And go on I did, though, as I now look back upon +that night's experience, I wonder how I managed to do +so. But a kind providence, undoubtedly, watched over me, +and good angels guided me on my way. Some time in the +night, I think it must have been past twelve o'clock, I +became so very weary I felt that I must rest awhile at +all events. It was so dark I could not see a step before +me, but I groped my way to a fence, seated myself on a +stone with my head resting against the rails, and in that +position I fell asleep. + +How long I slept, I do not know. I think it must have +been some hours. When I awoke, my clothes were drenched +with rain, and I was so stiff and lame, I could hardly +move. But go I must, so I resolved to make the best of +it, and hobble along as well as I could. At last I reached +the village, but it was not yet morning, and I dared not +stop. I kept on till daylight, and as soon as I thought +people were up, I went up to a house and rapped. A woman +came to the door, and I asked if she would allow me to +go in, and dry my clothes, and I would have added, get +some breakfast, but her looks restrained me. They were +getting breakfast, but did not invite me to partake of +it, and I dared not ask for anything to eat. When my +clothes were dry, I thanked them for the use of their +fire, and inquired how far it was to the next village. +They said the next town was Highgate, but they did not +know the distance. + +My tears flowed freely when I again found myself in the +street, cold, hungry, almost sick, and entirely friendless. +What should I do? What would become of me? One thought +alone gave courage to my desponding heart, buoyed up my +sinking spirits, and restored strength to my weary limbs. +I was striving for liberty, that priceless boon, so dear +to every human heart. I might, perhaps, obtain it. At +least, I would try. + +Nerved to renewed effort by thoughts like these, I toiled +onward. All that day I walked without a particle of +nourishment. When I reached Highgate, it was eleven +o'clock at night, but in one house I saw a light, and I +ventured to rap at the door. It was opened by a pale, +but pleasant looking woman. "Kind lady," said I, "will +you please tell me how far it is to the States?" "To the +States!" she exclaimed, and in a moment she seemed to +understand both my character and situation. "You are +now in Vermont State," said she, "but come in child, you +look sad and weary." I at once accepted her offer, and +when she asked how far I was traveling, and how I came +to be out so late, I did not hesitate to reveal to her +my secret, for I was sure she could be trusted. She +invited me to spend the remainder of the night, and gave +me some refreshment. She was nursing a sick woman, which +accounted for her being up so late, but did not prevent +her from attending to all my wants, and making me as +comfortable as possible. When she saw that my feet were +wounded, badly swollen, and covered with blood and dirt, +she procured warm water, and with her own hands bathed, +and made them clean, with the best toilet soap. She +expressed great sympathy for the sad condition my feet +were in, and asked if I had no shoes? I told her that my +shoes were made of cloth, and soon wore out; that what +was left of them, I lost in the mud, when traveling +through the woods in the dark. She then procured a pair +of nice woollen stockings, and a pair of new shoes, some +under clothes, and a good flannel skirt, which she begged +me to wear for her sake. I accepted them gratefully, but +the shoes I could not wear, my feet were so sore. She +said I could take them with me, and she gave me a pair +of Indian moccasins to wear till my feet were healed. +Angel of mercy that she was; may God's blessing rest upon +her for her kindness to the friendless wanderer. + +The next morning the good lady urged me to stay with her, +at least, for a time, and said I should be welcome to a +home there for the rest of my life. Grateful as I was +for her offer, I was forced to decline it, for I knew +that I could not remain so near Montreal in safety. She +said the "select men" of the town would protect me, if +they were made acquainted with my peculiar situation. +Dear lady! she little knew the character of a Romish +priest! Her guileless heart did not suspect the cunning +artifice by which they accomplish whatever they undertake. +And those worthy "select men," I imagine, were not much +better informed than herself. Sure I am, that any protection +they could offer me, would not, in the least degree, +shield me from the secret intrigue, the affectionate, +maternal embrace of holy Mother Church. + +When she found that, notwithstanding all her offers, I +was resolved to go, she put into a basket, a change of +clothing, the shoes she had given me, and a good supply +of food which she gave me for future use. But the most +acceptable part of her present was a sun-bonnet; for thus +far I had nothing on my head but the cap I wore in the +convent. She gave me some money, and bade me go to +Swanton, and there, she said, I could take the cars. I +accordingly bade her farewell, and, basket in hand, +directed my steps toward the depot some seven miles +distant, as I was informed; but I thought it a long seven +miles, as I passed over it with my sore feet, the blood +starting at every step. + +On my arrival at the depot, a man came to me, and asked +where I wished to go. I told him I wished to go as far +into the State as my money would carry me. He procured +me a ticket, and said it would take me to St. Albans. He +asked me where I came from, but I begged to be excused +from answering questions. He then conducted me to the +ladies room, and left me, saying the cars would be along +in about an hour. + +In this room, several ladies were waiting to take the +cars. As I walked across the room, one of them said, in +a tone that grated harshly on my feelings, "Your skirt +is below your dress." I did not feel very good natured, +and instead of saying "thank you," as I should have done, +I replied in the most impudent manner, "Well, it is clean, +if it is in sight." The lady said no more, and I sat down +upon a sofa and fell asleep. As I awoke, one of the ladies +said, "I wonder who that poor girl is!" I was bewildered, +and, for the moment, could not think where I was, but I +thought I must make some reply, and rousing myself I +turned to her, and said, "I am a nun, if you wish to +know, and I have just escaped from a convent." She gave +me a searching look, and said, "Well, I must confess you +do look like one. I often visit in Montreal where I see +a great many of them, and they always look poor and pale. +Will you allow me to ask you a few questions?" By this +time, I was wide awake, and realized perfectly where I +was, and the folly of making such an imprudent disclosure. +I would have given much to recall those few words, for +I had a kind of presentiment that they would bring me +trouble. I begged to be excused from answering any +questions, as I was almost crazy with thinking of the +past and did not wish to speak of it. + +The lady said no more for some time, but she kept her +eye upon me, in a way that I did not like; and I began +to consider whether I had better wait for the cars, or +start on foot. I was sorry for my imprudence, but it +could not be helped now, and I must do the best I could +to avoid the unpleasant consequences which might result +from it. I had just made up my mind to go on, when I +heard in the far distance, the shrill whistle of the +approaching train; that train which I fondly hoped would +bear me far away from danger, and onward to the goal of +my desires. + +At this moment, the lady crossed the room, and seating +herself by my side, asked, "Would you not like to go and +live with me? I have one waiting maid now, but I wish +for another, and if you will go, I will take you and give +you good wages. Your work will not be hard; will you +go?" "Where do you go?" I asked. "To Montreal," she +replied. "Then I shall not go with you," said I. "No +money could induce me to return there again." "Ah!" said +she, with a peculiar smile, "I see how it is, but you +need not fear to trust me. I will protect you, and never +suffer you to be taken back to the convent." I saw that +I had made unconsciously another imprudent revelation, +and resolved to say no more. I was about to leave her, +but she drew me back saying, "I will give you some of my +clothes, and I can make them fit you so well that no one +will ever recognize you. I shall have plenty of time to +alter them if they require it, for the train that I go +in, will not he along for about three hours; you can help +me, and in that time we will get you nicely fixed." + +I could hardly repress a smile when I saw how earnest +she was, and I thought it a great pity that a plan so +nicely laid out should be so suddenly deranged, but I +could not listen to her flatteries. I suspected that she +was herself in the employ of the priests, and merely +wished to get me back that she might betray me. She had +the appearance of being very wealthy, was richly clad, +wore a gold watch, chain, bracelets, breastpin, ear rings, +and many finger rings, all of the finest gold. But with +all her wealth and kind offers, I dare not trust her. I +thought she looked annoyed when I refused to go with her, +but when I rose to go to the cars, a look of angry +impatience stole over, her fine features, which convinced +me that I had escaped a snare. + +The cars came at length, and I was soon on my way to St. +Albans. I was very sick, and asked a gentleman near me +to raise the windows. He did so, and inquired how far I +was going. I informed him, when he remarked that he was +somewhat acquainted in St. Albans, and asked with whom +I designed to stop. I told him I had no friends or +acquaintance in the place, but I hoped to get employment +in some protestant family. He said he could direct me to +some gentlemen who would, he thought, assist me. One in +particular, he mentioned as being a very wealthy man, +and kept a number of servants; perhaps he would employ +me. + +This gentleman's name was Branard, and my informant spoke +so highly of the family, I immediately sought them out +on leaving the cars, and was at once employed by Mrs. +Branard, as a seamstress. Here I found a quiet, happy +home. Mrs. Branard was a kind sympathizing woman, and +to her, I confided the history of my convent life. She +would not allow me to work hard, for she saw that my +nerves were easily excited. She made me sit with her in +her own room a great part of the time, and did not wish +me to go out alone. They had several boarders in the +family, and one of them was a brother-in-law [Footnote: +This gentleman was Mr. Z. K. Pangborn, late editor of +the Worcester Daily Transcript. Both Mr. and Mrs. Pangborn +give their testimony of the truth of this statement.] to +Mrs. Branard. His name I have forgotten; it was not a +common name, but he married Mrs. Branard's sister, and +with his wife resided there all the time that I was with +them. Mr. Branard was away from home most of the time, +so that I saw but little of him. They had an Irish girl +in the kitchen, named Betsy. She was a kind, pleasant +girl, and she thought me a strict Romanist because I said +my prayers so often, and wore the Holy Scapulary round +my neck. This Scapulary is a band with a cross on one +side, and on the other, the letters "J. H. S." which +signify, "Jesus The Savior of Man." + +At this place I professed great regard for the Church of +Rome, and no one but Mrs. Branard was acquainted with my +real character and history. When they asked my name, I +told them they could call me Margaret, but it was an +assumed name. My own, for reasons known only by myself, +I did not choose to reveal. I supposed, of course, they +would regard me with suspicion for a while, but I saw +nothing of the kind. They treated me with great respect, +and no questions were ever asked. Perhaps I did wrong +in changing my name, but I felt that I was justified in +using any means to preserve my liberty. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +FLIGHT AND RECAPTURE. + +Four happy weeks I enjoyed unalloyed satisfaction in the +bosom of this charming family. It was a new thing for me +to feel at home, contented, and undisturbed; to have +every one around me treat me with kindness and even +affection. I sometimes feared it was too good to last. +Mrs. Branard in particular, I shall ever remember with +grateful and affectionate regard. She was more like a +mother to me, than a mistress, and I shall ever look back +to the time I spent with her, as a bright spot in the +otherwise barren desert of my life. Better, far better +would it have been for me had I never left her. But I +became alarmed, and thought the convent people were after +me. It was no idle whim, no imaginary terror. I had good +cause to fear, for I had several times seen a priest go +past, and gaze attentively at the house. I knew him at +the first glance, having often seen him in Montreal. + +Then my heart told me that they had traced me to this +place, and were now watching a chance to get hold of me. +Imagine, if you can, my feelings. Had I suffered so much +in vain? Would they be allowed to take me back to those +fearful cells, where no ray of mercy could ever reach +me? I could not endure the thought. Frightened, and +almost beside myself, I resolved to make an effort to +find a more secure place. I therefore left those kind +friends in the darkness of night, without one word of +farewell, and without their knowledge. I knew they would +not allow me to go, if they were apprised of my design. +In all probability, they would have ridiculed my fears, +and bade me rest in peace. How could I expect them to +comprehend my danger, when they knew so little of the +machination of my foes? I intended to go further into +the state, but did not wish to have any one know which +way I had gone. It was a sad mistake, but how often in +this world do we plunge into danger when we seek to avoid +it! How often fancy ourselves in security when we stand +upon the very brink of ruin! + +I left Mr. Branard's in the evening, and called upon a +family in the neighborhood whose acquaintance I had made, +and whom I wished to see once more, though I dared not +say farewell. I left them between the hours of nine and +ten, and set forward on my perilous journey. I had gone +but a short distance when I heard the sound of wheels +and the heavy tread of horses' feet behind me. My heart +beat with such violence it almost stopped my breath, for +I felt that they were after me. But there was no escape-- +no forest or shelter near where I could seek protection. +On came the furious beasts, driven by no gentle hand. +They came up with me, and I almost began to hope that my +fears were groundless, when the horses suddenly stopped, +a strong hand grasped me, a gag was thrust into my mouth, +and again the well-known box was taken from the wagon. +Another moment and I was securely caged, and on my way +back to Montreal. Two men were in the wagon and two rode +on horseback beside it. Four men to guard one poor nun! + +They drove to Mt. Bly, where they stopped to change +horses, and the two men on horseback remained there, +while the other two mounted the wagon and drove to Sorel. +Here the box was taken out and carried on board a boat, +where two priests were waiting for me. When the boat +started, they took me out for the first time after I was +put into it at St. Albans. Three days we had been on the +way, and I had tasted neither food nor drink. How little +did I think when I took my tea at Mr. Branard's the night +I left that it was the last refreshment I would have for +SEVEN DAYS; yet such was the fact. And how little did +they think, as they lay in their quiet beds that night, +that the poor fugitive they had taken to their home was +fleeing for life, or for that which, to her, was better +than life. Yet so it was. Bitterly did I reproach myself +for leaving those kind friends as I did, for I thought +perhaps if I had remained there, they would not have +dared to touch me. Such were my feelings then; but as I +now look back, I can see that it would have made little +difference whether I left or remained. They were bound +to get me, at all events, and if I had stopped there +until they despaired of catching me secretly, they would +undoubtedly have come with an officer, and accused me of +some crime, as a pretext for taking me away. Then, had +any one been so far interested for me as to insist on my +having a fair trial, how easy for them to produce witnesses +enough to condemn me! Those priests have many ways to +accomplish their designs. The American people don't know +them yet; God grant they never may. + +On my arrival at the nunnery I was taken down the coal +grate, and fastened to an iron ring in the back part of +a cell. The Archbishop then came down and read my +punishment. Notwithstanding the bitter grief that oppressed +my spirit, I could not repress a smile of contempt as +the great man entered my cell. I remembered that before +I ran away, my punishments were assigned by a priest, +but the first time I fled from them a Bishop condescended +to read my sentence, and now his honor the Archbishop +graciously deigned to illume my dismal cell with the +light of his countenance, and his own august lips pronounced +the words of doom. Was I rising in their esteem, or did +they think to frighten me into obedience by the grandeur +of his majestic mien? + +Such were my thoughts as this illustrious personage +proceeded slowly, and with suitable dignity, to unroll +the document that would decide my fate. What would it +be? Death? It might be for aught I knew, or cared to +know. I had by this time become perfectly reckless, and +the whole proceeding seemed so ridiculous, I found it +exceedingly difficult to maintain a demeanor sufficiently +solemn for the occasion. But when the fixed decree came +forth, when the sentence fell upon my ear that condemned +me to SEVEN DAYS' STARVATION, it sobered me at once. Yet +even then the feeling of indignation was so strong within +me, I could not hold my peace. I would speak to that man, +if he killed me for it. Looking him full in the face +(which, by the way, I knew was considered by him a great +crime), I asked, "Do you ever expect to die?" I did not, +of course, expect an answer, but he replied, with a smile, +"Yes; but you will die first" He then asked how long I +had fasted, and I replied, "Three days." He said, "You +will fast four days more, and you will be punished every +day until next December, when you will take the black +veil." As he was leaving the room, he remarked, "We do +not usually have the nuns take the black veil until they +are twenty-one; but you have such good luck in getting +away, we mean to put you where you can't do it." And with +this consoling thought he left me--left me in darkness +and despair, to combat, as best I could, the horrors of +starvation. This was in the early part of winter, and +only about a year would transpire before I entered that +retreat from which none ever returned. And then to be +punished every day for a year! What a prospect! The priest +came every morning, with his dark lantern, to look at +me; but he never spoke. On the second day after my return, +I told him if he would bring me a little piece of bread, +I would never attempt to run away again, but would serve +him faithfully the rest of my life. Had he given it to +me, I would have faithfully kept my word; but he did not +notice me, and closing the door, he left me once more to +pass through all the agonies of starvation. I remember +nothing after that day. Whether I remained in the cell +the other two days, or was taken out before the time +expired, I do not know. This much, however, I do know, +as a general rule a nun's punishment is never remitted. +If she lives, it is well; if she dies, no matter; there +are enough more, and no one will ever call them to an +account for the murder. + +But methinks I hear the reader ask, "Did they not fear +the judgment of God and a future retribution?" In reply +I can only state what I believe to be the fact. It is my +firm belief that not more than one priest in ten thousand +really believes in the truth of Christianity, or even in +the existence of a God. They are all Infidels or Atheists; +and how can they be otherwise? It is the legitimate fruit +of that system of deceit which they call religion. Of +course I only give this as my opinion, founded on what +I have seen and heard. You can take it, reader, for what +it is worth; believe it or not, just us you please; but +I assure you I have often heard the nuns say that they +did not believe in any religion. The professions of +holiness of heart and parity of life so often made by +the priests they KNOW to be nothing but a hypocritical +pretence, and their ceremonies they regard as a ridiculous +farce. + +For some time after I was taken from the cell I lay in +a state of partial unconsciousness, but how long, I do +not know. I have no recollection of being taken up stairs, +but I found myself on my bed, in my old room, and on the +stand beside me were several cups, vials, etc. The Abbess +who sat beside me, occasionally gave me a tea-spoonful +of wine or brandy, and tried to make me eat. Ere long, +my appetite returned, but it was several weeks before my +stomach was strong enough to enable me to satisfy in any +degree, the cravings of hunger. When I could eat, I gained +very fast, and the Abbess left me in the care of a nun, +who came in occasionally to see if I wanted anything. +This nun often stopped to talk with me, when she thought +no one was near, and expressed great curiosity to know +what I saw in the world; if people were kind to me, and +if I did not mean to get away again, if possible, I told +her I should not; but she replied, "I don't believe that. +You will try again, and you will succeed yet, if you keep +up good courage. You are so good to work, they do not +wish to part with you, and that is one reason why they +try so hard to get you back again. But never mind, they +won't get you next time." I assured her I should not try +to escape again, for they were sure to catch me, and as +they had almost killed me this time, they would quite +the next. I did not dare to trust her, for I supposed +the Superior had given her orders to question me. + +I was still weak, so weak that I could hardly walk when +they obliged me to go into the kitchen to clean vegetables +and do other light work, and as soon as I had sufficient +strength, to milk the cows, and take the care of the +milk. They punished me every day, in accordance with the +Bishop's order, and sometimes, I thought, more than he +intended. I wore thorns on my head, and peas in my shoes, +was whipped and pinched, burnt with hot irons, and made +to crawl through the underground passage I have before +described. In short, I was tortured and punished in every +possible way, until I was weary of my life. Still they +were careful not to go so far as to disable me from work. +They did not care how much I suffered, if I only performed +my daily task. + +There was an underground passage leading from the nunnery +to a place which they called, "Providence," in the south +part of the city. I do not know whether it is a school, +or a convent, or what it is, but I think it must be some +distance, from what I heard said about it. The priest +often spoke of sending me there, but for some reason, he +did not make me go. Still the frequent reference to what +I so much dreaded, kept me in constant apprehension and +alarm. I have heard the priest say that underground +passages extended from the convent in every direction, +for a distance of five miles; and I have reason to believe +the statement is true. But these reasons I may not attempt +to give. There are things that may not even be alluded +to, and if it were possible to speak of them, who would +believe the story? + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +RESOLVES TO ESCAPE. + +As summer approached, I expected to be sent to the farm +again, but for some reason I was still employed in the +kitchen. Yet I could not keep my mind upon my work. The +one great object of my life; the subject that continually +pressed upon my mind was the momentous question, how +shall I escape? The dreaded December was rapidly +approaching. To some it would bring a joyous festival, +but to me, the black veil and a life long imprisonment. +Once within those dreary walls, and I might as well hope +to escape from the grave. Such are the arrangements, +there is no chance for a nun to escape unless she is +promoted to the office of Abbess or Superior. Of course, +but few of them can hope for this, especially, if they +are not contented; and certainly, in my case there was +not the least reason to expect anything of the kind. +Knowing these facts, with the horrors of the Secret +Cloister ever before me, I felt some days as though on +the verge of madness. Before the nuns take the black +veil, and enter this tomb for the living, they are put +into a room by themselves, called the forbidden closet, +where they spend six months in studying the Black Book. +Perchance, the reader will remember that when I first +came to this nunnery, I was taken by the door-tender to +this forbidden closet, and permitted to look in upon the +wretched inmates. From that time I always had the greatest +horror of that room. I was never allowed to enter it, +and in fact never wished to do so, but I have heard the +most agonizing groans from those within, and sometimes +I have heard them laugh. Not a natural, hearty laugh, +however, such as we hear from the gay and happy, but a +strange, terrible, sound which I cannot describe, and +which sent a thrill of terror through my frame, and seemed +to chill the very blood in my veins. + +I have heard the priests say, when conversing with each +other, while I was tidying their room, that many of these +nuns lose their reason while studying the Black Book. I +can well believe this, for never in my life did I ever +witness an expression of such unspeakable, unmitigated +anguish, such helpless and utter despair as I saw upon +the faces of those nuns. And well they may despair. Kept +under lock and key, their windows barred, and no air +admitted to the room except what comes through the iron +grate of their windows from other apartments; compelled +to study, I know not what; with no hope of the least +mitigation of their sufferings, or relaxation of the +stringent rules that bind them; no prospect before them +but a life-long imprisonment; what have they to hope for? +Surely, death and the grave are the only things to which +they can look forward with the least degree of satisfaction. + +Those nuns selected for this Secret Cloister are generally +the fairest, the most beautiful of the whole number. I +used to see them in the chapel, and some of them were +very handsome. They dressed like the other nuns, and +always looked sad and broken hearted, but were not pale +and thin like the rest of us. I am sure they were not +kept upon short allowance as the others were, and starvation +was not one of their punishments, whatever else they +might endure. The plain looking girls were always selected +to work in the kitchen, and do the drudgery about the +house. How often have I thanked God for my plain face! +But for that, I might not have been kept in the kitchen +so long, and thus found means to escape which I certainly +could not have found elsewhere. + +With all my watching, and planning I did not find an +opportunity to get away till June. I then, succeeded in +getting outside the convent yard one evening between +eight and nine o'clock. How I got there, is a secret I +shall never reveal. A few yards from the gate I was +stopped by one of the guard at the Barrack, who asked +where I was going. "To visit a sick woman," I promptly +replied, and he let me pass. Soon after this, before my +heart ceased to flutter, I thought I heard some one +running after me. My resolution was at once taken. I +would never be caught and carried back alive. My fate +was at last, I thought, in my own hands. Better die at +once than to be chained like a guilty criminal, and suffer +as I had done before. Blame me not gentle reader, when +I tell you that I stood upon the bank of the river with +exultant joy; and, as I pursued my way along the tow-path, +ready to spring into the water on the first indication +of danger, I rejoiced over the disappointment of my +pursuers in losing a servant who had done them so good +service. At a little distance I saw a ferry boat, but +when I asked the captain to carry me over the river, he +refused. He was, probably, afraid of the police and a +fine, for no one can assist a run-away nun with impunity, +if caught in the act. He directed me, however, to the +owner of the boat, who said I could go if the captain +was willing to carry me. I knew very well that he would +not, and I took my place in the boat as though I had a +perfect right to it. + +We were almost across the river, when the captain saw +me, and gave orders to turn back the boat, and leave me +on the shore from whence we started. From his appearance +I thought we were pursued, and I was not mistaken. Five +priests were following us in another boat, and they too, +turned back, and reached the shore almost as soon as we +did. I left the boat and ran for my life. I was now sure +that I was pursued; there could be no doubt of that, for +the sound of footsteps behind me came distinct to my ear. +At a little distance stood a small, white house. Could +I not reach it? Would not the people protect me? The +thought gave me courage, and I renewed my efforts. Nearer +came the footsteps, but I reached the house, and without +knocking, or asking permission, I sprang through the +door. + +The people were in bed, in another room, but a man looked +out, and asked what I wanted. "I'm a nun," said I. "I've +run away from the Grey Nunnery, and they're after me. +Hide me, O hide me, and God will bless you!" As I spoke +he put out his hand and opened the cellar door. "Here," +said he, "run down cellar, I'll be with you in a moment." +I obeyed, and he struck a light and followed. Pointing +to a place where he kept ashes, he said hastily, "Crawl +in there." There was not a moment to lose, for before he +had covered up my hiding place, a loud knock was heard +upon the front door. Having extinguished his light, he +ran up stairs, and opened the door with the appearance +of having just left his bed. "Who is here?" he asked, +"and what do you want this time of night?" One of them +replied, "We are in search of a nun, and are very sure +she came in here?" "Well gentlemen," said he, "walk in, +and see for yourselves. If she is here, you are at liberty +to find her." Lighting a candle, he proceeded to guide +them over the house, which they searched until they were +satisfied. They then came down cellar, and I gave up all +hope of escape. Still, I resolved never to be taken alive. +I could strangle myself, and I would do it, rather than +suffer as I did before. At that moment I could truly say +with the inspired penman, with whose language I have +since become familiar, "my soul chooseth strangling and +death rather than life." + +They looked all around me, and even into the place where +I lay concealed, but they did not find me. At length I +heard them depart, and so great was my joy, I could hardly +restrain my feelings within the bounds of decorum. I felt +as though I must dance and sing, shout aloud or leap for +joy at my great deliverance. I am sure I should have +committed some extravagant act had not the gentleman at +that moment called me up, and told me that my danger was +by no means past. This information so dashed my cup of +bliss that I was able to drink it quietly. + +He gave me some refreshment, and as soon as safety would +permit, saddled his horse, and taking me on behind him, +carried me six miles to another boat, put me on board, +and paid the captain three dollars to carry me to Laprairie. +On leaving me, he gave me twenty-five cents, and said, +"you'll be caught if you go with the other passengers." +The captain said he could hide me and no one know that +I was on board, but himself. He led me to the end of the +boat, and put me upon a board over the horses. He fixed +a strong cord for me to hold on by, and said, "you must +be careful and not fall down, for the horses would +certainly kill you before you could be taken out." The +captain was very kind to me and when I left him, gave me +twenty-five cents, and some good advice. He said I must +hurry along as fast as possible, for it was Jubilee, and +the priests would all be in church at four o'clock. He +also advised me not to stop in any place where a Romish +priest resided, "for," said he, "the convent people have, +undoubtedly, telegraphed all over the country giving a +minute description of your person, and the priests will +all be looking for you." + +Two days I travelled as fast as my strength would allow, +when I came to Sorel, which was on the other side of the +river. Here I saw several priests on the road coming +directly towards me. That they were after me, I had not +a doubt. Whither should I flee? To escape by running, +was out of the question, but just at that moment my eye +fell upon a boat near the shore. I ran to the captain, +and asked him to take me across the river. He consented, +and, as I expected, the priests took another boat and +followed us. Once more I gave myself up for lost, and +prepared to spring into the water, if they were likely +to overtake me. The man understood my feelings, and +exerted all his strength to urge forward the boat. At +last it reached the shore, and as he helped me out he +whispered, "Now run." I did run, but though my own liberty +was at stake I could not help thinking about the +consequences to that man if I escaped, for I knew they +would make him pay a heavy fine for his benevolent act. +A large house stood in my way, and throwing open the door +I exclaimed, "Are there any protestants here?" "O, yes," +replied a man who sat there, "come with me." He led me +to the kitchen, where a large company of Irish men were +rolling little balls on a table. I saw the men were Irish +and my first thought was, "I am betrayed." + +But my fears were soon relieved, for the man exclaimed, +"Here is a nun, inquiring for protestants." "Well," +replied one who seemed to be a leader, "this is the right +place to find them. We are all true Orange men." And then +they all began to shout, "Down with the Catholics! Down +with the Pope! Death to the Jesuits! etc." I was frightened +at their violence, but their leader came to me, and with +the kindness of a brother, said, "Do not fear us. If you +are a run-away, we will protect you." He bade the men be +still and asked if any one was after me. I told him about +the priests, and he replied, "you have come to the right +place for protection, for they dare not show themselves +here. I am the leader of a band of Anti-Catholics, and +this is their lodge. You have heard of us, I presume; we +are called Orange men. Our object is, to overthrow the +Roman Catholic religion, and we are bound by the most +fearful oaths to stand by each other, and protect all +who seek our aid. The priests dread our influence, for +we have many members, and I hope ere long, the power of +the Pope in this country will be at an end. I am sure +people must see what a cruel, hypocritical set they are." + +Before he had done speaking, a man came to the door and +said, "The carriage is ready." Another of the men, on +hearing this, said, "Come with me, and I'll take you out +of the reach of the priests." He conducted me to a +carriage, which was covered and the curtains all fastened +down. He helped me into it, directing me to sit upon the +back seat, where I could not be seen by any one unless +they took particular pains. He drove to St. Oars that +night, and, if I remember right, he said the distance +was twelve miles. When, he left me he gave me twenty-five +cents. I travelled all night, and about midnight passed +through St. Dennis, But I did not stop until the next +morning, when I called at a house and asked for something +to eat. The lady gave me some bread and milk, and I again +pursued my way. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +EVENTFUL JOURNEY. + +Once more I had the good fortune to obtain a passage +across the river in a ferry-boat, and was soon pressing +onward upon the other side. Passing through two places +called St. Mary's and St. John's, I followed the railroad +to a village which I was informed was called Stotsville, +[Footnote: I beg leave once more to remind the reader +that it is by no means certain that I give these names +correctly. Hearing them pronounced, with no idea of ever +referring to them again, it is not strange that mistakes +of this kind should occur.] a great part of the property +being owned by a Mr. Stots, to whom I was at once directed. +Here I stopped, and was kindly received by the gentleman +and his wife. They offered me refreshments, gave me some +articles of clothing, and then he carried me twelve miles, +and left me at Rouse's Point, to take the cars for Albany. +He gave me six dollars to pay my expenses, and a letter +of introduction to a gentleman by the name of Williams, +in which he stated all the facts he knew concerning me, +and commended me to his care for protection. I think he +said Mr. Williams lived on North Pearl street, but I may +be mistaken in this and also in some other particulars. +As I had no thought of relating these facts at the time +of their occurrence, I did not fix them in my mind as I +otherwise should have done. + +Mr. Stots said that if I could not find the gentleman to +whom the letter was directed, I was to take it to the +city authorities, and they would protect me. As he assisted +me from the carriage he said, "You will stop here until +the cars come along, and you must get your own ticket. +I shall not notice you again, and I do not wish you to +speak to me." I entered the depot intending to follow +his directions; but when I found the cars would not come +along for three hours, I did not dare to stay. There was +quite a large collection of people there, and I feared +that some one would suspect and stop me. I therefore +resolved to follow the railroad, and walk on to the next +station. On my way I passed over a railroad bridge, which +I should think was two miles long. The wind blew very +hard at the time, and I found it exceedingly difficult +to walk upon the narrow timbers. More than once I came +near losing my precarious footing, and I was in constant +fear that the train would overtake me before I got over. +In that case I had resolved to step outside the track +where I thought I could stand upon the edge of the bridge +and hold on by the telegraph poles, and thus let them +pass without doing me injury. Happily, however, I was +not compelled to resort to this perilous expedient, but +passed the bridge in safety. At the end I found another +nearly as long, connected with it by a drawbridge. When +I drew near it was up for a boat to pass; but a man called +to me, and asked if I wish to go over. I told him I did, +and he let down the bridge. As I approached him he asked, +"Are you mad? or how came you here?" I told him I had +walked from the depot at Rouse's Point. He appeared +greatly surprised, and said, "You are the first person +who ever walked over that bridge. Will you come to my +house and rest awhile? You must be very weary, and my +wife will be glad to see you. She is rather lonely here, +and is pleased to see any one. Will you come? 