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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..17f2dd4 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #50147 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/50147) diff --git a/old/50147-0.txt b/old/50147-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 1f9eab0..0000000 --- a/old/50147-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1416 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Beaver, by John Kettelwell - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Beaver - An Alphabet of typical Specimens, together with Notes and - a terminal Essay on the Manners and Customs of Beavering Men - -Author: John Kettelwell - -Release Date: October 6, 2015 [EBook #50147] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BEAVER *** - - - - -Produced by David Edwards, Fay Dunn and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - - - - - - - - - -Transcriber’s Note - - -In this text version of “Beaver”: - words in italics are marked with _underscores_, - words in bold are marked with =equals signs=, - words in small capitals are shown in UPPER CASE, - handwritten words are marked with +plus signs+, and - crossed out words are marked with *asterisks*. - - -Each illustration of a beard originally faced the beard’s description. -These have been moved to follow the title of the type of beard. - -Footnotes have been moved to the end of the paragraph to which they -refer. - -Variant spelling and inconsistent hyphenation are retained. - -Minor changes have been made to make punctuation consistent. - - - - - _With respectful affection to the illustrious memory of_ - SHAGPAT, _the son of_ SHIMPOOR, _the son of_ SHOOLPI, _the - son of_ SHULLUM. - - - - - BEAVER - - BY - - JOHN KETTELWELL - - _An Alphabet of typical Specimens, together with - Notes and a terminal Essay on the Manners - and Customs of Beavering Men_ - - LONDON: - - T. WERNER LAURIE, LTD. - - 30, NEW BRIDGE STREET, E.C. 4 - - - - -A. - -IS AN ADMIRAL-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Admiral-Beaver] - -The specimen mounted is typical and the coat is good, harsh and not -silky, a common fault in these rough-haired examples. - -An Admiral-King-Beaver is unthinkable ... “derogation of God’s honour,” -etc. - -Though the sport is deservedly popular in the Service, it is attended -by infinite risk should the specimen be of higher rank than the -players. K. R. and A. I. contain no definite ruling as to the legality -or otherwise of the game, but a Court-Martial would probably trip an -unlucky player on “conduct to the prejudice,” etc. - -In civil life (and plain clothes) it is most unusual to be able to -score these specimens, hence the different values of Rear-Admirals, -Vice-Admirals, etc., is not given, nor those of the various branches of -the Service, Executive, Engineer, and the like. - - - - -B. - -IS A BALD-KING-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Bald-King-Beaver] - -That depicted is a magnificent specimen in full winter-coat. - -They are not common, but occur frequently--the apparent paradox is -explained by the fact that they are usually of an extremely retiring -nature, and reside by choice in coigns and nooks. - -For a specimen such as that mounted game should be claimed and nothing -under three points accepted; rather call off the match and communicate -with the Association. - -In scoring really fine specimens in full winter-coat extra points can, -and should be, claimed for purity of tint, bushiness, etc. - - - - -C. - -IS A CENTAUR-KING-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Centaur-King-Beaver] - -There is no record of a specimen being scored. Probably the last -person to do so may have been Jason. The best authorities assume this, -adducing as contributory evidence his later, passionate quest of the -Golden Fleece. Ourselves we regard it as more likely that Chiron was -never scored, Jason being held back by the natural delicacy of one -_in statu pupillari_. In fact, Chiron was, almost certainly, a “local -double-fault.” - - - - -D. - -IS A DOUBLE-FAULT. - - -[Illustration: Double-Fault] - -This question is dealt with in the terminal essay. - -The specimen is a good one, and no player who is deceived by a growth -of this kind need feel the smallest depression. It is the kind of thing -that might happen to anyone. - -A young specimen, darker than dark brindle, has, I believe, never been -scored. - - - - -E. - -IS AN ECCLESIASTICAL-KING-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Ecclesiastical-King-Beaver] - -Rare in general, there are frequently to be found in Cathedral cities -large coveys, not very strong on the wing. - -Local rules should be consulted as to the scoring. Fine specimens count -at least three points. - -I myself, recently, claimed an Ecclesiastical-King, in a country town, -and was awarded two games for it; a well-known local rarity of which -the place is justly proud. - -It was a superb specimen, in good coat, a darkish brindle, and in -official robes. - - - - -F. - -IS A FRINGED-GEORGIC-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Fringed-Georgic-Beaver] - -The species is less common than formerly. Some purists refuse to score -these Fringed-Georgics on the plea that the upper lip is bare and the -_chin_ partially bare and that they are, therefore, double-faults. The -general ruling is that as the adornment _circumnavigates_ the face the -chin is not bare, the bareness of the upper lip is immaterial and the -specimen should be scored; one point in the country, three points in -London. - - - - -G. - -IS A GALLIC-KING-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration Gallic-King-Beaver] - -The game is almost unplayable in France. Owing to the superabundance of -specimens only rarities should be scored. - -A report has just been received from Cap D’Antibes of a “magnificent -Wasp-Waisted-King.” Game was called. No information was sent -(correspondents are deplorably slack) as to colour or coat. - -Good players, in France, lay great stress on minute differences in -colour and characteristic, _i.e._, crimped, curled, waved, rat-tail, -wuzzy, wild-garden, etc. - - - - -H. - -IS A HALF-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Half-Beaver] - -These delightful specimens are now, unhappily, becoming very rare. - -They are still occasionally scored in the neighbourhood of places of -worship and on the seashore. - -Some claim increased points in ratio to the length of the upper lip. - -The specimen mounted (Stockton-on-Tees, 1919), is a fine one, -exhibiting all the marked features of the _genus_, including a most -gratifying labial expanse. - - - - -I. - -IS AN IMPERIAL-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Imperial-Beaver] - -Not common in England; when scored in this country are almost -invariably migrants. - -These amusing specimens are, curiously enough, commoner in winter-coat -than in ordinary plumage. - -There are no tricks about scoring an Imperial. Any specimen with -moustache and a growth beneath the lower lip, of which the parent area -does not extend to the lower edge of the chin, is an Imperial. - -Score three points for a Full-Black; one point for a White. - - - - -J. - -IS A JOO BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Joo Beaver] - -These exotics are fairly common, and local sportsmen can be relied -upon to flush a few on short notice, provided that they are allowed to -choose the beat. - -In many ways curiously attractive, the charm of the species is marred -by the frequent lack of neatness of plumage; as a race they incline to -landscape-gardening with their hirsuteness. - -Carefully note their musical cry of “Oy-Yoy ... Oy Yoy.” A specimen in -full song, when the moon is full, counts game. - -Some experts have a very nice scale--by which they score--of the -curvilinear bill. This is a pretty point and a pleasant _raffinement_, -but too subtle for the ordinary week-end player. Of course any -unusually fine frontal curve should be claimed and scored as a rarity. - - - - -K. - -IS A KILLINGWORTH-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Killingworth-Beaver] - -This specimen is mounted for instructional purposes only. Connoisseurs -and collectors are, of course, entirely _au fait_ with the -deliciousness of this gorgeous creature. - -George Killingworth, in the year 1555, was sent to the court of Ivan -the Terrible (one of the many monarchs who have, from time to time, -taxed Beavers) as the agent of Queen Mary. His beard was five feet -two inches in length and it was yellow. He was without doubt the most -flawless specimen of a Yellow-King ever seen. - -It is considered in the highest degree unlikely that anything -approaching this efflorescence will be noted nowadays, hence no score -is suggested. - - - - -L. - -IS A LICKED-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Licked-Beaver] - -It is worthy of remark in passing that this distinguishing title is due -to the genius of a child--“trailing clouds,” etc.