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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..312ec78 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #50666 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/50666) diff --git a/old/50666-0.txt b/old/50666-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 724f178..0000000 --- a/old/50666-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,6040 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Songs of the Sea and Lays of the Land, by -Charles Godfrey Leland - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Songs of the Sea and Lays of the Land - -Author: Charles Godfrey Leland - -Release Date: December 11, 2015 [EBook #50666] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SONGS OF THE SEA, LAYS OF THE LAND *** - - - - -Produced by Larry Harrison, Cindy Beyer, Ross Cooling and -the online Distributed Proofreaders Canada team at -http://www.pgdpcanada.net with images provided by The -Internet Archives-US - - - - - - S O N G S O F T H E S E A - - AND - - L A Y S O F T H E L A N D - - - - - SONGS OF THE SEA - - AND - - LAYS OF THE LAND - - - BY - CHARLES GODFREY LELAND - - - - LONDON - ADAM AND CHARLES BLACK - 1895 - - - - - PREFACE - -Among the songs in this collection are the Brand New Ballads already -known more or less to the public, several of them having an American -newspaper circulation, while a few are given at times in public -readings; since I have learned, for example, that “In Nevada” was one of -the stock-pieces of Mr. Clifford Harrison. They now reappear amended and -with additions. - -In the “Songs of the Sea” the reader will not fail to observe that three -or four, such as the “Mermaid” and “Time for Us to Go,” are not by me at -all. They are sailors’ songs of the olden time, introduced as -suggestions for other lyrics, as I have indeed declared in the text, and -also to aid in the main purpose or idea which inspires the whole -collection—they being in this respect like stones from more ancient -edifices built into new houses, as was the wont of men in the middle -age. - -This main purpose was to set forth with scrupulous care, as of a statue -photographed from many sides, the mariner of the sailing—not -steaming—ship, who is now rapidly passing away, although some tens of -thousands of the species are still to be found in the remoter routes of -travel. This kind of man should be interesting, because he is almost the -only one who is drawn into his calling by a desire to rove about the -world and lead an adventurous, reckless, manly life. Into this life -entered, I may say, as “vitalising elements,” “shipwrecks and disasters -of the sea,” the extremes of discipline and dissipation, as well as -those of cynical scepticism and superstition, the seeing, like Ulysses, -cities and men, and the consciousness, so clear to undeveloped minds and -smaller natures, of belonging to a “peculiar” class. This I have borne -in mind most earnestly, and those who perceive it will also find that in -this spirit the following notes and sketches in song illustrate, I trust -accurately, a consistent ideal text, and that all the songs unite to -form a single poem. - -As for the many scraps, “chanties,” choruses, sayings, similes, and bits -of sea-lore worked up into the lyrics here and there, I make no attempt -whatever to indicate what is borrowed; all that I can say of it is, that -if the mere gathering the stones is all the merit of making a mosaic -picture (as many seem to think), then I could claim little merit for -originality. But as this is not a folk-lore book, in which a writer is -held sternly accountable “to give authority for every word,” and as a -mass of notes would have simply defeated the whole aim of the book, I -have preferred making myself amenable to the charge of plagiarism to -boring my reader—even as an Italian devoted servant of whom I once -heard, preferred to be carried off by the police, on the charge of -stealing oranges, rather than awaken and disturb his master who could -have explained the matter. I can, however, truly say that as regards -ideas, incidents, tales, turns of speech and idioms, current sayings, -and so on, from poetry down to vulgarity, I have literally taken so much -from sailors themselves that the work, if analysed, would be a curiosity -of collocation, like the poems made up entirely of proverbs, or the -Sermon of Texts. - -Here I would mention my obligation to more than one ancient mariner, and -specially to my old friend, Captain Stead, now so long a dweller at the -Langham Hotel, for advising about, and revising, these ballads. These -friends having carefully studied the work and corrected or modelled its -every sentence into ship-shape, have been kind enough to assure me that -it would hold its own in the forecastle, as a real thing, and not an -imitation; which saying uttered in sooth and truth especially by a -friend of forty years’ experience in sailing-vessels, mostly “before the -war,” was to me greatly encouraging. - -What I have above written of the “Songs of the Sea” is equally true of -the other ballads in this volume. They also form a series of eccentric -pictures of American life after the war, brought together, not like -chance pictures in a scrap-book, but as I before said, to carry out one -idea in reference to a special subject. In this spirit and to this end -were they written, from current prose tales. Nor have I ever forgotten -that there is in them for the future a kind of folk-lore which is never -so apparent to those who live in it as to those who inherit it. When I -was a small boy, there was in my aunt’s kitchen in Milford, -Massachusetts, a cheese-knife, which had no special interest to anybody -save to me, because it had been the very sword carried by General Eaton -in his famous march over the Desert to attack Algiers. Nowadays it would -be greatly prized. So it is sometimes worth while to think of these -things which we now possess, and how rapidly they are hastening to -become curiosities—I myself having lived to see every object familiar -to me in youth become bric-à-brac. In the last age, everything not in -the newest fashion was despised—in this there is a highly-cultured -class just beginning to show itself beyond the Realists and disciples of -Mental-analytical Chemistry, who look alternately at the Past and -Future, - - Even as Janus on the Capitol - Saw all that was or ever yet would be. - -There may be a few among the jealous guardians or spokes around the Hub -who may demand by what right I invade the sacred precincts of Boston, -and sing about its past. Well, my boyhood was half passed in Boston or -near it; there the romance of sailor life, which was marvellous in those -times, imbued me, and then and there in common with my mates I devoured -the _Mariners’ Chronicle_, _Shipwrecks and Disasters of the Sea_, _Lives -of the Buccaneers_, and listened with avidity to the tales of those who -had been on the briny deep. Nearly all my first-cousins had at one time -or other run away and gone to sea or taken long voyages. Among the -former were Benjamin Stimson, the “S” of _Two Years Before the Mast_; -Charles Leland, who afterwards grew like Samuel Jackson to the height of -seven feet; and Samuel Godfrey. From these and many more I learned an -incredible number of sea stories and songs, none of which I ever forgot, -being to an extraordinary degree accustomed to keep repeating to myself -these “stranger legends of the olden time.” Hence it comes that I have -in my mind such vivid memories of the old North End of Boston. - -I would say in conclusion what will be apparent enough to many, that -these Ballads make no great pretence to be poetry. They consist of -incidents or small “motives” cast into rhyme or measure, as the easiest -method of giving them a certain value, just as a tune brings out a song. -Most rhymers are criticised more or less severely for pretending to be -poets; all that I can claim for this volume is, that it is a kind of -collection of curiosities which, as they have seemed to me to be worth -remembering, will, I trust, be regarded by others as worth reading. - - CHARLES GODFREY LELAND. - FLORENCE, 1894. - - - - - CONTENTS - - - SONGS OF THE SEA - - PAGE - THE OLD TAVERN 1 - EL CAPITAN GENERAL 5 - UNCLE SAM 9 - MOTHER CAREY 13 - THE BIRD CREW 17 - DAVY JONES 19 - THE DEVIL’S POT 21 - ONE, TWO, THREE 24 - LA BELLA STREGA 27 - THE BEAUTIFUL WITCH 31 - THE WITCH’S BOX 35 - THE MERMAID 41 - THE MERMAN 43 - THE WIZARD FINN 51 - CHARLEY BUFF 55 - BOLD ROBIN ROVER 59 - TIME FOR US TO GO 64 - ROLLING OVER 67 - THE MUSQUITO 71 - STAND FROM UNDER! 73 - NEAR HAVANNA 77 - THE THREE DEAD MEN 80 - THE LADY-SAILOR 82 - THE SPANISH SAILOR’S SONG 84 - THE LOVER TO THE SAILOR 86 - GREEN CORN AND POTATOES 87 - THE SAILOR’S FAREWELL 90 - MACKEREL SIGNS 94 - TRUE BLUE 96 - THE STORY OF SAMUEL JACKSON 99 - THE DANDY SHIP 104 - JACK OF ALL TRADES 107 - THE GIRL WIND 110 - - LAYS OF THE LAND - - THE RISE AND FALL OF GLORYVILLE 115 - IN THE WRONG BOX 123 - ZION JERSEY BOGGS 130 - THE BALLAD OF THE GREEN OLD MAN 142 - CARRYING COALS 148 - CAREY, OF CARSON 150 - JOSEPHI IN BENICIA 156 - THE STORY OF A LIE 161 - THE LEGEND OF SAINT ANTHONY 164 - A RUSSIAN LYRIC 169 - MELODRAMNATION 173 - A TALE OF IDAHO 177 - A CALIFORNIAN ROMANCE 182 - THE STORY OF MR. SCROPER, ARCHITECT 187 - THAT INTERESTIN’ BOY 190 - MISS MILES, THE TELEGRAPH GIRL 191 - AN AMERICAN COCK-TALE 198 - JUDGE WYMAN 207 - IN NEVADA 213 - THE PHILANTHROPIC CLUB 223 - THE COLOURED FORTUNE-HUNTER 227 - PENN 228 - BALLAD OF THE FOXES 232 - EST MODUS IN REBUS 237 - THE MASHER 243 - ARIZONA JOHN 249 - THE BALLAD OF CHARITY 252 - MULTUM IN PARVO 256 - THE ORGANIST OF BERGAMO 258 - THE GOTH AND THE PIGEON 268 - REFLECTIONS IN A PRINTING-OFFICE 275 - - APPENDIX 277 - - - - - S O N G S O F T H E S E A - - - - - I SAW three sailors synging, hey howe! - Upon yon lea-land hey! - I hearde three mariners rynging, rumbelowe: - Upon yon sea strand gaye. - Synge hey howe, rumbelowe, - Row the boat, Norman, rowe! - - _Percy’s Relics._ - - - - - THE OLD TAVERN - - - In the North End of Boston, long ago; - Although ’tis yet within my memory; - There were of gabled houses many a row, - With overhanging storeys two or three, - And many with half-doors over whose end - Leaning upon her elbows, the good-wife - At eventide conversed with many a friend - Of all the little chances of their life; - Small ripples in a stream which ran full slow - In the North End of Boston, long ago. - - And ’mid these houses was a Hostelrie - Frequented by the people of the sea, - Known as the Boy and Barrel, from its sign: - A jolly urchin on a cask of wine - Bearing the words which puzzled every eye— - _Orbus In Tactu Mainet_[1] Heaven knows why. - Even there a bit of Latin made a show, - In the North End of Boston—long ago. - - And many a sailor, when his cruise was o’er, - Bore straight for it soon as he touched the shore: - In many a stormy night upon the sea - He’d thought upon the Boy—and of the spree - He’d have when there, and let all trouble go, - In the North End of Boston, long ago. - - There, like their vessels in a friendly port, - Met many mariners of every kind, - Spinning strange yarns of many a varied sort, - Well sheltered from the ocean and the wind; - In a long low dark room they lounged at ease; - Strange men there were from many a distant land, - And there above the high old chimney-piece - Were curiosities from many a strand, - Which often made strange tales and memories flow - In the North End of Boston, long ago. - - And there I often sat to hear those tales, - From men who’d passed through storm and fight and fire, - Of mighty icebergs and stupendous whales, - Of shipwrecked crews and of adventures dire, - Until the thought came to me on a time, - While I was listening to that merry throng, - That I would write their stories out in rhyme, - And weave into it many a sailor’s song, - That men might something of the legends know - Of the North End of Boston, long ago. - - First it was said that Captain Kidd in truth - Had revelled in that tavern with his crew, - And there it was he lost the Golden Tooth - Which brought him treasure, and the gossips knew - Moll Pitcher dwelt there in the days of yore, - And Peter Rugg had stopped before the door: - Tom Walker there did with the Devil go - In the North End of Boston, long ago. - - Nor had I long to wait, for at the word - Some one observed that he had seen in Spain - A captain hung—which Abner Chapin heard - And said, “I too upon the Spanish Main - Met with a man well known unto us all, - Who nearly hung a Captain General.” - He told the tale and I did rhyme it so; - In the North End of Boston, long ago. - ------ - -[1] - -See Appendix. - - - - - EL CAPITAN GENERAL - - - There was a Captain General who ruled in Vera Cruz, - And what we used to hear of him was always evil news; - He was a pirate on the sea—a robber on the shore: - The Señor Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador. - - There was a Yankee skipper who round about did roam, - His name was Stephen Folger and Nantucket was his home, - And having gone to Vera Cruz he had been skinned full sore - By the Señor Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador. - - But having got away alive, though all his cash was gone, - He said, “If there is Vengeance, I will surely try it on! - And I do wish I may be damned if I don’t clear the score - With Señor Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador!” - - He shipped a crew of seventy men—well-arméd men were they, - And sixty of them in the hold he darkly stowed away, - And sailing back to Vera Cruz was sighted from the shore, - By the Señor Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador. - - With twenty-five _soldados_ he came on board so pleased - And said: “_Maldito_ Yankee—again your ship is seized. - How many sailors have you got?” Said Folger, “Ten—no more,” - To the Captain Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador. - - “But come into my cabin and take a glass of wine, - I do suppose as usual, I’ll have to pay a fine; - I have got some old Madeira and we’ll talk the matter o’er— - My Capitan Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador.” - - And as over that Madeira the Captain General boozed, - It seemed to him as if his head was getting quite confused, - For it happened that some morphine had travelled from “the store” - To the glass of Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador. - - “What is it makes the vessel roll? What sounds are these I hear? - It seems as if the rising waves were beating on my ear!” - “Oh it is the breaking of the surf—just that and nothing more, - My Captain Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador!” - - The Governor was in a sleep which muddled all his brains, - The seventy men had got his gang and put them all in chains, - And when he woke the following day he could not see the shore, - For he was out on the blue water—the Don San Salvador. - - “Now do you see that yard-arm—and understand the thing?” - Said Captain Folger, “For all from that yard-arm you shall swing, - Or forty thousand dollars you must pay me from your store, - My Captain Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador.” - - The Capitano took a pen—the order he did sign, - “O Señor Yankee!—but you charge amazing high for wine!” - But ’twas not till the draft was paid they let him go ashore, - El Señor Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador. - - The greatest sharp some day will find another sharper wit, - It always makes the devil laugh to see a biter bit; - It takes two Spaniards any day to come a Yankee o’er: - Even two like Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador. - - And when this tale was told, another man - Cried out, “I’ll swear ’tis true as true can be, - Unto his health we’ll have all round a can! - For Captain Folger is well known to me. - Now I will sing ‘first lines’ of ‘Uncle Sam,’ - And he who can shall add at once a second, - I’ll call you one by one—now here I am, - And he who balks shall be the loser reckoned, - And pay for drinks all round”— - “All right,” they roared, - “Now then begin, for we are all on board!” - - - - - UNCLE SAM - - - When there’s rain and shine together, - _Chorus._ Yo heave ho! - Uncle Sam is in the weather: - _Chorus._ Yo heave ho! - - When the sun shines through a fog, - Yo heave ho! - Uncle Samuel drinks his grog: - Yo heave ho! - - When the blue sky shows in pieces, - Yo heave ho! - Those are Uncle Samuel’s breeches: - Yo heave ho! - - When a cloud is low and flat, - Yo heave ho! - That is Uncle Samuel’s hat: - Yo heave ho! - - When the wind is loud and bad, - Yo heave ho! - Then Old Sam is getting mad: - Yo heave ho! - - When the wind begins to bellow, - Yo heave ho! - Uncle Sam is in the cellar: - Yo heave ho! - - When the sky is clean and red, - Yo heave ho! - Uncle Sam is gone to bed: - Yo heave ho! - - When you hear the wind a-roaring, - Yo heave ho! - That is Uncle Sam a-snoring: - Yo heave ho! - - When you see the lightning spooning, - Yo heave ho! - Then old Uncle Sam’s harpooning: - Yo heave ho! - - When you hear the wind a-barking, - Yo heave ho! - Uncle Sam has gone a-sharking: - Yo heave ho! - - When you see a santo-corpus, - Yo heave ho! - Uncle Sam is arter a porpus: - Yo heave ho! - - When the water gabbles too much, - Yo heave ho! - Uncle Sam is talking Dutch: - Yo heave ho! - - When the sea hawk’s scream is heard, - Yo heave ho! - He wants to know if there’s Dutch on board: - Yo heave ho! - - When the wind’s before the rain, - Yo heave ho! - Soon you can make sail again: - Yo heave ho! - - “Belay that song I say—’tis gettin’ weary:” - Cried out a voice, “Let’s change to Mother Carey!” - - - - - MOTHER CAREY - - - With the wind old Mother Carey, - Yo ho oh! - Churns the sea to make her dairy: - Yo ho oh! - - When you see a storm a-brewin’, - Yo ho oh! - That is Mother Carey’s doin’: - Yo ho oh! - - When you see Mother Carey’s chickens, - Yo ho oh! - Then look out to catch the dickens! - Yo ho oh! - - When you hear the icebergs rattle, - Yo ho oh! - Those are Mother Carey’s cattle: - Yo ho oh! - - When you see them split—a-halving, - Yo ho oh! - Then Mother Carey’s cows are calving: - Yo ho oh! - - When you see a flying fish, - Yo ho oh! - Lose no time but make your wish: - Yo ho oh! - - Irish pennons when they’re flying, - Yo ho oh! - Set old Mother Carey crying: - Yo ho oh! - - When the sea-gulls dip for slush, - Yo ho oh! - Mother Carey stirs the mush: - Yo ho oh! - - When one sea-gull follows you, - Yo ho oh! - Mother Carey soon makes it two: - Yo ho oh! - - When the sea-gulls fly by two, - Yo ho oh! - Soon good luck will come to you: - Yo ho oh! - - When the sea-gulls fly by threes, - Yo ho oh! - Soon you’ll have a spanking breeze: - Yo ho oh! - - If seven follow you into port, - Yo ho oh! - There the sailors’ll have good sport: - Yo ho oh! - - When a rope trails in the water, - Yo ho oh! - That is Mother Carey’s garter: - Yo ho oh! - - When the clouds are red as roses, - Yo ho oh! - Those are Mother Carey’s posies: - Yo ho oh! - - If you want to win your Mary, - Yo ho oh! - Throw out a biscuit to Mother Carey: - Yo ho oh! - - And so they would have chantyd all night long, - But some one broke it with another song. - - - - - THE BIRD CREW - - - The Albatross - Is the captain and boss, - Haul away boys, haul away! - The sea-gull queers - Are the officeers, - Haul away boys, haul away! - And the Carey chickens as I guess - Is every one an A.B.S., - Haul away boys, haul away! - - “I’ve heard,” said Chapin, “many folk agree, - Those birds are souls of sailors lost at sea, - - And often one around the vessel flies - To give us warning ere the storms arise.” - - “Talkin’ of spirits in the vasty deep,” - Said Ezra Bullard, late of Marblehead, - “There’s one at least who never goes to sleep, - And mighty little good of him is said; - His special dispensation is to watch - The bottom of the ocean, and to see - It don’t fall out—for if it did we catch - The very direst kind of misery, - For all the water runnin’ through the hole - Would leave it dry as you can understand, - And from the Arctic to the ’tother pole, - ’Twould be one thunderin’ lot of empty land.” - And thereupon in his south-wester tones - He let us have the song of Davy Jones. - - - - - DAVY JONES - - - Down in the sea among sand and stones, - There lives the old fellow called Davy Jones. - - When storms come up he sighs and groans, - And that is the singing of Davy Jones. - - His chest is full of dead men’s bones, - And that is the locker of Davy Jones. - - Davy is Welsh you may hear by his tones, - For a regular Welsher is Davy Jones. - - Whenever a fish gets drowned, he moans, - So tender-hearted is Davy Jones. - - Thousands of ships the old man owns, - But none go a-sailing for Davy Jones. - - “Well—since you talk o’ the bottom of the sea,” - Said Enoch Doolittle of Salem town, - “I know a yarn that beats you full and free, - Because, d’ye know, it takes you deeper down, - And if you’re taken down—of course you’re beat.” - “That’s so,” cried all, “so now your yarn repeat!” - “All right,” quoth Doolittle, “I’ll serve it hot, - Because, d’ye see, it’s called The Devil’s Pot. - But ’fore I dive into the salty brine, - Give me a gill of white New England wine! - Take one all round to benefit the pub. - Now for the bottom of the pickle tub.” - - - - - THE DEVIL’S POT[2] - - - There’s a place where you see the Atlantic heave - Like water boiling hot; - Where you come with grief and with joy you leave, - And they call it the Devil’s Pot. - - Now there was a witch in the good old time, - And she had such power, they say, - Through rocks or stones or sand or lime, - She could always make her way. - - One night on a broom she went with a whirr; - The devil he saw her fly, - And the devil he fell in love with her - As she went sailing by. - - She flew like the devil to scape away, - And the devil so did he, - And she jumped from her broom without delay - And she dived to the bottom of the sea. - - And she bored a hole when she got down, - And round and round she twirled, - And closed it behind as she went on, - Till she went straight through the world. - - And the devil he dived in the water deep, - And he made it boil like pitch - As he roared and raved with many a leap, - But he never could find the witch. - - And still he stirs it by night and day, - And seeks and finds her not; - And that is the reason, the sailors say, - Why it’s called the Devil’s Pot. - - “They say that there are witches everywhere,” - Said Jones of Chesapeake, “a livin’ free; - Some in the rocks, some flyin’ in the air, - And some, in course, like fishes in the sea. - I’ve often heard strange voices in the night— - They wan’t no birds I’ll swer, nor any sitch— - One called me once by name; it gim’me fright— - And that I’m sartin was a water-witch. - One can’t in nat’ral wise account for that, - All you can call it is a Mr. E—— - But there are witches, I will bet a hat; - And so I’ll sing the song of One, Two, Three, - Fust drinkin’ all your healths,”—no more he said, - But in a good round voice went straight ahead: - ------ - -[2] The Devil’s Pot is a place on the North Atlantic route where, -according to sailors, there is always bad weather. - - - - - ONE, TWO, THREE - - - I saw three witches as the wind blew cold - In a red light to the lee; - Bold they were and over-bold - As they sailed over the sea; - Calling for One, Two, Three! - Calling for One, Two, Three! - And I think I can hear - It a-ringing in my ear, - A-calling for the One, Two, Three. - - And clouds came over the sky, - And the wind it blew hard and free, - And the waves grew bold and over-bold - As we sailed over the sea; - Howling for One, Two, Three! - Howling for their One, Two, Three! - Oh I think I can hear - It a-ringing in my ear, - A-howling for their One, Two, Three! - - And the storm came roaring on, - Such a storm as I never did see, - And the storm it was bold and over-bold, - And as bad as a storm could be; - A-roaring for its One, Two, Three! - A-howling for its One, Two, Three! - Oh I think I can hear - It a-howling in my ear, - A-growling for its One, Two, Three! - - And a wave came over the deck, - As big as a wave could be, - And it took away the captain and the mate and a man: - It had got the One, Two, Three! - And it went with the One, Two, Three! - Oh I think I can hear - It a-rolling in my ear, - As it went with the One, Two, Three. - - This being cheered, I said, “Some time ago - I made a song in the Italian tongue - About a witch and pirate—which for you - Shall, if you like, be now in English sung.” - “No, give it first,” cried Saltonstall, “by jingo! - In its own nateral, Eyetalian lingo; - What I don’t know of it ain’t worth a cent; - Even to Rome I several times have went, - In Naples, too, I’ve had full many a turn - And know old Spartivento like a dern; - And most of us, I reckon—though we’re Yankee— - Can go the Dago, or some _lingua frankey_. - We ain’t so ignorant of what we know; - So go ahead, Signor—_prestissimo_! - Ef we don’t catch the sense ’twill be a pity.”— - So thus encouraged I began my ditty: - - - - - LA BELLA STREGA - - - Era una bella strega - Che si bagnava alla riva; - Vennero i pirati, - Lei presero captiva. - - Il vento era in poppa, - Sull’onde la nave ballò, - La donna lacrimante - Al capitan parlò: - - “O Signor Capitano! - O Capitan’ del mar! - Daro cento ducati - Se tu mi lasci andar!” - - “Non prenderò cento ducati, - Tu costi molto più, - Io te vendrò al Sultano,” - Disse il Capitano - “Per mille zecchini d’oro - Vi stimi troppo giù.” - - “Non vuoi i cento ducati. - Ebben, tu non gli avrai, - Ho un’amante amato - Non mi abbandona mai.” - - Essa sedé sul ponte, - Principiò a cantar: - “Vieni il mio amante!” - Da lontano il vento - Si mette a mugghiar. - - Forte e più forte - La tempesta ruggio: - Gridava il Capitano: - “Io credo che il tuo amante - E il vento che corre innante, - Ovvero il diavolo.” - - Forte e più forte - La procella urlò: - “Sono roccie davanti, - E il vento vien di dietro, - Ben venuto sei tu, mio amante!” - La bella donna cantò. - - “Vattene al tuo amante - All’inferno a cantar!” - Disse il Capitano, - E gettò la donna fuori - Della nave nel mar. - - Ma come un gabbiano - Sull’onde essa volò: - “O mio Capitano! - Non sarai appiccato, - Ma sarai annegato; - Per sempre addio!” - - “That’s derned good Dago,” cried Jack Saltonstall; - “Blamed ef I didn’t understand it all. - For the best songs are easiest understood: - Now then let’s hear if t’other side’s as good! - A song is like a bird—’cos birds do sing— - So carve us out the second breast and wing; - And with your anthem bid our hearts rejoice:” - Encouraged thus I lifted up my voice. - - - - - THE BEAUTIFUL WITCH - - - A pretty witch was bathing - By the beach one summer day; - There came a boat with pirates - Who carried her away. - - The ship had a breeze behind her, - Over the waves went she! - “O Signor Capitano, - O Captain of the Sea! - I’ll give you a hundred ducats, - If you will set me free!” - - “I will not take a hundred; - You’re worth much more, you know: - I’ll sell you to the Sultan - For a thousand golden sequins: - You put yourself far too low.” - - “You will not take a hundred, - Very well then, let them be! - But I have a constant lover - Who, as you may discover, - Will never abandon me.” - - On the deck, before the rover, - The witch began to sing: - “Oh come to me, my lover!” - And the wind as it stole over - Began to howl and ring. - - Louder and ever louder - Became the tempest’s roar, - The captain in a passion - Thus at the lady swore: - “I believe that your windy lover - Is the devil and nothing more!” - - Wilder and ever wilder - The tempest raged and rang, - “There are rocks ahead, and the wind dead aft, - Thank you, my love!” the lady laughed - As unto the wind she sang. - - “Oh go with your cursed lover - To _inferno_ to sing for me!” - So cried the angry captain, - And threw the lady over - To sink in the stormy sea. - - But changing into a sea-gull - Over the waves she flew. - “O capitain, captain bold,” sang she, - “’Tis true you’ve missed the gallows tree, - But now you’ll drown in the foaming sea, - O captain, forever adieu!” - - “Talkin’ of witches and magicianers,” - Cried out Jack Saltonstall of Newbury port, - “They are the devil’s own parishioners, - And I knew one of a peculiar sort, - Because he was a sailor—had he been - A lawyer, now, it wouldn’t seem so queer: - For conjurers ’mong us ain’t often seen, - And he was of the kind who ain’t small beer, - Possessing cash enough to roll in bliss: - However that may be, the story’s _this_.” - - - - - THE WITCH’S BOX - - - Once when I went upon a trip - Likewise to the Southern sea, - We had a man upon the ship - And a wonderful man was he. - - A handsomer man I never did spy, - At home or in any port; - But there was something in his eye - Of a most peculiar sort. - - And all in Trinidado’s port - Was a woman fair and rich, - With her my messmate did consort, - And I heard she was a witch. - - Her eyes, like his, had a greenish glare, - They seemed to be quite of a level, - And the general look of the loving pair - Was exactly the look of the devil. - - Now when it was time to up and lift, - And the ship must leave the docks, - He came aboard with her parting gift, - A brown little wooden box. - - Now this man had hardly a shirt to his back, - When he started on this trip, - And the mate declared that such a Jack - Was a regular shame to the ship. - - Then this man he winked a dreadful wink, - And said to the mate, “I’ll be floored: - But I’ve got more clothes in my box, I think, - Than all of the men on board.” - - Now his box was only one foot square, - And what was our surprise - When he opened it and pulled out a pair - Of shirts before our eyes! - - Next came a hat and a jacket blue, - With trousers of the best, - For everything was nice and new, - And so on with all the rest. - - And when he was drest, all spick and span, - We observed upon our oaths - That we didn’t believe even our old man - Had got such a suit of clothes. - - Twenty-four hours arter, I heard him say, - And I thought it was very strange: - “I never wear my clothes but a day - And now it is time to change. - - “I make you a gift on ’em fair and plain, - With a quid of tobacco to boot.” - Sayin’ this he opened his box again, - And pulled out another new suit. - - And the same thing happened the very next day, - At about the very same bells, - He took off his second suit so gay, - And gave it to somebody else. - - So it happened every day again, - Till he’d rigged us all from his store; - And such a dandy lot of men - Were never in a ship before. - - Then we never had any scrimmages - For fear of spilin’ our slops: - We looked like the graven images - Before the tailors’ shops. - - But a man named Knox from Edinboro toun, - Always took the thing amiss, - And often remarked with a doubtful frown: - “There is something eereligious in this!” - - So one day when our friend had opened his box, - Before we could prevent, - Up behind him came Mr. Knox - And dropped in his New Testament. - - There came a flash of lightning bright, - And an awful thunder’s roar, - And the box and the sailor went clean out o’ sight, - And we never beheld ’em more. - - And all to ashes and all to wreck - Went our clothes, and we looked forlorn, - For there we were standing on the deck - As naked as we were born! - - And this is the lesson short and small, - Which we learned from our liberal friend, - That the things which cost you nothing at all - Never come to any good in the end. - - And when the laugh at this had died away, - Mose Brown of Bristol in the whaling line - Said: “Mermaids are the witches of the sea, - Which in good looks are really superfine. - And on this subject I will give a song, - Which I daresay you all already know, - But anyway it isn’t very long, - Though it was made a hundred years ago, - I guess that mermaids were much plentier then; - Perhaps they’re scared of steamboats and the swell - Which drives the fish as foxes do a hen— - So like the steamers I will now propel.” - - - - - THE MERMAID - - - One Friday morning we set sail[3] - It was not far from land, - When I espied a fair mermaid, - With a comb and a glass in her hand. - _Chorus._ And the raging winds do blow, blow, blow, - And the raging winds do blow; - And we poor sailors climbing up aloft, - And the land lubbers lying down below. - - Then up spoke the boy of our gallant ship - And a well-spoken boy was he: - “I’ve a mother and father in London town, - And this night they will weep for me.” - - Then up spoke the captain of our gallant ship, - And a well-spoken man was he: - “I’ve a wife who is living in Liverpool town, - A wife whom I never shall see.” - - “My wife who is living in Liverpool town - This night will be looking for me; - She may look till the sun no more goes down, - She may look to the bottom of the sea.” - - Then three times around went our gallant ship, - And three times around went she; - And three times around was the end of her trip, - When she sank to the bottom of the sea. - ------ - -[3] There may be a few readers to whom it is necessary to point out that -this first ballad of the “Mermaid” is an old song, here used as -introduction to a second by me, which is of the same nature. - - - - - THE MERMAN - - - Then another man said when that song was sung: - There are men like you and me, - Who will sometimes come ashore and get sprung, - Yet who live at the bottom of the sea. - - For I myself knew one of that folk - (I believe he still lives and thrives), - And I’ll tell you the truth without any joke - How we saved one another’s blest lives. - - I was walking one night in New York town, - And the moon shone bright and clear, - When I thought I heard a singular sound - That came from a board-yard near. - - First was a groan of misery, - And then a scythe of pain; - And a voice which wailed: “Oh where is the Sea? - Which I never shall see again?” - - And I thought that party must be cracked, - Or a little over the bay; - Because the water was not, in fact, - A half of a mile away. - - So I looked that sufferin’ mortal up, - And found, sufficiently soon, - A man who looked like a perishin’ pup, - As he lay in the light of the moon. - - And I said to him, “Matey, just confess - What all of this row’s about, - And what was it got you into this mess, - And how can I get you out?” - - Then this man he opened his eyes so wide: - “No more do I ask of thee - Than to carry me down to the water’s side, - And chuck me right into the sea.” - - And I says, “’Tis a singular thing to ask, - But I think it can be no sin, - And anyhow ’tis an easy task - To carry and pitch you in.” - - So I picked that perishin’ person up, - And slewed him on my back, - And he wriggled and moved with many a flup - Like a codfish or a jack. - - But when I had carried him half the way, - He seemed to be half-way done, - And when we had got ’longside of the bay, - I guessed that his life was gone. - - But when he heard the water splash, - He opened his eyes—you bet! - And said: “If you only will make a dash— - Good Lord! there’s a chance for me yet!” - - And when we came to the water’s edge, - I never a word did say, - But carried him right to the end of the Ledge, - And dumped him into the Bay. - - And then he gin a yell of delight, - And then he warbled a tune, - As he swam about in the water bright, - All there in the light of the moon. - - And he hollered to me his partin’ thanks, - And said: “I am outer my pain; - Good-bye! I’m off for the ’Foundland Banks; - Some day we shall meet again.” - - Now when a year had passed I found - Myself in a Southern sea, - A-wrecked; for all on board were drowned, - And nobody saved but me. - - And as I sat upon the turf, - And looked at the water blue, - A man came walking out of the surf, - And says to me: “How do you do? - - “I think you don’t remember me, - Allow me to let you know - I’m the fellow that you threw into the sea— - In New York—a year ago. - - “My home is down in the Ocean deep, - And sometimes—would you think? - I go ashore when men are asleep - To a tavern to take a drink. - - “My mother was a mermaid fair, - She lived down in the sea; - And my father he was a Dutch sailór, - So it came that I am what I be. - - “And I can walk about on land - Until my clothes are dry, - But that brings up to the end of my sand, - For then I must surely die: - - “And my soul sail off for Doldrum Isle, - Unless some one pities my pain, - And carries me down where the waters bile, - And puts me in ’em again. - - “One turn deserves another, ahoy! - And John must settle with Jack; - You treated me like a brother, old boy - And now I will pay you back. - - “In this bag there is more than a thousand pound, - And I give it all to you: - In a Spanish galloon that money I found, - (It’s a thing which I frequently do). - - “But in this place you’d be sure to spile, - So now I will give you a tip: - Just walk to the other side of this isle, - And there you will find a ship. - - “You’ll find her there as sure as you’re born; - Her name is the _Clara Belle_, - She sails for Havanna in the morn, - So, matey—fare-you-well! - - “Farewell—for here I cannot bide.” - He turned his back to the shore, - And walked right into the risin’ tide, - And I never beheld him more. - - So we never should doubt of a mystery, - There are lots of ’em round us still; - For nobody knows what’s down in the sea, - And nobody ever will. - - Said Brown, “That story now goes home to me. - Folks say a witch, a wizard, and a Finn, - Are all jint partners in all deviltry, - The Devil himself of course bein’ counted in; - And of these Northern conjurers I can sing - A song if you will join me in the chorus. - First take your drinks—that is the prudent thing, - We never know in life what lies before us.” - Which having done, himself he did begin - The wondrous ballad of the “Wizard Finn.” - - - - - THE WIZARD FINN - - - As I suppose, you all have heard - There’s no good luck with a Finn on board, - I can tell you that is so. - I’ve sailed with one and I ought to know: - For it is true, upon my word, - There’s no good luck with a Finn on board. - - Eric Jansen was his name, - And from Christián’ he came; - A seemly man all for to see, - But devil a bit the man for me: - For it is true, as all have heard, - There’s no good luck with a Finn on board. - - From the hour he joined the ship, - All went wrong in all the trip; - ’Twas nothing but swear and growl and groan, - And the weather was just the devil’s own: - You may reckon it all absurd, - But there’s no good luck with a Finn on board. - - Our grub was spoiled from that first hour, - Except the vinegar all was sour; - All you heard was Lubber! and Liar! - And everything hot except the fire: - For it is true, as all accord, - There’s no good luck with a Finn on board. - - For as the doctors all do know, - A Finn has fins between each toe: - He is web-footed like a duck; - Which is the cause of his bad luck: - For it is true, as I averred, - There’s no good luck with a Finn on board. - - And when at last it got so bad, - That master and men were nigh gone mad, - A rummerin’ whisper did begin - That ’twas all along of this here Finn: - For it is true, and on re-córd - There’s no good luck with a Finn on board. - - And the long and short of this debate - Was that one night our second mate, - Bein’ as mad as a man might be, - Pitched Eric Jansen into the sea: - For it is true, unless I’ve erred, - There’s no good luck with a Finn on board. - - When all at once around there came - Over the sea a greenish flame, - And the biggest whale I ever spied, - Rose up by Eric Jansen’s side: - For it is true, as you may’ve inferred, - There’s no good luck with a Finn on board. - - And the Finn he got upon the whale, - And off in the flame we saw them sail; - Hearing a song as they fell behind, - Like women singing with the wind: - For it is true, as all have concurred, - There’s no good luck with a Finn on board. - - Off from the ship and off the shore, - And Eric Jansen we saw no more; - But from that hour, aboard that ship, - All went well for the rest of the trip: - For it is true, upon my word, - As you and I have often heard, - People may say it’s all absurd, - And yet it holds as I averred, - And bein’ a fact it’s on recórd, - Unless the best of men have erred, - As you may truly have inferred, - In which observers have concurred: - There’s no good luck with a Finn on board. - - “That story of the Finn,” said one to Brown, - “Is of the kind which hev been salted down, - Which is the reason, I suppose, why you - Take such a lot of pains to prove it’s true. - When tales are c’rect in all their fitnesses, - There ain’t no need of forty witnesses, - Nor one at all I guess, but that’s enough; - Now listen to the song of ‘Charley Buff,’ - Who always said, ‘I am a truthful man:’” - He polished off his drink and thus began: - - - - - CHARLEY BUFF - - - Oh Charley Buff was his parents’ joy, - And as he always told, - He went to sea as a cabin-boy - Before he was one year old. - - _Chorus._ Now this is pretty bad, - But it’s nothin’ to what’s a-coming: - Yet Charley he was a truthful lad, - And never indulged in humming. - - And this Charley Buff allays said to me: - “To lie I cannot afford, - For you know I hev got more truth in me - Than all of the rest on board. - - “I have seen in the isle of Barriboo - Such high-sized coco-nuts, - That the natives used to split ’em in two - And use ’em to make their huts. - - “I hev seen the Kanaka women - Foller a ship’n full sail, - A thousand miles a-swimmin’ - For a bottle or a tenpenny nail. - - “I hev seen the eggs of the toodly-wang; - It’s a bird in the Muldive Isles; - And when they hatch they burst with a bang - You can hear five hundred miles. - - “From a Cariboo king named Jocko, - A man of cheerful life, - For only a fid of tobacco - I bought me a beautiful wife. - - “One night she was gone, by gum! - But as soon as ever I missed her, - From the king for a glass of rum - I bought her younger sister. - - “One evening for their tea - Her family broiled and ate her; - ‘Never mind!’ says the king to me, - ‘Just go and pick out a better.’” - - _Chorus._ Now this is pretty bad, - Yet it’s nothin’ to what’s a-coming; - But I hear the old man a bawlin’ like mad, - So I guess I will stop my humming. - - “Wal,” answered Brown, “that comes it rather strong. - Now if you like I’ll sing a pirate’s song - Of which you all have heard at times a bit; - I’ve jined ’em into one to make ’em fit, - Like beads upon a string, altho’ I fear - It’s partly pirate and part mutineer.” - - - - - BOLD ROBIN ROVER - - - Bold Robin Rover - Said to his crew: - “Up with the black flag - And down with the blue! - Up with the Black Boy! - All men to show, - Over the water - And off let us go!” - - A man-of-war he hailed us: - “Come under my lee!” - “See you damned,” said the pirate, - “For I’d rather sink at sea, - In the blue water - Far out and free, - Cruising down on the shore - By the coast of Barbary.” - - We met the _Flying Dutchman_, - By midnight he came, - His hull was all of hell fire, - His sails were all o’ flame; - Fire on the main-top, - Fire on the bow, - Fire on the gun-deck, - Fire down below! - - Four-and-twenty dead men, - Those were the crew, - The devil on the bowsprit - Fiddled as she flew. - - We gave her a broadside - Right in the dip, - Just like a candle, - Out went the ship. - - We met a gallant vessel - A-sailing on the sea, - For mercy, for mercy, - For mercy, she did plea; - But the mercy we gave her - We sunk her in the sea; - Cruising down on the shore - By the coast of Barbary, - - Four-and-twenty Spaniards, - Mighty men of rank, - With their golden ladies - Had to walk the plank, - Over the gunwale - Into the sea, - Cruising down on the shore, - By the coast of Barbary. - - Oh devil take the captain! - And devil take the ship! - And devil take the cargo! - And devil take the trip! - And devil take the bo’su’n! - And devil take his call! - And devil take the doctor! - And devil take ’em all! - - Over the quarter, - Over the sail, - Into the water, - Dead as a nail, - Slung like a biscuit, - Hot as a coal, - Where the sharks may take the body, - And the devil take the soul! - - Then spoke Grim Sam of Jersey, “As we’ve heard - A mermaid or a witch is the same bird, - But of a different feather, so a pirate, - And slaver, is all one for guards to fire at, - For pirates kill and plunder all they catch, - And slavers at the same are just their match; - There ain’t no special difference” (it was said - That Sam himself well knew the Guinea trade, - And half-way to the devil had sent his soul - By running into Cuba “sacks of coal”)— - And then he sang to us right merrily - A slaver’s song, which was not writ by me. - - - - - TIME FOR US TO GO - - - With sails let fall and sheeted home, and clear of the ground were we, - We passed the bank, stood round the light, and sailed away to sea; - The wind was fair and the coast was clear, and the brig was noways - slow, - For she was built in Baltimore, and ’twas time for us to go. - Time for us to go, - Time for us to go, - For she was built in Baltimore, and ’twas time for us to go. - - A quick run to the West we had, and when we made the Bight, - We kept the offing all day long, and crossed the bar at night. - Six hundred niggers in the hold, and seventy we did stow, - And when we’d clapped the hatches on, ’twas time for us to go. - - We hadn’t been three days at sea before we saw a sail, - So we clapped on every inch she’d stand, although it blew a gale, - And we walked along full fourteen knots, for the barkie she did know, - As well as ever a soul on board, ’twas time for us to go. - - We carried away the royal yards, and the stun’sle boom was gone, - Says the skipper, “They may go or stand; I’m darned if I don’t crook - on. - So the weather braces we’ll round in, and the trys’le set also, - And we’ll keep the brig three p’ints away, for it’s time for us to - go.” - - Oh yard-arm under she did plunge in the trough of the deep seas, - And her masts they thrashed about like whips as she bowled before the - breeze, - And every yard did buckle up like to a bending bow, - But her spars were tough as whalebone, and ’twas time for us to go. - - We dropped the cruiser in the night, and our cargo landed we, - And ashore we went, with our pockets full of dollars, on the spree. - And when the liquor it is out, and the locker it is low, - Then to sea again, in the ebony trade, ’twill be time for us to go. - Time for us to go, - Time for us to go, - Then to sea again, in the ebony trade, ’twill be time for us to go. - - “Wall,” said Mose Brown, “I ’low that that escape - From the derned cruiser was a blame close shave, - And I myself once in as bad a scrape - Was lifted out by one big thumping wave - On the same line of coast—or thereabout, - Since it was off the Bight—that’s old Benin— - Where as the sayin’ is, ‘but one goes out - Of all a hundred strangers who go in.’ - It ain’t so healthy quite—to be exact— - As ’tis in Colorado high and dry, - Where they send invalids—it is a fact— - Off to some other country for to die; - Excuse me, gents, for keepin’ you so long, - Now I’ll proceed to let you hev my song.” - - - - - ROLLING OVER[4] - - - It was upon a Boston brig, and that was in the Fall, - Our barky she was light as a gig, for our lading was but small; - And it was in the American War as we were sailing thus, - When we saw a steamer from afar, and knew she was after us. - _Chorus._ Rolling over, rolling over, rolling on. - The roaring waves they came, - Like water into fire all gone, - For the sea was all of a flame. - - Now I have often seen by dark the sea a-burning bright, - But nothing did I yet remark like what it was that night, - And the wake we left behind us as we sailed for many an hour, - Was like a fiery serpent who was chasing to devour. - - And then the captain made a speech to us a-standing round, - And said: “’Fore I’ll be taken I’ll be damned if I don’t be drowned; - Yet if you will be plucky, men, and likewise well behaved, - We’ve got one chance in a thousand yet, but what we may be saved. - - “About ten miles to leeward there lies the Guinea land, - And for fifty miles before it clear a narrow bar of sand; - And if we find a deepish place—as such of them there are— - It just is barely possible that we may clear the bar.” - - Then we gave three cheers for our old man because we liked his dash, - And allowed ere we’d go to prison that we all would go to smash; - So then we set the wheel up with the steamer coming down, - And never a man did care a damn if he was going to drown. - - Now as we came unto the bar I happened to remark - A spot among the waves on which the water it was dark; - And I showed it to the captain, who saw the place was fit, - And hollered to the helmsman to steer her straight for it. - - Now just as we were working to this very closest shave, - There came by Heaven’s mercy a tremendous booming wave, - Which gave the barky such a lift, thanks to our lucky star, - That though we felt the bottom scrape—by God we crossed the bar! - - And as we came in the still water we gave three roaring cheers, - For the rebel he was locked outside—of him we had no fears; - But I never shall forget until I come unto my grave, - How we were saved on the Guinea coast by the sea-light and the wave. - _Chorus._ Rolling over, rolling over, rolling on. - The roaring waves they came, - Like water into fire all gone, - For the sea was all of a flame. - - Quoth Nat of Stonington, “That _is_ a bruiser, - And yet I know darn’d well it could be done - With the third wave—but talking of a cruiser, - I know a song—’tis just a little one— - But first I would observe that a _muskeeter_ - Is not an insect, for as you should know - The term’s applied unto a different creeter, - Which sails about the Gulf of Mexico. - Sometimes the thing is called a _guard-accoster_,[5] - And when one did accost us with a gun, - Out of the way we ginerally tost her; - It ain’t hard work to make a greaser run. - Well, that’ll do. We got a song before us, - And them as likes may holler in the chorus.” - ------ - -[4] This ballad was very much revised, corrected, turned over, and -re-turned, by sundry old sailors, chief among whom was the ancient -mariner, Captain Stead. Almost the same could be said of all these -songs, but this one was specially “cut up and salted down for sea use.” - -[5] _Guarda Costa._ - - - - - THE MUSQUITO - - - Said Paul unto Peter, - “I see a muskeeter, - The boat’s coming over the bay.” - Said Peter to Paul, - “She is saucy, though small, - And the captain is sailing away.” - - Said Paul unto Peter, - “Confound the old creetur, - The boat’s coming over the bay.” - Said Peter to Paul, - “We will soon make her squall, - And the captain is sailing away.” - - Said Paul unto Peter, - “We’ll bang her and beat her! - The boat’s coming over the bay.” - Said Peter to Paul, - “Set stun’sles and all, - And the captain is sailing away.” - - Said Paul unto Peter, - “We’ll give her short metre, - The boat’s coming over the bay.” - Said Peter to Paul, - “Give her powder and ball, - And the captain is sailing away.” - - Said Paul unto Peter, - “We’ll roast her and eat her, - The boat’s coming over the bay.” - Said Peter to Paul, - “We will gobble them all, - And the captain is sailing away!” - - “Now, ’fore we fairly get into the Gulf,” - Said Saltonstall, “and fall into its tide, - Which swallows up so many like a wolf, - I’ll sing a song about a place outside, - Where a thing once took place which was a wonder— - I mean the story of ‘Old Stand from Under.’” - - - - - STAND FROM UNDER! - - - I was sailing in a vessel a long time ago, - All the while dead against us the wind used to blow, - And it seemed as if aboard us that nothing would go right, - When over the Bahamas a-sailing by the night. - _Chorus._ By the night, by the night, - When over the Bahamas a-sailing by the night. - - In the dark, up in the rigging, or somewhere on high, - “Hallo! Stand from under!” a voice used to cry; - But the Being who hallooed it was always out of sight, - When over the Bahamas a-sailing by the night. - - On that gloomy haunted vessel, and all among her crew, - Was a dark and silent sailor whom no one ever knew; - And the Voice it called the loudest when that seaman came to light, - When over the Bahamas a-sailing by the night. - - And we said to him one midnight when we heard it worst of all, - “Your friend there in the rigging is giving you a call.” - Then he looked up above him with such bitterness and spite, - When over the Bahama Isles a-sailing by the night. - - When the Voice with “Stand from under!” once again to him salamed, - He hallooed back like thunder: “Let go then and be damned!” - Like a man in desperation who expects a cruel fight, - All over the Bahamas a-sailing by the night. - - And as the word was spoken—like coming to a beck— - A something came a-whizzing and fell down upon the deck, - And the body of a mariner was there before our sight, - All over the Bahama Isles a-sailing by the night. - - And looking at the dead man, he said: “I do declare! - An hour’s sail from Cuba I stabbed that fellow there. - And now he always haunts me, though I killed him fair, in fight, - All over the Bahama Isles a-sailing by the night.” - - “But the devil a bit of fear have I of dead or living men, - I’ve lifted him before and I can lift him up again, - And pitch him in the water, and sink him out of sight, - All over the Bahamas a-sailing by the night.” - - He grappled with the dead man in spite of all our cries, - When life and awful anger came in the corpse’s eyes; - It tore him to the toffrail and held him deadly tight, - All over the Bahama Isles a-sailing by the night. - - And overboard together in a grapple went the two, - And downward sunk before us into the water blue; - But in and all around them shone a corpo-santo light, - All over the Bahama Isles a-sailing by the night. - - But from that very minute the wind blew well and fair, - And everything went right with us when we had lost the pair; - But I always shall remember while I live that awful sight, - All over the Bahama Isles a-sailing by the night. - - “Now that we’re gittin’ t’wards the Spanish Strand,” - Said Moses Brown, a-waving his bandana, - “I just propose that first of all I land— - As all of us have done—at the old Havanna. - Adventures there do gin’rally abound, - The natives being all sus-ceptive creeters; - For if romance upon this airth is found, - It sartinly _is_ ’mong the senoritas. - Though he who of ’em would advantage take, - Must be on hand and al’ays wide awake: - _Quien el diablo ha de engañar_ - _Mañana ha bien de levantar_.” - Meanin’ that “who the devil would deceive, - Must rise uncommon early,” I believe. - That is the precious time to pick a salad, - As happened to the fellow in my ballad; - Who carried off the booty, as the Fox - Took the fair Hen from the two fighting Cocks. - - - - - NEAR HAVANNA - - - It was down near Havanna town, ho! - It was down near Havanna town, low, - That I saw a mortal fight, - At the coming on of night, - By the starlight a long time ago. - - Two Spaniards were a-fighting for their lives, - The blades flashed like lightning up and down; - To the click and the clock of the knives, - And _there_ stood a lady looking on. - - I asked her the cause of the fray, - And she answered in Spanish: “Oh see! - They are villains who carried me away, - And now they are fighting for me.” - - And I said as I looked at her face - That I hardly could blame such a theft, - “But I’ll wait until one gets his grace, - Then I’ll tackle with the other who is left.” - - But just as I spoke, with a start, - The two leapt and fell on the sand, - For both had been stabbed to the heart - And each had his death out of hand. - - So I and the _donna_ were friends, - And that of the kindest and best; - Now here this true history ends, - And you must imagine the rest. - - And ’twas all near Havanna town, ho! - It was down by Havanna town, low, - That I saw this mortal fight, - At the coming on of night, - By the starlight a long time ago. - - There sat a stranger there whom no one knew, - Who did not seem a follower of the sea, - And yet no stranger surely to the Blue, - Who now politely spoke the company, - Saying unto them: “Mates, ’tween you and me, - I put it as a question—don’t you think - That it is pretty near time to take a drink? - And if you do belong to Gideon’s Band, - Then here’s my purse to pay—and here’s my hand”— - There was a roar of laughter loud and long, - And then the stranger burst into a song; - But for a minute were they all so gay, - For with the words their laughter died away. - - - - - THE THREE DEAD MEN - _Los tres Muertos_ - - - Ever so far and far away, - Down in the hollow by the bay, - Where the beach is dry and the rocks are high, - Under the sand three dead men lie. - There they lie alow, low, low, - Nor hear the cockrel’s crow. - Where the palm-trees are a-growing, and the wind is ever blowing, - There they lie alow, low, low. - - One was drowned in yonder sea, - One was shot as it may be, - One was left on the beach to die, - But all in the hollow sleeping lie. - There they lie alow, low, low, - Nor wake at the cockrel’s crow. - Where the palm-trees are a-growing, and the wind is ever blowing, - There they lie alow, low, low. - - Sometimes when the moon is bright - You can see the three, like gulls in flight, - Flitting along above the waves, - Or sitting and talking on their graves, - Where they lie alow, low, low, - Nor hear the cockrel’s crow. - Where the palm-trees are a-growing, and the wind is ever blowing, - There they lie alow, low, low. - - There was a pause—when some one merrily - Struck up a song which all have known of old; - How Billy Taylor’s sweetheart went to sea, - And how she fought in an engagement bold: - And as the talk ran on of female sailors - Who’ve gone to sea in men-of-war, or whalers, - Until I spoke and said: “I know a lay - About a Spanish lady, old lang syne, - Who, as a sailor, wished to sail away— - The words are by another and not mine:” - - - - - THE LADY-SAILOR[6] - - - I’ll go in yon boat, my mother, - Oh yes! in yon boat I’ll go; - I’ll go with the mariner, mother, - And I’ll be a mariner too. - _Ay, ay, ay, verdadero,_ - _Ay, ay, con el marinero!_ - And I’ll be a mariner too! - - Mother, there’s no refusing, - What true love demands I must do; - In love there’s no picking and choosing, - So I’ll be a mariner too. - _Ay, ay, verdadero,_ - _Ay, ay, con el marinero_, - And I’ll be a mariner too! - - “I like those Spanish songs,” the stranger said: - “Many I’ve heard and many I have read, - And if you like I’ll give you one in rhyme, - By Gil Vincente of the oldest time, - Which holds its own, and bravely, one may say, - For Spanish sailors sing it to this day.” - ------ - -[6] - - Irme quiero, madre, - En aquella galera - Con el marinero - Por ser marinera. - - - - - THE SPANISH SAILOR’S SONG - - - If you’re sleeping, my dear, - Wake and open to me! - For the hour is at hand - When afar we must flee. - - If your white feet are bare - Still no longer delay; - For deep are the waters - Which roll in our way. - - The waters so deep - Of the Guadalquivír; - The hour is at hand, - We must wander, my dear.[7] - - ’Tis strange, he added, how our land, in truth, - As it goes Southward seems to turn to youth, - And with a softer sun all words are sung— - As things are warmed—into the Spanish tongue: - I’ve given you a song, let’s have another; - “Well, I know one,” I said, “which seems its brother, - Although, compared to yours, it’s nearer zero, - In Spanish, _Digas tu el marinero!_” - ------ - -[7] - - Si dormis, donçella, - Despertad y abrid, - Que venida es la hora, - Si quereis partir. - - Si descalza estais - No querais calzar, - Que muchas las aquas - Teneis de pasar— - - Las aguas tan hondas - De Guadalquivír; - Que venida es la hora - Si teneis partir. - - - - - THE LOVER TO THE SAILOR - - - Now tell me this, my sailor boy, - As sure as you love your wine, - Oh did you ever see a ship - As trim as that girl of mine? - - And you who’ve been in many a gale, - And stood on many a deck; - Oh did you ever see a sail - As white as my true love’s neck? - - And you who have been where the red rose blows - In many a Southern place, - Oh did you ever see a rose - Like those in my sweetheart’s face? - - Here’s a cheer for the women with jet black curls, - Of Spain or of Portugal! - And seven for the Yankee and English girls, - The prettiest of them all! - - “Wall now,” cried Jones, “I railly must admit, - Them Spanish songs of yourn hev taste and wit; - But as I’m gettin’ hungry, what is upper - In me just now is that I want my supper; - And while it’s cookin’, till they bring the tub, - I’ll sing you how a sailor lost his grub.” - - - - - GREEN CORN AND POTATOES - - - Oh I once was in love like a sinner, - And the girl she was hahn’some and tall, - She said she would cook me a dinner - Of corn and potatoes and all. - - In a pot she put ham and potatoes, - One chicken, and that not too small; - With gumbos and good red tomatoes, - And beans and some oysters and all. - - On a rock by the river she cooked it, - When there came up a devil of a squall; - And into the water it hooked it, - With the corn and potatoes and all. - - The ham and the beans and potatoes - All went in that devil of a squall, - With the chicken and big red tomatoes, - And carrots and oysters and all. - - Then hurrah, boys! Hurrah for the Union! - And the banner which waves from the wall; - Likewise for the parsnip and onion, - Green corn and potatoes and all! - - The gumbos, the greens, and the carrots— - Likewise for the monkeys and parrots, - And corn and potatoes and all! - - Here John of Baltimore spoke out: said he— - “Mates, you must know I’m goin’ to leave the sea; - I’ve had a fortune left me, as I learn, - So now I guess I give the land a turn. - I am not one who a sea-life belittles, - But do confess I cannot stand the vittles: - You may correct me if you think I’m wrong; - But first I’ll give my sentiments in song:” - - - - - THE SAILOR’S FAREWELL - - - Hard tack and cheese, good-bye! - For I am going home, - To keep me warm and dry, - No more on the seas to roam. - - Roast beef and turkey free, - And likewise chicken-pie, - Salt junk—farewell to thee! - Hard tack and cheese, good-bye! - - I’m going to the land - Where ham and eggs they fry; - Veal cutlets are on hand; - Hard tack and cheese, good-bye! - - Roast duck doth there abound, - And mince and apple-pie - In stacks is lyin’ round; - Hard tack and cheese, good-bye! - - I smell the rich roast goose, - A second slice I’ll try; - A third I shan’t refuse; - Hard tack and cheese, good-bye! - - Planked shad is very fine; - I’m in for living high, - On terrapins with wine; - Hard tack and cheese, good-bye! - - I seek my native soil, - For soft-shell crabs I sigh, - And oysters on the broil; - Hard tack and cheese, good-bye! - - Unto the canvas-back - Myself I will apply, - And hickory nuts I’ll crack; - Of chinquapins no lack; - Hard tack and cheese, good-bye! - - The buckwheat-cake shall boom, - The Jersey sausage fry; - Amid green corn I’ll bloom, - And hominy consume; - Hard tack and cheese, good-bye! - - I see the cranberry sauce, - All with my mental eye; - Plum-pudding I will boss; - Hard tack and cheese, good-bye! - - Venison on chafing-dish, - With jelly, by the bye, - Coffee and fresh cat-fish; - Hard tack and cheese, good-bye! - - I’ll soon be on the strand - Where luscious reed birds fly; - My own—my Maryland— - Hard tack and cheese, good-bye! - - Old Ocean with thy foam, - For thee no more I sigh; - For I am going home! - Hard tack and cheese, good-bye! - - “That bill o’ fare,” cried Abner Chapin, loud, - “Is pitched too high for this here Northern crowd: - New England rum, I spose, seems rather meek - ’Longside peach-brandy down in Chesapeake. - I don’t de-cry your vittles, by no means, - But I prefer a pot of pork and beans - To all the canvas-backs that ever flew, - With soft-shell crabs and reed birds thereunto. - And all burnt offerins of fries of lambs - Ain’t worth a dish of good Rhode Island clams; - And all your Spanish mackerel, my man, - Worth one good mackerel caught off Cape Ann!” - “Talkin’ of mackerel”—Here Peter Young - Broke off this sermon with the “Mackerel Song.” - - - - - MACKEREL SIGNS - - - Mackerel clouds and mares’ tails - A-sailing, a-trailing, - Make lofty ships carry low sails - A-sailing, a-trailing away. - - When the mack’rel are in the sky, - A-sailing, a-trailing; - Soon the wind will be blowing high: - A-sailing and trailing away. - - When the mack’rel shine in the moon, - A-sailing, a-trailing; - Then the wind will begin to tune: - A-sailing, a-trailing away. - - Of all the wind upon the seas, - A-sailing, a-trailing; - The best is an evening mackerel breeze: - A-sailing and trailing away. - - “A mackerel is a sailor-dish,” - Said Jones, “for ’tis a sailor fish, - All drest, like us, in white and blue, - Which I do call the prettiest hue - Which the great heaven has to show - Of all the colours in the bow: - So, if you please, I’ll sing to you - A little song about the Blue!” - - - - - TRUE BLUE - - - Blue is the sea we sail on, - And blue is the sky above, - And blue are the eyes - As sea or skies - Of the maiden whom I love: - And blue is the flag we’re under, - And blue is the coat I wear; - But brighter the blue, - And deeper the hue - In the eyes which I hold so dear! - Bluer and brighter and sweeter, - Fonder and fair and as true; - Oh it’s blue love and true love for ever! - And God bless the beautiful blue! - - Now supper being over, every man - Lighted his pipe or called for a cigar, - Lolled in his chair—and all again began - To order “something lively” from the bar. - Jack Saltonstall, intent on keeping peace, - Waved a great South Sea club, and said, “I’m sent - By Providence to act as your police;” - And at the table sat as President. - He was a man of pleasing dignity, - And all allowed he would a captain be, - Calming all quarrels with a word and wink; - He had hot rum and lemon for his drink. - And as he sat in state, with the club of peace - Which he had taken from the chimney-piece, - He said to us: “What tales this bat could tell - Of many a battle—many a busted shell, - And murdered victims by the surfy shore, - And cani-bally feasts when all was o’er!” - - Quoth Sam of Jersey, “I hev seen such things - Among them natives, ordered by their kings, - As well might make a common pirate weep, - And the old devil feel uncommon cheap: - Such derned, infernal deeds, and parst all showin’, - Pirates and slavers ain’t the worst folk goin’. - There’s things to which the worst _they_ do is slow; - I’ve lived among ’em an I ort to know. - And yet among those natives there are some - As mild as lambs, and good and humoursome; - Who never fight no more than an old hen, - Such difference there is in mortal men. - I’ll tell you now a tale, to make you sport, - Of one who chanced among this gentle sort.” - - - - - THE STORY OF SAMUEL JACKSON - - - I’ll tell you of a sailor now, a tale that can’t be beat, - His name was Samuel Jackson, and his height was seven feet; - And how this man was shipwrecked in the far Pacific Isles, - And of the heathen natives with their suppositious[8] wiles. - - Now when the others cut the ship, because she was a wreck, - They left this Samuel Jackson there, a-standin’ on the deck— - That is, a standin’ on the deck, while sittin’ on the boom; - They wouldn’t let him in the boat ’cos he took up too much room. - - When up there came a tilted wave, and like a horse it romped, - It fell like mountains on the boat, and so the boat was swamped; - And of those selfish mariners full every one was drowned, - While Samuel, standing on the deck, beheld it safe and sound. - - Now when the sea grew soft and still, and all the gale was o’er, - Sam Jackson made himself a raft, and paddled safe ashore. - For fear of fatal accidents—not knowin’ what might come, - He took a gun and matches, with a prudent cask of rum. - - Now this island where he landed proved as merry as a fife, - For its indigents had ne’er beheld a white man in their life; - Such incidents as rum and guns they never yet had seen, - And likewise, in religion, they were awful jolly green. - - But they had a dim tradition, from their ancestors, in course, - Which they had somehow derived from a very ancient source: - How that a god would come to them, and set the island right; - And how he should be orful tall, and likewise pearly white. - - Now when they saw this Samuel approachin’ on his raft, - The news through all the island shades was quickly telegrapht, - How all their tribulations would speedily be past, - ’Cos the long-expected sucker was invadin’ ’em at last. - - Now when Sam Jackson stept ashore, as modest as you please, - Nine thousand bloomin’ savages received him on their knees; - He looked around in wonderment, regardin’ it as odd, - Not bein’ much accustomed to be worshipped as a god. - - But he twigged the situation, and with a pleasin’ smile - Stretched out his hands, a-blessin’ all the natives of the isle; - He did it well, although his paws were bigger than a pan, - Because he was habitual a most politeful man. - - So to return their manners, and nary-wise for fun, - He raised himself with dignity, and then fired off his gun: - So all allowed that he must be one of the heavenly chaps, - Since he went about with lightning and dispensed with thunderclaps. - - They took him on their shoulders, and he let it go for good, - And went into their city in the which a temple stood, - And sot him on the altar, and made him their salams, - And brought him pleasant coco-nuts, with chickens, po and yams. - - And from that day henceforward, in a captivating style, - He relegated, as he pleased, the natives of that isle; - And when an unbeliever rose—as now and then were some, - He cured their irreligion with a little taste of rum. - - He settled all their business, and he did it very well, - So everything went booming like a blessed wedding bell; - Eleven lovely feminines attended to his wants, - And a guard of honour followed him to all his usual haunts. - - Now what mortal men are made of, that they can’t put up with bliss, - I do not know, but this I know, that Sam got tired of this; - He wished that he was far away, again aboard a ship, - And all he thought of—night and day—was givin’ ’em the slip. - - And so one night when all was still and every soul asleep, - He got into a good canoe and paddled o’er the deep, - But oh the row the natives made, when early in the morn - They came to worship Samuel, and found their god was gone! - - Then Samuel travelled many days, but had the luck at last - To meet a brig from Boston where he shipped before the mast; - And he gave it as his sentiments, and no one thought it odd, - He was better off as sailor than when sailing as a god. - - Now many years had flown away when Samuel was forgot, - There came a ship for pearl shell unto that lonely spot; - They went into the temple, and what do you suppose - They found the natives worshipping—a suit of Samuel’s clothes! - - And this was the tradition of the people of the soil, - How once a great divinity had ruled upon their isle; - Four fathom tall, with eyes like fire, and such was their believin’, - One night he got upon the moon—and sailed away to Heaven! - - “Wall, it’s a fact,” cried Doolittle, “I’ll swear - A rover ain’t contented anywhere; - But if he is a real sailor slip, - He’s happiest on the hull—aboard a ship— - For there at times he has his tallest fun, - Especially if ’tis a dandy one - Where all is fine—O mateys, that’s the thing!” - He raised his voice, and thus began to sing: - (While up and down he merrily did prance) - Unto the air of _Dance, the Boatman, dance!_ - ------ - -[8] - -_Vide_ Appendix. - - - - - THE DANDY SHIP - - - We’ve a dandy ship - And a dandy crew; - A dandy mate - And a captain too; - A dandy doctor - Who’s a dand’ old sinner, - And a dandy darkey - To cook the dinner. - - _Chorus._ It’s dance, sailors, dance! - It’s dance, the sailors, dance! - We’ll dance all night till the broad daylight, - And then go to sea in the mornin’! - - We’ve a dandy lot - Of passengers, - Who live on chicken - And sassengers; - A dandy steward - To steer their mess; - Likewise a dandy— - Stew—ard—ess! - - _Chorus._ It’s dance, the sailors, dance! - It’s dance, the sailors, dance! - We’ll dance all night till the broad daylight, - And then go to sea in the mornin’! - - “Shiftin’ and changin’ it is understood,” - Said Abner Chapin, “never come to good.” - “Yes,” quoth the Stranger, “that is very true, - Who goes for many gets but very few; - Who travels zigzag makes full many a cross, - And rolling stones ne’er gather any moss; - The explanation of which word is funny: - In common Yiddish Hebrew, _moss_ means money, - And stones are men—take Peter for a sample— - Excuse me, friends, I know of an example - Of a loose fish who changed about so long - He first became a byword, then a song, - Which I will sing you though it is distressin’, - Not that you need it—as a moral lesson.” - - - - - JACK OF ALL TRADES - - - In all trades I’ve been a meddler, - _Chorus._ Foolin’ my life away: - I started life as a Yankee peddler, - Fiddlin’ and foolin’ away. - - Didn’t find the trade encouragin’ - So I turned a Dey Street New York surgeon. - - Next I’d a shopman for employer, - And then a Philadelphia lawyer. - - After that I was a smuggler, - Then I travelled as a juggler. - - Next I was a collector’s dunner, - And after that an emigrant runner. - - Then I laboured with some bakers, - Next, for a year, I joined the Shakers; - - But they found me too defective, - So for a while I turned detective. - - Then I tried my hand as teacher, - And next became a Blue Light preacher. - - Then I was one of the ——’s editors, - But had to cut to dodge my creditors. - - Faking oranges I tried next on, - Then for a while I dug as a sexton. - - For seven trips I was a slaver, - Then, as a barber, I turned shaver. - - After that I worked as pirate, - For all the naval sharps to fire at. - - Then nigger minstrel, then a sorter, - Off an’ on, shorthand reporter. - - Then I took to readin’ lectures, - And after that to paintin’ pictures. - - Next as drummer I did chaffer, - And then I worked as photográpher. - - Then for a while I run a dairy, - And next I turned apothecäry. - - Then stuck pla-cards as a billist, - And so became a patent pill-ist. - - Finding all other trades deceiving, - For a time I took to thieving. - - Now I’m a Pacific purser, - And don’t think I can do any worser, - Foolin’ my life away. - - “Yes, that’s the way,” said Jones, “that some go squandrin’, - Which minds me that we too must now be wand’rin’:” - “And I,” quoth Brown, “must be aboard and early; - But first of all I’m going to see my girley; - She’d blow a storm if I should fail to meet her: - She is, I vum, an awful breezy creeter, - A gale in petticoats, and one that’s stinging; - I’ll sing a song on that—to end our singing. - You’ve known the _girl-wind_, boys—I never doubt it; - And here’s a ballad which is all about it:” - - - - - THE GIRL-WIND - - - A hurly-burly, hurl-wind - Is hurrying o’er the waves; - Before it runs the Girl-wind - Fresh up from the Ocean caves. - She’s the little puff who goes before - To tell of the blow that’s coming, - She sounds like a hive when winters o’er - And you hear the bees a-humming. - - It’s all very well when a young girl can - Come tripping along with laughter; - But not so nice when you see the old man - With a big stick coming after. - It’s just the same with Everything - When pleasure runs before us, - You drink your wine and think it’s fine:— - Then comes the tavern scoreus! - - So we went forth upon our different ways— - And these were wide—to many a distant shore: - I to my home to put in form these lays, - And think upon this strange wild sailor-lore, - In which, to him who reads with generous heart, - As in a museum we seem to see - The strangest relics gathered far apart— - Rude, coarse, and rough, yet touched with poetry; - Like shells and gems and coins of olden time, - And worthless stones, all hardened in a mass, - Such as I’ve seen, fished from the ocean’s slime, - Such are these men and melodies—alas! - They all are of an age half past away. - Where is the boatswain now?