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@@ -0,0 +1,9243 @@ +***The Project Gutenberg Etext of "The Breitmann Ballads" *** +by Charles G. Leland [This is the Plain Vanilla ASCII Version] +See "britm10a.txt for the HTML version] + + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! + + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. Do not remove this. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations* + +Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and +further information is included below. We need your donations. + + +The Breitmann Ballads + +by Charles G. 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If you + don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are + payable to "Project Gutenberg Association / Illinois + Benedictine College" within the 60 days following each + date you prepare (or were legally required to prepare) + your annual (or equivalent periodic) tax return. + +WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? +The Project gratefully accepts contributions in money, time, +scanning machines, OCR software, public domain etexts, royalty +free copyright licenses, and every other sort of contribution +you can think of. Money should be paid to "Project Gutenberg +Association / Illinois Benedictine College". + +This "Small Print!" by Charles B. Kramer, Attorney +Internet (72600.2026@compuserve.com); TEL: (212-254-5093) +*END*THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + + + +Begin the vanilla ASCII +Breitmann Ballads + + + + + +The Breitmann Ballads +by +Charles G. Leland. + + + + + +TO THE MEMORY +OF THE LATE +NICHOLAS TRUBNER + +This Work is Dedicated +by +Charles G. Leland + + +This Project Gutenberg Edition +is dedicated to: + +Poul and Karen Anderson +without whose inspiration +it would not exist. + +Geoff Kidd +Krista Rourke + + + + + + +Ad Musan. +"Est mihi schoena etenim et praestanti corpore liebsta +Haec sola est mea Musa meoque regierit in Herza. +Huic me ergebo ipsum meaque illi abstatto geluebda, +Huic ebrensaulas aufrichto opfroque Geschenka, +Hic etiam absingo liedros et carmina scribo." + +Rapsodia Andra, Leipzig, 17th Century + + + +Preface +To the Edition of 1889. + +---- + +Though twenty years have passed since the first appearance +of the "Breitmann Ballads" in a collected form, the author is +deeply gratified -- and not less sincerely grateful to the public +-- in knowing that Hans still lives in many memories, that he +continues to be quoted when writers wish to illustrate an +exuberantly joyous "barty" or ladies so very fashionably dressed +as to recall "de maidens mit nodings on," and that no +inconsiderable number of those who are "beginning German" +continue to be addressed by sportive friends in the Breitmann +dialect as a compliment to their capacity as linguists. For as a +young medical student is asked by anxious intimates if he has got +as far as salts, I have heard inquiries addressed to tyros in +Teutonic whether they had mastered these songs. As I have +realised all of this from newspapers and novels, even during the +past few weeks, and have learned that a new and very expensive +edition of the work has just appeared in America, I trust that I +may be pardoned for a self-gratulation, which is, after all +really gratitude to those who have demanded of the English +publisher another issue. My chief pleasure in this -- though it +be mingled with sorrow -- is, that it enables me to dedicate to +the memory of my friend the late NICHOLAS TRUBNER the most +complete edition of the Ballads ever printed. I can think of no +more appropriate tribute to his memory, since he was not only the +first publisher of the work in England, but collaborated with the +author in editing it so far as to greatly improve and extend the +whole. This is more fully set forth in the Introduction to the +Glossary, which is all his own. The memory of the deep personal +interest which he took in the poems, his delight in being their +publisher, his fondness for reciting them, is and ever will be to +me indescribably touching; such experiences being rare in any +life. He was an immensely general and yet thorough scholar, and +I am certain that I never met with any man in my life who to such +an extensive bibliographical knowledge added so much familiarity +with the contents of books. And he was familiar with nothing +which did not interest him, which is rare indeed among men who +MUST know something of thousands of works -- in fact, he was a +wonderful and very original book in himself, which, if it had +ever been written out and published, would have never died. His +was one of the instances which give the world good cause to +regret that the art of autobiography is of all others the one +least taught or studied. There are few characters more +interesting than those in which the practical man of business is +combined with the scholar, because of the contrasts, or varied +play of light and shadow, in them, and this was, absolutely to +perfection, that of Mr. Trubner. And if I have re-edited this +work, it was that I might have an opportunity of recording it. + +There are others to whom I owe sincere gratitude for +interest displayed in this work when it was young. The first of +these was the late CHARLES ASTOR BRISTED of New York. With the +exception of the "Barty," most of the poems in the first edition +were written merely to fill up letters to him, and as I kept no +copy of them, they would have been forgotten, had he not +preserved and printed them after a time in a sporting paper. Nor +would they even after this have appeared (though Mr. Bristed once +tried to surprise me with a privately printed collection of them, +which attempt failed) had not Mr. RINGWALT, my collaborator on +the PHILADELPHIA PRESS, and also a printer, had such faith in the +work as to have it "set up" in his office, offering to try an +edition for me. This was transferred to PETERSON BROTHERS, in +whose hands the sale became at once very great; and I should be +truly ungrateful if I omitted to mention among the many writers +who were very kind in reviews, Mr. GEORGE A. SALA, who was +chiefly influential in introducing Hans Breitmann to the English +public, and who has ever been his warmest friend. Another friend +who encouraged and aided me by criticism was the late OCTAVE +DELEPIERRE, a man of immense erudition, especially in archaeology, +curiosa and facetiae. I trust that I may be pardoned for here +mentioning that he often spoke of Breitmann's "Interview with the +Pope" as his favorite Macaronic poem, which, as he had published +two volumes of Macaronea, was praise indeed. His theory was, +that as Macaronics were the ultra-extravagance of poetry, he who +wrote most recklessly in them did best; in fact, that they should +excel in first-rate BADNESS; and from this point of view it is +possible that Breitmann's Latin lyric is not devoid of merit, +since assuredly nobody ever wrote a worse. The late LORD LYTTON, +or "Bulwer," was also kind enough to take an interest in these +Ballads, which was to me as gratifying as it was amazing. It was +one of the great surprises of my life. I have a long letter from +him, addressed to me on the appearance of the collected edition, +in 1870. In it he spoke with warmest compliment of the poem of +"Leyden," and the first verses of "Breitmann in Belgium." + +In conclusion, I acknowledge the courtesy of Messers. +DALZIELL BROTHERS for allowing me to republish here four poems +which had appeared in the "Brand New Ballads" published by them +in 1885. But to mention all of the people of whom I have +grateful memories in connection with the work, who have become +acquainted with me through it, or written to me, or said pleasant +words, would be impossible. I am happy to think it would embrace +many of the Men of the Times during the last twenty years -- and +unfortunately too many who are now departed. And trusting that +the reader will take in good part all that I have said, I remain, +-- his true friend (for truly there is no friend dearer than a +devoted reader), + +CHARLES G. LELAND + + +PREFACE + +----- + +When HANS BREITMANN'S PARTY, WITH OTHER BALLADS, appeared, +the only claim made on its behalf was, that it constituted the +first book ever written in English as imperfectly spoken by +Germans. The author consequently held himself bound to give his +broken English a truthful form. So far as observation and care, +aided by the suggestions of well-educated German friends, could +enable him to do this, it was done. But the more extensive were +his observations, the more did the fact force itself upon his +mind, that there is actually no well-defined method or standard +of "German-English," since not only do no two men speak it alike, +but no one individual is invariably consistent in his errors or +accuracies. Every reader who knows any foreign language +imperfectly is aware that HE SPEAKS IT BETTER AT ONE TIME THAN +ANOTHER, and it would consequently have been a grave error to +reduce the broken and irregular jargon of the book to a fixed and +regular language, or to require that the author should invariably +write exactly the same mispronunciations with strict consistency +on all occasions. + +The opinion -- entirely foreign to any intention of the +author -- that Hans Breitmann is an embodied satire on everything +German, has found very few supporters, and it is with the +greatest gratification that he has learned that educated and +intelligent Germans regard Hans as a jocose burlesque of a type +which is every day becoming rarer. And if Teutonic philosophy +and sentiment, beer, music, and romance, have been made the +medium for what many reviewers have kindly declared to be +laughter-moving, let the reader be assured that not a single word +was meant in a bitter or unkindly spirit. It is true that there +is always a standpoint from which any effort may be misjudged, +but this standpoint certainly did not occur to the writer when he +wrote, with anything but misgiving, of his "hearty, +hard-fighting, good-natured old ex-student," who, in the +political ballads and others, appears to no moral disadvantage by +the side of his associates. + +Breitmann in several ballads is indeed a very literal copy +or combination of characteristics of men who really exist or +existed, and who had in their lives embraced as many extremes of +thought as the Captain. America abounds with Germans, who, +having received in their youth a "classical education," have +passed through varied adventures, and often present the most +startling paradoxes of thought and personal appearance. I have +seen bearing a keg a porter who could speak Latin fluently. I +have been in a beer-shop kept by a man who was distinguished in +the Frankfurt Parliament. I have found a graduate of the +University of Munich in a negro minstrel troupe. And while +mentioning these as proof that Breitmann, as I have depicted him, +is not a contradictory character, I cannot refrain from a word of +praise as to the energy and patience with which the German "under +a cloud" in America bears his reverses, and works cheerfully and +uncomplainingly, until, by sheer perseverance, he, in most cases, +conquers fortune. In this respect the Germans, as a race, and I +might almost say as individuals, are superior to any others on +the American continent. And if I have jested with the German new +philosophy, it is with the more seriousness that I here +acknowledge the deepest respect for that true practical +philosophy of life -- that well-balanced mixture of stoicism and +epicurism -- which enables Germans to endure and to ENJOY under +circumstances when other men would probably despair. + +Breitmann is one of the battered types of the men of '48 -- +a person whose education more than his heart has in every way led +him to entire scepticism or indifference -- and one whose +Lutheranism does not go beyond "Wein, Weib, und Gesang." Beneath +his unlimited faith in pleasure lie natural shrewdness, an +excellent early education, and certain principles of honesty and +good fellowship, which are all the more clearly defined from his +moral looseness in details which are identified in the +Anglo-Saxon mind with total depravity. In such a man, the +appreciation of the beautiful in nature may be keen, but it will +continually vanish before humour or mere fun; while having no +deep root in life or interests in common with the settled +Anglo-Saxon citizen, he cannot fail to appear at times to the +latter as a near relation to Mephistopheles. But his "mockery" +is as accidental and naif as that of Jewish Young Germany is keen +and deliberate; and the former differs from the latter as the +drollery of Abraham a Santa Clara differs from the brilliant +satire of Heine. + +The reader should be fairly warned that these poems abound +in words, phrases, suggestions, and even couplets, borrowed to +such an extent from old ballads and other sources, as to make +acknowledgement in many cases seem affectation. Where this has +appeared to be worth the while, it has been done. The lyrics +were written for a laugh -- without anticipating publication, so +far as a number of the principal ones in the first volume were +concerned, and certainly without the least idea that they would +be extensively and closely criticised by eminent and able +reviewers. Before the compilation the "Barty" had almost passed +from the writer's memory, several other songs of the same +character by him were quite forgotten, while a number had formed +portions of letters to friends, by one of whom a few were +published in a newspaper. When finally urged by many who were +pleased with "Breitmann" to issue these humble lyrics in book +form, it was with some difficulty that the first volume was +brought together. + +The excuse for the foregoing observations is the unexpected +success of a book which is of itself of so eccentric a character +as to require some explanation. For its reception from the +public, and the kindness and consideration with which it has been +treated by the press, the author can never be sufficiently +grateful. + +CHARLES G. LELAND +London, 1871. + +CONTENTS + +HANS BREITMANN'S BARTY +BREITMANN AND THE TURNERS +BALLAD +A BALLAD APOUT DE ROWDIES +THE PICNIC +I GILI ROMANESKRO +STEINLI VON SLANG +TO A FRIEND STUDYING GERMAN +LOVE SONG +DER FREISCHUTZ +WEIN GEIST +SCHNITZERL'S PHILOSOPEDE -- +I. PROLOGUE +II. HANS BREITMANN AND HIS PHILOSOPEDE + +DIE SCHONE WITTWE -- +I. VOT DE YANKEE CHAP SUNG +II. HOW DER BREITMANN CUT HIM OUT + +BREITMANN IN BATTLE +BREITMANN IN MARYLAND +BREITMANN AS A BUMMER + SECOND PART + +BREITMANN'S GOING TO CHURCH +BREITMANN IN KANSAS +HANS BREITMANN'S CHRISTMAS +BREITMANN ABOUT TOWN +BREITMANN IN POLITICS -- + I. + 1. THE NOMINATION + 2. THE COMMITTEE OF INSTRUCTIONS + 3. MR. TWINE EXPLAINS BEING "SOUND UPON THE GOOSE" + II. + 4. HOW BREITMANN AND SMITH WERE REPORTED + TO BE LOG-ROLLING + 5. HOW THEY HELD THE MASS MEETING + 6. BREITMANN'S GREAT SPEECH + III. + PARDT DE VIRST: -- THE AUTHOR ASSERTS THE VAST INTELLECTUAL + SUPERIORITY OF GERMANS TO AMERICANS + PARDT DE SECOND: -- SHOWING HOW MR. HIRAM TWINE "PLAYED OFF" + ON SMITH +BREITMANN AS AN UHLAN -- + I. THE VISION + II. BREITMANN IN A BALLOON + III. BREITMANN AND BOUILLI + IV. BREITMANN TAKES THE TOWN OF NANCY + V. BREITMANN IN BIVOUAC + VI. BREITMANN'S LAST BARTY +EUROPE -- + BREITMANN IN PARIS + BREITMANN IN LA SORBONNE + BREITMANN IN FORTY-EIGHT +BREITMANN IN BELGIUM -- + SPA + OSTENDE + GENT +BREITMANN IN HOLLAND -- + 'S GRAVENHAGE -- THE HAGUE + LEYDEN + SCHEVENINGEN + AMSTERDAM +GERMANY -- + BREITMANN AM RHEIN -- COLOGNE + AM RHEIN -- NO. II + AM RHEIN -- NO. III + MUNICH + FRANKFORT-ON-THE-MAIN +ITALY -- + BREITMANN IN ROME + LA SCALA SANTA + BREITMANN INTERVIEWS THE POPE +THE FIRST EDITION OF BREITMANN -- + SHOWING HOW AND WHY IT WAS THAT IT NEVER APPEARED +LAST BALLADS -- + BREITMANN IN TURKEY + COBUS HAGELSTEIN + FRITZERL SCHNALL + THE GYPSY LOVER + DORNENLIEDER + BREITMANN'S SLEIGH-RIDE + THE MAGIC SHOES +GLOSSARY + + +INTRODUCTION +BY THE PUBLISHER + +--- + +"HANS BREITMANN GIFE A BARTY" - the first of the poems here +submitted to the English public - appeared originally in 1857, in +Graham's Magazine, in Philadelphia, and soon became widely +known. Few American poems, indeed, have been held in better or +more constant remembrance than the ballad of "Hans Breitmann's +Barty;" for the words just quoted have actually passed into a +proverbial expression. The other ballads of the present +collection, likewise published in several newspapers, were first +collected in 1869 by Mr. Leland, the translator of Heine's +"Pictures of Travel" and "Book of Songs," and author of Meister +Karl's Sketch -Book," Philadelphia, 1856 and "Sunshine in +Thought," New York, 1863. They are much of the same character as +"The Barty" - most of them celebrating the martial career of +"Hans Breitmann," whose prototype was a German, serving during +the war in the 15th Pennsylvanian cavalry, and who - we have it +on good authority - was a man of desperate courage whenever a +cent could be made, and one who never fought unless +something could be made. The "rebs" "gobbled" him +one day; but he re-appeared in three weeks overloaded with money +and valuables. One of the American critics remarks: - +"Throughout all the ballads it is the same figure presented - an +honest 'Deutscher,' drunk with the New World as with new wine, +and rioting in the expression of purely Deutsch nature and +half-Deutsch ideas through a strange speech." + + The poems are written in the dull broken English (not to be +confounded with the Pennsylvanian German) spoken by millions of - +mostly uneducated - Germans in America, immigrants to a great +extent from southern Germany. Their English has not yet become a +distinct dialect; and it would even be difficult to fix at +present the varieties in which it occurs. One of its prominent +peculiarities, however, is easily perceived: it consists in the +constant confounding of the soft and hard consonants; and the +reader must well bear it in mind when translating the language +that meets his eye into one to become intelligible to his ear. +Thus to the German of our poet, kiss becomes giss; company - +gompany; care - gare; count - gount; corner - gorner; till - +dill; terrible - derrible; time - dime; mountain - moundain; +thing - ding; through - droo; the - de; themselves - demselves; +other - oder; party - barty; place - blace; pig - big; priest - +breest; piano - biano; plaster - blaster; fine - vine; fighting - +vighting; fellow - veller; or, vice versa, he sounds got - +cot; green - creen; great - crate; gold dollars - cold tollars; +dam - tam; dreadful - treadful; drunk - troonk; brown - prown; +blood - ploot; bridge - pridge; barrel - parrel; boot - poot; +begging - peggin'; blackguard - plackguart; rebel - repel; never +- nefer; river - rifer; very - fery; give - gife; victory - +fictory; evening - efening; revive - refife; jump - shoomp; join +- choin; joy - choy; just - shoost; joke - choke; jingling - +shingling;, &c.; or, through a kindred change, both - bofe; youth +- youf; but mouth - mout'; earth - eart'; south - sout'; waiting +- vaiten;' was - vas; widow - vidow; woman - voman; work - vork; +one - von; we - ve, &c. And hence, by way of a compound mixture, +we get from him drafel for travel, derriple for terrible, a +daple-leck for a table-leg, bepples for pebbles, tisasder for +disaster, schimnastig dricks for gymnastic tricks, let-bencil for +lead-pencil, &c. The peculiarity of Germans pronouncing in their +mother tongue s like sh when it is followed by a t or +p, and of Germans in southern Germany often also final +s like sh, naturally produced in their American +jargon such results as shplit, shtop, shtraight, shtar, +shtupendous, shpree, shpirit, &c; ish(is), ash(as), &c.; and, by +analogy led to shveet(sweet), schwig(swig), &c. We need not +notice, however, more than these freaks of the +German-American-English of the present poems, as little as we +need advert to simple vulgarisms also met with in England, such +as the omission of the final g in words terminating in +ing (blayin' - playing; shpinnen' - spinning; ridin', +sailin', roonin', &c.). We must, of course, assume that the +reader of this little volume is well acquainted both with English +and German. + + The reader will perceive that the writer has taken another +flight in "Hans Breitmann's Christmas," and many of the later +ballads, from what he did in those preceding; and exception might +be taken to his choice of subjects, and treatment of them, if the +language employed by him were a fixed dialect - that is, a +language arrested at a certain stage of its progress; for in that +case he would have had to subordinate his pictures to the narrow +sphere of the realistic incidents of a given locality. But the +imperfect English utterances of the German, newly arrived in +America, coloured more or less by the peculiarities of his native +idiom, do not make, and never will make a dialect, for the simple +reason that, in proportion to his intelligence, his +opportunities, and the length of time spent by him among his new +English-speaking countrymen, he will sooner or later rid himself +of the crudenesses of his speech, thus preventing it from +becoming fixed. Many of the Germans who have emigrated and are +still emigrating to America belong to the well-educated classes, +and some possess a very high culture. Our poet has therefore +presented his typical German, with perfect propriety, in a +variety of situations which would be imperceptible within which +the the dialect necessarily moves, and has endowed him with +character, even where the local colour is wanting. + + In "Breitmann in Politics," we are on purely American ground. + + In it the Germans convince themselves that, as their hero can +no longer plunder the rebels, he ought to plunder the nation, and +they resolve on getting him elected to the State Legislature. +They accordingly form a committee, and formulate for their +candidate six "moral ideas" as his platform. These they show to +their Yankee helper, Hiram Twine, who, having changed his +politics fifteen times, and managed several elections, knows how +matters should be handled. He says the moral ideas are very +fine, but not worth a "dern;" and instead of them proclaims the +true cry, that Breitmann is sound upon the goose, about +which he tells a story. Then it is reported that the German +cannot win, and that, as he is a soldier, he has been sent into +the political field only to lead the forlorn hope and get beaten. +In answer to this, Twine starts the report that Smith has sold +the fight to Breitmann, a notion which the Americans take to +at once - + +"For dey mostly dinked id de naturalest ding as efer couldt pefall +For to sheat von's own gonstituents is de pest mofe in de came, +Und dey nefer sooposed a Dootchman hafe de sense to do de same." + +Accordingly, Breitmann calls a meeting of Smith's supporters, +tells them that he hopes to get a good place for his friend +Smith, though he cannot approve of Smith's teetotal principles, +because he, Breitmann, is a republican, and the meaning of that +word is plain: - "... If any enlightened man vill seeken in his +Bibel, he will find dat a publican is a barty ash sells +lager; und de ding is very blain, dat a re-publican +ish von who sells id 'gain und 'gain." Moreover, Smith believes +in God, and goes to church, - what liberal German can +stand this? - while Breitmann, being a publican, must be a +sinner. As to parties, the principles of both are the +same - plunder - and "any man who gifes me his fote, - votefer +his boledics pe, - shall alfays pe regardet ash bolidigal friendt +py me." + +This brings the house down. And when Breitmann announces that he +sells the best beer in the city, and stands drinks gratis to his +"bolidigal friendts," and orders in twelve barrels of lager for +the meeting, he is unanimously voted "a brickbat, and no +sardine." + + After this brilliant success, the author is obliged to pause, +in order to proclaim the intellectual superiority of Germans to +the whole world. He gets tremendously be-fogged in the process, +but that is no matter - + + "Ash der Hegel say of his system,' Dat only von mans knew + Vot der tyfel id meant; and he couldn't tell,' und der Jean + Paul Richter, too, + Who saidt, 'Gott knows, I meant somedings vhen foorst dis + buch I writ, + Boot Gott only weiss vot das buch means now, for I hafe + forgotten it!'" + +But, taking the point as proved, our German still allows that the +Yankees have some sharp-pointed sense, which he illustrates by +narrating how Hiram Twine turned a village of Smith-voters into +the Breitmann camp. The village is German and Democrat. Smith +has forgotten his meeting, and Twine, who is very like Smith, and +rides into the village to watch the meeting, is taken by the +Germans for Smith. On this, Twine resolves to personate Smith, +and give his supporters a dose of him. Accordingly, on being +asked to drink, he tells the Germans that none but hogs would +drink their stinking beer, and that German wine was only made for +German swine. Then he goes to the meeting, and, having wounded +their feelings in the tenderest point, - the love of beer, - +attacks the next tenderest, - their love for their language, - by +declaring that he will vote for preventing the speaking of it all +through the States; and winds up by exhorting them to stop +guzzling beer and smoking pipes, and set to work to un-Germanise +themselves as soon as possible. On this "dere coomed a shindy," +with cries of "Shoot him with a bowie-knife," and "Tar and +feather him." A revolver-ball cuts the chandelier-cord; all is +dark; and amidst the row, Twine escapes and gallops off, with +some pistol-balls after him. But the village votes for +Breitmann, and be "licks der Schmit." + + The ballad, "Breitmann's Going to Church," is based on a +real occurrence. A certain colonel, with his men, did really, +during the war, go to a church in or near Nashville, and, as the +saying is, "kicked up the devil, and broke things," to such an +extent, that a serious reprimand from the colonel's superior +officer was the result. The fact is guaranteed by Mr. Leland, +who heard the offender complain of the "cruel and heartless +stretch of military authority." As regards the firing into the +guerilla ball-room, it took place near Murfreesboro', on the +night of Feb. 10 or 11, 1865; and on the next day, Mr. Leland was +at a house where one of the wounded lay. On the same night a +Federal picket was shot dead near Lavergne; and the next night a +detachment of cavalry was sent off from General Van Cleve's +quarters, the officer in command coming in while the author was +talking with the general, for final orders. They rode twenty +miles that night, attacked a body of guerillas, captured a +number, and brought back prisoners early next day. The same day +Mr. Leland, with a small cavalry escort, and a few friends, went +out into the country, during which ride one or two curious +incidents occurred, illustrating the extraordinary fidelity of +the blacks to Federal soldiers. + + The explanation of the poem entitled, "The First Edition of +Breitmann," is as follows: - It was not long after the war that a +friend of the writer's to whom "the Breitmann Ballads" had been +sent in MSS., and who had frequently urged the former to have +them published, resolved to secure, at least, a small private +edition, though at his own expense. Unfortunately the printers +quarrelled about the MSS., and, as the writer understood, the +entire concern broke up in a row in consequence. And, in fact, +when we reflect on the amount of fierce attack and recrimination +we reflect this unpretending and peaceful little volume elicited +after the appearance of the fifth English edition, and the injury +which it sustained from garbled and falsified editions, in not +less than three unauthorised reprints, it would really seem as if +this first edition, which "died a borning," had been typical of +the stormy path to which the work was predestined. + + "I Gili Romaneskro," a gipsy ballad, was written both in the +original and translation - that is to say, in the German gipsy +and German English dialects - to cast a new light on the many-sided +Bohemianism of Herr Breitmann. + + The readers of more than one English newspaper will recall that +the idea of representing Breitmann as an Uhlan, scouting over France, +and frequently laying houses and even cities under heavy contribution, +has occurred to very many of "Our Own." A spirited correspondent of +the Telegraph, and others of literary fame, have familiarly +referred to the Uhlan as Breitmann, indicating that the +German-American free-lance has grown into a type; and more than one +newspaper, anticipating this volume, has published Anglo-German poems +referring to Hans Breitmann and the Prussian-French war. In several +pamphlets written in Anglo-German rhymes, which appeared in London in +1871, Breitmann was made the representative type of the war by both +the friends and opponents of Prussia, while during February of the +same year Hans figured at the same time, and on the same evenings for +several weeks, on the stages of three London theatres. So many +imitations of these poems were published, and so extensively and +familiarly was Mr. Leland's hero spoken of as the exponent of the +German cause, that it seemed to a writer at the time as if he had +become "as regards Germany what John Bull and Brother Jonathan have +long been to England and America." In connection with this remark, the +following extract from a letter of the Special Correspondent of the +London Daily Telegraph of August 29, 1870, may not be without +interest: - + + "The Prussian Uhlan of 1870 seems destined to fill in French +legendary chronicle the place which, during the invasions of 1814 +- 15, was occupied by the Cossack. He is a great traveller. +Nancy, Bar-le-Duc, Commercy, Rheims, Chalons, St. Dizier, +Chaumont, have all heard of him. The Uhlan makes himself quite +at home, and drops in, entirely in a friendly way, on mayors and +corporations, asking not only himself to dinner, but an +indefinite number of additional Uhlans, who, he says, may be +expected hourly. The Uhlan wears a blue uniform turned up with +yellow, and to the end of his lance is affixed a streamer +intimately resembling a very dirty white pocket-handkerchief. +Sometimes he hunts in couples, sometimes he goes in threes, and +sometimes in fives. When he lights upon a village, he holds it +to ransom; when he comes upon a city, he captures it, making it +literally the prisoner of his bow and his spear. A writer in +Blackwood's Magazine once drove the people of Lancashire to +madness by declaring that, in the Rebellion of 1745, Manchester +'was taken by a Scots sergeant and a wench;' but it is a +notorious fact that Nancy submitted without a murmur to five +Uhlans, and that Bar-le-Duc was occupied by two. When the Uhlan +arrives in a conquered city, he visits the mayor, and makes his +usual inordinate demands for meat, drink, and cigars. If his +demands are acceded to, he accepts everything with a grin. If he +is refused, he remarks, likewise with a grin, that he will come +again to-morrow with three thousand light horsemen, and he +gallops away; but in many cases he does not return. The secret +of the fellow's success lies mainly in his unblushing impudence, +his easy mendacity, and that intimate knowledge of every highway +and byway of the country which, thanks to the military +organisation of the Prussian army, he has acquired in the +regimental school. He gives himself out to be the precursor of +an imminently advancing army, when, after all, he is only a +boldly adventurous free-lance, who has ridden thirty miles across +country on the chance of picking up something in the way of +information or victuals. Only one more touch is needed to +complete the portrait of the Uhlan. His veritable name would +seem to be Hans Breitmann, and his vocation that of a 'bummer;' +and Breitmann, we learn from the preface to Mr. Leland's +wonderful ballad, had a prototype in a regiment of Pennsylvanian +cavalry by the name of Jost, whose proficiency in 'bumming,' +otherwise 'looting,' in swearing, fighting, and drinking lager +beer, raised him to a pitch of glory on the Federal side which +excited at once the envy and the admiration of the boldest +bush-whackers and the gauntest guerillas in the Confederate +host." + + The present edition embraces all the Breitmann poems which +have as yet appeared; and the publisher trusts that in their +collected form they will be found much more attractive than in +scattered volumes. Many new lyrics, illustrating the hero's +travels in Europe, have been added, and these, it is believed, +are not inferior to their predecessors. + +N. TRUBNER. + +The Breitmann Ballads. + +------- + +HANS BREITMANN'S BARTY. + +HANS BREITMANN gife a barty; + Dey had biano-blayin', +I felled in lofe mit a Merican frau, + Her name vas Madilda Yane. +She hat haar as prown ash a pretzel, + Her eyes vas himmel-plue, +Und vhen dey looket indo mine, + Dey shplit mine heart in dwo. + +Hans Breitmann gife a barty, + I vent dere you'll pe pound; +I valtzet mit Matilda Yane, + Und vent shpinnen' round und round. +De pootiest Fraulein in de house, + She vayed 'pout dwo hoondred pound, +Und efery dime she gife a shoomp + She make de vindows sound. + +Hans Breitmann gife a barty, + I dells you it cost him dear; +Dey rolled in more ash sefen kecks + Of foost-rate lager beer. +Und vhenefer dey knocks de shpicket in + De deutschers gifes a cheer; +I dinks dot so vine a barty + Nefer coom to a het dis year. + +Hans Breitmann gife a barty; + Dere all vas Souse and Brouse, +Vhen de sooper comed in, de gompany + Did make demselfs to house; +Dey ate das Brot and Gensy broost, + De Bratwurst and Braten vine, +Und vash der Abendessen down + Mit four parrels of Neckarwein. + +Hans Breitmann gife a barty; + Ve all cot troonk ash bigs. +I poot mine mout' to a parrel of beer, + Und emptied it oop mit a schwigs; +Und den I gissed Madilda Yane, + Und she shlog me on de kop, +Und de gompany vighted mit daple-lecks + Dill de coonshtable made oos shtop. + +Hans Breitmann gife a barty -- + Vhere ish dot barty now? +Vhere ish de lofely golden cloud + Dot float on de moundain's prow? +Vhere ish de himmelstrahlende stern -- + De shtar of de shpirit's light? +All goned afay mit de lager beer -- + Afay in de ewigkeit! + + +BREITMANN AND THE TURNERS. + +HANS BREITMANN shoined de Turners, + Novemper in de fall, +Und dey gifed a boostin' bender + All in de Turner Hall. +Dere coomed de whole Gesangverein + Mit der Liederlich Aepfel Chor,[1] +Und dey blowed on de drooms and stroomed on de fifes + Till dey couldn't refife no more. + +Hans Breitmann shoined de Turners, + Dey all set oop some shouts, +Dey took'd him into deir Turner Hall, + Und poots him a course of shprouts. +Dey poots him on de barell-hell pars + Und shtands him oop on his head, +Und dey poomps de beer mit an enchine hose + In his mout' dill he's 'pout half tead! + +Hans Breitmann shoined de Turners; + Dey make shimnastig dricks; +He stoot on de middle of de floor, + Und put oop a fifdy-six. +Und den he drows it to de roof, + Und schwig off a treadful trink: +De veight coom toomple back on his headt, + Und py shinks! he didn't vink! + +Hans Breitmann shoined de Turners:-- + Mein Gott! how dey drinked und shwore; +Dere vas Schwabians und Tyrolers, + Und Bavarians by de score. +Some vellers coomed from de Rheinland, + Und Frankfort-on-de-Main, +Boot dere vas only von Sharman dere, + Und he vas a Holstein Dane. + +Hans Breitmann shoined de Turners, + Mit a Limpurg' cheese he coom; +Vhen he open de box it schmell so loudt + It knock de musik doomb. +Vhen de Deutschers kit de flavour, + It coorl de haar on deir head; +Boot dere vas dwo Amerigans dere; + Und, py tam! it kilt dem dead! + +Hans Breitmann shoined de Turners; + De ladies coomed in to see; +Dey poot dem in de blace for de gals, + All in der gal-lerie. +Dey ashk: "Vhere ish der Breitmann?" + Und dey dremple mit awe and fear +Vhen dey see him schwingen' py de toes, + A trinken' lager beer. + +Hans Breitmann shoined de Turners: + I dells you vot py tam! +Dey sings de great Urbummellied:[2] + De holy Sharman psalm. +Und vhen de kits to de gorus + You ought to hear dem dramp! +It scared der Teufel down below + To hear de Dootchmen stamp. + +Hans Breitmann shoined de Turners:-- + By Donner! it vas grand, +Vhen de whole of dem goes valkin + Und dancin' on deir hand, +Mit deir veet all vavin' in de air, + Gottstausend! vot a dricks! +Dill der Breitmann fall und dey all go down + Shoost like a row of bricks. + +Hans Breitmann shoined de Turners, + Dey lay dere in a heap, +And slept dill de early sonnen shine + Come in at de vindow creep; +And de preeze it vake dem from deir dream, + And dey go to kit