--who, on observing -the first specimen ever scored, cried, “Oh, look; he’s licked it.” - -The species is very rare. Off-shoots of the old stock, in the form -of Semi-Walruses, are occasionally observed, but the Licked-Beaver -is generally regarded as almost extinct. Possibly the cause of this -diminution, if not extinction, may be the increase in the cost of -living. - -The specimen mounted is a very fine one. Should a player have the good -fortune to score a Licked-Beaver, let him remember that it is the -density of the licking, the spear-form, the sharpness, that should be -regarded rather than the length of the portion licked. - - - - -M. - -IS A MANDARIN-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Mandarin-Beaver] - -Even in plain clothes should score two games if seen in England. There -is no ruling as to the points to be scored if observed in this country -in full plumage. - -This specimen is often wrongly catalogued in books of reference as a -Mandarin-King-Beaver. Royalty or Kinghood is impossible for a species -which supports a very notable gap between its central adornment and the -maxillary-fringes. - -The specimen mounted is, so to say, traditional, that is, it is a -transcript of an early-nineteenth century Chinese brush-drawing on silk -in Chinese ink representing a hero, or as we should say, a Beaver. - - - - -N. - -IS A NANNY-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Nanny-Beaver] - -Really good specimens are very rare. They are reported to flourish in -the Eastern farming states of the United States of America, but British -research is lamentably behindhand, and our exact knowledge is quite -fragmentary. - -In any case there is one simple rule for the guidance of the _amateur_; -no Nanny-Beaver can be claimed or scored of which the adornment does -not depend a full two inches from the under-surface of the chin. - - - - -O. - -IS AN ORIENTAL-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Oriental-Beaver] - -These strangely beautiful specimens are rarely seen in this cold -country. - -Those who have had the privilege of observing closely a gaggle of -Orientals in indigenous plumage (the species is pathetically subject to -local changes) will, assuredly, ever prize the recollection. - -The most noteworthy feature, apart from the extraordinarily fine -quality of coat (glossiness, sheen, etc.), is the exotic parting -which lends a wistful charm to the otherwise opulent glories of these -occasional visitors. - -Score always two games (in England); set, if the specimen is in -indigenous plumage. - - - - -P. - -IS A PARTI-COLOUR-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Parti-Colour-Beaver] - -These specimens are curiously attractive and are more often scored than -one would think. Artists, above all others, wax well-nigh lyrical over -the beauties of a well-defined Parti-Colour, one, that is, in which -there is almost no shading, the black being black and the white, white. -The same colouration is observed in the pelt of the Colobus monkey and -justly admired. - -It is not possible to distinguish between natural and artificial -Parti-Colours, unless one should happen to be a relative of the -specimen. All Parti-Colours are, therefore, scored. (Two points.) - - - - -Q. - -IS A QUEEN-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Queen-Beaver] - -It has been objected that it is not gallant to score these undoubted -rarities. Theoretically it is, certainly, not pretty conduct, but, on -the other hand, all is fair in love and war, and ... has any man ever -refused to shoot a rhinoceros on the plea that it was a female? (I -merely ask ... someone may have done so. There may even be a close time -for doe-rhinoes.) Be that as it may, the scoring of Queens is an affair -of lineage. Regard this eighteenth century distich:-- - - “Here is a Pink-Queen, very rare, - Remember to count the sixteenth hair.”[1] - -Queens are always scored extravagantly. Usually game; extra-rarities -two games, and so on. The Pink-Queen is, without doubt, the rarest of -her kind; conversely, when found, she is usually a superb specimen, in -rich coat. The question of Queens is dealt with broadly in the terminal -essay. - -[Footnote 1: Queens cannot be scored unless they have _more_ than -fifteen hairs.] - - - - -R. - -IS A RED-KING-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Red-King-Beaver] - -I feel a very natural emotion on commenting on the sublime specimen -of the Red-King, the ultimate hope of every keen collector, which -is portrayed on the opposite page. Observed outside “The Goose and -Gridiron,” in Slogsby-under-Hill, this noble creature deprived both my -companion (an ex-local champion) and myself of speech for three minutes. - -Had he been carrying a ladder (the _ne-plus-ultra_ of Beaverhood) we -had never recovered from the glory of the revelation. - -Red-Kings score “Game, set, match.” A Red-King on a green bicycle, -carrying a lanthorn (or lantern), scores do. do. “Local Championship.” -A Red-King on a green bicycle carrying a ladder (poor old Pelion!) has -never, alas! been reported up to the present. - -There are dreams of scoring a Red-King, complete with fitments, on a -High Bicycle ... all things are possible, even a ravishment such as -that. - - - - -S. - -IS A SANTA-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Santa-Beaver] - -These are usually scored, though your conscientious expert demurs at so -doing, as it has been held--and the view is well supported by players -of repute--that they are strictly-speaking Double-Faults, the adornment -being temporary. - -The genuine Santa-King-Beaver, complete with reindeer, sleigh and -business with chimney, has never, I believe, been scored. - -Claim a game if you, a stranger adult, score one. - - - - -T. - -IS A TUFTED-KING-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Tufted-King-Beaver] - -It may, perhaps, be thought that this is a fanciful, a pernickety -differentiation--such are to be deplored--but there is a very -distinct species of Beaver--King or ordinary--having these marked -characteristics, and the best players invariably claim a Tufted, and -two points, if they have the luck to espy a specimen such as that -depicted. - -The points to look for are the three patches of foliage in centre -forehead and over either ear. The chin-growth partakes of the nature of -these, but it is the _tufted temple_ which makes your rarity. - -In the last century this sub-branch of the genus Longi-Florum was -fairly common; sub-title, Adolphus. - - - - -U. - -IS AN URSINE-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Ursine-Beaver] - -The specimen mounted is, I believe, unique. A noted scientist in -private life, in public life an exquisite Ursine--or (as some say) -Leonine--there are no _data_ extant to assist us in forming an opinion -as to why he did it. - -It is scarcely likely that this phenomenon will flower again for -centuries. Should a pale reflection be observed, remember that the -salient points are: (a.) great width across the cheek-bones, (b.) -uniformity of foliage. - -The miracle mounted opposite had tendrils, delicate, wonderful, almost -on the lower edge of the eye-lids. - -The osseous formation of the nasal promonotory should be carefully -studied by earnest _amateurs_. - - - - -V. - -IS A VAN DYCK-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration Van Dyck-Beaver] - -Mounted as an historical curiosity: they are now extinct. - -In full bloom they were, I am told, very beautiful. The finest -specimens had _never_ shaved, hence the coat was a miracle of gloss, -softness, shimmer and silk. - -Should anything, _anything_ approaching this shape be observed, kindly -write at once to the Association, who are only too anxious to catalogue -every rarity. - -Disregard cropped hair. One dare not hope for a modern specimen in -trailing-coat. - - - - -W. - -IS A WALRUS. - - -[Illustration: Walrus] - -These cannot be scored when playing Beaver. - -A debased form of the game called “Walrus” is--actually--played, and, -occasionally, mixed Walrus and Beaver. The Walrus game usually ends in -an unseemly wrangle, owing to the intense difficulty in deciding on the -exact status of the specimen. - -The specimen mounted is almost perfect--perhaps it is a thought -regular--it was observed in 1922 in Knightsbridge; the neat bow-tie was -pale blue satin, almost certainly attached by a brass clip. - - - - -X. - -IS A XANTHINE-KING-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Xanthine-King-Beaver] - -These specimens are only scored by specialists. - -There is a perfectly distinct difference between a Xanthine, a Red -and a Yellow, but it is very small, and to mark it requires a very -nicely-trained eye. Xanthines are usually rather bewildered-looking, -and are remarkable, in general, for profusion of crop and coarseness of -coat. - -The habit of insisting on minute colour-niceties is to be deplored as -tending to debase the sport to the level of the philatelist’s “rose-red -on carmine,” “carmine on rose-red.” - - - - -Y. - -IS A YELLOW-KING. - - -[Illustration: Yellow-King] - -Excessively rare. - -With the exception of George Killingworth, cited on page 25, the -most notable Yellow-King of whom we have record is Leo Vincey, the -superlative Beaver who went, in company with his dark-brindle guardian, -Mr. Holly, in search of “She” ... or should it be “Her”? - -There is no record in office of a Yellow-King having been scored in the -last eleven years. They are seen occasionally in France, and there are -vague rumours that a certain number are bagged yearly in Germany. - -Claim extravagant points if you have the fortune to light upon one. -Here again sheen is most important, and the coat should be fine, soft -and silky. - - - - -Z. - -IS A ZEBRA-KING-BEAVER. - - -[Illustration: Zebra-King-Beaver] - -Excessively rare. - -I, myself, have once scored a Zebra-King, but it was, and is, the only -specimen of which I have heard, and it is greatly prized locally. - -The colour-demarcation must be very obvious before one can claim a -Zebra. There is as much difference between a Yellow and a Red-King as -there is between a Zebra and a Brindle. - -The King illustrated is--I speak without fear of being -contradicted--literally unique. In superb coat, ideal shape of -attachment, in colour--a greenish tabby with dark markings, the Zebra -I have the pleasure of showing you represents the _ne-plus-ultra_ of -rarity. - -He thus forms a fitting, as it were, _cul-de-lampe_ to my “littel” -guide. - - - - -TERMINAL ESSAY ON THE MANNERS AND CUSTOMS OF BEAVERING MEN. - - -Proem. - -Adam, according to tradition, was created in full King-Beaverhood, and, -burgeoning amid the bougainvillea and borage of the Garden of Eden, -the Beard, throughout the centuries, has bloomed and faded, resurged, -again faded, then blossomed anew that, in the fullness of time, the -Beard-Bearer might be crowned with the honourable title of Beaver. -“The soft susurrus of his silken stride” brings joy to the heart of -man, perhaps also “game, set, match,” and the shape, the colour, the -texture of his adornment provoke a fastidious scrutiny akin to that of -a connoisseur appraising a Crown Derby figurine. For many years the -auburn-haired hero who grew a beard was not, _ipso facto_, a person of -any importance. A dignitary of the Church, whose venerable features -were complemented or obscured by a snowy, a grizzled or a brindled -beard of majestic length, was not, inherently, remarkable. Behold them -now, a Red-King and an Ecclesiastical King, cynosures, orchids upon -the unlovely tree-trunk of our common life. As the poet might have -written:-- - - Beaver, beaver, burning bright, - In what forest of the night, - What immortal hand or eye - Could frame thy xanthine symmetry? - - -The Beaver in History. - -The celebrated Beavers of history need not be catalogued at length. -Shakespeare was a Bald-Beaver, apparently an Anticipatory-Vandyke. -Napoleon Bonaparte was not a Beaver. Julius Cæsar, Edward Gibbon, Sir -Joshua Reynolds, Alexander VI. and Beethoven did all “... against the -edicts of God, the oracles of the Prophets, the placits of councils -and the judgment of learned men, hold fast the foolish custom of -shaving.”