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diff --git a/old/52818-0.txt b/old/52818-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 72dfdc2..0000000 --- a/old/52818-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1307 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of That Awful Letter, by Edna I. MacKenzie - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: That Awful Letter - A Comedy for Girls - -Author: Edna I. MacKenzie - -Release Date: August 16, 2016 [EBook #52818] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THAT AWFUL LETTER *** - - - - -Produced by Emmy, MFR and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - -[Transcriber's Note: Bold text is surrounded by =equal signs= and -italic text is surrounded by _underscores_.] - - - Price 25 Cents - - PAINE’S - POPULAR PLAYS - - That Awful - Letter - - Mac KENZIE - - PAINE PUBLISHING CO. - DAYTON, OHIO - - NO PLAYS EXCHANGED - - - - -New Entertainment Songs - -By Edna Randolph Worrell. - - -These songs can be used in all manner of entertainments. The music is -easy, and both music and words are especially catchy. Children like -them. Everybody likes them. Sheet music. Price 25 cents each. Five -copies, $1.00. - -=WE HOPE YOU’VE BROUGHT YOUR SMILES ALONG.= A welcome song that will -at once put the audience in a joyous frame of mind and create a happy -impression that will mean half the success of your entire program. -Words, bright and inspiring. Music, catchy. - -=WE’LL NOW HAVE TO SAY GOOD-BYE.= This beautiful song has snap and go -that will appeal alike to visitors and singers. It is just the song to -send your audience home with happy memories of the occasion. - -=WE’VE JUST ARRIVED FROM BASHFUL TOWN.= This song will bring memories -to the listeners of their own bashful school days. Words, unusually -clever. Music, decidedly melodious. A capital welcome song, or it may -be sung at any time on the program with assured success. - -=MY OWN AMERICA, I LOVE THEE.= A song that will bring a thrill of -patriotism to the heart of every one who hears it. The children and -grown-ups just can’t resist the catchy music. It makes a capital -marching song. - -=COME AND PARTAKE OF OUR WELCOME CAKE.= A merry welcome song and a -jolly one, too. The audience will be immediately curious about the -Welcome Cake, and the children will love to surprise the listeners with -the catchy words. Music, easy and tuneful. - -=LULLABY LANE.= The music and words blend so beautifully that people -will be humming the appealing strains long after they hear this -charming song. A wonderfully effective closing song, whether sung by -the school or as a solo by a little girl, with a chorus of other little -girls with dolls. - -=JOLLY PICKANINNIES.= Words by Elizabeth F. Guptill. Music by Edna R. -Worrell. This spicy coon song will bring down the house, especially if -you use the directions for the motions which accompany the music. The -black faces and shining eyes of the pickaninnies will guarantee a hit. -The words are great and the music just right. - -=THE LITTLE BIRD’S SECRET.= Here is just the song for those two -little folks to sing together. They won’t have to be coaxed to sing -it, especially when they find that the whole school is to whistle the -chorus. This is a decided novelty, and will prove a rare treat to your -audience. - -=A GARDEN ROMANCE.= This is a dainty little song telling of the romance -and wedding of Marigold and Sweet William. It is just the song for -dainty little girls to sing. - -=COME TO THE NURSERY RHYME GARDEN AND PLAY.= Here is something -different for the little folks to sing. The Nursery Rhyme Folk are so -familiar to children, it will be no trick for them to remember the -words. The music has a most captivating swing. - - Paine Publishing Company - - Dayton, Ohio - - - - - That Awful Letter - - _A Comedy for Girls_ - - - BY - EDNA I. MAC KENZIE - - - Copyright, 1919, by - PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY - - - PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY - DAYTON, OHIO - - - - -THAT AWFUL LETTER - - - - -CHARACTERS - - - MARGARET NEILSON—A Snobbish City Girl. - ELIZABETH NORTON—Her Country Cousin. - HELEN MONTGOMERY—Margaret’s Dearest Friend. - EDITH BROWNING—A Friend of Elizabeth’s. - NORA—A Maid of Neilson’s - - (This part may be taken by Edith Browning.) - - TIME OF PLAYING—_About Forty Minutes._ - - - - -SCENE I - - -(_Sitting-room in Neilson’s house, well furnished. Margaret -overdressed, is sitting reading a magazine. She looks up impatiently -and throws it down in disgust._) - -MARGARET—(_crossly._) There’s no use in my trying to read or do -anything else when I’m so provoked. I don’t see why dad can’t (_the -bell rings_) Oh, drat that bell! I don’t want to see any person. I wish -people would stay at home. (_Goes and looks out._) Oh! it’s Helen! I -wonder what she wants now. She is always running over and I’m sure I’m -never over there any more than four times a day at the most. (_Helen -comes in and Margaret rushes to embrace her._) Oh Helen, you dear girl! -I’m so glad to see you. I was just wishing you would come over. Do take -off your hat and stay awhile. I’ve just been so mad I could boil over -or bite somebody or do something awful. - -HELEN—Why, what is the matter with you? What are you mad about? -(_Aside, It seems to me she is always in hot water or a stew about -something._) - -MARGARET—Well, sit down and I’ll tell you about it. (_They sit down -on a couch._) It seems that dad has some country relations somewhere -in the backwoods. He’s had them ever since he was born but he’s just -remembering them now. Well, it seems that there’s a girl about my age -and dad was looking over some old photos last night and came across one -of her when she was six years old. That picture put him into the notion -that he would like to see that girl and nothing will do but I must -write and ask her up. - -HELEN—That won’t hurt you, will it? I think it would be nice to have a -girl visiting you. I know when Marian Staddon was visiting me, we had a -dandy time—parties, dances, and heaps of things. - -MARGARET—Yes, but can’t you get anything into your head? This is a -cousin from the _backwoods_ and just imagine the kind of figure she’d -cut in our set! Why, she’ll likely have the oddest clothes and speak -most horrible English and, and—not know beans. And then that would -spoil all our plans for getting in with Edith Browning. The Brownings, -you know, are such an aristocratic family and are the whole cheese -since they moved to the city. I’m just crazy to get in with them, but -of course if they saw me with that girl, that would spoil everything. -Edith would know that my father had sprung from common ordinary farmers -and we have just succeeded in making people think we had very important -ancestors. - -HELEN—(_aside_) Gee! but isn’t she some snob. Well, nobody is deceived -I can vouch for that. (_aloud._) I know Edith Browning is the whole -thing just at present. I’ve met her several times and think she is -lovely, (_pause_) not a bit stuck up, you know. Of course we want to -get in with her, especially this winter when Beth Norton is going to -visit her, for everybody will be having parties and things for her. - -MARGARET—And pray, who is Beth Norton? - -HELEN—Don’t you know? Why, she is the girl that all the girls at -Erskine College were just crazy about. Why, they say there’s never -been a girl there before who was as popular. And act! Why, she took -the chief parts in all their plays and the girls said she had any -professional actress beaten all to pieces. Oh yes, we must manage to -get in with them if we can. Now about your cousin, say, why can’t you -have her up for just a couple of days and keep her out of the way? - -MARGARET—Dad is bound that I’ll invite her up for two weeks anyway. I -can generally manage him pretty well, but this time he’s as obstinate -as a mule. I’m glad I didn’t inherit his bad qualities. - -HELEN—(_aside_) I think she has all of his and some of her own to boot, -(_aloud_) I have an idea. Write her such a letter that if she has any -sense at all she’ll know she’s not wanted and then perhaps she won’t -come. - -MARGARET—(_jumping up_) That _is_ a good idea! Let’s write it now. What -shall we put into it? (_goes to a table where there is paper and ink, -sits down to write_) - -HELEN—(_going to the table_) Tell her that,—oh, I don’t know. You -ought to be good at that sort of thing. (_Margaret looks up sharply_). -Writing letters I mean. You can write such splendid ones, you know. -(_Margaret writes awhile while Helen looks over her shoulder._) - -MARGARET—(_rising_) There, that ought to do the trick. What do you -think of it? - -HELEN—Well, if she can’t take the hint from that that she’s not wanted, -she must be as dense as a—a fog! (_goes to put on her hat._) I must go -for I promised to stay only a few minutes. Good-bye (_goes towards the -door_) I hope your cousin won’t be too boorish if she does come. - -MARGARET—Good-bye. We’ll trust to luck. (_Helen disappears. Margaret -comes to centre of stage_) Well, that letter _is_ a good stunt, but my, -wouldn’t dad be angry if he knew! But I’ll chance it that he doesn’t -find out. Now for a toast. (_Pretends to drink._) Here’s to the refusal -of my invitation to my country cousin. - - -CURTAIN - - - - -SCENE II - - -(_A country kitchen. Elizabeth in middy and skirt, enters slowly toward -centre of stage, examining an envelope._) - -ELIZABETH—(_still examining envelope._) I wonder who this letter’s -from. I don’t know the writing and it’s from New York City. But there’s -lot of people I know there. Perhaps it’s from one of those little girls -at Erskine College that were always getting a crush on us bigger girls -and bothering us to death with their gushing. Now, who is it from -anyway? (_laughing._) Say, I never thought of it, but perhaps if I -opened it I’d find out. (_Opens and glances over it, and seems amazed -and reads very slowly aloud._) - - 14 Riverside Drive, New York City. - - Dear Cousin Elizabeth: - - Father wished me to write and ask you to visit us for a - couple of weeks. I know that you really wouldn’t want - to come as you’d feel so shy and awkward in a city home - and among the girls in our set and doubtless you have - no clothes suitable for the city; but as he wished me - to ask you, I have done so. - - Yours truly, - Margaret Neilson. - -(_Elizabeth looks up bewildered._) - -ELIZABETH—What a queer letter! I wonder if any of the girls are playing -a trick on me. (_thinks._) Now, I have it. I’ve heard mother mention -her brother, Jerry Neilson, who went to the city and his aristocratic -wife made him cut his country relations when they got rich. So this -must be from my cousin. But how could any girl write such a rude, -insolent letter like that! She certainly was forced to write against -her will. I bet her father never saw that letter. It would serve her -right if I sent it to him. I’d feel out of place in a city home and in -her set! Well, (_laughing_) that’s a joke, when I’ve been in some of -the best homes in New York City. I wonder what Edith Browning would say -to that and a lot of the other girls at dear old Erskine. Well, my dear -cousin, I’ll just write you a polite note of refusal. - -(_Goes to table and writes, then reads aloud_). - -“Miss Edith Norton regrets with pleasure the sincerely cordial and -hospitable invitation of Miss Margaret Neilson.” Oh, (_suddenly -jumping and clapping her hands._) I’ve an idea! I’ll accept my kind -and hospitable cousin’s invitation since she’s so anxious to have me -and since she expects me to be such a queer freak from the backwoods, -it would be too bad to disappoint her, so I’ll dress and act the part -of the poor country cousin she’s looking for. Oh, (_dancing around_) -it will be heaps of fun. I’ll stay there a day and then I’ll pay Edith -Browning that visit I’ve promised her for ages. (_Going towards the -exit._) The girls at Erskine always said I was a born actress and now -I’ll have the chance to prove whether they were just flattering me -or not. (_Stops and glances at the address, 14 Riverside Drive._) -Why, Mildred Ewing lives just a couple houses from there. I’ll dress -there and just slip over when the coast is clear. There’s some of my -masquerade costumes up in the attic. I’ll run and see if I can find -something suitable for my new role. Say, but won’t I lead my dear -cousin a merry dance! (_Laughs and runs off the stage._) - - -CURTAIN - - - - -SCENE III - -(_Sitting room in Neilson’s house. Margaret is seated doing fancywork. -Helen comes in and Margaret rushes to meet her._) - - -HELEN—Say, what’s up now that you had to have me come over in such a -hurry? Have you any startling news? (_Both go towards centre._) - -MARGARET—Oh Helen, I’m in a terrible fix and all over that awful letter -you made me write to— - -HELEN—(_interrupting indignantly._) I made you write! - -MARGARET—Yes, to Elizabeth—or Lizzie as I guess she’s called. Would you -ever think she’d accept that invitation? - -HELEN—No, she hasn’t, has she? - -MARGARET—Yes, she has and here’s her answer. (_shows her a letter -written on some very brightly colored paper or wrapping paper._) Just -look at the spelling and the style! Wouldn’t it crimp you? And just -wait until I read it to you (_begins to read, while Helen follows her -over her shoulder and giggles all through the reading of it._) - - Dear Maggie—(_Isn’t that abominable?