summaryrefslogtreecommitdiff
path: root/old
diff options
context:
space:
mode:
authornfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org>2025-03-03 20:19:35 -0800
committernfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org>2025-03-03 20:19:35 -0800
commit40602785ba23a963971cf7a42cc4afe0964597b4 (patch)
tree7cb1907ec3b9ba9badef09f7b51447edc9efeecb /old
parent4c5b9a99c7d8854a77d422023eed907bd826a918 (diff)
Add files from ibiblio as of 2025-03-03 20:19:35HEADmain
Diffstat (limited to 'old')
-rw-r--r--old/44146-0.txt1436
-rw-r--r--old/44146-0.zipbin28336 -> 0 bytes
-rw-r--r--old/44146-h.zipbin1462443 -> 0 bytes
-rw-r--r--old/44146-h/44146-h.htm1730
-rw-r--r--old/44146-h/images/26.jpgbin205568 -> 0 bytes
-rw-r--r--old/44146-h/images/32.jpgbin184712 -> 0 bytes
-rw-r--r--old/44146-h/images/46.jpgbin145346 -> 0 bytes
-rw-r--r--old/44146-h/images/52.jpgbin236312 -> 0 bytes
-rw-r--r--old/44146-h/images/62.jpgbin142871 -> 0 bytes
-rw-r--r--old/44146-h/images/72.jpgbin151427 -> 0 bytes
-rw-r--r--old/44146-h/images/82.jpgbin177153 -> 0 bytes
-rw-r--r--old/44146-h/images/dogVS.jpgbin25392 -> 0 bytes
-rw-r--r--old/44146-h/images/frontispiece.jpgbin149724 -> 0 bytes
-rw-r--r--old/44146-h/images/titlepage.jpgbin92862 -> 0 bytes
-rw-r--r--old/44146.txt1435
-rw-r--r--old/44146.zipbin28222 -> 0 bytes
-rw-r--r--old/readme.htm13
17 files changed, 0 insertions, 4614 deletions
diff --git a/old/44146-0.txt b/old/44146-0.txt
deleted file mode 100644
index b69c88e..0000000
--- a/old/44146-0.txt
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,1436 +0,0 @@
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of That Pup, by Ellis Parker Butler
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
-
-
-Title: That Pup
-
-Author: Ellis Parker Butler
-
-Release Date: November 10, 2013 [EBook #44146]
-Last Updated: March 11, 2018
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THAT PUP ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by David Widger
-
-
-
-
-
-
-THAT PUP
-
-By Ellis Parker Butler
-
-Author Of Pigs Is Pigs, Kilo, Etc.
-
-Illustrated
-
-New York The Mcclure Company, MCMVII
-
-
-
-
-I. THE EDUCATION OF FLUFF
-
-Murchison, who lives next door to me, wants to get rid of a dog, and if
-you know of anyone who wants a dog I wish you would let Murchison know.
-Murchison doesn't need it. He is tired of dogs, anyway. That is just
-like Murchison. 'Way up in an enthusiasm one day and sick of it the
-next.
-
-Brownlee--Brownlee lives on the other side of Murchison--remembers when
-Murchison got the dog. It was the queerest thing, so Murchison says,
-you ever heard of. Here came the express wagon--Adams' Express Company's
-wagon--and delivered the dog. The name was all right--“C. P. Murchison,
-Gallatin, Iowa”--and the charges were paid. The charges were $2.80, and
-paid, and the dog had been shipped from New York. Think of that! Twelve
-hundred miles in a box, with a can of condensed milk tied to the box and
-“Please feed” written on it.
-
-[Illustration: frontispiece]
-
-When Murchison came home to dinner, there was the dog. At first
-Murchison was pleased; then he was surprised; then he was worried. He
-hadn't ordered a dog. The more he thought about it the more he worried.
-
-“If I could just _think_ who sent it,” he said to Brownlee, “then I
-would know who sent it; but I can't think. It is evidently a valuable
-dog. I can see that. People don't send cheap, inferior dogs twelve
-hundred miles. But I can't _think_ who sent it.”
-
-“What worries me,” he said to Brownlee another time, “is who sent it.
-I can't _imagine_ who would send me a dog from New York. I know so many
-people, and, like as not, some influential friend of mine has meant to
-make me a nice present, and now he is probably mad because I haven't
-acknowledged it. I'd like to know what he thinks of me about now!”
-
-It almost worried him sick. Murchison never did care for dogs, but when
-a man is presented with a valuable dog, all the way from New York, with
-$2.80 charges paid, he simply _has_ to admire that dog. So Murchison got
-into the habit of admiring the dog, and so did Mrs. Murchison. From what
-they tell me, it was rather a nice dog in its infancy, for it was only a
-pup then. Infant dogs have a habit of being pups.
-
-As near as I could gather from what Murchison and Mrs. Murchison
-told me, it was a little, fluffy, yellow ball, with bright eyes and
-ever-moving tail. It was the kind of a dog that bounces around like a
-rubber ball, and eats the evening newspaper, and rolls down the porch
-steps with short, little squawks of surprise, and lies down on its back
-with its four legs in the air whenever a bigger dog comes near. In color
-it was something like a camel, but a little redder where the hair was
-long, and its hair was like beaver fur--soft and woolly inside, with a
-few long hairs that were not so soft. It was so little and fluffy that
-Mrs. Murchison called it Fluff. Pretty name for a soft, little dog is
-Fluff.
-
-“If I only _knew_ who sent that dog,” Murchison used to say to Brownlee,
-“I would like to make some return. I'd send him a barrel of my best
-melons, express paid, if it cost me five dollars!”
-
-Murchison was in the produce business, and he knew all about melons, but
-not so much about dogs. Of course he could tell a dog from a cat, and a
-few things of that sort, but Brownlee was the real dog man. Brownlee had
-two Irish pointers or setters--I forget which they were; the black dogs
-with the long, floppy ears. I don't know much about dogs myself. I hate
-dogs.
-
-Brownlee knows a great deal about dogs. He isn't one of the book-taught
-sort; he knows dogs by instinct. As soon as he sees a dog he can make
-a guess at its breed, and out our way that is a pretty good test, for
-Gallatin dogs are rather cosmopolitan. That is what makes good stock in
-men--Scotch grandmother and German grandfather on one side and English
-grandmother and Swedish grandfather on the other--and I don't see why
-the same isn't true of dogs. There are numbers of dogs in Gallatin that
-can trace their ancestry through nearly every breed of dog that ever
-lived, and Brownlee can look at any one of them and immediately guess
-at its formula--one part Spitz, three parts greyhound, two parts collie,
-and so on. I have heard him guess more kinds of dog than I ever knew
-existed.
-
-As soon as he saw Murchison's dog he guessed it was a pure bred Shepherd
-with a trace of Eskimo. Massett, who thinks he knows as much about dogs
-as Brownlee does, didn't believe it. The moment he saw the pup he said
-it was a pedigree dog, half St. Bernard and half Spitz.
-
-Brownlee and Massett used to sit on Murchison's steps after supper and
-point out the proofs to each other. They would argue for hours.
-
-“All right, Massett,” Brownlee would say, “but you can't fool _me_. I
-Look at that nose! If that isn't a Shepherd nose, I'll eat it. And see
-that tail! Did you ever see a tail like that on a Spitz? That is an
-Eskimo tail as sure as I am a foot high.”
-
-“Tail fiddlesticks!” Massett would reply. “You can't tell anything by
-a pup's tail. Look at his ears! _There_ is St. Bernard for you! And see
-his lower jaw. Isn't that Spitz? I'll leave it to Murchison. Isn't that
-lower jaw Spitz, Murchison?”
-
-Then all three would tackle the puppy and open its mouth and feel its
-jaw, and the pup would wriggle and squeak, and back away, opening and
-shutting its mouth to see if its works had been damaged.
-
-“All right!” Brownlee would say. “You wait a year or two and you'll
-see!”
-
-About three months later the pup was as big as an ordinary full-grown
-dog, and his coat looked like a compromise between a calfskin and one of
-these hairbrush door mats you use to wipe your feet on in muddy weather.
-He did not look like the same pup. He was long limbed and awkward and
-useless, and homely as a shopworn fifty-cent yellow plush manicure set.
-Murchison began to feel that he didn't really need a dog, but Brownlee
-was as enthusiastic as ever. He would go over to Murchison's fairly
-oozing dog knowledge.
-
-“I'll tell you what that dog is,” he would say. “That dog is a cross
-between a Great Dane and an English Deerhound. You've got a very
-valuable dog there, Murchison, a very valuable dog. He comes of fine
-stock on both sides, and it is a cross you don't often see. I never saw
-it, and I've seen all kinds of crossed dogs.”
-
-Then Massett would drop in and walk around the dog admiringly for a few
-minutes and absorb his beauties.
-
-“Murchison,” he would say, “do you know what that dog is? That dog is
-a pure cross between a Siberian wolfhound and a Newfoundland. You treat
-that dog right and you'll have a fortune in him. Why, a pure Siberian
-wolfhound is worth a thousand dollars, and a good--a really good
-Newfoundland, mind you--is worth two thousand, and you've got both in
-one dog. That's three thousand dollars' worth of dog!”
-
-In the next six months Fluff grew. He broadened out and lengthened and
-heightened, and every day or two Brownlee or Massett would discover a
-new strain of dog in him. They pointed out to Murchison all the marks
-by which he could tell the different kinds of dog that were combined
-in Fluff, and every time they discovered a new one they held a sort of
-jubilee, and bragged and swelled their chests. They seemed to spend all
-their time thinking up odd and strange kinds of dog that Fluff had in
-him. Brownlee discovered the traces of Cuban bloodhound, Kamtchatka
-hound, beagle, Brague de Bengale, and Thibet mastiff, but Massett first
-traced the stag-hound, Turkoman watchdog, Dachshund, and Harrier in him.
-
-[Illustration: 26]
-
-Murchison, not being a doggish man, never claimed to have noticed any of
-these family resemblances, and never said what he thought the dog really
-was until a month or two later, when he gave it as his opinion that the
-dog was a cross between a wolf, a Shetland pony, and hyena. It was about
-that time that Fluff had to be chained. He had begun to eat other dogs,
-and children and chickens. The first night Murchison chained him to his
-kennel Fluff walked half a mile, taking the kennel along, and then only
-stopped because the kennel got tangled with a lamp-post. The man who
-brought him home claimed that Fluff was nearly asphyxiated when he found
-him; said he gnawed half through the lamp-post, and that gas got in his
-lungs, but this was not true. Murchison learned afterwards that it was
-only a gasoline lamp-post, and a wooden one.
-
-“If there were only some stags around this part of the country,” said
-Massett, “the stag-hound strain in that dog would be mighty valuable.
-You could rent him out to everybody who wanted to go stag hunting; and
-you'd have a regular monopoly, because he's the only staghound in this
-part of the country. And stag hunting would be popular, too, out here,
-because there are no game laws that interfere with stag hunting in this
-State. There is no closed season. People could hunt stags all the year
-round, and you'd have that dog busy every day of the year.”
-
-“Yes!” sneered Brownlee, “only there are no stags. And he hasn't any
-staghound blood in him. Pity there are no Dachs in this State, too,
-isn't it? Then Murchison could hire his dog at night, too. They hunt
-Dachs at night, don't they, Massett? Only there is no Dachshund blood in
-him, either. If there was, and if there were a few Dachs-”
-
-Massett was mad.
-
-“Yes!” he cried. “And you, with your Cuban bloodhound strain! I suppose
-if it was the open season for Cubans, you'd go out with the dog and tree
-a few! Or put on snowshoes and follow the Kamtchat to his icy lair!”
- Brownlee doesn't get mad easily.
-
-“Murchison,” he said, “leaving out Mas-sett's dreary nonsense about
-staghounds, I can tell you that dog would make the finest duck dog in
-the State. He's got all the points for a good duck dog, and I ought to
-know for I have two of the best duck dogs that ever lived. All he needs
-is training. If you will train him right you'll have a mighty valuable
-dog.”
-
-“But I don't hunt ducks,” said Murchison, “and I don't know how to train
-even a lap-dog.”
-
-“You let me attend to his education,” said Brownlee. “I just want to
-show Massett here that I know a dog when I see one. I'll show Massett
-the finest duck dog he ever saw when I get through with Fluff.”
-
-So he went over and got his shotgun, just to give Fluff his first
-lesson. The first thing a duck dog must learn is not to be afraid of a
-gun, and Brownlee said that if a dog first learned about guns right at
-his home he was not so apt to be afraid of them. He said that if a dog
-heard a gun for the first time when he was away from home and in strange
-surroundings he was quite right to be surprised and startled, but if he
-heard it in the bosom of his family, with all his friends calmly seated
-about, he would think it was a natural thing, and accept it as such.
-
-So Brownlee put a shell in his gun and Mas-sett and Murchison sat on the
-porch steps and pretended to be uninterested and normal, and Brownlee
-stood up and aimed the gun in the air. Fluff was eating a bone, but
-Brownlee spoke to him and he looked up, and Brownlee pulled the trigger.
-It seemed about five minutes before Fluff struck the ground, he jumped
-so high when the gun was fired, and then he started north by northeast
-at about sixty miles an hour. He came back all right, three weeks later,
-but his tail was still between his legs.
-
-[Illustration: 32]
-
-Brownlee didn't feel the least discouraged. He said he saw now that
-the whole principle of what he had done was wrong; that no dog with any
-brains whatever could be anything but frightened to hear a gun shot off
-right in the bosom of his family. That was no place to fire a gun. He
-said Fluff evidently thought the whole lot of us were crazy, and ran in
-fear of his life, thinking we were insane and might shoot him next.
-He said the thing to do was to take the shotgun into its natural
-surroundings and let Fluff learn to love it there. He pictured Fluff
-enjoying the sound of the gun when he heard it at the edge of the lake.
-
-Murchison never hunted ducks, but as Fluff was his dog, he went with
-Brownlee, and of course Massett went. Massett wanted to see the failure.
-He said he wished stags were as plentiful as ducks, and he would show
-Brownlee!
-
-Fluff was a strong dog--he seemed to have a strain of ox in him, so far
-as strength went--and as long as he saw the gun he insisted that he
-would stay at home; but when Brownlee wrapped the gun in brown paper so
-it looked like a big parcel from the meat shop, the horse that they had
-hitched to the buck-board was able to drag Fluff along without straining
-itself. Fluff was fastened to the rear axle with a chain.
-
-When they reached Duck Lake, Brownlee untied Fluff and patted him,
-and then unwrapped the gun. Fluff gave one pained glance and made the
-six-mile run home in seven minutes without stopping. He was home before
-Brownlee could think of anything to say, and he went so far into his
-kennel that Murchison had to take off the boards at the back to find him
-that night.
-
-“That's nothing,” was what Brownlee said when he did speak; “young dogs
-are often that way. Gun fright. They have to be gun broken. You come out
-to-morrow, and I'll show you how a man who really knows how to handle a
-dog does the trick.”
-
-The next day, when Fluff saw the buck-board he went into his kennel, and
-they couldn't pry him out with the hoe-handle. He connected buckboards
-and guns in his mind, so Brownlee borrowed the butcher's delivery wagon,
-and they drove to Wild Lake. It was seven miles, but Fluff seemed more
-willing to go in that direction than toward Duck Lake. He did not seem
-to care to go to Duck Lake at all.
-
-“Now, then,” said Brownlee, “I'll show you the intelligent way to handle
-a dog. I'll prove to him that he has nothing to fear, that I am his
-comrade and friend. And at the same time,” he said, “I'll not have him
-running off home and spoiling our day's sport.”
-
-So he took the chain and fastened it around his waist, and then he sat
-down and talked to Fluff like an old friend, and got him in a playful
-mood. Then he had Murchison get the gun out of the wagon and lay it on
-the ground about twenty feet off. It was wrapped in brown paper.
-
-Brownlee talked to Fluff and told him what fine sport duck hunting is,
-and then, as if by chance, he got on his hands and knees and crawled
-toward the gun. Fluff hung back a little, but the chain just coaxed him
-a little, too, and they edged up to the gun, and Brownlee pretended to
-discover it unexpectedly.
-
-“Well, well!” he said. “What's this?”
-
-Fluff nosed up to it and sniffed it, and then went at it as if it was
-Massett's cat. That Brownlee had wrapped a beefsteak around the gun,
-inside the paper, and Fluff tore off the paper and ate the steak, and
-Brownlee winked at Murchison.
-
-“I declare,” he said, “if here isn't a gun! Look at this, Fluff--a gun!
-Gosh! but we are in luck!”
-
-Would you believe it, that dog sniffed at the gun, and did not fear it
-in the least? You could have hit him on the head with it and he would
-not have minded it. He never did mind being hit with small things like
-guns and ax handles.
-
-Brownlee got up and stood erect.
-
-“You see!” he said proudly. “All a man needs with a dog like this is
-intelligence. A dog is like a horse. He wants his reason appealed to.
-Now, if I fire the gun, he may be a little startled, but I have created
-a faith in me in him. He knows there is nothing dangerous in a gun _as_
-a gun. He knows I am not afraid of it, so he is not afraid. He realizes
-that we are chained together, and that proves to him that he need not
-run unless I run. Now watch.”
-
-Brownlee fired the shotgun.
-
-Instantly he started for home. He did not start lazily, like a boy
-starting to the wood pile, but went promptly and with a dash. His first
-jump was only ten feet, and we heard him grunt as he landed, but after
-that he got into his stride and made fourteen feet each jump. He was
-bent forward a good deal in the middle, where the chain was, and in many
-ways he was not as graceful as a professional cinder-path track runner,
-but, in running, the main thing is to cover the ground rapidly. Brownlee
-did that.
-
-Massett said it was a bad start. He said it was all right to start a
-hundred-yard dash that way, but for a long-distance run--a run of seven
-miles across country--the start was too impetuous; that it showed a lack
-of generalship, and that when it came to the finish the affair would be
-tame; but it wasn't.
-
-Brownlee said afterwards that there wasn't a tame moment in the entire
-seven miles. It was rather more wild than tame. He felt right from the
-start that the finish would be sensational, unless the chain cut him
-quite in two, and it didn't. He said that when the chain had cut as far
-as his spinal column it could go no farther, and it stopped and clung
-there, but it was the only thing that did stop, except his breath. It
-was several years later that I first met Brownlee, and he was still
-breathing hard, like a man who has just been running rapidly. Brownlee
-says when he shuts his eyes his legs still seem to be going.
-
-The first mile was through underbrush, and that was lucky, for the
-underbrush removed most of Brownlee's clothing, and put him in better
-running weight, but at the mile and a quarter they struck the road.
-He said at two miles he thought he might be overexercising the dog and
-maybe he had better stop, but the dog seemed anxious to get home so he
-didn't stop there. He said that at three miles he was sure the dog was
-overdoing, and that with his knowledge of dogs he was perfectly able
-to stop a running dog in its own length if he could speak to it, but
-he couldn't speak to this dog for two reasons. One was that he couldn't
-overtake the dog and the other was that all the speak was yanked out of
-him.
-
-When they reached five miles the dog seemed to think they were taking
-too much time to get home, and let out a few more laps of speed, and
-it was right there that Brownlee decided that Fluff had some greyhound
-blood in him.
-
-He said that when they reached town he felt as if he would have been
-glad to stop at his own house and lie down for awhile, but the dog
-didn't want to, and so they went on; but that he ought to be thankful
-that the dog was willing to stop at that town at all. The next town was
-twelve miles farther on, and the roads were bad. But the dog turned into
-Murchison's yard and went right into his kennel.
-
-When Murchison and Massett got home, an hour or so later, after driving
-the horse all the way at a gallop, they found old Gregg, the carpenter,
-prying the roof off the kennel. You see, Murchison had knocked the rear
-out of the kennel the day before, and so when the dog aimed for
-the front he went straight through, and as Brownlee was built more
-perpendicular than the dog, Brownlee didn't go quite through. He went
-in something like doubling up a dollar bill to put it into a thimble.
-I don't suppose anyone would want to double up a dollar bill to put it
-into a thimble, but neither did Brownlee want to be doubled up and
-put into the kennel. It was the dog's thought. So they had to take the
-kennel roof off.
-
-When they got Brownlee out they laid him on the grass, and covered him
-up with a porch rug, and let him lie there a couple of hours to pant,
-for that seemed what he wanted to do just then. It was the longest
-period Brownlee ever spent awake without talking about dog.
-
-Murchison and Massett and old Gregg and twenty-six informal guests stood
-around and gazed at Brownlee panting. Presently Brownlee was able to
-gasp out a few words.
-
-“Murchison,” he gasped, “Murchison, if you just had that dog in
-Florence--or wherever it is they race dogs--you'd have a fortune.”
-
-He panted awhile, and then gasped out:
-
-“He's a great runner; a phenomenal runner!”
-
-He had to pant more, and then he gasped with pride:
-
-“But I wasn't three feet behind him all the way!”
-
-
-
-
-II. GETTING RID OF FLUFF
-
-So after that Murchison decided to get rid of Fluff. He told me that he
-had never really-wanted a dog, anyway, but that when a dog is sent, all
-the way from New York, anonymously, with $2.80 charges paid, it is hard
-to cast the dog out into the cold world without giving it a trial. So
-Murchison tried the dog for a few more years, and at last he decided
-he would have to get rid of him. He came over and spoke to me about it,
-because I had just moved in next door.
-
-“Do you like dogs?” he asked, and that was the first word of
-conversation I ever had with Murchison. I told him frankly that I did
-not like dogs, and that my wife did not like them, and Murchison seemed
-more pleased than if I had offered him a thousand dollars.
-
-“Now, I am glad of that,” he said, “for Mrs. Murchison and I hate dogs.
