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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. 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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: Handyman - -Author: Frank Banta - -Release Date: March 24, 2016 [EBook #51546] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HANDYMAN *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="387" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> -<h1>HANDYman</h1> - -<p>By FRANK BANTA</p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Galaxy Magazine August 1962.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph3"><i>They didn't have to worry about a thing<br /> -for the rest of their natural lives....</i></p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>James Ypsilanti swung at the door with the steak cuber. Or was it -the cube steaker? No matter. The door was a good, hardwood door and -resisted his onslaught well. But time was on his side.</p> - -<p>He had the energy and the time, he knew, and sooner or later the door -would be kindling.</p> - -<p>It was the door to his room. It was evident to him that he did not need -the door to his room and that he <i>did</i> need heat. In fact he had better -get some heat pretty soon—although he was keeping warm enough for the -present by beating on the door. So he would beat this door to kindling, -and then he would build a nice, cozy fire in the hall that would keep -him warm for a long time ... if he was stingy with his fuel.</p> - -<p>The carpenter came by. The carpenter was always coming by, except when -you wanted him, Jim realized. The carpenter was a mighty, mighty busy -fellow.</p> - -<p>The carpenter stopped short when he saw Jim demolishing the door. In -fact he came to a grinding halt.</p> - -<p>"Jim, why didn't you tell me!"</p> - -<p>"Carpenter, how was I to know where you were? Who can ever find you?"</p> - -<p>"I know Jim. Jim, you work so hard!"</p> - -<p>"Yes!" he said, pounding.</p> - -<p>"Take this hatchet, Jim. A hatchet is what you demolish doors with! -Good-by." The carpenter departed.</p> - -<p>James Ypsilanti swung on the door with his newly acquired hatchet. Soon -he was ready for his fire. He struck a match, and in no time had the -pile of varnished kindling blazing smokily in the hall. He held his -hands over the blaze.</p> - -<p>"Ah, good, good. Good." He closed his eyes. "What could be better than -this?" Then he opened them again regretfully. "It's dinner time. I'd -better fix it while I have my fire going." He hurried to the kitchen -and chose a can of eggs-bacon-and-pancakes from the massive stores.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Opening the large can, he heated it over his hall fire. Then he dumped -the contents on his tin plate and ate.</p> - -<p> - -<!-- Autogenerated TOC. Modify or delete as required. --> - - -<!-- End Autogenerated TOC. --> - -</p> - -<p>"Murder," he thought somberly. "That's what I'm in for. Practically -murder with consent. She said she couldn't live without me. Margie -begged me to kill her, you might as well say. Good old Margie; a good -kid, but I killed her. And now.... Well, that's life!" He speared a -pancake.</p> - -<p>"Damn, but it's <i>cold</i>!" He threw an armload of wood on the fire and it -blazed up. "Sure wish these carpenters had feelings. My lord, they got -no feelings at all!"</p> - -<p>The carpenter arrived with a new hardwood door. Whistling cheerily, he -began to install it where the other one had just been hatcheted away.</p> - -<p>"Carpenter, that door won't be staying there long. I'm almost out of -fuel."</p> - -<p>"I hope you don't expect me to be surprised, Jim, if this door doesn't -last very long. The previous twenty-two doors at this location, -Jim, did not last very long either." Still whistling to himself, he -installed the last of the hinge screws.</p> - -<p>"Why don't you just <i>give</i> me the doors, instead of causing yourself -all this work?" demanded James Ypsilanti.</p> - -<p>"'Inmates will not be issued materials,' Jim. I've quoted that section -of the rules to you many times, Jim."</p> - -<p>"But couldn't you just <i>lean</i> the door up against the door jamb and -leave it?" argued the inmate. "You go to a ridiculous amount of -trouble."</p> - -<p>"It is not ridiculous, Jim. I am a carpenter, Jim. Good-by."</p> - -<p>After lunch, James Ypsilanti crawled into his escape tunnel.</p> - -<p>He liked to go in there every day and daydream. The tunnel ended -abortively at the wall of the prison, for the prison wall extended down -into solid bed rock for a meter, and it was fabricated of one-meter -thick compressed steel. It was the nearest thing to an exit that the -prison had.</p> - -<p>Officials had always come and gone through the massive, englobing wall -by matter transmitters. "Smarties couldn't find me though, when I was -in my escape tunnel," he chortled, as he stretched out in the cave -under the concrete. "They can walk through walls, but they couldn't -find <i>me</i>." Then his tone became baleful. "The smarties'll never find -me."