_)— - - I’ve been wanting ter visit the city ever since I was - skin high to a grasshopper, but didn’t know I had any - kin in the city that I could visit. It’s awferlly kind - of youse to ask me and I’ll be there as sure as guns - this coming Wednesday. I jest got some new clothes made - by Susannah Sparks and they’re mighty stylish, I kin - tell yer. I aint a bit bashful so youse kin invite all - the people in youse like. I’d like ter meet yer friends - awful well. Remember me to yer pap. - - Yers to a sliver, - Lizzie Norton. - -(_throws the letter down on the table in disgust and makes a face._) -Isn’t that perfectly awful? That means she’ll be here to-morrow and oh, -she must be dreadful! And what if she should tell dad about that awful -letter we wrote! Oh, why did I do it, and whatever will I do? (_Sinks -down in chair and begins to cry._) - -HELEN—(_going over and putting her arm around her._) Oh, cheer up! -Things might be worse. You can manage to avoid the girls for awhile -and you can give Lizzie books to read or something to keep her in the -background and out of mischief. - -MARGARET—(_drying her eyes._) It’s a good thing she isn’t coming today -for you know I’ve invited Edith Browning for tea and I want to be on my -best behavior and be as nice as I can so as to make a good impression. -If Lizzie were here, I would be mortified to death. (_bell rings behind -stage._) Oh, there’s the bell. It’s too early for Edith. I wonder who -it is. (_goes to the door and looks out._) There’s Nora answering the -door now. (_throws up her hands in horror._) Good heavens, who can that -awful person be! - -HELEN—What person? (_Goes and looks too and giggles._) Goodness, I bet -she’s escaped from some asylum. But listen, Nora’s going to settle her. -(_both listen at door._) - -NORA—(_behind the scenes_) Yez can’t come in here. This is no place for -the likes of ye. Ye’d better thry the asylum where ye belong. - -ELIZABETH—(_behind the scenes_) Yer’d better go there yerself. Let me -tell yer that I kin come in if I want ter. I’ve come to visit my Uncle -Jerry and yer needn’t think a red-haired freckled flip of a thing like -yer can stop me. Now stop making a door of yerself and let me through -or I’ll tell my cousin Maggie on yer. - -HELEN—Good heavens, here she comes! (_Drags Margaret to front of stage -where they both fall limp into chairs._) - -MARGARET—Merciful powers, it’s Lizzie! Isn’t she—(_Elizabeth appears at -door, dressed in a most ridiculous fashion and carries an old-fashioned -telescope and a big satchel. Both girls sit staring at her._) - -ELIZABETH—(_Rushing up to them and throwing down her telescope_) -Helloa, girls! Be one of youse my cousin Maggie? I’m Lizzie Norton. I -got a chance ter come up a day earlier so I didn’t think it would make -any odds. (_The girls have jumped to their feet thunder-struck._) - -ELIZABETH—(_looks from one to the other_) Say, what’s the matter with -youse? Be youse both deef and dumb? - -MARGARET—(_extending her hand which Elizabeth seizes_) I’m _Margaret_ -Neilson so I suppose you must be my cousin Lizzie. We were not -expecting you until to-morrow. (_Aside to Helen._) Oh, Helen, isn’t she -perfectly dreadful? - -HELEN—(_aside to Margaret_) Well, I should say! And her clothes sure -are the latest style as there’s never been any like them—yet! - -ELIZABETH—(_tugging at the elastic on her hat_) Well, youse didn’t tell -me ter take off my hat, but I guess I’ll make myself ter hum. (_Takes -off her hat and throws it on the couch and stares around._) My, aint -everything here perfectly grand! (_Goes around the room._) Youse folks -must be pretty stylish. Now, ter home us folks aint never seen such -nice things. (_Turns suddenly._) Say, how’s Uncle Jerry, Maggie? - -MARGARET—If you’re referring to my father, his name is J. Ernest -Neilson, so please call him Uncle Ernest. As for myself, I detest the -name of Maggie. _Do_ call me Margaret. - -ELIZABETH—Oh, yer rather peppery aint yer? I’m sure Jerry is just as -good a name as yer kin find anywhere. Why, we named our old white horse -that and a better horse yer couldn’t have. As for Maggie, our black -and white spotted cow is called that and she gives more milk than any -of them. (_Margaret looks more and more disgusted and Helen amused._) -Say, aint you going to interduce me to your friend? At hum we always -interduce everybody to everybody else. - -MARGARET—I beg your pardon. This is my friend, Miss Helen Montgomery. -(_Helen raises her hand very high and Elizabeth pulls it down and -shakes it heartily._) - -ELIZABETH—Please ter meet you, Helly. I suspect I’ll get real -acquainted with yer before my visit’s over. Yer don’t look quite as -stuck-uppish as my cousin there. (_Margaret makes a face while Helen -laughs._) - -HELEN—I feel greatly complimented, I’m sure. (_Aside_) She’s summed up -Margaret pretty well for a green country girl. - -ELIZABETH—(_examining the girl’s clothes_) Say, girls, yer dressed up -mighty swell. Be yer going to a party? - -MARGARET—(_proudly_) Why, no, these are just our every-day clothes. - -ELIZABETH—(_in surprise_). You don’t say! (_Smoothing down her own -dress proudly._) Don’t you like my new dress? (_Margaret looks -disdainful._) I was bound to have Susannah make it stylish and put in -all the pleats and frills she could. I think she made a real good job -of it, don’t youse? - -HELEN—(_sarcastically_) Why, yes, I think it is beautiful (_looking -at Elizabeth’s hat_) and what a lovely hat you have and so becoming. -(_Turns her back to laugh._) - -ELIZABETH—(_getting the hat and turning it around in her hand_) Yes, I -think it mighty nice and so should it be for it was awferlly expensive. -I paid $1.98 for the shape itself at (_names a local milliner_) and -I trimmed it myself. (_Puts it back on sofa. Helen and Margaret sit -down._) - -HELEN—(_aside_) It wouldn’t need a detective to make that discovery, -that’s one thing sure. - -ELIZABETH—(_unfastening satchel and taking out a gaily colored -centre-piece_) Now, I’ll jest set down and work at this centre-piece. -(_Sits down in rocking chair and works._) I’m going to give it to you, -Mag—_Margaret_, I mean, for yer parler table. - -MARGARET—(_aside_) Oh, gee, imagine that on our highly polished table. -I guess it will be more likely to adorn the attic. (_aloud_) Oh, that’s -very nice of you. By the way, how did you find your way here? - -HELEN—Oh yes, how did you when you had never been in the city before? - -ELIZABETH—Well, now, I did have a mighty hard time of it at first. I -asked one of them policemen if he could tell me where Uncle Jer—where -Mr. J. Ernest Neilson lived and he just laughed at me. (_She keeps -rocking._) - -HELEN—Well, I should think he would. Didn’t you know any better than -that? - -ELIZABETH—(_still sewing_) Why, I was told that them policemen could -answer any kind of a question. At hum everybody knows where everybody -else lives so I thought it would be the same here. (_Both girls -laugh._) Anyway he asked what his address was and I showed him the top -of yer letter. - -MARGARET—(_in horror_) You didn’t show him my letter! - -ELIZABETH—Sure and he must have got a good squint at what was in it, -too, for he looked so funny. Well he told me to get into one of them -street car things, and the feller who was all dressed up in brass -buttons and took the tickets told me when to get into another so it was -real easy. But I think the people here are dreadfully imperlite. They -kept giggling and giggling. I asked one what the joke was and she grew -awfully red and didn’t answer. I think it’s mighty rude not to tell -other folks the joke, why down to hum—(_looks up just as the girls are -turning up their noses_). Say, what’s the matter with your noses? Have -they nervous twitches in them? Get a bottle of Dr. Cure-all’s syrup of -tar at (_name of local druggist_) and it will soon stop that for it -cured my cold. (_Rising and throwing fancy work on chair._) Laws a me, -I’m awfully thirsty. Where’s the kitchen (_goes towards door, Margaret -starts up_). Never mind coming. I’ll just use the dipper so you don’t -need to get me a glass. - -MARGARET—Well, tell Nora to get you a drink. (_Exit Elizabeth_). Oh -Helen, I never saw anybody so common— - -HELEN—(_interrupting_). Why she’s the most _un_common specimen I ever -met in all my life. - -MARGARET—(_proceeding_)—and horrid before—and oh, (_jumping up in -consternation_), I forgot all about Edith coming. She’ll be here soon -now and I simply must get Lizzie out of the way before she comes. Oh -Helen, (_putting her arm around her_), hurry up and think up something -to help me out of this hole. - -HELEN—(_aside_), And she was so grateful when I tried to help her the -last time. But she’s in a pretty tight box now so I guess I’ll have -to try and patch it up. I wish her _important ancestors_ had given -her some brains. (_Aloud._) Oh, tell her—tell her—. Now let me think -(_thinks for a minute and suddenly grabs Margaret’s arm_). I have it. -Tell her that you know she must be very tired after her long journey -and that you’re sure she would like to rest and have tea quietly in -her own room. Nora could take it up on a tray. Lizzie will think it’s -so considerate of you, I’m pretty sure, and the novelty of having -things sent up to her might appeal to her. Let’s try it anyway. - -MARGARET—All right. I’d try anything. (_Elizabeth appears._) But here -she comes now. (_Elizabeth comes toward centre and Margaret goes to -meet her and puts her arm around Elizabeth’s waist_). Oh Lizzie, I know -you must be pretty tired after your long journey. I think perhaps you -had better rest quietly until tea time. Then I’ll tell Nora to fix you -up a nice dainty tray and you’ll be under no nervous strain at all. - -ELIZABETH—Me tired after that speck of a ride on the train! Why I’ve -saw me walk five miles ter town and go home and milk ten cows and not -be a bit the worse for it. And talk about nerves. Well I may be _nervy_ -but I aint got them nerves that make people act like sillies. Now I’ll -just go up and put on my red chiny silk dress Susannah fixed up that -stylish with yeller bows and six frills and point de spit lace. It will -only take me a few minutes and