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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 44752 ***
+
+Note: Images of the original pages are available through
+      Internet Archive. See
+      https://archive.org/details/smugglerscave00birmuoft
+
+
+Transcriber's note:
+
+      Text enclosed by underscores is in italics (_italics_).
+
+      The book has an extra Chapter XIV following Chapter XV
+      (i.e., the chapter sequence is XIV, XV, XIV, XVI). The
+      numbering has been left as printed.
+
+
+
+
+
+THE SMUGGLERS' CAVE
+
+
+      *      *      *      *      *      *
+
+     NOVELS BY
+     GEORGE A. BIRMINGHAM
+
+     THE SMUGGLERS' CAVE
+     GOODLY PEARLS
+     THE GUN RUNNERS
+     THE GRAND DUCHESS
+     KING TOMMY
+     SEND FOR DR. O'GRADY
+     GENERAL JOHN REGAN
+     THE MAJOR'S NIECE
+     HYACINTH
+     BENEDICT KAVANAGH
+
+     HODDER AND STOUGHTON
+     LIMITED      LONDON
+
+      *      *      *      *      *      *
+
+
+THE SMUGGLERS' CAVE
+
+by
+
+GEORGE A. BIRMINGHAM
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Hodder and Stoughton
+Limited     London
+
+Made and Printed in Great Britain by Wyman & Sons Ltd.,
+London, Reading and Fakenham
+
+
+
+
+An Introduction
+
+_Meant to make easy the task of those who review novels without reading
+them and to awaken the interest of others who read novels without
+reviewing them._
+
+
+This is the story of the Hailey Compton Village Pageant.
+
+Pageants, good and bad, great and small, were commonplace affairs a few
+years ago. Every summer half a dozen of them were widely advertised and
+probably a dozen more ran blameless courses unnoticed except by those
+who took part in them. They were started by enthusiasts, worked up by
+energetic committees, kept within the bounds of historic possibility
+by scholarly experts. They came and went, amused a few people, bored a
+great many and left not a trace of their brief existence behind them.
+
+The Hailey Compton Pageant was staged in a small unimportant village.
+The people who organised it, the vicar's wife and the local innkeeper,
+were unknown to fame. It had, at first, no backing in the press except
+a few paragraphs slipped into provincial papers by Miss Beth Appleby, a
+young journalist of promise but small attainment. It had, at first, no
+aristocratic patronage, except the half-hearted support of Sir Evelyn
+Dent. It began in a casual, almost accidental way.
+
+Yet the Hailey Compton Pageant excited England from end to end,
+set every club in London gossiping, inspired a spate of articles in
+the daily papers, smirched the reputation of an earl and went near
+wrecking, at the next General Election, the prospects of a prominent
+statesman.
+
+Such are the tricks which destiny, a sportive imp, plays with human
+affairs. An elderly gentleman, in search of local colour for a
+perfectly innocent book, visits a remote village. An energetic lady
+with a taste for theatricals seizes an opportunity for getting up a
+show. An innkeeper, civil to every one and anxious to be obliging to
+all possible patrons, sees a chance of making a little money.
+
+What could possibly be less important? Yet out of the activities of
+these people rose one of the most widely discussed scandals of our
+time.
+
+
+
+
+Chapter I
+
+
+It has been said, somewhat bitterly, that the whole south coast of
+England is now one prolonged watering-place, very horrible because
+very popular. The bitterness is excusable, but the saying is an
+exaggeration. There are still some places unvisited by chars-à-bancs
+and excursionists, undiscovered, or at all events unused by those who
+"take the kiddies to the sea" for August.
+
+Hailey Compton is a village which until the other day escaped the curse
+of popularity. Its good fortune was due partly to the fact that there
+are no houses or lodgings in it suitable for letting. Nor can any be
+built for there is no room for building. The village lies in a narrow
+nook between high cliffs and all the ground is already occupied by
+fishermen's cottages, with their patches of garden, the church, the
+vicarage, and the Anchor Inn. It is also--and this helps to account for
+its escape from the general fate--very difficult of access. The only
+approach to it is by a steep, sharply twisting lane, with a surface
+of abominable roughness. Horses descend with extreme difficulty and
+climb up again only if they are very strong. Motorists shrink from
+the hairpin bends and the blinding high banks between which the lane
+zigzags. Even chars-à-bancs drivers, the gallant swashbucklers of our
+modern traffic, never venture to take their clients to Hailey Compton.
+
+Nevertheless a car crept down the hill one warm, May morning, a
+light car, driven by an elderly man who sat alone in it. He went
+very cautiously, his engine responding to its lowest gear, his
+foot pressed on the brake pedal, his hands clutching the steering
+wheel convulsively. This was Sir Evelyn Dent, and the car was a new
+possession which he had only just learned to drive, indeed had not yet
+learned to drive without nervousness. The age of sixty-five is rather
+late in life for acquiring so difficult an art as motor driving.
+
+Sir Evelyn bought this car after the fall of the Government, when he
+ceased to be a Cabinet Minister. He might not have bought it even then,
+if he had not lost his seat in Parliament in the disastrous General
+Election which followed the resignation of the Prime Minister. While
+still in office, with a salary of some thousands a year to cover
+expenses, Sir Evelyn owned a large car and was driven about by a
+competent chauffeur. Having lost his salary and having no longer any
+official expenses he economised by buying a small car and driving it
+himself. The plan had certain advantages. He could go driving where he
+pleased and when. Previously he had gone where the chauffeur, a very
+superior man, thought a Cabinet Minister ought to go at hours which he
+regarded as suitable.
+
+The lane twisted on, the gradient becoming steeper and the surface
+worse. Sir Evelyn ventured from time to time to raise his strained
+eyes from the road immediately in front of him and glance at the
+roofs of the houses which lay below, and the sea, blue and sparkling,
+below them. Each time he looked the roofs and the sea seemed a little
+nearer, which cheered him; but the descent still twisted before him. He
+began to wonder whether his nerves would remain under control until he
+reached the bottom. Sweat broke out on his forehead and trickled into
+his eyes, cold sweat. His hands on the wheel were moist and cold. On
+the other hand--such are the compensations which nature arranges--the
+inside of his mouth became perfectly dry, so that it was painful to
+swallow. Yet he had to swallow each time he crawled round one of the
+blind corners and found nothing on the other side.
+
+There was much excuse for Sir Evelyn's nervousness. A highly skilled
+driver would have disliked the hill. Sir Evelyn was a novice. A
+reckless youth would have hesitated over it. Sir Evelyn was sixty-five
+and most unwilling to throw away the few years of life remaining to
+him. It is greatly to his credit and a proof of the fine qualities
+which had raised him to the position of Cabinet Minister that he
+reached the bottom of the hill safely. Passing a row of fishermen's
+cottages, he crawled, not daring to change gear, till he came to the
+Anchor Inn. There he stopped. A board, either new or newly painted,
+announced that James Hinton was licensed to sell beer, spirits and
+tobacco.
+
+Sir Evelyn passed the tip of a dry tongue across a dry lip. At the
+moment it seemed to him that beer, even the poorest, thinnest beer, any
+beer at all, was the best thing the world contained. He left his car
+and went into the tap-room.
+
+Had Sir Evelyn been capable for the moment of any feeling except a
+desire for beer he would have been surprised at the tap-room of the
+Anchor Inn in Hailey Compton. Instead of reeking stuffily of stale
+beer, the place was fresh, cool and pleasant. Instead of a soiled
+floor, were clean polished boards. Instead of a messy counter and
+stained tables there was shining cleanliness. Not such are English inns
+in remote villages. Though thirsty Sir Evelyn could not help noticing
+the landlord when he came in. He was not in the least the landlord who
+might have been expected in such a village. He came from an inner room
+and greeted Sir Evelyn with respectful courtesy. He was a tall, slim
+man, neatly dressed, cleanly shaved. He might still have been, what
+indeed he once was, the valet of a wealthy peer.
+
+"A glass of beer," said Sir Evelyn. "In fact a jug of beer."
+
+The landlord, the James Hinton of the newly painted board, spread out
+apologetic hands.
+
+"Very sorry sir," he said. "Very sorry indeed, sir; but at this
+hour---- The law, sir. The law. Most unfortunate, but you know how it
+is, sir."
+
+Sir Evelyn did know and groaned. He had descended the hill at an
+unfortunate time, arriving at the Anchor Inn at one of those hours
+during which, no doubt to the advantage of the souls of Englishmen, the
+buying of a glass of beer is a breach of the law.
+
+Sir Evelyn's guardian angel, watching from on high, smiled, and no one
+can blame him. He would have been less and not greater than a mortal if
+he had not been a little amused. Here was a man who had spent his life
+in making laws; who had taken a pleasure in that most objectionable
+occupation; who had given energy and considerable ability to the
+discovery of new laws, if possible sillier and more vexatious than
+those already made. Here was this man, parched with thirst, a-quiver
+with jangled nerves, cut off from the only thing in the world which
+would do him any good, by one of the very laws which he and his fellows
+had made. It is true that Sir Evelyn had never been directly and
+personally concerned with the laws which regulate the sale of beer, but
+he had been responsible for others quite as idiotic.
+
+And once--the guardian angel sniggered when he remembered this--Sir
+Evelyn answering a tiresome questioner in Parliament, had said that he
+saw no reason why any of the existing laws should be repealed.
+
+Here, surely, was an instance of that poetic justice, far too rare in
+the world, in which all good men rejoice and which angels, guardian and
+others, can scarce forbear to cheer.
+
+But justice in this world is seldom perfect and even angels sometimes
+smile too soon. It appeared that James Hinton was no fanatical
+worshipper of the letter of the law.
+
+"If I might venture to make a suggestion, Sir Evelyn----" he said and
+paused.
+
+Sir Evelyn was surprised by the use of his name and title. He had
+never been in Hailey Compton before and this prompt recognition was
+unexpected. A man may be an ex-Cabinet Minister, may be adorned with
+a knighthood, may be, as Sir Evelyn was, the son of one earl, brother
+of another and uncle of a third, may be entitled to be styled the
+Honourable, besides being a knight; but he does not go about the world
+with a placard round his neck announcing these glories. He looked
+sharply at the innkeeper.
+
+James Hinton offered an apologetic explanation of his knowledge.
+
+"I sometimes had the pleasure of waiting on you, sir, when I was first
+footman in the service of your brother, the late earl."
+
+"What about the beer?" said Sir Evelyn.
+
+He began to feel hopeful. A retired servant is a family friend and
+ought to have more respect for the memory of a dead master than he has
+for an existing law.
+
+"If I might venture to suggest, sir----" said Hinton again.
+
+"You may suggest anything," said Sir Evelyn, "except lemonade. That, I
+cannot stand."
+
+"Nothing would induce me to offer you such a thing, sir. If you'll
+excuse my mentioning a personal matter, sir, I have lived in good
+houses, some of the best in England, before coming here, and I'm aware
+that lemonade--with the possible exception of the home-brewed variety
+when suffering from influenza----"
+
+"If it's not lemonade," said Sir Evelyn, "what is it?"
+
+"My suggestion, sir--and I hope you will not regard it as unduly
+familiar from one in my position in life--is that you should be my
+guest, my private guest, for perhaps ten minutes or a quarter of an
+hour, and during that time share a jug of beer with me in my little
+room, my own snuggery, behind the bar. There is, of course, no question
+of payment. Therefore there is no breach of the law."
+
+"But I should like to pay for what I drink," said Sir Evelyn.
+
+He was as thirsty as a man can be, but he shrank from drinking at the
+expense of a footman.
+
+James Hinton's eyes were fixed on a large photograph of one of
+England's stately homes which hung, nicely framed, on the wall of the
+tap-room. He spoke in a tone of reminiscence, as a man does who tells
+a tale of old times, a tale which has nothing whatever to do with the
+life of to-day.
+
+"In the houses in which I used to live, sir, it was customary for
+guests to offer some slight token of esteem, what is commonly spoken
+of as a tip, to the servants when departing. There was of course no
+obligation to give anything. The tip was entirely voluntary, a gift,
+sir, not a payment, if you catch my meaning."
+
+Sir Evelyn caught it; he was to have his glass of beer in spite of
+the law, but it was to cost him two and sixpence, at least two and
+sixpence, perhaps five shillings. In the best houses it is scarcely
+possible to offer less than five shillings to the first footman.
+
+"Hailey Compton is a very quiet place," said James Hinton a few minutes
+later when he had filled Sir Evelyn's glass. "I don't know that I ever
+came across a quieter place. No society, unless you count the vicar and
+his lady. A very nice gentleman, the vicar, though not very energetic.
+But perhaps you know our vicar, the Rev. Mr. Eames?"
+
+Sir Evelyn did not and said so, holding out his glass for more beer. If
+he had to pay five shillings for his drink he felt entitled to quench
+his thirst.
+
+"Perhaps you know Mrs. Eames, sir," said Hinton, pouring out the beer.
+"A remarkable lady, Mrs. Eames, if I may say so without disrespect. A
+very remarkable lady, though a little trying at times to the vicar."
+
+Sir Evelyn took no more interest in Mrs. Eames than he did in the
+vicar. He was not a rural dean, nor an archdeacon, and his visit to
+Hailey Compton had nothing to do with the church.
+
+"But of course not, sir," said Hinton. "It's not to be expected that
+you would know Mrs. Eames or the vicar."
+
+Then he waited, hoping to hear what had brought Sir Evelyn to Hailey
+Compton. He was not disappointed.
+
+"I understand," said Sir Evelyn, "that there is a remarkable sea cave
+in this neighbourhood."
+
+James Hinton talked fluently and agreeably about the cave. He described
+its position and how to get to it. He congratulated Sir Evelyn on
+having arrived in Hailey Compton at a fortunate hour.
+
+"Not altogether fortunate, sir, as regards the beer. But if you wish to
+visit the cave you could hardly have come at a better time."
+
+The cave, it appeared, was accessible on foot only between half-tide
+and low water. At other times it must be approached by boat, and
+landing, except in calm weather, was difficult.
+
+"According to local tradition, sir, the cave was at one time largely
+used by smugglers. But no doubt you know more about that than I do."
+
+Sir Evelyn did. He knew more about the Hailey Compton cave, indeed more
+about all smugglers' caves on our coasts, than any man in England.
+
+Having been forced, by a turn of the political wheel to leave office,
+he had retired to a pleasant old Manor House, once the property of his
+aunt, Lady Mildred Dent. It stood surrounded by gardens, some twenty
+miles from Hailey Compton. It had the advantage of being in the middle
+of the constituency which had lately rejected Sir Evelyn, which might,
+he hoped would, ultimately change its mind. There he settled down
+contentedly enough with his pictures, his old prints, his books and
+manuscripts, until such time as he could appeal to the voters again.
+
+Sir Evelyn had spent his adult life in making laws and arranging for
+their administration. It was perhaps not unnatural that he should have
+cherished a secret love and admiration for law breakers. If a bishop
+were to tell the naked truth about himself he would probably say that
+what he looked forward to most in heaven was the chance of intimacy
+with heretics. A doctor, in hours of relaxation and influenced by good
+wine, will confess to a liking for quacks and a contempt for orthodox
+methods of cure.
+
+Sir Evelyn's affections went out to the smugglers of the eighteenth
+and early nineteenth centuries, bold defiers of law every one of them.
+He had gathered a small library about smugglers and made a collection
+of pictures and prints illustrating their ways. It was his intention
+to devote his years, or months, of leisure--the period during which
+the life of Parliament was denied him--to the production of a complete
+illustrated history of English smuggling. The thing has never been
+done, and Sir Evelyn felt it was due to the memory of a number of
+adventurous men that it should be done sympathetically.
+
+He intended, in course of time, to visit and photograph all the
+genuine smugglers' caves there were. He had already made a list of
+them, carefully eliminating those whose connection with smugglers was
+uncertain. It was chiefly with a view to visiting the caves that he
+had bought and more or less learned to drive his motor. His plan was
+to spend the summer, perhaps several summers, in investigating the
+caves one by one. During the winter he meant to arrange the material
+collected, make extracts from books, and in due time actually write the
+great history.
+
+The Hailey Compton cave, an unquestionably genuine haunt of eighteenth
+century smugglers, was first on his list. He reached it--as has been
+already noted--early in May after a drive of some peril.
+
+"Perhaps, sir," said Hinton, "you may be returning here for luncheon
+after your visit to the cave. I can scarcely recommend it though I
+shall do my best. This is a poor house, sir, not at all what you're
+accustomed to. I can scarcely venture to promise more than a slice of
+cold beef, a cut off the Sunday joint, with some bread and cheese. The
+cheese, if I may say so, is excellent. But perhaps you will prefer to
+lunch at the vicarage. Mrs. Eames is a very hospitable lady, sir, and I
+may take it upon myself to say that she will be delighted to entertain
+you."
+
+"I shall lunch here," said Sir Evelyn, "on whatever you can give me."
+
+"Very good, sir, I merely mentioned the vicarage because I thought you
+might like to meet Mrs. Eames. A very remarkable lady, sir."
+
+"I do not want to meet Mrs. Eames," said Sir Evelyn. "And I shall not
+lunch at the vicarage."
+
+Here Sir Evelyn's guardian angel smiled again. How far these beings
+arrange our future for us is uncertain, but there is no doubt that
+they know what is going to happen to us some time ahead. When they
+hear us asserting confidently that we are going to do something, or
+not going to do it, they are amused, being aware that our plans have
+very little to do with what actually happens. Sir Evelyn's angel knew
+perfectly well that his ward would lunch that day at the vicarage, that
+he would meet Mrs. Eames, and that consequences of the most unexpected
+kind would follow. His smile died wholly away when he reflected that
+it would be his business to extricate Sir Evelyn from the tangled
+difficulties in which he was soon to be involved, which began with his
+visit to the Hailey Compton Vicarage.
+
+
+
+
+Chapter II
+
+
+Sir Evelyn left the Anchor Inn, took his camera from the car and set
+out on the way which Hinton had described to him.
+
+It was not a very pleasant way. It first passed along the village
+street which smelt of decaying fish and was strewed with empty lobster
+pots, broken spars and disused oars. Here he was stared at with
+unblinking hostility by a number of men who leaned against the walls of
+cottages with their hands in their pockets. He was surveyed apparently
+with amused dislike by women who came to the doors with babies in their
+arms. He would have been giggled at by children if they had not all
+been shut up at school at that hour.
+
+Having reached the end of the street he skirted a slimy and very smelly
+boat haven beyond which he reached a space of coarse grass. Here nets
+were spread out to dry and long rows of geese paraded solemnly. Sir
+Evelyn picked his way among the nets and tried to be indifferent to the
+geese which stretched out their necks and hissed at him. Having crossed
+the grass he climbed the sea wall and dropped down on a stony beach. It
+was a disagreeable beach covered with round white stones. Some of these
+were about the size of potatoes. They rolled when Sir Evelyn trod on
+them and he ran some risk of spraining his ankles. Others were larger,
+about the size of field turnips, and they were coated with pale green
+weed. Sir Evelyn slipped when he walked on one of them.
+
+At the back, the shoreward end of the beach, the cliffs rose abruptly
+to a plateau on which the church stood. A hundred yards or so from the
+village green was the cave. Sir Evelyn, stumbling doggedly on, reached
+it slightly out of breath.
+
+A surprise waited him. Under the huge arch which formed the entrance
+of the cave is a pool, ten or twelve feet deep, large enough to hold
+a fair sized fishing smack. The rocks at the side of the pool are as
+steep as if they had been cut away to form a dock or a swimming bath.
+The water is bright green and so clear that the pebbles at the bottom
+can be plainly seen.
+
+Sir Evelyn unstrapped his camera, preparing to photograph the entrance
+of the cave. He saw to his annoyance that he was not alone. A woman
+was standing at the far side of the pool. She wore a bright red bathing
+dress and a blue waterproof cap. At the moment when Sir Evelyn caught
+sight of her she was poised for a plunge into the green water.
+
+An imaginative and slightly short-sighted man might have fancied
+himself unexpectedly blessed with a vision of a mermaid or some other
+kind of water nymph. The great arch of the cave, the gloomy hollow
+beyond it, the clear water and the shining rock, formed a natural and
+proper haunt for a marine damsel. But Sir Evelyn was not romantic. Men
+who rise to eminence in politics are almost always realists. And he
+was not short-sighted. He could see perfectly well that the lady on the
+rock had a sturdy figure and unusually thick legs. All nymphs, woodland
+or marine, are slim creatures and young. The lady on the rock was not
+very young, but if he had had any doubt about what she was her greeting
+would have dispelled it.
+
+"Hallo!" she shouted.
+
+Sir Evelyn, who was a courteous gentleman, took off his hat, bowed and
+apologised for his intrusion.
+
+"I'm exceedingly sorry for disturbing you," he said. "If I had known
+you were bathing I should have waited until you had finished."
+
+"Hold on a minute," said the lady. "I can't hear a word you're saying."
+
+She plunged, a neat header with scarcely a splash. He saw the red clad
+form, curved stiffly from neck to heel, shooting through the clear
+water. The blue cap emerged, plump arms flashed and splashed. With
+incredible swiftness and all the grace of a swimming seal she crossed
+the pool. Grasping the rock at Sir Evelyn's feet she pulled herself
+half out of the water and looked at him with a gleaming smile.
+
+"This is quite exciting," she said. "I don't think I ever saw anyone
+here before. Do tell me who you are and what you're doing."
+
+The approach and the questioning which followed it surprised Sir
+Evelyn. This was not the way in which strangers usually sought to make
+his acquaintance. But though shocked and a little startled, he was not
+angry. It is almost impossible to be angry with a dripping, smiling,
+friendly lady who emerges from the water at your feet.
+
+"My dear lady----" he began, rather pompously but quite kindly.
+
+"My name," she said, "is Eames, Agatha Eames, and my husband is vicar
+of the parish."
+
+"Dear me!" said Sir Evelyn a little startled.
+
+He had a fairly clear idea in his mind of what the wives of our country
+clergy are like, an idea formed on the descriptions of these ladies
+given by our novelists. They are elderly, angular, severe, conventional
+in their outlook on life and morals, inclined to bitter speaking of a
+slanderous kind, clothed in body and equipped in mind after the fashion
+of provincial spinsters of fifty years ago. The lady who looked up
+at him in no way corresponded to his mental picture of what a country
+vicar's wife ought to be.
+
+"My name," he said, "is Dent, Evelyn Dent."
+
+"Evelyn Dent! But, of course, Sir Evelyn Dent. _The_ Sir Evelyn Dent."
+
+This prompt recognition of his eminence surprised Sir Evelyn. In
+political circles he was of course well known. Socially, as son,
+brother and uncle of three succeeding earls, he held a distinguished
+position. But he scarcely expected to find himself known to a
+plump lady bathing in a lonely pool. Recollecting Hinton's earlier
+recognition in the Anchor Inn, it occurred to him that this lady might
+at one time have been cook in the house of his father, brother or
+nephew. In the eighteenth century, according to Thackeray, the clergy
+often married upper servants. For all Sir Evelyn knew they might be
+doing so still.
+
+With this idea in his mind he smiled in a friendly way. Mrs. Eames, no
+doubt encouraged by this sign of amiability, climbed out of the pool,
+sat down on a rock at his feet and began rubbing the water off her legs
+with curved palms.
+
+"So you know who I am," he said, expecting a confession that she had in
+other days fried bacon for his breakfast.
+
+But Mrs. Eames had never been a cook and knew Sir Evelyn only as a
+public man.
+
+"Of course I know who you are," she said. "I have often heard of
+your splendid work in the Foreign Office--or if it wasn't the Foreign
+Office, the Treasury."
+
+Sir Evelyn's splendid work had not been done either in the Foreign
+Office or the Treasury.
+
+"Not quite right," he said.
+
+"A Cabinet Minister, anyhow," said Mrs. Eames, "and frightfully
+important. Chairman of no end of Royal Commissions."
+
+"Only three," said Sir Evelyn, as if modestly disclaiming a well
+deserved honour which had not been bestowed on him.
+
+"Three seems no end of a lot to me," said Mrs. Eames. "In fact three is
+no end of a lot when it's Royal Commissions. Of course three cigarettes
+wouldn't be much or three apples. Was anyone else ever Chairman of
+three Royal Commissions?"
+
+Sir Evelyn was not vainer or fonder of praise than most elderly and
+successful men. Vanity is supposed to be the besetting sin of young
+women. It is really the devil's most successful lure for old gentlemen,
+and Sir Evelyn had not escaped it. Long after the other six deadly
+sins have ceased to be dangerous, when the blood is too sluggish for
+lust, when bitter experience has taught the folly of gluttony, when
+there is little left in life with the power to move to anger, whenever
+avarice--though Byron calls it an old-gentlemanly vice--is a temptation
+of the past, then vanity attacks a man whose life has given any excuse
+for it, and he generally falls. With grey hairs and a measure of
+success there comes to most of us, as to Sir Evelyn, a strong sense of
+our own importance.
+
+"I wonder," he said modestly, "how you come to be interested in my
+commonplace career."
+
+"You mustn't think," said Mrs. Eames, "that because I live in Hailey
+Compton I'm interested in nothing except the parish pump."
+
+"No doubt," said Sir Evelyn, becoming ponderously playful, "so
+omniscient a lady will be able to guess what has brought me here
+to-day."
+
+Mrs. Eames took off her bathing cap and ran her fingers through her
+hair as if deeply pondering. Her hair was red and had been cropped by
+the village barber, a fisherman and only an amateur at hair-cutting,
+who had heard of but not actually seen the fashionable bobbing and
+shingling. The result was comfortable but not becoming. The absence of
+floating locks made Mrs. Eames's face look bigger than it was and her
+features did not bear exaggeration well. They gave the impression of
+having been rather hurriedly put into their places--eyes, nose, mouth
+and chin--by a modeller who had learnt his art through a correspondence
+class. The general effect was lumpy and, on closer looking, rather
+crooked.
+
+"A little bird whispered to me----" she said.
+
+"A little what?"
+
+"Bird. Of course it wasn't really a bird. And even if it had been it
+wouldn't have whispered. Birds don't. They twitter. I ought to have
+said 'Lilith lisped to me----'"
+
+"Lilith!"
+
+"Surely you know 'The Lispings of Lilith,'" said Mrs. Eames.
+
+Sir Evelyn had to confess that he did not.
+
+"Lilith," said Mrs. Eames, "is my niece, Beth Appleby. My name was
+Appleby before I married poor dear Timothy. She does a column called
+'The Lispings of Lilith' which comes out every week in about a dozen
+provincial papers. Syndicated, you know. I couldn't get on without it.
+It keeps me up to all that's going on in the great world outside Hailey
+Compton. Surely you've read it?"
+
+"Never," said Sir Evelyn.
+
+"You'd have liked last week's. There was a Lisping about you. 'Lilith
+lisps,' that's how every paragraph begins, 'that Sir Evelyn Dent, who
+has recently retired from public life, is devoting his leisure to a
+study of the history of English smuggling on which he is expected to
+produce a ----' Now what was it Beth called it? Either a monograph or
+a _magnum opus_."
+
+Sir Evelyn was aware that some paragraphs, based on hints which he
+had given himself, had appeared here and there about his devotion to
+historical research. No doubt "Lilith" or Miss Appleby had copied one
+of them into the column of provincial lispings.
+
+"Very annoying," he said. "Very annoying indeed. This craze for the
+publication of the personal affairs of private individuals is one of
+the crying evils of our time."
+
+But Mrs. Eames, though talkative, was by no means a fool. She knew that
+Sir Evelyn did not find paragraphs in the papers about his historical
+work in the least annoying. He liked them. He would have liked them
+even if they had dealt with his favourite shaving soap. All eminent men
+like this kind of publicity. If they did not they would not get it. For
+journalists only advertise those who supply the advertisements. Mrs.
+Eames was wise enough to know this, but also wise enough to pretend she
+did not.
+
+"It must be most trying," she said. "That's the worst of being famous.
+Now what about your photo of the cave? I mustn't interrupt you by
+chattering here. Would you like me to pose for you as a pirate? I
+mean to say a smuggler. A real live smuggler seated on a stone at the
+entrance of the cave would be rather a catch in your book, wouldn't
+it?"
+
+Sir Evelyn did not think it would, and tried to say so politely.
+
+"I see what you mean," said Mrs. Eames. "My figure, of course. It's
+too plump for even a well-to-do smuggler. What you want is someone
+lean. Now if poor Timothy were here---- But he's too mild-looking for
+a smuggler. It is a pity about my figure."
+
+She surveyed her own legs with a good-humoured smile.
+
+"It's not that," said Sir Evelyn, though it was. "All I meant to say
+is that I'd like to take a separate photograph of you afterwards, a
+portrait."
+
+He felt that he had been rude, and there was nothing he disliked more
+than failing in courtesy to a woman.
+
+Mrs. Eames clapped her hands.
+
+"For publication, of course," she said. "'Mrs. Eames takes a dip at
+Deauville.' We must say Deauville. Beth knows all about these things,
+being a journalist herself; and she says that this sort of photo
+practically must be at Deauville if it's to get into any really smart
+paper."
+
+"But do you want that?"
+
+"Of course I do," said Mrs. Eames, "and it won't do to say 'Mrs. Eames
+taking a dip,' even at Deauville. We'll say 'Agatha Eames,' and then if
+people don't know who I am they'll feel they ought to and pretend they
+do. Or perhaps 'Lady Agatha Eames.' I don't think there'd be any harm
+in that, do you? 'Lady Agatha Eames in the smartest of chic bathing
+suits taking her morning dip at Deauville. Photo'd by Sir Evelyn Dent.'
+You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
+
+"I don't think I should," said Sir Evelyn, rather alarmed. "In fact,
+I'm sure I shouldn't."
+
+Mrs. Eames was a little downcast, but bore her disappointment well.
+
+"I quite understand," she said. "My bathing dress isn't really chic,
+and it's centuries old. Of course, you wouldn't like to be associated
+with it in any public way."
+
+"It's not that," said Sir Evelyn feebly.
+
+"And my figure," said Mrs. Eames. "It is unfortunate about my figure.
+And you wouldn't believe the amount of exercise I take in order to keep
+it down. I quite see that it wouldn't do for a Deauville bathing photo.
+I'll just slip off behind a rock and get my clothes on while you're
+photographing the cave."
+
+She put on her bathing cap and plunged into the pool again. A few swift
+strokes took her to the other side. Sir Evelyn watched her disappear
+into the cave with a bundle of clothes and a bathing towel in her arms.
+He adjusted his camera and took three photographs.
+
+A quarter of an hour later Mrs. Eames came scrambling over the rocks at
+the mouth of the pool. She was dressed, but it struck Sir Evelyn when
+he saw her that her clothes tended rather to emphasise than disguise
+the defects of figure she complained of. On the upper part of her
+body she wore a low-necked, entirely sleeveless knitted jumper of a
+bright yellow colour. A blue cotton skirt barely reached her knees.
+Her stockings, which seemed stretched to their uttermost, were of the
+colour called "nude" by hosiers, and it was impossible to help looking
+at them because her shoes were very white and caught the eye.
+
+"Now for lunch," she said. "You'll lunch with us, of course."
+
+"I fear," said Sir Evelyn vaguely. "I fear that to-day---- Perhaps some
+other day----"
+
+"Oh, but you must," said Mrs. Eames. "Think of poor Timothy. He hardly
+ever has the chance of meeting anyone. Not that he wants to, poor
+darling. In fact he hates it. But it's so good for him."
+
+This tangled account of the vicar's feelings about strangers confirmed
+Sir Evelyn in his determination to go back to the Anchor Inn for
+luncheon. He had no wish to force his company on an unwilling host, and
+did not feel it in any way his duty to be "good" for the Rev. Timothy
+Eames.
+
+"I have made arrangements," he said a little stiffly, "to lunch at the
+inn."
+
+"Oh, that'll be all right," said Mrs. Eames, "I'll explain to James
+Hinton. As a matter of fact, he'll quite expect you to lunch at the
+vicarage. Everybody who comes to the village does. Not that anyone ever
+does come. At least, very seldom. But if anybody did--and, after all,
+you have--he would lunch at the vicarage. James Hinton knows that quite
+well."
+
+James Hinton did. Sir Evelyn remembered that.
+
+Further refusal became impossible when Mrs. Eames hooked her arm
+through his and began to tow him across the stony beach.
+
+"There's only cold lamb," she said. "But as soon as we get home
+I'll dart into the kitchen and make some pancakes. I'm sure you like
+pancakes. Don't you like pancakes?"
+
+"Oh, quite," said Sir Evelyn.
+
+"And scrambled eggs. Scrambled eggs don't take a minute. After
+photographing the cave you're sure to be hungry. I know I am. Gladys
+can run down to the inn for a jug of beer."
+
+"Gladys!"
+
+"Gladys," said Mrs. Eames, "is our cook, which she can't, not even
+scrambled eggs; and housemaid, which she won't, though she could if she
+liked. But she can and will go down to James Hinton's for a jug of beer
+when I tell her to."
+
+
+
+
+Chapter III
+
+
+"While I'm making the pancakes," said Mrs. Eames, as they crossed the
+green where the nets and geese were, "you might give Timothy a bit of a
+talking to; stir him up, you know. I'm always trying to, but I've never
+succeeded in the least. A word or two from you----"
+
+"I do not think it at all likely that I should influence him," said Sir
+Evelyn stiffly.
+
+He had no idea of taking on the task of stimulating into activity a
+lazy country vicar. That was what the Rev. Timothy Eames seemed to be.
+
+"Oh, but you could," said Mrs. Eames. "Force of good example, you
+know. Tell him you're writing a book, and then, very likely, he'll
+write one too. He could if he chose. I was sitting beside a Dean once
+at tea--not quite a first-rate Dean, but still fairly important--and
+I heard him say to another Dean that there is a corner to be made in
+the Christological heresies, if anyone cared to seize the chance. I
+remembered that and told Timothy afterwards, hoping that he might go in
+for it."
+
+"Might make a corner?"
+
+"Exactly. Just what you're doing, you know. I don't say Christological
+heresies are as good as smugglers. They're not. But a corner is a
+corner whatever it's in. My idea was that Timothy might dart in before
+anyone else tumbled to the chance, and corner those heretics. I know he
+can read Greek, for I've seen him do it, and so far as I can make out
+that's the only qualification required. Do try and persuade him, won't
+you?"
+
+"I'm afraid----"
+
+"You needn't be," said Mrs. Eames. "Timothy won't resent anything you
+say. He isn't the kind of man who resents good advice. I give him lots
+and lots, and he's never even annoyed. He simply lies down under it.
+Such a pity, when he really can read Greek, a thing very few can do."
+
+They passed through the gateway of the vicarage--the gate itself had
+long ago decayed away--and walked up an ill-kept drive. They found the
+vicar seated on a rickety chair in front of the house. He had a book in
+his hand, perhaps a Greek book, but instead of reading it he was gazing
+at the sea with mild, watery eyes. He stood up as his wife and Sir
+Evelyn approached, and showed himself to be a tall, gaunt man. He rose
+slowly to an incredible height, and then seemed to shrink again as he
+relapsed into his habitual stoop. Mrs. Eames was fluent and explanatory
+in her introduction.
+
+"This is Sir Evelyn Dent," she said, "and he has come to luncheon. He
+was a very eminent Cabinet Minister until the Government was hoofed
+out, which wasn't his fault, and happens to all Governments sooner or
+later. What do you think Sir Evelyn did then, Timothy? He sat straight
+down to historical research of the most abstruse kind. There's an
+example for you! Now, Sir Evelyn, you talk to him about Christological
+heresies while I go and make the pancakes. You'll hardly believe it,
+but I've put the advantages of that corner of the Dean's before him
+dozens of times and he hasn't done a thing yet, not even ragged a
+Monophysite, though that must be an easy enough thing for anyone who
+knows Greek."
+
+She ran into the house, leaving two embarrassed men behind her. Sir
+Evelyn, though a man of the world and practised in dealing with awkward
+situations, stood tongue-tied. The vicar, sighing gently, looked at his
+visitor, apparently waiting for the scolding which he felt he deserved.
+It was he who first broke the silence.
+
+"Do you find the Christological controversies really interesting?" he
+asked mildly.
+
+"Interesting!" Sir Evelyn was a little irritable. "Good heavens, no! I
+don't even know what Christological controversies are. I never heard of
+them till Mrs. Eames mentioned them to me ten minutes ago."
+
+"Oh," said the vicar. "I thought Agatha said that you and some Dean
+were going into the subject together. I must have been mistaken. But
+I'm often mistaken, in fact--generally, especially about things Agatha
+says. She will talk fast and jump about from one thing to another."
+
+"My subject," said Sir Evelyn, beginning to recover himself, "is
+Eighteenth Century Smuggling."
+
+"And is that interesting? But, of course, it must be to you, or you
+wouldn't take it up. I suppose that any subject would be interesting
+if only one succeeded in getting started, even the Christological
+heresies. But we needn't talk about them, at least not until Agatha
+comes back. Indeed we needn't even then unless we want to. She will do
+all the talking necessary. So restful for us. Don't you think so?"
+
+Sir Evelyn did not. He liked talking, and held the view, taken by St.
+Paul, that women ought to keep silence. They are at their best when
+listening, respectfully, to what men like Sir Evelyn have to say.
+
+"The Hailey Compton cave," he began, as if delivering a public lecture,
+"which I came here to-day to investigate, was undoubtedly much used
+by smugglers. Its situation, close to a remote village difficult of
+access, rendered it peculiarly suitable for their lawless trade. Its
+great size and the ease with which it can be approached from the sea at
+high tide, help to mark it out as one of the places...."
+
+Long before he had finished what he had to say about the Hailey Compton
+cave Mrs. Eames came from the house again.
+
+"So lucky," she said. "I found Gladys's aunt in the kitchen, so I just
+scrambled the eggs and left her to make the pancakes. I expect she can
+all right. Anyhow, she'll be better than Gladys, and quite as good as
+me. She has nine children, so she must be able to make pancakes. What
+I mean to say is that a woman who can bring up nine children can do
+anything. And now, Sir Evelyn, do tell me all about London. Timothy,
+darling, get a couple more chairs, and we'll all sit down and be
+comfortable. We can't have lunch till the pancakes are ready and Gladys
+has fetched the beer."
+
+The vicar, who seemed obedient in most things though rebellious over
+the Christological heresies, shambled into the house in search of
+chairs.
