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diff --git a/39005.txt b/39005.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bc2f084 --- /dev/null +++ b/39005.txt @@ -0,0 +1,13816 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The American Gentleman's Guide to +Politeness and Fashion, by Henry Lunettes + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The American Gentleman's Guide to Politeness and Fashion + or, Familiar Letters to his Nephews + +Author: Henry Lunettes + +Release Date: February 28, 2012 [EBook #39005] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE *** + + + + +Produced by Julia Miller, Linda Hamilton, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/Canadian Libraries) + + + + + + + + + + THE + =AMERICAN= GENTLEMAN'S + GUIDE TO POLITENESS + AND + FASHION; + + OR, + + FAMILIAR LETTERS TO HIS NEPHEWS. + + BY HENRY LUNETTES. + + The good old name of GENTLEMAN. + TENNYSON. + + + People sometimes complain of writers who talk of "I, I." * * * * When + I speak to you of myself, I am speaking to you of yourself, also. Is it + possible that you do not feel that it is so? VICTOR HUGO. + + + NEW EDITION, CAREFULLY REVISED BY THE AUTHOR. + + PHILADELPHIA: + J. B. LIPPINCOTT & CO. + 1864. + + + + +Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1863, by + +J. B. LIPPINCOTT & CO., + +in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States +for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania. + + + + + TO + HIS YOUNG COUNTRYMEN, + THIS UNPRETENDING VOLUME, IS, WITH AFFECTIONATE PRIDE, + INSCRIBED BY + THE AUTHOR. + + + + +INTRODUCTION. + + + "I lang ha'e thought, my youthful friends, + A something to have sent you, + Tho' it may serve no other end + Than just a kind memento: + But how the subject-theme may gang + Let time and chance determine; + Perhaps it may turn out a sang, + Perhaps turn out a sermon." + + + + +TABLE OF CONTENTS + + +LETTER I. + +DRESS. + + PROPRIETY of conforming to Fashion, with a due Regard for + individual Peculiarities of Appearance--Eccentricity of Taste + in Dress--Obedience to the Laws of Convention--The vagaries of + Genius, in this respect--Absurdity and Affectation originated + by the Example of Byron--All indifference and neglect to be + avoided, with regard to Dress--Anecdote of Dr. Johnson and the + Siddons--Porson, the Greek Scholar--Horace Greeley--Aphorism-- + Habits of a distinguished Parisian _savant_--Example and opinion + of Washington with reference to Dress--Partiality of Americans + for Black, as the color of dress-clothes--Practice of Men in + other Countries, in the selection of Colors--Morning Costume of + an English Gentleman--Every English Gentleman usefully employed + during a Portion of each Day--Dr. Johnson's Test of good Taste + in Dress--The golden mean in Matters of Dress--Ceremonious + Costume of a Gentleman--Mode of wearing the Hair and Beard-- + Necessity for artistic Taste in one's Barber--All extremes of + Fashion in bad Taste--Various Absurdities in this respect, + inconsistent with the "keeping" of modern Costume--Collars, + their size, shape, &c.--Sleeve-buttons--Bad taste of wearing + flash Stones--Use of Diamonds In Dress--Simplicity in the + Appendages of Dress, the characteristic of true refinement-- + Signet-rings--Distinctive Points of difference between the + exterior of a Gentleman and of a Loafer--All staring + patterns in Gentlemen's clothes exceptionable--A white suit + throughout, for warm Weather--Thin Cravats--Body Linen-- + Kotzebue's test of high-breeding--Strength and Comfort + the essential Characteristics of working Garments--Fitness + and propriety even in matters of Dress, indicative of a + well-regulated Mind--Every American should aim to be a true + Gentleman--Importance of Trifles, when viewed in the + aggregate--Influence of Dress, etc., upon Character and + Manner--Wearing Gloves in Dancing--White Gloves alone + unexceptionable for ceremonious Evening Occasions--Gloves + suitable for the Street and Morning Visits--Bright-colored + Gloves in bad _ton_--Illustrative Anecdote--Over-Garments-- + Variety sanctioned by Fashion--Becomingness of different + Styles--Inconvenience and ill-appearance of Shawls--When + Suitable--South American Poncho--Anecdote--New reading of + Lord Nelson's celebrated Naval Orders--Difference between + Talking and Writing, the Author's Apology for numerous + Defects--The Mill-boy of the Slashes--The Author unacquainted + with the Elegancies of modern Fashionable Nomenclature--Terms + of agreement between the Author and his Correspondents, 25 + + +LETTER II. + +DRESS--(_Continued._) + + +STORIES AND ANECDOTES ILLUSTRATIVE OF DRESS. + + THE HERO OF THE BALL-ROOM.--The Author's Liking for Mass + Meetings--A Fete--Louis Philippe and the Militia Officer--A + real Soldier conquered by the Fair!--The "Observed of all + Observers"--A Morning Visit--Dissection of the "Observed of + all Observers"--The Hero of the Ball-Room is consigned to the + "Tomb of the Capulets" in a bright, pea-green, thin Muslin + Shooting-Jacket! 43 + + Anecdote of Bulwer, the Novelist, 48 + + The Green Mountain Boy and his New Cloak, 49 + + Count Orloff at the "Peace Convention," 50 + + THE FASHIONABLE HAT.--A Young Clergyman resolves to Visit + "the City"--His Plans for Economy--A new Black Coat--A Secret + Design--Fashionable Ridicule--The Young Clergyman makes the + mortifying Discovery that he is wearing a "Shocking Bad + Hat"--Reluctantly determines to buy a New One--A Traveller in + an Old "Kossuth"--Test of what is Admissible in the Dress of + the Clergy--Reflections of a "Sadder and a Wiser" Man--The + Uncle and his Little Nephew--"Bradbrook's" and the "Pretty + Coat"--Another Secret "Design--The Tyrant of Social Life, 50 + + The Chief Justice--and the Travelling Gloves of an Exquisite, 54 + + GOV. MARCY AND THE PARISIANS.--The American Secretary of + Legation at St. Cloud, at a Court Dinner--Address of the + Turkish Ambassador--The Distinctive Mark of a Gentleman, 56 + + THE RED CORNELIAN PATE.--Sketch of an Elegant leaning upon a + Bass-viol--Poetry of the Female Voice--An Alpine Party--A + Lady's Avowal--Coxcombs--A Mysterious Stranger--My Lundy-Lane + Sword--A Figure of Speech appropriate to a Sportsman's + Daughter--The "Weed" and the Shawl--An Apple--The "Tug of + War"--The Pitiable Finger! and the Cranberry Pate--Design of + the "Mysterious Stranger"--Jack the Giant-Killer and his + Victim--A Revelation--The Dove and the Vulture, 58 + + Postscript to Letter II.--Letter to the Author from a + Distinguished Man of Fashion--Directions for the Details of + Gentlemen's Dress, on various Occasions--Wedding Costume-- + Morning and Evening--Evening Dress--Dress for Morning + Visits--Costume for Bachelors' Dinner-Parties--General + Remarks upon Colors, etc.--Effect of Black Dress--Blue-- + Brown--Anecdote of Beau Brummel--Opinion of a French + Critic--Importance of the "Cut" of Garments--Ease the First + Essential--An Artistic Air--Wadding, or Stuffing, to be + used in moderation--Sensible Observations of a Man of + Discriminating Taste, 63 + + +LETTER III + +MANNER. + + APHORISM of a Celebrated Observer of Human Nature--Manner + indicative of Character--Benefits of Care and Attention in + Youth--The Fashionable Manner of the Day--Danger of + Affectation in Manner--Americans too often Caricature their + European Models--Good Sense and Manly Independence the best + Guides in the Formation of Manner--True Politeness--Elegant + definition of Politeness by a celebrated Author--Good + Breeding inseparable from the Character of a Gentleman--Sir + Philip Sidney, a Christian Gentleman--Manner the proper + expression of Mental Qualities--The Laws of Convention--Their + proper Use and Applicability--Conduct towards Superiors in + Age and Station one Test of Good Breeding--Example of + Washington in this respect--Polished Manners of the Men of + Revolutionary Days--Bad Taste of Slang Language and + Disrespectful Familiarity in speaking of Superiors or + Parents--Reverence rendered to Age by the Ancients--Rudeness + of "Young America" in this respect--The Law of Kindness a + sure Correction--Possibility of Benefit to be derived from + the consideration of those who have seen the World-- + Disadvantages of early Neglect of Manner--Improvement + always possible, at any age--Benefit of the early Acquisition + of Habits of Self-Control and Self-Possession--Advantage of + proper Examples in this respect, 72 + + THE HANDSOME ENGINEER.--A Railroad Depot and a Dilemma--The + Field-Book and Soiled Boots--The Blessings of Civilization-- + An Honest Saxon Word--The Charge--The Arrival--A Recognition + --A Metamorphosis--The Economy of driving in Dress-Boots-- + A Whisper--The Secret of the Charm of Manner, 79 + + AN AFTER-DINNER COTERIE.--The St. Nicholas Hotel and Santa + Claus--A Pleasant Meeting--A Social Re-Union--The _Dramatis + Personae_ of the Occasion--A Sketch--"Willard's," at + Washington--The weary Child--The Courteous Strangers--A + Grateful Tribute--Charge against American Ladies--Southern + Manner--The Stupid Porter and the _contre-temps_--An + Inference--A Scene in a Country Tavern--A French-Woman and a + Yankee-Woman--Jonathan and the Snuff-box--A Tooth-ache and a + Rocking-chair--Sympathy and Vivacity--The Climax of + Impatience! 82 + + A POLITE YOUNG IRELANDER,--A Fight--An Exclamation--A Fair + Vision, 91 + + +LETTER IV. + +MANNER--(_Continued._) + + PRACTICAL DIRECTIONS.--Senator Sumner's appropriate + Sentence--Primary importance of Manner at Home--A reiterated + Charge--Manner to Parents--Unvarying confidence and reverence + due to a Father--Tenderness of Manner to a Mother--Example of + Washington--A Revolutionary Ball--Nature the best Teacher of + Duty--Too great familiarity, even with Relations, objectionable + --Manner to Brothers and Sisters--No assumption of superiority + justified by Birthright, or Circumstances--Every Man the + Guardian of his Sisters--A Sister's Love--Manner to a Wife-- + The preservation of her Affection--The "Spectator," and a + Sketch of an Old-School Husband--Impressive Teaching--A Plea + for Old-Fashioned Authors--Reverence for the _Lares_ should + be inviolate--The Graces of Manner always discerned by the + Gentler Sex--The Sensibility of Woman--Domestic Politeness-- + Cheerful Manner in conferring Favors--Importance of Trifles, + in this respect--The true nobleness of Manhood--Aphorism of + the Latinists--Manner to Children--Their Innocence and + Susceptibility--The Influence of Example in this regard-- + Children judges of Character--Power of the Law of Love over + the Young--Supremacy of Moral Obligation--Manner not to be + regarded as insignificant by the Christian Gentleman--Manner + to the Unfortunate--Towards Servants and Inferiors--Arrogance + to be avoided--Mode of addressing Domestics--Queen Elizabeth + and her Courtiers--Effect of a pleasant Word and a pleasant + Tone--Peculiar sensitiveness of the Uneducated In this respect + --The professional figure of an old Soldier!--Manifestations + of Sympathy for Inferiors in Station--Readily instructed by + a kind Manner, 98 + + +ANECDOTES AND TALES, ILLUSTRATIVE OF MANNER. + + EMPERORS NOT ALWAYS WELL-BRED.--Manner of Napoleon le Grand + to Women--A Family Levee--Reply of the Mother of Bonaparte to + her Son--Napoleon's stringent enforcement of Court Rules--The + First Consul and the Lady's Train--Josephine's timidity and + her Husband's brutality--Maria Louise's Bridal-Scene--An + almost sacrilegious Misnomer, 104 + + A FATHER'S REBUKE.--A Steamer on the Ohio--The two Friends-- + Cabin-Chit-chat--Youthful mirth reproved--The effect of a + Scene--The fortunate Guest--A Family Mansion and Family + Group--A "Study," 105 + + The Moral Sublime: An Anecdote, 110 + + The Sailor and his Mother, 111 + + THE BROTHERS.--Early Separation--Home Meetings--The pomposity + of the Alderman--A Family Quarrel--The respectful Son--The + Recording Angel--Charley visits the City--A Morning Call--Its + Result, 111 + + Washington Irving's Sketch of an old English Gentleman, 113 + + The Poet Rogers and his Man Friday, 114 + + THE FAMILY GREEN-ROOM, OR LIFE BEHIND THE SCENES.--An old + Soldier Weather-bound--A Morning Sortie--An Invitation-- + Youthful Hospitality--A Nursery Fixture--The "Eldest Son and + Hope of the House"--A playful Salutation--The "Land of + Promise"--An Armful--Lunch--An unexpected Interposition--An + Overland Journey--A Catastrophe--Rubicon Crossing--The + Dolphin--The baked Apple--A "Poor Man"--The "Cup of Cold + Water"--A Stick for each--Spectacled Reconnoitering--Cheerful + Words--Devotional Scene--Scientific Inquiry--A Capture--Escape + by Stratagem--Almost a Martyr--The old Soldier re-visits the + "Mess" of his Camp-ground--A dangerous Invader--Green-room + Asides--A Rehearsal--College Comforts--A Sketch by one of + 'em--A Stage-Trick--Anecdote of John Kemble, the Actor--A + Disclaimer and a Commentary--Exit of a "Star"--Table-Talk, 115 + + +LETTER V. + +MANNER IN DETAIL. + + MANNER IN THE STREET--Upon Meeting a Friend or Acquaintance-- + Proper Mode of Salutation--"Drawing" Gloves--Stopping to + Talk--Tact and Ease--Leaving a Companion in the Street-- + Manner to Inferiors in the Street--Rule, when meeting a + Gentleman-Acquaintance walking with Ladies whom you do not + know--When you are acquainted with both Ladies and Gentlemen + whom you may meet--Shaking Hands with Ladies in the Street at + Meeting or at Parting--Courteous Phrases--Parting Ceremonies + --Precedence in the Street--Taking the Arm of another Man-- + Walking with Ladies--Proper relative Position--Opening Doors, + etc.--When meeting Ladies--Upon being stopped by a Lady-- + Manner to a Stranger Lady--When you wish to Speak with + a Lady in the Street--When wishing to join a Lady in her + Promenade--Proper Caution in this respect--Rule respecting + the Recognition of a Lady--An Awkward Third--Considerations + due to Ladies in case of Street-Accidents--Courtesy to + Ladies who are alighting from a Carriage--Custom of offering + the Arm to Ladies in the Street, when ascending Steps, etc. + --On entering Church, etc., with Ladies--As one of a + Travelling-Party, etc.--Gait in walking with elderly Persons + or Ladies generally--Staring at Ladies in Public Places-- + Manner to Ladies entering an Opera House, at a Pump-Room, + etc.--Audible Comments upon Strangers, 128 + + +SKETCHES ILLUSTRATIVE OF MANNERS. + + THE "CUT" PORTUGUESE.--Newspapers and Coffee--West Point and + a Discussion--A Foreigner's Revenge, 135 + + The Broken Fan: a Lady's Lament, 136 + + The "Iron Duke," and Youthful Reminiscences, 137 + + Unexpected Rencontre--A Stroll and a Compliment--A Gentleman + of the Old School in the Street--A Tribute--A Daughter's + Boast--A Wedding--The Bridal Tour--The Rail-Car--An + Intruder--True Politeness--The Glass of Medical-water--The + Denouement, 137 + + THE LETTER-BOX.--An Exciting Exclamation--A Group for a + Painter--A Query--Entreaties--An Explanatory Prelude--The + Fruitless Search--The Appeal--A Dialogue--An Admission-- + Musical Sounds--A Prosy Inquiry--The Summing up--The Damper + --The Wish of a True Woman--An Insinuation--A Description + drawn from Life--A Valuable Portrait--A Tribute to American + Gentlemen--An Illustration--Stage Politeness to a Lady-- + Acted Poetry: the Poetry of Real Life! 141 + + THE PRISONER OF THE COLLISEUM.--A Moonlight Walk--A Secret + Appeal--The Fair Epicurean--The Recitation--An Apparition + --The Lasso--A Witty Reply--The Guerdon--The Clarion-note-- + A Brilliant--Horseback on the Campagnia of Rome--The Pope's + Cortege--A Recognition--A Denouement--A Confession and the + Retort Courteous--A Sudden Transformation--The Beautiful + Arm--Powers' Studio--The Artist's Discovery--An Intimation, 149 + + +LETTER VI. + +MANNER--(_Continued._) + + +RULES TO BE OBSERVED IN MAKING MORNING VISITS, AND IN SOCIETY +GENERALLY. + + Aversion to Ceremonious Morning Visits--Proper Hours--Suitable + Brevity--Character of Conversation--Card of Announcement-- + Visits made at Hotels--Precautionary Rules--Mode of entering + a Drawing-Room--Drawing-Room Rules--When Meeting other + Visitors--When interrupted--When wishing to leave a Message + or make an Appointment, etc.--Proper Courtesy when Visitors + are taking Leave--Short Visits of mere Ceremony--Attendance + upon Ladies making Morning Visits--Attentions Suitable-- + Introducing--Ladies to take precedence in rising to go away + --Gentlemen calling together--Dress, etc.,--When awaiting + Ladies in a Public Parlor--Standing when Ladies are Standing + --Offering the Arm--Suitable Gait--Minutia of Politeness-- + Morning Wedding-Receptions--Whom you should Congratulate-- + General Directions--Tact and Good Taste--Leaving Cards--Visits + on New-Year's Day--Ceremonious Intercourse with Superiors-- + Manner at Church--Mrs. Chapone's Rule--Self-possession one of + the Distinctive Characteristics of Good-Breeding--Whispering, + Laughing, Staring, etc., to be avoided--Retaining the Hat not + admissible--Salutations at Church--Attending Ladies at + Concerts, Lectures, Opera, etc. etc.--Propriety of Retaining + the Seat you take on Entering--Incommoding Others--Courtesy + due to Those near you--Manner of well-bred Persons in a + Picture Gallery, etc.,--Reverence due to the Beautiful and + the Good--Partaking of Refreshments in Public Places-- + Discourtesy of any Semblance of Intrusiveness--Etiquette in + Joining a Party--Politeness not to be laid aside in + Business-intercourse--Elaborate ceremony unsuitable, at + times--The Secret of Popularity--Manner at a Public Table-- + Courtesy to Others--Self-importance a Proof of Vulgarity-- + "Fast" Feeding--Pardonable Luxuriousness--Staring--Listening + to Private Conversations--Rudeness of Loud Talking and + Laughing, Shrugs, Glances, or Whispers--Courtesy due to a + Lady entering a Dining-Room--To Older Persons--Meeting or + passing Ladies in Public Houses--Influence of Trifles in the + Formation of Character--Frequent Discourtesy in ignoring the + Presence of Ladies in Public Parlors, etc. etc.--Politeness + due to Women, in Practical Emergencies--Nocturnal + Peccadilloes--Travelling--True Rules--Courtesy to Ladies, to + Age, to the Suffering--Indecorum of using Tobacco, etc. etc., + in Public Conveyances--Ceremony a Shield, but not an + Excuse--A Challenge Extraordinary--Anecdote of P----, the + Poet--Practice and Tact essential to secure Polish of + Manner--Life-long Stumbling--Practical Rules, the result of + Annoying Experience--Carriage Hire--Driving with Ladies, + etc.,--Manner in Social Intercourse--As Host--Etiquette of + Dinners at Home--Precedence--Distinguished Guests--A Lady--A + Gentleman--Reception and Introduction of Guests--True + Hospitality as Host, better than mere Ceremony--Manner + towards those unacquainted with Conventional Rules--Manner at + Routs, at Home--Attention to Guests compatible with good + _ton_--Anecdote--Respect to be rendered to all one's + Acquaintances in General Society--To Married Ladies--To + Strangers--The Distinction thus Exhibited between the + Under-bred and the genuine Man of the World--No one + entitled to Self-Excuses in this Regard, 157 + + +ANECDOTES, SKETCHES, ETC. + + A PROPHESY.--Table-Talk--A Rescue and a Lady's Gratitude + --Jealousy Disarmed--Backwoodsmen--Cordiality--Costume and + Courtesy--Retort Courteous--An Interpolation and a Protest + --Mr. Clay's Popularity with the Fair--Secret of his Success + in Society--Mr. Clay and the _Belle Esprit_--A Definition + of Politeness--A Comical Illustration--A Pun--A well-turned + Compliment--Unconsciousness of Self--A Stranger's Impressions + --A Poetic Tribute, 179 + + THE DEVOTEE OF THE BEAUTIFUL.--A Morning Drive--Anticipation + --Spiritual Enjoyment--Discord--A Disappointment, 184 + + THE SOLDIER'S WIFE AND THE GHOUL.--A Journey--The truly Brave + --The Arrival--A Chapter of Accidents--Self-Reproach--The + Ghoul--The Calmness of Despair--The Versatility of Woman-- + But a Step from the Sublime to the Ridiculous--The Ghoul + again--A Defiant Spirit--Punctilious Ceremony, 186 + + A FAIR CHAMPION.--A Query and its Solution--A Sketch--Raillery + --A Tete-a-Tete--An Interruption--"Fashionable" Hospitality-- + Genuine Hospitality--A Mother's Advice--An indignant Spirit-- + Rebellion, 193 + + THE MAN OF ONE IDEA.--An Object for Worship--A Soiree--A + Polite Colloquy--The Host at Ease--A pleasing Hostess--The + Climax, 198 + + Young America--an Anecdote, 200 + + THE PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHER.--A handsome Aristocrat--An + Accusation--A Courteous Neighbor--Fall of a "Fixed Star" + --Favorite Aphorism of Mrs. Combe--The Daughter of the + Siddons, 201 + + +LETTER VII. + +HEALTH. + + +THE TOILET, AS CONNECTED WITH HEALTH. + + The True Basis of Health--Temperance an inclusive Term + --Foundation of the Eminence of J. Q. Adams--His Life a + Model for the Young--His early Habits--Vigorous Old Age-- + Example of Franklin in regard to Temperance--Illustrations + afforded by our National History--The Bath--Varying Opinions + and Constitutions--Imprudent use of the Bath--Bishop Heber-- + General Directions--The Art of Swimming--Sponging-- + Deficiencies of the Toilet in England--Collateral Benefits + arising from habitual Sponge-bathing--The Hair--All Fantastic + Dressing of the Hair in bad taste--Use of Pomades--Vulgarity + of using Strong Perfumes--The Teeth--Use of Tobacco--Smoke + Dispellers--The Nails--The Feet--A complete Wardrobe essential + to Health--Early Rising--Its manifold Advantages--Example of + Washington, Franklin, etc., in this respect--Daniel Webster's + Eulogy upon Morning--Retiring early--Truth of a Medical Dogma + --Opposition of Fashion and Health--Early Hours essential to + the Student--Importance of the early Acquisition of Correct + Habits in this Regard--Illustration--A combination of Right + Habits essential to Health--Exercise--Walking--Pure Air--The + Lungs of a City--Superiority of Morning Air--An Erect Carriage + of the Body in Walking--Periodical Exercise--Necessary Caution + --The Unwise Student--A Warning--A Knowledge of Dietetics and + Physiology requisite to the Preservation of Health--Suitable + Works on these Subjects--Riding and Driving the Accomplishments + of a Gentleman--A Horse a desirable Possession--Testimony of + Dr. Johnson--The Pride of Skill--Needful Caution--Judicious + Selection of _Locale_ for these Modes of Exercise--Dr. Beatie's + Tribute to Nature--Importance of Temperance in Eating and + Drinking, as regards Health--The Cultivation of Simple Tastes + in Eating--Proper Preparation of Food Important to Health-- + Re-action of the Human Constitution--Effect of Bodily Health + upon the Mind--The pernicious Use of Condiments, etc., etc. + --YOUNG AMBITION'S LADDER.--Hours for Meals--Dining Late-- + Injurious Effects of Prolonged Abstinence--The Stimulus of + Distension--Repletion--Necessity of deliberate and thorough + Mastication--Judicious Use of Time in Eating--The Use of Wine, + Tobacco, etc.--The truly Free!--Dr. Johnson's Opinion--Novel + Argument against the Habits of Smoking and Drinking--Advice + of Sir Walter Raleigh to the Young--Then and Now--Council of + a "Looker-on" in this Utilitarian Age--Erroneous Impressions + --Authority of a celebrated Writer--Social Duties--The unbent + Bow--Rational Enjoyment the wisest Obedience to the Natural + Laws--A determined Pursuit in Life essential to Happiness and + Health--Too entire Devotion to a Single Object of Pursuit, + unwise--Arcadian Dreams--Attainable Realities--Truisms--Decay + of the Social and Domestic Virtues--Human Sacrifices-- + Relaxations and Amusements requisite to Health--Superiority + of Amusements in the Open Air for Students and Sedentary + Persons generally--Benefits of Cheerful Companionship-- + Objection to Games, etc., that require Mental Exertion-- + Converse Rule--Fashionable Watering-places ill adapted to + Health--Avocations of the Farmer, Tastes as a Naturalist, + Travel, Sporting, etc., recommended--Depraved Public Taste + --Slavery to Fashion--Habits of Europeans, in this respect, + superior to our own--Modern Degeneracy--Folly thralled by + Pride, 203 + + +ILLUSTRATIVE SKETCHES AND ANECDOTES. + + TO GIVE ETERNITY TO TIME.--The Senate-Chamber and the Dying + Statesman--The Moral Sublime, 225 + + JONATHAN'S SINS AND A FOREIGNER'S PECCADILLO.--Celebrities + --Dinner-table Sallies--Grave Charges--Yankee Rejection of + Cold Meats--Self-Preservation the First Law of Nature!-- + A Mystery Solved--National Impartiality--Anecdote--Storming + a Fort--Successful Defence, by a Lady, of herself!--A + Stratagem--The Daughter of a Gun--An Explanation--The + Tortures of Outraged Modesty, 226 + + Dr. Abernethy and his Yankee Patient, 232 + + COSMOPOLITAN CHIT-CHAT.--A Heterogeneous Party--The Golden + Horn--Contemplations in a Turkish Caique--A Discussion-- + "Christian Dogs" and the Dogs of Constantinople--An + unpleasant Discovery--A Magical Touch--The Song of the + Caidjis--A National Example, 232 + + THE IMPERTURBABLE GUEST.--A Dinner-Table Scene, 238 + + The Youth and the Philosopher: Lines by Whitehead, 239 + + +LETTER VIII. + +LETTER-WRITING. + + Importance of this Branch of Education--Its Frequent Neglect + --Usual Faults of the Epistolary Style--Applicability of + the rule of the Lightning-Tamer--Variety of Styles appropriate + to varying Subjects and Occasions--Impossibility of laying + down all-inclusive General Rules--Requisites of Letters of + Business--Legibility in Caligraphy--Affectation in this + respect--Avoidance of Servile Imitation--Advantage of + possessing a good Business-hand--Time-saving Importance of + Rapidity--Letters of Introduction--Form Suitable for Ordinary + Purposes--Specimen of Letters Introducing a Person in Search + of a Business Situation, Place of Residence, etc., etc.-- + Introduction of Artists, Professional Men, etc.--Presenting a + Celebrity by Letter--Proper Attention to Titles, Modes of + abbreviating Titles, etc., etc.--Letters of Introduction to + be unsealed--Manner of Delivering Letters of Introduction-- + Cards, Envelopes, Written Messages, etc., proper on such + Occasions--Appointments and due Courtesy, etc.--Form of + Letter to a Lady of Fashion--Etiquette in regard to Addresses + --Letters Presenting Foreigners--Personal Introductions-- + Common Neglect of Etiquette in this respect--Proper Mode of + Introducing Young Persons, or those of inferior social + position--Of Introducing Men to Women, very Young Ladies, + etc.--Voice and Manner on such Occasions--Explanations due to + Strangers--Common Social Improprieties--American Peculiarity + --Hotel Registers, etc.--Courtesy due to Relations as well as + to Strangers--Impropriety of indiscriminate Introductions-- + Preliminary Ceremonies among Men--In the Street--At Dinners + --Evening-Parties--Receptions--Conventional Rules subject to + Changes, dictated by good-sense--Supremacy of the Law of + Kindness--Visiting Cards--European Fashion of Cards--Style + usual in America--Place of Residence--Phrases for Cards + --Business Cards: Ornaments, Devices, Color, Size, + Legibility, etc.--Letters of Recommendation--Moral + Characteristic--Proper Style of Letters of Condolence-- + Form of Letters of Congratulation--Admissibility of Brevity + --Letters to Superiors--Ceremonious Form for such + Communications--Proper Mode of Addressing Entire Strangers + --Common Error in this respect--Punch's Sarcasm--Diplomats + and Public Functionaries should be Models in Letter-writing + --An Enigma--Diplomatic Letters--Letters of Friendship and + Affection--General Requisites of Epistolary Composition-- + Letters a Means of conferring and Receiving Pleasure-- + Distinctive Characteristic of the Epistolary Style-- + Peccadilloes--Aids facilitating the Practice in this + Accomplishment--Notes of Invitation, Acceptance, Regret + --Observance of Usage--Simplicity the best _ton_ and taste + --Etiquette with regard to Invitations to Dinner--Courtesy + in Matters of Social Life--Error of an American Author-- + Ceremony properly preceding taking an uninvited Friend to + a Party--Abstract good-breeding the best Test of Propriety + --Proper form of Ceremonious Notes of Invitation--Use of + the Third Person in writing Notes--Mailed Letters--Local + Addresses, Form of Signature, etc., etc.--Requisites of + Letter-Superscription--Writing-Materials--Small Sheets, + Margins, etc.--Colored Paper, Fanciful Ornaments, Initials, + &c.--Envelopes and Superscription--Wax, Seals, etc.--European + Letters--Rule--Promptitude in Letter-writing--Study of + Published Models beneficial to the Young--Scott, Byron, + Moore, Horace Walpole, Washington--Sir W. W. Pepys, etc. + --Curiosities of the Epistolary Style--Anticipated Pleasure, 241 + + +ILLUSTRATIONS. + + THE WARNING--A SKETCH OF NILE-TRAVEL.--A Group and a Dialogue + amid the Ruins of Thebes--Mustapha Aga and the Temple of + Karnac--The Arrival--The Distribution--Delights, + Disappointments, and Despair, 268 + + Anecdote of the Mighty Wizard of the North, 273 + + A DRAWING-ROOM COTERIE OF CRITICISM.--The Library and the + Intruder--Paternal Authority--Condemnation--Comments and + Criticisms--A Compliment--A fair Bevy--Wit and Wisdom-- + Sport and Seriousness--A Model Note and a Fair Eulogist-- + Paternal Approbation--What American Merchants should be + --An Anecdote--Discoveries and Accessions--_Apropos_--Fair + Play and a _Ruse_--A Group of Critics--An Invitation--A + Rival--An Explanation and an Admission--A Rescue and Retreat + --An Old Man's Privilege--Seventeen and Eighty-two--May and + December, 273 + + The First Billet-Doux, 284 + + +LETTER IX. + +ACCOMPLISHMENTS. + + Comparative Importance of Accomplishments--Difference between + Europeans and Americans in this regard--Self-Education the + most Useful--Peculiar Incentives to Self-Culture possessed by + Americans--Cultivation of a Taste for the Ideal Arts-- + Desirableness of a Knowledge of Drawing--Incidental Benefit + resulting from the Practice of this Art--A Taste for Music-- + Mistaken Conceptions of the Importance of this Accomplishment + --Advantage of learning Dancing--Desirableness of Riding and + Driving--Various Athletic Exercises--A ready and graceful + Elocution of great Importance--A Source of Social Enjoyment + --The Art of Conversation--Use of Slang Phrases--Disadvantages + of Occasional Lenity towards the Corruptions of Language-- + The only Safe Rule--Common want of Conversational Power-- + The Superiority of the French over all other People in this + Respect--The Salons of Paris--Pleasures of the _Canaille_-- + French Children--Practice essential to Success--The + Embellishments of Conversation--Habits of a Celebrated Talker + --Anecdote of Sheridan--Some Preparation not Unsuitable before + going into Society--Qualities most essential to secure + Popularity in General Society--The "Guilt of giving + Pain"--Avoidance of Personalities--The Language of + Compliment--Two Good Rules--Reprehensibleness of the Habit of + indulging in Gossip, Scandal, or Puerile Conversation--The + Records of "Heaven's High Chancery"--Importance of Exact + Truthfulness in Conversation--The Capacity of adapting + Language to Occasions of Importance--Use of Foreign Phrases + or Words--Tact and Good-Breeding the Safest Guides in such + Matters--Advantage of the Companionship of Cultivated + Persons, in Promoting Conversational Skill--Misuse of Strong + Language--Conversational Courtesies--Aphorism by Mr. + Madison--Modesty Proper to the Young in this Respect--Bad + taste of talking of one's self in Society--The World an + Unsuitable Confidant--Quotation from Carlyle--Sympathy with + Others--The softer graces of Social Intercourse--Cheerfulness + universally Agreeable--A Glee in which Everybody can join + --Anecdote--Human Sunbeams--Judicious selection of + Conversational Topics--Avoidance of Assumption and + Dictatorialness--Proper Regard for the Right of Opinion + --Courtesy due to Ladies and Clergymen--Folly of + Promulgating Peculiarities of Religious Opinion--Rudeness + of manifesting Undue Curiosity respecting the Affairs of + Others--Boasting of Friends--Anecdote--Quickness at Repartee, + one of the Colloquial Graces--Dean Swift and his "fellow"-- + Anecdote of the Elder Adams--A Ready and Graceful Reply + to a Compliment not to be Disregarded among the Elegancies + of Conversation--The Retort Courteous--Lady Hamilton and + Lord Nelson--Specimens of Polite Phraseology--General + Conversation with Ladies--Essential Characteristics of + Light Conversation--Improprieties and Familiarities-- + Disagreeable Peculiarities--A Dismal Character--Anecdote + of Cuvier--Tact in Avoiding Personal Allusions--Peculiarity + of American Society--Ages of the Loves and Graces--A Young + Jonathan and an English Girl--Violation of Confidence-- + Sacredness of Private Conversations--Politeness of a Ready + Compliance with the Wishes of Others in Society, 286 + + +ILLUSTRATIVE ANECDOTES AND SKETCHES. + + SANG FROID AND SANDWICHES.--A Ride with a Duke--The eager + young Sportsman--A Rencontre--A Query and a Response--A + substantial _Bonne Bouche_, 312 + + A Frenchman's Relaxation, 314 + + Polemics and Politeness--Watering-place Society--Omnibus + Orations--Sulphur-water and Sacrifices--Religionists, Ladies + and License, Reaction and Remorse, 315 + + An unexpected Declaration--Parisian _furore_--The unknown + Patient--Practice and Pathos, 317 + + The Three Graces--Honor to whom Honor was Due--A Group for a + Sculptor--Woman's Wit, 318 + + Scene in a Drawing-room, 320 + + Musical Mania--Guitar playing and the play of Intellect, 321 + + A Fair Discussion, 323 + + National Dialect--A Bagatelle, 324 + + A Murillo and a Living Study--A Morning in the Louvre with a + congenial Friend--A Painter's Advice--True Epicureanism, 326 + + Ready Elocution and Ready Wit--A Congressional Sketch, 327 + + +LETTER X. + +HABIT. + + HABIT always Indicative of Character--Its Importance not + properly estimated by the Young--Rudeness and Republicanism + too often Synonymous--Fashion not always Good-breeding-- + Social American Peculiarities--Manners of Americans abroad + --Rowdyism at the Tuileries--The Propriety of Learning from + Older Nations the lighter Elegancies of Life--Madame Soule + and the Queen of Spain--The tie of a Cravat and the Affairs + of "Change"--George Peabody a Model American--The distinctive + name of Gentleman--Great Importance of Suitable Associates-- + Spanish Proverb--The true Social Standard--Safeguard against + Eccentricity--Habits of Walking, Standing, Sitting-- + Directions--Aaron Burr and De Witt Clinton--Bachelor + Privileges--Decorum in the presence of Ladies--Carrying the + Hat, ease of Attitude, etc.--Benefits of habitual + Self-Restraint--Habits at Table--Eating with a Knife--Soiling + the Lips, Picking the Teeth, etc., etc.--Nicety In Matters of + Detail--Courtesy due to others--Manner to Servants in + Attendance at Table--Avoidance of Sensuousness of Manner-- + French Mode of Serving Dinners--The Art of Carving--Helping + Ladies at Table--Rule in Carving Joints of Meat--Changing the + Plate--Proper Mode of Taking Fish--Game--Butter at Dinner-- + English Custom--Details of Habit at Table--Rights of Freemen-- + A Just Distinction--Unhealthfulness of drinking too much at + Dinner--Fast Eating of Fast Americans--Sitting upon two Legs + of a Chair--Anecdote--Habits of using the Handkerchief--Toying + with the Moustache, etc., etc.--Ladies careful Observers of + Minutiae--Belief of the Ancient Gauls respecting Women--Habits + of Swaggering in Public Places--General Suggestions--Ladies + and Invalids in Terror of a Human War-Horse--Courtesy due + while playing Chess and other Games--Self-control in Sickness + --Premature adoption of Eye-Glasses--Affectation in this + respect--Proper Attitude while Reading or Studying--Habits + of Early Rising--A Poetic Superstition unwarranted by Health + and Truth--Variance between Health and Fashion in regard to + Early Hours--Aphorism by Gibbon--Habit of taking Nostrums-- + Avoidance of Quacks--Habit of acting as the Protectors of + the Dependent Sex--Effect of Trifling Habits upon the + Opinions formed of us by Women--Habits of handling Prints, + Bijouterie, and Boquets, of Smoking, Whispering and Ogling, + to be shunned--Importance of Methodical Habits of Reading + and Studying--Value of the Gold Dust of Time--Anecdote-- + True Rule for Reading to Advantage--Habit of Reading aloud + --Great Importance of a Habit of Industry--The Superiors of + mere Genius--Habits of Cheerfulness and Contentment not to + be overlooked by the Young--Cultivation of Habitual + Self-Respect--Pride and Poverty not Necessarily Antagonistic + --Self-Respect a Shield against the Shafts of Calumny--True + Honor not affected by Occupation or Position--Benefits of + a Habit of Self-Examination--The habitual Study of the + Scriptures recommended--CHRIST, the Great Model of Humanity + --Ungentlemanly Habit of being late at Church, etc.-- + Pernicious Effects of prevalent Materialism--Personal + Enjoyment resulting from habitually idealizing all Mental + Associations with Women--Defencelessness an Impassable + Barrier to Oppression from true Manhood--Impropriety of + speaking loudly to Ladies in public Places, of attracting + Attention to them, their Names and Prerogatives--Safe Rule in + this regard--The Habit of Sympathy with Human Suffering a + Christian duty--Mistaken Opinion of Young Men in this + respect--The Examples presented by the Lives of the Greatly + Good--Mighty Achievements in the Cause of Humanity in the + Power of a Few--Habits of Good-Humor, Neatness, Order and + Regularity due to others--Fastidious Nicety in Matters of the + Toilet, demanded by proper respect for our daily Associates + --The Importance of Habits of Exercise, Temperance and + Relaxation--Economy to be Cultivated as a Habit--Economy + not Degrading--Habit of Punctuality--Slavery to mere System + condemned--Remark of Sir Joshua Reynolds--Habit of + Perseverance--Value of the Habit of putting Ideas into + Words--Of Habits of Reflection and Observation--Of rendering + Respect to Age, etc.--Culture of Esthetical Perceptions-- + American Peculiarity--Curiosity not tolerated among the + well-bred--The inestimable value of Self-Possession--Its + Natural Manifestations--Concluding Advice, 329 + + +ILLUSTRATIONS. + + JONATHAN AND QUEEN VICTORIA.--A Stroll through the World's + Palace--A Royal Party--The Yankee Enthroned--A Confession, 362 + + DAMON AND PYTHIAS MODERNIZED.--A Family Council--A Celebrity + and a Hotel Dinner--A Discovery--A Sketch--Telegraphing and + Triumph--Beer and a Break-down--Drawing-room Chit-chat--A + Young Lady's Eulogy--Retort Courteous--A New Acquaintance-- + An Explanation--Dinner the Second--Sense and Sensibility--A + Ruse--A Request and Appointment--A Contrast--Catastrophy--A + Note and a Disappointment--Fair Frankness--An Unexpected + Rencontre--The Re-union--Pictures and Pleasantries--The + Protector of the Helpless, 363 + + A VISIT TO ABBOTSFORD.--Sir Walter Scott as Colonel of + Dragoons, Sheriff of the County, Host, Friend, and Author + --Mrs. Hemans and Little "Charley"--Courteous Hospitality + --At Driburg with Mr. Lockhart--Solution of a Mystery-- + Sir Walter's favorite "Lieutenant," 382 + + Confession of a Celebrated Orator, 385 + + THE LEMON AND THE CARNATION.--A Stage-Coach Adventure--A + fair Passenger--Churlishness and Cheerfulness--A Comic + Duet--Stage-Sickness--An impromptu Physician--Offerings + --Acknowledgments--A Docile Patient--Welcome Home--Arrival + --A Family Group--A Discovery--Recognition--An Invitation + --Hospitality--Sunday Evening at the Rectory--The Honorable + Occupation of Teaching Young Ladies--A Prophesy--Family Jars + --A Compliment, 386 + + A Notability and his Newfoundland Dog, 400 + + EXTREMES MEET.--European Travelling-Companion--A cool + Place and a "cool" Character--A Foreigner's Criticism-- + Fair Commentators--Dinner-table Sketch--Three Parties in + a Rail-Car--Sunshine and Showers--An Earth-Angel--Anecdote + of Thorwalsden, the Danish Sculptor--A Scene--Gentlemanly + Inquiries--Paddy's Explanation, 401 + + HAVE YOU BEEN IMPATIENT?--A Broken Engagement--About a Horse + --Charley's Orphan Cousin--Ideas of Luxury--Novel Experiences + --The freed Bird--Bless God for Flowers and Friends!--A + Recoil--A Tirade--The Bird Re-caged--Self-Examination-- + Retrospection and Resolution--A Note and a Boquet--A Blush + Transfixed, 412 + + +LETTER XI. + +MENTAL AND MORAL EDUCATION. + + The Author's Conscious Incapacity--Education within the Power + of All--Americans not Socially Trammelled--The Two Attributes + of Mind essential to Self-Culture--Prospective Discernment-- + The most enlightened System of Education--Duty of Cultivating + the Moral as well as the Intellectual Nature--The Acquisition + of Wealth not to be regarded as the highest Human Attainment + --Definition of Self-Culture--Reading for Amusement only, + Unwise--"Aids and Appliances" of Judicious Reading--Example + of a Great Man--Fictitious Literature--Pernicious Effects + often resulting from a Taste for Light Reading--Condemnation + of Licentious Novels--Advantages of Noting Choice Passages + in Reading--Carlyle's Criticism of Public Men--The Study of + History of Great Importance--Benefits resulting from the + Perusal of well-selected Biographies--Enumeration of + celebrated Works of this Character--Newspaper and Magazine + Reading--A Cultivated Taste in Literature and Art the result + of thorough Mental Training--Affectation and Pretention in + this regard to be avoided--Critical Assumption condemned-- + Impressions produced upon observing Judges by a Pretentious + Manner--"The World's Dread Laugh"--Advantages of Foreign + Travel--Misuse of this Advantage--Knowledge of Modern + Languages essential to a complete Education--False Impression + prevalent on this point--Philosophic Wisdom--Wise Covetousness + --Tact the Result of General Self-Culture--An Individual Moral + Code of advantage--Example of Washington--Education not + completed by a Knowledge of Books--Definition of True + Education--The Development of the Moral Perceptions promotive + of Intellectual Advancement--Undue Exaltation of Talent over + Virtue--Religious Faith the legitimate Result of + rightly-directed Education--Needful Enlightenment of + Conscience--The Life of Jesus Christ the best Moral + Guide-Book--Charity to the Faults of others the Result of + Self-Knowledge--The Golden Rule of the Great Teacher--The + highest Aim of Humanity--Reverence for the Spiritual Nature + of Man the Result of Self-Culture--Danger of Self-Indulgence + in regard to trifling Errors--Caution against the Infidel + Philosophy of the Times--The establishment of Fixed + Principles of Action--The True Mode of computing Life, 438 + + The Attainment of Knowledge under Difficulties--Necessity the + Nurse of True Greatness--The Learned Blacksmith--The Wagoner + --The Mill-Boy of the Slashes--Franklin and Webster, 439 + + A Peep at Passers-by, from the "Loopholes of Retreat," 440 + + The Force of Genius--A Man about Town--Anecdote--Manly + Indignation, 441 + + Old-Fashioned Honor, 442 + + Webster on Biblical Studies, 443 + + The Young Frenchman and the Pyramids, 443 + + PECCADILLOES AND PUNCTILIOUSNESS.--Extract--Sir Humphrey + Davy--Tribute to Religion, 446 + + +LETTER XII. + +CHOICE OF COMPANIONS AND FRIENDS.--SELECTION OF A PURSUIT IN +LIFE.--COURTSHIP.--MARRIAGE.--HOUSEKEEPING.--PECUNIARY MATTERS. + + RULE to be observed in the Selection of Associates--Advantage + of the Companionship of Persons of more Experience than + Ourselves--False Sentiments entertained by Lord Byron + regarding Friendship--Self-Consciousness affords the best + Contradiction to these Erroneous Opinions--Value of + Friendship--Importance of the Judicious Selection of + Confidants--Folly of demanding Perfection in one's Friends + --Selection of Employment--The first Consideration in this + Relation--Thorough Education should not be confined to + Candidates for the Learned Professions--The Merchant Princes + of America--Avenues for Effort--All Honest Occupations + dignified by Right Conduct--The Pursuit of Wealth as an + End--Freedom the Prerogative of the Worker--A Professional + Manner Condemned--Individual Insignificance--Advantages of + Early Marriage--Cause of prevalent Domestic Unhappiness--Each + Individual the best Judge of his own Conjugal Requisites-- + Health, Good-Temper, and Education essential in a Wife-- + Accomplishments not essential to Domestic Happiness-- + Disadvantages resulting from a previous Fashionable Career + --A True Wife--Respect due to the proper Guardians of a Lady + by her Suitor--Advantages of a Friendship with a Married Lady + --Reserve and Respect of Manner due to Female Friends--Manly + Frankness as a Suitor the only Honorable Course--Attachment + to one Woman no Excuse for Rudeness to others--The Art of + Pleasing--Presents, Complimentary Attentions, etc.--Nicety + of Perception usual in Women--Power of the Law of Kindness + in Home-Life--The Slightest Approach to Family Dissension to + be carefully avoided--The Duty of a Husband to exert a Right + Influence over his Wife--Union of Spirit the only Satisfying + Bond--More than Roman Sternness assumed by some--Sacredness + of all the Better Emotions of the Human Heart--Expressive + Synonymes--Pecuniary Matters--The Pernicious Effects of + Boarding--An Old Man's Advice--Household Gods--Propriety of + Providing for Future Contingencies--Slavery Imposed by Pride + and Poverty--Comfort and Refinement compatible with Moderate + Resources--Books and Works of Art to be preferred to Fine + Furniture--Importance of Cherishing the Esthetical Tastes of + Children--"Keeping" a great Desideratum in Social and + Domestic Life, 447 + + +ILLUSTRATIVE SKETCHES, ETC. + + THE MOOTED POINT.--A Morning Visit and Morning Occupations-- + Macaulay and the Blanket Coat--Curate's Daughters and the + Daughters of New-England--A Sybarite--A Disclaimer and a + Witticism--Not a Gentleman--"Trifles make the sum of Human + Things"--The Slough of Despond--A Gift--Reading Poetry-- + A Soldier's Tactics--The "Unpardonable Sin"--A Fair Champion + and a Noble Sentiment, 463 + + Anecdotes of a British Minister, an Ex-Governor, and an + American Statesman, 470 + + Chief-Justice Marshall and the Young Man of Fashion, 472 + + Habits of Early Friends, 478 + + THE PROPHECY FULFILLED.--A Denouement--Cupid turned Carrier-- + Wedding-Cards and Welcome News--A True Woman's Letter, 478 + + Uncle Hal's Farewell, 480 + + + + +THE +AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE. + + + + +LETTER I. + +DRESS. + + +MY DEAR YOUNG FRIENDS:-- + +As you are already, to some extent, acquainted with the design and scope +of the Letters I propose to address to you, there is no necessity for an +elaborate prelude at the commencement of the series. + +We will, with your permission, devote our attention first to _Dress_--to +the external man--and advance, in accordance with the true rules of Art, +gradually, towards more important subjects. + +Whatever may be the abstract opinions individually entertained +respecting the taste and regard for comfort evinced in the costume now, +with trifling variations, almost universally adopted by men in all +civilized lands, few will dispute the practical utility of conforming to +the general requisitions of Fashion. + +Happily for the gratification of fancy, however, the all-potent goddess, +arbitrary and imperative as are her laws, permits, at least to some +extent, such variations from her general standard as personal +convenience, physical peculiarities, or varying circumstances may +require. + +But a due regard for these and similar considerations by no means +involves the exhibition of _eccentricity_, which I hold to be +inconsistent with good taste, whether displayed in dress or manner. + +A violation of the established rules of Convention cannot easily be +defended, except when required by our obligations to the more strenuous +requirements of duty. Usually, however, departures from conventional +propriety evince simply an ill-regulated character. The Laws of +Convention, like all wise laws, are instituted to promote "the greatest +good of the greatest number." They constitute a _Code of Politeness and +Propriety_, adapted to the promotion of social convenience, varying +somewhat with local circumstances, it may be, but everywhere +substantially the same. It is common to talk of the eccentricities of +genius, as though they are essential concomitants of genius itself. +Nothing can be more unfounded and pernicious than this impression. The +eccentricities that sometimes characterize the intellectually gifted, +are but so many humiliating proofs of the imperfection of human nature, +even when exhibiting its highest attributes. Hence the affectation of +such peculiarities simply subjects one to ridicule, and, in many +instances, to the contempt of sensible people. + +Some years since, when Byron was the "bright, particular star" +worshipped by young Sophs, it was quite a habit among our juvenile +collegians to drink gin, wear their collars _a la mode de Byron_, +cultivate misanthropy upon system, and manifest the most concentrated +horror of seeing women eat! In too many instances, the sublimity of +genius was meagerly illustrated by these aspirants for notoriety. In +place of catching an inspiration, they only caught cold; their gloomy +indifference to the hopes, the enjoyments, and pursuits of ordinary +life, distressed no one, save, perhaps, their _ci-devant_ nurses, or the +"most tender of mothers;" their "killing" peculiarities of costume were +scarcely daguerreotyped even upon the impressible hearts of the +school-girls whose smiling observance they might chance passingly to +arrest; women of sense and education pertinaciously adhered to a liking +for roast beef, with variations, and manifested an equally decided +partiality for the society and attention of men who were not indebted +for the activity of their intellects to the agency of the juniper berry! +Falling into such absurdities as these, a man cannot hope to escape the +obnoxious imputation of being _very young_! + +But while care is taken to avoid the display of undue attention to the +adornment of the outer man, everything approaching to indifference or +neglect, in that regard, should be considered equally reprehensible. No +one entertains a more profound respect for the prodigious learning of +Dr. Johnson, from knowing that he often refused to dine out rather than +change his linen; nor are we more impressed by the gallant tribute to +kindred genius that induced his attending Mrs. Siddons to her carriage, +when she visited him in the third-floor rooms he continued to occupy +even in his old age, because his trunk-hose were dangling about his +heels, as he descended the stairs with his fair guest. One does not envy +Porson, the greatest of modern Greek scholars, his habitually dirty and +shabby dress, because it is forever associated with his learned +celebrity! Neither is Greeley a better, or more influential editor, that +he is believed to be invisible to mortal eyes except when encased in a +long drab-colored overcoat. He, however, seems to have adopted an axiom +laid down in a now almost-forgotten novel much admired in my +youth--"Thaddeus of Warsaw," I think--"Acquire the character of an +oddity, and you seat yourself in an easy-chair for life." The +supposition of monomania most charitably explains the indulgence in +habits so disgusting as those well-known to have characterized the +distinguished _savant_ ----, who died recently at Paris. Had he slept in +a clean bed, and observed the decencies of life, generally, the race +would have been equally benefited by his additions to scientific lore, +and his country the more honored that he left a name in no degree in +_bad odor_ with the world! + +But to return:--No better uninspired model for young Americans exists +than that afforded, in the most minute details, of the life and +character of Washington; and even upon a point comparatively so +insignificant as that we are at present discussing, he has left us his +recorded opinion: "Always," he writes to his nephew, "have your clothes +made of the best materials, by the most accomplished persons in their +business, whose services you can command, and in the prevailing +fashion." + +With such illustrious authority for the advice, then, I unhesitatingly +counsel you to dress _in the fashion_. + +To descend to particulars designed to include all the minutiae of a +gentleman's wardrobe, were as futile as useless; but a few hints upon +this point, may, nevertheless, not be wholly out of place in epistles so +frank, practical and familiar as these are intended to be. + +The universal partiality of our countrymen for _black_, as the color of +dress clothes, at least, is frequently remarked upon by foreigners. +Among the best dressed men on the continent, as well as in England, +black, though not confined to the clergy, is in much less general use +than here. They adopt the darker shades of blue, brown and green, and +for undress almost as great diversity of colors as of fabrics. An +English gentleman, for instance, is never seen in the morning (which +means abroad all that portion of the twenty-four hours devoted to +business, out-door amusements and pursuits, &c.;--it is always _morning_ +until the late dinner hour has passed) in the half-worn coat of fine +black cloth, that so inevitably gives a man a sort of shabby-genteel +look; but in some strong-looking, rough, knock-about "fixin," +frequently of nondescript form and fashion, but admirably adapted both +in shape and material for use--for work. Of this, by the way, every man, +worthy of the name, has a daily portion to perform, in some shape or +other--from the Duke of Devonshire, with a fortune that would purchase +half-a-dozen consort-king-growing German principalities, and leave a +princely inheritance for his successors, to the youngest son of a +youngest son, who, though proud of the "gentle blood" in his veins, +earns, as an _employe_ in the service of the government,--in some one of +its ten thousand forms of patronage and power--the limited salary that +barely suffices, when eked out by the most ingenious economy, to supply +the hereditary necessities of a gentleman. But this is a digression. As +I was saying in the morning, during work-hours, whatever be a man's +employment, and wherever, his outside garb should be suited to ease and +convenience, its only distinctive marks being the most scrupulous +cleanliness, and the invariable accompaniment of fresh linen. + +Coming to the discussion of matters appertaining to a toilette elaborate +enough for occasions of ceremony, I think of no better general rule than +that laid down by Dr. Johnson (in his character of a shrewd observer of +men and manners, rather than as himself affording an illustration of the +axiom, perhaps)--"_the best dressed persons are those in whose attire +nothing in particular attracts attention_." + +There is an indescribable air of refinement, a _je ne sais quoi_, as +the French have it, at an equal remove from the over-washed look of your +thorough Englishman (their close-cropped hair always reminds me of the +incipient stage of preparation for assuming a strait-jacket!) and the +walking tailor's advertisement that perambulates Fifth Avenue, +Chestnut-street, the Boston Mall, and other fashionable promenades in +our cis-Atlantic cities, in attendance upon the locomotive milliner's +show-cases, yclept "belles"--God save the mark! + +The essentials of a gentleman's dress, for occasions of ceremony are--a +stylish, well-fitting cloth coat, of some dark color, and of +unexceptionable quality; nether garments to correspond, or in warm +weather, or under other suitable circumstances, white pants of a +fashionable material and make; the finest and purest linen, embroidered +in white, if at all; a cravat and vest, of some dark or neutral tint, +according to the physiognomical peculiarities of the wearer, and the +_prevailing mode_; a fresh-looking, fashionable black hat and +carefully-fitted, modish boots, light-colored gloves, and a soft, thin, +white handkerchief. + +Perhaps, the most arbitrary of earthly divinities permits her subjects +more license in regard to the arrangement of the hair and beard, than +with respect to any other matter of the outer man. A real artist, and +such every man should be, who meddles with the "human face divine" or +its adjuncts, will discern at a glance the capabilities of each head +submitted to his manipulation. Defects will thus be lessened, or wholly +concealed, and good points brought out. + +If you wear your beard, wear it in moderation--extremes are always +vulgar! Avoid all fantastic arrangements of the hair--turning it under +in a huge roll, smooth as the cylinder of a steam-engine, and as little +suggestive of good taste and comfort as would be the coil of a boa +constrictor similarly located, parting it in Miss Nancy style, and +twisting it into love [soap?] locks with a curling-tongs, or allowing it +to straggle in long and often, seemingly, "uncombed and unkempt" masses +over the coat-collar. This last outrage of good-taste is so gross a +violation of what is technically called "keeping," as to excite in me +extreme disgust. Ill, indeed, does it accord with the trim, compact, +easily-portable costume of our day, and a miserable imitation, it is of +the flowing hair that, in days of yore, fell naturally and gracefully +upon the broad lace collar turned down over the velvet or satin +short-cloak of the cavaliers and appropriately adorning shoulders upon +which, with equal fitness, drooped a long, waving plume, from the +wide-brimmed, steeple-crowned, picturesque hat that completed the +costume. + +While on this subject of _collars_, etc., let us stop to discuss for a +moment the nice matter of their size and shape. Just now, like the +"life" of a "poor old man," they have "dwindled to the shortest span," +under the pruning shears of the operatives of the mode. Whether this is +the result of a necessity growing with the lengthening beards that +threaten wholly to ignore their existence, you must determine for +yourselves, but I must enter my protest against the total extinction of +this relieving line of white, so long, at least, as the broad wristband, +now so appropriately accompanying the wide coat-sleeve, shall remain in +vogue. + +The mention of this last tasteful appendage naturally brings to mind the +highly ornate style of sleeve-buttons now so generally adopted. Eschew, +I pray you, all _flash stones_ for these or any other personal ornament. +Nothing is more unexceptionable for sleeve-buttons and the fastenings of +the front of a shirt, than _fine gold_, fashioned in some simple form, +sufficiently massive to indicate use and durability, and skillfully and +handsomely wrought, if ornamented at all. Few young men can consistently +wear diamonds, and they are, if not positively exceptionable, in no +degree requisite to the completion of the most elaborate toilette. But +those who do sport them, should confine themselves to genuine stones of +unmistakable water, and never let their number induce in the minds of +beholders the recollection that a travelling Jew--whether from +hereditary distrust of the stability of circumstances, or from some +other consideration of personal convenience, usually carries his entire +fortune about his person! Better the simplest fastenings of +mother-of-pearl than such staring vulgarity of display. And so of a +watch and its appendages. A _gentleman_ carries a watch for convenience, +and secures it safely upon his person, wearing with it no useless +ornament, paraded to the eye. It is, like his pencil and purse, good of +its kind, and if he can afford it, handsome, but it is never _flashy_! + +The fashion of sporting _signet-rings_ is not so general, perhaps, as it +was a little while since, but it still retains a place among the minutiae +of our present theme. Here, again, the same general rules of good taste +apply as to other ornaments. When worn at all, everything of this sort +should be most unexceptionably and unmistakably tasteful and genuine. +Any deviation from good _ton_, in this regard, will as inevitably give a +man the air of a loafer as an ill-fitting boot will, or the slightest +declension from the perpendicular in his hat! + +In connection with my earnest advice in regard to all flash ornaments, +to whatever purpose applied, I must not omit to record my protest +against staring patterns in pants, cravats, vests, etc. Carefully avoid +all the large, many-colored plaids and stripes, of which (as _Punch_ has +demonstrated) it takes more than one ordinary-sized man to show the +pattern; and all glaring colors as well. I have no partiality, as I +believe I have intimated, for the eternal dead black which, abroad at +least, belongs, by usage, primarily to the clergy; but this is a better +extreme than that which has for its original type the sign-board +getting-up of a horse-jockey. + +A fashion has of late years obtained extensively, which has always, +within my remembrance, had its admirers--that of a _white suit +throughout_, for very warm weather. This has the great merit of comfort, +and some occupations permit its adoption without inconvenience. But +even the use of thin summer cravats (which should always be of some +unconspicuous color) wonderfully mitigates the sufferings incident to +the dog-days, and these are admissible for dress occasions, when +corresponding with the general effect of the vest and nether +investments. + +To recur once more to the important item of body linen;--never wear a +_colored_[1] shirt--have no such article in your wardrobe. Figures and +stripes do not conceal impurity, nor should this be a desideratum with +any decent man. The now almost obsolete German author, Kotzebue--whose +plays were very much admired when I was young, and whom your modern +students of German should read in the original--I remember, makes one of +his female characters, a sensible, observing woman, say that she +detected a _gentleman_ in the disguise of a menial by observing the +_fineness of his linen_! If your occupation be such as to require +strong, rough-and-tumble garments, wear them, unhesitatingly, when you +are at work, but have them good of their kind, and keep them clean. +While your dress handkerchief should not look, either for size or +quality, as if you had, for the nonce, perverted the proper use of +bed-linen--in the woods, for pioneer travelling, rough riding, etc., a +bandanna is more sensible, as is a cut-away coat, or something of that +sort, with ample pockets, loose, strong, and warm, and a "soft" +broad-brimmed, durable hat, or cap, as the case may be--not an old, fine +black cloth dress-coat, surmounted by a narrow-rimmed "segment of a +stove-pipe," with a satin cravat, though it be half-worn! In short, my +dear boys, study fitness and propriety in all things. This is the +legitimate result of a well regulated mind, the characteristic of a true +Gentleman--which every American should aim to be--not a thing made up of +dress, perfumery, and "boos," as Sir Archy McSycophant styled them; but +a right-minded, self-respecting man, with Excelsior for his motto, and +our broad, free, glorious land "all before him, where to choose" the +theatre of a useful, honorable life. Matters like those I have dwelt on +in this letter, are trifles, comparatively; but trifles, in the +aggregate, make life, and, thus viewed, are not unworthy the subordinate +attention of a man of sense. They are collateral, I admit, but they go +to make up the perfect whole--to assist in the attainment of the true +standard which every young man should keep steadily in view. And, +insignificant as the effect of attention to such matters may appear to +you, depend upon it, that habits of propriety and refinement in regard +to such personal details, have more than a negative influence upon +character in general. The man who preserves inviolable his self-respect, +in regard to all personal habits and surroundings, is, _ceteris +paribus_, far less likely to acquire a relish for low company and +profligate indulgences, and to cultivate correspondent mental and moral +attributes. It occurs to me that, going into detail, as I have, your +attention should, in the proper connection, have been called to a little +matter of dress etiquette, of which you moderns are strangely +neglectful, as it appears to an old stickler for propriety like me. To +have offered an ungloved hand to a lady, in the dance, would, in days +when I courted the graces, have been esteemed a peccadillo, and +over-punctilious as you may think me, it seems very unhandsome to me. A +dress costume is no more complete without gloves than without boots, and +to touch the pure glove of a lady with uncovered fingers +is--impertinent! + + [1] It will be understood, of course, that the necessities and the + regulations of military life are here excepted. + +Here, again, let me condemn all fancy display. A fresh white, or, what +amounts at night to the same thing, pale yellow glove, is the only +admissible thing for balls, other large evening parties, ceremonious +dinners, and wedding receptions; but for making ordinary morning visits, +or for the street, some dark, unnoticeable color is in quite as good +taste and _ton_. Bright-colored gloves bring the hands into too much +conspicuousness for good effect, and, to my mind, give the whole man a +plebeian air. I remember once being, for a long time, unable to divine +what a finely-dressed young fellow, in whom I thought I recognised the +son of an old college chum, could be carrying in each hand, as he walked +towards me across the Albany Park; of similar size and color, he seemed, +John Gilpin like, to have + + ----"hung a bottle on each side + To keep the balance sure!" + +When I could, in sailor phrase, "make him out," behold a pair of great +fat hands, incased in tight-fitting gloves, closely resembling in hue +the brightest orange-colored wrapping-paper! + +You will expect me not entirely to overlook the important topic of +_over-garments_. + +As in all similar matters, it is the best taste not to deviate so much +from the prevailing modes as to make one's self remarkable. Fortunately, +however, for the infinite diversity presented by the human form, a +sufficient variety in this respect is offered by fashion to gratify the +greatest fastidiousness. And no point of dress, perhaps, more +imperatively demands discrimination, with regard to its selection. Thus, +a tall, slender figure, with narrow shoulders and ill-developed arms, is +displayed to little advantage in the close-fitting, long-skirted +overcoat that would give desirable compactness to the rotund person of +our short, portly friend, Alderman D., while the defects of the same +form would be almost wholly concealed by one of the graceful and +convenient Talmas that so successfully combine beauty and comfort, and +afford, to an artistically-cultivated eye, the nearest approach to an +abstract standard of taste, presented by masculine attire, since the +flowing short cloak of the so-called Spanish costume was in vogue. + +Here, again, one is reminded of the propriety of regarding _fitness_ in +the selection of garments especially designed to promote comfort. +Nothing can well be more ungainly than the appearance of a man in one of +the large woollen shawls that have of late obtained such general favor, +at least as they are frequently worn, slouching loosely from the +shoulders, and almost necessarily accompanied by a stoop, the more +readily to retain them in place. They are well adapted to night travel, +to exposed riding and driving (when properly secured about the chest), +and are useful as wrappers when a man is dressed for the opera or a +ball. But that any sensible person should encumber himself with such an +appendage in _walking_--for daily street wear--is matter for surprise. +They have by no means the merit for this purpose of the South American +_poncho_, which is simply a large square shawl of thick woollen cloth, +with an opening in the centre for passing it over the head, thus +securing it in place, and giving the wearer the free use of his arms and +hands, a desideratum quite overlooked in the usual arrangement, or +rather _non_-arrangement of these dangling "M'cGregors." But the way, I +well remember, that one of the young T----s of Albany, not very many +years ago, was literally mobbed in the streets of that ancient asylum of +Dutch predilections, upon his appearance there in a _poncho_ brought +with him on his return from Brazil! So much for the mutations of fashion +and opinion! + +To sum up all, let me slightly paraphrase the laconic and invariable +advice of the immortal Nelson to the young middies under his command. +"Always obey your superior officer," said the English hero, "and hate a +Frenchman as you would the devil!" Now then, for my "new reading:"--In +DRESS, _always obey the dictates of Fashion, regulated by good sense, +and hate shabby gentility as you would the devil_! + +Well, you young dogs, here ends the substance of my first old-fashioned +letter of advice to you. I will confess that upon being convinced, as I +was at the very outset, how much easier it is to think and talk than to +write, I was more than half inclined to recall my promise to you all. +The pen of your veteran uncle, my boys, has little of "fuss and +feathers," though it may be "rough and ready." The "Mill-Boy of the +Slashes" used often to say, when we were both young men, and constantly +associated in business matters as well as in friendship, "Let Lunettes +do that, he holds the readier pen;" but times are changed since then, +and you must not expect fine rhetorical flourishes, or the elegances of +modern phraseology in these straight-forward effusions. I learned my +English when "Johnson's Dictionary" was the only standard of our +language, and the "Spectator" regarded as affording an unexceptionable +model of style. With this proviso, I dare say, we shall get on bravely, +now that we are once fairly afloat; and, perhaps, some day we'll get an +enterprising publisher in our Quaker City to shape these effusions into +a "_prent book_" for _private circulation_--a capital idea! at least for +redeeming my crabbed hieroglyphics from being "damned with faint praise" +by my "numerous readers," a thought by no means palatable to the +sensitive mind of your old relative. + +I believe it was "nominated in the bond," that the subjects treated of +in each of my promised letters shall be illustrated by stories, or +anecdotes, drawn from what you were pleased to style "the ample stores +furnished by a life of large observation and varied experience." It +occurs to me, however, that as this, my first awkward essay to gratify +your united wishes, has already grown to an inconceivable length, it +were well to reserve for another occasion the fulfillment of the latter +clause of your request, as more ample space and a less lagging pen may +then second the efforts of + + Your affectionate + UNCLE HAL. + +P. S.--In my next, I will include some practical directions respecting +the details of costume suitable for various ceremonious occasions--the +opera, dinners, weddings, etc., etc. + +"Whew!" methinks I hear you all exclaim, "our old uncle setting himself +up as + + "'The glass of fashion and the mould of form!' + +He may indeed be able to + + ----"'hold the mirror up to Nature;' + +but to attempt to reflect the changeful hues of mere +fashion"---- + +Not too fast, my young friends! Do not suppose me capable of such folly. +But, for the benefit of such of you as are so far removed from the +centre of _ton_ as to require such assistance, I have invoked the aid +of a good-humored friend, thoroughly _au fait_ in such matters, the +"observed of all observers" in our American Belgravia, a luminary in +whose rays men do gladly sun themselves. + + H. L. + + + + +LETTER II. + +SKETCHES AND ANECDOTES. + + +MY DEAR NEPHEWS: + +In accordance with the promise with which I concluded my last letter, I +will give you, in this, narrated in my homely way, some anecdotes, +illustrative of the opinions I have expressed upon the subject of DRESS. + + * * * * * + +Liking, sometimes, to amuse myself by a study of the masses, in holyday +attire and holyday humor,--to see the bone and sinew of our great +country, the people who make our laws, and for whose good they are +administered by their servants, enjoying a jubilee, and wishing also to +meet some old friends who were to be there (among others, Gen. Wool, +who, though politicians accused him of going to lay pipe for the +presidency, is a right good fellow, and the very soul of old-fashioned +hospitality), I went on one occasion to a little city in western New +York, to attend a State Fair. + +On the night of the _fete_ that concluded the affair, your cousins, +Grace and Gerte, to whom you all say I can refuse nothing, however +unreasonable, insisted that I should be their escort, and protested +warmly against my remonstrances upon the absurdity of an old fellow like +me being kept up until after midnight to watch, like a griffin guarding +his treasures, while two silly girls danced with some "whiskered +Pandoor," or some "fierce huzzar," who would be as much puzzled to tell +where he won his epaulettes as was our (militia) Gen. ----, of whom, +when he was presented to that sovereign, on the occasion of a court +levee, Louis Philippe asked, "where he had served!" + +It would not become me to repeat half the flattering things by which +their elegant _chaperon_, Mrs. B. seconded the coaxing declarations of +your cousins, that they would be "enough more proud to go with Uncle Hal +than with all the half-dozen beaux together," whose services had been +formally tendered and accepted for the occasion. + +"Yes, indeed," cried Gerte, "for Uncle Hal is a _real_ soldier!" And I +believe the wheedling rogue actually pressed her velvety lips to the +ugly sabre scar that helps to mar my time-worn visage. + +"Col. Lunettes is too gallant not to lay down his arms when ladies are +his assailants!" said Mrs. B. with one of her conquering smiles. "Well, +ladies," said I, "I cry you mercy-- + + "'Was ever colonel by such sirens wooed, + Was ever colonel by such sirens won!'" + +I have no intention to inflict upon you a long description of the +festivities of the evening. Suffice it to say upon that point, that the +"beauty and fashion," as the newspapers phrase it, not only of the +Empire State, but of the Old Dominion, and others of the fair sisterhood +of our Union, were brilliantly represented. + +When our little party entered the dancing-room, which we did at rather a +late hour, for we had been listening to some good speaking in another +apartment--the ladies declared that they preferred to do so, as they +could dance at any time, but rarely had an opportunity of hearing +distinguished men speak in public,--the "observed of all observers," +among the fairer part of the assembly, and the envy, of course, of all +the male candidates for admiration, was young "General ----," one of the +_aids-de-camp_ of the Governor of the State. In attendance upon his +superior officer, who was present with the rest of his staff, our +juvenile Mars was in full military dress, and made up, as the ladies +say, in the most elaborate and accepted style of love-locks (I have no +idea what their modern name may be), whiskers and moustaches. The glow +that mantled the cheeks of the triumphant Boanerges could not have been +deeper dyed had his "_modesty_," like that of Washington, when +overpowered by the first public tribute rendered to him by Congress, +"been equalled only by his bravery!" + + "He above the rest in shape and gesture, + Proudly eminent." + +but apparently, wholly unconscious of the attention of which he was the +subject, was smilingly engrossed by his devotion to the changes of the +dance, and to his fair partner; and the last object that attracted my +eye, as we retired from the field of his glory, were the well-padded +military coat, the curling moustaches and sparkling eyes of +"Adjutant-Gen. ----!" + +True to my old-fashioned notions of propriety, I went the next morning +to pay my respects to Mrs. B., and to look after your cousins,--especially +that witch Gerte, whom her father had requested me to "keep an eye upon," +when placing her under my care for the journey to the Fair. + +I found the whole fair bevy assembled in the drawing-room, and in high +spirits. + +After the usual inquiries put and answered, Grace cried out, "Oh! Uncle +Hal, I must tell you! Gen. ---- has been here this morning! He was +wearing such a beautiful coat!--his dress last night was nothing to +it!--it fairly took all our hearts by storm!" + +At these words, a merry twinkle, as bright and harmless as sheet +lightning, darted round the circle. + +The master of the house entered at that moment, and before the +conversation he had interrupted was fairly renewed, invited me into the +adjoining dining-room to "take a mouthful of lunch." + +While my host and I sat at a side-table, sipping a little excellent old +Cognac, with just a dash of ice water in it (a bad practice, a very bad +practice, by the by, my boys, which I would strenuously counsel you not +to fall into; but an inveterate habit acquired by an old soldier when no +one thought of it being very wrong) the lively chit-chat in the +drawing-room occasionally reached my ears. + +"It was tissue, I am quite sure!" said Miss ----. + +"No matter about the material--the color would have redeemed anything!" +cried Grace. + +"Sea-green!" chimed in the flute notes of another of the gay junto, +"what can equal the General's _verdancy_?" + +"What?" (here I recognized the animated voice of the lady of the +mansion); "why, only his _mauvais ton_, in 'congratulating' me upon +having 'so many' at my reception for Governor and Mrs. ----, the other +evening, and his equally flattering assurance that he had not seen so +'brilliant a military turn-out in a long time'--meaning, of course, his +elegant self! You are mistaken, however, Laura, about his coat being of +_tissue_, it was _lawn_, and had just come home from his _lawn-dress_, +when he put it on. I distinctly saw the mark of the smoothing-iron on +the cuff, as well as that his wristband was soiled considerably." + +"He had only had time to 'change' his coat since he went 'home with the +girls in the morning,'" chimed in some one, "and his hair, I noticed as +he rose to make what he called his '_farewell bow of exit_,' was filled +with the dust of that dirty ball-room." + +"Which couldn't be brushed out without taking out the curl, too, I +suppose!" This last sally emanated I believe, from one of the most +amiable, usually, of the group. + +"Well," said the hostess, with a half-sigh of relief, "he seldom +inflicts himself upon me! His grand _entree_ this morning, in the +character of a katy-did, gotten up _a la mode naturelle_," (here there +was a general clapping of hands, accompanied by _bravos_ that would have +rejoiced the heart of a prima donna), "was, no doubt, occasioned by his +having heard some one say that, what vulgar people style a '_party +call_,' was incumbent upon him after my reception. What a pity his +informant had not also enlightened him on another point of _ettiquetty_, +as old Mr. Smith calls it, and so spared me the mortification, my dears, +of presenting to you, as a specimen of the beaux of ----, and one of the +aids-de-camp of Governor ----, a man making a visit of ceremony in a +_bright, pea-green, thin muslin shooting-jacket_!" + + * * * * * + +Bulwer, the novelist, when I was last in London, some two or three years +ago--and for aught I know he still continues the practice--used to +appear in his seat in the English House of Commons one day in +light-colored hair, eye-brows and whiskers, with an entire suit to +correspond; and the next, perhaps, in black hair, etc., accompanied by a +black coat, neckcloth, and so on throughout the catalogue. A proof of +the admitted _eccentricities of genius_, I suppose. + + * * * * * + +D----, who is now a very respectable veteran lawyer, and well known in +the courts of the Empire State, was originally a Green Mountain +Boy--tall, a trifle ungainly, with a laugh that might have shaken his +native hills, rather unmanageable hair, each individual member of the +fraternity, instead of regarding the true democratic principle, often +choosing to keep "Independence" on its own account, and a walk that +required the whole breadth of an ordinary side-walk to bring out all its +claims to admiration. Though D---- did not sacrifice to the graces, he +really wrote very clever "Lines;" but his shrewd native sense taught him +that a reputation as a magazine poet would not have a direct tendency to +increase the number of his clients. So the sometime devotee of the Muse +of Poetry, bravely eschewing the open use of a talent that, together +with his ever-ready good-humor and quiet Yankee drollery, had brought +him somewhat into favor in society, despite his natural disadvantages, +entered into partnership with an old practitioner in A----, and bent +himself to his career with sturdy energy of purpose. + +"New Year" coming round again in the good old Dutch city where D---- had +pitched his tent, some of his friends offered to take him with them in +their round of calls, and introduce him to such of their fair friends as +it was desirable to know; hinting, at the same time, that this would +afford a suitable occasion for donning a suit of new and fashionable +garments. + +On the first of January, therefore, agreeable to appointment, his broad, +pock-marked face--luminous as a colored lantern outside an +oyster-saloon--and his gait more than usually _diffusive_, D---- was +seen coming along from his lodgings, to meet his companions for the +day's expedition, and evidently with sails full set. It soon became +apparent to all beholders, not only that the grub had been transformed +into a full-fledged butterfly of fashion, but--that he wore his long, +wide, ample-caped, new cloak _wrong side out_! + + * * * * * + +At the recent Peace Convention in Paris, even those strenuous adherents +to _things as they were_, the Turks, wore the usual dress of Europeans +and Americans throughout, with the single exception of the _fez_, which, +I believe, no adherent of Mahomet will renounce, except with his +religion. Young Charles P---- told me that Count Orloff's sable-lined +_talma_ was of the most unexceptionable Parisian cut. + + * * * * * + +An agreeable young friend of mine, the Rev. Mr. H., contrives to support +a family (Heaven only knows how!) upon the few hundred dollars a year +that make the usual salary of a country clergyman. He indulges himself, +at rare intervals, in a visit to his fashionable city relatives, by way +of necessary relaxation, and to brush up a little in matters of taste, +literature, etc. Perhaps, too, he thinks it well, occasionally, to +return, with his wife and children, the long visits made every summer by +a pretty fair representation of his numerous family circle at the +pleasant little rectory, where refinement, industry, and the ingenuity +of a practical housekeeper, create a charm often lacking in more +pretentious establishments. + +On one of these important occasions, it was decided that the handsome +young rector should avail himself of his city jaunt to purchase a new +suit of clothes, his best clerical coat, notwithstanding the most +careful use and the neatest repairing, being no longer presentable for +ceremonious purposes. (I make no doubt that the compatibility of the +contemplated journey and the new clothes, both in the same year, was +anxiously discussed in family council.) + +As soon as possible after his arrival in town, my clerical friend +broached the all-important subject of the tailor, to one of his +brothers, a youth of unquestionable authority in such matters, and +invoked his assistance. + +"With all my heart, Will, we'll drop in at my own place, as we go down +this morning; they get everything up there artistically." "And at +artistic prices, I fear," soliloquized the new candidate for the honors +of the cloth, with a slight quaking at heart, as a long-cherished plan +for adding, without her previous knowledge, a shawl to the waning bridal +outfit of his self-sacrificing wife, rose before his mental vision. + +"But, I say, Will," inquired his modish brother, of our young clergyman, +in a tone of good-humored banter, as they sauntered down Broadway +together, after breakfast, "where did you buy your new _chapeau_?" + +"At A----, before leaving home"---- + +"Excuse me, my dear fellow, but it's a nondescript! It will never do +with your new suit, allow me to say, frankly." + +"But the person of whom I bought it had just returned from New York, and +he assured me it was the latest fashion! I gave him eight dollars for +it, at any rate." + +"Preposterous!" ejaculated the man of fashion, in a tone portentous as +that which ushered in the "prodigious" of Dominie Sampson, when +astounded by _his_ discoveries in the mysteries of the toilet. "It first +saw the light in the 'rural districts,' depend on't!" + +The quizzical glances with which his companion ever and anon scrutinized +the crowning glory of his neat morning attire, as he had previously +thought it, gradually overpowered the philosophy of my friend,--clergyman +though he was--the admitted Adonis of his class in college, and the +favorite of ladies, old and young. The church's + + ----"favorites are _but men_. + And who e'er felt the stoic when + First conscious of"---- + +wearing a "shocking bad hat!" The result was, that the condemned article +was exchanged at a fashionable establishment for one fully meeting the +approbation of the modish critic. + +"What! another new hat?" cried the young wife, whose quick woman's eye +at once caught the _je ne sais quoi_--the air of the thing, as her +husband rejoined her later in the day. + +The gentleman explained;--"And you thought the other so becoming too, +Belle," he added, in a half-deprecatory tone; "but Chauncey was so +strenuous about it, and I knew he would appeal to you, and that you +would not be satisfied without"---- + +"But they allowed you really nothing for the other, though it was quite +new, and certainly a nice hat. What a pity, now, that you did not travel +in your old one, though it was a little worse for wear, or even in the +cap you bought to fish in. There was Mr. ---- in the same car with us, +looking anything but _elegant_, I am sure, with the queerest-looking old +'Kossuth,' I believe they are called, on, and the roughest overcoat!" + +"But, you know, Belle, dear, such a dress is not considered admissible +for the clergy." + +"No! well, whatever is sensible and convenient _should_ be, I am +convinced now, if I was not before." + +Our young clergyman, as he turned the still-cherished plan of the new +shawl anxiously in his mind, a "sadder and a wiser" man than before, +determined never again to buy a new dress hat expressly to perform a +journey in, especially when going directly from the "rural districts" to +a large city; besides laying up for future use some other collateral +resolutions and reflections of an equally wise and practical character. + +"Why, Belle," said the "superb" Chauncey to his fair sister-in-law, +drawing her little son nearer to him, as he leaned on his mother's lap +after dinner, "this is really a magnificent boy, 'pon-my-word!--you +should take him to 'Bradbrook's' and fit him up! Would you like a velvet +jacket, eh, my fine fellow?" + +The curly-headed child pointed his dimpled forefinger towards the pretty +garment he was wearing, and said, timidly, "Pretty new coata, mamma made +for him." + +"I believe," responded the young mother, quietly, bending her beaming +eyes upon the little face lovingly upturned to hers, "that Willie will +have to do without a velvet jacket for the present; mamma intended to +get one for him in New York, but"----the sentence was finished mentally +with "papa's second new hat has taken the money." This will reveal the +secretly-cherished plan of the young rector's wife, with which a faint +sketch of a pretty cap to crown the shining curls of her darling, had +dimly mingled, almost unconsciously to herself, until brought out by the +power of that "tide in the affairs of men"--necessity! + + * * * * * + +Sitting in the same seat in a railroad car with ex-Chief-Justice ----, +than whom there is no more eminent jurist nor finished gentleman in the +land, discoursing earnestly of old times and new, our conversation was +suddenly interrupted, as we stopped to feed our iron steed, by the loud +salutation of a youth who seemed to take more pains than the _law_ +requires under such circumstances, to enunciate the name of my +companion. "Pleasant morning, Judge!