I’ll be down in lots of time for supper. -(_Gets valise and goes towards exit, then stops at one end of stage_), -(_Aside_), I guess it’s time that I ended this farce. I think I’ve -given my dear cousin a pretty strong jolt, judging from her face and -actions. Gee, she’s the limit all right. Anyway, I had better change -into a decent dress as I would hate to offend Uncle Jerry—I mean _Uncle -J. Ernest Neilson_ (_exit Elizabeth_). - -(_Margaret sits moodily in chair with head propped on knees. Helen sits -toying with some fancy work._) - -HELEN—For goodness sake, Margaret, cheer up, you’re not dead yet! - -MARGARET—I wish I were. What am I going to do? and Edith is due any -minute. I wonder what made Lizzie strike today. - -HELEN—(_explosively_) Well, do you know, I like her! - -MARGARET—(_in surprise_) Do you really? Well, I believe I do myself. -There’s something rather refreshing about her and she’s so frank and -good-natured. She doesn’t bear the least grudge for that horrid letter -we sent. Perhaps she doesn’t see anything wrong with it though. Oh, -whatever made me do it? I feel as mean as dirt everytime I think of it. -I’d give anything if I had never written it. - -HELEN—Yes, I guess it was pretty shabby, but what’s done cannot be -undone. Anyway, I don’t suppose she knows enough to take offense at it. -(_Starting up._) Oh, I have an idea! - -MARGARET—(_moodily_), I notice that you do catch on to one once in a -while. Well let’s hear it. - -HELEN—(_aside in disgust_) Now, wouldn’t that crimp you! She couldn’t -find an idea all by herself in a thousand years. (_Aloud_). Why, I was -just thinking that Lizzie would look quite pretty if she had a decent -dress to wear and was fixed up some. Now, what’s to hinder you lending -her one of your pretty dresses and doing her hair in some becoming -fashion? I bet she wouldn’t look bad at all. - -MARGARET—Why, she wouldn’t. I’ll go right up now and do it (_starts -toward exit_), or she’ll be coming down in some awful concoction of a -dress. Oh, dear, I feel awfully nervous. - -HELEN—Did you hear what she said about nerves? The very idea, when -nerves are all the go now. (_Bell rings_). Oh, there’s Edith now. I -wish she had stayed away for half an hour longer. - -MARGARET—So do I. And however will I manage to fix Lizzie up now? - -HELEN—Talk for a few minutes and then excuse yourself and I’ll -entertain Edith until you come back. - -MARGARET—(_warmly_) Helen, you’re a dear and just full of ideas. I -don’t know what I’d do without you. (_Goes out_). - -HELEN—(_aside dramatically_), Behold the expanding of Miss Margaret -Neilson’s character. She is actually wakening up to what I am trying to -do for her and has even expressed one grain of gratitude. Well I guess -I’ll hang on to the grain, perhaps it will sprout. (_Sees Lizzie’s hat -and fancy work._) Goodness I’d better get these out of sight or they’d -be a sure giveaway. (_Runs and thrusts fancy work under a cushion and -throws hat behind couch. Margaret appears arm in arm with Edith who is -well but quietly dressed. Helen goes to meet them._) - -MARGARET—You know Helen Montgomery don’t you, Miss Browning? - -EDITH—Oh call me Edith, it’s more sociable and I’ll call you Margaret. -Why yes, (_shaking hands with Helen_), I have met you several times, -haven’t I? Coming to a new city it takes a person quite awhile to get -acquainted, but I’m managing not too badly. - -HELEN—Why, I should say not. You have made hosts of friends already -from all accounts. - -EDITH—Yes, everybody has been awfully kind to me and then I’d met -several people when I was at Erskine. (_All girls take seats, Edith -sitting where she can see the exit by turning slightly._) I hope you -girls weren’t expecting me any sooner. I had some shopping to do and -that delayed me. - -MARGARET—Oh, that’s all right, but we were just saying we wish you’d -hurry up so that we could have a nice, long chat about everything -before supper, so— - -HELEN—(_interrupting_) Oh, Edith, do tell us about some of the jolly -times you had at Erskine College. I’m just aching to hear about them. -(_Draws chair closer to Edith_). - -MARGARET—Yes, please do! (_Draws her chair closer_). - -EDITH—Why, I could tell you lots, but really I wouldn’t know where to -begin and once I began, I wouldn’t know where to stop. For one thing -we used to have midnight suppers whenever one of the girls would get a -box from home. We’d all meet in one room and have nothing but candles -for a light and when we heard anyone coming, we would have to blow them -out, quick as wink. Oh, but it was exciting when we heard any footsteps -outside! There’d be a wild scamper, I can tell you. - -HELEN AND MARGARET—I guess there would be. What would you do? - -EDITH—Everybody would grab the first thing that came handy and we’d -make ourselves as small as possible. We’d squeeze four or five into bed -with the eats and a few under while the rest would get into a closet. -One of the girls would snore and the teacher would think she was asleep -and pass on. It was pretty hard on the eats, though, being grabbed -in such a hurry and getting all crushed up, but then it was lots of -excitement and fun. - -HELEN—What else did you do? - -EDITH—Well, we put on some pretty good amateur plays. Beth Norton, was -simply grand in anything like that. Say, (_with enthusiasm_) you just -ought to know Beth. She’s the dearest girl out. Everybody raved over -her at Erskine. She was just bubbling over with fun and mischief and -kept things lively all the time. She was so good-hearted and kind too -and had the most forgiving nature. One girl said she was so full of fun -that there wasn’t a speck of room for spite to lodge in. - -MARGARET—She must be lovely. I’d like awfully well to meet her. - -EDITH—Well, I don’t see why you couldn’t for I just got a letter from -her and she said she was going to visit me in a couple days. She said -she was visiting some snobbish cousin of hers who needs to be taken -down a peg or two. I’d love to see her do it, but I wouldn’t like to be -the cousin, I can tell you. - -MARGARET—No, nor I either, but those people who put on such airs ought -to have it taken out of them some way or other. I wonder who she is. - -EDITH—I don’t know. Beth wouldn’t think of giving her away. (_Helen -stares fixedly at Margaret and nods. Margaret rises_). - -MARGARET—I wonder if you’d excuse me for a few minutes. I have some -things I must attend to. - -EDITH—Why of course. Don’t hurry back. (_Gazes at Margaret starting to -go out. Elizabeth appears at exit very daintily dressed._) - -EDITH—(_rushing past Margaret seizes Elizabeth and hugs her_), Why -Beth, you dear girl, (_pulls her towards centre_), wherever did you -come from? The girls were just saying they didn’t know you. (_Margaret -and Helen both stand in amazement._) That’s funny. - -ELIZABETH—Oh, helloa Edith! I didn’t know you knew my cousin. I’m just -staying here until to-morrow and then I’m going to your place for -awhile. - -EDITH—(_aside in horror_), So this Margaret Neilson is the snob Beth -is to take down a peg. Good gracious, but I’ve put my foot into it. -(_Edith and Beth go to one side and eagerly converse in low tones_). - -MARGARET—(_to Helen_), Lizzie, Beth Norton! Why whatever does it mean -anyway? (_thinks_), How can she be one and the same person? Oh, oh, I -see it now. The names are both nicknames and I never imagined my cousin -Elizabeth was the much talked of Beth. And so I’m the snob that Edith -said Beth was to take down a peg! (_Pauses_) And the worst of it is I -know I deserve it after that horrible letter. I don’t deserve to have -her ever speak to me again. - -HELEN—But, whatever did she mean by dressing up like that! - -MARGARET—Why, don’t you see? Didn’t you say that when she acted, she -had all the professionals beaten to pieces? Well, she’s acted that -country gawk I inferred in that letter to take me down that peg. Gee, -she’s taken me down a whole bunch of them. And oh look how we treated -her since she came. Oh, Helen, I’m so ashamed. I wish there was a hole -in the floor so that I could crawl into it. - -HELEN—(_aside_), Thank goodness, she’s admitted that much. There’s hope -for her yet. (_Aloud._) We both acted awfully mean and for my part I’m -going to take my pill and swallow it. - -MARGARET—I will too. It’s mighty bitter, but the worse the medicine -tastes, as a rule, the better are the results. I’ll never—(_Elizabeth -comes up to her_). - -ELIZABETH—Well, Mag—Margaret, I guess it’s up to me to explain. You see -when I got your letter which showed me so plainly that you considered -any person brought up in the country was some sort of a curiosity -and nothing but an ignoramus, I thought I would come and explain to -you that the farmers of today are among the best educated and most -wealthy people there are and their daughters are receiving the very -best advantages that can be gotten. But when I read your letter over, I -couldn’t resist the temptation of acting the awkward gawk of a specimen -you expected. Did I succeed? - -MARGARET—Succeed! Oh goodness, it was awful. (_Sinks into a chair and -starts to cry_), Oh, Liz—Beth, I mean. I know I’ve been as nasty and -snobbish as I could. And you don’t know how mean I’ve felt ever since -I wrote that awful, awful letter. I’ve wished again and again that I’d -never been so rude and horrid. Will you ever forgive me? (_Cries_). - -ELIZABETH—(_Putting her arm around her_), Oh, cheer up, Margaret, of -course I’ll forgive you; you just need some of your notions changed. -That’s all. And when it comes to forgiving, perhaps I’d better ask you -to forgive me for playing such a trick on you. (_Aside, laughing_), -But, gee it was the best fun I’ve had for ages. Their shocked faces! -(_laugh_), their turned up noses, (_laughs_), their open disgust. Oh -glory, it was worth a circus to see them. - -EDITH—Well, let’s forget everything that’s been done and said and begin -all over again. I think we’ll be great friends. Let’s shake over it. -(_She takes Helen’s hand, Elizabeth takes Margaret’s and they stand -with crossed hands in front of stage_). - -ELIZABETH—Oh girls, see how our hands are crossed; I wonder who’s going -to be married first. - - - CURTAIN - - - - -Christmas Entertainments - - -=CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER.= A new Christmas play by Elizabeth F. -Guptill that abounds in clean, wholesome fun from beginning to end. It -depicts the trials of the teacher of an old-fashioned “deestric school” -in conducting the last rehearsal for the Christmas Entertainment. Some -of the pupils are in “custom,” as big Jake puts it, and “Sandy Claus” -is there. The children go through their parts with gusto and more or -less success. May be given in any schoolroom by any number. Easy to -produce. Costumes simple. Children and grown-ups will be delighted with -CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER. Price, 15 cents. - -=A TOPSY TURVY CHRISTMAS.= Another new Christmas play by Elizabeth F. -Guptill. It is decidedly humorous from start to finish. The characters -are strong and at every turn of the play there is a happy surprise for -the audience. The children are tired of “minding,” and the everything -being “just so,” so they start to find a place where they will find -things different. They find it in Topsy Turvy Land, where they have -strange experiences. When at last they have a Topsy Turvy Christmas, -they are ready to go home and be satisfied with things just as they -are. May be given in any schoolroom by any number of children not less -than fifteen. In two short scenes. This clever play will prove a sure -winner wherever produced. Price, 15 cents. - -=CHRISTMAS AT McCARTHY’S.