-If you do not like dogs, I will get rid of Fluff. I made up my mind
-several years ago to get rid of Fluff, but when I heard you were going
-to move into this house, I decided not to get rid of him until I knew
-whether you liked dogs or not. I told Mrs. Murchison that if we got rid
-of Fluff before you came, and then found that you loved dogs and owned
-one, you might take our getting rid of Fluff as a hint that your dog was
-distasteful to us, and it might hurt your feelings. And Mrs. Murchison
-said that if you had a dog, your dog might feel lonely in a strange
-place and might like to have Fluff to play with until your dog got used
-to the neighborhood. So we did not get rid of him; but if you do not
-like dogs we will get rid of him right away.”
-
-I told Murchison that I saw he was the kind of a neighbor a man liked to
-have, and that it was kind of him to offer to get rid of Fluff, but that
-he mustn't do so just on our account.
-
-I said that if he wanted to keep the dog, he had better do so.
-
-“Now, that is kind of you,” said Murchison, “but we would really rather
-get rid of him. I decided several years ago that I would get rid of him,
-but Brownlee likes dogs, and took an interest in Fluff, and wanted to
-make a bird dog of him, so we kept Fluff for his sake. But now Brownlee
-is tired of making a bird dog of him. He says Fluff is too strong to
-make a good bird dog, and not strong enough to rent out as a horse, and
-he is willing I should get rid of him. He says he is anxious for me to
-get rid of him as soon as I can.”
-
-When I saw Fluff I agreed with Brownlee. At the first glance I saw that
-Fluff was a failure as a dog, and that to make a good camel he needed
-a shorter neck and more hump, but he had the general appearance of an
-amateur camel. He looked as if some one who had never seen a dog, but
-had heard of one, had started out to make a dog, and got to thinking of
-a camel every once in a while, and had tried to show me Fluff that day
-worked in parts of what he thought a camel was like with what he thought
-a dog was like, and then--when the job was about done--had decided it
-was a failure, and had just finished it up any way, sticking on the
-meanest and cheapest hair he could find, and getting most of it on wrong
-side to.
-
-[Illustration: 52]
-
-But the cheap hair did not matter much. Murchison and Brownlee showed me
-the place where Fluff had worn most of it off the ridge pole of his back
-crawling under the porch. He tried to show me Fluff that day, but it was
-so dark under the porch that I could not tell which was Fluff and which
-was simply underneathness of porch. But from what Brownlee told me
-that day, I knew that Fluff had suffered a permanent dislocation of the
-spirits. He told me he had taken Fluff out to make a duck dog of him,
-and that all the duck Fluff was interested in was to duck when he saw a
-gun, and that after he had heard a gun fired once or twice he had become
-sad and dejected, and had acquired a permanently ingrowing tail, and an
-expression of face like a coyote, but more mournful. He had acquired a
-habit of carrying his head down and forward, as if he was about to lay
-it on the headsman's block, and knew he deserved that and more, and the
-sooner it was over the better. He couldn't even scratch fleas correctly.
-Brownlee said that when he met a flea in the road he would not even go
-around it, but would stoop down like a camel to let the flea get aboard.
-He was that kind of a dog. He was the most discouraged dog I ever knew.
-
-The next day I was putting down the carpet in the back bedroom, when in
-came Murchison.
-
-“I came over to speak to you about Fluff,” he said. “I am afraid he
-must have annoyed you last night. I suppose you heard him howl?”
-
-“Yes, Murchison,” I said, “I did hear him. I never knew a dog could howl
-so loud and long as that. He must have been very ill.”
-
-“Oh, no!” said Murchison cheerfully. “That is the way he always howls.
-That is one of the reasons I have decided to get rid of Fluff. But it
-is a great deal worse for us than it is for you. The air inlet of our
-furnace is at the side of the house just where Fluff puts his head when
-he howls, and the register in our room is right at the head of our bed.
-So his howl goes in at the inlet and down through the furnace and up
-the furnace pipes, and is delivered right in our room, just as clear and
-strong as if he was in the room. That is one reason I have fully decided
-to get rid of Fluff. It would not be so bad if we had only one register
-in our house, but we have ten, and when Fluff howls, his voice is
-delivered by all ten registers, so it is just as if we had ten Fluffs
-in the house at one time. And ten howls like Fluff's are too much.
-Even Brownlee says so.” I told Murchison that I agreed with Brownlee
-perfectly. Fluff had a bad howl. It sounded as if Cruel Fate, with
-spikes in his shoes, had stepped on Fluff's inmost soul, and then jogged
-up and down on the tenderest spot, and Fluff was trying to reproduce his
-feelings in vocal exercises. It sounded like a cheap phonograph giving
-a symphony in the key of woe minor, with a megaphone attachment and bad
-places in the record. Judging by his voice, the machine needed a new
-needle. But the megaphone attachment was all right.
-
-Brownlee--who knows all about dogs--said that he knew what was
-the matter with Fluff. He said Fluff had a very high-grade musical
-temperament, and that he longed to be the Caruso of dogs. He said that
-he could see that all through his bright and hopeful puppyhood he had
-looked forward to being a great singer, with a Wagner repertoire and
-tremolo stops in his song organ, and that he had early set his aim at
-perfection. He said Fluff was that kind of a dog, and that when he saw
-what his voice had turned out to be he was dissatisfied, and became
-morbid. He said that any dog that had a voice like Fluff's had a right
-to be dissatisfied with it--he would be dissatisfied himself with
-that voice. He said he did not wonder that Fluff slunk around all day,
-feeling he was no good on earth, and that he could understand that when
-night came and everything was still, so that Fluff could judge of the
-purity of his tonal quality better, he would pull out his voice, and
-tune it up and look it over and try it again, hoping it had improved
-since he tried it last. Brownlee said it never had improved, and that
-was what made Fluff's howl so mournful--it was full of tears. He said
-Fluff would go to G flat and B flat and D flat, and so on until he
-struck a note he felt he was pretty good at, and then he would cling to
-that note and weep it full of tears.
-
-[Illustration: 52]
-
-He asked Murchison if he hadn't noticed that the howl was sort of damp
-and salty from the tears, but Murchison said he hadn't noticed the
-dampness. He said it probably got dried out of the howl before it
-readied him, coming through the furnace. Then Brownlee said that if
-there was only some way of regulating Fluff, so that he could be turned
-on and off, Murchison would have a fortune in him: he could turn his
-howl off when people wanted to be cheerful, and then, when a time of
-great national woe occurred, Murchison could turn Fluff on and set him
-going. He said he never heard anything in his life that came so near
-expressing in sound a great national woe as Fluff's howl did. He said
-Fluff might lack finish in tonal quality, but that in woe quality he was
-a master: he was stuffed so full of woe quality that it oozed out of his
-pores. He said he always thought what a pity it was for dogs like Fluff
-that people preferred cheerful songs like “Annie Rooney” and “Waltz me
-around again, Willie” to the nobler woe operas. He said he had tried
-to like good music himself, but it was no use: whenever he heard Fluff
-sing, he felt that Murchison ought to get rid of Fluff. Then Murchison
-said that was just what he was going to do. What he wanted to talk about
-was how to get rid of Fluff.
-
-But I am getting too far ahead of my story. Whenever I get to talking
-about the howl of Fluff, I find I wander on for hours at a time.
-
-It takes hours of talk to explain just what a mean howl Fluff had.
-
-But as I was saying, Murchison came over while I was putting down the
-carpet in my back bedroom, and told me he had fully decided to get rid
-of Fluff.
-
-“I have fully decided to get rid of him,” he said, “and the only thing
-that bothers me is how to get rid of him.”
-
-“Give him away,” I suggested.
-
-“That's a good idea!” said Murchison gratefully. “That's the very idea
-that occurred to me when I first thought of getting rid of Fluff. It is
-an idea that just matches Fluff all over. That is just the kind of dog
-Fluff is. If ever a dog was made to give away, Fluff was made for it.
-The more I think about him and look at him and study him, the surer I am
-that the only thing he is good for is to give away.”
-
-Then he shook his head and sighed.
-
-“The only trouble,” he said, “is that Fluff _is_ the give-away kind of
-dog. That is the only kind you can't give away. There is only one time
-of the year that a person can make presents of things that are good for
-nothing but to give away, and that is at Christmas. Now, I might--”
-
-“Murchison,” I said, laying my tack hammer on the floor and standing up,
-“you don't mean to keep that infernal, howling beast until Christmas, do
-you? If you do, I shall stop putting down this carpet. I shall pull out
-the tacks that are already in and move elsewhere. Why, this is only
-the first of May, and if I have to sleep--if I have to keep awake every
-night and listen to that animated foghorn drag his raw soul over the
-teeth of a rusty harrow--I shall go crazy. Can't you think of some one
-that is going to have a birthday sooner than that?”
-
-“I wish I could,” said Murchison wistfully, “but I can't. I want to get
-rid of Fluff, and so does Brownlee, and so does Massett, but I can't
-think of a way to get rid of him, and neither can they.”
-
-“Murchison,” I said, with some asperity, for I hate a man who trifles,
-“if I really thought you and Brownlee and Massett were as stupid as
-all that, I would be sorry I moved into this neighborhood, but I don't
-believe it. I believe you do not mean to get rid of Fluff. I believe you
-and Brownlee and Massett want to keep him. If you wanted to get rid of
-him, you could do it the same way you got him.”
-
-“That's an excellent idea!” exclaimed Murchison. “That is one of the
-best ideas I ever heard, and I would go and do it if I hadn't done it so
-often already. As soon as Brownlee suggested that idea I did it. I sent
-Fluff by express to a man--to John Smith--at Worcester, Mass., and when
-Fluff came back I had to pay $8.55 charges. But I didn't begrudge the
-money. The trip did Fluff a world of good--it strengthened his voice,
-and made him broader-minded. I tell you,” he said enthusiastically,
-“there's nothing like travel for broadening the mind! Look at Fluff!
-Maybe he don't show it, but that dog's mind is so broadened by travel
-that if he was turned loose in Alaska he would find his way home. When
-I found his mind was getting so tremendously broad I stopped sending him
-to places. Brownlee--Brownlee knows all about dogs--said it would not
-hurt Fluff a bit; he said a dog's mind could not get too broad, and
-that as far as he was concerned he would just like to see once how
-broad-minded a dog could become; he would like to have Fluff sent out
-by express every time he came back. He told me it was an interesting
-experiment--that so far as he knew it had never been tried before--and
-that the thing I ought to do was to keep Fluff traveling all the time.
-He said that so far as he knew it was the only way to get rid of Fluff;
-that some time while he was traveling around in the express car there
-might be a wreck, and we would be rid of Fluff; and if there wasn't a
-wreck, it would be interesting to see what effect constant travel would
-have on a coarse dog. He said I might find after a year or two that I
-had the most cultured dog in the United States. Brownlee was willing to
-have me send Fluff anywhere. He suggested a lot of good places to
-send dogs, but he didn't care enough about dog culture to help pay the
-express charges.”
-
-“I see, Murchison,” I said scornfully, “I see! You are the kind of a man
-who would let a little money stand between you and getting rid of a
-dog like Fluff! If I had a dog like Fluff, nothing in the world could
-prevent me from getting rid of him. I only wish, he was my dog.”
-
-“Take him!” said Murchison generously; “I make you a full and free
-present of him. You can have that dog absolutely and wholly. He is
-yours.”
-
-“I will take the dog,” I said haughtily, “not because I really want a
-dog, nor because I hanker for that particular dog, but because I can see
-that you and Brownlee and Massett have been trifling with him. Bring him
-over in my yard, and I will show you in very short measure how to get
-rid of Fluff.”
-
-That afternoon both Brownlee and Massett called on me. They came and sat
-on my porch steps, and Murchison came and sat with them, and all three
-sat and looked at Fluff and talked him over. Every few minutes
-they would--Brownlee and Massett would--get up and shake hands with
-Murchison, and congratulate him on having gotten rid of Fluff, and
-Murchison would blush modestly and say:
-
-“Oh, that is nothing! I always knew I would get rid of him.” And there
-was the dog not five feet from them, tied to my lawn hydrant. I watched
-and listened to them until I had had enough of it, and then I went into
-the house and got my shotgun. I loaded it with a good BB shell and went
-out.
-
-[Illustration: 62]
-
-Fluff saw me first. I never saw a dog exhibit such intelligence as Fluff
-exhibited right then. I suppose travel had broadened him, and probably
-the hydrant was old and rusted out, anyway. When a man moves into a
-house he ought to have _all_ the plumbing attended to the first thing.
-Any ordinary, unbroadened dog would have lain down and pulled, but Fluff
-didn't. First he jumped six feet straight into the air, and that pulled
-the four feet of hydrant pipe up by the roots, and then he went away.
-He took the hydrant and the pipe with him, and that might have surprised
-me, but I saw that he did not know where he was going nor how long he
-would stay there when he reached the place, and a dog can never tell
-what will come handy when he is away from home. A hydrant and a piece of
-iron pipe might be the very thing he would need. So he took them along.
-
-If I had wanted a fountain in my front yard, I could not have got one
-half as quickly as Fluff furnished that one, and I would never have
-thought of pulling out the hydrant to make me one. Fluff thought of
-that--at least Brownlee said he thought of it--but I think all Fluff
-wanted was to get away. And he got away, and the fountain didn't happen
-to be attached to the hydrant, so he left it behind. If it had been
-attached to the hydrant, he would have taken it with him. He was a
-strong dog.
-
-“There!” said Brownlee, when we had heard the pipe rattle across the
-Eighth Street bridge--“there is intelligence for you! You ought to be
-grateful to that dog all your life. _You_ didn't know it was against
-the law to discharge a gun in the city limits, but Fluff did, and he
-wouldn't wait to see you get into trouble. He has heard us talking about
-it, Murchison. I tell you travel has broadened that dog! Look what he
-has saved you,” he said to me, “by going away at just the psychological
-moment. We should have told you about not firing a gun in the city
-limits. You can't get rid of Fluff that way. It is against the law.”
-
-“Yes,” said Massett; “and if you knew Fluff as well as we do you would
-know that he is a dog you can't shoot. He is a wonderful dog. He knows
-all about guns. Brownlee tried to make a duck dog out of him, and took
-him out where the ducks were--showed him the ducks--shot a gun at the
-ducks--and what do you think that dog learned?”
-
-“To run,” I said, for I had heard about Brownlee teaching Fluff to
-retrieve. Brownlee blushed.
-
-“Yes,” said Massett, “but that wasn't all. It doesn't take intelligence
-to make a dog run when he sees a gun, but Fluff did not run like an
-ordinary dog. He saw the gun and he saw the ducks, and he saw that
-Brownlee only shot at ducks when they were on the wing. And he thought
-Brownlee meant to shoot him, so what does he do? Stand still? No; he
-tries to fly. Gets right up and tries to fly. He thought that was what
-Brownlee was trying to teach him. He couldn't fly, but he did his
-best. So whenever Fluff sees a gun, he is on the wing, so to speak. You
-noticed he was on the wing, didn't you?”
-
-I told him I had noticed it. I said that as far as I could judge, Fluff
-had a good strong wing. I said I didn't mind losing a little thing like
-a hydrant and a length or two of pipe, but I was glad I hadn't fastened
-Fluff to the house--I always liked my house to have a cellar---and it
-would be just like Fluff to stop flying at some place where there wasn't
-any cellar.
-
-“Oh,” said Massett, “he wouldn't have gone far with the house. A house
-is a great deal heavier than a hydrant. He would probably have moved the
-house off the foundation a little, but, judging by the direction Fluff
-took, the house would have wedged between those two trees, and you would
-have only lost a piece of the porch, or whatever he was tied to. But
-the lesson is that you must not try to shoot Fluff unless you are a good
-wing shot. Unless you can shoot like Davy Crockett, you would be apt to
-wound Fluff without killing him, and then there _would_ be trouble!”
-
-“Yes,” said Murchison, “the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals folks.
-There is only one way in which a dog can be killed according to law in
-this place, and that is to have the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
-folks do it. You send them a letter telling them you have a dog you want
-killed, and asking them to come and kill it. That is according to law.”
-
-“That,” I said firmly, “is what I will do.”
-
-“It won't do any good,” said Murchison sadly; “they never come. This
-addition to Gallatin is too far from their offices to be handy, and they
-never come. I have eighteen deaths for Fluff on file at their offices
-already, and not one of them has killed him. When you have had as much
-experience with dogs as I have had you will know that the Prevention
-of Cruelty to them in this town does not include killing them when
-they live in the suburbs. The only way a dog can die in the suburbs of
-Gallatin is to die of old age.”
-
-“How old is Fluff?” I asked.
-
-“Fluff is a young dog,” said Brownlee. “If he had an ordinary dog
-constitution, he would live fifteen years yet, but he hasn't. He has an
-extra strong constitution, and I should say he was good for twenty years
-more. But that isn't what we came over for. We came over to learn how
-you mean to get rid of Fluff.”
-
-“Brownlee,” I said, “I shall think up some way to get rid of Fluff.
-Getting rid of a dog is no task for a mind like mine. But until he
-returns and gives me back my hydrant, I shall do nothing further. I am
-not going to bother about getting rid of a dog that is not here to be
-got rid of.”
-
-By the time Fluff returned I had thought out a plan. Murchison had never
-paid the dog tax on Fluff, and that was the same as condemning him to
-death if he was ever caught outside of the yard, but when he was outside
-he could not be caught. He was a hasty mover, and little things such as
-closed gates never prevented him from entering the yard when in haste.
-When he did not jump over he could get right through a fence. But to
-a man of my ability these things are trifles. I knew how to get rid of
-Fluff. I knew how to have him caught in the street without a license. I
-chained him there.
-
-Brownlee and Massett and Murchison came and watched me do it. Our street
-is not much used, and the big stake I drove in the street was not much
-in the way of passing grocery delivery wagons. I fastened Fluff to
-the stake with a chain, and then I wrote to the city authorities
-and complained. I said there was a dog without a license that was
-continually in front of my house, and I wished it removed; and a week or
-so later the dog-catcher came around and had a look at Fluff: He walked
-all around him while Massett and Brownlee and Murchison and I leaned
-over our gates and looked on. He was not at all what I should have
-expected a dog-catcher to be, being thin and rather gentlemanly in
-appearance; and after he had looked Fluff over well he came over and
-spoke to me. He asked me if Fluff was my dog. I said he was.
-
-“I see!” said the dog-catcher. “And you want to get rid of him. If he
-was my dog, I would want to get rid of him, too. I have seen lots of
-dogs, but I never saw one that was like this, and I do not blame you for
-wanting to part with him. I have had my eye on him for several years,
-but this is the first opportunity I have had to approach him. Now,
-however, he seems to have broken all the dog laws. He has not secured a
-license, and he is in the public highway. It will be my duty to take him
-up and gently chloroform him as soon as I make sure of one thing.”
-
-“Tell me what it is,” I said, “and I will help you make sure of ft.”
-
-“Thank you,” he said, “but I will attend to it,” and with that he got on
-his wagon and drove off. He returned in about an hour.
-
-“I came back,” he said, “not because my legal duty compels me, but
-because I knew you would be anxious. If I owned a dog like that, I would
-be anxious, too. I can't take that dog.”
-
-“Why not?” we all asked.
-
-“Because,” he said, “I have been down to the city hall, and I have
-looked up the records, and I find that the streets of this addition to
-the city have not been accepted by the city. The titles to the property
-are so made out that until the city legally accepts the streets, each
-property owner owns to the middle of the street fronting his property.
-If you will step out and look, you will see that the dog is on your own
-property.”
-
-[Illustration: 72]
-
-“If that is all,” I said, “I will move the stake. I will put him on the
-other side of the street.”
-
-“If you would like him any better there,” said the dog-catcher, “you can
-move him, but it would make no difference to me. Then he would be on the
-private property of the man who owns the property across the street.”
-
-“But, my good man,” I said, “how _is_ a man to get rid of a dog he does
-not want?”
-
-The dog-catcher frowned.
-
-“That,” he said, “seems to be one of the things our lawmakers have not
-thought of. But whatever you do, I advise you to be careful. Do not try
-any underhand methods, for now that my attention has been called to the
-dog, I shall have to watch his future and see that he is not badly used.
-I am an officer of the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals as well as a
-dog-catcher, and I warn you to be careful what you do with that dog.”
-
-Then he got on his wagon again and drove away.
-
-The next morning I was a nervous wreck, for Fluff had howled all night,
-and Murchison came over soon after breakfast. He was accompanied by
-Brownlee and Massett.
-
-“Now, I am the last man in the world to do anything that my neighbors
-would take offense at,” he said, as soon as they were seated on my
-porch, “and Brownlee and Massett love dogs as few men ever love them;
-but something has to be done about Fluff. The time has come when we must
-sleep with our windows open, and neither Massett nor Brownlee nor I got
-a minute of sleep last night.”
-
-“Neither did I,” I said.
-
-“That is different entirely,” said Murchison. “Fluff is your dog, and if
-you want to keep a howling dog, you would be inclined to put up with the
-howl, but we have no interest in the dog at all. We do not own him, and
-we consider him a nuisance. We have decided to ask you to get rid of
-him. It is unjust to your neighbors to keep a howling dog. You will have
-to get rid of Fluff.”
-
-“Exactly!” said Massett. “For ten nights I have not slept a wink, and
-neither has Murchison, nor has Brownlee--”
-
-“Nor I,” I added.
-
-“Exactly!” said Massett. “And four men going without sleep for ten
-nights is equal to one man going without sleep forty nights, which would
-kill any man. Practically, Fluff has killed a man, and is a murderer,
-and as you are responsible for him, it is the same as if you were a
-murderer yourself; and as you were one of the four who did not sleep,
-you may also be said to have committed suicide. But we do not mean to
-give you into the hands of the law until we have remonstrated with you.
-But we feel deeply, and the more so because you could easily give us
-some nights of sleep in which to recuperate.”
-
-“If you can tell me how,” I said, “I will gladly do it. I need sleep
-more at this minute than I ever needed it in my life.”
-
-“Very well,” said Massett; “just get out your shotgun and show it to
-Fluff. When he sees the gun he will run. He will take wings like a
-duck, and while he is away we can get a few nights' rest. That will be
-something. And if we are not in good condition by that time, you can
-show him the shotgun again. Why!” he exclaimed, as he grew enthusiastic
-over his idea, “you can keep Fluff eternally on the wing!”