--if I don't intrude" (a glance at +me, and no introduction by the chief-justice), "is this seat +unoccupied?" And down he sat _vis-a-vis_ to us. + +He had the talk pretty much to himself, for a while. By-and-by, our +uninvited guest apologized for his gloves, half-worn fine black kid. +They were "really too bad; must have taken them up by mistake, in the +hurry of getting off," etc. + +"I always keep an old pair expressly for these abominably dirty cars, +but, I believe, I have forgotten to put them on this morning," said the +venerable lawyer, in a peculiarly quiet tone, unfolding, as he spoke, +the ample, old-fashioned, travel-worn camlet cloak, beneath which his +arms had hitherto been crossed, and thus revealing his neat, simple +dress, and the warm, clean lining of his outer garment. Taking a +well-worn pair of soft beaver gloves from an inside pocket, the judge, +with an air of peculiar deliberation, drew them upon hands, "small to a +fault," as the novels say, and as white as those myths are supposed to +be, and re-adjusted his arms and cloak with the same deliberation. A +nice observer might note a slight gleam of the well-known smile, whose +expressive sarcasm had so often withstood professional insolence and +ignorance, as the chief justice turned his head, and cursorily surveyed +his fellow-passengers. + +"Who is that young man, sir?" I inquired, when we were, soon after, +upon again stopping, relieved of the presence of this jackanapes. + +"His name is ----," replied the judge. "A scion of the law, I think +now--a son of the ----, who made a fortune, you may remember, by the +sudden rise of West India molasses, some few years ago (a pause). I +never rate a man by his antecedents, Colonel, but a little modesty is +always suitable and becoming, in _very young persons_," added the +chief-justice, somewhat sententiously. + + * * * * * + +You will, perhaps, remember the commotion created by the promulgation of +Marcy's edict respecting the dress to be worn on state occasions, by our +representatives abroad. + +Our accomplished young countryman, Mr. H. S----, though nominally +Secretary of Legation, was virtually our minister, at St. Cloud, when +this order was published. In simple compliance with his instructions, +the American secretary appeared at a court dinner in the suit of plain +black, prescribed by his government. The premonitions of a revolution +could scarcely have created more consternation among the officials of +the Tuileries, and even the diplomatic dignitaries assembled, +experienced a sensation. The Turkish ambassador was surprised out of the +usually imperturbable stoicism of a devout follower of the mighty +prophet of Moslemdom. + +"What are you doing here," he growled, as the young republican arrested +his attention, in language more remarkable for Oriental figurativeness +than for Parisian elegance, "a raven among so many birds of gay +plumage?" + +The newspaper writers of the day, commenting upon this, said that the +minister from Venezuela--the most insignificant government represented, +was most bedizened with gold lace, stars, and trumpery of every sort. +These letters, prepared for home perusal, were re-published in the Paris +papers, and of course, met the eyes of all the parties alluded to! + +S---- told one of my friends that among the annoyances to which the +whole affair subjected him, was that of being subsequently constantly +thrown in contact with the various personages with whose names his own +had been, without his previous knowledge, unceremoniously, associated. + +No doubt, however, his skillful diplomacy carried him as triumphantly +through this difficulty as through others of vital importance. + +Dining with this polished young diplomate, at the Tremont in Boston, +where we met soon after his return home, the conversation turned upon +the personal appearance of Louis Napoleon, and from his wire-drawn +moustaches diverged to the subject of beards in general. + +"The truth is, Col. Lunettes," said Mr. S----, in French,--which by the +way, he both speaks and writes, _as he does his native tongue_, with +great purity and propriety, and this to our shame be it said, is far +enough from being generally the case with our various officials abroad, +"the truth is, Col. Lunettes, (I detected a just perceptible glance at +my furrowed cheek, which was, however, smooth-shaven as his own) that _a +clean face is getting to be the distinctive mark of a gentleman_!" + + * * * * * + +"My dear Miss ----," said I to a charming woman, whose cordial smile of +recognition drew me within the magic circle of her influence, at a ball, +where I had been for some little time a 'quiet looker-on,' "will you +pardon the temerity of an old friend in inquiring what induced your +chilling reception of the handsome stranger whom I saw presented to you +with such _empressement_ by our host a little while ago? If you could +have seen the admiration with which he long regarded you at a distance, +'his eye in a fine frenzy rolling,'--as he leaned against the--the +corner of the big fiddle, there, while the music was at supper!--could +you have seen this, as others saw it, and then the look of deep +desperation with which he swallowed a bottle of champagne at a standing, +when he fled from your frowns to the supper-room!--Really, Miss ----, I +have seldom had my sympathies so excited for a stranger"-- + +By this time her ringing laugh stirred the blood into quicker pulsations +through my time-steeled heart; "Oh, Colonel, Colonel!" cried she, in +tones, mirth-engendering as the silvery call of Dian, goddess of the +dewy morn, (is that poetry, I wonder?) "I see you are just as +delightfully quizzical as during our Alpine journey together. I have +never quite forgiven the Fates for robbing our party of so inimitable a +_compagnon de voyage_, and me of"--"so devout an admirer!" I chimed in: +"and me of so devout an admirer," proceeded the lady, with a quick +spirit-flash in her deep violet eyes, "and when we were just becoming so +well acquainted, too! It was too provoking! Do you remember the +amusement we had from recalling the various characteristic exclamations +of the different members of our party, when the Italian plains burst +upon our view, out-spread before us in the morning sunlight, after that +horrid night in the shepherd's hut?" + +"If I recollect, it was your avowed slave, 'gentleman John' as you +called him, who shouted, 'O, ye Gods and little fishes!--nothing bad +about that, by thunder?' That fellow carried the ladies, as he did +everything else, by storm"-- + +"No, no, Colonel, not _all_ the ladies; but I was going to tell you +about this 'mysterious stranger,' or 'romantic stranger'--what +_sobriquet_ did you give him? Suppose we go nearer the door, it is so +warm here," and she twined an arm that threw Powers into a rapture,[2] +confidingly around the support proffered her by an old soldier, and we +gradually escaped from the crowd (any one of the men would willingly +have stillettoed me, I dare say!) into a cool corner of the hall. + + [2] Remind me to tell you about that some other time. + +"I am sorry you thought me rude, colonel," she began, a tint, soft as +the shadow of a crimson rose flitting over her expressive face. + +I entered a protest. + +"I dare say my manner was peculiar," resumed my fair companion, "but I +fear 'no rule of courtly grace to measured mood' will ever 'train' my +_face_; and--the truth is, Colonel, that, though I love and honor my own +countrymen beyond the men of all other lands, I _do_ wish they would +imitate well-bred foreigners in some respects. I hate coxcombs! I +believe every woman does at heart. Now, here is this person, Colonel +C----, I think, if I heard the name?" + +"Wherefore _Colonel_, and of what?" thought I, but I only +answered--"Really, I am not able to say." + +"Well, at any rate, I identified the man, beyond a peradventure, as the +same individual who sufficed for my entertainment during a little +journey from home to G----, the other day. As papa, in his stately way, +you know, committed me to the care of the conductor, saying that 'Miss +----'s friends would receive her at G----,' I observed (luckily, my +fastidious father _did not_) the broad stare with which a great bearded +creature, at a little distance from us, turned round in his seat and +surveyed us. When I withdrew from the window, from which I had looked to +receive--to say good-bye, again, to papa"-- + +I would have given--I think I would have given--my Lundy-Lane sword, to +have occasioned the momentary quiver in that musical voice, and the +love-light in that half-averted eye! After a scarce perceptible pause, +the lovely narrator proceeded: + +"There was that huge moon-struck face--["_sun-struck_, perhaps?" I +queried, receiving a slight fan-pass for my pains]--such a contrast to +papa's! staring straight at me, still. I busied myself with a book +behind my veil, and presently knew, without looking, that the +_gentleman_ had gradually returned to his former position. Now came my +turn to scrutinize, though the 'game was scarcely worth the powder.'" + +"Spoken like the true daughter of a gentleman-sportsman!" I exclaimed, +and this time was rewarded with an irradiating smile. + +"Well, such a rolling about of that alderman-like figure, such a +buttoning and unbuttoning! But this was all nothing to his steam-engine +industry in the use of the 'weed.' I turned sick as I observed part of +the shawl of a lady sitting before the creature hanging over near him. +After a while, he sallied forth, at one of the stopping-places, and soon +returned with--(expressive hue!)--_an immense green apple_! It seemed +for a time likely to prove the apple of discord, judging from the hungry +glances cast at it by a long, lank, thinly-clad old man across the car. +But now came the 'tug of war.' It scarce required my woman's wit to +divine the motive that had prompted the tasteful selection of the +alderman's lunch. A glove was pompously drawn off, and--behold! a great +_pate_ of a ring on the smallest, I cannot truthfully say +_little_-finger, set with a huge red cornelian, that looked for all the +world like a cranberry-jam in a setting of puff-paste! As the big apple +slowly diminished under the greedy eyes of the venerable spectator of +this rich Tantalus-feast, my heart melted with pity." + +A well-affected look of surprise on the part of her auditor, here +claimed the attention of the fair speaker. + +"Don't alarm yourself, Colonel! 'Pity 'tis, 'tis true,' my compassion +was excited _only_ towards the poor finger that, stout as it looked, +must soon be worn to the bone, if often compelled to do duty at the +speed with which it was worked that day. Imagine the poor thing stuck +straight out with that heavy stone _pate_ upon it, while the proprietor +plied his hand from his mouth to the car-window _behind_ him, with the +industrious regularity of a steam ferry-boat, professedly laden with +little bits of apple-skin, but really intended--oh, most flattering +tribute to my discriminating powers!--_to captivate my fancy, through my +eye_!" + +When my amusement had somewhat subsided, I said to my fair friend: + +"I suppose the doughty alderman finished his repast, like Jack the +Giant-killer, by eating up the famishing old man who had the insolence +to watch him while breakfasting?" + +"I am happy to be able to say," replied she, "that the long, lean, lanky +representative of our fallen race, not only escaped being thoroughly +masticated and thrown by little handfuls out of the car-window, but when +Jack the Giant-killer, and almost every one else had gone out of the +car, was presented by a lady with two nice large sandwiches that she +happened not to need." + +"And that benevolent lady was"---- + +A movement among the dancers here crowded several acquaintances into +such close contact with us that we could not avoid overhearing their +conversation. + +"Do you know that large man, wearing so much beard, Mr. Jerome?" + +"Know him? certainly I do, Miss Blakeman. That's C----, Col. C----, the +rich New York grocer. He is one of the city aldermen--they talk of him +for the legislature--quite a character, I assure you." + +"He evidently thinks so himself," rejoined one of the group; "just +notice him in that polka! I heard him telling a lady, a moment ago, that +he had not missed a single set, and wouldn't for anything." + +"They say," pursued a lady, "that he is paying his addresses to that +pretty little Miss S----, who was so much admired here, last winter; she +is an orphan, I think, and quite an heiress." + +A perceptible shiver ran through the clinging arm that still graced my +own, and as I moved away with my sweet charge, she murmured, in the +musical tongue of the Beautiful Land, as she ever calls Italy, "the +gentle dove for the vulture's mate!" + + * * * * * + +Will that do for this time, boys? Or do you require that, in imitation +of the little Grecian Hunch-back, a _moral_ shall be appended to each of +his narratives, by your + + UNCLE HAL. + +P. S.--In accordance with my promise, there follow the admirable +directions and remarks of the elegant and obliging friend referred to +in my previous letter. He will, I trust, permit me thus to tender him, +renewedly, my very grateful acknowledgment of his flattering politeness, +and to express my sense of the important addition made by his kindness +to my unpretending epistles. + + * * * * * + +"MY DEAR COL. LUNETTES: + +"I regard myself as highly complimented that so distinguished a +representative of the _ancien regime_, as yourself, one so entirely +_comme il faut_, as all admit, in matters of taste, should esteem my +opinion, even in regard to minor points of etiquette, as worth his +attention. + +"I need scarcely add, dear sir, an assurance of my conviction of the +honor you do me by affording me a place in your remembrance, and that I +make no doubt your profound knowledge of the world, united with your +unusual opportunities for extensive observation--long _un habitue de +belle societe_, in various countries, as you have been--will afford a +rich treat, as well as much instruction, to those who may be favored +with the perusal of your proposed _Letters_. That he may have the honor +to be thus fortunate, is the hope of, dear sir, + + "Your very respectful + "And obedient servant, + "---- ---- + + "BELGRAVIA, _Tuesday Morn., + "May 6th, '56_." + +GENTLEMEN'S DRESS.--The subject now to be treated of, may be divided +into several classes:--_morning, promenade_ or _visiting_, and _evening_ +or _ball_ dress; which again may be subdivided into others, such as +_riding-dress_, dress suitable for _bachelors' dinner-parties_, or +_opera_ (when unaccompanied by ladies). Besides these again, we have +dresses suitable for _fishing_, _shooting_, and _yachting_ purposes, +which, however, scarcely call for, or admit of, the display of much +taste, inasmuch as the occupations for which such costumes are designed +partake rather of the nature of healthy exercise than of that quiet and +gentlemanly repose necessary to give full effect to the graces of the +more elaborate "_toilette_." Military, Naval, and Court dresses may also +be considered out of the scope of the remarks in this letter, because +their being made scrupulously in accordance with rigid _Regulation +Rules_, leaves no room for taste, but substitutes the _dicta_ of +official routine. + +To commence our exemplifications with a _Wedding-Suit_, which, from the +wearer's approximate connection with the ladies deserves the "_pas_"--it +may be remarked that the time of day in which the ceremony is solemnized +should determine the character of the costume, that is to say, whether +it should be morning or evening. In either case, however, general usage +allows (not to say demands), a more marked style than is generally worn +in morning or evening usual wear. Should the wedding take place in the +_evening_, a very elegant costume is, a dark claret dress-coat, white +ribbed-silk, or _moire antique_, waistcoat, white silk neckcloth, black +trowsers, silk stockings, and shoes. The lining of the sleeves, also, of +white silk, coming to the extreme edge of the cuff, imparts a singularly +light and elegant appearance to the hand and glove. An equally elegant +_Morning Wedding-Dress_ might consist of a rich, deep-brown frock-coat; +waistcoat of black cashmere, with a small violet-colored palm-leaf +figure; neck-tie of silk, combining colors of black and cherry, or brown +and deep blue; trowsers of delicate drab, or stone-color; gloves +primrose, or slate-colored kid. + +The usual _Evening-Dress_ is so imperiously insisted on, that it might +be almost classed in the category of _uniforms_, being almost invariably +composed of _black_ coat, vest, and trowsers. Two items, however, in +this costume, admit of disquisition amongst "men who dress," viz., the +_vest_ and the _tie_--both of which may be either white or black, +without any infraction of the laws of _bienseance_. This, therefore, +must be settled by the taste of the wearer, who should remember that +black, having the effect of apparently diminishing a man's size, and +white that of increasing it, it would, therefore, be judicious for a +person of unusual size to tone down his extra bulk by favoring black in +both these garments, while he who is below the average standard could, +if not actually increase his height or size, at least create the +impression of more generous proportions. I, however, must confess a +decided partiality for a _white neck-tie_, at least; because, although +subject to the disadvantage of being _de rigueur_ amongst waiters and +other members of the Yellow Plush Family, it is, nevertheless, always +considered unexceptionable, at any season, or hour, in any rank, +profession, or capacity. + +A _Morning Call_ should be made in a _frock-coat_, or at least one in +which this style predominates. It must, however, be constantly borne in +mind that it is quite impossible to furnish even general rules on any +one of these points that shall prove immutable, since not only each +successive year, but every varying season produces decided changes in +the standard established by Taste and Fashion. + +_Bachelors' Dinner-parties_ are pleasant, social _reunions_, at which +gentlemen enjoy themselves with more _abandon_ than would, perhaps, be +considered consistent with the quiet and more retired respect due to the +presence of the "_beau sexe_;" and, as a natural consequence, admit of a +more _neglige_ style of costume. Still, however, a certain regard must +be had to the requirements of good society; and as many of these +parties, when they break up, adjourn to the opera, or theatre, where +they are pretty sure to meet ladies of their acquaintance, a costume +half-way between morning and evening is, by tacit agreement, prescribed; +for instance:--a coat of some dark color (generally termed +"_medley-colored_"), cut rounded over the hips; black cap; inner vest, +buttoning rather high in the breast; dark-grey trowsers, and black silk +neckerchief, or ribbed silk scarf. + +Instead of giving sketches of particular costumes, it would, perhaps, be +better and tend more to develop the importance of dress, if a few +remarks were made on the general rules which should guide one in +selections for his own wear. + +The _four staple colors for men's wear, are black, blue, brown, and +olive_. Other colors, such as drab, grey, mixed, etc., being so far as +the principal garments go, what are termed "fancy colors," should be +very cautiously used. + +As was remarked above, _black has the effect of diminishing size_, but +it has another more important effect, which is to test, in the severest +way, the wearer's claims to a _distinguished appearance_. It is a very +high compliment to any man to tell him that black becomes him, and it is +probably owing to this property that black is chosen, _par excellence_, +for _evening_ or _ball dress_. Men, therefore, of average or ordinary +pretensions to stylish contour, should bear this in mind, and, when such +color is not indispensable, should be careful how far they depend on +their own intrinsic dignity. + +_Blue_, of almost any shade, becomes a light complexion, besides being +an admirable set-off to black velvet, which can, in almost all cases, be +judiciously used in the collar, in which case, a _lighter shade of +blue_ (also becoming such a complexion) can be worn without _killing_ +(as it is technically termed), the darker shade of the coat--the velvet +harmonizing both. + +_Brown_ being what is termed a _warm_ color, is eminently adapted for +fall and winter wear--_olive_ and _dark green_, for summer. + +When Beau Brummel was asked what constituted a well-dressed man, he +replied, "_Good linen--plenty of it, and country washing_." This, +perhaps, is rather _too_ primitive. The almost equally short opinion of +the French critic is decidedly more comprehensive--"_un homme bien +coiffe, et bien chausse, peut se presenter partout_." Under any +circumstances, however, it may be laid down as immutable, that the +_extremities_ are most important parts, when considered as objects for +dress, and that _a well appointed hat, faultlessly-fitting gloves, and +immaculate boots_, are three essentials to a well-dressed man, without +which the otherwise best constituted dress will appear unfinished. + +Besides the necessity for the greatest care required in the selection of +colors, with regard to their harmonizing with each other, and their +general adaptation to the complexion or contour of the wearer, there is +another matter of the first importance, and this is, the _cut_. Of +course, everything should be sacrificed to _perfect ease_, as any +garment which pinches, or incommodes the wearer, will strongly militate +against the easy deportment of even the most graceful, and tend to give +a contracted and constrained appearance. _Every garment, therefore, +should leave the wearer perfectly free and uncontrolled in every +motion_; and, having set out with this proviso, the _artiste_ may +proceed to invest his work with all the minute and seemingly immaterial +graces and touches, which, although scarcely to be remarked, still +impart _an air_ or _character_, which is unmistakable, and is expressed +in the French word _chique_. + +_Wadding_, or _stuffing_, should be avoided as much as possible. A +little may be judiciously used to round off the more salient points of +an angular figure, but when it is used for the purpose of creating an +egregiously false impression of superior form, it is simply _snobbish_. +Some one has called hypocrisy "the homage which vice pays to virtue." +_Wadding is the homage which snobbishness pays to symmetry!_ + +A well-dressed man will never be the first to set a new fashion; he will +allow others to hazard the innovation, and decline the questionable +honor of being the first to advertise a _novelty_. Two lines of Pope (I +believe), admirably illustrate the middle course:-- + + _"Be not the first by whom the new is tried, + Nor yet the last by whom 'tis set aside."_ + +Besides which he will find it far easier to become a _critic_ than an +_author_; and as there is sure to be a vast number of men who "greatly +daring" dress, he will merely be at the trouble of discriminating which +is worthy of selection or rejection; he will thus verify the old saw, +that "fools make feasts and wise men eat thereof," and avoid, by means +of his own knowledge of _the becoming_, the solecisms which are pretty +certain to occur in a number of experiments. + + TRINCULO. + + + + +LETTER III. + +MANNER. + + +MY DEAR NEPHEWS: + +In the order of sequence adopted at the commencement of our +correspondence, the subject of _manner_ comes next in succession. + +It was the shrewd aphorism of one of the most profound observers of +human nature that "_Manner is something to all, and everything to +some_." + +As indicative of character, which it undoubtedly is, to a certain +extent, it is well worthy the attention of all youthful aspirants to the +honors of the world. And though, like every other attribute, it should +bear indubitable murks of individuality, care and attention, before +habit has rendered change and improvement difficult, will enable every +man to acquire that propriety and polish, in this respect, the +advantages of which through life can scarcely be overrated. + +It has been somewhat paradoxically said, that the fashionable manner of +the present day is _no manner at all_! which means simply--that the +manners of the best bred people are those that are least obtruded upon +the notice of others,--those most _quiet, natural, and unassuming_. + +There is, however, a possibility of carrying this modish manner to such +an extreme as to make it the very height of affectation. If Talleyrand's +favorite axiom admits of some qualification, and _language_ is not +_always_ used to "conceal our ideas," then should _manner_, which is the +natural adjunct that lends additional expressiveness to words, be in a +degree modified by circumstances--be _individualized_. + +Every approach to a rude, noisy, boisterous, manner, is reprehensible, +for the obvious reason that it interferes with the comfort, and, +consequently, with the rights of others; but this is at a wide remove +from the ultra-modishness that requires the total suppression of every +manifestation of natural emotion, and apparently, aims to convert beings +influenced by the motives, feelings, and principles that constitute +humanity, into mere moving automata! + +In this, as in too many similar matters, Americans are prone to excess. +Because _scenes_ are considered bad _ton_, in good society abroad, and +because the warm-hearted hospitality of olden time sometimes took shape +a little more impressingly and noisily than kindness required, some of +our fashionable imitators of European models move through the world like +resuscitated ghosts, and violate every law of good feeling in an +endeavor to sustain at home a character for modish _nonchalance_! Now, +take it as a rule through life, my young friends, that _all servile +imitation degenerates into caricature_, and let your adoption and +illustration of every part of your system of life be modified by +circumstances, and regulated by good sense and manly independence. + +I need scarcely tell you that true politeness is not so much a thing of +forms and ceremonies, as of right feelings and nicety of perception. The +Golden Rule habitually illustrated in word and action, would produce the +most unexceptionable good breeding--politeness so cosmopolitan that it +would be a passport to "good society" everywhere. + +One of the most polished and celebrated of American authors has given us +as fine and laconic a definition of politeness as I remember to have met +with--"Self-respect, and a delicate regard for the rights and feelings +of others." + +The good breeding of a true gentleman is not an appendage put off and on +at the dictate of caprice, or interest, it is essentially _a part of +himself_--a constituent of his being, as much as his sense of honesty or +honor, and its requirements are no more forgotten or violated than those +of any other essential attribute of manhood. You will all remember Sir +Philip Sidney's immortal action in presenting the cup of water to the +dying soldier. This was a spontaneous result of the habitual +self-possession and self-restraint that form the basis of all true good +breeding. It is one of the most perfect exhibitions on record of the +_moral sublime_; but it was, also, only a legitimate result of the +_instinctive politeness of a Christian gentleman_! + +Manner, then, may be regarded as the expression of inherent qualities, +and though it must, necessarily, and should properly, to some extent, +at least, vary with the variations of character, it may readily be +rendered a more correct and effective exponent of existing +characteristics of mind and heart, by judicious and attentive training. + +While true good breeding must, from its very nature be, as I have said, +in all persons and under every modification of circumstance +substantially the same, the proper mode of exemplifying it, must, with +equal propriety, be modified by the exercise of practical good sense and +discrimination. Thus, the laws of convention,--which, as I have before +remarked, is but another name for the rules of politeness, established +and adhered to by well-bred people, for mutual convenience--though in +some respects as immutable as those of the Medes and Persians, will +always be adapted, by persons of good sense, to the mutations of +circumstance and the inviolable requisitions of that "higher law," whose +vital principle is "_kindness kindly expressed_!" Having now established +general principles, let us turn to the consideration of practical +details. + +There is, perhaps, no better test of good manners afforded by the +intercourse of ordinary life, than that of conduct towards superiors in +age or station, ("Young America" seems loth to admit that he has any +superiors, but we will venture to assume these premises). The +general-in-chief of the Revolutionary Army of America is well known to +have always observed the most punctilious respect towards his _mother_, +in his personal intercourse with her, as well as in every other +relation of life. My word for it, he never spoke of her as the "old +woman;" nor could one of the youthful members of his military family +have alluded, in his hearing, to a parent as the "governor," or the "old +governor," without exciting the disapproving surprise of Washington and +his co-patriots. And yet our young republic has known no more high-bred +and polished men than those of that day,--the stately and elegant +Hancock, even when broken by time and disease, a graceful and +punctilious observer of all the ceremonious courtesies of life; the +courtly Carroll, whose benignant urbanity was the very impersonation of +a long line of old English gentlemen; and the imposing stateliness of +the commander-in-chief, ever observant of the most minute details of +propriety, whether in the familiar intercourse of daily life, or while +conducting the most momentous affairs of his country. But to return from +this unpremeditated digression. Never let youthful levity, or the +example of others, betray you into forgetfulness of the claims of your +parents or elders, to a certain deference. Depend upon it, the +preservation of a just self-respect demands this. + +Your historical studies will have furnished you with evidence of the +respect habitually rendered to superiors by those nations of antiquity +most celebrated for advancement in civilization; and you will not have +failed, also, to remark that nothing more surely heralded the decay of +ancient empires than degeneracy in this regard. + +Next to the reverence ever due to parents, may be ranked that which +should be rendered to virtuous age, irrespective of station or other +outward attributes. I should deem this instinctive with all right-minded +young persons, did I not so often, in the street, at church, in social +life, in public places generally, observe the manner in which elderly +persons are, apparently, wholly overlooked. + +Here, the universally-applicable _law of kindness_ claims regard. Those +of the pilgrims of earth, whose feet are descending the narrowing vale +that leads to the dim obscure unpenetrated by mortal eyes, are easily +pained by even the semblance of indifference or neglect. They are +sensitively alive to every intimation that their places in the busy +arena of active life are already better filled by others; that they are +rather tolerated than essential. Those who are most worthy of regard are +least likely to be insensible to such influences. Remember, then, that +you should never run the race of life so "fast" as to encroach upon the +established claims of your predecessors in the course. Nor would the +most prematurely sage young man be entirely unbenefited, it may be, by +availing himself occasionally of the accumulated experience, erudition, +and knowledge of the world, possessed by many a quiet "old fogy," whose +unassuming manners, modest self-respect, and pure integrity present a +just model to "Young America," albeit, perchance, too old-fashioned to +be deemed worthy of attention! + +While the general proposition--that manner is, to a considerable extent +_character in action_, is undoubtedly correct, we occasionally see the +exact converse painfully exemplified. It sometimes occurs that the most +amiable persons labor through life under the disadvantage of a diffident +or awkward manner, which does great injustice to their intrinsic +excellences. And this is but another evidence of the necessity of the +earliest attention to this subject. + +Though no one should be discouraged in an endeavor to remedy the defects +arising from neglect, in this respect (and, indeed, it may properly be +considered as affording room for ceaseless advancement, like every other +portion of the earthly education of immortal beings), few persons, +perhaps, ever completely overcome the difficulties arising from +inattention to this important branch of education, while youthful +pliancy renders the formation of habits comparatively easy. + +The early acquisition of habits of self-possession and self-control, +will furnish the surest basis for the formation of correct manners. With +this should be united, as far as is practicable, constant association +with well-educated and well-bred persons, there is no friction like this +to produce external polish, nor can the most elaborate rules furnish an +effectual substitute for the ease that practice alone secures. + +Lose no opportunity, therefore, for studiously observing the best +_living models_, not for the purpose of attempting an undiscriminating +imitation of even the most perfect, but, as an original and gifted +artist derives advantage from studying works of genius, by the great +masters of art, to avail yourself of the matured knowledge resulting +from experience. + + * * * * * + +But now for an exemplary anecdote or two:-- + +"Colonel Lunettes, do you know some gentleman going to U---- in this +train?" inquired my friend ex-Governor T----, extending his hand to me +in the car-house of one of our western cities. "I wish to place a very +pretty young lady under the care of some suitable person for a short +time, until she joins a party of friends." + +"Really, my dear sir, I regret that I have just arrived," returned I; +"you tempt me to turn about and go over the ground again." + +"Uncle T----, there is H---- B---- just getting out of that car," cried +a young lady, approaching us, with two or three fair companions, +"perhaps he is going on." + +At this moment a young man, in a dress that might have been that of the +roughest back-woodsman, approached the group. + +He wore a very broad-brimmed, coarse straw hat, capable of serving the +double purpose of umbrella and _chapeau_, his hands were incased in +strong gauntlet-gloves, and he carried a large engineer's field-book +under one arm. + +Removing his hat, as he somewhat hesitatingly advanced, and passing his +hand over a beard of several days' growth, glancing downward, at the +same time, upon heavy-soled boots, thickly encrusted with dry mud-- + +"Ladies," said he, "I am too dirty to come near you; I have been +surveying in the swamps in this neighborhood for several days past, +camping out, and jumped upon the cars a few miles back, bound for my +stationary quarters and--the _blessings of civilization_!" And, with the +color deepening in his sun-burnt face, he bowed to us all, with a grace +that Count d'Orsay could scarcely have exceeded. + +The youth was very cordially welcomed by his friends; little Kitty, who +is privileged to say anything, declared she "never saw him look so +handsome;" and, I confess, that even my flinty old heart was favorably +moved towards the young engineer. I admired the good taste that dictated +an explanation of the soiled condition of his clothes (his thick linen +shirt, however, was _clean_); not an absurd apology for not being +_well-dressed_, and I liked his use of the good, significant Saxon word +that most truthfully described his condition. + +After an exchange of civilities, turning respectfully to the governor, +he said: "Governor T----, can I be of any service? You seemed to be +looking for some one." + +An explanation of the circumstances resulted in the resignation of his +fair charge to the temporary care of this same toil-worn, "dirty" young +engineer, by my friend, who is himself one of the most fastidious and +world-polished of men! + +A few days after this trifling adventure, I went, by invitation, to +pass a day with my friend the ex-governor, at his beautiful residence a +little out of the city. + +Standing near one of the drawing-room windows, just before dinner, I +observed a gentleman alighting from a carriage, at the entrance of the +mansion. I was struck with his elegant air, as he kissed his hand to +some one who was, like myself, an observer on the occasion. + +"There is H---- B----!" exclaimed the joyous voice of pretty Kitty, the +niece of my host, and a little scrutiny, while he was paying his +compliments to the several members of the family, enabled me to +recognize in this graceful stranger the rough-looking youth I had +previously seen at the depot. But what a metamorphosis! He now wore an +entirely modish dinner-dress, exquisitely tasteful in all its +appointments; his coat of the most faultless fit, and boots that +displayed a very small and handsome foot to admirable advantage. I +afterwards noticed, too, that "camping out" in the "swamps" had not, +apparently, impaired the smoothness of the slender fingers and +carefully-cut nails that came under my observation while listening, in +the course of the evening, to the rich voice and guitar accompaniment of +Mr. B----. + +"Did Mr. B---- come out in a carriage?" inquired one of the ladies of +the family, in a low tone, of my host, near whom I was standing, when +arrangements were to be made for the return of the guests to town. + +"Certainly he did," answered the governor, "Mr. B---- is too much of a +sybarite to heat himself by walking out here to dinner, on such a day as +this." + +"And too economical, I have no doubt, judging from his good sense in +other respects," I added, "to spoil a pair of costly dress boots in such +service." + +"Mrs. M----, one moment, if you please," said a voice behind us, and +Mrs. M---- (who is the acting mistress of the mansion) took the arm +politely proffered her, and stepped out upon the portico. Presently she +returned-- + +"Uncle T----," whispered she ("excuse me, Col. Lunettes), John need not +get up our carriage; Mr. B---- has been so polite as to insist upon our +sending the girls home in his, saying that he really prefers to sit +outside, and that the carriage in which he drove out is to be here in a +few minutes." + +"He happened to know that John has to be up with the lark, about another +matter," remarked the host, "and"---- + +"How kind!" returned the lady; "but Mr. B---- does everything so +agreeably that one does not know which to admire most--the charm of his +_manner_, or"---- + +"The _good breeding_, from which it springs!" exclaimed the governor, +finishing the eulogy. + + * * * * * + +Attending a lady from the dinner-table at the St. Nicholas, in New York, +she begged me to wait with her for a few minutes, near the passage +conducting to the drawing-rooms, saying, playfully, that she wished to +way-lay a gentleman. "I have been all the morning," she then explained, +"trying to meet a Russian friend of ours, who is certainly staying +here, though we cannot succeed in seeing him. My husband charged me, +before we parted this morning, as he was obliged to go out of town for +the day, with a message for our friend, which he said _must_ be +delivered by me in person. Ah, there he is now!" and she advanced a step +towards an elderly gentleman accompanying a lady. + +I released her arm from mine, of course, and retired a little; the other +lady also simultaneously withdrawing. I bowed respectfully to her. + +"Have you ever chanced to remark this picture?" inquired the fair +stranger of me, as we stood thus near each other, turning towards the +painting of the patron saint of the Knickerbockers, which graced the +main staircase of the hotel; "it is very appropriately selected." + +Nothing could be more unmistakably refined and high-bred than the +bearing of the interlocutor, while we chatted a moment or two longer. + +"I beg your pardon, madam, for depriving you of your cavalier; nothing +but necessity could excuse it"--began the lady, who had been talking +earnestly in the meanwhile with the Russian, approaching us. She was at +once relieved from making further explanation. + +"Pray don't name it--and allow me to renew my slight acquaintance with +you," offering her hand. + +"With pleasure," returned my fair friend, instantly; but she looked a +little puzzled, despite her courtesy. + +"I see you do not recollect the weary traveller who was so much obliged +to your politeness in the hotel in Washington, the other night. The only +stranger-lady (turning to her attendant) I have met in this country, who +has rendered me the slightest civility." + +All this was, of course, quite unintelligible to me, but later in the +evening I had the honor of being introduced to these strangers, and, +incidentally, received a solution of the mystery. + +While a pleasant party with which I had the good fortune to be +associated, was cozily gathered in one of the quiet little drawing-rooms +of the St. Nicholas, the conversation turned upon the difference of +manners in different nations. Let me premise a brief explanation, that +you may the better understand what follows. The Russian gentleman, whom +I had seen in the passage, is Dr. de H----, a distinguished _savant_, +travelling in the service of his imperial master, and the lady whom he +was attending from dinner a Frenchwoman of high birth and breeding. My +fair charge is the wife of an officer of our army, who nearly lost his +life in the late Mexican war, returning home covered alike with wounds +and honors, and with still I don't know how many bullets in his body, as +life-long tokens of his bravery. His heroic young wife, when she learned +that he had landed at New Orleans, as soon after the conclusion of peace +as his condition enabled him to be conveyed to the sea-board and make +the voyage, set out to join him at the South, with an infant of only a +few weeks old, and herself in enfeebled health.--They had been married +but a short time, when Col. V---- was ordered to the seat of war, and +the lady was a belle and a beauty, of scarce nineteen--the cherished +idol of wealth and affection. These persons, and one or two others were, +with myself, seated, as I have said, cozily together for a little talk, +after dinner. + +Taking advantage of the temporary absence of Mrs. V----, the +Frenchwoman, turning to Dr. de H----, said: "What a charming person! I +must tell you about my first meeting with her. You know we are just +returned from a little tour at the south of this country. Well, at +Washington, the other evening we have arrived, my husband and I, with my +little daughter, Lorrette, very tired and covered with dust, at the +hotel. A friend had engaged apartments for us, two or three days before, +but we were not conducted to them. They led us into a sort of corridor, +where gentlemen and ladies were walking, in dinner dress, and left us to +stand against the wall for some time. At last Victor told me to be +patient, and he would go and see. I have thought I should fall down with +fatigue and vexation, and poor little Lorrette leaned against me and was +almost quite asleep. At this moment, a lady and gentleman who were +sitting in a little alcove, which was in the corridor, observed us, as I +saw, though I tried to turn myself from all. They came immediately to +us. The gentleman brought a light chair in his hand. 'Madam,' said the +gentleman, 'allow me to offer you a seat; I am surprised that Mr. +Willard has no reception room for travellers.' Before I could thank +them, properly, the lady said, seeing how Lorrette had begun to cry, 'Do +come and sit over there in the little recess; there is a larger chair in +which the little girl can lie down until you can get your rooms. Pray +come'--and all this with such a sweet manner. Seeing that the gentleman +was already looking for another chair to bring to us, I went away with +the lady; saying, however, that I was so sad to come with her in this +dress, and to trouble her. When we were in the little alcove, almost by +ourselves, she placed Lorrette on a little couch, and forced me to sit +on the only good chair, saying that she preferred to stand a little, and +so many other polite, kind words! Then, while the gentleman talked a +little with me, she began to tell Lorrette that her papa would soon take +her to a nice supper, and made her look, when she was no longer so +tired, at some nice drawings of colored birds that her friend was +showing her when they came to carry us to them." + +You must picture to yourselves the animated gestures, the expressive +tones, and the slight Gallic accent that gave double significance to +this little sketch, to form a correct idea of the pleasing effect +produced upon us all by the narration. Observing Mrs. V---- re-entering +the room, the charming Frenchwoman only added, enthusiastically: "Really +these were persons so agreeable, that I could not forget them; as I have +told you to-day, Dr. de H----, it is the only stranger American lady who +has ever been polite in our journey." + +"Are the ladies of our country, then, so remiss in politeness?" said a +young American lady present, in a deprecatory tone. + +"I beg your pardon, madam," returned the foreigner, "the Americans are +the most kind-hearted people in the world, but _they do not say it_! it +is the--_manner_!" + +"I shall really begin to think," said Mrs. V----, "that there is some +other cause than my being a brunette for my being so often taken for a +foreigner. I am often asked whether I am from New Orleans, or of French +extraction." + +"I am not surprised," exclaimed Dr. de H----, "my friend Sir C---- +G----, who saw you this morning, asked me afterwards what country was +you of?" + +"Why, how was that?" + +"He told me he had just given a servant, that stupid old man in the +hall, the house-porter, I believe you call him, a card, to take to some +room, when you met him, and directed him to go to the office with a +message; but, observing the card in his hand, and that a gentleman stood +there, you immediately told him to go first with the card and you would +wait for him." + +Here the silvery laugh of Mrs. V---- interrupted the Russian. "Excuse +me," said she, "I remember it!--that old porter, who always makes a +mistake, if it is possible, has so often annoyed me, that this time I +was determined, as it was a person I much wished to see, not to lose my +visitor through him, so, after waiting some time in one of these rooms, +I went to him to inquire, and sent him to the office, when I found that +my poor friend was waiting _there_, while I waited _here_. Observing a +gentleman who seemed already to have required his services, I bade him +go first for him, of course. '_Apres vous, madame, je vous prie_,'[3] +said he, with the most courtly air;--so that was Sir C---- G----?" + + [3] After you are served, madam, I beg. + +"Yes, madam," answered the _savant_, "but it was _your_ air that was +remarkable! Sir C---- told me that while you both were waiting there you +addressed some polite remark to him, _pour passer le temps_, and that he +thought you were not an American lady, _because you spoke to him_!" + +"Speaking of _not speaking_," said I, when the general amusement had +abated, "reminds me of an amusing little scene that I once witnessed in +the public parlor of a New England tavern, where I was compelled to wait +several hours for a stage-coach. Presently there entered a bustling, +sprightly-looking little personage, who, after frisking about the room, +apparently upon a tour of inspection, finally settled herself very +comfortably in the large cushioned rocking-chair--the only one in the +room--and was soon, as I had no reason to doubt, sound asleep. It was +not long, however, before a noise of some one entering aroused her, and +a tall, gaunt old Yankee woman, hung round with countless bags, +bonnet-boxes, and nondescript appendages of various sizes and kinds, +presented herself to our vision. After slowly relieving herself of the +numberless incumbrances that impeded her progress in life, she turned to +a young man who accompanied her, and said, in a tone so peculiarly +shrill, that it might have been mistaken, at this day, for a railroad +whistle: + +"'Now, Jonathan, don't let no grass grow under your feet while you go +for them tooth-ache drops; I am a'mos' crazy with pain!' laying a hand +upon the affected spot as she spoke; 'and here,' she called out, as the +door was closing upon her messenger, 'just get my box filled at the same +time!' diving, with her disengaged hand, into the unknown depths of, +seemingly, the most capacious of pockets, and bringing to light a +shining black box, of sufficient size to hold all the jewels of a modern +belle, 'I thought I brought along my snuff-bladder, but I don't know +where I put it, my head is so stirred up.' + +"By this time the little woman in the rocking-chair was fairly aroused, +and rising, she courteously offered her seat to the stranger, her accent +at once betraying her claim to be ranked with the politest of nations (a +bow, on my part, to the fair foreigner in the group). With a prolonged +stare, the old woman coolly ensconced herself in the vacated seat, +making not the slightest acknowledgment of the civility she had +received. Presently, she began to groan, rocking herself furiously at +the same time. The former occupant of the stuffed chair, who had retired +to a window, and perched herself in one of a long row of high wooden +seats, hurried to the sufferer. 'I fear, madame,' said she, 'that you +suffare ver' much:--vat can I do for you?' The representative of +Yankeedom might have been a wooden clock-case for all the response she +made to this amiable inquiry, unless her rocking more furiously than +ever might be construed into a reply. + +"The little Frenchwoman, apparently wholly unable to class so anomalous +a specimen of humanity, cautiously retreated. + +"Before I was summoned away, the tooth-ache drops and the snuff together +(both administered in large doses!) seemed to have gradually produced +the effect of oil poured upon troubled waters. + +"The sprightly Frenchwoman again ventured upon the theatre of action. + +"'You find yourself now much improved, madame?' she asked, with +considerable vivacity. A very slight nod was the only answer. + +"'And you feel dis _fauteuil_, really ver' _com-for-ta-ble_?' pursued +the little woman, with augmented energy of voice. Another nod was just +discernable. + +"No intonation of mine can do justice to the very ecstasy of impatience +with which the pertinacious questioner now actually _screamed_ out: + +"'_Bien_, madame, _vil you say so_, if you please!'" + + * * * * * + +I meant to repeat an impressive little story told us by my lovely +friend, Mrs. V----, before our merry little party separated that night; +but, even were this letter not already too "long drawn out," I find my +head in very much the condition of that of the old Yankee woman, whom, I +trust, I have immortalized, and will, therefore, reserve it for another +time, hoping that you will pay me the compliment to recollect my +description of my _dramatis personae_ until then. + + * * * * * + +Meanwhile, here is one other anecdote for you: + +During my usual morning ride, one day lately, I stopped to breathe my +horse on the top of a little hill, in the suburbs of one of the villages +upon the banks of the Hudson. While enjoying the beauty of the fine +landscape before me, my horse, all on a sudden, started violently. I +presently discovered the cause of his fright. Some little rascals were +at play in the unenclosed yard of an old building near, and one of them +was throwing lumps of earth, pieces of broken crockery, rusty +sheet-iron, etc., upon the plank-walk in front. As I turned my head +towards them, a little urchin who was perched upon a knob of the root of +a tree, with his hands upon his knees, cried out, energetically: "There +now, look-a there! Ain't you a pretty fellow? dirtying up the walk so, +when people are going by." His little freckled face expressed real +concern, as he looked fixedly up the walk. Glancing in the same +direction, I saw an elegantly-dressed lady carefully gathering up her +dress, preparatory to encountering the sharp obstacles in her path, and +at once understood the cause of the reproof I had overheard, and which I +assure you, I have transcribed _verbatim_, though the phrase "pretty +fellow" may seem incongruous in the mouth of a dirty little Irish boy. I +only hope the lady--whose gentle smile indicated that she too understood +the scene--was compensated for being so incommoded, by discerning the +_inbred politeness_ of her little champion. + + * * * * * + +As it is your desire that I should deal rather with practical realities +than with generalities or theories, let us come in my next, without +preliminaries, to plain suggestions, presented somewhat in detail, with +the usual simplicity and frankness of that "plain, blunt man," + + Your affectionate uncle + HAL. + + + + +LETTER IV. + +MANNER CONTINUED:--PRACTICAL DIRECTIONS. + + +MY DEAR NEPHEWS: + +If I rightly remember, I concluded my last letter to my young +correspondents with a promise of attempting in my next, some _practical +directions_ in regard to Manner. I will, then, commence, at once +premising only in the impressive words of the immortal senator, who just +at present holds so large a space in the world's eye: "In now opening +this great matter, I am not insensible to the austere demands of the +occasion." + +Important as Manner undoubtedly is, in every relation of life, the +cultivation of an unexceptionable deportment _at home_, may, perhaps, be +regarded as of primary consequence, in securing the happiness at which +all aim, though by means, + + ----"variable as the shade, + By the light, quivering aspen made." + +I think I have already incidentally alluded to the bad taste, to give it +no severer name, so commonly exhibited by young persons in this +country, in their conduct towards _parents_. Let nothing tempt _you_, I +pray you, into habits so discreditable. Manhood is never depreciated by +any true estimate, when yielding tribute to the claims of age.--Towards +your _father_ preserve always a deferential manner, mingled with a +certain frankness, indicating that thorough confidence, that entire +understanding of each other, which is the best guarantee of good sense +in both, and of inestimable value to every young man, blessed with a +right-minded parent. Accept the advice dictated by experience with +respect, receive even reproof without impatience of manner, and hasten +to prove afterwards, that you cherish no resentful remembrance of what +may even have seemed to you too great severity, or too manifest an +assumption of authority. Heed the counsel of an old man, who "through +the loop-holes of retreat" looks calmly on the busy tide of life rolling +forever onward, and let the sod that closes over the heart that throbs +no more even with affection and anxiety for you, leave for you only the +pain of parting--not the haunting demon of _remorse_. Allow no false +pride, no constitutional obstinacy, to interfere with the better +impulses of your nature, in your intercourse with your father, or to +interrupt for an hour the manly trust that should be between you. And in +the inner temple of _home_, as well as when the world looks on, render +him reverence due. + +There should be mingled with the habitual deference and attention that +marks your manner to your _mother_, the indescribable tenderness and +rendering back of care and watchfulness that betokens remembrance of +her love in earlier days. No other woman should ever induce you to +forget this truest, most disinterested friend, nor should your manner +ever indicate even momentary indifference to her wishes or her +affection. Permit me again to refer you to the example of _our country's +pride_ in this regard. You will all remember his marked attention, +through life, to his only parent, and the fact that his first appearance +in public, on a festive occasion, after the triumph of Yorkstown, was in +attendance upon his mother at the ball given at Fredericksburgh, in +celebration of that event. A fair friend of mine, who has written the +most enthusiastically-appreciative description of this memorable scene +that I remember to have read, characterizes the manner of Washington as +illustrating the _moral sublime_, to a degree that filled all beholders +with admiration. But no one needs the examples of history, or the +promptings of friendship, to convince him of a duty to which the +impulses of nature unmistakably direct him: all that I, for a moment, +suppose you require, is to be reminded that no thoughtlessness should +permit your _manner_ to do injustice to your feelings, in this sacred +relation of life. + +The familiarity of domestic intercourse should never degenerate into a +rude disregard for the restraints imposed by refinement, nor an +unfeeling indifference to the feelings of others. With brothers and +sisters even, the sense of equality should be tempered by habitual +self-restraint and courtesy. "No man is great to his _valet de +chambre_"--no man grows, by the superior gifts of nature, or by the +power of circumstance, beyond the genial familiarity of domestic +intercourse. You may be older and wiser than your _brothers_, but no +prerogatives of birthright, of education, or of intellect can excuse +assumption, or make amends for the rupture of the natural tie that is +best strengthened by affectionate consideration and respect. + +To his _sisters_, every man owes a peculiar obligation arising from the +claim nature gives them to his protection, as well as to his love and +sympathy. Nor is this relative claim wholly abrogated even by their +being older than he. The attributes and the admitted rights of our sex +give even younger brothers the privilege,--and such every well +constituted man will consider it,--of assuming towards such relations +the position of a friend, confidant and guardian. And the manner of _a +gentleman_ will always indicate, unmistakably, the delicacy, the +consideration and the respect he considers due to them. I will not +assume the possibility of your being indifferent to their love and +interest; suffice it to say, that both will be best deserved and +preserved by a careful admingling of the observances of politeness +practised towards other women, with the playful freedom sanctioned by +consanguinity. The world will give you no substitutes for the friends +nature provides--they are bound to you by all ties unitedly. Be ever +mindful that no rude touch of yours, sunders or even weakens the +tenderest chords of the heart. + +Since + + ----"modest the manners by Nature bestowed + On Nature's most exquisite child," + +a man's conduct towards his _wife_ should always indicate respect as +well as politeness. No rude familiarity should outrage the delicacy that +veils femininity, no outward indifference or neglect betoken disregard +of the sacred claims of the woman, whom, next to his mother, every man +is bound in honor, to distinguish beyond all others, by courteous +observance. If you consider the affection you doubtless took some pains, +originally, to win, worth preserving, if you think it of any moment to +retain the attributes ascribed to you by the object of that affection, +while you made the endeavor to do full justice to yourself in the eyes +of your _mistress_,[4] would it be wise to prefer no further claims to +such characteristics by your manner to your _wife_? I have never +forgotten the impression made upon me in youth by an exquisite letter in +one of Addison's Spectators, purporting to be written by an old woman, +in regard, if I remember, to the very point we are now discussing. It +contains, as inclosed to the Solon of polite laws in that day, a note +represented to have been written to her, by the husband of the lady, +from a London coffee-house, upon some emergency, which is the very +embodiment of gentle courtesy, and concluding with a respectful apology +for the coarse paper, and other unseemly appliances of the +communication. "Could you see the withered hand that indites this, dear +Mr. Spectator," says the correspondent of Addison, "you would be still +more impressed by the gallantry that remains thus unimpaired by time," +or words to that effect. I have not the original to transcribe from, and +the copy in my _mental tablets_ is a little dimmed by the wear of years. +But though the exact phraseology of the number I allude to is +indistinct, I repeat that I have a thousand times recalled the substance +with the same pure pleasure and admiration. I have not half done justice +to it, and, indeed, I am almost ashamed to have so poorly sketched a +picture whose beauty you may best appreciate by personal inspection. No +tyro should attempt a copy of the production of an _old +master_--especially when the mental magician fails to place the original +before his mind's eye, + + "Pictured fair, in memory's mystic glass." + +But if you do not despise such old-fashioned literature as the writings +of the English classic authors--and certainly, without undue prejudice +in their favor, I may venture, I think, to say, that a knowledge of the +writings of such men as Johnson, Goldsmith, Burke, and Addison, should +make part of the education of every gentleman--if you will look up this +elegant essay, and read it for yourselves, I can safely promise you +ample remuneration for your trouble. + + [4] I shall take the liberty to use the word "_mistress_," throughout + these letters, in the sense appropriated to it by Addison, Johnson, and + other English classic authors. _Sweetheart_ is too old-fashioned. + "_Lady-love_" suits the style of my fashionable nieces, better than + mine. _Mistress_ is an authorized Saxon word, of well-defined meaning, + though, like some others, perverted to a bad use, at times. + +Do not degrade your own ideal by a too minute scrutiny, nor forget that +the shrine of the _Lares_, though it may be approached with the simplest +offerings, is desecrated by even a momentary forgetfulness that its +votaries should be + + "_Content to dwell in decencies, forever!_" + +The chosen friend of your life, the presiding genius of your home, the +mother of your children, then, not only claims the high place of trust +and confidence, but _the proof afforded by manner_ of the existence and +dominance of these sentiments. + +Many men, with the kindest feelings and the clearest perceptions of +duty, are, from mere inadvertency, unobservant of the fact that they +habitually give pain to those dependent on them for consideration, by +neglecting those _graces of manner_ that lend a charm to the most +trifling actions. Remember, while you are forming habits, in this +respect, how sensitively constituted are the gentler sex, how easily +pained, how easily pleased. The more discriminating and affectionate is +woman, the more readily is she wounded. Like a harp of a thousand +strings, her nature, if rudely approached, is jarred responsively, while +the gentlest touch elicits an harmonious thrill. The delightful +_abandon_ that constitutes one of the most exquisite enjoyments of home, +is not augmented, for a man of true refinement, by a total disregard of +ceremony and self-restraint. Selfishness, ill-humor, and a spirit of +petty tyranny, rest assured, though their manifestation be confined to +home intercourse, and borne in silence there, will gradually undermine +character and essentially diminish domestic happiness. + +Earnestly, therefore, do I admonish my youthful relatives to cultivate a +careful observance of the requisitions of what has been well designated +as "_domestic politeness_." Confer favors with ready cheerfulness, or, +if necessary, refuse them with an expression of regret, or a polite +explanation. Never repel solicitations, much less caresses, with +impatience, nor allow your bearing to indicate the reluctant discharge +of a duty that should also be a pleasure. A smile, an intonation of +affection, a glance of appreciation or acknowledgment--small artillery +all, I grant, my boys, but they will suffice to make a _feu-de-joie_ in +a loving heart, that will, each and every one of them, cause you to be +followed in the thorny path of daily life by a blessing that will not +harm you; they will secure you a welcome, when, world-worn, you shall +'homeward plod your weary way,' worth all the gold you have gathered, +and well rewarding all the toil you have encountered. + +I will only add, in this connection, that manhood is ennobled by the +habitual exercise of delicate forbearance towards _helplessness_ and +_dependence_, and that a high test of character is the right _use of +power_. Those, then, whom nature teaches to look to you for affection, +as well as for care and protection--your mother, wife, sisters--should +invariably derive from your _manner_ evidence of the steadfastness of +your interest and regard for them. + +Like most of the aphorisms of the ancients for subtle wisdom, is the +saying, "We should reverence the presence of children." Fresh from the +creating hand of Deity, they are committed to us. While yet unstained by +the pollutions of the world, should we not render a certain homage to +their pristine purity and innocence? Should we not hesitate by +exhibitions of such qualities of our nature as are happily still dormant +in them, to force them into precocious development? The silent _teaching +of example_ tells most effectively upon the young for the reason that +they are insensibly forming in imitation of the models before them, +without the disadvantages of previous habit, or of diminished +impressibility. It is no light sin, then, either in our manner towards +them, or towards others in their presence, to obtrude a false standard +of propriety upon their notice. If manner be, as we have assumed, active +manifestation of character, the ductile minds of these nice observers +and ceaseless imitators must be indeed seriously under its influences. +That careful study of individual peculiarities which paternal duty +imperatively demands, will readily suggest the proper modification of +manner demanded by each different child in a household. It is said that +children are never mistaken judges of character. Certain it is, at +least, that they instinctively discern their true friends, and that of +the "Kingdom of Heaven," as by divine assertion they are--the _Law of +Love_, attempered in its administration by practical good sense, is the +most effective influence that can be brought to bear upon them. Permit +me to recall to your remembrance the _tenderness_ that distinguished the +manner of Christ towards little children. + +Pre-supposing as I have done, thus far in this letter, and as I shall +continue to do, throughout our correspondence, that you regard moral +obligation as the grand incentive to the correct discipline even of the +outer man, arrogating to myself only the office of the lapidary,--that +of endeavoring to polish, not create, the priceless jewel of +_principle_, I shall make no apology for the suggestion, that manner +should not be regarded as beneath the attention of a Christian +gentleman, in his intercourse with such inmates of his household as may +from any circumstance be peculiarly sensitive to indications of +negligent observance. The _aged_, the _infirm_, the _insignificant_, the +_dependent_; all, in short, who are particularly afflicted "in mind, +body, or estate," are suitable recipients of the most expressive +courtesies of manner. + +Perhaps no single phase of _manner at home_ more correctly illustrates +nice mental and moral perceptions than the treatment of _servants_ and +_inferiors_ generally. One may be just to the primary obligations +evolved by this relation to others, and yet always receive the service +of fear rather than of affection. All needless assumption of authority +or superiority, in connection with this position, is indicative of +inherent vulgarity, and is at as great a remove from a true standard as +is undue familiarity. Never to manifest pleasure even by a smile, never +to make an acknowledgment in words, of the kindly offices that money +cannot adequately reward, may be very grand and stately, but such +sublime elevation above one's fellow-creatures raises the heart to +rather an Alpine attitude--to a height at which the _milk of human +kindness_ even, may congeal! + +Always accept voluntary service with the slight acknowledgment that +suffices to indicate your consciousness of it, nor deem it unworthy of +one pilgrim upon the great highway of life to cheer another upon whom +the toil and burden falls heaviest, by a smile or a word of +encouragement. The language of request is, as a rule, in better taste +than that of command, and, in most instances, elicits more ready, as +well as cheerful obedience. Scott makes Queen Elizabeth say, on a +momentous occasion, "Sussex, I entreat; Leicester, I command!" "But," +adds the author, "the entreaty sounded like a command, and the command +was uttered in a tone of entreaty." Can you make only a lesson in +elocution out of this; or will it also illustrate our present theme? + +Few persons who have not had their attention called to this subject, +have any just conception of the real benefits that may be conferred upon +those beneath us in station by a _pleasant word uttered in a pleasant +tone_. Like animals and young children, uneducated persons are +peculiarly susceptible to all external influences. They are easily +amused, easily gratified--shall I add, easily _satisfied_, mentally? +The comparatively vacant mind readily admits an impression from without; +hence, he who "whistles for want of thought," will whistle more cheerily +for the introduction of an agreeable remembrance, into the unfurnished +"chambers of imagery," and the humble plodder who relieves us of a +portion of the dead weight that oppresses humanity, will go on his way +rejoicing; ofttimes for many a weary mile, impelled by a single word of +encouragement from his superior officer in the "Grand Army" of life. But +I hear you say, "Uncle Hal grows military--'the ruling passion strong' +even in letter-writing. Like the dying Napoleon, his last words will be +'_Tete d'Armee!_'"--Well, well, boys! pardon an old man's +diffuseness!--his twilight dullness! + +There are occasions when to _talk_ to servants and other employes, make +part of a humane bearing towards them. To converse with them in relation +to _their_ affairs rather than our own, is the wiser course, and to +mingle a little appropriate instruction withal, may not be amiss. +Remember, too, how easily undisciplined persons are frightened by an +imperious, or otherwise injudicious, manner on the part of their +superiors, out of the self-possession essential to their comprehension +of our wants and language. + + * * * * * + +I believe even the American author who has long concentrated his mental +energies in elaborating the literary apotheosis of _Napoleon le Grand_, +has not ascribed to his idol excessive _refinement of manner_. His +attempts at playfulness always degenerated into buffoonery, and his +habitual bearing towards women, in whatever relation they stood to him, +was unmistakable evidence of his utter want of nicety of perception on +this point. + +Holding a reception, on one occasion, in a gallery of the Tuileries for +his relatives, his mother was present, with others of his family. The +emperor proffered his hand to each in turn to kiss. Last of all, his +venerable parent approached him. As before, he proffered his hand. With +an air worthy of the severe dignity of a matron of early Grecian days, +"Madame Mere" waved it aside, and, extending her own, said, "You are the +king, the emperor, of all the rest, but you are _my son_!" Would a man +imbued with + + "The fair humanities of old religion" + +have needed such a rebuke, from such a source, think you? + +Bonaparte was quite as stringent in his enforcement of court rules, +in regard to dress and all matters of detail, as Louis XIV. +himself, and often quite as absurd as the "_Grand Monarque_" in +his requisitions.--Abruptly approaching a high-born lady of the old +_regime_, one of the members of Josephine's household, who from illness +(and, perhaps, disgust commingled) had disobeyed an edict commanding +_full dress_ at an early hour on a particular morning, as she leaned +against a window in this same gallery of the Tuileries, the First Consul +contemptuously kicked aside her train, at the same time addressing the +wearer in an outburst of coarse vituperation. + +Madame Junot records a characteristic illustration of Napoleon's unmanly +disregard of the constitutional timidity of his first wife, as well as +of his manner towards her in general. + +As they were about to cross a turbulent stream upon an insecure-looking +bridge, in a carriage, the Empress expressed a wish to alight. Napoleon +forcibly interfered, but permitted the fair narrator of the incident, +who was in the carriage with them, to do so, upon her informing him with +the _naivete_ of a true French-woman, that there was a special reason +for her avoiding a fright! Josephine wept in helpless terror, even when +the ordeal was safely passed. By-and-by, the whole _cortege_ stopped, +and every one alighted; the imperial tyrant rudely seizing the empress +by the arm, dragged her towards the destination of the party, in a +neighboring wood, saying, as he urged her forward: "You look ugly when +you cry!" + +One of Napoleon's biographers has said of him that many passages in his +letters to Josephine were such as no decent Englishman would address to +his 'lady light o' love,' and it is well known that his earliest +intercourse with the proud daughter of the House of Hapsburg--the +shrinking representative of the hereditary refinement of a long line of +high-bred women--was marked by the merest brutality. It was left to a +citizen of our Republic to discover, in the year of our Lord one +thousand, eight hundred and fifty-five, that this man was the +"_Washington of France!_" and to communicate the marvellous fact to the +present occupant of the imperial throne of the Great Captain--who is, by +the way, _the grandson of the repudiated Josephine_! + + * * * * * + +Steaming along the Ohio, some years ago, I had the good-fortune to fall +in with the most agreeable companions, a father and son, Kentuckians, of +education and good-breeding. The father had won high public honors in +his native State, and the son was just entering upon a career demanding +the full exercise of his fine natural gifts. I was particularly +attracted by the cordial confidence and affection these gentlemen +manifested towards each other, and by the manly deference rendered by +the youth to his venerable sire. + +A storm drove us all into the cabin, in the evening, and, while the +elder of my two new friends and I pursued a quiet conversation in one +part of the room, his son joined a group of young men at some distance +from us. Gradually the mirth of those youngsters became so roisterous as +to disturb our talk. Hot and hotter waged their sport, loud and louder +grew their laughter, until our voices were fairly drowned, at intervals. +More than once, I saw the punctilious gentleman of the old school glance +towards the merry party, of which, by the way, his son was one of the +least boisterous. At length he spoke, and his clear, calm voice rang +like a trumpet-note through the apartment: + +"Frederick!"--there was an instant lull in the storm, and the faces of +each of the group turned to us--"make a little less noise, if you +please." + +The youth rose immediately and advanced towards us: "Gentlemen," said +he, with a heightened color and a respectful bow, "I beg your pardon! I +really was not aware of being so rude." + +I said something about the very natural buoyancy of youthful spirits; +but I did _not_ say that this little scene had the effect upon me that +might be produced by unexpectedly meeting, in the log-hut of a +back-woodsman, with a painting by an old master, representing some fine +incident of classical or chivalrous history--as, for instance, the +youthful Roman restoring the beautiful virgin prisoner to her friends +with the words, "far be it from Scipio to purchase pleasure at the +expense of virtue!" + +My pleasure in observing the intercourse of these amiable relatives in +some degree prepared me for the enjoyment in store for the favored +guest, who, at the earnest instance of both father and son, a few days +afterwards, turned aside in his journey to seek them, _at home_. It was +a scene worthy the taste and the pen of Washington Irving himself, that +quaint-looking old family mansion,--in the internal arrangements of +which there was just enough of modern comfort and adornment to typify +the softened conservatism of the host,--and the family group that +welcomed the stranger, with almost patriarchal simplicity and +hospitality. Really it was a strange episode in busy American life. My +venerable friend sat, indeed, "under the shadow of his own vine and +fig-tree, with none to make him afraid," reaping the legitimate reward +of an honorable, well-spent life, and beside him the friend who had kept +her place through the heat and burden of the day, and now shared the +serene repose of the evening of his life. What placid beauty still +lingered in that matron face, what "dignity and love" marked every +action! And the fair daughters of the house, who, like Desdemona, "ever +and anon would come again and gather up our discourse," in the intervals +of household duty, or social obligation--they seemed to vie with each +other and with their brother in every thoughtful and graceful observance +towards their parents and towards me, and the noble boy--for he really +was scarcely more, even reckoned by the estimate of this "fast" +age--unspoiled by the dangerous prerogatives of an only son, manifestly +regarded the bright young band of which he still made one, with the +mingled tenderness and pride that would ever shield them from + + "The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune." + +These all surrounded my venerable host and hostess, as they gently and +calmly turned their feet towards the downward path of life, with +intertwining hearts and hands--like a garland of roses enwreathing +time-worn twin-trees--ever on the watch to lighten each burden they +would fain have wholly assumed, and with loving care striving to put far +off for them the evil day when the "grasshopper shall be a burden." + +But I essay a vain task when I would picture such a scene for you, my +friends. If I may hope that I have made _a study_, from which you will +catch a passing suggestion for future use, in the limning of your own +life-portraits, it is well. + + * * * * * + +Chancellor K----, who was my life-long friend, retained, even in the +latest years of his lengthened life, an almost youthful sprightliness of +feeling and manner. His son, himself a learned and distinguished son of +the law, thought no duty more imperative, even in the prime of his +manhood and in mid career in his honorable profession, than that of +devotion to his father, in his declining years. He fixed his residence +near, or with, his venerable parent, and, like the son of ancient Priam, +long sustained the failing steps of age. Few things have impressed me +more favorably, in my intercourse with the world, than this noble +self-sacrifice. + +No one unacquainted with my vivacious friend can appreciate the full +expressiveness of his characteristic remark to me, on an occasion when +his son happened to be the theme of conversation between us. "_I like +that young man amazingly!_" said the chancellor. + + * * * * * + +I still remember the impression made on me, when a boy, by meeting, in +the streets of my native city, a stalwart young sailor, arrayed in +holiday dress, and walking with his mother, a little, withered old +woman, in a decent black dress, hanging upon his arm. How often that +powerful form, the impersonation of youth, health, and physical +activity, has risen up before my mind's eye, in contrast with the +little, tremulous figure he supported with such watchful care, and upon +which such protecting tenderness breathed from every feature of his +honest, weather-embrowned face. + + * * * * * + +Bob and Charley grew side by side, like two fine young saplings in a +wood, for some years. After awhile, however, the brothers were +separated. Bob went to a large city, became a merchant, grew rich, lived +in a fine house, was a Bank Director, and an Alderman. His younger +brother, pursuing a more modest, but equally manly and elevated career, +seldom met Bob during some years, and then only briefly at their +father's house, when there was a family gathering at Thanksgiving, or on +some other similar occasion. + +Once, when I chanced to see these young men together, thus, I remarked +that, while the sisters of each clung round the neck of the unassuming, +but true-hearted, right-minded Charley, at his coming, and lost no +opportunity of being with him, the repellant manner of the elder brother +held all more or less aloof, though none failed in polite observance +towards him. Egotistical and pompous, he seemed to regard those about +him as belonging to an inferior race. As his brother and I sat talking +together near a table upon which were refreshments, he actually had the +rudeness to reach between us for a glass, without the slightest word or +token of apology, with his arm so near to his brother's face as almost +to touch it! There was more of shame than indignation expressed in that +fine, ingenuous countenance when it again met my unobstructed gaze, and +I thought I detected a slight tremor in the sentence he uttered next in +the order of our conversation. + +Before my visit that day was at an end, I found myself exceedingly +embarrassed as an unwilling auditor of a political discussion between +Bob and his father, which grew, at length, into an angry dispute, little +creditable to, at least, the younger of the two word-combatants. + +As I stood in the hall that night, awaiting my carriage, I saw Charley +advance to the door of the library, opening near, and knock lightly. The +voice of his aged father bade him enter. Opening the door, the young +man, taking his hat quite off, and bowing almost reverentially, said +only, "I bid you good night, sir," and quietly closed it again. When +they turned towards me, there was almost a woman's softness in eyes that +would have looked undimmed upon the fiercest foe or the deadliest +peril.--Think you the Recording Angel flew up to Heaven's high Chancery +with a testimony of that day's deeds and words? + +Once, after this, Charley had occasion to visit the city where Bob +resided. Breakfast over, at his hotel, he sallied forth to call on Bob, +at his own house, and attend, subsequently, to other matters. + +He was shown into an elegant drawing-room, where the master of the +mansion sat reading a newspaper. Without rising, he offered his hand, +coldly, and before inviting his visitor to sit, took occasion to say +that his wife's having an engagement to spend the day out of town would +prevent his inviting his brother to dine! + +As Charley descended the steps of his brother's stately mansion, at the +termination of his brief call that day, he silently registered a vow +never again to cross his threshold, unless impelled by imperative duty. +And yet Bob is not only a rich merchant, an Alderman, and a Bank +Director, but a _man of fashion_! + + * * * * * + +One of the most discriminating and truthful delineators of life and +manners whom we boast among our native authors, prominent among the +characteristic traits he ascribes to an old English gentleman, of whom +he gives us an exquisite portraiture, is that of such considerate +kindness towards an old servant as to make him endure his peevishness +and obstinacy with good humor, and affect to consult and agree with +him, until he gains an important practical point with "time-honored +age." + + * * * * * + +Illustrative of our subject is one of the anecdotes recorded of the poet +Rogers, in his recently published life: + +"Mr. Rogers," said the body-servant, who had long attended him in his +helpless years, "_we_ are invited to dine with Miss Coutts." The +italicizing is mine. Is it not suggestive? + +You remember the rest of the anecdote; Rogers had the habit, during the +latter years of his life, of writing, when able to use his pen, notes to +be dated and directed as occasion required, in this established form +"Pity me, I am engaged." So, on this occasion, the careful attendant +added: "The _pity-me's_ are all gone!" + + * * * * * + +Weather-bound during the long, cold winter of 18--, by a protracted +snow-storm and a severe cold, in the house of an old friend, I left my +comfortable private quarters one morning for a little walk up and down +the corridor into which my own apartment and those of the family opened. + +By and by the active step of my hostess crossed my sauntering way. + +"Perhaps it may amuse you to come into the nursery, a little while, +colonel," said she, "it will be a novelty, at least, to you, to see +behind the scenes." + +"I feel myself honored by the permission, I assure you; the _green-room_ +always has an interest for me!" returned I; and I was soon ensconced in +a large, cushioned-chair, in a cozy corner, near the open, old-fashioned +"franklin" in which blazed a cheerful wood-fire. The rosy-cheeked +juveniles among whom I found myself vied with each other in efforts to +promote my comfort. One brought her own little chair, and placed it to +support my feet; another climbed up and stuffed a soft cushion greatly +larger than his own rotund, dumpling of a figure, between me and the +chair-back, assuring me with a grave shake of the head, in which I saw +the future Esculapius, "it is so nice ven your head do ache--mamma say +so, ven I put him on her always!" and bright-eyed little Bessie, between +whom and me a very good understanding already existed, crowned the +varied hospitalities of my initiatory visit by offering me the use of +her tiny muff! + +My hostess, though she kept an observant eye upon us, from her seat by +her work-table over against my arm-chair, had too much tact to interfere +with the proceedings of my ministering cherubs; except to prevent the +possibility of my being annoyed. + +When I had leisure to reconnoitre a little, I discovered, among the +other fixtures in the large, well-lighted, cheerful-looking apartment, +an old woman with a good-humored face and portly person, seated near a +window, sewing, with a large, well-stored basket of unmended linen and +hosiery before her. + +Presently, the eldest son, a fine manly boy of some sixteen years +entered, hat and cane in hand. Used, I suppose, to a jumble of faces and +forms, in this human kaleidoscope, he evidently did not observe the +quiet figure in the high-backed chair. "Mother," he exclaimed in a tone +in which boyish animation and the utmost affection were singularly +united, striding across the room, like the Colossus of Rhodes, suddenly +endued with powers of locomotion: "Mother, you are the most beautiful +and irresistible of your beautiful and irresistible sex!" and stooping, +he pressed his full, cherry lips gently upon her rounded cheek. + +A flash of amusement, mingled with the love-light in the soft eyes that +met those of the boy. He turned quickly. A scarcely-discernible +embarrassment of manner, and a quick flush in the bright young face, +were all that I had time to note, before he was at my side with a +cordial greeting and a playful welcome to "Mother's Land of Promise." + +"Land of Nod, say rather," replied the presiding genius of the scene, +pointing to the quiescent form of little Bessie, who--her curly head +pillowed on her chubby arm--was just losing all consciousness of the +world, upon the rug at her mother's feet. + +"George, what an armful!" said the youth, in a sort of half undertone, +as he tenderly lifted the little lay figure, and bore it to a crib. +"Don't get up, mother, I can cover her nicely. I say, mammy [an arch +glance over his shoulder towards the ancient matron of the +sewing-basket], how heavy bread and milk is, though, eh!" + +"Speaking of bread and milk, here comes lunch," continued my hero for +the nonce, rubbing his hands energetically, and only desisting to give a +table the dextrous twirl that would bring it near his mother, and assist +the labors of the servant who had entered with a tray. + +"Will, you immense fellow, take yourself out of the way! Colonel, permit +me to give your sedan-chair just the slightest impulse forward, and so +save you the trouble of moving. My adorable mother, allow me the honor +of being your Ganymede. Here we are, all right! Now, let's see what +there is--ham, baked apples, cold roast beef, hot cocoa--not so bad, +'pon my word. Colonel, I hope this crispy morning has given you some +appetite, after your hard cold--allow me"-- + +"Mammy fust," here interposed little Will, authoritatively, "'cause she +older dan us!" and, carefully holding the heaped-up plate his mother +placed in both hands, he deliberately adventured an overland journey to +the distant object of his affectionate solicitude. + +At this juncture, it was discovered that the servant-man who brought up +the tray, had forgotten the sugar, and a young nursery-maid was +dispatched for it. Upon her return she contrived, by some awkwardness in +closing the door, to spill the whole result of her mission to the +pantry upon the floor. Her arms dropped by her sides, as if suddenly +paralyzed, and I noticed a remarkable variety in the shade of her broad +Irish physiognomy. + +"There is no great harm done, Biddy," said my hostess, immediately, in a +peculiarly quiet, gentle voice, "just step down to John for another +bowlful. While poor Biddy is collecting her scattered senses on the +stairs, my son, will you kindly assist Willie in picking up the most +noticeable lumps?