'Tis only +a short distance, just down under the bridge." Those last +words decided me. I thanked him, but firmly refused to +go one step out of my way. I thought that he wished to +deceive me, perhaps take me to some out-of-the-way place, +and give me up to my pursuers. At all events, it was wise +not to trust him, for I was sure there was no house near +the bridge, certainly not under it. I have since learned +that such is the fact. As I turned to leave him, he again +urged me to stop, and said, "The cars will soon be along, +and they will run over you. How do you expect to get out +of their way?" I told him I would risk it, and left him. +I passed on in safety, and soon came to the depot, where +I took the evening train for Albany. At eight the same +evening I left the cars, and walked on towards Troy, +which I think was four miles distant. Here I met a lad, +of whom I inquired the way to Albany. "You cannot get +there to-night," said he, "and I advise you not to try." +When he saw that I was determined to go on, he said I +would pass a tavern called the half-way house, and if I +was tired I could stop there. It was about eleven o'clock +when I passed this house, There were several persons on +the piazza, laughing, talking, and singing, who called +me as I passed, shouted after me, and bade me stop. +Exceedingly frightened, I ran with all possible speed, +but they continued to call after me till I was out of +hearing. Seeing a light at a house near by, I ventured +to rap on the door. It was opened by a woman, who asked +me to walk in. I inquired the distance to Albany. She +informed me, but said, "You can't go there to-night." I +told her I must, "Well," said she, "if you will go, the +watch will take care of you when you get there." She then +asked, "Were those men calling after you?" I told her I +supposed they were, when she replied, with a peculiar +smile, "I guess you can't be a very nice kind of girl, +or you wouldn't be on the street this time of night." My +feelings were so deeply wounded I could hardly restrain +my tears at this cruel insinuation; but pride came to my +aid, and, choking down the rising emotion, I replied as +carelessly as possible, "I must do as I can, and not as +I would." + +It was about one o'clock at night when I entered the +principal street in Albany, and, as the lady predicted, +a watchman came to me and asked why I was out that time +of night. I gave him Mr. Stot's letter. He stood beside +a lamp-post and read it, when he seemed satisfied, and +said, "I know the man; come with me and I'll take you to +his house." I followed him a long way, till at last he +stopped before a large house, and rang the bell. Mr. +Williams came to the door, and asked what was wanted. +The watchman gave him the letter. He read it, and invited +me to stop. His wife got up, received me very kindly, +and gave me some supper, for which I was truly grateful. +Nor was I less thankful for the delicate consideration +with which they avoided any allusion to my convent life, +or my subsequent flight and suffering. Mrs. Williams +saw that I was sad and weary, and as she conducted me to +a comfortable bed, she remarked, "You are safe at last, +and I am glad of it. You can now retire without the +apprehension of danger, and sleep in perfect security. +You are with friends who will protect you as long as you +choose to remain with us." + +Notwithstanding the good lady's assurance of safety, I +found it impossible to close my eyes. I was among strangers, +in a strange place, and, having been so often deceived, +might I not be again? Perhaps, after all their pretended +kindness, they were plotting to betray me. A few days, +however, convinced me that I had at last found real +friends, who would protect me in the hour of danger to +the utmost of their ability. + +I remained here some four weeks, and should +have remained longer, but an incident transpired +that awakened all my fears, and again sent me +forth into the wide world, a fugitive, and a wanderer. +I went to my chamber one night, when I +heard a sound like the full, heavy respiration of a +man in deep sleep. The sound appeared to come +from under the bed, but stopped as I entered the +room. I was very much alarmed, but I controlled +my feelings, and instead of running shrieking +from the room, I deliberately closed the blinds, shut +the windows, adjusted the curtain, all the time +carelessly humming a tune, and taking up my +lamp I slowly left the room. Once outside the +door, I ran in all haste to Mr. Williams, and told +him what I had heard. He laughed at me, said it +was all imagination, but, to quiet my fears, he +went to my room resolved to convince me that no +one was there. I followed, and stood at the door +while he lifted the bed valance, when a large, tall +man sprang forth, and caught him with one hand +while with the other he drew a pistol from beneath +his coat saying, "Let me go, and I'll depart in +peace; but attempt to detain me, and I'll blow +your brains out." I shrieked, and Mrs. Williams +came in great terror and consternation, to see what +was the matter. But she could render no assistance, +and Mr. Williams, being unarmed, was +obliged to let him go. The watch were immediately +called, and they sought for the intruder in +every direction. No effort was spared to find him, +that we might, at least, learn the object of this +untimely visit. But the search was all in vain. +No trace of his whereabouts could be discovered. + +Mr. Williams said he did not believe it was me he sought. +He thought the object was robbery, and perhaps arson and +murder, but he would not think that I was in the least +danger. "The man," he said, "in hastily concealing himself +had taken the first hiding place he could find." Yet I +thought otherwise. Indeed, so sure was I that he was an +agent of the priests, sent forth for the express purpose +of arresting me, no earthly consideration would have +induced me to remain there another day. The rest of that +night I spent in a state of anxiety I cannot describe. +Sleep fled from my eyes. I dared not even undress and go +to bed, but I sat in my chair, or walked the room every +moment expecting the return of the mysterious visitor. +I shuddered at every sound, whether real or imaginary. +Once in particular, I remember, the distant roll of +carriage wheels fell upon my ear. I listened; it came +near, and still nearer, till at last it stopped, as I +thought, at the gate. For a moment I stood literally +stupified with terror, and then I hastily prepared to +use the means for self destruction I had already provided +in anticipation of such an emergency. I was still resolved +never to be taken alive. "Give me liberty or give me +death," was now the language of my soul. If I could not +enjoy the one, I would cordially embrace the other. But +it was a sad alternative after all I had suffered that +I might be free, after all my buoyant hopes, all my ardent +aspirations for a better life. O, it was a bitter thing, +thus to stand in the darkness of night, and with my own +hand carefully adjust the cord that was to cut me off +from the land of the living, and in a moment launch my +trembling soul into the vast, unknown, untried, and +fearful future, that men call eternity! Was this to be +the only use I was to make of liberty? Was it for this +I had so long struggled, toiled, wept and prayed? "God +of mercy," I cried, "save, O save me from this last great +sin! From the sad and dire necessity which thus urges me +to cut short a life which thou alone canst give!" My +prayer was heard; but how slowly passed the hours of that +weary night while I waited for the day that I might +"hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest." +Truly, at that time I could say with one of old, +"Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror +hath overwhelmed me. My heart is sore pained within me, +and the terrors of death are fallen upon me. Oh that I +had the wings of a dove, for then would I flee away, and +be at rest." + +But alas! I had not the wings of a dove, and whither +should I flee from the furious grasp of my relentless +persecutors? Again I must go forth into the "busy haunts +of men," I must mingle with the multitude, and what chance +had I for ultimate escape? If I left these kind friends, +and leave them I must, who would take me in? In whom +could I confide? Who would have the power to rescue me +in my hour of need? In God alone could I trust, yet why +is he so far from helping me? Why are my prayers so long +unanswered? And why does he thus allow the wicked to +triumph; to lay snares for the feet of the innocent, and +wrongfully persecute those whom their wanton cruelty hath +caused to sit in darkness and in the shadow of death? +Why does he not at once "break the bands of iron, and +let the oppressed go free?" + +The tedious night at length passed away. When I met Mr. +Williams in the morning, I told him I could no longer +remain with him, for I was sure if I did, I should be +suddenly arrested in some unguarded moment, and carried +back to Montreal. He urged me to stay, assured me he +would never allow them to take me, said that he thought +some of going south, and I could go with him, and thus +be removed far from all whom I feared. Mrs. Williams, +also, strove to persuade me to stay. But, though sorry +to appear ungrateful, I dared not remain another night +where I felt that my danger was so great. + +When they found that I was determined to go, Mr. Williams +said I had better go to Worcester, Mass., and try to get +employment in some farmer's family, a little out of the +city. He gave me money to bear my expenses, until I found +a place where I could earn my living. It was with a sad +heart that I left this hospitable roof, and as I turned +away I said in my heart, "Shall I always be hunted through +the world in this manner, obliged to flee like a guilty +thing, and shall I never find a home of happiness and +peace? Must sorrow and despair forever be the portion of +my cup?" But no words of mine can describe what I felt +at that moment. I longed for the power to sound a warning +through the length and breadth of the land, to cry in +the ears of all the people, "Beware of Romanism!" Like +the patient man of Uz, with whose history I have since +become familiar, I was ready to exclaim, "O that my words +were now written! O that they were printed in a book! +Graven with an iron pen," that the whole world might know +what a fearful and bitter thing it is to be a nun! To +be subject to the control of those ruthless tyrants, the +Romish Priests. + +Once more I entered the depot, and mingled with the crowd +around the ticket office. But no pen can describe my +terror when I found myself the object of particular +attention. I heard people remark about my strange and +unnatural appearance, and I feared I might be taken up +for a crazy person, if not for a nun. Thinking that I +saw an enemy in every face, and a pursuer in every one +who came near me, I hastened to take refuge in the cars. +There I waited with the greatest impatience for the +starting of the train. Slowly the cars were filled; very +leisurely the passengers sought their seats, while I sat +trembling in every limb, and the cold perspiration starting +from every pore. How carefully I scanned every face! how +eagerly I watched for some indication of the priest or +the spy! So intense was my anxiety, those few moments +seemed to me an age of agony. At length the shrill whistle +announced that all was ready, and like sweetest music +the sound fell upon my ears. The train dashed off at +lightning speed, but to me it seemed like the movement +of a snail. + +Once under way, I ventured to breathe freely, and hope +again revived. Perchance I might yet escape. But even as +the thought passed my mind, a man entered the cars and +seated himself directly, before me. I thought he regarded +me with too much interest, and thinking to shun him, I +quietly left my seat and retired to the other end of the +car. He soon followed, and again my fears revived. He +at first tried to converse with me, but finding I would +not reply, he began to question me in the most direct +and impertinent manner. Again I changed my seat, and +again he followed. I then sought the conductor, and +revealed to him enough of my history to enlist his sympathy +and ensure his protection. To his honor be it spoken, I +did not appeal to him in vain. He severely reproved the +man for his impertinence; and for the rest of the journey +I was shielded from insult or injury. + +Nothing further of interest transpired until I reached +Worcester, when the first face that met my eye as I was +about to leave the cars was that of a Romish priest. I +could not be mistaken, for I had often seen him at +Montreal. He might not have been looking for me, but he +watched every passenger as they left the cars in a way +that convinced me he had some special reason for doing +it. As I, too, had special reasons for avoiding him just +at that time, I stepped back out of sight until the +passengers were all out of the cars and the priest had +turned away. I then sprang out upon the opposite side, +and, turning my back upon the depot, hastened away amid +the wilderness of houses, not knowing whither I went. +For a long time I wandered around, until at length, being +faint and weary, I began to look for some place where I +could obtain refreshment. But when I found a restaurant +I did not dare to enter. A number of Irishmen were standing +around who were in all probability Catholics. I would +not venture among them; but as I turned aside I remembered +that Mr. Williams had directed me to seek employment a +little out of the city. I then inquired the way to Main +street, and having found it, I turned to the north and +walked on till I found myself out of the thickly settled +part of the city. Then I began to seek for employment, +and after several fruitless applications I chanced to +call upon a man whose name was Handy. He received me in +the kindest manner, and when I asked for work, he said +his wife did not need to hire me, but I was welcome to +stop with them and work for my board until I found +employment elsewhere. This offer I joyfully accepted; +and, as I became acquainted in the place, many kind hands +were extended to aid me in my efforts to obtain an honest +living. In this neighborhood I still reside, truly +thankful for past deliverance, grateful for present +mercies, and confidently trusting God for the future. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + +CONCLUSION. + +Here closes the history of Sarah J. Richardson, as related +by herself. The remaining particulars have been obtained +from her employers in Worcester. + +She arrived in this city August, 1854, and, as she has +already stated, at once commenced seeking for employment. +She called at many houses before she found any one who +wished for help; and her first question at each place +was, "Are you a Catholic?" If the answer was in the +affirmative, she passed on, but if the family were +Protestants, she inquired for some kind of employment. +She did not care what it was; she would cook, wash, sew, +or do chamber-work--anything to earn her bread. A Mr. +Handy was the first person who took her in, and gave her +a home. In his family she worked for her board a few +weeks, going out to wash occasionally as she had +opportunity. She then went to Holden Mass., but for some +reason remained only one week, and again returned to +Worcester. + +Mr. Ezra Goddard then took her into his own family, and +found her capable, industrious, and trustworthy. Had +anything been wanting to prove her truthfulness and +sincerity, the deep gratitude of her fervent "I thank +you," when told that she had found a permanent home, +would have done it effectually. But though her whole +appearance indicated contentment and earnestness of +purpose, though her various duties were faithfully and +zealously performed, yet the deep sadness of her +countenance, and the evident anxiety of her mind at first +awakened a suspicion of mental derangement. She seemed +restless, suspicious, and morbidly apprehensive of +approaching danger. The appearance of a stranger, or a +sudden ringing of the bell, would cause her to start, +tremble, and exhibit the greatest perturbation of spirit. +In fact, she seemed so constantly on the qui vive, the +lady of the house one day said to her, "Sarah, what is +the matter with you? what do you fear?" "The Roman Catholic +priests," she replied. "I have been a nun. I ran away +from the Grey Nunnery at Montreal, and twice I have been +caught, carried back, and punished in the most cruel +manner. O, if you knew what I have suffered, you would +not wonder that I live in constant fear lest they again +seek out my retreat; and I will die before I go back +again." + +Further questioning drew from her the foregoing narrative, +which she repeated once and again to various persons, +and at different times, without the least alteration or +contradiction. She resided in the family of Mr. Goddard +some weeks, when she was taken into the employ of Mr. +Amos L. Black. + +This gentleman informs us that he found her a faithful, +industrious, honest servant, and he has not the least +doubt of the truthfulness of her statements respecting +her former life in the Convent. + +A few weeks after this, she was married to Frederick S. +Richardson with whom she became acquainted soon after +her arrival in the city of Worcester. The marriage ceremony +was performed by Charles Chaffin, Esq., of Holden, Mass. +After their marriage, her husband hired a room in the +house occupied by Mr. Handy with whom she had formerly +resided. After a few weeks, however, they removed to a +place called the Drury farm. It is owned by the heirs, +but left in the care of Mr. Ezra Goddard. + +Previous to her marriage, Mrs. Richardson had often been +advised to allow her history to be placed before the +public. But she always replied, "For my life I would not +do it. Not because I do not wish the world to know it, +for I would gladly proclaim it wherever a Romanist is +known, but it would be impossible for me to escape their +hands should I make myself so public. They would most +assuredly take my life." After her marriage, however, +her principal objection was removed. She thought they +would not wish to take her back into the nunnery, and +her husband would protect her from violence. She therefore +related the story of her life while in the convent, which, +in accordance with her own request, was written down from +her lips as she related it. This was done by Mrs. Lucy +Ann Hood, wife of Edward P. Hood, and daughter of Ezra +Goddard. It is now given to the public without addition +or alteration, and with but a slight abridgment. A strange +and startling story it certainly is. Perhaps the reader +will cast it aside at once as a worthless fiction,--the +idle vagary of an excited brain. The compiler, of course, +cannot vouch for its truth, but would respectfully invite +the attention of the reader to the following testimonials +presented by those who have known the narrator. The first +is from Edward P. Hood, with whom Mrs. Richardson resided +when her narrative was written. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF EDWARD P. HOOD.) + +To all whom it may concern. I hereby certify that I was +personally acquainted with Sarah J. Richards, now Sarah +J. Richardson, at the time she resided in Worcester, +Mass. I first saw her at the house of Mr. Ezra Goddard, +where she came seeking employment. She appeared anxious +to get some kind of work, was willing to do anything to +earn an honest living. She had the appearance of a person +who had seen much suffering and hardship. She worked for +Mr. Goddard a short time, when she obtained another place. +She then left, but called very often; and during her stay +in Worcester, she worked there several times. So far as +I was able to judge of her character, I do not hesitate +to say that she was a woman of truth and honesty. I +heard her relate the account of her life and sufferings +in the Grey Nunnery, and her final escape. I knew when +the story was written, and can testify to its being done +according to her own dictation. I have examined the +manuscript, and can say that it a written out truly and +faithfully as related by the nun herself. + +EDWARD P. HOOD. + +Worcester, May 5, 1856. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF EZRA GODDARD.) + +I first became acquainted with Sarah J. Richardson in +August 1854. She came to my house to work for my wife. +She was at my house a great many times after that until +March 1855, when she left Worcester. At one time she was +there four or five weeks in succession. She was +industrious, willing to do anything to get an honest +living. She was kind in her disposition, and honest in +her dealings. I have no hesitation in saying that I think +her statements can be relied upon. + +EZRA GODDARD. + +Worcester, Jan. 21, 1856. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF LUCY GODDARD.) + +I am acquainted with the above named Sarah J. Richardson, +and can fully testify to the truth of the above statements +as to her kindness and industrious habits, honesty and +truthfulness. + +LUCY GODDARD. + +Worcester, Jan. 21, 1856. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF JOSIAH GODDARD.) + +To whom it may concern: This is to testify that I am +acquainted with Sarah J. Richardson, formerly Sarah J. +Richards. I became acquainted with her in the fall of +1854. She worked at my father's at the time. I heard her +tell her story, and from what I saw of her while she was +in Worcester, I have no hesitation in saying that she +was a woman of truth and honesty. + +JOSIAH GODDARD. + +Worcester, March 1, 1856. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF EBEN JEWETT.) + +I became acquainted with Sarah J. Richardson last winter, +at the house of Mr. Ezra Goddard; saw her a number of +times after that, at the place where I boarded. She did +some work for my wife, and I heard her speak of being at +the Grey Nunnery. I also heard her story, from Mr. +Goddard's family. I have no doubt of her being honest +and truthful, and I believe she is so considered by all +who became acquainted with her. + +EBEN JEWETT. + +Worcester, Feb., 1856. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF CHARLES CHAFFIN.) + +Worcester, ss.--Holden, Nov. 11, 1854. + +This certifies that I this day united in marriage, +Frederick S. Richardson and Sarah J. Richards, both of +Worcester. + +CHARLES CHAFFIN, Justice of the Peace. + + + +(AFFIDAVIT.) + +I, Sarah J. Richardson, wife of Frederick S. Richardson, +of the city of Worcester, County of Worcester, and +Commonwealth of Massachusetts, formerly Sarah J. Richards +before marriage, do solemnly swear, declare and say, that +the foregoing pages contain a true and faithful history +of my life before my marriage to the said Frederick S. +Richardson, and that every statement made herein by me +is true. In witness whereof, I do hereunto set my hand +and seal, this 13th day of March, A.D. 1855. + +SARAH J. RICHARDSON (X her mark.) + +In presence of WM. GREENLEAF. + +Sworn to before me, the 13th day of March, AD. 1855. + +WM. GREENLEAF, Justice of the Peace. + + + +(TESTIMONY OF Z. K. PANGBORN.) + +When it was known that the Narrative of Sarah J. Richardson +was about to be published, Mr. Z. K. Pangborn, at that +time editor of the Worcester Daily Transcript, voluntarily +offered the following testimony which we copy from one +of his editorials. + +"We have no doubt that the nun here spoken of as one who +escaped from the Grey Nunnery at Montreal, is the same +person who spent some weeks in our family in the fall of +1853, after her first escape from the Nunnery. She came +in search of employment to our house in St. Albans, Vt., +stating that she had traveled on foot from Montreal, and +her appearance indicated that she was poor, and had seen +hardship. She obtained work at sewing, her health not +being sufficient for more arduous task. She appeared to +be suffering under some severe mental trial, and though +industrious and lady-like in her deportment, still appeared +absent minded, and occasionally singular in her manner. +After awhile she revealed the fact to the lady of the +house, that she had escaped from the Grey Nunnery at +Montreal, but begged her not to inform any one of the +fact, as she feared, if it should be known, that she +would be retaken, and carried back. A few days after +making this disclosure, she suddenly disappeared. Having +gone out one evening, and failing to return, much inquiry +was made, but no trace of her was obtained for some +months. Last spring a gentleman from Worcester, Mass. +called on us to make inquiries in regard to this same +person and gave us the following account of her as given +by herself. She states that on the evening when she so +mysteriously disappeared from our house, she called upon +an Irish family whose acquaintance she had formed, and +when she was coming away, was suddenly seized, gagged, +and thrust into a close carriage, or box, as she thought, +and on the evening of the next day found herself once +more consigned to the tender mercies of the Grey Nunnery +in Montreal. Her capture was effected by a priest who +tracked her to St. Albans, and watched his opportunity +to seize her. She was subjected to the most rigorous and +cruel treatment, to punish her for running away, and kept +in close confinement till she feigned penitence and +submission, when she was treated less cruelly, and allowed +more liberty. + +"But the difficulties in the way of an escape, only +stimulated her the more to make the attempt, and she +finally succeeded a second time in getting out of that +place which she described as a den of cruelty and misery. +She was successful also in eluding her pursuers, and in +reaching this city, (Worcester,) where she remained some +time, seeking to avoid notoriety, as she feared she might +be again betrayed and captured. She is now, however, in +a position where she does not fear the priests, and +proposes to give to the world a history of her life in +the Nunnery. The disclosures she makes are of the most +startling character, but of her veracity and good character +we have the most satisfactory evidence." + +This statement was confirmed by Mrs. Pangborn, a sister +of the late Mrs Branard, the lady with whom Sarah J. +Richardson stopped in St. Albans, and by whom she was +employed as a seamstress. Being an inmate of the family +at the time, Mrs Pangborn states that she had every +opportunity to become acquainted with the girl and learn +her true character. The family, she says, were all +interested in her, although they knew nothing of her +secret, until a few days before she left. She speaks of +her as being "quiet and thoughtful, diligent, faithful +and anxious to please, but manifesting an eager desire +for learning, that she might be able to acquaint herself +more perfectly with the Holy Scriptures. She could, at +that time, read a little, and her mind was well stored +with select passages from the sacred volume, which she +seemed to take great delight in repeating. She was able +to converse intelligently upon almost any subject, and +never seemed at a loss for language to express her +thoughts. No one could doubt that nature had given her +a mind capable of a high degree of religious and +intellectual culture, and that, with the opportunity for +improvement, she would become a useful member of society. +Of book knowledge she was certainly quite ignorant, but +she had evidently studied human nature to some good +purpose." Mrs Pangborn also corroborates many of the +statements in her narrative. She often visited the Grey +Nunnery, and says that the description given of the +building, the Academy, the Orphan's Home, and young ladies +school, are all correct. The young Smalley mentioned in +the narrative was well known to her, and also his sister +"little Sissy Smalley," as they used to call her. +Inquiries have been made of those acquainted with the +route along which the fugitive passed in her hasty flight, +and we are told that the description is in general correct; +that even the mistakes serve to prove the truthfulness +of the narrator, being such as a person would be likely +to make when describing from memory scenes and places +they had seen but once; whereas, if they were getting up +a fiction which they designed to represent as truth, such +mistakes would be carefully avoided. + + + + +APPENDIX I. + +ABSURDITIES OF ROMANISTS. + +It may perchance be thought by some persons that the +foregoing narrative contains many things too absurd and +childish for belief. "What rational man," it may be said, +"would ever think of dressing up a figure to represent +the devil, for the purpose of frightening young girls +into obedience? And those absurd threats! Surely no sane +man, and certainly no Christian teacher, would ever stoop +to such senseless mummery!" + +Incredible it may seem--foolish, false, inconsistent with +reason, or the plain dictates of common sense, it certainly +is--but we have before us well-authenticated accounts of +transactions in which the Romish priests claimed powers +quite as extraordinary, and palmed off upon a credulous, +superstitious people stories quite as silly and ridiculous +as anything recorded in these pages. Indeed, so barefaced +and shameless were their pretensions in some instances, +that even their better-informed brethren were ashamed of +their folly, and their own archbishop publicly rebuked +their dishonesty, cupidity and chicanery. In proof of +this we place before our readers the following facts +which we find in a letter from Professor Similien, of +the college of Angers, addressed to the Union de l'Ouest: + +"Some years ago a pretended miracle was reported as +having occurred upon a mountain called La Salette, in +the southeastern part of France, where the Virgin Mary +appeared in a very miraculous manner to two young shepherds. +The story, however, was soon proved to be a despicable +trick of the priest, and as such was publicly exposed. +But the Bishop of Lucon, within whose diocese the sacred +mountain stands, appears to have been unwilling to +relinquish the advantage which he expected to result from +a wide-spread belief in this infamous fable. Accordingly, +in July, 1852, it was again reported that no less than +three miracles were wrought there by the Holy Virgin. +The details were as follows: + +"A young pupil at the religious establishment of the +visitation of Valence, who had been for three months +completely blind from an attack of gutta-serena, arrived +at La Salette on the first of July, in company with some +sisters of the community. The extreme fatigue which she +had undergone in order to reach the summit of the mountain, +at the place of the apparition, caused some anxiety to +be felt that she could not remain fasting until the +conclusion of the mass, which had not yet commenced, and +the Abbe Sibilla, one of the missionaries of La Salette, +was requested to administer the sacrament to her before +the service began. She had scarcely received the sacred +wafer, when, impelled by a sudden inspiration, she raised +her head and exclaimed, 'ma bonne mere, je vous vois.' +She had, in fact, her eyes fixed on the statue of the +Virgin, which she saw as clearly as any one present For +more than an hour she remained plunged in an ecstasy of +gratitude and love, and afterward retired from the place +without requiring the assistance of those who accompanied +her. At the same moment a woman from Gap, nearly sixty +years of age, who for the last nineteen years had not +had the use of her right arm, in consequence of a +dislocation, suddenly felt it restored to its original +state, and swinging round the once paralyzed limb, she +exclaimed, in a transport of joy and gratitude, 'And I +also am cured!' A third cure, although not instantaneous, +is not the less striking. Another woman, known in the +country for years as being paralytic, could not ascend +the mountain but with the greatest difficulty, and with +the aid of crutches. On the first day of the neuvane, +that of her arrival, she felt a sensation as if life was +coming into her legs, which had been for so long tune +dead. This feeling went on increasing, and the last day +of the neuvane, after having received the communion, she +went, without any assistance, to the cross of the +assumption, where she hung up her crutches. She also was +cured. + +"Bishop Lucon must have known that this was mere imposition; +yet, so far from exposing a fraud so base, he not only +permits his people to believe it, but he lends his whole +influence to support and circulate the falsehood. And +why? Ah! a church was to be erected; and it was necessary +to get up a little enthusiasm among the people in order +to induce them to fill his exhausted coffers, and build +the church. In proof of this, we have only to quote a +few extracts from the 'Pastoral' which he issued on this +occasion. + +"'And now," he says, "Mary has deigned to appear on the +summit of a lofty mountain to two young shepherds, +revealing to them the secrets of heaven. But who attests +the truth of the narrative of these Alpine pastors? No +other than the men themselves, and they are believed. +They declare what they have seen, they repeat what they +have heard, they retain what they have received commandment +to keep secret. + +"A few words of the incomparable Mother of God have +transformed them into new men. Incapable of concerting +aught between themselves, or of imagining anything similar +to what they relate, each is the witness to a vision +which has not found him unbelieving; each is its historian. +These two shepherds, dull as they were, have at once +understood and received the lesson which was vouchsafed +to them, and it is ineffaceably engraven on their hearts. +They add nothing to it, they take nothing from it, they +modify it in nowise, they deliver the oracle of Heaven +just as they have received it. + +"An admirable constancy enabled them to guard the secret, +a singular sagacity made them discern all the snares laid +for them, a rare prudence suggested to them a thousand +responses, not one of which betrayed their secret; and +when at length the time came when it was their duty to +make it known to the common Father of the Faithful, they +wrote correctly, as if reading a book placed under their +eyes. Their recital drew to this blessed mountain thousands +of pilgrims. + +"They proclaimed that 'on Saturday, the 19th of September, +1846, Mary manifested herself to them; and the anniversary +of this glorious day is henceforth and forever dear to +Christian piety. Will not every pilgrim who repairs to +this holy mountain add his testimony to the truthfulness +of these young shepherds? Mary halted near a fountain; +she communicated to it a celestial virtue, a divine +efficacy. From being intermittent, this spring, today so +celebrated, became perennial. + +"'Every where is recounted the prodigies which she works. +When the afflicted are in despair, the infirm without +remedy, they resort to the waters of La Salette, and +cures are wrought by this remedy, whose power makes itself +felt against every evil. Our diocess, so devoted to Mary, +has been no stranger to the bounty of this tender Mother. +We are about to celebrate shortly the sixth anniversary +of this miraculous apparition. NOW THAT A SANCTUARY IS +TO BE RAISED on this holy mountain to the glory of God, +we have thought it right to inform you thereof. + +"'We cannot doubt that many of you have been heard by +our Lady of La Salette; you desire to witness your +gratitude to this mother of compassion; you would gladly +BRING YOUR STONE to the beautiful edifice that is to be +constructed. WE DESIRE TO FURTHER YOUR FILIAL TENDERNESS +WITH THE MEANS OF TRANSMITTING THE ALMS OF FAITH AND +PIETY. For these reasons, invoking the holy name of God, +we have ordained and do ordain as follows, viz.: + +"'First, we permit the appearance of our Lady of La +Salette to be preached throughout our diocess; secondly, +on Sunday, the 19th of September next ensuing, the litanies +of the Holy Virgin shall be chanted in all the chapels +and churches of the diocess, and be followed by the +benediction of the Holy Sacrament. Thirdly, THE FAITHFUL +WHO MAY DESIRE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE ERECTION OF THE NEW +SANCTUARY, MAY DEPOSIT THEIR OFFERINGS IN THE HANDS OF +THE CURE, WHO WILL TRANSMIT THEM TO US FOR THE BISHOP OF +GRENOBLE. + +"'Our present pastoral letter shall be read and published +after mass in every parish on the Sunday after its +reception. + +"'Given at Lucon, in our Episcopal palace, under our +sign-manual and the seal of our arms, and the official +counter-signature of our secretary, the 30th of June, of +the year of Grace, 1852. + +"'X Jac-Mar Jos, +"'Bishop of Lucon.'" + +"It is not a little remarkable," says the editor of the +American Christian Union, "that whilst the Bishop of +Lucon was engaged in extolling the miracles of La Salette, +the Cardinal Archbishop of Lyons, Dr. Bonald, 'Primate +of all the Gauls,' addressed a circular to all the priests +in his diocese, in which he cautions them against apocryphal +miracles! There is indubitable evidence that his grace +refers to the scandalous delusions of La Salette. His +language is severe, very severe. He attributes the miracles +in question to pecuniary speculation, which now-a-days, +he says, mingles with everything, seizes upon imaginary +facts, and profits by it at the expense of the credulous! +He charges the authors of these things with being GREEDY +MEN, who aim at procuring for themselves DISHONEST GAINS +by this traffic in superstitious objects! And he forbids +the publishing from the pulpit, without leave, of any +account of a miracle, even though its authenticity should +be attested by another Bishop! This is good. His grace +deserves credit for setting his face against this miserable +business, of palming off false miracles upon the people." + +[Footnote: Since the above was written, we have met with +the following explanation of this modern miracle: + +"A few years ago there was a great stir among 'the simple +faithful' in France, occasioned by a well-credited +apparition of the Holy Virgin at La Salette. She required +the erection of a chapel in her honor at that place, and +made such promises of special indulgences to all who paid +their devotions there, that it became 'all the rage' as +a place of pilgrimage. The consequence was, that other +shops for the same sort of wares in that region lost most +of their customers, and the good priests who tended the +tills were sorely impoverished. In self-defence, they, +WELL KNOWING HOW SUCH THINGS WERE GOT UP, exposed the +trick. A prelate publicly denounced the imposture, and +an Abbe Deleon, priest in the diocess of Grenoble, printed +a work called 'La Salette a Valley of Lies.' In this +publication it was maintained, with proofs, that the hoax +was gotten up by a Mademoiselle de Lamerliere, a sort of +half-crazy nun, who impersonated the character of the +Virgin. For the injury done to her character by this book +she sued the priest for damages to the tone of twenty +thousand francs, demanding also the infliction of the +utmost penalty of the law. The court, after a long and +careful investigation, for two days, as we learn by the +Catholic Herald, disposed of the case by declaring the +miracle-working damsel non-suited, and condemning her to +pay the expenses of the prosecution."