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author: Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> 2025-10-14 18:56:48 -0700
committer: Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> 2025-10-14 18:56:48 -0700
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+  <title>Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 108, May 4th, 1895.</title>
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+<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 44759 ***</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page205" id="page205"></a>[pg 205]</span></p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h1>PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.<br />
+
+<small>Volume 108, <span class="sc">May 4th, 1895.</span></small><br />
+
+<span class="smaller"><i>edited by Sir Francis Burnand</i></span></h1>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h2>MAY DAY.</h2>
+
+<p class="title1">(<i>Strictly according to Precedent.</i>)</p>
+
+<div class="poem width21">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>Open the windows, salute the day;</p>
+<p>Welcome, welcome the First of May.</p>
+<p>Everything's changed, or ought to be,</p>
+<p>Buds are bursting on hedge and tree.</p>
+<p>Sweet winds breathe from the West or South</p>
+<p>Soft as a kiss from a maiden's mouth.</p>
+<p>Everything speaks of warmth and love,</p>
+<p>Bright is the sun in the blue above.</p>
+<p>Out in the woods, I know. I know,</p>
+<p>Fur and feather are all aglow.</p>
+<p>Downy rabbits with jewel eyes</p>
+<p>Dart about in a wild surprise.</p>
+<p>Yellow-billed blackbird, speckled thrush,</p>
+<p>Pour their notes in a tuneful gush.</p>
+<p>And all the neat little boys and girls,</p>
+<p>With clean fresh faces and hair in curls,</p>
+<p>Sing in a chorus, "Hurray, hurray!</p>
+<p>April's gone, it's the First of May!"</p>
+  </div>  <div class="stanza">
+
+<p class="i4">*&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;*&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;*&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;*</p>
+
+ </div> <div class="stanza">
+<p>That's how I dreamt my May-day dream;</p>
+<p>But things are not what they ought to seem.</p>
+<p>For the wind&mdash;why, bless me, the wind is East,</p>
+<p>And the birds don't warble or chirp the least.</p>
+<p>The whole of the sky is wrapped in gloom.</p>
+<p>And fires are lighting in every room.</p>
+<p>And I shiver and sneeze and spend my day</p>
+<p>In a winter-suit on the First of May.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<p class="ind2"><span class="sc">Auk'd About.</span>&mdash;The skin of a Great
+Auk was put up for sale last week,
+but the reserved price was not reached.
+Evidently it was of bad omen that it
+should have been put up at an "Auk-shun."</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 310px;"><a href="images/205-800.png"><img src="images/205-310.png" width="310" height="468" alt="THE NEW BOY!" /></a>
+<h3 class="sans">THE NEW BOY!</h3>
+
+<p>"<span class="sc">Look, Father, this is your new Overcoat.</span>"</p>
+
+<p>"<span class="sc">By George, it fits you capitally!</span>"</p>
+
+<p>"<span class="sc">Yes, doesn't it! You will now be able to wear <i>my</i>
+Old Clothes!</span>"</p></div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h3 class="sans">DRAMATIC FAMILY LIKENESS.</h3>
+
+<p>For the plot of <i>The Passport</i>,
+recently produced with a fair amount
+of success at Terry's Theatre, the
+authors admit their indebtedness to
+Colonel <span class="sc">Savage's</span> novel, <i>My Official
+Wife</i>. Oddly enough, this plot
+bears a considerable resemblance to
+that of <i>The Orient Express</i>, a piece
+"made in Germany," of which the
+English adaptation was produced
+here, at Daly's, during his season.
+In this piece, <i>i.e.</i>, <i>The Orient
+Express</i>, a gentleman has tourist
+tickets for himself and wife; but
+his wife, after disposing of her
+ticket to a professional <i>cicérone</i>,
+returns to England alone, while her
+husband, travelling on business, continues
+his journey. The <i>cicérone</i>
+has sold the ticket cheap to a lady,
+who is therefore compelled to travel
+under the name inscribed on the
+ticket, and finds herself in the
+same carriage with the gentleman
+who has the corresponding ticket,
+and the ticket-collector, seeing the
+same names, hands back both tickets
+to the gentleman, and tries to keep
+the carriage strictly reserved for
+them all the way, in which attempt
+he fails, and hence arise, on their
+return to England, complications
+analogous to those of <i>The Passport</i>.
+Was the novel of <i>My Official Wife</i>
+written before the German farcical
+play, or is it only a family likeness?</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<p class="ind1">"<span class="sc">Il ira loin.</span>"&mdash;Dr. <span class="sc">Farrar</span>,
+now Chaplain to the <span class="sc">Speaker</span>, has
+been made Dean of Canterbury.
+From the Deanery to a Bishopric is
+but a step. He has gone Far, will
+go <span class="sc">Farrar</span> and fare better ... and
+then ... <span class="sc">Farrar</span>-well to all his
+greatness!</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h2>STRIKES À LA MODE DE PARIS.</h2>
+
+<p class="title1">(<i>From the Diary of a Pleasure-seeker of the Future.</i>)</p>
+
+<p><span class="sc">Rose</span> early, intending to have a real good time of it, in spite of
+the recent disturbances. As a precautionary measure, wore my
+bullet-proof coat and shell-defying boots. Carried also my armour-plated
+umbrella, which can be used (on emergencies) as a shield to
+quick-firing guns. Looked out of window, and found the weather
+splendid. Firing, too (which I had heard every now and again
+during the night), seemingly all but ceased.</p>
+
+<p>On reaching the street, representative of the Civil Power cautioned
+me to be careful. Thanked the representative for his courtesy, and
+asked why a squadron of hussars were trotting past with drawn
+sabres. Was told that the soldiers were engaged in the protection
+of a sweep journeying to his work in a donkey-cart.</p>
+
+<p>Started for a stroll, but had to seek shelter in a doorway from a
+volley of bullets fired in the direction of the early milkman. From
+this demonstration I gathered that the food supply would be still
+further restricted owing to the action of the men on strike. After
+the purveyor had beaten a hasty retreat, advanced upon a strongly-fortified
+position, which turned out to be, as I expected it would, a
+doubly-entrenched cab-stand.</p>
+
+<p>Only one vehicle on the rank. Engaged the cabman. Although I
+was unaccompanied by a relative or friend, found the space at my
+disposal distinctly limited. The top of the four-wheeler was, of
+course, occupied by the customary rocket party. The box had its
+usual sentry, carrying a couple of revolvers and a search-light.
+Three of the seats inside were occupied by sharpshooters, and I
+retained the fourth.</p>
+
+<p>"We had better make for the river," said the officer in command,
+and we fell in with the suggestion.</p>
+
+<p>Our progress was comparatively uneventful. Certainly at the
+corners of streets we had to run the gauntlet of a shower of projectiles
+of various dimensions; still, the armour-plated sides of the cab
+turned aside the flood of iron, and the custodians, by lying flat as
+occasion required, escaped without injury. Leaving the steel-protected
+cab, I embarked on board an armoured penny steamboat, and
+made my way down the river. Fortunately, the helmsman was able
+to avoid the submarine mines which had been laid by the Chairman
+of the Strike Committee. Our voyage was also rendered exciting by
+the torpedoes.</p>
+
+<p>Having reached the last pier, I returned to land, and was sufficiently
+fortunate to catch an omnibus about to start on its exciting
+campaign. The route, which ran chiefly through main thoroughfares,
+extended to the length of four miles. Thanks to the exertions of all
+arms of the service, the distance was traversed in about three hours.
+Every inch of the ground was hotly contested, but the omnibus at
+length won the day. The losses on our side consisted of a colonel
+killed, and seventy-four rank-and-file wounded. The casualties on
+the side of the strikers were infinitely more numerous.</p>
+
+<p>On reaching my destination, I made for home in a balloon, thus
+escaping any further molestation.</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h3>PRESENTED AT COURT.</h3>
+
+<p class="ind"><span class="sc">Dear Mr. Punch</span>,&mdash;I notice that "an original dramatic caricature"
+is being played at the Court Theatre, under the title of
+<i>Vanity Fair</i>. To prevent mistakes, I write to say at once that I am
+on the eve of constructing a three-volume novel, called <i>Hamlet, Prince
+of Denmark</i>; a poem, called <i>Box and Cox</i>; and a satire, called
+<i>Macaulay's History of England</i>. I merely mention this fact to
+protect my copyright in the names I have chosen for my new works.
