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diff --git a/44752-0.txt b/44752-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..139ee24 --- /dev/null +++ b/44752-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,7083 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 44752 *** + +Note: Images of the original pages are available through + Internet Archive. See + https://archive.org/details/smugglerscave00birmuoft + + +Transcriber's note: + + Text enclosed by underscores is in italics (_italics_). + + The book has an extra Chapter XIV following Chapter XV + (i.e., the chapter sequence is XIV, XV, XIV, XVI). The + numbering has been left as printed. + + + + + +THE SMUGGLERS' CAVE + + + * * * * * * + + NOVELS BY + GEORGE A. BIRMINGHAM + + THE SMUGGLERS' CAVE + GOODLY PEARLS + THE GUN RUNNERS + THE GRAND DUCHESS + KING TOMMY + SEND FOR DR. O'GRADY + GENERAL JOHN REGAN + THE MAJOR'S NIECE + HYACINTH + BENEDICT KAVANAGH + + HODDER AND STOUGHTON + LIMITED LONDON + + * * * * * * + + +THE SMUGGLERS' CAVE + +by + +GEORGE A. BIRMINGHAM + + + + + + + +Hodder and Stoughton +Limited London + +Made and Printed in Great Britain by Wyman & Sons Ltd., +London, Reading and Fakenham + + + + +An Introduction + +_Meant to make easy the task of those who review novels without reading +them and to awaken the interest of others who read novels without +reviewing them._ + + +This is the story of the Hailey Compton Village Pageant. + +Pageants, good and bad, great and small, were commonplace affairs a few +years ago. Every summer half a dozen of them were widely advertised and +probably a dozen more ran blameless courses unnoticed except by those +who took part in them. They were started by enthusiasts, worked up by +energetic committees, kept within the bounds of historic possibility +by scholarly experts. They came and went, amused a few people, bored a +great many and left not a trace of their brief existence behind them. + +The Hailey Compton Pageant was staged in a small unimportant village. +The people who organised it, the vicar's wife and the local innkeeper, +were unknown to fame. It had, at first, no backing in the press except +a few paragraphs slipped into provincial papers by Miss Beth Appleby, a +young journalist of promise but small attainment. It had, at first, no +aristocratic patronage, except the half-hearted support of Sir Evelyn +Dent. It began in a casual, almost accidental way. + +Yet the Hailey Compton Pageant excited England from end to end, +set every club in London gossiping, inspired a spate of articles in +the daily papers, smirched the reputation of an earl and went near +wrecking, at the next General Election, the prospects of a prominent +statesman. + +Such are the tricks which destiny, a sportive imp, plays with human +affairs. An elderly gentleman, in search of local colour for a +perfectly innocent book, visits a remote village. An energetic lady +with a taste for theatricals seizes an opportunity for getting up a +show. An innkeeper, civil to every one and anxious to be obliging to +all possible patrons, sees a chance of making a little money. + +What could possibly be less important? Yet out of the activities of +these people rose one of the most widely discussed scandals of our +time. + + + + +Chapter I + + +It has been said, somewhat bitterly, that the whole south coast of +England is now one prolonged watering-place, very horrible because +very popular. The bitterness is excusable, but the saying is an +exaggeration. There are still some places unvisited by chars-à-bancs +and excursionists, undiscovered, or at all events unused by those who +"take the kiddies to the sea" for August. + +Hailey Compton is a village which until the other day escaped the curse +of popularity. Its good fortune was due partly to the fact that there +are no houses or lodgings in it suitable for letting. Nor can any be +built for there is no room for building. The village lies in a narrow +nook between high cliffs and all the ground is already occupied by +fishermen's cottages, with their patches of garden, the church, the +vicarage, and the Anchor Inn. It is also--and this helps to account for +its escape from the general fate--very difficult of access. The only +approach to it is by a steep, sharply twisting lane, with a surface +of abominable roughness. Horses descend with extreme difficulty and +climb up again only if they are very strong. Motorists shrink from +the hairpin bends and the blinding high banks between which the lane +zigzags. Even chars-à-bancs drivers, the gallant swashbucklers of our +modern traffic, never venture to take their clients to Hailey Compton. + +Nevertheless a car crept down the hill one warm, May morning, a +light car, driven by an elderly man who sat alone in it. He went +very cautiously, his engine responding to its lowest gear, his +foot pressed on the brake pedal, his hands clutching the steering +wheel convulsively. This was Sir Evelyn Dent, and the car was a new +possession which he had only just learned to drive, indeed had not yet +learned to drive without nervousness. The age of sixty-five is rather +late in life for acquiring so difficult an art as motor driving. + +Sir Evelyn bought this car after the fall of the Government, when he +ceased to be a Cabinet Minister. He might not have bought it even then, +if he had not lost his seat in Parliament in the disastrous General +Election which followed the resignation of the Prime Minister. While +still in office, with a salary of some thousands a year to cover +expenses, Sir Evelyn owned a large car and was driven about by a +competent chauffeur. Having lost his salary and having no longer any +official expenses he economised by buying a small car and driving it +himself. The plan had certain advantages. He could go driving where he +pleased and when. Previously he had gone where the chauffeur, a very +superior man, thought a Cabinet Minister ought to go at hours which he +regarded as suitable. + +The lane twisted on, the gradient becoming steeper and the surface +worse. Sir Evelyn ventured from time to time to raise his strained +eyes from the road immediately in front of him and glance at the +roofs of the houses which lay below, and the sea, blue and sparkling, +below them. Each time he looked the roofs and the sea seemed a little +nearer, which cheered him; but the descent still twisted before him. He +began to wonder whether his nerves would remain under control until he +reached the bottom. Sweat broke out on his forehead and trickled into +his eyes, cold sweat. His hands on the wheel were moist and cold. On +the other hand--such are the compensations which nature arranges--the +inside of his mouth became perfectly dry, so that it was painful to +swallow. Yet he had to swallow each time he crawled round one of the +blind corners and found nothing on the other side. + +There was much excuse for Sir Evelyn's nervousness. A highly skilled +driver would have disliked the hill. Sir Evelyn was a novice. A +reckless youth would have hesitated over it. Sir Evelyn was sixty-five +and most unwilling to throw away the few years of life remaining to +him. It is greatly to his credit and a proof of the fine qualities +which had raised him to the position of Cabinet Minister that he +reached the bottom of the hill safely. Passing a row of fishermen's +cottages, he crawled, not daring to change gear, till he came to the +Anchor Inn. There he stopped. A board, either new or newly painted, +announced that James Hinton was licensed to sell beer, spirits and +tobacco. + +Sir Evelyn passed the tip of a dry tongue across a dry lip. At the +moment it seemed to him that beer, even the poorest, thinnest beer, any +beer at all, was the best thing the world contained. He left his car +and went into the tap-room. + +Had Sir Evelyn been capable for the moment of any feeling except a +desire for beer he would have been surprised at the tap-room of the +Anchor Inn in Hailey Compton. Instead of reeking stuffily of stale +beer, the place was fresh, cool and pleasant. Instead of a soiled +floor, were clean polished boards. Instead of a messy counter and +stained tables there was shining cleanliness. Not such are English inns +in remote villages. Though thirsty Sir Evelyn could not help noticing +the landlord when he came in. He was not in the least the landlord who +might have been expected in such a village. He came from an inner room +and greeted Sir Evelyn with respectful courtesy. He was a tall, slim +man, neatly dressed, cleanly shaved. He might still have been, what +indeed he once was, the valet of a wealthy peer. + +"A glass of beer," said Sir Evelyn. "In fact a jug of beer." + +The landlord, the James Hinton of the newly painted board, spread out +apologetic hands. + +"Very sorry sir," he said. "Very sorry indeed, sir; but at this +hour---- The law, sir. The law. Most unfortunate, but you know how it +is, sir." + +Sir Evelyn did know and groaned. He had descended the hill at an +unfortunate time, arriving at the Anchor Inn at one of those hours +during which, no doubt to the advantage of the souls of Englishmen, the +buying of a glass of beer is a breach of the law. + +Sir Evelyn's guardian angel, watching from on high, smiled, and no one +can blame him. He would have been less and not greater than a mortal if +he had not been a little amused. Here was a man who had spent his life +in making laws; who had taken a pleasure in that most objectionable +occupation; who had given energy and considerable ability to the +discovery of new laws, if possible sillier and more vexatious than +those already made. Here was this man, parched with thirst, a-quiver +with jangled nerves, cut off from the only thing in the world which +would do him any good, by one of the very laws which he and his fellows +had made. It is true that Sir Evelyn had never been directly and +personally concerned with the laws which regulate the sale of beer, but +he had been responsible for others quite as idiotic. + +And once--the guardian angel sniggered when he remembered this--Sir +Evelyn answering a tiresome questioner in Parliament, had said that he +saw no reason why any of the existing laws should be repealed. + +Here, surely, was an instance of that poetic justice, far too rare in +the world, in which all good men rejoice and which angels, guardian and +others, can scarce forbear to cheer. + +But justice in this world is seldom perfect and even angels sometimes +smile too soon. It appeared that James Hinton was no fanatical +worshipper of the letter of the law. + +"If I might venture to make a suggestion, Sir Evelyn----" he said and +paused. + +Sir Evelyn was surprised by the use of his name and title. He had +never been in Hailey Compton before and this prompt recognition was +unexpected. A man may be an ex-Cabinet Minister, may be adorned with +a knighthood, may be, as Sir Evelyn was, the son of one earl, brother +of another and uncle of a third, may be entitled to be styled the +Honourable, besides being a knight; but he does not go about the world +with a placard round his neck announcing these glories. He looked +sharply at the innkeeper. + +James Hinton offered an apologetic explanation of his knowledge. + +"I sometimes had the pleasure of waiting on you, sir, when I was first +footman in the service of your brother, the late earl." + +"What about the beer?" said Sir Evelyn. + +He began to feel hopeful. A retired servant is a family friend and +ought to have more respect for the memory of a dead master than he has +for an existing law. + +"If I might venture to suggest, sir----" said Hinton again. + +"You may suggest anything," said Sir Evelyn, "except lemonade. That, I +cannot stand." + +"Nothing would induce me to offer you such a thing, sir. If you'll +excuse my mentioning a personal matter, sir, I have lived in good +houses, some of the best in England, before coming here, and I'm aware +that lemonade--with the possible exception of the home-brewed variety +when suffering from influenza----" + +"If it's not lemonade," said Sir Evelyn, "what is it?" + +"My suggestion, sir--and I hope you will not regard it as unduly +familiar from one in my position in life--is that you should be my +guest, my private guest, for perhaps ten minutes or a quarter of an +hour, and during that time share a jug of beer with me in my little +room, my own snuggery, behind the bar. There is, of course, no question +of payment. Therefore there is no breach of the law." + +"But I should like to pay for what I drink," said Sir Evelyn. + +He was as thirsty as a man can be, but he shrank from drinking at the +expense of a footman. + +James Hinton's eyes were fixed on a large photograph of one of +England's stately homes which hung, nicely framed, on the wall of the +tap-room. He spoke in a tone of reminiscence, as a man does who tells +a tale of old times, a tale which has nothing whatever to do with the +life of to-day. + +"In the houses in which I used to live, sir, it was customary for +guests to offer some slight token of esteem, what is commonly spoken +of as a tip, to the servants when departing. There was of course no +obligation to give anything. The tip was entirely voluntary, a gift, +sir, not a payment, if you catch my meaning." + +Sir Evelyn caught it; he was to have his glass of beer in spite of +the law, but it was to cost him two and sixpence, at least two and +sixpence, perhaps five shillings. In the best houses it is scarcely +possible to offer less than five shillings to the first footman. + +"Hailey Compton is a very quiet place," said James Hinton a few minutes +later when he had filled Sir Evelyn's glass. "I don't know that I ever +came across a quieter place. No society, unless you count the vicar and +his lady. A very nice gentleman, the vicar, though not very energetic. +But perhaps you know our vicar, the Rev. Mr. Eames?" + +Sir Evelyn did not and said so, holding out his glass for more beer. If +he had to pay five shillings for his drink he felt entitled to quench +his thirst. + +"Perhaps you know Mrs. Eames, sir," said Hinton, pouring out the beer. +"A remarkable lady, Mrs. Eames, if I may say so without disrespect. A +very remarkable lady, though a little trying at times to the vicar." + +Sir Evelyn took no more interest in Mrs. Eames than he did in the +vicar. He was not a rural dean, nor an archdeacon, and his visit to +Hailey Compton had nothing to do with the church. + +"But of course not, sir," said Hinton. "It's not to be expected that +you would know Mrs. Eames or the vicar." + +Then he waited, hoping to hear what had brought Sir Evelyn to Hailey +Compton. He was not disappointed. + +"I understand," said Sir Evelyn, "that there is a remarkable sea cave +in this neighbourhood." + +James Hinton talked fluently and agreeably about the cave. He described +its position and how to get to it. He congratulated Sir Evelyn on +having arrived in Hailey Compton at a fortunate hour. + +"Not altogether fortunate, sir, as regards the beer. But if you wish to +visit the cave you could hardly have come at a better time." + +The cave, it appeared, was accessible on foot only between half-tide +and low water. At other times it must be approached by boat, and +landing, except in calm weather, was difficult. + +"According to local tradition, sir, the cave was at one time largely +used by smugglers. But no doubt you know more about that than I do." + +Sir Evelyn did. He knew more about the Hailey Compton cave, indeed more +about all smugglers' caves on our coasts, than any man in England. + +Having been forced, by a turn of the political wheel to leave office, +he had retired to a pleasant old Manor House, once the property of his +aunt, Lady Mildred Dent. It stood surrounded by gardens, some twenty +miles from Hailey Compton. It had the advantage of being in the middle +of the constituency which had lately rejected Sir Evelyn, which might, +he hoped would, ultimately change its mind. There he settled down +contentedly enough with his pictures, his old prints, his books and +manuscripts, until such time as he could appeal to the voters again. + +Sir Evelyn had spent his adult life in making laws and arranging for +their administration. It was perhaps not unnatural that he should have +cherished a secret love and admiration for law breakers. If a bishop +were to tell the naked truth about himself he would probably say that +what he looked forward to most in heaven was the chance of intimacy +with heretics. A doctor, in hours of relaxation and influenced by good +wine, will confess to a liking for quacks and a contempt for orthodox +methods of cure. + +Sir Evelyn's affections went out to the smugglers of the eighteenth +and early nineteenth centuries, bold defiers of law every one of them. +He had gathered a small library about smugglers and made a collection +of pictures and prints illustrating their ways. It was his intention +to devote his years, or months, of leisure--the period during which +the life of Parliament was denied him--to the production of a complete +illustrated history of English smuggling. The thing has never been +done, and Sir Evelyn felt it was due to the memory of a number of +adventurous men that it should be done sympathetically. + +He intended, in course of time, to visit and photograph all the +genuine smugglers' caves there were. He had already made a list of +them, carefully eliminating those whose connection with smugglers was +uncertain. It was chiefly with a view to visiting the caves that he +had bought and more or less learned to drive his motor. His plan was +to spend the summer, perhaps several summers, in investigating the +caves one by one. During the winter he meant to arrange the material +collected, make extracts from books, and in due time actually write the +great history. + +The Hailey Compton cave, an unquestionably genuine haunt of eighteenth +century smugglers, was first on his list. He reached it--as has been +already noted--early in May after a drive of some peril. + +"Perhaps, sir," said Hinton, "you may be returning here for luncheon +after your visit to the cave. I can scarcely recommend it though I +shall do my best. This is a poor house, sir, not at all what you're +accustomed to. I can scarcely venture to promise more than a slice of +cold beef, a cut off the Sunday joint, with some bread and cheese. The +cheese, if I may say so, is excellent. But perhaps you will prefer to +lunch at the vicarage. Mrs. Eames is a very hospitable lady, sir, and I +may take it upon myself to say that she will be delighted to entertain +you." + +"I shall lunch here," said Sir Evelyn, "on whatever you can give me." + +"Very good, sir, I merely mentioned the vicarage because I thought you +might like to meet Mrs. Eames. A very remarkable lady, sir." + +"I do not want to meet Mrs. Eames," said Sir Evelyn. "And I shall not +lunch at the vicarage." + +Here Sir Evelyn's guardian angel smiled again. How far these beings +arrange our future for us is uncertain, but there is no doubt that +they know what is going to happen to us some time ahead. When they +hear us asserting confidently that we are going to do something, or +not going to do it, they are amused, being aware that our plans have +very little to do with what actually happens. Sir Evelyn's angel knew +perfectly well that his ward would lunch that day at the vicarage, that +he would meet Mrs. Eames, and that consequences of the most unexpected +kind would follow. His smile died wholly away when he reflected that +it would be his business to extricate Sir Evelyn from the tangled +difficulties in which he was soon to be involved, which began with his +visit to the Hailey Compton Vicarage. + + + + +Chapter II + + +Sir Evelyn left the Anchor Inn, took his camera from the car and set +out on the way which Hinton had described to him. + +It was not a very pleasant way. It first passed along the village +street which smelt of decaying fish and was strewed with empty lobster +pots, broken spars and disused oars. Here he was stared at with +unblinking hostility by a number of men who leaned against the walls of +cottages with their hands in their pockets. He was surveyed apparently +with amused dislike by women who came to the doors with babies in their +arms. He would have been giggled at by children if they had not all +been shut up at school at that hour. + +Having reached the end of the street he skirted a slimy and very smelly +boat haven beyond which he reached a space of coarse grass. Here nets +were spread out to dry and long rows of geese paraded solemnly. Sir +Evelyn picked his way among the nets and tried to be indifferent to the +geese which stretched out their necks and hissed at him. Having crossed +the grass he climbed the sea wall and dropped down on a stony beach. It +was a disagreeable beach covered with round white stones. Some of these +were about the size of potatoes. They rolled when Sir Evelyn trod on +them and he ran some risk of spraining his ankles. Others were larger, +about the size of field turnips, and they were coated with pale green +weed. Sir Evelyn slipped when he walked on one of them. + +At the back, the shoreward end of the beach, the cliffs rose abruptly +to a plateau on which the church stood. A hundred yards or so from the +village green was the cave. Sir Evelyn, stumbling doggedly on, reached +it slightly out of breath. + +A surprise waited him. Under the huge arch which formed the entrance +of the cave is a pool, ten or twelve feet deep, large enough to hold +a fair sized fishing smack. The rocks at the side of the pool are as +steep as if they had been cut away to form a dock or a swimming bath. +The water is bright green and so clear that the pebbles at the bottom +can be plainly seen. + +Sir Evelyn unstrapped his camera, preparing to photograph the entrance +of the cave. He saw to his annoyance that he was not alone. A woman +was standing at the far side of the pool. She wore a bright red bathing +dress and a blue waterproof cap. At the moment when Sir Evelyn caught +sight of her she was poised for a plunge into the green water. + +An imaginative and slightly short-sighted man might have fancied +himself unexpectedly blessed with a vision of a mermaid or some other +kind of water nymph. The great arch of the cave, the gloomy hollow +beyond it, the clear water and the shining rock, formed a natural and +proper haunt for a marine damsel. But Sir Evelyn was not romantic. Men +who rise to eminence in politics are almost always realists. And he +was not short-sighted. He could see perfectly well that the lady on the +rock had a sturdy figure and unusually thick legs. All nymphs, woodland +or marine, are slim creatures and young. The lady on the rock was not +very young, but if he had had any doubt about what she was her greeting +would have dispelled it. + +"Hallo!" she shouted. + +Sir Evelyn, who was a courteous gentleman, took off his hat, bowed and +apologised for his intrusion. + +"I'm exceedingly sorry for disturbing you," he said. "If I had known +you were bathing I should have waited until you had finished." + +"Hold on a minute," said the lady. "I can't hear a word you're saying." + +She plunged, a neat header with scarcely a splash. He saw the red clad +form, curved stiffly from neck to heel, shooting through the clear +water. The blue cap emerged, plump arms flashed and splashed. With +incredible swiftness and all the grace of a swimming seal she crossed +the pool. Grasping the rock at Sir Evelyn's feet she pulled herself +half out of the water and looked at him with a gleaming smile. + +"This is quite exciting," she said. "I don't think I ever saw anyone +here before. Do tell me who you are and what you're doing." + +The approach and the questioning which followed it surprised Sir +Evelyn. This was not the way in which strangers usually sought to make +his acquaintance. But though shocked and a little startled, he was not +angry. It is almost impossible to be angry with a dripping, smiling, +friendly lady who emerges from the water at your feet. + +"My dear lady----" he began, rather pompously but quite kindly. + +"My name," she said, "is Eames, Agatha Eames, and my husband is vicar +of the parish." + +"Dear me!" said Sir Evelyn a little startled. + +He had a fairly clear idea in his mind of what the wives of our country +clergy are like, an idea formed on the descriptions of these ladies +given by our novelists. They are elderly, angular, severe, conventional +in their outlook on life and morals, inclined to bitter speaking of a +slanderous kind, clothed in body and equipped in mind after the fashion +of provincial spinsters of fifty years ago. The lady who looked up +at him in no way corresponded to his mental picture of what a country +vicar's wife ought to be. + +"My name," he said, "is Dent, Evelyn Dent." + +"Evelyn Dent! But, of course, Sir Evelyn Dent. _The_ Sir Evelyn Dent." + +This prompt recognition of his eminence surprised Sir Evelyn. In +political circles he was of course well known. Socially, as son, +brother and uncle of three succeeding earls, he held a distinguished +position. But he scarcely expected to find himself known to a +plump lady bathing in a lonely pool. Recollecting Hinton's earlier +recognition in the Anchor Inn, it occurred to him that this lady might +at one time have been cook in the house of his father, brother or +nephew. In the eighteenth century, according to Thackeray, the clergy +often married upper servants. For all Sir Evelyn knew they might be +doing so still. + +With this idea in his mind he smiled in a friendly way. Mrs. Eames, no +doubt encouraged by this sign of amiability, climbed out of the pool, +sat down on a rock at his feet and began rubbing the water off her legs +with curved palms. + +"So you know who I am," he said, expecting a confession that she had in +other days fried bacon for his breakfast. + +But Mrs. Eames had never been a cook and knew Sir Evelyn only as a +public man. + +"Of course I know who you are," she said. "I have often heard of +your splendid work in the Foreign Office--or if it wasn't the Foreign +Office, the Treasury." + +Sir Evelyn's splendid work had not been done either in the Foreign +Office or the Treasury. + +"Not quite right," he said. + +"A Cabinet Minister, anyhow," said Mrs. Eames, "and frightfully +important. Chairman of no end of Royal Commissions." + +"Only three," said Sir Evelyn, as if modestly disclaiming a well +deserved honour which had not been bestowed on him. + +"Three seems no end of a lot to me," said Mrs. Eames. "In fact three is +no end of a lot when it's Royal Commissions. Of course three cigarettes +wouldn't be much or three apples. Was anyone else ever Chairman of +three Royal Commissions?" + +Sir Evelyn was not vainer or fonder of praise than most elderly and +successful men. Vanity is supposed to be the besetting sin of young +women. It is really the devil's most successful lure for old gentlemen, +and Sir Evelyn had not escaped it. Long after the other six deadly +sins have ceased to be dangerous, when the blood is too sluggish for +lust, when bitter experience has taught the folly of gluttony, when +there is little left in life with the power to move to anger, whenever +avarice--though Byron calls it an old-gentlemanly vice--is a temptation +of the past, then vanity attacks a man whose life has given any excuse +for it, and he generally falls. With grey hairs and a measure of +success there comes to most of us, as to Sir Evelyn, a strong sense of +our own importance. + +"I wonder," he said modestly, "how you come to be interested in my +commonplace career." + +"You mustn't think," said Mrs. Eames, "that because I live in Hailey +Compton I'm interested in nothing except the parish pump." + +"No doubt," said Sir Evelyn, becoming ponderously playful, "so +omniscient a lady will be able to guess what has brought me here +to-day." + +Mrs. Eames took off her bathing cap and ran her fingers through her +hair as if deeply pondering. Her hair was red and had been cropped by +the village barber, a fisherman and only an amateur at hair-cutting, +who had heard of but not actually seen the fashionable bobbing and +shingling. The result was comfortable but not becoming. The absence of +floating locks made Mrs. Eames's face look bigger than it was and her +features did not bear exaggeration well. They gave the impression of +having been rather hurriedly put into their places--eyes, nose, mouth +and chin--by a modeller who had learnt his art through a correspondence +class. The general effect was lumpy and, on closer looking, rather +crooked. + +"A little bird whispered to me----" she said. + +"A little what?" + +"Bird. Of course it wasn't really a bird. And even if it had been it +wouldn't have whispered. Birds don't. They twitter. I ought to have +said 'Lilith lisped to me----'" + +"Lilith!" + +"Surely you know 'The Lispings of Lilith,'" said Mrs. Eames. + +Sir Evelyn had to confess that he did not. + +"Lilith," said Mrs. Eames, "is my niece, Beth Appleby. My name was +Appleby before I married poor dear Timothy. She does a column called +'The Lispings of Lilith' which comes out every week in about a dozen +provincial papers. Syndicated, you know. I couldn't get on without it. +It keeps me up to all that's going on in the great world outside Hailey +Compton. Surely you've read it?" + +"Never," said Sir Evelyn. + +"You'd have liked last week's. There was a Lisping about you. 'Lilith +lisps,' that's how every paragraph begins, 'that Sir Evelyn Dent, who +has recently retired from public life, is devoting his leisure to a +study of the history of English smuggling on which he is expected to +produce a ----' Now what was it Beth called it? Either a monograph or +a _magnum opus_." + +Sir Evelyn was aware that some paragraphs, based on hints which he +had given himself, had appeared here and there about his devotion to +historical research. No doubt "Lilith" or Miss Appleby had copied one +of them into the column of provincial lispings. + +"Very annoying," he said. "Very annoying indeed. This craze for the +publication of the personal affairs of private individuals is one of +the crying evils of our time." + +But Mrs. Eames, though talkative, was by no means a fool. She knew that +Sir Evelyn did not find paragraphs in the papers about his historical +work in the least annoying. He liked them. He would have liked them +even if they had dealt with his favourite shaving soap. All eminent men +like this kind of publicity. If they did not they would not get it. For +journalists only advertise those who supply the advertisements. Mrs. +Eames was wise enough to know this, but also wise enough to pretend she +did not. + +"It must be most trying," she said. "That's the worst of being famous. +Now what about your photo of the cave? I mustn't interrupt you by +chattering here. Would you like me to pose for you as a pirate? I +mean to say a smuggler. A real live smuggler seated on a stone at the +entrance of the cave would be rather a catch in your book, wouldn't +it?" + +Sir Evelyn did not think it would, and tried to say so politely. + +"I see what you mean," said Mrs. Eames. "My figure, of course. It's +too plump for even a well-to-do smuggler. What you want is someone +lean. Now if poor Timothy were here---- But he's too mild-looking for +a smuggler. It is a pity about my figure." + +She surveyed her own legs with a good-humoured smile. + +"It's not that," said Sir Evelyn, though it was. "All I meant to say +is that I'd like to take a separate photograph of you afterwards, a +portrait." + +He felt that he had been rude, and there was nothing he disliked more +than failing in courtesy to a woman. + +Mrs. Eames clapped her hands. + +"For publication, of course," she said. "'Mrs. Eames takes a dip at +Deauville.' We must say Deauville. Beth knows all about these things, +being a journalist herself; and she says that this sort of photo +practically must be at Deauville if it's to get into any really smart +paper." + +"But do you want that?" + +"Of course I do," said Mrs. Eames, "and it won't do to say 'Mrs. Eames +taking a dip,' even at Deauville. We'll say 'Agatha Eames,' and then if +people don't know who I am they'll feel they ought to and pretend they +do. Or perhaps 'Lady Agatha Eames.' I don't think there'd be any harm +in that, do you? 'Lady Agatha Eames in the smartest of chic bathing +suits taking her morning dip at Deauville. Photo'd by Sir Evelyn Dent.' +You'd like that, wouldn't you?" + +"I don't think I should," said Sir Evelyn, rather alarmed. "In fact, +I'm sure I shouldn't." + +Mrs. Eames was a little downcast, but bore her disappointment well. + +"I quite understand," she said. "My bathing dress isn't really chic, +and it's centuries old. Of course, you wouldn't like to be associated +with it in any public way." + +"It's not that," said Sir Evelyn feebly. + +"And my figure," said Mrs. Eames. "It is unfortunate about my figure. +And you wouldn't believe the amount of exercise I take in order to keep +it down. I quite see that it wouldn't do for a Deauville bathing photo. +I'll just slip off behind a rock and get my clothes on while you're +photographing the cave." + +She put on her bathing cap and plunged into the pool again. A few swift +strokes took her to the other side. Sir Evelyn watched her disappear +into the cave with a bundle of clothes and a bathing towel in her arms. +He adjusted his camera and took three photographs. + +A quarter of an hour later Mrs. Eames came scrambling over the rocks at +the mouth of the pool. She was dressed, but it struck Sir Evelyn when +he saw her that her clothes tended rather to emphasise than disguise +the defects of figure she complained of. On the upper part of her +body she wore a low-necked, entirely sleeveless knitted jumper of a +bright yellow colour. A blue cotton skirt barely reached her knees. +Her stockings, which seemed stretched to their uttermost, were of the +colour called "nude" by hosiers, and it was impossible to help looking +at them because her shoes were very white and caught the eye. + +"Now for lunch," she said. "You'll lunch with us, of course." + +"I fear," said Sir Evelyn vaguely. "I fear that to-day---- Perhaps some +other day----" + +"Oh, but you must," said Mrs. Eames. "Think of poor Timothy. He hardly +ever has the chance of meeting anyone. Not that he wants to, poor +darling. In fact he hates it. But it's so good for him." + +This tangled account of the vicar's feelings about strangers confirmed +Sir Evelyn in his determination to go back to the Anchor Inn for +luncheon. He had no wish to force his company on an unwilling host, and +did not feel it in any way his duty to be "good" for the Rev. Timothy +Eames. + +"I have made arrangements," he said a little stiffly, "to lunch at the +inn." + +"Oh, that'll be all right," said Mrs. Eames, "I'll explain to James +Hinton. As a matter of fact, he'll quite expect you to lunch at the +vicarage. Everybody who comes to the village does. Not that anyone ever +does come. At least, very seldom. But if anybody did--and, after all, +you have--he would lunch at the vicarage. James Hinton knows that quite +well." + +James Hinton did. Sir Evelyn remembered that. + +Further refusal became impossible when Mrs. Eames hooked her arm +through his and began to tow him across the stony beach. + +"There's only cold lamb," she said. "But as soon as we get home +I'll dart into the kitchen and make some pancakes. I'm sure you like +pancakes. Don't you like pancakes?" + +"Oh, quite," said Sir Evelyn. + +"And scrambled eggs. Scrambled eggs don't take a minute. After +photographing the cave you're sure to be hungry. I know I am. Gladys +can run down to the inn for a jug of beer." + +"Gladys!" + +"Gladys," said Mrs. Eames, "is our cook, which she can't, not even +scrambled eggs; and housemaid, which she won't, though she could if she +liked. But she can and will go down to James Hinton's for a jug of beer +when I tell her to." + + + + +Chapter III + + +"While I'm making the pancakes," said Mrs. Eames, as they crossed the +green where the nets and geese were, "you might give Timothy a bit of a +talking to; stir him up, you know. I'm always trying to, but I've never +succeeded in the least. A word or two from you----" + +"I do not think it at all likely that I should influence him," said Sir +Evelyn stiffly. + +He had no idea of taking on the task of stimulating into activity a +lazy country vicar. That was what the Rev. Timothy Eames seemed to be. + +"Oh, but you could," said Mrs. Eames. "Force of good example, you +know. Tell him you're writing a book, and then, very likely, he'll +write one too. He could if he chose. I was sitting beside a Dean once +at tea--not quite a first-rate Dean, but still fairly important--and +I heard him say to another Dean that there is a corner to be made in +the Christological heresies, if anyone cared to seize the chance. I +remembered that and told Timothy afterwards, hoping that he might go in +for it." + +"Might make a corner?" + +"Exactly. Just what you're doing, you know. I don't say Christological +heresies are as good as smugglers. They're not. But a corner is a +corner whatever it's in. My idea was that Timothy might dart in before +anyone else tumbled to the chance, and corner those heretics. I know he +can read Greek, for I've seen him do it, and so far as I can make out +that's the only qualification required. Do try and persuade him, won't +you?" + +"I'm afraid----" + +"You needn't be," said Mrs. Eames. "Timothy won't resent anything you +say. He isn't the kind of man who resents good advice. I give him lots +and lots, and he's never even annoyed. He simply lies down under it. +Such a pity, when he really can read Greek, a thing very few can do." + +They passed through the gateway of the vicarage--the gate itself had +long ago decayed away--and walked up an ill-kept drive. They found the +vicar seated on a rickety chair in front of the house. He had a book in +his hand, perhaps a Greek book, but instead of reading it he was gazing +at the sea with mild, watery eyes. He stood up as his wife and Sir +Evelyn approached, and showed himself to be a tall, gaunt man. He rose +slowly to an incredible height, and then seemed to shrink again as he +relapsed into his habitual stoop. Mrs. Eames was fluent and explanatory +in her introduction. + +"This is Sir Evelyn Dent," she said, "and he has come to luncheon. He +was a very eminent Cabinet Minister until the Government was hoofed +out, which wasn't his fault, and happens to all Governments sooner or +later. What do you think Sir Evelyn did then, Timothy? He sat straight +down to historical research of the most abstruse kind. There's an +example for you! Now, Sir Evelyn, you talk to him about Christological +heresies while I go and make the pancakes. You'll hardly believe it, +but I've put the advantages of that corner of the Dean's before him +dozens of times and he hasn't done a thing yet, not even ragged a +Monophysite, though that must be an easy enough thing for anyone who +knows Greek." + +She ran into the house, leaving two embarrassed men behind her. Sir +Evelyn, though a man of the world and practised in dealing with awkward +situations, stood tongue-tied. The vicar, sighing gently, looked at his +visitor, apparently waiting for the scolding which he felt he deserved. +It was he who first broke the silence. + +"Do you find the Christological controversies really interesting?" he +asked mildly. + +"Interesting!" Sir Evelyn was a little irritable. "Good heavens, no! I +don't even know what Christological controversies are. I never heard of +them till Mrs. Eames mentioned them to me ten minutes ago." + +"Oh," said the vicar. "I thought Agatha said that you and some Dean +were going into the subject together. I must have been mistaken. But +I'm often mistaken, in fact--generally, especially about things Agatha +says. She will talk fast and jump about from one thing to another." + +"My subject," said Sir Evelyn, beginning to recover himself, "is +Eighteenth Century Smuggling." + +"And is that interesting? But, of course, it must be to you, or you +wouldn't take it up. I suppose that any subject would be interesting +if only one succeeded in getting started, even the Christological +heresies. But we needn't talk about them, at least not until Agatha +comes back. Indeed we needn't even then unless we want to. She will do +all the talking necessary. So restful for us. Don't you think so?" + +Sir Evelyn did not. He liked talking, and held the view, taken by St. +Paul, that women ought to keep silence. They are at their best when +listening, respectfully, to what men like Sir Evelyn have to say. + +"The Hailey Compton cave," he began, as if delivering a public lecture, +"which I came here to-day to investigate, was undoubtedly much used +by smugglers. Its situation, close to a remote village difficult of +access, rendered it peculiarly suitable for their lawless trade. Its +great size and the ease with which it can be approached from the sea at +high tide, help to mark it out as one of the places...." + +Long before he had finished what he had to say about the Hailey Compton +cave Mrs. Eames came from the house again. + +"So lucky," she said. "I found Gladys's aunt in the kitchen, so I just +scrambled the eggs and left her to make the pancakes. I expect she can +all right. Anyhow, she'll be better than Gladys, and quite as good as +me. She has nine children, so she must be able to make pancakes. What +I mean to say is that a woman who can bring up nine children can do +anything. And now, Sir Evelyn, do tell me all about London. Timothy, +darling, get a couple more chairs, and we'll all sit down and be +comfortable. We can't have lunch till the pancakes are ready and Gladys +has fetched the beer." + +The vicar, who seemed obedient in most things though rebellious over +the Christological heresies, shambled into the house in search of +chairs. + +"I'm just longing," said Mrs. Eames, "to hear all about the latest +music and art. I really live for music though, of course, I never hear +any, and I worship----" She looked round and saw that her husband had +not yet come out of the house. "Timothy isn't here, so I don't mind +saying that I worship the theatre. I hope you don't think it very wrong +of me to say 'worship,' on account of the second commandment, and me +being a clergyman's wife. Though, of course, the theatre isn't a graven +or molten image, is it? Still, Timothy mightn't quite like my saying +it, although it's true. Now what do you think about that, Sir Evelyn?" + +Sir Evelyn evaded the point, a thing which his long practice in +politics