[2] Contrariwise, Hannibal, William Morris, Rodin, St. -Paul and Juan Rodriguez de Silva y Vélasquez were all content with -“nourishing their horrid bushes of vanity.”[3] The Jews bore their -beards proudly from out the Captivity. Indeed they took captivity -captive; did not the Egyptians from time to time, asserting their -masculinity, assume ceremonial false beards, “double faults” to a man? -The most antient Romans were King-Beavers; the Normans were Walruses; -the Greeks supported a considerable number of King-Beavers, among them -Pericles and Socrates, “shaving was very rare in the early part of our -period (440 B.C.–330 B.C.).”[4] Until the eighteenth century Beaverhood -was common, since that time it has grown rarer and rarer, with a sudden -uprush of fur to the face in the middle of the last century, an uprush -which has now almost died away. We read “... the value of their fur -has caused their destruction in great measure where they were once -numerous, and has led to their extirpation where there is evidence that -they existed as a not uncommon animal. They were formerly distributed -over the greater part of Europe. In England semi-fossilised remains -show that they were not uncommon ... in 1188 Giraldus stated that they -were living on the river Teify in Cardiganshire ... some were known to -frequent the Elbe in 1878.”[5] - -[Footnote 2: Bulwer. _Anthropometamorphosis_ (1650).] - -[Footnote 3: Dr. Bolton.] - -[Footnote 4: Tucker, _Life in Ancient Athens_, p. 83.] - -[Footnote 5: _Living Animals of the World_, vol. I., p. 152 _et seq._ -_Parts of this extract are not clear. What value has the pelt of the -Red-King commercially? Can a tippet be made of the adornment of the -Fringed-Georgic?_] - - -THE GAME. - -Origin. - -The origin of the game, which is scored in exactly the same manner as -Lawn Tennis, is unknown. There are, however, various theories; one -school holds that it came to birth in Oxford, another that it emerged -in the other place, and a third traces it to Malta (where “my brother -from Gozo” was, doubtless, a local champion) and seeks for some -association with antient mysteries. - -The outlines of the game itself are so simple and well-defined that the -question of rules scarcely arises. A bearded man is a Beaver, claim -him, crying aloud, as musically as possible, “Beaver, fifteen love”--or -appropriately to the score. If both players cry aloud simultaneously it -is a “no-ball.” - - -Double Faults. - -The system of “double faults” deserves explanation. The educational -value of the game is high, fostering as it does quickness of -observation and that desirable attribute, an eagle-glance. When a -player has had some little practice he will often score winning points -from behind the specimen. Thus a side-whiskered gentleman may be -claimed from the rear but, on drawing level with the quarry, it is -observed that the chin is bare ... double fault. - - -Local Double Faults. - -“Local double faults” are always a matter of courtesy, and if one -claims a “local D. F.” one is not mulcted in the point. Usually it -is some revered and Friend-of-all-the-World Beaver who is created, -by general consent, a “local D. F.,” to enable players to discuss, -unembarrassed, the day’s sport with him. Juvenile players find this -convention of the greatest possible service. Hot-tempered, hard-handed -uncles and such like are swiftly appeased by being made “local D. F.s,” -and join whole-heartedly in the triumph occasioned by the capture of -some other Brindled-King. - - -Status of Beaver. - -It has been mentioned in the notes that very high standards have been -from time to time set up as regards the status of Beaver. Passionate -purists have, indeed, claimed that the charming Half-Beaver is a D. F., -that the delicate wilding, the Fringed-Georgic, is a D. F., even that -the Imperial and the Nanny are suspect. Heed not such persons. Remember -Knut and Mrs. Partington, nor seek to gild the lily. The sign manual -of the Beaver is the not-naked chin, ἂγυμνος. No one of the specimens -mentioned above has a naked chin, therefore, they are all Beavers; -_quod erat demonstrandum_. - - -Hints as to Habitat. - -The game can be played anywhere, except in Burithabeth, for “these men -have no beards at all, for we saw them carry a certain iron instrument -in their hands wherewith, if any hairs grow upon their chin, they -presently pluck them out.”[6] Cathedral cities are a favourite habitat -of the _genus_, and some are always to be found in the neighbourhood -of Pall Mall. Dockyard towns provide large numbers of the ordinary -variety, but very few Kings. - -[Footnote 6: Mandeville.] - - -Single-handed Beaver. - -It is not generally known that a rigidly conscientious person can play -single-handed Beaver with great content. One scores Beavers walking in -the same direction as oneself to the server, Beavers coming from that -direction, and so passing the player, to the striker and stationary -Beavers in accordance with the direction in which their heads are -turned, towards or away from the player. Beavers debouching suddenly -from cross-roads, if one has not time, as on a swift omnibus, to -observe their ultimate direction, are “no-balls.” - - -Objections to the Game. - -It has been objected that the game is nonsensical, anti-social and -essentially discourteous. Nonsensical it is, an it please you; but -is not nonsense a rare and a precious thing? Is not the nonsense of -Lewis Carroll quite entirely adorable? Is not Lear’s story of Violet, -Slingsby, Guy and Lionel a thing of impressive beauty? The game is not -anti-social, for it entails an increased interest in and admiration of -one’s fellow-men and, as regards discourtesy, surely it is as much a -compliment to a Red-King to cry on him, “Beaver, game, set, match,” as -it is to comment upon some damsel’s handsome eyes. - - -The Beaver. - -“Aristotle in his ethics takes up the conceit of the _Bever_,”[7] -and, in general, one may assume that the bearded are proud of their -adornments, love them, cherish them, even going so far in some cases -as to enclose them in silken bags before retiring to rest. Controversy -has long raged as to the propriety or otherwise of shaving. The Greek -Church held strong views on the point, “... and also they say, that -we sin deadly in shaving our beards, for the beard is token of a man, -and gift of our Lord.”[8] The antient Greeks, as we have observed, for -long clutched their hairiness, but finally succumbed to the Macedonian -mode, and shaved clean; it is an interesting point that they did -utterly abhor the Walrus. In England the matter has been entirely -regulated by fashion, and I cannot trace the existence of any important -body of opinion in favour of or against the practice of shaving. It -would, nevertheless, be safe to say that an immature Beaver in the -present year of grace is so rare as to be practically unknown--English -specimens are seldom lighter than medium-brindle--which shows the trend -of modern thought. - -It may be accepted, then, that the Beaver indulges in efflorescence in -order to gratify his vanity (or in a few cases, perhaps, to keep his -throat warm and save the expense of cravats). Perhaps he remembers the -dictum, “_l’habit long et la barbe imposent de respect_.”[9] In which -connection it may be emphasised that the intense interest now taken in -fine specimens should be (and probably is) a source of considerable -gratification to them. I have even been told of one superb Red-King who -invariably congratulates the fortunate player who scores him. - -[Footnote 7: Browne. _Pseudodoxia_, I., c. ix.] - -[Footnote 8: Mandeville, c. iii.] - -[Footnote 9: Voltaire, _Dict. Phil._] - - -Characteristics of various Species. - -It is interesting to observe the very marked personal characteristics -of the various species. A Brindled-King-Beaver is commonly -distinguished by a dignified port and an air of profound weightiness. -In a Red-King something of wistful may be remarked, in a Xanthine -a touch, maybe, of bewilderment. Parti-colours are usually rather -bird-like (perhaps the unconscious influence of the wag-tail) and -Yellows are always pugnacious in appearance. The Fringed-Georgic smacks -of the soil, the Imperial of cafés with red velvet, the Bald-King of -the Reading-Room of the British Museum, the Tufted of antimaccassars -and bronze horrors wriggling under glass domes. But all, without -exception, carry an indefinable air of _exotisme_, a something that -raises them above the herd; they appear never natural products, always -“sports.” - - -The Queen-Beaver. - -Of the Queen-Beaver it may be safely said that “the female of the -species is more deadly than the male.” A really fine Pink-Queen is -awe-inspiring, and a Grey-Queen infinitely terrifying. The dainty -Blonde-Queen (it is advisable to have two assessors, for the signs of -her beaverhood are “_plus follets, plus doux, plus imperceptibles_”[10] -than in any other species) has a sinister air; a Black-Queen suggests -“Macbeth.” It is curious to read that “in Cyprus the Goddess of Love -wore a beard.”