--American and +Foreign Christian Union.] + +Another of Rome's marvellous stories we copy from the +New York Daily Times of July 3d, 1854. It is from the +pen of a correspondent at Rome, who, after giving an +account of the ceremony performed in the church of St. +Peters at the canonization of a NEW SAINT, under the name +of Germana, relates the following particulars of her +history. He says, "I take the facts as they are related +in a pamphlet account of her 'life, virtues, and miracles,' +published by authority at Rome: + +"Germana Consin was born near the village of Pibrac, in +the diocess of Toulouse, in France. Maimed in one hand, +and of a scrofulous constitution, she excited the hatred +of her step-mother, in whose power her father's second +marriage placed her while yet a child. This cruel woman +gave the little Germana no other bed than some vine twigs, +lying under a flight of stairs, which galled her limbs, +wearied with the day's labor. She also persuaded her +husband to send the little girl to tend sheep in the +plains, exposed to all extremes of weather. Injuries and +abuse were her only welcome when she returned from her +day's task to her home. To these injuries she submitted +with Christian meekness and patience, and she derived +her happiness and consolation from religious faith. She +went every day to church to hear mass, disregarding the +distance, the difficulty of the journey, and the danger +in which she left her flock. The neighboring forest was +full of wolves, who devoured great numbers from other +flocks, but never touched a sheep in that of Germana. To +go to the church she was obliged to cross a little river, +which was often flooded, but she passed with dry feet; +the waters flowing away from her on either side: howbeit +no one else dared to attempt the passage. Whenever the +signal sounded for the Ave Marie, wherever she might be +in conducting her sheep, even if in a ditch, or in mud +or mire, she kneeled down and offered her devotions to +the Queen of Heaven, nor were her garments wet or soiled. +The little children whom she met in the fields she +instructed in the truths of religion. For the poor she +felt the tenderest charity, and robbed herself of her +scanty pittance of bread to feed them. One day her +step-mother, suspecting that she was carrying away from +the house morsels of bread to be thus distributed, incited +her husband to look in her apron; he did so, BUT FOUND +IT FULL OF FLOWERS, BEAUTIFUL BUT OUT OF SEASON, INSTEAD +OF BREAD. This miraculous conversion of bread into +flowers formed the subject of one of the paintings +exhibited in St. Peter's at the Beatification. Industrious, +charitable, patient and forgiving, Germana lived a +memorable example of piety till she passed from earth in +the twenty second year of her age. The night of her death +two holy monks were passing, on a journey, in the +neighborhood of her house. Late at night they saw two +celestial virgins robed in white on the road that led to +her habitation; a few minutes afterwards they returned +leading between them another virgin clad in pure white, +and with a crown of flowers on her head. + +"Wonders did not cease with her death. Forty years after +this event her body was uncovered, in digging a grave +for another person, and found entirely uncorrupted--nay, +the blood flowed from a wound accidentally made in her +face. Great crowds assembled to see the body so miraculously +preserved, and it was carefully re-interred within the +church. There it lay in place until the French Revolution, +when it was pulled up and cast into a ditch and covered +with quick lime and water. But even this failed to injure +the body of the blessed saint. It was found two years +afterward entirely unhurt, and even the grave clothes +which surrounded it were entire, as on the day of sepulture, +two hundred years before. + +"And now in the middle of the nineteenth century, these +facts are published for the edification of believers, +and his Holiness has set his seal to their authenticity. +Four miracles performed by this saint after her death +are attested by the bull of beatification, and also by +Latin inscriptions in great letters displayed at St. +Peter's on the day of this great celebration. The monks +of the monastery at Bourges, in France, prayed her to +intercede on one occasion, that their store of bread +might be multiplied; on another their store of meal; on +both occasions THEIR PRAYER WAS GRANTED. The other two +miracles were cures of desperate maladies, the diseased +persons having been brought to pray over her tomb. + +"On the splendid scarlet hangings, bearing the arms of +Pius IX. and suspended at the corners of the nave and +transept, were two Latin inscriptions, of similar purport, +of one of which I give a translation: 'O Germana, raised +to-day to celestial honors by Pius IX. Pontifex Maximus, +since thou knowest that Pius has wept over thy nation +wandering from God, and has exultingly rejoiced at its +reconciling itself with God little by little, he prays +thee intimately united with God, do thou, for thou canst +do it, make known his wishes to God, and strengthen them, +for thou art able, with the virtue of thy prayers.' + +"I have been thus minute in my account of this +Beatification, deeming the facts I state of no little +importance and interest, as casting light upon the +character of the Catholicism of the present day, and +showing with what matters the Spiritual and Temporal +ruler of Rome is busying himself in this year of our Lord +eighteen hundred and fifty-four." + +Many other examples similar to the above might be given +from the history of Catholicism as it exists at the +present time in the old world. But let us turn to our +own country. We need not look to France or Rome for +examples of priestly intrigue of the basest kind; and +absurdities that almost surpass belief. The following +account which we copy from The American and Foreign +Christian Union of August, 1852, will serve to show that +the priests in these United States are quite as willing +to impose upon the ignorant and credulous as, their +brethren in other countries. The article is from the pen +of an Irish Missionary in the employ of The American and +Foreign Christian Union and is entitled, + + "A LYING WONDER." + +"It would seem almost incredible," says the editor of +this valuable Magazine, "that any men could be found in +this country who are capable of practising such wretched +deceptions. But the account given in the subjoined +statement is too well authenticated to permit us to reject +the story as untrue, however improbable it may, at first +sight, seem to be. Here it is:--? + +"Mr. Editor,--I give you, herein, some information +respecting a lying wonder wrought in Troy, New York, last +winter, and respecting the female who was the 'MEDIUM' +of it. I have come to the conclusion that this female is +a Jesuit, after as good an examination as I have been +able to give the matter. I have been fed with these lying +wonders in early life, and in Ireland as well as in this +country there are many who, for want of knowing any +better, will feed upon them in their hearts by faith and +thanksgiving. About the time this lying wonder of which +I am about to write happened, I had been talking of it +in the office of Mr. Luther, of Albany, (coal merchant), +where were a number of Irish waiting for a job. One of +these men declared, with many curses on his soul if what +he told was not true, that he had seen a devil cast out +of a woman in his own parish, in Ireland, by the priest. +I told him it would be better for his character's sake +for him to say he heard of it, than to say he SAW it. + +Mr. J. W. Lockwood, a respectable merchant in Troy, New +York, and son of the late mayor, kept two or three young +women as 'helps' for his lady, last winter. The name of +one is Eliza Mead, and the name of another is Catharine +Dillon, a native of the county of Limerick, Ireland. +Eliza was an upper servant, who took care of her mistress +and her children. Catharine was and is now the cook. +Eliza appeared to her mistress to be a very well educated, +and a very intellectual woman of 35, though she would +try to make believe she could not write, and that she +was subject to fits of insanity. There was then presumptive +evidence that she wrote a good deal, and there is now +positive evidence that she could write. She used often, +in the presence of Mrs. L., to take the Bible and other +books and read them, and would often say she thought the +Protestants had a better religion than the Catholics, +and were a better people. Afterwards she told Mrs. L. +that she had doubts about the Catholic religion, and was +inclined toward the Protestant: but now she is sure, +quite sure, that the Catholic alone is the right one, +FOR IT WAS REVEALED TO HER. + +On the evening of the 23d of December, 1851, Eliza and +Catharine were missing;--but I will give you Catharine's +affidavit about their business from home. + +"City of Troy, S. W. + +"I, Catharine Dillon, say, that on Tuesday, 23d December +inst, about five o'clock in the afternoon, I went with +Eliza Mead to see the priest, Mr. McDonnel, who was at +home. Eliza remained there till about six o'clock P. M. +At that time I returned home, leaving her at the priest's. +At half past eight o'clock the same evening I returned +to the priest's house for Eliza, and waited there for +her till about ten o'clock of the same evening, expecting +that Eliza's conference with the priest would be ended, +and that she would come home with me. + +"During the evening there had been another besides Mr. +McDonnel there. About ten o'clock this other priest +retired, as I understood. Soon after this Mr. McDonnel +called me, with others, into the room where Eliza was, +when he said that she (Eliza) was POSSESSED OF THE DEVIL +Mr. McDonnel then commenced interrogating the devil, +asking the devil if he possessed her. The answer was, +"Yes." The priest then asked, "How long?" and the answer +was, "Six months and nine days." The priest then asked, +"Who sent you into her?" The answer was, "Mr. Lockwood." +The next question was, "When?" "When she was asleep," +was the answer. He then asked the devil if Mr. Lockwood +had ever tempted Catharine, meaning me, and the reply +was, "Yes." Then the question was, "How many times?" And +the answer was, "Three times, by offering her drink when +she was asleep?" + +"I came home about five o'clock in the morning, greatly +shocked at what I had seen and heard, and impressed with +the belief that Eliza was possessed with the devil. I +went again to the priest's on Wednesday to find Eliza, +when the priest told me that he, Mr. McDonnel, exorcised +the devil at high mass that morning in the church, and +drove the devil out of Eliza. That he, the devil, came +out of Eliza, and spat at the Holy Cross of Jesus Christ, +and departed. He then told me that, as Eliza got the +devil from Mr. Lockwood, in the house where I lived, I +must leave the house immediately, and made me promise +him that I would. During the appalling scenes of Tuesday +night, Mr. McDonnel went to the other priest and called +him up, but the other priest did not come to his assistance. +These answers to the priest when he was asking questions +of the devil, were given in a very loud voice and sometimes +with a loud scream." + +"CATHARINE DILLON." + +"Subscribed and sworn to, this 31st day of December, +1851, before me, JOB S. OLIN, Recorder of Troy, New York." +[A copy.] + +At the interview between Mr. J. W. Lockwood and the Rev. +Mr. McDonnel, officiating priest at St. Peter's church, +there were present Hon. James M. Warren, T. W. Blatchford, +M. D., and C. N. Lockwood, on the part of Mr. Lockwood, +and Father Kenny and Mr. Davis on the part of the Rev. +Mr. McDonnel, on the evening of the 31st December, 1851. + +Mr. McDonnel at first declined answering any questions, +questioning Mr. Lockwood's right to ask them: He would +only say that Eliza Mead came to his house possessed, as +she thought, with an evil spirit; that at first he declined +having anything to do with her, first, because he believed +her to be crazy; second, because he was at that moment +otherwise engaged; and thirdly, because she was not in +his parish; but, by her urgent appeals in the name of +God to pray over her, he was at last induced to admit +her. He became satisfied that she was possessed of the +devil, or an evil spirit, by saying the appointed prayers +of the church over her; for the spirit manifested uneasiness +when this was done; and furthermore, as she was entering +the church the following morning, she was thrown into +convulsions by Father Kenny's making the sign of the +cross behind her back. At high mass in the morning he +exorcised the devil, and he left her, spitting at the +cross of Christ before taking his final departure. + +As to Mr. McDonnel's repeatedly telling Catharine that +she must leave Mr. L's house immediately, for if she +remained there Mr. L. would put the devil in her, Mr. +McDonnel denied saying or doing anything whatever that +was detrimental to the character of Mr. L. or any of his +family. Mr. McDonnel repeatedly refused to answer the +questions put to him by Mr. L. He considered it insulting +that Mr. L. should visit his house on such business, as +no power on earth but that of the POPE had authority to +question him on such matters. But being reminded that +slanderous reports had emanated from that very house +against Mr. L. he, Mr. McDonnel, said it was all to see +what kind of a man he was that brought Mr. L. there, and +if reports were exaggerated, it was nothing to him. + +Mr. McDonnel said that he cleared the church before +casting out the devil, and there was but one person +besides himself there. That, every word spoken in the +church was in Latin, and nobody in the church understood +a word of it. That he had heard threats made by Mr. L., +also that Mr. L. had said the pretended answers of the +devil ware made through the medium of ventriloquism. +Father Kenny, in the progress of the interview, made two +or three attempts to speak, but was prevented by Mr. +McDonnel. + +Thus ends the report written down by Mr. L.'s brother, +who was present, immediately after the interview. It was +all Latin in the church, we see; but the low Irish will +not believe that the devil could understand Latin. However, +it was not all Latin at the priest's house, where Catharine +Dillon heard what she declared on oath. How slow the +priest was to admit her (Eliza Mead) in the beginning, +and to believe that she had his sable majesty in her, +until it manifested uneasiness under the cannonade of +church prayers! + +"But you will ask, how could an educated priest, or an +intelligent woman, condescend to such diabolical +impositions? I think it is something after the way that +a man gets to be a drunkard; he may not like the taste +thereof at first, but afterwards he will smack his lips +and say, 'there is nothing like whiskey,' and as their +food becomes part of their bodily substance, so are these +'lying wonders' converted into their spiritual substance. +So I think; I am, however, but a very humble philosopher, +and therefore I will use the diction of the Holy Spirit +on the matter: 'For this cause God shall send them strong +delusions, that they should believe a lie,' EVEN OF THEIR +OWN MAKING, OR WHAT MAY EASILY BE SEEN TO BE LIES OF +OTHER'S GETTING, "that they all might be damned who +believed not the truth, but had pleasure in +unrighteousness.'" + +"JOHN MURPHEY." + +ALBANY, June 2nd, 1852. + + +It was said by one "that the first temptation on reading +such monstrosities as the above, is to utter a laugh of +derision." But it is with no such feeling that we place +them before our readers. Rather would we exclaim with +the inspired penman, "O that my head were waters and mine +eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night" +for the deluded followers of these willfully blind leaders! +Surely, no pleasure can be found in reading or recording +scenes which a pure mind can regard only with pity and +disgust. Yet we desire to prove to our readers that the +absurd threats and foolish attempts to impose upon the +weak and ignorant recorded by Sarah J. Richardson are +perfectly consistent with the general character and +conduct of the Romish priests. Read for instance, the +following ridiculous story translated from Le Semeur +Canadien for October 12th, 1855. + +A NEW MEANS OF CONVERSION. + +In the district of Montreal lived a Canadian widow of +French extraction who had become a Protestant. Madam V--, +such was the name of this lady, lived with her daughter, +the sole fruit of a union too soon dissolved by unsparing +death. Their life, full of good works, dispelled prejudices +that the inhabitants of the vicinity--all intolerant +Catholics--had always entertained against evangelical +Christians; they gained their respect, moreover, by +presenting them the example of every virtue. Two of the +neighbors of the Protestant widow--who had often heard +at her house the word of God read and commented upon by +one of those ministers who visit the scattered members +of their communion--talked lately of embracing the reformed +religion. In the mean while, Miss V-- died. The young +Christian rested her hope upon the promises of the Saviour +who has said, "Believe in Christ and thou shall be saved." + +Her spirit flew to its Creator with the confidence of an +infant who throws himself into the arms of his father. +Her last moments were not tormented by the fear of +purgatory, where every Catholic believes he will suffer +for a longer or shorter time. This death strengthened +the neighbors in the resolution they had taken to leave +the Catholic church. The widow buried the remains of her +daughter upon her own land, a short distance from her +house: the nearest Protestant cemetery was so far off +that she was forced to give up burying it there. + +Some Catholic fanatics of the vicinity assembled secretly +the day after the funeral of Miss V-- to discuss the best +means for arresting the progress that the reformed religion +was making in the parish. After long deliberation they +resolved to hire a poor man to go every evening for a +whole week and groan near the grave of Miss V---. Their +object was to make the widow and neighbors believe that +the young girl was damned; and that God permitted her to +show her great unhappiness by lamentations, so that they +might avoid her fate by remaining faithful to the belief +of their fathers. In any other country than Lower Canada, +those who might have employed such means would not perhaps +have had an opportunity of seeing their enterprise crowned +with success; but in our country districts, where the +people believe in ghosts and bugbears, it would almost +certainly produce the desired effect. This expedient, +instead of being ridiculous, was atrocious. The employment +of it could not fail to cause Mrs V-- to suffer the most +painful agonies, and her neighbors the torments of doubt. + +The credulity of the French-Canadian is the work of the +clergy; they invent and relate, in order to excite their +piety, the most marvellous things. For example: the +priests say that souls in purgatory desiring alleviation +come and ask masses of their relatives, either by appearing +in the same form they had in life, or by displacing the +furniture and making a noise, as long as they have not +terminated the expiation of their sins. The Catholic +clergy, by supporting these fabulous doctrines and pious +lies, lead their flock into the baleful habit of believing +things the most absurd and destitute of proof. + +The day after Miss V--'s funeral, everybody in the parish +was talking of the woeful cries which had been heard the +night before near her grave. The inhabitants of the place, +imbued with fantastic ideas that their rector had kept +alive, were dupes of the artifice employed by some of +their own number. They became convinced that there is no +safety outside of the church, of which they formed a +part. Seized with horror they determined never to pass +a night near the grave of the cursed one, as they already +called the young Protestant. Mrs. V-- by the instinctive +effect of prejudices inculcated when she was a Catholic, +was at first a prey to deadly anxiety; but recalling the +holy life of her daughter, she no longer doubted of her +being among the number of the elect. She guessed at the +cause of the noise which was heard near the grave of her +child. In order to assure herself of the justness of her +suspicions, she besought the two neighbors of whom I have +already spoken, to conceal themselves there the following +night. These persons were glad of an occasion to test +the accuracy of what a curate of their acquaintance had +told them; who had asserted that a spirit free from the +body could yet manifest itself substantially to the +living, as speaking without tongue, touching without +hands. + +They discovered the man who was paid to play the ghost; +they seized him, and in order to punish him, tied him to +a tree, at the foot of which Miss V-- was buried. The +poor creature the next morning no longer acted the soul +in torment, but shouted like a person who very much wanted +his breakfast. At noon one of his friends passed by who, +hearing him implore assistance, approached and set him +free. Overwhelmed with questions and derision, the false +ghost confessed he had acted thus only to obtain the +reward which had been promised him. You may easily guess +that the ridicule and reprobation turned upon those who +had made him their instrument. + +I will not finish this narrative without telling the +reader that the curate of the place appeared much incensed +at what his parishioners had done. I am glad to be able +to suppose that he condemns rather than encourages such +conduct. A Protestant friend of mine who does not entertain +the same respect for the Roman clergy that I do, advances +the opinion that the displeasure of the curate was not +on account of the culpable attempt of some of his flock +but on account of its failure. However, I must add, on +my reputation as a faithful narrator, that nothing has +yet happened to confirm his assertion. + +ERASTE D'ORSONNENS. + +MONTREAL, September 1855. + + + + +APPENDIX II. + +CRUELTY OF ROMANISTS. + +To show that the Romish priests have in all ages, and do +still, inflict upon their victims cruelties quite as +severe as anything described in the foregoing pages, and +that such cruelties are sanctioned by their code of laws, +we have only to turn to the authentic history of the past +and present transactions of the high functionaries of +Rome. + +About the year 1356, Nicholas Eymeric, inquisitor-general +of Arragon, collected from the civil and canon laws all +that related to the punishment of heretics, and formed +the "Directory of Inquisitors," the first and indeed the +fundamental code, which has been followed ever since, +without any essential variation. "It exhibits the practice +and theory of the Inquisition at the time of its sanction +by the approbation of Gregory 13th, in 1587, which theory, +under some necessary variations of practice, still remains +unchanged." + +From this "Directory," transcribed by the Rev. Wm. Rule +of London, in 1852, we extract a few sentences in relation +to torture. + +"Torture is inflicted on one who confesses the principal +fact, but varies as to circumstances. Also on one who is +reputed to be a heretic, but against whom there is only +one witness of the fact. In this case common rumor is +one indication of guilt, and the direct evidence is +another, making altogether but semi-plenar proof. The +torture may bring out fall proof. Also, when there is no +witness, but vehement suspicion. Also when there is no +common report of heresy, but only one witness who has +heard or seen something in him contrary to the faith. +Any two indications of heresy will justify the use of +torture. If you sentence to torture, give him a written +notice in the form prescribed; but other means be tried +first. Nor is this an infallible means for bringing out +the truth. Weak-hearted men, impatient at the first +pain, will confess crimes they never committed, and +criminate others at the same time. Bold and strong ones +will bear the most severe torments. Those who have been +on the rack before bear it with more courage, for they +know how to adapt their limbs to it, and they resist +powerfully. Others, by enchantments, seem to be insensible, +and would rather die than confess. These wretches user +for incantations, certain passages from the Psalms of +David, or other parts of Scripture, which they write on +virgin parchment in an extravagant way, mixing them with +names of unknown angels, with circles and strange letters, +which they wear upon their person. 'I know not,' says +Pena, 'how this witchcraft can be remedied, but it will +be well to strip the criminals naked, and search them +narrowly, before laying them upon the rack.' While the +tormentor is getting ready, let the inquisitor and other +grave men make fresh attempts to obtain a confession of +the truth. Let the tormentors TERRIFY HIM BY ALL MEANS, +TO FRIGHTEN HIM INTO CONFESSION. And after he is stripped, +let the inquisitor take him aside, and make a last effort. +When this has failed, let him be put to the question by +torture, beginning with interrogation on lesser points, +and advancing to greater. If he stands out, let them +show him other instruments of torture, and threaten that +he shall suffer them also. If he will not confess; the +torture may be continued on the second or third day; but +as it is not to be repeated, those successive applications +must be called CONTINUATION. And if, after all, he does +not confess, he may be set at liberty." + +Rules are laid down for the punishment of those who do +confess. Innocent IV. commanded the secular judges to +put heretics to torture; but that gave occasion to +scandalous publicity, and now inquisitors are empowered +to do it, and, in case of irregularity (THAT IS, IF THE +PERSON DIES IN THEIR HANDS), TO ABSOLVE EACH OTHER. And +although nobles were exempt from torture, and in some +kingdoms, as Arragon, it was not used in civil tribunals, +the inquisitors were nevertheless authorized to torture, +without restriction, persons of all classes. + +And here we digress from Eymeric and Pena, in order to +describe, from additional authority, of what this torture +consisted, and probably, still consists, in Italy. Limborch +collects this information from Juan de Rojas, inquisitor +at Valencia. + +"There were five degrees of torment as some counted +(Eymeric included), or according to others, three. First, +there was terror, including the threatenings of the +inquisitor, leading to the place of torture, stripping, +and binding; the stripping of their clothing, both men +and women, with the substitution of a single tight garment, +to cover part of the person--being an outrage of every +feeling of decency--and the binding, often as distressing +as the torture itself. Secondly came the stretching on +the rack, and questions attendant. Thirdly a more severe +shock, by the tension and sodden relaxation of the cord, +which is sometimes given once, but often twice, thrice, +or yet more frequently." + +"Isaac Orobio, a Jewish physician, related to Limborch +the manner in which he had himself been tortured, when +thrown into the inquisition at Seville, on the delation +of a Moorish servant, whom he had punished for theft, +and of another person similarly offended. + +"After having been in the prison of the inquisition for +full three years, examined a few times, but constantly +refusing to confess the things laid to his charge, he +was at length brought out of the cell, and led through +tortuous passages to the place of torment. It was near +evening. He found himself in a subterranean chamber, +rather spacious, arched over, and hung with black cloth. +The whole conclave was lighted by candles in sconces on +the walls. At one end there was a separate chamber, +wherein were an inquisitor and his notary seated at a +table. The place, gloomy, intent, and everywhere terrible, +seemed to be the very home of death. Hither he was brought, +and the inquisitor again exhorted him to tell the truth +before the torture should begin. On his answering that +he had already told the truth, the inquisitor gravely +protested that he was bringing himself to the torture by +his own obstinacy; and that if he should suffer loss of +blood, or even expire, during the question, the holy +office would be blameless. Having thus spoken, the +inquisitor left him in the hands of the tormentors, who +stripped him, and compressed his body so tightly in a +pair of linen drawers, that he could no longer draw +breath, and must have died, had they not suddenly relaxed +the pressure; but with recovered breathing came pain +unutterably exquisite. The anguish being past, they +repeated a monition to confess the truth, before the +torture, as they said, should begin; and the same was +afterwards repeated at each interval. + +"As Orobio persisted in denial, they bound his thumbs so +tightly with small cords that the blood burst from under +the nails, and they were swelled excessively. Then they +made him stand against the wall on a small stool, passed +cords around various parts of his body, but principally +around the arms and legs, and carried them over iron +pulleys in the ceiling. The tormentor then pulled the +cords with all his strength, applying his feet to the +wall, and giving the weight of his body to increase the +purchase. With these ligatures his arms and legs, fingers +and toes, were so wrung and swollen that he felt as if +fire were devouring them. In the midst of this torment +the man kicked down the stool which had supported his +feet, so that he hung upon the cords with his whole +weight, which suddenly increased their tension, and gave +indescribable aggravation to his pain. Next followed a +new kind of torment. An instrument resembling a small +ladder, consisting of two parallel pieces of wood, and +five transverse pieces, with the anterior edges sharpened, +was placed before him, so that when the tormentor struck +it heavily, he received the stroke five times multiplied +on each shin bone, producing pain that was absolutely +intolerable, and under which he fainted. Bat no sooner +was be revived than they inflicted a new torture. The +tormentor tied other cords around his wrists, and having +his own shoulders covered with leather, that they might +not be chafed, passed round them the rope which was to +draw the cords, set his feet against the wall, threw +himself back with all his force, and the cords cut through +to the bones. This he did thrice, each time changing +the position of the cords, leaving a small distance +between the successive wounds; but it happened that in +pulling the second time they slipped into the first +wounds, and caused such a gush of blood that Orobio +seemed to be bleeding to death. + +"A physician and surgeon, who were in waiting as usual, +to give their opinion as to the safety or danger of +continuing those operations, that the inquisitors might +not commit an irregularity by murdering the patient, were +called in. Being friends of the sufferer, they gave their +opinion that he had strength enough remaining to bear +more. By this means they saved him from a SUSPENSION of +the torture, which would have been followed by a repetition, +on his recovery, under the pretext of CONTINUATION. The +cords were therefore pulled a third time, and this ended +the torture. He was dressed in his own clothes, carried +back to prison, and, after about seventy days, when the +wounds were healed, condemned as one SUSPECTED of Judaism. +They could not say CONVICTED, because he had not confessed; +but they sentenced him to wear the sambenito [Footnote: +This sambenito (Suco bendito or blessed sack,) is a +garment (or kind of scapulary according to some writers,) +worn by penitents of the least criminal class in the +procession of an Auto de Fe, (a solemn ceremony held by +the Inquisition for the punishment of heretics,) but +sometimes worn as a punishment at other times, that the +condemned one might be marked by his neighbors, and ever +bear a signal that would affright and scare by the +greatness of the punishment and disgrace; a plan, salutary +it may be, but very grievous to the offender. It was made +of yellow cloth, with a St. Andrew's cross upon it, of +red. A rope was sometimes put around the neck as an +additional mark of infamy. + +Those who were condemned to be burnt were distinguished +by a habit of the same form, called Zamarra, but instead +of the red cross were painted flames and devils, and +sometimes an ugly portrait of the heretic himself,--a +head, with flames under it. Those who had been sentenced +to the stake, but indulged with commutation of the penalty, +had inverted flames painted on the livery, and this was +called fuego revuelto, "inverted fire." + +Upon the head of the condemned was also placed a conical +paper cap, about three feet high, slightly resembling a +mitre, called corona or crown. This was painted with +flames and devils in like manner with the dress.] or +penitential habit for two years, and then be banished +for life from Seville." + + + + +APPENDIX III. + +INQUISITION OF GOA--IMPRISONMENT OF M. DELLON, 1673. + +"M. Dellon a French traveller, spending some time at +Damaun, on the north-western coast of Hindostan, incurred +the jealousy of the governor and a black priest, in regard +to a lady, as he is pleased to call her, whom they both +admired. He had expressed himself rather freely concerning +some of the grosser superstitions of Romanism, and thus +afforded the priest, who was also secretary of the +Inquisition, an occasion of proceeding against him as a +heretic. The priest and the governor united in a +representation to the chief inquisitor at Goa, which +procured an order for his arrest. Like all other persons +whom it pleased the inquisitors or their servants to +arrest, in any part of the Portuguese dominions beyond +the Cape of Good Hope, he was thrown into prison with a +promiscuous crowd of delinquents, the place and treatment +being of the worst kind, even according to the colonial +barbarism of the seventeenth century. To describe his +sufferings there, is not to our purpose, inasmuch as all +prisoners fared alike, many of them perishing from +starvation and disease. Many offenders against the +Inquisition were there at the same time,--some accused +of Judaism, others, of Paganism--in which sorcery and +witchcraft were included--and others of immorality. In +a field so wide and so fruitful, the "scrutators" of the +faith could not fail to gather abundantly. After an +incarceration of at least four months, he and his +fellow-sufferers were shipped off for the ecclesiastical +metropolis of India, all of them being in irons. The +vessel put into Bacaim, and the prisoners were transferred, +for some days, to the prison of that town, where a large +number of persons were kept in custody, under charge of +the commissary of the holy office, until a vessel should +arrive to carry them to Goa. + +"In due time they were again at sea, and a fair wind +wafted their fleet into that port after a voyage of seven +days. Until they could be deposited in the cells of the +Inquisition with the accustomed formalities, the Archbishop +of Goa threw open HIS prison for their reception, which +prison, being ecclesiastical, may be deemed worthy of +description. + +"The most filthy," says Dellon, "the most dark, and the +most horrible that I ever saw; and I doubt whether a more +shocking and horrible prison can be found anywhere. It +is a kind of cave wherein there is no day seen but by a +very little hole; the most subtle rays of the sun cannot +enter into it, and there is never any true light in it. +The stench is extreme. * * * + +"On the 16th of January 1674, at eight o'clock in the +morning, an officer came with orders to take the prisoners +to "the holy house." With considerable difficulty M. +Dellon dragged his iron-loaded limbs thither. They helped +him to ascend the stairs at the great entrance, and in +the hall, smiths were waiting to take off the irons from +all the prisoners. One by one, they were summoned to +audience. Dellon, who was called the first, crossed the +hall, passed through an ante-chamber, and entered a room, +called by the Portuguese "board of the holy office," +where the grand inquisitor of the Indies sat at one end +of a very large table, on an elevated floor in the middle +of the chamber. He was a secular priest about forty years +of age, in full vigor--a man who could do his work with +energy. At one end of the room was a large crucifix, +reaching from the floor almost to the ceiling, and near +it, sat a notary on a folding stool. At the opposite end, +and near the inquisitor, Dellon was placed, and, hoping +to soften his judge, fell on his knees before him. But +the inquisitor commanded him to rise, asked whether he +knew the reason of his arrest, and advised him to declare +it at large, as that was the only way to obtain a speedy +release. Dellon caught at the hope of release, began to +tell his tale, mixed with tears and protestations, again +fell at the feet of Don Francisco Delgado Ematos, the +inquisitor, and implored his favorable attention. Don +Francisco told him, very coolly, that he had other business +on hand, and, nothing moved, rang a silver bell. The +alcayde entered, led the prisoner out into a gallery, +opened, and searched his trunk, stripped him of every +valuable, wrote an inventory, assured him that all should +be safely kept, and then led him to a cell about ten feet +square, and left him there, shut up in utter solitude. +In the evening they brought him his first meal, which he +ate heartily, and slept a little during the night following. +Next morning he learnt that he could have no part of his +property, not even a breviary was, in that place, allowed +to a priest, for they had no form of religion there, and +for that reason he could not have a book. His hair was +cropped close; and therefore "he did not need a comb." + +"Thus began his acquaintance with the holy house, which +he describes as "great and magnificent," on one side of +the great space before the church of St Catharine. There +were three gates in front; and, it was by the central, +or largest, that the prisoners entered, and mounted a +stately flight of steps, leading into the great hall. +The side gates provided entrance to spacious ranges of +apartments, belonging to the inquisitors. Behind the +principal building, was another, very spacious, two +stories high, and consisting of double rows of cells, +opening into galleries that ran from end to end. The +cells on the ground-floor were very small, without any +aperture from without for light or air. Those of the +upper story were vaulted, white-washed, had a small +strongly grated window, without glass, and higher than +the tallest man could reach. Towards the gallery every +cell was shut with two doors, one on the inside, the +other one outside of the wall. The inner door folded, +was grated at the bottom, opened towards the top for the +admission of food and was made fast with very strong +bolts. The outer door was not so thick, had no window, +but was left open from six o'clock every morning until +eleven--a necessary arrangement in that climate, unless +it were intended to destroy life by suffocation. + +"To each prisoner was given as earthen pot with water +wherewith to wash, another full of water to drink, with +a cup; a broom, a mat whereon to lie, and a large basin +with a cover, changed every fourth day. The prisoners +had three meals a day; and their health so far as food +could contribute to it in such a place, was cared for in +the provision of a wholesome, but spare diet. Physicians +were at hand to render all necessary assistance to the +sick, as were confessors, ready to wait upon the dying; +but they gave no viaticum, performed no unction, said no +mass. The place was under an impenetrable interdict. If +any died, and that many did die is beyond question, his +death was unknown to all without; he was buried within +the walls without any sacred ceremony; and if, after +death, he was found to have died in heresy, his bones +were taken up at the next Auto, to be burned. Unless +there happened to be an unusual number of prisoners, each +one was alone in his own cell. He might not speak, nor +groan, nor sob aloud, nor sigh. [Footnote: Limborch +relates that on one occasion, a poor prisoner was heard +to cough; the jailer of the Inquisition instantly repaired +to him, and warned him to forbear, as the slightest noise +was not tolerated in that house. The poor man replied +that it was not in his power to forbear; a second time +they admonished him to desist; and when again, unable to +do otherwise, he repeated the offence, they stripped him +naked, and cruelly beat him. This increased his cough, +for which they beat him so often, that at last he died +through pain and anguish of the stripes he had received.] +His breathing might be audible when the guard listened +at the grating, but nothing more. Four guards were +stationed in each long gallery, open, indeed, at each +end, but awfully silent, as if it were the passage of a +catacomb. If, however, he wanted anything, he might tap +at the inner door, when a jailer would come to hear the +request, and would report to the alcayde, but was not +permitted to answer. If one of the victims, in despair, +or pain, or delirium, attempted to pronounce a prayer, +even to God, or dared to utter a cry, the jailers would +run to the cell, rush in, and beat him cruelly, for terror +to the rest. Once in two months the inquisitor, with a +secretary and an interpreter, visited the prisons, and +asked each prisoner if he wanted anything, if his meat +was regularly brought, and if he had any complaint against +the jailers. His want after all lay at the mercy of the +merciless. His complaint, if uttered, would bring down +vengeance, rather than gain redress. But in this visitation +the holy office professed mercy with much formality, and +the inquisitorial secretary collected notes which aided +in the crimination, or in the murder of their victims. + +"The officers of Goa were;--the inquisidor mor or grand +inquisitor, who was always a secular priest; the second +inquisitor, Dominican friar; several deputies, who came, +when called for, to assist the inquisitors at trials, +but never entered without such a summons; qualifiers, as +usual, to examine books and writings, but never to witness +an examination of the living, or be present at any act +of the kind; a fiscal; a procurator; advocates, so called, +for the accused; notaries and familiars. The authority +of this tribunal was absolute in Goa. There does not +appear to have been anything peculiar in the manner of +examining and torturing at Goa where the practice coincided +with that of Portugal and Spain. + +"The personal narrative of Dellon affords a distinct +exemplification of the sufferings of the prisoners. He +had been told that, when he desired an audience, he had +only to call a jailer, and ask it, when it would be +allowed him. But, notwithstanding many tears and entreaties, +he could not obtain one until fifteen days had passed +away. Then came the alcayde and one of his guards. This +alcayde walked first out of the cell; Dellon uncovered +and shorn, and with legs and feet bare, followed him; +the guard walked behind. The alcayde just entered the +place of audience, made a profound reverence, stepped +back and allowed his charge to enter. The door closed, +and Dellon remained alone with the inquisitor and secretary. +He knelt; but Don Fernando sternly bade him to sit on a +bench, placed there for the use of the culprits. Near +him, on a table, lay a missal, on which they made him +lay his hand, and swear to keep secrecy, and tell them +the truth. They asked if he knew the cause of his +imprisonment, and whether he was resolved to confess it. +He told them all he could recollect of unguarded sayings +at Damaun, either in argument or conversation, without +ever, that he knew, contradicting, directly or indirectly, +any article of faith. He had, at some time dropped an +offensive word concerning the Inquisition, but so light +a word, that it did not occur to his remembrance. Don +Fernando told him he had done well in ACCUSING HIMSELF +so willingly, and exhorted him in the name of Jesus +Christ, to complete his self accusation fully, to the +end that he might experience the goodness and mercy which +were used in that tribunal towards those who showed true +repentance by a sincere and UNFORCED confession. The +secretary read aloud the confession and exhortation, +Dellon signed it, Don Fernando rang a silver bell, the +alcayde walked in, and, in a few moments, the disappointed +victim was again in his dungeon. + +"At the end of another fortnight, and without having +asked for it, he was again taken to audience. After a +repetition of the former questions, he was asked his +name, surname, baptism, confirmation, place of abode, in +what parish? in what diocess? under what bishop? They +made him kneel, and make the sign of the cross, repeat +the Pater Noster, Hail Mary, creed, commandments of God, +commandments of the church, and Salve Begins. He did it +all very cleverly, and even to their satisfaction; but +the grand inquisitor exhorted him, by the tender mercies +of our Lord Jesus Christ, to confess without delay, and +sent him to the cell again. His heart sickened. They +required him to do what was impossible--to confess more, +after he had acknowledged ALL. In despair, he tried to +starve himself to death; 'but they compelled him to take +food.' Day and night he wept, and at length betook himself +to prayer, imploring pity of the 'blessed Virgin,' whom +he imagined to be, of all beings, the most merciful, and +the most ready to give him help. + +"At the end of a month, he succeeded in obtaining another +audience, and added to his former confessions what he +had remembered, for the first time, touching the +Inquisition. But they told him that that was not what +they wanted, and sent him back again. This was intolerable. +In a frenzy of despair he determined to commit suicide, +if possible. Feigning sickness, be obtained a physician +who treated him for a fever, and ordered him to be bled. +Never calmed by any treatment of the physician, +blood-letting was repeated often, and each time he untied +the bandage, when left alone, hoping to die from loss of +blood, but death fled from him. A humane Franciscan came +to confess him, and, hearing his tale of misery, gave +him kind words, asked permission to divulge his attempt +at self-destruction to the inquisitor, procured him a +mitigation of solitude by the presence of a fellow-prisoner, +a negro, accused of magic; but, after five months, the +negro was removed, and his mind, broken with suffering, +could no longer bear up under the aggravated load. By +an effort of desperate ingenuity he almost succeeded in +committing suicide, and a jailer found him weltering in +his blood and insensible. Having restored him by cordials, +and bound up his wounds, they carried him into the presence +of the inquisitor once more; where he lay on the floor, +being unable to sit, heard bitter reproaches, had his +limbs confined in irons, and was thus carried back to a +punishment that seemed more terrible than death. In +fetters he became so furious, that they found it necessary +to take them off, and, from that time, his examinations +assumed another character, as he defended his positions +with citations from the Council of Trent, and with some +passages of scripture, which he explained in the most +Romish sense, discovering a depth of ignorance in Don +Fernando that was truly surprising. That 'grand Inquisitor,' +had never heard the passage which Dellon quoted to prove +the doctrine of baptismal regeneration, 'Except a man be +born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into +the kingdom of God.' Neither did he know anything of that +famous passage in the twenty-fifth session of the Council +of Trent, which declares that images are only to be +reverenced on account of the persons whom they represent. +He called for a Bible, and for the acts of the council, +and was evidently surprised when he found them where +Dellon told him they might be seen. + +"The time for a general auto drew near. During the months +of November and December, 1675, he heard every morning +the cries of persons under torture, and afterwards saw +many of them, both men and women, lame and distorted by +the rack. On Sunday January 11th, 1676, he was surprised +by the jailer refusing to receive his linen to be +washed--Sunday being washing-day in the 'holy house.' +While perplexing himself to think what that could mean, +the cathedral bells rang for vespers, and then, contrary +to custom, rang again for matins. He could only account +for that second novelty by supposing that an auto would +be celebrated the next day. They brought him supper, +which he refused, and, contrary to their wont at all +other times, they did not insist on his taking it, but +carried it away. Assured that those were all portents of +the horrible catastrophe, and reflecting on often-repeated +threats in the audience chamber that he should be burnt, +he gave himself up to death, and overwhelmed with sorrow, +fell asleep a little before midnight. + +"Scarcely had he fallen asleep when the alcayde and guards +entered the cell, with great noise, bringing a lamp, for +the first time since his imprisonment that they had +allowed a lamp to shine there. The alcayde, laying down +a suit of clothes, bade him put them on, and be ready to +go out when he came again. At two o'clock in the morning +they returned, and he issued from the cell, clad in a +black vest and trowsers, striped with white, and his feet +bare. About two hundred prisoners, of whom he was one, +were made to sit on the floor, along the sides of a +spacious gallery, all in the same black livery, and just +visible by the gleaming of a few lamps. A large company +of women were also ranged in a neighboring gallery in +like manner. But they were all motionless, and no one +knew his doom. Every eye was fixed, and each one seemed +benumbed with misery. + +"A third company Dellon perceived in a room not far +distant, but they were walking about, and some appeared +to have long habits. Those were persons condemned to be +delivered to the secular arm, and the long habits +distinguished confessors busily collecting confessions +in order to commute that penalty for some other scarcely +less dreadful. At four o'clock, servants of the house +came, with guards, and gave bread and figs to those who +would accept the refreshment. One of the guards gave +Dellon some hope of life by advising him to take what +was offered, which he had refused to do. 