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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The American Gentleman's Guide to
+Politeness and Fashion, by Henry Lunettes
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The American Gentleman's Guide to Politeness and Fashion
+       or, Familiar Letters to his Nephews
+
+Author: Henry Lunettes
+
+Release Date: February 28, 2012 [EBook #39005]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Julia Miller, Linda Hamilton, and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/Canadian Libraries)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+  THE
+  =AMERICAN= GENTLEMAN'S
+  GUIDE TO POLITENESS
+  AND
+  FASHION;
+
+  OR,
+
+  FAMILIAR LETTERS TO HIS NEPHEWS.
+
+  BY HENRY LUNETTES.
+
+  The good old name of GENTLEMAN.
+  TENNYSON.
+
+
+  People sometimes complain of writers who talk of "I, I." * * * * When
+  I speak to you of myself, I am speaking to you of yourself, also. Is it
+  possible that you do not feel that it is so?              VICTOR HUGO.
+
+
+  NEW EDITION, CAREFULLY REVISED BY THE AUTHOR.
+
+  PHILADELPHIA:
+  J. B. LIPPINCOTT & CO.
+  1864.
+
+
+
+
+Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1863, by
+
+J. B. LIPPINCOTT & CO.,
+
+in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States
+for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania.
+
+
+
+
+  TO
+  HIS YOUNG COUNTRYMEN,
+  THIS UNPRETENDING VOLUME, IS, WITH AFFECTIONATE PRIDE,
+  INSCRIBED BY
+  THE AUTHOR.
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+
+    "I lang ha'e thought, my youthful friends,
+        A something to have sent you,
+      Tho' it may serve no other end
+        Than just a kind memento:
+      But how the subject-theme may gang
+        Let time and chance determine;
+      Perhaps it may turn out a sang,
+        Perhaps turn out a sermon."
+
+
+
+
+TABLE OF CONTENTS
+
+
+LETTER I.
+
+DRESS.
+
+  PROPRIETY of conforming to Fashion, with a due Regard for
+  individual Peculiarities of Appearance--Eccentricity of Taste
+  in Dress--Obedience to the Laws of Convention--The vagaries of
+  Genius, in this respect--Absurdity and Affectation originated
+  by the Example of Byron--All indifference and neglect to be
+  avoided, with regard to Dress--Anecdote of Dr. Johnson and the
+  Siddons--Porson, the Greek Scholar--Horace Greeley--Aphorism--
+  Habits of a distinguished Parisian _savant_--Example and opinion
+  of Washington with reference to Dress--Partiality of Americans
+  for Black, as the color of dress-clothes--Practice of Men in
+  other Countries, in the selection of Colors--Morning Costume of
+  an English Gentleman--Every English Gentleman usefully employed
+  during a Portion of each Day--Dr. Johnson's Test of good Taste
+  in Dress--The golden mean in Matters of Dress--Ceremonious
+  Costume of a Gentleman--Mode of wearing the Hair and Beard--
+  Necessity for artistic Taste in one's Barber--All extremes of
+  Fashion in bad Taste--Various Absurdities in this respect,
+  inconsistent with the "keeping" of modern Costume--Collars,
+  their size, shape, &c.--Sleeve-buttons--Bad taste of wearing
+  flash Stones--Use of Diamonds In Dress--Simplicity in the
+  Appendages of Dress, the characteristic of true refinement--
+  Signet-rings--Distinctive Points of difference between the
+  exterior of a Gentleman and of a Loafer--All staring
+  patterns in Gentlemen's clothes exceptionable--A white suit
+  throughout, for warm Weather--Thin Cravats--Body Linen--
+  Kotzebue's test of high-breeding--Strength and Comfort
+  the essential Characteristics of working Garments--Fitness
+  and propriety even in matters of Dress, indicative of a
+  well-regulated Mind--Every American should aim to be a true
+  Gentleman--Importance of Trifles, when viewed in the
+  aggregate--Influence of Dress, etc., upon Character and
+  Manner--Wearing Gloves in Dancing--White Gloves alone
+  unexceptionable for ceremonious Evening Occasions--Gloves
+  suitable for the Street and Morning Visits--Bright-colored
+  Gloves in bad _ton_--Illustrative Anecdote--Over-Garments--
+  Variety sanctioned by Fashion--Becomingness of different
+  Styles--Inconvenience and ill-appearance of Shawls--When
+  Suitable--South American Poncho--Anecdote--New reading of
+  Lord Nelson's celebrated Naval Orders--Difference between
+  Talking and Writing, the Author's Apology for numerous
+  Defects--The Mill-boy of the Slashes--The Author unacquainted
+  with the Elegancies of modern Fashionable Nomenclature--Terms
+  of agreement between the Author and his Correspondents,            25
+
+
+LETTER II.
+
+DRESS--(_Continued._)
+
+
+STORIES AND ANECDOTES ILLUSTRATIVE OF DRESS.
+
+  THE HERO OF THE BALL-ROOM.--The Author's Liking for Mass
+  Meetings--A Fete--Louis Philippe and the Militia Officer--A
+  real Soldier conquered by the Fair!--The "Observed of all
+  Observers"--A Morning Visit--Dissection of the "Observed of
+  all Observers"--The Hero of the Ball-Room is consigned to the
+  "Tomb of the Capulets" in a bright, pea-green, thin Muslin
+  Shooting-Jacket!                                                   43
+
+  Anecdote of Bulwer, the Novelist,                                  48
+
+  The Green Mountain Boy and his New Cloak,                          49
+
+  Count Orloff at the "Peace Convention,"                            50
+
+  THE FASHIONABLE HAT.--A Young Clergyman resolves to Visit
+  "the City"--His Plans for Economy--A new Black Coat--A Secret
+  Design--Fashionable Ridicule--The Young Clergyman makes the
+  mortifying Discovery that he is wearing a "Shocking Bad
+  Hat"--Reluctantly determines to buy a New One--A Traveller in
+  an Old "Kossuth"--Test of what is Admissible in the Dress of
+  the Clergy--Reflections of a "Sadder and a Wiser" Man--The
+  Uncle and his Little Nephew--"Bradbrook's" and the "Pretty
+  Coat"--Another Secret "Design--The Tyrant of Social Life,          50
+
+  The Chief Justice--and the Travelling Gloves of an Exquisite,      54
+
+  GOV. MARCY AND THE PARISIANS.--The American Secretary of
+  Legation at St. Cloud, at a Court Dinner--Address of the
+  Turkish Ambassador--The Distinctive Mark of a Gentleman,           56
+
+  THE RED CORNELIAN PATE.--Sketch of an Elegant leaning upon a
+  Bass-viol--Poetry of the Female Voice--An Alpine Party--A
+  Lady's Avowal--Coxcombs--A Mysterious Stranger--My Lundy-Lane
+  Sword--A Figure of Speech appropriate to a Sportsman's
+  Daughter--The "Weed" and the Shawl--An Apple--The "Tug of
+  War"--The Pitiable Finger! and the Cranberry Pate--Design of
+  the "Mysterious Stranger"--Jack the Giant-Killer and his
+  Victim--A Revelation--The Dove and the Vulture,                    58
+
+  Postscript to Letter II.--Letter to the Author from a
+  Distinguished Man of Fashion--Directions for the Details of
+  Gentlemen's Dress, on various Occasions--Wedding Costume--
+  Morning and Evening--Evening Dress--Dress for Morning
+  Visits--Costume for Bachelors' Dinner-Parties--General
+  Remarks upon Colors, etc.--Effect of Black Dress--Blue--
+  Brown--Anecdote of Beau Brummel--Opinion of a French
+  Critic--Importance of the "Cut" of Garments--Ease the First
+  Essential--An Artistic Air--Wadding, or Stuffing, to be
+  used in moderation--Sensible Observations of a Man of
+  Discriminating Taste,                                              63
+
+
+LETTER III
+
+MANNER.
+
+  APHORISM of a Celebrated Observer of Human Nature--Manner
+  indicative of Character--Benefits of Care and Attention in
+  Youth--The Fashionable Manner of the Day--Danger of
+  Affectation in Manner--Americans too often Caricature their
+  European Models--Good Sense and Manly Independence the best
+  Guides in the Formation of Manner--True Politeness--Elegant
+  definition of Politeness by a celebrated Author--Good
+  Breeding inseparable from the Character of a Gentleman--Sir
+  Philip Sidney, a Christian Gentleman--Manner the proper
+  expression of Mental Qualities--The Laws of Convention--Their
+  proper Use and Applicability--Conduct towards Superiors in
+  Age and Station one Test of Good Breeding--Example of
+  Washington in this respect--Polished Manners of the Men of
+  Revolutionary Days--Bad Taste of Slang Language and
+  Disrespectful Familiarity in speaking of Superiors or
+  Parents--Reverence rendered to Age by the Ancients--Rudeness
+  of "Young America" in this respect--The Law of Kindness a
+  sure Correction--Possibility of Benefit to be derived from
+  the consideration of those who have seen the World--
+  Disadvantages of early Neglect of Manner--Improvement
+  always possible, at any age--Benefit of the early Acquisition
+  of Habits of Self-Control and Self-Possession--Advantage of
+  proper Examples in this respect,                                   72
+
+  THE HANDSOME ENGINEER.--A Railroad Depot and a Dilemma--The
+  Field-Book and Soiled Boots--The Blessings of Civilization--
+  An Honest Saxon Word--The Charge--The Arrival--A Recognition
+  --A Metamorphosis--The Economy of driving in Dress-Boots--
+  A Whisper--The Secret of the Charm of Manner,                      79
+
+  AN AFTER-DINNER COTERIE.--The St. Nicholas Hotel and Santa
+  Claus--A Pleasant Meeting--A Social Re-Union--The _Dramatis
+  Personae_ of the Occasion--A Sketch--"Willard's," at
+  Washington--The weary Child--The Courteous Strangers--A
+  Grateful Tribute--Charge against American Ladies--Southern
+  Manner--The Stupid Porter and the _contre-temps_--An
+  Inference--A Scene in a Country Tavern--A French-Woman and a
+  Yankee-Woman--Jonathan and the Snuff-box--A Tooth-ache and a
+  Rocking-chair--Sympathy and Vivacity--The Climax of
+  Impatience!                                                        82
+
+  A POLITE YOUNG IRELANDER,--A Fight--An Exclamation--A Fair
+  Vision,                                                            91
+
+
+LETTER IV.
+
+MANNER--(_Continued._)
+
+  PRACTICAL DIRECTIONS.--Senator Sumner's appropriate
+  Sentence--Primary importance of Manner at Home--A reiterated
+  Charge--Manner to Parents--Unvarying confidence and reverence
+  due to a Father--Tenderness of Manner to a Mother--Example of
+  Washington--A Revolutionary Ball--Nature the best Teacher of
+  Duty--Too great familiarity, even with Relations, objectionable
+  --Manner to Brothers and Sisters--No assumption of superiority
+  justified by Birthright, or Circumstances--Every Man the
+  Guardian of his Sisters--A Sister's Love--Manner to a Wife--
+  The preservation of her Affection--The "Spectator," and a
+  Sketch of an Old-School Husband--Impressive Teaching--A Plea
+  for Old-Fashioned Authors--Reverence for the _Lares_ should
+  be inviolate--The Graces of Manner always discerned by the
+  Gentler Sex--The Sensibility of Woman--Domestic Politeness--
+  Cheerful Manner in conferring Favors--Importance of Trifles,
+  in this respect--The true nobleness of Manhood--Aphorism of
+  the Latinists--Manner to Children--Their Innocence and
+  Susceptibility--The Influence of Example in this regard--
+  Children judges of Character--Power of the Law of Love over
+  the Young--Supremacy of Moral Obligation--Manner not to be
+  regarded as insignificant by the Christian Gentleman--Manner
+  to the Unfortunate--Towards Servants and Inferiors--Arrogance
+  to be avoided--Mode of addressing Domestics--Queen Elizabeth
+  and her Courtiers--Effect of a pleasant Word and a pleasant
+  Tone--Peculiar sensitiveness of the Uneducated In this respect
+  --The professional figure of an old Soldier!--Manifestations
+  of Sympathy for Inferiors in Station--Readily instructed by
+  a kind Manner,                                                     98
+
+
+ANECDOTES AND TALES, ILLUSTRATIVE OF MANNER.
+
+  EMPERORS NOT ALWAYS WELL-BRED.--Manner of Napoleon le Grand
+  to Women--A Family Levee--Reply of the Mother of Bonaparte to
+  her Son--Napoleon's stringent enforcement of Court Rules--The
+  First Consul and the Lady's Train--Josephine's timidity and
+  her Husband's brutality--Maria Louise's Bridal-Scene--An
+  almost sacrilegious Misnomer,                                     104
+
+  A FATHER'S REBUKE.--A Steamer on the Ohio--The two Friends--
+  Cabin-Chit-chat--Youthful mirth reproved--The effect of a
+  Scene--The fortunate Guest--A Family Mansion and Family
+  Group--A "Study,"                                                 105
+
+  The Moral Sublime: An Anecdote,                                   110
+
+  The Sailor and his Mother,                                        111
+
+  THE BROTHERS.--Early Separation--Home Meetings--The pomposity
+  of the Alderman--A Family Quarrel--The respectful Son--The
+  Recording Angel--Charley visits the City--A Morning Call--Its
+  Result,                                                           111
+
+  Washington Irving's Sketch of an old English Gentleman,           113
+
+  The Poet Rogers and his Man Friday,                               114
+
+  THE FAMILY GREEN-ROOM, OR LIFE BEHIND THE SCENES.--An old
+  Soldier Weather-bound--A Morning Sortie--An Invitation--
+  Youthful Hospitality--A Nursery Fixture--The "Eldest Son and
+  Hope of the House"--A playful Salutation--The "Land of
+  Promise"--An Armful--Lunch--An unexpected Interposition--An
+  Overland Journey--A Catastrophe--Rubicon Crossing--The
+  Dolphin--The baked Apple--A "Poor Man"--The "Cup of Cold
+  Water"--A Stick for each--Spectacled Reconnoitering--Cheerful
+  Words--Devotional Scene--Scientific Inquiry--A Capture--Escape
+  by Stratagem--Almost a Martyr--The old Soldier re-visits the
+  "Mess" of his Camp-ground--A dangerous Invader--Green-room
+  Asides--A Rehearsal--College Comforts--A Sketch by one of
+  'em--A Stage-Trick--Anecdote of John Kemble, the Actor--A
+  Disclaimer and a Commentary--Exit of a "Star"--Table-Talk,        115
+
+
+LETTER V.
+
+MANNER IN DETAIL.
+
+  MANNER IN THE STREET--Upon Meeting a Friend or Acquaintance--
+  Proper Mode of Salutation--"Drawing" Gloves--Stopping to
+  Talk--Tact and Ease--Leaving a Companion in the Street--
+  Manner to Inferiors in the Street--Rule, when meeting a
+  Gentleman-Acquaintance walking with Ladies whom you do not
+  know--When you are acquainted with both Ladies and Gentlemen
+  whom you may meet--Shaking Hands with Ladies in the Street at
+  Meeting or at Parting--Courteous Phrases--Parting Ceremonies
+  --Precedence in the Street--Taking the Arm of another Man--
+  Walking with Ladies--Proper relative Position--Opening Doors,
+  etc.--When meeting Ladies--Upon being stopped by a Lady--
+  Manner to a Stranger Lady--When you wish to Speak with
+  a Lady in the Street--When wishing to join a Lady in her
+  Promenade--Proper Caution in this respect--Rule respecting
+  the Recognition of a Lady--An Awkward Third--Considerations
+  due to Ladies in case of Street-Accidents--Courtesy to
+  Ladies who are alighting from a Carriage--Custom of offering
+  the Arm to Ladies in the Street, when ascending Steps, etc.
+  --On entering Church, etc., with Ladies--As one of a
+  Travelling-Party, etc.--Gait in walking with elderly Persons
+  or Ladies generally--Staring at Ladies in Public Places--
+  Manner to Ladies entering an Opera House, at a Pump-Room,
+  etc.--Audible Comments upon Strangers,                            128
+
+
+SKETCHES ILLUSTRATIVE OF MANNERS.
+
+  THE "CUT" PORTUGUESE.--Newspapers and Coffee--West Point and
+  a Discussion--A Foreigner's Revenge,                              135
+
+  The Broken Fan: a Lady's Lament,                                  136
+
+  The "Iron Duke," and Youthful Reminiscences,                      137
+
+  Unexpected Rencontre--A Stroll and a Compliment--A Gentleman
+  of the Old School in the Street--A Tribute--A Daughter's
+  Boast--A Wedding--The Bridal Tour--The Rail-Car--An
+  Intruder--True Politeness--The Glass of Medical-water--The
+  Denouement,                                                       137
+
+  THE LETTER-BOX.--An Exciting Exclamation--A Group for a
+  Painter--A Query--Entreaties--An Explanatory Prelude--The
+  Fruitless Search--The Appeal--A Dialogue--An Admission--
+  Musical Sounds--A Prosy Inquiry--The Summing up--The Damper
+  --The Wish of a True Woman--An Insinuation--A Description
+  drawn from Life--A Valuable Portrait--A Tribute to American
+  Gentlemen--An Illustration--Stage Politeness to a Lady--
+  Acted Poetry: the Poetry of Real Life!                            141
+
+  THE PRISONER OF THE COLLISEUM.--A Moonlight Walk--A Secret
+  Appeal--The Fair Epicurean--The Recitation--An Apparition
+  --The Lasso--A Witty Reply--The Guerdon--The Clarion-note--
+  A Brilliant--Horseback on the Campagnia of Rome--The Pope's
+  Cortege--A Recognition--A Denouement--A Confession and the
+  Retort Courteous--A Sudden Transformation--The Beautiful
+  Arm--Powers' Studio--The Artist's Discovery--An Intimation,        149
+
+
+LETTER VI.
+
+MANNER--(_Continued._)
+
+
+RULES TO BE OBSERVED IN MAKING MORNING VISITS, AND IN SOCIETY
+GENERALLY.
+
+  Aversion to Ceremonious Morning Visits--Proper Hours--Suitable
+  Brevity--Character of Conversation--Card of Announcement--
+  Visits made at Hotels--Precautionary Rules--Mode of entering
+  a Drawing-Room--Drawing-Room Rules--When Meeting other
+  Visitors--When interrupted--When wishing to leave a Message
+  or make an Appointment, etc.--Proper Courtesy when Visitors
+  are taking Leave--Short Visits of mere Ceremony--Attendance
+  upon Ladies making Morning Visits--Attentions Suitable--
+  Introducing--Ladies to take precedence in rising to go away
+  --Gentlemen calling together--Dress, etc.,--When awaiting
+  Ladies in a Public Parlor--Standing when Ladies are Standing
+  --Offering the Arm--Suitable Gait--Minutia of Politeness--
+  Morning Wedding-Receptions--Whom you should Congratulate--
+  General Directions--Tact and Good Taste--Leaving Cards--Visits
+  on New-Year's Day--Ceremonious Intercourse with Superiors--
+  Manner at Church--Mrs. Chapone's Rule--Self-possession one of
+  the Distinctive Characteristics of Good-Breeding--Whispering,
+  Laughing, Staring, etc., to be avoided--Retaining the Hat not
+  admissible--Salutations at Church--Attending Ladies at
+  Concerts, Lectures, Opera, etc. etc.--Propriety of Retaining
+  the Seat you take on Entering--Incommoding Others--Courtesy
+  due to Those near you--Manner of well-bred Persons in a
+  Picture Gallery, etc.,--Reverence due to the Beautiful and
+  the Good--Partaking of Refreshments in Public Places--
+  Discourtesy of any Semblance of Intrusiveness--Etiquette in
+  Joining a Party--Politeness not to be laid aside in
+  Business-intercourse--Elaborate ceremony unsuitable, at
+  times--The Secret of Popularity--Manner at a Public Table--
+  Courtesy to Others--Self-importance a Proof of Vulgarity--
+  "Fast" Feeding--Pardonable Luxuriousness--Staring--Listening
+  to Private Conversations--Rudeness of Loud Talking and
+  Laughing, Shrugs, Glances, or Whispers--Courtesy due to a
+  Lady entering a Dining-Room--To Older Persons--Meeting or
+  passing Ladies in Public Houses--Influence of Trifles in the
+  Formation of Character--Frequent Discourtesy in ignoring the
+  Presence of Ladies in Public Parlors, etc. etc.--Politeness
+  due to Women, in Practical Emergencies--Nocturnal
+  Peccadilloes--Travelling--True Rules--Courtesy to Ladies, to
+  Age, to the Suffering--Indecorum of using Tobacco, etc. etc.,
+  in Public Conveyances--Ceremony a Shield, but not an
+  Excuse--A Challenge Extraordinary--Anecdote of P----, the
+  Poet--Practice and Tact essential to secure Polish of
+  Manner--Life-long Stumbling--Practical Rules, the result of
+  Annoying Experience--Carriage Hire--Driving with Ladies,
+  etc.,--Manner in Social Intercourse--As Host--Etiquette of
+  Dinners at Home--Precedence--Distinguished Guests--A Lady--A
+  Gentleman--Reception and Introduction of Guests--True
+  Hospitality as Host, better than mere Ceremony--Manner
+  towards those unacquainted with Conventional Rules--Manner at
+  Routs, at Home--Attention to Guests compatible with good
+  _ton_--Anecdote--Respect to be rendered to all one's
+  Acquaintances in General Society--To Married Ladies--To
+  Strangers--The Distinction thus Exhibited between the
+  Under-bred and the genuine Man of the World--No one
+  entitled to Self-Excuses in this Regard,                          157
+
+
+ANECDOTES, SKETCHES, ETC.