+I have also in contemplation the writing of a book to be entitled
+<i>Adam Bede</i>, a novelette, to be known as <i>King Solomon's Mines</i>,
+and a story to be y'clept <i>Treasure Island</i>. May I add that I have
+also some pantomimes and eccentric ballets nearly ready that will be
+christened, when completed,&mdash;<i>Esmond</i>, <i>The Virginians</i>, <i>The
+Newcomes</i>,
+<i>Philip</i>, and last, but not least, <i>Pendennis</i>.</p>
+
+<p class="author">Yours truly,  <span class="sc">Nothing if not Original</span>.</p>
+
+<p class="ind">P.S.&mdash;I am thinking of adopting as a <i>nom de plume</i> the signature
+of "<span class="sc">William Makepeace Thackeray</span>."</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page206" id="page206"></a>[pg 206]</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width:500px;"><a href="images/206-1200.png"><img src="images/206-400.png" width="400" height="499" alt="HIS FAVOURITE SUBJECT." /></a>
+<h3 class="sans">HIS FAVOURITE SUBJECT.</h3>
+
+<p><i>Imperial Artist.</i> "<span class="sc">Wish I could have got it done in time for the Royal
+Academy. Sure to have been accepted.</span>"</p>
+
+<p>[&nbsp;<span class="aster">*<sub>*</sub>*</span>&nbsp; The Emperor of <span class="sc">Germany</span> has recently painted a sea-piece.]</p></div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page207" id="page207"></a>[pg 207]</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a href="images/207-1500.png"><img src="images/207-600.png" width="600" height="446" alt="1886. 1896." /></a>
+</div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h3>HIS FAVOURITE SUBJECT.</h3>
+
+<p class="title1"><i>Distinguished Amateur soliloquiseth:</i>&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem width24">  <div class="stanza">
+<p><i>There!!!</i> Egotistic ways are my abhorrence;</p>
+<p class="i2">But if this masterpiece were only hung</p>
+<p>In the Uffizi Gallery at Florence,</p>
+<p class="i2">Where <span class="sc">Leighton</span>, like a god, ambrosial, young,</p>
+<p>And <span class="sc">Millais</span>, in immortal manhood, stand,</p>
+<p class="i2">Self-limned, for admiration of posterity,</p>
+<p>I fancy that this work of my right hand</p>
+<p class="i2">Would quite eclipse mere Genius, whose temerity</p>
+<p>In challenging comparison with <span class="sc">Birth</span></p>
+<p class="i2">Is really getting something unendurable.</p>
+<p>Aha! It moves me to sardonic mirth!</p>
+<p class="i2">To dream of <i>my</i> position as securable</p>
+<p>By mere Bismarckian brain!!! Now, as the god,</p>
+<p class="i2"><i>I</i> come out admirably. Form and stature,</p>
+<p>The threatening eye, and the earth-shaking nod,</p>
+<p class="i2">All, all to me are simply second nature.</p>
+<p>Globe-trampling foot, and hand that grips the bolt,&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">Aye, and the lyre when I would play Apollo&mdash;</p>
+<p>Are mine! Will low-born Genius dare revolt,</p>
+<p class="i2">Or where <i>I</i> lead Greatness decline to follow?</p>
+<p>Absurd! I hardly know in what great guise</p>
+<p class="i2">To paint my greatness! I have sung of Ægir,</p>
+<p>But he was but a sea-god, and his size</p>
+<p class="i2">And strength compared with mine were small and meagre.</p>
+<p>I am a Joint-stock Deity, as 'twere,</p>
+<p class="i2">Olympus in a nutshell, Neptune, Mars,</p>
+<p>The Cloud-Compeller and the Sungod fair.</p>
+<p class="i2">Here I'm pure Jove. And yet somehow it jars</p>
+<p>Upon my spirit to be so restricted</p>
+<p class="i2">To one immortal guise, however grand.</p>
+<p>Hah! Gods by their own pencils thus depicted</p>
+<p class="i2">Would make a New Valhalla e'en <i>my</i> hand</p>
+<p>Need not disdain to add to. If Narcissus</p>
+<p class="i2">Had been a painter, now! There is no stream,</p>
+<p>Though clear as my own Rhine or the Ilissus,</p>
+<p class="i2">Could do me justice. I must <i>paint</i> my dream</p>
+<p>Of my Supernal Self. A mere reflection</p>
+<p class="i2">From Nature's mirror would but mar my beauty.</p>
+<p>No; I must limn myself for the inspection</p>
+<p class="i2">Of men and gods; it is a simple duty.</p>
+<p><i>This</i> does not satisfy me. And it is</p>
+<p class="i2">Too late, I fear, for Grandmamma's R.A.</p>
+<p>Besides, those English journalists <i>might</i> quiz</p>
+<p class="i2">Even Imperial Art. They've their own way</p>
+<p>Too much by far in that ill-ordered isle,</p>
+<p class="i2">Those cheeky critic-fellows. Let <i>me</i> catch</p>
+<p>A Teuton quill-driver who'll dare to smile</p>
+<p class="i2">Upon a masterpiece he cannot match!!!</p>
+</div> <div class="stanza">
+
+<p class="i28">[<i>Left touching it up.</i></p>
+</div>  </div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h3>Literary.</h3>
+
+<p class="ind3">A book is announced entitled <i>Irish Humour
+through English Glasses</i>. It will be
+followed, we hope, by a companion volume,
+entitled <i>English (ill) Humour through Irish
+(Whisky) Glasses</i>.</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h2>OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.</h2>
+
+<p>Messrs. <span class="sc">Blackwood</span> are issuing a standard
+edition of the works of <span class="sc">George Eliot</span>. <i>Adam
+Bede</i>, of course, comes first, admirably
+printed in dainty volumes of blue and gold.
+Glancing over the work brings back to the
+memory of my Baronite a certain schoolboy
+who, instead of going home to dinner, used
+to spend the interval in the reading-room of
+a free library, literally dining off <i>Adam Bede</i>,
+then just out. It will be interesting to observe
+how far the public of to-day, more especially
+the young men and maidens who read novels,
+will take to <span class="sc">George Eliot</span>. In this new
+standard edition opportunity, alike in respect
+of charm and cheapness, is made alluring.</p>
+
+<p><i>The Curse of Intellect</i> is an unattractive
+title, suggestive rather of a series of essays
+on the melancholy lives of certain geniuses
+than of the weird tale&mdash;for such it is&mdash;of
+a Man-Monkey. This story, published by
+Messrs. <span class="sc">Blackwood</span>, and written by <span class="sc">Machiavelli
+Colin Clout</span>, is a modern version
+of <i>Frankenstein</i>, the distinction being that,
+whereas <i>Frankenstein</i> constructed his own
+monster, the hero of this romance, one <i>Reuben
+Power</i>, finds a monster ready to hand in a kind
+of "Mr. Gorilla," whom he educates to speak
+a strange language, also to read, write, and
+think in excellent English. This Converted
+Ape kills his maker, and then considerately
+puts an end to his own miserable existence; he
+does not, however, possess a soul (<i>Frankenstein's</i>
+Monster was also deficient in this
+respect). "For O it is such a 'norrible tale;"
+and, except to those who occasionally enjoy
+"a 'norrible tale," this cannot be recommended
+by</p>
+
+<p class="author"><span class="sc">The Baron de B.-W.</span></p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page208" id="page208"></a>[pg 208]</span></p>
+
+<h2 class="sans">BLIND ALLEY-GORIES.</h2>
+
+<p class="title2"><span class="sc">By Dunno Währiar.</span></p>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>Translated from the original Lappish by Mr. Punch's own
+Hyperborean Enthusiast.</i>)</p>
+
+<h3><span class="sc">No. III.</span>&mdash;<span class="sc">A Socratic Experiment.</span></h3>
+
+<p>The other day I went out for a walk. My thoughts circled round
+my head like bees in a bonnet, and detached themselves slowly from
+the loose white honeycomb of my brain to mirror themselves in my
+soul, as is usual with me on
+such occasions. And, somewhere
+round the corner, a
+voice lurked calling out remarks&mdash;what
+I knew not, only
+that they were of a highly
+personal character. The people
+I met stared at me, and I
+stared at them, for I had a
+presentiment that they were
+talking about me, but I took
+no notice of them&mdash;beyond informing
+them that they were
+cowards and blowflies, and requesting to be informed why they enclosed
+their dirty interiors in glass. For I am Young <span class="sc">Garnaway</span>,
+and when I take a walk, I generally exchange amenities of this
+kind with any persons I happen to meet.</p>
+
+<p>At the Market Place, my friend the Tallow-chandler sat inside his
+shop, dozing under a pale canopy of farthing dips.</p>
+
+<p>"Answer me a question," I begged of him. "Why does one yearn
+for the top brick off the chimney when one is a child, and yet feel
+dissatisfied when, as a man, one receives it on the top of one's
+Sunday tile? Why does the sea bird fly inland in winter to get food
+from the towns&mdash;only to turn up its beak when presented with a
+ticket for soup? Why do we&mdash;&mdash;?"</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;"><a href="images/208-1000.png"><img src="images/208-400.png" width="400" height="129" alt="'A clear and practical illustration.'" /></a>
+<p class="center">"A clear and practical illustration."</p></div>
+
+<p>My friend the Tallow-chandler answered never a word, but
+chuckled foolishly to himself and retired behind a barrier of mottled
+soap.</p>
+
+<p>When I had gone a piece further I reached a back street, where I
+found my friend the Bird-stuffer sitting on his doorstep, playing the
+mouth-organ.</p>
+
+<p>"Answer me a question," I besought him. "Suppose you found
+out that those who hold the reins of government in our town were
+educating large blue-bottle flies to make apricot jam out of your and
+your neighbours' pig-wash, would you write to the local paper about
