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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field, by Various
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field
+
+Author: Various
+
+Editor: J. A. Hammerton
+
+Illustrator: John Leech and others
+
+Release Date: March 15, 2012 [EBook #39160]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MR. PUNCH IN THE HUNTING FIELD ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Neville Allen, Chris Curnow and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+MR. PUNCH IN THE HUNTING FIELD
+
+PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR
+
+Edited by J. A. HAMMERTON
+
+Designed to provide in a series of volumes, each complete in itself, the
+cream of our national humour, contributed by the masters of comic
+draughtsmanship and the leading wits of the age to "Punch," from its
+beginning in 1841 to the present day.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: DISILLUSIONED
+
+Awful predicament of young Fitz-Brown, who, having undertaken to see a
+young lady safely home after a day with the Seaborough Harriers, has
+lost his way, and has climbed up what he takes to be a sign-post.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MR. PUNCH IN THE HUNTING FIELD
+
+AS PICTURED BY JOHN LEECH, CHARLES KEENE, PHIL MAY, RANDOLPH CALDECOTT,
+L. RAVEN-HILL, G. D. ARMOUR, G. H. JALLAND, ARTHUR HOPKINS,
+REGINALD CLEAVER, CECIL ALDIN, TOM BROWNE, W. L. HODGSON AND OTHERS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+_WITH 173 ILLUSTRATIONS_
+
+PUBLISHED BY ARRANGEMENT WITH THE PROPRIETORS OF "PUNCH"
+
+THE EDUCATIONAL BOOK CO. LTD.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR
+
+_Twenty-five volumes, crown 8vo, 192 pages fully illustrated_
+
+  LIFE IN LONDON
+  COUNTRY LIFE
+  IN THE HIGHLANDS
+  SCOTTISH HUMOUR
+  IRISH HUMOUR
+  COCKNEY HUMOUR
+  IN SOCIETY
+  AFTER DINNER STORIES
+  IN BOHEMIA
+  AT THE PLAY
+  MR. PUNCH AT HOME
+  ON THE CONTINONG
+  RAILWAY BOOK
+  AT THE SEASIDE
+  MR. PUNCH AFLOAT
+  IN THE HUNTING FIELD
+  MR. PUNCH ON TOUR
+  WITH ROD AND GUN
+  MR. PUNCH AWHEEL
+  BOOK OF SPORTS
+  GOLF STORIES
+  IN WIG AND GOWN
+  ON THE WARPATH
+  BOOK OF LOVE
+  WITH THE CHILDREN
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+EDITOR'S NOTE
+
+[Illustration]
+
+From his earliest days MR. PUNCH has been an enthusiast for the Hunting
+Field. But in this he has only been the faithful recorder of the manners
+of his countrymen, as there is no sport more redolent of "Merrie
+England" than that of the Horse and Hound. At no time in MR. PUNCH'S
+history has he been without an artist who has specialised in the humours
+of the hunt. First it was the inimitable Leech, some of whose drawings
+find a place in the present collection, and then the mantle of the
+sporting artist would seem to have descended to feminine shoulders, as
+Miss Bowers (Mrs. Bowers-Edwards) wore it for some ten years after 1866.
+That lady is also represented in the present work, at pages 49 and 111.
+Later came Mr. G. H. Jalland, many of whose drawings we have chosen for
+inclusion here. Perhaps the most popular of his hunting jokes was that
+of the Frenchman exclaiming, "Stop ze chasse! I tomble, I faloff! _Stop
+ze fox!!!_" (see page 141). To-day, of course, it is Mr. G. D. Armour
+whose pencil is devoted chiefly to illustrating the humorous side of
+hunting; but now, as formerly, most of the eminent artists whose work
+lies usually in other fields, delight at times to find a subject
+associated with the hunt. Thus we are able to present examples of Mr.
+Cecil Aldin and Mr. Raven-Hill in sportive mood, while such celebrities
+of the past as Randolph Caldecott and Phil May are here drawn upon for
+the enriching of this, the first book of hunting humour compiled from
+the abundant chronicles of MR. PUNCH.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: 'ARRY OUT WITH THE 'OUNDS]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MR. PUNCH IN THE HUNTING FIELD
+
+THE HUNTING SEASON
+
+(_By Jorrocks Junior_)
+
+    The season for hunting I see has begun,
+    So adieu for a time to my rod and my gun;
+    And ho! for the fox, be he wild or in bag,
+    As I follow the chase on my high-mettled nag.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "WEATHER PERMITTING,"--MR. PUNCH DRIVES TO THE FIRST
+MEET.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+    I call him high-mettled, but still I must state,
+    He hasn't a habit I always did hate,
+    He doesn't walk sideways, like some "gees" you meet,
+    Who go slantindicularly down the street.
+
+    He's steady and well broken in, for, of course,
+    I can't risk my life on an unbroken horse;
+    You might tie a torpedo or two on behind,
+    And though they exploded that horse wouldn't mind.
+
+    My strong point is costume, and oft I confess
+    I've admired my get-up in a sportsmanlike dress;
+    Though, but for the finish their lustre confers,
+    I would much rather be, I declare, without spurs.
+
+    They look very well as to cover you ride,
+    But I can't keep the things from the animal's side;
+    And the mildest of "gees," I am telling no fibs,
+    Will resent having liberties ta'en with his ribs.
+
+    Then hie to the cover, the dogs are all there,
+    And the horn of the hunter is heard on the air;
+    I've a horn of my own, which in secret I stow,
+    For, oddly enough, they don't like me to blow.
+
+    We'll go round by that gate, my good sir, if you please,
+    I'm one of your sportsmen who rides at his ease;
+    And I don't care to trouble my courser to jump,
+    For whenever he does I fall off in a lump.
+
+    Then haste to the meet! The Old Berkeley shall find,
+    If I don't go precisely as fast as the wind,
+    If they'll give my Bucephalus time to take breath,
+    We shall both of us, sometimes, be in at the death!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A LION IN THE PATH?
+
+Oh dear no! Merely the "_first open day_" after a long frost, and a
+tom-tit has been inconsiderate enough to fly suddenly out of the fence
+on the way to covert!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: TRIALS OF A NOVICE
+
+_Unsympathetic Bystander._ "Taking 'im back to 'is cab, guv'nor?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HOW THE LAST RUN OF THE WOPSHIRE HOUNDS WAS SPOILT.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+PROVERBS FOR THE TIMID HUNTSMAN
+
+_Dressing_
+
+There's no toe without a corn.
+
+If the boot pinches--bear it.
+
+_Breakfast_
+
+A snack in time, saves nine.
+
+Faint hunger never conquered tough beef-steak.
+
+_Mounting_
+
+You can't make a hunter out of a hired hack.
+
+The nearer the ground the safer the seat.
+
+_In the Field_
+
+Take care of the hounds, but the fence may take care of itself.
+
+Too many brooks spoil the sport.
+
+One pair of spurs may bring a horse to the water, but twenty will not
+make him jump.
+
+It is the howl that shows the funk.
+
+Fools break rails for wise men to go over.
+
+Snobs and their saddles are soon parted.
+
+_At Luncheon_
+
+A flask in the hand is worth a cask in the vault.
+
+Cut your sandwiches according to your stomach.
+
+_Coming Home_
+
+The nearer the home, the harder the seat.
+
+_Bed-time_
+
+It's a heavy sleep that has no turning.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: REALLY PLEASANT!
+
+Six miles from home, horse dead lame, awfully tender feet, and horribly
+tight boots.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "Now, if I jump it, I shall certainly fall off; and if I
+dismount to open it, I shall never get on again."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: This is Jones, who thought to slip down by the rail early
+in the morning, and have a gallop with the fox hounds. On looking out of
+the window, he finds it is a clear frosty morning. He sees a small boy
+sliding--actually sliding on the pavement opposite!! and--doesn't he
+hate that boy--and doesn't he say it is a beastly climate!!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: NEW SPORTING DICTIONARY OF FAMILIAR LATIN PHRASES.
+
+(1) Labour omnia vincit. (Labor overcomes everything.)]
+
+[Illustration: (2) Ars est celare artem. "Après vous, mademoiselle!"]
+
+[Illustration: (3) Exeunt Omnes. (They all go off.)]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A GENUINE SPORTSWOMAN
+
+_Mrs. Shodditon_ (_to Captain Forrard, on a cub-hunting morning_). "I do
+hope you'll have good sport, and find plenty of foxes."
+
+_Captain Forrard._ "Hope so. By the way, how is that beautiful collie of
+yours that I admired so much?"
+
+_Mrs. Shodditon._ "Oh! Fanny! poor dear! Our keeper shot it by mistake
+for a fox!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Short-sighted Party_ (_thrown earlier, after weary tramp,
+thinks he sees mount on ploughed upland, and approaches bush
+coaxingly_). "Whoa, my beauty! Steady, my gal, steady then," &c.]
+
+[Illustration: _Same Short-sighted Party arrived at thornbush, discovers
+error, and reflects_--"Five miles from station, perhaps
+ten--fifty miles from town, missed express, missed dinner, lost mount,
+wet through, getting dusk, and, by the way, where am I?"
+    [_Left reflecting_.
+
+]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Gorgeous Stranger._ "I say, Huntsman, would you mind
+blowing your horn two or three times? I want my fellow, who has my
+flask, to know where we are, don't you know!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+DIARY OF THE MODERN HUNT SECRETARY
+
+     "Capping all non-subscribers is pretty generally resorted to, this
+     season, not only in the shires, but also with provincial
+     packs."--_Daily Press._]
+
+_Monday._--Splendid gallop after non-subscriber. Spotted the quarry on
+good-looking chestnut, whilst we were drawing big covert. Edged my horse
+over in his direction, but non-subscriber very wary--think he must have
+known my face as "collector of tolls." Retired again to far side of
+spinney and disguised myself in pair of false whiskers, which I always
+keep for these occasions. Craftily sidled up, and finally got within
+speaking distance, under cover of the whiskers, which effectually masked
+my battery. "Beg pardon, sir," I began, lifting my hat, "but I don't
+think I have the pleasure of knowing your name as a subscri----" But he
+was off like a shot. Went away over a nice line of country, all grass,
+and a good sound take-off to most of the fences. Non-subscriber had got
+away with about a three lengths lead of me, and that interval was fairly
+maintained for the first mile and a half of the race. Then, felt most
+annoyed to see that my quarry somewhat gained on me as we left the
+pasture land and went across a holding piece of plough. Over a stiff
+post and rails, and on again, across some light fallow, towards a big
+dry ditch. The hunted one put his horse resolutely at it--must say he
+rode very straight, but what _won't_ men do to avoid "parting?"--horse
+jumped short and disappeared from view together with his rider. Next
+moment I had also come a cropper at ditch, and rolled down on top of my
+prey. "Excuse me," I said, taking out my pocket-book and struggling to
+my knees in six inches of mud, "but when you rather abruptly started
+away from covertside, I was just about to remark that I did not think
+you were a subscriber, and that I should have much pleasure in taking
+the customary 'cap'--thank you." And he paid up quite meekly. We agreed,
+as we rode back together, in the direction in which we imagined hounds
+to be, that even if they had got away with a good fox, the field would
+not be likely to have had so smart a gallop as he and I had already
+enjoyed. Lost my day's hunting, of course.
+
+_Thursday._--Got away after another non-subscriber, led him over four
+fields, after which he ran me out of sight. Lost my day's hunting again,
+but was highly commended by M.F.H. for my zeal.
+
+_Saturday._--M.F.H. pointed out five non-subscribers, and I at once
+started off to "cap" them. Lost another day with hounds--shall send in
+my resignation.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Gent_ (_who has just executed a double somersault and is
+somewhat dazed_). "Now where the dickens has that horse gone to?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: ON EXMOOR
+
+_Gent_ (_very excited after his first gallop with staghounds_). "Hi,
+mister, don't let the dogs maul 'im, and I'll take the 'aunch at a bob a
+pound!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: COOKED ACCOUNTS
+
+_Extract from old Fitzbadly's letter to a friend, describing a run in
+the Midlands:_--"I was well forward at the brook, but lost my hat, and
+had to dismount."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "Hup--yer beast!"]
+
+[Illustration: "Hup!!--yer brute!"]
+
+[Illustration: "Hup!!!--yer infernal, confounded ---- Hover!!!"]
+
+[Illustration: And "Hover" it was!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: SOMETHING LIKE A NOSE.
+
+_Whip_ (_after galloping half a mile to a holloa_). "Where did you see
+him?"
+
+_Yokel._ "Can't zay as 'ow I 'zactly _zeed_ 'un, but I think I _smelled_
+'un!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Second Horseman No. 1._ "Ulloah, Danny, what are you
+lookin' for?"
+
+_Second Horseman No. 2._ "Perkisites. Guv'nor's just been over 'ere. 'E
+jumps so much 'igher than 'is 'orse, there's always some small change or
+summat to be picked up!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE NEW NIMROD
+
+     [Mr. Pat O'Brien, M.P., was first in at the death on one occasion
+     with the Meath Hounds on his bicycle, and was presented with the
+     brush.]
+
+Air--"_The Hunting Day_"
+
+      "What a fine hunting day"--
+      'Tis an old-fashioned lay
+    That I'll change to an up-to-date pome;
+      Old stagers may swear
+      That the pace isn't fair,
+    But they're left far behind us at home!
+    See cyclists and bikes on their way,
+    And scorchers their prowess display;
+      Let us join the glad throng
+      That goes wheeling along,
+    And we'll all go a-hunting to-day!
+
+      New Nimrods exclaim,
+      "Timber-topping" is tame,
+    And "bull-finches" simply child's play;
+      And they don't care a jot
+      For a gallop or trot,
+    Though they _will_ go a-hunting to-day.
+    There's a fox made of clockwork, they say
+    They'll wind him and get him away;
+      He runs with a rush
+      On rails with his brush,
+    So we must go and chase him to-day.
+
+      We've abolished the sounds
+      Of the horn and the hounds--
+    'Tis the bicycle squeaker that squeals
+      And the pack has been stuffed,
+      Or sent to old Cruft,
+    Now the huntsmen have taken to wheels!
+    Hairy country no more we essay,
+    Five bars, too, no longer dismay,
+      For we stick to the roads
+      In the latest of modes,
+    So we'll bike after Reynard to-day!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE LANGUAGE OF SPORT.
+
+"Where the----! What the----!! Who the----!!! Why the----!!!!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: COMFORTING, VERY!
+
+_Sportsman (who has mounted friend on bolting mare) shouts._ "You're all
+right, old chap! She's never been known to refuse water, and swims like
+a fish!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Old Stubbles_ (_having pounded the swells_). "Aw--haw----!
+laugh away, but who be the roight side o' the fence, masters?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: CUB HUNTING
+
+1. "Ah, my boys," said Percy Johnson, "give me a good old hurry and
+scurry--Heigh O! gee whoa!--over the downs and through the brushwood
+after the cubs. So, early in the morning as you like. What can be more
+exhilarating?"
+
+2. So, in happy anticipation of the morrow's meet, he retired.]
+
+[Illustration: 3. Later, at 4 a.m., the butler came to rouse him. "Sir!"
+A pause. "Sir, th' 'osses be very nigh ready!" Uncertain voice from
+within--"Eh? good-night! Remember to call me early in the morning!"
+
+4. Snoring resumed _in infinitum_. Still, Percy looked rather sheepish
+later on, when the others pretended they had missed him on the road, and
+inquired whether he had found the morning as exhilarating as he had
+expected.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MY LITTLE BROWN MARE
+
+(_A Song for the commencement of the Hunting Season_)
+
+    She's rather too lean but her head's a large size,
+    And she hasn't the average number of eyes;
+    Her hind legs are not what you'd call a good pair,
+    And she's broken both knees, has my little brown mare.
+
+    You can find some amusement in counting each rib,
+    And she bites when she's hungry like mad at her crib;
+    When viewed from behind she seems all on the square,
+    She's quite a Freemason--my little brown mare.
+
+    Her paces are rather too fast, I suppose,
+    For she often comes down on her fine Roman nose,
+    And the way she takes fences makes hunting men stare,
+    For she backs through the gaps does my little brown mare.
+
+    She has curbs on her hocks and no hair on her knees;
+    She has splints and has spavins wherever you please?
+    Her neck, like a vulture's, is horribly bare,
+    But still she's a beauty, my little brown mare.
+
+    She owns an aversion to windmills and ricks,
+    When passing a waggon she lies down and kicks;
+    And the clothes of her groom she'll persistently tear--
+    But still she's no vice has my little brown mare.
+
+    When turned down to grass she oft strays out of bounds;
+    She always was famous for snapping at hounds;
+    And even the baby has learnt to beware
+    The too playful bite of my little brown mare.
+
+    She prances like mad and she jumps like a flea,
+    And her waltz to a brass band is something to see:
+    No circus had ever a horse, I declare,
+    That could go through the hoops like my little brown mare.
+
+    I mount her but seldom--in fact, to be plain,
+    Like the Frenchman, when hunting I "do not remain:"
+    Since I've only one neck it would hardly be fair
+    To risk it in riding my little brown mare!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: TROUBLES OF A WOULD-BE SPORTSMAN
+
+_Huntsman_ (_to W.B.S._). "Just 'op across, would ye, sir, and turn
+those 'ounds to me, please."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: RESPICE FINEM
+
+_Excited Shepherd_ (_to careful Sportsman, inspecting fence with slight
+drop_). "Come on, sir! All right! Anywhere 'ere!"
+
+_Careful Sportsman._ "All very fine! You want to give me a fall, and get
+half-a-crown for catching my horse!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "WEEDS"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "'WARE WIRE!"
+
+"Hallo, Jack! What's up?"
+
+"Don' know! I'm not!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MISPLACED ENERGY
+
+_Huntsman_ (_seeking a beaten fox_). "Now then, have you seen anything
+of him?"
+
+_Cockney Sportsman_ (_immensely pleased with himself_). "Well, rather!
+Why, I've just driven him into this drain for you!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "WHILE YOU WAIT"
+
+"Here, my good man, just pull those rails down. Be as quick as you can!"
+
+"Take 'em down, miss! It'll be a good four hours' job, for I've been all
+the mornin' a-puttin' of 'em up!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: ECHOES OF THE CHASE. BOXING DAY
+
+_Holiday Sportsman_ (_to Whip, who has been hollering_). "Where's the
+fox?"
+
+_Whip._ "Gone away, of course."
+
+_H. S._ "Gone away! Wotcher makin' all that noise for, then? I thought
+you'd caught 'im!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: EASILY SATISFIED
+
+_Gent_ (_who all but dissolved partnership at the last fence_). "Thank
+goodness I've got hold of the reins again! If I could but get my foot
+into that confounded stirrup, I should be all right!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A Nice Prospect
+
+_Host_ (_to Perks, an indifferent horseman, who has come down for the
+hunting_). "Now, look here, Perks, old chap, as you're a light weight,
+I'll get you to ride this young mare of mine. You see, I want to get her
+qualified for our Hunt Cup, and she's not up to my weight, or I'd ride
+her myself. Perhaps I'd better tell you she hasn't been ridden to hounds
+before, so she's sure to be a bit nervous at first; and mind you steady
+her at the jumps, as she's apt to rush them; and I wouldn't take her too
+near other people, as she has a nasty temper, and knows how to use her
+heels; and, whatever you do, don't let her get you down, or she'll tear
+you to pieces. The last man that rode her is in hospital now. But keep
+your eye on her, and remember what I've said, and you'll be all right!"
+
+    [_Consternation of Perks_
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+'ARRY ON 'ORSEBACK
+
+    Our 'Arry goes 'unting and sings with a will,
+    "The 'orn of the 'unter is 'eard on the 'ill:"
+    And oft, when a saddle looks terribly bare,
+    The 'eels of our 'Arry are seen in the air!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: 'W. STANDS FOR WIRE'
+
+"Hulloah, Jarge! Been puttin' up some wire to keep the fox-hunter away?"
+
+"Noa, I b'ain't put up no wire; but the 'unt they sends me a lot o' them
+boards with 'W' on um, so I just stuck 'em up all round the land, and
+they never comes nigh o' me now!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE HUNTING SEASON
+
+_Rector._ "Is that the parcels post, James? He's early this morning,
+isn't he?" (_Noise without, baying of dogs, &c._) "What's all this----"
+
+_James_ (_excited_). "Yes, sir. Postman says as how the young 'ounds, a
+comin' back from cubbin', found 'im near the kennels, and runned 'im all
+the way 'ere. They was close on 'im when he got in! Thinks it was a
+packet o' red 'errins in the bag, sir! I see the run from the pantry
+window"--(_with enthusiasm_)--"a beautiful ten minutes' bu'st, sir!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "Duck, you fool! Duck!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+HUNTING "DAY BY DAY"
+
+"The Mudsquashington Foxhounds had a good day's sport from Wotsisname
+Coverts (which were laid for a large number). They found in Thingamy
+Woods, rattled him round the Osier Beds, and then through the Gorse,
+just above Sumware. Leaving this and turning left-handed, he ran on as
+far as Sumotherplace, where he finally got to ground. Amongst the
+numerous field were Lord Foozle and Lady Frump, Messrs. Borkins,
+Poshbury, and Tomkyn-Smith."[A]
+
+[Footnote A: Half a dozen similar paragraphs cut out as being too
+exciting for the average reader's brain to bear.--ED.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+AT MELTON
+
+_First Sportsman._ "That crock of yours seems to be a bit of a
+songster."
+
+_Second Sportsman._ "Yes, he has always been like that since I lent him
+to a well-known English tenor."
+
+_First Sportsman_ (_drily_). "You should have taken him in exchange."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A NICE BEGINNING.
+
+The above is not a French bull-fight, but merely the unpleasant
+adventure Mr. Jopling experienced on our opening day, when a skittish
+Alderney crossed him at the first fence.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: 'ARRY ON 'ORSEBACK
+
+_'Arry_ (_in extremities_). "Well, gi' _me_ a _bike_!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: CONVENIENCE OF A LIGHT-WEIGHT GROOM
+
+_Miss Ethel._ "Now, sit tight this time, Charles. How could you be so
+stupid as to let him go?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Voice from the ditch._ "Don't jump here!"
+
+_Irish Huntsman._ "And what would ye be after down there?
+Wather-cresses?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+RATHER
+
+"Is fox-hunting dangerous?" asks one of our daily papers. A fox informs
+us that it has its risks.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Rough Rider_ (_to old Creeper, who will not let his
+horse jump_). "Now then, gov'nor, if you are quite sure you can't get
+under it, perhaps you'll let me 'ave a turn!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+PROOF POSITIVE
+
+_Podson_ (_lately returned from abroad_). "Well, I hear you've been
+having a capital season, Thruster."
+
+_Thruster._ "Oh, rippin'! Why, I've had both collar-bones broken, left
+wrist sprained, and haven't got a sound horse left in my string!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: INEXPRESSIBLE
+
+_Master Jack_ (_son of M.F.H., much upset by hard weather_). "Go skating
+with you! Not if I know it. May be all very well for you women and those
+curate chaps--but we hunting men, by George!!!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+BY THE COVERT SIDE
+
+_Fred_ (_a notorious funk_). "Bai Jove! Jack, I'm afraid I've lost my
+nerve this season!"
+
+_Jack._ "Have you? Doosid sorry for the poor beggar who finds it!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Elderly Sportsman._ "I wonder they don't have that place
+stopped. Why, I remember running a fox to ground there twenty years ago!
+Don't you?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THEORY AND PRACTICE; OR, WHY THE ENGAGEMENT WAS BROKEN
+OFF
+
+_Lady Di_ (_to Jack, whose vows of devotion have been interrupted by a
+fox being hollered away_). "Oh, Jack, my hair's coming down! Do stop and
+hold my horse. I won't be five minutes."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: AWFUL RESULT OF THE WAR!
+
+_A Dream of Mr. Punch's Sporting Correspondent_
+
+     ["Mr. Arthur Wilson, Master of the Holderness Hunt, has received an
+     intimation from the War Office that, in consequence of the war with
+     the Transvaal, ten of his horses will be required."--_Daily
+     Paper._]
+
+]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "NO FOLLOWERS ALLOWED"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: ROBBERY WITH VIOLENCE
+
+_Lady_ (_who has just jumped on fallen Sportsman_). "I'm awfully sorry!
+I hope we didn't hurt you?"
+
+_Fallen Sportsman._ "Oh, I'm all right, thanks. But--er--do you mind
+leaving me my hat?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+IN THE MIDLANDS
+
+_Belated Hunting Man_ (_to Native_). "Can you kindly point out the way
+to the Fox and Cock Inn?"
+
+_Native._ "D'ye mean the Barber's Arms?"
+
+_B. H. M._ "No, the Fox and Cock!"
+
+_Native._ "Well, that's what we call the Barber's Arms."
+
+_B. H. M._ "Why so?"
+
+_Native_ (_with a hoarse laugh_). "Well, ain't the Fox and Cock the same
+as the Brush and Comb?"
+
+     [_Vanishes into the gloaming, leaving the B. H. M. muttering those
+     words which are not associated with benediction, while he wearily
+     passes on his way._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+APPROPRIATE TO THE WINTER SEASON
+
+For sportsmen, the old song long ago popular, entitled "_There's a Good
+Time Coming, Boys_," if sung by a M.F.H. with a bad cold, as thus:
+"_There's a Good Tibe Cubbing, Boys!_"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: Mr. Briggs's hunting cap comes home, but that is really a
+thing Mrs. Briggs _can_ not, and _will_ not put up with!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: Mr. Briggs goes out with the Brighton Harriers. He has a
+capital day. The only drawback is, that he is obliged to lead his horse
+_up_ hill to ease him--]
+
+       * * *
+
+[Illustration: and _down_ hill because he is afraid of going over his
+head--so that he doesn't get quite so much horse exercise as he could
+wish!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+AT THE HUNT BALL
+
+(_The Sad Complaint of a Man in Black_)
+
+    O MOLLY, dear, my head, I fear, is going round and round,
+    Your cousin isn't in the hunt, when hunting men abound;
+    A waltz for me no more you'll keep, the girls appear to think
+    There's a law been made in favour of the wearing of the pink.
+    Sure I met you in the passage, and I took you by the hand,
+    And says I, "How many dances, Molly, darlint, will ye stand?"
+    But your card was full, you said it with a most owdacious wink,
+    And I'm "hanging" all your partners for the wearing of the pink!
+    You'd a waltz for Charlie Thruster, but you'd divil a one for me,
+    Though he dances like a steam-engine, as all the world may see;
+    'Tis an illigant divarsion to observe the crowd divide,
+    As he plunges down the ball-room, taking couples in his stride.
+    'Tis a cropper you'll be coming, but you know your business best,
+    Still, it's bad to see you romping round with Charlie and the rest;
+    Now you're dancing with Lord Arthur--sure, he's had enough to dhrink--
+    And I'm "hanging" all your partners for the wearing of the pink!
+    Your cruelty ashamed you'll be someday to call to mind,
+    You'll be glad to ask my pardon, then, for being so unkind,
+    The hunting men are first, to-night--well, let them have their whack--
+    You'll be glad to dance with me, someday--when all the coats are black!
+    But, since pink's the only colour now that fills your pretty head,
+    Bedad, I'll have some supper, and then vanish home to bed.
+    'Tis the most distressful ball-room I was ever in, I think,
+    And I'm "hanging" all your partners for the wearing of the pink!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: MR. BRIGGS HAS ANOTHER DAY WITH THE HOUNDS
+
+Mr. Briggs can't bear flying leaps, so he makes for a gap--which is
+immediately filled by a frantic Protectionist, who is vowing that he
+will pitchfork Mr. B. if he comes "galloperravering" over his
+fences--danged if he doant!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A DOUBTFUL INFORMANT
+
+_Miss Connie_ (_to Gent in brook_). "Could you tell me if there is a
+bridge anywhere handy?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: NOT TO BE BEATEN
+
+_Cissy._ "Why should they call the hare's tail the scut?"
+
+_Bobby_ (_with a reputation as an authority to keep up_). "Oh--er--why
+you see--oh, of course, because the hare scuttles, you know, when she is
+hunted."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+WHY HE WAITED
+
+"What's the matter with Jack's new horse? He won't start."
+
+"Don't know; but they say he's been in an omnibus. Perhaps he's waiting
+for the bell!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE PLEASURES OF HUNTING
+
+To get a toss in a snowdrift, and, while lying half-smothered, to be
+sworn at for not shouting to warn the man following you.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+SO CONSOLING
+
+_Lady_ (_whose mare has just kicked a member of the Hunt, who was
+following too closely_). "Oh, I'm so sorry! I do hope it didn't hurt
+you! She's such a gentle thing, and could only have done it in the
+merest play, you know."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: POSITIVELY OSTENTATIOUS
+
+_Mr. Phunkstick_ (_quite put out_). "Talk about agricultural depression,
+indeed! Don't believe in it! Never saw fences kept in such disgustingly
+good order in my life!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+IRISH HUNTING TIPPLE
+
+_Englishman_ (_having partaken of his friend's flask, feels as if he had
+swallowed melted lead_). "Terribly strong! Pure whiskey, is it not?"
+
+_Irishman._ "Faith! not at all! It's greatly diluted with gin!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: IN A SHOOTING COUNTRY
+
+_Railway Porter_ (_who has been helping lady to mount_). "I hope you'll
+'ave a good day, ma'am."
+
+_Lady Diana._ "I just hope we'll find a fox."
+
+_Porter_ (_innocently_). "Oh, that's all right, ma'am. The fox came down
+by the last train!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: INSULT TO INJURY
+
+_Fitz-Noodle's Harriers, after a capital run, have killed--a fox!_
+
+_Incensed local M.F.H._ "Confound it, sir, you have killed one of my
+foxes!"