deir feed: +Here hat dis song an ende -- + Das ist DES BREITMANNSLEID. + + +BALLAD. + +BY HANS BREITMANN. + +Der noble Ritter Hugo + Von Schwillensaufenstein, +Rode out mit shper and helmet, + Und he coom to de panks of de Rhine. + +Und oop dere rose a meermaid, + Vot hadn't got nodings on, +Und she say, "Oh, Ritter Hugo, + Vhere you goes mit yourself alone?" + +And he says, "I rides in de creenwood, + Mit helmet und mit shpeer, +Til I coomes into em Gasthaus, + Und dere I trinks some beer." + +Und den outshpoke de maiden + Vot hadn't got nodings on: +"I don't dink mooch of beoplesh + Dat goes mit demselfs alone. + +"You'd petter coom down in de wasser, + Vhere dere's heaps of dings to see, +Und hafe a shplendid tinner + Und drafel along mit me. + +"Dere you sees de fisch a schwimmin', + Und you catches dem efery von:"-- +So sang dis wasser maiden + Vot hadn't got nodings on. + +"Dere ish drunks all full mit money + In ships dat vent down of old; +Und you helpsh yourself, by dunder! + To shimmerin' crowns of gold. + +"Shoost look at dese shpoons und vatches! + Shoost see dese diamant rings! +Coom down and fill your bockets, + Und I'll giss you like efery dings. + +"Vot you vantsh mit your schnapps und lager? + Coom down into der Rhine! +Der ish pottles der Kaiser Charlemagne + Vonce filled mit gold-red wine!" + +Dat fetched him - he shtood all shpell pound; + She pooled his coat-tails down, +She drawed him oonder der wasser, + De maiden mit nodings on. + + +A BALLAD APOUT DE ROWDIES. + +De moon shines ofer de cloudlens, + Und de cloudts plow ofer de sea, +Und I vent to Coney Island, + Und I took mein Schatz mit me. +Mein Schatz, Katrina Bauer, + I gife her mein heart und vortdt; +Boot ve tidn't know vot beoples + De Dampfsschiff hafe cot on poard. + +De preeze plowed cool und bleasant, + We looket at de town +Mit sonn-light on de shdeebles, + Und wetter fanes doornin' round. +Ve sat on de deck in a gorner + Und dropled nopody dere, +Vhen all aroundt oos de rowdies + Peginned to plackguard und schvear. + +A voman mit a papy + Vos sittin' in de blace; +Von tooket a chew tobacco + Und trowed it indo her vace. +De voman got coonvulshons, + De papy pegin to gry; +Und de rowdies shkreemed out a laffin, + Und saidt dat de fun was "high." + +Pimepy ve become some hoonger, + Katrina Bauer und I, +I openet de lit of mine pasket, + Und pringed out a cherry bie. +A cherry kooken mit pretzels, + "How goot!" Katrina said, +Vhen a rowdy snatched it from her, + Und preaked it ofer mine het. + +I dells him he pe a plackguart, + I gifed him a biece my mind, +I vouldt saidt it pefore a tousand, + Mit der teufel himself pehind. +Den he knocks me down mit a sloong-shot, + Und peats me plack and plue; +Und de plackguards kick me, + Dill I vainted, und dat ish drue. + +De rich American beoples + Don't know how de rowdies shtrike +Der poor hardtworkin' Sharman, + He knows it more ash he like. +If de Deutsche speakers und bapers + Are somedimes too hard on dis land, +Shoost dink how de Deutsch kit driven + Along by de rowdy's hand! + + +THE PICNIC + +DE picknock oud at Spraker's Wood:- +It melt de soul und fire de plood. +Id sofly slid from cakes und cream; +Boot busted oop on brandy shdeam. + +Mit stims of tender graceful ring, +De gals begoon a song to sing; +A bland mildt lied of olden dime- +Deutsch vas die doon, und Deutsch de rhyme. + +Wi's uff der Stross' wenn's finschter ischt, +Und niemond in der Goss' mehr ischt, +Nur Schone Madel wolle mer fonga, +Wie es gebil'te Leut' verlonga. + +At de picknock oud in Spraker's Wood, +De Bier was soft-de gals were good: +Oondil von feller, vild and rasch, +Called out for a Yankee brandy-smash! + +A crow vot vas valkin on de vall, +Fell dead ven he hear dis Dootchmann call; +For he knew dat droples coom, py shinks! +Ven de Dootch go in for Yankee drinks. + +De Dootch got ravin droonk ash sin, +Dey smash de windows out und in; +Dey bust und bang de bar-room ein, +Und call for a bucket of branntewein. + +Avay, avay, demselfs dey floong, +Und a wild infernal lied dey sung: +'Tvas, "Tam de wein, and cuss de bier! +Ve tont care nix for de demprance here! + +"O keep a pringin juleps in, +Und baldface corn dat burn like sin; +Mit apple tods und oldt shtone fence, +Ve'll all get corned ere ve go hence!" + +Dey dash deir glasses on de cround, +Und tanz dill'tvas all to brick-duss ground, +Ven dey hear von man had a ten-dollar note, +De crowd go dead for dat rich man's troat. + +A demperance chap vot coomed dere in, +Vent squanderin out mit his shell burst in; +"It's walk your chalks, you loost your chance, +Dis vot de call der Dootchmans' dance." + +Boot ven de law, mit his myrmidon, +Vas hear of dese Dootchmen's carryins-on, +Dey sent bolicemen shtern und good, +To pull dose Dootch in Spraker's Wood. + +De Dootch vas all gone roarin mad, +Und trinked mit Spraker all dey had; +Dey shpend 'nuf money to last deir life, +And each vas tantzin mit anoder man's wife. + +Dey all cot poonish difers vays, +Some vent to jug for dirty tays; +Und de von dat kilt de demperance man +Vas kit from de Alderman repriman. + +Und dus it ran:-"A warnin dake, +For you mighdt hafe mate soom pig mishdake; +Now how vouldt you hafe feeled, py shing! +If dat man hat peen in de whiskey ring? + +"Since you votes mine dicket, of course you know, +I'm pound to led you shlide und go. +Boot nefer on whiskey trink your fill, +For you Dootchmen don't know who to kill." + +Now Deutschers all-on dis warning dink, +Und don't get troonk on Yankee trink, +For neider you, or anoder man, +Can pe hocks like de New York rowdies can. + +So trink goot bier, mit musik plest, +For if you tried your level best, +You can't be plackguarts-taint in de plood: +Dus endet de shdory of Spraker's Wood. + + +I GILI ROMANESKRO. + +A GIPSY BALLAD. + + Vhen der Herr Breitmann vas a yungling, he vas go bummin aroundt +goot deal in de worldt, vestigatin human natur, roulant de vergne +en vergne, ash de Fraentsch boet says: "goin from town to town;" +seein beobles in gemixed sociedy, und learnin dose languages vitch +ornamendt a drue moskopolite, or von whose kopf ish bemosst mit +experience. Mong oder tongues, ash it would appeared, he shpoke +fluendly, Red Welsh, Black Dootch, Kauder-Waelsch, Gaunersprache, +und Shipsy; und dis latter languashe he pring so wide dat he write +a pook of pallads in it,-von of vitch pallads I hafe intuce him mit +moosh droples to telifer ofer to de worldt. De inclined reader +vill, mit crate heavy-hood blace pefore himself de fexation und +lapor I hafe hat in der Breitmann his absents, to ged dese Shipsy +verses broperly gorrected; as de only shentleman in town who vas +culpable of so doin, ish peen gonfined in de town-brison, pout some +droples he hat for shdealin some hens; und pefore I couldt consoolt +mit him, he vas rooned afay. Denn I fond an oldt vomans Shipsy, +who vas do nodings boot peg, und so wider mit pout five or four +oders more. Derfore, de errordoms moost pe excused py de enlightened +pooplic, who are fomiliar mit dis peautiful languashe, vitch is now so +shenerally fashionabel in laterary und shpordin circles. + +F. SCHWACKENHAMMER. + +---------- + +I GILI ROMANESKRO. + +Schunava, ke baschno del a godla, + Schunava Paschomaskro. +Te del miro Dewel tumen + Dschavena Bachtallo.[3] + +Schunava opre to ruka + Chiriklo ke gillela: +Kamovela but dives, + Eh'me pale kamaveva. + +Apo je wa'wer divesseste + Schunava pro gilaviben, +M'akana me avava, + Pro marzos, pro kuriben. + +So korava kuribente, + So korava apre drom; +Me kanav miri romni, + So kamela la lakero rom. + +DRANSLATION. + +I hear de gock a growin! + I hear de musikant! +Gott gife dee a happy shourney + Vhen you go to a distand landt. + +I hears oopon de pranches + A pird mit merry shdrain, +Goot many tays moost fanish + Ere I coom to dis blace again. + +Oopon some oder tay-times + I'll hear dat song from dee; +Boot now I goes ash soldier + To war, o'er de rollin sea. + +Und vot I shdeals in pattle, + Und vot on de road I shdeal, +I'll pring all to my true lofe + Who lofes her lofer so well. + + +STEINLI VON SLANG. + +I. + +DER watchman look out from his tower + Ash de Abendgold glimmer grew dim, +Und saw on de road troo de Gauer + Ten shpearmen coom ridin to him: +Und he schvear: "May I lose my next bitter, + Und denn mit der Teufel go hang! +If id isn't dat pully young Ritter, + De hell-drivin Steinli von Slang. + +"De vorldt nefer had any such man, + He vights like a sturm in its wrath: +You may call me a recular Dutchman, + If he arn't like Goliath of Gath. +He ish big ash de shiant O'Brady, + More ash sefen feet high on a string, +Boot he can't vin de hearts of my lady, + De lofely Plectruda von Sling." + +De lady make welcome her gast in, + Ash he shtep to de dop of de shtair, +She look like an angel got lost in + A forest of audumn-prown hair. +Und a bower-maiden said ash she tarried: + "I wish I may bust mit a bang! +If id isn't a shame she ain't married + To der her-re-liche Steinli von Slang!" + +He pows to de cround fore de lady, + Vhile his vace ish ash pale ash de tead; +Und she vhispers oonto him a rede + Ash mit arrow point accents, she said: +"You hafe long dimes peen dryin to win me, + You hafe vight, and mine braises you sing, +Boot I'm 'fraid dat de notion aint in me, + De Lady Plectruda von Sling. + +"Boot brafehood teserves a reward, sir; + Dough you've hardly a chost of a shanse. +Sankt Werolf! medinks id ish hard, sir, + I should allaweil lead you dis dance." +Like a bees vhen it it booz troo de clofer, + Dese murmurin accents she flang, +Vhile singin, a stingin her lofer, + Der woe-moody Ritter von Slang. + +"Boot if von ding you do, I'll knock under, + Our droples moost endin damit +Und if you pull troo it,- by donder! + I'll own myself euchred, und bit. +I schvear py de holy Sanct Chlody! + Py mine honor-und avery ding! +You may hafe me-soul, puttons und pody, + Mit de whole of Plectruda von Sling." + +"Und dish ish de test of your power:- + Vhile ve shtand ourselfs round in a row, +You moost roll from de dop of dis tower, + Down shdairs to de valley pelow. +Id ish rough and shteep ash my virtue:" + (Mit schwanenshweet accents she sang:) +"Tont try if you dinks id vill hurt you, + Mine goot liddle Ritter von Slang." + +An Moormoor arosed mong de beoples; + In fain tid she doorn in her shkorn, +Der vatchman on dop of de shdeeples + Plowed a sorryfool doon on his horn. +Ash dey look down de dousand-foot treppe, + Dey schveared dey vouldt pass on de ding, +Und not roll down de firstest tam steppe + For a hoondred like Fraulein von Sling. + +II. + +'Twas audumn. De dry leafs vere bustlin + Und visperin deir elfin wild talk, +Vhen shlow, mit his veet in dem rustlin, + Herr Steinli coomed out for a walk. +Wild dooks vly afar in de gloamin, + He hear a vaint gry vrom de gang; +Und vished he vere off mit dem roamin: + De heart-wounded Ritter Von Slang. + +Und ash he vent musin und shbeakin, + He se, shoost ahead in his vay, +In sinkular manner a streakin, + A strange liddle bein, in cray, +Who toorned on him quick mit a holler, + Und cuttin a dwo bigeon ving, +Cried, "Say, can you change me a thaler, + Oh, guest of de Lady von Sling?" + +De knight vas a goot-nadured veller, + (De peggars all knowed him at sight,) +So he forked out each groschen und heller, + Dill he fix de finances aright. +Boot shoost ash de liddle man vent, he, + (Der Ritter,) ashtonished cried "Dang!" +For id vasn't von thaler boot tventy, + He'd passed on der Ritter von Slang. + +O reater! Soopose soosh a vlight in + De vingers of me, or of you, +How we'd toorned on our heels, und gon kitin + Dill no von vos left to pursue! +Good Lort! how we'd froze to de ready! + Boot mit him 'dvas a different ding; +For he vent on de high, moral steady, + Dis lofer of Fraulein von Sling. + +Und dough no von vill gife any gredit + To dis part of mine dale, shdill id's drue, +He drafelled ash if he vould dead it, + Dis liddle oldt man to pursue. +Und loudly he after him hollers, + Till de vales mit de cliffers loud rang: +"You hafe gifed me nine-ten too moosh dollars, + Hold Hard!" cried der Ritter von Slang. + +De oldt man ope his eyes like a casement, + Und laid a cold hand on his prow, +Denn mutter in ootmosdt amazement, + "Vot manner of mordal art dou? +I hafe lifed in dis world a yar tausend, + Und nefer yed met soosh a ding! +Yet you find it hart vork to pe spouse, and + Peloved by de Lady von Sling! + +"Und she vant you to roll from de tower + Down shteps to yon rifulet spot." +(Here de knight, whom amazement o'erbower, + Cried, "Himmels potz pumpen Herr Gott!") +Boot de oldt veller saidt: "I'll arrange it, + Let your droples und sorrows co hang! +Und nodings vill coom to derange it- + Pet high on it, Ritter von Slang. + +"So get oop dis small oonderstandin, + Dat to-morrow by ten, do you hear? +You'll pe mit your trunk at de landin; + I'll also be dere-nefer fear! +Und I dinks we shall make your young voman + A new kind of meloty sing; +Dat vain, wicked, cruel, unhuman, + Gott-tamnaple Fraulein von Sling." + +De fiolet shdars vere apofe him, + Vhite moths und vhite dofes shimmered round, +All nature seemed seekin to lofe him, + Mit perfume und vision und sound. +De liddle oldt veller hat fanished, + In a harp-like, melotious twang; +Und mit him all sorrow vas panished + Afay from der Steinli von Slang. + +III. + +Id vas morn, und de vorldt hat assempled + Mid panners und lances und dust, +Boot de heart of de Paroness trempled, + Und ofden her folly she cussed. +For she found dat der Ritter vould do it, + Und "die or get into de Ring," +Und denn she'd pe cerdain to rue it, + Aldough she vas Lady von Sling. + +For no man in Deutschland stood higher + Dan he mit de Minnesing crew, +He vas friendet to Heini von Steier, + Und Wolfram von Eschenbach too. +Und she dinked ash she look from de vinders, + How herzlich his braises dey sang; +"Now dey'll knock my goot name indo flinders, + For killin der Ritter von Slang." + +Boot oh! der goot knight had a Schauer, + Und felt most ongommonly queer, +Vhen he find on de top of de dower + De goblum, pesite him, abbear. +Denn he find he no more could go valkin, + Und shtood, shoost and potrified ding, +Vhile de goblum vent round about talkin, + Und chaffin Plectruda von Sling. + +Denn at vonce he see indo de problum, + Und vas stoggered like rats at ids vim: +His soul had gone indo de goblum, + Und de goblum's hat gone indo him. +Und de eyes of de volk vas enchanted, + Dere vas "glamour" oopon de whole gang; +For dey dinked dat dis veller who ranted + So loose, vas der Ritter von Slang. + +Und, Lordt! how he dalked! Oonder heafens + Dere vas nefer soosh derriple witz, +Knockin all dings to sechses and sefens, + Und gifin Plectruda, Dutch fits. +Mein Gott! how he poonished und chaffed her + Like a hell-stingin, devil-born ding; +Vhile de volk lay a-rollin mit laughter + At Fraulein Plectruda von Sling. + +De lady grew angry und paler, + De lady grew ratful und red, +She felt some Satanical jailer + Hafe brisoned de tongue in her head. +She moost laugh vhen she vant to pe cryin, + Und vas crushed mit de teufelisch clang, +Till she knelt herself, pooty near dyin, + To dis derriple image of Slang. + +Denn der goblum shoomp oop to der ceiling + Und trow sommerseds round on de vloor, +Right ofer Plectruda a-kneelin, + Dill she look more a vool dan pefore. +Denn he roll down de shteps light und breezy, + His laughs made it all apout ring; +Ash he shveared dere vas noding more easy + Dan to win a Plectruda von Sling. + +Und vhen he cot down to de pottom, + He laugh so to freezen your plood; +Und schwear dat de boomps ash he cot em + Hafe make him feel petter ash good. +Boot, oh! how dey shook at his power, + Vhen he toorned himself roundt mit a bang, +Und roll oop to de dop of de tower, + To change forms mit de oder Von Slang! + +Denn all in an insdand vas altered, + Der Steinli vas coom to himself; +Und de sprite, vitch in double sense paltered, + From dat moment acain vas an elf. +Dey shdill dinked dat he vas de person + Who had bobbed oop and down on de ving, +Und knew not who 'tvas lay de curse on + De peaudiful Lady von Sling. + +Nun-endlich- Plectruda repented, + Und gazed on der Ritter mit shoy; +In dime to pe married consented, + Und vas plessed mit a peautifool poy. +A dwenty gold biece on his bosom + Vhen geporn vas tiscofered to hang +Mit de inscript-"Dis dime dont refuse em"- + So endet de tale of Von Slang. + +Dresden, 1870. + + +TO A FRIEND STUDYING GERMAN. + +Si liceret te amare +Ad Suevorum magnum mare +Sponsam te perducerem + - Tristicia Amorosa. + Frau Aventiure, + von J. V. Scheffel. + +VILL'ST dou learn die Deutsche Sprache? + Denn set it on your card, +Dat all the nouns have shenders, + Und de shenders all are hard. +Dere ish also dings called pronoms, + Vitch id's shoost ash vell to know; +Boot ach! de verbs or time-words- + Dey'll work you bitter woe. + +Will'st dou learn de Deutsche Sprche? + Den you allatag moost go +To sinfonies, sonatas, + Or an oratorio. +Vhen you dinks you knows 'pout musik, + More ash any other man, +Be sure de soul of Deutschland + Into your soul ish ran. + +Will'st dou learn de Deutsche Sprache? + Dou moost eat apout a peck +A week of stinging sauerkraut,[4] + Und sefen pfoundts of speck. +Mit Gott knows vot in vinegar, + Und deuce knows vot in rum: +Dis ish de only cerdain vay + To make de accents coom. + +Will'st dou learn de Deutsche Sprache? + Brepare dein soul to shtand +Soosh sendences ash ne'er vas heardt + In any oder land. +Till dou canst make parentheses + Intwisted-ohne zahl- +Dann wirst du erst Deutschfertig seyn,[5] + For a languashe ideal. + +Will'st dou learn de Deutsche Sprache? + Du must mitout an fear +Trink afery tay an gallon dry, + Of foamin Sherman bier. +Und de more you trinks, pe certain, + More Deutsch you'll surely pe; +For Gambrinus ish de Emperor + Of de whole of Germany. + +Will'st dou learn de Deutsche Sprache? + Be sholly, brav, und treu, +For dat veller ish kein Deutscher + Who ish not a sholly poy. +Find out vot means Gemutlichkeit, + Und do it mitout fail, +In Sang und Klang dein Lebenlang,[6] + A brick-ganz kreuzfidel. + +Willst dou learn de Deutsche Sprache? + If a shendleman dou art, +Denn shtrike right indo Deutschland, + Und get a schveetes heart. +From Schwabenland or Sachsen + Vhere now dis writer pees; +Und de bretty girls all wachsen + Shoost like aepples on de drees. + +Boot if dou bee'st a laty, + Denn on de oder hand, +Take a blonde moustachioed lofer + In de vine green Sherman land. +Und if you shoost kit married + (Vood mit vood soon makes a vire), +You'll learn to sprechen Deutsch mein kind, + Ash fast ash you tesire. + +Dresden, January 1870. + + +LOVE SONG + +Vulnerasti cor meum, soror mea sponsa. + +O VERE mine lofe a sugar-powl, + De fery shmallest loomp +Vouldt shveet de seas, from pole to pole, + Und make de shildren shoomp. +Und if she vere a clofer-field, + I'd bet my only pence, +It vouldn't pe no dime at all + Pefore I'd shoomp de fence. + +Her heafenly foice, it drill me so, + It oft-dimes seems to hoort, +She ish de holiest anamile + Dat roons oopon de dirt. +De renpow rises vhen she sings, + De sonnshine vhen she dalk; +De angels crow und flop deir vings + Vhen she goes out to valk. + +So livin white, so carnadine, + Mine lofe's gomblexion show; +It's shoost like Abendcarmosine, + Rich gleamin on de shnow. +Her soul makes plushes in her sheek + Ash sommer reds de wein, +Or sonnlight sends a fire life troo + An blank Karfunkelstein. + +De uberschwengliche idees + Dis lofe poot in my mind, +Vouldt make a foost-rate philosoph + Of any human kind. +'Tis schudderin schveet on eart to meet + An himmlisch-hoellisch Qual; +Und treat mitwhiles to Kummel Schnapps + De schoenheitsideal. + +Dein Fuss seind weiss wie Kreiden, + Dein Ermlein Helfenbein, +Dein ganzer Leib ist Seiden + Dein Brust wie Marmelstein- +Ja-vot de older boet sang, + I sing of dee-dou Fine! +Dou'rt soul und pody, heart und life + Glatt, zart, gelind, und rein.[7] + + +DER FREISCHUTZ + +AIR - "Der Pabst lebt," &c. + +WIE gehts, my frendts-if you'll allow- +I sings you rite afay shoost now +Some dretful shdories vitch dey calls +Der Freyschutz, or de Magic Balls. + +Wohl in Bohemian land it cooms, +Vhere folk trink prandy mate of plooms;[8] +Dere lifed ein Yaeger-Maxerl Schmit- +Who shot mit goons und nefer hit. + +Now dere vas von oldt Yaeger, who +Says, "Maxerl, dis vill nefer do; +If you shouldt miss on drial-tay, +Dere'll pe der tyfel denn to bay. + +"If you do miss, you shtupid coose, +Dere'll pe de donnerwetter loose; +For you shant hafe mine taughter's hand, +Nor pe der Hertzhog's yaegersmann." + +Id coomed pefore de tay vas set, +Dat all de shaps togeder met; +Und Max he fired his goon und missed, +Und all de gals cot roundt und hissed. + +Dey laughed pefore und hissed pehind; +Boot von shap-Kaspar-saidt, "Ton't mind; +I dells you vot-you stoons 'em alls +If yoost you shoodt mit magic balls." + +"De magic balls! oh, vot is dat?" +"I cot soom in my hoontin' hat; +Dey're plack as kohl, und shoodt so drue: +Oh, dem's de kindt of balls for you. + +"You see dat eagle vlyin' high, +Ein hoondred miles oop in de sky; +Shoot at dat eagle mit your bix, +You kills hin tead ash doonderblix!" + +"I ton't pelieve de dings you say." +"You fool," says Kasp, "denn plaze afay!" +He plazed afay, vhen, sure as plood, +Down coom de eagle in de mud. + +"O was ist das?" said Maxerl Schmit: +"Vhy! dat's de eagle vot you hit. +You kills him vhen you plaze afay; +Boot dat's a ding you nix verstay. + +"Und you moost go to make dem balls +To de Wolf's Glen vhen mitnight valls. +Dow know'st de shpot-alone und late"- +"Oh ja-I know shim ganz foost-rate! + +"Boot denn I does not like to co +Among dem dings." Says Kasp, "Ach, 'sho! +I'll help you fix dem tyfel chaps, +Like a goot veller-dake some schnapps!" + +("Hilf Zamiel! hilf")-"Here, dake some more!' +Denn Kasp vent shtompin' roundt de vloor, +Und coomed his hoompugs ofer Schmit, +Dill Max saidt, "Nun-ich gehe mit!" + +All in de finster mitternocht, +Vhen oder folk in shleep vas lockt, +Down in de Wolfschlucht, Kasp tid dry +His tyfel-strikes und Hexery. + +Mit skools und pones he mate a ring, +De howls und shpooks pegin to sing, +Und all the tyfels oonder croundt +Coom preakin' loose und rooshin' roundt. + +Denn Maxerl cooms along: says he, +"Mein Gott! vot dings ish dis I see! +I dinks de fery tyfel und all +Moost help to make dem magic ball. + +"I vish dat I had nix cum raus, +Und shtaid mineself in bett to house." +"Hilf Zamiel!" cried Kasp; "you whelp- +You red Dootch tyfel-coom und help!" + +Den oop dere coomed a tredfull shdorm, +De todtengrips aroundt tid schvarm; +De howl shoomped oop und flopt his vings +Und toorned his het like avery dings. + +Oop droo de croundt dere coomed a pot +Mit leadt, und dings to make de shot; +Und hoellisch fire in grimson plaze, +Und awful schmells like Schweitzer kase. + +Agross de scene a pine-shtick flew +Mit seferal shail-pirds vastened to; +Six treadtful shail-pirds mit deir vings +Tied to de shticks mit magic shtrings. + +All droo de air, all in a row, +Die wilde Jagd vas seen to go; +De hounds und teer all mate of pone, +Und hoonted py a skilleton. + +Dere coomed a tredful shpecdre pig, +Who, shpitten' fire afay, tid dig; +Und fiery drocks und tyfel-shnake +A scootin' droo de air tid preak. + +Boot Kaspar tidn't mindt dem alls, +But casted out de pullet balls; +Six vas to go ash he vouldt like, +De sevent' moost for de tyfel shtrike. + +Ad last, oopon de drial tay, +De gals cot roundt so nice und gay, +Und den dey goed und maked a tantz, +Und singed apout de Jungfernkranz. + +Und denn der Hertshog-dat's der Duke- +Cooms doun und dinks he'll dake a look; +"Young mans," to Maxerl denn saidt he, +"Shoost shoot dem dove oopon dat dree!" + +Denn Maxerl pointed mit de bix, +"Potzblitz!" says he, "dat dove I'll fix!" +He fired his rifle at de Taub', +When Kass rollt ofer in de Staub. + +De pride she falled too in de doost, +Dey gals dey cried, de men dey got coossed: +Der Hertshog says, "Id's fery glear +Dat dere has peen some tyfels here! + +"Und Max has shot mit tyfels-blei! +Pfui!-die verfluchte Hexerei! +O Maximilian! O Du +Gehst nit mit rechten Dingen zu!" + +Boot denn a hermits coomed in late; +Says he, "I'll fix dese dings foostrate;" +Und telled der Hertshog dat yung men +Vill raise der Tyfel now und denn. + +De Duke forgifed de Kaspar dann, +Und mate of him a Yaegersmann, +Vhat shoodts mit bixen goon, und pfeil, +Und talks apout de Waidmannsheil. + +Und denn de pride she coomed to life, +Und cot to pe de Maxerl's vife; +Denn all de beoples gried "Hoorah! +Das ist recht brav! und hopsasa!" + +MORAL + +Py dis dings may pe oondershtood +Dat vhat is pad works ofden goot: +Or, Maximilia maximilibus curantur-if you will. + + +WEIN GEIST + +I STOOMPLED oud ov a dafern, + Breauscht mit a gallon of wein, +Und I rooshed along de strassen, + Like a derriple Eberschwein. + +Und like a lordly boar-pig, + I doomplet de soper folk; +Und I trowed a shtone droo a shdreed lamp, + Und bot' of de classes I proke. + +Und a gal vent roonin' bast me, + Like a vild coose on de vings, +Boot I gatch her for all her skreechin', + Und giss her like efery dings. + +Und denn mit an board und a parell, + I blay de horse-viddle a biece, +Dill de neighbours shkreem "deat'!" und "murder!" + Und holler aloudt "bolice!" + +Und vhen der crim night waechter + Says all of dis foon moost shtop, +I oop mit mein oomberella, + Und schlog him ober de kop. + +I leaf him like tead on de bavemend, + Und roosh droo a darklin' lane, +Dill moonlighd und tisdand musik, + Pring me roundt to my soul again. + +Und I sits all oonder de linden, + De hearts-leaf linden dree; +Und I dink of de quick gevanisht lofe + Dat vent like de vind from me. +Und I voonders in mine dipsyhood, + If a damsel or dream vas she! + +Dis life is all a lindens + Mit holes dat show de plue, +Und pedween de finite pranches + Cooms Himmel-light shinin' troo. + +De blaetter are raushlin' o'er me, + Und efery leaf ish a fay, +Und dey vait dill de windsbraut comet, + To pear dem in Fall afay. + +Denn I coomed to a rock py der rifer, + Vhere a stein ish of harpe form, +-Jahrdausand in, oud, it standet'- + Und nopody blays but de shtorm. + +Here, vonce on a dimes, a vitches, + Soom melodies here peginned, +De harpe ward all zu steine, + Die melodie ward zu wind. + +Und so mit dis tox-i-gation, + Vitch hardens de outer Me; +Ueber stein and schwein, de weine + Shdill harps oud a melodie. + +Boot deeper de Ur-lied ringet', + Ober stein und wein und svines, +Dill it endeth vhere all peginnet, + Und alles wird ewig zu eins, +In de dipsy, treamless sloomper + Vhich units de Nichts und Seyns. + +Und im Mondenlicht it moormoors, + Und it burns by waken wein, +In Madchenlieb or Schnapsenrausch + Das Absolut ist dein. + + +SCHNITZERL'S PHILOSOPEDE. + +Die Speer die er thut fuhren + die ist sehr gross und lang, +Das sollt du glauben mire, + gemacht von Vogelsgang. +Sein Ross das ist die Heide, + das sollt du glauben mir, +Darauf er nun thut reiten, + fuhrwahr das sag ich dir. + - Ein schon nerr Lied von dem Mai Und + von dem Herbst. 16th century. + +I. + +PROLOGUE. + +HERR SCHNITZERL make a ph'losopede, + Von of de pullyest kind; +It vent mitout a vheel in front, + And hadn't none pehind. +Von vheel vas in de mittel, dough, + And it vent as sure ash ecks, +For he shtraddled on de axel dree, + Mit der vheel petween his lecks. + +Und vhen he vant to shtart it off + He paddlet mit his feet, +Und soon he cot to go so vast + Dat efery dings he peat. +He run her out on Broader shtreed, + He shkeeted like der vind, +Hei! how he bassed de vancy crabs, + And lef dem all pehind! + +De vellers mit de trottin nags + Pooled oop to see him bass; +De Deutschers all erstaunished saidt: + "Potztausend! Was ist das?" +Boot vaster shtill der Schnitzerl flewed + On - mit a ghastly shmile; +He tidn't tooch de dirt, py shings! + Not vonce in half a mile. + +Oh, vot ish all dis eart'ly pliss? + Oh, vot ish man's soocksess? +Oh, vot ish various kinds of dings? + Und vot ish hobbiness? +Ve find a pank node in de shtreedt, + Next dings der pank ish preak! +Ve folls, and knocks our outsides in, + Vhen ve a ten shtrike make. + +So vas it mit der Schnitzerlein + On his philosopede. +His feet both shlipped outsidevard shoost + Vhen at his exdra shpeed. +He felled oopon der vheel of coorse; + De vheel like blitzen flew! +Und Schnitzerl he vos schnitz in vact, + For it shlished him grod in two. + +Und as for his philosopede, + Id cot so shkared, men say, +It pounded onward till it vent + Ganz tyfelwards afay. +Boot vhere ish now der Schnitzerl's soul? + Vhere dos his shbirit pide? +In Himmel droo de endless plue, + It takes a medeor ride. + + +II. + +HANS BREITMANN AND HIS PHILOSOPEDE. + +Vhen Breitmann hear dat Schnitzerl + Vas quardered into dwo, +Und how his crate philosopede + To 'm tyfel had peen flew, +He dinked und dinked so heafy, + Ash only Deutschers can, +Denn saidt, "Who mighdt peliefet + Dish is de ent of man?" + +"De human souls of beoples + Exisdt in deir idees, +Und dis of Wolfram Schnitzerl + Mighdt drafel many vays. +In his Bestimmung des Menschen + Der Fichte makes pelieve, +Dat ve brogress oon-endtly + In vhat pehindt ve leave. + +"De shparrow falls ground-downvarts + Or drafels to de West; +De shparrows dat coom afder, + Bild shoost de same old nest. +Man had not vings or fedders, + Und in oder dings, 'tis set, +He tont coom up to shparrows, + But on nests he goes ahet. + +"O! vliest dou droo bornin' vorldts, + Und nebuloser foam, +By monsdrous mitnight shiant forms, + Or vhere red tyfels roam; +Or vhere de ghosdts of shky-rockets + Peyond creation flee? +Vhere e'er dou art, O Schnitzerlein, + Crate Saindt! Look down on me! + +"Und deach me how you maket + Dat crate philosopede, +Vhich roon dwice six mals vaster + Ash any Arap shteed. +Und deach me how to 'stonish volk, + Und knock dem oud de shpots. +Coom pack to eart', O Schnitzerlein, + Und pring id down to dots!" + +Shoost ash dish vordt vent outvarts, + Hans dinked he saw a vlash, +Und oonterwards de dable + He doompelt mit a crash. +Und to him, moong de glasses, + Und pottles ash vas proke, +Mit his het in a cigar-box, + A foice from Himmel shpoke: + +"Adsum, Domine Breitmann! + Herr Copitain, here I pe! +So dell me rite honeste, + Quare inquietasti me? +Te video inter spoonibus, + Et largis glassis too, +Cerevisia repletis, + Sicut percussus tonitru!" + +Denn Breitmann ansver Schnitzerl; + "Coarctor nimis, see! +Siquidem Philistiim + Pugnant adversum me. +Ergo vocavi te, + Ash Saul vocavit Sam- +Uel, ut mi ostenderes + Quid teufel faciam?" + +Denn de shpirit (in Lateinisch) + Saidt "Bene, dat's de talk, +Non habes in hoc shanty, + A shingle et some chalk? +Non video inkum nec calamos + (I shpose some bummer shdole 'em), +Levate oculos tuos, son, + Et aspice ad linteolum!" + +Denn Breitmann see de biece of chalk + Vhich riset vrom de vloor, +Und signed a fine philosopede + Alone, oopon de toor. +De von dat Schnitzerl fobricate, + Und oonderneat' he see: +Probate inter equites, + (Try dis in de cavallrie). + +Der Breitmann shtood oop from de vloor, + Und leanet on a post; +Und saidt: "If dis couldt, shouldt hafe peen, + Dar vouldt, mighdt peen a ghosdt; +Boot if id pe noumenon, + Phenomenoned indeed, +Or de soobyectif obyectified, + I'fe cot de philosopede." + +Denn out he seekt a plackschmit, + Ash vork in iron-steel, +To make him a philosopede + Mit shoost an only vheel. +De dings vas maket simple, + Ash all crate idees shouldt pe, +For 'tvas noding boot a gart-vheel, + Mit a dwo-feet axel dree. + +De dimes der Breitmann doomple, + In learnin' for to ride, +Vas ofdener ash de sand-crains + Dat rollen in de tide. +De dimes he cot oopsettet, + In shdeerin' left und righdt, +Vas ofdener ash de cleamin' shdars, + Dat shtud de shky py night. + +Boot de vorstest of de veadures + In dis von-vheel horse, you pet, +Ish dat man couldt go so nicely, + Pefore he get oopset. +Some dimes he co like plazes, + Und doorn her, extra-fine; +Und denn shlop ofer - dis is vot + Hafe kill der Schnitzerlein. + +Soosh droples ash der Breitmann hafe, + To make dis 'vention go, +Vas nefer seen py mordal man, + Oopon dis vorldt pelow. +He doomplet righdt - he doomplet left, + He hafe a dousand doomps; +Dere nefer vas a gricket ball + Ash get soosh 'fernal boomps. + +Boot - ash he'd shvearet he'd poot it droo, + He shvear't it moost pe tone; +Dough he schimpft' und flucht' gar laesterlich, + He visht he't ne'er pegun. +Mit "Hagel! Blitz! Kreuz-sakrament!" + He maket de Houser ring, +Und vish der Schnitzerl vas in hell, + For deachin' him dis ding. + +Nun - goot! At lasht he cot it, + Und peautifool he goed, +"Dis day," saidt he, "I'll 'stonish folk + A ridin' in de road. +Dis day, py shings! I'll do it, + Und knock dings oud of sight:"- +Ach weh! - for Breitmann dat day + Vas not be-markt mit vhite. + +De noombers of de Deutsche volk, + Dat coomed dis sighdt to see, +I dink, in soper earnst-hood, + Mighdt not ge-reckonet pe. +For miles dey shtoodt along de road, + Mein Gott! - boot dey wer'n dry; +Dey trinket den lager-bier shops out, + Pefore der Hans coom py. + +Vhen all at vonce drementous gries + De fery coondry shook, +Und beople's shkreemt, "Da ist er! - Schau! + Here cooms der Breitmann, look!" +Mein Gott! vas efer soosh a sighdt! + Vas efer soosh a gry! +Vhen like a brick-pat in a vighdt, + Der Breitemann roosh py? + +Oh mordal man! Vhy ish idt, dou + Hast passion to go vast? +Vhy ish id dat te tog und horse + Likes shbeed too quick to lasht? +De pugs, de pirds, de pumple-pees, + Und all dat ish, 'tvouldt seem +Ish nefer hobby boot, exsepdt, + Vhen pilin' on de shdeam. + +Der Breitmann flew! Von mighdy gry + Ash he vent scootin' bast; +Von derriple, drementous yell;- + Dat day de virst - und lasht. +Vot ha! Vot ho! Vhy ish it dus? + Vhot makes dem shdare aghasht? +Vhy cooms dat vail of vild deshbair? + Ish somedings cot ge-shmasht? + +Yea, efen so. Yea, ferily, + Shbeak, soul!-it ish dy biz! +Der Breitmann shkeet so vast along + Dey fairly heard him whizz. +Vhen shoost oopon a hill-top point + It caught a pranch ge-bent, +Und like an apple from a shling, + Afay Hans Breitmann vent. + +Vent droo de air an hoondert feet + Allowin' more or lees:- +Denn, pob-pob-pob - a mile or dwo + He rollet along - I guess. +Say - hast dou seen a gannon ball + Half shpent, shtill poundin' on, +Like made of gummi-lasticum?- + So vent der Breitmann. + +Dey bick him oop - dey pring him in, + No wort der Breitmann shboke. +Der doktor look - he shwear erstaunt + Dat nodings ish peen proke. +"He rollt de rocky road entlang, + He pounce o'er shtock und shtone, +You'd dink he'd knocked his outsites in, + Yet nefer preak a pone!" + +All shtill Hans lay, bevilderfied; + He seemt not mind de shaps, +Nor mofed oontil der medicus + Hafe dose him vell mit schnapps. +De schmell voke oop de boetry + Of tays vhen he vas yoong, +Und he murmulte de fragmends + Of an sad romantish song: + +"Ash sommer pring de roses + Und roses pring de dew, +So Deutschland gifes de maidens + Who fetch de bier for you. +Komm Maidelein! rothe Waengelein! + Mit wein-glass in your paw! +Ve'll get troonk among de roses, + Und pe soper on de shtraw! + +"Ash vinter pring de ice-wind + Vitch plow o'er Burg und hill, +Hard times pring in de landlord, + Und de landlord pring the pill. +Boot sing Maidelein - rothe Waengelein! + Mit wein glass in your paw! +Ve'll get troonk among de roses, + Und pe soper on de shtraw!" + +Dey dook der Breitmann homewarts, + Boot efer on de vay +He nefer shpeaket no man, + Und nodings else couldt say, +Boot, "Maidelein - rothe Waengelein! + Mit wein-glass in her paw, +Ve'll get troonk among de roses, + Und pe soper on de shtraw!" + +Dey laid der Hans im bette, + Peneat' de eider doun, +Und sembelet all de doktors + Who doktor in de town,- +Dat ish, de Deutsche Aertzte,- + For Breitmann alvays says, +De Deutschers ish de onlies + Mit originell idees. + +Der vas Doktor Moritz Schlinkenschlag, + Dat vork ash Cafeopath, +Und de learned Cobus Schoepfskopf, + Who use de milchy bath; +Und Korschalitschky aus Boehmen, + Vhat cure mit slibovitz, +Und Wechselbalg, der Preusse, + Who only 'tend to fits. + +Dere vas Strobbich aus Westfalen, + Who mofe all eart'ly ills +Mit concentrirter Schinken juice, + Und Pumpernickel pills. +Und a bier-kur man from Munich, + Und a grape-curist from Rhein, +Und von who shkare tiseases + Mit a dose of Schlesier-wein. + +So dey meet in consooldation, + Mit Doktor Winkeleck, +Who proctice "renovation" + Mit sauer-kraut und speck. +Und dat no man shouldt pe shlightet, + Or dreatet ash a tunce, +Dey 'greed to dry deir systems + Oopon Breitmann - all at vonce. + +Dat ish, mit de exscepdion + Of gifin' Schlesier-wein: +For de remedy vas dangerfull + For von who trink from Rhein. +Ash der Teufel vonce deklaret, + Vhen he taste it on a shpree, +Dat a man, to trink soosh liquor, + Moost a porn Silesian pe. + +So dey all vent los at Breitmann, + Und woonderfool to dell, +He coom to his Gesundheit, + Und pooty soon cot vell. +Some hinted at Natura, + Mit her olt vis sanatrix, +Boot eash doktor shvore he curet him, + Und de rest were taugenix. + +I know not vot der Breitmann + More newly has pegun; +Boot dey say he talks day-dayly + Mit Dana of de Sun. +Dey talk in Deutsch togeder, + Und volk say de end will be, +Philosopedal shanges + In de Union Cavallrie. + +Gott helf de howlin' safage! + Got helf de Indi-an! +Shouldt Breitmann shoin his forces + Mit Sheneral Sheridan! +Und denn, to sing his braises, + I'll write anoder lied: +Hier hat dis dale an ende, + Of Breitmann's Philosopede! + + +DIE SCHONE WITTWE[9] + +(DE POOTY VIDOW.) + +I. + +VOT DE YANKEE CHAP SUNG. + +DAT pooty liddle vidow + Vot ve dosh'nt vish to name, +Ish still leben on dat liddle shtreet, + A doin' shoost de same. +De glerks aroundt de gorners + Somedimes goes round to zee +How die tarlin' liddle vitchy ees, + Und ask 'er how she pe. +Dey lofes her ver' goot liquoer, + Dey lofes her liddle shtore; +Dey lofes her little paby, + But dey lofes die vidow more. +To dalk mit dat shveet vidow, + Ven she hands das lager round, +Vill make der shap dat does id + Pe happy, ve'll be pound. +Dat ish if we can vell pelieve + De glerks vat drinks das beer, +Who goes in dere for noding elshe, + Put simply for to zee her. + + +II. + +HOW DER BREITMANN CUT HIM OUT. + +Oh yes I know die wittwe, + Mit eyes so prite und proun! +She's de allerschoenste wittwe + Vot live in dis here down. +In her plack silk gown - mine grashious!