+it, even if you knew that the editor would decline to insert your
+letter?"</p>
+
+<p>My friend answered never a
+word; he only giggled in
+embarrassment, struck up a
+mazurka on his mouth-organ,
+and began to dance sheepishly.</p>
+
+<p>But, down in Mud Alley, my
+friend the Dustcart-man sat
+at his open window&mdash;a family
+idyll, wife and six small children,
+all eating onions and
+fried fish.</p>
+
+<p>"Answer me a question," I
+prayed him. "If a person came to you and said rudely, 'Better
+anything else than sitting here with your head in the domestic halter
+among the potsherds and puffballs of the old ideals; rather a jolly
+good row that ends in a fortnight's "hard" than fat-headed, elephant-footed
+dulness here with your buzzing brood around you!' If a
+person came to you and said that, what reply would you give him?"</p>
+
+<p>My friend answered never a word; he was out of the window
+before I had time to walk away; and in a very few moments I received
+a clear and practical illustration of the sort of reply he would
+give to such a question.</p>
+
+<p>As for me, I limped home as well as I could, and, when evening fell,
+and I was done up in brown paper and vinegar, both my eyes gleamed
+in the evening sun with the iridescent glitter of peacocks' tails.</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h3 class="sans">"FOR THIS RELIEF, MUCH THANKS!"</h3>
+
+<p class="ind2">["Fort Chitral, April 20.&mdash;Colonel <span class="sc">Kelly's</span>
+force from Gilghit arrived to-day.... Much sickness
+from bad food, excessive work, and exposure.
+Conduct of troops admirable.... The discipline,
+devotion, and fortitude displayed by all ranks
+under circumstances which required all those
+qualities are beyond all praise."&mdash;<i>Dr. Robertson's
+Summary of the Siege of Chitral.</i>]</p>
+
+<div class="poem width24">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>"Small time, but, in that small, most greatly liv'd</p>
+<p class="i2">This star of England."</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i10"><i>Chorus: King Henry the Fifth</i>, Act V., Scene 2.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<div class="poem width24">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>Only one more "little war,"&mdash;of course,</p>
+<p>Precipitate pluck, and inadequate force&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">Such wars as our England wages</p>
+<p>At terrible cost in British lives,</p>
+<p>And orphan children and widowed wives,</p>
+<p>Whereat, though greatly our glory thrives,</p>
+<p class="i2">Our conscience sometimes rages.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>But such little wars may need great hearts,</p>
+<p>And the wandering heroes who play their parts</p>
+<p class="i2">For England, the wide world over;</p>
+<p>Fight as well though they fight&mdash;and fall&mdash;</p>
+<p>In a leagured hut, by a shattered wall,</p>
+<p>As though the purple of <span class="sc">Wellington's</span> pall</p>
+<p class="i2">Each death-cold breast should cover.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>Devotion, fortitude, discipline? Yes!</p>
+<p>They always shine in the perilous press,</p>
+<p class="i2">Where British soldiers rally.</p>
+<p>Shine as bright in the hopeless dark</p>
+<p>Of the mad <i>mêlée</i>, though there's none to mark</p>
+<p>The scattered wreckage ruddy and stark</p>
+<p class="i2">Of the last brave stand or sally.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>We rejoice to hear, though we knew we should,</p>
+<p>Chitral's defenders again made good</p>
+<p class="i2">The glorious old tradition</p>
+<p>Of loyalty to the flying flag.</p>
+<p>Cynics may dub it the torn red rag,</p>
+<p>But our tongues shall laud, whilst those tongues can wag,</p>
+<p class="i2">That splendid "superstition."</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>The men who stood, and the men who came</p>
+<p>O'er ice-bound ridges with hearts aflame,</p>
+<p class="i2">To relieve their leagured brothers,</p>
+<p>Have all done well; and the tawny skin</p>
+<p>Of those who helped us to war and win,&mdash;</p>
+<p>Well, your little Englander's less akin</p>
+<p class="i2">To England than those others!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>"For this relief, much thanks!" And thanks</p>
+<p>To dead, and living, and of all ranks.</p>
+<p class="i2">Forget their service? Never!</p>
+<p>"Small time," indeed, but as brightly shone</p>
+<p>"This star of England," as it had done</p>
+<p>On that stricken field when the lurid sun</p>
+<p class="i2">Of the Corsican sank for ever.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h2 class="sq">A FIRST STEP<br />
+
+<small>TOWARDS HISTRIONICS.</small></h2>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>Under the guidance of Herr Goethemann.</i>)</p>
+
+<ul class="none">
+<li><i>Question.</i> Have you witnessed the performance
+of the Actor-manager?</li>
+
+<li><i>Answer.</i> No, but I have perused the tragedy
+of the Author-publisher.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> Is it a curtain-raiser?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> No, but it is a hair-lifter, in three acts.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> How many are the persons of the drama?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> Four.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> Of these, how many are objectionable?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> Five.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> Kindly resolve this paradox.</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> All are objectionable that come on the
+stage, and one that doesn't.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> You speak of the stage; where has the
+play been given?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> Nowhere. It has not received a license.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> Is it the close season?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> No, but so much private license was
+taken by the Author-publisher that the public
+censor did not see his way to adding to the
+amount.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> Then we shall not see it interpreted by
+intelligent actors?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> No, for even if license were granted,
+the Author-publisher would take all the
+parts himself.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> I do not follow this scheme of plurality.</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> I quote from his own printed advertisement,
+"The right of performing in public
+this play (<i>sic</i>) is reserved by the author."</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> Did you state that it is a tragedy?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> Yes, but inclining to farce.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> Does it move the reader to pity and terror?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> Yes, both. Pity for himself, and terror
+of the next thing of the kind that he may
+have to read.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> Has it any other of the high qualities
+of the Greek Tragedy?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> It says it has the unities.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> A severe attack?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> No, the Norwegian kind; a form of
+Teutonic measles, painful but transitory.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> Is it heroic?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> No, but it is suburban.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> Is the conclusion worthy of a great
+tragedy? Does it end in a lurid light of
+whole-souled passion and death?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> It ends about 4 <span class="sc">A.M.</span> the next day,
+with a cock crowing. The protagonist has
+come home intoxicated, and remains so.
+I regret to add that he pushes the heroine,
+she having displaced his beverage by breaking
+the glass. She slaps him upon the face,
+and eventually loses animation. I do not
+know how the other two end, because they
+were not home in time for the curtain. As
+it was, the Author-publisher nearly spoilt
+one of the unities through waiting for them.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> All must be well that ends so well.
+Is there a problem or enigma?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> There is always the insoluble riddle&mdash;why
+did he write it?</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> Is it full of situations?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> Not inconveniently so; but there is a
+dramatic moment.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> Which?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> I do not know.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> Then why do you say there is one?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> Because the Author-publisher says so.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> But is it not wasteful to have three
+acts, and only one dramatic moment?</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> I should have thought so; but the
+Author-publisher says he has shown economy.</li>
+
+<li><i>Q.</i> Could you give me an idea of the manner?
+Select a striking incident or a passage where
+there is subtle characterisation.</li>
+
+<li><i>A.</i> One situation impressed me very much.