-
-I felt that I needed a vacation from Fluff. I unchained him and went in
-to get my shotgun. Then I showed him the shotgun, and we had two good
-nights of sleep. After that, whenever we felt that we needed a few
-nights in peace, I just showed Fluff the shotgun and he went away on one
-of his flying trips.
-
-But it was Brownlee--Brownlee knew all about dogs--who first called my
-attention to what he called the periodicity of Fluff.
-
-“Now, you would never have noticed it,” he said one day when Murchison
-and I were sitting on my porch with him, “but I did. That is because I
-have studied dogs. I know all about dogs, and I know Fluff can run. This
-is because he has greyhound blood in him. With a little wolf. That is
-why I studied Fluff, and how I came to notice that every time you show
-him the shotgun he is gone just forty-eight hours. Now, you go and get
-your shotgun and try it.”
-
-So I tried it, and Fluff went away as he always did; and Brownlee sat
-there bragging about how Fluff could run, and about how wonderful he was
-himself to have thought of the periodicity of Fluff.
-
-“Did you see how he went?” he asked enthusiastically. “That gait was a
-thirty-mile-an-hour gait. Why, that dog travels--he travels--” He took
-out a piece of paper and a pencil and figured it out. “In forty-eight
-hours he travels fourteen hundred and forty miles! He gets seven hundred
-and twenty miles from home!”
-
-“It doesn't seem possible,” said Murchison. “No,” said Brownlee frankly,
-“it doesn't.” He went over his figures again. “But that is figured
-correctly,” he said. “If--but maybe I did not gauge his speed correctly.
-And I didn't allow for stopping to turn around at the end of the out
-sprint. What we ought to have on that dog is a pedometer. If I owned a
-dog like that, the first thing I would get would be a pedometer.”
-
-I told Brownlee that if he wished I would give him Fluff, and he could
-put a pedometer, or anything else, on him; but Brownlee remembered he
-had some work to do and went home.
-
-But he was right about the periodicity of Fluff. Almost on the minute at
-the end of forty-eight hours Fluff returned, and Brownlee and Murchison,
-who were there to receive him, were as pleased as if Fluff had been
-going away instead of returning.
-
-“That dog,” said Brownlee, “is a wonderful animal. If Sir Isaac Newton
-had that dog, he would have proved something or other of universal value
-by him. That dog is plumb full of ratios and things, if we only knew how
-to get them out of him. I bet if Sir Isaac Newton had had Fluff as
-long as you have had him he would have had a formula all worked
-out--x/y(2xz-dog)=2(4ab-3x) or something of that kind, so that
-anyone with half a knowledge of algebra could figure out the square root
-of any dog any time of the day or night. I could get up a Law of Dog
-myself if I had the time, with a dog like Fluff to work on. 'If one dog
-travels fourteen hundred and forty miles at the sight of a gun, how far
-would two dogs travel?' All that sort of thing. Stop!” he ejaculated
-suddenly. “If one dog travels forty-eight hours at the sight of one gun,
-how far would he travel at the sight of two guns? Murchison,” he
-cried enthusiastically, “I've got it! I've got the fundamental law of
-periodicity in dogs! Go get your gun,” he said to me, “and I will get
-mine.”
-
-[Illustration: 82]
-
-He stopped at the gate long enough to say:
-
-“I tell you, Murchison, we are on the verge of a mighty important
-discovery--a mighty important discovery! If this thing turns out
-right, we will be at the root of all dog nature. We will have the great
-underlying law of scared dogs.”
-
-He came back with his shotgun carefully hidden behind him, and then he
-and I showed Fluff the two guns simultaneously. For one minute Fluff was
-startled. Then he vanished. All we saw of him as he went was the dust he
-left in his wake. Massett had come over when Brownlee brought over
-his gun, and Murchison and I sat and smoked while Massett and Brownlee
-fought out the periodicity of Fluff. Brownlee said that for two guns
-Fluff would traverse the same distance as for one, but twice as quickly;
-but Massett said Brownlee was foolish, and that anyone who knew anything
-about dogs would know that no dog could go faster than Fluff had gone
-at the sight of one gun. Massett said Fluff would travel at his regular
-one-gun speed, but would travel a two-gun distance. He said Fluff would
-not be back for ninety-six hours. Brownlee said he would be back in
-forty-eight hours, but both agreed that he would travel twenty-eight
-hundred and eighty miles. Then Murchison went home and got a map, and
-showed Brownlee and Massett that if Fluff traveled fourteen hundred
-miles in the direction he had started he would have to do the last two
-hundred miles as a swim, because he would strike the Atlantic Ocean
-at the twelve hundredth mile. But Brownlee just turned up his nose and
-sneered. He said Fluff was no fool, and that when he reached the coast
-he would veer to the north and travel along the beach for two hundred
-miles or so. Then Massett said that he had been thinking about
-Brownlee's theory, and he _knew_ no dog could do what Brownlee said
-Fluff would do--sixty miles an hour. He said he agreed that a dog like
-Fluff could do thirty miles an hour if he did not stop to howl, because
-his howl represented about sixty horse power, but that no dog could ever
-do sixty miles an hour. Then Brownlee got mad and said Massett was a
-born idiot, and that Fluff not only _could_ do sixty miles, but he
-could keep on increasing his speed at the rate of thirty miles per gun
-indefinitely. Then they went home mad, but they agreed to be on hand
-when Fluff returned. But they were not. Fluff came home in twenty-four
-hours, almost to the minute.
-
-When I went over and told Brownlee, he wouldn't believe it at first, but
-when I showed him Fluff, he cheered up and clapped me on the back.
-
-“I tell you,” he exclaimed, “we have made a great discovery. We have
-discovered the law of scared dogs. 'A dog is scared in inverse ratio to
-the number of guns!' Now, it wouldn't be fair to try Fluff again without
-giving him a breathing spell, but to-morrow I will come over, and we
-will try him with four guns. We will work this thing out thoroughly,” he
-said, “before we write to the Academy of Science, or whatever a person
-would write to, so that there will be no mistake. Before we give this
-secret to the world we want to have it complete. We will try Fluff with
-any number of guns, and with pistols and rifles, and if we can get one
-we will try him with a cannon. We will keep at it for years and years.
-You and I will be famous.”
-
-I told Brownlee that if he wanted to experiment for years with Fluff
-he could have him, but that all I wanted was to get rid of him; but
-Brownlee wouldn't hear of that. He said he would buy Fluff of me if he
-was rich enough, but that Fluff was so valuable he couldn't think of
-buying him. He would let me keep him. He said he would be over the next
-day to try Fluff again.
-
-So the next day he and Murchison and Massett came over and held a
-consultation on my porch to decide how many guns they would try on
-Fluff. They could not agree. Massett wanted to try four guns and have
-Fluff absent only half a day, but Brownlee wanted to have me break my
-shotgun in two and try that on Fluff. He said that according to the law
-of scared dogs, a half a gun, working it out by inverse ratio, would
-keep Fluff away for twice as long as one gun, which would be ninety-six
-hours; and while they were arguing it out Fluff came around the house
-unsuspectingly and saw us on the porch. He gave us one startled glance
-and started north by northeast at what Brownlee said was the most
-marvelous rate of speed he ever saw. Then he and Massett got down off
-the porch and looked for guns, but there were none in sight. There
-wasn't anything that looked the least like a gun. Not even a broomstick.
-Brownlee said he knew what was the matter--Fluff was having a little
-practice run to keep in good condition, and would be back in a few
-hours; but, judging by the look he gave us as he went, I thought he
-would be gone longer than that.
-
-I could see that Brownlee was worried, and as day followed day without
-any return of Fluff, Murchison and I tried to cheer him up, showing him
-how much better we all slept while Fluff was away; but it did not cheer
-up poor Brownlee. He had set his faith on that dog, and the dog had
-deceived him. We all became anxious about Brownlee's health--he moped
-around so; and just when we began to be afraid he was going into a
-decline he cheered up, and came over as bright and happy as a man could
-be.
-
-“I told you so!” he exclaimed joyfully, as soon as he was inside my
-gate. “And it makes me ashamed of myself that I didn't think of it the
-moment I saw Fluff start off. You will never see that dog again.”
-
-I told Brownlee that that was good news, anyway, even if it did upset
-his law of scared dogs; but he smiled a superior smile.
-
-“Disprove nothing!” he said. “It proves my law. Didn't I say in the
-first place that the time a dog would be gone was in inverse ratio
-to the number of guns? Well, the inverse ratio to no guns is infinite
-time--that is how long Fluff will be gone; that is how long he will run.
-Why, that dog will never stop running while there is any dog left in
-him. He can't help it--it is the law of scared dogs.”
-
-“Do you mean to say,” I asked him, “that that dog will run on and on
-forever?”
-
-“Exactly!” said Brownlee proudly. “As long as there is a particle of him
-left he will keep on running. That is the law.”
-
-Maybe Brownlee was right. I don't know. But what I would like to know is
-the name of some one who would like a dog that looks like Fluff, and is
-his size, and that howls like him and that answers to his name. A dog of
-that kind returned to Murchison's house a long time before infinity, and
-I would like to get rid of him. Brownlee says it isn't Fluff; that his
-law couldn't be wrong, and that this is merely a dog that resembles
-Fluff. Maybe Brownlee is right, but I would like to know some one that
-wants a dog with a richly melodious voice.
-
-THE END
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of That Pup, by Ellis Parker Butler
-
-*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THAT PUP ***
-
-***** This file should be named 44146-0.txt or 44146-0.zip *****
-This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
- http://www.gutenberg.org/4/4/1/4/44146/
-
-Produced by David Widger
-
-Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
-will be renamed.
-
-Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
-one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
-(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
-permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules,
-set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
-copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
-protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project
-Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
-charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you
-do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
-rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
-such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
-research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
-practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is
-subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
-redistribution.
-
-
-
-*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
-
-THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
-PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
-
-To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
-distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
-(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project
-Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
-Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at
- www.gutenberg.org/license.
-
-
-Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
-electronic works
-
-1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
-electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
-and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
-(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all
-the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
-all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
-If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
-Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
-terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
-entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
-
-1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be
-used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
-agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few
-things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
-even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See
-paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project
-Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
-and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
-works. See paragraph 1.E below.
-
-1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation”
- or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
-Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the
-collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an
-individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
-located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
-copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
-works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
-are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
-Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
-freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
-this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
-the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
-keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
-Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
-
-1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
-what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in
-a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check
-the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
-before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
-creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
-Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning
-the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
-States.
-
-1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
-
-1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
-access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
-whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
-phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project
-Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
-copied or distributed:
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
-
-1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
-from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
-posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
-and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
-or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
-with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the
-work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
-through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
-Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
-1.E.9.
-
-1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
-with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
-must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
-terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked
-to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
-permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
-
-1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
-License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
-work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
-
-1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
-electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
-prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
-active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
-Gutenberg-tm License.
-
-1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
-compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
-word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or
-distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
-“Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version
-posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
-you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
-copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
-request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other
-form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
-License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
-
-1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
-performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
-unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
-
-1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
-access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
-that
-
-- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
- the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
- you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is
- owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
- has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
- Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments
- must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
- prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
- returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
- sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
- address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to
- the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.”
-
-- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
- you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
- does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
- License. You must require such a user to return or
- destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
- and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
- Project Gutenberg-tm works.
-
-- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
- money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
- electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
- of receipt of the work.
-
-- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
- distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
-
-1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
-electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
-forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
-both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
-Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the
-Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
-
-1.F.
-
-1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
-effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
-public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
-collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
-works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
-“Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
-corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
-property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
-computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
-your equipment.
-
-1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right
-of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
-Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
-Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
-Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
-liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
-fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
-LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
-PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
-TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
-LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
-INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
-DAMAGE.
-
-1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
-defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
-receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
-written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you
-received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
-your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with
-the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
-refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
-providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
-receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy
-is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
-opportunities to fix the problem.
-
-1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
-in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER
-WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
-WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
-
-1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
-warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
-If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
-law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
-interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
-the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any
-provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
-
-1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
-trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
-providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
-with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
-promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
-harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
-that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
-or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
-work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
-Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
-
-
-Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
-
-Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
-electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
-including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists
-because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
-people in all walks of life.
-
-Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
-assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
-goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
-remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project
-Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
-and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
-To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
-and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
-and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org
-
-
-Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
-Foundation
-
-The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
-501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
-state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
-Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
-number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
-Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
-permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
-
-The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
-Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
-throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at 809
-North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email
-contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the
-Foundation's web site and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact
-
-For additional contact information:
- Dr. Gregory B. Newby
- Chief Executive and Director
- gbnewby@pglaf.org
-
-Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
-Literary Archive Foundation
-
-Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
-spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
-increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
-freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
-array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations
-($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
-status with the IRS.
-
-The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
-charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
-States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
-considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
-with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations
-where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To
-SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
-particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate
-
-While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
-have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
-against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
-approach us with offers to donate.
-
-International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
-any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
-outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
-
-Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
-methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other
-ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
-To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate
-
-
-Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
-works.
-
-Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
-concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
-with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project
-Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
-
-Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
-editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
-unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily
-keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
-
-Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
-
- www.gutenberg.org
-
-This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
-including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
-Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
-subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
-
diff --git a/old/44146-0.zip b/old/44146-0.zip
deleted file mode 100644
index 0fd2c1d..0000000
--- a/old/44146-0.zip
+++ /dev/null
Binary files differ
diff --git a/old/44146-h.zip b/old/44146-h.zip
deleted file mode 100644
index 673bb75..0000000
--- a/old/44146-h.zip
+++ /dev/null
Binary files differ
diff --git a/old/44146-h/44146-h.htm b/old/44146-h/44146-h.htm
deleted file mode 100644
index 21d4928..0000000
--- a/old/44146-h/44146-h.htm
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,1730 +0,0 @@
-<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
-
-<!DOCTYPE html
- PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN"
- "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" >
-
-<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en">
- <head>
- <title>
- That Pup, by Ellis Parker Butler
- </title>
- <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve">
-
- body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify}
- P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; }
- H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; }
- hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;}
- .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; }
- blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;}
- .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;}
- .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;}
- .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;}
- div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; }
- div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; }
- .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;}
- .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;}
- .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 100%; font-style:normal;
- margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%;
- text-align: right;}
- .side { float: left; font-size: 75%; width: 25%; padding-left: 0.8em;
- border-left: dashed thin; text-align: left;
- text-indent: 0; font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;
- font-weight: bold; color: black; background: #eeeeee; border: solid 1px;}
- pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;}
-
-</style>
- </head>
- <body>
-
-
-<pre>
-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of That Pup, by Ellis Parker Butler
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
-
-
-Title: That Pup
-
-Author: Ellis Parker Butler
-
-Release Date: November 10, 2013 [EBook #44146]
-Last Updated: March 11, 2018
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THAT PUP ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by David Widger
-
-
-
-
-
-</pre>
-
- <div style="height: 8em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h1>
- THAT PUP
- </h1>
- <h2>
- By Ellis Parker Butler
- </h2>
- <h5>
- Author Of Pigs Is Pigs, Kilo, Etc.
- </h5>
- <p>
- <br />
- </p>
- <h4>
- Illustrated
- </h4>
- <p>
- <br /> <br />
- </p>
- <h5>
- New York The McClure Company, MCMVII
- </h5>
- <div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
- <img src="images/frontispiece.jpg" alt="frontispiece" width="100%" /><br />
- </div>
- <div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
- <img src="images/titlepage.jpg" alt="titlepage" width="100%" /><br />
- </div>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <p>
- <b>CONTENTS</b>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> I. THE EDUCATION OF FLUFF </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> II. GETTING RID OF FLUFF </a>
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- I. THE EDUCATION OF FLUFF
- </h2>
- <p>
- Murchison, who lives next door to me, wants to get rid of a dog, and if
- you know of anyone who wants a dog I wish you would let Murchison know.
- Murchison doesn't need it. He is tired of dogs, anyway. That is just like
- Murchison. 'Way up in an enthusiasm one day and sick of it the next.
- </p>
- <p>
- Brownlee&mdash;Brownlee lives on the other side of Murchison&mdash;remembers
- when Murchison got the dog. It was the queerest thing, so Murchison says,
- you ever heard of. Here came the express wagon&mdash;Adams' Express
- Company's wagon&mdash;and delivered the dog. The name was all right&mdash;&ldquo;C.
- P. Murchison, Gallatin, Iowa&rdquo;&mdash;and the charges were paid. The charges
- were $2.80, and paid, and the dog had been shipped from New York. Think of
- that! Twelve hundred miles in a box, with a can of condensed milk tied to
- the box and &ldquo;Please feed&rdquo; written on it.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="linkimage-0001" id="linkimage-0001"> </a>
- </p>
- <div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
- <img src="images/frontispiece.jpg" alt="frontispiece" width="100%" /><br />
- </div>
- <p>
- When Murchison came home to dinner, there was the dog. At first Murchison
- was pleased; then he was surprised; then he was worried. He hadn't ordered
- a dog. The more he thought about it the more he worried.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;If I could just <i>think</i> who sent it,&rdquo; he said to Brownlee, &ldquo;then I
- would know who sent it; but I can't think. It is evidently a valuable dog.
- I can see that. People don't send cheap, inferior dogs twelve hundred
- miles. But I can't <i>think</i> who sent it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What worries me,&rdquo; he said to Brownlee another time, &ldquo;is who sent it. I
- can't <i>imagine</i> who would send me a dog from New York. I know so many
- people, and, like as not, some influential friend of mine has meant to
- make me a nice present, and now he is probably mad because I haven't
- acknowledged it. I'd like to know what he thinks of me about now!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It almost worried him sick. Murchison never did care for dogs, but when a
- man is presented with a valuable dog, all the way from New York, with
- $2.80 charges paid, he simply <i>has</i> to admire that dog. So Murchison
- got into the habit of admiring the dog, and so did Mrs. Murchison. From
- what they tell me, it was rather a nice dog in its infancy, for it was
- only a pup then. Infant dogs have a habit of being pups.
- </p>
- <p>
- As near as I could gather from what Murchison and Mrs. Murchison told me,
- it was a little, fluffy, yellow ball, with bright eyes and ever-moving
- tail. It was the kind of a dog that bounces around like a rubber ball, and
- eats the evening newspaper, and rolls down the porch steps with short,
- little squawks of surprise, and lies down on its back with its four legs
- in the air whenever a bigger dog comes near. In color it was something
- like a camel, but a little redder where the hair was long, and its hair
- was like beaver fur&mdash;soft and woolly inside, with a few long hairs
- that were not so soft. It was so little and fluffy that Mrs. Murchison
- called it Fluff. Pretty name for a soft, little dog is Fluff.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;If I only <i>knew</i> who sent that dog,&rdquo; Murchison used to say to
- Brownlee, &ldquo;I would like to make some return. I'd send him a barrel of my
- best melons, express paid, if it cost me five dollars!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Murchison was in the produce business, and he knew all about melons, but
- not so much about dogs. Of course he could tell a dog from a cat, and a
- few things of that sort, but Brownlee was the real dog man. Brownlee had
- two Irish pointers or setters&mdash;I forget which they were; the black
- dogs with the long, floppy ears. I don't know much about dogs myself. I
- hate dogs.
- </p>
- <p>
- Brownlee knows a great deal about dogs. He isn't one of the book-taught
- sort; he knows dogs by instinct. As soon as he sees a dog he can make a
- guess at its breed, and out our way that is a pretty good test, for
- Gallatin dogs are rather cosmopolitan. That is what makes good stock in
- men&mdash;Scotch grandmother and German grandfather on one side and
- English grandmother and Swedish grandfather on the other&mdash;and I don't
- see why the same isn't true of dogs. There are numbers of dogs in Gallatin
- that can trace their ancestry through nearly every breed of dog that ever
- lived, and Brownlee can look at any one of them and immediately guess at
- its formula&mdash;one part Spitz, three parts greyhound, two parts collie,
- and so on. I have heard him guess more kinds of dog than I ever knew
- existed.
- </p>
- <p>
- As soon as he saw Murchison's dog he guessed it was a pure bred Shepherd
- with a trace of Eskimo. Massett, who thinks he knows as much about dogs as
- Brownlee does, didn't believe it. The moment he saw the pup he said it was
- a pedigree dog, half St. Bernard and half Spitz.
- </p>
- <p>
- Brownlee and Massett used to sit on Murchison's steps after supper and
- point out the proofs to each other. They would argue for hours.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;All right, Massett,&rdquo; Brownlee would say, &ldquo;but you can't fool <i>me</i>. I
- Look at that nose! If that isn't a Shepherd nose, I'll eat it. And see
- that tail! Did you ever see a tail like that on a Spitz? That is an Eskimo
- tail as sure as I am a foot high.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Tail fiddlesticks!&rdquo; Massett would reply. &ldquo;You can't tell anything by a
- pup's tail. Look at his ears! <i>There</i> is St. Bernard for you! And see
- his lower jaw. Isn't that Spitz? I'll leave it to Murchison. Isn't that
- lower jaw Spitz, Murchison?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Then all three would tackle the puppy and open its mouth and feel its jaw,
- and the pup would wriggle and squeak, and back away, opening and shutting
- its mouth to see if its works had been damaged.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;All right!&rdquo; Brownlee would say. &ldquo;You wait a year or two and you'll see!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- About three months later the pup was as big as an ordinary full-grown dog,
- and his coat looked like a compromise between a calfskin and one of these
- hairbrush door mats you use to wipe your feet on in muddy weather. He did
- not look like the same pup. He was long limbed and awkward and useless,
- and homely as a shopworn fifty-cent yellow plush manicure set. Murchison
- began to feel that he didn't really need a dog, but Brownlee was as
- enthusiastic as ever. He would go over to Murchison's fairly oozing dog
- knowledge.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'll tell you what that dog is,&rdquo; he would say. &ldquo;That dog is a cross
- between a Great Dane and an English Deerhound. You've got a very valuable
- dog there, Murchison, a very valuable dog. He comes of fine stock on both
- sides, and it is a cross you don't often see. I never saw it, and I've
- seen all kinds of crossed dogs.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Then Massett would drop in and walk around the dog admiringly for a few
- minutes and absorb his beauties.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Murchison,&rdquo; he would say, &ldquo;do you know what that dog is? That dog is a
- pure cross between a Siberian wolfhound and a Newfoundland. You treat that
- dog right and you'll have a fortune in him. Why, a pure Siberian wolfhound
- is worth a thousand dollars, and a good&mdash;a really good Newfoundland,
- mind you&mdash;is worth two thousand, and you've got both in one dog.