--put them in this saucer, my dear. She is just +learning, you know and--she would not cross that Rubicon as bravely as +the classic hero you were reading of last night." + +"While we are so literary, mother--what is it about the dolphin? If I +remember rightly Bid was a pretty good exemplification"---- + +"Hush!--I am glad you thought to bring up more apples, Biddy. Colonel, +here is the most tempting spitzenberg--so good for a cold, too. Take +this to mammy will you, Biddy? The one I sent you before, was not so +nice as these, mammy--your favorite kind, you know." + +Amused with the new scene in which I found myself, I accepted the +assurance of the fair _home mother_, as the Germans have it, that I was +not in the way, and lingered a little longer. + +By and by, John came up to tell his mistress that there was an old man +at the door with a basket of little things to sell, and that he had sent +a box of sealing-wax for her to look at. + +"Poo' man! poo' man?" said little Will, running up to my knee, with such +a sorrowful look in his innocent face--"an' it so-o-o col'," he added, +catching his mother's words, as if by instinct. + +"Take him down the money, John," I overheard, in the intervals between +the discourse of my juvenile instructor, "and this cup of chocolate--it +will warm him. Ask him to sit by the hall stove, while he drinks it." +Nothing was said about the exceedingly portly brace of sandwiches that +were manufactured by the busiest of fingers, and which, through the +golden veil of Willie's light curls, I saw snugly tucked in, on either +side of the saucer. + +"Now, young ladies," continued my amiable friend, addressing a bevy of +her rosy-cheeked young nieces, who had just before entered the room, +"here is a stick of fancy-colored wax, for each of us--make your own +choice. Luckily there is a red stick for Col. Lunettes" (a half +deprecatory glance at me), "the only color gentlemen use. And," as she +received the box again--"there is some for mammy and me--we are in +partnership, you know, mammy!" + +A pleased look from the centre of the wide cap-frills by the window, was +the only response to this appeal; but I had repeatedly observed that, +despite her industry, mammy's huge spectacles took careful cognizance of +the various proceedings around her. + +As I was about, for very shame, to beat a retreat, a cheery--"good +morning, Colonel, I tapped at your door, as I came up, and thought you +were napping it," arrested my intended departure. "So wifie has coaxed +you in here! Just like her! She thinks she can take the best care of you +with"-- + +"With the rest of the children!" I interrupted. + +"My _loving spou_," as Bessie says, when she recites John Gilpin, "may I +trouble you to tie my cravat?" And with that important article of attire +in his hand, my friend knelt upon a low foot-stool, before his household +divinity. + +"Thompson," said I, "I always knew you were one of the luckiest fellows +in the whole world; but may I ask--just as a point of scientific +inquiry--whether that office is always performed for you, + + 'One fair spirit for your minister?'" + +"Not a bit of it! No indeed, 'pon my word! only when I go to a dinner, +as to-day--or to church, or--I say, Will, you unmitigated rogue, how +dare you! you'll spoil my cravat--don't you see mamma is just tying it!" + +The little fellow thus objurgated, his eyes scintillating with mirth, +now fairly astride of his father's shoulders, clung tenaciously to his +prize, and petitioned for a ride in his familiar seat. + +Resorting to stratagem, where force would ill apply, the father, rising +with a "thank you, dear wifie," retired backward towards a wide bed, +and, by a dextrous movement, suddenly landed his youthful captor in a +heap in the middle. + +To lose no time, the brave boy, "conquered, but not subdued," made the +best use of his lungs, while reducing his arms and legs to order, and +Bessie, opening her beaming eyes, at this outcry, stretched out her arms +to aid her pathetic appeal to papa to "p'ay one little hos" with her, +"_only but one_!" + +Evidently fearful of being out-generalled, the invader beat a rapid +retreat from the enemy's camp, with the words "thank you, love, I +believe the little rascal didn't tumble it, though I came within an ace, +like a real alderman, of _dying of a dinner_--before it was eaten!" + +After this initiatory visit to the nursery of my fair friend, Mrs. +Thompson, I was allowed to come and go at my own pleasure, during the +remainder of my visit beneath her hospitable roof, and I found myself so +interested and amused by what I witnessed there, as often to leave the +solitude of my own apartment, though surrounded there by every possible +"aid and appliance" of comfort and enjoyment that refinement and +courtesy could supply, to learn the most beautiful lessons of practical +wisdom and goodness from the most unpretending of teachers. + +One morning when the _habitue_ had sought his accustomed post of +observation, a young lady presented herself at the door, and seeing me, +was about to retreat with something about its being very early for a +visit, when Mrs. Thompson recalled her with a "Come in, my dear, and let +me have the pleasure of presenting you to Colonel Lunettes, the friend +of whom you have heard us all speak so often." + +After the usual courtesies, this lovely earth-angel, with some +hesitation, and drawing her chair nearer her friend, explained her +errand. + +Making a little screen of a cherub-head, as was my wont, I regaled +myself unobserved, with the music of sweet voices and the study of +pretty faces. I caught--"my old drawing-teacher"--"her husband was a +brute in their best days"--"this long, hard winter"--"not even a +carpet"--"the poor child on a wooden-bottomed chair, with a little dirty +pillow behind her head, and so emaciated!"--here there was a very +perceptible quiver in the low tones, followed by a little choking sort +of pause. + +"I am really grateful to you for coming--I have been unusually occupied +lately by the baby's illness and other duties--the weather has given me +more than one twinge of conscience"--this accompanied by a quiet +transfer from one purse to another, and then I heard, as the two ladies +bent over the crib of the sleeping infant--"is there a stout boy among +the children? There are the barrels of pork and beef, always ready in +the cellar--each good and wholesome of their kind--husband always has +them brought from the farm on purpose to give away; and we have +abundance of fine potatoes--John could not readily find the place, and +really, just now, he is pretty busy; still, perhaps, they have the +natural pride of better days--if you think it well, I will try to +send"--the gentle ministers of mercy left the room together, and I heard +no more. + +Presently, the youth of whom I have before spoken, still at home +enjoying his holiday's college vacation, joined me, and, between the +exercises of an entertaining gymnastic exhibition, in which he and +Willie were the chief performers, regaled me with humorous sketches of +college adventures, anecdotes of the professors, etc., in the details of +some of which I think he had his quiet old nurse in his mind's eye, as +well as his father's guest. + +When Mrs. Thompson resumed her accustomed seat at her business-table, as +it might well be called, my agreeable young entertainer slid away from +the group about the fire, and was soon snugged down, in his own favorite +fashion, with his legs comfortably crossed over the top of the chair +sustaining mammy's implements, cheek-by-jowl with the venerable genius +of the sewing-basket, dipping into a newspaper, and chatting, at +intervals, with his humble friend. Once in a while I caught a sentence +like this: + +"I say, mammy, you can't begin to think how glad I am you are getting +down to my shirts! Such work as they make washing for a fellow at +college! My black washerwoman (and such a beauty as she is--such a +little rosebud of a mouth!) pretends to fasten the loose buttons--now, +there is a specimen of her performances--just look! The real truth is, +Mrs. Welch, that mother and you are the only women I know of who can sew +on a button worth a pin--just the only two, by George! Now, there's +Pierre de Carradeaux, one of our young fellows down there--his friends +all live in Hayti, or some other unknown and uninhabitable region, you +know, over the sea--I wish you could see his clothes! The way they mend +at the tailors! But the darns in his stockings are the funniest. He +rooms with me, and so I hear him talking to himself, in French. I am +afraid he swears, sometimes--but the way he fares is enough to make a +saint swear!" And then followed a detail that caused mammy to wipe her +eyes in sympathy with this strange phase of human woe, in alternation +with an occasional exclamation of amusement--like, "You'll surely be the +death of me, Master Sidney!" apparently forced spasmodically from her +lips, despite the self-imposed taciturnity which, I shrewdly suspected, +my presence created. + +"Mother, my revered maternal primitive, may I read you this anecdote? +Colonel, will you allow me?"--a respectful glance at the book in my +hand. And squeezing himself in from behind, by some utterly +inconceivable india-rubber pliancy, between the fire and his +much-enduring parent, the tall form of the stripling slowly subsided +until I could discern nothing but a mass of wavy black hair reposing +amid the soft folds of his mother's morning-gown, and a bit of his +newspaper. Thus disposed, apparently to the entire satisfaction of all +concerned, he read: + +"Once, while the celebrated John Kemble, the renowned actor and acute +critic, was still seated at the dinner-table of an English nobleman, +with whom he had been dining, a servant announced that Mrs. Kemble +awaited her husband in a carriage at the door. Some time elapsed, and +the impersonator of Shakspeare's mighty creations remained immovable. +At length the servant, re-entering, said: 'Mrs. Kemble bids me say, sir, +that she is afraid of getting the _rheumatiz_.' 'Add _ism_,' replied the +imperturbable critic of language, and quietly continued his discourse +with his host." + +"If I should ever be compelled to marry--which, of course, I never shall +unless you disinherit me, mother, or mammy insists upon leaving us to +keep house for that handsome widower, in the long snuff +overcoat--[though the respectable female thus alluded to did not even +glance up from her stitching, I plainly marked a little nod of virtuous +defiance, and a fluttering in the crimpings of the ample cap-border, +that plainly expressed desperation to the hopes of the widower +aforesaid]--but if fate _should_ decree my 'attaining knowledge under +difficulties,' upon this subject, I hope I'll be a little too decent to +keep my wife sitting out doors in a London fog (I shall make a bridal +tour to Europe, of course), while I am imbibing, even with a 'nobleman.' +Speaking of the tyranny of fate, I am, most reluctantly, compelled to +deprive you of my refreshing conversation, my dear and excellent mother. +If my dilapidated linen is restored to its virgin integrity: in other +words, if my shirt is done, I propose retiring to the deepest shades of +private life, and getting myself up, without the slightest consideration +for the financial affairs of my honored masculine progenitor, for a +morning call upon ----, the fortunate youthful beauty I, at present, +honor with my particular adoration." So saying, Sir Hopeful slowly +emerged from his 'loop-hole of retreat,' and making a profound obeisance +to his guardian spirit, and another to me, a shade less lowly, he took +himself off, with his linen over his arm, and a grand parting flourish +at the door, with his hat upon his walking-stick, for the especial +benefit of his little brother, which elicited a shout of unmingled +admiration from the juvenile spectators that need not have been despised +by Herr Alexander himself. + +During dinner that day, as the varied and most bountiful course of +pastry, etc., was about to be removed, young Sidney said: + +"Mother, allow me to relieve you of the largest half of that +solitary-looking piece of mince-pie. I am sorry I cannot afford to take +the whole of it under my protecting care." + +"My dear son," replied my hostess, pleasantly, "let me suggest the +attractions of variety. You have already done your _devoir_ to this pie. +Your father pronounces the cocoanut excellent"--and then, as if in reply +to the look of surprise that met her good-humored sally, she added, in a +tone meant only for the ears of the youth, "this happens to be the last, +and mammy eats no other, you remember." + +"No great matter, either; to-morrow will be baking-day. Now I know why +you took none yourself, mother," answered Sidney, cheerfully, in the +same "aside" manner; and the placid smile on the hospitable face of the +'home-mother' alone acknowledged her recognition of the ascription of +self-denial to her; for it is not occasionally, but always, that + + "In the clear heaven of her delightful eye, + An angel guard of loves and graces lie." + + Adieu! + UNCLE HAL. + + + + +LETTER V. + +MANNER--PRACTICAL DIRECTIONS. + + +MY DEAR NEPHEWS: + +Though good breeding is always and everywhere essentially the same, +there are phases of daily life, especially demanding its exhibition. +_Manner in the street_ is one of these. + +Even in hours most exclusively devoted to business, do not allow +yourself to hurry along with a clouded, absent face and bent head, as if +you forever felt the foot of the earth-god on your neck! Carry an erect +and open brow into the very midst of the heat and burden of the day. +Take time to see your friends, as they cross you in the busy +thoroughfares of life and, at least by a passing smile or a gesture of +recognition, give token that you are not resolved into a mere +money-making machine, and both will be better for this fleeting +manifestation of the inner being. + +During business hours and in crowded business-streets no man should ever +stop another, whom he knows to be necessarily constantly occupied at +such times, except upon a matter of urgent need, and then if he alone +is to be benefited by the detention, he should briefly apologize and +state his errand in as few words as possible. + +But the habit of a cheerful tone of voice, a cordial smile, and friendly +grasp of the hand, when meeting those with whom one is associated in +social life, is not to be regarded as unimportant. + +If you do not intend to stop, when meeting a gentleman friend, recognize +him as you approach, by a smile, and touching your hat salute him +audibly with--"Good morning, sir," or "I hope you are well, sir," or +(more familiarly), "Ah, Charley!--good morning to you." But don't say, +"How d' ye do, sir," when you cannot expect to learn, nor call back as +you pass, something that will cause him to linger, uncertain what you +say. + +If you wish to stop a moment, especially in a thoroughfare, retain the +hand you take, while you retire a little out of the human current; and +never fall into the absurdity of attempting to draw a tight or moistened +glove while another waits the slow process. It is better to offer the +gloved hand as a rule, without apology, in the street. + +If you are compelled to detain a friend, when he is walking with a +stranger, briefly but politely apologize to the stranger, and keep no +one "in durance vile" longer than absolute necessity requires. When thus +circumstanced yourself, respond cheerfully and courteously to the +apologetic phrase offered, and, drawing a little aside, occupy yourself +with anything beside the private conversation that interrupts your +walk. Sometimes circumstances render it decorous to pass on with some +courteous phrase, to step into some neighboring bookseller's, etc., or +to make a rapid appointment for a re-union. Cultivate the quick +discernment, the ready tact, that will engender _ease of manner_ under +those and similar circumstances requiring prompt action. + +Never leave a friend suddenly in the street, either to join another, or +for any other reason, without an apology; the briefest phrase, expressed +in a _cordial tone_, will suffice, in an emergency. + +Upon passing servants, or other inferiors in station, whom you wish to +recognize, in the street, it is a good practice, without bowing or +touching the hat, to salute them in a kindly voice. + +When you meet a gentleman whom you know, walking with one or more +ladies, with whom you are not acquainted, bow with grave respect to them +also. + +Politeness requires that upon meeting ladies and gentlemen together, +with both of whom one is acquainted, that one should lift the hat as he +approaches them, and bowing first to the ladies, include the gentleman +in a sweeping motion, or a succeeding bow, as the case permits. Should +you stop, speak first to the lady, but do not offer to shake hands with +a lady in full morning costume, should your glove be dark-colored or +your hand uncovered. Again lift your hat to each, in succession of age +or rank, as a substitute for this dubious civility, with some playful +expression, as "I am sorry my glove is not quite fresh, Mrs. ----, but +you need no assurance of my being always the most devoted of your +friends" or "admirers," or "Really, Miss ----, you are so beautifully +dressed, and looking so charmingly, that I dare not venture too near!" +And as you part, again take your hat quite off, letting the party _pass +you_, and on the wall side of the street, if that be practicable. + +In the street with other men, carefully give that precedence to superior +age or station which is so becoming in the young, by taking the outer +side of the pavement, or that nearer the counter current, as +circumstances may make most polite. When you give, or have an arm, +carefully avoid all erratic movements, and _keep step_, like a +well-trained soldier! + +Towards _ladies_, in the streets, the most punctilious observance of +politeness is due. Walking with them, one should, of course, assume the +relative position best adapted to protect them from inconvenience or +danger, and carefully note and relieve them from the approach of either. +In attending them into a store, &c., always give them precedence, +holding the door open from without, if practicable. If compelled to pass +before them, to attend to this courtesy, say, "allow me," or "with your +permission," etc. Meeting ladies, the hat should be taken off as you +bow, and replaced when you have passed, or, if you pause to address +them, politely raised again as you quit them. + +When you are stopped by a lady friend in the street, at once place +yourself so as best to shield her from the throng, if you are in a +crowd, or from passing vehicles, etc., and never by your manner +indicate either surprise or embarrassment upon such an occasion. Allow +_her_ to terminate the interview, and raise your hat quite off as you +take leave of her. + +When a stranger lady addresses an inquiry to you in the street, or when +you restore something she has inadvertently dropped, touch your hat +ceremoniously, and with some phrase or _accent_ of respect, add grace to +a civility. + +If you have occasion to speak more than a word or two to a lady whom you +may meet in walking, turn and accompany her while you say what you wish, +and, taking off your hat, when you withdraw, express your regret at +losing the further enjoyment of her society, or the like. + +If you wish to join a lady whom you see before you, be careful in +hurrying forward not to incommode her (or others, indeed), and do not +speak so hurriedly, or loudly, as to startle her, or arrest attention, +and should you have only a slight acquaintance with her, say, as you +assume a position at her side, "With your permission, madam, I will +attend you," or "Give me leave to join your walk, Miss ----" etc. + +Of course, no well-bred man ever risks the possibility of intrusion in +this way, or ever speaks first to a lady to whom he has only had a +passing introduction. In the latter case, you look at a lady as you +advance towards her, and await her recognition. + +Speaking of an intrusion, you should be well assured that you will not +make an _awkward third_ before you venture to attach yourself to a lady +and gentleman walking together, though you may even know them very +well; and the same rule holds good in a picture-gallery, rococo-shop, or +elsewhere, when two persons, or a party, sit or walk together. + +Every man is bound by the laws of courtesy, to note any street accident +that imperils ladies, and at once to hasten to render such service as +the occasion requires. Promptitude and self-possession may do good +service to humanity and the fair, at such a juncture. + +Should you observe ladies whom you know, unattended by a gentleman, +alighting from or entering a carriage, especially if there is no +footman, and the driver maintains his seat, at once advance, hold the +door open, and offer your hand, or protect a dress from the wheel, or +the like, and bowing, pass on, all needed service rendered; or, if more +familiarity and your own wish sanction it, accompany them where they may +chance to be entering. + +No general rule can be laid down respecting offering the arm to ladies +in the street. Where persons are known and reside habitually, local +custom will usually be the best guide. At night, the arm should always +be tendered, and so in ascending the multiplied steps of a public +building, etc., for equally obvious reasons. For similar cause, you go +before ladies into church, into a crowded concert-room, etc., wherever, +in short, they are best aided in securing seats, and escaping jostling, +by this precedence of them. When attending a stranger lady, in visiting +the noted places of your own city, or the like, and when one of a party +for a long walk, or of travellers, it may often be an imperative +civility to proffer the arm. To relatives, or elderly ladies, this is +always a proper courtesy, as it is to every woman, when you can thus +most effectually secure her safety or her comfort. + +Do not forget, when walking with elderly people, or ladies, to moderate +the headlong speed of your usual step. + +I will here enter my most emphatic protest against a practice of which +ladies so justly complain,--the too-frequent rudeness of men in +stationing themselves at the entrance of churches, concert-rooms, opera +houses, etc., for the express purpose, apparently, of staring every +modest woman who may chance to enter, out of countenance. No one +possessed of true good-breeding will indulge in a practice so at +variance with propriety. If occasion demands your thus remaining +stationary upon the steps or in the portico of a public edifice, make +room, at once, for ladies who may be entering, and avoid any appearance +of curiosity regarding them. A similar course is suitable when occupying +a place upon the steps, or at the windows of a pump-room at a +watering-place, or of a hotel. Carefully avoid all semblance of staring +at ladies passing in the street, alighting from a carriage, etc., and +make no comment, even of a complimentary nature, in a voice that can +possibly reach their ears. So, when walking in the street, if beauty or +grace attract your attention, let your regard be respectful, and, even +then, not too fixed. An audible comment or exclamation, addressed to a +companion, a laugh, a familiar stare, are each and all, when any +stranger, and more especially a _woman_, is the subject of them, +unhandsome in the extreme. + + * * * * * + +Breakfasting one morning, at West Point, with an agreeable Portuguese, +we chatted for some time over the newspapers and our coffee, as we sat +within view of one of the most beautiful landscapes it has ever been my +fortune to behold. At length our _un-American_ indulgence in this +respect, became the theme of conversation between us. + +"Pardon me," said the elegant foreigner, "but though the Americans are +very kind--a very pleasant people, they do not take enough of time for +these things, at all. They do not only eat in a hurry, but they even +_pass their friends_ in the street, sometimes, _without speaking to +them_! I remember last winter, in Philadelphia, where I was some months, +I met one day, in Chestnut street, a gentleman whom I knew very well, +and he passed me without speaking. I made up my mind at once, that this +shall not happen again, so the next time I saw him coming, I looked into +a shop window, or at something, and did not see him. He came to me and +said--"Good morning, Mr. A----! what is the matter with you, that you do +not speak to me?" or something like that. I answered, that he had _cut_ +me in the street (I think that is what you call it!) two or three days +before, and that I never will permit myself to be treated in this +manner. Then he said, that I must excuse him, that he must have been +_in business_ and did not see me, and so on. But this is not the way of +a _gentleman_ in my country!" + +You must imagine for yourselves the double effect, lent to the words of +my companion by his foreign action and imperfect pronunciation, and the +slight curl of his dark moustache as he emphasized the words I have +underscored. + + * * * * * + +"What a harum-scarum fellow that James Condon is!" exclaimed a young +lady, in my hearing. "I had reason to repent declining to drive to the +concert last night, I assure you! The moon, upon which I had counted, +was obscured, and he not only hurried me along (though we had plenty of +time, as I was quite ready when he came), at breathless speed, but +actually dragged me over a heap of rubbish, in crossing the street, upon +which I nearly tumbled down, though I had his arm. When we reached the +place, I was so heated and flurried that I could not half enjoy the +music, and this morning I find not only that my handsome new boots are +completely spoiled, but that I have any quantity of lime upon the bottom +of the dress I wore, and my pretty fan, which he must needs insist upon +carrying for me, sadly broken!" + + * * * * * + +"I have seen everything and everybody I wish, in London, except the Duke +of Wellington," said a sprightly lady whose early morning walk past +Apsley House--the town residence of the Iron Duke--I was attending some +years since, "every distinguished man, except the Hero of Waterloo. I +hope I shall not lose that pleasure!" + +"You may have that pleasure now, madam!" exclaimed a gentleman, passing +us and rapidly walking forward, in whose erect figure and very narrow +brimmed hat, I at once recognized the object of my companion's hitherto +unsatisfied curiosity. + +Strolling in Kensington Park, during that same morning, and at an hour +too unfashionably early for a crowd, with my fair charge, I drew her +gently aside, as she leaned on my arm, from some slight obstruction in +our path, which she did not observe, and which might otherwise have +incommoded her. + +"Really Colonel Lunettes," said she, "your watchful politeness reminds +me of my dear father's. You gentlemen of the old school so much surpass +modern beaux in courtesy! I well remember the last walk I had in +Broadway with papa, before we sailed. Mrs. W---- and I were making a +morning visit, quite up town for us Brooklynites--in Union Place, upon a +bride, when who should also arrive but papa. When we took leave, he +accompanied us, and finding that we had taken a fancy to walk all the +way to the ferry, insisted upon going with us--only think, at his age, +and so luxurious in his habits, too! As he is a little hard of hearing, +and likes always to talk with Mrs. W----, who is a great favorite of +his, I insisted upon his walking between us--that I might have his arm, +and yet not interfere with his conversation. This, of course, brought me +on the outside. But I cannot describe to you the watchful care he had +for me, all the way. At the slightest crowding he held me so firmly--saw +every swerve of the vehicles towards us, and would hold my dress away +from every rough box or so, that lumbered the sidewalk, and every now +and then he would say--'Minnie, wouldn't you be more comfortable on my +other arm? I am afraid you will be hurt there!' At the Brooklyn ferry he +was to leave us, as he could not go over to dine that day. Seeing a +crowd at the door of the office, he hastened a little before us to pay +the fare, and then saw us safely through the press, taking leave of me +as politely as of Mrs. W----. 'What an elegant gentleman your father +is!' cried out Mrs. W----, as soon as he was gone, 'he always reminds me +of the descriptions we read of the chivalrous courtesy of knights of +olden time; it is like listening to a heroic ballad to be with him, and +receive his politeness.' I know you won't laugh at me, Colonel, when I +say that the memory of that simple incident is still as fresh in my +heart, as though no ocean voyage and long travel had come between; and I +can truly say that I was prouder of my _cavalier attendant_ that day, +than I ever was of all the young men together, who ever walked Broadway, +with me." The tremulous tones, the glistening eyes, and the glowing +cheeks of the fair young speaker attested the truth of her filial +boast, and I--but you must draw your own morals! + +Presently we resumed our chat, and the theme of the moment together. + +"I well recollect," said my companion, in the course of our discussion, +"the impression produced upon me, in my girlhood, by the manners of a +young gentleman, who was my groomsman at the wedding of a young friend. +Some of the lessons of good breeding taught me by his example, I shall +never forget, I think. I was the most bashful creature in the world at +that time, and he quite won my heart by the politeness with which he set +me at ease, at once, when he came to take me away in a carriage to join +my young friends. But that was not the point: the next morning after the +wedding, we were all to attend the 'happy pair' as far as Saratoga, on +their wedding-tour; that is, the bridesmaids and bridesmen. At +Schenectady, we were put into an old-fashioned car, divided into +compartments. Just as we were about to start, a singularly tall, gaunt, +Yankeefied-looking elderly woman scrambled into our little box of a +place, and seated herself. We were fairly off, before she seemed fully +to realize the trials of her new position. She did not say, in the +language of the popular song, + + 'I think there must be danger + 'Mong so many sparks!' + +but she looked as though she feared having fallen among the Philistines; +and, I am ashamed to say that some of our merry party made no scruple of +privately amusing themselves with her peculiarities of dress and manner. +Mr. Henry, however (my groomsman), addressed some polite remarks to her, +in so grave and respectful a manner as soon to convince her of his +sincerity, and as carefully watched the sparks that fell upon her thick +worsted gown, as those that annoyed the rest of us. At the first +stopping-place, you may be very sure that the unwilling intruder was in +haste to change her seat. + +"'Do you wish to get out, madam!' inquired Mr. Henry; 'allow me to help +you;' and bounding out, he assisted her down the high step, as carefully +and respectfully as though she were some high dame of rank and fashion. +I am afraid that, though I did not actually join in the merriment of my +thoughtless friends, I deserved the sting of conscience that served to +fasten this little incident so firmly in my remembrance. Perhaps I was, +for this reason, the more impressed by another proof of the ever-ready +politeness of this gentleman, who made such an impression upon my +girlish fancy. We dined at Ballston, on our way to Saratoga, and after +dinner, I asked Mr. Henry, with whom, in spite of my first awe of his +superiority of years and polish, I began to feel quite at ease, to run +down with me to one of the Springs, for a glass of water, before we +should resume our journey. So he good-naturedly left the gentlemen +(_now_ I know that he may have wished to smoke) together at the table, +and accompanied me. But now for my _denoument_. Just as we were in a +narrow place, between a high, steep bank and the track, the cars came +rushing towards us. In an instant, _quicker_ than thought, Mr. Henry had +transferred me from the arm next the cars--because more removed from the +edge of the bank--to the other arm, thus placing his person between me +and any passing danger, and with such a quiet, re-assuring manner! You +smile, Colonel--but, really--well, you see what an impression it made +upon my youthful sensibilities!" + + * * * * * + +"Oh, girls, such a charming adventure as I had this evening!" exclaimed +Margaret, as a bevy of fair young creatures clustered together before +the fire in a drawing-room where I was seated after dinner, with my +newspaper. My attention was arrested by the peculiar animation with +which these words were pronounced, and I glanced at the group, over the +top of my spectacles. They reminded me of so many brilliant-hued +butterflies, in their bright-colored winter dresses, and with their +light, wavy motions as they settled themselves, one on a pile of +cushions, others on a low ottoman, and two pretty fairies on the +hearth-rug, each uttering some exclamation of gratification at the +prospect of amusement. + +"Now, don't expect anything extraordinary or dreadful, you silly +creatures; I have no 'hair-breadth 'scapes by land or sea' to entertain +you with. Can't one have a 'charming adventure,' and yet have nothing +to tell?" + +"But do tell us all there is to tell, dear Miss ----. Do, please, this +very moment," entreated one of the fairies, linking her arms around her +companion, and mingling her golden ringlets with the darker locks of the +head upon which her own lovingly rested. And a little concert of similar +pleadings followed. This prelude over, the tantalizing adventuress +began: + +"Before I went over to New York this morning, I wrote a little note to +Mary Bostwick, telling her all about our arrangements for the +Christmas-tree, and charging her not to fail to come to us on Christmas +eve, and all about it, for fear that, as I had so much to accomplish, I +might not be able to go up to Twenty-third street, and return home in +time to meet you all here. My plan was to keep it until I was decided, +and then, if obliged to send it, to put it in one of the City Express +letter-boxes. Well, by the time I was through with all my important +errands, it was time for me to turn my steps homeward. So, happening +last at Tiffany's, to get the--I mean, I asked at Tiffany's for one of +the places where a box is kept in that neighborhood, and was told that +there was one in a druggist's, quite near--just above. Hurrying along, I +must have passed the place, and stopped somewhere not far below +'Taylor's,' to see exactly where I was. Time was flying, and it was +really almost growing dark; so I ventured to inquire of a gentleman who +was passing, though an entire stranger, for the druggist's. + +"'I think it is below, near the Astor House,' said he, with such an +appearance of interest as to embolden me to mention what I was in search +of. + +"'If that is all,' he replied, 'I dare say there is one nearer. Let me +see,' glancing around, 'I think there is one on the opposite corner--I +will see.' + +"'I have no right to give you that trouble, sir,' said I. + +"'Yes you have--it is what every man owes to your sex.' + +"'You are very good, sir; but I am sure I can make the inquiry for +myself.' + +"'No, it is a tavern, where you cannot properly go alone! Remain here, +and I will ascertain for you.' + +"Before I could repeat my thanks, the gentleman was half across the +street. + +"Hoping to facilitate matters, I followed him to the opposite pavement, +and stood where he would observe me upon coming out of the door I had +seen him enter. I held the note and my porte-monnaie ready in my hand. + +"'There is a box here,' said my kind friend, returning, 'if you will +intrust me with your letter, I will deposit it for you.' + +"'You are very good, sir; I would like to pay it,' I answered, opening +my porte-monnaie. + +"He took the letter quickly, and prevented my intended offer of the +postage so decidedly, that I did not dare insist. But, by this time, I +really could not refrain from the expression of more than an ordinary +acknowledgment: + +"'I have to thank you, sir,' said I, 'not only for a real kindness to a +stranger, but for a _pleasant memory_, which I shall not soon lose. Such +courtesy is too unusual to be soon forgotten! 'How far one little candle +sometimes throws its rays!'--many thanks and good evening, sir!' + +"I had still one more errand in Canal street, but I stayed on the +'unfashionable side' of the street, and went up, to avoid the +awkwardness of re-crossing with the gentleman, and the possibility of +imposing any further tax upon his politeness--bless him! I wasn't half +as weary after I met him, and my heart has been in a glow ever since!" + +"Bravo!" "Bravissimo!" echoed round the room, in various waves of +silvery sound. + +"Is that all, Miss ----?" inquired the only _boy_ of the party, unless +you except the approach to second childhood ensconced behind the +newspaper, and now acting the amiable part of _reporter_, for your +benefit. + +"All, unless I add that I occasionally glanced cautiously over, to catch +the form of my kind friend, as I hurried along, that I might not again +cross his path; but I did not 'calculate' successfully after all; for, +as I ran across Broadway, at Canal street corner, he was a little nearer +than I had expected. I bowed slightly, and hurried on:--but wasn't it +beautiful? Such chivalrous sentiments towards women: '_It is what we all +owe your sex!_' And his manner was more expressive than his words--so +gentle and quiet! No stage effect"---- + +"But you quoted Shakespeare," insinuated a pretty piece of malice on the +ottoman. + +"I couldn't help it, if I did! I was surprised out of the use of +ordinary language by an extraordinary occasion. If you are going to +ridicule me, I shall be sorry I told you; for it is one of the +pleasantest things that has happened to me in a great while! There was +I, in my _incognito-dress_, as I call it, weary and pale, nothing about +me to attract interest, I am sure! I wish such men were more common in +this world, they would elevate the race!" + +"I declare, cousin Maggie, you are growing enthusiastic! I haven't seen +such beaming eyes and such a brilliant color for a long time! Was this +most gallant knight of yours a _young_ gentleman, may I ask?" + +The lady thus questioned seemed to reflect a moment before she replied: + +"If you mean to inquire whether he was a whiskered, moustached +_elegant_, not a bit of it! I should not have addressed such a man in +the street. On the contrary, he was"---- + +"_Married_, I am afraid!" interrupted pretty mischief on the ottoman, +giggling behind her next neighbor. + +"I dare say he may have been," pursued the narrator, quietly. "No very +young man, even if he had wished to be polite to a stranger neither +young nor beautiful, which is very doubtful, would have exhibited the +graceful self-possession and easy politeness of this gentleman:--he was, +probably, going to his home in the upper part of the city after a +business-day. As I remember his dress, though, of course, I had no +thought about it at the time, it was the simple, unnoticeable attire of +an American gentleman when engaged in business occupations--everything +about him, as I recall his presence, was in keeping--unostentatious, +quiet, appropriate! I shall long preserve his portrait in my +picture-gallery of memory, and I am proud to believe that he is my own +countryman!" + +"Cousin Maggie always says," remarked one of her auditors, "that +Americans are the most truly polite men she has met"---- + +"Yes," returned the enthusiast, "though sometimes wanting in mere +surface-polish-- + + 'Where'er I roam, whatever lands I see, + My heart, untravelled, fondly turns to'---- + +my own dear, honored countrymen--more truly chivalrous, more truly just +towards our sex, than the men of any other land! I never yet appealed to +one of them for aid, for courtesy, _as a woman, and as a woman should_, +in vain. And I never, scarcely, am so placed as to have occasion for +kindness--real kindness--without receiving it, unasked. The other day, +for instance, caught in a sudden shower, I stood waiting for a stage, +'down town,' in Broadway. There was such a jam that I was afraid to try +and get into one that stopped quite near the sidewalk. A policeman, at +that moment, asked me whether I wished to get in, and, holding my arm, +stepped over the curb with me. 'I don't know what the ladies would do +without the aid of your corps, sometimes, in these crowds,' said I. + +"'If the ladies will accept our services, we are proud, madam,' answered +he. + +"'I am very glad to do so,' returned I; and well I might, for, at that +instant, as I was on the point of setting my foot on the step of the +omnibus, the horse attached to a cart next behind suddenly started +forward, and left no space between his head and the door of the stage. I +shrunk back, as you may imagine, and said I would walk, in spite of the +rain. But the policeman encouraged me, and called out to the carman to +fall back. At that instant, I observed a gentleman come out upon the +step of the stage. With a single imperious gesture, and the sternest +face, he drove back the horse, and springing into the omnibus, held the +door open with one hand, and extended the other to me. To be sure, the +policeman almost pinched my arm in two, in his effort to keep me safe, +but I was, at last, seated with whole bones and a grateful heart, at the +side of my brave, kind champion. As soon as I recovered breath, I was +curious to see again the face whose expression had arrested my attention +(of course, I did not wait for breath to _thank_ him), and to note the +external characteristics of a man who would impulsively render such +service to a woman--like Charles Lamb--(dear, gentle Charles Lamb!) +holding his umbrella over the head of a washerwoman, because she was a +_woman_! Well, my friend was looking straight before him, apparently +wholly unconscious of the existence of the trembling being he had so +humanely befriended, with the most impenetrable face imaginable, and a +sort of abstracted manner. Presently I desired to open the window behind +me--still not quite recovered from my fright and flutter. Almost before +my hand was on the glass, my courteous neighbor relieved me of my task. +Again I rendered cordial thanks, and again, as soon as delicacy +permitted, glanced furtively at the face beside me. Nothing to reward my +scrutiny was there revealed; the same absorbed, fixed expression, the +same seeming unconsciousness! But can you doubt that a noble, manly +nature was veiled beneath that calm face and quiet manner--a nature that +would gleam out in an instant, should humanity prompt, or wrong excite? +And I could tell you numberless such anecdotes--all illustrative of my +favorite theory." + +"So could we all," said another lady, "I have no doubt, if we only +remembered them." + +"I never forget anything of that kind," returned Margaret. "It is to me +like a strain of fine music, _acted poetry_, if I may use such a phrase. +Such incidents make, for me, the _poetry of real life_, indeed! They +inspire in my heart, + + 'The still, _sweet_ music of humanity.'" + +One magnificent moonlight night, while I was in Rome with your cousins +and the W----s, a party was formed to visit the Coliseum. That whimsical +creature, Grace, whom I had more than once detected in a disposition to +fall behind the rest of the company, as we strolled slowly through the +ruins, at length stole up to me, as I paused a little apart from the +group, and twining her arm within mine, whispered softly: + +"_Do_, dear Uncle Hal, come this way with me for a few moments!" + +Yielding to the impulse she gave me, we were presently disengaged from +our companions, and, leaning, as if by mutual agreement, against a +pillar. + +"What a luxury it is to be quiet!" exclaimed your cousin, with a sigh of +relief. "How that little Miss B---- _does_ chatter! Really it is +profanation to think or speak of common things to-night, and here!" + +"Well, my fair Epicurean," returned I, "since + + ----'Silence, like a poultice comes + To heal the blows of sound,' + +you shall reward me for my indulgence in attending you, by repeating +some of Byron's _apropos_ lines, for me as we stand here"-- + +"At your pleasure, dear uncle." + +Presently she began, in a subdued tone, as if afraid of disturbing the +dreams of another, or as if half listening while she spoke to the tread +of those + + 'Whose distant footsteps echo + Through the corridors of Time;' + +but gradually losing all consciousness, save that of the inspiration of +the bard, our fair enthusiast reached a climax of eloquence with the +words-- + + 'The azure gloom + Of an Italian night, where the deep skies assume + Hues which have words, and speak to ye of Heaven, + Floats o'er this vast and wondrous monument,'-- + +and she stretched out her arm, with an impulsive gesture, as she spoke. +I perceived a sudden recoil, at the instant, of her dilating form, and, +before I could devise an explanation, heard the words, "You are my +prisoner, madam," and discovered a gentleman standing in the deep shadow +of the pillar, close at her side, busily endeavoring to disentangle the +fringe of her shawl from the buttons of his coat. + +I remembered, afterwards, having noticed in passing, sometime before, a +shadowy figure standing with folded arms and upturned face, half lost in +the deep shadow of a pillar, apparently quite unconscious of the +vicinity of the chattering ephemera fluttering by his retreat. I at once +surmised that Grace and I had approached from the other side, and +inadvertently stationed ourselves near this aesthetical devotee--so near +that your cousin, in the excitement of her eloquence, had fastened a +lasso upon the dress of the stranger. + +"You are my prisoner, madam," he said, in French. The words were simple +enough, not so apposite but that many an one might have uttered them +under similar circumstances. Yet they were replete with meaning, +conveyed by the subtle aid of intonation and of _manner_. The most +chivalrous courtesy, the most exquisite refinement, were fully expressed +in that brief sentence. + +"I have no fears either for my purse, or my life," returned the +quick-witted lady thus addressed, aiding in the required +disentanglement. + +"You need have none," rejoined the gentleman, "though the laws of +chivalry entitle me to demand a goodly ransom for so fair a +prize"--glancing politely towards me. + +"Accept, at least, the poor guerdon of this token of my thanks," said +the enthusiast of the moment, tendering a beautiful flower, which was +opportunely loosened from her bosom by the slight derangement of her +dress. + +"It will be a treasured memento," answered the stranger, receiving the +proffered gift with graceful respect, and, bowing with the most courtly +deference, he walked rapidly away, as loth, by lingering one needless +moment, to seem intrusive. + +"What a voice!" exclaimed Grace, as the retreating figure disappeared +behind the fragment of a fallen column, "blithe as the matin tone of a +lark, and"---- + +"Clear as the note of the clarion that startled you so upon the Appian +Way, the other day," I suggested, "and indeed, I am not sure that there +was not a little tremor in your fingers, this time, my brave lady, and +that you did not hold just a little tighter fast the arm of your old +uncle." + +"What nonsense, Uncle Hal!--could anything be more delicately +reassuring--admitting that I was startled, at first,--than the whole +bearing of the gentleman?" + +"Should you know him again?" I questioned. + +"I think I should, were it only by the diamond he wore," she replied, +with a little laugh at the woman's reason. "Did you observe it uncle, as +his macintosh was opened by the pulling of that silly fringe--really it +might grace the crescent of Dian herself, on a gala-night--it was a +young star! but I also saw his face distinctly as he raised his hat." + +Well, now for the _denoument_ of my story--for every romantic adventure +should properly have a _denoument_. + +As we were all riding on the Campagna a few days afterwards, the usual +intimation was given of the approach of the _cortege_ of the Pope. Of +course we went through the mummery of withdrawing, while the poor old +man was hurried along in his airing. Standing thus together, a party of +gentlemen rode rapidly up, and, recognizing some of our party, joined +us. + +Scarcely were the usual greetings over, when Grace, reining her horse +near me, said, in a low tone: "Uncle, there is the 'bright particular +star' of the other night in the Coliseum; I know I am not mistaken." + +And so it proved--the polished, graceful stranger was not a Prince +_incognito_, not even an acreless count, whose best claim to respect +consisted in hereditary titles and courtly manners, but a _young +American artist_, full of activity, enthusiasm and genius, who had not +forgotten to give beauty to the casket, because it enshrined a gem of +high value. + +_Apropos_ of gems--I afterwards learned that the superb brilliant he +always wore on his breast was a token of the gratitude of a +distinguished and munificent patron and friend, for whom this child of +feeling and genius had successfully incarnated all that was earthly of +one loved and lost. + +We subsequently became well acquainted with our gifted countryman, and a +right good fellow he proved. We met him constantly in society, while at +Florence--the Italian _Paradise of Americans_, as Miss ---- always called +it--where his genial manners, the type of a genial nature, made him a +general favorite, as well with natives as foreigners. + +Soon after he was named to me that day on the Campagna, your cousin, who +had again moved from my side, turned her face towards us. The movement +arrested the attention of my companion--he glanced inquiringly at me. + +"I think I am not mistaken, sir; have we not met before?" and the same +exquisite courtesy illumined his face that had so impressed me +previously. "May I ask the honor of a presentation to my sometime +prisoner?" + +"Really, sir," I overheard Grace confessing, in her sprightliest tones, +as, the two parties uniting for the nonce, we all rode on together; +"really, sir, I remember to have been secretly rejoiced at having left +my heart, watch, and other valuables, safely locked up at home, when I +found myself in such a dangerous-looking neighborhood." + +"And _I_ still indulge the regret that my profession did not fully +entitle me to retain possession, not only of the shawl, which, no doubt, +was a camel's hair of unknown value, but of the embodied poetry it +enwrapped." + +"You seem quite to overlook the fact that I was guarded, like a damsel +of old, by a doughty knight." + +I wish I could half describe the dextrous twirl of the moustache, and +the quickly-shadowed brow that suddenly transformed that luminous and +honest face into that of the dark, moody brigand, as, fumbling in his +bosom the while, as about to unsheath a dagger, he growled, in +mock-heroic manner--"It were easy to find means to silence such an +opponent, with such a reward in view!" + +The merry laugh with which Grace received this sally, proved that she, +at least, liked the _versatility of manner_ possessed by her gallant +attendant. + + * * * * * + +Touching the electric chain of memory, causes another link to vibrate, +and I am reminded of my promise, made in a former letter, to tell you +about the American girl whose beautiful arm threw Powers into raptures. + +You will, perhaps, recollect that I alluded to my having met abroad the +heroine of the _cornelian pate_ anecdote. I assure you, I had ample +occasion, more than once, to be proud of my lovely countrywoman, in the +most distinguished European circles--and by that term I do not refer to +distinction created by mere rank. But to my tale: + +One day, during our mutual sojourn in her well-named Italian "Paradise," +Miss ----, and her father, in accordance with a previous arrangement, +called at my lodgings, to take me with them to a dinner at the Palace de +----. + +"I propose, as we have purposely come early, Col. Lunettes, in the hope +of finding you at leisure, that we shall drop in at Powers' studio, a +few minutes; it is in our direct way, and he will be there, as I happen +to know. I so wish to know your impression of papa's bust." + +While I was enjoying a chat with the presiding genius of the scene, a +little apart from a group gathered about some object of peculiar +interest, a sudden glow of enthusiasm lighted his eye, as with +Promethean fire. + +"Heavens, what an arm!" exclaimed Powers. "Oh, for the art to _petrify_ +it!" he added, with an expressive gesture, the _furore_ of the artist +rapidly enkindling. + +Following the direction of his glance, I beheld what might well excite +admiration in a less discriminating spectator. The velvet mantle that +had shrouded the gala dress of Miss ---- having fallen from her +shoulders, disclosed the delicate beauty of the uncovered arm and hand, +which she was eagerly extending towards the marble before her. + +"Remain just as you now stand, for a moment," said I, "and let me see +what I can do for you." + +"Miss ----," I asked, advancing towards my fair friend, "will you let me +invite your attention to this new study? It is entitled 'The Artist's +Prayer,' and is supposed to impersonate the petition, 'Petrify it, O, ye +gods!'" + +Of course, this led to a brief and laughing explanation. + +"Happily, no earthly Powers can achieve that transformation!" exclaimed +the Lucifer of the Coliseum, who was present, "but all will join in the +entreaty that we may be permitted to possess an _imitation_ of so +beautiful an original." + +I am not permitted to disclose the secrets of the inner temple; but many +of you will yet behold the loveliness that so charmed the lovers of art, +moulded into eternal marble. + + + + +LETTER VI. + +MANNER, CONTINUED. + +RULES FOR VISITING, AND FOR MANNER IN SOCIETY GENERALLY. + + +MY DEAR NEPHEWS: + +Having attempted, in my last two letters, with what success you will +best judge, to give you some practical hints respecting manner at home +and in the street, suppose we take up, next, the consideration of the +conduct proper in _Visiting_, and on public occasions, generally. + +Among the minor obligations of social life, perhaps few things are +regarded as more formidable by the unpractised, than ceremonious +_morning visits to ladies_. And perhaps, among the simple occurrences of +ordinary existence, few serve more fully to illustrate individual tact, +self-possession, and conversational skill. + +Without aiming at much method in so doing, I will endeavor to furnish +you with a few directions of general applicability. + +Hours for making morning calls are somewhat varied by place and +circumstance; but, as a rule, twelve o'clock is the earliest hour at +which it is admissible to make a visit of ceremony. From that time until +near the prevailing dinner-hour, in a small town, or that known to be +such in particular instances, one may suit one's convenience. + +It is obviously unsuitable, usually, to prolong an interview of this +kind beyond a very moderate length, and hence, as well as for other +reasons, the conversation should be light, varied, and appropriate to +outward circumstances. + +It is proper to send your card, not only to announce yourself to +strangers to whom you may wish to pay your respects, but to all ladies +with whom you are not upon very intimate terms, and at a private house, +to designate intelligibly to the servant who receives your card, the +individual, or the several persons, whom you wish to see. + +If you go to a hotel, etc., for this purpose, write the name of the lady +or ladies, for whom your visit is designed, upon your card, _above_ your +own name, in a legible manner, and await the return of the messenger, to +whom you intrust it, _where you part from him_. If, upon his return, you +are to remain for your friends, and there be a choice of apartments for +that purpose, unless you choose to station yourself within sight of the +stairs they must of need descend, or the corridor through which they +must pass, let the porter in attendance distinctly understand not only +your name, but where you are to be found, and if possible, give him some +clue to the identification of the friends you wish to see. After a few +vexatious mistakes and misapprehensions, you will admit the wisdom of +these precautionary measures, I have no doubt. When you are shown into +the drawing-room of a private residence, if the mistress of the mansion +is present, at once advance towards her. Should she offer her hand, be +prompt to receive it, and for this purpose, take your hat, stick, and +right-hand glove (unless an occasion of extreme ceremony demands your +wearing the latter), in your left hand, as you enter. If your hostess +does not offer her hand, when she rises to receive you, simply bow, as +you pay your compliments, and take the seat she designates, or that the +servant places for you. When there are other ladies of the same family +present, speak to each, in succession, according to age, or other proper +precedence, before you seat yourself. If there are ladies in the room +whom you do not know, bow slightly to them, also, and if you are +introduced, after you have assumed a seat, rise and bow to them. When +men are introduced, they usually mutually advance and shake hands; but +the intimation that this will be agreeable to her, should always be the +test when you are presented to a lady, or when you address a lady +acquaintance. + +Some tact is necessary in deciding your movements when you find yourself +preceded by other visitors, in making a morning call. If you have no +special reason, as a message to deliver, or an appointment to make, for +lingering, and discover that you are interrupting a circle, or when you +are in the midst of strangers, where the conversation does not at once +become general, upon your making one of them, address a few polite +phrases to your hostess, if you can do so with ease and propriety from +your position with regard to her, and take leave, approaching her nearly +enough, when you rise to go, to make your adieu audible, or to receive +her hand, should she offer it. To strangers, even when you have been +introduced, you, ordinarily, only bow passingly, as you are about to +quit the room. + +Should you have a special object in calling upon a lady, keep it +carefully in view, that you may accomplish it before you leave her +presence. When other visitors, or some similar circumstance, interfere +with the accomplishment of your purpose, you may write what you wish +upon a card in the hall, as you go out, and intrust it to a servant, or +leave a message with him, or in case of there being objections to either +of those methods of communication, resort to an appointment requested +through him, or subsequently write a note to that effect, or containing +an explanation of the object of your visit. When you determine to +outstay others at a morning reception, upon the rising of ladies to +depart, you rise also, under all circumstances; and when they are +acquaintances, and unattended by a gentleman, accompany them to the +street-door, and to their carriage, if they are driving, and then return +to your hostess. Unacquainted, you simply stand until ladies leave the +room, politely returning their parting salutation, if they make one. Any +appearance of a wish on the part of those whom you chance to meet thus, +for an _aside_ conversation, will, of course, suggest the propriety of +occupying yourself until your hostess is at leisure, with some subject +of interest in the room--turn to a picture, open a book, examine some +article of _bijouterie_, and, thus civilly unobtrusive, observe only +when it is proper for you to notice the separation of the company. + +As I have before said, in making a visit of mere politeness, some +passing topic of interest should succeed the courteous inquiries, etc., +that naturally commence the conversation. Visiting a lady practised in +the usages of society, relieves one, very naturally, from any necessity +for _leading_ the conversation. + +When your object is to make an appointment, give an invitation, etc., +repeat the arrangement finally agreed upon, distinctly and deliberately, +upon rising to go away, that both parties may distinctly understand it, +beyond the possibility of mistake. + +In attending ladies who are making morning visits, it is proper to +assist them up the steps, ring the bell, write cards, etc. Entering, +always _follow_ them into the house and into the drawing-room, and wait +until they have finished their salutations, unless you have to perform +the part of presenting them. In that case, you enter with them, or stand +within the door until they have entered, and advance beside them into +the apartment. + +Ladies should always be the first to rise, in terminating a visit, and +when they have made their adieux, their cavaliers repeat the ceremony, +and follow them out. + +When gentlemen call together, the younger, or least in rank, gives +careful precedence to others, rendering them courtesies similar to those +due to ladies. + +Soiled over-shoes, or wet over-garments, should, on no account, be worn +into an apartment devoted to the use of ladies, unless they cannot be +safely left outside--as in the passage of a public house. In such case, +by no means omit an apology for the necessary discourtesy. + +When ladies are not in the apartment where you are to pay your respects +to them, advance to meet them upon their entrance; and in the public +room of a hotel, meet them as near the door as possible, especially if +there is no gentleman with them, or the room be previously occupied, and +conduct them to seats. + +Never remain seated in the company of ladies with whom you are +ceremoniously associated, while they are standing. Follow them to any +object of interest to which they direct your attention; place a seat for +them, if much time will be required for such a purpose; ring the bell, +bring a book; in short, courteously relieve them from whatever may be +supposed to involve effort, fatigue, or discomfort of any kind. It is, +for this reason, eminently suitable to offer the arm to ladies when +ascending stairs. Nothing is more absurd than the habit of _preceding +them_ adopted by some men--as if by following just behind, as one +should, if the arm is disengaged, there can be any violation of +propriety. Soiled frills or unmended hose must have originated this +vulgarity! Tender the arm on the wall side of a lady, mounting a stairs, +that she may have the benefit of the railing, and the fewer steps upon a +landing; and in assisting an invalid, or aged person, it is often well +to keep one step in advance. It is always decorous to suit your pace to +those you would assist. + +It is also a proper courtesy, always to relieve ladies of their parcels, +parasols, shawls, etc., when ever this will conduce to their +convenience, which is especially the case, of course, when they are +occupied with the care of their dresses in ascending steps, entering a +carriage, or passing through a crowd. + +The rules of etiquette properly observable in making ordinary +ceremonious morning-visits, are also applicable to _Morning +Wedding-Receptions_ with slight variations. Of course, you do not then +announce yourself by a card. When previously acquainted with her, you +advance immediately to the bride, and offer your _wishes for her future +happiness_. Never _congratulate_ a lady upon her marriage; such +felicitations are, with good taste, tendered to the bridegroom, not to +the bride. + +Having paid your compliments to the bride, you shake hands with the +groom, and bow to the bride-maids, when you know them. The mother of +the bride should then be sought. Here, again refinement dictates the +avoidance of too eager congratulations. While expressing a cordial hope +that the parents have added to their prospects of future pleasure in +receiving a new member into their family, do not insinuate, by your +manner, the conviction that they have no natural regret at resigning +their daughter + + "To another path and guide, + To a bosom yet untried." + +It is not usual to sit down on such occasions; and it is as obviously +unsuitable to remain long, as it is to engage the attention of those +whom others may be waiting to approach, beyond the utterance of a few +brief, well-chosen sentences. + +When you require an introduction to the bride, but are acquainted with +her husband, you may speak first to him, and so secure a presentation. +Usually a groomsman, or some other gentleman, is in readiness to present +unknown visitors. In that case, should he, too, be a stranger to you, +mention your name to him, and any little circumstance by which he may +afford a passing theme or explanation, when he introduces you--as, that +you are a friend of her father--promised your particular friend, her +sister, to pay your respects, etc. + +On this, as in the instance of all similar occasions, tact and +good-taste must suggest the variations of manner required by the greater +or less degree of ceremony prevailing, and your individual relations to +those you visit. + +In this connection I will add that a card may sometimes be properly made +a substitute for paying one's respects in person--with a pencilled +phrase of politeness, or accompanied by a note. In either case, an +envelope of the most unexceptionable kind should be used, and a note +written with equal attention to ceremony. + +A _Visit of Condolence_ is often most tastefully made by going in person +to the residence of your friend, and leaving a courteous message, and +your card, with a servant. Much politeness is sometimes expressed by the +earliest possible call upon friends just arrived from a journey, etc., +or by leaving or sending a card, with a pencilled expression of +pleasure, and of the intention of availing yourself of the first +suitable moment for paying your compliments in person. + +Visits upon New-Year's Day should be short, as a rule, for the reasons +before suggested, and it is not usual to sit down, except when old +friends urge it, or when the presence of an elderly person, or an +invalid, demands the appearance of peculiar consideration. + +On all occasions of ceremonious intercourse with superiors in age and +station, one or both, manner should be regulated, as respects +familiarity, or even cordiality, _by them_. "He approached me with +_familiarity_, I repulsed him with _ceremony_," said a man of rank, +alluding to an impertinence of this kind. Never be the first, under such +circumstances, to violate the strict rules of convention. Their +observance is often the safeguard of sensibility, as well as of +self-respect. + +Simple good-taste will dictate the most quiet, unnoticeable bearing at +_Church_. The saying of the celebrated Mrs. Chapone, that "it was part +of her religion not to disturb the religion of others," is all +inclusive. To enter early enough to be fully established in one's seat +before the service commences, to attend politely, but very +unostentatiously, to the little courtesies that may render others +comfortable, to avoid all rude staring, and all appearance of +inattention to the proper occupations of the occasion, as well as every +semblance of irreverence, will occur to all well-bred persons as +obviously required by decorum. When necessitated to go late to church, +one should, as on all similar occasions, endeavor to disturb others as +little as possible; but with equal studiousness avoid the vulgar +exhibition of discomposure, of over-diffidence, or of any consciousness, +indeed, of being observed, which so unmistakably savors of low-breeding. +I cannot too frequently remind you that _self-possession_ is one of the +grand distinctive attributes of a gentleman, and that it is often best +illustrated by a simple, quiet, successful manner of meeting the +exigencies and peculiarities of circumstances. + +Never wear your hat into church. Remove it in the vestibule, and on no +account resume it until you return thither, unless health imperatively +demands your doing so just before reaching the door opening into it. + +All nodding, whispering, and exchanging of glances in church, is in bad +taste. Even the latter should not be indulged in, unless a very charming +woman is the provoking cause of the peccadillo, and then very stealthily +and circumspectly! + +Salutations, even with intimate friends, should always be very quietly +exchanged, while one is still within the body of the sacred edifice, and +the "outer court" of the house of God were better not the scene of +boisterous mirth, or rude jostling. Let me add, here, that it is always +proper, when compelled to hurry past those of right before you, at +church, or elsewhere in a crowd, to apologize, briefly, but politely, +for discommoding any one. + +Whenever you are in attendance upon ladies, as at the opera, concerts, +lectures, etc., there is entire propriety in remaining with them in the +seat you have paid for, or secured by early attendance. No gentleman +should be expected to separate himself from a party to give his place to +a lady under such circumstances, and in no country but ours would such a +request or intimation be made. But while it is quite justifiable to +retain the seat taken upon entering such a public place, nothing is more +wholly inadmissible than crowding in and out of your place repeatedly, +talking and laughing aloud, mistimed applauding, and the like. If you +are not present for the simple purpose of witnessing the performance, +whatever it may be, there are, doubtless, those who are; and it is not +only exceedingly vulgar, but _immoral_, to invade their rights in this +regard. Be careful, therefore, to secure your _libretto_, concert-bill, +or programme, as the case may be, before assuming your seat; and when +you have ladies with you, or are one of a party, especially, as then you +cannot so readily accept the penalty of carelessness, by not returning +to your first seat. Should any unforeseen necessity compel you to crowd +past others, and afterwards resume your seat, presume as little as +possible upon their polite forbearance, by great care of dresses, toes, +etc., and each time politely apologize for the inconvenience you +occasion. Let me repeat that no excuse exists for the too-frequent +rudeness of disturbing others by fidgeting, whispering, laughing, or +applauding out of time. And even when standing or moving about between +the exercises, on any public occasion, or the acts at a play-house, or +opera, well-bred people are never disregardful of the rights and comfort +of others. + +In a picture-gallery, at an exhibition of marbles, etc., nothing can be +more indicative of a want of refinement sufficient to appreciate true +art, than the impertinence exhibited in audible comments upon the +subjects before you, and in interfering with the enjoyment of others by +passing before them, moving seats noisily, talking and laughing aloud, +etc. With persons of taste and refinement, there is an almost religious +sacredness in the presence of the creations of genius, to desecrate +which, is as vulgar as it is irreverential of the beautiful and the +good. Always then, carry out the most scrupulous regard of the rights +and feelings of others, when yourself a devotee at the shrine of +AEsthetics, by attention to the minutest forms of courtesy. This will +dictate leaving your place the moment you rise, carrying everything with +you belonging to you, and never stopping to shawl ladies, don an +overcoat, or dispose of an opera-glass, until you can do so without +interrupting the comfort of those you leave behind you. + +When you wish to take refreshments, or to offer them to ladies, at +public entertainments, it is better to repair to the place where they +are served, as a rule, unless it be in the instance of a single glass of +water, or the like; except when a party occupy an opera-box, etc., +exclusively. + +Be careful never to attach yourself to a party of which you were not +originally one, at any time, or place, unless fully assured of its being +agreeable to the gentlemen previously associated with ladies; or if a +gentleman's party only, attracts you, make yourself quite sure that no +peccadillo be involved in your joining it, and in either case, let your +manner indicate your remembrance of the circumstance of your properly +standing in the relation of a _recipient_ of the civilities due to the +occasion. + +Some men practically adopt the opinion that the courteous observances of +social and domestic life are wholly inapplicable to _business +intercourse_. A little consideration will prove this a solecism. Good +breeding is not a thing to be put off and on with varying outward +circumstance. If genuine, inherent, it will always exhibit itself as +certainly as integrity, or any other unalienable quality of an +individual. The manifestations of this characteristic by _manner_, will, +of course, vary with occasion, but it will, nevertheless, be apparent at +all times, and to all observers, when its legitimate influence is +rightly understood and admitted. + +Hence, then, though the observance of elaborate ceremony in the more +practical associations of busy outer life would be absurdly +inappropriate, that careful respect for the rights and feelings of +others, which is the basis of all true politeness, should not, under +these circumstances, be disregarded. + +The secret of the superior popularity of some business men with their +compeers and _employes_, lies often, rather in _manner_ than in any +other characteristic. You may observe, in one instance, a universal +favorite, to whom all his associates extend a welcoming hand, as though +there were magic in the ready smile and genial manner, and who is served +by his inferiors in station with cheerfulness and alacrity, indicating +that a little more than a mere business bond draws them to him; and +again, an upright, but externally-repulsive man, though always +commanding respect from his compeers, holds them aloof by his frigidity, +and receives the service of fear rather than of love from those to whom +he may be always just, and even humane, if never sympathizing and +unbending. + +As I have before remarked, there is no occasion where we are associated +with others, that does not demand the exhibition of a polite manner. +Thus at a _public table_, no man should allow himself to feed like a +mere animal, wholly disregardful of those about him, and, as too +frequently happens, forgetful of the proprieties that are observed when +eating in private. Only at the best conducted hotels are all things so +well and liberally appointed as to render those who meet at public +tables wholly independent of each in little matters of comfort and +convenience, and a well-bred man may be recognized there, as everywhere +else, by his manner to those who may chance to be near him. He will +neither call loudly to a servant, nor monopolize the services that +should be divided with others. His quick eye will discern a lady alone, +or an invalid, and his ready courtesy supply a want, or proffer a +civility, and he will not grudge a little self-denial, or a few minutes' +time, in exchange for the consciousness of being true to himself, even +in trifles. Nor will he _ever_ eat as though running a race of life and +death with Time! Health and decency will alike prompt him to abstain +wholly from attempting to take a meal, rather than assimilate himself to +a ravenous brute, to gratify his appetite. Let no plea of want of time +ever induce you, I entreat, to acquire the American habit of thus eating +in public. Even in the compulsatory haste of travelling, there is no +valid excuse for this unhealthy and disgusting practice. And, with +regard to daily life at one's hotel, or the like, the man who is +habitually regardful of the value and right use of time, may well and +wisely permit himself the simple indulgence and relaxation of _eating +like a gentleman_! + +While on this subject, permit me to remind you of the impropriety of +staring at strangers, listening to conversation in which you have no +part, commenting audibly upon others, laughing and talking boisterously, +etc., etc. Let not even admiration tempt you to put a modest woman out +of countenance, by a too fixed regard, nor let her even suspect that a +nod, a shrug, a significant whisper or glance had her for their object. +Good-breeding requires one to hear as little as possible of the +conversation of strangers, near whom he may chance to be seated. We +quietly ignore their presence (as they should ours), unless some +exigency demands a courtesy; but we do not disturb our neighbors by +vociferousness, even in the height of merriment, however harmless in +itself. + +Should a lady, even though an entire stranger, be entering an +eating-hall alone, or attended by another gentleman, at the same moment +with yourself, give precedence to her, with a slight bow; and so, when +quitting the room, as well as to your acknowledged superiors in age or +position generally, and carefully avoid such self-engrossment as shall +engender inattention to their observances. So, too, when meeting a lady +on a public stairs, or in a passage-way, give place sufficiently to +allow her to pass readily, touching your hat at the same moment. In the +same manner remove a chair, or other obstacle that obstructs the way of +a lady in a hotel parlor, or on a piazza; avoid placing a seat so as to +crowd a lady, encroach upon a party, or compel you to sit before others. + +I admit that these are the _minutiae_ of manners, my dear fellows; but +attention to them will increase your self-respect, and give elevation to +your general character, just in proportion as _self_ is subdued, and the +baser propensities of our nature kept habitually in subserviency to the +nobler qualities illustrated by habitual good-breeding. + +But to return. Though the circumstances must be peculiar that sanction +your addressing a lady with whom you are unacquainted, in a public +parlor, or the like, you are not required by convention to appear so +wholly unconscious of her presence as to retain your seat just in front +of the only fire in the room on a cold day, in the only comfortable +chair, or a place so near the only airy window on a hot one, as to +preclude her approach to it. Nor are you bound to sit in one seat and +keep your legs across another, on the deck of a steamer, in a railroad +car, in a tavern, at a public exhibition, while women _stand_ near you, +compelled by your _not knowing_ them! Let me hope, too, that no kinsman +of mine will ever feel an inclination, when appealed to for information +in some practical emergency, by one of the dependent sex, to repulse her +with laconic coldness, though the appeal should chance when he is +hurrying along the public highway of life, or through the most secluded +of its by-paths. + +Few young men, I must believe, ever remember when in a large hotel, at +night, with their companions, that--opening into the corridors through +which they tramp like a body of mounted cavalry upon a foray, with +appropriate musical accompaniments--may be the apartments of the weary +and the sick; or, that, separated from the room in which they prolong +their nocturnal revels, by only the thinnest of partitions, lies a timid +and lonely woman, shrinking and trembling more and more nervously at +each successive burst of mirth and song, or worse, that effectually robs +her of repose. Yet Sir Walter Raleigh, or Sir Philip Sidney, might, +perchance, have thought even such a trifling peccadillo not +un-note-worthy. + +The same general rules that are applicable to manner in public places, +at hotels, etc., are almost equally so in _travelling_, modified only by +circumstances and good sense. + +A due consideration for the rights and feelings of others, will be a +better guide to true politeness than a whole battery of +conventionalisms. Courtesy to ladies, to age, to the suffering, will +here, as ever, mark the true gentleman, as well as that habitual +refinement which interdicts the offensive use of tobacco, where women +sit or stand, or any other slovenliness or indecorum. + +Under such circumstances, as many others in real life, never let cold +ceremony deter you from rendering a real service to a fellow-being, +though you readily avail yourself of its barriers to repel impertinence +or vulgarity. It is authentically recorded of one of the loyal subjects +of the little crowned lady over the ocean, that, as soon as he was +restored to the privileges of civilization, after having been cast away +upon a desert island with only one other person, he at once challenged +his companion in misfortune for having spoken to him, during their +mutual exile, without an introduction! + +Should you indulge in any skepticism respecting the literal truthfulness +of this historical record, I can personally vouch for the following: Our +eccentric and unhappy countryman, the gifted poet, P----, was once, +while travelling, roused from a moody and absorbing reverie, by the +address of a stranger, who said: "Sir, I am Mr. W----, the author--you +have no doubt heard of me." The dreamy eye of the contemplative +solitaire lighted with a sudden fire, as he deliberately scrutinized the +intruder, then quickly contracting each feature so that his physiognomy +changed at once to a very respectable imitation of a spy-glass, he +coolly inquired: "_Who the devil did you say you are?_" + +Practice and tact combined, can alone give a man ease and grace of +manner amid the varying demands of social life, but systematic attention +to details will soon simplify whatever may seem formidable in regard to +it. No one but a fool or a monomaniac goes on stumbling through his +allotted portion of existence, when he may easily learn to go without +stumbling at all, or only occasionally. + +Thus, after experiencing the embarrassment of keeping ladies, with whom +you have been driving in a hired carriage, standing in the rain, or sun, +or in a jostling crowd, while you are waiting for change to pay your +coach, or submitting to extortion, or searching for your purse, you +will, perhaps, resolve, when you are next so circumstanced, to ascertain +before-hand, if possible, exactly what you should lawfully pay, to have +your money ready before reaching your final destination, and to leave +the ladies seated in quiet while you alight, pay your fare and then +secure shawls, etc., and make every other arrangement and inquiry that +will facilitate their speedy and comfortable transit from the carriage. + +Thus much for _manner in public_. + +Now then, a few words relative to the bearing proper in social +intercourse, and I will release you. + +In the character of _Host_, much is requisite that would be unsuitable +elsewhere, since the youngest and most modest man must, of necessity, +then take the lead. Thus, when you have guests at dinner, some care and +tact are required in the simple matter, even, of disposing of your +visitors with due regard to proper precedents. Of course, when there are +only men present, you desire him whom you wish to distinguish, to +conduct the mistress of the mansion to the table, and are, yourself, the +last to enter the dining-room. When there are ladies, the place of honor +accorded to age, rank, or by some temporary relative circumstance, is +designated as being at your right hand, and you precede your other +guests, in attendance upon such a lady. A stranger lady, for whom an +entertainment is given, should be met by her host before she enters the +drawing-room, and conducted to the hostess. A gentleman, under similar +circumstances, must be received at the door of the reception-room. In +both instances, introductions should at once be given to those who are +_invited to meet such guests_. + +Persons living in large cities may, if they possess requisite pecuniary +means, always procure servants so fully acquainted with the duties +properly belonging to them as to relieve themselves, when they have +visitors, from all attention to the details of the table. But it is only +in the best appointed establishments that hospitality does not enjoin +some regard to these matters. It may be unfashionable to keep an eye to +the comfort of one's friends, when we are favored with their company, to +consult their tastes, to humor their peculiarities, to convince them, +by a thousand nameless acts of consideration and deference, that we have +pleasure in rendering them honor due;--this may not be in strict +accordance with the cold ceremony of modern fashion, but it, nevertheless, +illustrates one of the most beautiful of characteristics--one ranked +by the ancients as a _virtue_--Hospitality! + +Permit me, also, to remind you that sometimes the most worthy people are +not high-bred--not familiar with conventional proprieties; that they +even have a dread of them, on account of this ignorance; and that they +are, therefore, not fit subjects towards whom to display strict +ceremony, or from whom to expect it. But always remember, that, though +they may not understand conventionalisms, they will fully appreciate +genuine _kindness_, the talismanic charm that will always place the +humblest and most self distrustful guest at ease. And never let a +vulgar, degrading fear of compromising your claims to gentility, tempt +you to the inhumanity of wounding the feelings of the humblest of your +humble friends! + +If you have a large rout at your house, it will, necessarily, be +impossible for you to render special attention to each guest; but you +should, notwithstanding, quietly endeavor to promote the enjoyment of +the company, by bringing such persons together as are best suited to the +appreciation of each other's society, by drawing out the diffident, +tendering some civility to an elderly, or particularly unassuming +visitor, and, in short, by a manner that, without in any degree savoring +of over-solicitude, or bustling self-importance, shall save you from a +fate similar to that of a gentleman of whom I lately read the following +anecdote: + +A stranger at a large party, observing a gentleman leaning upon the +corner of a mantel-piece, with a peculiarly melancholy expression of +countenance, accosted him thus:--"Sir, as we both seem to be entire +strangers to all here, suppose we both return home?" He addressed his +_host_! + +In general society, do not let your pleasure in the conversation of one +person whom you may chance to meet, or your being attached to a pleasant +party, tempt you to forget the respect due to other friends, who may be +present. Married ladies, whose hospitalities you have shared, strangers +who possess a claim upon you, through your relations with mutual +friends, gentlemen whose politeness has been socially extended to you, +should never be rudely overlooked, or discourteously neglected. Such a +manner would indicate rather a vulgar eagerness for selfish enjoyment +than the collected self-possession, the well-sustained good-breeding, of +a _man of the world_. Do not let a sudden attack of the modesty suitable +to youth and insignificance, induce you to regard those proprieties as +of no importance in your particular case--exclaiming, "What's Hecuba to +me, or I to Hecuba?" Believe me, no one is so unimportant as to be +unable to give pleasure by politeness; and no one having a place in +society, has a right to self-abnegation in this respect. + + * * * * * + +"Husband, do you know a young Mr. V----, in society here--a lawyer, I +think?" inquired a lady-friend of mine, of a distinguished member of the +Legislature of our State, with whom I was dining, at his hotel. + +"V----? That I do! and a right clever fellow he is:--why, my dear?" + +"Oh, nothing, I met him somewhere the other morning, and was struck with +his pleasing manners. This morning I was really indebted to his +politeness. You know how slippery it was--well, I had been at Mrs. +S----'s reception, and was just hesitating on the top of the steps, on +coming away, afraid to call the man from his horses, and fearful of +venturing down alone, when Mr. V---- ran up, like a chamois-hunter, and +offered his assistance. He not only escorted me to the sleigh, but +tucked up the furs, gave me my muff, and inquired for your health with +such good-humor and cordiality as really quite won my heart!" + +"I should be exceedingly jealous, were it not that he made exactly the +same impression upon me, a few evenings before you joined me here. It +was at Miss T----'s wedding. Of course, I had a card of invitation to +the reception, after the ceremony, but, disliking crowds as I do, and as +you were not here, I decided not to go.