+I think it must have been the dramatic
+moment. I reserve it for my next.</li>
+</ul>
+
+<p class="center">(<i>To be continued.</i>)</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page209" id="page209"></a>[pg 209]</span></p>
+
+<h3 class="sans">FILIA PULCHRA, MATER PULCHRIOR.</h3>
+
+<div class="poem width21">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>I loved a girl, divinely sweet,</p>
+<p class="i2">An unsophisticated creature;</p>
+<p>I did not scruple to repeat</p>
+<p>She was divine, you could not meet</p>
+<p class="i2">More charms displayed in form and feature.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>I loved her youthful grace, her slight</p>
+<p class="i2">And dainty form, an angel's seeming.</p>
+<p>Crowned by sweet hair, as dark as night,</p>
+<p>Her face would charm an artist's sight,</p>
+<p class="i2">A poet's thoughts, a lover's dreaming.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>I loved her dark and lustrous eyes,</p>
+<p class="i2">Which love might light with glowing passion,</p>
+<p>Her lips, her neck&mdash;you will surmise</p>
+<p>I wrote her rhymes, all tears and sighs</p>
+<p class="i2">In lovesick versifier's fashion.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>I loved her like a childish pet,</p>
+<p class="i2">I felt I could not love another,</p>
+<p>Until the day when first I met</p>
+<p>Her widowed mother, charming yet,</p>
+<p class="i2">And now, instead, I love her mother.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>I love the woman, for the rose,</p>
+<p class="i2">Full blown, excels the rosebud's beauty,</p>
+<p>Nor think of girlish charms since those</p>
+<p>No more inspire my Muse, which shows</p>
+<p class="i2">My Muse is fit for any duty.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>I love her, stately as a queen</p>
+<p class="i2">Whom <span class="sc">Veronese</span> might have painted,</p>
+<p>Blue-eyed, with hair of golden sheen&mdash;</p>
+<p>That's just the one thing which has been</p>
+<p class="i2">A trouble since we've been acquainted.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>I love not charms I loved before,</p>
+<p class="i2">Dark as the night, or, say a hearse is.</p>
+<p>Now auburn beauty pleases more,</p>
+<p>My wasted hours I deplore&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">I've had to alter all those verses.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<p class="ind1"><span class="sc">Epping and Overstepping.</span>&mdash;At
+a meeting of forest borderers, Wanstead,
+it was asserted that since the
+Corporation had had control of the
+forest, upwards of 100,000 trees had
+been felled. If true, the members of
+the Corporation-Epping-Forest-Committee
+will henceforth be known as
+"those fellers!"</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 230px;"><a href="images/209a-900.png"><img src="images/209a-230.png" width="230" height="495" alt="'ANIMAL SPIRITS.'" /></a>
+<h3 class="sans">"ANIMAL SPIRITS."</h3>
+
+<p><span class="sc">No. XII.&mdash;Outside Exeter Hall.</span></p></div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h3>TO CIRCE.</h3>
+
+<div class="poem width21">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>"If doughty deeds my lady please,"</p>
+<p class="i2">Though somewhat old and gouty,</p>
+<p>The first occasion I will seize</p>
+<p class="i2">Of doing something "doughty";</p>
+<p>"If gay attire delights your eye,</p>
+<p> I'll dight me in array"</p>
+<p>Which every casual passer-by</p>
+<p class="i2">Will think extremely gay.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>"If sweetest sounds can win your ear,"</p>
+<p class="i2">I'll cheerfully begin</p>
+<p>(Though somewhat late in life, I fear),</p>
+<p class="i2">To learn the violin;</p>
+<p>In fact, whatever task you set,</p>
+<p class="i2">You'll speedily discover</p>
+<p>That in the writer you have met</p>
+<p class="i2">A most submissive lover.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>I could exemplify the fact</p>
+<p class="i2">Through several extra verses,</p>
+<p>How I would please, by every act,</p>
+<p class="i2">My kindliest of <span class="sc">Circe's</span>;</p>
+<p>And yet by destiny malign</p>
+<p class="i2">You've happened just to choose</p>
+<p>The single task which, though divine</p>
+<p class="i2">The bidder, I refuse.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>The single task&mdash;and pardon, pray,</p>
+<p class="i2">If, not without compunction,</p>
+<p>Reluctantly I disobey</p>
+<p class="i2">Your positive injunction:</p>
+<p>Ask what you will, I'll undertake</p>
+<p class="i2">The deed, however big,</p>
+<p>But do not&mdash;&mdash;blind my eyes and make</p>
+<p class="i2">Me try to draw a pig!</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h3>TO A PICTURE.</h3>
+
+<div class="poem width21">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>You pretty face, upon my wall,</p>
+<p class="i2">Enshrined in glass and oak and gold,</p>
+<p>Most charming deaf-mute&mdash;and withal</p>
+<p>My confidante&mdash;whate'er befall,</p>
+<p class="i2">My trust in you will rest untold,</p>
+<p class="i10">You pretty face!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>What do they call you? Is it "Spring"?</p>
+<p class="i2">Or "Blossoms"? or "The Coming Race"?&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">It matters not in any case,</p>
+<p>Your name may be just anything</p>
+<p class="i2">For all I care, you pretty face.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>You bring me back old scenes anew,</p>
+<p class="i2">You've something of my lady's grace,</p>
+<p class="i2">Of her sweet features just a trace,</p>
+<p>And so I have re-christened you&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">I won't say what&mdash;you pretty face!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>I have no portrait to recall</p>
+<p class="i2">The sweetest of all maids to me,</p>
+<p>Nor have I need of one at all,</p>
+<p>Yet, seeing you upon my wall,</p>
+<p class="i2">By pleasing "make-believe" I see</p>
+<p class="i10">Her pretty face!</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h2>BABY'S DIARY.</h2>
+
+<p class="center">["The Nursery Tricycle contains two seats, one for the mistress and one
+for the maid and her charge, and has two pairs of pedals."&mdash;<i>Daily Paper.</i>]</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 180px;"><a href="images/209b-360.png"><img src="images/209b-180.png" width="180" height="245" alt="Baby's Diary" /></a></div>
+
+<p>This is rather fun! Ever so much better than those crawling
+old mail-carts and perambulators. Wonder mother and
+nurse never thought of it before. A pneumatic tandem,
+too, I notice. Hope they understand blowing tire up
+again when it bursts.</p>
+
+<p>Nurse a duffer at pedalling. A mere passenger! Have
+to keep her up to the mark by crying. Frightened a
+pony in a trap. Sarcastic driver said, "<i>You</i> don't want
+a bell to <i>your</i> machine with that child yelling like a
+tom-cat on fire." Gives me a hint&mdash;I must see how our
+cat <i>does</i> yell when it's on fire.</p>
+
+<p>Really, I never saw such steering! Mother has just
+run us into a brick wall. Disgraceful! Why wasn't
+she taught tricycling when she was young? Her education
+has certainly been horribly neglected.</p>
+
+<p>Why should I sit in the middle, though? Can't see
+the country properly. Make another protest&mdash;louder, if
+possible. Passing pedestrian observes, "You should call your machine
+a crycycle, not a tricycle." Put out my tongue at him. Nurse offers to
+give me a "pick-a-back"; says she can pedal too! The old humbug!
+Scratch her face. Mother offers me a seat on front handle. Not half bad.</p>
+
+<p>Fresh air makes one uncommonly hungry. Time for my bottle.
+Insist on my outriders stopping at a public for milk.
+Find the pony, trap, and sarcastic driver stopping there
+too. Latter says to Mother, "So you've brought the
+infant phenomenon with you, Ma'am!" Wonder what
+he means. He adds something about a "fog-horn."
+Rude, I fancy.</p>
+
+<p>Back homewards. Awfully sleepy after that milk.
+Curious milk. Perhaps sarcastic person drugged it to quiet
+me? Fast asleep. Wakened by crash! Stars! Oh, <i>what</i>
+is it? Try to yell&mdash;can't&mdash;mouth full of something.</p>
+
+<p>Later. In my cot, thank Heaven! Heard doctor say,
+"Severe shock, but no bones broken." Awful headache.
+Seems that break went wrong going down-hill.