[11] Queens are rare and no false gallantry should prevent -a player from scoring them whenever possible. It is, however, the mark -of the gentleman to claim them _sotto voce_, almost in a whisper. - -[Footnote 10: Voltaire, _op. cit._] - -[Footnote 11: Macrobius, _Saturn_, iii., 8.2.] - - -Personalia. - -We have now examined the game briefly, investigated the -characteristics of the Beaver family, cast a rapid and perfunctory -glance at the Beaver in History (a subject deserving of a tome), and -suggested explanations that may be offered, a defence that may be -attempted, when a player is assailed by a non-player. “To beaver or not -to beaver, that is the question.” The decision must be taken; paltering -is no part of a man. Myself, I took it on the top of an omnibus outside -the Ritz, and I played a most excellent game with myself as far as St. -Mary Abbott’s. - -Having set my hand to the plough I did not look back, but entered upon -the game in all seriousness. When Fortune appeared I did not give her -a chance to “present her bald noddle,” but I grabbed her firmly by the -forelock. Being from town I chanced upon a small _coterie_ of learned -enthusiasts, and much improved my game, as also my knowledge. The city -was a very warren of Beavers; most of my finest specimens were secured -there. Does not the mouth of every collector water on reading that I -scored--with two witnesses, one of whom viséd the prey--a glorious -Pink-Queen, leaning on a green bicycle outside the Post-Office? and, -subsequently, an American Grey-Queen with young? The only rarity, -roughly speaking, which eluded me was a fine Fringed-Georgic. I scored -a somewhat moth-eaten specimen of uncertain colouration. Thus, “on -stepping-stones of our dead” Beavers I attained to a certain skill. -It would have been impossible to choose a better place for my little -holiday, and my gratitude to my genial instructors and coaches knows no -bounds. - -Local rules were well-framed, simple and reasonable. There are two -“local D. F.s,” easily recognisable, and a certain number of markedly -fine specimens which have great repute in the district and bear a -very high scoring-value. All unknowing I claimed and scored _the_ -Ecclesiastical-King and was, instantly, awarded two games. It was, in -very truth, a noble creature, a Pointed-Brindle, which is, of course, -as rare and valuable as a pointed fox, in gorgeous coat and official -robes of a searching scarlet. I had the good fortune to secure also the -finest King in Full Winter-Coat that I have ever seen. The adornment -was almost incredibly bushy and “white as the neck of Lalage,” while -the specimen wore brown _suéde_ shoes. Heigh ho! for the brave days -that are dead. Golly, what a garland I wove me in that dear place. - - -Conclusion. - -To what point are we come? Is the game of Beaver the expression of -a passionate mass-protest against the furred face, or is it the -forerunner of a revival of beards, that is, do we see here the shadow -of that antient custom which led peoples to sacrifice yearly the -animals who else were deities, whom they adored?[12] In any case the -Beard is again burgeoning. But a few years gone the bearded were not, -_qua_ beards, of any importance, now they loom upon the social horizon -considerably larger than a man’s hand. Of the importance of the Beard -it may well be that the apogee is upon us. Perchance the Beard will -again be invested with the dignity of ceremonial as in antient China. -“After the coffining,” so we read of the obsequies of an officer, “the -Master of the Ceremonies does away with his hair-tufts.”[13] Shall we -live to see the Beard exalted as an horn on high? Will the game of -Beaver re-instate the Beard as the Crimean campaign instituted the now -almost extinct (but exquisite) moustache-whisker fitment, or will it -drive the hairy to put off the whole armour of hairiness? _Quien sabe?_ -These things remain, in the charming phrase of M. Cliché, “on the knees -of the gods,” but it is safe to assert that, even now, we can as a -people, we English, rebut the accusation of Samuel Butler, “we often do -not notice that a man has grown a beard.”[14] - -[Footnote 12: _See_ Herodotus, ii., 42.] - -[Footnote 13: Chou Kung, _The I-Li_, c. xxxi.] - -[Footnote 14: Butler, _The Notebooks_, p. 311.] - - -_Printed in Great Britain by Miller, Son & Compy., Fakenham and -London._ - - - - - +Barry Pains parody of “If Winter Comes”+ - --------------------------------------- - - If Summer Don’t - - *A.B.C.D.E.F.G.H. - NOTSOMUCHINSON* - - BARRY PAIN - - [Illustration: Chopped down tree with axe] - - _Barry Pain’s Parody of “If Winter Comes”_-- - - “IF SUMMER DON’T” - -BARRY PAIN’S skit on Mrs. Asquith’s Memoirs (“MARGE ASKINFORIT”) took -the public fancy and 50,000 copies have been sold to date. Mr. BARRY -PAIN has now turned his attention to “IF WINTER COMES” and has written -a parody of this “best seller,” which is a scream from cover to cover. - -F’cap 8vo. 1s. 6d. net. - - - Other Books by BARRY PAIN. - -------------------------- - -At 1s. 6d. net, in paper. - - =Marge Askinforit= - =Edwards= - =Me and Harris= - =Robinson Crusoe’s Return= - =Mrs. Murphy= - =Innocent Amusements= - =Confessions of Alphonse= - =The Diary of a Baby= - - At 2s. net, in cloth--=Going Home=. - - -T. Werner Laurie, Ltd., 30 New Bridge St., London, E.C.4. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Beaver, by John Kettelwell - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BEAVER *** - -***** This file should be named 50147-0.txt or 50147-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/0/1/4/50147/ - -Produced by David Edwards, Fay Dunn and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Beaver - An Alphabet of typical Specimens, together with Notes and - a terminal Essay on the Manners and Customs of Beavering Men - -Author: John Kettelwell - -Release Date: October 6, 2015 [EBook #50147] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BEAVER *** - - - - -Produced by David Edwards, Fay Dunn and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<h1 class="faux">BEAVER</h1> - -<div class="transnote"> -<h2 class="nopagebreak" title="">Transcriber’s Note</h2> - -<p>Each illustration of a beard originally faced the beard’s -description. These have been moved to follow the title of -the type of beard.</p> - -<p>Footnotes have been moved to the end of the paragraph to which they -refer.</p> - -<p>Variant spelling and inconsistent hyphenation are retained.</p> - -<p>Minor changes have been made to make punctuation consistent.</p> - -</div> - -<div class="cover"> - <img src="images/cover_small.jpg" alt="Cover" title="Cover" /> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<p class="narrow noindent"><i>With respectful affection to the -illustrious memory of</i> <span class="smcap">Shagpat</span>, -<i>the son of</i> <span class="smcap">Shimpoor</span>, <i>the son of</i> -<span class="smcap">Shoolpi</span>, <i>the son of</i> <span class="smcap">Shullum</span>.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<p class="noindent center s50">BEAVER</p> - -<p class="noindent center s11">BY</p> - -<p class="noindent center s20">JOHN KETTELWELL</p> - -<p class="noindent center gap"><i>An Alphabet of typical Specimens, together with -Notes and a terminal Essay on the Manners -and Customs of Beavering Men</i></p> - -<p class="gap noindent center">LONDON:<br /> - -<span class="s14">T. WERNER LAURIE, LTD.</span><br /> - -30, NEW BRIDGE STREET, E.C. 4</p> -</div> - - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>A.<br /> - -IS AN ADMIRAL-BEAVER.</h2> - -<p class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></p> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p004.jpg" alt="admiral-beaver" title="Admiral=Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>The specimen mounted is typical and the coat is -good, harsh and not silky, a common fault in these -rough-haired examples.</p> - -<p>An Admiral-King-Beaver is unthinkable ... -“derogation of God’s honour,” etc.</p> - -<p>Though the sport is deservedly popular in the -Service, it is attended by infinite risk should the -specimen be of higher rank than the players. -K. R. and A. I. contain no definite ruling as to the -legality or otherwise of the game, but a Court-Martial -would probably trip an unlucky player on “conduct -to the prejudice,” etc.</p> - -<p>In civil life (and plain clothes) it is most unusual -to be able to score these specimens, hence the -different values of Rear-Admirals, Vice-Admirals, -etc., is not given, nor those of the various branches -of the Service, Executive, Engineer, and the like.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>B.<br /> - -IS A BALD-KING-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p006.jpg" alt="bald-king-beaver" title="Bald-King-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>That depicted is a magnificent specimen in full -winter-coat.</p> - -<p>They are not common, but occur frequently—the -apparent paradox is explained by the fact that -they are usually of an extremely retiring nature, -and reside by choice in coigns and nooks.</p> - -<p>For a specimen such as that mounted game should -be claimed and nothing under three points accepted; -rather call off the match and communicate with -the Association.</p> - -<p>In scoring really fine specimens in full winter-coat -extra points can, and should be, claimed for -purity of tint, bushiness, etc.</p> -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>C.<br /> - -IS A CENTAUR-KING-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p008.jpg" alt="centaur-king-beaver" title="Centaur-King-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>There is no record of a specimen being scored. -Probably the last person to do so may have been -Jason. The best authorities assume this, adducing -as contributory evidence his later, passionate quest -of the Golden Fleece. Ourselves we regard it as -more likely that Chiron was never scored, Jason -being held back by the natural delicacy of one -<i>in statu pupillari</i>. In fact, Chiron was, almost -certainly, a “local double-fault.”</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>D.<br /> - -IS A DOUBLE-FAULT.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p010.jpg" alt="double-fault" title="Double-Fault" /> -</div> - -<p>This question is dealt with in the terminal essay.</p> - -<p>The specimen is a good one, and no player who -is deceived by a growth of this kind need feel the -smallest depression. It is the kind of thing that -might happen to anyone.</p> - -<p>A young specimen, darker than dark brindle, -has, I believe, never been scored.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>E.