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>As James Ypsilanti chopped on the door next day, the carpenter stood -cheerily watching.</p> - -<p>"Carpenter, why don't you fix the damn heating plant? Then I wouldn't -have to be chopping up your doors all the time to keep warm."</p> - -<p>"I am a carpenter, Jim, not a heat-plant fixer, as you well know from -our previous negotiations on the subject."</p> - -<p>"What will you do, carpenter, when I have used up all your doors?" the -convict jibed.</p> - -<p>"Why, Jim, we will have to send out for some more," the carpenter -answered condescendingly.</p> - -<p>"Still, I wish you would let <i>me</i> work on that heat plant," urged -Ypsilanti. "I might fix it."</p> - -<p>"'Inmates will not be permitted to disassemble or otherwise interfere -with the machinery of the institution,'" quoted the carpenter. "Need I -say more, Jim?"</p> - -<p>"Okay," said James Ypsilanti, resuming his destructive work on the new -door. "Scram, stupid." The carpenter departed.</p> - -<p>"That dope," Jim said between blows, "is even foggier in the head than -my lousy lawyer was, and that's going some."</p> - -<p>"Jim," said the carpenter, returning and sounding very pleased with -himself, "look here at what I have found, Jim."</p> - -<p>James Ypsilanti turned to look at what the carpenter held in his hand. -It was a carpenter's square sheathed in plastic.</p> - -<p>"Found enough of them to last me a lifetime, Jim," said the carpenter -complacently. "I'll never have to buy any."</p> - -<p>"No, you won't," agreed James Ypsilanti bitterly. "Can't you get it -into your head that you and I are the only ones left on Earth? After -the war the rest left. They couldn't <i>find</i> us when they evacuated this -atomic-explosion wrecked planet, because we were in this escape-proof -jug. So they went away and <i>left</i> us!"</p> - -<p>"I know, Jim."</p> - -<p>Ypsilanti studied the mobile features of the carpenter, searching -intently for a sign.</p> - -<p>But the carpenter robot strolled away, whistling.</p> - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Handyman, by Frank Banta - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HANDYMAN *** - -***** This file should be named 51546-h.htm or 51546-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/5/4/51546/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Thus, we do not necessarily -keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. - - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: - - http://www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. - - -</pre> - -</body> -</html> diff --git a/old/51546-h/images/cover.jpg b/old/51546-h/images/cover.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 1604859..0000000 --- a/old/51546-h/images/cover.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51546.txt b/old/51546.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 7cca40d..0000000 --- a/old/51546.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,564 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Handyman, by Frank Banta - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: Handyman - -Author: Frank Banta - -Release Date: March 24, 2016 [EBook #51546] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HANDYMAN *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - HANDYman - - By FRANK BANTA - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Galaxy Magazine August 1962. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - - - - They didn't have to worry about a thing - for the rest of their natural lives.... - - -James Ypsilanti swung at the door with the steak cuber. Or was it -the cube steaker? No matter. The door was a good, hardwood door and -resisted his onslaught well. But time was on his side. - -He had the energy and the time, he knew, and sooner or later the door -would be kindling. - -It was the door to his room. It was evident to him that he did not need -the door to his room and that he _did_ need heat. In fact he had better -get some heat pretty soon--although he was keeping warm enough for the -present by beating on the door. So he would beat this door to kindling, -and then he would build a nice, cozy fire in the hall that would keep -him warm for a long time ... if he was stingy with his fuel. - -The carpenter came by. The carpenter was always coming by, except when -you wanted him, Jim realized. The carpenter was a mighty, mighty busy -fellow. - -The carpenter stopped short when he saw Jim demolishing the door. In -fact he came to a grinding halt. - -"Jim, why didn't you tell me!" - -"Carpenter, how was I to know where you were? Who can ever find you?" - -"I know Jim. Jim, you work so hard!" - -"Yes!" he said, pounding. - -"Take this hatchet, Jim. A hatchet is what you demolish doors with! -Good-by." The carpenter departed. - -James