+Well, no "safety tandem" for <i>me</i> again&mdash;can't <i>stand
+'em</i>, myself, not being in favour of infanticide. Give
+<i>me</i> a good old mail cart!</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page210" id="page210"></a>[pg 210]</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a href="images/210-1500.png"><img src="images/210-600.png" width="600" height="381" alt="FELINE AMENITIES." /></a>
+<h3 class="sans">FELINE AMENITIES.</h3>
+
+<p><i>Miss Tregushing.</i> "<span class="sc">Oh yes! there are such <i>lovely</i> Seas and Skies
+in Cornwall, and such Rocks and Caves&mdash;and Seals&mdash;and
+the <i>most</i> magnificent wild Waves you ever saw&mdash;and&mdash;&mdash;</span>"</p>
+
+<p><i>Mrs. Frou-Frou.</i> "<span class="sc">But no Dress-makers, I suppose!</span>"</p></div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h2>JOHN STANDS ALOOF.</h2>
+
+<p class="title2a">(<span class="sc">Shimonoseki, 1895.</span>)</p>
+
+<p class="ind3">["Circumstances might arise, of course, in
+which we should feel called upon to safeguard our
+interests, but so far we discern no adequate ground
+for interference."&mdash;<i>The "Times" on the Joint
+Protest of Russia, France and Germany against the
+annexation portion of the Treaty of Shimonoseki.</i>]</p>
+
+<p class="title1"><span class="sc">Air</span>&mdash;"<i>The Heathen Chinee.</i>"</p>
+
+<p class="title1"><span class="sc">John Bull</span> <i>sings:</i>&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem width21">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>I stand by, and I mark,</p>
+<p class="i2">And I see some things plain;</p>
+<p>And the looks that are dark</p>
+<p class="i2">At the <span class="sc">Jap's</span> game, and gain,</p>
+<p>From that Heathen Chinee, are peculiar;</p>
+<p class="i2">But aloof <i>I</i>'m content to remain!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p><span class="sc">Ah Sin</span> at the game</p>
+<p class="i2">Thought him chipper and spry;</p>
+<p>But he's "spoofed" all the same&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">(Whatsome'er <i>that</i> imply)&mdash;</p>
+<p>And his smile is less pensive and childlike</p>
+<p class="i2">Than when he once played with <span class="sc">Bill Nye</span>.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>Little <span class="sc">Jap</span> <i>looked</i> absurd&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">As regarding mere size&mdash;</p>
+<p>And some people inferred</p>
+<p class="i2">He was feeble likewise;</p>
+<p>Yet he's played it this time upon <span class="sc">Johnny</span></p>
+<p class="i2">In a way it's scarce safe to despise.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>In the saffron pair's game</p>
+<p class="i2">I did not take a hand.</p>
+<p>Some conceived that the same</p>
+<p class="i2"><span class="sc">Jap</span> did not understand;</p>
+<p>But his grin somehow soon turned the tables</p>
+<p class="i2">On "the smile that was childlike and bland."</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>'Tis a theme for <span class="sc">Bret Harte</span>,</p>
+<p class="i2">P'raps he only could show</p>
+<p>The artful <span class="sc">Jap's</span> art&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">If I may put it so&mdash;</p>
+<p>In a way which is worthy the subject.</p>
+<p class="i2">But <i>me</i> interfere, gents? Why, no!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>If <span class="sc">Jap's</span> cards had been stocked&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">Which I do not believe&mdash;</p>
+<p>Had our feelings been shocked</p>
+<p class="i2">By the state of <span class="sc">Jap's</span> sleeve;</p>
+<p>We might have had reason for charging</p>
+<p class="i2">The same with intent to deceive.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>But the hands he has played</p>
+<p class="i2">With that Heathen Chinee,</p>
+<p>And the points he has made,</p>
+<p class="i2">Are, as far as I see,</p>
+<p>The result of good play <i>plus</i> good fortune;</p>
+<p class="i2">And <i>does</i> it concern you or me?</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>The Russ standing by</p>
+<p class="i2">Turned his glance upon me.</p>
+<p>(For the <span class="sc">Jap's</span> pile <i>was</i> high.)</p>
+<p class="i2">And he hissed, "Shall this be?</p>
+<p>Must I have this smart <span class="sc">Jap</span> for a neighbour?</p>
+<p class="i2">Shall <i>he</i> clear out the Heathen Chinee?"</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>Swarthy <span class="sc">François</span> looked glum,</p>
+<p class="i2">Ginger <span class="sc">Hans</span> rubbed his chin:</p>
+<p>But I smoked and stood mum,</p>
+<p class="i2">As the <span class="sc">Jap</span> raked the tin.</p>
+<p>Then I says, "He's played fairly and squarely.</p>
+<p class="i2">So what call have <i>we</i> to cut in?</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>"In the game, as you know,</p>
+<p class="i2">You would not take a hand,</p>
+<p>But a short while ago;</p>
+<p class="i2">So let <span class="sc">Jappy</span> now land</p>
+<p>The stakes, and <span class="sc">Ah Sin</span> take his hiding</p>
+<p class="i2">At the game his foe <i>does</i> understand.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>"<span class="sc">Johnny</span> thought himself strong</p>
+<p class="i2">At that game; but the facts</p>
+<p>Seem to prove he was wrong;</p>
+<p class="i2">And unwisely he acts</p>
+<p>In howling at getting in warfare</p>
+<p class="i2">What's frequent in warfare&mdash;that's whacks!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>"Which is why I remark,</p>
+<p class="i2">And my purpose is plain,</p>
+<p>That looks that are dark</p>
+<p class="i2">At the <span class="sc">Jappy</span> are vain.</p>
+<p>And, although you may think me peculiar,</p>
+<p class="i2">Aloof&mdash;for the time&mdash;I remain!"</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<p class="ind"><span class="sc">Something in the Way of "Great
+Expectations.</span>"&mdash;When <span class="sc">Jabez S. Balfour</span>
+arrives, no doubt his first visit will be to the
+editor of the <i>Penny Illustrated Paper</i>, in
+which paper appeared the portrait of him as
+"Mayor of <span class="sc">Croydon</span>," wearing his chain of
+office&mdash;alas! the chain!&mdash;that led directly to
+his identification and arrest. The photograph
+was taken first and <span class="sc">Jabez</span> was taken afterwards.
+Will <span class="sc">Jabez S. Balfour</span> call in at the
+office of the <i>P. I. P.</i> and say, with <i>Joe Gargery</i>,
+"Ever the best of friends, ain't us,
+<i>P. I. P.</i>?" Not quite likely.</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<p class="ind2"><span class="sc">Proposed Change of Name.</span>&mdash;If Sir
+<span class="sc">Whittaker Ellis</span> agrees to the scheme for
+adding Bute House Estate&mdash;a Bute-iful property&mdash;to
+Richmond Park, thus preserving it
+from the builders, then will he be gratefully
+remembered as "<span class="sc">Wiseacre Ellis</span>."</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<p class="center">"<span class="sc">Bar Gold.</span>"&mdash;Fees to barristers.</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page211" id="page211"></a>[pg 211]</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a href="images/211-1500.png"><img src="images/211-600.png" width="600" height="462" alt="JOHN STANDS ALOOF." /></a>
+<h2><big>JOHN STANDS ALOOF.</big></h2>
+
+<p><span class="sc">Russia</span>. "IS HE TO HAVE ALL <i>THIS?</i>"</p>
+
+<p><span class="sc">John Bull</span>. "WELL&mdash;HE'S PLAYED A SQUARE GAME&mdash;<i>I</i> DON'T SEE ANY
+CALL TO INTERFERE!"</p></div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page212" id="page212"></a>[pg 212]</span><br /></p>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page213" id="page213"></a>[pg 213]</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;"><a href="images/213-700.png"><img src="images/213-240.png" width="240" height="484" alt="MAY I. THE SWEEPS' FESTIVAL." /></a>
+<h3 class="sans">MAY I. &nbsp;&nbsp;THE SWEEPS' FESTIVAL.</h3>
+
+<p><span class="sc">A Study in Black and White.</span> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<span class="aster">*<sub>*</sub>*</span>&nbsp; <span class="sc">Nice for Next Fare.</span></p></div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h3>REMARKABLE INSTANCE OF SAGACITY IN GROUSE.</h3>
+
+<p>To <i>The Field</i> of April 20, Mr. <span class="sc">Frederick Milbank</span> wrote about
+the "Monument to a Grouse Shooter" on Wimmergill Moor. Mr.
+<span class="sc">Milbank</span> considered the number of grouse he had bagged as constituting
+a "record," and so caused a monument to be erected on the
+spot sacred to the memory of four thousand brace of grouse shot
+in six days by five guns with one extra gun on the sixth day.