- That's three thousand dollars' worth of dog!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- In the next six months Fluff grew. He broadened out and lengthened and
- heightened, and every day or two Brownlee or Massett would discover a new
- strain of dog in him. They pointed out to Murchison all the marks by which
- he could tell the different kinds of dog that were combined in Fluff, and
- every time they discovered a new one they held a sort of jubilee, and
- bragged and swelled their chests. They seemed to spend all their time
- thinking up odd and strange kinds of dog that Fluff had in him. Brownlee
- discovered the traces of Cuban bloodhound, Kamtchatka hound, beagle,
- Brague de Bengale, and Thibet mastiff, but Massett first traced the
- stag-hound, Turkoman watchdog, Dachshund, and Harrier in him.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="linkimage-0002" id="linkimage-0002"> </a>
- </p>
- <div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
- <img src="images/26.jpg" alt="26" width="100%" /><br />
- </div>
- <p>
- Murchison, not being a doggish man, never claimed to have noticed any of
- these family resemblances, and never said what he thought the dog really
- was until a month or two later, when he gave it as his opinion that the
- dog was a cross between a wolf, a Shetland pony, and hyena. It was about
- that time that Fluff had to be chained. He had begun to eat other dogs,
- and children and chickens. The first night Murchison chained him to his
- kennel Fluff walked half a mile, taking the kennel along, and then only
- stopped because the kennel got tangled with a lamp-post. The man who
- brought him home claimed that Fluff was nearly asphyxiated when he found
- him; said he gnawed half through the lamp-post, and that gas got in his
- lungs, but this was not true. Murchison learned afterwards that it was
- only a gasoline lamp-post, and a wooden one.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;If there were only some stags around this part of the country,&rdquo; said
- Massett, &ldquo;the stag-hound strain in that dog would be mighty valuable. You
- could rent him out to everybody who wanted to go stag hunting; and you'd
- have a regular monopoly, because he's the only staghound in this part of
- the country. And stag hunting would be popular, too, out here, because
- there are no game laws that interfere with stag hunting in this State.
- There is no closed season. People could hunt stags all the year round, and
- you'd have that dog busy every day of the year.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes!&rdquo; sneered Brownlee, &ldquo;only there are no stags. And he hasn't any
- staghound blood in him. Pity there are no Dachs in this State, too, isn't
- it? Then Murchison could hire his dog at night, too. They hunt Dachs at
- night, don't they, Massett? Only there is no Dachshund blood in him,
- either. If there was, and if there were a few Dachs-&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Massett was mad.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes!&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;And you, with your Cuban bloodhound strain! I suppose if
- it was the open season for Cubans, you'd go out with the dog and tree a
- few! Or put on snowshoes and follow the Kamtchat to his icy lair!&rdquo;
- Brownlee doesn't get mad easily.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Murchison,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;leaving out Mas-sett's dreary nonsense about
- staghounds, I can tell you that dog would make the finest duck dog in the
- State. He's got all the points for a good duck dog, and I ought to know
- for I have two of the best duck dogs that ever lived. All he needs is
- training. If you will train him right you'll have a mighty valuable dog.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I don't hunt ducks,&rdquo; said Murchison, &ldquo;and I don't know how to train
- even a lap-dog.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You let me attend to his education,&rdquo; said Brownlee. &ldquo;I just want to show
- Massett here that I know a dog when I see one. I'll show Massett the
- finest duck dog he ever saw when I get through with Fluff.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- So he went over and got his shotgun, just to give Fluff his first lesson.
- The first thing a duck dog must learn is not to be afraid of a gun, and
- Brownlee said that if a dog first learned about guns right at his home he
- was not so apt to be afraid of them. He said that if a dog heard a gun for
- the first time when he was away from home and in strange surroundings he
- was quite right to be surprised and startled, but if he heard it in the
- bosom of his family, with all his friends calmly seated about, he would
- think it was a natural thing, and accept it as such.
- </p>
- <p>
- So Brownlee put a shell in his gun and Mas-sett and Murchison sat on the
- porch steps and pretended to be uninterested and normal, and Brownlee
- stood up and aimed the gun in the air. Fluff was eating a bone, but
- Brownlee spoke to him and he looked up, and Brownlee pulled the trigger.
- It seemed about five minutes before Fluff struck the ground, he jumped so
- high when the gun was fired, and then he started north by northeast at
- about sixty miles an hour. He came back all right, three weeks later, but
- his tail was still between his legs.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="linkimage-0003" id="linkimage-0003"> </a>
- </p>
- <div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
- <img src="images/32.jpg" alt="32" width="100%" /><br />
- </div>
- <p>
- Brownlee didn't feel the least discouraged. He said he saw now that the
- whole principle of what he had done was wrong; that no dog with any brains
- whatever could be anything but frightened to hear a gun shot off right in
- the bosom of his family. That was no place to fire a gun. He said Fluff
- evidently thought the whole lot of us were crazy, and ran in fear of his
- life, thinking we were insane and might shoot him next. He said the thing
- to do was to take the shotgun into its natural surroundings and let Fluff
- learn to love it there. He pictured Fluff enjoying the sound of the gun
- when he heard it at the edge of the lake.
- </p>
- <p>
- Murchison never hunted ducks, but as Fluff was his dog, he went with
- Brownlee, and of course Massett went. Massett wanted to see the failure.
- He said he wished stags were as plentiful as ducks, and he would show
- Brownlee!
- </p>
- <p>
- Fluff was a strong dog&mdash;he seemed to have a strain of ox in him, so
- far as strength went&mdash;and as long as he saw the gun he insisted that
- he would stay at home; but when Brownlee wrapped the gun in brown paper so
- it looked like a big parcel from the meat shop, the horse that they had
- hitched to the buck-board was able to drag Fluff along without straining
- itself. Fluff was fastened to the rear axle with a chain.
- </p>
- <p>
- When they reached Duck Lake, Brownlee untied Fluff and patted him, and
- then unwrapped the gun. Fluff gave one pained glance and made the six-mile
- run home in seven minutes without stopping. He was home before Brownlee
- could think of anything to say, and he went so far into his kennel that
- Murchison had to take off the boards at the back to find him that night.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That's nothing,&rdquo; was what Brownlee said when he did speak; &ldquo;young dogs
- are often that way. Gun fright. They have to be gun broken. You come out
- to-morrow, and I'll show you how a man who really knows how to handle a
- dog does the trick.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The next day, when Fluff saw the buck-board he went into his kennel, and
- they couldn't pry him out with the hoe-handle. He connected buckboards and
- guns in his mind, so Brownlee borrowed the butcher's delivery wagon, and
- they drove to Wild Lake. It was seven miles, but Fluff seemed more willing
- to go in that direction than toward Duck Lake. He did not seem to care to
- go to Duck Lake at all.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Now, then,&rdquo; said Brownlee, &ldquo;I'll show you the intelligent way to handle a
- dog. I'll prove to him that he has nothing to fear, that I am his comrade
- and friend. And at the same time,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I'll not have him running off
- home and spoiling our day's sport.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- So he took the chain and fastened it around his waist, and then he sat
- down and talked to Fluff like an old friend, and got him in a playful
- mood. Then he had Murchison get the gun out of the wagon and lay it on the
- ground about twenty feet off. It was wrapped in brown paper.
- </p>
- <p>
- Brownlee talked to Fluff and told him what fine sport duck hunting is, and
- then, as if by chance, he got on his hands and knees and crawled toward
- the gun. Fluff hung back a little, but the chain just coaxed him a little,
- too, and they edged up to the gun, and Brownlee pretended to discover it
- unexpectedly.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, well!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;What's this?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Fluff nosed up to it and sniffed it, and then went at it as if it was
- Massett's cat. That Brownlee had wrapped a beefsteak around the gun,
- inside the paper, and Fluff tore off the paper and ate the steak, and
- Brownlee winked at Murchison.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I declare,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;if here isn't a gun! Look at this, Fluff&mdash;a
- gun! Gosh! but we are in luck!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Would you believe it, that dog sniffed at the gun, and did not fear it in
- the least? You could have hit him on the head with it and he would not
- have minded it. He never did mind being hit with small things like guns
- and ax handles.
- </p>
- <p>
- Brownlee got up and stood erect.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You see!&rdquo; he said proudly. &ldquo;All a man needs with a dog like this is
- intelligence. A dog is like a horse. He wants his reason appealed to. Now,
- if I fire the gun, he may be a little startled, but I have created a faith
- in me in him. He knows there is nothing dangerous in a gun <i>as</i> a
- gun. He knows I am not afraid of it, so he is not afraid. He realizes that
- we are chained together, and that proves to him that he need not run
- unless I run. Now watch.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Brownlee fired the shotgun.
- </p>
- <p>
- Instantly he started for home. He did not start lazily, like a boy
- starting to the wood pile, but went promptly and with a dash. His first
- jump was only ten feet, and we heard him grunt as he landed, but after
- that he got into his stride and made fourteen feet each jump. He was bent
- forward a good deal in the middle, where the chain was, and in many ways
- he was not as graceful as a professional cinder-path track runner, but, in
- running, the main thing is to cover the ground rapidly. Brownlee did that.
- </p>
- <p>
- Massett said it was a bad start. He said it was all right to start a
- hundred-yard dash that way, but for a long-distance run&mdash;a run of
- seven miles across country&mdash;the start was too impetuous; that it
- showed a lack of generalship, and that when it came to the finish the
- affair would be tame; but it wasn't.
- </p>
- <p>
- Brownlee said afterwards that there wasn't a tame moment in the entire
- seven miles. It was rather more wild than tame. He felt right from the
- start that the finish would be sensational, unless the chain cut him quite
- in two, and it didn't. He said that when the chain had cut as far as his
- spinal column it could go no farther, and it stopped and clung there, but
- it was the only thing that did stop, except his breath. It was several
- years later that I first met Brownlee, and he was still breathing hard,
- like a man who has just been running rapidly. Brownlee says when he shuts
- his eyes his legs still seem to be going.
- </p>
- <p>
- The first mile was through underbrush, and that was lucky, for the
- underbrush removed most of Brownlee's clothing, and put him in better
- running weight, but at the mile and a quarter they struck the road. He
- said at two miles he thought he might be overexercising the dog and maybe
- he had better stop, but the dog seemed anxious to get home so he didn't
- stop there. He said that at three miles he was sure the dog was overdoing,
- and that with his knowledge of dogs he was perfectly able to stop a
- running dog in its own length if he could speak to it, but he couldn't
- speak to this dog for two reasons. One was that he couldn't overtake the
- dog and the other was that all the speak was yanked out of him.
- </p>
- <p>
- When they reached five miles the dog seemed to think they were taking too
- much time to get home, and let out a few more laps of speed, and it was
- right there that Brownlee decided that Fluff had some greyhound blood in
- him.
- </p>
- <p>
- He said that when they reached town he felt as if he would have been glad
- to stop at his own house and lie down for awhile, but the dog didn't want
- to, and so they went on; but that he ought to be thankful that the dog was
- willing to stop at that town at all. The next town was twelve miles
- farther on, and the roads were bad. But the dog turned into Murchison's
- yard and went right into his kennel.
- </p>
- <p>
- When Murchison and Massett got home, an hour or so later, after driving
- the horse all the way at a gallop, they found old Gregg, the carpenter,
- prying the roof off the kennel. You see, Murchison had knocked the rear
- out of the kennel the day before, and so when the dog aimed for the front
- he went straight through, and as Brownlee was built more perpendicular
- than the dog, Brownlee didn't go quite through. He went in something like
- doubling up a dollar bill to put it into a thimble. I don't suppose anyone
- would want to double up a dollar bill to put it into a thimble, but
- neither did Brownlee want to be doubled up and put into the kennel. It was
- the dog's thought. So they had to take the kennel roof off.
- </p>
- <p>
- When they got Brownlee out they laid him on the grass, and covered him up
- with a porch rug, and let him lie there a couple of hours to pant, for
- that seemed what he wanted to do just then. It was the longest period
- Brownlee ever spent awake without talking about dog.
- </p>
- <p>
- Murchison and Massett and old Gregg and twenty-six informal guests stood
- around and gazed at Brownlee panting. Presently Brownlee was able to gasp
- out a few words.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Murchison,&rdquo; he gasped, &ldquo;Murchison, if you just had that dog in Florence&mdash;or
- wherever it is they race dogs&mdash;you'd have a fortune.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He panted awhile, and then gasped out:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He's a great runner; a phenomenal runner!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He had to pant more, and then he gasped with pride:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I wasn't three feet behind him all the way!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- II. GETTING RID OF FLUFF
- </h2>
- <p>
- So after that Murchison decided to get rid of Fluff. He told me that he
- had never really-wanted a dog, anyway, but that when a dog is sent, all
- the way from New York, anonymously, with $2.80 charges paid, it is hard to
- cast the dog out into the cold world without giving it a trial. So
- Murchison tried the dog for a few more years, and at last he decided he
- would have to get rid of him. He came over and spoke to me about it,
- because I had just moved in next door.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Do you like dogs?&rdquo; he asked, and that was the first word of conversation
- I ever had with Murchison. I told him frankly that I did not like dogs,
- and that my wife did not like them, and Murchison seemed more pleased than
- if I had offered him a thousand dollars.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Now, I am glad of that,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;for Mrs. Murchison and I hate dogs. If
- you do not like dogs, I will get rid of Fluff. I made up my mind several
- years ago to get rid of Fluff, but when I heard you were going to move
- into this house, I decided not to get rid of him until I knew whether you
- liked dogs or not. I told Mrs. Murchison that if we got rid of Fluff
- before you came, and then found that you loved dogs and owned one, you
- might take our getting rid of Fluff as a hint that your dog was
- distasteful to us, and it might hurt your feelings. And Mrs. Murchison
- said that if you had a dog, your dog might feel lonely in a strange place
- and might like to have Fluff to play with until your dog got used to the
- neighborhood. So we did not get rid of him; but if you do not like dogs we
- will get rid of him right away.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I told Murchison that I saw he was the kind of a neighbor a man liked to
- have, and that it was kind of him to offer to get rid of Fluff, but that
- he mustn't do so just on our account.
- </p>
- <p>
- I said that if he wanted to keep the dog, he had better do so.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Now, that is kind of you,&rdquo; said Murchison, &ldquo;but we would really rather
- get rid of him. I decided several years ago that I would get rid of him,
- but Brownlee likes dogs, and took an interest in Fluff, and wanted to make
- a bird dog of him, so we kept Fluff for his sake. But now Brownlee is
- tired of making a bird dog of him. He says Fluff is too strong to make a
- good bird dog, and not strong enough to rent out as a horse, and he is
- willing I should get rid of him. He says he is anxious for me to get rid
- of him as soon as I can.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- When I saw Fluff I agreed with Brownlee. At the first glance I saw that
- Fluff was a failure as a dog, and that to make a good camel he needed a
- shorter neck and more hump, but he had the general appearance of an
- amateur camel. He looked as if some one who had never seen a dog, but had
- heard of one, had started out to make a dog, and got to thinking of a
- camel every once in a while, and had tried to show me Fluff that day
- worked in parts of what he thought a camel was like with what he thought a
- dog was like, and then&mdash;when the job was about done&mdash;had decided
- it was a failure, and had just finished it up any way, sticking on the
- meanest and cheapest hair he could find, and getting most of it on wrong
- side to.
- </p>
- <p>
- But the cheap hair did not matter much. Murchison and Brownlee showed me
- the place where Fluff had worn most of it off the ridge pole of his back
- crawling under the porch. He tried to show me Fluff that day, but it was
- so dark under the porch that I could not tell which was Fluff and which
- was simply underneathness of porch. But from what Brownlee told me that
- day, I knew that Fluff had suffered a permanent dislocation of the
- spirits. He told me he had taken Fluff out to make a duck dog of him, and
- that all the duck Fluff was interested in was to duck when he saw a gun,
- and that after he had heard a gun fired once or twice he had become sad
- and dejected, and had acquired a permanently ingrowing tail, and an
- expression of face like a coyote, but more mournful. He had acquired a
- habit of carrying his head down and forward, as if he was about to lay it
- on the headsman's block, and knew he deserved that and more, and the
- sooner it was over the better. He couldn't even scratch fleas correctly.
- Brownlee said that when he met a flea in the road he would not even go
- around it, but would stoop down like a camel to let the flea get aboard.
- He was that kind of a dog. He was the most discouraged dog I ever knew.
- </p>
- <div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
- <img src="images/46.jpg" alt="46" width="100%" /><br />
- </div>
- <p>
- The next day I was putting down the carpet in the back bedroom, when in
- came Murchison.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I came over to speak to you about Fluff,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I am afraid he must
- have annoyed you last night. I suppose you heard him howl?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes, Murchison,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I did hear him. I never knew a dog could howl
- so loud and long as that. He must have been very ill.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, no!&rdquo; said Murchison cheerfully. &ldquo;That is the way he always howls.
- That is one of the reasons I have decided to get rid of Fluff. But it is a
- great deal worse for us than it is for you. The air inlet of our furnace
- is at the side of the house just where Fluff puts his head when he howls,
- and the register in our room is right at the head of our bed. So his howl
- goes in at the inlet and down through the furnace and up the furnace
- pipes, and is delivered right in our room, just as clear and strong as if
- he was in the room. That is one reason I have fully decided to get rid of
- Fluff. It would not be so bad if we had only one register in our house,
- but we have ten, and when Fluff howls, his voice is delivered by all ten
- registers, so it is just as if we had ten Fluffs in the house at one time.
- And ten howls like Fluff's are too much. Even Brownlee says so.&rdquo; I told
- Murchison that I agreed with Brownlee perfectly. Fluff had a bad howl. It
- sounded as if Cruel Fate, with spikes in his shoes, had stepped on Fluff's
- inmost soul, and then jogged up and down on the tenderest spot, and Fluff
- was trying to reproduce his feelings in vocal exercises. It sounded like a
- cheap phonograph giving a symphony in the key of woe minor, with a
- megaphone attachment and bad places in the record. Judging by his voice,
- the machine needed a new needle. But the megaphone attachment was all
- right.
- </p>
- <p>
- Brownlee&mdash;who knows all about dogs&mdash;said that he knew what was
- the matter with Fluff. He said Fluff had a very high-grade musical
- temperament, and that he longed to be the Caruso of dogs. He said that he
- could see that all through his bright and hopeful puppyhood he had looked
- forward to being a great singer, with a Wagner repertoire and tremolo
- stops in his song organ, and that he had early set his aim at perfection.
- He said Fluff was that kind of a dog, and that when he saw what his voice
- had turned out to be he was dissatisfied, and became morbid. He said that
- any dog that had a voice like Fluff's had a right to be dissatisfied with
- it&mdash;he would be dissatisfied himself with that voice. He said he did
- not wonder that Fluff slunk around all day, feeling he was no good on
- earth, and that he could understand that when night came and everything
- was still, so that Fluff could judge of the purity of his tonal quality
- better, he would pull out his voice, and tune it up and look it over and
- try it again, hoping it had improved since he tried it last. Brownlee said
- it never had improved, and that was what made Fluff's howl so mournful&mdash;it
- was full of tears. He said Fluff would go to G flat and B flat and D flat,
- and so on until he struck a note he felt he was pretty good at, and then
- he would cling to that note and weep it full of tears.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="linkimage-0005" id="linkimage-0005"> </a>
- </p>
- <div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
- <img src="images/52.jpg" alt="52" width="100%" /><br />
- </div>
- <p>
- He asked Murchison if he hadn't noticed that the howl was sort of damp and
- salty from the tears, but Murchison said he hadn't noticed the dampness.
- He said it probably got dried out of the howl before it readied him,
- coming through the furnace. Then Brownlee said that if there was only some
- way of regulating Fluff, so that he could be turned on and off, Murchison
- would have a fortune in him: he could turn his howl off when people wanted
- to be cheerful, and then, when a time of great national woe occurred,
- Murchison could turn Fluff on and set him going. He said he never heard
- anything in his life that came so near expressing in sound a great
- national woe as Fluff's howl did. He said Fluff might lack finish in tonal
- quality, but that in woe quality he was a master: he was stuffed so full
- of woe quality that it oozed out of his pores. He said he always thought
- what a pity it was for dogs like Fluff that people preferred cheerful
- songs like &ldquo;Annie Rooney&rdquo; and &ldquo;Waltz me around again, Willie&rdquo; to the
- nobler woe operas. He said he had tried to like good music himself, but it
- was no use: whenever he heard Fluff sing, he felt that Murchison ought to
- get rid of Fluff. Then Murchison said that was just what he was going to
- do. What he wanted to talk about was how to get rid of Fluff.
- </p>
- <p>
- But I am getting too far ahead of my story. Whenever I get to talking
- about the howl of Fluff, I find I wander on for hours at a time.
- </p>
- <p>
- It takes hours of talk to explain just what a mean howl Fluff had.