--The truth is, Colonel, [turning +to me] we backwoodsmen are a little shy of these grand state occasions +of ceremony and parade."-- + +"Backwoodsmen, as you are pleased to term them, sometimes confer far +more honor upon such occasions than they upon him," returned I. + +"You are very polite, sir. Well, as I was saying, in the morning I met +the bride's father, who was one of my early college friends, in the +street, and he urged me, with such old-fashioned, hearty cordiality to +come, that I began to think the homely charm of _hospitality_ might not +be wholly lacking, even at a fashionable entertainment, in this most +fashionable city. So the upshot of the matter was my going, though with +some misgivings about my _court-costume_, as my guardian-angel had +deserted me." Really, boys, I wish you could have seen the chivalrous +courtesy that lighted the fine eye and shone over the manner of the +speaker, as, with these last words, he bowed to the fair companion of +his life for something like half a century. + +"You forget, my dear," rejoined the lady, as a soft smile, and a softer +blush stole over her still beautiful face, "that Mrs. M---- wrote me you +were quite the lion of the occasion, and that half the young ladies +present, including the bride herself, were"-- + +"My dear! I cry you mercy!--Bless my soul!--an old fellow like me!"---- + +"But K----, my dear friend," I exclaimed, "don't be personal"---- + +"Lunettes, you were always, and still are, irresistible with the ladies, +but--you are _an exception_." + +"I protest!" cried Mrs. K----, joining in our laughter, "Mr. Clay, to +his latest day, was in high favor with ladies, young and old--there was +no withstanding the _charm of his manner_. At Washington, one winter +that I spent there, wherever I met him, he was encircled by the fairest +and most distinguished of our sex, all seeming to vie with each other +for his attentions--and this was not because of his political rank, for +others in high position did not share his popularity;--it was his grace, +his courtesy, his _je ne sais quoi_, as the French say." + +"Mr. Clay was as remarkable for quiet self-possession and tact, in +social as in public life," said I. "When I had the honor to be his +colleague, I often had occasion to observe and admire both. I remember +once being a good deal amused by a little scene between him and a Miss +----, then a reigning belle at Washington, and a great favorite of Mr. +Clay's. Returning late one night from the Capitol, excessively fatigued +by a long and exciting debate, in which he had borne an active part, he +dropped into the ladies' parlor of our hotel, on his way up stairs, +hoping, I dare say, Mrs. K., to enjoy the soothing influence of gentler +smiles and tones than those he had left. The room was almost deserted, +but, ensconced in one corner of a long, old-fashioned sofa, sat Miss +----, reading. His keen eye detected his fair friend in a moment, and +his lagging step quickened as he approached her. A younger and handsomer +man might well have envied the warm welcome he received. After sitting a +moment beside the lady, Mr. Clay said, abruptly:-- + +"'Miss ----, what is your definition of true politeness?' + +"'Perfect ease,' she replied. + +"'I have the honor to agree with you, madam, and, with your entire +permission, will take leave to assume the correctness of _this +position_!' As he spoke, with a dextrous movement, the statesman +disposed a large cushion near Miss ----'s end of the sofa, and +simultaneously, down went his head upon the cushion, and up went his +heels at the other extreme of the sofa! But, my dear fellow, we are +losing your adventures at the great wedding party, all this time"---- + +"Very true, my dear," added Mrs. K----, wiping her eyes, "you fell in +love with Mr. V----, you know"-- + +"Oh, yes," returned my host, "I did, indeed; but I had no adventures, in +particular. V---- was one of the _aids-de-camp_, on the occasion, as I +knew by the white love-knot (what is the fashionable name, wife?) he +wore on his breast. He was in the hall when I came down stairs, to act +in his office of groomsman. Upon seeing me, he advanced, and asked +whether he could be of any service to me. I explained, while I drew on +my gloves, that I did not know the bride, and feared that even her +mother might have forgotten an early friend. His young eyes found the +button of my glove quicker than mine, and as he released my hand, he +said, showing a sad rent in his own, "you are fortunate in not having +split them, sir,--but you _gentlemen of the old school_," he added with +a respectful bow, "always surpass us youngsters in matters of dress, as +well as everything else." As he said this, the young rogue glanced +politely over my plain black suit, and offered me his arm as +deferentially as though I had been an Ex-President, at least; and so on, +throughout the evening, with apparent _unconsciousness of self_. I +should have thought him wholly devoted to my enjoyment of everything and +everybody, had I not observed that others, equally, or more, in need of +his attention than I, shared his courtesy--from an elderly lady in a +huge church-tower of a cap, who seemed fearfully exercised less she +should not secure her full share of the wedding-cake boxes, to one of +the little sisters of the bride, who clung to her dress and sobbed as if +her heart must break--all seemed to like him and _depend_ on him." + +"I have not the pleasure of Mr. V----'s acquaintance," said I, "but I +prophesy that _he will succeed in life_!" + +"Yes, and make friends at every step!" responded Mrs. K----, warmly. +"After we parted this morning, I had an agreeable sort of +half-consciousness that something pleasant had happened to me, and when +I analised the feeling, Wordsworth's lines seemed to have been +impersonated to me:-- + + 'A face with gladness overspread! + Soft smiles, by human kindness bred! + And seemliness complete, that sways + Thy courtesies, about thee plays!'" + + * * * * * + +I have known few persons with as exquisite aesthetical perceptions as my +lovely friend Minnie. So I promised myself great pleasure in taking her +to see Cole's celebrated series of pictures--THE COURSE OF TIME. It was +soon after Cole's lamented death; and, as Minnie had been some time +living where she was deprived of such enjoyments, she had never seen +these fine pictures. + +As we drove along towards the Art Union Gallery, the fair enthusiast was +all eager expectation. "How often my kind friend Mr. S---- B. R----, +used to talk to me of Cole," said she, "and promise me the pleasure of +knowing him. When he died I felt as though I had lost a dear friend, as +I had indeed, for all who worship art, have a friend in each child of +genius." + +"Cole was emphatically one of these," returned I, "as his conceptions +alone prove." + +"Yes, indeed," replied Minnie, "I always think of him as the +_poet-painter_, since I saw his first series--the 'Progress of Empire.' +Only a poet's imagination could conceive his subjects." + +I placed my sweet friend in the most favorable position for enjoying +each picture in succession, and seated myself at her side, rather for +the gratification of listening to the low murmurs of delight that should +be breathed by her kindred soul, than to view the painter's skill, as +that no longer possessed the attraction of novelty for me. + +We had just come to the sublime portraiture of "_Manhood_," and Minnie +seemed wholly absorbed in her own thoughts and imaginings. Suddenly a +silly giggle broke the charmed stillness. The Devotee of the Beautiful +started, as if abruptly awakened from a dream, and a slight shiver ran +through her sensitive frame. + +Turning, I perceived, standing close behind us, a group of young +persons, chattering and laughing, and pointing to different parts of the +picture before us. Their platitudes were not, perhaps, especially +stupid, nor were they more noisy and rude than I have known _free-born +republicans_ before, under somewhat similar circumstances; but poor +Minnie endured absolute torture; her idealized delight vanished before a +coarse reality. I well remember the imploring and distressed look with +which she whispered: "Let us go, dear Colonel;" and one glance at her +pale face satisfied me that the spell was irrevocably broken for her, +and that her long anticipated "joy," in beholding "a thing of beauty" +had indeed been cruelly alloyed. + +If my memory serves me aright, I told you something, in a former letter, +of an interesting lady, a friend of mine, whose husband was shot all to +pieces in the Mexican War, and after lying for many months in an almost +hopeless condition, finally so far recovered as to be removed to the +sea-board, to take ship for New Orleans. When informed of this, his +beautiful young wife--a belle, a beauty, and the petted idol of a large +family circle before her marriage--set out, at mid-winter, accompanied +by one of her brothers and taking with her the infant-child, whom its +soldier-father had never seen, to meet her husband on his homeward +route. This explanation will render intelligible the following incident, +which she herself related to me. + +"My brother remained with us some time at New Orleans," said the fair +narrator; "but, as Ernest began to improve, I entreated him to return +home, as both his business and his family demanded his attention; and +you know, Colonel Lunettes," she added, with a sad smile, "that a +_soldier's wife_ must learn to be brave, for her own sake as well as for +his. Ernest had with him an excellent, faithful servant, who was fully +competent to such service as I could not render, and my little boy's +nurse was with me, of course. So we made our homeward journey by slow +stages, but with less suffering to my husband than we could have hoped, +and I grew strong as soon as we were re-united, and felt adequate to +anything, almost." + +The fair young creature added the last word with the same mournful smile +that had before flitted over her sweet face, and as if rather in reply +to the doubtful expression she read in my countenance, than from any +remembrance of having failed, in the slightest degree, in the task of +which she spoke. + +"On the night of our arrival at A----, however," pursued Mrs. V----, "we +seemed to reach such a climax of fatigue and trial, as to make further +endurance literally impossible for poor Ernest. Our little child had +been taken ill the day before, so that I could not devote myself so +entirely to him as I could have wished; and, as we drew near home, his +impatience seemed to increase the pain of his wounds, so that, on this +evening, he was almost exhausted both in body and mind. We stopped at +the D---- House, as being nearest the depot, which was a great point +with us; but such a comfortless, shiftless place!"---- + +"An abominable hole!" I ejaculated; "one never gets anything fit to eat +there!" + +"That was the least of our difficulties," returned the lady, "as we had +to leave our man-servant to look after our luggage, it was with great +difficulty that my poor husband was assisted up stairs into the public +parlor, and he almost fainted while I gave a few hurried directions +about a room. Such a scene as it was! The poor baby, weary and sleepy, +began to cry for mamma, and nurse had as much as she could do with the +care of him. Ernest had sunk down upon the only sofa in the room--a +huge, heavy machine of a thing, that looked as though never designed to +be moved from its place against the wall. I gave my husband a +restorative, but in vain. He grew so ghastly pale that"----a sob here +choked the utterance of the speaker. + +"My dear child," said I, taking her hand, "do not say another word; I +cannot forgive myself for asking you these particulars--all is well +now--do not recall the past!" + +"Excuse me, dear Colonel, I _wish_ to tell you, I want you to know, how +we were treated by a brute in human form--to ask you whether you could +have believed in the existence of such a being--so utterly destitute of +common politeness, not to say humanity." + +"I hope no one who could aid you, in this extremity, failed to do so." + +"You shall hear. Ernest was shivering with cold, as well as exhaustion, +and whispered to me that he would try to sit by the fire until the room +was prepared. I looked round the place for an easy-chair; there was but +one, and that was occupied by a man who was staring at us, as though we +were curiosities exhibited for his especial benefit." + +"'Ernest,' said I aloud, 'you are too weak to sit in one of these chairs +without arms, and with nothing to support your head.' + +"'I will try, love,' he replied, 'for I am so cold!' + +"'I will ask that man for his chair,' I whispered. Poor Ernest! his +eyes flashed. 'No! No!' said he, 'if he has not the decency to offer it, +you shall not speak to him!' + +"Of course, I would not irritate him by opposition, but placed an +ordinary chair before the fire, and, supporting him into it, held his +head on my shoulder, while I chafed his benumbed hands. In the +meanwhile, the wail of the baby did not help to quiet us, nor to shorten +the time of waiting; and it seemed as if John would never make his +appearance, nor the room I had ordered be prepared. By my direction, +nurse rang the bell. I inquired of the very placid individual who +answered it, whether the room was ready for us, and upon being told that +they were making the fire, entreated the emblem of serenity to hasten +operations, and at once to bring me a cup of hot tea. Minutes seemed +hours to me, as you may suppose, and the dull eyes that were fastened +upon us from the centre of the stuffed chair, I so longed for, really +made me nervous. I felt as though it might be some horrid ghoul, rather +than anything human, thus looking upon our misery. 'Good G----, Lu!' +said Ernest, at last, 'isn't the bed ready yet?' + +"I could bear it no longer. Gently withdrawing my support from the +weary, weary head, I flew to my boy, snatched him from nurse, and +signifying my design to her, we united our powers, and, laying baby on +the sofa, we succeeded in pushing it up to the side of the fire-place. +Then, while I hushed the child on my breast, we piled up our wrappings +and placed my husband upon the couch, so as to rest his poor wounded +frame (you know, Colonel, his spine was injured). The groan, half of +relief and half of torture, that broke from his lips, as he rested his +head, was like to be the 'last straw' that broke my heart--but the +soldier's wife! How often did I repeat to myself, during that long +journey: + + 'Remember thou'rt a _soldier's wife_, + Those tears but ill become thee!' + +"Well! by this time, John made his appearance, and, consigning his +master temporarily to his care, I took nurse with me, and went to see +what a woman's ready hand could do in expediting matters elsewhere. When +showed to the room we were expected to occupy, I found it so filled with +smoke, and so dreadfully cold, as to be wholly uninhabitable, and in +despair sent for the steward, or whoever he was, to whom I had given +directions at first. No other room with two beds could be secured. By +the glimmering light of the small lamp in the hand of the Irishman, who +was laboring with the attempt at a fire, I investigated a little; the +smouldering coals belched forth volumes of smoke into my face. Nothing +daunted by this ('twas not the 'smoke of battle,' though I felt as +though in the midst of a conflict of life and death), I bade the man +remove the blower. Behold the draught closed by the strip of stone +sometimes used for that purpose, after a hard coal fire is fully +ignited! I think, Colonel, you would have admired the laconic, +imperiously cool tone and manner with which I speedily effected the +removal of the entire mass of cold hard coal, substituted for it, light, +dry wood, and covering up my boy, as he still rested in my arms, +dissipated the smoke that contended with the close, shut-up sort of air +in the room, for disagreeability, by opening the windows, had the most +comfortable looking of the beds drawn near the fire, and opened to air +and warm, ordered up the trunks we wanted, opened them, hung a warm +flannel dressing-gown near the fire, placed his slippers and everything +else Ernest would want just _where_ they would be wanted, near the best +chair I could secure, and the table that was to receive his supper when +he should be ready for it, and, in short _put the matter through_, as +Ernest would say, with the speed of desperation. It was wonderful how +quickly all this, and more, was effected by the people about me chiefly +through my ability to tell them exactly what to do and how to do it. +Excuse me if I boast; it was the deep calmness of despair that inspired +me! _Now_ I can smile at the look of blank amazement with which Paddy +received my announcement of the necessity of taking out all the coals +from the grate, before he could hope to kindle a fire, and the stare of +the _man of affairs_ for the D---- House, as he entered upon the field +of my efforts to say that tea was ready." + +"There is but one step from the sublime to the ridiculous!" I exclaimed, +laughing, in spite of my sympathy with my fair friend. "And what became +of the barbarian in the large chair?" + +"Oh, when I returned to the parlor to have Ernest removed to our own +room, there he sat, still, lolling comfortably back in his chair, with +his hat on, and his feet laid up before him, and apparently as much +occupied as ever in staring at the strangers, and no more + + 'On hospitable thoughts intent' + +than when I quitted the room, the horrid ghoul! I was so rejoiced to +escape with my treasures safe from his blighting gaze! But now for the +_moral_ of my story, dear Colonel, for every story has its moral, I +suppose,--John, Ernest's man, told nurse, who, by the way, was so highly +indignant on the occasion, as to assure me afterwards, that if she had +been a man, she'd have just pitched the selfish brute beast out of the +chair, and taken it for Mr. V----, without so much as a 'by your +leave.'"---- + +I could not refrain from interrupting Mrs. ---- to say that I thought I +should have been sorely tempted to some such act myself, under the +circumstances. + +"Yes," pursued Mrs. V----, "nurse still recurs to that 'awful cold night +in A----' with an invariable malediction upon the '_bad speret_ as kept +the chair.' But, as I was saying, John told her afterwards that the +ghoul asked him who that sick gentleman was, and said that his wife +appeared to be in so much trouble that he should have offered to help +her along a little, but he _wasn't acquainted with her_!" + +"Uncle Hal, isn't an artist _a gentleman_?" inquired Blanche of me one +morning, during a recent visit to our great Commercial Metropolis, as +the newspaper writers call it. "What do you mean, child," said I, "you +cannot mean to ask whether artists _rank as gentlemen_ in society, for +that does not admit of question." I saw there was something troubling +her, the moment she came down, for she did not welcome her old uncle +with her usual sparkling smile, though she snugged close up to me on the +sofa, and kept my hand in both of hers, while we were arranging some +matters about which I had called. + +"Is not an _engraver_ an artist?" she inquired, with increased +earnestness of tone. "Does not an engraver who has a large _atelier_, +numbers of _employes_, and does all kinds of beautiful prints, heads, +and landscapes, and elegant figures, take rank in social life with other +gentlemen?" + +"Certainly, my dear; but tell me what you are thinking of; what troubles +you my child?" + +"Well, you remember, dear uncle, perhaps, the young orphan boy in whom +papa and all of us used to be so interested the summer you spent with +us, long ago, when we were all children at home. He is now established +in this city, after years of struggle with difficulties that would have +crushed a less noble spirit, and his sisters, for whom he has always +provided, in a great degree, though at the cost of almost incredible +self-denial, as I happen to know, are now nearly prepared for teachers. +We have always retained our interest in them all; and they always make +us a visit when they are at D----. Indeed, papa always says he knows few +young men for whom he entertains so high a regard; and I am sure he is +very good-looking, and though he may not be very fashionable,--you +needn't smile, uncle Hal, I"---- + +"My dear, I am charmed with your sketch, and shall go, at once, and have +my old visage engraved by your handsome artist-friend; and when I +publish my auto-biography, it shall be accompanied by a 'portrait of the +author,' superbly engraved by a 'celebrated artist.'" + +"He _is_ celebrated, uncle, really; you have no idea of the vast number +of orders he has from all parts of the country, nor how beautifully he +gets up everything. But I must tell you," proceeded the sensitive little +thing, with more cheerfulness, for I had succeeded in my design of +cheering her up a little--"Mr. Zousky--Henry, as we always call him, has +been engraving the head of one of our friends at home for a literary +affair--some biographical book, or something of that sort, and he came +up to show me one of the 'first impressions,' as I think he calls them, +and to bring a message from his sister, last evening--wishing me to +'_criticise_,' he told me, as he had nothing but rather an indifferent +daguerreotype to copy from. It was just before tea that he +called--because he is busy all day, I suppose, and perhaps, he thought +he should be sure of finding me, then. Indeed, he said something about +fearing to intrude later, when there might be other visitors--he is the +most sensitive and unobtrusive being! Well, just as we were having a +nice little chat about old times at D----, cousin Charles came home and +came into the parlor. Of course, he knows Henry very well, for he has +seen him often and often at our house, when he used to be there in +vacations with my brothers; and, indeed, once before Henry came here to +live, was one of a party of us, who went to his little studio, to see +his self-taught paintings and sketches. When he entered the room, I +said, 'cousin Charles, our friend Mr. Zousky does not need an +introduction to you, I am sure.' I cannot describe his manner. I did not +so much mind its being cold and indifferent, but it was not that of _an +equal_--of one gentleman to another, and without sitting down, even for +a moment, he walked back to the dining-room, and I heard him ask the +servant whether tea was ready. Henry rose in a moment, and took my hand +to say good-bye--oh, uncle, I cannot tell you how hurt I was! His voice +was as low and gentle as ever, but his face betrayed him! I know he +noticed cousin Charles' manner. I was determined that he should not go +away so; so I didn't get up, but drew him to a seat by me on the sofa, +and said that he must not go yet, unless he had an engagement, for that +I had not half done telling him what I wished, and rattled on, hardly +knowing what I _did_ say, for I was so grieved and mortified. He said he +would come again, as it was my tea-time, but I insisted that my tea was +of no consequence, and that I much preferred talking to a friend--all +the while hoping that either cousin Maria or cousin Charles would come +and invite him to take tea. Presently I heard cousin Maria come down, +and then the glass doors were closed between the rooms, and I knew they +were at tea. Why, uncle Hal, papa would no more have done such a thing +in _his_ house, than he would have robbed some one! What! wound the +feelings of any one for fear of not being '_genteel!_' that's the word, +I suppose--I hear cousin Maria use it very often! We were always taught +by dear mamma, while she lived, to be particularly polite and attentive +to those who might not be as happy or prosperous as ourselves. She used +to say that fashionable and distinguished people were the least likely +to observe those things, but that the sensitive and self-distrustful +were apt to be almost morbidly alive to every indication of neglect. +'Never brush rudely by the human sensitive plant, my dears,' she used to +say, 'lest you should bruise the tender leaves; and never forget that it +most needs the _sunshine of smiles_!' Dear mamma! she used to be so +polite to Henry--not _patronizing_, but so friendly, so +considerate--always she put him at ease when there was other company at +our house (though he never came in when he knew there were other +visitors), and she used to do so many kind things to assist his first +efforts in his art! I only hope he understood that _I_ have no rights +here. I am sure I _feel_ that I have not! But I would rather be treated +a hundred times over again as I was last night, myself, than to have +Henry's feelings wounded; still, I must say that I should not think, +because she happened to be detained past the exact tea-hour, of sending +away the tea-things and keeping cold slops in a pitcher for any guest in +_my_ house, if I had one"---- + +"Hush, Blanche! I never heard you talk so indiscreetly before!" + +"Well, I don't care! Papa _made_ me come here to stay, because he said +they had visited us, and came out to Bel's wedding, and all; but I do so +wish I was at the St. Nicholas with you and the Clarks, uncle, dear! +Cousin Charles ain't like himself since he married his fashionable New +York wife; even when he comes to pa's he isn't, though _there_ he throws +off his cold, ceremonious manner somewhat. But I really feel as if I was +in a straight-jacket here!" + +"Why, Blanche, what's the trouble? I am sure everything is very elegant +and fashionable here!" + +"Yes, too elegant and fashionable for poor little me! I am not used to +that, and don't care for it. I'd rather have a little more friendliness +and sociability than all the splendor. I am constantly reminded of my +utter insignificance; and you know, uncle, poor Blanche is spoiled, as +you often say, and not used to being reduced to a mere nonentity!" + +With this the silly child actually began to cry, and when I tried to +soothe her, only sobbed out, in broken words: "I wouldn't be such a +goose as to mind it, if Henry Zousky had not been treated so so, +so--_so--fash-ion-a-bly_!" + +Looking over some letters from a sprightly correspondent of mine, the +other day, I laid aside one from which I make the following extract, as +apposite to my subject: + +"You asked me to give you some account of the social position, etc., and +an idea of the husband of your former favorite, M---- S----. 'What is +Dr. J---- like?' you inquire:--Like nothing in heaven above, or in the +earth beneath, I answer; and, therefore, he might be worshipped without +a violation of the injunction of the Decalogue! How such a vivacious +creature as M---- S---- came to tie herself for life to such a mule, +passes my powers of solution. Dr. J---- is very accomplished in his +profession, for a young man, I hear, and much respected for his +professional capacity--but socially he is--_nothing!_--the merest cipher +conceivable! A man may be _very quiet_ at home, now-a-days, and yet pass +muster; but there are times when he _must act_, as it seems to me; but +M----'s husband seems to be a _man of one idea_, and that never, +seemingly, suggests the duties of host. But you shall judge for +yourself.--While I was in A----, we were all invited there one evening, +to meet a bride, an old friend of M----'s, stopping in town on her +marriage tour. M---- said it was too early in the season for a large +party, and that we were expected quite _en famille_; but it was, in +reality, quite an occasion, nevertheless, as the bride and her party +were fashionable Bostonians. I happened to be near the hostess, when +_the_ guests of the evening entered. She received them with her usual +_Frenchy_ ease and playfulness of manner, and it seemed that the +gentleman was an old friend of hers, but did not know her husband. He +expressed the hope that Dr. J----'s professional duties would not +deprive them of his society the whole evening, as he much desired the +pleasure of his acquaintance. I saw, by the heightening of her color, +that M----, woman of the world though she be, felt the unintended +sarcasm of this polite language; for Dr. J. was calmly ensconced in the +deep recess of a large _fauteuil_ in the corner of the fire-place, +apparently enjoying the glowing coal-fire that always adds its cheerful +influence to the elegant belongings of M----'s splendid drawing-room. +Throughout the entire evening our effigy of a host kept his post, where +we found him on entering. People went to him, chatted a while, and moved +away; we danced, refreshments were served, wine was quaffed, + + 'All went merry as a marriage bell;' + +M---- glided about from group to group, with an appropriate word, or +courteous attention for each one, and, in addition to the flowers that +adorned the rooms, presented the bride of her old friend with an +exquisite bouquet, saying, in her pretty way, that she would have been +delighted to receive her in a bower of roses, when she learned from Mr. +---- how much she liked flowers, but that Flora was in a pet with her +since she had given up her old conservatory at her father's. As the +evening waned, I observed her weariness, despite the hospitable smile; +and well she might be! Several times she slipped away to her babe; once, +when I stood near her, she started slightly: 'I thought I heard a +_nursery-cry_,' she whispered to me, 'my little boy is not well +to-night;' and I missed her soon after. When I went away, I, of course, +sought the master of the house to say good-night. He half rose, with a +half smile, in recognition of my adieu, and re-settled himself, +apparently wholly unconscious of any possible occasion for further +effort! But the climax, in true epic style, was reserved for the +_finale_. It was a frightfully stormy night, and when we came down to +the street door to go away, there stood M----, in her thin dress, the +cold wind and sleet-rain rushing in when the door was opened, enough to +carry away her fairy figure, _seeing off her friend and his bride_!" + + * * * * * + +"My dear Miss C----," exclaimed a gentleman after listening to the +complaint of a lady who had just been charging the lords of creation +with the habitual discourtesy of retaining their hats when speaking to +ladies, in stores and shops, as well as in public halls and even in the +drawing-room; "My dear Miss C----, don't you know that 'Young America' +_always wears his hat and boots whenever he can_?" + +"Does he _sleep in them_?" inquired the lady. + +"Well, my dears," I overheard a high-bred and exceedingly handsome man +inquiring of two lovely English girls, on board a steamer the other day, +"how did you succeed in your efforts to dine to-day? I will not again +permit you to be separated from your aunt and me, if we find the table +ever so crowded." + +"But we had Charley, you know, sir," returned one of the fair +interlocutors, with a smile worthy of Hebe herself. + +"True, but Charley is only a child; and boys as well as women fare ill +at public tables in this 'land of liberty and equality,' unless aided by +some powerful assistant!" + +"I thought we had found such a champion to-day," exclaimed the other +lady, "in the person who sat next me at dinner. His hands were so nice +that I should not have objected in the least to his offering me such +dishes as were within his reach, especially as there seemed to be no +servant to attend us, and we really sat half through the first course +without bread or water. Having nothing else to do, for some time, I +quietly amused myself with observing my courteous neighbor. So wholly +absorbed did he seem in his own contemplations, so utterly oblivious of +everything around him, except the contents of his heaped-up plate, that +I soon became convinced that I had the honor to be in close proximity to +a philosopher, at least, and probably to some fixed star in the realms +of science!" + +"Oh, Clare! I am so sorry to tell you, but I learned afterwards, +accidentally, that your profound-looking neighbor is--_a dentist_!" + +"And, therefore, accustomed only to the _most painful associations with +the mouths of others_!" chimed in the aristocrat, laughing in chorus: +"Well, as our shrewd, sensible friend, the daughter of the Siddons, used +to say, after her return from America, 'if the Americans profess to be +all _equal_, they should be _equally well bred_!'" + +With a repetition of this doubly sarcastic apothegm, my dear friends, +for the present, + + Adieu! + HARRY LUNETTES. + + + + +LETTER VII. + +HEALTH, THE TOILET, ETC. + + +MY DEAR NEPHEWS: + +Since no man can fulfill his destiny as an actively-useful member of +society without _Health_, perhaps a few practical suggestions on this +important subject may not be inconsistent with our present purpose. + +The only reliable foundation upon which to base the hope of securing +permanent possession of this greatest of earthly blessings, is the early +acquisition of _Habits of Temperance_. + +In a proper sense of the word, Temperance is an all-inclusive term--it +does not mean abstaining from strong drink, only, nor from over-eating, +nor from any one form of self-indulgence or dissipation; but it requires +_moderation in all things_, for its full illustration. + +It was this apprehension of the term that was truthfully exhibited in +the long, useful, consistent life of our distinguished countryman, John +Quincy Adams. Habits formed in boyhood, in strict accordance with this +principle, and adhered to in every varying phase of circumstance +throughout his prolonged existence, were the proximate cause of his +successful and admirable career. And what a career! How triumphantly +successful, how worthy of admiration! More than half a century did he +serve his country, at home and abroad, dying at last, with his armor +on,--a watchman, faithful, even unto death, upon the ramparts of the +Citadel, where Justice, Truth, and Freedom have found a last asylum. +Think you that the intellectual and moral purposes of his being could +have been borne out by the most resolute exercise of will, but for the +judicious training of the _physique_? Or could the higher attributes of +his nature have been developed, indeed, in conjunction with a body +'cabined, cribbed and confined' by the enervating influence of youthful +self-indulgence? Born on-- + + "Stern New-England's rocky shore," + +no misnamed luxury shrouded his frame from the discipline of that +Teacher, "around whose steps the mountain breezes blow, and from whose +countenance all the virtues gather strength." You are, doubtless, all +familiar with Mr. Adams' habits of early rising, bathing, etc. The +latter, even, he maintained until within two years of his death, bathing +in an open stream each morning, if his locality permitted the enjoyment, +at a very early hour. I have his own authority for the fact that he, +during the different periods of his public sojourn abroad, laved his +vigorous frame in almost every river of Europe! Franklin, too, ascribed +his triumph over the obstacles that obstructed his early path to a +strict adherence to the rules of Temperance. And so, indeed, with most +of the truly great men whose names illumine the pages of our country's +history:--I might multiply examples almost _ad infinitum_, but your own +reading will enable you to endorse the correctness of my assertion. + +Since we have, incidentally, alluded to the _Bath_, in connection with +the example of Mr. Adams, let us commence the consideration of personal +habits, with this agreeable and essential accessory of Health. + +Though authorities may differ respecting some minor details with regard +to bathing, I believe medical testimony all goes to sanction its +adoption by all persons, in some one of its modifications. +Constitutional peculiarities should always be consulted in the +establishment of individual rules,--hence no general directions can be +made applicable to all persons. The cold bath, though that most +frequently adopted by persons in health, is, no doubt, injurious in some +cases, and careful observation alone can enable each individual to +establish the precise temperature at which his ablutions will be most +beneficial. + +But, while the most scrupulous and unvarying regard for cleanliness +should be considered of primary importance, the indiscreet use of the +bath should be avoided with equal care. Bishop Heber, one of the best +and most useful of men, sacrificed himself in the midst of a career of +eminent piety, to an imprudent use of this luxury, arising either from +ignorance or inadvertency. After rising very early to baptize several +native converts recently made in India, the field of his labors, he +returned to his bungalow in a state of exhaustion from excitement and +abstinence, and, without taking any nourishment, threw himself into a +bath, and soon after expired!--No one can safely resort to the bath when +the bodily powers are much weakened, by whatever cause; and though it is +unwise to use it directly after taking a full meal, it should not +immediately precede the chief meal of the day, if that be taken at a +late hour, and after prolonged abstinence and exertion. + +The _art of swimming_ early acquired, affords the most agreeable and +beneficial mode of bathing, not to dwell upon its numerous +recommendations in other respects; but when this enjoyment cannot be +secured, nor even the luxury of an immersion bath, luckily for health, +comfort, and propriety, the means of _sponge bathing_ may always be +secured, at least in this country (wherever it has risen above +barbarism), though I must say that frequently during my travels in +England, and even through towns boasting good hotels, I found water and +towels at a high premium, and very difficult of acquisition at that! +Sponging the whole person upon rising, either in cold or tepid water, as +individual experience proves best, with the use of the Turkish towel, or +some similar mode of friction, is one of the best preparations for a day +of useful exertion. + +This practice has collateral advantages, inasmuch as it naturally leads +to attention to all the details of the toilet essentially connected with +refinement and health--to proper care of the Hair, Teeth, Nails, +etc.,--in short, to a neat and suitable arrangement of the dress before +leaving one's apartment in the morning. To slippered age belongs the +indulgence of a careless morning toilet; but with the morning of life we +properly associate readiness for action in some pursuit demanding steady +and prolonged exertion, early begun, and with every faculty and +attribute in full exercise. + +Fashion sanctions so many varying modes of wearing or not wearing the +_hair_, that no directions can be given in relation to it, except such +as enjoin the avoidance of all fantastic dressing, and the observance of +entire neatness with relation to it. Careful brushing, together with +occasional ablutions, will best preserve this natural ornament; and I +would, also, suggest the use of such _pomades_ only as are most +delicately scented. No gentleman should go about like a walking +perfumer's shop, redolent, not of-- + + "Sabean odors from the spicy shores + Of Araby the Blest," + +but of spirits of turpentine, musk, etc., 'commixed and commingled' in +'confusion worse confounded' to all persons possessed of a nicety of +nervous organization. All perfumes for the handkerchiefs, or worn about +the person, should be, not only of the most unexceptionable kind, but +used in very moderate quantities. Their profuse use will ill supply the +neglect of the bath, or of the proper care of the teeth and general +toilet. + +The _Teeth_ cannot be too carefully attended to by those who value good +looks, as well as health. And nothing tends more towards their +preservation than the habitual use of the brush, before retiring, as +well as in the morning. The use of some simple uninjurious adjunct to +the brush may be well; but pure water and the brush, faithfully applied, +will secure cleanliness--the great preservative of these essential +concomitants of manly beauty. If you use tobacco--(and I fervently hope +none of you who have not the habit will ever allow yourselves to acquire +it!)--but if you are, unfortunately, enslaved by the habit, never omit +to rinse the mouth thoroughly after smoking (I will not admit the +possibility, that any _young man_, in this age of progressive +refinement, is addicted to habitual _chewing_), and never substitute the +use of a strong odor for this proper observance, especially when going +into the society of ladies. Smoke dispellers must yield the palm to the +purifying effects of the unadulterated element, after all. + +The utmost nicety in the care of the _Nails_, is an indispensable part +of a gentleman's toilet. They should be kept of a moderate length, as +well as clean and smooth. Avoid all absurd forms, and inconvenient +length, in cutting them, which you will find it easiest to do neatly +while they are softened by washing, and the use of the nail-brush. + +Properly fitted boots and shoes, together with frequent bathing, will +best secure _the feet_ from the torturing excrescences by which poor +mortals are so often afflicted. The addition of _salt_ to the foot-bath, +if persevered in, will greatly protect them from the painful effects of +over-walking, etc. + +I think that under the head of Dress, in one of my earliest letters, I +expressed my opinion regarding the essentials of refinement and comfort +as connected with this branch of the toilet. I will only say, in this +connection, that a liberal supply of linen, hosiery, etc., should be +regarded as of more importance than outside display, and that the most +enlightened economy suggests the employment of the best materials, the +most skillful manufacturers, and the unrestrained use of these "aids and +appliances" of gentleman-like propriety, comfort, and health. + +The best and surest mode of securing ample and certain leisure for +needful attention to the minutiae of the toilet is _Early Rising_, a +habit that, in addition to the healthful influence it exerts upon the +physique, collaterally, promotes the minor moralities of life in a +wonderful degree, and really is one of the fundamentals of success in +whatever pursuit you may be engaged. Here, again, permit me to refer you +to the examples of the truly great men of history--those of our own land +will suffice--Washington, Franklin, Adams, and, though inconsistent with +his habits in some other respects, Webster. Of the latter, it is well +known, that he did not trim the midnight lamp for purposes of +professional investigation or mental labor of any kind, but rose early +to such tasks, with body and mind invigorated for ready and successful +exertion. I have seen few things from his powerful pen, more pleasingly +written than his _Eulogy upon Morning_, as it may properly be called, +though I don't know that to be the title of an article written by him in +favor of our present theme, in which erudition and pure taste contend +for supremacy with convincing argument. + +But to secure the full benefit of _early rising_, my young friends, you +must also, establish the habit of _retiring early_ and regularly. No one +dogma of medical science, perhaps, is more fully borne out by universal +experience than this, that "two hours' sleep before midnight is worth +all obtained afterwards." To seek repose before the system is too far +over-taxed for quiet, refreshing rest, and before the brain has been +aroused from the quiescence natural to the evening hours, into renewed +and unhealthy action, is most consistent with the laws of health. And, +depend upon it, though the elasticity of youthful constitutions may, for +a time, resist the pernicious effects of a violation of these laws, the +hour will assuredly come, sooner or later, to all, when the _lex +talionis_ will be felt in resistless power. Fashion and Nature are sadly +at war on this point, as I am fully aware; but the edicts of the one are +immutable, those of the other are proverbially fickle. + +Students, especially, should regard obedience to the wiser of the two +as imperative. The mental powers, as well as the physical, demand +this--the "_mind's eye_" as well as the organs of outward vision, will +be found, by experiment, to possess the clearer and quicker discernment +during those hours when, throughout the domains of Nature, all is +activity, healthfulness and visible beauty. And no peculiarity of +circumstance or inclination will ever make that healthful which is +_unnatural_. Hence the wisdom of _establishing habits_ consistent with +health, while no obstacle exists to their easy acquisition. There is an +experiment on record made by two generals, each at the head of an army +on march, in warm weather, over the same route. The one led on his +troops by day, the other chose the cooler hours for advancing, and +reposed while the sun was abroad. In all other respects, their +arrangements were similar. At the end of ten or twelve days, the result +convincingly proved that exertion even under mid-summer heat is most +healthfully made while the stimulus of solar light sustains the system, +and that sleep is most refreshing and beneficial in all respects when +sought while the hush and obscurity of the outer world assist repose. + +But if, as the nursery doggerel wisely declares, + + "Early to bed and early to rise, + Makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise," + +there must be united with this rational habit, others each equally +important to the full advantage to be derived from all combined. + +Among these, _Exercise_ holds a prominent rank. As with the bath, this +is most effectually employed for health before the system is exhausted +by mental labor. + +Among the numerous modes of exercise, none is so completely at command +at all times and under all circumstances, as _walking_. But the full +benefit of this exercise, is not often enjoyed by the inhabitants of +cities, by reason of the impure air that is almost necessarily inhaled +in connection with it. Still, it is not impossible to obviate this +difficulty by a little pains. The _early riser_ and the _rapid +pedestrian_ may in general, easily secure time to seek daily one of the +few and limited breathing-places that, though in this regard we are +vastly inferior to Europeans in taste and good sense, even our American +cities supply, either, like what they indeed are, _lungs_, in the very +centre of activity, or at no unapproachable distance from it. Do not +forget that vegetation, while it sends forth noxious influences _at +night_, exales oxygen and other needful food for vitality, _in the +morning_, especially; nor that an erect carriage, which alone gives +unobstructed play to the organs of respiration and digestion, is +requisite, together with considerable activity of movement, to secure +the legitimate results of walking. + +Students, and others whose occupations are of a sedentary character, +sometimes adopt the practice of taking a long walk periodically. This +is, no doubt, promotive of health, provided it is not at first carried +to an extreme. All such habits should be gradually formed, and their +formation commenced and pursued with due respect for physiological +rules. Mr. Combe, the distinguished phrenologist--in his "Constitution +of Man," I think, relates an instance of a young person, in infirm +health and unaccustomed to such exertion, who undertook a walk of twenty +miles, to be accomplished without interruption. The first seven or eight +miles were achieved with ease and pleasure to the pedestrian, but +thenceforth discomfort and final exhaustion should have been a +sufficient warning to the tyro to desist from his self-appointed task. A +severe illness was the consequence and punishment of his ignorant +violation of physiological laws. + +By the way, I cannot too strongly recommend to your careful perusal the +various works of Dr. Andrew Combe, long the physician of the amiable +King of Belgium, in relation to that and kindred subjects. His +"Physiology as applied to Mental Health," is replete with practical +suggestions and advice of the most instructive and important nature, as +are also his "Dietetics," etc. + +Himself an incurable invalid, he maintained the vital forces through +many years of eminent usefulness to others, only by dint of the most +strenuous adherence to the strictest requirements of the Science of the +Physique. The writings of his brother, Mr. George Combe, and especially +the work I have just mentioned, the "Constitution of Man," also abound +in lessons of practical usefulness, which may be adopted irrespective of +his peculiar phrenological views. In the multitude of newer +publications these admirable books are already half-forgotten, but my +limited reading has afforded me no knowledge of anything superior to +them, as text-books for the young. + +_Riding_ and _driving_ need no recommendation to insure their +popularity, as means of exercise. Both have many pleasure and +health-giving attractions. + +Every young man should endeavor to acquire a thorough knowledge of both +riding and driving, not from a desire to emulate the ignoble +achievements of a horse-jockey, but as proper _accomplishments_ for a +gentleman. + +The possession of a fine horse is a prolific source of high and innocent +enjoyment, and may often be secured by those whose purses are not taxed +for _cigars and wine_! Nothing can be more exhilarating than the +successful management of this spirited and generous animal, whether +under the saddle or in harness! Even plethoric, ponderous old Dr. +Johnson, admitted that "few things are so exciting as to be drawn +rapidly along in a post-chaise, over a smooth road, by a fine horse!" + +Let me repeat, however, that young men should be content to promote +health and enjoyment by the moderate, gentleman-like gratification of +the pride of skill, in this respect. Like many other amusements, though +entirely innocent and unexceptionable when reasonably indulged in, its +abuse leads inevitably to the most debasing consequences.--Our dusty +high-roads very ill supply the place of the extensive public Parks and +gardens that furnish such agreeable places of resort for both riding and +driving, as well as for pedestrians, in most of the large cities of +Europe, but one may, at least, secure better air and more freedom of +space by resorting to them than to the streets, for every form of +exercise. And as it is a well established fact that agreeable and novel +associations for both the eye and the mind are essential concomitants of +beneficial exercise, we have every practical consideration united to +good taste in favor of eschewing the streets whenever fate permits. + + "Oh! how canst thou renounce the boundless store + Of charms which Nature to her votaries yields,-- + The warbling woodland, the resounding shore, + The pomp of groves and garniture of fields; + All that the genial ray of morning gilds, + And all that echoes to the song of even, + All that the mountain's sheltering bosom shields, + And all the dread magnificence of Heaven;-- + O! how canst thou renounce and hope to be forgiven!" + + BEATTIE + +_Eating_ and _drinking_ are too closely connected with our general +subject of health, to be forgotten here. + +That regard for Temperance which I have endeavored to commend to you, of +course yields a prominent place to habits in these respects. + +In relation to _eating_, I strongly recommend the cultivation of _simple +tastes_, and the careful avoidance of every indulgence tending towards +sensuality. + +Some knowledge of _Dietetics_ is essential to the adoption +of right opinions and practice on this point. For instance, no man +should wait for dire experience to enforce the truths that roast and +broiled meats possess the most nutritious qualities; that all _fried_ +dishes are, necessarily, more or less unwholesome; that animal oils and +fatty substances require stronger digestive force for their assimilation +than persons of sedentary life usually possess; that warm bread, as a +rule, is unsuited to the human stomach, etc., etc. No one should +consider these matters unworthy of serious attention, though temporarily +free from inconvenience arising from neglecting them. Eventually, every +human constitution will exhibit painful proofs of all outrages committed +upon the laws by which its operations are governed; and the greater the +license permitted in youth, the severer will be the penalty exacted in +after years. + + ----"Mind and Body are so close combined, + Where Health of Body, Health of Mind you find." + +Preserve, then, as you value the means of usefulness, the perfect play +of your mental powers--so easily trammelled by the clogging of the +machinery of the body--the unadulterated taste that is content with a +sufficiency of wholesome, well-cooked food to satisfy the demands of +healthful appetite. Cultivate no love of condiments, sauces and +stimulants; indulge no ambition to excel in dressing salads, classifying +_ragouts_, or in demonstrating, down to the nicety of a single +ingredient, the distinction between a home-made and an imported _pate de +foie gras_! Distinctions such as these may suffice for the worn-out +society of a corrupt civilization, but our countrymen--MEN--should shout +EXCELSIOR! + +Abstract rules in relations to the hours proper for taking meals, +however carefully adapted to the security of health, in themselves +considered, must, of necessity, give place to those artificially imposed +by custom and convenience. Thus, though the practice of _dining late_ is +not sanctioned by Hygeia, it admits of question, whether, as the usages +of the business-world at present exists, it is not a wiser custom than +any other permitted by circumstance. + +All who have given any attention to the subject know, that neither +bodily nor mental labor can be either comfortably or successfully +pursued directly after a full meal. Hence, then, those whose occupations +require their attention during several successive hours, may find the +habit of dining after the more imperative labors of the day are +accomplished, most conducive to health as well as convenience. + +Still, it should not be forgotten, that long abstinence is likely to +produce the exhaustion that tells so surely and seriously upon the +constitution, of young persons especially. This may be prevented by +taking, systematically, a little light, simple nutriment, sufficient to +produce what is aptly termed the _stimulus of distention_ in that much +abused organ--the stomach. This practice regularly adhered to, will also +promote a collateral advantage, by acting as a security against the too +keen sharpening of appetite that tends to repletion in eating, and which +sometimes produces results similar to those exhibited by a +boa-constrictor after dining upon a whole buffalo, swallowed without the +previous ceremony of carving! One should never dine so heartily as to be +unfitted for the subsequent enjoyment of society, or of the lighter +pursuits of literature. _Deliberate and thorough mastication_ will more +beneficially, and quite as pleasurably, prolong the enjoyments of the +table, as a more hurried disposal of a large quantity of food. And +really I do not know how the most rigid economist of time, or the most +self-sacrificing devotee either of Mammon or of Literature, can more +judiciously devote an hour of each day than to the single purpose of +_dining_! + +Happily for those whose self-respect does not always furnish the +sustaining power requisite for the maintenance of a principle, fashion +no longer requires of any man the use of even _wine_, much less of +stronger beverages. And with reference to the use of all alcoholic +stimulants, as well as of tobacco, I would remind you that _those only +who are not enslaved by appetite, are_ FREE! If you have acquired a +liking for wine or tobacco, and would abjure either, or both, you will +soon be convinced, by experiment, of the truth of Dr. Johnson's saying, +of which, by the way, his own life furnished a striking illustration, +that "_abstinence is easier than temperance_." + +To prolong arguments against the habits of smoking and drinking, were a +work of supererogation, here. I will advance but one, which may, +possibly, possess the merit of novelty. Both have the effect, materially +to limit our enjoyment of the presence and conversation of + + "Heaven's last, best gift to man!" + +I cannot better dismiss this important topic than by quoting the +following passage from the writings of Sir Walter Raleigh: + +"Except thou desire to hasten thy end, take this for a general +rule--that thou never add any artificial heat to thy body by wine or +spice, until thou find that time hath decayed thy natural heat; the +sooner thou dost begin to help nature the sooner she will forsake thee, +and leave thee to trust altogether to art." + +In my youth, advice to young men was constantly commingled--whatever its +general tenor--with admonitions regarding the necessity for industry and +perseverance in those who would achieve worldly success. In these +utilitarian times, when all seem borne along upon a resistless current, +hurrying to the attainment of some practical end, engrossed by schemes +of political ambition, or devoted to the acquisition of wealth, a quiet +looker-on--as I am wont to regard myself--is tempted to counsel +"moderation in all things," contentment with the legitimate results of +honorable effort, the cultivation of habits of daily relaxation from the +severity of toil, of daily rest from the mental tension that is demanded +for successful competition in the arena of life. + +The impression that _sleep_ is a sufficient restorative from the wearing +effects of otherwise ceaseless labor, or that _change of occupation_ +furnishes all the relief that nature requires in this respect, is, +undoubtedly, erroneous. "The man," says an eminent student of humanity, +"who does not now allow himself two hours for relaxation after dinner, +will be _compelled_ to devote more time than that daily to the care of +his health, eventually." + +To allow one's self to be so engrossed by any pursuit, however laudable +in itself, as to reserve no leisure for the claims of Society, of +Friendship, of Taste, is so irrational as to need nothing but reflection +to render it apparent. In a merely utilitarian view, it is unwise, +since, as AEsop has demonstrated, the bow that is never unbent soon +ceases to be fit for use; but there is, surely, a higher consideration, +addressed to the reason of man. Pope embodies it, in part, in the lines + + ----"God is paid when man receives, + _To enjoy is to obey_!" + +To have an aim, a purpose in life, sufficiently engrossing to act as an +incentive to the exercise of all the powers of being, is essential to +health and happiness. But to pursue any one object to the exclusion of +all considerations for self-culture and intellectual enjoyment, is +destructive of everything worthy that name. + +They who devote all the exertions of youth and manhood to the acquisition +of political distinction, or of gold, for instance--cherishing, meanwhile, +a sort of Arcadian dream of ultimately enjoying the pleasures of +intellectual communion, or the charms of the natural world, when the +heat and burden of the conflict of life shall be done--exhibit a most +deplorable ignorance of the truth that they will possess in age only +the crippled capacities that disuse has almost wholly robbed of vitality, +together with such as are prematurely worn out by being habitually +overtaxed. + +On the contrary, those who believe that + + "It is not all of life to live," + +and early establish a true standard of excellence, and acquaint +themselves with the immutable laws of our being, will so commingle +self-ennobling pursuits and enjoyments with industrious and +well-directed attention to the needful demands of practical life, as to +secure as much of _ever-present happiness_ as falls to the lot of +humanity, together with the enviable retrospection of an exalted +ambition, rightly fulfilled. They may also hope for the invaluable +possession of intellectual and moral developments to be matured in that +state of existence of which this is but the embryo. These are truisms, I +admit, my young friends, yet the spirit of the age impels their +iteration and re-iteration! + +Burke's musical periods lamented the departure of the "age of chivalry." +Would that one gifted as he may revive the waning existence of the +social and domestic virtues, and inspire my young countrymen with an +ambition too lofty in its aspirations to permit the sacrifice of mental +and moral powers, of natural affections, and immortal aspirations, upon +the altars of Mammon!--shrines now yearly receiving from our country a +holocaust of sacrifices, to which battle-fields are as naught in +comparison. + +But to return from this unpremeditated digression. Natural tastes and +individual circumstances must, to a considerable extent, determine the +relaxations and amusements most conducive to enjoyment and health. + +You will scarcely need to be told that persons of sedentary habits, and +especially those devoted to literary occupations, should make _exercise +in the open air_ a daily recreation, and that it will best subserve the +purposes of pleasure and health when united with the advantages arising +from _cheerful companionship_. + +Hence the superiority of walking, riding, driving, boating, and sporting +in its various forms, to all in-door exercises and amusements--and +especially to those tending rather to tax the brain than exercise the +body--for those whose mental powers are most taxed by their avocations. + +On the other hand, there are those to whom the lighter investigations of +literature and science afford the most appropriate relief from the toils +of business. + +Permit me, however, to enter my protest against the belief that a change +from the labors and duties of city life to the close sleeping-rooms, the +artificiality and excitement of a fashionable watering-place affords a +proper and healthful relief to a weary body and an overwrought brain. +Life at a watering-place is no more an equivalent for the pure air, the +simple habits, the wholesome food, the _repose of mind and heart_, +afforded by unadulterated country life, than immersion in a bathing-tub +is a satisfactory substitute for swimming in a living stream, or a +contemplation of the most exquisite picture of rural scenes, for a +glorious canter amid green fields and over breezy hills! Nor will +dancing half the night in heated rooms, late suppers, bowling-alleys and +billiards, not to speak of still more objectionable indulgences, restore +these devotees to study or business to their city-homes re-invigorated +for renewed action, as will the least laborious employments of the +farmer, the "sportive toil" of the naturalist, the varied enjoyments of +the traveller amid the wonders of our vast primeval forests, or of the +voyager who explores the attractions of our unrivalled chain of inland +lakes. People who do their thinking by proxy, and regulate their +enjoyments by the _on dit_ of the fashionable world, yearly spend money +enough at some crowded resort of the _beau monde_ (heaven save the +mark!) to enable them to make the tour of Europe, or buy a pretty villa +and grounds in the country, or do some deed "twice blessed," in that "it +blesseth him that gives and him that takes." In Scotland, in England, in +the North of Europe generally, men and women whose social position +necessarily involves refinement of habits and education, go, in little +congenial parties, into the mountains and among the lakes, visit spots +renowned in song and story, collect specimens of the wonders of nature, +"camp out," as they say at the West, eat simply, dress rationally--in +short, _really rusticate_, in happy independence alike of the thraldom +of fashion and the supremacy of convention. Thus in the Old World, among +the learned, the accomplished, the high-born. Here in Young America--let +the sallow cheek, the attenuated limbs, the dull eye and _blase_ air of +the youthful scions of many a noble old Revolutionary stock, attest only +too truly, a treasonous slavery to the most arbitrary and remorseless of +tyrants! Would that they may serve, at least, as beacons to warn you, +seasonably, against adding yourselves to the denizens of haunts where + + "Unwieldly wealth, and cumbrous pomp repose; + And every want to luxury allied, + And every pang that _folly pays to pride_!" + + * * * * * + +I would that all my young countrymen might have looked upon the last +hours of my revered friend, John Quincy Adams, and thus learned the +impressive lessons taught by that solemn scene; lessons that--to use his +own appropriate language-- + + ----"bid us seize the moments as they pass, + Snatch the retrieveless sun-beam as it flies, + Nor lose one sand of life's revolving glass-- + Aspiring still, with energy sublime, + By virtuous deeds to give _Eternity to Time_!"[5] + + [5] Concluding lines of Mr. Adams' "Address to the _Sun-Dial_ under the + window of the Hall of the House of Representatives." + +It was, indeed, a fitting close of his long, noble life! Faithful to his +duty to his country, he maintained his post to the last, and fell, like +a true defender of liberty--renouncing his weapons only with his life. +Borne from the arena of senatorial strife to a couch hastily prepared +beneath the same roof that had so often echoed his words of dauntless +eloquence, attended by mourning friends, and receiving the tender +ministrations of the companion alike of his earlier and later manhood, +the flickering lamp of life slowly expired. After, apparently, reviewing +the lengthened retrospection of a temperate, rational, useful life, from +the boyish years + + "Whose distant footsteps echoed through the corridors of Time," + +to the dying efforts of genius and patriotism, the hushed stillness of +that hallowed chamber at length rendered audible the sublime words--"IT +IS THE LAST OF EARTH! I AM CONTENT!" + +I think it was during the administration of Sir Charles Bagot, the +immediate successor of Lord Durham, as Governor General of the Canadas, +that I had the pleasure to dine one day, at the house of a distinguished +civilian who held office under him, in company with the celebrated +traveller L----, and his friend, the well-known E---- G---- W----, a man +who, despite wealth, rank, and talent, paid a life-long penalty for a +youthful error. There were, also, present several members of the +Provincial Parliament, then in session at Kingston, which was, at that +time, the seat of government, and a number of ladies--those of the party +of Americans with whom I was travelling, and some others. + +The conversation, very naturally, turned upon the national peculiarities +of the _Yankees_--as the English call, not the inhabitants of New +England alone, but the people of the North American States generally--in +consequence of the fact that the world-wide traveller had just completed +his first visit to our country. Some one asked him a leading question +respecting his impressions of us as a people, and more than one +good-humored sally was given and parried among us. At length L---- said, +so audibly and gravely as to arrest the attention of the whole company: + +"I have really but two serious faults to charge upon Jonathan." + +"May we be permitted to inquire what those are?" returned I. + +"That he _repudiates his debts_, and _doesn't take time to eat his +dinner_." + +When the general laugh had subsided, Mr. W---- remarked that, except when +at the best hotels in the larger cities, he had found less inducement +for dining deliberately in the United States than in most civilized +lands he had visited, in consequence of the prevalent bad cookery. + +"The words of Goldsmith," said he,-- + + "'Heaven sends us good meat, but the devil sends cooks!' + +were always present to my mind when at table there! They eschew honest +cold roast beef, as though there were poison in meat but once cooked, +served a second time, though Hamlet is authority for _our_ taste in that +respect.--The cold venison you did me the honor to compliment so highly, +at lunch, this morning, L----, would have been offered you _fried_ by +our good Yankee cousins!" + +"The patron saint of _la cuisine_ forefend!" cried a smooth-browed +Englishman--"not re-cooked, I hope?" + +"Assuredly!" returned W----, "I trust these ladies and Colonel Lunettes +will pardon me,--but such infamous stupidity is quite common. I soon +learned, however, the secret of preserving my "capacious stomach" in +unimpaired capacity for action, [an irresistibly comic glance downward +upon his portly person] and could, I thought, very readily explain-- + + 'What is't that takes from _them_ + Their stomach, pleasures, and their golden sleep, + Why they do bend their eyes upon the earth, + + * * * * * + + In thick ey'd musing and curs'd melancholy!'" + +If the frank denunciations of this eccentric observer of life and +manners might otherwise have been regarded as impolite, his more severe +comments upon his own countrymen proved, at least, that no national +partiality swayed his judgment. + +I remember his telling me the following anecdote, as we chatted over our +coffee, after joining the ladies in the evening:--In answer to some +inquiry on my part, respecting the social condition of _the people_--the +peasantry, as he called them, of the Provinces, he spoke in unmitigated +condemnation of their ignorance, and especially of their insolence and +boorishness. "Get L---- to tell you," said he, "how nearly he and his +servants were frozen to death one fierce night, while an infernal +gate-keeper opposed his road-right. Then, again, the other morning, Mrs. +M---- (our hostess) who like every other lady here, except, perhaps, +Lady Bagot, goes to market every day, was referred by a man, from whom +she inquired for potatoes, to an old crone, with the words--'This _lady_ +sell them,--here is _a woman_ who wants to buy potatoes!'" + +The following morning, while our American party were driving out to the +superb Fort that protects the Harbor of Kingston, to visit which we had +been politely furnished with a permit by an official friend, I +endeavored to draw from a very charming and accomplished lady the secret +of her unusual silence and reserve at dinner the evening before. She is +really a celebrity, as much for her remarkable conversational powers, as +for any other reason, perhaps, and I had, therefore, the more regretted +her not joining in the conversation. + +"What made the mystery more difficult of solution," said one of the +other ladies, "was the equally imperturbable gravity of that handsome +Frenchman who sat beside Virginia." + +"Handsome!" retorted Virginia, "do you call that man handsome!--his high +cheek bones and swarthy complexion show his Indian blood rather too +plainly for my taste, I must confess." + +"That commingling of races is very common here, Virginia," said I, "Mr. +E---- is a somewhat prominent member of the Canadian Parliament. I heard +a speech from him, in French, yesterday morning, which was listened to +with marked attention. There were a number of ladies in the +_side-boxes_, too, and it is evident from his attention to his dress, if +for no other reason, that Mr. E---- is an _elegant_!" + +"All that may be," rejoined Virginia, "but I have no fancy for light +blue 'unwhisperables,' as Tom calls them, nor for ruffled shirts!" + +"A change has come o'er the spirit of your dream, most queenly daughter +of the 'sunny South!'--is this the sprightly _Americaine_ who won all +hearts the other day on the St. Lawrence,--from that magnificent British +officer, to the quiet old priest whose very beard seemed to laugh, at +least"---- + +"That, indeed, Col. Lunettes!--but for your ever-ready gallantry I would +exclaim-- + + 'Man delights me not, nor woman either!' + +but here we are at the entrance of the famous donjon keep!" + +We spent some time in examining the--to the ladies--novel attractions of +the place. By-and-by, the fair Virginia, who had strayed off a little by +herself, called to me to come and explain the mode of using a port-hole +to her. In a few minutes, she said, in a low tone, sitting down, as she +spoke upon a dismounted cannon, "Col. Lunettes, I beg you not to allude +again to that--to the dinner, yesterday, or, at least, to my +embarrassment"---- + +"Your embarrassment, my dear girl!" I exclaimed, "you astonish me! Do +explain yourself"---- + +"Hush," returned my companion, looking furtively over her shoulder, +"that young Englishman seems to be engrossing the attention of the rest +of the party, and, perhaps, I shall have time to tell you"---- + +"Do, my dear, if anything has annoyed you--surely so old a friend may +claim your confidence." + +"I have heard of the 'son of a gun,'" replied she, evidently making a +strong effort to recall the natural sprightliness that seemed so +singularly to have deserted her of late; "I don't see why I am not the +_daughter of a gun_, at this moment, and so entitled to be very brave! +But about this Mr. E----, Colonel," she almost whispered, bending her +head so as to screen her face from my observation. "You know Mrs. M---- +called for me the other morning to go and walk with her alone, because, +as she said, she wanted to talk a little about old times, when we were +in the convent school at C---- together. Well, as we came to a little +"shop," as she styled it--a hardware store, _we_ should say--she begged +me to go in with her a moment, while she gave some directions about a +hall-stove, saying, with an apology: "We wives of government officers +here, do all these things, as a matter of course." While she walked back +in the place, I very naturally remained near the door, amusing myself by +observing what was passing in the street. Presently, a fine horse +arrested my eye, as he came prancing along. His rider seemed to have +some ado to control him, as I thought, at first, but I suddenly became +aware that he was endeavoring to stop him, in mid career, and that, when +he succeeded--he--I--there was no mistaking it--his glance almost +petrified me, in short, and I had only just power to turn quickly in +search of Mrs. M----." + +The slight form of the speaker quivered visibly, and she paused +abruptly. + +"Why, my poor child," said I, soothingly, "never mind it! How can you +allow such a thing to distress you in this way?" + +"If anything of the kind had ever happened to me before, I should have +thought it my fault, in some way; but when I got back to our hotel, and +reviewed the whole matter, and--but there come the rest of the +party"--she added, hurriedly. "Do you wonder now at my manner at the +dinner? I knew his face the moment the man entered the dining room; and +when Mr. M---- introduced him, and requested him to conduct me, the +burning glow that flashed over his swarthy brow convinced me that he, +too, recognized me. I would sooner have encountered a basilisk than your +elegant, parliamentary Frenchman!" + + * * * * * + +"Doctor, what may I eat?" inquired a dyspeptic American, who had just +received a prescription from Abernethy--the eccentric and celebrated +English physician. + +"_Eat?_" thundered the disciple of Galen, "the poker and tongs, if you +will _chew them well_!" + + * * * * * + +What a commingling of nations and characters there was in the little +party of which I made one, on a serene evening, lang-syne, at +Constantinople! We floated gently over the placid bosom of the +sunset-tinted Golden Horn, rowed by four stout Mussulmans, and bound for +that point of the shore of the Marmora nearest the suburb of Ezoub +where horses awaited us for a brisk canter of some miles back to the +city. There were, Lord ----, an English nobleman; a Hungarian refugee; a +Yankee sea-captain; a dark-eyed youth from one of the Greek Islands; and +myself--men severed by birth and education from communion of thought and +feeling, yet united, for the moment, by a similarity of purpose; +associated by the subtle influence of circumstance, into a serene +commingling of one common nature, and capacitated for the interchange of +impressions and ideas, at least in an imperfect degree, through the +medium of a strange jargon, compounded originally of materials as varied +as the native languages of the several individuals composing the group +in our old Turkish _Caique_, which may have been, for aught we knew, the +identical one that followed Byron in his Leander-swim! + +The conversation naturally partook in character of the scene before +us:--Near, towered the time-stained walls of the Seraglio--so long the +cradling-place of successive Sultans, and then furnishing the embryo of +the voluptuous pleasures of their anticipated paradise. Beyond, rose the +ruin-crowned heights, the domes and minarets of old Stamboul, rich in +historic suggestions, glowing now in the warmly-lingering smile of the +departing day-god, + + "Not, as in Northern climes, obscurely bright, + But one unclouded blaze of living light!" + +Before us, in our way over the crystal waters, loomed up the gloomy, +verdure-draped turrets of the "Irde Koule" of this oft-rebelling and +oft-conquered seat of Oriental splendor and imperial power. As with the +"Tower" of London, the mere sight of this now silent and deserted +castle, conjured up recollections replete with deeds of wild romance, +and darker scenes of blood and crime. Around us flowed the waters whose +limpid depths had so oft received the sack-shrouded form of helpless +beauty, when midnight blackness rivalled the horror of the foul murder +it veiled forever from mortal ken. Argosies and fleets had been borne +upon these waves, whose names or whose conflicts were of world-wide +renown--from the mythical adventurers of the Golden-Fleece to the +triumphant squadrons of the Osmanlis, all seemed to float before the eye +of fancy! + +From the broken sentences that, for some time, seemed most expressive of +the contemplative mood engendered both by our surroundings and by the +placidity of the hour, there gradually arose a somewhat connected +discussion of the present condition of the Ottoman Porte. + +It is not my purpose to inflict upon you a detailed report of our +discourse; but only to relate, for your amusement, a fragment of it, +which somehow has, strangely enough, floated upwards from the darkened +waters of the past, with sufficient distinctness to be snatched from the +oblivion to which its utter insignificance might properly consign it. + +"There is not," said the British noble--a man curious in literature, and +a somewhat speculative observer of life--"there is not a single purely +literary production in the Turkish language, written by a living author; +not a poem, nor romance, nor essay. The Koran would almost seem to +constitute their all of earthly lore and heavenly aspiration. What an +anomaly in the biography of modern peoples!" + +This last sentence was addressed especially to the sea-captain and me, +the _idiomatical_ English in which the passing fancy of the speaker +found expression being wholly unintelligible to all except ourselves. + +"Their total want of a national literature," said the American, "does +not so materially affect my comfort, I must confess, as the utter +absence of decent civilization in their renowned capital. For instance, +they have not an apology for a night-police in their confoundedly dark +streets, except the infernal dogs that infest them. The other night, +returning to my quarters, with my 'Ibrahim' pilot in front with a +lantern, I was persuaded, as one of these 'faithful guardians' fastened +his glistening ivories in my boot-top, that, like one of your 'lone +stars' at New York, Colonel Lunettes, he had 'mistaken his man,' and +supposed me to be the returned spirit of some one of the countless +throng of infidel dogs, upon whom his public education had instructed +him to make war to--_the teeth_!" + +"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed the Greek, in tones as musical as his dress and +attitude were picturesque, from the pile of boat cloaks upon which he +reposed in the bow of the boat, and opening his dark eyes till one saw +far down into the dreamy depths of his half-slumbering soul through his +quick-lit orbs. He had caught enough of the _sense_ of the captain's +nonsense, to imagine the joke to the full. "Ha, ha, ha!" laughed he, +again, and the shadowy walls of the blood-stained "Chateau of Seven +Towers," by which we were gliding, gave back the clear, clarion-like +tone; "but, while this brave _fils de la mer_[6] thus sports with the +terrors of my country's enslaver [here a frown, deep, dark, threatening, +and a quick clenching of the jewelled handle of the yataghan he wore in +his belt], the gates of fair Stamboul will close, and nor foe, nor +Frank, nor friend, be given to the dogs." + + [6] Son of the sea. + +"By thunder!" shouted the American, shaking himself up, as if at sea, +with a suspicious sail in sight, "he is more than half right. Would you +have thought it so late?" + +"Even a Yankee, like Captain ----, a fair representative of the +'universal nation,' learns to dream and linger here," responded the +Englishman, good-humoredly. + +Upon this, I made use of the little knowledge I possessed of the +Turkish, to interrogate our _Caidjis_ respecting the time further +required to reach our landing-place. + +"Allah is great, and Mohammed is his Prophet!" was all I could fully +apprehend of his slowly-delivered reply. + +It was now the captain's turn to laugh, and as his sonorous peal +rippled over the Marmora, he quietly insinuated his fore-finger and +thumb into the disengaged palm of the devout Mussulman I had so +touchingly adjured. + +The only response of the devotee of the Prophet was a gutteral +repetition of "Pekee! good! pekee! pekee!" But by an influence as +effective as it was mysterious, our swan-like movement was exchanged for +a most hope-encouraging velocity. + +"Bravo!" exclaimed my lord. + +"Bravissima!" intonated the Hun. + +"Go it, boys!" shouted the "old salt." + +"By the soul of Mithridates and the deeds of Thermopolae!" chimed in the +scion of the "isles of Greece," catching the instinctively-intelligible +contagion of the sportive moment. + +"And what said Uncle Hal?" you wonder, perhaps. Oh, I was listening to +the low, melancholy, semi-howl in which the imperturbable Moslems were +slowly chanting "_Guezal! pek guezal!_"[7] as they turned their dull eyes +lingeringly towards their fast-receding mosques and minarets. + + [7] My beautiful! my most beautiful! + +But, meeting the questioning glances of my companions, as their mirth +began to subside, I contributed my humble quota to the general stock of +fun by saying, with extreme gravity of voice and manner: + +"When will wonders cease in the Golden Horn! At first, even its +unquestionable antiquity did not redeem this vessel from my +contempt--now I consider it an '_irresistible duck_!'