'Take your +bread,' said the man, 'and if you cannot eat it now, put +it in your pocket; you will be certainly hungry before +you return.' This gave hope, that he should not end the +day at the stake, but come back to undergo penance. + +"A little before sunrise, the great bell of the cathedral +tolled, and its sound soon aroused the city of Goa. The +people ran into the streets, lining the chief thoroughfares, +and crowding every place whence a view could be had of +the procession. Day broke, and Dellon saw the faces of +his fellow-prisoners, most of whom were Indians. He could +only distinguish, by their complexion, about twelve +Europeans. Every countenance exhibited shame, fear, grief, +or an appalling blackness of apathy, AS IF DIRE SUFFERING +IN THE LIGHTLESS DUNGEONS UNDERNEATH HAD BEREFT THEM OF +INTELLECT. The company soon began to move, but slowly, +as one by one the alcayde led them towards the door of +the great hall, where the grand inquisitor sat, and his +secretary called the name of each as he came, and the +name of a sponsor, who also presented himself from among +a crowd of the bettermost inhabitants of Goa, assembled +there for that service. 'The general of the Portuguese +ships in the Indies' had the honor of placing himself +beside our Frenchman. As soon as the procession was +formed, it marched off in the usual order. + +"First, the Dominicans, honored with everlasting precedence +on all such occasions, led the way. Singing-boys also +preceded, chanting a litany. The banner of the Inquisition +was intrusted to their hands. After the banner walked +the penitents--a penitent and a sponsor, two and two. A +cross bearer brought up the train, carrying a crucifix +aloft, turned towards them, in token of pity; and, on +looking along the line, you might have seen another priest +going before the penitents with a crucifix turned backwards, +inviting their devotions. They to whom the Inquisition +no longer afforded mercy, walked behind the penitents, +and could only see an averted crucifix. These were +condemned to be burnt alive at the stake! On this occasion +there were but two of this class, but sometimes a large +number were sentenced to this horrible death, and presented +to the spectator a most pitiable spectacle. Many of them +bore upon their persons the marks of starvation, torture, +terror, and heart-rending grief. Some faces were bathed +in tears, while others came forth with a smile of conquest +on the countenance and words of triumphant faith bursting +from the lips. These, however, were known as dogmatizers, +and were generally gagged, the month being filled with +a piece of wood kept in by a strong leather band fastened +behind the head, and the arms tied together behind the +back. Two armed familiars walked or rode beside each of +these, and two ecclesiastics, or some other clerks or +regulars, also attended. After these, the images of +heretics who had escaped were carried aloft, to be thrown +into the flames; and porters came last, tagging under +the weight of boxes containing the disinterred bodies on +which the execution of the church had fallen, and which +were also to be burnt. + +"Poor Dellon went barefoot, like the rest, through the +streets of Goa, rough with little flint stones scattered +about, and sorely were his feet wounded during an hour's +march up and down the principal streets. Weary, covered +with shame and confusion, the long train of culprits +entered the church of St. Francis, where preparation was +made for the auto, the climate of India not permitting +a celebration of that solemnity under the burning sky. +They sat with their sponsors, in the galleries prepared, +sambenitos, grey zamarras with painted flames and devils, +corozas, tapers, and all the other paraphernalia of an +auto, made up a woeful spectacle. The inquisitor and +other personages having taken their seats of state, the +provincial of the Augustinians mounted the pulpit and +delivered the sermon. Dellon preserved but one note of +it. The preacher compared the Inquisition to Noah's ark, +which received all sorts of beasts WILD, but sent them +out TAME. The appearance of hundreds who had been inmates +of that ark certainly justified the figure. + +"After the sermon, two readers went up, one after the +other, into the same pulpit, and, between them, they read +the processes and pronounced the sentences, the person +standing before them, with the alcayde, and holding a +lighted taper in his hand. Dellon, in turn, heard the +cause of his long-suffering. He had maintained the +invalidity of baptismus flaminis, or desire to be baptised, +when there is no one to administer the rite of baptism +by water. He had said that images ought not to be adored, +and that an ivory crucifix was a piece of ivory. He had +spoken contemptuously of the Inquisition. And, above all, +he had an ill intention. His punishment was to be +confiscation of his property, banishment from India, and +five years' service in the galleys in Portugal, with +penance, as the inquisitors might enjoin. As all the +prisoners were excommunicate, the inquisitor, after the +sentence had been pronounced, put on his alb and stole, +walked into the middle of the church, and absolved them +all at once. Dellon's sponsor, who would not even answer +him before, when he spoke, now embraced him, called him +brother, and gave him a pinch of snuff, in token of +reconciliation. + +"But there were two persons, a man and a woman, for whom +the church had no more that they could do; and these, +with four dead bodies, and the effigies of the dead, were +taken to be burnt on the Campo Santo Lazaro, on the river +side, the place appointed for that purpose, that the +viceroy might see justice done on the heretics, as he +surveyed the execution from his palace-windows." + +The remainder of Dellon's history adds nothing to what +we have already heard of the Inquisition. He was taken +to Lisbon, and, after working in a gang of convicts for +some time, was released on the intercession of some +friends in France with the Portuguese government. With +regard to his despair, and attempts to commit suicide, +when in the holy house, we may observe that, as he states, +suicide was very frequent there. The contrast of his +disconsolate impatience with the resignation and constancy +of Christian confessors in similar circumstances, is +obvious. As a striking illustration of the difference +between those who suffer without a consciousness of divine +favor, and those who rejoice with joy unspeakable and +full of glory, we would refer the reader to that noble +band of martyrs who suffered death at the stake, at the +Auto held in Seville, on Sunday, September 24, 1559. At +that time twenty-one were burnt, followed by one effigy, +and eighteen penitents, who were released. + +"One of the former was Don Juan Gonzales, Presbyter of +Seville, an eminent preacher. With admirable constancy +he refused to make any declaration, in spite of the severe +torture, saying that he had not followed any erroneous +opinions, but that he had drawn his faith from the holy +Scriptures; and for this faith he pleaded to his tormentors +in the words of inspiration. He maintained that he was +not a heretic, but a Christian, and absolutely refused +to divulge anything that would bring his brethren into +trouble. Two sisters of his were also brought out to this +Auto, and displayed equal faith. They would confess +Christ, they said, and suffer with their brother, whom +they revered as a wise and holy man. They were all tied +to stakes on the quemadero, a piece of pavement, without +the walls of the city, devoted to the single use of +burning human victims. Sometimes this quemadero [Footnote: +Llorente, the historian of the Spanish Inquisition, says, +"So many persons were to be put to death by fire, the +governor of Seville caused a permanent raised platform +of masonry to be constructed outside the city, which has +lasted to our time (until the French revolution) retaining +its name of Quemadero, or burning-place, and at the four +corners four large hollow stalutes of limestone, within +which they used to place the impenitent alive, that they +might die by slow fires."] was a raised platform of stone, +adorned with pillows or surrounded with statues, to +distinguish and beautify the spot. Just as the fire was +lit, the gag, which had hitherto silenced Don Juan, was +removed, and as the flames burst from the fagots, he said +to his sisters, 'Let us sing, Deus laudem meam ne tacueris.' +And they sang together, while burning, 'Hold not thy +peace, O God of my praise; for the mouth of the wicked +and the mouth of the deceitful are opened against me: +they have spoken against me with a lying tongue.' Thus +they died in the faith of Christ, and of his holy gospel." + + + + +APPENDIX IV. + +INQUISITION OF GOA, CONCLUDED. + +The Inquisition of Goa continued its Autos for a century +after the affair of Dellon. In the summer of 1808, Dr. +Claudius Buchanan visited that city, and had been +unexpectedly invited by Joseph a Doloribus, second and +most active inquisitor, to lodge with him during his +visit. Not without some surprise, Dr. Buchanan found +himself, heretic, schismatic, and rebel as he was, politely +entertained by so dread a personage. Regarding his English +visitor merely as a literary man, or professing to do +so, Friar Joseph, himself well educated, seemed to enjoy +his company, and was unreservedly communicative on every +subject not pertaining to his own vocation. When that +subject was first introduced by an apparently incidental +question, he did not hesitate to return the desired +information, telling Dr. Buchanan that the establishment +was nearly as extensive as in former times. In the library +of the chief inquisitor he saw a register containing the +names of all the officers, who still were numerous. + +On the second evening after his arrival, the doctor was +surprised to see his host come from his apartment, clothed +in black robes from head to foot, instead of white, the +usual color of his order (Augustinian). He said that he +was going to sit on the tribunal of the holy office, and +it transpired that, so far from his "august office" not +occupying much of his time, he had to sit there three or +four days every week. After his return, in the evening, +the doctor put Dellon's book into his hand, asking him +if he had ever seen it. He had never seen it before, and, +after reading aloud and slowly, "Relation de l'Inquisition +de Goa," began to peruse it with eagerness. + +While Dr. Buchanan employed himself in writing, Friar +Joseph devoured page after page; but as the narrative +proceeded, betrayed evident symptoms of uneasiness. He +then turned to the middle, looked at the end, skimmed +over the table of contents, fixed on its principal +passages, and at one place exclaimed, in his broad Italian +accent, "Mendacium! mendacium.'" The doctor requested +him to mark the passages that were untrue, proposed to +discuss them afterwards, and said he had other books on +the subject. The mention of other books startled him; he +looked up anxiously at some books on the table, and then +gave himself up to the perusal of Dellon's "Relation," +until bedtime. Even then, he asked permission to take it +to his chamber. + +The doctor had fallen asleep under the roof of the +inquisitor's convent, confident, under God, in the +protection at that time guaranteed to a British subject, +his servants sleeping in the gallery outside the +chamber-door. About midnight, he was waked by loud +shrieks and expressions of terror from some one in the +gallery. In the first moment of surprise, he concluded +it must be the alguazils of the holy office seizing his +servants to carry them to the Inquisition. But, on going +out, he saw the servants standing at the door, and the +person who had caused the alarm, a boy of about fourteen, +at a little distance, surrounded by some of the priests, +who had come out of their cells on hearing the noise. +The boy said he had seen a spectre; and it was a +considerable time before the agitations of his body and +voice subsided. Next morning at breakfast, the inquisitor +apologized for the disturbance, and said the boy's alarm +proceeded from a phantasma animi,--phantom of the +imagination. + +It might have been so. Phantoms might well haunt such a +place. As to Dellon's book, the inquisitor acknowledged +that the descriptions were just; but complained that he +had misjudged the motives of the inquisitors, and written +uncharitably of Holy Church. Their conversation grew +earnest, and the inquisitor was anxious to impress his +visitor with the idea that the Inquisition had undergone +a change in some respects, and that its terrors were +mitigated. At length Dr. Buchanan plainly requested to +see the Inquisition, that he might judge for himself as +to the humanity shown to the inmates,--according to the +inquisitor,--and gave, as a reason why he should be +satisfied, his interest in the affairs of India, on which +he had written, and his purpose to write on them again, +in which case he could scarcely be silent concerning the +Inquisition. The countenance of his host fell; but, after +some further observations, he reluctantly promised to +comply. Next morning, after breakfast, Joseph a Doloribus +went to dress for the holy office, and soon returned in +his black robes. He said he would go half an hour before +the usual time, for the purpose of showing him the +Inquisition. The doctor fancied he looked more severe +than usual, and that his attendants were not as civil as +before. But the truth was, that the midnight scene still +haunted him. They had proceeded in their palanquins to +the holy house, distant about a quarter of a mile from +the convent, and the inquisitor said as they were ascending +the steps of the great entrance, that he hoped the doctor +would be satisfied with a transient view of the Inquisition, +and would retire when he should desire him to do so. The +doctor followed with tolerable confidence, towards the +great hall aforementioned, where they were met by several +well-dressed persons, familiars, as it afterwards appeared, +who bowed very low to the inquisitor, and looked with +surprise at the stranger. Dr. Buchanan paced the hall +slowly, and in thoughtful silence; the inquisitor thoughtful +too, silent and embarrassed. A multitude of victims seemed +to haunt the place, and the doctor could not refrain from +breaking silence. "Would not the Holy Church wish, in +her mercy, to have those souls back again, that she might +allow them a little further probation?" The inquisitor +answered nothing, but beckoned him to go with him to a +door at one end of the hall. By that door he conducted +him to some small rooms, and thence, to the spacious +apartments of the chief inquisitor. Having surveyed +those, he brought him back again to the great hall, and +seemed anxious that the troublesome visitor should depart; +but only the very words of Dr. B. can adequately describe +the close of this extraordinary interview." + +"Now, father," said I, "lead me to the dungeons below: +I want to see the captives." "No," said he, "that cannot +be." I now began to suspect that it had been in the mind +of the inquisitor, from the beginning, to show me only +a certain part of the Inquisition, in the hope of satisfying +my inquiries in a general way. I urged him with earnestness; +but he steadily resisted, and seemed offended, or, rather, +agitated, by my importunity. I intimated to him plainly, +that the only way to do justice to his own assertion and +arguments regarding the present state of the Inquisition, +was to show me the prisons and the captives. I should +then describe only what I saw; but now the subject was +left in awful obscurity. "Lead me down," said I, "to the +inner building, and let me pass through the two hundred +dungeons, ten feet square, described by your former +captives. Let me count the number of your present captives, +and converse with them. I WANT, TO SEE IF THERE BE ANY +SUBJECTS OF THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT, TO WHOM WE OWE +PROTECTION. I want to ask how long they have been there, +how long it is since they have seen the light of the sun, +and whether they ever expect to see it again. Show me +the chamber of torture, and declare what modes of execution +or punishment are now practiced inside the walls of the +Inquisition, in lieu of the public Auto de Fe. If, after +all that has passed, father, you resist this reasonable +request, I should be justified in believing that you are +afraid of exposing the real state of the Inquisition in +India." + +To these observations the inquisitor made no reply; but +seemed impatient that I should withdraw. "My good father," +said I; "I am about to take my leave of you, and to thank +you for your hospitable attentions; and I wish to preserve +on my mind a favorable sentiment of your kindness and +candor. You cannot, you say, show me the captives and +the dungeons; be pleased, then, merely to answer this +question, for I shall believe your word: how many prisoners +are there now below in the cells of the Inquisition?" He +replied, "That is a question which I cannot answer." On +his pronouncing these words, I retired hastily towards +the door, and wished him farewell. We shook hands with +as much cordiality as we could, at the moment, assume; +and both of us, I believe, were sorry that our parting +took place with a clouded countenance. + +After leaving the inquisitor, Dr. Buchanan, feeling as +if he could not refrain from endeavoring to get another +and perhaps a nearer view, returned to avail himself of +the pretext afforded by a promise from the chief inquisitor, +of a letter to one of the British residents at Travancore, +in answer to one which he had brought him from that +officer. The inquisitors he expected to find within, in +the "board of the holy office." The door-keepers surveyed +him doubtfully, but allowed him to pass. He entered the +great hall, went up directly to the lofty crucifix +described by Dellon, sat down on a form, wrote some notes, +and then desired an attendant to carry in his name to +the inquisitor. As he was walking across the hall, he +saw a poor woman sitting by the wall. She clasped her +hands, and looked at him imploringly. The sight chilled +his spirits; and as he was asking the attendants the +cause of her apprehension,--for she was awaiting +trial,--Joseph a Doloribus came, in answer to his message, +and was about to complain of the intrusion, when he +parried the complaint by asking for the letter from the +chief inquisitor. He promised to send it after him, and +conducted him to the door. As they passed the poor woman, +the doctor pointed to her, and said with emphasis, "Behold, +father, another victim of the Holy Inquisition." The +other answered nothing; they bowed, and separated without +a word. + +When Dr. Buchanan published his "Christian Researches in +Asia," in the year 1812, the Inquisition still existed +at Goa; but the establishment of constitutional government +in Portugal, put an end to it throughout the whole +Portuguese dominions. + + + + +APPENDIX V. + +INQUISITION AT MACERATA, ITALY. +NARRATIVE OF MR. BOWER. METH. MAG. THIRD VOL. + + +I never pretended that it was for the sake of religion +alone, that I left Italy, On the contrary, I have often +declared, that, had I never belonged to the Inquisition, +I should have gone on, as most Roman Catholics do, without +ever questioning the truth of the religion I was brought +up in, or thinking of any other. But the unheard of +cruelties of that hellish tribunal shocked me beyond all +expression, and rendered me,--as I was obliged, by my +office of Counsellor, to be accessary to them,--one of +the most unhappy men upon earth. I therefore began to +think of resigning my office; but as I had on several +occasions, betrayed some weakness as they termed it, that +is, some compassion and humanity, and had upon that +account been reprimanded by the Inquisitor, I was well +apprized that my resignation would be ascribed by him to +my disapproving the proceedings of the holy tribunal. +And indeed, to nothing else could it be ascribed, as a +place at that board was a sure way to preferment, and +attended with great privileges, and a considerable salary. +Being, therefore, sensible how dangerous a thing it would +be to give the least ground for any suspicions of that +nature, and no longer able to bear the sight of the many +barbarities practised almost daily within those walls, +nor the reproaches of my conscience for being accessary +to them, I determined, after many restless nights, and +much deliberation, to withdraw at the same time from the +Inquisition, and from Italy. In this mind, and in the +most unhappy and tormenting situation that can possibly +be imagined, I continued near a twelve-month, not able +to prevail on myself to execute the resolution I had +taken on account of the many dangers which I foresaw +would inevitably attend it, and the dreadful consequences +of my failing in the attempt. But, being in the mean time +ordered by the Inquisitor, to apprehend a person with +whom I had lived in the greatest intimacy and friendship, +the part I was obliged to act on that occasion, left so +deep an impression on my mind as soon prevailed over all +my fears, and made me determine to put into execution, +at all events, and without delay, the design I had formed. +Of that transaction I shall give a particular account, +as it will show in a very strong light the nature and +proceedings of that horrid court. + +The person whom the Inquisitor appointed me to apprehend +was Count Vicenzo della Torre, descended from an illustrious +family in Germany, and possessed of a very considerable +estate in the territory of Macerata. He was one of my +very particular friends, and had lately married the +daughter of Signior Constantini, of Fermo, a lady no less +famous for her good sense than her beauty. With her family +too, I had contracted an intimate acquaintance, while +Professor of Rhetoric in Fermo, and had often attended +the Count during his courtship, from Macerata to Fermo, +but fifteen miles distant. I therefore lived with both +in the greatest friendship and intimacy; and the Count +was the only person that lived with me, after I was made +Counsellor of the Inquisition, upon the same free footing +as he had done till that time. My other friends had grown +shy of me, and gave me plainly to understand that they +no longer cared for my company. + +As this unhappy young gentleman was one day walking with +another, he met two Capuchin friars, and turning to his +companion, when they had passed, "what fools," said he, +"are these, to think they shall gain heaven by wearing +sackcloth and going barefoot! Fools indeed, if they think +so, or that there is any merit in tormenting one's self; +they might as well live as we do, and they would get to +heaven quite as soon." Who informed against him, whether +the friars, his companion, or somebody else, I know not; +for the inquisitors never tell the names of informers to +the Counsellors, nor the names of the witnesses, lest +they should except against them. It is to be observed, +that all who hear any proposition that appears to them +repugnant to, or inconsistent with the doctrines of holy +mother church, are bound to reveal it to the Inquisitor, +and also to discover the person by whom it was uttered; +and, in this affair no regard is to be had to any ties, +however sacred. The brother being bound to accuse the +brother, the father the son, the son the father, the wife +her husband, and the husband his wife; and all bound on +pain of eternal damnation, and of being treated as +accomplices if they do not denounce in a certain time; +and no confessor can absolve a person who has heard +anything said in jest or in earnest, against the belief +or practice of the church, till that person has informed +the Inquisitor of it, and given him all the intelligence +he can concerning the person by whom it was spoken. + +Whoever it was that informed against my unhappy friend, +whether the friars, his companion, or somebody else who +might have overheard him, the Inquisitor acquainted the +board one night, (for to be less observed, they commonly +meet, out of Rome, in the night) that the above mentioned +propositions had been advanced, and advanced gravely, at +the sight of two poor Capuchins; that the evidence was +unexceptionable; and that they were therefore met to +determine the quality of the proposition, and proceed +against the delinquent. + +There are in each Inquisition twelve Counsellors, viz: +four Divines, four Canonists, and four Civilians. It is +chiefly the province of the divines to determine the +quality of the proposition, whether it is heretical, or +only savors of heresy; whether it is blasphemous and +injurious to God and His saints or only erroneous, rash, +schismatical, or offensive to pious ears. The part of +the proposition, "Fools! if they think there is any merit +in tormenting one's self," was judged and declared +heretical, as openly contradicting the doctrine and +practice of holy mother church recommending austerities +as highly meritorious. The Inquisitor observed, on this +occasion, that by the proposition, "Fools indeed" &c., +were taxing with folly, not only the holy fathers, who +had all to a man practised great austerities, but St. +Paul himself as the Inquisitor understood it, adding that +the practice of whipping one's self, so much recommended +by all the founders of religious orders, was borrowed of +the great apostle of the gentiles. + +The proposition being declared heretical, it was unanimously +agreed by the board that the person who had uttered it +should be apprehended, and proceeded against agreeably +to the laws of the Inquisition. And now the person was +named; for, till it is determined whether the accused +person should or should not be apprehended, his name is +kept concealed from the counsellors, lest they should be +biased, says the directory, in his favor, or against him. +For, in many instances, they keep up an appearance of +justice and equity, at the same time that, in truth, they +act in direct opposition to all the known laws of justice +and equity. No words can express the concern and +astonishment it gave me to hear, on such an occasion, +the name of a friend for whom I had the greatest esteem +and regard. The Inquisitor was apprised of it; and to +give me an opportunity of practising what he had so often +recommended to me, viz. conquering nature with the +assistance of grace, he appointed me to apprehend the +criminal, as he styled him, and to lodge him safe, before +daylight, in the prison of the holy inquisition. I offered +to excuse myself, but with the greatest submission, from +being in any way concerned in the execution of that order; +an order, I said, which I entirely approved of, but only +wished it might be put in execution by some other person; +for your lordship knows, I said, the connection. But the +Inquisitor shocked at the word, said with a stern look +and angry tone of voice, "What! talk of connections where +the faith is concerned? There is your guard," (pointing +to the Sbirri or bailiffs in waiting) "let the criminal +be secured in St. Luke's cell," (one of the worst,) +"before three in the morning." He then withdrew, and as +he passed me said, "Thus, nature is conquered." I had +betrayed some weakness or sense of humanity, not long +before, in fainting away while I attended the torture of +one who was racked with the utmost barbarity, and I had +on that occasion been reprimanded by the Inquisitor for +suffering nature to get the better of grace; it being an +inexcusable weakness, as he observed, to be in any degree +affected with the suffering of the body, however great, +when afflicted, as they ever are in the Holy Inquisition, +for the good of the soul. And it was, I presume, to make +trial of the effect of that reprimand, that the execution +of this cruel order was committed to me. As I could by +no possible means decline it, I summoned all my resolution, +after passing an hour by myself, I may say in the agonies +of death, and set out a little after two in the morning +for my unhappy friend's house, attended by a notary of +the Inquisition, and six armed Sbirri. We arrived at the +house by different ways and knocking at the door, a +maid-servant looked out of the window, and asked who +knocked. "The Holy Inquisition," was the answer, and at +the same time she was ordered to awake nobody, but to +come down directly and open the door, on pain of +excommunication. At these words, the servant hastened +down, half naked as she was, and having with much ado, +in her great fright, opened the door, she conducted us +as she was ordered to her master's chamber. She often +looked very earnestly at me, as she knew me, and showed +a great desire to speak with me; but of her I durst take +no kind of notice. I entered the bed-chamber with the +notary, followed by the Sbirri, when the lady awakening +at the noise, and seeing the bed surrounded by armed men, +screamed out aloud and continued screaming as out of her +senses, till one of the Sbirri, provoked at the noise +gave her a blow on the forehead that made the blood flow, +and she swooned away. I rebuked the fellow severely, and +ordered him to be whipped as soon as I returned to the +Inquisition. + +In the mean time, the husband awakening, and seeing me +with my attendants, cried out, in the utmost surprise, +"MR. BOWER!" He said no more, nor could I for some time +utter a single word; and it was with much ado that, in +the end I so far mastered my grief as to be able to let +my unfortunate friend know that he was a prisoner of the +Holy Inquisition. "Of the Holy Inquisition!" he replied. +"Alas I what have I done? My dear friend, be my friend +now." He said many affecting things; but as I knew it +was not in my power to befriend him, I had not the courage +to look him in the face, but turning my back to him, +withdrew, while he dressed, to a corner of the room, to +give vent to my grief. The notary stood by, quite +unaffected. Indeed, to be void of all humanity, to be +able to behold one's fellow-creatures groaning under the +most exquisite torments cruelty can invent, without being +in the least affected with their sufferings, is one of +the chief qualifications of an inquisitor, and what all +who belong to the Inquisition must strive to attain to. +It often happens, at that infernal tribunal, that while +the unhappy, and probably innocent, person is crying out +in their presence on the rack, and begging by all that +is sacred for one moment's relief, in a manner one would +think no human heart could withstand, it often happens, +I say, that the inquisitor and the rest of his infamous +crew, quite unaffected with his complaints, and deaf to +his groans, to his tears and entreaties, are entertaining +one another with the news of the town; nay, sometimes +they even insult, with unheard of barbarity, the unhappy +wretches in the height of their torment. + +To return to my unhappy prisoner. He was no sooner dressed +than I ordered the Bargello, or head of the Sbirri, to +tie his hands with a cord behind his back, as is practised +on such occasions without distinction of persons; no more +regard being paid to men of the first rank, when charged +with heresy, than to the meanest offender. Heresy +dissolves all friendship; so that I durst no longer look +upon the man with whom I had lived in the greatest +friendship and intimacy as my friend, or show him, on +that account, the least regard or indulgence. + +As we left the chamber, the countess, who had been conveyed +out of the room, met us, and screaming out in the most +pitiful manner upon seeing her husband with his hands +tied behind his back like a thief or robber, flew to +embrace him, and hanging on his neck, begged, with a +flood of tears, we would be so merciful as to put an end +to her life, that she might have the satisfaction--the +only satisfaction she wished for in this world, of dying +in the bosom of the man from whom she had vowed never to +part. The count, overwhelmed with grief, did not utter +a single word. I could not find it in my heart, nor was +I in a condition to interpose; and indeed a scene of +greater distress was never beheld by human eyes. However, +I gave a signal to the notary to part them, which he did +accordingly, quite unconcerned; but the countess fell +into a swoon, and the count was meantime carried down +stairs, and out of the house, amid the loud lamentations +and sighs of his servants, on all sides, for he was a +man remarkable for the sweetness of his temper, and his +kindness to all around him. + +Being arrived at the Inquisition, I consigned my prisoner +into the hands of a gaoler, a lay brother of St. Dominic, +who shut him up in the dungeon above-mentioned, and +delivered the key to me. I lay that night at the palace +of the Inquisition, where every counsellor has a room, +and returned next morning the key to the inquisitor, +telling him that his order had been punctually complied +with. The inquisitor had been already informed of my +conduct by the notary, and therefore, upon my delivering +the key to him, he said, "You have acted like one who is +at least desirous to overcome, with the assistance of +grace, the inclinations of nature;" that is, like one +who is desirous, by the assistance of grace, to metamorphose +himself from a human creature into a brute or a devil. + +In the Inquisition, every prisoner is kept the first week +of his imprisonment in a dark narrow dungeon, so low that +he cannot stand upright in it, without seeing anybody +but the gaoler, who brings him, EVERY OTHER DAY, his +portion of bread and water, the only food allowed him. +This is done, they say, to tame him, and render him, thus +weakened, more sensible of the torture, and less able to +endure it. At the end of the week, he is brought in the +night before the board to be examined; and on that occasion +my poor friend appeared so altered, in a week's time, +that, had it not been for his dress, I should not have +known him. And indeed no wonder; a change of condition +so sudden and unexpected; the unworthy and barbarous +treatment he had already met with; the apprehension of +what he might and probably should suffer; and perhaps, +more than anything else, the distressed and forlorn +condition of his once happy wife, whom he tenderly loved, +whose company he had enjoyed only six months, could be +attended with no other effect. + +Being asked, according to custom, whether he had any +enemies, and desired to name them, he answered, that he +bore enmity to no man, and he hoped no man bore enmity +to him. For, as in the Inquisition the person accused is +not told of the charge brought against him, nor of the +person by whom it is brought, the inquisitor asks him if +he has any enemies, and desires him to name them. If he +names the informer, all further proceedings are stopped +until the informer is examined anew; and if the information +is found to proceed from ill-will and no collateral proof +can be produced, the prisoner is discharged. Of this +piece of justice they frequently boast, at the same time +that they admit, both as informers and witnesses, persons +of the most infamous characters, and such as are excluded +by all other courts. In the next place, the prisoner is +ordered to swear that he will declare the truth, and +conceal nothing from the holy tribunal, concerning himself +or others, that he knows and the holy tribunal desires +to know. He is then interrogated for what crime he has +been apprehended and imprisoned by the Holy Court of the +Inquisition, of all courts the most equitable, the most +cautious, the most merciful. To that interrogatory the +count answered, with a faint and trembling voice, that +he was not conscious to himself of any crime, cognizable +by the Holy Court, nor indeed by any other; that he +believed and ever had believed whatever holy mother church +believed or required him to believe. He had, it seems +quite forgotten what he had unthinkingly said at the +sight of the two friars. The inquisitor, therefore, +finding that he did not remember or would not own his +crime, after many deceitful interrogatories, and promises +which he never intended to fulfil, ordered him back to +his dungeon, and allowing him another week, as is customary +in such cases, to recollect himself, told him that if he +could not in that time prevail upon himself to declare +the truth, agreeably to his oath, means would be found +of forcing it from him; and he must expect no mercy. + +At the end of the week he was brought again before the +infernal tribunal; and being asked the same questions, +returned the same answers, adding, that if he had done +or said anything amiss, unwittingly or ignorantly, he +was ready to own it, provided the least hint of it were +given him by any there present, which he entreated them +most earnestly to do. He often looked at me, and seemed +to expect--which gave me such concern as no words can +express--that I should say something in his favor. But +I was not allowed to speak on this occasion, nor were +any of the counsellors; and had I been allowed to speak, +I durst not have said anything in his favor; the advocate +appointed by the Inquisition, and commonly styled, "The +Devil's Advocate," being the only person that is suffered +to speak for the prisoner. The advocate belongs to the +Inquisition, receives a salary from the Inquisition, and +is bound by an oath to abandon the defence of the prisoner, +if be undertakes it, or not to undertake it, if he finds +it cannot be defended agreeably to the laws of the Holy +Inquisition; go that the whole is mere sham and imposition. +I have heard this advocate, on other occasions, allege +something in favor of the person accused; but on this +occasion he declared that be had nothing to offer in +defence of the criminal. + +In the Inquisition, the person accused is always supposed +guilty, unless he has named the accuser among his enemies. +And he is put to the torture if he does not plead guilty, +and own the crime that is laid to his charge, without +being so much as told what it is; whereas, in all other +courts, where tortures are used, the charge is declared +to the party accused before he is tortured; nor are they +ever inflicted without a credible evidence of his guilt. +But in the Inquisition, a man is frequently tortured upon +the deposition of a person whose evidence would be admitted +in no other court, and in all cases without hearing the +charge. As my unfortunate friend continued to maintain +his innocence, not recollecting what he had said, he was, +agreeably to the laws of the Inquisition, put to the +torture. He had scarcely borne it twenty minutes, crying +out the whole time, "Jesus Maria!" when his voice failed +him at once, and he fainted away. He was then supported, +as he hung by his arms, by two of the Sbirri, whose +province it is to manage the torture, till he returned +to himself. He still continued to declare that he could +not recollect his having said or done anything contrary +to the Catholic faith, and earnestly begged they would +let him know with what he was charged, being ready to +own it if it was true. + +The Inquisitor was then so gracious as to put him in mind +of what he had said on seeing the two Capuchins. The +reason why they so long conceal from the party accused +the crime he is charged with, is, that if he should be +conscious to himself of his having ever said or done +anything contrary to the faith, which he is not charged +with, he may discover that too, imagining it to be the +very crime he is accused of. After a short pause, the +poor gentleman owned that he had said something to that +purpose; but, as he had said it with no evil intention, +he had never more thought of it, from that time to the +present. He added, but with a voice so faint, as scarce +could be heard, that for his rashness he was willing to +undergo what punishment soever the holy tribunal should, +think fit to impose on him; and he again fainted away. +Being eased for a while of his torment, and returned to +himself, he was interrogated by the promoter fiscal (whose +business it is to accuse and to prosecute, as neither +the informer nor the witnesses, are ever to appear,) +concerning his intention. For in the Inquisition, it is +not enough for the party accused to confess the fact, he +must declare whether his intention was heretical or not; +and many, to redeem themselves from the torments they, +can no longer endure, own their intention was heretical, +though it really was not My poor friend often told us, +he was ready to say whatever he pleased, but as he never +directly acknowledged his intention to have been heretical, +as is required by the rules of the court, he was kept on +the torture still, quite overcome with the violence of +the anguish, he was ready