<br /> - -IS AN ECCLESIASTICAL-KING-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p012.jpg" alt="ecclesiastical-king-beaver" title="Ecclesiastical-King-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>Rare in general, there are frequently to be found -in Cathedral cities large coveys, not very strong -on the wing.</p> - -<p>Local rules should be consulted as to the scoring. -Fine specimens count at least three points.</p> - -<p>I myself, recently, claimed an Ecclesiastical-King, -in a country town, and was awarded two games -for it; a well-known local rarity of which the place -is justly proud.</p> - -<p>It was a superb specimen, in good coat, a darkish -brindle, and in official robes.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>F.<br /> - -IS A FRINGED-GEORGIC-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p014.jpg" alt="fringed-georgic-beaver" title="Fringed-Georgic-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>The species is less common than formerly. Some -purists refuse to score these Fringed-Georgics on -the plea that the upper lip is bare and the <i>chin</i> -partially bare and that they are, therefore, double-faults. -The general ruling is that as the adornment -<i>circumnavigates</i> the face the chin is not bare, the -bareness of the upper lip is immaterial and the specimen -should be scored; one point in the country, -three points in London.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>G.<br /> - -IS A GALLIC-KING-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p016.jpg" alt="galic-king-beaver" title="Galic-King-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>The game is almost unplayable in France. Owing -to the superabundance of specimens only rarities -should be scored.</p> - -<p>A report has just been received from Cap D’Antibes -of a “magnificent Wasp-Waisted-King.” Game -was called. No information was sent (correspondents -are deplorably slack) as to colour or coat.</p> - -<p>Good players, in France, lay great stress on -minute differences in colour and characteristic, <i>i.e.</i>, -crimped, curled, waved, rat-tail, wuzzy, wild-garden, -etc.</p> -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>H.<br /> - -IS A HALF-BEAVER.</h2> - - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p018.jpg" alt="half-beaver" title="Half-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>These delightful specimens are now, unhappily, -becoming very rare.</p> - -<p>They are still occasionally scored in the neighbourhood -of places of worship and on the seashore.</p> - -<p>Some claim increased points in ratio to the length -of the upper lip.</p> - -<p>The specimen mounted (Stockton-on-Tees, 1919), -is a fine one, exhibiting all the marked features of -the <i>genus</i>, including a most gratifying labial expanse.</p> -<hr class="chap" /></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>I.<br /> - -IS AN IMPERIAL-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p020.jpg" alt="imperial-beaver" title="Imperial-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>Not common in England; when scored in this -country are almost invariably migrants.</p> - -<p>These amusing specimens are, curiously enough, -commoner in winter-coat than in ordinary plumage.</p> - -<p>There are no tricks about scoring an Imperial. -Any specimen with moustache and a growth -beneath the lower lip, of which the parent area does -not extend to the lower edge of the chin, is an -Imperial.</p> - -<p>Score three points for a Full-Black; one point for -a White.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>J.<br /> - -IS A JOO BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p022.jpg" alt="joo beaver" title="Joo Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>These exotics are fairly common, and local sportsmen -can be relied upon to flush a few on short notice, -provided that they are allowed to choose the beat.</p> - -<p>In many ways curiously attractive, the charm of -the species is marred by the frequent lack of neatness -of plumage; as a race they incline to landscape-gardening -with their hirsuteness.</p> - -<p>Carefully note their musical cry of “Oy-Yoy ... -Oy Yoy.” A specimen in full song, when the moon -is full, counts game.</p> - -<p>Some experts have a very nice scale—by which -they score—of the curvilinear bill. This is a pretty -point and a pleasant <i>raffinement</i>, but too subtle for -the ordinary week-end player. Of course any -unusually fine frontal curve should be claimed and -scored as a rarity.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>K.<br /> - -IS A KILLINGWORTH-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p024.jpg" alt="killingworth-beaver" title="Killingworth-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>This specimen is mounted for instructional purposes -only. Connoisseurs and collectors are, of -course, entirely <i>au fait</i> with the deliciousness of this -gorgeous creature.</p> - -<p>George Killingworth, in the year 1555, was sent -to the court of Ivan the Terrible (one of the many -monarchs who have, from time to time, taxed -Beavers) as the agent of Queen Mary. His beard -was five feet two inches in length and it was yellow. -He was without doubt the most flawless specimen -of a Yellow-King ever seen.</p> - -<p>It is considered in the highest degree unlikely that -anything approaching this efflorescence will be noted -nowadays, hence no score is suggested.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>L.<br /> - -IS A LICKED-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p026.jpg" alt="licked-beaver" title="Licked-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>It is worthy of remark in passing that this distinguishing -title is due to the genius of a child—“trailing -clouds,” etc.—who, on observing the first -specimen ever scored, cried, “Oh, look; he’s licked -it.”</p> - -<p>The species is very rare. Off-shoots of the old -stock, in the form of Semi-Walruses, are occasionally -observed, but the Licked-Beaver is generally regarded -as almost extinct. Possibly the cause of this -diminution, if not extinction, may be the increase in -the cost of living.</p> - -<p>The specimen mounted is a very fine one. Should -a player have the good fortune to score a Licked-Beaver, -let him remember that it is the density of -the licking, the spear-form, the sharpness, that should -be regarded rather than the length of the portion -licked.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>M.<br /> - -IS A MANDARIN-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p028.jpg" alt="mandarin-beaver" title="Mandarin-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>Even in plain clothes should score two games if -seen in England. There is no ruling as to the points -to be scored if observed in this country in full -plumage.</p> - -<p>This specimen is often wrongly catalogued in books -of reference as a Mandarin-King-Beaver. Royalty -or Kinghood is impossible for a species which supports -a very notable gap between its central -adornment and the maxillary-fringes.</p> - -<p>The specimen mounted is, so to say, traditional, -that is, it is a transcript of an early-nineteenth century -Chinese brush-drawing on silk in Chinese ink representing -a hero, or as we should say, a Beaver.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>N.<br /> - -IS A NANNY-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p030.jpg" alt="nanny-beaver" title="Nanny-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>Really good specimens are very rare. They are -reported to flourish in the Eastern farming states -of the United States of America, but British research -is lamentably behindhand, and our exact knowledge -is quite fragmentary.</p> - -<p>In any case there is one simple rule for the -guidance of the <i>amateur</i>; no Nanny-Beaver can be -claimed or scored of which the adornment does not -depend a full two inches from the under-surface of -the chin.</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span></p> -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>O.<br /> - -IS AN ORIENTAL-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p032.jpg" alt="oriental-beaver" title="Oriental-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>These strangely beautiful specimens are rarely seen -in this cold country.</p> - -<p>Those who have had the privilege of observing -closely a gaggle of Orientals in indigenous plumage -(the species is pathetically subject to local changes) -will, assuredly, ever prize the recollection.</p> - -<p>The most noteworthy feature, apart from the -extraordinarily fine quality of coat (glossiness, sheen, -etc.), is the exotic parting which lends a wistful charm -to the otherwise opulent glories of these occasional -visitors.</p> - -<p>Score always two games (in England); set, if the -specimen is in indigenous plumage.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>P.<br /> - -IS A PARTI-COLOUR-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p034.jpg" alt="parti-colour-beaver" title="Parti-Colour-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>These specimens are curiously attractive and are -more often scored than one would think. Artists, -above all others, wax well-nigh lyrical over the -beauties of a well-defined Parti-Colour, one, that -is, in which there is almost no shading, the black -being black and the white, white. The same colouration -is observed in the pelt of the Colobus monkey -and justly admired.</p> - -<p>It is not possible to distinguish between natural -and artificial Parti-Colours, unless one should happen -to be a relative of the specimen. All Parti-Colours -are, therefore, scored. (Two points.)</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>Q.<br /> - -IS A QUEEN-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p036.jpg" alt="queen-beaver" title="Queen-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>It has been objected that it is not gallant to score -these undoubted rarities. Theoretically it is, certainly, -not pretty conduct, but, on the other hand, -all is fair in love and war, and ... has any man ever -refused to shoot a rhinoceros on the plea that it was -a female? (I merely ask ... someone may have -done so. There may even be a close time for doe-rhinoes.) -Be that as it may, the scoring of Queens is -an affair of lineage. Regard this eighteenth century -distich:—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> - <div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="p_line">“Here is a Pink-Queen, very rare,</div> - <div class="p_line">Remember to count the sixteenth hair.”