--and I wish, +moreover, to publish my conviction that, though barbarous in matters of +literature and art, the Turks impressively teach their boastful +superiors a _religious respect for cleanliness_." + + * * * * * + +I remember to have been singularly impressed, when I read it, with an +anecdote somewhat as follows: + +As too frequently happens on such occasions, a discussion in relation to +some insignificant matter, into which a large party of men, who had +dined together, and were lingering late over their wine, had fallen, +gradually increased in vehemence and obstinacy of opinion, until +frenzied excitement ruled the hour. + + "From words they almost came to blows, + When luckily" + +the attention of one of the most furious of the disputants was suddenly +arrested by the appearance of one of the gentlemen present. There was no +angry flush on his brow, no "laughing devil" in his eye, and he sat +quietly regarding the scene before him, serene and self-possessed as +when he entered the apartment hours before. His astonished companion +inquired the cause of such placidity, in the midst of anger and +turbulence. + +The gentleman pointed, with a smile, to a half-empty water-bottle beside +him, and replied: "While the rest of the company have been industriously +occupied in endeavoring to drown the distinctive attribute of +man--reason--I have preserved its supremacy by simply confining myself +to a non-intoxicating beverage." + + * * * * * + +I trust you will not think the following somewhat quaint verses, from +the pen of an old and now almost forgotten poet, a _mal-a-propos_ +conclusion to this letter: + +THE YOUTH AND THE PHILOSOPHER + + A Grecian youth, of talents rare, + Whom Plato's philosophic care + Had formed for Virtue's nobler view, + By precept and example too, + Would often boast his matchless skill + To curb the steed, and guide the wheel; + And as he passed the gazing throng + With graceful ease, and smack'd the thong, + The idiot wonder they expressed, + Was praise and transport to his breast. + + At length, quite vain, he needs would show + His master what his art could do; + And bade his slaves the chariot lead + To Academus' sacred shade. + The trembling grove confessed its fright, + The wood-nymphs started at the sight; + The Muses drop the learned lyre, + And to their inmost shades retire. + Howe'er, the youth, with forward air, + Bows to the Sage, and mounts the car; + The lash resounds, the coursers spring, + The chariot marks the rolling ring; + And gathering crowds, with eager eyes, + And shouts, pursue him as he flies. + + Triumphant to the goal returned, + With nobler thirst his bosom burned; + And now along the indented plain + The self-same track he marks again; + Pursues with care the nice design, + Nor ever deviates from the line. + Amazement seized the circling crowd; + The youths with emulation glowed; + E'en bearded sages hailed the boy, + And all but Plato gazed with joy. + + For he, deep-judging sage, beheld + With pain the triumph of the field: + And when the charioteer drew nigh, + And, flushed with hope, had caught his eye, + "Alas! unhappy youth," he cried, + "Expect no praise from me," (and sighed); + "With indignation I survey + _Such skill and judgment thrown away: + The time profusely squandered there + On vulgar arts, beneath thy care, + If well employed, at less expense, + Had taught thee Honor, Virtue, Sense; + And raised thee from a coachman's fate, + To govern men, and guide the state_." + +One seldom finds a nicer selection of words than those of the last lines +of these admonitory stanzas. With the wish that they may gratify your +literary acumen, I am, as ever, + + Your faithful friend, + HARRY LUNETTES. + + + + +LETTER VIII. + +LETTER-WRITING. + + +MY DEAR NEPHEWS: + +There is, perhaps, no form of composition with which it is as desirable +to be practically familiar, and in which all educated persons should be +accomplished, as that of _letter-writing_; yet no branch of an elegant +education is more frequently neglected. Consequently, the grossest +errors, and the utmost carelessness, are tolerated in regard to it. +Rhetorical faults, and even ungrammatical expressions, are constantly +overlooked, and illegibility has almost come to be regarded as an +essential characteristic. + +Following the homely rule of the lightning-tamer, that "_nothing is +worth doing at all that is not worth doing well_," you will not need +argument to convince you of the propriety of attention to this subject, +while forming habits of life. + +Different occasions and subjects require, of course, as various styles +of epistolary composition. Thus the laconic language adapted to a formal +business letter, would be wholly unsuited to one of friendship; and the +playfulness that might be appropriate in a congratulatory +communication, would be quite out of place in a letter of condolence. + +While it is impossible that any general rules can be laid down that will +be always applicable in individual cases, a few directions of universal +application may, not inappropriately, be introduced in connection with +our present purpose. + +The principal requisites of _Letters of Business_ are, +_intelligibility_, _legibility_, and _brevity_. To secure the first of +these essentials, a clear, concise, expressive selection of language is +required. Each word and sentence should express _exactly_ and +_unequivocally_ the idea intended to be conveyed, and in _characters_ +that will not obscure the sense by doubtful _legibility_. A legible hand +should certainly be as essential as intelligible utterance. We pity the +man who by stammering, or stuttering, not only taxes the time and +patience of his hearers, but leaves them, at times, uncertain of his +meaning, despite their efforts to comprehend him. What, then, is the +misfortune of those who, like the most genial of wits, 'decline to read +their own writing, after it is twenty-four hours old!' Do not, I pray +you, let any absurd impression respecting the excusableness of this +defect, on the score that _genius is superior to the trifles of detail_, +etc., lead you either into carelessness or indifference on the subject. +Few men have the excuse of possessing the dangerous gift of genius, and +to affect the weaknesses by which it is sometimes accompanied, is +equally silly and contemptible. A man of sense will aim at attaining a +true standard of right, not at caricaturing a defective model. Depend +upon it, a _good business-hand_ is no small recommendation to young men +seeking employment in any of the occupations of life. The propriety of +_brevity_ in letters of business, will at once commend itself to your +attention. Time--the wealth of the busy--is thus saved for two parties. +But remember, I repeat, that, while this precious treasure is best +secured by expressing what you wish to communicate in as few words as +possible, nothing is gained by leaving your precise meaning doubtful, by +unauthorized abbreviations, confused sentences, or the omission of any +essential--as a date, address, proper signature, important question, or +item of information. Let me add, that _rapidity of mechanical execution_ +is of no mean importance in this regard. + +_Letters of Introduction_ should be so expressed as to afford the reader +a clue to the particular purpose of the bearer in desiring his +acquaintance, if any such there be. This will prevent the awkwardness of +a personal explanation, and furnish a convenient theme for the +commencement of a conversation between strangers. Thus, if it be simply +a friend, travelling in search of pleasure and general information, whom +you wish to commend to the general civilities of another friend, some +such form as the following will suffice: + + ---- ---- ---- + + MY DEAR SIR: + + Allow me the pleasure of introducing to you my friend, Mr. ---- + ----, a gentleman whose intelligence and acquirements render his + acquaintance an acquisition to all who are favored with his + society. Mr. ---- visits your city [or town, or part of the + country, or, your celebrated city, or, your enterprising town, or + your far-famed State, etc.] merely as an _observant traveller_. + Such attentions as it may be agreeable to you to render him will + oblige + + Your sincere friend, + and obedient servant, + ---- ----. + + To Hon. ---- ---- + +When you wish to write a letter of introduction for a person seeking a +situation in business, a place of residence, scientific information, or +the like; briefly, but distinctly, state this to your correspondent, +together with any circumstance creditable to the bearer, or which it +will be advantageous to him to have known, which you can safely venture +to avouch. (No one is in any degree bound by individual regard to impair +his reputation for probity or veracity in this, or any other respect.) + +A letter introducing an Artist, a Lecturer, etc., should contain some +allusion to the professional reputation of the bearer--thus: + + ---- ---- ---- + + MY DEAR WILLIAMSON: + + This will be presented to you by our distinguished countryman, Mr. + ---- ----, who proposes a brief visit to your enterprising city, + chiefly for professional purposes. It affords me great pleasure to + be the means of securing to friends whom I so highly value, the + gratification I feel assured you and Mr. ---- will derive from + knowing each other. + + With the best wishes for your mutual success and happiness, I am, + my dear sir, + + Very truly yours, + ---- ----. + + To ---- ----, Esq. + +In the instance of a celebrity, occupying at the time a space in the +world's eye, something like this will suffice: + + BOSTON, _August 1st, 1863_. + + MY DEAR FRIEND: + + It gives me pleasure to present to your acquaintance a gentleman + from whose society you cannot fail to derive high enjoyment. Mr. + ---- [or the Hon. ----, or Gen. ----][8] needs no eulogy of mine + to render his reputation familiar to you, identified as it is with + the literature of our country [or the scientific fame, or the + eloquence of the pulpit, etc.] Commending my friend to your + courtesy, believe me, my dear Jones, + + Truly your friend and servant, + ---- ----. + Rev. ---- ----. + + [8] Always be scrupulously careful to give _titles_, and with + accuracy. The proper designation of a _gentleman_ not in office, + is--_Esquire_. (This, of course, should not be given to a tradesman, + or menial.) That of a judge, member of Congress, mayor of a city, + member of a State legislature, etc., etc., is--_Honorable_; that of a + clergyman--_Reverend_; that of a bishop--_Right Reverend_. You are, + of course, familiar with the proper _abbreviations_ for these titles. + In writing the address of a letter, it is desirable to know the + _Christian_ name of the person to whom it is to be directed. Thus, if + a physician, "Charles Jones, M. D.," is better than "Dr. Jones." So, + "Dr. De Lancey," or "Bishop Potter," are obviously improper. The + correct form to be used in this instance, is: + + "_To the "Right Rev. Alonzo Potter, D. D._" + + The proper address of a _Minister_ representing our government + abroad, is--"the Honorable ---- ----, Minister for the U.S. of + America, near the Court of St. James, or St. Cloud," etc. That of a + _Charge d'Affaires_, or Consul, etc., varies with their respective + offices. A _Charge d'Affaires_ is sometimes familiarly spoken of as + "_Our Charge_," at such a Court--or as the "_American Charge_." + + A clergyman may be addressed as "_Rev. Mr._ ----," if you do not know + the first name, or _initial_, and so may a doctor of divinity; but in + the latter case it would, perhaps, be better to write--"Rev. Dr. + James,"--though the more accurate mode will still be, if attainable, + "Rev. William James, D.D." + + Gentlemen of the Army and Navy should always be designated by their + proper titles, and it is well not to be ignorant that a man in either + of these professions, when + + "He hath got his sword ... + And seems to know the use on't," + + may not like to be reminded that the _slow promotion_ he has attained + is _unknown to his friends_! + +Letters of introduction should always be _unsealed_, and, as a rule, +should relate only to the affairs of the bearer, not even passingly to +those of the writer or his correspondent. When it is desirable to write +what cannot, for any reason, be properly introduced into the open +letter, a separate and _sealed_ communication may be written and sent, +with a polite apology, or brief explanation, with the other. + +When letters of introduction are delivered in person, they should be +sent by the servant who admits you, together with your card, to the lady +or gentleman to whom they are addressed, as the most convenient mode of +announcing yourself, and the object of your visit. + +When you do not find the person you wish to see, write your _temporary +address_ upon your card, as "At the American Hotel"--"With Mrs. Henry, +22 Washington-st."--"At Hon. John Berkley's," etc. Should you _send_ +your letter, accompany it by your card and _present_ address, and +inclose both together in an envelope directed to the person for whom +they are designed. When your stay is limited and brief, it is suitable +to add upon your card, together with an accurate _date_--"For to-day," +or, "To remain but two or three days." And in case of any explanation, +or apology, or request being requisite, such as you would have made in a +_personal_ interview, write _a note_, to be inclosed with the letter of +presentation. Every omission of these courtesies that may occasion +trouble, or inconvenience to others, is ill-bred, and may easily serve +to prejudice strangers against you. + +Sometimes it is well to make an appointment through the card you leave, +or send, with a letter, or for a stranger whom you wish to meet, as--"At +the Globe Hotel, _this evening_," with a date, or thus--"Will pay his +respects to Mrs. ----, to-morrow morning, with her permission." + +A letter introducing a young man, still "unknown to fame," to a lady of +fashion, or of distinguished social position, may be expressed somewhat +in this manner: + + _To + Mrs. Modish,[9] + No. 14 Belgrave Place, + Charleston, S. C._ + + ASTOR HOUSE, NEW YORK, _Jan. 27th, 1863_. + + DEAR MADAM: + + Permit me to present to you my friend, Mr. James Stuart--a + gentleman whose polished manners and irreproachable character + embolden me to request for him the honor of an acquaintance with + even so fastidious and accomplished an arbiter of fashion as + yourself. + + Mr. Stuart will be able to give you all the information you may + desire respecting our mutual friends and acquaintances in society + here. + + Do me the honor to make my very respectful compliments to the + Misses Modish, and to believe me, dear madam, + + Most respectfully, + Your friend and servant, + ROBERT B. HAWKS. + + MRS. MODISH. + + [9] It is etiquette to address communications to a lady according to + the style she adopts for _her card_. Thus, the elder of two married + ladies, bearing the same name and of the same family, may properly + designate herself simply as Mrs. ----, without any Christian name + (her position in society and the addition upon her card, of her + _locale_ being supposed sufficient to identify her). The wives of her + youngest brother, or those of her sons, are then "Mrs. N. C. ----," + "Mrs. Charles ----," and so on. The eldest of a family of sisters is, + "Miss ----," the younger are "Miss Nellie ----," "Miss Julia ----," + etc. In writing to, or conversing with them, you thus individualize + them. But when you are upon ceremonious terms with them, _in the + absence of the elder,_ you address one of the younger sisters, with + whom you are conversing, as "Miss ----," only, omitting the + individualizing Christian name. Of course, when writing under such + circumstances, a note of ceremony designed for the young ladies of a + family, collectively, should be addressed to "_The Misses_ ----;" and + if for one of them, alone, to "Miss ----," or, "Miss Mary G. ----," + as the case may be. + +Letters presenting _foreigners_, should designate the country and +particular locality to which they belong, as well as the purpose of +their tour, as--"The Chevalier Bonne, of Berne, Switzerland whose object +in visiting our young Republic is not only the wish to compare our +social and political institutions with those of his own country, but the +collection of _specimens_ and _information_ respecting the _Natural +History_ of the United States. Such assistance as you may be able to +render my learned friend, in facilitating his particular researches, +will confer a favor upon me, my dear sir, which I shall ever gratefully +remember," etc., etc. + +The subject of letters of introduction naturally suggests that of +_personal introductions_, in relation to which the grossest mistakes and +the greatest carelessness are prevalent, even among well-bred people. + +In making persons acquainted with each other, the form of words may vary +almost with every different occasion, but there are certain rules that +should never be overlooked, since they refer to considerations of +abstract propriety. + +Younger persons and inferiors in social rank, should, almost invariably, +be _presented to_ their seniors and superiors. Thus, one should not +say--"Mr. Smith, let me introduce Mr. Washington Irving to you," but +"Mr. Irving, will you allow me to introduce Mr. John Smith to you?" Or, +"Permit me to present Mr. Smith to you, sir," presupposing that Mr. +Smith does not need to be informed to whom he is about to be introduced. +It is difficult to express upon paper the difference of signification +conveyed by the mode of _intonating_ a sentence. "General Scott, Mr. +Jones," may be so pronounced as to present the latter gentlemen to our +distinguished countryman, in a simple, but admissible manner, or it may +illustrate the impropriety of naming a man of mark to a person who makes +no pretensions to social equality with him. + +Usually, men should be introduced to women, upon the principle that +precedence is always yielded to the latter; but, even in this case, an +exception may properly be made in the instance of an introduction +between a _very young_, or, otherwise, wholly unindividualized woman, +and a man of high position, or of venerable age. A half-playful +variation from the ordinary phraseology of this ceremony, may sometimes +be adopted, under such circumstances, with good taste, as--"This young +lady desires the pleasure of knowing you, sir--Miss Williams," or, "Mr. +Prescott, this is my niece, Miss Ada Byron Robinson." + +When there is a "distinction without a difference" between two persons, +or when hospitality interdicts your assuming to decide a nice point in +this regard, it may be waived by merely _naming_ the parties in such a +way as to give precedence to neither--thus: "Gentlemen, allow me--Mr. +W----, Mr. V----," or, "Gentlemen, allow me the pleasure of making you +known to each other," and then simply pronounce the names of the two +persons. + +By the way, let me call your attention to the importance of an _audible_ +and _distinct_ enunciation of _names_, when assuming to make an +introduction. A _quiet, self-possessed manner_, and _intelligibility_ +should be regarded as essential at such times. + +When introducing persons who are necessarily wholly unacquainted with +each other's antecedents of station or circumstance, it is eminently +proper to add a brief explanation, as--"Mr. Preudhomne, let me introduce +my brother-in-law, General Peters,--Mr. Preudhomne, of Paris," or; "Mrs. +Blandon, with your permission, I will present to you Senor Abenno, a +Spanish gentleman. Senor A. speaks French perfectly, but is unacquainted +with our language;" or, "Mr. Smithson, this is my friend Mr. Brown, of +Philadelphia--like ourselves, _a merchant_;" or, "My dear, this is +Captain Blevin, of the good ship Neversink,--Mrs. Nephews, sir." + +Never say "My wife," or "My daughter," or "My sister," "My +father-in-law," or the like, without giving each their proper +ceremonious title. How should a stranger know whether your "daughter" +is-- + + "Sole daughter of your house and heart," + +or Miss "Lucy," or "Belinda," the third or fourth in the order of time, +and, consequently, of precedence, or what may chance to be the name of +your father-in-law, or half-sister, etc., etc. + +Well-bred people address each other by name, when conversing, and hence +the awkwardness occasioned by this vulgar habit, which is only equalled +by that of speaking of your wife as "My wife,"[10] or worse still, "_my +lady!_" Is it not enough, when your friends know that you are married, +and are perfectly familiar with your own name, to speak of "Mrs. ----," +and to introduce them to the mistress of your house by that designation? + +It is a solecism in good manners to suppose it unsuitable to designate +the members of your own family by their proper titles under all +circumstances that would render it suitable and convenient to do so in +the instance of other persons. Never fall into the _American_ +peculiarity on this point, I entreat you. Say--"My father, Dr. V----," +or "My sister, Miss V----," "Mrs. Col. V----, my sister-in-law," or, "My +sister, Mrs. John Jenkins," with as scrupulous a regard for rank and +precedence, as though dealing with strangers. Indeed, you virtually +_ignore all personal considerations_, while acting in a social relation +merely. + + [10] This reminds me of another habit that is becoming prevalent in + this _new_ land of ours--that of men's entering themselves upon the + Registers of Hotels, Ocean Steamers, etc., as "M. A. Timeson and + _lady_!" or, "Mr. G. Simpson and _wife_." What can possibly be the + objection to the good old established form of "Mr. and Mrs. M. A. + Timeson," or "George and Mrs. Simpson," or "Mr. G. Simpson. Mrs. and + the Misses Simpson?" + +The rules of etiquette very properly interdict _indiscriminate +introductions_ in general society. No one has a right to thrust the +acquaintance of persons upon each other without their permission, or, at +least, without some assurance that it will be agreeable to them to know +each other. Strangers meeting at the house of a mutual friend, in a +morning visit, or the like, converse with each other, or join in the +general conversation without an introduction, which it is not usual +among fashionable people to give under such circumstances. If you wish +to present a gentleman of your acquaintance to a lady, you first ask her +permission, either in person or by note, to take him to her house, if +she be married, or to do so at a party, etc., where you may chance to +meet her. In the instance of a very young lady, propriety demands your +obtaining the consent of one of her parents before adding to her list of +male acquaintances, unless you are upon such terms of intimacy with her +family and herself, as to render this superfluous; and so with all your +friends. It is better, however, even where unceremoniousness is +admissible, to err upon the safer side. + +Among men, greater license may be taken; but, _as a rule_, I repeat, +persons are _not_ introduced in the street, in pump-rooms, in the public +parlors of hotels, or watering-places, meeting incidentally at +receptions or at morning visits, etc.; and not even when they are your +guests at large dinners, or soirees, without their previous assent or +request. + +Of course, such rules, like all the laws of convention, are established +and followed for convenience, and should not be regarded, like those of +the Medes and Persians, as unchangeable. Good sense and good feeling +will vary them with the changes of circumstance. No amiable person, for +instance, will hesitate to set them aside for the observance of the more +imperative law of kindness, when associated with those who are ignorant +of their existence (as many really excellent persons are), and would be +pained by their strict observance. Neither should the most punctilious +sticklers for form think it necessary to make a parade of the mere +letter of such rules, at any time. It is the spirit we want, for the +promotion of social convenience and propriety. + +Perhaps it may be as well in this connection as in any other, to say a +word about the matter of _visiting cards_. + +Fashion sanctions a variety of forms for this necessary appendage. In +Europe, it is very common to affix the professional or political title +to the name, as "---- ----, Professor in the University of Heidelburg," +or, "---- ----, Conseiller d'Etat,"; and an Englishman in public life +often has on his card the cabalistic characters--"In H.M.S."--(in Her +Majesty's Service). Among the best-bred Americans, I think the prevalent +usage is to adopt the _simple signature_, as "Henry Wise," or to prefix +the title of Mr., as "Mr. Seward." Sometimes,--particularly for cards to +be used away from home--the place of residence is also engraved in one +corner below the name.[11] + + [11] Persons belonging to the Army and Navy use their full titles, with + the addition of "U.S.A.," or "U.S.N." + +Europeans occasionally adopt the practice of having the corners of the +reverse side of their cards engraven across with such convenient words +as "_Pour dire Adieu_" (to say good bye). "_Congratulation_" (to offer +congratulations). "_Pour affaire_" (on an errand, or on business). +"_Arrive_" (tantamount to "_in town_"). The appropriate corner is turned +over, as occasion requires, and the sentence is thus brought into notice +on the _same side with the name_. + +_Business cards_ should never be used in social life, nor should +flourishes, ornamental devices, or generally unintelligible characters +be employed. A smooth, _white_ card, of moderate size, with a plain, +legible inscription of the name, is in unexceptionable taste and _ton_, +suitable for all occasions, and sufficient for all purposes, with the +addition, when circumstances require it, of a pencilled word or +sentence. But to return to our main subject. + +_Letters of Recommendation_ partake of the general character of those of +introduction. It is sufficient to add, in regard to them, that they +should be _conscientiously_ expressed. All that can be truthfully said +for the advantage of the bearer, should be included; but, as I have +before remarked, no one is obliged to compromise his own integrity to +advance the interests of others in this manner, more than in any other. + +_Letters of Condolence_ require great care and delicacy of composition. +They should relate chiefly, as a rule, to the subject by which they are +elicited, and express _sympathy_ rather than aim at _administering +consolation_. No general directions can be made to embrace the +peculiarities of circumstance in this regard. Suffice it to say that the +inspiration of genuine feeling will dictate rather expressions of kindly +interest for the sufferer you address, of respect and regard for a +departed friend, or an appreciation of the magnitude of the misfortune +you deplore, rather than coldly polished sentences and prolonged +reference to one's self. + +_Letters of Congratulation_ should embody cheerfulness and cordiality of +sentiment, and be at an equal remove from an exaggeration of style, +suggesting the idea of insincerity or of covert ridicule, and from +chilling politeness, or indications of indifference. To "rejoice with +those who rejoice" is indeed a pleasing and easy task for those who are +blessed with a genial nature, and enrich themselves by partaking in the +good fortune of others. Letters expressing this pleasure admit of a +little more egotism than is sanctioned by decorum in some other cases. +One may be allowed to allude to one's own feelings when so pleasurably +associated with those of one's correspondent. + +_Brevity_ is quite admissible in letters both of condolence and +felicitation--referring, as they properly do, chiefly to _one topic_; it +is in better taste not to introduce extraneous matter into them, +especially when they are of a merely ceremonious nature. + +_Letters to Superiors in Station or Age_ demand a respectful and laconic +style. No familiarity of address, no colloquialisms, pleasantries, or +digressions, are admissible in them. They should be commenced with a +ceremoniously-respectful address carefully and concisely expressed, and +concluded with an elaborate formula, of established phraseology. The +name of the person to whom they are written should be placed near the +lower, left hand edge of the sheet, together with his ceremonious title, +etc. No abbreviations of words--and none of titles, unsanctioned by +established usage, should be introduced into such letters, and they +should bear at the commencement, below the date, and on the left hand +side of the paper, the name of the person addressed, thus: + + WASHINGTON CITY, _Feb. 2d, 1863_. + HONORABLE EDWARD EVERETT:-- + + SIR, + + * * * * * + + * * * * * + + I am, sir, + Very respectfully, + Your humble servant, + J. F. CARPENTER. + + HON. EDWARD EVERETT, + Secretary of State, for the U. S. + +Be careful to remember that it is unsuitable to commence a communication +to an _entire stranger_ an official letter, or one of ceremony, in reply +to a gentleman acting in the name of a committee, etc., etc., with "Dear +Sir." This familiarity is wholly out of place under such circumstances, +and it is matter of surprise that our public men so frequently fall into +it, even in addressing public functionaries representing foreign +countries here, etc. In this respect, as in many others, their +"quality," as that most discerning satirist, _Punch_, has recently said +of the style of one of our men in high office--is not "_strained_!" The +veterans of Diplomatic or of Congressional life should let us see that +practice has refined their style of speaking and writing, rather than +remind us that they have come to the _lees_ of intellect! + +I have, for several years past, remarked the published letters of one of +the distinguished men of the Empire State, as models of graceful +rhetoric and good taste. I refer now, not to the political opinions they +may have expressed, but to their _literary execution_. They indicate the +pen of genius--no matter what the occasion--whether declining to break +ground for a canal, to lay the corner-stone of a university, +acknowledging a public serenade, or expounding a political dogma, a +certain indescribable something always redeems them alike from +common-place ideas, and from inelegance of language. See if your +newspaper profundity will enable you to "guess" the name of the +individual to whom I refer. + +_Diplomatic Letters_ require a style peculiar to themselves, in relation +to which it would be the height of temerity in me to adventure even a +hint. The Public Documents of our own country and of England, afford +models for those of you who shall have occasion for them, as members of +the "Corps Diplomatique." + +_Letters of Friendship and Affection_ must, of course, vary in style +with the occasions and the correspondents that elicit them. A light, +easy, playful style is most appropriate. And one should aim rather at +correctness of diction than at anything like an elaborate parade of +language. + +_Grammatical inaccuracies_ and _vulgarisms_ are _never_ allowable among +educated people, whether in speaking or writing; nor is _defective +spelling_ excusable. + +_Punctuation_ and attention to the general rules of composition should +not be overlooked, as thus only can unmistakable intelligibleness be +secured. + +Avoid all ambitious pen-flourishes, and attempts at ornamental +caligraphy, and aim at the acquisition of a legible, neat, +gentleman-like hand, and a pure, manly, expressive style, in this most +essential of all forms of composition. + +The possession of excellence in this accomplishment will enable you to +disseminate high social and domestic pleasure. Nothing affords so +gratifying a solace to friends, when separated, as the reception of +those tokens of remembrance and regard. They only who have wandered far, +far away from the ties of country, friends, and home, can fully +appreciate the delight afforded by the reception of letters of a +satisfactory character. And the welcome assurances of the safety, +health, and happiness of the absent and loved, is the best consolation +of home-friends. + +_Practice_, _patience_, and _tact_, are equally essential to the +acquisition of ease and grace in this desirable art. _Wit_, _humor_, and +_playfulness_ are its proper embellishments, and _variety_ should +characterize its themes. A certain _egotism_, too, is not only +pardonable, but absolutely requisite, and may even become delicately +complimentary to the recipient of one's confidence. + +Let me remind you, too, that--though "offence of _spoken_ words" may be +excused by the excitement of passing feeling--the deliberate commission +of unkind, or, worse still, of unjust, untruthful, injurious language, +to paper, argues an obliquity of moral vision little likely to secure +the writer either + + "What nothing earthly gives, or can destroy, + The _soul's calm sunshine_," + +or the respect and regard of others. + +Facility in writing familiar letters may be increased by the habit of +_mentally_ recording, before inditing them, as opportunity affords +material, such incidents of travel, items of personal interest, or +gossiping intelligence, etc., as may be thought best suited to the +tastes of your correspondents. And it is well, before closing such +communications, not only to glance over them to satisfy yourself of +their freedom from mistakes, but by that means to recall any omission +occasioned by forgetfulness. + +Notes of _Invitation_, of _Acceptance_, and _Regret_, require, of +course, brevity and simplicity of expression. The _prevailing mode_ of +the society you are connected with, is usually the proper guide in +relation to these matters of form, for the time being. Thus the mere +formula of social life at Washington, Boston, Charleston, Paris, or St. +Petersburg, may be somewhat varied, as _usage_ alone frequently +determines these niceties, and all eccentricities and peculiarities in +this respect, as in most others, are in bad taste. Cards, or Notes, of +Invitation to Dinners and Soirees, are frequently printed, and merely +names and dates supplied in writing. The example of the _best society_ +(in the most elevated sense of that much-abused phrase) everywhere, +sanctions only the most unpretending mode of expression and general +style, for such occasions. The utmost beauty and exquisiteness of finish +in the mere _material_, but the absence of all pretentious ornament, is +thought most unexceptionable. + +_Invitations to Dinner_ should be acknowledged at your earliest +convenience, and--whether accepted or declined--in courteously +ceremonious phraseology. In the instance of invitations[12] to Balls and +Evening-Parties, Weddings, etc., haste is not so essential; but a +seasonable reply to such civilities should by no means be neglected. + + [12] I was somewhat surprised lately, in perusing an agreeable novel, + written by one of our countrywomen, to observe her use of the word + "_ticket_" as synonymous with _invitation_, or _card of invitation_. A + "_ticket_" admits one to a concert, the opera, or theatre but one + receives an "_invitation_," or "_card of invitation_" to a dinner, + ball, or evening-party, at a friend's house. All misnomers of this kind + savor of under-breeding--they are _vulgarisms_, in short, unsanctioned + either by taste or fashion. + +When you wish to take a friend--who is a stranger to the hostess--with +you to an evening entertainment, and are upon sufficiently established +terms with her to make it quite proper to do so, acknowledge your +invitation at once, and request permission to take your friend--thus +affording an opportunity, if it is requisite, for the return of an +invitation enclosed to you for your proposed companion. Some form like +the following will answer the purpose: + + Mr. Thomas Brown has the honor to accept Mrs. Mason's very polite + invitation for next Thursday evening. + + With Mrs. Mason's permission, Mr. Brown will be accompanied by his + friend, Mr. Crawford, of Cincinnati, who is at present temporarily + in New York. + + CARLTON HOUSE, + _Monday morning, December 28th_. + +Among intimate friends, it is sometimes most courteous, when _declining +an invitation_, in place of a mere formal "regret" to indite a less +ceremonious note, briefly explanatory, or apologetic. _Essential +good-breeding_ is the best guide in these occasional deviations from +ceremonious rules. + +Formal notes of invitation, and the like, should not be addressed to +several persons inclusively. Of course, a gentleman and his wife are +invited in this inclusive way, as are the unmarried sisters of a family, +when residing in the same house; but visitors to one's friends, a +married lady and her daughters, as well as the younger gentlemen of a +family, should, severally, have separate notes, directed to them +individually, where ceremony is requisite, though all may, for +convenience, be enclosed in the same envelope, with a general direction +to the elder lady of the house. + +Letters, or notes, commenced in the _third person_, should be continued +throughout in the same form. It is obviously incorrect (though of +frequent occurrence), to adopt such phraseology as--"Mr. Small presents +his compliments to Miss Jones," etc., and to conclude with "Yours +respectfully, G. Small." This mode of expression (the third person), is +only adapted to brief communications of a formal nature. No _address and +signature_ are required when the names of the recipient and of the +writer are introduced into the body of the note, as they necessarily +are. The place of residence (if written), and the date, are placed at +the left hand side of the paper, _below_ the principal contents. + +Letters designed to be mailed--such as are written to persons living at +a distance from your own place of residence--should have your proper +_mail address_ legibly written on the right hand side of your sheet, +_above_ the rest of the communication, together with the date. + +Notes addressed to persons residing in the same place with yourself, +require only the name of the street you reside in, and your number, with +the _day of the week_--as "Clinton Place, Thursday P. M.," or, "No. 6 +Great Jones St., Monday morning"--which is usually placed below the +other portions of the missive. It is usual to write _short notes of +ceremony_ so as to have the few lines composing them in _the middle_ of +the small sheet used. + +Forms of signature and address vary in accordance with the general tenor +of letters. When they are of an entirely ceremonious character, or +addressed to superiors, usage requires an elaborate address and +subscription; but the style of familiar epistles permits throughout +every variety of language that good taste and good feeling may invent or +sanction. Only let there be a general harmony in your compositions. Do +not fall into the inadvertency of the person who addressed a missive +full of the most tender expressions of regard to his mistress, and +signed it--"Yours respectfully, Clark, Smith & Co." + +_Legibility_, _Intelligibility_, and _Accuracy_ are requisite in the +_direction_ of all epistolary compositions. + +Correct taste demands some attention to the subject of +_Writing-Materials_. It is now becoming the practice to use small-sized +paper for communications of ceremony and friendship, continuing the +contents through several sheets, if necessary, and numbering each in +proper succession. It is, also, usual to write ceremonious letters on +but one side of a sheet, and to leave a wide margin upon the left hand +side, and a narrower one on the opposite edge of the paper. + +The finest, smoothest paper should always be used, except for mere +business matters; and, though some passing fashion may sanction tinted +paper, pure white is always unexceptionable. All fancy ornaments, +colored designs, etc., etc., are in questionable taste. If ornamental +bordering, or initial lettering is adopted, the most chaste and +unpretending should be preferred. + +Except for _mailing_, envelopes should correspond exactly with the sheet +inclosed. Envelopes sent by post should be strong and large-sized. +Sometimes it is well to re-enclose a small envelope, corresponding with +the written sheet, in a large, firm cover, and to write the full +direction upon that. + +Sealing wax should always be used for closing all epistles, except those +of an entirely business nature. _Stamps_ and _seals_ may vary with +taste. A plain form with an unbroken face, suffices; or initials, a +device and motto, one or both; or hereditary heraldic designs may be +preferred. + +Letters intended to go by mail on the continent of Europe, should be +written on a single, large sheet of _thin_ paper, and _not enveloped_. + +_It is as ill-bred not to reply to a communication requiring an +acknowledgment, or to neglect proper attention to all the several +matters of importance to which it relates, as it is not to answer a +question directly and personally addressed to you._ + +_Promptitude_ is also demanded by good-breeding, in this regard. +Necessity only can excuse the impoliteness of subjecting a friend, or +business-correspondent, to inconvenience or anxiety, occasioned by delay +in replying to important letters. + +Tyros in epistolary composition may derive advantage from noting the +peculiar excellences of the published letters of celebrated authors and +others; not for the purpose of servile imitation, but as affording +useful general models, or guides. Miscellaneous readers may note the +genial humor and patient elaborateness characterizing the letters of the +"Great Unknown," the felicities of expression sometimes observable in +the familiar missives of Byron, and of his friend Tom Moore (when the +latter is not writing to his much-put-upon London publisher for +table-supplies, etc.!) amuse himself with the gossiping capacity for +details exhibited by those of Horace Walpole, and con, with wondering +admiration, the epistolary illustrations of the well-disciplined, +thoroughly-balanced character of the great American model, of whose +writings it may always be said--whether an "order," written on a +drum-head, or the draught of a document involving the interests of all +humanity is the subject--that they are "_well done_." + +Among the collections of letters I remember to have read, none now occur +to me as offering more variety of style than those included in the +"Memoirs of H. More." They are a little old-fashioned now, perhaps; but +some of them, both for matter and manner, are, in their way, unsurpassed +in English literature. Some of those of _Sir W. W. Pepys_, I recollect +as peculiarly pleasing. + +Several of the published letters of Dr. Johnson, and one or two of those +of our own Franklin, are to be regarded as among the curiosities of +literature, rather than as precedents which circumstances will ever +render available, or desirable. Johnson's celebrated letter to Lord +Chesterfield, declining his proffered patronage, for instance--and +Franklin's, concluding with the witty sarcasm-- + + "You are now my enemy, and I am + + "Yours, + B. FRANKLIN." + +At some future time, perhaps, the literary treasures of our country will +be enriched by specimens of the correspondence of such of our +contemporaries as inspire the highest admiration for their general style +of composition. Who could fail to peruse with interest, letters from the +pen of Prescott, who never makes even such a physical infirmity as his, +a plea for inaccuracy, or carelessness of expression? And who would not +hail with delight any draught presented by the bounteous hand of Irving, +from, + + "The well of English undefiled," + +whence he himself has long quaffed the highest inspiration! + + * * * * * + +"There they are!" shouted James. + +"Here they come!" exclaimed Miss Mary Marston. + +"They have made good time, the lazy dogs, for once!" said I. + +"Oh, I'm so glad!" echoed the silvery cadences of Nettie Brown, who +seemed about to dance to the music of her own merry voice. + +"I hope"----began the dove-like murmur of a fair invalid: she ceased, +and her dewy eyes told all she would have said. + +"God grant us good news!" said our venerable _compagnon de voyage_, +fervently, a shade of anxiety clouding his usually benignant +countenance. + +"Ladies, excuse me! I beg you to remember that they may not bring +anything--let me prepare you for a disappointment!" These words were +uttered, with apparent reluctance, by a young man, whose pale face and +dark melancholy eyes seemed to lend almost prophetic emphasis to his +warning tones. + +Nettie ceased to clap her little hands; "Jovial James" looked as grave +as his usually rollicking, fun-twinkling eyes permitted; the stately +Mary could only look fixedly towards the approaching Arabs, the serenity +of our patriarchal friend was more than ever disturbed; sweet Isidore +grew marble pale, and leaned heavily back upon the sculptured pillar +against which we had secured her camp-seat, and your uncle Hal--well! +he is a "proverbial philosopher," you know! + +There we were, amid the solemn magnificence of the ruined palaces and +temples of once-mighty Thebes. + +Our little party was gathered in front of the great Propylon of the +famous Temple of Luxor, whose mysterious grandeur we had come many +thousands of miles to behold. Massive pillars, covered with +minutely-finished picture-writing and mystic hieroglyphics, sufficient +for the life-long study of the curious student; enormous architraves, +half-buried colossi, far-reaching colonnades, "grand, gloomy and +peculiar;" the world-famed Memnon; the grim, tomb-hallowed +mountains--all the wonders of the Nile, of _El Uksorein_, of Karnac, +surrounded us! + +But humiliating reflections upon the mutability of human greatness and +human power, the eager speculations of the disciples of Champollion, +sarcophagi and sculptured ceilings, and scarabaei and Sesostris, alike +sunk into matters of insignificance and indifference when compared with +the expectation of _Letters from Home_! + +That most amiable and hospitable of Mussulmans, Mustapha Aga, _the +traveller's friend_, had engaged the Sheik (heaven spare the mark!) of +one of the squalid Arab villages, whose mud walls cluster upon the roofs +of the grand halls and porticoes of ancient Thebes--reminding one of +_animalculoe_ by comparison--to accompany my servant and one or two +of our dusky satellites to a point in the vicinity, to which the +American and English consuls at Cairo had engaged to forward our +letters, etc. + +Our motley band of couriers was now seen advancing along the low bank of +the river, and all was eager anticipation and impatience. + +The ceremony of distribution was speedily accomplished, and an observer +of the scene, like our calm, silent host, the kindly Mustapha, might +almost read the contents of the different letters of the several members +of our little group reflected in the faces of each. + +"Jovial James" sunk down at once at the feet of the fair Nettie, who had +sacrilegiously seated herself upon the edge of an open sarcophagus, with +a lap full of treasures, before which her hoarded antiques--and she was +the most indefatigable _collector_ of our corps--relapsed again into the +nothingness from which her admiration had, for a time, redeemed them. +Something very much like a tear glistened in the bright eyes of the +frolicksome youth as he murmured, half-unconsciously "Mother," and +sunshine and shadow played in quick succession over the mirroring +features of the fair girl. + +The usually placid Mary Marston fairly turning her back upon us, beat a +retreat towards a prostrate column and half-concealed herself among its +crumbling fragments; and our sweet, fast-fading flower, for whose +comfort each vied with the other, the beautiful Isidore, clasped her +triple prizes between her slight palms, and folding them to her meek +bosom, lifted her soft eyes toward the heaven that looked alike on Egypt +and on her native land, and whispered "_Home!_ Oh, father take me +_Home_!" + +"Not one word does Frank say about _remittances_--the most important of +all subjects!" cried James, with his elbows on his knees, and a +half-filled sheet held out before him in both hands. "He is the most +provoking fellow!--just look, Nettie, how much blank paper, too, sent +all the way from Manhattan Island to Upper Egypt," he added, with a +serio-comic tap on the paper. + +"Good enough for you!" retorted his frequent tormentor; "you wouldn't +write from Rome to him, as I begged you to"---- + +"But, most amiable Miss _Consolation 'on a monument_, smiling at grief,' +don't you recollect that _you_ favored him with three 'great big' +sheets, crammed, crossed, and kissed"---- + +"Do go away, James Wilson! you are a regular _squatter_, as they say at +home; really, if you are not established on my skirt!" laughed his merry +companion, reddening, however, at his skillful sally. + +James, well used to repulses, made not even a pretence of removing his +quarters; but, tracing with his forefinger in the sand, began to tease +his pretty neighbor for news from home, protesting that _men_ were the +poorest letter-writers, and that _his_ correspondents in particular, +_never said anything_! + +But what had become of the thoughtful friend whose warning voice had +checked too eager expectation in his companions, whilst + + ----"thou, oh Hope, with eyes so fair," + +made wild tumult in each eager breast? I marked his face, as he stood +apart from the excited group gathered about the bearer of our +dispatches. It was almost as immobile and coldly calm as those of the +polished colossi around us, save for the burning eyes that seemed +actually to devour the several directions that were glanced over, or +read aloud by others. His hands, too, were tightly clutched, as though +he were thus self-sustained.--Poor fellow! I had frequently noticed his +manner before, where the happiness of others arrested attention; it +indicated, to me, a serenity like that of the expiring hero who waved +his life-draught to another, hiding, with a smile, the outward signs of +tortured nature! Almost before the last package was unfolded, he was +advancing with rapid strides along the majestic avenue leading from our +stand-point towards the ruins of Karnac, and was soon lost to sight amid +its massive ornaments. How easily might some friendly hand have shed +balm upon his sad and solitary spirit, on that memorable day in far-off +Nile-Land, when so many hearts were gladdened with the sweet sunlight +enkindled by _letters_!--so many faces illumined with smiles reflected +from the ever-glowing altars of COUNTRY and HOME! + + * * * * * + +Sir Walter Scott, as his son-in-law informed me, despite the vast amount +of intellectual labor he otherwise imposed upon himself, with as little +flinching, apparently, as though his mind were a powerful +self-regulating steam-engine, had the habit of _always answering letters +on the day of their reception_! Mr. Lockhart told me that, during the +researches he made among the private papers of his immortal friend, +while preparing materials for his biography, he almost invariably +remarked, from the careful notations upon them, that when any delay had +occurred in replying to a letter, it arose from the necessity of some +previous investigation, or the like. My astonishment upon perusing the +long, elaborately-written epistles that Mr. Lockhart subsequently gave +to the world, was augmented by my knowledge of this fact, and by my +remembrance of the innumerable demands made upon his time by social and +public duties. But "we ne'er shall look on his like again!" Well might +his pen be styled the wand of the mighty Wizard of the North. + + * * * * * + +A gentle tap at the library-door interrupted the after-dinner chat of my +old friend and myself. A fair young face presented itself in answer to +the bidding of my host, and, upon seeing me was quickly withdrawn. + +"Come in, my daughter, come--what will you have?" + +I rose immediately to withdraw, as the young lady, thus encouraged, +somewhat timidly advanced towards her father. + +"Pray, do not disturb yourself, Colonel Lunettes," said she; "I only +want to speak to pa one moment; don't think of going away, I beg"---- + +My host, too, interposed to prevent my leaving the room, and I, +therefore, took up a book and re-seated myself. + +"Excuse me for interrupting you, pa, but may I"--here a whisper, and +then so audibly that I could not help overhearing--"do please, dear pa!" + +"Well, we'll see about it--when is the concert?" rang out the clear +voice of the father. + +"But, pa, I ought to answer the note to-night or very early to-morrow +morning--it would not be polite to keep Mr. Blakeman"---- + +"A note, eh?" interrupted the old gentleman, "let me see it--go bring it +to me." + +I thought I could not be mistaken in the indication of reluctance to +obey this direction evinced by the slow step of my usually +sprightly-motioned young favorite. + +"Come, Fanny, come," said her father, when she re-entered, "you have no +objection to showing _me_"---- + +"Oh, no, indeed, pa,--but you are so critical," the young lady began to +protest. + +"Critical! am I though!" exclaimed the parent, with some vivacity, +"perhaps so--at least I judge somewhat, of a man's claims to the +acquaintance of my daughter by these things." And, adjusting his +spectacles, he opened the note his daughter offered. "Bless my soul!" he +cried, at the first glance, "what bright-colored paper, and how many +grand flourishes--really, my dear!" There was a brief silence and then +the father said mildly, but firmly, "Fanny, I prefer that you should not +accept this invitation." + +"Will you tell me why, pa?" + +"Because the writer is not a _gentleman_! No man of taste and refinement +would write such a note as this to a lady, with whom he has only the +ceremonious acquaintance that this young man has with you. He is +evidently _illiterate_, too,--his note is not only inelegantly +expressed, but it is mis-spelled"---- + +"Oh, pa"---- + +"I assure you it is so. Your own education is more defective than it +should be with the advantages you have had, if you cannot perceive +this--read it again, and tell me what word is mis-spelled," said her +father, returning the production under discussion to Fanny. + +The young lady sat down by the lamp to con the task assigned her, and my +host said to me--"It is unpardonable, now-a-days, for a young man to be +ignorant in such matters as these. When _we_ were young, Hal, the means +of acquiring knowledge generally, were limited by circumstances; but who +that wishes, lacks them at present?--Well, my daughter"---- + +"Yes, pa, I see,--of course it was a mere slip of the pen"---- + +"A slip of the pen!" retorted the father, "and is that a sufficient +excuse? Proper respect will teach a young man of right feelings towards +your sex, to take good care that no such carelessness retains a place in +his first billet to a lady--it is an _indication of character_, my +child! Depend upon it, that the man who writes in this way,--encircling +some of his words with a flourish, abbreviating others, mis-spelling, +and all upon mottled paper, with a highly _ornate_ border, does not +understand himself, and will be guilty of other solecisms in good +manners and good taste, that will be very likely to embarrass and shock +a young lady accustomed to"---- + +"The society of _gentlemen of the old school_, like pa and Col. +Lunettes!" exclaimed Fanny, in her usual laughing manner, snatching up +the condemned missive, and flying out of the room. + +In the course of the evening, my old friend and I joined the ladies in +the drawing-room. + +A merry group around a centre-table, attracted me, and as the fair Fanny +made a place beside her agreeable little self for me, I was soon settled +to my satisfaction in the midst of the fair bevy. + +"What are you all so busy about?" I inquired, as I seated myself. + +"Oh, criticising!" cried one. + +"Acquiring knowledge under difficulties," replied another. + +"Accomplishing ourselves in the Art Epistolary, by the study of models!" +returned a third. + +And sure enough,--the table was strewed with cards, and notes, and an +empty fancy-basket told where these sportive critics had obtained their +materials. I soon gathered that the scrutiny Fanny's note had undergone +in the library, was the moving cause of this sudden resuscitation of +defunct billet-doux and forgotten cards. + +"Only look at this one, Col. Lunettes!" exclaimed a pretty girl opposite +me, handing across a visiting card, with the name written with ink, in +rather cramped characters, and surrounded with a variety of awkward +attempts at ornamental flourishes. "Isn't that sufficient to condemn the +perpetrator to 'durance vile' in the _paradise of fools_?" + +"Well, here is a beautiful note, at any rate," exclaimed the eldest +daughter of the house, "even papa would not find fault with this"-- + +"What are you saying about papa?" inquired the master of the mansion, +pausing in his walk up and down the room, and leaning upon the back of +his daughter's chair. + +"Won't you join us, sir?" returned the young lady, making a motion to +rise; "let me give you my seat." + +"No, no, sit still, child--let us hear the note that you think +unexceptionable." + +"It is as simple as possible," said she, "but though it only relates to +a matter of business, I remember noticing, when I opened it, the elegant +writing and"---- + +"Well, let us hear it, my daughter." + +Thus impelled, the fair reader began: + + "Henry Wynkoop presents his respectful compliments to Miss Campbell, + and begs leave to inform her that the goods for which she inquired, a + few days since, have arrived, and are now ready for her inspection. + + "240 MAIN ST., + _Wednesday Morning, May 22d._" + +"I should have said," added Miss Campbell, "that I had simply requested +Mr. Wynkoop to send me word about some shawls, when any of the family +happened in there, and did not think of troubling him to send a note." + +"Let me see," said her father, taking the paper from her hand, "yes! +just what one might expect from that young fellow--fine, handsome, plain +paper [a glance at poor Fanny] and a neat modest seal--all because _a +lady_ was in question; and one can read the writing as if it were print. +Look at it, Lunettes! A promising young merchant--a friend of ours, +here. An _educated_ merchant--what every man should be, who wishes to +succeed in mercantile life in this country." + +"Yes," returned I, "ours is destined, if I do not greatly mistake, to be +a land of _merchant princes_, like Venice of old, and I quite agree with +you that American merchants should be _educated gentlemen_!" + +"This young Wynkoop," continued my friend, "is destined yet to fill some +space in the world's eye, unless I have lost my power to judge of men. +He seems to find time for everything--the other evening he was +here--(the girls had some young friends)--and, happening to step into +the library, I found him standing with one of the book-cases open, and +just reaching down a volume--'I beg your pardon, sir, if I intrude,' +said he, 'but I was going to look for a passage in the "Deserted +Village," as I am not so fortunate as to possess a copy of Goldsmith.' +Of course I assured him that the books were all at his service, and +apologized for closing the door, and seating myself at my desk, saying +that a rascally Canadian lawyer had sent me a letter so badly written +that I could scarcely puzzle it out, and that his bad French was almost +unintelligible at that. I confess I was surprised when he offered to +assist me, saying very modestly, that nothing was more confusing than +_patois_ to the uninitiated, but that he had chanced to have some +experience in it. So he helped me out very cleverly, in spite of my +protestations at his losing so much time, and when he found he could not +aid me farther, looked up his lines, put back my book, and quietly +bowing, slipped out of the room. When I went back to the girls, later in +the evening, I heard my young friend singing with some lady, in a fine +clear voice, and, soon after, discovered him in another room dancing, +'_money musk_' with my own wife for his partner!" + +While this little sketch was in progress of narration, the inspection of +the miscellaneous display upon the table had been silently progressing. +And each pretty critic had made some discovery. + +"Here is a 'regret' sent for the other night," said Fanny, "what do you +think of that, Col. Lunettes?" And a large sheet of note paper was put +into my hand, clumsily folded, and containing only the words "Mr. +Augustus Simpkin regrets." + +"A good deal is left for the imagination," I replied, "regrets what?" + +"_That he is a numskull_, perhaps, but I fear there is not that +encouragement for his improvement!" broke in the Chairman of this +Committee of Investigation. + +The general laugh that followed this spicy comment had no sooner +subsided, than another note caught my eye, by its handsome penmanship. +Glancing it over, I handed it to one of the young ladies without +comment. She 'looked unutterable things,' as she quietly refolded the +missive, and was about to slip it out of sight; but the dancing eyes of +the lively Fanny had caught the whole movement, and she insisted upon +what she called _fair play_. So the paper was again subjected to +perusal--this time aloud. + + BALTIMORE, _July 24, '61_. + + "William Jones takes this means of making an apology for not calling + for Miss Mary last evening. I assure you no offence was intended, and + hope you did not take it so. + + "Yours affectionately, + "P. WILLIAM JONES. + + "The MISS CAMPBELLS." + +"How did that get into the card-basket?" exclaimed Miss Campbell, in +consternation, "it ought to have been destroyed at the time"---- + +"It has risen up in judgment against the writer now," said Fanny, "but +he is much improved since then. He knows better now than to say 'the +_Miss Campbells_', or"---- + +"Or sign himself 'Yours affectionately,' to a document commenced in the +third person. So he does, child, and he proved himself essentially +polite by writing the note--the hand is really very commendable. I have +no doubt the young man will yet acquire considerable _note-ability_!" +And throwing the tell-tale paper into the fire, the charitable +commentator proceeded in his walk. + +"_A propos_"--"_A propos_" was echoed round the merry circle, as a +servant handed a note to Miss Campbell. + +"Miss Fanny Campbell," read her sister, and resigned the billet to its +rightful owner. + +Every one protested that it should be common property, unless its +contents were a secret; and the blushing, half-pouting beauty was +constrained to open and inspect her note where she sat. + +"I insist upon _fair play_ in Miss Fanny's case, also," said I, coming +to the rescue, "and shall do myself the honor of acting as her +champion." With that I spread out her gossamer handkerchief, and +throwing it over the top of my cane, affected to screen the rosy face +beside me. Taking advantage of my _ruse_, my pretty favorite opened her +note, and, partly retreating behind my broad shoulder, soon possessed +herself of its contents. + +"There," said she, throwing it into the middle of the table, "you may +all read it and welcome!" + +Brown heads and black, sunny curls and chestnut "bands," were +immediately clustered together over the prize, and Fanny, springing +away, like a bird, was, in a moment, perched on an arm of the large +chair in which her father was now ensconced, with her arm around his +neck, and her beaming eyes glancing out from his snowy locks. + +"Let Colonel Lunettes see it, you rude creatures!" exclaimed my lively +favorite, from her retreat, and the note was immediately presented to +me. Wiping my glasses with deliberation suitable to the occasion, I +"pressed my hand upon my throbbing heart," and read as follows: + + "It will afford Mr. Howard Parkman great pleasure to attend Miss Fanny + Campbell to a Concert to be given by the "Hungarian Family," to-morrow + evening. + + "If she will permit him that honor, Mrs. and Miss Parkman, accompanied + by Mr. P., will call for Miss Campbell at half past seven o clock. + + "COLEMAN ST., + "_Tuesday P. M._" + +"That's another rival for you, Colonel Lunettes," exclaimed one of the +girls. + +"I fear my doom is sealed!" returned the old soldier thus addressed, +with an air of mock resignation. "But who is this formidable youth, Miss +Campbell?" + +"A Bostonian, I believe," replied the young lady; "cousin Charley +introduced him to us at Mrs. Gay's ball the other evening, and asked us +to call upon his mother and sister--they are friends of his. He was here +this morning with cousin Charley, but we were out." + +"How stylish!" said one of our critical circle, re-examining the elegant +billet of the stranger. + +"Quite _au fait_, too, you see, young ladies," I added, "he invites Miss +Fanny to go with a proper _chaperon_ to the concert, as he is so +slightly acquainted with her." + +As I limped across the room towards them, I heard my friend say to his +daughter, who still retained her seat, "certainly, unless you prefer to +go with Mr. Blakeman." + +"Oh, pa!" protested the sweet girl, "but what excuse shall I make to Mr. +Blakeman?" + +"Tell him, in terms, that your father does not permit you to go anywhere, +alone, with a young man with whom he has no acquaintance--Lunettes, +you're not going?" rising as he spoke. + +"It is high time--my carriage must be waiting. Miss Fanny, permit me the +privilege of an old friend,"--kissing her glowing cheek--and, as she +skipped out into the hall with her father and me, I whispered--"About +this young Bostonian? Is it all over with him?" + +"What, Hal--jealous?" exclaimed her father, laughing--"do you fear the +flight of our gazelle, here?" + +"No danger of my eloping! No, indeed! at least with any one +except--_Colonel Lunettes_!" replied the charming little witch, as her +nimble fingers fastened my wrappings. + +"Bravo!" cried her father; "that would be glorious! Seventeen and"---- + +"Eighty-two," interrupted your old uncle; "May and December! But, +happily for me, fair Fanny, _my heart_ can never grow old while I have +the happiness of knowing you." + + * * * * * + +I hope none of you will ever, even when writing in a foreign language, +fall into the mistake made by a young Pole, with whom I once had a +slight acquaintance. He was paying his addresses to a young lady, and, +while most assiduously making his court to the fair object of his +passion, was temporarily separated from her, by her leaving home on a +pleasure excursion. At the first stopping-place of her party, the lady +found a letter awaiting her, written in the neatest manner, and in +excellent English--which her lover _spoke_ in a _very_ imperfect manner. +It appeared to the recipient of this complimentary effusion, however, at +the first glance, that its contents were not especially relevant to the +occasion of a first _billet-doux_ from her admirer. Reading it more +deliberately, something familiar in the language struck her suddenly, +and after pondering a moment, she turned over the leaves of a new book +which was among the literary stores of our travelling-party, and soon +came to the exact counterpart of passage after passage, as recorded in +the letter of the gallant Pole! + +The volume was, I think, "Hannah More's Memoirs," which had probably +been recommended to the young student of our language by his teacher, or +some friend, as containing good _specimens of the epistolary style_! + + * * * * * + +With the hope that you may all escape being the subjects of such +merriment as was occasioned by the discovery of my fair friend, I remain, +as ever, + + Affectionately yours, + HARRY LUNETTES. + + + + +LETTER IX. + +ACCOMPLISHMENTS. + + +MY DEAR NEPHEWS: + +Though accomplishments are a very poor substitute for the more +substantial portions of a thorough education, no one should be so +indifferent to the embellishments of life as wholly to neglect their +cultivation. + +With Europeans some attention to this subject always makes part of a +thorough education, but among a _new people_, differing so essentially +from the nations of the Old World in social habits, the leisure and +inclination that induce such a system of early discipline are both still +wanting--speaking generally. It is not the lack of wealth--of that we +have enough--but of a cultivated, discriminating taste, the growth of +time and favoring circumstances, which is not yet diffused among us. +But, though our young men, even of the more favored class, do not enjoy +the carefully-elaborated system of early training, common abroad, +personal effort will produce a result similar in effect, if +well-directed and steadfastly pursued, and the best of all +knowledge--that most beneficial in its influence upon character--is +acquired by unaided individual exertion. Young Americans, above the men +of all other countries, should lack no incentive to add, as occasion may +permit, tasteful polish to the more essential solidity of mental +acquirements. + +I know of nothing better calculated to foster refinement and purity of +life than the cultivation of a _Taste_ for the _Fine Arts_. I do not +refer to a _dillettante_ affectation of familiarity with the +technicalities of artistic language, or to fashionable pretension and an +assumption of connoisseurship, but to honest, manly, aesthetical +perceptions, quickened and elevated by familiarity with the true +principles of Art, and by the study of the highest productions of +genius. + +Some knowledge of the practice, as well as of the principles of +_drawing_, is a very agreeable and useful accomplishment, and one that +may be acquired with little or no instruction, save that to be obtained +from books. + +Among the advantages collaterally arising from familiarity with this +art, is the increased quickness and enjoyment it lends to a _discernment +of the beautiful_ in nature, both in its minute manifestations and its +grand developments. A fondness for _sketching_ leads, also, to a +partiality for rural excursions, and for the physical sciences; and all +those tastes where the main purposes of life permit their indulgence, +serve to elevate, refine, and expand the higher faculties, to give them +habitual dominion over the propensities and to restrain sensuous +enjoyments within their legitimate limits. + +_A Taste for Music_ must, of course, be ranked among the elegances of +social life, but it should not be forgotten that a _practical knowledge_ +of any one branch of this Art has no direct effect to enlarge the mind, +like that of Painting, for instance. It is only a sensuous pleasure, +though a refined one, and is, as I have had frequent occasion to remark, +too frequently permitted to engross both time and faculties that should +properly be, in part, at least, more diffusively employed. Musical +skill, though a pleasant acquirement, is not a sufficient substitute for +an acquaintance with general Literature and Art; nor will its most +exquisite exhibitions always furnish an equivalent for intellectual +pleasures, whether of a personal or social nature. + +_Dancing_ should be early learned, not only because, like musical +knowledge, it is a source of social and domestic enjoyment, but as +materially assisting in the acquirement of an easy and graceful carriage +and manner. It is a good antidote, too, to _mauvaise honte_, and almost +essential among the minor accomplishments of a man of the world. + +_Riding_ and _Driving_ should never be neglected by those who possess +the means of becoming familiar with them. Convenience, health and +pleasure combine to recommend both. No indulgence of the _pride of +skill_, however, should be permitted to exalt these accessories of a +polite education into the main business of life, as I believe I have +before reminded you. + +The _broadsword exercise_, _pistol-shooting_, _athletic sports and +games_, _sporting_, _gymnastic exercises_, etc., etc., may be ranked +among the minor manly accomplishments with which it is desirable to be +familiar. + +Of no small importance, and of no insignificant rank as an +accomplishment, is a _ready and graceful elocution_. Possessed by +professional men, its value can scarcely be overrated, and no young man, +whatever his aims in life, should esteem it unworthy of attention, since +private as well as public life afford constant occasion for its +exercise. To read _intelligibly_, _audibly_, and _agreeably_, to speak +with taste and elegance, to address an audience--whether a mass +assemblage of the sovereign people, or the servants of the people, in +Congress assembled, or an intelligent audience gathered for intellectual +instruction and enjoyment, each require careful and persevering +practice, critical discrimination and disciplined taste. And what young +American--with that control of circumstances which especially +distinguishes us from all other peoples, with the high aspirations and +purposes to which all are equally entitled--shall say that he will not +have the most urgent occasion for, and derive high advantage from the +acquisition of the _Art of Elocution_? But, apart from considerations of +utility, correct speaking and writing are indispensable requisites to +the privileges of good society, and elegant polish in this respect is +the desirable result and certain indication of natural refinement. + +I will only add that elocutionary skill always affords the possessor the +means of promoting social and domestic enjoyment, and that the finest +sentiments and the most eloquent language lose half their proper effect +when uttered in a mumbling or muttering tone, as well as in too loud or +too low a voice. + +Closely allied to the accomplishment of which we have been speaking, is +that of _Conversational ease and elegance_, an art in which all other +nations are excelled by the French, and in which we, perhaps, most +successfully emulate them. + +Unfortunately for our social advancement in this respect, + + "_The well of English undefiled_" + +is not the only source from which the _vehicle of thought_ is derived. +The use of slang phrases, of crack words, even among the better educated +classes of society--and that in writing as well as in conversation--is +becoming noticeably prevalent. Nothing can be more detrimental to the +advancement of those who desire to acquire colloquial polish than the +habit of using this inelegant language, and there is nothing into which +one may glide more insensibly, when it becomes familiar from +association. + +You will, perhaps, say that the amusement afforded to others by the +occasional adoption of these mirth-provoking vulgarisms affords an +apology for their use; and that would be a legitimate excuse, did the +matter end there. But who can hope successfully to establish the line of +demarcation that shall separate the legitimate sphere of their +applicability from that in which they cannot properly claim a place? We +know how much we are all under the dominion of _habit_ in regard to the +artificial observances of life, and that once established, any practice +in which we indulge ourselves may manifest itself unconsciously to us. +Hence, then, it is no more safe to acquire the habit of interlarding our +discourse with inelegances of expression, ungrammatical language, +Yankeeisms, _localisms_ (to coin a word if it be not one, more +expressive here than _provincialisms_) or vulgarisms of any kind, than +to permit ourselves the perpetration of other solecisms in +good-breeding, with the protection only of a _mental limitation_ to +their undue encroachment upon our claims to refined associations. + +There is, therefore, no safe rule, except that dictating the unvarying +adoption of the _purest and most expressive idiomatic English_ we can +command. I remember to have heard it said of a celebrated +conversationist, whom I knew in my younger days, that he not only always +used a _good_ word to express his meaning, but the _very best_ word +afforded by our language. + +The habit of _thinking clearly_ might naturally be supposed to produce +the power of conveying ideas to others with distinctness, were not the +impression controverted by much evidence to the contrary. I must +believe, however, that the difference between persons, in this respect, +arises more frequently from want of attention to the subject, than from +all other causes combined. I know of no other way of sufficiently +explaining the awkward, slipshod, unsatisfactory mode of talking so +common even among educated people. Were we accustomed to regarding +conversational pleasures as among the highest enjoyments of existence, +and of making them a part of our daily life--as the French of all ranks +do--a vast difference would exist between what is, and what might be. +With what intensity of interest, with what vivacity of manner do the +polite and cultivated French _talk_! The _salons_ of the leaders of +_ton_ in Paris are nightly filled with the literati, the artists, the +soldiers and statesmen concentered in that brilliant capitol. And they +assemble not to eat, not even to dance, to the exclusion of all other +gratifications, but to _talk_--to exchange ideas upon topics and +incidents of passing interest--to receive and to communicate +instruction, as well as enjoyment. And even the common people--whether +eating their frugal evening repast at a little table placed in the +street, or seated in groups in the garden of the Tuileries--how they +talk! with what _abandon_--to use their own word--with what geniality, +with what sprightliness! The very children, sporting like so many birds +of gorgeous plumage, and musical tones, in the public gardens and +promenades, prattle of matters interesting to them, with a graceful +vivacity nowhere else to be seen. All classes give _themselves up to +it--take time for it_, as one of the necessities of daily life! But I +should apologize for this digression. + +The advantage of _habitual practice_, then, cannot be too highly +commended to those who would acquire colloquial skill. There is, also, +no better mode of fastening knowledge in the mind than by accustoming +one's self to clothing ideas in spoken language, and the mere attempt to +do so, gives distinctness to thought. + +But while fluency and ease are the results of practice, the +_embellishments_ of _conversation_ require careful culture. Wit, Humor, +Repartee, though to some extent natural gifts, may undoubtedly be +improved, if not attained, by artificial training. + +It is said that Sheridan, one of the most celebrated wits and +conversationists of his day, prepared himself for convivial occasions, +like an intellectual gladiator, ready to enter the lists in a valiant +struggle for supremacy. He may be said to have made Conversation a +_Profession_, to which he gave his whole attention, as did the +celebrated youth who exceeded all his fellows in the tie of his +neck-cloth, to that mysterious art! + +Sheridan's practice was, to make brief notes, before going into society, +of appropriate topics and witticisms for each occasion, upon which he +relied for sustaining his reputation as a boon companion and +accomplished talker. There is a good story told of his being +exceedingly nonplussed, on some important occasion, by having his +memoranda purloined by a friend, who, while waiting to accompany the wit +to an entertainment to which both were invited, stole his thunder from +his dressing-table, where it had been placed in readiness. The unlucky +literary Boanerges was as powerless as Jupiter robbed of his bolts! + +But if one would not desire preparation as elaborately artificial as +that ascribed to this spoiled fondling of English aristocracy, there +seems to be a propriety in making some mental, as well as external +arrangements before entering society. Thus, passingly to reflect, while +making one's toilet for such an occasion, upon the general character of +the company one is to meet, and upon the subjects most appropriate for +conversation with those with whom one will probably be individually +associated, may not be amiss. Nor will it be unwise to recall such +reminiscences of personal adventures, popular intelligence, etc., as the +day may have furnished. + +Happily, however, for those who distrust their power to surprise by +erudition, or delight by wit, _good-sense_, accompanied by _good-humor_ +and _courtesy_, render their possessors the most enduringly agreeable of +social and domestic companions. The _favorites of society_ are usually +those who wound no one's self-love, either by imposing upon others a +painful sense of inferiority, or by rudeness, impertinence, or +assumption. Few have sufficient magnanimity to _forgive superiority_, +but good-nature and politeness need no excuse with any. + + "Oh, let the ungentle spirit learn from hence, + _A small unkindness is a great offence_! + + * * * * * + + _All may shun the guilt of giving pain._" + +Wit, however racy, should never find a place in conversation when +pointed at the expense of another, and, indeed, _personalities_, even +when free from condemnation on this score, are usually in bad taste. +People of sensibility and refinement are much more likely to be annoyed +than gratified by being made the auditors of conversation, even when +politely intended, which brings them into especial notice. + +Hence, nothing requires more delicacy and tact than the _language of +compliment_, which should always be carefully distinguished from that of +mere flattery. The one is the expression of well-bred courtesy, the +other is oppressive and embarrassing to all rightly constituted persons, +and discreditable to the taste by which it is dictated. + +As a general rule, it is better to talk of things than of persons, and +William Penn's rule to "_say nothing of others, unless you can say +something good of them_," should have no exception. Let nothing tempt +you into the habit of indulging in gossip, scandal, and unmanly +puerility--not even a good-natured desire to assimilate yourself to the +companionship of temporary associates. In this respect, as in many +others, + + "Vice is a monster of such hideous mien, + As to be hated, needs but to be seen; + But seen too oft, familiar with her face, + We first endure, then pity, then embrace." + +No conscientiously-enlightened man can reflect for a moment upon the +heinousness of _slander_, or indeed of evil speaking when not allied +with falsehood, without abhorrence; and yet, how few can assume that, in +Heaven's High Chancery, there is no such dark record against them. + +Permit me to remind you that a mere difference of _intonation_ or of +_emphasis_, in repeating conversational remarks, will sometimes suffice +to convey a wholly erroneous impression to others, and that a mysterious +glance, a nod, a shrug, a smile, may be made equivalent to the "offense +of _spoken words_." + +I have recommended the adoption of good, pure English as the most +unexceptionable colloquial coin. Recurring to this point, let me express +the opinion that the most pretentious, or erudite language, is not +always that best adapted to the purposes of practical life. No one is +bound to speak ungrammatically or incorrectly, even when communicating +with the illiterate, but the _simplest_ phraseology, as well as the most +laconic, is often the most appropriate and expressive, under such +circumstances. + +Companionship with the educated justifies the use, without justly +incurring the charge of _pedantry_, of every mode of conveying ideas +that we are assured is _intelligible_ to them. Thus classical scholars +may use the learned languages, if they will, in mutual intercourse; and +the popular and familiar words and phrases we have borrowed from the +French, are often a convenient resource, under similar circumstances. +All this is best regulated by good-breeding and taste. It is always +desirable to err on the safe side, where there is a possibility of +misapprehension, or of incurring the imputation of affectation, or of a +love of display. + +This last consideration, by the way, affords an additional incentive to +the selection of such companionship as is best suited to elicit the +exercise of conversational grace, and stimulate the mental cultivation +upon which it must be based. In addition to this advantage, is that thus +afforded of familiarizing one's self with the usages of those who may be +regarded as _models_ for the inexperienced. The modesty so becoming in +the young, will inspire a wish to _listen_ rather than talk; but--though +to be an attentive and interested listener is one of the most agreeable +and expressive of compliments--remember that _practice_, if judiciously +directed, cannot be too soon attempted, to secure this desirable +attainment. + +These remarks, I am fully aware, have been desultory and digressive, but +they were designed to be rather suggestive than satisfactory; and +experimental knowledge will, I trust, more than compensate you for my +conscious deficiencies. I will add only a general remark or two, and +then no longer tax your patience. + +The ladies--dear creatures!--are most prone, it must be admitted, to the +use of _exaggerated_ language, in conversation; with them the +superlative form of the adjective will alone suffice for the full +expression of feeling or opinion. But this peculiarity is by no means +confined to those in whom enthusiasm and its natural expression are most +becoming. The sterner sex are far from being exempt from this habit, +which often involves _looseness of thought_, _inaccuracy of statement_, +or _positive untruthfulness_. It is desirable, as _a point of ethics_, +to practise care in this regard. Using the strongest forms of expression +on ordinary occasions, leaves one no _reserved corps_ of language for +those requiring unusual impressiveness. _Accuracy_ is the great +essential, many times, in the choice of language. A clear idea, clearly +and unequivocally expressed, is indicative of a good and +well-disciplined intellect, each, as I have before intimated, the result +of _attention_ and _practice_. + +Well-bred people are careful, when obliged to differ with others in +conversation, to do so in polite language, and never to permit the +certainty of being in the right to induce a dictatoral or assuming +manner. When only a difference of opinion or of taste is involved, young +persons, particularly, should scrupulously abstain from any appearance +of obstinacy, or self-sufficiency, and defend their impressions, if at +all, with a courteous deference to others. Usually, nothing is gained by +argument in general society. No one is convinced, because no one wishes +to be, and many persons, even when 'convinced, will argue still,' +because unwilling, from wounded self-love, to admit it. Much acrimony of +feeling is engendered in this way--pertinacity often causing an +unpleasant conclusion to what was begun in entire good-feeling. No one +is bound to renounce a claim to his individual rights in this respect, +but modesty and courtesy will never sit ill upon the young, while +steadfastly defending even a point of principle. "Never," said Mr. +Madison, in an admirable letter of advice to a nephew, "_never forget +that, precisely in proportion as you differ from others in opinion, they +differ with you_." Let me add, that they who are honestly seeking +knowledge and truth, will carefully review and re-weigh opinions, +tastes, and principles in regard to which they find themselves differing +essentially with those whom age, experience, and learning render their +admitted superiors. + +And if contradiction and opinionativeness are inadmissible in good +society, at least equal taste and tact are required in conveying +information to others. Some graceful phrase, some self-renouncing +admission or explanation, which may secure you from the envy or dislike +that wounded vanity might otherwise engender, should not be forgotten +when circumstance or education give you an advantage over others in the +intercourse of domestic or social life. + + "As in smooth oil the razor best is whet, + So wit is by politeness sharpest set; + Their want of edge from their offense is seen, + Both pain us least when exquisitely keen, + _The fame men give is for the joy they find_!" + +It is usually in bad taste to talk of one's self in general society. +Humility of language, in this respect, may easily be interpreted into +insincerity, and it is at least equally difficult, on the other hand, to +avoid the imputation of egotism. Frankness with those to whom you are +bound by the ties of friendship, will, many times, be the best proof you +can give of the sincerity of your confidence and regard, but this will +in no degree interfere with a certain _self-abnegation_ in ordinary +social intercourse. Politeness may dictate our being listened to with a +semblance of interest, when our own health, affairs, adventures, or +misfortunes are the subject of detailed discourse on our part, but the +sympathy of the world is not easily enkindled, and pity is often mingled +with contempt. People go into society to be amused, not to have their +courtesy taxed by appeals to sensibilities upon which others have no +claim. Carlyle has well said, "_Silently swallow the chagrins of your +position; every position has them_." And it is so; but one's "private +griefs" are not lessened by exposure, nor made more endurable by being +constantly the theme, either of one's thoughts or conversation. Let me +add that their legitimate use is to teach us a ready sympathy with the +sorrows and trials of others, rather than a hardened self-engrossment. + +While you endeavor, therefore, to + + "Conceal yoursel' as weel's ye can + Frae critical dissection," + +seek to excel in personal agreeability, not for the sake of superiority +so much as to secure the means of giving pleasure to others, and of +entitling yourself to the favorable regard of those whose society it is +desirable to enjoy. Even the readiest admirers of wit may weary of the +very brilliancy of its flashes, if the coruscations too constantly +recur, as the eye tires of sheet-lightning, often repeated; but who will +weary of geniality, amiability, and + + "Good breeding, the blossom of good sense," + +any sooner than will the eye of the lambent light of fair Diana? + +No single characteristic of conversation, perhaps, so universally +commends the possessor to the favor of society, as _cheerfulness_. "_A +laugh_," said an eminent observer of society, "_is the best vocal music; +it is a glee in which everybody can take part!_" I remember, once, being +for some weeks in a hotel with a number of invalids, one of whom, though +a constant sufferer, always met me with a pleasant smile, and uttered +his passing salutations in a voice cheery as a hunter's horn. Really, +his simple "Good morning, Colonel Lunettes," was so replete with +good-humor, courtesy, and cheerfulness, as to do one good like a +cordial. It so impressed me that, at length, I responded, "Good morning, +_cheerful sir_,--I believe you never fail to greet your friends in a +manner that gives them pleasure." His pleasant smile grew pleasanter, +and his bright eye brighter, as he replied--"I always make _a principle_ +of speaking cheerfully to the sick, especially--they, of all others, are +most susceptible to outward impressions." "There is a world of +philosophy, as well as of humanity, in what you say," returned I, "and I +can personally testify to the good effects of your kindly habit." + +But it is not alone the sick, the sad, or the sensitive who hail a +cheerful companion with delight--these _Human Sunbeams_ bring warmth and +gladness to all--even the least susceptible feel the effects of their +genial presence, almost unconsciously, and frequently seek and enjoy +their conversation when even elegance and erudition would fail of +attraction. + +The same tact and self-respect that will preserve you from exhibitions +of vanity and egotism, will dictate discrimination in the selection of +topics of conversation, bearing upon matters of taste and sentiment, as +well as of opinion and principle.