to expire. Being taken down, +he was carried quite senseless, back to his dungeon, and +there, on the third day, death put an end to his sufferings. +The Inquisitor wrote a note to his widow, to desire her +to pray for the soul of her late husband, and warn her +not to complain of the holy Inquisition, as capable of +any injustice or cruelty. The estate was confiscated to +the Inquisition, and a small jointure allowed out of it +to the widow. As they had only been married six months, +and some part of the fortune was not yet paid, the +inquisitor sent an order to the Constantini family, at +Ferno, to pay the holy office, and without delay, what +they owed to the late Count Della Torre. The effects of +heretics are all ipso facto confiscated to the Inquisition +from the very day, not of their conviction, but of their +crime, so that all donations made after that time are +void; and whatever they may have given, is claimed by +the Inquisition, into whatsoever hands it may have passed; +even the fortunes they have given to their daughters in +marriage, have been declared to belong to, and are claimed +by the Inquisition; nor can it be doubted, that the desire +of those confiscations is one great cause of the injustice +and cruelty of that court. + +The death of the unhappy Count Della Torre was soon +publicly known; but no man cared to speak of it, not even +his nearest relations, nor so much as to mention his +name, lest anything should inadvertently escape them that +might be construed into a disapprobation of the proceedings +of the most holy tribunal; so great is the awe all men +live in of that jealous and merciless court. + +The deep impression that the death of my unhappy friend, +the barbarous and inhuman treatment he had met with, and +the part I had been obliged to act in so affecting a +tragedy, made on my mind, got at once the better of my +fears, so that, forgetting in a manner the dangers I had +till then so much apprehended, I resolved, without further +delay to put in execution the design I had formed, of +quitting the Inquisition, and bidding forever adieu to +Italy. To execute that design with some safety, I proposed +to beg leave to visit the Virgin of Loretto, but thirteen +miles distant, and to pass a week there; but in the mean +time, to make the best of my way out of the reach of the +Inquisition. + +Having, therefore, after many conflicts with myself, +asked leave to visit the neighboring sanctuary, and +obtained it, I set out on horseback the very next morning, +leaving, as I proposed to keep the horse, his full value +with the owner. I took the road to Loretto, but turned +out of it a short distance from Recanati, after a most +violent struggle with myself, the attempt appearing to +me at that juncture, quite desperate and impracticable; +and the dreadful doom reserved for me should I miscarry, +presented itself to my mind in the strongest light. But +the reflection that I had it in my power to avoid being +taken alive, and a persuasion that a man in my situation +might lawfully avoid it, when every other means failed +him, at the expense of his life, revived my staggered +resolution; and all my fears ceasing at once, I steered +my course, leaving Loretto behind me, to Rocca Contrada, +to Fossonbrone, to Calvi in the dukedom of Urbino, and +from thence through the Romagna into Bolognese, keeping +the by-roads, and at a good distance from the cities +through which the high road passed. + +Thus I advanced very slowly, travelling in very bad roads, +and often in places where there was no road at all, to +avoid, not only the cities, and towns, but also the +villages. In the mean time I seldom had any other support +but some coarse provisions, and a very small quantity +even, of them, that the poor shepherds, the countrymen +or wood cleavers I met in those unfrequented by-places, +could spare me. My horse fared not much better than +myself; but, in choosing my sleeping-place I consulted +his convenience as much as my own, passing the night +where I found most shelter for myself, and most grass +for him. In Italy there are very few solitary farm-houses +or cottages, the country people all living together in +villages; and I thought it far safer to lie where I could +be in any way sheltered, than to venture into any of +them. Thus I spent seventeen days before I got out of +the ecclesiastical state; and I very narrowly escaped +being taken or murdered, on the very borders of that +state; it happened thus. + +I had passed two whole days without any kind of subsistence +whatever, meeting with no one in the by-roads that could +supply me with any, and fearing to come near any house, +as I was not far from the borders of the dominions of +the Pope. I thought I should be able to hold out till I +got into the Modanese, where I believed I should be in +less danger than while I remained in the papal dominions. +But finding myself, about noon of the third day, extremely +weak and ready to faint away, I came into the high road +that leads from Bologna to Florence, a few miles distant +from the former city, and alighted at a post house, that +stood quite by itself. Having asked the woman of the +house whether she had any victuals, and being told that +she had, I went to open the door of the only room in the +house, (that being a place where gentlemen only stop to +change horses,) and saw to my great surprise, a placard +pasted on it, with a minute description of my whole +person, sad a promise of a reward of 900 crowns (about +200 pounds English money) for delivering me up alive to +the Inquisition, being a fugitive from that holy tribunal, +and of 600 crowns for my head. By the same placard, all +persons were forbidden, on pain of the greater +excommunication, to receive or harbor, entertain, conceal, +or screen me, or to be in any way aiding, or assisting +me to make my escape. This greatly alarmed me, as the +reader may well imagine; but I was still more frightened, +when entering the room, I saw two fellows drinking there, +who, fixing their eyes on me as soon as I went in, +continued looking at me very steadfastly. I strove, by +wiping my face and blowing my nose, and by looking out +of the window, to prevent their having a full view of my +features. But, one of them saying, "The gentleman seems +afraid to be seen," I put up my handkerchief, and turning +to the fellow, said boldly, "What do you mean you rascal? +Look at me; am I afraid to be seen?" He said nothing, +but looking again steadfastly at me, and nodding his +head, went out, and his companion immediately followed +him. I watched them, and seeing them, with two or three +more, in close conference, and no doubt consulting whether +they should apprehend me or not, I walked that moment +into the stable, mounted my horse unobserved by them, +and while they were deliberating in an orchard behind +the house, rode off at full speed, and in a few hours +got into the Modanese, where I refreshed both with food +and rest, as I was there in no immediate danger, my horse +and myself. I was indeed surprised to find that those +fellows did not pursue me, nor can I in any other way +account for it, but by supposing, what is not improbable, +that, as they were strangers as well as myself, and had +all the appearance of banditti or ruffians flying out of +the dominions of the Pope, the woman of the house did +not care to trust them with her horses. From the Modanese +I continued my journey, more leisurely through the +Parmesan, the Milanese, and part of the Venetian territory, +to Chiavenna, subject to the Grisons, who abhor the very +name of the Inquisition, and are ever ready to receive +and protect all who, flying from it, take refuge, as many +Italians do, in their dominions. Still I carefully +concealed who I was, and whence I came, for, though no +Inquisition prevails among the Swiss, yet the Pope's +nuncio who resides at Lucerne, (a popish canton through +which I was to pass,) might have persuaded the magistrate +to stop me as an apostate and deserter from the order. + +Having rested a few days at Chiavenna, I resumed my +journey quite refreshed, continuing it through the country +of the Grisons, and the two small cantons of Ury and +Underwald, to the canton of Lucerne. There I missed my +way, as I was quite unacquainted with the country, and +discovering a city at a distance, was advancing to it, +but slowly, as I knew not where I was, when a countryman +whom I met, informed me that the city before me was +Lucerne. Upon that intelligence, I turned out of the road +as soon as the countryman was out of sight, and that +night I passed with a good natured shepherd in his cottage, +who supplied me with sheep's milk, and my horse with +plenty of grass. I set out early next morning, making my +way westward, as I knew that Berne lay west of Lucerne. +But, after a few miles, the country proved very mountainous, +and having travelled the whole day over mountains I was +overtaken among them by night. As I was looking out for +a place where I might shelter myself during the night, +against the snow and rain, (for it both snowed and rained,) +I perceived a light at a distance, and making towards +it, I got into a kind of foot-path, but so narrow and +rugged that I was obliged to lead my horse, and feel my +way with one foot, (having no light to direct me,) before +I durst move the other. Thus, with much difficulty I +reached the place where the light was, a poor little +cottage, and knocking at the door, was asked by a man +within who I was, and what I wanted? I answered that I +was a stranger and had lost my way. "Lost your way!" +exclaimed the man, "There is no way here to lose." I then +asked him what canton I was in? and upon his answering +that I was in the canton of Berne, I cried out transported +with joy, "I thank God that I am." The good man answered, +"And so do I." I then told him who I was, and that I was +going to Berne but had quite lost myself by keeping out +of all the high roads, to avoid falling into the hands +of those who sought my destruction. He thereupon opened +the door, received and entertained me with all the +hospitality his poverty would admit of; regaled me with +sour crout and some new laid eggs, the only provision he +had, and clean straw with a kind of rug for a bed, he +having no other for himself and wife. The good woman +expressed as much good nature as her husband, and said +many kind things in the Swiss language, which her husband +interpreted to me in the Italian; for that language he +well understood, having learned it in his youth, while +servant in a public home on the borders of Italy, where +both languages are spoken. I never passed a more comfortable +night; and no sooner did I begin to stir in the morning, +than the good man and his wife both came to know how I +rested; and, wishing they had been able to accommodate +me better, obliged me to breakfast on two eggs, which +providence, they said, had sent them for that purpose. +I took leave of the wife, who seemed most sincerely to +wish me a good journey. As for the husband, be would by +all means attend me to the high road leading to Berne; +which road he said was but two miles distant from that +place. But he insisted on my first going back with him, +to see the way I had come the night before; the only way, +he said, I could have possibly come from the neighboring +canton of Lucerne. I saw it, and shuddered at the danger +I had escaped; for I found I had walked and led my horse +a good way along a very narrow path on the brink of a +very dangerous precipice. The man made so many pertinent +and pious remarks on the occasion, as both charmed and +surprised me. I no less admired his disinterestedness +than his piety; for, upon our parting, after he had +attended me till I was out of all danger of losing my +way, I could by no means prevail upon him to accept of +any reward for his trouble. He had the satisfaction, he +said, of having relieved me in the greatest distress, +which was in itself a sufficient reward, and he wished +for no other. + +Having at length got safe into French Flanders, I there +repaired to the college of the Scotch Jesuits at Douay, +and discovering myself to the rector, I acquainted him +with the cause of my sudden departure from Italy, and +begged him to give notice of my arrival, as well as the +motives of my flight to Michael Angelo Tambuvini, general +of the order, and my very particular friend. + +The rector wrote as I desired him, to the general, and +he, taking no notice of my flight, in his answer, (for +he could not disapprove, and did not think it safe to +approve of it,) ordered me to continue where I was till +further notice. I arrived at Douay early in May, and +continued there till the beginning of July, when the +rector received a second letter from the general, +acquainting him that he had been commanded by the +congregation of the Inquisition, to order me, wherever +I was, back into Italy; to promise me, in their name, +full pardon and forgiveness if I obeyed, but if I did +not obey, to treat me as an apostate. He added, that +the same order had been transmitted, soon after my flight, +to the nuncios at the different Roman Catholic courts; +and he, therefore, advised me to consult my own safety +without further delay. + +Upon the receipt of the general's kind letter, the rector +was of opinion that I should repair by all means, and +without loss of time, to England, not only as the safest +asylum I could fly to, in my present situation, but as +a place where I should soon recover my native language, +and be usefully employed, either there or in Scotland. +The place being thus agreed on, and it being at the same +time settled between the rector and me, that I should +set out the very next morning, I solemnly promised, at +his request and desire, to take no kind of notice, after +my arrival in England, of his having been in any way +privy to my flight, or the general's letter to him. This +promise I have faithfully and honorably observed; and +should have thought myself guilty of the blackest +ingratitude if I had not observed it, being sensible +that, had it been known at Rome, that, either the rector +or general had been accessary to my flight, THE INQUISITION +WOULD HAVE RESENTED IT SEVERELY IN BOTH. For although a +Jesuit in France, in Flanders, or in Germany, is out of +the reach of the Inquisition, the general is not; and +the high tribunal not only have it in their power to +punish the general himself, who resides constantly at +Rome, but may oblige him to inflict what punishment they +please on any of the order obnoxious to them. + +The rector went that very night out of town, and in his +absence, but not without his privity, I took one of the +horses of the college, early next morning, as if I were +going for a change of air, being somewhat indisposed, to +pass a few days at Lisle; but steering a different course, +I reached Aire that night and Calais the next day. I was +there in no danger of being stopped and seized at the +prosecution of the Inquisition, a tribunal no less abhorred +in France than in England. But being informed that the +nuncios at the different courts had been ordered, soon +after my flight, to cause me to be apprehended in Roman +Catholic countries through which I must pass, as an +apostate and deserter from the order, I was under no +small apprehension of being discovered and apprehended +as such even at Calais. No sooner, therefore, did I alight +at the Inn, than I went down to the quay, and there as +I was very little acquainted with the sea, and thought +the passage much shorter than it is, I endeavored to +engage some fishermen to carry me that very night, in +one of their small vessels, over to England. This alarmed +the guards of the harbor, and I should have been certainly +apprehended as a person guilty, or suspected of some +great crime, fleeing from justice, had not Lord Baltimore, +whom I had the good luck to meet in the Inn, informed me +of my danger, and pitying my condition, attended me that +moment, with all his company, to the port, and conveyed +me immediately on board his yacht. There I lay that night, +leaving every thing I had but the clothes on my back, in +the Inn; and the next day his Lordship set me ashore at +Dover, from whence I came in the common stage to London. + +In the year 1706, the Inquisition at Arragon was broken +up by the French troops, under the command of the Duke +of Orleans. The Holy Inquisitors were driven from their +beautiful house, and in answer to their indignant +remonstrance were told that the king wanted the house to +quarter his troops in, and they were therefore compelled +to leave it immediately. The doors of the prisons were +then thrown open, and among the four hundred prisoners +who were set at liberty were sixty young women, very +beautiful in person, and clad in the richest attire. + +Anthony Gavin, formerly one of the Roman Catholic priests +of Saragossa, Spain, relates (in a book published by him +after his conversion) that when travelling in France he +met one of those women in the inn at Rotchfort; the son +of the inn-keeper, formerly an officer in the French +army, having married her for her great beauty and superior +intelligence. In accordance with his request, she freely +related to him the incidents of her prison life, from +which we take the following extract: + +"Early the next morning, Mary got up, and told me that +nobody was up yet in the house; and that she would show +me the DRY PAN and the GRADUAL FIRE, on condition that +I should keep it a secret for her sake as well as my own. +This I promised, and she took me along with her, and +showed me a dark room with a thick iron door, and within +it an oven and a large brass pan upon it, with a cover +of the same and a lock to it. The oven was burning at +the time, and I asked Mary for what purpose the pan was +there. Without giving me any answer, she took me by the +hand and led me to a large room, where she showed me a +thick wheel, covered on both sides with thick boards, +and opening a little window in the center of it, desired +me to look with a candle on the inside of it, and I saw +all the circumference of the wheel set with SHARP RAZORS. +After that she showed me a PIT FULL OF SERPENTS AND TOADS. +Then she said to me, 'Now, my good mistress, I'll tell +you the use of these things. The dry pan and gradual fire +are for those who oppose the holy father's will, and for +heretics. They are put naked and alive into the pan, and +the cover of it being locked up, the executioner begins +to put in the oven a small fire, and by degrees he +augmenteth it, till the body is burned to ashes. The +second is designed for those who speak against the Pope +and the holy fathers. They are put within the wheel, and +the door being locked, the executioner turns the wheel +till the person is dead. The third is for those who +contemn the images, and refuse to give the due respect +and veneration to ecclesiastical persons; for they are +thrown alive into the pit, and there they become the food +of serpents and toads.' Then Mary said to me that another +day she would show me the torments for public sinners +and transgressors of the commandments of holy mother +church; but I, in deep amazement, desired her to show me +no more places; for the very thought of those three which +I had seen, was enough to terrify me to the heart. So we +went to my room, and she charged me again to be very +obedient to all commands, for if I was not, I was sure +to undergo the torment of the dry pan." + +Llorente, the Spanish historian and secretary-general of +the Inquisition, relates the following incident: "A +physician, Juan de Salas, was accused of having used a +profane expression, twelve months before, in the heat of +debate. He denied the accusation, and produced several +witnesses to prove his innocence. But Moriz, the inquisitor +at Valladolid, where the charge was laid, caused de Salas +to be brought into his presence in the torture-chamber, +stripped to his shirt, and laid on a LADDER or DONKEY, +an instrument resembling a wooden trough, just large +enough to receive the body, with no bottom, but having +a bar or bars to placed that the body bent, by its own +weight, into an exquisitely painful position. His head +was lower than his heels, and the breathing, in consequence, +became exceedingly difficult. The poor man, so laid, was +bound around the arms and legs with hempen cords, each +of them encircling the limb eleven times. + +"During this part of the operation they admonished him to +confess the blasphemy; but he only answered that he had +never spoken a sentence of such a kind, and then, resigning +himself to suffer, repeated the Athanasian creed, and +prayed to God and our Lady many times. Being still bound, +they raised his head, covered his face with a piece of +fine linen, and, forcing open the mouth, caused water to +drip into it from an earthen jar, slightly perforated at +the bottom, producing in addition to his sufferings from +distension, a horrid sensation of choking. But again, +when they removed the jar for a moment, he declared that +he had never uttered such a sentence; and this he often +repeated. They then pulled the cords on his right leg, +cutting into the flesh, replaced the linen on his face, +dropped the water as before, and tightened the cords on +his right leg the second time; but still he maintained +that he had never spoken such a thing; and in answer to +the questions of his tormentors, constantly reiterated +that he HAD NEVER SPOKEN THOSE WORDS. Moriz then pronounced +that the said torture should be regarded as begun, but +not finished; and De Salas was released, to live, if he +could survive, in the incessant apprehension that if he +gave the slightest umbrage to a familiar, he would be +carried again into the same chamber, and be RACKED IN +EVERY LIMB." + +Llorente also relates, from the original records, another +case quite as cruel and unjust as the above. "On the 8th +day of December, 1528, one Catalina, a woman of BAD +CHARACTER, informed the inquisitors that, EIGHTEEN YEARS +BEFORE she had lived in the house with a Morisco named +Juan, by trade a coppersmith, and a native of Segovia; +that she had observed that neither he nor his children +ate pork or drank wine, and that, on Saturday nights and +Sunday mornings they used to wash their feet, which +custom, as well as abstinence from pork and wine, was +peculiar to the Moors. The old man was at that time an +inhabitant of Benevente, and seventy-one years of age. +But the inquisitors at once summoned him into their +presence, and questioned him at three several interviews. +All that he could tell was, that he received baptism when +he was forty-five years of age; that having never eaten +pork or drunk wine, he had no taste for them; and that, +being coppersmiths, they found it necessary to wash +themselves thoroughly once a week. After some other +examinations, they sent him back to Benevente, with +prohibition to go beyond three leagues' distance from +the town. Two years afterwards the inquisitor determined +that he should be threatened with torture, IN ORDER TO +OBTAIN INFORMATION THAT MIGHT HELP THEM TO CRIMINATE +OTHERS. He was accordingly taken to Valladolid, and in +a subterranean chamber, called the 'chamber, or dungeon, +of torment,' stripped naked, and bound to the 'ladder.' +This might well have extorted something like confession +from an old man of seventy-one; but he told them that +whatever he might say when under torture would be merely +extorted by the extreme anguish, and therefore unworthy +of belief; that he would not, through fear of pain, +confess what had never taken place. They kept him in +close prison until the next Auto de Fe, when he walked +among the penitents, with a lighted candle in his hand, +and, after seeing others burnt to death, paid the holy +office a fee of four ducats, and went home, not acquitted, +but released. He was not summoned again, as he died soon +afterwards." + +It sometimes happened that an individual was arrested +by mistake, and a person who was entirely innocent was +tortured instead of the real or supposed criminal. A +case of this kind Mr. Bower found related at length in +the "Annals of the Inquisition at Macerata." + +"An order was sent from the high tribunal at Rome to all +the inquisitors throughout Italy, enjoining them to +apprehend a clergyman minutely described in that order. +One Answering the description in many particulars being +discovered in the diocese of Osimo, at a small distance +from Macerata, and subject to that Inquisition, he was +there decoyed into the holy office, and by an order from +Rome SO RACKED AS TO LOSE HIS SENSES. In the mean time, +the true person being apprehended, the unhappy wretch +was dismissed, by a second order from Rome, but he never +recovered the use of his senses, NOR WAS ANY CARE TAKEN +OF HIM BY THE INQUISITION." + +It would be easy to fill a volume with such narratives +as the above, but we forbear. We are not writing a history +of the Inquisition. We simply wish to exhibit the true +spirit by which the Romanists are actuated in their +dealings with those over whom they have power. We therefore, +in closing this chapter of horrors, beg leave to place +before our readers one of the FATHERLY BENEDICTIONS with +which, His Holiness, the Pope, dismisses his refractory +subjects. Does it not show most convincingly what he +would do here in America, if he had, among us, the power +he formerly possessed in the old world, when the least +inadvertent word might perchance seal the doom of the +culprit? + + +A POPISH BULL OK CURSE. + +"Pronounced on all who leave the Church of Rome. By the +authority of God Almighty, the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, +and the undefiled Virgin Mary, mother and patroness of +our Saviour, and of all celestial virtues, Angels, +Archangels, Thrones, Dominions, Powers, Cherubim and +Seraphim, and of all the holy Patriarchs, Prophets, and +of all the Apostles and Evangelists, of the holy innocents, +who in the sight of the holy Lamb are found worthy to +sing the new song of the Holy Martyrs and Holy Confessors, +and of all the Holy Virgins, and of all the Saints, +together with the Holy Elect of God,--MAY HE BE DAMNED. +We excommunicate and anathematize him, from the threshold +of the holy church of God Almighty. We sequester him, +that he may be tormented, disposed, and be delivered over +with Datham and Abiram, and with those who say unto the +Lord, 'Depart from us, we desire none of thy ways;' as +a fire is quenched with water, so let the light of him +be put out forevermore, unless it shall repent him, and +make satisfaction. Amen. + +"May the Father who creates man, curse him. May the Son, +who suffered for us, curse him! May the Holy Ghost who +is poured out in baptism, curse him! May the Holy Cross, +which Christ for our salvation, triumphing over his +enemies, ascended, curse him! + +"May the Holy Mary, ever Virgin and Mother of God, curse +him! May all the Angels, Principalities, and Powers, and +all heavenly Armies curse him! May the glorious band of +the Patriarchs and Prophets curse him! "May St. John +the Precursor, and St John the Baptist, and St. Peter +and St Paul, and St. Andrew and all other of Christ's +Apostles together curse him and may the rest of the +Disciples and Evangelists who by their preaching converted +the universe, and the Holy and wonderful company of +Martyrs and Confessors, who by their works are found +pleasing to God Almighty; may the holy choir of the Holy +Virgins, who for the honor of God have despised the things +of the world, damn him. May all the Saints from the +beginning of the world to everlasting ages, who are found +to be beloved of God, damn him! + +"May he be damned wherever he be, whether in the house +or in the alley, in the woods or in the water, or in the +church! May he be cursed in living or dying! + +"May he be cursed in eating and drinking, in being hungry, +in being thirsty, in fasting and sleeping, in slumbering, +and in sitting, in living, in working, in resting, and +in blood letting! May he be cursed in all the faculties +of his body! + +"May he be cursed inwardly and outwardly. May he be cursed +in his hair; cursed be he in his brains, and his vertex, +in his temples, in his eyebrows, in his cheeks, in his +jaw-bones, in his nostrils, in his teeth, and grinders, +in his lips, in his shoulders, in his arms, and in his +fingers. + +"May he be damned in his mouth, in his breast, in his +heart, and purtenances, down to the very stomach! + +"May he be cursed in his reins and groins, in his thighs +and his hips, and in his knees, his legs and his feet, +and his toe-nails! + +"May he be cursed in all his joints, and articulation of +the members; from the crown of the head to the soles of +his feet, may there be no soundness! + +"May the Son of the living God, with all the glory of +his majesty, CURSE HIM! And may Heaven, with all the +powers that move therein, rise up against him, and curse +and damn him; unless he repent and make satisfaction! +Amen! So be it. Be it so. Amen." + +Such was the CURSE pronounced on the Rev. Wm. Hogan, (a +converted Roman Catholic priest) a few years since, in +Philadelphia. + +As a further proof of the cruel, persecuting spirit of +Catholicism, let us glance at a few extracts from their +own publications. + +"Children," they say, "are obliged to denounce their +parents or relations who are guilty of heresy; ALTHOUGH +THEY KNOW THAT THEY WILL BE BURNT. They may refuse them +all nourishment, and permit them to die with hunger; or +they may KILL THEM as enemies, who violate the rights of +humanity.--Escobar, Theolg. Moral, vol. 4, lib. 31, sec. +2, precept 4, prop. 5, p. 239." + +"A man condemned by the Pope, may be killed wherever he +is found."--La Croix, vol. 1, p. 294. + +"Children may kill their parents, if they would turn +their children from the Popish faith." "If a judge decide +contrary to law, the injured person may defend himself +by killing the judge."--Fangundez Precept Decal, vol. 1, +lib. 4, chap. 2, p. 501, 655, and vol. 2, lib. 8, chap. +32; p. 390. + +"To secretly kill your calumniator, to avoid scandal, is +justifiable."--Ayrault, Cens. p. 319. + +"You may kill before hand, any person who may put you to +death, not EXCEPTING THE JUDGE, AND WITNESSES, because +it is self-defence."--Emanuel Sa. Aphor, p. 178. + +"A priest may kill those who hinder him from taking +possession of any Ecclesiastical office."--Arnicus, Num, +131. + +"You may charge your opponent with false crime to take +away his credit, as well as kill him."--Guimenius, prop, +8, p. 86. + +"Priests may kill the laity to preserve their goods."-- +Nolina, vol. 3, disput. 16, p. 1786. + +"You may kill any man to save a crown."--Taberna, Synop. +Theol. Tract, pars. 2, chap. 27, p. 256. + +"BY THE COMMAND OF GOD IT IS LAWFUL TO MURDER THE INNOCENT, +TO ROB, AND TO COMMIT ALL KIND OF WICKEDNESS, BECAUSE HE +IS THE LORD OF LIFE AND DEATH, AND ALL THINGS; AND THUS +TO FULFILL HIS MANDATE IS OUR DUTY."--Alagona, Thorn. +Aquin, Sum. Theol. Compend, Quest. 94, p. 230. + +Again, in the Romish Creed found in the pocket of Priest +Murphy, who was killed in the battle of Arklow, 1798, we +find the following articles. "We acknowledge that the +priests can make vice virtue, and virtue vice, according +to their pleasure. + +"We are bound to believe that the holy massacre was +lawful, and lawfully put into execution, against +Protestants, and likewise WE ARE TO CONTINUE THE SAME, +PROVIDED WITH SAFETY TO OUR LIVES! + +"We are bound not to keep our oaths with heretics, though +bound by the most sacred ties. We are bound not to believe +their oaths; for their principles are damnation. We are +bound to drive heretics with fire, sword, faggot, and +confusion, out of the land; as our holy fathers say. if +their heresies prevail we will become their slaves. We +are bound to absolve without money or price, those who +imbrue their hands in the blood of a heretic!" Do not +these extracts show very clearly that Romanism can do +things as bad as anything in the foregoing narrative? + + + + +APPENDIX VI. + +ROMANISM OF THE PRESENT DAY. + +Whenever we refer to the relentless cruelties of the +Romanists, we are told, and that, too, by the influential, +the intelligent, those who are well-informed on other +subjects, that "these horrid scenes transpired only in +the 'dark ages;'" that "the civilization and refinement +of the present age has so modified human society, so +increased the milk of human kindness, that even Rome +would not dare, if indeed she had the heart, to repeat +the cruelties of by-gone days." + +For the honor of humanity we could hope that this opinion +was correct; but facts of recent date compel us to believe +that it is as false as it is ruinous to the best interests +of our country and the souls of men. A few of these facts, +gathered from unquestionable sources, and some of them +related by the actors and sufferers themselves, we place +before the reader. + +In November, 1854, Ubaldus Borzinski, a monk of the +Brothers of Mercy, addressed an earnest petition to the +Pope, setting forth the shocking immoralities practised +in the convents of his order in Bohemia. He specifies +nearly forty crimes, mostly perpetrated by priors and +subpriors, giving time, place, and other particulars, +entreating the Pope to interpose his power, and correct +those horrible abuses. + +For sending this petition, he was thrown into a madhouse +of the Brothers of Mercy, at Prague, where he still +languishes in dreary confinement, though the only mark +of insanity he ever showed was in imagining that the Pope +would interfere with the pleasures of the monks. + +This Ubaldus has a brother, like minded with himself, +also a member of the same misnamed order of monks, who +has recently effected his escape from durance vile. + +John Evangelist Borzinski was a physician in the convent +of the Brothers of Mercy at Prague. He is a scientific +and cultivated man. By the study of the Psalms and Lessons +from the New Testament, which make up a considerable part +of the Breviary used in cloisters, he was first led into +Protestant views. He had been for seventeen years resident +in different cloisters of his order, as sick-nurse, alms +gatherer, student, and physician, and knew the conventual +life out and out. As he testifies: "There was little of +the fear of God, so far as I could see, little of true +piety; but abundance of hypocrisy, eye-service, deception, +abuse of the poor sick people in the hospitals, such love +and hatred as are common among the children of this world, +and the most shocking vices of every kind." + +He now felt disgust for the cloister life, and for the +Romish religion, and he sought, by the aid of divine +grace, to attain to the new birth through the Word of +God. Speaking of his change of views to a Prussian +clergyman, he thus describes his conversion: "Look you, +it was thus I became a Protestant. I found a treasure in +that dustheap, and went away with it." This treasure he +prized more and more. He then thought within himself, if +these detached passages can give such light, what an +illumination he must receive if he could read and understand +the whole Bible. + +He did not, however, betray his dissatisfaction, but +devoted himself to his professional duties with greater +diligence. He might still have remained in the Order, +his life hid with Christ in God, had not the hierarchy, +under pretence of making reforms and restoring the +neglected statutes of the Order, brought in such changes +for the worse as led him to resolve to leave the order, +and the Romish church as well. Following his convictions, +and the advice of a faithful but very cautious clergyman, +he betook himself to the territories of Prussia, where, +on the 17th of January, 1855, he was received into the +national church at Petershain, by Dr. Nowotny, himself +formerly a Bohemian priest. This was not done till great +efforts had been made to induce him to change his purpose, +and also to get his person into the power of his +adversaries. As he had now left the church of Rome, become +an openly acknowledged member of another communion, he +thought he might venture to return to his own country. +Taking leave of his Prussian friends, to whom he had +greatly endeared himself by his modesty and his lively +faith, he went back to Bohemia, with a heart full of +peace and joy. + +He lived for some time amidst many perplexities, secluded +in the house of his parents at Prosnitz, till betrayed +by some who dwelt in the same habitation. On the 6th of +March he was taken out of bed, at eight, by the police, +and conveyed first to the cloister in Prosnitz, where he +suffered much abuse, and from thence to the cloister in +Prague. Here the canon Dittrich, "Apostolical Convisitator +of the Order of the Brothers of Mercy," justified all +the inhuman treatment he had suffered, and threatened +him with worse in case he refused to recant and repent. +Dittrich not only deprived him of his medical books, but +told him that his going over to Protestantism was a +greater crime than if he had plundered the convent of +two thousand florins. He was continually dinned with the +cry, "Retract, retract!" He was not allowed to see his +brother, confined in the same convent, nor other friends, +and was so sequestered in his cell as to make him feel +that he was forgotten by all the world. + +He managed, through some monks who secretly sympathized +with him, to get a letter conveyed occasionally to Dr. +Nowotny. These letters were filled with painful details +of the severities practised upon him. In one of them he +says, "My only converse is with God, and the gloomy walls +around me." He was transferred to a cell in the most +unwholesome spot, and infested with noisome smells not +to be described. Close by him were confined some poor +maniacs, sunk below the irrational brutes. + +Under date of April 23d he writes: "Every hour, in this +frightful dungeon seems endless to me. For many weeks +have I sat idle in this durance, with no occupation but +prayer and communion with God." His appeals to civil +authority and to the Primate of Hungary procured him no +redress, but only subjected him to additional annoyances +and hardships. His aged father, a man of four-score years, +wept to see him, though of sound understanding, locked +up among madmen; and when urged to make his son recant, +would have nothing to do with it, and returned the same +day to his sorrowful home. As he had been notified that +he was to be imprisoned for life, he prayed most earnestly +to the Father of mercies for deliverance; and he was +heard, for his prayers and endeavors wrought together. +The sinking of his health increased his efforts to escape; +for, though he feared not to die, he could not bear the +thought of dying imprisoned in a mad-house, where he knew +that his enemies would take advantage of his mortal +weakness to administer their sacraments to him, and give +out that he had returned to the bosom of the church, or +at least to shave his head, that he might be considered +as an insane person, and his renunciation of Romanism as +the effect of derangement of mind. Several plans of escape +were projected, all beset with much difficulty and danger. +The one he decided upon proved to be successful. + +On Saturday, the 13th of October, at half-past nine in +the evening, he fastened a cord made of strips of linen +to the grate of a window, which grate did not extend to +the top. Having climbed over this, he lowered himself +into a small court-yard. He had now left that part of +the establishment reserved for the insane, and was now +in the cloistered part where the brethren dwelt. But here +his fortune failed him. He saw at a distance a servant +of the insane approaching with a light; and with aching +heart and trembling limbs, by a desperate effort, climbed +up again. He returned to his cell, concealing his cord, +and laid himself down to rest. + +On the following Monday, he renewed his efforts to escape. +He lowered himself, as before, into the little court-yard; +but being weak in health and much shaken in his nervous +system by all he had suffered in body and mind, he was +seized with palpitation of the heart and trembled all +over, so that he could not walk a step. He laid down to +rest and recover his breath. He felt as if he could get +no further. "But," he says in his affecting narrative, +"My dear Saviour to whom I turned in this time of need, +helped me wonderfully. I felt now, more than ever in my +life, His gracious and comforting presence, and believed, +in that dismal moment, with my whole soul, His holy word;" +"My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made +perfect in weakness." + +Borzinski now arose, pulled off his boots, and though +every step was made with difficulty, he ascended the +stairs leading to the first story. He went along the +passage way until he came to a door leading into corridors +where the cloister brethren lodged. But the trembling +fit came over him again, with indescribable anguish, as +he sought to open the door with a key with which he had +been furnished. He soon rallied again, and, like a +spectre, gliding by the doors of the brethren, who occupied +the second and third corridors, many of whom had lights +still burning, he came with his boots in one hand, and +his bundle in the other, to a fourth passage way, in +which was an outside window he was trying to reach. The +cord was soon fastened to the window frame, yet still in +bitter apprehension; for this window was seldom opened, +and opened hard, and with some noise. It was also only +two steps distant from the apartment of the cloister +physician, where there was a light, and it was most likely +that, on the first grating of the window, he would rush +out and apprehend the fugitive. However the window was +opened without raising any alarm, and now it was necessary +to see that no one was passing below; for though the spot +is not very much frequented, yet the streets cross there, +and people approach it from four different directions. +During these critical moments, one person and another +kept passing, and poor Borzinski tarried shivering in +the window for near a quarter of an hour before he ventured +to let himself down. While he was waiting his opportunity +he heard the clock strike the third quarter after nine +and knew that he had but fifteen minutes to reach the +house where he was to conceal himself, which would be +closed at ten. When all was still, he called most fervently +on the Saviour, and grasping the cord, slid down into +the street. He could scarce believe his feet were on the +ground. Trembling now with joy and gratitude rather than +fear, he ran bareheaded to his place of refuge, where he +received a glad welcome. Having