= Elizabeth P. Guptill. Here is a new -Christmas play for the older children and as many young children as -are available. It combines in a marked degree the gentlest pathos and -the most sparkling humor. Several nationalities are represented in the -tenement and there is opportunity for the introduction of specialties -if desired. Circumstances cause Elsie, the tenement orphan, to believe -Jimmy, the newsboy, will buy her a Christmas present, and it seems -it is up to Jimmy to do it. Christmas is an unknown quantity at the -tenement, but all agree that Elsie must not be disappointed, and plan -to have one somehow. The entertainment is given by the “inhabitints -thimsilves,” at McCarthy’s. In the midst of the fun, Elsie’s lost -father walks in, and the finale is a general rejoicing. Price, 25c. - -=CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES.= By Cecil J. Richmond. A book full of the -choicest new and original dialogues for Christmas, parts for both boys -and girls being well provided for. Some are for the little folks, in -rhyme, some are for intermediate grades, and others for older children. -Every dialogue in this book is decidedly to the point and easy to -prepare. They will delight young and old alike. Contents: Is There -a Santa Claus? 2 small children, Santa Claus and chorus; Herbert’s -Discovery, 2 boys; The Christmas Dinner, 2 little girls, 1 larger girl -and 2 boys; Playing Santa Claus, 1 small and 2 larger boys; A Double -Christmas Gift, 2 small girls, 2 larger girls, and 3 boys. Price, 15 -cents. - -=EVERGREEN AND HOLLY—SONG AND DRILL.= By Elizabeth F. Guptill. A drill -for any even number of boys and girls, or all girls. The girls carry -garlands of evergreen while the boys carry wreaths of the same. After a -spectacular drill and fancy march they all sing a beautiful Christmas -song, which accompanies the drill. Following the song they wind a -spiral to the center of the stage, unwind same and march off. Complete -instructions are given. It is the best Christmas drill ever published; -easy to produce and decidedly novel. Price, 15 cents. - -=PEARL’S CHRISTMAS.= Original, pleasing and interesting Christmas -dialogue with an excellent moral, for 3 boys and 4 girls. Price, 5 -cents; seven copies, 25 cents. - -=SITTING UP FOR SANTA CLAUS.= A humorous dialogue for 6 girls, 5 boys, -and Santa Claus. If you expect to have a Christmas entertainment, you -surely want this. Single copy, 10 cents; or 10 copies, 60 cents. - - Paine Publishing Company, Dayton, Ohio - - - - -READINGS AND RECITATIONS - - -=COMIC ENTERTAINER, THE.= An up-to-date collection of the choicest -humor. Such a variety in prose and poetry as to suit almost any -occasion. The book also contains four monologues, two for male and two -for female characters; also four short dialogues. Price, thirty cents. - -=HUMOROUS MONOLOGUES.= By Mayme R. Bitney. A fine collection of -twenty-nine original monologues designed for the use of the amateur -and the professional monologist. Practically suitable for ladies. The -author has brought out with skill the humorous incidents that help make -up the life of the country girl and woman, while the fashionable woman -of the city, who is interested in parties, teas and golf, is just as -truthfully depicted. Price, thirty cents. - -=THE EXCELLENT SCHOOL SPEAKER.= The “Excellent”—is true to name. A -book of over one hundred pages, especially compiled for us by C. S. -Bradford, containing selections of poetry and prose, new and fresh. -Full of good things. You can make no mistake in securing this speaker. -Price, fifteen cents. - -=HOWE’S COMIC SCHOOL SPEAKER.= Full of short, pithy, comic, and -humorous recitations. This book should be in every school. Price, -fifteen cents. - -=HOWE’S EXHIBITION SCHOOL SPEAKER.= Contains about one hundred pages of -selections of great range from the choicest literature of our country, -suitable for schools, homes and exhibitions. It is the best thing out. -Send for it. 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Also twenty-eight selections as follows: For Washington’s -Birthday (4). For Labor Day (4). For Memorial Day, Flag Day, and other -Patriotic Occasions (3). For Thanksgiving Day (8). For Christmas (9). -Price, thirty cents. - -=RECITATIONS FOR PRIMARY GRADES, ORIGINAL AND UNIQUE.= By Elizabeth F. -Guptill. A collection of an unusual sort. Every one is as interesting -as a story, and every one has a very decided point. Not a recitation in -the collection that is dull or impractical. Price, fifteen cents. - -=THE NORMAL SPEAKER.= A book suited to the wants of all, from the -smallest school-child to the oldest reader. Do you want the most -eloquent passages ever delivered by our greatest orators? Do you want -the most soul-stirring patriotism? Do you want the purest, tenderest -and most ennobling pathos? Do you want the most droll, eccentric and -ludicrous descriptions and characterizations? Do you want the richest, -rarest and most side-splitting humor? Do you want to arouse a new -interest in literature and elocution among your pupils? Do you want -the selections recited by the most eminent elocutionists? Do you want -the cream, the quintessence of all that is suitable for reading or -declaiming in schools, exhibitions, literary societies, picnics, or in -the family or private reading room? Buy the Normal Speaker and you will -be sure to find in it something that will supply your wants. Price, -thirty cents. - -Our large Entertainment Catalogue sent on request. - - PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY, DAYTON, OHIO. - - * * * * * - -Transcriber’s Notes: - -The back cover had a sticker over the top obscuring the first entry and -title. A duplicate advertisement was located and the words supplied -from that. - -Page 6, repeated word “of” removed from text (and some of her own) - -Back cover, “Chistmas” changed to “Christmas” (a beautiful Christmas) - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of That Awful Letter, by Edna I. 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MacKenzie. - </title> - <style type="text/css"> - -body { - margin-left: 10%; - margin-right: 10%; -} - - h1,h2 { - text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ - clear: both; -} - .faux { - font-size: 0.5em; /*this font size could be anything */ - visibility: hidden;} - -p { - margin-top: .75em; - text-align: justify; - text-indent: 1.25em; - margin-bottom: .75em; -} - - .maintitle {font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-indent: 0;} - .copyright {text-align: center; font-size: 70%; text-indent: 0;} - .adtitle2 {font-size: 150%; font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-indent: 0;} - .author {font-size: 120%; text-align: center; text-indent: 0;} - div.chapter {page-break-before: always;} - .sig {margin-right: 10%; text-align: right;} - - .bbox {border: double 4px; margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; padding-bottom: .5em; padding-top: .5em; - padding-left: .5em; padding-right: .5em;} - - .center {text-align: center; text-indent: 0;} - - .right {text-align: right; text-indent: 0;} - .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} - .blockquot { margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} - - .tnote {border: dashed 1px; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; padding-bottom: .5em; padding-top: .5em; - padding-left: .5em; padding-right: .5em; text-indent: 0;} - - .unindent {margin-top: .75em; - text-align: justify; - margin-bottom: .75em; - text-indent: 0;} -hr { - width: 33%; - margin-top: 1em; - margin-bottom: 1em; - margin-left: auto; - margin-right: auto; - clear: both; -} - -hr.chap {width: 65%} -hr.full {width: 95%;} - -ul { list-style-type: none; margin-left: 5%; } - -.pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ - /* visibility: hidden; */ - position: absolute; - left: 92%; - font-size: smaller; - text-align: right; - font-style: normal; - text-indent: 0;} /* page numbers */ - -/* Images */ - img {border: 0;} - -.figcenter { - margin: auto; - text-align: center; -} - - -@media handheld -{ - .chapter - { - page-break-before: always; - } - - h2.no-break - { - page-break-before: avoid; - padding-top: 0; - } - -} - - </style> - </head> -<body> - - -<pre> - -The Project Gutenberg EBook of That Awful Letter, by Edna I. MacKenzie - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: That Awful Letter - A Comedy for Girls - -Author: Edna I. MacKenzie - -Release Date: August 16, 2016 [EBook #52818] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THAT AWFUL LETTER *** - - - - -Produced by Emmy, MFR and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<h1 class="faux">That Awful -Letter</h1> -<div class="figcenter" style="width: 508px;"> -<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="508" height="800" alt="cover" /> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - - - - - - -<div class="center">Price 25 Cents<br /> -<br /> -PAINE’S<br /> -POPULAR PLAYS</div> - -<div class="maintitle">That Awful<br /> -Letter</div> - -<div class="center"><br /><br />Mac KENZIE<br /> -<br /> -PAINE PUBLISHING CO.<br /> -DAYTON, OHIO<br /> -<br /> -<small>NO PLAYS EXCHANGED</small> -</div> - - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="bbox"> -<div class="adtitle2">New Entertainment Songs<br /> - -<small>By Edna Randolph Worrell.</small></div> - - -<p>These songs can be used in all manner of entertainments. The music -is easy, and both music and words are especially catchy. Children like -them. Everybody likes them. Sheet music. Price 25 cents each. Five -copies, $1.00.</p> - -<p><b>WE HOPE YOU’VE BROUGHT YOUR SMILES ALONG.</b> A -welcome song that will at once put the audience in a joyous frame of -mind and create a happy impression that will mean half the success of -your entire program. Words, bright and inspiring. Music, catchy.</p> - -<p><b>WE’LL NOW HAVE TO SAY GOOD-BYE.</b> This beautiful song -has snap and go that will appeal alike to visitors and singers. It is just -the song to send your audience home with happy memories of the occasion.</p> - -<p><b>WE’VE JUST ARRIVED FROM BASHFUL TOWN.</b> This song -will bring memories to the listeners of their own bashful school days. -Words, unusually clever. Music, decidedly melodious. A capital welcome -song, or it may be sung at any time on the program with assured success.</p> - -<p><b>MY OWN AMERICA, I LOVE THEE.</b> A song that will bring -a thrill of patriotism to the heart of every one who hears it. The children -and grown-ups just can’t resist the catchy music. It makes a capital -marching song.</p> - -<p><b>COME AND PARTAKE OF OUR WELCOME CAKE.</b> A merry -welcome song and a jolly one, too. The audience will be immediately -curious about the Welcome Cake, and the children will love to surprise -the listeners with the catchy words. Music, easy and tuneful.</p> - -<p><b>LULLABY LANE.</b> The music and words blend so beautifully that -people will be humming the appealing strains long after they hear this -charming song. A wonderfully effective closing song, whether sung by -the school or as a solo by a little girl, with a chorus of other little girls -with dolls.</p> - -<p><b>JOLLY PICKANINNIES.</b> Words by Elizabeth F. Guptill. Music -by Edna R. Worrell. This spicy coon song will bring down the house, -especially if you use the directions for the motions which accompany the -music. The black faces and shining eyes of the pickaninnies will guarantee -a hit. The words are great and the music just right.</p> - -<p><b>THE LITTLE BIRD’S SECRET.</b> Here is just the song for those -two little folks to sing together. They won’t have to be coaxed to sing -it, especially when they find that the whole school is to whistle the chorus. -This is a decided novelty, and will prove a rare treat to your audience.</p> - -<p><b>A GARDEN ROMANCE.</b> This is a dainty little song telling of the -romance and wedding of Marigold and Sweet William. It is just the -song for dainty little girls to sing.