enabled him to do without any difficulty. He did not feel +equal to deciding whether the second commandment forbids the worship of +the theatre. + +"I'm afraid," he said, "that you have not much chance of indulging your +taste for the drama down here." + +"Oh, but I have," said Mrs. Eames. "Timothy says I indulge it too +much. But I always tell him something must be done for the good of the +parish, and as he won't, I do. The year before last we had 'Macbeth,' +acted entirely by the village people. I do think Shakespeare is so +educative, don't you? Last year we had 'Othello,' and now we're getting +up 'Hamlet.' Oh, here's Timothy coming back with some chairs. Now we'll +be able to sit down and listen to you, Sir Evelyn. I always say that +the greatest pleasure in life is hearing a clever man talk, a really +clever man. Timothy, darling, Sir Evelyn thinks that we never have any +plays here. But we do, don't we?" + +The vicar, shambling along with two chairs dragged behind him, stopped +when appealed to. + +"Plays!" he said. "Oh, yes, certainly. Almost too many of them." + +"I always think," said Mrs. Eames, "that Shakespeare is so much better +done in the open air by simple country people. More Elizabethan in +spirit. I'm sure you agree with me about that." + +"I should have supposed," said Sir Evelyn, a little stiffly, "that it +would have been difficult to get a satisfactory local Hamlet." + +"Not a bit," said Mrs. Eames. "There's a man here called Hinton, the +landlord of the inn--but you've seen him, haven't you?" + +"Yes." + +"Then I'm sure you agree with me," said Mrs. Eames, "that he's a +perfect natural Hamlet--figure, manner, face, voice, everything. You +ought to see him in the grave-digger scene--and you shall. This isn't +the regular day for rehearsals, but we'll have one after lunch. I'll +send Gladys round to tell everyone. It'll be so good for us all to hear +what you have to say. I'm doing the Queen, Hamlet's mother, you know. +I'd have liked to do Ophelia; but that was scarcely possible with my +figure." + +She sat down abruptly on a low deck chair which the vicar had dragged +out. Her skirt was a barely sufficient covering when she stood up. +It was very insufficient when she sat down in a low chair. She was +conscious of that but not at all embarrassed. + +"You simply couldn't have an Ophelia with legs like those," she said. + +Sir Evelyn agreed with her, but was not obliged to say so, for Gladys's +aunt put her head out of the kitchen window and shouted that luncheon +was ready. + +"Has Gladys come back with the beer?" said Mrs. Eames. + +The aunt said she was at that moment coming in through the back door +with a jug in her hand. + +"I do hope it'll turn out that Gladys's aunt can make pancakes," said +Mrs. Eames as they went into the house. "Gladys can't. But these things +don't always run in families, which is a pity. If I could write for the +papers like Beth--she is my niece, Sir Evelyn, not Timothy's--we might +be quite rich. But I can't; which just shows that there's not so much +in heredity as some people say, and proves that Gladys's aunt may be +able to make pancakes. Anyhow, let's try." + +Gladys, a failure as a cook and unwilling to make beds, appeared to be +quite incompetent as a parlourmaid. Mrs. Eames was obliged to run round +the table with plates and dishes, while Gladys, grinning foolishly, +followed her with the beer. This gave Sir Evelyn a chance of resuming +the monologue about smugglers' caves which had been interrupted by Mrs. +Eames. + +"There are," he said, "several hundred so-called smugglers' caves on +the south coast of England. Few of them, perhaps not more than eighty +or ninety altogether, were actually ever used for the storing of +contraband goods. All the rest are spurious, advertised by the local +hotel-keepers and railway companies as attractions to the trippers. +They are rapidly becoming popular features of our watering-places. +Picnic parties throng them. Campers pitch tents in their vicinity." + +The vicar, who was drooping slowly at the head of the table, sighed. +The thought of picnic parties swarming into the Hailey Compton cave +filled him with horror. Mrs. Eames became interested. She was hovering +over the cold lamb with a carving knife in her hand. She paused to +consider a splendid prospect. Crowds of trippers, if they could be +attracted to Hailey Compton, would provide audiences for her plays, and +audiences were so far just what the plays lacked. A vision of Hailey +Compton as a sort of Shakespearean Ober-Ammergau, floated through her +mind. + +"The claims of your cave," Sir Evelyn went on, bowing politely to the +vicar, "can certainly be substantiated at the bar of history." + +A man gains this advantage by being an experienced public speaker. +He is able to use phrases like "Substantiated at the bar of history" +without suffering, though not, of course, without causing suffering +to others. The ordinary speech of an experienced politician contains +hundreds of similar phrases; and in his use of them he is like a +surgeon who can do the most disgusting things to the human body without +the slightest feeling of nausea because he has become thoroughly +accustomed to doing them. In the same way a Cabinet Minister can +use phrases, not only without self-contempt, but even with a glow of +satisfaction, which make other men sick. How splendid it must be to be +able to say "The answer is in the negative" without vomiting! + +"Timothy," said Mrs. Eames while Sir Evelyn had his mouth full of +scrambled egg, "why hasn't our cave been advertised? I'm always telling +you that something ought to be done for the parish. As vicar you're +simply bound to do something. Here's a splendid opportunity for you. +Advertise the cave." + +Sir Evelyn held up his hand in gentle but firm protest against Mrs. +Eames's interruptions. He still had a great deal to say and he meant +to say it all. It was a contest for the privilege of talking, and Sir +Evelyn's steady flow of words reduced Mrs. Eames to silence for a time. + +Perhaps mere persistence would not have won the victory. Sir Evelyn was +more than persevering and monotonous. He was interesting and showed +that he possessed a gift for picturesque description. Having proved +that the Hailey Compton cave really had been used by smugglers, he +went on to give an account, imaginary but based on laboriously studied +facts, of the landing of a cargo of contraband goods. + +He did it so well that even the vicar was slightly interested. Mrs. +Eames, who might have sat down and eaten her luncheon, stood with a +dish of potatoes in her hand, thrilled. Even Gladys stopped clattering +plates together on the sideboard. Sir Evelyn, like all good talkers, +responded to the sympathy of his audience. He spoke better than he ever +remembered speaking before. + +A dark autumn night. A sighing wind. The hoarse roar of sullen waves +dragging at the stones on the beach. A watcher on the tower of the +church. The flash of a light far out at sea. A flare on the church +tower, subsiding, flaming up again. Glimmering lights in cottage +windows. The trampling of heavily booted feet across the beach. The +glowing of lanterns. A gathering of dim figures under the arch of the +cave, the sharp rattle of horsehoofs on the stony path which led down +the cliff to the village. (Sir Evelyn's own experiences earlier in the +day helped him to realise what that descent was like.) A gathering of +led pack horses, whinnying and neighing, on the short grass where now +the nets are spread. The continuous flashing of a ship's light near +at hand. Answering flashes from the mouth of the cave. All the while +the hollow booming of the sea. (Sir Evelyn had a good voice, resonant +and thrilling like the tones of a 'cello and he was telling his story +well.) The appearance of blacker shadows, huge, menacing, against the +blackness of the night--the great sails of the lugger. The rattle of +blocks and the whining of running ropes. Muttered orders. The slow +in-gliding of the boat. The making fast of mooring ropes. + +This was part of one of the few chapters in Sir Evelyn's book which +was already written. He had worked at it so long and revised it so +often that he knew it off by heart. He thought it a fine piece of +writing, and it certainly seemed good to his audience. Perhaps it is +only because they despise their audiences that our statesmen talk stale +jargon in Parliament and on platforms. When they sit down to write, +hoping to be read by intelligent men and women, they are very often +capable of producing good English. + + + + +Chapter IV + + +There were incidents in the story which might have been cavilled +at by a cold-blooded critic. There were, as Sir Evelyn went on, +inconsistencies. Men who had tramped across bare rolling stones were +splashing knee-deep in water a little later, as if the tide had come +in with startling rapidity. On so calm a night there was surely no +need for the lugger to carry ballast outboard, though the description +of the kegs slung along her weather gunwale helped to produce an +atmosphere of very proper desperation. But what do such details matter? +Sir Evelyn had achieved the spirit of the smugglers' night landing; +worked up to quite unusual emotion he might have gone on to a fight +with the preventive officers, but Mrs. Eames, uncontrollably excited, +interrupted him at last. + +"I see it all," she cried, clapping her hands. "It's wonderful, Sir +Evelyn, thrilling. Timothy, we must have a pageant--the Hailey Compton +Pageant of Smuggling days. The first of a series of Hailey Compton +Pageants of English History. Smugglers! They've never been done +before." + +To Sir Evelyn her voice was like a jug of cold water suddenly emptied +over him. His delight in his own story faded away. He was conscious of +nothing except that he had been betrayed into making a fool of himself. + +The vicar groaned aloud. + +"My dear Agatha----" he began. + +"Don't croak, Timothy," she cried, "and don't cavil. This is going to +be the most splendid pageant there ever was. The real thing. All the +cinemas in the world will reproduce it. We'll have half England here to +see it." + +"Terrible, terrible," said the vicar. + +"We'll make pots of money--for the church of course, Timothy." + +"The church doesn't want money," said the vicar; but he knew even +while he sobbed out the words, that this was not true. All churches +want money, always, and when they get it immediately want more. So +do states. If a church or a state could be found which did not want +money all sensible men would immediately be received into the one and +naturalised into the other. + +"Timothy, dearest," said Mrs. Eames, "you know the church ought to +be restored. You can't imagine," she explained to Sir Evelyn, "how +utterly Victorian our church is. It's quite impossible to have really +catholic services in it in its present state. But if we only had money +to restore it--and we will, thanks to your splendid idea of a smuggling +pageant." + +Mrs. Eames, a fervent admirer of all that was best in drama, music +and art, was in full sympathy with the picturesque part of the +Anglo-Catholic movement in the Church. If she had not been a vicar's +wife she would probably have become Catholic without the Anglo. This +shows the wisdom of the Church of England in encouraging the marriage +of her clergy. A taste for ornamental ecclesiasticism would doubtless +lead many women to desert the church of their baptism, if it were +not that such women generally get married early in life to curates. +And how many of our priests--blessed with similar tastes and an equal +share of intelligence--would make their submission to seductive Rome if +they were not irrevocably tied to women by a bond which they regard as +sacramental? + +"God forbid," said the vicar solemnly, "that I should ever be guilty +of restoring the church. I have," his voice became penitential, "I have +many sins to answer for, but at least----" + +Mrs. Eames laid down the potato dish which she still held in her hands, +ran to him and flung a plump arm round his neck. + +"Timothy, darling," she said, "you haven't any sins or shortcomings. +I sometimes think you'd be a better man if you had a few. But you +haven't." + +"At least," said the vicar, pushing his mouth clear of the hands which +covered it, "it shall never be recorded of me that I restored a church. +I beg of you, Agatha, to allow me to die without doing that." + +He spoke as all good clergy do of church restoration. There is scarcely +a vicar or rector to be found in England to-day who does not resent +the restoration of his church effected by his predecessor. So far has +æsthetic education advanced in our time. So far, but no farther. For +there is scarcely a vicar or a rector who does not feel that if the +restoration had been left to him it would have been done properly; who +would not joyfully undertake a fresh restoration if he saw his way to +getting the money. But Mr. Eames at least was sincere. The furniture +and fittings of Hailey Compton church deserved the worst that could be +said of them, but the vicar would not willingly have removed a pew or +erected a screen. + +He got up slowly and sadly, releasing himself from his wife's +encircling arms. With a bow to Sir Evelyn he turned to leave the room. + +"Timothy, Timothy," said Mrs. Eames, "don't go till you've had a +pancake." + +She turned on Gladys who was making a cheerful noise by knocking +table-spoons against the beer jug. + +"Go and get the pancakes at once, Gladys. Timothy, my darling, do stay." + +"Not if I'm to be asked to restore a church," he said. + +"I'm afraid," said Sir Evelyn, when the vicar had shut the door behind +him, "that he doesn't like the idea of a pageant." + +"Oh, he's always that way at first," said Mrs. Eames, "when I'm doing +something for the parish. He was perfectly miserable for a week when +I began the rehearsing for 'Othello,' pretending that he didn't like +my doing Desdemona. He was just as bad over 'Hamlet,' though I said +I'd give up being Ophelia just to please him. I cannot get him to see +that it is his duty in a parish like this to get up something for the +people. Don't you agree with me, Sir Evelyn?" + +"The country clergy," said Sir Evelyn, "are often reproached with +apathy and indifference to----" + +"Exactly what I don't want to have said about poor Timothy," said +Mrs. Eames. "He's really a saint, you know. At least he would be if +he'd only do something, even something wrong. It is such a comfort," +she went on abruptly, "to feel that you're going to help us in this +pageant, Sir Evelyn." + +"So far as my limited knowledge of the subject goes," said Sir Evelyn, +a little taken aback, "it is entirely at your disposal, but----" + +"Splendid," said Mrs. Eames, "and your knowledge isn't the least +limited, so don't be modest. I'll get Beth to write articles for every +paper in England boosting the pageant for all she's worth. That's +what's called publicity, and it's most important." + +"But----" said Sir Evelyn, "excuse my interrupting you, Mrs. Eames, +but----" + +"Don't go on saying but. You're getting nearly as bad as poor Timothy. +Let's make out a list of what we shall want. Ten smugglers would be +enough, I should think. Jack Bunce and his son. That's two----" She +ticked off the Hailey Compton fishermen on her fingers as she named +them. "Tommy Whittle and his three brothers. The youngest is what's +called mentally deficient, but that won't matter in a business like +this. Old George Mullens--his beard will look splendid. Charlie Mees. +He's lame; but I suppose a smuggler might be lame. How many's that?" + +"But," said Sir Evelyn, "oughtn't we to begin by considering----" + +"One lugger," Mrs. Eames went on. "It may be a little difficult to +get a lugger. Ten pack horses. I haven't the least idea what a pack +horse is, but I suppose an ordinary horse will do if it's dressed up +properly. Everybody will have to dress up of course. Fifty or sixty +kegs. I suppose Harrod's will be able to supply us with kegs. They sell +everything." + +"But," said Sir Evelyn desperately, "where's the money to come from?" + +"The public, of course," said Mrs. Eames. "The public is going to pay +enormous sums." + +"I was thinking of preliminary expenses," said Sir Evelyn. + +"Oh, they won't be much," said Mrs. Eames cheerfully, "and I think +we'll easily be able to get a grant from some society. Look at the +number of societies there are which go in for encouraging artistic +handicrafts for the people. Now don't interrupt me, Sir Evelyn. I know +just as well as you do that a pageant isn't a handicraft, but it's +the same sort of thing. It's just as good as folk dancing anyhow, and +there's always money going for that, and folk songs. We'll introduce +a folk dance and a few folk songs if necessary. Then there are all the +people who want to revive national drama. This is national drama." + +Sir Evelyn, though inclined to be critical, was impressed. There are +enormous numbers of people, most of them incorporated into societies, +who are willing to give money, of which they seem to have more than +they want, for just such enterprises as Mrs. Eames's. There ought not +to be any great difficulty about getting at them. + +"And of course," said Mrs. Eames, "we can get a grant from the County +Education Committee." + +"That," said Sir Evelyn firmly, "would be totally impossible." + +This light-hearted suggestion of pillaging public funds came perilously +near being an insult when made to a man who was once a Cabinet +Minister. Sir Evelyn resented it and showed his feelings in his voice. +Mrs. Eames was in no way abashed. + +"I don't see why not," she said. "A pageant is a most educative thing. +No one can possibly deny that. Lots and lots of money is spent on +things which aren't nearly so educative as our pageant will be. I mean +educative in the true sense of the word." + +Everyone who says educative and education means the words to be +understood in this way. The thought of the "true sense" mollified +Sir Evelyn a little. It soothes everyone who has anything to do with +education, except the public which has to pay for it. It realises +that education in the "true sense" is more expensive than any other. +Mrs. Eames saw that she had produced a good effect and pressed her +advantage. + +"I'm sure we'd get a grant from the committee," she said, "if you asked +for it." + +Sir Evelyn was most uncomfortably conscious that this was true. A +suggestion from him would go a long way with any County Committee, +and if he described Mrs. Eames's pageant as an educational enterprise +everyone would at once believe him. Unfortunately, having been a +gentleman before he became a politician, he was afflicted with a +certain sense of honesty. + +"It's only a matter of its being put properly to the proper people," +said Mrs. Eames persuasively, "and you can do that easily." + +"I'd rather give you fifty pounds myself," said Sir Evelyn desperately, +"than ask for a grant from any public fund." + +"How perfectly sweet of you," said Mrs. Eames. "Now there needn't be +any worry about money. There can't be much more wanted. Timothy will be +delighted when I tell him. He's always just a little inclined to fuss +about money, and these things do cost something, don't they? I wish I +could tell him about your fifty pounds at once and make his mind easy. +But he's up in the church and I simply daren't disturb him." + +"In the church?" + +Sir Evelyn was impressed and quite understood that a vicar--admittedly +on the verge of becoming a saint--ought not to be disturbed while +engaged in prayer and meditation. + +"Locked in," said Mrs. Eames. "He always locks himself into the church +for a while when I get up anything for the parish. So naughty of him, +but that's the kind of man he is. However I'll tell him about your +fifty pounds when he comes home in the evening." + +Mrs. Eames was perfectly right in saying that her husband had locked +himself in. But Sir Evelyn's inference was wrong. Mr. Eames was not +engaged in devotional exercises. He was reading the works of the +philosopher Epictetus--a very wise choice of literature, for no writer, +ancient or modern, has more comfort to offer to those who suffer from +the worries and minor ills of life. Nervous irritability, impotent +anger and such afflictions of temper are almost invariably soothed by +a study of the excellent teaching of Epictetus. Mr. Eames read the +philosopher in Greek, which is the best way to read him, for no one +can read Greek very fast, and the necessity of going slowly in order to +understand the words gives time for the digestion of the matter behind +them. + +There is nothing irreverent or even improper about reading Epictetus +in church. He was a pagan, but so nearly a Christian that the mediæval +monks mistook him for one of the fathers of the church and treated his +works as books of devotion. If the monks of the sainted Middle Ages +took this view of Epictetus a twentieth century English vicar who reads +him in church cannot be regarded as profane. + +Mr. Eames, owing to the unrestored condition of his church, was able +to make himself fairly comfortable while reading. Hailey Compton +parish church was built originally in the Early English style, and was +refurnished every hundred years or so in accordance with the taste of +each period. The Victorian churchwardens, when their turn came, filled +it with large high-backed square pews, put thick cushions on the seats +and provided footstools for the convenience of worshippers with short +legs. There were fireplaces in some of the pews and occasionally there +were arm-chairs. To avoid draughts and secure privacy red curtains +were hung round the principal pews. The leading idea was the physical +comfort of the worshippers, and the churchwardens seemed to have held +with Bishop Blougram that soul was at its best when "body gets its sop +and holds its noise." No one need be ashamed of being a disciple of +Bishop Blougram, who was a most successful ecclesiastic, on the way to +become a Cardinal or perhaps a Pope. + +It was in one of these great square pews that Mr. Eames settled down +with his Epictetus. He shut the door. He drew the curtains. He sat at +ease in an arm-chair with his outstretched feet on a stool. A thick, +though dirty carpet covered the floor. A man might have a worse study +if he were content to read without smoking. When Mr. Eames felt that a +full appreciation of Epictetus required tobacco he went out and smoked +a pipe, sitting on a tombstone. + +This pew, the largest and best furnished in the church, had its place +in the chancel, close to the altar rails. It had been dedicated a +century or so before to the use of the lord of the manor. But for many +years there had been no lord of the manor or resident squire in Hailey +Compton. The pew was therefore unused except by the vicar when he +retired for a while from the turmoil of his wife's activities. + + + + +Chapter V + + +It is a depressing fact and something of a disgrace to human nature +that the efforts of those who try to benefit their neighbours +are seldom appreciated. Our most active benefactors are generally +unpopular. Reformers of a serious kind, those who try to rid the world +of beer, tobacco and the opportunity of betting, no doubt expect to be +detested, and reckon the dislike they incur as part of the reward of +their virtue. At all events they richly deserve all they get in the way +of unpopularity. But it is hard on those much less culpable people who +merely insist on others amusing themselves in unaccustomed ways that +their efforts should earn no gratitude. + +Mrs. Eames, for instance, had no objection to beer, often smoked +cigarettes and might have bet small sums if the temptation had come her +way. She did nothing worse in the village than stir up young men and +maidens to act plays; which they ought to have liked doing but did not. +She was not herself unpopular, but her plays were, and the announcement +that a fresh one was to be started, was received year after year with +groans from those likely to be implicated, and from the whole community +with a stolid passive resistance, which only energy as unfailing as +Mrs. Eames's could possibly have overcome. + +She knew all this and fully expected that the pageant prospect would +be received by the village people with mutterings of revolt. It was. +Mrs. Eames, who believed in what she called personal influence, made +a rapid visitation of the village, explained the glories and delights +of pageants, and was met almost everywhere with gloomy hostility. +Only James Hinton of the Anchor Inn gave her the least encouragement, +and even his reception of the project would scarcely have been called +encouraging except by contrast to the hostility elsewhere. Hinton, at +least, did not condemn the pageant without hearing what it was to be. +He questioned Mrs. Eames about it and finally promised to think the +matter over carefully. + +Mrs. Eames summoned a public meeting to consider the pageant and to +make the necessary arrangements. + +This was always her way of proceeding. She liked public meetings +because they gave her opportunities for making speeches, and she +believed, like most English people, that a meeting is as necessary to +an undertaking of any kind as trousers are to a man. There would be +something indecent about a scheme which came into the world not clothed +in a resolution of approval, duly passed, not adorned with a properly +appointed treasurer and secretary. + +A Tuesday ten days after Sir Evelyn's visit was fixed for the meeting +and the schoolroom was chosen as the place of assembly. + +Mrs. Eames did not expect a large audience. While discussing the +meeting beforehand with her husband she was able to predict with +complete confidence who would be there. + +"James Hinton, of course," she said. "He's your churchwarden." + +"I suppose he's more or less bound to be there," said the vicar, "to +represent me. I'm certainly not going." + +"Of course not, darling. Everyone knows you hate meetings and you +wouldn't be any use if you did go. I'm sure the school teachers will be +there. They always come to all meetings." + +The schoolmaster and his two assistant damsels attended Mrs. Eames's +meetings regularly. The schoolmaster liked proposing resolutions. His +assistants took it in turns to second anything he proposed. + +"And Mrs. Mudge," Mrs. Eames went on, "and Mrs. Purly and----" + +She named half a dozen old women, all of them widows, all of them +mildly pious, with a vague feeling that attendance at any meeting +summoned by Mrs. Eames was a religious act. + +"And some of the schoolboys." + +"They only go because they're allowed to shout," said the vicar. "All +boys love shouting anywhere, and it's particularly pleasant to be able +to yell in the schoolroom where they generally have to sit quiet." + +"Of course they love shouting, poor dears," said Mrs. Eames, "and I +love to hear them. Besides, Timothy, darling, a meeting is so dull if +nobody cheers. A speaker does want a little encouragement. Of course +it wouldn't do--I know quite well it wouldn't do--but all the same I +often think that most sermons would be better--not yours, Timothy--they +couldn't be nicer than they are--but most other sermons would be far +better if the choir boys were allowed to cheer occasionally. They'd +like it and you can't think how it would encourage the preacher." + +"If nobody else goes to your meeting," said the vicar, "and I'm sure +nobody else will, I don't see what good it is to hold a meeting at +all." + +A surprise, staggering in its unexpectedness, waited for Mrs. Eames +when she went to her meeting. + +The schoolroom was full to its utmost capacity. Indeed it had evidently +been more than full at some time shortly before the beginning of the +meeting. The schoolboys had been turned out to make room for their +elders. Smarting under a sense of injustice they tried to avenge +themselves by marching round the building and uttering howls of a +lamentable kind outside every window in turn. The schoolmaster, though +he deplored their action, refused to interfere, saying that he had no +authority outside school hours. Others were less scrupulous about their +legal position. Tommy Whittle, a burly fisherman, went out with a stick +and was using an argument which the boys thoroughly understood when +Mrs. Eames arrived. Fortunately for the success of the meeting Tommy +Whittle had made his meaning perfectly plain to the leading boys before +he followed Mrs. Eames into the room. + +She was obliged to push her way through the door, though everyone +tried to make way for her. Those who could not find seats were crowded +together at the bottom of the room, and it was almost impossible +for them to pack any closer even in order to let Mrs. Eames pass. +Once well into the room she made a triumphal progress towards the +platform amidst bursts of cheers, stamping of feet and clapping of +hands. On the platform, waiting to receive her, were James Hinton and +the schoolmaster, whom she expected, and, an astonishing sight, Jack +Bunce, one of the oldest and most influential men in the village, +fellow churchwarden with James Hinton. He had hitherto been obstinately +opposed to all Mrs. Eames's activities. All three stood bowing low as +she advanced towards them. + +James Hinton, holding up his hand for silence, proposed that Mrs. Eames +should take the chair. + +This was quite unnecessary. She took it of her own accord, and as a +matter of accustomed right, as soon as she reached the platform. + +Jack Bunce was seen--but owing to the cheering, not heard--to be +making a short speech. It is likely that he was seconding Hinton's +proposition, very superfluously indeed, but he may have been saying +something else. No one ever knew. + +The size of the audience and the warmth of her reception amazed Mrs. +Eames. Never before had she seen the people of Hailey Compton stirred +to the smallest interest in anything, but there was no doubt about +their excited enthusiasm over the pageant. When she began to speak they +cheered every sentence. + +"In times past," she said, "we have made several efforts to revive +drama in our village." + +"Three cheers for drama," shouted Tommy Whittle, waving the stick with +which he had beaten the boys, and the cheers were given. + +"Shakespeare----" said Mrs. Eames. + +"Three cheers for Shakespeare," said old Jack Bunce, who had always +hated the plays. + +"Shakespeare----" said Mrs. Eames, when the shouting subsided. + +"Ladies and gentlemen," said Hinton, interrupting her, "before we go +further I think that the name of the immortal Shakespeare should be +received by all standing, in respectful silence." + +Only the boys outside broke the silence. They had not been able to hear +what Hinton said. + +Mrs. Eames, despairing perhaps of ever getting any further with that +part of her speech, dropped Shakespeare abruptly and went on to speak +of village art in general terms. The applause was loud. She repeated +one after another things that she had said hundreds of times and always +to people who neither would nor could understand what she meant. She +was perhaps no better understood at this wonderful meeting, but what +she said was certainly approved. + +Her eyes gleamed with delight. Her face was flushed with excitement. +She could feel her heart beating in rapid throbs. But she began to +get a little hoarse from the effort to make herself heard during the +cheering. When she had been talking for half an hour, about art, song +and dance, all of the "folk" or superior kind, the audience began +to show signs of impatience. Instead of simply cheering, the younger +men at the back of the room took to shouting "Pageant! Pageant!" They +pronounced the first syllable as if it rhymed with rage, but there was +no doubt about what they meant. They wanted to get on, past art of all +kinds, to the proper business of the meeting. + +There was a good deal to say about the pageant. And Mrs. Eames +had matter enough, if properly spun out, to keep her speech going +for another hour. She would have enjoyed making an oration of that +length and no doubt would have done it if her voice had held out. +Unfortunately for her it failed. Few, if any, human voices would have +done any better. The contest between a single speaker and a cheering +crowd is unequal and can only have one end. Mrs. Eames sat down at +last. Her final words, muttered hoarsely, were, "Smugglers"--"old +days"--"Hailey Compton"--"hardy breed of seadogs." + +The cheers rose in a fine crescendo to a noise which would have made a +German orchestra playing Wagner's music sound restrained and soothing. +The people were no doubt very glad that Mrs. Eames had reached the +end of her speech, but there must have been something more than simple +relief behind their cheering. The ancestors of these fishermen, their +grandfathers and great grandfathers a century or so before, had been +noted smugglers, famous even in an age when everyone in the south +of England smuggled. The deadening tyranny of a hundred years of +law and order had tamed and cowed the Bunces and Whittles of to-day, +but deep down in them was the old spirit. Mrs. Eames had appealed to +sub-conscious selves with atavistic memories. + +The surprises of the evening were not at an end. When Mrs. Eames sat +down James Hinton rose. He held in his hand a large piece of paper and +an observer in the audience might have supposed that he intended to +read a speech. But Hinton had a spirit above manuscript and it was very +soon evident that the paper contained something far more interesting +and more amazing than the notes of any speech. + +"A pageant," he said gravely and with quiet dignity, "a great pageant, +a pageant displaying one of the most glorious epochs of our national +story----" Cheers from such of the audience as had any voices left +stopped him for a moment. "Such a pageant as we contemplate cannot +be run without the expenditure of considerable sums in preliminary +expenses." + +At this point of the speech--a point which must be reached in a speech +made by someone at every meeting convened for a good purpose--the +audience usually becomes uncomfortable and often begins to melt away. +But the Hailey Compton people were apparently prepared to face even a +subscription list. They cheered again. The reason of this confidence +was apparent almost at once. The subscription list had been handed +round days before and was already complete. + +"I have therefore much pleasure, madam," Hinton went on, bowing low to +Mrs. Eames, "in presenting to you a guarantee for the sum of £51 2s. +6d. together with a list of the names of the guarantors of what I may, +perhaps, call the Pageant Fund." + +Mrs. Eames gasped. In all her experience of Hailey Compton--perhaps +in all the experience of all vicars and vicars' wives of all country +parishes--no such thing as this had ever happened. With the utmost +difficulty she had managed to extract sixpences and threepences from +unwilling people for the expenses of "Macbeth" and "Othello." For +"Hamlet" she expected to have to pay entirely out of her own pocket. +Yet here, unasked for and unsought, was more than fifty pounds offered +to her. + +She rose to her feet, tried to find words to express at once gratitude +and amazement. She choked, swallowed hard, felt slightly faint and +sat down again abruptly. The emotion of the evening had been too much +for her. Never before in her whole life had Mrs. Eames been unable +to express herself in fluent and ready speech. But then she had never +before come face to face with a miracle. + +The people cheered again, hoarsely, but as fervently as ever. This +time they felt that they were cheering themselves. The £1 2s. 6d. +represented the subscription of the fishermen to the fund. The fifty +pounds came from Hinton. + + + + +Chapter VI + + +The meeting in the schoolroom lasted far longer than any meeting in +Hailey Compton had ever lasted before. After all possible speeches +had been made and votes of thanks proposed to everyone who could be +supposed to deserve such a compliment and to a good many people who +could not, there remained the business of enrolling the performers for +the pageant. This was difficult, for almost everyone present wanted to +take part, and the boys, successfully kept out until the speeches were +over, managed after that to force their way in and added greatly to the +confusion. + +It was long after ten o'clock when Mrs. Eames reached home. She hoped +but scarcely expected to find her husband waiting for her. Mrs. Eames +was a lady who delighted in talking over everything she did at great +length, and she had no objection to sitting up until the early hours of +the morning. Her husband knew this, as he knew most things about her +after twelve years of married life. He disliked talking, which seemed +to him a vain amusement, and hated sitting up late. His plan, on the +occasions of evening meetings, was to go to bed about nine o'clock and +then pretend to be asleep. On the evening of the pageant meeting he +really was asleep before his wife came home. This did not altogether +save him. Mrs. Eames woke him. It was absolutely necessary to her to +discuss the astonishing events of the evening with someone. + +"Dearest one," she said, shaking him gently. + +He groaned, turned over and buried his face in the pillow. + +"Darling Timothy," she said, "you must wake up for just one minute. I +want to tell you what happened at the meeting this evening." + +She shook him again, not so gently as at first, and he opened his eyes. + +"The whole village," she said, "was wildly enthusiastic about the +pageant, and James Hinton has promised fifty pounds." + +The vicar heard her and was almost startled into complete wakefulness. +But the mind, though it works erratically, does work during the +interval of half consciousness between waking and sleeping. What Mrs. +Eames said was entirely incredible. The vicar took it for granted that +she could not really have said it. He was, he supposed, dreaming a +dream rather more absurd than most dreams are. + +"Yes, yes," he murmured, "how nice." + +This seemed to him, still reasoning confusedly, a very good answer to +make to a dream statement of a particularly foolish kind. It was not +an answer which satisfied Mrs. Eames. She repeated, in much louder +tones, her news about the village people. She added details about the +meeting and described the extraordinary enthusiasm of the audience. +This time the vicar was almost convinced he was awake and tried to +make up his mind to sit up and ask questions. But Mrs. Eames repeated +the statement about James Hinton's fifty pounds and the vicar's reason +reasserted itself. It could not be true that James Hinton had promised +fifty pounds to a pageant. If he seemed to hear his wife saying such a +thing it was plain that he was still asleep and dreaming. With a view +to getting rid of what threatened to become a nightmare he murmured +again: + +"How nice! How very, very nice!" + +Then he turned over again and shut his eyes firmly. Mrs. Eames gave him +up after that and went down to the kitchen. Gladys, incompetent cook +and unwilling housemaid, was not the listener she wanted. But Gladys +would be better than no one, and would be obliged to listen to any +story, however long, told by her mistress. + +Here luck favoured Mrs. Eames. She found in the kitchen not only Gladys +but the lady whom Gladys called "My auntie," the very lady who had +made the pancakes for Sir Evelyn Dent. While Gladys fussed about and +made tea for Mrs. Eames the "auntie" listened with real interest to +the story of the evening. Her husband was one of those chosen to be +a smuggler. Her eldest boy had done his full share of the shouting. +Mrs. Eames was gratified at the interest with which she listened, +but disappointed when she showed little or no surprise at what had +happened. + +While Mrs. Eames, having more or less exhausted her subject and +herself, was drinking the tea which Gladys made for her, the "auntie" +told a story of her own which helped to explain the amazing attitude of +the villagers towards the pageant. Mrs. Eames was so much interested +that she actually listened to what was said to her, a thing she very +rarely did. + +According to the "auntie," the village people had been at first just +as strongly opposed to the pageant as to any of the plays. But James +Hinton had talked long to several of the leading men, to Jack Bunce, +his fellow churchwarden, to the elder Whitty and others. No one knew +exactly what he said, for the conversations were held in private in +Hinton's own sitting-room at hours when the bar was not open to the +public. The result, whatever was said, was surprising. One after +another the leading men of the village declared themselves in favour of +the pageant. They told their sons and daughters and other dependents +to do exactly what Mrs. Eames bade them, exactly as they were bidden +and promptly. If there was any disobedience the consequences would be +serious and unpleasant. + +"But," said the "auntie," "young men aren't what they were when I was +a girl. Nor the girls aren't either." Here she scowled at Gladys. "And +as likely as not the thing they're bidden to do is just what they won't +do though they would have if they hadn't been bidden." + +Fortunately there was another influence which could be and was brought +to bear on the young men. James Hinton was admittedly the richest man +in the village and wealth is power everywhere in the world. When he +came to Hailey Compton and took over the inn from the executor of the +previous owner, he had re-painted, re-decorated, and largely re-built +the house. He had, moreover, paid cash without hesitation or grumbling +for everything that was done. Never in living memory had so much money +been spent in the village on building and furnishing. It therefore +seemed possible, and indeed likely, that Hinton might spend more money +and that made everyone anxious to be on good terms with him. He was +also, from the point of view of the village men, a model landlord for +their only inn. The beer and cider which he sold were good, of a much +better quality than they had been before he came. He was willing to +extend credit to those who, though thirsty, had no ready money. He +seldom pressed for the payment of accounts, even when they were large +and long overdue. He was willing to accept mortgages on cottages and +gardens, even mortgages on future catches of fish, as satisfactory +discharges of debts. + +A man to whom half the community owes money, to whom the other half +expects to owe money very soon, is in a strong position. If he chooses +to support any cause there will be little opposition. When James +Hinton, having persuaded the older men that the pageant was desirable, +said the same thing without explanation to the young men and maidens, +all real opposition vanished. + +This was the "auntie's" account of what had happened. Mrs. Eames +accepted it as an explanation of everything except James Hinton's +attitude. That remained a mystery. + +It was true, as the "auntie," a shrewd woman, suggested, that James +Hinton might make a good deal of money out of the pageant, if it were +a success. + +"If there were a lot of people came to Hailey Compton in them there +charabancs----" + +"And there will be," said Mrs. Eames eagerly. "Hundreds of people will +come. Thousands. And they'll all have to go to the Anchor Inn for lunch +and tea. There's nowhere else they can go." + +"And James Hinton can charge what he pleases," said the "auntie." + +"I see that," said Mrs. Eames. "He'll make money out of it. That's it." + +To anyone with Mrs. Eames's faith in the ultimate success of the +pageant, the explanation should have been completely satisfying. James +Hinton had promised what he would never be called upon to pay, with the +certainty that his promise secured him the opportunity of earning large +sums. To anyone less enthusiastic than Mrs. Eames, Hinton's guarantee +would have looked like a desperate speculation. If the pageant cost a +good deal, as it would, and then failed to attract a large audience, he +would have to pay and would stand no chance of recouping himself. Even +to Mrs. Eames this view of Hinton's action presented itself all the +more clearly because she knew the man and was firmly convinced that he +would never allow himself to be swayed by altruism. His guarantee, in +spite of the explanation offered, remained a puzzle. + +"It's time," said the "auntie," "for me to be getting home along." + +She had drunk her share of the tea. She had heard all that Mrs. Eames +had to say, thereby providing herself with a store of authentic gossip +which would make her an important person in the village next day. + +Mrs. Eames chased the unwilling Gladys to bed, having very little +hope that the girl would be up in time to light the kitchen fire +next morning. Girls, especially girls with Gladys's disposition, are +exceedingly sleepy at six o'clock in the morning if they have sat up +till nearly midnight the night before. + +Then Mrs. Eames went to bed herself and slept soundly, untroubled by +the problem of James Hinton's support of the pageant. She had long +learnt the folly of worrying over the "whys" of things, especially +satisfactory things. James Hinton had done what she herself could +never have done nearly so well. He had persuaded the whole village to +take up the smuggling pageant with enthusiasm. That was a fact of the +most agreeable kind. Why poke into the reasons of it? James Hinton +had promised fifty pounds, and, an almost more astonishing thing, had +induced the village people to promise one pound two and sixpence. These +also were facts. With them, as a sensible woman, she was more than +content. It would, indeed, have been nice to know just why James Hinton +had offered his money and how he expected to make anything substantial +out of the business. But the problem was not one which could keep Mrs. +Eames awake. + + + + +Chapter VII + + +The next day was a busy one for Mrs. Eames. + +It began with a demand from Gladys for a whole holiday. Her plea was +that it was absolutely necessary for her to consult with her "auntie" +on matters of grave family importance. She had spent a whole day the +week before and two half-days in the course of a fortnight in the same +way; and the "auntie" had been in the vicarage kitchen for several +hours on all the other days. As an excuse for asking for another +holiday the family consultation would not have impressed the simplest +and most inexperienced mistress, and Mrs. Eames was no fool. She +understood exactly what Gladys wanted her holiday for. + +The whole village was seething with mild excitement over the meeting +of the night before. Gossip of the most fascinating kind was flying +from lip to ear at every cottage door. The most wild and improbable +tales were being listened to with perfect belief. No girl would like +to be shut up by herself in a kitchen while such joys were to be found +outside. And Gladys, with her intimate knowledge of all that happened +in the vicarage, would be welcome anywhere. She would be in a position +to command the attention of thrilled audiences whatever she chose to +say. + +Mrs. Eames thoroughly understood this. Being a kind-hearted woman, +full of sympathy with anyone who enjoyed excitement, she gave Gladys a +holiday without a murmur. + +This was not so difficult for her as it would have been for many +mistresses. The vicar went off soon after breakfast with a package of +sandwiches in his pocket. There was therefore no cooking to be done +for him. Mrs. Eames never cooked for herself when left alone. She did +not even lay a table for herself or go to the trouble of getting out +plates, knives or forks. Her plan, a very sensible one, was to eat +whatever she could find whenever she felt hungry, generally without +even sitting down. When Gladys walked off in a white skirt and a pink +silk jumper, Mrs. Eames had to make the beds and wash up the breakfast +things. Otherwise the want of a servant left her with little or no +extra work. + +She was washing up cups and plates when she caught sight through the +pantry window of James Hinton. Many vicars' wives, obliged to keep +up the difficult pretence that they live as ladies, would have been +embarrassed at being discovered in an apron, with sleeves rolled +up, over a pantry sink, by a visitor like Hinton. But Mrs. Eames was +entirely free from any taint of snobbishness. She would have gone on +ironing clothes in front of her drawing-room fire if a duchess had +called on her while so occupied. She greeted Hinton through the window +and invited him to walk straight into the pantry. + +Hinton's manners were as good as hers. Instead of expressing surprise +or contempt, instead of offering any kind of excuse or apology for +Mrs. Eames's occupation, he took his place beside the sink, picked up +a glass-cloth and dried the vessels which Mrs. Eames handed to him. He +did not even allow it to appear by a glance or a sniff that he found +the cloth he used disgustingly dirty, though it was, being one of those +of which Gladys had charge. It was not in vain that Hinton had lived +as footman and valet in some of the best houses in England. He had +acquired the manners of a great gentleman. + +While they worked together, Hinton explained the objects of his visit. +It was, in his opinion, desirable to secure as many influential patrons +as possible for the pageant. + +"Of course," said Mrs. Eames, "we've got to advertise, and there are +only two ways of doing that. Either we've got to spend a lot of money, +which we haven't got--though your guarantee was extremely generous. It +quite took my breath away." + +"A trifle, madam," said Hinton, drying a plate carefully, "a mere +trifle." + +"It wasn't a trifle at all," said Mrs. Eames, "but it won't run to a +whole page advertisement in a daily paper. Luckily there's another way +of advertising. My niece, Miss Appleby, told me about it. You know her, +don't you?" + +Hinton had never met Beth Appleby, but was quite prepared to listen to +her views about advertising. + +"The thing to do," said Mrs. Eames, brandishing a dripping cloth, "is +to get names that advertise themselves." + +Hinton took the fork from her gently and wiped it with Gladys's dirty +cloth. + +"Quite so, madam." + +"If you get the proper names," said Mrs. Eames, "the newspapers will +put in paragraphs about them without being paid. That's what my niece +says." + +"Having lived in many of the best houses in England," said Hinton, "I +may say that I am aware of the advertisement value of our aristocracy." + +"It's not only the aristocracy. Politicians are just as good. Actresses +are probably better. Even authors--there are one or two authors----" + +"I thought, madam," said Hinton, "that we might begin by securing the +name of the bishop of the diocese." + +Mrs. Eames sniffed. The bishop was a man of unblemished integrity, +of kindly disposition, of respectable scholarship, but he did not +strike her as having what Hinton described as "advertisement value." +He had never denied the truth of any article in the Apostles' +Creed. He did not preach in Methodist Chapels, or if he did made no +public boast about it. He had never prosecuted any of his clergy for +excessive devotion to catholicism. These are the only ways in which an +ecclesiastic can attract public attention to himself, that is to say +the only ways of acquiring "advertisement value." + +"I don't see," said Mrs. Eames, "that the bishop would be much good to +us." + +Hinton bowed a submissive acquiescence in her opinion. + +"I'm sure you know best, madam." + +"My idea," said Mrs. Eames, "would be to start with Sir Evelyn Dent. +He has promised to support us and I'm sure he'll have no objection to +the use of his name as a patron. An ex-Cabinet Minister with a title! +Don't forget the title, Hinton. And he has an honourable all of his own +besides the knighthood." + +"Sir Evelyn," said Hinton, "might perhaps secure the support of the +present earl." + +"Present earl? Oh, of course, his nephew, Lord Colavon. Yes. He would +be quite good. An earl is an earl of course, but except for being +an earl he's nothing particular, is he? I mean to say he's not well +known." + +"Not in political or literary circles, madam. The tastes of the present +earl are understood to be sporting and dramatic." + +"Dramatic!" Mrs. Eames became suddenly interested. + +Hinton was drying the last saucer. Mrs. Eames, the task of washing up +finished, was rubbing her dripping hands on her apron. + +"Scarcely dramatic in the higher sense of the word," said Hinton. "The +tastes of the present earl are rather in the direction of comic opera." + +"He won't do us any harm, I suppose," said Mrs. Eames, "and I dare say +Sir Evelyn will get him for us. Now who else would you suggest?" + +"Did I mention the bishop, madam?" + +"You did. And I said I didn't see what use the bishop would be. In +fact he'd be worse than no use. If the public sees the name of a bishop +at the head of a list of patrons it naturally thinks that the show is +going to be a Diocesan Conference or something of the sort and simply +stays away." + +Again Hinton gave way, or appeared to give way. + +"It might be advantageous, madam," he said, "if we secured the name of +some gentleman prominently connected with the customs and excise." + +Hinton's ideas of suitable patrons were certainly odd. A custom house +officer, though a useful and generally an active civil servant, is not +the sort of man whose name often appears in the newspapers. + +"The name of a custom house officer on our list of patrons," Hinton +explained, "would convince the public that our pageant is entirely +_bona fide_." + +"But what else could it be? You don't mean to suggest that we should +really smuggle things?" + +"Of course not, madam, but the public is sometimes very unintelligent, +and----" + +"No public could possibly be as stupid as that." + +The cups and plates were by this time restored to their shelves in the +pantry. Hinton, having discovered a leather, was giving an unaccustomed +polish to the spoons and forks. + +"I only suggested a customs officer," he said, "because I thought that +if he became interested he might arrange for some of his subordinates +to take part in the pageant, as preventive officers, capturing +the smugglers and the lugger. That's simply an idea. Of course the +management of the dramatic side of the pageant is entirely in your +hands." + +"It's a jolly good idea. Real coastguards--but of course there aren't +any now. Real preventive officers riding down the hill just in time +to---- Or coming in a revenue cutter and firing on the lugger. I wonder +if we could get them. Oh, do stop polishing those spoons, Hinton. It +fidgets me to see you. Come into the vicar's study and talk over this +idea of yours." + +"Perhaps," said Hinton as they left the room, "there are some other +household duties of which I could relieve you. I think you may safely +trust me. I have had considerable experience in some of the best houses +in England." + +"If you like to help me to make the vicar's bed," said Mrs. Eames, "I +don't mind." + +"I shall be most happy," said Hinton, "but I beg of you, madam, to +leave it entirely to me. If you will await me in the study----" + +He held the door open for her and when he had shown her into the room +went upstairs. But Mrs. Eames was not a lady who could sit still for +very long, especially with an exciting idea in her mind. The thought +of securing real customs officers thrilled her. After wandering about +the room for some minutes she followed Hinton upstairs. She found him +brushing an old and dilapidated pair of the vicar's trousers. + +"Do you happen to know any customs officers?" she asked. + +Hinton folded the trousers with careful exactness and put them in a +drawer. + +"Not personally, madam. But no doubt I can find out who the local head +of that service is." + +"Then do," said Mrs. Eames. "I'll leave that in your hands." + +"And the bishop?" said Hinton. "Perhaps it would be better if you or +the vicar were to approach the bishop." + +Hinton was stropping the vicar's razor with vigour and skill. + +"How you do nag on about the bishop!" said Mrs. Eames. "Please leave +that razor alone. The vicar cuts himself often enough as it is and if +you go making it too sharp he may give himself a dangerous gash. Why +on earth are you so keen on the bishop? I've no objection to bishops of +course, and if there's any real reason---- It's no use expecting him to +read the funeral service over a smuggler shot by a coastguard. I quite +see that would be most effective but no bishop would do it." + +"The idea in my mind----" said Hinton, who was arranging the vicar's +toothbrush and sponge neatly on the washing stand. + +He went on to give his reasons for wishing to secure the bishop as a +patron. + +Bishops, so he explained, inspire great confidence in the public, which +is always a little afraid of being let in for something improper or a +little dubious. + +"If we were concerned only with the aristocracy, madam, it would +be a different matter. If I may say so, speaking after many years' +experience of the upper classes, there would be no objection whatever +to a hint, a suggestion of the risqué." + +"But, good gracious, Hinton, we're not going to do anything in the +least risqué as you call it." + +"Certainly not, madam. Most assuredly not. But the public--the general +public apart from the aristocracy and outside of literary and artistic +circles--the public which we wish to attract, is very suspicious." + +Mrs. Eames did not believe that any public could possibly suspect her +pageant of being improper. But Hinton insisted that he was right and +that their only security lay in having at least one bishop among their +patrons. + +"Very well," she said at last, "I'll leave the list of patrons entirely +to you, Hinton. Get that sporting earl of yours if you can. Get a +few of his musical comedy actresses too. Get a bishop and a couple of +custom house officers. Get the local police if you like." + +"Thank you, madam. Will you approach the bishop or shall I see the +vicar about it?" + +"You'd better do it yourself. As a churchwarden you've a perfect right +to tackle a bishop. And anyway I'm sure the vicar won't, though he +ought to after the way you've folded his trousers for him and stropped +his razor. All I ask is that if you have a committee meeting of your +patrons----" + +"There will not, I imagine, madam, be any necessity for that." + +"Well, if there is," said Mrs. Eames, "you may take the chair at it +yourself, for I won't." + + + + +Chapter VIII + + +Although Battersea is far from being a fashionable part of London there +are pleasant little flats to be had there, overlooking the park, for +those who are indifferent to the advantages of a smart address. + +One of these is shared by Beth Appleby and her friend Mary Lambert. +Beth Appleby makes an unsatisfying income by casual journalism, relying +chiefly on the small but regular payments made by a syndicating agency +for a weekly letter on London life. This is widely circulated in +provincial papers. Miss Lambert dances fairly well and sings badly. +She obtains engagements of uncertain duration in revues and musical +comedies. There are times when she envies the steady weekly income +paid to her friend by the syndicators. There are other times when Beth +Appleby thinks that dancing is a better way of earning a living than +writing. Pens may be mightier than swords, but legs are often more +profitable than either. + +The two girls were together in their flat one sunny morning at the end +of May, just such a morning as makes young people long for pleasure and +makes work of every kind extremely irksome, and, for most of us--though +the thing seems self-contradictory--the want of work more irksome +still. + +Beth was at her writing-table, her pen in her hand, a sheet of paper in +front of her. She had written the words "Lilith lisps" and then come +to a dead stop. This was not surprising. Lilith had already lisped +four times since breakfast. Beth lacked matter for a fifth and, like +Rosalind's orator in a similar case, felt strongly inclined to spit. + +Mary lay back in the most comfortable chair in the room with her feet +on another. She had a cigarette between her fingers which she put to +her lips occasionally but without much satisfaction. She was meditating +disconsolately on the failure of the last show in which she had danced, +a disaster which brought her face to face with the difficult task of +getting another engagement. + +"I wonder," said Beth irritably, "if there's anything in the world left +for Lilith to lisp about." + +"There's me," said Mary. "'Lilith lisps that Miss Lambert, the charming +young danseuse who has won the hearts of London playgoers, is thinking +of accepting a tempting offer to go to New York.'" + +"I'd do that and more for you, Mary, dear," said Beth, "if I thought +it would be the slightest use. But it wouldn't. Lilith's delightful +lispings aren't read by anybody except the wives and daughters of +greengrocers in Muddleborough and such places." + +"A provincial engagement would be better than nothing." + +"Besides," said Beth, "Lilith can't be always lisping about you. +It's only a fortnight ago that I had you 'robed in a novel and daring +creation' at a garden party given by Jimmy. He was rather stuffy about +it afterwards. He said that if any of his aunts had seen the paragraph +they'd have been down on him for not asking them to the party. I rather +think he was afraid that if I wrote anything more of the kind he might +be forced to give a garden party." + +Jimmy--spoken of in this familiar way by both girls--is the Earl of +Colavon, of whom James Hinton said that his tastes were sporting and +dramatic. + +"Let's invent another new frock," said Mary. "Next to having one, which +I can't, the most amusing thing would be to imagine what it would be +like if I could. I'll give you the details. All you have to do is to +say that you saw me in it at a reception in Lambeth Palace, given by +the Bishop of London." + +"It's the Archbishop of Canterbury who lives at Lambeth." + +"All the better. It sounds far grander for poor little me and less +likely to be contradicted. An archbishop can't possibly know who wears +what at his receptions. And, anyhow, he'll never read anything you +write, Beth, darling." + +"I'll tell you what I'll do for you if you like," said Beth. "I'll make +Lilith lisp that you're one of the patrons of Aunt Agatha's pageant. +She's got a bishop, so you really might be asked to a reception in a +palace. And she's got Sir Evelyn Dent. What she wants now are a few +literary and artistic stars to brighten things up a bit." + +"I'll do that all right for her, if she'll give me a decent contract +and pay for rehearsals." + +"I don't fancy Aunt Agatha can pay anybody for anything." + +"Well, I'm not going into it for the love of art; but if you can put +my name down as a patron it might be some use. Almost any kind of ad. +pays, and it isn't every day I get the chance of appearing in print +alongside of a bishop and a Prime Minister. Sir Evelyn Dent is Jimmy's +uncle, isn't he? And he used to be Prime Minister." + +"Not quite," said Beth, "but as near as doesn't matter." + +"What's the thing about? English history, I suppose. If it's Fair +Rosamund we might work in a dance. I could do something graceful in a +long skirt which wouldn't shock the bishop, holding the cup of poison +in my hand. Your aunt could be Queen Eleanor if she liked. I'd do it +for ten pounds and exes." + +"Nothing doing in that way, I'm afraid," said Beth. "It's about +smugglers." + +"Well, there's that Nautch Girl dance of mine. It's not bad at all. +And if your aunt can't pay I dare say Jimmy could screw a tenner out of +that uncle of his. It would be quite worth it to the show. No feeling +of stuffiness about that dance. I should think that pirates--you said +pirates, didn't you?" + +"Smugglers." + +"Much the same thing. Smugglers or pirates are sure to be mixed up with +nautch girls, whatever they are. Or at all events girls of some kind. +I don't mind calling it a geisha dance if they like. I could borrow a +kimono." + +"'Lilith lisps,'" said Beth, taking her pen again, "'that among the +patrons of the Hailey Compton Smuggling Pageant is Miss Mary Lambert, +whose Nautch Girl dance has just delighted London. The wide appeal +made by this pageant--the most magnificently staged show ever produced +in England--will be understood when it is realised that among those +interested, besides Miss Mary Lambert, are Sir Evelyn Dent, the +Bishop of ...' remind me afterwards to find out what he's bishop of. +'And....' Now did Aunt Agatha mention anyone else? I can't remember. +Anyhow, we'll put in Jimmy. He won't mind. 'The Earl of Colavon, whose +name stands _facile princeps_ among our sporting peers of the younger +generation.' Thank heaven, there's another lisp. That makes five. If +I'd three more I'd be through with the beastly things for this week, +and I'd take you out on top of a bus to Kew or somewhere to get a +breath of fresh air." + +Fortune was kind to Beth Appleby. While she was still biting the end +of her pen Lord Colavon came into the room. He brought with him an air +of breezy cheerfulness, very like the weather outside, and a gaiety +natural enough in one who was not compelled to write weekly "lispings" +for his daily bread and ran no risk of losing his income through the +failure of an apathetic public to appreciate a Nautch Girl dance. + +"Jimmy," said Beth, "help me out." + +"The precise thing I've come to do," said Jimmy. "New 8-cylinder Pallas +Athene, sports model, guaranteed 70 miles an hour on the road, did +over 100 at Brooklands, stands panting at the door. Dine at Oxford. +Dine at York. Dine anywhere you like. Home by moonlight. Is there a +moon? Must be a moon in May. 'The young May moon is beaming, love.' +The poet wouldn't have said that if there wasn't a moon in May. Dashed +particular about facts, poets have to be." + +"Oh, Jimmy," said Mary. "Just wait one minute till we get on our hats. +Come, Beth." + +But Beth Appleby had a conscience, or that fairly satisfactory +substitute for a conscience, a sense of prudence. Lilith's Lispings had +to be posted that night, or there would be no cheque at the end of the +week. And Lilith had only achieved six poor lisps. + +"Can't be done," she said, "simply can't. Unless you can help me out +with Lilith, Jimmy." + +Lord Colavon's tastes were sporting and dramatic, but he was not +altogether ignorant of our current literature. Thanks to an intimacy of +some years with Beth Appleby, he knew all about Lilith's lispings and +had often suggested valuable ideas. He did not fail now. + +"What about the Pallas Athene?" he said. "Absolutely the latest thing. +Triumph of British engineering. Revelation of speed possibility of road +travel. See company's catalogue, free on application." + +"'Lilith lisps,'" Beth wrote rapidly, "'that the _dernier cri_ in motor +luxury is the----' what did you call it, Jimmy?" + +"Pallas Athene. Sports model." + +Beth wrote down Pallas Athene and then went on: + +"'The upholstery is of delicately tinted Russia leather, equally suited +to the light fabric of a summer frock and the rich glow of winter +furs.'" + +"Hold on," said Jimmy. "There's no use misleading the good old public. +It's an 8-cylinder sports model, not a bus for going out to dinner in +at night." + +"What I've got to do," said Beth, "is to write something that'll +thrill my readers. Lilith doesn't get into motor garages, and isn't +read by mechanics. She lisps in the chaste parlours of the ladies of +the provincial middle classes. What they like to hear about is the +upholstery. They don't care a rap about cylinders." + +"Oh, well, say what you jolly well like about the car, but it will be +awkward for me if one of my aunts, or good old Uncle Evie, who might +almost as well be an aunt, went and bought the car expecting it to be +the sort of gentle family pet which purrs when stroked." + +"I suppose," said Beth, writing fast, "that you will have no objection +to my saying that you were seen getting out of the car outside a club +in St. James's?" + +"None in the world," said Jimmy. "You can say any mortal thing you like +about me, Beth, so long as you get through with that beastly writing of +yours and come out for a spin." + +"I've got you down already, along with Mary and Sir Evelyn and some +bishop or other, as a patron of Aunt Agatha's pageant." + +"I say, is that the thing Uncle Evie is so keen on? I'd a letter from +him the other day, asking me if I knew of a lugger which could be hired +by the week or bought cheap." + +"Good," said Beth. "I'll make a paragraph about that. 'Apropos of the +Hailey Compton Pageant, Lilith lisps that the harbours of England are +being searched for a genuine eighteenth century lugger. Lord Colavon, +who, besides being a keen motorist, is a distinguished yachtsman----'" + +"But, I say, what's the old pageant about? That's what I want to know, +and being a patron I think I've a right to ask." + +"Smuggling," said Beth. "But for goodness' sake don't interrupt. If I'm +to get these lispings done at all I simply must stick at it." + +"I don't believe Uncle Evie is going to smuggle. He's not sportsman +enough." + +Mary Lambert, fully dressed for the motor run, slipped into the room in +time to hear Jimmy's defence of his uncle's character. + +"If he won't," she said, "I wish somebody else would. The price of silk +stockings is scandalous, and unless something is done about it poor +girls like me won't be able to live at all. It seems to me, Jimmy, that +it's your plain duty to do a little smuggling in the interests of the +profession. Other people may be able to get on without silk. We can't. +It's a business necessity." + +Jimmy sat silent for a minute or two, meditating on Mary's proposal. +Then he suddenly addressed Beth. + +"Nearly finished? For if you're not too breathless to listen I've got +a scheme to propose." + +"Give me one more lisp," said Beth, "and I'm yours for a thousand miles +in the Russia leather Pallas Athene, all meals _en route_ provided +free." + +"What I was just going to suggest," said Jimmy, "is that we should run +down and dine with Uncle Evie, just to find out about this smuggling +stunt of his." + +"I should be terrified out of my life," said Mary. "I'm not accustomed +to Cabinet Ministers, or for the matter of that to titled aristocrats, +except you, Jimmy, and nobody would ever take you for an earl." + +"You needn't be the least bit nervous," said Jimmy. "Uncle Evie is a +bit boring at times, but he wouldn't frighten a ten-year-old orphan. +We'll send him a wire to say we're coming." + +"Jimmy," said Beth, "you're priceless! That's another lisp. Absolutely +a topper. 'I had the good fortune to be present a few evenings ago at +an informal little _al fresco_ dinner given by Sir Evelyn Dent in his +fascinating thirteenth century moated grange----'" + +"There's no moat," said Jimmy, "and it's a Manor House." + +"What does that matter?" said Beth. "It's old, I suppose. People like +your uncle always live in old houses." + +"It's old, all right," said Jimmy. + +"Then moated grange is the proper thing to call it when writing the +Lispings of Lilith, but if you really prefer it I don't mind calling it +an historic pile. 'Sir Evelyn, a dignified and gracious----' What's the +masculine of 'châtelaine,' Jimmy?" + +"'Château,' I should think," said Jimmy, "but don't call poor old Uncle +Evie that. He'd hate it." + +"'Sir Evelyn,'" said Beth, writing as she spoke, "'who between +ourselves----' I mean to say '_entre nous_ is something of a _grand +seigneur_.'" + +"I know I'll be petrified with terror," said Mary. "A _grand seigneur_ +in a moated grange." + +"'Among the guests,'" Beth went on, "'was the Earl of Colavon, who was +wearing the famous diamond studs which have been in the family since +Henry VIII gave them to Anne Boleyn, who was, as everybody knows, one +of the ancestors of the Dents,'" + +"Hang it all, Beth," said Jimmy, "I don't mind your making a fool of +me in any ordinary way, but a fellow must draw the line somewhere. Why +can't you say that Uncle Evie wore the diamond studs?" + +"I'm putting him down for the Garter Ribbon," said Beth, "so you must +have the diamond studs. Though I don't mind making them pearl if you'd +rather. You simply must give the public what it wants if you go in for +literature at all." + +"Well, hurry up," said Jimmy. "It's all of 180 miles down to Uncle +Evie's moated grange and I shall have to push the sports model along a +bit if we're to get there for the _al fresco_ dinner." + +"Five minutes more and I've finished," said Beth. "'The conversation +after dinner turned on---- Now what do you think, belovedest? Politics? +Wrong. Science? Wrong. Guess again. Well, if you won't, let us whisper: +silk stockings. But you'd have guessed that, wouldn't you? if I'd +mentioned that Miss Mary Lambert was one of the party.'" + +"I won't have it," said Mary. "As if I'd dare to talk about silk +stockings to a _grand seigneur_. Tell her not to, Jimmy." + +"Not much use my telling Beth anything. Besides, we are going to talk +about silk stockings, aren't we? I mean to say, that's the general idea +of the party--smuggling and so forth." + +"Thank Heaven, I've finished," said Beth. "I'll just run and change +my frock, and then we'll see what the Pallas Athene can do along the +roads." + +"If anybody talks about silk stockings," said Mary when Beth had left +the room, "it'll have to be you, Jimmy. I simply daren't to a man like +your uncle." + +"But that's what we're going to see Uncle Evie about. What I mean to +say is this: we want to get all the particulars about this smuggling +stunt of his, whether there's any chance of fitting in a little of the +real thing. It all depends, you know. But if we could manage to get in +a few dozen pairs of silk stockings under cover of the pageant it'd be +all to the good for you and Beth, wouldn't it?" + +"Jimmy," said Mary, "you're an angel!" + +"I don't promise anything. It all depends on how Uncle Evie's working +the thing. If he leaves the lugger part of the show in my hands---- +Didn't Beth say there was a bishop in it? You can do pretty nearly +anything if you're holding hands with a bishop. Nobody ever suspects +you. Besides, he might be a sportsman himself--the bishop, I mean. Some +are, I'm told. Anyhow, I don't suppose he'd have any objection to a +case of champagne. If he didn't care to drink it himself he could give +it away to poor parsons in the diocese." + + + + +Chapter IX + + +For the first hundred and thirty miles or so of the journey the Pallas +Athene did all that could be expected of an eight-cylinder sports model +driven by a young man who did not shrink from paying an occasional +fine. The needle of the speedometer often flickered past the sixty +miles mark. The average speed fell little short of double that which +our legislators--the same people who made the laws about beer--consider +sufficient. Ilchester was reached in less than four hours. Jimmy, +slowing down slightly through the long narrow street of the village, +congratulated himself and his passengers on the achievement. + +"I call that a satisfactory record so far," he said, "and we haven't +killed or maimed so much as a dog, which just shows the advantage of +careful driving." + +He congratulated himself too soon. The inhabitants of Ilchester, +indeed, escaped with their lives. Three main roads unite to run through +their village, so they have learnt to be exceedingly alert and active. +Lord Colavon had not so much as a broken collar-bone on his conscience +when he pressed his foot on the accelerator at the end of the village. +But a few miles along the road the engine began to give trouble. Jimmy +was perfectly sure that he knew what was the matter with it. He spent +ten minutes in oily work with a spanner. After that, things became +rapidly worse. Noises of the most terrifying kind became frequent, and +it was no longer possible to persuade the Pallas Athene to do more than +thirty miles an hour on a level stretch of road. + +Jimmy, less confident than he had been that he knew what was the +matter, left his direct road and went to Taunton. There he sought help +in a garage while the two girls had tea. The mechanic, an intelligent +and competent man, shook his head over the Pallas Athene. He preferred +a soberer and more reliable kind of car, even if it could not be driven +very fast. In his opinion it would be folly to go on any farther, and +he spoke vaguely of telegraphing to the makers of the car for some +spare parts. + +"Spare parts be damned," said Jimmy. "That means waiting here for the +best part of a week." + +The mechanic could not deny that the getting of spare parts is often +a tedious business, especially--here he glanced with dislike at the +Pallas Athene--"from the makers of cars like that." + +"Can't you patch her up somehow," said Jimmy, "so that I can push on +another forty or fifty miles? I haven't much more than that to do." + +"I can patch her up," said the mechanic, "but there's no man living can +tell how far she'll run afterwards." + +Being a cautious man, experienced in the ways of motor-cars, he +refused, even when pressed, to give any exact estimate of the distance +which the patched Pallas Athene might run. The only thing he regarded +as certain was that she would break down completely in the end. + +"It might be two miles out of the town," he said, "or it might be a +hundred." + +"Do the best you can with her while I'm getting a cup of tea," said +Jimmy. "Then fill up her tank and give her a pint of oil. I'll risk +it." + +The behaviour of the Pallas Athene after leaving Taunton was excellent. +It may have been that the hour's rest in the garage revived her. +More probably she was pleased by the attention she received from the +mechanic. All women, even dignified Greek goddesses, like being fussed +over and petted. Jimmy was moderate in his demands for speed and +did not demand anything more than what he called "a funeral trot" of +thirty-five miles an hour. Exeter was passed successfully, and the time +came when the main road must be left for the last stage of the journey. + +Jimmy, gaining confidence, ran at a fair speed up and down some abrupt +hills on roads marked on the maps in inferior colours, occasionally not +coloured at all. On a lonely open stretch of one of what the map makers +describe as "other metalled roads, narrow," the breakdown, prophesied +by the Taunton mechanic, came. Without so much as a warning shriek or +a death rattle the Pallas Athene gasped and stopped. + +Jimmy did all that a man could do. He lay on his back and screwed +nuts. He lay on his side and screwed other nuts. He crawled on his +stomach. He knelt, stooped, crouched, tapped and hammered. Like the +good Samaritan, he poured in oil and would have poured in wine too if +he had had any. Beth and Mary encouraged him and tried to help him. +They spread a whole kit of tools out on a bank on the side of the road +and very soon learned to distinguish between a double-ended spanner, a +box spanner and an adjustable spanner, often handed the right weapon to +Jimmy without giving him a wrong one more than a couple of times first. + +"Well I'm damned if I know what's wrong," said Jimmy, after an hour's +experimental effort. "If only the wretched thing had held out another +quarter of an hour we'd have been there, we can't be more than seven +or eight miles from Morriton St. James, and Uncle Evie's house is just +outside." + +"Couldn't Mary and I walk on," said Beth, "and send somebody back for +you? There must be a car in the village?" + +"Morriton St. James is a town, not a village," said Jimmy, "and there +are lots of cars, but it would take you the best part of three hours to +get there--if you ever got there at all. Look at Mary's shoes, and your +own are no better." + +Mary exhibited, for admiration or contempt, a delicate suède shoe, +certainly not intended for long walks over rough roads. + +"I'd go myself," said Jimmy, "but I hate leaving you two alone in a +place like this. I never saw such a road in my life. Not a blessed +thing has passed, going either way since the Pallas Athene lay down and +died." + +"I'll do a lisp next week," said Beth, "on the dangerously congested +condition of our country roads." + +"I don't suppose anything ever does pass or ever will," said Jimmy. + +He had been too optimistic at Ilchester over the performances of the +Pallas Athene. He was too pessimistic now about the traffic on the road +to Morriton St. James. A moving object appeared far off. The sound of +clanging metal reached their ears. A very old Ford car came rattling +towards them at a steady, but apparently laborious, twenty miles an +hour. At the steering wheel sat James Hinton of the Anchor Inn in +Hailey Compton. + +Jimmy was determined not to be passed by. There are a few motorists +as indifferent to the calls of charity as if they were priests or +Levites, who go their way without succouring those in distress on the +roadside. The driver of the Ford might be such a man. Jimmy made sure +that he would at least stop by standing with outstretched hands in the +middle of the road. The Pallas Athene, her wheels against one bank, +occupied about one third of the road, which was not very wide. Jimmy, +half-way to the other bank, made passing impossible without homicide. +He need not have taken such extreme measures. James Hinton pulled up +and inquired politely what was the matter and whether he could be of +any use. + +"If you'll take these two ladies into Morriton St. James," said Jimmy, +"and send someone back to tow this car I shall be greatly obliged, +and----" + +He felt in his pocket for a coin, looking hard at James Hinton, to +discover, if possible, whether he was the sort of man to whom a tip +should be offered. James Hinton, since he pulled up, had been looking +hard at Jimmy. In spite of the smears of oily dust which were on his +face and his generally dishevelled appearance, he was recognisable. + +"Certainly, my lord," he said. "It will be nothing but a pleasure to +oblige your lordship in any possible way. Would it be convenient if I +was to take the two ladies straight to the Manor House. It occurs to me +that your lordship may intend to pay a visit to Sir Evelyn Dent, your +lordship's uncle." + +"I say," said Jimmy. "You seem to know all about me, and I'm delighted +to meet you again and all that; but--damned stupid of me, of course--I +can't for the life of me recollect who you are." + +"Your lordship wouldn't recollect me," said Hinton. "It's not to be +expected that you would; but I was in the late earl's service as first +footman, and I had the honour of valetting your lordship sometimes +lately when you stayed with Lord Dollman without bringing your own +man." + +"Got you now," said Jimmy. "You're the fellow Dolly thought such a lot +of. Said he never knew anyone with such a talent for spotting winners. +Anyhow, Dolly used to make pots while he had you." + +"Very kind of his lordship to say so," said Hinton. "It's always been +my wish to give satisfaction." + +"I suppose you don't happen to be out of a job now. If you cared to +come to me---- What about it?" + +"Very kind of your lordship," said Hinton, "but I've retired from +gentlemen's service. But of course if I could be of any use to your +lordship----" + +"You can and shall," said Jimmy. "You shall take these two ladies to +the Manor House." + +"Jimmy, dear," said Mary, catching his arm, "I daren't, simply daren't +face your uncle without you. I don't believe Beth would either. He +wouldn't know who we were." + +"It would be a bit awkward," said Beth. "I don't suppose Sir Evelyn has +so much as heard our names." + +She was wrong about that. Sir Evelyn had heard her name very often +since the idea of the smuggling pageant occurred to Mrs. Eames. He had +even read, with gratification, every lisp of Lilith's in which his name +had been mentioned since Beth began her campaign of advertising the +pageant. + +James Hinton, who had left his seat and was arranging the back part +of his car for the reception of ladies, understood the situation, or +thought he did. In fact he understood it too well, believing it to be +rather more awkward than it actually was. It was perfectly plain to him +that the two girls did not belong to the class which habitually visits +the houses of our higher aristocracy. Since, in spite of that, they +spoke to Lord Colavon as "Jimmy, dear," he assumed that they belonged +to another class which could not be introduced to Jimmy's aunts, or +even to his uncle without some explanation. + +"If I might be allowed to make a suggestion, my lord," he said, "why +not permit me to tow your car into Morriton St. James and then your +lordship could accompany the ladies to the Manor House." + +Jimmy looked at the