--All affectation or assumption of +superiority in this respect is offensive and worse than useless. Those +with whom you have mental affinities will understand and appreciate you; +but beware, especially if sensitively constituted, how you expose your +sensibilities to the ridicule, or your principles to the professed +distrust of those with whom, for any reason, you cannot measure +colloquial weapons upon entirely equal terms. + +On the contrary, again, no well-bred man ever rudely assails either the +predilections or the principles of others in general society. This is no +more the proper arena for intellectual conflicts than for political +sparring, or theological disputes. Whatever tends to disturb the general +harmony of a circle, or to give pain to any one present, is +inexcusable, however truthful and important in the abstract, however +wise or witty in itself considered, may be observations tending to +either or both results. + +This brings me to dwelling a moment upon a kindred point--the +discourtesy sometimes exhibited by young men towards ladies and +clergymen, in the use of equivocal language, and the introduction of +exceptionable subjects in their hearing. Anything that will crimson the +cheek of true womanhood, or invade the _unconsciousness_ of _innocence_, +is unworthy and unmanly, to a degree of which it is not easy to find +language to express sufficient abhorrence. The defencelessness of the +dependent sex, in this, as in all other respects, is their best +protection with all who-- + + "Give the world assurance of a _man_!" + +And the same shield is presented by those whose profession precludes +their adopting the means of self-defence permitted to the world at +large. Nothing can be more vulgar--setting aside the immorality of the +thing--than to speak disrespectfully of religion, or of its advocates +and professors, in society--what then shall be said of those who assail +the ears of the acknowledged champions of Christianity with infidel +sentiments, contemptuous insinuations, or profane expletives? Depend +upon it, a _man of the world_, whatever his honest doubts, or unorthodox +convictions, will be as little likely to present himself as a mark in +regard to these matters for the _suspicious distrust_, or the _palpable +misapprehension_ of society, as to subject himself to the charges of +extreme _juvenility_ and _low breeding_ by assailing a clergyman with +ridicule, or a woman with libertinism, however exquisite may be his wit +in the one case, or apparently refined his insinuations, in the other. + +While recommending to your attention the selection of suitable and +tasteful subjects of general conversation, I should not omit to remind +you that nothing but acknowledged intimacy sanctions the manifestation +of curiosity respecting the affairs of others. As a rule, _direct +questions_ are inadmissible in good society. Listen with politeness to +what may be voluntarily communicated to you by your associates, +regarding themselves, but on no account, indulge an impertinent +curiosity in such matters; and when courtesy sanctions the manifestation +of interest, express your desire for information in polite language, and +with a half-apologetic manner, that will permit reserve, without +embarrassment to either party. Let me add, that an uncalled-for +exhibition of your familiarity with the private affairs of a friend, +when his own presence and manner should furnish your proper clue to his +wishes, is to prove yourself unworthy of his confidence. As well might +one boast of his acquaintance with the great, or assume an unceremonious +manner towards them, on unsuitable occasions. In either case, one is +liable to the repulse sustained by an unfortunate candidate for +fashionable distinction, who, approaching a member of English _haut ton_ +in the streets of London, said, "I believe I had the honor of knowing +you in the country, sir."--"_When we again meet in the country_," was +the reply, "I shall be pleased to renew the acquaintance!" + +_Quickness of repartee_ may be reckoned among the graces of the +colloquial art, and those who are gifted with activity of intellect, and +have acquired facility in the use of expressive language, should possess +the power thus to embellish their social intercourse. Every one is now +and then inspired in this way, I believe; but few persons, +comparatively, even among the most practised conversationists, excel in +this respect. How few, for instance, would have responded as readily, in +an emergency, as did the half-drunk servant of Swift: + +"Is my fellow here?" inquired the Dean, pushing open the door of a low +tavern much frequented by his often-missing _valet_. + +A nondescript figure came staggering forward, and stuttered out--"_Your +L-Lordship's f-a-l-l-o-w can't b-be f-found in all I-Ire-Ireland!_" + +I have lately met, somewhere in my reading, with the following anecdote +of the elder Adams, as he is frequently called. I remember, at this +moment no better illustration of ready repartee: + +"How are you this morning, sir?" asked a friend who called to pay his +respects to this patriotic son of New England, during the latter days of +his life. + +"Not well," replied the invalid; "I am not well. I inhabit a weak, +frail, decayed tenement, open to the winds, and broken in upon by the +storms, and what is worse, _from all I can learn, the landlord does not +intend to make repairs_!" + +_A ready and graceful reply to a compliment_, may, also, be regarded as +a conversational embellishment. It is not polite to _retort_ to the +language of courtesy with a charge of insincerity, or of flattery. +_Playfulness_ frequently affords the best resource, or the _retort +courteous_, as in Lord Nelson's celebrated reply to Lady Hamilton's +questions of "Why do you differ so much from other men? Why are you so +superior to the rest of your sex?" "If there were more Emmas, there +would be more Nelsons." One may say, "I fear I owe your commendation to +the partiality of friendship;" or, "I trust you may never be undeceived +in regard to my poor accomplishments;" or, "Really, madam, your +penetration enables you to make discoveries for me." Then again, to one +of the lenient sex, one may reply--"Mrs. Blank sees all her friends +through the most becoming of glasses--her own eyes." And to an older +gentleman, who honors you with the fiat of a compliment, thus proving +that it may sometimes be false that + + "The vanquished have no friends," + +"Really, sir, I do not know whether I am most overwhelmed by admiration +for your wit and politeness, or by gratitude for your kindness." Or some +phrase like this will occasionally be appropriate--"I am afraid, sir, I +shall plume myself too highly upon your good opinion. You do me much +honor;" or, "It will be my _devoir_, as well as my happiness, for the +future, to deserve your commendation, sir;" or, "You inspire as much as +you encourage me, dear sir--if I possess any claim to your flattering +compliment, you have yourself elicited it." To a compliment to one's +wit, or the like, one may reply--"Dullness is always banished by the +presence of Miss ----;" or, "Who could fail to be, in some degree, at +least, inspired in such a presence?" Then, again, a reply like this will +suffice--"I am only too happy in being permitted to amuse you, madam." + +Permit me in this connection, a few words respecting _conversation with +ladies_. Though all mere silliness and twaddle should be regarded as +equally unworthy of them and yourselves, yet, in general association +with the fairest ornaments of creation, _agreeability_, rather than +profundity, should be your aim, in the choice of topics. Sensitive, +tasteful, refined, + + "And variable as the shade + By the light quivering aspen made," + +their vividness of imagination and sportiveness of fancy demand +similarity of intellectual gifts, or the graceful tribute of, at least, +temporary assimilation. _Playfulness_, _cheerfulness_, _versatility_, +and _courtesy_ should characterize colloquial intercourse with ladies; +but the deference due them should never degenerate into mere servile +acquiescence, or mawkish sentimentality. + +The utmost _refinement of language and of matter_ should always be +regarded as essential, under such circumstances, to the discourse of a +well-bred man; and should, of course, distinguish his _manner_ as well. +Thus, all slang phrases, everything approaching to _double entendre_, +all familiarity of address, unsanctioned by relationship or acknowledged +intimacy, all mis-timed or unsanctioned use of nick-names and Christian +names, are as inadmissible in good society as are personal +familiarities, nudging, winking, whispering, etc. + +Too much care cannot be taken in avoiding all subjects that may have the +effect to wound or distress others. I think I have before remarked that +people go into society for enjoyment--relaxation from the grave duties +and cares of life--not to be depressed by the misanthropy of others, or +disturbed by details of scenes of horror. I have known persons who had +such a morbid taste for such things as always to insist upon reading +aloud, even in the hearing of children and ladies, the frightful +newspaper details of rail-road accidents and steamboat explosions. I +remember, in particular, once having the misfortune to be acquainted +with such a social incubus, to whom a death in the neighborhood was a +regular God-send, and to whom the wholesale slaughter made by the +collision of rail-cars served as colloquial capital for weeks--indeed +until some provident body corporate supplied new material for his +cormorant powers of mental digestion! His letters to distant friends +were a regular _bill of mortality_, filled with minute accounts of the +peculiar form of disease by which every old woman of his acquaintance +was enabled to shuffle off this mortal coil, and of every accident that +occurred in the country for miles around--from the sudden demise of a +poor widow's cow, to the broken leg of a robber of bird's-nests! I shall +never forget the revulsion of feeling he produced for me, one serene +summer evening, as I was placidly strolling over the sands by the +sea-shore, drinking in the glory of old Neptune's wide-spread realm, by +inflicting upon me, not only _himself_--which was enough for mortal +patience--but a long rigmarole about the great numbers of fishes washed +upon the shore by a recent storm, who had had their eyes picked out by +birds of prey, while still struggling for life in an uncongenial +element! On another occasion, I had the misfortune to be present when a +young lady was thrown into violent hysterics by his mentioning, with as +much _gusto_ as an inveterate "collector" would have exhibited in +boasting the possession of a _steak_ from the celebrated "antediluvian +beef," immortalized by Cuvier,[13] that he had picked up a small foot +with a lady's boot on it, while visiting the scene of a late rail-road +accident! + + [13] Speaking in one of his public lectures, of the recent discovery + (amid the eternal snows of Siberia, I think), of the carcass of a + _mastodon_, upon which the hunting-dogs of the explorers had + fed--"_Thus_," said the great naturalist, "_did modern dogs gorge + themselves upon antediluvian beef!_" + +But avoiding these aggravated forms of grossness is not enough. True +politeness requires attention to the peculiarities of each of the +company you are with--teaching, for instance, your abstaining from +allusions to their personal defects or misfortunes, to the embarrassment +of conversing with deaf persons, in the presence of those thus +afflicted, to lameness, when some one present has lost a limb, to the +peculiarities of age, in the hearing of elderly persons, to the vulgar +impression that all lawyers are knaves, when one of the sons of that +noble profession is among your auditors--to the murderous reputation of +the disciples of Esculapius, etc. This rule will teach, too, the use of +a less offensive term than that of "old maid," when speaking of women of +no particular age, in the hearing of such as are by courtesy only, +without the pale alluded to; and the propriety of not appealing to such +authority in relation to matters of remote personal remembrance! + +In no country with the social institutions of which I am familiar, do +the peculiar opinions obtain, which prevail in this country respecting +_age_. "Young America" regards every one as old, apparently, who has +attained majority, and _women_, in particular, are subjected to a most +unjust ordeal in this respect. The French have a popular saying that no +woman is agreeable until she is forty; and in both France and England, +_marriage_--which first entitles a young lady to a decided position in +society--usually occurs at a much later period in her life than with +us. In neither of those countries are girls _brought out_ at an age when +here they are frequently already mothers! But to return: nothing is more +ill-bred, than this too frequent assumption of the claims of women to be +exempt from social obligations and deprived of their proper places in +society, in this country, while still retaining all their pristine +claims to agreeability. Polished manners, cultivated tastes and personal +attractions, are not to have their claims abrogated by Time. You +remember the poet says: + + "The little Loves are infants ever, + The Graces are of every age!" + +I well remember being intensely chagrined by an exhibition of +under-breeding in this way while making a morning visit, with a young +countryman of ours, upon a beautiful English girl, a distant relative of +his. + +After discussing London fogs, and other kindred topics, Jonathan +suddenly burst forth, as if suddenly inspired with a bright thought. + +"How's the old lady?" + +The largest pair of blue eyes, opening to their full extent, turned +wonderingly upon the querist. + +"Your _mother_,--is she well this morning?" + +"Mamma is pretty well, thank you; but it is not possible that you regard +her as _old_! Mamma is in the very prime of life, only just turned of +five and forty! Dear mother! she is looking very pale and sad in her +widow's cap, but we have never thought of her as _old_," and a shadow, +like the sudden darkening of a fair landscape, dimmed those deep blue +eyes and that fine forehead. + +But enough upon this collateral point. + +I trust you will need no argument to convince you of the vulgarity and +immorality of permitting yourselves the practice of _repeating private +conversation_. Nothing will more surely tend to deprive you of the +respect and friendship of well-bred people, since nothing is more +thoroughly understood in good society, than a tacit recognition of that +essential security to social confidence and good-feeling which utterly +interdicts the repetition of private conversation. + +Let me only add to these rambling observations the assurance that a +_ready compliance_ with the wishes of others, in exercising any personal +accomplishment, is a mark of genuine good-breeding. + + * * * * * + +During one of my visits to London, some years since, the Duke of ---- +invited me to run down with him, for a few days, to his magnificent +estate in ----shire. + +Riding one morning with my host and a numerous party of his guests, we +paused to breathe our horses, and enjoy the fine prospect, upon the +summit of a hill overlooking the wide-spread acres of his lordship. + +"Here the estate of my neighbor, Mr. ----, joins my land," said the +Duke, pointing, with his riding-whip, towards a narrow, thickly-wooded +valley, at our feet. "You catch a glimpse of his turrets through the +oaks yonder. This spot always reminds me," pursued our host, laughing, +"of an amusing incident of which it was the scene, years ago, when the +family of my neighbor had not become as distinguished as it now is, +among the philanthropists of the age. A young friend of ours, who was +spending the shooting-season here with my sons, while eagerly pursuing +his game, one morning, unconsciously trespassed upon the preserves of +Mr. ----. The report of his fowling-piece brought Mr. ---- suddenly to +his side, just as he was triumphantly bagging his bird. My excellent +neighbor, with all his admirable qualities, is sometimes a little +choleric, and you know, Col. Lunettes, [bowing and smiling] that nothing +sooner rouses the ire of a true Englishman, than an invasion of the +_Game Laws_." + +"'Sir!' cried Mr. ----, in a voice trembling with ill-suppressed fury, +'do you know that you are trespassing,--that these are _my_ grounds?' + +"My young guest was not permitted fully to explain, before the angry man +again burst forth with a tirade, which he concluded, by asking--'What +would you do yourself, sir, under such circumstances? How would you feel +disposed to treat a gentleman who had encroached upon your rights in +this way?' + +"'Well, really, sir, since you ask me, I think I should _invite him to +go with me to the house and take a mouthful of lunch_!' + +"This was irresistible! Even ----'s indignation was cooled by such +inimitable _sang froid_, and he at once adopted the suggestion of the +young sportsman. My witty guest not only secured the refreshment he +needed, but, eventually, helped himself to a _bonne bouche_ of more +substantial character, by his marriage with one of the blooming +daughters of my neighbor, to whom he was introduced on that memorable +occasion!" + + * * * * * + +A young American of my acquaintance, met, not long since, in the +_salons_ of a distinguished _Parisienne_, one of the most learnedly +scientific of the French authors of our times. + +"I am as much surprised as I am delighted, to meet you here to-night, +Mr. ----," said my friend, "I supposed you too much occupied in profound +research and study, to find time for such enjoyments." + +"I am, indeed, much occupied at present," returned the _savant_; "but I +can neither more agreeably nor more profitably spend a portion of my +time than in the society of my refined and cultivated friend, Madame +----, and that of the intellectual and accomplished visitors I always +meet at her house." + + * * * * * + +Speaking, in the body of this letter, of the uselessness of _arguing_ +with the hope of convincing others, reminded me, by association, of a +little incident illustrative of my opinion, of which I was once a +witness, during a summer sojourn at Avon Springs--a little quiet +watering-place in the Empire State, as you may know. + +There was a pleasant company of us, and our intercourse was agreeable +and friendly--all, apparently, disposed to contribute to the general +stock of amusement, and to make the most of our somewhat limited +resources in the way of general entertainment. There were pretty +daughters and managing mammas, heiresses, and ladies without fortune, +who were quite as attractive as those whose fetters were of gold, the +usual complement of brainless youths, antiquated bachelors and +millionaire widowers (so reputed), with a sprinkling of nondescripts and +old soldiers, like myself. + +It was our custom to muster, in great force, every morning, and go in a +mammoth omnibus from our hotel to the "Spring" to bathe and drink the +delectable sulphur-water, there abounding. On these occasions, every one +was good-humored, obliging, and cheerfully inclined to make sacrifices +for the comfort and convenience of others. The _ladies_, especially, +were the objects of particular care and courtesy, being always politely +assisted up and down the high, awkward steps of our lumbering +conveyance, with their bathing parcels, etc. + + ----"All went merry as a marriage bell," + +until one unlucky day when some theological point became matter of +discussion between two men of opposite opinions, just as we were +commencing our return-ride from the Spring. Others were soon drawn, +first into listening, and then into a participation in the conversation, +until almost every man in the company had betrayed a predilection for +the distinctive tenets of some particular religious sect. Thus, +Baptists, Presbyterians, Methodists, Congregationalists, Episcopalians, +Unitarians, and Romanists stood revealed, each the ardent champion of +his own peculiar views. The ladies had the good sense to remain silent, +with the exception of an "Equal Rights" woman, whose wordy interposition +clearly proved that + + "_Fools rush in where angels fear to tread!_" + +Well! of course, no one was convinced by this sudden outbreak of varied +eloquence of the fallacy of opinions he had previously entertained, and +of the superior wisdom of those of any one of his companions. Indeed, so +eager was each in the maintenance of his own ground, as scarcely to heed +the arguments of his opponents, except as furnishing a fresh impulse for +advancing his own with increasing pertinacity. + +Presently, flushed cheeks, angry glances, and louder tones gave token +that the meek spirit of the long-suffering _Prince of Peace_ was not +dominant in the breasts of these, the professed advocates of his +doctrines. Rude language, too, gradually took the place of the professed +courtesy with which the discussion had begun, and the ladies looked +uneasily from the windows, as if to satisfy themselves that escape from +such disagreeable association was near at hand. Happily for them, our +Jehu, though unmindful of any particular occasion for haste, at length +drew up before Comstock's portico. But, in place of the usual patient +waiting of each for his turn to alight, and the usual number of extended +hands that were wont to aid the ladies in their descent, every one of +the angry combatants crowded hastily out of the vehicle, almost before +it had fairly stopped, wholly disregardful alike of the toes of his +neighbors and the claims before universally accorded to the gentler +portion of our company, and hurried up the steps, apparently forgetful +of everything except the uncomfortable chafings of wounded self-love! +Each man, evidently, regarded himself as the most abused of mortals, and +the rest as a parcel of obstinate fools, for whom it were a great waste +of ammunition to assume the martyr's fate! And I am by no means sure, +that the cheerful amicability that had before prevailed among us was +ever fully restored after this unhappy outbreak of _religious feeling_! + + * * * * * + +The gayest of capitals experienced a sensation! The wittiest of circles, +where all was wit, were, for once, content to listen only! The brave, +the great, the learned, and the fair, contended for the smiles and the +society of the Marquis de Plusesprit, the handsomest, the most +accomplished, and the wittiest man in Paris! + +One day, while this social _furore_ was at its height, a celebrated +physician received a professional visit from an unknown, whose pale +cheeks and sunken eyes bore testimony to the suffering to which he +described himself as being a prey. The man of science prepared a +prescription, but assured his patient that what would most speedily +effect his restoration was change of scene and agreeable society. + +"Seek in congenial companionship relief from the mental anxiety by which +you are evidently oppressed," said the modern Esculapius--"fly from +study and self-contemplation;--above all, _court the society of the +Marquis de Plusesprit_!" + +"Alas! doctor," returned the stranger, "_I am Plusesprit!_" + + * * * * * + +Speaking of Repartee, reminds me of a pretty scene of which I was a +witness, not long since, while ruralizing for a week with an old friend +and his charming daughters, at their beautiful and hospitable home, on +the banks of the Hudson. By the way, I have before introduced you to +their acquaintance--the pleasant family of _letter-writing memory_!-- + +An elderly foreign gentleman, of large information and agreeable +manners, but not one of fortune's favorites, had been dining with us, by +special invitation, and the lovely daughters of my host had vied with +each other in doing honor to one in whom sensitiveness may have been +rendered a little morbid by the effect of the tyrant Circumstance. Every +hour succeeding his arrival had served more effectually to melt away a +certain constraint of manner, by which he seemed at first oppressed, and +his expressive face grew bland and genial under the sunny influences of +courteous respect and appreciation, until when he rose to go away at +sunset, he seemed almost metamorphosed out of the man of the morning. + +The sisters three, accompanied their agreeable visitor to the +vine-draped veranda, where I was already seated, attracted by the beauty +of the evening, and of my local surroundings. I had been particularly +admiring a fine large orange-tree, at the entrance of the porch, which +was laden with flowers and fruit, and, with glittering pearls from a +shower just bestowed upon it by the gardener. + +"Will you not come again, before Colonel Lunettes leaves us, Mr. ----?" +asked my sweet young friend Fanny, in her most cordial tones, linking +her arm in that of one sister, and clasping the waist of the other, as +she spoke, "we will invoke the Loves and Graces to attend you"---- + +"The Graces!" exclaimed the guest, quickly,--extending his hands towards +the group, and bowing profoundly--"then you will come yourselves!--_the +Graces are before me!_" And then he added, with a courtly air--"Really, +Miss Fanny, you too highly honor a rusty old man"---- + +"An old man," interrupted Fanny, with the utmost vivacity, dissolving +the "linked sweetness" that had intwined her with her sisters, and +extending her beautiful arm towards the superb orange-tree before her, +"an old man!--here is a fitting emblem of our friend Mr. ----;--all the +attractiveness of youth still mingled with the matured fruit of +experience!" + +Charming Fanny! God bless her!--she is one of those earth-angels whose +manifold gifts seem used only to give happiness to others! + + * * * * * + +I called one evening, not long since, to pay my respects to the daughter +of a recently-deceased and much-valued friend. She had been persuaded +into a journey to a distant city, in search of the health and spirits +that had been exceedingly impaired by watching beside the death-bed of +her departed mother. Her appearance could scarcely fail, as it seemed to +me, to interest the most insensible stranger to her history;--for +myself, I was inexpressibly touched by the language of the colorless +face and languid eyes to which a simple black robe lent additional +meaning. + +Just as I began to indulge a hope that the faint smile my endeavors at +cheerful conversation had caused to flicker about her lips--as a +rose-tint illumines for a moment the white summit of an Alpine +height--there entered the drawing-room of our hostess a bevy of noisy +women, young and old, who gathered about the sofa, where my friend and I +were seated near our hostess, and rattled away like so many pieces of +small (very small!) artillery. + +I saw plainly that the mere noise was almost too much for the nerves of +the silent occupant of the sofa corner; but what was my surprise at +hearing them go into the most minute particulars respecting the recent +death of a gentleman of our acquaintance! His dying words, his very +death-struggles were carefully reported, and the grief of the survivors +graphically described! + +Unfortunately, having relinquished my seat beside the mourner to one of +these women, I was powerless in my intense wish to attract her attention +from the subject of their discourse; but my eyes were riveted upon her, +with the keenest sympathy for the torture she must be undergoing. Her +pale face had gradually grown white as a moonbeam, until, at length, as +though strengthened by desperation, she sprang from her seat, and +essayed to leave the room. One step forward, a half-stifled sob, and the +slender form lay extended on the floor in hapless insensibility. + + * * * * * + +"While Mr. Smith is tuning his guitar, let us beg Mrs. Williams to +redeem her promise of reciting Campbell's 'Last Man' for us," said a +graceful hostess, mindful of the truth that some of her guests preferred +eloquence and poetry to sweet sounds, and desirous, too, of drawing out +the accomplishments of all her guests. + +Mrs. Williams, gifted with + + "The vision and the faculty divine," + +glanced a little uneasily at the ever-twanging guitar as she politely +assented to the requests that eagerly seconded that of her hostess. Mr. +Smith still continued to hum broken snatches of an air, twisting the +screws of his instrument with complete self-engrossment, the while. + +"I will not interrupt Mr. Smith," said the lady, in more expressive +tones than were ever elicited from catgut by the efforts of that +gentleman, moving with a step graceful as that of a gazelle to the other +end of the room. + +Our little circle gathered about her, and enjoyed, in an exquisite +degree, + + "The feast of reason, and the flow of soul," + +that so far surpasses the merely sensuous pleasure afforded by music, +when not associated with exalted sentiment. + +As the company broke into little groups, after thanking Mrs. Williams +for the high gratification for which we were her debtors, I overheard +Mr. Smith say, with a discontented air, to a youth with a "_lovely +moustache_," who had "accompanied" him in his previous musical +endeavors, "I'll never bring my instrument _here_ again!" + +At this critical moment, our hostess approached with a water-ice, as a +propitiatory offering, and expressed the hope that the guitar was now +renewed for action. The musician, with offended dignity, only +condescended to reply, as he deposited his idol in a corner-- + +"Thank you, ma'am; I supposed your friends were _fond of music_!" + + * * * * * + +Discussing the mooted subject of _beards_ one morning lately, with some +sprightly young ladies of my acquaintance, the following specimen of +quickness of repartee was elicited. I record it for your amusement. + +"Among the ancients, I believe," said a fair girl, "a long, snowy beard +was considered an emblem of the wisdom of the possessor." + +"And how is it in modern times?" inquired another lady, "does wisdom +keep pace, in exact proportion with length of beard?" + +"No, indeed," exclaimed the first speaker, laughingly, "for, + + "If beards long and bushy true wisdom denote, + Then Plato must bow to a hairy he-goat!" + + * * * * * + +What would an educated foreigner--Kossuth, for instance, who learned +English _by the study of Shakspeare_--make of the following specimens of +colloquial American language? + +"Do tell, Jul," exclaimed a young lady, "where _have_ you been +marvelling to? You look like Time in the primer!" + +"No you don't," returned the young lady addressed, "you can't come it +over dis chil'!" + +"No, no," chimed in a youth of the party, "you can't come it quite, Miss +Lib! Don't try to poke fun at us!" + +"You've all been _sparking_ in the woods, I guess!" + +"Oh, ho," laughed one of the speakers, "I thought you'd get it through +your hair, at last--that's rich!" + +"Why!" retorted the interlocutor, tartly, "do you think I don't know +tother from which?" + +"I think you 'know beans' as well as most Hoosiers," replied her +particular admirer, in a tone of unmistakable blandishment. + +"Everybody knows Jul's _some pumpkins_," admitted one of her fair +companions. + +"Come, Jul, rig yourself in a jiffy," said a bonny lassie, who had not +yet spoken, "you are in for a spree!" + +"What's in the wind--who's to stand the shot?" cautiously inquired the +damsel addressed. + +"We're bound on a spree, I tell you! You must be _green_ to think we'll +own the corn now! Come, fix up, immediately, if not sooner!" so saying, +the energetic speaker seized her friend round the waist and gallopaded +her out of the room. + +Presently some one said, "Well, Jul and Lotty have made themselves +scarce!--I----by George, it makes a fellow open his potato-trap to hang +around waitin' so," and an expansive yawn attested the sincerity of this +declaration. + +"I could scare up my traps a heap sight quicker, I reckon, and tote 'em +too, from here to the river, nigger fashion," rejoined a Southerner, of +the group. + +"Some chicken fixins and pie doins wouldn't be so bad--would they, +though?" whispered a tall, Western man to his next neighbor. + +"And a little suthin to wet your whistle, too," added another, +overhearing the remark--"you're a trump, anyhow!" + +"Then you do _kill a snake_, sometimes, Mr. Smith," inquired one of his +auditors, smiling significantly. + +"Does your anxious mother know you're out?" retorted Mr. Smith, twirling +his fingers on his nose. + +"Don't be wrathy, Smith--what's your tipple, old fellow?" put in one of +the young men, soothingly stroking the broad shoulders of that +interesting youth. + +"You're E Pluribus--you're a brick," returned Mr. Smith, softening, "but +where in thunder are those female women? They'ave sloped and given us +the mitten, I spose"---- + +"You ain't posted up, my boy, if you think they'd given us the slip," +answered his friend. + +"By jingo! it takes the patience of all the world and the rest of +mankind to dance attendance upon them--they ain't as peart as our _gals +o' wind_!" cried Mr. Smith, in an ecstasy of impatience. + +"How's your ma, Mr. John Smith?" inquired the merry voice of "Jul," who +had entered unperceived, "you'd better dry up!" + +"Here we are, let's be off," shouted a young gentleman. + +"All aboard," echoed another. + +"Now we'll go it with a rush!" burst from a third, and, suiting the +action to the word, my _dramatis personae_ vanished like the wind. + + * * * * * + +Having the happiness to pass a morning at the _Louvre_ with my early and +lamented friend, Washington Allston, he said to me, as arm in arm we +sauntered slowly through one of the Galleries--"Come and study one of my +particular favorites with me--one might as well attempt to taste all the +nondescript dishes at a Chinese state-dinner as to enjoy every picture +in a collection, at a single visit. I do not even glance at more than +one or two, unless I know that I shall have months before me for +renewing my inspection--better take away one distinct recollection, to +add to one's _private collection_, than half a dozen confused, imperfect +copies!" + +I think it was a _Murillo_ before which the artist paused while +speaking; the celebrated work representing a monk, who had been +interrupted by death while writing his own biography, as being permitted +to return to earth to complete his self-imposed task. I am not sure but +this picture, however, was added some years later to the treasures of +the Louvre, by Napoleon--for we were both young men then--however, it +matters not. I was quite as much occupied in observing the _living +picture_ before me, as that of the great master. And, though memory has +proved somewhat treacherous, I still vividly recollect the spiritualized +face of this true child of genius, as he contemplated the magnificent +impersonation. His brow grew radiant, and his eye! ah, who shall portray +that soul-lit eye, or justly record the poetic language that fell, +almost unconsciously, from his half-inspired lips! Sacredly are they +cherished among the hoarded memories of youthful friendship? It was only +my purpose to recall for your benefit the opinion and practice of one so +fully competent to advise in relation to our subject. + +What Disraeli has somewhere said of eating, may, with equal nicety of +epicureanism, be applied to the enjoyment of Ideal Art, and of that of +which it is the type--natural beauty:--"To eat, really to eat," asserts +the discriminatingly sensuous Jew, "one should eat alone, in an easy +dress, by a soft light, and of a single dish at a time!" For myself--but +there's no accounting for tastes!--I should desire on all such +occasions, + + "One fair spirit for my minister," + +or rather, for my sympathizing companion! + + * * * * * + +As an illustration of the advantage to a man in public life, of _ready +elocution and ready wit_, let me sketch for you a little scene of which +I was the amused and interested witness, one morning some months ago, +while on a visit at Washington. + +A _Chaplain_ was to be elected for the House of Representatives. General +Granger, of New York, proposed a Soldier of the Revolution as well as of +the Cross--the Rev. Mr. Waldo--adding a few impressive facts in relation +to his venerable and interesting friend--as that he was then in his +ninety-fourth year, had borne arms for his country in his youth, etc. + +Upon this, some member, upon the _opposition benches_, as the English +say, called out: + +"What are his claims? where did he serve?" + +"The gentleman will permit me to refer him to the Pension Office," +returned General Granger, with the most smiling urbanity; "he will there +find the more satisfactory answer to his queries." + +"What are Mr. Waldo's politics?" + +"Though a most amiable gentleman and devout Christian, he belongs, sir, +to--the _Church Militant_!" + +"Is he a _Filibuster_?" + +"Even so, sir! Mr. Waldo filibustered for the _Old Thirteen_, against +George the Third, in the American Revolution!" + + I am, my dear boys, as ever, + Your affectionate, + "UNCLE HAL." + + + + +LETTER X. + +HABIT. + + +MY DEAR FRIENDS: + +If you wish to have power to say, in the words of the imperial slave of +the beautiful Egyptian, + + "Let me, . . . . . . . + With those hands that grasp'd the heaviest club, + Subdue my worthiest _self_," + +you must not wholly overlook the importance of _Habit_, while +establishing your system of life. + +Always indicative of character, habit may yet, to a certain extent, do +us the greatest injustice, through mere inadvertency. Indeed, few young +persons attach much importance to such matters, until compelled by +necessity to unlearn, with a painful effort, what has been insensibly +acquired. + +Permit me, then, a few random suggestions, intended rather to awaken +your attention to this branch of a polite education, than to furnish +elaborate directions in relation to it. + +Judging from the prevalent tone of social intercourse among our +countrymen, both at home and abroad, one might naturally make the +inference, that most of them regard _Rudeness_ and _Republicanism_ as +synonymous terms. Depend upon it, that as a people, we are retrograding +on this point. Our upper class--or what would fain be deemed such--in +society, may more successfully imitate the fashionable follies and +conventional peculiarities of the Old World, than their predecessors +upon the stage of action did; but fashion is not good breeding, any more +than arrogant assumption, or a defiant independence of the amenities of +life, is true manliness. Breaking away from the ceremonious old school +of habit and manner, we are rapidly running into the opposite extreme, +and the masses who, with little time or inclination for personal +reflection, on such subjects, naturally take their clue, to some extent, +from the assumed exponents of the laws of the fickle goddess, +exaggerating the value of the defective models they seek to imitate, +into the grossest caricature of the whole, and, mistaking rudeness for +ease, and impudence for independence, so defy all abstract propriety, +as, if not to "make the angels weep," at least to mortify and disgust +all observant, thinking men, whose love and pride of country sees in +trifles even, indications more or less auspicious to national +advancement. + +All this defiance of social restraint, this professed contempt for the +suavities and graces that should redeem existence from the complete +engrossment of actualities, is bad enough at home; but its exhibition +abroad is doubly humiliating to our national dignity. Every American who +visits foreign countries, whether as the accredited official +representative of his government, or simply in the character of a +private citizen, owes a duty to his native land, as one of those by the +observance of whom strangers are forming an estimate of the social and +political advancement of the people who are making the great experiment +of the world, and upon whom the eyes of all are fixed with a peculiar +and scrutinizing interest. + +It has been well said of us, in this regard, that "_our worst slavery is +the slavery to ourselves_." Trammelled by the narrowest social +prejudices at home, Americans, breaking loose from these restraints +abroad, run riot, like ill-mannered school-boys, suddenly released from +the discipline which, from its very severity, prompts them to indulge in +the extreme of license. Thus, we lately had accounts of the humiliating +conduct of some Americans, who, being guests one night at the Tuileries, +actually so far forgot all decency as to intrude their drunken +impertinence upon the personal observation of the Emperor! And, when +informed, the next morning, that, at the instance of their insulted +host, the police had followed them, when they left the palace, to +ascertain whether they were not suspicious characters who had +surreptitiously obtained admittance to the imperial fete, they are +reported to have pronounced the intelligence "_rich!_" Shame on such +exhibitions!--they disgrace us nationally. + +If our countrymen would be content to learn from older peoples on these +points, it would be well. In the Elegant and Ideal Arts, in Literature, +in general Science, the superiority of our predecessors in the history +of Progress, is cheerfully admitted. Can we, then, learn nothing from +the matured civilization of the Old World in regard to the _Art of +Living_? Shall we defy the race to which we belong, on this point alone? +This secret is possessed in greatest perfection by those who have +longest studied its details, and some long existent nations who display +little practical wisdom in matters of political science, are greybeard +sages here. So then, let us learn from them what they can easily save us +the trouble of acquiring by difficult experiments for ourselves, and, +concentrating our energies upon higher objects, give them back a full +equivalent for their knowledge of the best mode of serving the _Lares_, +the _Muses_, and the _Graces_, by a successful illustration of the +truth, that _as a people we are capable of self-government_! We shall, +then, no longer have the wife of an American minister ignorantly +invading the Court Rules at Madrid, by sporting the colors sacred to +royal attire there, and so giving occasion for national offense, as well +as individual conflict, nor furnish Punch with material for the +admonitory reflection that the bond of family union between John Bull +and his cousin Jonathan must be somewhat uncertain "when so small a +matter as the _tie of a cravat can materially affect the price of +stocks_!" And, when vulgar bluster and braggadocio are no longer +mistaken for the proper assertion of national and individual +independence, we shall not have an American gentleman who, like our +justly-distinguished countryman, George Peabody, constantly exhibits +the most urbane courtesy, alike towards foreigners and towards the +citizens of the native country to which his life has been one prolonged +paean, accused of _toadying_, because he quietly conforms to the social +usages of the people among whom he lives! + +But pardon me these generalities. I have been unintentionally led into +them, I believe, by my keen sense of mortification at some of the +incidents to which I have alluded. + +Coming then to details, let us, primarily, resolve to be slaves to +nothing and to no one--neither to others nor to ourselves; and to +endeavor to establish such habits as shall entitle each of us, in the +estimation of discriminating observers, to the distinctive name of +_gentleman_. + +_Constant association with well-bred and well-educated society_, cannot +be too highly estimated as an assistant in the acquisition of the +attributes of which we propose to speak. A taste for such companionship +may be so strengthened by habit as to form a strong barrier to the +desired indulgence of grosser inclinations. "Show me your friends, and +I'll tell you what you are," is a pithy Spanish proverb. Choose yours, I +earnestly entreat, in early life, with a view to self-improvement and +self-respect. And, while on this point, permit me to warn you against +mistaking pretension, wealth, or position, for intrinsic merit; or the +advantages of equality in elevated social rank, for an equivalent to +mental cultivation, or moral dignity. + +One of the collateral benefits resulting from proper social +associations, will be an escape from _eccentricities_ of manner, dress, +language, etc.; erroneous habits in relation to which, when once +established, often cling to a man through all the changes of time and +circumstance. + +But, as observation proves that this, though a safeguard, is by no means +always a sufficient defense, it is well to resort to various +precautions, additionally--as a prudent general not only carefully +inspects the ramparts that guard his fortress, but stations sentinels, +who shall be on the look-out for approaching foes. + +So then, my dear boys, do not regard me as descending to puerilities +unworthy of myself and you, when I call your attention to such matters +as your attitude in standing and sitting, or any other little +individualizing peculiarities. + +Some men fall into a habit of walking and standing with their heads run +out before them, as if doubtful of their right to keep themselves on a +line with their fellow-creatures. Others, again, either elevate the +shoulders unnaturally, or draw them forward so as to impede the full, +healthful play of the lungs. This last is too much the peculiar habit of +_students_, and contracted by stooping over their books, undoubtedly. +Then again, you see persons swinging their arms, and see-sawing their +bodies from side to side, so as to monopolize a good deal more than +their rightful share of a crowded thoroughfare, steamer cabin, or +drawing-room floor. Nothing is more uncomfortable than walking arm in +arm with such a man. He pokes his elbows into your ribs, pushes you +against passers-by, shakes you like a reed in the wind, and, perhaps, +knocks your hat into the gutter with his umbrella--and all with the most +good-humored unconsciousness of his annoying peculiarity. If you are so +unfortunate as to be shut up in a carriage with him, his restless +propensity relieves itself to the great disturbance of the reserved +rights of ladies, and the frequent impalement upon his protruding elbows +of fragments of fringe, lace, and small children! At table, if it be +possible, his neighbors gently and gradually withdraw from his immediate +vicinity, leaving a _clearing_ to his undisputed possession. He usually +may be observed to stoop forward, while eating, with his plate a good +foot from the customary locality of that convenience, pushed before him +towards the middle of the table, and his arms so adjusted that his +elbows play out and in, like the sweep of a pair of oars. + +A little seasonable attention to these things will effectually prevent a +man of sense from falling into such peculiarities. Early acquire the +habit of standing and walking with your chest thrown out--your head +erect--your abdomen receding rather than protruding--not leaning back +any more than forward--with your arms _scientifically_ adjusted--your +hat on the _top_ (not on the back, or on one side) of your head--with a +self-poised and firm, but elastic tread; not a tramp, like a war-horse; +not a stride, like a fugitive bandit; not a mincing step, like a +conjurer treading on eggs; but, with a compact, manly, homogeneous sort +of bearing and movement. + +Where there has been any discipline at least, if not always, inklings of +character may be drawn from these tokens in the outer man. For +instance--the light, quick, cat-like step of Aaron Burr, was as much a +part of the man as the Pandemonium gleam that lurked in the depths of +his dark, shadowed eyes. I remember the one characteristic as distinctly +as the other, when I recall his small person and peculiar face. So with +the free, firm pace by which the noble port of De Witt Clinton was +accompanied--one recognized, at a glance, the high intellect, the lofty +manhood, embodied there. + +Crossing the legs, elevating the feet, lounging on one side, lolling +back, etc., though quite excusable in the _abandon_ of bachelor +seclusion, should never be indulged in where ceremony is properly +required. In the company of ladies, particularly, too much care cannot +be exhibited in one's attitudes. It is then suitable to sit upright, +with the feet on the floor, and the hands quietly adjusted before one, +either holding the hat and stick (as when paying a morning visit), or +the dress-hat carried in the evening, or, to give ease, on occasion, a +book, roll of paper, or the like. Habits of refinement once established, +a man feels at ease--he can trust himself, without watching, to be +_natural_--and nothing conduces more to grace and elegance than this +quiet consciousness. Let me add, that true comfort, real enjoyment are +no better secured under any circumstances, by indulging in anything +that is _intrinsically unrefined_, and that a certain _habitual +self-restraint_ is the best guarantee of ease, propriety and elegance, +when a man would fain do entire justice to himself. + +Habits connected with matters of the table, as indeed with all sensuous +enjoyments, should always be such as not to suggest to others ideas of +merely selfish animal gratification. Among minor characteristics, few +are so indicative of genuine good-breeding as a man's mode of _eating_. +Upon Poor Richard's principle, that "nothing is worth doing at all that +is not worth doing well," one may very properly attach some consequence +to the formation of correct habits in relation to occasions of such very +frequent recurrence. It is well, therefore, to learn to sit uprightly at +table, to keep one's individual "aids and appliances" compactly +arranged; to avoid all noise and hurry in the use of these conveniences; +neither to mince, nor fuss with one's food; nor yet to swallow it as a +boa-constrictor does his,--rolled over in the mouth and bolted _whole_; +or worse still, to open the mouth, to such an extent as to remind +observers that alligators are _half mouth_. Eating with a knife, or with +the fingers; soiling the lips; using the fork or the fingers as a +tooth-pick; making _audible_ the process of mastication, or of drinking; +taking soup from the _point_ of a spoon; lolling forward upon the table, +or with the elbows upon the table; soiling the cloth with what should be +kept upon the plate; putting one's private utensils into dishes of +which others partake; in short, everything that is odd, or coarse, +should nowhere be indulged in. + +Cut your meat, or whatever requires the use of the knife, and, leaving +that dangerous instrument conveniently on one side of your plate, eat +with your fork, using a bit of bread to aid, when necessary, in taking +up your food neatly. + +When partaking of anything too nearly approaching a liquid to be eaten +with a fork, as stewed tomato, or cranberry, _sop_ it with small pieces +of bread;--a _spoon_ is not used while eating meats and their +accompaniments. Never take up large bones in the fingers, nor bite +Indian corn from a mammoth ear. (In the latter case, a long _cob_ +running out of a man's mouth on either side, is suggestive of the mode +in which the snouts of dressed swine are adorned for market!) If you +prefer not to cut the grain from the ear, break it into small pieces and +cut the rows lengthwise, before commencing to eat this vegetable. + +When you wish to send your plate for anything, retain your knife and +fork, and either keep them together in your hand, or rest them upon your +bread, so as not to soil the cloth. + +Should you have occasion for a tooth-pick, hold your napkin, or your +hand, before your mouth while applying it, and on no account resort to +the _perceptible_ assistance of the tongue in freeing the mouth or teeth +from food. + +Have sufficient self-control, when so unfortunate as to be disgusted +with anything in your food, to refrain from every outward manifestation +of annoyance, and if possible, to conceal from others all participation +in your discovery. + +Accustom yourself to addressing servants while at table, in a low, but +intelligible tone, and to a good-natured endurance of their blunders. + +Avoid the appearance of self-engrossment, or of abstraction while +eating, and, for the sake of health of mind and body, acquire the +practice of a cheerful interchange of both civilities and ideas with +those who may be, even temporarily, your associates. + +It is now becoming usual among fashionable people in this country to +adopt the French mode of conducting ceremonious dinners, that of placing +such portions of the dessert as will admit of it, upon the table, +together with plateaux of flowers, and other ornaments, and having the +previous courses served and carved upon side-tables, and offered to each +guest by the attendants. But it will be long before this custom obtains +generally, as a daily usage, even among the wealthier classes. It will, +so far continue rather an exception than a rule, that the _art of +carving_ should be regarded as well worth acquiring, both as a matter of +personal convenience, and as affording the means of obliging others. +Like every other habit connected with matters of the table, exquisite +_neatness_ and discrimination should characterize the display of this +gentlemanly accomplishment. Aim at dexterous and rapid manipulation, and +shun the semblance of hurry, labor, or fatigue. Familiarity with the +_anatomy_ of poultry and game, will greatly facilitate ease and grace in +carving. + +Always help ladies with a remembrance of the moderation and +fastidiousness of their appetites. If possible, give them the choice of +selection in the cuts of meats, especially of birds and poultry. + +Never pour gravy upon a plate, without permission. A little of the +filling of fowls may be put with portions of them, because that is +easily laid aside, without spoiling the meat, as gravy does, for many +persons. + +All meats served in mass, should be carved in _thin slices_, and each +laid upon one side of the plate, carefully avoiding soiling the edge, or +offending the delicacy of ladies, in particular, by too-ensanguined +juices. + +Different kinds of food should never be mixed on the plate. Keep each +portion of the accompaniments of your meats neatly separated, and, where +you _pay for decency and comfort_, take it as a matter of course that +your plate, knife, and fork are to be changed as often as you partake of +a different dish of meat. + +_Fish_ is eaten with bread and condiments only; and the various kinds of +meat with vegetables appropriate to each. _Game_, when properly cooked +and served, requires only a bit of bread with it. + +By those who best understand the art of eating, _butter_ is never taken +with meats or vegetables. The latter, in their simple state, as +potatoes, should be eaten with salt; most of them need no condiment, in +addition to those with which they are dressed before coming to table. +Salads, of course, are prepared according to individual taste; but the +well-instructed take butter at dinner only after, or as a substitute +for, the course of pastry, etc. with bread, if at all. The English make +a regular course of bread, cheese, and butter, preceding the dessert +proper--nuts, fruit, etc.; but they never eat both butter and cheese at +the same time. + +Skins of baked potatoes, rinds of fruit, etc., etc., should never be put +upon the cloth; but _bread_, both at dinner and breakfast, is placed on +the table, at the left side of the plate, except it be the small bit +used to facilitate the use of the fork. + +Never drum upon the table between the courses, fidget in your chair, or +with your dress, or in any manner indicate impatience of due order and +deliberation, or indifference to the conversation of those about you. A +_gentleman_ will take time to dine decorously and comfortably. Those +whose subserviency to _anything, or any one_, prevents this, are not +_freemen_! + +Holding, as I do, that + + "_To enjoy is to obey,_" + +let me call your attention, in this connection, to the truth that the +pleasures of the table consist not so much in the _quantity_ eaten as in +the _mode of eating_. A moderate amount of simple food, thoroughly and +deliberately masticated, and partaken of with the agreeable accessories +of quiet, neatness and social communion, will not only be more +beneficial to the physical man, but afford more positive enjoyment, than +a larger number of dishes, when hurriedly eaten in greater quantities. + +I have frequently remarked among our young countrymen a peculiarity +which a moment's reflection will convince you is exceedingly injurious +to health--that of swallowing an enormous amount of fluid at every meal. +Reflect that the human stomach is scarcely so large as one of the +goblets which is repeatedly emptied at dinner, by most men, and that all +liquids taken into that much-abused organ, must be absorbed before the +assimilation of solid food commences, and you will see, at once, what a +violation of the natural laws this practice involves. Here, again, is +one of the evil effects of the fast-eating of fast Americans. Hurrying +almost to feverishness, at table, and only half masticating their food, +the assistance of _ice-water_ is invoked to facilitate the process of +swallowing, and to allay the more distressing symptoms produced by haste +and fatigue! + +Before we leave these little matters, let us return for an instant, to +that of the _position_ assumed while _sitting_. The "_Yankee_" +peculiarity, so often ridiculed by foreigners, of tipping the chair back +upon the two hind feet, is not yet obsolete, even in our "best society." +Occasionally some uninstructed rustic finds his way into a fashionable +drawing-room, where "modern antique furniture," as the manufacturers +call it in their advertisements, elicits all the proverbial ingenuity +of his native land, to enable him to indulge in his favorite attitude. +"I thought I saw the ghost of my chair!" said a fair friend to me, as +soon as a visitor had left us together, one morning, not long since. "I +was really distressed by his efforts to tilt it back--these fashionable +chairs are so frail, and he would have been intensely mortified had he +broken it! Have you seen the last 'Harper,' Colonel?" + +Do not permit yourself, through an indifference to trifles, to fall into +any unrefined habits in the use of the handkerchief, etc., etc. Boring +the ears with the fingers, chafing the limbs, sneezing with unnecessary +sonorousness, and even a too fond and ceaseless caressing of the +moustache, are in bad taste. Everything connected with _personal_ +discomfort, with the mere physique, should be as unobtrusively attended +to as possible. + +When associated with women of cultivation and refinement--and you should +addict yourself to no other female society--you cannot attend too +carefully to the niceties of personal habit. Sensitive, fastidious, and +very observant of _minutiae_--indeed often judging of character by +_details_--you will inevitably lose ground with these discriminating +observers, if neglectful of the trifles that go far towards constituting +the _amenities of social life_. An elegant modern writer is authority +for the fact that the Gauls attributed to woman, "an additional +sense--the _divine sense_." Perhaps the Creator may have bestowed this +gift upon the defenseless sex, as a counterpoise to the superior +strength and power of man, even as he has given to the more helpless of +the lower creatures swiftness of motion, instead of capacity for +resistance. But be that as it may, no man should permit himself any +habit that will not bear the scrutiny of this _divine sense_--much less, +one that will outrage all its fine perceptions. + +Apropos of _details_--I will take leave to warn you against the +_swaggering manner_ that some young men, whose bearing is otherwise +unexceptionable, fall into among strangers, apparently with the mistaken +idea that they will thus best sustain their claims to an unequivocal +position in society. So in the sitting-rooms at hotels, in the +pump-rooms at watering-places, on the decks of steamers, etc., persons +whose juvenility entitles them to be classed with those who have nursery +authority for being "seen and not heard," are frequently the most +conspicuous and noisy. Shallow, indeed, must be the discernment of +observers who conceive a favorable impression of a young man from such +an exhibition! + +In company, do not stand, or walk about while others sit, nor sit while +others stand--especially ladies. Acquire a light step, particularly for +in-door use, and a _quiet_ mode of conducting yourself, generally. +Ladies and invalids will not then dread your presence as dangerous--like +that of a rampant war-horse, ill-taught to + + "Caper nimbly in a lady's chamber!" + +If you are fond of playing at chess and other games, it will be worth +your while to observe yourself until you have fixed habits of entire +politeness, under such circumstances. All unnecessary movements, every +manifestation of impatience or petulance, and all exultation when +successful, should be repressed. Thus, while seeking amusement, you may +acquire self-control. + +Begin early to remember that health and good spirits are easily +impaired, and that _habit_ will materially assist us in the patient +endurance of suffering we should manifest for the sake of those about +us--attendants, friends, "the bosom-friend dearer than all," whom no +philosophy can teach insensibility to the semblance of unkindness from +one enthroned in her affections. + +Don't fall into the habit, because you are a branch of the _Lunettes_ +family, of using glasses prematurely. _Students_ are much in error here. +Every young divinity-student, especially, seems emulous of this +troublesome appendage. Depend on it, this is all wrong, either absurd +affectation, or ignorance equally unfortunate. + +Ladies, it is said, are the _readers_ of America, but who ever sees the +dear creatures donning spectacles in youth? Enter a female college and +look for the glasses that, were the youthful devotees of learning there +assembled of the other sex, would deform half the faces you observe. +Much better were it to inform yourselves of the laws of optics, and use +the organs now so generally abused by the young, judiciously, resting +them, when giving indications of being overtaxed, rather than +endeavoring to supply artificial aid to their natural strength. +Students, especially, should always read and write with the _back to the +light_, so seated that the light falls not upon the eyes, but upon the +book or paper before them. That reminds me, too, how important it is +that one should not _stoop forward_ more constantly than is necessary, +while engaged in sedentary pursuits, but lean back rather than forward, +as much as possible, throwing out the chest at the same time. Many books +admit of being raised in the hand, in aid of this practice, and the +habit of rising occasionally, and expanding the chest, and straightening +the limbs will be found to relieve the weariness of the sedentary. + +But nothing so effectually prevents injury to health, from studious +habits, as _early rising_. This gives time for the out-door exercise +that is so requisite as well as for the use of the eyes by _daylight_. +There is a great deal of nonsense mixed up with our literature, which +seizes the fancy of the young, because embodied in poetry, or clothed +with the charm of fiction. Of this nature is what we read about, +"trimming the midnight lamp," to search for the Pierean spring. Obey the + + "Breezy call of incense-breathing morn," + +and she will environ you with a joyous band of blooming Hours, and guide +you gaily and lightly towards sparkling waters, whose properties are +Knowledge and Health! + +But if you would habitually rise early, you must not permit every +trivial temptation to prevent your also _retiring early_. The laws of +fashionable life are sorely at variance with those of Health, on this +point, as well as upon many others; but, happily, they are not +_absolute_, and those who have useful purposes to accomplish each day, +must withstand the tyranny of this arbitrary despot. Time for the +toilet, for exercise, for intellectual culture and mental relaxation, is +thus best secured. By using the earlier hours of each day for our most +imperative occupations, we are far less at the mercy of contingent +circumstances than we can become by any other system of life. +"Solitude," says Gibbon, "is the school of Genius," and the advantages +of this tuition are most certainly secured before the idlers of +existence are abroad! + +Avoid the habit of regarding yourself as an invalid, and of taking +nostrums. A knowledge and observance of the rules of _Dietetics_ are +often better than the concentered wisdom of a Dispensary, abstinence +more effective than medical applications, and the recuperative power of +Nature, when left to work out her own restoration, frequently superior +to the most skillful aid of learned research. But when compelled to +avail yourself of medical assistance, seek that which _science_ and +_integrity_ render safest. No sensible man, one would think, will +intrust the best boon of earth to the merciless experiments of +unprincipled and ignorant charlatans, or credulously swallow quack +medicines recommended by old women: and yet, while people employ the +most accomplished hatter, tailor, and boot-maker, whose services they +can secure, they will give up the _inner_ man to the influence of such +impositions upon the credulity of humanity! + +Assuming, as an accepted truth, that it is your purpose, through life, +to admit the rights of our fair tyrants + + "In court or cottage, wheresoe'er their home," + +I will commend to you the early acquisition of habits appropriate to our +relations to women as their _protectors_. In dancing, riding, driving, +walking, boating, travelling, etc., etc.,--wherever the sexes are +brought together in this regard (and where are they not, indeed, when +commingled at all?)--observe the gentle courtesies, exhibit the watchful +care, that go far towards constituting the settled charms of such +intercourse. It is not to be forgotten, as I think I have before +remarked, that women judge of character, often, from trifling details; +thus, any well-bred woman will be able to tell you which of her +acquaintances habitually removes his hat, or throws aside his cigar, +when addressing her, and who, of all others, is most watchful for her +comfort, when she is abroad under his escort. Be sure, too, that this +same fair one could confess, if she would make a revelation on the +subject, exactly what men she shuns because they break her fans, +disarrange her bouquets, tear her flounces, touch her paintings and +prints with moist fingers (instead of merely _pointing_ to some part) +handle delicate _bijouterie_ with dark gloves, dance with uncovered +hands, etc., etc. But even if you are her _confidant_, she will not tell +you how often her quick sensibility is wounded by fancying herself the +subject of the _smirks_, _whispers_, and _knowing glances_ in which some +men indulge when grouped with their kindred bipeds, in society! + +At the risk of subjecting myself to the charge of repetition, I will +endeavor, before concluding this letter, to enumerate such Habits as, in +addition to those of which I have already spoken, I deem most entitled +to the attention of those who are establishing a system of life. + +_Habits of reading and studying_ once thoroughly formed, are invaluable, +not only as affording a ready resource against _ennui_, or idleness, +everywhere and under all circumstances, but as necessarily involving the +acquisition of knowledge, even when of the most desultory character. It +is wonderful how much general information may be gleaned by this +practice of reading _something_ whenever one has a few spare grains of +the "_gold-dust of Time_,"--minutes. I once found a remarkably +well-informed woman of my acquaintance waiting to make breakfast for her +husband and me, with a little old _dictionary_ open in her hand. "For +what word are you looking, so early?" I inquired, as I discovered the +character of the volume she held. "For no one in particular," returned +she, "but one can always add to one's stores from any book, were it +only in the matter of _spelling_." But the true way, of course, to +derive most advantage from this enjoyment is to _systematize_ in +relation to it, reading well-selected books with care and attention +sufficient to enable us permanently to add the information they contain +to our previous mental possessions. + +You will only need to be reminded how much ease and elegance in _Reading +aloud_ depend upon _habit_. + +Without the _Habit of Industry_, good resolutions, the most sincere +desire for self-improvement, and the most desirable natural gifts, will +be of comparatively little avail for the practical purposes of +existence. This unpretending attribute, together with _System_ and +_Regularity_, has achieved more for the good of the race, than all the +erratic efforts of genius combinedly. + +"Don't run about," says a sensible writer, "and tell your acquaintances +you have been unfortunate; people do not like to have unfortunate men +for acquaintances. Add to a vigorous determination, a cheerful spirit; +if reverses come, bear them like a philosopher, and get rid of them as +soon as you can." _Cheerfulness_ and _Contentment_, like every other +mental quality, may be cultivated until they materially assist us in +enduring + + "The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune," + +and early attention to the attainment of these mental habits is a matter +of both personal and relative duty. + +Cherish _self-respect_ as, next to a firm religious faith, the best +safeguard to respectability and peace of mind. Entirely consistent +with--indeed, in a degree, productive of the most careful consideration +of the rights of others, the legitimate development of this quality will +tend to preserve you from unwise confidences, from injudicious +intimacies, and from gross indulgences and unworthy pursuits. This will +sustain you in the manly acknowledgment of _poverty_, if that shall +chance to be your lot, when pride and principle contend for the mastery +in practical matters, and enable you to realize fully, that + + "To bear, is to conquer our fate!" + +This will strengthen you to the endurance of that which nothing but +absolute insignificance can escape--_calumny_. It will preserve you +alike from an undue eagerness in defending yourself from unjust +aspersion, and from a servile fear of "the world's dread laugh," from +meriting and from resenting scandal, and convince you that its most +effectual contradiction consists in a _virtuous life_. By listening to +the dictates of this powerful _coadjutor of conscience_, you will +believe with the poet, that + + "Honor and Fame from no _condition_ rise," + +and thus, with straightforward and unvarying purpose, illustrate your +adoption of the motto, + + "_Act well your part_, there all the honor lies!" + +While I would earnestly counsel you to avoid that constant +_self-consciousness_ which is nearly allied to vanity and egotism, if +not identical with them, you will find the habitual practice of +_self-examination_ greatly conducive to improvement. A calm, impartial +analysis of words and actions, tracing each to their several motives, +must tend to assist us to _know ourselves_, which an ancient +philosopher, you may remember, pronounced the highest human attainment. +Arraign yourself, without the advantage of _special pleading_, to borrow +a legal phrase, at the bar of conscience, regarding this arbiter as the +voice of Divinity enshrined within us, whenever assailed by doubts +respecting any course of conduct you have adopted, or propose to adopt, +and where you are thus taught to draw the line of demarcation between +right and wrong, + + "Let that aye be your border." + +In this connection permit me to recommend the regular study of the +_Bible_, and a systematic attendance upon public worship on the Sabbath. +Do not read this most wonderful of books as _a task_, nor yet permit the +trammels of early associations, hereditary prejudice, or blind +superstition, to interfere with your search for the truths contained in +its pages. Try to read the Scriptures as you would any other book, with +the aid of such collateral information as you may be able to obtain +respecting the origin of the several, and wholly, distinct productions +of which it is composed, the authors of each, the purposes for which +they were composed, and, in short, possess yourself of every available +means of giving reality, simplicity, and truthfulness to your +investigations. Study the _Life of Christ_, as written by the personal +friends who were most constantly and intimately associated with him. +Ponder upon his familiar sayings, remembered, and recorded in their +simple memoranda, by the unlettered men who most frequently listened to +them, compare the acts of Christ with his doctrines as a teacher, and +judge for yourselves whether history, ancient or modern, has any +parallel for the _Perfection of the Model_ thus exhibited to the human +race. Decide whether he was not the only earthly being who "never did an +injury, never resented one done to him, never uttered an untruth, never +practised a deception, and never lost an opportunity of doing good." +Having determined this point in your own minds, adopt this glorious +pattern for imitation, and adhere to it, until you find a truer and +better model. We have nothing to do in judging of this matter with the +imperfect illustrations afforded by the lives of professed imitators of +Christ of the perfectibility to which his teachings tend. Why look to +indifferent copies, when the great original is ever before us! Why seek +in the frailty and fallibility of human nature a justification of +personal distrust and indifference? + +No _gentleman_--to come to practicalities again--will indulge in +ridiculing what intelligent, enlightened persons receive as truth, on +any point, much less upon this. Nor will a well-bred man permit himself +the habit of being _late at church_--were it only that those who stand +in a _servile relation to others_, are often deprived of time for +suitable preliminaries of the toilet, etc., he will carefully avoid this +vulgarity. + +The tendency to _materialism_, so strongly characterizing the age in +which we live, produces, among its pernicious collateral effects, a +disposition to reduce "Heaven's last, best gift to man" to the same +practical standard by which we judge of all matters of the outer +life,--of _each other_ especially. Well might Burke deplore the +departure of the Age of Chivalry! But not even the prophetic eye of +genius could discern the degeneracy that was to increase so rapidly, +from the day in which he wrote, to this. As a mere matter of personal +gratification, I would cherish the inclination to _idealize_ in regard +to the fairer part of creation! There is enough that is stern, hard, +baldly utilitarian, in life; we have no need to rob this "one fair +spirit" of every poetic attribute, by system! Few habits have so much +the effect to elevate us above the clods we tread ploddingly over in the +dreary highway of mortal existence, as that of investing woman with the +purest, highest attributes of our common nature, and bearing ourselves +towards her in accordance with these elevated sentiments. And when +compelled, in individual instances, to set aside these cherished +impressions, let nothing induce us to forget that _passive, silent +forbearance_ is our only resource. True manhood can never become the +active antagonist of _defencelessness_. + +I am almost ashamed to remind you of the gross impropriety of speaking +loosely and loudly of ladies of your acquaintance in the hearing of +strangers, of desecrating their names by mouthing them in bar-rooms and +similar public places, scribbling them upon windows, recording them, +without their permission, in the registers kept at places visited from +curiosity, etc., etc. _You have no moral right to take such liberties in +this respect, as you would not tolerate in the relation of brother, son, +or husband._ + +_Think_, then, and _speak_, ever, with due reverence of those guardian +angels, + + "Into whose hands from first to last, + This world with all its destinies, + Devotedly by Heaven seems cast!" + +If you determine to conform yourselves, as far as in you lies, to the +model presented for your imitation by Him who said--"Be ye, therefore, +perfect, even as I am perfect," you will not disregard the cultivation +of a _ready sympathy_ with the sufferings and trials of your fellow +beings. In place of adopting a system that will not only steel your +heart, but infuse into your whole nature distrust and suspicion, you +will, like Him who went about doing good, quickly discern suffering, in +whatever form it presents itself, and minister, at least, the balm of a +kind word, when naught else may be offered. You will thus learn not only +to pity the erring, but, perchance, sometimes to ask yourselves in +profound humility--"_who hath made me to differ_?" + +Young men sometimes fall into the impression that a mocking +insensibility to human woe is manly--something grand and distinguished. +So they turn with lofty scorn from a starving child, make the +embarrassment and distress of a poor mother with a wailing infant the +subject of audible mirth in a rail-car, or stage-coach, ridicule the +peevishness of illness, the tears of wounded sensibility, or the +confessions of the penitent! Now, it seems to me, that all this is +super-human in its sublime elevation! My small knowledge of the history +of the greatly good, affords no parallels for the adoption of such a +creed. I have read of a Howard who terminated a life devoted to the +benefit of his race, in a noisome dungeon, where he sought to minister +to human suffering; of a Fenelon, and a Cheverus whose _Catholic_ spirit +broke the thralling restrains of sectarianism, in favor of general +humanity; of the graceful chivalry and large benevolence of Sir Walter +Raleigh and Sir Philip Sidney; of triumphant soldiers who bound up the +wounds and preserved the lives of a fallen foe; of a Wilberforce, a +Pease, and a Father Mathew; of Leigh Richmond, Reginald Heber, and +Robert Hall; of the parable of the good Samaritan, and of its Divine +Author--and I believe the mass of mankind agree with me in, at least, an +abstract admiration for the characters of each! And though no great +achievements in the cause of Philanthropy may be in our power, though no +mighty deeds may embalm our memories amid the imperishable records of +Time, let us not overlook those small acts of kindness, those trifling +proofs of sympathy, which all have at command. A look, a word, a +smile--what talismanic power do even these sometimes possess! Remember, +then, that, + + "----Heaven decrees + To all the _gift of ministering to ease_!" + +In close association with the wish to minister to the happiness of +others, as far as in us lies, is that of avoiding every self-indulgence +that may interfere with the comfort or the rights of others. Hence the +cultivation of _good-humor_, and of habits of _neatness_, _order_, and +_regularity_. Prompted by this rule, we will not _smoke_ in the streets, +in rail-cars, on the decks of steamers, at the entrance of concert and +lecture rooms, or in parlors frequented by ladies. We will not even +forget that neglect of _matters of the toilet_, in the nicest details, +may render us unpleasant companions for those accustomed to +fastidiousness upon these points. + +To the importance of well-regulated habits of Exercise, Temperance, and +Relaxation, I have already called your attention in a previous Letter. + +Nothing tends more effectually to the production of genuine +independence, than personal _Economy_. No habit will more fully enable +you to be generous as well as just, and to gratify your better impulses +and more refined tastes, than the exercise of this unostentatious art. + +Remember that _meanness_ is not economy, any more than it is integrity. + +To be wisely economical requires the exercise of the reflective +faculties united with practical experience, self-denial, and moral +dignity. Rightly viewed, there is nothing in it degrading to the noblest +nature. + +_Punctuality_ both in pleasure and in business engagements, is alike due +to others, and essential to personal convenience. You will, perhaps, +have observed that this was one of the distinguishing traits of +Washington. + +Somebody says--"Ceremony is the Paradise of Fools." The same may be said +with equal truth, of _system_. To be truly _free_, one should not be the +slave of any one rule, nor of many combined. _System_, like other +agencies, if judiciously regulated, materially aids the establishment of +good habits generally, and thus places us beyond the dominion of + + "_Circumstance, that unspiritual god._" + +Sir Joshua Reynolds used to remark that "Nothing is denied to +well-directed effort." Let _Perseverance_ then, be united with +_Excelsior_ in your practical creed. + +I think I have made some allusion to the _Art of Conversation_. Let me +"make assurance doubly sure," by the emphatic recommendation of +_practice_ in this elegant accomplishment. All mental acquisitions are +the better secured by the habit of _putting ideas into words_. By this +process, thought becomes clearer, more _tangible_, so to speak, and new +ideas are actually engendered, while we are giving expression to those +previously in our possession. + +In addition to the individual advantage accruing from this excellent +mode of training yourselves for easy and effective _extemporaneous +public speaking_, it should not be overlooked, as affording the means of +conferring both pleasure and benefit upon others. Taciturnity and +self-engrossment, you may remark, are not the prominent characteristics +of the favorites of society. + +Nor does the practice of ready speaking necessarily interfere with +habits of _Reflection_ and _Observation_. On the contrary, the mental +activity thus promoted, naturally leads to the accumulation of +intellectual material by every available means. Discrimination in +judging of character, and true _knowledge of the world_, without which +all abstract knowledge is comparatively of little avail, can never be +attained except through the persevering exercise of these powers. + +Shall I venture to remind you, my dear young friends, that the +manifestation of _respect for misfortune, suffering, and age_, may +become one of your attributes by the force of habit strengthening good +impulses. + +Will you think me deficient in utilitarianism if I recommend to you a +cultivation of the _power to discern the Beautiful_, as a perpetual +source of pure and exalted enjoyment? Hard, grinding, soul-trammelling, +is the dominion of real life; will we be less worthy of our immortal +destinies, that we cherish an _inner sense_, by which we readily +perceive moral beauty, shining as a ray from the very altar of Divinity, +or the tokens of the presence of that Divinity afforded by the wonders +of the natural world? Let us not be mere beasts of burden, so laden with +the cares, the anxieties, or even the duties of life, as to have no eye +for the unobtrusive, but often fragrant and lovely flowers, that bloom +along the most neglected of our daily paths. + +Speaking of the Beautiful, reminds me that ours is the only civilized +land where the aesthetical perceptions of the people are not a sufficient +safeguard to the preservation of _Works of Art_, in their humblest as +well as most magnificent exhibitions. Nothing short of the brutalizing +influence of a Reign of Terror will tempt a Parisian populace to the +desecration of these expressions of refinement, taste, and beauty; while +among us, not even an ornamental paling, inclosing a private residence, +or the colonnade of a public edifice, escapes staring tokens of the +presence of this gothic barbarism in our midst. + +You will scarcely need to be cautioned against confounding mere +_curiosity_ with a liberal and enlightened observation of life and +manners. All those indications of undue curiosity respecting the private +affairs of others, expressed by listening to conversation not intended +for the general ear, watching the _asides_ of society, glancing at +letters addressed to another, or asking direct questions of a personal +nature, are unmistakable proofs of ignorance of the rules of polished +life, though they are not as reprehensible as _evil-speaking_, a love +of _scandal_, or the practice of violating either the _confidence_ of +friends or the _sacredness of private conversation_. + +Though a vast difference is created in this respect by difference of +temperament, yet no man can hope to acquire the degree of +_self-possession_ that shall fit him for a successful encounter with the +ever-varying emergencies demanding its illustration, without repeated +and re-repeated struggles and discomfitures. But so invaluable is the +treasure, so essential to the legitimate exercise of every faculty of +our being, that defeat should only render more indomitable the "will to +do, the soul to dare," in persevering endeavors to secure its permanent +acquisition. + +Let me impress upon you the truth that self-possession is the legitimate +result of a _well-disciplined mind_, and that it is properly expressed +by a _quiet_ and _modest bearing_. + +In conclusion, let me earnestly and affectionately assure you that the +formation of right habits, though necessarily attended, for a time, by +failures, difficulties, or discouragements, will eventually prove its +own all-sufficient reward. Habitude of thought, language, appointment, +and manner that shall entitle you to claim + + "The good old name of _Gentleman_," + +once yours, and you will be armed, point of proof, against the exacting +capriciousness of fashion, and forever exempted from the tortures often +inflicted upon the sensitive, by the insidious invasions of +self-distrust! + + * * * * * + +Strolling through the Crystal Palace at London, soon after it was +opened, with a young fellow-countryman, he suddenly broke out +with--"Will you just look at that fellow, colonel?" Turning and +following the direction indicated by his eye (not his finger or +walking-stick, he was too well-bred _to point_!) I discerned, in a +different part of the building, Queen Victoria, accompanied by Prince +Albert and two of the royal children, examining some articles in the +American Department. Very near the stopping-place of this distinguished +party, a representative of the "universal Yankee nation," had stationed +himself--perhaps in a semi-official capacity--upon the apex of some +elevation, with his hat on, and his long legs dangling down in front, +nearly on a level with the heads of passers-by. + +We could not hear the words of her Majesty, but it was apparent that she +addressed some inquiry to him of the legs. First ejecting a torrent of +tobacco-juice from his mouth, and rolling away the huge quid that +obstructed his utterance, he deliberately proceeded to give the +explanation desired, retaining not only his position, but his hat, the +while! + +Meantime, as soon as the Queen commenced addressing this person, her +Royal Consort removed his hat, and remained uncovered until she again +moved on. I shall not soon forget the face of my companion. Shame and +indignation contended for the mastery on his burning cheek! + +"Good G----, Colonel!" he exclaimed, "to think of such a mere brute as +that being regarded as a fair specimen of the advance of civilization +among us! 