+
+"I'm just longing," said Mrs. Eames, "to hear all about the latest
+music and art. I really live for music though, of course, I never hear
+any, and I worship----" She looked round and saw that her husband had
+not yet come out of the house. "Timothy isn't here, so I don't mind
+saying that I worship the theatre. I hope you don't think it very wrong
+of me to say 'worship,' on account of the second commandment, and me
+being a clergyman's wife. Though, of course, the theatre isn't a graven
+or molten image, is it? Still, Timothy mightn't quite like my saying
+it, although it's true. Now what do you think about that, Sir Evelyn?"
+
+Sir Evelyn evaded the point, a thing which his long practice in
+politics enabled him to do without any difficulty. He did not feel
+equal to deciding whether the second commandment forbids the worship of
+the theatre.
+
+"I'm afraid," he said, "that you have not much chance of indulging your
+taste for the drama down here."
+
+"Oh, but I have," said Mrs. Eames. "Timothy says I indulge it too
+much. But I always tell him something must be done for the good of the
+parish, and as he won't, I do. The year before last we had 'Macbeth,'
+acted entirely by the village people. I do think Shakespeare is so
+educative, don't you? Last year we had 'Othello,' and now we're getting
+up 'Hamlet.' Oh, here's Timothy coming back with some chairs. Now we'll
+be able to sit down and listen to you, Sir Evelyn. I always say that
+the greatest pleasure in life is hearing a clever man talk, a really
+clever man. Timothy, darling, Sir Evelyn thinks that we never have any
+plays here. But we do, don't we?"
+
+The vicar, shambling along with two chairs dragged behind him, stopped
+when appealed to.
+
+"Plays!" he said. "Oh, yes, certainly. Almost too many of them."
+
+"I always think," said Mrs. Eames, "that Shakespeare is so much better
+done in the open air by simple country people. More Elizabethan in
+spirit. I'm sure you agree with me about that."
+
+"I should have supposed," said Sir Evelyn, a little stiffly, "that it
+would have been difficult to get a satisfactory local Hamlet."
+
+"Not a bit," said Mrs. Eames. "There's a man here called Hinton, the
+landlord of the inn--but you've seen him, haven't you?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Then I'm sure you agree with me," said Mrs. Eames, "that he's a
+perfect natural Hamlet--figure, manner, face, voice, everything. You
+ought to see him in the grave-digger scene--and you shall. This isn't
+the regular day for rehearsals, but we'll have one after lunch. I'll
+send Gladys round to tell everyone. It'll be so good for us all to hear
+what you have to say. I'm doing the Queen, Hamlet's mother, you know.
+I'd have liked to do Ophelia; but that was scarcely possible with my
+figure."
+
+She sat down abruptly on a low deck chair which the vicar had dragged
+out. Her skirt was a barely sufficient covering when she stood up.
+It was very insufficient when she sat down in a low chair. She was
+conscious of that but not at all embarrassed.
+
+"You simply couldn't have an Ophelia with legs like those," she said.
+
+Sir Evelyn agreed with her, but was not obliged to say so, for Gladys's
+aunt put her head out of the kitchen window and shouted that luncheon
+was ready.
+
+"Has Gladys come back with the beer?" said Mrs. Eames.
+
+The aunt said she was at that moment coming in through the back door
+with a jug in her hand.
+
+"I do hope it'll turn out that Gladys's aunt can make pancakes," said
+Mrs. Eames as they went into the house. "Gladys can't. But these things
+don't always run in families, which is a pity. If I could write for the
+papers like Beth--she is my niece, Sir Evelyn, not Timothy's--we might
+be quite rich. But I can't; which just shows that there's not so much
+in heredity as some people say, and proves that Gladys's aunt may be
+able to make pancakes. Anyhow, let's try."
+
+Gladys, a failure as a cook and unwilling to make beds, appeared to be
+quite incompetent as a parlourmaid. Mrs. Eames was obliged to run round
+the table with plates and dishes, while Gladys, grinning foolishly,
+followed her with the beer. This gave Sir Evelyn a chance of resuming
+the monologue about smugglers' caves which had been interrupted by Mrs.
+Eames.
+
+"There are," he said, "several hundred so-called smugglers' caves on
+the south coast of England. Few of them, perhaps not more than eighty
+or ninety altogether, were actually ever used for the storing of
+contraband goods. All the rest are spurious, advertised by the local
+hotel-keepers and railway companies as attractions to the trippers.
+They are rapidly becoming popular features of our watering-places.
+Picnic parties throng them. Campers pitch tents in their vicinity."
+
+The vicar, who was drooping slowly at the head of the table, sighed.
+The thought of picnic parties swarming into the Hailey Compton cave
+filled him with horror. Mrs. Eames became interested. She was hovering
+over the cold lamb with a carving knife in her hand. She paused to
+consider a splendid prospect. Crowds of trippers, if they could be
+attracted to Hailey Compton, would provide audiences for her plays, and
+audiences were so far just what the plays lacked. A vision of Hailey
+Compton as a sort of Shakespearean Ober-Ammergau, floated through her
+mind.
+
+"The claims of your cave," Sir Evelyn went on, bowing politely to the
+vicar, "can certainly be substantiated at the bar of history."
+
+A man gains this advantage by being an experienced public speaker.
+He is able to use phrases like "Substantiated at the bar of history"
+without suffering, though not, of course, without causing suffering
+to others. The ordinary speech of an experienced politician contains
+hundreds of similar phrases; and in his use of them he is like a
+surgeon who can do the most disgusting things to the human body without
+the slightest feeling of nausea because he has become thoroughly
+accustomed to doing them. In the same way a Cabinet Minister can
+use phrases, not only without self-contempt, but even with a glow of
+satisfaction, which make other men sick. How splendid it must be to be
+able to say "The answer is in the negative" without vomiting!
+
+"Timothy," said Mrs. Eames while Sir Evelyn had his mouth full of
+scrambled egg, "why hasn't our cave been advertised? I'm always telling
+you that something ought to be done for the parish. As vicar you're
+simply bound to do something. Here's a splendid opportunity for you.
+Advertise the cave."
+
+Sir Evelyn held up his hand in gentle but firm protest against Mrs.
+Eames's interruptions. He still had a great deal to say and he meant
+to say it all. It was a contest for the privilege of talking, and Sir
+Evelyn's steady flow of words reduced Mrs. Eames to silence for a time.
+
+Perhaps mere persistence would not have won the victory. Sir Evelyn was
+more than persevering and monotonous. He was interesting and showed
+that he possessed a gift for picturesque description. Having proved
+that the Hailey Compton cave really had been used by smugglers, he
+went on to give an account, imaginary but based on laboriously studied
+facts, of the landing of a cargo of contraband goods.
+
+He did it so well that even the vicar was slightly interested. Mrs.
+Eames, who might have sat down and eaten her luncheon, stood with a
+dish of potatoes in her hand, thrilled. Even Gladys stopped clattering
+plates together on the sideboard. Sir Evelyn, like all good talkers,
+responded to the sympathy of his audience. He spoke better than he ever
+remembered speaking before.
+
+A dark autumn night. A sighing wind. The hoarse roar of sullen waves
+dragging at the stones on the beach. A watcher on the tower of the
+church. The flash of a light far out at sea. A flare on the church
+tower, subsiding, flaming up again. Glimmering lights in cottage
+windows. The trampling of heavily booted feet across the beach. The
+glowing of lanterns. A gathering of dim figures under the arch of the
+cave, the sharp rattle of horsehoofs on the stony path which led down
+the cliff to the village. (Sir Evelyn's own experiences earlier in the
+day helped him to realise what that descent was like.) A gathering of
+led pack horses, whinnying and neighing, on the short grass where now
+the nets are spread. The continuous flashing of a ship's light near
+at hand. Answering flashes from the mouth of the cave. All the while
+the hollow booming of the sea. (Sir Evelyn had a good voice, resonant
+and thrilling like the tones of a 'cello and he was telling his story
+well.) The appearance of blacker shadows, huge, menacing, against the
+blackness of the night--the great sails of the lugger. The rattle of
+blocks and the whining of running ropes. Muttered orders. The slow
+in-gliding of the boat. The making fast of mooring ropes.
+
+This was part of one of the few chapters in Sir Evelyn's book which
+was already written. He had worked at it so long and revised it so
+often that he knew it off by heart. He thought it a fine piece of
+writing, and it certainly seemed good to his audience. Perhaps it is
+only because they despise their audiences that our statesmen talk stale
+jargon in Parliament and on platforms. When they sit down to write,
+hoping to be read by intelligent men and women, they are very often
+capable of producing good English.
+
+
+
+
+Chapter IV
+
+
+There were incidents in the story which might have been cavilled
+at by a cold-blooded critic. There were, as Sir Evelyn went on,
+inconsistencies. Men who had tramped across bare rolling stones were
+splashing knee-deep in water a little later, as if the tide had come
+in with startling rapidity. On so calm a night there was surely no
+need for the lugger to carry ballast outboard, though the description
+of the kegs slung along her weather gunwale helped to produce an
+atmosphere of very proper desperation. But what do such details matter?
+Sir Evelyn had achieved the spirit of the smugglers' night landing;
+worked up to quite unusual emotion he might have gone on to a fight
+with the preventive officers, but Mrs. Eames, uncontrollably excited,
+interrupted him at last.
+
+"I see it all," she cried, clapping her hands. "It's wonderful, Sir
+Evelyn, thrilling. Timothy, we must have a pageant--the Hailey Compton
+Pageant of Smuggling days. The first of a series of Hailey Compton
+Pageants of English History. Smugglers! They've never been done
+before."
+
+To Sir Evelyn her voice was like a jug of cold water suddenly emptied
+over him. His delight in his own story faded away. He was conscious of
+nothing except that he had been betrayed into making a fool of himself.
+
+The vicar groaned aloud.
+
+"My dear Agatha----" he began.
+
+"Don't croak, Timothy," she cried, "and don't cavil. This is going to
+be the most splendid pageant there ever was. The real thing. All the
+cinemas in the world will reproduce it. We'll have half England here to
+see it."
+
+"Terrible, terrible," said the vicar.
+
+"We'll make pots of money--for the church of course, Timothy."
+
+"The church doesn't want money," said the vicar; but he knew even
+while he sobbed out the words, that this was not true. All churches
+want money, always, and when they get it immediately want more. So
+do states. If a church or a state could be found which did not want
+money all sensible men would immediately be received into the one and
+naturalised into the other.
+
+"Timothy, dearest," said Mrs. Eames, "you know the church ought to
+be restored. You can't imagine," she explained to Sir Evelyn, "how
+utterly Victorian our church is. It's quite impossible to have really
+catholic services in it in its present state. But if we only had money
+to restore it--and we will, thanks to your splendid idea of a smuggling
+pageant."
+
+Mrs. Eames, a fervent admirer of all that was best in drama, music
+and art, was in full sympathy with the picturesque part of the
+Anglo-Catholic movement in the Church. If she had not been a vicar's
+wife she would probably have become Catholic without the Anglo. This
+shows the wisdom of the Church of England in encouraging the marriage
+of her clergy. A taste for ornamental ecclesiasticism would doubtless
+lead many women to desert the church of their baptism, if it were
+not that such women generally get married early in life to curates.
+And how many of our priests--blessed with similar tastes and an equal
+share of intelligence--would make their submission to seductive Rome if
+they were not irrevocably tied to women by a bond which they regard as
+sacramental?
+
+"God forbid," said the vicar solemnly, "that I should ever be guilty
+of restoring the church. I have," his voice became penitential, "I have
+many sins to answer for, but at least----"
+
+Mrs. Eames laid down the potato dish which she still held in her hands,
+ran to him and flung a plump arm round his neck.
+
+"Timothy, darling," she said, "you haven't any sins or shortcomings.
+I sometimes think you'd be a better man if you had a few. But you
+haven't."
+
+"At least," said the vicar, pushing his mouth clear of the hands which
+covered it, "it shall never be recorded of me that I restored a church.
+I beg of you, Agatha, to allow me to die without doing that."
+
+He spoke as all good clergy do of church restoration. There is scarcely
+a vicar or rector to be found in England to-day who does not resent
+the restoration of his church effected by his predecessor. So far has
+æsthetic education advanced in our time. So far, but no farther. For
+there is scarcely a vicar or a rector who does not feel that if the
+restoration had been left to him it would have been done properly; who
+would not joyfully undertake a fresh restoration if he saw his way to
+getting the money. But Mr. Eames at least was sincere. The furniture
+and fittings of Hailey Compton church deserved the worst that could be
+said of them, but the vicar would not willingly have removed a pew or
+erected a screen.
+
+He got up slowly and sadly, releasing himself from his wife's
+encircling arms. With a bow to Sir Evelyn he turned to leave the room.
+
+"Timothy, Timothy," said Mrs. Eames, "don't go till you've had a
+pancake."
+
+She turned on Gladys who was making a cheerful noise by knocking
+table-spoons against the beer jug.
+
+"Go and get the pancakes at once, Gladys. Timothy, my darling, do stay."
+
+"Not if I'm to be asked to restore a church," he said.
+
+"I'm afraid," said Sir Evelyn, when the vicar had shut the door behind
+him, "that he doesn't like the idea of a pageant."
+
+"Oh, he's always that way at first," said Mrs. Eames, "when I'm doing
+something for the parish. He was perfectly miserable for a week when
+I began the rehearsing for 'Othello,' pretending that he didn't like
+my doing Desdemona. He was just as bad over 'Hamlet,' though I said
+I'd give up being Ophelia just to please him. I cannot get him to see
+that it is his duty in a parish like this to get up something for the
+people. Don't you agree with me, Sir Evelyn?"
+
+"The country clergy," said Sir Evelyn, "are often reproached with
+apathy and indifference to----"
+
+"Exactly what I don't want to have said about poor Timothy," said
+Mrs. Eames. "He's really a saint, you know. At least he would be if
+he'd only do something, even something wrong. It is such a comfort,"
+she went on abruptly, "to feel that you're going to help us in this
+pageant, Sir Evelyn."
+
+"So far as my limited knowledge of the subject goes," said Sir Evelyn,
+a little taken aback, "it is entirely at your disposal, but----"
+
+"Splendid," said Mrs. Eames, "and your knowledge isn't the least
+limited, so don't be modest. I'll get Beth to write articles for every
+paper in England boosting the pageant for all she's worth. That's
+what's called publicity, and it's most important."
+
+"But----" said Sir Evelyn, "excuse my interrupting you, Mrs. Eames,
+but----"
+
+"Don't go on saying but. You're getting nearly as bad as poor Timothy.
+Let's make out a list of what we shall want. Ten smugglers would be
+enough, I should think. Jack Bunce and his son. That's two----" She
+ticked off the Hailey Compton fishermen on her fingers as she named
+them. "Tommy Whittle and his three brothers. The youngest is what's
+called mentally deficient, but that won't matter in a business like
+this. Old George Mullens--his beard will look splendid. Charlie Mees.
+He's lame; but I suppose a smuggler might be lame. How many's that?"
+
+"But," said Sir Evelyn, "oughtn't we to begin by considering----"
+
+"One lugger," Mrs. Eames went on. "It may be a little difficult to
+get a lugger. Ten pack horses. I haven't the least idea what a pack
+horse is, but I suppose an ordinary horse will do if it's dressed up
+properly. Everybody will have to dress up of course. Fifty or sixty
+kegs. I suppose Harrod's will be able to supply us with kegs. They sell
+everything."
+
+"But," said Sir Evelyn desperately, "where's the money to come from?"
+
+"The public, of course," said Mrs. Eames. "The public is going to pay
+enormous sums."
+
+"I was thinking of preliminary expenses," said Sir Evelyn.
+
+"Oh, they won't be much," said Mrs. Eames cheerfully, "and I think
+we'll easily be able to get a grant from some society. Look at the
+number of societies there are which go in for encouraging artistic
+handicrafts for the people. Now don't interrupt me, Sir Evelyn. I know
+just as well as you do that a pageant isn't a handicraft, but it's
+the same sort of thing. It's just as good as folk dancing anyhow, and
+there's always money going for that, and folk songs. We'll introduce
+a folk dance and a few folk songs if necessary. Then there are all the
+people who want to revive national drama. This is national drama."
+
+Sir Evelyn, though inclined to be critical, was impressed. There are
+enormous numbers of people, most of them incorporated into societies,
+who are willing to give money, of which they seem to have more than
+they want, for just such enterprises as Mrs. Eames's. There ought not
+to be any great difficulty about getting at them.
+
+"And of course," said Mrs. Eames, "we can get a grant from the County
+Education Committee."
+
+"That," said Sir Evelyn firmly, "would be totally impossible."
+
+This light-hearted suggestion of pillaging public funds came perilously
+near being an insult when made to a man who was once a Cabinet
+Minister. Sir Evelyn resented it and showed his feelings in his voice.
+Mrs. Eames was in no way abashed.
+
+"I don't see why not," she said. "A pageant is a most educative thing.
+No one can possibly deny that. Lots and lots of money is spent on
+things which aren't nearly so educative as our pageant will be. I mean
+educative in the true sense of the word."
+
+Everyone who says educative and education means the words to be
+understood in this way. The thought of the "true sense" mollified
+Sir Evelyn a little. It soothes everyone who has anything to do with
+education, except the public which has to pay for it. It realises
+that education in the "true sense" is more expensive than any other.
+Mrs. Eames saw that she had produced a good effect and pressed her
+advantage.
+
+"I'm sure we'd get a grant from the committee," she said, "if you asked
+for it."
+
+Sir Evelyn was most uncomfortably conscious that this was true. A
+suggestion from him would go a long way with any County Committee,
+and if he described Mrs. Eames's pageant as an educational enterprise
+everyone would at once believe him. Unfortunately, having been a
+gentleman before he became a politician, he was afflicted with a
+certain sense of honesty.
+
+"It's only a matter of its being put properly to the proper people,"
+said Mrs. Eames persuasively, "and you can do that easily."
+
+"I'd rather give you fifty pounds myself," said Sir Evelyn desperately,
+"than ask for a grant from any public fund."
+
+"How perfectly sweet of you," said Mrs. Eames. "Now there needn't be
+any worry about money. There can't be much more wanted. Timothy will be
+delighted when I tell him. He's always just a little inclined to fuss
+about money, and these things do cost something, don't they? I wish I
+could tell him about your fifty pounds at once and make his mind easy.
+But he's up in the church and I simply daren't disturb him."
+
+"In the church?"
+
+Sir Evelyn was impressed and quite understood that a vicar--admittedly
+on the verge of becoming a saint--ought not to be disturbed while
+engaged in prayer and meditation.
+
+"Locked in," said Mrs. Eames. "He always locks himself into the church
+for a while when I get up anything for the parish. So naughty of him,
+but that's the kind of man he is. However I'll tell him about your
+fifty pounds when he comes home in the evening."
+
+Mrs. Eames was perfectly right in saying that her husband had locked
+himself in. But Sir Evelyn's inference was wrong. Mr. Eames was not
+engaged in devotional exercises. He was reading the works of the
+philosopher Epictetus--a very wise choice of literature, for no writer,
+ancient or modern, has more comfort to offer to those who suffer from
+the worries and minor ills of life. Nervous irritability, impotent
+anger and such afflictions of temper are almost invariably soothed by
+a study of the excellent teaching of Epictetus. Mr. Eames read the
+philosopher in Greek, which is the best way to read him, for no one
+can read Greek very fast, and the necessity of going slowly in order to
+understand the words gives time for the digestion of the matter behind
+them.
+
+There is nothing irreverent or even improper about reading Epictetus
+in church. He was a pagan, but so nearly a Christian that the mediæval
+monks mistook him for one of the fathers of the church and treated his
+works as books of devotion. If the monks of the sainted Middle Ages
+took this view of Epictetus a twentieth century English vicar who reads
+him in church cannot be regarded as profane.
+
+Mr. Eames, owing to the unrestored condition of his church, was able
+to make himself fairly comfortable while reading. Hailey Compton
+parish church was built originally in the Early English style, and was
+refurnished every hundred years or so in accordance with the taste of
+each period. The Victorian churchwardens, when their turn came, filled
+it with large high-backed square pews, put thick cushions on the seats
+and provided footstools for the convenience of worshippers with short
+legs. There were fireplaces in some of the pews and occasionally there
+were arm-chairs. To avoid draughts and secure privacy red curtains
+were hung round the principal pews. The leading idea was the physical
+comfort of the worshippers, and the churchwardens seemed to have held
+with Bishop Blougram that soul was at its best when "body gets its sop
+and holds its noise." No one need be ashamed of being a disciple of
+Bishop Blougram, who was a most successful ecclesiastic, on the way to
+become a Cardinal or perhaps a Pope.
+
+It was in one of these great square pews that Mr. Eames settled down
+with his Epictetus. He shut the door. He drew the curtains. He sat at
+ease in an arm-chair with his outstretched feet on a stool. A thick,
+though dirty carpet covered the floor. A man might have a worse study
+if he were content to read without smoking. When Mr. Eames felt that a
+full appreciation of Epictetus required tobacco he went out and smoked
+a pipe, sitting on a tombstone.
+
+This pew, the largest and best furnished in the church, had its place
+in the chancel, close to the altar rails. It had been dedicated a
+century or so before to the use of the lord of the manor. But for many
+years there had been no lord of the manor or resident squire in Hailey
+Compton. The pew was therefore unused except by the vicar when he
+retired for a while from the turmoil of his wife's activities.
+
+
+
+
+Chapter V
+
+
+It is a depressing fact and something of a disgrace to human nature
+that the efforts of those who try to benefit their neighbours
+are seldom appreciated. Our most active benefactors are generally
+unpopular. Reformers of a serious kind, those who try to rid the world
+of beer, tobacco and the opportunity of betting, no doubt expect to be
+detested, and reckon the dislike they incur as part of the reward of
+their virtue. At all events they richly deserve all they get in the way
+of unpopularity. But it is hard on those much less culpable people who
+merely insist on others amusing themselves in unaccustomed ways that
+their efforts should earn no gratitude.
+
+Mrs. Eames, for instance, had no objection to beer, often smoked
+cigarettes and might have bet small sums if the temptation had come her
+way. She did nothing worse in the village than stir up young men and
+maidens to act plays; which they ought to have liked doing but did not.
+She was not herself unpopular, but her plays were, and the announcement
+that a fresh one was to be started, was received year after year with
+groans from those likely to be implicated, and from the whole community
+with a stolid passive resistance, which only energy as unfailing as
+Mrs. Eames's could possibly have overcome.
+
+She knew all this and fully expected that the pageant prospect would
+be received by the village people with mutterings of revolt. It was.
+Mrs. Eames, who believed in what she called personal influence, made
+a rapid visitation of the village, explained the glories and delights
+of pageants, and was met almost everywhere with gloomy hostility.
+Only James Hinton of the Anchor Inn gave her the least encouragement,
+and even his reception of the project would scarcely have been called
+encouraging except by contrast to the hostility elsewhere. Hinton, at
+least, did not condemn the pageant without hearing what it was to be.
+He questioned Mrs. Eames about it and finally promised to think the
+matter over carefully.
+
+Mrs. Eames summoned a public meeting to consider the pageant and to
+make the necessary arrangements.
+
+This was always her way of proceeding. She liked public meetings
+because they gave her opportunities for making speeches, and she
+believed, like most English people, that a meeting is as necessary to
+an undertaking of any kind as trousers are to a man. There would be
+something indecent about a scheme which came into the world not clothed
+in a resolution of approval, duly passed, not adorned with a properly
+appointed treasurer and secretary.
+
+A Tuesday ten days after Sir Evelyn's visit was fixed for the meeting
+and the schoolroom was chosen as the place of assembly.
+
+Mrs. Eames did not expect a large audience. While discussing the
+meeting beforehand with her husband she was able to predict with
+complete confidence who would be there.
+
+"James Hinton, of course," she said. "He's your churchwarden."
+
+"I suppose he's more or less bound to be there," said the vicar, "to
+represent me. I'm certainly not going."
+
+"Of course not, darling. Everyone knows you hate meetings and you
+wouldn't be any use if you did go. I'm sure the school teachers will be
+there. They always come to all meetings."
+
+The schoolmaster and his two assistant damsels attended Mrs. Eames's
+meetings regularly. The schoolmaster liked proposing resolutions. His
+assistants took it in turns to second anything he proposed.
+
+"And Mrs. Mudge," Mrs. Eames went on, "and Mrs. Purly and----"
+
+She named half a dozen old women, all of them widows, all of them
+mildly pious, with a vague feeling that attendance at any meeting
+summoned by Mrs. Eames was a religious act.
+
+"And some of the schoolboys."
+
+"They only go because they're allowed to shout," said the vicar. "All
+boys love shouting anywhere, and it's particularly pleasant to be able
+to yell in the schoolroom where they generally have to sit quiet."
+
+"Of course they love shouting, poor dears," said Mrs. Eames, "and I
+love to hear them. Besides, Timothy, darling, a meeting is so dull if
+nobody cheers. A speaker does want a little encouragement. Of course
+it wouldn't do--I know quite well it wouldn't do--but all the same I
+often think that most sermons would be better--not yours, Timothy--they
+couldn't be nicer than they are--but most other sermons would be far
+better if the choir boys were allowed to cheer occasionally. They'd
+like it and you can't think how it would encourage the preacher."
+
+"If nobody else goes to your meeting," said the vicar, "and I'm sure
+nobody else will, I don't see what good it is to hold a meeting at
+all."
+
+A surprise, staggering in its unexpectedness, waited for Mrs. Eames
+when she went to her meeting.
+
+The schoolroom was full to its utmost capacity. Indeed it had evidently
+been more than full at some time shortly before the beginning of the
+meeting. The schoolboys had been turned out to make room for their
+elders. Smarting under a sense of injustice they tried to avenge
+themselves by marching round the building and uttering howls of a
+lamentable kind outside every window in turn. The schoolmaster, though
+he deplored their action, refused to interfere, saying that he had no
+authority outside school hours. Others were less scrupulous about their
+legal position. Tommy Whittle, a burly fisherman, went out with a stick
+and was using an argument which the boys thoroughly understood when
+Mrs. Eames arrived. Fortunately for the success of the meeting Tommy
+Whittle had made his meaning perfectly plain to the leading boys before
+he followed Mrs. Eames into the room.
+
+She was obliged to push her way through the door, though everyone
+tried to make way for her. Those who could not find seats were crowded
+together at the bottom of the room, and it was almost impossible
+for them to pack any closer even in order to let Mrs. Eames pass.
+Once well into the room she made a triumphal progress towards the
+platform amidst bursts of cheers, stamping of feet and clapping of
+hands. On the platform, waiting to receive her, were James Hinton and
+the schoolmaster, whom she expected, and, an astonishing sight, Jack
+Bunce, one of the oldest and most influential men in the village,
+fellow churchwarden with James Hinton. He had hitherto been obstinately
+opposed to all Mrs. Eames's activities. All three stood bowing low as
+she advanced towards them.
+
+James Hinton, holding up his hand for silence, proposed that Mrs. Eames
+should take the chair.
+
+This was quite unnecessary. She took it of her own accord, and as a
+matter of accustomed right, as soon as she reached the platform.
+
+Jack Bunce was seen--but owing to the cheering, not heard--to be
+making a short speech. It is likely that he was seconding Hinton's
+proposition, very superfluously indeed, but he may have been saying
+something else. No one ever knew.
+
+The size of the audience and the warmth of her reception amazed Mrs.
+Eames. Never before had she seen the people of Hailey Compton stirred
+to the smallest interest in anything, but there was no doubt about
+their excited enthusiasm over the pageant. When she began to speak they
+cheered every sentence.
+
+"In times past," she said, "we have made several efforts to revive
+drama in our village."
+
+"Three cheers for drama," shouted Tommy Whittle, waving the stick with
+which he had beaten the boys, and the cheers were given.
+
+"Shakespeare----" said Mrs. Eames.
+
+"Three cheers for Shakespeare," said old Jack Bunce, who had always
+hated the plays.
+
+"Shakespeare----" said Mrs. Eames, when the shouting subsided.
+
+"Ladies and gentlemen," said Hinton, interrupting her, "before we go
+further I think that the name of the immortal Shakespeare should be
+received by all standing, in respectful silence."
+
+Only the boys outside broke the silence. They had not been able to hear
+what Hinton said.
+
+Mrs. Eames, despairing perhaps of ever getting any further with that
+part of her speech, dropped Shakespeare abruptly and went on to speak
+of village art in general terms. The applause was loud. She repeated
+one after another things that she had said hundreds of times and always
+to people who neither would nor could understand what she meant. She
+was perhaps no better understood at this wonderful meeting, but what
+she said was certainly approved.
+
+Her eyes gleamed with delight. Her face was flushed with excitement.
+She could feel her heart beating in rapid throbs. But she began to
+get a little hoarse from the effort to make herself heard during the
+cheering. When she had been talking for half an hour, about art, song
+and dance, all of the "folk" or superior kind, the audience began
+to show signs of impatience. Instead of simply cheering, the younger
+men at the back of the room took to shouting "Pageant! Pageant!" They
+pronounced the first syllable as if it rhymed with rage, but there was
+no doubt about what they meant. They wanted to get on, past art of all
+kinds, to the proper business of the meeting.
+
+There was a good deal to say about the pageant. And Mrs. Eames
+had matter enough, if properly spun out, to keep her speech going
+for another hour. She would have enjoyed making an oration of that
+length and no doubt would have done it if her voice had held out.
+Unfortunately for her it failed. Few, if any, human voices would have
+done any better. The contest between a single speaker and a cheering
+crowd is unequal and can only have one end. Mrs. Eames sat down at
+last. Her final words, muttered hoarsely, were, "Smugglers"--"old
+days"--"Hailey Compton"--"hardy breed of seadogs."
+
+The cheers rose in a fine crescendo to a noise which would have made a
+German orchestra playing Wagner's music sound restrained and soothing.
+The people were no doubt very glad that Mrs. Eames had reached the
+end of her speech, but there must have been something more than simple
+relief behind their cheering. The ancestors of these fishermen, their
+grandfathers and great grandfathers a century or so before, had been
+noted smugglers, famous even in an age when everyone in the south
+of England smuggled. The deadening tyranny of a hundred years of
+law and order had tamed and cowed the Bunces and Whittles of to-day,
+but deep down in them was the old spirit. Mrs. Eames had appealed to
+sub-conscious selves with atavistic memories.
+
+The surprises of the evening were not at an end. When Mrs. Eames sat
+down James Hinton rose. He held in his hand a large piece of paper and
+an observer in the audience might have supposed that he intended to
+read a speech. But Hinton had a spirit above manuscript and it was very
+soon evident that the paper contained something far more interesting
+and more amazing than the notes of any speech.
+
+"A pageant," he said gravely and with quiet dignity, "a great pageant,
+a pageant displaying one of the most glorious epochs of our national
+story----" Cheers from such of the audience as had any voices left
+stopped him for a moment. "Such a pageant as we contemplate cannot
+be run without the expenditure of considerable sums in preliminary
+expenses."
+
+At this point of the speech--a point which must be reached in a speech
+made by someone at every meeting convened for a good purpose--the
+audience usually becomes uncomfortable and often begins to melt away.
+But the Hailey Compton people were apparently prepared to face even a
+subscription list. They cheered again. The reason of this confidence
+was apparent almost at once. The subscription list had been handed
+round days before and was already complete.
+
+"I have therefore much pleasure, madam," Hinton went on, bowing low to
+Mrs. Eames, "in presenting to you a guarantee for the sum of £51 2s.
+6d. together with a list of the names of the guarantors of what I may,
+perhaps, call the Pageant Fund."
+
+Mrs. Eames gasped. In all her experience of Hailey Compton--perhaps
+in all the experience of all vicars and vicars' wives of all country
+parishes--no such thing as this had ever happened. With the utmost
+difficulty she had managed to extract sixpences and threepences from
+unwilling people for the expenses of "Macbeth" and "Othello." For
+"Hamlet" she expected to have to pay entirely out of her own pocket.
+Yet here, unasked for and unsought, was more than fifty pounds offered
+to her.
+
+She rose to her feet, tried to find words to express at once gratitude
+and amazement. She choked, swallowed hard, felt slightly faint and
+sat down again abruptly. The emotion of the evening had been too much
+for her. Never before in her whole life had Mrs. Eames been unable
+to express herself in fluent and ready speech. But then she had never
+before come face to face with a miracle.
+
+The people cheered again, hoarsely, but as fervently as ever. This
+time they felt that they were cheering themselves. The £1 2s. 6d.
+represented the subscription of the fishermen to the fund. The fifty
+pounds came from Hinton.
+
+
+
+
+Chapter VI
+
+
+The meeting in the schoolroom lasted far longer than any meeting in
+Hailey Compton had ever lasted before. After all possible speeches
+had been made and votes of thanks proposed to everyone who could be
+supposed to deserve such a compliment and to a good many people who
+could not, there remained the business of enrolling the performers for
+the pageant. This was difficult, for almost everyone present wanted to
+take part, and the boys, successfully kept out until the speeches were
+over, managed after that to force their way in and added greatly to the
+confusion.
+
+It was long after ten o'clock when Mrs. Eames reached home. She hoped
+but scarcely expected to find her husband waiting for her. Mrs. Eames
+was a lady who delighted in talking over everything she did at great
+length, and she had no objection to sitting up until the early hours of
+the morning. Her husband knew this, as he knew most things about her
+after twelve years of married life. He disliked talking, which seemed
+to him a vain amusement, and hated sitting up late. His plan, on the
+occasions of evening meetings, was to go to bed about nine o'clock and
+then pretend to be asleep. On the evening of the pageant meeting he
+really was asleep before his wife came home. This did not altogether
+save him. Mrs. Eames woke him. It was absolutely necessary to her to
+discuss the astonishing events of the evening with someone.
+
+"Dearest one," she said, shaking him gently.
+
+He groaned, turned over and buried his face in the pillow.
+
+"Darling Timothy," she said, "you must wake up for just one minute. I
+want to tell you what happened at the meeting this evening."
+
+She shook him again, not so gently as at first, and he opened his eyes.
+
+"The whole village," she said, "was wildly enthusiastic about the
+pageant, and James Hinton has promised fifty pounds."
+
+The vicar heard her and was almost startled into complete wakefulness.
+But the mind, though it works erratically, does work during the
+interval of half consciousness between waking and sleeping. What Mrs.
+Eames said was entirely incredible. The vicar took it for granted that
+she could not really have said it. He was, he supposed, dreaming a
+dream rather more absurd than most dreams are.
+
+"Yes, yes," he murmured, "how nice."
+
+This seemed to him, still reasoning confusedly, a very good answer to
+make to a dream statement of a particularly foolish kind. It was not
+an answer which satisfied Mrs. Eames. She repeated, in much louder
+tones, her news about the village people. She added details about the
+meeting and described the extraordinary enthusiasm of the audience.
+This time the vicar was almost convinced he was awake and tried to
+make up his mind to sit up and ask questions. But Mrs. Eames repeated
+the statement about James Hinton's fifty pounds and the vicar's reason
+reasserted itself. It could not be true that James Hinton had promised
+fifty pounds to a pageant. If he seemed to hear his wife saying such a
+thing it was plain that he was still asleep and dreaming. With a view
+to getting rid of what threatened to become a nightmare he murmured
+again:
+
+"How nice! How very, very nice!"
+
+Then he turned over again and shut his eyes firmly. Mrs. Eames gave him
+up after that and went down to the kitchen. Gladys, incompetent cook
+and unwilling housemaid, was not the listener she wanted. But Gladys
+would be better than no one, and would be obliged to listen to any
+story, however long, told by her mistress.
+
+Here luck favoured Mrs. Eames. She found in the kitchen not only Gladys
+but the lady whom Gladys called "My auntie," the very lady who had
+made the pancakes for Sir Evelyn Dent. While Gladys fussed about and
+made tea for Mrs. Eames the "auntie" listened with real interest to
+the story of the evening. Her husband was one of those chosen to be
+a smuggler. Her eldest boy had done his full share of the shouting.
+Mrs. Eames was gratified at the interest with which she listened,
+but disappointed when she showed little or no surprise at what had
+happened.
+
+While Mrs. Eames, having more or less exhausted her subject and
+herself, was drinking the tea which Gladys made for her, the "auntie"
+told a story of her own which helped to explain the amazing attitude of
+the villagers towards the pageant. Mrs. Eames was so much interested
+that she actually listened to what was said to her, a thing she very
+rarely did.
+
+According to the "auntie," the village people had been at first just
+as strongly opposed to the pageant as to any of the plays. But James
+Hinton had talked long to several of the leading men, to Jack Bunce,
+his fellow churchwarden, to the elder Whitty and others. No one knew
+exactly what he said, for the conversations were held in private in
+Hinton's own sitting-room at hours when the bar was not open to the
+public. The result, whatever was said, was surprising. One after
+another the leading men of the village declared themselves in favour of
+the pageant. They told their sons and daughters and other dependents
+to do exactly what Mrs. Eames bade them, exactly as they were bidden
+and promptly. If there was any disobedience the consequences would be
+serious and unpleasant.
+
+"But," said the "auntie," "young men aren't what they were when I was
+a girl. Nor the girls aren't either." Here she scowled at Gladys. "And
+as likely as not the thing they're bidden to do is just what they won't
+do though they would have if they hadn't been bidden."
+
+Fortunately there was another influence which could be and was brought
+to bear on the young men. James Hinton was admittedly the richest man
+in the village and wealth is power everywhere in the world. When he
+came to Hailey Compton and took over the inn from the executor of the
+previous owner, he had re-painted, re-decorated, and largely re-built
+the house. He had, moreover, paid cash without hesitation or grumbling
+for everything that was done. Never in living memory had so much money
+been spent in the village on building and furnishing. It therefore
+seemed possible, and indeed likely, that Hinton might spend more money
+and that made everyone anxious to be on good terms with him. He was
+also, from the point of view of the village men, a model landlord for
+their only inn. The beer and cider which he sold were good, of a much
+better quality than they had been before he came. He was willing to
+extend credit to those who, though thirsty, had no ready money. He
+seldom pressed for the payment of accounts, even when they were large
+and long overdue. He was willing to accept mortgages on cottages and
+gardens, even mortgages on future catches of fish, as satisfactory
+discharges of debts.
+
+A man to whom half the community owes money, to whom the other half
+expects to owe money very soon, is in a strong position. If he chooses
+to support any cause there will be little opposition. When James
+Hinton, having persuaded the older men that the pageant was desirable,
+said the same thing without explanation to the young men and maidens,
+all real opposition vanished.
+
+This was the "auntie's" account of what had happened. Mrs. Eames
+accepted it as an explanation of everything except James Hinton's
+attitude. That remained a mystery.
+
+It was true, as the "auntie," a shrewd woman, suggested, that James
+Hinton might make a good deal of money out of the pageant, if it were
+a success.