+
+  A PROPHESY.--Table-Talk--A Rescue and a Lady's Gratitude
+  --Jealousy Disarmed--Backwoodsmen--Cordiality--Costume and
+  Courtesy--Retort Courteous--An Interpolation and a Protest
+  --Mr. Clay's Popularity with the Fair--Secret of his Success
+  in Society--Mr. Clay and the _Belle Esprit_--A Definition
+  of Politeness--A Comical Illustration--A Pun--A well-turned
+  Compliment--Unconsciousness of Self--A Stranger's Impressions
+  --A Poetic Tribute,                                               179
+
+  THE DEVOTEE OF THE BEAUTIFUL.--A Morning Drive--Anticipation
+  --Spiritual Enjoyment--Discord--A Disappointment,                 184
+
+  THE SOLDIER'S WIFE AND THE GHOUL.--A Journey--The truly Brave
+  --The Arrival--A Chapter of Accidents--Self-Reproach--The
+  Ghoul--The Calmness of Despair--The Versatility of Woman--
+  But a Step from the Sublime to the Ridiculous--The Ghoul
+  again--A Defiant Spirit--Punctilious Ceremony,                    186
+
+  A FAIR CHAMPION.--A Query and its Solution--A Sketch--Raillery
+  --A Tete-a-Tete--An Interruption--"Fashionable" Hospitality--
+  Genuine Hospitality--A Mother's Advice--An indignant Spirit--
+  Rebellion,                                                        193
+
+  THE MAN OF ONE IDEA.--An Object for Worship--A Soiree--A
+  Polite Colloquy--The Host at Ease--A pleasing Hostess--The
+  Climax,                                                           198
+
+  Young America--an Anecdote,                                       200
+
+  THE PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHER.--A handsome Aristocrat--An
+  Accusation--A Courteous Neighbor--Fall of a "Fixed Star"
+  --Favorite Aphorism of Mrs. Combe--The Daughter of the
+  Siddons,                                                          201
+
+
+LETTER VII.
+
+HEALTH.
+
+
+THE TOILET, AS CONNECTED WITH HEALTH.
+
+  The True Basis of Health--Temperance an inclusive Term
+  --Foundation of the Eminence of J. Q. Adams--His Life a
+  Model for the Young--His early Habits--Vigorous Old Age--
+  Example of Franklin in regard to Temperance--Illustrations
+  afforded by our National History--The Bath--Varying Opinions
+  and Constitutions--Imprudent use of the Bath--Bishop Heber--
+  General Directions--The Art of Swimming--Sponging--
+  Deficiencies of the Toilet in England--Collateral Benefits
+  arising from habitual Sponge-bathing--The Hair--All Fantastic
+  Dressing of the Hair in bad taste--Use of Pomades--Vulgarity
+  of using Strong Perfumes--The Teeth--Use of Tobacco--Smoke
+  Dispellers--The Nails--The Feet--A complete Wardrobe essential
+  to Health--Early Rising--Its manifold Advantages--Example of
+  Washington, Franklin, etc., in this respect--Daniel Webster's
+  Eulogy upon Morning--Retiring early--Truth of a Medical Dogma
+  --Opposition of Fashion and Health--Early Hours essential to
+  the Student--Importance of the early Acquisition of Correct
+  Habits in this Regard--Illustration--A combination of Right
+  Habits essential to Health--Exercise--Walking--Pure Air--The
+  Lungs of a City--Superiority of Morning Air--An Erect Carriage
+  of the Body in Walking--Periodical Exercise--Necessary Caution
+  --The Unwise Student--A Warning--A Knowledge of Dietetics and
+  Physiology requisite to the Preservation of Health--Suitable
+  Works on these Subjects--Riding and Driving the Accomplishments
+  of a Gentleman--A Horse a desirable Possession--Testimony of
+  Dr. Johnson--The Pride of Skill--Needful Caution--Judicious
+  Selection of _Locale_ for these Modes of Exercise--Dr. Beatie's
+  Tribute to Nature--Importance of Temperance in Eating and
+  Drinking, as regards Health--The Cultivation of Simple Tastes
+  in Eating--Proper Preparation of Food Important to Health--
+  Re-action of the Human Constitution--Effect of Bodily Health
+  upon the Mind--The pernicious Use of Condiments, etc., etc.
+  --YOUNG AMBITION'S LADDER.--Hours for Meals--Dining Late--
+  Injurious Effects of Prolonged Abstinence--The Stimulus of
+  Distension--Repletion--Necessity of deliberate and thorough
+  Mastication--Judicious Use of Time in Eating--The Use of Wine,
+  Tobacco, etc.--The truly Free!--Dr. Johnson's Opinion--Novel
+  Argument against the Habits of Smoking and Drinking--Advice
+  of Sir Walter Raleigh to the Young--Then and Now--Council of
+  a "Looker-on" in this Utilitarian Age--Erroneous Impressions
+  --Authority of a celebrated Writer--Social Duties--The unbent
+  Bow--Rational Enjoyment the wisest Obedience to the Natural
+  Laws--A determined Pursuit in Life essential to Happiness and
+  Health--Too entire Devotion to a Single Object of Pursuit,
+  unwise--Arcadian Dreams--Attainable Realities--Truisms--Decay
+  of the Social and Domestic Virtues--Human Sacrifices--
+  Relaxations and Amusements requisite to Health--Superiority
+  of Amusements in the Open Air for Students and Sedentary
+  Persons generally--Benefits of Cheerful Companionship--
+  Objection to Games, etc., that require Mental Exertion--
+  Converse Rule--Fashionable Watering-places ill adapted to
+  Health--Avocations of the Farmer, Tastes as a Naturalist,
+  Travel, Sporting, etc., recommended--Depraved Public Taste
+  --Slavery to Fashion--Habits of Europeans, in this respect,
+  superior to our own--Modern Degeneracy--Folly thralled by
+  Pride,                                                            203
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIVE SKETCHES AND ANECDOTES.
+
+  TO GIVE ETERNITY TO TIME.--The Senate-Chamber and the Dying
+  Statesman--The Moral Sublime,                                     225
+
+  JONATHAN'S SINS AND A FOREIGNER'S PECCADILLO.--Celebrities
+  --Dinner-table Sallies--Grave Charges--Yankee Rejection of
+  Cold Meats--Self-Preservation the First Law of Nature!--
+  A Mystery Solved--National Impartiality--Anecdote--Storming
+  a Fort--Successful Defence, by a Lady, of herself!--A
+  Stratagem--The Daughter of a Gun--An Explanation--The
+  Tortures of Outraged Modesty,                                     226
+
+  Dr. Abernethy and his Yankee Patient,                             232
+
+  COSMOPOLITAN CHIT-CHAT.--A Heterogeneous Party--The Golden
+  Horn--Contemplations in a Turkish Caique--A Discussion--
+  "Christian Dogs" and the Dogs of Constantinople--An
+  unpleasant Discovery--A Magical Touch--The Song of the
+  Caidjis--A National Example,                                      232
+
+  THE IMPERTURBABLE GUEST.--A Dinner-Table Scene,                   238
+
+  The Youth and the Philosopher: Lines by Whitehead,                239
+
+
+LETTER VIII.
+
+LETTER-WRITING.
+
+  Importance of this Branch of Education--Its Frequent Neglect
+  --Usual Faults of the Epistolary Style--Applicability of
+  the rule of the Lightning-Tamer--Variety of Styles appropriate
+  to varying Subjects and Occasions--Impossibility of laying
+  down all-inclusive General Rules--Requisites of Letters of
+  Business--Legibility in Caligraphy--Affectation in this
+  respect--Avoidance of Servile Imitation--Advantage of
+  possessing a good Business-hand--Time-saving Importance of
+  Rapidity--Letters of Introduction--Form Suitable for Ordinary
+  Purposes--Specimen of Letters Introducing a Person in Search
+  of a Business Situation, Place of Residence, etc., etc.--
+  Introduction of Artists, Professional Men, etc.--Presenting a
+  Celebrity by Letter--Proper Attention to Titles, Modes of
+  abbreviating Titles, etc., etc.--Letters of Introduction to
+  be unsealed--Manner of Delivering Letters of Introduction--
+  Cards, Envelopes, Written Messages, etc., proper on such
+  Occasions--Appointments and due Courtesy, etc.--Form of
+  Letter to a Lady of Fashion--Etiquette in regard to Addresses
+  --Letters Presenting Foreigners--Personal Introductions--
+  Common Neglect of Etiquette in this respect--Proper Mode of
+  Introducing Young Persons, or those of inferior social
+  position--Of Introducing Men to Women, very Young Ladies,
+  etc.--Voice and Manner on such Occasions--Explanations due to
+  Strangers--Common Social Improprieties--American Peculiarity
+  --Hotel Registers, etc.--Courtesy due to Relations as well as
+  to Strangers--Impropriety of indiscriminate Introductions--
+  Preliminary Ceremonies among Men--In the Street--At Dinners
+  --Evening-Parties--Receptions--Conventional Rules subject to
+  Changes, dictated by good-sense--Supremacy of the Law of
+  Kindness--Visiting Cards--European Fashion of Cards--Style
+  usual in America--Place of Residence--Phrases for Cards
+  --Business Cards: Ornaments, Devices, Color, Size,
+  Legibility, etc.--Letters of Recommendation--Moral
+  Characteristic--Proper Style of Letters of Condolence--
+  Form of Letters of Congratulation--Admissibility of Brevity
+  --Letters to Superiors--Ceremonious Form for such
+  Communications--Proper Mode of Addressing Entire Strangers
+  --Common Error in this respect--Punch's Sarcasm--Diplomats
+  and Public Functionaries should be Models in Letter-writing
+  --An Enigma--Diplomatic Letters--Letters of Friendship and
+  Affection--General Requisites of Epistolary Composition--
+  Letters a Means of conferring and Receiving Pleasure--
+  Distinctive Characteristic of the Epistolary Style--
+  Peccadilloes--Aids facilitating the Practice in this
+  Accomplishment--Notes of Invitation, Acceptance, Regret
+  --Observance of Usage--Simplicity the best _ton_ and taste
+  --Etiquette with regard to Invitations to Dinner--Courtesy
+  in Matters of Social Life--Error of an American Author--
+  Ceremony properly preceding taking an uninvited Friend to
+  a Party--Abstract good-breeding the best Test of Propriety
+  --Proper form of Ceremonious Notes of Invitation--Use of
+  the Third Person in writing Notes--Mailed Letters--Local
+  Addresses, Form of Signature, etc., etc.--Requisites of
+  Letter-Superscription--Writing-Materials--Small Sheets,
+  Margins, etc.--Colored Paper, Fanciful Ornaments, Initials,
+  &c.--Envelopes and Superscription--Wax, Seals, etc.--European
+  Letters--Rule--Promptitude in Letter-writing--Study of
+  Published Models beneficial to the Young--Scott, Byron,
+  Moore, Horace Walpole, Washington--Sir W. W. Pepys, etc.
+  --Curiosities of the Epistolary Style--Anticipated Pleasure,      241
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS.
+
+  THE WARNING--A SKETCH OF NILE-TRAVEL.--A Group and a Dialogue
+  amid the Ruins of Thebes--Mustapha Aga and the Temple of
+  Karnac--The Arrival--The Distribution--Delights,
+  Disappointments, and Despair,                                     268
+
+  Anecdote of the Mighty Wizard of the North,                       273
+
+  A DRAWING-ROOM COTERIE OF CRITICISM.--The Library and the
+  Intruder--Paternal Authority--Condemnation--Comments and
+  Criticisms--A Compliment--A fair Bevy--Wit and Wisdom--
+  Sport and Seriousness--A Model Note and a Fair Eulogist--
+  Paternal Approbation--What American Merchants should be
+  --An Anecdote--Discoveries and Accessions--_Apropos_--Fair
+  Play and a _Ruse_--A Group of Critics--An Invitation--A
+  Rival--An Explanation and an Admission--A Rescue and Retreat
+  --An Old Man's Privilege--Seventeen and Eighty-two--May and
+  December,                                                         273
+
+  The First Billet-Doux,                                            284
+
+
+LETTER IX.
+
+ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
+
+  Comparative Importance of Accomplishments--Difference between
+  Europeans and Americans in this regard--Self-Education the
+  most Useful--Peculiar Incentives to Self-Culture possessed by
+  Americans--Cultivation of a Taste for the Ideal Arts--
+  Desirableness of a Knowledge of Drawing--Incidental Benefit
+  resulting from the Practice of this Art--A Taste for Music--
+  Mistaken Conceptions of the Importance of this Accomplishment
+  --Advantage of learning Dancing--Desirableness of Riding and
+  Driving--Various Athletic Exercises--A ready and graceful
+  Elocution of great Importance--A Source of Social Enjoyment
+  --The Art of Conversation--Use of Slang Phrases--Disadvantages
+  of Occasional Lenity towards the Corruptions of Language--
+  The only Safe Rule--Common want of Conversational Power--
+  The Superiority of the French over all other People in this
+  Respect--The Salons of Paris--Pleasures of the _Canaille_--
+  French Children--Practice essential to Success--The
+  Embellishments of Conversation--Habits of a Celebrated Talker
+  --Anecdote of Sheridan--Some Preparation not Unsuitable before
+  going into Society--Qualities most essential to secure
+  Popularity in General Society--The "Guilt of giving
+  Pain"--Avoidance of Personalities--The Language of
+  Compliment--Two Good Rules--Reprehensibleness of the Habit of
+  indulging in Gossip, Scandal, or Puerile Conversation--The
+  Records of "Heaven's High Chancery"--Importance of Exact
+  Truthfulness in Conversation--The Capacity of adapting
+  Language to Occasions of Importance--Use of Foreign Phrases
+  or Words--Tact and Good-Breeding the Safest Guides in such
+  Matters--Advantage of the Companionship of Cultivated
+  Persons, in Promoting Conversational Skill--Misuse of Strong
+  Language--Conversational Courtesies--Aphorism by Mr.
+  Madison--Modesty Proper to the Young in this Respect--Bad
+  taste of talking of one's self in Society--The World an
+  Unsuitable Confidant--Quotation from Carlyle--Sympathy with
+  Others--The softer graces of Social Intercourse--Cheerfulness
+  universally Agreeable--A Glee in which Everybody can join
+  --Anecdote--Human Sunbeams--Judicious selection of
+  Conversational Topics--Avoidance of Assumption and
+  Dictatorialness--Proper Regard for the Right of Opinion
+  --Courtesy due to Ladies and Clergymen--Folly of
+  Promulgating Peculiarities of Religious Opinion--Rudeness
+  of manifesting Undue Curiosity respecting the Affairs of
+  Others--Boasting of Friends--Anecdote--Quickness at Repartee,
+  one of the Colloquial Graces--Dean Swift and his "fellow"--
+  Anecdote of the Elder Adams--A Ready and Graceful Reply
+  to a Compliment not to be Disregarded among the Elegancies
+  of Conversation--The Retort Courteous--Lady Hamilton and
+  Lord Nelson--Specimens of Polite Phraseology--General
+  Conversation with Ladies--Essential Characteristics of
+  Light Conversation--Improprieties and Familiarities--
+  Disagreeable Peculiarities--A Dismal Character--Anecdote
+  of Cuvier--Tact in Avoiding Personal Allusions--Peculiarity
+  of American Society--Ages of the Loves and Graces--A Young
+  Jonathan and an English Girl--Violation of Confidence--
+  Sacredness of Private Conversations--Politeness of a Ready
+  Compliance with the Wishes of Others in Society,                  286
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIVE ANECDOTES AND SKETCHES.
+
+  SANG FROID AND SANDWICHES.--A Ride with a Duke--The eager
+  young Sportsman--A Rencontre--A Query and a Response--A
+  substantial _Bonne Bouche_,                                       312
+
+  A Frenchman's Relaxation,                                         314
+
+  Polemics and Politeness--Watering-place Society--Omnibus
+  Orations--Sulphur-water and Sacrifices--Religionists, Ladies
+  and License, Reaction and Remorse,                                315
+
+  An unexpected Declaration--Parisian _furore_--The unknown
+  Patient--Practice and Pathos,                                     317
+
+  The Three Graces--Honor to whom Honor was Due--A Group for a
+  Sculptor--Woman's Wit,                                            318
+
+  Scene in a Drawing-room,                                          320
+
+  Musical Mania--Guitar playing and the play of Intellect,          321
+
+  A Fair Discussion,                                                323
+
+  National Dialect--A Bagatelle,                                    324
+
+  A Murillo and a Living Study--A Morning in the Louvre with a
+  congenial Friend--A Painter's Advice--True Epicureanism,          326
+
+  Ready Elocution and Ready Wit--A Congressional Sketch,            327
+
+
+LETTER X.
+
+HABIT.
+
+  HABIT always Indicative of Character--Its Importance not
+  properly estimated by the Young--Rudeness and Republicanism
+  too often Synonymous--Fashion not always Good-breeding--
+  Social American Peculiarities--Manners of Americans abroad
+  --Rowdyism at the Tuileries--The Propriety of Learning from
+  Older Nations the lighter Elegancies of Life--Madame Soule
+  and the Queen of Spain--The tie of a Cravat and the Affairs
+  of "Change"--George Peabody a Model American--The distinctive
+  name of Gentleman--Great Importance of Suitable Associates--
+  Spanish Proverb--The true Social Standard--Safeguard against
+  Eccentricity--Habits of Walking, Standing, Sitting--
+  Directions--Aaron Burr and De Witt Clinton--Bachelor
+  Privileges--Decorum in the presence of Ladies--Carrying the
+  Hat, ease of Attitude, etc.--Benefits of habitual
+  Self-Restraint--Habits at Table--Eating with a Knife--Soiling
+  the Lips, Picking the Teeth, etc., etc.--Nicety In Matters of
+  Detail--Courtesy due to others--Manner to Servants in
+  Attendance at Table--Avoidance of Sensuousness of Manner--
+  French Mode of Serving Dinners--The Art of Carving--Helping
+  Ladies at Table--Rule in Carving Joints of Meat--Changing the
+  Plate--Proper Mode of Taking Fish--Game--Butter at Dinner--
+  English Custom--Details of Habit at Table--Rights of Freemen--
+  A Just Distinction--Unhealthfulness of drinking too much at
+  Dinner--Fast Eating of Fast Americans--Sitting upon two Legs
+  of a Chair--Anecdote--Habits of using the Handkerchief--Toying
+  with the Moustache, etc., etc.--Ladies careful Observers of
+  Minutiae--Belief of the Ancient Gauls respecting Women--Habits
+  of Swaggering in Public Places--General Suggestions--Ladies
+  and Invalids in Terror of a Human War-Horse--Courtesy due
+  while playing Chess and other Games--Self-control in Sickness
+  --Premature adoption of Eye-Glasses--Affectation in this
+  respect--Proper Attitude while Reading or Studying--Habits
+  of Early Rising--A Poetic Superstition unwarranted by Health
+  and Truth--Variance between Health and Fashion in regard to
+  Early Hours--Aphorism by Gibbon--Habit of taking Nostrums--
+  Avoidance of Quacks--Habit of acting as the Protectors of
+  the Dependent Sex--Effect of Trifling Habits upon the
+  Opinions formed of us by Women--Habits of handling Prints,
+  Bijouterie, and Boquets, of Smoking, Whispering and Ogling,
+  to be shunned--Importance of Methodical Habits of Reading
+  and Studying--Value of the Gold Dust of Time--Anecdote--
+  True Rule for Reading to Advantage--Habit of Reading aloud
+  --Great Importance of a Habit of Industry--The Superiors of
+  mere Genius--Habits of Cheerfulness and Contentment not to
+  be overlooked by the Young--Cultivation of Habitual
+  Self-Respect--Pride and Poverty not Necessarily Antagonistic
+  --Self-Respect a Shield against the Shafts of Calumny--True
+  Honor not affected by Occupation or Position--Benefits of
+  a Habit of Self-Examination--The habitual Study of the
+  Scriptures recommended--CHRIST, the Great Model of Humanity
+  --Ungentlemanly Habit of being late at Church, etc.--
+  Pernicious Effects of prevalent Materialism--Personal
+  Enjoyment resulting from habitually idealizing all Mental
+  Associations with Women--Defencelessness an Impassable
+  Barrier to Oppression from true Manhood--Impropriety of
+  speaking loudly to Ladies in public Places, of attracting
+  Attention to them, their Names and Prerogatives--Safe Rule in
+  this regard--The Habit of Sympathy with Human Suffering a
+  Christian duty--Mistaken Opinion of Young Men in this
+  respect--The Examples presented by the Lives of the Greatly
+  Good--Mighty Achievements in the Cause of Humanity in the
+  Power of a Few--Habits of Good-Humor, Neatness, Order and
+  Regularity due to others--Fastidious Nicety in Matters of the
+  Toilet, demanded by proper respect for our daily Associates
+  --The Importance of Habits of Exercise, Temperance and
+  Relaxation--Economy to be Cultivated as a Habit--Economy
+  not Degrading--Habit of Punctuality--Slavery to mere System
+  condemned--Remark of Sir Joshua Reynolds--Habit of
+  Perseverance--Value of the Habit of putting Ideas into
+  Words--Of Habits of Reflection and Observation--Of rendering
+  Respect to Age, etc.--Culture of Esthetical Perceptions--
+  American Peculiarity--Curiosity not tolerated among the
+  well-bred--The inestimable value of Self-Possession--Its
+  Natural Manifestations--Concluding Advice,                        329
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS.