</p> - -<p><b>COME TO THE NURSERY RHYME GARDEN AND PLAY.</b> -Here is something different for the little folks to sing. The Nursery -Rhyme Folk are so familiar to children, it will be no trick for them to -remember the words. The music has a most captivating swing.</p> - -<div class="center"> -<b>Paine Publishing Company - - Dayton, Ohio</b><br /> -</div></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[1]</a></span></p> - - - - -<div class="maintitle"> -That Awful Letter</div> -<div class="center"> -<i>A Comedy for Girls</i><br /> -<br /> -<br /> -BY<br /> -<span class="author">EDNA I. MAC KENZIE</span><br /> -<br /><br /> -——————<br /><br /><br /> -<span class="copyright"> -Copyright, 1919, by<br /> -PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY</span><br /> -<br /> -——————<br /><br /><br /> -PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY<br /> -<small>DAYTON, OHIO</small><br /> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a><br /><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span></p> - - - - -<div class="maintitle">THAT AWFUL LETTER</div> - -<div class="center">—————————</div> - -<h2>CHARACTERS</h2> - - - -<ul> -<li><span class="smcap">Margaret Neilson</span>—A Snobbish City Girl.</li> -<li><span class="smcap">Elizabeth Norton</span>—Her Country Cousin.</li> -<li><span class="smcap">Helen Montgomery</span>—Margaret’s Dearest Friend.</li> -<li><span class="smcap">Edith Browning</span>—A Friend of Elizabeth’s.</li> -<li><span class="smcap">Nora</span>—A Maid of Neilson’s</li> -</ul> - - -<div class="center"> -(This part may be taken by Edith Browning.)<br /> -<br /><br /><br /> -<span class="smcap">Time of Playing</span>—<i>About Forty Minutes.</i><br /> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span></p> - - -<div class="maintitle"><small>THAT AWFUL LETTER</small></div> - -<h2>SCENE I</h2> - - -<p>(<i>Sitting-room in Neilson’s house, well furnished. Margaret -overdressed, is sitting reading a magazine. She looks -up impatiently and throws it down in disgust.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—(<i>crossly.</i>) There’s no use in my trying to -read or do anything else when I’m so provoked. I don’t see -why dad can’t (<i>the bell rings</i>) Oh, drat that bell! I don’t -want to see any person. I wish people would stay at home. -(<i>Goes and looks out.</i>) Oh! it’s Helen! I wonder what she -wants now. She is always running over and I’m sure I’m -never over there any more than four times a day at the most. -(<i>Helen comes in and Margaret rushes to embrace her.</i>) Oh -Helen, you dear girl! I’m so glad to see you. I was just -wishing you would come over. Do take off your hat and -stay awhile. I’ve just been so mad I could boil over or bite -somebody or do something awful.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—Why, what is the matter with you? What are you -mad about? (<i>Aside, It seems to me she is always in hot -water or a stew about something.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—Well, sit down and I’ll tell you about it. -(<i>They sit down on a couch.</i>) It seems that dad has some -country relations somewhere in the backwoods. He’s had -them ever since he was born but he’s just remembering -them now. Well, it seems that there’s a girl about my age -and dad was looking over some old photos last night and -came across one of her when she was six years old. That -picture put him into the notion that he would like to see -that girl and nothing will do but I must write and ask her up.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span></p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—That won’t hurt you, will it? I think it would -be nice to have a girl visiting you. I know when Marian -Staddon was visiting me, we had a dandy time—parties, -dances, and heaps of things.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—Yes, but can’t you get anything into your -head? This is a cousin from the <i>backwoods</i> and just imagine -the kind of figure she’d cut in our set! Why, she’ll likely -have the oddest clothes and speak most horrible English and, -and—not know beans. And then that would spoil all our -plans for getting in with Edith Browning. The Brownings, -you know, are such an aristocratic family and are the -whole cheese since they moved to the city. I’m just crazy -to get in with them, but of course if they saw me with that -girl, that would spoil everything. Edith would know that -my father had sprung from common ordinary farmers and -we have just succeeded in making people think we had very -important ancestors.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—(<i>aside</i>) Gee! but isn’t she some snob. Well, -nobody is deceived I can vouch for that. (<i>aloud.</i>) I know -Edith Browning is the whole thing just at present. I’ve met -her several times and think she is lovely, (<i>pause</i>) not a bit -stuck up, you know. Of course we want to get in with her, -especially this winter when Beth Norton is going to visit her, -for everybody will be having parties and things for her.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—And pray, who is Beth Norton?</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—Don’t you know? Why, she is the girl that all the -girls at Erskine College were just crazy about. Why, they -say there’s never been a girl there before who was as popular. -And act! Why, she took the chief parts in all their<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span> -plays and the girls said she had any professional actress -beaten all to pieces. Oh yes, we must manage to get in -with them if we can. Now about your cousin, say, why -can’t you have her up for just a couple of days and keep her -out of the way?</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—Dad is bound that I’ll invite her up for two -weeks anyway. I can generally manage him pretty well, -but this time he’s as obstinate as a mule. I’m glad I didn’t -inherit his bad qualities.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—(<i>aside</i>) I think she has all of his and some of -her own to boot, (<i>aloud</i>) I have an idea. Write her such -a letter that if she has any sense at all she’ll know she’s not -wanted and then perhaps she won’t come.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—(<i>jumping up</i>) That <i>is</i> a good idea! Let’s -write it now. What shall we put into it? (<i>goes to a table -where there is paper and ink, sits down to write</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—(<i>going to the table</i>) Tell her that,—oh, I don’t -know. You ought to be good at that sort of thing. (<i>Margaret -looks up sharply</i>). Writing letters I mean. You can -write such splendid ones, you know. (<i>Margaret writes -awhile while Helen looks over her shoulder.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—(<i>rising</i>) There, that ought to do the trick. -What do you think of it?</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—Well, if she can’t take the hint from that that -she’s not wanted, she must be as dense as a—a fog! (<i>goes -to put on her hat.</i>) I must go for I promised to stay only a -few minutes. Good-bye (<i>goes towards the door</i>) I hope -your cousin won’t be too boorish if she does come.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span></p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—Good-bye. We’ll trust to luck. (<i>Helen disappears. -Margaret comes to centre of stage</i>) Well, that -letter <i>is</i> a good stunt, but my, wouldn’t dad be angry if he -knew! But I’ll chance it that he doesn’t find out. Now for -a toast. (<i>Pretends to drink.</i>) Here’s to the refusal of my -invitation to my country cousin.</p> - - -<div class="center">CURTAIN</div> - - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> -<h2>SCENE II</h2> - - -<p>(<i>A country kitchen. Elizabeth in middy and skirt, enters -slowly toward centre of stage, examining an envelope.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—(<i>still examining envelope.</i>) I wonder who -this letter’s from. I don’t know the writing and it’s from -New York City. But there’s lot of people I know there. Perhaps -it’s from one of those little girls at Erskine College that -were always getting a crush on us bigger girls and bothering -us to death with their gushing. Now, who is it from anyway? -(<i>laughing.</i>) Say, I never thought of it, but perhaps if I -opened it I’d find out. (<i>Opens and glances over it, and seems -amazed and reads very slowly aloud.</i>)</p> - -<div class="blockquot"> -<div class="right"> -14 Riverside Drive, New York City.</div> -<div class="unindent"> -Dear Cousin Elizabeth:<br /> -</div> - -<p>Father wished me to write and ask you to visit us for a -couple of weeks. I know that you really wouldn’t want to -come as you’d feel so shy and awkward in a city home and -among the girls in our set and doubtless you have no clothes -suitable for the city; but as he wished me to ask you, I -have done so.</p> - -<div class="sig"> -<span style="margin-right: 2em;">Yours truly,</span><br /> -Margaret Neilson.<br /> -</div></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span></p> - -<p>(<i>Elizabeth looks up bewildered.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—What a queer letter! I wonder if any of -the girls are playing a trick on me. (<i>thinks.</i>) Now, I have it. -I’ve heard mother mention her brother, Jerry Neilson, who -went to the city and his aristocratic wife made him cut his -country relations when they got rich. So this must be from -my cousin. But how could any girl write such a rude, insolent -letter like that! She certainly was forced to write -against her will. I bet her father never saw that letter. It -would serve her right if I sent it to him. I’d feel out of -place in a city home and in her set! Well, (<i>laughing</i>) that’s -a joke, when I’ve been in some of the best homes in New -York City. I wonder what Edith Browning would say to -that and a lot of the other girls at dear old Erskine. Well, -my dear cousin, I’ll just write you a polite note of refusal.</p> - -<p>(<i>Goes to table and writes, then reads aloud</i>).</p> - -<p>“Miss Edith Norton regrets with pleasure the sincerely -cordial and hospitable invitation of Miss Margaret Neilson.” -Oh, (<i>suddenly jumping and clapping her hands.</i>) I’ve an -idea! I’ll accept my kind and hospitable cousin’s invitation -since she’s so anxious to have me and since she expects me -to be such a queer freak from the backwoods, it would be -too bad to disappoint her, so I’ll dress and act the part of -the poor country cousin she’s looking for. Oh, (<i>dancing -around</i>) it will be heaps of fun. I’ll stay there a day and -then I’ll pay Edith Browning that visit I’ve promised her -for ages. (<i>Going towards the exit.</i>) The girls at Erskine -always said I was a born actress and now I’ll have the -chance to prove whether they were just flattering me or -not. (<i>Stops and glances at the address, 14 Riverside Drive.</i>)<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span> -Why, Mildred Ewing lives just a couple houses from there. -I’ll dress there and just slip over when the coast is clear. -There’s some of my masquerade costumes up in the attic. -I’ll run and see if I can find something suitable for my new -role. Say, but won’t I lead my dear cousin a merry dance! -(<i>Laughs and runs off the stage.</i>)</p> - - -<div class="center">CURTAIN</div> - - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> -<h2>SCENE III</h2> - -<p>(<i>Sitting room in Neilson’s house. Margaret is seated doing -fancywork. Helen comes in and Margaret rushes to meet -her.</i>)</p> - - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—Say, what’s up now that you had to have me -come over in such a hurry? Have you any startling news? -(<i>Both go towards centre.