+
+"If there were a lot of people came to Hailey Compton in them there
+charabancs----"
+
+"And there will be," said Mrs. Eames eagerly. "Hundreds of people will
+come. Thousands. And they'll all have to go to the Anchor Inn for lunch
+and tea. There's nowhere else they can go."
+
+"And James Hinton can charge what he pleases," said the "auntie."
+
+"I see that," said Mrs. Eames. "He'll make money out of it. That's it."
+
+To anyone with Mrs. Eames's faith in the ultimate success of the
+pageant, the explanation should have been completely satisfying. James
+Hinton had promised what he would never be called upon to pay, with the
+certainty that his promise secured him the opportunity of earning large
+sums. To anyone less enthusiastic than Mrs. Eames, Hinton's guarantee
+would have looked like a desperate speculation. If the pageant cost a
+good deal, as it would, and then failed to attract a large audience, he
+would have to pay and would stand no chance of recouping himself. Even
+to Mrs. Eames this view of Hinton's action presented itself all the
+more clearly because she knew the man and was firmly convinced that he
+would never allow himself to be swayed by altruism. His guarantee, in
+spite of the explanation offered, remained a puzzle.
+
+"It's time," said the "auntie," "for me to be getting home along."
+
+She had drunk her share of the tea. She had heard all that Mrs. Eames
+had to say, thereby providing herself with a store of authentic gossip
+which would make her an important person in the village next day.
+
+Mrs. Eames chased the unwilling Gladys to bed, having very little
+hope that the girl would be up in time to light the kitchen fire
+next morning. Girls, especially girls with Gladys's disposition, are
+exceedingly sleepy at six o'clock in the morning if they have sat up
+till nearly midnight the night before.
+
+Then Mrs. Eames went to bed herself and slept soundly, untroubled by
+the problem of James Hinton's support of the pageant. She had long
+learnt the folly of worrying over the "whys" of things, especially
+satisfactory things. James Hinton had done what she herself could
+never have done nearly so well. He had persuaded the whole village to
+take up the smuggling pageant with enthusiasm. That was a fact of the
+most agreeable kind. Why poke into the reasons of it? James Hinton
+had promised fifty pounds, and, an almost more astonishing thing, had
+induced the village people to promise one pound two and sixpence. These
+also were facts. With them, as a sensible woman, she was more than
+content. It would, indeed, have been nice to know just why James Hinton
+had offered his money and how he expected to make anything substantial
+out of the business. But the problem was not one which could keep Mrs.
+Eames awake.
+
+
+
+
+Chapter VII
+
+
+The next day was a busy one for Mrs. Eames.
+
+It began with a demand from Gladys for a whole holiday. Her plea was
+that it was absolutely necessary for her to consult with her "auntie"
+on matters of grave family importance. She had spent a whole day the
+week before and two half-days in the course of a fortnight in the same
+way; and the "auntie" had been in the vicarage kitchen for several
+hours on all the other days. As an excuse for asking for another
+holiday the family consultation would not have impressed the simplest
+and most inexperienced mistress, and Mrs. Eames was no fool. She
+understood exactly what Gladys wanted her holiday for.
+
+The whole village was seething with mild excitement over the meeting
+of the night before. Gossip of the most fascinating kind was flying
+from lip to ear at every cottage door. The most wild and improbable
+tales were being listened to with perfect belief. No girl would like
+to be shut up by herself in a kitchen while such joys were to be found
+outside. And Gladys, with her intimate knowledge of all that happened
+in the vicarage, would be welcome anywhere. She would be in a position
+to command the attention of thrilled audiences whatever she chose to
+say.
+
+Mrs. Eames thoroughly understood this. Being a kind-hearted woman,
+full of sympathy with anyone who enjoyed excitement, she gave Gladys a
+holiday without a murmur.
+
+This was not so difficult for her as it would have been for many
+mistresses. The vicar went off soon after breakfast with a package of
+sandwiches in his pocket. There was therefore no cooking to be done
+for him. Mrs. Eames never cooked for herself when left alone. She did
+not even lay a table for herself or go to the trouble of getting out
+plates, knives or forks. Her plan, a very sensible one, was to eat
+whatever she could find whenever she felt hungry, generally without
+even sitting down. When Gladys walked off in a white skirt and a pink
+silk jumper, Mrs. Eames had to make the beds and wash up the breakfast
+things. Otherwise the want of a servant left her with little or no
+extra work.
+
+She was washing up cups and plates when she caught sight through the
+pantry window of James Hinton. Many vicars' wives, obliged to keep
+up the difficult pretence that they live as ladies, would have been
+embarrassed at being discovered in an apron, with sleeves rolled
+up, over a pantry sink, by a visitor like Hinton. But Mrs. Eames was
+entirely free from any taint of snobbishness. She would have gone on
+ironing clothes in front of her drawing-room fire if a duchess had
+called on her while so occupied. She greeted Hinton through the window
+and invited him to walk straight into the pantry.
+
+Hinton's manners were as good as hers. Instead of expressing surprise
+or contempt, instead of offering any kind of excuse or apology for
+Mrs. Eames's occupation, he took his place beside the sink, picked up
+a glass-cloth and dried the vessels which Mrs. Eames handed to him. He
+did not even allow it to appear by a glance or a sniff that he found
+the cloth he used disgustingly dirty, though it was, being one of those
+of which Gladys had charge. It was not in vain that Hinton had lived
+as footman and valet in some of the best houses in England. He had
+acquired the manners of a great gentleman.
+
+While they worked together, Hinton explained the objects of his visit.
+It was, in his opinion, desirable to secure as many influential patrons
+as possible for the pageant.
+
+"Of course," said Mrs. Eames, "we've got to advertise, and there are
+only two ways of doing that. Either we've got to spend a lot of money,
+which we haven't got--though your guarantee was extremely generous. It
+quite took my breath away."
+
+"A trifle, madam," said Hinton, drying a plate carefully, "a mere
+trifle."
+
+"It wasn't a trifle at all," said Mrs. Eames, "but it won't run to a
+whole page advertisement in a daily paper. Luckily there's another way
+of advertising. My niece, Miss Appleby, told me about it. You know her,
+don't you?"
+
+Hinton had never met Beth Appleby, but was quite prepared to listen to
+her views about advertising.
+
+"The thing to do," said Mrs. Eames, brandishing a dripping cloth, "is
+to get names that advertise themselves."
+
+Hinton took the fork from her gently and wiped it with Gladys's dirty
+cloth.
+
+"Quite so, madam."
+
+"If you get the proper names," said Mrs. Eames, "the newspapers will
+put in paragraphs about them without being paid. That's what my niece
+says."
+
+"Having lived in many of the best houses in England," said Hinton, "I
+may say that I am aware of the advertisement value of our aristocracy."
+
+"It's not only the aristocracy. Politicians are just as good. Actresses
+are probably better. Even authors--there are one or two authors----"
+
+"I thought, madam," said Hinton, "that we might begin by securing the
+name of the bishop of the diocese."
+
+Mrs. Eames sniffed. The bishop was a man of unblemished integrity,
+of kindly disposition, of respectable scholarship, but he did not
+strike her as having what Hinton described as "advertisement value."
+He had never denied the truth of any article in the Apostles'
+Creed. He did not preach in Methodist Chapels, or if he did made no
+public boast about it. He had never prosecuted any of his clergy for
+excessive devotion to catholicism. These are the only ways in which an
+ecclesiastic can attract public attention to himself, that is to say
+the only ways of acquiring "advertisement value."
+
+"I don't see," said Mrs. Eames, "that the bishop would be much good to
+us."
+
+Hinton bowed a submissive acquiescence in her opinion.
+
+"I'm sure you know best, madam."
+
+"My idea," said Mrs. Eames, "would be to start with Sir Evelyn Dent.
+He has promised to support us and I'm sure he'll have no objection to
+the use of his name as a patron. An ex-Cabinet Minister with a title!
+Don't forget the title, Hinton. And he has an honourable all of his own
+besides the knighthood."
+
+"Sir Evelyn," said Hinton, "might perhaps secure the support of the
+present earl."
+
+"Present earl? Oh, of course, his nephew, Lord Colavon. Yes. He would
+be quite good. An earl is an earl of course, but except for being
+an earl he's nothing particular, is he? I mean to say he's not well
+known."
+
+"Not in political or literary circles, madam. The tastes of the present
+earl are understood to be sporting and dramatic."
+
+"Dramatic!" Mrs. Eames became suddenly interested.
+
+Hinton was drying the last saucer. Mrs. Eames, the task of washing up
+finished, was rubbing her dripping hands on her apron.
+
+"Scarcely dramatic in the higher sense of the word," said Hinton. "The
+tastes of the present earl are rather in the direction of comic opera."
+
+"He won't do us any harm, I suppose," said Mrs. Eames, "and I dare say
+Sir Evelyn will get him for us. Now who else would you suggest?"
+
+"Did I mention the bishop, madam?"
+
+"You did. And I said I didn't see what use the bishop would be. In
+fact he'd be worse than no use. If the public sees the name of a bishop
+at the head of a list of patrons it naturally thinks that the show is
+going to be a Diocesan Conference or something of the sort and simply
+stays away."
+
+Again Hinton gave way, or appeared to give way.
+
+"It might be advantageous, madam," he said, "if we secured the name of
+some gentleman prominently connected with the customs and excise."
+
+Hinton's ideas of suitable patrons were certainly odd. A custom house
+officer, though a useful and generally an active civil servant, is not
+the sort of man whose name often appears in the newspapers.
+
+"The name of a custom house officer on our list of patrons," Hinton
+explained, "would convince the public that our pageant is entirely
+_bona fide_."
+
+"But what else could it be? You don't mean to suggest that we should
+really smuggle things?"
+
+"Of course not, madam, but the public is sometimes very unintelligent,
+and----"
+
+"No public could possibly be as stupid as that."
+
+The cups and plates were by this time restored to their shelves in the
+pantry. Hinton, having discovered a leather, was giving an unaccustomed
+polish to the spoons and forks.
+
+"I only suggested a customs officer," he said, "because I thought that
+if he became interested he might arrange for some of his subordinates
+to take part in the pageant, as preventive officers, capturing
+the smugglers and the lugger. That's simply an idea. Of course the
+management of the dramatic side of the pageant is entirely in your
+hands."
+
+"It's a jolly good idea. Real coastguards--but of course there aren't
+any now. Real preventive officers riding down the hill just in time
+to---- Or coming in a revenue cutter and firing on the lugger. I wonder
+if we could get them. Oh, do stop polishing those spoons, Hinton. It
+fidgets me to see you. Come into the vicar's study and talk over this
+idea of yours."
+
+"Perhaps," said Hinton as they left the room, "there are some other
+household duties of which I could relieve you. I think you may safely
+trust me. I have had considerable experience in some of the best houses
+in England."
+
+"If you like to help me to make the vicar's bed," said Mrs. Eames, "I
+don't mind."
+
+"I shall be most happy," said Hinton, "but I beg of you, madam, to
+leave it entirely to me. If you will await me in the study----"
+
+He held the door open for her and when he had shown her into the room
+went upstairs. But Mrs. Eames was not a lady who could sit still for
+very long, especially with an exciting idea in her mind. The thought
+of securing real customs officers thrilled her. After wandering about
+the room for some minutes she followed Hinton upstairs. She found him
+brushing an old and dilapidated pair of the vicar's trousers.
+
+"Do you happen to know any customs officers?" she asked.
+
+Hinton folded the trousers with careful exactness and put them in a
+drawer.
+
+"Not personally, madam. But no doubt I can find out who the local head
+of that service is."
+
+"Then do," said Mrs. Eames. "I'll leave that in your hands."
+
+"And the bishop?" said Hinton. "Perhaps it would be better if you or
+the vicar were to approach the bishop."
+
+Hinton was stropping the vicar's razor with vigour and skill.
+
+"How you do nag on about the bishop!" said Mrs. Eames. "Please leave
+that razor alone. The vicar cuts himself often enough as it is and if
+you go making it too sharp he may give himself a dangerous gash. Why
+on earth are you so keen on the bishop? I've no objection to bishops of
+course, and if there's any real reason---- It's no use expecting him to
+read the funeral service over a smuggler shot by a coastguard. I quite
+see that would be most effective but no bishop would do it."
+
+"The idea in my mind----" said Hinton, who was arranging the vicar's
+toothbrush and sponge neatly on the washing stand.
+
+He went on to give his reasons for wishing to secure the bishop as a
+patron.
+
+Bishops, so he explained, inspire great confidence in the public, which
+is always a little afraid of being let in for something improper or a
+little dubious.
+
+"If we were concerned only with the aristocracy, madam, it would
+be a different matter. If I may say so, speaking after many years'
+experience of the upper classes, there would be no objection whatever
+to a hint, a suggestion of the risqué."
+
+"But, good gracious, Hinton, we're not going to do anything in the
+least risqué as you call it."
+
+"Certainly not, madam. Most assuredly not. But the public--the general
+public apart from the aristocracy and outside of literary and artistic
+circles--the public which we wish to attract, is very suspicious."
+
+Mrs. Eames did not believe that any public could possibly suspect her
+pageant of being improper. But Hinton insisted that he was right and
+that their only security lay in having at least one bishop among their
+patrons.
+
+"Very well," she said at last, "I'll leave the list of patrons entirely
+to you, Hinton. Get that sporting earl of yours if you can. Get a
+few of his musical comedy actresses too. Get a bishop and a couple of
+custom house officers. Get the local police if you like."
+
+"Thank you, madam. Will you approach the bishop or shall I see the
+vicar about it?"
+
+"You'd better do it yourself. As a churchwarden you've a perfect right
+to tackle a bishop. And anyway I'm sure the vicar won't, though he
+ought to after the way you've folded his trousers for him and stropped
+his razor. All I ask is that if you have a committee meeting of your
+patrons----"
+
+"There will not, I imagine, madam, be any necessity for that."
+
+"Well, if there is," said Mrs. Eames, "you may take the chair at it
+yourself, for I won't."
+
+
+
+
+Chapter VIII
+
+
+Although Battersea is far from being a fashionable part of London there
+are pleasant little flats to be had there, overlooking the park, for
+those who are indifferent to the advantages of a smart address.
+
+One of these is shared by Beth Appleby and her friend Mary Lambert.
+Beth Appleby makes an unsatisfying income by casual journalism, relying
+chiefly on the small but regular payments made by a syndicating agency
+for a weekly letter on London life. This is widely circulated in
+provincial papers. Miss Lambert dances fairly well and sings badly.
+She obtains engagements of uncertain duration in revues and musical
+comedies. There are times when she envies the steady weekly income
+paid to her friend by the syndicators. There are other times when Beth
+Appleby thinks that dancing is a better way of earning a living than
+writing. Pens may be mightier than swords, but legs are often more
+profitable than either.
+
+The two girls were together in their flat one sunny morning at the end
+of May, just such a morning as makes young people long for pleasure and
+makes work of every kind extremely irksome, and, for most of us--though
+the thing seems self-contradictory--the want of work more irksome
+still.
+
+Beth was at her writing-table, her pen in her hand, a sheet of paper in
+front of her. She had written the words "Lilith lisps" and then come
+to a dead stop. This was not surprising. Lilith had already lisped
+four times since breakfast. Beth lacked matter for a fifth and, like
+Rosalind's orator in a similar case, felt strongly inclined to spit.
+
+Mary lay back in the most comfortable chair in the room with her feet
+on another. She had a cigarette between her fingers which she put to
+her lips occasionally but without much satisfaction. She was meditating
+disconsolately on the failure of the last show in which she had danced,
+a disaster which brought her face to face with the difficult task of
+getting another engagement.
+
+"I wonder," said Beth irritably, "if there's anything in the world left
+for Lilith to lisp about."
+
+"There's me," said Mary. "'Lilith lisps that Miss Lambert, the charming
+young danseuse who has won the hearts of London playgoers, is thinking
+of accepting a tempting offer to go to New York.'"
+
+"I'd do that and more for you, Mary, dear," said Beth, "if I thought
+it would be the slightest use. But it wouldn't. Lilith's delightful
+lispings aren't read by anybody except the wives and daughters of
+greengrocers in Muddleborough and such places."
+
+"A provincial engagement would be better than nothing."
+
+"Besides," said Beth, "Lilith can't be always lisping about you.
+It's only a fortnight ago that I had you 'robed in a novel and daring
+creation' at a garden party given by Jimmy. He was rather stuffy about
+it afterwards. He said that if any of his aunts had seen the paragraph
+they'd have been down on him for not asking them to the party. I rather
+think he was afraid that if I wrote anything more of the kind he might
+be forced to give a garden party."
+
+Jimmy--spoken of in this familiar way by both girls--is the Earl of
+Colavon, of whom James Hinton said that his tastes were sporting and
+dramatic.
+
+"Let's invent another new frock," said Mary. "Next to having one, which
+I can't, the most amusing thing would be to imagine what it would be
+like if I could. I'll give you the details. All you have to do is to
+say that you saw me in it at a reception in Lambeth Palace, given by
+the Bishop of London."
+
+"It's the Archbishop of Canterbury who lives at Lambeth."
+
+"All the better. It sounds far grander for poor little me and less
+likely to be contradicted. An archbishop can't possibly know who wears
+what at his receptions. And, anyhow, he'll never read anything you
+write, Beth, darling."
+
+"I'll tell you what I'll do for you if you like," said Beth. "I'll make
+Lilith lisp that you're one of the patrons of Aunt Agatha's pageant.
+She's got a bishop, so you really might be asked to a reception in a
+palace. And she's got Sir Evelyn Dent. What she wants now are a few
+literary and artistic stars to brighten things up a bit."
+
+"I'll do that all right for her, if she'll give me a decent contract
+and pay for rehearsals."
+
+"I don't fancy Aunt Agatha can pay anybody for anything."
+
+"Well, I'm not going into it for the love of art; but if you can put
+my name down as a patron it might be some use. Almost any kind of ad.
+pays, and it isn't every day I get the chance of appearing in print
+alongside of a bishop and a Prime Minister. Sir Evelyn Dent is Jimmy's
+uncle, isn't he? And he used to be Prime Minister."
+
+"Not quite," said Beth, "but as near as doesn't matter."
+
+"What's the thing about? English history, I suppose. If it's Fair
+Rosamund we might work in a dance. I could do something graceful in a
+long skirt which wouldn't shock the bishop, holding the cup of poison
+in my hand. Your aunt could be Queen Eleanor if she liked. I'd do it
+for ten pounds and exes."
+
+"Nothing doing in that way, I'm afraid," said Beth. "It's about
+smugglers."
+
+"Well, there's that Nautch Girl dance of mine. It's not bad at all.
+And if your aunt can't pay I dare say Jimmy could screw a tenner out of
+that uncle of his. It would be quite worth it to the show. No feeling
+of stuffiness about that dance. I should think that pirates--you said
+pirates, didn't you?"
+
+"Smugglers."
+
+"Much the same thing. Smugglers or pirates are sure to be mixed up with
+nautch girls, whatever they are. Or at all events girls of some kind.
+I don't mind calling it a geisha dance if they like. I could borrow a
+kimono."
+
+"'Lilith lisps,'" said Beth, taking her pen again, "'that among the
+patrons of the Hailey Compton Smuggling Pageant is Miss Mary Lambert,
+whose Nautch Girl dance has just delighted London. The wide appeal
+made by this pageant--the most magnificently staged show ever produced
+in England--will be understood when it is realised that among those
+interested, besides Miss Mary Lambert, are Sir Evelyn Dent, the
+Bishop of ...' remind me afterwards to find out what he's bishop of.
+'And....' Now did Aunt Agatha mention anyone else? I can't remember.
+Anyhow, we'll put in Jimmy. He won't mind. 'The Earl of Colavon, whose
+name stands _facile princeps_ among our sporting peers of the younger
+generation.' Thank heaven, there's another lisp. That makes five. If
+I'd three more I'd be through with the beastly things for this week,
+and I'd take you out on top of a bus to Kew or somewhere to get a
+breath of fresh air."
+
+Fortune was kind to Beth Appleby. While she was still biting the end
+of her pen Lord Colavon came into the room. He brought with him an air
+of breezy cheerfulness, very like the weather outside, and a gaiety
+natural enough in one who was not compelled to write weekly "lispings"
+for his daily bread and ran no risk of losing his income through the
+failure of an apathetic public to appreciate a Nautch Girl dance.
+
+"Jimmy," said Beth, "help me out."
+
+"The precise thing I've come to do," said Jimmy. "New 8-cylinder Pallas
+Athene, sports model, guaranteed 70 miles an hour on the road, did
+over 100 at Brooklands, stands panting at the door. Dine at Oxford.
+Dine at York. Dine anywhere you like. Home by moonlight. Is there a
+moon? Must be a moon in May. 'The young May moon is beaming, love.'
+The poet wouldn't have said that if there wasn't a moon in May. Dashed
+particular about facts, poets have to be."
+
+"Oh, Jimmy," said Mary. "Just wait one minute till we get on our hats.
+Come, Beth."
+
+But Beth Appleby had a conscience, or that fairly satisfactory
+substitute for a conscience, a sense of prudence. Lilith's Lispings had
+to be posted that night, or there would be no cheque at the end of the
+week. And Lilith had only achieved six poor lisps.
+
+"Can't be done," she said, "simply can't. Unless you can help me out
+with Lilith, Jimmy."
+
+Lord Colavon's tastes were sporting and dramatic, but he was not
+altogether ignorant of our current literature. Thanks to an intimacy of
+some years with Beth Appleby, he knew all about Lilith's lispings and
+had often suggested valuable ideas. He did not fail now.
+
+"What about the Pallas Athene?" he said. "Absolutely the latest thing.
+Triumph of British engineering. Revelation of speed possibility of road
+travel. See company's catalogue, free on application."
+
+"'Lilith lisps,'" Beth wrote rapidly, "'that the _dernier cri_ in motor
+luxury is the----' what did you call it, Jimmy?"
+
+"Pallas Athene. Sports model."
+
+Beth wrote down Pallas Athene and then went on:
+
+"'The upholstery is of delicately tinted Russia leather, equally suited
+to the light fabric of a summer frock and the rich glow of winter
+furs.'"
+
+"Hold on," said Jimmy. "There's no use misleading the good old public.
+It's an 8-cylinder sports model, not a bus for going out to dinner in
+at night."
+
+"What I've got to do," said Beth, "is to write something that'll
+thrill my readers. Lilith doesn't get into motor garages, and isn't
+read by mechanics. She lisps in the chaste parlours of the ladies of
+the provincial middle classes. What they like to hear about is the
+upholstery. They don't care a rap about cylinders."
+
+"Oh, well, say what you jolly well like about the car, but it will be
+awkward for me if one of my aunts, or good old Uncle Evie, who might
+almost as well be an aunt, went and bought the car expecting it to be
+the sort of gentle family pet which purrs when stroked."
+
+"I suppose," said Beth, writing fast, "that you will have no objection
+to my saying that you were seen getting out of the car outside a club
+in St. James's?"
+
+"None in the world," said Jimmy. "You can say any mortal thing you like
+about me, Beth, so long as you get through with that beastly writing of
+yours and come out for a spin."
+
+"I've got you down already, along with Mary and Sir Evelyn and some
+bishop or other, as a patron of Aunt Agatha's pageant."
+
+"I say, is that the thing Uncle Evie is so keen on? I'd a letter from
+him the other day, asking me if I knew of a lugger which could be hired
+by the week or bought cheap."
+
+"Good," said Beth. "I'll make a paragraph about that. 'Apropos of the
+Hailey Compton Pageant, Lilith lisps that the harbours of England are
+being searched for a genuine eighteenth century lugger. Lord Colavon,
+who, besides being a keen motorist, is a distinguished yachtsman----'"
+
+"But, I say, what's the old pageant about? That's what I want to know,
+and being a patron I think I've a right to ask."
+
+"Smuggling," said Beth. "But for goodness' sake don't interrupt. If I'm
+to get these lispings done at all I simply must stick at it."
+
+"I don't believe Uncle Evie is going to smuggle. He's not sportsman
+enough."
+
+Mary Lambert, fully dressed for the motor run, slipped into the room in
+time to hear Jimmy's defence of his uncle's character.
+
+"If he won't," she said, "I wish somebody else would. The price of silk
+stockings is scandalous, and unless something is done about it poor
+girls like me won't be able to live at all. It seems to me, Jimmy, that
+it's your plain duty to do a little smuggling in the interests of the
+profession. Other people may be able to get on without silk. We can't.
+It's a business necessity."
+
+Jimmy sat silent for a minute or two, meditating on Mary's proposal.
+Then he suddenly addressed Beth.
+
+"Nearly finished? For if you're not too breathless to listen I've got
+a scheme to propose."
+
+"Give me one more lisp," said Beth, "and I'm yours for a thousand miles
+in the Russia leather Pallas Athene, all meals _en route_ provided
+free."
+
+"What I was just going to suggest," said Jimmy, "is that we should run
+down and dine with Uncle Evie, just to find out about this smuggling
+stunt of his."
+
+"I should be terrified out of my life," said Mary. "I'm not accustomed
+to Cabinet Ministers, or for the matter of that to titled aristocrats,
+except you, Jimmy, and nobody would ever take you for an earl."
+
+"You needn't be the least bit nervous," said Jimmy. "Uncle Evie is a
+bit boring at times, but he wouldn't frighten a ten-year-old orphan.
+We'll send him a wire to say we're coming."
+
+"Jimmy," said Beth, "you're priceless! That's another lisp. Absolutely
+a topper. 'I had the good fortune to be present a few evenings ago at
+an informal little _al fresco_ dinner given by Sir Evelyn Dent in his
+fascinating thirteenth century moated grange----'"
+
+"There's no moat," said Jimmy, "and it's a Manor House."
+
+"What does that matter?" said Beth. "It's old, I suppose. People like
+your uncle always live in old houses."
+
+"It's old, all right," said Jimmy.
+
+"Then moated grange is the proper thing to call it when writing the
+Lispings of Lilith, but if you really prefer it I don't mind calling it
+an historic pile. 'Sir Evelyn, a dignified and gracious----' What's the
+masculine of 'châtelaine,' Jimmy?"
+
+"'Château,' I should think," said Jimmy, "but don't call poor old Uncle
+Evie that. He'd hate it."
+
+"'Sir Evelyn,'" said Beth, writing as she spoke, "'who between
+ourselves----' I mean to say '_entre nous_ is something of a _grand
+seigneur_.'"
+
+"I know I'll be petrified with terror," said Mary. "A _grand seigneur_
+in a moated grange."
+
+"'Among the guests,'" Beth went on, "'was the Earl of Colavon, who was
+wearing the famous diamond studs which have been in the family since
+Henry VIII gave them to Anne Boleyn, who was, as everybody knows, one
+of the ancestors of the Dents,'"
+
+"Hang it all, Beth," said Jimmy, "I don't mind your making a fool of
+me in any ordinary way, but a fellow must draw the line somewhere. Why
+can't you say that Uncle Evie wore the diamond studs?"
+
+"I'm putting him down for the Garter Ribbon," said Beth, "so you must
+have the diamond studs. Though I don't mind making them pearl if you'd
+rather. You simply must give the public what it wants if you go in for
+literature at all."
+
+"Well, hurry up," said Jimmy. "It's all of 180 miles down to Uncle
+Evie's moated grange and I shall have to push the sports model along a
+bit if we're to get there for the _al fresco_ dinner."
+
+"Five minutes more and I've finished," said Beth. "'The conversation
+after dinner turned on---- Now what do you think, belovedest? Politics?
+Wrong. Science? Wrong. Guess again. Well, if you won't, let us whisper:
+silk stockings. But you'd have guessed that, wouldn't you? if I'd
+mentioned that Miss Mary Lambert was one of the party.'"
+
+"I won't have it," said Mary. "As if I'd dare to talk about silk
+stockings to a _grand seigneur_. Tell her not to, Jimmy."
+
+"Not much use my telling Beth anything. Besides, we are going to talk
+about silk stockings, aren't we? I mean to say, that's the general idea
+of the party--smuggling and so forth."
+
+"Thank Heaven, I've finished," said Beth. "I'll just run and change
+my frock, and then we'll see what the Pallas Athene can do along the
+roads."
+
+"If anybody talks about silk stockings," said Mary when Beth had left
+the room, "it'll have to be you, Jimmy. I simply daren't to a man like
+your uncle."
+
+"But that's what we're going to see Uncle Evie about. What I mean to
+say is this: we want to get all the particulars about this smuggling
+stunt of his, whether there's any chance of fitting in a little of the
+real thing. It all depends, you know. But if we could manage to get in
+a few dozen pairs of silk stockings under cover of the pageant it'd be
+all to the good for you and Beth, wouldn't it?"
+
+"Jimmy," said Mary, "you're an angel!"
+
+"I don't promise anything. It all depends on how Uncle Evie's working
+the thing. If he leaves the lugger part of the show in my hands----
+Didn't Beth say there was a bishop in it? You can do pretty nearly
+anything if you're holding hands with a bishop. Nobody ever suspects
+you. Besides, he might be a sportsman himself--the bishop, I mean. Some
+are, I'm told. Anyhow, I don't suppose he'd have any objection to a
+case of champagne. If he didn't care to drink it himself he could give
+it away to poor parsons in the diocese."
+
+
+
+
+Chapter IX
+
+
+For the first hundred and thirty miles or so of the journey the Pallas
+Athene did all that could be expected of an eight-cylinder sports model
+driven by a young man who did not shrink from paying an occasional
+fine. The needle of the speedometer often flickered past the sixty
+miles mark. The average speed fell little short of double that which
+our legislators--the same people who made the laws about beer--consider
+sufficient. Ilchester was reached in less than four hours. Jimmy,
+slowing down slightly through the long narrow street of the village,
+congratulated himself and his passengers on the achievement.
+
+"I call that a satisfactory record so far," he said, "and we haven't
+killed or maimed so much as a dog, which just shows the advantage of
+careful driving."
+
+He congratulated himself too soon. The inhabitants of Ilchester,
+indeed, escaped with their lives. Three main roads unite to run through
+their village, so they have learnt to be exceedingly alert and active.
+Lord Colavon had not so much as a broken collar-bone on his conscience
+when he pressed his foot on the accelerator at the end of the village.
+But a few miles along the road the engine began to give trouble. Jimmy
+was perfectly sure that he knew what was the matter with it. He spent
+ten minutes in oily work with a spanner. After that, things became
+rapidly worse. Noises of the most terrifying kind became frequent, and
+it was no longer possible to persuade the Pallas Athene to do more than
+thirty miles an hour on a level stretch of road.
+
+Jimmy, less confident than he had been that he knew what was the
+matter, left his direct road and went to Taunton. There he sought help
+in a garage while the two girls had tea. The mechanic, an intelligent
+and competent man, shook his head over the Pallas Athene. He preferred
+a soberer and more reliable kind of car, even if it could not be driven
+very fast. In his opinion it would be folly to go on any farther, and
+he spoke vaguely of telegraphing to the makers of the car for some
+spare parts.
+
+"Spare parts be damned," said Jimmy. "That means waiting here for the
+best part of a week."
+
+The mechanic could not deny that the getting of spare parts is often
+a tedious business, especially--here he glanced with dislike at the
+Pallas Athene--"from the makers of cars like that."
+
+"Can't you patch her up somehow," said Jimmy, "so that I can push on
+another forty or fifty miles? I haven't much more than that to do."
+
+"I can patch her up," said the mechanic, "but there's no man living can
+tell how far she'll run afterwards."
+
+Being a cautious man, experienced in the ways of motor-cars, he
+refused, even when pressed, to give any exact estimate of the distance
+which the patched Pallas Athene might run. The only thing he regarded
+as certain was that she would break down completely in the end.
+
+"It might be two miles out of the town," he said, "or it might be a
+hundred."
+
+"Do the best you can with her while I'm getting a cup of tea," said
+Jimmy. "Then fill up her tank and give her a pint of oil. I'll risk
+it."
+
+The behaviour of the Pallas Athene after leaving Taunton was excellent.
+It may have been that the hour's rest in the garage revived her.
+More probably she was pleased by the attention she received from the
+mechanic. All women, even dignified Greek goddesses, like being fussed
+over and petted. Jimmy was moderate in his demands for speed and
+did not demand anything more than what he called "a funeral trot" of
+thirty-five miles an hour. Exeter was passed successfully, and the time
+came when the main road must be left for the last stage of the journey.
+
+Jimmy, gaining confidence, ran at a fair speed up and down some abrupt
+hills on roads marked on the maps in inferior colours, occasionally not
+coloured at all. On a lonely open stretch of one of what the map makers
+describe as "other metalled roads, narrow," the breakdown, prophesied
+by the Taunton mechanic, came. Without so much as a warning shriek or
+a death rattle the Pallas Athene gasped and stopped.
+
+Jimmy did all that a man could do. He lay on his back and screwed
+nuts. He lay on his side and screwed other nuts. He crawled on his
+stomach. He knelt, stooped, crouched, tapped and hammered. Like the
+good Samaritan, he poured in oil and would have poured in wine too if
+he had had any. Beth and Mary encouraged him and tried to help him.
+They spread a whole kit of tools out on a bank on the side of the road
+and very soon learned to distinguish between a double-ended spanner, a
+box spanner and an adjustable spanner, often handed the right weapon to
+Jimmy without giving him a wrong one more than a couple of times first.
+
+"Well I'm damned if I know what's wrong," said Jimmy, after an hour's
+experimental effort. "If only the wretched thing had held out another
+quarter of an hour we'd have been there, we can't be more than seven
+or eight miles from Morriton St. James, and Uncle Evie's house is just
+outside."
+
+"Couldn't Mary and I walk on," said Beth, "and send somebody back for
+you? There must be a car in the village?"
+
+"Morriton St. James is a town, not a village," said Jimmy, "and there
+are lots of cars, but it would take you the best part of three hours to
+get there--if you ever got there at all. Look at Mary's shoes, and your
+own are no better."
+
+Mary exhibited, for admiration or contempt, a delicate suède shoe,
+certainly not intended for long walks over rough roads.
+
+"I'd go myself," said Jimmy, "but I hate leaving you two alone in a
+place like this. I never saw such a road in my life. Not a blessed
+thing has passed, going either way since the Pallas Athene lay down and
+died."
+
+"I'll do a lisp next week," said Beth, "on the dangerously congested
+condition of our country roads."
+
+"I don't suppose anything ever does pass or ever will," said Jimmy.
+
+He had been too optimistic at Ilchester over the performances of the
+Pallas Athene. He was too pessimistic now about the traffic on the road
+to Morriton St. James. A moving object appeared far off. The sound of
+clanging metal reached their ears. A very old Ford car came rattling
+towards them at a steady, but apparently laborious, twenty miles an
+hour. At the steering wheel sat James Hinton of the Anchor Inn in
+Hailey Compton.
+
+Jimmy was determined not to be passed by. There are a few motorists
+as indifferent to the calls of charity as if they were priests or
+Levites, who go their way without succouring those in distress on the
+roadside. The driver of the Ford might be such a man. Jimmy made sure
+that he would at least stop by standing with outstretched hands in the
+middle of the road. The Pallas Athene, her wheels against one bank,
+occupied about one third of the road, which was not very wide. Jimmy,
+half-way to the other bank, made passing impossible without homicide.
+He need not have taken such extreme measures. James Hinton pulled up
+and inquired politely what was the matter and whether he could be of
+any use.
+
+"If you'll take these two ladies into Morriton St. James," said Jimmy,
+"and send someone back to tow this car I shall be greatly obliged,
+and----"
+
+He felt in his pocket for a coin, looking hard at James Hinton, to
+discover, if possible, whether he was the sort of man to whom a tip
+should be offered. James Hinton, since he pulled up, had been looking
+hard at Jimmy. In spite of the smears of oily dust which were on his
+face and his generally dishevelled appearance, he was recognisable.
+
+"Certainly, my lord," he said. "It will be nothing but a pleasure to
+oblige your lordship in any possible way. Would it be convenient if I
+was to take the two ladies straight to the Manor House. It occurs to me
+that your lordship may intend to pay a visit to Sir Evelyn Dent, your
+lordship's uncle."
+
+"I say," said Jimmy. "You seem to know all about me, and I'm delighted
+to meet you again and all that; but--damned stupid of me, of course--I
+can't for the life of me recollect who you are."
+
+"Your lordship wouldn't recollect me," said Hinton. "It's not to be
+expected that you would; but I was in the late earl's service as first
+footman, and I had the honour of valetting your lordship sometimes
+lately when you stayed with Lord Dollman without bringing your own
+man."
+
+"Got you now," said Jimmy. "You're the fellow Dolly thought such a lot
+of. Said he never knew anyone with such a talent for spotting winners.
+Anyhow, Dolly used to make pots while he had you."
+
+"Very kind of his lordship to say so," said Hinton. "It's always been
+my wish to give satisfaction."
+
+"I suppose you don't happen to be out of a job now. If you cared to
+come to me---- What about it?"
+
+"Very kind of your lordship," said Hinton, "but I've retired from
+gentlemen's service. But of course if I could be of any use to your
+lordship----"
+
+"You can and shall," said Jimmy. "You shall take these two ladies to
+the Manor House."
+
+"Jimmy, dear," said Mary, catching his arm, "I daren't, simply daren't
+face your uncle without you. I don't believe Beth would either. He
+wouldn't know who we were."
+
+"It would be a bit awkward," said Beth. "I don't suppose Sir Evelyn has
+so much as heard our names."
+
+She was wrong about that. Sir Evelyn had heard her name very often
+since the idea of the smuggling pageant occurred to Mrs. Eames. He had
+even read, with gratification, every lisp of Lilith's in which his name
+had been mentioned since Beth began her campaign of advertising the
+pageant.
+
+James Hinton, who had left his seat and was arranging the back part
+of his car for the reception of ladies, understood the situation, or
+thought he did. In fact he understood it too well, believing it to be
+rather more awkward than it actually was. It was perfectly plain to him
+that the two girls did not belong to the class which habitually visits
+the houses of our higher aristocracy. Since, in spite of that, they
+spoke to Lord Colavon as "Jimmy, dear," he assumed that they belonged
+to another class which could not be introduced to Jimmy's aunts, or
+even to his uncle without some explanation.
+
+"If I might be allowed to make a suggestion, my lord," he said, "why
+not permit me to tow your car into Morriton St. James and then your
+lordship could accompany the ladies to the Manor House."