- </p>
- <p>
- But as I was saying, Murchison came over while I was putting down the
- carpet in my back bedroom, and told me he had fully decided to get rid of
- Fluff.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I have fully decided to get rid of him,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;and the only thing
- that bothers me is how to get rid of him.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Give him away,&rdquo; I suggested.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That's a good idea!&rdquo; said Murchison gratefully. &ldquo;That's the very idea
- that occurred to me when I first thought of getting rid of Fluff. It is an
- idea that just matches Fluff all over. That is just the kind of dog Fluff
- is. If ever a dog was made to give away, Fluff was made for it. The more I
- think about him and look at him and study him, the surer I am that the
- only thing he is good for is to give away.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Then he shook his head and sighed.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The only trouble,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;is that Fluff <i>is</i> the give-away kind
- of dog. That is the only kind you can't give away. There is only one time
- of the year that a person can make presents of things that are good for
- nothing but to give away, and that is at Christmas. Now, I might&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Murchison,&rdquo; I said, laying my tack hammer on the floor and standing up,
- &ldquo;you don't mean to keep that infernal, howling beast until Christmas, do
- you? If you do, I shall stop putting down this carpet. I shall pull out
- the tacks that are already in and move elsewhere. Why, this is only the
- first of May, and if I have to sleep&mdash;if I have to keep awake every
- night and listen to that animated foghorn drag his raw soul over the teeth
- of a rusty harrow&mdash;I shall go crazy. Can't you think of some one that
- is going to have a birthday sooner than that?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I wish I could,&rdquo; said Murchison wistfully, &ldquo;but I can't. I want to get
- rid of Fluff, and so does Brownlee, and so does Massett, but I can't think
- of a way to get rid of him, and neither can they.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Murchison,&rdquo; I said, with some asperity, for I hate a man who trifles, &ldquo;if
- I really thought you and Brownlee and Massett were as stupid as all that,
- I would be sorry I moved into this neighborhood, but I don't believe it. I
- believe you do not mean to get rid of Fluff. I believe you and Brownlee
- and Massett want to keep him. If you wanted to get rid of him, you could
- do it the same way you got him.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That's an excellent idea!&rdquo; exclaimed Murchison. &ldquo;That is one of the best
- ideas I ever heard, and I would go and do it if I hadn't done it so often
- already. As soon as Brownlee suggested that idea I did it. I sent Fluff by
- express to a man&mdash;to John Smith&mdash;at Worcester, Mass., and when
- Fluff came back I had to pay $8.55 charges. But I didn't begrudge the
- money. The trip did Fluff a world of good&mdash;it strengthened his voice,
- and made him broader-minded. I tell you,&rdquo; he said enthusiastically,
- &ldquo;there's nothing like travel for broadening the mind! Look at Fluff! Maybe
- he don't show it, but that dog's mind is so broadened by travel that if he
- was turned loose in Alaska he would find his way home. When I found his
- mind was getting so tremendously broad I stopped sending him to places.
- Brownlee&mdash;Brownlee knows all about dogs&mdash;said it would not hurt
- Fluff a bit; he said a dog's mind could not get too broad, and that as far
- as he was concerned he would just like to see once how broad-minded a dog
- could become; he would like to have Fluff sent out by express every time
- he came back. He told me it was an interesting experiment&mdash;that so
- far as he knew it had never been tried before&mdash;and that the thing I
- ought to do was to keep Fluff traveling all the time. He said that so far
- as he knew it was the only way to get rid of Fluff; that some time while
- he was traveling around in the express car there might be a wreck, and we
- would be rid of Fluff; and if there wasn't a wreck, it would be
- interesting to see what effect constant travel would have on a coarse dog.
- He said I might find after a year or two that I had the most cultured dog
- in the United States. Brownlee was willing to have me send Fluff anywhere.
- He suggested a lot of good places to send dogs, but he didn't care enough
- about dog culture to help pay the express charges.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I see, Murchison,&rdquo; I said scornfully, &ldquo;I see! You are the kind of a man
- who would let a little money stand between you and getting rid of a dog
- like Fluff! If I had a dog like Fluff, nothing in the world could prevent
- me from getting rid of him. I only wish, he was my dog.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Take him!&rdquo; said Murchison generously; &ldquo;I make you a full and free present
- of him. You can have that dog absolutely and wholly. He is yours.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I will take the dog,&rdquo; I said haughtily, &ldquo;not because I really want a dog,
- nor because I hanker for that particular dog, but because I can see that
- you and Brownlee and Massett have been trifling with him. Bring him over
- in my yard, and I will show you in very short measure how to get rid of
- Fluff.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- That afternoon both Brownlee and Massett called on me. They came and sat
- on my porch steps, and Murchison came and sat with them, and all three sat
- and looked at Fluff and talked him over. Every few minutes they would&mdash;Brownlee
- and Massett would&mdash;get up and shake hands with Murchison, and
- congratulate him on having gotten rid of Fluff, and Murchison would blush
- modestly and say:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, that is nothing! I always knew I would get rid of him.&rdquo; And there was
- the dog not five feet from them, tied to my lawn hydrant. I watched and
- listened to them until I had had enough of it, and then I went into the
- house and got my shotgun. I loaded it with a good BB shell and went out.
- </p>
- <div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
- <img src="images/62.jpg" alt="62" width="100%" /><br />
- </div>
- <p>
- Fluff saw me first. I never saw a dog exhibit such intelligence as Fluff
- exhibited right then. I suppose travel had broadened him, and probably the
- hydrant was old and rusted out, anyway. When a man moves into a house he
- ought to have <i>all</i> the plumbing attended to the first thing. Any
- ordinary, unbroadened dog would have lain down and pulled, but Fluff
- didn't. First he jumped six feet straight into the air, and that pulled
- the four feet of hydrant pipe up by the roots, and then he went away. He
- took the hydrant and the pipe with him, and that might have surprised me,
- but I saw that he did not know where he was going nor how long he would
- stay there when he reached the place, and a dog can never tell what will
- come handy when he is away from home. A hydrant and a piece of iron pipe
- might be the very thing he would need. So he took them along.
- </p>
- <p>
- If I had wanted a fountain in my front yard, I could not have got one half
- as quickly as Fluff furnished that one, and I would never have thought of
- pulling out the hydrant to make me one. Fluff thought of that&mdash;at
- least Brownlee said he thought of it&mdash;but I think all Fluff wanted
- was to get away. And he got away, and the fountain didn't happen to be
- attached to the hydrant, so he left it behind. If it had been attached to
- the hydrant, he would have taken it with him. He was a strong dog.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;There!&rdquo; said Brownlee, when we had heard the pipe rattle across the
- Eighth Street bridge&mdash;&ldquo;there is intelligence for you! You ought to be
- grateful to that dog all your life. <i>You</i> didn't know it was against
- the law to discharge a gun in the city limits, but Fluff did, and he
- wouldn't wait to see you get into trouble. He has heard us talking about
- it, Murchison. I tell you travel has broadened that dog! Look what he has
- saved you,&rdquo; he said to me, &ldquo;by going away at just the psychological
- moment. We should have told you about not firing a gun in the city limits.
- You can't get rid of Fluff that way. It is against the law.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said Massett; &ldquo;and if you knew Fluff as well as we do you would
- know that he is a dog you can't shoot. He is a wonderful dog. He knows all
- about guns. Brownlee tried to make a duck dog out of him, and took him out
- where the ducks were&mdash;showed him the ducks&mdash;shot a gun at the
- ducks&mdash;and what do you think that dog learned?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;To run,&rdquo; I said, for I had heard about Brownlee teaching Fluff to
- retrieve. Brownlee blushed.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said Massett, &ldquo;but that wasn't all. It doesn't take intelligence to
- make a dog run when he sees a gun, but Fluff did not run like an ordinary
- dog. He saw the gun and he saw the ducks, and he saw that Brownlee only
- shot at ducks when they were on the wing. And he thought Brownlee meant to
- shoot him, so what does he do? Stand still? No; he tries to fly. Gets
- right up and tries to fly. He thought that was what Brownlee was trying to
- teach him. He couldn't fly, but he did his best. So whenever Fluff sees a
- gun, he is on the wing, so to speak. You noticed he was on the wing,
- didn't you?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I told him I had noticed it. I said that as far as I could judge, Fluff
- had a good strong wing. I said I didn't mind losing a little thing like a
- hydrant and a length or two of pipe, but I was glad I hadn't fastened
- Fluff to the house&mdash;I always liked my house to have a cellar&mdash;-and
- it would be just like Fluff to stop flying at some place where there
- wasn't any cellar.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh,&rdquo; said Massett, &ldquo;he wouldn't have gone far with the house. A house is
- a great deal heavier than a hydrant. He would probably have moved the
- house off the foundation a little, but, judging by the direction Fluff
- took, the house would have wedged between those two trees, and you would
- have only lost a piece of the porch, or whatever he was tied to. But the
- lesson is that you must not try to shoot Fluff unless you are a good wing
- shot. Unless you can shoot like Davy Crockett, you would be apt to wound
- Fluff without killing him, and then there <i>would</i> be trouble!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said Murchison, &ldquo;the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals folks. There
- is only one way in which a dog can be killed according to law in this
- place, and that is to have the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals folks do
- it. You send them a letter telling them you have a dog you want killed,
- and asking them to come and kill it. That is according to law.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That,&rdquo; I said firmly, &ldquo;is what I will do.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It won't do any good,&rdquo; said Murchison sadly; &ldquo;they never come. This
- addition to Gallatin is too far from their offices to be handy, and they
- never come. I have eighteen deaths for Fluff on file at their offices
- already, and not one of them has killed him. When you have had as much
- experience with dogs as I have had you will know that the Prevention of
- Cruelty to them in this town does not include killing them when they live
- in the suburbs. The only way a dog can die in the suburbs of Gallatin is
- to die of old age.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;How old is Fluff?&rdquo; I asked.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Fluff is a young dog,&rdquo; said Brownlee. &ldquo;If he had an ordinary dog
- constitution, he would live fifteen years yet, but he hasn't. He has an
- extra strong constitution, and I should say he was good for twenty years
- more. But that isn't what we came over for. We came over to learn how you
- mean to get rid of Fluff.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Brownlee,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I shall think up some way to get rid of Fluff.
- Getting rid of a dog is no task for a mind like mine. But until he returns
- and gives me back my hydrant, I shall do nothing further. I am not going
- to bother about getting rid of a dog that is not here to be got rid of.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- By the time Fluff returned I had thought out a plan. Murchison had never
- paid the dog tax on Fluff, and that was the same as condemning him to
- death if he was ever caught outside of the yard, but when he was outside
- he could not be caught. He was a hasty mover, and little things such as
- closed gates never prevented him from entering the yard when in haste.
- When he did not jump over he could get right through a fence. But to a man
- of my ability these things are trifles. I knew how to get rid of Fluff. I
- knew how to have him caught in the street without a license. I chained him
- there.
- </p>
- <p>
- Brownlee and Massett and Murchison came and watched me do it. Our street
- is not much used, and the big stake I drove in the street was not much in
- the way of passing grocery delivery wagons. I fastened Fluff to the stake
- with a chain, and then I wrote to the city authorities and complained. I
- said there was a dog without a license that was continually in front of my
- house, and I wished it removed; and a week or so later the dog-catcher
- came around and had a look at Fluff: He walked all around him while
- Massett and Brownlee and Murchison and I leaned over our gates and looked
- on. He was not at all what I should have expected a dog-catcher to be,
- being thin and rather gentlemanly in appearance; and after he had looked
- Fluff over well he came over and spoke to me. He asked me if Fluff was my
- dog. I said he was.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I see!&rdquo; said the dog-catcher. &ldquo;And you want to get rid of him. If he was
- my dog, I would want to get rid of him, too. I have seen lots of dogs, but
- I never saw one that was like this, and I do not blame you for wanting to
- part with him. I have had my eye on him for several years, but this is the
- first opportunity I have had to approach him. Now, however, he seems to
- have broken all the dog laws. He has not secured a license, and he is in
- the public highway. It will be my duty to take him up and gently
- chloroform him as soon as I make sure of one thing.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Tell me what it is,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;and I will help you make sure of ft.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Thank you,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;but I will attend to it,&rdquo; and with that he got on
- his wagon and drove off. He returned in about an hour.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I came back,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;not because my legal duty compels me, but because
- I knew you would be anxious. If I owned a dog like that, I would be
- anxious, too. I can't take that dog.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why not?&rdquo; we all asked.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Because,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I have been down to the city hall, and I have looked
- up the records, and I find that the streets of this addition to the city
- have not been accepted by the city. The titles to the property are so made
- out that until the city legally accepts the streets, each property owner
- owns to the middle of the street fronting his property. If you will step
- out and look, you will see that the dog is on your own property.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="linkimage-0007" id="linkimage-0007"> </a>
- </p>
- <div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
- <img src="images/72.jpg" alt="72" width="100%" /><br />
- </div>
- <p>
- &ldquo;If that is all,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I will move the stake. I will put him on the
- other side of the street.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;If you would like him any better there,&rdquo; said the dog-catcher, &ldquo;you can
- move him, but it would make no difference to me. Then he would be on the
- private property of the man who owns the property across the street.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But, my good man,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;how <i>is</i> a man to get rid of a dog he
- does not want?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The dog-catcher frowned.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;seems to be one of the things our lawmakers have not
- thought of. But whatever you do, I advise you to be careful. Do not try
- any underhand methods, for now that my attention has been called to the
- dog, I shall have to watch his future and see that he is not badly used. I
- am an officer of the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals as well as a
- dog-catcher, and I warn you to be careful what you do with that dog.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Then he got on his wagon again and drove away.
- </p>
- <p>
- The next morning I was a nervous wreck, for Fluff had howled all night,
- and Murchison came over soon after breakfast. He was accompanied by
- Brownlee and Massett.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Now, I am the last man in the world to do anything that my neighbors
- would take offense at,&rdquo; he said, as soon as they were seated on my porch,
- &ldquo;and Brownlee and Massett love dogs as few men ever love them; but
- something has to be done about Fluff. The time has come when we must sleep
- with our windows open, and neither Massett nor Brownlee nor I got a minute
- of sleep last night.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Neither did I,&rdquo; I said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That is different entirely,&rdquo; said Murchison. &ldquo;Fluff is your dog, and if
- you want to keep a howling dog, you would be inclined to put up with the
- howl, but we have no interest in the dog at all. We do not own him, and we
- consider him a nuisance. We have decided to ask you to get rid of him. It
- is unjust to your neighbors to keep a howling dog. You will have to get
- rid of Fluff.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Exactly!&rdquo; said Massett. &ldquo;For ten nights I have not slept a wink, and
- neither has Murchison, nor has Brownlee&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Nor I,&rdquo; I added.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Exactly!&rdquo; said Massett. &ldquo;And four men going without sleep for ten nights
- is equal to one man going without sleep forty nights, which would kill any
- man. Practically, Fluff has killed a man, and is a murderer, and as you
- are responsible for him, it is the same as if you were a murderer
- yourself; and as you were one of the four who did not sleep, you may also
- be said to have committed suicide. But we do not mean to give you into the
- hands of the law until we have remonstrated with you. But we feel deeply,
- and the more so because you could easily give us some nights of sleep in
- which to recuperate.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;If you can tell me how,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I will gladly do it. I need sleep more
- at this minute than I ever needed it in my life.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Very well,&rdquo; said Massett; &ldquo;just get out your shotgun and show it to
- Fluff. When he sees the gun he will run. He will take wings like a duck,
- and while he is away we can get a few nights' rest. That will be
- something. And if we are not in good condition by that time, you can show
- him the shotgun again. Why!&rdquo; he exclaimed, as he grew enthusiastic over
- his idea, &ldquo;you can keep Fluff eternally on the wing!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I felt that I needed a vacation from Fluff. I unchained him and went in to
- get my shotgun. Then I showed him the shotgun, and we had two good nights
- of sleep. After that, whenever we felt that we needed a few nights in
- peace, I just showed Fluff the shotgun and he went away on one of his
- flying trips.
- </p>
- <p>
- But it was Brownlee&mdash;Brownlee knew all about dogs&mdash;who first
- called my attention to what he called the periodicity of Fluff.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Now, you would never have noticed it,&rdquo; he said one day when Murchison and
- I were sitting on my porch with him, &ldquo;but I did. That is because I have
- studied dogs. I know all about dogs, and I know Fluff can run. This is
- because he has greyhound blood in him. With a little wolf. That is why I
- studied Fluff, and how I came to notice that every time you show him the
- shotgun he is gone just forty-eight hours. Now, you go and get your
- shotgun and try it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- So I tried it, and Fluff went away as he always did; and Brownlee sat
- there bragging about how Fluff could run, and about how wonderful he was
- himself to have thought of the periodicity of Fluff.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Did you see how he went?&rdquo; he asked enthusiastically. &ldquo;That gait was a
- thirty-mile-an-hour gait. Why, that dog travels&mdash;he travels&mdash;&rdquo;
- He took out a piece of paper and a pencil and figured it out. &ldquo;In
- forty-eight hours he travels fourteen hundred and forty miles! He gets
- seven hundred and twenty miles from home!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It doesn't seem possible,&rdquo; said Murchison. &ldquo;No,&rdquo; said Brownlee frankly,
- &ldquo;it doesn't.&rdquo; He went over his figures again. &ldquo;But that is figured
- correctly,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;If&mdash;but maybe I did not gauge his speed
- correctly. And I didn't allow for stopping to turn around at the end of
- the out sprint. What we ought to have on that dog is a pedometer. If I
- owned a dog like that, the first thing I would get would be a pedometer.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I told Brownlee that if he wished I would give him Fluff, and he could put
- a pedometer, or anything else, on him; but Brownlee remembered he had some
- work to do and went home.
- </p>
- <p>
- But he was right about the periodicity of Fluff. Almost on the minute at
- the end of forty-eight hours Fluff returned, and Brownlee and Murchison,
- who were there to receive him, were as pleased as if Fluff had been going
- away instead of returning.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That dog,&rdquo; said Brownlee, &ldquo;is a wonderful animal. If Sir Isaac Newton had
- that dog, he would have proved something or other of universal value by
- him. That dog is plumb full of ratios and things, if we only knew how to
- get them out of him. I bet if Sir Isaac Newton had had Fluff as long as
- you have had him he would have had a formula all worked out&mdash;x/y(2xz-dog)=2(4ab-3x)
- or something of that kind, so that anyone with half a knowledge of algebra
- could figure out the square root of any dog any time of the day or night.
- I could get up a Law of Dog myself if I had the time, with a dog like
- Fluff to work on. 'If one dog travels fourteen hundred and forty miles at
- the sight of a gun, how far would two dogs travel?' All that sort of
- thing. Stop!&rdquo; he ejaculated suddenly. &ldquo;If one dog travels forty-eight
- hours at the sight of one gun, how far would he travel at the sight of two
- guns? Murchison,&rdquo; he cried enthusiastically, &ldquo;I've got it! I've got the
- fundamental law of periodicity in dogs! Go get your gun,&rdquo; he said to me,
- &ldquo;and I will get mine.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="linkimage-0008" id="linkimage-0008"> </a>
- </p>
- <div class="fig" style="width:80%;">
- <img src="images/82.jpg" alt="82" width="100%" /><br />
- </div>
- <p>
- He stopped at the gate long enough to say:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I tell you, Murchison, we are on the verge of a mighty important
- discovery&mdash;a mighty important discovery! If this thing turns out
- right, we will be at the root of all dog nature. We will have the great
- underlying law of scared dogs.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He came back with his shotgun carefully hidden behind him, and then he and
- I showed Fluff the two guns simultaneously. For one minute Fluff was
- startled. Then he vanished. All we saw of him as he went was the dust he
- left in his wake. Massett had come over when Brownlee brought over his
- gun, and Murchison and I sat and smoked while Massett and Brownlee fought
- out the periodicity of Fluff. Brownlee said that for two guns Fluff would
- traverse the same distance as for one, but twice as quickly; but Massett
- said Brownlee was foolish, and that anyone who knew anything about dogs
- would know that no dog could go faster than Fluff had gone at the sight of
- one gun. Massett said Fluff would travel at his regular one-gun speed, but
- would travel a two-gun distance. He said Fluff would not be back for
- ninety-six hours. Brownlee said he would be back in forty-eight hours, but
- both agreed that he would travel twenty-eight hundred and eighty miles.
- Then Murchison went home and got a map, and showed Brownlee and Massett
- that if Fluff traveled fourteen hundred miles in the direction he had
- started he would have to do the last two hundred miles as a swim, because
- he would strike the Atlantic Ocean at the twelve hundredth mile. But
- Brownlee just turned up his nose and sneered. He said Fluff was no fool,
- and that when he reached the coast he would veer to the north and travel
- along the beach for two hundred miles or so. Then Massett said that he had
- been thinking about Brownlee's theory, and he <i>knew</i> no dog could do
- what Brownlee said Fluff would do&mdash;sixty miles an hour. He said he
- agreed that a dog like Fluff could do thirty miles an hour if he did not
- stop to howl, because his howl represented about sixty horse power, but
- that no dog could ever do sixty miles an hour. Then Brownlee got mad and
- said Massett was a born idiot, and that Fluff not only <i>could</i> do
- sixty miles, but he could keep on increasing his speed at the rate of
- thirty miles per gun indefinitely. Then they went home mad, but they
- agreed to be on hand when Fluff returned. But they were not. Fluff came
- home in twenty-four hours, almost to the minute.
- </p>
- <p>
- When I went over and told Brownlee, he wouldn't believe it at first, but
- when I showed him Fluff, he cheered up and clapped me on the back.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I tell you,&rdquo; he exclaimed, &ldquo;we have made a great discovery. We have
- discovered the law of scared dogs. 'A dog is scared in inverse ratio to
- the number of guns!' Now, it wouldn't be fair to try Fluff again without
- giving him a breathing spell, but to-morrow I will come over, and we will
- try him with four guns. We will work this thing out thoroughly,&rdquo; he said,
- &ldquo;before we write to the Academy of Science, or whatever a person would
- write to, so that there will be no mistake. Before we give this secret to
- the world we want to have it complete. We will try Fluff with any number
- of guns, and with pistols and rifles, and if we can get one we will try
- him with a cannon. We will keep at it for years and years. You and I will
- be famous.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I told Brownlee that if he wanted to experiment for years with Fluff he
- could have him, but that all I wanted was to get rid of him; but Brownlee
- wouldn't hear of that. He said he would buy Fluff of me if he was rich
- enough, but that Fluff was so valuable he couldn't think of buying him. He
- would let me keep him. He said he would be over the next day to try Fluff
- again.