+
+_F. N._ "It's all right, old chap! You may kill one of my hares!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+HUNTING SONG
+
+(_To be sung when the Hounds meet at Colney Hatch or Hanwell_)
+
+    Tantivy! Anchovy! Tantara!
+    The moon is up, the moon is up,
+      The larks begin to fly,
+    And like a scarlet buttercup
+      Aurora gilds the sky.
+    Then let us all a-hunting go,
+      Come, sound the gay French horn,
+    And chase the spiders to and fro,
+      Amid the standing corn.
+    Tantivy! Anchovy! Tantara!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+UNCOMMONLY KEEN
+
+"Why, where's the horse, Miss Kitty? By Jove, you're wet through! What
+has happened?"
+
+"Oh, the stupid utterly refused to take that brook, so I left him and
+swam it. I couldn't miss the end of this beautiful thing!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: IN A BLIND DITCH
+
+_Sportsman_ (_to friend, whom he has mounted on a raw four-year-old for
+"a quiet morning's outing"_). "Bravo, Jack! Well done! That's just what
+the clumsy beggar wanted. Teach him to look where he's going!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: DRY HUMOUR
+
+"Be'n't ye comin' over for 'im, mister?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: WIREPROOF
+
+Sir Harry Hardman, mounted on "Behemoth," created rather a stir at the
+meet. He said he didn't care a hang for the barbed or any other kind of
+wire.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A SKETCH FROM THE MIDLANDS
+
+"Hulloa, old chap! Not hurt, I hope?"
+
+"Oh, no, no! Just got off to have a look at the view."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Whip._ "Here, here! Hold hard! Come back!"
+
+_Tommy_ (_home for the holidays_). "No jolly fear! You want to get first
+start!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"BUSINESS FIRST"
+
+_Favourite Son of M.F.H._ (_to old huntsman_). "No, Smith, you won't see
+much more of me for the rest of the season; if at all."
+
+_Smith_ (_with some concern_). "Indeed, sir! 'Ow's that?"
+
+_Son of M.F.H._ "Well, you see, I'm reading hard."
+
+_Smith_ (_interrogatively_). "Readin' 'ard, sir?"
+
+_Son of M.F.H._ "Yes, I'm reading Law."
+
+_Smith._ "Well, I likes to read a bit o' them perlice reports myself,
+sir, now an' then; but I don't allow 'em to hinterfere with a honest
+day's 'untin'."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+AN OMISSION BEST OMITTED
+
+_Brown_ (_on foot_). "Do you know what the total is for the season?"
+
+_Simkins_ (_somewhat new to country life_). "Fifteen pairs of foxes, the
+huntsman says. But he seems to have kept no count of rabbits or 'ares,
+and I know they've killed and eaten a lot of those!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: PUTTING IT NICELY
+
+_Young Lady_ (_politely, to old Gentleman who is fiddling with gap_). "I
+don't wish to hurry you, sir, but when you have quite finished your game
+of spilikins I should like to come!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: TERPSICHOREAN
+
+_Sportsman_ (_to Dancing Man, who has accepted a mount_). "Hold on
+tight, sir, and she'll _waltz_ over with you."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Benevolent Stranger._ "Allow me, sir, to offer you a
+drink!"
+
+_Unfortunate Sportsman_ (_just out of brook_). "Thanks; but I've had a
+drop too much already!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE MAGIC WORD
+
+_Huntsman_ (_having run a fox to ground, to yokel_). "Run away down and
+get some o' your fellows to come up with spades, will ye? Tell 'em we're
+after hidden treasure!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A CAPITAL DODGE
+
+Among his native banks Old Poddles takes a lot of beating. He says
+there's nothing easier when you know how to negotiate 'em.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+HUNTING EXTRAORDINARY
+
+Jobson, who edits a cheerful little weekly, said to me the other day:
+
+"You hunt, don't you?"
+
+I looked at him knowingly. Jobson interpreted my smile according to his
+preconceived idea.
+
+"I thought so," he continued.
+
+"Well, you might do me a bright little article--about half a column, you
+know--on hunting, will you?"
+
+Why should I hesitate? Jobson is safe for cash; and he had not asked me
+to give my own experiences of the hunting field. I replied warily, "I
+fancy I know the sort of thing you want."
+
+"Good," he said, and before we could arrive at any detailed explanation
+he had banged the door and dashed downstairs, jumped into his hansom and
+was off.
+
+This was the article:-
+
+THOUGHTS ON HUNTING.
+
+It is hardly possible to overrate the value of hunting as a National
+sport. Steeplechasing is a Grand-National sport, but it is the sport of
+the rich, whereas hunting is not. By judiciously dodging the Hunt
+Secretary, you can, in fact, hunt for nothing. Of course, people will
+come at me open-mouthed for this assertion, and say, "How about the keep
+of your horses?" To which I reply, "If you keep a carriage, hunt the
+carriage horse; if you don't, borrow a friend's horse for a long ride in
+the country, and accidentally meet the hounds." To proceed. This has
+been a season of poor scent. Of course, the horses of the present day
+have deteriorated as line hunters: they possess not the keen sense of
+smell which their grandsires had. But despite this the sport goes gaily
+on. There are plenty of foxes--but we cannot agree with the popular idea
+of feeding them on poultry. And yet, in every hunt, we see hunters
+subscribing to poultry funds. This is not as it should be: Spott's meat
+biscuit would be much better for foxes' food.
+
+But these be details: let us hie forrard and listen to the cheery voice
+of sly Reynard as he is winded from his earth. The huntsman blows his
+horn, and soon the welkin rings with a chorus of brass instruments; the
+tufters dash into covert, and anon the cheerful note of _Ponto_ or
+_Gripper_ gives warning that a warrantable fox is on foot--well, of
+course, he couldn't be on horseback, but this is merely a venatorial
+_façon de parler_. Away go the huntsmen, showing marvellous dexterity in
+cracking their whips and blowing their horns at the same moment. Last of
+all come the hounds, trailing after their masters--ah, good dogs, you
+cannot hope to keep up very far with the swifter-footed horses!
+Nevertheless, they strain at their leashes and struggle for a better
+place at the horses' heels. "Hike forrard! tally ho! whoo-hoop!" They
+swoop over the fields like a charge of cavalry. But after several hours'
+hard running a check is at hand: the fox falters, then struggles on
+again, its tail waving over its head. As its pursuers approach, it
+rushes up a tree to sit on the topmost branch and crack nuts.
+
+The panting horses arrive--some with their riders still in the saddle,
+though many, alas! have fallen by the wayside. Next come the hounds, at
+a long interval--poor _Fido_, poor _Vic_, poor _Snap_! you have done
+your best to keep up, but the horses have out-distanced you! The
+whipper-in immediately climbs the tree in which the little red-brown
+animal still peacefully cracks its nuts, its pretty tail curled well
+over its head. Its would-be captor carries a revolving wire cage, and,
+by sleight-of-hand movement, manages to get the quarry securely into it.
+Then he descends, places the cage in a cart and it is driven home.
+
+The "mort" is sounded by four green velvet-coated huntsmen, with horns
+wound round their bodies; a beautiful brush presented to the lady who
+was first up at the "take"; and then the field slowly disperse. Tally
+Ho-Yoicks! all is over for the day.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: MANNERS IN THE FIELD
+
+Always be prepared to give the lead to a lady, even at some little
+personal inconvenience.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE PLEASURES OF HUNTING
+
+Having been cannoned and nearly brought down, to be asked if you are
+trying the American seat.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HUNTING SKETCH
+
+The Cast Shoe, or Late for the Meat.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A KINDLY VIEW OF IT
+
+_First Rustic_ (_to Second Ditto_). "Oh, I say! Ain't he fond of his
+horse!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _M.F.H._ "Hold hard! Hold hard, please!! Where _are_ you
+going with that brute?"
+
+_Diana_ (_plaintively_). "I wish I knew!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE LAST DAY OF HUNTING
+
+(_Stanzas for the First of April_)
+
+    Right day to bid a long farewell
+      To the field's gladsome glee;
+    To hang the crop upon its peg,
+      The saddle on its tree.
+    All Fools' the day, all Fools' the deed,
+      That hunting's end doth bring--
+    With all those stinking violets,
+      And humbug of the Spring!
+
+    Good-bye to pig-skin and to pink,
+      Good-bye to hound and horse!
+    The whimpering music sudden heard
+      From cover-copse and gorse;
+    The feathering stems, the sweeping ears,
+      The heads to scent laid low,
+    The find, the burst, the "Gone-away!"
+      The rattling "Tally-ho!"
+
+    My horses may eat off their heads,
+      My huntsman eat his heart;
+    My hounds may dream of kills and runs
+      In which they've borne their part,
+    Until the season's bore is done,
+      And Parliament set free,
+    And cub-hunting comes back again
+      To make a man of me!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "A-HUNTING WE WILL GO!"
+
+_Lady._ "You're dropping your fish!"
+
+_Irish Fish Hawker_ (_riding hard_). "Och, bad luck to thim! Niver
+moind. Sure we're kapin' up wid the gentry!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: JUMPING POWDER
+
+(_Mr. Twentystun having a nip on his way to covert_)
+
+_Small Boy._ "Oh my, Billy, 'ere's a heighty-ton gun a chargin' of
+'isself afore goin' into haction!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: DRAWN BLANK
+
+_Huntsman._ "How is it you never have any foxes here now?"
+
+_Keeper_ (_who has orders to shoot them_). "Pheasants have eat 'em all!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE ADVANTAGE OF EDUCATION
+
+_M.F.H._ (_who has had occasion to reprimand hard-riding Stranger_). "I'm
+afraid I used rather strong language to you just now."
+
+_Stranger._ "Strong language? A mere _twitter_, sir. You should hear
+_our_ Master!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Irate Non-sporting Farmer._ "Hi! you there! What the
+Duce do you mean by riding over my wheat!"
+
+_'Arry._ "'Ere, I say! What are yer givin' us? _Wheat!_ Why, it's only
+bloomin' _mud!_"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"FOOT AND MOUTH" TROUBLE
+
+A valuable hunter, belonging to Mr. Durlacher, got its hind foot
+securely fixed in its mouth one day last week, and a veterinary surgeon
+had to be summoned to its assistance. This recalls the ancient Irish
+legend of the man who never opened his mouth without putting his foot
+into it. But that, of course, was a bull.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+DECIDEDLY NOT
+
+_Nervous Visitor_ (_pulling up at stiff-looking fence_). "Are you going to
+take this hedge, sir?"
+
+_Sportsman._ "No. It can stop where it is, as far as I'm concerned."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+UNGRATEFUL
+
+_The Pride of the Hunt_ (_to Smith, who, for the last ten minutes, has
+been gallantly struggling with obstinate gate_). "Mr. Smith, if you
+really _can't_ open that gate, perhaps you will kindly move out of the
+way, and allow me to _jump_ it!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: APT
+
+_Brown_ (_helping lady out of water_). "'Pon my word, Miss Smith, you
+remind me exactly of What's-her-name rising from the What-you-call!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A CHECK
+
+_M.F.H._ (_riding up to old Rustic, with the intention of asking him if he
+has seen the lost fox_). "How long have you been working here, master?"
+
+_Old Rustic_ (_not seeing the point_). "Nigh upon sixty year, mister!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "WHAT'S IN A NAME?"
+
+_Whip._ "_Wisdom!_ Get away there!! _Wisdom!! Wisdom!!!_ Ugh!--you
+always were the biggest fool in the pack!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: SOMETHING THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY
+
+_Mrs. Brown_ (_being helped out of a brook by the gallant Captain, who has
+also succeeded in catching her horse_). "Oh, Captain Robinson! thank you
+_so_ much!"
+
+_Gallant, but somewhat flurried, Captain._ "Not at all--don't mention
+it." (_Wishing to add something excessively polite and appropriate._)
+"Only hope I may soon have another opportunity of doing the same again
+for you."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+REASSURING
+
+_Criticising friend_ (_to nervous man on new horse_). "Oh! now I recollect
+that mare. Smashem bought her of Crashem last season, and she broke a
+collar-bone for each of them."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "THE TIP OF THE MORNING TO YOU!"
+
+_First Whip thanks him, and hums to himself,_ "When other tips, and
+t'other parts, Then he remembers _me!_"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Giles_ (_indicating Sportsman on excitable horse, waiting
+his turn_). "Bless us all, Tumas, if that un beant a goin' to try it
+back'ards!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: WITH THE HARDUP HARRIERS
+
+_Dismounted Huntsman_ (_to his mount_). "Whoa, you old brute! To think I
+went and spared yer from the biler only last week! You hungrateful old
+'idebound 'umbug!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+'INTS ON 'UNTING, BY 'ARRY
+
+[Illustration: (1) ON CLOTHES.--"Why not employ local talent? Saves half
+the money, and no one can tell the difference."]
+
+[Illustration: (2) If the thong of your whip gets under your horse's
+tail, just try to pull it out!]
+
+[Illustration: (3) Don't buy a horse because he is described as being
+"Well known with the ---- Hounds." It might be true.]
+
+[Illustration: (4) If at a meet your horse should get a bit out of hand,
+just run him up against some one.]
+
+[Illustration: (5) If opening a gate for the huntsman, don't fall into
+the middle of the pack!]
+
+[Illustration: (6) Sit well back at your fences!]
+
+[Illustration: (7) Look before you leap.]
+
+[Illustration: (8) If you lose your horse, just tell the huntsman to
+catch it for you.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+EXCUSABLE
+
+_M.F.H._ (_justly irate, having himself come carefully round edge of
+seed-field_). "Blank it all, Rogerson, what's the good o' me trying to
+keep the field off seeds, and a fellow like you coming slap across 'em?"
+
+_Hard-Riding Farmer._ "It's all right. They're my own! Ar've just come
+ower my neighbour's wheat, and ar couldn't for vary sham(e) miss my own
+seeads!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+ANXIOUS TO SELL
+
+_Dealer_ (_to Hunting Man, whose mount has NOT answered expectations_).
+"How much do you want for that nag o' yours, sir?"
+
+_Hunting Man._ "Well, I'll take a hundred guineas."
+
+_Dealer._ "Make it _shillings_."
+
+_H. M._ (_delighted_). "He's yours!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: NOT A LADIES' DAY
+
+_Miss Scramble._ "Now, Charles, give me one more long hair-pin, and I
+shall do."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+CASUAL
+
+_Owner of let-out hunters_ (_to customer just returned from day's sport_).
+"Are you aware, sir, that ain't my 'orse?"
+
+_Sportsman._ "Not yours! Then, by Jove, I _did_ collar the wrong gee
+during that scrimmage at the brook!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+AT OUR OPENING MEET
+
+_Stranger from over the water._ "I guess you've a mighty smart bunch of
+dogs there, m'lord!"
+
+_Noble but crusty M.F.H._ "Then you guess wrong, sir. _This is a pack of
+hounds!_"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MUST BE HUNGRY
+
+"Wish you'd feed your horse before he comes out."
+
+"Eh--why--hang it!--what do you mean?"
+
+"He's always trying to eat my boots. He evidently thinks there's some
+chance of getting at a little corn!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE RETORT COURTEOUS
+
+(_A Reminiscence of the past Harrier Season_)
+
+_Major Topknot, M.H._ (_to butcher's boy_). "Hi! Hulloah! Have you seen my
+hare?"
+
+_Butcher's Boy._ "Ga-a-rn! 'Ave you seen my whiskers?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+DISINTERESTED KINDNESS
+
+_Sportsman_ (_just come to grief, to Kindhearted Stranger who has captured
+horse_). "I say, I'm awfully obliged to you! I can get on all right, so
+please don't wait!"
+
+_Kindhearted Stranger._ "Oh, I'd rather, thanks! I want you to flatten
+the next fence for me!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+ENCOURAGING
+
+_Nervous Man_ (_who hires his hunters_). "Know anything about this mare?
+Ringbone tells me she's as clever as a man!"
+
+_Friend._ "Clever as a man? Clever as a woman more like it! Seen her
+play some fine old games with two or three fellows, I can tell you!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: NUNC AUT NUNQUAM
+
+_Voice from bottom of ditch._ "Hold hard a minute! My money has slipped
+out of my pockets, and it's all down here somewhere!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A REFORMED CHARACTER
+
+_John._ "Goin' to give up 'untin'! Deary! deary! An' 'ow's that,
+missie?"
+
+_Little Miss Di._ "Well, you see, John, I find my cousin Charlie, who is
+going to be a curate, does not approve of hunting women, so I intend to
+be a district visitor instead!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: MOTTOES; OR, "WHO'S WHO?"
+
+Mrs. Prettyphat. Family Motto--"_Medici jussu_."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+SOMETHING LIKE A CHARACTER
+
+_Huntsman_ (_on being introduced to future wife of M.F.H._). "Proud to
+make your acquaintance, miss! Known the Capting, miss, for nigh on ten
+seasons, and never saw 'im turn 'is 'ead from hanything as was jumpable!
+Knows a 'oss and knows a 'ound! Can ride one and 'unt t'other; and if
+that ain't as much as can be looked for in a 'usband, miss, why, I'll be
+jiggered!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A LIBERAL ALLOWANCE
+
+_Huntsman_ (_who has just drawn Mr. Van Wyck's coverts blank_). "Rather
+short of cubs, I'm afraid, sir!"
+
+_Mr. Van Wyck_ (_who has very recently acquired his country seat_). "Most
+extraordinary! Can't understand it at all! Why, I told my keeper to
+order a dozen only last week!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: STORIES WITHOUT WORDS
+
+How "the second horseman" went home.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: Scene--_As above._ Time--_Mid-day._ Sport--_None up to
+now._
+
+_Stout Party_ (_about to leave_). "Most extr'ordinary thing. Whenever I go
+home, they always have a rattling good run."
+
+_Candid Friend._ "Then, for goodness' sake, _go home at once!_"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: MOST EXTRAORDINARY
+
+_Dismounted Sportsman._ "Now, how the deuce did my hat manage to get up
+there?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+STRAIGHT
+
+_Huntsman_ (_to Boy, who is riding his second horse_). "Hi, there! What
+the doose are yer doin' of with that second 'oss?"
+
+_Boy_ (_Irish, and only just come to the Hunt stables from a Racing
+Establishment_). "Arrah thin, if oi roides oi roides to win! and divil a
+second is he goin' to be at all, at all!!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+FORBEARANCE
+
+_Member of Hunt_ (_to Farmer_). "I wouldn't ride over those seeds if I
+were you. They belong to a disagreeable sort of fellow, who might make a
+fuss about it."
+
+_Farmer._ "Well, sir, as him's me, he won't say nothing about it
+to-day."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: (_Extract from a letter received by Mr. Shootall on the
+morning when hounds were expected to draw his covers_)
+
+_Leadenhall Market, Thursday._
+
+Sir,--Your esteemed order to hand. We regret that we are quite out of
+foxes at present; but, as you mentioned they were for children's pets,
+we thought guinea pigs might do instead, so are sending half a dozen
+to-day. Hoping, &c., &c.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+TOO MUCH
+
+(_Pity the Sorrows of a poor Hunting Man!_)
+
+_Sportsman_ (_suffering from intense aberration of mind in consequence of
+the weather, in reply to wife of his bosom_). "Put out? Why, o' course
+I'm put out. Been just through the village, and hang me if at least half
+a dozen fools haven't told me that it's nice seasonable weather!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+AT THE HUNT BALL
+
+_Mr. Hardhit._ "Don't you think, Miss Highflier, that men look much
+better in pink--less like waiters?"
+
+_Miss Highflier._ "Yes, but more like ringmasters--eh?"
+
+    [_Hardhit isn't a bit offended, but seizes the opportunity._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HINTS TO BEGINNERS
+
+In mounting your horse, always stand facing his tail.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: The patent pneumatic tennis-ball hunting costume. Falling
+a pleasure.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Second Whip._ "G-aw-ne away!"
+
+_Middle-aged Diana._ "Go on away, indeed! Impertinence! I'll go just
+when I'm ready!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A CASE OF REAL DISTRESS
+
+_Fox-hunter._ "Here's a bore, Jack! The ground is half a foot thick with
+snow, and it's freezing like mad!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE HUNTSMAN'S POINT OF VIEW.
+
+One of the best runs of the season.
+
+Good scent all the way.
+
+Sir Heavistone Stogdon unfortunately fell at a stiff bank and broke his
+collar-bone.
+
+At the last moment, I regret to say, the fox got away.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A FOX HUNT
+
+(_After a tapestry_)
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: BUGGLES WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET
+
+He encounters a "coomb," and wonders if it is soft at the bottom.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET
+
+_Sportsman_ (_from the bog_). "Confound you, didn't you say there was a
+sound bottom here?"
+
+_Shepherd._ "Zo there be, maister; but thou 'aven't got down to un
+yet!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: BUGGLES WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET
+
+How he found a "Warrantable Deer."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: BUGGLES WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET
+
+_In_ Devonshire.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+FOOLS AND THEIR MONEY--
+
+_Jones_ (_who has been having a fair bucketing for the last half-hour, as
+he passes friend, in his mad career_). "I'd give a fiver to get off this
+brute!"
+
+_Friend_ (_brutal_). "Don't chuck your money away, old chap! You'll be
+off for less than that!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+WITH THE QUEEN'S
+
+_Leading Sportsman._ "Hold ha--rd! Here's some more of that confounded
+barbed wire! Dashed if I don't think this country is mainly inhabited by
+retired fishing-tackle makers!"
+
+     [_Makes for nearest gate, followed by sympathetic field._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+HIS OPINION
+
+_Jenkinson_ (_to M.F.H., who dislikes being bothered_). "What do you think
+of this horse?" (_No answer._) "Bred him myself, you know!"
+
+_M.F.H._ (_looking at horse out of corner of his eye_). "Umph! I thought
+you couldn't have been such a silly idiot as to have _bought_ him!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE VOICE OF SPRING
+
+_Bibulous Binks._ "Gad, it's freezing again!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A BLANK--BLANK--DAY]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: WHOSE FAULT?
+
+"He _can_ jump, but he _won't!_"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A VIEW HALLOO
+
+(_Hounds at fault_)
+
+_Whip_ (_bustling up to young Hodge, who has just begun to wave his cap
+and sing out lustily_). "Now then, where is he?"
+
+_Young H._ "Yonder, sir! Acomin' across yonder!"
+
+_Whip._ "Get out, why there ain't no fox there stoopid!"
+
+_Young H._ "No, sir; but there be our Billy on his jackass!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Miss Nelly_ (_to her Slave, in the middle of the best
+thing of the Season_). "Oh, Mr. Rowel, do you mind going back? I dropped
+my whip at the last fence!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+SEVERE
+
+_M.F.H._ (_to Youth from neighbouring Hunt, who has been making himself
+very objectionable_). "Now, look here, young man. I go cub-hunting for
+the purpose of educating _my own_ puppies. As you belong to another
+pack, I'll thank you to take yourself home!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HUNTING MEMORANDUM
+
+Appearance of things in general to a gentleman who has just turned a
+complete somersault!
+
+_* &c., &c., represent sparks of divers beautiful colours._]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "LE SPORTMAN"
+
+"Hi!! Hi!! Stop ze chasse! I tomble--I faloff! _Stop ze fox!_"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "CUBBING EVENTS CAST THEIR SHADOWS"
+
+_Half-awakened un-enthusiastic Sportsman_ (_who wished to go out
+cub-hunting, but has entirely changed his mind, drowsily addressing
+rather astonished burglar_). "Awright, old boy. Can't come with you this
+morning. Too sleepy."
+
+    [_Turns round and resumes deep sleep where he left off._
+
+]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A BROKEN PLEDGE
+
+_Sportsman on bank_ (_to Friend in brook_). "Hallo, Thompson, is that you?
+Why, I thought you had joined the 'No Drinks in between Meals' Party!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"IN THE DIM AND DISTANT FUTURE"
+
+_First Sportsman_ (_cantering along easily_). "I say, we shall see you at
+dinner on the nineteenth, shan't we?"
+
+_Second Ditto_ (_whose horse is very fresh, and bolting with him_). "If
+the beast goes on like this--hanged if you'll ever see me again."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THERE'S LIFE IN THE OLD DOG YET
+
+_Ex-M.F.H._ (_eighty-nine and paralytic_). "Fora-a-d! Fora-a-d!
+Fora-a-a-d!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Huntsman_ (_making a cast for the line of the fox, near a
+railway_). "Hold hard, please! Don't ride over the line!"
+
+_Would-be Thrusters._ "Oh, no, we won't. There's a bridge farther on!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "RANK BLASPHEMY"
+
+_Squire Oldboy, M.H._ (_enjoying a long and very slow hunt_). "There she
+goes! Afraid it's a new hare though."
+
+_Bored Sportsman._ "How lucky! The other must be getting doosid old."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A CHECK
+
+_Huntsman._ "Seen the fox, my boy?"
+
+_Boy._ "No, I ain't!"
+
+_Huntsman._ "Then, what are you hollarin' for?"
+
+_Boy_ (_who has been scaring rooks_). "'Cos I'm paid for it!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: EASIER SAID THAN DONE
+
+_Sixteen-stone Sportsman (who has been nearly put down from a "rotten"
+landing, to little Bricks, 9st. 2lb.)_: "Do you mind putting me back in
+the saddle, sir?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE TROUBLES OF AN M.F.H.
+
+_M.F.H._ (_to stranger, who is violently gesticulating to hounds_). "When
+you have done _feeding your chickens_, sir, perhaps you will allow me to
+hunt my hounds!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: Nobody was near hounds in the big wood when they pulled
+down the cub except Mr. Tinkler and his inamorata. He rashly volunteers
+to secure the brush for her!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "Morning, Tom. What a beastly day!"
+
+"It ain't a day, sir. I call it an interval between two bloomin'
+nights!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A BAD LOOK-OUT
+
+_Sportsman_ (_to Friend whom he has mounted_). "For goodness' sake, old
+chap, don't let her put you down! She's certain to savage you!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: ECHOES OF THE CHASE
+
+_Huntsman_ (_who has been having a very bad ride_). "Either master wants
+some new 'orses or a new 'untsman!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HINTS ON HUNTING
+
+Always see that your bridle reins are sound. There are times when they
+have a considerable strain on 'em!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: SO FAR, NO FARTHER
+
+Extraordinary position assumed by Mr. Snoodle on the sudden and
+unexpected refusal of his horse.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HARD LUCK
+
+_Small Child_ (_to Mr. Sparkin, who had come out at an unusually early
+hour in order to meet his inamorata at the guide-post, and pilot her out
+cub-hunting_). "I was to tell you she has such a bad cold she couldn't
+come. But I'm going with you instead, if you promise to take care of me.
+I'm her cousin, you know!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A PSEUDO-THRUSTER
+
+_Farmer_ (_to Sportsman, returning from the chase_). "Beg pardon, sir, but
+ain't you the gent that broke down that there gate of mine this
+morning?"
+
+_Mr. Noodel_ (_who never by any chance jumps anything--frightfully
+pleased_). "Er--did I? Well, how much is the damage?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE WATER TEST
+
+_Whip_ (_bringing on tail hounds, in the rear of the field_). "Hulloah!
+Who've you got there?"
+
+_Runner_ (_who has just assisted sportsman out of a muddy ditch_). "Dunno.
+Can't tell till we've washed 'im down a bit!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: MOST UNFORTUNATE
+
+Horrible catastrophe which happened to Captain Fussey (our ladies' man)
+on his arrival at the opening meet. New coat, new boots, new horse, new
+everything! Hard luck!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A SEVERE TEST
+
+_Miss Sally_ (_who has just taken off her mackintosh--to ardent admirer_).
+"Look! they're away! Do just stuff this thing into your pocket. I'm sure
+I shan't want it again!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A STUDY IN EXPRESSION
+
+_Irate M.F.H._ (_who has had half an hour in the big gorse trying to get a
+faint-hearted fox away, galloping to "holloa" on the far side of
+covert_). _"Confound you and your pony, sir! Get out of my way!"_
+
+     [_Binks, who has been trying to keep out of people's way all day,
+     thinks he can quite understand the feelings of the hunted fox._
+
+     ]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+OUR HUNT "POINT TO POINT"
+
+Last week our Point to Point steeplechase came off. So did several of
+the riders: this merely _par parenthèse_. I offered to mark out the
+course, and, as I intended to escape the dread ordeal of riding by
+scratching my horse at the last moment, I thought it would be great fun
+to choose a very stiff, not to say bloodthirsty, line. Awful grumbling
+on the part of those unhappy ones who were to ride. Just as the bell
+rang for saddling, Captain Sproozer, ready dressed for the fray, came up
+to me with very long face, and said, "Beastly line this, you know,
+Phunker. I call it much too stiff."
+
+I smiled in pitying and superior manner. "Think so, my dear Sproozer? My
+horse can't run, worse luck, but I only wish _I_ were going to have the
+gallop over it."
+
+"So you shall, then!" cried a rasping voice, suddenly, from behind me.
+Sir Hercules Blizzard was the speaker, an awful man with an awful
+temper. "So you shall. My idiot of a jockey broke his collar-bone trying
+to jump one of the fences on this confounded course of yours to-day, so,
+as I am without a rider, you shall ride my mare Dinah."
+
+Swallowed lump in my throat as I thanked him for his offer, but thought
+I had better decline, as I didn't know the mare, and besides that, I----
+
+"Oh! all right, I know what you are going to say: that you're not much
+good on a horse"--(nothing of the sort! I was not going to say any such
+thing, confound the man!) "Of course, I know all that, and that you're
+not much of a rider; but I can't help myself now. It's too late to get a
+decent horseman, so I shall have to make shift with you."
+
+Deuced condescending of him. I made a feeble effort to escape, and would
+cheerfully have paid a hundred pounds for the chance of doing so. Phil
+Poundaway, great friend of mine, came up and said (sympathetically, as I
+thought at first), "I should think you'd prefer to get off it, wouldn't
+you, Phunker?"