+
+Jimmy looked at the derelict Pallas Athene. She was a long, low car,
+and her body sloped back in lines rather like the rake of the masts of
+a pirate schooner in a novel. Her delicate pale blue paint still shone,
+though covered with the dust of the long journey. Her aluminium bonnet
+glistened in the rays of the setting sun. Her great balloon tyres lay
+like coiled monsters under her wide black wings. He looked at Hinton's
+Ford, squat, dumpy, perched absurdly above her little wheels. He noted
+the battered mud guards, the chipped paint, the tattered hood strapped
+into an untidy bundle at the back. A pang of acute humiliation gripped
+him hard.
+
+"Can you do it?" he asked with a sigh.
+
+"On low gear," said Hinton. "There is no doubt that we can do it on low
+gear. Your lordship has not perhaps had much experience of Fords."
+
+"None," said Jimmy bitterly.
+
+"Then perhaps your lordship will excuse my saying that a Ford will do
+anything in low gear."
+
+"If so," said Jimmy, with a burst of real magnanimity, "a Ford is a
+damned sight better car than a Pallas Athene eight cylinder sports
+model. It won't do anything on any gear."
+
+A really good servant, accustomed to the best houses, is never found
+wanting, or unable to meet any demand made on him. Asked suddenly
+in the middle of the afternoon for tripe and onions he displays no
+astonishment; but in a short time brings tripe and onions into the
+drawing-room, in a nice dish on a silver salver. Told, at luncheon,
+that a complete outfit for water polo is required immediately
+afterwards for a party of eight, he produces, without fuss or protest,
+bathing suits, balloons and everything else required. James Hinton
+had been a thoroughly good servant, one of the very best in England, a
+country which produces the best servants in the world.
+
+From the locker under the back seat of his car he took a long and
+reliable rope. It was as if he had fully expected to come upon a
+derelict Pallas Athene when he left home in the afternoon.
+
+The two girls were packed into the back seat of the Ford with many
+polite apologies. James Hinton took his seat, rigidly upright in front.
+Jimmy, crushed with shame, crouched over the steering wheel of the
+Pallas Athene.
+
+The drive began with a gallant effort of Hinton's to be better than
+his word. He tried the Ford on her top gear. She clanged, snorted,
+missed fire on one plug after another, made spasmodic jumps and finally
+stopped, her engine stalled. James Hinton got out, worked hard at the
+handle for a while and started again. This time he made no attempt to
+get out of low gear. The progress was slow. On the slightest incline
+it dropped to about four miles an hour. On a serious hill it became a
+crawl. Steam rose from the Ford's radiator like smoke from the funnel
+of a locomotive. The water inside could be heard boiling furiously.
+Oily smoke rose occasionally between the floor boards at Hinton's feet.
+The noise was terrific. The heat, even in the back part of the car
+where the two girls sat, was great. For Hinton it was blasting. But
+he stuck to his post and the car stuck to its work. She had emerged,
+a giddy young thing from the works in Detroit eleven years before.
+Time had sobered her, but had not broken that determination to get
+somewhere, somehow, which is the characteristic of all Fords of all
+ages.
+
+The eight miles to Morriton St. James were accomplished in something
+a little over an hour. The procession stopped at the door of the
+principal garage in the town and a crowd quickly gathered round.
+
+"That car," said Jimmy to the proprietor of the garage, "cost me twelve
+hundred pounds this morning. I'll swap it for one like James Hinton's
+if you happen to have such a thing in stock."
+
+The garage owner refused to make the exchange. He was an honest man
+and would not take advantage of a stranger whose nervous system was
+wrecked. Besides, it would have been very difficult to dispose of the
+Pallas Athene sports model at any price in Morriton St. James, a town
+inhabited by sober and cautious people.
+
+
+
+
+Chapter X
+
+
+James Hinton stood respectfully aside while Jimmy made his offer to the
+proprietor of the garage. When he got his chance to speak, his voice,
+like that of every good servant, was emotionless and soothing.
+
+"Excuse my asking you the question, my lord, but will the ladies be
+spending the night at the Manor House?"
+
+"They didn't intend to," said Jimmy. "Nor did I. But we'll all have to
+now, unless you feel inclined to run us up to town after dinner in your
+Ford."
+
+Hinton smiled an entirely respectful appreciation of this pleasantry.
+
+"I merely asked the question, my lord," he said, "because I thought it
+might be well to make arrangements for bringing up the luggage."
+
+It was perfectly apparent that there was no luggage to bring. The
+Pallas Athene was not even fitted with a luggage grid and there were no
+bags or suit cases in the car. But Hinton would have considered it a
+breach of good manners to appear to think that two ladies, companions
+of Lord Colavon and guests of Sir Evelyn Dent, could possibly be
+travelling without luggage.
+
+"Great Scott!" said Jimmy, "I never thought of that. Of course they
+haven't got a blessed thing for the night. Nor have I. It doesn't
+matter about me. Uncle Evie can lend me a razor and a comb. But--I
+say, Hinton, you know all about these things. Do you think Uncle Evie's
+housemaid could lend the ladies what they want?"
+
+"I've no doubt that the female members of the Manor House staff," said
+Hinton, "will be able to supply all that is absolutely necessary. But
+that is a course which I would hardly recommend. The garments usually
+worn by young persons of that class, my lord, are not what the ladies
+are accustomed to."
+
+"Housemaids don't run to silk nighties, Hinton?"
+
+"I fear not, my lord."
+
+"Then what on earth had we better do? The shops in this place are sure
+to be shut by this time."
+
+"If your lordship is willing to leave the matter in my hands---- As
+it happens Mr. Linker, the principal ladies' outfitter in Morriton St.
+James, is a friend of mine. I intended, if your lordship will pardon my
+mentioning my own affairs--I intended paying him a visit this evening.
+A little matter of business, my lord. Indeed that was the original
+purpose of my visit to Morriton St. James. I feel quite certain that
+Mr. Linker will be ready to let the ladies have what they require."
+
+"I suppose that you and Linker between you will know what they do
+require."
+
+"I venture to hope so, my lord, and I may add, that although Mr.
+Linker's establishment is not quite on a level with the best of the
+London houses, he stocks some very high-class goods. I feel convinced
+that if the matter is left in our hands the young ladies will have no
+reason to complain."
+
+"All right," said Jimmy, "and if your friend Linker happens to have a
+suit of pyjamas that will fit me, and a clean collar, and a brush and
+comb----. But I expect it's too much to expect him to have brushes and
+combs."
+
+"I think, my lord, that through Mr. Linker's influence in the town all
+your lordship requires will be obtainable. May I ask"--Hinton took
+out a slip of paper to make a note of the important answer to this
+question, "which shaving soap your lordship prefers and which tooth
+powder?"
+
+"Hinton," said Jimmy, "you're invaluable. Dolly regarded you as a
+jewel, but he little knew what you could do. Spotting winners is
+nothing to providing three complete trousseaux at an hour's notice in
+a small country town. I don't believe there's another man in England
+could do it." He took out his pocket-book. "Will a ten pound note cover
+the damage? If so, keep the change. You deserve it and more."
+
+"Mr. Linker will no doubt furnish his account in due course, my lord,"
+said Hinton.
+
+He pocketed the note as he spoke. It is by such actions that men become
+rich enough to buy country inns, refurnish them, and give fifty pound
+guarantees to pageants.
+
+Jimmy took his seat beside Hinton in the front of the Ford. The car was
+now able to run on high gear, but even so the noise of their progress
+was considerable. Quite enough to render it safe for the passengers in
+front to talk without any risk of being overheard by those behind.
+
+Jimmy took advantage of his opportunity.
+
+"I say, Hinton, you know Uncle Evie pretty well, don't you?"
+
+"I had the honour of valetting him more than once when I was first
+footman in the service of your lordship's father, the late earl."
+
+"Then you must know all there is to know about his little
+tempers and fads and so forth. Just tell me this, speaking quite
+confidentially--how do you think he'll take it when I tell him that
+I and the two ladies have come to stay? He's expecting us to dinner
+but not for the night. Now what about it, Hinton? Will there be any
+unpleasantness? To be quite candid, I expect we'll be there for the
+best part of a week. It will take all that to get whatever spare parts
+are wanted for the Pallas Athene."
+
+"I don't happen to know exactly how Sir Evelyn Dent is situated at the
+moment, my lord, but if there is any difficulty with the domestic staff
+I shall be only too pleased to offer my services."
+
+"That's kind of you, Hinton, but it's not exactly what I meant. I was
+thinking more----"
+
+"Quite so, my lord," said Hinton, interrupting him, but very
+respectfully. "You're thinking of the young ladies. So far as waiting
+at table is concerned I am quite prepared to relieve the staff of any
+extra work. But what your lordship has in mind is the maiding of the
+young ladies. That, I fear, I am not competent to undertake. But I
+happen to be aware that the head of the dressmaking department in Mr.
+Linker's establishment was formerly ladies' maid in some quite good
+houses. I have no doubt that in order to oblige she would be willing to
+look after the young ladies during their stay."
+
+"Secure her, Hinton, if you think it will make matters any easier with
+the Manor House staff. But it wasn't so much the servants that I was
+thinking about. How will Uncle Evie himself take it? That's the real
+question."
+
+"I've never known Sir Evelyn behave otherwise than as a perfect
+gentleman, my lord."
+
+"That's all right as far as it goes, and it's nice to know that he
+won't throw stones at them. But a gentleman, even a perfect gentleman,
+can make things damned uncomfortable for other people when he chooses.
+Now, will he? That's the point."
+
+"That, my lord," said Hinton, "will depend a good deal on the young
+ladies themselves. I've always understood that Sir Evelyn, when a young
+man, was very fond of the society of ladies, agreeable ladies, if you
+understand me, my lord."
+
+Hinton's way of saying "agreeable ladies" left no doubt in Jimmy's mind
+what kind of ladies he meant. He turned on him rather angrily.
+
+"Don't get it into your head, Hinton, that I'm travelling about the
+country with women of that sort, or that I'd try to foist them on Uncle
+Evie if I was."
+
+"I beg pardon, my lord," said Hinton in a tone of great humility.
+"Nothing was further from my mind than to suggest anything of that
+sort. When I said agreeable I meant nothing more than sprightly, if I
+may use the word."
+
+He had meant a great deal more; but Jimmy accepted the denial.
+
+"Any breach of decorum would, I feel sure, be most objectionable to Sir
+Evelyn Dent. But I'm quite sure that there's not the slightest reason
+to anticipate such a thing."
+
+Jimmy was a quicktempered but easily-pacified young man. The idea
+of Beth Appleby and Mary Lambert earning their board and lodging by
+sprightliness tempered with decorum amused him. He turned round in his
+seat and addressed the two girls.
+
+"Just listen to this," he said. "We've got to cadge on Uncle Evie for
+beds to-night. Must sleep somewhere, you know, and there isn't anywhere
+else. Hinton, who knows all about everything, says that if you two
+behave properly Uncle Evie will be quite kind, so what you've got to be
+is---- What was the word you used, Hinton? I know it was a good one."
+
+"Sprightly, my lord," said Hinton, "but I'm not sure whether it would
+be advisable to repeat it to the young ladies."
+
+"What you've got to be," said Jimmy, turning to the girls again, "is
+sprightly."
+
+"I'm there all the time in sprightliness," said Beth. "That's how I
+earn my daily bread. If Lilith didn't lisp with unfailing sprightliness
+I'd lose my job."
+
+"But at the same time," said Jimmy, "there mustn't be the slightest
+breach of decorum. Hinton says Uncle Evie is a perfect dragon on
+decorum."
+
+"That's where you'll have to be careful, Mary, my dear," said Beth.
+
+"Me!" said Mary. "I shall be a petrified icicle with sheer terror. But,
+I say, Jimmy does that mean no cigarettes?"
+
+"What do you say about that, Hinton?" said Jimmy. "Is Uncle Evie down
+on women smoking?"
+
+"Many ladies of good position smoke nowadays, my lord," said Hinton. "I
+should imagine that Sir Evelyn Dent is quite accustomed to it!"
+
+"One cigarette after each meal, Mary," said Jimmy. "Certainly not more."
+
+The warnings turned out to be unnecessary. Sir Evelyn received the
+girls with dignified, though slightly pompous, kindness. When he heard
+of the failure of the Pallas Athene he at once offered to put up the
+whole party for the night.
+
+"My head housemaid seems to be a very competent young woman," he said
+to Beth; "if you'll be so good as to tell her what you want. This is a
+bachelor household, I'm afraid, but the head housemaid is really very
+resourceful. You may not be quite as comfortable as if you'd brought
+your own luggage----"
+
+"Oh, that's all right," said Jimmy. "Hinton happens to know a man who
+supplies outfits complete from the cradle to the coffin at ten minutes'
+notice. A capital fellow. Baby clothes and shrouds are all the same to
+him and of course anything in between."
+
+"How thrilling!" said Beth. "Do you mean to say that you were arranging
+all that while we thought you were swapping your motor for a Ford? But
+do you think Hinton will remember everything? I'd like a toothbrush, I
+must say."
+
+"Hinton," said Jimmy, "is to be relied on absolutely."
+
+"Hinton?" said Sir Evelyn. "Is that the man who keeps an inn in a
+village called Hailey Compton? If so, I know him, and I really think,
+Miss Appleby, that you may rely on him. He has a knack of getting
+exactly what he wants. I've seen a good deal of him during the last
+fortnight. He keeps coming here about a pageant they're getting up. I
+wonder what he's doing in Morriton St. James this evening. Surely he
+can't be coming to see me again?"
+
+Sir Evelyn had in fact received seven or eight visits from Hinton,
+who often brought Mrs. Eames with him and never came without a request
+of some kind. Sir Evelyn, persuaded by Hinton and talked down by Mrs.
+Eames, had already asked some of the most eminent people in the kingdom
+to be patrons of the pageant. He had written several articles on
+English smuggling with special allusions to the pageant--and persuaded
+the editors of some of our leading daily papers to publish them. He
+dreaded being asked to do anything more, and the news that Hinton was
+in Morriton St. James made him uneasy. Jimmy reassured him.
+
+"He's not after you this time, Uncle Evie. He's come to see the local
+underclothes man on a matter of business. He told me so himself. I
+didn't ask what the business was, but I should say it had something to
+do with backing horses. Dolly--that's Lord Dollman, you know--always
+said that Hinton was A1 for spotting winners. If it wasn't that it was
+making money some other way. Hinton's always there when it comes to
+gathering in the cash."
+
+"He got five shillings out of me for a glass of beer the other day,"
+said Sir Evelyn.
+
+"That's nothing," said Jimmy. "He had a tenner from me over this
+outfitting business."
+
+"Good gracious, Jimmy!" said Beth. "You don't mean to say you spent ten
+pounds on nighties for me and Mary?"
+
+"I meant to," said Jimmy, "but I didn't. Hinton collared the money and
+the other fellow's to send in a bill afterwards."
+
+Thus, thanks mainly to the sprightliness of Lord Colavon, pleasant
+relations were established at once, and Sir Evelyn began to enjoy the
+society of his guests. He became actually cordial during dinner when he
+discovered that Beth was the author of Lilith's weekly Lispings.
+
+"I am entertaining angels unawares. I have to thank you, my dear young
+lady, for the pleasure your delightful causerie has given me since I
+first began to read it."
+
+In this Sir Evelyn was perfectly sincere. Beth, at the instigation
+of Mrs. Eames, had written a number of very nice paragraphs about
+him. Since his retirement from public life, after the fall of the
+Government, his name had dropped out of the newspapers. He missed,
+more than he would have cared to confess, the daily bundle of press
+cuttings which used to come to him from an industrious agent in London.
+Beth's flattering Lispings were "good news from a far country," which,
+as Solomon says with all his usual wisdom, is like "cold water to a
+thirsty soul."
+
+"And how is your aunt?" said Sir Evelyn. "But I dare say I can give
+you the latest news of her. She lunched with me three days ago. We
+were discussing the details of her very interesting scheme for a local
+pageant. Her idea--it is entirely hers. I do no more than help her with
+such crumbs of historical knowledge as I possess. Her idea--but I'm
+sure you've heard about it."
+
+"Oh, rather," said Beth. "I've heard of nothing else for weeks. Almost
+daily letters from Aunt Agatha. I'm working hard at the publicity side
+of the affair. Mary has just agreed to be a patron as representative of
+the dramatic world."
+
+"Miss Lambert's name," said Sir Evelyn with a courteous bow, "will go
+far to secure success."
+
+"I'm in it too," said Jimmy. "Beth roped me in as a patron this
+morning."
+
+"Jimmy represents the world of sport," said Beth.
+
+"I'm delighted to hear," said Sir Evelyn, "that Jimmy is going to do
+something useful at last. Your good influence, no doubt, Miss Appleby."
+
+"Hang it all, Uncle Evie!" said Jimmy. "I'm not such a rotter as all
+that. Look at the way I've been supporting home industry, knocking out
+unemployment and all that sort of rot by buying cars like the Pallas
+Athene. Very few fellows would do it."
+
+"You may perhaps be able to help us," said Sir Evelyn, "in the matter
+of securing a suitable lugger. The luggers used in the contraband trade
+during the latter part of the eighteenth century were of the type known
+as _chasse-marée_, designed originally in France. But I fear that these
+details will not interest you young ladies."
+
+"They thrill us," said Beth. "Don't they Mary?"
+
+"Of course," said Mary.
+
+She had been stifling yawns with difficulty for some time past and
+feared that a talk about eighteenth century French boats was not likely
+to keep her awake. She just managed to say her "of course" in tones of
+conviction.
+
+Sir Evelyn suggested that the party should go to his study, where
+he could exhibit pictures of _chasse-marées_, some of them actually
+engaged in smuggling. He had also--Mary struggled desperately against
+overwhelming sleepiness--books with diagrams, showing the lines on
+which the boats were built.
+
+A couple of hours later, when Beth and Mary had gone to bed, Sir Evelyn
+had a conversation with his nephew on a very different subject.
+
+The Earl of Colavon ought to marry. This, in the opinion of the family,
+was a matter of duty, and the family had no hesitation about speaking
+its mind. Sir Evelyn and four aunts all spoke their minds plainly and
+often. Jimmy was becoming heartily sick of the subject. Sir Evelyn
+talked about "the family," which for the good of society, of England,
+even of mankind in general, ought not to be allowed to die out. That
+was not how he put it, but it was exactly what he meant. The aunts went
+further. After expressing opinions about the value of "the family"
+very like those of Sir Evelyn, they used to produce suitable ladies,
+no doubt with the kindly intention of saving their nephew the trouble
+of looking out for a wife for himself. The ladies were not marshalled
+in a bevy but thrust on Jimmy's attention one by one, a second taking
+the place of the first when it became clear that the first was not
+approved, a third succeeding the second and so on, until the supply
+of suitable ladies was exhausted. This was not so long a business as
+might have been expected. There are never at one time very many ladies
+suitable for the position of Countess--at least, not very many suitable
+in the opinion of the aunts of the Earl of Colavon.
+
+When there were no more suitable ladies the aunts fell back on a hope
+that Jimmy would marry someone not entirely unsuitable. They could not
+produce anyone of this kind because they only associated with people
+whose daughters were suitable. But they continued to press this view
+of his duty on their nephew. So did Sir Evelyn. He displayed a great
+broad-mindedness, going so far as to say that he would be quite ready
+to welcome even an actress as a niece--an actress of good character and
+suitable age. The aunts would not, perhaps, have been quite so liberal.
+
+The arrival of Beth Appleby and Mary Lambert in Jimmy's company cheered
+Sir Evelyn. The girls, if not precisely "suitable" in the full sense
+of the word, had nice manners, pleasant tempers and good looks. They
+were plainly on very intimate terms with Lord Colavon, addressing him
+as Jimmy. Sir Evelyn felt hopeful; but he was puzzled and a little
+annoyed by the fact that there were two girls and that he was unable to
+discover that one was preferred to the other.
+
+For some time he skirted round the subject and Jimmy, who guessed what
+was coming, skilfully slipped away from it. At last Sir Evelyn was
+reduced to the crude bluntness of approach which all his political
+training taught him to dislike.
+
+"I can't help wondering----" he said, "I'm sure, my dear boy, that
+you'll excuse my speaking plainly. I have been wondering all the
+evening whether you find yourself seriously attracted by either of the
+charming young ladies who came here with you to-day?"
+
+Jimmy, cornered at last, replied with equal plainness:
+
+"I'm seriously attracted," he said, "by both of them."
+
+"I take it," said Sir Evelyn, "that the idea of marriage with one of
+them has been present to your mind."
+
+"Never absent from it, Uncle Evie."
+
+"My dear boy, I'm delighted to hear it. Delighted. Now which is it?"
+
+"That," said Jimmy, "is precisely my difficulty. If there was only Mary
+Lambert and Beth Appleby did not exist, it would be perfectly simple.
+I'd do my best to marry her; though mind this, Uncle Evie, she might
+not be willing to marry me. On the other hand, if there was no such
+person as Mary Lambert I'd make a pretty hard push at marrying Beth
+Appleby. I'd call myself a jolly lucky fellow to get her, or Mary.
+That's the situation, and I think you'll agree with me that it's an
+uncommonly difficult one. I don't see any way out, do you?"
+
+"That," said Sir Evelyn, "is an absurd, even an immoral, way to talk,
+and I should be seriously angry with you if I thought you meant it. You
+must be able to make up your mind which of the two you prefer."
+
+"But that's just it," said Jimmy. "I can't. My only hope is that some
+other fellow will come along and marry one of them. That's what I'm
+waiting for, and it's bound to happen sooner or later, I should think.
+Then I'll be all there. If the other fellow marries Beth, I'll have a
+try at Mary next day. If, on the other hand, he marries Mary----"
+
+"This incurable habit of flippancy," said Sir Evelyn irritably,
+"appears to be growing on you."
+
+"My dear Uncle Evie, I'm as serious as a judge with a black cap on, and
+if you like I'll prove that I mean what I say. Suppose you chip in and
+marry one of them--she might have you if you asked her nicely--I'll
+give you my word of honour to do my best to marry the other. I call
+that a fair offer, and you can count on there being no ill feeling
+afterwards, whichever you take. I shall be perfectly content with the
+other, always supposing that she will marry me. If she won't, then my
+part of the business is off. Now what about it?"
+
+Sir Evelyn held out his hand with a gesture of dignified sorrow.
+
+"I think perhaps I'd better say good night to you. There is nothing to
+be gained by further discussion along these lines."
+
+"Sorry, Uncle Evie, I apologise, grovel, and all that. But hang it all,
+you know, you ought to be fair. You're everlastingly ragging me about
+not marrying, and I put up with it like a lamb. But the very minute
+I so much as hint that you might do it yourself---- After all, you're
+just as unmarried as I am and have been for double as long; which makes
+it far worse. You must be able to see that."
+
+In this way Jimmy concealed from an inquisitive uncle the fact that for
+some months he had been trying to persuade Beth Appleby to marry him
+and that she had been steadily but quite good-humouredly refusing to do
+so.
+
+
+
+
+Chapter XI
+
+
+Jimmy growled a sleepy "Come in" in reply to a tap at his bedroom
+door. Having thus accomplished all that could be expected of him for
+some time he relapsed into deep slumber again. There was nothing to
+disturb him in the familiar performance of the servant who called him.
+A tea tray was laid down noiselessly on the table beside his bed.
+Curtains were drawn back as nearly noiselessly as curtains could be
+drawn. There was the usual folding of shirts and socks, laying out of
+shoes, arrangement of other clothes in due order, the depositing in
+appropriate places of collar, tie and handkerchief. The same things
+were done for Jimmy every morning of his life and had been done for
+him in much the same way ever since he had left school. There was
+nothing to disturb him and he was too sleepy to realise that he was in
+a strange room.
+
+"Your lordship's bath," said the servant, "will be prepared. I shall
+return and tell your lordship when it is ready. In about ten minutes if
+that is convenient to your lordship."
+
+The voice was unfamiliar. Jimmy opened his eyes sufficiently to
+recognise that the servant who was leaving the room was not his own
+man. He saw at the same time that he was in an unfamiliar room. The
+recollection of the adventures of the day before came to him and he
+knew that he had slept in his uncle's house. He poured out his tea and
+as he drank it composed a biting and insulting telegram to be sent,
+regardless of expense, to the makers of the Pallas Athene sports model
+car. He lit a cigarette to stimulate the workings of his brain.
+
+The servant came into the room again, as he promised, in ten minutes.
+Jimmy recognised Hinton.
+
+"Hallo!" he said. "How do you come to be here?"
+
+"Your lordship will recollect that I ventured to suggest last night
+that it might be convenient if I were to wait upon your lordship."
+
+"Of course. Yes. Now you mention it, I remember. You said you'd come
+in to help Uncle Evie's butler in case the poor fellow felt overworked.
+Uncommonly kind of you to do it, Hinton, and I'm sure we're all greatly
+obliged to you. You were to have got tooth-brushes and things for the
+two young ladies. I hope you did."
+
+"I left that matter in Mr. Linker's hands, my lord, with every
+confidence that satisfaction would be given. Mr. Linker's establishment
+is not actually first class. That could hardly be expected in Morriton
+St. James, but I think everything required will be provided. The young
+person of whom I spoke to you last night----"
+
+He went on to say at some length, that the head of the dressmaking
+department in Mr. Linker's shop had consented to return, temporarily,
+to her original trade, and was at that moment acting as lady's maid to
+Beth and Mary. Jimmy suspected that neither of the girls was accustomed
+to such ministrations, but had no doubt they would enjoy them. Mr.
+Linker, it appeared, had been quite willing to give his dressmaker
+a holiday; such was his respect for Sir Evelyn and his desire to
+be obliging. Hinton said nothing about the feelings of Mr. Linker's
+customers, the young ladies of Morriton St. James, several of whom were
+waiting impatiently, even clamorously, for new dresses.
+
+"It's uncommonly civil of your friend Linker," said Jimmy. "You might
+thank him from me, will you?"
+
+"I have reason to believe, my lord, that Mr. Linker proposes to call on
+you himself this morning."
+
+"With the bill for the night dresses and things, I suppose?"
+
+Hinton was profoundly shocked by the suggestion.
+
+"Certainly not, my lord. Mr. Linker understands your lordship's
+position in society too well to send in an account in anything less
+than three months. I should certainly not have recommended Mr. Linker
+to your lordship's notice if there had been the least risk of his
+being guilty of such an act of indecorum. The fact is, my lord"--here
+Hinton's tone became confidential--"Mr. Linker wishes to ask a favour,
+and I may add that if your lordship sees your way to consider Mr.
+Linker's proposal favourably, I shall regard it as a favour to myself."
+
+"What does he want, Hinton? If I can do anything in the way of
+recommending him to Uncle Evie---- Contract for the supply of caps
+and aprons for the housemaids here, or anything of that sort, I shall
+be delighted. A man who can provide trousseaux complete with lady's
+maid at ten minutes' notice after the shops are shut deserves any
+recommendation I can give."
+
+"I gather, my lord, that Mr. Linker's request is not connected with the
+ladies' outfitting business."
+
+"If he wants to buy what's left of the Pallas Athene," said Jimmy, "he
+can have it cheap."
+
+Hinton allowed himself a respectful smile.
+
+"I gathered from what Mr. Linker said to me that he wishes to see your
+lordship with reference to the coming pageant at Hailey Compton."
+
+"Oh, that's it, is it? Now how the devil does a shopkeeper in Morriton
+St. James come to be mixed up in a pageant at Hailey Compton? What
+business is it of his?"
+
+Hinton produced a long, plausible and quite unconvincing explanation
+of Linker's interest in the pageant. He was, it appears, an active
+politician, a supporter of the party to which Sir Evelyn belonged. He
+took the chair at political meetings. He was president of a club by
+means of which it was hoped that working men might be attached to the
+party. He was very anxious to secure Sir Evelyn's return at the next
+election.
+
+"I know that kind of fellow," said Jimmy. "Invaluable, of course, but
+boring. I quite see that Uncle Evie has to put up with him. 'How to
+be civil though yawning. A Tract for Parliamentary Candidates.' But
+I'm not in that line myself and I don't see why I should be worried by
+your friend Linker. And anyhow, what has all that got to do with the
+pageant?"
+
+Hinton's explanation went on. Mr. Linker had conceived the idea that
+the position of the party in the constituency would be improved if the
+pageant, with which Sir Evelyn was intimately connected, were a real
+success.
+
+"I don't see that in the least," said Jimmy. "As a matter of fact,
+there are two or three other things about that pageant that I don't
+quite see. But I'm always stupid till I have had my bath. Can't
+understand how any fellow is expected to be at his brightest and best
+till he's wallowed about in cold water a bit. Suppose you drop in here
+while I'm dressing, Hinton, and we'll have a chat."
+
+"I shall be quite at your lordship's service at any time," said Hinton.
+
+Jimmy returned from his bath thoroughly awake and as fit as he ever
+would be to deal with the puzzling problem of Linker's interest in the
+pageant. He had indeed, while drying himself, hit on a new question
+to which he wanted to find an answer. Why was Hinton himself so eager
+about the pageant? Sir Evelyn had mentioned the guarantee fund and
+Hinton's fifty pound promise. There must, Jimmy supposed, be some
+reason for such generosity. He wanted to find out what it was.
+
+"Now, Hinton," he said, "just tell me all over again why your friend
+Linker thinks that this pageant will win the election for Uncle Evie."
+
+Hinton was apparently not pleased with this inquiry. His reply was a
+perfectly courteous and respectful rebuke of Lord Colavon's curiosity.
+
+"That, my lord, is a point on which I am unable to give you any
+information. But Mr. Linker is very experienced in elections and
+thoroughly understands the sort of appeal which impresses the voter. I
+think perhaps we may safely leave the matter in his hands."
+
+Jimmy rubbed shaving soap on his face thoughtfully for a minute. Then
+he asked Hinton another question.
+
+"I understand that you're in this pageant up to your neck, Hinton. Now
+why?"
+
+Hinton glanced sharply at Lord Colavon's face reflected in the mirror.
+It was covered with a foam of white soap and no face in that state
+looks intelligent. Hinton decided that nothing more than an evasive
+answer was necessary.
+
+"I am certainly interested, my lord."
+
+Jimmy laid down his shaving brush and took up his razor. After giving
+his chin a scrape he turned to Hinton again.
+
+"As an historical archæologist," he said, "you are, of course,
+interested in any effort to re-create the past."
+
+Hinton was a little puzzled. His safest plan seemed to be to say
+nothing.
+
+"And the artistic side of the thing appeals to you strongly," said
+Jimmy.
+
+Hinton, still puzzled, and becoming uneasy, bowed gravely.
+
+"Remarkable man you are, Hinton," said Jimmy. "And your friend Linker,
+the shopkeeper, is a remarkable man, too. Suppose now you tell me all
+about this pageant, just who else is in it besides you and Uncle Evie
+and what's going on and how far you've got."
+
+Hinton was perfectly willing to tell a good deal, if not actually all
+there was to tell, about the pageant.
+
+He gave a list of the patrons so far. He described Mrs. Eames at some
+length. He described the vicar, who continued to live a secluded life,
+chiefly in the church, taking no part in the village activities. He
+described the rehearsals, held daily at high tide. Bales of goods and
+small casks, lent by Hinton himself, were landed at every high tide
+out of one of Bunce's boats. Songs, which Mrs. Eames called chanties,
+were sung as the work went on. Sometimes the cargo, when landed, was
+stored in the cave. Sometimes it was carried across the beach, with the
+accompaniment of other chanties, and loaded on the back of the only
+horse which Mrs. Eames had been able to borrow. Unfortunately, the
+first enthusiasm of the village was dying away. The daily rehearsals
+were felt to be tiresome. It required all the influence of Hinton
+himself, Bunce and some of the older men, to keep the people at work.
+
+Costumes, designed by Sir Evelyn, were being made in Morriton St. James
+under the supervision of Mr. Linker, who had undertaken that part of
+the work.
+
+"Sees his way to making a bit, I suppose," said Jimmy acutely. "I
+thought there must be money in it for him somewhere."
+
+"No doubt, my lord, there will be the usual profit on the sale of the
+costumes."
+
+"But not much," said Jimmy, "hardly enough to make it worth his while
+to plunge into the thing and go pursuing people like me and Uncle
+Evie. And where do you come in, Hinton? I mean to say, apart from your
+interest in English history and village art, what made you guarantee
+fifty pounds?"
+
+James Hinton smiled but gave no answer to this question. He offered
+instead a description of a picture of a smuggling lugger which hung
+in the tap-room of the Anchor Inn, ready to be inspected by anyone
+interested in the pageant. It had been painted by a young man, a nephew
+of Mr. Linker's, who had won several prizes for art given by the County
+Education Committee. The details of the hull and rigging had been
+worked out under the direction of Sir Evelyn. The sea which surrounded
+the lugger, the work of the young man himself, was highly spirited and
+very blue.
+
+Jimmy listened to all this without comment. The picture of the lugger
+did not interest him. He had finished shaving and was washing his
+face. Hinton went on to explain at some length why he and Linker were
+anxious to secure Lord Colavon's support for the pageant. They had got
+a bishop, a couple of leading politicians, a judge and a doctor with a
+title. They now wanted to reach another section of the public, sporting
+people and theatrical people. They hoped that Lord Colavon, if he
+supported the pageant, would interest his friends in it.
+
+"I see," said Jimmy, drying his face. "But what I want to know is,
+what do I get out of it? Uncle Evie wins an election. Your friend
+Linker scoops in a profit for costumes. You gratify your passion for
+archæology. But where do I come in?"
+
+"I was in hopes," said Hinton, rather feebly, "that your lordship might
+find it amusing. Mrs. Eames is a very remarkable lady. I feel convinced
+that you will enjoy meeting Mrs. Eames."
+
+"Hardly good enough, Hinton. I'm sure Mrs. Eames is all you say. But
+I have some respect for the Church, even if you haven't, and I never
+flirt with parsons' wives."
+
+Having finished washing he began to dress. Hinton offered him all kinds
+of unnecessary assistance and for a while nothing more was said. At
+last, fully clothed, except for his coat and waistcoat, Jimmy sat down
+and lit a cigarette.
+
+"Now, Hinton," he said, "you've told me a lot about this pageant, and
+it's only fair that I should tell you something. Sit down and listen to
+me for a minute. Smoke if you like."
+
+Hinton preferred to stand--or said he did--and refused the offer of a
+cigarette. Jimmy began:
+
+"My idea of the day of your pageant is something like this. Crowds on
+the shore. Village people dressed up as assistant smugglers waiting
+for the arrival of the lugger. Everybody anxiously peering out to sea.
+Distinguished visitors in the reserved seats scanning the horizon with
+telescopes. Uncle Evie with a telescope. The bishop with binoculars.
+Other eminent men with field glasses. Women asking stupid questions in
+order to keep conversation going. Everybody jumping with excitement and
+expectation till the lugger comes in sight. Then cheers. Loud cheers.
+That's about the programme so far, isn't it, Hinton?"
+
+"That, my lord, is very much what we hope to accomplish."
+
+"Exactly. But before your lugger comes in sight she must have been
+somewhere out of sight. That's only common sense. You follow me so
+far."
+
+"Certainly, my lord, out of sight. Certainly."
+
+"Very well. Where was she before she came into sight? Tell me that?"
+
+"I'm not quite sure that I catch your lordship's meaning."
+
+"I'll try and make it plainer for you if you like. The lugger was out
+of sight at one time. Very well. A little later she comes into sight.
+I know there's a school of philosophers which says that a thing simply
+doesn't exist unless somebody's looking at it. And of course if that's
+true there's no use asking questions about where the lugger was before
+the bishop and Uncle Evie saw it through their glasses. It just wasn't
+anywhere. In fact there wasn't a lugger. But you and I don't believe
+that, do we? We can't, you know, because we both intend to be on board
+that lugger, and we'd hate to pass out of existence till Uncle Evie and
+the bishop chose to see us. We may take it then, that the lugger was
+somewhere before she came in sight. But where? That's what I want to
+get at."
+
+"I don't think that point's been considered, my lord."
+
+"Well, it ought to be and I'm going to consider it now. The lugger
+might have been at St. Malo, or Granville, or Cherbourg, or any port
+along that bit of coast. Or she might have been in St. Helier, or
+Peter's Port, or some little bay in one of the Channel Islands. And
+if she was--mind I'm only saying if--I suppose you might make a nice
+little sum over a few dozen cases of French brandy that didn't pay
+duty. And your friend Linker could do with a consignment of French
+silk, duty free. I could manage along with a case or two of champagne
+and a few silk stockings for these young ladies. You see how the thing
+works out, Hinton. Immense crowds on shore. All the most eminent and
+respectable people looking on. Lugger comes in. Motor engine on board,
+not a Pallas Athene sports model engine, but one something more on the
+lines of your Ford. Flag flies at truck, skull and crossbones and all
+that. Thrills. Cheers. Newspaper men writing like fury. Photographers
+snapping their camera shutters. Publicity. Widest possible publicity.
+Dummy cargo landed. Pack horses loaded. Bales carried into cave. Cheers
+die down. Show over. Crowds disperse to eat and drink. Then you and I
+and Linker land another little cargo."
+
+"That, my lord, would, I fear, be smuggling."
+
+"You might call it that."
+
+"The penalties for smuggling are very severe, my lord."
+
+"I'm disappointed in you, Hinton. I thought you were a sportsman. Lord
+Dollman said you were a sportsman, and I believed him. But here you
+are funking a little flutter, when it's odds on, positively odds on. I
+should say nine to one on."
+
+"The custom house officers are very alert, my lord, very alert indeed,
+and they're sure to be particularly suspicious of a pageant like this.
+The very word smuggling, advertised as we hope to advertise it, is
+enough to make them watch us."
+
+"That's just where you're wrong," said Jimmy. "It's our advertising
+which will put them off. Nobody who wanted to smuggle would put a
+paragraph to say so in every paper in England. Nobody who meant to
+smuggle would invite Uncle Evie and the bishop and all the other
+political and legal swells to be directors in the company. Don't you
+see, Hinton, that's just the sort of thing that puts the intelligent
+custom house officer off the scent, and the more intelligent he is the
+certainer he's bound to be that there's nothing in it."
+
+The reasoning was perfectly sound and ought to have convinced Hinton.
+Perhaps it did. Perhaps he had thought it all out himself before. But
+there was another difficulty which seemed less easy to deal with.
+
+"You'll excuse me, my lord, but neither Mr. Linker nor I would care to
+take part in a scheme for defrauding the Revenue."
+
+"Rot!" said Jimmy. "You really can't expect me to believe that, Hinton.
+Nobody could take that line. Just think how the good old Revenue
+defrauds us. It was only the other day I caught it at it. At least
+another fellow to whom I gave over the job caught it for me. And the
+thing had been going on for years. Income Tax. Hundreds of pounds that
+I oughtn't to have paid. I expect it's been doing the same thing to you
+and to Linker and Uncle Evie and everyone. So far as I can make out it
+defrauds everyone it can, and when it's caught doesn't even apologise.