- + All puttoned to de neck- +Und a pooty liddle collar, + Mitout a shpot or shpeck. +Ho! clear de drack you oder fraus- + You can't pegin to shine +Vhen de lofely vidder cooms along- + Dis vidder ash ish mine! +Ho! clear de drack you Yankee chaps, + You Englishers und sooch, +You can't pegin to coot me out, + Mitout you dalks in Dootch. +Ich hab die schoene wittwe + Schon lange nit gesehn, +Ich sah sie gestern Abend + Wohl bei dem Counter Stehn. +Die Wangen rein wie Milch and Blut + Die Augen hell und klar. +Ich hab sie sechsmal auch gekusst- + Potztausend! das ist wahr.[10] + + +BREITMANN IN BATTLE + +"TUNC TAPFRE AUSFUHRERE STREITUM ET RITTRIS DIGNUM POTUERE ERIAGERE +LOBUM." + +"Hiltibraht enti Hadubrant." + +DER FADER UND DER SON.[11] + +I DINKS I'll go a vightin'" - outshpoke der Breitemann. +"It's eighdeen hoonderd fordy-eight since I kits swordt in hand; +Dese fourdeen years mit Hecker all roostin' I haf been, +Boot now I kicks der Teufel oop and goes for sailin' in." + +"If you go land out-ridin'," said Caspar Pickletongue, +"Foost ding you knows you cooms across some repels prave and young. +Away down Sout' in Tixey, dey'll split you like a clam"- +"For dat," spoke out der Breitmann, "I doos not gare one tam! + +"Who der Teufel pe's de repels, und vhere dey kits deir sass? +If dey make a run on Breitmann he'll soon let out de gas; +I'll shplit dem like kartoffels; I'll schlog em on de kop; +I'll set de plackguarts roonin' so, dey don't know vhere to shtop." + +Und de outshpoke der Breitmann, mit his schlaeger py his side: +"Forvarts, my pully landsmen! it's dime to run and ride; +Vill riden, vill vighten - der Copitain I'll pe, +It's sporn und horn und saddle now - all in de Cavallrie!" + +Und ash dey rode droo Vinchesder, so herrlich to be seen, +Dere coomed some repel cavallrie a riden' on de creen; +Mit a sassy repel Dootchman - an colonel in gommand, +Says he, "Vot Teufel makes you here in dis mein Faderland? + +"You're dressed oop like a shentleman mit your + plackguart Yankee crew, +You mudsills and meganics! Der Teufel put you droo! +Old Yank, you ought to shtay at home und dake your liddle horn, +Mit some oldt voomans for a noorse" - der Breitmann + laugh mit shkorn. + +"Und should I trink mein lager beer und roost mine self to home? +I'fe got too many dings like you to mash beneat' my thoom: +In many a fray und fierce foray dis Dootchman will be feared +Pefore he stops dis vightin' trade - 'twas dere he grayed + his peard." + +"I pools dat peard out py de roots - I gifes him such a dwist +Dill all de plood roons out, you tamned old Apolitionist! +You creenpacks mit your swordt und vatch, right ofer + you moost shell, +Und den you goes to Libby stright - und after dat to h-ll!" + +"Mein creenpacks and mein schlaeger, I kits 'em in New York, +To gife dem up to creenhorns, young man, is not de talk;" +De heroes shtopped deir sassin' here und grossed deir sabres dwice, +Und de vay dese Deutschers vent to vork vos von pig ding on ice. + +Der younger fetch de older such a gottallmachty shmack +Der Breitmann dinks he really hears his skool go shplit and crack; +Der repel shoomps dwelfe paces back, und so he safe his life: +Der Breitmann says: "I guess dem shoomps, you + learns dem of your vife." + +"If I should learn of vomans I dinks it vere a shame, +Bei Gott I am a shentleman, aristograt, and game. +My fader vos anoder - I lose him fery young- +Der Teufel take your soul! Coom on! I'll split your + vaggin' tongue!" + +A Yankee drick der Breitmann dried - dat oldt gray-pearded man- +For ash the repel raised his swordt, beneat' dat sword he ran. +All round der shlim yoong repels vaist his arms oldt + Breitmann pound, +Und shlinged him down oopon his pack and laidt him on der ground. + +"Who rubs against olt kittle-pots may keep vhite - if he can, +Say vot you dinks of vightin' now mit dis oldt shentleman? +Your dime is oop; you got to die, und I your breest vill pe; +Peliev'st dou in Moral Ideas? If so, I lets you free."[12] + +"I don't know nix apout ideas - no more dan 'pout Saint Paul, +Since I'fe peen down in Tixey I kits no books at all; +I'm greener ash de clofer-grass; I'm shtupid as a shpoon; +I'm ignoranter ash de nigs - for dey takes de Tribune. + +"Mein fader's name vas Breitmann, I heard mein mutter say, +She read de bapers dat he died after she rooned afay; +Dey say he leaf some broperty - berhaps 'tvas all a sell- +If I could lay mein hands on it I likes it mighty vell." + +"Und vas dy fader Breitmann? Bist du his kit and kin? +Denn know dat ich der Breitmann dein lieber Vater bin?" +Der Breitmann poolled his hand-shoe off und shooked him py de hand; +"Ve'll hafe some trinks on strengt' of dis - or else may + I be tam'd!" + +"Oh! fader, how I shlog your kop," der younger Breitmann said; +"I'd den dimes sooner had it coom right down on mein own headt!" +"Oh, never mind - dat soon dry oop - I shticks him mit a blaster; +If I had shplit you like a fish, dat vere an vorse tisasder." + +Dis fight did last all afternoon - wohl to de fesper tide, +Und droo de streets of Vinchesder, der Breitmann he did ride. +Vot vears der Breitmann on his hat? De ploom of fictory! +Who's dat a ridin' py his side? "Dis here's mein son," says he. + +How stately rode der Breitmann oop! - how lordly he kit down! +How glorious from de great pokal he drink de beer so prown! +But der Younger bick der parrel oop und schwig him all at one. +"Bei Gott! dat settles all his dings - I know dou art mein son!" + +Der one has got a fader; de oder found a child. +Bofe ride oopon one war-path now in pattle fierce und vild. +It makes so glad our hearts to hear dat dey did so succeed- +Und damit hat sein Ende DES JUNGEN BREITMANN'S LIED. + + +BREITMANN IN MARYLAND. + +DER BREITMANN mit his gompany + Rode out in Marylandt. +"Dere's nix to trink in dis countrie; + ine droat's as dry as sand. +It's light canteen und haversack, + It's hoonger mixed mit doorst; +Und if ve had some lager beer + I'd trink oontil I boorst. +Gling, glang, gloria! + Ve'd trink oontil ve boorst.[13] + +Herr Leut'nant, take a dozen men, + Und ride dis land around! +Herr Feldwebel, go foragin' + Dill somedings goot is found. +Gotts-donder! men, go ploonder! + Ve hafn't trinked a bit +Dis fourdeen hours! If I had beer + I'd sauf oontil I shplit! +Gling, glang, gloria! + Ve'd sauf oontil ve shplit!" + +At mitternacht a horse's hoofs + Coom rattlin' droo de camp; +"Rouse dere! - coom rouse der house dere! + Herr Copitain - ve moost tromp! +De scouds have found a repel town, + Mit repel davern near, +A repel keller in de cround, + Mit repel lager beer!! +Gling, glang, gloria! + All fool of lager beer!" + +Gottsdonnerkreuzschockschwerenoth! + How Breitmann broked de bush! +"O let me see dat lager beer! + O let me at him rush! +Und is mein sabre sharp und true, + Und is mein var-horse goot? +To get one quart of lager beer + I'd shpill a sea of ploot. +Gling, glang, gloria! + I'd shpill a sea of ploot. + +"Fuenf hoonderd repels hold de down, + One hoonderd strong are ve; +Who gares a tam for all de odds + Vhen men so dirsty pe." +And in dey smashed and down dey crashed, + Like donder-polts dey fly, +Rash fort as der vild yaeger cooms + Mit blitzen droo de shky. +Gling, glang, gloria! + Like blitzen droo de shky. + +How flewed to rite, how flewed to left + De moundains, drees, und hedge; +How left und rite de yaeger corps + Vent donderin' droo de pridge. +Und splash und splosh dey ford de shtream + Vhere not some pridges pe: +All dripplin' in de moondlight peam + Stracks vent de Cavallrie. +Gling, glang, gloria! + Der Breitmann's cavallrie. + +Und hoory, hoory, on dey rote, + Oonheedin' vet or try; +Und horse und rider shnort and blowed + Und shparklin' bepples fly. +Ropp! Ropp! I shmell de parley-prew! + Dere's somedings goot ish near. +Ropp! Ropp! - I scent de kneiperei; + Ve've got to lager beer! +Gling, glang, gloria! + Ve've got to lager beer! + +Hei! how de carpine pullets klinged + Oopon de helmets hart! +Oh, Breitmann - how dy sabre ringed; + Du alter Knasterbart! +De contrapands dey sing for shoy + To see de rebs go down, +Und hear der Breitmann grimly gry: + Hoorah! - ve've dook de down. +Gling, glang, gloria! + Victoria, victoria! + De Dootch have dook de down. + +Mid shout and crash and sabre flash, + And vild husaren shout +De Dootchmen boorst de keller in, + Und rolled de lager out; +Und in de coorlin' powder shmoke, + Vhile shtill de pullets sung, +Dere shtood der Breitmann, axe in hand, + A knockin' out de boong. + Gling, glang, gloria! + Victoria! Encoria! + De shpicket beats de boong. + +Gotts! vot a shpree der Breitmann had + Vhile yet his hand was red, +A trinkin' lager from his poots + Among de repel tead.[14] +"Tvas dus dey vent at mitternight + Along der moundain side; +'Tvas dus dey help make history! + Dis vas der Breitmann's ride. + Gling, glang, gloria! + Victoria! Victoria! + Cer'visia, encoria! + De treadful mitnight ride +Of Breitmann's vild Freischarlinger, + All famous, broad, und vide. + + +BREITMANN AS A BUMMER + +DER SHENERAL SHERMAN holts oop on his coorse, + He shtops at de gross-road und reins in his horse. +"Dere's a ford on de rifer dis day we moost dake, + Or elshe de grand army in bieces shall preak!" +Vhen shoost ash dis vord from his lips had gone bast, + There coomed a young orterly gallopin' fast, +Who gry mit amazement: "Herr Shen'ral! Goot Lord! + Dat Bummer der Breitmann ish holdin' der ford!" + +Der Shen'ral he ootered no hymn und no psalm, + But opened his lips und he priefly say "D--n! +Dere moost hafe been viskey on dat side der rifer; + To get it dose shaps vould set hell in a shiver; +But now dat dey hold it, ride quick to deir aid: + Ho, Sickles! move promp'ly, send down a prigade! +Dat Dootchman moost vork mighty hard mit his sword + If againsd a whole army he holds to de ford." + +Dey spoored on, dey hoory'd on, gallopin' shtraight, + But for Breitmann help coomed shoost a liddle too late, +For as de Lauwine goes smash mit her pound, + So on to de Bummers de repels coom down: +Heinrich von Schinkenstein's tead in de road, + Dieterich Hinkelbein's flat as a toad; +Und Sepperl - Tyroler - shpoke nefer a vord, + But shoost "Mutter Gottes!" und died in de ford. + +Itsch'l of Innspruck ish drilled droo de hair, + Einer aus Boblingen[15] - he too vash dere- +Karli of Karlisruh's shot near de fence + (His horse vash o'erloadet mit toorkies und hens), +Und dough he like a ravin' mad cannibal fought + Yet der Breitmann - der capt'n - der hero vash caught; +Und de last dings ve saw, he vas tied mit a cord, + For de repels had goppled him oop at de ford. + +Dey shtripped off his goat und skyugled his poots + Dey dressed him mit rags of a repel recruits; +But von gray-haared oldt veller shmiled crimly und bet + Dat Breitmann vouldt be a pad egg for dem yet. +"He has more on his pipe[16] as dem vellers allows, + He has cardts yet in hand und das Spiel ist nicht aus, +Dey'll find dat dey took in der Teufel to board, + De day dey pooled Breitmann vell ofer de ford." + +In de Bowery each beer-haus mit crape vas oopdone, + Vhen dey read in de papers dat Breitmann vas gone; +Und de Dootch all cot troonk oopon lager und wein, + At the great Trauer-fest of de Turner Verein. +Dere vas wein - en mit weinen ven beoplesh did dink + Dat Sherman's great Sharman cood nefer more trink. +Und in Villiam Shtreet veepin' und vailen' vas hoor'd, + Pecause der Hans Breitmann vas lost at de ford. + +SECOND PART. + +In dulce jubilo now ve all sings, + A-vaifin' de panners like efery dings. +De preeze droo de bine-trees ish cooler und salt, + Und der Shen'ral is merry venefer ve halt; +Loosty und merry he schmells at de preeze, + Lustig und heiter he looks droo de drees, +Lustig und heiter ash vell he may pe, + For Sherman, at last has marched down to the sea. + +Dere's a gry from de guart - dere's a clotter und dramp, + Vhen dat fery same orterly rides droo de camp +Who report on de ford. Dere ish droples and awe + In de face of de youf' apout somedings he saw; +Und he shpeak me in Fraentsch, like he always do: "Look! + Sagre pleu! Fentre Tieu! - dere ish Breitmann - his spook! +He ish goming dis vay! Nom de Garce![17] can it pe + Dat de spooks of de tead men coom down to de sea!" + +Und he looks, und ve sees, und ve tremples mit tread, + For risin' all swart on de efenin' red +Vas Johannes - der Breitmann - der war es, bei Gott! + Coom riding' to oos-vard, right shtraight to de shpot! +All mouse-still ve shtood, yet mit oop-shoompin' hearts, + For he look shoost so pig as de shiant of de Hartz; +Und I heard de Sout Deutschers say "Ave Morie! + Braise Gott all goot shpirids py land und by sea!" + +Boot Itzig of Frankfort he lift oop his nose, + Und be-mark dat de shpook hat peen changin' his clothes, +For he seemed like an Generalissimus drest + In a vlamin' new coat und magnificent vest. +Six bistols beschlagen mit silber he vore, + Und a cold mounded swordt like a Kaisar he bore, +Und ve dinks dat de ghosdt - or votever he pe- + Moost hafe proken some panks on his vay to de sea. + +"Id is he!""Und er lebt noch!" he lifes ve all say: + "Der Breitmann - Oldt Breitmann! - Hans Breitmann! Herr Je!" +Und ve roosh to emprace him, und shtill more ve find + Dat vherefer he'd peen, he'd left noding pehine. +In bofe of his poots dere vas porte-moneys crammed, + Mit creen-packs stoof full all his haversack jammed, +In his bockets cold dollars vere shinglin' deir doons + Mit dwo doozen votches und four dozen shpoons, +Und dwo silber tea-pods for makin' his dea, + Der ghosdt hafe pring mit him, en route to de sea. + +Mit goot sweed-botatoes, und doorkies, und rice, + Ve makes him a sooper of efery dings nice. +Und de bummers hoont roundt apout, alle wie ein, + Dill dey findt a plantaschion mit parrels of wein. +Den t'vas "Here's to you, Breitmann! Alt Schwed"[18] - bist zuruck? + Vot teufels you makes since dis fourteen nights veek?" +Und ve holds von shtupendous and derriple shpree + For shoy dat der Breitmann has got to de sea. + +But in fain tid we ashk vhere der Breitmann hat peen, + Vot he tid; vot he pass droo - or vot he might seen? +Vhere he kits his vine horse, or who gafe him dem woons, + Und how Brovidence plessed him mit tea-pods und shpoons? +For to all of dem queeries he only reblies, + "If you dells me no quesdions, I ashks you no lies!" +So 'twas glear dat some derriple mysh'dry moost pe + Vhere he kits all dat ploonder he prings to de sea. + +Dere ish bapers in Richmond dells derriple lies + How Sherman's grand armee hafe raise deir sooplies: +For ve readt in brindt dat der Sheneral Grant + Say de bummers hafe only shoost take vat dey vant. +But 'tis vhispered dat vhile a refolfer'll go round + Der BREITMANN vill nefer a peggin' be found; +Or shtarvin' ash brisner - by doonder! - not he, + Vhile der Teufel could help him to ged to de sea. + + +BREITMANN'S GOING TO CHURCH. + +"Vides igitur, Collega carissime, visitationem canonicam esse rem +haud ita periculosam, sed valde amoenam, si modo vinum, groggio et +cibi praesto sunt." + - Novissimae Epistolae Obscurorum Virorum, Berolini F. + Berggold, 1869. Epistola xxiii., p. 63. + +D'VAS near de state of Nashfille, + In de town of Tennessee, +Der Breitmann vonce vas quarderd + Mit all his cavallrie. +Der Sheneral kept him glose in gamp, + He vouldn't let dem go; +Dey couldn't shdeal de first plack hen, + Or make de red cock crow. + +Und virst der Breitmann vildly shmiled, + Und denn he madly shvore; +"Crate h--l, mit shpoons und shinsherbread, + Can dis pe makin war? +Verdammt pe all der discipline! + Verdammt der Sheneral! +Vere I vonce on de road, his will, + Vere wurst mir und egal. [19] + +"Oh vhere ish all de plazin roofs + Dat claddened vonce mine eyes? +Und vhere de crand plantaschions + Vhere ve gaddered many a brize? +Und vhere de plasted shpies ve hung + A howlin loud mit fear? +Und vhere de rascal push-whackers + Ve shashed like vritened deer? + +"De roofs are shtandin fast and firm + Mit repels blottin oonder; +De crand blantaschions lie round loose + For Morgan's men to ploonder! +De shpies go valkin out und in, + Ash sassy ash can pe; +Und in de voods de push-whackers + Are makin foon of me! + +"Oh vere I on my schimmel grey + Mein sabre in mein hand, +Dey should drack me py de ruins + Of de houses troo de land. +Dey should drack me py de puzzards + High sailen ofer head, +A vollowin der Breitmann's trail + To claw de repel dead." + +Outspoke der bold Von Stossenheim, + Who had theories of Gott: +"O Breitmann, dis ish shoodgement on + De vays dat you hafe trot. +You only lifes to joy yourself, + Yet you, yourself moost say, +Dat self-defelopment requires + De religios Idee." + +Dey sat dem down and argued id, + Like Deutschers vree from fear, +Dill dey schmoke ten pounds of knaster, + Und drinked drei fass of bier. +Der Breitmann go py Schopenhauer, + Boot Veit he had him denn; +For he dook him on de angles + Of de moral oxygen. + +Der Breitmann 'low, dat 'pentence, + Ish known in efery glime, +Und dat to grin und bear it + Vas healty und soopline. +"For mine Sout German Catolicks, + Id vas pe goot, I know; +Likevise dem Nordland Luterans, + If vonce to shoorsh dey go. + +"Boot how vas id mit oders + Who dinks philosophie? +I don't begreif de matter," + Said Stossenheim: "Denn see. +De more dat shoorsh disgoostet you, + Und make despise und bain, +De crater merid ish to go, + Und de crater ish your gain. + +"I know a liddle shoorsh mineself, + Oopon de Bole Jack road: +(De rebs vonce shot dree Federals dere, + Ash into shoorsh dey goed.) +Dere you might make a bilcrimage, + Und do id in a tay: +Gott only knows vot dings you mighdt + Bick oop, oopon de vay." + +Denn oop dere shpoke a contrapand, + Vas at de tent id's toor- +"Dere's twenty bar'ls of whiskey, hid, + In dat tabernacle, shore. +A rebel he done gone and put + It in de cellar, true, +No libin man dat secret knows, + 'Cept only me an' you." + +Der Stossenheim, he grossed himself, + Und knelt peside de fence, +Und gried: "O Coptain Breitmannn, see, + Die finger Providence." +Der Breitmann droed his hat afay, + Says he, "Pe't hit or miss, +I'fe heard of miragles pefore, + Boot none so hunk ash dis." + +"Wohlauf mine pully cafaliers, + Ve'll ride to shoorsh to-day, +Each man ash hasn't cot a horse + Moost shteal von, rite afay. +Dere's a raw, green corps from Michigan, + Mit horses on de loose, +You men ash vants some hoof-irons, + Look out and crip deir shoes." + +All brooshed und fixed, de cavallrie, + Rode out py moonen shine, +De cotton fields in shimmerin light, + Lay white as elfenbein. +Dey heard a shot close py Lavergne, + Und men who rode afay, +In de road a-velterin his his ploot, + A Federal picket lay. + +Und all dat he hafe dimes to say, + "Vhile shtandin at my post, +De guerillas got first shot at me," + Und so gafe oop de ghost. +Denn a contrapand, who helt his head, + Said: "Sah - dose grillers all +Is only half a mile from hy'ar, + A dancin at a ball." + +Der Breitmann shpoke and brummed it out + Ash if his heart tid schvell: +"I'll gife dem music at dat pall + Vill tantz dem into hell." +Hei! - arrow-fast - a teufel's ride! + De plack man led de vay, +Dey reach de house - dey see de lights- + Dey heard de fiddle blay. + +Dey nefer vaited for a word + Boot galloped from de gloom, +Und, bang! - a hoonderd carpine shots + Dey fired indo de room. +Oop vent de groans of vounded men, + De fittlin died away: +Boot some of dem vere tead pefore + De music ceased to blay. + +Denn crack und smack coom scotterin shots + Troo vindow und troo door, +Boot bang and clang de Germans gife + Anoder volley more. +"Dere - let 'em shlide. Right file to shoorsh!" + Aloudt de orders ran. +"I kess I paid dem for dat shot," + Shpeak grim der Breitemann. + +All rosen red de mornin fair + Shone gaily o'er de hill, +A violet plue de shky crew teep + In rifer, pond, und rill; +All cloudy grey de limeshtone rocks + Coom oop troo dimmerin wood; +All shnowy vite in mornin light + De shoorsh pefore dem shtood. + +"Now loudet vell de organ, oop, + To drill mit solemn fear; +Und ring also dat Lumpenglock + To pring de beoples here. +Und if it prings guerillas down, + Ve'll gife dem, py de Lord, +De low-mass of de sabre, and + De high-mass of de cord.[20] + +"Du, Eberle aus Freiburg, + Du bist ein Musikant, +Top-sawyer on de counterpoint + Und buster in discant, +To dee de soul of musik + All innerly ish known, +Du canst mit might fullenden + De art of orgel-ton. + +"Derefore, a Miserere + Vill dou, be-ghostet, spiel, +Und vake be-raised, yearnin, + Also a holy feel:- +Pe referent, men - rememper + Dis ish a Gotteshaus- +Du Conrad - go along de aisles + Und schenk de whiskey aus!: + +Dey blay crate dings from Mozart, + Beethoven, und Mehul +Mit chorals of Sebastian Bach + Soopline und peaudiful. +Der Breitmann feel like holy saints, + De tears roon down his fuss; +Und he sopped out, "got verdammich - dis + Ist wahres Kunstgenuss!"[21] + +Der Eberle blayed oop so high, + He maket de rafters ring; +Der Eberle blayed lower, und + Ve heardt der Breitmann sing +Like a dronin wind in piney woods + Like a nightly moanin sea: +Ash de dinked on Sonntags long agone + Vhen a poy in Germany. + +Und louder und mit louder tone + High oop de orgel blowed, +Und plentifuller efer yet + Around de whiskey goed. +Dey singed ash if mit singin, dey + Might indo Himmel win:- +I dink in all dis land soosh shprees + Ash yet hafe nefer peen. + +Vhen in de Abendsonnenschein, + Mit doost-clouds troo de door, +All plack ash night in golden lighdt + Der shtood ein schwartzer Mohr, +Dat contrapand so wild und weh, + Mit eye-palls glaring roun, +Who cried "For Gott's sake, hoory oop! + De reps ish gomin down!" + +Und while he yet was shpeakin, + A far-off soundt pegan, +Down rollin from de moundain + Of many a ridersmann. +Und vhile de waves of musik + Vere rollin o'er deir heads, +Dey heard a foice a schkreemin, + "Pile out of thar, you Feds! + +"For we uns ar' a comin + For to guv to you uns fits, +And knock you into brimstun + And blast you all to bits"- +Boot ere it done ids shpeakin, + Der vas order in de band, +Ash Breitmann, mit an awfool stim + Out-dondered his gommand. + +Und ash fisch-hawk at a mackarel + Doth make a splurgin flung, +Und ash eagles dab de fish-hawks + Ash if de gods vere young, +So from all de doors and vindows, + Like shpiders down deir webs +De Dootch went at deir horses, + Und de horses at de rebs. + +Crate shplendors of de treadful + Vere in dat pattle rush, +Crate vights mit swords und carpine, + Py efery fence and bush. +Ash panters vight mit crislies + In famished morder fits- +For de rebs vere mad ash boison, + Und de Dootch vere droonk ash blitz. + +Yet vild ash vas de pattle, + So quickly vas it o'er, +O, vhy moost I forefer + Pestain mine page mit gore? +Py liddle und py liddle + Dey drawed demselfs afay, +Oft toornin' round to vighten + Like boofaloes at bay. + +De scatterin shots grew fewer, + De scatterin gries more shlow, +Und furder troo de forest + Ve heard dem vainter grow. +Ve gife von shout - "Victoria!" + Und denn der Breitmann said, +Ash he wiped his ploody sabre: + "Now, poys, count oop your dead!" + +Oh small had been our shoutin + For shoy, if ve had known +Dat der Stossenheim im oaken wald, + Lay dyin all alone. +Vhile his oldt vhite horse mit droopin het + Look dumbly on him doun, +Ash if he dinked, "Vy lyest dou here + Vhile fightin's goin on?" + +Und dreams coom o'er de soldier + Slow dyin on de eart; +Of a schloss afar in Baden, + Of his mutter, und nople birt! +Of poverty and sorrow, + Vhich drofe him like de wind, +Und he sighed, "Ach weh for de lofed ones, + Who wait so far pehind!" + +"Wohl auf, my soul o'er de moundains! + Wohl auf - well ofer de sea! +Dere's a frau dat sits in de Odenwald + Und shpins, und dinks of me. +Dere's a shild ash blays in de greenin grass, + Und sings a liddle hymn, +Und learns to shpeak a fader's name + Dat she nefer will shpeak to him. + +"But mordal life ends shortly + Und Heafen's life is long:- +Wo bist du Breitmann? - glaub'es-[22] + Gott suffers noding wrong. +Now I die like a Christian soldier, + My head oopon my sword:- +In nomine Domini!"- + Vas Stossenheim his word. + +O, dere vas bitter wailen + Vhen Stossenheim vas found. +Efen from dose dere lyin + Fast dyin on de ground. +Boot time vas short for vaiten, + De shades vere gadderin dim: +Und I nefer shall forget it, + De hour ve puried him. + +De tramp of horse und soldiers + Vas all de funeral knell; +De ring of sporn und carpine + Vas all de sacrin bell. +Mit hoontin knife und sabre + Dey digged de grave a span, +From German eyes blue gleamin + De holy water ran. + +Mit moss-grown shticks und bark-thong + De plessed cross ve made, +Und put it vhere de soldier's head + Towards Germany vas laid. +Dat grave is lost mit dead leafs, + De cross is goned afay: +Boot Gott will find der reiter + Oopon de Youngest Day. + +Und dinkin of de fightin, + Und dinkin of de dead, +Und dinkin of de organ, + To Nashville, Breitmann led +Boot long dat rough oldt Hanserl + Vas earnsthaft, grim und kalt, +Shtill dinkin o'er de heart's friend, + He'd left im gruenen wald.[23] + +De verses of dis boem + In Heidelberg I write; +De night is dark around me, + De shtars apove are bright. +Studenten in den Gassen[24] + Make singen many a song; +Ach Faderland! - wie bist du weit! + Ach Zeit! - wie bist du lang![25] + + +BREITMANN IN KANSAS.[26] + +VONCE oopon a dimes, goot vhile afder der var vas ofer, der Herr +Breitmann vent oud Vest, drafellin' apout like efery dings - +"circuivit terram et perambulavit eam," ash der Teufel said ven +dey ask him: "How vash you und how you has peen?" + + Von efenings he vas drafel mit some ladies und shendlemans, und he +shtaid incognitus. Und dey singed songs, dill py und py one of +de ladies say: "Ish any podies here ash know de crate pallad of Hans +Breitmann's Barty?" Den Hans say: "Ecce Gallus! I am dat +rooster!" Den der Hans dook a trink und a let-bencil und a biece of +baper, und goes indo himself a little dimes und den coomes out again +mit dis boem: + +Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas: + He drafel fast und far; +He rided shoost drei dousand miles + All in von rail-roat car. +He knowed foost rate how far he goed- + He gounted all de vile, +Dere vash shoost one bottle of champagne, + Dat bopped at efery mile. + +Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas; + I dell you vot, my poy, +You bet dey hat a pully dimes + In crossin' Illinoy. +Dey speaked deir speaks to all de folk + A shtandin' in de car; +Den ask dem in to dake a trink, + Und corned em gans und gar. + +Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas; + By shings! dey did it prown. +When he got into Leafenvort, + He found himself in town. +Dey dined him at de Blanter's House, + More goot as man could dink; +Mit efery dings on eart' to eat, + Und dwice as mooch to trink. + +Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas; + He vent it on de loud. +At Ellsvort, in de prairie land, + He foundt a pully crowd. +He looked for bleedin' Kansas, + But dat's "blayed out," dey say; +De vhiskey keg's de only ding + Dat's bleedin' dere to-day. + +Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas, + To see vot he could hear. +He foundt soom Deutschers dat exisdt + Py makin' lager beer. +Says he: "Wie gehts du Alt Gesell?" + But nodings could be heard; +Dey'd growed so fat in Kansas + Dat dey couldn't speak a vord. + +Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas; + Py shings! I dell you vot, +Von day he met a crisly bear + Dat rooshed him down, bei Gott! +Boot der Breitmann took und bind der bear + Und bleased him fery much- +For efery vordt der crisly growled + Vas goot Bavarian Dutch! + +Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas! + By donder dat is so! +He ridet oout upon de blains + To shase de boofalo. +He fired his rifle at de bools, + Und gallop droo de shmoke, +Und shoomp de canyons shoost as if + Der teufel vas a choke! + +It's hey de trail to Santa Fe; + It's ho! agross de plain; +It's lope along de Denver road, + Until ve toorn again. +Und de railroad drafel after us + Apout as quick as ve; +Dis Kansas ish de fastest land + Ash efer I did see. + +Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas; + He have a pully dime; +But 'twas in old Missouri + Dat dey rooshed him up subline. +Dey took him to der Bilot Nob, + Und all der nobs around; +Dey shpreed him und dey tea'd him + Dill dey roon him to de ground. + +Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas, + Und made his carpine pop! +Ven he shooted at a drifer man + To make de wagon shdop. +A noble Tribune shendleman + Shoost dodged dat pullet's bore, +Und de driver shwore dat soosh a crowd + He nefer druv pefore. + +Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas; + Droo all dis earthly land, +A vorkin' out life's mission here + Soobyectifly und grand. +Some beoplesh runs de beautiful, + Some vorks philosophie; +Der Breitmann solfe de infinide + Ash von eternal shpree! + + +HANS BREITMANN'S CHRISTMAS. + +"Haec est illa bona dies + Et vocata laeta quies + Vina sitientibus. + +"Nullus metus, nec labores, + Nulla cura, nec dolores, + Sint in hoc symposio." + [De Generibus Ebriosorum, Francoforti + ad Moenum, A.D. 1585. + +ID vas on Weihnachtsabend - Vot Ghristmas Efe dey call- +Der Breitmann mit his Breitmen tid rent de Musik Hall; +Ash de Breitmen und die vomen who vere in de Liederkranz +Vouldt blend deir souls in harmonie to have a bleasin tantz. + +Dey reefed de Hall 'mid pushes so nople to pe seen, +Aroundt Beethoven's buster dey dey on-did a garlandt creen: +De laties vork like teufels dwo tays to scroob de vloor +Und hanged a crate serenity mit WILLKOMM! oop de toor! + +Und vhile dere vas a Schwein-blatt whose redakteur tid say, +Die Breitmann he vas liederlich: ve ant-worded dis-a way, +Ve maked anoder serenity mid ledders plue und red: +"Our Leader lick de repels! N.G." (enof gesaid.) + +Und anoder serene dransbarency ve make de veller baint, +Boot de vay he potch und vertyfeled id, vas enof to shvear a saint, +For ve vanted LA GERMANIA; - boot der ardist mit a bloonder, +Vent und vlorished LAGER agross id - und denn poot MANIA oonder! + +"Now ve moost pe guest-friendlich," said Breitmann, said he; +"Und shoot te toor vide oben, for beople all to see. +Four elemends indernally unided make a punsch; +Boot id dakes a tausend fellers vhen you gifes dem freie lunsch." + +Und as Ghristmas Efe vas gekommen, de beoplesh weren im Hall; +I shvears you id vas Gott-full - dat shplendit, peglory'd ball; +Ve hat foon wie der Teufel in Frankreich - ve coot oop + like der teufel in France, +Und valk pair-wise in, vhile de musik blayed loudt de Fackel-Tanz. + +Boot vhen de valtz shtrike oopwart ve most went out of fits, +Ash der Breitmann led off on a dwister mit de lofely + Helmine Schmitz. +He valtz yoost like he vas shtandin' shtill mit a + peaudiful solemn shmile, +Und Helmine say he nefer shtop poussiren alla weil. + +"Es toent, es rauschet Saitenklang - I hear de musik call +Den herzenhellen Saal entlang - all droo de gleamin' Hall. +O moecht ich schweben stolz und froh - O mighdt I efer pe +Mit dir durchs ganze Leben so! - mine Lebanlang py dee!" + +Und vaster blay de musik de Wellen und Wogen von Strauss; +Und soom drop indo de tantzen, und soom of dem drop aus; +Und soon like a shtorm in de Meere I veel de reelin' vloor, +So de shpinners shtop mit de shpinsters, for dey couldn't + shpin no more. + +Now weren ve all frolic, und lauter guter ding, +Und dirsty ash a broosh-pinder - vhen ve hear some glasses ring; +Foors mild und sonft in de distants - like de song of + a nightingall, +Denn a ringin' und rottlin und clotterin' - ash de Gluck + of Edenhall? + +Hei! how ve roosh on de liquor! - hei: how de kellners coom: +Hei! how ve busted de bier-kegs und poonished de Punsch a la Rhum. +Like lonely wafes at mitternight oopon some shiant shore- +Like an awful shtorm in de Waelder - vas de dirsty Deutschers' roar! + +I pyed some carts for a dime abiece - I pyed shoost fifdy-dwo, +Dey vere goot for bier, or schnapps, or wein - by + doonder how dey flew! +I ring de deck on de vaiters for liquor hot und cool, +Und efery dime I blays a cart, py shings, I rake de pool![27] + +Und ash ve trinked so comforble, like boogs in any roog, +De trompets blowed tan da ra dei, und dere come in a Maskenzug, +A peaudiful brocession, soul-raisin' and sooplime, +De marmorbilds of de heroes of de early Sharman dime. + +Dere vent der gros Arminius, mit his frau Thusnelda, doo, +De vellers ash lam de Romans dill dey roon mit noses plue; +Denn vollowed Quinctilius Varus who carry a Roman yoke, +Und arm in arm mit Gambrinus coom der Allemane Chroc. + +Der Alte Friedrich Rothbart, und Kaiser Karl der crate, +Mit Roland und Uliverus vent shveepin' on in shtate; +Und Conradin, whose sad-full deat' shtill makes our heartsen pleed, +Und all ov dem oldt vellers aus dem Nibelungen Lied. + +Und as dey mofed on, der Breitmann maked a tyfeled shplendid witz +In anti-word to dis quesdion from de lofely Mina Schmitz: +"Vhy ish id dey always makes in shtone dem vellers so andiquadet?" +"Vhy - dey set in de laps of Ages dill dey got lapi-dated!" + +Und shoost as de last of dis hisdory hat fanished droo de door, +Ve heardt a ge-screech, and Pelz Nickel coom howlin' on de vloor; +Denn de laties yell like der teufel, und vly like gulls mit wings, +Und der Pelz Nickel lick em mit svitches, und ve + laugh like eferydings. + +I nefer hafe sooch laughen before dat I vas geborn; +Und Pelz Nickel, vhen 'tvas ober, he plow on a yaeger horn, +Und denounce do all de beople gesembled in de hall: +"Dat a Ghristmas dree vas vaiten', mit bresents for oos all!" + +So ve vollowed him into de zimmer so quick ash dese vords he said, +To kit dem peaudiful bresents, all gratis und on de dead; +Und in facdt a shplendid Weihnachtsbaum mit lighds ve druly vound, +Und liddel kifts dat ge-kostet a benny abiece all round! + +Dere vas Rike Strange die Dessauerinn - a maedchen + shtraigdt und tall, +She cot a bicture of Cubid - boot she tidn't see it ad all, +Dill der Breitmann say, mit his shplendid shtyle dat + all de laties dake: +"Dat pend of de bow ish de Crecian pend dat you so ofden make!" + +Anoder scharmante laity, Maria Top, did cot, +A schwingin' mit a ribbon, a liddle benny pot; +Boot Breitmann hafe id de roughest of any oder mans, +For he kit a yellow gratle mit a liddle vooden Hans. + +Denn next Beethoven's Sinfonie, die orkester tid blay; +Adagio - allegro - andante cantabile. +Ve sat in shtill commotion so dat a bin mighdt drops, +Und de deers roon town der Breitmann's sheeks, + mitwhiles he was trinkin' schnapps. + +Next dings ve had de Weinnachtstraum ge-sung by de Liederkranz, +Denn I trinked dwelf schoppens of glee-wine to sed + me oop for a tantz; +Dis dimes I tanz wie der Teufel - we shriek de volk on de vloor; +Und boost right indo de sooper room - vor ve tanzt a + hole droo de door! + +Denn 'twas rowdy tow und hop-sassa, ve hollered, + Mann und Weib; +"Rip Sam und sed her oop acain! - ve're all of de Shackdaw tribe!" +Vhen Pelz Nickel plow his tromp vonce more, und + peg oos to shtop our din, +Und droo de oben door dere coomed nine den-pins marchin' in. + +Nine vellers tressed like den-pins - dey goed to de end' der hall. +Und dwo Hans Wurst, shack-puddin' glowns - dey + rolled at em mit a ball. +De balls vas paintet peaudiful; dey was vifdeen feet aroundt; +Und de rule ov de came: "whoefer cot hidt, moost + doomple on de croundt." + +Sometimes dey hit de den-pins - sometimes de oder volk- +Und pooty soon de gompany vas all laid out in shoke; +Boot I dells you vot, it maked oos laugh dill we by-nearly shplits, +Vhen der Breitmann he roll ofer, und drip oop de Mina Schmitz. + +Dis lets itself in Sharman pe foost-rade word-blayed on, +Und 'mongst oos be-gifted vellers you pet dat id vas tone! +How der Breitmann mighdt drafel ash bride-man on + de roadt dat ish breit und krumm:[28] +Here de drumpets soundt, and pair-wise ve goed for de sooper-room. + +Ve goed for ge-roasted Welsh-hens, ve goed for ge-spickter hare, +Ve goed for kartoffel salade mit butter brod,-kaviar: +Ve roosh at de lordtly sauer-kraut und de wurst which lofely shine, +Und oh, mein Gott im Kimmel! how we goed for de Mosel-wein! + +Und troonker more, und troonker yet, und troonker shtill cot ve, +In rosy lighdt shtill drivin on agross a fairy sea; +Denn madder, vilder, frantic-er, I proked a salat dish! +Und shoost like roarin' elefants ve tantzed aroundt de tish. + +I'fe shvimmed in heafenly droonks pefore - boot nefer von like dis; +De morgen-het-ache only seemt a bortion of de pliss. +De vhile in trilling peauty roundt like heafenly vind-harps rang +A goosh of goldnen melodie - de Rheinweinbechers' Klang. + +De meltin' minnesingers' song - a droonk of honey'd rhyme- +De b'wildrin-dipsy Bardic shants of Teutoburgic dime; +Back to de runic dim Valhall und Balder's foamin' mead:- +Here ents in heller glorie schein des Breitmann's Weihnachtslied! + + +BREITMANN ABOUT TOWN + +DER SCHWACKENHAMMER coom to down, + Pefore de Fall vas past, +Und by der Breitmann drawed he in + Ash dreimals honored gast. +"Led's see de sighdts! In self und worldt,- + Dere's 'sighdts' for him, to see, +Who Selbstanschauungsvermogen hat," + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Dey vented to de Opera Haus, + Und dere dey vound em blayin', +Of Offenbach (der open brook), + His show spiel Belle Helene. +"Dere's Offenbach, - Sebastian Bach,- + Mit Kaulbach, - dat makes dree: +I alvays like sooch brooks ash dese;" + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Dey vented to de Bibliothek, + Vhich Mishder Astor bilt: +Some pooks vere only en broschure, + Und some vere pound und gilt. +"Dat makes de gold - dat makes de sinn, + Mit pooks, ash men, ve see, +De pest tressed vellers guilt de most:"- + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Dey vent to see an edidor, + Who'd shanged his flag und doon, +Und crowed oopon der oder side, + Dat very afdernoon. +"De anciends vorshipped wettercocks, + To wetter fanes pent de knee; +Pow down, mein Schwackenhammer, pow!" + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Dey vented by a panker's hause, + Und Schwackenhammer shvore, +He only vant a pig red shield + Hoong oop pefore de toor; +One side of red, one side of gold, + Like de knighds in hisdorie- +"De schildern of dat schild is rich," + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Dey vent oonto a bicture sale. + Of frames wort' many a cent, +De broperty of a shendleman, + Who oonto Europe vent. +"Don't gry - he'll soon pe pack again + Mit anoder gallerie: +He sells dem oud dwelf dimes a year," + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Dey vented to dis berson's house, + To see his furnidure, +Sold oud at aucdion rite afay, + Beremdory und sure. +"He geeps six houses all at vonce, + Each veek a sale dere pe, +Gotts! vot a dime his vife moost hafe!"- + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Dey vent to vind a goot cigar, + Long dimes dey roamed apout, +Von veller had a pran new sort, + De fery latest out +"Mein freund - I dinks you errs yourself + De shmell ish oldt to me; +Dat Infamias Stinkadores brand,"- + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Dey vented to de virst hotel, + De prandy make dem creep, +A trop of id's enough to make + A brazen monkey veep. +"Dey say a viner house ash dis, + Vill soon ge-bildet pe, +Crate Gott! - vot can dey mean to trink?" + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Dey vented droo de Irish shtreeds, + Dey saw vrom haus to haus, +Und gountet oop, 'pout more or less, + Vive hoondred awful rows. +"If all dese liddle vights dey waste, + Could von crate pattle pe, +Gotts! how de Fenian funds vouldt rise!" + Said Breitmann, said he. + +Dey vent to see de Ridualisds, + Who vorship Gott mit vlowers, +In hobes he'll lofe dem pack again, + In winter among de showers. +"Vhen de Pacific railroat's done, + Dis dings imbrofed vill pe, +De joss-sticks vill pe santal vood,"- + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Dey vent to hear a breecher of + De last sensadion shtyle, +'Twas 'nough to make der teufel weep + To see his "awful shmile." +"Vot bities dat der Fechter ne'er + Vas in Theologie, +Dey'd make him pishop in his shoorsh," + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Dey vent indo a shpordin' crib, + De rowdies cloostered dick, +Dey ashk him dell dem vot o'glock, + Und dat infernal quick. +Der Breitmann draw'd his 'volver oud, + Ash gool ash gool couldt pe, +"Id's shoost a goin' to shdrike six," + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Dey vent polid'gal meedins next + Dey hear dem rant and rail, +Der bresident vas a forger, + Shoost bardoned oud of jail. +He does it oud of cratitood, + To dem who set him vree: +"Id's Harmonie of Inderesds," + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Dey vent to a clairfoyand witch, + A plack-eyed handsome maid, +She wahrsagt all deir vortunes - denn + "Fife dollars, gents!" she said. +"Dese vitches are nod of dis eart', + Und yed are on id, I see, +Der Shakesbeare knew de preed right vell," + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Dey vented to a restaurand, + Der vaiter coot a dash; +He garfed a shicken in a vink, + Und serfed id at a vlash. +"Dat shap knows vell shoost how to coot + Und roon mit poulderie, +He vas copitain oonder Turchin vonce," + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Dey vented to de Voman's Righds, + Vhere laties all agrees, +De gals should all pe voters, + Und deir beaux all de votees. +"For efery man dat nefer vorks, + Von frau should vranchised pe: +Dat ish de vay I solfe dis ding," + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Dey vented oop, dey vented down, + 'Tvas like a roarin' rifer, +De sighds vere here - de sighds vere dere- + Und de vorldt vent on forefer. +"De more ve trinks, de more ve sees, + Dis vorldt a derwisch pe; +Das Werden's all von whirling droonk," + Said Breitemann, said he. + + +BREITMANN IN POLITICS. + +I. + +I.-THE NOMINATION + +VHEN ash de var vas ober, und Beace her shnow-wice vings +Vas vafin' o'er de coondry (in shpodts) like efery dings +Und heroes vere revardtet, de beople all pegan +To say 'tvas shame dat nodings vas done for Breitemann. + +No man wised how id vas shtartet, or vhere de fore shlog came, +Boot dey shveared it vas a cinder, dereto a purnin' shame: +"Dere is Schnitzerl in de Gustom-House -- potzblitz! + can dis dings be! +Und Breitemann he hafe nodings: vot sighds is dis to see! + +"Nod de virst ret cendt for Breitmann! ish dis do pe de gry +On de man dat sacked de repels und trinked dem high und dry? +By meine Seel' I shvears id, und vhat's more I deglares id's drue, +He vonce gleaned oudt a down in half an our, und + shtripped id strumpf und shoe. + +"Vhen dey ploondered de down of Huntsville, I dells + you vot, py tam! +He burned oop four biano-fords and a harp to roast a ham; +Vhen he found de rouge und email de Paris, which de + laties hafe hid in a shpot, +He whited his horse all ofer - und denn pinked his ears, bei Gott! + +"Vhen he found dat a blace was ploonder-fool, he + alvays tell dem, sure: +'Men, sack und pack! I shoots mine eyes for only shoost an uhr.' +Boot if de blace vas fery rich, he vouldt say mit a solemn mien: +'Men - I only shleep for von half uhr more - ve moost + hafe tiscipline.' + +"He vas shoost like Koenig Etzel, of whom de shdory dell, +Der Hun who go for de Romans und gife dem shinin hell: +Only dis dat dey say no grass vouldt crow vhere + Etzel's horse had trot. +Und I really peliefe vhere Breitmann go, de hops + shpring oop, bei Gott!" + +If once you tie a dog loose, dere ish more soon geds aroundt, +Und vhen dis vas shtartedt on Breitmann id was + rings aroom be-foundt; +Dough vhy he moost hafe somedings vas nod by no means glear, +Nor tid id, like Paulus' confersion, on de snap to all abbear! + +Und, in facdt, Balthazar Bumchen saidt he couldtent + nicht blainly see +Vhy a feller for gaddrin' riches shood dus revartedt pe: +Der Breitmann own drei Houser, mit a weinhandle in a stohr, +Dazu ein Lager-Wirthschaft, und sonst was - somedings more. + +Dis plasted plackguard none-sense ve couldn't no means shtand +From a narrow-mineted shvine's kopf, of our nople captain grand: +Soosh low, goarse, betty bornirtheit a shentleman deplores; +So ve called him verfluchter Hundsfott, und shmysed + him out of toors. + +So ve all dissolfed dat Breitmann shouldt hafe a nomination +To go to de Legisladoor, to make some dings off de nation; +Mit de helb of a Connedigut man, in whom ve hafe great hobes, +Who hat shange his boledics fivdeen dimes, und + derefore knew de robes. + +2. - THE COMMITTEE OF INSTRUCTION. + +Denn for our Insdructions Comedy de ding vas protocollirt, +By Docktor Emsig Grubler, who in Jena vonce studiret; +Und for Breitmann his insdrugtions de comedy tid say +Dat de All out-going from de Ones vash die first Moral Idee. + +Und de segondt crate Moral Idee dat into him ve rings, +Vas dat government for every man moost alfays do efery dings; +Und die next Idee do vitch his mindt esbecially ve gall, +Is to do mitout a Bresident und no government ad all. + +Und die fourt' Idee ve vish der Hans vouldt alfays keeb in fiew, +Ish to cooldifate die Peaudifool, likevise de Goot und Drue; +Und de form of dis oopright-hood in proctise to present, +He must get our liddle pills all bassed, mitout id's + gostin' a cent.[29] + +Und die fift' Idee - ash learnin' ish de cratest ding on eart', +Und ash Shoopider der Vater to Minerfa gife gebirt'- +Ve peg dat Breitmann oonto oos all pooplic tocuments +Vhich he can grap or shteal vill sendt - franked - mit + his gompliments. + +Die sechste crate Moral Idee - since id fery vell ish known +Dat mind is de resooldt of food, ash der Moleschott has shown, +Und ash mind ish de highest form of Gott, as in Fichte dot' abbear- +He moost alfays go mit de barty dat go for lagerbier. + +Now ash all dese insdrugdions vere showed to Mishder Twine, +De Yangee boledician, he say dey vere fery fine: +Dey vere pesser ash goot, und almosdt nice - a tarnal tall concern; +Boot dey hafe some liddle trawbacks, und in fagdt + weren't worth a dern. + +Boot yet, mit our bermission, if de shentlemans allow- +Here all der Sharmans in de room dake off deir hats und pow- +He vouldt gife our honored gandidate some nodions of his own, +Hafing managed some elegdions mit sookcess, as vell vas known. + +Let him plow id all his own vay, he'd pet as sure as born, +Dat our mann vouldt not coom oud of der liddle endt der horn, +Mit his goot proad Sharman shoulders - dis maket + oos laugh, py shink! +So de comedy shtart for Breitmann's - Nota bene - after a trink! + +3. - MR. TWINE EXPLAINS BEING "SOUND UPON THE GOOSE." + +Dere in his crate corved oaken shtuhl der Breitemann sot he: +He lookt shoost like de shiant in de Kinder hishdorie: +Und pefore him, on de tische, was - vhere man alfays foundt it- +Dwelf inches of good lager, mit a Boemisch glass around it. + +De foorst vordt dat der Breitmann spoke he maked no sbeech or sign! +De nexd remark vas "Zapfet aus!" - de dird vas, "Schenket ein!" +Vhen in commed liddle Gottlieb und Trina mit a shtock +Of allerbest Markgraefler wein - dazu dwelf glaeser Bock. + +Denn Mishder Twine deglare dat he vas happy to denounce +Dat as Coptain Breitmann suited oos egsockdly do an ounce, +He vas ged de nomination, and need nod more eckshblain: +Der Breitmann dink in silence, and denn roar aloudt, CHAMPAGNE! + +Denn Mishder Twine, while drinkin' wein, mitwhiles + vent on do say, +Dat long instruckdions in dis age vere nod de dime of tay; +Und de only ding der Breitmann need to pe of any use +Vas shoost to dell to efery man he's soundt oopon der coose. + +Und ash dis liddle frase berhops vas nod do oos bekannt, +He dakes de liberdy do make dat ve shall oonder-shtand, +And vouldt dell a liddle shdory vitch dook blace pefore de wars: +Here der Breitmann nod to Trina, und she bass aroundt cigars. + +"Id ish a longe dime, now here, in Bennsylfanien's Shtate, +All in der down of Horrisburg dere rosed a vierce depate, +'Tween vamilies mit cooses, und dose vhere none vere foundt- +If cooses might, by common law, go squanderin' aroundt? + +"Dose who vere nod pe-gifted mit cooses, und vere poor, +All shvear de law forbid dis crime, py shings und cerdain sure; +But de coose-holders teklare a coose greadt liberdy tid need, +And to pen dem oop vas gruel, und a mosdt oon-Christian teed. + +"Und denn anoder barty idself tid soon refeal, +Of arisdograts who kepd no coose, pecause 'twas nod shendeel: +Tey tid not vish de splodderin' keese shouldt on deir + pafemends bass, +So dey shoined de anti-coosers, or de oonder lower glass!" + +Here Breitmann led his shdeam out: "Dis shdory goes to show +Dat in poledicks, ash lager, virtus in medio. +De drecks ish ad de pottom - de skoom floads high inteed; +Boot das bier ish in de mittle, says an goot old Sharman lied.[30] + +"Und shoost apout elegdion-dimes de scoom und drecks, ve see, +Have a pully Wahl-verwandtschaft, or election-sympathie." +"Dis is very vine," says Mishder Twine, "Vot here you indrotuce: +Mit your bermission I'll grack on mit my shdory of de coose. + +"A gandertate for sheriff de coose-beholders run +Who shvear de coose de noblest dings vot valk peneat' de sun; +For de cooses safe de Capidol in Rome long dimes ago, +Und Horrisburg need safin' mighty pad, ash all do know.[31] + +"Acainsd dis mighdy Coose-man anoder veller rose, +Who keepedt himself ungommon shtill vhen oders came to plows; +Und if any ask how 'twas he shtoodt, his friendts + wouldt vink so loose, +Und vhisper ash dey dapped deir nose: 'He's soundt oopon de coose! + +"'He's O.K. oopon de soobject:[32] shoost pet your pile on dat: +On dis bartik'ler quesdion he indends to coot it fat.' +So de veller cot elegded pefore de beople foundt +On vhitch site of der coose it vas he shtick so awful soundt. + +"Und efer in America, hencevorwart from dat day, +Ash mit de Native Mericans, de fashion vas to say- +Likes well in de Kansas droples - de shap who tid not refuse +To go mit beoples ash vanted him, vas soundt oopon der coose. + +"Dis shdory's all I hafe to dell," says Mishder Hiram Twine; +"Und I advise Herr Breitmann shoost to vight id on dis line." +De volk who of dese boledics would oder shapders read, +Moost waiten for de segondt pardt of dis here Breitmann's Lied. + +II. + +4.-HOW BREITMANN AND SMITH WERE REPORTED TO BE LOG-ROLLING + +ID hoppinet in de yar of crace, vhen all dese dings pegan, +Dat Mishder Schmit, de shap who rooned acainsd der Breitmann, +Vas a man who look like Mishder Twine so moosh dat beoples say +Dey pliefe dey moost ge-brudert pe - Gott weiss in vot a vay! + +Und id vas also moosh be-marked - vhitch look shoost like a bruder- +Dat vhen Twine vas vork on any side der Schmit vas on der oder +A fery gommon dodge ish mit de arisdocracie; +So dat votefer cardt doorns op, id's game for de familie! + +Nun, goot! Howefer dis might pe, 'tvas cerdain on dis hit +Der Twine vas do his tyfelest to euchre Mishder Schmit; +Und Schmit, I criefe to say, exglaimed: "Gaul darn me for a fool, +But I'll smash old Dutch to cholera fits and rake the + eternal pool!" + +So dey cot some liddle ledders, ash brifate ash could pe, +Vhitch Breitmann writed long agone to friendts in Germany; +Und dey brinted dem in efery vay to make de beoples laugh, +Und comment on dem in de shtyle dat "sports" call "slasher-gaff." + +Dere-to - as vash known py shoodshment und glearly ascertained, +Dat Breitmann hafe lossed money py a valse und schwindlin' friendt- +So dey roon it droo de newsbapers, und shbeech to make pegan, +Dat Breitmann shtole de gelt himself und rop de oder man.[33] + +Boot de ding dat jam de hardest on de men dat bull de vires, +Und showed that Copitain Breitmann shtood pedween dwo heafy vires, +Vas, pecause he vas a soldier - von could see id at a clanse- +Dey had pud him in a tisdrigt vhere he hadn't half a shanse. + +For ash de pold solidaten ish more prafe ash oder mans, +Dey moost lead de hope verloren und pattle in de vans; +Und ash defeat ish honoraple to men in honor shtrict, +Dey honor dem py puttin' em vhere dey're cerdain to be licked. + +Boot dis dimes it shlopped over. 'Tvas de dird or secondt heat, +Dat a soldier in dis tisdrigt had been poot oop und beat; +So de Plue Goats dink it over und go quietly to vork: +De bow vhen too moosh aufgespannt vlies packward mit a yerk. + +Now Mishder Twine deglaret dat de ding seemed doubtenful, +Boot mitout delay he dook de horns so poldly py de bull, +Und shpread de shdory eferyvhere, dill folk to pliefe pecan, +Dat Mishder Schmit had sold de vight unto der Breitemann! + +He fix de liddle tedails - how moosh der Schmit hafe got +For sellin' out his barty to let Breitmann haul de pot; +Und he showed a brifate letter from Breitemann to Schmit, +Vhere he bromise him for Congress if he shoost let oop a bit. + +Der Twine vas writet dis ledder; for der Copitain Breitemann +Vould nefer hafe shtood soosh hoompoogks since virst + his life pegan: +He hat tone some rough dings in de war, in de + ploonder-und-morder line, +Boot vas hoockleperry-persimmoned mit dese boledics of Twine. + +Howefer, dis ledder vorket foorst-rate - mit de + Mericans pest of all, +For dey mostly dinked it de naturalest ding as efer couldt pefall; +For to sheat von's own gonstituents ish de pest mofe in de came, +Und dey nefer sooposed a Dootchman hafe de sense to do de same. + +------------------ + +5.-HOW THEY HELD THE MASS MEETING. + +Dere's nodings in dis vorldt so pad, ash all oov us may learn, +Boot may shange from dark to lighthood, if loock + should dake a doorn; +So it hoppinet mit Breitmann, who in spite of sin and Schmit, +Gontrifed ad shoost dis yooncture do make a glucky hit. + +Dey hat sendet out some plackarts to de Deutsche burgers all +(N.B. - Dish ish not mean blackguards, boot de pills + dey shtick on de vall), +To say dat a Massenversammlung - or a meeding of all dem asses- +Vouldt be held in de Arbeiter-Halle, to consisd of de + Sharman classes. + +Now dey gife de brinting of de pills to a new gekommene man, +Who dinked dat Demokratisch vas de same ash Repooblican: +Got im Himmel weiss vhere he'd hid himself on dis + free Coloompian shore +Dat he scaped de naturalizationisds, und hand't found out pefore. + +Boot to dis Deutsche brinter, de only tifference he +Petween Repooplicanish and Demokratisch tid see, +Vas dat von vash dwo ledders longer; so he dook + shoost vot seem pat +To make de poster handsome - likewise a liddle fat. + +How ofden in dis buzzlin' life shmall grubs grows oop to vings! +How often shoost from moostard seet a virst-glass + pusiness shprings! +Van't klein komt men tot't groote, ash de Hollanders hafe said: +Mit dese dwo ledders Breitmann caved in der Schmitsy's head. + +---------------- + +6.-BREITMANN'S GREAT SPEECH. + +Dis tale dat Schmit hafe sell de vight cot so mooch put apout, +Dat many of his beoples vere in fery tupious toubt; +'Pove all, dose who were on de make, and easy change deir lodge, +Und, pein awfool smart demselfs, pelieve in efery dodge. + +Vhen de meeding vas gesempled, und dey found no Schmit vas dere, +Dey looket at von anoder mit a ganz erstaunished air; +But dey saw it glear as taylighd, und around a vink dere ran, +Vhen pefore dem rose de shiant form of Copitain Breitemann! + +Denn Breitemann vent los at dem: "He could nichts vell exbress +De rapdure dat besqueezed his hearts - de wonnevol hoppiness- +To meed in friendtlich council and glasp de hand of dose, +Who had peen mit most oonreason and unkindly galled his foes. + +"Berhaps o'er all dis shmilin' eart' - he vould say it + dere un denn- +Soosh shpecdagles couldt nod pe seen of soosh imbardial men, +So tefoid of base sospicion, so apofe all betty dricks, +Ash to gome und lisden vairly to a voe in poledicks; + +"Dat ish to say, a so-galled voe - for he feeled id in his soul +Dat de brinciples vitch mofed dem vere de same oopon de whole; +But he lack a vord to exbress dem in manners opportunes"- +Here a veller in de gallery gry oud, oonkindly, "Shpoons!" + +Und dere der Breitmann goppled him: "If shpoons our modifes pe. +Dere's nod a man pefore oos who lossed a shpoon by me: +Far rader had I gife you all a shpoons to eaten mit, +Und I hope to ged a ladle for mein friendt, der Mishder Schmit." + +Dis fetch das Haus like doonder - it raise der tyfel's dust, +Und for sefen-lefen minudes dey ooplouded on a bust; +Und de chaps dat dinked of hedgin' saw a ring as round as O; +So dey boked each oder in de rips und said, "I dold you so!" + +For dis d'lusion to de ladle vas as glear ash city milk, +Und drawd it on de beoples so vine ash flossen silk, +Dat Hans und Schmit vere rollin' locks, und de locks + vere ready cut; +Only Breitmann hafe de liddle end, und Schmitsy dake de butt! + +Denn Breitmann he crack onward: "If any 'lightened man +Vill seeken in his Bibel, he'll find dat a publican +Is a barty ash sells lager; und de ding is fery blain, +Dat a re-publican ish von who sells id 'gain und 'gain. + +"Now since dat I sells lager, I gant agreen mit +De demprance brinciples I hear dishtriputet to Schmit; +Boot dis I dells you vairly, und no one to teseife- +If I were Schmit, I'd pliefen shoost vot der Schmit peliefe. + +"And to mine Sharman liperal friendts I might mention in dis shpot, +Dat I hear an oonfoundet rumor dat der Schmit peliefe in Gott; +Und also dat he coes to shoorsh - mit a brayer-book - + for salfadion: +I vould not for die welt say dings to hoort his repudation. + +"Und noding is more likely dat it all a shlander pe, +So also de rumor dat vhen young he shtoody divinidy: +I myself, ash a publican, moost pe a sinner py fate, +Und in dis sense I denounce mineself ash Republican-didate! + +"Ash Deutschers say - und Yankees doo - vhen der + wein ish in der man, +So ish oopon de oder part, de wise-hood in de can, +Vhitch brofes dat wein und wise-hood ish all de same, py shinks! +Und de only real can-didate ish der veller ash coes for trinks: + +"Und dat ve may meed in gommon, I deglare here in dis hall- +Und I shvears mineself to holt to it, votefer may pefall- +Dat any man who gifes me his fote - votefer his boledics pe- +Shall alfays pe regartet ash bolidigal friendt py me." + +(Dis voonderfol Condescension pring down drementous applause, +Und dose who catch de nodion gife most derriple hooraws: +Eshbecially some Amerigans ash vas shtandin' near de door, +Und who in all deir leben long nefer heard so moosh sense pefore.) + +"Dese ish de brinciples I holts, and dose in vitch I run: +Dey ish fixed firm und immutaple ash de course of de 'ternal sun: +Boot if you ton't approve of dem - blease nodice vot I say- +I shall only pe too happy to alder dem right afay. + +"Und undo my Demogratic friendts I vould fery glearly shtate- +Since dis useless mit oop-gecleared minds to hold a long depate- +Dat dere's no man in de cidy who sells besser liquor ash I, +Und I shtand de treadts free-gradis vhenefer mine friendts ish try. + +"Ad finem - in de ende - I moost mendion do you all, +Dat a dootzen parrels of lager bier ish a-gomin' to dis hall: +Dere ish none of mine own barty here, bot we'll do + mitout deir helfs; +Und I kess, on de whole, 'twill pe shoost so goot if ve + trink it all ourselfs." + +Soosh drementous up-loudation pefore vas nefer seen, +Ash dey svored dat der Copitain Breitmann vas a + brickpat, und no sardine;[34] +Und dey trinked demselfs besoffen, sayin', "Hobe you + wird sookceed!"- +De nexter theil will pe de ent of dis historisch lied. + +III. + +PARDT DE VIRST. + +THE AUTHOR ASSERTS THE VAST INTELLECTUAL +SUPERIORITY OF GERMANS TO AMERICANS. + +DERE'S a liddle fact in hishdory vitch few hafe oondershtand, +Deutschers are, de jure, de owners of dis land, +Und I brides mineslf oonshpeak-barly dat I foorst make be-known, +De primordial cause dat Columbus vas derivet from Cologne. + +For ash his name vas Colon, it fisiply does shine, +Dat his Eldern are geboren been in Cologne on der Rhein, +Und Colonia peing a colony, it sehr bemerkbar ist, +Dat Columbus in America was der firster colonist. + +Und ash Columbus ish a tove, id ish wort' de drople to mark, +Dat an bidgeon foorst tiscofer land a-vlyin' from de ark; +Und shtill wider - in de peginnin', mitout de leastest toubt, +A tofe vas vly ofer de wassers und pring de vorldt herout. + +Ash mein goot oldt teacher der Kreutzer to me tid ofden shbeak, +De mythus of name rebeats itself - vhitch see in his "Symbolik," +So also de name America, if we a liddle look, +Vas coom from der oldt king Emerich in de Deutsche Heldenbuch. + +Und id vas from dat fery Heldenbuch - how voonderful it ron, +Dat I shdole de Song of Hildebrand, or der Vater und der Sohn, +Und dishtripude it to Breitemann for a reason vhitch now ish plain, +Dat dis Sagen Cyclus full-endet, pring me round to der Hans again. + +Dese laws of un-endly un-windoong ish so teep and broad and tall, +Dat nopody boot a Deutscher hafe a het to versteh dem at all, +Und should I write mine dinks all out, I tont peliefe inteed, +Dat I mineslf vould versteh de half of dis here Breitmann's Lied. + +Ash der Hegel say of his system - dat only von mans knew, +Vot der tyfel id meant - und he couldn't tell - und der + Jean Paul Richter, too, +Who saidt: "Gott knows I meant somedings vhen + foorst dis buch I writ, +Boot Gott only wise vot das buch means now - for I + hafe fergotten it!" + +Und all of dis be-wises so blain ash de face on your nose, +Dat der Deutscher hafe efen more intellects dan he himself soopose, +Und his tifference mit de over-again vorldt, as I really + do soospect, +Ish dat oder volk hafe more soopose - und lesser intellect. + +Yet oop-righty I confess it - mitout ashkin' vhy or vhence, +Dere ish also dimes vhen Amerigans hafe shown sharp-pointet sense, +Und a fery outsigned exemple of genius in dis line, +Vas dishblayed in dis elegdion py Mishder Hiram Twine. + +------------------- + +PARDT DE SECONDT. + +SHOWING HOW MR. HIRAM TWINE "PLAYED OFF" ON SMITH.[35] + +Vide licet. Dere vas a fillage whose vote alone vouldt pe +Apout enof to elegdt a man und give a mayority, +So de von who couldt "scoop" dis seddlement vouldt + make a lucky hit, +But dough dey vere Deutschers, von und all, dey all + go von on Schmit. + +Now id hoppinet to gome to bass, dat in dis little town, +De Deutsch vas all exshpegdin' dat Mishder Schmit coom down, +His brinciples to foresetzen und his idees to deach- +(Id est, fix oop de brifate pargains) - und telifer a + pooplic shbeech. + +Now Twine vas a gyrotwistive cuss ash blainly ish peen shown, +Und vas always an out-findin' votefer might pe known, +Und mit some of his circumswindles he fix de matter so, +Dat he'd pe himself at dis meeding, und see how dings vas go. + +Oh shdrangely in dis leben de dings kits vorked apout, +Oh voonderly Fortuna makes doorn us inside out. +Oh sinkular de loock-vheel rolls - dis liddle meeding dere, +Fixt Twine ad perpendiculum: - shoosh suit him to a hair. + +Now it hopponet on dis efenin', de Deutschers von und all, +Vere erwaitin' mit oonpatience de onfang of de Ball, +Und de shates of nighdt vere fallin' und de shdars pegin to plink, +Und dey vish dat Schmit vouldt hoory, for 'twas dime + to dake a trink. + +Dey hear some hoofs a dramplin' - und dey saw und + dinked dey know'd, +De bretty greature coomin' on his horse entlang de road, +Und ash he ride town invard de likeness vas so blain, +Dey donnered out "Hoora for Schmit!" enof to make it rain. + +Der Twine vas shdart like plazes - boot oop shdardet too his vit, +Und he dinks, "Great turnips! - vhot if I couldt bass + for Colonel Schmit! +Gaul darn my heels I'll do it - and go the total swine, +Oh soap balls! - what a chance!" said dis dissembulatin' Twine. + +Denn'twas "Willkomm! willkomm! Mishder Schmit!" + rings aroom on efery site, +Und "First-rate - how dy do, yourself?" der Hiram Twine replied, +Dey ashk him "Coom und dake a trink" - boot dey + find id mighdy gueer, +Vhen Twine informed em none boot hogs vould + trink dat shtinkin' bier. + +Dat lager vas nodings boot boison, und as for Sharman wein, +He dinks it vas erfounden exbressly for Sharman schwein, +Dat he himself was a demperanceler, dat he gloria in de name, +Und adfised dem all for tecence's sake to go und do de same. + +Dese bemarks, among de Deutschers, vere apout as vell receife, +Ash cats in a game of den-pins - ash you may of coorse peliefe, +De heats of de recebtion vent down a dootzen degrees, +Und in blace of hurraws was only heardt de roostlin' of de drees. + +Und so in solemn stille dey scorched him to de hall, +Vhere he maket de crate oradion vhitch vas so moosh + to blease dem all, +Und dis vay he pegin it: "Pefore I furder go, +I vish dat my obinions, you puddin-het Dutch, shouldt know. + +"Und eher I norate furder, I dink it only fair, +Ve shouldt oonderstand each oder, prezackly, chunk and square; +Dere are points on vitch ve tisagree, und I will plank de facts- +I tont go round slanganderin' my friendts pehind deir packs. + +"So I beg you dake it easy, if on de raw I touch, +Vhen I say I can't apide de sound of your groonting + shishing Dootch, +Should I in de Legisladure as your slumgullion stand, +I'll have a bill forbidding Dutch, droo all dis 'versal land. + +"Should a husband talk it to his frau, to deat' he should pe led, +If a mutter breat' it to her shild, I'd bunch her in de head; +Und I'm sure dat none vill atvocate id's use in pooplic schools, +Oonless dey're peastly, nashdy, prutal, saur-kraut eadin' fools." + +Here Mishder Twine, to gadder breat', shoost make a liddle pause, +Und see sechs hundert gapin' eyes - sechs hundert shdaring' chaws! +Dey shtanden erstarrt like frozen - von faindly dried to hiss:- +Und von saidt: "Ish id shleeps I'm treamin' - + Gottstausend! - vhot ish dis? + +Twine keptet von eye on de vindow, - boot boldly vent ahet, +"Of your oder shtinkin' hobits no vordt needt here pe set; +Shdop goozlin' bier - shdop shmokin' bipes - shdop rootin' + in de mire, +Und shoost un-Dutchify yourselfs! - dat's all dat I require." + +Und denn dere coomed a shindy ash if de shky hat trop: +"Trow him mit ecks, py doonder! - go - shlog him on de kop! +Hei! shoot him mit a powie-knifes! - go for him, ganz and gar! +Shoost tar him mit some fedders! - led's fedder him mit tar!" + +Sooch a teufel's row of furie vas nefer oopkicket pefore,- +Some roosh to on-climb de blatform, - some hoory + to festen de toor,- +Von veller vired his refolfer - boot de pullet missed her mark, +She coot de cort of de shandelier - it vell - und de hall vas tark! + +Oh vell vas it for Hiram Twine dat nimply he couldt shoomp! +Und vell dat he light on a mist-hauf und nefer feel de boomp! +Und vell for him dat his coot cray horse shtood sottelet + shoost outside! +Und vell dat in an augenblick he vas off on a teufel's ride! + +Bang! bang! de sharp pistolen shots vent pipin' py his ear, +Boot he tortled oop de barrick road like any moundain deer, +Dey trowed der Hiram Twine mit shteins - boot dey + only could be-mark +Von climpse of his vhite ober-coat - und a clotterin' + droo de dark. + +So dey gesempeled togeder, ein ander to sprechen mit, +Und allow dat soosh a Rede dey nefer exshpegt from Schmit! +Dat he vas a foorst-glass plackguard, und so pig a lump ash ran, +So - nemine contradicente - dey vented for Breitemann. + +Und 'twas annerthalb yar dere after before de Schmit vas know, +Vhat maket dis rural fillage go pack oopon him so, +Und he schwored at de Dutch more schlimmer ash + Hiram Twine had done,- +Note bene: he tid it in earnest, while der Hiram's vas + pusiness-fun. + +Boot vhen Breitmann heardt de shtory how de fillage + hat been dricked, +He schwore bei Leib und Leben, dat he'd rader hafe peen licked, +Dan be helpet droo sooch slumgoozlin', - und 'twas + petter to pe a schwein, +Dan a schvindlin', honeyfooglin' shnake, like dat lyin' + Yankee Twine. + +Und pegot so heavy disgootet mit de boledics of dis land, +Dat his friendts could barely keep him from trowin' oop his hand, +Vhen he held shtraight-flush mit an ace in his poot- + vitch phrase ish all de same, +In de science of pokerology, ash if he got de game. + +So Breitmann cot elegdet, py vollowin' de vay, +Ve manage our elegdions oonto dis fery day. +Dis shows de Deutch Dummehrlichkeit - also de Yankee "wit:"- +Das ist das abenteuer how Breitmann lick der Schmit. + + +BREITMANN AS AN UHLAN. + +"Bjo foeri ek ther, +Brynthings apaldr! +Magni blandinn +Ok magentiri, +Fullr er hann ljoda." + -Sigrdrifurnal + +"Beer I bear to thee, +Battle's great apple-tree! +Mingled with might +And with bright glory, +All full of song." + -The Edda. + +----- + +I. + +THE VISION. + + "Dere vas vonce oopon a dimes a Frantchman who asket if a Sharman +could hafe esprit. Allowin for his pad shbellin, de reater will +find dat der Herr Breitmann was hafe a spree goot many dimes. You +gant ged rount de Dootch." - FRITZ SWACKENHAMMER. + +GOTTS blitz! blau Feuer, potz bomben Tod! +Vot shimmers in de mitnacht roth? +Like hell-shtrom boorst o'er heafen's plain, +Trowin dead light on eart acain:- +Ja! - wide im nord om Odin shtone +Lies a shiant form im glare alone. +Troonk py de eis-kalt roarin shdream +Der Hans ish hafe ein wunder tream. + +Troonk om haunted Odinstein +Im Hexenlicht und Elfenschein +Vhere blooty Druids omens trew +From grin und screech of shaps dey slew; +Or vhere der Norseman long of yore +Vas carven eagles on de shore, +As o'er him yell de Valkyr broot +Und crows valk round knee teep im ploot, +Vhile rabens schkreem o'er ruddy bay; +Dere - ten pottles troonk - Hans Breitmann lay. + +Fast und rof der war-man shnore +Like de hammer-shlog of Thor, +Schnell ash Mjollner's bang und beat +Heaved de form from het to veet +Vhile apofe him in de shkies +Dere he saw a glorie rise, +Und im mittle von it all +De iron lords of crate Valhall. + +Long he gaze mit wolfen glare +At de Aesir in de air, +Long mit schneerin baren grin +He toorn his nase auf und hin +(For ne'er a Sherman - tam de otts- +Vas efer yet gife in to Gotts), +Dill avery Aes owned oop dat he +A gott-like man of brass moost pe. + +Shtern der Breitmann raise his het, +To his fader Gotts he set: +"Let your worts of wisehood shlip; +Rush your runes, und let 'em rip! +For you de gotts hafe efer pe +Of dose who vere ash gotts to me:- +Alt Thor der Thoren here pelow- +Vot hell you vants,[36] I'd like to know?" + +Antworded ash de donner clangs, +Der fader of de iron bangs: +"De gotts will let de hell-dogs go, +Und raise damnation here pelow; +Until de sassy Frenchmen schmell +De rifers ten dat roon troo hell +To telle dis I comme dence, +Dou lord of lion impudence. + +"Drafeller! I know dee vell! +Breitmann improturbable! +Vhen on eart I hat my shy, +Breitmann of dat age vas I. +I schwear py Thor! so crate und gay, +I smashed de Jotuns in my tay, +Und dou shall pe ge-writ sooplime +Ash de crate Thor of deiner time. + +"Now ve lets de eagles vly +Skreemin troo de vlamin shky, +Our own specials: - dare nod laugh; +For in de London Telegraph, +A voondrous poy vot make oos shdare, +For hop vhat may, he's alvays dere! +Vill dell de worlt, troo blut and flame, +Hans Breitmann ist der Uhlan's name. + +"Und all dou e'er on eart has done, +From oop gang oontil settin sun, +Vill pe ash nix - I schvear py Thor! +To vat dou'lt do in dieser war; +Plazin roofs und mordered men, +Hell set loose on eart again; +Rush und ride in shtorm und floot, +Cannon roarin, pools of bloot; +Deutschland mad in fool career, +Led py dy Uhlanen speer, +Hell's harfest - sheafs of fictorie, +Reaped mit deat's sword und reapt by dee! + +"Ja! On many a dorf und disch, +Dou shalt pring a requisish;[37] +Dwendy dimes de Frantscher men +Hafe sporned dy land in blut acain- +All dose dwenty dimes in von, +Py Deutschland shall to France pe done, +Und dwenty dimes in blut and wein +Shalst dou refenge de Palatine. + +"Go! - mit shpeer und fiery muth! +Go! - mit durst for bier und blut! +Go! - mit lofe for Vaterland, +Into burning fury fanned: +Towns und hen-roosts shall hafe shown +Vhere der Uhlan ist peen gone, +Und cocks vill roon und men crow tame +To hear of der Uhlanen name." + +Der fision fadet in de shky, +Und hours vent on und time goed py. +Vot heardest dou, Napolium? +De rumpitty, rumpitty, rumpitty poom! +Ven you hear de sound of de droom, +Oh denn you know dat de Dootch hafe coom, +De treadful roarin Dootch, mit de droom +Und de roompitty, pumpitty, poompity pum! +De wild ferocious Dootch on a bum, +Mit cannon roar und pattle hum, +Mit fee und faw on de foe und fum! +Led py de awful Breitemum! + Bitty boom!! BOOM!! + +II. + +BREITMANN IN A BALLOON. + +WHO vas efer hear soosh voonders, + Holy breest or virshin nonn? +As pefelled de Coptain Breitmann, + Vhen he hoont an air-ballon. +Der Bizzy[38] und der Dizzy,[39] + Mit lothairingen und Lothair, +Vas nodings to dis Deutscher, + Who vent kitin troo de air. + +Id was in yar Nofember, + In eighdeen sefendee, +Der Breitmann vent a prowlin, + By monden light vent he. +In fillages deserted + He hear de Uhu moan; +For you alvays hear der Uhu[40] + Vhere der Uhu-lan ish gone. + +Alone allonsed[41] der Uhlan, + Boot nodings could he find +Safe whitey clouds a drivin + In moonshine fore de wind. +Boot ash he see dese cloudins + He bemark dat von vas round, +Und inshtead of goin oopwarts + It kep risin towards de ground. + +"Oh, vot ish dis a gomin? + Some planet, py de Lord! +Too boor to life in heafen, + Coom down on eart to poard; +Und pelow it schwing tree engels- + Two he-vons mit a wench. +Boot, mein Gott! vot sort of engels + Can dose pe, dalkin Fraentsch! + +"I hafe read in Eckhartshausen + Dat oop in heafen - py tam! +De engels dalk in Sherman, + Und sing Mardin Luther's psalm. +O nein - es sind kein engeln + Vot sail so smoofly on, +Das sind verfluchte Franzosen + In einem luft-ballon!"