<a name="Anchor_1" id="Anchor_1" href="#Footnote_1" class="fnanchor" title="Go to footnote 1.">[1]</a></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p>Queens are always scored extravagantly. Usually -game; extra-rarities two games, and so on. The -Pink-Queen is, without doubt, the rarest of her -kind; conversely, when found, she is usually a superb -specimen, in rich coat. The question of Queens is -dealt with broadly in the terminal essay.</p> - - -<div class="footnotes"> - <dl> - <dt><a name="Footnote_1" id="Footnote_1" href="#Anchor_1" title="Return to text.">[1]</a></dt> - <dd>Queens cannot be scored unless they have <i>more</i> than -fifteen hairs.</dd> - </dl> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span></p></div> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>R.<br /> - -IS A RED-KING-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p038.jpg" alt="red-king-beaver" title="Red-King-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>I feel a very natural emotion on commenting on -the sublime specimen of the Red-King, the ultimate -hope of every keen collector, which is portrayed on -the opposite page. Observed outside “The Goose -and Gridiron,” in Slogsby-under-Hill, this noble -creature deprived both my companion (an ex-local -champion) and myself of speech for three minutes.</p> - -<p>Had he been carrying a ladder (the <i>ne-plus-ultra</i> -of Beaverhood) we had never recovered from the -glory of the revelation.</p> - -<p>Red-Kings score “Game, set, match.” A Red-King -on a green bicycle, carrying a lanthorn (or -lantern), scores <abbr title="ditto ditto">do. do.</abbr> “Local Championship.” A -Red-King on a green bicycle carrying a ladder (poor -old Pelion!) has never, alas! been reported up to -the present.</p> - -<p>There are dreams of scoring a Red-King, complete -with fitments, on a High Bicycle ... all things are -possible, even a ravishment such as that.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>S.<br /> - -IS A SANTA-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p040.jpg" alt="santa-beaver" title="Santa-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>These are usually scored, though your conscientious -expert demurs at so doing, as it has been held—and -the view is well supported by players of repute—that -they are strictly-speaking Double-Faults, the -adornment being temporary.</p> - -<p>The genuine Santa-King-Beaver, complete with -reindeer, sleigh and business with chimney, has -never, I believe, been scored.</p> - -<p>Claim a game if you, a stranger adult, score one.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>T.<br /> - -IS A TUFTED-KING-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p042.jpg" alt="tufted-king-beaver" title="Tufted-King-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>It may, perhaps, be thought that this is a fanciful, -a pernickety differentiation—such are to be deplored—but -there is a very distinct species of Beaver—King -or ordinary—having these marked characteristics, -and the best players invariably claim a -Tufted, and two points, if they have the luck to -espy a specimen such as that depicted.</p> - -<p>The points to look for are the three patches of -foliage in centre forehead and over either ear. The -chin-growth partakes of the nature of these, but -it is the <i>tufted temple</i> which makes your rarity.</p> - -<p>In the last century this sub-branch of the genus -Longi-Florum was fairly common; sub-title, -Adolphus.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>U.<br /> - -IS AN URSINE-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p044.jpg" alt="ursine-beaver" title="Ursine-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>The specimen mounted is, I believe, unique. A -noted scientist in private life, in public life an -exquisite Ursine—or (as some say) Leonine—there -are no <i>data</i> extant to assist us in forming an opinion -as to why he did it.</p> - -<p>It is scarcely likely that this phenomenon will -flower again for centuries. Should a pale reflection -be observed, remember that the salient points are: -(a.) great width across the cheek-bones, (b.) uniformity -of foliage.</p> - -<p>The miracle mounted opposite had tendrils, -delicate, wonderful, almost on the lower edge of -the eye-lids.</p> - -<p>The osseous formation of the nasal promonotory -should be carefully studied by earnest <i>amateurs</i>.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>V.<br /> - -IS A VAN DYCK-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p046.jpg" alt="van-dyck-beaver" title="Van Dyck-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>Mounted as an historical curiosity: they are now -extinct.</p> - -<p>In full bloom they were, I am told, very beautiful. -The finest specimens had <i>never</i> shaved, hence the -coat was a miracle of gloss, softness, shimmer and -silk.</p> - -<p>Should anything, <i>anything</i> approaching this shape -be observed, kindly write at once to the Association, -who are only too anxious to catalogue every rarity.</p> - -<p>Disregard cropped hair. One dare not hope for -a modern specimen in trailing-coat.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>W.<br /> - -IS A WALRUS.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p048.jpg" alt="walrus" title="Walrus" /> -</div> - -<p>These cannot be scored when playing Beaver.</p> - -<p>A debased form of the game called “Walrus” -is—actually—played, and, occasionally, mixed -Walrus and Beaver. The Walrus game usually -ends in an unseemly wrangle, owing to the intense -difficulty in deciding on the exact status of the -specimen.</p> - -<p>The specimen mounted is almost perfect—perhaps -it is a thought regular—it was observed in 1922 in -Knightsbridge; the neat bow-tie was pale blue satin, -almost certainly attached by a brass clip.</p> -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>X.<br /> - -IS A XANTHINE-KING-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p050.jpg" alt="xanthine-king-beaver" title="Xanthine-King-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>These specimens are only scored by specialists.</p> - -<p>There is a perfectly distinct difference between a -Xanthine, a Red and a Yellow, but it is very small, -and to mark it requires a very nicely-trained eye. -Xanthines are usually rather bewildered-looking, -and are remarkable, in general, for profusion of crop -and coarseness of coat.</p> - -<p>The habit of insisting on minute colour-niceties -is to be deplored as tending to debase the sport to -the level of the philatelist’s “rose-red on carmine,” -“carmine on rose-red.”</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>Y.<br /> - -IS A YELLOW-KING.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p052.jpg" alt="yellow-king" title="Yellow-King" /> -</div> - -<p>Excessively rare.</p> - -<p>With the exception of George Killingworth, cited -on page 25, the most notable Yellow-King of whom we -have record is Leo Vincey, the superlative Beaver -who went, in company with his dark-brindle -guardian, Mr. Holly, in search of “She” ... or should -it be “Her”?</p> - -<p>There is no record in office of a Yellow-King -having been scored in the last eleven years. They -are seen occasionally in France, and there are vague -rumours that a certain number are bagged yearly -in Germany.</p> - -<p>Claim extravagant points if you have the fortune -to light upon one. Here again sheen is most important, -and the coat should be fine, soft and silky.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2>Z.<br /> - -IS A ZEBRA-KING-BEAVER.</h2> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/p054.jpg" alt="zebra-king-beaver" title="Zebra-King-Beaver" /> -</div> - -<p>Excessively rare.</p> - -<p>I, myself, have once scored a Zebra-King, but it -was, and is, the only specimen of which I have heard, -and it is greatly prized locally.</p> - -<p>The colour-demarcation must be very obvious -before one can claim a Zebra. There is as much -difference between a Yellow and a Red-King as -there is between a Zebra and a Brindle.</p> - -<p>The King illustrated is—I speak without fear of -being contradicted—literally unique. In superb coat, -ideal shape of attachment, in colour—a greenish -tabby with dark markings, the Zebra I have the -pleasure of showing you represents the <i>ne-plus-ultra</i> -of rarity.</p> - -<p>He thus forms a fitting, as it were, <i>cul-de-lampe</i> -to my “littel” guide.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<h2><a name="TERMINAL_ESSAY_ON_THE_MANNERS_AND" id="TERMINAL_ESSAY_ON_THE_MANNERS_AND">TERMINAL ESSAY ON THE MANNERS AND -CUSTOMS OF BEAVERING MEN.</a></h2> - -<h3>Proem.</h3> - -<p>Adam, according to tradition, was created in full -King-Beaverhood, and, burgeoning amid the bougainvillea -and borage of the Garden of Eden, the -Beard, throughout the centuries, has bloomed and -faded, resurged, again faded, then blossomed anew -that, in the fullness of time, the Beard-Bearer might -be crowned with the honourable title of Beaver. “The -soft susurrus of his silken stride” brings joy to the -heart of man, perhaps also “game, set, match,” and -the shape, the colour, the texture of his adornment -provoke a fastidious scrutiny akin to that of a connoisseur -appraising a Crown Derby figurine. For -many years the auburn-haired hero who grew a beard -was not, <i>ipso facto</i>, a person of any importance. A -dignitary of the Church, whose venerable features -were complemented or obscured by a snowy, a -grizzled or a brindled beard of majestic length, was -not, inherently, remarkable. Behold them now, a -Red-King and an Ecclesiastical King, cynosures, -orchids upon the unlovely tree-trunk of our common -life. As the poet might have written:—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"> - <div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="p_line">Beaver, beaver, burning bright,</div> - <div class="p_line">In what forest of the night,</div> - <div class="p_line">What immortal hand or eye</div> - <div class="p_line">Could frame thy xanthine symmetry?