'Tis enough to make a decent man disclaim his birthright here! +And yet, I have little enough to boast of myself! Only think of my +taking some English gentlemen who were in New-York a month or two ago, +to see our _parks_ (heaven save the mark!) among other objects of +interest in the city! Yesterday, Sir John ----, who was one of the +party, drove about London with me, and took me also to Kensington +Garden, St. James' and Regent's Parks! I don't know what would tempt me +again to undergo the thing! I rather think I am effectually cured, +henceforth and for ever, of any inclination to _boast of anything +whatever, personal or national_!" + + * * * * * + +"As you are the only 'gentleman of elegant leisure' in the family, at +present, Harry, suppose you take these girls to New York for a week or +two. For my part, it's as much as I can do to provide money for the +expedition," said your uncle William to me, one evening. + +"Oh, do, dear uncle Hal!" exclaimed Ida, with great vivacity, sitting +down on a low stool at my feet, and clasping her hands upon my knee, "we +always love dearly to go with you anywhere, you are so good to us." + +"Yes!" broke in William junior, "uncle Harry spoils you so completely by +indulgence that I can do nothing with you. You're a most unruly set, at +home and abroad." + +A sudden twitch at the end of his cravat effectually demolished the +elegant tie upon which the young gentleman prides himself, as little +Jule, who was close beside him, pretending to get her French lesson, and +had perpetrated the mischief, cried out--"What's the reason, then, that +you always take us all along, when you go out in the woods, and off to +the shore--hey, Mr. Willie?" + +"Do be quiet, children," interrupted Ida, reprovingly; "now, uncle dear, +won't you take us? I want some new traps badly." + +"What kind of traps?--mouse traps?" + +"_Man traps_, to be sure!" + +"Well, that's honest, at least, Puss." + +"My purposes are more murderous than Ida's," said Cornelia, laughing; "I +want to buy a new _mankiller_, as Willie calls them." + +"It's too late in the season for mantillas," remarked Ida, profoundly. + +"A fashionable cloak will serve Cornelia's purpose equally well," +returned her father, quietly. + +"And, like the mantle of charity, it will hide a multitude of sins," +chimed in her brother. + +"Your running commentaries are highly edifying, my dear nephew," said I, +and at the same moment a large red rose hit him full on the nose. + +It was soon arranged that your fair cousins should accompany me to the +Empire City in a few days, and I, accordingly, sat down at once, and +wrote to the "Metropolitan" for rooms. + +"What glorious times mother and I will have," I overheard William +exclaim. "I shall take Jule under my especial protection, and hear her +French lessons regularly." + +"No you won't, either," returned that young lady, with great spirit; +"and I wish you'd stop tying my curls together, and mind your own +affairs. No doubt you'll make noise enough to kill ma and me, while +Corne and Dade are gone, drumming on the piano, and spouting your Latin +speech before the drawing-room glass. All I wish is, that uncle Hal +wasn't going away--he never lets you torment me." + +As we were entering the dining-room of our hotel, on the day of our +arrival, our friend Governor S---- joined us, and, after shaking hands, +in his usual cordial way, with us all, said, as he courteously took +Cornelia's hand and folded it within his arm, "Will you allow me to +attend you, Miss Lunettes? Colonel, by your leave. Miss Ida, will you +let a lonely old fellow join your party? Where do you sit, Colonel?" + +"We have but just arrived," I replied, "but our seats are, of course, +reserved; let me secure a seat for you with us, if possible. Ida, remain +here a moment with Cornelia and Governor S----;" and presently, finding +the proper person, the steward, or whatever the man of dining-room +affairs is called, I arranged with him to seat us together, without +interfering with other parties. + +While I was taking my soup, I became suddenly conscious that something +was annoying your cousin Cornelia, who sat between me and S----. +Glancing at her face, I saw there, in addition to a heightened color, an +expression of mingled constraint and hauteur, quite inconsistent with +her usual graceful self-possession and animation. + +Making some general remark to her, and showing no signs of curiosity, I +began quietly to cast about me for the cause of this unwonted +disturbance. Turning my head towards Ida, I overheard her saying, +playfully, though in an undertone, to the senator, with whom she was +already embarked upon the tide of talk: "He reminds me of an exquisite +couplet in an old valentine of mine: + + 'Are not my ears as long as other asses', pray? + Don't I surpass all other asses at a bray?'" + +I was not long in detecting the secret cause of Cornelia's averted face +and Ida's sportive quotation. + +"See here, John, get me some col' slaw and unions, will you--right off," +shouted a young man seated a little below us, on the opposite side of +the table. + +I wish you could have seen the half-repressed wonder depicted in the +countenance of the servant thus addressed, as he glanced at the piece +of "_Mackerel a la maitre d'Hotel_," as the bill of fare called the +_fish_ on his plate. + +Oh, for a Hogarth to do justice to the figure that had arrested my +attention! The face was not bad, perhaps. A merry, dark eye, lit up with +the very spirit of mischief and impudence; a tolerably high, but narrow +forehead; thick, wild-looking black hair, parted on the top of the head, +and bushy whiskers--add large, handsome teeth, displayed by full, red, +ever-laughing lips, and you have the physiognomy. But the dress! + + "Ye powers of every name and grace," + +aid my poor endeavors to describe his toilette! A high shirt-collar, +flaring wide from the throat, by the pugnacious manifestations of the +sturdy whiskers aforesaid; a flashy neckcloth, tied in very broad bows, +and with the long ends laid off pretty well towards the tips of the +shoulders; a velvet waistcoat, of large pattern and staring colors, +crossed by a heavy gold chain, from which dangled a gold-mounted +eye-glass, broad ruffles to his shirt, fastened with huge studs of three +opposing, but equally brilliant colors! A shining Holland-linen +dust-coat completed this unique costume. + +Presently, some one at a distance suddenly attracted the roving eyes of +our hero, and he began the most significant telegraphing with hands and +head, designed, apparently, to persuade the other to come and sit by +him. Turning, as if by accident, I saw a young man, near the entrance of +the room, shaking his head very positively in the negative. But this +was no quietus to our neighbor, who half rose from his seat. + +"Not room for the gentleman here, sir," said a major domo, coming up. + +"Yes there is, too, plenty of room! If you would just move _a leetle_, +ma'am--so," pushing at the chair of an elderly woman, who seemed +suddenly to grow more slender than ever, and at the same time hitching +his own nearer to that of the person next him on the other side, "that +will do, famously! Now, waiter, a plate! I hope I don't crowd you, sir +[to the gentleman next him], we don't wear _hoops_ you know! can keep +_tight_ without them!" The last, in a whisper, like a boatswain's +whistle upon which the respectable female, who illustrated the +mathematical definition of _a point_, bridled and reddened with virtuous +indignation. + +Luckily the table was not as closely filled as it often is, and in much +less time than it takes me to describe the scene, the triumph of the +youth was complete, and a well-dressed, gentlemanly-looking man came +forward, seemingly with considerable reluctance. + +"How are you, Fred, how are you? Right glad to see you, 'pon my +soul--sit down! When'd you get in? Left all the folks well?" + +There was no avoiding hearing this tide of questions, poured out in a +loud, hilarious tone, that rose over the subdued murmur of ordinary +conversation, like the notes of a bugle, sounding amid the twittering +of the feathered tenants of a grove. Apparently quite unconscious that +any one else in his vicinity possessed powers of hearing and seeing, and +wholly unobservant of the elevated eye-brows of some of his neighbors, +and the significant looks and ill-suppressed smiles of the servants, the +young man ran on with details of his own private affairs, interrogations +respecting those of his companion, interspersed with loud and multiplied +directions to the attendants. From my soul I pitied his victim! Deeper +and deeper grew the flush of shame and embarrassment in his handsome +face, more and more laconic and low-voiced his replies, and more uneasy +his restless movements and glances. + +By and by two huge glasses of foaming strong-beer made their appearance. +Beau Brummel's celebrated saying--"A gentleman may _port_; but he never +_malts_," crossed my mind. With due deference to this high authority, +for my part, I think a glass of London brown-stout, or Scotch ale, a +pleasant accompaniment to a bit of cold meat and bread, when one is +inclined to sup; but taking beer _at dinner_ is quite another affair. + +Well! there was a little lull for a time, only to be followed by a new +sensation. One of the quick, galvanic movements of the nondescript +overset a full bottle of wine, just as it was placed between himself and +his friend, and he was in the act of saying, "If you don't drink beer, +Fred, take some--by thunder that's too bad!" + +The dark-colored liquor poured over the table-cloth, and, dividing into +numerous little streamlets, diverged in every direction from the parent +source. Servants hurried forward with napkins to stay the progress of +the flood, the gentleman next our hero coolly dammed up the stream that +most alarmingly threatened his safety, with a piece of bread, and the +slender female, whose slight pretentions to breadth had been so +unceremoniously ignored, fidgeted uneasily under the table, as though +apprehensive that the penetrating powers of the invading foe might be +working in ambush, to the detriment of her light-hued drapery. But the +face of the young stranger! It was positively mottled! His very +forehead, before smooth and fair, suddenly suggested the idea that he +was just recovering from the smallpox! + +Meantime, our little party were quietly pursuing the even tenor of their +respective dinners. Suddenly I missed S----. + +"What has become of the Governor?" said I to Cornelia, in an under-tone. + +"A servant called him away," returned she, in the same unnoticeable +manner. The next moment I again remarked the same peculiar movement +towards me and the same expression of countenance, that had arrested my +attention when we first sat down. A woman's quick instinct never +deceives her! Apparently unheeding, I listened. + +"Dev'lish handsome! like her air!--wouldn't object to taking the seat +myself, by George!" caught my ear. + +I think that young man understood the _fixed look_ with which I regarded +him for the space of about half a minute! I was quite sure his companion +did. + +By this time, the dessert was on the table. + +"Where're you going, Fred? you ain't done?" shouted the Hoosier, or +whatever he was. + +"I have an engagement--I'll see you again," replied the gentleman thus +addressed, springing up, and eluding the detaining grasp of his +persecutor, quickly made good his escape. + +No sooner were we seated in one of the parlors, than Ida's pent-up +merriment burst forth. + +"Did you hear what that poor young man said, when the other commenced +reading the bill of fare, uncle," said she, "just before he darted out +of the room?" + +"What, in particular, do you refer to, my dear? I heard a great deal +more than I wished." + +"O, I mean when the _speaking-trumpet_, as Governor S---- called him, +shouted out--'_fricandeau de veau!_--What's he, Fred? Do tell a fellow.' +He was picking his teeth at the time, with a large goose-quill, with all +the feathers on!" + +"Well, what was the answer?" + +"The poor martyr was, by that time, reduced to the _calmness of +despair_," replied your cousin, laughing; "he answered, with a meaning +air, I thought, '_A calf's head!--one of the entrees!_' Corne, I hope +you did not lose the full effect of the great green and orange-colored +peaches sprinkled over the vest of your admirer. Love at first sight, my +dear! Never saw a more unmistakable smitation! What a triumph! Your +first conquest since your arrival in New York, I believe, Miss +Lunettes!" lisping affectedly, and bowing with mock deference. + +"Ida, you'll be overheard! I'm ashamed of you," returned the stately +Cornelia, with an air of offended propriety. + +"It will never do, Puss," said I; "Corne is right. But, Corne, what +happened to the senator?" + +"How courteous he is!" exclaimed the young lady, with sudden enthusiasm. +"A servant came and whispered to him--'Miss Lunettes,' said he, turning +to me, 'the only man in the world who could tempt me from your side--my +best friend--asks for me on important business. Will you permit me to +leave you, after requesting the honor of attending you?' Of course, I +assented. 'Make my apologies to Miss Ida and Colonel Lunettes,' said he, +as we shook hands, 'I am very unfortunate.'" + +"How quietly he slipped away," said Ida; "I knew nothing of it, until he +was gone." + +"Well-bred people are always quiet," remarked the elder sister, +significantly. + +"Oh, dear me!" retorted Ida, coloring. "Well, it's too much to expect of +any one, not to laugh at such a nondescript specimen of humanity as that +young man." + +The next morning, before I left my room, a card was brought to me, +inscribed with the name of "Frederick H. Alloway," and inclosed with the +following note: + + "The son of one of Colonel Lunettes' old friends begs leave to + claim the honor of his acquaintance, and will do himself the + pleasure to pay his respects, at any hour, this morning, that will + be most agreeable to Colonel Lunettes. + + "_Metropolitan Hotel_, + "_Wednesday Morn._" + +A half-revived remembrance of a face once familiar, had haunted me at +the dinner table the day before, whenever I chanced to catch the eye of +the victimized youth I have alluded to. I was, therefore, not unprepared +to find him identical with the author of this note. + +A certain constraint was evinced by his manner, when the first +complimentary phrases were over. At length his embarrassment found +expression. + +"I am not sure, Colonel Lunettes," said he, "that I should have ventured +to intrude upon you this morning--much as I desired to make the +acquaintance of a gentlemen of whom I have so frequently heard my father +speak--had I not wished to make an apology, or at least an +explanation"---- + +He hesitated, and the mottled color of the day before mantled over his +ingenuous face. I hastened to say something polite. + +"You are very good, sir--really--scandalously as that young fellow +behaved--he is not without redeeming qualities. My acquaintance with him +is slight, and entirely accidental. One of our successful Western +speculators, and a very good-hearted fellow--but sadly in need of +polish." + +"So I perceived," returned I, gravely, "nor is that all. One can pardon +_ignorance_ much more readily than _impudence_." + +"Very true, sir. I only hope that I was not so unfortunate as to incur +your displeasure. I--permit me to express the hope that the ladies of +your party did not regard me as in the most remote way implicated in an +intention to annoy them," and his voice actually trembled with manly +earnestness. + +"By no means, my dear young friend; by no means. I assure you, on the +contrary, that you had our sympathy in your distress--comic as it was." + +The intense ludicrousness of the affair now seemed, for the first time, +to take full possession of the perceptive faculties of my new +acquaintance. + +When our mutual merriment had in some degree subsided, I invited him to +dine with us, unless he preferred to resume his seat of the day before. + +"Heaven forbid!" exclaimed he, with great vivacity; "I should have left +this house to-day, if that fellow had not--he is gone, I am rejoiced to +say." + +It was arranged that the "son of my old friend," as he indeed was, +should meet me in the drawing-room a few moments before dinner, and be +presented to your cousins. So we parted. + +Almost the first person I saw as I was entering the public drawing-room, +to join my nieces, before dinner, on that day, was young Alloway. He +was evidently awaiting me, and, upon my recognizing him by a bow, at +once advanced. + +"You are punctual, I see, Mr. Alloway," said I, as we seated ourselves; +"a very good trait, in a young man!" + +"I fear, sir, there is little merit in being punctual with such a reward +in anticipation," replied he, laughing pleasantly, and bowing to the +ladies, as he spoke. + +Our new acquaintance, very properly, offered his arm to the _younger_ +sister, and I, of course, preceded them with the elder, and though, when +we were seated together, he was quite too well-bred to confine either +his attentions or his conversation to Ida, I must say that I have not +often seen two young people become more readily at ease in each other's +society than my lively favorite, and the "son of my old friend." They +seemed to find each other out by intuition, and talked together in the +most animated manner permitted by their unvarying regard for decorum. +Their nearest neighbors were not disturbed by their mirthfulness, nor +could persons seated opposite them hear their conversation, and yet +Alloway was evidently fast being remunerated for the chagrin and +embarrassment of his previous dinner. + +"Uncle Hal," said Cornelia, leaning towards me, as we sat together on a +sofa, after leaving the table, glancing round to be sure that Ida heard +her, "don't you think Minnesota gentlemen, _generally_, must be rather +susceptible?" + +Her sister, turning + + "The trembling lustre of her dewy eyes" + +upon the quizzical speaker, was interrupted in the spirited rejoinder +she evidently meditated, by the return of Alloway, who had been up to +his room for a pencil-sketch of the Falls of Minnehaha (between St. +Paul's and the Falls of St. Anthony, you know) which he told us he had +made on the spot, a few days before leaving his Western home. + +"How beautiful it must be there!" exclaimed Ida, delightedly. "And you +are taking this to your mother! It reminds me of a 'Panorama of the +Western Wilds,' I think it was called, to which papa took us in New +York, last spring. I don't know when I saw anything so lovely! I had no +just conception before of the magnificence and variety of the scenery of +the far-West." + +"Why, my dear," said I quietly, just for my own amusement, and to watch +the effect upon all parties, "you seem so charmed with these sketches of +the West, that I think I must try and show you the originals by-and-by. +How would you like to go with me to look after my Western investments +next month?" + +"Just like uncle Hal!" I hear more than one of you crying. "He always +plays the mischief among the young folks!" So, to punish your +impertinence, I shall say nothing in particular, of the sudden light +that shone in the fine eyes of our new friend, nor of the enthusiasm +with which Ida clapped her hands and bravoed my proposition. Still more, +I am by no means sure that I shall feel justified in telling you what +came of all this in the future. + +After a while, some other young men came to speak to the girls, and +Alloway, modestly withdrawing, lingered near me, as if wishing to +address me. A lady was saying something to me at the moment. When she +had finished speaking, I turned to my young friend. + +"Colonel Lunettes," said he, in the most polite and respectful manner, +"the ladies inform me that they are to go with you to see some pictures, +in the morning. Will you permit me to attend them?" + +Receiving my assent, he added, "My present mode of life affords few +facilities for the inspection of works of Art; and I am so mere a tyro, +too, that I shall be happy to have the benefit of your cultivated +taste." + +"I dare say Mr. Alloway could instruct us all," interposed Ida, "that +is, sister and me. Uncle Lunettes has spent so many years abroad, that +he is, of course, quite _au fait_ in all such things." + +"At what hour do you propose going, ladies?" inquired Alloway. + +Twelve o'clock was fixed upon. + +"I shall have great pleasure in again meeting you all at that time," +said Alloway, and, as he shook hands with me, he added, with a +significant smile, "I will endeavor to be quite _punctual_, Colonel!" + +"Who is that fine-looking young man, Colonel Lunettes?" asked the lady +with whom I had been conversing, as I reseated myself at her side. "His +manners are remarkably easy and graceful for so young a person. What a +contrast he is to young J----, there, who, with all the advantages of +education, foreign travel, and good society, is, and always will be, _a +clown_! Just look at him, now, talking to those girls! Sitting, _of +course_, upon two legs of his chair, and picking his teeth with a +pen-knife!" + +"What would be the consequence," said I, "if he should lose his balance +and fall backward, with his mouth open in that way, and his knife held +by the tip end of the handle, poised upon his teeth?" + +"It looks really dangerous, don't it," commented the same slender +female, whose _slight_ manifestations had interested me, at dinner, the +day before--"but I suppose he is so used to it that"---- + +A sudden movement arrested further philosophical speculation, on the +part of this profound observer of life and manners, and a young lady +whose flounces had been sadly torn by the very chair upon the occupant +of which she was commenting, passed hurriedly out of the room, with her +disordered dress gathered up in both hands. + +The next morning, some time before the hour appointed for our visit to +the Dusseldorf Gallery, a servant brought me the following note: + + "Mr. Alloway regrets extremely that an unexpected, but imperative, + engagement, deprives him of the anticipated pleasure of + accompanying the Misses and Colonel Lunettes this morning. + + "Will Colonel Lunettes oblige Mr. Alloway by making his compliments + acceptable to the Misses Lunettes, together with the most sincere + expressions of his disappointment? + + "METROPOLITAN HOTEL, + "_Thursday Morning_." + +"I am so sorry!" exclaimed Ida, when informed of this. "Uncle Hal is +always beau enough, but the more the merrier, you know, dear uncle," +added she, linking her arm in mine, and looking artlessly up into my +face. + +"You are quite right, my dear," said I. "I like your frankness, and I am +sorry to lose Alloway myself." + +As I was going out of the "Ladies' Entrance" with your cousins, I +perceived my young friend supporting the steps of a pale, emaciated +gentleman, who coughed violently, and walked with difficulty, even from +the carriage to the door, though sustained on the other side also by an +elderly lady. I drew the girls aside, that they might pass +uninterruptedly. + +"I hope you are well this morning, ladies," said Alloway, raising his +hat, as he caught sight of us. "Good morning, Colonel Lunettes." + + * * * * * + +"Good morning, again, ladies!" said a cheerful, but subdued voice behind +us, as the girls and I were seated together, examining the merry +"Wine-tasters" of the Gallery, after having devoted some time to +subjects of a more elevated moral tone. + +We turned our heads simultaneously. "Good morning, sir," said Alloway, +for it was he; "with your leave, I will join you now." + +Your cousins made room for him between them. "I am so happy not wholly +to lose this," said he, bowing to each of the ladies. "I feared I could +not meet you here even as early as this." + +"We would have waited for you," interposed Ida; "why didn't you tell +us?" + +"I did not think for a moment of taking such a liberty," returned the +young man. "It would, perhaps, have interfered with your other +engagements. Indeed, I scarcely hoped to find you here, but could not +deny myself the pleasure of coming in search of you." + +"Which is your favorite picture here, Miss Lunettes?" I heard Alloway +ask presently. + +"Come and see," returned she, and, rising, she added, "come, +sister--uncle, we will return, do not disturb yourself." + +Loitering along toward them, a while after, I remarked, as I approached, +the expressive faces of the group, and their graceful attitudes, as they +discussed Cornelia's "favorite," and reflected how much the poetry and +beauty that environ youth, when refined by nature and polished by +education, surpass the highest achievements of art. + +"What innocence in that face! What dewy softness in the steadfast +eyes!" exclaimed Cornelia. "The very shoes have an appropriate +expression! dear little bird! one can't help loving her, and wanting to +know all about her." + +"If she were not deaf and dumb," said her cavalier, "I am sure she would +rise and make a courtesy to such flattering admirers! I am getting +dreadfully jealous of her!" + +"You needn't be, as far as I am concerned," retorted Ida; "for my part, +I don't like that brown stuff dress! She isn't _fixed up_ a bit, as +children always are, when they sit for their portraits." And she tripped +away to take another look at her especial admiration--the "_Peasants +Returning from the Harvest-field_," which is, indeed, a gem. + +"What does Miss Ida mean?" inquired Alloway, smilingly, of her sister. + +"I am sure I don't know," returned Cornelia, "she is full of sentiment, +which she always endeavors to hide." + +"With your permission I will go and ask her," said the admirer of the +truant, and bowing politely to us both, he followed Ida. + +I will just add, here, that I learned afterwards, accidentally, and not +even remotely through him, that the persons with whom we met Alloway +that morning, were the mother and brother of that scapegrace we first +saw him with. They had come to New York with the understanding that he +would meet them there, at an appointed time, and assist in the care +required by his dying relative; but this promising youth had suddenly +left the city, without leaving any clue to his proceedings, probably, in +pursuit of some pretty face, which, like Cornelia's, happened to attract +his attention. Luckily, the poor mother learned that Alloway, who was +slightly known to her, was in the city, and appealed to him for +assistance--with what success may be inferred from the little incident I +have narrated. + + * * * * * + +It has always been a matter of marvel, with the learned in such matters, +how Sir Walter Scott accomplished such Herculean literary labors in +conjunction with the discharge of so many public and social duties. As +he himself used to say, he long had a "troop of dragoons galloping +through his head," to which, as their commanding officer, he devoted +much attention; he was sheriff of the county--(in the discharge of the +duties of this office, by the way, he used to march through the streets +of the shire-town, during court term, arrayed in a gown and bag wig, at +the head of his _posse comitatus_, greatly to his own amusement and that +of his friends)--and remarkable for the most urbane and diffusive +hospitality. After he ceased to be the _Great Unknown_, or rather, after +he was identified with that celebrity, Abbotsford became the resort of +innumerable visitors, attracted thither by curiosity, interest, or +friendship. Not only his beautiful residence, but the numerous points +of scenery and the superb ruins in the neighborhood of Abbotsford, which +had been rendered classic by his magic pen, were to be inspected by +these guests, and Scott always seemed to have time for a gallop among +the hills, an excursion to Dryburgh and Melrose Abbey, a pilgrimage +along the banks of the romantic river he has helped to immortalize, or a +lively chat with the ladies after dinner. And he never had that air of +pre-occupation that so often characterizes literary men, in general +society. He took part in the most genial and hearty manner, in the +conversation of the moment, bringing his full quota to the common stock +of mirth, anecdote and jest. I can almost see him, as I write, sitting +in the midst of a social circle, in his drawing-room, trotting the +curly-pated little son of Mrs. Hemans, who was at Abbotsford on a visit, +with her sister and this child, upon his _strong_ knee, and singing, + + "Charley my darling, my darling, Charley my darling," + +at intervals, for the amusement of the little fellow. I chanced, too, to +accompany him, when he attended the poetess to her post-chaise, on the +morning of her departure, and had occasion to remark his courteous +hospitality to the last. "There are some persons," said he, with his +cordial smile, as he offered his hand at parting, "whom one earnestly +desires to meet again. You, madam, are one of those." But I am quite +forgetting the object that induced my recurrence to these +well-remembered scenes. + +In answer to some leading remark of mine, regarding the wonderful +versatility of his father-in-law, addressed to Mr. Lockhart, as we stood +together contemplating the ivy-mantled walls of Dryburgh, he informed me +of the secret of his extraordinary achievements with the pen: "When you +meet him at breakfast," said Mr. Lockhart, "he has already, as he +expresses it, 'broken the neck of the day's work'--_he writes in the +morning_. Eschewing the indulgences of late rising and slippered ease +(at the last he rails incontinently), he is up with the lark--by half +past four or five, dresses as you see him at a later hour, in out-door +costume, visits the stables, and then sets himself resolutely to work. +By nine o'clock, when he joins us, he has accomplished the labors of a +day, almost." + +"His correspondence alone must occupy an immense deal of time," said I. + +"And yet," returned my companion, "Sir Walter makes it a rule to answer +every letter on the day of its reception. It must be an urgent cause +that interferes with this habit. And I am often astonished at the length +and careful composition of his replies to the queries of literary +correspondents, as well as to his letters of friendship." + +"One would suppose his health must be impaired by such severe mental +labor," I answered. + +"His cheerful temper, and his power to _leave care behind him_ in his +study, are a great assistance to him," replied Mr. Lockhart, moving +towards our horses, as he spoke--"but here," he added, smilingly, +laying his hand on his saddle, "here is his grand preservative. It must +be foul weather, indeed, even for our Northern land of mists and clouds, +that keeps him from his _daily allowance of fresh air_." + +"Sir Walter is an accomplished horseman, I observe," said I, as we +resumed our ride. + +"You may well say that!" exclaimed his son-in-law, laughing. "I wish you +could have seen him at the head of his troop of horse, charging an +imaginary foe. Only the other day, his favorite steed broke the arm of a +groom who attempted to mount him; and yet, in Sir Walter's hands, he is +as docile as need be. There seems to be some secret understanding +between him and his horses and dogs. This very horse, though he will +never permit another man to mount him, seems to obey his master's +behests with real pride as well as pleasure. I believe he would kneel to +receive him on his back, were he bidden to do so." + + * * * * * + +Dipping into an instructive and pleasant, though no longer new book,[14] +the other day, I came across the following passage: "Brougham has +recorded that the peroration of his speech in the Queen's case"--his +celebrated defence of Queen Caroline against her beastly husband--"was +written no less than ten times before he thought it fit for so august an +occasion. The same is probably true of similar passages in Webster's +speeches; it is known to be so of Burke's." What do you think of such +examples of industry and perseverance as these, young gentlemen? + + [14] Sketches of Reform and Reformers,--by _H. B. Stanton_. + + * * * * * + +"Step in, ma'am, step in, if you please," said our Jehu, opening the +door of a stage-coach, in which I was making a journey through a region +not then penetrated by modern improvements, "would you like the back +seat?" Beside him stood a slightly-formed, delicate-looking girl, in a +hesitating attitude. + +"I cannot ride backwards without being ill," said she, timidly, "and +I--I shall be sorry to disturb any one, but I would like to sit by a +window." + +A young man who was sitting on the middle seat with me immediately +alighted, to make room for the more convenient entrance of the stranger, +and, as he did so, the driver said decidedly--"Shall be obliged to ask +the gentlemen on the back seat to accommodate the lady." A low-browed, +surly-looking young fellow, who sat nearest the door of the vehicle, on +the seat designated, doggedly kept his place, muttering something about +having the first claim, "first come, first served," etc. Seeing how +matters stood, a good-natured, farmer-like looking old man, who occupied +the other end of the seat, called out cheerily, "The young woman is +welcome to my place, if I can only get out of it!" and he began at once +to suit the action to the word. + +By this time the before pale face of the young girl was painfully +flushed, and she said, in a low, deprecating tone, "I am very sorry to +make so much trouble." + +"No trouble at all, ma'am--none at all! Just reach me your hand and I'll +help you up--that's it!" + +"I am much obliged to you, sir--very much! I hope you will find a good +seat for yourself," said the recipient of his kindness, gently. + +"No doubt of it!" returned he of the cheery voice. "I ain't at all sorry +to change a little--them back seat's plaguy cramped up! They say," added +he, settling himself next the boot, "that the front seat's the easiest +of all. One thing, there's more room [stretching his legs with an air of +infinite relief between those of his opposite neighbors], a deuced +sight!" + +"Take your fare, gem'men," cried a bustling personage, at this moment. + +"What is the fare from here to O----?" inquired the stationary biped in +the corner behind me. + +"Six shillings, York money," was the ready response. + +"Six shillings!" growled the other; "seems to me there's great extortion +all 'long this road. Yesterday I paid out three dollars, hard +money--twelve shillin' for lodgin', supper, and breakfast, back here to +G----!" + +"Take your fare _now_, sir," interrupted the bustling little man at the +door, stepping upon the wheel, in sublime indifference to the muttered +anathemas, half addressed to him. "What name, sir?"--preparing to write +on the "way-bill"--"_always_, sir! it is rulable--always put down the +name." + +The low voice of the lady, when she was reached, in due order, was +almost lost in the grumbling kept up by the agreeable occupant of the +corner seat. The most amusing commingling of opposite sounds reached my +ears, somewhat like the soft tones of a distant flute, and the +growling--not loud, but deep--of a hungry mastiff. "Julia +Peters"--"takes off the silver, by thunder!"--"Is my band-box put on?" +here a chinking, as of money counted, and then a hurried fumbling +appeared to take place in the "deepest depths" of various pockets. "How +soon will we be there," in silvery murmurs--"By George! I swear I +b'lieve I lost two shillin'!"--"Before dark!" chimed in the flute-notes. +"I am glad to hear it!" "I'll be hanged if any one shall come it over +me!" surged over the musical ripple. "When you stop at my +brother-in-law's," concluded the softer voice, in this unique duet. + +Having been sometime on the wing, I fell into a doze, as we proceeded. +As I roused myself, at length, the young man who had alighted to make +room for the entrance of Miss Peters, whispered, "That young lady seems +very ill--what can we do for her relief?" A moment's attention convinced +me that the poor thing was horribly _stage-sick_. When she appeared to +rally a little, I turned round to her, and said, that I trusted she +would allow me to render her any service in my power. Forcing a smile, +she thanked me, and replied that she would soon be better she thought, +adding, in a still lower tone, that the _smell of tobacco_ always +affected her very sensibly. This last remark was at the time +unintelligible to me, but I afterwards learned that the animal on the +same seat with her had regaled himself upon the vilest of cigars while I +was napping, and that the only attempt at an apology he had offered was +a mumbled remark that, "as the wind blew the smoke out of the stage, he +s'posed no one hadn't no objections!" + +Despite the hope expressed by my suffering neighbor, she did _not_ get +better, but continued to endure a most exhausting ordeal. Every decent +man in the coach seemed to sympathize with her, the rather that she so +evidently tried to make the best of it, and to avoid annoying others. +Every one had a different remedy to suggest, but, unfortunately, none of +them available, as there was no stopping place near. Though a somewhat +experienced traveller, my ingenuity could, until we should stop, effect +no more than disposing my large woollen shawl so as to aid in supporting +the weary head of the poor child. + +As soon as we reached the next place for changing horses, I sprang out, +in common with the other passengers, and, inquiring for the nearest +druggist, hastened to procure a little reliable _brandy_. + +Having previously arranged a change of seats with the harmless stripling +who had thus far occupied the middle back seat, I entered the stage, and +quietly told the young lady that, as there was no one of her own sex +aboard, I should claim the privilege of age, and prescribe for her, if +she would permit me. + +"This is not a pleasant dose, I must warn you," said I, offering her a +_single teaspoonful of clear brandy_, "but I can safely promise you +relief, if you will swallow it; this is a nice, clean glass, too," I +added, smilingly, for I well knew how much that assurance would +encourage my patient. + +"I do not know how to thank you sufficiently, sir," said the young lady, +striving to speak cheerfully, as she attempted to raise her head. Taking +the tumbler, with a trembling hand, she bravely swallowed my +prescription. I must own she gasped a little afterwards, but I could not +allow her the relief of water, without nullifying the proper effect, so +I assisted her in removing her bonnet (which the good-natured farmer, +who had re-entered the coach with me, carefully pinned upon the lining +of the vehicle, where it would safely swing), and in enveloping her head +in her veil, adjusting her shawl comfortably about her, and wrapping my +own about her feet. + +"If I become your physician," said I, as I stooped to make the latter +process more effectual, "you must allow me the right to do as I think +best." + +"I shall be only too much obliged by your kindness, sir," returned she. +"All I fear is, that you will give yourself unnecessary trouble on my +account." + +"The gentleman don't seem to think it's no trouble," interposed the old +farmer, "'taint never no trouble to good-hearted folks to help a +fellow-cretur in distress! I wish my wife was here; she knows a great +sight better than I do, how to take care o' sick folks." + +"I am sure," replied the invalid, "if kindness could make people well, I +should be restored. I feel myself greatly indebted to you, gentlemen." + +The slight color called to her cheek by the genuine feeling with which +she uttered these words, was by no means decreased, as she gracefully +accepted the offerings of the youth who had first called my attention to +her indisposition. Coming up to the side of the stage, near her, he +expressed the hope that she was feeling better, and, saying that he had +known sea-sickness relieved by lemon-juice, presented a fine, fresh +lemon, and a superb carnation-pink, and quickly withdrew. + +Mr. Benton--that I heard him tell the way-bill-man was his name--lost +something in not hearing and seeing all I did of the pleasure he +bestowed by his gifts; but he had his reward, as he re-seated himself +near us. + +"You did not give me an opportunity to thank you for your politeness, +sir," the lady hastened to say, with a pretty, half-shrinking manner, "I +am so much obliged to you for the flower! it is so spicy and refreshing, +and so very beautiful." + +"A very indifferent apology for a bouquet," returned the gentleman, "all +I could find, however. I am very happy if it affords you the slightest +gratification." + +No sooner were we fairly on our way again, than I insisted upon +supporting the head of my fair patient upon my shoulder, assuring her +that ten minutes' sleep would complete the cure already begun in her +case. She blushed, and hesitated a little, upon the plea that she would +tire me. + +"Allow me to be the judge of that," I answered, with some gravity, "and +permit the freedom of an old man." With this, I placed my arm firmly +about her slight form, and, without more ado, the languid head dropped +upon my shoulder. + +I very soon had the satisfaction to discover that "tired nature's sweet +restorer" had come to my assistance, and to discern the return of some +natural color to the pallid face of the poor sufferer; so gathering her +shawl more closely about her, and disposing myself more effectually to +support my light burden, I maintained my vigil until the sudden stopping +of the vehicle aroused us all. + +"The lady gets out here," cried the driver, opening the door, and, +through the obscurity that had now gathered about us, I dimly discerned +the outlines of the small dwelling in front of which we were at a stand. +In another moment, the door was flung hurriedly open, and a gentleman +hastened forward to receive my fair charge, who, notwithstanding the +confusion of the moment, found time to acknowledge the insignificant +attentions she had received from her travelling companions, much more +warmly than they deserved. Our last glimpse of my interesting patient, +revealed her folded closely in the arms of a lady, who appeared in the +lighted passage, and embraced, simultaneously, by several curly-headed +children, who clung to her dress, and hung upon her neck with manifest +and noisy delight. + +We lumbered along, across a dark, covered bridge, up hill and down, and +then I reached my destination, for the nonce, the "New York Hotel," as +the little tavern of the village of B---- was grand-eloquently styled. + +"Well, I ain't sorry we're arrove!" exclaimed the elegant young man, +with whose courtesy of nature my story opened. "George!"--stretching his +ungainly limbs upon the porch of the house--"won't some tipple be fine? +Hotel tipple's good enough for me!" + +Before I could decide in my own mind whether this last declaration was +intended as a fling at me, for not giving Miss Peters a match for his +disgusting tobacco-smoke, from the bar of the stage-house, when I came +to the rescue in her service, he was scuffling with some ragged boys for +his trunk, and, as he marched off with his prize, I heard a +characteristic growl over the prospective tax upon his purse. + +The next day was Sunday, and, of course, I was temporarily at a +stand-still in my journey. + +The sexton of the neat little church to which I found my way in the +morning, put me into a pew next behind that I surmised to be the +Rector's. A movement among its occupants arrested my attention, and I +soon became really interested in remarking the healthful beauty of the +children, who, disposed between the two ladies occupying the extreme +ends of the seat, seemed to find some difficulty in keeping as quiet as +decorum required. + +"I want to sit by aunt Julia," I overheard, as a bright-eyed little +fellow began to nestle uneasily in his seat. Upon this, the lady at the +top of the pew turned her head, and, behold! the face of my young +stage-coach friend! She was too much engaged, however, in aiding their +mother, as I supposed her to be, in settling the children, before the +service should commence, to observe me, and I almost doubted whether the +happy, smiling face I saw, was identical with the worn and colorless one +that had reposed so helplessly upon my breast on the previous evening; +but there was no mistaking the soft, blue eyes, and the wavy hair, +almost as sunny in hue as that of the little fellow who, at length, +rested quietly, with his head pillowed on her arm. + +Scarcely had we begun with the Psalter, before Miss Peters looked +quickly round, with a startled glance. A half-smile of recognition +lighted her sweet face, and then her gaze was as quickly withdrawn. + +"Good morning, sir!" exclaimed my new acquaintance, advancing eagerly +toward me, and offering her hand, as soon as we were in the vestibule of +the church, at the conclusion of the service; "I did not anticipate this +pleasure--sister, this is the gentleman to whom I was so much indebted +yesterday." + +"We are all much obliged by your kindness to Miss Peters sir," her +companion hastened to say, and both bowed most politely to my +disclaimers of merit for so ordinary an act of humanity as that to which +they referred, and to my inquiries for the health of my fair patient. + +Then followed a cordial invitation to dinner, in which each vied with +the other in frank hospitality. I attempted to compromise the matter by +a promise to pay my respects to the ladies in the evening. + +"We do not dine until five on Sunday, sir, and that is almost evening! +Mr. Y---- will walk over and accompany you--you are at the Hotel? It +will give us great pleasure if you will come, unceremoniously, and +partake of a simple family dinner. Miss Peters claims you as _a +friend_." + +There was no withstanding this, especially as each phrase of courtesy +was made doubly expressive, by the most ingenuously hospitable manner. + +"Really, ladies," said I, as we reached the gate of the Rectory, "there +is no resisting such fair tempters! I will be most happy to exchange the +solitude of my dull room for the joys of your Eden." + +And, insisting that I could not permit Mr. Y---- to add to his clerical +duties the fatigue of calling for me, I renewed my expressions of +gratification at the restoration of Miss Peters, and took my leave. + +I was still engaged in laying off my overcoat and shoes, after sending +in my card, when Mr. Y---- came out to welcome me; and a most cordial +welcome it was! Such a warm hand-shaking as he gave me, and such +emphatic assurances of the pleasure it afforded him to make my +acquaintance! And when I entered the tasteful little parlor, where I +found the ladies, I was received with equally frank hospitality. The +children united with their seniors in making me feel, at once, that I +was among friends. One little circumstance, I remember, particularly +touched me. I was scarcely seated, when a little tottering thing, with a +toy in her hand, came and placed herself between my knees, and raising a +pair of large, truthful, blue eyes to mine, lisped out, "I does 'ouv 'ou +dearly!--'ou was 'o dood to aun' Dule!--I dive 'ou my pretty 'ittle +birdie!" and the little cherub presented me the toy.--It was many a long +day afterwards, believe me, my dear boys, before the warmth infused into +the heart of an old campaigner, by the simple adventures of that quiet +village Sabbath, ceased to glow cheerily in his heart! + +After the unpretending, but pleasant, well-appointed dinner was +concluded, Miss Peters rose, and, with a slight apology to me, was +leaving the room, when her sister arrested her. Some playful, whispered +contest seemed to be going on between the two, of which I could not help +overhearing, in the sweet, silvery tones that had charmed me in the +stage-coach, "You know, dear, it's such a luxury to me!--you are always +with them. I will have my own way when I am here!" and away she flew +like a fawn. + +Presently, the pattering of numerous tiny feet, and a commingling of +joyous voices, and the music of childish laughter, reached my ears, from +the stairs, and then all was for a moment hushed. Now there was +distinctly heard from above, the swelling notes of a simple, child's +hymn, sung by several voices, led by the musical one I had learned to +distinguish, and then followed a low-murmured "Our Father," as I +thought. + +"Colonel Lunettes," said my hostess, drawing a chair to the sofa corner, +where I had been snugly ensconced by two of the children, before they +said good-night, "I will take advantage of sister's absence to express +my personal obligations to you for your kind care of her yesterday"---- + +"My dear Madam," I interposed, "I regard my meeting your sister as a +special Providence, for which I alone should be deeply grateful!" + +"You are very polite, sir," answered the lady, "we, too, should be +grateful. Julia should never travel alone. Mr. Y---- always goes over to +O---- for her, when we expect her, and intended to do so this time, but +she insisted upon it in her last letter, that she _knew_ she wouldn't be +ill, and that he would only distress her by coming, as she was sure he +was necessarily very busy, preparing for the Bishop's visit, and, +indeed, she expected to come over with an elder lady teacher in the +Seminary." + +"Then Miss Peters is instructing, Mrs. Y----?" + +"She is, sir. We are orphans [a slight quiver in the tones] and Julia +prefers to make this effort for herself"---- + +"I am opposed to it," continued Mr. Y----, taking up the narrative, as +his wife half-paused, "and much prefer that Julia should be with +us,--she and Mrs. Y---- should not be separated. I am sure there is room +enough in our hearts for all _our children_, and Julia is one of them!" + +The grateful, loving smile, and dewy eyes of the wife, alone expressed +her sense of pleasure at these words. For myself, I declare to you, I +did not like to trust myself to reply. I was turning over some new pages +of the history of human nature! Sometimes I think, as I did then, that +the soul of man never reaches the full development of its earthly +capacities, except when continually subjected to the blessed influences +of _nature_! The city--the beaten thoroughfares of existence--curb, if +they do not deaden, the better manifestations of the spirit, check +forever, the most beautiful, individualizing specialities of manner +even! But I did not mean to moralize. + +When Miss Peters rejoined us, her brother-in-law rose (as I also did, of +course) and seated her between us, on the sofa. + +"My dear young lady," said I, taking her hand respectfully in my own, +"permit me to say, as Dr. Johnson did to Hannah More, upon meeting her +for the first time, '_I understand that you are engaged in the useful +and honorable occupation of instructing young ladies_,'--if it were +possible more thoroughly to forget the brevity of our acquaintance, than +I have already done, this would have deepened my respect and interest +for you! Pardon me, if I take too great a liberty. You have, from the +commencement of our acquaintance, permitted me the privileges of an +octogenarian"---- + +"And of a _gentleman of the old school_!" she added, with great +vivacity, and with the most bewitching smile. + +"Before I leave you, my dear Miss Peters, will you allow me to make a +prophecy?" + +"If you are a prophet of _good_, sir"---- + +"Can you doubt it, when your future fate is the subject?" + +"Indeed, sir, I shall have great faith in your auguries!" returned my +fair neighbor, bestowing the twin of her first smile upon me. + +"Well, then, my dear, it is my solemn conviction that you have not yet +learned all you will one day know of the depth of the impression you +have left upon the heart of Mr. Benton," I answered, with a gravity that +I intended should _tell_. + +"Mr. Benton! so that's his name?" laughed Mrs. Y----, gaily. "Julia +pretended not to know his name! I thought it was a conquest! I have not +yet had an opportunity of looking out the '_language_' of a very large, +full blown carnation pink!" + +"No doubt," interrupted Mr. Y----, "it is precisely the opposite of +_lemon-juice_!" + +Between laughing and blushing, the fair subject of this badinage made +but a faint show of resistance; but, at this juncture, she managed to +say, as she turned to me, with a most courteous bow. + +"I very much question whether the sentiments expressed by any flower can +more readily touch the heart, than that _I_ have known conveyed by a +_teaspoonful of brandy_!" + +"Bravo!" cried Mr. Y----. + +"Well done, Jule!" echoed my hostess. + +And I!--my feelings were too deep for words! I could only lay my hand +upon my heart, and raise my eyes to the ceiling. + + * * * * * + +Perhaps there is no better test of the unexceptionableness of a habit, +than to _suppose it generally adopted, and infer the consequences_. I +remember some such reflection, in connection with a little circumstance +that once fell under my observation:--Dining with a young Canadian, at +his residence in Kingston, C. W., I met, among other persons, an English +notability, of whom I had frequently heard and read. A slight pause in +the conversation, made doubly audible a loud yawn proceeding from one +corner of the dining-room, and, as a general look of surprise was +visible, a huge Newfoundland dog approached us, stretching his limbs, +and shaking from his shaggy coat anything but + + "Sabaean odors, from the spicy shores + Of Araby the Blest!" + +Our host endeavored to say something polite, and the animal, advancing +toward the celebrity, stationed himself, familiarly, at his master's +side, somewhat to the annoyance, probably, of the lady next him. + +With the utmost _sang froid_, the "privileged character" held his +finger-bowl to his dog, and remarked, as he eagerly lapped the contents, +that he had eaten highly-seasoned venison at lunch! + + * * * * * + +"Foreigners," says Madame de Stael, "are a kind of contemporaneous +posterity." This truth apart, I had sufficient reason to blush for my +country, on more than one occasion, lately, while travelling at the +West, in company with a well-bred young European. His own manners were +so pleasing as to render more striking the peculiarities of others, and +his habits so refined, as, when united with his large observation and +intelligence, to make him an exceedingly agreeable person to associate +with. + +One hot day, during a portion of our journey performed by steamer, I +looked up from my book, and saw him coming toward me. + +"I have found a cool place, sir," said he, "and have come to beg you to +join me--we shall be undisturbed there." + +I rose, and was about to take up my seat. + +"Allow me, sir! I am the younger," said he; and he insisted upon +carrying my seat, as well as the one he had previously secured for +himself. And this was his habitual phrase, when there was any occasion +to allude to the difference in our years. He never said--"You are older +than I am," or insinuated that my lameness made me less active than he, +when he offered his arm, in our numerous promenades. The idea he seemed +ever studying to express was, that he had pleasure in the society of the +old soldier, and thought him entitled to respect and precedence on all +occasions. Aside from the personal gratification and comfort I derived +from these graceful and unremitting attentions, it was a source of +perpetual pleasure to me to observe his beautiful courtesy to all with +whom he came in contact. He had with him a land surveyor, or agent of +some sort; with this person he, apparently, found little in common, but, +when he had occasion to converse with him, I always remarked his +punctilious politeness. And so with his servant; he always _requested_, +never _ordered_, him to do what he wished. Reserved and laconic, when +giving him directions, there was yet a certain assuring kindliness in +his _voice_, that seemed to act like a talisman upon his man, who, +speaking our language very imperfectly, would have often suffered the +consequences of embarrassing mistakes, but for the clear, simple, +intelligible directions and explanations of his master. But to return. + +Scarcely were we seated quietly in the retired spot so carefully +selected by my friend, when a couple of young fellows came swaggering +along, and stationing themselves near us, began smoking, spitting and +talking so loudly, as to disturb and annoy us, exceedingly. + +"What a pity that this fine air should be so poisoned!" exclaimed my +companion, in French, glancing at the intruders. "For my part, _pure +air_ is good enough for me, without perfume!" + +"Do you never smoke?" I asked, in the same tongue. + +"Certainly! but I do not smoke _always_ and _everywhere_! Neither do I +think it decent to soil every place with tobacco-juice, as you do in +this country!" + +"It is infamous!" returned I. "Now just look at those fellows! See how +near they are to that group of ladies, and then look at the condition of +the deck all around them." As I spoke, the lady nearest the nuisance, +apparently becoming suddenly aware of her dangerous proximity, hurriedly +gathered her dress closely about her, and moved as far away as she could +without separating herself from her party. Despite these indications, +the shower continued to fall plentifully around, and the smoke to blow +into the faces of those who were so unfortunate as to be seated in the +neighborhood. + +"Have you not regulations to prevent such annoyances," inquired the +stranger. + +"Every steamer professes to have them, I believe," returned I, "but if +such vulgar men as these choose to violate them, no one even thinks of +insisting upon their enforcement--every one submits, and every one is +annoyed--that is, all decent people are!" + +"_Vive la Liberte et l'Egalite!_" exclaimed the European, laughing +good-humoredly. + +As if echoing the mirth of my companion, a merry laugh from the group of +ladies near us, arrested my attention at this moment. Without appearing +to remark them, I soon ascertained that they were amusing themselves +with the ridiculous figure presented by one of the smokers. His +associate had left him "alone in his glory," and there he sat, fast +asleep, with his mouth wide open, his hat over one eye, and his feet +tucked across under the seat of his chair, which supported only on its +hind legs, was tilted back against the side of the cabin. My description +can give you but a poor idea of the ludicrousness of the thing. One of +those laughing girls would have done it better! I overheard more than +one of their droll comments. + +"What if his chair should upset, when he 'catches fish!'" exclaimed a +pretty little girl, looking roguishly from under her shadowing round +straw hat. + +"There is more danger that that wasp will fly down his throat," replied +another of the gay bevy. "What a yawning cavern it is! That wasp is +hovering over the 'crack of doom!'" + +"He reminds me rather of Daniel in the lion's den," put in a third. + +"Let's move our seats before he wakes up," cried one of the girls, as +the nondescript made a slight demonstration upon a fly that had invaded +his repose. "He is protected by the barricade he has surrounded himself +with--like a upas-tree in the centre of its own vile atmosphere--but +_we_, unwary travellers, are not equally safe!" + +A day or two afterwards, these very young men were just opposite me at +table, in a hotel in one of our large Western cities. + +They were well dressed (with the exception of _colored shirts_) and +well-looking enough, but, after what I had previously seen of them, I +was not surprised to observe their habits of eating. One would throw up +both arms, and clasp his hands over his head, while waiting for a +re-supply of food; the other stop, now and then, to _lay off_ his bushy +moustache, so as to make more room for the shovelling process he kept up +with his knife, for the more rapid disappearance of a large goblet of +water at one swallowing, or for the introduction of a mammoth ear of +corn, which he took both hands to hold, while he gobbled up row after +row, with inconceivable rapidity. Then one would manipulate an enormous +drum-stick, while he lolled comfortable back in his chair, grievously +belaboring his voluminous beard, the while, and leaving upon it an +all-sufficient substitute for maccassar, and the other, simultaneously +make a loud demonstration with his pocket-handkerchief, or upon his +head. Now one would stretch out his legs under the table, until he +essentially invaded my reserved rights, and then the other insert his +tongue first in one cheek, and then in the other, rolling it vigorously +round, as a cannoneer would swab out a great gun with his sponge, before +re-loading! Flushed, heated, steaming, the heaps of sweet-potato skins, +bones, and bits of food profusely scattered over the soiled cloth, fully +attested the might of their achievements! + +Much of this, as I said, I was prepared for, but I was somewhat +surprised by what followed. + +I had sent for a quail, I think, or some other small game, and was +preparing to discuss its merits, when one of these young men, reaching +over, stuck his fork into the bird, and transferred it to his own +plate! + +I saw at a glance that no offense was intended to me--that the seeming +rudeness was simply the result of vulgarity and ignorance; so I very +quietly directed the servant to bring me another bird. + +Scarcely was the second dish placed before me, when the other youth of +this delectable pair exactly repeated the action of his companion, and I +again found myself minus my game. + +"_Mon Dieu!_" cried my young foreign friend, "if you can endure that, +you are a hero, sir!" + +An hour or two subsequent to this agreeable incident, I was again seated +in the cars, and hearing a noise behind me, soon satisfied myself that +my neighbors at dinner that day were to be my neighbors still, and that +they were at present busily employed in disputing with the conductor +respecting a seat next their own, which they wished to monopolize for +the accommodation of their legs, and which, in consequence of the +crowded state of the cars, the man insisted upon filling with other +passengers. Presently there came in a pale, weary-looking woman, with a +wailing infant in her arms and another young child clinging to her +garments. She found a seat where she could, and sinking into it, +disposed of a large basket she had also carried, and commenced trying to +pacify the baby. + +Here was a fit subject for the rude jests and jibes of the young fellows +I have described. And full use did they make of their vulgar license of +tongue. The poor mother grew more and more distressed as those unfeeling +comments reached her ears from time to time, and at each outbreak from +the infant strove more nervously to pacify it. + +I observed that a good-humored looking, large, handsome man, who sat a +little before this woman, frequently glanced round at the child, and +sought to divert its attention by various little playful motions. At +length, when the cars stopped for a few minutes, out he sallied, in all +haste, and presently returned with his hands full of fruits and cakes. +Offering a liberal share of these to the woman and her little girl, +after distributing some to his party, he reserved a bright red apple, +and said cheerily to the mother: "Let me take your little boy, ma'am, I +think I can quiet him." + +The little urchin set up a loud scream, as he found himself in the +strong grasp of the stranger; but, a few moments' perseverance effected +his benevolent purpose. Tossing the boy up, directing his attention to +the apple, and then carrying him through the empty car a turn or two, +sufficed to chase away the clouds and showers from what proved to be a +bright, pretty face, and very soon the amiable gentleman returned to his +seat, saying very quietly to the woman, as he passed her, "We will keep +your little child awhile, and take good care of him." The baby was +healthy-looking, and its clothes, though plain, were entirely clean--so +the poor thing was by no means a disagreeable plaything for the young +lady beside whom the gentleman was seated. For some little time they +amused themselves in this humane manner, and then the young man gently +snugged the weary creature down upon his broad chest, and there it lay +asleep, like a flower on a rock, nestled under a shawl, and firmly +supported by the enfolding arm that seemed unconscious of its light +burden. + +Meantime the pale, tired mother regaled herself with the refreshments so +bountifully provided for her, watching the movements of the little group +before her with evident satisfaction; and at length settled herself for +a nap in the corner of her seat, with the other child asleep in her lap. + +The noisy comments of the "fast" young men in the rear of the car became +less audible and offensive, I noticed, after the stranger came to the +rescue, and when I passed their seat, afterwards, I could not be +surprised at their comparative silence, upon beholding the enormous +quantity of pea-nut shells and fruit skins with which the floor was +strewn, and noticing the industry with which they were squirting tobacco +juice over the whole. + +By-and-by the cars made another pause. The mother of the little boy +roused herself and looked hastily round for her treasures. Upon this the +young lady who occupied the seat with her new friend came to her and +seemed reassuring her. As soon as the thronging crowd had passed out, I +heard her saying, as I caught a peep at the sweetest face, bent +smilingly towards the woman--"I made a nice little bed for him, as soon +as the next seat was empty, and he is still fast asleep. Does he like +milk? Mr. Grant will get some when he wakes--it is so unpleasant for a +lady to get out of the cars." (Here the woman seemed to make some +explanation, and a shadow of sympathy passed over the smiling face I was +admiring, as one sees a passing cloud move above a sunny landscape.) +"Well, we will be glad to be of use to you, as far as we go on," pursued +the fair girl; "I will find out all about it, and tell you before we +leave the cars. Now, just rest all you can--let me put this shawl up a +little higher--there! It is such a relief to get off one's bonnet! I'll +put it up for you. The little girl had better come with me.--Oh, no, she +will not, I am sure! What's your name, dear? Mary! that's the prettiest +name in the world! everybody loves Mary! I have such a pretty book to +show you"--and having tucked up the object of her gentle care in quite a +cosy manner, while she was saying this, the good girl gave a pretty, +encouraging little nod to the woman, and went back, taking the other +juvenile with her, to her own place. When her companion joined her, she +looked up in his face with a beaming, triumphant sort of a smile, and, +receiving a response in the same expressive language, all seemed quite +understood between them. + +"What an angel!" exclaimed the young European, in his favorite tongue, +as he re-entered the car, and caught part of this little by-scene. "Do +you know what she said to that poor woman?" + +I gave him all the explanation in my power. His fine eyes kindled. "She +is as good as she is beautiful! Have you remarked the magnificent head +of the gentleman with her? What a superb profile he has--so classic! +And his broad chest--there's a model for a bust! I happened to be in the +studio of your celebrated countryman, Powers, at Florence, with my +father, who was sitting to him, when the great Thorwaldsen came to visit +him. Boy, as I was, at that time, I remember his words, as he stood +before the bust of your Webster: '_I cannot make such busts!_' But was +it not, sir, because he had no such _models_ as your country affords?" +These were courteous words; but I do them poor justice in the record; I +cannot express the voice and manner from which they received their +charm. + +Well, at the risk of tiring you, I hasten to conclude my little sketch. +I amused myself by quietly watching the thing through, and noticed, +towards evening, that the amiable strangers went together to the woman +they had befriended, after the gentleman had been into the hotel, before +which we were standing, seemingly to make some inquiry for her. Both +talked for a few minutes, apparently very kindly, to her and to the +children, and seemed to encourage her by some assurance as they parted. +As they were turning away, the grateful mother rose, and, snatching the +hand first of one, and then of the other, burst out, with a "God bless +you both!" so fervent as to be audible where I sat. + +"Don't speak of such a trifle!" returned the youth, in a clear, distinct +voice, raising his noble form to its full height, and flashing forth the +light of his falcon eye; "for my part, I am very glad to be able to do a +little good as I go along in the world!" + +In a few moments the handsome stranger was seen carefully placing his +fair travelling companion in an elegant carriage, where a lady was +awaiting them, and upon which several trunks were already strapped. +While cordial greetings were still in progress between the trio, a +well-dressed servant gave the reins to a superb pair of dark bays, and +in another instant they were flying along in the direction of a +stately-looking mansion of which I caught sight in the distance. + +"Who the d---- is that fellow?" shouted one of the pair in the rear. "I +say, porter," stretching his body far out of the car window, and +beckoning to a man on the steps of the neighboring building, "What's the +name of those folks in that carriage? dev'lish pretty girl, I swear!" + +"Sir-r-r?" answered Paddy, coming to the side of the car, and pulling +his dirty cap on one side of his head with one hand, while he operated +upon his carroty hair with the fingers of the other; "what's yer honor's +plaizure?" + +"I say, what's the name of that gentleman who has just gone off in that +carriage there?" + +"Oh! sure that's young Gineral Grant; him that owns the fine house +beyant--I hear tell he's the new Congressman, sir!" + +"_Bien!_" whispered my foreign friend, laughing heartily, "this _is_ a +great country! you do things upon so large a scale here, that one must +not wonder when _extremes meet_!" + + * * * * * + +"What, coz, still sitting with your things on, waiting? Haven't you been +impatient?" + +"Oh, no, not at all, I've been reading." + +"Well, but, do you know it's twelve o'clock? We were to start at +half-past ten. What did you think of me for delaying so long?" + +"I was afraid some accident had happened; but I could see nothing from +the window, and I did not like to go out on the portico alone." + +"Then you did not think me careless, and were not vexed?" + +"Not I, indeed! I was sure you would come if you could, and was only +anxious about you, as you were to try that new horse. I did not take off +my bonnet, because I kept expecting you every moment." + +"And I kept expecting to come every moment--that devilish animal! I +tried to send you word, but I could not get sight of a servant--confound +the fellows! they are always out of the way when one wants them." + +"But, Charley, dear, what about the horse? Has he really troubled you? I +am sorry you bought him." + +"Oh, I've conquered him! it wouldn't have taken me so long before I had +that devilish fever! But, come, cozzy dear, will you go now, or is your +patience all gone?" + +"I would like the drive--but, Charley, had we not better put it off +until to-morrow morning? You must be tired out, and, perhaps, the horse +will continue to trouble you." + +"No, no--come, come along, if you are willing to go." + +Now, Charley and his cousin were together at a little rural +watering-place, in search of change of air and scene. Charley had been +recently ill, and, as he chanced to be separated from his family at the +time, was particularly fortunate in having had the gentle ministrations +of Belle, as he usually called her, at command, during his +convalescence. + +Belle was an orphan, without brothers, and she clung to Charley with the +tenacity of a loving heart, deprived of its natural resources. +Temporarily relieved from her duties as a teacher, her cousin invited +her to accompany him in this little tour, in pity for the languor that +was betrayed by her drooping eyes, and lagging step; and his kindly +nurse, flattering herself that her "occupation" was not yet quite +"gone," was only too happy to escape from her city prison, under such +safe and agreeable protection. Yielding and quiet, as she ordinarily +was, Belle had very strict notions of propriety on some points. So, when +she and her cousin were making their final arrangements, before +commencing their journey, she laid upon the table before him, a +bank-note of considerable amount, with the request that he would +appropriate it to the payment of her travelling expenses. + +"Time enough for that, by-and-by, coz." + +"No, if you please, Charley. It is enough that you will be burdened by +the care of me, without having your purse taxed, too. Just be so good as +to keep a little account of what you pay for me--remembering porterage, +carriage-hire, and such matters--ladies always have the most luggage." +And a little hand playfully smoothed the doubled paper upon the cuff of +Charley's coat-sleeve, and left it lying there. + +Her cousin very well knew that this bank-note comprised a large portion +of Belle's quarterly salary, though she made no allusion to the matter; +and, though his own resources were moderate, men so much more easily +acquire money than women--well, never mind! people differ in their ideas +of _luxury_. + +Charley had some new experiences in this little tour of his and Belle's. +He had an idea, previously, that "women are always a bother, in +travelling," and he found himself sorely puzzled to make out, exactly, +what trouble it was to have his cousin always ready to read to him, when +they sat together on the deck of a steamer, or while he lay on the sofa +at a hotel, to claim the comfortable seat at her side in a rail-car, to +have her keep his cane and book, while he went out to chat with an +acquaintance, watch when he grew drowsy, and softly gather his shawl +about his neck, and make a pillow of her own for him, or to see the tear +that sometimes gathered in her meek eyes, when she acknowledged any +little courtesy on his part. Then, when, after they were settled in +their snug quarters, at the watering-place, Belle, half-timidly, sat a +moment on his knee, and, looking proudly round upon the order she had +brought out of chaos, among his toilet articles, books, and clothes, +said--"Oh, what a happy week I have to thank you for, dear cousin +Charley! You have done so many, many kind things for me, all the way! I +have had to travel alone almost always since pa's--since"--he was really +quite at a loss to know what "kind things" she referred to, and said so. + +"Why, Charley!" returned she, making a vigorous effort to get over the +choking feeling that had suddenly assailed her, upon alluding to her +deceased father, "don't you know--no, you don't know, what a happiness +it is to a poor, lonely thing, like me, to have some one to take care of +her luggage, and pay her fare, and all those things? I know, in this +country, women can travel alone, safely--quite so; but it isn't +pleasant, for all that, to go into crowds of rough men, without any one. +The other evening, at New Haven, for instance, it was quite dark, when +we landed, and those hackmen made such a noise, and crowded so--but I +felt just as safe, and comfortable, while sitting waiting for you in the +carriage, all the while you were gone back about our trunks! Oh, you +can't realize it, Charley, dear!" and the fair speaker shook her head, +with a mournful earnestness, that expressed almost as much sober +truthfulness, as appealing femininity. + +But about this morning drive. + +With the trusting confidence for which her sex have such an infinite +capacity, Belle yielded at once to the implied wish of her temporary +protector, and they were soon rolling along, in a light, open carriage, +through deeply-shadowing woods and across little brooklets which were +merrily disporting themselves under the trees. + +The poor wild-wood bird, so long caged, yet ever longing to be free, +carolled and mused by turns, or permitted her joyous nature to gush out +in exclamations of delight. + +"What delicious air!" she exclaimed. "Really it exhilarates one, like a +cordial. Oh, Charley, dear, look at those flowers! May I get out for +them? Do let me! I won't be gone a minute. Just you sit still, and hold +your war-steed. Don't be so ceremonious as to alight; I need no +assistance." And with a bound the happy creature was on her feet, and in +an instant dancing along, to the music of her own glad voice, over the +soft grass. + +Too considerate to encroach upon his patience unduly, Belle soon +reseated herself beside Charley, with a lap full of floral treasures. + +"Here are enough for bouquets for both our rooms," said she; "how fresh +and fragrant they are! + + 'They have tales of the joyous woods to tell, + Of the free blue streams and the glowing sky.' + +Bless God for flowers--_and friends_!" + +As the artless girl fervently uttered the last words, she turned a pair +of sweet blue eyes, into which tears of gratitude and pleasure had +suddenly started, upon the face of her companion. What a painful +revulsion of feeling was produced by that glance! She scarcely +recognized the face of her cousin, so completely had gloom and +discontent usurped the place of his usual hilarious expression. What +_could_ be the matter? Had she offended him! + +Repressing, with quick tact, all manifestations of surprise, though her +frame thrilled, as if from a heavy blow, Belle was silent for a while, +and then said in a subdued tone that contrasted strangely with her +former bird-like glee--"Your horse goes nicely now, Charley, doesn't he? +You seem to have effectually conquered him; but I am sure you must be +tired, now, dear cousin, you have been out so long. Had we not better +return?" + +"Why, you have had no ride at all yet, Isabella," returned the young +man, in a voice that was as startling to his sensitive auditor as his +altered countenance had been. + +"Oh, yes, I have," she quickly answered, endeavoring to speak as +cheerfully as possible, "I have enjoyed myself so much that I ought to +be quite contented to go back, and I really think we'd better do so." + +Charley's only response was turning his horse's head homeward. For a +while they drove on in silence, Belle's employment of arranging her +flowers now wholly mechanical, so engrossing was the tumult in her +heart. + +Just as they came in sight of their hotel, the unruly animal that had +already occasioned his new owner so much trouble, stopped, and stood +like a wooden effigy in the middle of the road. + +In vain did word and whip appeal to his locomotive powers. At length the +pent-up wrath that had apparently been gathering fury for the last hour +burst forth. + +"Devilish brute! I never was so shamefully imposed upon! I wish to G---- +I never had set foot in this infernal hole! There's no company here fit +for a decent fellow to associate with. I shall die of stupidity in a +week--particularly if I have to drive such a confounded concern as +this!" Here followed a volley of mingled blows and curses. + +The terrified witness of this scene sat tremblingly silent, for a time, +clinging to the side of the carriage, as if to keep herself quiet. +Presently she said: + +"Perhaps I'd better jump out and run to the house, and send some one out +to assist you." + +"You may get out, if you choose," answered her cousin, gruffly, "but I +want no assistance about the horse. I'll break every bone in his body, +but I'll conquer his devilish temper!" + +After another pause, Belle said, "Well, Charley, if you please, I will +walk on. I am sorry you are so annoyed," she added, timidly, carefully +averting her pale face from him; "but perhaps this is only a phase, and +he may never do so again." + +Her companion broke into a loud, mocking laugh. "What in thunder do you +know about horses, Isabella?" + +"Nothing, Charley--nothing in the world," returned his cousin, quickly, +in the gentlest voice, "I only"---- + +"Ye-es!" drawled the angry youth, "I know--some women think their +'_ready wit_' will enable them to talk upon any subject! Get up, now, +you rascal, will you?" + +Belle knew her weakness too well to trust herself to speak, so, drawing +her veil closely about her face, and gathering up her shawl and her +flowers, she stepped from the low carriage with assumed composure, and +bowing slightly, walked towards the house. + +Meeting a servant, at the foot of the stairs, she said, very quietly, +"Mr. Cunningham will be here in a few minutes with his horse; I hope +some one will be ready to take him," and passed on. This was all she +_dared_ to do, in aid of the exasperated youth. + +Once in her own room, it seemed but the work of a moment for the +agitated girl to throw off her shawl and bonnet, and transport some +light refreshments she had previously prepared, across the passage to +her cousin's room, to draw up his lounging chair to the table, and with +a few skillful touches to give that air of comfort to the +simply-furnished apartment which it had been her daily pleasure to +impart to it. + +This self-imposed task achieved, she flew, like a guilty intruder, to +her own little asylum, and locking the door, flung herself upon the bed, +burying her face in the pillows. + +But though her quick, convulsive sobs were stifled, they shook her +slight, sensitive form till it quivered in every nerve, like a delicate +exotic suddenly exposed to the blasts of a northern winter. + +By-and-by a sound roused her from this agony of tears. + +"There is the first dinner-gong," said she, to herself, starting up, +"what shall I do? Perhaps Charley won't like it if I don't go to dinner. +My head aches dreadfully. I don't mind that so much, but (looking in the +glass) my face is so flushed. I wouldn't for the world vex Charley, I'm +sure." With this she began some hasty toilet preparations; but her hands +trembled so violently as to force her to desist. + +Wrapping her shivering form in her shawl, she sat down on a low chair, +and again gave way to emotions which gradually shaped themselves thus: + +"I am so sorry I came with Charley. He was never anything but kind till +we came here. And then I should have, at least, had nothing but pleasant +things to remember. But now--I am afraid Charley is ashamed of me; he +looked at my dress so scrutinizingly this morning, when he came to my +door. I know I'm not the least fashionable; but Mrs. Tillou is, and she +complimented me on this _neglige_--it is soiled now, and my pretty +slippers, too, walking back through the mud! 'Isabella!' How cold and +strange it sounded! I am so used to 'cozzy dear,' and have learned to +love it so. My poor heart!" pressing both hands upon her side as if to +still a severe pang. Then she rose, and creeping slowly along the floor, +swallowed some water, and seating herself at the table, drew writing +materials towards her. Steadying her hand with great effort, and every +moment pressing her handkerchief to her eyes, she achieved the following +note: + + "Having a little headache to-day, dear Charley, I prefer not to + dine, if you will excuse me. I will be quite ready to meet you in + the parlor before tea. + + "Ever yours, + "BELLE. + + "_Tuesday Morning._" + +Designing to accompany this with some of the flowers she now remembered, +for the first time since her return from her ill-starred morning +excursion, Belle hastily re-arranged the prettiest of them in a little +bouquet. As she removed an already withered wild-rose from among its +companions, a solitary tear fell upon its shrivelled petals. "Perhaps," +she murmured mournfully, with a heavy sigh, "I should have made another +idol,--perhaps I should soon have learned to _love Charley too well_, if +this chastening had not come upon me--could he have thought so?" As she +breathed this query, the small head was suddenly thrown back, like that +of a startled gazelle, and a blush so vivid and burning as to pale the +previous flush of agitation, flashed over cheek and brow. + +Quickly ringing the bell, and carefully concealing herself from +observation, behind the door, when she half-opened it, the servant who +answered her summons was requested to hand the note and flowers to Mr. +Cunningham, if he was in his room, and if not, to place them where he +would "be sure to see them when he came up." + +"When will I ever learn," said Belle, in a tone of bitter self-reproach, +as she re-locked the door, "not to cling and trust,--not + + ----"to make idols, and to find them clay!" + +"I have not seen you looking so well since you came here, Miss +Cunningham," said a gentleman to Belle, joining her as she was entering +the public parlor that evening. "Do allow me to felicitate you! What a +brilliant color!