+
+Thought he would volunteer in my place, so was perfectly frank with him.
+"My dear Phil, I'd give a hundred to get off----"
+
+"Ah! you will, I expect, at the first fence, without paying the money!"
+he grinned, as he turned away.
+
+Murder was in my heart at that moment. I got on Dinah, and, feeling like
+death, rode down to the starting-post. Thoughts of a misspent youth, of
+home and friends and things, came o'er me. I seemed once more to see the
+little rose-covered porch, the----
+
+"What on earth are you mooning about?" thundered the Blizzardian voice
+in my ear. "Take hold of her head tighter than that, or you'll be off!"
+
+The next moment the starter yelled "Go!" and away, like a whirlwind, we
+sped across the first field, towards a huge, thick blackthorn fence, the
+one I had thought to see such fun with. Fun! I never felt less funny in
+my life, as we approached it at the rate of two thousand miles an hour!
+The mare jumped high, but I jumped much higher, and seemed for a brief
+moment to be soaring through the blue empyrean. Somehow, the mare
+managed to evade me on the return journey earthwards, and, instead of
+alighting on the saddle, I found myself "sitting on the floor." A
+howl--it might have been of sympathy, but it didn't sound quite like
+that--arose from the crowd, and then I thought that I would go home on
+foot, instead of returning to explain matters to Sir Hercules. As a
+matter of fact, I don't much care for associating with old Blizzard, at
+all events, not just now.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: AMENITIES OF SPORT
+
+_Huntsman_ (_to Whip, sent forward for a view_). "Haven't ye seen him,
+Tom?"
+
+_Whip._ "No, sir."
+
+_Huntsman._ "If he'd been in a pint pot, ye jolly soon would!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HIS LITTLE DODGE
+
+_First Hunting Man_ (_having observed the ticket with "K" on it in his
+friend's hat_). "I didn't know that old gee of yours was a kicker. He
+looks quiet enough."
+
+_Second Hunting Man._ "Well, he isn't really. I only wear the "K" to
+make people give me more room!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: TRUE COURAGE
+
+_Whip._ "Hi, sir! Keep back! The fox may break covert there!"
+
+_Foreigner._ "Bah! I fear him not--your fox."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE FORCE OF HABIT
+
+_Spanner_ (_a great cyclist, whose horse has been startled by man on
+covert hack_). "Hi! confound you! Why the deuce don't you sound your
+bell!!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "THE CART WITHOUT THE HORSE"
+
+Scene--_Cub-hunting._ Time--_About one o'clock._
+
+_Lady._ "Well, Count, what have you lost? Your lunch?"
+
+_The Count_ (_who breakfasted some time before six o'clock, a.m._). "No,
+no! Donner und wetter! I have him, but I have lost my teeth!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HORRIBLE PREDICAMENT
+
+_Gent_ (_on mettlesome hireling_). "'Elp! 'Elp! Somebody stop 'im! 'E's
+going to jump, and I can't!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: MOST EMBARRASSING
+
+_Lady (hiding behind bush, to Mr. Spoodle, who has captured her horse)_.
+"Oh, thank you so much! But I hope to goodness you have found my skirt
+as well!"
+
+    [_Nice position for Mr. Spoodle, who is very bashful, and has seen
+    nothing of the garment_.
+
+]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "DO NOT SPEAK TO THE MAN AT THE WHEEL"
+
+_'Arry_ (_puffing a "twopenny smoke," to huntsman, making unsuccessful
+cast_). "Very bad scent."
+
+_Huntsman._ "Shockin'! Smells like burnin' seaweed!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: OBEYING ORDERS
+
+"It's all very well for master to say 'Keep close to Miss Vera,
+Miles'--but I want to know 'oo's going to take Miles to the
+'orsepital?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: GALLANTRY REWARDED
+
+_Lady_ (_having had a fall at a brook, and come out the wrong side,--to
+stranger who has caught her horse_). "Oh, I'm _so_ much obliged to you!
+Now, do you mind just bringing him over?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: JUST OFF
+
+"Ride her on the snaffle, Tom! Don't ride her on the curb!"
+
+"Hang your curb and snaffle! I've enough to do to _ride her on the
+saddle!_"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A Suggestion: No more trouble from wire, damage to
+fences, etc.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE TRIALS OF AN M.F.H.
+
+_M.F.H._ (_to misguided enthusiast who has been cheering hounds on a bad
+scent_). "Now then! Am I going to hunt the hounds or are you?"
+
+_Enthusiast_ (_sweetly_). "Just as you please, m'lord, just as you
+please."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: OFF HIS GUARD
+
+_Farmer_ (_just coming up_). "Young gentleman riding your brown horse, my
+lord, had nasty accident a field or two back. Barbed wire--very ugly
+cuts!"
+
+_My Lord._ "Tut--tut--tut! Dear--dear--dear! Not the horse, I hope?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "BON VOYAGE!"
+
+_Mossu (shot into a nice soft loam), exultingly._ "A--ha--a! I am safe
+o-vère! Now it is your turn, Meester Timbre Jompre! Come on, sare!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: ON THE WAY HOME FROM THE EXMOOR HUNT--NO KILL
+
+THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BRIDGE
+
+_Fair Huntress._ "What a pity the hounds let that splendid stag get
+away, Colonel, wasn't it?"
+
+_Colonel._ "Pity! Ha, if they'd only taken my advice we should have been
+up with him now, instead of being miles away on the wrong track!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Distinguished Foreigner_ (_to good Samaritan who has
+caught his horse_). "Merci bien, monsieur! You save me much trouble.
+Before, I lose my horse--I lose him altogether, and I must put him in
+the newspaper!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: VIVE LA CHASSE!
+
+_Foreign Visitor_ (_an enthusiastic "sportsman," viewing fox attempting to
+break_). "A-h-h-h! Halte-la! Halte! _You shall not escape!_"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: RATHER TOO MUCH
+
+_Lady_ (_having just cannoned Stranger into brook_). "Oh, I'm _so_ sorry I
+bumped you! Would you mind going in again for my hat?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE END OF THE HUNTING SEASON
+
+(_By Our Own Novice_)
+
+    Good-bye to the season! E'en gluttons
+      Have had quite enough of the game,
+    And if we returned to our muttons,
+      Our horses are laid up and lame.
+    We hunted straight on through the winter,
+      And never were stopped by the frost,
+    As I know right well from each splinter
+      Of bone that my poor limbs have lost.
+
+    Good-bye to the season! The "croppers"
+      I got where the fences were tall,
+    And Oh the immaculate "toppers"
+      That always were crushed by my fall.
+    Don't think though that I'm so stout-hearted
+      As e'er to jump hedges or dikes,
+    It's simply that after we've started,
+      My "gee" gallivants as it likes.
+
+    In vain I put on natty breeches,
+      And tops like Meltonian swell,
+    It ends in the blessed old ditches,
+      I know like the Clubs in Pall Mall.
+
+    And when from a "gee" that's unruly
+      I fall with a terrible jar,
+    I know that old _Jorrocks_ spoke truly,
+      And hunting's "the image of war."
+
+    And never for me "_Fair Diana_"
+      Shall smile as we know that she can,
+    With looks that are sweeter than manna,
+      On many a fortunate man.
+    It adds to the pangs that I suffer,
+      When thrown at a fence in her track,
+    To hear her "Ridiculous duffer!"
+      When jumping slap over my back.
+
+    I've fractured my ulnar, I'm aching
+      Where over my ribs my horse rolled;
+    Egad! the "Old Berkeley" is making
+      One man feel uncommonly old.
+    Good-bye to the season! I'm shattered
+      And damaged in figure and face;
+    But thankful to find I'm not scattered
+      In pieces all over the place!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HINTS TO BEGINNERS
+
+Good hands will often make the most confirmed refuser jump.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: TRULY DELIGHTFUL!
+
+Galloping down the side of a field covered with mole-hills, on a
+weak-necked horse, with a snaffle bridle, one foot out of your stirrup,
+and a bit of mud in your eye!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: SELF-PRESERVATION
+
+_Tomlin_ (_who has been mounted by friend_). "It's all very well to shout
+'Loose your reins,' but what the deuce _am_ I to hang on to?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+SEASONABLE DISH FOR A SPORTSMAN.--A plate o' _f_ox-tail soup.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE RULE OF THE HUNTING-FIELD.--Lex Tally-ho-nis.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+FASHIONABLE FOOD FOR HORSES.--Hay _à la_ mowed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: QUOTATIONS GONE WRONG
+
+                            "Life has passed
+    With me but roughly since I heard thee last."
+                                       _Cowper._
+
+]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: ALL HER PLAY
+
+_Country Gentleman_ (_to nervous man, whom he has mounted_). "By Jove,
+old chap, never saw the mare so fresh! Take care you ain't off!"
+
+_Nervous Man_ (_heartily_). "W--w--wish to goodness I were!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HINTS TO BEGINNERS
+
+Always let your horse see that you are his master.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE END
+
+BRADBURY, AGNEW, & CO. LD., PRINTERS, LONDON AND TONBRIDGE.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field, by Various
+
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+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field, by Various
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field
+
+Author: Various
+
+Editor: J. A. Hammerton
+
+Illustrator: John Leech and others
+
+Release Date: March 15, 2012 [EBook #39160]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MR. PUNCH IN THE HUNTING FIELD ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Neville Allen, Chris Curnow and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<h1>MR. PUNCH IN THE HUNTING FIELD.</h1>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_cover" id="Page_cover">[Cover]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 30%">
+<a href="images/i_cover.png">
+<img src="images/i_cover.png" width="100%" alt="Cover" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<h3>TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE.</h3>
+
+<p>Some pages of this work have been moved from the original sequence to enable
+the contents to continue without interruption. The page numbering remains unaltered.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3>PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR</h3>
+
+<h4>Edited by <span class="smcap">J. A. Hammerton</span></h4>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 12%">
+<a href="images/i_002b.png">
+<img src="images/i_002b.png" width="100%"  alt="Cartoon" /></a>
+</div>
+<br /><br />
+<p>Designed to provide in a series of volumes, each<br /> complete in itself,
+the cream of our national humour,<br /> contributed by the masters of comic
+draughtsmanship<br /> and the leading wits of the age to "Punch",<br /> from its
+beginning in 1841 to the present day.</p>
+<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_003.png">
+<img src="images/i_003.png" width="100%" alt="DISILLUSIONED"/></a>
+<h3>DISILLUSIONED</h3>
+<p>Awful predicament of young Fitz-Brown, who, having undertaken to see a
+young lady safely home after a day with the Seaborough Harriers, has
+lost his way, and has climbed up what he takes to be a sign-post.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3>MR. PUNCH IN THE HUNTING FIELD</h3>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 20%">
+<a href="images/i_004a.png">
+<img src="images/i_004a.png" width="100%" alt="cartoon hare" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<br /><br />
+AS PICTURED BY JOHN LEECH, CHARLES KEENE, PHIL MAY,<br />
+RANDOLPH CALDECOTT, L. RAVEN-HILL, G. D. ARMOUR,<br />
+G. H. JALLAND, ARTHUR HOPKINS, REGINALD CLEAVER,<br />
+CECIL ALDIN, TOM BROWNE, W. L. HODGSON AND OTHERS<br />
+<br /><br />
+<center><i>WITH 173 ILLUSTRATIONS</i>
+<br /><br />
+PUBLISHED BY ARRANGEMENT WITH THE PROPRIETORS OF "PUNCH"<br />
+<br />
+THE EDUCATIONAL BOOK CO. LTD.</center>
+<br /><br />
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3>THE PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR</h3>
+
+<center>
+<i>Twenty-five volumes, crown 8vo. 192 pages<br />
+fully illustrated</i><br />
+<br />
+LIFE IN LONDON<br />
+<br />
+COUNTRY LIFE<br />
+<br />
+IN THE HIGHLANDS<br />
+<br />
+SCOTTISH HUMOUR<br />
+<br />
+IRISH HUMOUR<br />
+<br />
+COCKNEY HUMOUR<br />
+<br />
+IN SOCIETY<br />
+<br />
+AFTER DINNER STORIES<br />
+<br />
+IN BOHEMIA<br />
+<br />
+AT THE PLAY<br />
+<br />
+MR. PUNCH AT HOME<br />
+<br />
+ON THE CONTINONG<br />
+<br />
+RAILWAY BOOK<br />
+<br />
+AT THE SEASIDE<br />
+<br />
+MR. PUNCH AFLOAT<br />
+<br />
+IN THE HUNTING FIELD<br />
+<br />
+MR. PUNCH ON TOUR<br />
+<br />
+WITH ROD AND GUN<br />
+<br />
+MR. PUNCH AWHEEL<br />
+<br />
+BOOK OF SPORTS<br />
+<br />
+GOLF STORIES<br />
+<br />
+IN WIG AND GOWN<br />
+<br />
+ON THE WARPATH<br />
+<br />
+BOOK OF LOVE<br />
+<br />
+WITH THE CHILDREN<br />
+</center>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>EDITOR'S NOTE</h2>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 20%">
+<a href="images/i_006.png">
+<img src="images/i_006.png" width="100%" alt="horseman"/></a>
+</div>
+
+<p>From his earliest days <span class="smcap">Mr. Punch</span> has been an enthusiast for the Hunting
+Field. But in this he has only been the faithful recorder of the manners
+of his countrymen, as there is no sport more redolent of "Merrie
+England" than that of the Horse and Hound. At no time in <span class="smcap">Mr. Punch's</span>
+history has he been without an artist who has specialised in the humours
+of the hunt. First it was the inimitable Leech, some of whose drawings
+find a place in the present collection, and then the mantle of the
+sporting artist would seem to have descended to feminine shoulders, as
+Miss Bowers (Mrs. Bowers-Edwards) wore it for some ten years after 1866.
+That lady is also represented in the present work, at pages 49 and 111.
+Later came Mr. G. H. Jalland, many of whose drawings we have chosen for
+inclusion here. Perhaps the most popular of his hunting jokes was that
+of the Frenchman exclaiming, "Stop ze chasse! I tomble, I faloff! <i>Stop
+ze fox!!!</i>" (see page 141). To-day, of course, it is Mr. G. D. Armour
+whose pencil is devoted chiefly to illustrating the humorous side of
+hunting; but now, as formerly, most of the eminent artists whose work
+lies usually in other fields, delight at times to find a subject
+associated with the hunt. Thus we are able to present examples of Mr.
+Cecil Aldin and Mr. Raven-Hill in sportive mood, while such celebrities
+of the past as Randolph Caldecott and Phil May are here drawn upon for
+the enriching of this, the first book of hunting humour compiled from
+the abundant chronicles of <span class="smcap">Mr. Punch</span>.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_007.png">
+<img src="images/i_007.png" width="100%" alt="'ARRY OUT WITH THE 'OUNDS"/></a>
+<h3>'ARRY OUT WITH THE 'OUNDS</h3>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>MR. PUNCH IN THE HUNTING FIELD</h2>
+
+<h3>THE HUNTING SEASON</h3>
+
+<center>(<i>By Jorrocks Junior</i>)</center>
+
+<div class="poem w36"><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">The season for hunting I see has begun,</p>
+<p class="i0">So adieu for a time to my rod and my gun;</p>
+<p class="i0">And ho! for the fox, be he wild or in bag,</p>
+<p class="i0">As I follow the chase on my high-mettled nag.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">I call him high-mettled, but still I must state,</p>
+<p class="i0">He hasn't a habit I always did hate,</p>
+<p class="i0">He doesn't walk sideways, like some "gees" you meet,</p>
+<p class="i0">Who go slantindicularly down the street.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">He's steady and well broken in, for, of course,</p>
+<p class="i0">I can't risk my life on an unbroken horse;</p>
+<p class="i0">You might tie a torpedo or two on behind,</p>
+<p class="i0">And though they exploded that horse wouldn't mind</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">My strong point is costume, and oft I confess</p>
+<p class="i0">I've admired my get-up in a sportsmanlike dress;</p>
+<p class="i0">Though, but for the finish their lustre confers,</p>
+<p class="i0">I would much rather be, I declare, without spurs.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">They look very well as to cover you ride,</p>
+<p class="i0">But I can't keep the things from the animal's side;</p>
+<p class="i0">And the mildest of "gees," I am telling no fibs,</p>
+<p class="i0">Will resent having liberties ta'en with his ribs.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">Then hie to the cover, the dogs are all there,</p>
+<p class="i0">And the horn of the hunter is heard on the air;</p>
+<p class="i0">I've a horn of my own, which in secret I stow,</p>
+<p class="i0">For, oddly enough, they don't like me to blow.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">We'll go round by that gate, my good sir, if you please,</p>
+<p class="i0">I'm one of your sportsmen who rides at his ease;</p>
+<p class="i0">And I don't care to trouble my courser to jump,</p>
+<p class="i0">For whenever he does I fall off in a lump.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">Then haste to the meet! The Old Berkeley shall find,</p>
+<p class="i0">If I don't go precisely as fast as the wind,</p>
+<p class="i0">If they'll give my Bucephalus time to take breath,</p>
+<p class="i0">We shall both of us, sometimes, be in at the death!</p>
+</div></div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_008.png">
+<img src="images/i_008.png" width="100%" alt="MR. PUNCH DRIVES TO THE FIRST MEET"/></a>
+<h3>"WEATHER PERMITTING,"&mdash;MR. PUNCH DRIVES TO THE FIRST
+MEET.</h3>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_010.png">
+<img src="images/i_010.png" width="100%" alt="A LION IN THE PATH"/></a>
+<h3>A LION IN THE PATH?</h3>
+<p>Oh dear no! Merely the "<i>first open day</i>" after a long frost, and a
+tom-tit has been inconsiderate enough to fly suddenly out of the fence
+on the way to covert!</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_011.png">
+<img src="images/i_011.png" width="100%" alt="TRIALS OF A NOVICE"/></a>
+<h3>TRIALS OF A NOVICE</h3>
+<p><i>Unsympathetic Bystander.</i> "Taking 'im back to 'is cab, guv'nor?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_012.png">
+<img src="images/i_012.png" width="100%" alt="THE LAST RUN"/></a>
+<h3>HOW THE LAST RUN OF THE WOPSHIRE HOUNDS WAS SPOILT.</h3>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>PROVERBS FOR THE TIMID HUNTSMAN</h2>
+
+<center><i>Dressing</i></center>
+
+<p>There's no toe without a corn.</p>
+
+<p>If the boot pinches&mdash;bear it.</p>
+
+<center><i>Breakfast</i></center>
+
+<p>A snack in time, saves nine.</p>
+
+<p>Faint hunger never conquered tough beef-steak.</p>
+
+<center><i>Mounting</i></center>
+
+<p>You can't make a hunter out of a hired hack.</p>
+
+<p>The nearer the ground the safer the seat.</p>
+
+<center><i>In the Field</i></center>
+
+<p>Take care of the hounds, but the fence may take care of itself.</p>
+
+<p>Too many brooks spoil the sport.</p>
+
+<p>One pair of spurs may bring a horse to the water, but twenty will not
+make him jump.</p>
+
+<p>It is the howl that shows the funk.</p>
+
+<p>Fools break rails for wise men to go over.</p>
+
+<p>Snobs and their saddles are soon parted.</p>
+
+<center><i>At Luncheon</i></center>
+
+<p>A flask in the hand is worth a cask in the vault.</p>
+
+<p>Cut your sandwiches according to your stomach.</p>
+
+<center><i>Coming Home</i></center>
+
+<p>The nearer the home, the harder the seat.</p>
+
+<center><i>Bed-time</i></center>
+
+<p>It's a heavy sleep that has no turning.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_014.png">
+<img src="images/i_014.png" width="100%" alt="REALLY PLEASANT"/></a>
+<h3>REALLY PLEASANT!</h3>
+<p>Six miles from home, horse dead lame, awfully tender feet, and horribly
+tight boots.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_015.png">
+<img src="images/i_015.png" width="100%" alt="I shall never get on again"/></a>
+<p>"Now, if I jump it, I shall certainly fall off; and if I
+dismount to open it, I shall never get on again."</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_016.png">
+<img src="images/i_016.png" width="100%" alt="This is Jones"/></a>
+<p>This is Jones, who thought to slip down by the rail early
+in the morning, and have a gallop with the fox hounds. On looking out of
+window, he finds it is a clear frosty morning. He sees a small boy
+sliding&mdash;actually sliding on the pavement opposite!! and&mdash;doesn't he
+hate that boy&mdash;and doesn't he say it is a beastly climate!!</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>NEW SPORTING DICTIONARY OF FAMILIAR LATIN PHRASES.</h2>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_017a.png">
+<img src="images/i_017a.png" width="100%" alt="Labour overcomes everything"/></a>
+<p>(1) Labour omnia vincit. (Labour overcomes everything.)</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_017b.png">
+<img src="images/i_017b.png" width="100%" alt="After you."/></a>
+<p>(2) Ars est celare artem. "Apr&egrave;s vous, mademoiselle!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_018.png">
+<img src="images/i_018.png" width="100%" alt="They all go off"/></a>
+<p>(3) Exeunt Omnes. (They all go off.)]</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h4><span class="smcap">A Genuine Sportswoman</span></h4>
+
+<p><i>Mrs. Shodditon</i> (<i>to Captain Forrard, on a cub-hunting morning</i>.) "I do
+hope you'll have good sport, and find plenty of foxes."</p>
+
+<p><i>Captain Forrard.</i> "Hope so. By the way, how is that beautiful collie of
+yours that I admired so much?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Mrs. Shodditon.</i> "Oh! Fanny! poor dear! Our keeper shot it by mistake
+for a fox!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_019a.png">
+<img src="images/i_019a.png" width="100%" alt="after weary tramp"/></a>
+<p><i>Short-sighted Party</i> (<i>thrown earlier, after weary tramp,
+thinks he sees mount on ploughed upland, and approaches bush
+coaxingly</i>.) "Whoa, my beauty! Steady, my gal, steady then," &amp;c.</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_019b.png">
+<img src="images/i_019b.png" width="100%" alt="discovers error"/></a>
+<p><i>Same Short-sighted Party arrived at thornbush, discovers
+error, and reflects</i>&mdash;"Five miles from station, perhaps ten&mdash;fifty miles
+from town, missed express, missed dinner, lost mount, wet through,
+getting dusk, and, by the way, where am I?"</p>.
+<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[<i>Left reflecting</i>.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_020.png">
+<img src="images/i_020.png" width="100%" alt="Gorgeous Stranger"/></a>
+<p><i>Gorgeous Stranger.</i> "I say, Huntsman, would you mind
+blowing your horn two or three times? I want my fellow, who has my
+flask, to know where we are, don't you know!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>DIARY OF THE MODERN HUNT SECRETARY</h2>
+
+<blockquote><p>"Capping all non-subscribers is pretty generally resorted to, this
+season, not only in the shires, but also with provincial
+packs."&mdash;<i>Daily Press.</i>]</p></blockquote>
+
+<p><i>Monday.</i>&mdash;Splendid gallop after non-subscriber. Spotted the quarry on
+good-looking chestnut, whilst we were drawing big covert. Edged my horse
+over in his direction, but non-subscriber very wary&mdash;think he must have
+known my face as "collector of tolls." Retired again to far side of
+spinney and disguised myself in pair of false whiskers, which I always
+keep for these occasions. Craftily sidled up, and finally got within
+speaking distance, under cover of the whiskers, which effectually masked
+my battery. "Beg pardon, sir," I began, lifting my hat, "but I don't
+think I have the pleasure of knowing your name as a subscri&mdash;&mdash;" But he
+was off like a shot. Went away over a nice line of country, all grass,
+and a good sound take-off to most of the fences. Non-subscriber had got
+away with about a three lengths lead of me, and that interval was fairly
+maintained for the first mile and a half of the race. Then, felt most
+annoyed to see that my quarry somewhat gained on me as we left the
+pasture land and went across a holding piece of plough. Over a stiff
+post and rails, and on again, across some light fallow, towards a big
+dry ditch. The hunted one put his horse resolutely at it&mdash;must say he
+rode very straight, but what <i>won't</i> men do to avoid "parting?"&mdash;horse
+jumped short and disappeared from view together with his rider. Next
+moment I had also come a cropper at ditch, and rolled down on top of my
+prey. "Excuse me," I said, taking out my pocket-book and struggling to
+my knees in six inches of mud, "but when you rather abruptly started
+away from covertside, I was just about to remark that I did not think
+you were a subscriber, and that I should have much pleasure in taking
+the customary 'cap'&mdash;thank you." And he paid up quite meekly. We agreed,
+as we rode back together, in the direction in which we imagined hounds
+to be, that even if they had got away with a good fox, the field would
+not be likely to have had so smart a gallop as he and I had already
+enjoyed. Lost my day's hunting, of course.</p>
+
+<p><i>Thursday.</i>&mdash;Got away after another non-subscriber, led him over four
+fields, after which he ran me out of sight. Lost my day's hunting again,
+but was highly commended by M.F.H. for my zeal.</p>
+
+<p><i>Saturday.</i>&mdash;M.F.H. pointed out five non-subscribers, and I at once
+started off to "cap" them. Lost another day with hounds&mdash;shall send in
+my resignation.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_022.png">
+<img src="images/i_022.png" width="100%" alt="where has that horse gone"/></a>
+<p><i>Gent</i> (<i>who has just executed a double somersault and is
+somewhat dazed</i>.) "Now where the dickens has that horse gone to?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_023.png">
+<img src="images/i_023.png" width="100%" alt="don't let the dogs maul 'im"/></a>
+<h3>ON EXMOOR</h3>
+<p><i>Gent</i> (<i>very excited after his first gallop with staghounds</i>.) "Hi,
+mister, don't let the dogs maul 'im, and I'll take the 'aunch at a bob a
+pound!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_024.png">
+<img src="images/i_024.png" width="100%" alt="COOKED ACCOUNTS"/></a>
+<h3>COOKED ACCOUNTS</h3>
+<p><i>Extract from old Fitzbadly's letter to a friend, describing a run in
+the Midlands:</i>&mdash;"I was well forward at the brook, but lost my hat, and
+had to dismount."</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_025a.png">
+<img src="images/i_025a.png" width="100%" alt="Hup&mdash;yer beast"/></a>
+<h3>"Hup&mdash;yer beast!"</h3>
+</div>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_025b.png">
+<img src="images/i_025b.png" width="100%" alt="Hup!!&mdash;yer brute"/></a>
+<h3>"Hup!!&mdash;yer brute!"</h3>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_026a.png">
+<img src="images/i_026a.png" width="100%" alt="Hover"/></a>
+<h3>"Hup!!!&mdash;yer infernal, confounded &mdash;&mdash; Hover!!!"</h3>
+</div>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_026b.png">
+<img src="images/i_026b.png" width="100%" alt="And Hover it was"/></a>
+<h3>And "Hover" it was!</h3>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_027.png">
+<img src="images/i_027.png" width="100%" alt="SOMETHING LIKE A NOSE"/></a>
+<h3>SOMETHING LIKE A NOSE.</h3>
+<p><i>Whip</i> (<i>after galloping half a mile to a holloa</i>.) "Where did you see
+him?"</p>
+<p><i>Yokel.</i> "Can't zay as 'ow I 'zactly <i>zeed</i> 'un, but I think I <i>smelled</i>
+'un!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_028.png">
+<img src="images/i_028.png" width="100%" alt="Perkisites."/></a>
+<p><i>Second Horseman No. 1.</i> "Ulloah, Danny, what are you
+lookin' for?"</p>
+<p><i>Second Horseman No. 2.</i> "Perkisites. Guv'nor's just been over 'ere. 'E
+jumps so much 'igher than 'is 'orse, there's always some small change or
+summat to be picked up!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>THE NEW NIMROD</h2>
+
+<blockquote><p>[Mr. Pat O'Brien, M.P., was first in at the death on one occasion
+with the Meath Hounds on his bicycle, and was presented with the
+brush.]</p></blockquote>
+
+<center>Air&mdash;"<i>The Hunting Day</i>"</center>
+
+<div class="poem w32"><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i2">"What a fine hunting day"&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i2">'Tis an old-fashioned lay</p>
+<p class="i0">That I'll change to an up-to-date pome;</p>
+<p class="i2">Old stagers may swear</p>
+<p class="i2">That the pace isn't fair,</p>
+<p class="i0">But they're left far behind us at home!</p>
+<p class="i0">See cyclists and bikes on their way,</p>
+<p class="i0">And scorchers their prowess display;</p>
+<p class="i2">Let us join the glad throng</p>
+<p class="i2">That goes wheeling along,</p>
+<p class="i0">And we'll all go a-hunting to-day!</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i2">New Nimrods exclaim,</p>
+<p class="i2">"Timber-topping" is tame,</p>
+<p class="i0">And "bull-finches" simply child's play;</p>
+<p class="i2">And they don't care a jot</p>
+<p class="i2">For a gallop or trot,</p>
+<p class="i0">Though they <i>will</i> go a-hunting to-day.</p>
+<p class="i0">There's a fox made of clockwork, they say</p>
+<p class="i0">They'll wind him and get him away;</p>
+<p class="i2">He runs with a rush</p>
+<p class="i2">On rails with his brush,</p>
+<p class="i0">So we must go and chase him to-day.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i2">We've abolished the sounds</p>
+<p class="i2">Of the horn and the hounds&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i0">'Tis the bicycle squeaker that squeals</p>
+<p class="i2">And the pack has been stuffed,</p>
+<p class="i2">Or sent to old Cruft,</p>
+<p class="i0">Now the huntsmen have taken to wheels!</p>
+<p class="i0">Hairy country no more we essay,</p>
+<p class="i0">Five bars, too, no longer dismay,</p>
+<p class="i2">For we stick to the roads</p>
+<p class="i2">In the latest of modes,</p>
+<p class="i0">So we'll bike after Reynard to-day!</p>
+</div></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_030.png">
+<img src="images/i_030.png" width="100%" alt="LANGUAGE OF SPORT"/></a>
+<h3>THE LANGUAGE OF SPORT.</h3>
+<p>"Where the&mdash;&mdash;! What the&mdash;&mdash;!! Who the&mdash;&mdash;!!! Why the&mdash;&mdash;!!!!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_031.png">
+<img src="images/i_031.png" width="100%" alt="COMFORTING"/></a>
+<h3>COMFORTING, VERY!</h3>
+<p><i>Sportsman (who has mounted friend on bolting mare) shouts.</i> "You're all
+right, old chap! She's never been known to refuse water, and swims like
+a fish!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_032.png">
+<img src="images/i_032.png" width="100%" alt="laugh away"/></a>
+<p><i>Old Stubbles</i> (<i>having pounded the swells</i>.) "Aw&mdash;haw&mdash;&mdash;!