+The monument, being erected, <i>scared the grouse away</i>. Of course
+they read the sad story, held a council, and decided that as long
+as <span class="sc">F. A. Milbank</span> was anywhere about, within shot, they would
+preserve themselves by avoiding him. Subsequently the monument
+was removed to Bamingham in North Yorkshire. But the North
+Yorkshire birds are quite indifferent to this tale from The Hills.
+They wink the other eye, that is until such time as <span class="sc">Frederick A.
+Milbank</span> shall show them the sort of gun <i>he</i> is, and then they'll be
+sorry for not having taken warning earlier, unless they possess the
+sagacity of the grouse of Wimmergill, which resembles that of <i>Mr.
+Jingle's</i> dog, who read the inscription on the board, "Gamekeeper has
+orders to shoot all dogs found in this inclosure," and "wouldn't pass
+it." "Singular circumstance that," said <i>Mr. Pickwick</i>. "Will
+you allow me to make a note of it?"</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h2>THE MODERN BUYER:</h2>
+
+<p class="center"><span class="sc">Growls of Modern "Masters."</span></p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Royal Academy, Burlington House, May 3, 1895.</i></p>
+
+<div class="poem width27">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>The "Old Masters" over, the New make a start.</p>
+<p class="i2">Another year's past and another year's come;</p>
+<p>And Fame blows a blast on her trumpet, and Art</p>
+<p class="i12">Beats her drum!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>"Walk Up!!" An example is set by the Court;</p>
+<p class="i2">And Society hastens&mdash;a feverish throng;</p>
+<p>A mere glance at the pictures, for life is but short&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i12">And Art's long!</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>Three artists looked on with a cynical smile&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">One needy Outsider, and two rich R.A.'s</p>
+<p>(Both walking on velvet, because of the pile</p>
+<p class="i12">They could raise).</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>They discussed the "Art Patron"&mdash;in all of that crowd</p>
+<p class="i2">An <i>avis</i> that's <i>rara</i> and <i>rara</i> each year.</p>
+<p>And these are the words that they spoke, and allowed</p>
+<p class="i12">Me to hear:&mdash;</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<p class="center"><i>First R.A.</i></p>
+
+<div class="poem width27">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>"Now, to none do I yield in my love of <span class="sc">Vandyck</span>&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">I adore the Italians&mdash;bow down to the Dutch;</p>
+<p><span class="sc">Velasquez</span> I worship, and <span class="sc">Goya</span> I like</p>
+<p class="i12">Very much.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>"But alas! for the <span class="sc">Sheepshanks</span> and <span class="sc">Vernons</span> of old&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">For the <span class="sc">Hills</span> and the rest of a connoisseur race!</p>
+<p>Old <span class="sc">Mecænas</span> has gone; and investors of gold</p>
+<p class="i12">Take his place."</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Second R.A.</i></p>
+
+<div class="poem width27">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>"'Old Masters' they buy&mdash;any ancient design&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">Eighteen-thirty or so is the latest they'll own;</p>
+<p>None but 'made reputations'&mdash;no work, howe'er fine,</p>
+<p class="i12">If unknown."</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Outsider.</i></p>
+
+<div class="poem width27">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>"Their Art's in their bankers'-books, not in their eyes</p>
+<p class="i2">To encourage the artist is none of their plan;</p>
+<p>They seek an investment that's likely to rise&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i12">To a man.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>"Do they think that fine art nowhere else can be seen</p>
+<p class="i2">But in saint that is squint-eyed, or boor that is drunk,</p>
+<p>In brown tree, Dutch canal, man with ruff, or the lean</p>
+<p class="i12">Spanish monk?"</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Second R.A.</i></p>
+
+<div class="poem width27">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>"Just reflect to what artists of old had been brought</p>
+<p class="i2">(Such as <span class="sc">Reynolds</span>, or <span class="sc">Raphael</span>, or <span class="sc">Phidias</span> the Greek)</p>
+<p>Had their patrons informed them they meant to buy nought</p>
+<p class="i12">But antique!"</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Outsider.</i></p>
+
+<div class="poem width27">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>"Then, <i>our</i> drawing is better&mdash;our atmosphere too.</p>
+<p class="i2"><i>Plein air</i> was ignored, or they voted it vice.</p>
+<p>As to '<i>values</i>,' 'twas little they thought of or knew&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i12">Save of price."</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<p class="center"><i>First R.A.</i></p>
+
+<div class="poem width27">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>"When men buy modern art, they buy Leightons and Moores</p>
+<p class="i2">And Sargents and Swans and the rest of our lot;</p>
+<p>But as to their <i>knowledge</i>&mdash;like mine or like yours&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i12">Tommy rot!"</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Second R.A.</i></p>
+
+<div class="poem width27">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>"Do you think they appreciate <span class="sc">Lewis's</span> skies&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">Do they care if they're worked up in stipple or wash?</p>
+<p>Do you think it's the <i>Art</i> (not the money) they prize?</p>
+<p class="i12">Simply bosh!"</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Outsider.</i></p>
+
+<div class="poem width27">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>"No. They judge not by Art&mdash;they judge only by fame;</p>
+<p class="i2">And the artist may starve on his poor pallet-bed;</p>
+<p>But their hundreds and thousands they shower on his name</p>
+<p class="i12">When he's dead!&mdash;</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p>"When the two Greatest Masters&mdash;Old Varnish and Time&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">To his work superficial beauties have lent,</p>
+<p>Lo behold, they appreciate! Be it so. <i>I'm</i></p>
+<p class="i12">Quite content."</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page214" id="page214"></a>[pg 214]</span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"><a href="images/214-1500.png"><img src="images/214-600.png" width="600" height="433" alt="'1895.' THE ROYAL ACADEMY FIELD DAY." /></a>
+<h2 class="sans">"1895." THE ROYAL ACADEMY FIELD DAY.</h2></div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page215" id="page215"></a>[pg 215]</span></p>
+
+<h2>A FRIEND AT A PINCH.</h2>
+
+<p class="title1">(<i>An Utterly Impossible Incident that will never be "Reported."</i>)</p>
+
+<blockquote><p><span class="sc">Scene</span>&mdash;<i>A Court of Law. Experienced Counsel arguing
+a point in the teeth of his Lordship on the Bench.</i></p></blockquote>
+
+<p><i>His Lordship</i> (<i>angrily</i>). No, Mr. <span class="sc">Bands</span>, I really cannot
+agree with you. It seems to me that you are merely
+wasting our time, and no doubt your own.</p>
+
+<p><i>Experienced Counsel</i> (<i>politely</i>). Not at all, my Lord.
+I scarcely venture to urge the great importance of the
+matter to my client.</p>
+
+<p><i>His Lordship.</i> No doubt; and your client showed
+excellent judgment in entrusting his interests to your
+hands. Still law is law, and can never be anything else.</p>
+
+<p><i>Exp. C.</i> Your Lordship is most kind. But my point,
+my Lord, is so plain&mdash;the matter is so clear. Surely your
+Lordship must see it.</p>
+
+<p><i>His Lordship</i> (<i>with much irony</i>). It is my fault, no
+doubt, Mr. <span class="sc">Bands</span>, but as matter of fact your point is
+absolutely lost to me. I confess I cannot see it at all.</p>
+
+<p><i>Exp. C.</i> I would not propose for a moment that your
+Lordship's judgment is at fault. But I would venture to
+suggest that the atmosphere of the Court is sufficiently
+dense to cloud the clearest and most brilliant intellect.</p>
+
+<p><i>His Lordship</i> (<i>mollified</i>). There is a good deal in what
+you say, Mr. <span class="sc">Bands</span>, but of course, we must put up with
+it. There is no remedy.</p>
+
+<p><i>Exp. C.</i> With every possible respect to the Bench, my
+Lord, I would humbly suggest that there is a remedy.</p>
+
+<p><i>His Lordship.</i> Can you quote a case?</p>
+
+<p><i>Exp. C.</i> I can, at any rate, refer to an opinion.</p>
+
+<p><i>His Lordship.</i> Has it been reported?</p>
+
+<p><i>Exp. C.</i> Certainly, my Lord. You will find it in the
+Reports of the Hardwicke Society. Lord Chief Justice
+<span class="sc">Russell of Killowen</span> has laid it down that snuff is a
+most valuable assistance to the proper dispensation of
+justice. His Lordship has declared that the inhaling of
+prepared tobacco through the nostrils "clears the judicial
+brain, predisposes it to calmness and impartiality,
+and enables a learned judge to listen with patience to the
+most fluent and prolific of forensic orators." If your
+Lordship pleases.</p>
+
+<blockquote><p>
+[<i>Offers snuff-box to the Judge.</i>
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<p><i>His Lordship</i> (<i>after taking a pinch</i>). Well, certainly
+the point you have raised seems clearer to me than it did.