+
+  JONATHAN AND QUEEN VICTORIA.--A Stroll through the World's
+  Palace--A Royal Party--The Yankee Enthroned--A Confession,        362
+
+  DAMON AND PYTHIAS MODERNIZED.--A Family Council--A Celebrity
+  and a Hotel Dinner--A Discovery--A Sketch--Telegraphing and
+  Triumph--Beer and a Break-down--Drawing-room Chit-chat--A
+  Young Lady's Eulogy--Retort Courteous--A New Acquaintance--
+  An Explanation--Dinner the Second--Sense and Sensibility--A
+  Ruse--A Request and Appointment--A Contrast--Catastrophy--A
+  Note and a Disappointment--Fair Frankness--An Unexpected
+  Rencontre--The Re-union--Pictures and Pleasantries--The
+  Protector of the Helpless,                                        363
+
+  A VISIT TO ABBOTSFORD.--Sir Walter Scott as Colonel of
+  Dragoons, Sheriff of the County, Host, Friend, and Author
+  --Mrs. Hemans and Little "Charley"--Courteous Hospitality
+  --At Driburg with Mr. Lockhart--Solution of a Mystery--
+  Sir Walter's favorite "Lieutenant,"                               382
+
+  Confession of a Celebrated Orator,                                385
+
+  THE LEMON AND THE CARNATION.--A Stage-Coach Adventure--A
+  fair Passenger--Churlishness and Cheerfulness--A Comic
+  Duet--Stage-Sickness--An impromptu Physician--Offerings
+  --Acknowledgments--A Docile Patient--Welcome Home--Arrival
+  --A Family Group--A Discovery--Recognition--An Invitation
+  --Hospitality--Sunday Evening at the Rectory--The Honorable
+  Occupation of Teaching Young Ladies--A Prophesy--Family Jars
+  --A Compliment,                                                   386
+
+  A Notability and his Newfoundland Dog,                            400
+
+  EXTREMES MEET.--European Travelling-Companion--A cool
+  Place and a "cool" Character--A Foreigner's Criticism--
+  Fair Commentators--Dinner-table Sketch--Three Parties in
+  a Rail-Car--Sunshine and Showers--An Earth-Angel--Anecdote
+  of Thorwalsden, the Danish Sculptor--A Scene--Gentlemanly
+  Inquiries--Paddy's Explanation,                                   401
+
+  HAVE YOU BEEN IMPATIENT?--A Broken Engagement--About a Horse
+  --Charley's Orphan Cousin--Ideas of Luxury--Novel Experiences
+  --The freed Bird--Bless God for Flowers and Friends!--A
+  Recoil--A Tirade--The Bird Re-caged--Self-Examination--
+  Retrospection and Resolution--A Note and a Boquet--A Blush
+  Transfixed,                                                       412
+
+
+LETTER XI.
+
+MENTAL AND MORAL EDUCATION.
+
+  The Author's Conscious Incapacity--Education within the Power
+  of All--Americans not Socially Trammelled--The Two Attributes
+  of Mind essential to Self-Culture--Prospective Discernment--
+  The most enlightened System of Education--Duty of Cultivating
+  the Moral as well as the Intellectual Nature--The Acquisition
+  of Wealth not to be regarded as the highest Human Attainment
+  --Definition of Self-Culture--Reading for Amusement only,
+  Unwise--"Aids and Appliances" of Judicious Reading--Example
+  of a Great Man--Fictitious Literature--Pernicious Effects
+  often resulting from a Taste for Light Reading--Condemnation
+  of Licentious Novels--Advantages of Noting Choice Passages
+  in Reading--Carlyle's Criticism of Public Men--The Study of
+  History of Great Importance--Benefits resulting from the
+  Perusal of well-selected Biographies--Enumeration of
+  celebrated Works of this Character--Newspaper and Magazine
+  Reading--A Cultivated Taste in Literature and Art the result
+  of thorough Mental Training--Affectation and Pretention in
+  this regard to be avoided--Critical Assumption condemned--
+  Impressions produced upon observing Judges by a Pretentious
+  Manner--"The World's Dread Laugh"--Advantages of Foreign
+  Travel--Misuse of this Advantage--Knowledge of Modern
+  Languages essential to a complete Education--False Impression
+  prevalent on this point--Philosophic Wisdom--Wise Covetousness
+  --Tact the Result of General Self-Culture--An Individual Moral
+  Code of advantage--Example of Washington--Education not
+  completed by a Knowledge of Books--Definition of True
+  Education--The Development of the Moral Perceptions promotive
+  of Intellectual Advancement--Undue Exaltation of Talent over
+  Virtue--Religious Faith the legitimate Result of
+  rightly-directed Education--Needful Enlightenment of
+  Conscience--The Life of Jesus Christ the best Moral
+  Guide-Book--Charity to the Faults of others the Result of
+  Self-Knowledge--The Golden Rule of the Great Teacher--The
+  highest Aim of Humanity--Reverence for the Spiritual Nature
+  of Man the Result of Self-Culture--Danger of Self-Indulgence
+  in regard to trifling Errors--Caution against the Infidel
+  Philosophy of the Times--The establishment of Fixed
+  Principles of Action--The True Mode of computing Life,            438
+
+  The Attainment of Knowledge under Difficulties--Necessity the
+  Nurse of True Greatness--The Learned Blacksmith--The Wagoner
+  --The Mill-Boy of the Slashes--Franklin and Webster,              439
+
+  A Peep at Passers-by, from the "Loopholes of Retreat,"            440
+
+  The Force of Genius--A Man about Town--Anecdote--Manly
+  Indignation,                                                      441
+
+  Old-Fashioned Honor,                                              442
+
+  Webster on Biblical Studies,                                      443
+
+  The Young Frenchman and the Pyramids,                             443
+
+  PECCADILLOES AND PUNCTILIOUSNESS.--Extract--Sir Humphrey
+  Davy--Tribute to Religion,                                        446
+
+
+LETTER XII.
+
+CHOICE OF COMPANIONS AND FRIENDS.--SELECTION OF A PURSUIT IN
+LIFE.--COURTSHIP.--MARRIAGE.--HOUSEKEEPING.--PECUNIARY MATTERS.
+
+  RULE to be observed in the Selection of Associates--Advantage
+  of the Companionship of Persons of more Experience than
+  Ourselves--False Sentiments entertained by Lord Byron
+  regarding Friendship--Self-Consciousness affords the best
+  Contradiction to these Erroneous Opinions--Value of
+  Friendship--Importance of the Judicious Selection of
+  Confidants--Folly of demanding Perfection in one's Friends
+  --Selection of Employment--The first Consideration in this
+  Relation--Thorough Education should not be confined to
+  Candidates for the Learned Professions--The Merchant Princes
+  of America--Avenues for Effort--All Honest Occupations
+  dignified by Right Conduct--The Pursuit of Wealth as an
+  End--Freedom the Prerogative of the Worker--A Professional
+  Manner Condemned--Individual Insignificance--Advantages of
+  Early Marriage--Cause of prevalent Domestic Unhappiness--Each
+  Individual the best Judge of his own Conjugal Requisites--
+  Health, Good-Temper, and Education essential in a Wife--
+  Accomplishments not essential to Domestic Happiness--
+  Disadvantages resulting from a previous Fashionable Career
+  --A True Wife--Respect due to the proper Guardians of a Lady
+  by her Suitor--Advantages of a Friendship with a Married Lady
+  --Reserve and Respect of Manner due to Female Friends--Manly
+  Frankness as a Suitor the only Honorable Course--Attachment
+  to one Woman no Excuse for Rudeness to others--The Art of
+  Pleasing--Presents, Complimentary Attentions, etc.--Nicety
+  of Perception usual in Women--Power of the Law of Kindness
+  in Home-Life--The Slightest Approach to Family Dissension to
+  be carefully avoided--The Duty of a Husband to exert a Right
+  Influence over his Wife--Union of Spirit the only Satisfying
+  Bond--More than Roman Sternness assumed by some--Sacredness
+  of all the Better Emotions of the Human Heart--Expressive
+  Synonymes--Pecuniary Matters--The Pernicious Effects of
+  Boarding--An Old Man's Advice--Household Gods--Propriety of
+  Providing for Future Contingencies--Slavery Imposed by Pride
+  and Poverty--Comfort and Refinement compatible with Moderate
+  Resources--Books and Works of Art to be preferred to Fine
+  Furniture--Importance of Cherishing the Esthetical Tastes of
+  Children--"Keeping" a great Desideratum in Social and
+  Domestic Life,                                                    447
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIVE SKETCHES, ETC.
+
+  THE MOOTED POINT.--A Morning Visit and Morning Occupations--
+  Macaulay and the Blanket Coat--Curate's Daughters and the
+  Daughters of New-England--A Sybarite--A Disclaimer and a
+  Witticism--Not a Gentleman--"Trifles make the sum of Human
+  Things"--The Slough of Despond--A Gift--Reading Poetry--
+  A Soldier's Tactics--The "Unpardonable Sin"--A Fair Champion
+  and a Noble Sentiment,                                            463
+
+  Anecdotes of a British Minister, an Ex-Governor, and an
+  American Statesman,                                               470
+
+  Chief-Justice Marshall and the Young Man of Fashion,              472
+
+  Habits of Early Friends,                                          478
+
+  THE PROPHECY FULFILLED.--A Denouement--Cupid turned Carrier--
+  Wedding-Cards and Welcome News--A True Woman's Letter,            478
+
+  Uncle Hal's Farewell,                                             480
+
+
+
+
+THE
+AMERICAN GENTLEMAN'S GUIDE.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER I.
+
+DRESS.
+
+
+MY DEAR YOUNG FRIENDS:--
+
+As you are already, to some extent, acquainted with the design and scope
+of the Letters I propose to address to you, there is no necessity for an
+elaborate prelude at the commencement of the series.
+
+We will, with your permission, devote our attention first to _Dress_--to
+the external man--and advance, in accordance with the true rules of Art,
+gradually, towards more important subjects.
+
+Whatever may be the abstract opinions individually entertained
+respecting the taste and regard for comfort evinced in the costume now,
+with trifling variations, almost universally adopted by men in all
+civilized lands, few will dispute the practical utility of conforming to
+the general requisitions of Fashion.
+
+Happily for the gratification of fancy, however, the all-potent goddess,
+arbitrary and imperative as are her laws, permits, at least to some
+extent, such variations from her general standard as personal
+convenience, physical peculiarities, or varying circumstances may
+require.
+
+But a due regard for these and similar considerations by no means
+involves the exhibition of _eccentricity_, which I hold to be
+inconsistent with good taste, whether displayed in dress or manner.
+
+A violation of the established rules of Convention cannot easily be
+defended, except when required by our obligations to the more strenuous
+requirements of duty. Usually, however, departures from conventional
+propriety evince simply an ill-regulated character. The Laws of
+Convention, like all wise laws, are instituted to promote "the greatest
+good of the greatest number." They constitute a _Code of Politeness and
+Propriety_, adapted to the promotion of social convenience, varying
+somewhat with local circumstances, it may be, but everywhere
+substantially the same. It is common to talk of the eccentricities of
+genius, as though they are essential concomitants of genius itself.
+Nothing can be more unfounded and pernicious than this impression. The
+eccentricities that sometimes characterize the intellectually gifted,
+are but so many humiliating proofs of the imperfection of human nature,
+even when exhibiting its highest attributes. Hence the affectation of
+such peculiarities simply subjects one to ridicule, and, in many
+instances, to the contempt of sensible people.
+
+Some years since, when Byron was the "bright, particular star"
+worshipped by young Sophs, it was quite a habit among our juvenile
+collegians to drink gin, wear their collars _a la mode de Byron_,
+cultivate misanthropy upon system, and manifest the most concentrated
+horror of seeing women eat! In too many instances, the sublimity of
+genius was meagerly illustrated by these aspirants for notoriety. In
+place of catching an inspiration, they only caught cold; their gloomy
+indifference to the hopes, the enjoyments, and pursuits of ordinary
+life, distressed no one, save, perhaps, their _ci-devant_ nurses, or the
+"most tender of mothers;" their "killing" peculiarities of costume were
+scarcely daguerreotyped even upon the impressible hearts of the
+school-girls whose smiling observance they might chance passingly to
+arrest; women of sense and education pertinaciously adhered to a liking
+for roast beef, with variations, and manifested an equally decided
+partiality for the society and attention of men who were not indebted
+for the activity of their intellects to the agency of the juniper berry!
+Falling into such absurdities as these, a man cannot hope to escape the
+obnoxious imputation of being _very young_!
+
+But while care is taken to avoid the display of undue attention to the
+adornment of the outer man, everything approaching to indifference or
+neglect, in that regard, should be considered equally reprehensible. No
+one entertains a more profound respect for the prodigious learning of
+Dr. Johnson, from knowing that he often refused to dine out rather than
+change his linen; nor are we more impressed by the gallant tribute to
+kindred genius that induced his attending Mrs. Siddons to her carriage,
+when she visited him in the third-floor rooms he continued to occupy
+even in his old age, because his trunk-hose were dangling about his
+heels, as he descended the stairs with his fair guest. One does not envy
+Porson, the greatest of modern Greek scholars, his habitually dirty and
+shabby dress, because it is forever associated with his learned
+celebrity! Neither is Greeley a better, or more influential editor, that
+he is believed to be invisible to mortal eyes except when encased in a
+long drab-colored overcoat. He, however, seems to have adopted an axiom
+laid down in a now almost-forgotten novel much admired in my
+youth--"Thaddeus of Warsaw," I think--"Acquire the character of an
+oddity, and you seat yourself in an easy-chair for life." The
+supposition of monomania most charitably explains the indulgence in
+habits so disgusting as those well-known to have characterized the
+distinguished _savant_ ----, who died recently at Paris. Had he slept in
+a clean bed, and observed the decencies of life, generally, the race
+would have been equally benefited by his additions to scientific lore,
+and his country the more honored that he left a name in no degree in
+_bad odor_ with the world!
+
+But to return:--No better uninspired model for young Americans exists
+than that afforded, in the most minute details, of the life and
+character of Washington; and even upon a point comparatively so
+insignificant as that we are at present discussing, he has left us his
+recorded opinion: "Always," he writes to his nephew, "have your clothes
+made of the best materials, by the most accomplished persons in their
+business, whose services you can command, and in the prevailing
+fashion."
+
+With such illustrious authority for the advice, then, I unhesitatingly
+counsel you to dress _in the fashion_.
+
+To descend to particulars designed to include all the minutiae of a
+gentleman's wardrobe, were as futile as useless; but a few hints upon
+this point, may, nevertheless, not be wholly out of place in epistles so
+frank, practical and familiar as these are intended to be.
+
+The universal partiality of our countrymen for _black_, as the color of
+dress clothes, at least, is frequently remarked upon by foreigners.
+Among the best dressed men on the continent, as well as in England,
+black, though not confined to the clergy, is in much less general use
+than here. They adopt the darker shades of blue, brown and green, and
+for undress almost as great diversity of colors as of fabrics. An
+English gentleman, for instance, is never seen in the morning (which
+means abroad all that portion of the twenty-four hours devoted to
+business, out-door amusements and pursuits, &c.;--it is always _morning_
+until the late dinner hour has passed) in the half-worn coat of fine
+black cloth, that so inevitably gives a man a sort of shabby-genteel
+look; but in some strong-looking, rough, knock-about "fixin,"
+frequently of nondescript form and fashion, but admirably adapted both
+in shape and material for use--for work. Of this, by the way, every man,
+worthy of the name, has a daily portion to perform, in some shape or
+other--from the Duke of Devonshire, with a fortune that would purchase
+half-a-dozen consort-king-growing German principalities, and leave a
+princely inheritance for his successors, to the youngest son of a
+youngest son, who, though proud of the "gentle blood" in his veins,
+earns, as an _employe_ in the service of the government,--in some one of
+its ten thousand forms of patronage and power--the limited salary that
+barely suffices, when eked out by the most ingenious economy, to supply
+the hereditary necessities of a gentleman. But this is a digression. As
+I was saying in the morning, during work-hours, whatever be a man's
+employment, and wherever, his outside garb should be suited to ease and
+convenience, its only distinctive marks being the most scrupulous
+cleanliness, and the invariable accompaniment of fresh linen.
+
+Coming to the discussion of matters appertaining to a toilette elaborate
+enough for occasions of ceremony, I think of no better general rule than
+that laid down by Dr. Johnson (in his character of a shrewd observer of
+men and manners, rather than as himself affording an illustration of the
+axiom, perhaps)--"_the best dressed persons are those in whose attire
+nothing in particular attracts attention_."
+
+There is an indescribable air of refinement, a _je ne sais quoi_, as
+the French have it, at an equal remove from the over-washed look of your
+thorough Englishman (their close-cropped hair always reminds me of the
+incipient stage of preparation for assuming a strait-jacket!) and the
+walking tailor's advertisement that perambulates Fifth Avenue,
+Chestnut-street, the Boston Mall, and other fashionable promenades in
+our cis-Atlantic cities, in attendance upon the locomotive milliner's
+show-cases, yclept "belles"--God save the mark!
+
+The essentials of a gentleman's dress, for occasions of ceremony are--a
+stylish, well-fitting cloth coat, of some dark color, and of
+unexceptionable quality; nether garments to correspond, or in warm
+weather, or under other suitable circumstances, white pants of a
+fashionable material and make; the finest and purest linen, embroidered
+in white, if at all; a cravat and vest, of some dark or neutral tint,
+according to the physiognomical peculiarities of the wearer, and the
+_prevailing mode_; a fresh-looking, fashionable black hat and
+carefully-fitted, modish boots, light-colored gloves, and a soft, thin,
+white handkerchief.
+
+Perhaps, the most arbitrary of earthly divinities permits her subjects
+more license in regard to the arrangement of the hair and beard, than
+with respect to any other matter of the outer man. A real artist, and
+such every man should be, who meddles with the "human face divine" or
+its adjuncts, will discern at a glance the capabilities of each head
+submitted to his manipulation. Defects will thus be lessened, or wholly
+concealed, and good points brought out.