+laugh away, but who be the roight side o' the fence, masters?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>CUB HUNTING</h2>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_033a.png">
+<img src="images/i_033a.png" width="100%" alt="CUB HUNTING"/></a><br /><br />
+<p>1. "Ah, my boys," said Percy Johnson, "give me a good old hurry and
+scurry&mdash;Heigh O! gee whoa!&mdash;over the downs and through the brushwood
+after the cubs. So, early in the morning as you like. What can be more
+exhilarating?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_033b.png">
+<img src="images/i_033b.png" width="100%" alt="CUB HUNTING"/></a><br /><br />
+<p>2. So, in happy anticipation of the morrow's meet, he retired.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_034a.png">
+<img src="images/i_034a.png" width="100%" alt="CUB HUNTING"/></a><br /><br />
+<p>3. Later, at 4 a.m., the butler came to rouse him. "Sir!"
+A pause. "Sir, th' 'osses be very nigh ready!" Uncertain voice from
+within&mdash;"Eh? good-night! Remember to call me early in the morning!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_034b.png">
+<img src="images/i_034b.png" width="100%" alt="CUB HUNTING"/></a><br /><br />
+<p>4. Snoring resumed <i>in infinitum</i>. Still, Percy looked rather sheepish
+later on, when the others pretended they had missed him on the road, and
+inquired whether he had found the morning as exhilarating as he had
+expected.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>MY LITTLE BROWN MARE</h2>
+
+<center>(<i>A Song for the commencement of the Hunting Season</i>)</center>
+
+<div class="poem w36"><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">She's rather too lean but her head's a large size,</p>
+<p class="i0">And she hasn't the average number of eyes;</p>
+<p class="i0">Her hind legs are not what you'd call a good pair,</p>
+<p class="i0">And she's broken both knees, has my little brown mare.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">You can find some amusement in counting each rib,</p>
+<p class="i0">And she bites when she's hungry like mad at her crib;</p>
+<p class="i0">When viewed from behind she seems all on the square,</p>
+<p class="i0">She's quite a Freemason&mdash;my little brown mare.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">Her paces are rather too fast, I suppose,</p>
+<p class="i0">For she often comes down on her fine Roman nose,</p>
+<p class="i0">And the way she takes fences makes hunting men stare,</p>
+<p class="i0">For she backs through the gaps does my little brown mare.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">She has curbs on her hocks and no hair on her knees;</p>
+<p class="i0">She has splints and has spavins wherever you please?</p>
+<p class="i0">Her neck, like a vulture's, is horribly bare,</p>
+<p class="i0">But still she's a beauty, my little brown mare.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">She owns an aversion to windmills and ricks,</p>
+<p class="i0">When passing a waggon she lies down and kicks;</p>
+<p class="i0">And the clothes of her groom she'll persistently tear&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i0">But still she's no vice has my little brown mare.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">When turned down to grass she oft strays out of bounds;</p>
+<p class="i0">She always was famous for snapping at hounds;</p>
+<p class="i0">And even the baby has learnt to beware</p>
+<p class="i0">The too playful bite of my little brown mare.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">She prances like mad and she jumps like a flea,</p>
+<p class="i0">And her waltz to a brass band is something to see:</p>
+<p class="i0">No circus had ever a horse, I declare,</p>
+<p class="i0">That could go through the hoops like my little brown mare.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">I mount her but seldom&mdash;in fact, to be plain,</p>
+<p class="i0">Like the Frenchman, when hunting I "do not remain:"</p>
+<p class="i0">Since I've only one neck it would hardly be fair</p>
+<p class="i0">To risk it in riding my little brown mare!</p>
+</div></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_036.png">
+<img src="images/i_036.png" width="100%" alt="Just 'op across, would ye"/></a>
+<h3>TROUBLES OF A WOULD-BE SPORTSMAN</h3>
+<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>to W.B.S.</i>). "Just 'op across, would ye, sir, and turn
+those 'ounds to me, please."</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_037.png">
+<img src="images/i_037.png" width="100%" alt="You want to give me a fall"/></a>
+<h3>RESPICE FINEM</h3>
+<p><i>Excited Shepherd</i> (<i>to careful Sportsman, inspecting fence with slight
+drop</i>). "Come on, sir! All right! Anywhere 'ere!"</p>
+<p><i>Careful Sportsman.</i> "All very fine! You want to give me a fall, and get
+half-a-crown for catching my horse!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_038.png">
+<img src="images/i_038.png" width="100%" alt="WEEDS"/></a>
+<h3>"WEEDS"</h3>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_039.png">
+<img src="images/i_039.png" width="100%" alt="BEWARE WIRE"/></a>
+<h3>"'WARE WIRE!"</h3>
+<p>"Hallo, Jack! What's up?"</p>
+<p>"Don' know! I'm not!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h4><span class="smcap">Misplaced Energy</span></h4>
+
+<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>seeking a beaten fox</i>). "Now then, have you seen anything
+of him?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Cockney Sportsman</i> (<i>immensely pleased with himself</i>). "Well, rather!
+Why, I've just driven him into this drain for you!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_040.png">
+<img src="images/i_040.png" width="100%" alt="WHILE YOU WAIT"/></a>
+<h3>"WHILE YOU WAIT"</h3>
+<p>"Here, my good man, just pull those rails down. Be as quick as you can!"</p>
+<p>"Take 'em down, miss! It'll be a good four hours' job, for I've been all
+the mornin' a-puttin' of 'em up!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_041.png">
+<img src="images/i_041.png" width="100%" alt="ECHOES OF THE CHASE"/></a>
+<h3>ECHOES OF THE CHASE. BOXING DAY</h3>
+<p><i>Holiday Sportsman</i> (<i>to Whip, who has been hollering</i>). "Where's the
+fox?"</p>
+<p><i>Whip.</i> "Gone away, of course."</p>
+<p><i>H. S.</i> "Gone away! Wotcher makin' all that noise for, then? I thought
+you'd caught 'im!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_042.png">
+<img src="images/i_042.png" width="100%" alt="EASILY SATISFIED"/></a>
+<h3>EASILY SATISFIED</h3>
+<p><i>Gent</i> (<i>who all but dissolved partnership at the last fence</i>). "Thank
+goodness I've got hold of the reins again! If I could but get my foot
+into that confounded stirrup, I should be all right!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span></p>
+
+<h4>A Nice Prospect</h4>
+
+<p><i>Host</i> (<i>to Perks, an indifferent horseman, who has come down for the
+hunting</i>). "Now, look here, Perks, old chap, as you're a light weight,
+I'll get you to ride this young mare of mine. You see, I want to get her
+qualified for our Hunt Cup, and she's not up to my weight, or I'd ride
+her myself. Perhaps I'd better tell you she hasn't been ridden to hounds
+before, so she's sure to be a bit nervous at first; and mind you steady
+her at the jumps, as she's apt to rush them; and I wouldn't take her too
+near other people, as she has a nasty temper, and knows how to use her
+heels; and, whatever you do, don't let her get you down, or she'll tear
+you to pieces. The last man that rode her is in hospital now. But keep
+your eye on her, and remember what I've said, and you'll be all right!"</p>
+
+<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[<i>Consternation of Perks</i></p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h4><span class="smcap">'Arry on 'Orseback</span></h4>
+
+<div class="poem w32"><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">Our 'Arry goes 'unting and sings with a will,</p>
+<p class="i0">"The 'orn of the 'unter is 'eard on the 'ill:"</p>
+<p class="i0">And oft, when a saddle looks terribly bare,</p>
+<p class="i0">The 'eels of our 'Arry are seen in the air!</p>
+</div></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_044.png">
+<img src="images/i_044.png" width="100%" alt="W. STANDS FOR WIRE"/></a>
+<h3>'W. STANDS FOR WIRE'</h3>
+<p>"Hulloah, Jarge! Been puttin' up some wire to keep the fox-hunter away?"</p>
+<p>"Noa, I b'ain't put up no wire; but the 'unt they sends me a lot o' them
+boards with 'W' on um, so I just stuck 'em up all round the land, and
+they never comes nigh o' me now!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_045.png">
+<img src="images/i_045.png" width="100%" alt="THE HUNTING SEASON"/></a>
+<h3>THE HUNTING SEASON</h3>
+<p><i>Rector.</i> "Is that the parcels post, James? He's early this morning,
+isn't he?" (<i>Noise without, baying of dogs, &amp;c.</i>) "What's all this&mdash;&mdash;"</p>
+<p><i>James</i> (<i>excited</i>). "Yes, sir. Postman says as how the young 'ounds, a
+comin' back from cubbin', found 'im near the kennels, and runned 'im all
+the way 'ere. They was close on 'im when he got in! Thinks it was a
+packet o' red 'errins in the bag, sir! I see the run from the pantry
+window"&mdash;(<i>with enthusiasm</i>)&mdash;"a beautiful ten minutes' bu'st, sir!"]</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_046.png">
+<img src="images/i_046.png" width="100%" alt="Duck, you fool"/></a><br /><br />
+<center>"Duck, you fool! Duck!"</center>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Hunting "Day by Day"</span></h3>
+
+<p>"The Mudsquashington Foxhounds had a good day's sport from Wotsisname
+Coverts (which were laid for a large number). They found in Thingamy
+Woods, rattled him round the Osier Beds, and then through the Gorse,
+just above Sumware. Leaving this and turning left-handed, he ran on as
+far as Sumotherplace, where he finally got to ground. Amongst the
+numerous field were Lord Foozle and Lady Frump, Messrs. Borkins,
+Poshbury, and Tomkyn-Smith."<a name="FNanchor_A_1" id="FNanchor_A_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_1" class="fnanchor"><sup>[A]</sup></a></p>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_A_1" id="Footnote_A_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_1"><span class="label"><sup>[A]</sup></span></a> Half a dozen similar paragraphs cut out as being too
+exciting for the average reader's brain to bear.&mdash;<span class="smcap">Ed.</span></p></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">At Melton</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>First Sportsman.</i> "That crock of yours seems to be a bit of a
+songster."</p>
+
+<p><i>Second Sportsman.</i> "Yes, he has always been like that since I lent him
+to a well-known English tenor."</p>
+
+<p><i>First Sportsman</i> (<i>drily</i>). "You should have taken him in exchange."</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_048.png">
+<img src="images/i_048.png" width="100%" alt="A NICE BEGINNING"/></a>
+<h3>A NICE BEGINNING.</h3>
+<p>The above is not a French bull-fight, but merely the unpleasant
+adventure Mr. Jopling experienced on our opening day, when a skittish
+Alderney crossed him at the first fence.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_049.png">
+<img src="images/i_049.png" width="100%" alt="ARRY ON ORSEBACK"/></a>
+<h3>'ARRY ON 'ORSEBACK</h3>
+<p><i>'Arry</i> (<i>in extremities</i>). "Well, gi' <i>me</i> a <i>bike</i>!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_050.png">
+<img src="images/i_050.png" width="100%" alt="sit tight this time"/></a>
+<h3>CONVENIENCE OF A LIGHT-WEIGHT GROOM</h3>
+<p><i>Miss Ethel.</i> "Now, sit tight this time, Charles. How could you be so
+stupid as to let him go?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_051.png">
+<img src="images/i_051.png" width="100%" alt="Don't jump here"/></a><br /><br />
+<p><i>Voice from the ditch.</i> "Don't jump here!"</p>
+<p><i>Irish Huntsman.</i> "And what would ye be after down there?
+Wather-cresses?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Rather</span></h3>
+
+<p>"Is fox-hunting dangerous?" asks one of our daily papers. A fox informs
+us that it has its risks.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_052.png">
+<img src="images/i_052.png" width="100%" alt="let me 'ave a turn"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p><i>Rough Rider</i> (<i>to old Creeper, who will not let his
+horse jump</i>). "Now then, gov'nor, if you are quite sure you can't get
+under it, perhaps you'll let me 'ave a turn!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Proof Positive</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Podson</i> (<i>lately returned from abroad</i>). "Well, I hear you've been
+having a capital season, Thruster."</p>
+
+<p><i>Thruster.</i> "Oh, rippin'! Why, I've had both collar-bones broken, left
+wrist sprained, and haven't got a sound horse left in my string!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_053.png">
+<img src="images/i_053.png" width="100%" alt="INEXPRESSIBLE"/></a>
+<h3>INEXPRESSIBLE</h3>
+<p><i>Master Jack</i> (<i>son of M.F.H., much upset by hard weather</i>). "Go skating
+with you! Not if I know it. May be all very well for you women and those
+curate chaps&mdash;but we hunting men, by George!!!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">By the Covert Side</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Fred</i> (<i>a notorious funk</i>). "Bai Jove! Jack, I'm afraid I've lost my
+nerve this season!"</p>
+
+<p><i>Jack.</i> "Have you? Doosid sorry for the poor beggar who finds it!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_054.png">
+<img src="images/i_054.png" width="100%" alt="Cartoon"/></a>
+<p><i>Elderly Sportsman.</i> "I wonder they don't have that place
+stopped. Why, I remember running a fox to ground there twenty years ago!
+Don't you?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_055.png">
+<img src="images/i_055.png" width="100%" alt="THEORY AND PRACTICE"/></a>
+<h3>THEORY AND PRACTICE; OR, WHY THE ENGAGEMENT WAS BROKEN
+OFF</h3>
+<p><i>Lady Di</i> (<i>to Jack, whose vows of devotion have been interrupted by a
+fox being hollered away</i>). "Oh, Jack, my hair's coming down! Do stop and
+hold my horse. I won't be five minutes."</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_056.png">
+<img src="images/i_056.png" width="100%" alt="AWFUL RESULT OF THE WAR"/></a>
+<h3>AWFUL RESULT OF THE WAR!</h3>
+<center><i>A Dream of Mr. Punch's Sporting Correspondent</i></center>
+
+<blockquote><p>["Mr. Arthur Wilson, Master of the Holderness Hunt, has received an
+intimation from the War Office that, in consequence of the war with
+the Transvaal, ten of his horses will be required."&mdash;<i>Daily
+Paper.</i>]</p></blockquote>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_057.png">
+<img src="images/i_057.png" width="100%" alt="NO FOLLOWERS ALLOWED"/></a>
+<h3>"NO FOLLOWERS ALLOWED"</h3>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_058.png">
+<img src="images/i_058.png" width="100%" alt="ROBBERY WITH VIOLENCE"/></a>
+<h3>ROBBERY WITH VIOLENCE</h3>
+<p><i>Lady</i> (<i>who has just jumped on fallen Sportsman</i>). "I'm awfully sorry!
+I hope we didn't hurt you?"</p>
+<p><i>Fallen Sportsman.</i> "Oh, I'm all right, thanks. But&mdash;er&mdash;do you mind
+leaving me my hat?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">In the Midlands</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Belated Hunting Man</i> (<i>to Native</i>). "Can you kindly point out the way
+to the Fox and Cock Inn?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Native.</i> "D'ye mean the Barber's Arms?"</p>
+
+<p><i>B. H. M.</i> "No, the Fox and Cock!"</p>
+
+<p><i>Native.</i> "Well, that's what we call the Barber's Arms."</p>
+
+<p><i>B. H. M.</i> "Why so?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Native</i> (<i>with a hoarse laugh</i>). "Well, ain't the Fox and Cock the same
+as the Brush and Comb?"</p>
+
+<blockquote><p>[<i>Vanishes into the gloaming, leaving the B. H. M. muttering those
+words which are not associated with benediction, while he wearily
+passes on his way.</i></p></blockquote>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Appropriate to the Winter Season</span></h3>
+
+<p>For sportsmen, the old song long ago popular, entitled "<i>There's a Good
+Time Coming, Boys</i>," if sung by a M.F.H. with a bad cold, as thus:
+"<i>There's a Good Tibe Cubbing, Boys!</i>"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_060.png">
+<img src="images/i_060.png" width="100%" alt="hunting cap comes home"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<center>Mr. Briggs's hunting cap comes home, but that is really a
+thing Mrs. Briggs <i>can</i> not, and <i>will</i> not put up with!</center>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_061.png">
+<img src="images/i_061.png" width="100%" alt="obliged to lead his horse up"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p>Mr. Briggs goes out with the Brighton Harriers. He has a
+capital day. The only drawback is, that he is obliged to lead his horse
+<i>up</i> hill to ease him&mdash;</p>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_062.png">
+<img src="images/i_062.png" width="100%" alt="And down"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p>and <i>down</i> hill because he is afraid of going over his
+head&mdash;so that he doesn't get quite so much horse exercise as he could
+wish!</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>AT THE HUNT BALL</h2>
+
+<center>(<i>The Sad Complaint of a Man in Black</i>)</center>
+
+<div class="poem w36"><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0"><span class="smcap">o Molly</span>, dear, my head, I fear, is going round and round,</p>
+<p class="i0">Your cousin isn't in the hunt, when hunting men abound;</p>
+<p class="i0">A waltz for me no more you'll keep, the girls appear to think</p>
+<p class="i0">There's a law been made in favour of the wearing of the pink.</p>
+<p class="i0">Sure I met you in the passage, and I took you by the hand,</p>
+<p class="i0">And says I, "How many dances, Molly, darlint, will ye stand?"</p>
+<p class="i0">But your card was full, you said it with a most owdacious wink,</p>
+<p class="i0">And I'm "hanging" all your partners for the wearing of the pink!</p>
+<p class="i0">You'd a waltz for Charlie Thruster, but you'd divil a one for me,</p>
+<p class="i0">Though he dances like a steam-engine, as all the world may see;</p>
+<p class="i0">'Tis an illigant divarsion to observe the crowd divide,</p>
+<p class="i0">As he plunges down the ball-room, taking couples in his stride.</p>
+<p class="i0">'Tis a cropper you'll be coming, but you know your business best,</p>
+<p class="i0">Still, it's bad to see you romping round with Charlie and the rest;</p>
+<p class="i0">Now you're dancing with Lord Arthur&mdash;sure, he's had enough to dhrink&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i0">And I'm "hanging" all your partners for the wearing of the pink!</p>
+<p class="i0">Your cruelty ashamed you'll be someday to call to mind,</p>
+<p class="i0">You'll be glad to ask my pardon, then, for being so unkind,</p>
+<p class="i0">The hunting men are first, to-night&mdash;well, let them have their whack&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i0">You'll be glad to dance with me, someday&mdash;when all the coats are black!</p>
+<p class="i0">But, since pink's the only colour now that fills your pretty head,</p>
+<p class="i0">Bedad, I'll have some supper, and then vanish home to bed.</p>
+<p class="i0">'Tis the most distressful ball-room I was ever in, I think,</p>
+<p class="i0">And I'm "hanging" all your partners for the wearing of the pink!</p>
+</div></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_064.png">
+<img src="images/i_064.png" width="100%" alt="ANOTHER DAY WITH THE HOUNDS"/></a>
+<h3>MR. BRIGGS HAS ANOTHER DAY WITH THE HOUNDS</h3>
+<p>Mr. Briggs can't bear flying leaps, so he makes for a gap&mdash;which is
+immediately filled by a frantic Protectionist, who is vowing that he
+will pitchfork Mr. B. if he comes "galloperravering" over his
+fences&mdash;danged if he doant!</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_065.png">
+<img src="images/i_065.png" width="100%" alt="A DOUBTFUL INFORMANT"/></a>
+<h3>A DOUBTFUL INFORMANT</h3>
+<p><i>Miss Connie</i> (<i>to Gent in brook</i>). "Could you tell me if there is a
+bridge anywhere handy?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_066.png">
+<img src="images/i_066.png" width="100%" alt="NOT TO BE BEATEN"/></a>
+<h3>NOT TO BE BEATEN</h3>
+<p><i>Cissy.</i> "Why should they call the hare's tail the scut?"</p>
+<p><i>Bobby</i> (<i>with a reputation as an authority to keep up</i>). "Oh&mdash;er&mdash;why
+you see&mdash;oh, of course, because the hare scuttles, you know, when she is
+hunted."</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Why he waited</span></h3>
+
+<p>"What's the matter with Jack's new horse? He won't start."</p>
+
+<p>"Don't know; but they say he's been in an omnibus. Perhaps he's waiting
+for the bell!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_067.png">
+<img src="images/i_067.png" width="100%" alt="PLEASURES OF HUNTING"/></a>
+<h3>THE PLEASURES OF HUNTING</h3>
+<p>To get a toss in a snowdrift, and, while lying half-smothered, to be
+sworn at for not shouting to warn the man following you.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">So Consoling</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Lady</i> (<i>whose mare has just kicked a member of the Hunt, who was
+following too closely</i>). "Oh, I'm so sorry! I do hope it didn't hurt
+you! She's such a gentle thing, and could only have done it in the
+merest play, you know."</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_068.png">
+<img src="images/i_068.png" width="100%" alt="POSITIVELY OSTENTATIOUS"/></a>
+<h3>POSITIVELY OSTENTATIOUS</h3>
+<p><i>Mr. Phunkstick</i> (<i>quite put out</i>). "Talk about agricultural depression,
+indeed! Don't believe in it! Never saw fences kept in such disgustingly
+good order in my life!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Irish Hunting Tipple</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Englishman</i> (<i>having partaken of his friend's flask, feels as if he had
+swallowed melted lead</i>.) "Terribly strong! Pure whiskey, is it not?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Irishman.</i> "Faith! not at all! It's greatly diluted with gin!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_069.png">
+<img src="images/i_069.png" width="100%" alt="IN A SHOOTING COUNTRY"/></a>
+<h3>IN A SHOOTING COUNTRY</h3>
+<p><i>Railway Porter</i> (<i>who has been helping lady to mount</i>). "I hope you'll
+'ave a good day, ma'am."</p>
+<p><i>Lady Diana.</i> "I just hope we'll find a fox."</p>
+<p><i>Porter</i> (<i>innocently</i>). "Oh, that's all right, ma'am. The fox came down
+by the last train!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_070.png">
+<img src="images/i_070.png" width="100%" alt="INSULT TO INJURY"/></a>
+</div>
+<h3>INSULT TO INJURY</h3>
+<p><i>Fitz-Noodle's Harriers, after a capital run, have killed&mdash;a fox!</i></p>
+<p><i>Incensed local M.F.H.</i> "Confound it, sir, you have killed one of my
+foxes!"</p>
+<p><i>F. N.</i> "It's all right, old chap! You may kill one of my hares!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>HUNTING SONG</h2>
+
+<center>(<i>To be sung when the Hounds meet at Colney Hatch or Hanwell</i>)</center>
+
+<div class="poem w32"><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">Tantivy! Anchovy! Tantara!</p>
+<p class="i0">The moon is up, the moon is up,</p>
+<p class="i2">The larks begin to fly,</p>
+<p class="i0">And like a scarlet buttercup</p>
+<p class="i2">Aurora gilds the sky.</p>
+<p class="i0">Then let us all a-hunting go,</p>
+<p class="i2">Come, sound the gay French horn,</p>
+<p class="i0">And chase the spiders to and fro,</p>
+<p class="i2">Amid the standing corn.</p>
+<p class="i0">Tantivy! Anchovy! Tantara!</p>
+</div></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Uncommonly Keen</span></h3>
+
+<p>"Why, where's the horse, Miss Kitty? By Jove, you're wet through! What
+has happened?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, the stupid utterly refused to take that brook, so I left him and
+swam it. I couldn't miss the end of this beautiful thing!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_072.png">
+<img src="images/i_072.png" width="100%" alt="IN A BLIND DITCH"/></a>
+<h3>IN A BLIND DITCH</h3>
+<p><i>Sportsman</i> (<i>to friend, whom he has mounted on a raw four-year-old for
+"a quiet morning's outing"</i>). "Bravo, Jack! Well done! That's just what
+the clumsy beggar wanted. Teach him to look where he's going!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_073.png">
+<img src="images/i_073.png" width="100%" alt="DRY HUMOUR"/></a>
+<h3>DRY HUMOUR</h3>
+<p>"Be'n't ye comin' over for 'im, mister?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_074.png">
+<img src="images/i_074.png" width="100%" alt="WIREPROOF"/></a>
+<h3>WIREPROOF</h3>
+<p>Sir Harry Hardman, mounted on "Behemoth," created rather a stir at the
+meet. He said he didn't care a hang for the barbed or any other kind of
+wire.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_075.png">
+<img src="images/i_075.png" width="100%" alt="Not hurt, I hope"/></a>
+<h3>A SKETCH FROM THE MIDLANDS</h3>
+<p>"Hulloa, old chap! Not hurt, I hope?"</p>
+<p>"Oh, no, no! Just got off to have a look at the view."</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_076.png">
+<img src="images/i_076.png" width="100%" alt="No jolly fear"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p><i>Whip.</i> "Here, here! Hold hard! Come back!"</p>
+<p><i>Tommy</i> (<i>home for the holidays</i>). "No jolly fear! You want to get first
+start!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3>"<span class="smcap">Business First</span>"</h3>
+
+<p><i>Favourite Son of M.F.H.</i> (<i>to old huntsman</i>). "No, Smith, you won't see
+much more of me for the rest of the season; if at all."</p>
+
+<p><i>Smith</i> (<i>with some concern</i>). "Indeed, sir! 'Ow's that?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Son of M.F.H.</i> "Well, you see, I'm reading hard."</p>
+
+<p><i>Smith</i> (<i>interrogatively</i>). "Readin' 'ard, sir?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Son of M.F.H.</i> "Yes, I'm reading Law."</p>
+
+<p><i>Smith.</i> "Well, I likes to read a bit o' them perlice reports myself,
+sir, now an' then; but I don't allow 'em to hinterfere with a honest
+day's 'untin'."</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">An Omission best omitted</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Brown</i> (<i>on foot</i>). "Do you know what the total is for the season?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Simkins</i> (<i>somewhat new to country life</i>). "Fifteen pairs of foxes, the
+huntsman says. But he seems to have kept no count of rabbits or 'ares,
+and I know they've killed and eaten a lot of those!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_078.png">
+<img src="images/i_078.png" width="100%" alt="PUTTING IT NICELY"/></a>
+<h3>PUTTING IT NICELY</h3>
+<p><i>Young Lady</i> (<i>politely, to old Gentleman who is fiddling with gap</i>). "I
+don't wish to hurry you, sir, but when you have quite finished your game
+of spilikins I should like to come!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_079.png">
+<img src="images/i_079.png" width="100%" alt="TERPSICHOREAN"/></a>
+<h3>TERPSICHOREAN</h3>
+<p><i>Sportsman</i> (<i>to Dancing Man, who has accepted a mount</i>). "Hold on
+tight, sir, and she'll <i>waltz</i> over with you.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_080.png">
+<img src="images/i_080.png" width="100%" alt="offer you a drink"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p><i>Benevolent Stranger.</i> "Allow me, sir, to offer you a
+drink!"</p>
+<p><i>Unfortunate Sportsman</i> (<i>just out of brook</i>). "Thanks; but I've had a
+drop too much already!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_081.png">
+<img src="images/i_081.png" width="100%" alt="THE MAGIC WORD"/></a>
+<h3>THE MAGIC WORD</h3>
+<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>having run a fox to ground, to yokel</i>). "Run away down and
+get some o' your fellows to come up with spades, will ye? Tell 'em we're
+after hidden treasure!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_082.png">
+<img src="images/i_082.png" width="100%" alt="A CAPITAL DODGE"/></a>
+<h3>A CAPITAL DODGE</h3>
+<p>Among his native banks Old Poddles takes a lot of beating. He says
+there's nothing easier when you know how to negotiate 'em.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>HUNTING EXTRAORDINARY</h2>
+
+<p>Jobson, who edits a cheerful little weekly, said to me the other day:</p>
+
+<p>"You hunt, don't you?"</p>
+
+<p>I looked at him knowingly. Jobson interpreted my smile according to his
+preconceived idea.</p>
+
+<p>"I thought so," he continued.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, you might do me a bright little article&mdash;about half a column, you
+know&mdash;on hunting, will you?"</p>
+
+<p>Why should I hesitate? Jobson is safe for cash; and he had not asked me
+to give my own experiences of the hunting field. I replied warily, "I
+fancy I know the sort of thing you want."</p>
+
+<p>"Good," he said, and before we could arrive at any detailed explanation
+he had banged the door and dashed downstairs, jumped into his hansom and
+was off.</p>
+
+<p>This was the article:-</p>
+
+<h3>THOUGHTS ON HUNTING.</h3>
+
+<p>It is hardly possible to overrate the value of hunting as a National
+sport. Steeplechasing is a Grand-National sport, but it is the sport of
+the rich, whereas hunting is not. By judiciously dodging the Hunt
+Secretary, you can, in fact, hunt for nothing. Of course, people will
+come at me open-mouthed for this assertion, and say, "How about the keep
+of your horses?" To which I reply, "If you keep a carriage, hunt the
+carriage horse; if you don't, borrow a friend's horse for a long ride in
+the country, and accidentally meet the hounds." To proceed. This has
+been a season of poor scent. Of course, the horses of the present<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span> day
+have deteriorated as line hunters: they possess not the keen sense of
+smell which their grandsires had. But despite this the sport goes gaily
+on. There are plenty of foxes&mdash;but we cannot agree with the popular idea
+of feeding them on poultry. And yet, in every hunt, we see hunters
+subscribing to poultry funds. This is not as it should be: Spott's meat
+biscuit would be much better for foxes' food.</p>
+
+<p>But these be details: let us hie forrard and listen to the cheery voice
+of sly Reynard as he is winded from his earth. The huntsman blows his
+horn, and soon the welkin rings with a chorus of brass instruments; the
+tufters dash into covert, and anon the cheerful note of <i>Ponto</i> or
+<i>Gripper</i> gives warning that a warrantable fox is on foot&mdash;well, of
+course, he couldn't be on horseback, but this is merely a venatorial
+<i>fa&ccedil;on de parler</i>. Away go the huntsmen, showing marvellous dexterity in
+cracking their whips and blowing their horns at the same moment. Last of
+all come the hounds, trailing after their masters&mdash;ah, good dogs, you
+cannot hope to keep up very far with the swifter-footed horses!