—who hears his call? - And where these sailing packets once so gay? - I to myself do seem traditional - And all my youth a legend—so to say— - Yet well or ill I’ve done the best I could - To make in truthful song a little show - Of quaint old tales, now little understood, - Of the North End of Boston—long ago. - - - - - L A Y S O F T H E L A N D - - - - - THE RISE AND FALL OF GLORYVILLE - - - Where the rockiest Rocky Mountains interview the scornful skies, - And the sager kinds of sage-bush in the middle distance rise, - There the cultured eye descending from the dreamlike azure hill, - Lights in an æsthetic foreground on the town of Gloryville. - - It was in the Middle Ages—’bout the end of Sixty-eight, - So I found the hoary legend written on an ancient slate— - That one Ezry Jenks prospecting, when he reached this blooming spot, - Thus uplifted to his pardner: “Glory! Moses, let us squat!” - - Thus rebounded Moses Adams: “Glory was the foremost word - Which in the untrammelled silence of this wilderness was heard, - And I arnswer, dimly feelin’ like a prophet, grand and slow, - ‘Glory kinder sounds like Money—up to glory let her go!’” - - And this casual conversation in the year of Sixty-eight, - As if by an inspiration he recorded on a slate, - Which ’twas said in later ages—six weeks after—used to hang - As a curiositary in the principal shebang. - - On the spot that very evening they perceived a beauteous gleam - From a grain of shining metal in a wild auriferous stream: - As their eyes remarked the symptom thus their tongues responsive - spoke: - “In this undiscovered section there _is_ pay-dirt, sure as smoke!” - - Little boots or little shoes it to inform you how, like crows - To a carcase, folks came flying, and the town of Glory rose; - As in country schools the urchins cast each one a spittle-ball, - Till at last a monstrous paper fungus gathers on the wall. - - ’Long the road they built their cabins, in a vis-a-visual way, - As if each man to his neighbour kind of wished to have his say; - But ’twas also said that like two rows of teeth the houses grew, - Threatening uncommon danger to the stranger passing through. - - Yes, for like the note of freedom sounded on Hibernia’s harp, - Every person in the party was a most uncommon sharp; - And it got to be a saying that from such an ornery cuss - As a regular Gloryvillin—oh, good Law deliver us! - - First of all the pay-dirt vanished or became uncommon rare, - Then they wandered more than ever to the Cross and from the Square, - For when all resources failed them nary copper did they mind, - For they had fine-answering Genius, which is never left behind. - - So they got incopperated as a city fair and grand, - Spreading memoirs of their splendour over many a distant land, - Mind I say in _distant_ places—people near them knew - Into what unearthly beauty the great town of Glory grew. - - Then they sent an ex-tra Governor over seas and far beyond, - Even unto distant Holland, loaded up with many a bond, - Splendidly engraved in London, having just the proper touch - Quite imposing—rather—for they did impose upon the Dutch. - - And with every bond the Governor had a picture to bestow - Of the town of Gloryville a-bathing in the sunset’s glow; - This they had performed in Paris by an artist full of cheek, - Who was told to draw a city _comme il faut dans l’Amérique_. - - The ideas of this artist were idead from long ago, - Out of scenery in an opera, “Cortez in the Mexico.” - Therefore all his work expanded with expensive fallacies: - Castles, towered walls, pavilions, real-estately palaces. - - In the foreground lofty palm-trees, as if full of soaring love, - Bore up coco-nuts and monkeys to the smiling heaven above; - Jet-black Indian chieftains, at their feet too lovely girls were - sighin, - With an elephant beyond them—here and there a casual lion. - - You have seen in _Pilgrim’s Progress_ the Celestial City stand - Like a hub in half a cart-wheel raying light o’er all the land. - Well, in _that_, it is the felloes of the wheel which cause the blaze; - So in Gloryville the fellows were the ones who made the rays. - - When these views were well matured the Governor went to Amsterdam, - Where to Mynheer Schmuel Ganef first of all he made his slam: - At a glance each “saw” the other—at a glance they went aside, - And without a word of bother soon the plan was cut and dried. - - For one hundred thousand dollars then the Governor at will - Gave away the full fee-simple of the town of Gloryville. - “Dat for you,” said Schmuel Ganef, “is, I dink, not much too much, - But I makesh de shtock a million ven I sells him to the Dutch.” - - And the secret of his selling was upon the artful plan - Known to the police in Paris as the _vol Américain_, - Whereby he who does the spilling manages the man who’s spilt - Very nicely, for he makes him an accomplice in the guilt. - - Even as of old great sages managed the Parisian _fonds_, - So in Amsterdam Heer Ganef peddled out his Glory bonds; - And to all he slyly whispered, “I will let you in de first - On de ground-floor—sell out quickly—for you know de ding may burst.” - - Woe to you who live by thieving, though you be of rogues the chief, - Even the greatest will discover in due time his master-thief. - True, he “let them in,” and truly on the very bottom floor, - But was with the Gloryvillins in the cellar long before. - - And to tell you how the biters all got bitten were in vain; - Here the Governor leaves my story, and he comes not in again. - I will pass to later ages, when all Gloryville, you bet, - Found itself extreme encumbered with an extra booming debt. - - Those who sold the bonds had vanished, those who hadn’t held the town, - Little knew they of its glory over seas or great renown. - They had nothing of the fruitage, though, alas! they held the plant, - Nothing saw they of the picture, save, indeed, the Elephant. - - He who had been in the background now came trampling to the fore; - Terribly he trampled on them, very awful was his roar! - Very dreadful is the silence when no human voice responds - To a legal requisition for the interest of our bonds. - - But ere long a shrewd reflection unto Moses Adams came— - “Darned ef I’m a-gwine to suffer fur another party’s game; - Wings is given to muskeeters—like muskeeters men can fly; - Ef a strawberry-vine can travel with its roots, then why not I?” - - Silently, in secret, Moses to himself a plan reveals, - Got a three-inch plank and sawed it into surreptitious wheels, - And when night in solemn mystery had succeeded unto day, - Put his hut and things on axles, and quite lonely drove away - - To a place just over yonder by the old Coyote Road; - There, no more a man of glory, Moses Adams dropped his load, - And when resting from his labour and refreshing from his jug, - Having known a town called Julesberg, called his shanty Splendourbug. - - On the following morn as usual in due time arose the sun, - And the Gloryvillins followed his example one by one; - While he smiled upon the city, as on other things beneath, - ’Twas observed one snag was wanting in the double row of teeth. - - Little said the Left-behinders, but they seemed to take the hint, - And each man surveyed his neighbour with a shrewd and genial squint; - All day long there was a sound of sawing timber up and down, - Seven more houses in the morning were a-wanting in the town. - - And before the week departed all the town departed too, - Just like the swallows in the autumn to another soil they flew; - Only that, unlike the swallows which we hear of in the song, - When the Gloryvillins squandered each one took his nest along. - - All except one ancient darkey, obstinate and blind and lame, - Who for want of wheels and credit could not follow up the game; - So the others had to leave him, which they did without regret, - Left him there without a copper—just one million deep in debt. - - If you seek them you may find them comfortable as in a rug, - All of them at length established in the town of Splendourbug; - And the driver to the traveller as by Gloryville he goes, - Points him out, an ancient darkey who a million dollars owes. - - - - - IN THE WRONG BOX - - - When Eagle Davis died, - I was sittin’ by his side, - ’Twas in Boston, Massachusetts; and he said to me, “Old boy! - This climate—as you see— - Isn’t quite the size for me; - Dead or livin’, take me back if you can to Ellanoy!” - - So I took him by the hand, - But he’d just run out his sand, - And his breath was gone for ever—before a word would come; - Then I and other three - Together did agree - In a party for to travel and to funeralise him home. - - But Goshen Wheeler said, - As he looked upon the dead, - Weepin’ mildly, “Just remark my observation what I say: - That deceased, now glori_ous_, - Was in life a curious cuss, - And somethin’ unexpectable will happen on the way. - - “Frum the time that he was born - Till he doubled round the Horn - Of Death, all his measurements and pleasurements were odd; - And odd his line will be, - As you’re registered to see, - Till his walnut case is underneath the gravel and the sod.” - - It was bitter winter weather - When we all four got together - At the depôt with the coffin in an extra packin’ box; - And a friend with good intent, - A cask of whisky sent, - Just to keep our boats from wrackin’, as they say, upon the rocks. - - Then a ticket agent he - Seein’ mournin’, says to me, - “Can I get the cards, or help you in your trouble, Mister Brown?” - So with solemn words I said, - As I pinted to the dead, - “There you’ll find, I guess, our pilgrimage and shrine is written - down.” - - Then all night beneath the stars - We sat grimly in the cars, - Sometimes sleepin’, sometimes thinkin’, sometimes drinkin’, till the - dawn; - And each man went in his turn - To the baggage-crate to learn - If the box was keepin’ time with us, and how ’twas gettin’ on. - - Then all day beneath the sun - Still the train went rushin’ on, - While we still kep’ as silent as grave-stones as we went: - Playing euchre solemnly, - Which we kinder did agree - With the stakes to build for Davis a decent monu_ment_. - - ’Bout once in every mile - Some mourner took a smile, - But we did no other smilin’ as we travelled day or night; - And once in every hour - Some one went into the bower, - And reported the receptacle of Davis was all right. - - But when four days were past, - Which we still were flyin’ fast, - Goshen Wheeler, very solemn, with expression to us cries, - “Where we are it should be freezin’ - And our very breaths a-squeezin’, - Whereas the air is hot enough to bake persimmon pies. - - “Don’t you smell a rich perfume - As of summer flowers in bloom? - ’Tis magnolias a-peddled by yon humble coloured boy: - Now, I never yet did know - That the sweet mag-no-li-o - Grew in winter in the latitude of Northern Ellanoy.” - - Then said Ebenezer Dotton, - “I behold a field of cotton, - And I wonder how in thunder such a veg’table got here. - I don’t know how we’re fixed, - But the climate’s getting mixed, - And it’s spilin’ very rapidly with warmness as I fear.” - - Spoke Mister Aaron Bland, - “I perceive on yonder land - That sugar-cane is bloomin’, correctly, all in rows, - And not to make allusions - To Republican delusions, - But the niggers air a-gettin’ all around as thick as crows.” - - Still we sat there mighty glum - Till along a fellow come. - And I says, says I, “Conductor, now tell us what it means, - Just inform us where we be?” - “Wall, now, gentlemen,” said he, - “I reckon we air comin’ to the spot called New Or-leéns!” - - So we rushed all in a row, - When we got to the depôt, - To the baggage-crate, a-wonderin’ at these transformation scenes; - And we found out unexpected - That the box had been directed - Not unto Ellanoy, but to a man in New Or-leéns! - - Without carin’ if I’d catch it, - I straightway took a hatchet, - And busted off the cover without openin’ my mouth; - And found a grand pianner - Which we’d followed for our banner - All the way from Massachusetts unto the sunny South! - - Then I said, “I rather guess - I can see into this mess, - And explain the startlin’ error which has given you such shocks. - When that Boston fellow, he - Asked the route I’d take of me, - I pinted, inadvertional, unto another box.” - - Now Eagle Davis lies - Beneath the Northern skies, - Where the snow is on the pine-tree while we are with the palm; - But I reckon if his spirit - Should ever come to hear it, - He’ll be perfectly contented with the story in this psalm. - - - - - ZION JERSEY BOGGS - A LEGEND OF PHILADELPHIA - - - Before the telegraphic wires - Had ever run from pole to pole, - Or telegirls sent telegrams - To cheer the weary waiting soul; - When all things went about as slow - As terrapins could run on clogs, - Was played a game - By one whose name - Was Mister Zion Jersey Boggs. - -A Philadelphia newspaper - Was printed then on Chestnut Street, - While ’crost the way, just opposite, - There lived a sufferin’ rival sheet, - Whose editors could get no news, - Which made ’em cross as starvin’ hogs; - The first, I guess, - Had an express - Which kind o’ b’longed to Mister Boggs. - - But in those days the only news - Which reëly opened readers’ eyes, - Was of the New York lottery, - And who by luck had got a prize. - All other news, for all they cared, - Might travel to the orful dogs; - And this they got - All piping hot— - Though surreptitiously—from Boggs. - - For of the crew no party knew - That Boggs did any horses own. - All sportin’ amputations he - Did most concussively disown; - For he had serious subtle aims, - His wheels were full of secret cogs,— - Well oiled and slow, - Yet sure to go, - Was Mister Zion Jersey Boggs. - - One mornin’ he, mysteriously, - An’ smilin’ quite ironical, - Spoke to the other editor, - The man who run the _Chronicle:_ - “The _Ledger_ has a hoss express - By which your lottery news he flogs.” - “Yes, that is true, - But what’s to do?” - Replied the man to Mister Boggs. - - Then Mister Boggs let down his brows, - And with a long deep knowing wink, - Said, “Hosses travel mighty fast, - But ther air faster things, I think; - An’ kerrier-pidgings, as you know, - Kin find their way thro’ storm and fogs: - Them air the bugs - To fly like slugs!” - Said Mister Zion Jersey Boggs. - - “And in my glorious natyve land, - Which lies acrost the Delaware, - I hev a lot upon the spot,— - Just twenty dollars fur a pair. - These gentle insects air the things - To make the _Ledger_ squeal like hogs; - That is the game - To hit ’em lame!” - Said Mister Zion Jersey Boggs. - - The editor looked back again, - And saw him better on his wink. - “It is the crisis of our fate— - Say, Boggs, what is your style of drink? - Step to the bar of Congress Hall;— - We’ll try your poultry on, by Gogs! - An’ let ’em fly - Tarnation high!” - “Amen!” said Zion Jersey Boggs. - - The pidgins came, the pidgins flew, - They lit upon the lofty wall; - They made their five an’ ninety miles - In just about no time at all. - Compared to them, the _Ledger_ team - Went just as slow as haulin’ logs. - But all was mum, - Shut close an’ dum, - By the request of Mister Boggs. - - Then on the follerin’ Monday he, - Lookin’ profounder as he prowled, - This son of sin an’ mystery, - Into the _Ledger_ orfice owled. - “An’ oh! to think,” he sadly groaned, - “That earth should bear setch skalliwogs! - Setch all-fired snakes, - And no mistakes!” - Said Mister Zion Jersey Boggs. - - “Why, what is up?” asked Mr. Swain; - “It seems you’ve had some awful shoves.” - “The _Chronicle_,” his agent cried, - “Has went an’ bin an’ bought some doves! - Them traitors, wretches, swindlers, cheats, - Hev smashed us up like polywogs. - They’ve knocked, I guess, - Our hoss express - Higher than any kite,” said Boggs. - - “Have you no plan?” asked Mister Swain, - “To keep the fellows off our walks?” - “I _hev_,” said Boggs, as grim as death; - “What do you think of pidging-horks? - For in my glorious natyve land, - Acrost the river, ’mong the frogs, - I hev a lot - All sharply sot - To eat them pidgings up,” said Boggs. - - “They are the chosen birds of wrath, - They fly like arrers through the air, - Or angels sent by orful Death— - Jist fifty dollars fur a pair; - An’ cheap to keep, because, you see, - Upon the enemy they progs.” - “Well, try it on, - And now begone!” - Said Mister Swain to Mister Boggs. - - The autumn morn was bright and fair, - Fresh as a rose with recent rain. - The pidgins tortled through the air, - But nary one came home again. - Some feathers dropped in Chestnut Street, - Some bills and claws among the logs: - Wipin’ a tear, - “I greatly fear - That all’s not right,” said Mr. Boggs. - - Into the _Chronicle_ he went, - Twice as mysterious as before, - “And _hev_ you heard the orful news?” - He whispered as he shet the door. - “Oh, I hev come to tell a tale - Of crime, which all creation flogs, - Of wretchery - And treachery - That bangs tarnation sin,” said Boggs. - - “Them _Ledger_ fellers with their tricks, - Hev slopped clean over crime’s dark cup. - They’ve bin an’ bought some pidging-horks, - And they hev _et_ our pidgings up. - Oh, whut is life wuth livin’ fur - When editors behave like hogs? - An’ ragin’ crime - Makes double time; - Oh, darn setch villany!” cried Boggs. - - “But hark! bee-hold, to-morrer, thou - In deep revenge may dry your tears; - I hev a plan, which, you’ll allow, - Beats all-git-out when it eppears. - The ragin’ eagle of the North, - The bird which all creation flogs, - Will cause them horks - To walk ther chalks, - An’ give us grand revenge,” said Boggs. - - “Them glorious birds of liberty, - Them symbols of our country’s fame, - Wild, sarsy, furious, and free, - Indeliably rowdy game; - They shall revenge them gentile doves, - Our harmless messengers, by Gogs! - In which the horks - Hev stuck ther forks,” - Cried Mister Zion Jersey Boggs. - - “For in my glorious natyve land - Acrost the river, down below, - I hev a farm, and in the barn - Six captyve eagles in a row: - One hundred dollars fur a pair; - Fetch out the flimsies frum your togs - An’ up on high - _I’ll_ make ’em fly,” - Said Mister Zion Jersey Boggs. - - But this same editor had heard - Some hint or rumour, faint or dim, - How Mister Boggs, it was averred, - Was coming Paddy over him. - An earlier tale of soapy deeds - Then gave his memory startling jogs, - And full of wrath - Right in his path - He went for Zion Jersey Boggs. - - “Horses and pidgins—pidgin-horks”— - That was enough to raise his Dutch: - He saw it all—and also saw - The eagle—“Just one bird too much.” - Too mad to mind his shootin’-iron, - And throw good powder to the dogs, - He grabbed his chair, - And then and there - Corrected Zion Jersey Boggs. - - After long years had rolled away, - And Morse’s telegraph came in, - Still on the facing rival roofs - Two grey old cages could be seen, - And young reporters o’er their drinks - Would tell each other—jolly dogs— - Of ancient time - What in this rhyme - I’ve told of Zion Jersey Boggs. - - - - - THE BALLAD OF THE GREEN OLD MAN - - - It was a balmeous day in May, when spring was springing high - And all amid the buttercups the bees did butterfly; - While the butterflies were being enraptured in the flowers, - And winsome frogs were singing soft morals to the showers. - - Green were the emerald grasses which grew upon the plain, - And green too were the verdant boughs which rippled in the rain, - Far green likewise the apple hue which clad the distant hill, - But at the station sat a man who looked far greener still. - - An ancient man, a boy-like man, a person mild and meek, - A being who had little tongue, and nary bit of cheek. - And while upon him pleasant-like I saw the ladies look, - He sat a-counting money in a brownsome pocket-book. - - Then to him a policeman spoke: “Unless you feel too proud, - You’d better stow away that cash while you’re in this here crowd; - There’s many a chap about this spot who’d clean you out like ten.” - “And can it be,” exclaimed the man, “there are such wicked men? - - “Then I will put my greenbacks up all in my pocket-book, - And keep it buttoned very tight, and at the button look.” - He said it with a simple tone, and gave a simple smile— - You never saw a half-grown shad one-half so void of guile. - - And the bumble-bees kept bumbling away among the flowers, - While distant frogs were frogging amid the summer showers, - And the tree-toads were tree-toadying in accents sharp or flat— - All nature seemed a-naturing as there the old man sat. - - Then up and down the platform promiscuous he strayed, - Amid the waiting passengers he took his lemonade, - A-making little kind remarks unto them all at sight, - Until he met two travellers who looked cosmopolite. - - Now even as the old was green, this pair were darkly-brown; - They seemed to be of that degree which sports about the town. - Amid terrestrial mice, I ween, their destiny was Cat; - If ever men were gonoffs,[9] I should say these two were that. - - And they had watched that old man well with interested look, - And gazed him counting greenbacks in that brownsome pocket-book; - And the elder softly warbled with benevolential phiz, - “Green peas has come to market, and the veg’tables is riz.” - - Yet still across the heavenly sky the clouds went clouding on, - The rush upon the gliding brook kept rushing all alone, - While the ducks upon the water were a-ducking just the same, - And every mortal human man kept on his little game. - - And the old man to the strangers very affable let slip - How that zealousy policeman had given him the tip, - And how his cash was buttoned in his pocket dark and dim, - And how he guessed no man alive on earth could gammon him. - - In ardent conversation ere long the three were steeped, - And in that good man’s confidence the younger party deeped. - The p’liceman, as he shadowed them, exclaimed in blooming rage, - “They’re stuffin’ of that duck, I guess, and leavin’ out the sage.” - - He saw the game distinctly, and inspected how it took, - And watched the reappearance of that brownsome pocket-book, - And how that futile ancient, ere he buttoned up his coat, - Had interchanged, obliging-like, a greensome coloured note. - - And how they parted tenderly, and how the happy twain - Went out into the Infinite by taking of the train; - Then up the blue policeman came, and said, “My ancient son, - Now you have gone and did it; say what you have been and done?” - - And unto him the good old man replied with childish glee, - “They were as nice a two young men as I did ever see; - But they were in such misery their story made me cry; - So I lent ’em twenty dollars—which they’ll pay me by-and-bye. - - “But as I had no twenty, we also did arrange, - They got from me a fifty bill, and gimme thirty change; - But they will send that fifty back, and by to-morrow’s train——” - “That note,” out cried the constable, “you’ll never see again.” - - “And that,” exclaimed the sweet old man, “I hope I never may, - Because I do not care a cuss how far it keeps away; - For if I’m a judge of money, and I _reether_ think I am, - The one I shoved was never worth a continental dam. - - “They hev wandered with their sorrers into the sunny South, - They hev got uncommon swallows and an extry lot of mouth. - In the next train to the North’ard I expect to widely roam, - And if any come inquirin’, jist say I ain’t at home.” - - The p’liceman lifted up his glance unto the sunny skies, - I s’pose the light was fervent, for a tear were in his eyes, - And said, “If in your travels a hat store you should see, - Just buy yourself a beaver tile and charge that tile to me.” - - While the robins were a-robbing acrost the meadow gay, - And the pigeons still a-pigeoning among the gleam of May, - All out of doors kept out of doors as suchlike only can, - A-singing of an endless hymn about that good old man. - ------ - -[9] _Gonoff_, a Scriptural term for a Member of the Legislature, or -suchlike. - - - - - CARRYING COALS - - - In the gloomsome abysses where darkness is kept, - And the spirit of silence for ages has slept, - In the great shaft of Pottsville, way down in the hole, - There came seven parties, all dealers in coal; - But they never had been in that chasm before, - Nor had the sensation of darkness all o’er, - Which so greatly expandeth the soul. - - And one of ’em said, “It’s an awful delight - To be infinite deep into no end of night, - Where the heavenly sunshine can’t manage to spring,— - And, talking of that, I’ve a notion, by Jing! - Let we ourselves mine out some coal lumps to-day - To show to the folks,—which I think, by the way, - Would be a poetical thing.” - - So they filled up their pockets, untried by a doubt, - And in the hotel they unveiled ’em all out; - But their glances grew strange as they turned o’er the weight, - Till one of them shouted, “By thunder, it’s slate!” - Yet the youngest among them had dealered in coal, - And unto that traffic surrendered his soul, - Since the Anno Eighteen Forty-eight. - - For all of man’s wisdom is only a dream, - Which passeth away like a plate of ice-cream, - And the best of experience fails, as we mark, - If you go for to dig when you’re all in the dark; - For there’s always a moral inside of a tale, - And big things in little things always prevail - As sure as there’s wood in the bark. - - - - - CAREY, OF CARSON - - - The night-mist dim and darkling, - As o’er the roads we pass, - Lies in the morning sparkling - As dewdrops on the grass. - E’en so the deeds of darkness, - Which come like midnight dews, - Appear as sparkling items - Next morning in the news. - - Away in Carson City, - Far in the Silver Land, - There lives one Justice Carey, - A man of head and hand; - And as upon his table - The Judge a-smoking sat - There rowdied in a rougher - Who wore a gallows hat. - - He looked upon the Justice, - But Justice did not budge - Until the younger warbled, - “Say—don’t you know me, Judge?” - “I think,” said Carey meekly, - “Your face full well I know,— - I sent you up for stealing - A horse a year ago.” - - “Ay, that is just the hair-pin - I am, and that’s my line; - And here is twenty dollars - I’ve brought to pay the fine.” - “You owe no fine,” said Carey, - “Your punishment is o’er.” - “Not yet,” replied the rover; - “I’ve come to have some more. - - “Fust-rate assault and batt’ry - I’m goin’ to commit, - And you’re the mournful victim - That I intend to hit, - And give you such a scrampin’ - As never was, nohow; - And so, to save the lawin’, - I guess I’ll settle now.” - - Up rose the Court in splendour; - “Young man, your start is fair, - Sail in, my son, sail over, - And we will call it square! - Go in upon your chances,— - Perhaps you may not miss; - I like to see young heroes - Ambitionin’ like this.” - - The young one at the older - Went in with all his heft, - And, like a flyin’ boulder, - At once let out his left; - The Court, in haste, ducked under - Its head uncommon spry, - Then lifted the intruder - With a puncher in the eye,— - - A regular right-hander; - And like a cannon-ball, - The young man, when percussioned - Went over on the wall. - In just about a second, - The Court, with all its vim, - Like squash-vines o’er a meadow, - Went climbing over him. - - Yea, as the pumpkin clambers - Above an Indian grave, - Or as the Mississippi - Inunders with its wave, - And merrily slops over - A town in happy sport, - E’en so that man was clambered - All over by the Court. - - And in about a minute - That party was so raw, - He would have seemed a stranger - Unto his dearest squaw; - Till he was soft and tender, - This morsel once so tough, - And then, in sad surrender, - He moaned aloud, “Enough!” - - He rose; and Justice Carey - Said to him ere he went, - “I do not think the fightin’ - You did was worth a cent. - I charge for time two dollars, - As lawyers should, ’tis plain; - The balance of the twenty - I give you back again. - - “I like to be obligin’ - To folks with all my powers, - So when you next want fightin’ - Don’t come in office hours; - I only make my charges - For what’s in legal time,— - Drop in, my son, this evenin’, - And I’ll not charge a dime.” - - The young man took the guerdon, - As he had ta’en the scars; - Then took himself awayward - To the ’Ginia City cars. - ’Tis glorious when heroes - Go in to right their wrongs; - But if you’re only hair-pins, - Oh, then beware of tongs! - - - - - JOSEPHI IN BENICIA - - - There was a man who spent his mortal life - A-prisoning until there came a war; - And with the war there came an enemy, - And with the enemy came dynamite, - And with the dynamite the engineers - Histed that prison-house, and with it all - That was therein. And when the man came down - And lay a-dying, round the chaplain lit, - And asked him “What of life?” and he replied, - “To me this life has been a blasted cell.” - And so he died like any other man, - And thus it is things work among mankind. - - The great Josephi—the piano lord— - When in the land of California - Was duly published for Benicia, - Yet never once put in; and then arose - Dame Rumour with a hundred thousand tongues, - And people said that he had bust his wires, - And had neuralgia in his sounding-board, - And the dyspepsia in his pedal joint, - And the stricnosis in his upper keys,— - Yet all was false, and I will tell you why. - The day before he was to have gone in - Unto his glory in Benicia, - There came a visitor whose sun-grilled face - And grand prize pumpkin air had all the style - Of a Maud Muller’s father; and this man, - Being shown in, remarked, “I s’pose you air - Mister Joseephee?” To him in reply - The small piano-smasher nodded “Yes.” - And thus the agriculturist went on:— - “I’m from Beneesh, I am, and I belong - To the Town Council—that is my posish. - Down here disposin’ of my barley, and - I thort I’d call and see yer, being as - Yer comin’ down ter-morrer fur to play.” - “Ja, dot is so,” replied the music man. - “Ye see, yer comin’ to a stranger town, - And so I thort I’d let yer hev some pints - About the programme. We’re a-payin’ yer - A pot o’ money, and of course yer want - To suit the ordience.” “Vell, vot you like,” - Exclaimed the great musician. “I can blay - Chopin, Beethoven, Liszt—ja! all de crate - Gombosers, and I gifes you vot you shoose.” - “I never heerd them tunes,” replied his guest. - “Do yer know ‘Nancy Lee’?” “Not I, bei Gott!” - “Nor ‘Mary Ann’?” “Nein” (_very haughtily_). - “The ‘Spanish Dona’—the ‘Monastery Bells’?” - “Gott’s dammerwetter! Himmelspotzen—NEIN!” - “Wall, now, whar did ye learn? My darter Sue - Goes to Miss Lynch’s, and she knows ’em all, - An’ plays ’em all by heart right straight along. - I never thought her no great shakes, and yet - She’s clean ahead of you.” A gloomy pause - Ensued, and two long glares. Then he set on, - “What kind o’ dancing music are ye gwine - To fetch along? for that’s the heavy jerk.” - “_Tantz musik!_” Oh, the horror of the voice - Of great Josephi when he heard these words. - “Yes, certinly. Ain’t ye a-goin’ to play - Fur dancing arter supper? Wot d’ye s’pose - We’re gwine to pay yer fur?” (Here came the squall.) - “Go to der Teufel mit your tantz musik! - Dere-to your tauter also. Sapperment! - Verflucht sei deine Seele—do you dink - I coom to blay fur caddle? I ton’t go - Unto Benicia. Dell your veller-bigs - Your tauter blays in my blace—in de blace - Of Herr Josephi—do you oonderstand, - You hundert tousend plasted _Schweinigel_!” - And in the rustic’s face he slammed the door. - - He did not play in fair Benicia, - And in that town he is not popular; - And in its leading circles seven out - Of eight regard him as a German fraud, - Who cannot even play “My Mary Ann.” - And thus it is they think he is a sell, - And thus it is things work among mankind. - - - - - THE STORY OF A LIE - - - Who asks an ape to throw a coco-nut - Should take it not amiss if it be thrown - On his own head, as echo answers song. - - There was a man named Jesse, who was called - The greatest liar in Connecticut. - For there are giants among the Brobdingnags. - - It was a burning day, and William Hoop - Sat in the shade, when Jess came riding by. - When wolves run past your door-step, let them run. - - But William cried, “Stop for a moment, Jess, - And tell us a big lie.” Jesse liked it not. - Ne’er ask a hangman how to tie a noose. - - But hastily and sadly he replied, - “This is no time for lying now; oh, woe!” - A wanton widow may wear darkest weeds. - - “Your Uncle Sol died very suddenly - An hour ago, and you would have me lie!” - Who weaveth nets is often caught in them. - - “And I am riding for the coroner, - And for a coffin. William, learn from this - _Never while living ask a man to lie_.” - - Then William ran in and told his wife, - And he and she and all the family - Burst into tears. The thistle soon bears thorns. - - And in his waggon, leaving everything, - They posted off and on, four miles away. - The eagle hastens at the eaglet’s cry. - - And when arrived they found the family - In the large kitchen, but in ne’er a grief. - It pains a man at times to miss his pain. - - There Uncle Sol was buried—to the eyes, - In a great water-melon, lush and red. - Life’s sweetest things are water after all: - - Which rises in a mist, and comes again - As rainy tears. And William almost wept - For rage, because he had no cause to cry. - - But after this he never did entreat - Another man to tell a lie to him. - Burnt child seeks not a second time the fire. - - - - - THE LEGEND OF SAINT ANTHONY - - - The seek-no-further face of loveliness, - The perfect form of fawn-like springfulness, - Rich as a bonanza just unbound: - Catherine Van Peyster, of Fifth Avenue. - - She lived a year in Europe—but for aye - In all the hearts of all who met her there; - And then her pa allowed her boundless cash, - Which she laid out in glorious works of art. - - Such as the dream-like dresses made by Worth, - And heavenly hats by Virot, and all things - Refined, æsthetic, swell, and classical; - Yea, even a picture—she bought everything. - - ’Tis true it was a picture of herself, - And when she ordered it she simply said, - “I know that I am very beautiful, - My mirror tells me that—distinctively; - - “But I am also very clever too, - For I am of a clever family, - Papa and sisters all are awful smart; - Now you must make it somehow sparkle out - - “In what you paint. And as for me I guess - I’ll show you how to fix it—wait a bit. - Ain’t there a saint they call Saint Catherine? - One of my beaux, I think, once called me that.” - - “_Si, Illustrissima_,” the artist said, - “Dere is a Santa Catarina, who - Is beautiful most of the oder sants, - Vitch giusto suit so lovely mad as you! - - “And she do always hold opon a vheel.” - “I see!” cried Miss Van Peyster—“just the thing, - The wheel of fortune—and the loveliest saint; - That’s me exactly. What a perfect fit!” - - And so ’twas painted, and the painted pair, - Saint Catherine and Miss Catherine, went across - Unto New York; and many people came - To call and worship—or to make believe. - - And with the rest came Mr. Anthony, - A blooming broker, and a mighty man, - Who did not think small brewings of himself, - Albeit his studies had been very small, - - And very few i’ the heap. His face and form - Were greasiness and grossness well combined, - With sneeriness and nearness in the eyes; - He seemed a kind of coarsest Capuchin. - - And much he did admire the quaint conceit - Of being taken as a holy saint, - And said, “I’d like to try that thing myself. - How could a feller fix it——Catherine?” - - “Easy enough,” replied the beautiful: - “You’ve only got to send your photograph - Out to my man in Florence, and to say, - ‘_Vous peignez moi comme le Saint Anthony_.’ - - “I’ll write it for you if you have a card, - And he will fix it for you _comme il faut_.” - That very hour the heavy shaver wrote, - And sent the order for his portraiture. - - And in due time ’twas done—and further on - ’Twas in the Custom House—and thence ’twas sent - To the Spring Exhibition in New York, - There was no time to send it to “the House.” - - And Anthony himself beheld it not - Till it had hung a week upon “the walls,” - And all the newspapers had served it up, - And all the world had merry made withal. - - Yea, he _was_ in it—clad in dirty rags, - A vile abomination. In his hand - A monstrous rosary. The Sunday Press - Said ’twas a rope of onions, meant to feed - - The monstrous hog which filled the canvas up, - So vast in its proportions that it seemed - As Anthony were waiting on the hog, - And not the hog upon Saint Anthony. - - In it and in for it. Just as the Saint - Of Padua is painted, with his pig, - Only a little more so. And thus ends - The tale of the great hog and Anthony. - - - - - A RUSSIAN LYRIC - AIR—“_Denkst du daran mein tapfre Lagienka._” - - - “SALTOKOFF SKUPCHIROFSKY,” said the ruler - Of Russia to his captain of the guard, - “I will retire; the night is growing cooler - Have all the troops been posted in the yard?” - “They have, my liege, and in the tower o’er you - The watchman, with an opera-glass, afar - Looks out to see that no one comes to bore you: - _Bogu Tsarachnie!_ God protect the Tsar!” - - “What have you done with him who came this morning, - And wanted me to buy a lightning-rod?” - “He sleeps beneath the Neva, as a warning - To others like him, not as yet in quod.” - “The girl who bored us for a contribution - To send her blessed clergyman afar?” - “She’s strangled by the Seventh Resolution: - _Bogu Tsarachnie!_ God protect the Tsar!” - - “And where is he who gave us the conniptions, - That cheeky man from the United States, - Who came unto my bedside for subscriptions - To—what was it?—the ‘Life of Sergeant Bates’?” - “Upon a special train that man is flying - Unto Siberia in a third-class car; - Thou badest him ‘dry up!’ and he is drying: - _Bogu Tsarachnie!_ God protect the Tsar!” - - “And where is he who bored us for insurance - On life or fire, who down the chimney came?” - “My liege, beneath our feet in deepest durance - He pays with penance for his little game.” - “And, after him, the pedlar who came plungin’ - Into the parlour, smoking a cigar?” - “Ask of the vipers in the palace dungeon: - _Bogu Tsarachnie!_ God protect the Tsar!” - - “And that young man who always kept a-saying, - ‘That is the kind of hair-pin that I am’?” - “My liege, the strychnine in his vitals playing - May tell you how I stopped that kind of flam. - “And he who at this day is still repeating, - ‘What, never, never?’” “In a butt of tar - We coopered _him_. His heart’s no longer beating: - _Bogu Tsarachnie!_ God protect the Tsar!” - - “And where is he who on the imperial fences - Inscribed _Pop’s Bitters_, and _Take Fooler’s Pills_?” - “My lord, his medicines were no defences, - In Hades he atones for earthly ills.” - “And that confounded nuisance of a Scotch Guard - Who played the bagpipes up and down the car?” - “My lord, the imperial headsman wears his watch-guard: - _Bogu Tsarachnie!_ God protect the Tsar!” - - “Captain, ’tis well. Now telegraph to London - That every Nihilist has had his dose, - And that a fresh conspiracy is undone, - And keep the gum-drop, corn-ball peddlers close - Who spread sedition in the trains to ’stress me; - And keep the gates of anarchy ajar; - So may Saint Feoderskidobry bless thee! - _Bogu Tsarachnie!_ God protect the Tsar!” - - - - - MELODRAMNATION - - - “Now Mr. Gallagher is satisfied.” - So says the Boston _Post_. The facts are these: - He is the chief of a theatric club, - And as he deems that he can melodram, - He melodrammed for it a mighty piece - Of thundering incidents and awful scenes, - Which called for just nine actors. And they all - Declared that each had got the worst and curst - Of all the parts, and that ’twas written thus - To boom the fame of selfish Gallagher; - So the first night they came upon the boards, - With hearts like hornets and with souls like snakes - And feeling like old pizen, all agog - To be revenged upon the common foe, - Who was to act the hero. _Act the first_: - The hero and his mother meet to part, - And on her shoulders and o’er all her bust - The parent had put pins by papersful, - Till she was like a frightful porcupine; - And when she pressed her darling to her breast, - The pins _en masse_ entered his very soul, - And pricked his nose, and ran into his cheeks, - So that he howled; but his mamma held on, - Easing her heart with rapturous revenge - While agonizing his. In the next act - He was on shipboard, and ’twas in the plot - That he should be knocked down and cuffed about - By a most cruel captain; and, God knows, - The captain played that part most perfectly, - Since in the start he went for Gallagher - With a belaying-pin, and laid him out - _Secundum artem_, and then let him up, - Only to let into him twice as hot, - ’Mid rapturous hurrahs. In the next act - The hero led the crew to mutiny, - And Gallagher was glorious; but just then - Some one let down the trap on which he stood, - And there he was, up to his waist in stage, - Unable to get up or to go down, - And thus they kept him in captivity - While all the audience guyed him. When he strove - To climb they lowered him, and when he sought - To dodge beneath they highered him again; - So he went up and down like Erie stock - Until the scene was shifted. In the next - He fought the villain of the play, and this - Was Mr. Hencoop Smith, a stalwart rogue, - Extremely high on muscle, and the way - He lathered Gallagher about the stage - Was Awful Gardener. And when Smith should cry, - “Forgive me—I am crushed!” and Gallagher - Replied, “I’ll have your life!” the hero lay - Under the table, while his adversary - Bemauled him with a chair-leg. It was o’er, - And Gallagher, all black and blue, went home - To plotter out revenge. On the next night - The piece was adverred to be played again, - And Gallagher sent round a messenger, - Who said he was too ill to play his part, - But he would send a substitute. He did— - A giant-like ferocious prize-fighter, - Under another name. And how he played! - He squeezed the mother into raving fits, - And jerked her wig away by accident, - And threw the cruel captain down the trap, - And larruped all the actors; and when Smith - Came on to fight, he took him by the heels - And mopped the stage with him until ’twas clean, - Then hurled him through the flat. All was a wreck: - And in the front seat sat the Gallagher - And laughed until he cried. Revenge is sweet! - - - - - A TALE OF IDAHO - - - When they had finished the ethnology, - And polished up the climate and the crops, - And glorified the different kinds of bugs, - And told in turn their lies about the snakes, - And fish and deer and things, of Idaho, - A pensive cuss in spectacles inquired, - “All this is well enough; now how about - Your educational facilities? - And let me see in dots the time they go.” - - “And that’s the only thing we really lack,” - Replied the Ancient, with a silvery sigh; - “We do defect in _that_ ostensibly. - We have the schools, but then we cannot git - The folks to run ’em, or who will remain - Adjacent to ’em, for they will not keep.” - “How!—do they _die_?” “Wall, some on ’em expired, - Though Idaho ain’t an expirin’ State; - But I will tell you just the time they go. - - “We had a fine young fellow from the East; - He licked the boys, and also kissed the gals, - And was all round uncommon popular, - Bein’ likewise an awful fightin’ man, - And there he _did_ slop over. For one day - He met a grizzly bar upon the prowl, - And whistled to it, and the grizzly _come_; - But when he went he carried by express - All of that fine young man inside of him; - And that is just about the time they go. - - “We had another from Connecticut: - A widder run him down, and married him - Inside the very school-house where he taught, - Just as an Injun cooks a terrapin - In its own shell, or as a lovely deer - Is sometimes aboriginally biled - Inside of its own skin, for that poor man - Has been in bilin’ water ever sense: - They say she makes it solemn hot for him. - And that is just about the time they go. - - “The third was well enough, but he was lame; - I needn’t tell you how _that_ one got spiled; - For sense he couldn’t run, one day, of course, - The Injuns overtook him, and the way - They treated him was pretty nigh as bad - As if they had been widders, and that man - Their lawful spouse. They also made it hot, - Because they took and briled him at the stake. - And that is just about the time they go. - - “Then we tried women-folks to keep the school. - We writ for one. She came; and as she lit - Down from the stage, a man proposed to her - And was accepted, and she married him - That very night; in fact, within an hour - He gin a party, and we had a dance; - But Education suffered all the same, - As she declined to teach, bein’ inclined - To conjugate—excuse my little joke; - But that is just about the time they go. - - “The second—wall, _I took_ the second one - About the middle of the week she come; - But telegraphed unto the Institute, - ‘Send on some more; keep sending of ’em on.’ - And so they kept a-comin’, but they kep’ - A-going speedier than they arrove, - For the third lady was abducted by - A highwayman before she got to us— - She took it awful kindly, I believe. - And that is just about the time they go.” - - “But why,” exclaimed the wondering traveller, - “Don’t you obtain a scareful, ugly one— - Some hideous old faggot, just like that - Tremendous terror with the lantern-jaws - By yonder ticket-window? She would keep.” - “Alas! how strange,” replied the Ancient Man; - “How is it that you people from the East - Will never understand us pioneers? - That woman is my wife—the very one - I cut away from school; and she’s by far - The handsomest there was in all the drove. - For that is just about the time they go.” - - - - - A CALIFORNIAN ROMANCE - - - Know’st thou the burning lay of Dante’s own, - “_Nix mangiare é il diavolo!_ - _Ma peggior la donna?_” that’s to say, - “’Tis hard to be hard up, but harder still - To get ahead of women.” Never much, - While in Night’s cushion stars like pin-heads shine. - - Oh, listen to me, for the tale I tell - Is of Chicago, and the latest out, - And by the noble _Tribune_ novelist. - “Say, do you mean it, honest Injun, now?” - Said Vivian O’Riley to his sire. - “And faith I do,” the earnest sire replied: - “Marry this girl if so ye choose, me son, - But—if ye do—the divil a ha’penny - Of all me fortune will yees ever see, - While in Night’s cushion stars like pin-hids shine.” - - Two hours have passed, and so have eight or ten - Slow-rolling tramway cars, until there comes - The one which Vivian wants, and soon it lands - The lover at the door of Pericles - O’Rourke, the father of _bellissima_, - The Lady Ethelberta. Lo, she sits - In her boudoir (the high-toned word for “room”), - Casting her soul in reverie o’er the trees, - While in Night’s cushion stars like pin-heads shine. - - “I have bad news for you, my utmost own,” - Said Vivian in sad tones unto his love. - “Cusses and crocuses upon my luck! - And damns and daffodils on everything!” - And as he spoke there came into his face - A grey old scaly look which seemed to say, - _Don’t bluff or you’ll be called_. “My dad and I - Have had a round about, and he has dis— - Sis—sis—inherited me; and I have - Been given the g.-b. on your account, - My be—b—beau—tiful. And I am now - A beg—egg—eggar for you, Bertie dear! - While in Night’s cushion stars like pin-heads shine. - - Her soft dusk eyes grew wide and serious. - - “Yes,” he continued, “I am regular poor, - Poor as a busted Indian, and of course - It follows in the logic of our life - That I must give you up. I cannot ask - One in the golden glory of events - To come and share a fate which runs upon - A thousand annual dollars. Ne’er a case. - While in Night’s cushion stars like pin-heads shine.” - - She looked at him with an incarnadine, - Rich, passionate, scarlet-sanguine crimson flush - Surging into her cheeks. If it had been - A _full_, ’tis probable that Vivian - Would have gone under; but a _flush_ - Could never scare him or his similar, - While in Night’s cushion stars like pin-heads shine. - - “Oh, Vivian!” she gurgled, like a dove, - “Oh, do you think I will let up on you? - And do you deem I would go back upon - The note I signed, and run to protest?—no— - Not while the snowy paper of my truth - Is quiréd by the young-eyed cherubim, - And in Night’s cushion stars like pin-heads shine.” - - Three months or ninety days went by, and then - Upon a golden Californian - December afternoon, with azure skies - Like those of summer as they are produced - In less expensive countries, men beheld - A diamondaine wedding at the house - Of Ethelberta’s sire. As Vivian - And his fair bride sat in the car—ri—age - Which bore them to the station, ever on - She gazed upon him like a Lamia - With a strange look, which one might call, in fact, - A weirdly precious smile. He gazed at her. - “And so you would not leave me, love?” he cooed, - “Even when you thought me poor?” And she replied, - “Never, my precious one. I learned lang syne - That when a sucker once drops off the hook - It never bites again. And well you know - That you were on the point of dropping off, - And so your pa and I put up the job - So as to land you, dear—as faith we did— - A little quicker. Oh, men, men, men, men! - If ye thus round, girls _will_ get square with you, - While in Night’s cushion stars like pin-heads shine.” - - - - - THE STORY OF MR. SCROPER, ARCHITECT - - - Yes, I’ll tell you how it happened—that, too, with all due respect - To the memory of Scroper, late departed architect— - How it came that he departed so abruptly in the train; - Why it was he’s been so late, too, in returnin’ back again. - - Now some folks are born to greatness, some achieve it, as you’ve read; - And some justly stand and take it as it dollops on their head; - But in this sublime Republic, where it’s help and help again, - We all generally make it in cahoot with other men. - - Scroper was a fine young fellow, of a monstrous enterprise; - Likewise really ambitious, for he was so bound to rise, - And he left no stone unturned—nor a log—he rolled ’em all, - Till at last he got the contract for our new great City Hall. - - Now, of all our mortal actors here upon this earthly stage, - The contractors have the hardest parts to play, I will engage; - Specially in bran-new cities, just between the knead and bake, - And where all the population are severely on the make. - - What between the Common Council, and the more uncommon sort, - Politicians, Press, and preachers, Scroper fell uncommon short. - All of such as come a-plummin’ when a puddin’s to be had; - All against his best contractin’ counteractin’ mighty bad. - - Therefore when this edificial had got up his edifice, - All who’d not been edifishing with him soon got up a hiss; - Said the stuff upon the buildin’ was the worst that could be had, - Likewise called the architexture architechnically bad. - - So it came one solemn evenin’ in a Presbyterian rain - Mr. Scroper all in silence gently took the Northern train; - All he left was one small message to a friend who shared his home,— - _When the darned affair blows over, telegraph for me to come_. - - So he sat one summer mornin’, far away in Montreal, - Musin’ on his recent patrons, while at heart he darned ’em all, - When there came a little letter datin’ from his recent home,— - “_All the thing is quite blown over, back again we bid you come_. - - “_For last night we had a tempest,—while the mighty thunder rang,_ - _Up there came a real guster, which blew down the whole shebang._ - (_Shebang_’s a word from Hebrew, meanin’ Seven, sayeth Krupp, - And applied to any shanty where they play at seven-up.) - - “_Truly it was well blown over all to splinders in the night,_ - _And the winds of heaven are blowing o’er the ruins as I write._” - Gentlemen, the story’s over. It would last for many a day - If it told of every buildin’ built upon the swindlin’ lay. - - - - - THAT INTERESTIN’ BOY - - -HE sat upon the window-sill and jingled ninety cents. There came -along another boy, who said, “How are you, Pence? You’re goin’ out -a-Christmassin’, I guess, among the Dutch, to buy some gifts.” The -other spoke: “No—not exactly much. I am in luck, this year, I am. -I haven’t any bills. My sister’s sick, and can’t expect no presents but -her pills. My brother Ben’s in Canada, away upon the wing. Of -course, you know he can’t suppose I’ll buy him anything. My mother -pulled my hair, last night, until she made me squall. Of course she -knows that she’s gone up for anything at all.” “But there’s your father,” -said his friend. “Well,—yes—I really thought that I was stuck on the -old man, and that he had me caught, and I was kinder looking round -to hunt him up a pipe; but then, this very mornin’ he hit me such a -wipe! That fixed his Christmas goose for him, and took away his joy. -Now all this money’s goin’ to a good and clever boy, to buy him lots of -pea-nuts and candy, I’ll engage—with caramels; and that good boy is -just my size and age.” - - - - - MISS MILES, THE TELEGRAPH GIRL - - - Thy heart is like some icy lake, - On whose cold brink I stand; - Oh, buckle on my spirit’s skate, - And take me by the hand! - - And lead, thou living saint, the way - To where the ice is thin, - That it may break beneath my feet, - And let a lover in. - - _Spiritualistic Poetry._ - - Since Soul first basked in Passion’s sun, - I always ran to seed - In seeking One who’d gone and done - Some great heroic deed; - And deemed I’d find Life’s Earnest Truth - In Gloriana Clarke, - Whose eyes were like two carriage lamps - Advancing through the dark. - - But as the rose of morning fades - Before the fire of noon, - Or sparrows yield in sylvan glades - To mocking-birds in June, - My Gloriana’s stock went down— - Its wheat all turned to chaff— - When I got in with Mary Miles, - Who ran the telegraph. - - Her brow betokened serious life; - I knew my final queen; - A soul divine in gaiter-boots, - A Dream in crinoline. - Her parasol a glory seemed - Around a vivid saint, - The whole one spirit-photograph - Illumed with heavenly paint. - - And thus she lifted up her voice, - That mission-mantled maid; - And thus she spoke with golden grace, - And sacredly she said— - A-pointing at me all the time - With that same parasol, - The light which gleams from silent lands - Around her seemed to fall— - - “You’ve told of great and holy deeds— - I s’pose they all are true— - But in our telegraphic line - We’ve some adventures, too; - And though I do not like to boast - Of what I ever done, - _One_ thing my Moral Consciousness - Declares was Number One. - - “Last Fall I was in Tennessee - A-travelling might and main, - When all at once the engine broke— - They couldn’t run the train; - And if another train should come - ’Twould rather make us scream.” - List to the glorious deed she did, - This angel of my dream. - - “I saw a telegraphic line - Was running by our _rout_, - Though not a house or a machine - Was anywhere about. - And the conductor said, said he, - With his wild eyes of light: - ‘Miss Miles, if we’d a battery, - I’d fix this scrape all right. - - “‘I’d send ’em down a telegram - Some twenty miles below, - And ask for help.’ I looked at him— - ‘I’ll fix the business, Joe. - Is there a pair of nippers here? - If so, those nippers bring; - And if you can’t, a sharp-edged file - Would be a heaven-sent thing.’” - - “Unshadowed girl! I see the dodge,” - I cried in rapturous joy; - “And didst thou climb the post thyself?” - Said she, “I did, my boy. - A higher law of moral truth - Gave courage to my soul; - I did not show my garters once - In going up the pole. - - “No poet ever felt such thrills - In touching of his lyre - As I did when I found there came - A message through the wire. - That wire I cut, and ’tween my teeth - I held it—ay, with pride— - And with my tongue the current clicked - To the wire on t’other side. - - “On one side came the message in - From some man in New York: - ‘_Buy if you can, at ninety-five,_ - _Five thousand sides of pork._’ - And this same electricity - I changed as in a flash: - ‘_Send down an engine right away,_ - _Or we shall go to smash._’ - - “The engine came, and all were saved— - Yet life is but a Dream. - I live—thou livest in a cloud: - We are not what we seem. - Still craving for the Infinite - In Time’s ideal lodge, - I grasped a truth—yet after all - ’Twas but an earthly dodge.” - - I gazed upon that spirit grand, - Upon my knees I sank, - And from mine eyes the burning sand - The scalding tear-drops drank. - Then soft she smiled: “If deeds like this - Can yield such victory, - And I am in your line, my love, - Then, love, I yield to thee.” - - Ho, maidens of Vienna’s show! - Ho, matrons of Lucerne! - Look out for us next summer, when - We give your shop a turn. - I have won my soul’s ideal, - I have booked her for a wife; - And the Fancy and the Real - Are united in my life. - - - - - AN AMERICAN COCK-TALE - - - PROFESSOR LUTHER CRANMER BANGS - Has travelled in Europe more than a year, - And no one need ever be troubled with pangs - At telling him aught which he thought was severe; - For there’s ne’er a Yankee of any size, - No matter how sharply he chaffs or slangs, - That can boast he ever has taken a rise - On Professor Luther Cranmer Bangs. - - _He_ was the man whom Dr. Snayle - Read a lecture to on a morning call— - Read it clear through from bill to tail; - And Bangs like Old Piety bore it all. - Said Snayle, when the sheets were all up-read, - “I’m a-going with this to Boston, you know”— - “I’m glad to hear it,” his listener said: - “I always _did_ hate those Bostonians so!” - - Well, last week on a City Atlas ’bus - The Professor and I went riding down, - While the driver politely gave to us - Opinions on things about the town. - And finding my friend was “prone to receive,” - And came from the Western land afar, - He told him just what one _ought_ to believe - In politics, piety, love, and war. - - Then glancing at Bangs, who sat to leeward, - Looking as mild as cambric tea, - He said: “I once ’ad—but I soon got cured - Of—a wish to go to Amerikee. - I was tired of always a-drivin’ these cusses, - And so I thought I would like to range”—— - “You were right,” said Bangs. “In our Yankee ’busses - It’s the _driver_ who takes (and keeps) the change!” - - Sharp glanced the driver at Bangs; then said, - “What scared me of goin’ was this, d’ye see,— - I’d a friend in New York, whose letters I read; - And he wrote: In the whole of your country, - He ’ad looked the biggest graveyards through, - Looked ’em through with uncommon keer, - But never ’ad come to a single view - Of a cove[10] as wos aged fifty year. - - “And as this is the case in hevery State, - I think there’s nothink on hearth for cure’n - A chap hof a fancy to hemigrate - Like readin’ of them graveyards of yourn. - So I thought I’d rather perlong my breath, - Tho’ sometimes here a fellow they hangs”—— - “You are right, my friend. Choose your own way of death, - _I_ go in for that,” said Professor Bangs. - - “But I see you have not understood - Why no aged person is ever found - Among us. We only want _young_ blood - On our driving, thriving, Yankee ground. - Youth alone has the power to go it; - Old men are a drag on putting it through, - So we kill them off—and our tombstones show it— - Before they arrive at forty-two.” - - Here the driver gave a long _cher_—_rup_! - And gazed at the Yankee, dark and wan, - As if he had woke the wrong passenger up - While calmly Professor Bangs went on: - “In walking up and down Broadway, - Large mourning sign-boards at times appear - With this inscription in letters grey— - ‘_Elderly persons extinguished here_.’ - - “And they put in your hand a pamphlet small, - Adapted to people of different stations, - Which cites the law, and exhorts them all - _To dismiss in peace_ their old relations. - ‘Why let them linger in a vale,’ - It states, ‘where often colds they catch? - Send them to _us_, and we’ll end the tale - With politeness, humanity, and dispatch.’ - - “‘N.B.—For those who would die by the trigger - We’ve a merciful man who’s a practised shot, - With an elegant room, and a careful nigger - To lay them genteelly out on the spot. - Our principal has a chemist of fame, - Whom he exclusively employs on - Those who set their checks on a different game - And like to pass to heaven by poison.’ - - “’Tis thus the ladies generally choose it; - They love to die without pain or pangs - By a nice little globule—who could refuse it? - None but a man,” said Professor Bangs. - “A _saw buck_ extra they always charge - For the stylish mode of extinguishing breath. - A saw buck’s ten dollars. It’s rather large, - But then it ensures you a _cocktail_ death.” - - “Vot may that be?” said the driver, meekly, - In the tone of a greatly altered man. - I observed that he seemed to be growing weakly - Since the Professor his story began. - “A cocktail’s a tipple—America vaunts of it— - So flavoured, so foamy, so spiced, and whirled, - That he who can get as much as he wants of it - Very soon drinks himself out of the world. - - “’Tis said in the sky—right over Paris, - Where the American heaven is found, - Where everything brick-like and fast and rare is— - The cocks with tumblers for tails run round. - They cut to the bar for all things thinkable,— - All that is nice is a gratis boon,— - Then they come back with your favourite drinkable - And their sickle-feather’s a silver spoon! - - “But he who invented the cocktail brew is - The man before you. Thus came the hint: - I had once been kissing a pretty Jewess, - Who just before had been nibbling mint; - And in order to recall the taste - Which I found in pressing her luscious two lips, - I mingled brandy and mint, in haste, - With sugar and ice—and thus made Juleps. - - “The first step was, therefore, the julep perfected, - Which gives us a _menthal_ spirit of wine; - And finding myself thereby respected, - I sought to make bitter and sweet combine. - So I took of bitters aromatic - (I prefer the tincture of bark myself, - With orange flavoured, but if you lack it, - Try any kind on the bar-room shelf). - - “And I fixed them with sugar, and ice, and spirits, - In a silver tumbler, lightning-quick, sir, - Which I shook till all their several merits - Were combined in one subtle and strange elixir. - Then I passed it through a silver sieve - Kept carefully free from spot or rust; - And the final jimglorious touch to give, - I threw in a sprinkle of nutmeg-dust. - - “And I am told by the spirit-rappers - That in the American Paris-heaven, - Though they’ve fancy drinks which are total snappers, - There’s nothing better than mine are given. - So they die in New York without any pangs, - For they know in the next world, to requite ’em, - They’ll sit over Paris,” said Mr. Bangs, - “A-drinking cocktails _ad infinitum_.” - - Here we got down, and the driver said, - “Vell, _you_’re of the kind that will allers bang ’em!” - And turning our mocassins homeward, we sped - To that great American wigwam, the Langham. - Said Bangs, “O’er _my_ eyes there is drawn no wool. - That man has no heart who would tell you a mock tale; - But story for story I told to the Bull, - What I call a real American cocktail.” - ------ - -[10] _Cove_, a word erroneously supposed to be slang. It is derived from -the Gypsy _covo_ or _covi_, meaning _that_—that fellow, that thing. - - - - - JUDGE WYMAN - A RURAL YANKEE LEGEND - - - Long ago, in the State of Maine, - There lived a Judge—a good old soul, - Rather well up in “genial vein,” - And not by any means “down on” the bowl. - N.B.—By “bowl” I mean the “cup,” - And by “cup”—N.B.—I mean a _glass_, - Since neither bowls nor cups go up - At present when we our liquor pass. - (Although I recall— - ’Tis three years this Fall— - When travelling in the wilderness, - And things were all in an awful mess, - And our crockery, with a horrible crash, - Had gone its way to eternal smash) - (It came, as the driver allowed, from racin’), - We drank champagne from a tin wash-basin. - Excuse the digression—_non est crimen_— - And return to our Judge, whose name was Wyman. - The Judge oft drank in a hostelrie - Kept by a man whose name was Sterret, - Where he met with jolly company, - But where the whisky was void of merit. - The real Minié rifle brand, - That at forty rods kills out of hand. - - Well, it came to pass that one night the Judge - At Sterret’s, after a long, hot day, - Got so tight that he couldn’t budge, - And found himself “well over the bay,” - With a “snake in his boot” and one in his hat, - Like a biled owl, or a monkey horned, - Tangle-legged, hawk-eyed, on a bat, - Peepy, skewered, and slewed, and corned. - Couldn’t tell a skunk from a pint of Cologne, - Couldn’t see the difference ’tween _fips_ and cents; - And when he attempted to walk alone, - Simply made a Virginia fence; - Till liquor yielded at last to sleep, - And he sank into Dream River—four miles deep. - - _Sanctus Ivus fuit Brito, advocatus sed non latro._ - “Saint Ives the Briton first took a brief, - For though a lawyer he wasn’t a thief.” - This is what the story declares, - Which says he listens to lawyers’ prayers. - Likely enough! perhaps he may— - Whenever a lawyer tries to pray! - But another legend, old and quaint, - Assigns them a different kind of saint, - With a singular foot and peculiar hue, - Whose breath is tinged with a beautiful blue; - - And this was _rather_ the saint, I think, - Who inspired the young lawyers, twenty-four, - Who helped Judge Wyman to stow his drink, - And made them rejoice to hear him snore. - Who, save the devil, would not have wept - To see these graceless legal loons - Tricking the good old Judge as he slept, - And filling his pockets with Sterret’s spoons? - With silver spoons; likewise for butter - A handsome ten-dollar silver knife; - Then put Judge Wyman on a shutter, - And carried him home to his loving wife. - - If any ladies read these rhymes, - Which in Edgar A. Poetry are called “runes,” - They may just imagine what sort of times - Mrs. Wyman had when she found the spoons! - The Judge’s grief was full of merit, - And his lady wasn’t inclined to flout it; - But she quietly took the spoons to Sterret, - And nothing more was said about it. - A month went by, and _Fama_, the wench! - Had not spread a whisper to urge remorse, - And Judge Wyman sat on the legal bench, - Trying a fellow for stealing a horse. - The evidence was all due north. - It froze the prisoner every minute, - Till Judge Wyman called the culprit forth, - And asked what “he had to say _agin_ it?” - - The prisoner looked at the planks of pine - Of the little rural court-house ceiling, - At all the jury in a line, - Then answered, his only small card dealing, - “Judge, I hev lots of honesty, - But when I’m drunk I can’t control it; - And as for this ’ere hoss—d’ye see?— - I was drunk as blazes when I stole it.” - Answered the Judge, “If this Court were a dunce, - She would say, in law that is no excuse; - For the Court held that opinion _once_, - But of late her connection’s been gettin’ loose. - One may be certain on law to-day, - And find himself to-morrow dumb.