+
+If you wear your beard, wear it in moderation--extremes are always
+vulgar! Avoid all fantastic arrangements of the hair--turning it under
+in a huge roll, smooth as the cylinder of a steam-engine, and as little
+suggestive of good taste and comfort as would be the coil of a boa
+constrictor similarly located, parting it in Miss Nancy style, and
+twisting it into love [soap?] locks with a curling-tongs, or allowing it
+to straggle in long and often, seemingly, "uncombed and unkempt" masses
+over the coat-collar. This last outrage of good-taste is so gross a
+violation of what is technically called "keeping," as to excite in me
+extreme disgust. Ill, indeed, does it accord with the trim, compact,
+easily-portable costume of our day, and a miserable imitation, it is of
+the flowing hair that, in days of yore, fell naturally and gracefully
+upon the broad lace collar turned down over the velvet or satin
+short-cloak of the cavaliers and appropriately adorning shoulders upon
+which, with equal fitness, drooped a long, waving plume, from the
+wide-brimmed, steeple-crowned, picturesque hat that completed the
+costume.
+
+While on this subject of _collars_, etc., let us stop to discuss for a
+moment the nice matter of their size and shape. Just now, like the
+"life" of a "poor old man," they have "dwindled to the shortest span,"
+under the pruning shears of the operatives of the mode. Whether this is
+the result of a necessity growing with the lengthening beards that
+threaten wholly to ignore their existence, you must determine for
+yourselves, but I must enter my protest against the total extinction of
+this relieving line of white, so long, at least, as the broad wristband,
+now so appropriately accompanying the wide coat-sleeve, shall remain in
+vogue.
+
+The mention of this last tasteful appendage naturally brings to mind the
+highly ornate style of sleeve-buttons now so generally adopted. Eschew,
+I pray you, all _flash stones_ for these or any other personal ornament.
+Nothing is more unexceptionable for sleeve-buttons and the fastenings of
+the front of a shirt, than _fine gold_, fashioned in some simple form,
+sufficiently massive to indicate use and durability, and skillfully and
+handsomely wrought, if ornamented at all. Few young men can consistently
+wear diamonds, and they are, if not positively exceptionable, in no
+degree requisite to the completion of the most elaborate toilette. But
+those who do sport them, should confine themselves to genuine stones of
+unmistakable water, and never let their number induce in the minds of
+beholders the recollection that a travelling Jew--whether from
+hereditary distrust of the stability of circumstances, or from some
+other consideration of personal convenience, usually carries his entire
+fortune about his person! Better the simplest fastenings of
+mother-of-pearl than such staring vulgarity of display. And so of a
+watch and its appendages. A _gentleman_ carries a watch for convenience,
+and secures it safely upon his person, wearing with it no useless
+ornament, paraded to the eye. It is, like his pencil and purse, good of
+its kind, and if he can afford it, handsome, but it is never _flashy_!
+
+The fashion of sporting _signet-rings_ is not so general, perhaps, as it
+was a little while since, but it still retains a place among the minutiae
+of our present theme. Here, again, the same general rules of good taste
+apply as to other ornaments. When worn at all, everything of this sort
+should be most unexceptionably and unmistakably tasteful and genuine.
+Any deviation from good _ton_, in this regard, will as inevitably give a
+man the air of a loafer as an ill-fitting boot will, or the slightest
+declension from the perpendicular in his hat!
+
+In connection with my earnest advice in regard to all flash ornaments,
+to whatever purpose applied, I must not omit to record my protest
+against staring patterns in pants, cravats, vests, etc. Carefully avoid
+all the large, many-colored plaids and stripes, of which (as _Punch_ has
+demonstrated) it takes more than one ordinary-sized man to show the
+pattern; and all glaring colors as well. I have no partiality, as I
+believe I have intimated, for the eternal dead black which, abroad at
+least, belongs, by usage, primarily to the clergy; but this is a better
+extreme than that which has for its original type the sign-board
+getting-up of a horse-jockey.
+
+A fashion has of late years obtained extensively, which has always,
+within my remembrance, had its admirers--that of a _white suit
+throughout_, for very warm weather. This has the great merit of comfort,
+and some occupations permit its adoption without inconvenience. But
+even the use of thin summer cravats (which should always be of some
+unconspicuous color) wonderfully mitigates the sufferings incident to
+the dog-days, and these are admissible for dress occasions, when
+corresponding with the general effect of the vest and nether
+investments.
+
+To recur once more to the important item of body linen;--never wear a
+_colored_[1] shirt--have no such article in your wardrobe. Figures and
+stripes do not conceal impurity, nor should this be a desideratum with
+any decent man. The now almost obsolete German author, Kotzebue--whose
+plays were very much admired when I was young, and whom your modern
+students of German should read in the original--I remember, makes one of
+his female characters, a sensible, observing woman, say that she
+detected a _gentleman_ in the disguise of a menial by observing the
+_fineness of his linen_! If your occupation be such as to require
+strong, rough-and-tumble garments, wear them, unhesitatingly, when you
+are at work, but have them good of their kind, and keep them clean.
+While your dress handkerchief should not look, either for size or
+quality, as if you had, for the nonce, perverted the proper use of
+bed-linen--in the woods, for pioneer travelling, rough riding, etc., a
+bandanna is more sensible, as is a cut-away coat, or something of that
+sort, with ample pockets, loose, strong, and warm, and a "soft"
+broad-brimmed, durable hat, or cap, as the case may be--not an old, fine
+black cloth dress-coat, surmounted by a narrow-rimmed "segment of a
+stove-pipe," with a satin cravat, though it be half-worn! In short, my
+dear boys, study fitness and propriety in all things. This is the
+legitimate result of a well regulated mind, the characteristic of a true
+Gentleman--which every American should aim to be--not a thing made up of
+dress, perfumery, and "boos," as Sir Archy McSycophant styled them; but
+a right-minded, self-respecting man, with Excelsior for his motto, and
+our broad, free, glorious land "all before him, where to choose" the
+theatre of a useful, honorable life. Matters like those I have dwelt on
+in this letter, are trifles, comparatively; but trifles, in the
+aggregate, make life, and, thus viewed, are not unworthy the subordinate
+attention of a man of sense. They are collateral, I admit, but they go
+to make up the perfect whole--to assist in the attainment of the true
+standard which every young man should keep steadily in view. And,
+insignificant as the effect of attention to such matters may appear to
+you, depend upon it, that habits of propriety and refinement in regard
+to such personal details, have more than a negative influence upon
+character in general. The man who preserves inviolable his self-respect,
+in regard to all personal habits and surroundings, is, _ceteris
+paribus_, far less likely to acquire a relish for low company and
+profligate indulgences, and to cultivate correspondent mental and moral
+attributes. It occurs to me that, going into detail, as I have, your
+attention should, in the proper connection, have been called to a little
+matter of dress etiquette, of which you moderns are strangely
+neglectful, as it appears to an old stickler for propriety like me. To
+have offered an ungloved hand to a lady, in the dance, would, in days
+when I courted the graces, have been esteemed a peccadillo, and
+over-punctilious as you may think me, it seems very unhandsome to me. A
+dress costume is no more complete without gloves than without boots, and
+to touch the pure glove of a lady with uncovered fingers
+is--impertinent!
+
+  [1] It will be understood, of course, that the necessities and the
+  regulations of military life are here excepted.
+
+Here, again, let me condemn all fancy display. A fresh white, or, what
+amounts at night to the same thing, pale yellow glove, is the only
+admissible thing for balls, other large evening parties, ceremonious
+dinners, and wedding receptions; but for making ordinary morning visits,
+or for the street, some dark, unnoticeable color is in quite as good
+taste and _ton_. Bright-colored gloves bring the hands into too much
+conspicuousness for good effect, and, to my mind, give the whole man a
+plebeian air. I remember once being, for a long time, unable to divine
+what a finely-dressed young fellow, in whom I thought I recognised the
+son of an old college chum, could be carrying in each hand, as he walked
+towards me across the Albany Park; of similar size and color, he seemed,
+John Gilpin like, to have
+
+    ----"hung a bottle on each side
+    To keep the balance sure!"
+
+When I could, in sailor phrase, "make him out," behold a pair of great
+fat hands, incased in tight-fitting gloves, closely resembling in hue
+the brightest orange-colored wrapping-paper!
+
+You will expect me not entirely to overlook the important topic of
+_over-garments_.
+
+As in all similar matters, it is the best taste not to deviate so much
+from the prevailing modes as to make one's self remarkable. Fortunately,
+however, for the infinite diversity presented by the human form, a
+sufficient variety in this respect is offered by fashion to gratify the
+greatest fastidiousness. And no point of dress, perhaps, more
+imperatively demands discrimination, with regard to its selection. Thus,
+a tall, slender figure, with narrow shoulders and ill-developed arms, is
+displayed to little advantage in the close-fitting, long-skirted
+overcoat that would give desirable compactness to the rotund person of
+our short, portly friend, Alderman D., while the defects of the same
+form would be almost wholly concealed by one of the graceful and
+convenient Talmas that so successfully combine beauty and comfort, and
+afford, to an artistically-cultivated eye, the nearest approach to an
+abstract standard of taste, presented by masculine attire, since the
+flowing short cloak of the so-called Spanish costume was in vogue.
+
+Here, again, one is reminded of the propriety of regarding _fitness_ in
+the selection of garments especially designed to promote comfort.
+Nothing can well be more ungainly than the appearance of a man in one of
+the large woollen shawls that have of late obtained such general favor,
+at least as they are frequently worn, slouching loosely from the
+shoulders, and almost necessarily accompanied by a stoop, the more
+readily to retain them in place. They are well adapted to night travel,
+to exposed riding and driving (when properly secured about the chest),
+and are useful as wrappers when a man is dressed for the opera or a
+ball. But that any sensible person should encumber himself with such an
+appendage in _walking_--for daily street wear--is matter for surprise.
+They have by no means the merit for this purpose of the South American
+_poncho_, which is simply a large square shawl of thick woollen cloth,
+with an opening in the centre for passing it over the head, thus
+securing it in place, and giving the wearer the free use of his arms and
+hands, a desideratum quite overlooked in the usual arrangement, or
+rather _non_-arrangement of these dangling "M'cGregors." But the way, I
+well remember, that one of the young T----s of Albany, not very many
+years ago, was literally mobbed in the streets of that ancient asylum of
+Dutch predilections, upon his appearance there in a _poncho_ brought
+with him on his return from Brazil! So much for the mutations of fashion
+and opinion!
+
+To sum up all, let me slightly paraphrase the laconic and invariable
+advice of the immortal Nelson to the young middies under his command.
+"Always obey your superior officer," said the English hero, "and hate a
+Frenchman as you would the devil!" Now then, for my "new reading:"--In
+DRESS, _always obey the dictates of Fashion, regulated by good sense,
+and hate shabby gentility as you would the devil_!
+
+Well, you young dogs, here ends the substance of my first old-fashioned
+letter of advice to you. I will confess that upon being convinced, as I
+was at the very outset, how much easier it is to think and talk than to
+write, I was more than half inclined to recall my promise to you all.
+The pen of your veteran uncle, my boys, has little of "fuss and
+feathers," though it may be "rough and ready." The "Mill-Boy of the
+Slashes" used often to say, when we were both young men, and constantly
+associated in business matters as well as in friendship, "Let Lunettes
+do that, he holds the readier pen;" but times are changed since then,
+and you must not expect fine rhetorical flourishes, or the elegances of
+modern phraseology in these straight-forward effusions. I learned my
+English when "Johnson's Dictionary" was the only standard of our
+language, and the "Spectator" regarded as affording an unexceptionable
+model of style. With this proviso, I dare say, we shall get on bravely,
+now that we are once fairly afloat; and, perhaps, some day we'll get an
+enterprising publisher in our Quaker City to shape these effusions into
+a "_prent book_" for _private circulation_--a capital idea! at least for
+redeeming my crabbed hieroglyphics from being "damned with faint praise"
+by my "numerous readers," a thought by no means palatable to the
+sensitive mind of your old relative.
+
+I believe it was "nominated in the bond," that the subjects treated of
+in each of my promised letters shall be illustrated by stories, or
+anecdotes, drawn from what you were pleased to style "the ample stores
+furnished by a life of large observation and varied experience." It
+occurs to me, however, that as this, my first awkward essay to gratify
+your united wishes, has already grown to an inconceivable length, it
+were well to reserve for another occasion the fulfillment of the latter
+clause of your request, as more ample space and a less lagging pen may
+then second the efforts of
+
+  Your affectionate
+  UNCLE HAL.
+
+P. S.--In my next, I will include some practical directions respecting
+the details of costume suitable for various ceremonious occasions--the
+opera, dinners, weddings, etc., etc.
+
+"Whew!" methinks I hear you all exclaim, "our old uncle setting himself
+up as
+
+    "'The glass of fashion and the mould of form!'
+
+He may indeed be able to
+
+    ----"'hold the mirror up to Nature;'
+
+but to attempt to reflect the changeful hues of mere
+fashion"----
+
+Not too fast, my young friends! Do not suppose me capable of such folly.
+But, for the benefit of such of you as are so far removed from the
+centre of _ton_ as to require such assistance, I have invoked the aid
+of a good-humored friend, thoroughly _au fait_ in such matters, the
+"observed of all observers" in our American Belgravia, a luminary in
+whose rays men do gladly sun themselves.
+
+  H. L.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER II.
+
+SKETCHES AND ANECDOTES.
+
+
+MY DEAR NEPHEWS:
+
+In accordance with the promise with which I concluded my last letter, I
+will give you, in this, narrated in my homely way, some anecdotes,
+illustrative of the opinions I have expressed upon the subject of DRESS.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Liking, sometimes, to amuse myself by a study of the masses, in holyday
+attire and holyday humor,--to see the bone and sinew of our great
+country, the people who make our laws, and for whose good they are
+administered by their servants, enjoying a jubilee, and wishing also to
+meet some old friends who were to be there (among others, Gen. Wool,
+who, though politicians accused him of going to lay pipe for the
+presidency, is a right good fellow, and the very soul of old-fashioned
+hospitality), I went on one occasion to a little city in western New
+York, to attend a State Fair.
+
+On the night of the _fete_ that concluded the affair, your cousins,
+Grace and Gerte, to whom you all say I can refuse nothing, however
+unreasonable, insisted that I should be their escort, and protested
+warmly against my remonstrances upon the absurdity of an old fellow like
+me being kept up until after midnight to watch, like a griffin guarding
+his treasures, while two silly girls danced with some "whiskered
+Pandoor," or some "fierce huzzar," who would be as much puzzled to tell
+where he won his epaulettes as was our (militia) Gen. ----, of whom,
+when he was presented to that sovereign, on the occasion of a court
+levee, Louis Philippe asked, "where he had served!"
+
+It would not become me to repeat half the flattering things by which
+their elegant _chaperon_, Mrs. B. seconded the coaxing declarations of
+your cousins, that they would be "enough more proud to go with Uncle Hal
+than with all the half-dozen beaux together," whose services had been
+formally tendered and accepted for the occasion.
+
+"Yes, indeed," cried Gerte, "for Uncle Hal is a _real_ soldier!" And I
+believe the wheedling rogue actually pressed her velvety lips to the
+ugly sabre scar that helps to mar my time-worn visage.
+
+"Col. Lunettes is too gallant not to lay down his arms when ladies are
+his assailants!" said Mrs. B. with one of her conquering smiles. "Well,
+ladies," said I, "I cry you mercy--
+
+    "'Was ever colonel by such sirens wooed,
+    Was ever colonel by such sirens won!'"
+
+I have no intention to inflict upon you a long description of the
+festivities of the evening. Suffice it to say upon that point, that the
+"beauty and fashion," as the newspapers phrase it, not only of the
+Empire State, but of the Old Dominion, and others of the fair sisterhood
+of our Union, were brilliantly represented.
+
+When our little party entered the dancing-room, which we did at rather a
+late hour, for we had been listening to some good speaking in another
+apartment--the ladies declared that they preferred to do so, as they
+could dance at any time, but rarely had an opportunity of hearing
+distinguished men speak in public,--the "observed of all observers,"
+among the fairer part of the assembly, and the envy, of course, of all
+the male candidates for admiration, was young "General ----," one of the
+_aids-de-camp_ of the Governor of the State. In attendance upon his
+superior officer, who was present with the rest of his staff, our
+juvenile Mars was in full military dress, and made up, as the ladies
+say, in the most elaborate and accepted style of love-locks (I have no
+idea what their modern name may be), whiskers and moustaches. The glow
+that mantled the cheeks of the triumphant Boanerges could not have been
+deeper dyed had his "_modesty_," like that of Washington, when
+overpowered by the first public tribute rendered to him by Congress,
+"been equalled only by his bravery!"
+
+    "He above the rest in shape and gesture,
+    Proudly eminent."
+
+but apparently, wholly unconscious of the attention of which he was the
+subject, was smilingly engrossed by his devotion to the changes of the
+dance, and to his fair partner; and the last object that attracted my
+eye, as we retired from the field of his glory, were the well-padded
+military coat, the curling moustaches and sparkling eyes of
+"Adjutant-Gen. ----!"
+
+True to my old-fashioned notions of propriety, I went the next morning
+to pay my respects to Mrs. B., and to look after your cousins,--especially
+that witch Gerte, whom her father had requested me to "keep an eye upon,"
+when placing her under my care for the journey to the Fair.
+
+I found the whole fair bevy assembled in the drawing-room, and in high
+spirits.
+
+After the usual inquiries put and answered, Grace cried out, "Oh! Uncle
+Hal, I must tell you! Gen. ---- has been here this morning! He was
+wearing such a beautiful coat!--his dress last night was nothing to
+it!--it fairly took all our hearts by storm!"
+
+At these words, a merry twinkle, as bright and harmless as sheet
+lightning, darted round the circle.
+
+The master of the house entered at that moment, and before the
+conversation he had interrupted was fairly renewed, invited me into the
+adjoining dining-room to "take a mouthful of lunch."
+
+While my host and I sat at a side-table, sipping a little excellent old
+Cognac, with just a dash of ice water in it (a bad practice, a very bad
+practice, by the by, my boys, which I would strenuously counsel you not
+to fall into; but an inveterate habit acquired by an old soldier when no
+one thought of it being very wrong) the lively chit-chat in the
+drawing-room occasionally reached my ears.
+
+"It was tissue, I am quite sure!" said Miss ----.
+
+"No matter about the material--the color would have redeemed anything!"
+cried Grace.
+
+"Sea-green!" chimed in the flute notes of another of the gay junto,
+"what can equal the General's _verdancy_?"
+
+"What?" (here I recognized the animated voice of the lady of the
+mansion); "why, only his _mauvais ton_, in 'congratulating' me upon
+having 'so many' at my reception for Governor and Mrs. ----, the other
+evening, and his equally flattering assurance that he had not seen so
+'brilliant a military turn-out in a long time'--meaning, of course, his
+elegant self! You are mistaken, however, Laura, about his coat being of
+_tissue_, it was _lawn_, and had just come home from his _lawn-dress_,
+when he put it on. I distinctly saw the mark of the smoothing-iron on
+the cuff, as well as that his wristband was soiled considerably."
+
+"He had only had time to 'change' his coat since he went 'home with the
+girls in the morning,'" chimed in some one, "and his hair, I noticed as
+he rose to make what he called his '_farewell bow of exit_,' was filled
+with the dust of that dirty ball-room."
+
+"Which couldn't be brushed out without taking out the curl, too, I
+suppose!" This last sally emanated I believe, from one of the most
+amiable, usually, of the group.
