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@@ -1,34 +1,4 @@ -Project Gutenberg's The Tyranny of Tears, by Charles Haddon Chambers - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: The Tyranny of Tears - A Comedy in Four Acts - -Author: Charles Haddon Chambers - -Release Date: February 11, 2013 [EBook #42068] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TYRANNY OF TEARS *** - - - - -Produced by Paul Haxo from page images generously made -available by the Internet Archive and the University of -California, Los Angeles Library. - - - - +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 42068 *** The Tyranny of Tears @@ -1207,7 +1177,7 @@ don't presume---- GUNNING. I--why, of course not, my dear chap. Only now you see how wise I was -not to intrude after your marriage, not to wait for my conge as the +not to intrude after your marriage, not to wait for my congé as the other poor boys did! I knew something. PARBURY. @@ -1401,7 +1371,7 @@ Certainly! GUNNING. -Good; we'll drink of the Cuvee 36, brush up our swearing vocabulary, +Good; we'll drink of the Cuvée 36, brush up our swearing vocabulary, and I'll teach you to gain perspective! PARBURY. @@ -6652,360 +6622,4 @@ coded as hanging paragraphs. 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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: The Tyranny of Tears - A Comedy in Four Acts - -Author: Charles Haddon Chambers - -Release Date: February 11, 2013 [EBook #42068] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TYRANNY OF TEARS *** - - - - -Produced by Paul Haxo from page images generously made -available by the Internet Archive and the University of -California, Los Angeles Library. - - - - - -The Tyranny of Tears - -A COMEDY -IN FOUR ACTS - -By C. HADDON CHAMBERS - -All rights reserved under the International Copyright Act. Performance -forbidden, and right of representation reserved. Application for the -right of performing the above piece must be made to Charles Frohman, -Empire Theatre, New York. - -BOSTON: WALTER H. BAKER & CO. - -MCMII - - - -THE TYRANNY OF TEARS - -Copyright, 1902, by Walter H. Baker & Co. - -All Rights Reserved. - -PLEASE READ CAREFULLY. - -The acting rights of this play are reserved by the author. Performance -is strictly forbidden unless his express consent, or that of his -representatives, has first been obtained, and attention is called to -the penalties provided by law for any infringements of his rights, as -follows:-- - -"SEC. 4966:--Any person publicly performing or representing any -dramatic or musical composition for which copyright has been obtained, -without the consent of the proprietor of said dramatic or musical -composition, or his heirs and assigns, shall be liable for damages -therefor, such damages in all cases to be assessed at such sum, not -less than one hundred dollars for the first and fifty dollars for -every subsequent performance, as to the court shall appear to be just. -If the unlawful performance and representation be wilful and for -profit, such person or persons shall be guilty of a misdemeanor, and -upon conviction be imprisoned for a period not exceeding one year."--U. -S. REVISED STATUTES, _Title 60, Chap. 3._ - - - -TO - -MY MOTHER - - - -PERSONS CONCERNED - -Mr. Parbury. - -Mr. George Gunning. - -Colonel Armitage, _Mrs. Parbury's father._ - -Mrs. Parbury. - -Miss Hyacinth Woodward. - -Evans, _Parbury's butler._ - -Caroline, _Mrs. Parbury's maid._ - - - -INTRODUCTORY NOTE. - -"The Tyranny of Tears," a comedy of the emotions, is most ingeniously -constructed on the simplest lines; it is a triumph of the commonplace. -Played virtually by five characters, and with but one change of scene, -it has that specious appearance of ease which is due to dexterity of -craftsmanship. It is refreshing, free from theatrical expedients, and -save perhaps for the somewhat accelerated wooing in Act Four, knots -which we are accustomed to see snipped by the scissors of an erratic -fate are here gently untangled by the fingers of probability. The germ -of it, a matter of fortunate selection, is a human foible so universal -that if a man is not conscious of it in his own proper person, he has -not failed to smile over it among his neighbors: that combination of -fondness and egoism out of which tyranny is legitimately born. This is -the keynote; it announces itself speedily upon the raising of the -curtain, and it is never for a moment after obscured by those modern -subtilties calculated to provoke discussion among the elect. The -hearer equipped with ordinary experience finds himself listening to it -with an acquiescent stream of running comment. He knows this alphabet. -It spells familiar words, and they come frequently. Here are -commonplaces which he has failed perhaps to formulate; but now they -flash upon the inward eye with a convincing vividness. This, he sees -at once, is a picture of pink and white tyranny, the triumph of the -weak. Domestic life has been caught and fixed at the culmination of a -strain: one of those dramatic moments when the cord snaps because it -has been for a long time fraying. One party to the contract has drawn -up a code and imposed it upon his mate. The tyrant has some piquancy; -she disarms suspicion because, although a despot, she is masquerading -as something else. Another sort of bully we know: the buckram female, -loud-voiced, militant, announcing herself, like the mosquito, by a -vicious trumpeting. Invulnerability sits on her helm; her armor clanks -a little while she strides. But this new tyrant wears another mien. -Behold her! a soft-cheeked, gentle-handed ministrant, who would have -husbands happy, provided they show the chivalrous courtesy of becoming -so in woman's way. She knows the rules of the game according as her -sex interprets them, and it never enters her ingenuous mind that "in -marriage there are two ideals to be realized." Thus does she make her -gentle progress, the victim beside her crowned with garlands, but yet -a victim. She is the arch destroyer, the juggernaut in muslin. - -As soon, therefore, as she is recognized, there is a great pricking-up -of ears all over the house. Few are they whose withers are unwrung. -Every man among them, primed with his own warfare or that of some -defeated chum, settles down to the play, and wives follow suit with a -guilty sense that such things are, though "not, thank heaven! under -roof of mine." - -A sly humor runs through the piece like a warm-colored thread, a humor -always faithful to those universal traits that make us kin. It asserts -itself robustly from time to time, once, for a notable instance, in -the fact that Parbury is moderately well content in his fool's -paradise until Gunning appears to beckon him out of it. Heretofore he -has accepted his experience like a chronic indigestion or a lameness -to which he was born; but now comes another man like unto himself, and -welds the data of his martyrdom into a cannonball. This man -generalizes, and Parbury at once perceives that husbands are not the -victims of special visitation, but of an epidemic. The thing is -universal. It can be classified; it can even be attacked. He stands -shoulder to shoulder with his suffering brothers, and makes his stroke -for liberty. - -This is everyday life and the dialogue expresses it; the lines are -neither too bright nor good for any drawing-room. Here are no -sky-rocketings to make the hearer gasp at the playwright's cleverness, -while at the same time they accentuate the difference between his own -world and the world as it glitters from the stage. It is the talk to -be expected out of the mouths of admirable yet matter-of-fact persons -with whom we are quite at home. This is the man you meet at any -corner, who is living his life as he conceives it, and is vaguely -discomfited when the pattern comes out wrong. He and his fellow -puppets are related in the most intimate and delightful way to our own -cousins and aunts. It is a group of sharply differentiated types: -Parbury, honey-combed with something that passes for amiability; his -charming ruler; worldly-wise Gunning, fitted like a glove with amiable -cynicisms; the Colonel, clad in rejuvenescence like the spring; and -Miss Woodward, an original piquing to the intelligence of any actress -ambitious to "create a part." - -"The Tyranny of Tears" was first produced at the Criterion Theatre in -London, April 6, 1899, with the following - -CAST OF CHARACTERS: - -MR. PARBURY . . . . . . . . MR. CHARLES WYNDHAM - -MR. GEORGE GUNNING . . . . . . . MR. FRED KERR - -COLONEL ARMITAGE . . . . . . MR. ALFRED BISHOP - -MRS. PARBURY . . . . . . . . . MISS MARY MOORE - -MISS HYACINTH WOODWARD . . . MISS MAUDE MILLETT - -The comedy made an instant and striking success, and ran to enormous -business until the end of the season. It was revived on January 29, -1902, when the press, previously unstinting in its praise, greeted it -with a renewed enthusiasm. The _Times_ says of it, at this second -hearing: "No English dramatist of our time has turned out more -humorous or more human work than this delightful comedy. Every feeling -in it is, as the French say, 'lived,' and every word of it tells. -There is not a false note, no over-strained sentiment, no -over-emphasized phrase in it from one end to the other. Wit it has in -abundance, but not in superabundance--wit, that is, that obviously -belongs to the speaker and does not delusively suggest the author. -Truth, too, it has, but always simple, straightforward, fundamental -truth, truth that comes home to men's business and bosoms, not the -far-fetched truth which costs a headache to master it. . . . The -_Comic Spirit,_ as expounded by Mr. George Meredith, inhabits it. We -laugh at its personages and forgive them with an intimate solace, for -in forgiving them we laughingly forgive ourselves. . . . The whole -tone of the play is quiet, it soothes, it provokes smiles, chuckles, -gentle ripples of laughter. It is a rebuke, a kindly, playful rebuke -to the wild and whirling zealots of theatrical violence. We are -reminded of the praise which Matthew Arnold bestowed upon the style of -Addison--'perfect,' he said, 'in measure, balance and propriety.'" - -Equally warm tributes to the comedy as an unusual work of dramatic art -were accorded on its presentation, September 11, 1899, at the Empire -Theatre, New York, with the following - -CAST OF CHARACTERS: - -MR. PARBURY . . . . . . . . . . . MR. JOHN DREW - -MR. GEORGE GUNNING . . . . . . MR. ARTHUR BYRON - -COLONEL ARMITAGE . . . . . . MR. HARRY HARWOOD - -MRS. PARBURY . . . . . . . . MISS ISABEL IRVING - -MISS HYACINTH WOODWARD . . . . MISS IDA CONQUEST - -Of this performance Mr. J. Ranken Towse, in the New York _Evening -Post,_ says: "Mr. Drew played Parbury with his accustomed neatness and -dexterity. . . . The play, perhaps, may not be quite highly seasoned -enough with dramatic incident for the great mass of the public, but -its ingenuity, its simplicity, its truthfulness and its humor will -commend it strongly to connoisseurs." - -It was afterwards given in the principal cities of the United States -with Mr. Drew as the victimized husband, and met everywhere with the -same enthusiastic favor. This year, 1902, the play was done into -German by Bertha Pozson, and it has been given with extraordinary -success throughout the German Empire. - -Mr. Chambers's earlier work lay more in the direction of strong dramas -such as "Captain Swift," "The Idler," and "John a' Dreams," but the -comedy of these plays, especially the last, was of a character to -foreshadow to some extent the praiseworthy achievement represented by -"The Tyranny of Tears." - -ALICE BROWN. - - - -THE TYRANNY OF TEARS - -ACT I - -SCENE.--_MR. CLEMENT PARBURY'S study at his house in the neighbourhood -of Hampstead Heath. The main entrance leading from the hall is C. A -door, R., leads to the dining-room. A glass door, R.C., opens into a -garden. The fireplace is C. The room is comfortably and not severely -furnished. The furniture is made up of "odds and ends" selected with -taste. The couch down L. is a deep and cosy one; the desk or -writing-table about R.C. is a large and serviceable one. There is a -smaller desk higher up, and near it on wall, R., a telephone -apparatus. The apartment altogether represents the workshop of a -literary man of careless good taste. There is a touch, too, of -femininity in its decorations, and a portrait of MRS. PARBURY is the -only picture on the walls, which otherwise are mostly hidden by -bookcases._ - -[_For a few moments before and when the curtain rises the noise of -street singers is heard. MISS WOODWARD and EVANS are discovered. MISS -WOODWARD is dressed with severe simplicity in a costume of dark -colour, with linen collar and cuffs; her dark hair is drawn back from -her forehead. Her costume, being well cut, does not conceal the -graceful outline of her figure. She is a handsome, innocent, yet -determined-looking girl of twenty. She is at the window looking out._ - -EVANS. - -[_Raising his voice above the outside singers._] They wouldn't listen -to me, Miss Woodward! [_Suddenly the music stops. A pause._] Ah, -they've listened to Mr. Parbury! [_MISS WOODWARD goes to desk, R., -sits._] Mr. Parbury's a very masterful man--outside his house--isn't -he, Miss? [_MISS WOODWARD favours EVANS with a cold stare, then -resumes work at desk._] [_Aside._] What an iceberg that young woman -is! [_Telephone bell rings._] - -[_Exit EVANS, L._ - -[_MISS WOODWARD goes to telephone and takes line._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Speaking into telephone--very sweetly._] Yes, are you -there?--yes--who are you? Speak a little louder, please. Oh!--Well? -Yes--I don't know--Mr. Parbury's just coming in now--he'll speak to -you--keep the line. - -[_She returns to the desk._ - -_Enter MR. PARBURY from garden. His hair is untidy; he is flustered -and cross. He is an agreeable-looking man of about forty._ - -PARBURY. - -Thank heaven, they're gone! This house is a mistake! With the nerve -force one expends in swearing at street singers one might do some good -work. Make a note, please--look for house in secluded part of country. -[_MISS WOODWARD makes note._] And make a note--write _Times re_ Street -Music; suggest Local Option. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -The _Saturday Sentinel_ is waiting to speak to you on the telephone. - -PARBURY. - -Oh, worrying about the article, I suppose. [_Goes to telephone._] -Hullo! hullo! [_Gives them a ring up._] Are you there? [_Crossly._] -Are you there? Well? [_Pause; he listens._] Oh, of course, still -harping on my article. I suppose that's you, Jackson? Oh, well, if -you'll keep this confounded telephone quiet, and send a man to clear -the neighbourhood of street singers, you'll have a chance of receiving -the copy in half-an-hour. What? All right, old man. Yes, yes. I'll -send it by special messenger. Yes. Goodbye! [_Rings off, and hangs up -tube._] That is another mistake--that telephone. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I was afraid you would find it so. - -PARBURY. - -You were right! You are always right! But my wife thought it would -save me a lot of correspondence and a lot of going out. [_Aside, with -a sigh._] I always liked going out. [_Aloud._] Make a note, -please--get rid of the telephone. [_MISS WOODWARD makes note._] [_Goes -to top of table, R.C._] Now we'll get on, please. I've promised the -article in half-an-hour. [_Looks at his watch._] They go to press this -afternoon. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Sits at desk, note-book before her._] Shall I read the last -sentence? - -PARBURY. - -Please. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Reading._] "The pity of it is that Mr. Theodore Bellevue seems to -enjoy a positively huge contentment of his own achievement----" - -PARBURY. - -[_Thinking._] The pity of it--yes--yes, of his own achievement. Yes. -[_Walks the stage._] Achievement [_Under his breath._] Damn the street -singers! Damn the telephone! [_Aloud._] What is it? Oh--ah! -Contentment of his own achievement--er--er-- [_Dictates._] "One -gathers from the complacency of his manner--[_Pause_]--that his -iconoclasm is its own reward--" Er--"What follows in the approval of -the unthinking--the applause of the uncultured--" [_Pause._] What's -that? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -The applause of the uncultured. - -PARBURY. - -"Makes up--makes up--" Er-- [_Pulls his hair._] Er---- - - -_Enter MRS. PARBURY, L. She is a pretty, fragile, little woman of -about twenty-eight, and is charmingly dressed._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I'm not interrupting, am I, darling? - -PARBURY. - -[_Concealing his irritation._] No, darling, but---- - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I'll be ever so quiet. [_Comes to couch, sits L._] - -PARBURY. - -Yes, I know, dear--but, I fear--I fear you'll be rather bored. I'm -dictating an article that _must_ be finished this afternoon---- - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Oh, I shall like it! Go on as if I were not in the room. But oh, how -tumbled your hair is. [_Rises, goes to him._] I must put it straight. -Then you'll be able to think better. There! Now I can see his clever -forehead again! [_Goes to couch and sits._] - -[_PARBURY walks up C. and back, trying to collect his thoughts; then -he looks at MRS. PARBURY with the wish in his face that she were not -there; finally he goes over to MISS WOODWARD and speaks in a lowered -voice._ - -PARBURY. - -[_At top of table, R._] What was that last? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Reading in a lowered voice._] "What follows in the approval of the -unthinking, the applause of the uncultured makes up." - -PARBURY. - -Yes, yes. Makes up! [_Fidgeting._] Makes up-- [_Vaguely._] What does -it make up? I'm damned if I know what it does make up now? I've -forgotten. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Looking up at him with discreet sympathy after a glance at MRS. -PARBURY._] Shall I go back a little? - -PARBURY. - -Please do. Cut the other; it doesn't make up anything. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Reading._] "One gathers from the complacency of his manner that his -iconoclasm is its own reward." - -PARBURY. - -Thanks. Where's his article? - -[_MISS WOODWARD rises, gives him an open magazine, and resumes her -seat._ - -[_After glancing at the magazine, and still in a low voice._] "His -smug self-sufficiency----" [_Pause._] - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Darling! I can't hear you. - -[_Pause. PARBURY'S and MISS WOODWARD'S eyes meet._ - -PARBURY. - -Can't you, dear? I suppose I must unconsciously have lowered my voice. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I'm sure you did. - -PARBURY. - -I've an idea. [_Comes behind her and touches her shoulders -caressingly._] Suppose I finish the article quickly and give it to you -to read before sending it away? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Yes, do. - -[_PARBURY looks at her, expecting her to move, but she doesn't._ - -PARBURY. - -Well, dear! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Wonderingly._] Well? - -PARBURY. - -You--you're not going? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Going! - -PARBURY. - -Yes, dear. I thought---- - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_With great reproach, and looking as if about to cry._] Clement! -[_She rises, and with trembling hands begins to gather up her fancy -work._] - -PARBURY. - -[_Relenting._] Don't go, dear, unless you wish to. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_More tremblingly and tearfully._] I certainly don't wish to remain -where I am unwelcome. - -PARBURY. - -[_Reproachfully._] Mabel! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I thought I had a right to be where my husband was--that the -privileges of a wife were at least equal to those of a secretary. - -PARBURY. - -[_In a low voice._] Hush, dear! [_Turns to MISS WOODWARD, who has been -a secret but attentive observer of the scene._] Miss Woodward, would -you kindly run what we have done into type? We'll finish presently. - -[_MISS WOODWARD rises, takes her notes, and crosses to door, L. At the -screen she pauses a moment, shrugs her shoulders, and exits R.I.E._ - -[_PARBURY passes his arm round MRS. PARBURY._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Freeing herself._] Oh, no; you wished me to go, and I'm going. - -PARBURY. - -It doesn't matter now. [_Grimly._] The article hasn't a million to one -chance of being finished this afternoon. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Why did you send Miss Woodward away? - -PARBURY. - -Frankly? - -[_Puts magazine on table, R._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Of course. - -PARBURY. - -Because I hate scenes before other people. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Scenes! What do you mean? - -PARBURY. - -[C.] What! Isn't there to be a scene? How splendid! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[L.C.] I don't understand the humour you are in. - -PARBURY. - -I'm in a capital humour, dear. You've saved me for the moment from a -savage attack on the work of a man whom I respect and admire. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -You mean simply that I've interrupted your work. You will not have -reason to complain again. - -[_Is going._ - -PARBURY. - -Wait, dear. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -No, no. There are things one can't get over. Perhaps you can explain -why it is that Miss Woodward's presence doesn't disturb you, while -mine does? - -PARBURY. - -Easily. Miss Woodward is a mouse. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I hate mice! - -PARBURY. - -I mean she is a table--a chair--a desk--a dictionary--a something -useful that is always in the right place at the right moment, and yet -of whose presence one is pleasantly unconscious. She is a triumph of -the negative. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -And I? - -[_Her face is not turned to him._ - -PARBURY. - -Positive, my love--quite positive; you bristle with emotions. When you -are in the room, one knows it. [_MRS. PARBURY takes out her -handkerchief and begins to cry. Pause. PARBURY, who has gone to desk, -looks round inquiringly, then comes down gently and sees what she is -doing._] [_Aside._] Exactly! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Wiping her eyes._] Of course I quite understand now that you don't -love me. - -PARBURY. - -[_Comes to her, concealing his impatience._] But I do! I do! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Oh no, you don't! When we were first married you didn't object to my -being in the room when you were working. - -PARBURY. - -I admit I didn't _say_ so then; I was younger, and had more patience -and stronger nerves. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Turning to him with a gleam of anger._] Then you admit you have -always objected to my presence in your study? - -PARBURY. - -[_Smoothly._] I admit I have always felt that a writing man's writing -hours are sacred hours. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -They shouldn't be sacred from his wife. - -PARBURY. - -[_Gently._] They should be sacred _to_ his wife, dear. [_Slight -pause._] If you were a writing woman you would understand what I mean. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I'm sure I'm very sorry I'm not a genius, but you understood that when -you married me, didn't you? - -PARBURY. - -Yes, darling, I quite understood that! [_He appears to say this quite -unconsciously. MRS. PARBURY turns to him deeply offended, then -suddenly goes up to leave the room. He quickly meets her, C._] -[_Taking her hands._] I only knew you were the best little woman in -the world! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Struggling to free her hands._] Don't, please. I'm going! - -PARBURY. - -Where? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -To send Miss Woodward to you, since you prefer her society to mine. - -PARBURY. - -But I tell you I'm scarcely conscious of the girl's existence; anyway, -it was you who brought her here. You may remember I proposed having a -male secretary. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Yes; to make a companion of at my expense. You were always a man's -man! If I had had more experience I would have known that by the host -of men friends you had when we married. - -PARBURY. - -[_Cheerily._] I haven't them now, dear. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -You mean--that I-- [_Struggling to release her hands._] You are most -brutal. Let me go! - -PARBURY. - -Not while you are angry, dear. - -[_Gently forces her into a chair, R.C._ - -[_There is another slight pause. She is certainly angry, but she -doesn't attempt to leave the chair. He looks down at her, and lays a -hand lightly on her hair._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Brushing his hand away._] Please don't do that. I am not a child! -[_PARBURY takes a chair and sits next to her. Pause._] Perhaps you -will tell me why you have used your superior strength to keep me here -against my will? - -PARBURY. - -[_Taking her hand._] Do you know that I'm very much in love with you? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -You in love with me! You don't know what love is! All you feel at this -moment is the sort of insolent pity the strong have for the weak. - -PARBURY. - -You weak, darling! Oh, come! You know better than that! You can't be -unconscious of your power! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I really don't understand you. - -PARBURY. - -I only meant to remind you that after all you do always get your own -way. I'm really very glad, for I'm sure your way must always be the -best way. Oh, the power and determination of this little hand! -[_Holding her hand._] Do let me, with the deepest submission, kiss -"The Mailed Fist." - -[_He kisses her hand._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -As it pleases you to be rude to me I shall try to bear it patiently. - -PARBURY. - -I don't mean to be rude. It's my unfortunate way of putting things. I -kissed your hand because of the real tender love my heart holds for -you, and for the same reason I put back this dear, rebellious little -lock of hair which has escaped from over your ear. And what a perfect -ear! It's as delicate and fragile as a shell, and it's just the -daintiest pink possible. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Mollified._] I know my ears are all right, though I think you are -making fun of me. - -PARBURY. - -I think I'm making love to you. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Suddenly taking one of his hands in hers._] Oh, if you only loved me -in the way I love you! - -PARBURY. - -I love you in a most excellent way. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -But it's different--you don't understand. I love to breathe the air -you breathe, to hear your voice even when it's dictating a dry -article, to listen to your footsteps, to watch the changing -expressions on your face. I live by the warmth your life gives me; you -don't grudge me that, do you? - -PARBURY. - -Why, of course not, darling! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I love this room because it is yours, the surroundings are yours, the -atmosphere is yours. When you are out---- - -PARBURY. - -[_Gently patting her hand._] Which is not often, dear. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -When you are out I always stay here, because here I get most of you; -even the thin odour of cigarette smoke is dear to me. Smoke now. - -PARBURY. - -Shall I? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Gives him a cigarette from his case on table, and lights it._] -That's delightful! [_Sniffs the smoke._] But only because it's you! I -used to detest tobacco. - -PARBURY. - -[_Smiling._] You dear! - -[_Puts his arm around her._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -You understand a little now, don't you? - -[_Putting her head on his shoulder._ - -PARBURY. - -Perfectly! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Rising._] And you are not angry any more? - -PARBURY. - -Was I angry? - -[_Rises._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Horribly! - -PARBURY. - -I'm sorry. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Not vexed about the article? - -PARBURY. - -Bother the article. I knew it hadn't a million to one chance! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -And it doesn't matter? - -PARBURY. - -Not in the least! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Then we may have tea in here? - -PARBURY. - -Rather! Let's go the pace. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Goes to him, standing before him, her hands by her sides._] Kiss me! -[_He kisses her. She throws her arms round him and whispers to him. He -whispers a word in reply. They both laugh slightly, and he playfully -pinches her cheek._] Brute! [_She smooths her hair and goes to door, -L.; turns at door and blows him a kiss, to which he responds._] - -[_Exit MRS. PARBURY, L._ - -PARBURY. - -[_Standing for moment, C., a whimsical look on his face._] Dear little -woman! What a pity she cries so much! [_Puts chair up, R.; goes to -desk and turns over pages of magazine, still continuing his thought._] -What a pity! What a pity! - -_Enter MISS WOODWARD carrying loose type-written MS. PARBURY glances -up from his magazine as she places the leaves on the desk._ - -Oh, thanks! - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Do you wish to finish the article now? - -PARBURY. - -Impossible! Tea will be taken here in a few minutes. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_With a touch of indignant surprise._] Here? . . . Oh, I beg your -pardon! - -PARBURY. - -Not at all! I said here! [_Throws down magazine, goes up to fireplace, -C. MISS WOODWARD permits a slight groan to escape her._] Eh? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Nothing, I didn't speak! - -[_Sits and bends over desk._ - -[_PARBURY looks at her suddenly and keenly as though he had never -noticed her before. Slight pause. She arranges papers at desk. He is -leaning against the mantelpiece._ - -PARBURY. - -Do you know, Miss Woodward, I believe you are more disappointed about -that article than I am. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I was certainly very interested. - -PARBURY. - -Why? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -It was so strong! I admire strength. - -PARBURY. - -[_Smiling._] You are not then quite the machine one gets into the -habit of imagining one's secretary to be? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Meeting his eye calmly and fearlessly for a moment._] I should like -to be what you wish me to be. - -PARBURY. - -[_A little disconcerted._] Humph! [_Stands with his hands in his -pockets looking at her, while she is busy at the desk._] - -[_The door, L., suddenly opens. PARBURY starts almost violently. MRS. -PARBURY puts her head into the room._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Darling, I've got rid of a would-be intruder for you. I thought you'd -like to know. - -PARBURY. - -Thank you, dear; who was it? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -A horrid person named Gunning. There's the creature's card. [_Throws -card into room on to chair by door L._] I knew you'd be pleased, -darling! Tea in five minutes. - -[_Exit MRS. PARBURY, closing door._ - -PARBURY. - -Gunning! Not George surely? [_Quickly gets the card._] It is! My dear -old friend; I wouldn't miss seeing him for worlds! [_Rushes to window, -opens it, and bends out._] Why, there he is, going across the lawn! -[_Shouts._] George! George!! Hi! Gunning!!! - -[_Runs off, R._ - -GUNNING. - -[_Outside, very distant._] Hullo, Clement! - -PARBURY. - -[_Outside._] Wait a moment, old chap! - -[_MISS WOODWARD goes up and looks through window, comes down, and with -her handkerchief carefully dusts a photograph of PARBURY which stands -on book-case up L.C., then looks at the portrait of MRS. PARBURY, -which is C. on wall over mantel, shrugs her shoulders slightly, -returns to desk._ - -_Enter PARBURY and GUNNING, R., through window._ - -PARBURY. - -[_C., speaking as they enter._] Quite a mistake! I assure you, my dear -fellow, my wife gave orders that I was not to be disturbed, thinking I -was engaged upon an important piece of work. - -GUNNING. - -[_Looking at MISS WOODWARD._] Won't you present me to Mrs.---- - -PARBURY. - -[_Hastily._] To Miss Woodward, my secretary--certainly! Mr. Gunning, -Miss Woodward. [_They bow. MISS WOODWARD moves to go._] Don't go, Miss -Woodward. [_Crosses to top of table, R.C. GUNNING puts his hat and -gloves on chair, L._] You might very kindly get rid of some of this -correspondence for me. [_Takes a bundle of letters from desk._] "Dear -Sir,--I would esteem it a great favour if you would send me your -photograph, together with your autograph." [_Throws letter aside, and -reads another._] "My dear Sir,--I have read with the deepest interest -and the highest pleasure your deservedly successful novel, 'The -Overthrow of Harvey Masterton,' and feel convinced that if you knew -the story of my life----" [_Repeats business._] No one can deal with -these people like Miss Woodward. - -GUNNING. - -[_Taking off his gloves._] What is your method, Miss Woodward? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -It is Mr. Parbury's--perfect civility, consistent with finality. - -[_Sits at desk and writes letters._ - -GUNNING. - -Excellent! [_Sits and addresses PARBURY._] I suppose being a popular -author entails a lot of correspondence? - -PARBURY. - -Awful! - -GUNNING. - -[L.C.] For my part, my correspondence is practically nil. - -PARBURY. - -I have noticed it with pain. - -GUNNING. - -Oh, I'd have written to you, but what was the good of it? I'm not -literary, and I'm not married. - -PARBURY. - -And so you've kept away for five years. - -GUNNING. - -About that. - -[_Sits on arm of sofa, L.C._ - -PARBURY. - -Five years and three months--for I've been married all that time, and -you neither came to the wedding nor called on me afterwards. - -GUNNING. - -I was discreet. - -PARBURY. - -Discreet! Damned unfriendly, I call it, considering the years we had -been pals. - -GUNNING. - -Well, the rest of our old set stuck to you, anyway. What has become of -them? Take Wybrow, for instance--an awful good chap! - -PARBURY. - -Wybrow, Wybrow--what _has_ become of Wybrow? - -GUNNING. - -Never comes here, eh? - -PARBURY. - -Well, he did a few times some years ago, but---- - -GUNNING. - -I understand--a little too Bohemian. - -PARBURY. - -[_Quickly._] Not for me, George, I assure you. - -GUNNING. - -No, no, of course not, my dear chap. Exit Bohemian Wybrow. Then there -was Carson--one of the best? - -PARBURY. - -[_Warmly._] Wasn't he a good fellow? - -GUNNING. - -Capital! Where is he? - -PARBURY. - -Married, you know. - -GUNNING. - -So I heard. You meet constantly, of course? - -PARBURY. - -No, we met them at Brighton one winter some years ago, but I don't -think our wives quite--you understand, don't you? - -GUNNING. - -Yes, yes, I understand. You dropped the Carsons. But Burleigh---- - -PARBURY. - -Burleigh--ah! - -[_Laughs._ - -GUNNING. - -There was a great spirit if you like; he was your best man. - -PARBURY. - -Yes; he gave me this watch. - -GUNNING. - -Which you still wear. Touching constancy! When did you see him last? - -PARBURY. - -Wait a moment. What is all this interrogation for? - -GUNNING. - -Idle curiosity if you like--study of life if you like. Come, out with -it, when did you last have dear old Tom Burleigh to dinner? - -PARBURY. - -[_Almost defiantly._] The day we returned from our honeymoon. - -[_Slightly awkward pause._ - -GUNNING. - -[_Musingly._] About five years and six weeks ago. - -PARBURY. - -Of course, I see a lot of him at the Clubs. That is to say, I used to -when I was still a Club man. - -GUNNING. - -Which now you are not? - -PARBURY. - -Which now I am not! What does a man want with a Club when he has a -home of his own? - -GUNNING. - -Excellent sentiment; but neither the sentiment nor the words are your -own, Clement. [_Their eyes meet and they burst into laughter._] I -know, I know; "and what does a man want with men friends when he has a -wife of his own," and "the husband's old friends are the wife's worst -enemies," and "what I say about Clubs is, down with them!" - -[_Laughs, sits on sofa, L.C._ - -PARBURY. - -[_Suddenly serious._] What the devil are you laughing at, George? You -don't presume---- - -GUNNING. - -I--why, of course not, my dear chap. Only now you see how wise I was -not to intrude after your marriage, not to wait for my congé as the -other poor boys did! I knew something. - -PARBURY. - -You always did, you brute! I believe you were born knowing something. -[_Leans on back of sofa._] But seriously [_lowers his voice_], George, -I assure you she's the best little woman in the world! - -GUNNING. - -Why, of course; it would be impious to suggest otherwise. - -[_Exit MISS WOODWARD._ - -[_His eyes follow her off._] A perfect wife, and a charming secretary! -You're a lucky fellow, Clement! - -PARBURY. - -Is Miss Woodward charming? On my word, I hadn't noticed it, but I'm in -love with my wife, you see. - -GUNNING. - -Of course you would be the last to discover that your secretary was -personally pleasing. - -PARBURY. - -You're a sinister scoundrel, George, and coarse to a fault. Now, tell -me what you've been doing all these years--shedding your illusions -apparently. - -GUNNING. - -I've had none to lose since I grew up. I got rid of mine about the -time of measles and whooping-cough. - -PARBURY. - -It's a pity. - -GUNNING. - -Not at all. One can't attain the proper philosophical attitude towards -life while one nourishes illusions; one can never gain perspective. - -PARBURY. - -Great man! How beautifully you talk! I suppose you have quite a nice -thing in perspectives about with you now. - -GUNNING. - -Pretty well. - -PARBURY. - -So much for the journey of the soul. What of the body? Where have you -been? - -GUNNING. - -Round the world twice since I saw you. - -PARBURY. - -What did you see on the other side? - -GUNNING. - -Just what one sees on this side; there is always a man--and a woman. - -PARBURY. - -I know you were adventuring in Upper India last year, for the papers -were full of a rather fine thing you did--saved a lot of miserable -lives--an ordinary, manly, commonplace, heroic, English sort of thing. - -GUNNING. - -Oh, don't mention that; one was carried away by impulse. - -PARBURY. - -And so we keep our impulses even when we lose our illusions; I'm glad -of that anyway. [_Then he comes behind GUNNING'S chair, takes him by -the shoulder, and shakes him._] Old fool! I can't help liking you as -much as ever! - -GUNNING. - -[_Looking up with genuine pleasure._] Really? - -PARBURY. - -Honestly! - -GUNNING. - -[_Rises, puts his hands on PARBURY'S shoulders._] Well, I'm glad, -because I've often been weak enough to regret not seeing you. As for -your literary successes, I suppose I ought to congratulate you; but I -always knew you'd be a great man, because you never bored me. - -PARBURY. - -[_Drily._] Thanks so much. Now tell me how you found me. - -GUNNING. - -By means of the illustrated press--interview with Mr. Clement -Parbury--copyright. The author of the "Overthrow of Harvey something" -at his pretty retreat at Hampstead--copyright. Snapshot of Mr. Parbury -at work--copyright. View of the study from the garden--view of the -garden from the study--copyright. - -PARBURY. - -Shut up! You make me blush. - -GUNNING. - -Forgive me--it's only envy. It's the envious people who call this a -vulgar age, I suppose. - -_Enter SERVANT, L., places occasional table for tea in front of sofa, -L.C., and exits L._ - -PARBURY. - -Now you are to see my wife. How do you imagine her? Large, I suppose, -with huge hands and feet and a beetling brow? - -GUNNING. - -I'm content to wait. - -_Re-enter SERVANT, L., with tea service._ - -PARBURY. - -When you have had tea, you will go away to dress. You will return here -to dinner at eight. - -GUNNING. - -I think not. - -PARBURY. - -One moment. You will probably meet only my wife's father, Colonel -Armitage, and your dinner will be a fairly plain one, but I promise -that your palate will not be outraged. - -GUNNING. - -I really think not, old man. I remember the fate of old Burleigh. And -I never even gave you a watch. - -PARBURY. - -George, you hurt me. [_Slight pause._] Then you refuse? - -GUNNING. - -I make conditions. - -PARBURY. - -What are they? - -GUNNING. - -That you come yachting with me from to-morrow till the end of the -week. I've hired a charming little twenty-tonner, one after your own -heart--that is, if your heart or my memory hasn't entirely changed. - -PARBURY. - -[_Enthusiastic._] Splendid! There's nothing I should like so much; and -I've no special work on hand just now. - -GUNNING. - -Then it's agreed? - -PARBURY. - -Certainly! - -GUNNING. - -Good; we'll drink of the Cuvée 36, brush up our swearing vocabulary, -and I'll teach you to gain perspective! - -PARBURY. - -[_His face suddenly falling._] Oh, the deuce! - -GUNNING. - -What's the matter? What are you afraid of? - -PARBURY. - -Of nothing in the world! - -GUNNING. - -[_Slapping him on the back._] Hero! - -_Enter MRS. PARBURY, L., wearing a bright smile, which fades when she -sees GUNNING._ - -PARBURY. - -Mabel, I want to present you to my dear old friend, George Gunning. My -wife, George. - -[_GUNNING crosses to MRS. PARBURY. Shakes hands._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -How do you do? I'm very pleased. - -[_She gives him simultaneously a cold smile and a stiff handshake._ - -GUNNING. - -I'm very delighted to meet Clement's wife. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -You'll let me give you some tea? - -[_Goes to tea-table; sits on sofa._ - -GUNNING. - -Thank you. [_Aside to PARBURY._] She's charming! - -[_PARBURY digs him in the ribs. GUNNING goes to tea-table. PARBURY -sits at desk._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Handing GUNNING tea-cup._] I've given you no sugar. - -GUNNING. - -I'll take one piece. - -[_Does so._ - -_Enter MISS WOODWARD, R.I.E., with MS., which she hands to PARBURY._ - -PARBURY. - -Thank you. - -[_He reads and signs letters._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Clement, come for your tea. - -PARBURY. - -In one moment, dear. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Miss Woodward, you will take tea? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Thank you, yes. - -GUNNING. - -[_To MRS. PARBURY._] Allow me. - -[_Takes MISS WOODWARD'S cup to her, and offers her bread and butter, -&c._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Thank you. - -PARBURY. - -You've often heard me speak of Gunning, Mabel; we were at Cambridge -together. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Oh yes, I remember! [_To GUNNING._] You were very great friends? - -GUNNING. - -Inseparables! - -PARBURY. - -I should say so! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Uneasily._] Indeed! - -PARBURY. - -[_Comes over and takes his tea._] You see, Gunning had been my fag at -Harrow, and my ill-treatment of him inspired a dog-like devotion. [_To -MISS WOODWARD._] Let me take your cup. [_Adds in a lower voice._] I've -an idea! - -[_MISS WOODWARD goes to desk; PARBURY follows her to desk._] - -GUNNING. - -Let me. - -[_Assists MRS. PARBURY with the tea service._ - -PARBURY. - -[_To MISS WOODWARD in a low voice._] I think I can finish the article -in three sentences. Take your notes into the other room; I'll join you -in a moment. - -[_MISS WOODWARD gathers her notes and exits R._] - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Pouring out a fresh cup of tea for GUNNING._] But of course it's not -in the nature of things that college friendships, however strong, can -last always. Time estranges, doesn't it, Mr. Gunning, and fate drives -people into different--well, different ways of life, doesn't it? Some -men marry soon. Are you married, Mr. Gunning? - -GUNNING. - -Alas, no, Mrs. Parbury! - -PARBURY. - -He has too much respect for your sex, dear. Forgive me for three -minutes. - -[_Exit PARBURY, R._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Not married! Well, I should have thought---- - -GUNNING. - -That I'm old enough to know better. I admit it. - -[_Sits R.C._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Well, I was going to say that in marriage a man changes so much. He -becomes more--more---- - -GUNNING. - -[_Gently._] Respectable? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Well, I wasn't going to say quite that; though, as you suggest it, no -doubt it is true. I was going to say more responsible. He enters into -a broader, a fuller life; he gains in nobility, don't you think? - -GUNNING. - -[_Amused._] Oh, no doubt Clement has improved enormously! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I'm so glad you recognise that. You may smoke, Mr. Gunning, if you -care to. - -GUNNING. - -Thank you. I'll steal one of Clement's cigarettes if I may? - -[_Takes cigarette from box on desk._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Of course Clement was always good and strong and clever. It only -wanted marriage to--to---- - -GUNNING. - -To perfect him! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Well, I was going to say to complete him; but it comes to the same -thing, doesn't it? - -GUNNING. - -Quite, quite! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I found my happiness when I married Clement. - -GUNNING. - -You had been looking for it? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Of course; isn't that every woman's duty? - -GUNNING. - -Yes, yes; and every man's? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Less confidently._] Well, yes, I should think so. - -GUNNING. - -And one's happiness once found is worth fighting for? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Firmly._] Worth fighting very hard for! - -GUNNING. - -[_Drily._] Of course. [_Aside._] Poor Burleigh! - -[_Lights cigarette._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -You, I suppose, have never met a woman who could make you happy? - -GUNNING. - -I have never met a woman whom I was sure of being able to make happy. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Slightly embarrassed._] Oh! - -GUNNING. - -And, anyway, the state of marriage has always appeared to me to be a -state of warfare. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Mr. Gunning, you little know---- - -GUNNING. - -I admit the case of you and Clement to be an exceptional one. I'm -talking of ordinary cases--the average marriage; there you will find, -according to my observation, an endless war--a war of self-interests, -a war of opposing emotions, a war of irreconcilable nervous -organisations---- - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Oh, Mr. Gunning! - -GUNNING. - -Viewed from the hill-tops rather a pitiful sort of war, in which can -be won neither the full joys of love nor the complete glories of -battle. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Oh, Mr. Gunning! - -GUNNING. - -I remain single, Mrs. Parbury, quite without happiness--except in the -reflection that I am neither an oppressor exercising a daily tyranny, -nor a slave rightly struggling to be free. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Of course I don't in the least agree with you. [_The telephone bell -rings._] [_Rising._] There's some one on the telephone--forgive me. -[_Goes to telephone box and puts the communicator to her ear._] Are -you there?--yes--who are you?--the article--yes--no, you can't have it -to-day--no, it hasn't a million to one chance of being finished. [_To -GUNNING, with a smile._] That's Clement's slang, not mine. [_Again -into telephone._] What? - -_Enter PARBURY and MISS WOODWARD, R._ - -I say it hasn't a million to one chance of being finished. - -PARBURY. - -What? Who is it? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -It's the _Saturday Sentinel._ - -PARBURY. - -But, my dear, the article is finished. [_Rushes to telephone._] [_MISS -WOODWARD and GUNNING are laughing secretly. MRS. PARBURY stands C., -rather confused._] [_At telephone._] Hullo! Hullo! Are you there? -[_Rings violently._] Hullo--oh! is that you, Jackson? . . . what's the -matter? [_Rather a long pause. He smiles while listening._] No, no, -not at all, my dear chap. What was said was, 'It's a million to one -you'll have the copy in half-an-hour'--eh?--yes, those were the very -words . . . no, quite a mistake, you don't listen properly. A -messenger has just gone off in a cab with it. What? Yes. [_Laughs._] -All right! Good-bye! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Seeing MISS WOODWARD laughing._] I really don't know what there is -to laugh at, Miss Woodward. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I was only smiling at the messenger in the cab. - -[_Folds MS. and puts it in envelope._ - -PARBURY. - -Yes, send some one at once, please, Miss Woodward. - -[_Exit MISS WOODWARD, R.V.E._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -It wasn't my fault, dear. You know you did use those words. - -PARBURY. - -My fault entirely. [_Aside to GUNNING._] Have you told her? - -GUNNING. - -What? - -PARBURY. - -About the yachting? - -GUNNING. - -Why, of course not. That's your affair, my dear fellow. - -PARBURY. - -[_His hand on GUNNING'S shoulder._] Mabel, dear, we're going yachting -for a few days. I think I want a little change. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Coming towards them, brightly._] Oh, what a good idea! When do we -go? [_PARBURY and GUNNING look at each other._] Are you coming, Mr. -Gunning? - -[_PARBURY presses GUNNING forward. GUNNING looks round at PARBURY -reproachfully. PARBURY goes up stage._ - -GUNNING. - -[_Embarrassed._] Well, it's my yacht, Mrs. Parbury, but she's very -small--only a little tub of a thing; and-- [_Looks at his watch._] By -Jove! I'll never be able to dress and get back for dinner if I don't -hurry. [_Gets his hat and gloves, L. Goes up quickly._] I need only -say _au revoir;_ don't trouble, Clement, I'll find my way out--_au -revoir!_ - -[_Exit GUNNING, L._ - -[_MRS. PARBURY, who is puzzled, sits on sofa._ - -PARBURY. - -[_Calling after GUNNING._] Dinner at eight, remember. - -GUNNING. - -[_Outside._] All right! - -PARBURY. - -[_Shuts the door._] Capital fellow, George Gunning! - -[_Comes to back of sofa._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -What does he mean by a little tub of a thing? Surely we're not---- - -PARBURY. - -No, dear, certainly not. You're quite right. I wouldn't think of -letting you run any risks. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Then we're not going? - -PARBURY. - -No, dear; that is to say, Gunning and I are going. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Rising, aghast._] Without me? - -PARBURY. - -Only for a few days, of course. - -[_Laughing feebly._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -You are not serious? - -PARBURY. - -Quite! - -[_His laugh becomes feebler._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -But--but you never go away without me! - -PARBURY. - -I haven't hitherto, but---- - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Well? - -[_Appears about to cry._ - -PARBURY. - -I've been working very hard, you know, lately. I feel I want a change. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Tearfully._] It doesn't occur to you that I might want a change. - -PARBURY. - -Well, have one, dear. Aunt Martha would be delighted to have you at -Oaklands. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I don't want to go to Aunt Martha. How would you like to go to Aunt -Martha? - -PARBURY. - -[_Suppressing a groan._] What is it you _do_ want? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Quickly._] You! I want to be with you! It's very simple--it's not -asking very much. If you don't like my being with you, why did you -marry me? - -[_Taking out her handkerchief._ - -PARBURY. - -Now, dear, please don't cry! [_Aside._] If she does, I'm done for! -[_Aloud._] It's only common sense that you can't go knocking about -with a couple of men in a tub of a boat. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Of course I quite know now that you don't love me. - -[_Bursts into tears. Sits on sofa._ - -PARBURY. - -[_With real irritation._] Oh, damn it! [_Goes up, but turns quickly -and comes down to her._] 'Pon my soul, you make me almost hate---- - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Of course you hate me. Your old friend has done that for me. You are -breaking my heart! - -PARBURY. - -[_Who has recovered control of his temper and resumed his natural -bantering tone._] Not at all, dear. [_Sits at his desk and affects to -be busy._] I was only going to say that I hated--now, what the deuce -was it I hated?--oh, I know--to see a woman cry. I do think a woman is -wise who does her crying in private, and yet--I wonder--they know -best--millions to one they know best. I must write something about it. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Rises, goes to top of table, R. She is wiping her eyes, her back to -him._] Of course, you're going all the same? - -PARBURY. - -[_Affecting great pre-occupation._] Going? Going where? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -With Mr. Gunning. - -[_Pause. She continues to cry gently._ - -PARBURY. - -Gunning--Gunning!--who's Gunning? Oh--George--yachting, you mean! Not -I! I'm staying here. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Comes towards him gladly, her arms extended._] Clement! - -PARBURY. - -Eh? Oh, forgive me for a few minutes. - -[_Writes._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Reproachfully._] I was only going to kiss you. - -PARBURY. - -[_Writing._] All right, dear--presently--presently, there's a dear -girl! [_MRS. PARBURY has a slow silent exit, looking back at him._] -[_He doesn't look up, but goes on writing. When the door closes, he -puts down his pen._] Oh, the tyranny of it! The tyranny of it! - -[_Slow Curtain._ - -END OF ACT I. - - - -ACT II - -SCENE.--_The same as Act I. Evening after dinner the same day. The -room is lighted with lamps, but as it is a still warm evening, the -curtains are not drawn over the glass door which leads into the garden -and is open._ - -[_Enter EVANS, L. He places cigars and cigarettes on occasional table, -and lights a small spirit cigar-lamp._ [_Exit._] _Voices of ladies and -a ripple of laughter heard from the drawing-room, and for a moment the -sound made by fingers running lightly and irresponsibly over the keys -of the piano. Enter COLONEL ARMITAGE, followed by GUNNING and PARBURY. -ARMITAGE goes to mantelpiece. GUNNING selects the easiest chair in the -room. PARBURY goes to occasional table. ARMITAGE is a well-preserved -man of sixty-five, very carefully dressed--something of an elderly -dandy._ - -PARBURY. - -Cigarette or cigar, George? - -GUNNING. - -Thanks, I have a cigarette. - -[_Takes one from his case and lights it._ - -PARBURY. - -Colonel? - -COLONEL. - -Thank you, I'll take a cigar. I think, however, I'll--er--smoke it in -the garden. Mabel's limited appreciation of tobacco---- - -PARBURY. - -Oh, Mabel won't mind--she's quite educated. - -COLONEL. - -Not beyond the cigarette, I fancy. - -[_He strolls to the glass door, lights his cigar, and steps out. For a -few moments he is still seen, then he wanders away._ - -GUNNING. - -Nice old chap, your father-in-law. - -PARBURY. - -Isn't he? I'm quite fond of him. [_Pause. They smoke in silence, -PARBURY standing at mantelpiece._] What are you thinking of? - -GUNNING. - -I'm not thinking. I'm digesting. I had an excellent dinner. - -_Enter EVANS with coffee, &c. GUNNING takes coffee._ - -EVANS. - -Cognac, sir, or green chartreuse? - -GUNNING. - -Cognac. [_He takes glass._] Thank you. - -PARBURY. - -Colonel, here's your coffee. - -COLONEL. - -[_Outside._] I'll have it out here, if I may. - -[_PARBURY takes his coffee and liqueur._ - -PARBURY. - -Serve Colonel Armitage's coffee in the garden. - -EVANS. - -Yes, sir. - -[_Exit EVANS, L._ - -GUNNING. - -I've wired for the champagne. - -PARBURY. - -[_Uneasily._] Oh, yes! - -[_Slight pause._ - -GUNNING. - -I notice the glass keeps up well. - -PARBURY. - -Really? Good! - -[_Slight pause._ - -GUNNING. - -Yes, we ought to have capital weather. - -PARBURY. - -Capital! [_He is very embarrassed._] If it doesn't rain it'll be -pretty--er--fine. - -[_Drinks. Puts his cup on mantelpiece._ - -GUNNING. - -[_Favours him with a slow stare._] What's the matter, old man? - -PARBURY. - -Nothing in the world. Why? - -GUNNING. - -Oh, it doesn't matter. But I think the change will do you good. -[_Slight pause._] By the way, would to-morrow afternoon suit you for a -start? - -PARBURY. - -[_Standing with his back to the fireplace, looking up at the -ceiling._] I'm not going, old man. - -GUNNING. - -[_Indifferently._] Oh! - -_Re-enter EVANS, R., from garden, and exit L. Silence till he has -gone._ - -PARBURY. - -Well, you don't seem surprised. - -GUNNING. - -[_Effecting a yawn._] I never permit myself to be surprised. - -PARBURY. - -Or disappointed. - -GUNNING. - -Oh yes, I own I'm disappointed. I looked for a good time for a few -days. You were the only one of the old lot available, and you were the -best of them. I can't bear the new lot. They wear strange colours, -drop their "g's," and get on one's nerves. - -PARBURY. - -I'm really sorry, George. - -GUNNING. - -Don't bother. One simply goes alone. [_Discreetly._] The calls of -business are often irresistible. - -PARBURY. - -Don't rot. You know what the situation is. - -GUNNING. - -Mine is one of those poor intelligences that never know without -information. - -PARBURY. - -I'll supply it. - -[_Sits on arm of chair, R.C._ - -GUNNING. - -Don't, if it matters. - -PARBURY. - -I will, though it does matter. [_Grimly._] My wife wept. - -GUNNING. - -Unanswerable argument. - -PARBURY. - -Quite. George, what the devil is a man to do? - -GUNNING. - -I knew a man who once interfered between a husband and wife who were -disagreeing. The husband and wife each got a black eye. The man got -two. - -PARBURY. - -You might at least talk. - -GUNNING. - -Oh, certainly. - -PARBURY. - -You know the situation. - -GUNNING. - -Well, if one dare say so, I fancy you are suffering from the tyranny -of a fascinating egoism. - -PARBURY. - -I'm suffering from the tyranny of tears. - -GUNNING. - -What I can't understand is how a man of your strong nature arrived -where you are. - -PARBURY. - -I'll make an effort to tell you. To begin with, I suppose I'm fairly -good-natured. - -GUNNING. - -Oh yes! - -PARBURY. - -Or say, if you like, of indolent habit, which after all often passes -for the same thing. Then of course I was in love--I am still. One -drifted. It's so easy to give way in little things--really not -unpleasant when you're in love. And then there's one's work, which -fills the mind and makes the little things appear smaller than they -are. I say one drifted. - -GUNNING. - -Sometimes, if I know you, you rebelled. What then? - -PARBURY. - -[_Promptly._] Tears! And over such absurdly paltry things! Oh, the -farcical tragedy of it all! I wished to go shooting for a few days. -Tears! I fancied dining and spending the evening with an old chum. -Tears! I would go on a walking tour for a week. Tears! Some one would -ask me for three days' hunting. Tears! Tears, you understand, always -on hand. Tears--tears--tears _ad----_ [_Pulling himself up._] No. - -GUNNING. - -[_Quietly._] No--not _ad nauseam._ - -PARBURY. - -No, that would be too low a thing to say. - -[_Goes up R.C. Takes stopper out of the decanter._ - -GUNNING. - -Do you know, Clement, I really like you tremendously. - -PARBURY. - -Thanks, old man. Have some more brandy? - -GUNNING. - -No thanks. [_Pause._] Don't stop. I'm interested. - -PARBURY. - -That's all. I drifted, almost unconsciously, right up to to-day, for -all the world like the man in the moral story-book one read as a child -on Sundays, who drifted in his boat on the Erie River towards Niagara. -To-night I'm conscious--I'm awake--I can feel the water gliding along -the boat's keel. I can see Niagara. I don't like it. What the devil's -one to do? - -GUNNING. - -Get out and walk. - -[_Pause. They smoke._ - -PARBURY. - -Of course, I shall change it all. I must, but it will be beastly work. - -GUNNING. - -Beastly. When do you begin? - -PARBURY. - -When occasion serves. I can't go back over this yachting business. -I've said I'm not going. - -GUNNING. - -Quite right. - -[_Slight pause._ - -PARBURY. - -Oh, if the _exigeant_ women only knew--if they only knew! - -_Enter COLONEL ARMITAGE, R._ - -Talking of brandies, this is Hennessy '63. Have some, Colonel? - -COLONEL. - -Perhaps half a glass. - -[_Takes brandy and sits._ - -_Enter MRS. PARBURY, L., from drawing-room._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Miss Woodward and I are boring each other. Shall we come to you, or -will you come to us? [_GUNNING and ARMITAGE rise._] There, the -question's answered. - -[_Sits on sofa, L._ - -_Enter MISS WOODWARD, L. She goes to the desk._ - -GUNNING. - -[_To MRS. PARBURY._] You were playing the piano just now? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Yes, but I play wretchedly nowadays. I gave up practising when we -married. - -GUNNING. - -One should never give up an accomplishment. - -COLONEL. - -You used to play charmingly, Mabel. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -You thought so, dear, and that was enough for me. [_She rises and -crosses to C._] Why don't we sit in the garden? It's a perfect night. -[_COLONEL strolls off to garden._] [_MRS. PARBURY goes to PARBURY, who -is standing by fireplace, and takes his arm. In a low voice._] Are you -still angry? - -PARBURY. - -[_As they go out to the garden._] I angry with you! Nonsense. [_He -pats her hand._] Poor little woman! Poor little woman! - -[_Exit MR. and MRS. PARBURY._ - -GUNNING. - -[_Crossing to R.C. top of the table._] Are you not coming, Miss -Woodward? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -No, thank you. I have some work to do. - -GUNNING. - -But you seem to me to be always working. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I needn't, you know. I do it because I like it. - -GUNNING. - -What are you doing now? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Correcting proof sheets of a new novel. It will save Mr. Parbury the -trouble of doing it to-morrow. - -GUNNING. - -I wanted you to talk to me. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -What about? - -GUNNING. - -Yourself. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I'm not interesting. - -GUNNING. - -On the contrary. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -What do you wish to know? - -GUNNING. - -All about you. May I? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Will you go away and leave me to work if I tell you? - -GUNNING. - -Yes. - -[_Comes down by chair R.C._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Putting down her pen, and resting her cheek on her hand._] I'm the -thirteenth daughter of a parson. Why my parents had thirteen -daughters, I don't know; but I suppose it was because they are very -poor. We were all given the names of flowers--Rose, Lily, Tulip, -Mignonette--I can't remember them all--but Hyacinth fell to my lot. -Why we were called after flowers, I don't know; but I suppose it was -because we are none of us the least like flowers. My eldest sister -married my father's curate. I don't know why, but I suppose it was -because she came first and is the plainest in the family. - -GUNNING. - -[_Laughing._] Yes, well? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Speaking in an even, emotionless way._] Two other of my sisters run -a Kindergarten, and one other is a governess. Personally I would -rather be a domestic servant. The others remain at home, help in the -house, and await husbands. I fear they will wait in vain, because -there are so many women in our part of the country and so few men. For -my part I seized an early opportunity of learning shorthand and -typewriting--and--well, here I am. Now you know the story of my life. - -[_She returns to her work._ - -GUNNING. - -I'm afraid it was deuced impertinent of me to ask. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Not at all--only eminently man-like. - -[_Pause. She works, he smokes._ - -GUNNING. - -And so you have found your happiness. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Oh no. I've only just started to look for it. - -GUNNING. - -Oh ho! Ambitious! - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Very. Have you ever been poor? - -GUNNING. - -Yes, at one time--had to pawn things. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I mean being one of fifteen in family--large inferior joints to last -for days--hot, cold, hashed, minced, shepherd's pie--[_GUNNING -shudders at this_]--too much potatoes--too much boiled rice--too much -bread and dripping--too much weak tea--too much polishing up of things -not worth polishing up--too much darning on too little material--and -for ever giving thanks out of all proportion to the benefits received. -I wish some one would write the history of a hat or a frock--I mean a -hat or a frock that has marched steadily and sullenly under various -guises through an entire family such as ours, from the mother down to -the youngest girl. What might be written of the thoughts that had been -thought under such a hat, or of the hearts that had felt under such a -frock! - -GUNNING. - -Why don't you write the story? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Perhaps some day I shall try. [_Returns to her work._] In the meantime -you ought to go. You promised, you know. You have nothing more to -learn. I don't think in all my life I've talked so much about myself -as I have to you, a stranger. - -[_She keeps her eyes on her work._ - -GUNNING. - -You have been engagingly frank. I do hope I shall have another -opportunity---- - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Not at all likely, Mr. Gunning. [_Pause._] Goodnight. [_Still without -looking up._] - -[_GUNNING looks at her, goes up to the window, turns, looks at her -again._ - -GUNNING. - -[_At window._] Good-night, Miss Woodward. - -[_Exit to garden, R._ - -[_MISS WOODWARD goes on with her work for a few moments, then drops -her face on her hand in her favourite attitude._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Soliloquising._] Rather than go back, I--well, I know I'd rather -die. [_She looks over the pages for a moment or two, then yawns -slightly; she gathers her pages together and places a paperweight over -them._] That will have to do. [_She rises, looks off R._] There was -actually a man ready to take a sort of languid interest in me. Quite a -new experience. [_She takes up PARBURY'S photograph and speaks to -it._] You don't take an interest in me of any kind, do you? [_To the -photograph._] You never will, and I don't think I want you to. But I -do want to stay near you, because you are so strong-- - -_Enter MRS. PARBURY from garden carrying the COLONEL'S coffee cup and -saucer._ - ---and so weak, and so kind, and so foolish. - -[_MRS. PARBURY has come down and is watching her unobserved. MISS -WOODWARD slowly raises the photograph to her lips. The cup and saucer -drop from MRS. PARBURY'S hand to the floor and are broken. MISS -WOODWARD, much startled, slowly turns towards MRS. PARBURY, and their -eyes meet. There is a pause. Suddenly, with a quick movement, MRS. -PARBURY snatches the photograph from MISS WOODWARD._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -How dare you! How dare you! [_Long pause. She is almost breathless. -Then she partly regains self-control._] What train do you intend -taking? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[R.C.] I don't understand you. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I mean for your home, of course. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Moves as if she had received a blow, and clasps her hands -together._] I am not going home. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Oh, indeed you are. You don't suppose you can stay here, do you? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Why shouldn't I? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -How dare you ask that when I have just caught you in the act of -kissing my husband's photograph? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -That was in a moment of abstraction. I wasn't even thinking of Mr. -Parbury. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Oh! And you are the daughter of a clergyman! [_She goes up and fetches -the A.B.C. from bookcase, and offers it to MISS WOODWARD._] Here is -the A.B.C. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Turning away._] I have no use for it just now, thank you. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Then I'll look you out an early morning train myself. [_Sits L._] Let -me see--[_turning over leaves_]--Carfields, Worcestershire, isn't it? -Here it is. 7.20. I suppose that's too early. 9.35; that will do. -Please understand you are to take the 9.35 from Paddington in the -morning. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Firmly._] I shall do nothing of the kind. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Ignoring the remark._] In the meanwhile there is no necessity that -my husband should know the reason of your going. You can make some -excuse. I wouldn't have him know for worlds. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Of course he shall never know from me--but I want you to quite -understand, Mrs. Parbury, that I am _not_ going to Carfields -to-morrow. Rather than go home under the circumstances I would starve -in the gutter. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Well, you must find a lodging till you get other employment. You will -have a month's salary, of course. Anyway, I'm determined you leave -this house in the morning. - -[_Goes up C. Puts A.B.C. on chair up L.C._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Is there any real occasion for my leaving? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Haven't you sufficient delicacy of feeling left to teach you that? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Warmly._] I don't think I need lessons of delicacy of feeling from -you. [_Slight pause._] I'm sorry I said that, and it means a great -deal for me to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry too about the photograph. I -think it all might be forgotten. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Forgotten! - -MISS WOODWARD. - -After all, I'm only a girl; and I've worked very hard for Mr. Parbury. -I think you might be more lenient. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_At fireplace._] I'm very sorry for you, Miss Woodward; but I owe a -duty to myself and to my husband. You must go in the morning. - -[_She moves to return to garden._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Crosses to L.C._] Mrs. Parbury! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Well? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I suppose I ought to be a lady and go, because you, the mistress of -the house, wish me to. But I don't feel a bit like a lady just now. I -only feel like a poor girl whose chances in life are being ruined for -a very small and innocent folly. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Well, what does all this mean? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Fiercely._] It means that I am in Mr. Parbury's employment, not -yours, and that I will take my dismissal from him only. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Oh, I can promise you that. [_She calls into the garden._] Clement! - -[_Exit MRS. PARBURY to garden, R._ - -[_MISS WOODWARD throws a hard look after her. Then her eyes fall on -the broken cup and saucer. She stoops, collects the fragments, and -puts them in waste-paper basket. Then she goes to desk, sits and works -on proof sheets as before._ - -_Enter MR. and MRS. PARBURY, R._ - -PARBURY. - -Working again, Miss Woodward! Really, you are indefatigable! - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I'm only correcting these proof sheets. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -No doubt Miss Woodward wishes to finish the work to-night, as she is -leaving to-morrow. - -PARBURY. - -Leaving to-morrow? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I think Mrs. Parbury is mistaken. - -PARBURY. - -[_To MRS. PARBURY._] What do you mean, dear? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I wish her to go. - -PARBURY. - -Why? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I can't tell you. It is not a thing you would understand. It is simply -impossible for her to remain. In her heart she knows I am right. - -[_Slight pause. PARBURY goes to MISS WOODWARD._ - -PARBURY. - -Are you satisfied here? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Perfectly. - -PARBURY. - -You have no wish to go away? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Not while you wish me to remain. - -PARBURY. - -Do you know why my wife wishes you to go? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Yes. - -PARBURY. - -Will you kindly tell me? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I'm sorry I can't. I've promised. But--[_with a look at MRS. -PARBURY_]--I don't think that Mrs. Parbury's reasons are adequate. - -[_Pause. PARBURY is thoughtful._ - -PARBURY. - -[_To MRS. PARBURY._] Have you anything more to say? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I have only to repeat that it is quite impossible for Miss Woodward to -stay. - -PARBURY. - -Well, I have made up my mind that there is something very foolish -under all this, and I shall not allow it to deprive me of Miss -Woodward's services. [_MRS. PARBURY looks surprised._] I don't mind -saying in her presence that she is invaluable to me. I should never be -able to replace her. [_Sense of relief on MISS WOODWARD'S part._] Now, -come. [_Looking from one to the other._] What is it? A tiff--a stupid -misunderstanding? Oh, you women, why will you fuss about little -things? Make it up, do. Think of "The Roll of Ages." Shake hands, cry, -embrace, kiss, or whatever your pet method may be. Weep if you like, -though personally I'd rather you didn't. Anyway, as far as I am -concerned, the incident is closed. - -[_He turns to go._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Doggedly._] Miss Woodward leaves this house in the morning. - -PARBURY. - -[_Looks at his wife for a moment, then turns to MISS WOODWARD._] Miss -Woodward, would you be so very kind---- - -[_He opens the door for her with great courtesy. MISS WOODWARD bows, -and exits L. He comes to C._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Turning to him with assumed brightness._] Now, darling, it will be -different. Of course, I couldn't say much before her. You were quite -right to be nice and courteous to her now she is going. - -PARBURY. - -But I assure you she is not. - -[_They are C. MRS. PARBURY takes his arm caressingly._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -But she is--believe me, she is. Of course, we don't want to be hard on -her, and she shall have a month's salary and a strong recommendation. - -PARBURY. - -[_Disengaging his arm._] My dear Mabel, I absolutely refuse to act in -the dark. I hate mysteries. If you care to tell me what all this -bother is about, I'll judge for myself what's the right thing to do. - -[_Sits on sofa._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I can't--it's impossible. There are some things that men can't be -trusted to know about. You must leave this matter to me. - -[_Sits next him._ - -PARBURY. - -That I quite decline to do. - -[_She again takes his arm and talks rapidly, gradually rather -hysterically, towards the end appearing about to cry._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Darling, do listen. You don't understand. You have never been like -this with me before. I'm sure I'm not asking very much. You can easily -get another secretary. Another time you shall have a man one, as you -originally wanted to. You were right, dear--you often are. [_PARBURY -rises; crosses to R. MRS. PARBURY follows him._] Darling, do be -reasonable. I've been a good wife to you, haven't I? I've always -respected your wishes, and not bothered you more than I could help. -This is only a little thing, and you must let me have my own way. You -must trust me absolutely, dear. You know anything I would do would -only be for your good, for you know that I love you. [_She takes out -her handkerchief._] I adore you, darling. You must give way--you -must--you must! - -PARBURY. - -[_Stepping back from her._] If you cry I shall leave the room. - -[_Sits R. Begins to write._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_With her back to the audience, in a low voice._] I wasn't going to -cry. - -PARBURY. - -I'm glad to hear it. - -[_MRS. PARBURY puts her handkerchief away and turns._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I had no intention of crying, dear. [_PARBURY still writes. Pause. She -comes to desk._] Shall I write out an advertisement for you, dear? - -PARBURY. - -What for? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -For a new secretary--a man. - -PARBURY. - -No. My mind's made up. I shall not change my secretary. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Clement! - -PARBURY. - -[_Rises and goes to her._] Listen, my dear Mabel. Perhaps I'm a good -deal to blame for the pain you are going to suffer now, and I'm very -sorry for you; in many ways you are the best little woman in the -world. I've been weak and yielding, and I've gradually allowed you to -acquire a great deal more power than you know how to use wisely. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Really, Clement, you must be raving. - -PARBURY. - -Listen, my dear, listen. What's been the result? You've taken from me -my habits. You've taken from me my friends. You've taken from me my -clubs. You've taken from me my self-esteem, my joy in life, my high -spirits, the cheery devil that God implanted in me; but, damn it, you -must leave me my secretary. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Excitedly walking the stage._] Oh, I understand now. You use this -exaggerated language, you make these cruel accusations, you work -yourself into a passion, because you have grown to think more of Miss -Woodward than of me. - -PARBURY. - -Now you know that to be a purely fantastic interpretation of what I -said. [_She takes out handkerchief._] I observe with pain, too, that -you are about to cry again. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Puts handkerchief up her sleeve, controls her anger, and becomes -very determined._] You are quite wrong. Probably I shall never again -know the relief of tears. Your callousness and obstinacy seem to have -dried up all the tenderness in me. Miss Woodward leaves this house in -the morning, or _I_ leave it to-night. - -PARBURY. - -[_Coming to her._] Oh, come, come, Mabel, that is too ridiculous. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I'm very, very serious. Please, for your own sake, understand that. -Which is it to be? - -PARBURY. - -There, dear, let's drop it now. Don't you think domestic squabbles -like this, besides being boring, are just a little--may one say it, -vulgar? Let's go back to the garden. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Which is it to be? - -PARBURY. - -[_Shrugs his shoulders._] Of course, you know I'm decided. Miss -Woodward stays. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Very well. - -[_She goes to bell L. of fireplace and rings. PARBURY goes up, takes a -book, and negligently turns over the leaves, secretly, however, -watching his wife. Pause until_ - -_Enter EVANS, L._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Where is Caroline? - -EVANS. - -She's in her room, ma'am. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Send her to me, please. - -EVANS. - -Yes, ma'am! - -[_Exit EVANS, L._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I needn't keep you from your friend, Mr. Gunning, any longer. - -PARBURY. - -I'm all right here, dear; I'm perfectly contented. [_He turns over -leaves._] There is such a wise passage here. I'd like to read it to -you. [_She makes a gesture of irritation._] No! Well, it must keep. - -_Enter CAROLINE, L._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Caroline, I shall want you to pack a few things for me. - -CAROLINE. - -What shall you want, ma'am? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I'll come upstairs and show you. - -CAROLINE. - -Yes, ma'am. - -[_Exit CAROLINE, L. Slight pause._ - -PARBURY. - -[_Rising from his leaning attitude against table up stage, putting -down the book, and coming down two steps._] You foolish little woman. -You know this is impossible. Be reasonable. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Firmly._] Which is it to be? - -PARBURY. - -[_With a gesture conveys that the subject is closed and returns to his -former attitude._] I think I have a right to ask what you propose -doing. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I propose going home with my father. - -[_The laugh of the COLONEL is heard in the garden. Then he appears at -the entrance, still laughing. GUNNING appears behind him. The COLONEL -enters. GUNNING remains at the window smoking._ - -COLONEL. - -[_To PARBURY._] That's really the funniest thing I've heard for years. -Have you heard that story, Clement? - -PARBURY. - -What story? - -COLONEL. - -Story of--[_Then he sees MRS. PARBURY._] Oh, quite a drawing-room -story, believe me, dear. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Father, I wish to speak to you. - -COLONEL. - -Certainly, dear. What is it? - -[_Crosses to sofa, L. Sits. PARBURY exchanges a look with GUNNING._ - -GUNNING. - -[_Coming down quickly._] Mrs. Parbury, I must reluctantly say -good-night. Your charming house is almost in the country, and I've to -get back to London. I thank you for---- - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Interrupting._] Please don't go, Mr. Gunning. It's quite early, and -Clement and you, as such _very old_ friends, must still have a great -deal to talk about. - -PARBURY. - -[_Taking GUNNING'S arm._] No, George, you really mustn't go. - -[_Leads him up to window, R._ - -GUNNING. - -I assure you, my dear chap---- - -PARBURY. - -[_Interrupting._] But I make it a personal favour. Dear student of -life, stay and observe. - -[_They remain up at window._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Dear father, I wish you to take me home with you to-night. - -COLONEL. - -[_Surprised._] Certainly, dear, but---- - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Don't question me. [_Puts her hand on his shoulder._] You love me, -don't you? - -COLONEL. - -Naturally, my dear. But nowadays, of course, I take second place. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I thought so too, but I was wrong. Wait for me a few minutes. - -COLONEL. - -[_Hesitatingly, after glancing at PARBURY and again at his daughter._] -One moment, Mabel. This is all so sudden. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Father, do you hesitate to receive me? - -COLONEL. - -Good heavens, no! But Clement---- - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Shhh! - -[_Puts her hand over his mouth._ - -COLONEL. - -Oh! I was thinking, my dear, that unfortunately there is no mother to -receive you now. I'm only an old bachelor, and you'll be--er--give me -a word. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Kisses him, and goes to door, L. She looks across the room at her -husband, and then whispers to herself._] He'll never let me go. - -[_Exit, L._ - -PARBURY. - -[_To GUNNING._] She'll not go, my dear fellow. - -GUNNING. - -Humph! You think not? Anyway, _I_ must, - -PARBURY. - -Don't. - -GUNNING. - -The domestic atmosphere is volcanic, and I feel remorseful. - -PARBURY. - -Nonsense, it had to come. You must see me through it now. - -GUNNING. - -How beastly selfish you married men are! - -[_They come down._ - -COLONEL. - -Clement, I'm in a difficulty. - -PARBURY. - -You mean about Mabel, Colonel? - -COLONEL. - -Yes. - -PARBURY. - -She proposes going home with you. - -COLONEL. - -Yes. - -PARBURY. - -[_Smiling confidently._] I don't think she'll go. - -_Enter EVANS, L._ - -EVANS. - -[_To COLONEL._] Your carriage, sir. [_PARBURY looks uneasy._] - -[_Exit EVANS, L._ - -COLONEL. - -[_Whistles. Looks at his watch._] I think she means it. I ordered my -man to wait in the Avenue till he was called. Mabel has evidently had -him called. - -[_PARBURY is thoughtful._ - -COLONEL. - -I don't wish to be in the least degree meddlesome; but, well, there it -is! - -PARBURY. - -The question, I suppose, is what's it all about? - -COLONEL. - -Well, yes. I suppose that's it; although I don't in the least wish to -know. - -PARBURY. - -You hear, George; what's it all about? - -GUNNING. - -[_Down R., almost angrily._] Now, how the deuce should I know? -Colonel, you would be very kind if you would use your authority to -prevent Clement dragging me into his domestic difficulties. Married -men have a cowardly way of endeavouring to involve their friends. -Perhaps you have noticed it. - -COLONEL. - -I have, Mr. Gunning. My experience of married life extended over a -period of twenty-six years. - -GUNNING. - -May one discreetly express the hope that they were very happy years? - -COLONEL. - -Very happy years, with, however, I must admit, intermittent troubles. -Mabel's mother was one of the best women in the world, but, if I may -say so without disloyalty, she was just a little--a little--er--give -me a word. - -PARBURY. - -Would the word _exigeant_ apply? - -COLONEL. - -Admirably. Perhaps you have noticed in Mabel the slightest tendency? -Eh? - -PARBURY. - -Well, well! - -COLONEL. - -Her mother's jealousy, too, was something amazing. I hope I'm not -conceited, but in those days I was just a little--er--popular, and -perhaps I ought not to confess it, a little--er--give me a word. - -GUNNING. - -Human. - -[_They laugh slightly._ - -COLONEL. - -[_With affected severity._] Clement, I hope you are not too human? - -PARBURY. - -Quite the contrary, I assure you, Colonel. - -COLONEL. - -Then why--I suppose, after all, it is my duty to ask--why does Mabel -come home with me to-night? - -PARBURY. - -She is simply using pressure to get her own way in a matter in which I -think her way the wrong way. - -COLONEL. - -Gad! they do like their own way, don't they? Well, no doubt she'll be -more reasonable to-morrow. I think I may trust you. - -PARBURY. - -You may--absolutely. - -_Enter MRS. PARBURY. She has put on a hat and a cloak._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Going to GUNNING._] You'll forgive me, I'm sure, Mr. Gunning. -Good-night. You'll have Clement all to yourself. - -GUNNING. - -Good-night, Mrs. Parbury. - -[_They shake hands. PARBURY joins her, C._ - -PARBURY. - -[_In a low voice._] Don't go, Mabel. It's very foolish. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Softening._] You could prevent me if you wished. - -PARBURY. - -I'm opposed to all violence. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Hard again._] Which way is it to be? - -PARBURY. - -[_Firmly._] My way, dear. - -[_Goes up C. to fireplace._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Alone, C._] Good heavens! He'll really let me go. [_Hesitates for a -moment, then draws herself up._] Come, father. - -COLONEL. - -Good-night, Mr. Gunning. Good-night, Clement. - -PARBURY and GUNNING. - -Good-night, Colonel. - -[_Exeunt MRS. PARBURY and the COLONEL._ - -PARBURY. - -[_Comes down, a little astonished._] By Jove, she's really going! - -[_GUNNING sits. PARBURY stands C., listening. Pause. Then there is the -noise of a carriage door being shut._ - -EVANS. - -[_Outside._] Home! - -[_PARBURY somewhat unsteadily lights a cigarette. He then catches -GUNNING'S eye. They look at each other._ - -_Slow Curtain._ - -END OF ACT II. - - - -ACT III - -SCENE.--_The Rose Garden at PARBURY'S house. A garden table, seat, and -chairs. The next morning._ - -[_Enter MISS WOODWARD. She is dressed simply, but less severely than -before. Her hair is dressed more loosely. She carries a little basket -full of roses. She places some roses upon the table, which is laid for -two for breakfast. She plucks more roses and fastens them in her -dress. Meanwhile she hums an air and conveys the impression of being -happier than in the previous Acts._] - -[_Enter GUNNING, R. He wears a light morning suit, a round hat and -brown boots, and carries a stick and gloves._] - -GUNNING. - -Good-morning, Miss Woodward. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Good-morning. - -[_They shake hands._ - -GUNNING. - -Shall I resist the temptation to pay you a compliment? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Gathering more roses._] Yes, please. - -GUNNING. - -I thought you would say so. All the same, I feel it to be a -deprivation. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Isn't that remark itself the cloven foot of compliment? - -GUNNING. - -Eh--well, perhaps it is. I'm sorry. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -And therefore unlike you. - -GUNNING. - -Unlike me? What does that mean? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -That it isn't much in your way to pay women compliments. - -GUNNING. - -I hope you are doing me an injustice. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I don't think so. You haven't a very lofty opinion of women as a sex, -have you? - -GUNNING. - -Pretty well--pretty well; but what makes you think so? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I heard you talk, you know, yesterday afternoon. - -GUNNING. - -Oh yes; one does talk a lot of rot sometimes, doesn't one? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Yes. - -[_Embarrassed pause._ - -GUNNING. - -Is Mr. Parbury down yet? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -No. But he is sure to be in a few minutes. He is generally early. -Breakfast, as you see, will be served here. Perhaps--perhaps you would -rather wait indoors. - -GUNNING. - -No; I'll stay here if I may. . . . I'm afraid we made rather a late -night of it. - -[_He sits._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Really? - -GUNNING. - -Three o'clock. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -You had much to talk of. I envy people with pleasant memories. - -GUNNING. - -I don't remember that we talked much of old times. I think we talked -of the present. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Rather hardly._] Then my envy has flown. - -GUNNING. - -You are right. This affair is rather boring. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Innocently._] What affair, Mr. Gunning? - -GUNNING. - -Miss Woodward, you are a triumph of the inscrutable. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Leaning on chair, L.C._] I'm sure that is very clever, because I -can't quite understand it. - -GUNNING. - -Quite seriously, Miss Woodward, you interest me more than any person I -have ever met. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Do you always say that to girls, Mr. Gunning? - -GUNNING. - -No. Why? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -You ought to. I'm sure it's very encouraging. - -[_She picks another rose._ - -GUNNING. - -[_Doubtfully._] Ahem! - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Are you quite sure you wouldn't rather wait indoors? - -GUNNING. - -Oh, quite. I like being here. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -But I'm sure you find it difficult getting down to one's level. I -often think that the very wise must be very lonely. - -GUNNING. - -[_Rising._] What an extremely unpleasant remark! - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I'm sorry. [_She sighs._] We don't seem to get on very well, do we? - -GUNNING. - -[_With sincerity and coming close to her._] I'd like to get on well -with you. - -[_Pause. They look in each other's faces, both at table._ - -GUNNING. - -Will you give me a rose? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -No, Mr. Gunning. - -PARBURY. - -[_Outside._] Are you there, George? - -[_MISS WOODWARD gets letters from table._ - -GUNNING. - -Yes. - -PARBURY. - -[_Outside, to EVANS._] Serve breakfast. - -_Enter PARBURY, L._ - -Good-morning. I hope I haven't kept you waiting. Oh, you are here, -Miss Woodward. Good-morning. [_Looks at the table._] And you have -managed to find us some roses. How very kind of you! [_MISS WOODWARD -gives him letters. He runs them over._] No, no, no, no! Will you -kindly see what they're all about? [_She is about to go._] Oh, not -now--after breakfast will do. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I have breakfasted, thank you. - -PARBURY. - -Really! I suppose I'm horribly late. [_Looks at his watch. Then, -noticing the roses she carries in her hand._] How very beautiful they -are! Look, George! [_She selects one and hands it to him._] For me? -Thank you. [_He fastens it in his buttonhole._] - -[_Exit MISS WOODWARD, L._ - -[_To GUNNING._] Lovely, isn't it? - -GUNNING. - -[_Gruffly._] Yes, it's all right. - -PARBURY. - -What's the matter? Cross? - -GUNNING. - -Not at all. But, really, you married men are very tiresome. - -PARBURY. - -Oh, I see--wanted a rose yourself. Shall I call Miss Woodward back and -ask for you? - -GUNNING. - -Don't trouble. I've done that myself. - -PARBURY. - -You have? Ha, ha! [_Begins to laugh, but stops suddenly._] Oh! -[_Holding his head._] Dear, dear, what a head I have! - -GUNNING. - -You haven't asked after _my_ head. - -PARBURY. - -[_Sits at table._] Your pardon. How is it? - -GUNNING. - -[_Sits at table._] I'd like to sell it this morning. Do you know, -Clement, I'm not quite certain about that whisky of yours. - -PARBURY. - -I am. It's fifteen years old. - -_Enter EVANS, L., with, breakfast-tray._ - -But you always had a way of mixing your drinks over-night and growling -in the morning. - -GUNNING. - -[_Drawing up his chair._] Put it at that, if you like. I do know that -I always had a way of disliking you particularly in the morning. I -regret I don't appear to have grown out of it. - -PARBURY. - -I'm so glad. I hate being too popular. [_EVANS offers bacon to MR. -PARBURY. He pushes the dish away._] Take it away. Have some bacon, -George? - -[_Takes a piece of toast, looks at it, then puts it down._ - -GUNNING. - -Thank you. - -[_Helps himself to bacon._ - -[_Exit EVANS, L., with bacon dish._ - -PARBURY. - -I must say I think your display of temper is in the worst possible -taste under the circumstances. - -GUNNING. - -[_Buttering toast._] What do you mean by "under the circumstances"? - -PARBURY. - -You know what I mean. How much sleep do you think I've had? - -GUNNING. - -I'm sure I don't know. What concerns me is that you detained me in -this outlandish place--what county is it?--till past three o'clock, -and then insisted, with alcoholic tears in your eyes, on my returning -to breakfast. - -PARBURY. - -Tea or coffee? - -GUNNING. - -Tea--no; coffee--no, neither. - -PARBURY. - -Have some hot milk? - -[_Offers him the jug._ - -GUNNING. - -Ugh! Don't. - -[_Takes an egg. Shells it._ - -PARBURY. - -[_Lifts the lid of the tea-pot, then of the coffee-pot, and closes -them gently with a look of distaste._] No, not this morning. Still, we -must drink something. What shall it be? - -GUNNING. - -I am your guest. - -PARBURY. - -Perhaps we had better split a bottle. - -GUNNING. - -Please be frank. Do you mean Bass or champagne? - -PARBURY. - -Champagne, of course. [_He calls loudly._] Evans! Evans! - -EVANS. - -[_Outside._] Yes, sir. - -_Enter EVANS, L._ - -PARBURY. - -Bring a bottle of champagne. - -EVANS. - -[_Starting ever so slightly._] Cham---- - -PARBURY. - -[_Irritably._] Champagne and glasses. - -EVANS. - -[_Recovering his composure._] Yes, sir. - -[_Exit EVANS, L., wearing a discreet smile._ - -PARBURY. - -It's a thing I haven't done for years--taken wine in the morning. - -GUNNING. - -Five years. - -PARBURY. - -Exactly. - -GUNNING. - -In what I may venture to describe as the pre-domestic period it was -rather a way of yours. - -PARBURY. - -You mean ours. - -GUNNING. - -Ours, if you prefer it. Where's the salt? - -PARBURY. - -There it is, right before your eyes. Why don't you look? - -GUNNING. - -Pass the mustard, please. What a good chap you were in those days. - -PARBURY. - -Yes. Strange, you were always---- - -GUNNING. - -Always what? - -PARBURY. - -Toast? - -GUNNING. - -Thanks, I've got some. Always what? - -PARBURY. - -It's quite pleasant out here, isn't it? - -GUNNING. - -Delightful. You were saying I was always---- - -PARBURY. - -Oh, it doesn't matter. - -GUNNING. - -Of course, being about me it wouldn't matter. - -PARBURY. - -I'm afraid of offending you. - -GUNNING. - -You couldn't do that. - -PARBURY. - -Well, I was going to say you were always rather sour-natured. - -GUNNING. - -Really! - -[_He takes up a daily paper and glances through it, continuing to do -so while PARBURY speaks._ - -PARBURY. - -And that has, I fancy, quite unconsciously to you, I am sure, a -disturbing influence on others of happier nature. - -[_Taking an egg._ - -GUNNING. - -[_Drawlingly._] Yes. - -[_He continues to read._ - -PARBURY. - -Take yesterday, for instance. Of course, you didn't intend it. I -wouldn't suggest that for a moment. But, damn it, look at the result? - -GUNNING. - -[_In the same manner as before._] Yes. - -[_He reads._ - -PARBURY. - -[_Taking the top off his boiled egg._] Simply deplorable. I've broken -loose from my moorings. I'm at the mercy of every breeze. I feel that -I've lost moral stability. Confound it, why doesn't that champagne -come? - -_Enter EVANS, L., with champagne. Pours out two glasses and hands them -to GUNNING and PARBURY._ - -PARBURY. - -I'm not quite certain that for a man like me--[_GUNNING groans and -returns to his newspaper_]--a man, if I may say so, of generous -instincts and large sympathies--a groove isn't a good thing, even if -it be a little narrow. Of course, for a man of your nature, it's a -different matter. - -GUNNING. - -[_Suddenly puts down the paper, draws his chair closer to the table, -and takes an egg with apparent cheerfulness._] What were you saying, -old man? - -PARBURY. - -Nothing. - -GUNNING. - -[_Affecting heartiness._] Let's talk about you. - -PARBURY. - -[_Fingering the rose in his buttonhole._] Dear, dear, how cross you -are to-day! - -EVANS. - -Excuse me, sir, may I speak to you? - -PARBURY. - -Yes--what is it? - -EVANS. - -It's about cook, sir. - -PARBURY. - -What's the matter with her? - -EVANS. - -Well, sir, so to speak, she wants to know where she stands. - -PARBURY. - -[_Looks at EVANS, then at GUNNING._] How can I help her? - -EVANS. - -I mean, sir, or rather she means, now mistress has gone away---- - -PARBURY. - -I presume my wife has a right to go away for a few days without cook's -permission. - -EVANS. - -Yes, sir, certainly. But excuse me, sir; there's been gossip. Emma, -the 'ousemaid, accidentally overheard something between Mrs. Parbury -and her maid. Servants is as nervous as race-horses, sir, and cook's -nerves is particularly sensible. So to speak, dismoralisation's set up -in the kitchen. - -PARBURY. - -Well, you had better go and set it down again, Evans, and don't bother -me any more. - -EVANS. - -Yes, sir, certainly. Excuse me, sir, I was to ask you who cook is to -take her orders from. - -PARBURY. - -In my wife's absence, from me, of course. - -EVANS. - -Not from Miss Woodward, sir? - -PARBURY. - -[_Staring slightly._] Why, has Miss Woodward given any orders? - -EVANS. - -No, sir, but cook thought---- - -PARBURY. - -That will do, Evans. - -EVANS. - -Yes, sir. - -[_Exit EVANS, L._ - -[_There is a pause. PARBURY and GUNNING exchange looks._ - -GUNNING. - -Devilish awkward. - -PARBURY. - -What bores servants are! - -[_PARBURY slowly drinks a glass of wine. GUNNING also drinks. PARBURY -re-fills the glasses._ - -_Enter COLONEL ARMITAGE, R._ - -ARMITAGE. - -Am I an intruder? - -PARBURY. - -Good-morning, Colonel. [_He rises and shakes hands._] Not in the -least. - -ARMITAGE. - -[_At back of table, C._] Good-morning, Mr. Gunning. - -GUNNING. - -Good-morning, Colonel. - -[_They shake hands._ - -PARBURY. - -Have you breakfasted? - -ARMITAGE. - -Thanks, yes, but poorly. I didn't get to bed till four. - -PARBURY. - -Nor did I. - -GUNNING. - -Nor I. - -ARMITAGE. - -And then I had but little sleep. - -PARBURY. - -The same with me. - -GUNNING. - -And with me. - -ARMITAGE. - -[_With a touch of asperity._] Your troubles, Clement, you have, of -course, brought upon yourself; but I think it's a little hard on your -friends that they should be made to suffer with you. - -GUNNING. - -Hear, hear! - -_Enter EVANS with fruit. GUNNING and PARBURY each take an apple._ - -ARMITAGE. - -[_Tapping the champagne bottle with his stick._] What's this! Some new -kind of table water, I suppose. - -PARBURY. - -Champagne. - -ARMITAGE. - -Champagne at this hour! Well, I suppose you know best how to regulate -your life. Have you an extra glass? - -PARBURY. - -Another glass, Evans. - -EVANS. - -Yes, sir. - -[_Exit EVANS._ - -ARMITAGE. - -It's a thing I haven't done for many years. - -PARBURY. - -I trust, Colonel, you won't accuse me of leading you from the path of -morning abstinence. - -ARMITAGE. - -Really, Clement, I think this display of ill-humour is scarcely -in--er--give me a word. - -GUNNING. - -Good taste. - -ARMITAGE. - -Exactly! Good taste, considering that we are suffering from the -effects of your domestic--er--er---- - -GUNNING. - -Maladministration. - -ARMITAGE. - -Maladministration--exactly. - -GUNNING. - -I quite agree with you, Colonel. - -ARMITAGE. - -Look at your friend there. If he'll allow me to say so, he's put on -ten years since yesterday. Look at me! Last evening, I suggest--I hope -I'm not conceited--I suggest I didn't look a day over forty-seven. - -GUNNING. - -Not an hour. - -ARMITAGE. - -While to-day--what would you say, Mr Gunning? - -GUNNING. - -[_Looks at him critically, then falls back in his chair._] Fifty-two. - -[_PARBURY looks savagely at GUNNING, throws his apple on table, and -turns away._ - -ARMITAGE. - -I feared so; but I like you for your frankness. - -[_He cuts a cigar._ - -_Enter EVANS, with tumbler on tray; he places tumbler on table, and -collects the breakfast things. Pause. ARMITAGE lights his cigar with a -match EVANS hands him._ - -ARMITAGE. - -You haven't asked me if I have a message for you. - -PARBURY. - -Prenez-garde! - -GUNNING. - -[_Loudly._] You mean about Newmarket. - -ARMITAGE. - -[_After a glance at EVANS._] Yes; Allerton doesn't run any of his -horses. Death in the family, you know. - -PARBURY. - -So I heard. That will do, Evans. You may leave the champagne. - -[_They all keep their glasses._ - -EVANS. - -Yes, sir. - -[_Exit EVANS with breakfast tray, L._ - -PARBURY. - -[_Watches EVANS off; then to ARMITAGE._] Of course, you know, I'm -really most anxious about Mabel. How is she? - -ARMITAGE. - -I think I told you that I was up practically all night with her. - -PARBURY. - -Was she ill? - -ARMITAGE. - -Bodily, no. We supped in the kitchen at two. It's amazing how emotion -stimulates the appetite. No, Clement, her indisposition is of the -mind. She wept. - -PARBURY. - -All the time? - -ARMITAGE. - -All the time. [_Slight pause. Then he adds with a sigh._] I had rather -a trying night. - -[_They all drink champagne; GUNNING rises, bends over a rose-bush, and -hums the air of the music-hall song, "'E 'as my sympathy."