+Now what's wrong about getting a bit of our own back? That's all we
+intend to do."
+
+But Hinton remained obstinately unconvinced even by this argument. He
+shook his head gravely and sadly, adding a few words about Mr. Linker's
+integrity and his own high principles.
+
+Jimmy threw away the end of his cigarette. Then he slipped on his
+waistcoat and coat.
+
+"Very well, Hinton," he said, "I'll have nothing whatever to do with
+your measly pageant, and what's more I'll crab it in every way I
+possibly can. I'll take care, so far as my friends are concerned, that
+it's a complete washout. I know perfectly well that you and Linker,
+and I expect half the fishermen in the village, are going to do exactly
+what I've said. Why the devil else should you be going into the thing
+at all, spending money and so on? If you won't let me chip in along
+with the rest of you, I'll do you all the harm I can, and you can tell
+your friend Linker what I say. If he calls here this morning I simply
+won't see him. You can tell him that, too."
+
+
+
+
+Chapter XII
+
+
+Mr. Linker presented himself--the phrase is a most unpleasant one.
+No self-respecting writer would use it if he could find any other to
+express his meaning. He would prefer to say "Mr. Linker arrived" or
+"Mr. Linker came." Or perhaps "Mr. Linker turned up," or "blew in."
+Unfortunately "presented himself" is the only way of describing the
+unctuous politeness, the self-satisfied smugness, the deprecating
+humility and the formal correctness with which Mr. Linker, at the Manor
+House door, asked for Lord Colavon. It is therefore necessary to use
+the words.
+
+Mr. Linker presented himself, early, while Sir Evelyn and his guests
+were still lingering over breakfast. He was shown into the library and
+his presence announced by Hinton.
+
+"Mr. Linker," he said to Jimmy, "wishes to speak to your lordship when
+convenient."
+
+"Tell the blighter," said Jimmy, "to call again this day fortnight and
+say that I won't be here then."
+
+He looked Hinton straight in the face as he spoke. His meaning was
+perfectly clear. He was fulfilling the threat that he had made an hour
+before in his bedroom.
+
+Sir Evelyn, who was enjoying the society of the two girls, did not want
+to be disturbed. But he was aware of Linker's political importance and
+was most unwilling to offend him.
+
+"Perhaps," he said, "I'd better see him."
+
+"Don't do anything of the sort, Uncle Evie," said Jimmy. "I know that
+kind of rotter and, if he once gets talking you'll not stop him under
+an hour and a half. Just let Hinton take my message."
+
+Sir Evelyn hesitated. He knew that, once caught by Linker, his morning
+would be gone, and he had been looking forward to taking Beth Appleby
+and Mary Lambert round his rock garden. They were very agreeable and
+well-mannered young women. Jimmy might have had his way and the message
+might have been sent--though perhaps not delivered--by Hinton, if Beth
+had not recognised the name of Linker. She had heard a good deal about
+him from the dressmaker maid and knew that he was the man who had
+supplied her and Mary with clothes.
+
+"Let me go and see him," she said. "I want to thank him for the lovely
+things he sent, and so does Mary. We'll both go. If I could afford
+it I'd order half a dozen nighties of the same pattern. I never had
+anything so deliciously frivolous before."
+
+"Offer him a free advertisement in Lilith's Lispings," said Jimmy, "and
+perhaps he'll give you a few."
+
+"I might do that," said Beth. "It would be a paragraph practically
+ready-made for next week, and that's something, even if I don't get as
+much as a pocket handkerchief out of him. And I ought to. 'Lilith lisps
+that Mr. Linker, the well-known lingerie expert of Morriton St. James,
+who is perhaps England's greatest artist in nightdresses, is about to
+startle the world with an original design in--whisper, belovedest, if
+there are any men in the room--cami-knickers. Anyone with a real regard
+for undies--and which of us has not?--will at once write to----' I must
+ask him his address when I see him. Come on, Mary, and let's try. An
+ad. like that ought to be worth something."
+
+"Suppose we all go," said Sir Evelyn, still anxious to be polite to the
+influential Linker.
+
+"I shan't stir a step," said Jimmy. "I hate that kind of oily beggar."
+
+Hinton held the door open for the two ladies and Sir Evelyn. When they
+had left the room he turned to Jimmy.
+
+"Beg pardon, my lord," he said, "I took the opportunity of speaking a
+few words to Mr. Linker before announcing him."
+
+"Oh, you did, did you? I hope you told him not to allow anyone to tempt
+him into trying to defraud the revenue."
+
+Hinton smiled feebly.
+
+"I understood from Mr. Linker," he said, "that he was inclined to
+consider your lordship's proposal sympathetically."
+
+"He'll have to do a great deal more than consider it. However, if he's
+got that far I may as well see him."
+
+Linker was a disagreeable little man with a pallid face, almost
+colourless shifty eyes and damp hands. He received Beth's thanks
+with many bows, but did not seem much excited by her offer of an
+advertisement in Lilith's Lispings.
+
+"Very much obliged to your ladyship, I'm sure," was all he said.
+
+He addressed Mary Lambert as "your ladyship" too, being perhaps under
+the impression that any ladies who associated on good terms with an
+earl must have titles of their own. He got away from the subject of his
+own business as soon as Jimmy entered the room, and made his appeal on
+behalf of the pageant.
+
+He said very much what Hinton had said in the morning, dwelling on the
+political advantage to Sir Evelyn of being associated with a popular
+and successful pageant--an advantage not at all obvious to anyone
+else--and the value to the pageant of Lord Colavon's help, which was,
+if possible, less obvious still.
+
+"I told Hinton to tell you," said Jimmy, "that I'm not going to touch
+your pageant. I'm not going to have anything to do with it. I'm not
+even going to see it."
+
+"Oh, Jimmy," said Mary, "it might be rather fun."
+
+"Aunt Agatha's pageant!" said Beth. "You must help if you can, though
+I don't see what good you can do except being a patron, and you're that
+already."
+
+"Now, I might be useful," said Mary--"really useful. I'm an actress,
+Mr. Linker."
+
+"Indeed, your ladyship?" said Linker.
+
+He did not seem impressed by this announcement. He perhaps thought that
+Mrs. Eames was capable of managing the acting part of it by herself.
+
+"I've always longed to produce a play," said Mary, "and a pageant would
+be nearly as good."
+
+"I'm sorry your mind is so definitely made up," said Sir Evelyn to
+Jimmy. "Mr. Linker seems to think---- The prospects of the Party in
+Morriton St. James--my own position as prospective candidate----"
+
+"If it's going to help you, Uncle Evie--but I'm blest if I see how it
+can."
+
+"Mr. Linker," said Sir Evelyn, "attaches great importance to the
+success of the pageant. I think perhaps that you ought----"
+
+"I need scarcely say, my lord," said Linker, "that in the management
+of the pageant we should be prepared to meet your lordship's wishes in
+every way."
+
+"In every way?"
+
+Jimmy looked Linker straight in the face and then turned his eyes on
+Hinton, who was standing near the door.
+
+"In _every_ way," said Linker, nervously but with the needed emphasis.
+
+"Certainly, my lord," said Hinton, "in every way."
+
+"Very well," said Jimmy. "As you all want me I'll do my best; but what
+exactly is it that you expect me to do?"
+
+"Get me a job with a good advertisement attached to it," said Mary.
+
+"Help Aunt Agatha," said Beth.
+
+Linker explained his wishes at greater length. Lord Colavon might
+undertake the purchase of the lugger and allow that fact to be
+advertised. He might superintend the rigging under the direction of Sir
+Evelyn. He might interest his friends in the pageant.
+
+"And steer the lugger when the great day comes," said Jimmy.
+
+"Certainly, if your lordship wishes."
+
+The assurance was definite enough and entirely satisfactory to Jimmy.
+The conversation passed on to the subject of patrons of the pageant.
+Linker pressed on Sir Evelyn, who had already done a great deal, the
+necessity of securing as many influential names as possible.
+
+"Another bishop would be very desirable, sir," he said.
+
+"But why do you want so many bishops?" said Mary. "Aren't they very
+liable to make objections? My Nautch Girl dance is perfectly all right,
+but----"
+
+"Although a Nonconformist myself," said Linker, "I cannot but be aware
+of the social position of the dignitaries of the Established Church.
+They would certainly be of great value to the pageant."
+
+He mentioned in a reverential whisper the name of a popular
+ecclesiastic, one of the few who are thoroughly well known to the
+public outside church circles.
+
+"If a few actresses would be of any use," said Mary, "I might get them."
+
+"As skittish as possible," said Jimmy. "Some ladies of the gayer kind
+will be wanted to balance all the bishops."
+
+"And if," Linker addressed Sir Evelyn again, "you could see your way to
+inviting----"
+
+He named a very great statesman, a man with a European reputation for
+the astute manipulation of international Congresses, Assemblies of the
+League of Nations and such things.
+
+"Not necessarily to be present at the pageant," said Linker
+apologetically. "That would be asking too much. But if we might make
+use of his name."
+
+"Do get him, Sir Evelyn," said Beth. "He'd be worth pounds to me in
+paragraphs. He and the bishops and Mary's actresses all together."
+
+Linker went on doggedly and shamelessly with his suggestions. There was
+scarcely anyone of eminence whom he did not suggest, except members of
+the Royal Family, and Sir Evelyn fully expected him to ask for a prince
+or two soon. He seemed to be working up in that direction, and at last,
+when he was plainly getting to the end of his list, he hesitated and
+apologised over a final name. It would scarcely have surprised anyone
+if he had mentioned the King himself.
+
+"And perhaps," he said, "we might secure the name of----"
+
+He looked round among his listeners as if uncertain to whom he ought to
+appeal for the man he wanted.
+
+"The name of Mr. East," he said at last, "would be of the greatest
+value to us."
+
+"Mr. East?" said Sir Evelyn vaguely.
+
+He had never heard of Mr. East.
+
+"Mr. E. P. East," said Linker, as if that explained the thing.
+
+"Who is he?" said Sir Evelyn.
+
+"Mr. E. P. East," said Linker, "is the Head Surveyor of Customs and
+Excise in this district."
+
+Beth and Mary were totally uninterested in this suggestion. The name
+of Mr. E. P. East would be useless for a paragraph and promised no
+desirable publicity. Sir Evelyn was still as much puzzled as when
+he first heard the name. He failed to see the value of Mr. East as a
+patron.
+
+"Of course," he said, "if you really want him I might be able to secure
+him."
+
+Jimmy, after looking hard at Linker's totally expressionless face,
+turned away and whistled softly.
+
+
+
+
+Chapter XIII
+
+
+The interview with Linker dragged itself to an end at last and the man
+bowed himself out of the room. Sir Evelyn took the two girls out to
+his rock garden and enjoyed himself. He had long been cut off from the
+society of cheerful and pretty young women who wanted to be agreeable
+to him and were clever enough to show an interest, which no one under
+fifty can really feel, in the names and nature of unattractive plants.
+Sir Evelyn, though old enough to enjoy rock plants, was not too old
+to enjoy pretty girls. A happy position and rare, for as a rule rock
+plants only become interesting after pretty girls have ceased to
+attract.
+
+Jimmy settled down for an hour's serious work in the butler's pantry
+where the Manor House telephone was kept. He began with the proprietor
+of the garage in Morriton St. James, went into all the symptoms of
+the Pallas Athene's breakdown, found that a diagnosis had been made
+and that a major operation would be required. There was little hope
+of the car running again for a week. After that he tried a trunk call
+to the office of the makers of the car. This was a difficult thing to
+procure but he did it in the end and had the satisfaction of telling a
+gentleman, described to him as "the boss" exactly what sort of car the
+Pallas Athene was. "The boss" retaliated by describing in vivid terms
+the kind of man who was fool enough to drive a perfectly new car, which
+had never been run in, at the rate of sixty miles an hour for several
+hundred miles.
+
+He had no direct evidence that the Pallas Athene had been driven in
+this way, but he knew something of Jimmy's reputation as a motorist,
+and he felt quite safe in making the accusation.
+
+It is creditable to Jimmy that he kept his temper during both
+conversations. The garage proprietor kept his and the "boss"
+only pretended to be angry as a means of self-defence against any
+claim which might be made on him under the terms of his guarantee.
+Considering how trying motor cars can be when they choose to behave
+badly this general self-restraint goes far to show that we are really
+becoming a civilised people, a thing which observers of our habit of
+going on strike might be inclined to doubt.
+
+When Sir Evelyn and the two girls returned from the rock garden Jimmy
+told them the news that there was no chance of getting away in the
+Pallas Athene. He spoke indecisively about trains and still more
+doubtfully about hiring another car. Sir Evelyn cut him short with a
+hospitable invitation to the whole party to stay with him for a week or
+a fortnight, until the Pallas Athene was repaired, or perhaps until the
+Hailey Compton pageant was over.
+
+Beth murmured a polite refusal which it was quite clear she did not
+really mean. Pressed by Sir Evelyn she confessed that gossip about
+London society can be invented anywhere and that the Lispings of
+Lilith could be just as well written in the Manor House at Morriton
+St. James as in the flat in Battersea. She also said something about an
+opportunity for visiting her aunt at Hailey Compton. Sir Evelyn cut her
+short.
+
+"You will be doing me a favour," he said, "by staying on till the
+pageant is over. I want someone to help me through with that affair."
+
+Mary Lambert was franker. She had no work to do in London. There was
+a possibility of her getting a job, in connection with the pageant,
+which, even if unpaid would bring her name before the public. She
+was also, though she only hinted at this, much more comfortable in
+the Manor House than she had ever been anywhere in her life before,
+and--this consideration weighs a little with all of us--it is very
+convenient to be housed and fed free, especially when earning no
+salary. A few clothes--she and Beth said this simultaneously--could be
+sent for from London.
+
+Jimmy had no hesitation about accepting the invitation. He, perhaps he
+alone, took his uncle's polite assurance at its face value.
+
+"You do want someone to look after you, Uncle Evie," he said, "and
+that's a fact. I'm not saying anything against Hinton or Linker, not a
+word. Both excellent fellows, no doubt. But they give me the impression
+of being pretty sharp men of business. When I think of that tenner of
+mine which Hinton trousered yesterday afternoon, and of what Linker's
+little bill will probably be I tremble to think of the extent to which
+the two of them will probably stick you."
+
+Sir Evelyn smiled amiably at the suggestion that he needed a protector
+and made a mild joke about his nephew's fitness for the part of tutor
+to innocent old age.
+
+"Besides," Jimmy went on, "I'm getting quite keen on this pageant of
+yours and rather see myself in the part of captain of the lugger."
+
+When it was settled that the whole party would remain at the Manor
+House Jimmy suggested a drive over to Hailey Compton as a suitable
+amusement for the day. Like most men over fifty Sir Evelyn dreaded
+picnics and suggested that they should lunch comfortably at home
+before starting. He was strongly opposed to Beth's suggestion that they
+should ask Mrs. Eames for luncheon. But neither Beth nor Mary wanted
+to spend the rest of the morning in the rock garden, and a compromise
+was arranged. The party would take its own food, but eat it, along
+with anything Mrs. Eames provided, in the vicarage. This, like most
+compromises, combined the most objectionable features of both plans.
+The food would be picnic food, cold, sandwichy and scrappy, which was
+exactly what Sir Evelyn disliked. The company would be that of Mrs.
+Eames, which he dreaded.
+
+An hour and a half later Sir Evelyn's little car, this time driven
+in masterful fashion by Jimmy, reached the long stretch of bare,
+undulating land above Hailey Compton. The road, a narrow white belt,
+stretched straight until it seemed to end abruptly on the very edge of
+the cliff. The car sped on faster than that car had ever gone before.
+Jimmy eyed the road in front of him suspiciously.
+
+"Is there a way down," he said, "or do we stop here and take to
+parachutes?"
+
+"It's very steep," said Sir Evelyn. "Do be careful."
+
+"Brakes all right?" said Jimmy without slowing down.
+
+"I hope so. I trust so," said his uncle.
+
+Jimmy, though daring, was not reckless. With rapid motion of hand
+and foot he changed gear. The car sped forward with a shrill cry.
+Jimmy changed gear again, and took the first of the sharp bends at a
+little over twenty-five miles an hour. His passengers clung tightly
+to the sides of the car. The brakes stuttered. The low gear cried more
+shrilly. Another corner was safely passed.
+
+"Nasty place on a foggy night," said Jimmy, "if you happened to be
+trying it for the first time."
+
+He went boldly on, for it was neither night nor foggy. The sun
+glittered on a calm sea far below them. The steep, thatched roofs of
+the fishermen's cottages were seen, as roofs seldom are except by those
+who go about in aeroplanes. The little boat haven, in reality a slimy
+pool, looked like a glowing gem. The vicarage, somewhat apart from
+the village, was modestly picturesque like a shy girl in light summer
+clothes. The church, its squat, grey tower bathed in sunlight, stood on
+guard above the village, perched on the little plateau, the sea and the
+cliffs below it, a tall, rugged cliff rising high behind and above it.
+
+"Isn't it perfectly lovely?" said Mary, who had never seen Hailey
+Compton before.
+
+She had got over her first fear of the steepness of the descent.
+Sir Evelyn, sitting beside her in the back of the car, was still too
+nervous to join in admiration of the scenery.
+
+"I do wish he'd be more cautious," was all he could say.
+
+Jimmy, guided by Beth, swept along the village street, charged the
+short hill to the vicarage gate and pulled up before the door.
+
+Mrs. Eames rushed out to welcome them. She kissed Beth vehemently,
+grasped Sir Evelyn's hand and shook it with affectionate violence, was
+introduced to Mary, and kissed her, was introduced to Jimmy and looked
+for a moment as if she meant to kiss him.
+
+"You'll lunch with us, of course," she said. "I'm so sorry Timothy
+isn't here, Sir Evelyn, and he won't be back for lunch I'm afraid,
+unless I send for him. But I will send for him. Gladys shall go. He's
+up in the church."
+
+"Still?" said Sir Evelyn.
+
+He was a little surprised. Mr. Eames had retired to the church three
+weeks before. It seemed scarcely possible that he had been there ever
+since.
+
+"Your poor dear uncle," said Mrs. Eames to Beth, "is more tiresome than
+I've ever known him before. Not that I want to say a word against him.
+He's a darling, but it is tiresome of him to spend all of every day
+in the church. I never see him except at night, and do you know what
+I found out yesterday? He's taken a spade and a pickaxe up there with
+him. At least, if he hasn't taken them I don't know what's happened to
+them. I can't find them. The man who does the garden wanted the spade
+yesterday, and while he was looking for it he found that the pickaxe
+was gone too. So annoying."
+
+"Couldn't be digging graves, could he?" said Jimmy not very helpfully.
+
+"Oh, no," said Mrs. Eames. "Poor Timothy never does anything as useful
+as that. You wouldn't think it of him if you knew him, Lord Colavon,
+and of course it may not be he who has taken the spade. I only said he
+had because I can't think of anyone else who would take it. But what
+would he want a pickaxe for inside the church? And he never comes out.
+He just sits there all day, reading Greek, you know."
+
+Sir Evelyn, though he did not say so, was of opinion that the vicar
+must have gone mad. St. Paul, who also seems to have read Greek books,
+was suspected of having been driven insane through much learning.
+Something of the sort might have happened to Mr. Eames; but Sir Evelyn
+was more inclined to lay the blame on Mrs. Eames. He thought it likely
+that he would be mad too if he had been married to her.
+
+"So you're really an actress," said Mrs. Eames, turning abruptly to
+Mary. "You did say she was a real actress, didn't you, Beth? Isn't
+that lucky? You must know all about pageants, if you're an actress, and
+you'll be able to help us. I do want someone to help. You'll come and
+stay with us till the pageant's over, won't you? You can have Beth's
+room. Or if Beth comes too, you can share it. You'll come, won't you,
+Beth?"
+
+"Miss Lambert and Miss Appleby," said Sir Evelyn, "have kindly
+consented to stay with me till the play is over."
+
+"Quite right," said Mrs. Eames cheerfully. "They'll be far more
+comfortable with you. I'd love to have them both. You know that, Beth.
+But--well, you know what Gladys is like."
+
+"But of course I'll help," said Mary. "I'll come over every day."
+
+"How splendid. We'll have a rehearsal this afternoon. Gladys shall
+run round the village and tell the people. She'll like doing that far
+better than cooking lunch. I'm afraid there isn't very much for lunch.
+You see, I haven't been having regular meals since poor dear Timothy
+took to living in the church. But we might have pancakes. You like
+pancakes, don't you, Sir Evelyn?"
+
+"We shouldn't dream of trespassing on your kindness, Mrs. Eames," said
+Sir Evelyn. "We brought our own luncheon with us."
+
+"So if you'll just lend us knives and forks, Aunt Agatha," said Beth.
+
+Many women, slaves to conventionality, would have been vexed to think
+that guests, arriving at luncheon time, had brought their own food with
+them. Mrs. Eames was not even ruffled.
+
+"But you must have pancakes too," she said, "and scrambled eggs. I'm
+rather good at scrambled eggs. And luckily the hens are all laying just
+now. Generally they do nothing but go broody at this time of year.
+It may have been excitement about the pageant which kept them from
+sitting. Not that they understand what's happening, poor things, but
+excitement gets into the air. So we can have pancakes and scrambled
+eggs. I know you like scrambled eggs, Sir Evelyn."
+
+"Oh, greatly," said Sir Evelyn. "But I really wish you wouldn't take so
+much trouble."
+
+"It won't be any trouble," said Mrs. Eames. "Gladys's aunt is nearly
+sure to be in the kitchen, and if so she can make the pancakes. Gladys
+can't or won't or both. I wish I could offer you an omelette. Beth,
+dear, can you make omelettes?"
+
+"I can," said Mary Lambert. "At least I think I can. Do let me try."
+
+"I used to think I could," said Mrs. Eames, "and sometimes I can, but
+not always. In fact generally my omelettes turn out to be scrambled
+eggs. That's why I think it's better to say scrambled eggs at once.
+Then if they do happen to be omelettes it's a pleasant surprise,
+whereas if I said omelettes and then produced scrambled eggs Timothy
+might be disappointed. Come along, Mary dear. You won't mind my calling
+you Mary, will you. It's so stiff to go on saying Miss Lambert when
+we're going to make an omelette together. You can get out the plates
+and lay the table, Beth. You'll find a table cloth somewhere. I'm sure
+Sir Evelyn would like a table cloth and I have several if only they're
+clean. The fact is, I never have a table cloth when Timothy isn't here.
+I know I ought to. So bad for Gladys when I don't."
+
+She took Mary by the arm and led her off to the kitchen.
+
+"I think," said Beth, "that I'd better go and look for the table cloth."
+
+"Wait one moment," said Jimmy, "till I get the luncheon basket out of
+the car and then I'll be with you. I feel sure it'll take two of us to
+find that table cloth."
+
+"Am I to be left alone?" said Sir Evelyn. "I don't like it. If Mrs.
+Eames comes back and finds me unprotected---- Perhaps the best thing
+for me to do would be to join the vicar in the church. Do you suppose
+he took the pickaxe as a weapon of defence? I feel as if I should like
+something of the sort."
+
+"Your aunt," said Jimmy, a few minutes later, "is perfectly priceless."
+
+They were searching in the dining-room for the table cloth and so far
+had not come on a trace of it.
+
+"There's a lot of go about her," said Beth.
+
+"Go! I should think there was. I only wish there was half as much in
+the Pallas Athene. I wonder now, if I asked her very nicely, would she
+come over to Morriton St. James some day and take a look at that car.
+If anyone could get a move on the wretched thing it would be your aunt.
+She'd make anything in the world hop up and run about."
+
+
+
+
+Chapter XIV
+
+
+The rehearsal in the afternoon was a success, though tiring to all who
+took part in it.
+
+Gladys, useless as housemaid or cook, showed that there was something
+she could do really well when she was turned into a messenger. Released
+quite unexpectedly from duties she detested, she sped joyfully round
+the village, summoning performers to the mouth of the cave at three
+o'clock. Her excited account of the ladies and gentlemen who had come
+from London to organise the pageant, roused fresh interest in an affair
+which the people were beginning to find a little tiresome.
+
+Gladys did more than summon the performers. She summoned everyone
+else too, insisting that the whole village should turn out. She even
+gave, in the name of the vicar, a totally unauthorised order to the
+schoolmaster that the children should be released an hour before the
+proper time. The schoolmaster knew quite well that the vicar had sent
+no such message; and would have acted without authority if he had;
+but he wanted to see the rehearsal himself, so he pretended to believe
+Gladys. In this he showed not only self-indulgence but wisdom. It was
+doubtful whether he could have kept the children in school if he had
+wanted to.
+
+Mrs. Eames's arrangements had been carefully made, and the great scene
+thoroughly thought out. Old Bunce's boat, representing the lugger, lay
+a hundred yards off the mouth of the cave. At the oars sat eight of the
+steadiest and most reliable men in the village, chosen to be the crew
+of the lugger on the day of the performance. With these men there was
+no trouble at all. They took the business seriously and were ready to
+do exactly as Mrs. Eames bade them. They sat, over their outstretched
+oars, ready to pull to the shore the moment the signal was given.
+
+Tommy Whittle and his mentally deficient brother were the signallers.
+At the actual performance they were to light a flare on top of the
+church tower. At rehearsal they merely waved a flag from the churchyard
+wall. The lighting of flares in broad daylight would have been
+foolishly wasteful, and they could not get into the tower, even for
+purposes of rehearsal, because the vicar kept all the church doors
+locked. Their part was clear, and Tommy thoroughly understood it. His
+brother, in spite of his feebleness of mind, was quite capable of doing
+what he was told. Indeed he was more likely to obey orders literally
+and swiftly than a man who could think for himself; which shows that it
+is a mistake to develop the intelligence of soldiers, trade unionists,
+the rank and file of political parties, and others who depend on
+discipline for their efficiency.
+
+On the green beside the boat haven, where the nets were dried and
+the geese paraded, it was arranged that eight pack horses should
+stand ready to be loaded with smuggled goods. Each horse was to be in
+charge of two girls. This was perhaps not strictly in accordance with
+historical precedent, but Mrs. Eames felt that some female parts were
+required and the holding of the heads of pack horses seemed the most
+suitable thing for girls to do. Only one horse could be secured for the
+rehearsals, so the sixteen girls took it in turn to hold the creature.
+
+On the occasion of the great rehearsal summoned by Gladys the whole
+sixteen girls turned out and argued fiercely, each pair alleging that
+it was their turn to hold the horse. Mrs. Eames's first duty, when
+she came down with her party from the vicarage, was to settle this
+dispute, a very difficult thing, for the mothers of the girls were
+all there eager to support their daughters' cause. This made a total
+of twenty-eight women (four mothers had two daughters each), who
+all talked at once and loudly. Perhaps only Mrs. Eames among living
+Englishwomen could have talked down so many competitors. The horse
+itself, an elderly wise beast, strolled about the green, nibbling at
+the grass. It would have been there when wanted even if no girl had
+held its head. Village maidens, when intent on claiming their rights,
+are voluble. Their mothers, having had more practice, talk even more
+and faster. All, mothers and daughters, talked at once. Sir Evelyn,
+who walked with Mrs. Eames at the head of the party from the vicarage,
+looked hopelessly at the turmoil. Jimmy and the two girls stopped at
+the edge of the green, waiting to see how Mrs. Eames would deal with
+the situation. Her plan was simple. She talked faster, louder and with
+shorter pauses for breath than anyone else. One by one the girls were
+battered into silence by a hailstorm of words. One by one their mothers
+gave up the unequal contest. Then Mrs. Eames selected two girls to hold
+the horse, and, by way of compensation for disappointment, promised
+that a little later Mary Lambert would teach them all the proper way to
+do it, the way proper to the occasion, the way horses are held on the
+stage.
+
+"Miss Lambert," said Mrs. Eames, "is a real actress, and she knows all
+about pageants and exactly how things ought to be done. As soon as the
+rehearsal is over you shall all come back here and she'll show you."
+
+Mary Lambert had never held a horse in her life on or off the stage.
+She said so to Mrs. Eames in an appealing whisper.
+
+"Or if she doesn't teach you that," said Mrs. Eames, "she'll teach you
+something else quite as nice. But you must keep quiet now and let me
+get on with the rehearsal. What will you teach them, Mary?"
+
+"I'll teach them to dance," she said. "I'll teach them my Nautch Girl
+dance. It's tremendously fetching and they'll be able to learn their
+part quite easily. You'll be able to fit it in somewhere, won't you,
+Mrs. Eames?"
+
+Sir Evelyn protested feebly against a Nautch Girl dance in a pageant
+of eighteenth century English life; but he was not allowed to say very
+much. Mrs. Eames welcomed the proposal and explained just where and
+when the dance could take place.
+
+That settled the trouble on the green; but worse trouble waited at the
+mouth of the cave.
+
+All children have an instinct which enables them to know with certainty
+when they will be most troublesome to their elders, and a desire,
+which they make no effort to suppress, to collect together in just
+that place. The Hailey Compton school children, who might have found
+amusement in helping their elder sisters to hold the horse or in
+watching the Whittles waving the signal flag, preferred to gather at
+the mouth of the cave. Having unexpectedly escaped from school they
+were full of vitality and spirits. The whole sixty of them ran rapidly
+to and fro in different directions, leaped from rock to rock with
+shouts of joy, and often fell, the tumbles being followed by cries of
+pain.
+
+Besides the children there were some thirty or forty village people
+who had no part in the pageant gathered at the mouth of the cave. Their
+number was increased by the arrival of the fourteen girls who had been
+told not to hold the horse, and the whole twelve mothers. Mrs. Eames
+had to deal with them as well as with the children.
+
+Her difficulties were increased by young Jim Bunce, son of the
+man chosen to be captain of the lugger. He had been given the part
+of leader of the men on shore who landed the cargo. He had lost a
+complicated arrangement of ropes and pulleys which he called a tackle.
+This was a valuable, according to his account an indispensable, stage
+property. Nothing, so he said, could be done unless the tackle was
+found.
+
+"How are us to unload the boat without we have a tackle?" he asked, and
+kept on asking in a steady, emotionless monotone.
+
+He regarded Mrs. Eames as responsible for the tackle, blamed her for
+the loss and seemed to take it for granted that she either knew where
+the thing was or possessed some means of finding it out. He did not
+actually say so, but his tone implied that if the rehearsal and the
+final performance broke down, as they would unless the tackle was
+found, Mrs. Eames would have no one to blame except herself. He had
+a statement which he made repeatedly and very slowly about the loss.
+After the last rehearsal he had left the tackle coiled up and in good
+order on top of a rock far above high-water mark just inside the cave.
+From that rock it had disappeared. This must have been true, for he
+repeated it at least twenty times without the smallest variation of
+detail.
+
+While Mrs. Eames appealed to the unwanted people to go away, Jimmy
+Bunce appealed to her to find his tackle. While she pursued flying
+children he followed her. When she caught a child he caught her and
+repeated his statement. When she paused breathless after vain pursuit
+of a swift child, Jimmy Bunce was at her side. Sometimes he attributed
+the loss of the tackle to evilly disposed people inspired by the
+devil who had entered into them. Sometimes he seemed to think that the
+devil had acted personally in the matter, without using human agency.
+But--whether man or devil were the culprit--he held that Mrs. Eames was
+responsible.
+
+She ought to have managed somehow to bring to naught the evil that the
+craft and subtlety of the devil or man had worked against Jimmy Bunce.
+If she had not done or could not do that, then the vicar, so Jimmy
+hinted, ought to give up saying the Litany.
+
+Gladys managed to add a little to Mrs. Eames's difficulties. She had
+been given a responsible and important job to do. The signallers,
+Whittle and his brothers, could not see how the preparations for
+landing were getting on, because the churchyard wall, where they were
+stationed, was just above the mouth of the cave. Someone had to run
+off to the end of the beach and tell them when all was ready for the
+signal to be given. Gladys undertook to do this and promised to stand
+waving her arms in full view of the Whittles when the time came for the
+arrival of the boat. She was eager and excited, so eager and excited
+that she ran after Mrs. Eames wherever she went, asking whether her
+time of action had yet come.
+
+Mary Lambert viewed the scene with professional calm. She was
+accustomed to a certain amount of confusion at early rehearsals
+and felt confident that things would settle down at the end. In the
+meantime she caught Mrs. Eames whenever she could and asked intelligent
+and important questions. "Where," for instance, "would the spectators
+be on the day of the performance?" "Where would the orchestra be
+placed?" "What kind of platform would be provided for the Nautch Girl
+dance?"
+
+Mrs. Eames, one of those fortunate people who enjoy fuss, replied
+to her as she replied to Jimmy Bunce and Gladys, without a sign of
+irritation, though sometimes a little hurriedly.
+
+Sir Evelyn was gloomy. It did not seem to him possible that order
+would ever be achieved or the rehearsal be done. He asked himself,
+not for the first time, whether he had not been a fool to mix
+himself up with any undertaking managed by a woman like Mrs. Eames.
+Foreseeing reproaches afterwards, he bitterly regretted having asked
+his friends to be patrons of the pageant. He sat on a rock with his
+back to the turmoil and gazed out to sea. There, a hundred yards or
+so from the shore, lay Bunce's laden boat. The crew sat bent over
+their outstretched oars, calm and indifferent to the passing of time.
+Now and then when the rising tide carried their boat eastward, they
+dipped their oars, and with quiet, effortless motion regained their
+position off the mouth of the cave. Sir Evelyn, smoking cigarette after
+cigarette, marvelled at a patience which he could not hope to imitate.
+
+Young Bunce left Mrs. Eames for a while and fastened on Sir Evelyn. He
+was not an Ancient Mariner, and his eye was more fishy than glittering,
+but he held his auditor as firmly as Coleridge's hero held his. The
+tale of the lost tackle was not so long as that of the lost ship,
+but Sir Evelyn had to listen to it three times and always with the
+feeling--successfully conveyed also to Mrs. Eames--that he was to
+blame for the disaster. Sir Evelyn tried the plan constantly adopted
+by worried men. An Anglo-Saxon king gave Dane Gelt to the invaders
+of the land. Modern statesmen give increasing doles to the insurgent
+proletariat. Sir Evelyn gave young Bunce ten shillings with which to
+buy another tackle. Bunce accepted the money, explaining as he did so
+that tackles are made and not bought and that it would take at least a
+week to achieve a new one. But the ten shillings was not wasted. Unlike
+the ancient Dane Gelt and the modern dole, it achieved its object.
+Jimmy Bunce went away. He feared that if he stayed he might be forced
+to give the money back. Although tackles cannot be bought other things
+can, and young Bunce wanted to keep the money if he could.
+
+"Beth," said Jimmy, "I'm almost fed up with this."
+
+They had been watching Mrs. Eames's efforts to get her company together
+and to clear the stage of superfluous people. They had even tried to
+help her. When it became clear that they were doing more harm than good
+they stood on a rock above the tumult and watched again. It was after
+ten minutes of this second watching that Jimmy became bored.
+
+"Let's toddle off somewhere," he said.
+
+"Where?" said Beth. "Back to the vicarage?"
+
+"I suppose," said Jimmy, "that there's no chance of raising a couple of
+cocktails anywhere?"
+
+"There's James Hinton's pub. But----"
+
+"No go. Hinton would manage it if he was there. Not a fellow in
+England is better at dry Martinis than Hinton. But he's not there. He's
+probably buying a dress shirt for me and a ready-made dinner jacket
+from his friend Linker, so we may regard the cocktails as off."
+
+"Would you care to look at the church?"
+
+"No. Why should I?"
+
+"People generally do in strange places," said Beth. "It's one of the
+things that's always done."
+
+"Can't think why. I hate churches myself."
+
+"So do I." said Beth; "but there's nothing else to see in Hailey
+Compton except---- What about exploring the cave?"
+
+"Is there anything to explore?"
+
+"It's supposed to go miles and miles inland," said Beth, "and nobody's
+ever been to the end of it. They say it's haunted."
+
+"Ghosts of dead smugglers! Let's go and find one."
+
+"There won't be any if I go," said Beth. "Nothing spooky ever comes off
+when I'm there. I've tried lots of times. Spiritualist séances and so
+on. The beastly things work all right, so I'm told, till I come, but
+then they simply dry up."
+
+"I'm not particularly spooky myself," said Jimmy, "but we might try.
+Hunting the elusive ghost would be better than standing here, even if
+we don't run one to earth."
+
+They climbed down from their rock and pushed their way among the groups
+of pageant actors, unwanted spectators, and children who were beginning
+to tire of running about. They scrambled over a ridge of sharp rocks
+and dropped on to a broad track covered, like the beach outside, with
+round white stones. The sound of the voices behind them grew fainter.
+Even Mrs. Eames's voice died away. Their steps upon the rolling stones
+made a hollow, growling sound which reverberated from the walls and
+roof of the cave, multiplied and increased in volume.
+
+The light grew feebler as they went on. They felt, rather than saw,
+that they were ascending steeply. But the roof of the cave was still
+remotely high, only dimly discernible in the gloom, and the walls were
+still far apart. There were no signs of coming to the end.
+
+Beth turned and looked round. The sea and sky were like a picture in
+a frame, very distant, incredibly bright. Bunce's boat, the crew still
+crouched over their oars, was plainly to be seen. The moving figures at
+the entrance to the cave were silhouetted black outlines against the
+background of sea and sky. Beth, in a voice which sounded strangely
+deep, called Jimmy to look.
+
+After that they saw the world outside no more. The cave bent to the
+right. The light got feebler, so dim that now and then Jimmy had to
+strike matches in order to be able to see what was before them. It was
+plain at last that the walls were closing in, that the way was narrowed
+and the roof lower than it had been.
+
+"Getting near the end," said Jimmy. "If we're to come on a ghost of any
+sort it must be now or never."
+
+
+
+
+Chapter XV
+
+
+"Listen," said Beth suddenly.
+
+She spoke in a gasp, the toneless whisper of someone who is frightened.
+
+From far above them came sounds, sometimes of light tapping, sometimes
+as if a man were scraping at the roof of the cave. Jimmy struck another
+match, one of the last left in his box, and held it out in front
+of him. They had reached the end of the cave. The roof above them
+descended sharply and met a wall of solid rock through which there
+was no possibility of passing. But in the roof there was a hole. The
+match held aloft revealed it, very black, wide as the chimneys of the
+fireplaces to be found in old houses. It was from the hole that the
+sounds of tapping and scraping came.
+
+Suddenly from very far up came a new sound, a distant rattling.