— - - “But answer me one thing truly, and say - Where’bouts it was you got your rum?” - “I drank because I was invited, - And got my rum at Sterret’s, d’ye see?” - “Mr. Sheriff,” cried the Judge, excited, - “This instant set that poor man free! - The liquor that Sterret sells, by thunder! - Would make a man do anything, - And some time or other, I shouldn’t wonder - If it made a saint on the gallows swing; - It will run a man to perdition quicker - Than it takes a fiddler to reel off tunes; - _Why, this Court herself once got drunk on that liquor,_ - _And stole the whole of old Sterret’s spoons_!” - - - - - IN NEVADA - - - Like an awful alligator - Breathing fire and screeching hell-some, - With a pack of hounds behind him, - As if hunted by the devil, - Came the smoking locomotive, - Followed by the cars and tender, - Down among the mountain gorges, - Till it stopped before a village - As the starry night came on. - - Just before a mountain village, - Where there was a howling shindy - Just around a bran-new gallows, - With a roaring blazing bonfire - Casting a red light upon it, - While a crowd of roughest rowdies - Shouted, “Cuss him! darn his vitals! - Bust him! sink him! burn him! skin him!” - Evidently much excited - As the starry night came on. - - On the gallows stood a culprit - Shrieking painfully for mercy. - As the train and engine halted, - Louder yelled the gasping victim. - Then out cried the grim conductor, - “What in thunder is the matter? - What’s ye doin’ with that feller? - Why’ve ye got both fire and gallows?” - And unto him some one answered, - As the starry night came on:— - - “This all-fired, skunk-eyed villain, - Whom you see upon the gallows, - Lately stole the loveliest mewel[11] - That you ever sot your peeps on, - For a hundred shiny dollars, - Went and sold it to the Greasers; - But, as you perceive, we’ve nailed him, - And at present we’re debatin’ - Whether we had better hang him, - Or else roast him like an Injun, - Ere the starry night comes on. - - “And I think ez ther ar’ ladies - Here to grace this gay occasion, - In the train, and quite convenient, - We had better take and burn him. - ’Twould be kinder interestin’, - Or, as folks might say, romantic, - To behold an execution, - As we do ’em here in Hell Town, - In the real frontier fashion, - Ere the starry night comes on.” - - Up from all the assembled ladies, - And from all the passageros, - Went a scream of protestation,— - “What! for nothing but a mewel! - Only for a hundred dollars - Roast alive a fine young fellow! - Never, never, never, ne—ver!” - Falling on her knees, a damsel - Begged the maddened crowd to spare him, - And to her replied the spokesman, - As the starry night came on:— - - “Since the lady begs it of us, - And as we ar’ galiant fellers, - We will smash the tail of Jestis, - And will spare this orful miscrint, - Ef you’ll raise a hundred dollars - To replace the vanished mewel. - Then this fiend, unwhipped, undamaged, - May go wanderin’ to thunder, - Soon as he darnation pleases, - Ere the starry night comes on.” - - Straight among the pitying ladies, - And the other passageros, - Went the hat around in circle. - Dollars, quarters, halves, and greenbacks - Rained into it till the hundred - Was accomplished, and the ransom - Paid unto Judge Lynch in person, - Who received it very gracious, - And at once released the prisoner, - Sternly bidding him to squaddle, - Just as fast as he could make it, - Ere the starry night came on. - And the lady who by kneeling - Had destroyed the path of justice, - Seized upon the fine young fellow, - He who had the mulomania, - Or who was a kleptomuliac; - And she led him by the halter, - While the reckless population - Made atrocious puns upon it; - And she stowed him in the Pullman - As the safest sanctuary, - As the starry night came on. - - It was over. Loud the whistle - Blew a signal of departure; - Still the dying bonfire flickering - Showed on high the ghastly gallows, - Seeming like some hungry monster - Disappointed of a victim, - Gasping as in fitful anger, - Pouring out unto the gallows - Or the sympathetic scaffold - All the story of its sorrow, - As the clouds passed o’er the moon-face, - And the starry night came on. - - Soon the train and those within it - Reached and passed a second station, - And was speeding ever onward, - When at once a shriek came ringing— - ’Twas an utterance from the lady - Who by tears had baffled justice; - Loud she cried, “Where is my hero? - Where, oh, where’s the handsome prisoner?” - And the affable conductor - Searched the train from clue to ear-ring, - But they could not find the captive. - He had clearly just evaded - At the station just behind them, - As the starry night came on. - Then outspoke a man unnoted - Hitherto: “I heard the fellow - Say just now to the conductor, - Ere we reached the second teapot, - That he reckoned he must hook it - This here time a little sooner, - If he hoped to get his portion - Of the hundred, since the last time - He came awful nigh to lose it; - For it might be anted off all - ’Fore he got a chance to strike it, - Ere the starry night came on.” - - And the Unknown thus continued: - “They hev hed that gallows standin’ - All the summer, and the people - Mostly git ther livin’ from it, - For they take ther turns in bein’ - Mournful victims who hev stolen - Every one a lovely mewel; - And they always every evenin’ - Hev the awful death-fire kindled, - And the ghastly captive ready. - It’s the fourth time I hev seen it, - Comin’ through and never missed it; - Only for a variation - Now and then they hire a nigger - For the people from New England, - As the starry night comes on. - - “And they find that fire and gallows - Just as good as a bonanza, - For they got the Legislater - Lately to incopperate it; - And I hear the stock is risin’ - Up like prairie smoke in autumn. - Yes, in this world men diskiver - Cur’ous ways to make a livin’, - Ez you’ll find when you hev tried it - For a year or so about here.” - And the passengers in silence - Mused upon this new experience, - Most of all the fine young lady, - As the dragon darted onward, - And the starry night came on. - ------ - -[11] Mule. - - - - - THE PHILANTHROPIC CLUB - - - I am the member of a club of reg’lar noble seeds, - Whose object is to give rewards for philanthropic deeds. - We root for magnanimity as spiders hunt for flies, - So we lately held a meeting to award our annual prize. - - Then our President reported with great solemnity - The case of Dayball Carter, a man in Tennessee, - Who plunged into a burning store as if his doom had come, - But emergéd with an infant—and a gallon jug of rum. - - But the club could nowise settle, admitting all the fact, - If the baby or the liquor had inspired the noble act, - For ’twas proved he kept the liquor while he let the infant go, - So the case of Mr. Carter was adjourned _in dubio_. - - Then the Secretary read us, in very moving tones, - The wondrous case of courage of General Pompey Jones, - Who found a hydrophobic dog upon a neighbour’s farm, - And roped his neck and led him off where he could do no harm. - - Then Brother Chunk, of Pewterville, declared that it was sad - To have to state that Jones had no idea the dog was mad, - And that in circles where he moved ’twas very freely said - He’d picked it up intending to come out one dog ahead. - - Then the next case reported in the doings of the day - Was that of Huckleberry Pod, a man in Iowa, - Who slopped into a raging flood to save a drowning maid, - And did it like a beaver, as admiring neighbours said. - - Then Brother Chunk again let down his fist with startling bump, - And said he’d found that Mr. Pod refused to make the jump - Till offered fifty dollars by the people of the town, - And that then he wouldn’t do it till he got the money down. - - Last of all we heard the instance of Golias Purple Fife, - Who went into an awful well to save a fellow’s life, - A man who always spoke of Fife as of a blooming fool, - And who recently had done him blind in trading for a mule; - - And on top of this, moreover, in addition, ’twas a fact, - He refused a quarter-dollar for this noble manly act, - And when they asked him what he’d drink, or if he’d take a bite, - He jumped in silence on his mule and rode into the night. - - This case, in the opinion of the members of the club, - Was much the most deserving, and the nearest to the hub; - And each allowed he’d never heard the like in all his life, - So, by general acclamation, they bestowed the prize on Fife:— - - A silver-plated snuff-box, with a compass in the lid, - With the words, “_If sold at auction always do as you are bid_,” - Which we sent him in a hurry ere it might be understood - That this, too, was not an instance of the pure unmingled good. - - And these are the proceedings of these noble-minded seeds, - Who make it their profession to discover virtuous deeds; - And every day turns out a lot, but still ’tis on our mind - That a case without a speck in it is very hard to find. - - - - - THE COLOURED FORTUNE-HUNTER - - - Pete Jonsing went to see the County Clerk - About a marriage license, and the man - Said unto him for fun, but seriously: - “I hope the bride possesses fifty cents, - Because the Legislature’s passed a law - That any girl with less must not be wed.” - “Jis’ go ahead wid dat ’ar paper, Boss,” - Peter replied; then whispered, bending down: - “Dar’s rumers—and dey is reliable— - Dat de young woman dat I’m goin’ fur - Has got two dollars and a quarter—_shoa_. - And dat’s de reason wy I marries her.” - - - - - PENN - ON A TEXT BY ROBERT BURDETTE - - - When William Penn appeared before King Charles - To get the charter of his Promised Land - In Pennsylvaniá, - ’Twas in his usual free-and-easy style, - With hands in pockets and his hat on side— - Singing _Lard-dardy day_! - _Let us drink and be merry, laugh, sing, and rejoice,_ - _With claret and sherry, theorbo and voice,_ - _Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay!_ - - King Charles at once removed his feathered tile. - “Keep on your hat, young man!” said William Penn, - “It is our Quaker way; - And people will not know that you are bald; - Be quite at home to make your guests at home— - Singing _Lard-dardy day_! - _This changeable world to our joys is unjust,_ - _All treasure’s uncertain, so down with your dust,_ - _Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay!_” - - “It is the custom here,” the King replied, - “For only one to cover at a time; - This is the courtly way.” - “Then you should have more covers,” warbled Penn. - “Warm people’s heads to make them merry men— - Singing _Lard-dardy day_! - _And in frolics dispose of your shillings and pence,_ - _Since we all shall be past it a hundred years hence,_ - _Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay_! - - “’Tis a queer world, and faith! I do not lay - My hat around, loose, in a domicile - Where I don’t know the way, - Unless some party gives a check for it; - I’ve travelled some—I have—and can’t be bit— - Singing _Lard-dardy day_! - Since, despite your invention, and learning, and sense, - You’ll be _non est inventus_ a hundred years hence, - _Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay!_” - - “Odds-fish!” exclaimed his Royal Majesty, - “He talks full well, but as it seems to me, - According to our way, - There’s a tremendous pig in this same Penn.” - “Bravo, young man!” said William; “try again— - Singing _Lard-dardy day_! - You have brought me a terrible one on the nob, - But I bear you no malice, not being a snob, - _Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay!_” - - And thus it is that history is writ, - And thus it is good men are slandered sore - From ever till to-day. - Some writer pastes a joke; it may remain - Safe in a corner from Time’s wind and rain - Till Time has rolled away. - _So, hurrah for King Charles! and hurrah, too, for Penn!_ - _And all such and similar excellent men!_ - _Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay!_ - - - - - BALLAD OF THE FOXES - - - There is a golden glory in my song - As of a picture by Carpaccio, - For it is of the early morning-time - When every man believed with tender faith - That animals could talk—oh, lovely lore! - So, lady, listen as the lay runs on. - - There was a goose, and she was travelling - Across the land for her dyspepsia, - And at the noontide sat to rest herself - In a small thicket, when there came along - Two starving foxes, perishing to find - Something which was not too-too-utter-ish - To serve for dinner. And as they were wild - For want of food, it was but natural - That they should likewise be confounded cross; - Oh, lady, listen as the lay runs on! - - And as they halted near the thicket, one - Of them observed, “If you were half as sharp - As books make out, you would not now, I’ll bet, - Be ravenous enough to gnaw the grass.” - “And if you were as big, or half as big, - As you believe you are,” snarled Number Two, - “You’d be a lion of the largest size - _Minus_ his roar, and pluck, and dignity.” - Oh, listen, lady, as the lay runs on! - - “Please to observe I want no impudence - From any fifteen-nickel quadruped - Of your peculiar shape,” snapped Number One. - “And if you give me but another note - Of your chin-music,” snarled out Number Two, - “I’ll make a wreck of you, you wretched beast, - Beyond insurance—bet your tail on that!” - Oh, lady, listen as the lay runs on! - - “You are the champion snob of all the beasts!” - “And you the upper scum of all the frauds.” - “You are the weathercock of infamy.” - “And you the lightning-rod of falsehood’s spire.” - “You are a thief!” “Ditto.” “You lie.” “I ain’t.” - “Shut up, you goy!” And hearing this, the goose - Could bear no more, but walking from the bush, - Put on expression most benevolent, - And said, “Oh, gentlemen, for shame! for shame! - I’ll settle this dispute: in the first place - Let me remark, as an impartial friend——” - Oh, listen, lady, as the lay runs on! - - But she did not remark, because they made - A rush at her and caught her by the throat, - And ate her up; and as they picked their teeth - With toothpicks made of her last pin-feathers, - The first observed, and that quite affably, - “Only a goose would ever make attempt - To settle a dispute when foxes fight”— - Oh, lady, listen as the lay runs on! - - “And while I have a very great respect - For any peacemaker,” said Number Two, - “I would suggest that I invariably - Have found, if they be really honest folk - Who interfere with reprobates like us, - They’re always eaten up; there is, I think, - More clanship between devils any day - Than among all the angels. Interest - Binds us together, and howe’er we fight - Among ourselves to ease our bitter blood, - We do not hate each other half as much - As we do hate the good. Neighbours who fight - Can generally take most perfect care, - Not only of themselves, but of the goose - Who sticks her bill into the fuss they make. - This banquet now adjourns until it meets - Another wingéd angel of the sort - Which it has just discussed—may it be soon!” - Lady, this lyric runs no further on. - - - - - EST MODUS IN REBUS - A NARRATIVE OF NEW YORK - - - I would not say to man, “Don’t spread yourself - To win the admiration of mankind,” - Since he who never spreads can never shine, - And he who never shines is never seen, - And he who’s never seen is counted out - In the great game of life; yet what is spread - Too thin entirely, when the sun shines out - Must soon dry up and be a fly-away. - - There was a man who took his daily dine - At a delightful _table d’hôte_, where he - Was waited on by an obedient youth, - Who, as a waiter, was a paragon - Of quick politeness. He’d apologise - If the sun shone too much, or if it rained, - And say in simple faith that he would speak - To the proprietor and have it changed, - Then vanish like an elfin fly-away. - - The vulgar boarder at this _table d’hôte_ - Was one who greatly loved to spread himself - And play the imperial before the rest; - And finding that the waiter cushioned it, - Sat down on him severely. Every time - He spoke he called him names, and said that he - Forthwith would punish him in cruel wise - Unless he tortled faster, or unless - The steak was better cooked. And then he’d swear— - Oh, death and dandelions! how he would swear! - Till all the blood of all the boarders round - Was almost turned to cherry-water ice, - And each and all wished they could fly away. - - And yet this waiter had a fund reserved - Of pretty stout pugnacity and pride, - And every time the boarder called him “fool,” - Or “low-born rooster,” he would add it up - To the preceding pile of expletives, - And think it over. He did not forget - A single word. Of all the abusatives - There was not one which proved a fly-away. - - At last the crisis came, when one fine day, - For some imagined fault, the boarder said - Unto the waiter, that unless he stirred - A little quicker he would bung his eye, - And take him by the legs _instanter_-ly - And wipe the floor with him. But with that word - He overdrew the account. That was the fly - Which overset the camel, and the drop - Which made the pail slop over. For the youth - On that let out his Injun. All at once - He turned both red and white, as fat and lean - Are seen in a beefsteak before ’tis cooked, - And blew his soul out in a fly-away. - - “You misspelled copy of a gentleman - With all the meaning lost!—if you dare call - Me names again as you have often done, - I’ll bung your pallid eyes. You’ve said too much, - So now just dwindle down. I’ve always been - Obedient and polite, and served you well, - As you were never served by any one, - And all you ever gave me was abuse, - And all because you were a vulgar fool. - Now stop your noise, or I will sling you out - Of yonder window for a fly-away!” - - The boarder rose as if in roaring wrath, - The waiter jerked his linen jacket off - And fairly danced about in gypsy style, - Impatient for a fight. But then the guest - As if with self-command restrained himself, - And said to the assembled company, - “There must be lines in all society - To regulate our conduct. Lines, I say, - Which separate us from the vulgar herd, - With whom we may not fight. I draw the line - At waiters.” Here he looked about the room - To be applauded; but the only sound - Which rose was that of a tremendous slap - On his own face, and then a mighty roar - Of laughter from the happy company, - For all his valour was a fly-away. - - So he sat down too terrified to speak; - And then the waiter took a dripping jug - Of ice-water and poured out every drop - Upon his head, yea, water, ice, and all; - And then that boarder burst in bitter tears, - And blubbered like a boy, while all the room - Rang with redoubled laughter. Then a guest - Proposed a vote of thanks to him who had - Put down a public nuisance, and the next - Passed round a hat and took collection up - To give the waiter as a small reward - For punishing a coward. Then he rose, - And since that hour has been a fly-away. - - - - - THE MASHER - - - The word to “mash,” in the sense of causing love or attracting - by a glance or fascinating look, came into ordinary slang from - the American stage. Thus an actress was often fined for - “mashing” or smiling at men in the audience. It was introduced - by the well-known gypsy family of actors, C., among whom Romany - was habitually spoken. The word “masher” or “mash” means in that - tongue to allure, delude, or entice. It was doubtless much aided - in its popularity by its quasi-identity with the English word. A - girl could be called a masher as she could be called a - man-killer, or killing. But there can be no doubt as to the - gypsy origin of “mash” as used on the stage. I am indebted for - this information to the late well-known _impresario_ Palmer of - New York, and I made a note of it years before the term had - become at all popular. - - It was in the Indian summer-time, when life is tender brown, - And people in the country talk of going into town, - When the nights are crisp and cooling, though the sun is warm by day, - In the home-like town of Glasgow, in the State of Iowa; - - It was in the railroad deepô of that greatly-favoured zone, - That a young man met a stranger, who was still not all unknown, - For they had run-countered casual in riding in the car, - And the latter to the previous had offered a cigar. - - Now as the primal gentleman was nominated Gale, - It follows that the secondary man was Mr. Dale; - This is called poetic justice when arrangements fit in time, - And Fate allows the titles to accommodate in rhyme. - - And a lovely sense of autumn seemed to warble in the air; - Boys with baskets selling peaches were vibratin’ everywhere, - While in the mellow distance folks were gettin’ in their corn, - And the biggest yellow punkins ever seen since you were born. - - Now a gradual sensation emotioned this our Gale, - That he’d seldom seen so fine a man for cheek as Mr. Dale; - Yet simultaneous he felt that he was all the while - The biggest dude and cock-a-hoop within a hundred mile. - - For the usual expression of his quite enormous eyes - Was that of two ripe gooseberries who’ve been decreed a prize; - Like a goose apart from berries, too—though not removed from sauce— - He conversed on lovely Woman as if he were all her boss. - - Till, in fact, he stated plainly that, between his face and cash, - There was not a lady living whom he was not sure to mash; - The wealthiest, the loveliest, of families sublime, - At just a single look from him must all give in in time. - - Now when our Dale had got along so far upon the strain, - They saw a Dream of Loveliness descending from the train, - A proud and queenly beauty of a transcendental face, - With gloves unto her shoulders, and the most expensive lace. - - All Baltimore and New Orleans seemed centered into one, - As if their stars of beauty had been fused into a sun; - But, oh! her frosty dignity expressed a kind of glow - Like sunshine when thermometers show thirty grades below. - - But it flashed a gleam of shrewdness into the head of Gale, - And with aggravatin’ humour he exclaimed to Mr. Dale, - “Since every girl’s a cricket-ball and you’re the only bat, - If you want to show you’re champion, go in and mash on that. - - “I will bet a thousand dollars, and plank them on the rub, - That if you try it thither, you will catch a lofty snub. - I don’t mean but what a lady may reply to what you say, - But I bet you cannot win her into wedding in a day.” - - A singular emotion enveloped Mr. Dale; - One would say he seemed confuseled, for his countenance was pale: - At first there came an angry look, and when that look did get, - He larft a wild and hollow larf, and said, “I take the debt. - - “The brave deserve the lovely—every woman may be won; - What men have fixed before us may by other men be done. - You will lose your thousand dollars. For the first time in my life - I have gazed upon a woman whom I wish to make my wife.” - - Like a terrier at a rabbit, with his hat upon his eyes - Mr. Dale, the awful masher, went head-longing at the prize, - Looking rather like a party simply bent to break the peace, - Mr. Gale, with smiles, expected just a yell for the police. - - Oh! what are women made of? Oh! what can women be? - From Eves to Jersey Lilies what bewildering sights we see! - One listened on the instant to all the Serpent said; - The other paid attention right away to Floral Ned. - - With a blow as with a hammer the intruder broke the ice, - And the proud and queenly beauty seemed to think it awful nice. - Mr. Gale, as he beheld it, with a trembling heart began - To realise he really was a most astonished man. - - Shall I tell you how he wooed her? shall I tell you how he won? - How they had a hasty wedding ere the evening was done? - For when all things were considered, the fond couple thought it best— - Such things are not uncommon in the wild and rapid West. - - Dale obtained the thousand dollars, and then vanished with the dream. - Gale stayed in town with sorrow, like a spoon behind the cream; - Till one morning in the paper he read, though not in rhymes, - How a certain blooming couple had been married fifty times! - - How they wandered o’er the country; how the bridegroom used to bet - He would wed the girl that evening,—how he always pulled the debt; - How his eyes were large and greensome; how, in fact, to end the tale, - Their very latest victim was a fine young man named Gale. - - - - - ARIZONA JOHN - - - When in a situation it always pays the best - To have your wits about you, for it helps the interest; - And a man gets so encouraged by succeedin’ when he tries, - That the more you crowd him downward, the more he’s bound to rise. - - As when near Tres Alamos, while workin’ at his mine, - John Lyons, late of Tombstone, without the least design - To involve himself whatever in any kind of tricks, - Got inside an unprovided and a most unpleasant fix. - - John Lyons, late of Tombstone, had but just put in a blast, - When he saw four buck Apaches approximatin’ fast - Upon their headlong horses in a rackaloose career, - And every one preceded by a long projectin’ spear: - - He had planted all the powder, and was just atop the shaft, - While the foemen kept a-comin’ like as they was telegrapht. - To run was to be taken, and to stay was to be slew— - And in such a situation how-whatever could he do? - - Bein’ quick upon the trigger Lyons did not stop to choose, - For a match was in his fingers, so he lighted up the fuse, - And dropped behind a boulder for to disabuse their aim, - When at him like a sheriff’s writ full dig the Injuns came. - - He had timed the fuse so nicely that the ’Paches reached the rock - Exactly at the nick of the explosionary shock: - Bang! How the big rock busted as the powder gave a flare! - While a rain of stones and gravel went a-thunderin’ through the air. - - It was four red Apaches who also had a rise, - And started for the hunting-grounds on horseback thro’ the skies; - Or as if they had the notion, but recalled it there and then, - For they speedily descended as four non-existent men. - - John Lyons, late of Tombstone, just down behind his rock, - Escaped the influential effect of such a shock, - And examinin’ the prospect, he very plainly sees - He has worked the blast quite perfect—likewise slammed his enemies. - - When narratin’ the adventure which I’ve chanted in my song, - If he terms them “blasted Injuns” no one calls his language strong— - For their hopes were surely blasted which they fondly reckoned on, - And with patent giant-powder by this Arizona John. - - - - - THE BALLAD OF CHARITY - - - It was in a pleasant deepô, sequestered from the rain, - That many weary passengers were waitin’ for the train; - Piles of quite expensive baggage, many a gorgeous portmantó, - Ivory-handled umberellas made a most touristic show. - - Whereunto there came a person, very humble was his mien, - Who took an observation of the interestin’ scene; - Closely scanned the umberellas, watched with joy the mighty trunks, - And observed that all the people were securin’ Pullman bunks: - - Who was followed shortly after by a most unhappy tramp, - Upon whose features poverty had jounced her iron stamp; - And to make a clear impression as bees sting you while they buzz, - She had hit him rather harder than she generally does. - - For he was so awful ragged, and in parts so awful bare, - That the folks were quite repulsioned to behold him begging there; - And instead of drawing currency from out their pocket-books, - They drew themselves asunder with aversionary looks. - - Sternly gazed the first newcomer on the unindulgent crowd, - Then in tones which pierced the deepô he solilicussed aloud:— - “I hev trevelled o’er this cont’nent from Quebec to Bogotáw, - But setch a set of scallawags as these I never saw. - - “Ye are wealthy, ye are gifted, ye have house and lands and rent, - Yet unto a suff’rin’ mortal ye will not donate a cent; - Ye expend your missionaries to the heathen and the Jew, - But there isn’t any heathen that is half as small as you. - - “Ye are lucky—ye hev cheque-books and deeposits in the bank, - And ye squanderate your money on the titled folks of rank; - The onyx and the sardonyx upon your garments shine, - An’ ye drink at every dinner p’r’aps a dollar’s wuth of wine. - - “Ye are goin’ for the summer to the islands by the sea, - Where it costs four dollars daily—setch is not for setch as me; - Iv’ry-handled umberellers do not come into my plan, - But I kin give a dollar to this suff’rin’ fellow-man. - - “Hand-bags made of Rooshy leather are not truly at my call, - Yet in the eyes of Mussy I am richer ’en you all, - For I kin give a dollar wher’ you dare not stand a dime, - And never miss it nother, nor regret it any time.” - - Sayin’ this he drew a wallet from the inner of his vest, - And gave the tramp a daddy, which it was his level best; - Other people havin’ heard him soon to charity inclined— - One giver soon makes twenty if you only get their wind. - - The first who gave the dollar led the other one about, - And at every contribution he a-raised a joyful shout, - Exclaimin’ how ’twas noble to relieviate distress, - And remarkin’ that our duty is our present happiness. - - Thirty dollars altogether were collected by the tramp, - When he bid ’em all good evenin’ and went out into the damp, - And was followed briefly after by the one who made the speech, - And who showed by good example how to practise as to preach. - - Which soon around the corner the couple quickly met, - And the tramp produced the specie for to liquidate his debt; - And the man who did the preachin’ took his twenty of the sum, - Which you see that out of thirty left a tenner for the bum. - - And the couple passed the summer at Bar Harbour with the rest, - Greatly changed in their appearance and most elegantly dressed. - Any fowl with change of feathers may a brilliant bird become: - Oh, how hard is life for many! oh, how sweet it is for some! - - - - - MULTUM IN PARVO - - - “Great thoughts are oft expressed in fewest words,” - And I remember how long years ago, - When a great lady in her diary - Of a short visit to the Scottish land, - Recorded of a sorrowful event, - “To-day poor little Vicky, by mischance, - Sat on a wasps’ nest.” All the newspapers - Declared it was a perfect masterpiece - Of excellent conciseness. Yet I think - It was outdone by a Red Indian— - One of the Quoddy tribe—who did the same; - Since he, like “little Vicky,” also sat - Upon a seat as hot; and when he rose, - Briefly exclaimed in his vernacular:— - “_H’lam-kikqu’!_” and being asked what this - Might mean, responded in the English tongue: - “_Heap hell!_” O reader! if the soul of wit - Be brevity, this Indian was there. - - - - - THE ORGANIST OF BERGAMO - - - “For blowing is not playing on the flute, - To do that well you must put fingers to’t.” - - GERMAN PROVERB. - - This is a Merry Tale of Bergamo. - - It chanced in Fifteen Hundred Twenty-Eight - [As I do find the fact recorded in - A pleasing book of Sixteen Thirty-Six - Entitled _Scelta di Facetie_— - A little yellow, quaint, italic tome, - Which looks as if it were behind the age, - And would have been black letter if it could] - That in fair Venice raged a pestilence - Whereof in time full many people died, - And among these a trusty servitor - Who blew the bellows for the organist - All in the great Cathedral of Saint Mark, - Whose billowy pavement truly seems to roll - In time and measure with the music sweet, - So perfect were the harmonies of Art - Which men imagined in the olden time. - - Now as this man had died while at his work, - Even while blowing a _Magnificat_ - All in the holy church, it was adjudged - That he almost deserved to be a saint. - And he who preached the sermon over him - Said that “his soul had risen on the notes - Of the grand anthem which he had inspired, - And having reached the Music all divine - Had softly sunk, as light is lost in light, - Into the pure Celestial.” Here he stopped. - Men were great preachers in the olden time. - - It happened that a certain Giannolo, - _Facchino Bergamasco_, or a man - From Bergamo, a porter by his trade, - Who carried heavy burdens, yet withal - Was not o’erburdened with a load of wit, - Hearing this sermon, got it in his head— - And no great wonder either—that the late - Departed bellows-blower must have been - The Chief Musician of the Holy House; - And knowing that the man who bloweth up - A pair of bagpipes also is the one - Who plays upon the same—drew inference - That the deceased was the true organist, - And he who played thereon his humble aid, - Who only worked to keep the tune in time. - - Now being smitten with a deep desire - To rise in life and also to be called - A Child of Art—with a nice salary— - And have a sermon preached o’er him when dead, - Giannolo unto the Bishop went, - And made a great entreaty to be placed - Among the holy followers of Saint Mark, - And that the aim of his ambition was - _Alzare i mantici quando suonava_ - _gli organi_—that’s to say: - “To lift the bellows when the organ played.” - And as he was a stout and lusty knave - Who might be useful in a hundred ways, - They gladly took him on, so there he stayed - Blowing the bellows faithfully in time. - - I ween there is not in all Italy - A man—unless he came from Bergamo— - Who could have blown an organ seven years - In the full faith that he was playing it, - And was indeed the real organist. - Yet this, in fact, unless the legend lies, - Was what befell Giannolo. By this time, - Having laid by a very handsome sum, - And being well attired though modestly, - As is becoming to a Son of Art, - He went a-visiting his native place, - Where all who were related unto him— - That is to say about one-half the town— - Did greatly marvel at his handsome clothes - And at his air of stately dignity, - But most of all when he informed them that - He was no more a porter: he had felt - Immortal longings in him to arise - Above that vulgar calling, and to soar - “’Mid palpitations sweet and pleasures soft, - The manifestations of that beauteous life - Diffused unseen throughout eternal Space” - Which men call Music; and that he had risen - Even to a monthly salary of ten francs, - Wherewith were many pleasing perquisites; - And that he played the organ in Saint Mark’s, - As all the world allowed, in perfect time. - - Up rose a buzz of strangest wonderment, - Or, as ’tis writ, _Di che restarono_ - _Più maravigliati_; for they all - Were much amazed that such a common man— - _Si vile e si rozzo_—such a boor— - Had risen to the pinnacle of Art - In Venice, where all Art was at its height, - And gained the crown of glory—_Iddio_! - “Ten francs a month besides the perquisites!” - They bowed before him with deep reverence, - Hoping he’d stay with them a little time. - - Then some one spoke with hesitating tone, - As if in fear to take a liberty, - And said: “Your Excellence—if we might dare— - Since we would celebrate the kind return - Of such an Honour to our noble town, - Would you not grace the occasion, and increase - Our joy and sense of deep respectfulness, - By playing Vespers for us in the Dome - On Sunday next?” Giannolo bowed low, - And in a speech adorned with many flowers, - Which he had culled from sermons in Saint Mark, - Acceded gracefully to their request, - And said he would be there to play, in time. - When Sunday came there came with it a crowd - Such as Bergamo never saw before, - For in her streets and past her palaces - Thousands in holiday attire swept on, - And even afar there was a thundering roar, - From time to time, which rolled from square to square, - As when the incoming ocean, with a tide - Urged by a tempest, breaks among the rocks. - Yea, there were many—_tanto popolo_— - All that the church would hold, and then outside - A vast, impatient, brilliant multitude, - Such as had ne’er been there at any time. - - And at the appointed hour Giannolo came, - Rising before the people in his state, - Waiting awhile the appearance of the man - Who was to play the organ while he—blew! - And all the congregation waited too, - All staring steadily at the great man - In anxious expectation, till at last - Giannolo from the pulpit cried aloud: - “Where is the man who is to touch the keys? - What is the use of making music, hey— - And filling up the thing with melody, - As I have come to do, unless there be - Some one to click the bones and let it out? - You don’t suppose that I can raise the wind, - And steer, and sail the ship as well, my friends. - Such things were ne’er beheld at any time.” - - There was an instant’s silence—deep and strange; - In all the great cathedral rang no sound. - All stared at one another open-eyed, - Or at Giannolo—just as if some power - Before unknown in life had seized on them - With a tremendous sense of dire amaze, - Not knowing what the devil it could mean; - When all at once they _took_—and from them all - There rose a roar of laughter like a crash - Of thunder, and so near it that one seemed - To miss the lightning—or, as I might say, - ’Twas like a flash of sound—and then again - It came re-echoed from the multitude - Gathered outside, as the electric peal - Resounds, repeated by the mountain tops. - Yea, such a peal of laughter as the book - Declares “at vespers ne’er was heard before,” - And ne’er again will be at any time. - - * * * * * - - _Moral._ I pray you think upon it well. - There are full many people in this world - Who think that they are wondrous wise in ART, - And who, as Critics, write about the same - In transcendental phrase with capitals, - And call it Faith, and Love, and Heaven knows what, - And cannot think of it without a gasp - And uttering phrases silly, mystical,— - Because they are the empty, windy ones, - Inflating and inflated, who but blow - The bellows of the organ, yet believe - That they are leaders in the Realm of Art! - - - - - THE GOTH AND THE PIGEON - - - Among the merry tales of olden time - Which are still current in fair Italy - Are many told in taverns or in type - About the rude barbarians of the North - Who cross the Alps, even as they did of yore, - When they invaded fertile Lombardy, - And helped themselves to all which pleased their eyes, - And paid for it in iron and with blood: - Those times are fled, but Northmen still are here; - States fall, arts fade, but English yet abound, - And Austrian-Germans and Americans - Stalk proudly through the streets with Baedeker, - Or Murray, with the very gait and air - Of their barbarian ancestors—although - They are cleaner washed and more completely shaved— - Bet high upon the latter; for as once - They came to rob the natives of their goods, - The latter now do live by spoiling them. - And thus strange things do happen in this world. - - Thus we may note that all these foreigners, - Be it the daintiest English dame alive, - Or damsel born in fair America, - Or Russians of a royal family, - Or Frenchmen of the very noblest stock, - Or Viennese as elegant and _fesch_[12] - As even Viennese can be produced— - Wherein they wellnigh rival Baltimore— - Are still regarded by the Italian with - A doubtful smile, who as he smiles exclaims: - “_Sono forestieri_”—which indeed - Means “They are foreigners”—and yet the word - Comes from _Foresto_—savage—desert—wild— - And so do ancient thorns live round the rose. - And thus strange things do happen in the world. - - Now it befell that in the Lombard time - When Dieterich-Theodoric was king, - And from Ravenna ruled all Italy, - The court religion was the Arian, - To which men nowadays an Unit add, - Yet do not add by the process—that I see— - Aught to its value; but the odd result - Was that the Gothic warriors nothing knew - About the mystery of the Trinity,— - Nay, they were even far more ignorant - Than was the English curate, who when asked - What he did understand by the Holy Ghost, - Replied: “I am not sure, but I believe - It is a kind of pigeon.” These poor Goths - Had never learned so much as this youth knew. - And thus strange things do happen in the world. - - Now it befell that once a Visigoth - Stately, while all unconscious of his state, - And proud while nothing thinking of his pride, - Went stalking onwards through the streets of Rome, - Unheeding all the casual passers-by - Who turned to look at him—as a grave bull - Might walk through many sheep—or as my lord - Guy de Plantagenet just now walked by - Before my window, where I writing sit, - In Florence—true he came _bien à propos_. - And thus strange things do happen in this world. - - Well then, this fierce barbarian from the North, - Who as I said was densely ignorant - Of Trinitarian theology, - Was not much further in the Italian tongue, - Seeing that that which he essayed to speak - Was of the _pidgin_ kind,—oh, marvel strange! - Oh, wondrous miracle!—lo, how the Muse - Brings up that word to keep me to my tale! - Ah! what strange things do happen in this world! - - Now as he strode along the Roman street, - With thoughts of dinner flitting through his soul, - Lifting his eyes he saw upon a sign - The picture of a dove with outspread wings - Above the door of a _trattoria_, - Which means a place where you can treat yourself - To what you want—that is, a restaurant. - And ’neath the bird he read inscribed in gold: - _Spirito Santo_; and he gazed at it, - And took an object-lesson, and exclaimed: - “So _that_ is the Italian for a dove! - I must remember it.” So in he went - Repeating ever to himself the words - “_Spirito Santo! Santo Spirito!_” - Those who o’erheard him deemed him a devout - And fervid follower of the Trinity. - And thus strange things do happen in the world. - - And having sat him down, the waiter came - And asked His Excellence what he would have; - To which his Gothic Excellence replied: - “I want a bottle of your noblest wine, - With it a soup of highest quality, - And after that a roast San’ Spirito!” - “A roasted—WHAT? Signore,” cried the man, - As one who had not rightly understood, - While all the guests around did glare amazed. - “I said,” resumed the Northern warrior, - “A _Spirito Santo_, such as you have got - Upon your sign outside—a _bird_, you know, - That moves its wings like this”—and here he moved - His bended arms like wings, both up and down, - While with his voice he murmured _Coo-oo-oo!_ - Or what is called in French a _roucoulement_, - Or _girren_ in the German. Hearing this, - All who were present promptly understood; - And though they all were naturally polite, - And never laughed at any foreigner - Before his face, because he erred in words, - This was too—too—too much, and all burst out - In a tremendous—an Homeric roar. - They drew the line at pigeons; and the Goth - When ’twas explained laughed loudest of them all; - And thus it was he learned another word. - And thus strange things do happen in the world. - ------ - -[12] A very peculiar Viennese slang word, signifying stylish or elegant. -It is supposed to be an abbreviation of the mispronunciation of the -English word fashionable—_Germanicé_, _feshionable_. - - - - - REFLECTIONS IN A PRINTING-OFFICE - - - Faust means a fist—a fist can hit, I ween: - Faust made the greatest hit that e’er was seen. - - I know not if ’twas Guttenberg - Or Faust who first began - To print—the honour was too great - For any single man. - - Printing is called the Art of Arts, - And typos then are artists—right— - They are the nobler counterparts - Of those who work in Black and White. - - - - - APPENDIX - - - ORBUS IN TACTU MAINET.—P. 2 - -THERE were in Philadelphia, forty years ago, two sailors’ groggeries in -Water Street, both having the sign of The Boy and Barrel, derived from -the infant Bacchus. One of these had for motto the words exactly as here -misspelt and divided. - - TIME FOR US TO GO.—P. 64 - -In one of his admirable papers, “At the Sign of the Ship,” published in -the _Cornhill Magazine_, Mr. Andrew Lang, in discussing Sea Songs, wrote -the following:— - -“In an unpublished play by Mr. Henley and Mr. R. L. Stevenson, a play -called _Admiral Guinea_, that veteran ruffian, Mr. Pew of Treasure -Island, makes his appearance. He has been a sailor of Admiral Guinea’s -in the slave trade, and he haunts the evangelical and remorseful Admiral -like an evil conscience, singing snatches of the following ‘Slaver’s -Song.’ Mr. Henley has kindly copied out the whole piece, which was -published in Mr. Leland’s ‘Captain Jonas Fisher’ in _Temple Bar_ about -fourteen years ago. Whether the ballad is traditional and collected by -Mr. Leland, or whether to himself is due the great credit of the -authorship, I am not aware.” - -Truly I am not the author of the song which I picked up in Philadelphia -before the War, nor do I know who wrote it. I am tolerably certain, -however, that I, having slightly retouched it, republished it in _Temple -Bar_ as quoted. There are, however, others besides Mr. Lang who think I -wrote it, so I give it here in order to make truth known, but chiefly -because it is in keeping with other specimens of sailors’ lyrical -folk-lore in these pages, and will be acceptable to all who like such -ballads. - - SAMUEL JACKSON.—P. 99 - -“And of the heathen natives with their suppositious wiles.” - -I once crossed the Atlantic in a sailing-vessel, sharing my state-room -with a veteran sea-captain who had been for forty years in the whaling -service. He had an inexhaustible stock of sea-folk-lore, which he freely -imparted to me who was an eager listener, and as the voyage lasted -_thirty-five_ days I had opportunity to gather much. I am indebted to -him for this amusing interchange of words. When telling me that he once -went incognito to revisit his old home in Connecticut he said, “I passed -under a superstitious name.” - - THE END - _Printed by_ R. & R. CLARK, _Edinburgh_ - - - - - N E W N O V E L S. - _At all the Libraries._ - - - JOHN DARKER By AUBREY LEE. - A ROMANCE OF DIJON By M. BETHAM-EDWARDS. - POSTE RESTANTE By C. Y. HARGREAVES. - MARGARET DRUMMOND By SOPHIE F. F. VEITCH. - PAUL ROMER By C. Y. HARGREAVES. - MY INDIAN SUMMER By Princess ALTIERI. - THE CURB OF HONOUR By M. BETHAM-EDWARDS. - BORN IN EXILE By GEORGE GISSING. - THE GREAT CHIN EPISODE By PAUL CUSHING. - THE LAST TOUCHES By Mrs. W. K. CLIFFORD. - A TANGLED WEB By Lady LINDSAY. - THE PHILOSOPHER’S WINDOW By Lady LINDSAY. - CAP AND GOWN COMEDY By ASCOTT R. HOPE. - UNDER TWO SKIES By E. W. HORNUNG. - - - - ADAM AND CHARLES BLACK, - SOHO SQUARE, LONDON. - - - - - THE - - POETICAL - - WORKS - - OF - - SIR WALTER SCOTT, Bart. - - Selected and Edited, with Introduction and Notes, - - BY - - ANDREW LANG - - In 2 vols., Crown 8vo, Price 5s. in Cloth; or 6s. Half-Bound - - Uniform with the Dryburgh Edition of the - Waverley Novels - - - ADAM AND CHARLES BLACK, - SOHO SQUARE, LONDON. - - - - - TRANSCRIBER NOTES - - -Misspelled words and printer errors have been corrected. - -Inconsistencies in punctuation have been maintained. - -[The end of _Songs of the Sea and Lays of the Land_, by Charles Godfrey -Leland.] - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Songs of the Sea and Lays of the Land, by -Charles Godfrey Leland - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SONGS OF THE SEA, LAYS OF THE LAND *** - -***** This file should be named 50666-0.txt or 50666-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/0/6/6/50666/ - -Produced by Larry Harrison, Cindy Beyer, Ross Cooling and -the online Distributed Proofreaders Canada team at -http://www.pgdpcanada.net with images provided by The -Internet Archives-US - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Songs of the Sea and Lays of the Land - -Author: Charles Godfrey Leland - -Release Date: December 11, 2015 [EBook #50666] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SONGS OF THE SEA, LAYS OF THE LAND *** - - - - -Produced by Larry Harrison, Cindy Beyer, Ross Cooling and -the online Project Gutenberg team at -http://www.pgdpcanada.net with images provided by The -Internet Archives-US - - - - - - -</pre> - -<div class='figcenter'> -<img src='images/cover.jpg' alt='' id='iid-0000' style='width:350px;height:auto;'/> -</div> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<div class='lgc' style=''> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0' style='margin-top:8em;font-size:1.2em;'><span class='gesp'>SONGS OF THE SEA</span></p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line0' style='font-size:.8em;'>AND</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line0' style='margin-bottom:8em;font-size:1.2em;'><span class='gesp'>LAYS OF THE LAND</span></p> -</div> <!-- end rend --> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<div class='lgc' style=''> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0' style='margin-top:1em;font-size:2em;'>SONGS OF THE SEA</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line0' style='font-size:.8em;'>AND</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line0' style='font-size:2em;'>LAYS OF THE LAND</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line0' style='font-size:.6em;'>BY</p> -<p class='line0' style='margin-top:.5em;margin-bottom:4em;font-size:1em;'>CHARLES GODFREY LELAND</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line0' style='font-size:.9em;'>LONDON</p> -<p class='line0' style='margin-top:.5em;margin-bottom:.5em;'>ADAM AND CHARLES BLACK</p> -<p class='line0' style='font-size:.9em;'>1895</p> -</div> <!-- end rend --> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='v' id='Page_v'></span></p> - -<p class='line0' style='text-align:center;margin-top:4em;margin-bottom:2em;font-size:1.2em;'>PREFACE</p> - -<p class='noindent'>Among the songs in this collection are the Brand New Ballads already -known more or less to the public, several of them having an American -newspaper circulation, while a few are given at times in public readings; -since I have learned, for example, that “In Nevada” was one of the -stock-pieces of Mr. Clifford Harrison. They now reappear amended -and with additions.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>In the “Songs of the Sea” the reader will not fail to observe that -three or four, such as the “Mermaid” and “Time for Us to Go,” are -not by me at all. They are sailors’ songs of the olden time, introduced -as suggestions for other lyrics, as I have indeed declared in the -text, and also to aid in the main purpose or idea which inspires the -whole collection—they being in this respect like stones from more -ancient edifices built into new houses, as was the wont of men in -the middle age.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>This main purpose was to set forth with scrupulous care, as of a -statue photographed from many sides, the mariner of the sailing—not -steaming—ship, who is now rapidly passing away, although some tens -of thousands of the species are still to be found in the remoter routes -<span class='pageno' title='vi' id='Page_vi'></span> -of travel. This kind of man should be interesting, because he is almost -the only one who is drawn into his calling by a desire to rove about the -world and lead an adventurous, reckless, manly life. Into this life -entered, I may say, as “vitalising elements,” “shipwrecks and disasters -of the sea,” the extremes of discipline and dissipation, as well as those -of cynical scepticism and superstition, the seeing, like Ulysses, cities -and men, and the consciousness, so clear to undeveloped minds and -smaller natures, of belonging to a “peculiar” class. This I have -borne in mind most earnestly, and those who perceive it will also find -that in this spirit the following notes and sketches in song illustrate, I -trust accurately, a consistent ideal text, and that all the songs unite to -form a single poem.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>As for the many scraps, “chanties,” choruses, sayings, similes, -and bits of sea-lore worked up into the lyrics here and there, I make -no attempt whatever to indicate what is borrowed; all that I can say of -it is, that if the mere gathering the stones is all the merit of making a -mosaic picture (as many seem to think), then I could claim little merit -for originality. But as this is not a folk-lore book, in which a writer is -held sternly accountable “to give authority for every word,” and as a -mass of notes would have simply defeated the whole aim of the book, I -have preferred making myself amenable to the charge of plagiarism to -boring my reader—even as an Italian devoted servant of whom I once -heard, preferred to be carried off by the police, on the charge of stealing -oranges, rather than awaken and disturb his master who could have -explained the matter. I can, however, truly say that as regards ideas, -<span class='pageno' title='vii' id='Page_vii'></span> -incidents, tales, turns of speech and idioms, current sayings, and so on, -from poetry down to vulgarity, I have literally taken so much from -sailors themselves that the work, if analysed, would be a curiosity of -collocation, like the poems made up entirely of proverbs, or the Sermon -of Texts.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Here I would mention my obligation to more than one ancient -mariner, and specially to my old friend, Captain Stead, now so long a -dweller at the Langham Hotel, for advising about, and revising, these -ballads. These friends having carefully studied the work and corrected -or modelled its every sentence into ship-shape, have been kind -enough to assure me that it would hold its own in the forecastle, as a -real thing, and not an imitation; which saying uttered in sooth and -truth especially by a friend of forty years’ experience in sailing-vessels, -mostly “before the war,” was to me greatly encouraging.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>What I have above written of the “Songs of the Sea” is equally -true of the other ballads in this volume. They also form a series -of eccentric pictures of American life after the war, brought together, -not like chance pictures in a scrap-book, but as I before said, to carry -out one idea in reference to a special subject. In this spirit and to -this end were they written, from current prose tales. Nor have I ever -forgotten that there is in them for the future a kind of folk-lore which -is never so apparent to those who live in it as to those who inherit it. -When I was a small boy, there was in my aunt’s kitchen in Milford, -Massachusetts, a cheese-knife, which had no special interest to anybody -save to me, because it had been the very sword carried by General -<span class='pageno' title='viii' id='Page_viii'></span> -Eaton in his famous march over the Desert to attack Algiers. Nowadays -it would be greatly prized. So it is sometimes worth while to -think of these things which we now possess, and how rapidly they are -hastening to become curiosities—I myself having lived to see every -object familiar to me in youth become bric-à-brac. In the last age, -everything not in the newest fashion was despised—in this there is a -highly-cultured class just beginning to show itself beyond the Realists -and disciples of Mental-analytical Chemistry, who look alternately at -the Past and Future,</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style=''><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:.9em;' --> -<p class='line0' style='font-size:.9em;'>Even as Janus on the Capitol</p> -<p class='line0' style='font-size:.9em;'>Saw all that was or ever yet would be.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>There may be a few among the jealous guardians or spokes around -the Hub who may demand by what right I invade the sacred precincts -of Boston, and sing about its past. Well, my boyhood was half passed -in Boston or near it; there the romance of sailor life, which was marvellous -in those times, imbued me, and then and there in common with -my mates I devoured the <span class='it'>Mariners’ Chronicle</span>, <span class='it'>Shipwrecks and Disasters -of the Sea</span>, <span class='it'>Lives of the Buccaneers</span>, and listened with avidity to the tales -of those who had been on the briny deep. Nearly all my first-cousins -had at one time or other run away and gone to sea or taken long -voyages. Among the former were Benjamin Stimson, the “S” of <span class='it'>Two -Years Before the Mast</span>; Charles Leland, who afterwards grew like -Samuel Jackson to the height of seven feet; and Samuel Godfrey. -From these and many more I learned an incredible number of sea -<span class='pageno' title='ix' id='Page_ix'></span> -stories and songs, none of which I ever forgot, being to an extraordinary -degree accustomed to keep repeating to myself these “stranger -legends of the olden time.” Hence it comes that I have in my mind -such vivid memories of the old North End of Boston.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I would say in conclusion what will be apparent enough to many, -that these Ballads make no great pretence to be poetry. They consist -of incidents or small “motives” cast into rhyme or measure, as the -easiest method of giving them a certain value, just as a tune brings out -a song. Most rhymers are criticised more or less severely for pretending -to be poets; all that I can claim for this volume is, that it is a kind -of collection of curiosities which, as they have seemed to me to be -worth remembering, will, I trust, be regarded by others as worth reading.</p> - -<p class='line0' style='text-align:right;margin-right:1em;margin-top:1em;margin-bottom:1em;'><span class='sc'>Charles Godfrey Leland.</span></p> - -<p class='line0' style='text-align:left;margin-left:1em;font-size:.8em;'><span class='sc'>Florence, 1894.</span></p> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='x' id='Page_x'></span><h1>CONTENTS</h1></div> - -<p class='line0' style='text-align:center;margin-top:2em;margin-bottom:2em;'>SONGS OF THE SEA</p> - -<table id='tab1' summary='' class='center'> -<colgroup> -<col span='1' style='width: 20em;'/> -<col span='1' style='width: 2em;'/> -</colgroup> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><span style='font-size:x-small'>PAGE</span></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Old Tavern</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_1'>1</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>El Capitan General</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_5'>5</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Uncle Sam</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_9'>9</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Mother Carey</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_13'>13</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Bird Crew</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_17'>17</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Davy Jones</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_19'>19</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Devil’s Pot</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_21'>21</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>One, Two, Three</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_24'>24</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>La Bella Strega</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_27'>27</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Beautiful Witch</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_31'>31</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Witch’s Box</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_35'>35</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Mermaid</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_41'>41</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Merman</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_43'>43</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Wizard Finn</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_51'>51</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Charley Buff</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_55'>55</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Bold Robin Rover</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_59'>59</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Time for Us to Go</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_64'>64</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Rolling Over</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_67'>67</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Musquito</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_71'>71</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Stand from Under!</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_73'>73</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Near Havanna</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_77'>77</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Three Dead Men</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_80'>80</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Lady-Sailor</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_82'>82</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Spanish Sailor’s Song</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_84'>84</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Lover to the Sailor</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_86'>86</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Green Corn and Potatoes</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_87'>87</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Sailor’s Farewell</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_90'>90</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Mackerel Signs</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_94'>94</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>True Blue</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_96'>96</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Story of Samuel Jackson</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_99'>99</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Dandy Ship</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_104'>104</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Jack of all Trades</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_107'>107</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Girl Wind</span></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_110'>110</a></td></tr> -</table> - -<p class='line0' style='text-align:center;margin-top:2em;margin-bottom:2em;'>LAYS OF THE LAND</p> - -<table id='tab2' summary='' class='center'> -<colgroup> -<col span='1' style='width: 20em;'/> -<col span='1' style='width: 2em;'/> -</colgroup> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Rise and Fall of Gloryville</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_115'>115</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>In the Wrong Box</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_123'>123</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Zion Jersey Boggs</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_130'>130</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Ballad of the Green Old Man</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_142'>142</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Carrying Coals</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_148'>148</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Carey, of Carson</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_150'>150</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Josephi in Benicia</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_156'>156</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Story of a Lie</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_161'>161</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Legend of Saint Anthony</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_164'>164</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>A Russian Lyric</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_169'>169</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Melodramnation</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_173'>173</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>A Tale of Idaho</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_177'>177</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>A Californian Romance</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_182'>182</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Story of Mr. Scroper, Architect</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_187'>187</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>That Interestin’ Boy</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_190'>190</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Miss Miles, the Telegraph Girl</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_191'>191</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>An American Cock-Tale</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_198'>198</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Judge Wyman</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_207'>207</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>In Nevada</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_213'>213</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Philanthropic Club</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_223'>223</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Coloured Fortune-Hunter</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_227'>227</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Penn</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_228'>228</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Ballad of the Foxes</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_232'>232</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Est Modus in Rebus</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_237'>237</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Masher</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_243'>243</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Arizona John</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_249'>249</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Ballad of Charity</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_252'>252</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Multum in Parvo</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_256'>256</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Organist of Bergamo</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_258'>258</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>The Goth and the Pigeon</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_268'>268</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'><span class='sc'>Reflections in a Printing-Office</span></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_275'>275</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'></td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'> </td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab2c1 tdStyle0'>APPENDIX</td><td class='tab2c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#Page_277'>277</a></td></tr> -</table> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='xiii' id='Page_xiii'></span></p> - -<p class='line0' style='text-align:center;margin-top:10em;margin-bottom:10em;font-size:1.2em;'><span class='gesp'>SONGS OF THE SEA</span></p> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='xiv' id='Page_xiv'></span></p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:10em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:.9em;' --> -<p class='line0' style='font-size:.9em;'>I <span class='sc'>saw</span> three sailors synging, hey howe!</p> -<p class='line0' style='font-size:.9em;'>  Upon yon lea-land hey!</p> -<p class='line0' style='font-size:.9em;'>I hearde three mariners rynging, rumbelowe:</p> -<p class='line0' style='font-size:.9em;'>  Upon yon sea strand gaye.</p> -<p class='line0' style='font-size:.9em;'>    Synge hey howe, rumbelowe,</p> -<p class='line0' style='font-size:.9em;'>    Row the boat, Norman, rowe!</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line0' style='text-align:right;margin-right:0em;margin-bottom:5em;font-size:.9em;'><span class='it'>Percy’s Relics.</span></p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='1' id='Page_1'></span><h1>THE OLD TAVERN</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>In the North End of Boston, long ago;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Although ’tis yet within my memory;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>There were of gabled houses many a row,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>With overhanging storeys two or three,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And many with half-doors over whose end</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Leaning upon her elbows, the good-wife</p> -<p class='dramaline'>At eventide conversed with many a friend</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of all the little chances of their life;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Small ripples in a stream which ran full slow</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In the North End of Boston, long ago.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And ’mid these houses was a Hostelrie</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Frequented by the people of the sea,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Known as the Boy and Barrel, from its sign:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A jolly urchin on a cask of wine</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='2' id='Page_2'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Bearing the words which puzzled every eye—</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='it'>Orbus In Tactu Mainet</span><a id='r1'/><a href='#f1' style='text-decoration:none'><sup><span style='font-size:0.9em'>[1]</span></sup></a> Heaven knows why.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Even there a bit of Latin made a show,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In the North End of Boston—long ago.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And many a sailor, when his cruise was o’er,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Bore straight for it soon as he touched the shore:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In many a stormy night upon the sea</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He’d thought upon the Boy—and of the spree</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He’d have when there, and let all trouble go,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In the North End of Boston, long ago.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>There, like their vessels in a friendly port,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Met many mariners of every kind,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Spinning strange yarns of many a varied sort,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Well sheltered from the ocean and the wind;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In a long low dark room they lounged at ease;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Strange men there were from many a distant land,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And there above the high old chimney-piece</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='3' id='Page_3'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Were curiosities from many a strand,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which often made strange tales and memories flow</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In the North End of Boston, long ago.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And there I often sat to hear those tales,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>From men who’d passed through storm and fight and fire,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of mighty icebergs and stupendous whales,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of shipwrecked crews and of adventures dire,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Until the thought came to me on a time,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>While I was listening to that merry throng,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That I would write their stories out in rhyme,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And weave into it many a sailor’s song,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That men might something of the legends know</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of the North End of Boston, long ago.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>First it was said that Captain Kidd in truth</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Had revelled in that tavern with his crew,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And there it was he lost the Golden Tooth</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which brought him treasure, and the gossips knew</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Moll Pitcher dwelt there in the days of yore,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='4' id='Page_4'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>And Peter Rugg had stopped before the door:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Tom Walker there did with the Devil go</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In the North End of Boston, long ago.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Nor had I long to wait, for at the word</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Some one observed that he had seen in Spain</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A captain hung—which Abner Chapin heard</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And said, “I too upon the Spanish Main</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Met with a man well known unto us all,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who nearly hung a Captain General.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He told the tale and I did rhyme it so;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In the North End of Boston, long ago.</p> - -<hr class='footnotemark'/> - -<div class='footnote'> -<table summary='footnote_1'> -<colgroup> -<col span='1' style='width: 3em;'/> -<col span='1'/> -</colgroup> -<tr><td style='vertical-align:top;'> -<div id='f1'><a href='#r1'>[1]</a></div> -</td><td> - -<p class='line0'><a href='#a2'>See Appendix.</a></p> - -</td></tr> -</table> -</div> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='5' id='Page_5'></span><h1>EL CAPITAN GENERAL</h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>There was a Captain General who ruled in Vera Cruz,</p> -<p class='line0'>And what we used to hear of him was always evil news;</p> -<p class='line0'>He was a pirate on the sea—a robber on the shore:</p> -<p class='line0'>The Señor Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>There was a Yankee skipper who round about did roam,</p> -<p class='line0'>His name was Stephen Folger and Nantucket was his home,</p> -<p class='line0'>And having gone to Vera Cruz he had been skinned full sore</p> -<p class='line0'>By the Señor Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>But having got away alive, though all his cash was gone,</p> -<p class='line0'>He said, “If there is Vengeance, I will surely try it on!</p> -<p class='line0'>And I do wish I may be damned if I don’t clear the score</p> -<p class='line0'>With Señor Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador!”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='6' id='Page_6'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>He shipped a crew of seventy men—well-arméd men were they,</p> -<p class='line0'>And sixty of them in the hold he darkly stowed away,</p> -<p class='line0'>And sailing back to Vera Cruz was sighted from the shore,</p> -<p class='line0'>By the Señor Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>With twenty-five <span class='it'>soldados</span> he came on board so pleased</p> -<p class='line0'>And said: “<span class='it'>Maldito</span> Yankee—again your ship is seized.</p> -<p class='line0'>How many sailors have you got?” Said Folger, “Ten—no more,”</p> -<p class='line0'>To the Captain Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“But come into my cabin and take a glass of wine,</p> -<p class='line0'>I do suppose as usual, I’ll have to pay a fine;</p> -<p class='line0'>I have got some old Madeira and we’ll talk the matter o’er—</p> -<p class='line0'>My Capitan Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And as over that Madeira the Captain General boozed,</p> -<p class='line0'>It seemed to him as if his head was getting quite confused,</p> -<p class='line0'>For it happened that some morphine had travelled from “the store”</p> -<p class='line0'>To the glass of Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='7' id='Page_7'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“What is it makes the vessel roll? What sounds are these I hear?</p> -<p class='line0'>It seems as if the rising waves were beating on my ear!”</p> -<p class='line0'>“Oh it is the breaking of the surf—just that and nothing more,</p> -<p class='line0'>My Captain Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador!”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>The Governor was in a sleep which muddled all his brains,</p> -<p class='line0'>The seventy men had got his gang and put them all in chains,</p> -<p class='line0'>And when he woke the following day he could not see the shore,</p> -<p class='line0'>For he was out on the blue water—the Don San Salvador.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“Now do you see that yard-arm—and understand the thing?”</p> -<p class='line0'>Said Captain Folger, “For all from that yard-arm you shall swing,</p> -<p class='line0'>Or forty thousand dollars you must pay me from your store,</p> -<p class='line0'>My Captain Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>The Capitano took a pen—the order he did sign,</p> -<p class='line0'>“O Señor Yankee!—but you charge amazing high for wine!”</p> -<p class='line0'>But ’twas not till the draft was paid they let him go ashore,</p> -<p class='line0'>El Señor Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='8' id='Page_8'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>The greatest sharp some day will find another sharper wit,</p> -<p class='line0'>It always makes the devil laugh to see a biter bit;</p> -<p class='line0'>It takes two Spaniards any day to come a Yankee o’er:</p> -<p class='line0'>Even two like Don Alonzo Estabán San Salvador.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>    And when this tale was told, another man</p> -<p class='line0'>      Cried out, “I’ll swear ’tis true as true can be,</p> -<p class='line0'>    Unto his health we’ll have all round a can!</p> -<p class='line0'>      For Captain Folger is well known to me.