changed his garb, and +tarried till three o'clock in the morning, he took leave +of his friends and passing through the gloomy old capital +of Bohemia, he reached the Portzitscher Gate, in order +to pass out as early as possible. Just then a police +corporal let in a wagon, and Borzinski, passed out +unchallenged. It is needless to follow him further in +his flight. We have given enough, of his history to prove +that conventual establishments are at this moment what +they ever have been--dangerous alike to liberty and life. +AMERICAN AND FOREIGN CHRISTIAN UNION. + +In place of labored arguments we give the following +history of personal suffering as strikingly illustrative of +the spirit of Romanism at the present day. + + + + +APPENDIX VII + +NARRATIVE OP SIGNORINA FLORIENCIA D' ROMANI, A +NATIVE OF THE CITY OF NAPLES. + +I was born in the year 1826, of noble and wealthy parents. +Our mansion contained a small chapel, with many images, +sacred paintings, and a neatly furnished mass altar. My +father was a man of the world. He loved the society of +fashionable men. As he lived on the rents and income of +his estates, he had little to do, except to amuse himself +with his friends. My mother, who was of as mild and sweet +disposition, loved my father very dearly, but was very +unhappy the most of the time because my father spent so +much of his time in drinking with his dissolute companions, +card playing, and in balls, parties, theatres, operas, +billiards, &c. Father did not intend to be unkind to my +mother, for he gave her many servants, and abundance of +gold, horses, carriages and grooms, and said frequently +in my hearing, that his wife should be as happy as a +princess. Such was the state of society in Italy that +men thought their wives had no just reason to complain, +so long as they were furnished with plenty of food, +raiment and shelter. + +One of my father's most intimate friends was the very +Rev. Father Salvator, a Priest of the order of St. Francis; +he wore the habit of the order, his head was about half +shaved. The sleeves of his habit were very large at the +elbow; in these sleeves he had small pockets, in which +he usually carried his snuff box, handkerchief, and purse +of gold. This priest was merry, full of fun and frolic; +he could dance, sing, play cards, and tell admirably +funny stories, such as would make even the devils laugh +in their chains. + +Such was the influence and power this Franciscan had over +my father and mother, that in our house, his word was +law. He was our confessor, knew the secrets and sins, +and all the weak points of every mind in the whole +household. My own dear mother taught me to read before +I was seven years of age. As I was the only child, I was +much petted and caressed, indeed, such was my mother's +affection for me that I was seldom a moment out of her +sight. There was a handsome mahogany confessional in our +own chapel. When the priest wanted any member of the +household to come to him to confession, he wrote the name +on a slate that hung outside the chapel door, saying that +he would hear confessions at such a time to-morrow. Thus, +we would always have time for the full examination of +our consciences. Only one at a time was ever admitted +into the chapel, for confessional duty, and the priest +always took care to lock the door inside and place the +key in his sleeve pocket. My mother and myself were +obliged to confess once a week; the household servants, +generally once a month. My father only once a year, during +Lent, when all the inhabitants of seven years, and upwards, +are obliged to kneel down to the priests, in the +confessional, and receive the wafer God under the severest +penalties. Woe to the individual who resists the +ecclesiastical mandate. + +When I was about fourteen years of age, I was sent to +the Ursuline Convent, to receive my education. My dear +mother would have preferred a governess or a competent +teacher to teach me at home but her will was but a mere +straw in the hands of our confessor and priestly tyrant. +It was solely at the recommendation of the confessor, +that I was imprisoned four years in the Ursuline Convent. +As my confessor was also the confessor of the convent, +he called himself my guardian and protector, and recommended +me to the special care of the Mother Abbess, and her holy +nuns, the teachers, who spent much of their time in the +school department. As my father paid a high price, +quarterly, for my tuition and board, I had a good room +to myself, my living was of the best kind, and I always +had wine at dinner. The nuns, my teachers, took much more +pains to teach me the fear of the Pope, bishops and +confessors, than the fear of God, or the love of virtue. +In fact, with the exception of a little Latin and +embroidery, which I learned in those four years, I came +out as ignorant as I was before, unless a little hypocrisy +may be called a useful accomplishment. For, of all human +beings on earth, none can teach hypocrisy so well as the +Romish priests and nuns. In the school department young +ladies seldom have much to complain of, unless they are +charity scholars; in that case the poor girls have to +put up with very poor fare, and much hard work, hard +usage and even heavy blows; how my heart has ached for +some of those unfortunate girls, who are treated more +like brutes, than human beings, because they are orphans, +and poor. Yet they in justice are entitled to good +treatment, for thousands of scudi (dollars) are sent as +donations to the convents for the support of these orphans, +every year, by benevolent individuals. So that as poor +and unfortunate as these girls are, they are a source of +revenue to the convents. + +For the first three years of my convent life, I passed +the time in the school department, without much anxiety +of mind. I was gay and thoughtless, my great trouble was +to find something to amuse myself, and kill time in some +way. Though I treated all the school-mates with kindness, +and true Italian politeness, I became intimate with only +one. She was a beautiful girl, from the dukedom of Tuscany. +She made me her confidant, and told me all her heart. +Her parents were wealthy, and both very strict members +of the Romish Church. But she had an aunt in the city of +Geneva, who was a follower of John Calvin, or a member +of the Christian church of Switzerland. This aunt had +been yearly a visitor at her father's house. She being +her father's only sister, an affectionate intimacy was +formed between the aunt and niece. The aunt, being a very +pious, amiable woman, felt it her duty to impress the +mind of the niece, with the superiority of the religion +of the holy bible over popish traditions; and the truth +of the Scriptures soon found its way to the heart of my +young friend. But her confessor soon found out that some +change was going on in her mind, and told her father. +There were only two ways to save her soul from utter +ruin; one was to give her absolution and kill her before +she got entirely out of the holy mother church; the other, +was to send her to the Ursuline convent at Naples, where +by the zeal and piety of those celebrated nuns, she might +be secured from further heresy. + +From this, the best friend of my school days, I learned +more about God's word, and virtue, and truth, and the +value of the soul, than from all other sources. There +was a garden surrounded by a high wall, in which we +frequently walked, and whispered to each other, though +we trembled all the while for fear our confessor would +by some means, find out that we looked upon the Romish +church as the Babylon destined to destruction, plainly +spoken of by St. John the revelator. + +My young friend stood in great fear of the priests; she +trembled at the very sight of one. + +Her aunt had read to her the history and sufferings of +the persecuted Protestants of Europe. She was a frail, +and timid girl, yet such was the depth of her piety and +the fervor of her religious faith, that she often declared +to me that she would prefer death to the abandonment of +those heavenly principles she had embraced, which were +the source of her joy and hope. Her aunt gave her a pocket +New Testament, in the Italian language, which she prized +above all the treasures of earth, and carried with her +carefully, wherever she went. I borrowed it and read it +every opportunity I had. Several chapters I learned by +heart. I took much pains to commit to memory all I could +of the blessed book, for in case of our separation, I +knew not where I could obtain another. My god-father +who was a bishop, called to see me on my fifteenth birth +day, and presented me with a splendid gold watch and +chain richly studded with jewels, made in England, and +valued at 200 scudi, saying that he had it imported +expressly for my use. I had also several diamond articles +of jewelry, presents I had received from my father from +time to time. I had also, in my purse, 100 scudi in gold, +which I had saved from my pin money. All the above +property, I should have cheerfully given for a copy of +the Holy Bible, in my own beautiful Italian language. A +few months after I received the rich present from the +Bishop, he called with my father and my confessor to see +me. My heart almost came into my mouth when I saw them +alight from my father's carriage, and enter the chapel +door of the convent. Very soon the lady porter came to +me and said, "Signorina, you are wanted in the parlor." + +As my Tuscan friend had taught me to pray, and ask the +Lord Jesus for grace and strength, I walked into my room, +locked the door, and on my knees, called upon the Lord +to save me from becoming a nun--for I knew then it was +a determination on the part of the Abbess, bishop and +confessor, that I should take the veil. I was the only +child, and heiress of an immense fortune, of course, too +good a prize to be lost. After a short and fervent prayer +to my Lord and Saviour, I walked down to see what was to +be my doom. I kissed my father's cheek, and kissed the +hands of the Bishop and confessor--yet my very soul +revolted from the touch of these whited sepulchres. All +received me with great cordiality, yea, even more than +usual affection. Soon after our meeting, my father asked +permission of the Bishop to speak to me privately and +taking me into a small room, said to me, "My dear daughter, +you are not aware of the great misfortune that has recently +come upon your father. While I was excited with wine at +the card-table last evening, betting high and winning +vast sums of money, I so far forgot myself and my duty +to the laws of the country, that I called for a toast, +and induced a number of my inebriated companions to drink +the health of Italian liberty, and we all drank and gave +three cheers for liberty and a liberal constitution. A +Benedictine Friar being present, took all our names to +the Commissary General, and offered to be a witness +against us in the King's Court. As this is my first and +only offence, the holy Bishop your god-father offers on +certain conditions, to visit Rome immediately on my +behalf, and secure the mediation of the holy Father Pius +IX. Your venerable god-father has great influence at +Rome, being a special favorite with his holiness, and +his holiness can obtain any favor he asks of King Ferdinand. +So if you will only consent to take the Black Veil, your +father will be saved from the State prison." + +This was terrible news to my young and palpitating heart. +It was the first heavy blow that I had experienced in +this vale of tears. I did not speak for some minutes; I +could not. My trembling bosom heaved like the waves of +the ocean before the blast. My veins were almost bursting; +my hands and feet became as cold as marble, and when I +attempted to speak my words seemed ready to choke me to +death. I thought my last hour had come. I fell upon my +knees and called upon God for mercy and help. My father, +thinking I had gone mad, was greatly alarmed. The Bishop +and confessor, who were anxiously waiting the result of +my father's proposition, hearing my father weep and sob +aloud, came in to see what the matter was. In the midst +of my prayer, I fainted away, and became entirely +unconscious. When I came to myself, I found myself on +the bed. As I opened my eyes, it all seemed like a dream. +The abbess spoke to me very kindly, and sprinkled my bed +with holy water, and at the same time laid a large bronze +crucifix on my breast, saying that Satan must be driven +from my soul, for had it not been for the devil, I would +have leaped for joy, and not fainted when father mentioned +the black veil. "No," said the holy mother, "had it not +been for the devil you would rejoice to take the holy +black veil blessed by the Holy Madonna and the blessed +saints Clara and Theresa. It is a holy privilege that +very few can enjoy on earth. Yea, my daughter, there +can not be a greater sin in the sight of the Madonna and +the blessed saints, than to reject a secluded life. Yea," +said the crafty old nun, (who was thinking much more +about my gold, than my soul,) "I never knew a young lady +who had the offer of becoming a nun and rejected it, who +ever came to a good end. If they refuse, and marry, they +generally die in child-bed with the first child, or they +will marry cruel husbands, who beat them and kill them +by inches. Therefore, dear daughter, let me most +affectionately warn you as you have had the honor of +being selected by the holy Bishop and our holy confessor +to the high dignity and privilege of a professed nun, of +the order of St. Ursula, reject it not at your peril. Be +assured, heaven knows how to punish such rebellion." + +My head ached so violently at the time, and I was so +feverish that I begged the old woman to send for my +mother, and to talk to me no more on the subject of the +black veil, but to drop it until some future time. In my +agony on account of the foul plot against my liberty, my +virtue, and my gold, I felt such a passion of rage come +upon me, that had I absolute power for the moment I would +have cast every Abbess, Pope, Bishop and Priest into the +bottomless pit. May the Lord forgive me, but I would +have done it at that time with a good will. The greatest +comfort I now had was reading my Tuscan friend's New +Testament, or hearing it read by her when we had a chance +to be by ourselves, which was not very often. In the +evening of the same day of my illness, father and mother +came to see me, and Satan came also in the shape of the +confessor; so that I had not a moment alone with my dear +parents. The confessor feared my determined opposition +to a convent's life, for he had previous to this, several +times in the confessional, dropped hints to me on the +great happiness, purity, serenity and joy of all holy +nuns. But I always told him I would not be a nun for the +world. I should be so good, it would kill me in a short +time. "No, no, father," said I, "I WILL NOT BE A NUN." + +Father spoke to me again of his great misfortune--told +me that his trial would come on in a few days and that +he was now at liberty on a very heavy bail; that the +Bishop was only waiting my answer to start immediately +for the holy city, and throw himself at the feet of the +holy Pope to procure father's unconditional pardon from +the King. I said "my dear father, how long will you be +imprisoned if you do not get a pardon?" "From two to five +years," he replied. "My daughter, it is my first offence, +and I have witnesses to prove that the priest who appeared +against me, urged me to drink wine several times after +I had drank a large quantity, and was the direct cause +of my saying what I did." Now it all came to me, that +the whole of it was a plot, a Jesuitical trick, to get +my father in the clutches of the law, and then make a +slave of me for life through my sympathy for my dear +father. + +The vile priests knew that I loved my father most ardently; +in fact, my father and mother were the only two beings +on earth that I did love. My mother I loved most tenderly, +but my affection for my father was of a different kind. +I loved him most violently, with all the ardor of my +soul. Mother seemed all the home to me; but father was +to me all the world beside. My father was all the brother +I had. He would frequently come home, and get me to go +out into the garden and play with him, just as though he +was my brother. There we would swing, run, jump and +exercise in several healthy games, common in our climate. +He never gave me an unkind word or an unkind reproof. If +I did say anything wrong, he would take me to my mother +and say, "Clara, here I bring you a prisoner, let her be +kept on bread and water till dinner time." Even when +mother had displeased him about some trifle, so that he +had not a smile for her, he always had a smile for his +Flora. Even now, while I write, a chill comes over my +frame, while I think of that vile Popish plot. I said to +my father, "You shall not be imprisoned if I can prevent +it; at the same time I do not see any great gain, comfort +or profit in having your only daughter put in prison for +life, without the hope of liberty ever more, to save you +from two years imprisonment." + +At these words, the eyes of the confessor flashed like +lurid lightnings; his very frame shook, as though he had +the fever and ague. Truth seemed so strange to the priest, +that he found it hard of digestion. Father and mother +both wept, but made no reply. The idea of putting their +only child in a dungeon for life, though it might be done +in the sacred name of religion, did not seem to give them +much comfort "Father," said I, "I wish to see you at ten +o'clock to-morrow morning, without fail--I wish to see +you alone; don't bring mother or any one else with you. +You shall not go to prison, all will yet be well." On +account of this reasonable request, to see my father +alone, the confessor arose in a terrible rage and left +the apartment As quick as the mad priest left us to +ourselves, I told my father my plan, or what I would like +to do with his permission. My plan was, for my mother +and myself to get into our carriage and drive to the +palace of King Ferdinand and make him acquainted with +all the truth; for I was aware from what I had heard, +that the King had heard only the priest's side of the +story. My father stood in such fear of the priests that +he only consented to my plan with great reluctance, saying +that we ought first to make our plan known to the confessor, +lest he should be offended. To this my mother responded, +saying, "My daughter, it would be very wrong for us to +go to the King, or take any step without the advice of +our spiritual guide." Here, I felt it to be my duty to +reveal to my deceived parents some of the secrets of the +confessional, though I might, in their estimation, be +guilty of an unpardonable sin by breaking the seal of +iniquity. I revealed to my parents the frequent efforts +of the priest to obtain my consent to take the veil, and +that I had opposed from first to last, every argument +made use of to rob me of the society of my parents, of +my liberty, and of everything I held dear on earth. As +to the happiness of the nuns so much talked of by the +priests, from what I had seen in their daily walk and +general deportment, I was fully convinced that there was +no reality in it; they were mere slaves to their superiors, +and not half so happy as the free slaves on a plantation +who have a kind master. My parents saw my determination +to resist to the death every plan for my imprisonment in +the hateful nunnery. Therefore they promised that I +should have the opportunity to see the King on the morrow +in company with my mother. + +On the following day, at twelve o'clock, we left the +convent in our carriage for the palace. We were very +politely received by the gentleman usher, who conducted +us to seats in the reception-room. After sending our +cards to the king, we waited nearly one hour before he +made his appearance. His majesty received us with much +kindness, raised us immediately from our knees, and +demanded our business. I was greatly embarrassed at first, +but the frank and cordial manner of the sovereign soon +restored me to my equilibrium, and I spoke freely in +behalf of my dear father. The king heard me through very +patiently, with apparent interest, and said, "Signorina, +I am inclined to believe you have spoken the truth; and +as your father has always been a good loyal subject, I +shall, for your sake, forgive him this offence; but let +him beware that henceforth, wine or no wine, be does not +trespass against the laws of the kingdom, for a second +offence I will not pardon. Go in peace, signoras, you +have my royal word." + +We thanked his majesty, and returned to our home with +the joyful tidings. O, how brief was our joy! My father, +who had been waiting the result of our visit to the palace +with great impatience, received us with open arms, and +pressed us to his heart again and again. + +I was so excited that, long before we got to him, I cried +out, "All is well, all is well, father. A pardon from +the king! Joy, joy!" We drove home, and father went +immediately to spread the happy news amongst his friends. +All our faithful domestics, including my old affectionate +nurse, were so overjoyed at the news that they danced +about like maniacs. My father was always a very indulgent +and liberal master, furnished his servants with the best +of Italian fare, plenty of fresh beef, wine, and macaroni. +We had scarcely got rested, when our tormenter, the +confessor, came into our room and said, "Signoras, what +is the meaning of all this fandango and folly amongst +the servants? ARE THE HERETICS ALL KILLED, that there +should be such joy, or has the queen been delivered of +a son, an heir to the throne?" + +My dear mother was now as pale as death, and silent, for +she saw that the priest was awfully enraged; for, although +he feigned to smile, his smile was similar to that of +the hyena when digging his prey out of the grave. The +priest's dark and villainous visage had the effect of +confirming in my mother's mind all the truth regarding +the plot to enslave me for life, and secure all my father's +estate to the pockets of the priests. The confessor was +now terribly mad, for two obvious reasons: one was because +he was not received by us with our usual cordiality and +blind affection; the other, because, by the king's pardon, +I was not under the necessity to sacrifice my liberty +and happiness for life to save my father from prison; +and what tormented him the most was, that he believed +that I, though young, could understand and thwart his +hellish plans. As my mother trembled and was silent, +fearing the priest was cursing her and her only daughter +in his heart,--for the priests tell such awful stories +about the effects of a priest's curse that the great mass +of the Italian people fear it more than the plague or +any earthly misfortune. + +The popish priests declare that St. Peter is the doorkeeper +of the great city of God, the heavenly Jerusalem, that +he has the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and has received +strict orders not to admit any soul, under any +circumstances, who has been cursed by a holy priest, +unless that curse has been removed by the same priest in +the tribunal of penance. I was obliged to speak to his +reverence, and I felt so free, so happy in Christ as my +only hope, that I opened my mind to the priest very +freely, and told him what I thought of him and his plot. +"Sir priest," said I, "I shall never return to the convent +to stay long. As soon as the time for my education ends, +I shall return to liberty and domestic life. I am not +made of the proper material to make a nun of. I love the +social domestic circle; I love my father and mother, and +all our domestics, even the dogs and the cats, pigeons, +and canaries, the fish-ponds, play-grounds, gardens, +rivers, and landscapes, mountain and ocean,--all the +works of God I love. I shall live out of the convent to +enjoy these things; therefore, reverend sir, if you value +my peace and good-will, never speak to me or my parents +on the subject of my becoming a nun in any convent. I +shall prefer death to the loss of my personal liberty." + +I was so decided, and had received such strength and +grace from heaven, that the priest was dumbfounded,--my +smooth stone out of the sling had hit him in the right +place. After much effort to appear bland and good-natured, +he drew near my chair, seized my hand, and said, "My dear +daughter, you mistake me. I love you as a daughter, I +wish only your happiness. Your god-father, the holy +Bishop, does not intend that you shall remain a common +nun more than a year. After the first year you shall be +raised to the highest dignity in the convent. You shall +be the Lady Superior, and all the nuns shall bow at your +feet, and implicitly obey your commands. + +"The Lady Superior of St. Clara is now very old, and his +lordship wishes soon to fill her place. For that purpose +he has selected his adopted daughter. Your talents, +education, wealth, and high position in society, eminently +fit you for one of the highest dignities on earth." + +"A thousand thanks for the kindness of my lord Bishop," +said I; "but your reverence has not altered my mind in +the least. I can never bow down to the feet of any Lady +Superior, neither will I ever consent to see a single +human being degraded at my feet. The holy Bible says, +'Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt +thou serve.'" "Bible, my daughter!" exclaimed the priest, +"Where did you see that dangerous book? Know you not that +his holiness the Pope has placed it in the Index +Expurgatorius, because it has been the means of the +damnation of millions of souls? Not because it is in +itself a bad book, but because it is a theological work, +prepared only for the priests and ministers of our holy +religion. Therefore, it is always a very dangerous book +in the hands of women or laymen, who wrest the Scriptures +to their own destruction." + +"Well, reverend sir," I replied, "you seem determined to +differ from the Lord Jesus and his apostles. I read in +the New Testament that we should search the Scriptures +because they testify of Christ. And one of the apostles, +I don't remember which, said, 'all scripture is given by +the inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine +and for instruction in righteousness.' Now, reverend sir, +if the people have souls, as well as the priests, why +should they not read the word of God which speaks of +Christ and is profitable for instruction?" + +"You are almost a heretic!" exclaimed the priest, "and +you talk very much like one." His countenance changed to +a pale sickly hue, as he said, "My daughter, where did +you get that dangerous book? If you have, it in your +possession, give it to me, and I will bless you, and pray +for you to the blessed Madonna that she may save you from +the infernal pit of heresy." + +"I do not own the blessed book," said I, "but I wish I +did. I would give one hundred scudi in gold for a copy +of the New Testament. I borrowed a copy from a friend, +and returned it to the owner again. But I understand that +there are copies to be had in London, and when I have a +good opportunity I shall send for a copy, if I can do it +unbeknown to any one." + +"Enough, enough!" exclaimed the priest. "I shall be in +the tribunal of penance at six o'clock P.M.; there I +shall expect to meet you. You need pardon immediately, +and spiritual advice. Should you die as you now are +without absolution, you would be lost and damned forever. +I tremble for you, my dear daughter, seeing that the +devil has got such a powerful hold of you. It may even +be absolutely necessary to kill the body to save your +soul; for should you relapse again into heresy after due +penance for this crime has been performed, it would be +impossible to renew you again to repentance, seeing you +crucify the Lord and the Madonna afresh, and put them to +an open shame." + +Here my mother fainted and shook like an aspen leaf. +But God gave me strength, and I said in a moment that as +his reverence thought my sins so great, I would not go +to any man, no, not even to the Pope; I would go to God +alone, and leave my cause in his hands, life or death. +"Therefore, reverend sir, I shall save you from all +further trouble in attending the confessional any more +on my account. From henceforth no earthly power shall +drag me alive and with my consent to the tribunal of +penance." + +"Woman!" exclaimed the priest furiously, "are you mad? +There are ten thousand devils in you, and we must drive +them out by some means." After this discharge of priestly +venom, the priest left in a rage giving the door a terrible +slam, which awoke my mother from her sorrowful trance. +During the whole conversation, such was the electrical +power of the priest over my mother's weak and nervous +system, that if she attempted to say a word in my behalf, +the keen, snakish black eye of the priest would at once +make her tremble and quail before him, and the half +uttered word would remain silent on her lips. The priest +went at once in search of my father. He came home boiling +over with rage, saying he wished I had never been born. +He cursed the day of my birth. The cause of all this +paternal fury upon my poor devoted head was the foul +misrepresentations of my father confessor, who was now +in league with the Bishop, both determined to shut me up +in a prison convent, or end my mortal career. + +My poor mother remained mute and heart-broken. My sweet +mother; never did she utter one word of unkindness to +me; her very look to the last was one of gentleness and +love. But my father loved honor and reputation amongst +men above all other things. The idea of being the father +of an accursed heretic, tormented his pride, and he being +suspected of heresy himself caused him to be forsaken by +many of his proud friends and acquaintances. He was even +insulted in the streets by the numerous Lazaroni, with +the epithet of Maldito Corrobonari, so that I lost my +father's love. And when the confessor told him there was +no other way to save me from hell than an entire life of +penance in a convent, he heartily and freely gave his +consent. Mother, my own sweet mother, my only remaining +friend, turned as pale as death, but was enabled to say +a word in my behalf. + +I saw that my earthly doom was sealed; there was not a +single voice in all Naples to save me from imprisonment +for life. Not a tongue in four hundred thousand that +would dare speak one word in my behalf. Father commanded +me to get ready to leave his house forever that very +night, saying the carriage and confessor would be on hand +to take me away at eight o'clock P.M., by moonlight. I +got on my knees and begged my father as a last request +that he would allow me to remain three days with my +mother, but he refused. Said he, "That is now beyond my +power. Not an hour can you remain after eight o'clock." + +As I knew not when I should see my Tuscan friend again, +I begged the privilege of seeing her for a few moments. +I was anxious to ask her prayers and sympathy, and to +put her on her guard, for should the priests discover +her New Testament, they would punish her as they did me, +or as they intended to do to me. But this favor was denied +me, and I could not write to her, for all letters of the +scholars in the convents, are opened under the pretence +to prevent them from receiving love-letters. The Romish +church keeps all her dark plans a secret, but never allows +any secret to be kept from the priests. + +I went into my room to bid farewell to my home forever. +I fell on my knees and prayed to God for his dear Son's +sake to help me, to give me patience, and to keep me from +the sin of suicide. The more I thought of my utterly +unprotected situation and of the savage disposition of +my foes, the priests, the more I thought of the propriety +of taking my own life, rather than live in a dungeon all +my days. Such was the power of superstition over our +domestics that they looked upon me as one accursed of +the church, a Protestant heretic, and not one of them +would take my hand or bid me good bye. At tea-time I was +not allowed to sit at table with father, mother, and the +confessor, as formerly. But I had my supper sent up to +my room. + +A short time after the bell rang for vespers, the carriage +being ready, my father and the confessor with myself and +one small trunk got into the best seats inside, and rode +off at a rapid rate. I kept my veil over my face, and +said not a word neither did I shed a single tear; my +sorrow, and indignation was too deep for utterance or +even for tears. The priest and my father uttered not a +word. Perhaps my father's conscience made him ashamed +of such vile work--that of laying violent hands on a +defenceless girl of eighteen years of age, for no crime +whatever, only the love of liberty and pure Bible religion. +But if the priest was silent, his vile countenance +indicated a degree of hellish pleasure and satisfaction. +Never did piratical captain glory more in seeing a rich +prize along side with all hands killed and out of the +way, than my reverend confessor; yet a short time before +he said he loved me as a daughter. Yes, he did love me, +as the wolf loves the lamb, as the cat loves the mouse +and as the boa constrictor the beautiful gazelle. To my +momentary satisfaction we entered the big gate of St. +Ursula, for although I knew I should suffer there perhaps +even death, there was some satisfaction in seeing a few +faces that I had seen in my gay and happy days, now alas! +forever gone by! I was somewhat grieved by the cold +reception I received. All seemed to look upon me with +horror. But none of these things moved me; I looked to +God for strength, for I felt that He alone could nerve +me for the conflict. The hardest blow of all was, my dear +father left me at the mercy of the priest without one +kind look or word. He did not even shake hands with me, +nor did he say farewell. + +Oh Popery, what a mysterious power is thine! Thou canst +in a few hours destroy powerful love which it took long +years to cement in loving hearts. When my father had left +and I heard the porter lock the heavy iron gate I felt +an exquisite wretchedness come over me. I would have +given worlds for death at that moment. In a few moments +the priest rung a bell, and the old Jezebel the mother +Abbess made her appearance. "Take this heretic, Holy +Mother, and place her in confinement in the lower regions; +GIVE HER BREAD AND WATER ONCE IN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS, THE +WATER THAT YOU HAVE WASHED YOUR SACRED FEET IN, NO OTHER; +give her straw to sleep on, but no pillow. Take all her +clothing away and give her a coarse tunic; one single +coarse garment to cover her nakedness, but no shoes. She +has grievously sinned against the holy mother church, +and now she mercifully imposes upon her years of severe +penance, that her body of sin may be destroyed and her +soul saved after suffering one million of years in holy +purgatory. Our chief duty now, holy mother, in order to +save this lost soul from mortal sin will be to examine +her carefully every, day to ascertain if possible what +she most dislikes, or what is most revolting to her flesh, +that whatever it may be, she, must be compelled to perform +it whatever it may cost. Let a holy wax candle burn in +her cell at night, until further orders. And let the +Tuscan heretic be treated in the same way. They are both +guilty of the same crimes." At the word "Tuscan heretic," +possessing the spirit of Christ that I knew on earth. +Yet how true it is that misery loves company; there was +even satisfaction in being near my unfortunate friend +though our sufferings might be unutterable. Still I was +unhappy in the thought that she was suffering on my +account. Had I never said a word about borrowing a New +Testament, she would never have been suspected as being +the direct cause of my conversion to the truth, and of +my renunciation of the vile confessional. + +I was somewhat puzzled to know what kind of a place was +meant by the lower regions; I had never heard of these +regions before. But soon two women in black habits with +their faces entirely covered excepting two small holes +for the eyes to peep through, came to me and without +speaking, made signs for me to follow them. I did so +without resistance, and soon found myself in an under-ground +story of the infernal building. "There is your cell," +said the cowled inquisitors, "look all around, see every +thing, but speak not; no not for your life. The softest +whisper will immediately reach the ears of the Mother +Abbess, and then you are loaded with heavy chains until +you die, for there must be no talking or whispering in +this holy retreat of penance. And," said my jailor further, +"take off your clothes, shoes and stockings, and put on +this holy coarse garment which will chafe thy flesh but +will bless thy soul. Holy St. Francis saved many souls +by this holy garment." + +As resistance was worse than useless, I complied, and +soon found my poor feet aching with the cold on the bare +stone floor. I was soon made to feel the blessing of St. +Francis with a vengeance. My sufferings were indescribable. +It seemed as though ten thousand bees had stung me in +every part. I never closed my eyes for several nights. +I laid on my coarse straw and groaned and sighed for +death to come and relieve me of my anguish. As soon as +the holy wax candle was left with me I took it in my hand +and went forth to survey my dungeon; but I did not enjoy +my ramble. In one of the cells, I found my Tuscan +friend--that dear Christian sister--in great agony, having +had on the accursed garment for several days. Her body +was one entire blister, and very much inflamed. Her bones +were racked with pain, as with the most excruciating +inflammatory rheumatism. We recognized each other; she +pointed to heaven as if to say 'trust in the Lord, my +sister, our sufferings will soon be over.' I kissed my +hand to her and returned again to my cell. I saw other +victims half dead and emaciated that made my heart sick. +I refrained from speaking to any one for I feared my +condition, wretched as it was, might be rendered even +worse, if possible by the fiends who had entire power +over me. "O my God!" said I to myself, "why was I born? +O give my soul patience to suffer every pain." + +On the fourth day of my imprisonment the jailor brought +me some water and soap, a towel, brush and comb, and the +same clothes I wore when I entered the foul den. They +told me to make haste and prepare myself to appear before +the holy Bishop. Hope revived in my soul, for I always +thought that my god-father had some regard for me, and +had now come to release me from the foul den I was in. +Cold water seemed to afford much relief to my tortured +body. I made my toilet as quick as I could in such a +place. My feet were so numb and swollen that it was +difficult for me to get my shoes on. At last the Bishop +arrived as I supposed, and I was conducted--not into +his presence as I expected, but into that of my bitterest +enemy, the confessor. At the very sight of the monster, +I trembled like a reed shaken by the wind. The priest +walked to each of the doors, locked them, put the keys +into a small writing desk, locked it, took out the key +and placed it carefully in his sleeve pocket. This he +did to assure me that we were alone, that not one of the +inmates could by any means disturb for the present the +holy meditations of the priest. He bade me take a seat +on the sofa by him. In kind soft words he said to me, +that if I was only docile and obedient, he would cause +me to be treated like a princess, and that in a short +time I should have my liberty if I preferred to return +to the world. At the same time he attempted to put his +arm around my waist. In a moment I was on my feet. While +he was talking love to me, I was looking at two large +alabaster vases full of beautiful wax flowers; one of +them was as much as I could lift. Without one thought +about consequences, I seized the nearest vase and threw +it with all the strength I had at the priest's head. He +fell like a log and uttered one or two groans. The vase +was broken. It struck the priest on the right temple, +close to the ear. For a moment I listened to see if any +one were coming. I then looked at the priest, and saw +the blood running out of his wound. I quaked with fear +lest I had killed the destroyer of my peace. I did not +intend to kill him, I only wished to stun him, that I +might take the keys, open the door and run, for the back +door of the priest's room led right into a back path +where the gates were frequently opened daring the day +time. This was about twelve o'clock, and a most favorable +moment for me to escape. In a moment I had searched the +sleeve pocket of the priest, found the key and a heavy +purse of gold which I secured in my dress pocket. I opened +the little writing desk and took out the key to the back +door. I saw that the priest was not dead, and I had not +the least doubt from appearances, but that he would soon +come to. I trembled for fear he might wake before I could +get away. I thought of my dear Tuscan sister in her +wretched cell, but I could not get to her without being +discovered. There was no time to be lost. I opened the +door with the greatest facility and gained the opening +into the back path. I locked the door after me, and +brought the key with me for a short distance, then placed +all the keys tinder a rock. I had no hat but only a +black veil. I threw that over my head after the fashion +of Italy and gained the outer gate. There were masons +at work near the gate which was open and I passed through +into the street without being questioned by any one. + +As I had not a nun's dress on, no one supposed I belonged +to the Institution. I walked down directly to the sea +coast. I could speak a few English words which I had +learned from some English friends of my father. Before +I got to where the boats lay I saw a gentleman whom I +took to be an English or American gentleman. He had a +pleasant face, looked at me very kindly, saw my pale +dejected face and at once felt a deep sympathy for me. +As I appeared to be in trouble and needed help, he extended +his hand to me and said in tolerable good Italian, "Como +va' le' signorina?" that is "How do you do young lady?" +I asked him what was his country. "Me," said he, "Americano, +Americano, capitano de Bastimento." (American captain of +a ship.) "Signor Capitano," said I, "I wish to go on +board your ship and see an American ship." "Well," said +he, "with a great deal of pleasure; my ship lies at +anchor, my men are waiting; you shall dine with me, +Signorina." + +I praised God in my soul for this merciful providence of +meeting a friend, though a stranger, whose face seemed +to me so honest and so true. Any condition, even honest +slavery, would have been preferred by me at that time to +a convent. The American ship was the most beautiful thing +I ever saw afloat; splendid and neat in all her cabin +arrangements. The mates were polite, and the sailors +appeared neat and happy. Even the black cook showed his +beautiful white teeth, as though he was glad to see one +of the ladies of Italy. Poor fellows! Little did they +know at that time what peril I was in should I be found +out and taken back to my dungeon again. I informed the +captain of my situation, of having just escaped from a +convent into which I had been forced against my will. I +told him I would pay him my passage to America, if he +would hide me somewhere until the ship was well out to +sea. He said I had come just in time, for he was only +waiting for a fair wind, and hoped to be off that evening. +"I have," said he, "a large number of bread-casks on +board, and two are empty. I shall have you put into one +of these, in which I shall make augur-holes, so that you +can have plenty of fresh air. Down in the hold amongst +the provisions you will be safe." I thanked my kind friend +and requested him to buy me some needles, silk, and cotton +thread, and some stuff for a couple of dresses, and +one-piece of fine cotton, so that I might make myself +comfortable during the voyage. + +After I ate my dinner, the men called the captain and +said there were several boats full of soldiers coming to +the ship, accompanied by the priests. "Lady," exclaimed +the captain, "they are after you. There is not a moment +to be lost. Follow me," he continued. "And, Mr. Smith, +tell the men to be careful and not make known that there +is a lady on board." + +An awful cold chill ran over me. I followed my friend +quickly, and soon found myself coiled in a large cask. +The captain coopered the head, which was missing, and +made holes for me to get the air; but the perspiration +ran off my face in a stream. Lots of things were piled +on the cask, so that I had hard work to breathe; but such +was my fear of the priests that I would rather have +perished in the cask than be returned to die by inches. + +The captain had been gone but a short time when I heard +steps on deck, and much noise and confusion. As the +hatches were open, I could hear very distinctly. After +the whole company were on deck, the captain invited the +priests and friars, about twenty in number, to walk down +to the cabin, and explain the cause of their visit. They +talked through an interpreter, and said that "a woman of +bad character had robbed one of the churches of a large +amount of gold, had attempted to murder one of the holy +priests, but they were happy to say that the holy father, +though badly wounded, was in a fair way of recovery. +This woman is young, but very desperate, has awful raving +fits, and has recently escaped from a lunatic institution. +When her fits of madness come on they are obliged to put +her into a straight jacket, for she is the most dangerous +person in Italy. A great reward is offered for her by +her father and the government--five thousand scudi. Is +not this enough to tempt one to help find her? She was +seen coming towards the shipping, and we want the privilege +of searching your ship." + +"Gentlemen," said the captain, "I do not know that the +Italian authorities have any right to search an American +ship, under the stars and stripes of the United States, +for we do not allow even the greatest naval power on +earth to do that thing. But if such a mad and dangerous +woman as you have described should by any means have +smuggled herself on board my ship, you are quite welcome +to take her away as soon as possible, for I should be +afraid of my life if I was within one hundred yards of +such an unfortunate creature. If you can get her into +your lunatic asylum, the quicker the better; and the five +thousand scudi will come in good time, for I am thinking +of building me a larger ship on my return home. Now, +gentlemen, come; I will assist you, for I should like to +see the gold in my pocket." The captain opened all his +closets and secret places, in the cabin and forecastle +and in the hold; everything was searched, all but the +identical bread-cask in which I was snugly coiled. + +After something like half an hour's search, the soldiers +of King Ferdinand and the priests of King Pope left the +ship, satisfied that the crazy nun was not on board; for, +judging the captain by themselves, they thought he +certainly would have given up a mad woman for the sake +of five thousand scudi in gold, and for the safety of +his own peace and comfort. A few moments after the Pope's +friends had left, the excellent benevolent captain came +down, and speedily and gently knocking off a few hoops +with a hammer, took the head out, and I was free once +more to breathe God's free air. I lifted my trembling +heart in thanksgiving, while tears of gratitude rolled +down my cheeks. Yet, as we were still within the reach +of the guns of the papal forts, my heart was by no means +at rest. But the good captain assured me repeatedly that +all danger was past, for he had twenty-five men on board, +all true Protestants, and he declared that all the priests +of Naples would walk over their dead bodies before they +should reach his vessel a second time. "And besides," +said the captain, "there are two American men-of-war in +port, who will stand up for the rights of Americans. They +have not yet forgotten Captain Ingraham, of the United +States ship St. Louis, and his rescue from the Austrian +papists of the Hungarian patriot, Martin Kozsta." The +captain wisely refused to purchase any needles or thread +for me on shore, or any articles of ladies' dress, for +fear of the Jesuitical spies, who might surmise something +and cause further trouble. But he kindly furnished me +with some goods he had purchased for his own wife, and +there were needles and silk enough on board, so that I +soon cut and made a few articles that made me very +comfortable during our voyage of thirty-two days to +London. + +Early the next morning we sailed out of the beautiful +harbor of Naples, with a fair wind. The beautiful ship +seemed to fly over the blue sea. I staid on deck gazing +at my native city as long as I could. I thought then of +my once happy home, of my poor, broken-hearted mother, +of my unhappy father. Although he had cast me off through +the foul play of Jesuitical intrigue, my love for my dear +father remained the same. "Farewell, my dear Italy," I +said to myself. "When, my poor native land, wilt thou be +happy? Never, never, so long as the Pope lives, and his +wicked, murderous priests, to curse thee by their power." + +After we got out into the open sea, the motion of the +ship made me feel very sick, and I was so starved out +before I came on board, that what good provisions I ate +on board did not seem to agree with me. My stomach was +in a very bad state, for while I was in the lower regions +of the convent I ate only a small quantity of very stale +hard bread once in twenty-four hours, at the ringing of +the vesper bells every evening, and the water given me +was that in which the holy Mother Abbess had washed her +sacred feet. But I must give the holy mother credit for +one good omission--she did not use any soap. + +The captain gave me a good state-room which I occupied +with an English lady passenger. This good lady was +accustomed to the sea, therefore, she did not suffer any +inconvenience from sea-sickness; but I was very sick, so +that I kept my berth for five days. This good Protestant +lady was very kind and attentive during the whole passage, +and kindly assisted me in getting my garments made up on +board. On our arrival in London, the captain said that he +would sail for America in two weeks time, and very kindly +offered me a free passage to his happy, native land; and +I could not persuade him to take any money for my passage +from Naples, nor for the clothing he had given me. + +My fellow passenger being wealthy, and well acquainted +with people in England, took me to her splendid home, a +few miles from London. At her residence I was introduced +to a young French gentleman, a member of the Evangelical +protestant church in France, and a descendant of the +pious persecuted Huguenots. This gentleman speaks good +English and Italian, having enjoyed the privilege of a +superior education. His fervent prayers at the family +altar morning and evening made a very deep impression on +my mind. He became deeply interested in my history, and +offered to take me to France, after I should become his +lawful wife. + +Though I did not like the idea of choosing another popish +country for my residence, yet as my friend assured me +that I should enjoy my protestant religion unmolested, +I gave him my hand and my heart. My lady fellow passenger +was my bridesmaid. We were married by a good protestant +minister. My husband is a wealthy merchant--gives me +means and opportunities for doing good. Home is precious +in a foreign land. Our home is one of piety and peace +and happiness. The blessed Bible is read by us every day. +Morning and evening we sing God's praise, and call upon +the name of the Lord. Our prayer is that God may deliver +beloved France and Italy from the curse of popery. + +Another proof of the persecuting spirit of Rome is +furnished by the "Narrative of Raffaele Ciocci, formerly +a Benedictine Monk, but who now 'comes forth from +Inquisitorial search and torture, and tells us what he +has seen, heard and felt.'" We can make but a few extracts +from this interesting little volume, published by the +American and Foreign Christian Union, who,--to use their +own language--"send it forth as a voice of instruction +and warning to the American people. Let the facts be +heard and read. They are not to be set aside by an apology +for the dark ages, nor an appeal to the refinement of +the nineteenth century. Here is Rome, not as she WAS in +the midnight of the world, but as she IS at the present +moment. There is the same opposition to private judgment +--the same coercive measures--the same cruel persecution-- +the same efforts to crush the civil and religious liberties +of her own subjects, for which she has ever been +characterized." + +Ciocci, compelled at an early age to enter the Catholic +College--forced, notwithstanding his deep disgust and +earnest remonstrance, to become a monk--imprisoned-- +deceived--the victim of priestly artifice and fraud, at +length becomes a Christian. He is of course thrown into +a deeper dungeon; and more exquisite anguish inflicted +upon him that he may be constrained to return to the +Romish faith. Of his imprisonment he says, "We traversed +long corridors till we arrived at the door of an apartment +which they requested me to enter, and they themselves +retired. On opening the door I found myself in a close +dark room, barely large enough for the little furniture +it contained, which consisted of a small hard bed, hard +as the conscience of an inquisitor, a little table cut +all over, and a dirty ill-used chair. The window which +was shut and barred with iron resisted all my efforts to +open it My heart sunk within me, and I began to cogitate +on the destiny in store for me." The Jesuit Giuliani +entering his room, he asked that the window might be +opened for the admission of light and air. Before the +words were finished he exclaimed in a voice of thunder, +"How! wretched youth, thou complainest of the dark, whilst +thou art living in the clouds of error? Dost thou desire +the light of heaven, while thou rejectest the light of +the Catholic faith?" + +Ciocci saw that remonstrance was useless, but he reminded +his jailer that he had been sent there for three days, +to receive instruction, not to be treated as a criminal. + +"For three days," he resumed, counterfeiting my tone of +voice, "for three days! That would be nothing. The dainty +youth will not forsooth, be roughly treated; it remains +to be seen whether he desires to be courteously entertained. +Be converted, be converted, condemned soul! Fortunate is +it for thee that thou art come to this place. THOU WILT +NEVER quit it excepting with the real fruits of repentance! +Among these silent shades canst thou meditate at thy +leisure upon the deplorable state into which thou hast +fallen. Woe unto thee, if thou refusest to listen to the +voice of God, who conducts souls into solitude that he +may speak with them." "So saying," he continues, "he +abruptly left me. I remained alone drooping under the +weight of a misfortune, which was the more severe, because +totally unexpected. I stood, I know not how long, in the +same position, but on recovering from this lethargy, my +first idea was of flight. But this thought was at once +abandoned. There was no possibility of flight. Without +giving a minute account of the manner in which I passed +my wearisome days and nights in this prison, let it +suffice to say that they were spent in listening to +sermons preached to me four times a day by the fathers +Giuliani and Rossini, and in the most gloomy reflections. + +"In the mean time the miseries I endured were aggravated +by the heat of the season, the wretchedness of the chamber, +scantiness of food, and the rough severity of those by +whom I was occasionally visited. Uncertainty as to when +this imprisonment would be at an end, almost drove me +wild, and the first words I addressed to those who +approached me were, 'Have the kindness to tell me when +I shall be permitted to leave this place?' One replied, +'My son, think of hell.' I interrogated another; the +answer was, 'Think my son, how terrible is the death of +the sinner!' I spoke to a third, to a fourth, and one +said to me, 'My son, what will be your feeling, if, on +the day of judgment you find yourself on the left hand +of God?' the other, 'Paradise, my son, Paradise!' No one +gave me a direct answer; their object appeared to be to +mistify and confound me. After the first few days, I +began to feel most severely the want of a change of +clothing. Accustomed to cleanliness, I found myself +constrained to wear soiled apparel. * * * For the want +of a comb, my hair became rough and entangled. After the +fourth day my portion of food was diminished; a sign, +that they were pressing the siege, that it was their +intention to adopt both assault and blockade--to conquer +me by arms, or induce me to capitulate through hunger. +I had been shut up in this wretched place for thirteen +days, when, one day, about noon, the Father Mislei, the +author of all my misery, entered my cell. + +"At the sight of this man, resentment overcame every +other consideration, and I advanced towards him fully +prepared to indulge my feelings, when he, with his usual +smile, expressed in bland words his deep regret at having +been the cause of my long detention in this retreat. +'Never could I have supposed,' said he, 'that my anxiety +for the salvation of your soul would have brought you +into so much tribulation. But rest assured the fault is +not entirely mine. You have yourself, in a great degree, +by your useless obstinacy, been the cause of your +sufferings. Ah, well, we will yet remedy all.' Not +feeling any confidence in his assurance, I burst out into +bitter invectives and fierce words. He then renewed his +protestations, and clothed them with such a semblance of +honesty and truth, that when he ended with this tender +conclusion, 'Be assured, my son, that I love you,' my +anger vanished. * * * +I lost sight of the Jesuit, and thought I was addressing +a man, a being capable of sympathising in the distresses +of others. 'Ah, well, father,' said I, 'I need some one +on whom I can rely, some one towards whom I can feel +kindly; I will therefore place confidence in your words.'" +After some further conversation, Ciocci was asked if he +wished to leave that place. "If I desire it!" he replied, +"what a strange question! You might as well ask a condemned +soul whether he desires to escape from hell!" At these +words the Jesuit started like a goaded animal, and, +forgetting his mission of deceiver, with, knit brows and +compressed lips, he allowed his ferocious soul for one +moment to appear; but, having grown old in deceit, he +immediately had the circumspection to give this movement +of rage the appearance of religious zeal, and exclaimed, +"What comparisons are these? Are you not ashamed to assume +the language of the Atheist? By speaking in this way you +clearly manifest how little you deserve to leave this +place. But since I have told you that I love you, I will +give you a proof of it by thinking no more of those +irreligious expressions; they shall be forgotten as though +they had never been spoken. Well, the Cardinal proposes +to you an easy way of returning to your monastery." "What +does be propose?" "Here is the way," said he, presenting +me with a paper: "copy this with your own hand; nothing +more will be required of you." "I took the paper with +convulsive eagerness. It was a recantation of my faith, +there condemned as erroneous. * * * +Upon reading this, I shuddered, and, starting to my feet, +in a solemn attitude and with a firm voice, exclaimed, +'Kill me, if you please; my life is in your power; but +never will I subscribe to that iniquitous formulary.' +The Jesuit, after laboring in vain to persuade me to his +wishes, went away in anger. I now momentarily expected +to be conducted to the torture. Whenever I was taken from +my room to the chapel, I feared lest some trap-door should +open beneath my feet, and therefore took great care to +tread in the footsteps of the Jesuit who preceded me. No +one acquainted with the Inquisition will say that my +precaution was needless. My imagination was so filled +with the horrors of this place, that even in my short, +interrupted, and feverish dreams I beheld daggers and +axes glittering around me; I heard the noise of wheels, +saw burning piles and heated irons, and woke in convulsive +terror, only to give myself up to gloomy reflections, +inspired by the reality of my situation, and the impressions +left by these nocturnal visions. What tears did I shed +in those dreary moments! How innumerable were the bitter +wounds that lacerated my heart! My prayers seemed to me +unworthy to be received by a God of charity, because, +notwithstanding all my efforts to banish from my soul +every feeling of resentment towards my persecutors, hatred +returned with redoubled power. I often repeated the words +of Christ, 'Father, forgive them, they know not what they +do;' but immediately a voice would answer, 'This prayer +is not intended for the Jesuits; they resemble not the +crucifiers, who were blind instruments of the rage of +the Jews; while these men are fully conscious of what +they are doing; they are the modern Pharisees.' The +reading of the Bible would have afforded me great +consolation, but this was denied me." * * * + +The fourteenth day of his imprisonment he was taken to +the council to hear his sentence, when he was again urged +to sign the form of recantation. But he refused. The +Father Rossini then spoke: "Yon are decided; let it be, +then, as you deserve. Rebellious son of the church, in +the fullness of the power which she has received from +Christ, you shall feel the holy rigor of her laws. She +cannot permit tares to grow with the good seed. She cannot +suffer you to remain among her sons and become the +stumbling-block for the ruin of many. Abandon, therefore, +all hope of leaving this place, and of returning to dwell +among the faithful. KNOW, ALL IS FINISHED FOR YOU!" + +For the conclusion of this narrative we refer the reader +to the volume itself. + +If any more evidence were needed to show that the spirit +of Romanism is the same to-day that it has ever been, we +find it in the account of a legal prosecution against +ten Christians at Beldac, in France, for holding and +attending a public worship not licensed by the civil +authority. They had made repeated, respectful, and earnest +applications to the prefect of the department of +Hante-Vienne for the authorization required by law, and +which, in their case, ought to have been given. It was +flatly refused. They persisted in rendering to God that +worship which his own command and their consciences +required. For this they were arraigned as above stated, +on the 10th of August, 1855. On the 26th of January, +1856, the case was decided by the "tribunal," and the +three pastors and one lady, a schoolmistress, were +condemned to pay a fine of one thousand francs each, and +some of the others five-hundred francs each, the whole +amount, together with legal expenditures, exceeding the +sum of nine thousand francs. + +Meantime, the converts continue to hold their +worship-meetings in the woods, barns, and secret places, +in order not to be surprised by the police commissioner, +and to avoid new official reports. + +"Thus, you see," says V. De Pressense, in a letter to +the 'American and foreign Christian Union,' "that we are +brought back to the religious meetings of the desert, +when the Protestants of the Cevennes evinced such +persevering fidelity. The only difference is, that these +Christians belonged only a short time ago to that church +which is now instigating persecutions against them." + + +DESTRUCTION OF THE INQUISITION IN SPAIN. + +In 1809, Col. Lehmanowsky was attached to the part of +Napoleon's army which was stationed in Madrid. "While +in that city," said Col. L., "I used to speak freely +among the people what I thought of the Priests and Jesuits, +and of the Inquisition. It had been decreed by the Emperor +Napoleon that the Inquisition and the Monasteries should +be suppressed, but the decree, he said, like some of the +laws enacted in this country, was not executed." + +Months had passed away, and the prisons of the Inquisition +had not been opened. One night, about ten or eleven +o'clock, as he was walking one of the streets of Madrid, +two armed men sprang upon him from an alley, and made a +furious attack. He instantly drew his sword, put himself +in a posture of defence, and while struggling with them, +he saw at a distance the lights of the patrols,--French +soldiers mounted, who carried lanterns, and who rode +through the streets of the city at all hours of the night, +to preserve order. He called to them in French, and as +they hastened to his assistance, the assailants took to +their heels and escaped; not, however, before he saw by +their dress that they belonged to the guards of the +Inquisition. + +He went immediately to Marshal Soult, then Governor of +Madrid, told him what had taken place, and reminded him +of the decree to suppress this institution. Marshal Soult +told him that he might go and suppress it The Colonel +said that his regiment (the 9th. of the Polish Lancers,) +was not sufficient for such a service, but if he would +give him two additional regiments, the 117th, and another +which he named, he would undertake the work. The 117th +regiment was under the command of Col. De Lile, who is +now, like Col. L., a minister of the gospel, and pastor +of an evangelical church in Marseilles, France. "The +troops required were granted, and I proceeded," said Col. +L., "to the Inquisition which was situated about five +miles from the city. It was surrounded by a wall of great +strength, and defended by a company of soldiers. When +we arrived at the walls, I addressed one of the sentinels, +and summoned the holy fathers to surrender to the Imperial +army, and open the gates of the Inquisition. The sentinel +who was standing on the wall, appeared to enter into +conversation with some one within, at the close of which +he presented his musket, and shot one of my men. This +was the signal of attack, and I ordered my troops to fire +upon those who appeared on the walls." + +It was soon obvious that it was an unequal warfare. The +soldiers of the holy office were partially protected by +a breast-work upon the walls which were covered with +soldiers, while our troops were in the open plain, and +exposed to a destructive fire. We had no cannon, nor +could we scale the walls, and the gates successfully +resisted all attempts at forcing them. I could not retire +and send for cannon to break through the walls without +giving them time to lay a train for blowing us up. I saw +that it was necessary to change the mode of attack, and +directed some trees to be cut down and trimmed, to be +used as battering rams. Two of these were taken up by +detachments of men, as numerous as could work to advantage, +and brought to bear upon the walls with all the power +they could exert, while the troops kept up a fire to +protect them from the fire poured upon them from the +walls. Presently the walls began to tremble, a breach +was made, and the Imperial troops rushed into the +Inquisition. Here we met with an incident, which nothing +but Jesuitical effrontery is equal to. The Inquisitor +General, followed by the father confessors in their +priestly robes, all came out of their rooms, as we were +making our way into the interior of the Inquisition, and +with long faces, and arms crossed over their breasts, +their fingers resting on their shoulders, as though they +had been deaf to all the noise of the attack and defence, +and had just learned what was going on, they addressed +themselves in the language of rebuke to their own soldiers, +saying, "WHY DO YOU FIGHT OUR FRIENDS, THE FRENCH?" + +Their intention, no doubt, was to make us think that this +defence was wholly unauthorized by them, hoping, if they +could make us believe that they were friendly, they should +have a better opportunity, in the confusion of the moment, +to escape. Their artifice was too shallow, and did not +succeed. I caused them to be placed under guard, and all +the soldiers of the Inquisition to be secured as prisoners. +We then proceeded to examine all the rooms of the stately +edifice. We passed through room after room; found all +perfectly in order, richly furnished, with altars and +crucifixes, and wax candles in abundance, but we could +discover no evidences of iniquity being practiced there, +nothing of those peculiar features which we expected to +find in an Inquisition. We found splendid paintings, and +a rich and extensive library. Here was beauty and splendor, +and the most perfect order on which my eyes had ever +rested. The architecture, the proportions were perfect. +The ceilings and floors of wood were scoured and highly +polished. The marble floors were arranged with a strict +regard to order. There was everything to please the eye +and gratify a cultivated taste; but where were those +horrid instruments of torture, of which we had been told, +and. where those dungeons in which human beings were said +to be buried alive? We searched in vain. The holy father +assured us that they had been belied; that we had seen +all; and I was prepared to give up the search, convinced +that this Inquisition was different from others of which +I had heard. + +But Col. De Idle was not so ready as myself to give up +the search, and said to me, "Colonel, you are commander +to-day, and as you say, so it must be; but if you will +be advised by me, let this marble floor be examined. Let +water be brought and poured upon it, and we will watch +and see if there is any place through which it passes +more freely than others." I replied to him, "Do as you +please, Colonel," and ordered water to be brought +accordingly. The slabs of marble were large and beautifully +polished. When the water had been poured over the floor, +much to the dissatisfaction of the inquisitors, a careful +examination was made of every seam in the floor, to see +if the water passed through. Presently Col. De Lile +exclaimed that he had found it. By the side of one of +these marble slabs the water passed through fast, as +though there was an opening beneath. All hands were now +at work for further discovery; the officers with their +swords and the soldiers with their bayonets, seeking to +clear out the seam, and pry up the slab; others with the +butts of their muskets striking the slab with all their +might to break it, while the priests remonstrated against +our desecrating their holy and beautiful house. While +thus engaged, a soldier, who was striking with the butt +of his musket, struck a spring, and the marble slab flew +up. Then the faces of the inquisitors grew pale as +Belshazzar when the hand writing appeared on the wall; +they trembled all over; beneath the marble slab, now +partly up, there was a stair-case. I stepped to the altar, +and took from the candlestick one of the candles four +feet in length, which was burning that I might explore +the room below. As I was doing this, I was arrested by +one of the inquisitors, who laid his hand gently on my +arm, and with a very demure and holy look said "My son, +you must not take those lights with your bloody hands +they are holy." "Well," said I, "I will take a holy thing +to shed light on iniquity; I will bear the responsibility." +I took the candle, and proceeded down the stair-case. As +we reached the foot of the stairs we entered a large room +which was called the hall of judgment. In the centre of +it was a large block, and a chain fastened to it. On this +they were accustomed to place the accused, chained to +his seat. On one side of the room was an elevated seat +called the Throne of Judgment. This, the Inquisitor +General occupied, and on either side were seats less +elevated, for the holy fathers when engaged in the solemn +business of the Holy Inquisition. + +From this room we proceeded to the right, and obtained +access to small cells extending the entire length of the +edifice; and here such sights were presented as we hoped +never to see again. Three cells were places of solitary +confinement, where the wretched objects of inquisitorial +hate were confined year after year, till death released +them from their sufferings, and their bodies were suffered +to remain until they were entirely decayed, and the rooms +had become fit for others to occupy. To prevent this +being offensive to those who occupied the Inquisition, +there were flues or tubes extending to the open air, +sufficiently capacious to carry off the odor. In these +cells we found the remains of some who had paid the debt +of nature: some of them had been dead apparently but a +short time, while of others nothing remained but their +bones, still chained to the floor of their dungeon. + +In others we found living sufferers of both sexes and of +every age, from three score years and ten down to fourteen +or fifteen years--all naked as they were born into the +world! And all in chains! Here were old men and aged +women, who had been shut up for many years. Here, too, +were the middle aged, and the young man and the maiden +of fourteen years old. The soldiers immediately went to +work to release the captives from their chains, and took +from their knapsacks their overcoats and other clothing, +which they gave to cover their nakedness. They were +exceedingly anxious to bring them out to the light of +day; but Col. L., aware of the danger, had food given +them, and then brought them gradually to the light, as +they were able to bear it. + +We then proceeded, said Col. L., to explore another room +on the left. Here we found the instruments of torture, +of every kind which the ingenuity of men or devils could +invent. Col. L., here described four of these horrid +instruments. The first was a machine by which the victim +was confined, and then, beginning with the fingers, every +joint in the hands, arms and body, were broken or drawn +one after another, until the victim died. The second was +a box, in which the head and neck of the victim were so +closely confined by a screw that he could not move in +any way. Over the box was a vessel, from which one drop +of water a second, fell upon the head of the victim; +--every successive drop falling upon precisely the same +place on the head, suspended the circulation in a few +moments, and put the sufferer in the most excruciating +agony. The third was an infernal machine, laid horizontally, +to which the victim was bound; the machine then being +placed between two beams, in which were scores of knives +so fixed that, by turning the machine with a crank, the +flesh of the sufferer was torn from his limbs, all in +small pieces. The fourth surpassed the others in fiendish +ingenuity. Its exterior was a beautiful woman, or large +doll, richly dressed, with arms extended, ready, to +embrace its victim. Around her feet a semi-circle was +drawn. The victim who passed over this fatal mark, +touched a spring which caused the diabolical engine to +open; its arms clasped him, and a thousand knives cut +him into as many pieces in the deadly embrace. Col. L., +said that the sight of these engines of infernal cruelty +kindled the rage of the soldiers to fury. They declared +that every inquisitor and soldier of the inquisition +should be put to the torture. Their rage was ungovernable. +Col. L., did not oppose them. They might have turned +their arms against him if he had attempted to arrest +their work. They began with the holy fathers. The first +they put to death in the machine for breaking joints. +The torture of the inquisitor put to death by the dropping +of water on his head was most excruciating. The poor man +cried out in agony to be taken from the fatal machine. +The inquisitor general was brought before the infernal +engine called "The Virgin." He begged to be excused. "No" +said they, "you have caused others to kiss her, and now +you must do it." They interlocked their bayonets so as +to form large forks, and with these pushed him over the +deadly circle. The beautiful image instantly prepared +for the embrace, clasped him in its arms, and he was cut +into innumerable pieces. Col. L. said, he witnessed the +torture of four of them--his heart sickened at the awful +scene--and he left the soldiers to wreak their vengeance +on the last guilty inmate of that prison-house of hell. + +In the mean time it was reported through Madrid that the +prisons of the Inquisition were broken open, and multitudes +hastened to the fatal spot. And, Oh, what a meeting was +there! It was like a resurrection! About a hundred who +had been buried for many years were now restored to life. +There were fathers who had found their long lost daughters; +wives were restored to their husbands, sisters to their +brothers, parents to their children; and there were some +who could recognize no friend among the multitude. The +scene was such as no tongue can describe. + +When the multitude had retired, Col. L. caused the library, +paintings, furniture, etc., to be removed, and having +sent to the city for a wagon load of powder, he deposited +a large quantity in the vaults beneath the building, and +placed a slow match in connection with it. All had +withdrawn to a distance, and in a few moments there was +a most joyful sight to thousands. The walls and turrets +of the massive structure rose majestically towards the +heavens, impelled by the tremendous explosion, and fell +back to the earth an immense heap of ruins. The Inquisition +was no more! + +Such is the account given by Col. Lehmanowsky of the +destruction of the inquisition in Spain. Was it then +finally destroyed, never again to be revived? Listen to +the testimony of the Rev. Giacinto Achilli, D. D. Surely, +his statements in this respect can be relied upon, for +he is himself a convert from Romanism, and was formerly +the "Head Professor of Theology, and Vicar of the Master +of the Sacred Apostolic Palace." + +He certainly had every opportunity to obtain correct +information on the subject, and in a book published by +him in 1851, entitled "Dealings with the Inquisition," +we find, (page 71) the following startling announcement. +"We are now in the middle of the nineteenth century, and +still the Inquisition is actually and potentially in +existence. This disgrace to humanity, whose entire +history is a mass of atrocious crimes, committed by the +priests of the Church of Rome, in the name of God and of +His Christ, whose vicar and representative, the pope, +the head of the Inquisition, declares himself to be,--this +abominable institution is still in existence in Rome and +in the Roman States." + +Again, (page 89) he says, "And this most infamous +Inquisition, a hundred times destroyed and as often +renewed, still exists in Rome as in the barbarous ages; +the only difference being that the same iniquities are +at present practiced there with a little more secrecy +and caution than formerly, and this for the sake of +prudence, that the Holy See may not be subjected to the +animadversions of the world at large." + +On page 82 of the same work we find the following language. +"I do not propose to myself to speak of the Inquisition +of times past, but of what exists in Rome at the present +moment; I shall therefore assert that the laws of this +institution being in no respect changed, neither can the +institution itself be said to have undergone any alteration. +The present race of priests who are now in power are too +much afraid of the popular indignation to let loose all +their inquisitorial fury, which might even occasion a +revolt if they were not to restrain it; the whole world, +moreover, would cry out against them, a crusade would be +raised against the Inquisition, and, for a little temporary +gratification, much power would be endangered. This is +the true reason why the severity of its penalties is in +some degree relaxed at the present time, but they still +remain unaltered in its code." + +Again on page 102, he says, "Are the torments which are +employed at the present day at the Inquisition all a +fiction? It requires the impudence of an inquisitor, or +of the Archbishop of Westminister to deny their existence. +I have myself heard these evil-minded persons lament and +complain that their victims were treated with too much +lenity. + +"What is it you desire?" I inquired of the inquisitor of +Spoleto. "That which St. Thomas Aquinas says," answered +he; "DEATH TO ALL THE HERETICS." + +"Hand over, then, to one of these people, a person, +however respectable; give him up to one of the inquisitors, +(he who quoted St. Thomas Aquinas to me was made an +Archbishop)--give up, I say, the present Archbishop of +Canterbury, an amiable and pious man, to one of these +rabid inquisitors; he must either deny his faith or be +burned alive. Is my statement false? Am I doting? Is not +this the spirit that invariably actuates the inquisitors? +and not the inquisitors only, but all those who in any +way defile themselves with the inquisition, such as +bishops and their vicars, and all those who defend it, +as the papists do. There is the renowned Dr. Wiseman, +the Archbishop of Westminster according to the pope's +creation, the same who has had the assurance to censure +me from his pulpit, and to publish an infamous article +in the Dublin Review, in which he has raked together, as +on a dunghill, every species of filth from the sons of +Ignatius Loyola; and there is no lie or calumny that he +has not made use of against me. Well, then, suppose I +were to be handed over to the tender mercy of Dr. Wiseman, +and he had the full power to dispose of me as he chose, +without fear of losing his character in the eyes of the +nation to which, by parentage more than by merit, he +belongs, what do you imagine he would do with me? Should +I not have to undergo some death more terrible than +ordinary? Would not a council be held with the reverend +fathers of the company of Loyola, the same who have +suggested the abominable calumnies above alluded to, in +order to invent some refined method of putting me out of +the world? I feel persuaded that if I were condemned by +the Inquisition to be burned alive, my calumniator would +have great pleasure in building my funeral pile, and +setting fire to it with his own hands; or should +strangulation be preferred, that he would, with equal +readiness, arrange the cord around my neck; and all for +the honor and glory of the Inquisition, of which, according +to his oath, he is a true and faithful servant." + +This, then, according to Dr. Achilli is the spirit of +Romanism! Can we doubt that it would lead to results as +frightful as anything described in the foregoing story? + +But let us listen to his further remarks on the present +state of the Inquisition. On page 75 he says, "What, +then, is the Inquisition of the nineteenth century? The +same system of intolerance which prevailed in the barbarous +ages. That which raised the Crusade and roused all Europe +to arms at the voice of a monk [Footnote: Bernard of +Chiaravalle.] and of a hermit, [Footnote: Peter the +Hermit.] That which--in the name of a God of peace, +manifested on earth by Christ, who, through love for +sinners, gave himself to be crucified--brought slaughter +on the Albigenses and the Waldenses; filled France with +desolation, under Domenico di Guzman; raised in Spain +the funeral pile and the scaffold, devastating the fair +kingdoms of Granada and Castile, through the assistance +of those detestable monks, Raimond de Pennefort, Peter +Arbues, and Cardinal Forquemorda. That, which, to its +eternal infamy, registers in the annals of France the +fatal 24th of August, and the 5th of November in those +of England." + +That same system which at this moment flourishes at Rome, +which has never yet been either worn out or modified, +and which at this present time, in the jargon of the +priests, is called a "the holy, Roman, universal, apostolic +Inquisition. Holy, as the place where Christ was crucified +is holy; apostolic, because Judas Iscariot was the first +inquisitor; Roman and universal, because FROM ROME IT +EXTENDS OVER ALL THE WORLD. It is denied by some that +the Inquisition which exists in Rome as its centre, is +extended throughout the world by means of the missionaries. +The Roman Inquisition and the Roman Propaganda are in +close connection with each other. Every bishop who is +sent in partibus infidelium, is an inquisitor charged to +discover, through the means of his missionaries, whatever +is said or done by others in reference to Rome, with the +obligation to make his report secretly. The Apostolic +nuncios are all inquisitors, as are also the Apostolic +vicars. Here, then, we see the Roman Inquisition extending +to the most remote countries." Again this same writer +informs us, (page 112,) that "the principal object of +the Inquisition is to possess themselves, by every means +in their power, of