+
+"Well," said the hostess, with a half-sigh of relief, "he seldom
+inflicts himself upon me! His grand _entree_ this morning, in the
+character of a katy-did, gotten up _a la mode naturelle_," (here there
+was a general clapping of hands, accompanied by _bravos_ that would have
+rejoiced the heart of a prima donna), "was, no doubt, occasioned by his
+having heard some one say that, what vulgar people style a '_party
+call_,' was incumbent upon him after my reception. What a pity his
+informant had not also enlightened him on another point of _ettiquetty_,
+as old Mr. Smith calls it, and so spared me the mortification, my dears,
+of presenting to you, as a specimen of the beaux of ----, and one of the
+aids-de-camp of Governor ----, a man making a visit of ceremony in a
+_bright, pea-green, thin muslin shooting-jacket_!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Bulwer, the novelist, when I was last in London, some two or three years
+ago--and for aught I know he still continues the practice--used to
+appear in his seat in the English House of Commons one day in
+light-colored hair, eye-brows and whiskers, with an entire suit to
+correspond; and the next, perhaps, in black hair, etc., accompanied by a
+black coat, neckcloth, and so on throughout the catalogue. A proof of
+the admitted _eccentricities of genius_, I suppose.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+D----, who is now a very respectable veteran lawyer, and well known in
+the courts of the Empire State, was originally a Green Mountain
+Boy--tall, a trifle ungainly, with a laugh that might have shaken his
+native hills, rather unmanageable hair, each individual member of the
+fraternity, instead of regarding the true democratic principle, often
+choosing to keep "Independence" on its own account, and a walk that
+required the whole breadth of an ordinary side-walk to bring out all its
+claims to admiration. Though D---- did not sacrifice to the graces, he
+really wrote very clever "Lines;" but his shrewd native sense taught him
+that a reputation as a magazine poet would not have a direct tendency to
+increase the number of his clients. So the sometime devotee of the Muse
+of Poetry, bravely eschewing the open use of a talent that, together
+with his ever-ready good-humor and quiet Yankee drollery, had brought
+him somewhat into favor in society, despite his natural disadvantages,
+entered into partnership with an old practitioner in A----, and bent
+himself to his career with sturdy energy of purpose.
+
+"New Year" coming round again in the good old Dutch city where D---- had
+pitched his tent, some of his friends offered to take him with them in
+their round of calls, and introduce him to such of their fair friends as
+it was desirable to know; hinting, at the same time, that this would
+afford a suitable occasion for donning a suit of new and fashionable
+garments.
+
+On the first of January, therefore, agreeable to appointment, his broad,
+pock-marked face--luminous as a colored lantern outside an
+oyster-saloon--and his gait more than usually _diffusive_, D---- was
+seen coming along from his lodgings, to meet his companions for the
+day's expedition, and evidently with sails full set. It soon became
+apparent to all beholders, not only that the grub had been transformed
+into a full-fledged butterfly of fashion, but--that he wore his long,
+wide, ample-caped, new cloak _wrong side out_!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+At the recent Peace Convention in Paris, even those strenuous adherents
+to _things as they were_, the Turks, wore the usual dress of Europeans
+and Americans throughout, with the single exception of the _fez_, which,
+I believe, no adherent of Mahomet will renounce, except with his
+religion. Young Charles P---- told me that Count Orloff's sable-lined
+_talma_ was of the most unexceptionable Parisian cut.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+An agreeable young friend of mine, the Rev. Mr. H., contrives to support
+a family (Heaven only knows how!) upon the few hundred dollars a year
+that make the usual salary of a country clergyman. He indulges himself,
+at rare intervals, in a visit to his fashionable city relatives, by way
+of necessary relaxation, and to brush up a little in matters of taste,
+literature, etc. Perhaps, too, he thinks it well, occasionally, to
+return, with his wife and children, the long visits made every summer by
+a pretty fair representation of his numerous family circle at the
+pleasant little rectory, where refinement, industry, and the ingenuity
+of a practical housekeeper, create a charm often lacking in more
+pretentious establishments.
+
+On one of these important occasions, it was decided that the handsome
+young rector should avail himself of his city jaunt to purchase a new
+suit of clothes, his best clerical coat, notwithstanding the most
+careful use and the neatest repairing, being no longer presentable for
+ceremonious purposes. (I make no doubt that the compatibility of the
+contemplated journey and the new clothes, both in the same year, was
+anxiously discussed in family council.)
+
+As soon as possible after his arrival in town, my clerical friend
+broached the all-important subject of the tailor, to one of his
+brothers, a youth of unquestionable authority in such matters, and
+invoked his assistance.
+
+"With all my heart, Will, we'll drop in at my own place, as we go down
+this morning; they get everything up there artistically." "And at
+artistic prices, I fear," soliloquized the new candidate for the honors
+of the cloth, with a slight quaking at heart, as a long-cherished plan
+for adding, without her previous knowledge, a shawl to the waning bridal
+outfit of his self-sacrificing wife, rose before his mental vision.
+
+"But, I say, Will," inquired his modish brother, of our young clergyman,
+in a tone of good-humored banter, as they sauntered down Broadway
+together, after breakfast, "where did you buy your new _chapeau_?"
+
+"At A----, before leaving home"----
+
+"Excuse me, my dear fellow, but it's a nondescript! It will never do
+with your new suit, allow me to say, frankly."
+
+"But the person of whom I bought it had just returned from New York, and
+he assured me it was the latest fashion! I gave him eight dollars for
+it, at any rate."
+
+"Preposterous!" ejaculated the man of fashion, in a tone portentous as
+that which ushered in the "prodigious" of Dominie Sampson, when
+astounded by _his_ discoveries in the mysteries of the toilet. "It first
+saw the light in the 'rural districts,' depend on't!"
+
+The quizzical glances with which his companion ever and anon scrutinized
+the crowning glory of his neat morning attire, as he had previously
+thought it, gradually overpowered the philosophy of my friend,--clergyman
+though he was--the admitted Adonis of his class in college, and the
+favorite of ladies, old and young. The church's
+
+      ----"favorites are _but men_.
+    And who e'er felt the stoic when
+    First conscious of"----
+
+wearing a "shocking bad hat!" The result was, that the condemned article
+was exchanged at a fashionable establishment for one fully meeting the
+approbation of the modish critic.
+
+"What! another new hat?" cried the young wife, whose quick woman's eye
+at once caught the _je ne sais quoi_--the air of the thing, as her
+husband rejoined her later in the day.
+
+The gentleman explained;--"And you thought the other so becoming too,
+Belle," he added, in a half-deprecatory tone; "but Chauncey was so
+strenuous about it, and I knew he would appeal to you, and that you
+would not be satisfied without"----
+
+"But they allowed you really nothing for the other, though it was quite
+new, and certainly a nice hat. What a pity, now, that you did not travel
+in your old one, though it was a little worse for wear, or even in the
+cap you bought to fish in. There was Mr. ---- in the same car with us,
+looking anything but _elegant_, I am sure, with the queerest-looking old
+'Kossuth,' I believe they are called, on, and the roughest overcoat!"
+
+"But, you know, Belle, dear, such a dress is not considered admissible
+for the clergy."
+
+"No! well, whatever is sensible and convenient _should_ be, I am
+convinced now, if I was not before."
+
+Our young clergyman, as he turned the still-cherished plan of the new
+shawl anxiously in his mind, a "sadder and a wiser" man than before,
+determined never again to buy a new dress hat expressly to perform a
+journey in, especially when going directly from the "rural districts" to
+a large city; besides laying up for future use some other collateral
+resolutions and reflections of an equally wise and practical character.
+
+"Why, Belle," said the "superb" Chauncey to his fair sister-in-law,
+drawing her little son nearer to him, as he leaned on his mother's lap
+after dinner, "this is really a magnificent boy, 'pon-my-word!--you
+should take him to 'Bradbrook's' and fit him up! Would you like a velvet
+jacket, eh, my fine fellow?"
+
+The curly-headed child pointed his dimpled forefinger towards the pretty
+garment he was wearing, and said, timidly, "Pretty new coata, mamma made
+for him."
+
+"I believe," responded the young mother, quietly, bending her beaming
+eyes upon the little face lovingly upturned to hers, "that Willie will
+have to do without a velvet jacket for the present; mamma intended to
+get one for him in New York, but"----the sentence was finished mentally
+with "papa's second new hat has taken the money." This will reveal the
+secretly-cherished plan of the young rector's wife, with which a faint
+sketch of a pretty cap to crown the shining curls of her darling, had
+dimly mingled, almost unconsciously to herself, until brought out by the
+power of that "tide in the affairs of men"--necessity!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Sitting in the same seat in a railroad car with ex-Chief-Justice ----,
+than whom there is no more eminent jurist nor finished gentleman in the
+land, discoursing earnestly of old times and new, our conversation was
+suddenly interrupted, as we stopped to feed our iron steed, by the loud
+salutation of a youth who seemed to take more pains than the _law_
+requires under such circumstances, to enunciate the name of my
+companion. "Pleasant morning, Judge!--if I don't intrude" (a glance at
+me, and no introduction by the chief-justice), "is this seat
+unoccupied?" And down he sat _vis-a-vis_ to us.
+
+He had the talk pretty much to himself, for a while. By-and-by, our
+uninvited guest apologized for his gloves, half-worn fine black kid.
+They were "really too bad; must have taken them up by mistake, in the
+hurry of getting off," etc.
+
+"I always keep an old pair expressly for these abominably dirty cars,
+but, I believe, I have forgotten to put them on this morning," said the
+venerable lawyer, in a peculiarly quiet tone, unfolding, as he spoke,
+the ample, old-fashioned, travel-worn camlet cloak, beneath which his
+arms had hitherto been crossed, and thus revealing his neat, simple
+dress, and the warm, clean lining of his outer garment. Taking a
+well-worn pair of soft beaver gloves from an inside pocket, the judge,
+with an air of peculiar deliberation, drew them upon hands, "small to a
+fault," as the novels say, and as white as those myths are supposed to
+be, and re-adjusted his arms and cloak with the same deliberation. A
+nice observer might note a slight gleam of the well-known smile, whose
+expressive sarcasm had so often withstood professional insolence and
+ignorance, as the chief justice turned his head, and cursorily surveyed
+his fellow-passengers.
+
+"Who is that young man, sir?" I inquired, when we were, soon after,
+upon again stopping, relieved of the presence of this jackanapes.
+
+"His name is ----," replied the judge. "A scion of the law, I think
+now--a son of the ----, who made a fortune, you may remember, by the
+sudden rise of West India molasses, some few years ago (a pause). I
+never rate a man by his antecedents, Colonel, but a little modesty is
+always suitable and becoming, in _very young persons_," added the
+chief-justice, somewhat sententiously.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+You will, perhaps, remember the commotion created by the promulgation of
+Marcy's edict respecting the dress to be worn on state occasions, by our
+representatives abroad.
+
+Our accomplished young countryman, Mr. H. S----, though nominally
+Secretary of Legation, was virtually our minister, at St. Cloud, when
+this order was published. In simple compliance with his instructions,
+the American secretary appeared at a court dinner in the suit of plain
+black, prescribed by his government. The premonitions of a revolution
+could scarcely have created more consternation among the officials of
+the Tuileries, and even the diplomatic dignitaries assembled,
+experienced a sensation. The Turkish ambassador was surprised out of the
+usually imperturbable stoicism of a devout follower of the mighty
+prophet of Moslemdom.
+
+"What are you doing here," he growled, as the young republican arrested
+his attention, in language more remarkable for Oriental figurativeness
+than for Parisian elegance, "a raven among so many birds of gay
+plumage?"
+
+The newspaper writers of the day, commenting upon this, said that the
+minister from Venezuela--the most insignificant government represented,
+was most bedizened with gold lace, stars, and trumpery of every sort.
+These letters, prepared for home perusal, were re-published in the Paris
+papers, and of course, met the eyes of all the parties alluded to!
+
+S---- told one of my friends that among the annoyances to which the
+whole affair subjected him, was that of being subsequently constantly
+thrown in contact with the various personages with whose names his own
+had been, without his previous knowledge, unceremoniously, associated.
+
+No doubt, however, his skillful diplomacy carried him as triumphantly
+through this difficulty as through others of vital importance.
+
+Dining with this polished young diplomate, at the Tremont in Boston,
+where we met soon after his return home, the conversation turned upon
+the personal appearance of Louis Napoleon, and from his wire-drawn
+moustaches diverged to the subject of beards in general.
+
+"The truth is, Col. Lunettes," said Mr. S----, in French,--which by the
+way, he both speaks and writes, _as he does his native tongue_, with
+great purity and propriety, and this to our shame be it said, is far
+enough from being generally the case with our various officials abroad,
+"the truth is, Col. Lunettes, (I detected a just perceptible glance at
+my furrowed cheek, which was, however, smooth-shaven as his own) that _a
+clean face is getting to be the distinctive mark of a gentleman_!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"My dear Miss ----," said I to a charming woman, whose cordial smile of
+recognition drew me within the magic circle of her influence, at a ball,
+where I had been for some little time a 'quiet looker-on,' "will you
+pardon the temerity of an old friend in inquiring what induced your
+chilling reception of the handsome stranger whom I saw presented to you
+with such _empressement_ by our host a little while ago? If you could
+have seen the admiration with which he long regarded you at a distance,
+'his eye in a fine frenzy rolling,'--as he leaned against the--the
+corner of the big fiddle, there, while the music was at supper!--could
+you have seen this, as others saw it, and then the look of deep
+desperation with which he swallowed a bottle of champagne at a standing,
+when he fled from your frowns to the supper-room!--Really, Miss ----, I
+have seldom had my sympathies so excited for a stranger"--
+
+By this time her ringing laugh stirred the blood into quicker pulsations
+through my time-steeled heart; "Oh, Colonel, Colonel!" cried she, in
+tones, mirth-engendering as the silvery call of Dian, goddess of the
+dewy morn, (is that poetry, I wonder?) "I see you are just as
+delightfully quizzical as during our Alpine journey together. I have
+never quite forgiven the Fates for robbing our party of so inimitable a
+_compagnon de voyage_, and me of"--"so devout an admirer!" I chimed in:
+"and me of so devout an admirer," proceeded the lady, with a quick
+spirit-flash in her deep violet eyes, "and when we were just becoming so
+well acquainted, too! It was too provoking! Do you remember the
+amusement we had from recalling the various characteristic exclamations
+of the different members of our party, when the Italian plains burst
+upon our view, out-spread before us in the morning sunlight, after that
+horrid night in the shepherd's hut?"
+
+"If I recollect, it was your avowed slave, 'gentleman John' as you
+called him, who shouted, 'O, ye Gods and little fishes!--nothing bad
+about that, by thunder?' That fellow carried the ladies, as he did
+everything else, by storm"--
+
+"No, no, Colonel, not _all_ the ladies; but I was going to tell you
+about this 'mysterious stranger,' or 'romantic stranger'--what
+_sobriquet_ did you give him? Suppose we go nearer the door, it is so
+warm here," and she twined an arm that threw Powers into a rapture,[2]
+confidingly around the support proffered her by an old soldier, and we
+gradually escaped from the crowd (any one of the men would willingly
+have stillettoed me, I dare say!) into a cool corner of the hall.
+
+  [2] Remind me to tell you about that some other time.
+
+"I am sorry you thought me rude, colonel," she began, a tint, soft as
+the shadow of a crimson rose flitting over her expressive face.
+
+I entered a protest.
+
+"I dare say my manner was peculiar," resumed my fair companion, "but I
+fear 'no rule of courtly grace to measured mood' will ever 'train' my
+_face_; and--the truth is, Colonel, that, though I love and honor my own
+countrymen beyond the men of all other lands, I _do_ wish they would
+imitate well-bred foreigners in some respects. I hate coxcombs! I
+believe every woman does at heart. Now, here is this person, Colonel
+C----, I think, if I heard the name?"
+
+"Wherefore _Colonel_, and of what?" thought I, but I only
+answered--"Really, I am not able to say."
+
+"Well, at any rate, I identified the man, beyond a peradventure, as the
+same individual who sufficed for my entertainment during a little
+journey from home to G----, the other day. As papa, in his stately way,
+you know, committed me to the care of the conductor, saying that 'Miss
+----'s friends would receive her at G----,' I observed (luckily, my
+fastidious father _did not_) the broad stare with which a great bearded
+creature, at a little distance from us, turned round in his seat and
+surveyed us. When I withdrew from the window, from which I had looked to
+receive--to say good-bye, again, to papa"--
+
+I would have given--I think I would have given--my Lundy-Lane sword, to
+have occasioned the momentary quiver in that musical voice, and the
+love-light in that half-averted eye! After a scarce perceptible pause,
+the lovely narrator proceeded:
+
+"There was that huge moon-struck face--["_sun-struck_, perhaps?" I
+queried, receiving a slight fan-pass for my pains]--such a contrast to
+papa's! staring straight at me, still. I busied myself with a book
+behind my veil, and presently knew, without looking, that the
+_gentleman_ had gradually returned to his former position. Now came my
+turn to scrutinize, though the 'game was scarcely worth the powder.'"
+
+"Spoken like the true daughter of a gentleman-sportsman!" I exclaimed,
+and this time was rewarded with an irradiating smile.
+
+"Well, such a rolling about of that alderman-like figure, such a
+buttoning and unbuttoning! But this was all nothing to his steam-engine
+industry in the use of the 'weed.' I turned sick as I observed part of
+the shawl of a lady sitting before the creature hanging over near him.
+After a while, he sallied forth, at one of the stopping-places, and soon
+returned with--(expressive hue!)--_an immense green apple_! It seemed
+for a time likely to prove the apple of discord, judging from the hungry
+glances cast at it by a long, lank, thinly-clad old man across the car.
+But now came the 'tug of war.' It scarce required my woman's wit to
+divine the motive that had prompted the tasteful selection of the
+alderman's lunch. A glove was pompously drawn off, and--behold! a great
+_pate_ of a ring on the smallest, I cannot truthfully say
+_little_-finger, set with a huge red cornelian, that looked for all the
+world like a cranberry-jam in a setting of puff-paste! As the big apple
+slowly diminished under the greedy eyes of the venerable spectator of
+this rich Tantalus-feast, my heart melted with pity."
+
+A well-affected look of surprise on the part of her auditor, here
+claimed the attention of the fair speaker.
+
+"Don't alarm yourself, Colonel! 'Pity 'tis, 'tis true,' my compassion
+was excited _only_ towards the poor finger that, stout as it looked,
+must soon be worn to the bone, if often compelled to do duty at the
+speed with which it was worked that day. Imagine the poor thing stuck
+straight out with that heavy stone _pate_ upon it, while the proprietor
+plied his hand from his mouth to the car-window _behind_ him, with the
+industrious regularity of a steam ferry-boat, professedly laden with
+little bits of apple-skin, but really intended--oh, most flattering
+tribute to my discriminating powers!--_to captivate my fancy, through my
+eye_!"
+
+When my amusement had somewhat subsided, I said to my fair friend:
+
+"I suppose the doughty alderman finished his repast, like Jack the
+Giant-killer, by eating up the famishing old man who had the insolence
+to watch him while breakfasting?"
+
+"I am happy to be able to say," replied she, "that the long, lean, lanky
+representative of our fallen race, not only escaped being thoroughly
+masticated and thrown by little handfuls out of the car-window, but when
+Jack the Giant-killer, and almost every one else had gone out of the
+car, was presented by a lady with two nice large sandwiches that she
+happened not to need."
+
+"And that benevolent lady was"----
+
+A movement among the dancers here crowded several acquaintances into
+such close contact with us that we could not avoid overhearing their
+conversation.
+
+"Do you know that large man, wearing so much beard, Mr. Jerome?"
+
+"Know him? certainly I do, Miss Blakeman. That's C----, Col. C----, the
+rich New York grocer. He is one of the city aldermen--they talk of him
+for the legislature--quite a character, I assure you."
+
+"He evidently thinks so himself," rejoined one of the group; "just
+notice him in that polka! I heard him telling a lady, a moment ago, that
+he had not missed a single set, and wouldn't for anything."
+
+"They say," pursued a lady, "that he is paying his addresses to that
+pretty little Miss S----, who was so much admired here, last winter; she
+is an orphan, I think, and quite an heiress."
+
+A perceptible shiver ran through the clinging arm that still graced my
+own, and as I moved away with my sweet charge, she murmured, in the
+musical tongue of the Beautiful Land, as she ever calls Italy, "the
+gentle dove for the vulture's mate!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Will that do for this time, boys? Or do you require that, in imitation
+of the little Grecian Hunch-back, a _moral_ shall be appended to each of
+his narratives, by your
+
+  UNCLE HAL.
+
+P. S.--In accordance with my promise, there follow the admirable
+directions and remarks of the elegant and obliging friend referred to
+in my previous letter. He will, I trust, permit me thus to tender him,
+renewedly, my very grateful acknowledgment of his flattering politeness,
+and to express my sense of the important addition made by his kindness
+to my unpretending epistles.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"MY DEAR COL. LUNETTES:
+
+"I regard myself as highly complimented that so distinguished a
+representative of the _ancien regime_, as yourself, one so entirely
+_comme il faut_, as all admit, in matters of taste, should esteem my
+opinion, even in regard to minor points of etiquette, as worth his
+attention.