derelict Pallas Athene. She was a long, low car, +and her body sloped back in lines rather like the rake of the masts of +a pirate schooner in a novel. Her delicate pale blue paint still shone, +though covered with the dust of the long journey. Her aluminium bonnet +glistened in the rays of the setting sun. Her great balloon tyres lay +like coiled monsters under her wide black wings. He looked at Hinton's +Ford, squat, dumpy, perched absurdly above her little wheels. He noted +the battered mud guards, the chipped paint, the tattered hood strapped +into an untidy bundle at the back. A pang of acute humiliation gripped +him hard. + +"Can you do it?" he asked with a sigh. + +"On low gear," said Hinton. "There is no doubt that we can do it on low +gear. Your lordship has not perhaps had much experience of Fords." + +"None," said Jimmy bitterly. + +"Then perhaps your lordship will excuse my saying that a Ford will do +anything in low gear." + +"If so," said Jimmy, with a burst of real magnanimity, "a Ford is a +damned sight better car than a Pallas Athene eight cylinder sports +model. It won't do anything on any gear." + +A really good servant, accustomed to the best houses, is never found +wanting, or unable to meet any demand made on him. Asked suddenly +in the middle of the afternoon for tripe and onions he displays no +astonishment; but in a short time brings tripe and onions into the +drawing-room, in a nice dish on a silver salver. Told, at luncheon, +that a complete outfit for water polo is required immediately +afterwards for a party of eight, he produces, without fuss or protest, +bathing suits, balloons and everything else required. James Hinton +had been a thoroughly good servant, one of the very best in England, a +country which produces the best servants in the world. + +From the locker under the back seat of his car he took a long and +reliable rope. It was as if he had fully expected to come upon a +derelict Pallas Athene when he left home in the afternoon. + +The two girls were packed into the back seat of the Ford with many +polite apologies. James Hinton took his seat, rigidly upright in front. +Jimmy, crushed with shame, crouched over the steering wheel of the +Pallas Athene. + +The drive began with a gallant effort of Hinton's to be better than +his word. He tried the Ford on her top gear. She clanged, snorted, +missed fire on one plug after another, made spasmodic jumps and finally +stopped, her engine stalled. James Hinton got out, worked hard at the +handle for a while and started again. This time he made no attempt to +get out of low gear. The progress was slow. On the slightest incline +it dropped to about four miles an hour. On a serious hill it became a +crawl. Steam rose from the Ford's radiator like smoke from the funnel +of a locomotive. The water inside could be heard boiling furiously. +Oily smoke rose occasionally between the floor boards at Hinton's feet. +The noise was terrific. The heat, even in the back part of the car +where the two girls sat, was great. For Hinton it was blasting. But +he stuck to his post and the car stuck to its work. She had emerged, +a giddy young thing from the works in Detroit eleven years before. +Time had sobered her, but had not broken that determination to get +somewhere, somehow, which is the characteristic of all Fords of all +ages. + +The eight miles to Morriton St. James were accomplished in something +a little over an hour. The procession stopped at the door of the +principal garage in the town and a crowd quickly gathered round. + +"That car," said Jimmy to the proprietor of the garage, "cost me twelve +hundred pounds this morning. I'll swap it for one like James Hinton's +if you happen to have such a thing in stock." + +The garage owner refused to make the exchange. He was an honest man +and would not take advantage of a stranger whose nervous system was +wrecked. Besides, it would have been very difficult to dispose of the +Pallas Athene sports model at any price in Morriton St. James, a town +inhabited by sober and cautious people. + + + + +Chapter X + + +James Hinton stood respectfully aside while Jimmy made his offer to the +proprietor of the garage. When he got his chance to speak, his voice, +like that of every good servant, was emotionless and soothing. + +"Excuse my asking you the question, my lord, but will the ladies be +spending the night at the Manor House?" + +"They didn't intend to," said Jimmy. "Nor did I. But we'll all have to +now, unless you feel inclined to run us up to town after dinner in your +Ford." + +Hinton smiled an entirely respectful appreciation of this pleasantry. + +"I merely asked the question, my lord," he said, "because I thought it +might be well to make arrangements for bringing up the luggage." + +It was perfectly apparent that there was no luggage to bring. The +Pallas Athene was not even fitted with a luggage grid and there were no +bags or suit cases in the car. But Hinton would have considered it a +breach of good manners to appear to think that two ladies, companions +of Lord Colavon and guests of Sir Evelyn Dent, could possibly be +travelling without luggage. + +"Great Scott!" said Jimmy, "I never thought of that. Of course they +haven't got a blessed thing for the night. Nor have I. It doesn't +matter about me. Uncle Evie can lend me a razor and a comb. But--I +say, Hinton, you know all about these things. Do you think Uncle Evie's +housemaid could lend the ladies what they want?" + +"I've no doubt that the female members of the Manor House staff," said +Hinton, "will be able to supply all that is absolutely necessary. But +that is a course which I would hardly recommend. The garments usually +worn by young persons of that class, my lord, are not what the ladies +are accustomed to." + +"Housemaids don't run to silk nighties, Hinton?" + +"I fear not, my lord." + +"Then what on earth had we better do? The shops in this place are sure +to be shut by this time." + +"If your lordship is willing to leave the matter in my hands---- As +it happens Mr. Linker, the principal ladies' outfitter in Morriton St. +James, is a friend of mine. I intended, if your lordship will pardon my +mentioning my own affairs--I intended paying him a visit this evening. +A little matter of business, my lord. Indeed that was the original +purpose of my visit to Morriton St. James. I feel quite certain that +Mr. Linker will be ready to let the ladies have what they require." + +"I suppose that you and Linker between you will know what they do +require." + +"I venture to hope so, my lord, and I may add, that although Mr. +Linker's establishment is not quite on a level with the best of the +London houses, he stocks some very high-class goods. I feel convinced +that if the matter is left in our hands the young ladies will have no +reason to complain." + +"All right," said Jimmy, "and if your friend Linker happens to have a +suit of pyjamas that will fit me, and a clean collar, and a brush and +comb----. But I expect it's too much to expect him to have brushes and +combs." + +"I think, my lord, that through Mr. Linker's influence in the town all +your lordship requires will be obtainable. May I ask"--Hinton took +out a slip of paper to make a note of the important answer to this +question, "which shaving soap your lordship prefers and which tooth +powder?" + +"Hinton," said Jimmy, "you're invaluable. Dolly regarded you as a +jewel, but he little knew what you could do. Spotting winners is +nothing to providing three complete trousseaux at an hour's notice in +a small country town. I don't believe there's another man in England +could do it." He took out his pocket-book. "Will a ten pound note cover +the damage? If so, keep the change. You deserve it and more." + +"Mr. Linker will no doubt furnish his account in due course, my lord," +said Hinton. + +He pocketed the note as he spoke. It is by such actions that men become +rich enough to buy country inns, refurnish them, and give fifty pound +guarantees to pageants. + +Jimmy took his seat beside Hinton in the front of the Ford. The car was +now able to run on high gear, but even so the noise of their progress +was considerable. Quite enough to render it safe for the passengers in +front to talk without any risk of being overheard by those behind. + +Jimmy took advantage of his opportunity. + +"I say, Hinton, you know Uncle Evie pretty well, don't you?" + +"I had the honour of valetting him more than once when I was first +footman in the service of your lordship's father, the late earl." + +"Then you must know all there is to know about his little +tempers and fads and so forth. Just tell me this, speaking quite +confidentially--how do you think he'll take it when I tell him that +I and the two ladies have come to stay? He's expecting us to dinner +but not for the night. Now what about it, Hinton? Will there be any +unpleasantness? To be quite candid, I expect we'll be there for the +best part of a week. It will take all that to get whatever spare parts +are wanted for the Pallas Athene." + +"I don't happen to know exactly how Sir Evelyn Dent is situated at the +moment, my lord, but if there is any difficulty with the domestic staff +I shall be only too pleased to offer my services." + +"That's kind of you, Hinton, but it's not exactly what I meant. I was +thinking more----" + +"Quite so, my lord," said Hinton, interrupting him, but very +respectfully. "You're thinking of the young ladies. So far as waiting +at table is concerned I am quite prepared to relieve the staff of any +extra work. But what your lordship has in mind is the maiding of the +young ladies. That, I fear, I am not competent to undertake. But I +happen to be aware that the head of the dressmaking department in Mr. +Linker's establishment was formerly ladies' maid in some quite good +houses. I have no doubt that in order to oblige she would be willing to +look after the young ladies during their stay." + +"Secure her, Hinton, if you think it will make matters any easier with +the Manor House staff. But it wasn't so much the servants that I was +thinking about. How will Uncle Evie himself take it? That's the real +question." + +"I've never known Sir Evelyn behave otherwise than as a perfect +gentleman, my lord." + +"That's all right as far as it goes, and it's nice to know that he +won't throw stones at them. But a gentleman, even a perfect gentleman, +can make things damned uncomfortable for other people when he chooses. +Now, will he? That's the point." + +"That, my lord," said Hinton, "will depend a good deal on the young +ladies themselves. I've always understood that Sir Evelyn, when a young +man, was very fond of the society of ladies, agreeable ladies, if you +understand me, my lord." + +Hinton's way of saying "agreeable ladies" left no doubt in Jimmy's mind +what kind of ladies he meant. He turned on him rather angrily. + +"Don't get it into your head, Hinton, that I'm travelling about the +country with women of that sort, or that I'd try to foist them on Uncle +Evie if I was." + +"I beg pardon, my lord," said Hinton in a tone of great humility. +"Nothing was further from my mind than to suggest anything of that +sort. When I said agreeable I meant nothing more than sprightly, if I +may use the word." + +He had meant a great deal more; but Jimmy accepted the denial. + +"Any breach of decorum would, I feel sure, be most objectionable to Sir +Evelyn Dent. But I'm quite sure that there's not the slightest reason +to anticipate such a thing." + +Jimmy was a quicktempered but easily-pacified young man. The idea +of Beth Appleby and Mary Lambert earning their board and lodging by +sprightliness tempered with decorum amused him. He turned round in his +seat and addressed the two girls. + +"Just listen to this," he said. "We've got to cadge on Uncle Evie for +beds to-night. Must sleep somewhere, you know, and there isn't anywhere +else. Hinton, who knows all about everything, says that if you two +behave properly Uncle Evie will be quite kind, so what you've got to be +is---- What was the word you used, Hinton? I know it was a good one." + +"Sprightly, my lord," said Hinton, "but I'm not sure whether it would +be advisable to repeat it to the young ladies." + +"What you've got to be," said Jimmy, turning to the girls again, "is +sprightly." + +"I'm there all the time in sprightliness," said Beth. "That's how I +earn my daily bread. If Lilith didn't lisp with unfailing sprightliness +I'd lose my job." + +"But at the same time," said Jimmy, "there mustn't be the slightest +breach of decorum. Hinton says Uncle Evie is a perfect dragon on +decorum." + +"That's where you'll have to be careful, Mary, my dear," said Beth. + +"Me!" said Mary. "I shall be a petrified icicle with sheer terror. But, +I say, Jimmy does that mean no cigarettes?" + +"What do you say about that, Hinton?" said Jimmy. "Is Uncle Evie down +on women smoking?" + +"Many ladies of good position smoke nowadays, my lord," said Hinton. "I +should imagine that Sir Evelyn Dent is quite accustomed to it!" + +"One cigarette after each meal, Mary," said Jimmy. "Certainly not more." + +The warnings turned out to be unnecessary. Sir Evelyn received the +girls with dignified, though slightly pompous, kindness. When he heard +of the failure of the Pallas Athene he at once offered to put up the +whole party for the night. + +"My head housemaid seems to be a very competent young woman," he said +to Beth; "if you'll be so good as to tell her what you want. This is a +bachelor household, I'm afraid, but the head housemaid is really very +resourceful. You may not be quite as comfortable as if you'd brought +your own luggage----" + +"Oh, that's all right," said Jimmy. "Hinton happens to know a man who +supplies outfits complete from the cradle to the coffin at ten minutes' +notice. A capital fellow. Baby clothes and shrouds are all the same to +him and of course anything in between." + +"How thrilling!" said Beth. "Do you mean to say that you were arranging +all that while we thought you were swapping your motor for a Ford? But +do you think Hinton will remember everything? I'd like a toothbrush, I +must say." + +"Hinton," said Jimmy, "is to be relied on absolutely." + +"Hinton?" said Sir Evelyn. "Is that the man who keeps an inn in a +village called Hailey Compton? If so, I know him, and I really think, +Miss Appleby, that you may rely on him. He has a knack of getting +exactly what he wants. I've seen a good deal of him during the last +fortnight. He keeps coming here about a pageant they're getting up. I +wonder what he's doing in Morriton St. James this evening. Surely he +can't be coming to see me again?" + +Sir Evelyn had in fact received seven or eight visits from Hinton, +who often brought Mrs. Eames with him and never came without a request +of some kind. Sir Evelyn, persuaded by Hinton and talked down by Mrs. +Eames, had already asked some of the most eminent people in the kingdom +to be patrons of the pageant. He had written several articles on +English smuggling with special allusions to the pageant--and persuaded +the editors of some of our leading daily papers to publish them. He +dreaded being asked to do anything more, and the news that Hinton was +in Morriton St. James made him uneasy. Jimmy reassured him. + +"He's not after you this time, Uncle Evie. He's come to see the local +underclothes man on a matter of business. He told me so himself. I +didn't ask what the business was, but I should say it had something to +do with backing horses. Dolly--that's Lord Dollman, you know--always +said that Hinton was A1 for spotting winners. If it wasn't that it was +making money some other way. Hinton's always there when it comes to +gathering in the cash." + +"He got five shillings out of me for a glass of beer the other day," +said Sir Evelyn. + +"That's nothing," said Jimmy. "He had a tenner from me over this +outfitting business." + +"Good gracious, Jimmy!" said Beth. "You don't mean to say you spent ten +pounds on nighties for me and Mary?" + +"I meant to," said Jimmy, "but I didn't. Hinton collared the money and +the other fellow's to send in a bill afterwards." + +Thus, thanks mainly to the sprightliness of Lord Colavon, pleasant +relations were established at once, and Sir Evelyn began to enjoy the +society of his guests. He became actually cordial during dinner when he +discovered that Beth was the author of Lilith's weekly Lispings. + +"I am entertaining angels unawares. I have to thank you, my dear young +lady, for the pleasure your delightful causerie has given me since I +first began to read it." + +In this Sir Evelyn was perfectly sincere. Beth, at the instigation +of Mrs. Eames, had written a number of very nice paragraphs about +him. Since his retirement from public life, after the fall of the +Government, his name had dropped out of the newspapers. He missed, +more than he would have cared to confess, the daily bundle of press +cuttings which used to come to him from an industrious agent in London. +Beth's flattering Lispings were "good news from a far country," which, +as Solomon says with all his usual wisdom, is like "cold water to a +thirsty soul." + +"And how is your aunt?" said Sir Evelyn. "But I dare say I can give +you the latest news of her. She lunched with me three days ago. We +were discussing the details of her very interesting scheme for a local +pageant. Her idea--it is entirely hers. I do no more than help her with +such crumbs of historical knowledge as I possess. Her idea--but I'm +sure you've heard about it." + +"Oh, rather," said Beth. "I've heard of nothing else for weeks. Almost +daily letters from Aunt Agatha. I'm working hard at the publicity side +of the affair. Mary has just agreed to be a patron as representative of +the dramatic world." + +"Miss Lambert's name," said Sir Evelyn with a courteous bow, "will go +far to secure success." + +"I'm in it too," said Jimmy. "Beth roped me in as a patron this +morning." + +"Jimmy represents the world of sport," said Beth. + +"I'm delighted to hear," said Sir Evelyn, "that Jimmy is going to do +something useful at last. Your good influence, no doubt, Miss Appleby." + +"Hang it all, Uncle Evie!" said Jimmy. "I'm not such a rotter as all +that. Look at the way I've been supporting home industry, knocking out +unemployment and all that sort of rot by buying cars like the Pallas +Athene. Very few fellows would do it." + +"You may perhaps be able to help us," said Sir Evelyn, "in the matter +of securing a suitable lugger. The luggers used in the contraband trade +during the latter part of the eighteenth century were of the type known +as _chasse-marée_, designed originally in France. But I fear that these +details will not interest you young ladies." + +"They thrill us," said Beth. "Don't they Mary?" + +"Of course," said Mary. + +She had been stifling yawns with difficulty for some time past and +feared that a talk about eighteenth century French boats was not likely +to keep her awake. She just managed to say her "of course" in tones of +conviction. + +Sir Evelyn suggested that the party should go to his study, where +he could exhibit pictures of _chasse-marées_, some of them actually +engaged in smuggling. He had also--Mary struggled desperately against +overwhelming sleepiness--books with diagrams, showing the lines on +which the boats were built. + +A couple of hours later, when Beth and Mary had gone to bed, Sir Evelyn +had a conversation with his nephew on a very different subject. + +The Earl of Colavon ought to marry. This, in the opinion of the family, +was a matter of duty, and the family had no hesitation about speaking +its mind. Sir Evelyn and four aunts all spoke their minds plainly and +often. Jimmy was becoming heartily sick of the subject. Sir Evelyn +talked about "the family," which for the good of society, of England, +even of mankind in general, ought not to be allowed to die out. That +was not how he put it, but it was exactly what he meant. The aunts went +further. After expressing opinions about the value of "the family" +very like those of Sir Evelyn, they used to produce suitable ladies, +no doubt with the kindly intention of saving their nephew the trouble +of looking out for a wife for himself. The ladies were not marshalled +in a bevy but thrust on Jimmy's attention one by one, a second taking +the place of the first when it became clear that the first was not +approved, a third succeeding the second and so on, until the supply +of suitable ladies was exhausted. This was not so long a business as +might have been expected. There are never at one time very many ladies +suitable for the position of Countess--at least, not very many suitable +in the opinion of the aunts of the Earl of Colavon. + +When there were no more suitable ladies the aunts fell back on a hope +that Jimmy would marry someone not entirely unsuitable. They could not +produce anyone of this kind because they only associated with people +whose daughters were suitable. But they continued to press this view +of his duty on their nephew. So did Sir Evelyn. He displayed a great +broad-mindedness, going so far as to say that he would be quite ready +to welcome even an actress as a niece--an actress of good character and +suitable age. The aunts would not, perhaps, have been quite so liberal. + +The arrival of Beth Appleby and Mary Lambert in Jimmy's company cheered +Sir Evelyn. The girls, if not precisely "suitable" in the full sense +of the word, had nice manners, pleasant tempers and good looks. They +were plainly on very intimate terms with Lord Colavon, addressing him +as Jimmy. Sir Evelyn felt hopeful; but he was puzzled and a little +annoyed by the fact that there were two girls and that he was unable to +discover that one was preferred to the other. + +For some time he skirted round the subject and Jimmy, who guessed what +was coming, skilfully slipped away from it. At last Sir Evelyn was +reduced to the crude bluntness of approach which all his political +training taught him to dislike. + +"I can't help wondering----" he said, "I'm sure, my dear boy, that +you'll excuse my speaking plainly. I have been wondering all the +evening whether you find yourself seriously attracted by either of the +charming young ladies who came here with you to-day?" + +Jimmy, cornered at last, replied with equal plainness: + +"I'm seriously attracted," he said, "by both of them." + +"I take it," said Sir Evelyn, "that the idea of marriage with one of +them has been present to your mind." + +"Never absent from it, Uncle Evie." + +"My dear boy, I'm delighted to hear it. Delighted. Now which is it?" + +"That," said Jimmy, "is precisely my difficulty. If there was only Mary +Lambert and Beth Appleby did not exist, it would be perfectly simple. +I'd do my best to marry her; though mind this, Uncle Evie, she might +not be willing to marry me. On the other hand, if there was no such +person as Mary Lambert I'd make a pretty hard push at marrying Beth +Appleby. I'd call myself a jolly lucky fellow to get her, or Mary. +That's the situation, and I think you'll agree with me that it's an +uncommonly difficult one. I don't see any way out, do you?" + +"That," said Sir Evelyn, "is an absurd, even an immoral, way to talk, +and I should be seriously angry with you if I thought you meant it. You +must be able to make up your mind which of the two you prefer." + +"But that's just it," said Jimmy. "I can't. My only hope is that some +other fellow will come along and marry one of them. That's what I'm +waiting for, and it's bound to happen sooner or later, I should think. +Then I'll be all there. If the other fellow marries Beth, I'll have a +try at Mary next day. If, on the other hand, he marries Mary----" + +"This incurable habit of flippancy," said Sir Evelyn irritably, +"appears to be growing on you." + +"My dear Uncle Evie, I'm as serious as a judge with a black cap on, and +if you like I'll prove that I mean what I say. Suppose you chip in and +marry one of them--she might have you if you asked her nicely--I'll +give you my word of honour to do my best to marry the other. I call +that a fair offer, and you can count on there being no ill feeling +afterwards, whichever you take. I shall be perfectly content with the +other, always supposing that she will marry me. If she won't, then my +part of the business is off. Now what about it?" + +Sir Evelyn held out his hand with a gesture of dignified sorrow. + +"I think perhaps I'd better say good night to you. There is nothing to +be gained by further discussion along these lines." + +"Sorry, Uncle Evie, I apologise, grovel, and all that. But hang it all, +you know, you ought to be fair. You're everlastingly ragging me about +not marrying, and I put up with it like a lamb. But the very minute +I so much as hint that you might do it yourself---- After all, you're +just as unmarried as I am and have been for double as long; which makes +it far worse. You must be able to see that." + +In this way Jimmy concealed from an inquisitive uncle the fact that for +some months he had been trying to persuade Beth Appleby to marry him +and that she had been steadily but quite good-humouredly refusing to do +so. + + + + +Chapter XI + + +Jimmy growled a sleepy "Come in" in reply to a tap at his bedroom +door. Having thus accomplished all that could be expected of him for +some time he relapsed into deep slumber again. There was nothing to +disturb him in the familiar performance of the servant who called him. +A tea tray was laid down noiselessly on the table beside his bed. +Curtains were drawn back as nearly noiselessly as curtains could be +drawn. There was the usual folding of shirts and socks, laying out of +shoes, arrangement of other clothes in due order, the depositing in +appropriate places of collar, tie and handkerchief. The same things +were done for Jimmy every morning of his life and had been done for +him in much the same way ever since he had left school. There was +nothing to disturb him and he was too sleepy to realise that he was in +a strange room. + +"Your lordship's bath," said the servant, "will be prepared. I shall +return and tell your lordship when it is ready. In about ten minutes if +that is convenient to your lordship." + +The voice was unfamiliar. Jimmy opened his eyes sufficiently to +recognise that the servant who was leaving the room was not his own +man. He saw at the same time that he was in an unfamiliar room. The +recollection of the adventures of the day before came to him and he +knew that he had slept in his uncle's house. He poured out his tea and +as he drank it composed a biting and insulting telegram to be sent, +regardless of expense, to the makers of the Pallas Athene sports model +car. He lit a cigarette to stimulate the workings of his brain. + +The servant came into the room again, as he promised, in ten minutes. +Jimmy recognised Hinton. + +"Hallo!" he said. "How do you come to be here?" + +"Your lordship will recollect that I ventured to suggest last night +that it might be convenient if I were to wait upon your lordship." + +"Of course. Yes. Now you mention it, I remember. You said you'd come +in to help Uncle Evie's butler in case the poor fellow felt overworked. +Uncommonly kind of you to do it, Hinton, and I'm sure we're all greatly +obliged to you. You were to have got tooth-brushes and things for the +two young ladies. I hope you did." + +"I left that matter in Mr. Linker's hands, my lord, with every +confidence that satisfaction would be given. Mr. Linker's establishment +is not actually first class. That could hardly be expected in Morriton +St. James, but I think everything required will be provided. The young +person of whom I spoke to you last night----" + +He went on to say at some length, that the head of the dressmaking +department in Mr. Linker's shop had consented to return, temporarily, +to her original trade, and was at that moment acting as lady's maid to +Beth and Mary. Jimmy suspected that neither of the girls was accustomed +to such ministrations, but had no doubt they would enjoy them. Mr. +Linker, it appeared, had been quite willing to give his dressmaker +a holiday; such was his respect for Sir Evelyn and his desire to +be obliging. Hinton said nothing about the feelings of Mr. Linker's +customers, the young ladies of Morriton St. James, several of whom were +waiting impatiently, even clamorously, for new dresses. + +"It's uncommonly civil of your friend Linker," said Jimmy. "You might +thank him from me, will you?" + +"I have reason to believe, my lord, that Mr. Linker proposes to call on +you himself this morning." + +"With the bill for the night dresses and things, I suppose?" + +Hinton was profoundly shocked by the suggestion. + +"Certainly not, my lord. Mr. Linker understands your lordship's +position in society too well to send in an account in anything less +than three months. I should certainly not have recommended Mr. Linker +to your lordship's notice if there had been the least risk of his +being guilty of such an act of indecorum. The fact is, my lord"--here +Hinton's tone became confidential--"Mr. Linker wishes to ask a favour, +and I may add that if your lordship sees your way to consider Mr. +Linker's proposal favourably, I shall regard it as a favour to myself." + +"What does he want, Hinton? If I can do anything in the way of +recommending him to Uncle Evie---- Contract for the supply of caps +and aprons for the housemaids here, or anything of that sort, I shall +be delighted. A man who can provide trousseaux complete with lady's +maid at ten minutes' notice after the shops are shut deserves any +recommendation I can give." + +"I gather, my lord, that Mr. Linker's request is not connected with the +ladies' outfitting business." + +"If he wants to buy what's left of the Pallas Athene," said Jimmy, "he +can have it cheap." + +Hinton allowed himself a respectful smile. + +"I gathered from what Mr. Linker said to me that he wishes to see your +lordship with reference to the coming pageant at Hailey Compton." + +"Oh, that's it, is it? Now how the devil does a shopkeeper in Morriton +St. James come to be mixed up in a pageant at Hailey Compton? What +business is it of his?" + +Hinton produced a long, plausible and quite unconvincing explanation +of Linker's interest in the pageant. He was, it appears, an active +politician, a supporter of the party to which Sir Evelyn belonged. He +took the chair at political meetings. He was president of a club by +means of which it was hoped that working men might be attached to the +party. He was very anxious to secure Sir Evelyn's return at the next +election. + +"I know that kind of fellow," said Jimmy. "Invaluable, of course, but +boring. I quite see that Uncle Evie has to put up with him. 'How to +be civil though yawning. A Tract for Parliamentary Candidates.' But +I'm not in that line myself and I don't see why I should be worried by +your friend Linker. And anyhow, what has all that got to do with the +pageant?" + +Hinton's explanation went on. Mr. Linker had conceived the idea that +the position of the party in the constituency would be improved if the +pageant, with which Sir Evelyn was intimately connected, were a real +success. + +"I don't see that in the least," said Jimmy. "As a matter of fact, +there are two or three other things about that pageant that I don't +quite see. But I'm always stupid till I have had my bath. Can't +understand how any fellow is expected to be at his brightest and best +till he's wallowed about in cold water a bit. Suppose you drop in here +while I'm dressing, Hinton, and we'll have a chat." + +"I shall be quite at your lordship's service at any time," said Hinton. + +Jimmy returned from his bath thoroughly awake and as fit as he ever +would be to deal with the puzzling problem of Linker's interest in the +pageant. He had indeed, while drying himself, hit on a new question +to which he wanted to find an answer. Why was Hinton himself so eager +about the pageant? Sir Evelyn had mentioned the guarantee fund and +Hinton's fifty pound promise. There must, Jimmy supposed, be some +reason for such generosity. He wanted to find out what it was. + +"Now, Hinton," he said, "just tell me all over again why your friend +Linker thinks that this pageant will win the election for Uncle Evie." + +Hinton was apparently not pleased with this inquiry. His reply was a +perfectly courteous and respectful rebuke of Lord Colavon's curiosity. + +"That, my lord, is a point on which I am unable to give you any +information. But Mr. Linker is very experienced in elections and +thoroughly understands the sort of appeal which impresses the voter. I +think perhaps we may safely leave the matter in his hands." + +Jimmy rubbed shaving soap on his face thoughtfully for a minute. Then +he asked Hinton another question. + +"I understand that you're in this pageant up to your neck, Hinton. Now +why?" + +Hinton glanced sharply at Lord Colavon's face reflected in the mirror. +It was covered with a foam of white soap and no face in that state +looks intelligent. Hinton decided that nothing more than an evasive +answer was necessary. + +"I am certainly interested, my lord." + +Jimmy laid down his shaving brush and took up his razor. After giving +his chin a scrape he turned to Hinton again. + +"As an historical archæologist," he said, "you are, of course, +interested in any effort to re-create the past." + +Hinton was a little puzzled. His safest plan seemed to be to say +nothing. + +"And the artistic side of the thing appeals to you strongly," said +Jimmy. + +Hinton, still puzzled, and becoming uneasy, bowed gravely. + +"Remarkable man you are, Hinton," said Jimmy. "And your friend Linker, +the shopkeeper, is a remarkable man, too. Suppose now you tell me all +about this pageant, just who else is in it besides you and Uncle Evie +and what's going on and how far you've got." + +Hinton was perfectly willing to tell a good deal, if not actually all +there was to tell, about the pageant. + +He gave a list of the patrons so far. He described Mrs. Eames at some +length. He described the vicar, who continued to live a secluded life, +chiefly in the church, taking no part in the village activities. He +described the rehearsals, held daily at high tide. Bales of goods and +small casks, lent by Hinton himself, were landed at every high tide +out of one of Bunce's boats. Songs, which Mrs. Eames called chanties, +were sung as the work went on. Sometimes the cargo, when landed, was +stored in the cave. Sometimes it was carried across the beach, with the +accompaniment of other chanties, and loaded on the back of the only +horse which Mrs. Eames had been able to borrow. Unfortunately, the +first enthusiasm of the village was dying away. The daily rehearsals +were felt to be tiresome. It required all the influence of Hinton +himself, Bunce and some of the older men, to keep the people at work. + +Costumes, designed by Sir Evelyn, were being made in Morriton St. James +under the supervision of Mr. Linker, who had undertaken that part of +the work. + +"Sees his way to making a bit, I suppose," said Jimmy acutely. "I +thought there must be money in it for him somewhere." + +"No doubt, my lord, there will be the usual profit on the sale of the +costumes." + +"But not much," said Jimmy, "hardly enough to make it worth his while +to plunge into the thing and go pursuing people like me and Uncle +Evie. And where do you come in, Hinton? I mean to say, apart from your +interest in English history and village art, what made you guarantee +fifty pounds?" + +James Hinton smiled but gave no answer to this question. He offered +instead a description of a picture of a smuggling lugger which hung +in the tap-room of the Anchor Inn, ready to be inspected by anyone +interested in the pageant. It had been painted by a young man, a nephew +of Mr. Linker's, who had won several prizes for art given by the County +Education Committee. The details of the hull and rigging had been +worked out under the direction of Sir Evelyn. The sea which surrounded +the lugger, the work of the young man himself, was highly spirited and +very blue. + +Jimmy listened to all this without comment. The picture of the lugger +did not interest him. He had finished shaving and was washing his +face. Hinton went on to explain at some length why he and Linker were +anxious to secure Lord Colavon's support for the pageant. They had got +a bishop, a couple of leading politicians, a judge and a doctor with a +title. They now wanted to reach another section of the public, sporting +people and theatrical people. They hoped that Lord Colavon, if he +supported the pageant, would interest his friends in it. + +"I see," said Jimmy, drying his face. "But what I want to know is, +what do I get out of it? Uncle Evie wins an election. Your friend +Linker scoops in a profit for costumes. You gratify your passion for +archæology. But where do I come in?" + +"I was in hopes," said Hinton, rather feebly, "that your lordship might +find it amusing. Mrs. Eames is a very remarkable lady. I feel convinced +that you will enjoy meeting Mrs. Eames." + +"Hardly good enough, Hinton. I'm sure Mrs. Eames is all you say. But +I have some respect for the Church, even if you haven't, and I never +flirt with parsons' wives." + +Having finished washing he began to dress. Hinton offered him all kinds +of unnecessary assistance and for a while nothing more was said. At +last, fully clothed, except for his coat and waistcoat, Jimmy sat down +and lit a cigarette. + +"Now, Hinton," he said, "you've told me a lot about this pageant, and +it's only fair that I should tell you something. Sit down and listen to +me for a minute. Smoke if you like." + +Hinton preferred to stand--or said he did--and refused the offer of a +cigarette. Jimmy began: + +"My idea of the day of your pageant is something like this. Crowds on +the shore. Village people dressed up as assistant smugglers waiting +for the arrival of the lugger. Everybody anxiously peering out to sea. +Distinguished visitors in the reserved seats scanning the horizon with +telescopes. Uncle Evie with a telescope. The bishop with binoculars. +Other eminent men with field glasses. Women asking stupid questions in +order to keep conversation going. Everybody jumping with excitement and +expectation till the lugger comes in sight. Then cheers. Loud cheers. +That's about the programme so far, isn't it, Hinton?" + +"That, my lord, is very much what we hope to accomplish." + +"Exactly. But before your lugger comes in sight she must have been +somewhere out of sight. That's only common sense. You follow me so +far." + +"Certainly, my lord, out of sight. Certainly." + +"Very well. Where was she before she came into sight? Tell me that?" + +"I'm not quite sure that I catch your lordship's meaning." + +"I'll try and make it plainer for you if you like. The lugger was out +of sight at one time. Very well. A little later she comes into sight. +I know there's a school of philosophers which says that a thing simply +doesn't exist unless somebody's looking at it. And of course if that's +true there's no use asking questions about where the lugger was before +the bishop and Uncle Evie saw it through their glasses. It just wasn't +anywhere. In fact there wasn't a lugger. But you and I don't believe +that, do we? We can't, you know, because we both intend to be on board +that lugger, and we'd hate to pass out of existence till Uncle Evie and +the bishop chose to see us. We may take it then, that the lugger was +somewhere before she came in sight. But where? That's what I want to +get at." + +"I don't think that point's been considered, my lord." + +"Well, it ought to be and I'm going to consider it now. The lugger +might have been at St. Malo, or Granville, or Cherbourg, or any port +along that bit of coast. Or she might have been in St. Helier, or +Peter's Port, or some little bay in one of the Channel Islands. And +if she was--mind I'm only saying if--I suppose you might make a nice +little sum over a few dozen cases of French brandy that didn't pay +duty. And your friend Linker could do with a consignment of French +silk, duty free. I could manage along with a case or two of champagne +and a few silk stockings for these young ladies. You see how the thing +works out, Hinton. Immense crowds on shore. All the most eminent and +respectable people looking on. Lugger comes in. Motor engine on board, +not a Pallas Athene sports model engine, but one something more on the +lines of your Ford. Flag flies at truck, skull and crossbones and all +that. Thrills. Cheers. Newspaper men writing like fury. Photographers +snapping their camera shutters. Publicity. Widest possible publicity. +Dummy cargo landed. Pack horses loaded. Bales carried into cave. Cheers +die down. Show over. Crowds disperse to eat and drink. Then you and I +and Linker land another little cargo." + +"That, my lord, would, I fear, be smuggling." + +"You might call it that." + +"The penalties for smuggling are very severe, my lord." + +"I'm disappointed in you, Hinton. I thought you were a sportsman. Lord +Dollman said you were a sportsman, and I believed him. But here you +are funking a little flutter, when it's odds on, positively odds on. I +should say nine to one on." + +"The custom house officers are very alert, my lord, very alert indeed, +and they're sure to be particularly suspicious of a pageant like this. +The very word smuggling, advertised as we hope to advertise it, is +enough to make them watch us." + +"That's just where you're wrong," said Jimmy. "It's our advertising +which will put them off. Nobody who wanted to smuggle would put a +paragraph to say so in every paper in England. Nobody who meant to +smuggle would invite Uncle Evie and the bishop and all the other +political and legal swells to be directors in the company. Don't you +see, Hinton, that's just the sort of thing that puts the intelligent +custom house officer off the scent, and the more intelligent he is the +certainer he's bound to be that there's nothing in it." + +The reasoning was perfectly sound and ought to have convinced Hinton. +Perhaps it did. Perhaps he had thought it all out himself before. But +there was another difficulty which seemed less easy to deal with. + +"You'll excuse me, my lord, but neither Mr. Linker nor I would care to +take part in a scheme for defrauding the Revenue." + +"Rot!" said Jimmy. "You really can't expect me to believe that, Hinton. +Nobody could take that line. Just think how the good old Revenue +defrauds us. It was only the other day I caught it at it. At least +another fellow to whom I gave over the job caught it for me. And the +thing had been going on for years. Income Tax. Hundreds of pounds that +I oughtn't to have paid. I expect it's been doing the same thing to you +and to Linker and Uncle Evie and everyone. So far as I can make out it +defrauds everyone it can, and when it's caught doesn't even apologise. +Now what's wrong about getting a bit of our own back? That's all we +intend to do." + +But Hinton remained obstinately unconvinced even by this argument. He +shook his head gravely and sadly, adding a few words about Mr. Linker's +integrity and his own high principles. + +Jimmy threw away the end of his cigarette. Then he slipped on his +waistcoat and coat. + +"Very well, Hinton," he said, "I'll have nothing whatever to do with +your measly pageant, and what's more I'll crab it in every way I +possibly can. I'll take care, so far as my friends are concerned, that +it's a complete washout. I know perfectly well that you and Linker, +and I expect half the fishermen in the village, are going to do exactly +what I've said. Why the devil else should you be going into the thing +at all, spending money and so on? If you won't let me chip in along +with the rest of you, I'll do you all the harm I can, and you can tell +your friend Linker what I say. If he calls here this morning I simply +won't see him. You can tell him that, too." + + + + +Chapter XII + + +Mr. Linker presented himself--the phrase is a most unpleasant one. +No self-respecting writer would use it if he could find any other to +express his meaning. He would prefer to say "Mr. Linker arrived" or +"Mr. Linker came." Or perhaps "Mr. Linker turned up," or "blew in." +Unfortunately "presented himself" is the only way of describing the +unctuous politeness, the self-satisfied smugness, the deprecating +humility and the formal correctness with which Mr. Linker, at the Manor +House door, asked for Lord Colavon. It is therefore necessary to use +the words. + +Mr. Linker presented himself, early, while Sir Evelyn and his guests +were still lingering over breakfast. He was shown into the library and +his presence announced by Hinton. + +"Mr. Linker," he said to Jimmy, "wishes to speak to your lordship when +convenient." + +"Tell the blighter," said Jimmy, "to call again this day fortnight and +say that I won't be here then." + +He looked Hinton straight in the face as he spoke. His meaning was +perfectly clear. He was fulfilling the threat that he had made an hour +before in his bedroom. + +Sir Evelyn, who was enjoying the society of the two girls, did not want +to be disturbed. But he was aware of Linker's political importance and +was most unwilling to offend him. + +"Perhaps," he said, "I'd better see him." + +"Don't do anything of the sort, Uncle Evie," said Jimmy. "I know that +kind of rotter and, if he once gets talking you'll not stop him under +an hour and a half. Just let Hinton take my message." + +Sir Evelyn hesitated. He knew that, once caught by Linker, his morning +would be gone, and he had been looking forward to taking Beth Appleby +and Mary Lambert round his rock garden. They were very agreeable and +well-mannered young women. Jimmy might have had his way and the message +might have been sent--though perhaps not delivered--by Hinton, if Beth +had not recognised the name of Linker. She had heard a good deal about +him from the dressmaker maid and knew that he was the man who had +supplied her and Mary with clothes. + +"Let me go and see him," she said. "I want to thank him for the lovely +things he sent, and so does Mary. We'll both go. If I could afford +it I'd order half a dozen nighties of the same pattern. I never had +anything so deliciously frivolous before." + +"Offer him a free advertisement in Lilith's Lispings," said Jimmy, "and +perhaps he'll give you a few." + +"I might do that," said Beth. "It would be a paragraph practically +ready-made for next week, and that's something, even if I don't get as +much as a pocket handkerchief out of him. And I ought to. 