</p> -<p class='line0'>    Now I will sing ‘first lines’ of ‘Uncle Sam,’</p> -<p class='line0'>      And he who can shall add at once a second,</p> -<p class='line0'>    I’ll call you one by one—now here I am,</p> -<p class='line0'>      And he who balks shall be the loser reckoned,</p> -<p class='line0'>    And pay for drinks all round”—</p> -<p class='line0'>                            “All right,” they roared,</p> -<p class='line0'>   “Now then begin, for we are all on board!”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='9' id='Page_9'></span><h1>UNCLE SAM</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When there’s rain and shine together,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                <span class='it'>Chorus.</span> Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Uncle Sam is in the weather:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                <span class='it'>Chorus.</span> Yo heave ho!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When the sun shines through a fog,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Uncle Samuel drinks his grog:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When the blue sky shows in pieces,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Those are Uncle Samuel’s breeches:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='10' id='Page_10'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When a cloud is low and flat,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         That is Uncle Samuel’s hat:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When the wind is loud and bad,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Then Old Sam is getting mad:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When the wind begins to bellow,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Uncle Sam is in the cellar:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When the sky is clean and red,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Uncle Sam is gone to bed:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='11' id='Page_11'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When you hear the wind a-roaring,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         That is Uncle Sam a-snoring:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When you see the lightning spooning,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Then old Uncle Sam’s harpooning:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When you hear the wind a-barking,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Uncle Sam has gone a-sharking:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When you see a santo-corpus,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Uncle Sam is arter a porpus:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='12' id='Page_12'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When the water gabbles too much,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Uncle Sam is talking Dutch:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When the sea hawk’s scream is heard,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         He wants to know if there’s Dutch on board:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When the wind’s before the rain,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Soon you can make sail again:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo heave ho!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Belay that song I say—’tis gettin’ weary:”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Cried out a voice, “Let’s change to Mother Carey!”</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='13' id='Page_13'></span><h1>MOTHER CAREY</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         With the wind old Mother Carey,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Churns the sea to make her dairy:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When you see a storm a-brewin’,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         That is Mother Carey’s doin’:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When you see Mother Carey’s chickens,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Then look out to catch the dickens!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='14' id='Page_14'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When you hear the icebergs rattle,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Those are Mother Carey’s cattle:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When you see them split—a-halving,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Then Mother Carey’s cows are calving:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When you see a flying fish,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Lose no time but make your wish:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         Irish pennons when they’re flying,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Set old Mother Carey crying:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='15' id='Page_15'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When the sea-gulls dip for slush,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Mother Carey stirs the mush:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When one sea-gull follows you,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Mother Carey soon makes it two:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When the sea-gulls fly by two,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Soon good luck will come to you:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When the sea-gulls fly by threes,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Soon you’ll have a spanking breeze:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='16' id='Page_16'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         If seven follow you into port,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         There the sailors’ll have good sport:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When a rope trails in the water,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         That is Mother Carey’s garter:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         When the clouds are red as roses,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Those are Mother Carey’s posies:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         If you want to win your Mary,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Throw out a biscuit to Mother Carey:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>                Yo ho oh!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And so they would have chantyd all night long,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But some one broke it with another song.</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='17' id='Page_17'></span><h1>THE BIRD CREW</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      The Albatross</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Is the captain and boss,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>            Haul away boys, haul away!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      The sea-gull queers</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Are the officeers,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>            Haul away boys, haul away!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And the Carey chickens as I guess</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Is every one an A.B.S.,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>            Haul away boys, haul away!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“I’ve heard,” said Chapin, “many folk agree,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Those birds are souls of sailors lost at sea,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='18' id='Page_18'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      And often one around the vessel flies</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      To give us warning ere the storms arise.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      “Talkin’ of spirits in the vasty deep,”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Said Ezra Bullard, late of Marblehead,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      “There’s one at least who never goes to sleep,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And mighty little good of him is said;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      His special dispensation is to watch</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      The bottom of the ocean, and to see</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      It don’t fall out—for if it did we catch</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      The very direst kind of misery,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      For all the water runnin’ through the hole</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Would leave it dry as you can understand,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And from the Arctic to the ’tother pole,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      ’Twould be one thunderin’ lot of empty land.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And thereupon in his south-wester tones</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      He let us have the song of Davy Jones.</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='19' id='Page_19'></span><h1>DAVY JONES</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Down in the sea among sand and stones,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>There lives the old fellow called Davy Jones.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>When storms come up he sighs and groans,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And that is the singing of Davy Jones.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>His chest is full of dead men’s bones,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And that is the locker of Davy Jones.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Davy is Welsh you may hear by his tones,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For a regular Welsher is Davy Jones.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='20' id='Page_20'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Whenever a fish gets drowned, he moans,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So tender-hearted is Davy Jones.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Thousands of ships the old man owns,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But none go a-sailing for Davy Jones.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Well—since you talk o’ the bottom of the sea,”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Said Enoch Doolittle of Salem town,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“I know a yarn that beats you full and free,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Because, d’ye know, it takes you deeper down,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And if you’re taken down—of course you’re beat.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“That’s so,” cried all, “so now your yarn repeat!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“All right,” quoth Doolittle, “I’ll serve it hot,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Because, d’ye see, it’s called The Devil’s Pot.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But ’fore I dive into the salty brine,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Give me a gill of white New England wine!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Take one all round to benefit the pub.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Now for the bottom of the pickle tub.”</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='21' id='Page_21'></span><h1>THE DEVIL’S POT<a id='r2'/><a href='#f2' style='text-decoration:none'><sup><span style='font-size:0.9em'>[2]</span></sup></a></h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>There’s a place where you see the Atlantic heave</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Like water boiling hot;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Where you come with grief and with joy you leave,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And they call it the Devil’s Pot.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Now there was a witch in the good old time,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And she had such power, they say,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Through rocks or stones or sand or lime,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>She could always make her way.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>One night on a broom she went with a whirr;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The devil he saw her fly,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='22' id='Page_22'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the devil he fell in love with her</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As she went sailing by.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>She flew like the devil to scape away,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the devil so did he,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And she jumped from her broom without delay</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And she dived to the bottom of the sea.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And she bored a hole when she got down,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And round and round she twirled,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And closed it behind as she went on,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Till she went straight through the world.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And the devil he dived in the water deep,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And he made it boil like pitch</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As he roared and raved with many a leap,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But he never could find the witch.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='23' id='Page_23'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And still he stirs it by night and day,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And seeks and finds her not;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And that is the reason, the sailors say,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Why it’s called the Devil’s Pot.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“They say that there are witches everywhere,”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Said Jones of Chesapeake, “a livin’ free;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Some in the rocks, some flyin’ in the air,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And some, in course, like fishes in the sea.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I’ve often heard strange voices in the night—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>They wan’t no birds I’ll swer, nor any sitch—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>One called me once by name; it gim’me fright—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And that I’m sartin was a water-witch.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>One can’t in nat’ral wise account for that,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>All you can call it is a Mr. E——</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But there are witches, I will bet a hat;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And so I’ll sing the song of One, Two, Three,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Fust drinkin’ all your healths,”—no more he said,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But in a good round voice went straight ahead:</p> - -<hr class='footnotemark'/> - -<div class='footnote'> -<table summary='footnote_2'> -<colgroup> -<col span='1' style='width: 3em;'/> -<col span='1'/> -</colgroup> -<tr><td style='vertical-align:top;'> -<div id='f2'><a href='#r2'>[2]</a></div> -</td><td> - -<p class='pindent'>The Devil’s Pot is a place on the North Atlantic route where, according to -sailors, there is always bad weather.</p> - -</td></tr> -</table> -</div> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='24' id='Page_24'></span><h1>ONE, TWO, THREE</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>I saw three witches as the wind blew cold</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In a red light to the lee;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Bold they were and over-bold</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As they sailed over the sea;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Calling for One, Two, Three!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Calling for One, Two, Three!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And I think I can hear</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      It a-ringing in my ear,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      A-calling for the One, Two, Three.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And clouds came over the sky,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the wind it blew hard and free,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the waves grew bold and over-bold</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As we sailed over the sea;</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='25' id='Page_25'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Howling for One, Two, Three!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Howling for their One, Two, Three!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Oh I think I can hear</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      It a-ringing in my ear,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      A-howling for their One, Two, Three!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And the storm came roaring on,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Such a storm as I never did see,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the storm it was bold and over-bold,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And as bad as a storm could be;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      A-roaring for its One, Two, Three!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      A-howling for its One, Two, Three!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Oh I think I can hear</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      It a-howling in my ear,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      A-growling for its One, Two, Three!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And a wave came over the deck,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As big as a wave could be,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='26' id='Page_26'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>And it took away the captain and the mate and a man:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>It had got the One, Two, Three!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And it went with the One, Two, Three!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Oh I think I can hear</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      It a-rolling in my ear,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      As it went with the One, Two, Three.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>This being cheered, I said, “Some time ago</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I made a song in the Italian tongue</p> -<p class='dramaline'>About a witch and pirate—which for you</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Shall, if you like, be now in English sung.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“No, give it first,” cried Saltonstall, “by jingo!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In its own nateral, Eyetalian lingo;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>What I don’t know of it ain’t worth a cent;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Even to Rome I several times have went,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In Naples, too, I’ve had full many a turn</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And know old Spartivento like a dern;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And most of us, I reckon—though we’re Yankee—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Can go the Dago, or some <span class='it'>lingua frankey</span>.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>We ain’t so ignorant of what we know;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So go ahead, Signor—<span class='it'>prestissimo</span>!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Ef we don’t catch the sense ’twill be a pity.”—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So thus encouraged I began my ditty:</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='27' id='Page_27'></span><h1>LA BELLA STREGA</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        Era una bella strega</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Che si bagnava alla riva;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Vennero i pirati,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Lei presero captiva.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        Il vento era in poppa,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Sull’onde la nave ballò,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        La donna lacrimante</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Al capitan parlò:</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        “O Signor Capitano!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        O Capitan’ del mar!</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='28' id='Page_28'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Daro cento ducati</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Se tu mi lasci andar!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        “Non prenderò cento ducati,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Tu costi molto più,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Io te vendrò al Sultano,”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Disse il Capitano</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        “Per mille zecchini d’oro</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Vi stimi troppo giù.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        “Non vuoi i cento ducati.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Ebben, tu non gli avrai,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Ho un’amante amato</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Non mi abbandona mai.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        Essa sedé sul ponte,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Principiò a cantar:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        “Vieni il mio amante!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Da lontano il vento</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Si mette a mugghiar.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='29' id='Page_29'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        Forte e più forte</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        La tempesta ruggio:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Gridava il Capitano:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        “Io credo che il tuo amante</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        E il vento che corre innante,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Ovvero il diavolo.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        Forte e più forte</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        La procella urlò:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        “Sono roccie davanti,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        E il vento vien di dietro,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Ben venuto sei tu, mio amante!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        La bella donna cantò.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        “Vattene al tuo amante</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        All’inferno a cantar!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Disse il Capitano,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        E gettò la donna fuori</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Della nave nel mar.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='30' id='Page_30'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        Ma come un gabbiano</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Sull’onde essa volò:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        “O mio Capitano!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Non sarai appiccato,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Ma sarai annegato;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Per sempre addio!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“That’s derned good Dago,” cried Jack Saltonstall;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Blamed ef I didn’t understand it all.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For the best songs are easiest understood:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Now then let’s hear if t’other side’s as good!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A song is like a bird—’cos birds do sing—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So carve us out the second breast and wing;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And with your anthem bid our hearts rejoice:”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Encouraged thus I lifted up my voice.</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='31' id='Page_31'></span><h1>THE BEAUTIFUL WITCH</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>A pretty witch was bathing</p> -<p class='dramaline'>By the beach one summer day;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>There came a boat with pirates</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who carried her away.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>The ship had a breeze behind her,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Over the waves went she!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“O Signor Capitano,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>O Captain of the Sea!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I’ll give you a hundred ducats,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>If you will set me free!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“I will not take a hundred;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>You’re worth much more, you know:</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='32' id='Page_32'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>I’ll sell you to the Sultan</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For a thousand golden sequins:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>You put yourself far too low.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“You will not take a hundred,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Very well then, let them be!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But I have a constant lover</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who, as you may discover,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Will never abandon me.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>On the deck, before the rover,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The witch began to sing:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Oh come to me, my lover!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the wind as it stole over</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Began to howl and ring.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Louder and ever louder</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Became the tempest’s roar,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The captain in a passion</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='33' id='Page_33'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Thus at the lady swore:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“I believe that your windy lover</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Is the devil and nothing more!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Wilder and ever wilder</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The tempest raged and rang,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“There are rocks ahead, and the wind dead aft,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Thank you, my love!” the lady laughed</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As unto the wind she sang.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Oh go with your cursed lover</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To <span class='it'>inferno</span> to sing for me!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So cried the angry captain,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And threw the lady over</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To sink in the stormy sea.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>But changing into a sea-gull</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Over the waves she flew.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“O capitain, captain bold,” sang she,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='34' id='Page_34'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>“ ’Tis true you’ve missed the gallows tree,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But now you’ll drown in the foaming sea,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>O captain, forever adieu!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Talkin’ of witches and magicianers,”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Cried out Jack Saltonstall of Newbury port,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“They are the devil’s own parishioners,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And I knew one of a peculiar sort,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Because he was a sailor—had he been</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A lawyer, now, it wouldn’t seem so queer:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For conjurers ’mong us ain’t often seen,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And he was of the kind who ain’t small beer,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Possessing cash enough to roll in bliss:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>However that may be, the story’s <span class='it'>this</span>.”</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='35' id='Page_35'></span><h1>THE WITCH’S BOX</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Once when I went upon a trip</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Likewise to the Southern sea,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>We had a man upon the ship</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And a wonderful man was he.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>A handsomer man I never did spy,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>At home or in any port;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But there was something in his eye</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of a most peculiar sort.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And all in Trinidado’s port</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Was a woman fair and rich,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>With her my messmate did consort,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And I heard she was a witch.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='36' id='Page_36'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Her eyes, like his, had a greenish glare,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>They seemed to be quite of a level,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the general look of the loving pair</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Was exactly the look of the devil.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Now when it was time to up and lift,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the ship must leave the docks,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He came aboard with her parting gift,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A brown little wooden box.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Now this man had hardly a shirt to his back,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>When he started on this trip,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the mate declared that such a Jack</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Was a regular shame to the ship.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Then this man he winked a dreadful wink,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And said to the mate, “I’ll be floored:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But I’ve got more clothes in my box, I think,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Than all of the men on board.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='37' id='Page_37'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Now his box was only one foot square,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And what was our surprise</p> -<p class='dramaline'>When he opened it and pulled out a pair</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of shirts before our eyes!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Next came a hat and a jacket blue,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>With trousers of the best,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For everything was nice and new,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And so on with all the rest.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And when he was drest, all spick and span,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>We observed upon our oaths</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That we didn’t believe even our old man</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Had got such a suit of clothes.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Twenty-four hours arter, I heard him say,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And I thought it was very strange:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“I never wear my clothes but a day</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And now it is time to change.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='38' id='Page_38'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“I make you a gift on ’em fair and plain,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>With a quid of tobacco to boot.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Sayin’ this he opened his box again,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And pulled out another new suit.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And the same thing happened the very next day,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>At about the very same bells,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He took off his second suit so gay,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And gave it to somebody else.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>So it happened every day again,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Till he’d rigged us all from his store;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And such a dandy lot of men</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Were never in a ship before.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Then we never had any scrimmages</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For fear of spilin’ our slops:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>We looked like the graven images</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Before the tailors’ shops.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='39' id='Page_39'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>But a man named Knox from Edinboro toun,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Always took the thing amiss,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And often remarked with a doubtful frown:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“There is something eereligious in this!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>So one day when our friend had opened his box,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Before we could prevent,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Up behind him came Mr. Knox</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And dropped in his New Testament.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>There came a flash of lightning bright,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And an awful thunder’s roar,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the box and the sailor went clean out o’ sight,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And we never beheld ’em more.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And all to ashes and all to wreck</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Went our clothes, and we looked forlorn,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For there we were standing on the deck</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As naked as we were born!</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='40' id='Page_40'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And this is the lesson short and small,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which we learned from our liberal friend,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That the things which cost you nothing at all</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Never come to any good in the end.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And when the laugh at this had died away,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Mose Brown of Bristol in the whaling line</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Said: “Mermaids are the witches of the sea,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which in good looks are really superfine.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And on this subject I will give a song,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which I daresay you all already know,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But anyway it isn’t very long,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Though it was made a hundred years ago,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I guess that mermaids were much plentier then;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Perhaps they’re scared of steamboats and the swell</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which drives the fish as foxes do a hen—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So like the steamers I will now propel.”</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='41' id='Page_41'></span><h1>THE MERMAID</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      One Friday morning we set sail<a id='r3'/><a href='#f3' style='text-decoration:none'><sup><span style='font-size:0.9em'>[3]</span></sup></a></p> -<p class='dramaline'>      It was not far from land,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      When I espied a fair mermaid,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      With a comb and a glass in her hand.</p> -<p class='dramaline'> <span class='it'>Chorus.</span> And the raging winds do blow, blow, blow,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        And the raging winds do blow;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        And we poor sailors climbing up aloft,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        And the land lubbers lying down below.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      Then up spoke the boy of our gallant ship</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And a well-spoken boy was he:</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='42' id='Page_42'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>      “I’ve a mother and father in London town,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And this night they will weep for me.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      Then up spoke the captain of our gallant ship,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And a well-spoken man was he:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      “I’ve a wife who is living in Liverpool town,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      A wife whom I never shall see.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      “My wife who is living in Liverpool town</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      This night will be looking for me;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      She may look till the sun no more goes down,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      She may look to the bottom of the sea.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      Then three times around went our gallant ship,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And three times around went she;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And three times around was the end of her trip,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      When she sank to the bottom of the sea.</p> - -<hr class='footnotemark'/> - -<div class='footnote'> -<table summary='footnote_3'> -<colgroup> -<col span='1' style='width: 3em;'/> -<col span='1'/> -</colgroup> -<tr><td style='vertical-align:top;'> -<div id='f3'><a href='#r3'>[3]</a></div> -</td><td> - -<p class='pindent'>There may be a few readers to whom it is necessary to point out that this first -ballad of the “Mermaid” is an old song, here used as introduction to a second by -me, which is of the same nature.</p> - -</td></tr> -</table> -</div> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='43' id='Page_43'></span><h1>THE MERMAN</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Then another man said when that song was sung:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>There are men like you and me,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who will sometimes come ashore and get sprung,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Yet who live at the bottom of the sea.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>For I myself knew one of that folk</p> -<p class='dramaline'>(I believe he still lives and thrives),</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And I’ll tell you the truth without any joke</p> -<p class='dramaline'>How we saved one another’s blest lives.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>I was walking one night in New York town,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the moon shone bright and clear,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>When I thought I heard a singular sound</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That came from a board-yard near.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='44' id='Page_44'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>First was a groan of misery,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And then a scythe of pain;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And a voice which wailed: “Oh where is the Sea?</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which I never shall see again?”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And I thought that party must be cracked,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or a little over the bay;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Because the water was not, in fact,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A half of a mile away.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>So I looked that sufferin’ mortal up,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And found, sufficiently soon,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A man who looked like a perishin’ pup,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As he lay in the light of the moon.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And I said to him, “Matey, just confess</p> -<p class='dramaline'>What all of this row’s about,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And what was it got you into this mess,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And how can I get you out?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='45' id='Page_45'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Then this man he opened his eyes so wide:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“No more do I ask of thee</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Than to carry me down to the water’s side,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And chuck me right into the sea.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And I says, “ ’Tis a singular thing to ask,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But I think it can be no sin,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And anyhow ’tis an easy task</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To carry and pitch you in.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>So I picked that perishin’ person up,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And slewed him on my back,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And he wriggled and moved with many a flup</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Like a codfish or a jack.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>But when I had carried him half the way,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He seemed to be half-way done,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And when we had got ’longside of the bay,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I guessed that his life was gone.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='46' id='Page_46'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>But when he heard the water splash,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He opened his eyes—you bet!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And said: “If you only will make a dash—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Good Lord! there’s a chance for me yet!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And when we came to the water’s edge,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I never a word did say,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But carried him right to the end of the Ledge,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And dumped him into the Bay.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And then he gin a yell of delight,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And then he warbled a tune,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As he swam about in the water bright,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>All there in the light of the moon.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And he hollered to me his partin’ thanks,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And said: “I am outer my pain;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Good-bye! I’m off for the ’Foundland Banks;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Some day we shall meet again.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='47' id='Page_47'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Now when a year had passed I found</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Myself in a Southern sea,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A-wrecked; for all on board were drowned,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And nobody saved but me.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And as I sat upon the turf,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And looked at the water blue,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A man came walking out of the surf,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And says to me: “How do you do?</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“I think you don’t remember me,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Allow me to let you know</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I’m the fellow that you threw into the sea—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In New York—a year ago.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“My home is down in the Ocean deep,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And sometimes—would you think?</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I go ashore when men are asleep</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To a tavern to take a drink.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='48' id='Page_48'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“My mother was a mermaid fair,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>She lived down in the sea;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And my father he was a Dutch sailór,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So it came that I am what I be.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“And I can walk about on land</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Until my clothes are dry,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But that brings up to the end of my sand,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For then I must surely die:</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“And my soul sail off for Doldrum Isle,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Unless some one pities my pain,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And carries me down where the waters bile,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And puts me in ’em again.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“One turn deserves another, ahoy!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And John must settle with Jack;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>You treated me like a brother, old boy</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And now I will pay you back.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='49' id='Page_49'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“In this bag there is more than a thousand pound,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And I give it all to you:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In a Spanish galloon that money I found,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>(It’s a thing which I frequently do).</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“But in this place you’d be sure to spile,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So now I will give you a tip:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Just walk to the other side of this isle,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And there you will find a ship.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“You’ll find her there as sure as you’re born;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Her name is the <span class='it'>Clara Belle</span>,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>She sails for Havanna in the morn,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So, matey—fare-you-well!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Farewell—for here I cannot bide.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He turned his back to the shore,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And walked right into the risin’ tide,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And I never beheld him more.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='50' id='Page_50'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>So we never should doubt of a mystery,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>There are lots of ’em round us still;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For nobody knows what’s down in the sea,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And nobody ever will.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Said Brown, “That story now goes home to me.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Folks say a witch, a wizard, and a Finn,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Are all jint partners in all deviltry,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The Devil himself of course bein’ counted in;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And of these Northern conjurers I can sing</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A song if you will join me in the chorus.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>First take your drinks—that is the prudent thing,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>We never know in life what lies before us.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which having done, himself he did begin</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The wondrous ballad of the “Wizard Finn.”</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='51' id='Page_51'></span><h1>THE WIZARD FINN</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>As I suppose, you all have heard</p> -<p class='dramaline'>There’s no good luck with a Finn on board,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I can tell you that is so.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I’ve sailed with one and I ought to know:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    For it is true, upon my word,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    There’s no good luck with a Finn on board.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Eric Jansen was his name,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And from Christián’ he came;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A seemly man all for to see,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But devil a bit the man for me:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    For it is true, as all have heard,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    There’s no good luck with a Finn on board.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='52' id='Page_52'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>From the hour he joined the ship,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>All went wrong in all the trip;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>’Twas nothing but swear and growl and groan,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the weather was just the devil’s own:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    You may reckon it all absurd,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    But there’s no good luck with a Finn on board.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Our grub was spoiled from that first hour,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Except the vinegar all was sour;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>All you heard was Lubber! and Liar!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And everything hot except the fire:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    For it is true, as all accord,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    There’s no good luck with a Finn on board.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>For as the doctors all do know,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A Finn has fins between each toe:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He is web-footed like a duck;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which is the cause of his bad luck:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    For it is true, as I averred,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    There’s no good luck with a Finn on board.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='53' id='Page_53'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And when at last it got so bad,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That master and men were nigh gone mad,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A rummerin’ whisper did begin</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That ’twas all along of this here Finn:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    For it is true, and on re-córd</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    There’s no good luck with a Finn on board.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And the long and short of this debate</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Was that one night our second mate,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Bein’ as mad as a man might be,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Pitched Eric Jansen into the sea:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    For it is true, unless I’ve erred,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    There’s no good luck with a Finn on board.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>When all at once around there came</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Over the sea a greenish flame,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the biggest whale I ever spied,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Rose up by Eric Jansen’s side:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    For it is true, as you may’ve inferred,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    There’s no good luck with a Finn on board.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='54' id='Page_54'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And the Finn he got upon the whale,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And off in the flame we saw them sail;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Hearing a song as they fell behind,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Like women singing with the wind:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    For it is true, as all have concurred,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    There’s no good luck with a Finn on board.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Off from the ship and off the shore,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And Eric Jansen we saw no more;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But from that hour, aboard that ship,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>All went well for the rest of the trip:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    For it is true, upon my word,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    As you and I have often heard,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    People may say it’s all absurd,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And yet it holds as I averred,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And bein’ a fact it’s on recórd,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    Unless the best of men have erred,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    As you may truly have inferred,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    In which observers have concurred:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    There’s no good luck with a Finn on board.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“That story of the Finn,” said one to Brown,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Is of the kind which hev been salted down,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which is the reason, I suppose, why you</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Take such a lot of pains to prove it’s true.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>When tales are c’rect in all their fitnesses,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>There ain’t no need of forty witnesses,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Nor one at all I guess, but that’s enough;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Now listen to the song of ‘Charley Buff,’</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who always said, ‘I am a truthful man:’ ”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He polished off his drink and thus began:</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='55' id='Page_55'></span><h1>CHARLEY BUFF</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         Oh Charley Buff was his parents’ joy,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           And as he always told,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         He went to sea as a cabin-boy</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           Before he was one year old.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='56' id='Page_56'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  <span class='it'>Chorus.</span> Now this is pretty bad,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           But it’s nothin’ to what’s a-coming:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         Yet Charley he was a truthful lad,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           And never indulged in humming.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         And this Charley Buff allays said to me:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           “To lie I cannot afford,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         For you know I hev got more truth in me</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           Than all of the rest on board.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         “I have seen in the isle of Barriboo</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           Such high-sized coco-nuts,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         That the natives used to split ’em in two</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           And use ’em to make their huts.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         “I hev seen the Kanaka women</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           Foller a ship’n full sail,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         A thousand miles a-swimmin’</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           For a bottle or a tenpenny nail.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='57' id='Page_57'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         “I hev seen the eggs of the toodly-wang;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           It’s a bird in the Muldive Isles;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         And when they hatch they burst with a bang</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           You can hear five hundred miles.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         “From a Cariboo king named Jocko,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           A man of cheerful life,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         For only a fid of tobacco</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           I bought me a beautiful wife.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         “One night she was gone, by gum!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           But as soon as ever I missed her,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         From the king for a glass of rum</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           I bought her younger sister.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>         “One evening for their tea</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           Her family broiled and ate her;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         ‘Never mind!’ says the king to me,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           ‘Just go and pick out a better.’ ”</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='58' id='Page_58'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  <span class='it'>Chorus.</span> Now this is pretty bad,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           Yet it’s nothin’ to what’s a-coming;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>         But I hear the old man a bawlin’ like mad,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>           So I guess I will stop my humming.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Wal,” answered Brown, “that comes it rather strong.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Now if you like I’ll sing a pirate’s song</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of which you all have heard at times a bit;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I’ve jined ’em into one to make ’em fit,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Like beads upon a string, altho’ I fear</p> -<p class='dramaline'>It’s partly pirate and part mutineer.”</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='59' id='Page_59'></span><h1>BOLD ROBIN ROVER</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        Bold Robin Rover</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Said to his crew:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        “Up with the black flag</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          And down with the blue!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Up with the Black Boy!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          All men to show,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Over the water</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          And off let us go!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        A man-of-war he hailed us:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          “Come under my lee!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        “See you damned,” said the pirate,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          “For I’d rather sink at sea,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='60' id='Page_60'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>        In the blue water</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Far out and free,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Cruising down on the shore</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          By the coast of Barbary.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        We met the <span class='it'>Flying Dutchman</span>,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          By midnight he came,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        His hull was all of hell fire,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          His sails were all o’ flame;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Fire on the main-top,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Fire on the bow,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Fire on the gun-deck,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Fire down below!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        Four-and-twenty dead men,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Those were the crew,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        The devil on the bowsprit</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Fiddled as she flew.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='61' id='Page_61'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        We gave her a broadside</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Right in the dip,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Just like a candle,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Out went the ship.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        We met a gallant vessel</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          A-sailing on the sea,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        For mercy, for mercy,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          For mercy, she did plea;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        But the mercy we gave her</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          We sunk her in the sea;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Cruising down on the shore</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          By the coast of Barbary,</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        Four-and-twenty Spaniards,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Mighty men of rank,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        With their golden ladies</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Had to walk the plank,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='62' id='Page_62'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Over the gunwale</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Into the sea,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Cruising down on the shore,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          By the coast of Barbary.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        Oh devil take the captain!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          And devil take the ship!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        And devil take the cargo!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          And devil take the trip!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        And devil take the bo’su’n!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          And devil take his call!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        And devil take the doctor!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          And devil take ’em all!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>        Over the quarter,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Over the sail,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Into the water,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Dead as a nail,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='63' id='Page_63'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Slung like a biscuit,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Hot as a coal,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Where the sharks may take the body,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          And the devil take the soul!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Then spoke Grim Sam of Jersey, “As we’ve heard</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A mermaid or a witch is the same bird,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But of a different feather, so a pirate,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And slaver, is all one for guards to fire at,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For pirates kill and plunder all they catch,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And slavers at the same are just their match;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>There ain’t no special difference” (it was said</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That Sam himself well knew the Guinea trade,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And half-way to the devil had sent his soul</p> -<p class='dramaline'>By running into Cuba “sacks of coal”)—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And then he sang to us right merrily</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A slaver’s song, which was not writ by me.</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='64' id='Page_64'></span><h1>TIME FOR US TO GO</h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>With sails let fall and sheeted home, and clear of the ground were we,</p> -<p class='line0'>We passed the bank, stood round the light, and sailed away to sea;</p> -<p class='line0'>The wind was fair and the coast was clear, and the brig was noways slow,</p> -<p class='line0'>For she was built in Baltimore, and ’twas time for us to go.</p> -<p class='line0'>                    Time for us to go,</p> -<p class='line0'>                    Time for us to go,</p> -<p class='line0'>For she was built in Baltimore, and ’twas time for us to go.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>A quick run to the West we had, and when we made the Bight,</p> -<p class='line0'>We kept the offing all day long, and crossed the bar at night.</p> -<p class='line0'>Six hundred niggers in the hold, and seventy we did stow,</p> -<p class='line0'>And when we’d clapped the hatches on, ’twas time for us to go.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='65' id='Page_65'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>We hadn’t been three days at sea before we saw a sail,</p> -<p class='line0'>So we clapped on every inch she’d stand, although it blew a gale,</p> -<p class='line0'>And we walked along full fourteen knots, for the barkie she did know,</p> -<p class='line0'>As well as ever a soul on board, ’twas time for us to go.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>We carried away the royal yards, and the stun’sle boom was gone,</p> -<p class='line0'>Says the skipper, “They may go or stand; I’m darned if I don’t crook on.</p> -<p class='line0'>So the weather braces we’ll round in, and the trys’le set also,</p> -<p class='line0'>And we’ll keep the brig three p’ints away, for it’s time for us to go.