+
+"I need scarcely add, dear sir, an assurance of my conviction of the
+honor you do me by affording me a place in your remembrance, and that I
+make no doubt your profound knowledge of the world, united with your
+unusual opportunities for extensive observation--long _un habitue de
+belle societe_, in various countries, as you have been--will afford a
+rich treat, as well as much instruction, to those who may be favored
+with the perusal of your proposed _Letters_. That he may have the honor
+to be thus fortunate, is the hope of, dear sir,
+
+  "Your very respectful
+  "And obedient servant,
+  "---- ----
+
+  "BELGRAVIA, _Tuesday Morn.,
+  "May 6th, '56_."
+
+GENTLEMEN'S DRESS.--The subject now to be treated of, may be divided
+into several classes:--_morning, promenade_ or _visiting_, and _evening_
+or _ball_ dress; which again may be subdivided into others, such as
+_riding-dress_, dress suitable for _bachelors' dinner-parties_, or
+_opera_ (when unaccompanied by ladies). Besides these again, we have
+dresses suitable for _fishing_, _shooting_, and _yachting_ purposes,
+which, however, scarcely call for, or admit of, the display of much
+taste, inasmuch as the occupations for which such costumes are designed
+partake rather of the nature of healthy exercise than of that quiet and
+gentlemanly repose necessary to give full effect to the graces of the
+more elaborate "_toilette_." Military, Naval, and Court dresses may also
+be considered out of the scope of the remarks in this letter, because
+their being made scrupulously in accordance with rigid _Regulation
+Rules_, leaves no room for taste, but substitutes the _dicta_ of
+official routine.
+
+To commence our exemplifications with a _Wedding-Suit_, which, from the
+wearer's approximate connection with the ladies deserves the "_pas_"--it
+may be remarked that the time of day in which the ceremony is solemnized
+should determine the character of the costume, that is to say, whether
+it should be morning or evening. In either case, however, general usage
+allows (not to say demands), a more marked style than is generally worn
+in morning or evening usual wear. Should the wedding take place in the
+_evening_, a very elegant costume is, a dark claret dress-coat, white
+ribbed-silk, or _moire antique_, waistcoat, white silk neckcloth, black
+trowsers, silk stockings, and shoes. The lining of the sleeves, also, of
+white silk, coming to the extreme edge of the cuff, imparts a singularly
+light and elegant appearance to the hand and glove. An equally elegant
+_Morning Wedding-Dress_ might consist of a rich, deep-brown frock-coat;
+waistcoat of black cashmere, with a small violet-colored palm-leaf
+figure; neck-tie of silk, combining colors of black and cherry, or brown
+and deep blue; trowsers of delicate drab, or stone-color; gloves
+primrose, or slate-colored kid.
+
+The usual _Evening-Dress_ is so imperiously insisted on, that it might
+be almost classed in the category of _uniforms_, being almost invariably
+composed of _black_ coat, vest, and trowsers. Two items, however, in
+this costume, admit of disquisition amongst "men who dress," viz., the
+_vest_ and the _tie_--both of which may be either white or black,
+without any infraction of the laws of _bienseance_. This, therefore,
+must be settled by the taste of the wearer, who should remember that
+black, having the effect of apparently diminishing a man's size, and
+white that of increasing it, it would, therefore, be judicious for a
+person of unusual size to tone down his extra bulk by favoring black in
+both these garments, while he who is below the average standard could,
+if not actually increase his height or size, at least create the
+impression of more generous proportions. I, however, must confess a
+decided partiality for a _white neck-tie_, at least; because, although
+subject to the disadvantage of being _de rigueur_ amongst waiters and
+other members of the Yellow Plush Family, it is, nevertheless, always
+considered unexceptionable, at any season, or hour, in any rank,
+profession, or capacity.
+
+A _Morning Call_ should be made in a _frock-coat_, or at least one in
+which this style predominates. It must, however, be constantly borne in
+mind that it is quite impossible to furnish even general rules on any
+one of these points that shall prove immutable, since not only each
+successive year, but every varying season produces decided changes in
+the standard established by Taste and Fashion.
+
+_Bachelors' Dinner-parties_ are pleasant, social _reunions_, at which
+gentlemen enjoy themselves with more _abandon_ than would, perhaps, be
+considered consistent with the quiet and more retired respect due to the
+presence of the "_beau sexe_;" and, as a natural consequence, admit of a
+more _neglige_ style of costume. Still, however, a certain regard must
+be had to the requirements of good society; and as many of these
+parties, when they break up, adjourn to the opera, or theatre, where
+they are pretty sure to meet ladies of their acquaintance, a costume
+half-way between morning and evening is, by tacit agreement, prescribed;
+for instance:--a coat of some dark color (generally termed
+"_medley-colored_"), cut rounded over the hips; black cap; inner vest,
+buttoning rather high in the breast; dark-grey trowsers, and black silk
+neckerchief, or ribbed silk scarf.
+
+Instead of giving sketches of particular costumes, it would, perhaps, be
+better and tend more to develop the importance of dress, if a few
+remarks were made on the general rules which should guide one in
+selections for his own wear.
+
+The _four staple colors for men's wear, are black, blue, brown, and
+olive_. Other colors, such as drab, grey, mixed, etc., being so far as
+the principal garments go, what are termed "fancy colors," should be
+very cautiously used.
+
+As was remarked above, _black has the effect of diminishing size_, but
+it has another more important effect, which is to test, in the severest
+way, the wearer's claims to a _distinguished appearance_. It is a very
+high compliment to any man to tell him that black becomes him, and it is
+probably owing to this property that black is chosen, _par excellence_,
+for _evening_ or _ball dress_. Men, therefore, of average or ordinary
+pretensions to stylish contour, should bear this in mind, and, when such
+color is not indispensable, should be careful how far they depend on
+their own intrinsic dignity.
+
+_Blue_, of almost any shade, becomes a light complexion, besides being
+an admirable set-off to black velvet, which can, in almost all cases, be
+judiciously used in the collar, in which case, a _lighter shade of
+blue_ (also becoming such a complexion) can be worn without _killing_
+(as it is technically termed), the darker shade of the coat--the velvet
+harmonizing both.
+
+_Brown_ being what is termed a _warm_ color, is eminently adapted for
+fall and winter wear--_olive_ and _dark green_, for summer.
+
+When Beau Brummel was asked what constituted a well-dressed man, he
+replied, "_Good linen--plenty of it, and country washing_." This,
+perhaps, is rather _too_ primitive. The almost equally short opinion of
+the French critic is decidedly more comprehensive--"_un homme bien
+coiffe, et bien chausse, peut se presenter partout_." Under any
+circumstances, however, it may be laid down as immutable, that the
+_extremities_ are most important parts, when considered as objects for
+dress, and that _a well appointed hat, faultlessly-fitting gloves, and
+immaculate boots_, are three essentials to a well-dressed man, without
+which the otherwise best constituted dress will appear unfinished.
+
+Besides the necessity for the greatest care required in the selection of
+colors, with regard to their harmonizing with each other, and their
+general adaptation to the complexion or contour of the wearer, there is
+another matter of the first importance, and this is, the _cut_. Of
+course, everything should be sacrificed to _perfect ease_, as any
+garment which pinches, or incommodes the wearer, will strongly militate
+against the easy deportment of even the most graceful, and tend to give
+a contracted and constrained appearance. _Every garment, therefore,
+should leave the wearer perfectly free and uncontrolled in every
+motion_; and, having set out with this proviso, the _artiste_ may
+proceed to invest his work with all the minute and seemingly immaterial
+graces and touches, which, although scarcely to be remarked, still
+impart _an air_ or _character_, which is unmistakable, and is expressed
+in the French word _chique_.
+
+_Wadding_, or _stuffing_, should be avoided as much as possible. A
+little may be judiciously used to round off the more salient points of
+an angular figure, but when it is used for the purpose of creating an
+egregiously false impression of superior form, it is simply _snobbish_.
+Some one has called hypocrisy "the homage which vice pays to virtue."
+_Wadding is the homage which snobbishness pays to symmetry!_
+
+A well-dressed man will never be the first to set a new fashion; he will
+allow others to hazard the innovation, and decline the questionable
+honor of being the first to advertise a _novelty_. Two lines of Pope (I
+believe), admirably illustrate the middle course:--
+
+    _"Be not the first by whom the new is tried,
+    Nor yet the last by whom 'tis set aside."_
+
+Besides which he will find it far easier to become a _critic_ than an
+_author_; and as there is sure to be a vast number of men who "greatly
+daring" dress, he will merely be at the trouble of discriminating which
+is worthy of selection or rejection; he will thus verify the old saw,
+that "fools make feasts and wise men eat thereof," and avoid, by means
+of his own knowledge of _the becoming_, the solecisms which are pretty
+certain to occur in a number of experiments.
+
+  TRINCULO.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER III.
+
+MANNER.
+
+
+MY DEAR NEPHEWS:
+
+In the order of sequence adopted at the commencement of our
+correspondence, the subject of _manner_ comes next in succession.
+
+It was the shrewd aphorism of one of the most profound observers of
+human nature that "_Manner is something to all, and everything to
+some_."
+
+As indicative of character, which it undoubtedly is, to a certain
+extent, it is well worthy the attention of all youthful aspirants to the
+honors of the world. And though, like every other attribute, it should
+bear indubitable murks of individuality, care and attention, before
+habit has rendered change and improvement difficult, will enable every
+man to acquire that propriety and polish, in this respect, the
+advantages of which through life can scarcely be overrated.
+
+It has been somewhat paradoxically said, that the fashionable manner of
+the present day is _no manner at all_! which means simply--that the
+manners of the best bred people are those that are least obtruded upon
+the notice of others,--those most _quiet, natural, and unassuming_.
+
+There is, however, a possibility of carrying this modish manner to such
+an extreme as to make it the very height of affectation. If Talleyrand's
+favorite axiom admits of some qualification, and _language_ is not
+_always_ used to "conceal our ideas," then should _manner_, which is the
+natural adjunct that lends additional expressiveness to words, be in a
+degree modified by circumstances--be _individualized_.
+
+Every approach to a rude, noisy, boisterous, manner, is reprehensible,
+for the obvious reason that it interferes with the comfort, and,
+consequently, with the rights of others; but this is at a wide remove
+from the ultra-modishness that requires the total suppression of every
+manifestation of natural emotion, and apparently, aims to convert beings
+influenced by the motives, feelings, and principles that constitute
+humanity, into mere moving automata!
+
+In this, as in too many similar matters, Americans are prone to excess.
+Because _scenes_ are considered bad _ton_, in good society abroad, and
+because the warm-hearted hospitality of olden time sometimes took shape
+a little more impressingly and noisily than kindness required, some of
+our fashionable imitators of European models move through the world like
+resuscitated ghosts, and violate every law of good feeling in an
+endeavor to sustain at home a character for modish _nonchalance_! Now,
+take it as a rule through life, my young friends, that _all servile
+imitation degenerates into caricature_, and let your adoption and
+illustration of every part of your system of life be modified by
+circumstances, and regulated by good sense and manly independence.
+
+I need scarcely tell you that true politeness is not so much a thing of
+forms and ceremonies, as of right feelings and nicety of perception. The
+Golden Rule habitually illustrated in word and action, would produce the
+most unexceptionable good breeding--politeness so cosmopolitan that it
+would be a passport to "good society" everywhere.
+
+One of the most polished and celebrated of American authors has given us
+as fine and laconic a definition of politeness as I remember to have met
+with--"Self-respect, and a delicate regard for the rights and feelings
+of others."
+
+The good breeding of a true gentleman is not an appendage put off and on
+at the dictate of caprice, or interest, it is essentially _a part of
+himself_--a constituent of his being, as much as his sense of honesty or
+honor, and its requirements are no more forgotten or violated than those
+of any other essential attribute of manhood. You will all remember Sir
+Philip Sidney's immortal action in presenting the cup of water to the
+dying soldier. This was a spontaneous result of the habitual
+self-possession and self-restraint that form the basis of all true good
+breeding. It is one of the most perfect exhibitions on record of the
+_moral sublime_; but it was, also, only a legitimate result of the
+_instinctive politeness of a Christian gentleman_!
+
+Manner, then, may be regarded as the expression of inherent qualities,
+and though it must, necessarily, and should properly, to some extent,
+at least, vary with the variations of character, it may readily be
+rendered a more correct and effective exponent of existing
+characteristics of mind and heart, by judicious and attentive training.
+
+While true good breeding must, from its very nature be, as I have said,
+in all persons and under every modification of circumstance
+substantially the same, the proper mode of exemplifying it, must, with
+equal propriety, be modified by the exercise of practical good sense and
+discrimination. Thus, the laws of convention,--which, as I have before
+remarked, is but another name for the rules of politeness, established
+and adhered to by well-bred people, for mutual convenience--though in
+some respects as immutable as those of the Medes and Persians, will
+always be adapted, by persons of good sense, to the mutations of
+circumstance and the inviolable requisitions of that "higher law," whose
+vital principle is "_kindness kindly expressed_!" Having now established
+general principles, let us turn to the consideration of practical
+details.
+
+There is, perhaps, no better test of good manners afforded by the
+intercourse of ordinary life, than that of conduct towards superiors in
+age or station, ("Young America" seems loth to admit that he has any
+superiors, but we will venture to assume these premises). The
+general-in-chief of the Revolutionary Army of America is well known to
+have always observed the most punctilious respect towards his _mother_,
+in his personal intercourse with her, as well as in every other
+relation of life. My word for it, he never spoke of her as the "old
+woman;" nor could one of the youthful members of his military family
+have alluded, in his hearing, to a parent as the "governor," or the "old
+governor," without exciting the disapproving surprise of Washington and
+his co-patriots. And yet our young republic has known no more high-bred
+and polished men than those of that day,--the stately and elegant
+Hancock, even when broken by time and disease, a graceful and
+punctilious observer of all the ceremonious courtesies of life; the
+courtly Carroll, whose benignant urbanity was the very impersonation of
+a long line of old English gentlemen; and the imposing stateliness of
+the commander-in-chief, ever observant of the most minute details of
+propriety, whether in the familiar intercourse of daily life, or while
+conducting the most momentous affairs of his country. But to return from
+this unpremeditated digression. Never let youthful levity, or the
+example of others, betray you into forgetfulness of the claims of your
+parents or elders, to a certain deference. Depend upon it, the
+preservation of a just self-respect demands this.
+
+Your historical studies will have furnished you with evidence of the
+respect habitually rendered to superiors by those nations of antiquity
+most celebrated for advancement in civilization; and you will not have
+failed, also, to remark that nothing more surely heralded the decay of
+ancient empires than degeneracy in this regard.
+
+Next to the reverence ever due to parents, may be ranked that which
+should be rendered to virtuous age, irrespective of station or other
+outward attributes. I should deem this instinctive with all right-minded
+young persons, did I not so often, in the street, at church, in social
+life, in public places generally, observe the manner in which elderly
+persons are, apparently, wholly overlooked.
+
+Here, the universally-applicable _law of kindness_ claims regard. Those
+of the pilgrims of earth, whose feet are descending the narrowing vale
+that leads to the dim obscure unpenetrated by mortal eyes, are easily
+pained by even the semblance of indifference or neglect. They are
+sensitively alive to every intimation that their places in the busy
+arena of active life are already better filled by others; that they are
+rather tolerated than essential. Those who are most worthy of regard are
+least likely to be insensible to such influences. Remember, then, that
+you should never run the race of life so "fast" as to encroach upon the
+established claims of your predecessors in the course. Nor would the
+most prematurely sage young man be entirely unbenefited, it may be, by
+availing himself occasionally of the accumulated experience, erudition,
+and knowledge of the world, possessed by many a quiet "old fogy," whose
+unassuming manners, modest self-respect, and pure integrity present a
+just model to "Young America," albeit, perchance, too old-fashioned to
+be deemed worthy of attention!
+
+While the general proposition--that manner is, to a considerable extent
+_character in action_, is undoubtedly correct, we occasionally see the
+exact converse painfully exemplified. It sometimes occurs that the most
+amiable persons labor through life under the disadvantage of a diffident
+or awkward manner, which does great injustice to their intrinsic
+excellences. And this is but another evidence of the necessity of the
+earliest attention to this subject.
+
+Though no one should be discouraged in an endeavor to remedy the defects
+arising from neglect, in this respect (and, indeed, it may properly be
+considered as affording room for ceaseless advancement, like every other
+portion of the earthly education of immortal beings), few persons,
+perhaps, ever completely overcome the difficulties arising from
+inattention to this important branch of education, while youthful
+pliancy renders the formation of habits comparatively easy.
+
+The early acquisition of habits of self-possession and self-control,
+will furnish the surest basis for the formation of correct manners. With
+this should be united, as far as is practicable, constant association
+with well-educated and well-bred persons, there is no friction like this
+to produce external polish, nor can the most elaborate rules furnish an
+effectual substitute for the ease that practice alone secures.
+
+Lose no opportunity, therefore, for studiously observing the best
+_living models_, not for the purpose of attempting an undiscriminating
+imitation of even the most perfect, but, as an original and gifted
+artist derives advantage from studying works of genius, by the great
+masters of art, to avail yourself of the matured knowledge resulting
+from experience.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+But now for an exemplary anecdote or two:--
+
+"Colonel Lunettes, do you know some gentleman going to U---- in this
+train?" inquired my friend ex-Governor T----, extending his hand to me
+in the car-house of one of our western cities. "I wish to place a very
+pretty young lady under the care of some suitable person for a short
+time, until she joins a party of friends."
+
+"Really, my dear sir, I regret that I have just arrived," returned I;
+"you tempt me to turn about and go over the ground again."
+
+"Uncle T----, there is H---- B---- just getting out of that car," cried
+a young lady, approaching us, with two or three fair companions,
+"perhaps he is going on."
+
+At this moment a young man, in a dress that might have been that of the
+roughest back-woodsman, approached the group.
+
+He wore a very broad-brimmed, coarse straw hat, capable of serving the
+double purpose of umbrella and _chapeau_, his hands were incased in
+strong gauntlet-gloves, and he carried a large engineer's field-book
+under one arm.
+
+Removing his hat, as he somewhat hesitatingly advanced, and passing his
+hand over a beard of several days' growth, glancing downward, at the
+same time, upon heavy-soled boots, thickly encrusted with dry mud--
+
+"Ladies," said he, "I am too dirty to come near you; I have been
+surveying in the swamps in this neighborhood for several days past,
+camping out, and jumped upon the cars a few miles back, bound for my
+stationary quarters and--the _blessings of civilization_!" And, with the
+color deepening in his sun-burnt face, he bowed to us all, with a grace
+that Count d'Orsay could scarcely have exceeded.
+
+The youth was very cordially welcomed by his friends; little Kitty, who
+is privileged to say anything, declared she "never saw him look so
+handsome;" and, I confess, that even my flinty old heart was favorably
+moved towards the young engineer. I admired the good taste that dictated
+an explanation of the soiled condition of his clothes (his thick linen
+shirt, however, was _clean_); not an absurd apology for not being
+_well-dressed_, and I liked his use of the good, significant Saxon word
+that most truthfully described his condition.
+
+After an exchange of civilities, turning respectfully to the governor,
+he said: "Governor T----, can I be of any service? You seemed to be
+looking for some one."
+
+An explanation of the circumstances resulted in the resignation of his
+fair charge to the temporary care of this same toil-worn, "dirty" young
+engineer, by my friend, who is himself one of the most fastidious and
+world-polished of men!
+
+A few days after this trifling adventure, I went, by invitation, to
+pass a day with my friend the ex-governor, at his beautiful residence a
+little out of the city.
+
+Standing near one of the drawing-room windows, just before dinner, I
+observed a gentleman alighting from a carriage, at the entrance of the
+mansion. I was struck with his elegant air, as he kissed his hand to
+some one who was, like myself, an observer on the occasion.
+
+"There is H---- B----!" exclaimed the joyous voice of pretty Kitty, the
+niece of my host, and a little scrutiny, while he was paying his
+compliments to the several members of the family, enabled me to
+recognize in this graceful stranger the rough-looking youth I had
+previously seen at the depot. But what a metamorphosis! He now wore an
+entirely modish dinner-dress, exquisitely tasteful in all its
+appointments; his coat of the most faultless fit, and boots that
+displayed a very small and handsome foot to admirable advantage. I
+afterwards noticed, too, that "camping out" in the "swamps" had not,
+apparently, impaired the smoothness of the slender fingers and
+carefully-cut nails that came under my observation while listening, in
+the course of the evening, to the rich voice and guitar accompaniment of
+Mr. B----.