'Lilith lisps +that Mr. Linker, the well-known lingerie expert of Morriton St. James, +who is perhaps England's greatest artist in nightdresses, is about to +startle the world with an original design in--whisper, belovedest, if +there are any men in the room--cami-knickers. Anyone with a real regard +for undies--and which of us has not?--will at once write to----' I must +ask him his address when I see him. Come on, Mary, and let's try. An +ad. like that ought to be worth something." + +"Suppose we all go," said Sir Evelyn, still anxious to be polite to the +influential Linker. + +"I shan't stir a step," said Jimmy. "I hate that kind of oily beggar." + +Hinton held the door open for the two ladies and Sir Evelyn. When they +had left the room he turned to Jimmy. + +"Beg pardon, my lord," he said, "I took the opportunity of speaking a +few words to Mr. Linker before announcing him." + +"Oh, you did, did you? I hope you told him not to allow anyone to tempt +him into trying to defraud the revenue." + +Hinton smiled feebly. + +"I understood from Mr. Linker," he said, "that he was inclined to +consider your lordship's proposal sympathetically." + +"He'll have to do a great deal more than consider it. However, if he's +got that far I may as well see him." + +Linker was a disagreeable little man with a pallid face, almost +colourless shifty eyes and damp hands. He received Beth's thanks +with many bows, but did not seem much excited by her offer of an +advertisement in Lilith's Lispings. + +"Very much obliged to your ladyship, I'm sure," was all he said. + +He addressed Mary Lambert as "your ladyship" too, being perhaps under +the impression that any ladies who associated on good terms with an +earl must have titles of their own. He got away from the subject of his +own business as soon as Jimmy entered the room, and made his appeal on +behalf of the pageant. + +He said very much what Hinton had said in the morning, dwelling on the +political advantage to Sir Evelyn of being associated with a popular +and successful pageant--an advantage not at all obvious to anyone +else--and the value to the pageant of Lord Colavon's help, which was, +if possible, less obvious still. + +"I told Hinton to tell you," said Jimmy, "that I'm not going to touch +your pageant. I'm not going to have anything to do with it. I'm not +even going to see it." + +"Oh, Jimmy," said Mary, "it might be rather fun." + +"Aunt Agatha's pageant!" said Beth. "You must help if you can, though +I don't see what good you can do except being a patron, and you're that +already." + +"Now, I might be useful," said Mary--"really useful. I'm an actress, +Mr. Linker." + +"Indeed, your ladyship?" said Linker. + +He did not seem impressed by this announcement. He perhaps thought that +Mrs. Eames was capable of managing the acting part of it by herself. + +"I've always longed to produce a play," said Mary, "and a pageant would +be nearly as good." + +"I'm sorry your mind is so definitely made up," said Sir Evelyn to +Jimmy. "Mr. Linker seems to think---- The prospects of the Party in +Morriton St. James--my own position as prospective candidate----" + +"If it's going to help you, Uncle Evie--but I'm blest if I see how it +can." + +"Mr. Linker," said Sir Evelyn, "attaches great importance to the +success of the pageant. I think perhaps that you ought----" + +"I need scarcely say, my lord," said Linker, "that in the management +of the pageant we should be prepared to meet your lordship's wishes in +every way." + +"In every way?" + +Jimmy looked Linker straight in the face and then turned his eyes on +Hinton, who was standing near the door. + +"In _every_ way," said Linker, nervously but with the needed emphasis. + +"Certainly, my lord," said Hinton, "in every way." + +"Very well," said Jimmy. "As you all want me I'll do my best; but what +exactly is it that you expect me to do?" + +"Get me a job with a good advertisement attached to it," said Mary. + +"Help Aunt Agatha," said Beth. + +Linker explained his wishes at greater length. Lord Colavon might +undertake the purchase of the lugger and allow that fact to be +advertised. He might superintend the rigging under the direction of Sir +Evelyn. He might interest his friends in the pageant. + +"And steer the lugger when the great day comes," said Jimmy. + +"Certainly, if your lordship wishes." + +The assurance was definite enough and entirely satisfactory to Jimmy. +The conversation passed on to the subject of patrons of the pageant. +Linker pressed on Sir Evelyn, who had already done a great deal, the +necessity of securing as many influential names as possible. + +"Another bishop would be very desirable, sir," he said. + +"But why do you want so many bishops?" said Mary. "Aren't they very +liable to make objections? My Nautch Girl dance is perfectly all right, +but----" + +"Although a Nonconformist myself," said Linker, "I cannot but be aware +of the social position of the dignitaries of the Established Church. +They would certainly be of great value to the pageant." + +He mentioned in a reverential whisper the name of a popular +ecclesiastic, one of the few who are thoroughly well known to the +public outside church circles. + +"If a few actresses would be of any use," said Mary, "I might get them." + +"As skittish as possible," said Jimmy. "Some ladies of the gayer kind +will be wanted to balance all the bishops." + +"And if," Linker addressed Sir Evelyn again, "you could see your way to +inviting----" + +He named a very great statesman, a man with a European reputation for +the astute manipulation of international Congresses, Assemblies of the +League of Nations and such things. + +"Not necessarily to be present at the pageant," said Linker +apologetically. "That would be asking too much. But if we might make +use of his name." + +"Do get him, Sir Evelyn," said Beth. "He'd be worth pounds to me in +paragraphs. He and the bishops and Mary's actresses all together." + +Linker went on doggedly and shamelessly with his suggestions. There was +scarcely anyone of eminence whom he did not suggest, except members of +the Royal Family, and Sir Evelyn fully expected him to ask for a prince +or two soon. He seemed to be working up in that direction, and at last, +when he was plainly getting to the end of his list, he hesitated and +apologised over a final name. It would scarcely have surprised anyone +if he had mentioned the King himself. + +"And perhaps," he said, "we might secure the name of----" + +He looked round among his listeners as if uncertain to whom he ought to +appeal for the man he wanted. + +"The name of Mr. East," he said at last, "would be of the greatest +value to us." + +"Mr. East?" said Sir Evelyn vaguely. + +He had never heard of Mr. East. + +"Mr. E. P. East," said Linker, as if that explained the thing. + +"Who is he?" said Sir Evelyn. + +"Mr. E. P. East," said Linker, "is the Head Surveyor of Customs and +Excise in this district." + +Beth and Mary were totally uninterested in this suggestion. The name +of Mr. E. P. East would be useless for a paragraph and promised no +desirable publicity. Sir Evelyn was still as much puzzled as when +he first heard the name. He failed to see the value of Mr. East as a +patron. + +"Of course," he said, "if you really want him I might be able to secure +him." + +Jimmy, after looking hard at Linker's totally expressionless face, +turned away and whistled softly. + + + + +Chapter XIII + + +The interview with Linker dragged itself to an end at last and the man +bowed himself out of the room. Sir Evelyn took the two girls out to +his rock garden and enjoyed himself. He had long been cut off from the +society of cheerful and pretty young women who wanted to be agreeable +to him and were clever enough to show an interest, which no one under +fifty can really feel, in the names and nature of unattractive plants. +Sir Evelyn, though old enough to enjoy rock plants, was not too old +to enjoy pretty girls. A happy position and rare, for as a rule rock +plants only become interesting after pretty girls have ceased to +attract. + +Jimmy settled down for an hour's serious work in the butler's pantry +where the Manor House telephone was kept. He began with the proprietor +of the garage in Morriton St. James, went into all the symptoms of +the Pallas Athene's breakdown, found that a diagnosis had been made +and that a major operation would be required. There was little hope +of the car running again for a week. After that he tried a trunk call +to the office of the makers of the car. This was a difficult thing to +procure but he did it in the end and had the satisfaction of telling a +gentleman, described to him as "the boss" exactly what sort of car the +Pallas Athene was. "The boss" retaliated by describing in vivid terms +the kind of man who was fool enough to drive a perfectly new car, which +had never been run in, at the rate of sixty miles an hour for several +hundred miles. + +He had no direct evidence that the Pallas Athene had been driven in +this way, but he knew something of Jimmy's reputation as a motorist, +and he felt quite safe in making the accusation. + +It is creditable to Jimmy that he kept his temper during both +conversations. The garage proprietor kept his and the "boss" +only pretended to be angry as a means of self-defence against any +claim which might be made on him under the terms of his guarantee. +Considering how trying motor cars can be when they choose to behave +badly this general self-restraint goes far to show that we are really +becoming a civilised people, a thing which observers of our habit of +going on strike might be inclined to doubt. + +When Sir Evelyn and the two girls returned from the rock garden Jimmy +told them the news that there was no chance of getting away in the +Pallas Athene. He spoke indecisively about trains and still more +doubtfully about hiring another car. Sir Evelyn cut him short with a +hospitable invitation to the whole party to stay with him for a week or +a fortnight, until the Pallas Athene was repaired, or perhaps until the +Hailey Compton pageant was over. + +Beth murmured a polite refusal which it was quite clear she did not +really mean. Pressed by Sir Evelyn she confessed that gossip about +London society can be invented anywhere and that the Lispings of +Lilith could be just as well written in the Manor House at Morriton +St. James as in the flat in Battersea. She also said something about an +opportunity for visiting her aunt at Hailey Compton. Sir Evelyn cut her +short. + +"You will be doing me a favour," he said, "by staying on till the +pageant is over. I want someone to help me through with that affair." + +Mary Lambert was franker. She had no work to do in London. There was +a possibility of her getting a job, in connection with the pageant, +which, even if unpaid would bring her name before the public. She +was also, though she only hinted at this, much more comfortable in +the Manor House than she had ever been anywhere in her life before, +and--this consideration weighs a little with all of us--it is very +convenient to be housed and fed free, especially when earning no +salary. A few clothes--she and Beth said this simultaneously--could be +sent for from London. + +Jimmy had no hesitation about accepting the invitation. He, perhaps he +alone, took his uncle's polite assurance at its face value. + +"You do want someone to look after you, Uncle Evie," he said, "and +that's a fact. I'm not saying anything against Hinton or Linker, not a +word. Both excellent fellows, no doubt. But they give me the impression +of being pretty sharp men of business. When I think of that tenner of +mine which Hinton trousered yesterday afternoon, and of what Linker's +little bill will probably be I tremble to think of the extent to which +the two of them will probably stick you." + +Sir Evelyn smiled amiably at the suggestion that he needed a protector +and made a mild joke about his nephew's fitness for the part of tutor +to innocent old age. + +"Besides," Jimmy went on, "I'm getting quite keen on this pageant of +yours and rather see myself in the part of captain of the lugger." + +When it was settled that the whole party would remain at the Manor +House Jimmy suggested a drive over to Hailey Compton as a suitable +amusement for the day. Like most men over fifty Sir Evelyn dreaded +picnics and suggested that they should lunch comfortably at home +before starting. He was strongly opposed to Beth's suggestion that they +should ask Mrs. Eames for luncheon. But neither Beth nor Mary wanted +to spend the rest of the morning in the rock garden, and a compromise +was arranged. The party would take its own food, but eat it, along +with anything Mrs. Eames provided, in the vicarage. This, like most +compromises, combined the most objectionable features of both plans. +The food would be picnic food, cold, sandwichy and scrappy, which was +exactly what Sir Evelyn disliked. The company would be that of Mrs. +Eames, which he dreaded. + +An hour and a half later Sir Evelyn's little car, this time driven +in masterful fashion by Jimmy, reached the long stretch of bare, +undulating land above Hailey Compton. The road, a narrow white belt, +stretched straight until it seemed to end abruptly on the very edge of +the cliff. The car sped on faster than that car had ever gone before. +Jimmy eyed the road in front of him suspiciously. + +"Is there a way down," he said, "or do we stop here and take to +parachutes?" + +"It's very steep," said Sir Evelyn. "Do be careful." + +"Brakes all right?" said Jimmy without slowing down. + +"I hope so. I trust so," said his uncle. + +Jimmy, though daring, was not reckless. With rapid motion of hand +and foot he changed gear. The car sped forward with a shrill cry. +Jimmy changed gear again, and took the first of the sharp bends at a +little over twenty-five miles an hour. His passengers clung tightly +to the sides of the car. The brakes stuttered. The low gear cried more +shrilly. Another corner was safely passed. + +"Nasty place on a foggy night," said Jimmy, "if you happened to be +trying it for the first time." + +He went boldly on, for it was neither night nor foggy. The sun +glittered on a calm sea far below them. The steep, thatched roofs of +the fishermen's cottages were seen, as roofs seldom are except by those +who go about in aeroplanes. The little boat haven, in reality a slimy +pool, looked like a glowing gem. The vicarage, somewhat apart from +the village, was modestly picturesque like a shy girl in light summer +clothes. The church, its squat, grey tower bathed in sunlight, stood on +guard above the village, perched on the little plateau, the sea and the +cliffs below it, a tall, rugged cliff rising high behind and above it. + +"Isn't it perfectly lovely?" said Mary, who had never seen Hailey +Compton before. + +She had got over her first fear of the steepness of the descent. +Sir Evelyn, sitting beside her in the back of the car, was still too +nervous to join in admiration of the scenery. + +"I do wish he'd be more cautious," was all he could say. + +Jimmy, guided by Beth, swept along the village street, charged the +short hill to the vicarage gate and pulled up before the door. + +Mrs. Eames rushed out to welcome them. She kissed Beth vehemently, +grasped Sir Evelyn's hand and shook it with affectionate violence, was +introduced to Mary, and kissed her, was introduced to Jimmy and looked +for a moment as if she meant to kiss him. + +"You'll lunch with us, of course," she said. "I'm so sorry Timothy +isn't here, Sir Evelyn, and he won't be back for lunch I'm afraid, +unless I send for him. But I will send for him. Gladys shall go. He's +up in the church." + +"Still?" said Sir Evelyn. + +He was a little surprised. Mr. Eames had retired to the church three +weeks before. It seemed scarcely possible that he had been there ever +since. + +"Your poor dear uncle," said Mrs. Eames to Beth, "is more tiresome than +I've ever known him before. Not that I want to say a word against him. +He's a darling, but it is tiresome of him to spend all of every day +in the church. I never see him except at night, and do you know what +I found out yesterday? He's taken a spade and a pickaxe up there with +him. At least, if he hasn't taken them I don't know what's happened to +them. I can't find them. The man who does the garden wanted the spade +yesterday, and while he was looking for it he found that the pickaxe +was gone too. So annoying." + +"Couldn't be digging graves, could he?" said Jimmy not very helpfully. + +"Oh, no," said Mrs. Eames. "Poor Timothy never does anything as useful +as that. You wouldn't think it of him if you knew him, Lord Colavon, +and of course it may not be he who has taken the spade. I only said he +had because I can't think of anyone else who would take it. But what +would he want a pickaxe for inside the church? And he never comes out. +He just sits there all day, reading Greek, you know." + +Sir Evelyn, though he did not say so, was of opinion that the vicar +must have gone mad. St. Paul, who also seems to have read Greek books, +was suspected of having been driven insane through much learning. +Something of the sort might have happened to Mr. Eames; but Sir Evelyn +was more inclined to lay the blame on Mrs. Eames. He thought it likely +that he would be mad too if he had been married to her. + +"So you're really an actress," said Mrs. Eames, turning abruptly to +Mary. "You did say she was a real actress, didn't you, Beth? Isn't +that lucky? You must know all about pageants, if you're an actress, and +you'll be able to help us. I do want someone to help. You'll come and +stay with us till the pageant's over, won't you? You can have Beth's +room. Or if Beth comes too, you can share it. You'll come, won't you, +Beth?" + +"Miss Lambert and Miss Appleby," said Sir Evelyn, "have kindly +consented to stay with me till the play is over." + +"Quite right," said Mrs. Eames cheerfully. "They'll be far more +comfortable with you. I'd love to have them both. You know that, Beth. +But--well, you know what Gladys is like." + +"But of course I'll help," said Mary. "I'll come over every day." + +"How splendid. We'll have a rehearsal this afternoon. Gladys shall +run round the village and tell the people. She'll like doing that far +better than cooking lunch. I'm afraid there isn't very much for lunch. +You see, I haven't been having regular meals since poor dear Timothy +took to living in the church. But we might have pancakes. You like +pancakes, don't you, Sir Evelyn?" + +"We shouldn't dream of trespassing on your kindness, Mrs. Eames," said +Sir Evelyn. "We brought our own luncheon with us." + +"So if you'll just lend us knives and forks, Aunt Agatha," said Beth. + +Many women, slaves to conventionality, would have been vexed to think +that guests, arriving at luncheon time, had brought their own food with +them. Mrs. Eames was not even ruffled. + +"But you must have pancakes too," she said, "and scrambled eggs. I'm +rather good at scrambled eggs. And luckily the hens are all laying just +now. Generally they do nothing but go broody at this time of year. +It may have been excitement about the pageant which kept them from +sitting. Not that they understand what's happening, poor things, but +excitement gets into the air. So we can have pancakes and scrambled +eggs. I know you like scrambled eggs, Sir Evelyn." + +"Oh, greatly," said Sir Evelyn. "But I really wish you wouldn't take so +much trouble." + +"It won't be any trouble," said Mrs. Eames. "Gladys's aunt is nearly +sure to be in the kitchen, and if so she can make the pancakes. Gladys +can't or won't or both. I wish I could offer you an omelette. Beth, +dear, can you make omelettes?" + +"I can," said Mary Lambert. "At least I think I can. Do let me try." + +"I used to think I could," said Mrs. Eames, "and sometimes I can, but +not always. In fact generally my omelettes turn out to be scrambled +eggs. That's why I think it's better to say scrambled eggs at once. +Then if they do happen to be omelettes it's a pleasant surprise, +whereas if I said omelettes and then produced scrambled eggs Timothy +might be disappointed. Come along, Mary dear. You won't mind my calling +you Mary, will you. It's so stiff to go on saying Miss Lambert when +we're going to make an omelette together. You can get out the plates +and lay the table, Beth. You'll find a table cloth somewhere. I'm sure +Sir Evelyn would like a table cloth and I have several if only they're +clean. The fact is, I never have a table cloth when Timothy isn't here. +I know I ought to. So bad for Gladys when I don't." + +She took Mary by the arm and led her off to the kitchen. + +"I think," said Beth, "that I'd better go and look for the table cloth." + +"Wait one moment," said Jimmy, "till I get the luncheon basket out of +the car and then I'll be with you. I feel sure it'll take two of us to +find that table cloth." + +"Am I to be left alone?" said Sir Evelyn. "I don't like it. If Mrs. +Eames comes back and finds me unprotected---- Perhaps the best thing +for me to do would be to join the vicar in the church. Do you suppose +he took the pickaxe as a weapon of defence? I feel as if I should like +something of the sort." + +"Your aunt," said Jimmy, a few minutes later, "is perfectly priceless." + +They were searching in the dining-room for the table cloth and so far +had not come on a trace of it. + +"There's a lot of go about her," said Beth. + +"Go! I should think there was. I only wish there was half as much in +the Pallas Athene. I wonder now, if I asked her very nicely, would she +come over to Morriton St. James some day and take a look at that car. +If anyone could get a move on the wretched thing it would be your aunt. +She'd make anything in the world hop up and run about." + + + + +Chapter XIV + + +The rehearsal in the afternoon was a success, though tiring to all who +took part in it. + +Gladys, useless as housemaid or cook, showed that there was something +she could do really well when she was turned into a messenger. Released +quite unexpectedly from duties she detested, she sped joyfully round +the village, summoning performers to the mouth of the cave at three +o'clock. Her excited account of the ladies and gentlemen who had come +from London to organise the pageant, roused fresh interest in an affair +which the people were beginning to find a little tiresome. + +Gladys did more than summon the performers. She summoned everyone +else too, insisting that the whole village should turn out. She even +gave, in the name of the vicar, a totally unauthorised order to the +schoolmaster that the children should be released an hour before the +proper time. The schoolmaster knew quite well that the vicar had sent +no such message; and would have acted without authority if he had; +but he wanted to see the rehearsal himself, so he pretended to believe +Gladys. In this he showed not only self-indulgence but wisdom. It was +doubtful whether he could have kept the children in school if he had +wanted to. + +Mrs. Eames's arrangements had been carefully made, and the great scene +thoroughly thought out. Old Bunce's boat, representing the lugger, lay +a hundred yards off the mouth of the cave. At the oars sat eight of the +steadiest and most reliable men in the village, chosen to be the crew +of the lugger on the day of the performance. With these men there was +no trouble at all. They took the business seriously and were ready to +do exactly as Mrs. Eames bade them. They sat, over their outstretched +oars, ready to pull to the shore the moment the signal was given. + +Tommy Whittle and his mentally deficient brother were the signallers. +At the actual performance they were to light a flare on top of the +church tower. At rehearsal they merely waved a flag from the churchyard +wall. The lighting of flares in broad daylight would have been +foolishly wasteful, and they could not get into the tower, even for +purposes of rehearsal, because the vicar kept all the church doors +locked. Their part was clear, and Tommy thoroughly understood it. His +brother, in spite of his feebleness of mind, was quite capable of doing +what he was told. Indeed he was more likely to obey orders literally +and swiftly than a man who could think for himself; which shows that it +is a mistake to develop the intelligence of soldiers, trade unionists, +the rank and file of political parties, and others who depend on +discipline for their efficiency. + +On the green beside the boat haven, where the nets were dried and +the geese paraded, it was arranged that eight pack horses should +stand ready to be loaded with smuggled goods. Each horse was to be in +charge of two girls. This was perhaps not strictly in accordance with +historical precedent, but Mrs. Eames felt that some female parts were +required and the holding of the heads of pack horses seemed the most +suitable thing for girls to do. Only one horse could be secured for the +rehearsals, so the sixteen girls took it in turn to hold the creature. + +On the occasion of the great rehearsal summoned by Gladys the whole +sixteen girls turned out and argued fiercely, each pair alleging that +it was their turn to hold the horse. Mrs. Eames's first duty, when +she came down with her party from the vicarage, was to settle this +dispute, a very difficult thing, for the mothers of the girls were +all there eager to support their daughters' cause. This made a total +of twenty-eight women (four mothers had two daughters each), who +all talked at once and loudly. Perhaps only Mrs. Eames among living +Englishwomen could have talked down so many competitors. The horse +itself, an elderly wise beast, strolled about the green, nibbling at +the grass. It would have been there when wanted even if no girl had +held its head. Village maidens, when intent on claiming their rights, +are voluble. Their mothers, having had more practice, talk even more +and faster. All, mothers and daughters, talked at once. Sir Evelyn, +who walked with Mrs. Eames at the head of the party from the vicarage, +looked hopelessly at the turmoil. Jimmy and the two girls stopped at +the edge of the green, waiting to see how Mrs. Eames would deal with +the situation. Her plan was simple. She talked faster, louder and with +shorter pauses for breath than anyone else. One by one the girls were +battered into silence by a hailstorm of words. One by one their mothers +gave up the unequal contest. Then Mrs. Eames selected two girls to hold +the horse, and, by way of compensation for disappointment, promised +that a little later Mary Lambert would teach them all the proper way to +do it, the way proper to the occasion, the way horses are held on the +stage. + +"Miss Lambert," said Mrs. Eames, "is a real actress, and she knows all +about pageants and exactly how things ought to be done. As soon as the +rehearsal is over you shall all come back here and she'll show you." + +Mary Lambert had never held a horse in her life on or off the stage. +She said so to Mrs. Eames in an appealing whisper. + +"Or if she doesn't teach you that," said Mrs. Eames, "she'll teach you +something else quite as nice. But you must keep quiet now and let me +get on with the rehearsal. What will you teach them, Mary?" + +"I'll teach them to dance," she said. "I'll teach them my Nautch Girl +dance. It's tremendously fetching and they'll be able to learn their +part quite easily. You'll be able to fit it in somewhere, won't you, +Mrs. Eames?" + +Sir Evelyn protested feebly against a Nautch Girl dance in a pageant +of eighteenth century English life; but he was not allowed to say very +much. Mrs. Eames welcomed the proposal and explained just where and +when the dance could take place. + +That settled the trouble on the green; but worse trouble waited at the +mouth of the cave. + +All children have an instinct which enables them to know with certainty +when they will be most troublesome to their elders, and a desire, +which they make no effort to suppress, to collect together in just +that place. The Hailey Compton school children, who might have found +amusement in helping their elder sisters to hold the horse or in +watching the Whittles waving the signal flag, preferred to gather at +the mouth of the cave. Having unexpectedly escaped from school they +were full of vitality and spirits. The whole sixty of them ran rapidly +to and fro in different directions, leaped from rock to rock with +shouts of joy, and often fell, the tumbles being followed by cries of +pain. + +Besides the children there were some thirty or forty village people +who had no part in the pageant gathered at the mouth of the cave. Their +number was increased by the arrival of the fourteen girls who had been +told not to hold the horse, and the whole twelve mothers. Mrs. Eames +had to deal with them as well as with the children. + +Her difficulties were increased by young Jim Bunce, son of the +man chosen to be captain of the lugger. He had been given the part +of leader of the men on shore who landed the cargo. He had lost a +complicated arrangement of ropes and pulleys which he called a tackle. +This was a valuable, according to his account an indispensable, stage +property. Nothing, so he said, could be done unless the tackle was +found. + +"How are us to unload the boat without we have a tackle?" he asked, and +kept on asking in a steady, emotionless monotone. + +He regarded Mrs. Eames as responsible for the tackle, blamed her for +the loss and seemed to take it for granted that she either knew where +the thing was or possessed some means of finding it out. He did not +actually say so, but his tone implied that if the rehearsal and the +final performance broke down, as they would unless the tackle was +found, Mrs. Eames would have no one to blame except herself. He had +a statement which he made repeatedly and very slowly about the loss. +After the last rehearsal he had left the tackle coiled up and in good +order on top of a rock far above high-water mark just inside the cave. +From that rock it had disappeared. This must have been true, for he +repeated it at least twenty times without the smallest variation of +detail. + +While Mrs. Eames appealed to the unwanted people to go away, Jimmy +Bunce appealed to her to find his tackle. While she pursued flying +children he followed her. When she caught a child he caught her and +repeated his statement. When she paused breathless after vain pursuit +of a swift child, Jimmy Bunce was at her side. Sometimes he attributed +the loss of the tackle to evilly disposed people inspired by the +devil who had entered into them. Sometimes he seemed to think that the +devil had acted personally in the matter, without using human agency. +But--whether man or devil were the culprit--he held that Mrs. Eames was +responsible. + +She ought to have managed somehow to bring to naught the evil that the +craft and subtlety of the devil or man had worked against Jimmy Bunce. +If she had not done or could not do that, then the vicar, so Jimmy +hinted, ought to give up saying the Litany. + +Gladys managed to add a little to Mrs. Eames's difficulties. She had +been given a responsible and important job to do. The signallers, +Whittle and his brothers, could not see how the preparations for +landing were getting on, because the churchyard wall, where they were +stationed, was just above the mouth of the cave. Someone had to run +off to the end of the beach and tell them when all was ready for the +signal to be given. Gladys undertook to do this and promised to stand +waving her arms in full view of the Whittles when the time came for the +arrival of the boat. She was eager and excited, so eager and excited +that she ran after Mrs. Eames wherever she went, asking whether her +time of action had yet come. + +Mary Lambert viewed the scene with professional calm. She was +accustomed to a certain amount of confusion at early rehearsals +and felt confident that things would settle down at the end. In the +meantime she caught Mrs. Eames whenever she could and asked intelligent +and important questions. "Where," for instance, "would the spectators +be on the day of the performance?" "Where would the orchestra be +placed?" "What kind of platform would be provided for the Nautch Girl +dance?" + +Mrs. Eames, one of those fortunate people who enjoy fuss, replied +to her as she replied to Jimmy Bunce and Gladys, without a sign of +irritation, though sometimes a little hurriedly. + +Sir Evelyn was gloomy. It did not seem to him possible that order +would ever be achieved or the rehearsal be done. He asked himself, +not for the first time, whether he had not been a fool to mix +himself up with any undertaking managed by a woman like Mrs. Eames. +Foreseeing reproaches afterwards, he bitterly regretted having asked +his friends to be patrons of the pageant. He sat on a rock with his +back to the turmoil and gazed out to sea. There, a hundred yards or +so from the shore, lay Bunce's laden boat. The crew sat bent over +their outstretched oars, calm and indifferent to the passing of time. +Now and then when the rising tide carried their boat eastward, they +dipped their oars, and with quiet, effortless motion regained their +position off the mouth of the cave. Sir Evelyn, smoking cigarette after +cigarette, marvelled at a patience which he could not hope to imitate. + +Young Bunce left Mrs. Eames for a while and fastened on Sir Evelyn. He +was not an Ancient Mariner, and his eye was more fishy than glittering, +but he held his auditor as firmly as Coleridge's hero held his. The +tale of the lost tackle was not so long as that of the lost ship, +but Sir Evelyn had to listen to it three times and always with the +feeling--successfully conveyed also to Mrs. Eames--that he was to +blame for the disaster. Sir Evelyn tried the plan constantly adopted +by worried men. An Anglo-Saxon king gave Dane Gelt to the invaders +of the land. Modern statesmen give increasing doles to the insurgent +proletariat. Sir Evelyn gave young Bunce ten shillings with which to +buy another tackle. Bunce accepted the money, explaining as he did so +that tackles are made and not bought and that it would take at least a +week to achieve a new one. But the ten shillings was not wasted. Unlike +the ancient Dane Gelt and the modern dole, it achieved its object. +Jimmy Bunce went away. He feared that if he stayed he might be forced +to give the money back. Although tackles cannot be bought other things +can, and young Bunce wanted to keep the money if he could. + +"Beth," said Jimmy, "I'm almost fed up with this." + +They had been watching Mrs. Eames's efforts to get her company together +and to clear the stage of superfluous people. They had even tried to +help her. When it became clear that they were doing more harm than good +they stood on a rock above the tumult and watched again. It was after +ten minutes of this second watching that Jimmy became bored. + +"Let's toddle off somewhere," he said. + +"Where?" said Beth. "Back to the vicarage?" + +"I suppose," said Jimmy, "that there's no chance of raising a couple of +cocktails anywhere?" + +"There's James Hinton's pub. But----" + +"No go. Hinton would manage it if he was there. Not a fellow in +England is better at dry Martinis than Hinton. But he's not there. He's +probably buying a dress shirt for me and a ready-made dinner jacket +from his friend Linker, so we may regard the cocktails as off." + +"Would you care to look at the church?" + +"No. Why should I?" + +"People generally do in strange places," said Beth. "It's one of the +things that's always done." + +"Can't think why. I hate churches myself." + +"So do I." said Beth; "but there's nothing else to see in Hailey +Compton except---- What about exploring the cave?" + +"Is there anything to explore?" + +"It's supposed to go miles and miles inland," said Beth, "and nobody's +ever been to the end of it. They say it's haunted." + +"Ghosts of dead smugglers! Let's go and find one." + +"There won't be any if I go," said Beth. "Nothing spooky ever comes off +when I'm there. I've tried lots of times. Spiritualist séances and so +on. The beastly things work all right, so I'm told, till I come, but +then they simply dry up." + +"I'm not particularly spooky myself," said Jimmy, "but we might try. +Hunting the elusive ghost would be better than standing here, even if +we don't run one to earth." + +They climbed down from their rock and pushed their way among the groups +of pageant actors, unwanted spectators, and children who were beginning +to tire of running about. They scrambled over a ridge of sharp rocks +and dropped on to a broad track covered, like the beach outside, with +round white stones. The sound of the voices behind them grew fainter. +Even Mrs. Eames's voice died away. Their steps upon the rolling stones +made a hollow, growling sound which reverberated from the walls and +roof of the cave, multiplied and increased in volume. + +The light grew feebler as they went on. They felt, rather than saw, +that they were ascending steeply. But the roof of the cave was still +remotely high, only dimly discernible in the gloom, and the walls were +still far apart. There were no signs of coming to the end. + +Beth turned and looked round. The sea and sky were like a picture in +a frame, very distant, incredibly bright. Bunce's boat, the crew still +crouched over their oars, was plainly to be seen. The moving figures at +the entrance to the cave were silhouetted black outlines against the +background of sea and sky. Beth, in a voice which sounded strangely +deep, called Jimmy to look. + +After that they saw the world outside no more. The cave bent to the +right. The light got feebler, so dim that now and then Jimmy had to +strike matches in order to be able to see what was before them. It was +plain at last that the walls were closing in, that the way was narrowed +and the roof lower than it had been. + +"Getting near the end," said Jimmy. "If we're to come on a ghost of any +sort it must be now or never." + + + + +Chapter XV + + +"Listen," said Beth suddenly. + +She spoke in a gasp, the toneless whisper of someone who is frightened. + +From far above them came sounds, sometimes of light tapping, sometimes +as if a man were scraping at the roof of the cave. Jimmy struck another +match, one of the last left in his box, and held it out in front +of him. They had reached the end of the cave. The roof above them +descended sharply and met a wall of solid rock through which there +was no possibility of passing. But in the roof there was a hole. The +match held aloft revealed it, very black, wide as the chimneys of the +fireplaces to be found in old houses. It was from the hole