the secrets of every class of society. +Consequently its agents (Jesuits and Missionaries,) enter +the domestic circle, observe every motion, listen to +every conversation, and would, if possible, become +acquainted with the most hidden thoughts. It is in fact, +the police, not only of Rome, but of all Italy; INDEED, +IT MAY BE SAID OF THE WHOLE WORLD." + +The above statements of Dr. Achilli are fully corroborated +by the Rev. Wm. H. Rule, of London. In a book published +by him in 1852, entitled "The Brand of Dominic," we find +the following remarks in relation to the Inquisition of +the present time. The Roman Inquisition is, therefore, +acknowledged to have an infinite multitude of affairs +constantly on hand, which necessitates its assemblage +thrice every week. Still there are criminals, and criminal +processes. The body of officials are still maintained on +established revenues of the holy office. So far from any +mitigation of severity or judicial improvement in the +spirit of its administration, the criminal has now no +choice of an advocate; but one person, and he a servant +of the Inquisition, performs an idle ceremony, under the +name of advocacy, for the conviction of all. And let the +reader mark, that as there are bishops in partibus, so, +in like manner, there are inquisitors of the same class +appointed in every country, and chiefly, in Great Britain +and the colonies, who are sworn to secrecy, and of course +communicate intelligence to this sacred congregation of +all that can be conceived capable of comprehension within +the infinitude of its affairs. We must, therefore, either +believe that the court of Rome is not in earnest, and +that this apparatus of universal jurisdiction is but a +shadow,--an assumption which is contrary to all +experience,--or we must understand that the spies and +familiars of the Inquisition are listening at our doors, +and intruding themselves on our hearths. How they proceed, +and what their brethren at Rome are doing, events may +tell; BUT WE MAY BE SURE THEY ARE NOT IDLE. + +They were not idle in Rome in 1825, when they rebuilt +the prisons of the Inquisition. They were not idle in +1842, when they imprisoned Dr. Achilli for heresy, as he +assures us; nor was the captain, or some other of the +subalterns, who, acting in their name, took his watch +from him as he came out. They were not idle in 1843, when +they renewed the old edicts against the Jews. And all +the world knows that the inquisitors on their stations +throughout the pontifical states, and the inquisitorial +agents in Italy, Germany, and Eastern Europe, were never +more active than during the last four years, and even at +this moment, when every political misdemeanor that is +deemed offensive to the Pope, is, constructively, a sin +against the Inquisition, and visited with punishment +accordingly. A deliberative body, holding formal session +thrice every week, cannot be idle, and although it may +please them to deny that Dr. Achilli saw and examined a +black book, containing the praxis now in use, the criminal +code of inquisitors in force at this day,--as Archibald +Bower had an abstract of such a book given him for his +use about one hundred and thirty years ago,--they cannot +convince me that I have not seen and handled, and used +in the preparation of this volume, the compendium of an +unpublished Roman code of inquisitorial regulations, +given to the vicars of the inquisitor-general of Modena. +They may be pleased to say that the mordacchia, or gag, +of which Dr. Achilli speaks, as mentioned in that BLACK +BOOK, is no longer used; but that it is mentioned there, +and might be used again is more than credible to myself, +after having seen that the "sacred congregation" has +fixed a rate of fees for the ordering, witnessing, and +administration of TORTURE. There was indeed, a talk of +abolishing torture at Rome; but we have reason to believe +that the congregation will not drop the mordacchia, +inasmuch, as, instead of notifying any such reformation +to the courts of Europe, this congregation has kept +silence. For although a continuation of the bullary has +just been published at Rome, containing several decrees +of this congregation, there is not one that announces a +fulfilment of this illusory promise,--a promise imagined +by a correspondent to French newspapers, but never given +by the inquisitors themselves. And as there is no proof +that they have yet abstained from torture, there is a +large amount of circumstantial evidence that they have +delighted themselves in death. And why not? When public +burnings became inexpedient--as at Goa--did they not make +provision for private executions? + +For a third time at least the Roman prisons--I am not +speaking of those of the provinces--were broken open, in +1849, after the desertion of Pius IX., and two prisoners +were found there, an aged bishop and a nun. Many persons +in Rome reported the event; but instead of copying what +is already before the public, I translate a letter +addressed to me by P. Alessandro Gavazzi, late +chaplain-general of the Roman army, in reply to a few +questions which I had put to him. All who have heard his +statements may judge whether his account of facts be not +marked with every note of accuracy. They will believe +that his power of oratory DOES NOT betray him into random +declamation. Under date of March 20th, 1852, be writes +thus: + +"MY DEAR SIR,--In answering your questions concerning +the palace of Inquisition at Rome, I should say that I +can give only a few superficial and imperfect notes. So +short was the time that it remained open to the public, +So great the crowd of persons that pressed to catch a +sight of it, and so intense the horror inspired by that +accursed place, that I could not obtain a more exact and +particular impression. + +"I found no instruments of torture, [Footnote: "The gag, +the thumb-screw, and many other instruments of severe +torture could be easily destroyed and others as easily +procured. The non-appearance of instruments is not enough +to sustain the current belief that the use of them is +discontinued. So long as there is a secret prison, and +while all the existing standards of inquisitorial practice +make torture an ordinary expedient for extorting +information, not even a bull, prohibiting torture, would +be sufficient to convince the world that it has been +discontinued. The practice of falsehood is enjoined on +inquisitors. How, then, could we believe a bull, or +decree, if it were put forth to-morrow, to release them +from suspicion, or to screen them from obloquy? It would +not be entitled to belief."--Rev. Wm. H. Rule.] for they +were destroyed at the time of the first French invasion, +and because such instruments were not used afterwards by +the modern Inquisition. I did, however, find, in one of +the prisons of the second court, a furnace, and the +remains of a woman's dress. I shall never be able to +believe that that furnace was placed there for the use +of the living, it not being in such a place, or of such +a kind, as to be of service to them. Everything, on the +contrary, combines to persuade me that it was made use +of for horrible deaths, and to consume the remains of +the victims of inquisitorial executions. Another object +of horror I found between the great hall of judgment and +the luxurious apartment of the chief jailer (primo +custode), the Dominican friar who presides over this +diabolical establishment. This was a deep trap or shaft +opening into the vaults under the Inquisition. As soon +as the so-called criminal had confessed his offence; the +second keeper, who is always a Dominican friar, sent him +to the father commissary to receive a relaxation [Footnote: +"In Spain, RELAXATION is delivery to death. In the +established style of the Inquisition it has the same +meaning. But in the common language of Rome it means +RELEASE. In the lips of the inquisitor, therefore, if he +used the word, it has one meaning, and another to the +ear of the prisoner."--Rev. Wm. H. Rule.] of his punishment. +With the hope of pardon, the confessed culprit would go +towards the apartment of the holy inquisitor; but in the +act of setting foot at its entrance, the trap opened, +and the world of the living heard no more of him. I +examined some of the earth found in the pit below this +trap; it was a compost of common earth, rottenness, ashes, +and human hair, fetid to the smell, and horrible to the +sight and to the thought of the beholder. + +"But where popular fury reached its highest pitch was in +the vaults of St. Pius V. I am anxious that you should +note well that this pope was canonized by the Roman church +especially for his zeal against heretics. I will now +describe to you the manner how, and the place where, +those vicars of Jesus Christ handled the living members +of Jesus Christ, and show you how they proceeded for +their healing. You descend into the vaults by very narrow +stairs. A narrow corridor leads you to the several cells, +which, for smallness and stench, are a hundred times more +horrible than the dens of lions and tigers in the Colosseum. +Wandering in this labyrinth of most fearful prisons, that +may be called 'graves for the living,' I came to a cell +full of skeletons without skulls, buried in lime, and +the skulls, detached from the bodies, had been collected +in a hamper by the first visitors. Whose were those +skeletons? and why were they buried in that place and in +that manner? I have heard some popish priests trying to +defend the Inquisition from the charge of having condemned +its victims to a secret death, say that the palace of +the Inquisition was built on a burial-ground, belonging +anciently to a hospital for pilgrims, and that the +skeletons found were none other than those of pilgrims +who had died in that hospital. But everything contradicts +this papistical defence. Suppose that there had been a +cemetery there, it could not have had subterranean +galleries and cells, laid out with so great regularity; +and even if there had been such--against all probability +--the remains of bodies would have been removed on laying +the foundation of the palace, to leave the space free +for the subterranean part of the Inquisition. Besides, +it is contrary to the use of common tombs to bury the +dead by carrying them through a door at the side; for +the mouth of the sepulchre is always at the top. And +again, it has never been the custom in Italy to bury the +dead singly in quick lime; but, in time of plague, the +dead bodies have been usually laid in a grave until it +was sufficiently full, and then quick lime has been laid +over them, to prevent pestilential exhalations, by +hastening the decomposition of the infected corpses. +This custom was continued, some years ago, in the cemeteries +of Naples, and especially in the daily burial of the +poor. Therefore, the skeletons found in the Inquisition +of Rome could not belong to persons who had died a natural +death in a hospital; nor could any one, under such a +supposition, explain the mystery of all the bodies being +buried in lime except the head. It remains, then, beyond +a doubt, that that subterranean vault contained the +victims of one of the many secret martyrdoms of the +butcherly tribunal. The following is the most probable +opinion, if it be not rather the history of a fact: + +"The condemned were immersed in a bath of slaked lime, +gradually filled up to their necks. The lime by little +and little enclosed the sufferers, or walled them up +alive. The torment was extreme but slow. As the lime +rose higher and higher, the respiration became more and +more painful, because more difficult. So that what with +the suffocation of the smoke, and the anguish of the +compressed breathing, they died in a manner most horrible +and desperate. Some time after their death the heads +would naturally separate from the bodies, and roll away +into the hollows made by the shrinking of the lime. Any +other explanation of the feet that may be attempted will +be found improbable and unnatural. You may make what use +you please of these notes of mine, since I can warrant +their truth. I wish that writers, speaking of this infamous +tribunal of the Inquisition, would derive their information +from pure history, unmingled with romance; for so great +and so many the historical atrocities of the Inquisition, +that they would more than suffice to arouse the detestation +of a thousand worlds. I know that the popish +impostor-priests go about saying that the Inquisition +was never an ecclesiastical tribunal, but a laic. But +you will have shown the contrary in your work, and may +also add, in order quite to unmask these lying preachers, +that the palace of the Inquisition at Rome is under the +shadow of the palace of the Vatican; that the keepers +are to this day, Dominican friars; and that the prefect +of the Inquisition at Rome is the Pope in person. + +"I have the honor to be your affectionate Servant, + +"ALESSANDRA GAVAZZI." + + +"The Roman parliament decreed the erection of a pillar +opposite the palace of the Inquisition, to perpetuate +the memory of the destruction of that nest of abominations; +but before that or any other monument could be raised, +the French army besieged and took the city, restored the +Pope, and with him the tribunal of the faith. Not only +was Dr. Achilli thrown into one of its old prisons, on +the 29th of July 1849, but the violence of the people +having made the building less adequate to the purpose of +safe keeping, he was transferred to the castle of St. +Angelo, which had often been employed for the custody of +similar delinquents, and there he lay in close confinement +until the 9th of January, 1850, when the French authorities, +yielding to influential representations from this country +assisted him to escape in disguise as a soldier, thus +removing an occasion of scandal, but carefully leaving +the authority of the congregation of cardinals undisputed. +Indeed they first obtained the verbal sanction of the +commissary, who saw it expedient to let his victim go, +and hush an outcry. + +"Yet some have the hardihood to affirm that there is no +longer any Inquisition; and as the Inquisitors were +instructed to suppress the truth, to deny their knowledge +of cases actually passing through their hands, and to +fabricate falsehoods for the sake of preserving the +SECRET, because the secret was absolutely necessary to +the preservation of their office, so do the Inquisitors +in partibus falsify and illude without the least scruple +of conscience, in order to put the people of this country +off their guard. + +"That the Inquisition really exists, is placed beyond a +doubt by its daily action as a visible institution at +Rome. But if any one should fancy that it was abolished +after the release of Dr. Achilli, let him hear a sentence +contradictory, from a bull of the Pope himself, Pius IX, +a document that was dated at Rome, August 22, 1851, where +the pontiff, condemning the works of Professor Nuytz, of +Turin, says, "after having taken the advice of the doctors +in theology and canon law, AFTER HAVING COLLECTED THE +SUFFRAGES OF OUR VENERABLE BROTHERS THE CARDINALS OF THE +CONGREGATION OF THE SUPREME AND UNIVERSAL INQUISITION." +And so recently as March, 1852, by letters of the +Secretariate of State, he appointed four cardinals to be +"members of the Sacred Congregation of the Holy Roman +and Universal Inquisition;" giving incontrovertible +evidence that provision is made for attending to +communications of Inquisitors in partibus from all parts +of the world. As the old cardinals die off, their vacant +seats are filled by others. The 'immortal legion' is +punctually recruited. + +"After all, have we in Great Britain, Ireland and the +colonies, and our brethren of the foreign mission stations, +any reason to apprehend harm to, ourselves from the +Inquisition as it is? In reply to this question, let it be +observed; + +"1. That there are Inquisitors in partibus is not to be +denied. That letters of these Inquisitors are laid before +the Roman Inquisition is equally certain. Even in the +time of Leo XII, when the church of Rome was far less +active in the British empire than it is now, some particular +case was always decided on Thursday, when the Pope, in +his character of universal Inquisitor, presided in the +congregation. It cannot be thought that now, in the height +of its exultation, daring and aggression, this congregation +has fewer emissaries, or that they are less active, or +less communicative than they were at that time. We also +see that the number is constantly replenished. The +cardinals Della Genga-Sermattei; De Azevedo; Fornari; +and Lucciardi have just been added to it. + +"2. Besides a cardinal in England, and a delegate in +Ireland, there is both in England and Ireland, a body of +bishops, 'natural Inquisitors,' as they are always +acknowledged, and have often claimed to be; and these +natural Inquisitors are all sworn to keep the secret--the +soul of the Inquisition. Since, then, there are Inquisitors +in partibus, appointed to supply the lack of an avowed +and stationary Inquisition, and since the bishops are +the very persons whom the court of Rome can best command, +as pledged for such a service, it is reasonable to suppose +they act in that capacity. + +"3. Some of the proceedings of these bishops confirm the +assurance that there is now an Inquisition in activity +in England. * * * The vigilance exercised over families, +also the intermeddling of priests with education, both +in families and schools, and with the innumerable relations +of civil society, can only be traced back to the Inquisitors +in partibus, whose peculiar duty, whether by help of +confessors or familiars, is to worm out every secret of +affairs, private or public, and to organize and conduct +measures of repression or of punishment. Where the secular +arm cannot be borrowed, and where offenders lie beyond +the reach of excommunication, irregular methods must be +resorted to, not rejecting any as too crafty or too +violent. Discontented mobs, or individual zealots are to +be found or bought. What part the Inquisitors in partibus +play in Irish assassinations, or in the general mass of +murderous assaults that is perpetrated in the lower haunts +of crime, it is impossible to say. Under cover of +confessional and Inquisitorial secrets, spreads a broad +field of action--a region of mystery--only visible to +the eye of God, and to those 'most reverend and most +eminent' guardians of the papacy, who sit thrice every +week, in the Minerva and Vatican, and there manage the +hidden springs of Inquisition on the heretics, schismatics, +and rebels, no less than on 'the faithful' of realms. +Who can calculate the extent of their power over those +'religious houses,' where so many of the inmates are but +neophytes, unfitted by British education for the +intellectual and moral abnegation, the surrender of mind +and conscience, which monastic discipline exacts? Yet +they must be coerced into submission, and kept under +penal discipline. Who can tell how many of their own +clergy are withdrawn to Rome, and there delated, imprisoned, +and left to perish, if not 'relaxed' to death, in punishment +of heretical opinions or liberal practices? We have heard +of laymen, too, taken to Rome by force, or decoyed thither +under false pretences there to be punished by the universal +Inquisition; and whatever of incredibility may appear in +some tales of Inquisitorial abduction, the general fact +that such abductions have taken place, seems to be +incontrovertible. And now that the Inquisitors in partibus +are distributed over Christendom, and that they provide +the Roman Inquisition with daily work from year's end to +year's end, is among the things most certain,--even the +most careless of Englishmen must acknowledge that we have +all reason to apprehend much evil from the Inquisition +as it is. And no Christian can be aware of this fact, +without feeling himself more than ever bound to uphold +the cause of christianity, both at home and abroad, as +the only counteractive of so dire a curse, and the only +remedy of so vast an evil." Rev. Wm. Rule, London. + +The Rev. E. A. Lawrence, writing of "Romanism at Rome," +gives us the following vivid description of the present +state of the Roman Church. + +"Next is seen at Rome the PROPAGANDA, the great missionary +heart of the whole masterly system. Noiselessly, by the +multiform orders of monks and nuns, as through so many +veins and arteries, it sends out and receives back its +vital fluid. In its halls, the whole world is distinctly +mapped out, and the chief points of influence minutely +marked. A kind of telegraphic communication is established +with the remotest stations in South Africa and Siberia, +and with almost every nook in our own land, to which the +myrmidons of Papal power look with the most of fear. It +is through means of this moral galvanic battery, set up +in the Vatican, that the Church of Rome has gained its +power of UBIQUITY--has so well nigh made itself OMNIPOTENT, +as well as omnipresent. + +"It is no mean or puny antagonist that strides across +the path of a free, spiritual and advancing Protestantism. +And yet, with a simple shepherd's sling, and the smooth +stones gathered from Siloa's brook, God will give it the +victory. + +"Once more let us look, and we shall find at Rome, still +working in its dark, malignant efficiency, the INQUISITION. +Men are still made to pass through fires of this Moloch. +This is the grand defensive expedient of the Papacy, and +is the chief tribunal of the States. Its processes are +all as secret as the grave. Its cells are full of dead +men's bones. They call it the Asylum for the poor--a +retreat for doubting and distressed pilgrims, where they +may have experience of the parental kindness of their +father the Pope, and their mother the church. + +"Dr. Achilli had a trial of this beneficient discipline, +when thrown into the deep dungeon of St. Angelo. And how +many other poor victims of this diabolical institution +are at this moment pining in agony, heaven knows. + +"In America, we talk about Rome as having ceased to +persecute. IT IS A MISTAKE. She holds to the principle +as tenaciously as ever. She cannot dispense with it. Of +the evil spirit of Protestantism she says, "This kind +goeth not out, but by fire." Her reign, is a reign of +terror. Hence she must hold both the principle and the +power of persecution, of compelling men to believe, or, +if they doubt, of putting them to death for their own +good. Take from her this power and she bites the dust." + + +ROMANISM IN AMERICA. + +It may perchance be said that the remarks of the Rev. +William Rule, quoted above, refer exclusively to the +existing state of things is England, Ireland, and the +colonies. But who will dare to say, after a careful +investigation of the subject, that they do not apply with +equal force to these United States? + +Has America nothing to fear from the inquisitors--from +the Jesuits? Is it true that the "Inquisition still exists +in Rome--that its code is unchanged--that its emissaries +are sent over all the world--that every nuncio and bishop +is an Inquisitor," and is it improbable that, even now, +torture rooms like those described in the foregoing story, +may be found in Roman Catholic establishments in this +country? Yes, even here, in Protestant, enlightened +America! Have WE then nothing to fear from Romanism? But +a few days since a gentleman of learning and intelligence +when speaking of this subject, exclaimed, "What have we +to do with the Jesuits? and what is the Inquisition to +us? The idea that we have aught to fear from Romanism, +is simply ridiculous!" In reply to this, allow me to +quote the language of the Rev. Manuel J. Gonsalves, +leader of the Madeira Exiles. + +"The time will come when the American people will arise +as one man, and not only abolish the confessional, but +will follow the example of many of the European nations, +who had no peace, or rest, till they banished the Jesuits. +These are the men, who bask in the sunbeams of popery, +to whom the pope has entrusted the vast interests of the +king of Rome, in this great Republic. Nine tenths of the +Romish priests, now working hard for their Master the +pope, in this country, are full blooded Jesuits. The +man of sin who is the head of the mystery of iniquity +--through the advice of the popish bishops now in this +country, has selected the Jesuitical order of priests, +to carry on his great and gigantic operations in the +United States of America. Those Jesuits who distinguish +themselves the most in the destruction of Protestant +Bible religion, and who gain the largest number of +protestant scholars for popish schools and seminaries; +who win most American converts to their sect are offered +great rewards in the shape of high offices in the church. +John Hughes, the Jesuit Bishop of the New York Romanists, +was rewarded by Pope Pius 9th, with an Archbishop's mitre, +for his great, zeal and success, in removing God's Holy +Bible from thirty-eight public schools in New York, and +for procuring a papal school committee, to examine every +book in the hands of American children in the public +schools, that every passage of truth, in those books of +history unpalatable to the pope might be blotted out." +Has America then nothing to do with Romanism? + +But another gentleman exclaims, "What if Romanism be on +the increase in the United States! Is not their religion +as dear to them, as ours is to us?" To this the Rev. M. +J. Gonsalves would reply as follows. "The American people +have been deceived, in believing THAT POPERY WAS A +RELIGION, not a very good one to be sure, but some kind +of one. This has been their great mistake. We might as +well call the Archbishop of the fallen angels, and his +crew, a religious body of intelligent beings, because +they believe in an Almighty God, and tremble, as to call +the man of sin and his Jesuits, a body of religious +saints. The tree is known by its fruit, such as 'love, +joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, meekness, +faith, temperance, brotherly kindness;' and where the +spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty, Christian liberty, +giving to God and man their due unasked. Now we ask, what +kind of fruit does the tree of Popery bear, in any country, +that it should claim homage, and respect, as a good +religion?" + +Such is the language of one who knew so well what popery +was, that he fled from it as from a hell upon earth. + +In his further remarks upon the horrors of convent life +in the United States, he fully confirms the statements +in the foregoing narrative. He says, "It is time that +American gentlemen, who are so much occupied in business, +should think of the dangers of the confessional, and the +miseries endured by innocent, duped, American, imprisoned +females in this free country; and remember that these +American ladies who have been duped and enticed by +Jesuitical intrigue and craft, into their female convents, +have no means of deliverance; they cannot write a letter +to a friend without the consent and inspection of the +Mother Abbess, who is always and invariably a female +tyrant, a creature in the pay of the Bishop, and dependent +upon the Bishop for her despotic office of power. The +poor, unfortunate, imprisoned American female has no +means of redress in her power. She cannot communicate +her story of wrong and suffering to any living being +beyond the walls of her prison. She may have a father, +a mother, a dear brother, or a sister, who, if they knew +one-sixteenth part of her wrongs and sufferings, would +fly at once to see her and sympathize with her in her +anguish. But the Jesuit confessor attached to the prison +is ever on the alert. Those ladies who appear the most +unhappy, and unreconciled to their prison, are compelled +to attend the confessional every day; and thus the artful +Jesuit, by a thousand cross questions, is made to understand +perfectly the state of their minds. The Lady Porter, or +door-keeper and jailor, is always a creature of the +priest's, and a great favorite with the Mother Abbess. +Should any friends call to see an unhappy nun who is +utterly unreconciled to her fate, the Lady Porter is +instructed to inform those relatives that the dear nun +they want to see so much, is so perfectly happy, and +given up to heavenly meditations, that she cannot be +persuaded to see an earthly relative. At the same time +the Mother Abbess dismisses the relatives with a very +sorrowful countenance, and regrets very much, in appearance, +their disappointment. But the unhappy nun is never informed +that her friends or relatives have called to inquire +after her welfare. How amazing, that government should +allow such prisons in the name of religion!" + + +CONVENT OF THE. CAPUCHINS IN SANTIAGO + +In a late number of "The American and Foreign Christian +Union," we find the following account of conventual life +from a report of a Missionary in Chile, South America. + +"Now, my brother, let me give you an account related to +me by a most worthy English family, most of the members +of which have grown up in the country, confirmed also by +common report, of the Convent of Capuchins, in Santiago. + +"The number of inmates is limited to thirty-two young +ladies. The admittance fee is $2000. When the nun enters +she is dressed like a bride, in the most costly material +that wealth can command. There, beside the altar of +consecration, she devotes herself in the most solemn, +manner to a life of celibacy and mortification of the +flesh and spirit, with the deluded hope that her works +will merit a brighter mansion in the realms above. + +"The forms of consecration being completed, she begins +to cast off her rich veil, costly vestments, all her +splendid diamonds and brilliants--which, in many instances, +have cost, perhaps, from ten to fifteen, or even twenty +thousand dollars. Then her beautiful locks are submitted +to the tonsure; and to signify her deadness forever to +the world, she is clothed in a dress of coarse grey cloth, +called serge, in which she is to pass the miserable +remnant of her days. The dark sombre walls of her prison +she can sever pass, and its iron-bound doors are shut +forever upon their new, youthful, and sensitive occupant. +Rarely, if ever, is she permitted to speak, and NEVER, +NEVER, to see her friends or The loved ones of home--to +enjoy the embraces of a fond mother, or devoted father, +or the smiles of fraternal or sisterly affection. If ever +allowed to speak at all, it is through iron bars where +she cannot be seen, and in the presence of the abbess, +to see that no complaint escapes her lips. However much +her bosom may swell with anxiety at the sound of voices +which were once music to her soul, and she may long to +pour out her cries and tears to those who once soothed +every sorrow of her heart; yet not a murmur must be +uttered. The soul must suffer its own sorrows solitary +and alone, with none to sympathize, or grant relief, and +none to listen to its moans but the cold gloomy walls of +her tomb. No, no, not even the Gospel of Jesus Christ, +that great alleviator of all the sorrows of the heart, +is allowed an entrance there. + +"Nor is this all. Besides being condemned to a meagre, +insufficient and unwholesome diet which they themselves +most cook, the nuns are not allowed to speak much with +each other, except to say, 'Que morir tenemos, 'we are +to die,' or 'we must die,' and to reply, 'Ya los sabemos,' +'we know it,' or 'already we know it' + +"They pass most of their time in small lonely cells, +where they sleep in a narrow place dug out in the ground, +in the shape of a coffin, without bed of any kind, except +a piece of coarse serge spread down; and their daily +dress is their only covering. SLEEP! Did I say? Alas! +'Tired nature's sweet restorer, balmy sleep, no more with +his downy pinions lights on his unsullied with a tear:' +FOR EVERY HOUR OF THE TWENTY-FOUR they are aroused by +the bell to perform their 'Ave Maria's,' count their +rosaries, and such other blind devotions as may be imposed. +Thus they drag out a miserable existence, and when death +calls the spirit to its last account, the other nuns dig +the grave with their own hands, within the walls of the +convent, and so perform the obsequies of their departed +sister. + +"Thus, I have briefly given you not fiction! but a faithful +narrative of facts in regard to conventual life, and an +establishment marked by almost every form of sin, and +yet making pretence of 'perfecting the saints,' by the +free and gentle influences of the gospel of Christ. + +"Query 1st. What is done with all the money? + +"2d. What is done with the rich vestments and jewels? + +"3d. Where do the priests get all their brilliants to +perform high mass and adorn their processions? + +"4th. Where does all the hair of the saints come from, +which is sold in lockets for high prices as sure preventives +of evil? + +"5th. Whose grave has been plundered to obtain RELICS to +sell to the ignorant. + +"6th. Where does the Romish Church obtain her SURPLUS +RIGHTEOUSNESS TO SELL TO THE needy, and not give it like +our blessed Lord, 'without money and without price?' + +"7th. Who is responsible for the FANATICISM that induces +a young female to incarcerate herself? + +"8th. Where is the authority in reason, in revelation, +for such a life? + +"9th. What is the average length of life? + +"10th. How many die insane? + +"A young lady lately cast herself from the tower, and +was dashed in pieces, being led to do it, doubtless, in +desperation. The convents of this city, of the same order, +require the same entrance fee, $2000. Of course, none +but the comparatively rich can avail themselves of this +perfection of godliness. + +"Who will say that this mode of life has not been invented +in order to cut short life as rapidly as possible, that +the $2000, with all the rich diamonds upon initiation, +may be repeated as frequently as possible? + +"O! how true it is, that Romanism is the same merciless, +cruel, diabolical organisation, wherever it can fully +develop itself, in all lands. How truly is it denominated +by the pen of inspiration the 'MYSTERY OF INIQUITY,' +especially that part of it relating to these secret +institutions, and the whole order of the Jesuits." + +The editor of the "Christian Union", in his remarks on +the above, says, "Already the fair face of our country +is disfigured by the existence here and there of conventual +establishments. At present they do not show the hideous +features which they, at least in some cases, assume in +countries where papal influence and authority are supreme. +The genius of our government and institutions necessarily +exerts a restraining power, which holds them from excesses +to which, otherwise, they might run. But they constitute +a part of a system which is strongly at variance with +the interests of humanity, and merely wait the occurrence +of favorable circumstances to visit upon our land all +the horrors which they have inflicted elsewhere. + +"How many conventual establishments there are now in the +nation, few Protestants, it is believed, know. And how +many young females, guilty of no crime against society, +and condemned by no law of the land, are shut up in their +walls and doomed to a life which they did not anticipate +when entering them, a life which is more dreadful to them +than death, very few of the millions of our citizens +conceive. The majority of our people have slept over the +whole subject, and the indifference thus manifested has +emboldened the priests to posh forward the extension of +the system, and the workmen are now busy in various places +in the construction of additional establishments. But +such facts as are revealed in this article, from the pen +of our missionary, in connection with things that are +occurring around us, show that no time should be lost in +examining this whole subject of convents and monasteries, +and in legislating rightly about them." + +Again, when speaking of papal convents in the United +States, the same talented writer observes, "The time has +fully come when Protestants should lay aside their apathy +and too long-cherished indifference in respect to the +movements of Rome in this land. It is time for them to +call to mind the testimony of their fathers, their bitter +experiences from the papal See, and to take effective +measures to protect the inheritance bequeathed to them, +that they may hand it down to their children free from +corruption, as pure and as valuable as when they received +it. They should remember that Rome claims never to +change, that what she was in Europe when in the zenith +of her power, she will be here when fairly installed, +and has ability to enforce her commands. + +"Her numbers now on our soil, her nearly two thousand +priests moving about everywhere, her colleges and +printing-presses, her schools and convents, and enormous +amounts of property held by her bishops, have served as +an occasion to draw out something of her spirit, and to +show that she is ARROGANT AND ABUSIVE TO THE EXTENT OF +HER POWER. + +"Scarcely a newspaper issues from her press, but is +loaded with abuse of Protestants and of their religion, +and at every available point assaults are made upon their +institutions and laws; and Rome and her institutions and +interests are crowded into notice, and special privileges +are loudly clamored for. + +"All Protestants, therefore, of every name, and of every +religious and political creed, we repeat it, who do not +desire to ignore the past, and to renounce all care or +concern for the future, as to their children and children's +children, should lose no time in informing themselves of +the state of things around them in regard to the papacy +and its institutions. They should without delay devote +their efforts and influence to the protection of the +country against those Popish establishments and their +usages which have been set up among us without the +authority of law, and under whose crushing weight some +of the nations of Europe have staggered and reeled for +centuries, and have now but little of their former power +and glory remaining, and under which Mexico, just upon +our borders, has sunk manifestly beyond the power of +recovery. + +"Let each individual seek to awaken an interest in this +matter in the mind of his neighbor. And if there be papal +establishments in the neighborhood under the names of +'schools,' 'retreats', 'religions communities,' or any +other designation, which are at variance with, or are +not conformed to, the laws of the commonwealth in which +they are situated, let memorials be prepared and signed +by the citizens, and forwarded immediately to the +legislature, praying that they may be subjected to +examination, and required to conform to the laws by which +all Protestant institutions of a public nature are +governed. + +"Let us exclude from our national territory all +irresponsible institutions. Let us seek to maintain a +government of law, and insist upon the equality of all +classes before it." + +In closing these extracts, we beg leave to express +ourselves in the words of the Rev. Dr. Sunderland, of +Washington city, in a sermon delivered before the American +and Foreign Christian Union, at its anniversary in May, +1856. + +"But new it is asked, 'Why all this tirade against Roman +Catholics?' We repel the implication. It is not against +the unhappy millions that are ground down under the iron +heel of that enormous despotism. They are of the common +humanity, our brethren and kinsmen, according to the +flesh. They need the same light instruction and salvation +that we need. Like ourselves they need the one God, the +one mediator between God and man, the man Christ Jesus; +and from the heart we love and pity them. We would grant +them all the privileges which we claim to ourselves. We +can have no animosity towards them as men and candidates +with ourselves for the coming judgment. But it is the +system under which they are born, and live, and die, I +repeat, which we denounce, and when we shall cease to +oppose it, then let our right hand forget her cunning, +and our tongue cleave to the roof of our mouth. What is +it but a dark and terrible power on earth before which +so many horrible memories start up? Why, sir, look at +it! We drag the bones of the grim behemoth out to view, +for we would not have the world forget his ugliness nor +the terror he has inspired. 'A tirade against Romanism,' +is it? O sir, we remember the persecutions of Justinian; +we remember the days of the Spanish Inquisition; we +remember the reign of 'the Bloody Mary;' we remember the +revocation of the Edict of Nantes; we remember St. +Bartholomew; we remember the murdered Covenanters, +Huguenots, and Piedmontese; we remember the noble martyrs +dying for the testimony of the faith along the ancient +Rhine; we remember the later wrath which pursued the +islanders of Madeira, till some of them sought refuge +upon these shores; we remember the Madiai, and we know +how the beast ever seeks to propagate his power, by force +where he can, by deception where he must. And when we +remember these things, we must protest against the further +vigor and prosperity of this grand Babylon of all. Take +it, then, tirade and all, for so ye must, ye ministers +of Rome, sodden with the fumes of that great deep of +abominations! The voice of the Protestant shall never be +hushed; the spirit of Reformation shall never sleep. O, +lands of Farel and of Calvin, of Zwingle and of Luther! +O countries where the trumpet first sounded, marshalling +the people to this fearful contest! We have heard the +blast rolling still louder down the path of three hundred +years, and in our solid muster-march we come, the children +of the tenth generation. We come a growing phalanx, not +with carnal weapons, but with the armor of the gospel, +and wielding the sword of truth on the right hand and on +the left, we say that ANTICHRIST MUST FALL. Hear it, ye +witnesses, and mark the word; by the majesty of the coming +kingdom of Jesus, and by the eternal purpose of Jehovah, +THIS ANTICHRIST MUST FALL." + + + + +END + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Life in the Grey Nunnery at Montreal +by Sarah J Richardson + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LIFE IN THE GREY NUNNERY *** + +This file should be named lfgnn10.txt or lfgnn10.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, lfgnn11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, lfgnn10a.txt + +This etext was produced by Gardner Buchanan with help from +Charles Franks and Distributed Proofers. + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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