Ypsilanti swung on the door with his newly acquired hatchet. Soon -he was ready for his fire. He struck a match, and in no time had the -pile of varnished kindling blazing smokily in the hall. He held his -hands over the blaze. - -"Ah, good, good. Good." He closed his eyes. "What could be better than -this?" Then he opened them again regretfully. "It's dinner time. I'd -better fix it while I have my fire going." He hurried to the kitchen -and chose a can of eggs-bacon-and-pancakes from the massive stores. - - * * * * * - -Opening the large can, he heated it over his hall fire. Then he dumped -the contents on his tin plate and ate. - -"Murder," he thought somberly. "That's what I'm in for. Practically -murder with consent. She said she couldn't live without me. Margie -begged me to kill her, you might as well say. Good old Margie; a good -kid, but I killed her. And now.... Well, that's life!" He speared a -pancake. - -"Damn, but it's _cold_!" He threw an armload of wood on the fire and it -blazed up. "Sure wish these carpenters had feelings. My lord, they got -no feelings at all!" - -The carpenter arrived with a new hardwood door. Whistling cheerily, he -began to install it where the other one had just been hatcheted away. - -"Carpenter, that door won't be staying there long. I'm almost out of -fuel." - -"I hope you don't expect me to be surprised, Jim, if this door doesn't -last very long. The previous twenty-two doors at this location, -Jim, did not last very long either." Still whistling to himself, he -installed the last of the hinge screws. - -"Why don't you just _give_ me the doors, instead of causing yourself -all this work?" demanded James Ypsilanti. - -"'Inmates will not be issued materials,' Jim. I've quoted that section -of the rules to you many times, Jim." - -"But couldn't you just _lean_ the door up against the door jamb and -leave it?" argued the inmate. "You go to a ridiculous amount of -trouble." - -"It is not ridiculous, Jim. I am a carpenter, Jim. Good-by." - -After lunch, James Ypsilanti crawled into his escape tunnel. - -He liked to go in there every day and daydream. The tunnel ended -abortively at the wall of the prison, for the prison wall extended down -into solid bed rock for a meter, and it was fabricated of one-meter -thick compressed steel. It was the nearest thing to an exit that the -prison had. - -Officials had always come and gone through the massive, englobing wall -by matter transmitters. "Smarties couldn't find me though, when I was -in my escape tunnel," he chortled, as he stretched out in the cave -under the concrete. "They can walk through walls, but they couldn't -find _me_." Then his tone became baleful. "The smarties'll never find -me." - - * * * * * - -As James Ypsilanti chopped on the door next day, the carpenter stood -cheerily watching. - -"Carpenter, why don't you fix the damn heating plant? Then I wouldn't -have to be chopping up your doors all the time to keep warm." - -"I am a carpenter, Jim, not a heat-plant fixer, as you well know from -our previous negotiations on the subject." - -"What will you do, carpenter, when I have used up all your doors?" the -convict jibed. - -"Why, Jim, we will have to send out for some more," the carpenter -answered condescendingly. - -"Still, I wish you would let _me_ work on that heat plant," urged -Ypsilanti. "I might fix it." - -"'Inmates will not be permitted to disassemble or otherwise interfere -with the machinery of the institution,'" quoted the carpenter. "Need I -say more, Jim?" - -"Okay," said James Ypsilanti, resuming his destructive work on the new -door. "Scram, stupid." The carpenter departed. - -"That dope," Jim said between blows, "is even foggier in the head than -my lousy lawyer was, and that's going some." - -"Jim," said the carpenter, returning and sounding very pleased with -himself, "look here at what I have found, Jim." - -James Ypsilanti turned to look at what the carpenter held in his hand. -It was a carpenter's square sheathed in plastic. - -"Found enough of them to last me a lifetime, Jim," said the carpenter -complacently. "I'll never have to buy any." - -"No, you won't," agreed James Ypsilanti bitterly. "Can't you get it -into your head that you and I are the only ones left on Earth? After -the war the rest left. They couldn't _find_ us when they evacuated this -atomic-explosion wrecked planet, because we were in this escape-proof -jug. So they went away and _left_ us!" - -"I know, Jim." - -Ypsilanti studied the mobile features of the carpenter, searching -intently for a sign. - -But the carpenter robot strolled away, whistling. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Handyman, by Frank Banta - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HANDYMAN *** - -***** This file should be named 51546.txt or 51546.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/5/4/51546/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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