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Oh yard-arm under she did plunge in the trough of the deep seas,</p> -<p class='line0'>And her masts they thrashed about like whips as she bowled before the breeze,</p> -<p class='line0'>And every yard did buckle up like to a bending bow,</p> -<p class='line0'>But her spars were tough as whalebone, and ’twas time for us to go.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>We dropped the cruiser in the night, and our cargo landed we,</p> -<p class='line0'>And ashore we went, with our pockets full of dollars, on the spree.</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='66' id='Page_66'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>And when the liquor it is out, and the locker it is low,</p> -<p class='line0'>Then to sea again, in the ebony trade, ’twill be time for us to go.</p> -<p class='line0'>                    Time for us to go,</p> -<p class='line0'>                    Time for us to go,</p> -<p class='line0'>Then to sea again, in the ebony trade, ’twill be time for us to go.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>    “Wall,” said Mose Brown, “I ’low that that escape</p> -<p class='line0'>    From the derned cruiser was a blame close shave,</p> -<p class='line0'>    And I myself once in as bad a scrape</p> -<p class='line0'>    Was lifted out by one big thumping wave</p> -<p class='line0'>    On the same line of coast—or thereabout,</p> -<p class='line0'>    Since it was off the Bight—that’s old Benin—</p> -<p class='line0'>    Where as the sayin’ is, ‘but one goes out</p> -<p class='line0'>    Of all a hundred strangers who go in.’</p> -<p class='line0'>    It ain’t so healthy quite—to be exact—</p> -<p class='line0'>    As ’tis in Colorado high and dry,</p> -<p class='line0'>    Where they send invalids—it is a fact—</p> -<p class='line0'>    Off to some other country for to die;</p> -<p class='line0'>    Excuse me, gents, for keepin’ you so long,</p> -<p class='line0'>    Now I’ll proceed to let you hev my song.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='67' id='Page_67'></span><h1>ROLLING OVER<a id='r4'/><a href='#f4' style='text-decoration:none'><sup><span style='font-size:0.9em'>[4]</span></sup></a></h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>    It was upon a Boston brig, and that was in the Fall,</p> -<p class='line0'>    Our barky she was light as a gig, for our lading was but small;</p> -<p class='line0'>    And it was in the American War as we were sailing thus,</p> -<p class='line0'>    When we saw a steamer from afar, and knew she was after us.</p> -<p class='line0'>      <span class='it'>Chorus.</span> Rolling over, rolling over, rolling on.</p> -<p class='line0'>             The roaring waves they came,</p> -<p class='line0'>             Like water into fire all gone,</p> -<p class='line0'>             For the sea was all of a flame.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now I have often seen by dark the sea a-burning bright,</p> -<p class='line0'>But nothing did I yet remark like what it was that night,</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='68' id='Page_68'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>And the wake we left behind us as we sailed for many an hour,</p> -<p class='line0'>Was like a fiery serpent who was chasing to devour.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And then the captain made a speech to us a-standing round,</p> -<p class='line0'>And said: “ ’Fore I’ll be taken I’ll be damned if I don’t be drowned;</p> -<p class='line0'>Yet if you will be plucky, men, and likewise well behaved,</p> -<p class='line0'>We’ve got one chance in a thousand yet, but what we may be saved.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“About ten miles to leeward there lies the Guinea land,</p> -<p class='line0'>And for fifty miles before it clear a narrow bar of sand;</p> -<p class='line0'>And if we find a deepish place—as such of them there are—</p> -<p class='line0'>It just is barely possible that we may clear the bar.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Then we gave three cheers for our old man because we liked his dash,</p> -<p class='line0'>And allowed ere we’d go to prison that we all would go to smash;</p> -<p class='line0'>So then we set the wheel up with the steamer coming down,</p> -<p class='line0'>And never a man did care a damn if he was going to drown.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='69' id='Page_69'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now as we came unto the bar I happened to remark</p> -<p class='line0'>A spot among the waves on which the water it was dark;</p> -<p class='line0'>And I showed it to the captain, who saw the place was fit,</p> -<p class='line0'>And hollered to the helmsman to steer her straight for it.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now just as we were working to this very closest shave,</p> -<p class='line0'>There came by Heaven’s mercy a tremendous booming wave,</p> -<p class='line0'>Which gave the barky such a lift, thanks to our lucky star,</p> -<p class='line0'>That though we felt the bottom scrape—by God we crossed the bar!</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And as we came in the still water we gave three roaring cheers,</p> -<p class='line0'>For the rebel he was locked outside—of him we had no fears;</p> -<p class='line0'>But I never shall forget until I come unto my grave,</p> -<p class='line0'>How we were saved on the Guinea coast by the sea-light and the wave.</p> -<p class='line0'>      <span class='it'>Chorus.</span> Rolling over, rolling over, rolling on.</p> -<p class='line0'>             The roaring waves they came,</p> -<p class='line0'>             Like water into fire all gone,</p> -<p class='line0'>             For the sea was all of a flame.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='70' id='Page_70'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>             Quoth Nat of Stonington, “That <span class='it'>is</span> a bruiser,</p> -<p class='line0'>             And yet I know darn’d well it could be done</p> -<p class='line0'>             With the third wave—but talking of a cruiser,</p> -<p class='line0'>             I know a song—’tis just a little one—</p> -<p class='line0'>             But first I would observe that a <span class='it'>muskeeter</span></p> -<p class='line0'>             Is not an insect, for as you should know</p> -<p class='line0'>             The term’s applied unto a different creeter,</p> -<p class='line0'>             Which sails about the Gulf of Mexico.</p> -<p class='line0'>             Sometimes the thing is called a <span class='it'>guard-accoster</span>,<a id='r5'/><a href='#f5' style='text-decoration:none'><sup><span style='font-size:0.9em'>[5]</span></sup></a></p> -<p class='line0'>             And when one did accost us with a gun,</p> -<p class='line0'>             Out of the way we ginerally tost her;</p> -<p class='line0'>             It ain’t hard work to make a greaser run.</p> -<p class='line0'>             Well, that’ll do. We got a song before us,</p> -<p class='line0'>             And them as likes may holler in the chorus.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<hr class='footnotemark'/> - -<div class='footnote'> -<table summary='footnote_4'> -<colgroup> -<col span='1' style='width: 3em;'/> -<col span='1'/> -</colgroup> -<tr><td style='vertical-align:top;'> -<div id='f4'><a href='#r4'>[4]</a></div> -</td><td> - -<p class='pindent'>This ballad was very much revised, corrected, turned over, and re-turned, by -sundry old sailors, chief among whom was the ancient mariner, Captain Stead. -Almost the same could be said of all these songs, but this one was specially “cut up -and salted down for sea use.”</p> - -</td></tr> -</table> -</div> - -<div class='footnote'> -<table summary='footnote_5'> -<colgroup> -<col span='1' style='width: 3em;'/> -<col span='1'/> -</colgroup> -<tr><td style='vertical-align:top;'> -<div id='f5'><a href='#r5'>[5]</a></div> -</td><td> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='it'>Guarda Costa.</span></p> - -</td></tr> -</table> -</div> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='71' id='Page_71'></span><h1>THE MUSQUITO</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Said Paul unto Peter,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“I see a muskeeter,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    The boat’s coming over the bay.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Said Peter to Paul,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“She is saucy, though small,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And the captain is sailing away.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Said Paul unto Peter,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Confound the old creetur,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    The boat’s coming over the bay.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Said Peter to Paul,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“We will soon make her squall,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And the captain is sailing away.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='72' id='Page_72'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Said Paul unto Peter,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“We’ll bang her and beat her!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    The boat’s coming over the bay.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Said Peter to Paul,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Set stun’sles and all,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And the captain is sailing away.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Said Paul unto Peter,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“We’ll give her short metre,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    The boat’s coming over the bay.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Said Peter to Paul,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Give her powder and ball,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And the captain is sailing away.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Said Paul unto Peter,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“We’ll roast her and eat her,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    The boat’s coming over the bay.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Said Peter to Paul,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“We will gobble them all,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And the captain is sailing away!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Now, ’fore we fairly get into the Gulf,”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Said Saltonstall, “and fall into its tide,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which swallows up so many like a wolf,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I’ll sing a song about a place outside,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Where a thing once took place which was a wonder—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I mean the story of ‘Old Stand from Under.’ ”</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='73' id='Page_73'></span><h1>STAND FROM UNDER!</h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>I was sailing in a vessel a long time ago,</p> -<p class='line0'>All the while dead against us the wind used to blow,</p> -<p class='line0'>And it seemed as if aboard us that nothing would go right,</p> -<p class='line0'>When over the Bahamas a-sailing by the night.</p> -<p class='line0'>   <span class='it'>Chorus.</span> By the night, by the night,</p> -<p class='line0'>          When over the Bahamas a-sailing by the night.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>  In the dark, up in the rigging, or somewhere on high,</p> -<p class='line0'>  “Hallo! Stand from under!” a voice used to cry;</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='74' id='Page_74'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>  But the Being who hallooed it was always out of sight,</p> -<p class='line0'>  When over the Bahamas a-sailing by the night.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>  On that gloomy haunted vessel, and all among her crew,</p> -<p class='line0'>  Was a dark and silent sailor whom no one ever knew;</p> -<p class='line0'>  And the Voice it called the loudest when that seaman came to light,</p> -<p class='line0'>  When over the Bahamas a-sailing by the night.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>  And we said to him one midnight when we heard it worst of all,</p> -<p class='line0'>  “Your friend there in the rigging is giving you a call.”</p> -<p class='line0'>  Then he looked up above him with such bitterness and spite,</p> -<p class='line0'>  When over the Bahama Isles a-sailing by the night.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>  When the Voice with “Stand from under!” once again to him salamed,</p> -<p class='line0'>  He hallooed back like thunder: “Let go then and be damned!”</p> -<p class='line0'>  Like a man in desperation who expects a cruel fight,</p> -<p class='line0'>  All over the Bahamas a-sailing by the night.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='75' id='Page_75'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>  And as the word was spoken—like coming to a beck—</p> -<p class='line0'>  A something came a-whizzing and fell down upon the deck,</p> -<p class='line0'>  And the body of a mariner was there before our sight,</p> -<p class='line0'>  All over the Bahama Isles a-sailing by the night.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>  And looking at the dead man, he said: “I do declare!</p> -<p class='line0'>  An hour’s sail from Cuba I stabbed that fellow there.</p> -<p class='line0'>  And now he always haunts me, though I killed him fair, in fight,</p> -<p class='line0'>  All over the Bahama Isles a-sailing by the night.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>  “But the devil a bit of fear have I of dead or living men,</p> -<p class='line0'>  I’ve lifted him before and I can lift him up again,</p> -<p class='line0'>  And pitch him in the water, and sink him out of sight,</p> -<p class='line0'>  All over the Bahamas a-sailing by the night.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>  He grappled with the dead man in spite of all our cries,</p> -<p class='line0'>  When life and awful anger came in the corpse’s eyes;</p> -<p class='line0'>  It tore him to the toffrail and held him deadly tight,</p> -<p class='line0'>  All over the Bahama Isles a-sailing by the night.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='76' id='Page_76'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>  And overboard together in a grapple went the two,</p> -<p class='line0'>  And downward sunk before us into the water blue;</p> -<p class='line0'>  But in and all around them shone a corpo-santo light,</p> -<p class='line0'>  All over the Bahama Isles a-sailing by the night.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>  But from that very minute the wind blew well and fair,</p> -<p class='line0'>  And everything went right with us when we had lost the pair;</p> -<p class='line0'>  But I always shall remember while I live that awful sight,</p> -<p class='line0'>  All over the Bahama Isles a-sailing by the night.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>    “Now that we’re gittin’ t’wards the Spanish Strand,”</p> -<p class='line0'>    Said Moses Brown, a-waving his bandana,</p> -<p class='line0'>    “I just propose that first of all I land—</p> -<p class='line0'>    As all of us have done—at the old Havanna.</p> -<p class='line0'>    Adventures there do gin’rally abound,</p> -<p class='line0'>    The natives being all sus-ceptive creeters;</p> -<p class='line0'>    For if romance upon this airth is found,</p> -<p class='line0'>    It sartinly <span class='it'>is</span> ’mong the senoritas.</p> -<p class='line0'>    Though he who of ’em would advantage take,</p> -<p class='line0'>    Must be on hand and al’ays wide awake:</p> -<p class='line0'>    <span class='it'>Quien el diablo ha de engañar</span></p> -<p class='line0'>    <span class='it'>Mañana ha bien de levantar</span>.”</p> -<p class='line0'>    Meanin’ that “who the devil would deceive,</p> -<p class='line0'>    Must rise uncommon early,” I believe.</p> -<p class='line0'>    That is the precious time to pick a salad,</p> -<p class='line0'>    As happened to the fellow in my ballad;</p> -<p class='line0'>    Who carried off the booty, as the Fox</p> -<p class='line0'>    Took the fair Hen from the two fighting Cocks.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='77' id='Page_77'></span><h1>NEAR HAVANNA</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  It was down near Havanna town, ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  It was down near Havanna town, low,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        That I saw a mortal fight,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        At the coming on of night,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  By the starlight a long time ago.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='78' id='Page_78'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  Two Spaniards were a-fighting for their lives,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    The blades flashed like lightning up and down;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  To the click and the clock of the knives,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And <span class='it'>there</span> stood a lady looking on.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  I asked her the cause of the fray,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And she answered in Spanish: “Oh see!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  They are villains who carried me away,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And now they are fighting for me.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  And I said as I looked at her face</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    That I hardly could blame such a theft,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  “But I’ll wait until one gets his grace,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    Then I’ll tackle with the other who is left.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  But just as I spoke, with a start,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    The two leapt and fell on the sand,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  For both had been stabbed to the heart</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And each had his death out of hand.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='79' id='Page_79'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  So I and the <span class='it'>donna</span> were friends,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And that of the kindest and best;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Now here this true history ends,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And you must imagine the rest.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  And ’twas all near Havanna town, ho!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  It was down by Havanna town, low,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        That I saw this mortal fight,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        At the coming on of night,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  By the starlight a long time ago.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>There sat a stranger there whom no one knew,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who did not seem a follower of the sea,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And yet no stranger surely to the Blue,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who now politely spoke the company,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Saying unto them: “Mates, ’tween you and me,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I put it as a question—don’t you think</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That it is pretty near time to take a drink?</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And if you do belong to Gideon’s Band,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Then here’s my purse to pay—and here’s my hand”—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>There was a roar of laughter loud and long,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And then the stranger burst into a song;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But for a minute were they all so gay,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For with the words their laughter died away.</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='80' id='Page_80'></span><h1>THE THREE DEAD MEN<br/> <span class='sub-head'><span class='it'>Los tres Muertos</span></span></h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Ever so far and far away,</p> -<p class='line0'>Down in the hollow by the bay,</p> -<p class='line0'>Where the beach is dry and the rocks are high,</p> -<p class='line0'>Under the sand three dead men lie.</p> -<p class='line0'>      There they lie alow, low, low,</p> -<p class='line0'>      Nor hear the cockrel’s crow.</p> -<p class='line0'>Where the palm-trees are a-growing, and the wind is ever blowing,</p> -<p class='line0'>      There they lie alow, low, low.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='81' id='Page_81'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>One was drowned in yonder sea,</p> -<p class='line0'>One was shot as it may be,</p> -<p class='line0'>One was left on the beach to die,</p> -<p class='line0'>But all in the hollow sleeping lie.</p> -<p class='line0'>      There they lie alow, low, low,</p> -<p class='line0'>      Nor wake at the cockrel’s crow.</p> -<p class='line0'>Where the palm-trees are a-growing, and the wind is ever blowing,</p> -<p class='line0'>      There they lie alow, low, low.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Sometimes when the moon is bright</p> -<p class='line0'>You can see the three, like gulls in flight,</p> -<p class='line0'>Flitting along above the waves,</p> -<p class='line0'>Or sitting and talking on their graves,</p> -<p class='line0'>      Where they lie alow, low, low,</p> -<p class='line0'>      Nor hear the cockrel’s crow.</p> -<p class='line0'>Where the palm-trees are a-growing, and the wind is ever blowing,</p> -<p class='line0'>      There they lie alow, low, low.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>      There was a pause—when some one merrily</p> -<p class='line0'>      Struck up a song which all have known of old;</p> -<p class='line0'>      How Billy Taylor’s sweetheart went to sea,</p> -<p class='line0'>      And how she fought in an engagement bold:</p> -<p class='line0'>      And as the talk ran on of female sailors</p> -<p class='line0'>      Who’ve gone to sea in men-of-war, or whalers,</p> -<p class='line0'>      Until I spoke and said: “I know a lay</p> -<p class='line0'>      About a Spanish lady, old lang syne,</p> -<p class='line0'>      Who, as a sailor, wished to sail away—</p> -<p class='line0'>      The words are by another and not mine:”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='82' id='Page_82'></span><h1>THE LADY-SAILOR<a id='r6'/><a href='#f6' style='text-decoration:none'><sup><span style='font-size:0.9em'>[6]</span></sup></a></h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>    I’ll go in yon boat, my mother,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    Oh yes! in yon boat I’ll go;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    I’ll go with the mariner, mother,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And I’ll be a mariner too.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='83' id='Page_83'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>      <span class='it'>Ay, ay, ay, verdadero,</span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>      <span class='it'>Ay, ay, con el marinero!</span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And I’ll be a mariner too!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>    Mother, there’s no refusing,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    What true love demands I must do;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    In love there’s no picking and choosing,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    So I’ll be a mariner too.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      <span class='it'>Ay, ay, verdadero,</span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>      <span class='it'>Ay, ay, con el marinero</span>,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And I’ll be a mariner too!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“I like those Spanish songs,” the stranger said:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Many I’ve heard and many I have read,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And if you like I’ll give you one in rhyme,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>By Gil Vincente of the oldest time,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which holds its own, and bravely, one may say,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For Spanish sailors sing it to this day.”</p> - -<hr class='footnotemark'/> - -<div class='footnote'> -<table summary='footnote_6'> -<colgroup> -<col span='1' style='width: 3em;'/> -<col span='1'/> -</colgroup> -<tr><td style='vertical-align:top;'> -<div id='f6'><a href='#r6'>[6]</a></div> -</td><td> - -<div class='literal-container' style=''><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:.8em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>Irme quiero, madre,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>En aquella galera</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>Con el marinero</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>Por ser marinera.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -</td></tr> -</table> -</div> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='84' id='Page_84'></span><h1>THE SPANISH SAILOR’S SONG</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>          If you’re sleeping, my dear,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Wake and open to me!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          For the hour is at hand</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          When afar we must flee.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>          If your white feet are bare</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Still no longer delay;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          For deep are the waters</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Which roll in our way.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>          The waters so deep</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          Of the Guadalquivír;</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='85' id='Page_85'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>          The hour is at hand,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>          We must wander, my dear.<a id='r7'/><a href='#f7' style='text-decoration:none'><sup><span style='font-size:0.9em'>[7]</span></sup></a></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>’Tis strange, he added, how our land, in truth,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As it goes Southward seems to turn to youth,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And with a softer sun all words are sung—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As things are warmed—into the Spanish tongue:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I’ve given you a song, let’s have another;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Well, I know one,” I said, “which seems its brother,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Although, compared to yours, it’s nearer zero,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In Spanish, <span class='it'>Digas tu el marinero!</span>”</p> - -<hr class='footnotemark'/> - -<div class='footnote'> -<table summary='footnote_7'> -<colgroup> -<col span='1' style='width: 3em;'/> -<col span='1'/> -</colgroup> -<tr><td style='vertical-align:top;'> -<div id='f7'><a href='#r7'>[7]</a></div> -</td><td> - -<div class='blockquoter8'> - -<div class='literal-container' style=''><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line'>Si dormis, donçella,</p> -<p class='line'>Despertad y abrid,</p> -<p class='line'>Que venida es la hora,</p> -<p class='line'>Si quereis partir.</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line'>Si descalza estais</p> -<p class='line'>No querais calzar,</p> -<p class='line'>Que muchas las aquas</p> -<p class='line'>Teneis de pasar—</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line'>Las aguas tan hondas</p> -<p class='line'>De Guadalquivír;</p> -<p class='line'>Que venida es la hora</p> -<p class='line'>Si teneis partir.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -</div> - -</td></tr> -</table> -</div> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='86' id='Page_86'></span><h1>THE LOVER TO THE SAILOR</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Now tell me this, my sailor boy,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  As sure as you love your wine,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Oh did you ever see a ship</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  As trim as that girl of mine?</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And you who’ve been in many a gale,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And stood on many a deck;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Oh did you ever see a sail</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  As white as my true love’s neck?</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And you who have been where the red rose blows</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  In many a Southern place,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Oh did you ever see a rose</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Like those in my sweetheart’s face?</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Here’s a cheer for the women with jet black curls,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Of Spain or of Portugal!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And seven for the Yankee and English girls,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  The prettiest of them all!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Wall now,” cried Jones, “I railly must admit,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Them Spanish songs of yourn hev taste and wit;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But as I’m gettin’ hungry, what is upper</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In me just now is that I want my supper;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And while it’s cookin’, till they bring the tub,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I’ll sing you how a sailor lost his grub.”</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='87' id='Page_87'></span><h1>GREEN CORN AND POTATOES</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      Oh I once was in love like a sinner,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And the girl she was hahn’some and tall,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      She said she would cook me a dinner</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Of corn and potatoes and all.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='88' id='Page_88'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      In a pot she put ham and potatoes,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      One chicken, and that not too small;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      With gumbos and good red tomatoes,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And beans and some oysters and all.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      On a rock by the river she cooked it,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      When there came up a devil of a squall;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And into the water it hooked it,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      With the corn and potatoes and all.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      The ham and the beans and potatoes</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      All went in that devil of a squall,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      With the chicken and big red tomatoes,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And carrots and oysters and all.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      Then hurrah, boys! Hurrah for the Union!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And the banner which waves from the wall;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Likewise for the parsnip and onion,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Green corn and potatoes and all!</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='89' id='Page_89'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      The gumbos, the greens, and the carrots—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Likewise for the monkeys and parrots,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And corn and potatoes and all!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Here John of Baltimore spoke out: said he—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Mates, you must know I’m goin’ to leave the sea;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I’ve had a fortune left me, as I learn,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So now I guess I give the land a turn.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I am not one who a sea-life belittles,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But do confess I cannot stand the vittles:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>You may correct me if you think I’m wrong;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But first I’ll give my sentiments in song:”</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='90' id='Page_90'></span><h1>THE SAILOR’S FAREWELL</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      Hard tack and cheese, good-bye!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      For I am going home,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      To keep me warm and dry,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      No more on the seas to roam.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      Roast beef and turkey free,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And likewise chicken-pie,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Salt junk—farewell to thee!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Hard tack and cheese, good-bye!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      I’m going to the land</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Where ham and eggs they fry;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Veal cutlets are on hand;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Hard tack and cheese, good-bye!</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='91' id='Page_91'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      Roast duck doth there abound,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And mince and apple-pie</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      In stacks is lyin’ round;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Hard tack and cheese, good-bye!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      I smell the rich roast goose,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      A second slice I’ll try;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      A third I shan’t refuse;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Hard tack and cheese, good-bye!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      Planked shad is very fine;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      I’m in for living high,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      On terrapins with wine;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Hard tack and cheese, good-bye!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      I seek my native soil,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      For soft-shell crabs I sigh,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And oysters on the broil;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Hard tack and cheese, good-bye!</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='92' id='Page_92'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      Unto the canvas-back</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Myself I will apply,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And hickory nuts I’ll crack;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Of chinquapins no lack;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Hard tack and cheese, good-bye!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      The buckwheat-cake shall boom,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      The Jersey sausage fry;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Amid green corn I’ll bloom,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And hominy consume;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Hard tack and cheese, good-bye!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      I see the cranberry sauce,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      All with my mental eye;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Plum-pudding I will boss;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Hard tack and cheese, good-bye!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      Venison on chafing-dish,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      With jelly, by the bye,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='93' id='Page_93'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Coffee and fresh cat-fish;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Hard tack and cheese, good-bye!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      I’ll soon be on the strand</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Where luscious reed birds fly;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      My own—my Maryland—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Hard tack and cheese, good-bye!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>      Old Ocean with thy foam,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      For thee no more I sigh;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      For I am going home!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Hard tack and cheese, good-bye!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“That bill o’ fare,” cried Abner Chapin, loud,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Is pitched too high for this here Northern crowd:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>New England rum, I spose, seems rather meek</p> -<p class='dramaline'>’Longside peach-brandy down in Chesapeake.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I don’t de-cry your vittles, by no means,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But I prefer a pot of pork and beans</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To all the canvas-backs that ever flew,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>With soft-shell crabs and reed birds thereunto.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And all burnt offerins of fries of lambs</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Ain’t worth a dish of good Rhode Island clams;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And all your Spanish mackerel, my man,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Worth one good mackerel caught off Cape Ann!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Talkin’ of mackerel”—Here Peter Young</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Broke off this sermon with the “Mackerel Song.”</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='94' id='Page_94'></span><h1>MACKEREL SIGNS</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Mackerel clouds and mares’ tails</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  A-sailing, a-trailing,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Make lofty ships carry low sails</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  A-sailing, a-trailing away.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='95' id='Page_95'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>When the mack’rel are in the sky,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  A-sailing, a-trailing;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Soon the wind will be blowing high:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  A-sailing and trailing away.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>When the mack’rel shine in the moon,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  A-sailing, a-trailing;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Then the wind will begin to tune:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  A-sailing, a-trailing away.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Of all the wind upon the seas,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  A-sailing, a-trailing;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The best is an evening mackerel breeze:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  A-sailing and trailing away.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“A mackerel is a sailor-dish,”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Said Jones, “for ’tis a sailor fish,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>All drest, like us, in white and blue,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which I do call the prettiest hue</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which the great heaven has to show</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of all the colours in the bow:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So, if you please, I’ll sing to you</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A little song about the Blue!”</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='96' id='Page_96'></span><h1>TRUE BLUE</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>    Blue is the sea we sail on,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And blue is the sky above,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        And blue are the eyes</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        As sea or skies</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    Of the maiden whom I love:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And blue is the flag we’re under,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And blue is the coat I wear;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        But brighter the blue,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        And deeper the hue</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='97' id='Page_97'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>    In the eyes which I hold so dear!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    Bluer and brighter and sweeter,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    Fonder and fair and as true;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    Oh it’s blue love and true love for ever!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    And God bless the beautiful blue!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Now supper being over, every man</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Lighted his pipe or called for a cigar,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Lolled in his chair—and all again began</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To order “something lively” from the bar.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Jack Saltonstall, intent on keeping peace,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Waved a great South Sea club, and said, “I’m sent</p> -<p class='dramaline'>By Providence to act as your police;”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And at the table sat as President.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He was a man of pleasing dignity,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And all allowed he would a captain be,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Calming all quarrels with a word and wink;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He had hot rum and lemon for his drink.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And as he sat in state, with the club of peace</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which he had taken from the chimney-piece,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='98' id='Page_98'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>He said to us: “What tales this bat could tell</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of many a battle—many a busted shell,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And murdered victims by the surfy shore,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And cani-bally feasts when all was o’er!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Quoth Sam of Jersey, “I hev seen such things</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Among them natives, ordered by their kings,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As well might make a common pirate weep,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the old devil feel uncommon cheap:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Such derned, infernal deeds, and parst all showin’,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Pirates and slavers ain’t the worst folk goin’.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>There’s things to which the worst <span class='it'>they</span> do is slow;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I’ve lived among ’em an I ort to know.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And yet among those natives there are some</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As mild as lambs, and good and humoursome;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who never fight no more than an old hen,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Such difference there is in mortal men.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I’ll tell you now a tale, to make you sport,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of one who chanced among this gentle sort.”</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='99' id='Page_99'></span><h1>THE STORY OF SAMUEL JACKSON</h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>I’ll tell you of a sailor now, a tale that can’t be beat,</p> -<p class='line0'>His name was Samuel Jackson, and his height was seven feet;</p> -<p class='line0'>And how this man was shipwrecked in the far Pacific Isles,</p> -<p class='line0'>And of the heathen natives with their suppositious<a id='r8'/><a href='#f8' style='text-decoration:none'><sup><span style='font-size:0.9em'>[8]</span></sup></a> wiles.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now when the others cut the ship, because she was a wreck,</p> -<p class='line0'>They left this Samuel Jackson there, a-standin’ on the deck—</p> -<p class='line0'>That is, a standin’ on the deck, while sittin’ on the boom;</p> -<p class='line0'>They wouldn’t let him in the boat ’cos he took up too much room.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>When up there came a tilted wave, and like a horse it romped,</p> -<p class='line0'>It fell like mountains on the boat, and so the boat was swamped;</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='100' id='Page_100'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>And of those selfish mariners full every one was drowned,</p> -<p class='line0'>While Samuel, standing on the deck, beheld it safe and sound.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now when the sea grew soft and still, and all the gale was o’er,</p> -<p class='line0'>Sam Jackson made himself a raft, and paddled safe ashore.</p> -<p class='line0'>For fear of fatal accidents—not knowin’ what might come,</p> -<p class='line0'>He took a gun and matches, with a prudent cask of rum.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now this island where he landed proved as merry as a fife,</p> -<p class='line0'>For its indigents had ne’er beheld a white man in their life;</p> -<p class='line0'>Such incidents as rum and guns they never yet had seen,</p> -<p class='line0'>And likewise, in religion, they were awful jolly green.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>But they had a dim tradition, from their ancestors, in course,</p> -<p class='line0'>Which they had somehow derived from a very ancient source:</p> -<p class='line0'>How that a god would come to them, and set the island right;</p> -<p class='line0'>And how he should be orful tall, and likewise pearly white.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='101' id='Page_101'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now when they saw this Samuel approachin’ on his raft,</p> -<p class='line0'>The news through all the island shades was quickly telegrapht,</p> -<p class='line0'>How all their tribulations would speedily be past,</p> -<p class='line0'>’Cos the long-expected sucker was invadin’ ’em at last.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now when Sam Jackson stept ashore, as modest as you please,</p> -<p class='line0'>Nine thousand bloomin’ savages received him on their knees;</p> -<p class='line0'>He looked around in wonderment, regardin’ it as odd,</p> -<p class='line0'>Not bein’ much accustomed to be worshipped as a god.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>But he twigged the situation, and with a pleasin’ smile</p> -<p class='line0'>Stretched out his hands, a-blessin’ all the natives of the isle;</p> -<p class='line0'>He did it well, although his paws were bigger than a pan,</p> -<p class='line0'>Because he was habitual a most politeful man.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>So to return their manners, and nary-wise for fun,</p> -<p class='line0'>He raised himself with dignity, and then fired off his gun:</p> -<p class='line0'>So all allowed that he must be one of the heavenly chaps,</p> -<p class='line0'>Since he went about with lightning and dispensed with thunderclaps.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='102' id='Page_102'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>They took him on their shoulders, and he let it go for good,</p> -<p class='line0'>And went into their city in the which a temple stood,</p> -<p class='line0'>And sot him on the altar, and made him their salams,</p> -<p class='line0'>And brought him pleasant coco-nuts, with chickens, po and yams.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And from that day henceforward, in a captivating style,</p> -<p class='line0'>He relegated, as he pleased, the natives of that isle;</p> -<p class='line0'>And when an unbeliever rose—as now and then were some,</p> -<p class='line0'>He cured their irreligion with a little taste of rum.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>He settled all their business, and he did it very well,</p> -<p class='line0'>So everything went booming like a blessed wedding bell;</p> -<p class='line0'>Eleven lovely feminines attended to his wants,</p> -<p class='line0'>And a guard of honour followed him to all his usual haunts.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now what mortal men are made of, that they can’t put up with bliss,</p> -<p class='line0'>I do not know, but this I know, that Sam got tired of this;</p> -<p class='line0'>He wished that he was far away, again aboard a ship,</p> -<p class='line0'>And all he thought of—night and day—was givin’ ’em the slip.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='103' id='Page_103'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And so one night when all was still and every soul asleep,</p> -<p class='line0'>He got into a good canoe and paddled o’er the deep,</p> -<p class='line0'>But oh the row the natives made, when early in the morn</p> -<p class='line0'>They came to worship Samuel, and found their god was gone!</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Then Samuel travelled many days, but had the luck at last</p> -<p class='line0'>To meet a brig from Boston where he shipped before the mast;</p> -<p class='line0'>And he gave it as his sentiments, and no one thought it odd,</p> -<p class='line0'>He was better off as sailor than when sailing as a god.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now many years had flown away when Samuel was forgot,</p> -<p class='line0'>There came a ship for pearl shell unto that lonely spot;</p> -<p class='line0'>They went into the temple, and what do you suppose</p> -<p class='line0'>They found the natives worshipping—a suit of Samuel’s clothes!</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And this was the tradition of the people of the soil,</p> -<p class='line0'>How once a great divinity had ruled upon their isle;</p> -<p class='line0'>Four fathom tall, with eyes like fire, and such was their believin’,</p> -<p class='line0'>One night he got upon the moon—and sailed away to Heaven!</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>    “Wall, it’s a fact,” cried Doolittle, “I’ll swear</p> -<p class='line0'>    A rover ain’t contented anywhere;</p> -<p class='line0'>    But if he is a real sailor slip,</p> -<p class='line0'>    He’s happiest on the hull—aboard a ship—</p> -<p class='line0'>    For there at times he has his tallest fun,</p> -<p class='line0'>    Especially if ’tis a dandy one</p> -<p class='line0'>    Where all is fine—O mateys, that’s the thing!”</p> -<p class='line0'>    He raised his voice, and thus began to sing:</p> -<p class='line0'>    (While up and down he merrily did prance)</p> -<p class='line0'>    Unto the air of <span class='it'>Dance, the Boatman, dance!</span></p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<hr class='footnotemark'/> - -<div class='footnote'> -<table summary='footnote_8'> -<colgroup> -<col span='1' style='width: 3em;'/> -<col span='1'/> -</colgroup> -<tr><td style='vertical-align:top;'> -<div id='f8'><a href='#r8'>[8]</a></div> -</td><td> - -<p class='line'><a href='#a99'><span class='it'>Vide</span> Appendix.</a></p> - -</td></tr> -</table> -</div> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='104' id='Page_104'></span><h1>THE DANDY SHIP</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>              We’ve a dandy ship</p> -<p class='dramaline'>              And a dandy crew;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>              A dandy mate</p> -<p class='dramaline'>              And a captain too;</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='105' id='Page_105'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>              A dandy doctor</p> -<p class='dramaline'>              Who’s a dand’ old sinner,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>              And a dandy darkey</p> -<p class='dramaline'>              To cook the dinner.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'><span class='it'>Chorus.</span> It’s dance, sailors, dance!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>       It’s dance, the sailors, dance!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>       We’ll dance all night till the broad daylight,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>       And then go to sea in the mornin’!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>              We’ve a dandy lot</p> -<p class='dramaline'>              Of passengers,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>              Who live on chicken</p> -<p class='dramaline'>              And sassengers;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>              A dandy steward</p> -<p class='dramaline'>              To steer their mess;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>              Likewise a dandy—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>              Stew—ard—ess!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'><span class='it'>Chorus.</span> It’s dance, the sailors, dance!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>       It’s dance, the sailors, dance!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>       We’ll dance all night till the broad daylight,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>       And then go to sea in the mornin’!</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='106' id='Page_106'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Shiftin’ and changin’ it is understood,”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Said Abner Chapin, “never come to good.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Yes,” quoth the Stranger, “that is very true,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who goes for many gets but very few;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who travels zigzag makes full many a cross,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And rolling stones ne’er gather any moss;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The explanation of which word is funny:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In common Yiddish Hebrew, <span class='it'>moss</span> means money,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And stones are men—take Peter for a sample—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Excuse me, friends, I know of an example</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of a loose fish who changed about so long</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He first became a byword, then a song,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which I will sing you though it is distressin’,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Not that you need it—as a moral lesson.”</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='107' id='Page_107'></span><h1>JACK OF ALL TRADES</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  In all trades I’ve been a meddler,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='it'>Chorus.</span> Foolin’ my life away:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  I started life as a Yankee peddler,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>    Fiddlin’ and foolin’ away.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  Didn’t find the trade encouragin’</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  So I turned a Dey Street New York surgeon.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  Next I’d a shopman for employer,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And then a Philadelphia lawyer.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  After that I was a smuggler,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Then I travelled as a juggler.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  Next I was a collector’s dunner,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And after that an emigrant runner.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='108' id='Page_108'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  Then I laboured with some bakers,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Next, for a year, I joined the Shakers;</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  But they found me too defective,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  So for a while I turned detective.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  Then I tried my hand as teacher,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And next became a Blue Light preacher.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  Then I was one of the ——’s editors,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  But had to cut to dodge my creditors.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  Faking oranges I tried next on,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Then for a while I dug as a sexton.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  For seven trips I was a slaver,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Then, as a barber, I turned shaver.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  After that I worked as pirate,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  For all the naval sharps to fire at.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='109' id='Page_109'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  Then nigger minstrel, then a sorter,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Off an’ on, shorthand reporter.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  Then I took to readin’ lectures,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And after that to paintin’ pictures.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  Next as drummer I did chaffer,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And then I worked as photográpher.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  Then for a while I run a dairy,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And next I turned apothecäry.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  Then stuck pla-cards as a billist,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And so became a patent pill-ist.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  Finding all other trades deceiving,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  For a time I took to thieving.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>  Now I’m a Pacific purser,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And don’t think I can do any worser,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Foolin’ my life away.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Yes, that’s the way,” said Jones, “that some go squandrin’,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which minds me that we too must now be wand’rin’:”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“And I,” quoth Brown, “must be aboard and early;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But first of all I’m going to see my girley;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>She’d blow a storm if I should fail to meet her:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>She is, I vum, an awful breezy creeter,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A gale in petticoats, and one that’s stinging;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I’ll sing a song on that—to end our singing.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>You’ve known the <span class='it'>girl-wind</span>, boys—I never doubt it;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And here’s a ballad which is all about it:”</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='110' id='Page_110'></span><h1>THE GIRL-WIND</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>A hurly-burly, hurl-wind</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Is hurrying o’er the waves;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Before it runs the Girl-wind</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Fresh up from the Ocean caves.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='111' id='Page_111'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>She’s the little puff who goes before</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To tell of the blow that’s coming,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>She sounds like a hive when winters o’er</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And you hear the bees a-humming.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>It’s all very well when a young girl can</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Come tripping along with laughter;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But not so nice when you see the old man</p> -<p class='dramaline'>With a big stick coming after.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>It’s just the same with Everything</p> -<p class='dramaline'>When pleasure runs before us,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>You drink your wine and think it’s fine:—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Then comes the tavern scoreus!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>So we went forth upon our different ways—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And these were wide—to many a distant shore:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I to my home to put in form these lays,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And think upon this strange wild sailor-lore,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In which, to him who reads with generous heart,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='112' id='Page_112'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>As in a museum we seem to see</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The strangest relics gathered far apart—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Rude, coarse, and rough, yet touched with poetry;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Like shells and gems and coins of olden time,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And worthless stones, all hardened in a mass,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Such as I’ve seen, fished from the ocean’s slime,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Such are these men and melodies—alas!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>They all are of an age half past away.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Where is the boatswain now?—who hears his call?</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And where these sailing packets once so gay?</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I to myself do seem traditional</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And all my youth a legend—so to say—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Yet well or ill I’ve done the best I could</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To make in truthful song a little show</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of quaint old tales, now little understood,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of the North End of Boston—long ago.</p> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<p class='line' style='text-align:center;margin-top:10em;margin-bottom:10em;font-size:1.2em;'><span class='gesp'>LAYS OF THE LAND</span></p> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='115' id='Page_115'></span><h1>THE RISE AND FALL OF GLORYVILLE</h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Where the rockiest Rocky Mountains interview the scornful skies,</p> -<p class='line0'>And the sager kinds of sage-bush in the middle distance rise,</p> -<p class='line0'>There the cultured eye descending from the dreamlike azure hill,</p> -<p class='line0'>Lights in an æsthetic foreground on the town of Gloryville.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>It was in the Middle Ages—’bout the end of Sixty-eight,</p> -<p class='line0'>So I found the hoary legend written on an ancient slate—</p> -<p class='line0'>That one Ezry Jenks prospecting, when he reached this blooming spot,</p> -<p class='line0'>Thus uplifted to his pardner: “Glory! Moses, let us squat!”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Thus rebounded Moses Adams: “Glory was the foremost word</p> -<p class='line0'>Which in the untrammelled silence of this wilderness was heard,</p> -<p class='line0'>And I arnswer, dimly feelin’ like a prophet, grand and slow,</p> -<p class='line0'>‘Glory kinder sounds like Money—up to glory let her go!’ ”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='116' id='Page_116'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And this casual conversation in the year of Sixty-eight,</p> -<p class='line0'>As if by an inspiration he recorded on a slate,</p> -<p class='line0'>Which ’twas said in later ages—six weeks after—used to hang</p> -<p class='line0'>As a curiositary in the principal shebang.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>On the spot that very evening they perceived a beauteous gleam</p> -<p class='line0'>From a grain of shining metal in a wild auriferous stream:</p> -<p class='line0'>As their eyes remarked the symptom thus their tongues responsive spoke:</p> -<p class='line0'>“In this undiscovered section there <span class='it'>is</span> pay-dirt, sure as smoke!”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Little boots or little shoes it to inform you how, like crows</p> -<p class='line0'>To a carcase, folks came flying, and the town of Glory rose;</p> -<p class='line0'>As in country schools the urchins cast each one a spittle-ball,</p> -<p class='line0'>Till at last a monstrous paper fungus gathers on the wall.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>’Long the road they built their cabins, in a vis-a-visual way,</p> -<p class='line0'>As if each man to his neighbour kind of wished to have his say;</p> -<p class='line0'>But ’twas also said that like two rows of teeth the houses grew,</p> -<p class='line0'>Threatening uncommon danger to the stranger passing through.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='117' id='Page_117'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Yes, for like the note of freedom sounded on Hibernia’s harp,</p> -<p class='line0'>Every person in the party was a most uncommon sharp;</p> -<p class='line0'>And it got to be a saying that from such an ornery cuss</p> -<p class='line0'>As a regular Gloryvillin—oh, good Law deliver us!</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>First of all the pay-dirt vanished or became uncommon rare,</p> -<p class='line0'>Then they wandered more than ever to the Cross and from the Square,</p> -<p class='line0'>For when all resources failed them nary copper did they mind,</p> -<p class='line0'>For they had fine-answering Genius, which is never left behind.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>So they got incopperated as a city fair and grand,</p> -<p class='line0'>Spreading memoirs of their splendour over many a distant land,</p> -<p class='line0'>Mind I say in <span class='it'>distant</span> places—people near them knew</p> -<p class='line0'>Into what unearthly beauty the great town of Glory grew.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Then they sent an ex-tra Governor over seas and far beyond,</p> -<p class='line0'>Even unto distant Holland, loaded up with many a bond,</p> -<p class='line0'>Splendidly engraved in London, having just the proper touch</p> -<p class='line0'>Quite imposing—rather—for they did impose upon the Dutch.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='118' id='Page_118'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And with every bond the Governor had a picture to bestow</p> -<p class='line0'>Of the town of Gloryville a-bathing in the sunset’s glow;</p> -<p class='line0'>This they had performed in Paris by an artist full of cheek,</p> -<p class='line0'>Who was told to draw a city <span class='it'>comme il faut dans l’Amérique</span>.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>The ideas of this artist were idead from long ago,</p> -<p class='line0'>Out of scenery in an opera, “Cortez in the Mexico.”</p> -<p class='line0'>Therefore all his work expanded with expensive fallacies:</p> -<p class='line0'>Castles, towered walls, pavilions, real-estately palaces.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>In the foreground lofty palm-trees, as if full of soaring love,</p> -<p class='line0'>Bore up coco-nuts and monkeys to the smiling heaven above;</p> -<p class='line0'>Jet-black Indian chieftains, at their feet too lovely girls were sighin,</p> -<p class='line0'>With an elephant beyond them—here and there a casual lion.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>You have seen in <span class='it'>Pilgrim’s Progress</span> the Celestial City stand</p> -<p class='line0'>Like a hub in half a cart-wheel raying light o’er all the land.</p> -<p class='line0'>Well, in <span class='it'>that</span>, it is the felloes of the wheel which cause the blaze;</p> -<p class='line0'>So in Gloryville the fellows were the ones who made the rays.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='119' id='Page_119'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>When these views were well matured the Governor went to Amsterdam,</p> -<p class='line0'>Where to Mynheer Schmuel Ganef first of all he made his slam:</p> -<p class='line0'>At a glance each “saw” the other—at a glance they went aside,</p> -<p class='line0'>And without a word of bother soon the plan was cut and dried.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>For one hundred thousand dollars then the Governor at will</p> -<p class='line0'>Gave away the full fee-simple of the town of Gloryville.</p> -<p class='line0'>“Dat for you,” said Schmuel Ganef, “is, I dink, not much too much,</p> -<p class='line0'>But I makesh de shtock a million ven I sells him to the Dutch.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And the secret of his selling was upon the artful plan</p> -<p class='line0'>Known to the police in Paris as the <span class='it'>vol Américain</span>,</p> -<p class='line0'>Whereby he who does the spilling manages the man who’s spilt</p> -<p class='line0'>Very nicely, for he makes him an accomplice in the guilt.