- </p>
- <p>
- So the next day he and Murchison and Massett came over and held a
- consultation on my porch to decide how many guns they would try on Fluff.
- They could not agree. Massett wanted to try four guns and have Fluff
- absent only half a day, but Brownlee wanted to have me break my shotgun in
- two and try that on Fluff. He said that according to the law of scared
- dogs, a half a gun, working it out by inverse ratio, would keep Fluff away
- for twice as long as one gun, which would be ninety-six hours; and while
- they were arguing it out Fluff came around the house unsuspectingly and
- saw us on the porch. He gave us one startled glance and started north by
- northeast at what Brownlee said was the most marvelous rate of speed he
- ever saw. Then he and Massett got down off the porch and looked for guns,
- but there were none in sight. There wasn't anything that looked the least
- like a gun. Not even a broomstick. Brownlee said he knew what was the
- matter&mdash;Fluff was having a little practice run to keep in good
- condition, and would be back in a few hours; but, judging by the look he
- gave us as he went, I thought he would be gone longer than that.
- </p>
- <p>
- I could see that Brownlee was worried, and as day followed day without any
- return of Fluff, Murchison and I tried to cheer him up, showing him how
- much better we all slept while Fluff was away; but it did not cheer up
- poor Brownlee. He had set his faith on that dog, and the dog had deceived
- him. We all became anxious about Brownlee's health&mdash;he moped around
- so; and just when we began to be afraid he was going into a decline he
- cheered up, and came over as bright and happy as a man could be.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I told you so!&rdquo; he exclaimed joyfully, as soon as he was inside my gate.
- &ldquo;And it makes me ashamed of myself that I didn't think of it the moment I
- saw Fluff start off. You will never see that dog again.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I told Brownlee that that was good news, anyway, even if it did upset his
- law of scared dogs; but he smiled a superior smile.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Disprove nothing!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;It proves my law. Didn't I say in the first
- place that the time a dog would be gone was in inverse ratio to the number
- of guns? Well, the inverse ratio to no guns is infinite time&mdash;that is
- how long Fluff will be gone; that is how long he will run. Why, that dog
- will never stop running while there is any dog left in him. He can't help
- it&mdash;it is the law of scared dogs.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Do you mean to say,&rdquo; I asked him, &ldquo;that that dog will run on and on
- forever?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Exactly!&rdquo; said Brownlee proudly. &ldquo;As long as there is a particle of him
- left he will keep on running. That is the law.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Maybe Brownlee was right. I don't know. But what I would like to know is
- the name of some one who would like a dog that looks like Fluff, and is
- his size, and that howls like him and that answers to his name. A dog of
- that kind returned to Murchison's house a long time before infinity, and I
- would like to get rid of him. Brownlee says it isn't Fluff; that his law
- couldn't be wrong, and that this is merely a dog that resembles Fluff.
- Maybe Brownlee is right, but I would like to know some one that wants a
- dog with a richly melodious voice.
- </p>
- <h3>
- THE END
- </h3>
- <div style="height: 6em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of That Pup, by Ellis Parker Butler
-
-*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THAT PUP ***
-
-***** This file should be named 44146-h.htm or 44146-h.zip *****
-This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
- http://www.gutenberg.org/4/4/1/4/44146/
-
-Produced by David Widger
-
-Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
-will be renamed.
-
-Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
-one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
-(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
-permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules,
-set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
-copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
-protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project
-Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
-charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you
-do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
-rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
-such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
-research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
-practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is
-subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
-redistribution.
-
-
-
-*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
-
-THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
-PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
-
-To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
-distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
-(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase &ldquo;Project
-Gutenberg&rdquo;), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
-Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at
- www.gutenberg.org/license.
-
-
-Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
-electronic works
-
-1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
-electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
-and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
-(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all
-the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
-all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
-If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
-Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
-terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
-entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
-
-1.B. &ldquo;Project Gutenberg&rdquo; is a registered trademark. It may only be
-used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
-agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few
-things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
-even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See
-paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project
-Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
-and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
-works. See paragraph 1.E below.
-
-1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (&ldquo;the Foundation&rdquo;
- or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
-Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the
-collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an
-individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
-located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
-copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
-works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
-are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
-Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
-freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
-this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
-the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
-keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
-Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
-
-1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
-what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in
-a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check
-the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
-before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
-creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
-Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning
-the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
-States.
-
-1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
-
-1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
-access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
-whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
-phrase &ldquo;Project Gutenberg&rdquo; appears, or with which the phrase &ldquo;Project
-Gutenberg&rdquo; is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
-copied or distributed:
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
-
-1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
-from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
-posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
-and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
-or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
-with the phrase &ldquo;Project Gutenberg&rdquo; associated with or appearing on the
-work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
-through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
-Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
-1.E.9.
-
-1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
-with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
-must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
-terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked
-to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
-permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
-
-1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
-License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
-work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
-
-1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
-electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
-prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
-active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
-Gutenberg-tm License.
-
-1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
-compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
-word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or
-distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
-&ldquo;Plain Vanilla ASCII&rdquo; or other format used in the official version
-posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
-you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
-copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
-request, of the work in its original &ldquo;Plain Vanilla ASCII&rdquo; or other
-form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
-License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
-
-1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
-performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
-unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
-
-1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
-access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
-that
-
-- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
- the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
- you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is
- owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
- has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
- Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments
- must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
- prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
- returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
- sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
- address specified in Section 4, &ldquo;Information about donations to
- the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.&rdquo;
-
-- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
- you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
- does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
- License. You must require such a user to return or
- destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
- and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
- Project Gutenberg-tm works.
-
-- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
- money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
- electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
- of receipt of the work.
-
-- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
- distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
-
-1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
-electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
-forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
-both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
-Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the
-Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
-
-1.F.
-
-1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
-effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
-public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
-collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
-works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
-&ldquo;Defects,&rdquo; such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
-corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
-property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
-computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
-your equipment.
-
-1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the &ldquo;Right
-of Replacement or Refund&rdquo; described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
-Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
-Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
-Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
-liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
-fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
-LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
-PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
-TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
-LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
-INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
-DAMAGE.
-
-1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
-defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
-receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
-written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you
-received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
-your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with
-the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
-refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
-providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
-receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy
-is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
-opportunities to fix the problem.
-
-1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
-in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER
-WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
-WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
-
-1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
-warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
-If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
-law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
-interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
-the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any
-provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
-
-1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
-trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
-providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
-with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
-promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
-harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
-that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
-or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
-work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
-Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
-
-
-Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
-
-Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
-electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
-including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists
-because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
-people in all walks of life.
-
-Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
-assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
-goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
-remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project
-Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
-and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
-To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
-and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
-and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org
-
-
-Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
-Foundation
-
-The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
-501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
-state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
-Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
-number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
-Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
-permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
-
-The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
-Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
-throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at 809
-North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email
-contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the
-Foundation's web site and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact
-
-For additional contact information:
- Dr. Gregory B. Newby
- Chief Executive and Director
- gbnewby@pglaf.org
-
-Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
-Literary Archive Foundation
-
-Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
-spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
-increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
-freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
-array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations
-($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
-status with the IRS.
-
-The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
-charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
-States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
-considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
-with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations
-where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To
-SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
-particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate
-
-While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
-have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
-against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
-approach us with offers to donate.
-
-International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
-any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
-outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
-
-Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
-methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other
-ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
-To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate
-
-
-Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
-works.
-
-Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
-concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
-with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project
-Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
-
-Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
-editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
-unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily
-keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
-
-Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
-
- www.gutenberg.org
-
-This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
-including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
-Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
-subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
-
-
-
-</pre>
-
- </body>
-</html>
diff --git a/old/44146-h/images/26.jpg b/old/44146-h/images/26.jpg
deleted file mode 100644
index c571451..0000000
--- a/old/44146-h/images/26.jpg
+++ /dev/null
Binary files differ
diff --git a/old/44146-h/images/32.jpg b/old/44146-h/images/32.jpg
deleted file mode 100644
index c3ad366..0000000
--- a/old/44146-h/images/32.jpg
+++ /dev/null
Binary files differ
diff --git a/old/44146-h/images/46.jpg b/old/44146-h/images/46.jpg
deleted file mode 100644
index cff6e07..0000000
--- a/old/44146-h/images/46.jpg
+++ /dev/null
Binary files differ
diff --git a/old/44146-h/images/52.jpg b/old/44146-h/images/52.jpg
deleted file mode 100644
index 9122d9b..0000000
--- a/old/44146-h/images/52.jpg
+++ /dev/null
Binary files differ
diff --git a/old/44146-h/images/62.jpg b/old/44146-h/images/62.jpg
deleted file mode 100644
index fc44f99..0000000
--- a/old/44146-h/images/62.jpg
+++ /dev/null
Binary files differ
diff --git a/old/44146-h/images/72.jpg b/old/44146-h/images/72.jpg
deleted file mode 100644
index 85808e6..0000000
--- a/old/44146-h/images/72.jpg
+++ /dev/null
Binary files differ
diff --git a/old/44146-h/images/82.jpg b/old/44146-h/images/82.jpg
deleted file mode 100644
index 2ae84a0..0000000
--- a/old/44146-h/images/82.jpg
+++ /dev/null
Binary files differ
diff --git a/old/44146-h/images/dogVS.jpg b/old/44146-h/images/dogVS.jpg
deleted file mode 100644
index 764333a..0000000
--- a/old/44146-h/images/dogVS.jpg
+++ /dev/null
Binary files differ
diff --git a/old/44146-h/images/frontispiece.jpg b/old/44146-h/images/frontispiece.jpg
deleted file mode 100644
index 963ae5d..0000000
--- a/old/44146-h/images/frontispiece.jpg
+++ /dev/null
Binary files differ
diff --git a/old/44146-h/images/titlepage.jpg b/old/44146-h/images/titlepage.jpg
deleted file mode 100644
index 3b7a6a7..0000000
--- a/old/44146-h/images/titlepage.jpg
+++ /dev/null
Binary files differ
diff --git a/old/44146.txt b/old/44146.txt
deleted file mode 100644
index 7cad0a7..0000000
--- a/old/44146.txt
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,1435 +0,0 @@
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of That Pup, by Ellis Parker Butler
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
-
-
-Title: That Pup
-
-Author: Ellis Parker Butler
-
-Release Date: November 10, 2013 [EBook #44146]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THAT PUP ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by David Widger
-
-
-
-
-
-
-THAT PUP
-
-By Ellis Parker Butler
-
-Author Of Pigs Is Pigs, Kilo, Etc.
-
-Illustrated
-
-New York The Mcclure Company, MCMVII
-
-
-
-
-I. THE EDUCATION OF FLUFF
-
-Murchison, who lives next door to me, wants to get rid of a dog, and if
-you know of anyone who wants a dog I wish you would let Murchison know.
-Murchison doesn't need it. He is tired of dogs, anyway. That is just
-like Murchison. 'Way up in an enthusiasm one day and sick of it the
-next.
-
-Brownlee--Brownlee lives on the other side of Murchison--remembers when
-Murchison got the dog. It was the queerest thing, so Murchison says,
-you ever heard of. Here came the express wagon--Adams' Express Company's
-wagon--and delivered the dog. The name was all right--"C. P. Murchison,
-Gallatin, Iowa"--and the charges were paid. The charges were $2.80, and
-paid, and the dog had been shipped from New York. Think of that! Twelve
-hundred miles in a box, with a can of condensed milk tied to the box and
-"Please feed" written on it.
-
-[Illustration: frontispiece]
-
-When Murchison came home to dinner, there was the dog. At first
-Murchison was pleased; then he was surprised; then he was worried. He
-hadn't ordered a dog. The more he thought about it the more he worried.
-
-"If I could just _think_ who sent it," he said to Brownlee, "then I
-would know who sent it; but I can't think. It is evidently a valuable
-dog. I can see that. People don't send cheap, inferior dogs twelve
-hundred miles. But I can't _think_ who sent it."
-
-"What worries me," he said to Brownlee another time, "is who sent it.
-I can't _imagine_ who would send me a dog from New York. I know so many
-people, and, like as not, some influential friend of mine has meant to
-make me a nice present, and now he is probably mad because I haven't
-acknowledged it. I'd like to know what he thinks of me about now!"
-
-It almost worried him sick. Murchison never did care for dogs, but when
-a man is presented with a valuable dog, all the way from New York, with
-$2.80 charges paid, he simply _has_ to admire that dog. So Murchison got
-into the habit of admiring the dog, and so did Mrs. Murchison. From what
-they tell me, it was rather a nice dog in its infancy, for it was only a
-pup then. Infant dogs have a habit of being pups.
-
-As near as I could gather from what Murchison and Mrs. Murchison
-told me, it was a little, fluffy, yellow ball, with bright eyes and
-ever-moving tail. It was the kind of a dog that bounces around like a
-rubber ball, and eats the evening newspaper, and rolls down the porch
-steps with short, little squawks of surprise, and lies down on its back
-with its four legs in the air whenever a bigger dog comes near. In color
-it was something like a camel, but a little redder where the hair was
-long, and its hair was like beaver fur--soft and woolly inside, with a
-few long hairs that were not so soft. It was so little and fluffy that
-Mrs. Murchison called it Fluff. Pretty name for a soft, little dog is
-Fluff.
-
-"If I only _knew_ who sent that dog," Murchison used to say to Brownlee,
-"I would like to make some return. I'd send him a barrel of my best
-melons, express paid, if it cost me five dollars!"
-
-Murchison was in the produce business, and he knew all about melons, but
-not so much about dogs. Of course he could tell a dog from a cat, and a
-few things of that sort, but Brownlee was the real dog man. Brownlee had
-two Irish pointers or setters--I forget which they were; the black dogs
-with the long, floppy ears. I don't know much about dogs myself. I hate
-dogs.
-
-Brownlee knows a great deal about dogs. He isn't one of the book-taught
-sort; he knows dogs by instinct. As soon as he sees a dog he can make
-a guess at its breed, and out our way that is a pretty good test, for
-Gallatin dogs are rather cosmopolitan. That is what makes good stock in
-men--Scotch grandmother and German grandfather on one side and English
-grandmother and Swedish grandfather on the other--and I don't see why
-the same isn't true of dogs. There are numbers of dogs in Gallatin that
-can trace their ancestry through nearly every breed of dog that ever
-lived, and Brownlee can look at any one of them and immediately guess
-at its formula--one part Spitz, three parts greyhound, two parts collie,
-and so on. I have heard him guess more kinds of dog than I ever knew
-existed.
-
-As soon as he saw Murchison's dog he guessed it was a pure bred Shepherd
-with a trace of Eskimo. Massett, who thinks he knows as much about dogs
-as Brownlee does, didn't believe it. The moment he saw the pup he said
-it was a pedigree dog, half St. Bernard and half Spitz.
-
-Brownlee and Massett used to sit on Murchison's steps after supper and
-point out the proofs to each other. They would argue for hours.
-
-"All right, Massett," Brownlee would say, "but you can't fool _me_. I
-Look at that nose! If that isn't a Shepherd nose, I'll eat it. And see
-that tail! Did you ever see a tail like that on a Spitz? That is an
-Eskimo tail as sure as I am a foot high."
-
-"Tail fiddlesticks!" Massett would reply. "You can't tell anything by
-a pup's tail. Look at his ears! _There_ is St. Bernard for you! And see
-his lower jaw. Isn't that Spitz? I'll leave it to Murchison. Isn't that
-lower jaw Spitz, Murchison?"
-
-Then all three would tackle the puppy and open its mouth and feel its
-jaw, and the pup would wriggle and squeak, and back away, opening and
-shutting its mouth to see if its works had been damaged.
-
-"All right!" Brownlee would say. "You wait a year or two and you'll
-see!"
-
-About three months later the pup was as big as an ordinary full-grown
-dog, and his coat looked like a compromise between a calfskin and one of
-these hairbrush door mats you use to wipe your feet on in muddy weather.
-He did not look like the same pup. He was long limbed and awkward and
-useless, and homely as a shopworn fifty-cent yellow plush manicure set.
-Murchison began to feel that he didn't really need a dog, but Brownlee
-was as enthusiastic as ever. He would go over to Murchison's fairly
-oozing dog knowledge.
-
-"I'll tell you what that dog is," he would say. "That dog is a cross
-between a Great Dane and an English Deerhound. You've got a very
-valuable dog there, Murchison, a very valuable dog. He comes of fine
-stock on both sides, and it is a cross you don't often see. I never saw
-it, and I've seen all kinds of crossed dogs."
-
-Then Massett would drop in and walk around the dog admiringly for a few
-minutes and absorb his beauties.
-
-"Murchison," he would say, "do you know what that dog is? That dog is
-a pure cross between a Siberian wolfhound and a Newfoundland. You treat
-that dog right and you'll have a fortune in him. Why, a pure Siberian
-wolfhound is worth a thousand dollars, and a good--a really good
-Newfoundland, mind you--is worth two thousand, and you've got both in
-one dog. That's three thousand dollars' worth of dog!"
-
-In the next six months Fluff grew. He broadened out and lengthened and
-heightened, and every day or two Brownlee or Massett would discover a
-new strain of dog in him. They pointed out to Murchison all the marks
-by which he could tell the different kinds of dog that were combined
-in Fluff, and every time they discovered a new one they held a sort of
-jubilee, and bragged and swelled their chests. They seemed to spend all
-their time thinking up odd and strange kinds of dog that Fluff had in
-him. Brownlee discovered the traces of Cuban bloodhound, Kamtchatka
-hound, beagle, Brague de Bengale, and Thibet mastiff, but Massett first
-traced the stag-hound, Turkoman watchdog, Dachshund, and Harrier in him.
-
-[Illustration: 26]
-
-Murchison, not being a doggish man, never claimed to have noticed any of
-these family resemblances, and never said what he thought the dog really
-was until a month or two later, when he gave it as his opinion that the
-dog was a cross between a wolf, a Shetland pony, and hyena. It was about
-that time that Fluff had to be chained. He had begun to eat other dogs,
-and children and chickens. The first night Murchison chained him to his
-kennel Fluff walked half a mile, taking the kennel along, and then only
-stopped because the kennel got tangled with a lamp-post. The man who
-brought him home claimed that Fluff was nearly asphyxiated when he found
-him; said he gnawed half through the lamp-post, and that gas got in his
-lungs, but this was not true. Murchison learned afterwards that it was
-only a gasoline lamp-post, and a wooden one.
-
-"If there were only some stags around this part of the country," said
-Massett, "the stag-hound strain in that dog would be mighty valuable.
-You could rent him out to everybody who wanted to go stag hunting; and
-you'd have a regular monopoly, because he's the only staghound in this
-part of the country. And stag hunting would be popular, too, out here,
-because there are no game laws that interfere with stag hunting in this
-State. There is no closed season. People could hunt stags all the year
-round, and you'd have that dog busy every day of the year."
-
-"Yes!" sneered Brownlee, "only there are no stags. And he hasn't any
-staghound blood in him. Pity there are no Dachs in this State, too,
-isn't it? Then Murchison could hire his dog at night, too. They hunt
-Dachs at night, don't they, Massett? Only there is no Dachshund blood in
-him, either. If there was, and if there were a few Dachs-"
-
-Massett was mad.
-
-"Yes!" he cried. "And you, with your Cuban bloodhound strain! I suppose
-if it was the open season for Cubans, you'd go out with the dog and tree
-a few! Or put on snowshoes and follow the Kamtchat to his icy lair!"
-Brownlee doesn't get mad easily.
-
-"Murchison," he said, "leaving out Mas-sett's dreary nonsense about
-staghounds, I can tell you that dog would make the finest duck dog in
-the State. He's got all the points for a good duck dog, and I ought to
-know for I have two of the best duck dogs that ever lived. All he needs
-is training. If you will train him right you'll have a mighty valuable
-dog."
-
-"But I don't hunt ducks," said Murchison, "and I don't know how to train
-even a lap-dog."
-
-"You let me attend to his education," said Brownlee. "I just want to
-show Massett here that I know a dog when I see one. I'll show Massett
-the finest duck dog he ever saw when I get through with Fluff."
-
-So he went over and got his shotgun, just to give Fluff his first
-lesson. The first thing a duck dog must learn is not to be afraid of a
-gun, and Brownlee said that if a dog first learned about guns right at
-his home he was not so apt to be afraid of them. He said that if a dog
-heard a gun for the first time when he was away from home and in strange
-surroundings he was quite right to be surprised and startled, but if he
-heard it in the bosom of his family, with all his friends calmly seated
-about, he would think it was a natural thing, and accept it as such.
-
-So Brownlee put a shell in his gun and Mas-sett and Murchison sat on the
-porch steps and pretended to be uninterested and normal, and Brownlee
-stood up and aimed the gun in the air. Fluff was eating a bone, but
-Brownlee spoke to him and he looked up, and Brownlee pulled the trigger.
-It seemed about five minutes before Fluff struck the ground, he jumped
-so high when the gun was fired, and then he started north by northeast
-at about sixty miles an hour. He came back all right, three weeks later,
-but his tail was still between his legs.
-
-[Illustration: 32]
-
-Brownlee didn't feel the least discouraged. He said he saw now that
-the whole principle of what he had done was wrong; that no dog with any
-brains whatever could be anything but frightened to hear a gun shot off
-right in the bosom of his family. That was no place to fire a gun. He
-said Fluff evidently thought the whole lot of us were crazy, and ran in
-fear of his life, thinking we were insane and might shoot him next.
-He said the thing to do was to take the shotgun into its natural
-surroundings and let Fluff learn to love it there. He pictured Fluff
-enjoying the sound of the gun when he heard it at the edge of the lake.