[42] + +Hei! how der Breitman streak it + Ven vonce he kess de trut'! +He spurred id like de wild fire + Of hope in early yout'. +Troo de weingarts like der teufel + Vhen he shase a lawyer's soul; +Down der moundain mit his lanze + Und his wafin banderol. + +Down de moundain, o'er de valley, + Troo de village he ish gone; +Dog-barks die out pehind him, + Oders bark ash he come on. +Liddle heedet he deir bellin, + Liddle mind der Hahnen crow; +Liddle hear der Bauern yellin, + Clotter, clodder, on he go. + +"Oh, vot ish hoontin foxen, + Und vot ish yager pliss, +Und vot ish shasin bison + On de blains, to soosh ash dis? +I hafe dinked dat roonin rebels + Vas de best of eartly fun; +Boot id isn't half so sholly + Ash to go a luft-ballon." + +Und ash id shdill vent onwart, + Shdill onwarts mit der wind, +Der coom a real madness + To catch id, o'er his mind. +Und had'st dou seen him vylin, + Dat wild onfuriate brick, +Dou'st hafe schworn dat Coptain Breitmann + Was pecome balloonatic. + +In fain dey trow deir sand-bags, + In fain all dings let fall, +De ballon shdill kep a sinkin, + Und id vouldn't rise at all. +Yet de wild wind trife id onwarts, + Onwarts shdill der Breitmann go, +Dill he cotch id py a rope-ent + Vot vas hangin town pelow. + +Boot vhen it risen oopwarts, + Ash he cling to id, of corse, +Mit de lefter hand he holtet + To de pridle of his horse. +Der horse valk on his hind-legs: + Too schwer to rise vas he; +Mein Gott! vot fix for Breitmann + Of de Uhlan cavallrie! + +So he go for seferal stunden + Petween himmel und eart pelow, +Boot der teufel und die engels + Couldn't make der Hans let go. +Dill all at vonce an idee + Coom from his loocky shtar- +He led co his horse's pridle + Und glimb oop indo de car. + +Und vot you dinks he foundet + Vhen in dat air-ballon? +A nople Englisch vicomte, + Milord de Robinson; +Und mit him vas a laity, + Mit whom he'd rooned afay, +Whom he indroduce to Breitmann + Ash die Jungfer Salome. + +Und der dritte was a barson, + Whom Milord, mit prudent view, +Hat took als secretaire, + Likevise for pallast doo. +Dey should hafe bitched him ofer + Vhen de gas was out, dey say; +Boot de dame vould not 'low it:- + She'd an arriere pensee. + +Sait Milord: "Afar we've wandered, + We are completely brown; +And I'll give a thousand shiners + If you'll take me to a town +Where no one will molest us + Till we find our way to Lon--" +Here der Breitmann ent de sentence + Ash he gry out, shortly, "done." + +"And as for this fair lady + To whom I would be bound," +Sait Milord, "we'll have a wedding + Before we reach the ground. +To escape her father's anger + We fled to live in peace, +But she's relatives in London, + And they have - the police." + +O vas not dis a voonders + To make de Captain shdare?- +A tausend pounds in bocket + Und a veddin in de air? +He gafe avay de laity, + Und als sie wieder kam +Zur festen Erde wieder, + Ward sie Robinson Madame.[43] + +"O go mit me," said Breitmann, + "O go in mein Quartier! +Don't mind dem gommon soldiers, + For I'm an officier." +He guide dem troo de coontry + Till dey reach de ocean strand; +Now dey sit und pless Hans Breitmann, + In de far-off English land. + +Dis ish Breitmann's last adfenture + How troo Himmel air flew he: +Und it's dime, oh nople reader! + For a dime to part from dee. +Dou may'st dake it all in earnest + Or pelieve id's only fon; +Boot dere's woonder dings has hoppent + Fery oft in Luft-ballon. +III. + +BREITMANN AND BOUILLI. + +"Tres estime ami, - Ick seyn nock nit verdorb, +Vielleickt Sie denck wohl kar, das ick sey tod gestorb, +Ock ne Kott loben Danck, ick leb nock kanss wohl auf. +. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Naturlich wie Kespenst die off die Kasse keh." + - Deutsch-Franzos, Leipzig, 1736. + +Vot roombles down de Bergstrass? + Vot a grash ish in de air! +Mit a desberate gonfusion, + Und a gry of wild tespair, +Das sind gethrasht Franzosen,[44] + Und dose who after flee +Are de terror of Champagner, + Die Uhlan cavallrie. + +So liddle say die hoonted, + De hoonters lesser shdill; +Der Frank is ride for's leben, + Der Deutscher rides to kill. +Ofer dickly-doosty faces + Deir eyes like wild-katzs glare; +De blut und iron ridin + Of furie und despair. + +Boot of all de wild Uhlanen, + Der Breitmann ride de pest; +For he mark de Frantsch gommanter + Ish most elegandtly tresst. +Und ash he coom down on him, + Dere's a deat' look in his eye: +"Gotts! if I carfe dat toorkey, + How I'll make de stoofin vly!" + +Mit a clotter und a flotter + Like a hell-sturm dey are on: +Mit a rottle to de pattle + Coom de Deutschers, knockin' down, +Down de moundain to a brucke- + Vhy die Frantschmen toorn ad bay? +Oder Deutsch were dere pefore dem, + Und die pridge ish coot avay! + +Von second der Franzose + Look down mit blitzen eye; +Von second at de brucke, + Den toorn him round to die. +Vhile mit out-ge-poke-te lanze, + Like ter teufel shot from hell, +Rode der ploonder-shtarvin Breitmann + On der grau-bart Colonel. + +Vot for der Coptain Breitmann + Ish shdop in his career? +Vot for he pool his pridle? + Vot for let down his speer? +Vot for his eyes like saucers + Grow pigger, rimmed mit staub? +Vot for his hair, a pristlin, + Lift oop his pickel-haub?[45] + +So awfool - so oneart'ly, + So treadful was his glare, +So unbeschreiblich gastly, + Dat der Colonel self was shkare. +Oop come der Breitmann ridin, + Und mit gratin force he said: +"Bist - du - wirkelich - lebendig?[46] + Can de grafe gife oop its tead? + +"Dou livest yet - dou breaf'st yet, + Dough oldter now you pe +Since I mordered you in Strasburg, + Mein freund - mon Jean Bouilli. +We lofed de selfe maiden + Wohl forty years agone:- +She died to hear I kilt you:- + Jean - how weiss your beard ish grown! + +"I would gife my Hab' und Guter,[47] + Dereto mein bit of life +Couldt I pring dat shild to leben, + Und make her, Jean, dy wife!" +Here der Breitmann boorst out gryin, + Like a liddle prook vept he; +Und dey hugged and gissed einander, + Der Breitmann und Bouilli. + +"Ach, de efils dat from efil + Troo a life ish efer grow! +Had I nefer dink I killed you, + Many a man were livin now- +Many a man dat shleeps in cane-brakes, + Many a man py pillow-shore; +For dy morder mate me reckelos, + Und von tead man gries for more! + +"O Madchen! schon im Himmel![48] + (Warst schon on eart' difine)- +Can'st dink among de Engeln + Of soosh as me und mine? +Den look on soosh a Reue, + Ash eart' has nefer known:- +Whereto hast dou a sabre? + Wherefore not kill me, Jean?" + +"O, ne pleurez pas, mon Breitmann! + Je trouve cela trop fort," +Gry der Colonel sehr politely; + "How! - you crois dat I was mort! +Mon Dieu! 'Tis but one minute, + As we galloped to this plain, +I thought your spear, mon gaillard, + Would kill me o'er again. + +Je vous fais mon compliment, + Your tendresse becomes you well; +Et ne pleurez pas, mon brave, + Pour la petite demoiselle. +I have had a thousand since; + One can always find such game; +Et pour dire la verite, + I have quite forgot her name." + +Der Breitmann lok so earnest, + Long and earnest at his foe, +Ash if seein troo his augen + To de forty years ago. +Mit vot a shmile der Breitmann + Toorned roundt und rode away: +Dat was all his parting greetin + To der Colonel Francais. +IV. + +BREITMANN TAKES THE TOWN OF NANCY. + +O HEAR a wondrous shdory +Vot soundet like romance, +How Breitmann mit four Uhlans +Vas dake de town of Nantz. +De Frantschmen call it Nancy,[49] +Und dey say its fery hard +Dat Nancy mit her soldiers +Vas getook py gorpral's guard. + +Dey dink id vas King Wilhelm +Ash Hans ride in de down, +Und like Odin in his glorie +Gazed derriply aroun'. +Denn mit awfool condesenchen +He at de Frantschmen shtare, +Und say, "Ye wretsched shildren? +Abbortez mir vodre mere!" + +Hans mean de city Syndic, +Whom maire de Frantschmen call; +So mit a tousand soldiers +Dey 'scort him to de Hall; +In de shair of shtade dey sot him, +Der maire coom to pe heard, +Und Hans glare at him fife minutes +Pefore he shbeak a word. + +Den in iron dones he ootered: +"Ich temand que rentez fous: +Shai dreisig mille soldaten +Bas loin l'ici, barploo! +Aber tonnez-moi Champagner; +Shai an soif exdrortinaire- +Apout one douzaine cart-loads; +Und dann je fous laisse faire."[50] + +Denn he say to Schwackenhammer, +His segretaire - "Read +A liddle exdra liste +Of dings de army need, +Und dell dem in Franzosisch +Dey moost shell de neetfool down +In less dan dwendy minudes, +Or, py Gott, I'll purn de town." + +"Item - one tousand vatches +Of purest gold so fair; +Dazu funf tousand silbern, +For de gommon soldiers' wear; +Und tree dousand diamant ringe +Dey moost make tirectly come, +We need dem for our schweethearts +Ven we write to em at home! + +"Von million cigarren +Ve'll accept ash extra boons +For not squeezin dem seferely, +Dazu dwelf tousand shboons." +Here der maire fell down in schwoonin, +Denn all dat he could say +Vas ,"O mon dieu, de dieu, dieu! +Nous voila ruinees!"[51] + +No wort der Breitmann ootered, +He only make a sgratch, +Calm and silend on de daple, +Mit a liddle friction match. +De maire versteh de motion, +So went him to de task +Of raisin mong de peoples +Vot it vas der Breitmann ask. + +So kam he mit de ringe, +Dey vind dem pooty soon; +So kam he mit de vatches, +Und avery silber spoon. +Boot ash for de champagner, +He wept and loudly call +Dat par dieu! he hadn't any, +For de Deutsch hafe troonk it all. + +Ja! - de gorporal's guart have trinket +Efery pottle in de down, +Vhile dese negotiations +Oop-stairs vere written down. +Boot der Breitmann sooplimely, +Like von who nodings felt, +Said, "Instet of le champagner +Nous brentirons du gelt."[52] + +Ja wohl! Donnes cent mille franken, +C'est mir egal, you know;[53] +Pid dem pring id in a horry, +For 'tis dime for oos to go." +Der maire he pring de money, +Und der Breitmann squeeze his hand,- +"Leb wohl, dou nople brickbat, +Herzbruder in Frankenland! + +"Boot it griefes my soul to larmen, +Und I sympathize mit dein, +To pense of you, mon ami, +Sans le champagner wein. +Dere will oder Deutsch pe gomin, +Und it preak mine heart to dink +De vay dey'll bang and slang you +If dere's no champagne to trink! + +"Cela fous fera misere +Que she ne feux bas see; +So, vollow mes gonseilles, +Et brenez mon afis. +Shai, moi, deux mille boutelles, +De meilleur dat man can ashk,[54] +Vich I will gladly sell- +Sheap as dirt - ten franks a flask." + +De maire look oop to heafen, +Wohl nodings could he say, +Vhile oud indo de mitnight +Der Breitmann rode afay. +Away - atown de falley, +Till noding more abbears +Boot de glitter of de moonlight, +De moonlight on deir spears. + +V. + +BREITMANN IN BIVOUAC. + +HE sits in bivouacke, + By fire, peneat' de drees; +A pottle of champagner + Held shently on his knees; +His lange Uhlan lanze + Stuck py him in de sand; +Vhile a goot peas-poodin' sausage + Adorn his oder hand. + +Und jungere Uhlanen + Sit round mit oben mout' +To hear der Breitmann's shdories + Of fitin in de Sout' +Und he gife dem moral lessons, + How pefore de battle pops: +"Take a liddle brayer to Himmel, + Und a goot long trink of schnapps." + +Denn his leutenant bemarket: + "How voonder shdrange it peen +Dat so very many wild pigs + Ish dis year in de Ardennes. +Ash I sout dere - donner'r'wetter!- + I sah dem coom heraus, +Shoost here und dere an Eber + Mit a hoondert tousand sows. + +"Shoost dink of all dese she-picks + Vot flet to neutral land!" +Said Breitmann: "Fery easy + Ish dis to oonderstand: +Dese schwein-picks mit de sauen + Vot you saw a-roonin rond, +Ish a crate medempsygosis + Of the Frantsche demi-monde. + +"I hafe readet in de Bible + How soosh a coterie +Vas ge-toornet into swine-picks, + Und roon down indo de see; +Boot since de see aint handy, + Or de picks vere all too dumm, +Dey hafe coot across de porder + Und vly to Belgium." + +Now ash dey boorst oud laughin, + Und got more liquor out, +Dey hearden from de sendry + A shot und denn a shout. +Und Breitmann crasp his sabre + Quick ash de bullet hiss, +Und leapin out, demantet, + "Herr'r'r'r Gott! vat row ish dis?" + +Und bold der Schwabian answert: + "Dis minute on de ground +Dere comed a Frantschman greepin, + On all-fours a-prowlin round. +I ask him vat he vanted; + Werda! I gry; boot he +Say nodings to my shallenge, + Und only answer 'Oui.' + +"So I shoot him like der teufels, + Und I rader dink our friend, +Dis sneakin Frank-tiroir, + Ish a-drawin to his end." +So dey hoonted in de pushes, + Und in avery gorner dig, +Boot, mein Gott! how dey vas laughin, + Ven dey found a - mordered pig. + +Next week dey hear from Paris, + Und reat in de Gaulois +Of de most adrocious action + De vorlt vas efer saw. +How de Uhlan cannibalen, + Dis vile und awful prood, +Hafe killt a nople Frantschman, + Und cut him oop for food. + +"Ja - shop him indo sausage, + Und coot him indo ham; +Und schwear dey'll serfe all oders + Exacdly so - py tam! +Sons of France, awake to glory, + Let your anciend valor shine! +Und shweep dis Prussian vermin + Het und dails indo de Rhine!" + +VI. + +BREITMANN'S LAST PARTY. + +For fear of some missed onder standings, I vould shtate, dat dis is +only mean de last Barty dat der Coptain Breitmann has ge given - as +yed. Pimepy I kess he gife anoder von, und if I kits an in- +leading, or indrotuckshun, I kess I'll go. I am von of de vellers +dat vas ad de virst Barty, vhere mine swister-in-law de Madilda +Yane vas tantz mit Herr Breitmann. + +FRITZ SCHWACKENHAMMER, +Olim Studiosus Theologiae, now Uhlan free-lancer, +und Segretarius of Coptain Breitmann. + +VOT gollops at mitnight, + Mit h'roolah and yell, +Like der teufel's wild yager + Boorst loose out of hell? +Vot cleams in the sonrise + Bright vlashin in gold? +Das sind die Uhlancers + Of Breitmann der bold. + +Dey frighten de coontry, + Dey ploonder de town; +And when dey are oop + Die Franzosen co down: +For pefore de wild Norsemen + De Southron must flee; +Ab ira Normannorum + Libera nos Domine![55] + +How dey sweep de chateaux! + How dey grab oop de hens! +Und gobble de toorkeys + Shoot oop in de pens +Like de Angel of Deat' + Dey are ragin abroad: +You may track dem py fedders + Knee-deep in de road. + +O der Breitmann ish on, + Und der Breitmann is on, +Und mit him de Uhlans + Are ploonderin gone. +De demon of fengeance + His wings o'er em vave, +Mit deir fingers like hooks, + Und mit maws like de grafe. + +Dey coom to a castel, + So shplendid, of bricks; +Franzosen defend it, + Das help em gar nichts. +For de Uhlans hafe take it, + Dey smash in de gate, +Und inshpired by Gott's fury, + Dey shdole all de plate. + +From shamber to shamber + Dey fighted deir way, +Till dead in de hall + De Franzosen all lay; +Und dere shtood a madchen, + So lieblich und hold, +Who laugh at de dead + Troo her ringlocks of gold. + +Denn der Breitmann, all plooty, + To'm madel so lind, +Spoke courtly und tender: + "Vy laughst dou, mein kind?" +Denn de plue-eyed young peaudy, + Mit lippe so red, +Said, "Vy not shall I laughen? + Vhen Frenchmen are dead. + +"I coom here from Deutschland, + De shildren to teach; +Dey mock me for Deutsch, + Und dey sneer at mein sbeech; +Und since de war komm, + I vas nearly gone mad, +You wouldn't peliefe + How dey dreet me so pad." + +Mit a tear Breitmann bend + To de peaudifool miss; +"Crate Gott! can'st dou suffer + Soosh horrors ash dis?" +His arm round de maiden + Der hero has bound, +Und it shtaid dere goot vhile, + Fore dey got it unwound. + +"Ho! fetch me de diamonds! + Ho! shell out de rings! +Mit all in de castle + Of dat sort of dings." +Twas brought to de Captain- + A donderin load: +At de veet of de madchen + Dat ploonder he trowed. + +"Ho! pring oos champagner! + Und light oop de hall! +Dis night der Herr Breitmann + Will gife you a ball. +Dat pile of dead vellers, + Vot died for La France, +May see, if dey like, + How de Shermans can tance." + +Dey find laties' garments, + Und - troot to confess- +Likewise som Frantsch maidens, + Who help dem to tress. +De rest of de Uhlans + Who hadn't soosh loves, +Fixed oop in black clothes + Mit white chokers und gloves. + +Now hei! for de fittles! + Und hei! for clavier! +For de tantz of de Uhlans- + De men of de speer! +How de shendlemen ashk + If dey'd blease introduce; +How de ladies mit beards + Were called Espionnes Prusses! + +Hei, ho! how dey tanzet! + Hei, ho! how dey sang! +How mit klingen of glasses + De braun arches rang. +How dey trill from deir hearts + Ash dey pour out der wein, +De songs of de Oberland,- + Songs of der Rhein. + +Und madder und wilder, + All whirlin around, +Vent Hans mit de maiden + In Bacchanal bound. +She helt to his peard, + Und dey gissed as if mad; +I tont dink dat efer + Vas dimes like dey had. + +Boot calm in de hall, + Ever calm on de floor, +Was a row of still guests + Dat wouldn't tantz nefermore. +Mit plood shtreams black winding, + Der lord mit his men, +When der Youngest Day cooms + Hans may meet dem acain. + +Hoorah for der Uhlan, + So rash und so wild! +Hoorah for der Uhlan, + Der teufel's own child!- +Dis ish "Breitmann's Last Barty," + Dey'll sing it for years; +De lords of de lanzes, + De sons of de speers. + +For dey frighten de coontry, + Dey ploonder de town; +Und when dey are oop + De Franzosen go down; +For pefore de wild Norsemen + Weak Southrons moost flee, +Ab ira Normannorum + Libera nos Domine! + + +EUROPE. + +----- + +BREITMANN IN PARIS. +(1869.) + +"Recessit in Franciam." + +"Et affectu pectoris, +Et toto gestu corporis, +Et scholares maxime, +Qui festa colunt optime." + - Carmina Burana, 13th century. + +DER teufel's los in Bal Mabille, + Dere's hell-fire in de air, +De fiddlers can't blay noding else + Boot Orphee aux Enfers: +Vot makes de beoples howl mit shoy? + Da capo - Bravo! - bis!! +It's a Deutscher aus Amerika: + Hans Breitmann in Paris. + +Dere's silber toughts vot might hafe peen, + Dere's golden deeds vot must: +Der Hans ish come to Frankenland + On one eternal bust. +Der same old rowdy Argonaut + Vot hoont de same oldt vleece, +A hafin all de foon dere ish- + Der Breitmann in Paris. + +Mit a gal on eider shoulder + A holdin py his beard, +He tantz de Cancan, sacrament! + Dill all das Volk vas skeered. +Like a roarin hippopatamos, + Mit a kangarunic shoomp, +Dey feared he'd smash de Catacombs, + Each dime der Breitmann bump. + +De pretty liddle cocodettes + Lofe efery dings ish new, +"D'ou vient il donc ce grand M'sieu? + O sacre nom de Dieu!" +In fain dey kicks deir veet on high, + And sky like vlyin geese, +Dey can not kick de hat afay + From Breitmann in Paris. + +O vhere vas id der Breitmann life? + Oopon de Rond Point gay, +Vot shdreet lie shoost pehind his house? + La rue de Rabelais. +Aroundt de corner Harper's shtands + Vhere Yankee drinks dey mill, +Vhile shdraight ahet, agross de shdreet, + Der lies de Bal Mabille. + +Id's all along de Elysees, + Id's oop de Boulevarce, +He's sampled all de weinshops, + Und he's vinked at efery garce. +Dou schveet plack-silken Gabrielle, + O let me learn from dee, +If 'tis in lofe - or absinthe drunks, + Dat dis wild ghost may pe? + +Und dou may'st kneel in Notre Dame, + Und veep away dy sin, +Vhile I go vight at Barriere balls, + Oontil mine poots cave in; +Boot if ve pray, or if ve sin- + Vhile nodings ish refuse, +Tis all de same in Paris here, + So long ash l'on s'amuse. + +O life, mein dear, at pest or vorst, + Ish boot a vancy ball, +Its cratest shoy a vild gallop, + Vhere madness goferns all. +Und should dey toorn ids gas-light off, + Und nefer leafe a shbark, +Sdill I'd find my vay to Heafen - or- + Dy lips, lofe, in de dark. + +O crown your het mit roses, lofe! + O keep a liddel sprung! +Oonendless wisdom ish but dis: + To go it vhile you're yung! +Und Age vas nefer coom to him, + To him Spring plooms afresh, +Who finds a livin' spirit in + Der Teufel und der Flesh. + + +BREITMANN IN LA SORBONNE. + +DER Breitmann sits in la Sorbonne, + A note-pook in his hand, +'Tvas dere he vent to lectures, + Und in oldt Louis le Grand. +Id's more ash two und dwendy years + Since here I used mein pen; +Oh, where ish all de characders, + Dat I hafe known since denn? + +Der cratest boet efer vas, + Der pest I efer known, +Vent lecdures here, too, shoost like me, + Le Sieur Francoys Villon. +He raise de teufel all arount, + He hear de Sorbonne chime; +Crate shpirid ender in mein heart, + Und mofe mein soul to rhyme. + + +BALADE. + +Dictes moy - in what shpirit land + Ish Clara Lafontaine? +Or Pomare, or La Frisette, + Who blazed on soosh a train? +Shveet Echo flings de quesdion pack, + O'er lake or shdreamlet lone; +All eartly peauty fades afay, + Vhere ish dem lofed ones gone? + +Oh, vhere ish Lola Montez now, + So loved in efery land? +How oft I shmoked dose cigarettes + She rollt mit vairy hand! +Dat mighdy soul, dat shplendit brick, + A saint's pecome to be, +For mit soosh saints der Breitmann make + His Hagiologie. + +Und vhere ish La Pochardinette? + Ish she too mit de dead? +She loafed de Latin Quarter mit + A hat und fedder on her het. +Lebe wohl petite Pochardinette! + Qui ne safait refuser, +Ni la ponche a la bleine ferre, + Ni sa pouche a un paiser. + +O Prince! dese quesdions all are nix, + I sit here all alone, +Mit von refrain to end de shdrain, + Vhere ish mein lofed vons gone? +Vhen Marcovitch has cut und run, + Und Schneider's off de ving, +Some cray old reprobate like me + Vill of dese lofed vons sing. + + +BREITMANN IN FORTY-EIGHT. + +DERE woned once a studente, + All in der Stadt Paris,[56] +Whom jeder der ihn kennte, + Der rowdy Breitmann hiess. +He roosted in de rue La Harpe, + Im Luxembourg Hotel, +'Twas shoost in anno '48, + Dat all dese dings pefel. + +Boot he who vouldt go hoontin now + To find dat rue La Harpe, +Moost hafe oongommon shpecdagles, + Und look darnation sharp. +For der Kaisar und his Hausmann + Mit hauses made so vree, +Dere roon shoost now a Bouleverse + Vhere dis shdreet used to pe. + +In dis Hotel de Luxembourg, + A vild oldt shdory say, +A shtudent vonce pring home a dame, + Und on de nexter day, +He pooled a ribbon from her neck- + Off fell de lady's het; +She'd trafelled from de guillotine, + Und valked de city - deadt. + +Boot Breitmann nefer cared himself + If dis vas falsch or drue, +I kess he hat mit lifin gals + Pout quite enough to do. +Und Februar vas gomin, + Ganz revolutionnaire, +Und vhere der Teufel had vork on hand, + Der Hans vas alvays dere. + +Und darker grew de beople's brows, + No Banquet could dey raise, +So dey shtood und shvore at gorners, + Or dey singed de Marseillaise. +Und here und dere a crashin sound + Like forcin shutters ran, +Und boorstin gun-schmidts' vindows in + Hard vorked der Breitemann. + +He helped to howl Les Girondins, + To cheer de beople's hearts; +He maket dem bild parricades + Mit garriages und garts. +Vhen a bretty maiden sendinel + Vonce ask de countersign, +He gafe das kind a rousin giss, + Gott hute dir und dein! + +Und wilder vent de pattle, + France spread her oriflamme, +Und deeper roared de sturm bell, + De bell of Notre Dame; +Und he who nefer heard it, + O'er shots und cries of fear, +Loud booming like a dragon's roar, + Has someding yet to hear. + +Und in de Fauborg Sainte Antoine + Dere comed a fusillade, +Und dyin groans und fallin dead + Vere roundt dat parricade, +But der song of Revolution + From a tousand voices round, +Made a fearful opera gorus + To de deat' gries on de ground. + +Und all around dose parricades + Dey raise der teufel dere; +Somedimes dey vork mit pig-axes, + Und somedimes mit gewehr. +Dey maket prifate houses + Gife all deir arms afay, +Und denn oopon de panels + Dey writet Armes donnees. + +Und ve saw mid roarin vollies, + Shtreaked like banded settin suns, +Two regiments coome ofer, + Und telifer oop deir guns. +Hei! - how de deers vere roonin: + Hei! - how dey gryed hurrahs! +For dey saw de vight vas ofer, + Und dey know dey gained deir cause. + +Dus spoke deir hearts outboorstin, + In battle by de blade, +From sun to sun mit roarin gun + Und donnerin parricade. +In vain pefore de depudies + De princes tremblin stood, +Vot comes in France too late a day + Cooms shoost in dime for blood. + +Vhen de Tuileries vas daken, + Amid de scotterin shot, +Und vlyin stones, und howlin, + Und curses vild und hot, +'Tvas dere Hans clobbed his musket, + Und dere de man vas first +To roosh into de palace, + Ven de toors vere in-geburst. + +Some vellers burn de guart-haus, + Some trink des Konigs wein; +Some fill deir hats mit rasbry sham, + Und prandy beeches fein. +Hans Breitmann in de gitchen + Vas shdare like avery ding, +To see vot lots of victual-de-dees + Id dakes to feed a king. + +Und oder volk, like plackguarts, + Vent dook de goaches out; +Und burnin dem, dey rolled dem + Afay mit yell und shout. +Der Breitmann in der barlor, + Help writen rapidly, +La liberte pour la Pologne! + Likevise - pour l'Italie! + +Den in der Tuileries courtyard + Ten tousand volk come on; +Dey vas gissin und hurrahin + For to dink der king vas gone. +Some vas hollerin und tantzin + Round de blazin oldt caboose; +Vhen Frantschmen kits a goin, + Den dey lets der teufel loose. + +Boot von veller set me laughin, + Who roosh madly roun de field; +He hat rop de Cluny Museum, + Und gestohlen speer und schild. +Mit a sblendit royal charger, + Vitch he hat somevhere found, +Like a trunken Don Quixote, + He vent tearin oop und round. + +Doun vent de line of Bourbons, + Doun vent de vork of years, +Ash de pillars of deir temple + Ge-crashed like splintered speers; +Und o'er dem rosed a phantom, + Wild, beautiful, und weak, +Vhile millions gry arount her- + Vive! vive la Republique; + +Tree days mid shdiflin powder shmoke, + Tree days mid cheers und groans, +Ve fought to guard de parricades, + Or pile dem oop mit shtones. +De hand vitch held de bistol denn, + Or made de crowbar bite, +Das war de same Hans Breitmann's hand + Vitch now dese verses write. + + +BREITMANN IN BELGIUM. + +----- + +"Vlaenderen, dag en nacht + Denk ik aen u. +Waer ik ook ben en vaer, +Gy zyt my altyd naer. +Vlaenderen, dag en nacht + Denk ik aen u. + +Overal vrolykheid, + Overal lust. +Maegden van fier gelaet, +Knapen zoo vroom en draet. +Overal vrolykheid, + Overal lust." + - Hoffmann von Fallersleben. + + +SPA. + +VHEN sommer drees shake fort deir leafs, + Ash maids shake out deir locks, +Und singen mit de rifulets, + Vitch ripplen round de rocks, +Und beople swarm land-outwards, + Und cities weary men, +Hans Breitmann rode de Belgier mark + For Spa in Les Ardennes. + +Und vhen he came to Spadenland, + He found it fein und fair, +For dey pour him out de peke schnapps, + Dazu elixer rare; +Und mit a soldier's inshdink + To find a shanse to shoot, +Mitout delay he fire afay + Right in de Grande Redoute.[57] + +De virst shot dat der Breitmann fired + He pring de peaches down, +For he hit de double zero mit + A gold Napoleon. +Und ash he raked de shiners in, + He hummed a liddle doon: +"I kess I tont try dat again," + Said he, dis afdernoon. + +Boot vhen he coom to rouge et noir, + A tear fell tripplin denn, +Id look so moosh like goot old dimes, + To come dose games again. +Yet vhen he lossed a hundred francs, + He sadly toorned afay, +"I'd rader keep de tiger here, + Dan vight him, any day." + +Und shtanding py de daple, + He saw a French lorette +Vat porrowed shpecie all around, + Und lossed at efery bet. +"Id's all de same mit dis or dat, + Or any kind of sin, +De lorette or de rolette - bot' + Will make de money shpin." + +He trinket of Le Pouhon well, + Und from La Sauveniere; +He tried it ad de Barisart, + Und auch de Geronstere. +"Dey say dat Troot' lie in a well, + So trink from all we can, +Und here we'll prove dat Troot is Health," + Dat's so, sayd Breitemann. + +So long in ruined Franchimont + He sat on hollowed ground, +Und dinked of Wilhelm de la Marck, + Who'd raked dat coontry round. +"Mein Gott! how id vas mofe mine heart + To read in hishdory, +Und find de scattered shinin lights + Of vellers shoost like me! + +"Dis nople boar-pig of Ardennes, + Dis shtately Wallowin lord, +Vas make him vamous py de pen, + Und glorious py de swordt. +Und showed his hero-scholarship, + Vhen he wrote to de pishop, 'Satis, +Brulabo monasterium + Vestrum, si non payatis.' + +"Dey say dat in de keller here + Dere lifes a coblin briest, +Dereto a teufelsjagersmann + Vot guard a specie chest. +O if I vonce could find de vay, + Und spot dat box of checks, +I voonder shoost how long 'twould pe + Pefore I'd twis deir necks." + +Und in de Walk of Meyerbeer, + Vhere plashin brooklets ring, +He see vhere in de water wild + De wood-birds flip deir wing. +"Ash de prooklet's lost in de rifer, + Und de rifer's lost in de sea, +Mine soul kits lost on water 'plain,'" + Says Breitemann, says he. + +Und ash he walked de Meyerbeer + He marcked, peside de way, +A rock shoost like a wild boar's head, + Vraie tete du sanglier. +Der Breitmann heafe a shiant sigh, + Und say mit 'motion grand: +Von crate idee ish uber all + In dis der Schweinpig's land. + +He drafel troo de Val d'Ambleve, + He lounge de schweet Sept Heures, +He shdare indo de window-shops, + Und see de painted ware.[58] +He looket at de fans und dings, + Denn said, "To tell de trut', +Dere's painted vares more dear ash dis + Oop shdairs in La Redoute." + +Und sittin in de Champignon, + Vitch rose 'neat Lofe's schweet hand, +He read in books of Marmontel, + Of Jeannette et Lubin. +Id's nice to see Simplicitas + Rococoed oop mit vlowers, +Und dink soosh virtue shdill may life + In dis base vorldt of ours. + +'Tvas here, oopon de Spadoumont + Deir gottashe used to set; +'Tvas here they keeped von simple cow + Likevise an lettuce-bett. +Berhaps I hafe crown vorldly since, + Yet shdill may druly say, +Dat in mine poyhood's tays I vas + Apout so good ash dey. + +But he vot vant to see dis land, + Und has nod time for all: +Eash woodland nook und shady brook; + On Herr Marcette shouldt call. +For he has baintet all to live + Vhen de drees demselfs are gone; +Und shoost so goot as artist, auch, + Ish he bon compagnon. + +Farevell, schveet Spa - dou home of vlowers, + Of ruin and of rock, +Vhere vild pirds sing und de band ish blay + Eash day at sefen o'clock. +If all de shbrees dat Spa has seen + Vere melted into von, +De soul vouldt reach Nirwana - lost + In transcendental fun. + + +OSTENDE. + +"Hupsa! jonker Jan, +Die wel ruiter worden kan." + +BOON tidings to der Breitmann came + Ash he at table end, +Dere's right goot fisch at Blankenberghe, + Und oysters in Ostend. +Denn to Ostland ve will reiten gaen, + To Ostland o'er de sand, +Dou und I mit pridle drawn + For dere ish de oyster land. + +Und vhen dey shtood bei Ostersee, + Vhere de waters roar like sin, +Dere coom five hundert fischer volk + To dake der Breitmann in. +"Gotts doonder! Should ve doomple down + Amoong de waters plue, +I kess you'd vant more help from me + Dan I should vant from you! + +"If you hat peen vhere I hafe peen + Und see vot I hafe see, +Vhere de surf rise oop nine tausend feet, + In de land of Nieuw Jarsie +Und schwimmed dat surf ash I hafe schwimmed, + Peside de Jersey stran'"- +From dat day fort' de Ostland men + Shdeered glear of der Breitemann. + +Boot von ding set him schvearin so, + I dinked he'd nefer cease, +De Ostend oysters kostet more + In Ostend als Paris. +Hans asked an anciendt fisherman, + To 'splain dis if he may, +Und says he, "Mijn Heer - dey're beter hier + Als ein hundert leagues afay. + +"Und as de oysters beter hier + Of course dey kostet more"- +Der Breitmann dook his bilcrim shdaff, + Und toorned him to de toor. +Says Hans, "De Vlaemsche fischermen + Can sheat de vorldt I pet +Dey sheaten von anoder too, + All's fisch to a Dutchman's net. + +"Der king peginned a palace hier, + De palace hat to shtop, +He foundt de beoples sheaten so + He gife de bildin oop. +Aldough das Leben hier ish goot, + Ad least Ostend-sibly"- +So shpoke der Breitemann und cut + Dat city py de sea. + + +GENT. + +"Wie kennt die stad waer alles nog + Van Vlaenderens grootheid spreekt? +Waer ontrouw, valschheid en bedrog + Van schaemte nog verbleekt?" + - Ledeganck. + +If I hat gold, as I hafe time, + I tells you how 'tvere shpent, +On efery year I'd shtay a week + In Vlanderen's hoofstad, Gent. +For, oh! de sveet wild veelins, + In dat stad do mofe me so, +Vhen I'd dink of all de clorious men + Vot life dere long aco. + +If efer man hat manly heart, + He'd veel dat heart to beat, +Vhen mit de oldten dime of Ghent + He valks troo efery shdreet. +Und ach! de volk are yet so goot, + It gave me soosh a pliss, +Vhen I hear a bier-hous spielman sing + A melodie like dis:- + +"Het was op eenen Monday, + All on a Monday free, +Dat mijnheere Jacob Van Artevelde + Unto his men said he: +He seide - 'Mijn lief gesellen, + Ve all moost ride out land, +And trive our way to Bruges town + Or Brussel in Braband.' + +"Und as he oonto Brussel cam, + De meisjes sprong from bed, +Und found Mynheere Van Artevelde + Mit a cross-bolt troo his head." +Und shoost pecause dis bier-hous song + Recht troo my heartsen vent, +I feel dat I could life und die + All in de down of Gent. + + +BREITMANN IN HOLLAND. + +----- + +'S GRAVENHAGE - THE HAGUE. + +IN dis boem, mein freund der Herr Breitmann hafe his fiews on art +pefore-geset mit a deepness und shorthood vich is bropably oonliked +in Aesthetik. Ve hafe here, within de circumcomprehensifeness of +dirty-two lines, a theorie vitch - shortsomely exbressed - sends to +der teufel efery dings ash vas efer gescribed pefore on kunst or +art, und maket efery podies from Baumgartner doun to Fischer und +Taine, look shoost like puddin-headet old gasbalgs. Boot to de +boem. For de informadion of dem ash ish not gestudied art, I vould +shtate dat Adriaan Brauwer (who ish as regards an unvollkomene +technik de first of all Holland malers), vas nefer paint nodings +boot droonken plackguards und liederlich dings, und Van Ostade und +Jan Steen vas in most deir bilds a goot deal like him. + - FRITZ SCHWACKENHAMMER. + +Hans reitet troo de Nederland, + From Rotterdam below, +To Gravenhaag und Leyden + Und Haarlem - all a row; +He shtoodit in de galleries + A tausend works of art; +Boot ach - der Adriaan Brauwer, + Vent most teepest to his heart. + +Und dus exglaim der Breitmann + In woonder-solemn shdrain, +"De cratest men vere Brauwer, + Van Ostade, und Jan Steen. +Der Raffael vas vel enof; + Dat ish in his shmall vay; +Boot - Gott im Himmel! - vot vas he + Coompared mit soosh as dey? + +"Shoost see dat vight of troonken boors- + Von tears de oder's goat: +Vhile de oder mit a pointet knife + Ish goin for his troat. +Und a madchen mit a tree-leg shtuhl + Ish clip him on de het, +In dese higher human passion valks, + Der Raffael's coldt und deadt. + +"De more ve digs into de eart'- + Or less ve seeks a star,- +De nearer ve to Natur coom, + More pantheistich far; +To him who reads dis myst'ry right, + Mit insbiration gifen, +Der Raffael's rollen in de dirt, + Vhile Brauwer soars to Heafen. + + +LEYDEN. + +TIS shveet to valk in Holland towns + Apout de twilicht tide, +Vhen all ish shdill on proad canals, + Safe vhere a poat may clide. +Shdrange light on darkenin vater falls, + In long soft lines afar, +Der abenddroth on dunkelheit, + Vitch shows - or hides - a star. + +De pridges risen all aroundt + So quaindly, left und right, +Pedween each pridge und shattow, lies, + A lemon of yellow light, +Und das volk a-goin ober, + So darklin onwarts pass, +Dey look like Chinese shattows - shown + Apofe a lookin-glass. + +All shdiller grows, und shdiller, + Sogar die efenin preeze, +Ish only heardt far ober het + In dese long lines of drees; +A real oldt Holland feelin + Cooms gadderin ober all, +You'd nefer dink a sturm hat peen + Oopon dis Grand Canawl. + +De nople houses! - how dey'd mofe + An old New Yorker's heart, +Time vas - twix dese und dose at home + You couldn't tell 'em part, +Mit crate brass knockers on de toors, + Und parlors town so low +You see de crates a glowin prite + O'er carbets ash you go. + +Dere's comfort-full of avery dings, + You veel it ash you look, +You knows de volks ish opulend, + Und keep a bully cook; +Und oopon de high camine, + Or here und dere on shelf, +Dere's Japanesisch dings in rows, + Pe mingled oop mit delf. + +Dere's noding in dis Holland life, + Vitch seems of present day, +De fery shildren in de shdreeds + Look quaintlich as dey blay; +De liddle rosy housemaids, + In bicdures vell I know, +De dames und heers hafe all an air + Of sixdy years ago. + +They may dalk of anciendt hishdory + Und for romantisch seek, +De ding dat mofes most teeply ish + Old-vashioned - not antique. +O if you live in Leyden town + You'll meet, if troot' pe told, +De forms of all de freunds who tied + Vhen du werst six years old. + + +SCHEVENINGEN, +OR DE MAIDEN'S COORSE. + +Oldt Flamisch. + +HET vas Mijn Heer van Torenborg, + Ride oud oopon de sand, +Und vait to hear a paardeken; + Coom tromplin from de land. +He vaited vhen de boeren volk + Vent oud oopon de plain, +He vaited dill de veary crows + Flew nestwarts home acain. + +He vaited ash de wild fox vaits + In long-some hoonger noth, +He vaited dill de flitterin bats + Vere plack on Abendroth. +Id's woe to watch for taily bread + Or bide forgotten call, +Boot oh, to vait for heartsen lofe + Ish veariest of dem all. + +"O dat ish not mine laity's prooch + Shoost now so star-like shined, +O dat ish not mine laity's haar + Soft floatin on de wind. +Her goot crayhound mit soosh a step + Vas nefer vont to go, +Und dat is niet her paardeken + Whose shtep so vell I know. + +"Dat light ish speer light from a lanz + Vitch'll part mine pody und soul, +De floatin haar is a pennon gay + Or wafin banderol. +De crayhound ish a ploot-hound wild + Vitch long has dracked me here, +Und het paardeken ish a var-horse + Vot has hoonted me like deer." + +Well shpoke Mijn Heer van Torenborg + All drue vas afery wordt, +For dey bored him troo mit lanzen, + Und dey hewed him mit de swordt. +Dey killt him armloss, harmlos; + De plooty reiver band; +Und puried him so careloosly + Dat his vace shtick out de sand. + +Boot e'er night's plack hat toorned to red + Or e'er de stars vere gone, +Dere came de shtep of a paardeken + Soft tromplin, tromplin on. +A laity fair climped off on him + Und trip mit dainty toes:- +Boot oh, mijn Gott! - how she vas shkreem + Ven she trot on her drue lofe's nose! + +"Oh vot ish dis I trots opon? + Id's shape fool well I know, +Dere nefer yet vas flower like dis, + Dat in de garten crow. +Dere nefer yet vas fruit like dis + Ash ripen on a dree; +Het is Mijn Heer van Torenborg + Dat kan ik blainly see. + +"Dat heerlijk nose, van Torenborg, + Ish known of anciend dime, +'Tis writ in olten chronikel + Und sung in minsdrel rhyme. +Und dis, de noblest of de race + Since hishdory pegans, +Ish shtickin here - shdraighdt out de dirt, + Shoost like some boer manns. + +"Oh cuss de man dat mordered him! + Ach, cuss him oop and down, +Ja - cuss him troo de forest roads, + Und tamn him in de toun! +Und burn his vater und moder, + Vhere'er deir vootshteps vall, +Mit his schwesters und his broders, + De teufel rake dem all! + +"May afery cuss dat e'er vas cusst, + Since cussin foorst pegan; +Pe hoorled in von drementous cuss, + Acainsdt dat nasdy man! +From de foorst crate cuss on Adam, + To de smalles' of de crop"- +Here de tead man gafe a shifer, + Und gry oud - "For Gott's sake - shdop! + +"Dere's a cerdain lot of shwearin, + Vitch anger alvays crafes; +Boot spite like dat's enof to pring + De tead men from deir craves. +I can't lie here no longer, + Und hear soosh pizen pain; +Und since you've shtirred me out, I kess + I'll coom to life acain." + +Mit von drementous shkreem of pliss, + His drue lofe shtood de shock, +Den catcht him wildly py de nose, + "Ach Torenborg - lev'st du nock! +Ach ja - du aint'st nod tead yet! + Dere's life shdill lef' pehind, +Gott pless de dat lef' dy nose, + Shdill wafin in de wind." + +Mit hands all ofer diamonds, + She loosed de sand apout, +Mit an oyster-shell so wildly + She digged her lofer out. +"Und now dou'rt in free air, lofe! + Who warst shoost now in sand! +Dere vasn't ish a nicer man, + In all de Nederland! + +Vhere vas dit liedeken written, + Vhere vas dit liedeken sing, +Dat had gedone Hans Breitmann, + In de town of Schevening! +'Tvas written ober Rheinwein, + 'Tvas written ober bier- +Und wer das lied gesungen hat, + Gott geb ihm ein glucklich's jahr.