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—Oh Helen, I’m in a terrible fix and all over -that awful letter you made me write to—</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—(<i>interrupting indignantly.</i>) I made you write!</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—Yes, to Elizabeth—or Lizzie as I guess she’s -called. Would you ever think she’d accept that invitation?</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—No, she hasn’t, has she?</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—Yes, she has and here’s her answer. (<i>shows -her a letter written on some very brightly colored paper or -wrapping paper.</i>) Just look at the spelling and the style! -Wouldn’t it crimp you? And just wait until I read it to you -(<i>begins to read, while Helen follows her over her shoulder -and giggles all through the reading of it.</i>)<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span></p> - -<div class="blockquot"> -<div class="unindent"> -Dear Maggie—(<i>Isn’t that abominable?</i>)—<br /> -</div> - -<p>I’ve been wanting ter visit the city ever since I was skin -high to a grasshopper, but didn’t know I had any kin in the -city that I could visit. It’s awferlly kind of youse to ask -me and I’ll be there as sure as guns this coming Wednesday. -I jest got some new clothes made by Susannah Sparks and -they’re mighty stylish, I kin tell yer. I aint a bit bashful so -youse kin invite all the people in youse like. I’d like ter meet -yer friends awful well. Remember me to yer pap.</p> - -<div class="sig"> -<span style="margin-right: 2em;">Yers to a sliver,</span><br /> -Lizzie Norton.<br /> -</div></div> - -<p>(<i>throws the letter down on the table in disgust and makes -a face.</i>) Isn’t that perfectly awful? That means she’ll be -here to-morrow and oh, she must be dreadful! And what if -she should tell dad about that awful letter we wrote! Oh, -why did I do it, and whatever will I do? (<i>Sinks down in -chair and begins to cry.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—(<i>going over and putting her arm around her.</i>) -Oh, cheer up! Things might be worse. You can manage to -avoid the girls for awhile and you can give Lizzie books to -read or something to keep her in the background and out of -mischief.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—(<i>drying her eyes.</i>) It’s a good thing she isn’t -coming today for you know I’ve invited Edith Browning -for tea and I want to be on my best behavior and be as nice -as I can so as to make a good impression. If Lizzie were -here, I would be mortified to death. (<i>bell rings behind -stage.</i>) Oh, there’s the bell. It’s too early for Edith. I -wonder who it is. (<i>goes to the door and looks out.</i>) There’s<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span> -Nora answering the door now. (<i>throws up her hands in -horror.</i>) Good heavens, who can that awful person be!</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—What person? (<i>Goes and looks too and giggles.</i>) -Goodness, I bet she’s escaped from some asylum. But -listen, Nora’s going to settle her. (<i>both listen at door.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Nora</span>—(<i>behind the scenes</i>) Yez can’t come in here. This -is no place for the likes of ye. Ye’d better thry the asylum -where ye belong.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—(<i>behind the scenes</i>) Yer’d better go there -yerself. Let me tell yer that I kin come in if I want ter. I’ve -come to visit my Uncle Jerry and yer needn’t think a red-haired -freckled flip of a thing like yer can stop me. Now -stop making a door of yerself and let me through or I’ll tell -my cousin Maggie on yer.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—Good heavens, here she comes! (<i>Drags Margaret -to front of stage where they both fall limp into chairs.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—Merciful powers, it’s Lizzie! Isn’t she—(<i>Elizabeth -appears at door, dressed in a most ridiculous -fashion and carries an old-fashioned telescope and a big -satchel. Both girls sit staring at her.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—(<i>Rushing up to them and throwing down -her telescope</i>) Helloa, girls! Be one of youse my cousin -Maggie? I’m Lizzie Norton. I got a chance ter come up a -day earlier so I didn’t think it would make any odds. (<i>The -girls have jumped to their feet thunder-struck.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—(<i>looks from one to the other</i>) Say, what’s -the matter with youse? Be youse both deef and dumb?<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span></p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—(<i>extending her hand which Elizabeth seizes</i>) -I’m <i>Margaret</i> Neilson so I suppose you must be my cousin -Lizzie. We were not expecting you until to-morrow. (<i>Aside -to Helen.</i>) Oh, Helen, isn’t she perfectly dreadful?</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—(<i>aside to Margaret</i>) Well, I should say! And -her clothes sure are the latest style as there’s never been any -like them—yet!</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—(<i>tugging at the elastic on her hat</i>) Well, -youse didn’t tell me ter take off my hat, but I guess I’ll make -myself ter hum. (<i>Takes off her hat and throws it on the -couch and stares around.</i>) My, aint everything here perfectly -grand! (<i>Goes around the room.</i>) Youse folks must be -pretty stylish. Now, ter home us folks aint never seen such -nice things. (<i>Turns suddenly.</i>) Say, how’s Uncle Jerry, -Maggie?</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—If you’re referring to my father, his name is -J. Ernest Neilson, so please call him Uncle Ernest. As for -myself, I detest the name of Maggie. <i>Do</i> call me Margaret.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—Oh, yer rather peppery aint yer? I’m sure -Jerry is just as good a name as yer kin find anywhere. -Why, we named our old white horse that and a better horse -yer couldn’t have. As for Maggie, our black and white -spotted cow is called that and she gives more milk than any -of them. (<i>Margaret looks more and more disgusted and -Helen amused.</i>) Say, aint you going to interduce me to -your friend? At hum we always interduce everybody to -everybody else.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—I beg your pardon. This is my friend, Miss -Helen Montgomery. (<i>Helen raises her hand very high and -Elizabeth pulls it down and shakes it heartily.</i>)<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span></p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—Please ter meet you, Helly. I suspect I’ll -get real acquainted with yer before my visit’s over. Yer -don’t look quite as stuck-uppish as my cousin there. (<i>Margaret -makes a face while Helen laughs.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—I feel greatly complimented, I’m sure. (<i>Aside</i>) -She’s summed up Margaret pretty well for a green country -girl.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—(<i>examining the girl’s clothes</i>) Say, girls, yer -dressed up mighty swell. Be yer going to a party?</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—(<i>proudly</i>) Why, no, these are just our every-day -clothes.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—(<i>in surprise</i>). You don’t say! (<i>Smoothing -down her own dress proudly.</i>) Don’t you like my new dress? -(<i>Margaret looks disdainful.</i>) I was bound to have Susannah -make it stylish and put in all the pleats and frills she could. -I think she made a real good job of it, don’t youse?</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—(<i>sarcastically</i>) Why, yes, I think it is beautiful -(<i>looking at Elizabeth’s hat</i>) and what a lovely hat you have -and so becoming. (<i>Turns her back to laugh.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—(<i>getting the hat and turning it around in -her hand</i>) Yes, I think it mighty nice and so should it be -for it was awferlly expensive. I paid $1.98 for the shape -itself at (<i>names a local milliner</i>) and I trimmed it myself. -(<i>Puts it back on sofa. Helen and Margaret sit down.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—(<i>aside</i>) It wouldn’t need a detective to make -that discovery, that’s one thing sure.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—(<i>unfastening satchel and taking out a gaily -colored centre-piece</i>) Now, I’ll jest set down and work at<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span> -this centre-piece. (<i>Sits down in rocking chair and works.</i>) -I’m going to give it to you, Mag—<i>Margaret</i>, I mean, for yer -parler table.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—(<i>aside</i>) Oh, gee, imagine that on our highly -polished table. I guess it will be more likely to adorn the -attic. (<i>aloud</i>) Oh, that’s very nice of you. By the way, -how did you find your way here?</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—Oh yes, how did you when you had never been -in the city before?</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—Well, now, I did have a mighty hard time -of it at first. I asked one of them policemen if he could -tell me where Uncle Jer—where Mr. J. Ernest Neilson -lived and he just laughed at me. (<i>She keeps rocking.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—Well, I should think he would. Didn’t you know -any better than that?</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—(<i>still sewing</i>) Why, I was told that them -policemen could answer any kind of a question. At hum -everybody knows where everybody else lives so I thought -it would be the same here. (<i>Both girls laugh.</i>) Anyway he -asked what his address was and I showed him the top of -yer letter.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—(<i>in horror</i>) You didn’t show him my letter!</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—Sure and he must have got a good squint at -what was in it, too, for he looked so funny. Well he told -me to get into one of them street car things, and the feller -who was all dressed up in brass buttons and took the tickets -told me when to get into another so it was real easy. But -I think the people here are dreadfully imperlite. They kept<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span> -giggling and giggling. I asked one what the joke was and -she grew awfully red and didn’t answer. I think it’s mighty -rude not to tell other folks the joke, why down to hum—(<i>looks -up just as the girls are turning up their noses</i>). Say, -what’s the matter with your noses? Have they nervous -twitches in them? Get a bottle of Dr. Cure-all’s syrup of -tar at (<i>name of local druggist</i>) and it will soon stop that for -it cured my cold. (<i>Rising and throwing fancy work on -chair.</i>) Laws a me, I’m awfully thirsty. Where’s the -kitchen (<i>goes towards door, Margaret starts up</i>). Never -mind coming. I’ll just use the dipper so you don’t need to -get me a glass.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—Well, tell Nora to get you a drink. (<i>Exit -Elizabeth</i>). Oh Helen, I never saw anybody so common—</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—(<i>interrupting</i>). Why she’s the most <i>un</i>common -specimen I ever met in all my life.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—(<i>proceeding</i>)—and horrid before—and oh, -(<i>jumping up in consternation</i>), I forgot all about Edith -coming. She’ll be here soon now and I simply must get -Lizzie out of the way before she comes. Oh Helen, (<i>putting -her arm around her</i>), hurry up and think up something to -help me out of this hole.