+Nevertheless, they strain at their leashes and struggle for a better
+place at the horses' heels. "Hike forrard! tally ho! whoo-hoop!" They
+swoop over the fields like a charge of cavalry. But after several hours'
+hard running a check is at hand: the fox falters, then struggles on
+again, its tail waving over its head. As its pursuers approach, it
+rushes up a tree to sit on the topmost branch and crack nuts.</p>
+
+<p>The panting horses arrive&mdash;some with their riders still in the saddle,
+though many, alas! have fallen by the wayside. Next come the hounds, at
+a long interval&mdash;poor <i>Fido</i>, poor <i>Vic</i>, poor <i>Snap</i>! you have done
+your best to keep up, but the horses have out-distanced you! The
+whipper-in immediately climbs the tree in which the little red-brown
+animal still peacefully cracks its nuts, its pretty tail curled well
+over its head. Its would-be captor carries a revolving wire cage, and,
+by sleight-of-hand movement, manages to get the quarry securely into it.
+Then he descends, places the cage in a cart and it is driven home.</p>
+
+<p>The "mort" is sounded by four green velvet-coated huntsmen, with horns
+wound round their bodies; a beautiful brush presented to the lady who
+was first up at the "take"; and then the field slowly disperse. Tally
+Ho-Yoicks! all is over for the day.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_082.png">
+<img src="images/i_084.png" width="100%" alt="MANNERS IN THE FIELD"/></a>
+<h3>MANNERS IN THE FIELD</h3>
+<p>Always be prepared to give the lead to a lady, even at some little
+personal inconvenience.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_085.png">
+<img src="images/i_085.png" width="100%" alt="PLEASURES OF HUNTING"/></a>
+<h3>THE PLEASURES OF HUNTING</h3>
+<p>Having been cannoned and nearly brought down, to be asked if you are
+trying the American seat.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_087.png">
+<img src="images/i_087.png" width="100%" alt="HUNTING SKETCH"/></a>
+<h3>HUNTING SKETCH</h3>
+<p>The Cast Shoe, or Late for the Meat.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_088.png">
+<img src="images/i_088.png" width="100%" alt="A KINDLY VIEW OF IT"/></a>
+<h3>A KINDLY VIEW OF IT</h3>
+<p><i>First Rustic</i> (<i>to Second Ditto</i>). "Oh, I say! Ain't he fond of his
+horse!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_089.png">
+<img src="images/i_089.png" width="100%" alt="Where are you going"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p><i>M.F.H.</i> "Hold hard! Hold hard, please!! Where <i>are</i> you
+going with that brute?"</p>
+<p><i>Diana</i> (<i>plaintively</i>). "I wish I knew!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>THE LAST DAY OF HUNTING</h2>
+
+<center>(<i>Stanzas for the First of April</i>)</center>
+
+<div class="poem w32"><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">Right day to bid a long farewell</p>
+<p class="i2">To the field's gladsome glee;</p>
+<p class="i0">To hang the crop upon its peg,</p>
+<p class="i2">The saddle on its tree.</p>
+<p class="i0">All Fools' the day, all Fools' the deed,</p>
+<p class="i2">That hunting's end doth bring&mdash;</p>
+<p class="i0">With all those stinking violets,</p>
+<p class="i2">And humbug of the Spring!</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">Good-bye to pig-skin and to pink,</p>
+<p class="i2">Good-bye to hound and horse!</p>
+<p class="i0">The whimpering music sudden heard</p>
+<p class="i2">From cover-copse and gorse;</p>
+<p class="i0">The feathering stems, the sweeping ears,</p>
+<p class="i2">The heads to scent laid low,</p>
+<p class="i0">The find, the burst, the "Gone-away!"</p>
+<p class="i2">The rattling "Tally-ho!"</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">My horses may eat off their heads,</p>
+<p class="i2">My huntsman eat his heart;</p>
+<p class="i0">My hounds may dream of kills and runs</p>
+<p class="i2">In which they've borne their part,</p>
+<p class="i0">Until the season's bore is done,</p>
+<p class="i2">And Parliament set free,</p>
+<p class="i0">And cub-hunting comes back again</p>
+<p class="i2">To make a man of me!</p>
+</div></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_091.png">
+<img src="images/i_091.png" width="100%" alt="You're dropping your fish"/></a>
+<h3>"A-HUNTING WE WILL GO!"</h3>
+<p><i>Lady.</i> "You're dropping your fish!"</p>
+<p><i>Irish Fish Hawker</i> (<i>riding hard</i>). "Och, bad luck to thim! Niver
+moind. Sure we're kapin' up wid the gentry!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_092.png">
+<img src="images/i_092.png" width="100%" alt="JUMPING POWDER"/></a>
+<h3>JUMPING POWDER</h3>
+<p>(<i>Mr. Twentystun having a nip on his way to covert</i>)</p>
+<p><i>Small Boy.</i> "Oh my, Billy, 'ere's a heighty-ton gun a chargin' of
+'isself afore goin' into haction!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_093.png">
+<img src="images/i_093.png" width="100%" alt="DRAWN BLANK"/></a>
+<h3>DRAWN BLANK</h3>
+<p><i>Huntsman.</i> "How is it you never have any foxes here now?"</p>
+<p><i>Keeper</i> (<i>who has orders to shoot them</i>.) "Pheasants have eat 'em all!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">The Advantage of Education</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>M.F.H.</i> (<i>who has had occasion to reprimand hard-riding Stranger</i>.) "I'm
+afraid I used rather strong language to you just now."</p>
+
+<p><i>Stranger.</i> "Strong language? A mere <i>twitter</i>, sir. You should hear
+<i>our</i> Master!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_094.png">
+<img src="images/i_094.png" width="100%" alt="it's only mud"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p><i>Irate Non-sporting Farmer.</i> "Hi! you there! What the
+Duce do you mean by riding over my wheat!"</p>
+<p><i>'Arry.</i> "'Ere, I say! What are yer givin' us? <i>Wheat!</i> Why, it's only
+bloomin' <i>mud!</i>"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">"Foot and Mouth" Trouble</span></h3>
+
+<p>A valuable hunter, belonging to Mr. Durlacher, got its hind foot
+securely fixed in its mouth one day last week, and a veterinary surgeon
+had to be summoned to its assistance. This recalls the ancient Irish
+legend of the man who never opened his mouth without putting his foot
+into it. But that, of course, was a bull.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Decidedly Not</span></h3>
+<p><i>Nervous Visitor</i> (<i>pulling up at stiff-looking fence</i>.) "Are you going to
+take this hedge, sir?"</p>
+<p><i>Sportsman.</i> "No. It can stop where it is, as far as I'm concerned."</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Ungrateful</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>The Pride of the Hunt</i> (<i>to Smith, who, for the last ten minutes, has
+been gallantly struggling with obstinate gate</i>.) "Mr. Smith, if you
+really <i>can't</i> open that gate, perhaps you will kindly move out of the
+way, and allow me to <i>jump</i> it!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_096.png">
+<img src="images/i_096.png" width="100%" alt="APT"/></a>
+<h3>APT</h3>
+<p><i>Brown</i> (<i>helping lady out of water</i>.) "'Pon my word, Miss Smith, you
+remind me exactly of What's-her-name rising from the What-you-call!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_097.png">
+<img src="images/i_097.png" width="100%" alt="A CHECK"/></a>
+<h3>A CHECK</h3>
+<p><i>M.F.H.</i> (<i>riding up to old Rustic, with the intention of asking him if he
+has seen the lost fox</i>.) "How long have you been working here, master?"</p>
+<p><i>Old Rustic</i> (<i>not seeing the point</i>.) "Nigh upon sixty year, mister!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_098.png">
+<img src="images/i_098.png" width="100%" alt="WHAT'S IN A NAME"/></a>
+<h3>"WHAT'S IN A NAME?"</h3>
+<p><i>Whip.</i> "<i>Wisdom!</i> Get away there!! <i>Wisdom!!</i> <i>Wisdom!!!</i> Ugh!&mdash;you
+always were the biggest fool in the pack!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_099.png">
+<img src="images/i_099.png" width="100%" alt="being helped out of a brook"/></a>
+<h3>SOMETHING THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY</h3>
+<p><i>Mrs. Brown</i> (<i>being helped out of a brook by the gallant Captain, who has
+also succeeded in catching her horse</i>.) "Oh, Captain Robinson! thank you
+<i>so</i> much!"</p>
+<p><i>Gallant, but somewhat flurried, Captain.</i> "Not at all&mdash;don't mention
+it." (<i>Wishing to add something excessively polite and appropriate.</i>)
+"Only hope I may soon have another opportunity of doing the same again
+for you."</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Reassuring</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Criticising friend</i> (<i>to nervous man on new horse</i>.) "Oh! now I recollect
+that mare. Smashem bought her of Crashem last season, and she broke a
+collar-bone for each of them."</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_100.png">
+<img src="images/i_100.png" width="100%" alt="TIP OF THE MORNING"/></a>
+<h3>"THE TIP OF THE MORNING TO YOU!"</h3>
+<p><i>First Whip thanks him, and hums to himself,</i> "When other tips, and
+t'other parts, Then he remembers <i>me!</i>"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_101.png">
+<img src="images/i_101.png" width="100%" alt="goin' to try it backwards"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p><i>Giles</i> (<i>indicating Sportsman on excitable horse, waiting
+his turn</i>.) "Bless us all, Tumas, if that un beant a goin' to try it
+back'ards!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_102.png">
+<img src="images/i_102.png" width="100%" alt="THE HARDUP HARRIERS"/></a>
+<h3>WITH THE HARDUP HARRIERS</h3>
+<p><i>Dismounted Huntsman</i> (<i>to his mount</i>.) "Whoa, you old brute! To think I
+went and spared yer from the biler only last week! You hungrateful old
+'idebound 'umbug!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>'INTS ON 'UNTING, BY 'ARRY</h2>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_103.png">
+<img src="images/i_103.png" width="100%" alt="On Clothes"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p>(1)<span class="smcap">On Clothes.</span>&mdash;"Why not employ local talent? Saves half
+the money, and no one can tell the difference."</p>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_104.png">
+<img src="images/i_104.png" width="100%" alt="try to pull it out"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p>(2) If the thong of your whip gets under your horse's
+tail, just try to pull it out!</p>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_105.png">
+<img src="images/i_105.png" width="100%" alt=" Don't buy a horse"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p>(3) Don't buy a horse because he is described as being
+"Well known with the&mdash;&mdash; Hounds." It might be true.</p>
+</div>
+
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_106.png">
+<img src="images/i_106.png" width="100%" alt="a bit out of hand"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p>(4) If at a meet your horse should get a bit out of hand,
+just run him up against some one.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_107.png">
+<img src="images/i_107.png" width="100%" alt="opening a gate for the huntsman"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p>(5) If opening a gate for the huntsman, don't fall into
+the middle of the pack!</p>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_108.png">
+<img src="images/i_108.png" width="100%" alt="Sit well back at your fences"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p>(6) Sit well back at your fences!</p>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_109.png">
+<img src="images/i_109.png" width="100%" alt="Look before you leap"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<center>(7) Look before you leap.</center>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_110.png">
+<img src="images/i_110.png" width="100%" alt="If you lose your horse"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p>(8) If you lose your horse, just tell the huntsman to
+catch it for you.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Excusable</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>M.F.H.</i> (<i>justly irate, having himself come carefully round edge of
+seed-field</i>.) "Blank it all, Rogerson, what's the good o' me trying to
+keep the field off seeds, and a fellow like you coming slap across 'em?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Hard-Riding Farmer.</i> "It's all right. They're my own! Ar've just come
+ower my neighbour's wheat, and ar couldn't for vary sham(e) miss my own
+seeads!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Anxious to Sell</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Dealer</i> (<i>to Hunting Man, whose mount has <span class="smcap">NOT</span> answered expectations</i>.)
+"How much do you want for that nag o' yours, sir?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Hunting Man.</i> "Well, I'll take a hundred guineas."</p>
+
+<p><i>Dealer.</i> "Make it <i>shillings</i>."</p>
+
+<p><i>H. M.</i> (<i>delighted</i>.) "He's yours!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_112.png">
+<img src="images/i_112.png" width="100%" alt="NOT A LADIES' DAY"/></a>
+<h3>NOT A LADIES' DAY</h3>
+<p><i>Miss Scramble.</i> "Now, Charles, give me one more long hair-pin, and I
+shall do."</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Casual</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Owner of let-out hunters</i> (<i>to customer just returned from day's sport</i>.)
+"Are you aware, sir, that ain't my 'orse?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Sportsman.</i> "Not yours! Then, by Jove, I <i>did</i> collar the wrong gee
+during that scrimmage at the brook!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">At our Opening Meet</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Stranger from over the water.</i> "I guess you've a mighty smart bunch of
+dogs there, m'lord!"</p>
+
+<p><i>Noble but crusty M.F.H.</i> "Then you guess wrong, sir. <i>This is a pack of
+hounds!</i>"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Must be Hungry</span></h3>
+
+<p>"Wish you'd feed your horse before he comes out."</p>
+
+<p>"Eh&mdash;why&mdash;hang it!&mdash;what do you mean?"</p>
+
+<p>"He's always trying to eat my boots. He evidently thinks there's some
+chance of getting at a little corn!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_114.png">
+<img src="images/i_114.png" width="100%" alt="Have you seen my hare"/></a>
+<h3>THE RETORT COURTEOUS</h3>
+<center>(<i>A Reminiscence of the past Harrier Season</i>)</center><br />
+<p><i>Major Topknot, M.H.</i> (<i>to butcher's boy</i>.) "Hi! Hulloah! Have you seen my
+hare?"</p>
+<p><i>Butcher's Boy.</i> "Ga-a-rn! 'Ave you seen my whiskers?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Disinterested Kindness</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Sportsman</i> (<i>just come to grief, to Kindhearted Stranger who has captured
+horse</i>.) "I say, I'm awfully obliged to you! I can get on all right, so
+please don't wait!"</p>
+
+<p><i>Kindhearted Stranger.</i> "Oh, I'd rather, thanks! I want you to flatten
+the next fence for me!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Encouraging</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Nervous Man</i> (<i>who hires his hunters</i>.) "Know anything about this mare?
+Ringbone tells me she's as clever as a man!"</p>
+
+<p><i>Friend.</i> "Clever as a man? Clever as a woman more like it! Seen her
+play some fine old games with two or three fellows, I can tell you!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_116.png">
+<img src="images/i_116.png" width="100%" alt="Voice from bottom of ditch"/></a>
+<h3>NUNC AUT NUNQUAM</h3>
+<p><i>Voice from bottom of ditch.</i> "Hold hard a minute! My money has slipped
+out of my pockets, and it's all down here somewhere!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_117.png">
+<img src="images/i_117.png" width="100%" alt="A REFORMED CHARACTER"/></a>
+<h3>A REFORMED CHARACTER</h3>
+<p><i>John.</i> "Goin' to give up 'untin'! Deary! deary! An' 'ow's that,
+missie?"</p>
+<p><i>Little Miss Di.</i> "Well, you see, John, I find my cousin Charlie, who is
+going to be a curate, does not approve of hunting women, so I intend to
+be a district visitor instead!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 40%">
+<a href="images/i_118.png">
+<img src="images/i_118.png" width="100%" alt="WHO'S WHO"/></a>
+<h3>MOTTOES; OR, "WHO'S WHO?"</h3>
+<p>Mrs. Prettyphat. Family Motto&mdash;"<i>Medici jussu</i>."</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Something like a Character</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>on being introduced to future wife of M.F.H.</i>.) "Proud to
+make your acquaintance, miss! Known the Capting, miss, for nigh on ten
+seasons, and never saw 'im turn 'is 'ead from hanything as was jumpable!
+Knows a 'oss and knows a 'ound! Can ride one and 'unt t'other; and if
+that ain't as much as can be looked for in a 'usband, miss, why, I'll be
+jiggered!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">A Liberal Allowance</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>who has just drawn Mr. Van Wyck's coverts blank</i>.) "Rather
+short of cubs, I'm afraid, sir!"</p>
+
+<p><i>Mr. Van Wyck</i> (<i>who has very recently acquired his country seat</i>.) "Most
+extraordinary! Can't understand it at all! Why, I told my keeper to
+order a dozen only last week!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_120.png">
+<img src="images/i_120.png" width="100%" alt="STORIES WITHOUT WORDS"/></a>
+<h3>STORIES WITHOUT WORDS</h3>
+<center>How "the second horseman" went home.</center>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_121.png">
+<img src="images/i_121.png" width="100%" alt="go home at once"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p>Scene&mdash;<i>As above.</i> Time&mdash;<i>Mid-day.</i> Sport&mdash;<i>None up to
+now.</i></p>
+<p><i>Stout Party</i> (<i>about to leave</i>.) "Most extr'ordinary thing. Whenever I go
+home, they always have a rattling good run."</p>
+<p><i>Candid Friend.</i> "Then, for goodness' sake, <i>go home at once!</i>"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_122.png">
+<img src="images/i_122.png" width="100%" alt="MOST EXTRAORDINARY"/></a>
+<h3>MOST EXTRAORDINARY</h3>
+<p><i>Dismounted Sportsman.</i> "Now, how the deuce did my hat manage to get up
+there?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Straight</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>to Boy, who is riding his second horse</i>.) "Hi, there! What
+the doose are yer doin' of with that second 'oss?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Boy</i> (<i>Irish, and only just come to the Hunt stables from a Racing
+Establishment</i>.) "Arrah thin, if oi roides oi roides to win! and divil a
+second is he goin' to be at all, at all!!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Forbearance</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Member of Hunt</i> (<i>to Farmer</i>.) "I wouldn't ride over those seeds if I
+were you. They belong to a disagreeable sort of fellow, who might make a
+fuss about it."</p>
+
+<p><i>Farmer.</i> "Well, sir, as him's me, he won't say nothing about it
+to-day."</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_124.png">
+<img src="images/i_124.png" width="100%" alt="Extract from a letter"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p>(<i>Extract from a letter received by Mr. Shootall on the
+morning when hounds were expected to draw his covers</i>)</p>
+<p><i>Leadenhall Market, Thursday.</i></p>
+<p>Sir,&mdash;Your esteemed order to hand. We regret that we are quite out of
+foxes at present; but, as you mentioned they were for children's pets,
+we thought guinea pigs might do instead, so are sending half a dozen
+to-day. Hoping, &amp;c., &amp;c.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Too Much</span></h3>
+
+<center>(<i>Pity the Sorrows of a poor Hunting Man!</i>)</center>
+
+<p><i>Sportsman</i> (<i>suffering from intense aberration of mind in consequence of
+the weather, in reply to wife of his bosom</i>.) "Put out? Why, o' course
+I'm put out. Been just through the village, and hang me if at least half
+a dozen fools haven't told me that it's nice seasonable weather!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">At the Hunt Ball</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Mr. Hardhit.</i> "Don't you think, Miss Highflier, that men look much
+better in pink&mdash;less like waiters?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Miss Highflier.</i> "Yes, but more like ringmasters&mdash;eh?"</p>
+
+<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[<i>Hardhit isn't a bit offended, but seizes the opportunity.</i></p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_126.png">
+<img src="images/i_126.png" width="100%" alt="HINTS TO BEGINNERS"/></a>
+<h3>HINTS TO BEGINNERS</h3>
+<center>In mounting your horse, always stand facing his tail.</center>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_127.png">
+<img src="images/i_127.png" width="100%" alt="tennis-ball hunting costume"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<center>The patent pneumatic tennis-ball hunting costume. Falling
+a pleasure.</center>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_128.png">
+<img src="images/i_128.png" width="100%" alt="Go on away"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p><i>Second Whip.</i> "G-aw-ne away!"</p>
+<p><i>Middle-aged Diana.</i> "Go on away, indeed! Impertinence! I'll go just
+when I'm ready!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_129.png">
+<img src="images/i_129.png" width="100%" alt="CASE OF REAL DISTRESS"/></a>
+<h3>A CASE OF REAL DISTRESS</h3>
+<p><i>Fox-hunter.</i> "Here's a bore, Jack! The ground is half a foot thick with
+snow, and it's freezing like mad!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">The Huntsman's Point of View</span>.</h3>
+
+<p>One of the best runs of the season.</p>
+
+<p>Good scent all the way.</p>
+
+<p>Sir Heavistone Stogdon unfortunately fell at a stiff bank and broke his
+collar-bone.</p>
+
+<p>At the last moment, I regret to say, the fox got away.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_130.png">
+<img src="images/i_130.png" width="100%" alt="A FOX HUNT"/></a>
+<h3>A FOX HUNT</h3>
+<center>(<i>After a tapestry</i>)</center>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_131.png">
+<img src="images/i_131.png" width="100%" alt="He encounters a coomb"/></a>
+<h3>BUGGLES WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET</h3>
+<center>He encounters a "coomb," and wonders if it is soft at the bottom.</center>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_132.png">
+<img src="images/i_132.png" width="100%" alt="THE DEVON AND SOMERSET"/></a>
+<h3>WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET</h3>
+<p><i>Sportsman</i> (<i>from the bog</i>.) "Confound you, didn't you say there was a
+sound bottom here?"</p>
+<p><i>Shepherd.</i> "Zo there be, maister; but thou 'aven't got down to un
+yet!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_133.png">
+<img src="images/i_133.png" width="100%" alt="WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET"/></a>
+<h3>BUGGLES WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET</h3>
+<center>How he found a "Warrantable Deer."</center>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_134.png">
+<img src="images/i_134.png" width="100%" alt="WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET"/></a>
+<h3>BUGGLES WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET</h3>
+<center><i>In</i> Devonshire.</center>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Fools and their Money</span>&mdash;</h3>
+
+<p><i>Jones</i> (<i>who has been having a fair bucketing for the last half-hour, as
+he passes friend, in his mad career</i>.) "I'd give a fiver to get off this
+brute!"</p>
+
+<p><i>Friend</i> (<i>brutally</i>.) "Don't chuck your money away, old chap! You'll be
+off for less than that!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">With the Queen's</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Leading Sportsman.</i> "Hold ha&mdash;rd! Here's some more of that confounded
+barbed wire! Dashed if I don't think this country is mainly inhabited by
+retired fishing-tackle makers!"</p>
+
+<blockquote><p>[<i>Makes for nearest gate, followed by sympathetic field.</i></p></blockquote>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">His Opinion</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>Jenkinson</i> (<i>to M.F.H., who dislikes being bothered</i>.) "What do you think
+of this horse?" (<i>No answer.</i>) "Bred him myself, you know!"</p>
+
+<p><i>M.F.H.</i> (<i>looking at horse out of corner of his eye</i>.) "Umph! I thought
+you couldn't have been such a silly idiot as to have <i>bought</i> him!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_136.png">
+<img src="images/i_136.png" width="100%" alt="it's freezing again"/></a>
+<h3>THE VOICE OF SPRING</h3>
+<center><i>Bibulous Binks.</i> "Gad, it's freezing again!"</center>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_137.png">
+<img src="images/i_137.png" width="100%" alt="A BLANK DAY"/></a>
+<h3>A BLANK&mdash;BLANK&mdash;DAY</h3>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_138.png">
+<img src="images/i_138.png" width="100%" alt="WHOSE FAULT"/></a>
+<h3>WHOSE FAULT?</h3>
+<center>"He <i>can</i> jump, but he <i>won't!</i>"</center>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_139.png">
+<img src="images/i_139.png" width="100%" alt="A VIEW HALLOO"/></a>
+<h3>A VIEW HALLOO</h3>
+<center>(<i>Hounds at fault</i>)</center>
+<p><i>Whip</i> (<i>bustling up to young Hodge, who has just begun to wave his cap
+and sing out lustily</i>.) "Now then, where is he?"</p>
+<p><i>Young H.</i> "Yonder, sir! Acomin' across yonder!"</p>
+<p><i>Whip.</i> "Get out, why there ain't no fox there stoopid!"</p>
+<p><i>Young H.</i> "No, sir; but there be our Billy on his jackass!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_140.png">
+<img src="images/i_140.png" width="100%" alt="I dropped my whip"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p><i>Miss Nelly</i> (<i>to her Slave, in the middle of the best
+thing of the Season</i>.) "Oh, Mr. Rowel, do you mind going back? I dropped
+my whip at the last fence!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Severe</span></h3>
+
+<p><i>M.F.H.</i> (<i>to Youth from neighbouring Hunt, who has been making himself
+very objectionable</i>.) "Now, look here, young man. I go cub-hunting for
+the purpose of educating <i>my own</i> puppies. As you belong to another
+pack, I'll thank you to take yourself home!"</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_141.png">
+<img src="images/i_141.png" width="100%" alt="HUNTING MEMORANDUM"/></a>
+<h3>HUNTING MEMORANDUM</h3>
+<p>Appearance of things in general to a gentleman who has just turned a
+complete somersault!</p>
+<p><i>* &amp;c., &amp;c., represent sparks of divers beautiful colours.</i></p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_142.png">
+<img src="images/i_142.png" width="100%" alt="LE SPORTMAN"/></a>
+<h3>"LE SPORTMAN"</h3>
+<p>"Hi!! Hi!! Stop ze chasse! I tomble&mdash;I faloff! <i>Stop ze fox!</i>"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_143.png">
+<img src="images/i_143.png" width="100%" alt="Too sleepy"/></a>
+<h3>"CUBBING EVENTS CAST THEIR SHADOWS"</h3>
+<p><i>Half-awakened un-enthusiastic Sportsman</i> (<i>who wished to go out
+cub-hunting, but has entirely changed his mind, drowsily addressing
+rather astonished burglar</i>.) "Awright, old boy. Can't come with you this
+morning. Too sleepy."</p>
+<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[<i>Turns round and resumes deep sleep where he left off.</i>]</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_144.png">
+<img src="images/i_144.png" width="100%" alt="A BROKEN PLEDGE"/></a>
+<h3>A BROKEN PLEDGE</h3>
+<p><i>Sportsman on bank</i> (<i>to Friend in brook</i>.) "Hallo, Thompson, is that you?
+Why, I thought you had joined the 'No Drinks in between Meals' Party!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3>"<span class="smcap">In the Dim and Distant Future</span>"</h3>
+
+<p><i>First Sportsman</i> (<i>cantering along easily</i>.) "I say, we shall see you at
+dinner on the nineteenth, shan't we?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Second Ditto</i> (<i>whose horse is very fresh, and bolting with him</i>.) "If
+the beast goes on like this&mdash;hanged if you'll ever see me again."</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_145.png">
+<img src="images/i_145.png" width="100%" alt="LIFE IN THE OLD DOG YET"/></a>
+<h3>THERE'S LIFE IN THE OLD DOG YET</h3>
+<p><i>Ex-M.F.H.</i> (<i>eighty-nine and paralytic</i>.) "Fora-a-d! Fora-a-d!
+Fora-a-a-d!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_146.png">
+<img src="images/i_146.png" width="100%" alt="Don't ride over the line"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>making a cast for the line of the fox, near a
+railway</i>.) "Hold hard, please! Don't ride over the line!"</p>
+<p><i>Would-be Thrusters.</i> "Oh, no, we won't. There's a bridge farther on!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_147.png">
+<img src="images/i_147.png" width="100%" alt="it's a new hare"/></a>
+<h3>"RANK BLASPHEMY"</h3>
+<p><i>Squire Oldboy, M.H.</i> (<i>enjoying a long and very slow hunt</i>.) "There she
+goes! Afraid it's a new hare though."</p>
+<p><i>Bored Sportsman.</i> "How lucky! The other must be getting doosid old."</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_148.png">
+<img src="images/i_148.png" width="100%" alt="Seen the fox"/></a>
+<h3>A CHECK</h3>
+<p><i>Huntsman.</i> "Seen the fox, my boy?"</p>
+<p><i>Boy.</i> "No, I ain't!"</p>
+<p><i>Huntsman.</i> "Then, what are you hollarin' for?"</p>
+<p><i>Boy</i> (<i>who has been scaring rooks</i>.) "'Cos I'm paid for it!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_149.png">
+<img src="images/i_149.png" width="100%" alt="EASIER SAID THAN DONE"/></a>
+<h3>EASIER SAID THAN DONE</h3>
+<p><i>Sixteen-stone Sportsman (who has been nearly put down from a "rotten"
+landing, to little Bricks, 9st. 2lb.)</i>: "Do you mind putting me back in
+the saddle, sir?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_150.png">
+<img src="images/i_150.png" width="100%" alt="TROUBLES OF AN M.F.H."/></a>
+<h3>THE TROUBLES OF AN M.F.H.</h3>
+<p><i>M.F.H.</i> (<i>to stranger, who is violently gesticulating to hounds</i>.) "When
+you have done <i>feeding your chickens</i>, sir, perhaps you will allow me to
+hunt my hounds!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_151.png">
+<img src="images/i_151.png" width="100%" alt="Mr. Tinkler and his inamorata"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p>Nobody was near hounds in the big wood when they pulled
+down the cub except Mr. Tinkler and his inamorata. He rashly volunteers
+to secure the brush for her!</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_152.png">
+<img src="images/i_152.png" width="100%" alt="What a beastly day"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p>"Morning, Tom. What a beastly day!"</p>
+<p>"It ain't a day, sir. I call it an interval between two bloomin'
+nights!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_153.png">
+<img src="images/i_153.png" width="100%" alt="A BAD LOOK-OUT"/></a>
+<h3>A BAD LOOK-OUT</h3>
+<p><i>Sportsman</i> (<i>to Friend whom he has mounted</i>.) "For goodness' sake, old
+chap, don't let her put you down! She's certain to savage you!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_154.png">
+<img src="images/i_154.png" width="100%" alt="ECHOES OF THE CHASE"/></a>
+<h3>ECHOES OF THE CHASE</h3>
+<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>who has been having a very bad ride</i>.) "Either master wants
+some new 'orses or a new 'untsman!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_155.png">
+<img src="images/i_155.png" width="100%" alt="HINTS ON HUNTING"/></a>
+<h3>HINTS ON HUNTING</h3>
+<p>Always see that your bridle reins are sound. There are times when they
+have a considerable strain on 'em!</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_156.png">
+<img src="images/i_156.png" width="100%" alt="Extraordinary position"/></a>
+<h3>SO FAR, NO FARTHER</h3>
+<p>Extraordinary position assumed by Mr. Snoodle on the sudden and
+unexpected refusal of his horse.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_157.png">
+<img src="images/i_157.png" width="100%" alt="HARD LUCK"/></a>
+<h3>HARD LUCK</h3>
+<p><i>Small Child</i> (<i>to Mr. Sparkin, who had come out at an unusually early
+hour in order to meet his inamorata at the guide-post, and pilot her out
+cub-hunting</i>.) "I was to tell you she has such a bad cold she couldn't
+come. But I'm going with you instead, if you promise to take care of me.