[59] + + +AMSTERDAM. + +TO Amsterd-m came Breitmann + All in de Kermes tide; +Yonge Maegden allegader + Filled de straat on afery side. +De meisjes in de straaten + Vere tantzin alle nacht long; +Dere vas kissen, dere vas trinken, + Mit a roar of Holland song. + +Who went into de straaten + Ven de sonn had gone his day, +De Dootch gals quickly grapped him + Und tantzed him wild avay. +Dere was der Prinz von Capua, + Who fell among dese wags; +Dey tantzed him off in a carmagnole, + Und sent him home in rags. + +Und den at afery gorner, + So peaudifool to see, +De volk vas bilin dough-nuts, + Or else vas fryin tea. +Und Kermes cakes mit boetry, + Vitch land-volk dinks a dreat, +Mit all of Barnum's blayed out shows + In dents along de shdreet. + +Id pring de tears to Breitmann's eyes, + To find in many a shtand +Vot oft he'd baid a quarder for + To see in a distand land. +De Aztec dwins und de Siamese + (Dough soom vere a wachsen sham); +Mit de Beardet Frau und de Bear Woman- + All here in Amsterdam + +De fashion here in Nederland + Ish not vot you'd soopose, +Mit oos, men bays de vomens, + Boot de Dootch gals hires deir beaux! +Dey hire dem for de season, + Und because moosh rain ish fell, +Dey alvays bays a higher brice, + For a man mit an umberell. + +Und dere vas Nord Hollander maids, + So woonderfool to see, +Mit caps of gold und goldne pins, + Und quaint orfeverie. +Likewise de Zeeland Boersmen, + Mit silber bootons gay; +Und silber belts, und silber knives, + Mijn Gott! - how sdrange vere dey! + +But dough de men wore silber gear, + Und de vrouws in gold were tall, +De gals vere gabblin all de dimes, + Und de men said noding at all. +"Dey say dat sbeech is silbern, + Boot silence golden pe, +Dat aint de vay dey vork id here," + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Goot Gott! how Breitmann vent it, + In moonlighdt or in rain; +Den vakened to Schied-m it, + Ven de mornin peamed again. +For to solfe von awfool broplem, + He vas efer shdill incline; +If - den wijn is beter als de min,[60] + Or - de min doet veel meer als de wijn. + +Dwo weeks der Breitmann studiet, + Vile he vent it on de howl. +He shpree so moosh to find de troot, + Dat he lookt like a bi-led owl. +Den he say, "Ik wil honor Bacchus, + So long as ik leven shall; +Boot not so moosh vercieren + As to blace him ofer all. + +De rose of lofe is lofely + In zomer ven it plow; +De bush shdill gifes a bromise, + In winter mid de shnow; +Ja, als de bloeme is geplukt, + En van den steel genomen,[61] +Ve know de peautiful vill life, + Till zomer is gekomen. + +Boot oh dose vas arch-heafenly dimes, + Ven by mine lofe I sat; +Und see de maedchen pring de grapes, + Und crash dem in a vat. +Und ven her glances unto mine + In plessfool ropture toorn; +I dink dere ne'er vas no dwo crapes + Like dem plue eyes of hern. + +Wat is soeter als de trinken,[62] + Ja - niet kan beter zyn. +Niet is soeter as de minne, + It smackt nog beter als wijn. +Es giebt nichts wie die Madchen, + Es gibt nichts wie das Bier, +Wer liebt nicht alle beide, + Wird gar kein Cavalier. + +O vot ve vant to quickest come + Ish dat vot's soonest gone. +Dis life ish boot a passin from + de efer-gomin-on. +De gloser dat ve looks ad id, + De shmaller it ish grow; +Who goats und spurs mit lofe und wein, + He makes it fastest go. + + +GERMANY. + +----- + +BREITMANN AM RHEIN - COLOGNE. + +HOW wunderschon das Vaterland + In audumn-life abbears; +Vot rainpows gild ids vallies crand, + Ven seen troo vallin tears. +Und VON I'll creet mit sang und klang, + Und drown in goldnen wein; +Old Deutschland's cot her sohn again: + Hans Breitmann's on der Rhein. + +Und doughts ish schwell dat mighdy heart, + Too awfool for make known; +Ven dey shunt him from de railroat car + Und tropped him in Cologne. +De holy towers of de dome + Cleam, twilicht-veiled, afar; +Und like some lonely bilgrim's pipe, + Dim shines de efenin star. + +Hans look to find his baggage check, + Und see dat all ish shdraighdts, +Denn toorn him to de city toors, + "Mein nadife land - wie gehts?" +Boot dat's vot all who read may run- + Fool blainly armies write; +Id's ofer all half Shermany, + Set down in Black and White. + +Oh, Black and White! O Weiss and Schwarz! + Vot dings ish dis to see? +I vonder vot in future years + Your mission ish to pe? +Also in crate America + We had soosh colors too! +Die Farb' sind mir nicht unbekannt[63]- + Id's shoost tout comme chez nous. + +Next tay to de Cathedral + He vent de dings to view, +Und found it shoost drei thaler cost + To see de sighds all troo. +"Id's tear," said Hans; "boot go ahet, + I'fe cot de cash all right; +Boot id's queer dat's only Protestands + Vot mosdly see de sighdt! + +"Im Mittelalter I hafe read + De shoorsh vas alvays sure- +An open bicdure gallerie, + Und book for all de poor. +Boot now de dings is so arrange + No poor volk can get in; +We Yankees und de Englisch are + Pout all ash shbends de tin. + +"I shmiles like Mephistopheles + In shoorshes ven I see +Poor Catholics vollerin round apout + To shdeal a sighdt - troo ME! +Dey peep und creep roundt chapel gates, + Boot soon kits trofe afay, +Dey gross demselfs, und make a brayer- + Boot den dey cannot bay! + +"Dese Deutsche sacrisdans might learn + More goot in Italy, +Where beoples bays shoost half de brice, + For ten dimes more to see, +De volk vot dink I shbeak sefere + Apout dese Kuster vays, +May read vot Mr. Badeker + In his Belgine Hand Buch says." + +Und valkin oop und town de down + Von ding vas shdill de same: +Shoost ash of oldt he saw de shpread + Of Jean Farina's name. +He find it nort', he find it sout', + He find it eferyvhere; +Dere vas no house in all Cologne + Boot J. M. F. vas dere.[64] + +De best Cologne in all Cologne + I'll shwear for cerdain sure, +Ish maket in de Julichsplatz + Und dat at Numero Four. +Boot of dis Cologne in Julichsplatz + Let dis pe understood, +Dat some of id ish foorst-rate pad, + Vhile some is foorst-rate good. + +Boot von ding drafellers moost opserve, + Dis treadful trut I dells, +Fast ash dis Farinaceous crowd + So vast hafe grown the schmells- +Dose awfool schmells in gass' und strass' + Vitch mofe crate Coleridge squalm: +If so he wrote, vot vouldt he write + Apout dem now, py tam? + +Of all de schmells I efer schmelt, + Py gutter, sink, or well, +At efery gorner of Cologne + Dere's von can peat dat schmell. +Vhen dere you go you'll find it so, + Don't dake de ding on troost; +De meanest skunk in Yankee land + Vould die dere of disgoost. + +Boot noding dinked der Breitmann + Of schmutz or idle schein, +Vhen he sat in Abendammerung + Und looket owd on der Rhein +Im goldnen gleam - vhile pealin far + Rang shlow, shveet kloster bells, +Und in de dim, plue peaudiful, + Rose distant Drachenfels. + +Dey trinket lieb Liebfrauenmilch + So pure ash voman's trut'; +De singed de songs of Shermany, + De songs of Breitmann's yout'. +De songs mit tears of vanished years, + Made peaudiful in wein. +Dus endet out de firster tay + Of Breitmann on der Rhein. + + +AM RHEIN. - No. II. + +IM KAHN. + +"Were diu werlt alle min, +Von deme mere unze an den Rin. +Des wolt ih mih darben, +Daz diu dame von Engellant +Lege an minen armen." + - Carmina Burana. + +AM Rhein! Acain am Rheine! + In boat oopon der Rhein! +De castle-bergs soft goldnen + Im Abendsonnenschein, +Mit lots of Rudesheimer, + Und saitenklang und sang, +Und laties singin lieder, + Ash ve go sailin 'long. + +Und von fair Englisch dame + Vas dere, so wunderscheen; +Vene'er der Breitmann saw her, + Id made his heartsen pain. +Oh, dose long-tailed veilchen Augen, + Vitch voke soosh hopes und fears, +Deir shape vas nod like almonds, + Boot more like fallin tears. + +Und shpecdagles were o'er dem, + De glass of pince-nez kind, +In mercy to de beoples, + Less dey pe shdrucken blind. +Und gazin in dem glasses, + Reflected he pehold +De Rhine, mit all de shdeam-poats, + Und crags in Sonnengold. + +De signs upon de bier-haus; + De gals a-washin close; +De wein-garts on de moundain, + Like heafenly shdairs in rows: +De banks, basaltic-paven, + Like bee-hife cells to view; +A donkey shtandin on dem, + Likevise her lofer too. + +All dis oopon dos glasses + Vas blainly to pe seen; +One saw whate'er vas nodiced, + Py de schone Englandrinn. +Boot oh! de fery lofe-most + Of all dat lofe-most pe +Her own plue veilchen Augen- + Herself she couldt not see. + +So ist es in dis Leben; + For beaudy oft we spied, +Nor know de cratest peaudy + Ish in our soul inside. +Mein Gott! Vot himmlisch shplendor + Vas seen mitout an toubt, +If some crate bower supernal + Vas toorn oos insite out! + +Und gazin long on Natur, + Und gazin long on Man, +Shdill all dings glite voruber, + Ash since de vorldt pegan: +Ash in dat laity's glasses, + Ve see dem bassin py; +Yet veel a soul beneat' dem, + A schweet eternal eye. + +O schone Englisch maiden + Mit honey-colored hair, +Dat flows ash if a beinen korb + Had got oopsettet dere- +Und all de schweetness of your soul + Vas dripplin from your brain! +Oh shall I efer meet mit dir + Oopon dis eart' acain? + +O Englisch engel maiden! + O schveet betaubend dofe! +O Rheinwein und cigarren! + O luncheon, mixed mit lofe! +O Drachenfels und Nonnenwerth! + O Liebeslust und pein! +Dus ents de second chapterlet + Of Breitmann on der Rhein. + + +AM RHEIN. - No. III. + +NONNENWERTH. + +(Alt Deutsch.) + +HE shtood peside de Kloster-place, + Oopon de Rheinisch shore, +Und dere he saw a lofely face, + He'd seen in treams pefore. + +"Feinslieb, und will'st dou go mit me? + Feinsllieb, make no delay; +For rocks ish shdeep und vales ish teep, + Und dings ish in de way." + +"Und oh! how can I go mit dir, + Or flyen out of land? +Der bischof holts me py de law, + Der Rheingraf by der hand. + +"Liebsherz, if dou could'st landwarts gehn, + I'd follow willingly; +Boot we are leafs, und shdrong's de shdem + Vitch pinds oos to de dree." + +"Der briest who helt dee py de law + Ish now a broken man; +Der Rheingraf who vouldt marry dee + Ish in der Kaisar's ban. + +"Und if de Kloster-beoples here + Vill shdop your goin to town, +Bei Gott! I'll burn von half of dem, + De oder half I'll trown! + +"Denn linger not to back dy drunk, + Boot led our lofe hafe vings; +Dere's milliners in fair Cologne, + Vill make you avery dings." + +She toorn her eyes im mondenschein, + She schmile so heafenly; +"Dear lofe, so shendle und so goot! + I'll cut away mit dee. + +"Und do not killl de Kloster-volk, + 'Tvouldt only bring tiscrace! +Dough if I had de abbess here, + Lort! how I'd slap her vace!" + +De moonlighdt blayed oopon de drees, + It shined oopon de blain, +Two forms rode in de mitnight woods, + Und nefer coomed again. + + +MUNICH. + +GAMBRINUS. + + "Vot ish Art? Id ish somedings to drink, objectively +foregebrought in de Beaudiful. Doubtest dou? - denn read, ash +I hafe read, de Dyonisiacs of Nonnus, and learn dat de +oopboorstin of infinite worlds into edernal Light und mad goldnen +Lofeliness - yea of dein own soul - is typifide only py de CUP. +Vot! - shdill skebdigal? Tell me denn, O dou of liddle fait, vere on +eart ish de kunst obtain ids highest form if not in a BIERSTADT?[65] +Ha! ha! I poke you dere!" + - Caupo Recauponatus, MS. by Fritz Swackenhammer, olim +candidatus theologiae at Tubingen, shoost now lagerbierwirth in St. +Louis. (Dec. 1869.) + +"Cerevisia bibunt homines +Animalia ceterae fontes." + +In a field of goldnen parley + Goot King Gambrinus shlept, +Und treamin' pout de dursty volk, + Dey say he gried und vept. +"In all mine land of Nederland, + Dere crows no mead or wein, +Und wasser I couldt nefer get + Indo dis troat of mein. + +"Now hear me on, ye headen gotts! + Und all de Christian too; +Der Bacchus und der Shoopider, + Und Marie tressed in plue! +Und mighdy Thor, der donner gott, + Und any else dat be! +Der von as helps me in dis Noth, + His serfant I will pe." + +Und ash dis sinfull headen + All in de parley lay, +Dere coom in tream an angel + Who soft dese worts tid say: +"Stay oop, dou boor Gambrinus! + For efen all aroundt +Im parley vhere dou shleepest, + Some dings goot to trink ish found. + +"Im parley vhere dou shleepest + Dere hides a trink so clear, +Dat men will know zukunftig- + Ash porter- ale- or bier." +Und denn in Nederlandisch + He put de konig troo, +Und gafe him - allwhile treaming- + De recipe to prew. + +Oop rose der goot Gambrinus, + Und shook him in de sun: +"Go vay, ye sinfool headen gotts! + Mit you its out und done! +Ye'fe left me mit mine beoples + In error und in durst, +Till in our treadful tryness, + Ve tont know vitch is wurst." + +Dat vas der goot Gambrinus + Oonto his palac't vent, +Und loafers troo de Nederland + To all his lordts he sent. +"Leave Odin - or you lose your hets!" + De order vas sefere, +Yet tinged mit mildness, for he sent + De recipe for bier. + +O den a merry sound vas heardt + Of bildin troo de land, +Und de kirchen und de braweries + Vent oop on efery hand; +For de masons dey vere hart at vork, + Und trinkin hart at dat, +Und some hat bricks mitin de hods, + Und some mitin deir hat. + +Dey prew it in de Nederland, + Dey prew it on de Rhine; +Boot in de oldt Bavarian land, + Dey make it shdrong und fein. +Und he dat trinks in Munich, + Ash all goot vellers know, +Has got somedings to dink apout, + Vherefer he may go. + +II. + +Hafe you heardt of Kong Gambrinus? + If you hafen't id vas gueer, +For he vas de first erfinder + Und de holy saint of bier. +Und his bortrait, mit a sceptre, + Fery peaudifool to see, +Hangs on afery lager-bier house, + In de land of Germanie. + +Efery vhere de whole world ofer, + Deutschers paint him on de sign, +As a broof dat dey are dealin + In de Bok und Lager line. +Crown und bier-mug, robe und ermine; + German signs of empire, dese, +Mit a long white beard a fallin' + Fery nearly to his knees. + +Vonce dis bier-saint, pright und early, + Rose from bett und vent his vay, +To a dark mysderious gastle, + Vhere his lager-donjon lay. +Vhile de lark's first song vas ringin', + Und die roses shone in dew, +Den his soul vas shoost in order + To enshoy de early brew. + +Deeply, awfooly he schwilled it, + Till de vaults seem toornin round; +Und vhile tipsy - over tips he- + In he falls - und dere is trowned. +Yet vhile goorglin in de bier-fass, + Biously he gafe his soul: +"Gott verdammich! Donnerwetter! + Himmels sacrament-a-mol!" + +Dere dey found der kong "departed," + Not mitout his stir-up cup: +Moosh dey woonderd dat he berishet + Vhen he might hafe troonk it oop; +Or dat his long peard vitch floatet + Fool a yard on efery side, +Hadn't buoyed him from destrugdion:- + Dus der beer-dead monarch died. +FRANKFORT-ON-THE-MAIN. + +"Sankt Martin war ein frommer Mann +Trank gerne Cerevisiam, +Und hatt er kein Pecuniam +So liess er seinen Tunicam." + +(Comment by Herr Schwackenhammer.) + +VONCE oopon a dimes in Frankfort der Herr Breitemann exsberiencet +an interfal pedween de periot ven he hat gespent de last remiddance +he hat become from home, und de arrifal of de succedin wechsel, or +bill of exghange - und, in blain derms, was hard up. Derefore he +vent to dat goot relation who may pe foundt at den or fifdeen per +cent all de worlt ofer, - "mine Onkel," - und poot his tress-goat +oop de shpout for den florins. No sooner vas dis done, dan dere +coomed an infitation from de English laity in whom he vas so moosh +mit lofe in betaken, to geh mit her to a ball-barty. Awful bad vas +he veel, und sot apout tree hours mitout sayin nodings, und denn +wafin his hand, boorst out mit de vollowin version of dat peaudiful +lied by Wilhelm Caspary:- + + "Mein Frack ist im Pfand-haus." + +Mine tress-goat is shpouted, mine tress-goat aint hier, +Vhile you in your ball-ropes go splurgin, mein tear! +To barties mit you I'm infitet you know, +Boot my pest coat ish shpouted - mine poots are no go. +To hell mit mine Onkel - dat rasgally knafe! +Dis pledgin und pawnin has mate me his slafe! +Ven I dink of his sign-bost, den dree dimes I bawl, +Vhile mine plack pants hang lonely und dark on de wall. + +Goot night to dee fine lofe - so lofely und rich, +Mein tress-goat ish shpouted - gon-fount efery stitch! +I dinks dat olt Satan troo all mine affairs, +Lofe, business, und fun, has peen sewin his tares. +My tress-goat ish shpouted - mine tress-goat aint here, +While you in your glorie go shinin, mein tear, +Und de luck of der teufel ish loose ofer all, +Vhile my black pants hang lonely und dark on de wall. + + Dis four-goin song vas over-set by der Hans Breitmann from de +German of Wilhelm Caspary, whose lyric vas a barody on a +dranslation made indo Deutsch by Freiligrath from anoder boem py +Sir Waldherr Scott, vitch Sir Waldherr vas kit de idee of from an +oldt Scottish ballad vitch pegin mit de vorts- + +"My hearts in de Hielands, mein hearts ish nae hier, +Mein hearts in de Hielands, in wilden revier; +It hoonts for de shtag, und id hunts for de reh, +Mein hearts ist im Hochland wo immer ich geh." + + Dis is de original Scotch, as goot as I can mineself rememper it. +Ven I vas dell der Herr Karl Blind pout dis intercommixture of +perplexified dransitions from Scotch to English, and dence into +German, and dereafter into a barody, vitch vas be done ofer again indo +Herr Breitmann's own slanguage, he sait it vas a Rattenkonig - a +phrase too familiar to mine readers to require any wider +complication.[66] + + +ITALY. + +----- + +BREITMANN IN ROME. + +DERE'S lighds oopon de Appian, + Dey shine de road entlang; +Und from ein hundert tombs dere brumms + A wild Lateinisch song; +It rings from Nero's goldnen haus; + Evoe! - here he coom! +Fly oud, ye moenads, from your craves!- + Hans Breitmann's got to Rome! + +For vhile de lamp holts oud to purn, + Or von goot shpark ish dere, +Dere's hope for all of dem whose lives + Ish doun in Lempriere. +Von real, shenuine heathen + Is coom at last to home; +Ye shleepin gotts, lift oop your hets- + Hans Breitmann lifes in Rome! + +Silenus mit der Hercules, + Dere-to der Maia's sohn, +Ish all unite in Breitmann + To make a stunnin one. +Frau Venus mit de Bacchanals + Ist shmile to see him come; +De Vesta only toorn her pack + Vhen Breitmann kit to Rome. + +He vented to de Vacuum, + Vhere de Bope ish keep his bulls; +Boot couldn't vind dem, dough he heardt + Dat all de blace vas fools. +Dere ish here and dere some ochsen, + Right manivest I see; +Boot de bools all comes from Irish priests, + Said Breitemann, said he. + +Und goin' py de Vacuum, + Und passin' troo de yard; +Mein Gott! how vas he stoomple, vhen + He see der Schweitzer guard, +Mit efery kinds of colors tresst, + Like shtreamers in de van. +"Hans Wurst ist stets ein Deutscher g'west," + Das marked der Breitemann. + +Und dus replied an guartsmann:- + "I shoys to see you here: +Ich bin dem Bapst sei Laibgaertner. + Dazu a halberthier. +Dis purpur kleid of yellow-plue + Vas made, ash I hafe heard, +Py von Hans Michel Angelo, + Der tailor of our guard. + +"Ve're shoost von hoondert dirty strong, + Ve list for twenty year; +De serfice ist not pad, boot dis- + Verdamm das Romisch bier! +For ven mit birra gazzosa + A maiden fills my glass, +She might ash vell gife gift ash say- + 'Feinslieb, ich schenk dir dass!'" + +Und dus rebly der Breitmann:- + "Un Tedesco Italianazato, +Ein Deutscher toorned Italian, ish + Il diavolo in carnato. +Your clothes are like infernal flames, + Dey burn my fery soul; +Boot to-night we'll trink togedder - nun + Lieb'landsmann lebe wohl!" + +At de Sherman artisds' festa, + Vhere all vas pright und fair, +'Tvas fairer und more prighterfull + Vhen Breitmann enter dere. +Und der vaiters in de Greco + (So long he trinked und sot) +Vas called him L'Ubbriacone- + 'Tvas de name der Breitmann got. + +He saw a veller in de shtreet, + Vot sell some friction-matches; +De kind dey call Infallible, + For dey blazes ven you scratches. +Dey dragged him off to brison, + Und tied him mit a rope; +For in Rome dere's nix Infallible, + Dey said, excebt de Bope. + +Hans see de crate Prometheus, + In Corsini's gallery hang; +He tought apout de matches, + Und it made his heart go bang. +It's risk to carry light apout, + Too cheap for efery man; +How de Lucifers is fallen![67] + Ita dixit Breitmann. + +He got among de Bope's Zouaves, + Dey trinked from morn to night; +Den frolicked colle belle + Ontil de shky crew pright. +It blease der Breitmann vonderfool, + And dus he often say: +"Zouaviter in modo ish + Der real Roman way." + +Boot oh, his heart burned vild mit fire, + His eyes gefilled mit tears, +At de gotts in efery bilder saal, + Mit goats' legs, tails, und ears. +Und he sopped - "Ach liebes Deutschland, + Bist here on every hand? +Was machst du Mephistopheles + So weit im Walschen Land?" + +Boot de wood-nymphs boorst out laughin, + Der Garten-gott dere to, +Und sait - "Oldt Hans! vile you're apout + Ve nefer can look blue." +Den Pan blay on his Syrinx, + To de tune of Mary Blane, +"Don't gry pecause ve're out of town, + Ve're coming pack again. + +"Von day you got de yolk und vhite, + De next day only shells; +Von day dey holts a council, + Und de next day - 'someding else!' +Id's bopes und kings, und gotts and dings, + Oopon dis eartly ball; +Boot for me id's all von frolic, + Und a high oldt carnival! + +"Rise oop, dou Odin-trafeler, + Und toorn dee to de Nort, +Wherefrom, as Bible dells dee, + Crate efil shall come fort. +Dere is mutterins in Ravenna, + Und ere long dere'll come a turn, +A real hell-bender from de land + Of Dieterich von Bern. + +"Und ven der Breitmann's prototype, + Der Fictoor Manuel, +Cooms tromplin, tromplin troo de fern, + To give dis coontry hell. +Und ven in La Comarca, + Der is shtorm all in de air, +Dy Gotts vill gife dee vork, mein Sohn, + Hans Breitmann shall be dere!" + +For a yar will nod be ofer + Pefore de Frantsch will run, +Und de game at last be ented, + Und Italy pe won. +Und denn in roarin battle, + For hishtory so grand, +Dy banner'll lead de Uhlan spears, + All in de Frankenland. + +----- + + Nota bene. - Dis boem was all written in 1869, pefore de +wars; und all de dings prophezeit in it coomed to bass. Herein der +Herr Breitmann abbears ash a Seher or Prophet so crate as de cratest +ash nefer vas. Der crate ardist, Mishter W. W. Story, for whom dis +lied vas written, can proof all dis. + FRITZ SCHWACKENHAMMER. + [Redaktor.] + +LA SCALA SANTA. + +"Robusti sono i fatti." +- Discorso del Terremoto, + del S. Alessandro Sardo. + Venetia, A.D. 1586. + +IN San Gianni Lateran, + Dey've cot a flight of shdairs, +More woonderful ash nefer vas, + As Latin pooks declares. +For you kits your sins forgifen, + If you glimes dem knee py knee; +It's such a gitten up a stairs, + I nefer yet did see. + +Now as Breitmann vas a vaitin + Among some demi reps, +Ascensionem expectans, + To see dem glime de steps, +Dere came a sinful scoffer, + Who his mind had firmly set +To go dem holy sdairs afoot, + Und do it on a bet! + +Boot shoost as he vas startet, + To make dis sassy go, +Der Breitmann caught him py de neck, + Und tripped him off his toe! +Und den dere come de skience, + A la prenez gardez vous; +For he bung his eye and bust his shell, + Und shplit his noshe in dwo. + +De briests vere so astonish, + To see him lam de man, +Dat dey shvore a holy miracle + Vas vork by Breitemann. +Says Breitmann, "I'm a heretic, + But dis you may pe bound, +No chap shall mock relishious dings + Vhile I'm a bummin round. + +"Und you owes me really noding, + For as I'll plainly show, +At last I've found out someding + Vot I alfays vant to know. +Und now dat I have found it, + In de newspapers I'll brag: +Evviva! Ho trovato, + Vot means a Scala-Wag."[68] + + +BREITMANN INTERVIEWS THE POPE. + +"Altri beva il Falerno, altri la Tolfa. +. . . . . . . . + +Toscana re, dite +Pra ch'io parli dite." + - Bacco in Toscano, + di Francisco Redi. + +"Si regressum feci metro +Retro ante, ante retro- +Quid si graves sunt acuti? +Si accentus fiant muti? +Quid si placide, plene, plane +Fregi frontem Prisciani?- +Sat est Verbum declinavi +Titubo-titubas-titubavi." + - Barnabae Itinerarium. London, 1716. + +VON efenin ash der Breitmann vent from his weinhaus vinkin, +So peepy mit Falernian vitch he vas starkly trinkin, +He found his hut and goat was gone, - dey'd dook em oud for dryin,- +Und in deir blace a priester hut und priester mantel lyin. + +Der Breitmann poot de triangel oopon his het, and whistled, +Den rop de cloak around his form, and down de Corso mizzled. +De beoples gazed mit staunischment as bey dem he go vheelin, +He look ganz oltra tramontane, so twisty vas his reelin. + +Next tay in Vaticano, while he shtared at frescoes o'er him, +Hans toorned und mit amazemend saw der Pabst vas shoost pefore him! +Down on his knees der Breitmann vent - for so de law it teaches; +He proke two holes in de bavement - und likevise shblit + his preeches. + +"Ego video," says de Bope - "tu es antistes ex Almania, +Est una mala gente et corrupta con insania, +Un fons hereticorum et malorum tut terrible, +Perche non vultis che ego - il Papa - sei infallibile." + +"Sit verbo venia," said Hans, "permitte, Sancte Pater, +Num verum est ut noster rum gemixta est mit water? +In coelis wo die gotter live, non semper est sereno, +Nor de wein ash goot ash decet in each spaccio di vino. + +"Sunt mihi multi fratres qui si denkunt ut dicisti, +Ego kickerem illos, valide, per sanguine de Christi! +In nostro monasterio si habemus nostrum rentum +Contra infallibilita non curamus rubrum centrum.[69] + +"Viginti nostrorum nuper convenere, +In quondam capitulo, simul et dixere; +Papa vult Concilium in Romam tenere, +Quid debemus super hoc ipsi respondere?"[70] + +Et dixit noster presul, "Es ist mir omnis unus, +Si Papa est infallibilis, tanquam non sum jejunus, +Si nonus est Pius aut Pius est Nonus- +Diabolis curat. Non accipio dieser onus. + +"Si possum me jacere circum vitrum Rhenovini[71] +Es ist mir wurst si Papa est originis divini: +Deus se fecit olim homo, et nahm dis irds'che Leben,[72] +Et nunc Papa noster will sich selbst zum Gott erheben. + +"Ita dixit Breitmann et sanctus Pater respondit: +Me piace semper intendere tutto cio che l'on dit, +Sed tu dic mihi la sua ragione: +Tu non homo natus es, solus mangiar maccheroni. + +"Tonitrus et cespes!" dixit Johanes Breitmann. +"Si veritatem cupies, tunc ego sum der right man; +Percute semper ferrum dum caldum est et malleable, +Nunc est tuum tempus te facere infallible. + +"In nostra America quum Praeses decet abire, +Die ultimo fecit omne quod posset imaginire. +Appointet ambasciatores et post-magistros, +Consules et alios, per dextros et sinistros. + +"Quum Rex Bomba ista Neapolit-anus, +Compulsus fuit to shin it - ut dixit Africanus- +Fecit ultimo die ducos et countos, vanus. +(Inter alios M'Closkey, tuus Hibernicus chanberlanus.)[73] + +"Et quia tu es; ut credo; ultimus Poporum, +Facis bene devenire, quod dicitur High Cockalorum- +Sei magnissimus toad in the puddle, ite caput, magnamente; +Et ERITIS SICUT DEUS, nemine contradicente! + +"Unus error solus, Sancte Pater commisisti. +Quia primus infallible non te proclamavisti, +Nam nemo audet dicere: Papa fecit quod non est bonus. +Decet semper jactare super alios probandi onus. + +'Conceptio Immaculata, hoc modo fixisti, +Et nemo audet dicere unum verbum, de isti: +Non vides si infallibilis es, et vultis es exdare,[74] +Non alius sed tu solus hanc debet proclamare." + +"Figlio mio," dixit Papa; "Tu es homo mirabilis, +Tua verba sunt mi dulcior quam ostriche cum Chablis +In tutta Roma, de Alemania gente, +Non ho visto uno con si grande mente. + +"Vero benedetto es - eris benedictus, +Tibi mitterem photographiam in quo sum depictus. +Tu comprendes situatio - il punto et gravamen. +Sunt pauci clerici ut te. Nunc dico tibi. - Amen!" + + +THE FIRST EDITION OF BREITMANN. +SHOWING HOW AND WHY IT WAS THAT IT NEVER APPEARED. + +"Uns ist in alten Maeren + wunders viel geseit +Von Helden lobebaeren, + von grosser Arebeit. +Von Festen und Hochzeiten, + von Weinen und Klagen, +Von kuehnen Recken Streiten, + moht Ihr nun Wunder horen sagen." + - Der Nibelungen Lied. + +DO oos, in anciend shdory, + Crate voonders ish peen told +Of lapors fool of glory, + Of heroes bluff und bold; +Of high oldt times a-kitin, + Of howlin und of tears, +Of kissin and of vightin, + All dis we likes to hears. + +Dere growed once dimes in Schwaben, + Since fifty years pegan, +An shild of decend elders, + His name Hans Breitemann. +De gross adfentures dat he had, + If you will only look, +Ish all bescribed so truly + In dis fore-lyin book. + +Und allaweil dese lieder + Vere goin troo his het, +De writer lay von Sonntay + a-shleepin in his bett; +Vhen, lo! a yellow bigeon + Coom to him in a dream, +De same dat Mr. Barnum + Vonce had in his Museum. + +Und dus out-shprach de bigeon: + "If you should brint de songs +Or oder dings of Breitmann + Vhich to dem on-belongs, +Dey will tread de road of Sturm and Drang, + Die wile es mohte leben,[75] +Und be mis-geborn in pattle- + To dis fate ish it ergeben." + +Und dus rebly de dreamer: + "If on de ice it shlip, +Denn led id dake ids shanses, + Rip Sam, und let 'er rip! +Dou say'st id vill pe sturmy: + Vot sturmy ish, ish crand, +Crates heroes ish de beoples + In Uncle Samuel's land. + +"Du bist ein rechter Gelbschnabel,[76] + O golden bigeon mine, +Und I'll fighdt id on dis summer, + If id dakes me all dis line. +Full liddle ish de discount, + Oopon de Yankee peeps." +"Go to hell!" exglaim de bigeon; + Foreby vas all mine shleeps. + +Dere vent to Sout Carolina + A shentleman who dinked,[77] +Dat te pallads of der Breitmann + Should papered pe und inked. +Und dat he vouldt fixed de brintin + Before de writer know: +Dis make to many a brinter, + Fool many a bitter woe. + +All in de down of Charleston, + A druckerei he found, +Where dey cut de copy into takes + Und sorted it around. +Und all vas goot peginnen, + For no man heeded mooch. +Dat half de jours vas Mericans + Und half of dem vas Dutch. + +Und vorser shtill, anoder half + Had vorn de Federal plue, +Vhile de anti-half in Davis grey + Had peen Confeterates true. +Great Himmel! vot a shindy + Vas shdarted in de crowd, +Vhen some von read Hans Breitmann, + His Barty all aloud! + +Und von goot-nadured Yankee, + He schwear id vos a shame, +To dell soosh lies on Dutchmen, + Und make of dem a game. +Boot dis make mad Fritz Luder, + Und he schwear dis treat of Hans, +Vos shoost so goot a barty + Ash any oder man's. + +Und dat nodings vas so looscious + In all dis eartly shpeer, +Ash a quart mug fool of sauer-kraut, + Mit a plate of lager-bier. +Dat de Yankee might pe tam mit himself, + For he, der Fritz, hafe peen, +In many soosh a barty + Und all dose dings hafe seen. + +All mad oopsproong de Yankee, + Mit all his passion ripe; +Und vired at Fritz mit de shootin-shtick, + Vheremit he vas fixin type. +It hit him on de occupit, + Und laid him on de floor; +For many a long day afder + I ween his het was sore. + +Dis roused Piet Weiser der Pfaelzer, + Who vas quick to act und dink; +He helt in hand a roller + Vheremit he vas rollin ink. +Und he dake his broof py shtrikin + Der Merican top of his het, +Und make soosh a vine impression, + Dat he left de veller for deat. + +Allaweil dese dings oonfolded, + Dere vas rows of anoder kind, +Und drople in de wigwam + Enough to trife dem plind. +Und a crate six-vooted Soudern man + Vot hafe vorked on a Refiew, +Shvear he hope to Gott he mighd pie de forms + If de Breitmann's book warn't true. + +For de Sout' vas ploundered derriple, + Und in dat darksome hour +He hafe lossed a yallow-pine maiden, + Of all de land de vlower. +Bright gold doublones a hoondered + For her he'd gladly bay +Ash soon ash a thrip for a ginger-cake, + Und deem it cheap dat day. + +To him antworded a Yorker + Who shoomp den dimes de boun-ti-ee: +(De only dings he lossed in de war + Was a sense of broperty.) +Says he, "Votefer you hafe dropped + Some oder shap hafe get, +Und de yallow-pine liked him petter ash you, + On dat it is safe to bet!" + +Dead pale pecame dat Soudern brave, + He tidn't so moosh as yell, +Boot he drop right on to de Yorker, + Und mit von lick bust his shell. +Denn out he flashed his pig-sticker, + Und mit looks of drementous gloom, +Rooshed vildly in de pattle + Dat vas ragin round de room. + +Boot in angulo, in de corner- + Anoder quarrel vas grow +'Twix a Boston shap mit a Londoner; + Und de row ish gekommen so: +De Yankee say dat de H-u-mor + Of soosh writin vas less dan small, +Dough it maket de beoples laughen, + Boot dat vas only all. + +Denn a Deutscher say, by Donner! + Dat soosh a baradox +Vould leafe no hope for writers + In all Pandora's baender box. +'Twas like de sayin dat Heine + Hafe no witz in him goot or bad, +Boot he only kept sayin witty dings + To make beoples pelieve he had. + +Denn de oder veller be-headed + Dat dere vas not a shbark of foon +In de pad spelt lieds when you lead dem + Into Englisch correctly done:- +Den a Proof Sheet veller respondered, + For he dink de dings vas hard, +"Dat ish shoost like de goot oldt lady + Ash vent to hear Artemus Ward. + +"Und say it vas shames de beoples + Vas laugh demselfs most tead +At de boor young veller lecturin, + Vhen he tidn't know vot he said." +Hereauf de Yankee answered, + "Gaul dern it:- Shtop your fuss!" +And all de crowd togeder + Go slap in a grand plug-muss. + +De Yankee shlog de Proof Sheet + Soosh an awfool smock on de face, +Dat he shvell right oop like a poonkin + Mit a sense of his tisgrace; +Boot der Deutscher boosted an ink-keg + On dop of de oder's hair: +It vly troo de air like a boomshell - denn- + Mine Gotts! - Vot a sighdt vas dere! + +Denn ofer all de shapel + Vierce war vas ragin loose; +Fool many a vighten brinter + Got well ge-gooked his goose. +Fool many a nose mit fisten, + I ween was padly scrouged; +Fool many an eye pright gleamin + Vas ploody out-gegouged. + +Do wart ufgehouwen,[78] + Dere vas hewin off of pones; +Do horte man darinne + Man heardt soosh treadful croans. +Jach waren da die Geste, + De row vas rough and tough, +Genuoge sluogen wunden- + Dere vas plooty wounds enough. + +De souls of anciend brinters + From Himmel look down oopon, +Und allowed dat in a chapel + Dere was nefer soosh carryins on. +Dere was Lorenz Coster mit Gutemberg, + Und Scheffer mit der Fust, +Und Sweynheim mit Pannartz trop deers, + Oopon dis teufel's dust. + +Dere vas Yankee jours extincted + Who lay upon de vloor, +Dere vas Soudern rebs destructed, + Who vouldt nefer Jeff no more. +Ash deir souls rise oop to Heafen, + Dey heardt de oldt brinters' calls, +Und Gutemberg gifed dem all a kick + Ash he histed dem ofer de walls. + +Dat ish de vay dese Ballads + Foorst vere crooshed in ploot and shdorm, +Fool many a day moost bass afay + Pefore dey dook dis form. +De copy flootered o'er de preasts + Of heroes lyin todt, +Dis vas de dire peginnin- + Das war des Breitmann's Noth. + +Dis song in Philadelphia + Long dimes ago pegun, +In Paris vas gondinued, und + In Dresden ist full-done. +If any toubt apout de facts, + In nople minds ish grew, +Let dem ashk Carl Benson Bristed, + He knows id all ish drue. + +Und now, dese Breitmann shdories + In gebrindt in many a lant, +Sogar in far Australia + Dey're gestohlen und bekannt:- +"Geh hin mein Puch in alle VVelt + Steh auss was dir kompt zu! +Man beysse Dich, man reysse Dich + Nur dass man mir nichts thu!"