+
+"Did Mr. B---- come out in a carriage?" inquired one of the ladies of
+the family, in a low tone, of my host, near whom I was standing, when
+arrangements were to be made for the return of the guests to town.
+
+"Certainly he did," answered the governor, "Mr. B---- is too much of a
+sybarite to heat himself by walking out here to dinner, on such a day as
+this."
+
+"And too economical, I have no doubt, judging from his good sense in
+other respects," I added, "to spoil a pair of costly dress boots in such
+service."
+
+"Mrs. M----, one moment, if you please," said a voice behind us, and
+Mrs. M---- (who is the acting mistress of the mansion) took the arm
+politely proffered her, and stepped out upon the portico. Presently she
+returned--
+
+"Uncle T----," whispered she ("excuse me, Col. Lunettes), John need not
+get up our carriage; Mr. B---- has been so polite as to insist upon our
+sending the girls home in his, saying that he really prefers to sit
+outside, and that the carriage in which he drove out is to be here in a
+few minutes."
+
+"He happened to know that John has to be up with the lark, about another
+matter," remarked the host, "and"----
+
+"How kind!" returned the lady; "but Mr. B---- does everything so
+agreeably that one does not know which to admire most--the charm of his
+_manner_, or"----
+
+"The _good breeding_, from which it springs!" exclaimed the governor,
+finishing the eulogy.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Attending a lady from the dinner-table at the St. Nicholas, in New York,
+she begged me to wait with her for a few minutes, near the passage
+conducting to the drawing-rooms, saying, playfully, that she wished to
+way-lay a gentleman. "I have been all the morning," she then explained,
+"trying to meet a Russian friend of ours, who is certainly staying
+here, though we cannot succeed in seeing him. My husband charged me,
+before we parted this morning, as he was obliged to go out of town for
+the day, with a message for our friend, which he said _must_ be
+delivered by me in person. Ah, there he is now!" and she advanced a step
+towards an elderly gentleman accompanying a lady.
+
+I released her arm from mine, of course, and retired a little; the other
+lady also simultaneously withdrawing. I bowed respectfully to her.
+
+"Have you ever chanced to remark this picture?" inquired the fair
+stranger of me, as we stood thus near each other, turning towards the
+painting of the patron saint of the Knickerbockers, which graced the
+main staircase of the hotel; "it is very appropriately selected."
+
+Nothing could be more unmistakably refined and high-bred than the
+bearing of the interlocutor, while we chatted a moment or two longer.
+
+"I beg your pardon, madam, for depriving you of your cavalier; nothing
+but necessity could excuse it"--began the lady, who had been talking
+earnestly in the meanwhile with the Russian, approaching us. She was at
+once relieved from making further explanation.
+
+"Pray don't name it--and allow me to renew my slight acquaintance with
+you," offering her hand.
+
+"With pleasure," returned my fair friend, instantly; but she looked a
+little puzzled, despite her courtesy.
+
+"I see you do not recollect the weary traveller who was so much obliged
+to your politeness in the hotel in Washington, the other night. The only
+stranger-lady (turning to her attendant) I have met in this country, who
+has rendered me the slightest civility."
+
+All this was, of course, quite unintelligible to me, but later in the
+evening I had the honor of being introduced to these strangers, and,
+incidentally, received a solution of the mystery.
+
+While a pleasant party with which I had the good fortune to be
+associated, was cozily gathered in one of the quiet little drawing-rooms
+of the St. Nicholas, the conversation turned upon the difference of
+manners in different nations. Let me premise a brief explanation, that
+you may the better understand what follows. The Russian gentleman, whom
+I had seen in the passage, is Dr. de H----, a distinguished _savant_,
+travelling in the service of his imperial master, and the lady whom he
+was attending from dinner a Frenchwoman of high birth and breeding. My
+fair charge is the wife of an officer of our army, who nearly lost his
+life in the late Mexican war, returning home covered alike with wounds
+and honors, and with still I don't know how many bullets in his body, as
+life-long tokens of his bravery. His heroic young wife, when she learned
+that he had landed at New Orleans, as soon after the conclusion of peace
+as his condition enabled him to be conveyed to the sea-board and make
+the voyage, set out to join him at the South, with an infant of only a
+few weeks old, and herself in enfeebled health.--They had been married
+but a short time, when Col. V---- was ordered to the seat of war, and
+the lady was a belle and a beauty, of scarce nineteen--the cherished
+idol of wealth and affection. These persons, and one or two others were,
+with myself, seated, as I have said, cozily together for a little talk,
+after dinner.
+
+Taking advantage of the temporary absence of Mrs. V----, the
+Frenchwoman, turning to Dr. de H----, said: "What a charming person! I
+must tell you about my first meeting with her. You know we are just
+returned from a little tour at the south of this country. Well, at
+Washington, the other evening we have arrived, my husband and I, with my
+little daughter, Lorrette, very tired and covered with dust, at the
+hotel. A friend had engaged apartments for us, two or three days before,
+but we were not conducted to them. They led us into a sort of corridor,
+where gentlemen and ladies were walking, in dinner dress, and left us to
+stand against the wall for some time. At last Victor told me to be
+patient, and he would go and see. I have thought I should fall down with
+fatigue and vexation, and poor little Lorrette leaned against me and was
+almost quite asleep. At this moment, a lady and gentleman who were
+sitting in a little alcove, which was in the corridor, observed us, as I
+saw, though I tried to turn myself from all. They came immediately to
+us. The gentleman brought a light chair in his hand. 'Madam,' said the
+gentleman, 'allow me to offer you a seat; I am surprised that Mr.
+Willard has no reception room for travellers.' Before I could thank
+them, properly, the lady said, seeing how Lorrette had begun to cry, 'Do
+come and sit over there in the little recess; there is a larger chair in
+which the little girl can lie down until you can get your rooms. Pray
+come'--and all this with such a sweet manner. Seeing that the gentleman
+was already looking for another chair to bring to us, I went away with
+the lady; saying, however, that I was so sad to come with her in this
+dress, and to trouble her. When we were in the little alcove, almost by
+ourselves, she placed Lorrette on a little couch, and forced me to sit
+on the only good chair, saying that she preferred to stand a little, and
+so many other polite, kind words! Then, while the gentleman talked a
+little with me, she began to tell Lorrette that her papa would soon take
+her to a nice supper, and made her look, when she was no longer so
+tired, at some nice drawings of colored birds that her friend was
+showing her when they came to carry us to them."
+
+You must picture to yourselves the animated gestures, the expressive
+tones, and the slight Gallic accent that gave double significance to
+this little sketch, to form a correct idea of the pleasing effect
+produced upon us all by the narration. Observing Mrs. V---- re-entering
+the room, the charming Frenchwoman only added, enthusiastically: "Really
+these were persons so agreeable, that I could not forget them; as I have
+told you to-day, Dr. de H----, it is the only stranger American lady who
+has ever been polite in our journey."
+
+"Are the ladies of our country, then, so remiss in politeness?" said a
+young American lady present, in a deprecatory tone.
+
+"I beg your pardon, madam," returned the foreigner, "the Americans are
+the most kind-hearted people in the world, but _they do not say it_! it
+is the--_manner_!"
+
+"I shall really begin to think," said Mrs. V----, "that there is some
+other cause than my being a brunette for my being so often taken for a
+foreigner. I am often asked whether I am from New Orleans, or of French
+extraction."
+
+"I am not surprised," exclaimed Dr. de H----, "my friend Sir C----
+G----, who saw you this morning, asked me afterwards what country was
+you of?"
+
+"Why, how was that?"
+
+"He told me he had just given a servant, that stupid old man in the
+hall, the house-porter, I believe you call him, a card, to take to some
+room, when you met him, and directed him to go to the office with a
+message; but, observing the card in his hand, and that a gentleman stood
+there, you immediately told him to go first with the card and you would
+wait for him."
+
+Here the silvery laugh of Mrs. V---- interrupted the Russian. "Excuse
+me," said she, "I remember it!--that old porter, who always makes a
+mistake, if it is possible, has so often annoyed me, that this time I
+was determined, as it was a person I much wished to see, not to lose my
+visitor through him, so, after waiting some time in one of these rooms,
+I went to him to inquire, and sent him to the office, when I found that
+my poor friend was waiting _there_, while I waited _here_. Observing a
+gentleman who seemed already to have required his services, I bade him
+go first for him, of course. '_Apres vous, madame, je vous prie_,'[3]
+said he, with the most courtly air;--so that was Sir C---- G----?"
+
+  [3] After you are served, madam, I beg.
+
+"Yes, madam," answered the _savant_, "but it was _your_ air that was
+remarkable! Sir C---- told me that while you both were waiting there you
+addressed some polite remark to him, _pour passer le temps_, and that he
+thought you were not an American lady, _because you spoke to him_!"
+
+"Speaking of _not speaking_," said I, when the general amusement had
+abated, "reminds me of an amusing little scene that I once witnessed in
+the public parlor of a New England tavern, where I was compelled to wait
+several hours for a stage-coach. Presently there entered a bustling,
+sprightly-looking little personage, who, after frisking about the room,
+apparently upon a tour of inspection, finally settled herself very
+comfortably in the large cushioned rocking-chair--the only one in the
+room--and was soon, as I had no reason to doubt, sound asleep. It was
+not long, however, before a noise of some one entering aroused her, and
+a tall, gaunt old Yankee woman, hung round with countless bags,
+bonnet-boxes, and nondescript appendages of various sizes and kinds,
+presented herself to our vision. After slowly relieving herself of the
+numberless incumbrances that impeded her progress in life, she turned to
+a young man who accompanied her, and said, in a tone so peculiarly
+shrill, that it might have been mistaken, at this day, for a railroad
+whistle:
+
+"'Now, Jonathan, don't let no grass grow under your feet while you go
+for them tooth-ache drops; I am a'mos' crazy with pain!' laying a hand
+upon the affected spot as she spoke; 'and here,' she called out, as the
+door was closing upon her messenger, 'just get my box filled at the same
+time!' diving, with her disengaged hand, into the unknown depths of,
+seemingly, the most capacious of pockets, and bringing to light a
+shining black box, of sufficient size to hold all the jewels of a modern
+belle, 'I thought I brought along my snuff-bladder, but I don't know
+where I put it, my head is so stirred up.'
+
+"By this time the little woman in the rocking-chair was fairly aroused,
+and rising, she courteously offered her seat to the stranger, her accent
+at once betraying her claim to be ranked with the politest of nations (a
+bow, on my part, to the fair foreigner in the group). With a prolonged
+stare, the old woman coolly ensconced herself in the vacated seat,
+making not the slightest acknowledgment of the civility she had
+received. Presently, she began to groan, rocking herself furiously at
+the same time. The former occupant of the stuffed chair, who had retired
+to a window, and perched herself in one of a long row of high wooden
+seats, hurried to the sufferer. 'I fear, madame,' said she, 'that you
+suffare ver' much:--vat can I do for you?' The representative of
+Yankeedom might have been a wooden clock-case for all the response she
+made to this amiable inquiry, unless her rocking more furiously than
+ever might be construed into a reply.
+
+"The little Frenchwoman, apparently wholly unable to class so anomalous
+a specimen of humanity, cautiously retreated.
+
+"Before I was summoned away, the tooth-ache drops and the snuff together
+(both administered in large doses!) seemed to have gradually produced
+the effect of oil poured upon troubled waters.
+
+"The sprightly Frenchwoman again ventured upon the theatre of action.
+
+"'You find yourself now much improved, madame?' she asked, with
+considerable vivacity. A very slight nod was the only answer.
+
+"'And you feel dis _fauteuil_, really ver' _com-for-ta-ble_?' pursued
+the little woman, with augmented energy of voice. Another nod was just
+discernable.
+
+"No intonation of mine can do justice to the very ecstasy of impatience
+with which the pertinacious questioner now actually _screamed_ out:
+
+"'_Bien_, madame, _vil you say so_, if you please!'"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I meant to repeat an impressive little story told us by my lovely
+friend, Mrs. V----, before our merry little party separated that night;
+but, even were this letter not already too "long drawn out," I find my
+head in very much the condition of that of the old Yankee woman, whom, I
+trust, I have immortalized, and will, therefore, reserve it for another
+time, hoping that you will pay me the compliment to recollect my
+description of my _dramatis personae_ until then.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Meanwhile, here is one other anecdote for you:
+
+During my usual morning ride, one day lately, I stopped to breathe my
+horse on the top of a little hill, in the suburbs of one of the villages
+upon the banks of the Hudson. While enjoying the beauty of the fine
+landscape before me, my horse, all on a sudden, started violently. I
+presently discovered the cause of his fright. Some little rascals were
+at play in the unenclosed yard of an old building near, and one of them
+was throwing lumps of earth, pieces of broken crockery, rusty
+sheet-iron, etc., upon the plank-walk in front. As I turned my head
+towards them, a little urchin who was perched upon a knob of the root of
+a tree, with his hands upon his knees, cried out, energetically: "There
+now, look-a there! Ain't you a pretty fellow? dirtying up the walk so,
+when people are going by." His little freckled face expressed real
+concern, as he looked fixedly up the walk. Glancing in the same
+direction, I saw an elegantly-dressed lady carefully gathering up her
+dress, preparatory to encountering the sharp obstacles in her path, and
+at once understood the cause of the reproof I had overheard, and which I
+assure you, I have transcribed _verbatim_, though the phrase "pretty
+fellow" may seem incongruous in the mouth of a dirty little Irish boy. I
+only hope the lady--whose gentle smile indicated that she too understood
+the scene--was compensated for being so incommoded, by discerning the
+_inbred politeness_ of her little champion.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+As it is your desire that I should deal rather with practical realities
+than with generalities or theories, let us come in my next, without
+preliminaries, to plain suggestions, presented somewhat in detail, with
+the usual simplicity and frankness of that "plain, blunt man,"
+
+  Your affectionate uncle
+  HAL.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER IV.
+
+MANNER CONTINUED:--PRACTICAL DIRECTIONS.
+
+
+MY DEAR NEPHEWS:
+
+If I rightly remember, I concluded my last letter to my young
+correspondents with a promise of attempting in my next, some _practical
+directions_ in regard to Manner. I will, then, commence, at once
+premising only in the impressive words of the immortal senator, who just
+at present holds so large a space in the world's eye: "In now opening
+this great matter, I am not insensible to the austere demands of the
+occasion."
+
+Important as Manner undoubtedly is, in every relation of life, the
+cultivation of an unexceptionable deportment _at home_, may, perhaps, be
+regarded as of primary consequence, in securing the happiness at which
+all aim, though by means,
+
+       ----"variable as the shade,
+    By the light, quivering aspen made."
+
+I think I have already incidentally alluded to the bad taste, to give it
+no severer name, so commonly exhibited by young persons in this
+country, in their conduct towards _parents_. Let nothing tempt _you_, I
+pray you, into habits so discreditable. Manhood is never depreciated by
+any true estimate, when yielding tribute to the claims of age.--Towards
+your _father_ preserve always a deferential manner, mingled with a
+certain frankness, indicating that thorough confidence, that entire
+understanding of each other, which is the best guarantee of good sense
+in both, and of inestimable value to every young man, blessed with a
+right-minded parent. Accept the advice dictated by experience with
+respect, receive even reproof without impatience of manner, and hasten
+to prove afterwards, that you cherish no resentful remembrance of what
+may even have seemed to you too great severity, or too manifest an
+assumption of authority. Heed the counsel of an old man, who "through
+the loop-holes of retreat" looks calmly on the busy tide of life rolling
+forever onward, and let the sod that closes over the heart that throbs
+no more even with affection and anxiety for you, leave for you only the
+pain of parting--not the haunting demon of _remorse_. Allow no false
+pride, no constitutional obstinacy, to interfere with the better
+impulses of your nature, in your intercourse with your father, or to
+interrupt for an hour the manly trust that should be between you. And in
+the inner temple of _home_, as well as when the world looks on, render
+him reverence due.
+
+There should be mingled with the habitual deference and attention that
+marks your manner to your _mother_, the indescribable tenderness and
+rendering back of care and watchfulness that betokens remembrance of
+her love in earlier days. No other woman should ever induce you to
+forget this truest, most disinterested friend, nor should your manner
+ever indicate even momentary indifference to her wishes or her
+affection. Permit me again to refer you to the example of _our country's
+pride_ in this regard. You will all remember his marked attention,
+through life, to his only parent, and the fact that his first appearance
+in public, on a festive occasion, after the triumph of Yorkstown, was in
+attendance upon his mother at the ball given at Fredericksburgh, in
+celebration of that event. A fair friend of mine, who has written the
+most enthusiastically-appreciative description of this memorable scene
+that I remember to have read, characterizes the manner of Washington as
+illustrating the _moral sublime_, to a degree that filled all beholders
+with admiration. But no one needs the examples of history, or the
+promptings of friendship, to convince him of a duty to which the
+impulses of nature unmistakably direct him: all that I, for a moment,
+suppose you require, is to be reminded that no thoughtlessness should
+permit your _manner_ to do injustice to your feelings, in this sacred
+relation of life.
+
+The familiarity of domestic intercourse should never degenerate into a
+rude disregard for the restraints imposed by refinement, nor an
+unfeeling indifference to the feelings of others. With brothers and
+sisters even, the sense of equality should be tempered by habitual
+self-restraint and courtesy. "No man is great to his _valet de
+chambre_"--no man grows, by the superior gifts of nature, or by the
+power of circumstance, beyond the genial familiarity of domestic
+intercourse. You may be older and wiser than your _brothers_, but no
+prerogatives of birthright, of education, or of intellect can excuse
+assumption, or make amends for the rupture of the natural tie that is
+best strengthened by affectionate consideration and respect.
+
+To his _sisters_, every man owes a peculiar obligation arising from the
+claim nature gives them to his protection, as well as to his love and
+sympathy. Nor is this relative claim wholly abrogated even by their
+being older than he. The attributes and the admitted rights of our sex
+give even younger brothers the privilege,--and such every well
+constituted man will consider it,--of assuming towards such relations
+the position of a friend, confidant and guardian. And the manner of _a
+gentleman_ will always indicate, unmistakably, the delicacy, the
+consideration and the respect he considers due to them. I will not
+assume the possibility of your being indifferent to their love and
+interest; suffice it to say, that both will be best deserved and
+preserved by a careful admingling of the observances of politeness
+practised towards other women, with the playful freedom sanctioned by
+consanguinity. The world will give you no substitutes for the friends
+nature provides--they are bound to you by all ties unitedly. Be ever
+mindful that no rude touch of yours, sunders or even weakens the
+tenderest chords of the heart.
+
+Since
+
+    ----"modest the manners by Nature bestowed
+    On Nature's most exquisite child,"
+
+a man's conduct towards his _wife_ should always indicate respect as
+well as politeness. No rude familiarity should outrage the delicacy that
+veils femininity, no outward indifference or neglect betoken disregard
+of the sacred claims of the woman, whom, next to his mother, every man
+is bound in honor, to distinguish beyond all others, by courteous
+observance. If you consider the affection you doubtless took some pains,
+originally, to win, worth preserving, if you think it of any moment to
+retain the attributes ascribed to you by the object of that affection,
+while you made the endeavor to do full justice to yourself in the eyes
+of your _mistress_,[4] would it be wise to prefer no further claims to
+such characteristics by your manner to your _wife_? I have never
+forgotten the impression made upon me in youth by an exquisite letter in
+one of Addison's Spectators, purporting to be written by an old woman,
+in regard, if I remember, to the very point we are now discussing. It
+contains, as inclosed to the Solon of polite laws in that day, a note
+represented to have been written to her, by the husband of the lady,
+from a London coffee-house, upon some emergency, which is the very
+embodiment of gentle courtesy, and concluding with a respectful apology
+for the coarse paper, and other unseemly appliances of the
+communication. "Could you see the withered hand that indites this, dear
+Mr. Spectator," says the correspondent of Addison, "you would be still
+more impressed by the gallantry that remains thus unimpaired by time,"
+or words to that effect. I have not the original to transcribe from, and
+the copy in my _mental tablets_ is a little dimmed by the wear of years.
+But though the exact phraseology of the number I allude to is
+indistinct, I repeat that I have a thousand times recalled the substance
+with the same pure pleasure and admiration. I have not half done justice
+to it, and, indeed, I am almost ashamed to have so poorly sketched a
+picture whose beauty you may best appreciate by personal inspection. No
+tyro should attempt a copy of the production of an _old
+master_--especially when the mental magician fails to place the original
+before his mind's eye,
+
+    "Pictured fair, in memory's mystic glass."