+It increased and drew nearer. A large stone, striking the sides of
+the chimney sharply as it descended, crashed at their feet and was
+shattered into atoms.
+
+Such a thing was alarming enough without any suggestion of the
+supernatural about it. The force with which the stone struck the ground
+showed that it had fallen from a considerable height. Jimmy seized
+Beth by the arm and pulled her to one side of the cave, out of reach of
+other stones which might come crashing down.
+
+"Oh," gasped Beth, "what is it?"
+
+"Sounds rather like a smuggler's ghost pelting us," said Jimmy. "A
+damned dangerous thing to do in a place like this without shouting
+'Heads' or 'Fore' or any kind of warning."
+
+"Jimmy," said Beth, "I'm terrified."
+
+She was experiencing for the first time in her life a kind of fear
+which she had often laughed at. It is easy enough to be cheerfully
+sceptical about ghosts in broad daylight and among familiar things, or
+to boast of immunity from spookiness when nothing unusual is happening.
+It is quite another matter when stones take to falling out of a black
+unknown into a narrow, gloomy place, where every movement and every
+word make hollow sounds, horribly suggestive of infernal things, when
+the terrifying crash echoes from rocks on the right, on the left and
+above, when there is no way of accounting for such happenings. Then
+cheery scepticism is likely to be chased away by awe. Beth was a prey
+to the kind of fear in which investigators of the occult find a painful
+delight, an excruciating ecstasy, which, in apologising to the rest of
+us, the experimenters call scientific curiosity.
+
+She clung tight to Jimmy's arm with both hands.
+
+For a minute or two they stood waiting and listening. No more stones
+dropped down the chimney. The noise of tapping and scratching which
+they had heard ceased. There was complete silence, as dull and heavy
+as the atmosphere of the cave. It was Jimmy who broke it. He had been
+puzzled by the noise above him and startled by the falling stone, but
+he had not felt the fear of the supernatural which had swept over Beth.
+When he spoke it was in a tone very reassuring to the girl who clung to
+him.
+
+"Futile sort of old ghost," he said. "I don't call one stone much of a
+demonstration, do you?"
+
+"But," said Beth, who was recovering her self-possession, "it wasn't
+really a ghost. I mean to say, it couldn't have been. But what was it?
+Who dropped the stone?"
+
+"If you ask me, I'm inclined to think----"
+
+There he stopped abruptly. The noises of tapping and scraping had begun
+again. Tap, tap, tap, far up above their heads, and then a crunching
+sound. It was as if someone at a considerable distance was striking
+with a pickaxe and shovelling up loose earth. Jimmy listened intently.
+
+"If you ask me," he repeated, "I'm inclined to think that somebody is
+trying to knock a hole in the roof of this cave. What's above us here,
+Beth?"
+
+"I don't know," said Beth. "The cliff, I suppose."
+
+"Well, then, there's somebody on the top of the cliff digging a hole.
+Can't imagine what he wants to do such a thing for!"
+
+He struck a match and looked up. The hole, a large space of inky
+blackness, was some six feet from the ground. It was wide and the rocks
+at its side were jagged.
+
+"If I could get a grip on that craggy bit that is sticking out," said
+Jimmy, "I could pull myself up into the hole. It's probably easy enough
+climbing after that. Just stand clear for a minute while I jump. I'll
+have a try at it."
+
+But Beth was not inclined to let him try. Instead of standing clear she
+clung to him more tightly than before.
+
+"Don't do it, Jimmy," she said.
+
+"Still nervous about the smuggler's ghost?"
+
+"I'm not thinking about ghosts. Suppose another stone came down when
+you were halfway up that chimney?"
+
+That was a real peril and Jimmy was obliged to consider it. Jammed
+tight in what might very well prove to be a narrow passage he would
+be quite defenceless against a falling stone. As if to emphasise
+the reality of the risk, there came rumbling and clattering down
+the chimney a shower of pebbles and loose earth. Beth was startled
+again--so startled, that she loosed her grasp round Jimmy's elbow and
+flung her arms round his neck.
+
+"Jimmy, dearest," she said, "you'll be killed if you go."
+
+It is very likely that he would have been killed, for a small avalanche
+of stones, pebbles and earth came rushing down. The loose debris
+clattered and crashed on the floor of the cave, some of the stones
+rolling up to Beth's feet. Jimmy pulled her back still further from the
+hole.
+
+"Don't go, Jimmy," she said.
+
+"All right. I won't. It's not good enough. But I say, Beth----"
+
+Relieved of her fear for him and far enough from the hole to feel safe
+herself, Beth realised that she was clinging very close to Jimmy. The
+position, though very pleasant for him, was embarrassing for her. She
+drew away quickly.
+
+"I say, Beth," said Jimmy, "don't do that. What I mean to say is, go on
+doing that. Don't you think you ought to?"
+
+"I'm quite sure I ought not. I can't think how I came to do it."
+
+"If I say I'm going up the hole, you might do it again. Would you?"
+
+"Certainly not."
+
+"But when we're married," said Jimmy, "you'll more or less have to. I
+mean to say, it's the regular thing then. So I've always understood.
+And as we're engaged to be married now----"
+
+"We're not."
+
+"Well, as good as engaged."
+
+"We're not as good as engaged. I've told you that a dozen times at
+least, Jimmy. The most that I ever said was that we might be some time
+or other."
+
+"Can't see why not now," said Jimmy. "Here we are facing unknown
+dangers together, practically in the dark, and I've only one match
+left, pelted with stones by the ghosts of desperate smugglers, lost
+in the depths of a cavern measureless to man. If you won't agree to
+marry me now, Beth, I don't see how you ever will. It's a priceless
+opportunity. In all the novels I've ever read the heroine's maidenly
+resistance invariably collapses in the hour of peril--far less peril
+than ours, generally only a lion or a painted savage, absolutely
+nothing to a vengeful ghost."
+
+"Jimmy, dear, don't be silly. I'm still a little frightened. Let's get
+out of this."
+
+"If you're unmoved by the romance of the situation, though I don't see
+how anyone can be---- I say, just listen to that." The remote digger
+was apparently working harder than ever. The blows of iron on stone
+sounded clear and frequent. "How can you refuse to fall into the arms
+of your lover when a ghost is digging his own grave a few feet above
+your head?"
+
+"Do talk sense, Jimmy, and take me out of this."
+
+"I will. I'll do both. Talk sense first and then take you away. Uncle
+Evie was at me last night about you."
+
+"About me?"
+
+"Asking me why the deuce I didn't marry you."
+
+"Is that what you call talking sense? Sir Evelyn couldn't have said
+that?"
+
+"He did. He put it to me at the point of the bayonet. I can't remember
+his exact words, but what they amounted to was this: If I didn't marry
+you, he would. Now what do you say to that?"
+
+"I say that you've got an extraordinarily inventive mind. Also that you
+oughtn't to tell lies about your uncle."
+
+"It's not a lie," said Jimmy, "though I admit it's not the whole truth.
+The suggestion was that I should marry either you or Mary and that he'd
+marry the other, or rather that he'd marry one of you and I'd marry
+the other. I give you my solemn word of honour that that's what passed
+between us last night after you'd gone to bed."
+
+"You give me your solemn word of honour that Sir Evelyn suggested----"
+
+"As a matter of actual fact," said Jimmy, "the suggestion came from me.
+But Uncle Evie quite fell in with it. Quite. He hadn't a word to say
+against it."
+
+"Very well," said Beth, "I'll marry your Uncle Evie as soon as he asks
+me, and then you can marry Mary if she'll have you, which she probably
+won't. So now that's settled."
+
+"Very well. I'll give you a wedding present and all that. But now what
+about marrying me after Uncle Evie dies? I don't want him to die, for
+he's always been very decent to me. Still, nobody lives for ever, and
+he's well over sixty. What do you say to that?"
+
+"If I'm ever left a widow and you're a widower about the same
+time--don't forget you promised to marry Mary--I'll marry you. Will
+that satisfy you?"
+
+"It doesn't in the least. But I suppose it's as much as I'll get out of
+you to-day."
+
+"You won't get even that unless you take me out of this beastly cave
+where I'm smothering for want of air and terrified out of my senses."
+
+They stumbled back together to the bend in the cave from which it was
+possible to see the sunlight. Beth drew a deep breath of relief and
+hurried forward, as fast as it was possible to hurry over a track of
+round, rolling stones.
+
+"Don't rush so, Beth," said Jimmy. "I'm out of breath, and there's
+something I want to say to you."
+
+"If it's anything more about my marrying your uncle," said Beth, "I
+won't listen to it."
+
+"It's not. It's something more about your marrying me."
+
+They had reached the mouth of the cave. The rehearsal, well started at
+last, was going on in a serious and orderly way. Old Bunce's boat had
+reached the pool and was made fast to the rocks. Her cargo was being
+landed. Mrs. Eames shouted orders from the top of the rock off which
+she had dived on the day when Sir Evelyn first met her. The superfluous
+people and all the children were herded together under the charge of
+Mary Lambert, who prevented their interfering with the performance. Sir
+Evelyn, perched somewhat perilously beside Mrs. Eames, was looking on
+with satisfaction. Everybody was too busy and too deeply interested to
+take any notice of Beth and Jimmy when they came from the depths of the
+cave.
+
+"Beth," said Jimmy, "I'm quite serious this time."
+
+"So am I," said Beth. "I like you, Jimmy. I've always liked you; but
+I'm not going to marry a man who---- But I've told you all that a dozen
+times."
+
+"You have," said Jimmy, "and I quite see your point. I'm a rotter,
+a footering butterfly, perching on the flowers of life instead of
+gathering honey like a good, laborious bee. I don't go in for work and
+all that sort of piffle. That's it, isn't it, Beth? That's what you
+say."
+
+"Look at Aunt Agatha," said Beth, "married to a man who doesn't do
+anything, who just sits and moons and dreams."
+
+"Hang it all, Beth, you can't think I'd spend my life shut up in a
+church if you married me. I'm not that sort at all."
+
+"You'd spend your life playing about with motor-cars and things,"
+she said. "And, Jimmy, dear, can't you see that I couldn't bear to be
+married to a man who didn't do anything?"
+
+"I quite grasp that," said Jimmy.
+
+"Then why go on worrying me? For it does worry me."
+
+"I'm not going to worry you, Beth. What I want to do is to propose----"
+
+"I won't be proposed to again to-day."
+
+"I'm not going to propose in that sense of the word," said Jimmy. "I'm
+going to make a proposition. Suppose I go off now and unearth that
+smuggler's ghost, find out what he's at and why. Would you count that
+doing something? Something useful? Hang it all, Beth, I think you ought
+to. The old knights and fellows of that sort who went about killing
+dragons and giants were looked upon as most valuable members of society
+and the most conscientious girls were delighted to marry them. If I
+get rid of a ghost---- You may say what you like, Beth, but a ghost in
+a small village is a regular pest, much worse than most dragons. If
+I collar the malignant spirit of that smuggler and stop him throwing
+stones it'll be something done, won't it? A jolly sight more useful
+thing really than being chairman of a committee for infant welfare,
+which is the sort of thing you think I ought to do. If I smother that
+ghost, Beth, will you marry me?"
+
+"I'll--I'll think about it, Jimmy."
+
+
+
+
+Chapter XIV
+
+
+"Very well," said Jimmy, "come up to the church."
+
+"The church?"
+
+"You suggested going to the church before we explored the cave. What's
+wrong about going there now?"
+
+"But what do you want to go to the church for? You said you hated
+churches."
+
+"The mediæval knight," said Jimmy, "always went to church before he set
+out to slay dragons. He generally spent a whole day there, consecrating
+his sword and that sort of thing. Come on."
+
+"I won't go to the church with you if you're going to do anything
+profane or make jokes about religion."
+
+"I'm going to discover a ghost," said Jimmy. "You can't call that
+profane."
+
+They passed through the middle of the rehearsal. Mrs. Eames shouted at
+them entreating them to stop and give advice about the proper way of
+handling kegs supposed to contain French brandy. Sir Evelyn descended
+from his perch and wanted to start a discussion about the rigging of
+the lugger. Jimmy took no notice of either of them. He waved his hand
+cheerfully to Mrs. Eames, and when his uncle caught him by the sleeve
+scarcely allowed himself to be stopped.
+
+"Later on," he said. "I'll go into all that in an hour or so. Just at
+present I can't. I'm frightfully busy. I've a most pressing engagement.
+The whole future of the pageant depends on my keeping it. Come on,
+Beth."
+
+They crossed the beach and reached the green. There they were
+approached by the two girls who had been left in charge of the horse.
+Earlier in the day they had been eager enough to be allowed to hold
+it. Now they were thoroughly tired of the job, and felt that they were
+missing all the fun that was going on at the mouth of the cave. They
+wanted to be released.
+
+"Certainly not," said Jimmy. "Life isn't all fun. You ask this lady,"
+he pointed to Beth, "and she'll tell you that the great thing is to be
+real and earnest and doing some jolly useful kind of work, holding a
+horse, for instance, or chasing ghosts or anything of that sort which
+is really hard work and is done for the sake of others. That's it,
+isn't it, Beth?"
+
+Beth looked at the girls who wanted to be off and hated holding the
+horse. She looked at the horse, which also wanted to be off and hated
+being held.
+
+"I really think," she said, "that Aunt Agatha wouldn't mind if they
+went away."
+
+"Beastly inconsistent of you, Beth," said Jimmy. "I think you ought to
+tell those girls what you're always telling me. I mean about getting
+married. Now, listen to me, Millicent Pamela. And you, Gwendoline
+Irene--those are your names, I suppose."
+
+The girls grinned shamefacedly. With an instinctive knowledge of the
+taste of village people he had got the girls' names very nearly right.
+One of them was Auriole Millicent and the other Eunice Gwendoline.
+
+"The lady says that if you don't slay dragons or hold that horse or
+chase a ghost or do something like that, no nice man will ever marry
+you. That's it, isn't it, Beth?"
+
+But the girls did not wait to hear what Beth had to say. They were
+prepared to sacrifice their chance of getting husbands rather than miss
+the gathering at the mouth of the cave.
+
+Beth and Jimmy climbed the steep path which led to the church. The two
+Whittles, their flag signalling accomplished, had gone away. Jimmy
+walked slowly round the churchyard looking at the graves with some
+attention. The tombstones were all in place and looked as if they had
+not been disturbed for years. Not a single grave had been recently
+opened.
+
+"What are you doing?" said Beth.
+
+"Looking for the ghost," said Jimmy, "who's throwing stones through the
+roof of the cave."
+
+He climbed on the wall of the churchyard and looked down, standing in
+the very spot which had been occupied by the Whittles an hour before.
+He saw the green, where the horse, released from bondage, was grazing
+quietly. He saw the stony beach. He saw the face of the cliff beyond
+the cave. He peered over and looked straight down. He turned and looked
+at the cliff behind the church, a precipice of rugged rock.
+
+"Well, I'm hanged," he said.
+
+"What is the matter?" said Beth.
+
+"I'm hanged if I thought that even the ghost of a smuggler would have
+done it," he said. "What lawless ruffians those fellows were! But even
+so I'd have expected them to have some regard for the church."
+
+"I don't know what you're talking about," said Beth.
+
+"Well, you ought to know. And considering it was you who drove me on to
+do it I don't see how you can possibly not know."
+
+"Drove you on to do what?"
+
+"Find the ghost of the smuggler who's throwing stones. He must have dug
+a hole somewhere to throw them through, mustn't he? Even a ghost can't
+throw stones through solid earth. And he must have done it up here, for
+the place is right over the cave. My idea was that he was operating
+through a grave, his own very likely, but he isn't. Nothing could be
+more peacefully undisturbed than all these graves, not a tombstone
+so much as knocked sideways. Still there the facts are. Somebody is
+dropping stones from somewhere into the chimney at the end of the cave
+and if it isn't from a hole in the graveyard it must be from inside the
+church. The next thing is to go inside and look."
+
+"But Uncle Timothy's there," said Beth, "and if anybody was digging a
+hole in the church he'd stop them."
+
+"He might not. It all depends on who was digging. Lots of people would
+hesitate to interfere with the ghost of a smuggler."
+
+The south door of the church was locked. The small door which led into
+the vestry was locked, too. The large west door under the tower had
+not been opened for years. Loud knocking on one door after the other
+brought no answer.
+
+"Uncle Timothy," said Beth, "must have gone to sleep. I don't wonder.
+I expect Aunt Agatha keeps him awake most of the night telling him that
+he really ought to do something for the parish."
+
+"So he ought," said Jimmy. "I quite agree with your aunt. I quite agree
+with you, too, Beth, when you say that sort of thing. I wonder if we
+could open a window and climb in."
+
+"Church windows don't open," said Beth.
+
+Perhaps some day they will, if the Modernists get their way. Then
+all sorts of dangerous draughts will blow the altar hangings about,
+dissipate the smell of incense and dying flowers, even disturb the
+heavy stuffiness of centuries of ordered piety. In the meanwhile Beth
+was right. Church windows are not made to open.
+
+Next to getting in, which appeared to be impossible, the best thing
+was to look in. But here again there were difficulties. Church windows
+are set high in walls and cannot easily be reached. But Jimmy was a
+young man of great determination. He found a shed in a corner of the
+churchyard. In it the sexton kept a scythe, a mowing machine, some cans
+and a bier, a four-wheeled vehicle with rubber tyres. Jimmy wheeled
+it out and set it under a window. Beth protested. She feared that this
+use of a bier if not actually sacrilege was an offence against decency.
+Jimmy climbed up on the bier and peered through the window.
+
+He had a clear view of the nave of the church. He could peer down into
+the pews, could see the pulpit, the font and the lectern. There was
+no sign that the pavement or flooring had been disturbed anywhere.
+Worshippers might have entered, had in fact entered, three days
+before, and sat in their accustomed seats and listened to all that
+they expected to hear without being struck by anything unusual in the
+condition of their church.
+
+Jimmy moved the bier to a window in the chancel and climbed up on it
+again. He found himself looking down into the high-sided square pew,
+surrounded with curtains, which stood close to the chancel rails. It
+had been set apart a century before for the use of the lord of the
+manor. It had been unoccupied for at least fifty years by anyone,
+except the vicar, when he used it as a study and sat in one of the
+arm-chairs with the tattered carpet under his feet, reading Epictetus.
+
+When Jimmy looked down into it the arm-chairs had been moved and piled
+into a corner. The carpet had been rolled up. The flooring had been
+removed. In a deep hole in the middle of the pew he saw the back of the
+Reverend Timothy Eames bent low over a spade.
+
+"Well, I'm properly and completely damned," said Jimmy.
+
+Beth was steadying the bier, which had a tendency to run away whenever
+Jimmy moved. She was very naturally shocked at the use of this language
+by an unauthorised layman so near the church. The position of the
+clergy is quite different. They are actually commanded to say "damn"
+not only near but inside the church.
+
+"Jimmy dear," she said, "do you remember where you are?"
+
+"Get up here," he said, "and peep in. Then you'll forget where you are
+and either say 'damn' or something worse."
+
+He jumped down, upsetting the bier, a vehicle not designed for the use
+of active passengers. When it was on its four wheels again he helped
+Beth on to it and she took her turn at peering through the window.
+
+"Good gracious!" she said. "It's Uncle Timothy."
+
+"There's a Lisping for that Lilith of yours for next week," he said.
+"'The floor of a parish church dug up by pious vicar.' Such a thing has
+never been heard of before."
+
+"Jimmy," she whispered, "do you think---- I've heard that the clergy
+are often buried in the chancels of churches, and he does have a trying
+time sometimes with Aunt Agatha? Do you think he can be digging his own
+grave? Oh!"
+
+The exclamation was forced from her by the fact that the vicar,
+startled by some sound, suddenly stood upright and stared at her.
+Beth's nerves had already been shaken by the noises and the falling
+stones in the cave. It was small wonder that the sudden rising of her
+uncle from what looked like a grave startled her afresh.
+
+The vicar was nearly as frightened as she was. A face appearing at a
+church window high up in the walls of a chancel is scarcely likely to
+belong to a human being. In all probability it is an angel, and though
+we respect angels and like to sing hymns about them we do not want to
+come into personal contact with one. Their portraits are all very well
+and can be comfortably admired when painted on the glass of church
+windows. The actual face pressed against the glass outside is not such
+a pleasant thing to see.
+
+Mr. Eames recovered his self-possession before Beth regained hers. He
+recognised his niece, and having recognised her was embarrassed rather
+than frightened.
+
+"My dear Beth," he shouted, for it is necessary to shout if
+conversation is to be carried on through a stained glass window. "I
+didn't expect to meet you here, but I'm very glad, very glad indeed
+to see you. I'll come out to you and then we can both go down to the
+vicarage for tea. You're sure to want tea. I know I do. To tell you
+the truth I forgot to bring up any sandwiches to-day, so I've had no
+lunch."
+
+He rubbed a little of the clay off his hands, laid the floor boards of
+the pew over the hole and replaced the carpet. Then he unlocked the
+south door of the church and greeted Beth. She introduced Jimmy. The
+Vicar looked first at one and then at the other with a whimsical little
+smile.
+
+"You young people have caught me," he said. "But I hope----it's
+rather a humiliating request to make but I hope that you won't find it
+necessary to tell anyone what I was doing."
+
+"As if we would, Uncle Timothy," said Beth. "Especially Aunt Agatha."
+
+"Yes, yes, especially your aunt. Of course I'm going to tell her all
+about it in the end. But the fact is---- You know, my dear Beth, how
+your aunt is always telling me that I ought to do something for the
+parish."
+
+"Poor Uncle Timothy!" said Beth.
+
+"She's quite right," said Mr. Eames mildly. "I've always admitted that
+she's quite right. A man ought not to live without doing something."
+
+"That's exactly what Beth says to me," said Jimmy, "and she's quite
+right, too."
+
+"My difficulty," said Mr. Eames, "was to discover something which I
+could do, and at the same time something that would please your aunt.
+Now I think I've found the exact thing."
+
+"Uncle Timothy," said Beth, "I don't believe Aunt Agatha is as bad as
+that. I know she's really fond of you. She won't be pleased. She really
+won't. She'll be very sorry, heartbroken, when you tell her that you've
+dug your grave."
+
+"My grave! My dear Beth! Dug my grave! But I haven't. Nothing of the
+sort."
+
+"Then what on earth were you digging?" said Beth.
+
+"That," said the vicar, "is quite a long story."
+
+It was; but he told it. Sitting on a flat tombstone with Beth on the
+grass at his feet, and Jimmy, fairly comfortable, full stretch on the
+bier.
+
+Years before, soon after coming to Hailey Compton, the vicar had heard
+that there was some connection between the church and the cave. A
+legend existed, repeated without conviction by the old people in the
+parish, that the smugglers, in the irreverent days of the eighteenth
+century, used to store their goods in the church itself. But such
+stories are common all over England. There is scarcely an ancient
+church but rumour speaks of a covered way between it and a cave or the
+ruins of a monastery or a house which occupies the site of what was
+once a baron's castle. There is at least one church which tradition
+insists on connecting with a neighbouring public-house. If that passage
+could be found--and traces of it were discovered lately by men engaged
+in making a drain--it might be used as an argument by temperance
+reformers to demonstrate that an immoral alliance has always existed
+between the church and the brewery. Or by the advocates of more and
+better beer, to prove that the church, in the days when its faith was
+still undefiled by Henry VIII and Elizabeth, was not hostile to the
+natural joys of life. Such is the peculiar value of arguments based
+on historical and archæological research. They can be used with equal
+force on either side in any modern dispute.
+
+Mr. Eames, knowing the untrustworthy nature of local legends, paid
+no particular attention to that which connected his church with the
+smugglers' cave, and might never have investigated the matter if he had
+not been troubled by a loose board in the floor of the pew to which he
+had retired to read Epictetus. Day after day this board wobbled and
+shook under the leg of his chair when he sat down. He remembered the
+same thing happening when he had retired to the church for a few days
+during the starting of his wife's plays. Then, since he did not stay
+long, the thing had not mattered much. On the occasion of the pageant
+it became a serious annoyance. It was no use moving the chair, for
+wherever he put it one of its legs stood on a loose board. It appeared
+that nearly all the boards in the floor of that pew were loose.
+
+Goaded to exasperation he at last took up the well worn and exceedingly
+dirty carpet to find out what was the matter with the boards. He
+discovered to his amazement that they were not only loose but movable,
+and evidently intended to be movable. One of them had a brass ring,
+by which it could without difficulty be lifted out of its place. Once
+it was lifted those on each side could be moved too. Mr. Eames, mildly
+excited, uncovered a square hole into which it was possible to step.
+
+The legend of the existence of a passage connecting the church with
+the cave came back to his mind. There must, he thought, be some truth
+in it, for he had lit on what looked like the end of a passage leading
+from the church to somewhere, perhaps into the cave. With the aid of an
+ordnance survey map and some measurements which he took, he reached the
+conclusion that the end of the cave must be directly under the church.
+He discovered the chimney in the cave's roof which had excited Beth
+and Jimmy when they found it. It seemed perfectly plain that the hole
+inside the church and the chimney in the cave were part of one passage.
+Unfortunately the hole was filled with stones and loose earth. In order
+to establish the connection, Mr. Eames had to do some excavating. He
+brought up the spade from the vicarage and afterwards the pickaxe which
+Mrs. Eames missed and supposed to be lost or stolen. Coming on a large
+block of stone, one of the main causes of the obstruction, he found
+that he could not move it with his hands. He went very early in the
+morning and took young Bunce's tackle from the mouth of the cave. After
+the removal of that stone he got on rapidly and had almost completed
+the clearance when Beth and Jimmy visited the cave.
+
+"I have great hopes," he said simply, "that your aunt will be pleased
+when I show her the hole leading straight down into the cave."
+
+"I'm sure she will," said Beth.
+
+"And she'll never be able to say again that I do nothing for the
+parish. A discovery like that ought to be quite useful for any parish.
+Don't you think so?"
+
+"It will make Hailey Compton famous," said Beth, "and Aunt Agatha will
+be able to get up another pageant to show it off."
+
+Jimmy seemed uninterested in the ultimate value of the hole to the
+modern parish. He wanted to understand what it was like and how it was
+originally used.
+
+"Are there any remains of steps?" he asked.
+
+"Oh no," said Mr. Eames, "it's just a hole. In fact I shall have to be
+very careful not to fall through when I'm finishing off the digging."
+
+"I didn't see any sign of steps at the lower opening," said Jimmy.
+
+"They may have used ladders," said Beth.
+
+"My idea," said the vicar, "is that the men didn't go up and down at
+all. The passage was only used for hoisting things from the cave into
+the church. It's just a straight drop like a well, and anything could
+be pulled up."
+
+"Anyhow," said Jimmy, "it's a most interesting thing and everybody
+ought to be most grateful to you for finding it."
+
+"You really think so," said the vicar with an anxious little smile. "I
+should be very happy if I thought my wife would take that view of it."
+
+"Oh, she's sure to," said Beth.
+
+"But don't tell her about it until it's quite finished. It would be so
+much better if it comes to her as a surprise."
+
+"I won't open my lips," said Beth, "and you can count on Jimmy. He's
+most reliable."
+
+"And do you really think," said the vicar, appealing to Jimmy, "that I
+have succeeded at last in doing something for the parish?"
+
+"I can only say, sir," said Jimmy, rising from the bier, "that I wish
+I'd half your luck. I came up to your church this evening hoping to
+find something really useful to do, something which would redeem my
+life from mere fatuity----"
+
+"Oh, do shut up, Jimmy," said Beth. "I never said that."
+
+"Not in those words," said Jimmy, "not in nearly such nice words,
+though you are an author. But it's exactly what you meant. And now I
+find----" he turned to the vicar, "that you've been beforehand with me.
+I congratulate you."
+
+The vicar seemed puzzled. He looked inquiringly at Beth out of his
+colourless, watery eyes, while Jimmy shook his limp and earthy hand
+with painful heartiness.
+
+
+
+
+Chapter XVI
+
+
+Of the actual performance of the Hailey Compton pageant it is surely
+unnecessary to give any account here. Every newspaper in England
+devoted columns to the description of the brilliant scene. It is
+impossible for anyone to have escaped reading something about it
+and, knowing that it was an immense success, perhaps the most popular
+show since the Diamond Jubilee of Queen Victoria. The least observant
+among us can scarcely have helped looking at the picture of the last
+Prime Minister, in a silk hat and frock coat, shaking hands with Lord
+Colavon, the helmsman of the lugger, who was attired, in spite of Sir
+Evelyn's antiquarian scruples, in white flannels and a yachting cap.
+Quite as widely reproduced was the photograph of the bishop patting the
+head of one of the pack horses, while the two girls responsible for it
+stood beside him with chaste smiles, as if they expected to have their
+heads patted when the bishop had done with the horse; which indeed
+happened to both of them, though the photographs of that patting were
+not published.
+
+The day of the performance was singularly fine, which was pure luck,
+but helped greatly towards its success. Had it been raining or even
+drizzling the great scene would almost certainly have been a failure.
+The flare on the church tower might have smoked instead of blazing.
+The signal lamps on the lugger out at sea would have been invisible
+on shore. But it was not luck, it was skill, which chose the exact
+moment for the arrival of the lugger. An hour earlier, when the glow
+of the setting sun was still strong, the blaze on the tower would have
+been unimpressive, and the flashing lights at sea would have escaped
+notice altogether. An hour or two hours later, when the twilight had
+died away, it would have been impossible for the spectators to see what
+happened when the lugger reached the cave. But Mrs. Eames--Sir Evelyn
+got the credit in the newspapers but Mrs. Eames deserved it--chose
+what Beth in a description of the performance called the psychological
+moment. It was just dark enough for the signal lights to make a good
+display, and there was still light enough to allow the operations of
+landing the cargo to be observed.
+
+It was skill and not luck which selected the day for the performance,
+and here the credit belongs almost entirely to Lord Colavon. He
+discovered a day--perhaps the only day during the whole of that
+summer--when there was nothing else of great importance going on. Ascot
+was over. The Wimbledon Tennis Tournament had not yet begun. There was
+a pause between the first and second Test Matches. Yachts had not yet
+begun to race in popular waters. Interest in the regatta at Henley
+had died away. The fashionable world and that greater public which
+amuses itself in fashionable ways had nowhere particular to go on that
+particular day; no engagements and nothing fresh to talk about. The
+Hailey Compton Pageant filled a gap.
+
+It had been very well advertised, again a matter of skill, though
+mingled with luck. It was Beth Appleby who deserved praise for the
+advertising. She did not, indeed--no single person could--write
+all the preparatory notes and articles which appeared for weeks
+beforehand. She did not supply the papers with all the photographs
+they published. Other journalists, discovering and developing the
+popularity of the pageant, earned their guineas. But it was Beth who
+did the spade work and forced the pageant on the attention of editors
+who might otherwise not have noticed it. Her character sketch of James
+Hinton--"Valet and Artist"--attracted attention in a popular Sunday
+paper. A study of Mrs. Eames as an enthusiastic and successful reviver
+of the best features of mediæval village life, with its apt quotations
+from Blake's poems--"Dark, satanic mills" and "England's green and
+pleasant land"--won the sympathy and support of the intellectual
+neo-Catholics, a school of writers who still possess a great, though
+diminishing influence among the members of suburban literary societies.
+Her intimate account of Sir Evelyn's home life--"Studious research
+and patient pursuits of original sources"--was read, or at all events
+talked of, all over Oxford. It was she who circulated the first
+published photograph of the cave, several "camera portraits" of old
+Bunce, of the mentally deficient Whittle, and of Lord Colavon seated at
+the steering wheel of the Pallas Athene. Her success stimulated other
+photographers, and the press was flooded, though by no means sated,
+with snapshots of every person and place connected with the pageant.
+There was even, in one paper, a picture of Mr. Linker, standing, with
+a smile on his face, in front of the door of his shop in Morriton St.
+James.
+
+The results of all this care, thought and skill, were obvious early on
+the afternoon of the great day. People had talked to each other about
+Hailey Compton and wondered where it was. Newspapers found themselves
+obliged to publish road maps, often very inaccurate, to satisfy this
+desire for information. Motor-cars of every size and make converged
+on the stretch of down land above the cliffs, followed each other in
+a long procession along the road, and plunged, one after another, down
+the twisting lane. There were no accidents, because it was impossible
+for any car to break free from control and rush down the hill. When
+any brakes failed or any driver lost his nerve, his car merely bumped
+gently into the one in front. There was not room for it to gather
+dangerous speed before the collision and to produce disaster it would
+have had to push, not one or two but at least a hundred cars in front
+of it, a thing impossible for any single car to do.
+
+A little more than half-way down the hill Mr. Linker had established
+a kind of toll-gate through which no car was allowed to pass without
+the payment of a fee. Some people resented this interference with
+the freedom of the King's highway, but their protests were futile.
+They never had time to say much or express their feelings fully, for
+the pressure of the cars behind drove theirs forward while they were
+still arguing about their rights. The takings at this toll-gate were
+enormous.
+
+The catering for the multitude--preliminary afternoon tea and cold
+supper afterwards--was managed by James Hinton. There was, late in the
+evening, a shortage of ham, tongue and lamb, for the numbers exceeded
+all expectation. But the cold beef held out until the end and there was
+no failure of salad.
+
+For Mrs. Eames the day was one of unmixed and rapturous delight. Every
+single part of the performance went without a hitch, exactly as she
+had planned it. Even the mermaid dance--Mary Lambert and twenty village
+girls along the margin of the sea--was successful, a surprising thing
+and highly creditable to every one concerned in it, for it was very
+difficult to dance gracefully over large, round stones.
+
+Sir Evelyn was well pleased with himself and everyone else. His
+introductory speech, those few words, without which no function of any
+sort can get started, were taken down by eager reporters, and cheered
+by all who could hear them and many who could not. He had on one
+side of him the Chief of his Party, who shook hands with him in warm
+congratulation when the performance was over, and on the other side,
+the bishop, who graciously expressed a wish that the whole thing might
+be done again in the grounds of his palace, fifty miles inland, for
+the benefit of the cathedral funds. Other eminent men and women who
+clustered behind him, were fluent in their compliments, which was easy
+for them, because each one had come with a neat little speech prepared,
+in case, as each one hoped, such a thing should be required.
+
+Sir Evelyn felt that he was once more in his proper place, almost
+as prominent as he had been and hoped to be again when his Party
+was in power and he was a Cabinet Minister. But though pleased and
+satisfied, Sir Evelyn was exceedingly tired when the affair was over.
+His labours had begun long before he arrived at Hailey Compton for the
+performance, and continued for two whole days after the pageant was
+over. He entertained for the occasion all the more eminent patrons of
+the pageant, and they made a difficult party to manage. The bishop was
+as suave and smiling as a Christian prelate ought to be, and he got
+on very well with the young actress who talked with him in the latest
+slang. But he did not get on equally well with the titled doctor who
+happened to be an anti-Christian by temperament, and wanted to repeat
+all the witticisms he had ever heard about the Church when he found
+himself, a little unexpectedly, in distinguished company. There were
+moments of anxiety when the judge, who was strongly prejudiced against
+all doctors, insisted on saying what he thought about expert medical
+witnesses, and the evidence they gave. Beth Appleby and Mary Lambert
+would, perhaps, have been no great help to Sir Evelyn even if they had
+been still at the Manor House. They had both gone to the vicarage at
+Hailey Compton before the important guests arrived. Mary had to be on
+the spot for rehearsals of the mermaid dance. Beth found it desirable
+to be at the centre of activity. Both knew that there would be no
+room for them at the Manor House and had enough tact and good sense
+to go away, though Sir Evelyn invited them to stay on. Jimmy was with
+him still, and was really helpful. Having the sort of temperament
+which is unaffected by the pomposities and vanities of elderly and
+successful men, he remained infectiously cheerful and often saved an
+awkward situation by making jokes so silly that everybody, except the
+actress, united to snub him and felt quite friendly with each other
+when they had succeeded. But even Jimmy added a little to his uncle's
+difficulties with the party. He took the ex-Prime Minister out for a
+drive in the restored Pallas Athene and frightened him so much that for
+a whole day afterwards he was querulous and captious, the result of a
+severe nervous shock.
+
+Thus it was that when the pageant was over, and two days later the last
+eminent guest had gone, Sir Evelyn was thoroughly tired, and glad to
+sit down quietly in his study. He felt a great yearning for silence and
+solitude. His surroundings promised him just what he wanted.
+
+The sun shone in pleasantly through a large south window and the glare,
+which is the great fault of shining summer suns, was reduced by the
+leaves of a virginia creeper which clustered on the wall round the
+casement. Outside, a breeze made a gentle rustling through the branches
+of a glowing copper beech. The long herbaceous border was ablaze with
+colour, the brilliant blue of anchusas, the mauves and pinks of tall
+foxgloves, the white of a ribbon of low pinks, the subdued blue of
+violas, and the rich reds of many sweet-williams. Sir Evelyn, looking
+out, enjoyed a sense of mild relief--mild because he was too tired to
+feel anything strongly, even the delight of sunshine and the colours of
+the flowers.
+
+Inside, the room was cool and staid. Gentle shadows, like the
+caresses of middle-aged lovers, hung over the bookshelves and the
+pictures on the wall. There stood, in orderly rows, all Sir Evelyn's
+favourite books; old memoirs bound in faded calf, tall folios rich
+in illustrations, rebound in purple leather and adorned with gilt
+impressions of the Dent coat of arms, portfolios of ancient charts,
+squat vellum-coloured accounts of early voyages. The pictures were
+those which Sir Evelyn chiefly delighted in, sea pieces, where
+old-fashioned ships lay in harbour with high-peaked bowsprits, tall
+poops and hanging sails; or plunged through crested seas while windy
+clouds raced across the sky.
+
+Sir Evelyn, stretched in a deep chair, looked round at the books and
+pictures with mild pleasure. His was the delightful ease which follows
+a time of weariness. And that weariness in his case had been the result
+of hard work well done, toil brought to a successful end. Ease without
+the congratulations of a satisfied conscience loses half its delight.
+Sir Evelyn's conscience was in alliance with his surroundings to give
+him the full joy of peace. His work was done, well done, praised by all
+men and need never be done again. Is any state achieved by man on earth
+more delightful than that?
+
+On the table beside his chair stood piles of press cuttings, four
+large piles. They had been taken from their green wrappers and neatly
+arranged by a careful servant. Sir Evelyn had not, while his guests
+remained with him, had time to read the accounts of the pageant; but
+when the judge, latest lingering of his guests, had gone, he looked
+forward to the pleasure of studying all the papers had to say about
+him. Never, even when he was Cabinet Minister, had his piles of
+cuttings been quite so high. But Sir Evelyn waited, like an epicure who
+hesitates before putting the delicious morsel into his mouth, hoping to
+double the pleasure by adding expectation to realisation.