that the +sounds of tapping and scraping came. + +Suddenly from very far up came a new sound, a distant rattling. +It increased and drew nearer. A large stone, striking the sides of +the chimney sharply as it descended, crashed at their feet and was +shattered into atoms. + +Such a thing was alarming enough without any suggestion of the +supernatural about it. The force with which the stone struck the ground +showed that it had fallen from a considerable height. Jimmy seized +Beth by the arm and pulled her to one side of the cave, out of reach of +other stones which might come crashing down. + +"Oh," gasped Beth, "what is it?" + +"Sounds rather like a smuggler's ghost pelting us," said Jimmy. "A +damned dangerous thing to do in a place like this without shouting +'Heads' or 'Fore' or any kind of warning." + +"Jimmy," said Beth, "I'm terrified." + +She was experiencing for the first time in her life a kind of fear +which she had often laughed at. It is easy enough to be cheerfully +sceptical about ghosts in broad daylight and among familiar things, or +to boast of immunity from spookiness when nothing unusual is happening. +It is quite another matter when stones take to falling out of a black +unknown into a narrow, gloomy place, where every movement and every +word make hollow sounds, horribly suggestive of infernal things, when +the terrifying crash echoes from rocks on the right, on the left and +above, when there is no way of accounting for such happenings. Then +cheery scepticism is likely to be chased away by awe. Beth was a prey +to the kind of fear in which investigators of the occult find a painful +delight, an excruciating ecstasy, which, in apologising to the rest of +us, the experimenters call scientific curiosity. + +She clung tight to Jimmy's arm with both hands. + +For a minute or two they stood waiting and listening. No more stones +dropped down the chimney. The noise of tapping and scratching which +they had heard ceased. There was complete silence, as dull and heavy +as the atmosphere of the cave. It was Jimmy who broke it. He had been +puzzled by the noise above him and startled by the falling stone, but +he had not felt the fear of the supernatural which had swept over Beth. +When he spoke it was in a tone very reassuring to the girl who clung to +him. + +"Futile sort of old ghost," he said. "I don't call one stone much of a +demonstration, do you?" + +"But," said Beth, who was recovering her self-possession, "it wasn't +really a ghost. I mean to say, it couldn't have been. But what was it? +Who dropped the stone?" + +"If you ask me, I'm inclined to think----" + +There he stopped abruptly. The noises of tapping and scraping had begun +again. Tap, tap, tap, far up above their heads, and then a crunching +sound. It was as if someone at a considerable distance was striking +with a pickaxe and shovelling up loose earth. Jimmy listened intently. + +"If you ask me," he repeated, "I'm inclined to think that somebody is +trying to knock a hole in the roof of this cave. What's above us here, +Beth?" + +"I don't know," said Beth. "The cliff, I suppose." + +"Well, then, there's somebody on the top of the cliff digging a hole. +Can't imagine what he wants to do such a thing for!" + +He struck a match and looked up. The hole, a large space of inky +blackness, was some six feet from the ground. It was wide and the rocks +at its side were jagged. + +"If I could get a grip on that craggy bit that is sticking out," said +Jimmy, "I could pull myself up into the hole. It's probably easy enough +climbing after that. Just stand clear for a minute while I jump. I'll +have a try at it." + +But Beth was not inclined to let him try. Instead of standing clear she +clung to him more tightly than before. + +"Don't do it, Jimmy," she said. + +"Still nervous about the smuggler's ghost?" + +"I'm not thinking about ghosts. Suppose another stone came down when +you were halfway up that chimney?" + +That was a real peril and Jimmy was obliged to consider it. Jammed +tight in what might very well prove to be a narrow passage he would +be quite defenceless against a falling stone. As if to emphasise +the reality of the risk, there came rumbling and clattering down +the chimney a shower of pebbles and loose earth. Beth was startled +again--so startled, that she loosed her grasp round Jimmy's elbow and +flung her arms round his neck. + +"Jimmy, dearest," she said, "you'll be killed if you go." + +It is very likely that he would have been killed, for a small avalanche +of stones, pebbles and earth came rushing down. The loose debris +clattered and crashed on the floor of the cave, some of the stones +rolling up to Beth's feet. Jimmy pulled her back still further from the +hole. + +"Don't go, Jimmy," she said. + +"All right. I won't. It's not good enough. But I say, Beth----" + +Relieved of her fear for him and far enough from the hole to feel safe +herself, Beth realised that she was clinging very close to Jimmy. The +position, though very pleasant for him, was embarrassing for her. She +drew away quickly. + +"I say, Beth," said Jimmy, "don't do that. What I mean to say is, go on +doing that. Don't you think you ought to?" + +"I'm quite sure I ought not. I can't think how I came to do it." + +"If I say I'm going up the hole, you might do it again. Would you?" + +"Certainly not." + +"But when we're married," said Jimmy, "you'll more or less have to. I +mean to say, it's the regular thing then. So I've always understood. +And as we're engaged to be married now----" + +"We're not." + +"Well, as good as engaged." + +"We're not as good as engaged. I've told you that a dozen times at +least, Jimmy. The most that I ever said was that we might be some time +or other." + +"Can't see why not now," said Jimmy. "Here we are facing unknown +dangers together, practically in the dark, and I've only one match +left, pelted with stones by the ghosts of desperate smugglers, lost +in the depths of a cavern measureless to man. If you won't agree to +marry me now, Beth, I don't see how you ever will. It's a priceless +opportunity. In all the novels I've ever read the heroine's maidenly +resistance invariably collapses in the hour of peril--far less peril +than ours, generally only a lion or a painted savage, absolutely +nothing to a vengeful ghost." + +"Jimmy, dear, don't be silly. I'm still a little frightened. Let's get +out of this." + +"If you're unmoved by the romance of the situation, though I don't see +how anyone can be---- I say, just listen to that." The remote digger +was apparently working harder than ever. The blows of iron on stone +sounded clear and frequent. "How can you refuse to fall into the arms +of your lover when a ghost is digging his own grave a few feet above +your head?" + +"Do talk sense, Jimmy, and take me out of this." + +"I will. I'll do both. Talk sense first and then take you away. Uncle +Evie was at me last night about you." + +"About me?" + +"Asking me why the deuce I didn't marry you." + +"Is that what you call talking sense? Sir Evelyn couldn't have said +that?" + +"He did. He put it to me at the point of the bayonet. I can't remember +his exact words, but what they amounted to was this: If I didn't marry +you, he would. Now what do you say to that?" + +"I say that you've got an extraordinarily inventive mind. Also that you +oughtn't to tell lies about your uncle." + +"It's not a lie," said Jimmy, "though I admit it's not the whole truth. +The suggestion was that I should marry either you or Mary and that he'd +marry the other, or rather that he'd marry one of you and I'd marry +the other. I give you my solemn word of honour that that's what passed +between us last night after you'd gone to bed." + +"You give me your solemn word of honour that Sir Evelyn suggested----" + +"As a matter of actual fact," said Jimmy, "the suggestion came from me. +But Uncle Evie quite fell in with it. Quite. He hadn't a word to say +against it." + +"Very well," said Beth, "I'll marry your Uncle Evie as soon as he asks +me, and then you can marry Mary if she'll have you, which she probably +won't. So now that's settled." + +"Very well. I'll give you a wedding present and all that. But now what +about marrying me after Uncle Evie dies? I don't want him to die, for +he's always been very decent to me. Still, nobody lives for ever, and +he's well over sixty. What do you say to that?" + +"If I'm ever left a widow and you're a widower about the same +time--don't forget you promised to marry Mary--I'll marry you. Will +that satisfy you?" + +"It doesn't in the least. But I suppose it's as much as I'll get out of +you to-day." + +"You won't get even that unless you take me out of this beastly cave +where I'm smothering for want of air and terrified out of my senses." + +They stumbled back together to the bend in the cave from which it was +possible to see the sunlight. Beth drew a deep breath of relief and +hurried forward, as fast as it was possible to hurry over a track of +round, rolling stones. + +"Don't rush so, Beth," said Jimmy. "I'm out of breath, and there's +something I want to say to you." + +"If it's anything more about my marrying your uncle," said Beth, "I +won't listen to it." + +"It's not. It's something more about your marrying me." + +They had reached the mouth of the cave. The rehearsal, well started at +last, was going on in a serious and orderly way. Old Bunce's boat had +reached the pool and was made fast to the rocks. Her cargo was being +landed. Mrs. Eames shouted orders from the top of the rock off which +she had dived on the day when Sir Evelyn first met her. The superfluous +people and all the children were herded together under the charge of +Mary Lambert, who prevented their interfering with the performance. Sir +Evelyn, perched somewhat perilously beside Mrs. Eames, was looking on +with satisfaction. Everybody was too busy and too deeply interested to +take any notice of Beth and Jimmy when they came from the depths of the +cave. + +"Beth," said Jimmy, "I'm quite serious this time." + +"So am I," said Beth. "I like you, Jimmy. I've always liked you; but +I'm not going to marry a man who---- But I've told you all that a dozen +times." + +"You have," said Jimmy, "and I quite see your point. I'm a rotter, +a footering butterfly, perching on the flowers of life instead of +gathering honey like a good, laborious bee. I don't go in for work and +all that sort of piffle. That's it, isn't it, Beth? That's what you +say." + +"Look at Aunt Agatha," said Beth, "married to a man who doesn't do +anything, who just sits and moons and dreams." + +"Hang it all, Beth, you can't think I'd spend my life shut up in a +church if you married me. I'm not that sort at all." + +"You'd spend your life playing about with motor-cars and things," +she said. "And, Jimmy, dear, can't you see that I couldn't bear to be +married to a man who didn't do anything?" + +"I quite grasp that," said Jimmy. + +"Then why go on worrying me? For it does worry me." + +"I'm not going to worry you, Beth. What I want to do is to propose----" + +"I won't be proposed to again to-day." + +"I'm not going to propose in that sense of the word," said Jimmy. "I'm +going to make a proposition. Suppose I go off now and unearth that +smuggler's ghost, find out what he's at and why. Would you count that +doing something? Something useful? Hang it all, Beth, I think you ought +to. The old knights and fellows of that sort who went about killing +dragons and giants were looked upon as most valuable members of society +and the most conscientious girls were delighted to marry them. If I +get rid of a ghost---- You may say what you like, Beth, but a ghost in +a small village is a regular pest, much worse than most dragons. If +I collar the malignant spirit of that smuggler and stop him throwing +stones it'll be something done, won't it? A jolly sight more useful +thing really than being chairman of a committee for infant welfare, +which is the sort of thing you think I ought to do. If I smother that +ghost, Beth, will you marry me?" + +"I'll--I'll think about it, Jimmy." + + + + +Chapter XIV + + +"Very well," said Jimmy, "come up to the church." + +"The church?" + +"You suggested going to the church before we explored the cave. What's +wrong about going there now?" + +"But what do you want to go to the church for? You said you hated +churches." + +"The mediæval knight," said Jimmy, "always went to church before he set +out to slay dragons. He generally spent a whole day there, consecrating +his sword and that sort of thing. Come on." + +"I won't go to the church with you if you're going to do anything +profane or make jokes about religion." + +"I'm going to discover a ghost," said Jimmy. "You can't call that +profane." + +They passed through the middle of the rehearsal. Mrs. Eames shouted at +them entreating them to stop and give advice about the proper way of +handling kegs supposed to contain French brandy. Sir Evelyn descended +from his perch and wanted to start a discussion about the rigging of +the lugger. Jimmy took no notice of either of them. He waved his hand +cheerfully to Mrs. Eames, and when his uncle caught him by the sleeve +scarcely allowed himself to be stopped. + +"Later on," he said. "I'll go into all that in an hour or so. Just at +present I can't. I'm frightfully busy. I've a most pressing engagement. +The whole future of the pageant depends on my keeping it. Come on, +Beth." + +They crossed the beach and reached the green. There they were +approached by the two girls who had been left in charge of the horse. +Earlier in the day they had been eager enough to be allowed to hold +it. Now they were thoroughly tired of the job, and felt that they were +missing all the fun that was going on at the mouth of the cave. They +wanted to be released. + +"Certainly not," said Jimmy. "Life isn't all fun. You ask this lady," +he pointed to Beth, "and she'll tell you that the great thing is to be +real and earnest and doing some jolly useful kind of work, holding a +horse, for instance, or chasing ghosts or anything of that sort which +is really hard work and is done for the sake of others. That's it, +isn't it, Beth?" + +Beth looked at the girls who wanted to be off and hated holding the +horse. She looked at the horse, which also wanted to be off and hated +being held. + +"I really think," she said, "that Aunt Agatha wouldn't mind if they +went away." + +"Beastly inconsistent of you, Beth," said Jimmy. "I think you ought to +tell those girls what you're always telling me. I mean about getting +married. Now, listen to me, Millicent Pamela. And you, Gwendoline +Irene--those are your names, I suppose." + +The girls grinned shamefacedly. With an instinctive knowledge of the +taste of village people he had got the girls' names very nearly right. +One of them was Auriole Millicent and the other Eunice Gwendoline. + +"The lady says that if you don't slay dragons or hold that horse or +chase a ghost or do something like that, no nice man will ever marry +you. That's it, isn't it, Beth?" + +But the girls did not wait to hear what Beth had to say. They were +prepared to sacrifice their chance of getting husbands rather than miss +the gathering at the mouth of the cave. + +Beth and Jimmy climbed the steep path which led to the church. The two +Whittles, their flag signalling accomplished, had gone away. Jimmy +walked slowly round the churchyard looking at the graves with some +attention. The tombstones were all in place and looked as if they had +not been disturbed for years. Not a single grave had been recently +opened. + +"What are you doing?" said Beth. + +"Looking for the ghost," said Jimmy, "who's throwing stones through the +roof of the cave." + +He climbed on the wall of the churchyard and looked down, standing in +the very spot which had been occupied by the Whittles an hour before. +He saw the green, where the horse, released from bondage, was grazing +quietly. He saw the stony beach. He saw the face of the cliff beyond +the cave. He peered over and looked straight down. He turned and looked +at the cliff behind the church, a precipice of rugged rock. + +"Well, I'm hanged," he said. + +"What is the matter?" said Beth. + +"I'm hanged if I thought that even the ghost of a smuggler would have +done it," he said. "What lawless ruffians those fellows were! But even +so I'd have expected them to have some regard for the church." + +"I don't know what you're talking about," said Beth. + +"Well, you ought to know. And considering it was you who drove me on to +do it I don't see how you can possibly not know." + +"Drove you on to do what?" + +"Find the ghost of the smuggler who's throwing stones. He must have dug +a hole somewhere to throw them through, mustn't he? Even a ghost can't +throw stones through solid earth. And he must have done it up here, for +the place is right over the cave. My idea was that he was operating +through a grave, his own very likely, but he isn't. Nothing could be +more peacefully undisturbed than all these graves, not a tombstone +so much as knocked sideways. Still there the facts are. Somebody is +dropping stones from somewhere into the chimney at the end of the cave +and if it isn't from a hole in the graveyard it must be from inside the +church. The next thing is to go inside and look." + +"But Uncle Timothy's there," said Beth, "and if anybody was digging a +hole in the church he'd stop them." + +"He might not. It all depends on who was digging. Lots of people would +hesitate to interfere with the ghost of a smuggler." + +The south door of the church was locked. The small door which led into +the vestry was locked, too. The large west door under the tower had +not been opened for years. Loud knocking on one door after the other +brought no answer. + +"Uncle Timothy," said Beth, "must have gone to sleep. I don't wonder. +I expect Aunt Agatha keeps him awake most of the night telling him that +he really ought to do something for the parish." + +"So he ought," said Jimmy. "I quite agree with your aunt. I quite agree +with you, too, Beth, when you say that sort of thing. I wonder if we +could open a window and climb in." + +"Church windows don't open," said Beth. + +Perhaps some day they will, if the Modernists get their way. Then +all sorts of dangerous draughts will blow the altar hangings about, +dissipate the smell of incense and dying flowers, even disturb the +heavy stuffiness of centuries of ordered piety. In the meanwhile Beth +was right. Church windows are not made to open. + +Next to getting in, which appeared to be impossible, the best thing +was to look in. But here again there were difficulties. Church windows +are set high in walls and cannot easily be reached. But Jimmy was a +young man of great determination. He found a shed in a corner of the +churchyard. In it the sexton kept a scythe, a mowing machine, some cans +and a bier, a four-wheeled vehicle with rubber tyres. Jimmy wheeled +it out and set it under a window. Beth protested. She feared that this +use of a bier if not actually sacrilege was an offence against decency. +Jimmy climbed up on the bier and peered through the window. + +He had a clear view of the nave of the church. He could peer down into +the pews, could see the pulpit, the font and the lectern. There was +no sign that the pavement or flooring had been disturbed anywhere. +Worshippers might have entered, had in fact entered, three days +before, and sat in their accustomed seats and listened to all that +they expected to hear without being struck by anything unusual in the +condition of their church. + +Jimmy moved the bier to a window in the chancel and climbed up on it +again. He found himself looking down into the high-sided square pew, +surrounded with curtains, which stood close to the chancel rails. It +had been set apart a century before for the use of the lord of the +manor. It had been unoccupied for at least fifty years by anyone, +except the vicar, when he used it as a study and sat in one of the +arm-chairs with the tattered carpet under his feet, reading Epictetus. + +When Jimmy looked down into it the arm-chairs had been moved and piled +into a corner. The carpet had been rolled up. The flooring had been +removed. In a deep hole in the middle of the pew he saw the back of the +Reverend Timothy Eames bent low over a spade. + +"Well, I'm properly and completely damned," said Jimmy. + +Beth was steadying the bier, which had a tendency to run away whenever +Jimmy moved. She was very naturally shocked at the use of this language +by an unauthorised layman so near the church. The position of the +clergy is quite different. They are actually commanded to say "damn" +not only near but inside the church. + +"Jimmy dear," she said, "do you remember where you are?" + +"Get up here," he said, "and peep in. Then you'll forget where you are +and either say 'damn' or something worse." + +He jumped down, upsetting the bier, a vehicle not designed for the use +of active passengers. When it was on its four wheels again he helped +Beth on to it and she took her turn at peering through the window. + +"Good gracious!" she said. "It's Uncle Timothy." + +"There's a Lisping for that Lilith of yours for next week," he said. +"'The floor of a parish church dug up by pious vicar.' Such a thing has +never been heard of before." + +"Jimmy," she whispered, "do you think---- I've heard that the clergy +are often buried in the chancels of churches, and he does have a trying +time sometimes with Aunt Agatha? Do you think he can be digging his own +grave? Oh!" + +The exclamation was forced from her by the fact that the vicar, +startled by some sound, suddenly stood upright and stared at her. +Beth's nerves had already been shaken by the noises and the falling +stones in the cave. It was small wonder that the sudden rising of her +uncle from what looked like a grave startled her afresh. + +The vicar was nearly as frightened as she was. A face appearing at a +church window high up in the walls of a chancel is scarcely likely to +belong to a human being. In all probability it is an angel, and though +we respect angels and like to sing hymns about them we do not want to +come into personal contact with one. Their portraits are all very well +and can be comfortably admired when painted on the glass of church +windows. The actual face pressed against the glass outside is not such +a pleasant thing to see. + +Mr. Eames recovered his self-possession before Beth regained hers. He +recognised his niece, and having recognised her was embarrassed rather +than frightened. + +"My dear Beth," he shouted, for it is necessary to shout if +conversation is to be carried on through a stained glass window. "I +didn't expect to meet you here, but I'm very glad, very glad indeed +to see you. I'll come out to you and then we can both go down to the +vicarage for tea. You're sure to want tea. I know I do. To tell you +the truth I forgot to bring up any sandwiches to-day, so I've had no +lunch." + +He rubbed a little of the clay off his hands, laid the floor boards of +the pew over the hole and replaced the carpet. Then he unlocked the +south door of the church and greeted Beth. She introduced Jimmy. The +Vicar looked first at one and then at the other with a whimsical little +smile. + +"You young people have caught me," he said. "But I hope----it's +rather a humiliating request to make but I hope that you won't find it +necessary to tell anyone what I was doing." + +"As if we would, Uncle Timothy," said Beth. "Especially Aunt Agatha." + +"Yes, yes, especially your aunt. Of course I'm going to tell her all +about it in the end. But the fact is---- You know, my dear Beth, how +your aunt is always telling me that I ought to do something for the +parish." + +"Poor Uncle Timothy!" said Beth. + +"She's quite right," said Mr. Eames mildly. "I've always admitted that +she's quite right. A man ought not to live without doing something." + +"That's exactly what Beth says to me," said Jimmy, "and she's quite +right, too." + +"My difficulty," said Mr. Eames, "was to discover something which I +could do, and at the same time something that would please your aunt. +Now I think I've found the exact thing." + +"Uncle Timothy," said Beth, "I don't believe Aunt Agatha is as bad as +that. I know she's really fond of you. She won't be pleased. She really +won't. She'll be very sorry, heartbroken, when you tell her that you've +dug your grave." + +"My grave! My dear Beth! Dug my grave! But I haven't. Nothing of the +sort." + +"Then what on earth were you digging?" said Beth. + +"That," said the vicar, "is quite a long story." + +It was; but he told it. Sitting on a flat tombstone with Beth on the +grass at his feet, and Jimmy, fairly comfortable, full stretch on the +bier. + +Years before, soon after coming to Hailey Compton, the vicar had heard +that there was some connection between the church and the cave. A +legend existed, repeated without conviction by the old people in the +parish, that the smugglers, in the irreverent days of the eighteenth +century, used to store their goods in the church itself. But such +stories are common all over England. There is scarcely an ancient +church but rumour speaks of a covered way between it and a cave or the +ruins of a monastery or a house which occupies the site of what was +once a baron's castle. There is at least one church which tradition +insists on connecting with a neighbouring public-house. If that passage +could be found--and traces of it were discovered lately by men engaged +in making a drain--it might be used as an argument by temperance +reformers to demonstrate that an immoral alliance has always existed +between the church and the brewery. Or by the advocates of more and +better beer, to prove that the church, in the days when its faith was +still undefiled by Henry VIII and Elizabeth, was not hostile to the +natural joys of life. Such is the peculiar value of arguments based +on historical and archæological research. They can be used with equal +force on either side in any modern dispute. + +Mr. Eames, knowing the untrustworthy nature of local legends, paid +no particular attention to that which connected his church with the +smugglers' cave, and might never have investigated the matter if he had +not been troubled by a loose board in the floor of the pew to which he +had retired to read Epictetus. Day after day this board wobbled and +shook under the leg of his chair when he sat down. He remembered the +same thing happening when he had retired to the church for a few days +during the starting of his wife's plays. Then, since he did not stay +long, the thing had not mattered much. On the occasion of the pageant +it became a serious annoyance. It was no use moving the chair, for +wherever he put it one of its legs stood on a loose board. It appeared +that nearly all the boards in the floor of that pew were loose. + +Goaded to exasperation he at last took up the well worn and exceedingly +dirty carpet to find out what was the matter with the boards. He +discovered to his amazement that they were not only loose but movable, +and evidently intended to be movable. One of them had a brass ring, +by which it could without difficulty be lifted out of its place. Once +it was lifted those on each side could be moved too. Mr. Eames, mildly +excited, uncovered a square hole into which it was possible to step. + +The legend of the existence of a passage connecting the church with +the cave came back to his mind. There must, he thought, be some truth +in it, for he had lit on what looked like the end of a passage leading +from the church to somewhere, perhaps into the cave. With the aid of an +ordnance survey map and some measurements which he took, he reached the +conclusion that the end of the cave must be directly under the church. +He discovered the chimney in the cave's roof which had excited Beth +and Jimmy when they found it. It seemed perfectly plain that the hole +inside the church and the chimney in the cave were part of one passage. +Unfortunately the hole was filled with stones and loose earth. In order +to establish the connection, Mr. Eames had to do some excavating. He +brought up the spade from the vicarage and afterwards the pickaxe which +Mrs. Eames missed and supposed to be lost or stolen. Coming on a large +block of stone, one of the main causes of the obstruction, he found +that he could not move it with his hands. He went very early in the +morning and took young Bunce's tackle from the mouth of the cave. After +the removal of that stone he got on rapidly and had almost completed +the clearance when Beth and Jimmy visited the cave. + +"I have great hopes," he said simply, "that your aunt will be pleased +when I show her the hole leading straight down into the cave." + +"I'm sure she will," said Beth. + +"And she'll never be able to say again that I do nothing for the +parish. A discovery like that ought to be quite useful for any parish. +Don't you think so?" + +"It will make Hailey Compton famous," said Beth, "and Aunt Agatha will +be able to get up another pageant to show it off." + +Jimmy seemed uninterested in the ultimate value of the hole to the +modern parish. He wanted to understand what it was like and how it was +originally used. + +"Are there any remains of steps?" he asked. + +"Oh no," said Mr. Eames, "it's just a hole. In fact I shall have to be +very careful not to fall through when I'm finishing off the digging." + +"I didn't see any sign of steps at the lower opening," said Jimmy. + +"They may have used ladders," said Beth. + +"My idea," said the vicar, "is that the men didn't go up and down at +all. The passage was only used for hoisting things from the cave into +the church. It's just a straight drop like a well, and anything could +be pulled up." + +"Anyhow," said Jimmy, "it's a most interesting thing and everybody +ought to be most grateful to you for finding it." + +"You really think so," said the vicar with an anxious little smile. "I +should be very happy if I thought my wife would take that view of it." + +"Oh, she's sure to," said Beth. + +"But don't tell her about it until it's quite finished. It would be so +much better if it comes to her as a surprise." + +"I won't open my lips," said Beth, "and you can count on Jimmy. He's +most reliable." + +"And do you really think," said the vicar, appealing to Jimmy, "that I +have succeeded at last in doing something for the parish?" + +"I can only say, sir," said Jimmy, rising from the bier, "that I wish +I'd half your luck. I came up to your church this evening hoping to +find something really useful to do, something which would redeem my +life from mere fatuity----" + +"Oh, do shut up, Jimmy," said Beth. "I never said that." + +"Not in those words," said Jimmy, "not in nearly such nice words, +though you are an author. But it's exactly what you meant. And now I +find----" he turned to the vicar, "that you've been beforehand with me. +I congratulate you." + +The vicar seemed puzzled. He looked inquiringly at Beth out of his +colourless, watery eyes, while Jimmy shook his limp and earthy hand +with painful heartiness. + + + + +Chapter XVI + + +Of the actual performance of the Hailey Compton pageant it is surely +unnecessary to give any account here. Every newspaper in England +devoted columns to the description of the brilliant scene. It is +impossible for anyone to have escaped reading something about it +and, knowing that it was an immense success, perhaps the most popular +show since the Diamond Jubilee of Queen Victoria. The least observant +among us can scarcely have helped looking at the picture of the last +Prime Minister, in a silk hat and frock coat, shaking hands with Lord +Colavon, the helmsman of the lugger, who was attired, in spite of Sir +Evelyn's antiquarian scruples, in white flannels and a yachting cap. +Quite as widely reproduced was the photograph of the bishop patting the +head of one of the pack horses, while the two girls responsible for it +stood beside him with chaste smiles, as if they expected to have their +heads patted when the bishop had done with the horse; which indeed +happened to both of them, though the photographs of that patting were +not published. + +The day of the performance was singularly fine, which was pure luck, +but helped greatly towards its success. Had it been raining or even +drizzling the great scene would almost certainly have been a failure. +The flare on the church tower might have smoked instead of blazing. +The signal lamps on the lugger out at sea would have been invisible +on shore. But it was not luck, it was skill, which chose the exact +moment for the arrival of the lugger. An hour earlier, when the glow +of the setting sun was still strong, the blaze on the tower would have +been unimpressive, and the flashing lights at sea would have escaped +notice altogether. An hour or two hours later, when the twilight had +died away, it would have been impossible for the spectators to see what +happened when the lugger reached the cave. But Mrs. Eames--Sir Evelyn +got the credit in the newspapers but Mrs. Eames deserved it--chose +what Beth in a description of the performance called the psychological +moment. It was just dark enough for the signal lights to make a good +display, and there was still light enough to allow the operations of +landing the cargo to be observed. + +It was skill and not luck which selected the day for the performance, +and here the credit belongs almost entirely to Lord Colavon. He +discovered a day--perhaps the only day during the whole of that +summer--when there was nothing else of great importance going on. Ascot +was over. The Wimbledon Tennis Tournament had not yet begun. There was +a pause between the first and second Test Matches. Yachts had not yet +begun to race in popular waters. Interest in the regatta at Henley +had died away. The fashionable world and that greater public which +amuses itself in fashionable ways had nowhere particular to go on that +particular day; no engagements and nothing fresh to talk about. The +Hailey Compton Pageant filled a gap. + +It had been very well advertised, again a matter of skill, though +mingled with luck. It was Beth Appleby who deserved praise for the +advertising. She did not, indeed--no single person could--write +all the preparatory notes and articles which appeared for weeks +beforehand. She did not supply the papers with all the photographs +they published. Other journalists, discovering and developing the +popularity of the pageant, earned their guineas. But it was Beth who +did the spade work and forced the pageant on the attention of editors +who might otherwise not have noticed it. Her character sketch of James +Hinton--"Valet and Artist"--attracted attention in a popular Sunday +paper. A study of Mrs. Eames as an enthusiastic and successful reviver +of the best features of mediæval village life, with its apt quotations +from Blake's poems--"Dark, satanic mills" and "England's green and +pleasant land"--won the sympathy and support of the intellectual +neo-Catholics, a school of writers who still possess a great, though +diminishing influence among the members of suburban literary societies. +Her intimate account of Sir Evelyn's home life--"Studious research +and patient pursuits of original sources"--was read, or at all events +talked of, all over Oxford. It was she who circulated the first +published photograph of the cave, several "camera portraits" of old +Bunce, of the mentally deficient Whittle, and of Lord Colavon seated at +the steering wheel of the Pallas Athene. Her success stimulated other +photographers, and the press was flooded, though by no means sated, +with snapshots of every person and place connected with the pageant. +There was even, in one paper, a picture of Mr. Linker, standing, with +a smile on his face, in front of the door of his shop in Morriton St. +James. + +The results of all this care, thought and skill, were obvious early on +the afternoon of the great day. People had talked to each other about +Hailey Compton and wondered where it was. Newspapers found themselves +obliged to publish road maps, often very inaccurate, to satisfy this +desire for information. Motor-cars of every size and make converged +on the stretch of down land above the cliffs, followed each other in +a long procession along the road, and plunged, one after another, down +the twisting lane. There were no accidents, because it was impossible +for any car to break free from control and rush down the hill. When +any brakes failed or any driver lost his nerve, his car merely bumped +gently into the one in front. There was not room for it to gather +dangerous speed before the collision and to produce disaster it would +have had to push, not one or two but at least a hundred cars in front +of it, a thing impossible for any single car to do. + +A little more than half-way down the hill Mr. Linker had established +a kind of toll-gate through which no car was allowed to pass without +the payment of a fee. Some people resented this interference with +the freedom of the King's highway, but their protests were futile. +They never had time to say much or express their feelings fully, for +the pressure of the cars behind drove theirs forward while they were +still arguing about their rights. The takings at this toll-gate were +enormous. + +The catering for the multitude--preliminary afternoon tea and cold +supper afterwards--was managed by James Hinton. There was, late in the +evening, a shortage of ham, tongue and lamb, for the numbers exceeded +all expectation. But the cold beef held out until the end and there was +no failure of salad. + +For Mrs. Eames the day was one of unmixed and rapturous delight. Every +single part of the performance went without a hitch, exactly as she +had planned it. Even the mermaid dance--Mary Lambert and twenty village +girls along the margin of the sea--was successful, a surprising thing +and highly creditable to every one concerned in it, for it was very +difficult to dance gracefully over large, round stones. + +Sir Evelyn was well pleased with himself and everyone else. His +introductory speech, those few words, without which no function of any +sort can get started, were taken down by eager reporters, and cheered +by all who could hear them and many who could not. He had on one +side of him the Chief of his Party, who shook hands with him in warm +congratulation when the performance was over, and on the other side, +the bishop, who graciously expressed a wish that the whole thing might +be done again in the grounds of his palace, fifty miles inland, for +the benefit of the cathedral funds. Other eminent men and women who +clustered behind him, were fluent in their compliments, which was easy +for them, because each one had come with a neat little speech prepared, +in case, as each one hoped, such a thing should be required. + +Sir Evelyn felt that he was once more in his proper place, almost +as prominent as he had been and hoped to be again when his Party +was in power and he was a Cabinet Minister. But though pleased and +satisfied, Sir Evelyn was exceedingly tired when the affair was over. +His labours had begun long before he arrived at Hailey Compton for the +performance, and continued for two whole days after the pageant was +over. He entertained for the occasion all the more eminent patrons of +the pageant, and they made a difficult party to manage. The bishop was +as suave and smiling as a Christian prelate ought to be, and he got +on very well with the young actress who talked with him in the latest +slang. But he did not get on equally well with the titled doctor who +happened to be an anti-Christian by temperament, and wanted to repeat +all the witticisms he had ever heard about the Church when he found +himself, a little unexpectedly, in distinguished company. There were +moments of anxiety when the judge, who was strongly prejudiced against +all doctors, insisted on saying what he thought about expert medical +witnesses, and the evidence they gave. Beth Appleby and Mary Lambert +would, perhaps, have been no great help to Sir Evelyn even if they had +been still at the Manor House. They had both gone to the vicarage at +Hailey Compton before the important guests arrived. Mary had to be on +the spot for rehearsals of the mermaid dance. Beth found it desirable +to be at the centre of activity. Both knew that there would be no +room for them at the Manor House and had enough tact and good sense +to go away, though Sir Evelyn invited them to stay on. Jimmy was with +him still, and was really helpful. Having the sort of temperament +which is unaffected by the pomposities and vanities of elderly and +successful men, he remained infectiously cheerful and often saved an +awkward situation by making jokes so silly that everybody, except the +actress, united to snub him and felt quite friendly with each other +when they had succeeded. But even Jimmy added a little to his uncle's +difficulties with the party. He took the ex-Prime Minister out for a +drive in the restored Pallas Athene and frightened him so much that for +a whole day afterwards he was querulous and captious, the result of a +severe nervous shock. + +Thus it was that when the pageant was over, and two days later the last +eminent guest had gone, Sir Evelyn was thoroughly tired, and glad to +sit down quietly in his study. He felt a great yearning for silence and +solitude. His surroundings promised him just what he wanted. + +The sun shone in pleasantly through a large south window and the glare, +which is the great fault of shining summer suns, was reduced by the +leaves of a virginia creeper which clustered on the wall round the +casement. Outside, a breeze made a gentle rustling through the branches +of a glowing copper beech. The long herbaceous border was ablaze with +colour, the brilliant blue of anchusas, the mauves and pinks of tall +foxgloves, the white of a ribbon of low pinks, the subdued blue of +violas, and the rich reds of many sweet-williams. Sir Evelyn, looking +out, enjoyed a sense of mild relief--mild because he was too tired to +feel anything strongly, even the delight of sunshine and the colours of +the flowers. + +Inside, the room was cool and staid. Gentle shadows, like the +caresses of middle-aged lovers, hung over the bookshelves and the +pictures on the wall. There stood, in orderly rows, all Sir Evelyn's +favourite books; old memoirs bound in faded calf, tall folios rich +in illustrations, rebound in purple leather and adorned with gilt +impressions of the Dent coat of arms, portfolios of ancient charts, +squat vellum-coloured accounts of early voyages. The pictures