[79] + + +BREITMANN'S LAST BALLADS. + +BREITMANN IN TURKEY. + +DERR BREITMANN hear im Turkenreich + Vas fighten high und low, +"Steh auf, oh Schwackenhammer mein! + It's dime for us to go. +Zieh dein Kanonenstiefel an, + Und schleife Dir das Schwert, +Schon lang her han mer nichts gethan, + Der Weg ist reitenswerth."[80] + +"Oopon vitch side? I hartly know + Boot von side in dis war: +Dere ist de holy Russ-land + All mit a holy Tsar; +But I pe not a holy-er, + Nor you von Saint, I fear; +Out line is holy ploonder, + Mit sacred Lager-bier. + +"Dere's von Constantinoble-man + Vot write to me, und say +He kits me an commission + To make me Breitmann Bey, +Und if I mounts de turpan + Und keeps de Muslin law, +Und bribes ein wenig, den I rise + To Breitemann Pasha. + +"Dis much is drue, dat Toorkey is + A real Powder land, +Und if dey're goin' to touch it off, + Vy, ve moost pe on hand. +Und if ve shpring into de airs + Vhile meddlin' in de fuss, +I rader dink some Russian bears + Vill shpring along mit us." + +Und ven he kit to Turkreich + Der Breitmann work like mad, +Und kit ein corps togeder,- + Mein Gott! vat men he had! +Mit Polers und mit Shipsies, + Ungaren, Turks, und such, +Und allerlei Gesindel. "Hei!" + Says Hans: "dis beats de Dutch!" + +Den onwards to his Schicksal[81] + Und forvarts troo de night, +Und oopwarts to his mission, + Und downvarts in de vight. +Until in de Bulgaren + Von night his horse he strode, +Und meet a tausand Kossacks + Pefore him on de road. + +Slap forward rode der Breitmann + Right on de Kossack spears, +But forvarts coom deir leader + And halted his careers, +Und gry, "O Turkisch Ritter, + I am de Capitan, +And if you want a shindy, + Step up, and I'm your man." + +Dey fightet like der teufel, + Dey fightet mit deir swords, +Und Breitmann vould hafe kilt him, + But 'twas not on de cards, +For de Kossack fire a bistol + As his retreadt pegan,- +Down from his horse all senseless + Flop! went der Breitemann. + +Vhen he hafe kit his senses, + Der Breitmann find he lay +Insite a nople castell, + Upon a canape; +Und py his side a lady + So wunderschon to see, +Vas shlisin oop a lemon + Indo a cop of thee. + +Den to himself say Breitmann, + Aldough he hold his jaw, +"Dis is de vinest womans, + Py Gott! I efer saw. +Vot lofeliness! vot muscle! + Mit efery himmlisch charm! +She measures twenty inches, + Bei Donner! roundt de arm." + +De lady see his glances + So noble und so game, +Und yust as he reflected + She dink of him de same, +Und she say, "Wie gehts?" in English, + "Du galiant cavalier, +Who art pecome de captive + All of my bow und spear. + +"I am a gal dis mornin', + Yestreen I vas a knight, +Old hoss - you nearly smashedme, + I guess, in that small fight; +And if I hadn't shot you + I think I should have ran." +"Gottshimmel mit Potzbomben! + Egsclaim der Breitemann. + +"But say, O nople lady, + Vot got you in dot set +Of plackgards - vilt dou dell me?" + De dame rebly: "You bet! +My father came from Boston, + And when this war began +He got a splendid contract, + All with the Russi-an, + +"To sell the army shoe-strings; + But I have read of fights, +And I dream of war and glory, + For I go for women's rights; +Then I read a book of poems + Which fairly turned my head, +The ballads of Hans Breitmann"-- + "Oh --- ho!" Hans Breitmann said. + +"And as I think the Breitmann + Must be the greatest man +Who ever went a-fighting + Since History began, +I dressed me like a soldier, + For I am stark of limb; +With Breitmann for a model, + And try to act like him. + +"Oh, tell me, noble captive, + While rolling in this storm +Which men call life, hast ever + Beheld Hans Breitmann's form? +Oh, could I once embrace him, + And gaze into his eye, +And feel his arms around me, + Then I would gladly die. + +"He is the man of mortals, + The Odin of them all, +A higher Incarnation, + The 'Menschheitsideal,'[82] +A being made to worship, + To me an earthly Gott"-- +"Py shings!" exglaim Hans Breitmann, + "Dis ding is gettin hot! + +"O laity! - nople gountess! + Dis man of whom you dink +Ish lyin' here pefore you, + Half tead for want of trink, +Likewise for lofe of you, too, + Done up mit lofe and durst, +Und mit de two togeder, + I don't know vitch is vorst. + +"And dou canst safe dy hero + From bitter Todespein, +If dou hast in de Keller + Only one Fass of wein. +Nay, doubt not - in my pocket + Is dot vitch brofes de man, +My bassport, und drei tavern bills + Against der Breitemann." + +De laity she emprace him + Oontil he nearly bust. +"Potz-blitz!" gasp out der Breitmann, + "She is a squeezer - yust!" +De dame she vas vealty, + Likewise an orphan too, +Mit a castel und a titel, + So Breitmann put it troo. + +So soon the paar vere marrit,- + Hei! vot a dimes dey had! +Hei! how dey life togeder + So clorious und clad! +Now he has cot a titel + Dot was a Capitan; +Hier hat de tale ein Ende + Of Herr Count Breitemann. + + +COBUS HAGELSTEIN. + +ICH bin ein Deutscher, und mein name is Cobus Hagelstein,[83] +I coom from Cincinnati, and I life peyond der Rhein; +Und I dells you all a shdory dot makes me mad ash blitz, +Pout how a Yankee gompany vas shvindle me to fits. + +I heardt apout dis gompany, und vished to see dot same, +Das Lebensfeuerversicherunggesellschaft vos ids name; +Dot is de name in Sherman - in English it will say +Dot it insures your life mit fire, ven you de money pay. + +Now, I hod a liddle house-line vhere I life so shtill ash mice, +Und yoost drei tausand dollar vos dot little pilding's brice; +I vos always yoost so happy ash ein Kaisar in de land +Dill at last I kit in drople, for mein haus vas abgebrannt. + +Den I goes undo dot gompany und dells em right afay +(Das Lebensfeuerversicherunggesellschaft), und I say, +"At last de youngest day ist coom for you to plank de cash, +And you moost bay me monies, for mine haus is purned to ash." + +Den de segredary answered, "All dis is fery drue, +Boot you know ve have de option to pild your house anew; +Dere ist a lot of beoples vot burns deir hauser doun, +Den coom to kit de money pack all over in de toun." + +I look indo de bapers und I find it ash he say, +Das Lebensfeuerversicherunggesellschaft need not bay; +So I dells em all to go ahet und pild anoder shdore, +Und dey make me von in Yankee shdyle more petter ash pefore. + +Den I met der segredary dereafter on a day, +Of Das Lebensfeuerversicherunggesellschaft, und he say, +"You've found oos vellers honoraple und honest in our line, +Vy tont you go insure de life of Madame Hagelstein?" + +I poots mine dum oopon mine nose, and vinks him mit mine eye, +Und says I cooms to do it ven de ocean runs dry, +Ven gooses turn to ganders, und de bigs kits shanged to shvine; +Oh, den I makes insure de life of Madame Hagelstein. + +"I haf dried you on insurance, ash you know, yust vonce pefore, +Und ven mein haus vas abgebrannt you pild anoder shdore; +Id's drue you pild it goot enough, boot I dell you allaweil, +I vas liket id moosh petter if it vas in Sharman shdyle. + +"Now, if I goes insure my wife anoder dime mit you +Das Lebensfeuerversicherunggesellschaft, I knows vot it would do,- +If from dis vorldt Frau Hagelstein should rise to Himmel life, +Inshtead of paying gelt you'd kit for me a Yankee vife!" + +I poots mine dum pelow mine eye, und vinks him merrily, +Und say, "Go find soom Deutscherman dot is more creen ash me. +Dere's blendy of dem creen enough, I know, peyond der Rhein, +But none among dem wears de name of Cobus Hagelstein." + + +FRITZERL SCHNALL. + +A BALLAD. + +ASH on de Alapama biz, + Deep sinnin long I sat, +I dinks von ding for dinkin + Py afery Diplomat; +Und dat ist: dat voll many a ding + Vot ist de facto done, +May pe de jure unbossible, + Und officiel unknown, + +Von dimes in San Franciscus, + Im Californian land, +Among de Californaments + Dere woned a Deutscher band; +Und shief among dese heroes + Dere shone Herr Fritzerl Schnall, +Who nefer vouldt pelief in nichts + Dat vas not logical. + +Vell den: von tay as Fritzerl + Vas valk Dolores Shtreet, +Mein Gott! how he vas over-rush +Ein gut oldt friendt to meet; +Hans Liederschnitz aus Augsburg, + Vot professed in Bayrisch bier- +"Gottskreuz! du alter Schlingel!" + Cried Fritz: "Was mochst du hier?" + +Now in des dimes I scribe of, + Dree ways der vere bakannt, +Und only dree, to get to + Das Californigen Landt. +De virst de Plains coom ofer; + De next, de Istmoos troo; +De dird aroundt Cape Horne, + All ofer de ocean plue. + +But de first lot of surveyors + For de railroad overland, +Vas seek a new vay northwarts, + All for de Eisenbahn, +Und mit dem, der professor + Of Lager vent along; +So he kommed to San Franciscus, + Und den into dis song. + +But ash unto Herr Fritzerl + Dis news vas unerheard, +He couldt not know de tidings + Wherevon he had no vord; +Und derefore dis here quesdion + He makes to Hans: "Old hoss, +I kess de vay you kit hier, + You kommed de Blains agross?" + +"Nein, nein," sayt Liederschnitzerl; + "I komm not ash you say." +"Vell, den," antworded Fritzerl, + "It pe's anoder vay. +If you komm de Blains not uber, + I see vot you hafe do: +You make an longer um-way + Und gross de Istmoos troo." + +"Nein, nein," acain saidt Schnitzerl, + "Dat road I nefer know, +Und vas not ride de Istmoose!" + Cried Fritz, erstaunisched, "SO +You komm de Blains not uber, + Nor gross de Istmoose troo? +Vell, den - to make de Horn aroundt + Vas all dat you could do!" + +"I shvears py Gott!" says Schnitzerl, + "So sure as you vas porn, +Exshept oopon some ochsen + I nefer saw a horn. +Dat ish - mitwiles, too - while-en-- + I hafe von in mine hand, +Und trink to dy Gesundheit, + Im lieben Vaterland." + +Erstaunished stoot der Fritzerl: + No wort herout brought he: +Und sinned, und sinned - den sighftserd. + "Potz blitz! how vash dis pe?" +Ontill a light from Himmel + Vlash down into him shtraight, +Ash Heafen in Yacob Bohme + Vlash from a bewter blate. + +Den laut he cry, eye-shbarklin, + Ash droonk mit Truth tifine, +Like der Wahrheitseher Novalis: + "Herr Gott! es leuch't mir ein! +If you komm de Blains not over, + Nor py Horn, nor py canal, +Den I shwears you dis, Hans Schnitzerl, + Du bist not here at all!" + +MORAL. + +Go in for Wahrheit, + Und for Pure Reason seek; +If it land you in a pog-hole, + Den die dere - like a brick! +Gott brosber all logikers, + Und pless deir nople breed; +Und so ist komm zu ende + Dis Breitmanns letzte Lied. + + +THE GYPSY LOVER. + +DOT vos a schwartz Zigeuner[84] + Dot on a viddle played, +Und oonderneat' a fenster + He mak't a serenade. + +Dot vos a lofely gountess + Who heardt de gypsy blay'n. +Said she, "Who make dot musik + Vot sound so wunderscheen?" + +Dot vos de schwartz Zigainer + Who vos fery quick to twig; +Und he song a mournvoll pallad + How his hearts vos proken - big! + +Dot vos de lofely gountess + Said, "Dell me who you are?" +He saidt, "Mein name is Janosch, + De Lord of Temesvar." + +Dot vos de lofely gountess + Said, "Come more near to me, +I vants to dalk on piz'ness: + I'll trow you down de key." + +Dot vos de moon kept lightin' + De gountess in her room, +Boot somedings moost have vrighten + De minstrel tid not coom. + +Dot vos a treadfool oudgry + Ven early in de morn +Dey foundt de hens vos missin, + Und all de wash vos gone! + +Dot vos a schwartz Zigeuner + Vot sot oopon de dirt +A-eatin roasted schickens + All in a new glean shirt. + + +DORNENLIEDER. + +I. + +FOR efery Rose dot ploome in spring, + Dey say an maid is porn; +For efery pain dot Rose vill make + Dey say dere comes a dorn. +Boot let dem say yoost vot dey will, + Dis ding I will soopose, +I'll immer prick mein finger still, + If I may pfluck die Ros'. + Ach, Rosalein, du schone mein,[85] + Dot man vas nefer born + Vot did deserfe to win de Rose, + Vot couldt not stand de Dorn. + +Blutfarbig ist die schone Ros',[86] + Und dot ist yoost a sign +Dot I moost lose a liddle Blut + To make de Rose mein. +Wer Rosen bricht die Finger sticht; + Das ist mir ganz egal, +Der bricht sie auch in Winter nicht, + Und kits no Rose at all. +Was wir hier treiben und kosen, love, + De joy or misery, +Soll bleiben unter der Rosen, love! + Und our own secret pe![87] + +II. + +Von Dorn ride out in hoonting gear, +Mit his horse und his Hunde too, +Und his mutter she say, +"Bring home a deer, +Mein Sohn, votefer you do!" +"You know, gewiss, dot I nefer miss, +Und ven you hear mine horn, +Pe sure dot a deer is comin' here," +Said der Ritter Veit von Dorn, + Mit his deer so fein, tra la la la! + Mit his deer so fine, tra le! + Tra la la - tra la la la! + Tra la la - la la le! + +Von Dorn he ridet im greenen wood + Till dere, peneat a dree, +He sah a maid wie Milch und Blut. + As fair ash a maid could pe. +Und der Ritter he spies her great plack eyes, + "Id's petter, I'll pe shwore, +To hafe a dear oopon two feet + Dan von dot roons on four. + Mit a deer so fein, tra la la la! + Mit a deer so fine, tra le! + Tra la la - tra la la la! + Tra la la - la de le! + +Der Ritter ridet pack to home: + "Ach, mutter - all ist goot; +I prings you here de finest dear + In all de greene woot." +De mutter she looks, mit joy surprise, + "Hast Recht, mein lieber Sohn;[88] +Dere vas nefer a deer vot hafe soosh eyes + Ash de dear vot you hafe won!" + Mit her eyes so plack, tra la, la la! + Mit her eyes so plack, tra le! + Tra, la, la - tra la, la, la! + Tra la la - la de le! + +Nota bene. - Dis song moost pe sung mit exbression. + - FRITZ SCHWACKENHAMMER + [Redaktor]. + + +BREITMANN'S SLEIGH-RIDE. + +VEN de winter make oos shifer + Und de bonds is froze mit ice, +To shlide und shkate on de rifer, + Mit de poys und gals is nice. +Ven de horses hafe deir bits on, + Und de roats pe vite mit shnow, +To vly in a sleigh like blitzen + Is de yolliest dings I know. + +"Und its high, hooray!" saidt Breitmann + "For de gals on de Dutchtown-side; +Und it's lebe hoch! for de yunglins, + Vot'll go mit de gals to ride; +Und it's hip, herje! for de drifers + Vot nefer dake no odds! +Und it's vivat! for de vellers, + Vot'll shtand de apple-tods!" + +Der Breitmann pooled his mits on, + Der Breitmann crocked his vip, +"Now its fly like dunner blitzen, + Mein shildren, let 'er rip! +Like de eagles on de shtorm-cloudt + A-vlyin' to deir nest; +Dere is opple-yack a-vaitin + For de von dot times de rest. + +"Oh mein Rapp, du bist de pestest + Of horses in de land! +Dou canst trafel on de grafel, + Und canst shell it on de sand! +Oh Rapp! - dere's money on id, + Ton't let de Gelt go blue! +I vants you show de beoples + Dis tay vot you can do!" + +Der Breitman mit his madchen + Vas in a shblentit shleigh, +Fritz Laufer mit his Mina, + Vas yoosht agross de vay; +Mit pop-slets und mit yoompers, + Mit horses and mit mules, +Dere vas more ash vifty fellers + Come mit deir ve-hi-cules. + +Id's "Ein-Zwei-Drei!" togedder + Dey hollered klein und gross, +Like de wind in shtormy wetter, + Stracks vent de Deutschers los! +Dey crock de vips like mooskets, + Dey ring from berg to berg, +"Hooray!" exsglaim Hans Breitmann: + "Dot sounds like Gettysburg!" + +Der Breitmann und der Laufer + Vere half a mile ahet, +For ven id coom to driven, + De oder Dootch vere deadt. +Dey vly like teufel's arrows, + Mit imps oopon em gay, +Dey killt five hoondred shbarrows + Vot kit indo de vay. + +Dey vly like rats und blitzen, + De fery gals vos doomb, +Und Breitmann kept his wits on, + To see vot shanse vouldt coom; +He know'd de pace dey clipped it + Moost enden in a shquall +By de vay der Laufer ripped it, + Und de shteeds vere ganz egal. + +Der Laufer he vos leadin' + Hans Breitmann ash he goed, +Boot he tidn't see a soplin' + Dot vos lyin' in de road. +Id yank dem out like marples, + Mitout a will or shall; +Hets downvarts in a shnow-pank, + Vent Laufer mit his gal. + +Und ash Breitmann comed oonto it + Id kit indo his vay, +Und tossed him mit his madchen + Right indo Laufer's shleigh; +Hans crab de reins like blitze', + Und go ahet like sin: +"Adje, mein lieber Fritze![89] + Dis dimes I scoop you in!" + +He vly avay like shvallows + To vhere a davern lay, +Vhere de opple-tod vos ploomin' + Among de Deutschers gay. +Der Breitmann as he vonisht + Yoost cast von look pehind, +At de lecks of Fritz - und Mina- + A-vafin in de wind. + +Homburg vor der Hohe, Hesse-Nassau, + September 1, 1888. + + +THE MAGIC SHOES. + +IT was stiller, dimmer twilight - amber toornin' into gold, +Like young maidens' hairs get yellow und more dark as dey crow old; +Und dere shtood a high ruine vhere de Donau rooshed along, +All lofely, yet neclected - like an oldt und silent song. + +Out shpoke der Ritter Breitmann, "Ven I hafe not forgot, +Ich kenn an anciendt shtory of dis inderesdin shpot, +Of the Deutscher Middleolter vot de Minnesingers sung, +Ven dot olt ruine oben vas a-bloomin, fair, und yung. + +"Vonce dere lifed a noble fraulein - fery peautiful vas she, +More ash twendy dimes goot lookin - it is in de historie; +Und mit more ash forty quarters on her woppenshield,[90] dot men +Might beholdt mitout a discount she vas of de upper ten. + +"But dough lofely as an angel, mit eyes of turkos plue, +She vas cruel ash a teufel, und de vorst man efer knew. +Vonce ven a nople young one kneeled down to her mit lofe, +She kicket him mit her slipper und oopset him on de shtove. + +"Und said, 'I do refuse you, as you may plainly see; +Und from dis day henseforvart mine refuse you shall pe, +Und when I do run afder you like dogs run afder men, +Den I vill pe your vife, yung man - boot keep avay dill denn!' + +"He lishten to her crimly, and no single vort he said, +Boot de bitter dings she spoken poot der teufel in his head; +For she hafe not learned de visdom, vich is alvays safe and sound, +'Don't go to pourin' water on a mouse ven id ist trowned.' + +"Vonce, at de end of autoom, ven de vind vos bitter cold, +Dis maiden out a-ridin' met a voman poor and old; +Her feets vere bare and pleedin', and she said, 'Ah! ton't refuse +To gife me, nople lady, yoosht de vorst of your oldt shoes!' + +"De lady boorst out laughin', 'Fool here, or fool me dere, +You give to me a couple, I gives to you a pair.' +Denn she rode avay a-laughin'; de old voman says 'I wete, +I'll give you shoes, my lady, dot vill fit your soul and feet!' + +"Dis voman vas a vitche, an bitter one dere to, +All dot vot she had shpoken she light enough could do; +De Ritter did not know it, but he told her of his love, +And how dot shkornful lady hat oopset him mit de shtove. + +"Out spoke de grimme witche, 'She shall pay dee well to boot, +If yo pring to me de measure of dat lady's liddle foot.' +He got it from her shoemaker, and gafe id to de vitch, +Denn she gafe it to de damsel pooty soon as hot as pitch. + +"Von morn de lofely lady, on openin' her toor, +Found de nicest pair of gaiter boots she efer saw pefore; +Dey vitted her exoctly - mitouten any doubt- +Boot, mein Gott! how she vas shrocken ven dey 'gun to valk apout! + +"Und ash de poots go valkin', like de buds go mit de stem, +It vollowed dot de lady had to valk apout in dem. +Dey took her out into de street - dey run her on de road, +Bym-by she saw a man ahead vot led her vhere she goed. + +"Vhen he vent valkin' longsome denn longsome vas her pace, +Vhen he roon like a greyhound she skompered in a race; +He led her o'er de moundains und cross de lonely plain, +Until de evenin' shadows, ven he took her home again. + +"Denn she dink mit hate and fury of dis man she used to skoff, +Und den go at de gaiters - boot she couldn't pull dem off, +She vork mit all de servants, boot 'tvasent any use, +Und so she hafe to go to bett - a-shleepin' in her shoes. + +"Next mornin' off dey shtarted, apout de broke of day, +Den he led her to a castle in de woods and far away, +And shpeak to her, 'My lady - I dink at last you see +Dat de dime has come in earnesdt vhen you've cot to vollow me!' + +"Oh vat ish female nature? Oh vat ish mortal pride? +How all dot shtands de firmest most quickly shlips aside +De cloudts dot o'er de moundains look shkornful at de plain, +Ere long mit shtormy wetter come toomble down in rain. + +"So de storm-cloud of Superbia vhich shweep her soul above, +Vas meltet mit his shternness and be-turned into love, +As his words like donner wetter croshed ven de lightnin' flies, +So downward coom de torrents of dear trops from her eyes. + +"Und she gry, 'Mit shame I own it, to say de fery least, +I gonfess dat in dis matter I hafe acted like a peast; +Ven I made of you my refuse, I dinked it no account, +But now de pack is on my back it seems a big amount. + +"'But if you vish to ved me, I vill do vat you require. +He answered, 'Now you're talkin' - dot is yoost vot I tesire, +For I am very willin', and you do not refuse, +Boot remember vot you bromised - send de vitch a pair of shoes!' + +"She answered, 'I vill follow verever you may go, +All ofer hills and falleys, in sunshine, rain, or schnow, +All over in der Welt, dear, I'll vander on vith thee, +I do not care how rough de road or dark de path may be! + +"'Or in de bloomin' meadows, vhere de grass is soft and sweet, +Or in de rocky passes, vhere de stones are under veet, +Or if I vear de shoes, love, vitch you hafe given me, +Or if I moost go barefoot, is all de same to me.' + +"He drew away de gaiters. She said, 'As I'm rich +I vill fill dem both mit money, and take dem to de vitch.' +Ja wohl, she saw die Hexe, and takin' her aside, +She danked her for de lesson vot hat dook avay her pride. + +"On de vay vhen dey vere married, how vere dey all erstaun +To see a lofely lady come in mit golden crown, +All in a rosy-silken dress vot shined as pright as glass, +Said, 'My dears, I am de vitch dot fetch dis ding to pass. + +"'You know I look so ogly vonce, und now am peautiful, +Dot ist de vay dot all dings vork ven folks pe dutiful. +Ash de lily toorns to vhitey vot once vas dirty green, +So all ist fair ven virdue ist runnin' de machine.'" + +Dis is de vondrous shtory vot de Ritter Breitmann told +Besides the rooshin' Danube of de schloss so grey und old, +Vhile a shmokin' of his meerschaum; und till all time pe gone +The rustlin' of de vasser tells de tale for ever on. + +Dat is an alt legende, und yet 'tis efer new, +Und to efery von dot hears it it fits yoost like a shoe. +Und dis de shinin' moral dot in de oyster lies- +Some day you may roon after de dings you vonce despise! + +Vienna, 1888. + + +Glossary + +THIS Glossary was prepared entirely by Mr. NICHOLAS TRUBNER. I +am not aware that he had any assistance in writing it. I mention +this because I have never met with any person who was so equally +familiar with obscure and obsolete old German facetious +literature (as the text indicates), and at the same time with +Americanisms. I should say that in all of the later ballads, or +at least in fully one half of all in the book, the author was +indebted to him for ideas, suggestions, and emendations, and that +the work would never have been what it is - sit verbo venia - but +for him. Mr. Trubner was a poet, even in English, as his +translation from Scheffel's poems indicates. A very few words +have been added to explain the poems in the ballads which appear +for the first time in this edition. + +CHARLES G. LELAND. +GLOSSARY +-------------- + +Abenddammerung,(Ger.) - Evening dim light; twilight. +Abendgold,(Ger.) - Evening gold. +Abendroth,(Ger.) - Evening red. +Abendsonnenschein,(Ger.) - Evening sunshine. +Abbordez-moi vodre mere,(German-French) - Bring me your mayor. +Ach weh,(Ger.) - Oh, woe. +Allatag,(Ger. dial.) - Every day. +Alla weil - All the while; always. +Allegader - All together. +Alles wird ewig zu eins,(Ger.) - And all for ever becomes one. +Alter Schwed',(old Swede) - A familiar phrase like "old fellow." +Anamile,(Amer.) - Animal. +Annerthalb Yar, Anderthalb Jahr,(Ger.) - Year and a half. +Anti Word: Antwort - Answer. +Antworded,(Ger.) - Answered. +Apple-tod,(Amer.) - Apple toddy. Spirit distilled from cider. +Arbeiterhalle - Working-man's hall. +Arminius,(Herman.) - The Duke of the Cheruskans, and destroyer of + the Roman legions under Varus, in the Teutoburg Forest. +Armlos - Unarmed. +Aroom, Herum - Around. +Arriere pensee,(Fr.) - A reserved thought or intention. +Aufgespannt,(Ger.) - Stretched, bent. +Augen,(Ger.) - Eyes. +Augenblick,(Ger.) - Twinkling of an eye. +Aus,(Ger.) - Out. + +Bach,(Ger.) - Book. +Baender-box - Band-box. +Baldface corn,(Amer.) - Plain maize whisky. +Barell-hell pars - Parallel-bars; a part of the gymnastic + apparatus. +Barrick,(Pennsylvania Ger. for Berg) - Mountain. +Bauern,(Ger.) - Peasants. +Be-ghostet,(Ger. Begeistert) - Inspired. +Begifted, - Beschenkt - Gifted. +Begreifen,(Ger.) - Understand. +Beheaded, Behauptet,(Ger.) - Asserted. +Bei Leib und Leben,(Ger.) - By my body and soul. +Bekannt, Beknown - Known. +Bellin,(Ger. Bellen) - To bark. +Bemarket,(Ger.-Eng.) - Remarked. +Be-mark,(Ger. Bemarken) - Observe. +Bemarks,(Ger. Bemerkungen) - Remarks. +Bemerkbar,(Ger.) - Observable. Should be noticed. +Bemoost,(Ger.) - Mossgrown, in student's language, ein bemoostes + Haupt, an old student. +Bender,(Amer.) - A spree; a frolic. To "go on a bender" - + to go on a spree. +Be-raised - Raised, with the augment, literal for Ger. erhoben. +Berauscht,(Ger.) - Intoxicated. +Besoffen,(Ger.) - Drunk. +Bestimmung des Menschen - Vocation of Man, title of one + of Fichte's works. +Betaubend,(Ger.) - Enchanting. +Bewises,(Ger. Beweist, from Beweisen) - Proves. +Bibliothek - Library. +Bienenkorb,(Ger.) - Beehive. +Birra gazzosa,(Italian) - Aerated, gaseous beer. +Bischof,(Ger.) - Bishop. +Bix Buchse,(box) - Rifle. Bess in Brown Bess is the equivalent + of the German Buchse, (Brown being merely an alliterative + epithet;) French, buse tube; Flemish, buis. (Still + found in blunderbuss, arquebuss.) See Blackley's "Word Gossip." +Blaetter,(Ger.) - Leaves. +Blei - Lead. +Blitz,(Ger.) - Lightning. +Blitzen,(Ger.) - Lightning. +Blokes,(English) - Men. +Bock - A strong kind of German beer. +Boemisch - Bohemian. +Boerenvolk,(Flem.) - Peasants. +Bole Jack road - Near Murfreesboro, Tennessee. +Bool - Bull. +Bornirtheit - Limitedness of capacity. +Bouleverse - Boulevard. +Bountiee,(Amer.) - Bounty-money paid during the war as a premium + to soldiers. To jump the bounty, was to secure the premium and + then run away. + "This is the song of Billy Jones, + Who jumped the boun-ti-ee." + - American Ballad of 1846. +Bowery - A street at New York, inhabited principally by Germans. +Branntewein,(Ger.) - Spirits. +Brandy smash,(Amer.) - A plain half-glass mint julep of only + sugar,ice, spirits, and mint. A regular julep is larger, and + contains more ingredients. +Brav,(Ger.) - Good. +Breit,(Ger.) - Broad. +Bring it down to dots - Reduce it to figures. +Brisner - Prisoner. +Broosh-pinder - Brushbinder,(Ger. Buerstenbinder.) - + Brushmaker. The brushmakers are supposed, probably on account + of their throat-parching business, to be always thirsty. +Brummed - growled - (Ger. Brummen). +Brucke,(Ger.) - Bridge. +Bugs - In America all insects, especially Coleoptera. +Bummer,(Amer.) - A fellow haunting low taverns; applied during + the late civil war in the United States to hangers-on of the +army. Probably a corruption of the German bummler(loafer). +Bumming - From Bummer. +Bushwhackers - Guerillas. +Bust his shell - Broke his head. +Butterbrod,(Ger.) - Buttered bread. +By-Nearly; Beinahe - Almost, nearly. + +Came - Game. +Camine - Chimney-piece. +Canyon,(Span. Canon) - A narrow passage between high and + precipitous banks, formed by mountains or tablelands, often +with a river running beneath. These occur in the great Western +prairies, New Mexico, and California. +Carmagnole - A wild street dance. +Carmosine,(Ger.) - Crimson. French, cramoisoi. +Carnadine - Incarnadine. +Change their lodge - Shift from one "society" to another. +Chroc, Chrocus, Crocus - An Alemannic leader, who overran Gaul, + according to Gregory of Tours. +Chunk - A short thick piece of wood, or of anything else; a chump. + The word is provincial in England, and colloquial in the United +States. +Cinder - Suende; sin. +Clam - The popular name of a bivalvular shell-fish, the Venus. +Clavier,(Ger.) - Piano. +Colle belle,(Ital.) - With the beauties. +Comedy - Committee. +Conradin - The last of the imperial house of the Hohenstaufen - + beheaded at Naples in 1268. +Coot - (To cut) a dash, (to come out a "swell,") + to dress extravagantly. +Corned,(Amer.) - Made drunk. +Coster - The inventor of the art of printing, according + to the Dutch. +Crate - Great. +Crecian pend - When Breitmann says "Dat pend of the bow ish + the Crecian pend," it is a rather eqivocal compliment. + "Grecian bend" has lately become a common newspaper + expression. Smuggling done by women is called a "Case of + Grecian bend." The present style of skirt, full at the back, + is favourable to it. +Crislies - Grisly,(bear.) + +Da ist er! Schau! - There he is! look! +Damit,(Ger.) - Therewith. +Dampfschiff - Steamboat. +Deck - A pack of cards, piled one upon another. +Demperanceler, Temperenzler - Temperance man. +Dessauerinn - A woman from Dessau. +Deutschland - Germany. +Die Hexe - The witch. +Die wile as mohte leben - During all its life. + Daz wolde er immer dienen + Die wile es mohte leben. + - Kutrun. XV. Aventiure, 756th verse. +Dink - he, they think; my dinks - my thoughts. +Dinked - he, they thought. +Dishtriputet - Instead of attributed. +Dissembulatin' - Dissembling. +Dissolfed - Instead of resolved. +D'lusion - Instead of allusion. +Donnered,(Ger.) - Thundered. +Donnerwetter,(Ger.) - Thunder and lightning. +Dooks - Ducks. +Doon - Tune. +Doonderblix - Thunder and lightning. +Dorn - A thorn. Dorn lieder - Thorn-songs. +Drawed he in - (literal rendering of the German Zog er ein,) +Dreimal,(Ger.) - Three times. +Drocks - Drakes, dragons; (Ger. Drachen.) +Druckerei - Printing-office. +Dummehrlichkeit,(Ger.) - Honest simplicity. +Dunkelheit - Darkness. +Dursty,(Ger. Durstig) - Thirsty. + +Earnsthaft, ernsthaft - Serious. +Eber,(Ger.) - Wild boar. +Eberschwein,(Ger.) - Wild boar. +Eckhartshausen - A German supernaturalist. +Eher,(Ger.) - Sooner. In the dialect it has the meaning + of "before." +Einander to sprechen mit,(Ger.) - To speak together. +Eins, zwei, drei - One, two, three. +Einsichen, to take up one's abode with. +Eldern,(Ger. Eltern) - Parents. +Elfenbein,(Ger.) - Ivory. +Emerich - King Emerich, hero of a German legend. +Emsig Gruebler,(Ger.) - Assiduous inquirer. +Engel,(Ger.) - Angel. +Englandrinn,(Ger.) - English woman. +Entlang,(Ger.) - Along. +Erfinder,(Ger.) - Inventor. +Erfounden,(Ger. Erfunden) - Invented. +Ergeben,(Ger.) - Resigned. +Error-dom, Irrthum - Error. +Erstaun, Erstaunished, erstaunt - Astonished. +Erstarrt,(Ger.) - Aghast. +Erwaitin',(Ger. Erwartend) - Awaiting, expecting. +Euchre, Eucre - Sort of game played with cards, very much in vogue + in the West. +Euchred - From Euchre, the game of cards. + +Fackeltantz,(Ger.) - Torch dance. +Fancy craps or crabs - Fast horses. +Fanes, Wetterfahnen - Weathercocks. +Fass,(Ger.) - Barrel. +Fat - Printer's term. +Feldwebel,(Ger.) - A sergeant. +Feinslieb,(Ger.) - Fair or fine love. +Fenster - A window. +Fichte - A German philosopher. +Finster,(Ger.) - Dark, dismal. +Foal - Full. +Foll - To fall. +Foon - Fun. +Foors - First. +Fore-by - Literal translation of the German Vorbei. +Fore-lying - Literal translation of Vorliegend. +Foreschlag,(Ger. Vorschlag) - Proposal. +Foresetzen - To set, put (lay) before an audience. +Foxen,(Ger. Fuchsen) - Foxes. +Frank-tiroir - Franc-tireur. +Francois Villon - An old French humorous poet, whom Boileau + speaks of as the first who began to write truly modern French. +Frau,(Ger.) - Woman. +Freie,(Ger.) - Free. +Freischarlinger,(Ger. Freischaerler) - A member of a Free Corps; + especially applied to those who belonged to the Free Corps + formed in Southern Germany during the Revolution in 1848. +Freischuetz,(Ger.) - Free shot, one who shoots with charmed + bullets, the name of Karl Maria Von Weber's celebrated opera. +Friederich Rothbart - Frederic Barbarossa, the great Emperor of + Germany and one of the German legendary heroes. He is supposed + to sleep in the Kyffhauser in Thuringia, and to awaken one day, + when he will bring great glory over Germany. +Frolic - Frohlich, merry. +Froze to de ready - Held fast to the money. +Fullenden - Vollenden - To complete, perfect. +Fuss,(Ger.) - Foot. +Fust or Faust - The partner of Gutemberg, the inventor of the + art of printing. + +Gambrinus - A mythical King of Brabant, supposed to have been + the inventor of beer. +Gandertate - Candidate. +Ganz,(Ger.) - Ganz. +Gans egal - Quite the same. +Ganz und gar,(Ger.) - Altogether, all over. +Garce,(French) - Wench. +Gass und Strass,(Ger.) - Lane and street. +Gast,(Ger.) - Guest. +Gasbalgs - Bladder of gas. +Gauer - Valleys. +Gaul darn - G-- ---n. +Gaul dern - A Yankee oath. +Gauner-sprache,(Ger.) - Thieves' language. +Ge-bildet - Built, with the German augment. +Ge-birt',(Ger. Geburt) - Birth. +Geborn - Born, with the augment. +Ge-brudert,(formed like ge-schwister,) - Brothers. +Geh hin mein Puch,(German of the 16th century). +Gehst nit mit rechten Dingen zu - Dost not do it by any natural + means; there is witchcraft in it. +Gekommene - Arrived(newly arrived). +Gekommen so,(Ger.) - Come thus. +Ge-kostet - Cost, with the German augment.) +Gesangverein,(Ger.) - Singing-society. +Ge-screech, Geschrei - Bawling, clamour. +Gesembled - Assembled, with the augment of the German preterite. +Geshmasht - Smashed, with German augment. +Gespickt,(Ger.) - Larded. +Gestohlen - Stolen. +Gestohlen und bekannt,(Ger.) - Stolen, and known. +Gesundheit,(Ger.) - Health. +Gewehr,(Ger.) - Musket. +Gewiss - Certainly. +Gift,(Ger.) - Poison. +Gilt - In the ordinary sense, and also in the same verse, "gilt," + implying the meaning of the German verb "gelten," to be worth + something, and also guilt. +Glamour - Ocular deception by magic. +Glee-wine, Glueh-wein - Hot-spiced wine. +Glucky,(Ger. Gluecklich) - Lucky. +Glueck,(Ger.) - Luck. +Goblum - For goblin. +Gool - Cool. +Gottallmachty, (Ger. Gottallmachtig) - God Almighty. +Gottashe - Cottage. +Gotteshaus,(Ger.) - House of God. +Gott-full, gottvoll - Glorious, divine. +Gottsdonnerkreuzschockschwerenoth,(Ger.) - Another variety of big + swearing. +Gott's-doonder,(Ger. Gott's donner) - God's thunder. See also + Gott's tausend, a thundering sort of oath, but never preceded +by lightning, for it is only used as a kind of expletive to +express great surprise, or to give great emphasis to words +which, without it, would seem to be capable of none. +Gottstausend,(Ger.) - An abbreviation of Gott's tausend + donnerwetter (God's thousand thunders), and therefore the +comparative of Gott's doonder; with most of those who use it a +meaningless phrase. +Gott weiss,(Ger.) - God knows! +Go von - Go one, bet on him. +Grillers - Guerillas. +Grod, gerad - Straight. +Gros,(Ger.) - Great. +Guestfriendlich, gastfreundlich - Hospitable. +Gummi lasticum - India rubber. +Gutemberg - The inventor of the art of printing. +Guve - Southern slang for give. Guv, for give, is also + English slang as well as American. +Gyrotwistive - Snaky. + +Hab' und Guter,(Ger.) - Property. +Hagel! Blitz! Kreuz Sakrament!