+(<i>After a few moments of consideration.</i>) I will reserve
+the case for further consideration, and will deliver judgment
+later.</p>
+
+<p><i>Exp. C.</i> As your Lordship pleases. I will ask the
+usher to hand my authorities to your Lordship.</p>
+
+<p><i>His Lordship</i> (<i>receiving snuff-box</i>). You are very
+good. I will not overlook their assistance in coming to a
+conclusion. I hope the occasion may never arise when I
+might be compelled, as the vulgar tongue expresses it, to
+"give you snuff."</p>
+
+<blockquote><p>
+[<i>Scene closes upon mutual courtesies.</i>
+</p></blockquote>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 385px;"><a href="images/215-1000.png"><img src="images/215-350.png" width="350" height="491" alt="'Oh, I'm glad you've got a Piano in the Rooms!'" /></a>
+<p>"<span class="sc">Oh, I'm glad you've got a Piano in the Rooms! What is it?&mdash;a Broadwood?</span>"</p>
+
+<p class="rindent">"<span class="sc">No, Mum. Myogh'ny!</span>"</p></div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h2 class="sans">ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.</h2>
+
+<p class="title1">EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.</p>
+
+<p><i>House of Commons, Monday, April 22.</i>&mdash;Easter holidays over;
+school back; new master in charge; process of installation a little
+lacking in pomp and circumstance. This due in large measure to
+incidence of holiday. At Westminster, as at other schools, boys
+don't insist, <i>vi et armis</i>, on returning on the opening day. Wide
+gaps on most of the benches; Front Opposition Bench a wilderness.
+<span class="sc">Prince Arthur</span> and all his merrie men abstained from lending to
+installation of new Speaker the grace and comfort of their presence.</p>
+
+<p>"It is quite true, dear boy," <span class="sc">Prince Arthur</span> said, when I gently
+hinted that the Leader of Opposition should have been present on
+such occasion, "that when our man was defeated I said, Mr. <span class="sc">William
+Court Gully</span> having been elected by a majority of the House, is
+representative of the whole House. But it's a long name, you know,
+and in ordinary practice I must stop short at <span class="sc">William</span>. You can't
+expect me to <span class="sc">Court Gully</span>."</p>
+
+<p>Amid depressing circumstances as far as attendance went, new
+Speaker bore himself faultlessly. Quick-change process watched
+with breathless interest from Ladies' Gallery. First, Speaker-Elect,
+preceded by Mace, entered, attired in Court dress with close-fitting
+bob-wig. At summons of Black Rod, proceeded to House of Lords;
+placed at Bar in custody of Black Rod and Sergeant-at-Arms; not
+even "accommodated with a chair." There to receive <span class="sc">Her Majesty's</span>
+sanction of choice of Speaker made by Commons. Happened that
+the <span class="sc">Queen</span> couldn't come. One of the cloaked and wigged figures
+on Woolsack mentioned the matter in charmingly casual way.</p>
+
+<p>"It not being convenient for <span class="sc">Her Majesty</span> to be personally
+present at this time," said a voice which bewrayed the <span class="sc">Lord Chancellor</span>,
+"a Commission has been issued under the Grand Seal
+empowering the Lords named therein to convey Royal Assent to
+Commons' selection of Speaker."</p>
+
+<p><span class="sc">Lord Chancellor</span> quite friendly with Speaker-Elect, whom he
+familiarly addressed as "Mr. <span class="sc">Gully</span>." Spoke highly of his talents,
+diligence, and sufficiency to fulfil important duties to which it
+had pleased majority of Commons to call him. Said he had made
+it all right with the <span class="sc">Queen</span>, and that <span class="sc">William Court</span> might go
+back
+to Commons, and get about his business. <span class="sc">Speaker</span>, not to be outdone
+in geniality, begged his anonymous friend, one of five muffled
+up in scarlet gowns, in the event of any mess being made with
+matters in the other House, to impute the blame to him alone, and
+let the other fellows go scot-free.</p>
+
+<p>Amongst crowd of Commoners clustered behind <span class="sc">Speaker</span> there
+was scarcely a dry eye when this noble sentiment was uttered.</p>
+
+<p>"Solong!" said the voice that was certainly the <span class="sc">Lord Chancellor's</span>.
+Taking this as hint to retire, <span class="sc">Speaker</span> withdrew from the Bar, and
+left the House "Without a stain on his character," as the Earl of
+<span class="sc">Cork</span> and <span class="sc">Orrery</span> handsomely said. Returned to Commons in
+procession,
+with Mace lightly but firmly carried by Sergeant-at-Arms.
+Instead of taking Chair, marched round by passage to the rear,
+disappeared from view. Consternation in Strangers' Gallery.</p>
+
+<p>"He's bolted!" one gentleman whispered to his neighbour.
+"Funked it when the music stopped and he came to the hosses."</p>
+
+<p>After few moments of growing uneasiness, a fine figure, in full-bottomed
+wig, silken gown, beneath which silver-buckled shoes
+shimmered, emerged from behind <span class="sc">Speaker's</span> Chair, and seated itself
+in it. "Order! Order!" said a full, pleasant voice; and <span class="sc">William
+Court Gully</span> entered upon what promises to be a prosperous and
+distinguished career.</p>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page216" id="page216"></a>[pg 216]</span></p>
+
+<p><span class="sc">Sark</span> tells me that, on going into Committee
+of Supply, he intends to move that
+henceforward the gallery over the Clock
+facing the Chair shall be called "The
+Speaker's Gullery." <span class="sc">Sark</span> always thinks
+of the right thing at the right time.</p>
+
+<p><i>Business done.</i>&mdash;New Speaker installed.</p>
+
+<p><i>Tuesday.</i>&mdash;The Order by which Ministers
+took Tuesdays having lapsed, private
+Members to-night came into their own
+again. Always stoutly resist incursion of
+greedy Governments on their small possessions.
+Might reasonably be supposed
+that, having come into their inheritance,
+would have made most of it. Lots of
+things to do to-night. Several resolutions
+on paper, with Orders of Day to follow.
+What happened was that by a quarter to
+nine enthusiasm finally evaporated; count
+called; only thirty-seven Members responded;
+lights forthwith put out.</p>
+
+<p>Opening debate on Charity Commission
+certainly a little heavy. Every Member
+who got his chance felt it incumbent on
+him to speak for at least half an hour.
+Some considerably exceeded this limit.</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Parturiunt montes</i>," said <span class="sc">Herbert
+Maxwell</span>, wearily looking round as
+<span class="sc">Griffith-Boscawen</span> followed <span class="sc">John
+Ellis</span> and <span class="sc">Jesse Collings</span> succeeded
+<span class="sc">Francis Stevenson</span>; "<i>nascitur ridiculus
+mus</i>."</p>
+
+<p>And so it was. Particular mountain
+at work when the mouse appeared was
+<span class="sc">J. W. Lowther</span>. Mouse entered from
+behind <span class="sc">Speaker's</span> Chair; leisurely proceeded
+along passage between Front Opposition
+Bench and table at which J. W. was
+speaking disrespectfully of <span class="sc">Jesse Collings</span>.
+Halted by <span class="sc">Prince Arthur's</span> empty seat;
+nibbled fibre of matting in remonstrance at his absence; passed
+round fearlessly by J. W.'s heels; sat for moment in full view of
+House listening attentively to J. W.'s argument; yawned and
+sauntered back the way it came. Interest in debate evidently keener
+than that of average Member. As soon as <span class="sc">Acland's</span> voice reverberated
+through almost empty Chamber, mouse observed strolling
+back along familiar way; took its seat on floor under shadow of Mace
+in defiance of all Parliamentary rule; followed <span class="sc">Acland's</span> argument
+with evidently keen interest. Interrupted by approach of <span class="sc">Richard
+Temple</span>. Quickly looking up and catching sight of his stately figure
+bowing to <span class="sc">Speaker</span>, mouse fled like the wind, in its terror making off
+by Treasury Bench, finally escaping by another exit.</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Cogitato</i>" said <span class="sc">Herbert Maxwell</span>, who breakfasts every
+morning off a plate of porridge and a page of <span class="sc">Plautus</span>,&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem width21">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>"Cogitato, mus pusillus quam sit sapiens bestia,</p>
+<p>Ætatem qui uni cubili nunquam committit suam."</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<p><i>Business done.</i>&mdash;Pension of £4,000 a year voted to <span class="sc">Arthur
+Wellesley Peel</span>, late Speaker.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 280px;"><a href="images/216-700.png"><img src="images/216-280.png" width="280" height="468" alt="Fancy Picture of Sir Thomas Esmonde bringing forward" /></a>
+<p class="center">Fancy Picture of Sir Thomas Esmonde bringing forward
+Queen "Lily o' Killarney" Hawaii.</p></div>
+
+<p><i>Thursday.</i>&mdash;All very well for gay young
+Irish baronet like <span class="sc">Esmonde</span> to champion
+cause of errant Queens throned in summer
+seas. Expected other things from <span class="sc">The
+MacGregor</span>. House quite shocked when
+he interposed just now. <span class="sc">Esmonde</span> asked
+<span class="sc">Edward Grey</span> whether Government could
+do anything to obtain proper treatment for
+Queen of Hawaii. Before Under Secretary
+could reply, <span class="sc">The MacGregor</span>, suddenly
+leaping across dyke as it were, interposed.