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—(<i>aside</i>), And she was so grateful when I tried -to help her the last time. But she’s in a pretty tight box now -so I guess I’ll have to try and patch it up. I wish her <i>important -ancestors</i> had given her some brains. (<i>Aloud.</i>) Oh, tell -her—tell her—. Now let me think (<i>thinks for a minute and -suddenly grabs Margaret’s arm</i>). I have it. Tell her that -you know she must be very tired after her long journey and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span> -that you’re sure she would like to rest and have tea quietly -in her own room. Nora could take it up on a tray. Lizzie -will think it’s so considerate of you, I’m pretty sure, and the -novelty of having things sent up to her might appeal to -her. Let’s try it anyway.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—All right. I’d try anything. (<i>Elizabeth appears.</i>) -But here she comes now. (<i>Elizabeth comes toward -centre and Margaret goes to meet her and puts her arm -around Elizabeth’s waist</i>). Oh Lizzie, I know you must be -pretty tired after your long journey. I think perhaps you -had better rest quietly until tea time. Then I’ll tell Nora -to fix you up a nice dainty tray and you’ll be under no nervous -strain at all.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—Me tired after that speck of a ride on the -train! Why I’ve saw me walk five miles ter town and go -home and milk ten cows and not be a bit the worse for it. -And talk about nerves. Well I may be <i>nervy</i> but I aint got -them nerves that make people act like sillies. Now I’ll just -go up and put on my red chiny silk dress Susannah fixed -up that stylish with yeller bows and six frills and point de -spit lace. It will only take me a few minutes and I’ll be -down in lots of time for supper. (<i>Gets valise and goes -towards exit, then stops at one end of stage</i>), (<i>Aside</i>), I -guess it’s time that I ended this farce. I think I’ve given -my dear cousin a pretty strong jolt, judging from her face -and actions. Gee, she’s the limit all right. Anyway, I had -better change into a decent dress as I would hate to offend -Uncle Jerry—I mean <i>Uncle J. Ernest Neilson</i> (<i>exit Elizabeth</i>).</p> - -<p>(<i>Margaret sits moodily in chair with head propped on -knees. Helen sits toying with some fancy work.</i>)<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span></p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—For goodness sake, Margaret, cheer up, you’re -not dead yet!</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—I wish I were. What am I going to do? -and Edith is due any minute. I wonder what made Lizzie -strike today.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—(<i>explosively</i>) Well, do you know, I like her!</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—(<i>in surprise</i>) Do you really? Well, I believe -I do myself. There’s something rather refreshing about -her and she’s so frank and good-natured. She doesn’t bear -the least grudge for that horrid letter we sent. Perhaps she -doesn’t see anything wrong with it though. Oh, whatever -made me do it? I feel as mean as dirt everytime I think of -it. I’d give anything if I had never written it.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—Yes, I guess it was pretty shabby, but what’s -done cannot be undone. Anyway, I don’t suppose she knows -enough to take offense at it. (<i>Starting up.</i>) Oh, I have an -idea!</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—(<i>moodily</i>), I notice that you do catch on to -one once in a while. Well let’s hear it.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—(<i>aside in disgust</i>) Now, wouldn’t that crimp -you! She couldn’t find an idea all by herself in a thousand -years. (<i>Aloud</i>). Why, I was just thinking that Lizzie -would look quite pretty if she had a decent dress to wear -and was fixed up some. Now, what’s to hinder you lending -her one of your pretty dresses and doing her hair in some -becoming fashion? I bet she wouldn’t look bad at all.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—Why, she wouldn’t. I’ll go right up now -and do it (<i>starts toward exit</i>), or she’ll be coming down in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span> -some awful concoction of a dress. Oh, dear, I feel awfully -nervous.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—Did you hear what she said about nerves? The -very idea, when nerves are all the go now. (<i>Bell rings</i>). Oh, -there’s Edith now. I wish she had stayed away for half -an hour longer.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—So do I. And however will I manage to fix -Lizzie up now?</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—Talk for a few minutes and then excuse yourself -and I’ll entertain Edith until you come back.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—(<i>warmly</i>) Helen, you’re a dear and just full -of ideas. I don’t know what I’d do without you. (<i>Goes out</i>).</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—(<i>aside dramatically</i>), Behold the expanding of -Miss Margaret Neilson’s character. She is actually wakening -up to what I am trying to do for her and has even expressed -one grain of gratitude. Well I guess I’ll hang on to -the grain, perhaps it will sprout. (<i>Sees Lizzie’s hat and -fancy work.</i>) Goodness I’d better get these out of sight or -they’d be a sure giveaway. (<i>Runs and thrusts fancy work -under a cushion and throws hat behind couch. Margaret -appears arm in arm with Edith who is well but quietly -dressed. Helen goes to meet them.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—You know Helen Montgomery don’t you, -Miss Browning?</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Edith</span>—Oh call me Edith, it’s more sociable and I’ll call -you Margaret. Why yes, (<i>shaking hands with Helen</i>), I -have met you several times, haven’t I? Coming to a new<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span> -city it takes a person quite awhile to get acquainted, but I’m -managing not too badly.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—Why, I should say not. You have made hosts of -friends already from all accounts.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Edith</span>—Yes, everybody has been awfully kind to me and -then I’d met several people when I was at Erskine. (<i>All girls -take seats, Edith sitting where she can see the exit by turning -slightly.</i>) I hope you girls weren’t expecting me any sooner. -I had some shopping to do and that delayed me.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—Oh, that’s all right, but we were just saying -we wish you’d hurry up so that we could have a nice, long -chat about everything before supper, so—</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—(<i>interrupting</i>) Oh, Edith, do tell us about some -of the jolly times you had at Erskine College. I’m just -aching to hear about them. (<i>Draws chair closer to Edith</i>).</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—Yes, please do! (<i>Draws her chair closer</i>).</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Edith</span>—Why, I could tell you lots, but really I wouldn’t -know where to begin and once I began, I wouldn’t know -where to stop. For one thing we used to have midnight suppers -whenever one of the girls would get a box from home. -We’d all meet in one room and have nothing but candles -for a light and when we heard anyone coming, we would -have to blow them out, quick as wink. Oh, but it was exciting -when we heard any footsteps outside! There’d be a -wild scamper, I can tell you.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen and Margaret</span>—I guess there would be. What -would you do?<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span></p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Edith</span>—Everybody would grab the first thing that came -handy and we’d make ourselves as small as possible. We’d -squeeze four or five into bed with the eats and a few under -while the rest would get into a closet. One of the girls -would snore and the teacher would think she was asleep -and pass on. It was pretty hard on the eats, though, being -grabbed in such a hurry and getting all crushed up, but then -it was lots of excitement and fun.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—What else did you do?</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Edith</span>—Well, we put on some pretty good amateur plays. -Beth Norton, was simply grand in anything like that. Say, -(<i>with enthusiasm</i>) you just ought to know Beth. She’s the -dearest girl out. Everybody raved over her at Erskine. She -was just bubbling over with fun and mischief and kept -things lively all the time. She was so good-hearted and kind -too and had the most forgiving nature. One girl said she -was so full of fun that there wasn’t a speck of room for -spite to lodge in.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—She must be lovely. I’d like awfully well to -meet her.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Edith</span>—Well, I don’t see why you couldn’t for I just got -a letter from her and she said she was going to visit me in -a couple days. She said she was visiting some snobbish -cousin of hers who needs to be taken down a peg or two. -I’d love to see her do it, but I wouldn’t like to be the cousin, -I can tell you.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—No, nor I either, but those people who put -on such airs ought to have it taken out of them some way -or other. I wonder who she is.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span></p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Edith</span>—I don’t know. Beth wouldn’t think of giving her -away. (<i>Helen stares fixedly at Margaret and nods. Margaret -rises</i>).</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—I wonder if you’d excuse me for a few minutes. -I have some things I must attend to.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Edith</span>—Why of course. Don’t hurry back. (<i>Gazes at -Margaret starting to go out. Elizabeth appears at exit very -daintily dressed.</i>)</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Edith</span>—(<i>rushing past Margaret seizes Elizabeth and hugs -her</i>), Why Beth, you dear girl, (<i>pulls her towards centre</i>), -wherever did you come from? The girls were just saying -they didn’t know you. (<i>Margaret and Helen both stand in -amazement.</i>) That’s funny.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—Oh, helloa Edith! I didn’t know you knew -my cousin. I’m just staying here until to-morrow and then -I’m going to your place for awhile.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Edith</span>—(<i>aside in horror</i>), So this Margaret Neilson is -the snob Beth is to take down a peg. Good gracious, but -I’ve put my foot into it. (<i>Edith and Beth go to one side and -eagerly converse in low tones</i>).</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—(<i>to Helen</i>), Lizzie, Beth Norton! Why -whatever does it mean anyway? (<i>thinks</i>), How can she be -one and the same person? Oh, oh, I see it now. The names -are both nicknames and I never imagined my cousin Elizabeth -was the much talked of Beth. And so I’m the snob that -Edith said Beth was to take down a peg! (<i>Pauses</i>) And the -worst of it is I know I deserve it after that horrible letter. -I don’t deserve to have her ever speak to me again.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span></p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—But, whatever did she mean by dressing up like -that!