+I'm her cousin, you know!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_158.png">
+<img src="images/i_158.png" width="100%" alt="A PSEUDO-THRUSTER"/></a>
+<h3>A PSEUDO-THRUSTER</h3>
+<p><i>Farmer</i> (<i>to Sportsman, returning from the chase</i>.) "Beg pardon, sir, but
+ain't you the gent that broke down that there gate of mine this
+morning?"</p>
+<p><i>Mr. Noodel</i> (<i>who never by any chance jumps anything&mdash;frightfully
+pleased</i>.) "Er&mdash;did I? Well, how much is the damage?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_159.png">
+<img src="images/i_159.png" width="100%" alt="THE WATER TEST"/></a>
+<h3>THE WATER TEST</h3>
+<p><i>Whip</i> (<i>bringing on tail hounds, in the rear of the field</i>.) "Hulloah!
+Who've you got there?"</p>
+<p><i>Runner</i> (<i>who has just assisted sportsman out of a muddy ditch</i>.) "Dunno.
+Can't tell till we've washed 'im down a bit!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_160.png">
+<img src="images/i_160.png" width="100%" alt="MOST UNFORTUNATE"/></a>
+<h3>MOST UNFORTUNATE</h3>
+<p>Horrible catastrophe which happened to Captain Fussey (our ladies' man)
+on his arrival at the opening meet. New coat, new boots, new horse, new
+everything! Hard luck!</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_161.png">
+<img src="images/i_161.png" width="100%" alt="A SEVERE TEST"/></a>
+<h3>A SEVERE TEST</h3>
+<p><i>Miss Sally</i> (<i>who has just taken off her mackintosh&mdash;to ardent admirer</i>.)
+"Look! they're away! Do just stuff this thing into your pocket. I'm sure
+I shan't want it again!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[Pg 1611]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_162.png">
+<img src="images/i_162.png" width="100%" alt="STUDY IN EXPRESSION"/></a>
+<h3>A STUDY IN EXPRESSION</h3>
+<p><i>Irate M.F.H.</i> (<i>who has had half an hour in the big gorse trying to get a
+faint-hearted fox away, galloping to "holloa" on the far side of
+covert</i>.) "Confound you and your pony, sir! Get out of my way!"</p>
+<blockquote><p><i>Little Binks, who has been trying to keep out of people's way all day,
+thinks he can quite understand the feelings of the hunted fox.</i></p></blockquote>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>OUR HUNT "POINT TO POINT"</h2>
+
+<p>Last week our Point to Point steeplechase came off. So did several of
+the riders: this merely <i>par parenth&egrave;se</i>. I offered to mark out the
+course, and, as I intended to escape the dread ordeal of riding by
+scratching my horse at the last moment, I thought it would be great fun
+to choose a very stiff, not to say bloodthirsty, line. Awful grumbling
+on the part of those unhappy ones who were to ride. Just as the bell
+rang for saddling, Captain Sproozer, ready dressed for the fray, came up
+to me with very long face, and said, "Beastly line this, you know,
+Phunker. I call it much too stiff."</p>
+
+<p>I smiled in pitying and superior manner. "Think so, my dear Sproozer? My
+horse can't run, worse luck, but I only wish <i>I</i> were going to have the
+gallop over it."</p>
+
+<p>"So you shall, then!" cried a rasping voice, suddenly, from behind me.
+Sir Hercules<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</a></span> Blizzard was the speaker, an awful man with an awful
+temper. "So you shall. My idiot of a jockey broke his collar-bone trying
+to jump one of the fences on this confounded course of yours to-day, so,
+as I am without a rider, you shall ride my mare Dinah."</p>
+
+<p>Swallowed lump in my throat as I thanked him for his offer, but thought
+I had better decline, as I didn't know the mare, and besides that, I&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! all right, I know what you are going to say: that you're not much
+good on a horse"&mdash;(nothing of the sort! I was not going to say any such
+thing, confound the man!) "Of course, I know all that, and that you're
+not much of a rider; but I can't help myself now. It's too late to get a
+decent horseman, so I shall have to make shift with you."</p>
+
+<p>Deuced condescending of him. I made a feeble effort to escape, and would
+cheerfully have paid a hundred pounds for the chance of doing so. Phil
+Poundaway, great friend of mine, came up and said (sympathetically, as I
+thought at first), "I should think you'd prefer to get off it, wouldn't
+you, Phunker?"</p><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Thought he would volunteer in my place, so was perfectly frank with him.
+"My dear Phil, I'd give a hundred to get off&mdash;&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Ah! you will, I expect, at the first fence, without paying the money!"
+he grinned, as he turned away.</p>
+
+<p>Murder was in my heart at that moment. I got on Dinah, and, feeling
+like death, rode down to the starting-post. Thoughts of a misspent youth, of
+home and friends and things, came o'er me. I seemed once more to see
+the little rose-covered porch, the&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"What on earth are you mooning about?" thundered the Blizzardian voice
+in my ear. "Take hold of her head tighter than that, or you'll be off!"</p>
+
+<p>The next moment the starter yelled "Go!" and away, like a whirlwind, we
+sped across the first field, towards a huge, thick blackthorn fence, the
+one I had thought to see such fun with. Fun! I never felt less funny in
+my life, as we approached it at the rate of two thousand miles an hour!
+The mare jumped high, but I jumped much higher, and seemed for a brief
+moment to be soaring through the blue empyrean. Somehow, the mare
+managed to evade me on the return journey earthwards, and, instead of
+alighting on the saddle, I found myself "sitting on the floor." A
+howl&mdash;it might have been of sympathy, but it didn't sound quite like
+that&mdash;arose from the crowd, and then I thought that I would go home on
+foot, instead of returning to explain matters to Sir Hercules. As a
+matter of fact, I don't much care for associating with old Blizzard, at
+all events, not just now.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_164.png">
+<img src="images/i_164.png" width="100%" alt="AMENITIES OF SPORT"/></a>
+<h3>AMENITIES OF SPORT</h3>
+<p><i>Huntsman</i> (<i>to Whip, sent forward for a view</i>.) "Haven't ye seen him,
+Tom?"</p>
+<p><i>Whip.</i> "No, sir."</p>
+<p><i>Huntsman.</i> "If he'd been in a pint pot, ye jolly soon would!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_165.png">
+<img src="images/i_165.png" width="100%" alt="HIS LITTLE DODGE"/></a>
+<h3>HIS LITTLE DODGE</h3>
+<p><i>First Hunting Man</i> (<i>having observed the ticket with "K" on it in his
+friend's hat</i>.) "I didn't know that old gee of yours was a kicker. He
+looks quiet enough."</p>
+<p><i>Second Hunting Man.</i> "Well, he isn't really. I only wear the "K" to
+make people give me more room!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_167.png">
+<img src="images/i_167.png" width="100%" alt="TRUE COURAGE"/></a>
+<h3>TRUE COURAGE</h3>
+<p><i>Whip.</i> "Hi, sir! Keep back! The fox may break covert there!"</p>
+<p><i>Foreigner.</i> "Bah! I fear him not&mdash;your fox."</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_168.png">
+<img src="images/i_168.png" width="100%" alt="FORCE OF HABIT"/></a>
+<h3>THE FORCE OF HABIT</h3>
+<p><i>Spanner</i> (<i>a great cyclist, whose horse has been startled by man on
+covert hack</i>.) "Hi! confound you! Why the deuce don't you sound your
+bell!!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_170.png">
+<img src="images/i_170.png" width="100%" alt="CART WITHOUT THE HORSE"/></a>
+<h3>"THE CART WITHOUT THE HORSE"</h3>
+<p>Scene&mdash;<i>Cub-hunting.</i> Time&mdash;<i>About one o'clock.</i></p>
+<p><i>Lady.</i> "Well, Count, what have you lost? Your lunch?"</p>
+<p><i>The Count</i> (<i>who breakfasted some time before six o'clock, a.m.</i>.) "No,
+no! Donner und wetter! I have him, but I have lost my teeth!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_171.png">
+<img src="images/i_171.png" width="100%" alt="HORRIBLE PREDICAMENT"/></a>
+<h3>HORRIBLE PREDICAMENT</h3>
+<p><i>Gent</i> (<i>on mettlesome hireling</i>.) "'Elp! 'Elp! Somebody stop 'im! 'E's
+going to jump, and I can't!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_172.png">
+<img src="images/i_172.png" width="100%" alt="MOST EMBARRASSING"/></a>
+<h3>MOST EMBARRASSING</h3>
+<p><i>Lady (hiding behind bush, to Mr. Spoodle, who has captured her horse)</i>.
+"Oh, thank you so much! But I hope to goodness you have found my skirt
+as well!"</p>
+<p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[<i>Nice position for Mr. Spoodle, who is very bashful, and has seen
+nothing of the garment</i>.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_173.png">
+<img src="images/i_173.png" width="100%" alt="Very bad scent"/></a>
+<h3>"DO NOT SPEAK TO THE MAN AT THE WHEEL"</h3>
+<p><i>'Arry</i> (<i>puffing a "twopenny smoke," to huntsman, making unsuccessful
+cast</i>.) "Very bad scent."</p>
+<p><i>Huntsman.</i> "Shockin'! Smells like burnin' seaweed!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_174.png">
+<img src="images/i_174.png" width="100%" alt="OBEYING ORDERS"/></a>
+<h3>OBEYING ORDERS</h3>
+<p>"It's all very well for master to say 'Keep close to Miss Vera,
+Miles'&mdash;but I want to know 'oo's going to take Miles to the
+'orsepital?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_175.png">
+<img src="images/i_175.png" width="100%" alt="GALLANTRY REWARDED"/></a>
+<h3>GALLANTRY REWARDED</h3>
+<p><i>Lady</i> (<i>having had a fall at a brook, and come out the wrong side,&mdash;to
+stranger who has caught her horse</i>.) "Oh, I'm <i>so</i> much obliged to you!
+Now, do you mind just bringing him over?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_176.png">
+<img src="images/i_176.png" width="100%" alt="JUST OFF"/></a>
+<h3>JUST OFF</h3>
+<p>"Ride her on the snaffle, Tom! Don't ride her on the curb!"</p>
+<p>"Hang your curb and snaffle! I've enough to do to <i>ride her on the
+saddle!</i>"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60%">
+<a href="images/i_177.png">
+<img src="images/i_177.png" width="100%" alt="No more trouble from wire"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p>A Suggestion: No more trouble from wire, damage to
+fences, etc.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_178.png">
+<img src="images/i_178.png" width="100%" alt="TRIALS OF AN M.F.H."/></a>
+<h3>THE TRIALS OF AN M.F.H.</h3>
+<p><i>M.F.H.</i> (<i>to misguided enthusiast who has been cheering hounds on a bad
+scent</i>.) "Now then! Am I going to hunt the hounds or are you?"</p>
+<p><i>Enthusiast</i> (<i>sweetly</i>.) "Just as you please, m'lord, just as you
+please."</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_179.png">
+<img src="images/i_179.png" width="100%" alt="OFF HIS GUARD"/></a>
+<h3>OFF HIS GUARD</h3>
+<p><i>Farmer</i> (<i>just coming up</i>.) "Young gentleman riding your brown horse, my
+lord, had nasty accident a field or two back. Barbed wire&mdash;very ugly
+cuts!"</p>
+<p><i>My Lord.</i> "Tut&mdash;tut&mdash;tut! Dear&mdash;dear&mdash;dear! Not the horse, I hope?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_180.png">
+<img src="images/i_180.png" width="100%" alt="BON VOYAGE"/></a>
+<h3>"BON VOYAGE!"</h3>
+<p><i>Mossu (shot into a nice soft loam), exultingly.</i> "A&mdash;ha&mdash;a! I am safe
+o-v&egrave;re! Now it is your turn, Meester Timbre Jompre! Come on, sare!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_181.png">
+<img src="images/i_181.png" width="100%" alt="ON THE WAY HOME"/></a>
+<h3>ON THE WAY HOME FROM THE EXMOOR HUNT&mdash;NO KILL</h3>
+<p><i>Fair Huntress.</i> "What a pity the hounds let that splendid stag get
+away, Colonel, wasn't it?"</p>
+<p><i>Colonel.</i> "Pity! Ha, if they'd only taken my advice we should have been
+up with him now, instead of being miles away on the wrong track!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_182.png">
+<img src="images/i_182.png" width="100%" alt="I lose my horse"/></a>
+<br /><br />
+<p><i>Distinguished Foreigner</i> (<i>to good Samaritan who has
+caught his horse</i>.) "Merci bien, monsieur! You save me much trouble.
+Before, I lose my horse&mdash;I lose him altogether, and I must put him in
+the newspaper!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_183.png">
+<img src="images/i_183.png" width="100%" alt="You shall not escape"/></a>
+<h3>VIVE LA CHASSE!</h3>
+<p><i>Foreign Visitor</i> (<i>an enthusiastic "sportsman," viewing fox attempting to
+break</i>.) "A-h-h-h! Halte-la! Halte! <i>You shall not escape!</i>"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_184.png">
+<img src="images/i_184.png" width="100%" alt="RATHER TOO MUCH"/></a>
+<h3>RATHER TOO MUCH</h3>
+<p><i>Lady</i> (<i>having just cannoned Stranger into brook</i>.) "Oh, I'm <i>so</i> sorry I
+bumped you! Would you mind going in again for my hat?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[Pg 184]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>THE END OF THE HUNTING SEASON</h2>
+
+<center>(<i>By Our Own Novice</i>)</center>
+<br /><br />
+<div class="poem w32"><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">Good-bye to the season! E'en gluttons</p>
+<p class="i2">Have had quite enough of the game,</p>
+<p class="i0">And if we returned to our muttons,</p>
+<p class="i2">Our horses are laid up and lame.</p>
+<p class="i0">We hunted straight on through the winter,</p>
+<p class="i2">And never were stopped by the frost,</p>
+<p class="i0">As I know right well from each splinter</p>
+<p class="i2">Of bone that my poor limbs have lost.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">Good-bye to the season! The "croppers"</p>
+<p class="i2">I got where the fences were tall,</p>
+<p class="i0">And Oh the immaculate "toppers"</p>
+<p class="i2">That always were crushed by my fall.</p>
+<p class="i0">Don't think though that I'm so stout-hearted</p>
+<p class="i2">As e'er to jump hedges or dikes,</p>
+<p class="i0">It's simply that after we've started,</p>
+<p class="i2">My "gee" gallivants as it likes.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">In vain I put on natty breeches,</p>
+<p class="i2">And tops like Meltonian swell,</p>
+<p class="i0">It ends in the blessed old ditches,</p>
+<p class="i2">I know like the Clubs in Pall Mall.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</a></span></p>
+<p class="i0">And when from a "gee" that's unruly</p>
+<p class="i2">I fall with a terrible jar,</p>
+<p class="i0">I know that old <i>Jorrocks</i> spoke truly,</p>
+<p class="i2">And hunting's "the image of war."</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">And never for me "<i>Fair Diana</i>"</p>
+<p class="i2">Shall smile as we know that she can,</p>
+<p class="i0">With looks that are sweeter than manna,</p>
+<p class="i2">On many a fortunate man.</p>
+<p class="i0">It adds to the pangs that I suffer,</p>
+<p class="i2">When thrown at a fence in her track,</p>
+<p class="i0">To hear her "Ridiculous duffer!"</p>
+<p class="i2">When jumping slap over my back.</p>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i0">I've fractured my ulnar, I'm aching</p>
+<p class="i2">Where over my ribs my horse rolled;</p>
+<p class="i0">Egad! the "Old Berkeley" is making</p>
+<p class="i2">One man feel uncommonly old.</p>
+<p class="i0">Good-bye to the season! I'm shattered</p>
+<p class="i2">And damaged in figure and face;</p>
+<p class="i0">But thankful to find I'm not scattered</p>
+<p class="i2">In pieces all over the place!</p>
+</div></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_186.png">
+<img src="images/i_186.png" width="100%" alt="HINTS TO BEGINNERS"/></a>
+<h3>HINTS TO BEGINNERS</h3>
+<p>Good hands will often make the most confirmed refuser jump.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_187.png">
+<img src="images/i_187.png" width="100%" alt="TRULY DELIGHTFUL"/></a>
+<h3>TRULY DELIGHTFUL!</h3>
+<p>Galloping down the side of a field covered with mole-hills, on a
+weak-necked horse, with a snaffle bridle, one foot out of your stirrup,
+and a bit of mud in your eye!</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_188.png">
+<img src="images/i_188.png" width="100%" alt="SELF-PRESERVATION"/></a>
+<h3>SELF-PRESERVATION</h3>
+<p><i>Tomlin</i> (<i>who has been mounted by friend</i>.) "It's all very well to shout
+'Loose your reins', but what the deuce <i>am</i> I to hang on to?"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+<br />
+<center><span class="smcap">Seasonable Dish for a Sportsman.</span>&mdash;A plate o' <i>f</i>ox-tail soup.</center>
+<br />
+<hr />
+<br />
+<center><span class="smcap">The Rule of the Hunting-Field.</span>&mdash;Lex Tally-ho-nis.</center>
+<br />
+<hr />
+<br />
+<center><span class="smcap">Fashionable Food for Horses.</span>&mdash;Hay <i>&agrave; la</i> mowed.</center>
+<br />
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 25%">
+<a href="images/i_190.png">
+<img src="images/i_190.png" width="100%" alt="QUOTATIONS GONE WRONG"/></a>
+</div>
+<h3>QUOTATIONS GONE WRONG</h3>
+<div class="poem w32"><div class="stanza">
+<p class="i10">"Life has passed</p>
+<p class="i0">With me but roughly since I heard thee last."</p><br />
+<p class="i14"><i>Cowper.</i></p>
+</div></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[Pg 190]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_191.png">
+<img src="images/i_191.png" width="100%" alt="ALL HER PLAY"/></a>
+<h3>ALL HER PLAY</h3>
+<p><i>Country Gentleman</i> (<i>to nervous man, whom he has mounted</i>). "By Jove,
+old chap, never saw the mare so fresh! Take care you ain't off!"</p>
+<p><i>Nervous Man</i> (<i>heartily</i>). "W&mdash;w&mdash;wish to goodness I were!"</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[Pg 191]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 80%">
+<a href="images/i_192.png">
+<img src="images/i_192.png" width="100%" alt="HINTS TO BEGINNERS"/></a>
+<h3>HINTS TO BEGINNERS</h3>
+<p>Always let your horse see that you are his master.</p>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[Pg 192]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 50%">
+<a href="images/i_193.png">
+<img src="images/i_193.png" width="100%" alt="Mr Punch on horse"/></a>
+</div>
+
+<h3>THE END<br />
+
+<br />BRADBURY, AGNEW, &amp; CO. LD., PRINTERS, LONDON AND TONBRIDGE.</h3>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field, by Various
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@@ -0,0 +1,2705 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field, by Various
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field
+
+Author: Various
+
+Editor: J. A. Hammerton
+
+Illustrator: John Leech and others
+
+Release Date: March 15, 2012 [EBook #39160]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MR. PUNCH IN THE HUNTING FIELD ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Neville Allen, Chris Curnow and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+MR. PUNCH IN THE HUNTING FIELD
+
+PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR
+
+Edited by J. A. HAMMERTON
+
+Designed to provide in a series of volumes, each complete in itself, the
+cream of our national humour, contributed by the masters of comic
+draughtsmanship and the leading wits of the age to "Punch," from its
+beginning in 1841 to the present day.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: DISILLUSIONED
+
+Awful predicament of young Fitz-Brown, who, having undertaken to see a
+young lady safely home after a day with the Seaborough Harriers, has
+lost his way, and has climbed up what he takes to be a sign-post.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MR. PUNCH IN THE HUNTING FIELD
+
+AS PICTURED BY JOHN LEECH, CHARLES KEENE, PHIL MAY, RANDOLPH CALDECOTT,
+L. RAVEN-HILL, G. D. ARMOUR, G. H. JALLAND, ARTHUR HOPKINS,
+REGINALD CLEAVER, CECIL ALDIN, TOM BROWNE, W. L. HODGSON AND OTHERS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+_WITH 173 ILLUSTRATIONS_
+
+PUBLISHED BY ARRANGEMENT WITH THE PROPRIETORS OF "PUNCH"
+
+THE EDUCATIONAL BOOK CO. LTD.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+PUNCH LIBRARY OF HUMOUR
+
+_Twenty-five volumes, crown 8vo, 192 pages fully illustrated_
+
+  LIFE IN LONDON
+  COUNTRY LIFE
+  IN THE HIGHLANDS
+  SCOTTISH HUMOUR
+  IRISH HUMOUR
+  COCKNEY HUMOUR
+  IN SOCIETY
+  AFTER DINNER STORIES
+  IN BOHEMIA
+  AT THE PLAY
+  MR. PUNCH AT HOME
+  ON THE CONTINONG
+  RAILWAY BOOK
+  AT THE SEASIDE
+  MR. PUNCH AFLOAT
+  IN THE HUNTING FIELD
+  MR. PUNCH ON TOUR
+  WITH ROD AND GUN
+  MR. PUNCH AWHEEL
+  BOOK OF SPORTS
+  GOLF STORIES
+  IN WIG AND GOWN
+  ON THE WARPATH
+  BOOK OF LOVE
+  WITH THE CHILDREN
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+EDITOR'S NOTE
+
+[Illustration]
+
+From his earliest days MR. PUNCH has been an enthusiast for the Hunting
+Field. But in this he has only been the faithful recorder of the manners
+of his countrymen, as there is no sport more redolent of "Merrie
+England" than that of the Horse and Hound. At no time in MR. PUNCH'S
+history has he been without an artist who has specialised in the humours
+of the hunt. First it was the inimitable Leech, some of whose drawings
+find a place in the present collection, and then the mantle of the
+sporting artist would seem to have descended to feminine shoulders, as
+Miss Bowers (Mrs. Bowers-Edwards) wore it for some ten years after 1866.
+That lady is also represented in the present work, at pages 49 and 111.
+Later came Mr. G. H. Jalland, many of whose drawings we have chosen for
+inclusion here. Perhaps the most popular of his hunting jokes was that
+of the Frenchman exclaiming, "Stop ze chasse! I tomble, I faloff! _Stop
+ze fox!!!_" (see page 141). To-day, of course, it is Mr. G. D. Armour
+whose pencil is devoted chiefly to illustrating the humorous side of
+hunting; but now, as formerly, most of the eminent artists whose work
+lies usually in other fields, delight at times to find a subject
+associated with the hunt. Thus we are able to present examples of Mr.
+Cecil Aldin and Mr. Raven-Hill in sportive mood, while such celebrities
+of the past as Randolph Caldecott and Phil May are here drawn upon for
+the enriching of this, the first book of hunting humour compiled from
+the abundant chronicles of MR. PUNCH.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: 'ARRY OUT WITH THE 'OUNDS]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MR. PUNCH IN THE HUNTING FIELD
+
+THE HUNTING SEASON
+
+(_By Jorrocks Junior_)
+
+    The season for hunting I see has begun,
+    So adieu for a time to my rod and my gun;
+    And ho! for the fox, be he wild or in bag,
+    As I follow the chase on my high-mettled nag.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "WEATHER PERMITTING,"--MR. PUNCH DRIVES TO THE FIRST
+MEET.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+    I call him high-mettled, but still I must state,
+    He hasn't a habit I always did hate,
+    He doesn't walk sideways, like some "gees" you meet,
+    Who go slantindicularly down the street.
+
+    He's steady and well broken in, for, of course,
+    I can't risk my life on an unbroken horse;
+    You might tie a torpedo or two on behind,
+    And though they exploded that horse wouldn't mind.
+
+    My strong point is costume, and oft I confess
+    I've admired my get-up in a sportsmanlike dress;
+    Though, but for the finish their lustre confers,
+    I would much rather be, I declare, without spurs.
+
+    They look very well as to cover you ride,
+    But I can't keep the things from the animal's side;
+    And the mildest of "gees," I am telling no fibs,
+    Will resent having liberties ta'en with his ribs.
+
+    Then hie to the cover, the dogs are all there,
+    And the horn of the hunter is heard on the air;
+    I've a horn of my own, which in secret I stow,
+    For, oddly enough, they don't like me to blow.
+
+    We'll go round by that gate, my good sir, if you please,
+    I'm one of your sportsmen who rides at his ease;
+    And I don't care to trouble my courser to jump,
+    For whenever he does I fall off in a lump.
+
+    Then haste to the meet! The Old Berkeley shall find,
+    If I don't go precisely as fast as the wind,
+    If they'll give my Bucephalus time to take breath,
+    We shall both of us, sometimes, be in at the death!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A LION IN THE PATH?
+
+Oh dear no! Merely the "_first open day_" after a long frost, and a
+tom-tit has been inconsiderate enough to fly suddenly out of the fence
+on the way to covert!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: TRIALS OF A NOVICE
+
+_Unsympathetic Bystander._ "Taking 'im back to 'is cab, guv'nor?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HOW THE LAST RUN OF THE WOPSHIRE HOUNDS WAS SPOILT.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+PROVERBS FOR THE TIMID HUNTSMAN
+
+_Dressing_
+
+There's no toe without a corn.
+
+If the boot pinches--bear it.
+
+_Breakfast_
+
+A snack in time, saves nine.
+
+Faint hunger never conquered tough beef-steak.
+
+_Mounting_
+
+You can't make a hunter out of a hired hack.
+
+The nearer the ground the safer the seat.
+
+_In the Field_
+
+Take care of the hounds, but the fence may take care of itself.
+
+Too many brooks spoil the sport.
+
+One pair of spurs may bring a horse to the water, but twenty will not
+make him jump.
+
+It is the howl that shows the funk.
+
+Fools break rails for wise men to go over.
+
+Snobs and their saddles are soon parted.
+
+_At Luncheon_
+
+A flask in the hand is worth a cask in the vault.
+
+Cut your sandwiches according to your stomach.
+
+_Coming Home_
+
+The nearer the home, the harder the seat.
+
+_Bed-time_
+
+It's a heavy sleep that has no turning.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: REALLY PLEASANT!
+
+Six miles from home, horse dead lame, awfully tender feet, and horribly
+tight boots.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "Now, if I jump it, I shall certainly fall off; and if I
+dismount to open it, I shall never get on again."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: This is Jones, who thought to slip down by the rail early
+in the morning, and have a gallop with the fox hounds. On looking out of
+the window, he finds it is a clear frosty morning. He sees a small boy
+sliding--actually sliding on the pavement opposite!! and--doesn't he
+hate that boy--and doesn't he say it is a beastly climate!!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: NEW SPORTING DICTIONARY OF FAMILIAR LATIN PHRASES.
+
+(1) Labour omnia vincit. (Labor overcomes everything.)]
+
+[Illustration: (2) Ars est celare artem. "Apres vous, mademoiselle!"]
+
+[Illustration: (3) Exeunt Omnes. (They all go off.)]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A GENUINE SPORTSWOMAN
+
+_Mrs. Shodditon_ (_to Captain Forrard, on a cub-hunting morning_). "I do
+hope you'll have good sport, and find plenty of foxes."
+
+_Captain Forrard._ "Hope so. By the way, how is that beautiful collie of
+yours that I admired so much?"
+
+_Mrs. Shodditon._ "Oh! Fanny! poor dear! Our keeper shot it by mistake
+for a fox!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Short-sighted Party_ (_thrown earlier, after weary tramp,
+thinks he sees mount on ploughed upland, and approaches bush
+coaxingly_). "Whoa, my beauty! Steady, my gal, steady then," &c.]
+
+[Illustration: _Same Short-sighted Party arrived at thornbush, discovers
+error, and reflects_--"Five miles from station, perhaps
+ten--fifty miles from town, missed express, missed dinner, lost mount,
+wet through, getting dusk, and, by the way, where am I?"
+    [_Left reflecting_.