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Even as of old great sages managed the Parisian <span class='it'>fonds</span>,</p> -<p class='line0'>So in Amsterdam Heer Ganef peddled out his Glory bonds;</p> -<p class='line0'>And to all he slyly whispered, “I will let you in de first</p> -<p class='line0'>On de ground-floor—sell out quickly—for you know de ding may burst.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='120' id='Page_120'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Woe to you who live by thieving, though you be of rogues the chief,</p> -<p class='line0'>Even the greatest will discover in due time his master-thief.</p> -<p class='line0'>True, he “let them in,” and truly on the very bottom floor,</p> -<p class='line0'>But was with the Gloryvillins in the cellar long before.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And to tell you how the biters all got bitten were in vain;</p> -<p class='line0'>Here the Governor leaves my story, and he comes not in again.</p> -<p class='line0'>I will pass to later ages, when all Gloryville, you bet,</p> -<p class='line0'>Found itself extreme encumbered with an extra booming debt.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Those who sold the bonds had vanished, those who hadn’t held the town,</p> -<p class='line0'>Little knew they of its glory over seas or great renown.</p> -<p class='line0'>They had nothing of the fruitage, though, alas! they held the plant,</p> -<p class='line0'>Nothing saw they of the picture, save, indeed, the Elephant.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>He who had been in the background now came trampling to the fore;</p> -<p class='line0'>Terribly he trampled on them, very awful was his roar!</p> -<p class='line0'>Very dreadful is the silence when no human voice responds</p> -<p class='line0'>To a legal requisition for the interest of our bonds.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='121' id='Page_121'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>But ere long a shrewd reflection unto Moses Adams came—</p> -<p class='line0'>“Darned ef I’m a-gwine to suffer fur another party’s game;</p> -<p class='line0'>Wings is given to muskeeters—like muskeeters men can fly;</p> -<p class='line0'>Ef a strawberry-vine can travel with its roots, then why not I?”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Silently, in secret, Moses to himself a plan reveals,</p> -<p class='line0'>Got a three-inch plank and sawed it into surreptitious wheels,</p> -<p class='line0'>And when night in solemn mystery had succeeded unto day,</p> -<p class='line0'>Put his hut and things on axles, and quite lonely drove away</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>To a place just over yonder by the old Coyote Road;</p> -<p class='line0'>There, no more a man of glory, Moses Adams dropped his load,</p> -<p class='line0'>And when resting from his labour and refreshing from his jug,</p> -<p class='line0'>Having known a town called Julesberg, called his shanty Splendourbug.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>On the following morn as usual in due time arose the sun,</p> -<p class='line0'>And the Gloryvillins followed his example one by one;</p> -<p class='line0'>While he smiled upon the city, as on other things beneath,</p> -<p class='line0'>’Twas observed one snag was wanting in the double row of teeth.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='122' id='Page_122'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Little said the Left-behinders, but they seemed to take the hint,</p> -<p class='line0'>And each man surveyed his neighbour with a shrewd and genial squint;</p> -<p class='line0'>All day long there was a sound of sawing timber up and down,</p> -<p class='line0'>Seven more houses in the morning were a-wanting in the town.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And before the week departed all the town departed too,</p> -<p class='line0'>Just like the swallows in the autumn to another soil they flew;</p> -<p class='line0'>Only that, unlike the swallows which we hear of in the song,</p> -<p class='line0'>When the Gloryvillins squandered each one took his nest along.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>All except one ancient darkey, obstinate and blind and lame,</p> -<p class='line0'>Who for want of wheels and credit could not follow up the game;</p> -<p class='line0'>So the others had to leave him, which they did without regret,</p> -<p class='line0'>Left him there without a copper—just one million deep in debt.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>If you seek them you may find them comfortable as in a rug,</p> -<p class='line0'>All of them at length established in the town of Splendourbug;</p> -<p class='line0'>And the driver to the traveller as by Gloryville he goes,</p> -<p class='line0'>Points him out, an ancient darkey who a million dollars owes.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='123' id='Page_123'></span><h1>IN THE WRONG BOX</h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          When Eagle Davis died,</p> -<p class='line0'>          I was sittin’ by his side,</p> -<p class='line0'>’Twas in Boston, Massachusetts; and he said to me, “Old boy!</p> -<p class='line0'>          This climate—as you see—</p> -<p class='line0'>          Isn’t quite the size for me;</p> -<p class='line0'>Dead or livin’, take me back if you can to Ellanoy!”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          So I took him by the hand,</p> -<p class='line0'>          But he’d just run out his sand,</p> -<p class='line0'>And his breath was gone for ever—before a word would come;</p> -<p class='line0'>          Then I and other three</p> -<p class='line0'>          Together did agree</p> -<p class='line0'>In a party for to travel and to funeralise him home.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='124' id='Page_124'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          But Goshen Wheeler said,</p> -<p class='line0'>          As he looked upon the dead,</p> -<p class='line0'>Weepin’ mildly, “Just remark my observation what I say:</p> -<p class='line0'>          That deceased, now glori<span class='it'>ous</span>,</p> -<p class='line0'>          Was in life a curious cuss,</p> -<p class='line0'>And somethin’ unexpectable will happen on the way.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          “Frum the time that he was born</p> -<p class='line0'>          Till he doubled round the Horn</p> -<p class='line0'>Of Death, all his measurements and pleasurements were odd;</p> -<p class='line0'>          And odd his line will be,</p> -<p class='line0'>          As you’re registered to see,</p> -<p class='line0'>Till his walnut case is underneath the gravel and the sod.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          It was bitter winter weather</p> -<p class='line0'>          When we all four got together</p> -<p class='line0'>At the depôt with the coffin in an extra packin’ box;</p> -<p class='line0'>          And a friend with good intent,</p> -<p class='line0'>          A cask of whisky sent,</p> -<p class='line0'>Just to keep our boats from wrackin’, as they say, upon the rocks.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='125' id='Page_125'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          Then a ticket agent he</p> -<p class='line0'>          Seein’ mournin’, says to me,</p> -<p class='line0'>“Can I get the cards, or help you in your trouble, Mister Brown?”</p> -<p class='line0'>          So with solemn words I said,</p> -<p class='line0'>          As I pinted to the dead,</p> -<p class='line0'>“There you’ll find, I guess, our pilgrimage and shrine is written down.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          Then all night beneath the stars</p> -<p class='line0'>          We sat grimly in the cars,</p> -<p class='line0'>Sometimes sleepin’, sometimes thinkin’, sometimes drinkin’, till the dawn;</p> -<p class='line0'>          And each man went in his turn</p> -<p class='line0'>          To the baggage-crate to learn</p> -<p class='line0'>If the box was keepin’ time with us, and how ’twas gettin’ on.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          Then all day beneath the sun</p> -<p class='line0'>          Still the train went rushin’ on,</p> -<p class='line0'>While we still kep’ as silent as grave-stones as we went:</p> -<p class='line0'>          Playing euchre solemnly,</p> -<p class='line0'>          Which we kinder did agree</p> -<p class='line0'>With the stakes to build for Davis a decent monu<span class='it'>ment</span>.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='126' id='Page_126'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          ’Bout once in every mile</p> -<p class='line0'>          Some mourner took a smile,</p> -<p class='line0'>But we did no other smilin’ as we travelled day or night;</p> -<p class='line0'>          And once in every hour</p> -<p class='line0'>          Some one went into the bower,</p> -<p class='line0'>And reported the receptacle of Davis was all right.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          But when four days were past,</p> -<p class='line0'>          Which we still were flyin’ fast,</p> -<p class='line0'>Goshen Wheeler, very solemn, with expression to us cries,</p> -<p class='line0'>          “Where we are it should be freezin’</p> -<p class='line0'>          And our very breaths a-squeezin’,</p> -<p class='line0'>Whereas the air is hot enough to bake persimmon pies.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          “Don’t you smell a rich perfume</p> -<p class='line0'>          As of summer flowers in bloom?</p> -<p class='line0'>’Tis magnolias a-peddled by yon humble coloured boy:</p> -<p class='line0'>          Now, I never yet did know</p> -<p class='line0'>          That the sweet mag-no-li-o</p> -<p class='line0'>Grew in winter in the latitude of Northern Ellanoy.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='127' id='Page_127'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          Then said Ebenezer Dotton,</p> -<p class='line0'>          “I behold a field of cotton,</p> -<p class='line0'>And I wonder how in thunder such a veg’table got here.</p> -<p class='line0'>          I don’t know how we’re fixed,</p> -<p class='line0'>          But the climate’s getting mixed,</p> -<p class='line0'>And it’s spilin’ very rapidly with warmness as I fear.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          Spoke Mister Aaron Bland,</p> -<p class='line0'>          “I perceive on yonder land</p> -<p class='line0'>That sugar-cane is bloomin’, correctly, all in rows,</p> -<p class='line0'>          And not to make allusions</p> -<p class='line0'>          To Republican delusions,</p> -<p class='line0'>But the niggers air a-gettin’ all around as thick as crows.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          Still we sat there mighty glum</p> -<p class='line0'>          Till along a fellow come.</p> -<p class='line0'>And I says, says I, “Conductor, now tell us what it means,</p> -<p class='line0'>          Just inform us where we be?”</p> -<p class='line0'>          “Wall, now, gentlemen,” said he,</p> -<p class='line0'>“I reckon we air comin’ to the spot called New Or-leéns!”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='128' id='Page_128'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          So we rushed all in a row,</p> -<p class='line0'>          When we got to the depôt,</p> -<p class='line0'>To the baggage-crate, a-wonderin’ at these transformation scenes;</p> -<p class='line0'>          And we found out unexpected</p> -<p class='line0'>          That the box had been directed</p> -<p class='line0'>Not unto Ellanoy, but to a man in New Or-leéns!</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          Without carin’ if I’d catch it,</p> -<p class='line0'>          I straightway took a hatchet,</p> -<p class='line0'>And busted off the cover without openin’ my mouth;</p> -<p class='line0'>          And found a grand pianner</p> -<p class='line0'>          Which we’d followed for our banner</p> -<p class='line0'>All the way from Massachusetts unto the sunny South!</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          Then I said, “I rather guess</p> -<p class='line0'>          I can see into this mess,</p> -<p class='line0'>And explain the startlin’ error which has given you such shocks.</p> -<p class='line0'>          When that Boston fellow, he</p> -<p class='line0'>          Asked the route I’d take of me,</p> -<p class='line0'>I pinted, inadvertional, unto another box.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='129' id='Page_129'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>          Now Eagle Davis lies</p> -<p class='line0'>          Beneath the Northern skies,</p> -<p class='line0'>Where the snow is on the pine-tree while we are with the palm;</p> -<p class='line0'>          But I reckon if his spirit</p> -<p class='line0'>          Should ever come to hear it,</p> -<p class='line0'>He’ll be perfectly contented with the story in this psalm.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='130' id='Page_130'></span><h1>ZION JERSEY BOGGS<br/> <span class='sub-head'><span class='sc'>a legend of philadelphia</span></span></h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Before the telegraphic wires</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Had ever run from pole to pole,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or telegirls sent telegrams</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  To cheer the weary waiting soul;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>When all things went about as slow</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  As terrapins could run on clogs,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Was played a game</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      By one whose name</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Was Mister Zion Jersey Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>A Philadelphia newspaper</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Was printed then on Chestnut Street,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='131' id='Page_131'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>While ’crost the way, just opposite,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  There lived a sufferin’ rival sheet,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Whose editors could get no news,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Which made ’em cross as starvin’ hogs;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      The first, I guess,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Had an express</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Which kind o’ b’longed to Mister Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>But in those days the only news</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Which reëly opened readers’ eyes,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Was of the New York lottery,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And who by luck had got a prize.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>All other news, for all they cared,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Might travel to the orful dogs;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      And this they got</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      All piping hot—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Though surreptitiously—from Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>For of the crew no party knew</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  That Boggs did any horses own.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='132' id='Page_132'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>All sportin’ amputations he</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Did most concussively disown;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For he had serious subtle aims,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  His wheels were full of secret cogs,—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Well oiled and slow,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      Yet sure to go,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Was Mister Zion Jersey Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>One mornin’ he, mysteriously,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  An’ smilin’ quite ironical,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Spoke to the other editor,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  The man who run the <span class='it'>Chronicle:</span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>“The <span class='it'>Ledger</span> has a hoss express</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  By which your lottery news he flogs.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      “Yes, that is true,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>      But what’s to do?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Replied the man to Mister Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Then Mister Boggs let down his brows,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And with a long deep knowing wink,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='133' id='Page_133'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Said, “Hosses travel mighty fast,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  But ther air faster things, I think;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>An’ kerrier-pidgings, as you know,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Kin find their way thro’ storm and fogs:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Them air the bugs</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        To fly like slugs!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Said Mister Zion Jersey Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“And in my glorious natyve land,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Which lies acrost the Delaware,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I hev a lot upon the spot,—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Just twenty dollars fur a pair.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>These gentle insects air the things</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  To make the <span class='it'>Ledger</span> squeal like hogs;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        That is the game</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        To hit ’em lame!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Said Mister Zion Jersey Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>The editor looked back again,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And saw him better on his wink.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='134' id='Page_134'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>“It is the crisis of our fate—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Say, Boggs, what is your style of drink?</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Step to the bar of Congress Hall;—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  We’ll try your poultry on, by Gogs!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        An’ let ’em fly</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Tarnation high!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  “Amen!” said Zion Jersey Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>The pidgins came, the pidgins flew,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  They lit upon the lofty wall;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>They made their five an’ ninety miles</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  In just about no time at all.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Compared to them, the <span class='it'>Ledger</span> team</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Went just as slow as haulin’ logs.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        But all was mum,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Shut close an’ dum,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  By the request of Mister Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Then on the follerin’ Monday he,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Lookin’ profounder as he prowled,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='135' id='Page_135'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>This son of sin an’ mystery,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Into the <span class='it'>Ledger</span> orfice owled.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“An’ oh! to think,” he sadly groaned,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  “That earth should bear setch skalliwogs!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Setch all-fired snakes,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        And no mistakes!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Said Mister Zion Jersey Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Why, what is up?” asked Mr. Swain;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  “It seems you’ve had some awful shoves.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“The <span class='it'>Chronicle</span>,” his agent cried,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  “Has went an’ bin an’ bought some doves!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Them traitors, wretches, swindlers, cheats,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Hev smashed us up like polywogs.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        They’ve knocked, I guess,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Our hoss express</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Higher than any kite,” said Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Have you no plan?” asked Mister Swain,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  “To keep the fellows off our walks?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='136' id='Page_136'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>“I <span class='it'>hev</span>,” said Boggs, as grim as death;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  “What do you think of pidging-horks?</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For in my glorious natyve land,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Acrost the river, ’mong the frogs,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        I hev a lot</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        All sharply sot</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  To eat them pidgings up,” said Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“They are the chosen birds of wrath,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  They fly like arrers through the air,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or angels sent by orful Death—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Jist fifty dollars fur a pair;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>An’ cheap to keep, because, you see,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Upon the enemy they progs.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        “Well, try it on,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        And now begone!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Said Mister Swain to Mister Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>The autumn morn was bright and fair,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Fresh as a rose with recent rain.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='137' id='Page_137'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>The pidgins tortled through the air,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  But nary one came home again.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Some feathers dropped in Chestnut Street,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Some bills and claws among the logs:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Wipin’ a tear,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        “I greatly fear</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  That all’s not right,” said Mr. Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Into the <span class='it'>Chronicle</span> he went,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Twice as mysterious as before,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“And <span class='it'>hev</span> you heard the orful news?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  He whispered as he shet the door.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Oh, I hev come to tell a tale</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Of crime, which all creation flogs,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Of wretchery</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        And treachery</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  That bangs tarnation sin,” said Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Them <span class='it'>Ledger</span> fellers with their tricks,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Hev slopped clean over crime’s dark cup.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='138' id='Page_138'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>They’ve bin an’ bought some pidging-horks,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And they hev <span class='it'>et</span> our pidgings up.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Oh, whut is life wuth livin’ fur</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  When editors behave like hogs?</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        An’ ragin’ crime</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Makes double time;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Oh, darn setch villany!” cried Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“But hark! bee-hold, to-morrer, thou</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  In deep revenge may dry your tears;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I hev a plan, which, you’ll allow,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Beats all-git-out when it eppears.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The ragin’ eagle of the North,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  The bird which all creation flogs,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Will cause them horks</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        To walk ther chalks,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  An’ give us grand revenge,” said Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Them glorious birds of liberty,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Them symbols of our country’s fame,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='139' id='Page_139'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Wild, sarsy, furious, and free,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Indeliably rowdy game;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>They shall revenge them gentile doves,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Our harmless messengers, by Gogs!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        In which the horks</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Hev stuck ther forks,”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Cried Mister Zion Jersey Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“For in my glorious natyve land</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Acrost the river, down below,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I hev a farm, and in the barn</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Six captyve eagles in a row:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>One hundred dollars fur a pair;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Fetch out the flimsies frum your togs</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        An’ up on high</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        <span class='it'>I’ll</span> make ’em fly,”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Said Mister Zion Jersey Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>But this same editor had heard</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Some hint or rumour, faint or dim,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='140' id='Page_140'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>How Mister Boggs, it was averred,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Was coming Paddy over him.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>An earlier tale of soapy deeds</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Then gave his memory startling jogs,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        And full of wrath</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Right in his path</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  He went for Zion Jersey Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Horses and pidgins—pidgin-horks”—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  That was enough to raise his Dutch:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He saw it all—and also saw</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  The eagle—“Just one bird too much.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Too mad to mind his shootin’-iron,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And throw good powder to the dogs,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        He grabbed his chair,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        And then and there</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Corrected Zion Jersey Boggs.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>After long years had rolled away,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And Morse’s telegraph came in,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='141' id='Page_141'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Still on the facing rival roofs</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Two grey old cages could be seen,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And young reporters o’er their drinks</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Would tell each other—jolly dogs—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        Of ancient time</p> -<p class='dramaline'>        What in this rhyme</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  I’ve told of Zion Jersey Boggs.</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='142' id='Page_142'></span><h1>THE BALLAD OF THE GREEN OLD MAN</h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>It was a balmeous day in May, when spring was springing high</p> -<p class='line0'>And all amid the buttercups the bees did butterfly;</p> -<p class='line0'>While the butterflies were being enraptured in the flowers,</p> -<p class='line0'>And winsome frogs were singing soft morals to the showers.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Green were the emerald grasses which grew upon the plain,</p> -<p class='line0'>And green too were the verdant boughs which rippled in the rain,</p> -<p class='line0'>Far green likewise the apple hue which clad the distant hill,</p> -<p class='line0'>But at the station sat a man who looked far greener still.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>An ancient man, a boy-like man, a person mild and meek,</p> -<p class='line0'>A being who had little tongue, and nary bit of cheek.</p> -<p class='line0'>And while upon him pleasant-like I saw the ladies look,</p> -<p class='line0'>He sat a-counting money in a brownsome pocket-book.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='143' id='Page_143'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Then to him a policeman spoke: “Unless you feel too proud,</p> -<p class='line0'>You’d better stow away that cash while you’re in this here crowd;</p> -<p class='line0'>There’s many a chap about this spot who’d clean you out like ten.”</p> -<p class='line0'>“And can it be,” exclaimed the man, “there are such wicked men?</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“Then I will put my greenbacks up all in my pocket-book,</p> -<p class='line0'>And keep it buttoned very tight, and at the button look.”</p> -<p class='line0'>He said it with a simple tone, and gave a simple smile—</p> -<p class='line0'>You never saw a half-grown shad one-half so void of guile.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And the bumble-bees kept bumbling away among the flowers,</p> -<p class='line0'>While distant frogs were frogging amid the summer showers,</p> -<p class='line0'>And the tree-toads were tree-toadying in accents sharp or flat—</p> -<p class='line0'>All nature seemed a-naturing as there the old man sat.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Then up and down the platform promiscuous he strayed,</p> -<p class='line0'>Amid the waiting passengers he took his lemonade,</p> -<p class='line0'>A-making little kind remarks unto them all at sight,</p> -<p class='line0'>Until he met two travellers who looked cosmopolite.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='144' id='Page_144'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now even as the old was green, this pair were darkly-brown;</p> -<p class='line0'>They seemed to be of that degree which sports about the town.</p> -<p class='line0'>Amid terrestrial mice, I ween, their destiny was Cat;</p> -<p class='line0'>If ever men were gonoffs,<a id='r9'/><a href='#f9' style='text-decoration:none'><sup><span style='font-size:0.9em'>[9]</span></sup></a> I should say these two were that.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And they had watched that old man well with interested look,</p> -<p class='line0'>And gazed him counting greenbacks in that brownsome pocket-book;</p> -<p class='line0'>And the elder softly warbled with benevolential phiz,</p> -<p class='line0'>“Green peas has come to market, and the veg’tables is riz.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Yet still across the heavenly sky the clouds went clouding on,</p> -<p class='line0'>The rush upon the gliding brook kept rushing all alone,</p> -<p class='line0'>While the ducks upon the water were a-ducking just the same,</p> -<p class='line0'>And every mortal human man kept on his little game.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And the old man to the strangers very affable let slip</p> -<p class='line0'>How that zealousy policeman had given him the tip,</p> -<p class='line0'>And how his cash was buttoned in his pocket dark and dim,</p> -<p class='line0'>And how he guessed no man alive on earth could gammon him.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='145' id='Page_145'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>In ardent conversation ere long the three were steeped,</p> -<p class='line0'>And in that good man’s confidence the younger party deeped.</p> -<p class='line0'>The p’liceman, as he shadowed them, exclaimed in blooming rage,</p> -<p class='line0'>“They’re stuffin’ of that duck, I guess, and leavin’ out the sage.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>He saw the game distinctly, and inspected how it took,</p> -<p class='line0'>And watched the reappearance of that brownsome pocket-book,</p> -<p class='line0'>And how that futile ancient, ere he buttoned up his coat,</p> -<p class='line0'>Had interchanged, obliging-like, a greensome coloured note.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And how they parted tenderly, and how the happy twain</p> -<p class='line0'>Went out into the Infinite by taking of the train;</p> -<p class='line0'>Then up the blue policeman came, and said, “My ancient son,</p> -<p class='line0'>Now you have gone and did it; say what you have been and done?”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And unto him the good old man replied with childish glee,</p> -<p class='line0'>“They were as nice a two young men as I did ever see;</p> -<p class='line0'>But they were in such misery their story made me cry;</p> -<p class='line0'>So I lent ’em twenty dollars—which they’ll pay me by-and-bye.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='146' id='Page_146'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“But as I had no twenty, we also did arrange,</p> -<p class='line0'>They got from me a fifty bill, and gimme thirty change;</p> -<p class='line0'>But they will send that fifty back, and by to-morrow’s train——”</p> -<p class='line0'>“That note,” out cried the constable, “you’ll never see again.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“And that,” exclaimed the sweet old man, “I hope I never may,</p> -<p class='line0'>Because I do not care a cuss how far it keeps away;</p> -<p class='line0'>For if I’m a judge of money, and I <span class='it'>reether</span> think I am,</p> -<p class='line0'>The one I shoved was never worth a continental dam.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“They hev wandered with their sorrers into the sunny South,</p> -<p class='line0'>They hev got uncommon swallows and an extry lot of mouth.</p> -<p class='line0'>In the next train to the North’ard I expect to widely roam,</p> -<p class='line0'>And if any come inquirin’, jist say I ain’t at home.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>The p’liceman lifted up his glance unto the sunny skies,</p> -<p class='line0'>I s’pose the light was fervent, for a tear were in his eyes,</p> -<p class='line0'>And said, “If in your travels a hat store you should see,</p> -<p class='line0'>Just buy yourself a beaver tile and charge that tile to me.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='147' id='Page_147'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>While the robins were a-robbing acrost the meadow gay,</p> -<p class='line0'>And the pigeons still a-pigeoning among the gleam of May,</p> -<p class='line0'>All out of doors kept out of doors as suchlike only can,</p> -<p class='line0'>A-singing of an endless hymn about that good old man.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<hr class='footnotemark'/> - -<div class='footnote'> -<table summary='footnote_9'> -<colgroup> -<col span='1' style='width: 3em;'/> -<col span='1'/> -</colgroup> -<tr><td style='vertical-align:top;'> -<div id='f9'><a href='#r9'>[9]</a></div> -</td><td> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='it'>Gonoff</span>, a Scriptural term for a Member of the Legislature, or suchlike.</p> - -</td></tr> -</table> -</div> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='148' id='Page_148'></span><h1>CARRYING COALS</h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>In the gloomsome abysses where darkness is kept,</p> -<p class='line0'>And the spirit of silence for ages has slept,</p> -<p class='line0'>  In the great shaft of Pottsville, way down in the hole,</p> -<p class='line0'>  There came seven parties, all dealers in coal;</p> -<p class='line0'>But they never had been in that chasm before,</p> -<p class='line0'>Nor had the sensation of darkness all o’er,</p> -<p class='line0'>  Which so greatly expandeth the soul.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And one of ’em said, “It’s an awful delight</p> -<p class='line0'>To be infinite deep into no end of night,</p> -<p class='line0'>  Where the heavenly sunshine can’t manage to spring,—</p> -<p class='line0'>  And, talking of that, I’ve a notion, by Jing!</p> -<p class='line0'>Let we ourselves mine out some coal lumps to-day</p> -<p class='line0'>To show to the folks,—which I think, by the way,</p> -<p class='line0'>  Would be a poetical thing.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='149' id='Page_149'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>So they filled up their pockets, untried by a doubt,</p> -<p class='line0'>And in the hotel they unveiled ’em all out;</p> -<p class='line0'>  But their glances grew strange as they turned o’er the weight,</p> -<p class='line0'>  Till one of them shouted, “By thunder, it’s slate!”</p> -<p class='line0'>Yet the youngest among them had dealered in coal,</p> -<p class='line0'>And unto that traffic surrendered his soul,</p> -<p class='line0'>  Since the Anno Eighteen Forty-eight.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>For all of man’s wisdom is only a dream,</p> -<p class='line0'>Which passeth away like a plate of ice-cream,</p> -<p class='line0'>  And the best of experience fails, as we mark,</p> -<p class='line0'>  If you go for to dig when you’re all in the dark;</p> -<p class='line0'>For there’s always a moral inside of a tale,</p> -<p class='line0'>And big things in little things always prevail</p> -<p class='line0'>  As sure as there’s wood in the bark.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='150' id='Page_150'></span><h1>CAREY, OF CARSON</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>The night-mist dim and darkling,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  As o’er the roads we pass,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Lies in the morning sparkling</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  As dewdrops on the grass.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>E’en so the deeds of darkness,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Which come like midnight dews,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Appear as sparkling items</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Next morning in the news.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Away in Carson City,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Far in the Silver Land,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>There lives one Justice Carey,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  A man of head and hand;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And as upon his table</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  The Judge a-smoking sat</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='151' id='Page_151'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>There rowdied in a rougher</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Who wore a gallows hat.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>He looked upon the Justice,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  But Justice did not budge</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Until the younger warbled,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  “Say—don’t you know me, Judge?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“I think,” said Carey meekly,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  “Your face full well I know,—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I sent you up for stealing</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  A horse a year ago.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Ay, that is just the hair-pin</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  I am, and that’s my line;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And here is twenty dollars</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  I’ve brought to pay the fine.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“You owe no fine,” said Carey,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  “Your punishment is o’er.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Not yet,” replied the rover;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  “I’ve come to have some more.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='152' id='Page_152'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Fust-rate assault and batt’ry</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  I’m goin’ to commit,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And you’re the mournful victim</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  That I intend to hit,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And give you such a scrampin’</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  As never was, nohow;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And so, to save the lawin’,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  I guess I’ll settle now.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Up rose the Court in splendour;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  “Young man, your start is fair,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Sail in, my son, sail over,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And we will call it square!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Go in upon your chances,—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Perhaps you may not miss;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I like to see young heroes</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Ambitionin’ like this.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>The young one at the older</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Went in with all his heft,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='153' id='Page_153'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>And, like a flyin’ boulder,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  At once let out his left;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The Court, in haste, ducked under</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Its head uncommon spry,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Then lifted the intruder</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  With a puncher in the eye,—</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>A regular right-hander;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And like a cannon-ball,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The young man, when percussioned</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Went over on the wall.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In just about a second,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  The Court, with all its vim,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Like squash-vines o’er a meadow,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Went climbing over him.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Yea, as the pumpkin clambers</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Above an Indian grave,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or as the Mississippi</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Inunders with its wave,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='154' id='Page_154'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>And merrily slops over</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  A town in happy sport,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>E’en so that man was clambered</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  All over by the Court.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And in about a minute</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  That party was so raw,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He would have seemed a stranger</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Unto his dearest squaw;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Till he was soft and tender,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  This morsel once so tough,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And then, in sad surrender,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  He moaned aloud, “Enough!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>He rose; and Justice Carey</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Said to him ere he went,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“I do not think the fightin’</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  You did was worth a cent.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I charge for time two dollars,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  As lawyers should, ’tis plain;</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='155' id='Page_155'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>The balance of the twenty</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  I give you back again.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“I like to be obligin’</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  To folks with all my powers,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So when you next want fightin’</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Don’t come in office hours;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I only make my charges</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  For what’s in legal time,—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Drop in, my son, this evenin’,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And I’ll not charge a dime.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>The young man took the guerdon,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  As he had ta’en the scars;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Then took himself awayward</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  To the ’Ginia City cars.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>’Tis glorious when heroes</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Go in to right their wrongs;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But if you’re only hair-pins,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Oh, then beware of tongs!</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='156' id='Page_156'></span><h1>JOSEPHI IN BENICIA</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>There was a man who spent his mortal life</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A-prisoning until there came a war;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And with the war there came an enemy,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And with the enemy came dynamite,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And with the dynamite the engineers</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Histed that prison-house, and with it all</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That was therein. And when the man came down</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And lay a-dying, round the chaplain lit,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And asked him “What of life?” and he replied,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“To me this life has been a blasted cell.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And so he died like any other man,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And thus it is things work among mankind.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>The great Josephi—the piano lord—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>When in the land of California</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='157' id='Page_157'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Was duly published for Benicia,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Yet never once put in; and then arose</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Dame Rumour with a hundred thousand tongues,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And people said that he had bust his wires,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And had neuralgia in his sounding-board,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the dyspepsia in his pedal joint,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the stricnosis in his upper keys,—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Yet all was false, and I will tell you why.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The day before he was to have gone in</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Unto his glory in Benicia,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>There came a visitor whose sun-grilled face</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And grand prize pumpkin air had all the style</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of a Maud Muller’s father; and this man,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Being shown in, remarked, “I s’pose you air</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Mister Joseephee?” To him in reply</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The small piano-smasher nodded “Yes.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And thus the agriculturist went on:—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“I’m from Beneesh, I am, and I belong</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To the Town Council—that is my posish.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Down here disposin’ of my barley, and</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I thort I’d call and see yer, being as</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='158' id='Page_158'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Yer comin’ down ter-morrer fur to play.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Ja, dot is so,” replied the music man.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Ye see, yer comin’ to a stranger town,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And so I thort I’d let yer hev some pints</p> -<p class='dramaline'>About the programme. We’re a-payin’ yer</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A pot o’ money, and of course yer want</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To suit the ordience.” “Vell, vot you like,”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Exclaimed the great musician. “I can blay</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Chopin, Beethoven, Liszt—ja! all de crate</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Gombosers, and I gifes you vot you shoose.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“I never heerd them tunes,” replied his guest.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Do yer know ‘Nancy Lee’?” “Not I, bei Gott!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Nor ‘Mary Ann’?” “Nein” (<span class='it'>very haughtily</span>).</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“The ‘Spanish Dona’—the ‘Monastery Bells’?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Gott’s dammerwetter! Himmelspotzen—<span class='sc'>nein</span>!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Wall, now, whar did ye learn? My darter Sue</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Goes to Miss Lynch’s, and she knows ’em all,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>An’ plays ’em all by heart right straight along.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I never thought her no great shakes, and yet</p> -<p class='dramaline'>She’s clean ahead of you.” A gloomy pause</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Ensued, and two long glares. Then he set on,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='159' id='Page_159'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>“What kind o’ dancing music are ye gwine</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To fetch along? for that’s the heavy jerk.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“<span class='it'>Tantz musik!</span>” Oh, the horror of the voice</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of great Josephi when he heard these words.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Yes, certinly. Ain’t ye a-goin’ to play</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Fur dancing arter supper? Wot d’ye s’pose</p> -<p class='dramaline'>We’re gwine to pay yer fur?” (Here came the squall.)</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Go to der Teufel mit your tantz musik!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Dere-to your tauter also. Sapperment!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Verflucht sei deine Seele—do you dink</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I coom to blay fur caddle? I ton’t go</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Unto Benicia. Dell your veller-bigs</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Your tauter blays in my blace—in de blace</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of Herr Josephi—do you oonderstand,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>You hundert tousend plasted <span class='it'>Schweinigel</span>!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And in the rustic’s face he slammed the door.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>He did not play in fair Benicia,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And in that town he is not popular;</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='160' id='Page_160'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>And in its leading circles seven out</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of eight regard him as a German fraud,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who cannot even play “My Mary Ann.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And thus it is they think he is a sell,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And thus it is things work among mankind.</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='161' id='Page_161'></span><h1>THE STORY OF A LIE</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Who asks an ape to throw a coco-nut</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Should take it not amiss if it be thrown</p> -<p class='dramaline'>On his own head, as echo answers song.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>There was a man named Jesse, who was called</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The greatest liar in Connecticut.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For there are giants among the Brobdingnags.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>It was a burning day, and William Hoop</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Sat in the shade, when Jess came riding by.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>When wolves run past your door-step, let them run.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='162' id='Page_162'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>But William cried, “Stop for a moment, Jess,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And tell us a big lie.” Jesse liked it not.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Ne’er ask a hangman how to tie a noose.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>But hastily and sadly he replied,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“This is no time for lying now; oh, woe!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A wanton widow may wear darkest weeds.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Your Uncle Sol died very suddenly</p> -<p class='dramaline'>An hour ago, and you would have me lie!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who weaveth nets is often caught in them.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“And I am riding for the coroner,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And for a coffin. William, learn from this</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='it'>Never while living ask a man to lie</span>.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Then William ran in and told his wife,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And he and she and all the family</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Burst into tears. The thistle soon bears thorns.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='163' id='Page_163'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And in his waggon, leaving everything,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>They posted off and on, four miles away.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The eagle hastens at the eaglet’s cry.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And when arrived they found the family</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In the large kitchen, but in ne’er a grief.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>It pains a man at times to miss his pain.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>There Uncle Sol was buried—to the eyes,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In a great water-melon, lush and red.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Life’s sweetest things are water after all:</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Which rises in a mist, and comes again</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As rainy tears. And William almost wept</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For rage, because he had no cause to cry.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>But after this he never did entreat</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Another man to tell a lie to him.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Burnt child seeks not a second time the fire.</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='164' id='Page_164'></span><h1>THE LEGEND OF SAINT ANTHONY</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>The seek-no-further face of loveliness,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The perfect form of fawn-like springfulness,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Rich as a bonanza just unbound:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Catherine Van Peyster, of Fifth Avenue.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>She lived a year in Europe—but for aye</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In all the hearts of all who met her there;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And then her pa allowed her boundless cash,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which she laid out in glorious works of art.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Such as the dream-like dresses made by Worth,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And heavenly hats by Virot, and all things</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Refined, æsthetic, swell, and classical;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Yea, even a picture—she bought everything.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='165' id='Page_165'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>’Tis true it was a picture of herself,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And when she ordered it she simply said,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“I know that I am very beautiful,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>My mirror tells me that—distinctively;</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“But I am also very clever too,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For I am of a clever family,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Papa and sisters all are awful smart;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Now you must make it somehow sparkle out</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“In what you paint. And as for me I guess</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I’ll show you how to fix it—wait a bit.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Ain’t there a saint they call Saint Catherine?</p> -<p class='dramaline'>One of my beaux, I think, once called me that.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“<span class='it'>Si, Illustrissima</span>,” the artist said,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Dere is a Santa Catarina, who</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Is beautiful most of the oder sants,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Vitch giusto suit so lovely mad as you!</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='166' id='Page_166'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“And she do always hold opon a vheel.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“I see!” cried Miss Van Peyster—“just the thing,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The wheel of fortune—and the loveliest saint;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That’s me exactly. What a perfect fit!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And so ’twas painted, and the painted pair,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Saint Catherine and Miss Catherine, went across</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Unto New York; and many people came</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To call and worship—or to make believe.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And with the rest came Mr. Anthony,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A blooming broker, and a mighty man,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who did not think small brewings of himself,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Albeit his studies had been very small,</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And very few i’ the heap. His face and form</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Were greasiness and grossness well combined,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>With sneeriness and nearness in the eyes;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He seemed a kind of coarsest Capuchin.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='167' id='Page_167'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And much he did admire the quaint conceit</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of being taken as a holy saint,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And said, “I’d like to try that thing myself.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>How could a feller fix it——Catherine?”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Easy enough,” replied the beautiful:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“You’ve only got to send your photograph</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Out to my man in Florence, and to say,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>‘<span class='it'>Vous peignez moi comme le Saint Anthony</span>.’</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“I’ll write it for you if you have a card,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And he will fix it for you <span class='it'>comme il faut</span>.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That very hour the heavy shaver wrote,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And sent the order for his portraiture.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And in due time ’twas done—and further on</p> -<p class='dramaline'>’Twas in the Custom House—and thence ’twas sent</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To the Spring Exhibition in New York,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>There was no time to send it to “the House.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='168' id='Page_168'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And Anthony himself beheld it not</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Till it had hung a week upon “the walls,”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And all the newspapers had served it up,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And all the world had merry made withal.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Yea, he <span class='it'>was</span> in it—clad in dirty rags,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A vile abomination. In his hand</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A monstrous rosary. The Sunday Press</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Said ’twas a rope of onions, meant to feed</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>The monstrous hog which filled the canvas up,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So vast in its proportions that it seemed</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As Anthony were waiting on the hog,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And not the hog upon Saint Anthony.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>In it and in for it. Just as the Saint</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of Padua is painted, with his pig,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Only a little more so. And thus ends</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The tale of the great hog and Anthony.</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='169' id='Page_169'></span><h1>A RUSSIAN LYRIC<br/> <span class='sub-head'><span class='sc'>Air</span>—“<span class='it'>Denkst du daran mein tapfre Lagienka.</span>”</span></h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“<span class='sc'>Saltokoff Skupchirofsky</span>,” said the ruler</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Of Russia to his captain of the guard,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“I will retire; the night is growing cooler</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Have all the troops been posted in the yard?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“They have, my liege, and in the tower o’er you</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  The watchman, with an opera-glass, afar</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Looks out to see that no one comes to bore you:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  <span class='it'>Bogu Tsarachnie!</span> God protect the Tsar!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“What have you done with him who came this morning,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And wanted me to buy a lightning-rod?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“He sleeps beneath the Neva, as a warning</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  To others like him, not as yet in quod.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='170' id='Page_170'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>“The girl who bored us for a contribution</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  To send her blessed clergyman afar?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“She’s strangled by the Seventh Resolution:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  <span class='it'>Bogu Tsarachnie!</span> God protect the Tsar!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“And where is he who gave us the conniptions,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  That cheeky man from the United States,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who came unto my bedside for subscriptions</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  To—what was it?—the ‘Life of Sergeant Bates’?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Upon a special train that man is flying</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Unto Siberia in a third-class car;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Thou badest him ‘dry up!’ and he is drying:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  <span class='it'>Bogu Tsarachnie!</span> God protect the Tsar!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“And where is he who bored us for insurance</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  On life or fire, who down the chimney came?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“My liege, beneath our feet in deepest durance</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  He pays with penance for his little game.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“And, after him, the pedlar who came plungin’</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Into the parlour, smoking a cigar?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='171' id='Page_171'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Ask of the vipers in the palace dungeon:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  <span class='it'>Bogu Tsarachnie!</span> God protect the Tsar!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“And that young man who always kept a-saying,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  ‘That is the kind of hair-pin that I am’?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“My liege, the strychnine in his vitals playing</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  May tell you how I stopped that kind of flam.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“And he who at this day is still repeating,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  ‘What, never, never?’ ” “In a butt of tar</p> -<p class='dramaline'>We coopered <span class='it'>him</span>. His heart’s no longer beating:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  <span class='it'>Bogu Tsarachnie!</span> God protect the Tsar!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“And where is he who on the imperial fences</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Inscribed <span class='it'>Pop’s Bitters</span>, and <span class='it'>Take Fooler’s Pills</span>?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“My lord, his medicines were no defences,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  In Hades he atones for earthly ills.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“And that confounded nuisance of a Scotch Guard</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Who played the bagpipes up and down the car?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“My lord, the imperial headsman wears his watch-guard:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  <span class='it'>Bogu Tsarachnie!</span> God protect the Tsar!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='172' id='Page_172'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Captain, ’tis well. Now telegraph to London</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  That every Nihilist has had his dose,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And that a fresh conspiracy is undone,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And keep the gum-drop, corn-ball peddlers close</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who spread sedition in the trains to ’stress me;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And keep the gates of anarchy ajar;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So may Saint Feoderskidobry bless thee!