_ - -ARMITAGE. - -I'm not without experience. Poor dear Mabel's mother, for -instance--one of the best women in the world--_she_ would cry at -times, and if she got well off the scratch, she was--er--hard to beat. -Mind you, I'll be fair; I was much to blame--very much to blame. But -as for Mabel, bless you, that dear child could have given her poor -mother a stone and--er--what's the expression? - -GUNNING. - -Romped home. - -ARMITAGE. - -That's it--romped home. - -PARBURY. - -Come, Colonel, give me the message. - -ARMITAGE. - -I have no message for you. I may tell you, you are not in very great -favour. [_GUNNING smiles._] You're not well spoken of, Clement. - -PARBURY. - -Oho! Perhaps my wife had a good word for my old friend, Gunning. - -ARMITAGE. - -In regard to Mr. Gunning, I think the word "serpent" was employed. -[_PARBURY laughs quietly; GUNNING becomes serious._] All the same, I -have a message for him. - -GUNNING. - -Really. - -PARBURY. - -[_Rising._] In that case, I'll get out of the way. I shall be in my -study if I'm wanted. - -ARMITAGE. - -[_Comes C._] Very well. But I must say, Clement, that I find you, very -much to my surprise and regret, just a little--a little--er--give me a -word. - -GUNNING. - -Callous! - -ARMITAGE. - -Thanks, yes--callous; and, dearly fond as I am of my daughter, I think -I have a right to ask how long you intend leaving your wife on my -hands. - -GUNNING. - -Perfectly reasonable--perfectly---- - -PARBURY. - -Shut up, George! [_He goes to ARMITAGE._] My dear old friend---- - -ARMITAGE. - -[_Interrupting._] Hear me out, please. My dear daughter is, of course, -always more than welcome to my home, but I trust you will not -misunderstand me when I say that I require notice. Since I regained my -liberty--I mean, since the death of your wife's dear mother, I've -drifted into my own--er--little ways. This affair has deranged my -plans. Without being indiscreet, I may tell you that I've had to send -telegrams. - -GUNNING. - -Deuced hard lines! - -PARBURY. - -Send her back to me, Colonel. Consult at once your happiness and mine -by using your authority. Tell her that cook is in revolt, and that -Evans is impertinent. Tell her that I only want my own way when I know -I am absolutely right, as in this case. And above all, tell her that I -prefer her society to that of a second-class cynic who bellows for -champagne at ten o'clock in the morning. - -[_Exit PARBURY, L._ - -GUNNING. - -In regard to your son-in-law, Colonel, you have my respectful -sympathy. - -ARMITAGE. - -A good fellow, but inconsiderate. [_He lowers his voice._] I may tell -you in confidence, Gunning, that I had been looking forward to keeping -a rather pleasant appointment to-night---- - -GUNNING. - -[_Falling into the confidential manner._] Really! - -ARMITAGE. - -Yes, rather pleasant--rather pleasant. - -[_He takes a miniature from his pocket and looks at it._ - -GUNNING. - -[_Leaning towards him._] Might one venture to---- - -ARMITAGE. - -[_Keeping the miniature away from him._] Oh, no, no, no, no--wouldn't -be fair. Oh, no. Besides, you might know her hus--you might--er---- - -GUNNING. - -Yes, yes, of course; one can't be too discreet. - -ARMITAGE. - -[_Quickly._] Not, mind you, that there's anything the whole world -mightn't know, only she--er--she's not happy at home, and a quiet -evening at a theatre--you understand? - -GUNNING. - -Quite, quite! - -ARMITAGE. - -Now you, my dear fellow, can do me a friendly turn. - -GUNNING. - -I should be delighted to, but--I don't see---- - -ARMITAGE. - -I'll explain. My daughter wishes to see you. She seems to think that -you hold the key of the situation. - -GUNNING. - -But I don't. I should very much object to. - -ARMITAGE. - -Never mind--never mind! See her and do your utmost to make it up -between her and Clement. - -GUNNING. - -It's no business of mine. - -ARMITAGE. - -To put it bluntly, I shall not be able to keep my appointment to-night -if I still have my daughter on my hands. - -GUNNING. - -That would be a pity. - -ARMITAGE. - -In which case my friend will be vexed--_very vexed._ I should have -mentioned that on her mother's side my friend is Spanish. - -GUNNING. - -[_Smiling. Shakes hands._] That decides me. Where is your daughter -now? - -ARMITAGE. - -She's there, my boy, quite close. We walked over the heath together. -One moment. [_He brings a chair forward._] Would you kindly lend me -your arm? [_With GUNNING'S assistance he mounts a chair, then he -raises his hat on his stick._] That's the signal the coast is clear. -Trust an old campaigner. There she is! I say, put that wine away! -[_GUNNING puts the bottle under table up L.C., and places the glasses -on table and covers them over with serviette._] It's all right! Thank -you, thank you! [_As GUNNING helps him down._] Remember, my dear -fellow, that I've trusted you implicitly. My happiness is in your -hands. If we men didn't stand shoulder to shoulder in these little -matters, society would--er--would---- - -GUNNING. - -Crumble to dust. - -ARMITAGE. - -Exactly. - -_Enter MRS. PARBURY, R. Advancing cautiously, she bows very stiffly to -GUNNING, who takes his hat off._ - -GUNNING. - -Good-morning, Mrs. Parbury. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Coldly._] Good-morning. - -ARMITAGE. - -Well, I'll leave you. There's nothing further I can do for you at -present, dear? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -You might stay in the garden and give me a signal if Clement is -coming. I have no intention of meeting him under the circumstances. - -ARMITAGE. - -Very well, I'll give you an unmistakable signal. "I'll sing thee songs -of Araby." - -[_Exit ARMITAGE, L._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Grimly._] Well, Mr. Gunning, I hope you're satisfied with your work. - -GUNNING. - -My work, Mrs. Parbury--come, come! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Oh, I hope you won't dispute that. Clement and I were living together -in perfect harmony, in perfect happiness, until you turned up -yesterday. - -GUNNING. - -Like a bad penny, eh? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I was going to say like the snake in the garden. - -GUNNING. - -Better still. Our conversation doesn't open propitiously. Don't you -think it would conduce to the comfort of us both if we didn't pursue -it any further? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Isn't that a little cowardly? - -GUNNING. - -I acknowledge cowardice in regard to other people's affairs. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Yesterday you were a hero. - -GUNNING. - -Believe me, Mrs. Parbury, you are mistaken. I didn't interfere in any -way. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -You did worse. - -GUNNING. - -How? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -You sneered. - -GUNNING. - -Really, Mrs. Parbury, I---- - -MRS. PARBURY. - -You aired opinions to me--pernicious opinions. I have a right to -assume that you aired the same opinions to Clement, over whom you have -some sort of influence. - -GUNNING. - -I? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Not, I think, a good influence, Mr. Gunning. I've been thinking things -over since midnight. Hitherto I've been obliged to think very little -of serious things. Perhaps trouble sharpens the intelligence. I've -discovered that your influence over Clement is the influence of -ridicule--the ridicule of the untamed for the tamed. - -GUNNING. - -Say of the disreputable for the respectable, if you like, Mrs. -Parbury. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Thank you. That quite expresses my present opinion. Of course it is in -your power at least to modify it. - -GUNNING. - -I should be grateful if you would show me the way. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -You are not sincere. - -GUNNING. - -'Pon my word, I am. [_MRS. PARBURY raises her hand protestingly._] No, -but really--I assure you, dear Mrs. Parbury--I'm not nearly such a bad -fellow as you think. What can I do? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Something--_anything_ to remove Miss Woodward from this house. - -GUNNING. - -Miss Woodward! What has she to do with your quarrel with Clement? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Everything. Sit down. [_He does so. She makes sure that they are -unobserved, then takes a chair next him._] Mr. Gunning, strange as it -may appear after all that has occurred, I am going to trust you. - -[_Lowering her voice._ - -GUNNING. - -You are very good. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -That wretched girl is in love with Clement. - -GUNNING. - -[_Starting from his chair as if shot._] What! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Sit down! Sit down! - -GUNNING. - -Miss Woodward is in love with---- - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Sit down, _please,_ Mr. Gunning. - -GUNNING. - -[_Laughs--sitting._] No, no, no; I simply can't believe it. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Why not? - -GUNNING. - -It seems such a monstrous absurdity. - -[_Laughs._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Drawing herself up._] I see nothing monstrously absurd in any one -falling in love with my husband. I did! - -GUNNING. - -Oh, of course--a charming chap; but she's such an original girl. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Indignant._] You infer that I am not? - -GUNNING. - -Not at all, Mrs. Parbury. You are really most interesting. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I don't think you are very tactful. - -GUNNING. - -I'm a boor--a perfect boor. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -You appear to take an interest in Miss Woodward. - -GUNNING. - -[_Confused._] Only the interest of the student. I still think you must -be mistaken. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Emphatically._] I caught her in the act of kissing his photograph. - -GUNNING. - -You saw her-- [_Laughs._] My dear Mrs. Parbury, a day-dream! - -MRS. PARBURY. - -A fact. When pressed, she didn't deny it. - -GUNNING. - -Does Clement know? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -No; I thought it wise not to tell him. - -GUNNING. - -[_Heartily._] You were right--very right. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I'm glad you think so. - -GUNNING. - -Some men are so weak. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Drawing herself up again._] Mr. Gunning! - -GUNNING. - -So easily flattered. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_With more emphasis._] Mr. Gunning! - -GUNNING. - -In nine cases out of ten it's vanity that leads men astray. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_With growing wrath._] Mr. Gunning, we are speaking of my husband. - -GUNNING. - -Yes, yes, dear old Clement has his share of vanity, of course. -[_Aside._] Damn him! - -[_Rises and goes L._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Rising indignantly._] How dare you speak like that of my husband! A -less vain man doesn't exist, and what small faults he has concern only -him and me--and not you in any way. - -GUNNING. - -I beg ten thousand pardons, Mrs. Parbury. Of course you know Clement -far better than I do. Please don't go. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I shall certainly not remain to hear my husband abused. - -GUNNING. - -But I assure you---- - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Crosses to L._] Clement vain indeed! - -GUNNING. - -No, no; a mistake. Do sit down again. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Crosses to R.C._] You might, with advantage, look for vanity nearer -home, Mr. Gunning. - -MR. GUNNING. - -Perfectly true, perfectly true. - -[_He places her chair for her._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -As for the sort of weakness you were good enough to credit my husband -with---- - -GUNNING. - -Nothing but a slip of the tongue. Do sit down. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -No doubt you have accustomed yourself to judging other men from your -own standpoint. - -GUNNING. - -That's it; quite true! You are always right. Won't you sit? - -[_She sits. He sighs with relief, then takes a chair himself._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -What do you propose? - -GUNNING. - -I'm waiting for a suggestion from you. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -This brazen hussy---- - -GUNNING. - -That expression seems to me to be unnecessarily harsh, Mrs. Parbury. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Oh, of course, if you defend the girl---- - -GUNNING. - -Pardon me, but I have an old-fashioned prejudice against speaking ill -of the absent. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I didn't observe it when you spoke of my husband. - -GUNNING. - -[_Laughing._] Fairly hit. Come, let's be practical. Miss Woodward must -not remain in the house, and Clement must not know the truth. On these -points we are quite agreed. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Quite. - -GUNNING. - -Very well. I'll see Clement. I have an idea. - -[_Rises._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Rises._] You'll not tell him you've seen me. - -GUNNING. - -Certainly not. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Remember above all, it's most important to our future happiness that -Clement should be the first to give way. - -GUNNING. - -Oh, I'll remember that. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -And, Mr. Gunning, if you succeed I'll try to forget the mischief -you've created, and will ask you to come and see us--[_shakes hands -with him_]--occasionally. - -GUNNING. - -Thank you so much. - -[_Voice of COLONEL ARMITAGE outside singing "I'll sing thee songs of -Araby."_ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -That's father's signal. I am going to walk on the heath. I'm far too -proud to allow myself to be discovered by Clement here. He might think -I want to come back. - -[_Exit MRS. PARBURY, R._ - -[_Voice of ARMITAGE, still singing, comes nearer until he enters with -PARBURY, with the words "or charm thee to a tear." Unseen by PARBURY, -GUNNING points out to the COLONEL the direction in which MRS. PARBURY -has gone._ - -ARMITAGE. - -[_In a low voice, to GUNNING._] Will it be all right? - -GUNNING. - -I hope so. - -ARMITAGE. - -[_Going R._] Well, I'll finish my constitutional. I'll look in again, -Clement, in the hope that you will then be able to tell me how long -this extremely uncomfortable state of affairs is to last. - -[_Exit ARMITAGE, R., singing until he is well off._ - -PARBURY. - -Give me a cigarette, George. - -[_GUNNING hands him a cigarette, then takes a cigarette himself. They -both smoke. There is a short silence._ - -PARBURY. - -Not a stroke of work. It's absurd! - -[_Throws cigarette on ground in a rage._ - -GUNNING. - -You are not happy? - -PARBURY. - -Not particularly. - -GUNNING. - -Then how can you expect to do imaginative work? - -PARBURY. - -Quite so! - -GUNNING. - -I'm afraid you've made a mistake, old chap. - -PARBURY. - -Eh? - -GUNNING. - -You know I'm your friend. - -PARBURY. - -Of course. - -GUNNING. - -Apart from all chaff. - -PARBURY. - -Yes, yes. - -GUNNING. - -Well, you've gone too far. - -PARBURY. - -[_Looks at him._] You think so? - -GUNNING. - -Yes. By a petulant discontent you've precipitated an awkward crisis. - -PARBURY. - -You see it now in that light. - -GUNNING. - -Yes. I've been thinking things over, Clement. [_Sits on front of -table, C._] After all, the love of a good woman is a priceless -possession. - -PARBURY. - -You appear to have dropped into the platitudinous. - -GUNNING. - -[_With much gravity._] Don't jest, old man, over so sacred a thing. - -PARBURY. - -[_After eyeing GUNNING keenly for a moment._] You have changed your -views since yesterday. - -GUNNING. - -Only the unimaginative never change their views. - -PARBURY. - -You think, then, I've been wrong? - -GUNNING. - -Very! - -PARBURY. - -I should have gone on putting up with the existing conditions? - -GUNNING. - -They might have been worse. - -PARBURY. - -Submitting to the old tyranny? - -GUNNING. - -A wholesome discipline, believe me. - -PARBURY. - -What of our spoilt yachting cruise? - -GUNNING. - -I ought never to have proposed it. Think what a loving wife must -suffer under the circumstances--lying awake at night listening to the -wind howling in the chimneys and sobbing in the trees. It doesn't bear -thinking of. - -PARBURY. - -Quite so--quite so! And about our dear old friends whom I was obliged -to drop. You may remember you made some very strong comments on my -weakness yesterday. - -GUNNING. - -I was hasty. I admit it. - -PARBURY. - -Wybrow, for instance--an awful good chap. - -GUNNING. - -A tavern wit--a Johnsonian spirit--eminently out of place on the -domestic hearth. - -PARBURY. - -Well, take Carson--one of the best. - -GUNNING. - -Foolishly married a woman your wife couldn't get on with. You admitted -it. - -PARBURY. - -But Burleigh--a truly great spirit--your own words. - -GUNNING. - -Burleigh? It isn't because a man gives you a watch that you need -thrust him down your wife's throat, is it? - -PARBURY. - -What an old fraud you are, George! - -GUNNING. - -Not at all. One sees things more clearly in the morning. - -PARBURY. - -Well, since you've resigned your attitude of nonintervention, what do -you advise? - -GUNNING. - -Discreet surrender. - -PARBURY. - -I'm to send for my wife? - -GUNNING. - -Exactly. - -PARBURY. - -Unconditionally? - -GUNNING. - -Of course. Why impose conditions on a weak, loving, trusting woman? -[_Going to him._] Damn it all, old man, show a little heart. - -PARBURY. - -You know it means the sacrifice of my secretary? - -GUNNING. - -Well? - -PARBURY. - -Well? - -GUNNING. - -[_A little embarrassed; he drops his cigarette and places his foot on -it._] It's obvious that Miss Woodward can't stay on here in your -wife's absence. - -PARBURY. - -I've thought of that. - -GUNNING. - -You heard what Evans said. The servants are talking already--and if -the servants are talking this morning the neighbours will be talking -this afternoon, and the entire north-west of London by the evening. - -PARBURY. - -Quite true--quite true! - -GUNNING. - -I suppose you don't wish to compromise the girl? - -PARBURY. - -Certainly not--certainly not! [_He goes slowly over to GUNNING, and -looks him in the face, smiling._] And so that's your secret. - -GUNNING. - -What do you mean? - -PARBURY. - -All this solicitude for my happiness--this sudden change of your point -of view--this miraculous conversion of the cynic into the -peacemaker--all inspired by a pair of blue eyes. An arrow from Cupid's -bow has winged its way into this wooden heart--[_Tapping GUNNING'S -chest_]--and "Earth has won her child again," as Goethe puts it. - -GUNNING. - -Don't talk rot! - -PARBURY. - -Don't be offended. I like it. It pleases me. Think of it! One dull -evening in a suburban home, one morning's encounter in a rose-garden, -and the thing's done--the sage melts into the man, the onlooker into -the soldier. I tell you I like it. It's so natural, so human--so -splendidly unlike you. Let me help. What can I do? She's coming here -now with some letters for me to sign. "Were it ever so airy a tread, -your heart would hear her and beat." Isn't it so? Shall I speak to her -for you? Better still, shall I leave you alone together? - -GUNNING. - -[_Fixing his hat on more firmly and taking his stick._] I'm going. You -bore me. - -_Enter MISS WOODWARD, L. She carries some typewritten letters and pen -and ink. She goes to the table and stands waiting for PARBURY._ - -PARBURY. - -One moment, old man. [_He looks in GUNNING'S face, then speaks in a -lower voice._] Don't let it pass unrecorded. You have permitted -yourself a blush. - -GUNNING. - -[_Trying to pass him._] Don't be an idiot. - -PARBURY. - -[_Restraining him._] It's a beautiful, touching truth. The -philosopher--the man who has gained perspective--the student who sits -perched on a lofty ledge and looks down pityingly on the rest of us, -is actually blushing--blushing a poor, simple, human blush! - -[_Laughs loudly._ - -GUNNING. - -Go to the devil! - -[_Exit GUNNING, R._ - -PARBURY. - -[_Turning to MISS WOODWARD. He goes to her._] Forgive my laughter, -Miss Woodward, but it isn't often one surprises a philosopher in a -blush. Now, let us see! [_He sits and takes the letters. MISS WOODWARD -remains standing by him. He reads. Interrupting himself after a -moment, he laughs slightly._] Dear old George! [_He continues reading, -then signs the letter. He looks over another and says "Excellent!" and -signs it. Then he quickly signs the other letters, sits back in his -chair, and says_] Thank you! [_MISS WOODWARD gathers up the letters._] -I'm afraid that's all the work I can do to-day. I'd like to have gone -on with the novel, but it seems the mood won't come. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I'm very sorry. - -PARBURY. - -The day is out of joint. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I wish I could do something. - -PARBURY. - -No, no, don't you trouble. It'll all come right presently. By the way, -what a good fellow Gunning is! - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Is he? - -PARBURY. - -Don't you think so? - -[_Looking at her._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I've seen so little of him; but I'm sure he must be if you think so. - -[_She is going, L._ - -PARBURY. - -Wait one moment, Miss Woodward. I know there was something else I -wanted to say to you. [_She comes back._] [_He rises and paces stage -thoughtfully._] Oh, yes; I know! I'm afraid my domestic complications -have made things a little uncomfortable for you here. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Astonished, drops the letters on the table._] I don't--don't -understand. - -PARBURY. - -I mean that you probably feel it rather awkward to actually -live--night and day in the house in my wife's absence? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Blankly._] Oh, yes, yes; quite I suppose. - -PARBURY. - -[_Not looking at her._] I don't know much about these matters; but I -do know that you women are very sensitive, and apt to worry about what -people might say. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_In the same manner as before._] Yes--of course. - -PARBURY. - -I thought so. Well, it has occurred to me that perhaps under present -circumstances it would be better if---- - -MISS WOODWARD. - -You mean for me to go away. - -PARBURY. - -Yes. - -[_Pause._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_In a low voice._] If I had been wiser I would have expected it. - -PARBURY. - -I mean, of course, to sleep only. Mrs. Howlands at Parkhurst House -just down here lets some of her rooms I know, and probably she has a -vacant bedroom now. I'll send down presently and see what can be done. -In fact, I'll send Evans now. - -[_Is about to go L._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Mr. Parbury! - -PARBURY. - -[_Stopping._] Yes. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Don't send, please. - -PARBURY. - -Oh, I see; you would rather go yourself. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I would rather go altogether. - -PARBURY. - -[_Amazed._] You would rather go altogether! - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I mean I _will_ go altogether. - -PARBURY. - -Miss Woodward, what is this for? What have I done? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Nothing that hasn't been perfect kindness to me. - -PARBURY. - -Then why wish to go now? I know I can't expect to have you always, -because you will some day get married. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I shall never get married. - -PARBURY. - -Nonsense! Of course you will, and the man who gets you will, in my -opinion, be a very lucky fellow; but until that day I certainly looked -forward to having the benefit of your services. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I'm sorry if I disappoint you. Please forgive me and let me go. - -PARBURY. - -But really, Miss Woodward, I must beg for some sort of explanation. -Last night you acknowledged you were perfectly satisfied. You wished -to remain. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -You have unconsciously shown me to-day that I was wrong. - -PARBURY. - -Indeed! I would be glad to know how. Oh, how weary one gets of -mysteries! [_MISS WOODWARD'S head droops lower._] [_He walks the -stage, then looks at MISS WOODWARD and pauses; he goes to her and -speaks more gently._] I beg your pardon, I fear I spoke impatiently. -Do understand that I only wish for your own good. I admit in our -relations I've hitherto been rather selfish. I'm afraid writing men -are prone to be so. I've allowed you to study my wishes and feelings -and nerves all the time, without giving any thought to yours. I'll try -to be more considerate in the future if you'll only regard me as an -elder brother and tell me what is troubling you now. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I'm sorry, but I can't. I'm ashamed that you should worry about me at -all. - -PARBURY. - -Is it anything to do with Mr. Gunning? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Nothing at all. How could it be? - -PARBURY. - -Miss Woodward, I don't like to press you, but this general cloud of -mystery is seriously affecting my nerves. At least tell me--I make it -a personal favour--the cause of the quarrel between my wife and you. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -It's impossible! Mrs. Parbury may tell you after I've gone. I'd rather -you despised me then than now. - -PARBURY. - -[_Wonderingly._] Despise you? - -[_Their eyes meet. Pause._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Passionately._] Please don't--don't even try to guess. - -PARBURY. - -[_The light breaking in on him slowly._] I think I understand. - -[_MISS WOODWARD turns up stage and stands with head bowed, her back to -the audience. There is a long pause. At first PARBURY doesn't appear -ill-pleased. He looks down at the rose in his buttonhole, and begins -to raise it half-tenderly to his face. Then his face becomes grave, -and he slowly removes the flower from his coat, and places it on the -table against which MISS WOODWARD is standing. He takes one of her -hands._ - -PARBURY. - -I don't ask anything--I don't guess anything, my dear child--my little -sister. I was wrong to press you to tell me your trouble; for what -could a hardened, rough-natured man do with the secrets of a young -girl's heart? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Don't speak like that; only say that I may go. - -PARBURY. - -Yes. - -[_Goes up C._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Thank you. - -[_Sees the rose where he has placed it. After a slight pause she takes -it up. During the following, she slowly picks it to pieces, dropping -the petals on the ground._ - -PARBURY. - -[_Coming down to back of table and speaking very gently._] I suppose -there must soon come a time to every girl of heart who goes out alone -into the world--a time when life seems to press hardly upon her and -weariness of the unaccustomed stress makes her heart falter, and when -she longs to take rest for a time in the old childhood, in the home -she perhaps once thought to be dull and dreary, in the mother's arms -that have always been ready to open with love for her. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Don't! - -[_Sinks into chair, R.C.; buries her face in her hands._ - -PARBURY. - -Perhaps you feel that that time has come now. If so, go home for a -little while, and get rest and fresh strength for the battle of life. -Come back to the fight soon. You are bound to succeed, because you -have talent and ambition and courage. [_Slight pause. He takes her -hand._] Don't cry. There is nothing you have lost or suffered yet -quite worth a tear-- - -_Enter MRS. PARBURY, R., GUNNING, and ARMITAGE._ - ---nothing quite worth a tear. [_He is bending towards her._] - -[_MRS. PARBURY, who is slightly in advance of ARMITAGE and GUNNING, -stops near MISS WOODWARD and PARBURY, brought up short by seeing their -intimate position. PARBURY draws back from MISS WOODWARD, who remains -upright and motionless. GUNNING and ARMITAGE, who exchange glances, -remain L. MISS WOODWARD crosses L. to go._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_In a low voice, speaking slowly, with deep emotion._] I suppose--I -have still a right to ask--for some explanation? - -PARBURY. - -Of what, dear? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Of this familiarity. - -PARBURY. - -You shouldn't mistake sympathy for familiarity. I was only giving Miss -Woodward some advice about her affairs. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -What affairs? - -PARBURY. - -I said _her_ affairs, dear, not ours. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -If that is all the explanation---- - -[_Turns away L._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Mr. Parbury very kindly and very properly advised me to go home for a -time--[_She comes down to MRS. PARBURY and speaks to her alone_]--and -I--I descended to your level--I cried! - -_Quick Curtain._ - -END OF ACT III. - - - -ACT IV - -SCENE.--_Same as Acts I. and II._ - -_Same day as Act III._ - -[_Upon the curtain rising, MISS WOODWARD is discovered at the desk. A -luncheon gong is immediately heard. MISS WOODWARD looks up and listens -for a moment, then shrugs her shoulders and resumes her work. She -opens a drawer of the desk, glances at its contents, and then -writes._] - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Writing._] Drawer four. Reviews favourable of "Harvey Masterton." In -top corner, tied in bundle, reviews unfavourable. [_She closes and -locks that drawer and unlocks another, into which she looks. -Writing._] Drawer five. Proof sheets of new novel corrected to page -180. At back, accounts with publishers. [_The luncheon gong is struck -again. She opens another drawer, looks into it for a moment, turns -over its contents, then shrugs her shoulders and writes._] A variety -of photographs of Mrs. Parbury and two packets of letters marked -"Private." How touching! [_She closes the drawer with a bang, and -opens another._] - -_Enter EVANS, L._ - -EVANS. - -[C.] Excuse me, Miss, but have you heard the luncheon gong? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Yes, thank you. - -EVANS. - -It's been struck twice, specially for you, Miss. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Who told you to strike it the second time? - -EVANS. - -Mr. Parbury, Miss. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -And who sent you now? - -EVANS. - -Mrs. Parbury asked me to tell you they're at lunch. They're the only -words that's been spoken since they sat down. It's rather trying to -the nerves, Miss, waiting on people that only open their mouths to -eat. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -You will please say that I don't wish any lunch. - -EVANS. - -Yes, Miss. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Has Emma packed my things? - -EVANS. - -She's packing them now, Miss. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Glancing at an A.B.C. which is on the desk._] Will you please order -a cab for me at--let me see--[_consulting the book_]--four-twenty--say -at half-past three. - -EVANS. - -Yes, Miss. Excuse me, Miss, but we're all very sorry you're -going--particularly cook. Cook's very strong in her attachments. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Looking into a drawer._] It's very kind of cook. - -EVANS. - -Cook's words was, "This'll be a dull 'ouse when the little sunbeam's -gone." - -MISS WOODWARD. - -That will do, Evans. - -EVANS. - -Excuse me, Miss, it was meant kindly. We was all on your side in this -embroglo. - -[_A pause. MISS WOODWARD is obstinately silent, and goes on working._ - -EVANS. - -Can't I get you something, Miss? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Yes; ask cook to kindly make me a sandwich, and I'll have a glass of -beer. - -EVANS. - -Sandwich of mutton or 'am, Miss? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Ham, please. [_Exit EVANS, L._] It's sure to be cold mutton to-night. -[_She writes._] Old manuscripts. [_Closes drawer._] There, that's all -in order for him. [_Rises._] I know there are some books of mine here. -I may as well have them. [_Goes towards book-shelves, but stops when -she comes to the occasional table on which is the photo of MR. -PARBURY. She stretches out her hand and takes the photograph gingerly. -Then she looks round to see if she is observed, with to herself an -affectation of fear._] Poor thing! Was it outraged by a kiss! What a -shame! But it's all right now! [_Puts it back with care._] No one -shall hurt it. It's perfectly safe--perfectly safe. [_She goes to -book-shelf._] Keats--mine. [_Takes a volume._] Matthew Arnold--mine. - -_Enter EVANS with sandwiches, beer, &c., on a small tray, which he -places on the desk._ - -Jane Eyre--mine. I think that's all. [_Brings the books down and -places them on desk._] Thank you, Evans. - -[_She sits._ - -EVANS. - -Cook thought you would care for that piece of cake, Miss. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I would. Thank cook for me. - -EVANS. - -Yes, Miss. [_He goes to door._] There's still a hominous silence at -the lunch-table, Miss. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Taking a sandwich._] That's all right, Evans. [_Exit EVANS, L._] -After all, one must have food. [_She takes a respectable bite out of a -sandwich._] And who could over-estimate the consolations of -literature? [_Opens a book and reads._] - - "Is the calm thine of stoic souls who weigh - Life well, and find it wanting, nor deplore, - But in disdainful silence turn away, - Stand mute, self-centred, stern, and dream no more?" - -Yes, Mr. Arnold, it is. - -[_Takes another bite of a sandwich._ - -_Enter MRS. PARBURY, L._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Why won't you come to lunch, Miss Woodward. But oh, I see you're -having something here. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_For a moment slightly confused._] I--I--[_Drinks some of her -beer_]--I have a railway journey before me. - -[_She rises._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -All the more reason you should come and lunch properly. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -You are very kind, but I am in no mood for merriment. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Merriment! - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Aren't you all merry? I'm so sorry. I thought it would be all right -now that I'm going away. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I'm afraid that won't make any difference. You speak as though you -thought you had a grievance against me. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Oh no; I suppose it's the other way about. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Perhaps it ought to be, but somehow I don't feel it acutely. I feel -only a dull pain. It's a terrible thing, Miss Woodward, for a young -married woman to suddenly realise that her happiness is gone. I feel -that I have aged many years in the last few hours. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -So do I. I'm sadder, but healthier. - -[_Finishes the beer._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -It's so much worse for me. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Oh, of course our own troubles are always the worst. That is what has -been called "The vanity of grief." - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Well, Miss Woodward, I'll say good-bye. I bear you no ill-will -now--really I don't; and I shall always be glad to hear that you are -doing well, although naturally under the circumstances I can hold out -no hopes of your coming back here. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_In amazement._] You, Mrs. Parbury, hold out hopes of my returning -here! Do you think there is enough money in the Bank of England to -induce me to do that? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I didn't mean it unkindly. I was only trying to say a nice womanly -thing, and to show you that I didn't blame you so much for falling in -love with my husband. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I never did. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Oh, Miss Woodward, you know I saw you here. [_Pointing to PARBURY'S -photograph._] It was the greatest shock of my life. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -You mean I kissed his photograph? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -You know you did. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_With a little laugh._] I suppose I did. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Then how can you say---- - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Gravely._] It was a motherly kiss. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Turning away._] It seems impossible to talk with you. I used to -think you a serious-minded person. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Please don't go, Mrs. Parbury, I'm quite serious. I'd like to explain. -I think I owe it to you. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Turning._] Well? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -You will let me be quite frank? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Oh, I shall like it. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I'll take the risk. [_Comes down L., sits on sofa._] Go on, please. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -The interest which I began to take in Mr. Parbury sprang in a way from -what has been called the maternal instinct. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -If you go through the world exercising your maternal instinct on other -women's husbands, Miss Woodward, you'll end badly. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I don't propose doing so. I'm going home to try it on my sisters. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -If you had known anything of life, you would have seen that I had -sufficient of the maternal instinct for the needs of my husband. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I'm very, very sorry; please don't be angry, but I didn't think it -found the right expression. It was very impudent of me, I know. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Very. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -It seemed to me that you smoothed his hair when he'd rather it was -rough, and roughed it when he'd rather it was smooth. [_Demurely._] I -think that expresses what I mean. I have a beastly sly way of noticing -everything, and I began to feel sorry for Mr. Parbury. And being quite -as egotistical as most girls, I began to think I should have made him -a better wife than you. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Oh. - -[_Rises._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Perhaps in the remotest corner of my heart I think so still. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Indignant._] Well? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -But I never loved him--never in the least degree. - -[_MRS. PARBURY, during the foregoing, has listened with anger -gathering in her face, but at the end, after an apparent momentary -struggle with herself, she bursts into laughter._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I'm glad you're not angry. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Still laughing._] It's impossible to be angry. And so because you -thought his wife bored him, you gave his photograph a nice motherly -kiss. That was very sweet of you, I'm sure. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -It was well meant, Mrs. Parbury; and you must always remember that I -didn't know you were looking. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Laughing, sits on sofa._] Why do you make me laugh when you must -know that my heart is breaking--that I have lost my happiness for -ever. [_Pause. She begins to laugh again. Rises._] And I thought you a -designing hussy, when you are only a very quaint and harmless girl. - -[_Laughs._ - -_Enter GUNNING, L.; keeps the door open._ - -GUNNING. - -I'm afraid I'm in the way. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Not at all. We have said all we had to say to each other. Oh, how that -girl has made me laugh! - -[_Exit MRS. PARBURY, L., laughing. GUNNING shuts the door._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Good-bye, Mr. Gunning. - -[_Gathering her books together._ - -GUNNING. - -I want a little talk with you. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I'm sorry I can't give you the time, - -GUNNING. - -Oh yes, you will, Miss Woodward. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Indeed? I admit my position is a lowly one, but that doesn't lessen -your presumption. - -[_Goes towards the door._ - -GUNNING. - -[_With conviction._] You won't go. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -But I will. - -GUNNING. - -My dear Miss Woodward, believe me, you will not. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -You don't propose using force, I suppose? - -GUNNING. - -No; I think you would like me to, but unfortunately this is not our -house, and one must observe the convenances. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Going to door, L._] Good-bye, Mr. Gunning. - -GUNNING. - -Moral force will detain you. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -What moral force, pray? - -[_Turning._ - -GUNNING. - -Curiosity. You know you are dying to know what I have to say. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Indeed I am not. - -GUNNING. - -Oh yes, you are. And further, a certain womanly graciousness will -prevent your going. You are saying to yourself, "Mr. Gunning has -evinced a genuine interest in me. It would be cattish of me to refuse -him a few minutes' talk." - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Slowly comes to sofa and puts her books down._] I certainly don't -wish to be cattish. - -GUNNING. - -Of course not. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Sits on sofa._] And anyway I want to eat my piece of cake. Will you -pass it, please? [_He passes the plate._] Thank you. I hope you won't -mind my eating. - -GUNNING. - -Not at all. I like it. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Not that I fear it would make any difference if you did. - -GUNNING. - -No, certainly not. Go on being natural, please. [_Pause. He watches -her nibbling the cake._] Shall I ring for a fresh piece? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -No, thank you. I'm used to this piece now. [_She glances up at him._] -You needn't be disconcerted, Mr. Gunning. - -GUNNING. - -I'm not a bit. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -You look it a little. - -GUNNING. - -Do I? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -And you know you didn't detain me here to watch me eating cake. - -GUNNING. - -No, although you do it very nicely. I want to ask you what you think -of me. - -[_Leaning on back of chair, R.C._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I haven't thought of you. - -GUNNING. - -Well, I'd like you to begin. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I'm afraid I haven't time now. - -GUNNING. - -It might be to your interest, though I don't say positively that it -would be. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Explain. - -[_Turns to him._ - -GUNNING. - -I think I ought first to tell you something about myself. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_In mock alarm._] Not the story of your life, surely. My cab will be -here soon. - -GUNNING. - -You told me yours last night? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -You asked me to. I haven't asked you. - -GUNNING. - -You needn't reproach me for taking an interest in you. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I don't; but you make such a fuss about it, as if it were a sort of -miracle. - -GUNNING. - -[_Crossly takes plate from her lap and cake from her hand; puts them -on table, R._] Oh well, I suppose I oughtn't to detain you, Miss -Woodward. You are evidently anxious to get back to your twelve sisters -and the hat and frock you told me about. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Rises._] You needn't throw the family poverty in my face, although -it serves me right for giving my confidence to a comparative stranger. - -GUNNING. - -Miss Woodward, I humbly beg your pardon. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Although the home may be grubby, I daresay we are as happy as you. We -believe in things, anyway--you don't. - -GUNNING. - -Don't judge me by a hasty remark. Besides, I had an alternative to -suggest. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -You? You don't want a secretary, do you? - -GUNNING. - -I--I wanted to tell you in a different way, but you won't let me. I -want you as my wife. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Your wife, Mr. Gunning? - -GUNNING. - -It may appear sudden and cold-blooded--but your cab is coming. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -You've taken my breath away. How exciting it is when it does come. I -really don't know what to say. I know there is a usual thing. It isn't -"To what am I indebted for this honour," is it? - -GUNNING. - -I don't know. I've never asked a girl before. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -We don't know each other in the least. - -GUNNING. - -That's where we would start with a big advantage. We'd have all the -pleasure of finding each other out. Anyway, you are not displeased. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Oh no; either way I score. If I say yes, I suppose I'll make a good -match. - -GUNNING. - -Pretty good. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -And if I say no, I shall at least be able to boast of a proposal. - -GUNNING. - -That's so. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Not that there's much satisfaction in that to a practical mind. - -GUNNING. - -No? [_Goes to her._] Try the other. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -But we don't love each other. - -GUNNING. - -Another big advantage. Love is the rock upon which so many -well-intentioned young persons split. They engage to marry each other -while the intelligence is perverted, the reason unbalanced, and the -judgment obscured by an overpowering sentiment. They enter into a -solemn life-binding contract in a highly emotional and altogether -unnormal moral condition. The disastrous results of such folly we see -examples of daily. We will escape that snare. [_He comes close to -her._] Of course if the sentiment should subsequently come, if that -particular kind of emotion should by chance supervene, we'll deal with -it as best we may. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Sits on arm of sofa._] Still there must be something in love-making. -I remember my sister and the curate seemed to have a very good time. -We all thought them fussy, but I know they liked it. - -GUNNING. - -I made love to you in the garden this morning. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Did you? I thought it was pity, and resented it - -GUNNING. - -You refused me a rose, and gave one---- - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I refused you because I thought you pitied me, and gave one to Mr. -Parbury because I pitied him. - -GUNNING. - -I'd like you to pity me. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -I _should_ if I said yes. [_Leaves him._] But I mean to say no. - -GUNNING. - -[_Following her._] You are afraid. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Of what? - -GUNNING. - -Of what people call my "nasty sneering way," for instance. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Confidently._] Oh, I could deal with that all right. - -GUNNING. - -I'm sure you could. [_Goes near to her._] Say yes, Hyacinth. - -_Enter EVANS, L._ - -EVANS. - -Your cab is here, Miss. - -GUNNING. - -[_To MISS WOODWARD, in low voice._] Send it away. [_She hesitates._] -Do. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Thank you, Evans. Let it wait. - -[_GUNNING moves away to C. with a satisfied smile._ - -EVANS. - -Yes, Miss. - -[_Exit L._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Good-bye, Mr. Gunning. If you were entirely different from what you -are, I think I could have liked you; or if I were entirely different -from what I am, I think I might have married you. But you are -hopelessly modern and cold-blooded, and I am only an old-fashioned, -healthy English girl, and a healthy English girl doesn't want to make -experiments, she wants to be loved. - -[_Suddenly GUNNING throws his arm round her, and bends forward to kiss -her. She quickly raises her clenched hand as if to strike him in the -face. He looks her in the eyes without flinching._ - -GUNNING. - -Perhaps she wants a master. - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Softly._] Perhaps. - -[_Her hand slowly drops; he kisses her._ - -COLONEL. - -[_Outside L._] No, my dear; I can't wait any longer. - -GUNNING. - -[_In a low voice to MISS WOODWARD._] The garden. Will you come and -find me a rose? - -MISS WOODWARD. - -Yes. - -_Enter COLONEL ARMITAGE, L., MRS. PARBURY, and MR. PARBURY._ - -[_MISS WOODWARD and GUNNING exeunt quickly to garden, R._ - -[_MRS. PARBURY comes down L. and sits on sofa. PARBURY goes R. and -sits, ARMITAGE remains C. They are all silent and uneasy. A -considerable pause, during which they are occupied with avoiding each -other's eyes._ - -COLONEL. - -A cheerful day. - -MR. PARBURY. - -Yes. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Very. - -[_Another uneasy pause._ - -COLONEL. - -Well, I must be going. - -MR. PARBURY. - -Don't go. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Please stay, father. - -[_Another pause._ - -COLONEL. - -[_With much irritation._] Well, you see I'm staying. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Thank you. - -MR. PARBURY. - -Thank you, Colonel. - -COLONEL. - -But I should like to know what the devil for? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Father! - -MR. PARBURY. - -Colonel! - -COLONEL. - -I really think I have cause to be angry. A more depressing function -than your luncheon party to-day I've never experienced. I think I have -a right to a little cheerfulness in my middle age. I'm sure I've -earned it. I've had a great deal to put up with in my life. - -MR. PARBURY. - -No doubt, no doubt. - -COLONEL. - -Of course I have always accepted my full share of the blame. That I -have felt to be only right and manly. [_Pause. He looks at CLEMENT._] -As for my late dear wife, her heart was rarely deaf to a proper -expression of regret. The memory of her I feel to be a blessing to -this day. [_He blows his nose sympathetically._] One thing I can tell -you, Mabel, that when your dear mother and I made it up--well, we -_did_ make it up. I am not without some very agreeable -recollections--most agreeable. [_Pause. He comes to MRS. PARBURY._] I -trust you won't require me tonight, my dear. I have to attend a -Masonic Banquet. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -No, father; I shan't want you. - -COLONEL. - -Then good-bye. [_Aside to her._] Be true to your own good heart. Your -dear mother was--sometimes. [_He kisses her, and then goes to -PARBURY._] Good-bye, Clement. [_Aside to him._] Bear up; I've been -there myself. [_He goes--aside at door._] Rather tactful, I -think--rather tactful. - -[_Exit L._ - -[_There is a constrained silence. MRS. PARBURY is particularly uneasy. -After a moment PARBURY rises, lights a cigarette, and stands at -mantelpiece._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Am I in the way, dear? Do you want to work? - -PARBURY. - -No. [_Rises, goes up R._] To-day must be a holiday. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Holidays are meant to be happy days. - -PARBURY. - -I suppose so. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Our happy days have gone. I suppose they will never come back. - -[_Very sadly._ - -PARBURY. - -It would be wiser to look for new ones than to weep over the old ones. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I'll not cry, dear; I promise you that. [_Pause. Suddenly rises and -turns to him._] Clement, can't we start again? - -PARBURY. - -Perhaps. But we must consider first where we now are and the direction -in which we should go. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Perhaps in your heart you are blaming me more than I deserve--I mean -about Miss Woodward. - -PARBURY. - -You chose to keep the motives of your conduct a secret from me. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I may have been wrong. I saw her kiss your photograph. - -PARBURY. - -[_Starts slightly._] Why didn't you tell me? [_Pause._] Why didn't you -tell me? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I thought--I thought it would be wiser not to. - -PARBURY. - -What have I ever done to earn so low an estimate of my character from -you--that I am not to be trusted with the knowledge that a foolish -girl had kissed my photograph. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Nothing, dear; nothing. But I was jealous--furious. I am sorry. [_She -is half-turned from him. He smiles very kindly, and half makes a step -forward as if to take her in his arms, then restrains himself._] -[_Drooping._] You are very, very angry with me? - -PARBURY. - -I am very, very pained. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Can't you forgive? - -PARBURY. - -Yes, that is forgiven. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -You say you forgive, but you don't make me feel it. [_Slight pause. He -is obviously tempted to come to her, but does not._] Won't you forget -too, and let us go back together? - -PARBURY. - -No, we can never go back. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Love counts for something, Clement. - -PARBURY. - -[_Comes to her._] Does love without respect count for very much? Would -you like to go back to the old way--the way of petty tyranny--the way -of the cowardly, unnecessary tear--the way of gaining your own ends at -all costs--the way of being a spoilt child, instead of a thoughtful -and considerate woman--the way of my own contemptible weakness? - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I never looked upon it in that light. I thought I was happy then. - -PARBURY. - -Because you never dreamed that my love was beginning to wear badly. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -[_Startled._] Clement! . . . Oh? [_Goes to him._] Good God! - -PARBURY. - -I don't want ever to think or speak of it again; but to-day I must, -for if we are honest with each other, we may be able in time to save -ourselves from that most pitiable and hideous of all states of -existence--what is called "a cat and dog life." Have you never seen -it--that domestic flower with the rotten heart? The thin outside -petals of courtesy, of hollow words of endearment before others, mask -the ugly truth from the casual and unobservant; but the intimate -friends know, and the prying eyes of the spiteful are undeceived. That -man and woman who appear in public wearing the veneered ghost of a -smile, are walking in hell. Think of their private lives--the slow -death of love; the hearts poisoned with bitterness; the ever-growing -rancour; the bandied insolences; the swift thoughts, black as murder; -the final dull monotony of aching hatred. Do you think such cases -rare? Every rank of society has its examples. Do you think such a -couple have deliberately sought their hell? Oh no; they may have -started as fairly as we did. Their love has not been slain by a blow, -it has been pecked to a cupboard skeleton by littlenesses--little -jealousies, little selfishnesses, little insults, little tyrannies, -little intolerances. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Clement, you terrify me. [C.R.] Oh, I am ashamed--ashamed. You have -made me shudder at the old way. Dear, if I have lost a particle of -your love, I'll win it back. You will show me the new way, won't you? - -PARBURY. - -The new way for us is the old way for the wise. It is a pleasant way -strewn with flowers, the flowers of self-abnegation--of sweet -reasonableness--of patient tolerance--of enduring trustfulness. -Walking in that way we seek diligently for the happiness, not of -ourselves, but of each other. Rising in the morning we say, not, I -will find happiness to-day, but I will give happiness to-day. In that -way lie peace, the fulfilment of our better selves, the full golden -harvest of love. - -[_As he speaks these words with deep sympathy, standing a little away -from her, she gradually draws nearer to him._ - -MRS. PARBURY. - -I will walk in that way with you, Clement. [_She stoops, and taking -one of his hands kisses it. Pause._] - -[_He stoops and raises her, and takes her in his arms._ - -_Enter MISS WOODWARD and GUNNING. GUNNING wears a rose in his coat._ - -GUNNING. - -Really--I beg your pardon. - -MRS. PARBURY. - -Don't trouble about us any more. We're reconciled. [_She remains in -her husband's arms._] - -[_GUNNING turns smilingly to MISS WOODWARD and takes her hand._ - -MISS WOODWARD. - -[_Smiling back upon GUNNING._] Don't trouble about us any more. We're -engaged. - -_Curtain._ - - - -Transcriber's Note - -This transcription is based on scanned images posted by the Internet -Archive from a copy in the University of California, Los Angeles -Library: - -archive.org/details/tyrannyoftearsco00chamiala - -The following changes were noted: - -- Throughout the text, the convention of long dashes at the end of -lines has been made consistent. - -- p. iii: ...his charming ruler, worldly-wise Gunning...--Changed -comma to a semicolon. - -- p. 25: [_Leans on back of sofa._--Added closing bracket. - -- p. 37: ..._MRS. PARBURY stands C., rather confused_].--Placed period -within brackets for consistency. - -- p. 52: ...the trouble of doing it to-morrow--Added period to end of -sentence. - -- p. 64: [_PARBURY rises; crosses to R. MRS. PARBURY follows -him._]--In html version, changed "_R._" to plain text for consistency. - -- p. 79: Three o'clock--Added period to end of line. - -- p. 95: _They all drink champagne..._--Added opening bracket. - -- p. 115: [_He goes slowly over GUNNING..._--Inserted "_to_" after -"_over_". - -- p. 123: Don t speak like that...--Inserted an apostrophe between -"Don" and "t". - -- p. 124: [_Slight pause. He takes her hand_].--Placed period within -brackets for consistency. - -- p. 139: Not the story of your life, surely--Added period to end of -sentence. - -- p. 149: ..._then restrains himself._][_Drooping._]...--In the -printed text, there was a line break between these two directions. -They have been placed on the same line for consistency. - -The html version of this etext attempts to reproduce the layout of the -printed text. However, some concessions have been made, partly to -simplify coding. For example, stage directions printed flush right at -the end of a line of dialogue without a closing bracket were placed on -the next line, indented the same amount from the left margin, and -coded as hanging paragraphs. - - - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's The Tyranny of Tears, by Charles Haddon Chambers - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TYRANNY OF TEARS *** - -***** This file should be named 42068-8.txt or 42068-8.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/2/0/6/42068/ - -Produced by Paul Haxo from page images generously made -available by the Internet Archive and the University of -California, Los Angeles Library. - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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