</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - - -<h3>The Beaver in History.</h3> - -<p>The celebrated Beavers of history need not be -catalogued at length. Shakespeare was a Bald-Beaver, -apparently an Anticipatory-Vandyke. -Napoleon Bonaparte was not a Beaver. Julius -Cæsar, Edward Gibbon, Sir Joshua Reynolds, Alexander -<abbr title="sixth">VI.</abbr> and Beethoven did all “... against the edicts -of God, the oracles of the Prophets, the placits of -councils and the judgment of learned men, hold -fast the foolish custom of shaving.”<a name="Anchor_2" id="Anchor_2" href="#Footnote_2" class="fnanchor" title="Go to footnote 2.">[2]</a> Contrariwise, -<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span>Hannibal, William Morris, Rodin, St. Paul and Juan -Rodriguez de Silva y Vélasquez were all content with -“nourishing their horrid bushes of vanity.”<a name="Anchor_3" id="Anchor_3" href="#Footnote_3" class="fnanchor" title="Go to footnote 3.">[3]</a> The -Jews bore their beards proudly from out the Captivity. -Indeed they took captivity captive; did not -the Egyptians from time to time, asserting their -masculinity, assume ceremonial false beards, “double -faults” to a man? The most antient Romans -were King-Beavers; the Normans were Walruses; -the Greeks supported a considerable number of King-Beavers, -among them Pericles and Socrates, “shaving -was very rare in the early part of our period (440 -B.C.–330 B.C.).”<a name="Anchor_4" id="Anchor_4" href="#Footnote_4" class="fnanchor" title="Go to footnote 4.">[4]</a> Until the eighteenth century -Beaverhood was common, since that time it has -grown rarer and rarer, with a sudden uprush of fur -to the face in the middle of the last century, an -uprush which has now almost died away. We read -“... the value of their fur has caused their -destruction in great measure where they were -once numerous, and has led to their extirpation where -there is evidence that they existed as a not uncommon -animal. They were formerly distributed over -the greater part of Europe. In England semi-fossilised -remains show that they were not uncommon -... in 1188 Giraldus stated that they were -living on the river Teify in Cardiganshire ... some -were known to frequent the Elbe in 1878.”<a name="Anchor_5" id="Anchor_5" href="#Footnote_5" class="fnanchor" title="Go to footnote 5.">[5]</a></p> - - -<div class="footnotes"> - <dl> - <dt><a name="Footnote_2" id="Footnote_2" href="#Anchor_2" title="Return to text.">[2]</a></dt> - <dd>Bulwer. <i>Anthropometamorphosis</i> (1650).</dd> - - <dt><a name="Footnote_3" id="Footnote_3" href="#Anchor_3" title="Return to text.">[3]</a></dt> - <dd>Dr. Bolton.</dd> - - <dt><a name="Footnote_4" id="Footnote_4" href="#Anchor_4" title="Return to text.">[4]</a></dt> - <dd>Tucker, <i>Life in Ancient Athens</i>, <abbr title="page">p.</abbr> 83.</dd> - - <dt><a name="Footnote_5" id="Footnote_5" href="#Anchor_5" title="Return to text.">[5]</a></dt> - <dd><i>Living Animals of the World</i>, <abbr title="volume 1, page 152">vol. I., p. 152</abbr> <i>et seq.</i> <i>Parts -of this extract are not clear. What value has the pelt of the Red-King -commercially? Can a tippet be made of the adornment of -the Fringed-Georgic?</i></dd> - </dl> -</div> - - -<h2>THE GAME.</h2> - -<h3>Origin.</h3> - -<p>The origin of the game, which is scored in exactly -the same manner as Lawn Tennis, is unknown. There -are, however, various theories; one school holds that -it came to birth in Oxford, another that it emerged -in the other place, and a third traces it to Malta -<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span>(where “my brother from Gozo” was, doubtless, a -local champion) and seeks for some association with -antient mysteries.</p> - -<p>The outlines of the game itself are so simple and -well-defined that the question of rules scarcely arises. -A bearded man is a Beaver, claim him, crying aloud, -as musically as possible, “Beaver, fifteen love”—or -appropriately to the score. If both players cry aloud -simultaneously it is a “no-ball.”</p> - - -<h3>Double Faults.</h3> - -<p>The system of “double faults” deserves explanation. -The educational value of the game is high, -fostering as it does quickness of observation and that -desirable attribute, an eagle-glance. When a player -has had some little practice he will often score winning -points from behind the specimen. Thus a side-whiskered -gentleman may be claimed from the rear -but, on drawing level with the quarry, it is observed -that the chin is bare ... double fault.</p> - - -<h3>Local Double Faults.</h3> - -<p>“Local double faults” are always a matter of -courtesy, and if one claims a “local D. F.” one is -not mulcted in the point. Usually it is some revered -and Friend-of-all-the-World Beaver who is created, -by general consent, a “local D. F.,” to enable players -to discuss, unembarrassed, the day’s sport with him. -Juvenile players find this convention of the greatest -possible service. Hot-tempered, hard-handed uncles -and such like are swiftly appeased by being made -“local D. F.s,” and join whole-heartedly in the -triumph occasioned by the capture of some other -Brindled-King.</p> - - -<h3>Status of Beaver.</h3> - -<p>It has been mentioned in the notes that very high -standards have been from time to time set up as -regards the status of Beaver. Passionate purists -have, indeed, claimed that the charming Half-Beaver -is a D. F., that the delicate wilding, the Fringed-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span>Georgic, -is a D. F., even that the Imperial and the -Nanny are suspect. Heed not such persons. Remember -Knut and Mrs. Partington, nor seek to gild the -lily. The sign manual of the Beaver is the not-naked -chin, <span lang="grc" xml:lang="grc">ἂγυμνος</span>. No one of the specimens -mentioned above has a naked chin, therefore, they -are all Beavers; <i>quod erat demonstrandum</i>.</p> - - -<h3>Hints as to Habitat.</h3> - -<p>The game can be played anywhere, except in -Burithabeth, for “these men have no beards at all, -for we saw them carry a certain iron instrument in -their hands wherewith, if any hairs grow upon their -chin, they presently pluck them out.”<a name="Anchor_6" id="Anchor_6" href="#Footnote_6" class="fnanchor" title="Go to footnote 6.">[6]</a> Cathedral -cities are a favourite habitat of the <i>genus</i>, and some -are always to be found in the neighbourhood of Pall -Mall. Dockyard towns provide large numbers of -the ordinary variety, but very few Kings.</p> - -<div class="footnotes"> - <dl> - <dt><a name="Footnote_6" id="Footnote_6" href="#Anchor_6" title="Return to text.">[6]</a></dt> - <dd>Mandeville.</dd> - </dl> -</div> - -<h3>Single-handed Beaver.</h3> - -<p>It is not generally known that a rigidly conscientious -person can play single-handed Beaver with great -content. One scores Beavers walking in the same -direction as oneself to the server, Beavers coming -from that direction, and so passing the player, to the -striker and stationary Beavers in accordance with -the direction in which their heads are turned, towards -or away from the player. Beavers debouching suddenly -from cross-roads, if one has not time, as on a -swift omnibus, to observe their ultimate direction, -are “no-balls.”</p> - - -<h3>Objections to the Game.</h3> - -<p>It has been objected that the game is nonsensical, -anti-social and essentially discourteous. Nonsensical -it is, an it please you; but is not nonsense a rare and -a precious thing? Is not the nonsense of Lewis -Carroll quite entirely adorable? Is not Lear’s story -of Violet, Slingsby, Guy and Lionel a thing of impres<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span>sive -beauty? The game is not anti-social, for it -entails an increased interest in and admiration of -one’s fellow-men and, as regards discourtesy, surely -it is as much a compliment to a Red-King to cry -on him, “Beaver, game, set, match,” as it is to -comment upon some damsel’s handsome eyes.</p> - - -<h3>The Beaver.</h3> - -<p>“Aristotle in his ethics takes up the conceit of the -<i>Bever</i>,”<a name="Anchor_7" id="Anchor_7" href="#Footnote_7" class="fnanchor" title="Go to footnote 7.">[7]</a> and, in general, one may assume that the -bearded are proud of their adornments, love them, -cherish them, even going so far in some cases as to -enclose them in silken bags before retiring to rest. -Controversy has long raged as to the propriety or -otherwise of shaving. The Greek Church held strong -views on the point, “... and also they say, that we -sin deadly in shaving our beards, for the beard is -token of a man, and gift of our Lord.”<a name="Anchor_8" id="Anchor_8" href="#Footnote_8" class="fnanchor" title="Go to footnote 8.">[8]</a> The antient -Greeks, as we have observed, for long clutched their -hairiness, but finally succumbed to the Macedonian -mode, and shaved clean; it is an interesting point -that they did utterly abhor the Walrus. In England -the matter has been entirely regulated by fashion, -and I cannot trace the existence of any important -body of opinion in favour of or against the practice -of shaving. It would, nevertheless, be safe to say -that an immature Beaver in the present year of grace -is so rare as to be practically unknown—English -specimens are seldom lighter than medium-brindle—which -shows the trend of modern thought.</p> - -<p>It may be accepted, then, that the Beaver indulges -in efflorescence in order to gratify his vanity (or in -a few cases, perhaps, to keep his throat warm and -save the expense of cravats). Perhaps he remembers -the dictum, “<i>l’habit long et la barbe imposent de -respect</i>.”<a name="Anchor_9" id="Anchor_9" href="#Footnote_9" class="fnanchor" title="Go to footnote 9.">[9]</a> In which connection it may be emphasised -that the intense interest now taken in fine specimens -should be (and probably is) a source of considerable -gratification to them. I have even been told of -one superb Red-King who invariably congratulates -the fortunate player who scores him.</p> - -<div class="footnotes"> - <dl> - <dt><a name="Footnote_7" id="Footnote_7" href="#Anchor_7" title="Return to text.">[7]</a></dt> - <dd>Browne. <cite>Pseudodoxia</cite>, <abbr title="1, chapter 9">I., c. ix.