were +those which Sir Evelyn chiefly delighted in, sea pieces, where +old-fashioned ships lay in harbour with high-peaked bowsprits, tall +poops and hanging sails; or plunged through crested seas while windy +clouds raced across the sky. + +Sir Evelyn, stretched in a deep chair, looked round at the books and +pictures with mild pleasure. His was the delightful ease which follows +a time of weariness. And that weariness in his case had been the result +of hard work well done, toil brought to a successful end. Ease without +the congratulations of a satisfied conscience loses half its delight. +Sir Evelyn's conscience was in alliance with his surroundings to give +him the full joy of peace. His work was done, well done, praised by all +men and need never be done again. Is any state achieved by man on earth +more delightful than that? + +On the table beside his chair stood piles of press cuttings, four +large piles. They had been taken from their green wrappers and neatly +arranged by a careful servant. Sir Evelyn had not, while his guests +remained with him, had time to read the accounts of the pageant; but +when the judge, latest lingering of his guests, had gone, he looked +forward to the pleasure of studying all the papers had to say about +him. Never, even when he was Cabinet Minister, had his piles of +cuttings been quite so high. But Sir Evelyn waited, like an epicure who +hesitates before putting the delicious morsel into his mouth, hoping to +double the pleasure by adding expectation to realisation. + +While he lingered, satisfied with stillness and silence, tenderly +savouring the pleasure to come, his chance of ever enjoying it was +snapped from him. A servant entered the room. + +"A gentleman has called who wishes to see you, sir." + +"I won't see anyone to-day," said Sir Evelyn. + +He had seen and talked to gentlemen of every sort and description every +day and at all hours for a week. He had been photographed, interviewed, +invited and pressed to do fifty troublesome things. He was determined +to have no more gentlemen let loose at him. + +"He's a Mr. East, sir," said the servant, "and he says his business is +most important." + +"Mr. East!" + +Sir Evelyn was dimly aware of having heard the name before, but +couldn't remember when or where. + +"He asked me to mention that he is connected with the Board of Inland +Revenue, sir." + +"What on earth can he want with me? The entertainment tax is paid. At +least I think we paid the entertainment tax. Mr. Linker undertook to +look after that." + +"The gentleman says his business is very urgent, sir." + +"I suppose I'd better see him, though it's a nuisance. Show him in +here." + +Mr. East was shown in, a lean little man with a ragged brown beard. +He introduced himself as a supervisor of Customs and Excise for +the district. He was so nervous that his hands shook and his voice +quavered. + +"If there's been any misunderstanding about the entertainment tax," +said Sir Evelyn, "I wish you'd see Mr. Linker about it. His shop is in +High Street, and at this time of day you're sure to find him there." + +Mr. East, fidgeting uncomfortably, said that the entertainment tax had +been paid and that no question about it had been raised or was likely +to be raised by the Inland Revenue authorities, "but----" he stuttered, +and then hesitated. + +The man's nervous fidgetiness exasperated Sir Evelyn, who could imagine +no reason why he did not go straight to his business, whatever it was. +Yet certain excuses might have been made for Mr. East. He was a minor +officer in a branch of the Civil Service. Nurtured in the tradition of +that great service he regarded the Parliamentary Heads of Departments +as men who should be treated as the heathen, and some others, treat +their gods, with reverential respect and humble worship; although--the +example of the heathen and others may be cited again--their commands +and expressed opinions may be and should be regarded as unimportant and +generally foolish. Sir Evelyn was, or had been, such a god. Mr. East +was an orthodox worshipper. It is natural for pious men to be nervous +and fidgety in the presence of gods. + +And Mr. East was a man who had achieved a certain amount of what +is called education by means of County Council scholarships and had +successfully passed the examination which admitted him to the Civil +Service. He was therefore inclined to dislike and despise those for +whom the winning of scholarships in early life had not been necessary +and who, in spite of their expensive education could not at any time +have passed a Civil Service examination. By temperament, position and +achievement he was one of those Englishmen who have a thorough contempt +for our aristocracy, the class to which Sir Evelyn unquestionably +belonged. No one is more nervous than your thoroughgoing democrat who +is determined not to be uncomfortable in the company of men like Sir +Evelyn. + +But there was yet another reason to account for the perspiration which +was standing on Mr. East's forehead. Imagine a worshipper forced to +accuse the god above his altar of a base fraud, or an independent +member of the middle class who finds himself compelled to make a charge +of a dishonourable kind against a man whose name, borne by a long list +of ancestors, is written like an endorsement across page after page of +English history. + +That was the unfortunate position of Mr. East. + +He had that morning received from London by registered post from the +permanent head of his department, instructions to visit Sir Evelyn, +to see him personally, to inform him that His Majesty's Department of +Customs and Excise was fully aware that smuggling on a large scale had +been carried on under cover of the Hailey Compton pageant. + +Mr. East had gasped when he read that letter. It gave details, so +many gallons of French brandy and wine, a very large quantity. So many +hundred yards of silk, the real product of the industry of the foreign +worm. The fraud was as shameless as it was immense; and there was no +doubt whatever about the facts. Mr. East, who knew his business and the +ways of his department, understood exactly how this information had +been received and how it came that the department was so sure of its +facts. Notice is always sent by agents, whose business it is to watch +such things, of any considerable shipment of contraband goods from a +Continental port. The ship which carries them is known. The men to whom +they are consigned in England are marked. + +All this Mr. East had to tell, and in the end did tell to Sir Evelyn. +He was nervous and miserable, but he was a man possessed by that spirit +which forces the best of us to do desperately unpleasant duties. He did +his. + +Sir Evelyn's conscience was perfectly clear. He was annoyed that such +an absurd and tiresome mistake should have been made; but he had +not the slightest doubt that it was a mistake. He said so with the +confidence of an accused man who knows that he is innocent. + +Mr. East, more nervous than ever, but still determined to do his duty, +went on: + +"I'm instructed to say, sir, that the department is unwilling to allow +the law to take its course in the case of a man----" Here he corrected +himself and said "gentleman, in your position. If you will make a +frank statement of the amount of contraband goods imported, and will at +once pay the full duty applicable to such goods no further proceedings +will be taken. You will understand, sir"--Mr. East nearly choked while +saying this--"that this leniency is only extended to you in order to +avoid what might well be a most disagreeable scandal." + +Here, it is regrettable to have to relate it, Sir Evelyn lost +his temper. Being perfectly innocent of any attempt to defraud, +or intention of making an attempt to defraud anyone, he was very +naturally indignant. He suggested in tones of icy dignity that Mr. +East should leave the room and communicate with him further--if further +communication was necessary--through a firm of solicitors. + +"I am also instructed, sir," said Mr. East, "to say that no steps will +be taken before to-morrow morning. The department, though unable to +condone or overlook the fraud, is willing to give you time to consider +their proposal and your position." + +This was more than Sir Evelyn could stand. He stood up and rang the +bell. + +"I shall direct my servant," he said, "to show you out and not to admit +you into my house again." + +Mr. East, by this time sweating at every pore and tingling with acute +discomfort, bowed and turned towards the door. + +"I ought to add," he said as he went out, "that no attempt to remove +the dutiable goods from the cave in which we believe them to be stored +will be permitted. To-morrow at noon, unless you have complied with the +terms of the department's proposal, our officers will enter the cave +and seize the goods." + +"Your officers," said Sir Evelyn, goaded to extreme exasperation, +"may search the cave as much as they damned well choose. They'll find +nothing there." + + + + +Chapter XVII + + +The departure of the last guest from the Manor House was almost as +great a relief to Lord Colavon as to Sir Evelyn. It was he who drove +the judge and his suit case to the railway station in Morriton St. +James. Having handed over the case to the porter and waved farewell to +the judge he felt that duty had no further claim upon him. He swept the +car round, picked his way through the narrow streets of the town and +set out upon the road which led to Hailey Compton. There he indulged in +a joyous burst of speed. The Pallas Athene, restored by the new parts +sent from London, responded and showed herself to be the sort of car he +hoped and supposed when he bought her. + +The twenty miles to the top of the cliff were covered in less than half +an hour, and when Jimmy changed gear for the descent into the village +he felt well satisfied. He had reason to be. The weather which had +pleased Sir Evelyn, resting in his study, delighted Jimmy who had the +sparkling sea in front of him. Beth was at the vicarage and he was on +his way to see her. He had stored safely in the cave six dozen pairs +of silk stockings. He looked forward to seeing the pleasure of the two +girls when he made his present to them. There were also in the cave a +number of cases of brandy, some hundreds of bottles of champagne and +a quantity of other wine, the property of James Hinton. There were +some large bales of silk which belonged to Mr. Linker. Jimmy was not +concerned about these. He had helped to land them and helped to store +them, without, as he believed, attracting any attention or giving rise +to any questions or inquiries. The business had been carried through +with the greatest ease and Jimmy's part of it was over. The removal and +final disposal of the goods was the affair of the owners. All Jimmy had +to do was to pick up his own parcel, tuck it under his arm and walk out +of the cave with it. + +The car drew up at the vicarage door and Jimmy was greeted by the two +girls with shouts of welcome. + +"We're just starting off to bathe," said Mary. + +"You'll come too, of course," said Beth. "If you haven't got a bathing +dress you must borrow Uncle Timothy's. I've never known him bathe, but +he's sure to have one somewhere." + +Mrs. Eames, laden with towels, appeared and greeted Jimmy. + +"This is just splendid," she said. "We'll all go and bathe together. +Such a day! The first really hot day this summer. The pool at the mouth +of the cave will be glorious. And then you'll come back and lunch with +us. Now don't interrupt me, Beth." Beth was trying to speak. "I know +there's nothing to eat, literally nothing. Two great hungry girls, +Lord Colavon. You can't imagine what a lot of food they get through. +But we'll send Gladys out to borrow what she can. Her aunt may have +some bacon. Anyway we can get some bread and cheese. I'm sure you +won't mind, Lord Colavon. Beth is trying to say that you will, but you +won't." + +"I wasn't trying to say any such thing," said Beth. "I was trying to +say that Jimmy hasn't got a bathing dress." + +"Would Timothy's fit you? He has one, I know, for I bought it for him +last summer. But he's never worn it, not once. Such a pity. But you +know the sort of man your poor, dear uncle is, Beth. He won't enjoy +himself. So tiresome of him. I'm just as fond of him as I was the day +I married him, but I do wish I could tempt him to do something really +wrong. It would be so good for him. Not that bathing is wrong. It +isn't. Though I sometimes think that Timothy thinks it is." + +After a long search in which both girls joined, the vicar's bathing +dress was found, still wrapped in the paper in which it had left +Linker's shop in Morriton St. James. The towel offered by Mrs. +Eames was not so new. Indeed it was far from being clean. The vicar, +apparently, had not thought it wrong to use it. + +"How tiresome," said Mrs. Eames, a few minutes later as they crossed +the beach. "There's somebody there at the mouth of the cave. A man. I +can't think what he's doing there. It doesn't matter really of course. +Still, it would have been nicer if we'd had the place to ourselves." + +"He looks like a policeman," said Mary. + +"He can't be a policeman," said Mrs. Eames. "There aren't any in Hailey +Compton. I never saw one here in my life except on the day of the +pageant. There were a few then." + +"It is a policeman right enough," said Jimmy. + +They were near enough to be sure of the uniform. Mrs. Eames was +surprised and annoyed. + +"Perhaps he'll go away," she said, "when he sees we're going to bathe. +I'm not particularly modest and I don't mind any ordinary man watching +me. But a policeman is different somehow. I'm sure you'd hate to have +a policeman standing about while you undress, wouldn't you, Mary?" + +Beth evidently disliked the presence of the policeman quite as much +as her aunt did, though not perhaps through feelings of modesty. She +caught Jimmy's arm and looked anxiously into his face. + +"Let's wave towels and bathing dresses," said Mrs. Eames, "and if that +doesn't make him understand that he's not wanted you'll have to ask him +to go away, Lord Colavon." + +The demonstration with towels and bathing dresses had no effect +whatever on the policeman. He stood there, stolid and unmoved, an +Englishman at the post of duty, and in all the world there is nothing +so immovable as that. + +Jimmy, pushed forward by Mrs. Eames, approached the man. + +"I wonder," he said, "if you'd mind moving away a little, a few yards +along the beach in either direction. The ladies want to bathe in this +pool and it's rather awkward if you stand just there. No place to +undress, you know." + +"Very sorry, sir," said the policeman. "No one is allowed to enter the +cave. Orders, sir." + +"Orders!" said Jimmy sharply. "Whose orders?" + +"Orders of the district superintendent at Morriton St. James, sir." + +Jimmy turned away and whistled softly. Mrs. Eames addressed a vigorous +protest to the policeman. She said a great deal about the rights of +free British citizens to enter caves if they chose. She argued about +the unreasonableness of interfering with an innocent pleasure like +bathing. She spoke, as she always did, volubly and with energy. The +policeman remained entirely indifferent, merely repeating the word +"Orders" from time to time when Mrs. Eames paused for breath. + +"Jimmy," said Beth, in an anxious whisper, "what's he doing here?" + +"It looks to me," said Jimmy, "very much as if somebody had tumbled +to the fact that all the cargo we landed the other night wasn't stage +property. If so, the fat's in the fire and no mistake." + +"But was there anything really smuggled?" said Beth. + +There is honour and a sense of comradeship among thieves. Jimmy would +not give away the secrets of Hinton and Linker. + +"There was that little parcel of silk stockings," he said, "which I +promised to get for you and Mary." + +"How perfectly sweet of you," said Mary. "I never thought you really +meant to." + +"I'm beginning to wish I hadn't," said Jimmy. "That policeman----" + +"Do you mean to say he'll take the stockings?" said Mary. "How mean!" + +"I'm very much afraid he'll do more than that," said Jimmy. + +"Jimmy, dearest," said Beth, "do you think he'll put you in prison?" + +Mrs. Eames, finding that neither protests nor arguments affected the +policeman, ended her harangue with a threat. + +"Perhaps you're not aware," she said, "that my husband is the vicar of +the parish, the Reverend Timothy Eames. I shall go straight to him now +and tell him of your outrageous behaviour. He'll know how to deal with +you." + +She cannot have believed that; but she spoke with dignity and firmness, +as if her husband was a masterful archdeacon and the policeman a +naughty choirboy. Perhaps the policeman knew the Reverend Timothy +Eames, perhaps he was a believer in the majesty of the law and held +that the temporal power is greater than the might of the Church. He was +quite unmoved by the threat, and when Mrs. Eames turned her back upon +him and walked stiffly away he showed no sign of fear. + +Mrs. Eames, very angry indeed, stalked back across the beach. Jimmy +and the girls followed her, Mary puzzled, Beth anxious, Jimmy thinking +deeply. + +"You'd better go to the vicarage with your aunt," he said. "I must trot +off and see James Hinton." + +"But can't I help you?" said Beth. "I'm rather frightened. I do wish +you hadn't done it, Jimmy." + +Jimmy refrained from saying he was not the only person who had done +it and that things would have been just as bad if there were no silk +stockings in the cave for her and Mary. + +A fresh surprise, exceedingly alarming and unpleasant, waited for +him at the Anchor Inn. On the bench outside were two policemen. They +were seated very much at their ease in the pleasant sunshine, and +both of them were smoking. It was plain that they were not on duty +at the moment. Jimmy's first thought was that Hinton had been already +arrested, but the attitude of the policemen reassured him. It is not +lolling with a pipe in his mouth that the British constable guards an +important prisoner. + +Jimmy passed into the inn and found Hinton in the room behind the +bar packing a suit-case. He looked white and haggard and was badly +frightened. But even with the fear of the vengeance of the law hanging +over him his excellent manners did not fail. + +"Good morning, my lord. Is there anything I can do for your lordship? +I fear the house is rather upset, but--a glass of beer, perhaps? I +am thinking of going away for a few days, just packing up, as you +see, my lord. But if there's anything I can do to make your lordship +comfortable before I go---- It has always been my wish, my lord, to +make any gentleman who employs me as comfortable as possible--or his +friends, my lord." + +The man, apparently, scarcely knew what he was saying. He was +frightened out of his senses and was possessed by a desire to get away +as quickly as possible. + +"You're not arrested, are you, Hinton?" + +"Me, my lord! Certainly not. I've always borne a most excellent +character. No one has ever had occasion to say anything against me. +I'm--I'm going away for a few days, my lord. A little holiday." + +"There's a policeman at the mouth of the cave, Hinton, and there are +two more outside your door at this moment. What are they doing?" + +"I don't know, my lord. I prefer not to inquire; but----" Here Hinton's +nerves failed him completely, and he broke down. Even his precise +English failed him, and he forgot to say "my lord" at the end of every +sentence. "Mr. Linker, he 'phoned through this morning," he whimpered. +"He said as how that cave was to be guarded night and day so that +nobody could go in or out nor nothing be taken in or out till to-morrow +and then the blasted Customs officers is to come and see what's there. +They can't arrest me till then. There isn't nothing for them to go on, +till they can lay their hands on the goods. That's why I'm off. And +Mr. Linker, he's off too. And if you take my advice you'll do a bolt +before they nab you. France I'm going to, or maybe Spain. Linker, he's +thinking of Russia; says as how the Russian Government won't give him +up. But I don't know. I never did trust them Bolshies myself." + +It was plain that there was neither counsel of a sensible kind nor any +help to be got from James Hinton. The man was the victim of an ague of +terror, and could not be trusted to do the simplest thing. Jimmy left +the inn, speaking a word of cheerful greeting to the policemen as he +passed. + +An hour later James Hinton placed his suit-case in the Ford car which +had once towed the Pallas Athene into Morriton St. James. He cranked +up his engine and went clattering up the village street. The policemen +watched him go. Then one of them took possession of the telephone in +the inn and rang up the constabulary office in Morriton St. James. No +one had authority or power to stop Hinton, but the police felt that +it might be convenient to know where he went, in case they wanted to +arrest him later on. The progress of the car was reported until it was +placed in a garage in Southampton. Hinton's further movements and his +embarking on board the steamer for St. Malo were also reported. After +that, he was left to the French police to see where he went and what he +did. + +Mr. Linker, making a break for freedom in another direction, reached +Amsterdam and was there marked down by the police. Whether he would +ever have got to Russia, or what would have happened to him there if +he had, we do not know. It turned out to be unnecessary for him to go +beyond Amsterdam. Hinton got no further than an hotel in Paramé. + +Jimmy went back to the vicarage. He found Beth and Mary anxious and +troubled. Mrs. Eames had gone up to the church, where she expected +to find her husband. She intended, so Beth said, to induce that +unfortunate man to go down to the cave and drive away the policeman, by +force if necessary. + +"Beth," said Jimmy, "we're in a middling tight place, all of us, +especially me. I've told you that I smuggled over a few stockings for +you and Mary." + +"Surely there won't be a row over a couple of pairs of silk stockings," +said Mary. "Nobody could be fool enough to make a fuss about that, not +a real fuss." + +"As a matter of fact there are six dozen pairs," said Jimmy. "But----" + +"How gorgeous!" said Mary. "Three dozen each. Jimmy, we must get +them somehow. Suppose I go and make myself perfectly sweet to that +policeman. He might be beguiled into letting me----" + +"Do shut up, Mary," said Beth anxiously. "This is serious. Go on, +Jimmy. What were you going to say?" + +"If it was only the stockings I've smuggled," said Jimmy, "there +wouldn't be much said about it, but the damned lugger was half full of +brandy and wine for Hinton and bales of silk for that sneaking ruffian +Linker." + +"Will they be arrested?" said Beth. "Don't say they'll be hanged. They +don't hang people for smuggling nowadays, do they?" + +"They won't be arrested or hanged if I can help it," said Jimmy. "Not +that I'd care if they were. I'd be glad. Those two sneaking cowards +have bolted, leaving the rest of us to take what's coming, and it'll be +mighty unpleasant, unless----" + +"Will they put you in prison, Jimmy?" said Mary. + +"They may. I don't know, and I don't much care. It won't be for very +long, anyhow. What I mind is the infernal mess Uncle Evie will be in, +and your aunt, and the bishop, a thoroughly decent old boy that bishop, +and all the rest of them. They'll never be able to hold up their heads +again. What I mean to say is, it doesn't matter about a fellow like me. +But how can Uncle Evie go on being a leading statesman and all that? +How can the bishop go on preaching the way bishops do? How can your +aunt go on being a vicar's wife, if once it comes out that they've all +been deliberately defrauding the revenue on a large scale?" + +"Do you mean to say that Aunt Agatha will have to give up being married +to Uncle Timothy?" said Beth. "She never will, whatever they say or do +to her." + +"She'll have to," said Jimmy. "Either that or he'll have to resign the +parish, unless we can pull them out of the mess they're in." + +"Then let's do it," said Beth. "I'm on for anything to save Aunt Agatha +and your old pet of an uncle whom I love. And the bishop. I've always +liked bishops, and this one seemed particularly nice. You'll help too, +Mary, won't you?" + +"Of course I will. I may not be as keen on bishops as you are, Beth, +but there are very few things I wouldn't do for the sake of three dozen +pairs of silk stockings." + +"The first question," said Jimmy, "is, can we persuade your uncle to +chip in and stand by us?" + +"He'd do anything for Aunt Agatha," said Beth. "He's just as fond of +her as she is of him." + +"I wonder would he do the sort of thing that some people might call +wrong?" + +"Of course he would," said Mary. "Anybody would. All really nice and +exciting things are wrong, but everybody does them." + +Beth was doubtful. + +"Uncle Timothy," she said, "isn't like you, Mary, or like most other +people. He has a conscience, rather a queer kind of conscience, quite +different from Aunt Agatha's, though hers is pretty silly too. The way +it takes her is, making her do things, for the parish and all that; +whereas it works the other way round with Uncle Timothy, and won't let +him do anything hardly. Queer things consciences are, aren't they?" + +"Glad I haven't got one," said Mary. + +"Well," said Jimmy, "we'll try him. But I tell you plainly that if he +won't, we're in an ugly place. Whether he helps or not, we're in an +ugly place; but it'll be much uglier if he won't stand in with us. I'm +not going to ask him to do much; but I must be able to count on his not +giving us away. I think I'd better go up to the church and tackle him." + + + + +Chapter XVIII + + +While he was speaking Mrs. Eames came up the drive holding the vicar's +hand. She was trying to walk much more quickly than he wanted to, +and it looked as if she was dragging him after her, a prisoner, but +apparently not an unwilling one, for his face expressed a kind of +puzzled delight. + +"Beth," she shouted, "you naughty girl! And you're just as bad, Lord +Colavon. Fancy your knowing all about it for days and days and never +saying a word to me, either of you." + +"I've just been showing her our little discovery," said the vicar in a +tone of mild apology. "You remember, Beth, the passage from the church +to the cave." + +"Aunt Agatha," said Beth, "I want to tell you----" + +"You were a wicked girl not to tell me before," said Mrs. Eames. "It's +the most exciting thing that's ever happened in Hailey Compton. We'll +get down the Royal Society of Antiquaries--I suppose there is a Royal +Society of Antiquaries. If there isn't we'll get down the whole British +Association, all sorts of learned men from everywhere. You remember the +fuss that there was over that skull they dug up somewhere a few years +ago. That will be nothing to what this will be. Hailey Compton will be +famous all over the world. I always said you ought to do something for +the parish, Timothy, and you have at last." + +"I'm so glad you're pleased," said the vicar with a wavering little +smile. + +"Aunt Agatha----" said Beth again. + +"Don't interrupt your uncle, Beth, when he's just going to tell us all +about his discovery." + +"Mrs. Eames," said Lord Colavon, "I really must speak to the vicar for +a minute. It's about a serious business and dashed unpleasant." + +Even Mrs. Eames was silenced for a moment by the gravity of his tone. +When he began to tell the story of the smuggling she grew excited and +indignant. + +"So that's what James Hinton had in his mind all the time," she +said, "and he was only pretending to be interested in the pageant. +Guaranteeing fifty pounds! And all the time I thought---- He has----" +here she stamped her foot, "he has had the insolence to make a fool +of me, he and that nasty Linker, a man I always hated, though I did +deal at his shop. But I never will again, or with Hinton. I'll get any +beer I want somewhere else, or I'll do without beer altogether. Lord +Colavon, do you mind not having any beer for luncheon to-day? Timothy, +you must promise me never to have Hinton for your churchwarden again." + +"The worst of it is," said Jimmy, "that the Inland Revenue people have +found out." + +"I'm glad to hear it," said Mrs. Eames. + +"And now," said Jimmy, "I'm very much afraid that there may be arrests." + +"The policeman at the mouth of the cave!" said Mrs. Eames. "So that's +why he was there. I don't care. I'm glad. Let him arrest James Hinton +as soon as he likes. I'd like to see him in prison. After the way he +made fools of us all he deserves it." + +"Hinton has run away," said Beth, "and the policeman will arrest you." + +"That's ridiculous," said Mrs. Eames. "He can't arrest me. I haven't +smuggled. They can't touch me, can they, Lord Colavon?" + +"I don't think they can arrest you," said Jimmy, "but they may arrest +me. And anyhow, there are other things to consider besides arrests. +There's your reputation, Mrs. Eames, and Uncle Evie's, and the +bishop's, and--well, all the people who've been down here, patrons of +the pageant and so forth. When this scandal comes out----" + +Even Mrs. Eames, though conscious of complete innocence, saw that a +scandal would be most unpleasant for everyone, and very damaging for +men like Sir Evelyn and the bishop. + +"But Jimmy has a plan," said Beth. "If only Uncle Timothy will agree to +it. Jimmy, what is your plan?" + +Jimmy explained a simple but promising scheme. The examination of the +cave and the seizure of the smuggled goods would not take place until +the next day. If, in the meanwhile, all the brandy, wine and silk could +be removed from the cave the Customs officers would find no smuggled +goods. There would therefore be no evidence that contraband goods had +been landed or that any smuggling had actually been done. Whatever +suspicions might be entertained there would be no sort of proof. + +"But we can't get the things out of the cave with a policeman on +guard," said Beth. "Unless---- Oh, Jimmy, the hole from the church into +the cave! Could we?" + +"We can," said Jimmy, "if the vicar will let us." + +"I won't have poor darling Timothy mixed up in it," said Mrs. Eames. +"He's never done anything wrong in his life." + +"I don't think this is very wrong," said Beth. + +"It's helping a fraud," said Mrs. Eames, "and that is wrong. What is it +called? Accessory after the fact or something. Anyhow it's wrong and +Timothy mustn't do it. They can arrest me if they like and put me in +prison, but I won't have Timothy dragged into it." + +She put her arm round his neck and stood beside him, her free hand +tightly clenched, the fire of defiance in her eyes. + +"What do you say yourself, sir?" said Jimmy. + +The vicar said nothing for a while. He may have been trying to make +up his mind what he ought to say, or it may have been simply that his +wife's clasp on his neck was so tight as to make speech impossible. + +Jimmy, _advocatus diaboli_ in the matter, put the case for wrong-doing +as strongly as he could. The reputations of many eminent men were +threatened by a scandal from the defilement of which none of them would +ever be able to get wholly clear. The good name of the Church was in +peril. The prospects of a great party in the State were in jeopardy. +Every man, institution or party has enemies. The enemies of religion, +atheists and mockers, would fasten on the bishop and through him would +injure the Church and Christianity itself. The enemies of the State, +socialists and communists, would swarm round Sir Evelyn and work +incalculable mischief. The scandal would give them the opportunity they +wanted. He pleaded earnestly. Beth backed his appeal; but Mrs. Eames's +eyes still flashed righteous indignation and her fist was still tightly +clenched. + +"Agatha, dear, do let me speak," said the vicar in a hoarse whisper. + +Mrs. Eames slightly relaxed her hold on his neck. + +"You've often said," the vicar began addressing his wife, "You've often +said that I would be a better man if----" + +"You couldn't be better, Timothy darling. I've always said that." + +"----that I would be a better man if only I would do something wrong." + +"Timothy, dearest one, I never said that." + +"You did, Aunt Agatha," said Beth. "I've heard you often." + +"I rather think I have, too," said Jimmy, "once or twice." + +"I should like to be a better man," said the vicar. "I've always wished +to be that." + +"And you will be," said Jimmy. "If you help us in this you'll be---- By +Jove! you'll be the best man I've ever met." + +"And it isn't very wrong," said Beth. + +"It isn't wrong at all," said Mary eagerly. "When anyone is wicked +enough to make a law against silk stockings it isn't wrong to break it, +it's right." + +"The wronger it is the better man the vicar will be afterwards," said +Jimmy. "That's what Mrs. Eames says, and she knows." + +"If I ever said any such thing----" said Mrs. Eames. + +"You have," said the vicar. "My dear Agatha, you often have." + +"I may have," said Mrs. Eames unwillingly. "But if I did, I certainly +never meant the sort of wrong thing you could be put in prison for." + +"But he won't be," said Jimmy, "or if he is, we'll all be there with +him." + +"I've always known you were quite right, Agatha, dear," said the vicar +plaintively, "and that I ought to do something wrong. My difficulty was +to find out something that I could do. I really didn't want to restore +a church or write a book about heretics, and nothing else seemed to +offer itself. But now---- Lord Colavon, I'm greatly obliged to you, and +I regard this as just the opportunity I wanted. Agatha dearest, don't +say anything more." + +But that was asking too much of Mrs. Eames. She did say a great deal +more, though nothing to dissuade the vicar from his determination to +pursue the crown of sainthood through the ways of wrong-doing. Having +withdrawn her opposition to Jimmy's plan she flung herself eagerly +into a discussion of the best ways of carrying it out. There were a +great many details to be arranged. Young Bunce's tackle, for instance, +which was still in the church, was plainly insufficient for the work +of hoisting things out of the cave. The rope was not long enough. As +the police were blocking the ordinary entrance to the cave someone +would have to be let down to the cave and afterwards hoisted up. Jimmy +volunteered for the work but objected to trusting his life to young +Bunce's frayed rope. He proposed to buy a new outfit of ropes and +blocks, some materials for the erection of a derrick in the church +and perhaps a windlass. It was regarded as undesirable to make such +purchases in Morriton St. James, where the suspicions of the police +might easily be aroused. Here the Pallas Athene proved its value. With +such a car it would be possible to rush off to Southampton, thence to +Portsmouth, afterwards, if necessary, to Plymouth, places in which such +gear might be purchased, a rope here and a block there, without giving +rise to inquiries. + +There was the question, a much more difficult one, of the disposal of +the smuggled goods after they had been lodged in the church. + +"They can be piled up in the old pew in the chancel," said Mrs. Eames, +"and the curtains drawn. No one ever goes there." + +"But they can't always stay there," said the vicar. "I shouldn't like +the feeling that the church was full of brandy." + +"I don't see how we could possibly take all that stuff away," said +Beth, "or where we could put it if we did." + +Here Mary made a suggestion, though not a very helpful one. + +"I'll carry my stockings away with me," she said, "and I'll take yours, +too, if you like, Beth." + +"Couldn't we leave it to Hinton and Linker to take away their own +things?" said Beth. + +"Certainly not," said Mrs. Eames vindictively. "It was Hinton and +Linker who got us into this trouble, and I'll never agree to their +being rewarded for it." + +"Besides," said Jimmy, "they've both run away and we can't get at them." + +It was, oddly enough, the vicar who hit on the solution of the +difficulty. + +"This is only Tuesday," he said. "As long as the things are taken out +of the church before Sunday it will be all right. Suppose we lower +them all down into the cave again on Friday or Saturday. The Customs +officers will have given up searching by that time." + +"Splendid!" said Beth. "No one ever goes into the cave except you, Aunt +Agatha. I should think the brandy and other things might stay there for +ever without anybody knowing." + +"It does seem a pity about the silk," said Mary. "Such waste." + +"And I did hope----" said Mrs. Eames, with a deep sigh. + +Everyone understood and sympathised with her. She was called upon to +renounce her ambition, to surrender a great hope at the very moment +of fruition. The cave had been advertised by the pageant, would be +re-advertised by the vicar's discovery. Crowds of people would come +to see it. Antiquaries would explore its depths. Picnic parties would +shout hilariously to its echoing walls. Just one effort, scarcely an +effort, merely the allowing of things to take their course and all this +would be realised. Hailey Compton would be famous. Wealth would pour in +upon its inhabitants. A great and glorious work for the village would +be accomplished. But all this, so it seemed, must be given up. The +cave must lapse into a solitude again and the village remain as poor +and primitive as it had ever been. It was a bitter disappointment to +Mrs. Eames; but she bore it bravely, sustained by the thought that her +beloved Timothy was at last doing something, though something in itself +undesirable. + +For the rest of that morning and all the afternoon the Pallas Athene +raced at incredible speeds, east and west on the great main roads of +the south of England. Jimmy, at the steering-wheel, broke record after +record and rejoiced. Beth, beside him, glowed with a satisfaction not +unlike her aunt's. Like the Reverend Timothy Eames, Jimmy, her lover, +was proving himself a worthy man, actually doing something of real +usefulness. He was breaking laws with reckless daring all day long +in order to be able to break other laws all night. But--Beth thrilled +with the thought, he was saving the honour of men and women, the good +name of the church, the constitution of the State, the majesty of the +Empire. + +At ten o'clock that night, Jimmy, seated in the loop of a carefully +tied knot, was lowered slowly, turning giddily round, from the squire's +pew in Hailey Compton church into the profound darkness of the cave +below. Clinging tightly to the rope, paying it out inch by inch were +Mrs. Eames, Mary Lambert, Beth Appleby and the vicar. Their muscles +were tense, their faces set with anxious determination. A distant sound +of rolling stones and a sharp twitching of the rope told them that the +ordeal was safely over. The rope was hauled up again and Beth, with +white face and clenched teeth, took her seat in the loop. She grasped +the rope above her firmly. The descent began. She bumped against the +sides of the hole and was bruised. She grew giddy as the rope swung +round and round. But her courage held. She was received at last in +Jimmy's arms. + +Then began for the whole party a night of desperate toil. Jimmy and +Beth, sweating and half smothered in the close air of the cave, dragged +the bales and cases to the gaping hole. Their fingers bled where the +skin was rubbed off them. Their nails were broken. Their muscles were +strained to utter weariness. Far above them, the vicar, Mrs. Eames +and Mary hauled at the rope. The slowly raised weights seemed to +grow heavier and heavier. They moved uneasily in a space which became +gradually narrowed and less sufficient as bales and cases were piled +up in the square pew. How fortunate that the eighteenth century lord +of the manor, who designed and built the pew, should have liked ample +space for his devotions! He planned largely, a room rather than a pew, +intending perhaps to use the place not only for worship but for just +such purposes as it was used for that night. + +All night long--such are the curious inequalities of the human lot--a +policeman stood at the mouth of the cave. While others toiled, he +wearied of utter idleness. While others gasped for air, the sea breeze +blew round him. While others sweated, he stamped his feet and swung +his arms to keep himself warm. In the new society of which we dream, +for which we strive, things must be better ordered. No longer must +our souls be vexed by the contrast between excessive toil and listless +idleness. + +Yet--and here again we have an instance of the oddness of human +affairs--the leisured policeman, yawning and stretching himself, missed +something which came to the perspiring toilers in the cave--a thrill, +a joy, a rapture which more than compensated for bleeding knuckles, +broken nails and aching limbs. + +The last case was secured in its sling and ascended slowly into the +darkness. The work of the night was finished. In a few minutes Beth +would be following the case, seated in the loop, clinging to the rope. +Then Jimmy would follow her, and after that---- He hoped that Mrs. +Eames had some beer in the vicarage. He believed she had. He thought +she must have. No woman would be so foolish as to forget to have beer +ready at the end of such a night. Beer! Not since the day when Sir +Evelyn first drove down the hill into Hailey Compton had any man wanted +beer so much as Jimmy wanted it then. + +But Beth, it seemed, was not thinking of beer, or even of tea, which +for some women takes the place of beer. + +"Jimmy," she said softly, "do you remember the last time we were here?" + +"Of course I do. A smuggler's ghost threw stones at us." + +"And I said----" + +Beth paused for a while. Then the darkness, a wonderful solvent of +maiden modesty, helped her to go on again. + +"I think I said---- I mean, after you said---- You remember what you +said----" + +"I said what I've been saying for the last two years," said Jimmy. "And +what you said was 'No.'" + +"But I told you why," said Beth. + +"You've always been telling me why." + +"Jimmy," she burst out, "are you going to make me propose to you? +Don't you see, you silly old dear, that that isn't a why any longer? +You've been perfectly splendid to-night. You've thought of things and +done things--and---- Oh, Jimmy, only for you where would everybody