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  <span class='it'>Bogu Tsarachnie!</span> God protect the Tsar!”</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='173' id='Page_173'></span><h1>MELODRAMNATION</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Now Mr. Gallagher is satisfied.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So says the Boston <span class='it'>Post</span>. The facts are these:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He is the chief of a theatric club,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And as he deems that he can melodram,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He melodrammed for it a mighty piece</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of thundering incidents and awful scenes,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which called for just nine actors. And they all</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Declared that each had got the worst and curst</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of all the parts, and that ’twas written thus</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To boom the fame of selfish Gallagher;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So the first night they came upon the boards,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>With hearts like hornets and with souls like snakes</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And feeling like old pizen, all agog</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To be revenged upon the common foe,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who was to act the hero. <span class='it'>Act the first</span>:</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='174' id='Page_174'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>The hero and his mother meet to part,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And on her shoulders and o’er all her bust</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The parent had put pins by papersful,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Till she was like a frightful porcupine;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And when she pressed her darling to her breast,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The pins <span class='it'>en masse</span> entered his very soul,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And pricked his nose, and ran into his cheeks,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So that he howled; but his mamma held on,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Easing her heart with rapturous revenge</p> -<p class='dramaline'>While agonizing his. In the next act</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He was on shipboard, and ’twas in the plot</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That he should be knocked down and cuffed about</p> -<p class='dramaline'>By a most cruel captain; and, God knows,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The captain played that part most perfectly,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Since in the start he went for Gallagher</p> -<p class='dramaline'>With a belaying-pin, and laid him out</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='it'>Secundum artem</span>, and then let him up,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Only to let into him twice as hot,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>’Mid rapturous hurrahs. In the next act</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The hero led the crew to mutiny,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And Gallagher was glorious; but just then</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='175' id='Page_175'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Some one let down the trap on which he stood,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And there he was, up to his waist in stage,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Unable to get up or to go down,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And thus they kept him in captivity</p> -<p class='dramaline'>While all the audience guyed him. When he strove</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To climb they lowered him, and when he sought</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To dodge beneath they highered him again;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So he went up and down like Erie stock</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Until the scene was shifted. In the next</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He fought the villain of the play, and this</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Was Mr. Hencoop Smith, a stalwart rogue,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Extremely high on muscle, and the way</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He lathered Gallagher about the stage</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Was Awful Gardener. And when Smith should cry,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Forgive me—I am crushed!” and Gallagher</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Replied, “I’ll have your life!” the hero lay</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Under the table, while his adversary</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Bemauled him with a chair-leg. It was o’er,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And Gallagher, all black and blue, went home</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To plotter out revenge. On the next night</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The piece was adverred to be played again,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='176' id='Page_176'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>And Gallagher sent round a messenger,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who said he was too ill to play his part,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But he would send a substitute. He did—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A giant-like ferocious prize-fighter,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Under another name. And how he played!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He squeezed the mother into raving fits,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And jerked her wig away by accident,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And threw the cruel captain down the trap,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And larruped all the actors; and when Smith</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Came on to fight, he took him by the heels</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And mopped the stage with him until ’twas clean,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Then hurled him through the flat. All was a wreck:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And in the front seat sat the Gallagher</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And laughed until he cried. Revenge is sweet!</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='177' id='Page_177'></span><h1>A TALE OF IDAHO</h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>When they had finished the ethnology,</p> -<p class='line0'>And polished up the climate and the crops,</p> -<p class='line0'>And glorified the different kinds of bugs,</p> -<p class='line0'>And told in turn their lies about the snakes,</p> -<p class='line0'>And fish and deer and things, of Idaho,</p> -<p class='line0'>A pensive cuss in spectacles inquired,</p> -<p class='line0'>“All this is well enough; now how about</p> -<p class='line0'>Your educational facilities?</p> -<p class='line0'>And let me see in dots the time they go.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“And that’s the only thing we really lack,”</p> -<p class='line0'>Replied the Ancient, with a silvery sigh;</p> -<p class='line0'>“We do defect in <span class='it'>that</span> ostensibly.</p> -<p class='line0'>We have the schools, but then we cannot git</p> -<p class='line0'>The folks to run ’em, or who will remain</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='178' id='Page_178'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>Adjacent to ’em, for they will not keep.”</p> -<p class='line0'>“How!—do they <span class='it'>die</span>?” “Wall, some on ’em expired,</p> -<p class='line0'>Though Idaho ain’t an expirin’ State;</p> -<p class='line0'>But I will tell you just the time they go.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“We had a fine young fellow from the East;</p> -<p class='line0'>He licked the boys, and also kissed the gals,</p> -<p class='line0'>And was all round uncommon popular,</p> -<p class='line0'>Bein’ likewise an awful fightin’ man,</p> -<p class='line0'>And there he <span class='it'>did</span> slop over. For one day</p> -<p class='line0'>He met a grizzly bar upon the prowl,</p> -<p class='line0'>And whistled to it, and the grizzly <span class='it'>come</span>;</p> -<p class='line0'>But when he went he carried by express</p> -<p class='line0'>All of that fine young man inside of him;</p> -<p class='line0'>And that is just about the time they go.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“We had another from Connecticut:</p> -<p class='line0'>A widder run him down, and married him</p> -<p class='line0'>Inside the very school-house where he taught,</p> -<p class='line0'>Just as an Injun cooks a terrapin</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='179' id='Page_179'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>In its own shell, or as a lovely deer</p> -<p class='line0'>Is sometimes aboriginally biled</p> -<p class='line0'>Inside of its own skin, for that poor man</p> -<p class='line0'>Has been in bilin’ water ever sense:</p> -<p class='line0'>They say she makes it solemn hot for him.</p> -<p class='line0'>And that is just about the time they go.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“The third was well enough, but he was lame;</p> -<p class='line0'>I needn’t tell you how <span class='it'>that</span> one got spiled;</p> -<p class='line0'>For sense he couldn’t run, one day, of course,</p> -<p class='line0'>The Injuns overtook him, and the way</p> -<p class='line0'>They treated him was pretty nigh as bad</p> -<p class='line0'>As if they had been widders, and that man</p> -<p class='line0'>Their lawful spouse. They also made it hot,</p> -<p class='line0'>Because they took and briled him at the stake.</p> -<p class='line0'>And that is just about the time they go.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“Then we tried women-folks to keep the school.</p> -<p class='line0'>We writ for one. She came; and as she lit</p> -<p class='line0'>Down from the stage, a man proposed to her</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='180' id='Page_180'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>And was accepted, and she married him</p> -<p class='line0'>That very night; in fact, within an hour</p> -<p class='line0'>He gin a party, and we had a dance;</p> -<p class='line0'>But Education suffered all the same,</p> -<p class='line0'>As she declined to teach, bein’ inclined</p> -<p class='line0'>To conjugate—excuse my little joke;</p> -<p class='line0'>But that is just about the time they go.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“The second—wall, <span class='it'>I took</span> the second one</p> -<p class='line0'>About the middle of the week she come;</p> -<p class='line0'>But telegraphed unto the Institute,</p> -<p class='line0'>‘Send on some more; keep sending of ’em on.’</p> -<p class='line0'>And so they kept a-comin’, but they kep’</p> -<p class='line0'>A-going speedier than they arrove,</p> -<p class='line0'>For the third lady was abducted by</p> -<p class='line0'>A highwayman before she got to us—</p> -<p class='line0'>She took it awful kindly, I believe.</p> -<p class='line0'>And that is just about the time they go.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“But why,” exclaimed the wondering traveller,</p> -<p class='line0'>“Don’t you obtain a scareful, ugly one—</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='181' id='Page_181'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>Some hideous old faggot, just like that</p> -<p class='line0'>Tremendous terror with the lantern-jaws</p> -<p class='line0'>By yonder ticket-window? She would keep.”</p> -<p class='line0'>“Alas! how strange,” replied the Ancient Man;</p> -<p class='line0'>“How is it that you people from the East</p> -<p class='line0'>Will never understand us pioneers?</p> -<p class='line0'>That woman is my wife—the very one</p> -<p class='line0'>I cut away from school; and she’s by far</p> -<p class='line0'>The handsomest there was in all the drove.</p> -<p class='line0'>For that is just about the time they go.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='182' id='Page_182'></span><h1>A CALIFORNIAN ROMANCE</h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Know’st thou the burning lay of Dante’s own,</p> -<p class='line0'>“<span class='it'>Nix mangiare é il diavolo!</span></p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>Ma peggior la donna?</span>” that’s to say,</p> -<p class='line0'>“ ’Tis hard to be hard up, but harder still</p> -<p class='line0'>To get ahead of women.” Never much,</p> -<p class='line0'>While in Night’s cushion stars like pin-heads shine.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Oh, listen to me, for the tale I tell</p> -<p class='line0'>Is of Chicago, and the latest out,</p> -<p class='line0'>And by the noble <span class='it'>Tribune</span> novelist.</p> -<p class='line0'>“Say, do you mean it, honest Injun, now?”</p> -<p class='line0'>Said Vivian O’Riley to his sire.</p> -<p class='line0'>“And faith I do,” the earnest sire replied:</p> -<p class='line0'>“Marry this girl if so ye choose, me son,</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='183' id='Page_183'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>But—if ye do—the divil a ha’penny</p> -<p class='line0'>Of all me fortune will yees ever see,</p> -<p class='line0'>While in Night’s cushion stars like pin-hids shine.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Two hours have passed, and so have eight or ten</p> -<p class='line0'>Slow-rolling tramway cars, until there comes</p> -<p class='line0'>The one which Vivian wants, and soon it lands</p> -<p class='line0'>The lover at the door of Pericles</p> -<p class='line0'>O’Rourke, the father of <span class='it'>bellissima</span>,</p> -<p class='line0'>The Lady Ethelberta. Lo, she sits</p> -<p class='line0'>In her boudoir (the high-toned word for “room”),</p> -<p class='line0'>Casting her soul in reverie o’er the trees,</p> -<p class='line0'>While in Night’s cushion stars like pin-heads shine.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“I have bad news for you, my utmost own,”</p> -<p class='line0'>Said Vivian in sad tones unto his love.</p> -<p class='line0'>“Cusses and crocuses upon my luck!</p> -<p class='line0'>And damns and daffodils on everything!”</p> -<p class='line0'>And as he spoke there came into his face</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='184' id='Page_184'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>A grey old scaly look which seemed to say,</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>Don’t bluff or you’ll be called</span>. “My dad and I</p> -<p class='line0'>Have had a round about, and he has dis—</p> -<p class='line0'>Sis—sis—inherited me; and I have</p> -<p class='line0'>Been given the g.-b. on your account,</p> -<p class='line0'>My be—b—beau—tiful. And I am now</p> -<p class='line0'>A beg—egg—eggar for you, Bertie dear!</p> -<p class='line0'>While in Night’s cushion stars like pin-heads shine.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Her soft dusk eyes grew wide and serious.</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line0'>“Yes,” he continued, “I am regular poor,</p> -<p class='line0'>Poor as a busted Indian, and of course</p> -<p class='line0'>It follows in the logic of our life</p> -<p class='line0'>That I must give you up. I cannot ask</p> -<p class='line0'>One in the golden glory of events</p> -<p class='line0'>To come and share a fate which runs upon</p> -<p class='line0'>A thousand annual dollars. Ne’er a case.</p> -<p class='line0'>While in Night’s cushion stars like pin-heads shine.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='185' id='Page_185'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>She looked at him with an incarnadine,</p> -<p class='line0'>Rich, passionate, scarlet-sanguine crimson flush</p> -<p class='line0'>Surging into her cheeks. If it had been</p> -<p class='line0'>A <span class='it'>full</span>, ’tis probable that Vivian</p> -<p class='line0'>Would have gone under; but a <span class='it'>flush</span></p> -<p class='line0'>Could never scare him or his similar,</p> -<p class='line0'>While in Night’s cushion stars like pin-heads shine.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“Oh, Vivian!” she gurgled, like a dove,</p> -<p class='line0'>“Oh, do you think I will let up on you?</p> -<p class='line0'>And do you deem I would go back upon</p> -<p class='line0'>The note I signed, and run to protest?—no—</p> -<p class='line0'>Not while the snowy paper of my truth</p> -<p class='line0'>Is quiréd by the young-eyed cherubim,</p> -<p class='line0'>And in Night’s cushion stars like pin-heads shine.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Three months or ninety days went by, and then</p> -<p class='line0'>Upon a golden Californian</p> -<p class='line0'>December afternoon, with azure skies</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='186' id='Page_186'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>Like those of summer as they are produced</p> -<p class='line0'>In less expensive countries, men beheld</p> -<p class='line0'>A diamondaine wedding at the house</p> -<p class='line0'>Of Ethelberta’s sire. As Vivian</p> -<p class='line0'>And his fair bride sat in the car—ri—age</p> -<p class='line0'>Which bore them to the station, ever on</p> -<p class='line0'>She gazed upon him like a Lamia</p> -<p class='line0'>With a strange look, which one might call, in fact,</p> -<p class='line0'>A weirdly precious smile. He gazed at her.</p> -<p class='line0'>“And so you would not leave me, love?” he cooed,</p> -<p class='line0'>“Even when you thought me poor?” And she replied,</p> -<p class='line0'>“Never, my precious one. I learned lang syne</p> -<p class='line0'>That when a sucker once drops off the hook</p> -<p class='line0'>It never bites again. And well you know</p> -<p class='line0'>That you were on the point of dropping off,</p> -<p class='line0'>And so your pa and I put up the job</p> -<p class='line0'>So as to land you, dear—as faith we did—</p> -<p class='line0'>A little quicker. Oh, men, men, men, men!</p> -<p class='line0'>If ye thus round, girls <span class='it'>will</span> get square with you,</p> -<p class='line0'>While in Night’s cushion stars like pin-heads shine.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='187' id='Page_187'></span><h1>THE STORY OF MR. SCROPER, ARCHITECT</h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Yes, I’ll tell you how it happened—that, too, with all due respect</p> -<p class='line0'>To the memory of Scroper, late departed architect—</p> -<p class='line0'>How it came that he departed so abruptly in the train;</p> -<p class='line0'>Why it was he’s been so late, too, in returnin’ back again.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now some folks are born to greatness, some achieve it, as you’ve read;</p> -<p class='line0'>And some justly stand and take it as it dollops on their head;</p> -<p class='line0'>But in this sublime Republic, where it’s help and help again,</p> -<p class='line0'>We all generally make it in cahoot with other men.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Scroper was a fine young fellow, of a monstrous enterprise;</p> -<p class='line0'>Likewise really ambitious, for he was so bound to rise,</p> -<p class='line0'>And he left no stone unturned—nor a log—he rolled ’em all,</p> -<p class='line0'>Till at last he got the contract for our new great City Hall.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='188' id='Page_188'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now, of all our mortal actors here upon this earthly stage,</p> -<p class='line0'>The contractors have the hardest parts to play, I will engage;</p> -<p class='line0'>Specially in bran-new cities, just between the knead and bake,</p> -<p class='line0'>And where all the population are severely on the make.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>What between the Common Council, and the more uncommon sort,</p> -<p class='line0'>Politicians, Press, and preachers, Scroper fell uncommon short.</p> -<p class='line0'>All of such as come a-plummin’ when a puddin’s to be had;</p> -<p class='line0'>All against his best contractin’ counteractin’ mighty bad.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Therefore when this edificial had got up his edifice,</p> -<p class='line0'>All who’d not been edifishing with him soon got up a hiss;</p> -<p class='line0'>Said the stuff upon the buildin’ was the worst that could be had,</p> -<p class='line0'>Likewise called the architexture architechnically bad.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>So it came one solemn evenin’ in a Presbyterian rain</p> -<p class='line0'>Mr. Scroper all in silence gently took the Northern train;</p> -<p class='line0'>All he left was one small message to a friend who shared his home,—</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>When the darned affair blows over, telegraph for me to come</span>.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='189' id='Page_189'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>So he sat one summer mornin’, far away in Montreal,</p> -<p class='line0'>Musin’ on his recent patrons, while at heart he darned ’em all,</p> -<p class='line0'>When there came a little letter datin’ from his recent home,—</p> -<p class='line0'>“<span class='it'>All the thing is quite blown over, back again we bid you come</span>.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“<span class='it'>For last night we had a tempest,—while the mighty thunder rang,</span></p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>Up there came a real guster, which blew down the whole shebang.</span></p> -<p class='line0'>(<span class='it'>Shebang</span>’s a word from Hebrew, meanin’ Seven, sayeth Krupp,</p> -<p class='line0'>And applied to any shanty where they play at seven-up.)</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“<span class='it'>Truly it was well blown over all to splinders in the night,</span></p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>And the winds of heaven are blowing o’er the ruins as I write.</span>”</p> -<p class='line0'>Gentlemen, the story’s over. It would last for many a day</p> -<p class='line0'>If it told of every buildin’ built upon the swindlin’ lay.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='190' id='Page_190'></span><h1>THAT INTERESTIN’ BOY</h1></div> - -<div class='literal-container' style=''><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.9em;'>HE sat upon the window-sill and jingled ninety cents. There came</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.9em;'>along another boy, who said, “How are you, Pence? You’re goin’ out</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.9em;'>a-Christmassin’, I guess, among the Dutch, to buy some gifts.” The</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.9em;'>other spoke: “No—not exactly much. I am in luck, this year, I am.</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.9em;'>I haven’t any bills. My sister’s sick, and can’t expect no presents but</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.9em;'>her pills. My brother Ben’s in Canada, away upon the wing. Of</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.9em;'>course, you know he can’t suppose I’ll buy him anything. My mother</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.9em;'>pulled my hair, last night, until she made me squall. Of course she</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.9em;'>knows that she’s gone up for anything at all.” “But there’s your father,”</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.9em;'>said his friend. “Well,—yes—I really thought that I was stuck on the</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.9em;'>old man, and that he had me caught, and I was kinder looking round</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.9em;'>to hunt him up a pipe; but then, this very mornin’ he hit me such a</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.9em;'>wipe! That fixed his Christmas goose for him, and took away his joy.</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.9em;'>Now all this money’s goin’ to a good and clever boy, to buy him lots of</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.9em;'>pea-nuts and candy, I’ll engage—with caramels; and that good boy is</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.9em;'>just my size and age.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='191' id='Page_191'></span><h1>MISS MILES, THE TELEGRAPH GIRL</h1></div> - -<div class='literal-container' style=''><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:.8em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>Thy heart is like some icy lake,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>  On whose cold brink I stand;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>Oh, buckle on my spirit’s skate,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>  And take me by the hand!</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>And lead, thou living saint, the way</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>  To where the ice is thin,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>That it may break beneath my feet,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>  And let a lover in.</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='text-align:right;margin-right:0em;font-size:.8em;'><span class='it'>Spiritualistic Poetry.</span></p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Since Soul first basked in Passion’s sun,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  I always ran to seed</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In seeking One who’d gone and done</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Some great heroic deed;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And deemed I’d find Life’s Earnest Truth</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  In Gloriana Clarke,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Whose eyes were like two carriage lamps</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Advancing through the dark.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='192' id='Page_192'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>But as the rose of morning fades</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Before the fire of noon,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or sparrows yield in sylvan glades</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  To mocking-birds in June,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>My Gloriana’s stock went down—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Its wheat all turned to chaff—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>When I got in with Mary Miles,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Who ran the telegraph.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Her brow betokened serious life;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  I knew my final queen;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A soul divine in gaiter-boots,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  A Dream in crinoline.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Her parasol a glory seemed</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Around a vivid saint,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The whole one spirit-photograph</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Illumed with heavenly paint.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And thus she lifted up her voice,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  That mission-mantled maid;</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='193' id='Page_193'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>And thus she spoke with golden grace,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  And sacredly she said—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A-pointing at me all the time</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  With that same parasol,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The light which gleams from silent lands</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Around her seemed to fall—</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“You’ve told of great and holy deeds—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  I s’pose they all are true—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But in our telegraphic line</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  We’ve some adventures, too;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And though I do not like to boast</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Of what I ever done,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='it'>One</span> thing my Moral Consciousness</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Declares was Number One.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Last Fall I was in Tennessee</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  A-travelling might and main,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>When all at once the engine broke—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  They couldn’t run the train;</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='194' id='Page_194'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>And if another train should come</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  ’Twould rather make us scream.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>List to the glorious deed she did,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  This angel of my dream.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“I saw a telegraphic line</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Was running by our <span class='it'>rout</span>,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Though not a house or a machine</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Was anywhere about.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the conductor said, said he,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  With his wild eyes of light:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>‘Miss Miles, if we’d a battery,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  I’d fix this scrape all right.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“ ‘I’d send ’em down a telegram</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Some twenty miles below,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And ask for help.’ I looked at him—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  ‘I’ll fix the business, Joe.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Is there a pair of nippers here?</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  If so, those nippers bring;</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='195' id='Page_195'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>And if you can’t, a sharp-edged file</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Would be a heaven-sent thing.’ ”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Unshadowed girl! I see the dodge,”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  I cried in rapturous joy;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“And didst thou climb the post thyself?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Said she, “I did, my boy.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A higher law of moral truth</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Gave courage to my soul;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I did not show my garters once</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  In going up the pole.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“No poet ever felt such thrills</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  In touching of his lyre</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As I did when I found there came</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  A message through the wire.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That wire I cut, and ’tween my teeth</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  I held it—ay, with pride—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And with my tongue the current clicked</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  To the wire on t’other side.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='196' id='Page_196'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“On one side came the message in</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  From some man in New York:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>‘<span class='it'>Buy if you can, at ninety-five,</span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>  <span class='it'>Five thousand sides of pork.</span>’</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And this same electricity</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  I changed as in a flash:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>‘<span class='it'>Send down an engine right away,</span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>  <span class='it'>Or we shall go to smash.</span>’</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“The engine came, and all were saved—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Yet life is but a Dream.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I live—thou livest in a cloud:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  We are not what we seem.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Still craving for the Infinite</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  In Time’s ideal lodge,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I grasped a truth—yet after all</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  ’Twas but an earthly dodge.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>I gazed upon that spirit grand,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Upon my knees I sank,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='197' id='Page_197'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>And from mine eyes the burning sand</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  The scalding tear-drops drank.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Then soft she smiled: “If deeds like this</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Can yield such victory,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And I am in your line, my love,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Then, love, I yield to thee.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Ho, maidens of Vienna’s show!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Ho, matrons of Lucerne!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Look out for us next summer, when</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  We give your shop a turn.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I have won my soul’s ideal,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  I have booked her for a wife;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the Fancy and the Real</p> -<p class='dramaline'>  Are united in my life.</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='198' id='Page_198'></span><h1>AN AMERICAN COCK-TALE</h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'><span class='sc'>Professor Luther Cranmer Bangs</span></p> -<p class='line0'>Has travelled in Europe more than a year,</p> -<p class='line0'>And no one need ever be troubled with pangs</p> -<p class='line0'>At telling him aught which he thought was severe;</p> -<p class='line0'>For there’s ne’er a Yankee of any size,</p> -<p class='line0'>No matter how sharply he chaffs or slangs,</p> -<p class='line0'>That can boast he ever has taken a rise</p> -<p class='line0'>On Professor Luther Cranmer Bangs.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>He</span> was the man whom Dr. Snayle</p> -<p class='line0'>Read a lecture to on a morning call—</p> -<p class='line0'>Read it clear through from bill to tail;</p> -<p class='line0'>And Bangs like Old Piety bore it all.</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='199' id='Page_199'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>Said Snayle, when the sheets were all up-read,</p> -<p class='line0'>“I’m a-going with this to Boston, you know”—</p> -<p class='line0'>“I’m glad to hear it,” his listener said:</p> -<p class='line0'>“I always <span class='it'>did</span> hate those Bostonians so!”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Well, last week on a City Atlas ’bus</p> -<p class='line0'>The Professor and I went riding down,</p> -<p class='line0'>While the driver politely gave to us</p> -<p class='line0'>Opinions on things about the town.</p> -<p class='line0'>And finding my friend was “prone to receive,”</p> -<p class='line0'>And came from the Western land afar,</p> -<p class='line0'>He told him just what one <span class='it'>ought</span> to believe</p> -<p class='line0'>In politics, piety, love, and war.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Then glancing at Bangs, who sat to leeward,</p> -<p class='line0'>Looking as mild as cambric tea,</p> -<p class='line0'>He said: “I once ’ad—but I soon got cured</p> -<p class='line0'>Of—a wish to go to Amerikee.</p> -<p class='line0'>I was tired of always a-drivin’ these cusses,</p> -<p class='line0'>And so I thought I would like to range”——</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='200' id='Page_200'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>“You were right,” said Bangs. “In our Yankee ’busses</p> -<p class='line0'>It’s the <span class='it'>driver</span> who takes (and keeps) the change!”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Sharp glanced the driver at Bangs; then said,</p> -<p class='line0'>“What scared me of goin’ was this, d’ye see,—</p> -<p class='line0'>I’d a friend in New York, whose letters I read;</p> -<p class='line0'>And he wrote: In the whole of your country,</p> -<p class='line0'>He ’ad looked the biggest graveyards through,</p> -<p class='line0'>Looked ’em through with uncommon keer,</p> -<p class='line0'>But never ’ad come to a single view</p> -<p class='line0'>Of a cove<a id='r10'/><a href='#f10' style='text-decoration:none'><sup><span style='font-size:0.9em'>[10]</span></sup></a> as wos aged fifty year.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“And as this is the case in hevery State,</p> -<p class='line0'>I think there’s nothink on hearth for cure’n</p> -<p class='line0'>A chap hof a fancy to hemigrate</p> -<p class='line0'>Like readin’ of them graveyards of yourn.</p> -<p class='line0'>So I thought I’d rather perlong my breath,</p> -<p class='line0'>Tho’ sometimes here a fellow they hangs”——</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='201' id='Page_201'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>“You are right, my friend. Choose your own way of death,</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>I</span> go in for that,” said Professor Bangs.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“But I see you have not understood</p> -<p class='line0'>Why no aged person is ever found</p> -<p class='line0'>Among us. We only want <span class='it'>young</span> blood</p> -<p class='line0'>On our driving, thriving, Yankee ground.</p> -<p class='line0'>Youth alone has the power to go it;</p> -<p class='line0'>Old men are a drag on putting it through,</p> -<p class='line0'>So we kill them off—and our tombstones show it—</p> -<p class='line0'>Before they arrive at forty-two.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Here the driver gave a long <span class='it'>cher</span>—<span class='it'>rup</span>!</p> -<p class='line0'>And gazed at the Yankee, dark and wan,</p> -<p class='line0'>As if he had woke the wrong passenger up</p> -<p class='line0'>While calmly Professor Bangs went on:</p> -<p class='line0'>“In walking up and down Broadway,</p> -<p class='line0'>Large mourning sign-boards at times appear</p> -<p class='line0'>With this inscription in letters grey—</p> -<p class='line0'>‘<span class='it'>Elderly persons extinguished here</span>.’</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='202' id='Page_202'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“And they put in your hand a pamphlet small,</p> -<p class='line0'>Adapted to people of different stations,</p> -<p class='line0'>Which cites the law, and exhorts them all</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>To dismiss in peace</span> their old relations.</p> -<p class='line0'>‘Why let them linger in a vale,’</p> -<p class='line0'>It states, ‘where often colds they catch?</p> -<p class='line0'>Send them to <span class='it'>us</span>, and we’ll end the tale</p> -<p class='line0'>With politeness, humanity, and dispatch.’</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“ ‘N.B.—For those who would die by the trigger</p> -<p class='line0'>We’ve a merciful man who’s a practised shot,</p> -<p class='line0'>With an elegant room, and a careful nigger</p> -<p class='line0'>To lay them genteelly out on the spot.</p> -<p class='line0'>Our principal has a chemist of fame,</p> -<p class='line0'>Whom he exclusively employs on</p> -<p class='line0'>Those who set their checks on a different game</p> -<p class='line0'>And like to pass to heaven by poison.’</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“ ’Tis thus the ladies generally choose it;</p> -<p class='line0'>They love to die without pain or pangs</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='203' id='Page_203'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>By a nice little globule—who could refuse it?</p> -<p class='line0'>None but a man,” said Professor Bangs.</p> -<p class='line0'>“A <span class='it'>saw buck</span> extra they always charge</p> -<p class='line0'>For the stylish mode of extinguishing breath.</p> -<p class='line0'>A saw buck’s ten dollars. It’s rather large,</p> -<p class='line0'>But then it ensures you a <span class='it'>cocktail</span> death.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“Vot may that be?” said the driver, meekly,</p> -<p class='line0'>In the tone of a greatly altered man.</p> -<p class='line0'>I observed that he seemed to be growing weakly</p> -<p class='line0'>Since the Professor his story began.</p> -<p class='line0'>“A cocktail’s a tipple—America vaunts of it—</p> -<p class='line0'>So flavoured, so foamy, so spiced, and whirled,</p> -<p class='line0'>That he who can get as much as he wants of it</p> -<p class='line0'>Very soon drinks himself out of the world.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“ ’Tis said in the sky—right over Paris,</p> -<p class='line0'>Where the American heaven is found,</p> -<p class='line0'>Where everything brick-like and fast and rare is—</p> -<p class='line0'>The cocks with tumblers for tails run round.</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='204' id='Page_204'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>They cut to the bar for all things thinkable,—</p> -<p class='line0'>All that is nice is a gratis boon,—</p> -<p class='line0'>Then they come back with your favourite drinkable</p> -<p class='line0'>And their sickle-feather’s a silver spoon!</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“But he who invented the cocktail brew is</p> -<p class='line0'>The man before you. Thus came the hint:</p> -<p class='line0'>I had once been kissing a pretty Jewess,</p> -<p class='line0'>Who just before had been nibbling mint;</p> -<p class='line0'>And in order to recall the taste</p> -<p class='line0'>Which I found in pressing her luscious two lips,</p> -<p class='line0'>I mingled brandy and mint, in haste,</p> -<p class='line0'>With sugar and ice—and thus made Juleps.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“The first step was, therefore, the julep perfected,</p> -<p class='line0'>Which gives us a <span class='it'>menthal</span> spirit of wine;</p> -<p class='line0'>And finding myself thereby respected,</p> -<p class='line0'>I sought to make bitter and sweet combine.</p> -<p class='line0'>So I took of bitters aromatic</p> -<p class='line0'>(I prefer the tincture of bark myself,</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='205' id='Page_205'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>With orange flavoured, but if you lack it,</p> -<p class='line0'>Try any kind on the bar-room shelf).</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“And I fixed them with sugar, and ice, and spirits,</p> -<p class='line0'>In a silver tumbler, lightning-quick, sir,</p> -<p class='line0'>Which I shook till all their several merits</p> -<p class='line0'>Were combined in one subtle and strange elixir.</p> -<p class='line0'>Then I passed it through a silver sieve</p> -<p class='line0'>Kept carefully free from spot or rust;</p> -<p class='line0'>And the final jimglorious touch to give,</p> -<p class='line0'>I threw in a sprinkle of nutmeg-dust.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“And I am told by the spirit-rappers</p> -<p class='line0'>That in the American Paris-heaven,</p> -<p class='line0'>Though they’ve fancy drinks which are total snappers,</p> -<p class='line0'>There’s nothing better than mine are given.</p> -<p class='line0'>So they die in New York without any pangs,</p> -<p class='line0'>For they know in the next world, to requite ’em,</p> -<p class='line0'>They’ll sit over Paris,” said Mr. Bangs,</p> -<p class='line0'>“A-drinking cocktails <span class='it'>ad infinitum</span>.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='206' id='Page_206'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Here we got down, and the driver said,</p> -<p class='line0'>“Vell, <span class='it'>you</span>’re of the kind that will allers bang ’em!”</p> -<p class='line0'>And turning our mocassins homeward, we sped</p> -<p class='line0'>To that great American wigwam, the Langham.</p> -<p class='line0'>Said Bangs, “O’er <span class='it'>my</span> eyes there is drawn no wool.</p> -<p class='line0'>That man has no heart who would tell you a mock tale;</p> -<p class='line0'>But story for story I told to the Bull,</p> -<p class='line0'>What I call a real American cocktail.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<hr class='footnotemark'/> - -<div class='footnote'> -<table summary='footnote_10'> -<colgroup> -<col span='1' style='width: 3em;'/> -<col span='1'/> -</colgroup> -<tr><td style='vertical-align:top;'> -<div id='f10'><a href='#r10'>[10]</a></div> -</td><td> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='it'>Cove</span>, a word erroneously supposed to be slang. It is derived from the Gypsy -<span class='it'>covo</span> or <span class='it'>covi</span>, meaning <span class='it'>that</span>—that fellow, that thing.</p> - -</td></tr> -</table> -</div> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='207' id='Page_207'></span><h1>JUDGE WYMAN<br/> <span class='sub-head'><span class='sc'>a rural yankee legend</span></span></h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Long ago, in the State of Maine,</p> -<p class='line0'>  There lived a Judge—a good old soul,</p> -<p class='line0'>Rather well up in “genial vein,”</p> -<p class='line0'>  And not by any means “down on” the bowl.</p> -<p class='line0'>N.B.—By “bowl” I mean the “cup,”</p> -<p class='line0'>  And by “cup”—N.B.—I mean a <span class='it'>glass</span>,</p> -<p class='line0'>Since neither bowls nor cups go up</p> -<p class='line0'>  At present when we our liquor pass.</p> -<p class='line0'>        (Although I recall—</p> -<p class='line0'>        ’Tis three years this Fall—</p> -<p class='line0'>When travelling in the wilderness,</p> -<p class='line0'>And things were all in an awful mess,</p> -<p class='line0'>And our crockery, with a horrible crash,</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='208' id='Page_208'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>Had gone its way to eternal smash)</p> -<p class='line0'>(It came, as the driver allowed, from racin’),</p> -<p class='line0'>We drank champagne from a tin wash-basin.</p> -<p class='line0'>Excuse the digression—<span class='it'>non est crimen</span>—</p> -<p class='line0'>And return to our Judge, whose name was Wyman.</p> -<p class='line0'>The Judge oft drank in a hostelrie</p> -<p class='line0'>  Kept by a man whose name was Sterret,</p> -<p class='line0'>Where he met with jolly company,</p> -<p class='line0'>  But where the whisky was void of merit.</p> -<p class='line0'>The real Minié rifle brand,</p> -<p class='line0'>That at forty rods kills out of hand.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Well, it came to pass that one night the Judge</p> -<p class='line0'>  At Sterret’s, after a long, hot day,</p> -<p class='line0'>Got so tight that he couldn’t budge,</p> -<p class='line0'>  And found himself “well over the bay,”</p> -<p class='line0'>With a “snake in his boot” and one in his hat,</p> -<p class='line0'>  Like a biled owl, or a monkey horned,</p> -<p class='line0'>Tangle-legged, hawk-eyed, on a bat,</p> -<p class='line0'>  Peepy, skewered, and slewed, and corned.</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='209' id='Page_209'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>Couldn’t tell a skunk from a pint of Cologne,</p> -<p class='line0'>  Couldn’t see the difference ’tween <span class='it'>fips</span> and cents;</p> -<p class='line0'>And when he attempted to walk alone,</p> -<p class='line0'>  Simply made a Virginia fence;</p> -<p class='line0'>Till liquor yielded at last to sleep,</p> -<p class='line0'>And he sank into Dream River—four miles deep.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>Sanctus Ivus fuit Brito, advocatus sed non latro.</span></p> -<p class='line0'>“Saint Ives the Briton first took a brief,</p> -<p class='line0'>For though a lawyer he wasn’t a thief.”</p> -<p class='line0'>This is what the story declares,</p> -<p class='line0'>Which says he listens to lawyers’ prayers.</p> -<p class='line0'>Likely enough! perhaps he may—</p> -<p class='line0'>Whenever a lawyer tries to pray!</p> -<p class='line0'>But another legend, old and quaint,</p> -<p class='line0'>Assigns them a different kind of saint,</p> -<p class='line0'>With a singular foot and peculiar hue,</p> -<p class='line0'>Whose breath is tinged with a beautiful blue;</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>  And this was <span class='it'>rather</span> the saint, I think,</p> -<p class='line0'>Who inspired the young lawyers, twenty-four,</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='210' id='Page_210'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>  Who helped Judge Wyman to stow his drink,</p> -<p class='line0'>And made them rejoice to hear him snore.</p> -<p class='line0'>  Who, save the devil, would not have wept</p> -<p class='line0'>To see these graceless legal loons</p> -<p class='line0'>  Tricking the good old Judge as he slept,</p> -<p class='line0'>And filling his pockets with Sterret’s spoons?</p> -<p class='line0'>  With silver spoons; likewise for butter</p> -<p class='line0'>A handsome ten-dollar silver knife;</p> -<p class='line0'>  Then put Judge Wyman on a shutter,</p> -<p class='line0'>And carried him home to his loving wife.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>If any ladies read these rhymes,</p> -<p class='line0'>  Which in Edgar A. Poetry are called “runes,”</p> -<p class='line0'>They may just imagine what sort of times</p> -<p class='line0'>  Mrs. Wyman had when she found the spoons!</p> -<p class='line0'>The Judge’s grief was full of merit,</p> -<p class='line0'>  And his lady wasn’t inclined to flout it;</p> -<p class='line0'>But she quietly took the spoons to Sterret,</p> -<p class='line0'>  And nothing more was said about it.</p> -<p class='line0'>A month went by, and <span class='it'>Fama</span>, the wench!</p> -<p class='line0'>  Had not spread a whisper to urge remorse,</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='211' id='Page_211'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>And Judge Wyman sat on the legal bench,</p> -<p class='line0'>  Trying a fellow for stealing a horse.</p> -<p class='line0'>The evidence was all due north.</p> -<p class='line0'>  It froze the prisoner every minute,</p> -<p class='line0'>Till Judge Wyman called the culprit forth,</p> -<p class='line0'>  And asked what “he had to say <span class='it'>agin</span> it?”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>The prisoner looked at the planks of pine</p> -<p class='line0'>  Of the little rural court-house ceiling,</p> -<p class='line0'>At all the jury in a line,</p> -<p class='line0'>  Then answered, his only small card dealing,</p> -<p class='line0'>“Judge, I hev lots of honesty,</p> -<p class='line0'>  But when I’m drunk I can’t control it;</p> -<p class='line0'>And as for this ’ere hoss—d’ye see?—</p> -<p class='line0'>  I was drunk as blazes when I stole it.”</p> -<p class='line0'>Answered the Judge, “If this Court were a dunce,</p> -<p class='line0'>  She would say, in law that is no excuse;</p> -<p class='line0'>For the Court held that opinion <span class='it'>once</span>,</p> -<p class='line0'>  But of late her connection’s been gettin’ loose.</p> -<p class='line0'>One may be certain on law to-day,</p> -<p class='line0'>  And find himself to-morrow dumb.—</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='212' id='Page_212'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“But answer me one thing truly, and say</p> -<p class='line0'>  Where’bouts it was you got your rum?”</p> -<p class='line0'>“I drank because I was invited,</p> -<p class='line0'>  And got my rum at Sterret’s, d’ye see?”</p> -<p class='line0'>“Mr. Sheriff,” cried the Judge, excited,</p> -<p class='line0'>  “This instant set that poor man free!</p> -<p class='line0'>The liquor that Sterret sells, by thunder!</p> -<p class='line0'>  Would make a man do anything,</p> -<p class='line0'>And some time or other, I shouldn’t wonder</p> -<p class='line0'>  If it made a saint on the gallows swing;</p> -<p class='line0'>It will run a man to perdition quicker</p> -<p class='line0'>  Than it takes a fiddler to reel off tunes;</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>Why, this Court herself once got drunk on that liquor,</span></p> -<p class='line0'>  <span class='it'>And stole the whole of old Sterret’s spoons</span>!”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='213' id='Page_213'></span><h1>IN NEVADA</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Like an awful alligator</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Breathing fire and screeching hell-some,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>With a pack of hounds behind him,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As if hunted by the devil,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Came the smoking locomotive,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Followed by the cars and tender,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Down among the mountain gorges,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Till it stopped before a village</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As the starry night came on.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Just before a mountain village,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Where there was a howling shindy</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Just around a bran-new gallows,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>With a roaring blazing bonfire</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Casting a red light upon it,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='214' id='Page_214'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>While a crowd of roughest rowdies</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Shouted, “Cuss him! darn his vitals!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Bust him! sink him! burn him! skin him!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Evidently much excited</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As the starry night came on.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>On the gallows stood a culprit</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Shrieking painfully for mercy.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As the train and engine halted,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Louder yelled the gasping victim.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Then out cried the grim conductor,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“What in thunder is the matter?</p> -<p class='dramaline'>What’s ye doin’ with that feller?</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Why’ve ye got both fire and gallows?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And unto him some one answered,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As the starry night came on:—</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“This all-fired, skunk-eyed villain,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Whom you see upon the gallows,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='215' id='Page_215'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Lately stole the loveliest mewel<a id='r11'/><a href='#f11' style='text-decoration:none'><sup><span style='font-size:0.9em'>[11]</span></sup></a></p> -<p class='dramaline'>That you ever sot your peeps on,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For a hundred shiny dollars,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Went and sold it to the Greasers;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But, as you perceive, we’ve nailed him,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And at present we’re debatin’</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Whether we had better hang him,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or else roast him like an Injun,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Ere the starry night comes on.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“And I think ez ther ar’ ladies</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Here to grace this gay occasion,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In the train, and quite convenient,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>We had better take and burn him.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>’Twould be kinder interestin’,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or, as folks might say, romantic,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To behold an execution,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As we do ’em here in Hell Town,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='216' id='Page_216'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>In the real frontier fashion,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Ere the starry night comes on.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Up from all the assembled ladies,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And from all the passageros,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Went a scream of protestation,—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“What! for nothing but a mewel!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Only for a hundred dollars</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Roast alive a fine young fellow!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Never, never, never, ne—ver!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Falling on her knees, a damsel</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Begged the maddened crowd to spare him,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And to her replied the spokesman,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As the starry night came on:—</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Since the lady begs it of us,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And as we ar’ galiant fellers,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>We will smash the tail of Jestis,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And will spare this orful miscrint,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='217' id='Page_217'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Ef you’ll raise a hundred dollars</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To replace the vanished mewel.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Then this fiend, unwhipped, undamaged,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>May go wanderin’ to thunder,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Soon as he darnation pleases,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Ere the starry night comes on.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Straight among the pitying ladies,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the other passageros,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Went the hat around in circle.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Dollars, quarters, halves, and greenbacks</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Rained into it till the hundred</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Was accomplished, and the ransom</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Paid unto Judge Lynch in person,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who received it very gracious,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And at once released the prisoner,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Sternly bidding him to squaddle,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Just as fast as he could make it,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Ere the starry night came on.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='218' id='Page_218'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the lady who by kneeling</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Had destroyed the path of justice,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Seized upon the fine young fellow,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He who had the mulomania,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or who was a kleptomuliac;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And she led him by the halter,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>While the reckless population</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Made atrocious puns upon it;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And she stowed him in the Pullman</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As the safest sanctuary,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As the starry night came on.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>It was over. Loud the whistle</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Blew a signal of departure;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Still the dying bonfire flickering</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Showed on high the ghastly gallows,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Seeming like some hungry monster</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Disappointed of a victim,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Gasping as in fitful anger,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Pouring out unto the gallows</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='219' id='Page_219'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or the sympathetic scaffold</p> -<p class='dramaline'>All the story of its sorrow,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As the clouds passed o’er the moon-face,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the starry night came on.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Soon the train and those within it</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Reached and passed a second station,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And was speeding ever onward,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>When at once a shriek came ringing—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>’Twas an utterance from the lady</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who by tears had baffled justice;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Loud she cried, “Where is my hero?</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Where, oh, where’s the handsome prisoner?”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the affable conductor</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Searched the train from clue to ear-ring,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>But they could not find the captive.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He had clearly just evaded</p> -<p class='dramaline'>At the station just behind them,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As the starry night came on.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='220' id='Page_220'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Then outspoke a man unnoted</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Hitherto: “I heard the fellow</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Say just now to the conductor,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Ere we reached the second teapot,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That he reckoned he must hook it</p> -<p class='dramaline'>This here time a little sooner,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>If he hoped to get his portion</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of the hundred, since the last time</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He came awful nigh to lose it;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For it might be anted off all</p> -<p class='dramaline'>’Fore he got a chance to strike it,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Ere the starry night came on.”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And the Unknown thus continued:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“They hev hed that gallows standin’</p> -<p class='dramaline'>All the summer, and the people</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Mostly git ther livin’ from it,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For they take ther turns in bein’</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Mournful victims who hev stolen</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='221' id='Page_221'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Every one a lovely mewel;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And they always every evenin’</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Hev the awful death-fire kindled,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the ghastly captive ready.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>It’s the fourth time I hev seen it,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Comin’ through and never missed it;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Only for a variation</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Now and then they hire a nigger</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For the people from New England,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As the starry night comes on.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“And they find that fire and gallows</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Just as good as a bonanza,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For they got the Legislater</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Lately to incopperate it;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And I hear the stock is risin’</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Up like prairie smoke in autumn.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Yes, in this world men diskiver</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Cur’ous ways to make a livin’,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Ez you’ll find when you hev tried it</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='222' id='Page_222'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>For a year or so about here.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the passengers in silence</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Mused upon this new experience,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Most of all the fine young lady,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As the dragon darted onward,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And the starry night came on.</p> - -<hr class='footnotemark'/> - -<div class='footnote'> -<table summary='footnote_11'> -<colgroup> -<col span='1' style='width: 3em;'/> -<col span='1'/> -</colgroup> -<tr><td style='vertical-align:top;'> -<div id='f11'><a href='#r11'>[11]</a></div> -</td><td> - -<p class='pindent'>Mule.</p> - -</td></tr> -</table> -</div> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='223' id='Page_223'></span><h1>THE PHILANTHROPIC CLUB</h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>I am the member of a club of reg’lar noble seeds,</p> -<p class='line0'>Whose object is to give rewards for philanthropic deeds.</p> -<p class='line0'>We root for magnanimity as spiders hunt for flies,</p> -<p class='line0'>So we lately held a meeting to award our annual prize.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Then our President reported with great solemnity</p> -<p class='line0'>The case of Dayball Carter, a man in Tennessee,</p> -<p class='line0'>Who plunged into a burning store as if his doom had come,</p> -<p class='line0'>But emergéd with an infant—and a gallon jug of rum.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>But the club could nowise settle, admitting all the fact,</p> -<p class='line0'>If the baby or the liquor had inspired the noble act,</p> -<p class='line0'>For ’twas proved he kept the liquor while he let the infant go,</p> -<p class='line0'>So the case of Mr. Carter was adjourned <span class='it'>in dubio</span>.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='224' id='Page_224'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Then the Secretary read us, in very moving tones,</p> -<p class='line0'>The wondrous case of courage of General Pompey Jones,</p> -<p class='line0'>Who found a hydrophobic dog upon a neighbour’s farm,</p> -<p class='line0'>And roped his neck and led him off where he could do no harm.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Then Brother Chunk, of Pewterville, declared that it was sad</p> -<p class='line0'>To have to state that Jones had no idea the dog was mad,</p> -<p class='line0'>And that in circles where he moved ’twas very freely said</p> -<p class='line0'>He’d picked it up intending to come out one dog ahead.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Then the next case reported in the doings of the day</p> -<p class='line0'>Was that of Huckleberry Pod, a man in Iowa,</p> -<p class='line0'>Who slopped into a raging flood to save a drowning maid,</p> -<p class='line0'>And did it like a beaver, as admiring neighbours said.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Then Brother Chunk again let down his fist with startling bump,</p> -<p class='line0'>And said he’d found that Mr. Pod refused to make the jump</p> -<p class='line0'>Till offered fifty dollars by the people of the town,</p> -<p class='line0'>And that then he wouldn’t do it till he got the money down.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='225' id='Page_225'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Last of all we heard the instance of Golias Purple Fife,</p> -<p class='line0'>Who went into an awful well to save a fellow’s life,</p> -<p class='line0'>A man who always spoke of Fife as of a blooming fool,</p> -<p class='line0'>And who recently had done him blind in trading for a mule;</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And on top of this, moreover, in addition, ’twas a fact,</p> -<p class='line0'>He refused a quarter-dollar for this noble manly act,</p> -<p class='line0'>And when they asked him what he’d drink, or if he’d take a bite,</p> -<p class='line0'>He jumped in silence on his mule and rode into the night.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>This case, in the opinion of the members of the club,</p> -<p class='line0'>Was much the most deserving, and the nearest to the hub;</p> -<p class='line0'>And each allowed he’d never heard the like in all his life,</p> -<p class='line0'>So, by general acclamation, they bestowed the prize on Fife:—</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>A silver-plated snuff-box, with a compass in the lid,</p> -<p class='line0'>With the words, “<span class='it'>If sold at auction always do as you are bid</span>,”</p> -<p class='line0'>Which we sent him in a hurry ere it might be understood</p> -<p class='line0'>That this, too, was not an instance of the pure unmingled good.