-
-Murchison never hunted ducks, but as Fluff was his dog, he went with
-Brownlee, and of course Massett went. Massett wanted to see the failure.
-He said he wished stags were as plentiful as ducks, and he would show
-Brownlee!
-
-Fluff was a strong dog--he seemed to have a strain of ox in him, so far
-as strength went--and as long as he saw the gun he insisted that he
-would stay at home; but when Brownlee wrapped the gun in brown paper so
-it looked like a big parcel from the meat shop, the horse that they had
-hitched to the buck-board was able to drag Fluff along without straining
-itself. Fluff was fastened to the rear axle with a chain.
-
-When they reached Duck Lake, Brownlee untied Fluff and patted him,
-and then unwrapped the gun. Fluff gave one pained glance and made the
-six-mile run home in seven minutes without stopping. He was home before
-Brownlee could think of anything to say, and he went so far into his
-kennel that Murchison had to take off the boards at the back to find him
-that night.
-
-"That's nothing," was what Brownlee said when he did speak; "young dogs
-are often that way. Gun fright. They have to be gun broken. You come out
-to-morrow, and I'll show you how a man who really knows how to handle a
-dog does the trick."
-
-The next day, when Fluff saw the buck-board he went into his kennel, and
-they couldn't pry him out with the hoe-handle. He connected buckboards
-and guns in his mind, so Brownlee borrowed the butcher's delivery wagon,
-and they drove to Wild Lake. It was seven miles, but Fluff seemed more
-willing to go in that direction than toward Duck Lake. He did not seem
-to care to go to Duck Lake at all.
-
-"Now, then," said Brownlee, "I'll show you the intelligent way to handle
-a dog. I'll prove to him that he has nothing to fear, that I am his
-comrade and friend. And at the same time," he said, "I'll not have him
-running off home and spoiling our day's sport."
-
-So he took the chain and fastened it around his waist, and then he sat
-down and talked to Fluff like an old friend, and got him in a playful
-mood. Then he had Murchison get the gun out of the wagon and lay it on
-the ground about twenty feet off. It was wrapped in brown paper.
-
-Brownlee talked to Fluff and told him what fine sport duck hunting is,
-and then, as if by chance, he got on his hands and knees and crawled
-toward the gun. Fluff hung back a little, but the chain just coaxed him
-a little, too, and they edged up to the gun, and Brownlee pretended to
-discover it unexpectedly.
-
-"Well, well!" he said. "What's this?"
-
-Fluff nosed up to it and sniffed it, and then went at it as if it was
-Massett's cat. That Brownlee had wrapped a beefsteak around the gun,
-inside the paper, and Fluff tore off the paper and ate the steak, and
-Brownlee winked at Murchison.
-
-"I declare," he said, "if here isn't a gun! Look at this, Fluff--a gun!
-Gosh! but we are in luck!"
-
-Would you believe it, that dog sniffed at the gun, and did not fear it
-in the least? You could have hit him on the head with it and he would
-not have minded it. He never did mind being hit with small things like
-guns and ax handles.
-
-Brownlee got up and stood erect.
-
-"You see!" he said proudly. "All a man needs with a dog like this is
-intelligence. A dog is like a horse. He wants his reason appealed to.
-Now, if I fire the gun, he may be a little startled, but I have created
-a faith in me in him. He knows there is nothing dangerous in a gun _as_
-a gun. He knows I am not afraid of it, so he is not afraid. He realizes
-that we are chained together, and that proves to him that he need not
-run unless I run. Now watch."
-
-Brownlee fired the shotgun.
-
-Instantly he started for home. He did not start lazily, like a boy
-starting to the wood pile, but went promptly and with a dash. His first
-jump was only ten feet, and we heard him grunt as he landed, but after
-that he got into his stride and made fourteen feet each jump. He was
-bent forward a good deal in the middle, where the chain was, and in many
-ways he was not as graceful as a professional cinder-path track runner,
-but, in running, the main thing is to cover the ground rapidly. Brownlee
-did that.
-
-Massett said it was a bad start. He said it was all right to start a
-hundred-yard dash that way, but for a long-distance run--a run of seven
-miles across country--the start was too impetuous; that it showed a lack
-of generalship, and that when it came to the finish the affair would be
-tame; but it wasn't.
-
-Brownlee said afterwards that there wasn't a tame moment in the entire
-seven miles. It was rather more wild than tame. He felt right from the
-start that the finish would be sensational, unless the chain cut him
-quite in two, and it didn't. He said that when the chain had cut as far
-as his spinal column it could go no farther, and it stopped and clung
-there, but it was the only thing that did stop, except his breath. It
-was several years later that I first met Brownlee, and he was still
-breathing hard, like a man who has just been running rapidly. Brownlee
-says when he shuts his eyes his legs still seem to be going.
-
-The first mile was through underbrush, and that was lucky, for the
-underbrush removed most of Brownlee's clothing, and put him in better
-running weight, but at the mile and a quarter they struck the road.
-He said at two miles he thought he might be overexercising the dog and
-maybe he had better stop, but the dog seemed anxious to get home so he
-didn't stop there. He said that at three miles he was sure the dog was
-overdoing, and that with his knowledge of dogs he was perfectly able
-to stop a running dog in its own length if he could speak to it, but
-he couldn't speak to this dog for two reasons. One was that he couldn't
-overtake the dog and the other was that all the speak was yanked out of
-him.
-
-When they reached five miles the dog seemed to think they were taking
-too much time to get home, and let out a few more laps of speed, and
-it was right there that Brownlee decided that Fluff had some greyhound
-blood in him.
-
-He said that when they reached town he felt as if he would have been
-glad to stop at his own house and lie down for awhile, but the dog
-didn't want to, and so they went on; but that he ought to be thankful
-that the dog was willing to stop at that town at all. The next town was
-twelve miles farther on, and the roads were bad. But the dog turned into
-Murchison's yard and went right into his kennel.
-
-When Murchison and Massett got home, an hour or so later, after driving
-the horse all the way at a gallop, they found old Gregg, the carpenter,
-prying the roof off the kennel. You see, Murchison had knocked the rear
-out of the kennel the day before, and so when the dog aimed for
-the front he went straight through, and as Brownlee was built more
-perpendicular than the dog, Brownlee didn't go quite through. He went
-in something like doubling up a dollar bill to put it into a thimble.
-I don't suppose anyone would want to double up a dollar bill to put it
-into a thimble, but neither did Brownlee want to be doubled up and
-put into the kennel. It was the dog's thought. So they had to take the
-kennel roof off.
-
-When they got Brownlee out they laid him on the grass, and covered him
-up with a porch rug, and let him lie there a couple of hours to pant,
-for that seemed what he wanted to do just then. It was the longest
-period Brownlee ever spent awake without talking about dog.
-
-Murchison and Massett and old Gregg and twenty-six informal guests stood
-around and gazed at Brownlee panting. Presently Brownlee was able to
-gasp out a few words.
-
-"Murchison," he gasped, "Murchison, if you just had that dog in
-Florence--or wherever it is they race dogs--you'd have a fortune."
-
-He panted awhile, and then gasped out:
-
-"He's a great runner; a phenomenal runner!"
-
-He had to pant more, and then he gasped with pride:
-
-"But I wasn't three feet behind him all the way!"
-
-
-
-
-II. GETTING RID OF FLUFF
-
-So after that Murchison decided to get rid of Fluff. He told me that he
-had never really-wanted a dog, anyway, but that when a dog is sent, all
-the way from New York, anonymously, with $2.80 charges paid, it is hard
-to cast the dog out into the cold world without giving it a trial. So
-Murchison tried the dog for a few more years, and at last he decided
-he would have to get rid of him. He came over and spoke to me about it,
-because I had just moved in next door.
-
-"Do you like dogs?" he asked, and that was the first word of
-conversation I ever had with Murchison. I told him frankly that I did
-not like dogs, and that my wife did not like them, and Murchison seemed
-more pleased than if I had offered him a thousand dollars.
-
-"Now, I am glad of that," he said, "for Mrs. Murchison and I hate dogs.
-If you do not like dogs, I will get rid of Fluff. I made up my mind
-several years ago to get rid of Fluff, but when I heard you were going
-to move into this house, I decided not to get rid of him until I knew
-whether you liked dogs or not. I told Mrs. Murchison that if we got rid
-of Fluff before you came, and then found that you loved dogs and owned
-one, you might take our getting rid of Fluff as a hint that your dog was
-distasteful to us, and it might hurt your feelings. And Mrs. Murchison
-said that if you had a dog, your dog might feel lonely in a strange
-place and might like to have Fluff to play with until your dog got used
-to the neighborhood. So we did not get rid of him; but if you do not
-like dogs we will get rid of him right away."
-
-I told Murchison that I saw he was the kind of a neighbor a man liked to
-have, and that it was kind of him to offer to get rid of Fluff, but that
-he mustn't do so just on our account.
-
-I said that if he wanted to keep the dog, he had better do so.
-
-"Now, that is kind of you," said Murchison, "but we would really rather
-get rid of him. I decided several years ago that I would get rid of him,
-but Brownlee likes dogs, and took an interest in Fluff, and wanted to
-make a bird dog of him, so we kept Fluff for his sake. But now Brownlee
-is tired of making a bird dog of him. He says Fluff is too strong to
-make a good bird dog, and not strong enough to rent out as a horse, and
-he is willing I should get rid of him. He says he is anxious for me to
-get rid of him as soon as I can."
-
-When I saw Fluff I agreed with Brownlee. At the first glance I saw that
-Fluff was a failure as a dog, and that to make a good camel he needed
-a shorter neck and more hump, but he had the general appearance of an
-amateur camel. He looked as if some one who had never seen a dog, but
-had heard of one, had started out to make a dog, and got to thinking of
-a camel every once in a while, and had tried to show me Fluff that day
-worked in parts of what he thought a camel was like with what he thought
-a dog was like, and then--when the job was about done--had decided it
-was a failure, and had just finished it up any way, sticking on the
-meanest and cheapest hair he could find, and getting most of it on wrong
-side to.
-
-[Illustration: 52]
-
-But the cheap hair did not matter much. Murchison and Brownlee showed me
-the place where Fluff had worn most of it off the ridge pole of his back
-crawling under the porch. He tried to show me Fluff that day, but it was
-so dark under the porch that I could not tell which was Fluff and which
-was simply underneathness of porch. But from what Brownlee told me
-that day, I knew that Fluff had suffered a permanent dislocation of the
-spirits. He told me he had taken Fluff out to make a duck dog of him,
-and that all the duck Fluff was interested in was to duck when he saw a
-gun, and that after he had heard a gun fired once or twice he had become
-sad and dejected, and had acquired a permanently ingrowing tail, and an
-expression of face like a coyote, but more mournful. He had acquired a
-habit of carrying his head down and forward, as if he was about to lay
-it on the headsman's block, and knew he deserved that and more, and the
-sooner it was over the better. He couldn't even scratch fleas correctly.
-Brownlee said that when he met a flea in the road he would not even go
-around it, but would stoop down like a camel to let the flea get aboard.
-He was that kind of a dog. He was the most discouraged dog I ever knew.
-
-The next day I was putting down the carpet in the back bedroom, when in
-came Murchison.
-
-"I came over to speak to you about Fluff," he said. "I am afraid he
-must have annoyed you last night. I suppose you heard him howl?"
-
-"Yes, Murchison," I said, "I did hear him. I never knew a dog could howl
-so loud and long as that. He must have been very ill."
-
-"Oh, no!" said Murchison cheerfully. "That is the way he always howls.
-That is one of the reasons I have decided to get rid of Fluff. But it
-is a great deal worse for us than it is for you. The air inlet of our
-furnace is at the side of the house just where Fluff puts his head when
-he howls, and the register in our room is right at the head of our bed.
-So his howl goes in at the inlet and down through the furnace and up
-the furnace pipes, and is delivered right in our room, just as clear and
-strong as if he was in the room. That is one reason I have fully decided
-to get rid of Fluff. It would not be so bad if we had only one register
-in our house, but we have ten, and when Fluff howls, his voice is
-delivered by all ten registers, so it is just as if we had ten Fluffs
-in the house at one time. And ten howls like Fluff's are too much.
-Even Brownlee says so." I told Murchison that I agreed with Brownlee
-perfectly. Fluff had a bad howl. It sounded as if Cruel Fate, with
-spikes in his shoes, had stepped on Fluff's inmost soul, and then jogged
-up and down on the tenderest spot, and Fluff was trying to reproduce his
-feelings in vocal exercises. It sounded like a cheap phonograph giving
-a symphony in the key of woe minor, with a megaphone attachment and bad
-places in the record. Judging by his voice, the machine needed a new
-needle. But the megaphone attachment was all right.
-
-Brownlee--who knows all about dogs--said that he knew what was
-the matter with Fluff. He said Fluff had a very high-grade musical
-temperament, and that he longed to be the Caruso of dogs. He said that
-he could see that all through his bright and hopeful puppyhood he had
-looked forward to being a great singer, with a Wagner repertoire and
-tremolo stops in his song organ, and that he had early set his aim at
-perfection. He said Fluff was that kind of a dog, and that when he saw
-what his voice had turned out to be he was dissatisfied, and became
-morbid. He said that any dog that had a voice like Fluff's had a right
-to be dissatisfied with it--he would be dissatisfied himself with
-that voice. He said he did not wonder that Fluff slunk around all day,
-feeling he was no good on earth, and that he could understand that when
-night came and everything was still, so that Fluff could judge of the
-purity of his tonal quality better, he would pull out his voice, and
-tune it up and look it over and try it again, hoping it had improved
-since he tried it last. Brownlee said it never had improved, and that
-was what made Fluff's howl so mournful--it was full of tears. He said
-Fluff would go to G flat and B flat and D flat, and so on until he
-struck a note he felt he was pretty good at, and then he would cling to
-that note and weep it full of tears.
-
-[Illustration: 52]
-
-He asked Murchison if he hadn't noticed that the howl was sort of damp
-and salty from the tears, but Murchison said he hadn't noticed the
-dampness. He said it probably got dried out of the howl before it
-readied him, coming through the furnace. Then Brownlee said that if
-there was only some way of regulating Fluff, so that he could be turned
-on and off, Murchison would have a fortune in him: he could turn his
-howl off when people wanted to be cheerful, and then, when a time of
-great national woe occurred, Murchison could turn Fluff on and set him
-going. He said he never heard anything in his life that came so near
-expressing in sound a great national woe as Fluff's howl did. He said
-Fluff might lack finish in tonal quality, but that in woe quality he was
-a master: he was stuffed so full of woe quality that it oozed out of his
-pores. He said he always thought what a pity it was for dogs like Fluff
-that people preferred cheerful songs like "Annie Rooney" and "Waltz me
-around again, Willie" to the nobler woe operas. He said he had tried
-to like good music himself, but it was no use: whenever he heard Fluff
-sing, he felt that Murchison ought to get rid of Fluff. Then Murchison
-said that was just what he was going to do. What he wanted to talk about
-was how to get rid of Fluff.
-
-But I am getting too far ahead of my story. Whenever I get to talking
-about the howl of Fluff, I find I wander on for hours at a time.
-
-It takes hours of talk to explain just what a mean howl Fluff had.
-
-But as I was saying, Murchison came over while I was putting down the
-carpet in my back bedroom, and told me he had fully decided to get rid
-of Fluff.
-
-"I have fully decided to get rid of him," he said, "and the only thing
-that bothers me is how to get rid of him."
-
-"Give him away," I suggested.
-
-"That's a good idea!" said Murchison gratefully. "That's the very idea
-that occurred to me when I first thought of getting rid of Fluff. It is
-an idea that just matches Fluff all over. That is just the kind of dog
-Fluff is. If ever a dog was made to give away, Fluff was made for it.
-The more I think about him and look at him and study him, the surer I am
-that the only thing he is good for is to give away."
-
-Then he shook his head and sighed.
-
-"The only trouble," he said, "is that Fluff _is_ the give-away kind of
-dog. That is the only kind you can't give away. There is only one time
-of the year that a person can make presents of things that are good for
-nothing but to give away, and that is at Christmas. Now, I might--"
-
-"Murchison," I said, laying my tack hammer on the floor and standing up,
-"you don't mean to keep that infernal, howling beast until Christmas, do
-you? If you do, I shall stop putting down this carpet. I shall pull out
-the tacks that are already in and move elsewhere. Why, this is only
-the first of May, and if I have to sleep--if I have to keep awake every
-night and listen to that animated foghorn drag his raw soul over the
-teeth of a rusty harrow--I shall go crazy. Can't you think of some one
-that is going to have a birthday sooner than that?"
-
-"I wish I could," said Murchison wistfully, "but I can't. I want to get
-rid of Fluff, and so does Brownlee, and so does Massett, but I can't
-think of a way to get rid of him, and neither can they."
-
-"Murchison," I said, with some asperity, for I hate a man who trifles,
-"if I really thought you and Brownlee and Massett were as stupid as
-all that, I would be sorry I moved into this neighborhood, but I don't
-believe it. I believe you do not mean to get rid of Fluff. I believe you
-and Brownlee and Massett want to keep him. If you wanted to get rid of
-him, you could do it the same way you got him."
-
-"That's an excellent idea!" exclaimed Murchison. "That is one of the
-best ideas I ever heard, and I would go and do it if I hadn't done it so
-often already. As soon as Brownlee suggested that idea I did it. I sent
-Fluff by express to a man--to John Smith--at Worcester, Mass., and when
-Fluff came back I had to pay $8.55 charges. But I didn't begrudge the
-money. The trip did Fluff a world of good--it strengthened his voice,
-and made him broader-minded. I tell you," he said enthusiastically,
-"there's nothing like travel for broadening the mind! Look at Fluff!
-Maybe he don't show it, but that dog's mind is so broadened by travel
-that if he was turned loose in Alaska he would find his way home. When
-I found his mind was getting so tremendously broad I stopped sending him
-to places. Brownlee--Brownlee knows all about dogs--said it would not
-hurt Fluff a bit; he said a dog's mind could not get too broad, and
-that as far as he was concerned he would just like to see once how
-broad-minded a dog could become; he would like to have Fluff sent out
-by express every time he came back. He told me it was an interesting
-experiment--that so far as he knew it had never been tried before--and
-that the thing I ought to do was to keep Fluff traveling all the time.
-He said that so far as he knew it was the only way to get rid of Fluff;
-that some time while he was traveling around in the express car there
-might be a wreck, and we would be rid of Fluff; and if there wasn't a
-wreck, it would be interesting to see what effect constant travel would
-have on a coarse dog. He said I might find after a year or two that I
-had the most cultured dog in the United States. Brownlee was willing to
-have me send Fluff anywhere. He suggested a lot of good places to
-send dogs, but he didn't care enough about dog culture to help pay the
-express charges."
-
-"I see, Murchison," I said scornfully, "I see! You are the kind of a man
-who would let a little money stand between you and getting rid of a
-dog like Fluff! If I had a dog like Fluff, nothing in the world could
-prevent me from getting rid of him. I only wish, he was my dog."
-
-"Take him!" said Murchison generously; "I make you a full and free
-present of him. You can have that dog absolutely and wholly. He is
-yours."
-
-"I will take the dog," I said haughtily, "not because I really want a
-dog, nor because I hanker for that particular dog, but because I can see
-that you and Brownlee and Massett have been trifling with him. Bring him
-over in my yard, and I will show you in very short measure how to get
-rid of Fluff."
-
-That afternoon both Brownlee and Massett called on me. They came and sat
-on my porch steps, and Murchison came and sat with them, and all three
-sat and looked at Fluff and talked him over. Every few minutes
-they would--Brownlee and Massett would--get up and shake hands with
-Murchison, and congratulate him on having gotten rid of Fluff, and
-Murchison would blush modestly and say:
-
-"Oh, that is nothing! I always knew I would get rid of him." And there
-was the dog not five feet from them, tied to my lawn hydrant. I watched
-and listened to them until I had had enough of it, and then I went into
-the house and got my shotgun. I loaded it with a good BB shell and went
-out.
-
-[Illustration: 62]
-
-Fluff saw me first. I never saw a dog exhibit such intelligence as Fluff
-exhibited right then. I suppose travel had broadened him, and probably
-the hydrant was old and rusted out, anyway. When a man moves into a
-house he ought to have _all_ the plumbing attended to the first thing.
-Any ordinary, unbroadened dog would have lain down and pulled, but Fluff
-didn't. First he jumped six feet straight into the air, and that pulled
-the four feet of hydrant pipe up by the roots, and then he went away.
-He took the hydrant and the pipe with him, and that might have surprised
-me, but I saw that he did not know where he was going nor how long he
-would stay there when he reached the place, and a dog can never tell
-what will come handy when he is away from home. A hydrant and a piece of
-iron pipe might be the very thing he would need. So he took them along.
-
-If I had wanted a fountain in my front yard, I could not have got one
-half as quickly as Fluff furnished that one, and I would never have
-thought of pulling out the hydrant to make me one. Fluff thought of
-that--at least Brownlee said he thought of it--but I think all Fluff
-wanted was to get away. And he got away, and the fountain didn't happen
-to be attached to the hydrant, so he left it behind. If it had been
-attached to the hydrant, he would have taken it with him. He was a
-strong dog.
-
-"There!" said Brownlee, when we had heard the pipe rattle across the
-Eighth Street bridge--"there is intelligence for you! You ought to be
-grateful to that dog all your life. _You_ didn't know it was against
-the law to discharge a gun in the city limits, but Fluff did, and he
-wouldn't wait to see you get into trouble. He has heard us talking about
-it, Murchison. I tell you travel has broadened that dog! Look what he
-has saved you," he said to me, "by going away at just the psychological
-moment. We should have told you about not firing a gun in the city
-limits. You can't get rid of Fluff that way. It is against the law."
-
-"Yes," said Massett; "and if you knew Fluff as well as we do you would
-know that he is a dog you can't shoot. He is a wonderful dog. He knows
-all about guns. Brownlee tried to make a duck dog out of him, and took
-him out where the ducks were--showed him the ducks--shot a gun at the
-ducks--and what do you think that dog learned?"