</abbr></dd> - - <dt><a name="Footnote_8" id="Footnote_8" href="#Anchor_8" title="Return to text.">[8]</a></dt> - <dd>Mandeville, <abbr title="chapter 3">c. iii.</abbr></dd> - - <dt><a name="Footnote_9" id="Footnote_9" href="#Anchor_9" title="Return to text.">[9]</a></dt> - <dd>Voltaire, <cite><abbr title="Dictionnaire philosophique">Dict. Phil.</abbr></cite></dd> - </dl> -</div> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span></p> - - - -<h3>Characteristics of various Species.</h3> - -<p>It is interesting to observe the very marked personal -characteristics of the various species. A Brindled-King-Beaver -is commonly distinguished by a dignified -port and an air of profound weightiness. In a Red-King -something of wistful may be remarked, in a -Xanthine a touch, maybe, of bewilderment. Parti-colours -are usually rather bird-like (perhaps the -unconscious influence of the wag-tail) and Yellows -are always pugnacious in appearance. The Fringed-Georgic -smacks of the soil, the Imperial of cafés -with red velvet, the Bald-King of the Reading-Room -of the British Museum, the Tufted of antimaccassars -and bronze horrors wriggling under glass domes. But -all, without exception, carry an indefinable air of -<i>exotisme</i>, a something that raises them above the -herd; they appear never natural products, always -“sports.”</p> - - -<h3>The Queen-Beaver.</h3> - -<p>Of the Queen-Beaver it may be safely said that -“the female of the species is more deadly than the -male.” A really fine Pink-Queen is awe-inspiring, -and a Grey-Queen infinitely terrifying. The dainty -Blonde-Queen (it is advisable to have two assessors, -for the signs of her beaverhood are “<i>plus follets, -plus doux, plus imperceptibles</i>”<a name="Anchor_10" id="Anchor_10" href="#Footnote_10" class="fnanchor" title="Go to footnote 10.">[10]</a> than in any other -species) has a sinister air; a Black-Queen suggests -“Macbeth.” It is curious to read that “in Cyprus -the Goddess of Love wore a beard.”<a name="Anchor_11" id="Anchor_11" href="#Footnote_11" class="fnanchor" title="Go to footnote 11.">[11]</a> Queens are -rare and no false gallantry should prevent a player -from scoring them whenever possible. It is, however, -the mark of the gentleman to claim them <i>sotto voce</i>, -almost in a whisper.</p> - -<div class="footnotes"> - <dl> - <dt><a name="Footnote_10" id="Footnote_10" href="#Anchor_10" title="Return to text.">[10]</a></dt> - <dd>Voltaire, <i>op. cit.</i></dd> - - <dt><a name="Footnote_11" id="Footnote_11" href="#Anchor_11" title="Return to text.">[11]</a></dt> - <dd>Macrobius, <i>Saturn</i>, <abbr title="3">iii.</abbr>, 8.2.</dd> - </dl> -</div> - -<h3>Personalia.</h3> - -<p>We have now examined the game briefly, investigated<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span> -the characteristics of the Beaver family, cast a rapid -and perfunctory glance at the Beaver in History -(a subject deserving of a tome), and suggested -explanations that may be offered, a defence that may -be attempted, when a player is assailed by a non-player. -“To beaver or not to beaver, that is the -question.” The decision must be taken; paltering -is no part of a man. Myself, I took it on the top of -an omnibus outside the Ritz, and I played a most -excellent game with myself as far as St. Mary Abbott’s.</p> - -<p>Having set my hand to the plough I did not look -back, but entered upon the game in all seriousness. -When Fortune appeared I did not give her a chance -to “present her bald noddle,” but I grabbed her -firmly by the forelock. Being from town I chanced -upon a small <i>coterie</i> of learned enthusiasts, and much -improved my game, as also my knowledge. The city -was a very warren of Beavers; most of my finest -specimens were secured there. Does not the mouth -of every collector water on reading that I scored—with -two witnesses, one of whom viséd the prey—a -glorious Pink-Queen, leaning on a green bicycle -outside the Post-Office? and, subsequently, an -American Grey-Queen with young? The only rarity, -roughly speaking, which eluded me was a fine Fringed-Georgic. -I scored a somewhat moth-eaten specimen -of uncertain colouration. Thus, “on stepping-stones -of our dead” Beavers I attained to a certain skill. -It would have been impossible to choose a better -place for my little holiday, and my gratitude to my -genial instructors and coaches knows no bounds.</p> - -<p>Local rules were well-framed, simple and reasonable. -There are two “local D. F.s,” easily recognisable, -and a certain number of markedly fine specimens -which have great repute in the district and bear a -very high scoring-value. All unknowing I claimed -and scored <i>the</i> Ecclesiastical-King and was, instantly, -awarded two games. It was, in very truth, a noble -creature, a Pointed-Brindle, which is, of course, as -rare and valuable as a pointed fox, in gorgeous coat<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span> -and official robes of a searching scarlet. I had the -good fortune to secure also the finest King in Full -Winter-Coat that I have ever seen. The adornment -was almost incredibly bushy and “white as the neck of -Lalage,” while the specimen wore brown <i>suéde</i> shoes. -Heigh ho! for the brave days that are dead. Golly, -what a garland I wove me in that dear place.</p> - - -<h3>Conclusion.</h3> - -<p>To what point are we come? Is the game of Beaver -the expression of a passionate mass-protest against -the furred face, or is it the forerunner of a revival of -beards, that is, do we see here the shadow of that -antient custom which led peoples to sacrifice yearly -the animals who else were deities, whom they adored?<a name="Anchor_12" id="Anchor_12" href="#Footnote_12" class="fnanchor" title="Go to footnote 12.">[12]</a> -In any case the Beard is again burgeoning. But a -few years gone the bearded were not, <i>qua</i> beards, of -any importance, now they loom upon the social horizon -considerably larger than a man’s hand. Of the -importance of the Beard it may well be that the -apogee is upon us. Perchance the Beard will again -be invested with the dignity of ceremonial as in -antient China. “After the coffining,” so we read of -the obsequies of an officer, “the Master of the Ceremonies -does away with his hair-tufts.”<a name="Anchor_13" id="Anchor_13" href="#Footnote_13" class="fnanchor" title="Go to footnote 13.">[13]</a> Shall we -live to see the Beard exalted as an horn on high? -Will the game of Beaver re-instate the Beard as the -Crimean campaign instituted the now almost extinct -(but exquisite) moustache-whisker fitment, or will it -drive the hairy to put off the whole armour of hairiness? -<i>Quien sabe?</i> These things remain, in the -charming phrase of M. Cliché, “on the knees of the -gods,” but it is safe to assert that, even now, we can -as a people, we English, rebut the accusation of Samuel -Butler, “we often do not notice that a man has grown -a beard.”<a name="Anchor_14" id="Anchor_14" href="#Footnote_14" class="fnanchor" title="Go to footnote 14.">[14]</a></p> - -<div class="footnotes"> - <dl> - <dt><a name="Footnote_12" id="Footnote_12" href="#Anchor_12" title="Return to text.">[12]</a></dt> - <dd><i>See</i> Herodotus, <abbr title="2">ii.</abbr>, 42.</dd> - <dt><a name="Footnote_13" id="Footnote_13" href="#Anchor_13" title="Return to text.">[13]</a></dt> - <dd>Chou Kung, <cite>The I-Li</cite>, <abbr title="chapter 31">c. xxxi.</abbr></dd> - <dt><a name="Footnote_14" id="Footnote_14" href="#Anchor_14" title="Return to text.">[14]</a></dt> - <dd>Butler, <cite>The Notebooks</cite>, <abbr title="page">p.</abbr> 311.</dd> - </dl> -</div> - -<p><i>Printed in Great Britain by Miller, Son & <abbr title="Company">Compy.</abbr>, Fakenham and London.</i></p> -<hr class="chap" /> -</div> -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="faux">Books by Barry Pain</h2> -<h3 class="faux" title="">Barry Pain’s parody of If Winter Comes</h3> -<div class="advert"> -<div class="figleft"><img src="images/handwriting.jpg" alt="Barry Pains parody of If Winter Comes" title="Barry Pains parody of If Winter Comes" /></div> -<p class="s14 center noindent">If Summer Don’t</p> -<p class="center crossedout noindent">A.B.C.D.E.F.G.H.<br /> -NOTSOMUCHINSON</p> -<p class="s14 center noindent">BARRY PAIN</p> -<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/thetree.jpg" alt="Chopped down tree with axe" title="Chopped down tree with axe" /></div> - -<p class="noindent"><i>Barry Pain’s Parody of “If Winter Comes”—</i></p> -<p class="noindent center s14">IF SUMMER DON’T</p> -<p class="noindent"><span class="smcap">Barry Pain’s</span> skit on -Mrs. Asquith’s Memoirs -(“<span class="smcap">Marge Askinforit</span>”) -took the public fancy -and 50,000 copies have been sold to date. Mr. <span class="smcap">Barry -Pain</span> has now turned his attention to “<span class="smcap">If Winter -Comes</span>” and has written a parody of this “best seller,” -which is a scream from cover to cover.</p> - -<p class="noindent center"><abbr title="Foolscap octavo 1 shilling and 6 pence">F’cap 8vo. 1s. 6d.</abbr> net.</p> - - -<hr class="ad" /> -<h3 title="" class="underline left"> -Other Books by BARRY PAIN. -</h3> - -<p class="noindent center">At 1s. 6d. net, in paper.</p> - -<p class="noindent other_books"></p> -<ul> -<li>Marge Askinforit</li> -<li>Edwards</li> -<li>Me and Harris</li> -<li>Robinson Crusoe’s Return</li> -<li>Mrs. Murphy</li> -<li>Innocent Amusements</li> -<li>Confessions of Alphonse</li> -<li>The Diary of a Baby</li> -</ul> -<p class="noindent center">At 2<abbr title="shillings">s.</abbr> net, in cloth—<b>Going Home.</b></p> - - -<hr class="ad" /> -<p class="noindent center"><b>T. Werner Laurie, Ltd., 30 New Bridge St., London, E.C.4.</b></p> - -</div> -</div> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Beaver, by John Kettelwell - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BEAVER *** - -***** This file should be named 50147-h.htm or 50147-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/0/1/4/50147/ - -Produced by David Edwards, Fay Dunn and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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