+"As I happen to know the lady
+who was formerly Queen of Hawaii," said
+<span class="sc">The MacGregor</span>, and so proceeded to
+back up <span class="sc">Esmonde's</span> plea. Offhand way
+in which reference was made suggested
+illimitable possibilities, <span class="sc">The MacGregor</span>
+just "happened to know" this Queen,
+probably one of a bevy. On some quiet
+night House might hope to hear paper
+read by <span class="sc">The MacGregor</span> on "Queens I
+Have Known."</p>
+
+<p><span class="sc">Sark</span> curiously anxious as to where the
+acquaintance was made, and how it was
+nurtured. Did <span class="sc">The MacGregor</span> vaccinate
+Her Majesty whilst he, still in public
+capacity, sojourned at Penrith? Was she
+an inmate of Peebles Hydropathic Institute
+what time he was resident physician?
+or did he minister to her at the Barnhill
+Hospital and Asylum, Glasgow, of which,
+before he took to Imperial politics, he was
+superintendent? Pleasanter still to think
+of <span class="sc">The MacGregor</span> and the Queen with
+the musical name wandering hand in hand
+amid the orange groves of sea-girt Hawaii,
+breakfasting on the bountiful bread-fruit,
+lunching off the succulent yam. Did he
+in those days call her so much as <span class="sc">Liliuokalani</span>?
+or did he venture on the diminutive
+<span class="sc">Lili</span>? <span class="sc">Sark</span> had better give
+notice of these questions. <i>Business done.</i>&mdash;Fresh Ministerial Bills
+brought in with both hands.</p>
+
+<p><i>Friday.</i>&mdash;Another private Members' night, and, by consequence,
+another count out. Things kept going till a quarter to eight, but
+only with utmost difficulty. Members consented to stay in prospect
+of division on <span class="sc">Albert Rollit's</span> motion protesting against exemption
+of Government property from rating. But they would not longer
+linger. When <span class="sc">Lubbock</span> followed, with proposal of pleasant chat
+about London's share of imperial contribution to local purposes, the
+few remaining Members, vainly trying to look as if they'd be "back
+in ten minutes," walked out. House counted; only twenty-five
+present, and so home to dinner.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, yes," said <span class="sc">Walter Long</span>, left in charge of Front Opposition
+Bench, "but this won't prevent us on Monday, when <span class="sc">Squire of
+Malwood</span> proposes to take Tuesday and Friday mornings for public
+business, stubbornly resisting piratical incursion on the rights of
+private Members. Whatever we are, let us be logical."</p>
+
+<p><i>Business done.</i>&mdash;Ministerial defeat on <span class="sc">Rollit's</span> amendment averted
+by majority of one.</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h3>THE BATTLE OF EASTBOURNE.</h3>
+
+<div class="poem width18">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>Natis in usum lætitiæ rosis</p>
+<p>Pugnare Eastbourni est.</p>
+  </div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i8"><span class="sc">Horace</span> (<i>slightly emended</i>).</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<p class="ind1">It is not the English nature, but the English climate that makes
+us take our pleasures sadly (if we do, which we don't). And it is not
+the fault of the English nature, but of the organisers, if our public
+pageants are usually, like our statues, more or less good-humoured
+burlesques of what they are meant to represent. Now Eastbourne has
+triumphantly shown that, in spite of chilling and heavy rain, England
+can rival the sunny South in the beauty and variety of a big procession
+of floral cars. And if Eastbourne can do this, why can it not
+be done elsewhere? "Organise, organise, organise," and let the
+hireling merrymaker be conspicuously absent. Your hireling will
+still wear his armour as if he were bearing the <i>spolia opima</i> of a
+burgled marine-store dealer. And the lady hireling, as a sea-nymph
+or a shepherdess, can never quite forget what she owes to her dignity
+as a respectable married woman. In the interests of the family exchequer,
+and in the way of business, she may consent to dally with
+allegory, but her heart is not in the mermaid's grot, nor do the
+spacious times of Great <span class="sc">Elizabeth</span> inspire her, beyond the Victorian
+circus-smile, the circus-smile which puts a girdle round about the
+face for forty minutes, or more if the procession be so long a-field.
+At the Eastbourne Battle of Flowers everyone lived up to his or her
+coach, carriage, wheel-barrow or cart, in a way which speaks
+volumes for the artistic sense of the South Saxons. The children, as
+children use, took the cake&mdash;after Mr. <span class="sc">Edgar Bruce</span>. They were
+there in great numbers and variety, from the little <i>Titania</i> in her
+fairy goat-chaise, o'er canopied with flowers and flying doves, to the
+very small skipper of the very realistic ship, who stood on the rainy
+deck with drawn sword and unswerving dignity for some two hours
+of constant and crowded parading. "Bravo, <span class="sc">Burnaby</span>," is the resultant
+cry of gratified spectators, and better weather next time. A
+better show it would be ungrateful to suggest.</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<h3>Umra Khan's Consigne.</h3>
+
+<div class="poem width21">  <div class="stanza">
+<p>When headstrong chieftains say "I shan't,"</p>
+<p class="i2">Or do the things they're bidden not to,</p>
+<p>Like <span class="sc">Umra Khan</span> (now <span class="sc">Umra</span> can't),</p>
+<p class="i2">They'll find "<i>non possumus</i>" their motto.</p>
+  </div>  </div>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<p class="center"><span class="sc">Agricultural Prospects.</span>&mdash;The Kent farmers are looking forward
+to a hoppy future. "What's the odds" to <i>them</i> "as long as they're
+hoppy?"</p>
+
+<hr class="medium" />
+
+<p class="center">"<span class="sc">A 'Felt' Want.</span>"&mdash;A comfortable <i>and</i> respectable-looking
+billycock hat.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<div class="tn">
+<h4>Transcriber's Note</h4>
+
+<p>Sundry damaged or missing punctuation has been repaired.</p>
+
+<p>Page 205: 'thorougfares' corrected to 'thoroughfares'</p>
+
+<p class="ind">"The route, which ran chiefly through main thoroughfares,..."</p>
+
+<p>Page 208: 'preson' corrected to 'person'</p>
+
+<p class="ind">"If a person came to you and said that, what reply would you give him?"</p>
+
+<p>Page 208: 'ongues' corrected to 'tongues'</p>
+
+<p class="ind">"But our tongues shall laud, whilst those tongues can wag,..."</p>
+
+<p>Page 209: 'isplaye' corrected to 'displayed'</p>
+
+<p class="ind">"More charms displayed in form and feature."</p>
+
+<p>Page 209: 'break', possibly (Oxford English Dictionary), break<sup>3</sup> - n.
+Carriage-frame
+with no body, for breaking in young horses; large wagonette.</p>
+<p>Seems correct in context:</p>
+
+<p class="ind">"Seems that break went wrong going down-hill.
+Well, no "safety tandem" for <i>me</i> again&mdash;can't <i>stand
+'em</i>, myself, not being in favour of infanticide. Give
+<i>me</i> a good old mail cart!"<br /><br /></p>
+</div>
+<hr />
+
+<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 44759 ***</div>
+</body>
+</html>
+
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author	Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org>	2025-10-14 18:56:48 -0700
committer	Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org>	2025-10-14 18:56:48 -0700
commit	5755b850e1682decfb68e22633c79b1c2a2d1d2f (patch)
tree	959e7d61dba72940d3a58bbe1ff1ddc585b9856f /44759-h