-
-"To run," I said, for I had heard about Brownlee teaching Fluff to
-retrieve. Brownlee blushed.
-
-"Yes," said Massett, "but that wasn't all. It doesn't take intelligence
-to make a dog run when he sees a gun, but Fluff did not run like an
-ordinary dog. He saw the gun and he saw the ducks, and he saw that
-Brownlee only shot at ducks when they were on the wing. And he thought
-Brownlee meant to shoot him, so what does he do? Stand still? No; he
-tries to fly. Gets right up and tries to fly. He thought that was what
-Brownlee was trying to teach him. He couldn't fly, but he did his
-best. So whenever Fluff sees a gun, he is on the wing, so to speak. You
-noticed he was on the wing, didn't you?"
-
-I told him I had noticed it. I said that as far as I could judge, Fluff
-had a good strong wing. I said I didn't mind losing a little thing like
-a hydrant and a length or two of pipe, but I was glad I hadn't fastened
-Fluff to the house--I always liked my house to have a cellar---and it
-would be just like Fluff to stop flying at some place where there wasn't
-any cellar.
-
-"Oh," said Massett, "he wouldn't have gone far with the house. A house
-is a great deal heavier than a hydrant. He would probably have moved the
-house off the foundation a little, but, judging by the direction Fluff
-took, the house would have wedged between those two trees, and you would
-have only lost a piece of the porch, or whatever he was tied to. But
-the lesson is that you must not try to shoot Fluff unless you are a good
-wing shot. Unless you can shoot like Davy Crockett, you would be apt to
-wound Fluff without killing him, and then there _would_ be trouble!"
-
-"Yes," said Murchison, "the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals folks.
-There is only one way in which a dog can be killed according to law in
-this place, and that is to have the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
-folks do it. You send them a letter telling them you have a dog you want
-killed, and asking them to come and kill it. That is according to law."
-
-"That," I said firmly, "is what I will do."
-
-"It won't do any good," said Murchison sadly; "they never come. This
-addition to Gallatin is too far from their offices to be handy, and they
-never come. I have eighteen deaths for Fluff on file at their offices
-already, and not one of them has killed him. When you have had as much
-experience with dogs as I have had you will know that the Prevention
-of Cruelty to them in this town does not include killing them when
-they live in the suburbs. The only way a dog can die in the suburbs of
-Gallatin is to die of old age."
-
-"How old is Fluff?" I asked.
-
-"Fluff is a young dog," said Brownlee. "If he had an ordinary dog
-constitution, he would live fifteen years yet, but he hasn't. He has an
-extra strong constitution, and I should say he was good for twenty years
-more. But that isn't what we came over for. We came over to learn how
-you mean to get rid of Fluff."
-
-"Brownlee," I said, "I shall think up some way to get rid of Fluff.
-Getting rid of a dog is no task for a mind like mine. But until he
-returns and gives me back my hydrant, I shall do nothing further. I am
-not going to bother about getting rid of a dog that is not here to be
-got rid of."
-
-By the time Fluff returned I had thought out a plan. Murchison had never
-paid the dog tax on Fluff, and that was the same as condemning him to
-death if he was ever caught outside of the yard, but when he was outside
-he could not be caught. He was a hasty mover, and little things such as
-closed gates never prevented him from entering the yard when in haste.
-When he did not jump over he could get right through a fence. But to
-a man of my ability these things are trifles. I knew how to get rid of
-Fluff. I knew how to have him caught in the street without a license. I
-chained him there.
-
-Brownlee and Massett and Murchison came and watched me do it. Our street
-is not much used, and the big stake I drove in the street was not much
-in the way of passing grocery delivery wagons. I fastened Fluff to
-the stake with a chain, and then I wrote to the city authorities
-and complained. I said there was a dog without a license that was
-continually in front of my house, and I wished it removed; and a week or
-so later the dog-catcher came around and had a look at Fluff: He walked
-all around him while Massett and Brownlee and Murchison and I leaned
-over our gates and looked on. He was not at all what I should have
-expected a dog-catcher to be, being thin and rather gentlemanly in
-appearance; and after he had looked Fluff over well he came over and
-spoke to me. He asked me if Fluff was my dog. I said he was.
-
-"I see!" said the dog-catcher. "And you want to get rid of him. If he
-was my dog, I would want to get rid of him, too. I have seen lots of
-dogs, but I never saw one that was like this, and I do not blame you for
-wanting to part with him. I have had my eye on him for several years,
-but this is the first opportunity I have had to approach him. Now,
-however, he seems to have broken all the dog laws. He has not secured a
-license, and he is in the public highway. It will be my duty to take him
-up and gently chloroform him as soon as I make sure of one thing."
-
-"Tell me what it is," I said, "and I will help you make sure of ft."
-
-"Thank you," he said, "but I will attend to it," and with that he got on
-his wagon and drove off. He returned in about an hour.
-
-"I came back," he said, "not because my legal duty compels me, but
-because I knew you would be anxious. If I owned a dog like that, I would
-be anxious, too. I can't take that dog."
-
-"Why not?" we all asked.
-
-"Because," he said, "I have been down to the city hall, and I have
-looked up the records, and I find that the streets of this addition to
-the city have not been accepted by the city. The titles to the property
-are so made out that until the city legally accepts the streets, each
-property owner owns to the middle of the street fronting his property.
-If you will step out and look, you will see that the dog is on your own
-property."
-
-[Illustration: 72]
-
-"If that is all," I said, "I will move the stake. I will put him on the
-other side of the street."
-
-"If you would like him any better there," said the dog-catcher, "you can
-move him, but it would make no difference to me. Then he would be on the
-private property of the man who owns the property across the street."
-
-"But, my good man," I said, "how _is_ a man to get rid of a dog he does
-not want?"
-
-The dog-catcher frowned.
-
-"That," he said, "seems to be one of the things our lawmakers have not
-thought of. But whatever you do, I advise you to be careful. Do not try
-any underhand methods, for now that my attention has been called to the
-dog, I shall have to watch his future and see that he is not badly used.
-I am an officer of the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals as well as a
-dog-catcher, and I warn you to be careful what you do with that dog."
-
-Then he got on his wagon again and drove away.
-
-The next morning I was a nervous wreck, for Fluff had howled all night,
-and Murchison came over soon after breakfast. He was accompanied by
-Brownlee and Massett.
-
-"Now, I am the last man in the world to do anything that my neighbors
-would take offense at," he said, as soon as they were seated on my
-porch, "and Brownlee and Massett love dogs as few men ever love them;
-but something has to be done about Fluff. The time has come when we must
-sleep with our windows open, and neither Massett nor Brownlee nor I got
-a minute of sleep last night."
-
-"Neither did I," I said.
-
-"That is different entirely," said Murchison. "Fluff is your dog, and if
-you want to keep a howling dog, you would be inclined to put up with the
-howl, but we have no interest in the dog at all. We do not own him, and
-we consider him a nuisance. We have decided to ask you to get rid of
-him. It is unjust to your neighbors to keep a howling dog. You will have
-to get rid of Fluff."
-
-"Exactly!" said Massett. "For ten nights I have not slept a wink, and
-neither has Murchison, nor has Brownlee--"
-
-"Nor I," I added.
-
-"Exactly!" said Massett. "And four men going without sleep for ten
-nights is equal to one man going without sleep forty nights, which would
-kill any man. Practically, Fluff has killed a man, and is a murderer,
-and as you are responsible for him, it is the same as if you were a
-murderer yourself; and as you were one of the four who did not sleep,
-you may also be said to have committed suicide. But we do not mean to
-give you into the hands of the law until we have remonstrated with you.
-But we feel deeply, and the more so because you could easily give us
-some nights of sleep in which to recuperate."
-
-"If you can tell me how," I said, "I will gladly do it. I need sleep
-more at this minute than I ever needed it in my life."
-
-"Very well," said Massett; "just get out your shotgun and show it to
-Fluff. When he sees the gun he will run. He will take wings like a
-duck, and while he is away we can get a few nights' rest. That will be
-something. And if we are not in good condition by that time, you can
-show him the shotgun again. Why!" he exclaimed, as he grew enthusiastic
-over his idea, "you can keep Fluff eternally on the wing!"
-
-I felt that I needed a vacation from Fluff. I unchained him and went in
-to get my shotgun. Then I showed him the shotgun, and we had two good
-nights of sleep. After that, whenever we felt that we needed a few
-nights in peace, I just showed Fluff the shotgun and he went away on one
-of his flying trips.
-
-But it was Brownlee--Brownlee knew all about dogs--who first called my
-attention to what he called the periodicity of Fluff.
-
-"Now, you would never have noticed it," he said one day when Murchison
-and I were sitting on my porch with him, "but I did. That is because I
-have studied dogs. I know all about dogs, and I know Fluff can run. This
-is because he has greyhound blood in him. With a little wolf. That is
-why I studied Fluff, and how I came to notice that every time you show
-him the shotgun he is gone just forty-eight hours. Now, you go and get
-your shotgun and try it."
-
-So I tried it, and Fluff went away as he always did; and Brownlee sat
-there bragging about how Fluff could run, and about how wonderful he was
-himself to have thought of the periodicity of Fluff.
-
-"Did you see how he went?" he asked enthusiastically. "That gait was a
-thirty-mile-an-hour gait. Why, that dog travels--he travels--" He took
-out a piece of paper and a pencil and figured it out. "In forty-eight
-hours he travels fourteen hundred and forty miles! He gets seven hundred
-and twenty miles from home!"
-
-"It doesn't seem possible," said Murchison. "No," said Brownlee frankly,
-"it doesn't." He went over his figures again. "But that is figured
-correctly," he said. "If--but maybe I did not gauge his speed correctly.
-And I didn't allow for stopping to turn around at the end of the out
-sprint. What we ought to have on that dog is a pedometer. If I owned a
-dog like that, the first thing I would get would be a pedometer."
-
-I told Brownlee that if he wished I would give him Fluff, and he could
-put a pedometer, or anything else, on him; but Brownlee remembered he
-had some work to do and went home.
-
-But he was right about the periodicity of Fluff. Almost on the minute at
-the end of forty-eight hours Fluff returned, and Brownlee and Murchison,
-who were there to receive him, were as pleased as if Fluff had been
-going away instead of returning.
-
-"That dog," said Brownlee, "is a wonderful animal. If Sir Isaac Newton
-had that dog, he would have proved something or other of universal value
-by him. That dog is plumb full of ratios and things, if we only knew how
-to get them out of him. I bet if Sir Isaac Newton had had Fluff as
-long as you have had him he would have had a formula all worked
-out--x/y(2xz-dog)=2(4ab-3x) or something of that kind, so that
-anyone with half a knowledge of algebra could figure out the square root
-of any dog any time of the day or night. I could get up a Law of Dog
-myself if I had the time, with a dog like Fluff to work on. 'If one dog
-travels fourteen hundred and forty miles at the sight of a gun, how far
-would two dogs travel?' All that sort of thing. Stop!" he ejaculated
-suddenly. "If one dog travels forty-eight hours at the sight of one gun,
-how far would he travel at the sight of two guns? Murchison," he
-cried enthusiastically, "I've got it! I've got the fundamental law of
-periodicity in dogs! Go get your gun," he said to me, "and I will get
-mine."
-
-[Illustration: 82]
-
-He stopped at the gate long enough to say:
-
-"I tell you, Murchison, we are on the verge of a mighty important
-discovery--a mighty important discovery! If this thing turns out
-right, we will be at the root of all dog nature. We will have the great
-underlying law of scared dogs."
-
-He came back with his shotgun carefully hidden behind him, and then he
-and I showed Fluff the two guns simultaneously. For one minute Fluff was
-startled. Then he vanished. All we saw of him as he went was the dust he
-left in his wake. Massett had come over when Brownlee brought over
-his gun, and Murchison and I sat and smoked while Massett and Brownlee
-fought out the periodicity of Fluff. Brownlee said that for two guns
-Fluff would traverse the same distance as for one, but twice as quickly;
-but Massett said Brownlee was foolish, and that anyone who knew anything
-about dogs would know that no dog could go faster than Fluff had gone
-at the sight of one gun. Massett said Fluff would travel at his regular
-one-gun speed, but would travel a two-gun distance. He said Fluff would
-not be back for ninety-six hours. Brownlee said he would be back in
-forty-eight hours, but both agreed that he would travel twenty-eight
-hundred and eighty miles. Then Murchison went home and got a map, and
-showed Brownlee and Massett that if Fluff traveled fourteen hundred
-miles in the direction he had started he would have to do the last two
-hundred miles as a swim, because he would strike the Atlantic Ocean
-at the twelve hundredth mile. But Brownlee just turned up his nose and
-sneered. He said Fluff was no fool, and that when he reached the coast
-he would veer to the north and travel along the beach for two hundred
-miles or so. Then Massett said that he had been thinking about
-Brownlee's theory, and he _knew_ no dog could do what Brownlee said
-Fluff would do--sixty miles an hour. He said he agreed that a dog like
-Fluff could do thirty miles an hour if he did not stop to howl, because
-his howl represented about sixty horse power, but that no dog could ever
-do sixty miles an hour. Then Brownlee got mad and said Massett was a
-born idiot, and that Fluff not only _could_ do sixty miles, but he
-could keep on increasing his speed at the rate of thirty miles per gun
-indefinitely. Then they went home mad, but they agreed to be on hand
-when Fluff returned. But they were not. Fluff came home in twenty-four
-hours, almost to the minute.
-
-When I went over and told Brownlee, he wouldn't believe it at first, but
-when I showed him Fluff, he cheered up and clapped me on the back.
-
-"I tell you," he exclaimed, "we have made a great discovery. We have
-discovered the law of scared dogs. 'A dog is scared in inverse ratio to
-the number of guns!' Now, it wouldn't be fair to try Fluff again without
-giving him a breathing spell, but to-morrow I will come over, and we
-will try him with four guns. We will work this thing out thoroughly," he
-said, "before we write to the Academy of Science, or whatever a person
-would write to, so that there will be no mistake. Before we give this
-secret to the world we want to have it complete. We will try Fluff with
-any number of guns, and with pistols and rifles, and if we can get one
-we will try him with a cannon. We will keep at it for years and years.
-You and I will be famous."
-
-I told Brownlee that if he wanted to experiment for years with Fluff
-he could have him, but that all I wanted was to get rid of him; but
-Brownlee wouldn't hear of that. He said he would buy Fluff of me if he
-was rich enough, but that Fluff was so valuable he couldn't think of
-buying him. He would let me keep him. He said he would be over the next
-day to try Fluff again.
-
-So the next day he and Murchison and Massett came over and held a
-consultation on my porch to decide how many guns they would try on
-Fluff. They could not agree. Massett wanted to try four guns and have
-Fluff absent only half a day, but Brownlee wanted to have me break my
-shotgun in two and try that on Fluff. He said that according to the law
-of scared dogs, a half a gun, working it out by inverse ratio, would
-keep Fluff away for twice as long as one gun, which would be ninety-six
-hours; and while they were arguing it out Fluff came around the house
-unsuspectingly and saw us on the porch. He gave us one startled glance
-and started north by northeast at what Brownlee said was the most
-marvelous rate of speed he ever saw. Then he and Massett got down off
-the porch and looked for guns, but there were none in sight. There
-wasn't anything that looked the least like a gun. Not even a broomstick.
-Brownlee said he knew what was the matter--Fluff was having a little
-practice run to keep in good condition, and would be back in a few
-hours; but, judging by the look he gave us as he went, I thought he
-would be gone longer than that.
-
-I could see that Brownlee was worried, and as day followed day without
-any return of Fluff, Murchison and I tried to cheer him up, showing him
-how much better we all slept while Fluff was away; but it did not cheer
-up poor Brownlee. He had set his faith on that dog, and the dog had
-deceived him. We all became anxious about Brownlee's health--he moped
-around so; and just when we began to be afraid he was going into a
-decline he cheered up, and came over as bright and happy as a man could
-be.
-
-"I told you so!" he exclaimed joyfully, as soon as he was inside my
-gate. "And it makes me ashamed of myself that I didn't think of it the
-moment I saw Fluff start off. You will never see that dog again."
-
-I told Brownlee that that was good news, anyway, even if it did upset
-his law of scared dogs; but he smiled a superior smile.
-
-"Disprove nothing!" he said. "It proves my law. Didn't I say in the
-first place that the time a dog would be gone was in inverse ratio
-to the number of guns? Well, the inverse ratio to no guns is infinite
-time--that is how long Fluff will be gone; that is how long he will run.
-Why, that dog will never stop running while there is any dog left in
-him. He can't help it--it is the law of scared dogs."
-
-"Do you mean to say," I asked him, "that that dog will run on and on
-forever?"
-
-"Exactly!" said Brownlee proudly. "As long as there is a particle of him
-left he will keep on running. That is the law."
-
-Maybe Brownlee was right. I don't know. But what I would like to know is
-the name of some one who would like a dog that looks like Fluff, and is
-his size, and that howls like him and that answers to his name. A dog of
-that kind returned to Murchison's house a long time before infinity, and
-I would like to get rid of him. Brownlee says it isn't Fluff; that his
-law couldn't be wrong, and that this is merely a dog that resembles
-Fluff. Maybe Brownlee is right, but I would like to know some one that
-wants a dog with a richly melodious voice.
-
-THE END
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of That Pup, by Ellis Parker Butler
-
-*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THAT PUP ***
-
-***** This file should be named 44146.txt or 44146.zip *****
-This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
- http://www.gutenberg.org/4/4/1/4/44146/
-
-Produced by David Widger
-
-Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
-will be renamed.
-
-Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
-one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
-(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
-permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules,
-set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
-copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
-protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project
-Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
-charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you
-do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
-rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
-such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
-research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
-practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is
-subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
-redistribution.
-
-
-
-*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
-
-THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
-PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
-
-To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
-distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
-(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
-Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
-Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at
- www.gutenberg.org/license.
-
-
-Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
-electronic works
-
-1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
-electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
-and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
-(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all
-the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
-all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
-If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
-Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
-terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
-entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
-
-1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be
-used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
-agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few
-things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
-even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See
-paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project
-Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
-and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
-works. See paragraph 1.E below.
-
-1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
-or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
-Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the
-collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an
-individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
-located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
-copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
-works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
-are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
-Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
-freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
-this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
-the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
-keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
-Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
-
-1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
-what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in
-a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check
-the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
-before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
-creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
-Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning
-the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
-States.
-
-1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
-
-1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
-access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
-whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
-phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
-Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
-copied or distributed:
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
-
-1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
-from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
-posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
-and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
-or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
-with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
-work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
-through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
-Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
-1.E.9.
-
-1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
-with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
-must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
-terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked
-to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
-permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
-
-1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
-License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
-work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
-
-1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
-electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
-prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
-active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
-Gutenberg-tm License.
-
-1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
-compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
-word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or
-distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
-"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
-posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
-you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
-copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
-request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
-form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
-License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
-
-1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
-performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
-unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
-
-1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
-access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
-that
-
-- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
- the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
- you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is
- owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
- has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
- Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments
- must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
- prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
- returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
- sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
- address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
- the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
-
-- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
- you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
- does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
- License. You must require such a user to return or
- destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
- and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
- Project Gutenberg-tm works.
-
-- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
- money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
- electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
- of receipt of the work.
-
-- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
- distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
-
-1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
-electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
-forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
-both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
-Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the
-Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
-
-1.F.
-
-1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
-effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
-public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
-collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
-works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
-"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
-corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
-property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
-computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
-your equipment.
-
-1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
-of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
-Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
-Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
-Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
-liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
-fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
-LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
-PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
-TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
-LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
-INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
-DAMAGE.
-
-1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
-defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
-receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
-written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you
-received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
-your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with
-the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
-refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
-providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
-receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy
-is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
-opportunities to fix the problem.
-
-1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
-in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER
-WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
-WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
-
-1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
-warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
-If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
-law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
-interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
-the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any
-provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
-
-1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
-trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
-providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
-with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
-promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
-harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
-that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
-or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
-work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
-Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
-
-
-Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
-
-Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
-electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
-including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists
-because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
-people in all walks of life.
-
-Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
-assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
-goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
-remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project
-Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
-and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
-To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
-and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
-and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org
-
-
-Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
-Foundation
-
-The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
-501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
-state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
-Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
-number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
-Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
-permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
-
-The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
-Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
-throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at 809
-North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email
-contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the
-Foundation's web site and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact
-
-For additional contact information:
- Dr. Gregory B. Newby
- Chief Executive and Director
- gbnewby@pglaf.org
-
-Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
-Literary Archive Foundation
-
-Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
-spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
-increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
-freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
-array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations
-($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
-status with the IRS.
-
-The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
-charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
-States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
-considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
-with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations
-where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To
-SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
-particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate
-
-While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
-have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
-against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
-approach us with offers to donate.
-
-International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
-any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
-outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
-
-Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
-methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other
-ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
-To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate
-
-
-Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
-works.
-
-Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
-concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
-with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project
-Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
-
-Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
-editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
-unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily
-keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
-
-Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
-
- www.gutenberg.org
-
-This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
-including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
-Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
-subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
-
diff --git a/old/44146.zip b/old/44146.zip
deleted file mode 100644
index 911ee49..0000000
--- a/old/44146.zip
+++ /dev/null
Binary files differ
diff --git a/old/readme.htm b/old/readme.htm
deleted file mode 100644
index 4afe879..0000000
--- a/old/readme.htm
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,13 +0,0 @@
-<!DOCTYPE html>
-<html lang="en">
-<head>
- <meta charset="utf-8">
-</head>
-<body>
-<div>
-Versions of this book's files up to October 2024 are here.<br>
-More recent changes, if any, are reflected in the GitHub repository:
-<a href="https://github.com/gutenbergbooks/44146">https://github.com/gutenbergbooks/44146</a>
-</div>
-</body>
-</html>