+
+]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Gorgeous Stranger._ "I say, Huntsman, would you mind
+blowing your horn two or three times? I want my fellow, who has my
+flask, to know where we are, don't you know!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+DIARY OF THE MODERN HUNT SECRETARY
+
+     "Capping all non-subscribers is pretty generally resorted to, this
+     season, not only in the shires, but also with provincial
+     packs."--_Daily Press._]
+
+_Monday._--Splendid gallop after non-subscriber. Spotted the quarry on
+good-looking chestnut, whilst we were drawing big covert. Edged my horse
+over in his direction, but non-subscriber very wary--think he must have
+known my face as "collector of tolls." Retired again to far side of
+spinney and disguised myself in pair of false whiskers, which I always
+keep for these occasions. Craftily sidled up, and finally got within
+speaking distance, under cover of the whiskers, which effectually masked
+my battery. "Beg pardon, sir," I began, lifting my hat, "but I don't
+think I have the pleasure of knowing your name as a subscri----" But he
+was off like a shot. Went away over a nice line of country, all grass,
+and a good sound take-off to most of the fences. Non-subscriber had got
+away with about a three lengths lead of me, and that interval was fairly
+maintained for the first mile and a half of the race. Then, felt most
+annoyed to see that my quarry somewhat gained on me as we left the
+pasture land and went across a holding piece of plough. Over a stiff
+post and rails, and on again, across some light fallow, towards a big
+dry ditch. The hunted one put his horse resolutely at it--must say he
+rode very straight, but what _won't_ men do to avoid "parting?"--horse
+jumped short and disappeared from view together with his rider. Next
+moment I had also come a cropper at ditch, and rolled down on top of my
+prey. "Excuse me," I said, taking out my pocket-book and struggling to
+my knees in six inches of mud, "but when you rather abruptly started
+away from covertside, I was just about to remark that I did not think
+you were a subscriber, and that I should have much pleasure in taking
+the customary 'cap'--thank you." And he paid up quite meekly. We agreed,
+as we rode back together, in the direction in which we imagined hounds
+to be, that even if they had got away with a good fox, the field would
+not be likely to have had so smart a gallop as he and I had already
+enjoyed. Lost my day's hunting, of course.
+
+_Thursday._--Got away after another non-subscriber, led him over four
+fields, after which he ran me out of sight. Lost my day's hunting again,
+but was highly commended by M.F.H. for my zeal.
+
+_Saturday._--M.F.H. pointed out five non-subscribers, and I at once
+started off to "cap" them. Lost another day with hounds--shall send in
+my resignation.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Gent_ (_who has just executed a double somersault and is
+somewhat dazed_). "Now where the dickens has that horse gone to?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: ON EXMOOR
+
+_Gent_ (_very excited after his first gallop with staghounds_). "Hi,
+mister, don't let the dogs maul 'im, and I'll take the 'aunch at a bob a
+pound!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: COOKED ACCOUNTS
+
+_Extract from old Fitzbadly's letter to a friend, describing a run in
+the Midlands:_--"I was well forward at the brook, but lost my hat, and
+had to dismount."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "Hup--yer beast!"]
+
+[Illustration: "Hup!!--yer brute!"]
+
+[Illustration: "Hup!!!--yer infernal, confounded ---- Hover!!!"]
+
+[Illustration: And "Hover" it was!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: SOMETHING LIKE A NOSE.
+
+_Whip_ (_after galloping half a mile to a holloa_). "Where did you see
+him?"
+
+_Yokel._ "Can't zay as 'ow I 'zactly _zeed_ 'un, but I think I _smelled_
+'un!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Second Horseman No. 1._ "Ulloah, Danny, what are you
+lookin' for?"
+
+_Second Horseman No. 2._ "Perkisites. Guv'nor's just been over 'ere. 'E
+jumps so much 'igher than 'is 'orse, there's always some small change or
+summat to be picked up!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE NEW NIMROD
+
+     [Mr. Pat O'Brien, M.P., was first in at the death on one occasion
+     with the Meath Hounds on his bicycle, and was presented with the
+     brush.]
+
+Air--"_The Hunting Day_"
+
+      "What a fine hunting day"--
+      'Tis an old-fashioned lay
+    That I'll change to an up-to-date pome;
+      Old stagers may swear
+      That the pace isn't fair,
+    But they're left far behind us at home!
+    See cyclists and bikes on their way,
+    And scorchers their prowess display;
+      Let us join the glad throng
+      That goes wheeling along,
+    And we'll all go a-hunting to-day!
+
+      New Nimrods exclaim,
+      "Timber-topping" is tame,
+    And "bull-finches" simply child's play;
+      And they don't care a jot
+      For a gallop or trot,
+    Though they _will_ go a-hunting to-day.
+    There's a fox made of clockwork, they say
+    They'll wind him and get him away;
+      He runs with a rush
+      On rails with his brush,
+    So we must go and chase him to-day.
+
+      We've abolished the sounds
+      Of the horn and the hounds--
+    'Tis the bicycle squeaker that squeals
+      And the pack has been stuffed,
+      Or sent to old Cruft,
+    Now the huntsmen have taken to wheels!
+    Hairy country no more we essay,
+    Five bars, too, no longer dismay,
+      For we stick to the roads
+      In the latest of modes,
+    So we'll bike after Reynard to-day!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE LANGUAGE OF SPORT.
+
+"Where the----! What the----!! Who the----!!! Why the----!!!!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: COMFORTING, VERY!
+
+_Sportsman (who has mounted friend on bolting mare) shouts._ "You're all
+right, old chap! She's never been known to refuse water, and swims like
+a fish!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Old Stubbles_ (_having pounded the swells_). "Aw--haw----!
+laugh away, but who be the roight side o' the fence, masters?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: CUB HUNTING
+
+1. "Ah, my boys," said Percy Johnson, "give me a good old hurry and
+scurry--Heigh O! gee whoa!--over the downs and through the brushwood
+after the cubs. So, early in the morning as you like. What can be more
+exhilarating?"
+
+2. So, in happy anticipation of the morrow's meet, he retired.]
+
+[Illustration: 3. Later, at 4 a.m., the butler came to rouse him. "Sir!"
+A pause. "Sir, th' 'osses be very nigh ready!" Uncertain voice from
+within--"Eh? good-night! Remember to call me early in the morning!"
+
+4. Snoring resumed _in infinitum_. Still, Percy looked rather sheepish
+later on, when the others pretended they had missed him on the road, and
+inquired whether he had found the morning as exhilarating as he had
+expected.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MY LITTLE BROWN MARE
+
+(_A Song for the commencement of the Hunting Season_)
+
+    She's rather too lean but her head's a large size,
+    And she hasn't the average number of eyes;
+    Her hind legs are not what you'd call a good pair,
+    And she's broken both knees, has my little brown mare.
+
+    You can find some amusement in counting each rib,
+    And she bites when she's hungry like mad at her crib;
+    When viewed from behind she seems all on the square,
+    She's quite a Freemason--my little brown mare.
+
+    Her paces are rather too fast, I suppose,
+    For she often comes down on her fine Roman nose,
+    And the way she takes fences makes hunting men stare,
+    For she backs through the gaps does my little brown mare.
+
+    She has curbs on her hocks and no hair on her knees;
+    She has splints and has spavins wherever you please?
+    Her neck, like a vulture's, is horribly bare,
+    But still she's a beauty, my little brown mare.
+
+    She owns an aversion to windmills and ricks,
+    When passing a waggon she lies down and kicks;
+    And the clothes of her groom she'll persistently tear--
+    But still she's no vice has my little brown mare.
+
+    When turned down to grass she oft strays out of bounds;
+    She always was famous for snapping at hounds;
+    And even the baby has learnt to beware
+    The too playful bite of my little brown mare.
+
+    She prances like mad and she jumps like a flea,
+    And her waltz to a brass band is something to see:
+    No circus had ever a horse, I declare,
+    That could go through the hoops like my little brown mare.
+
+    I mount her but seldom--in fact, to be plain,
+    Like the Frenchman, when hunting I "do not remain:"
+    Since I've only one neck it would hardly be fair
+    To risk it in riding my little brown mare!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: TROUBLES OF A WOULD-BE SPORTSMAN
+
+_Huntsman_ (_to W.B.S._). "Just 'op across, would ye, sir, and turn
+those 'ounds to me, please."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: RESPICE FINEM
+
+_Excited Shepherd_ (_to careful Sportsman, inspecting fence with slight
+drop_). "Come on, sir! All right! Anywhere 'ere!"
+
+_Careful Sportsman._ "All very fine! You want to give me a fall, and get
+half-a-crown for catching my horse!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "WEEDS"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "'WARE WIRE!"
+
+"Hallo, Jack! What's up?"
+
+"Don' know! I'm not!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MISPLACED ENERGY
+
+_Huntsman_ (_seeking a beaten fox_). "Now then, have you seen anything
+of him?"
+
+_Cockney Sportsman_ (_immensely pleased with himself_). "Well, rather!
+Why, I've just driven him into this drain for you!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "WHILE YOU WAIT"
+
+"Here, my good man, just pull those rails down. Be as quick as you can!"
+
+"Take 'em down, miss! It'll be a good four hours' job, for I've been all
+the mornin' a-puttin' of 'em up!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: ECHOES OF THE CHASE. BOXING DAY
+
+_Holiday Sportsman_ (_to Whip, who has been hollering_). "Where's the
+fox?"
+
+_Whip._ "Gone away, of course."
+
+_H. S._ "Gone away! Wotcher makin' all that noise for, then? I thought
+you'd caught 'im!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: EASILY SATISFIED
+
+_Gent_ (_who all but dissolved partnership at the last fence_). "Thank
+goodness I've got hold of the reins again! If I could but get my foot
+into that confounded stirrup, I should be all right!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A Nice Prospect
+
+_Host_ (_to Perks, an indifferent horseman, who has come down for the
+hunting_). "Now, look here, Perks, old chap, as you're a light weight,
+I'll get you to ride this young mare of mine. You see, I want to get her
+qualified for our Hunt Cup, and she's not up to my weight, or I'd ride
+her myself. Perhaps I'd better tell you she hasn't been ridden to hounds
+before, so she's sure to be a bit nervous at first; and mind you steady
+her at the jumps, as she's apt to rush them; and I wouldn't take her too
+near other people, as she has a nasty temper, and knows how to use her
+heels; and, whatever you do, don't let her get you down, or she'll tear
+you to pieces. The last man that rode her is in hospital now. But keep
+your eye on her, and remember what I've said, and you'll be all right!"
+
+    [_Consternation of Perks_
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+'ARRY ON 'ORSEBACK
+
+    Our 'Arry goes 'unting and sings with a will,
+    "The 'orn of the 'unter is 'eard on the 'ill:"
+    And oft, when a saddle looks terribly bare,
+    The 'eels of our 'Arry are seen in the air!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: 'W. STANDS FOR WIRE'
+
+"Hulloah, Jarge! Been puttin' up some wire to keep the fox-hunter away?"
+
+"Noa, I b'ain't put up no wire; but the 'unt they sends me a lot o' them
+boards with 'W' on um, so I just stuck 'em up all round the land, and
+they never comes nigh o' me now!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE HUNTING SEASON
+
+_Rector._ "Is that the parcels post, James? He's early this morning,
+isn't he?" (_Noise without, baying of dogs, &c._) "What's all this----"
+
+_James_ (_excited_). "Yes, sir. Postman says as how the young 'ounds, a
+comin' back from cubbin', found 'im near the kennels, and runned 'im all
+the way 'ere. They was close on 'im when he got in! Thinks it was a
+packet o' red 'errins in the bag, sir! I see the run from the pantry
+window"--(_with enthusiasm_)--"a beautiful ten minutes' bu'st, sir!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "Duck, you fool! Duck!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+HUNTING "DAY BY DAY"
+
+"The Mudsquashington Foxhounds had a good day's sport from Wotsisname
+Coverts (which were laid for a large number). They found in Thingamy
+Woods, rattled him round the Osier Beds, and then through the Gorse,
+just above Sumware. Leaving this and turning left-handed, he ran on as
+far as Sumotherplace, where he finally got to ground. Amongst the
+numerous field were Lord Foozle and Lady Frump, Messrs. Borkins,
+Poshbury, and Tomkyn-Smith."[A]
+
+[Footnote A: Half a dozen similar paragraphs cut out as being too
+exciting for the average reader's brain to bear.--ED.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+AT MELTON
+
+_First Sportsman._ "That crock of yours seems to be a bit of a
+songster."
+
+_Second Sportsman._ "Yes, he has always been like that since I lent him
+to a well-known English tenor."
+
+_First Sportsman_ (_drily_). "You should have taken him in exchange."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A NICE BEGINNING.
+
+The above is not a French bull-fight, but merely the unpleasant
+adventure Mr. Jopling experienced on our opening day, when a skittish
+Alderney crossed him at the first fence.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: 'ARRY ON 'ORSEBACK
+
+_'Arry_ (_in extremities_). "Well, gi' _me_ a _bike_!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: CONVENIENCE OF A LIGHT-WEIGHT GROOM
+
+_Miss Ethel._ "Now, sit tight this time, Charles. How could you be so
+stupid as to let him go?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Voice from the ditch._ "Don't jump here!"
+
+_Irish Huntsman._ "And what would ye be after down there?
+Wather-cresses?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+RATHER
+
+"Is fox-hunting dangerous?" asks one of our daily papers. A fox informs
+us that it has its risks.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Rough Rider_ (_to old Creeper, who will not let his
+horse jump_). "Now then, gov'nor, if you are quite sure you can't get
+under it, perhaps you'll let me 'ave a turn!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+PROOF POSITIVE
+
+_Podson_ (_lately returned from abroad_). "Well, I hear you've been
+having a capital season, Thruster."
+
+_Thruster._ "Oh, rippin'! Why, I've had both collar-bones broken, left
+wrist sprained, and haven't got a sound horse left in my string!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: INEXPRESSIBLE
+
+_Master Jack_ (_son of M.F.H., much upset by hard weather_). "Go skating
+with you! Not if I know it. May be all very well for you women and those
+curate chaps--but we hunting men, by George!!!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+BY THE COVERT SIDE
+
+_Fred_ (_a notorious funk_). "Bai Jove! Jack, I'm afraid I've lost my
+nerve this season!"
+
+_Jack._ "Have you? Doosid sorry for the poor beggar who finds it!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Elderly Sportsman._ "I wonder they don't have that place
+stopped. Why, I remember running a fox to ground there twenty years ago!
+Don't you?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THEORY AND PRACTICE; OR, WHY THE ENGAGEMENT WAS BROKEN
+OFF
+
+_Lady Di_ (_to Jack, whose vows of devotion have been interrupted by a
+fox being hollered away_). "Oh, Jack, my hair's coming down! Do stop and
+hold my horse. I won't be five minutes."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: AWFUL RESULT OF THE WAR!
+
+_A Dream of Mr. Punch's Sporting Correspondent_
+
+     ["Mr. Arthur Wilson, Master of the Holderness Hunt, has received an
+     intimation from the War Office that, in consequence of the war with
+     the Transvaal, ten of his horses will be required."--_Daily
+     Paper._]
+
+]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "NO FOLLOWERS ALLOWED"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: ROBBERY WITH VIOLENCE
+
+_Lady_ (_who has just jumped on fallen Sportsman_). "I'm awfully sorry!
+I hope we didn't hurt you?"
+
+_Fallen Sportsman._ "Oh, I'm all right, thanks. But--er--do you mind
+leaving me my hat?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+IN THE MIDLANDS
+
+_Belated Hunting Man_ (_to Native_). "Can you kindly point out the way
+to the Fox and Cock Inn?"
+
+_Native._ "D'ye mean the Barber's Arms?"
+
+_B. H. M._ "No, the Fox and Cock!"
+
+_Native._ "Well, that's what we call the Barber's Arms."
+
+_B. H. M._ "Why so?"
+
+_Native_ (_with a hoarse laugh_). "Well, ain't the Fox and Cock the same
+as the Brush and Comb?"
+
+     [_Vanishes into the gloaming, leaving the B. H. M. muttering those
+     words which are not associated with benediction, while he wearily
+     passes on his way._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+APPROPRIATE TO THE WINTER SEASON
+
+For sportsmen, the old song long ago popular, entitled "_There's a Good
+Time Coming, Boys_," if sung by a M.F.H. with a bad cold, as thus:
+"_There's a Good Tibe Cubbing, Boys!_"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: Mr. Briggs's hunting cap comes home, but that is really a
+thing Mrs. Briggs _can_ not, and _will_ not put up with!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: Mr. Briggs goes out with the Brighton Harriers. He has a
+capital day. The only drawback is, that he is obliged to lead his horse
+_up_ hill to ease him--]
+
+       * * *
+
+[Illustration: and _down_ hill because he is afraid of going over his
+head--so that he doesn't get quite so much horse exercise as he could
+wish!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+AT THE HUNT BALL
+
+(_The Sad Complaint of a Man in Black_)
+
+    O MOLLY, dear, my head, I fear, is going round and round,
+    Your cousin isn't in the hunt, when hunting men abound;
+    A waltz for me no more you'll keep, the girls appear to think
+    There's a law been made in favour of the wearing of the pink.
+    Sure I met you in the passage, and I took you by the hand,
+    And says I, "How many dances, Molly, darlint, will ye stand?"
+    But your card was full, you said it with a most owdacious wink,
+    And I'm "hanging" all your partners for the wearing of the pink!
+    You'd a waltz for Charlie Thruster, but you'd divil a one for me,
+    Though he dances like a steam-engine, as all the world may see;
+    'Tis an illigant divarsion to observe the crowd divide,
+    As he plunges down the ball-room, taking couples in his stride.
+    'Tis a cropper you'll be coming, but you know your business best,
+    Still, it's bad to see you romping round with Charlie and the rest;
+    Now you're dancing with Lord Arthur--sure, he's had enough to dhrink--
+    And I'm "hanging" all your partners for the wearing of the pink!
+    Your cruelty ashamed you'll be someday to call to mind,
+    You'll be glad to ask my pardon, then, for being so unkind,
+    The hunting men are first, to-night--well, let them have their whack--
+    You'll be glad to dance with me, someday--when all the coats are black!
+    But, since pink's the only colour now that fills your pretty head,
+    Bedad, I'll have some supper, and then vanish home to bed.
+    'Tis the most distressful ball-room I was ever in, I think,
+    And I'm "hanging" all your partners for the wearing of the pink!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: MR. BRIGGS HAS ANOTHER DAY WITH THE HOUNDS
+
+Mr. Briggs can't bear flying leaps, so he makes for a gap--which is
+immediately filled by a frantic Protectionist, who is vowing that he
+will pitchfork Mr. B. if he comes "galloperravering" over his
+fences--danged if he doant!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A DOUBTFUL INFORMANT
+
+_Miss Connie_ (_to Gent in brook_). "Could you tell me if there is a
+bridge anywhere handy?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: NOT TO BE BEATEN
+
+_Cissy._ "Why should they call the hare's tail the scut?"
+
+_Bobby_ (_with a reputation as an authority to keep up_). "Oh--er--why
+you see--oh, of course, because the hare scuttles, you know, when she is
+hunted."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+WHY HE WAITED
+
+"What's the matter with Jack's new horse? He won't start."
+
+"Don't know; but they say he's been in an omnibus. Perhaps he's waiting
+for the bell!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE PLEASURES OF HUNTING
+
+To get a toss in a snowdrift, and, while lying half-smothered, to be
+sworn at for not shouting to warn the man following you.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+SO CONSOLING
+
+_Lady_ (_whose mare has just kicked a member of the Hunt, who was
+following too closely_). "Oh, I'm so sorry! I do hope it didn't hurt
+you! She's such a gentle thing, and could only have done it in the
+merest play, you know."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: POSITIVELY OSTENTATIOUS
+
+_Mr. Phunkstick_ (_quite put out_). "Talk about agricultural depression,
+indeed! Don't believe in it! Never saw fences kept in such disgustingly
+good order in my life!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+IRISH HUNTING TIPPLE
+
+_Englishman_ (_having partaken of his friend's flask, feels as if he had
+swallowed melted lead_). "Terribly strong! Pure whiskey, is it not?"
+
+_Irishman._ "Faith! not at all! It's greatly diluted with gin!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: IN A SHOOTING COUNTRY
+
+_Railway Porter_ (_who has been helping lady to mount_). "I hope you'll
+'ave a good day, ma'am."
+
+_Lady Diana._ "I just hope we'll find a fox."
+
+_Porter_ (_innocently_). "Oh, that's all right, ma'am. The fox came down
+by the last train!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: INSULT TO INJURY
+
+_Fitz-Noodle's Harriers, after a capital run, have killed--a fox!_
+
+_Incensed local M.F.H._ "Confound it, sir, you have killed one of my
+foxes!"
+
+_F. N._ "It's all right, old chap! You may kill one of my hares!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+HUNTING SONG
+
+(_To be sung when the Hounds meet at Colney Hatch or Hanwell_)
+
+    Tantivy! Anchovy! Tantara!
+    The moon is up, the moon is up,
+      The larks begin to fly,
+    And like a scarlet buttercup
+      Aurora gilds the sky.
+    Then let us all a-hunting go,
+      Come, sound the gay French horn,
+    And chase the spiders to and fro,
+      Amid the standing corn.
+    Tantivy! Anchovy! Tantara!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+UNCOMMONLY KEEN
+
+"Why, where's the horse, Miss Kitty? By Jove, you're wet through! What
+has happened?"
+
+"Oh, the stupid utterly refused to take that brook, so I left him and
+swam it. I couldn't miss the end of this beautiful thing!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: IN A BLIND DITCH
+
+_Sportsman_ (_to friend, whom he has mounted on a raw four-year-old for
+"a quiet morning's outing"_). "Bravo, Jack! Well done! That's just what
+the clumsy beggar wanted. Teach him to look where he's going!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: DRY HUMOUR
+
+"Be'n't ye comin' over for 'im, mister?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: WIREPROOF
+
+Sir Harry Hardman, mounted on "Behemoth," created rather a stir at the
+meet. He said he didn't care a hang for the barbed or any other kind of
+wire.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A SKETCH FROM THE MIDLANDS
+
+"Hulloa, old chap! Not hurt, I hope?"
+
+"Oh, no, no! Just got off to have a look at the view."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Whip._ "Here, here! Hold hard! Come back!"
+
+_Tommy_ (_home for the holidays_). "No jolly fear! You want to get first
+start!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"BUSINESS FIRST"
+
+_Favourite Son of M.F.H._ (_to old huntsman_). "No, Smith, you won't see
+much more of me for the rest of the season; if at all."
+
+_Smith_ (_with some concern_). "Indeed, sir! 'Ow's that?"
+
+_Son of M.F.H._ "Well, you see, I'm reading hard."
+
+_Smith_ (_interrogatively_). "Readin' 'ard, sir?"
+
+_Son of M.F.H._ "Yes, I'm reading Law."
+
+_Smith._ "Well, I likes to read a bit o' them perlice reports myself,
+sir, now an' then; but I don't allow 'em to hinterfere with a honest
+day's 'untin'."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+AN OMISSION BEST OMITTED
+
+_Brown_ (_on foot_). "Do you know what the total is for the season?"
+
+_Simkins_ (_somewhat new to country life_). "Fifteen pairs of foxes, the
+huntsman says. But he seems to have kept no count of rabbits or 'ares,
+and I know they've killed and eaten a lot of those!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: PUTTING IT NICELY
+
+_Young Lady_ (_politely, to old Gentleman who is fiddling with gap_). "I
+don't wish to hurry you, sir, but when you have quite finished your game
+of spilikins I should like to come!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: TERPSICHOREAN
+
+_Sportsman_ (_to Dancing Man, who has accepted a mount_). "Hold on
+tight, sir, and she'll _waltz_ over with you."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Benevolent Stranger._ "Allow me, sir, to offer you a
+drink!"
+
+_Unfortunate Sportsman_ (_just out of brook_). "Thanks; but I've had a
+drop too much already!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE MAGIC WORD
+
+_Huntsman_ (_having run a fox to ground, to yokel_). "Run away down and
+get some o' your fellows to come up with spades, will ye? Tell 'em we're
+after hidden treasure!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A CAPITAL DODGE
+
+Among his native banks Old Poddles takes a lot of beating. He says
+there's nothing easier when you know how to negotiate 'em.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+HUNTING EXTRAORDINARY
+
+Jobson, who edits a cheerful little weekly, said to me the other day:
+
+"You hunt, don't you?"
+
+I looked at him knowingly. Jobson interpreted my smile according to his
+preconceived idea.
+
+"I thought so," he continued.
+
+"Well, you might do me a bright little article--about half a column, you
+know--on hunting, will you?"
+
+Why should I hesitate? Jobson is safe for cash; and he had not asked me
+to give my own experiences of the hunting field. I replied warily, "I
+fancy I know the sort of thing you want."
+
+"Good," he said, and before we could arrive at any detailed explanation
+he had banged the door and dashed downstairs, jumped into his hansom and
+was off.
+
+This was the article:-
+
+THOUGHTS ON HUNTING.
+
+It is hardly possible to overrate the value of hunting as a National
+sport. Steeplechasing is a Grand-National sport, but it is the sport of
+the rich, whereas hunting is not. By judiciously dodging the Hunt
+Secretary, you can, in fact, hunt for nothing. Of course, people will
+come at me open-mouthed for this assertion, and say, "How about the keep
+of your horses?" To which I reply, "If you keep a carriage, hunt the
+carriage horse; if you don't, borrow a friend's horse for a long ride in
+the country, and accidentally meet the hounds." To proceed. This has
+been a season of poor scent. Of course, the horses of the present day
+have deteriorated as line hunters: they possess not the keen sense of
+smell which their grandsires had. But despite this the sport goes gaily
+on. There are plenty of foxes--but we cannot agree with the popular idea
+of feeding them on poultry. And yet, in every hunt, we see hunters
+subscribing to poultry funds. This is not as it should be: Spott's meat
+biscuit would be much better for foxes' food.
+
+But these be details: let us hie forrard and listen to the cheery voice
+of sly Reynard as he is winded from his earth. The huntsman blows his
+horn, and soon the welkin rings with a chorus of brass instruments; the
+tufters dash into covert, and anon the cheerful note of _Ponto_ or
+_Gripper_ gives warning that a warrantable fox is on foot--well, of
+course, he couldn't be on horseback, but this is merely a venatorial
+_facon de parler_. Away go the huntsmen, showing marvellous dexterity in
+cracking their whips and blowing their horns at the same moment. Last of
+all come the hounds, trailing after their masters--ah, good dogs, you
+cannot hope to keep up very far with the swifter-footed horses!
+Nevertheless, they strain at their leashes and struggle for a better
+place at the horses' heels. "Hike forrard! tally ho! whoo-hoop!" They
+swoop over the fields like a charge of cavalry. But after several hours'
+hard running a check is at hand: the fox falters, then struggles on
+again, its tail waving over its head. As its pursuers approach, it
+rushes up a tree to sit on the topmost branch and crack nuts.
+
+The panting horses arrive--some with their riders still in the saddle,
+though many, alas! have fallen by the wayside. Next come the hounds, at
+a long interval--poor _Fido_, poor _Vic_, poor _Snap_! you have done
+your best to keep up, but the horses have out-distanced you! The
+whipper-in immediately climbs the tree in which the little red-brown
+animal still peacefully cracks its nuts, its pretty tail curled well
+over its head. Its would-be captor carries a revolving wire cage, and,
+by sleight-of-hand movement, manages to get the quarry securely into it.
+Then he descends, places the cage in a cart and it is driven home.
+
+The "mort" is sounded by four green velvet-coated huntsmen, with horns
+wound round their bodies; a beautiful brush presented to the lady who
+was first up at the "take"; and then the field slowly disperse. Tally
+Ho-Yoicks! all is over for the day.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: MANNERS IN THE FIELD
+
+Always be prepared to give the lead to a lady, even at some little
+personal inconvenience.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE PLEASURES OF HUNTING
+
+Having been cannoned and nearly brought down, to be asked if you are
+trying the American seat.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HUNTING SKETCH
+
+The Cast Shoe, or Late for the Meat.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A KINDLY VIEW OF IT
+
+_First Rustic_ (_to Second Ditto_). "Oh, I say! Ain't he fond of his
+horse!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _M.F.H._ "Hold hard! Hold hard, please!! Where _are_ you
+going with that brute?"
+
+_Diana_ (_plaintively_). "I wish I knew!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE LAST DAY OF HUNTING
+
+(_Stanzas for the First of April_)
+
+    Right day to bid a long farewell
+      To the field's gladsome glee;
+    To hang the crop upon its peg,
+      The saddle on its tree.
+    All Fools' the day, all Fools' the deed,
+      That hunting's end doth bring--
+    With all those stinking violets,
+      And humbug of the Spring!
+
+    Good-bye to pig-skin and to pink,
+      Good-bye to hound and horse!
+    The whimpering music sudden heard
+      From cover-copse and gorse;
+    The feathering stems, the sweeping ears,
+      The heads to scent laid low,
+    The find, the burst, the "Gone-away!"
+      The rattling "Tally-ho!"
+
+    My horses may eat off their heads,
+      My huntsman eat his heart;
+    My hounds may dream of kills and runs
+      In which they've borne their part,
+    Until the season's bore is done,
+      And Parliament set free,
+    And cub-hunting comes back again
+      To make a man of me!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "A-HUNTING WE WILL GO!"
+
+_Lady._ "You're dropping your fish!"
+
+_Irish Fish Hawker_ (_riding hard_). "Och, bad luck to thim! Niver
+moind. Sure we're kapin' up wid the gentry!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: JUMPING POWDER
+
+(_Mr. Twentystun having a nip on his way to covert_)
+
+_Small Boy._ "Oh my, Billy, 'ere's a heighty-ton gun a chargin' of
+'isself afore goin' into haction!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: DRAWN BLANK
+
+_Huntsman._ "How is it you never have any foxes here now?"