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='226' id='Page_226'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And these are the proceedings of these noble-minded seeds,</p> -<p class='line0'>Who make it their profession to discover virtuous deeds;</p> -<p class='line0'>And every day turns out a lot, but still ’tis on our mind</p> -<p class='line0'>That a case without a speck in it is very hard to find.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='227' id='Page_227'></span><h1>THE COLOURED FORTUNE-HUNTER</h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Pete Jonsing went to see the County Clerk</p> -<p class='line0'>About a marriage license, and the man</p> -<p class='line0'>Said unto him for fun, but seriously:</p> -<p class='line0'>“I hope the bride possesses fifty cents,</p> -<p class='line0'>Because the Legislature’s passed a law</p> -<p class='line0'>That any girl with less must not be wed.”</p> -<p class='line0'>“Jis’ go ahead wid dat ’ar paper, Boss,”</p> -<p class='line0'>Peter replied; then whispered, bending down:</p> -<p class='line0'>“Dar’s rumers—and dey is reliable—</p> -<p class='line0'>Dat de young woman dat I’m goin’ fur</p> -<p class='line0'>Has got two dollars and a quarter—<span class='it'>shoa</span>.</p> -<p class='line0'>And dat’s de reason wy I marries her.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='228' id='Page_228'></span><h1>PENN<br/> <span class='sub-head'><span class='sc'>on a text by robert burdette</span></span></h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>When William Penn appeared before King Charles</p> -<p class='line0'>To get the charter of his Promised Land</p> -<p class='line0'>            In Pennsylvaniá,</p> -<p class='line0'>’Twas in his usual free-and-easy style,</p> -<p class='line0'>With hands in pockets and his hat on side—</p> -<p class='line0'>            Singing <span class='it'>Lard-dardy day</span>!</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>Let us drink and be merry, laugh, sing, and rejoice,</span></p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>With claret and sherry, theorbo and voice,</span></p> -<p class='line0'>            <span class='it'>Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay!</span></p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>King Charles at once removed his feathered tile.</p> -<p class='line0'>“Keep on your hat, young man!” said William Penn,</p> -<p class='line0'>            “It is our Quaker way;</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='229' id='Page_229'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>And people will not know that you are bald;</p> -<p class='line0'>Be quite at home to make your guests at home—</p> -<p class='line0'>            Singing <span class='it'>Lard-dardy day</span>!</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>This changeable world to our joys is unjust,</span></p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>All treasure’s uncertain, so down with your dust,</span></p> -<p class='line0'>            <span class='it'>Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay!</span>”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“It is the custom here,” the King replied,</p> -<p class='line0'>“For only one to cover at a time;</p> -<p class='line0'>            This is the courtly way.”</p> -<p class='line0'>“Then you should have more covers,” warbled Penn.</p> -<p class='line0'>“Warm people’s heads to make them merry men—</p> -<p class='line0'>            Singing <span class='it'>Lard-dardy day</span>!</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>And in frolics dispose of your shillings and pence,</span></p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>Since we all shall be past it a hundred years hence,</span></p> -<p class='line0'>            <span class='it'>Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay</span>!</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“ ’Tis a queer world, and faith! I do not lay</p> -<p class='line0'>My hat around, loose, in a domicile</p> -<p class='line0'>            Where I don’t know the way,</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='230' id='Page_230'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>Unless some party gives a check for it;</p> -<p class='line0'>I’ve travelled some—I have—and can’t be bit—</p> -<p class='line0'>            Singing <span class='it'>Lard-dardy day</span>!</p> -<p class='line0'>Since, despite your invention, and learning, and sense,</p> -<p class='line0'>You’ll be <span class='it'>non est inventus</span> a hundred years hence,</p> -<p class='line0'>            <span class='it'>Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay!</span>”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“Odds-fish!” exclaimed his Royal Majesty,</p> -<p class='line0'>“He talks full well, but as it seems to me,</p> -<p class='line0'>            According to our way,</p> -<p class='line0'>There’s a tremendous pig in this same Penn.”</p> -<p class='line0'>“Bravo, young man!” said William; “try again—</p> -<p class='line0'>            Singing <span class='it'>Lard-dardy day</span>!</p> -<p class='line0'>You have brought me a terrible one on the nob,</p> -<p class='line0'>But I bear you no malice, not being a snob,</p> -<p class='line0'>            <span class='it'>Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay!</span>”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And thus it is that history is writ,</p> -<p class='line0'>And thus it is good men are slandered sore</p> -<p class='line0'>            From ever till to-day.</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='231' id='Page_231'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>Some writer pastes a joke; it may remain</p> -<p class='line0'>Safe in a corner from Time’s wind and rain</p> -<p class='line0'>            Till Time has rolled away.</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>So, hurrah for King Charles! and hurrah, too, for Penn!</span></p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>And all such and similar excellent men!</span></p> -<p class='line0'>            <span class='it'>Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay!</span></p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='232' id='Page_232'></span><h1>BALLAD OF THE FOXES</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>There is a golden glory in my song</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As of a picture by Carpaccio,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For it is of the early morning-time</p> -<p class='dramaline'>When every man believed with tender faith</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That animals could talk—oh, lovely lore!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So, lady, listen as the lay runs on.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>There was a goose, and she was travelling</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Across the land for her dyspepsia,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And at the noontide sat to rest herself</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In a small thicket, when there came along</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Two starving foxes, perishing to find</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Something which was not too-too-utter-ish</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='233' id='Page_233'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>To serve for dinner. And as they were wild</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For want of food, it was but natural</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That they should likewise be confounded cross;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Oh, lady, listen as the lay runs on!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And as they halted near the thicket, one</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of them observed, “If you were half as sharp</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As books make out, you would not now, I’ll bet,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Be ravenous enough to gnaw the grass.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“And if you were as big, or half as big,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As you believe you are,” snarled Number Two,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“You’d be a lion of the largest size</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='it'>Minus</span> his roar, and pluck, and dignity.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Oh, listen, lady, as the lay runs on!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Please to observe I want no impudence</p> -<p class='dramaline'>From any fifteen-nickel quadruped</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of your peculiar shape,” snapped Number One.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“And if you give me but another note</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='234' id='Page_234'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of your chin-music,” snarled out Number Two,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“I’ll make a wreck of you, you wretched beast,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Beyond insurance—bet your tail on that!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Oh, lady, listen as the lay runs on!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“You are the champion snob of all the beasts!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“And you the upper scum of all the frauds.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“You are the weathercock of infamy.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“And you the lightning-rod of falsehood’s spire.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“You are a thief!” “Ditto.” “You lie.” “I ain’t.”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Shut up, you goy!” And hearing this, the goose</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Could bear no more, but walking from the bush,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Put on expression most benevolent,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And said, “Oh, gentlemen, for shame! for shame!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I’ll settle this dispute: in the first place</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Let me remark, as an impartial friend——”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Oh, listen, lady, as the lay runs on!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>But she did not remark, because they made</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A rush at her and caught her by the throat,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='235' id='Page_235'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>And ate her up; and as they picked their teeth</p> -<p class='dramaline'>With toothpicks made of her last pin-feathers,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The first observed, and that quite affably,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“Only a goose would ever make attempt</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To settle a dispute when foxes fight”—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Oh, lady, listen as the lay runs on!</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“And while I have a very great respect</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For any peacemaker,” said Number Two,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“I would suggest that I invariably</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Have found, if they be really honest folk</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who interfere with reprobates like us,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>They’re always eaten up; there is, I think,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>More clanship between devils any day</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Than among all the angels. Interest</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Binds us together, and howe’er we fight</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Among ourselves to ease our bitter blood,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>We do not hate each other half as much</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As we do hate the good. Neighbours who fight</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Can generally take most perfect care,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='236' id='Page_236'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Not only of themselves, but of the goose</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who sticks her bill into the fuss they make.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>This banquet now adjourns until it meets</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Another wingéd angel of the sort</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which it has just discussed—may it be soon!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Lady, this lyric runs no further on.</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='237' id='Page_237'></span><h1>EST MODUS IN REBUS<br/> <span class='sub-head'><span class='sc'>a narrative of new york</span></span></h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>I would not say to man, “Don’t spread yourself</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To win the admiration of mankind,”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Since he who never spreads can never shine,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And he who never shines is never seen,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And he who’s never seen is counted out</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In the great game of life; yet what is spread</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Too thin entirely, when the sun shines out</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Must soon dry up and be a fly-away.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>There was a man who took his daily dine</p> -<p class='dramaline'>At a delightful <span class='it'>table d’hôte</span>, where he</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Was waited on by an obedient youth,</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='238' id='Page_238'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who, as a waiter, was a paragon</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of quick politeness. He’d apologise</p> -<p class='dramaline'>If the sun shone too much, or if it rained,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And say in simple faith that he would speak</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To the proprietor and have it changed,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Then vanish like an elfin fly-away.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>The vulgar boarder at this <span class='it'>table d’hôte</span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Was one who greatly loved to spread himself</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And play the imperial before the rest;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And finding that the waiter cushioned it,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Sat down on him severely. Every time</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He spoke he called him names, and said that he</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Forthwith would punish him in cruel wise</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Unless he tortled faster, or unless</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The steak was better cooked. And then he’d swear—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Oh, death and dandelions! how he would swear!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Till all the blood of all the boarders round</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Was almost turned to cherry-water ice,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And each and all wished they could fly away.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='239' id='Page_239'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And yet this waiter had a fund reserved</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of pretty stout pugnacity and pride,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And every time the boarder called him “fool,”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or “low-born rooster,” he would add it up</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To the preceding pile of expletives,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And think it over. He did not forget</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A single word. Of all the abusatives</p> -<p class='dramaline'>There was not one which proved a fly-away.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>At last the crisis came, when one fine day,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For some imagined fault, the boarder said</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Unto the waiter, that unless he stirred</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A little quicker he would bung his eye,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And take him by the legs <span class='it'>instanter</span>-ly</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And wipe the floor with him. But with that word</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He overdrew the account. That was the fly</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which overset the camel, and the drop</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which made the pail slop over. For the youth</p> -<p class='dramaline'>On that let out his Injun. All at once</p> -<p class='dramaline'>He turned both red and white, as fat and lean</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='240' id='Page_240'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Are seen in a beefsteak before ’tis cooked,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And blew his soul out in a fly-away.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“You misspelled copy of a gentleman</p> -<p class='dramaline'>With all the meaning lost!—if you dare call</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Me names again as you have often done,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I’ll bung your pallid eyes. You’ve said too much,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>So now just dwindle down. I’ve always been</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Obedient and polite, and served you well,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As you were never served by any one,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And all you ever gave me was abuse,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And all because you were a vulgar fool.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Now stop your noise, or I will sling you out</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of yonder window for a fly-away!”</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>The boarder rose as if in roaring wrath,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The waiter jerked his linen jacket off</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And fairly danced about in gypsy style,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Impatient for a fight. But then the guest</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='241' id='Page_241'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>As if with self-command restrained himself,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And said to the assembled company,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“There must be lines in all society</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To regulate our conduct. Lines, I say,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which separate us from the vulgar herd,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>With whom we may not fight. I draw the line</p> -<p class='dramaline'>At waiters.” Here he looked about the room</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To be applauded; but the only sound</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which rose was that of a tremendous slap</p> -<p class='dramaline'>On his own face, and then a mighty roar</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of laughter from the happy company,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For all his valour was a fly-away.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>So he sat down too terrified to speak;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And then the waiter took a dripping jug</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of ice-water and poured out every drop</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Upon his head, yea, water, ice, and all;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And then that boarder burst in bitter tears,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And blubbered like a boy, while all the room</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Rang with redoubled laughter. Then a guest</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='242' id='Page_242'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Proposed a vote of thanks to him who had</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Put down a public nuisance, and the next</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Passed round a hat and took collection up</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To give the waiter as a small reward</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For punishing a coward. Then he rose,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And since that hour has been a fly-away.</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='243' id='Page_243'></span><h1>THE MASHER</h1></div> - -<div class='blockquoter8'> - -<p class='pindent'>The word to “mash,” in the sense of causing love or attracting by a glance or -fascinating look, came into ordinary slang from the American stage. Thus an actress -was often fined for “mashing” or smiling at men in the audience. It was introduced by -the well-known gypsy family of actors, C., among whom Romany was habitually spoken. -The word “masher” or “mash” means in that tongue to allure, delude, or entice. -It was doubtless much aided in its popularity by its quasi-identity with the English -word. A girl could be called a masher as she could be called a man-killer, or killing. -But there can be no doubt as to the gypsy origin of “mash” as used on the stage. I -am indebted for this information to the late well-known <span class='it'>impresario</span> Palmer of New -York, and I made a note of it years before the term had become at all popular.</p> - -</div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>It was in the Indian summer-time, when life is tender brown,</p> -<p class='line0'>And people in the country talk of going into town,</p> -<p class='line0'>When the nights are crisp and cooling, though the sun is warm by day,</p> -<p class='line0'>In the home-like town of Glasgow, in the State of Iowa;</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>It was in the railroad deepô of that greatly-favoured zone,</p> -<p class='line0'>That a young man met a stranger, who was still not all unknown,</p> -<p class='line0'>For they had run-countered casual in riding in the car,</p> -<p class='line0'>And the latter to the previous had offered a cigar.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='244' id='Page_244'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now as the primal gentleman was nominated Gale,</p> -<p class='line0'>It follows that the secondary man was Mr. Dale;</p> -<p class='line0'>This is called poetic justice when arrangements fit in time,</p> -<p class='line0'>And Fate allows the titles to accommodate in rhyme.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And a lovely sense of autumn seemed to warble in the air;</p> -<p class='line0'>Boys with baskets selling peaches were vibratin’ everywhere,</p> -<p class='line0'>While in the mellow distance folks were gettin’ in their corn,</p> -<p class='line0'>And the biggest yellow punkins ever seen since you were born.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now a gradual sensation emotioned this our Gale,</p> -<p class='line0'>That he’d seldom seen so fine a man for cheek as Mr. Dale;</p> -<p class='line0'>Yet simultaneous he felt that he was all the while</p> -<p class='line0'>The biggest dude and cock-a-hoop within a hundred mile.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>For the usual expression of his quite enormous eyes</p> -<p class='line0'>Was that of two ripe gooseberries who’ve been decreed a prize;</p> -<p class='line0'>Like a goose apart from berries, too—though not removed from sauce—</p> -<p class='line0'>He conversed on lovely Woman as if he were all her boss.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='245' id='Page_245'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Till, in fact, he stated plainly that, between his face and cash,</p> -<p class='line0'>There was not a lady living whom he was not sure to mash;</p> -<p class='line0'>The wealthiest, the loveliest, of families sublime,</p> -<p class='line0'>At just a single look from him must all give in in time.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now when our Dale had got along so far upon the strain,</p> -<p class='line0'>They saw a Dream of Loveliness descending from the train,</p> -<p class='line0'>A proud and queenly beauty of a transcendental face,</p> -<p class='line0'>With gloves unto her shoulders, and the most expensive lace.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>All Baltimore and New Orleans seemed centered into one,</p> -<p class='line0'>As if their stars of beauty had been fused into a sun;</p> -<p class='line0'>But, oh! her frosty dignity expressed a kind of glow</p> -<p class='line0'>Like sunshine when thermometers show thirty grades below.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>But it flashed a gleam of shrewdness into the head of Gale,</p> -<p class='line0'>And with aggravatin’ humour he exclaimed to Mr. Dale,</p> -<p class='line0'>“Since every girl’s a cricket-ball and you’re the only bat,</p> -<p class='line0'>If you want to show you’re champion, go in and mash on that.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='246' id='Page_246'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“I will bet a thousand dollars, and plank them on the rub,</p> -<p class='line0'>That if you try it thither, you will catch a lofty snub.</p> -<p class='line0'>I don’t mean but what a lady may reply to what you say,</p> -<p class='line0'>But I bet you cannot win her into wedding in a day.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>A singular emotion enveloped Mr. Dale;</p> -<p class='line0'>One would say he seemed confuseled, for his countenance was pale:</p> -<p class='line0'>At first there came an angry look, and when that look did get,</p> -<p class='line0'>He larft a wild and hollow larf, and said, “I take the debt.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“The brave deserve the lovely—every woman may be won;</p> -<p class='line0'>What men have fixed before us may by other men be done.</p> -<p class='line0'>You will lose your thousand dollars. For the first time in my life</p> -<p class='line0'>I have gazed upon a woman whom I wish to make my wife.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Like a terrier at a rabbit, with his hat upon his eyes</p> -<p class='line0'>Mr. Dale, the awful masher, went head-longing at the prize,</p> -<p class='line0'>Looking rather like a party simply bent to break the peace,</p> -<p class='line0'>Mr. Gale, with smiles, expected just a yell for the police.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='247' id='Page_247'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Oh! what are women made of? Oh! what can women be?</p> -<p class='line0'>From Eves to Jersey Lilies what bewildering sights we see!</p> -<p class='line0'>One listened on the instant to all the Serpent said;</p> -<p class='line0'>The other paid attention right away to Floral Ned.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>With a blow as with a hammer the intruder broke the ice,</p> -<p class='line0'>And the proud and queenly beauty seemed to think it awful nice.</p> -<p class='line0'>Mr. Gale, as he beheld it, with a trembling heart began</p> -<p class='line0'>To realise he really was a most astonished man.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Shall I tell you how he wooed her? shall I tell you how he won?</p> -<p class='line0'>How they had a hasty wedding ere the evening was done?</p> -<p class='line0'>For when all things were considered, the fond couple thought it best—</p> -<p class='line0'>Such things are not uncommon in the wild and rapid West.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Dale obtained the thousand dollars, and then vanished with the dream.</p> -<p class='line0'>Gale stayed in town with sorrow, like a spoon behind the cream;</p> -<p class='line0'>Till one morning in the paper he read, though not in rhymes,</p> -<p class='line0'>How a certain blooming couple had been married fifty times!</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='248' id='Page_248'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>How they wandered o’er the country; how the bridegroom used to bet</p> -<p class='line0'>He would wed the girl that evening,—how he always pulled the debt;</p> -<p class='line0'>How his eyes were large and greensome; how, in fact, to end the tale,</p> -<p class='line0'>Their very latest victim was a fine young man named Gale.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='249' id='Page_249'></span><h1>ARIZONA JOHN</h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>When in a situation it always pays the best</p> -<p class='line0'>To have your wits about you, for it helps the interest;</p> -<p class='line0'>And a man gets so encouraged by succeedin’ when he tries,</p> -<p class='line0'>That the more you crowd him downward, the more he’s bound to rise.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>As when near Tres Alamos, while workin’ at his mine,</p> -<p class='line0'>John Lyons, late of Tombstone, without the least design</p> -<p class='line0'>To involve himself whatever in any kind of tricks,</p> -<p class='line0'>Got inside an unprovided and a most unpleasant fix.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>John Lyons, late of Tombstone, had but just put in a blast,</p> -<p class='line0'>When he saw four buck Apaches approximatin’ fast</p> -<p class='line0'>Upon their headlong horses in a rackaloose career,</p> -<p class='line0'>And every one preceded by a long projectin’ spear:</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='250' id='Page_250'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>He had planted all the powder, and was just atop the shaft,</p> -<p class='line0'>While the foemen kept a-comin’ like as they was telegrapht.</p> -<p class='line0'>To run was to be taken, and to stay was to be slew—</p> -<p class='line0'>And in such a situation how-whatever could he do?</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Bein’ quick upon the trigger Lyons did not stop to choose,</p> -<p class='line0'>For a match was in his fingers, so he lighted up the fuse,</p> -<p class='line0'>And dropped behind a boulder for to disabuse their aim,</p> -<p class='line0'>When at him like a sheriff’s writ full dig the Injuns came.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>He had timed the fuse so nicely that the ’Paches reached the rock</p> -<p class='line0'>Exactly at the nick of the explosionary shock:</p> -<p class='line0'>Bang! How the big rock busted as the powder gave a flare!</p> -<p class='line0'>While a rain of stones and gravel went a-thunderin’ through the air.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>It was four red Apaches who also had a rise,</p> -<p class='line0'>And started for the hunting-grounds on horseback thro’ the skies;</p> -<p class='line0'>Or as if they had the notion, but recalled it there and then,</p> -<p class='line0'>For they speedily descended as four non-existent men.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='251' id='Page_251'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>John Lyons, late of Tombstone, just down behind his rock,</p> -<p class='line0'>Escaped the influential effect of such a shock,</p> -<p class='line0'>And examinin’ the prospect, he very plainly sees</p> -<p class='line0'>He has worked the blast quite perfect—likewise slammed his enemies.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>When narratin’ the adventure which I’ve chanted in my song,</p> -<p class='line0'>If he terms them “blasted Injuns” no one calls his language strong—</p> -<p class='line0'>For their hopes were surely blasted which they fondly reckoned on,</p> -<p class='line0'>And with patent giant-powder by this Arizona John.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='252' id='Page_252'></span><h1>THE BALLAD OF CHARITY</h1></div> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>It was in a pleasant deepô, sequestered from the rain,</p> -<p class='line0'>That many weary passengers were waitin’ for the train;</p> -<p class='line0'>Piles of quite expensive baggage, many a gorgeous portmantó,</p> -<p class='line0'>Ivory-handled umberellas made a most touristic show.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Whereunto there came a person, very humble was his mien,</p> -<p class='line0'>Who took an observation of the interestin’ scene;</p> -<p class='line0'>Closely scanned the umberellas, watched with joy the mighty trunks,</p> -<p class='line0'>And observed that all the people were securin’ Pullman bunks:</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Who was followed shortly after by a most unhappy tramp,</p> -<p class='line0'>Upon whose features poverty had jounced her iron stamp;</p> -<p class='line0'>And to make a clear impression as bees sting you while they buzz,</p> -<p class='line0'>She had hit him rather harder than she generally does.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='253' id='Page_253'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>For he was so awful ragged, and in parts so awful bare,</p> -<p class='line0'>That the folks were quite repulsioned to behold him begging there;</p> -<p class='line0'>And instead of drawing currency from out their pocket-books,</p> -<p class='line0'>They drew themselves asunder with aversionary looks.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Sternly gazed the first newcomer on the unindulgent crowd,</p> -<p class='line0'>Then in tones which pierced the deepô he solilicussed aloud:—</p> -<p class='line0'>“I hev trevelled o’er this cont’nent from Quebec to Bogotáw,</p> -<p class='line0'>But setch a set of scallawags as these I never saw.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“Ye are wealthy, ye are gifted, ye have house and lands and rent,</p> -<p class='line0'>Yet unto a suff’rin’ mortal ye will not donate a cent;</p> -<p class='line0'>Ye expend your missionaries to the heathen and the Jew,</p> -<p class='line0'>But there isn’t any heathen that is half as small as you.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“Ye are lucky—ye hev cheque-books and deeposits in the bank,</p> -<p class='line0'>And ye squanderate your money on the titled folks of rank;</p> -<p class='line0'>The onyx and the sardonyx upon your garments shine,</p> -<p class='line0'>An’ ye drink at every dinner p’r’aps a dollar’s wuth of wine.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='254' id='Page_254'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“Ye are goin’ for the summer to the islands by the sea,</p> -<p class='line0'>Where it costs four dollars daily—setch is not for setch as me;</p> -<p class='line0'>Iv’ry-handled umberellers do not come into my plan,</p> -<p class='line0'>But I kin give a dollar to this suff’rin’ fellow-man.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>“Hand-bags made of Rooshy leather are not truly at my call,</p> -<p class='line0'>Yet in the eyes of Mussy I am richer ’en you all,</p> -<p class='line0'>For I kin give a dollar wher’ you dare not stand a dime,</p> -<p class='line0'>And never miss it nother, nor regret it any time.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Sayin’ this he drew a wallet from the inner of his vest,</p> -<p class='line0'>And gave the tramp a daddy, which it was his level best;</p> -<p class='line0'>Other people havin’ heard him soon to charity inclined—</p> -<p class='line0'>One giver soon makes twenty if you only get their wind.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>The first who gave the dollar led the other one about,</p> -<p class='line0'>And at every contribution he a-raised a joyful shout,</p> -<p class='line0'>Exclaimin’ how ’twas noble to relieviate distress,</p> -<p class='line0'>And remarkin’ that our duty is our present happiness.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='pageno' title='255' id='Page_255'></span></p> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Thirty dollars altogether were collected by the tramp,</p> -<p class='line0'>When he bid ’em all good evenin’ and went out into the damp,</p> -<p class='line0'>And was followed briefly after by the one who made the speech,</p> -<p class='line0'>And who showed by good example how to practise as to preach.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Which soon around the corner the couple quickly met,</p> -<p class='line0'>And the tramp produced the specie for to liquidate his debt;</p> -<p class='line0'>And the man who did the preachin’ took his twenty of the sum,</p> -<p class='line0'>Which you see that out of thirty left a tenner for the bum.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And the couple passed the summer at Bar Harbour with the rest,</p> -<p class='line0'>Greatly changed in their appearance and most elegantly dressed.</p> -<p class='line0'>Any fowl with change of feathers may a brilliant bird become:</p> -<p class='line0'>Oh, how hard is life for many! oh, how sweet it is for some!</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='256' id='Page_256'></span><h1>MULTUM IN PARVO</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>“Great thoughts are oft expressed in fewest words,”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And I remember how long years ago,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>When a great lady in her diary</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of a short visit to the Scottish land,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Recorded of a sorrowful event,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“To-day poor little Vicky, by mischance,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Sat on a wasps’ nest.” All the newspapers</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Declared it was a perfect masterpiece</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of excellent conciseness. Yet I think</p> -<p class='dramaline'>It was outdone by a Red Indian—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>One of the Quoddy tribe—who did the same;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Since he, like “little Vicky,” also sat</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Upon a seat as hot; and when he rose,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Briefly exclaimed in his vernacular:—</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='257' id='Page_257'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>“<span class='it'>H’lam-kikqu’!</span>” and being asked what this</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Might mean, responded in the English tongue:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“<span class='it'>Heap hell!</span>” O reader! if the soul of wit</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Be brevity, this Indian was there.</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='258' id='Page_258'></span><h1>THE ORGANIST OF BERGAMO</h1></div> - -<div class='literal-container' style=''><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:.8em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>“For blowing is not playing on the flute,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>To do that well you must put fingers to’t.”</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='text-align:right;margin-right:0em;font-size:.8em;'><span class='sc'>German Proverb.</span></p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>This is a Merry Tale of Bergamo.</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line0'>It chanced in Fifteen Hundred Twenty-Eight</p> -<p class='line0'>[As I do find the fact recorded in</p> -<p class='line0'>A pleasing book of Sixteen Thirty-Six</p> -<p class='line0'>Entitled <span class='it'>Scelta di Facetie</span>—</p> -<p class='line0'>A little yellow, quaint, italic tome,</p> -<p class='line0'>Which looks as if it were behind the age,</p> -<p class='line0'>And would have been black letter if it could]</p> -<p class='line0'>That in fair Venice raged a pestilence</p> -<p class='line0'>Whereof in time full many people died,</p> -<p class='line0'>And among these a trusty servitor</p> -<p class='line0'>Who blew the bellows for the organist</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='259' id='Page_259'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>All in the great Cathedral of Saint Mark,</p> -<p class='line0'>Whose billowy pavement truly seems to roll</p> -<p class='line0'>In time and measure with the music sweet,</p> -<p class='line0'>So perfect were the harmonies of Art</p> -<p class='line0'>Which men imagined in the olden time.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now as this man had died while at his work,</p> -<p class='line0'>Even while blowing a <span class='it'>Magnificat</span></p> -<p class='line0'>All in the holy church, it was adjudged</p> -<p class='line0'>That he almost deserved to be a saint.</p> -<p class='line0'>And he who preached the sermon over him</p> -<p class='line0'>Said that “his soul had risen on the notes</p> -<p class='line0'>Of the grand anthem which he had inspired,</p> -<p class='line0'>And having reached the Music all divine</p> -<p class='line0'>Had softly sunk, as light is lost in light,</p> -<p class='line0'>Into the pure Celestial.” Here he stopped.</p> -<p class='line0'>Men were great preachers in the olden time.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>It happened that a certain Giannolo,</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>Facchino Bergamasco</span>, or a man</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='260' id='Page_260'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>From Bergamo, a porter by his trade,</p> -<p class='line0'>Who carried heavy burdens, yet withal</p> -<p class='line0'>Was not o’erburdened with a load of wit,</p> -<p class='line0'>Hearing this sermon, got it in his head—</p> -<p class='line0'>And no great wonder either—that the late</p> -<p class='line0'>Departed bellows-blower must have been</p> -<p class='line0'>The Chief Musician of the Holy House;</p> -<p class='line0'>And knowing that the man who bloweth up</p> -<p class='line0'>A pair of bagpipes also is the one</p> -<p class='line0'>Who plays upon the same—drew inference</p> -<p class='line0'>That the deceased was the true organist,</p> -<p class='line0'>And he who played thereon his humble aid,</p> -<p class='line0'>Who only worked to keep the tune in time.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Now being smitten with a deep desire</p> -<p class='line0'>To rise in life and also to be called</p> -<p class='line0'>A Child of Art—with a nice salary—</p> -<p class='line0'>And have a sermon preached o’er him when dead,</p> -<p class='line0'>Giannolo unto the Bishop went,</p> -<p class='line0'>And made a great entreaty to be placed</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='261' id='Page_261'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>Among the holy followers of Saint Mark,</p> -<p class='line0'>And that the aim of his ambition was</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>Alzare i mantici quando suonava</span></p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>gli organi</span>—that’s to say:</p> -<p class='line0'>“To lift the bellows when the organ played.”</p> -<p class='line0'>And as he was a stout and lusty knave</p> -<p class='line0'>Who might be useful in a hundred ways,</p> -<p class='line0'>They gladly took him on, so there he stayed</p> -<p class='line0'>Blowing the bellows faithfully in time.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>I ween there is not in all Italy</p> -<p class='line0'>A man—unless he came from Bergamo—</p> -<p class='line0'>Who could have blown an organ seven years</p> -<p class='line0'>In the full faith that he was playing it,</p> -<p class='line0'>And was indeed the real organist.</p> -<p class='line0'>Yet this, in fact, unless the legend lies,</p> -<p class='line0'>Was what befell Giannolo. By this time,</p> -<p class='line0'>Having laid by a very handsome sum,</p> -<p class='line0'>And being well attired though modestly,</p> -<p class='line0'>As is becoming to a Son of Art,</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='262' id='Page_262'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>He went a-visiting his native place,</p> -<p class='line0'>Where all who were related unto him—</p> -<p class='line0'>That is to say about one-half the town—</p> -<p class='line0'>Did greatly marvel at his handsome clothes</p> -<p class='line0'>And at his air of stately dignity,</p> -<p class='line0'>But most of all when he informed them that</p> -<p class='line0'>He was no more a porter: he had felt</p> -<p class='line0'>Immortal longings in him to arise</p> -<p class='line0'>Above that vulgar calling, and to soar</p> -<p class='line0'>“ ’Mid palpitations sweet and pleasures soft,</p> -<p class='line0'>The manifestations of that beauteous life</p> -<p class='line0'>Diffused unseen throughout eternal Space”</p> -<p class='line0'>Which men call Music; and that he had risen</p> -<p class='line0'>Even to a monthly salary of ten francs,</p> -<p class='line0'>Wherewith were many pleasing perquisites;</p> -<p class='line0'>And that he played the organ in Saint Mark’s,</p> -<p class='line0'>As all the world allowed, in perfect time.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Up rose a buzz of strangest wonderment,</p> -<p class='line0'>Or, as ’tis writ, <span class='it'>Di che restarono</span></p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='263' id='Page_263'></span></p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>Più maravigliati</span>; for they all</p> -<p class='line0'>Were much amazed that such a common man—</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>Si vile e si rozzo</span>—such a boor—</p> -<p class='line0'>Had risen to the pinnacle of Art</p> -<p class='line0'>In Venice, where all Art was at its height,</p> -<p class='line0'>And gained the crown of glory—<span class='it'>Iddio</span>!</p> -<p class='line0'>“Ten francs a month besides the perquisites!”</p> -<p class='line0'>They bowed before him with deep reverence,</p> -<p class='line0'>Hoping he’d stay with them a little time.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>Then some one spoke with hesitating tone,</p> -<p class='line0'>As if in fear to take a liberty,</p> -<p class='line0'>And said: “Your Excellence—if we might dare—</p> -<p class='line0'>Since we would celebrate the kind return</p> -<p class='line0'>Of such an Honour to our noble town,</p> -<p class='line0'>Would you not grace the occasion, and increase</p> -<p class='line0'>Our joy and sense of deep respectfulness,</p> -<p class='line0'>By playing Vespers for us in the Dome</p> -<p class='line0'>On Sunday next?” Giannolo bowed low,</p> -<p class='line0'>And in a speech adorned with many flowers,</p> -<p class='line0'>Which he had culled from sermons in Saint Mark,</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='264' id='Page_264'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>Acceded gracefully to their request,</p> -<p class='line0'>And said he would be there to play, in time.</p> -<p class='line0'>When Sunday came there came with it a crowd</p> -<p class='line0'>Such as Bergamo never saw before,</p> -<p class='line0'>For in her streets and past her palaces</p> -<p class='line0'>Thousands in holiday attire swept on,</p> -<p class='line0'>And even afar there was a thundering roar,</p> -<p class='line0'>From time to time, which rolled from square to square,</p> -<p class='line0'>As when the incoming ocean, with a tide</p> -<p class='line0'>Urged by a tempest, breaks among the rocks.</p> -<p class='line0'>Yea, there were many—<span class='it'>tanto popolo</span>—</p> -<p class='line0'>All that the church would hold, and then outside</p> -<p class='line0'>A vast, impatient, brilliant multitude,</p> -<p class='line0'>Such as had ne’er been there at any time.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>And at the appointed hour Giannolo came,</p> -<p class='line0'>Rising before the people in his state,</p> -<p class='line0'>Waiting awhile the appearance of the man</p> -<p class='line0'>Who was to play the organ while he—blew!</p> -<p class='line0'>And all the congregation waited too,</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='265' id='Page_265'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>All staring steadily at the great man</p> -<p class='line0'>In anxious expectation, till at last</p> -<p class='line0'>Giannolo from the pulpit cried aloud:</p> -<p class='line0'>“Where is the man who is to touch the keys?</p> -<p class='line0'>What is the use of making music, hey—</p> -<p class='line0'>And filling up the thing with melody,</p> -<p class='line0'>As I have come to do, unless there be</p> -<p class='line0'>Some one to click the bones and let it out?</p> -<p class='line0'>You don’t suppose that I can raise the wind,</p> -<p class='line0'>And steer, and sail the ship as well, my friends.</p> -<p class='line0'>Such things were ne’er beheld at any time.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'>There was an instant’s silence—deep and strange;</p> -<p class='line0'>In all the great cathedral rang no sound.</p> -<p class='line0'>All stared at one another open-eyed,</p> -<p class='line0'>Or at Giannolo—just as if some power</p> -<p class='line0'>Before unknown in life had seized on them</p> -<p class='line0'>With a tremendous sense of dire amaze,</p> -<p class='line0'>Not knowing what the devil it could mean;</p> -<p class='line0'>When all at once they <span class='it'>took</span>—and from them all</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='266' id='Page_266'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>There rose a roar of laughter like a crash</p> -<p class='line0'>Of thunder, and so near it that one seemed</p> -<p class='line0'>To miss the lightning—or, as I might say,</p> -<p class='line0'>’Twas like a flash of sound—and then again</p> -<p class='line0'>It came re-echoed from the multitude</p> -<p class='line0'>Gathered outside, as the electric peal</p> -<p class='line0'>Resounds, repeated by the mountain tops.</p> -<p class='line0'>Yea, such a peal of laughter as the book</p> -<p class='line0'>Declares “at vespers ne’er was heard before,”</p> -<p class='line0'>And ne’er again will be at any time.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<hr class='tbk100'/> - -<div class='poetry-container' style=''><div class='lgp'> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line0'><span class='it'>Moral.</span> I pray you think upon it well.</p> -<p class='line0'>      There are full many people in this world</p> -<p class='line0'>      Who think that they are wondrous wise in <span class='sc'>art</span>,</p> -<p class='line0'>      And who, as Critics, write about the same</p> -<p class='line0'>      In transcendental phrase with capitals,</p> -<p class='line0'>      And call it Faith, and Love, and Heaven knows what,</p> -<p class='line0'>      And cannot think of it without a gasp</p> -<p class='line0'>      And uttering phrases silly, mystical,—</p> -<p class='line0'><span class='pageno' title='267' id='Page_267'></span></p> -<p class='line0'>      Because they are the empty, windy ones,</p> -<p class='line0'>      Inflating and inflated, who but blow</p> -<p class='line0'>      The bellows of the organ, yet believe</p> -<p class='line0'>      That they are leaders in the Realm of Art!</p> -</div></div> <!-- end poetry block --><!-- end rend --> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='268' id='Page_268'></span><h1>THE GOTH AND THE PIGEON</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Among the merry tales of olden time</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which are still current in fair Italy</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Are many told in taverns or in type</p> -<p class='dramaline'>About the rude barbarians of the North</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who cross the Alps, even as they did of yore,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>When they invaded fertile Lombardy,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And helped themselves to all which pleased their eyes,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And paid for it in iron and with blood:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Those times are fled, but Northmen still are here;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>States fall, arts fade, but English yet abound,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And Austrian-Germans and Americans</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Stalk proudly through the streets with Baedeker,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or Murray, with the very gait and air</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of their barbarian ancestors—although</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='269' id='Page_269'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>They are cleaner washed and more completely shaved—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Bet high upon the latter; for as once</p> -<p class='dramaline'>They came to rob the natives of their goods,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The latter now do live by spoiling them.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And thus strange things do happen in this world.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Thus we may note that all these foreigners,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Be it the daintiest English dame alive,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or damsel born in fair America,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or Russians of a royal family,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or Frenchmen of the very noblest stock,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or Viennese as elegant and <span class='it'>fesch</span><a id='r12'/><a href='#f12' style='text-decoration:none'><sup><span style='font-size:0.9em'>[12]</span></sup></a></p> -<p class='dramaline'>As even Viennese can be produced—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Wherein they wellnigh rival Baltimore—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Are still regarded by the Italian with</p> -<p class='dramaline'>A doubtful smile, who as he smiles exclaims:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“<span class='it'>Sono forestieri</span>”—which indeed</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Means “They are foreigners”—and yet the word</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='270' id='Page_270'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Comes from <span class='it'>Foresto</span>—savage—desert—wild—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And so do ancient thorns live round the rose.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And thus strange things do happen in the world.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Now it befell that in the Lombard time</p> -<p class='dramaline'>When Dieterich-Theodoric was king,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And from Ravenna ruled all Italy,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The court religion was the Arian,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To which men nowadays an Unit add,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Yet do not add by the process—that I see—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Aught to its value; but the odd result</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Was that the Gothic warriors nothing knew</p> -<p class='dramaline'>About the mystery of the Trinity,—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Nay, they were even far more ignorant</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Than was the English curate, who when asked</p> -<p class='dramaline'>What he did understand by the Holy Ghost,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Replied: “I am not sure, but I believe</p> -<p class='dramaline'>It is a kind of pigeon.” These poor Goths</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Had never learned so much as this youth knew.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And thus strange things do happen in the world.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='271' id='Page_271'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Now it befell that once a Visigoth</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Stately, while all unconscious of his state,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And proud while nothing thinking of his pride,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Went stalking onwards through the streets of Rome,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Unheeding all the casual passers-by</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who turned to look at him—as a grave bull</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Might walk through many sheep—or as my lord</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Guy de Plantagenet just now walked by</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Before my window, where I writing sit,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In Florence—true he came <span class='it'>bien à propos</span>.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And thus strange things do happen in this world.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Well then, this fierce barbarian from the North,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Who as I said was densely ignorant</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of Trinitarian theology,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Was not much further in the Italian tongue,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Seeing that that which he essayed to speak</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Was of the <span class='it'>pidgin</span> kind,—oh, marvel strange!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Oh, wondrous miracle!—lo, how the Muse</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Brings up that word to keep me to my tale!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Ah! what strange things do happen in this world!</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='272' id='Page_272'></span></p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Now as he strode along the Roman street,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>With thoughts of dinner flitting through his soul,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Lifting his eyes he saw upon a sign</p> -<p class='dramaline'>The picture of a dove with outspread wings</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Above the door of a <span class='it'>trattoria</span>,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Which means a place where you can treat yourself</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To what you want—that is, a restaurant.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And ’neath the bird he read inscribed in gold:</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='it'>Spirito Santo</span>; and he gazed at it,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And took an object-lesson, and exclaimed:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“So <span class='it'>that</span> is the Italian for a dove!</p> -<p class='dramaline'>I must remember it.” So in he went</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Repeating ever to himself the words</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“<span class='it'>Spirito Santo! Santo Spirito!</span>”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Those who o’erheard him deemed him a devout</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And fervid follower of the Trinity.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And thus strange things do happen in the world.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>And having sat him down, the waiter came</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And asked His Excellence what he would have;</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='273' id='Page_273'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>To which his Gothic Excellence replied:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“I want a bottle of your noblest wine,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>With it a soup of highest quality,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And after that a roast San’ Spirito!”</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“A roasted—<span class='sc'>what</span>? Signore,” cried the man,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>As one who had not rightly understood,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>While all the guests around did glare amazed.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“I said,” resumed the Northern warrior,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>“A <span class='it'>Spirito Santo</span>, such as you have got</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Upon your sign outside—a <span class='it'>bird</span>, you know,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>That moves its wings like this”—and here he moved</p> -<p class='dramaline'>His bended arms like wings, both up and down,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>While with his voice he murmured <span class='it'>Coo-oo-oo!</span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or what is called in French a <span class='it'>roucoulement</span>,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or <span class='it'>girren</span> in the German. Hearing this,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>All who were present promptly understood;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And though they all were naturally polite,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And never laughed at any foreigner</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Before his face, because he erred in words,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>This was too—too—too much, and all burst out</p> -<p class='dramaline'>In a tremendous—an Homeric roar.</p> -<p class='dramaline'><span class='pageno' title='274' id='Page_274'></span></p> -<p class='dramaline'>They drew the line at pigeons; and the Goth</p> -<p class='dramaline'>When ’twas explained laughed loudest of them all;</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And thus it was he learned another word.</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And thus strange things do happen in the world.</p> - -<hr class='footnotemark'/> - -<div class='footnote'> -<table summary='footnote_12'> -<colgroup> -<col span='1' style='width: 3em;'/> -<col span='1'/> -</colgroup> -<tr><td style='vertical-align:top;'> -<div id='f12'><a href='#r12'>[12]</a></div> -</td><td> - -<p class='pindent'>A very peculiar Viennese slang word, signifying stylish or elegant. It is supposed -to be an abbreviation of the mispronunciation of the English word fashionable—<span class='it'>Germanicé</span>, -<span class='it'>feshionable</span>.</p> - -</td></tr> -</table> -</div> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='275' id='Page_275'></span><h1>REFLECTIONS IN A PRINTING-OFFICE</h1></div> - -<div class='dramastart'><!----></div> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Faust means a fist—a fist can hit, I ween:</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Faust made the greatest hit that e’er was seen.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>I know not if ’twas Guttenberg</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Or Faust who first began</p> -<p class='dramaline'>To print—the honour was too great</p> -<p class='dramaline'>For any single man.</p> - -<p class='dramaline-cont'>Printing is called the Art of Arts,</p> -<p class='dramaline'>And typos then are artists—right—</p> -<p class='dramaline'>They are the nobler counterparts</p> -<p class='dramaline'>Of those who work in Black and White.</p> - -<div><span class='pageno' title='277' id='Page_277'></span><h1>APPENDIX</h1></div> - -<h3 id='a2'>ORBUS IN TACTU MAINET.—P. 2</h3> - -<p class='noindent'>THERE were in Philadelphia, forty years ago, two sailors’ groggeries in -Water Street, both having the sign of The Boy and Barrel, derived from -the infant Bacchus. One of these had for motto the words exactly as here -misspelt and divided.</p> - -<h3>TIME FOR US TO GO.—P. 64</h3> - -<p class='pindent'>In one of his admirable papers, “At the Sign of the Ship,” published -in the <span class='it'>Cornhill Magazine</span>, Mr. Andrew Lang, in discussing Sea Songs, wrote -the following:—</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“In an unpublished play by Mr. Henley and Mr. R. L. Stevenson, a -play called <span class='it'>Admiral Guinea</span>, that veteran ruffian, Mr. Pew of Treasure -Island, makes his appearance. He has been a sailor of Admiral Guinea’s -in the slave trade, and he haunts the evangelical and remorseful Admiral -like an evil conscience, singing snatches of the following ‘Slaver’s Song.’ -Mr. Henley has kindly copied out the whole piece, which was published -in Mr. Leland’s ‘Captain Jonas Fisher’ in <span class='it'>Temple Bar</span> about fourteen -years ago. Whether the ballad is traditional and collected by Mr. Leland, -<span class='pageno' title='278' id='Page_278'></span> -or whether to himself is due the great credit of the authorship, I am not -aware.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Truly I am not the author of the song which I picked up in Philadelphia -before the War, nor do I know who wrote it. I am tolerably -certain, however, that I, having slightly retouched it, republished it in -<span class='it'>Temple Bar</span> as quoted. There are, however, others besides Mr. Lang who -think I wrote it, so I give it here in order to make truth known, but chiefly -because it is in keeping with other specimens of sailors’ lyrical folk-lore in -these pages, and will be acceptable to all who like such ballads.</p> - -<h3 id='a99'>SAMUEL JACKSON.—P. 99</h3> - -<p class='pindent'>“And of the heathen natives with their suppositious wiles.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I once crossed the Atlantic in a sailing-vessel, sharing my state-room -with a veteran sea-captain who had been for forty years in the whaling -service. He had an inexhaustible stock of sea-folk-lore, which he freely -imparted to me who was an eager listener, and as the voyage lasted <span class='it'>thirty-five</span> -days I had opportunity to gather much. I am indebted to him for -this amusing interchange of words. When telling me that he once went -incognito to revisit his old home in Connecticut he said, “I passed under -a superstitious name.”</p> - -<p class='line' style='text-align:center;margin-top:3em;margin-bottom:5em;font-size:.8em;'>THE END</p> - -<p class='line' style='text-align:center;font-size:.6em;'><span class='it'>Printed by</span> <span class='sc'>R. & R. Clark</span>, <span class='it'>Edinburgh</span></p> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<p class='line' style='text-align:center;margin-top:4em;margin-bottom:1em;font-size:1.2em;'><span class='gesp'>NEW NOVELS</span>.</p> - -<p class='line' style='text-align:center;font-size:.8em;'><span class='it'>At all the Libraries.</span></p> - -<hr class='tbk101'/> - -<table id='tab3' summary='' class='center' style='font-size:.8em;'> -<colgroup> -<col span='1' style='width: 15em;'/> -<col span='1' style='width: 15em;'/> -</colgroup> -<tr><td class='tab3c1 tdStyle2'>JOHN DARKER</td><td class='tab3c2 tdStyle2'>By <span class='sc'>Aubrey Lee</span>.</td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab3c1 tdStyle2'>A ROMANCE OF DIJON</td><td class='tab3c2 tdStyle2'>By <span class='sc'>M. Betham-Edwards</span>.</td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab3c1 tdStyle2'>POSTE RESTANTE</td><td class='tab3c2 tdStyle2'>By <span class='sc'>C. Y. Hargreaves</span>.</td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab3c1 tdStyle2'>MARGARET DRUMMOND</td><td class='tab3c2 tdStyle2'>By <span class='sc'>Sophie F. F. Veitch</span>.</td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab3c1 tdStyle2'>PAUL ROMER</td><td class='tab3c2 tdStyle2'>By <span class='sc'>C. Y. Hargreaves</span>.</td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab3c1 tdStyle2'>MY INDIAN SUMMER</td><td class='tab3c2 tdStyle2'>By Princess <span class='sc'>Altieri</span>.</td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab3c1 tdStyle2'>THE CURB OF HONOUR</td><td class='tab3c2 tdStyle2'>By <span class='sc'>M. Betham-Edwards</span>.</td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab3c1 tdStyle2'>BORN IN EXILE</td><td class='tab3c2 tdStyle2'>By <span class='sc'>George Gissing</span>.</td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab3c1 tdStyle2'>THE GREAT CHIN EPISODE</td><td class='tab3c2 tdStyle2'>By <span class='sc'>Paul Cushing</span>.</td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab3c1 tdStyle2'>THE LAST TOUCHES</td><td class='tab3c2 tdStyle2'>By Mrs. <span class='sc'>W. K. Clifford</span>.</td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab3c1 tdStyle2'>A TANGLED WEB</td><td class='tab3c2 tdStyle2'>By Lady <span class='sc'>Lindsay</span>.</td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab3c1 tdStyle2'>THE PHILOSOPHER’S WINDOW</td><td class='tab3c2 tdStyle2'>By Lady <span class='sc'>Lindsay</span>.</td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab3c1 tdStyle2'>CAP AND GOWN COMEDY</td><td class='tab3c2 tdStyle2'>By <span class='sc'>Ascott R. Hope</span>.</td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab3c1 tdStyle2'>UNDER TWO SKIES</td><td class='tab3c2 tdStyle2'>By <span class='sc'>E. W. Hornung</span>.</td></tr> -</table> - -<hr class='tbk102'/> - -<div class='lgc' style=''> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line'>ADAM AND CHARLES BLACK,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>SOHO SQUARE, LONDON.</p> -</div> <!-- end rend --> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<div class='lgc' style=''> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line'>THE</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:1.5em;'>POETICAL</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:1.5em;'>WORKS</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.6em;'>OF</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:1.2em;'>SIR WALTER SCOTT, Bart.</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line'>Selected and Edited, with Introduction and Notes,</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.6em;'>BY</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:1.2em;'>ANDREW LANG</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line'>In 2 vols., Crown 8vo, Price 5s. in Cloth; or 6s. Half-Bound</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line'>Uniform with the Dryburgh Edition of the</p> -<p class='line'>Waverley Novels</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<hr class='tbk103'/> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>ADAM AND CHARLES BLACK,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:.8em;'>SOHO SQUARE, LONDON.</p> -</div> <!-- end rend --> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<div><h1>TRANSCRIBER NOTES</h1></div> - -<p class='pindent'>Misspelled words and printer errors have been corrected.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Inconsistencies in punctuation have been maintained.</p> - -<p class='line'> </p> - -<p class='noindent'>[The end of <span class='it'>Songs of the Sea and Lays of the -Land</span>, by Charles Godfrey Leland.]</p> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Songs of the Sea and Lays of the Land, by -Charles Godfrey Leland - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SONGS OF THE SEA, LAYS OF THE LAND *** - -***** This file should be named 50666-h.htm or 50666-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/0/6/6/50666/ - -Produced by Larry Harrison, Cindy Beyer, Ross Cooling and -the online Project Gutenberg team at -http://www.pgdpcanada.net with images provided by The -Internet Archives-US - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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