</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—Why, don’t you see? Didn’t you say that -when she acted, she had all the professionals beaten to -pieces? Well, she’s acted that country gawk I inferred in -that letter to take me down that peg. Gee, she’s taken me -down a whole bunch of them. And oh look how we treated -her since she came. Oh, Helen, I’m so ashamed. I wish -there was a hole in the floor so that I could crawl into it.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span>—(<i>aside</i>), Thank goodness, she’s admitted that -much. There’s hope for her yet. (<i>Aloud.</i>) We both acted -awfully mean and for my part I’m going to take my pill and -swallow it.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—I will too. It’s mighty bitter, but the worse -the medicine tastes, as a rule, the better are the results. I’ll -never—(<i>Elizabeth comes up to her</i>).</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—Well, Mag—Margaret, I guess it’s up to me -to explain. You see when I got your letter which showed -me so plainly that you considered any person brought up in -the country was some sort of a curiosity and nothing but -an ignoramus, I thought I would come and explain to you -that the farmers of today are among the best educated and -most wealthy people there are and their daughters are receiving -the very best advantages that can be gotten. But -when I read your letter over, I couldn’t resist the temptation -of acting the awkward gawk of a specimen you expected. -Did I succeed?</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Margaret</span>—Succeed! Oh goodness, it was awful. (<i>Sinks -into a chair and starts to cry</i>), Oh, Liz—Beth, I mean. I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span> -know I’ve been as nasty and snobbish as I could. And you -don’t know how mean I’ve felt ever since I wrote that awful, -awful letter. I’ve wished again and again that I’d never -been so rude and horrid. Will you ever forgive me? (<i>Cries</i>).</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—(<i>Putting her arm around her</i>), Oh, cheer up, -Margaret, of course I’ll forgive you; you just need some of -your notions changed. That’s all. And when it comes to forgiving, -perhaps I’d better ask you to forgive me for playing -such a trick on you. (<i>Aside, laughing</i>), But, gee it was the -best fun I’ve had for ages. Their shocked faces! (<i>laugh</i>), -their turned up noses, (<i>laughs</i>), their open disgust. Oh -glory, it was worth a circus to see them.</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Edith</span>—Well, let’s forget everything that’s been done -and said and begin all over again. I think we’ll be great -friends. Let’s shake over it. (<i>She takes Helen’s hand, Elizabeth -takes Margaret’s and they stand with crossed hands in -front of stage</i>).</p> - - -<p><span class="smcap">Elizabeth</span>—Oh girls, see how our hands are crossed; I -wonder who’s going to be married first.</p> - - -<div class="center"> -CURTAIN<br /> -</div> - - -<hr class="full" /> - -<div class="adtitle2">Christmas Entertainments</div> - - -<p><b>CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER.</b> A new Christmas play by Elizabeth -F. Guptill that abounds in clean, wholesome fun from beginning to end. -It depicts the trials of the teacher of an old-fashioned “deestric school” in -conducting the last rehearsal for the Christmas Entertainment. Some of the -pupils are in “custom,” as big Jake puts it, and “Sandy Claus” is there. The -children go through their parts with gusto and more or less success. May be -given in any schoolroom by any number. Easy to produce. Costumes simple. -Children and grown-ups will be delighted with CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN -HOLLER. Price, 15 cents.</p> - -<p><b>A TOPSY TURVY CHRISTMAS.</b> Another new Christmas play by -Elizabeth F. Guptill. It is decidedly humorous from start to finish. The -characters are strong and at every turn of the play there is a happy surprise -for the audience. The children are tired of “minding,” and the everything being -“just so,” so they start to find a place where they will find things different. -They find it in Topsy Turvy Land, where they have strange experiences. -When at last they have a Topsy Turvy Christmas, they are ready to go home -and be satisfied with things just as they are. May be given in any schoolroom -by any number of children not less than fifteen. In two short scenes. -This clever play will prove a sure winner wherever produced. Price, 15 cents.</p> - -<p><b>CHRISTMAS AT McCARTHY’S.</b> Elizabeth P. Guptill. Here is a new -Christmas play for the older children and as many young children as are -available. It combines in a marked degree the gentlest pathos and the most -sparkling humor. Several nationalities are represented in the tenement and -there is opportunity for the introduction of specialties if desired. Circumstances -cause Elsie, the tenement orphan, to believe Jimmy, the newsboy, will -buy her a Christmas present, and it seems it is up to Jimmy to do it. Christmas -is an unknown quantity at the tenement, but all agree that Elsie must not -be disappointed, and plan to have one somehow. The entertainment is given -by the “inhabitints thimsilves,” at McCarthy’s. In the midst of the fun, -Elsie’s lost father walks in, and the finale is a general rejoicing. Price, 25c.</p> - -<p><b>CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES.</b> By Cecil J. Richmond. A book full of the -choicest new and original dialogues for Christmas, parts for both boys and -girls being well provided for. Some are for the little folks, in rhyme, some -are for intermediate grades, and others for older children. Every dialogue in -this book is decidedly to the point and easy to prepare. They will delight -young and old alike. Contents: Is There a Santa Claus? 2 small children, -Santa Claus and chorus; Herbert’s Discovery, 2 boys; The Christmas Dinner, -2 little girls, 1 larger girl and 2 boys; Playing Santa Claus, 1 small and 2 -larger boys; A Double Christmas Gift, 2 small girls, 2 larger girls, and 3 -boys. Price, 15 cents.</p> - -<p><b>EVERGREEN AND HOLLY—SONG AND DRILL.</b> By Elizabeth F. -Guptill. A drill for any even number of boys and girls, or all girls. The -girls carry garlands of evergreen while the boys carry wreaths of the same. -After a spectacular drill and fancy march they all sing a beautiful Christmas -song, which accompanies the drill. Following the song they wind a spiral to -the center of the stage, unwind same and march off. Complete instructions -are given. It is the best Christmas drill ever published; easy to produce and -decidedly novel. Price, 15 cents.</p> - -<p><b>PEARL’S CHRISTMAS.</b> Original, pleasing and interesting Christmas -dialogue with an excellent moral, for 3 boys and 4 girls. Price, 5 cents; -seven copies, 25 cents.</p> - -<p><b>SITTING UP FOR SANTA CLAUS.</b> A humorous dialogue for 6 girls, -5 boys, and Santa Claus. If you expect to have a Christmas entertainment, -you surely want this. Single copy, 10 cents; or 10 copies, 60 cents.</p> - -<div class="center"> -<b>Paine Publishing Company, Dayton, Ohio</b><br /><br /> -</div> - - - -<div class="bbox"> -<div class="adtitle2">READINGS AND RECITATIONS</div> - - -<p><b>COMIC ENTERTAINER, THE.</b> An up-to-date -collection of the choicest humor. Such a variety in prose and -poetry as to suit almost any occasion. The book also contains four monologues, -two for male and two for female characters; also four short dialogues. -Price, thirty cents.</p> - -<p><b>HUMOROUS MONOLOGUES.</b> By Mayme R. Bitney. A fine collection -of twenty-nine original monologues designed for the use of the amateur -and the professional monologist. Practically suitable for ladies. The -author has brought out with skill the humorous incidents that help make -up the life of the country girl and woman, while the fashionable woman of -the city, who is interested in parties, teas and golf, is just as truthfully -depicted. Price, thirty cents.</p> - -<p><b>THE EXCELLENT SCHOOL SPEAKER.</b> The “Excellent”—is true -to name. A book of over one hundred pages, especially compiled for us -by C. S. Bradford, containing selections of poetry and prose, new and fresh. -Full of good things. You can make no mistake in securing this speaker. -Price, fifteen cents.</p> - -<p><b>HOWE’S COMIC SCHOOL SPEAKER.</b> Full of short, pithy, comic, -and humorous recitations. This book should be in every school. Price, -fifteen cents.</p> - -<p><b>HOWE’S EXHIBITION SCHOOL SPEAKER.</b> Contains about one -hundred pages of selections of great range from the choicest literature of -our country, suitable for schools, homes and exhibitions. It is the best -thing out. Send for it. Price, fifteen cents.</p> - -<p><b>THE JUVENILE SPEAKER.</b> Every piece in this little book can be -used and is worthy of its place in this useful work. It is undoubtedly the -best book of the kind, for the money, published; and is highly recommended -by teachers everywhere. Price, twenty cents.</p> - -<p><b>LITTLE PIECES FOR LITTLE PEOPLE.</b> Each set has twenty -cards containing twenty-nine bright, pretty recitations for boys and girls, -from five to ten years of age. Teachers like the pieces because of their -convenient form. Being printed on cards, all wearisome copying is avoided. -Price, fifteen cents.</p> - -<p><b>MONOLOGUES FOR YOUNG FOLKS.</b> By Mayme Riddle Bitney. -Fifty-four original, clever, humorous monologues for young people from -six to sixteen, or for monologists who impersonate children. A recitation -may be a recounting of incidents, but a monologue has action; it becomes -alive, and you are carried along with intense interest. A great variety -of subjects. Also twenty-eight selections as follows: For Washington’s -Birthday (4). For Labor Day (4). For Memorial Day, Flag Day, and -other Patriotic Occasions (3). For Thanksgiving Day (8). For Christmas -(9). Price, thirty cents.</p> - -<p><b>RECITATIONS FOR PRIMARY GRADES, ORIGINAL AND -UNIQUE.</b> By Elizabeth F. Guptill. A collection of an unusual sort. -Every one is as interesting as a story, and every one has a very decided -point. Not a recitation in the collection that is dull or impractical. Price, -fifteen cents.</p> - -<p><b>THE NORMAL SPEAKER.</b> A book suited to the wants of all, from -the smallest school-child to the oldest reader. Do you want the most -eloquent passages ever delivered by our greatest orators? Do you want the -most soul-stirring patriotism? Do you want the purest, tenderest and -most ennobling pathos? Do you want the most droll, eccentric and ludicrous -descriptions and characterizations? Do you want the richest, rarest -and most side-splitting humor? Do you want to arouse a new interest in -literature and elocution among your pupils? Do you want the selections -recited by the most eminent elocutionists? Do you want the cream, the -quintessence of all that is suitable for reading or declaiming in schools, -exhibitions, literary societies, picnics, or in the family or private reading -room? Buy the Normal Speaker and you will be sure to find in it something -that will supply your wants. Price, thirty cents.</p> - -<p>Our large Entertainment Catalogue sent on request.</p> - -<div class="center"> -<b>PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY, DAYTON, OHIO.</b><br /> -</div></div> - -<hr class="full" /> -<div class="tnote"><div class="center"> -<b>Transcriber’s Notes:</b></div> - -<p>The back cover had a sticker over the top obscuring the first entry and title. A -duplicate advertisement was located and the words supplied from that.</p> - -<p>Page 6, repeated word “of” removed from text (and some of -her own)</p> - -<p>Back cover, “Chistmas” changed to “Christmas” (a beautiful Christmas)</p> -</div> - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of That Awful Letter, by Edna I. 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