be +to-morrow when the horrid Customs officers come to search the cave?" + +Then, though very thirsty, Jimmy forgot about the beer. Ben Jonson, a +dramatist and a poet who knew something about human nature and could +express himself very prettily, says that kisses are to be preferred +sometimes "even to Jove's nectar." Jimmy, tired, sore and grimy, in +a stuffy cave, at the horrible hour of 4 a.m., found them more to be +desired than much beer. + + + + +Chapter XIX + + +A good conscience is a priceless possession. Sir Evelyn had not broken +the laws of his country by bringing into it forbidden things. With +all his admiration for the smugglers of the eighteenth century, whose +lives he studied, it would have been impossible for him to imitate +them. Nor would he willingly have associated with a man who smuggled +anything more than a box of cigars after a trip to the Channel Islands. +The accusation of the egregious Mr. East left Sir Evelyn untroubled. +Some incredibly absurd mistake had been made for which in due time +an apology would be forthcoming. It was impossible that a pageant, in +itself a highly commendable thing--a pageant under the patronage of a +bishop, of a judge, of a man who had been Prime Minister, of Sir Evelyn +Dent--should have been in reality a smuggling raid. Was he to suspect +Mrs. Eames, a transparently honest though too talkative lady, of being +a smuggler? And she had managed the whole affair from the beginning. +Could he think that James Hinton, the very type of superior upper +servant, that Linker, a most respectable shopkeeper with a taste for +politics, had deliberately planned a disgraceful fraud? The idea was +preposterous. And had not his own nephew, Lord Colavon, to whom the +petty gains of illicit trading could be no temptation--had he not been +in command of--had he not actually steered the lugger? + +Someone in a Government office in London had blundered badly, and the +ridiculous, tremulous Mr. East with his ultimatum and his threats could +be forgotten as quickly as possible. + +Nevertheless, Sir Evelyn could not quite forget Mr. East, and after a +while he rose and rang the bell. + +"If Lord Colavon is anywhere about the place," he said, "ask him to be +so good as to come and speak to me here for a few minutes." + +A servant searched for Lord Colavon in the house. A gardener sought him +in the grounds. A man who cleaned the boots and carried coal reported +that the Pallas Athene was not in the garage. It was surmised that Lord +Colavon had not yet returned from the railway station to which he had +conveyed the judge. + +"Very well," said Sir Evelyn, "as soon as he does return ask him to +come here." + +The morning passed, not unpleasantly for Sir Evelyn, who found much to +interest him in the press-cuttings. Luncheon-time came and he ate it +alone. Lord Colavon had not yet returned and the Pallas Athene was not +yet in the garage. The servant, surmising again, suggested that his +lordship might have gone to Hailey Compton to visit the young ladies. +Sir Evelyn thought this very likely, and ate his luncheon peacefully. +Tea-time came, and after that dinner, but Lord Colavon did not appear. +Sir Evelyn was slightly annoyed but not much surprised. His nephew was +a young man of irregular habits. + +The servant, bringing whisky and a siphon into the study at half-past +nine, ventured on a further guess. + +"His lordship's car may have broken down somewhere." + +This, too, seemed probable. + +"Very unreliable, these high-powered cars," said the servant. "So I've +always been led to believe." + +"Don't sit up for him," said Sir Evelyn. "He's not likely to return +to-night. I shall go to bed as usual." + +He did, at the sober hour of eleven o'clock. He was by that time +seriously annoyed and a little uneasy--not because he feared that any +harm had come to his nephew. Whatever might have happened to the car, +Jimmy himself was sure to be safe. Accidents do not happen to that +kind of young man, though they ought to. Yet, Sir Evelyn reflected, it +would have been satisfactory to have heard him deny---- No. It would be +ridiculous to expect a formal denial of Mr. East's accusation. It would +have been satisfactory to have laughed over the matter with his nephew. +To make jokes about it and hear jokes made before going to bed. Yet, in +spite of annoyance, Sir Evelyn slept quietly that night. + +Next morning at eight o'clock he was called and his letters laid beside +him. Sir Evelyn glanced at them as he poured out his tea. There was +a thick bundle of press-cuttings, more comments on the pageant. There +were several circulars. There were one or two bills. There was just one +envelope which looked as if it contained a letter. It came from a very +important political personage, one of those gentlemen whose names do +not appear prominently in the newspapers, who seldom make speeches on +full-dress occasions, but are powerful in the councils of parties and +have a great deal to do with the administration of funds. + +Sir Evelyn opened the envelope with a vague feeling of uneasiness. +The premonition was justified at once. The letter was startling and +disquieting. + + You've no doubt heard the gossip which has been flying round + the clubs for the last two days. I heard it yesterday and + regarded it as nothing but an unusually wild canard. This + morning I was forced to change my opinion. The Inland Revenue + people have, or believe they have, information which points + to the fact that smuggling on a large scale was successfully + carried out at that pageant of yours. By the way, I + congratulate you on the success of the affair. I couldn't + manage to get down to it, but I hear it was brilliant. I + need not say that I do not for a moment suspect you of trying + to defraud the revenue. The suggestion is absurd. But could + anything of the sort have been going on without your knowing + it? That seems difficult to believe; but the Inland Revenue + people are very confident. They say--I have this in strict + confidence--that they know where the smuggled goods are + hidden and can put their hands on them whenever they like. I + need scarcely remind you that the consequences of an exposé + of this kind would be serious. No sane person would believe + that you and the Chief had combined together to smuggle + brandy into the country. But you know the sort of mud that + is slung at Election times--we may be in for one any day + now--and how much of it sticks no matter how carefully we + wash each other's faces. If you can give a perfectly clear + and unqualified denial to the rumour, or accusation, for it + comes to that, please telegraph to me and I'll see that it + gets proper publicity. It won't be the first time that these + permanent officials have turned out to be too clever. But if + by any chance they can prove their case--not against you, but + against anyone connected with your pageant--that is to say, + if they can put their hands on a case of brandy or a dozen of + champagne, then for heaven's sake pacify them in some way. + They're going to give you the chance, I understand. Pay up. + Apologise. Do anything you can; but do not let us have any + publicity. I need scarcely say that I shall pull every string + I can to keep the matter out of the courts, and I'll threaten + any of the papers that have been hinting at it, but I must + know definitely how things stand. + +Sir Evelyn, without waiting to drink his cup of tea, rose and rang the +bell. + +"Is Lord Colavon in the house?" + +"His lordship," said the servant, "is at present in bed. I +understand that he returned about six o'clock this morning. The under +housemaid who was sweeping the hall at the time informed me that his +lordship----" + +"Send him to me at once," said Sir Evelyn. + +"Very good, sir." + +But he did not do so. He returned five minutes later to say that he +found it quite impossible to waken Lord Colavon. + +"I used every endeavour, sir, but his lordship is in a very sound +sleep." + +"Use more endeavours," said Sir Evelyn. "Pour cold water over him if +necessary, but bring him here." + +This time the man was successful. Jimmy, yawning and dishevelled, +walked into his uncle's room in his pyjamas. + +"Read that," said Sir Evelyn, handing him the letter. + +Jimmy, rubbing his eyes occasionally, read it through. + +"Now," said Sir Evelyn, "tell me plainly, is there anything in it?" + +"If you mean the cave, Uncle Evie, there isn't. Not a blessed thing +except stones. They've had three policemen watching the entrance, turn +about, since yesterday, but there isn't a thing in it except stones." + +"Are you perfectly certain about that?" + +"Dead sure thing," said Jimmy. "They can search till they're blue +in the face. I'm told that they're going to search to-day. But they +won't find anything. If I were you, Uncle Evie--of course, it's not my +business to offer advice to you or any other big pot like the johnny +who wrote this letter. But, if I were in your shoes or his, I'd tell +the Customs people to search and be damned. In fact I rather thought of +doing that exact thing myself, meeting them at Hailey Compton when they +turn up and then gloating afterwards. I dare say it would be beneath +your dignity to gloat, except in private. But if you care to run down +with me this morning and watch this blessed search of theirs, I can +promise that you'll be in a position to rub it in afterwards." + +"I won't do that," said Sir Evelyn. "But----" + +"I hardly thought you would. That sort of thing wouldn't suit your +style." + +"But I'll wire a definite denial of the whole story to London," said +Sir Evelyn, "if you give me your assurance that I can do so." + +"Pitch it as strong as you like. Pithy and straight from the shoulder. +Not too long. It only looks as if you'd something to conceal if you go +spreading yourself over five bob's worth of telegram. My idea would be +'Damned lies,' or words to that effect." + +"I hope you really are perfectly certain, Jimmy," said Sir Evelyn. +"This is a serious business. If it turns out afterwards that you're +mistaken--if they find so much as one case of brandy----" + +"They won't," said Jimmy. "I'll make over the Pallas Athene to an idiot +asylum for the use of the inmates if they find anything worse than a +half smoked cigarette in that cave." + +"You'd know--you'd be certain to know if----" + +"I steered the old lugger myself," said Jimmy, "and I know all there is +to know about what happened." + + + + +Chapter XX + + +From a very early hour in the morning a sense of impending disaster +hung over the village of Hailey Compton. The older Bunce stood at +his cottage door with a sulky scowl on his face. The members of the +lugger's crew, morose and anxious men, sought comfort at the Anchor +Inn. They found the two policemen who were not on duty at the cave, +and went away again uncomforted. The younger Bunce, Tommy Whittle, +and others who had taken part in landing the cargo, wandered about +disconsolate and miserable. No one knew what was going to happen. +James Hinton, from whom it was natural to seek advice, had disappeared +and no one knew where he had gone. There was some talk, low growling +talk, about sending a deputation to the vicarage to ask Mrs. Eames +for advice, or information, or anything else she might be inclined to +give. No one believed that Mrs. Eames's advice would be any use, or her +information the least reliable; but it would have been a comfort even +to hear her talk. + +At ten o'clock Gladys hurried down from the vicarage to visit her +aunt. She reported excitedly that Mrs. Eames was still in bed and fast +asleep, that the two young ladies were in bed so sound asleep that no +noise wakened them. The village felt that its last prop and stay had +been removed and settled down into gloomy silence. + +Shortly before twelve o'clock the Pallas Athene, hooting constantly, +came down the hill, and the sight of Jimmy's face, smiling and +confident, brought a momentary cheerfulness to the village. But behind +the Pallas Athene, close behind it, came another car, and in it, very +soon discernible by the anxious eyes of the watchers, were men in +uniform, that neat, half naval uniform of customs officers. The gloom +of undefined dread settled down on everyone again. Old Bunce growled +sulky curses. Younger men muttered threats, which they knew they dare +not fulfil. Only Jimmy offered the officers any kind of welcome, but +his manner made amends for the sullen hostility of everyone else. +He was gay and jocular. He handed round his cigar case. He suggested +draughts of beer to be drawn at his expense. He offered to act as guide +to the cave. He accompanied the party along the street, over the green +and across the loose white stones of the beach. + +He would have gone with them into the cave but was stopped. The +senior officer fully appreciated Jimmy's courtesy and friendliness. No +Englishman is indifferent to the friendliness of an earl, and Jimmy had +introduced himself. But no Englishman, when on duty, will allow even an +earl the smallest privilege. Duty, especially duty done in uniform, is +a very sacred thing. Jimmy was obliged to wait outside at the mouth of +the cave. + +He waited there for half an hour and smoked four cigarettes. He waited +there another half-hour, smoking a pipe instead of cigarettes. After +an hour and a half he sent the mentally deficient Whittle, the only +villager who ventured near the cave, back to the Anchor Inn for beer. +While he was drinking the beer the officers appeared again. + +"Interesting place that cave," said Jimmy cheerfully. "Did you find +anything inside?" + +"You'll excuse my reminding you, my lord," said the senior officer, +"that what we found and what we didn't find is no affair of yours." + +"Of course not," said Jimmy. "Have a cigarette and some beer. You must +want beer." + +The senior officer did want beer. So did the others, all four of them. +Jimmy's manner was engaging, and Jimmy, after all, was a real earl. + +"Duty is duty, my lord," said the officer apologetically. + +"And duty when done," said Jimmy, "deserves beer." + +That was true, and duty when done permits of the relaxation of official +dignity. The beer in Jimmy's jug was finished, and Whittle, grinning +foolishly, fetched some more. That was drunk. Jimmy's cigarettes were +finished. The senior officer thawed into a confidence. + +"I didn't never expect to find anything in the cave, my lord, not me. +It stands to reason that gentlemen like yourself and Sir Evelyn Dent +wouldn't be trying those sort of tricks. But duty is duty." + +"It is," said Jimmy, "always was, and I hope always will be." + +"And when I got my orders, my lord, I obeyed them. But, in a manner +of speaking, I knew pretty well we were after a mare's nest. The +fellow that sent the information from France--well, I never did trust +foreigners much, and of course it's from foreigners that sort of +information mostly comes." + + + + +Chapter XXI + + +James Hinton waited in Paramé for three weeks anxiously expecting news +from Hailey Compton. When he got none he supposed, quite rightly, that +nothing sensational had happened and that he was in no danger of arrest +and imprisonment. He returned to the Anchor Inn and now carries on his +business there as courteously and efficiently as before. + +But James Hinton is a changed man. He has suffered disillusion. +He speaks, with mysterious nods, and often in whispers, of a great +financial loss which once fell on him. He goes into no details, but +hints that he, an innocent and confiding man, was swindled by people +whom he thought he could trust. He very nearly, but not quite, gave me +his confidence when I was in Hailey Compton a fortnight ago and had a +chat with him over a glass of beer. + +"You wouldn't think, sir," he said, "that a lady like Mrs. Eames, +a vicar's wife, would have stooped to such meanness. Though of +course, Mrs. Eames does not belong to that class in which I have been +accustomed to live, as a servant, you understand, sir. But I did think +that his lordship, the present earl, would have been above it. The +late earl would never have done such a thing. But there---- It's better +not to talk about it. I can put up with the loss. It isn't that I mind +most, but I've been a believer in our aristocracy all my life and it's +a sad thing--a knock out, sir, if you'll allow me to express myself +in such a way--a blow to my faith, sir, to find that----" He sighed +heavily. "But I'd rather say no more about it, sir, if you'll excuse +me." + +Mr. Linker, who also returned to his business after a time, spoke much +more plainly, and I regret to say more bitterly, when I called on him +under pretext of buying some socks. + +"I don't set up to be a gentleman myself," he said, "but I say that +if a man is a gentleman he ought to behave as such. And that's what +some gentlemen I know didn't do. I don't care to go into details. It +wouldn't suit a man in my position to talk too much about the matter. +But when a gentleman like Lord Colavon takes advantage of my temporary +absence from home to convert to his own use property with regard to +which he occupied a fiduciary position---- As for the lady associated +with him--I refer to Mrs. Eames--well, I always was a Nonconformist, +and if that is the sort of conduct we are to expect from the wives of +the clergy of the Church of England, I shall remain a Nonconformist. I +don't want to be accused of setting up too high a standard of conduct, +but I do think that common honesty might have been expected of a lady +in Mrs. Eames's position." + +It was scarcely possible to miss the point of these reproaches. James +Hinton and Linker believed that Mrs. Eames and Lord Colavon, probably +Beth and Mary, possibly the vicar (I am not sure that Sir Evelyn +escaped suspicion) had combined together to secure for their own use +the whole cargo smuggled into Hailey Compton. Mrs. Eames and the girls +were supposed to be wearing silk which belonged to Mr. Linker. Jimmy +and the vicar--perhaps Sir Evelyn--were drinking Hinton's brandy +and champagne. And the law--this was the hardest thing about the +case--offered no redress to the injured men. + +Old Bunce and his friends, indeed the whole village, believe just what +Hinton and Linker do. There is naturally a little soreness, for the +village had looked forward to a share of the spoil. But there is no +deep resentment. Mrs. Eames has even risen in everybody's opinion. She +is more respected than she used to be and Lord Colavon is regarded as +an exceedingly clever man. + +"To look at him," said old Bunce, "you wouldn't think there was much +in him. And as for Mrs. Eames, anybody would think she was silly--what +with her plays and her nonsense, just as silly as they make them. I was +wrong about that, and I'm not one to be ashamed of owning up when I am +wrong. That young fellow with the motor-car, Lord Colavon or whatever +his name is, is as smart as paint, and Mrs. Eames isn't a fool, not by +any manner of means." + +Mrs. Eames, who knows exactly what is said and thought about her, feels +her position acutely, and is trying to induce her husband to seek an +exchange to some other parish. She cannot defend herself by telling the +truth. To do that would be to invite raids on the cave with all sorts +of evil results. She has, for many years, been doing all in her power +for the village. She has devoted her unusual powers of mind and body to +the service of the people of Hailey Compton, and now---- + +"It's very hard to bear," she said to me. "Not that I mind for myself. +I don't, not a bit. But it's cruel to have poor darling Timothy +misunderstood. Especially just when he really has done something for +the village at last." + +Jimmy, with whom I had a chance of talking the matter over yesterday, +takes a different line. + +"They think that of me, do they? By Jove!" he said. "Well, I dare say +it's just as well they do. Unless they were satisfied that I had the +stuff safely tucked away somewhere they'd go on searching for it till +they found it. But, look here, you know, if I'm to be regarded as a +thief I may as well do something to deserve it. I don't want to upset +your aunt, Beth"--the Countess, looking very charming, was present +during our talk--"and I wouldn't worry your uncle for the world, but +as soon as they're safely out of Hailey Compton I'll go and get hold of +that brandy. The silk will be ruined, of course, but the brandy will be +all right, and I expect I could manage to hoist it up into the church +again." + +"Jimmy," said the Countess anxiously, "you wouldn't steal that brandy, +would you?" + +"Not for my own use," said Jimmy. "My idea would be to send it +anonymously to the bishop for distribution among the country clergy. +Those poor fellows must want cheering up and they get little enough +of it. Just think of what your uncle Timothy's life would have been if +he hadn't happened to marry your aunt. And there can't be many vicars' +wives like her. That's why I think a few bottles of brandy and a dozen +or so of fizz would be good for them. Their lives want brightening. +Besides, the bishop would enjoy distributing it. He's a most benevolent +old boy, and we owe him something. Uncle Evie told me he was in a +dreadful state when he heard about the smuggling." + + +THE END + + + + +Hodder & Stoughton + +Some New and Forthcoming Novels + + +THE DANCING FLOOR + +By JOHN BUCHAN, author of "John Macnab," "Greenmantle," etc. + +Sir Edward Leithen, who played a leading rôle in "John Macnab," gained +the confidence of a young Englishman, haunted all his life by a dream, +and of a girl, the heiress to a Greek island, whose quixotic sense of +honour made her face alone a great peril. The inseverable connection +between the destinies of the two, with the high test to which the +courage of each was put, makes a great love story, a stirring, original +adventure, and a fine study of modern youth. + + +HALF A SOVEREIGN + +By IAN HAY, author of "A Knight on Wheels," "Paid with Thanks," etc. + +Colonel Leslie Miles, naturally bashful and none too surely recovered +from shell-shock, accepts the hospitality of Sir James Rumborough, +his lawyer, and finds himself, much against his will, included in a +yachting party of dull, cranky, and otherwise uncompanionable people, +for a cruise in the Mediterranean. During the cruise, in which the +sites of ancient cities are visited, he finds himself reconstructing +the old barbaric scenes as if he were himself a living part of them. It +is all very embarrassing for Leslie, but it is when he gets in touch +with Dido Queen of Carthage, who for the occasion assumes the body of +the youthful widow, Mrs. Hatton, with whom he is in love, that his real +troubles begin. + + +THE PROPER PLACE + +By O. DOUGLAS, author of "The Setons," "Pink Sugar," etc. + +A story of the New Poor and the New Rich. Lady Jane Rutherford and her +daughter, who sold their beautiful home in the Borders, and Mr. and +Mrs. Jackson of Glasgow, who bought it, and struggled to live up to it, +are some of the living characters that O. Douglas knows so well how to +draw, and of whom she writes with such humour, pathos, and philosophy. + + +WORD OF HONOUR + +Stories by "SAPPER," author of "Bull-Dog Drummond," "The Final Count," +etc. + +"Sapper" on top of his form. Here is another glorious volume of +stories by the author of "Bull-Dog Drummond." Its note is swift drama, +culminating into seeming irresistible crisis. More marked than ever is +"Sapper's" peculiar attribute, whereby trivialities assume such potency +in his hands that a tin of seccotine that didn't "stick" proves a far +more dynamic weapon than all the knives and blunderbusses that ever +draped the most bloody-minded buccaneer. A camera, boiling springs +of Solfatara, an avenging Mamba, "a matter of voice," all play their +volcanic rôles; and though there is never a word too many, there is +always a story too little in a "Sapper" collection. + + +LITTLE MRS. MANINGTON + +By CECIL ROBERTS, author of "Scissors," "Sails of Sunset," etc. + +Disaster was prophesied for the marriage of Richard Manington, a young +English politician, with an American heiress. But Manington knew deep +in his heart that he had not married for money, as Helen knew she had +not married for position. Yet both these adjuncts of their love-match +are there. The situation is subjected to Mr. Roberts' searching powers +of analysis; the scenes have all his wizardry of description; while the +dominating note is the sympathetic treatment of the actions and motives +of enchanting Mrs. Manington. + + +THE PIGEON HOUSE + +By VALENTINE WILLIAMS author of "The Man with the Club-foot," "The Red +Mass," "Mr. Ramosi," etc. + +Rex Garrett, rising young painter and adventurous soul, who once served +in the Foreign Legion, vanishes on the night of his wedding to Sally +Candlin, a beautiful American girl, companion to Marcia Greer, a rich +widow. Mrs. Greer took Sally from a New York dressmaker's, but lets +Rex think that his bride is an heiress. Sally lacks the courage to +speak the truth until their wedding night, and immediately after her +confession Rex disappears. Mystery is piled on mystery: thrill treads +on the heels of thrill. As in all Valentine Williams's novels real +people carry the tale along. + + +PRODIGALS OF MONTE CARLO + +By E. PHILLIPS OPPENHEIM, author of "The Golden Beast," "Stolen Idols," +etc. + +Mr. Oppenheim is still "the Prince of Storytellers" and "Prodigals of +Monte Carlo" is a princely story with a real Oppenheim plot and a real +Oppenheim thrill. After a nasty toss in the hunting field Sir Hargrave +Wendever consulted a heart specialist who implied that the Baronet +might have only six or eight months more to live. Asking three of his +friends hypothetically what each would do under the circumstances, he +was told that one would try to execute a spectacular financial coup, +another would spend the time in continuous pleasure at Monte Carlo, +and a third would endeavour to make happy some people who could not be +reached by ordinary charity. Sir Hargrave vowed to do all three. + + +THE SQUARE EMERALD + +By EDGAR WALLACE, author of "The Crimson Circle," etc. + +The three sisters Druze, around whom Mr. Wallace's amazing new book +revolves, could not be described as living a quiet, normal life. +They formed themselves into a gang for the fulfilment of multifarious +activities not unconnected with forging, blackmail, impersonations, +and anything that led to money and excitement. How the identity of +these three enterprising women is established and their questionable +proceedings laid bare by a slip of a girl detective forms an absorbing +mystery story, bristling with the unexpected from start to finish. + + +SEA WHISPERS + +By W. W. JACOBS, author of "Captains All," "Ship's Company," etc., with +illustrations by BERT THOMAS. + +A new volume of the inimitable stories which have made Mr. Jacobs +famous all over the world. It is some years now since Mr. Jacobs +has added to the world's humour and gaiety with such a volume, +and we feel sure the night watchman and his friends--longshore and +others--will make a triumphal return. It is impossible to imitate Mr. +Jacobs--he has no imitators. His fun and his laughter are unique. The +delicious illustrations of Mr. Bert Thomas do justice even to "Jacobs" +characters. + + +THE UNDERSTANDING HEART + +By PETER B. KYNE, author of "Cappy Ricks," "The Pride of Palomar," etc. + +A tale of the early mining days in the West. "The Understanding Heart" +tells of a man who braved persecution, and it records a wonderful love +story and a deathless friendship. + + +RACHEL + +By BEATRICE HARRADEN, author of "Spring Shall Plant," etc. + +The "roving spirit" possessed Rachel, and she abandoned husband +and family. She left consternation and fear of a scandal behind her +among an array of relations, and Mrs. Harraden has some good-tempered +fun at their expense. Rachel's husband narrowly escaped "designing" +housekeepers, his Victorian sister was with difficulty prevented from +practising her good works on the home. Meanwhile Rachel went her way, +and her motives and justification receive keen-sighted and sympathetic +treatment. + + +YESTERDAY'S HARVEST + +By MARGARET PEDLER, author of "The Vision of Desire," etc. + +The consequences of an unpremeditated theft and a chivalrous gesture +belonging to the past cropped up again in the present. A new name, it +appeared, did not give a new lease of life. Yesterday's harvest stood +unreaped between Blair Maitland and Elizabeth when Elizabeth's father +knew his story and refused him her hand in marriage. A tale of such +romance, such dramatic intensity, and withal such dignity that it will +be second to none among Mrs. Pedler's vibrant, enthralling books. + + +THE VOICE OF DASHIN + +By "GANPAT," author of "Harilek," etc. + +A fresh, fascinating book of adventure and action, picturesquely and +vividly set in the Hinterlands of the Karakorum. In plot and in scene +this travelled author departs from the beaten track. His City of +Fairy Towers, fantastic though gruesome, the delightfully colloquial +relations of the two young British officers who find their way thither, +an unusual love interest (and all of it set off with a capital sense +of fun), these are some of the elements in an up-to-date, adventurous +romance of an unusual character. + + +WHAT IS TO BE + +By J. C. SNAITH, author of "Thus Far," etc. + +A romance of chivalrous adventure, moving surely towards its +fore-ordained conclusion. John Rede Chandos married Ysa, an exiled +young queen. Subsequent developments found him a Prince Consort in +a European State, feeling slightly ridiculous and consistently, +though gallantly, out of his depth. He tells his own story, in a +self-deprecating, humorous manner, from the moment when he left his +lawyer's office until the last phase, on a mountain-top, of "a battle +he was born to lose." + + +THE SMUGGLER'S CAVE + +By GEORGE A. BIRMINGHAM, author of "The Search Party," "Spanish Gold," +etc. + +This is the story of the Hailey Compton Village Pageant. The people +who organised it, the vicar's wife and the local innkeeper, were +unknown to fame. It had, at first, little or no backing in the press or +aristocratic patronage. It was started in a casual, a most accidental +way. Yet the Hailey Compton Pageant excited England from end to end, +set every club in London gossiping, inspired a spate of articles in the +daily papers, gravely affected the reputation of one of our oldest and +most honoured families, and went near wrecking the prospects of one of +our historic political parties. + + +THE BLACK HUNTER + +JAMES OLIVER CURWOOD + +First Reviews: "James Oliver Curwood, one of the best of the romantic +translators of the life of the Canadian wilderness, has given us a +fine historical novel.... His tale is a great love story, strongly +dramatic in its episodes, and the fight at the end of the book +is Homeric."--_Liverpool Daily Courier._ "This stirring novel.... +This story of the tragic love of David Rock and Anne St. Denis and +the treachery of the Intendent Bigot makes a memorable period live +again."--_Daily Mail._ "An historical novel of much distinction. It +takes us back to the days when old Quebec was in the hands of the +French, and when the great struggle between French and English was +about to begin.... Mr. Curwood has given us an informative, thrilling +and finely written book."--_Edinburgh Evening News._ + + +DAVID WILDING + +By RICHMAL CROMPTON, author of "The House," "The Wildings," etc. + +Another friendly and humorous inquiry into the family life of the +Wildings, handled with a touch so deft that the Wildings will be +recognised in many a home. David's problem had become acute, with a +wife who flaunted the family tradition, and a baby at whose christening +and subsequent receptions all sorts of incompatible Wildings had +to meet. There are rebellions and declarations of independence. But +David's mother never lost her hold on the situation. + + +THE AMAZING CHANCE + +By PATRICIA WENTWORTH, author of "The Black Cabinet," "The Dower House +Mystery," etc. + +Anton Blum, a deaf and dumb German peasant, came to after an accident, +and spoke--in English. He gave conclusive evidence that he was a +Laydon, though changed beyond recognition. But which of the supposedly +dead brothers he proved to be; whether he knew himself; and whether +Evelyn, who had married Jim Laydon, could tell, makes a most romantic, +enthralling problem, at whose solution the reader is kept guessing all +the time. + + +THE PLANTER OF THE TREE + +By RUBY M. AYRES, author of "The Man the Women Loved," "The Marriage +Handicap," etc + +Philip Sanderson, a "waster" who spends his days in third-rate London +clubs and cabarets, is in love with a dancer, Sally Lingfield, who +cares nothing for him, but loves another man who is only amusing +himself at her expense. One night, when the worse for drink, Philip +knocks her down with his car, hopelessly crippling her so that she will +never be able to dance again. The shock sobers him and brings all his +better nature to the front. + + +THREE PEOPLE + +By MABEL BARNES-GRUNDY, author of "Sleeping Dogs," etc. + +For this most fascinating story Mabel Barnes-Grundy has created "three +people" who will remain clear and distinct in the minds and memories +of her readers. All the beauty of the love and devotion which can +bind together a brother and sister shines forth from the pages of this +book. Then two people become three people. There steps into the lives +of this brother and sister, a man, a German by birth, but with the +blood of his English grandmother in his veins. Ronnie has a hatred of +Germans amounting almost to an obsession. He has sworn an oath that +never--knowingly--will he speak to a German again. The story works up +to a dramatic climax; the atmosphere is delightful. There is wit and +sparkle in the conversation. + + +THE STRANGE FAMILY + +By E. H. LACON WATSON. + +Here is a chronicle of rare charm. It has about it the unsensational +suggestion of authenticity. In quiet fashion it relates the early +years of the children of a country rector. It gives an amusing +picture of types and incidents in a village community. It passes with +Rudolf Strange to Cambridge and becomes an illuminating record of the +University in the 'eighties. A penetrating observation of character and +period. + + +THE THIRD MESSENGER + +By PATRICK WYNNTON, author of "The Black Turret." + +Trapped in a thieves' den, shut in with the corpse of a former victim, +with death imminent, Hugh Carr, in his extremity, promises Providence +that if he escapes he will make his life a worthier thing. In "The +Third Messenger" Patrick Wynnton relates the result of that promise. +For Providence gives Carr his chance, and gives her chance also to +Kitty Magen, the luxury-sickened daughter of a millionaire. The final +triumphant pageant of courage and love unconquered--all go to make this +swift, keen story a more than worthy successor to "The Black Turret." + + +OUT OF THESE THINGS + +By JAMES A. MORLEY. + +The title of this novel, "Out of These Things," is actually an +adaptation of a quotation from Hugh Walpole's works--"Of these things +... cometh the making of man,"--and it really fits the story, a story +which has to do with the affairs of youth and age--a twelve-year-old +and a man in love, scientific research and a secret passage, etc. +There is a great deal of truth to human nature, and of sincerity to the +influences of scenery in this book. The very inconclusiveness of its +ending gives it a plausibility, and artistry which a more conventional +finale would not exhibit. It has literary style and is a story of +unusual character, of fine quality. "Out of These Things" is a first +novel, very strongly endorsed by an eminent literary authority, and its +author should have a great future. + + +THE PENDULUM + +By MRS. BURNETT-SMITH. + +This story is an intimate and considered study of the growth, +development and extraordinary phases of experience through which so +many individuals and families had to pass during the most testing +years of British history. It is told in the form of a woman's diary, +and presents a vivid picture, both of family life and that deeper, +more intimate life of the heart which is the determining factor in the +majority of lives. + + +BEVIL GRANVILLE'S HANDICAP + +By JOSEPH HOCKING, author of "The Wagon and the Star," etc. + +Bevil Granville, a young fellow of good name and a fine, generous +nature, is accused of forgery and embezzlement. At the end of seven +years of penal servitude he had become hard, sullen, cruel, vindictive. +His one thought on leaving prison was to find out the person who had +really committed the deed for which he was punished and to wreak his +revenge. The narrative describes in a series of quick moving events his +endeavours to discover the guilty person, the forces which were brought +to bear on his life, his love and his hatred, the battle between +good and evil and the final result of his schemes. There are fine +descriptions of Cornish scenes and Cornish life and character, with all +their simplicity and charm. + + +HER PIRATE PARTNER + +By BERTA RUCK, author of "The Pearl Thief," "The Dancing Star," etc. + +Miss Berta Ruck states the case for a girl of to-day who is restricted +by a Victorian guardian's opinion that a good home should be enough. +Young men and outside friends were _taboo_. How Dorothea took the +law into her own hands, how she was extricated from a series of +difficulties, makes a delightful story that is modern in the best sense +of the word. + + +IT HAPPENED IN PEKIN + +By LOUISE JORDAN MILN, author of "In a Shantung Garden," etc. + +Another opportunity for Western eyes to see a little farther, penetrate +a little deeper into the mysterious heart of China. The brilliant +author of "Ruben and Ivy Sen" wields a searchlight which falls direct +upon Chinese traditions and customs, joys and sorrows, hopes and fears. + + +MASTER VORST + +By "SEAMARK," author of "Love's Enemy," "The Silent Six," etc. + +Somewhere along the River, down past the Pool, the Death Maker has +a laboratory--a germ-farm crawling alive with all the most hideous +disease cultures you can think of. The maker of death has cultivated +enough sudden death in this germ-farm to wipe out London in a night, +and all Britain in a week. As we follow the intrepid Maine through +the inner heart of Chinatown, there comes a feeling that sandbags +descending from upper windows upon the passer-by are by no means +beyond the range of possibility. It is all very well done--very +convincing--and the reader will give thanks for Scotland Yard and men +like Kellard Maine. + + +THE DESERT THOROUGHBRED + +By JACKSON GREGORY, author of "Desert Valley." "The Wilderness Trail," +etc. + +In Jackson Gregory's latest and greatest story two lonely souls on +their respective oases--widely separated by miles of burning desert +sand--found one another after much adventure and tribulation. They came +within an ace of disaster and death; Lasalle, outcast from his fellow +men for a supposed murder, Camilla, bereft of protection, wandering in +the desert. A powerful drama of the open spaces. + + +THE D'ARBLAY MYSTERY + +By R. AUSTIN FREEMAN, author of "The Red Thumb-mark," "The Singing +Bone," etc. + +The discovery of a murdered man; the criminal unknown; the complete +absence of clues; everything, in fact, which brings Thorndyke into his +own, opens this absorbing mystery. He accumulates unnoticed evidence +in his best manner, and leads his investigations up to a startling +_dénouement_, which comes as a complete surprise. + + +SECRET HARBOUR + +By STEWART EDWARD WHITE, author of "Arizona Nights," etc. + +"X. Anaxagoras, Healer of Souls," found that his cure for indifference +to life must be repeated on his brother-in-law, Roger Marshall. +So he prescribed strenuous living and furious excitement. In that +extraordinary and mysterious manner of his, he got to work, and +deciding that Marshall would benefit by becoming a criminal, he +arranged a neat crime for him. Stewart Edward White, whose own life +has consisted mainly of action and excitement, has surpassed himself in +this story of adventure in Canadian waters. + + +COUSIN JANE + +By HARRY LEON WILSON, author of "Ruggles of Red Gap," etc. + +Harry Leon Wilson's humour and charm find new and productive investment +in "Cousin Jane." She was a young woman ill-suited to settle down among +relatives who lived on the departed glory of a Californian fortune made +in the 'sixties. Jane had inherited something of the pioneer spirit +which found that fortune, and she salved something of the wrecked +estate and gained for herself a place in the new age which had come +while she worked. + + +THE LAW OF THE TALON + +By LOUIS TRACY, author of "The Gleave Mystery," etc. + +A wonderfully absorbing story, which opens in the Hudson Bay district +and is played out in the Scottish Highlands, with all their weird +colour and eerie charm. To secure his cousin's fiancée Eileen, and +the succession to Inverlochtie, which should go to Lord Oban's son, +John Panton, the specious Alastair had bribed Sergeant Ferdinand +Conington to drug his superior officer just before an engagement. +Court-martialled as a drunkard and a coward, Panton is cast off by his +father, and for seven years he disappears. But news percolates at last +even to Hudson Bay, and, accompanied by his only friend, the Canadian +husky, "Spot," Panton dashes homewards in the hope of saving the woman +he loves from a disastrous marriage. + + +THE PASSIONLESS QUEST + +By CHARLES CANNELL, author of "The Guardian of the Cup." + +John Francis Algernon de Courci Delourede, one of the Worcestershire +Delouredes, comes up against something new--a girl, little more +than a school-girl, to whom his wealth and influence make no appeal! +Elsie Farrar goes straight to the heart not only of John, but also of +every reader who starts out to follow her on the "passionless quest." +Enriquez is a sheer delight; and the famous trio, Mackenzie, Martin +Kent, and Wally Evans, are men who forge ahead and get things done +in that quiet and undemonstrative fashion which we like to regard as +wholly British. + + + HODDER & STOUGHTON LTD. PUBLISHERS + WARWICK SQUARE :: :: LONDON E.C.4 + + + + + * * * * * * + + + + +Transcriber's note: + +Inconsistent hyphenation and spelling in the original document have +been preserved. + +Obvious typographical errors have been corrected. + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 44752 *** |