--You were driving this morning, were you not? No doubt +you are indebted to your cousin for the bright roses in your cheeks!" + + * * * * * + +And now, my dear young friends, let me only add, in concluding this +lengthened letter, that, had I early acquired the _habit of writing_, +you would, doubtless, have less occasion to criticise these +effusions--attempted, for your benefit, at too late a period of life to +enable me to render them what I could wish. Use them as _beacons_, since +they cannot serve as _models_! + + Adieu! + HENRY LUNETTES. + + + + +LETTER XI. + +MENTAL AND MORAL EDUCATION. + + +MY DEAR NEPHEWS: + +Having touched, in our preceding letters, upon matters relating to +Physical Training, Manner, and the lighter accomplishments that +embellish existence, we come now to the _inner life_--to the Education +of the Mind and Heart, or Soul of Man. + +Metaphysicians would, I make no doubt, find ample occasion to cavil at +the few observations I shall venture to offer you on these important +subjects, and, painfully conscious of my total want of skill to treat +them in detail, I will only attempt a few desultory suggestions, +intended rather to impress you with the importance I attach to +_self-culture_, than to furnish you with full directions regarding it. + +The genius of our National Institutions pre-supposes the truth that +education is within the power of all, and that all are capable of +availing themselves of its benefits. Education, in the highest, truest +sense, does not involve the necessity of an elaborate system of +scientific training, with an expenditure of time and money entirely +beyond the command of any but the favored few who make the exception, +rather than the rule, in relation to the race in general. + +Happily for the Progress of Humanity, the "will to do, the soul to +dare," are never wholly subject to the control of outer circumstance, +and here, in our free land, they are comparatively untrammeled. + +"There are two powers of the human soul," says one of our countrymen, +distinguished for a knowledge of Intellectual Science, "which make +self-culture possible, the _self-searching_, and the _self-forming_ +power. We have, first, the faculty of turning the mind on itself; of +recalling its past, and watching its present operations; of learning its +various capacities and susceptibilities; what it can do and bear; what +it can enjoy and suffer; and of thus learning, in general, what our +nature is, and what it is made for. It is worthy of observation, that we +are able to discern not only what we already are, but what we may +become, to see in ourselves germs and promises of a growth to which no +bounds can be set; to dart beyond what we have actually gained, to the +idea of perfection at the end of our being." + +Assuming that to be the most enlightened system of education which tends +most effectively to develop all the faculties of our nature, it is +impossible, practically, to separate moral and religious from +intellectual discipline. If we possess the _responsibility_ as well as +the capacity of self-training--that must be a most imperfect system, one +most unjust to our better selves, which cultivates the intellectual +powers at the expense of those natural endowments, without which, man +were fitter companion for fiends than for higher intelligences! + +Pursued beyond a certain point, education, established upon this basis, +may not facilitate the acquisition of wealth; and if this were the +highest pursuit to which it can be made subservient, effort, beyond that +point, were useless. But if we regard the acquirement of money chiefly +important as affording the essential means of gratifying the tastes, +providing for the necessities, and facilitating the exercise of the +moral instincts of our being, we return, at once, to our former +position. + +"_He, therefore, who does what he can to unfold all his powers and +capacities, especially his nobler ones, so as to become a +well-proportioned, vigorous, excellent, happy being, practises +self-culture._" + +Those of you who have enjoyed the advantages of a regular course of +intellectual training, will need no suggestion of mine to aid you in +mental discipline; but possibly a few hints on this point may not be +wholly useless to others. + +The general dissemination of literature, in forms so cheap as to be +within the reach of all, renders _reading_ a natural resource for +purposes of amusement as well as instruction. But they who are still so +young as to make the acquisition of knowledge the proper business of +life, should never indulge themselves in reading for _mere amusement_. +Never, therefore, permit yourselves to pass over words or allusions, +with the meaning of which you are unacquainted, in works you are +perusing. Go at once to the fountain-head--to a dictionary for +unintelligible words, to an encyclopedia for general information, to a +classical authority for mythological and other similar facts, etc., etc. +You will not read _as fast_, by adopting this plan, but you will soon +realize that you are, nevertheless, advancing much more rapidly, in the +truest sense. When you have not works of reference at command, adopt the +practice of making brief memoranda, as you go along, of such points as +require elucidation, and avail yourself of the earliest opportunity of +seeking a solution of your doubts. And do not, I beg of you, think this +too laborious. The best minds have been trained by such a course. Depend +upon it, _genius_ is no equivalent for the advantage ultimately derived +from patient perseverance in such a course. I remember well, that to the +latest year of his life, my old friend, De Witt Clinton, one of the +noblest specimens of the race it has been my fortune to know, would +spring up, like a boy, despite his stiff knee, when any point of doubt +arose, in conversation, upon literary or scientific subjects, and hasten +to select a book containing the desired information, from a little +cabinet adjoining his usual reception-room. His was a genuine _love of +learning_ for its own sake; and the toil and turmoil of political life +never extinguished his early passion, nor deprived him of a taste for +its indulgence. + +Moralists have always questioned the wisdom of indulging a taste for +fictitious literature, even when time has strengthened habit and +principle into fixedness. The license of the age in which we live, +renders futile the elaborate discussion of this question of ethics. But, +while permitting yourselves the occasional perusal of works of poetry +and fiction, do not so far indulge this taste as to stimulate a +disrelish for more instructive reading. And, above all, do not permit +yourselves to acquire an inclination for the unwholesome stimulus of +licentiousness, in this respect. Every man of the world should know +something of the belle-lettre literature of his own language, at least, +and, as a rule, the more the better; but, + + "Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise;" + +and the vile translations from profligate foreign literature, which +have, of late years, united with equally immoral productions in our own, +to foster a corrupt popular taste, cannot be too carefully avoided by +all who would escape moral contagion. + +You will find the practice of noting fine passages, felicitous modes of +expression, novel thoughts, etc., as they occur even in lighter literary +productions, not unworthy of your attention. It will serve, +collaterally, to assist in the formation of a pure style of conversation +and composition, a consideration of no small importance for those whose +future career will demand facility in this regard. Carlyle has somewhere +remarked that, "our public men are all gone to tongue!" This +peculiarity of the times, may, to some extent, have grown out of its new +and peculiar social and political necessities. But, whether that be so, +or not, since such is the actual state of things, let all new +competitors for public distinction seek every means of securing ready +success. + +While I would not, without reservation, condemn the perusal of +fictitious literature, I think you will need no elaborate argument to +convince you of the superior importance of a thorough familiarity with +_History_ and general _Science_. + +Let me, also, commend to your attention, well-chosen _Biography_, as +affording peculiarly impressive incentives to individual effort, and, +often, a considerable amount of collateral and incidental information. +The Life of Johnson, by Boswell, for instance, which, as far as I know, +still retains its long-accorded place at the very head of this class of +composition (some critic has recorded his wonder that the best biography +in our language should have been written by a _fool_!) contains a world +of information, respecting the many celebrated contemporaries of that +great man, the peculiarities of social life in England, at his day, and +the general characteristics of elegant literature. So, of Lockhart's +Life of Scott, and other records of literary life. The lives of such men +as Shelley, and Coleridge, afford an impressive warning to the +young--teaching, better than a professed homily, how little talents, +unguided by steadfastness of purpose and principle, avail for usefulness +and happiness. The examples of Lord Nelson, Howard, Mungo Park, Robert +Hall, Franklin, and Washington, may well be studied, in detail, for the +lessons they impress upon all. And so, of many of the brave and the good +of our race--I but name such as passingly occur to me. + +Do not permit newspaper and magazine reading to engross too much of your +time, lest you gradually fall into a sort of _mental dissipation_, which +will unfit you for more methodical literary pursuits. + +A cultivated taste in Literature and Art, as, indeed, in relation to all +the embellishments and enjoyments of life, is, properly, one of the +indications, if not the legitimate result, of thorough mental education. +But, while you seek, by every means within your control, to enlarge the +sphere of your perceptions, and to elevate your standard of intellectual +pleasures, carefully avoid all semblance of conscious superiority, all +_dilettanti_ pretension, all needless technicalities of artistic +language. Remember that _modesty_ is always the accompaniment of true +merit, and that the smattering of knowledge, which the condition of Art +in our infant Republic alone enables its most devoted disciples to +acquire, ill justifies display and pretension, in this respect. So, with +regard to matters of literary criticism--enjoy your own opinions, and +seek to base them upon the true principles of art; but do not inflict +crudities and platitudes upon others, under the impression that, because +of recent acquisition to a tyro in years, and in learning, they are +likely to strike mature minds with the charm of novelty! Thus, too, with +scientific lore. If Sir Isaac Newton only gathered "pebbles on the +shore" of the limitless ocean of knowledge, we may well believe that + + ----"Wisdom is a pearl, with most success + Sought in still water." + +Let me add, while we are, incidentally, upon this matter of personal +pretension, that to observing persons such a manner often indicates +internal distrust of one's just claims to one's social position, while, +on the contrary, quiet self-possession, ease and simplicity, are equally +expressive of self-respect and of an entire certainty of the tacit +admission of one's rights by others. Nothing is more underbred than the +habit of taking offense, or fancying one's self slighted, on all +occasions. It betokens either intense egotism, or, as I have said, +_distrust of your rightful position_--that you are embittered by +struggling with the world--neither of which suppositions should be +betrayed by the bearing of a man of the world. Maintain outward +serenity, let the torrent rage as it may within, and _never allow the +world to know its power to wound you through your undue sensitiveness_! + +Well has the poet asserted that + + "Truth's a discovery made by _travelled minds_." + +No one who can secure the advantage of seeing life and manners in every +varying phase, should fail to add this to the other branches of a polite +education. Do not imbibe the impression, however, that merely going +abroad is _travelling_, in the just sense of the term. + + "Oft has it been my lot to mark, + A proud, conceited, talking spark, + Returning from his finished tour, + Grown ten times perter than before. + Whatever word you chance to drop, + The travelled fool your mouth will stop:-- + 'Sir, if _my_ judgment you'll allow, + I've _seen_, and sure _I_ ought to know!' + So begs you'll pay a due submission, + And acquiesce in his decision." + +Send a fool to visit other countries, and he will return--only a +"_travelled_ fool!" But give a rightly-constituted man opportunities for +thus enriching and expanding his intellectual powers, and he returns to +his native land, especially if he be an American, a better citizen, a +more enlightened, discriminating companion and friend, and a more +liberal, useful, catholic Christian! + +Some knowledge of modern languages, especially of the French, has now +become an essential part of education. The value of this acquisition, +even for _home use_, can scarcely be over-estimated, and without a +familiarity with colloquial French, a man can hardly hope to pass muster +abroad. I will, however, hazard the general observation that, as a rule, +it is better to acquire a _thorough knowledge of one language_ (and of +French, pre-eminently, for practical availability) than a slight +acquaintance with several. Few persons, comparatively, in our active, +busy land, have leisure, at any period of life, for familiarizing +themselves with the literature of more than one language, besides their +own, and to possess the mere nomenclature of a foreign tongue is but to +have _the key_ to information. There is, of late, a fashion in this +matter, which has little else to recommend it than that it _is the +fashion_; and with persons of sense and intelligence there should be +some more powerful and satisfactory motive for the devotion of any +considerable portion of "_Time, nature's stock_." + +_Apropos_ of this, nothing is more likely to teach a true estimate of +the _value_ of _time_ than that perfection of education pronounced by +the philosopher of old to be the knowledge that we _know nothing_! In +other words, they only, who in some sort discern, by the light of +education, the vast field that lies unexplored before them, can have any +adequate conception of the care and discrimination with which they +should use that treasure of which alone it is '_a virtue to be +covetous_.' + +Nothing, perhaps, more unmistakably indicates successful self-culture +than the habitual exhibition of Tact. It may almost be called another +sense, growing out of the proper training of the several faculties of +body and mind. And though there is a vast natural difference between +persons of similar outward circumstances, in this respect, much may be +effected by attention and practice, in the acquisition of this +invaluable possession. Like self-possession, tact is one of the +essential, distinctive characteristics of good-breeding--the legitimate +expression of natural refinement, quick perceptions and kindly +sympathies. Cultivate it, then, my young friends, in common with every +elegant embellishment of the true gentleman! Do not confound it with +dissimulation or hypocrisy, nor yet regard it as the antagonist of +truthfulness, self-respect and manly dignity. On the contrary, it is the +best safeguard of courtesy, as well as of sensibility. + +Among useful methods of self-discipline, let me instance the benefit +resulting from the early adoption of a _code of private morality_, if +you will permit me to coin a phrase, composed of rules and maxims +adapted to your own personal needs and peculiarities of position and +mental constitution. Washington, I remember, adopted this practice, and +Mr. Sparks, or some one of his biographers, has preserved the record +from oblivion. It is many years since I came across these rules, and I +can no longer recall more than the fixed, though general, impression +that they embodied much practical wisdom and clearly indicated the +patient spirit of self-improvement for which the author was remarkable. +I commend them to you as a model. Perhaps the immortal biographer who +has now given the world a new life of his great namesake, will afford +you the means of satisfying yourselves personally of the correctness of +my impressions of them. + +In preparing this code for yourselves, I can give you no better guide +than that afforded by the truth expressively conveyed in the following +lines: + + "_'Tis wisely great to talk with our past hours, + To ask them what report they bore to Heaven, + And how they might have borne more welcome news._" + +That is a very imperfect conception of education which limits its +significance to _knowledge gained from books_. A profound acquaintance +with literary lore is often associated with total ignorance of the +actual world, of the laws that govern our moral and intellectual being, +and with an incapacity to discern the Beautiful, the True, the Good. +They only are _educated_, who have acquired that self-knowledge and +self-discipline which inspire a _disinterested love of our +fellow-beings, a reverence for Truth_--in the largest sense of the +term--_and the power of habitually exalting the higher faculties over +the animal propensities of our nature_. + +It is only, therefore, when man unites moral discipline with +intellectual culture, that he can be said to be truly educated; and the +most ambitious student of books should always bear in mind the truth +that the _free play of the intellect is promoted by the development of +moral perceptions_, and that mental education, even, does not so much +consist in loading the memory with facts, as in strengthening the +capacity for independent action--for judging, comparing, reflecting. + +"The connection between moral and intellectual culture is often +overlooked," says a celebrated ethical writer, "and the former +sacrificed to the latter. The exaltation of talent, as it is called, +above virtue and religion, is the curse of the age. Education is now +chiefly a stimulus to learning, and thus may acquire power without the +principles which alone make it a good. Talent is worshipped, but, if +divorced from rectitude, it will prove more of a demon than a god." + +Holding the opinion, then, that a fixed religious belief is the +legitimate result of a thorough cultivation of the mental and moral +endowments, and that their united and co-equal development constitutes +education, you will permit me to impress upon your attention the +importance of securing all the aid afforded by the _best lights_ +vouchsafed to us, in the search after Truth. Conscience is a blind +guide, until assisted by discriminating teaching, and honest, +persevering endeavors at self-enlightenment. For myself, my experience, +in this respect, has afforded me no assistance so reliable and efficient +as that to be gathered from the _Life of Jesus Christ_, as recorded by +his various biographers, and collected in the New Testament. I commend +its study, renewedly, to you, not in search of a substantiation of human +doctrines, not to determine the accuracy of particular creeds, but to +possess yourself of simple, intelligible, practicable directions for the +wise regulation of your daily life, and those ceaseless efforts at +self-advancement which should be the highest purpose of + + "A being breathing thoughtful breath, + A creature between life and death!" + +Accustomed to the standard established by Him who said, "Be ye, +therefore, perfect, even as I am perfect," we will not be deterred from +the steadfast pursuit of right by the imperfect exhibitions, so +frequently made, of its efficacy, in the lives of the professed +followers of the wonderful Nazarine. Conscious of the difficulties, the +temptations and the discomfitures that we ourselves encounter, we will +learn, not only to discriminate between the imperfections of the +disciple and the perfection of the Master, but to exercise that charity +toward others, of which self-examination teaches us the need, in our own +case. Thus, the Golden Rule, which so inclusively epitomizes the _moral +code_ of the Great Teacher, will come to be our guide in determining the +path of practical duty, and the course of self-culture, most essential +to the security of present happiness, and as a preparative for that +eternal state of existence, of which this is but the embryo. + +Thus, making God and conscience--which is the voice of God speaking +within us--the arbiter between our better nature and the impulses +excited by the grosser faculties, we shall be less tempted by outward +influences to lower the abstract standard we originally establish, or to +reconcile ourselves to an imperfect conformity to its requisitions. Far +less, will we permit ourselves to indulge the delusion that we are not, +each of us, personally obligated, by our moral responsibilities, _to +develop all the powers with which we are endowed, to their utmost +capacity_:-- + + "They build too low who build below the skies!" + +The most perfect of human beings was also the most humble and +self-sacrificing, so that they who endeavor to follow his example will +not only be devoid of self-righteous assumption, but actively devoted +to the good of their fellow-creatures, and, like Him, pityingly sensible +of the wants and the woes of humanity. + +That reverence for the spiritual nature of man, as a direct emanation +from Deity, which all should cherish, is, also, to be regarded as a part +of judicious self-culture. Cultivate an habitual recognition of your +celestial attributes, and strive to elevate your whole being into +congenial association with the divinity within you:--this do for the +benefit of others, + + "Be noble! and the nobleness that lies + In other men, sleeping, but never dead, + Will rise, in majesty, to meet thine own!" + +With so exalted an aim as I have proposed for your adoption, you will be +slow to tolerate _peccadilloes_, as of little moment, either in a +metaphysical or ethical point of view. Dread such tolerance, as sapping +the foundations of principle; learn to detect the insidious poison +lurking in Burke's celebrated aphorism, and in the infidel philosophy +that assumes the brightest semblances that genius can invent, the more +readily to deceive. Establish fixed principles of benevolence, justice, +truthfulness, religious belief, and adhere steadfastly to them, despite +the allurements of the world, the temptings of ambition, or weariness of +self-conflict. + +The _Pursuit of Happiness_ is but concentrated phraseology for the +purposes and endeavors of every human being. May you early learn to +distinguish between the _false_ and the _true_, between _pleasure_ and +_happiness_, early know your duty to yourselves, your country, and your +God! + +I will but add to these crude, but heart-engendered, observations, a few +lines, embodying my own sentiments, and in a form much more impressive +than I can command:-- + + "We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts, not breaths; + In feelings, not in figures on a dial. + We should count time by heart-throbs. _He most lives + Who thinks most, feels the noblest, acts the best._" + + * * * * * + +I have somewhere met with a little bagatelle, somewhat like this:-- + +Apollo, the god of love, of music, and of eloquence, weary of the +changeless brilliancy of Olympus, determined to descend to earth, and to +secure maintenance and fame, in the guise of a mortal, by _authorship_. +Accordingly, the incognito divinity established himself in an attic, +after the usual fashion of the sons of genius, and commenced inditing a +poem--a long epic poem, plying his pen with the patient industry +inspired by necessity, the best stimulus of human effort. At length, the +task of the god completed, he, with great difficulty, procured the means +of offering it to the world in printed form. The Epic of Apollo, the god +of Poetry, _fell, pre-doomed, from the press_. No commendatory review +had been secured, no fashionable publisher endorsed its merits. +Disgusted with the pursuit of the wealth and honors of earth, Apollo +returned to Olympus, bequeathing to mortals, this advice:--"_Would you +secure earthly celebrity and riches, do not attempt intellectual and +moral culture, but_ INVENT A PILL!" + + * * * * * + +Instances of the successful _pursuit of knowledge under difficulties_ +frequently present themselves in our contemporaneous history, both in +our own country and in foreign lands. Indeed, the history of the human +mind goes far toward proving that, not the pampered scions of rank and +luxury, but the hardy sons of poverty and toil, have been, most +frequently, the benefactors of the race. Well has the poet said:-- + + "The busy world shoves angrily aside + The man who stands with arms a-kimbo set, + Until occasion tell him what to do; + And he who waits to have his task marked out, + Shall die, and leave his errand unfulfilled." + +The _Learned Blacksmith_, as he is popularly called, acquired thirty, or +more, different languages, while daily working at his laborious trade. +He was accustomed to study while taking his meals, and to have an open +book placed upon the anvil, while he worked. A celebrated physiological +writer, alluding to the habits of this persevering devotee of philology, +says, that nothing but his uninterrupted practice of his Vulcan-tasks +preserved his health under the vast amount of mental labor he imposed +upon himself. + +Another of our distinguished countrymen, now a prominent popular orator, +is said to have accumulated food for future usefulness, while devoting +the energies of the outer man to the employment of _a wagoner_, amid the +grand scenic influences of the majestic Alleghanies. The early life of +Franklin, of the "Mill-boy of the Slashes," of Webster, and of many +others whose names have become watchwords among us, are, doubtless, +familiar to you, as examples in this respect. + + * * * * * + +Looking upon the busy active world around me,--as I sometimes like to +do--from behind the screen of my newspaper, seated in the reading-room +of a hotel, I became the auditor of the following conversation, between +two young men, who were stationed near a window, watching the passing +throng of a crowded thoroughfare. + +"By George! there's Van K----," exclaimed one, with unusual animation. + +"Which one,--where?" eagerly interrogated his companion. + +"That's he, this side, with the Byronic nose, and short steps--he's +great! What a fellow he is for making money, though!" + +"Does it by his talents, don't he?--nobody like him, in the Bar of this +State, for genius,--that's a fact--carries everything through by the +_force of genius_!" + +"Dev'lish clever, no doubt," assented the other, "but he used to study, +I tell you, like a hero, when he was younger." + +"Never heard that of him," answered the other youth, "how the deuce +could he? He has always been a _man about town_--real fashionable +fellow--practised always, since he was admitted, and everybody knows no +one dines out, and goes to parties with more of a rush than Van K----, +and he always has." + +"That may all be, but my mother, who has known him well for years, was +telling me, the other day, that those who were most charmed with his +wit, and belle-lettre scholarship, when he first came upon the _tapis_, +little knew the pains he took to accomplish himself. '_He exhibited the +result, not the machinery_,' she said, but he _did_ study, and study +hard, when other young fellows were asleep, or raising h----!" + +"As for that," interrupted the other, "he always did his full share of +all the deviltry going, or I am shrewdly mistaken!" + +"Nobody surpasses him at that, any more than at his regular trade," +laughed his companion--"oh, but he's rich! Jim Williams was telling me +(Jim studies with S---- and Van K----) how he put down old S---- the +other day. It seems S---- had been laid on the shelf with a +tooth-ache--dev'lish bad--face all swelled up--old fellow real sick, and +no mistake. Well, one morning, after he'd been gone several days, he +managed to pull up, and make his appearance at the office. It was +early--no one there but Van K---- and the boys--Jim and the rest of the +fellows--tearing away at the books and papers. So old S---- dropped down +in an arm-chair by the stove, and began a hifalutin description of his +sorrows and sufferings while he had been sick--quite in the 'pile on the +agony' style! Well, just as the old boy got fairly warmed up, and was +going it smoothly, Van K---- bawled out:--'Y-a-s! Mr. S----! will you +have time, this morning, to look over these papers, in the case of Smith +against Brown?' Jim said he never saw an old rip so cut down in all his +life, and, as soon as he went out, there was a general bust up, at his +expense!" + +"How confounded heartless!" exclaimed the elder youth, rising--"by +Heaven, I hope a man needn't set aside the common sympathies and +decencies of humanity, to secure success in his profession, or in +society!" and as he passed me, I caught the flush of manly indignation +that mantled his beardless cheek, and the lightning-flash of youthful +genius that enkindled his large blue eyes. + + * * * * * + +"What are you doing there, sir?" inquired one of the early Presidents of +our Republic, of his nephew, who was standing before an open +writing-desk, in his private apartment. + +"Only getting some paper and pencils, sir," replied the young man. + +"That stationery, sir, belongs to the Federal Government!" returned the +American patriot, impressively, and sternly, and resumed his previous +occupation. + + * * * * * + +Daniel Webster, in conversation with a familiar friend, said: + +"From the time that, at my mother's feet, or on my father's knees, I +first learned to lisp verses from the Sacred Writings, they have been my +daily study, and vigilant contemplation. If there be anything in my +style or thoughts worthy to be commended, the credit is due to my kind +parents, in instilling into my early mind a love for the Scriptures." + + * * * * * + +"How long will it take you," inquired Napoleon, of the young +brother-in-law of Junot, "to acquaint yourself with the Coptic language, +and be prepared to go to Egypt on a secret service?" + +"Three months, sire," replied the energetic Frenchman, with scarcely a +perceptible pause for consideration. + +"_Bien!_" returned the great Captain, "begin at once." And he moved on +in his briefly-interrupted walk, through the _salon_ of the beautiful +mother of the youth, saying to the Turkish Ambassador, who accompanied +his stroll:--"There is such a son as one might expect from such a +mother!" + +Three months from that night there left the private cabinet of Napoleon, +a stripling, of slight form and yet unsunned brow, charged by him who +_knew men by intuition_, with a task of fearful risk and +responsibility; and, on the morrow, he was embarked on the blue waters +of the Mediterranean, speeding toward a land where, from the heights of +the Pyramids, a thousand years would behold his deeds! + + * * * * * + +"I swear, I'll cut that woman! I'll never call there again, that I am +determined!" cried Paul Duncan, impetuously. + +"But why, brother? Don't judge too hastily," replied his sister, gently. +"The whole family have always been so kind to us; for my part, I think +one seldom meets persons of more polished manners, and"---- + +"Polished manners!" interrupted the irritable man, rudely, "what do you +call _polished manners_? I gave up R---- himself, just because he is so +devilish _un_-polished, long ago. He passed me, once or twice, in +Wall-street, with his head down, and didn't even bow! after that I let +him run!" + +"He is so engrossed in his philanthropic schemes that, I suppose, he +really did not see you," interposed his sister, mildly. "But the ladies +are not responsible for his peccadilloes." + +"No, they cannot answer for their own, _to me_," retorted the other, +with bitterness. "When I went in, last evening, she and her mother were +both in the room. The old lady rose, civilly enough, but Mrs. R---- kept +her seat, partly behind a table, even when I went to her and shook +hands." + +"Dear brother," expostulated his companion, "don't you know that Mrs. +R---- is not well? She has not been out in months." + +"What the devil, then, does she make her appearance for, if she can't +observe the common proprieties of life?" + +"I doubt whether you would have seen her, had she not been in the room +when you entered. Did she remain during the whole time of your call?" + +"Certainly; but the old woman slipped out, when some bustle appeared to +be going on in the hall, and never made her appearance again, at all, +only sending in a servant, just as I was going away, to say that she +'hoped to be excused, as her father had just arrived.'" + +"He is very aged, and she always attends upon him herself, when he is +there, even to combing his hair," explained the gentler spirit. "I +remember admiring her devotion to the old man, who is very peculiar, and +somewhat disagreeable to persons generally, when I was staying there a +day or two." + +"Well, well; what has that to do with her treatment of me? Couldn't she +trust him with the rest of the family for a few minutes? There is a +tribe of women always on hand there, besides a retinue of servants." + +"If you will permit me to say so, without offense, Charley," returned +the lady, with sudden determination of manner, "I fear you did not +display your usual _tact_ on the occasion, and that you, perhaps, took +offense at circumstances resulting from the embarrassment of our +friends, rather than from any intention to be impolite to you. Ladies +are not always equally well, equally self-possessed, equally in +company-mood, or company-dress. I don't know what might not befall any +of us, were we not judged of, by our friends rather by our general +manner to them, than by any little peculiarities, of which we may be +ourselves wholly unconscious at the time." + + * * * * * + +If you are as much impressed as I was, upon first perusing them, with +the following sentences from Sir Humphrey Davy's pen, you will require +no apology from me, for transcribing them here. + +"I envy no quality of mind or intellect in others--not of genius, power, +wit, or fancy; but, if I could choose what would be most delightful, +and, I believe, most useful, to me, I should prefer _a firm religious +belief_, to every other blessing, for it makes life a discipline of +goodness, creates new hope, when earthly hopes vanish, and throws over +the decay, the destruction, of existence, the most gorgeous of all +light; awakens life, even in death, and, from decay, calls up beauty and +divinity; makes an instrument of torture and shame the ladder of ascent +to Paradise; and, far above all combination of earthly hopes, calls up +the most delightful visions--palms and amaranths, the gardens of the +blessed, the security of everlasting joys, where the sensualist and the +skeptic view only gloom, decay, and annihilation." + +With these sublime words, my dear nephews, I bid you, affectionately, + + Adieu! + HENRY LUNETTES. + + + + +LETTER XII. + +CHOICE OF COMPANIONS AND FRIENDS--SELECTION OF A PURSUIT IN +LIFE--COURTSHIP--MARRIAGE--HOUSEKEEPING--PECUNIARY MATTERS, ETC. + + +MY DEAR NEPHEWS: + +I think it was Burke who said that those who desire to improve, should +always choose, as companions, persons of more knowledge and virtue than +themselves. He had, however, the happy faculty of eliciting information +from all with whom he came in contact, even as the bee extracts +sweetness from the most insignificant and unattractive flower. It is +said of him, you are aware, that he never took refuge under a projecting +eave for five minutes, to escape a shower, with another man, without +either giving or receiving instruction. + +His excellent habit in this respect, nevertheless, in no degree +invalidated the practical wisdom of the remark I have ascribed to this +celebrated statesman. It is not easy to attach too much importance to +the _choice of Companions and Friends_, especially during that period of +life when we are most susceptible to outward influences. + +Much enjoyment is derived from association with those whose tastes, +pursuits, and sentiments are similar to our own; but, in making a +selection in this respect, it is better to seek the companionship of +persons whose influence will have the effect to elevate rather than to +depress our own mental and moral standard. Hence, young persons will be +most improved by the example of those whose greater maturity of years +and acquirement give them the advantage of _experience_. + +Byron and others of the morbid school to which he belonged, or rather, +perhaps, which he originated, strove to establish as a truth, the +libellous charge that humanity is incapable of true, disinterested +friendship. Happily for the dignity and healthfulness of the youthful +mind, this affected misanthropy, having had its day, is dying the +natural death to which error is doomed, and we are again permitted to +respect our common nature without wholly renouncing our claims to poetic +sensibility! + +It seems, to my poor perceptions, that there needs no better test of the +capacities of our fellow-creatures, with regard to the nobler +sentiments, than _our own self-consciousness_! If we know ourselves +capable of lofty aspirations, of self-sacrifice for others' good, of +rejoicing in the happiness of our friends, of deep, enduring affection +for them, by what arrogant right shall we assume ourselves superior to +the race to which we belong? + +As the man who habitually rails at the gentler sex must, necessarily, +have been peculiarly unfortunate in his _earliest associations_ with +woman, so he who professes a disbelief in true friendship, may be +presumed, not only to have chosen his associates unwisely, but to be +himself ill-constituted and ill-disciplined. If + + ----"VIRTUE is more than a shade or a sound, + And man may her voice, in this being, obey," + +then is friendship one of the purest and highest sources of human +enjoyment! + +Eschew, then, the debasing, soul-restraining maxims of Byron, +Rochefoucauld, and their imitators, and seek in communion with the +gifted and the good, elevated enjoyment and inspiring incentives to +noble purposes and manly achievements. + +But if the old Spanish proverb, "_Show me your friends and I will tell +you what you are_," is applicable to the selection of ordinary +associates, of how much more significance is it in relation to +_confidants_! To require such a friend, pre-supposes the need of +_advice_, and only superiority in age and knowledge of the world and of +the human heart, can qualify any one for the responsibility thus +assumed. Nothing is more frequently volunteered by the inexperienced +than advice, while _they who properly appreciate its importance are the +least likely to give it unasked_. + +In connection with the subject of confidences and confidants, ponder +well the concentrated wisdom contained in this brief sentence: "Be +careful _of whom you speak, to whom you speak, and how, and when, and +where_." + +If from self-consciousness we draw conclusive proofs of the elevated +powers of our nature, we also learn, with equal certainty, the need that +all have of forbearance, lenity, and forgiveness. They who look for +_perfection_ in human companions, will entail upon themselves a +life-long solitude of spirit. Some one has prettily said that the fault +of a friend is like a flaw in a beautiful china vase; the defect is +remediless; let us overlook it, and dwell only upon what will give us +pleasure. + +It is almost useless to attempt to give you any advice with respect to +the choice of an occupation in life. I trust, however, that you need no +argument to convince you that respectability and happiness unitedly +require, let your pecuniary circumstances be what they may, that you +should have such an incentive to the due exercise of your powers of body +and mind. + +No consideration is, perhaps, more important than that of _following the +natural inclination_ in making this decision, provided outward +circumstances render it possible to do so; and in this country a man may +almost always overcome obstacles of this kind, by patient perseverance. + +The impression, formerly so prevalent, that none but the three learned +professions, as they are called, require a thorough education, as a +prelude, is, I must believe, much less generally entertained, than when +I was a young man. And this is as it should be. There can be no human +employment that is not facilitated by the aid of a cultivated, +disciplined intellect, and our young countrymen, who so frequently make +some temporary and lucrative occupation the stepping-stone to +advancement, should always bear this in mind. One day, America, like +Venice of old, will be a land of merchant princes--but none will take +rank among these self-elevated patricians but they who add the polish, +the refinement and the wealth of intellect, to the power derived from +external circumstances. + +The _Physical Sciences_ and the _Inventive_ and _Practical Arts_ are +claiming the attention of our times to a degree never before known; and +these afford new and sufficient avenues for the exercise of talents +tending rather to mechanical than to metaphysical exertion. + +Remember, always, that a man may give dignity to any honest employment +to which he shall devote his energies--and better so, than to possess no +claims to respect except those bestowed by position. As the pursuit of +wealth as an end, rather than a means, is not the noblest of human +purposes, so mere occupation and external belongings do not determine +the real worth of mind or character. + + "I am brother to the _Worker_, + And I love his manly look, + As I love a thought of beauty, + Living, star-like, in a book. + I am brother to the humblest, + In the world's red-handed strife,-- + Those who wield the sword of labor, + In the battle ranks of life! + + * * * * * + + * * * * * + + Never let the worker falter, + Nor his cause--for hope is strong; + He shall live a monarch glorious + In the people's coming throng. + There's a sound comes from the future, + Like the sound of many lays; + FREEDOM _strikes her harp for toilers_, + Loud as when the thunder plays!" + +While on this subject, permit me to call your attention to a matter +which, though of minor importance, is not unworthy of consideration. Men +with but little knowledge of the world are apt to _betray their +occupation by their manner and conversation--to smell of the shop_, as +it is often, somewhat coarsely, expressed. Thus, an _artist_ will talk +habitually of such matters as arrest the peculiar perceptions he has +quickened into acuteness by culture, and even use the technicalities of +language which, though familiar to him, may be, and probably are, +unintelligible to persons of general cultivation only. A _physician_ +will sometimes go about with a heavy, ivory-headed cane, and a grand, +pompous look, which may, perchance, be _professional_, but it is not the +less absurd, unless as a means of impressing the vulgar; and he often +falls into the impression that any sacrifice to the Graces, or any +regard for the weaknesses of humanity, when in a sick-room, are entirely +beneath his dignity. _Lawyers_ will use Latin phrases, and legal +technicalities, in the society of ladies, and the _gentlemen of the +black cloth_ not only carry the pulpit into the drawing-room, but permit +themselves to be lionized by devout old women, and sentimental young +ones, into the best seat in an apartment, or a carriage, the tit-bits at +table, and a sum-total of mawkish man-worship. As I have said, all this +savors of _ignorance of the world_, as it does of latent egotism, and +deficient self-respect. Note, therefore, the probable effects--when +unrestrained by self-scrutiny--of _moving in a limited sphere of +action_, and always bear in mind that your individual occupations and +interests, though of great personal importance, are comparatively +insignificant in the consideration of others; that you yourself make, +when viewed from a general stand-point, but _a single unit_ of the great +mass to whom your interests, purposes, and merits, are matters alike of +profound indifference and unquestioning ignorance. + +"No man," says Jean Paul, _the only one_, as the Germans call him, "can +live piously or die righteously without a wife;" and one of the most +celebrated observers of human nature among our own countrymen, has +bequeathed us the recorded opinion that an early marriage with an +amiable and virtuous woman is, next to a firm religious faith, the best +safeguard to the happiness and principles of a young man. + +In our prosperous land, where the means of living are diversified almost +equally with the necessities of life, it is far less hazardous to assume +the responsibilities arising from early marriage, than in other +countries. Everything is, in a certain sense, precocious here. Extreme +youth is no barrier to independence of effort and position--none to +self-reliance and success. It may be questioned whether the tax thus +prematurely imposed upon the intellect, as well as the physique, does +not, in some degree, tend, not only to eventual mediocrity of power, +but to quickened diminution of the vital energies. + +Hence it is, doubtless, well to adopt the _golden mean_ in regard to +every important step in life. And though I would by no means counsel you +not to marry until you have accumulated a fortune, I would strenuously +advise you to possess yourselves of something like a prospective +certainty of maintenance, and of sound knowledge of human nature and of +_yourself_, before so far committing your future happiness. + +One prominent cause of the multitude of unhappy unions, I am persuaded, +is the ignorance of their own true characters with which young persons +are so frequently united. Wholly immature in body and mind, when they +commence married life, as they develop, under the influence of time and +circumstance, they awaken to the discovery of an irreconcilable +difference, not only in taste, sentiment, and opinion, but, what is +worse, in principle. This is one extreme. On the contrary, the marriage +of persons of decided character, before habit has rendered it difficult +to mould themselves into conformity with the peculiarities from which +none are exempt, is desirable. The sooner those who are to tread the +path of life side by side, learn the assimilation that shall render the +way smoother and easier to both, the greater will be their share of +earthly contentment; and this will be most readily achieved, no doubt, +while youthful pliancy and adaptability still exist. + +Every discriminating, self-informed man, should be the best judge of the +essential requisites for domestic happiness, in his individual case. +Such an one will not need to be reminded that all abstract or +generally-applicable rules must needs be modified, in many instances, +for personal usefulness. But no one will question the desirableness of +_health_, _good temper_, and _education_, in the companion of domestic +life. + +By education, I do not mean an acquaintance with all, or even with any +one, of what are termed _accomplishments_. A woman may be well-informed, +and self-disciplined, to a degree that will render her an admirable wife +for a man of sense, without being able to speak any but her vernacular +tongue, or play upon any instrument, save that _harp of a thousand +strings--the Human Heart_! + +Do not understand me as undervaluing the graceful embellishments of +social and domestic life, as presented by the lovelier part of creation. +I wish only to express, in my plain, blunt way, the conviction that the +most elegant and varied accomplishments are a very poor equivalent for +_poverty of the head and heart_, in the woman who is to become the +friend and counsellor to whom you will look for enduring, discriminating +affection and sympathy, as well when the trials, the cares, and the +sorrows of mortal existence shall lower heavily over you, as while you +mutually dance along amid the flowers and the sunshine of youth. + +A career of fashionable idleness, irresponsibility, and dissipation, is +not a desirable prelude to the systematic routine of quiet duties +essential to the home-happiness of a man of moderate resources and +retired habits. It may be questioned whether a woman who has been long +accustomed to the adulation and the excitement of a crowd, will be +content to find enjoyment, sufficient and enduring, in the simple +pleasures which alone will be at her command, thus circumstanced. + +But, while even the incentives afforded by all the affection of which +such an ephemeral being is capable, will render conformity to this new +position difficult of attainment, she who is early accustomed to look +thoughtfully upon life as beautiful and bright indeed, but as involving +serious responsibilities and solemn obligations, will bring to a union +with one of similar perceptions and principles, a sense of right and +duty, which, if strengthened by a commingling of hearts, will make it no +discouraging task to her to _begin with her husband where he begins_. +Such an one will be content to tread on at an even pace beside him, +through the roughness that may beset his progress, cheerfully +encountering obstacles, resolute to conquer or endure, as the case may +be; and ever fully imbued with that patient, hopeful, loving spirit, +whose motto is "bear one another's burdens." + +You will think it more consistent with the caution of an old man, than +the ardor natural to a young one, that I should advise you to pay proper +respect to the claims of the relations or guardians of any lady to whom +you wish to pay your addresses. I will, nevertheless, venture to assert +that, for many reasons, you will, in after life, have reason to +congratulate yourself upon pursuing a manly, open, honorable course in +relation to every feature of this important era in your career. + +A friendship with a woman considerably older than himself (if she be +married, it will be all the better) and especially if he have not older +sisters, or is separated from them, is of incalculable advantage to a +young man, when based upon true principles of thought and action,--not +only in relation to subjects especially pertaining to affairs of the +heart, but respecting a thousand nameless practical matters, as well as +of mental culture, taste, sentiment, and conventional proprieties. Such +a female friend--matured by the advantages of nature and +circumstances--will secure you present enjoyment of an elevated +character, together with constant benefit and improvement, and expect +from you, in return for the great good she renders you, only those +graceful courtesies and attentions which a man of true good-breeding +always regards as equally obligatory and agreeable. + +Let there be, however, a certain _gravity_ mingled with the +manifestations of regard you exhibit towards all married women, the +dominance of _respect_ in your manner towards them, and never permit any +consideration to induce you to forget the established right of every +husband to sanction or not, at his pleasure, the most abstractly +unexceptionable friendship between his wife and another man. + +Every man with a nice sense of honor, will indicate, by his prevailing +bearing and language towards women a _felt_ distinction between the +intentions of friendship, and those of a suitor or lover. And while he +observes towards all women, and under all circumstances, the respectful +courtesy due to them, he will not hesitate to make his purpose +intelligible, _where he has conceived sufficient esteem to engender +matrimonial intentions_. Proper self-respect, as well as the +consideration due to a lady and her friends, demands this. + +I repeat, that no degree of devotion to one, excuses incivility to other +female acquaintances in society; and I will add that the most acceptable +attentions to a woman of sense and delicacy, are not those that render +her generally conspicuous, but such as express an ever-present +remembrance of her comfort and a quick discernment of her real feelings +and wishes. + +So in the matter of presents, and similar expressions of politeness, +good taste will dictate no lavish expenditure, unwarranted by pecuniary +resources, and inconsistent with the general surroundings of either +party, but rather a prevailing harmony that will be really a juster +tribute to the object of your regard, as well as a more creditable proof +of your own tact and judgment. All compliments, whether thus expressed, +or by word of mouth, should be characterized by delicate discrimination +and punctilious respect. It is said that women judge of character by +details: certain it is that what may seem trifles to us, often sensibly +influence their opinions of men. Their perceptions are so keen, their +sensibilities so acute, in comparison with ours, that we would err +materially in estimating them by the same gauge we apply to each other, +and thus the mysteries of the female heart will always remain in a +degree insoluble, even to the acutest masculine penetration. + +But though the nicest shades of sentiment and feeling may escape our +coarser perceptions, we need no unusual discernment to perceive the +effects of kindness, gentleness, and forbearance in our domestic +relations. "I cannot much esteem the man," Rowland Hill remarked, "whose +wife, children, and servants, and even the cat and dog, are not sensibly +happier for his presence." Depend upon it, no fabled Genii could confer +on you a talisman so effective as the power bestowed by the enshrinement +in your heart of the _Law of Kindness_. In proportion to the delicacy of +woman's organization is her susceptibility to such influence, and he who +carelessly outrages the exquisite sensibilities that make the peculiar +charm of her nature, will too often learn, when the lesson brings with +it only the bitterness of experience, + + ----"how light a cause + May move dissension between hearts that love." + +Shun, then, as you would the introduction into your physical system of +an insidious but irradicable poison, + + "_The first slight swerving of the heart, + That words are powerless to express!_" + +But while you seek to illustrate your constant remembrance that you +have, by the act of marriage, "bound yourself to be good-humored, +affable, discreet, forgiving, patient, and joyful, with respect to +frailties and imperfections to the end of life," bear in mind, also, +that your influence over another imposes duties of various kinds upon +you, and that you should use that influence with far-sighted wisdom, to +produce the greatest ultimate good. Thus you will be convinced that it +is the truest kindness to minister to the _intellect_ and the +_affections_ of woman, rather than to her vanity, and that in proportion +as you assist her to exalt her _higher nature_ into dominance, will you +be rewarded by a spirit-union commensurate to the most exalted +necessities of your own. + +I have known men, in my time, who seemed to have a fixed belief that all +manifestations of the gentler instincts of humanity are unworthy of the +dignity of manhood, and who, by habitually repressing all exhibitions of +natural emotion, had apparently succeeded in steeling their hearts, as +well against all softening external impressions as to the inspiration of +the "still, sad music of" their better selves. All elevated emotions, +whether of an affectionate or religious character, are too sacred for +general observance: "When thou prayest, enter into thy closet and _shut +the door_," was the direction of our great Teacher, and so with the +_religion of the heart_ (if you will permit me the phrase), it would be +desecrated, were it possible--which from its very nature it is not--to +parade its outward tokens to indifferent eyes. And yet I return to a +prior stand-point and insist that there is a middle-ground, even here, +the _juste milieu_, as the French say.--_Apropos_--the ancient Romans +used the same word to designate _family affection_ and _piety_. + +Intimately connected with the happiness of domestic life is the due +consideration of _pecuniary affairs_. + +But, before we proceed to their discussion, let me, as long a somewhat +scrutinizing observer of the varying phases of social life, in our own +country especially, enter my earnest protest against the practice so +commonly adopted by newly-married persons, of _boarding_, in place of at +once establishing for themselves the distinctive and ennobling +prerogatives of HOME. Language and time would alike fail me in an +endeavor to set forth the manifold evils inevitably growing out of this +fashionable system. Take the advice of an old man, who has tested +theories by prolonged experience, and at once establish your _Penates_ +within four walls, and under a roof that will, at times, exclude all who +are not properly denizens of your household, upon assuming the rights +and obligations of married life. Do not be deterred from this step by +the conviction that you cannot shrine your home-deities upon pedestals +of marble. _Cover their bases with flowers_--God's free gift to all--and +the plainest support will suffice for them, if it be but _firm_. + +With right views of the true aims and enjoyments of life, it will be no +impossible achievement to establish your household appointments within +the limits of your income, whatever that may be, and to entertain the +conviction that the duty of providing for possible, if not probable, +future contingencies, is imperative with those who have assumed conjugal +and paternal responsibilities. + +Firm adherence to such a system of living will bring with it a thousand +collateral pleasures and privileges, and secure the only true +independence. Nothing is more unworthy than the sacrifice of genuine +hospitality, taste, and refinement, to the requisitions of mere fashion, +in such arrangements; no thraldom so degrading as that imposed by the +union of poverty and false pride. What latent egotism, too, in the +pre-supposed idea that the world at large takes careful cognizance of +the individualizing specialities of any man, save when he trenches on +the reserved rights of others. + +True self-respect, then, as well as enlarged perceptions of real life, +will dictate a judicious adjustment of means to desired results, and +teach the willing adoption of safe moderation in all. + +Happily, _comfort_ and _refinement_ may be secured without ruinous +expenditure, even by the most modest beginners in housekeeping. +Industry, ingenuity and taste, will lend embellishment to the simplest +home, and the young, at least, can well afford to dispense with +enervating luxury and pretentious display. + +With due deference to individual taste, I would commend the cultivation +and gratification of a _love of books and works of art_, in preference +to the purchase of costly furniture, mirrors, and the like. Fine prints +(which are preferable to indifferent paintings) are now within +obtainable reach, by many who permit themselves few indulgences, +comparatively, and everything having a tendency to foster the aesthetical +perceptions and enjoyments of children, and to exalt these +gratifications into habitual supremacy over the grosser pleasures of +sense, or the exhibitions of vanity, is worthy of regard. And as no +avoidable demands of the outer life should be permitted to diminish the +resources of either the heart or the mind, well-selected _books_ will +take high rank among the belongings of a well-appointed house. + +To sum up all, my dear friends, if you aim at rational happiness, let +there be what is artistically termed _keeping_ in your whole system of +life. Let your style of dress, your mode of housekeeping, and +entertaining, your relaxations, amusements, occupations, and resources, +be harmoniously combined. + + * * * * * + +"Where and how is the most charming of Jewesses?" I asked one morning of +an old friend, upon whom I had been making an unreasonably early call, +rising to go. + +"Here, sir, and very well," responded a cheerful voice from an adjoining +room. "Will you not come in a moment?" + +The smiling "home-mother" opened wide the half-open door through which +my queries had been answered, and seconded her daughter's invitation. + +There sat my fair young friend, with a small table before her, covered +with sewing materials, and a huge overcoat upon her lap. She was in a +simple, neat morning-dress, and plying the needle with great industry. +She apologized for not rising to receive me, but not for continuing her +occupation after I seated myself. + +"As busily engaged as ever, I see," said I. + +"Rather more so than usual, just now. Fred has come home in a very +dilapidated condition." + +"And you are repairing him. But what are you doing with that huge, +bearish-looking coat? It's as much as you can do to lift it, I should +judge." + +"Oh, I've been putting in new front-facings and sleeve-linings, and +fixing it up a little," returned she. "But, Colonel, do tell me, have +you read Macaulay's second volume?" + +I replied that I had dipped into it, and added: "But, before we discuss +Macaulay, I want you to tell me how you learned to be so accomplished a +tailoress?" + +"Rebecca can do anything she wishes," said her mother, in a soft, gentle +voice, "_the heart is a good teacher_." + +"Thank you, mother," rejoined the sweet girl, "Colonel Lunettes will +make allowance for your natural partiality." + +"I would, were it necessary, my dear," I answered, "but I can decide for +myself in your case." + +A bow, a blush, and a pleasant laugh responded, and, rising, she +deposited the heavy garment she had been repairing, upon the arm of a +chair, and immediately reseating herself, placed a large basket full of +woollen stockings, at her side, threaded a stout alderman-like-looking +darning needle with thick yarn, and began to mend a formidable hole in +one of the socks. Her brother is an engineer, and I divined at a glance, +that those strong, warm things were, like the blanket-coat, part of his +outfit for a campaign in the swamps. + +"I am delighted with Macaulay's elaborate sketches of individuals," +resumed the busy seamstress, drawing out her long needle and thread, and +returning it with the speed and accuracy of nicely-adjusted machinery; +"do you recollect his portraiture of the _Trimmer_?" + +"It is very fine," I answered, like everything else Macaulay has +written. "Nothing, however, has impressed me more, thus far, in his +history, than his description of the condition of the clergy of the +Established Church, in the rural districts, during the reign of James, +and later even." + +"I, too, was exceedingly interested in it," replied Rebecca. "And the +more, that I was reminded of the fate of the _daughters_ of English +country curates, even at this day; of 'gentle blude,' many times, born +and educated ladies, they are subjected, frequently, through life, to +toil and suffering that would excuse their envying the fate of a mere +kitchen-drudge!" + +"They are, usually, governesses for life, and never marry," continued I. + +"Never marry--though they are so educated and disciplined, as to be +peculiarly well-fitted for the fulfillment of woman's dearest and +highest destiny! Thank God! I was born where such social thraldom, such +hateful monstrosities, are not!" And the face that turned its glance +upward, for an instant, with those last fervent words, was overspread +with a glow bright as the crimson hue of sunset. + +But, though my friend Rebecca, was the last woman in the world to + + "Die of a rose, in aromatic pain," + +she was a perfect Sybarite, in some respects, as I will convince you. + +Entering her mother's tasteful, pretty drawing-room, a few evenings +after this conversation, I found the charming "Jewess," as I sometimes +called her, in allusion to Scott's celebrated heroine, reading by the +light of an astral lamp. She was elegantly, and, I suppose fashionably, +dressed, and reclining in a large, luxurious-looking, stuffed chair, +with her daintily-slippered feet, half buried in a soft crimson cushion. +In short, she was the very impersonation of the "unbought grace" of one +of Nature's queens. Had I been younger, by some fifty years, I should +have been tempted, beyond a doubt, to do oriental homage to so much +loveliness. + +"By the way, Rebecca," said I, after a few minutes' chat with my +hostess, "I must tell you of a witticism you elicited, this morning, +from one of your admirers!" + +"One of my admirers! Who, pray?" + +"Guess! Well, I won't tantalize you!--Howard Parker!" + +"You tell me something, Colonel! I am not entitled to enter Mr. Parker +on my list of friends." + +"What, what! that to me, my dear? I have a great mind to punish you, by +not telling you what he said." + +"As you please, Colonel Lunettes!" with a coquettish toss of her long +ringlets. + +"Please, tell _me_, Colonel!" interposed her mother, smilingly; "don't +mind Rebecca's nonsense--tell me!" + +"In a whisper?" I inquired, laughing, and glancing at the "Jewess." "I +hardly dare to venture that! Well! meeting Howard, who is a great +favorite of mine, in the street, this morning, he told me he was coming +here, to call. 'Steel your heart, then,' said I--'Or _she will steal +it_!' he answered, as quick as thought." + +"Quite a _jeu d'esprit_!" exclaimed Rebecca, laughing gaily. "But, +Colonel, Mr. Parker may be witty, accomplished, and intellectual, but he +is _not a gentleman_!" + +"My daughter, you are severe," said her mother, deprecatingly. + +"I don't mean to be, mother; but"-- + +"From what do you draw such a sweeping inference, my child?" I inquired. + +"From _trifles_, dear sir, I admit; but + + ----'trifles make the sum of human things!' + +and slight peculiarities often indicate character. For instance, Mr. +Parker keeps his hat on, when he is talking to ladies, and neglects his +teeth and hair--you needn't laugh, mamma! Yesterday morning, he joined +me in the street, and came home with me, or, nearly home; for he +stopped short, a little way from the house, let me cross a great +mud-puddle, as well as I could, alone, and open the gate for myself, +though I had my hands full of things. It's true, he had the grace to +color a little, when I said, significantly, as he bade me good morning, +that I was glad I had crossed the Slough of Despond, without accident." + +"That showed that a sensible woman could correct his faults," I +remarked. + +"I don't know about that," replied my hostess. "Such things, as Rebecca +says, _indicate character_; and I would not advise any young lady to +marry a man, with the expectation of reforming him." + +"Not of a cardinal vice, certainly," said I; "but there are"-- + +Here a servant interrupted me with--"Mr. Parker's compliments, Miss," +and offered my fastidious young friend a large parcel, wrapped in a wet, +soiled newspaper, and tied with dirty red tape. + +"Ugh!" exclaimed the Sybarite, recoiling, with unrepressed disgust. +"What is it, Betty? It can't be for me!" + +"It _is_, Miss, an' no mistake--the boy said it got wet in the rain, +widout, as he was bringing it, an' no umberrellar wid him." + +"Will you just take it into the hall, and take off the paper, Biddy? Be +careful not to let it get dirty and wet, inside, will you?"--With +studied _nonchalance_. + +Presently Biddy laid down a large, handsomely-bound volume, and a note, +before the young lady. + +"It is a copy of Macaulay's 'Lays of Ancient Rome,'" said she, skimming +over the note. "Mr. Parker was alluding to some passage in one of the +poems, this morning. He says I will find it marked and begs me to accept +the book, as a philopoena--oh, here are the lines--I thought them very +fine as he recited them. Shall I read them, mamma? And you, sir, will +you hear them?" + + "'Then none was for a party; + Then all were for the state; + Then the great man helped the poor, + And the poor man loved the great; + Then lands were fairly portioned; + Then spoils were fairly sold: + The Romans were like brothers, + In the brave days of old.'" + +The enthusiasm with which the appreciating reader read this spirited +passage, did not prevent my observing that she held her handkerchief +closely pressed upon the back of the exquisite antique binding of the +volume, in the hope, as I inferred, of drying the stain of wet which I +noticed, at once attracted her attention when she took up the gift. The +open note, as it lay upon the table, disclosed a torn, ragged edge, as +if it had been carelessly severed from a sheet of foolscap. + +Whatever her reflections, the young lady had too much instinctive +delicacy to comment upon these peccadilloes, and so, of course, I could +institute no defense of my friend. I, therefore, _tacked_, as a sailor +would say. + +"Howard's a noble fellow," said I, "in spite of his little oddities, but +he has one fault, unfortunately, which I fear will prevent his winning +much favor with the ladies." + +"What is that?" inquired my young auditor, in a tone of seeming +indifference, but with a heightened color, and an eager glance. + +"He is _poor_!" + +"Do you mean that he _lives by his wits_, as the phrase is?" asked my +hostess. + +"By no means! simply this:--Parker began the world without a dollar, and +has had, thus far, to 'paddle his own canoe,' as he expresses it, +against wind and tide." + +"That is quite the best thing I ever knew of him!" exclaimed Rebecca, +with animation. "It does him great credit, in my estimation! But, +Colonel, I cannot agree with you in thinking Mr. Parker, _poor_!" + +"No?" + +"No, indeed! in my regard, _no man in our country is poor, who possesses +health, education, and an unblemished reputation_!" + + * * * * * + +In the library of the only representative of the British government in +this country--and he was the lineal representative, as well, of one of +the oldest, wealthiest and most aristocratic of noble English +families--whose guest I remember to have been, I found great numbers of +books, which he had brought with him from home, but they were arranged +upon simple, unpainted pine shelves, put up for convenience, while the +owner should remain at Washington. He brought his books, because he +wanted them for constant use--but, though accustomed to the utmost +luxuriousness of appointment at home, he did not dream of bringing +furniture across the Atlantic, or of apologizing for the absence of more +than was demanded by necessity in his temporary residence. + +I remember, too, to have heard it said that one of the recent governors +of the Empire State had not a single article of mahogany furniture in +his house at Albany; and yet, nobody complained of any want of +hospitality or courtesy on his part, while making this discovery. The +simple fact was, that, being without private fortune, and the salary of +his office insufficient for such expenditures, _he could not afford +it_--and no man, I believe, is bound to run in debt, to gratify either +the expectations or the vanity of his political constituents. + +As a contrast to these anecdotes, how does the following incident +impress you? + +Walking down Broadway, in New York, one bright morning with a +distinguished American statesman, he suddenly came to a full halt before +a show-window in which glittered, among minor matters, a superb +_candelabra_, in all the glory of gilding and pendants. + +"That's a very handsome affair, Lunettes," said my companion; "let us +step in here a moment." + +We entered accordingly. A salesman came forward. + +"What is the price of that candelabra, in the window?" inquired the +statesman. + +"Six hundred dollars," replied the young man. + +"Pack it up and send it to M----," replied my friend, turning to go. + +"And the bill, sir?" + +"You may send the bill to me--to D---- W----, at Washington." + +I happened to know that the great man had, only within a day or two, +been released, by the generosity of several of his personal friends, +from an embargo upon his movements that would otherwise have prevented +his eloquent thunder from being heard in the National Senate! + + * * * * * + +The massive head and stately bearing of John Marshall always rise before +my mind's eye, when I recall this characteristic illustration of his +native manliness: + +The Chief Justice was in the habit of going to market himself, and +carrying home his purchases. He might frequently be seen at sunrise, +with poultry in one hand and vegetables in the other. + +On one of these occasions, a young Northerner, who had recently removed +to Richmond, and thus become a fellow-townsman of the great Virginian, +was heard loudly complaining that no one could be found to carry home +his turkey. + +The Chief Justice, who was unknown to the new-comer, advancing, inquired +where the stranger lived and on being informed, said, very +quietly--"That is on my way; I will take it for you;" and receiving the +turkey, walked briskly away. + +When he reached the house that had been designated, Marshall awaited the +arrival of the owner, and delivered up his burden. + +"What shall I pay you?" inquired the youth. + +"Nothing, whatever," replied the biographer of Washington, "it was all +in my way, and not the slightest trouble--you are welcome;" and he +pursued his course. + +"Who is that polite old man?" asked the young stranger of a by-stander. + +He was answered--"_That is John Marshall, Chief Justice of the United +States._" + +I well remember, too, how often I used to join my old friend, Chief +Justice Spencer, of New York, as he climbed the long hill leading to his +residence, at Albany, with a load of poultry in his hand. And I dare say +his great-hearted brother-in-law, De Witt Clinton, often did the same +thing. Certain I am, that he was the most unostentatious of human +beings, as simple and natural as a boy, to the end of his days. + + * * * * * + +I have the vanity to believe that you will not have forgotten the little +sketch I gave you, in a previous letter, of my interesting young friend +Julia Peters. Not long after my brief acquaintance with her--that is, +within a year--I received a newspaper neatly inclosed, and sealed with a +fanciful device, in prettily-tinted wax, which being interpreted for me +by a fair adept in such matters, was said to read--"Love, or Cupid, +carrying a budget to you from me." The following paragraph was carefully +marked: + + "MARRIED:--In the Church of the Holy Innocents, in this village, on + Tuesday, May 12th, by the Rev. B---- Y----, St. John Benton and + Julia A. Peters, daughter of the late Fitz-James Peters, Esq., of + Princeton, N. J." + +Then followed this sentence, in large characters: + + "THE PRINTER AND THE 'CARRIER' ACKNOWLEDGE A BOUNTIFUL RECEIPT OF + SUPERB WEDDING-CAKE.- - - _May every blessing attend the happy + pair!_" + +I, too, had my share of the wedding-cake, accompanied by very tasteful, +simple cards, as well as a previous invitation to the wedding, written +jointly by Mr. and Mrs. Y----, and in terms most flatteringly cordial, +and complimentary. Mrs. Y---- and I had, by this time, exchanged letters +more than once. I will give you, as a specimen of the agreeable +epistolary style of my fair friend, the following communication, which +reached me some two or three months after the marriage of her sister. + + "RECTORY, ----, _Aug. 22d_, ----. + + "DEAR COL. LUNETTES:-- + + "I avail myself of my very first leisure to comply with the request + contained in your most kind and acceptable letter of last week. + Whether your amiable politeness does not overrate my capacity to + write a 'true woman's letter--full of little significant details + and particularities,' remains to be seen. I will do my best, at + least, and 'naught extenuate, nor set down aught in malice.' + + "I hardly know where to begin, in answer to your query about the + 'possibility of the most economical young people managing to live + on so small an income.' The truth is, Julia and I, thanks to a + judicious mother, were _practically educated_, which makes all the + difference in the world in a woman's capacity to 'make the worse + appear the better reason' in matters of domestic management. The + house they live in is their own. Mr. Benton, fortunately, possessed + the means of fully paying for it (he was entirely frank with Mr. + Y---- about all these matters, from the beginning) and Julia was + able to furnish it simply, though comfortably. It is a small + establishment, to be sure,--a little house and a little garden, but + it is _their own_, and that gives it a charm which it would not + otherwise possess. They feel that they will have the benefit of + such improvements as they may make, and it is wonderful what an + effect this consciousness produces. The house was a plain, + bald-looking building enough, when Fitz-James bought it. Julia said + it would be a bold poetic license to call it _a cottage_!--but he + has studied architecture, at intervals, as he has had time, with a + view to future advancement, and so he devised, and partly + constructed, tasteful little ornaments to surmount the windows, and + a very pretty rustic porch in front. The effect was really almost + magical when united with the soft, warm color that took the place + of the glaring white of which every one is becoming so tired. It is + quite picturesque, I assure you, now. As a romantic young lady said + of it--'it is like the cottages we read of,--quite a + picture-place.' But, pretty and tasteful as it is _outside_, one + must become an inmate of Julia's little Eden, to know half its + claims to admiration. It is just the neatest, snuggest, cosiest + little nest (by the way they call it '_Cosey Cottage_,' as you will + please remember when you write, dear sir) you can imagine. There is + nothing grand, or even elegant, perhaps, but every part is + thoroughly furnished for convenience and comfort, and _everything + corresponds_. It is not like some city houses I have been in, where + everything was expended in glare and display in the two + parlors--'_un_wisely kept for show,' and up-stairs and in the + kitchen, the most scanty, comfortless arrangements. Julia's carpets + and curtains are quite inexpensive, but the colors are well chosen + for harmony of effect. (Julia rather prides herself upon having + things _artistic_, as she expresses it, even to the looping up of a + curtain.) There is a sort of indescribable _expression_ about the + little parlor, which, by the way, they _really use_, daily--her + friends say--'How much this is like Julia!' Some of Julia's crayon + heads, and a sketch or two of Mr. Benton's are hung in the + different rooms, and they have contrived, or rather imitated, (for + I believe St. John said it was a French idea) the prettiest little + _brackets_, which are disposed about the walls and corners of the + parlor. They are only rough things that her husband makes up, + covered by Julia, with some dark material, and ornamented with + fringe, costing almost nothing, but so pretty in effect for + supporting vases of flowers or little figures, or something of that + kind. Then there is a tiny place, opening from the parlor, + dignified with the name of _library_, where Julia and Benton + 'draped,' and 'adjusted,' and re-draped, and re-adjusted, to their + infinite enjoyment and content, and somewhat to _my amusement_, I + will confess to _you_, dear sir. Indeed they _trot in harness_, to + borrow one of St. John's phrases,--most thoroughly _matched_, as + well as _mated_, and go best together. _They_ think so, at least, I + should infer, as they always _are_ together, if possible. Julia + helps Benton in the garden--holds the trees and shrubs while he + places them, and ties up the creeping-roses, and other things he + arranges over the porch, and around the windows, and assists him + with the lighter work of manufacturing rustic seats and stands, and + baskets for the garden and summer-house; and Benton (who has quite + a set of tools) puts up shelves and various contrivances of that + sort, and _did_ help to lay the carpets, etc., Julia told me. + Indeed, while I was with them, Mr. Benton's daily life constantly + reminded me of the beautiful injunction--'Let every man show, by + his kind acts and good deeds, how much of Heaven he has in him.' + + "But I only tire you, dear sir, by my poor attempts to portray my + sister's simple happiness--_you must see it for yourself_! I make + no apology for the minuteness of my details,--if they seem puerile, + Colonel Lunettes has himself to thank for my frankness, but I have + yet to learn that my valued friend says, or writes, what he does + not mean. + + "I have left to the last--because so pleasant a theme,--some + reference to Julia's pride and delight in your beautiful + bridal-gift to her. She has, no doubt, long since, written to thank + you; but I cannot deny myself the gratification of telling you how + much she values and enjoys it,--from my own observation. It is + really noticeable too, how exactly it suits with all the other + table appointments she has--(unless perhaps it is a shade too + handsome) only another proof of Colonel Lunettes' fine taste! Mr. + Y----, to tease Julia, asked her one evening, when she was + indulging in a repetition of her usual eulogy upon the gift and the + giver, whether she really meant to say that she _preferred_ a china + tea-pot, sugar-bowl, and cream-cup, to silver ones. 'Indeed I do,' + said she, 'a silver tea-service for _me_, would be "sicklied o'er + with the pale cast of thought!" It would not suit my style at all.' + Julia says she shall never be perfectly happy until she makes tea + for Colonel Lunettes, from her beautiful china, and Mr. Benton says + Colonel Lunettes is the _only man in the world of whom he is + jealous_! Upon this, there always follows a gentle (_very_ gentle) + twitching of St. John's whiskers, of which, I will add, by way of a + description of the _personnel_ of the young man, he has a pair as + black and curling as Mr. Y----'s,--indeed, I must concede that + Julia's husband is almost as handsome as my own! + + "We are all eagerly anticipating the fulfillment of your promise to + visit our beautiful valley, while robed in the gorgeous hues of + Autumn. Mr. Y---- and I, are arranging everything with reference to + so agreeable an event;--'We will go there, or see that,' we say, + 'when Colonel Lunettes comes.' Julia, too, is looking forward, with + much pleasure, to welcoming so coveted a guest. 'I hope we shall be + able to make the Colonel _comfortable_, in our quiet way,' she + always says, when speaking of your promised visit; 'you, and Mr. + Y----, are so used to have the bishop, and other celebrities, that + you don't know anything about being nervous, at such times; but + poor me--just beginning, and such a novice!' Upon this, her husband + always appeals to me, to say whether I have nicer things to eat, + anywhere, 'even at home,' and whether any sensible man could not + content himself, even in such a 'little box,' for a few days, at + least; especially, when well assured how happy and honored a + certain young lady will be, on the occasion. And I must say, for + Julia, that her versatile powers are fully illustrated in her + housekeeping. Mr. Y---- declares that nobody _but_ his wife can + make such bread--a perfect cure for dyspepsia! and, as for the + pumpkin-pies!--well, upon the whole, he has decided that we ought + to spend _Thanksgiving_ at 'Cosey Cottage.' + + "I have omitted to mention that, at Julia's earnest instance, we + left her little namesake--'Colonel Lunettes' pet,' as she delights + to call herself--with her, when we were there. I hardly knew how to + give her up, though but for a few weeks, even to her aunt. Just + before we came away, I said to her, 'I hope Aunt Julia, and Uncle + St. John, won't spoil you, my darling; your aunt has promised to + scold you, when you are naughty.' 'Oh, but 'ou see, mamma, I don't + never mean to _be_ naughty,' she answered, almost stopping my + breath with her little chubby arms clinging about my neck. + + "Persuaded, dear sir, that you will have 'supped your full,' even + to repletion, of a 'true woman's letter,' I will only add to Mr. + Y----'s kindest remembrances and regards, the sincere assurance + that I am, as ever, + + "Your attached and grateful + "CECILIA D. Y----. + + "COL. HENRY LUNETTES." + +And now, my dear nephews, that the blessing of Heaven may rest upon you, +always, in + + "Life's earnest toil and endeavor," + +is the affectionate and heartfelt prayer and farewell of your + + UNCLE HAL. + + + + +THE END. + + + + +Transcriber's Note + + +I have used "=" to denote use of underlined text. + +Inconsistencies have been retained in formatting, spelling, +hyphenation, punctuation, and grammar, except where indicated +in the list below: + + - Period added after "sermon" on Page vii + - "PATE" changed to "PATE" on Page x + - "Aquaintances" changed to "Acquaintances" on Page xiv + - Period changed to a comma after "Regard" on Page xv + - Period changed to a comma after "Tribute" on Page xv + - Dash added after "etc." on Page xvi + - Dash added after "Importance" on Page xviii + - Period changed to a comma after "Society" on Page xvix + - Period changed to a comma after "Bouche" on Page xvix + - Period changed to a comma after "Relaxation" on Page xvix + - Period changed to a comma after "Remorse" on Page xvix + - Period changed to a comma after "Pathos" on Page xvix + - Period changed to a comma after "Wit" on Page xvix + - Period changed to a comma after "Drawing-room" on Page xvix + - Period changed to a comma after "Intellect" on Page xvix + - Comma moved from mid-line to immedately after "Discussion" + on Page xvix + - Period changed to a comma after "Bagatelle" on Page xvix + - Period changed to a comma after "Epicureanism" on Page xvix + - Period changed to a comma after "Sketch" on Page xvix + - "ONATHAN" changed to "JONATHAN"</sc> on Page xxi + - "compatable" changed to "compatible" on Page xxiii + - "s" changed to "his" on Page 45 + - "eminated" changed to "emanated" on Page 47 + - Double quotes changed to single quotes around "Kossuth," + on Page 53 + - "pate" changed to "pate" on Page 62 + - "singlarly" changed to "singularly" on Page 66 + - "self control" changed to "self-control" on Page 78 + - Period added after "her" on Page 86 + - Quote added before "I" on Page 87 + - "Johnathan" changed to "Jonathan" on Page 89 + - Single rather than double quotes used around "and here," on + Page 89 + - Double quotes changed to single quotes before "I" and after + "madame," on Page 90 + - Double quotes changed to single quotes before "that" and + after "you?" on Page 90 + - Double quote added before "The" on Page 90 + - Double quote added before "Before" on Page 90 + - Double quote added before "The" on Page 90 + - Double quote added before "You" and double quotes before "You" + and after "madame?" changed to single quotes on Page 90 + - Double quote added before "And" and double quotes before "And" + and after "com-for-ta-ble?" changed to single quotes on Page 90 + - Double quote added before "No" on Page 90 + - Double quote added before "Bien" and after "please!'" and + spoken text placed within single quotes on Page 90 + - Quote removed after "you?" on Page 105 + - "nur sery" changed to "nursery" on Page 114 + - Single quote added before "cause" on Page 117 + - Double quote added after "minister?'" on Page 120 + - "dont" changed to "don't" on Page 120 + - "extertaining" changed to "entertaining" on Page 123 + - "primative" changed to "primitive" on Page 124 + - Period added after "door" on Page 124 + - Single dot replaced by colon after "said" on Page 125 + - Period added after "process" on Page 129 + - "the the" changed to "the" on Page 139 + - Quote removed after "morals!" on Page 139 + - "grooms man" changed to "groomsman" on Page 140 + - Quotation marks corrected to show single quotes for dialogue + and double quotes at the start of paragraphs throughout the + anecdote on pages 143 and 144 + - Double quote removed after "monument,'" on Page 150 + - "asthetical" changed to "aesthetical" on Page 150 + - "n" changed to "in" on Page 159 + - Double quotes in this paragraph changed to single quotes and + double quote added at start of paragraph on Page 182 + - Double quotes in this paragraph changed to single quotes and + double quote added at start of paragraph on Page 182 + - Double quotes in this paragraph changed to single quotes and + double quote added at start of paragraph on Page 182 + - Comma removed after "said" on Page 188 + - Single quote added after "chair," on Page 188 + - Double quote added before "Well" on Page 190 + - Double quote removed before "'All" on Page 199 + - Double quote changed to a single quote before "I" on Page 200 + - Double quote changed to a single quote after "nursery-cry" on + Page 200 + - Double quote changed to a single quote before "my" on Page + - Double quote changed to a single quote after "to-night;" on + Page 200 + - Period added after "rank" on Page 212 + - "achievments" changed to "achievements" on Page 214 + - Period added after "sensuality" on Page 215 + - "heath" changed to "health" on Page 220 + - Single quotes changed to double quotes around this quotation + on Page 225 + - Single quote removed before "A" on Page 229 + - "univeral" changed to "universal" on Page 236 + - "appearace" changed to "appearance" on Page 238 + - "Never sink" changed to "Neversink" on Page + - Quote added after "daughter," on Page 252 + - Quote added after "Simpson," on Page 253 + - "place" changed to "placed" on Page 257 + - Period added after "Mrs" on Page 262 + - "ceremoneous" changed to "ceremonious" on Page 263 + - "st." changed to "St." on Page 264 + - ""You are now my enemy, and I am" indented for ease of reading + on Page 267 + - Comma removed after "and" on Page 270 + - "Mis" changed to "Miss" on Page 281 + - "sol dier" changed to "soldier" on Page 282 + - Comma removed after "sketching" on Page 287 + - Double quote removed at end of paragraph on Page 314 + - Double quote added before "This" on Page 314 + - Single quote changed to a double quote before "I" on Page 314 + - Comma removed before "us" on Page 319 + - "th" changed to "the" on Page 325 + - "strengthed" changed to "strengthened" on Page 333 + - "un comfortable" changed to "uncomfortable" on Page 334 + - Period added after "fatigue" on Page 339 + - "and-that" changed to "and that" on Page 361 + - "wan't" changed to "want" on Page 364 + - Quote removed before "Oh" on Page 367 + - Single quote changed to double quote after "them!" on Page 368 + - "twitter ing" changed to "twittering" on Page 368 + - "to" added after "happened" on Page 372 + - Period added after "friend" on Page 375 + - Comma changed to a period after "us" on Page 379 + - "duced" changed to "deuced" on Page 387 + - "Kiss" changed to "Miss" on Page 395 + - Quote removed before "As" on Page 403 + - "pretiest" changed to "prettiest" on Page 409 + - "acknowleded" changed to "acknowledged" on Page 414 + - "a" added after "like" on Page 417 + - Single quote changed to a double quote at end of paragraph + on Page 422 + - Period added after "Lunettes" on Page 422 + - "dessultory" changed to "desultory" on Page 423 + - "intelleclectual" changed to "intellectual" on Page 424 + - Period changed to comma after "Howard" on Page 428 + - "Educacation" changed to "Education" on Page 434 + - "de voted" changed to "devoted" on Page 437 + - "stationary" changed to "stationery" on Page 442 + - "inter posed" changed to "interposed" on Page 444 + - Period added after "months" on Page 445 + - Period added after "be" on Page 450 + - "stand point" changed to "stand-point" on Page 460 + - Period added after "friends" on Page 466 + - "glancind" changed to "glancing" on Page 467 + - Period added after "lady" on Page 468 + - Comma changed to a period after "animation" on Page 470 + - Extra space added before and after this paragraph on Page 474 + - "Fitz James" changed to "Fitz-James" on Page 475 + - Period removed after "migical" on Page 475 + - Period removed after "Benton's" on Page 476 + - Double quote added before "Cecilia" on Page 476 + - Double quote removed after "Y----" on Page 480 + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The American Gentleman's Guide to +Politeness and Fashion, by Henry Lunettes + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE *** + +***** This file should be named 39005.txt or 39005.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/9/0/0/39005/ + +Produced by Julia Miller, Linda Hamilton, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/Canadian Libraries) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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