+
+While he lingered, satisfied with stillness and silence, tenderly
+savouring the pleasure to come, his chance of ever enjoying it was
+snapped from him. A servant entered the room.
+
+"A gentleman has called who wishes to see you, sir."
+
+"I won't see anyone to-day," said Sir Evelyn.
+
+He had seen and talked to gentlemen of every sort and description every
+day and at all hours for a week. He had been photographed, interviewed,
+invited and pressed to do fifty troublesome things. He was determined
+to have no more gentlemen let loose at him.
+
+"He's a Mr. East, sir," said the servant, "and he says his business is
+most important."
+
+"Mr. East!"
+
+Sir Evelyn was dimly aware of having heard the name before, but
+couldn't remember when or where.
+
+"He asked me to mention that he is connected with the Board of Inland
+Revenue, sir."
+
+"What on earth can he want with me? The entertainment tax is paid. At
+least I think we paid the entertainment tax. Mr. Linker undertook to
+look after that."
+
+"The gentleman says his business is very urgent, sir."
+
+"I suppose I'd better see him, though it's a nuisance. Show him in
+here."
+
+Mr. East was shown in, a lean little man with a ragged brown beard.
+He introduced himself as a supervisor of Customs and Excise for
+the district. He was so nervous that his hands shook and his voice
+quavered.
+
+"If there's been any misunderstanding about the entertainment tax,"
+said Sir Evelyn, "I wish you'd see Mr. Linker about it. His shop is in
+High Street, and at this time of day you're sure to find him there."
+
+Mr. East, fidgeting uncomfortably, said that the entertainment tax had
+been paid and that no question about it had been raised or was likely
+to be raised by the Inland Revenue authorities, "but----" he stuttered,
+and then hesitated.
+
+The man's nervous fidgetiness exasperated Sir Evelyn, who could imagine
+no reason why he did not go straight to his business, whatever it was.
+Yet certain excuses might have been made for Mr. East. He was a minor
+officer in a branch of the Civil Service. Nurtured in the tradition of
+that great service he regarded the Parliamentary Heads of Departments
+as men who should be treated as the heathen, and some others, treat
+their gods, with reverential respect and humble worship; although--the
+example of the heathen and others may be cited again--their commands
+and expressed opinions may be and should be regarded as unimportant and
+generally foolish. Sir Evelyn was, or had been, such a god. Mr. East
+was an orthodox worshipper. It is natural for pious men to be nervous
+and fidgety in the presence of gods.
+
+And Mr. East was a man who had achieved a certain amount of what
+is called education by means of County Council scholarships and had
+successfully passed the examination which admitted him to the Civil
+Service. He was therefore inclined to dislike and despise those for
+whom the winning of scholarships in early life had not been necessary
+and who, in spite of their expensive education could not at any time
+have passed a Civil Service examination. By temperament, position and
+achievement he was one of those Englishmen who have a thorough contempt
+for our aristocracy, the class to which Sir Evelyn unquestionably
+belonged. No one is more nervous than your thoroughgoing democrat who
+is determined not to be uncomfortable in the company of men like Sir
+Evelyn.
+
+But there was yet another reason to account for the perspiration which
+was standing on Mr. East's forehead. Imagine a worshipper forced to
+accuse the god above his altar of a base fraud, or an independent
+member of the middle class who finds himself compelled to make a charge
+of a dishonourable kind against a man whose name, borne by a long list
+of ancestors, is written like an endorsement across page after page of
+English history.
+
+That was the unfortunate position of Mr. East.
+
+He had that morning received from London by registered post from the
+permanent head of his department, instructions to visit Sir Evelyn,
+to see him personally, to inform him that His Majesty's Department of
+Customs and Excise was fully aware that smuggling on a large scale had
+been carried on under cover of the Hailey Compton pageant.
+
+Mr. East had gasped when he read that letter. It gave details, so
+many gallons of French brandy and wine, a very large quantity. So many
+hundred yards of silk, the real product of the industry of the foreign
+worm. The fraud was as shameless as it was immense; and there was no
+doubt whatever about the facts. Mr. East, who knew his business and the
+ways of his department, understood exactly how this information had
+been received and how it came that the department was so sure of its
+facts. Notice is always sent by agents, whose business it is to watch
+such things, of any considerable shipment of contraband goods from a
+Continental port. The ship which carries them is known. The men to whom
+they are consigned in England are marked.
+
+All this Mr. East had to tell, and in the end did tell to Sir Evelyn.
+He was nervous and miserable, but he was a man possessed by that spirit
+which forces the best of us to do desperately unpleasant duties. He did
+his.
+
+Sir Evelyn's conscience was perfectly clear. He was annoyed that such
+an absurd and tiresome mistake should have been made; but he had
+not the slightest doubt that it was a mistake. He said so with the
+confidence of an accused man who knows that he is innocent.
+
+Mr. East, more nervous than ever, but still determined to do his duty,
+went on:
+
+"I'm instructed to say, sir, that the department is unwilling to allow
+the law to take its course in the case of a man----" Here he corrected
+himself and said "gentleman, in your position. If you will make a
+frank statement of the amount of contraband goods imported, and will at
+once pay the full duty applicable to such goods no further proceedings
+will be taken. You will understand, sir"--Mr. East nearly choked while
+saying this--"that this leniency is only extended to you in order to
+avoid what might well be a most disagreeable scandal."
+
+Here, it is regrettable to have to relate it, Sir Evelyn lost
+his temper. Being perfectly innocent of any attempt to defraud,
+or intention of making an attempt to defraud anyone, he was very
+naturally indignant. He suggested in tones of icy dignity that Mr.
+East should leave the room and communicate with him further--if further
+communication was necessary--through a firm of solicitors.
+
+"I am also instructed, sir," said Mr. East, "to say that no steps will
+be taken before to-morrow morning. The department, though unable to
+condone or overlook the fraud, is willing to give you time to consider
+their proposal and your position."
+
+This was more than Sir Evelyn could stand. He stood up and rang the
+bell.
+
+"I shall direct my servant," he said, "to show you out and not to admit
+you into my house again."
+
+Mr. East, by this time sweating at every pore and tingling with acute
+discomfort, bowed and turned towards the door.
+
+"I ought to add," he said as he went out, "that no attempt to remove
+the dutiable goods from the cave in which we believe them to be stored
+will be permitted. To-morrow at noon, unless you have complied with the
+terms of the department's proposal, our officers will enter the cave
+and seize the goods."
+
+"Your officers," said Sir Evelyn, goaded to extreme exasperation,
+"may search the cave as much as they damned well choose. They'll find
+nothing there."
+
+
+
+
+Chapter XVII
+
+
+The departure of the last guest from the Manor House was almost as
+great a relief to Lord Colavon as to Sir Evelyn. It was he who drove
+the judge and his suit case to the railway station in Morriton St.
+James. Having handed over the case to the porter and waved farewell to
+the judge he felt that duty had no further claim upon him. He swept the
+car round, picked his way through the narrow streets of the town and
+set out upon the road which led to Hailey Compton. There he indulged in
+a joyous burst of speed. The Pallas Athene, restored by the new parts
+sent from London, responded and showed herself to be the sort of car he
+hoped and supposed when he bought her.
+
+The twenty miles to the top of the cliff were covered in less than half
+an hour, and when Jimmy changed gear for the descent into the village
+he felt well satisfied. He had reason to be. The weather which had
+pleased Sir Evelyn, resting in his study, delighted Jimmy who had the
+sparkling sea in front of him. Beth was at the vicarage and he was on
+his way to see her. He had stored safely in the cave six dozen pairs
+of silk stockings. He looked forward to seeing the pleasure of the two
+girls when he made his present to them. There were also in the cave a
+number of cases of brandy, some hundreds of bottles of champagne and
+a quantity of other wine, the property of James Hinton. There were
+some large bales of silk which belonged to Mr. Linker. Jimmy was not
+concerned about these. He had helped to land them and helped to store
+them, without, as he believed, attracting any attention or giving rise
+to any questions or inquiries. The business had been carried through
+with the greatest ease and Jimmy's part of it was over. The removal and
+final disposal of the goods was the affair of the owners. All Jimmy had
+to do was to pick up his own parcel, tuck it under his arm and walk out
+of the cave with it.
+
+The car drew up at the vicarage door and Jimmy was greeted by the two
+girls with shouts of welcome.
+
+"We're just starting off to bathe," said Mary.
+
+"You'll come too, of course," said Beth. "If you haven't got a bathing
+dress you must borrow Uncle Timothy's. I've never known him bathe, but
+he's sure to have one somewhere."
+
+Mrs. Eames, laden with towels, appeared and greeted Jimmy.
+
+"This is just splendid," she said. "We'll all go and bathe together.
+Such a day! The first really hot day this summer. The pool at the mouth
+of the cave will be glorious. And then you'll come back and lunch with
+us. Now don't interrupt me, Beth." Beth was trying to speak. "I know
+there's nothing to eat, literally nothing. Two great hungry girls,
+Lord Colavon. You can't imagine what a lot of food they get through.
+But we'll send Gladys out to borrow what she can. Her aunt may have
+some bacon. Anyway we can get some bread and cheese. I'm sure you
+won't mind, Lord Colavon. Beth is trying to say that you will, but you
+won't."
+
+"I wasn't trying to say any such thing," said Beth. "I was trying to
+say that Jimmy hasn't got a bathing dress."
+
+"Would Timothy's fit you? He has one, I know, for I bought it for him
+last summer. But he's never worn it, not once. Such a pity. But you
+know the sort of man your poor, dear uncle is, Beth. He won't enjoy
+himself. So tiresome of him. I'm just as fond of him as I was the day
+I married him, but I do wish I could tempt him to do something really
+wrong. It would be so good for him. Not that bathing is wrong. It
+isn't. Though I sometimes think that Timothy thinks it is."
+
+After a long search in which both girls joined, the vicar's bathing
+dress was found, still wrapped in the paper in which it had left
+Linker's shop in Morriton St. James. The towel offered by Mrs.
+Eames was not so new. Indeed it was far from being clean. The vicar,
+apparently, had not thought it wrong to use it.
+
+"How tiresome," said Mrs. Eames, a few minutes later as they crossed
+the beach. "There's somebody there at the mouth of the cave. A man. I
+can't think what he's doing there. It doesn't matter really of course.
+Still, it would have been nicer if we'd had the place to ourselves."
+
+"He looks like a policeman," said Mary.
+
+"He can't be a policeman," said Mrs. Eames. "There aren't any in Hailey
+Compton. I never saw one here in my life except on the day of the
+pageant. There were a few then."
+
+"It is a policeman right enough," said Jimmy.
+
+They were near enough to be sure of the uniform. Mrs. Eames was
+surprised and annoyed.
+
+"Perhaps he'll go away," she said, "when he sees we're going to bathe.
+I'm not particularly modest and I don't mind any ordinary man watching
+me. But a policeman is different somehow. I'm sure you'd hate to have
+a policeman standing about while you undress, wouldn't you, Mary?"
+
+Beth evidently disliked the presence of the policeman quite as much
+as her aunt did, though not perhaps through feelings of modesty. She
+caught Jimmy's arm and looked anxiously into his face.
+
+"Let's wave towels and bathing dresses," said Mrs. Eames, "and if that
+doesn't make him understand that he's not wanted you'll have to ask him
+to go away, Lord Colavon."
+
+The demonstration with towels and bathing dresses had no effect
+whatever on the policeman. He stood there, stolid and unmoved, an
+Englishman at the post of duty, and in all the world there is nothing
+so immovable as that.
+
+Jimmy, pushed forward by Mrs. Eames, approached the man.
+
+"I wonder," he said, "if you'd mind moving away a little, a few yards
+along the beach in either direction. The ladies want to bathe in this
+pool and it's rather awkward if you stand just there. No place to
+undress, you know."
+
+"Very sorry, sir," said the policeman. "No one is allowed to enter the
+cave. Orders, sir."
+
+"Orders!" said Jimmy sharply. "Whose orders?"
+
+"Orders of the district superintendent at Morriton St. James, sir."
+
+Jimmy turned away and whistled softly. Mrs. Eames addressed a vigorous
+protest to the policeman. She said a great deal about the rights of
+free British citizens to enter caves if they chose. She argued about
+the unreasonableness of interfering with an innocent pleasure like
+bathing. She spoke, as she always did, volubly and with energy. The
+policeman remained entirely indifferent, merely repeating the word
+"Orders" from time to time when Mrs. Eames paused for breath.
+
+"Jimmy," said Beth, in an anxious whisper, "what's he doing here?"
+
+"It looks to me," said Jimmy, "very much as if somebody had tumbled
+to the fact that all the cargo we landed the other night wasn't stage
+property. If so, the fat's in the fire and no mistake."
+
+"But was there anything really smuggled?" said Beth.
+
+There is honour and a sense of comradeship among thieves. Jimmy would
+not give away the secrets of Hinton and Linker.
+
+"There was that little parcel of silk stockings," he said, "which I
+promised to get for you and Mary."
+
+"How perfectly sweet of you," said Mary. "I never thought you really
+meant to."
+
+"I'm beginning to wish I hadn't," said Jimmy. "That policeman----"
+
+"Do you mean to say he'll take the stockings?" said Mary. "How mean!"
+
+"I'm very much afraid he'll do more than that," said Jimmy.
+
+"Jimmy, dearest," said Beth, "do you think he'll put you in prison?"
+
+Mrs. Eames, finding that neither protests nor arguments affected the
+policeman, ended her harangue with a threat.
+
+"Perhaps you're not aware," she said, "that my husband is the vicar of
+the parish, the Reverend Timothy Eames. I shall go straight to him now
+and tell him of your outrageous behaviour. He'll know how to deal with
+you."
+
+She cannot have believed that; but she spoke with dignity and firmness,
+as if her husband was a masterful archdeacon and the policeman a
+naughty choirboy. Perhaps the policeman knew the Reverend Timothy
+Eames, perhaps he was a believer in the majesty of the law and held
+that the temporal power is greater than the might of the Church. He was
+quite unmoved by the threat, and when Mrs. Eames turned her back upon
+him and walked stiffly away he showed no sign of fear.
+
+Mrs. Eames, very angry indeed, stalked back across the beach. Jimmy
+and the girls followed her, Mary puzzled, Beth anxious, Jimmy thinking
+deeply.
+
+"You'd better go to the vicarage with your aunt," he said. "I must trot
+off and see James Hinton."
+
+"But can't I help you?" said Beth. "I'm rather frightened. I do wish
+you hadn't done it, Jimmy."
+
+Jimmy refrained from saying he was not the only person who had done
+it and that things would have been just as bad if there were no silk
+stockings in the cave for her and Mary.
+
+A fresh surprise, exceedingly alarming and unpleasant, waited for
+him at the Anchor Inn. On the bench outside were two policemen. They
+were seated very much at their ease in the pleasant sunshine, and
+both of them were smoking. It was plain that they were not on duty
+at the moment. Jimmy's first thought was that Hinton had been already
+arrested, but the attitude of the policemen reassured him. It is not
+lolling with a pipe in his mouth that the British constable guards an
+important prisoner.
+
+Jimmy passed into the inn and found Hinton in the room behind the
+bar packing a suit-case. He looked white and haggard and was badly
+frightened. But even with the fear of the vengeance of the law hanging
+over him his excellent manners did not fail.
+
+"Good morning, my lord. Is there anything I can do for your lordship?
+I fear the house is rather upset, but--a glass of beer, perhaps? I
+am thinking of going away for a few days, just packing up, as you
+see, my lord. But if there's anything I can do to make your lordship
+comfortable before I go---- It has always been my wish, my lord, to
+make any gentleman who employs me as comfortable as possible--or his
+friends, my lord."
+
+The man, apparently, scarcely knew what he was saying. He was
+frightened out of his senses and was possessed by a desire to get away
+as quickly as possible.
+
+"You're not arrested, are you, Hinton?"
+
+"Me, my lord! Certainly not. I've always borne a most excellent
+character. No one has ever had occasion to say anything against me.
+I'm--I'm going away for a few days, my lord. A little holiday."
+
+"There's a policeman at the mouth of the cave, Hinton, and there are
+two more outside your door at this moment. What are they doing?"
+
+"I don't know, my lord. I prefer not to inquire; but----" Here Hinton's
+nerves failed him completely, and he broke down. Even his precise
+English failed him, and he forgot to say "my lord" at the end of every
+sentence. "Mr. Linker, he 'phoned through this morning," he whimpered.
+"He said as how that cave was to be guarded night and day so that
+nobody could go in or out nor nothing be taken in or out till to-morrow
+and then the blasted Customs officers is to come and see what's there.
+They can't arrest me till then. There isn't nothing for them to go on,
+till they can lay their hands on the goods. That's why I'm off. And
+Mr. Linker, he's off too. And if you take my advice you'll do a bolt
+before they nab you. France I'm going to, or maybe Spain. Linker, he's
+thinking of Russia; says as how the Russian Government won't give him
+up. But I don't know. I never did trust them Bolshies myself."
+
+It was plain that there was neither counsel of a sensible kind nor any
+help to be got from James Hinton. The man was the victim of an ague of
+terror, and could not be trusted to do the simplest thing. Jimmy left
+the inn, speaking a word of cheerful greeting to the policemen as he
+passed.
+
+An hour later James Hinton placed his suit-case in the Ford car which
+had once towed the Pallas Athene into Morriton St. James. He cranked
+up his engine and went clattering up the village street. The policemen
+watched him go. Then one of them took possession of the telephone in
+the inn and rang up the constabulary office in Morriton St. James. No
+one had authority or power to stop Hinton, but the police felt that
+it might be convenient to know where he went, in case they wanted to
+arrest him later on. The progress of the car was reported until it was
+placed in a garage in Southampton. Hinton's further movements and his
+embarking on board the steamer for St. Malo were also reported. After
+that, he was left to the French police to see where he went and what he
+did.
+
+Mr. Linker, making a break for freedom in another direction, reached
+Amsterdam and was there marked down by the police. Whether he would
+ever have got to Russia, or what would have happened to him there if
+he had, we do not know. It turned out to be unnecessary for him to go
+beyond Amsterdam. Hinton got no further than an hotel in Paramé.
+
+Jimmy went back to the vicarage. He found Beth and Mary anxious and
+troubled. Mrs. Eames had gone up to the church, where she expected
+to find her husband. She intended, so Beth said, to induce that
+unfortunate man to go down to the cave and drive away the policeman, by
+force if necessary.
+
+"Beth," said Jimmy, "we're in a middling tight place, all of us,
+especially me. I've told you that I smuggled over a few stockings for
+you and Mary."
+
+"Surely there won't be a row over a couple of pairs of silk stockings,"
+said Mary. "Nobody could be fool enough to make a fuss about that, not
+a real fuss."
+
+"As a matter of fact there are six dozen pairs," said Jimmy. "But----"
+
+"How gorgeous!" said Mary. "Three dozen each. Jimmy, we must get
+them somehow. Suppose I go and make myself perfectly sweet to that
+policeman. He might be beguiled into letting me----"
+
+"Do shut up, Mary," said Beth anxiously. "This is serious. Go on,
+Jimmy. What were you going to say?"
+
+"If it was only the stockings I've smuggled," said Jimmy, "there
+wouldn't be much said about it, but the damned lugger was half full of
+brandy and wine for Hinton and bales of silk for that sneaking ruffian
+Linker."
+
+"Will they be arrested?" said Beth. "Don't say they'll be hanged. They
+don't hang people for smuggling nowadays, do they?"
+
+"They won't be arrested or hanged if I can help it," said Jimmy. "Not
+that I'd care if they were. I'd be glad. Those two sneaking cowards
+have bolted, leaving the rest of us to take what's coming, and it'll be
+mighty unpleasant, unless----"
+
+"Will they put you in prison, Jimmy?" said Mary.
+
+"They may. I don't know, and I don't much care. It won't be for very
+long, anyhow. What I mind is the infernal mess Uncle Evie will be in,
+and your aunt, and the bishop, a thoroughly decent old boy that bishop,
+and all the rest of them. They'll never be able to hold up their heads
+again. What I mean to say is, it doesn't matter about a fellow like me.
+But how can Uncle Evie go on being a leading statesman and all that?
+How can the bishop go on preaching the way bishops do? How can your
+aunt go on being a vicar's wife, if once it comes out that they've all
+been deliberately defrauding the revenue on a large scale?"
+
+"Do you mean to say that Aunt Agatha will have to give up being married
+to Uncle Timothy?" said Beth. "She never will, whatever they say or do
+to her."
+
+"She'll have to," said Jimmy. "Either that or he'll have to resign the
+parish, unless we can pull them out of the mess they're in."
+
+"Then let's do it," said Beth. "I'm on for anything to save Aunt Agatha
+and your old pet of an uncle whom I love. And the bishop. I've always
+liked bishops, and this one seemed particularly nice. You'll help too,
+Mary, won't you?"
+
+"Of course I will. I may not be as keen on bishops as you are, Beth,
+but there are very few things I wouldn't do for the sake of three dozen
+pairs of silk stockings."
+
+"The first question," said Jimmy, "is, can we persuade your uncle to
+chip in and stand by us?"
+
+"He'd do anything for Aunt Agatha," said Beth. "He's just as fond of
+her as she is of him."
+
+"I wonder would he do the sort of thing that some people might call
+wrong?"
+
+"Of course he would," said Mary. "Anybody would. All really nice and
+exciting things are wrong, but everybody does them."
+
+Beth was doubtful.
+
+"Uncle Timothy," she said, "isn't like you, Mary, or like most other
+people. He has a conscience, rather a queer kind of conscience, quite
+different from Aunt Agatha's, though hers is pretty silly too. The way
+it takes her is, making her do things, for the parish and all that;
+whereas it works the other way round with Uncle Timothy, and won't let
+him do anything hardly. Queer things consciences are, aren't they?"
+
+"Glad I haven't got one," said Mary.
+
+"Well," said Jimmy, "we'll try him. But I tell you plainly that if he
+won't, we're in an ugly place. Whether he helps or not, we're in an
+ugly place; but it'll be much uglier if he won't stand in with us. I'm
+not going to ask him to do much; but I must be able to count on his not
+giving us away. I think I'd better go up to the church and tackle him."
+
+
+
+
+Chapter XVIII
+
+
+While he was speaking Mrs. Eames came up the drive holding the vicar's
+hand. She was trying to walk much more quickly than he wanted to,
+and it looked as if she was dragging him after her, a prisoner, but
+apparently not an unwilling one, for his face expressed a kind of
+puzzled delight.
+
+"Beth," she shouted, "you naughty girl! And you're just as bad, Lord
+Colavon. Fancy your knowing all about it for days and days and never
+saying a word to me, either of you."
+
+"I've just been showing her our little discovery," said the vicar in a
+tone of mild apology. "You remember, Beth, the passage from the church
+to the cave."
+
+"Aunt Agatha," said Beth, "I want to tell you----"
+
+"You were a wicked girl not to tell me before," said Mrs. Eames. "It's
+the most exciting thing that's ever happened in Hailey Compton. We'll
+get down the Royal Society of Antiquaries--I suppose there is a Royal
+Society of Antiquaries. If there isn't we'll get down the whole British
+Association, all sorts of learned men from everywhere. You remember the
+fuss that there was over that skull they dug up somewhere a few years
+ago. That will be nothing to what this will be. Hailey Compton will be
+famous all over the world. I always said you ought to do something for
+the parish, Timothy, and you have at last."
+
+"I'm so glad you're pleased," said the vicar with a wavering little
+smile.
+
+"Aunt Agatha----" said Beth again.
+
+"Don't interrupt your uncle, Beth, when he's just going to tell us all
+about his discovery."
+
+"Mrs. Eames," said Lord Colavon, "I really must speak to the vicar for
+a minute. It's about a serious business and dashed unpleasant."
+
+Even Mrs. Eames was silenced for a moment by the gravity of his tone.
+When he began to tell the story of the smuggling she grew excited and
+indignant.
+
+"So that's what James Hinton had in his mind all the time," she
+said, "and he was only pretending to be interested in the pageant.
+Guaranteeing fifty pounds! And all the time I thought---- He has----"
+here she stamped her foot, "he has had the insolence to make a fool
+of me, he and that nasty Linker, a man I always hated, though I did
+deal at his shop. But I never will again, or with Hinton. I'll get any
+beer I want somewhere else, or I'll do without beer altogether. Lord
+Colavon, do you mind not having any beer for luncheon to-day? Timothy,
+you must promise me never to have Hinton for your churchwarden again."
+
+"The worst of it is," said Jimmy, "that the Inland Revenue people have
+found out."
+
+"I'm glad to hear it," said Mrs. Eames.
+
+"And now," said Jimmy, "I'm very much afraid that there may be arrests."
+
+"The policeman at the mouth of the cave!" said Mrs. Eames. "So that's
+why he was there. I don't care. I'm glad. Let him arrest James Hinton
+as soon as he likes. I'd like to see him in prison. After the way he
+made fools of us all he deserves it."
+
+"Hinton has run away," said Beth, "and the policeman will arrest you."
+
+"That's ridiculous," said Mrs. Eames. "He can't arrest me. I haven't
+smuggled. They can't touch me, can they, Lord Colavon?"
+
+"I don't think they can arrest you," said Jimmy, "but they may arrest
+me. And anyhow, there are other things to consider besides arrests.
+There's your reputation, Mrs. Eames, and Uncle Evie's, and the
+bishop's, and--well, all the people who've been down here, patrons of
+the pageant and so forth. When this scandal comes out----"
+
+Even Mrs. Eames, though conscious of complete innocence, saw that a
+scandal would be most unpleasant for everyone, and very damaging for
+men like Sir Evelyn and the bishop.
+
+"But Jimmy has a plan," said Beth. "If only Uncle Timothy will agree to
+it. Jimmy, what is your plan?"
+
+Jimmy explained a simple but promising scheme. The examination of the
+cave and the seizure of the smuggled goods would not take place until
+the next day. If, in the meanwhile, all the brandy, wine and silk could
+be removed from the cave the Customs officers would find no smuggled
+goods. There would therefore be no evidence that contraband goods had
+been landed or that any smuggling had actually been done. Whatever
+suspicions might be entertained there would be no sort of proof.
+
+"But we can't get the things out of the cave with a policeman on
+guard," said Beth. "Unless---- Oh, Jimmy, the hole from the church into
+the cave! Could we?"
+
+"We can," said Jimmy, "if the vicar will let us."
+
+"I won't have poor darling Timothy mixed up in it," said Mrs. Eames.
+"He's never done anything wrong in his life."
+
+"I don't think this is very wrong," said Beth.
+
+"It's helping a fraud," said Mrs. Eames, "and that is wrong. What is it
+called? Accessory after the fact or something. Anyhow it's wrong and
+Timothy mustn't do it. They can arrest me if they like and put me in
+prison, but I won't have Timothy dragged into it."
+
+She put her arm round his neck and stood beside him, her free hand
+tightly clenched, the fire of defiance in her eyes.
+
+"What do you say yourself, sir?" said Jimmy.
+
+The vicar said nothing for a while. He may have been trying to make
+up his mind what he ought to say, or it may have been simply that his
+wife's clasp on his neck was so tight as to make speech impossible.
+
+Jimmy, _advocatus diaboli_ in the matter, put the case for wrong-doing
+as strongly as he could. The reputations of many eminent men were
+threatened by a scandal from the defilement of which none of them would
+ever be able to get wholly clear. The good name of the Church was in
+peril. The prospects of a great party in the State were in jeopardy.
+Every man, institution or party has enemies. The enemies of religion,
+atheists and mockers, would fasten on the bishop and through him would
+injure the Church and Christianity itself. The enemies of the State,
+socialists and communists, would swarm round Sir Evelyn and work
+incalculable mischief. The scandal would give them the opportunity they
+wanted. He pleaded earnestly. Beth backed his appeal; but Mrs. Eames's
+eyes still flashed righteous indignation and her fist was still tightly
+clenched.
+
+"Agatha, dear, do let me speak," said the vicar in a hoarse whisper.
+
+Mrs. Eames slightly relaxed her hold on his neck.
+
+"You've often said," the vicar began addressing his wife, "You've often
+said that I would be a better man if----"
+
+"You couldn't be better, Timothy darling. I've always said that."
+
+"----that I would be a better man if only I would do something wrong."
+
+"Timothy, dearest one, I never said that."
+
+"You did, Aunt Agatha," said Beth. "I've heard you often."
+
+"I rather think I have, too," said Jimmy, "once or twice."
+
+"I should like to be a better man," said the vicar. "I've always wished
+to be that."
+
+"And you will be," said Jimmy. "If you help us in this you'll be---- By
+Jove! you'll be the best man I've ever met."
+
+"And it isn't very wrong," said Beth.
+
+"It isn't wrong at all," said Mary eagerly. "When anyone is wicked
+enough to make a law against silk stockings it isn't wrong to break it,
+it's right."
+
+"The wronger it is the better man the vicar will be afterwards," said
+Jimmy. "That's what Mrs. Eames says, and she knows."
+
+"If I ever said any such thing----" said Mrs. Eames.
+
+"You have," said the vicar. "My dear Agatha, you often have."
+
+"I may have," said Mrs. Eames unwillingly. "But if I did, I certainly
+never meant the sort of wrong thing you could be put in prison for."
+
+"But he won't be," said Jimmy, "or if he is, we'll all be there with
+him."
+
+"I've always known you were quite right, Agatha, dear," said the vicar
+plaintively, "and that I ought to do something wrong. My difficulty was
+to find out something that I could do. I really didn't want to restore
+a church or write a book about heretics, and nothing else seemed to
+offer itself. But now---- Lord Colavon, I'm greatly obliged to you, and
+I regard this as just the opportunity I wanted. Agatha dearest, don't
+say anything more."
+
+But that was asking too much of Mrs. Eames. She did say a great deal
+more, though nothing to dissuade the vicar from his determination to
+pursue the crown of sainthood through the ways of wrong-doing. Having
+withdrawn her opposition to Jimmy's plan she flung herself eagerly
+into a discussion of the best ways of carrying it out. There were a
+great many details to be arranged. Young Bunce's tackle, for instance,
+which was still in the church, was plainly insufficient for the work
+of hoisting things out of the cave. The rope was not long enough. As
+the police were blocking the ordinary entrance to the cave someone
+would have to be let down to the cave and afterwards hoisted up. Jimmy
+volunteered for the work but objected to trusting his life to young
+Bunce's frayed rope. He proposed to buy a new outfit of ropes and
+blocks, some materials for the erection of a derrick in the church
+and perhaps a windlass. It was regarded as undesirable to make such
+purchases in Morriton St. James, where the suspicions of the police
+might easily be aroused. Here the Pallas Athene proved its value. With
+such a car it would be possible to rush off to Southampton, thence to
+Portsmouth, afterwards, if necessary, to Plymouth, places in which such
+gear might be purchased, a rope here and a block there, without giving
+rise to inquiries.
+
+There was the question, a much more difficult one, of the disposal of
+the smuggled goods after they had been lodged in the church.
+
+"They can be piled up in the old pew in the chancel," said Mrs. Eames,
+"and the curtains drawn. No one ever goes there."
+
+"But they can't always stay there," said the vicar. "I shouldn't like
+the feeling that the church was full of brandy."
+
+"I don't see how we could possibly take all that stuff away," said
+Beth, "or where we could put it if we did."
+
+Here Mary made a suggestion, though not a very helpful one.
+
+"I'll carry my stockings away with me," she said, "and I'll take yours,
+too, if you like, Beth."
+
+"Couldn't we leave it to Hinton and Linker to take away their own
+things?" said Beth.
+
+"Certainly not," said Mrs. Eames vindictively. "It was Hinton and
+Linker who got us into this trouble, and I'll never agree to their
+being rewarded for it."
+
+"Besides," said Jimmy, "they've both run away and we can't get at them."
+
+It was, oddly enough, the vicar who hit on the solution of the
+difficulty.
+
+"This is only Tuesday," he said. "As long as the things are taken out
+of the church before Sunday it will be all right. Suppose we lower
+them all down into the cave again on Friday or Saturday. The Customs
+officers will have given up searching by that time."
+
+"Splendid!" said Beth. "No one ever goes into the cave except you, Aunt
+Agatha. I should think the brandy and other things might stay there for
+ever without anybody knowing."
+
+"It does seem a pity about the silk," said Mary. "Such waste."
+
+"And I did hope----" said Mrs. Eames, with a deep sigh.
+
+Everyone understood and sympathised with her. She was called upon to
+renounce her ambition, to surrender a great hope at the very moment
+of fruition. The cave had been advertised by the pageant, would be
+re-advertised by the vicar's discovery. Crowds of people would come
+to see it. Antiquaries would explore its depths. Picnic parties would
+shout hilariously to its echoing walls. Just one effort, scarcely an
+effort, merely the allowing of things to take their course and all this
+would be realised. Hailey Compton would be famous. Wealth would pour in
+upon its inhabitants. A great and glorious work for the village would
+be accomplished. But all this, so it seemed, must be given up. The
+cave must lapse into a solitude again and the village remain as poor
+and primitive as it had ever been. It was a bitter disappointment to
+Mrs. Eames; but she bore it bravely, sustained by the thought that her
+beloved Timothy was at last doing something, though something in itself
+undesirable.
+
+For the rest of that morning and all the afternoon the Pallas Athene
+raced at incredible speeds, east and west on the great main roads of
+the south of England. Jimmy, at the steering-wheel, broke record after
+record and rejoiced. Beth, beside him, glowed with a satisfaction not
+unlike her aunt's. Like the Reverend Timothy Eames, Jimmy, her lover,
+was proving himself a worthy man, actually doing something of real
+usefulness. He was breaking laws with reckless daring all day long
+in order to be able to break other laws all night. But--Beth thrilled
+with the thought, he was saving the honour of men and women, the good
+name of the church, the constitution of the State, the majesty of the
+Empire.
+
+At ten o'clock that night, Jimmy, seated in the loop of a carefully
+tied knot, was lowered slowly, turning giddily round, from the squire's
+pew in Hailey Compton church into the profound darkness of the cave
+below. Clinging tightly to the rope, paying it out inch by inch were
+Mrs. Eames, Mary Lambert, Beth Appleby and the vicar. Their muscles
+were tense, their faces set with anxious determination. A distant sound
+of rolling stones and a sharp twitching of the rope told them that the
+ordeal was safely over. The rope was hauled up again and Beth, with
+white face and clenched teeth, took her seat in the loop. She grasped
+the rope above her firmly. The descent began. She bumped against the
+sides of the hole and was bruised. She grew giddy as the rope swung
+round and round. But her courage held. She was received at last in
+Jimmy's arms.
+
+Then began for the whole party a night of desperate toil. Jimmy and
+Beth, sweating and half smothered in the close air of the cave, dragged
+the bales and cases to the gaping hole. Their fingers bled where the
+skin was rubbed off them. Their nails were broken. Their muscles were
+strained to utter weariness. Far above them, the vicar, Mrs. Eames
+and Mary hauled at the rope. The slowly raised weights seemed to
+grow heavier and heavier. They moved uneasily in a space which became
+gradually narrowed and less sufficient as bales and cases were piled
+up in the square pew. How fortunate that the eighteenth century lord
+of the manor, who designed and built the pew, should have liked ample
+space for his devotions! He planned largely, a room rather than a pew,
+intending perhaps to use the place not only for worship but for just
+such purposes as it was used for that night.
+
+All night long--such are the curious inequalities of the human lot--a
+policeman stood at the mouth of the cave. While others toiled, he
+wearied of utter idleness. While others gasped for air, the sea breeze
+blew round him. While others sweated, he stamped his feet and swung
+his arms to keep himself warm. In the new society of which we dream,
+for which we strive, things must be better ordered. No longer must
+our souls be vexed by the contrast between excessive toil and listless
+idleness.
+
+Yet--and here again we have an instance of the oddness of human
+affairs--the leisured policeman, yawning and stretching himself, missed
+something which came to the perspiring toilers in the cave--a thrill,
+a joy, a rapture which more than compensated for bleeding knuckles,
+broken nails and aching limbs.
+
+The last case was secured in its sling and ascended slowly into the
+darkness. The work of the night was finished. In a few minutes Beth
+would be following the case, seated in the loop, clinging to the rope.
+Then Jimmy would follow her, and after that---- He hoped that Mrs.
+Eames had some beer in the vicarage. He believed she had. He thought
+she must have. No woman would be so foolish as to forget to have beer
+ready at the end of such a night. Beer! Not since the day when Sir
+Evelyn first drove down the hill into Hailey Compton had any man wanted
+beer so much as Jimmy wanted it then.
+
+But Beth, it seemed, was not thinking of beer, or even of tea, which
+for some women takes the place of beer.
+
+"Jimmy," she said softly, "do you remember the last time we were here?"
+
+"Of course I do. A smuggler's ghost threw stones at us."
+
+"And I said----"
+
+Beth paused for a while. Then the darkness, a wonderful solvent of
+maiden modesty, helped her to go on again.
+
+"I think I said---- I mean, after you said---- You remember what you
+said----"
+
+"I said what I've been saying for the last two years," said Jimmy. "And
+what you said was 'No.'"
+
+"But I told you why," said Beth.
+
+"You've always been telling me why."
+
+"Jimmy," she burst out, "are you going to make me propose to you?
+Don't you see, you silly old dear, that that isn't a why any longer?
+You've been perfectly splendid to-night. You've thought of things and
+done things--and---- Oh, Jimmy, only for you where would everybody be
+to-morrow when the horrid Customs officers come to search the cave?"
+
+Then, though very thirsty, Jimmy forgot about the beer. Ben Jonson, a
+dramatist and a poet who knew something about human nature and could
+express himself very prettily, says that kisses are to be preferred
+sometimes "even to Jove's nectar." Jimmy, tired, sore and grimy, in
+a stuffy cave, at the horrible hour of 4 a.m., found them more to be
+desired than much beer.
+
+
+
+
+Chapter XIX
+
+
+A good conscience is a priceless possession. Sir Evelyn had not broken
+the laws of his country by bringing into it forbidden things. With
+all his admiration for the smugglers of the eighteenth century, whose
+lives he studied, it would have been impossible for him to imitate
+them. Nor would he willingly have associated with a man who smuggled
+anything more than a box of cigars after a trip to the Channel Islands.
+The accusation of the egregious Mr. East left Sir Evelyn untroubled.