+
+_Keeper_ (_who has orders to shoot them_). "Pheasants have eat 'em all!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE ADVANTAGE OF EDUCATION
+
+_M.F.H._ (_who has had occasion to reprimand hard-riding Stranger_). "I'm
+afraid I used rather strong language to you just now."
+
+_Stranger._ "Strong language? A mere _twitter_, sir. You should hear
+_our_ Master!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Irate Non-sporting Farmer._ "Hi! you there! What the
+Duce do you mean by riding over my wheat!"
+
+_'Arry._ "'Ere, I say! What are yer givin' us? _Wheat!_ Why, it's only
+bloomin' _mud!_"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"FOOT AND MOUTH" TROUBLE
+
+A valuable hunter, belonging to Mr. Durlacher, got its hind foot
+securely fixed in its mouth one day last week, and a veterinary surgeon
+had to be summoned to its assistance. This recalls the ancient Irish
+legend of the man who never opened his mouth without putting his foot
+into it. But that, of course, was a bull.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+DECIDEDLY NOT
+
+_Nervous Visitor_ (_pulling up at stiff-looking fence_). "Are you going to
+take this hedge, sir?"
+
+_Sportsman._ "No. It can stop where it is, as far as I'm concerned."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+UNGRATEFUL
+
+_The Pride of the Hunt_ (_to Smith, who, for the last ten minutes, has
+been gallantly struggling with obstinate gate_). "Mr. Smith, if you
+really _can't_ open that gate, perhaps you will kindly move out of the
+way, and allow me to _jump_ it!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: APT
+
+_Brown_ (_helping lady out of water_). "'Pon my word, Miss Smith, you
+remind me exactly of What's-her-name rising from the What-you-call!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A CHECK
+
+_M.F.H._ (_riding up to old Rustic, with the intention of asking him if he
+has seen the lost fox_). "How long have you been working here, master?"
+
+_Old Rustic_ (_not seeing the point_). "Nigh upon sixty year, mister!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "WHAT'S IN A NAME?"
+
+_Whip._ "_Wisdom!_ Get away there!! _Wisdom!! Wisdom!!!_ Ugh!--you
+always were the biggest fool in the pack!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: SOMETHING THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY
+
+_Mrs. Brown_ (_being helped out of a brook by the gallant Captain, who has
+also succeeded in catching her horse_). "Oh, Captain Robinson! thank you
+_so_ much!"
+
+_Gallant, but somewhat flurried, Captain._ "Not at all--don't mention
+it." (_Wishing to add something excessively polite and appropriate._)
+"Only hope I may soon have another opportunity of doing the same again
+for you."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+REASSURING
+
+_Criticising friend_ (_to nervous man on new horse_). "Oh! now I recollect
+that mare. Smashem bought her of Crashem last season, and she broke a
+collar-bone for each of them."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "THE TIP OF THE MORNING TO YOU!"
+
+_First Whip thanks him, and hums to himself,_ "When other tips, and
+t'other parts, Then he remembers _me!_"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Giles_ (_indicating Sportsman on excitable horse, waiting
+his turn_). "Bless us all, Tumas, if that un beant a goin' to try it
+back'ards!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: WITH THE HARDUP HARRIERS
+
+_Dismounted Huntsman_ (_to his mount_). "Whoa, you old brute! To think I
+went and spared yer from the biler only last week! You hungrateful old
+'idebound 'umbug!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+'INTS ON 'UNTING, BY 'ARRY
+
+[Illustration: (1) ON CLOTHES.--"Why not employ local talent? Saves half
+the money, and no one can tell the difference."]
+
+[Illustration: (2) If the thong of your whip gets under your horse's
+tail, just try to pull it out!]
+
+[Illustration: (3) Don't buy a horse because he is described as being
+"Well known with the ---- Hounds." It might be true.]
+
+[Illustration: (4) If at a meet your horse should get a bit out of hand,
+just run him up against some one.]
+
+[Illustration: (5) If opening a gate for the huntsman, don't fall into
+the middle of the pack!]
+
+[Illustration: (6) Sit well back at your fences!]
+
+[Illustration: (7) Look before you leap.]
+
+[Illustration: (8) If you lose your horse, just tell the huntsman to
+catch it for you.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+EXCUSABLE
+
+_M.F.H._ (_justly irate, having himself come carefully round edge of
+seed-field_). "Blank it all, Rogerson, what's the good o' me trying to
+keep the field off seeds, and a fellow like you coming slap across 'em?"
+
+_Hard-Riding Farmer._ "It's all right. They're my own! Ar've just come
+ower my neighbour's wheat, and ar couldn't for vary sham(e) miss my own
+seeads!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+ANXIOUS TO SELL
+
+_Dealer_ (_to Hunting Man, whose mount has NOT answered expectations_).
+"How much do you want for that nag o' yours, sir?"
+
+_Hunting Man._ "Well, I'll take a hundred guineas."
+
+_Dealer._ "Make it _shillings_."
+
+_H. M._ (_delighted_). "He's yours!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: NOT A LADIES' DAY
+
+_Miss Scramble._ "Now, Charles, give me one more long hair-pin, and I
+shall do."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+CASUAL
+
+_Owner of let-out hunters_ (_to customer just returned from day's sport_).
+"Are you aware, sir, that ain't my 'orse?"
+
+_Sportsman._ "Not yours! Then, by Jove, I _did_ collar the wrong gee
+during that scrimmage at the brook!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+AT OUR OPENING MEET
+
+_Stranger from over the water._ "I guess you've a mighty smart bunch of
+dogs there, m'lord!"
+
+_Noble but crusty M.F.H._ "Then you guess wrong, sir. _This is a pack of
+hounds!_"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+MUST BE HUNGRY
+
+"Wish you'd feed your horse before he comes out."
+
+"Eh--why--hang it!--what do you mean?"
+
+"He's always trying to eat my boots. He evidently thinks there's some
+chance of getting at a little corn!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE RETORT COURTEOUS
+
+(_A Reminiscence of the past Harrier Season_)
+
+_Major Topknot, M.H._ (_to butcher's boy_). "Hi! Hulloah! Have you seen my
+hare?"
+
+_Butcher's Boy._ "Ga-a-rn! 'Ave you seen my whiskers?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+DISINTERESTED KINDNESS
+
+_Sportsman_ (_just come to grief, to Kindhearted Stranger who has captured
+horse_). "I say, I'm awfully obliged to you! I can get on all right, so
+please don't wait!"
+
+_Kindhearted Stranger._ "Oh, I'd rather, thanks! I want you to flatten
+the next fence for me!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+ENCOURAGING
+
+_Nervous Man_ (_who hires his hunters_). "Know anything about this mare?
+Ringbone tells me she's as clever as a man!"
+
+_Friend._ "Clever as a man? Clever as a woman more like it! Seen her
+play some fine old games with two or three fellows, I can tell you!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: NUNC AUT NUNQUAM
+
+_Voice from bottom of ditch._ "Hold hard a minute! My money has slipped
+out of my pockets, and it's all down here somewhere!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A REFORMED CHARACTER
+
+_John._ "Goin' to give up 'untin'! Deary! deary! An' 'ow's that,
+missie?"
+
+_Little Miss Di._ "Well, you see, John, I find my cousin Charlie, who is
+going to be a curate, does not approve of hunting women, so I intend to
+be a district visitor instead!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: MOTTOES; OR, "WHO'S WHO?"
+
+Mrs. Prettyphat. Family Motto--"_Medici jussu_."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+SOMETHING LIKE A CHARACTER
+
+_Huntsman_ (_on being introduced to future wife of M.F.H._). "Proud to
+make your acquaintance, miss! Known the Capting, miss, for nigh on ten
+seasons, and never saw 'im turn 'is 'ead from hanything as was jumpable!
+Knows a 'oss and knows a 'ound! Can ride one and 'unt t'other; and if
+that ain't as much as can be looked for in a 'usband, miss, why, I'll be
+jiggered!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A LIBERAL ALLOWANCE
+
+_Huntsman_ (_who has just drawn Mr. Van Wyck's coverts blank_). "Rather
+short of cubs, I'm afraid, sir!"
+
+_Mr. Van Wyck_ (_who has very recently acquired his country seat_). "Most
+extraordinary! Can't understand it at all! Why, I told my keeper to
+order a dozen only last week!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: STORIES WITHOUT WORDS
+
+How "the second horseman" went home.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: Scene--_As above._ Time--_Mid-day._ Sport--_None up to
+now._
+
+_Stout Party_ (_about to leave_). "Most extr'ordinary thing. Whenever I go
+home, they always have a rattling good run."
+
+_Candid Friend._ "Then, for goodness' sake, _go home at once!_"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: MOST EXTRAORDINARY
+
+_Dismounted Sportsman._ "Now, how the deuce did my hat manage to get up
+there?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+STRAIGHT
+
+_Huntsman_ (_to Boy, who is riding his second horse_). "Hi, there! What
+the doose are yer doin' of with that second 'oss?"
+
+_Boy_ (_Irish, and only just come to the Hunt stables from a Racing
+Establishment_). "Arrah thin, if oi roides oi roides to win! and divil a
+second is he goin' to be at all, at all!!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+FORBEARANCE
+
+_Member of Hunt_ (_to Farmer_). "I wouldn't ride over those seeds if I
+were you. They belong to a disagreeable sort of fellow, who might make a
+fuss about it."
+
+_Farmer._ "Well, sir, as him's me, he won't say nothing about it
+to-day."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: (_Extract from a letter received by Mr. Shootall on the
+morning when hounds were expected to draw his covers_)
+
+_Leadenhall Market, Thursday._
+
+Sir,--Your esteemed order to hand. We regret that we are quite out of
+foxes at present; but, as you mentioned they were for children's pets,
+we thought guinea pigs might do instead, so are sending half a dozen
+to-day. Hoping, &c., &c.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+TOO MUCH
+
+(_Pity the Sorrows of a poor Hunting Man!_)
+
+_Sportsman_ (_suffering from intense aberration of mind in consequence of
+the weather, in reply to wife of his bosom_). "Put out? Why, o' course
+I'm put out. Been just through the village, and hang me if at least half
+a dozen fools haven't told me that it's nice seasonable weather!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+AT THE HUNT BALL
+
+_Mr. Hardhit._ "Don't you think, Miss Highflier, that men look much
+better in pink--less like waiters?"
+
+_Miss Highflier._ "Yes, but more like ringmasters--eh?"
+
+    [_Hardhit isn't a bit offended, but seizes the opportunity._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HINTS TO BEGINNERS
+
+In mounting your horse, always stand facing his tail.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: The patent pneumatic tennis-ball hunting costume. Falling
+a pleasure.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Second Whip._ "G-aw-ne away!"
+
+_Middle-aged Diana._ "Go on away, indeed! Impertinence! I'll go just
+when I'm ready!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A CASE OF REAL DISTRESS
+
+_Fox-hunter._ "Here's a bore, Jack! The ground is half a foot thick with
+snow, and it's freezing like mad!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE HUNTSMAN'S POINT OF VIEW.
+
+One of the best runs of the season.
+
+Good scent all the way.
+
+Sir Heavistone Stogdon unfortunately fell at a stiff bank and broke his
+collar-bone.
+
+At the last moment, I regret to say, the fox got away.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A FOX HUNT
+
+(_After a tapestry_)
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: BUGGLES WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET
+
+He encounters a "coomb," and wonders if it is soft at the bottom.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET
+
+_Sportsman_ (_from the bog_). "Confound you, didn't you say there was a
+sound bottom here?"
+
+_Shepherd._ "Zo there be, maister; but thou 'aven't got down to un
+yet!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: BUGGLES WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET
+
+How he found a "Warrantable Deer."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: BUGGLES WITH THE DEVON AND SOMERSET
+
+_In_ Devonshire.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+FOOLS AND THEIR MONEY--
+
+_Jones_ (_who has been having a fair bucketing for the last half-hour, as
+he passes friend, in his mad career_). "I'd give a fiver to get off this
+brute!"
+
+_Friend_ (_brutal_). "Don't chuck your money away, old chap! You'll be
+off for less than that!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+WITH THE QUEEN'S
+
+_Leading Sportsman._ "Hold ha--rd! Here's some more of that confounded
+barbed wire! Dashed if I don't think this country is mainly inhabited by
+retired fishing-tackle makers!"
+
+     [_Makes for nearest gate, followed by sympathetic field._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+HIS OPINION
+
+_Jenkinson_ (_to M.F.H., who dislikes being bothered_). "What do you think
+of this horse?" (_No answer._) "Bred him myself, you know!"
+
+_M.F.H._ (_looking at horse out of corner of his eye_). "Umph! I thought
+you couldn't have been such a silly idiot as to have _bought_ him!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE VOICE OF SPRING
+
+_Bibulous Binks._ "Gad, it's freezing again!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A BLANK--BLANK--DAY]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: WHOSE FAULT?
+
+"He _can_ jump, but he _won't!_"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A VIEW HALLOO
+
+(_Hounds at fault_)
+
+_Whip_ (_bustling up to young Hodge, who has just begun to wave his cap
+and sing out lustily_). "Now then, where is he?"
+
+_Young H._ "Yonder, sir! Acomin' across yonder!"
+
+_Whip._ "Get out, why there ain't no fox there stoopid!"
+
+_Young H._ "No, sir; but there be our Billy on his jackass!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Miss Nelly_ (_to her Slave, in the middle of the best
+thing of the Season_). "Oh, Mr. Rowel, do you mind going back? I dropped
+my whip at the last fence!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+SEVERE
+
+_M.F.H._ (_to Youth from neighbouring Hunt, who has been making himself
+very objectionable_). "Now, look here, young man. I go cub-hunting for
+the purpose of educating _my own_ puppies. As you belong to another
+pack, I'll thank you to take yourself home!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HUNTING MEMORANDUM
+
+Appearance of things in general to a gentleman who has just turned a
+complete somersault!
+
+_* &c., &c., represent sparks of divers beautiful colours._]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "LE SPORTMAN"
+
+"Hi!! Hi!! Stop ze chasse! I tomble--I faloff! _Stop ze fox!_"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "CUBBING EVENTS CAST THEIR SHADOWS"
+
+_Half-awakened un-enthusiastic Sportsman_ (_who wished to go out
+cub-hunting, but has entirely changed his mind, drowsily addressing
+rather astonished burglar_). "Awright, old boy. Can't come with you this
+morning. Too sleepy."
+
+    [_Turns round and resumes deep sleep where he left off._
+
+]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A BROKEN PLEDGE
+
+_Sportsman on bank_ (_to Friend in brook_). "Hallo, Thompson, is that you?
+Why, I thought you had joined the 'No Drinks in between Meals' Party!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"IN THE DIM AND DISTANT FUTURE"
+
+_First Sportsman_ (_cantering along easily_). "I say, we shall see you at
+dinner on the nineteenth, shan't we?"
+
+_Second Ditto_ (_whose horse is very fresh, and bolting with him_). "If
+the beast goes on like this--hanged if you'll ever see me again."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THERE'S LIFE IN THE OLD DOG YET
+
+_Ex-M.F.H._ (_eighty-nine and paralytic_). "Fora-a-d! Fora-a-d!
+Fora-a-a-d!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Huntsman_ (_making a cast for the line of the fox, near a
+railway_). "Hold hard, please! Don't ride over the line!"
+
+_Would-be Thrusters._ "Oh, no, we won't. There's a bridge farther on!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "RANK BLASPHEMY"
+
+_Squire Oldboy, M.H._ (_enjoying a long and very slow hunt_). "There she
+goes! Afraid it's a new hare though."
+
+_Bored Sportsman._ "How lucky! The other must be getting doosid old."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A CHECK
+
+_Huntsman._ "Seen the fox, my boy?"
+
+_Boy._ "No, I ain't!"
+
+_Huntsman._ "Then, what are you hollarin' for?"
+
+_Boy_ (_who has been scaring rooks_). "'Cos I'm paid for it!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: EASIER SAID THAN DONE
+
+_Sixteen-stone Sportsman (who has been nearly put down from a "rotten"
+landing, to little Bricks, 9st. 2lb.)_: "Do you mind putting me back in
+the saddle, sir?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE TROUBLES OF AN M.F.H.
+
+_M.F.H._ (_to stranger, who is violently gesticulating to hounds_). "When
+you have done _feeding your chickens_, sir, perhaps you will allow me to
+hunt my hounds!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: Nobody was near hounds in the big wood when they pulled
+down the cub except Mr. Tinkler and his inamorata. He rashly volunteers
+to secure the brush for her!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "Morning, Tom. What a beastly day!"
+
+"It ain't a day, sir. I call it an interval between two bloomin'
+nights!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A BAD LOOK-OUT
+
+_Sportsman_ (_to Friend whom he has mounted_). "For goodness' sake, old
+chap, don't let her put you down! She's certain to savage you!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: ECHOES OF THE CHASE
+
+_Huntsman_ (_who has been having a very bad ride_). "Either master wants
+some new 'orses or a new 'untsman!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HINTS ON HUNTING
+
+Always see that your bridle reins are sound. There are times when they
+have a considerable strain on 'em!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: SO FAR, NO FARTHER
+
+Extraordinary position assumed by Mr. Snoodle on the sudden and
+unexpected refusal of his horse.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HARD LUCK
+
+_Small Child_ (_to Mr. Sparkin, who had come out at an unusually early
+hour in order to meet his inamorata at the guide-post, and pilot her out
+cub-hunting_). "I was to tell you she has such a bad cold she couldn't
+come. But I'm going with you instead, if you promise to take care of me.
+I'm her cousin, you know!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A PSEUDO-THRUSTER
+
+_Farmer_ (_to Sportsman, returning from the chase_). "Beg pardon, sir, but
+ain't you the gent that broke down that there gate of mine this
+morning?"
+
+_Mr. Noodel_ (_who never by any chance jumps anything--frightfully
+pleased_). "Er--did I? Well, how much is the damage?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE WATER TEST
+
+_Whip_ (_bringing on tail hounds, in the rear of the field_). "Hulloah!
+Who've you got there?"
+
+_Runner_ (_who has just assisted sportsman out of a muddy ditch_). "Dunno.
+Can't tell till we've washed 'im down a bit!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: MOST UNFORTUNATE
+
+Horrible catastrophe which happened to Captain Fussey (our ladies' man)
+on his arrival at the opening meet. New coat, new boots, new horse, new
+everything! Hard luck!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A SEVERE TEST
+
+_Miss Sally_ (_who has just taken off her mackintosh--to ardent admirer_).
+"Look! they're away! Do just stuff this thing into your pocket. I'm sure
+I shan't want it again!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A STUDY IN EXPRESSION
+
+_Irate M.F.H._ (_who has had half an hour in the big gorse trying to get a
+faint-hearted fox away, galloping to "holloa" on the far side of
+covert_). _"Confound you and your pony, sir! Get out of my way!"_
+
+     [_Binks, who has been trying to keep out of people's way all day,
+     thinks he can quite understand the feelings of the hunted fox._
+
+     ]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+OUR HUNT "POINT TO POINT"
+
+Last week our Point to Point steeplechase came off. So did several of
+the riders: this merely _par parenthese_. I offered to mark out the
+course, and, as I intended to escape the dread ordeal of riding by
+scratching my horse at the last moment, I thought it would be great fun
+to choose a very stiff, not to say bloodthirsty, line. Awful grumbling
+on the part of those unhappy ones who were to ride. Just as the bell
+rang for saddling, Captain Sproozer, ready dressed for the fray, came up
+to me with very long face, and said, "Beastly line this, you know,
+Phunker. I call it much too stiff."
+
+I smiled in pitying and superior manner. "Think so, my dear Sproozer? My
+horse can't run, worse luck, but I only wish _I_ were going to have the
+gallop over it."
+
+"So you shall, then!" cried a rasping voice, suddenly, from behind me.
+Sir Hercules Blizzard was the speaker, an awful man with an awful
+temper. "So you shall. My idiot of a jockey broke his collar-bone trying
+to jump one of the fences on this confounded course of yours to-day, so,
+as I am without a rider, you shall ride my mare Dinah."
+
+Swallowed lump in my throat as I thanked him for his offer, but thought
+I had better decline, as I didn't know the mare, and besides that, I----
+
+"Oh! all right, I know what you are going to say: that you're not much
+good on a horse"--(nothing of the sort! I was not going to say any such
+thing, confound the man!) "Of course, I know all that, and that you're
+not much of a rider; but I can't help myself now. It's too late to get a
+decent horseman, so I shall have to make shift with you."
+
+Deuced condescending of him. I made a feeble effort to escape, and would
+cheerfully have paid a hundred pounds for the chance of doing so. Phil
+Poundaway, great friend of mine, came up and said (sympathetically, as I
+thought at first), "I should think you'd prefer to get off it, wouldn't
+you, Phunker?"
+
+Thought he would volunteer in my place, so was perfectly frank with him.
+"My dear Phil, I'd give a hundred to get off----"
+
+"Ah! you will, I expect, at the first fence, without paying the money!"
+he grinned, as he turned away.
+
+Murder was in my heart at that moment. I got on Dinah, and, feeling like
+death, rode down to the starting-post. Thoughts of a misspent youth, of
+home and friends and things, came o'er me. I seemed once more to see the
+little rose-covered porch, the----
+
+"What on earth are you mooning about?" thundered the Blizzardian voice
+in my ear. "Take hold of her head tighter than that, or you'll be off!"
+
+The next moment the starter yelled "Go!" and away, like a whirlwind, we
+sped across the first field, towards a huge, thick blackthorn fence, the
+one I had thought to see such fun with. Fun! I never felt less funny in
+my life, as we approached it at the rate of two thousand miles an hour!
+The mare jumped high, but I jumped much higher, and seemed for a brief
+moment to be soaring through the blue empyrean. Somehow, the mare
+managed to evade me on the return journey earthwards, and, instead of
+alighting on the saddle, I found myself "sitting on the floor." A
+howl--it might have been of sympathy, but it didn't sound quite like
+that--arose from the crowd, and then I thought that I would go home on
+foot, instead of returning to explain matters to Sir Hercules. As a
+matter of fact, I don't much care for associating with old Blizzard, at
+all events, not just now.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: AMENITIES OF SPORT
+
+_Huntsman_ (_to Whip, sent forward for a view_). "Haven't ye seen him,
+Tom?"
+
+_Whip._ "No, sir."
+
+_Huntsman._ "If he'd been in a pint pot, ye jolly soon would!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HIS LITTLE DODGE
+
+_First Hunting Man_ (_having observed the ticket with "K" on it in his
+friend's hat_). "I didn't know that old gee of yours was a kicker. He
+looks quiet enough."
+
+_Second Hunting Man._ "Well, he isn't really. I only wear the "K" to
+make people give me more room!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: TRUE COURAGE
+
+_Whip._ "Hi, sir! Keep back! The fox may break covert there!"
+
+_Foreigner._ "Bah! I fear him not--your fox."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE FORCE OF HABIT
+
+_Spanner_ (_a great cyclist, whose horse has been startled by man on
+covert hack_). "Hi! confound you! Why the deuce don't you sound your
+bell!!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "THE CART WITHOUT THE HORSE"
+
+Scene--_Cub-hunting._ Time--_About one o'clock._
+
+_Lady._ "Well, Count, what have you lost? Your lunch?"
+
+_The Count_ (_who breakfasted some time before six o'clock, a.m._). "No,
+no! Donner und wetter! I have him, but I have lost my teeth!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HORRIBLE PREDICAMENT
+
+_Gent_ (_on mettlesome hireling_). "'Elp! 'Elp! Somebody stop 'im! 'E's
+going to jump, and I can't!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: MOST EMBARRASSING
+
+_Lady (hiding behind bush, to Mr. Spoodle, who has captured her horse)_.
+"Oh, thank you so much! But I hope to goodness you have found my skirt
+as well!"
+
+    [_Nice position for Mr. Spoodle, who is very bashful, and has seen
+    nothing of the garment_.
+
+]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "DO NOT SPEAK TO THE MAN AT THE WHEEL"
+
+_'Arry_ (_puffing a "twopenny smoke," to huntsman, making unsuccessful
+cast_). "Very bad scent."
+
+_Huntsman._ "Shockin'! Smells like burnin' seaweed!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: OBEYING ORDERS
+
+"It's all very well for master to say 'Keep close to Miss Vera,
+Miles'--but I want to know 'oo's going to take Miles to the
+'orsepital?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: GALLANTRY REWARDED
+
+_Lady_ (_having had a fall at a brook, and come out the wrong side,--to
+stranger who has caught her horse_). "Oh, I'm _so_ much obliged to you!
+Now, do you mind just bringing him over?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: JUST OFF
+
+"Ride her on the snaffle, Tom! Don't ride her on the curb!"
+
+"Hang your curb and snaffle! I've enough to do to _ride her on the
+saddle!_"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: A Suggestion: No more trouble from wire, damage to
+fences, etc.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: THE TRIALS OF AN M.F.H.
+
+_M.F.H._ (_to misguided enthusiast who has been cheering hounds on a bad
+scent_). "Now then! Am I going to hunt the hounds or are you?"
+
+_Enthusiast_ (_sweetly_). "Just as you please, m'lord, just as you
+please."]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: OFF HIS GUARD
+
+_Farmer_ (_just coming up_). "Young gentleman riding your brown horse, my
+lord, had nasty accident a field or two back. Barbed wire--very ugly
+cuts!"
+
+_My Lord._ "Tut--tut--tut! Dear--dear--dear! Not the horse, I hope?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: "BON VOYAGE!"
+
+_Mossu (shot into a nice soft loam), exultingly._ "A--ha--a! I am safe
+o-vere! Now it is your turn, Meester Timbre Jompre! Come on, sare!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: ON THE WAY HOME FROM THE EXMOOR HUNT--NO KILL
+
+THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BRIDGE
+
+_Fair Huntress._ "What a pity the hounds let that splendid stag get
+away, Colonel, wasn't it?"
+
+_Colonel._ "Pity! Ha, if they'd only taken my advice we should have been
+up with him now, instead of being miles away on the wrong track!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: _Distinguished Foreigner_ (_to good Samaritan who has
+caught his horse_). "Merci bien, monsieur! You save me much trouble.
+Before, I lose my horse--I lose him altogether, and I must put him in
+the newspaper!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: VIVE LA CHASSE!
+
+_Foreign Visitor_ (_an enthusiastic "sportsman," viewing fox attempting to
+break_). "A-h-h-h! Halte-la! Halte! _You shall not escape!_"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: RATHER TOO MUCH
+
+_Lady_ (_having just cannoned Stranger into brook_). "Oh, I'm _so_ sorry I
+bumped you! Would you mind going in again for my hat?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE END OF THE HUNTING SEASON
+
+(_By Our Own Novice_)
+
+    Good-bye to the season! E'en gluttons
+      Have had quite enough of the game,
+    And if we returned to our muttons,
+      Our horses are laid up and lame.
+    We hunted straight on through the winter,
+      And never were stopped by the frost,
+    As I know right well from each splinter
+      Of bone that my poor limbs have lost.
+
+    Good-bye to the season! The "croppers"
+      I got where the fences were tall,
+    And Oh the immaculate "toppers"
+      That always were crushed by my fall.
+    Don't think though that I'm so stout-hearted
+      As e'er to jump hedges or dikes,
+    It's simply that after we've started,
+      My "gee" gallivants as it likes.
+
+    In vain I put on natty breeches,
+      And tops like Meltonian swell,
+    It ends in the blessed old ditches,
+      I know like the Clubs in Pall Mall.
+
+    And when from a "gee" that's unruly
+      I fall with a terrible jar,
+    I know that old _Jorrocks_ spoke truly,
+      And hunting's "the image of war."
+
+    And never for me "_Fair Diana_"
+      Shall smile as we know that she can,
+    With looks that are sweeter than manna,
+      On many a fortunate man.
+    It adds to the pangs that I suffer,
+      When thrown at a fence in her track,
+    To hear her "Ridiculous duffer!"
+      When jumping slap over my back.
+
+    I've fractured my ulnar, I'm aching
+      Where over my ribs my horse rolled;
+    Egad! the "Old Berkeley" is making
+      One man feel uncommonly old.
+    Good-bye to the season! I'm shattered
+      And damaged in figure and face;
+    But thankful to find I'm not scattered
+      In pieces all over the place!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HINTS TO BEGINNERS
+
+Good hands will often make the most confirmed refuser jump.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: TRULY DELIGHTFUL!
+
+Galloping down the side of a field covered with mole-hills, on a
+weak-necked horse, with a snaffle bridle, one foot out of your stirrup,
+and a bit of mud in your eye!]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: SELF-PRESERVATION
+
+_Tomlin_ (_who has been mounted by friend_). "It's all very well to shout
+'Loose your reins,' but what the deuce _am_ I to hang on to?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+SEASONABLE DISH FOR A SPORTSMAN.--A plate o' _f_ox-tail soup.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+THE RULE OF THE HUNTING-FIELD.--Lex Tally-ho-nis.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+FASHIONABLE FOOD FOR HORSES.--Hay _a la_ mowed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: QUOTATIONS GONE WRONG
+
+                            "Life has passed
+    With me but roughly since I heard thee last."
+                                       _Cowper._
+
+]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: ALL HER PLAY
+
+_Country Gentleman_ (_to nervous man, whom he has mounted_). "By Jove,
+old chap, never saw the mare so fresh! Take care you ain't off!"
+
+_Nervous Man_ (_heartily_). "W--w--wish to goodness I were!"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration: HINTS TO BEGINNERS
+
+Always let your horse see that you are his master.]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+[Illustration]
+
+THE END
+
+BRADBURY, AGNEW, & CO. LD., PRINTERS, LONDON AND TONBRIDGE.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Mr. Punch in the Hunting Field, by Various
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