(Ger.) - Another variety of swearing. +Halberthier, for Halberdier - Halberthier means half an animal. +Hand-shoe,(Ger. Handschuh) - Glove. +Hans Michel - A popular but not complimentary name for Germany. +Hans Wurst - Merry Andrew; Zani; Jack Pudding - the latter word + being a literal translation of the German Hans Wurst; the + pudding in either case referring to the sausages, or the + pretended sausage, which the Merry Andrew always appeared to + be swallowing by the yard or fathom. See Blackley's "Word + Gossip." +Harmlos,(Ger.) - Harmless. +Haul de pot - Take the stakes. +Hause - House. +Hegel - Name of the German philosopher. +Heine, Heinrich - German poet. +Heini von Steier - Heinrich von Ofterdingen. +Heldenbuch - Is the title of a collection of epic poems, belonging + to the cycle of the German Saga. +Heller Glorie schein - Bright gloriole. +Hereauf, hierauf - Thereupon. +Herout,(Ger. Heraus) - Out. +Herr Je,(Ger.) - An abbreviation of Herr Jesus (O + Lord!); generally only used by those who are fond of + meaningless exclamations. +Her-re-liche, herrliche - Superb, grand, noble. +Hertsen - Herzen; hearts. +Hertzhog, Herzog,(Ger.) - Duke. +Herzlich,(Ger.) - Hearty. +Herzbruder,(Ger.) - Heart's brother. +Hexerei - Witchery, sorcery. +Himmel,(Ger.) - Heaven. +Himmels-Potz-Pumpen-Herrgott - A mild sort of a German imprecation, + untranslatable. +Himmlisch' hoellisch' qual,(Ger.) - Heavenly-hellish pain. +Hip Herje! - A common interjection. +Hobbiness - Happiness. +Hoellisch,(Ger.) - Hellish. +Honey fooglin', Honeyfuggle - Is believed to be English + slang. In America it means blarneying, deceiving. +Hoockle perry, persimmoned - "A huckle-berry over my + persimmon." Surpassed, out-done. +Hoof-irons,(Huf-eisen in Ger.) - Horse-shoe. +Hoofstad,(Flem.) - Capita. +Hop-sosa,(Ger.)int. - Hop; heyday! +Hunde - Dog. +Hundsfott,(Ger. Vulg.) - Mean scoundrel, hound. +Hunk,(Amer.) - Stout, solid, profitable. "To be all hunk" means to + come out of a speculation with advantage. To be well off. +Hut,(Ger.) - Hat. + +I Gili romaneskro - This song is written in the German gipsy + dialect. Eh! in third line of second verse, is the + German word ehe, "ere," or before. Kuribente + ("in war,") is in the Slavonic and gipsy local case, + or as Pott calls it (Die Zigeuner in Europa und Asien) + the Second Dative. +Ik leven,(Flem.) - I live. +Il diavolo in carnato,(Ital.) - The devil incarnate or in + carnation. +Immer - Ever. +In geburst - Burst. +In Sang und Klang dein Leben lang,(Ger.) - In music and song all + thy life long. +Ita dixit,(Latin) - So said. + +Jeff - A game played by throwing up types, generally for + "refreshments." +Joss-stick - A name given to small reeds, covered with the dust of + odiferous woods, which the Chinese burn before their idols. +Jungfernkranz,(Ger.) - Bridal garland. + +Kaiser Karl - Charlemagne. +Kalt,(Ger.) - Cold. +Kanaster,(Ger.) - Canaster tobacco. +Kan ik. Ik kan,(Flem.) - I can. +Karfunkelstein,(Ger.) - Carbuncle. +Kartoffel,(Ger.) - Potato. +Kauder-Waelsch,(Ger.) - Gibberish. +Kellner,(Ger.) - Waiter. +Kermes - Annual Fair. +Kinder,(Ger.) - Children. +Kitin, a kitin - Flying or running rapidly. +Klein und gross - Small and great. +Kloster,(Ger.) - Cloister. +Knasterbart,(Ger.) - Literally, tobacco-beard; perhaps denoting a + good old fellow, fond of his pipe. +Kneiperei,(Ger.) - Revel. +Knock dem out de shpots - Knock the spots out of them; astonish + them. +Koenig Etzel - King Attila. +Komm maidelein! Rothe waengelein,(Ger.) - Come maiden, red cheeks. +Kong,(Ger. Konig) - Old Norse for king. +Kooken - Cake. +Kop,(Ger. Kopf) - Head. +Kreutzer - Frederick Creutzer, distinguished professor in the + University of Heidelberg, author of a great work on "Symbolik." +Krumm,(Ger.) - Crooked. +Kummel,(Ger.) - Cumin brandy. +Kummel, kimmel,(Ger.) - Schnapps, dram. Hans, in his tipsy + enthusiasm, ejaculates, "Oh, mein Gott in Kimmel!" instead of + "im Himmel" (heaven), becoming guilty of an unconscious + alliteration, and confessing, according to the proverb in + vino veritas, where his God really abides; "whose God is + their belly." +Kunster,(Ger.) - Sacristan. + +Lanze,(Ger.) - Lance. +Lager, Lagerbeer, (Ger. Lagerbier, i.e., Stockbeer) - Sometimes in + these poems abbreviated into Lager. A kind of beer introduced + into the American cities by the Germans, and now much in vogue + among all classes. +Lager Wirthschaft,(Ger.) - Beerhouse. +Laibgartner,(Ger.) - Liebgard; bodyguard. The Swiss in blundering + makes it "body-gardener." +Lam - To drub, beat soundly. +Larmen - The French word larmes, tears, made into a German verb. +Lateinisch - Latin. +Laughen, lachen - Laughing. +Lavergne - A place between Nashville and Murfreesboro', in the + state of Tennessee. +Lebe hoch! - Hurrah! +Leben - Life; living. +Lebenlang,(Ger.) - Life-long. +Lev'st du nock? - Liv'st thou yet? +Libby - The notorious Confederate prison at Richmond, Va. +Liddle Pills - Little bills, Legislative enactments. +Lieblich,(Ger.) - Charming. +Liedeken,(Flem.) - Song. +Lieder, Lieds,(Ger.) - Songs. +Liederkranz,(Ger.) - Glee-union. +Liederlich,(Ger.) - Loose, reckless, dissolute. +Lighthood,(Ger. Lichtheit) - Light. +Like spiders down their webs - Breitmann's soldiers are supposed to + have been expert turners or gymnasts.) +Loafer,(Amer.) - A term which, considered as the German + pronunciation of lover, is a close translation of + rom, since this latter means both a gipsy and a + husband. +Los, los gehen,(Ger.) - To go at a thing, at somebody. +Loosty,(Ger. Lustig) - Jolly, merry. +Loudet,(Lauten in Ger.) - To make sound. +L'Ubbriacone,(Ital.) - Drunkard. +Luftballon,(Ger.) - Air-balloon. +Lump,(Ger.) - Ragamuffin. +Lumpenglocke - An abusive term applied to bells, especially to + those which are rung to give notice that the beer-houses must + close. + +Madel,(Ger.) - Girl. +Maedchen,(Ger.) - Girl, maiden. +Markgraefler - A pleasant light wine grown in the Grand Duchy + of Baden. +Marmorbild - Marble statue. +Maskenzug,(Ger.) - Procession of masked persons. +Massenversammlung,(Ger.) - Mass meeting. +Mein Freund - My friend. +Mein Sohn - My son. +Meine Seel',(Ger.) - By my soul. +Meisjes,(Flem.) - Girls. +Middleolter(Mittelaelter) - The Middle Ages. +Mijn lief gesellen,(Flem.) - My dear comrades. +Mineted - Minded. +Minnesinger - Poet of love. A name given to German lyric poets, + who flourished from the twelfth to the fourteenth centuries. +Mist-hauf,(Ger.) - Dung-hill. +Mit hoontin knife, &c.:- + "With her white hands so lovely, + She dug the Count his grave. + From her dark eyes sad weeping, + The holy water she gave." + - Old German Ballad. +Mitout - Without. +Mitternight, Mitternacht - Midnight. +Mitternocht, Mitternacht - Midnight. +Mohr, ein schwarzer,(Ger.) - A blackamoor. +Moleschott - Author of a celebrated work on physiology. +Mondenlight - Moonlight. +Mondenschein,(Ger.) - Moonlight. +Morgan - John Morgan, a notorious Confederate guerilla during the + late war in America. +Morgen-het-ache - Morning headache. +Moskopolite,(Amer.) - Cosmopolite. Mossyhead is the German student + phrase for an old student. +Mud-sill - The longitudinal timber laid upon the ground to form the + foundation for a railway. Hence figuratively applied by the + labour-despising Southern gentry to the labouring classes as + the substratum of society. +Murmulte - Murmured. +Mutter,(Ger.) - Mother. + +Naturalizationisds - The officers, &c., who give the rights of + native citizens to foreigners. +Nibelungen Lied - The lay of the Nibelungen; the great German + national epos. +Nieuw Jarsie - New Jersey, in America, famous inter alia for its + sandy beaches and high surf. +Nig - Nigger. +Nirwana - The Brahminical absorption into God. +Nix,(Ger. Nichts) - Nothing. +Nix cum raus - That I had not come out. +No sardine - Not a narrow-minded, small-hearted fellow. +Norate - To speak in an oration. +Noth,(Ger.) - Need, dire extremity. Das war des Breitmann's Noth, + -That was Breitmann's sore trial. Imitated from the last line +of the Nibelungen Lied. +Nun - Now. +Nun endlich,(Ger.) - Now at last. + +O'Brady - An Irish giant. +Ochsen,(Ger.) - Oxen; stupid fellows. As a verb it also is used + familiarly to mean hard study. +Odenwald - A thickly-wooded district in South Germany. +Oder - Other. See Preface. +Oltra tramontane; ultra tramontane - Applied to the non-Italian + Catholic party. +On-belongs - Literal translation of Zugehort. +On de snap - All at once. +On-did to on-do - Literal translation of the German + anthun; to donn, to put on. +Onfang,(Ger. Anfang) - Beginning. +Oonendly - Unendlich. +Oonshpeakbarly,(Ger. unaussprechbarlich) - Inexpressibly. +Oop-gecleared,(Ger. Aufgeklaert) - Enlightened. +Ooprighty,(Ger. Aufrichtig) - Upright. +Oopright-hood,(Ger. Aufrichtigkeit) - Uprightness. +Oop-sproong - For aufsprung. +Opple-yack - Apple-jack. Spirit distilled from cider. +Orgel-ton,(Ger.) - Organ sound. +Orkester - Orchestra. +Out-ge-poke-te - Out-poked. +Out-signed,(Ger. ausgezeichnete) - Distinguished, signal. +Out-sprach - Outspoke. +Over again - Uebrigen. + +Paardeken,(Flemish) - Palfrey. +Pabst, Der Pabst lebt, &c. - "The Pope he leads a happy life," &c., + beginning of a popular German song. +Palact,(Ger. Pallast) - Palace. +Peke - Belgian rye whisky. +Peeps - People. "Hard on the American peeps" - a phrase for + anything exacting or severely pressing. +Pelznickel, Nick, Nickel - St. Nicolas, muffled in fur, is one of + the few riders in the army of the saints, but, unlike St. + George and St. Martin, he oftener rides a donkey than a horse, + more especially in that part of the German land which can boast + of having given birth to the illustrious Hans. St. Nicolas is + supposed, on the night preceding his name-day, the sixth of + December, to pass over the house-tops on his long-eared steed, + and having baskets suspended on either side filled with sweets + and playthings, and to drop down through the chimneys presents + for those children who have been good during the year, but + birch-rods for those who have been naughty, would not go to bed + early, or objected to being washed, &c. In the expectation of + his coming, the children put, on the eve of St. Nicolas' day, + either a shoe, or a stocking, or a little basket, into the + chimney-piece of their parents' bedroom. We may remark, by the + way, that St. Nicolas is the Christian successor of the heathen + Nikudr, of ancient German mythology. +Pesser, besser,(Ger.) - Better. +Pestain - Stain, with the augment. +Pfaelzer - A man from the Rhenish Palatinate. +Pfeil,(Ger.) - Arrow. +Philosopede - Velocipede. +Pickel-haube,(Ger.) - The spiked helmet worn by Prussian soldiers. +Pie the forms - Break and scatter the forms of types - the greatest + disaster conceivable to a true typo. +Pig-sticker - Bowie-knife. +Pile-out,(Amer.) - Hurry out. +Pimeby - By and by. +"Plain" - Water plain, i.e., unmixed. +Plue goats - Blue coats, soldiers. +Plug-muss - Fight for a fire-plug. American fireman's language. +Pokal, (Poculum) - Goblet. +Poker - A favourite game of cards among Western gamblers. +Poonkin - Pumpkin. +Pop-slets - Bob-sleds. A very rough kind of sledge. +Potzblitz,(Ger.) - int., The deuce. +Potztausend! Was ist das? - Zounds! What is that? +Poulderie - Poultry. +Poussiren - To court. +Pretzel,(Ger.) - A kind of fancy bread, twist or the like. +Prezackly - Pre(cisely), exactly. +Protocollirt, protocolliren - To register, record. +Pully, i.e., Bully - An Americanism, adjective. Fine, + capital. A slang word, used in the same manner as the + English used the word crack; as, "a bully + horse," "a bully picture." +Pumpernickel - A heavy, hard sort of rye-bread, made in Westphalia. +Put der Konig troo - To put through, (Amer.), to qualify, to + imitate. +Pye - To buy. + +Rapp(Rappe) - A black horse. +Raushlin', rauschend - Rustling. +Reb - An abbreviation of rebel. +Redakteur - Editor. +Red cock - Or make de red cock crow. Einem den rothen + Hahn aufs Dach setzen. A German proverb signifying to set + fire to a house. +Rede,(Ger.) - Speech. +Red-Waelsch, Roth-Waelsch,(Ger.) - Thieves' language. +Reiten gaen,(Flemish) - Go riding. +Reiter,(Ger.) - Rider. +Reiver - Robber. +Reue,(Ger.) - Repentance. +Rheingraf,(Ger.) - Count of the Rhine districts. +Rheinweinbechers Klang - The Rhine wine goblet's sound. +Richter,(Jean Paul Fr.) - A distinguished German author. +Ridersmann,(Reitersmann in Ger.) - Rider. +Ring - A political clique or cabal. +Ringe,(Ger.) - Rings. +Ritter,(Ger.) - Knight. +Roland - One of the paladins of Charlemagne. +Rolette - Roulette. +Rollin' locks - Rolling logs, mutually aiding (used only in + politics.) +Rosen,(Ger.) - Roses. +Rouse,(Ger. Heraus) - Out; come out. + +Sachsen - Saxonia, Saxony. +Sacrin - Consecrating. +Sagen Cyclus - Cycle of legends. +Sass, Sassy, Sassin' - Sauce, saucy, &c. +Sauerkraut,(Ger.) - Pickled cabbage. +Saw it - Understood it. +Scatterin, Scotterin - Scattering. +Schatz - Sweetheart. +Schauer,(Ger.) - Awe. +Schenk aus,(Ger.) - Pour out. +Schenket ein,(Ger.) - Pour in (fill the glasses). +Schimmel,(Ger.) - Grey horse. +Schimpft und flucht gar laesterlich,(Ger.) - Swears and blasphemes + abominably. +Schinken,(Ger.) - Ham. +Schlaeger,(Ger.) - A kind of sword or broadsword; a rapier used by + students for duelling or fighting matches. +Schlesierwein,(Ger.) - Wine grown in Silesia, proverbially sour. +Schlimmer,(Ger.) - Worse. +Schlog him ober de kop - Knocked him on the head. +Schloss,(Ger.) - Castle. +Schmutz,(Ger.) - Dirt. +Schnapps,(Ger.) - Dram. +Schnitz - Pennsylvania German word for cut and dried fruit. +Schnitz, schnitzen,(Ger.) - To chop, chip, snip. +Schonheitsideal,(Ger.) - The ideal of beauty. +Schopenhauer - A celebrated German "philosophical physiologist." +Schoppen,(Ger.) - A liquid measure, chopin, pint. +Schrocken(Erschrocken) - Frightened. +Schwaben - Suabia. +Schwan,(Ger.) - Swan. +Schweinblatt - (Swine) Dirty paper. +Schweitzer kase,(Ger.) - Swiss cheese. +Schwer,(Ger.) - Heavy. +Schwig, Swig, verb. - To drink by large draughts. +Schwigs, Swig, n. - A large draught. +Schweinpig,(Ger.) - Swinepig. +Scoop - Take in, get. +Scorched - Escorted. A negro malapropism. +Scrouged,(Amer.) - Pressed, jammed. +Seelen-Ideal - Soul's ideal. +Sefen-lefen - Seven or eleven(minutes). +Seins,(Ger.) - The Being. +Selbstanschauungsvermogen,(Ger.) - Capacity for self-inspection. +Selfe,(Ger. Selbe) - Same. +Serenity - A transparency. +Shanty - A board cabin. Slang, for house. +Shapel - Chapel is an old word for a printing-office. +Sharman, Sherman - German. +Shings - Jingo; by jingo. +Shpicket - Spigot; a pin or peg to stop a small hole in a cask of + liquor. +Shipsy - Gipsy. +Shlide - Slide. "Let it slide," vulgar for "let it go." +Shlide,(Amer.) - Depart. +Shlished, geschlitzt - Slit. +Shlop over - Go too far and upset or spill. Applied to men who + venture too far in a success. +Shlopped - Slopped. +Shmysed,(Ger. Schmissen, from Schmeissen) - + Threw him out of doors. +Shnow-wice,(Ger. Schnee-weis) - Snow-white. +Shoopider - Jupiter. +Shooting-stick - A shooting-stick is used for closing up the form + of types. +Show-spiel, Schauspiel - Play, piece. +Shpoons - Spoons, plunder. +Shtuhl,(Ger. Stuhl) - Stool, chair. +Silbern,(Ger.) - Silver. +Sinn,(Ger.) - Meaning. +Six mals - Six times. +Skeeted - Went fast, skated(?) +Skool - Skull. +Skyugle,(Amer.) - "Skyugle" is a word which had a short run during + 1864. It meant many things, but chiefly to disappear or to +make disappear. Thus, a deserter "skyugled," and sometimes he +"skyugled" a coat or watch. +Slanganderin' - Foolishly slandering. +Slasher gaffs - Spurs for cocks, with cutting edges. +Slibovitz - A Bohemian schnapps. +Slumgoozlin' - Slum or sham guzzling, humbug. +Slumgullion - A Mississippi term for a legislator. +So mit,(Ger.) - Thus with. +Solidaten,(Ger. Soldaten) - Soldiers. +Sonntag,(Ger.) - Sunday. +Soplin - A sapling, young tree. +Sottelet,(Ger. Gesattelt) - Saddled. +Sound upon the goose - Bartlett, in his Dictionary of + Americanisms, states that this phrase originated in the + Kansas troubles, and signified true to the cause + of slavery. But this is erroneous, as the phrase + was common during the native American campaign, + and originated at Harrisburg, as described by Mr. Leland. +Souse und Brouse,(Ger. Saus und Braus) - Revelry and rioting. +Speck,(Ger.) - Bacon. +Spiel,(Ger.) - Play. +Spielman,(Ger.) - Musician. +Splodderin' - Splattering. +Spook,(Ger. Spuk) - A ghost. +Sporn,(Ger.) - Spur. +Sports - Sporting men. +Squander,(Amer.) - Wander. Used in this sense in "The Big Bear of + Arkansas." +Staub,(Ger.) - Dust. +Stein,(Ger.) - Stone. +Stille,(Ger.) - Stillness. +Stim,(Ger. Stimme) - Voice. +Stohr - Store. +Stone fence,(Amer.) - Rye whisky. + "I went in and got a horn + Of old stone fence." + - Jim Crow, 1832. +Straaten,(Flem.) - Streets. +Stracks - Straight ahead, or onwards. +Straight flush - In poker, all the cards of one suit. +Strassen,(Ger.) - Streets. +Strauss - Name of the celebrated Viennese valse player and + composer. +Strumpf,(Ger.) - Stocking. +Stunden,(Ger.) - Leagues. About four and a half English miles. +Sturm und Drang,(Ger.) - Literally Storm and Violence. Sturm und + Drang periode, signifying a particular period of German + literature. +Sweynheim and Pannartz - The first printers at Rome. + +Takes - Allotments of copy to each printer. +Tantz,(Ger.) - Dance. +Tantzen,(Ger.) - To dance. +Tarnal - Eternal. +Taub, Taube,(Ger.) - Dove. +Taugenix, Taugenichts - Good-for-nothing fellow. +Teufelsjagersmann - Devil's huntsman. +Theil,(Ger.) - Part. +Thoom - Thumb. +Thrip,(Southern Amer.) - Threepence. +Thusnelda - The wife of Arminius,(Hermann,) the Duke of the + Cheruskans and conqueror of Varus. +Tie a dog loose. Losbinden +Tiger - An American term for a gambling table. +Tixey - "I wish I was in Dixie." The origin of this song + is rather curious. Although now thoroughly adopted as a + Southern song, and "Dixie's Land" understood to mean the + Southern States of America, it was, about a century ago, + the estate of one Dixie, on Manhattan Island, who treated + his slaves well; and it was their lament, on being deported + south, that is now known as "I wish I was in Dixie." +Todt,(Ger.) - Dead. +Todtengrips, Todtengerippe - Skeleton. +Tofe - Dove. +To House,(Ger. zu Hause) - At home. +Tortled - To tortle, to move off. From turtle. +Touch the dirt - Touch the road. +Treppe - Stairs. +Treu,(Ger.) - Faithful, true. +Throw him with ecks - Pelt him with eggs. +Turchin - Colonel Turchin's men ravaged the town of Huntsville + (Ala.) during the civil war. +Turkas - Turquoise. +Turner,(Ger.) - Gymnast. +Turner Verein,(Ger. Turnverein) - Gymnastic Society. +Tyfel, Teufel - Devil. +Tyfeled, Verteufelt - Devilish. +Tyfelfest - From Teufel, here in the sense of "best" or "worst." +Tyfel-shnake, Teufelsschnaken - Devilries. +Tyfel-strikes, Teufels-streiche - Devil-strokes. +Tyfelwards - Devilwards. + +Uber Stein and Schwein,(Ger.) - Over stone and swine. +Ueberschwengliche,(Ger.) - Transcendental, elevated. +Uhr,(Ger.) - Clock, watch, hour, time. Used for "hour" in the + ballad. +Uhu,(Ger.) - Owl. +Uliverus - Oliver, another of the twelve Paladins of Charlemagne, + who fell at Roncesvalles (a Roland for an Oliver). +Und lauter guter Ding,(Ger.) - And of thoroughly good cheer. +Un-windoong,(Ger. Entwicklung?) - Unravelling. +Unvolkommene technik - Unfinished style or method. +Urbummeleid,(Ger. vulg.) - Arch-loafer's song. +Urlied,(Ger.) - The song of yore. + +Van't klein komt men tot't groote,(Dutch) - Great things have small + beginnings. (Concordia res parvae crescunt - Legend on the + Dutch ducats; or "Magna molimur parvi.") +Varus - The Roman commander in Germany, conquered by Arminius. +Veilchen,(Ger.) - Violets. +Vercieren,(Flem.) - Adorn; exalt. +Verdammt,(Ger.) - D---d. +Verfluchter,(Ger.) - Accursed. +Verloren,(Ger.) - Forlorn. +Verstay, Verstehen - Understand. +Versteh, Verstehen,(Ger.) - To understand. +Vertyfeln, Verteufeln - To botch. +Villiam - William Street at New York, inhabited by many Germans. +Vivat! - The same as vive! in French. Hurrah! +Vlaemsche - Flemish. +Von - One. See Preface. +Voonderly,(Ger. Wunderlich) - Wondrous, curious. +Voruber,(Ger.) - Past. + +Wachsen,(Ger.) - Waxen. +Wachsen,(Ger.) - To grow. + "Komm'ich in's galante Sachsen + Wo die schone Maedchen wachsen." + - Old German Song. +Waechter,(Ger.) - Watchman. +Waelder,(Ger.) - Woods. +Wahlverwandtschaft,(Ger.) - Elective affinity, sympathy of souls. +Wahrsagt,(Ger. Wahrsagen) - To foretell, soothsay. +Waidmannsheil,(Ger.) - Huntsman's weal. +Wald,(Ger.) - Wood. +Wallowin - Walloon. +Walschen,(Ger.) - Of the Latin race. +Wappenshield(Waffenschild) - Coat of arms. +Ward all zu Steine,(Ger.) - Became all stone. +Ward zu Wind,(Ger.) - Became a wind. +Wechselbalg,(Ger.) - (formerly a popular superstitious belief), a + changeling, brat, urchin. +Weihnachtsbaum,(Ger.) - Christmas tree. +Weihnachtslied,(Ger.) - Christmas song. +Weingarts, weingarten,(Ger.) - Vineyards. +Weingeist,(Ger.) - Vinous, ardent spirit. +Wein-handle,(Ger. Weinhandel or Weinhandlung) - + Wine-trade, wine-shop. +Weinnachtstraum - Lit. Winenight's dream, for "Weihnacht," + Christmas dream. +Wellen und Wogen,(Ger.) - Waves and billows. +Welshhen - Turkey hen. +Werda?(Ger.) - Who's there? +Werden, das Werden - The becoming to be. +Wete(Wette) - Bet. +We'uns, you'ns - We and you. A common vulgarism + through the Southern States. + "'Tis sad that we'uns from you'ns parts + When you'ns hev stolen we'uns' hearts. +Wie gehts,(Ger.) - How goes it? How are you? +Wie Milch und Blut - Like milk and blood. +Wild und Weh,(Ger.) - Wild and woebegone. +Wilde Jagd - Wild hunt. +Willkomm,(Ger.) - Welcome. +Windsbraut,(Ger. poet) - Storm, hurricane, gust of wind. +Wird,(Ger.) - Becomes. +Wise-hood,(Ger. Weisheit) - Wisdom. +Wised,(Ger. Wusste, from wissen) - Knew. +Witz,(Ger.) - A sally. +Wo bist du?(Ger.) - Where art? +Woe-moody,(Ger. Wehmuthig) - Moanful, doleful. +Wohl,(Ger.) - Well! +Wohlauf,(Ger.) - Well, come on, cheer up. +Wolfsschlucht,(Ger.) - Wolf's glen. +Wonnevol,(Ger. Wonnevoll) - Blissful. +Woon,(Ger. Wunde) - Wound. +Word-blay - Word-play, pun, quibble. +Wunderscheen(Wunderschoen) - Very beautiful. +Wurst - A German student word for indifference. +Wurst,(Ger.) - Sausage. + +Yaeger,(Ger.) - Huntsman. +Yaegersmann, Jaegersmann - Huntsman. +Yager,(Jager, Ger.) - Hunter. +Yar,(Ger. Jahr) - Year. +Yartausend, Jahrtausend - A thousand years. +Yellow pine - Mulatto. +Yonge maegden,(Flem.) - Young girls. + "I lost a maiden in that hour." - Byron. +Yoompers - Jumpers. Rude sledges. +Yungling, Jungling,(Ger.) - Youth. + +Zapfet aus,(Ger.) - Tap the barrel. +Zigeuner - Gipsy. +Zimmer,(Ger.) - Room. +Zukunftig,(Ger.) - In future. + +1. Liederchor is the word which serves as a basis for this + designation. + +2. Studio auf einer Reis', + Lebet halt auf auf eig'ner Weis' + Hungrig hier und hungrig dort, + Ist des Burschens Logungswort. + +This, with the other verses, may be found in the German Student's +"Commersbucher." + +3. Bachtallo dschaven is the prose form. Vide Pott's + Zigeuner. + +4. Stinging. An amusing instance of "Breitmannism" was + shown in the fact that an American German editor, in his + ignorance of English, actually believed that the word stinging, + as here given, meant stinking, and was accordingly + indignant. It is needless to say that no such idea was intended + to be conveyed. + +5. Then only you will be ready in German. + +6. In Music and Song all thy life long. + +7. Thy feet are white as chalk, my love, + Thy arms are ivory bone, + Thy body is all satin soft, + Thy breast of marble stone + @ @ @ @ @ @ + Smooth, tender, pure, and fair. + --Liederbuch Pauls von der Helst, 1602 + +8. Slibovitz. + +9. The author does not know who wrote the first part of "Die + Schone Wittwe." It appeared about 1856, and "went the round + of the papers," accumulating as it went several additions + or rejoinders, one of which was that by Hans Breitmann. + +10. I had not seen for many days + The handsome widow's face; + I saw her last night standing + By her counter, full of grace. + With cheeks as pure as milk and blood, + With eyes so bright and blue, + I kissed her full well six times, + Indeed, and that is true. + +11. This ballad is a parody of Das Hildebrandslied. Consult + Wackernagel's Lesebuch and Das klein Heldenbuch. + "Ich vill zum Land ausreiten, + Sprach sich Maister Hilteprand." + +12. The Republicans in America were for a long time ridiculed by their + opponents as if professing to be guided by Moral Ideas, i.e. + Emancipation, Progress, Harmony of Interests, &c. + +13. Gling, glang, gloria, was a common refrain in the 16th + century, in German drinking songs. "Gling, glang, glorian, Die + Sau hat ein Panzer an." - Tractatus de Ebrietate Vitanda. + +14. The boot was a favourite drinking cup during the Middle Ages. + The writer has seen a boot-shaped mug, bearing the inscription, + "Wer . sein . Stiefel . nit . trinken . kan . + Der . ist . furwahr . kein . Teutscher . man." + + There is an allusion to this boot-cup in Longfellow's "Golden + Legend," where mention is made of a jolly companion + + ----"who could pull + At once a postilion's jack-boot full, + And ask with a laugh, when that was done, + If they could not give him the other one." + +15. The German equivalent for a native of Little Pedlington. It is + a Suabian joke, commemorated in a popular song, to inquire in + foreign and remote regions, "Is there any good fellow from + Boblingen here?" + +16. "Sonst etwas auf dem Rohr habem" - something else on the pipe + or tube - meaning a plan or idea, kept to one's self, is a German + proverbial expression, which occurs in one of Langbein's humorous + lyrics. + +17. "Nom de garce," as an anagram of nom de grace, + occurs in Rabelais. G + +18. An expression only used in reference to seeing again some + jolly old friend after long absence - "Uns kommt der alte + Schwed." + +19. Wurst, literally sausage, is used by German students + to signify indiffer ence. When a sausage is on the table, and + one is asked with mock courtesy which part he prefers, he + naturally replies - "Why, it is all sausage to me." I have heard + an elderly man in New England reply to the query whether he would + have "black meat or breast" - "Any part, thank'ee - I guess it's + all turkey." There are, of course, divers ancient and + quaint puns in Pennsylvania, on such a word as wurst. Thus + it is said that a northern pedlar, in being served with some + sausage of an inferior quality, was asked again if he would have + some of the wurst. Not understanding the word, and + construing it as a slight, he replied to his hostess - "No, thank + you, marm, this is quite bad enough." The literal meaning of + this line, which is borrowed from Scheffel's poem of Perkeo, is + "indifferent, and equal, to me." + +20. It was, I believe, Ragnar Lodbrog who, in his Death Song, + spoke, about as intelligently and clearly as Herr Breitmann, of a + mass of weapons. + +21. Is true art-enjoyment. + +22. Where art thou Breitmann? - Believe it. + +23. In the green wood. + +24. Students in the streets. + +25. Oh Fatherland! - how thou art far! + Oh Time! - how art thou long! + +26. Full details of this excursion were published in a pamphlet, + entitled "Three Thousand Miles in a Railroad Car," and also in + letters written by Mr. J. G. Hazzard for the New York + Tribune. + +27. In American-German festivals, cards are sometimes sold by the + quantity, which are "good" for refreshments. This is done to + avoid trouble in making change. + +28. Breitmann and bride-man, breit and krumm (bride and groom), + or broad and crooked, &c. + +29. This refers to the passage of bills in the Legislature of a + state by means of bribery. In Pennsylvania, as in many other + states, bills which have "nothing in them" - i.e. no money + - are rarely allowed to pass. + +30. "Die Welt gleicht einer Bierbouteille." + +31. Harrisburg is the capital of the state of Pennsylvania. + +32. In a certain edition of the Breitmann Ballads, this phrase is + said to have originated in 1845. In 1835, I heard it said that + General Jackson in a letter spelt all correct "oll + korrekt," and this I believe to be the real origin of + the expression. - C.G.L. + +33. This incident, and the one narrated in the preceding verse, + are literally true. + +34. "No more interlect than a half-grown shad," is a phrase which + occurs, if the author remembers aright, in the Charcoal Sketches, + by J. C. Neal. The Western people have carried this idea a step + further, and applied it to sardines, as "small fishes," all of an + average size, packed closely together in tin cans and excluded + from the light of day. A man who has never travelled, and has + during all his life been packed tightly among those who were his + equals in ignorance and inexperience, is therefore a "sardine." + +35. The incident narrated in this part, is told in Pennsylvania + as having occurred to a well-known politician, who bore the + sobriquet of "With all due deference," from his habit of + beginning all his speeches with these words. + +36. "Dese outpressions ish not to pe angeseen py anypodies ash + schvearin, boot ash inderesdin Norse or Sherman idioms. Goot + many refiewers vot refiewsed to admire soosh derms in de earlier + editions ish politelich requestet to braise dem in future nodices + from a transcendental philological standpoint." - FRITZ + SCHWACKENHAMMER + +37. Requisish. An abbreviation of the word + requisition, which Breitmann had heard during the War of + Emancipation. I once heard this cant term used in a droll + manner, about the end of the war, by a little girl, six years + old, the daughter of a quarter-master. She had "confiscated," or + "foraged," or "skirmished," as it was indifferently called, a toy + whip belonging to her little brother of four years, who was + clamorously demanding its return. "I cannot let you have the + whip," said she gravely, "as I need it for military purposes; but + I can give you a requisish for it on my papa, who will give you + an order on the United States Government." - C. G. L. + +38. Bismarck. + +39. Disraeli. + +40. Uhu. An owl - the bird of kn-owl-edge. + +41. Allons. Uhlan slang for go or went, as + in America, they use the Spanish word vamos to express + every person in every sense of the verb to go. Pronounced + allon'd. + +42. "O no, those are no angels + Which sail so smoothly on, + O no - they're cursed Frenchmen, + All in an air-balloon." + +43. "And when she came adown + Unto the earth's firm surface, + She was Mrs. Robinson." + +44. Those are thrashed Frenchmen. + +45. "Der Uhlan was not shenerally wear pickelhaube, but dis tay + der Herr Breitmann gehappenet to hafe von on." - FRITZ + SCHWACKENHAMMER + +46. "And art thou truly living?" + +47. "All my property." + +48. "O maiden fair in Heaven!" + +49. Nancy, the "light of love" of Lorraine. - London + Times, Dec. 6, 1870. + +50. "I require you to surrender: + I have thirty thousand men + Not far from here, parbleu! + But give me first champagne: + I've a wondrous thirst, you know- + About a dozen cart-loads; + And then I'll let you go." + +51. "O Lord, Lord, Lord! + We are ruined!" + +52. "We will take the ready gelt." + +53. "Yes, give a hundred thousand francs + 'Tis all to me, you know." + +54. "Ah, that will make you trouble, + Which I would not gladly see; + So follow all my counsels, + And take advice from me. + I have two thousand bottles, + The best"- + +55. "From the wrath of the Northmen, deliver us, Lord!" + +56. There is a German student's song which begins with this + couplet. + +57. La Redoute - the gambling-room at Spa. + +58. Spa is famous for painted ornamental wooden ware, such as + fans and boxes. + +59. "And to him who sung this song, + God give a happy year!" + +60. "If wine is better than loving, + Or if love doth much more than wine." + +61. "Yes, when the flower is plucked, + And taken from the stem." + +62. "What is sweeter than this drinking? + Yes - naught can better be + Naught is sweeter, though, than loving; + It tastes better than wine to me. + There's nothing like the maidens, + There's nothing like good beer, + And he who does not love them both + Can be no cavalier." + +63. "The colours are not unknown to me." + +64. "Ils etaient deux alors; ils sont mille aujourd'hui. + Sur ces temps primitifs le doux progres a lui, + Et chacque jour le Rhin vers Cologne charrie + De nombreux Farinas, tous 'seul, 'tous 'Jean Marie.'" + - Le Maout,"Le Parfumeur," cited by Eugene Rimmel + in Le Livre des Parfums, Paris, 1870. + +65. Bierstadt - Herr Schwackenhammer had evidently here in + view, not only the American artist BIERSTADT, but also the great + city of Munich, specially famous for its manufacture of beer. + +66. Rattenkonig, or Rat-king, is a term applied in German to a + droll mixture of incidents or details. It is derived from an + extraordinary story of twelve rats, with one (their king) in the + centre, which were found in a nest with their tails grown + together, firmly as the ligament which connects the Siamese + Twins. + +67. "Lucifers." The first name applied in America to friction + matches, and one still used by many people. + +68. Scalawag - an American word, of very doubtful origin, + signifying a low, worthless fellow. + +69. "If we can in our monastery collect our rents, we do not care + a red cent for infallibility." + +70. This verse is parodied from the lines of a ribald old Latin + song, "Viginti Jesuiti nuper convenere." + +71. "If I could throw myself outside of, or around, a glass of + Rhenish wine." "If I could see a glass of whisky," said an + American, "I'd throw myself outside of it mighty quick." Since + writing the above, I have seen the expression thus given in a + copy of La Belle Sauvage. - Bill of the Play, London, June 27, + 1870. + + "Nay these natives - simple creatures- + Had resolved that for the future + Each his own canoe would paddle, + Each his own hoe-cake would gobble, + And get outside his own whisky." + +72. "Deus se fecit olim homo,"&c. A very curious epigram to this + effect was placed upon "Pasquin" while the writer was in Rome, + during a past winter. It was as follows:- "Perche Eva mangio il + pomo Iddio per riscattarci si fece uomo, Ed ora il Nono Pio Per + mantenerci schiavi, si fa Dio." + +73. M'Closky. An Irish adventurer, admirably depicted by Mr. + Charles Lever. + +74. "Do you not see that if you are infallible, and wish to give + it out." + +75. "During its life." + +76. "Thou art a very puppy." + +77. This was the late Charles Astor Bristed of New York, to whom + many of these ballads were addressed in letters. + +78. Lines from Gudrun, each of which is freely translated by the + lines following it. + +79. "Go forth, my book, through all the world, + Bear what thy fate may be! + They may bite thee, they may tear thee, + So they do no harm to me!" + +80. "Pull on your boots so rough and tough, + And whet your sword beside, + We have been lazy long enough, + The road is worth the ride." + +81. Schicksal, Destiny. + +82. Menschheitsideal, Human Ideal. + +83. A little stream in Cincinnati, beyond which lies the German + quarter, is known as the Rhine. + +84. That was a dark young gypsy. + +85. Ah, Rosalie, my lovely one! + +86. Blood-coloured is the lovely rose. + +87. Who roses picks his finger pricks + No matter what befall; + In winter-time he finds them gone + And gets no rose at all. + Our petting and caressing here, + Our joy or misery + It all shall rest sub rosa, love, + And our own secret be! + +88. "Thou'rt right, my darling son." + +89. "Good-bye, my friend, my Frederick!" + +90. Woppenshield, coat of arms. + + + + + +Here ends the Project Gutenberg edition of +Charles G. Leland's "The Breitmann Ballads" + |