+Some incredibly absurd mistake had been made for which in due time
+an apology would be forthcoming. It was impossible that a pageant, in
+itself a highly commendable thing--a pageant under the patronage of a
+bishop, of a judge, of a man who had been Prime Minister, of Sir Evelyn
+Dent--should have been in reality a smuggling raid. Was he to suspect
+Mrs. Eames, a transparently honest though too talkative lady, of being
+a smuggler? And she had managed the whole affair from the beginning.
+Could he think that James Hinton, the very type of superior upper
+servant, that Linker, a most respectable shopkeeper with a taste for
+politics, had deliberately planned a disgraceful fraud? The idea was
+preposterous. And had not his own nephew, Lord Colavon, to whom the
+petty gains of illicit trading could be no temptation--had he not been
+in command of--had he not actually steered the lugger?
+
+Someone in a Government office in London had blundered badly, and the
+ridiculous, tremulous Mr. East with his ultimatum and his threats could
+be forgotten as quickly as possible.
+
+Nevertheless, Sir Evelyn could not quite forget Mr. East, and after a
+while he rose and rang the bell.
+
+"If Lord Colavon is anywhere about the place," he said, "ask him to be
+so good as to come and speak to me here for a few minutes."
+
+A servant searched for Lord Colavon in the house. A gardener sought him
+in the grounds. A man who cleaned the boots and carried coal reported
+that the Pallas Athene was not in the garage. It was surmised that Lord
+Colavon had not yet returned from the railway station to which he had
+conveyed the judge.
+
+"Very well," said Sir Evelyn, "as soon as he does return ask him to
+come here."
+
+The morning passed, not unpleasantly for Sir Evelyn, who found much to
+interest him in the press-cuttings. Luncheon-time came and he ate it
+alone. Lord Colavon had not yet returned and the Pallas Athene was not
+yet in the garage. The servant, surmising again, suggested that his
+lordship might have gone to Hailey Compton to visit the young ladies.
+Sir Evelyn thought this very likely, and ate his luncheon peacefully.
+Tea-time came, and after that dinner, but Lord Colavon did not appear.
+Sir Evelyn was slightly annoyed but not much surprised. His nephew was
+a young man of irregular habits.
+
+The servant, bringing whisky and a siphon into the study at half-past
+nine, ventured on a further guess.
+
+"His lordship's car may have broken down somewhere."
+
+This, too, seemed probable.
+
+"Very unreliable, these high-powered cars," said the servant. "So I've
+always been led to believe."
+
+"Don't sit up for him," said Sir Evelyn. "He's not likely to return
+to-night. I shall go to bed as usual."
+
+He did, at the sober hour of eleven o'clock. He was by that time
+seriously annoyed and a little uneasy--not because he feared that any
+harm had come to his nephew. Whatever might have happened to the car,
+Jimmy himself was sure to be safe. Accidents do not happen to that
+kind of young man, though they ought to. Yet, Sir Evelyn reflected, it
+would have been satisfactory to have heard him deny---- No. It would be
+ridiculous to expect a formal denial of Mr. East's accusation. It would
+have been satisfactory to have laughed over the matter with his nephew.
+To make jokes about it and hear jokes made before going to bed. Yet, in
+spite of annoyance, Sir Evelyn slept quietly that night.
+
+Next morning at eight o'clock he was called and his letters laid beside
+him. Sir Evelyn glanced at them as he poured out his tea. There was
+a thick bundle of press-cuttings, more comments on the pageant. There
+were several circulars. There were one or two bills. There was just one
+envelope which looked as if it contained a letter. It came from a very
+important political personage, one of those gentlemen whose names do
+not appear prominently in the newspapers, who seldom make speeches on
+full-dress occasions, but are powerful in the councils of parties and
+have a great deal to do with the administration of funds.
+
+Sir Evelyn opened the envelope with a vague feeling of uneasiness.
+The premonition was justified at once. The letter was startling and
+disquieting.
+
+     You've no doubt heard the gossip which has been flying round
+     the clubs for the last two days. I heard it yesterday and
+     regarded it as nothing but an unusually wild canard. This
+     morning I was forced to change my opinion. The Inland Revenue
+     people have, or believe they have, information which points
+     to the fact that smuggling on a large scale was successfully
+     carried out at that pageant of yours. By the way, I
+     congratulate you on the success of the affair. I couldn't
+     manage to get down to it, but I hear it was brilliant. I
+     need not say that I do not for a moment suspect you of trying
+     to defraud the revenue. The suggestion is absurd. But could
+     anything of the sort have been going on without your knowing
+     it? That seems difficult to believe; but the Inland Revenue
+     people are very confident. They say--I have this in strict
+     confidence--that they know where the smuggled goods are
+     hidden and can put their hands on them whenever they like. I
+     need scarcely remind you that the consequences of an exposé
+     of this kind would be serious. No sane person would believe
+     that you and the Chief had combined together to smuggle
+     brandy into the country. But you know the sort of mud that
+     is slung at Election times--we may be in for one any day
+     now--and how much of it sticks no matter how carefully we
+     wash each other's faces. If you can give a perfectly clear
+     and unqualified denial to the rumour, or accusation, for it
+     comes to that, please telegraph to me and I'll see that it
+     gets proper publicity. It won't be the first time that these
+     permanent officials have turned out to be too clever. But if
+     by any chance they can prove their case--not against you, but
+     against anyone connected with your pageant--that is to say,
+     if they can put their hands on a case of brandy or a dozen of
+     champagne, then for heaven's sake pacify them in some way.
+     They're going to give you the chance, I understand. Pay up.
+     Apologise. Do anything you can; but do not let us have any
+     publicity. I need scarcely say that I shall pull every string
+     I can to keep the matter out of the courts, and I'll threaten
+     any of the papers that have been hinting at it, but I must
+     know definitely how things stand.
+
+Sir Evelyn, without waiting to drink his cup of tea, rose and rang the
+bell.
+
+"Is Lord Colavon in the house?"
+
+"His lordship," said the servant, "is at present in bed. I
+understand that he returned about six o'clock this morning. The under
+housemaid who was sweeping the hall at the time informed me that his
+lordship----"
+
+"Send him to me at once," said Sir Evelyn.
+
+"Very good, sir."
+
+But he did not do so. He returned five minutes later to say that he
+found it quite impossible to waken Lord Colavon.
+
+"I used every endeavour, sir, but his lordship is in a very sound
+sleep."
+
+"Use more endeavours," said Sir Evelyn. "Pour cold water over him if
+necessary, but bring him here."
+
+This time the man was successful. Jimmy, yawning and dishevelled,
+walked into his uncle's room in his pyjamas.
+
+"Read that," said Sir Evelyn, handing him the letter.
+
+Jimmy, rubbing his eyes occasionally, read it through.
+
+"Now," said Sir Evelyn, "tell me plainly, is there anything in it?"
+
+"If you mean the cave, Uncle Evie, there isn't. Not a blessed thing
+except stones. They've had three policemen watching the entrance, turn
+about, since yesterday, but there isn't a thing in it except stones."
+
+"Are you perfectly certain about that?"
+
+"Dead sure thing," said Jimmy. "They can search till they're blue
+in the face. I'm told that they're going to search to-day. But they
+won't find anything. If I were you, Uncle Evie--of course, it's not my
+business to offer advice to you or any other big pot like the johnny
+who wrote this letter. But, if I were in your shoes or his, I'd tell
+the Customs people to search and be damned. In fact I rather thought of
+doing that exact thing myself, meeting them at Hailey Compton when they
+turn up and then gloating afterwards. I dare say it would be beneath
+your dignity to gloat, except in private. But if you care to run down
+with me this morning and watch this blessed search of theirs, I can
+promise that you'll be in a position to rub it in afterwards."
+
+"I won't do that," said Sir Evelyn. "But----"
+
+"I hardly thought you would. That sort of thing wouldn't suit your
+style."
+
+"But I'll wire a definite denial of the whole story to London," said
+Sir Evelyn, "if you give me your assurance that I can do so."
+
+"Pitch it as strong as you like. Pithy and straight from the shoulder.
+Not too long. It only looks as if you'd something to conceal if you go
+spreading yourself over five bob's worth of telegram. My idea would be
+'Damned lies,' or words to that effect."
+
+"I hope you really are perfectly certain, Jimmy," said Sir Evelyn.
+"This is a serious business. If it turns out afterwards that you're
+mistaken--if they find so much as one case of brandy----"
+
+"They won't," said Jimmy. "I'll make over the Pallas Athene to an idiot
+asylum for the use of the inmates if they find anything worse than a
+half smoked cigarette in that cave."
+
+"You'd know--you'd be certain to know if----"
+
+"I steered the old lugger myself," said Jimmy, "and I know all there is
+to know about what happened."
+
+
+
+
+Chapter XX
+
+
+From a very early hour in the morning a sense of impending disaster
+hung over the village of Hailey Compton. The older Bunce stood at
+his cottage door with a sulky scowl on his face. The members of the
+lugger's crew, morose and anxious men, sought comfort at the Anchor
+Inn. They found the two policemen who were not on duty at the cave,
+and went away again uncomforted. The younger Bunce, Tommy Whittle,
+and others who had taken part in landing the cargo, wandered about
+disconsolate and miserable. No one knew what was going to happen.
+James Hinton, from whom it was natural to seek advice, had disappeared
+and no one knew where he had gone. There was some talk, low growling
+talk, about sending a deputation to the vicarage to ask Mrs. Eames
+for advice, or information, or anything else she might be inclined to
+give. No one believed that Mrs. Eames's advice would be any use, or her
+information the least reliable; but it would have been a comfort even
+to hear her talk.
+
+At ten o'clock Gladys hurried down from the vicarage to visit her
+aunt. She reported excitedly that Mrs. Eames was still in bed and fast
+asleep, that the two young ladies were in bed so sound asleep that no
+noise wakened them. The village felt that its last prop and stay had
+been removed and settled down into gloomy silence.
+
+Shortly before twelve o'clock the Pallas Athene, hooting constantly,
+came down the hill, and the sight of Jimmy's face, smiling and
+confident, brought a momentary cheerfulness to the village. But behind
+the Pallas Athene, close behind it, came another car, and in it, very
+soon discernible by the anxious eyes of the watchers, were men in
+uniform, that neat, half naval uniform of customs officers. The gloom
+of undefined dread settled down on everyone again. Old Bunce growled
+sulky curses. Younger men muttered threats, which they knew they dare
+not fulfil. Only Jimmy offered the officers any kind of welcome, but
+his manner made amends for the sullen hostility of everyone else.
+He was gay and jocular. He handed round his cigar case. He suggested
+draughts of beer to be drawn at his expense. He offered to act as guide
+to the cave. He accompanied the party along the street, over the green
+and across the loose white stones of the beach.
+
+He would have gone with them into the cave but was stopped. The
+senior officer fully appreciated Jimmy's courtesy and friendliness. No
+Englishman is indifferent to the friendliness of an earl, and Jimmy had
+introduced himself. But no Englishman, when on duty, will allow even an
+earl the smallest privilege. Duty, especially duty done in uniform, is
+a very sacred thing. Jimmy was obliged to wait outside at the mouth of
+the cave.
+
+He waited there for half an hour and smoked four cigarettes. He waited
+there another half-hour, smoking a pipe instead of cigarettes. After
+an hour and a half he sent the mentally deficient Whittle, the only
+villager who ventured near the cave, back to the Anchor Inn for beer.
+While he was drinking the beer the officers appeared again.
+
+"Interesting place that cave," said Jimmy cheerfully. "Did you find
+anything inside?"
+
+"You'll excuse my reminding you, my lord," said the senior officer,
+"that what we found and what we didn't find is no affair of yours."
+
+"Of course not," said Jimmy. "Have a cigarette and some beer. You must
+want beer."
+
+The senior officer did want beer. So did the others, all four of them.
+Jimmy's manner was engaging, and Jimmy, after all, was a real earl.
+
+"Duty is duty, my lord," said the officer apologetically.
+
+"And duty when done," said Jimmy, "deserves beer."
+
+That was true, and duty when done permits of the relaxation of official
+dignity. The beer in Jimmy's jug was finished, and Whittle, grinning
+foolishly, fetched some more. That was drunk. Jimmy's cigarettes were
+finished. The senior officer thawed into a confidence.
+
+"I didn't never expect to find anything in the cave, my lord, not me.
+It stands to reason that gentlemen like yourself and Sir Evelyn Dent
+wouldn't be trying those sort of tricks. But duty is duty."
+
+"It is," said Jimmy, "always was, and I hope always will be."
+
+"And when I got my orders, my lord, I obeyed them. But, in a manner
+of speaking, I knew pretty well we were after a mare's nest. The
+fellow that sent the information from France--well, I never did trust
+foreigners much, and of course it's from foreigners that sort of
+information mostly comes."
+
+
+
+
+Chapter XXI
+
+
+James Hinton waited in Paramé for three weeks anxiously expecting news
+from Hailey Compton. When he got none he supposed, quite rightly, that
+nothing sensational had happened and that he was in no danger of arrest
+and imprisonment. He returned to the Anchor Inn and now carries on his
+business there as courteously and efficiently as before.
+
+But James Hinton is a changed man. He has suffered disillusion.
+He speaks, with mysterious nods, and often in whispers, of a great
+financial loss which once fell on him. He goes into no details, but
+hints that he, an innocent and confiding man, was swindled by people
+whom he thought he could trust. He very nearly, but not quite, gave me
+his confidence when I was in Hailey Compton a fortnight ago and had a
+chat with him over a glass of beer.
+
+"You wouldn't think, sir," he said, "that a lady like Mrs. Eames,
+a vicar's wife, would have stooped to such meanness. Though of
+course, Mrs. Eames does not belong to that class in which I have been
+accustomed to live, as a servant, you understand, sir. But I did think
+that his lordship, the present earl, would have been above it. The
+late earl would never have done such a thing. But there---- It's better
+not to talk about it. I can put up with the loss. It isn't that I mind
+most, but I've been a believer in our aristocracy all my life and it's
+a sad thing--a knock out, sir, if you'll allow me to express myself
+in such a way--a blow to my faith, sir, to find that----" He sighed
+heavily. "But I'd rather say no more about it, sir, if you'll excuse
+me."
+
+Mr. Linker, who also returned to his business after a time, spoke much
+more plainly, and I regret to say more bitterly, when I called on him
+under pretext of buying some socks.
+
+"I don't set up to be a gentleman myself," he said, "but I say that
+if a man is a gentleman he ought to behave as such. And that's what
+some gentlemen I know didn't do. I don't care to go into details. It
+wouldn't suit a man in my position to talk too much about the matter.
+But when a gentleman like Lord Colavon takes advantage of my temporary
+absence from home to convert to his own use property with regard to
+which he occupied a fiduciary position---- As for the lady associated
+with him--I refer to Mrs. Eames--well, I always was a Nonconformist,
+and if that is the sort of conduct we are to expect from the wives of
+the clergy of the Church of England, I shall remain a Nonconformist. I
+don't want to be accused of setting up too high a standard of conduct,
+but I do think that common honesty might have been expected of a lady
+in Mrs. Eames's position."
+
+It was scarcely possible to miss the point of these reproaches. James
+Hinton and Linker believed that Mrs. Eames and Lord Colavon, probably
+Beth and Mary, possibly the vicar (I am not sure that Sir Evelyn
+escaped suspicion) had combined together to secure for their own use
+the whole cargo smuggled into Hailey Compton. Mrs. Eames and the girls
+were supposed to be wearing silk which belonged to Mr. Linker. Jimmy
+and the vicar--perhaps Sir Evelyn--were drinking Hinton's brandy
+and champagne. And the law--this was the hardest thing about the
+case--offered no redress to the injured men.
+
+Old Bunce and his friends, indeed the whole village, believe just what
+Hinton and Linker do. There is naturally a little soreness, for the
+village had looked forward to a share of the spoil. But there is no
+deep resentment. Mrs. Eames has even risen in everybody's opinion. She
+is more respected than she used to be and Lord Colavon is regarded as
+an exceedingly clever man.
+
+"To look at him," said old Bunce, "you wouldn't think there was much
+in him. And as for Mrs. Eames, anybody would think she was silly--what
+with her plays and her nonsense, just as silly as they make them. I was
+wrong about that, and I'm not one to be ashamed of owning up when I am
+wrong. That young fellow with the motor-car, Lord Colavon or whatever
+his name is, is as smart as paint, and Mrs. Eames isn't a fool, not by
+any manner of means."
+
+Mrs. Eames, who knows exactly what is said and thought about her, feels
+her position acutely, and is trying to induce her husband to seek an
+exchange to some other parish. She cannot defend herself by telling the
+truth. To do that would be to invite raids on the cave with all sorts
+of evil results. She has, for many years, been doing all in her power
+for the village. She has devoted her unusual powers of mind and body to
+the service of the people of Hailey Compton, and now----
+
+"It's very hard to bear," she said to me. "Not that I mind for myself.
+I don't, not a bit. But it's cruel to have poor darling Timothy
+misunderstood. Especially just when he really has done something for
+the village at last."
+
+Jimmy, with whom I had a chance of talking the matter over yesterday,
+takes a different line.
+
+"They think that of me, do they? By Jove!" he said. "Well, I dare say
+it's just as well they do. Unless they were satisfied that I had the
+stuff safely tucked away somewhere they'd go on searching for it till
+they found it. But, look here, you know, if I'm to be regarded as a
+thief I may as well do something to deserve it. I don't want to upset
+your aunt, Beth"--the Countess, looking very charming, was present
+during our talk--"and I wouldn't worry your uncle for the world, but
+as soon as they're safely out of Hailey Compton I'll go and get hold of
+that brandy. The silk will be ruined, of course, but the brandy will be
+all right, and I expect I could manage to hoist it up into the church
+again."
+
+"Jimmy," said the Countess anxiously, "you wouldn't steal that brandy,
+would you?"
+
+"Not for my own use," said Jimmy. "My idea would be to send it
+anonymously to the bishop for distribution among the country clergy.
+Those poor fellows must want cheering up and they get little enough
+of it. Just think of what your uncle Timothy's life would have been if
+he hadn't happened to marry your aunt. And there can't be many vicars'
+wives like her. That's why I think a few bottles of brandy and a dozen
+or so of fizz would be good for them. Their lives want brightening.
+Besides, the bishop would enjoy distributing it. He's a most benevolent
+old boy, and we owe him something. Uncle Evie told me he was in a
+dreadful state when he heard about the smuggling."
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+Hodder & Stoughton
+
+Some New and Forthcoming Novels
+
+
+THE DANCING FLOOR
+
+By JOHN BUCHAN, author of "John Macnab," "Greenmantle," etc.
+
+Sir Edward Leithen, who played a leading rôle in "John Macnab," gained
+the confidence of a young Englishman, haunted all his life by a dream,
+and of a girl, the heiress to a Greek island, whose quixotic sense of
+honour made her face alone a great peril. The inseverable connection
+between the destinies of the two, with the high test to which the
+courage of each was put, makes a great love story, a stirring, original
+adventure, and a fine study of modern youth.
+
+
+HALF A SOVEREIGN
+
+By IAN HAY, author of "A Knight on Wheels," "Paid with Thanks," etc.
+
+Colonel Leslie Miles, naturally bashful and none too surely recovered
+from shell-shock, accepts the hospitality of Sir James Rumborough,
+his lawyer, and finds himself, much against his will, included in a
+yachting party of dull, cranky, and otherwise uncompanionable people,
+for a cruise in the Mediterranean. During the cruise, in which the
+sites of ancient cities are visited, he finds himself reconstructing
+the old barbaric scenes as if he were himself a living part of them. It
+is all very embarrassing for Leslie, but it is when he gets in touch
+with Dido Queen of Carthage, who for the occasion assumes the body of
+the youthful widow, Mrs. Hatton, with whom he is in love, that his real
+troubles begin.
+
+
+THE PROPER PLACE
+
+By O. DOUGLAS, author of "The Setons," "Pink Sugar," etc.
+
+A story of the New Poor and the New Rich. Lady Jane Rutherford and her
+daughter, who sold their beautiful home in the Borders, and Mr. and
+Mrs. Jackson of Glasgow, who bought it, and struggled to live up to it,
+are some of the living characters that O. Douglas knows so well how to
+draw, and of whom she writes with such humour, pathos, and philosophy.
+
+
+WORD OF HONOUR
+
+Stories by "SAPPER," author of "Bull-Dog Drummond," "The Final Count,"
+etc.
+
+"Sapper" on top of his form. Here is another glorious volume of
+stories by the author of "Bull-Dog Drummond." Its note is swift drama,
+culminating into seeming irresistible crisis. More marked than ever is
+"Sapper's" peculiar attribute, whereby trivialities assume such potency
+in his hands that a tin of seccotine that didn't "stick" proves a far
+more dynamic weapon than all the knives and blunderbusses that ever
+draped the most bloody-minded buccaneer. A camera, boiling springs
+of Solfatara, an avenging Mamba, "a matter of voice," all play their
+volcanic rôles; and though there is never a word too many, there is
+always a story too little in a "Sapper" collection.
+
+
+LITTLE MRS. MANINGTON
+
+By CECIL ROBERTS, author of "Scissors," "Sails of Sunset," etc.
+
+Disaster was prophesied for the marriage of Richard Manington, a young
+English politician, with an American heiress. But Manington knew deep
+in his heart that he had not married for money, as Helen knew she had
+not married for position. Yet both these adjuncts of their love-match
+are there. The situation is subjected to Mr. Roberts' searching powers
+of analysis; the scenes have all his wizardry of description; while the
+dominating note is the sympathetic treatment of the actions and motives
+of enchanting Mrs. Manington.
+
+
+THE PIGEON HOUSE
+
+By VALENTINE WILLIAMS author of "The Man with the Club-foot," "The Red
+Mass," "Mr. Ramosi," etc.
+
+Rex Garrett, rising young painter and adventurous soul, who once served
+in the Foreign Legion, vanishes on the night of his wedding to Sally
+Candlin, a beautiful American girl, companion to Marcia Greer, a rich
+widow. Mrs. Greer took Sally from a New York dressmaker's, but lets
+Rex think that his bride is an heiress. Sally lacks the courage to
+speak the truth until their wedding night, and immediately after her
+confession Rex disappears. Mystery is piled on mystery: thrill treads
+on the heels of thrill. As in all Valentine Williams's novels real
+people carry the tale along.
+
+
+PRODIGALS OF MONTE CARLO
+
+By E. PHILLIPS OPPENHEIM, author of "The Golden Beast," "Stolen Idols,"
+etc.
+
+Mr. Oppenheim is still "the Prince of Storytellers" and "Prodigals of
+Monte Carlo" is a princely story with a real Oppenheim plot and a real
+Oppenheim thrill. After a nasty toss in the hunting field Sir Hargrave
+Wendever consulted a heart specialist who implied that the Baronet
+might have only six or eight months more to live. Asking three of his
+friends hypothetically what each would do under the circumstances, he
+was told that one would try to execute a spectacular financial coup,
+another would spend the time in continuous pleasure at Monte Carlo,
+and a third would endeavour to make happy some people who could not be
+reached by ordinary charity. Sir Hargrave vowed to do all three.
+
+
+THE SQUARE EMERALD
+
+By EDGAR WALLACE, author of "The Crimson Circle," etc.
+
+The three sisters Druze, around whom Mr. Wallace's amazing new book
+revolves, could not be described as living a quiet, normal life.
+They formed themselves into a gang for the fulfilment of multifarious
+activities not unconnected with forging, blackmail, impersonations,
+and anything that led to money and excitement. How the identity of
+these three enterprising women is established and their questionable
+proceedings laid bare by a slip of a girl detective forms an absorbing
+mystery story, bristling with the unexpected from start to finish.
+
+
+SEA WHISPERS
+
+By W. W. JACOBS, author of "Captains All," "Ship's Company," etc., with
+illustrations by BERT THOMAS.
+
+A new volume of the inimitable stories which have made Mr. Jacobs
+famous all over the world. It is some years now since Mr. Jacobs
+has added to the world's humour and gaiety with such a volume,
+and we feel sure the night watchman and his friends--longshore and
+others--will make a triumphal return. It is impossible to imitate Mr.
+Jacobs--he has no imitators. His fun and his laughter are unique. The
+delicious illustrations of Mr. Bert Thomas do justice even to "Jacobs"
+characters.
+
+
+THE UNDERSTANDING HEART
+
+By PETER B. KYNE, author of "Cappy Ricks," "The Pride of Palomar," etc.
+
+A tale of the early mining days in the West. "The Understanding Heart"
+tells of a man who braved persecution, and it records a wonderful love
+story and a deathless friendship.
+
+
+RACHEL
+
+By BEATRICE HARRADEN, author of "Spring Shall Plant," etc.
+
+The "roving spirit" possessed Rachel, and she abandoned husband
+and family. She left consternation and fear of a scandal behind her
+among an array of relations, and Mrs. Harraden has some good-tempered
+fun at their expense. Rachel's husband narrowly escaped "designing"
+housekeepers, his Victorian sister was with difficulty prevented from
+practising her good works on the home. Meanwhile Rachel went her way,
+and her motives and justification receive keen-sighted and sympathetic
+treatment.
+
+
+YESTERDAY'S HARVEST
+
+By MARGARET PEDLER, author of "The Vision of Desire," etc.
+
+The consequences of an unpremeditated theft and a chivalrous gesture
+belonging to the past cropped up again in the present. A new name, it
+appeared, did not give a new lease of life. Yesterday's harvest stood
+unreaped between Blair Maitland and Elizabeth when Elizabeth's father
+knew his story and refused him her hand in marriage. A tale of such
+romance, such dramatic intensity, and withal such dignity that it will
+be second to none among Mrs. Pedler's vibrant, enthralling books.
+
+
+THE VOICE OF DASHIN
+
+By "GANPAT," author of "Harilek," etc.
+
+A fresh, fascinating book of adventure and action, picturesquely and
+vividly set in the Hinterlands of the Karakorum. In plot and in scene
+this travelled author departs from the beaten track. His City of
+Fairy Towers, fantastic though gruesome, the delightfully colloquial
+relations of the two young British officers who find their way thither,
+an unusual love interest (and all of it set off with a capital sense
+of fun), these are some of the elements in an up-to-date, adventurous
+romance of an unusual character.
+
+
+WHAT IS TO BE
+
+By J. C. SNAITH, author of "Thus Far," etc.
+
+A romance of chivalrous adventure, moving surely towards its
+fore-ordained conclusion. John Rede Chandos married Ysa, an exiled
+young queen. Subsequent developments found him a Prince Consort in
+a European State, feeling slightly ridiculous and consistently,
+though gallantly, out of his depth. He tells his own story, in a
+self-deprecating, humorous manner, from the moment when he left his
+lawyer's office until the last phase, on a mountain-top, of "a battle
+he was born to lose."
+
+
+THE SMUGGLER'S CAVE
+
+By GEORGE A. BIRMINGHAM, author of "The Search Party," "Spanish Gold,"
+etc.
+
+This is the story of the Hailey Compton Village Pageant. The people
+who organised it, the vicar's wife and the local innkeeper, were
+unknown to fame. It had, at first, little or no backing in the press or
+aristocratic patronage. It was started in a casual, a most accidental
+way. Yet the Hailey Compton Pageant excited England from end to end,
+set every club in London gossiping, inspired a spate of articles in the
+daily papers, gravely affected the reputation of one of our oldest and
+most honoured families, and went near wrecking the prospects of one of
+our historic political parties.
+
+
+THE BLACK HUNTER
+
+JAMES OLIVER CURWOOD
+
+First Reviews: "James Oliver Curwood, one of the best of the romantic
+translators of the life of the Canadian wilderness, has given us a
+fine historical novel.... His tale is a great love story, strongly
+dramatic in its episodes, and the fight at the end of the book
+is Homeric."--_Liverpool Daily Courier._ "This stirring novel....
+This story of the tragic love of David Rock and Anne St. Denis and
+the treachery of the Intendent Bigot makes a memorable period live
+again."--_Daily Mail._ "An historical novel of much distinction. It
+takes us back to the days when old Quebec was in the hands of the
+French, and when the great struggle between French and English was
+about to begin.... Mr. Curwood has given us an informative, thrilling
+and finely written book."--_Edinburgh Evening News._
+
+
+DAVID WILDING
+
+By RICHMAL CROMPTON, author of "The House," "The Wildings," etc.
+
+Another friendly and humorous inquiry into the family life of the
+Wildings, handled with a touch so deft that the Wildings will be
+recognised in many a home. David's problem had become acute, with a
+wife who flaunted the family tradition, and a baby at whose christening
+and subsequent receptions all sorts of incompatible Wildings had
+to meet. There are rebellions and declarations of independence. But
+David's mother never lost her hold on the situation.
+
+
+THE AMAZING CHANCE
+
+By PATRICIA WENTWORTH, author of "The Black Cabinet," "The Dower House
+Mystery," etc.
+
+Anton Blum, a deaf and dumb German peasant, came to after an accident,
+and spoke--in English. He gave conclusive evidence that he was a
+Laydon, though changed beyond recognition. But which of the supposedly
+dead brothers he proved to be; whether he knew himself; and whether
+Evelyn, who had married Jim Laydon, could tell, makes a most romantic,
+enthralling problem, at whose solution the reader is kept guessing all
+the time.
+
+
+THE PLANTER OF THE TREE
+
+By RUBY M. AYRES, author of "The Man the Women Loved," "The Marriage
+Handicap," etc
+
+Philip Sanderson, a "waster" who spends his days in third-rate London
+clubs and cabarets, is in love with a dancer, Sally Lingfield, who
+cares nothing for him, but loves another man who is only amusing
+himself at her expense. One night, when the worse for drink, Philip
+knocks her down with his car, hopelessly crippling her so that she will
+never be able to dance again. The shock sobers him and brings all his
+better nature to the front.
+
+
+THREE PEOPLE
+
+By MABEL BARNES-GRUNDY, author of "Sleeping Dogs," etc.
+
+For this most fascinating story Mabel Barnes-Grundy has created "three
+people" who will remain clear and distinct in the minds and memories
+of her readers. All the beauty of the love and devotion which can
+bind together a brother and sister shines forth from the pages of this
+book. Then two people become three people. There steps into the lives
+of this brother and sister, a man, a German by birth, but with the
+blood of his English grandmother in his veins. Ronnie has a hatred of
+Germans amounting almost to an obsession. He has sworn an oath that
+never--knowingly--will he speak to a German again. The story works up
+to a dramatic climax; the atmosphere is delightful. There is wit and
+sparkle in the conversation.
+
+
+THE STRANGE FAMILY
+
+By E. H. LACON WATSON.
+
+Here is a chronicle of rare charm. It has about it the unsensational
+suggestion of authenticity. In quiet fashion it relates the early
+years of the children of a country rector. It gives an amusing
+picture of types and incidents in a village community. It passes with
+Rudolf Strange to Cambridge and becomes an illuminating record of the
+University in the 'eighties. A penetrating observation of character and
+period.
+
+
+THE THIRD MESSENGER
+
+By PATRICK WYNNTON, author of "The Black Turret."
+
+Trapped in a thieves' den, shut in with the corpse of a former victim,
+with death imminent, Hugh Carr, in his extremity, promises Providence
+that if he escapes he will make his life a worthier thing. In "The
+Third Messenger" Patrick Wynnton relates the result of that promise.
+For Providence gives Carr his chance, and gives her chance also to
+Kitty Magen, the luxury-sickened daughter of a millionaire. The final
+triumphant pageant of courage and love unconquered--all go to make this
+swift, keen story a more than worthy successor to "The Black Turret."
+
+
+OUT OF THESE THINGS
+
+By JAMES A. MORLEY.
+
+The title of this novel, "Out of These Things," is actually an
+adaptation of a quotation from Hugh Walpole's works--"Of these things
+... cometh the making of man,"--and it really fits the story, a story
+which has to do with the affairs of youth and age--a twelve-year-old
+and a man in love, scientific research and a secret passage, etc.
+There is a great deal of truth to human nature, and of sincerity to the
+influences of scenery in this book. The very inconclusiveness of its
+ending gives it a plausibility, and artistry which a more conventional
+finale would not exhibit. It has literary style and is a story of
+unusual character, of fine quality. "Out of These Things" is a first
+novel, very strongly endorsed by an eminent literary authority, and its
+author should have a great future.
+
+
+THE PENDULUM
+
+By MRS. BURNETT-SMITH.
+
+This story is an intimate and considered study of the growth,
+development and extraordinary phases of experience through which so
+many individuals and families had to pass during the most testing
+years of British history. It is told in the form of a woman's diary,
+and presents a vivid picture, both of family life and that deeper,
+more intimate life of the heart which is the determining factor in the
+majority of lives.
+
+
+BEVIL GRANVILLE'S HANDICAP
+
+By JOSEPH HOCKING, author of "The Wagon and the Star," etc.
+
+Bevil Granville, a young fellow of good name and a fine, generous
+nature, is accused of forgery and embezzlement. At the end of seven
+years of penal servitude he had become hard, sullen, cruel, vindictive.
+His one thought on leaving prison was to find out the person who had
+really committed the deed for which he was punished and to wreak his
+revenge. The narrative describes in a series of quick moving events his
+endeavours to discover the guilty person, the forces which were brought
+to bear on his life, his love and his hatred, the battle between
+good and evil and the final result of his schemes. There are fine
+descriptions of Cornish scenes and Cornish life and character, with all
+their simplicity and charm.
+
+
+HER PIRATE PARTNER
+
+By BERTA RUCK, author of "The Pearl Thief," "The Dancing Star," etc.
+
+Miss Berta Ruck states the case for a girl of to-day who is restricted
+by a Victorian guardian's opinion that a good home should be enough.
+Young men and outside friends were _taboo_. How Dorothea took the
+law into her own hands, how she was extricated from a series of
+difficulties, makes a delightful story that is modern in the best sense
+of the word.
+
+
+IT HAPPENED IN PEKIN
+
+By LOUISE JORDAN MILN, author of "In a Shantung Garden," etc.
+
+Another opportunity for Western eyes to see a little farther, penetrate
+a little deeper into the mysterious heart of China. The brilliant
+author of "Ruben and Ivy Sen" wields a searchlight which falls direct
+upon Chinese traditions and customs, joys and sorrows, hopes and fears.
+
+
+MASTER VORST
+
+By "SEAMARK," author of "Love's Enemy," "The Silent Six," etc.
+
+Somewhere along the River, down past the Pool, the Death Maker has
+a laboratory--a germ-farm crawling alive with all the most hideous
+disease cultures you can think of. The maker of death has cultivated
+enough sudden death in this germ-farm to wipe out London in a night,
+and all Britain in a week. As we follow the intrepid Maine through
+the inner heart of Chinatown, there comes a feeling that sandbags
+descending from upper windows upon the passer-by are by no means
+beyond the range of possibility. It is all very well done--very
+convincing--and the reader will give thanks for Scotland Yard and men
+like Kellard Maine.
+
+
+THE DESERT THOROUGHBRED
+
+By JACKSON GREGORY, author of "Desert Valley." "The Wilderness Trail,"
+etc.
+
+In Jackson Gregory's latest and greatest story two lonely souls on
+their respective oases--widely separated by miles of burning desert
+sand--found one another after much adventure and tribulation. They came
+within an ace of disaster and death; Lasalle, outcast from his fellow
+men for a supposed murder, Camilla, bereft of protection, wandering in
+the desert. A powerful drama of the open spaces.
+
+
+THE D'ARBLAY MYSTERY
+
+By R. AUSTIN FREEMAN, author of "The Red Thumb-mark," "The Singing
+Bone," etc.
+
+The discovery of a murdered man; the criminal unknown; the complete
+absence of clues; everything, in fact, which brings Thorndyke into his
+own, opens this absorbing mystery. He accumulates unnoticed evidence
+in his best manner, and leads his investigations up to a startling
+_dénouement_, which comes as a complete surprise.
+
+
+SECRET HARBOUR
+
+By STEWART EDWARD WHITE, author of "Arizona Nights," etc.
+
+"X. Anaxagoras, Healer of Souls," found that his cure for indifference
+to life must be repeated on his brother-in-law, Roger Marshall.
+So he prescribed strenuous living and furious excitement. In that
+extraordinary and mysterious manner of his, he got to work, and
+deciding that Marshall would benefit by becoming a criminal, he
+arranged a neat crime for him. Stewart Edward White, whose own life
+has consisted mainly of action and excitement, has surpassed himself in
+this story of adventure in Canadian waters.
+
+
+COUSIN JANE
+
+By HARRY LEON WILSON, author of "Ruggles of Red Gap," etc.
+
+Harry Leon Wilson's humour and charm find new and productive investment
+in "Cousin Jane." She was a young woman ill-suited to settle down among
+relatives who lived on the departed glory of a Californian fortune made
+in the 'sixties. Jane had inherited something of the pioneer spirit
+which found that fortune, and she salved something of the wrecked
+estate and gained for herself a place in the new age which had come
+while she worked.
+
+
+THE LAW OF THE TALON
+
+By LOUIS TRACY, author of "The Gleave Mystery," etc.
+
+A wonderfully absorbing story, which opens in the Hudson Bay district
+and is played out in the Scottish Highlands, with all their weird
+colour and eerie charm. To secure his cousin's fiancée Eileen, and
+the succession to Inverlochtie, which should go to Lord Oban's son,
+John Panton, the specious Alastair had bribed Sergeant Ferdinand
+Conington to drug his superior officer just before an engagement.
+Court-martialled as a drunkard and a coward, Panton is cast off by his
+father, and for seven years he disappears. But news percolates at last
+even to Hudson Bay, and, accompanied by his only friend, the Canadian
+husky, "Spot," Panton dashes homewards in the hope of saving the woman
+he loves from a disastrous marriage.
+
+
+THE PASSIONLESS QUEST
+
+By CHARLES CANNELL, author of "The Guardian of the Cup."
+
+John Francis Algernon de Courci Delourede, one of the Worcestershire
+Delouredes, comes up against something new--a girl, little more
+than a school-girl, to whom his wealth and influence make no appeal!
+Elsie Farrar goes straight to the heart not only of John, but also of
+every reader who starts out to follow her on the "passionless quest."
+Enriquez is a sheer delight; and the famous trio, Mackenzie, Martin
+Kent, and Wally Evans, are men who forge ahead and get things done
+in that quiet and undemonstrative fashion which we like to regard as
+wholly British.
+
+
+     HODDER & STOUGHTON LTD. PUBLISHERS
+     WARWICK SQUARE :: :: LONDON E.C.4
+
+
+
+
+      *      *      *      *      *      *
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's note:
+
+Inconsistent hyphenation and spelling in the original document have
+been preserved.
+
+Obvious typographical errors have been corrected.
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 44752 ***