+
+But if you do not despise such old-fashioned literature as the writings
+of the English classic authors--and certainly, without undue prejudice
+in their favor, I may venture, I think, to say, that a knowledge of the
+writings of such men as Johnson, Goldsmith, Burke, and Addison, should
+make part of the education of every gentleman--if you will look up this
+elegant essay, and read it for yourselves, I can safely promise you
+ample remuneration for your trouble.
+
+  [4] I shall take the liberty to use the word "_mistress_," throughout
+  these letters, in the sense appropriated to it by Addison, Johnson, and
+  other English classic authors. _Sweetheart_ is too old-fashioned.
+  "_Lady-love_" suits the style of my fashionable nieces, better than
+  mine. _Mistress_ is an authorized Saxon word, of well-defined meaning,
+  though, like some others, perverted to a bad use, at times.
+
+Do not degrade your own ideal by a too minute scrutiny, nor forget that
+the shrine of the _Lares_, though it may be approached with the simplest
+offerings, is desecrated by even a momentary forgetfulness that its
+votaries should be
+
+    "_Content to dwell in decencies, forever!_"
+
+The chosen friend of your life, the presiding genius of your home, the
+mother of your children, then, not only claims the high place of trust
+and confidence, but _the proof afforded by manner_ of the existence and
+dominance of these sentiments.
+
+Many men, with the kindest feelings and the clearest perceptions of
+duty, are, from mere inadvertency, unobservant of the fact that they
+habitually give pain to those dependent on them for consideration, by
+neglecting those _graces of manner_ that lend a charm to the most
+trifling actions. Remember, while you are forming habits, in this
+respect, how sensitively constituted are the gentler sex, how easily
+pained, how easily pleased. The more discriminating and affectionate is
+woman, the more readily is she wounded. Like a harp of a thousand
+strings, her nature, if rudely approached, is jarred responsively, while
+the gentlest touch elicits an harmonious thrill. The delightful
+_abandon_ that constitutes one of the most exquisite enjoyments of home,
+is not augmented, for a man of true refinement, by a total disregard of
+ceremony and self-restraint. Selfishness, ill-humor, and a spirit of
+petty tyranny, rest assured, though their manifestation be confined to
+home intercourse, and borne in silence there, will gradually undermine
+character and essentially diminish domestic happiness.
+
+Earnestly, therefore, do I admonish my youthful relatives to cultivate a
+careful observance of the requisitions of what has been well designated
+as "_domestic politeness_." Confer favors with ready cheerfulness, or,
+if necessary, refuse them with an expression of regret, or a polite
+explanation. Never repel solicitations, much less caresses, with
+impatience, nor allow your bearing to indicate the reluctant discharge
+of a duty that should also be a pleasure. A smile, an intonation of
+affection, a glance of appreciation or acknowledgment--small artillery
+all, I grant, my boys, but they will suffice to make a _feu-de-joie_ in
+a loving heart, that will, each and every one of them, cause you to be
+followed in the thorny path of daily life by a blessing that will not
+harm you; they will secure you a welcome, when, world-worn, you shall
+'homeward plod your weary way,' worth all the gold you have gathered,
+and well rewarding all the toil you have encountered.
+
+I will only add, in this connection, that manhood is ennobled by the
+habitual exercise of delicate forbearance towards _helplessness_ and
+_dependence_, and that a high test of character is the right _use of
+power_. Those, then, whom nature teaches to look to you for affection,
+as well as for care and protection--your mother, wife, sisters--should
+invariably derive from your _manner_ evidence of the steadfastness of
+your interest and regard for them.
+
+Like most of the aphorisms of the ancients for subtle wisdom, is the
+saying, "We should reverence the presence of children." Fresh from the
+creating hand of Deity, they are committed to us. While yet unstained by
+the pollutions of the world, should we not render a certain homage to
+their pristine purity and innocence? Should we not hesitate by
+exhibitions of such qualities of our nature as are happily still dormant
+in them, to force them into precocious development? The silent _teaching
+of example_ tells most effectively upon the young for the reason that
+they are insensibly forming in imitation of the models before them,
+without the disadvantages of previous habit, or of diminished
+impressibility. It is no light sin, then, either in our manner towards
+them, or towards others in their presence, to obtrude a false standard
+of propriety upon their notice. If manner be, as we have assumed, active
+manifestation of character, the ductile minds of these nice observers
+and ceaseless imitators must be indeed seriously under its influences.
+That careful study of individual peculiarities which paternal duty
+imperatively demands, will readily suggest the proper modification of
+manner demanded by each different child in a household. It is said that
+children are never mistaken judges of character. Certain it is, at
+least, that they instinctively discern their true friends, and that of
+the "Kingdom of Heaven," as by divine assertion they are--the _Law of
+Love_, attempered in its administration by practical good sense, is the
+most effective influence that can be brought to bear upon them. Permit
+me to recall to your remembrance the _tenderness_ that distinguished the
+manner of Christ towards little children.
+
+Pre-supposing as I have done, thus far in this letter, and as I shall
+continue to do, throughout our correspondence, that you regard moral
+obligation as the grand incentive to the correct discipline even of the
+outer man, arrogating to myself only the office of the lapidary,--that
+of endeavoring to polish, not create, the priceless jewel of
+_principle_, I shall make no apology for the suggestion, that manner
+should not be regarded as beneath the attention of a Christian
+gentleman, in his intercourse with such inmates of his household as may
+from any circumstance be peculiarly sensitive to indications of
+negligent observance. The _aged_, the _infirm_, the _insignificant_, the
+_dependent_; all, in short, who are particularly afflicted "in mind,
+body, or estate," are suitable recipients of the most expressive
+courtesies of manner.
+
+Perhaps no single phase of _manner at home_ more correctly illustrates
+nice mental and moral perceptions than the treatment of _servants_ and
+_inferiors_ generally. One may be just to the primary obligations
+evolved by this relation to others, and yet always receive the service
+of fear rather than of affection. All needless assumption of authority
+or superiority, in connection with this position, is indicative of
+inherent vulgarity, and is at as great a remove from a true standard as
+is undue familiarity. Never to manifest pleasure even by a smile, never
+to make an acknowledgment in words, of the kindly offices that money
+cannot adequately reward, may be very grand and stately, but such
+sublime elevation above one's fellow-creatures raises the heart to
+rather an Alpine attitude--to a height at which the _milk of human
+kindness_ even, may congeal!
+
+Always accept voluntary service with the slight acknowledgment that
+suffices to indicate your consciousness of it, nor deem it unworthy of
+one pilgrim upon the great highway of life to cheer another upon whom
+the toil and burden falls heaviest, by a smile or a word of
+encouragement. The language of request is, as a rule, in better taste
+than that of command, and, in most instances, elicits more ready, as
+well as cheerful obedience. Scott makes Queen Elizabeth say, on a
+momentous occasion, "Sussex, I entreat; Leicester, I command!" "But,"
+adds the author, "the entreaty sounded like a command, and the command
+was uttered in a tone of entreaty." Can you make only a lesson in
+elocution out of this; or will it also illustrate our present theme?
+
+Few persons who have not had their attention called to this subject,
+have any just conception of the real benefits that may be conferred upon
+those beneath us in station by a _pleasant word uttered in a pleasant
+tone_. Like animals and young children, uneducated persons are
+peculiarly susceptible to all external influences. They are easily
+amused, easily gratified--shall I add, easily _satisfied_, mentally?
+The comparatively vacant mind readily admits an impression from without;
+hence, he who "whistles for want of thought," will whistle more cheerily
+for the introduction of an agreeable remembrance, into the unfurnished
+"chambers of imagery," and the humble plodder who relieves us of a
+portion of the dead weight that oppresses humanity, will go on his way
+rejoicing; ofttimes for many a weary mile, impelled by a single word of
+encouragement from his superior officer in the "Grand Army" of life. But
+I hear you say, "Uncle Hal grows military--'the ruling passion strong'
+even in letter-writing. Like the dying Napoleon, his last words will be
+'_Tete d'Armee!_'"--Well, well, boys! pardon an old man's
+diffuseness!--his twilight dullness!
+
+There are occasions when to _talk_ to servants and other employes, make
+part of a humane bearing towards them. To converse with them in relation
+to _their_ affairs rather than our own, is the wiser course, and to
+mingle a little appropriate instruction withal, may not be amiss.
+Remember, too, how easily undisciplined persons are frightened by an
+imperious, or otherwise injudicious, manner on the part of their
+superiors, out of the self-possession essential to their comprehension
+of our wants and language.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I believe even the American author who has long concentrated his mental
+energies in elaborating the literary apotheosis of _Napoleon le Grand_,
+has not ascribed to his idol excessive _refinement of manner_. His
+attempts at playfulness always degenerated into buffoonery, and his
+habitual bearing towards women, in whatever relation they stood to him,
+was unmistakable evidence of his utter want of nicety of perception on
+this point.
+
+Holding a reception, on one occasion, in a gallery of the Tuileries for
+his relatives, his mother was present, with others of his family. The
+emperor proffered his hand to each in turn to kiss. Last of all, his
+venerable parent approached him. As before, he proffered his hand. With
+an air worthy of the severe dignity of a matron of early Grecian days,
+"Madame Mere" waved it aside, and, extending her own, said, "You are the
+king, the emperor, of all the rest, but you are _my son_!" Would a man
+imbued with
+
+    "The fair humanities of old religion"
+
+have needed such a rebuke, from such a source, think you?
+
+Bonaparte was quite as stringent in his enforcement of court rules,
+in regard to dress and all matters of detail, as Louis XIV.
+himself, and often quite as absurd as the "_Grand Monarque_" in
+his requisitions.--Abruptly approaching a high-born lady of the old
+_regime_, one of the members of Josephine's household, who from illness
+(and, perhaps, disgust commingled) had disobeyed an edict commanding
+_full dress_ at an early hour on a particular morning, as she leaned
+against a window in this same gallery of the Tuileries, the First Consul
+contemptuously kicked aside her train, at the same time addressing the
+wearer in an outburst of coarse vituperation.
+
+Madame Junot records a characteristic illustration of Napoleon's unmanly
+disregard of the constitutional timidity of his first wife, as well as
+of his manner towards her in general.
+
+As they were about to cross a turbulent stream upon an insecure-looking
+bridge, in a carriage, the Empress expressed a wish to alight. Napoleon
+forcibly interfered, but permitted the fair narrator of the incident,
+who was in the carriage with them, to do so, upon her informing him with
+the _naivete_ of a true French-woman, that there was a special reason
+for her avoiding a fright! Josephine wept in helpless terror, even when
+the ordeal was safely passed. By-and-by, the whole _cortege_ stopped,
+and every one alighted; the imperial tyrant rudely seizing the empress
+by the arm, dragged her towards the destination of the party, in a
+neighboring wood, saying, as he urged her forward: "You look ugly when
+you cry!"
+
+One of Napoleon's biographers has said of him that many passages in his
+letters to Josephine were such as no decent Englishman would address to
+his 'lady light o' love,' and it is well known that his earliest
+intercourse with the proud daughter of the House of Hapsburg--the
+shrinking representative of the hereditary refinement of a long line of
+high-bred women--was marked by the merest brutality. It was left to a
+citizen of our Republic to discover, in the year of our Lord one
+thousand, eight hundred and fifty-five, that this man was the
+"_Washington of France!_" and to communicate the marvellous fact to the
+present occupant of the imperial throne of the Great Captain--who is, by
+the way, _the grandson of the repudiated Josephine_!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Steaming along the Ohio, some years ago, I had the good-fortune to fall
+in with the most agreeable companions, a father and son, Kentuckians, of
+education and good-breeding. The father had won high public honors in
+his native State, and the son was just entering upon a career demanding
+the full exercise of his fine natural gifts. I was particularly
+attracted by the cordial confidence and affection these gentlemen
+manifested towards each other, and by the manly deference rendered by
+the youth to his venerable sire.
+
+A storm drove us all into the cabin, in the evening, and, while the
+elder of my two new friends and I pursued a quiet conversation in one
+part of the room, his son joined a group of young men at some distance
+from us. Gradually the mirth of those youngsters became so roisterous as
+to disturb our talk. Hot and hotter waged their sport, loud and louder
+grew their laughter, until our voices were fairly drowned, at intervals.
+More than once, I saw the punctilious gentleman of the old school glance
+towards the merry party, of which, by the way, his son was one of the
+least boisterous. At length he spoke, and his clear, calm voice rang
+like a trumpet-note through the apartment:
+
+"Frederick!"--there was an instant lull in the storm, and the faces of
+each of the group turned to us--"make a little less noise, if you
+please."
+
+The youth rose immediately and advanced towards us: "Gentlemen," said
+he, with a heightened color and a respectful bow, "I beg your pardon! I
+really was not aware of being so rude."
+
+I said something about the very natural buoyancy of youthful spirits;
+but I did _not_ say that this little scene had the effect upon me that
+might be produced by unexpectedly meeting, in the log-hut of a
+back-woodsman, with a painting by an old master, representing some fine
+incident of classical or chivalrous history--as, for instance, the
+youthful Roman restoring the beautiful virgin prisoner to her friends
+with the words, "far be it from Scipio to purchase pleasure at the
+expense of virtue!"
+
+My pleasure in observing the intercourse of these amiable relatives in
+some degree prepared me for the enjoyment in store for the favored
+guest, who, at the earnest instance of both father and son, a few days
+afterwards, turned aside in his journey to seek them, _at home_. It was
+a scene worthy the taste and the pen of Washington Irving himself, that
+quaint-looking old family mansion,--in the internal arrangements of
+which there was just enough of modern comfort and adornment to typify
+the softened conservatism of the host,--and the family group that
+welcomed the stranger, with almost patriarchal simplicity and
+hospitality. Really it was a strange episode in busy American life. My
+venerable friend sat, indeed, "under the shadow of his own vine and
+fig-tree, with none to make him afraid," reaping the legitimate reward
+of an honorable, well-spent life, and beside him the friend who had kept
+her place through the heat and burden of the day, and now shared the
+serene repose of the evening of his life. What placid beauty still
+lingered in that matron face, what "dignity and love" marked every
+action! And the fair daughters of the house, who, like Desdemona, "ever
+and anon would come again and gather up our discourse," in the intervals
+of household duty, or social obligation--they seemed to vie with each
+other and with their brother in every thoughtful and graceful observance
+towards their parents and towards me, and the noble boy--for he really
+was scarcely more, even reckoned by the estimate of this "fast"
+age--unspoiled by the dangerous prerogatives of an only son, manifestly
+regarded the bright young band of which he still made one, with the
+mingled tenderness and pride that would ever shield them from
+
+    "The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune."
+
+These all surrounded my venerable host and hostess, as they gently and
+calmly turned their feet towards the downward path of life, with
+intertwining hearts and hands--like a garland of roses enwreathing
+time-worn twin-trees--ever on the watch to lighten each burden they
+would fain have wholly assumed, and with loving care striving to put far
+off for them the evil day when the "grasshopper shall be a burden."
+
+But I essay a vain task when I would picture such a scene for you, my
+friends. If I may hope that I have made _a study_, from which you will
+catch a passing suggestion for future use, in the limning of your own
+life-portraits, it is well.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Chancellor K----, who was my life-long friend, retained, even in the
+latest years of his lengthened life, an almost youthful sprightliness of
+feeling and manner. His son, himself a learned and distinguished son of
+the law, thought no duty more imperative, even in the prime of his
+manhood and in mid career in his honorable profession, than that of
+devotion to his father, in his declining years. He fixed his residence
+near, or with, his venerable parent, and, like the son of ancient Priam,
+long sustained the failing steps of age. Few things have impressed me
+more favorably, in my intercourse with the world, than this noble
+self-sacrifice.
+
+No one unacquainted with my vivacious friend can appreciate the full
+expressiveness of his characteristic remark to me, on an occasion when
+his son happened to be the theme of conversation between us. "_I like
+that young man amazingly!_" said the chancellor.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I still remember the impression made on me, when a boy, by meeting, in
+the streets of my native city, a stalwart young sailor, arrayed in
+holiday dress, and walking with his mother, a little, withered old
+woman, in a decent black dress, hanging upon his arm. How often that
+powerful form, the impersonation of youth, health, and physical
+activity, has risen up before my mind's eye, in contrast with the
+little, tremulous figure he supported with such watchful care, and upon
+which such protecting tenderness breathed from every feature of his
+honest, weather-embrowned face.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Bob and Charley grew side by side, like two fine young saplings in a
+wood, for some years. After awhile, however, the brothers were
+separated. Bob went to a large city, became a merchant, grew rich, lived
+in a fine house, was a Bank Director, and an Alderman. His younger
+brother, pursuing a more modest, but equally manly and elevated career,
+seldom met Bob during some years, and then only briefly at their
+father's house, when there was a family gathering at Thanksgiving, or on
+some other similar occasion.
+
+Once, when I chanced to see these young men together, thus, I remarked
+that, while the sisters of each clung round the neck of the unassuming,
+but true-hearted, right-minded Charley, at his coming, and lost no
+opportunity of being with him, the repellant manner of the elder brother
+held all more or less aloof, though none failed in polite observance
+towards him. Egotistical and pompous, he seemed to regard those about
+him as belonging to an inferior race. As his brother and I sat talking
+together near a table upon which were refreshments, he actually had the
+rudeness to reach between us for a glass, without the slightest word or
+token of apology, with his arm so near to his brother's face as almost
+to touch it! There was more of shame than indignation expressed in that
+fine, ingenuous countenance when it again met my unobstructed gaze, and
+I thought I detected a slight tremor in the sentence he uttered next in
+the order of our conversation.
+
+Before my visit that day was at an end, I found myself exceedingly
+embarrassed as an unwilling auditor of a political discussion between
+Bob and his father, which grew, at length, into an angry dispute, little
+creditable to, at least, the younger of the two word-combatants.
+
+As I stood in the hall that night, awaiting my carriage, I saw Charley
+advance to the door of the library, opening near, and knock lightly. The
+voice of his aged father bade him enter. Opening the door, the young
+man, taking his hat quite off, and bowing almost reverentially, said
+only, "I bid you good night, sir," and quietly closed it again. When
+they turned towards me, there was almost a woman's softness in eyes that
+would have looked undimmed upon the fiercest foe or the deadliest
+peril.--Think you the Recording Angel flew up to Heaven's high Chancery
+with a testimony of that day's deeds and words?
+
+Once, after this, Charley had occasion to visit the city where Bob
+resided. Breakfast over, at his hotel, he sallied forth to call on Bob,
+at his own house, and attend, subsequently, to other matters.
+
+He was shown into an elegant drawing-room, where the master of the
+mansion sat reading a newspaper. Without rising, he offered his hand,
+coldly, and before inviting his visitor to sit, took occasion to say
+that his wife's having an engagement to spend the day out of town would
+prevent his inviting his brother to dine!
+
+As Charley descended the steps of his brother's stately mansion, at the
+termination of his brief call that day, he silently registered a vow
+never again to cross his threshold, unless impelled by imperative duty.
+And yet Bob is not only a rich merchant, an Alderman, and a Bank
+Director, but a _man of fashion_!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+One of the most discriminating and truthful delineators of life and
+manners whom we boast among our native authors, prominent among the
+characteristic traits he ascribes to an old English gentleman, of whom
+he gives us an exquisite portraiture, is that of such considerate
+kindness towards an old servant as to make him endure his peevishness
+and obstinacy with good humor, and affect to consult and agree with
+him, until he gains an important practical point with "time-honored
+age."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Illustrative of our subject is one of the anecdotes recorded of the poet
+Rogers, in his recently published life:
+
+"Mr. Rogers," said the body-servant, who had long attended him in his
+helpless years, "_we_ are invited to dine with Miss Coutts." The
+italicizing is mine. Is it not suggestive?
+
+You remember the rest of the anecdote; Rogers had the habit, during the
+latter years of his life, of writing, when able to use his pen, notes to
+be dated and directed as occasion required, in this established form
+"Pity me, I am engaged." So, on this occasion, the careful attendant
+added: "The _pity-me's_ are all gone!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Weather-bound during the long, cold winter of 18--, by a protracted
+snow-storm and a severe cold, in the house of an old friend, I left my
+comfortable private quarters one morning for a little walk up and down
+the corridor into which my own apartment and those of the family opened.
+
+By and by the active step of my hostess crossed my sauntering way.
+
+"Perhaps it may amuse you to come into the nursery, a little while,
+colonel," said she, "it will be a novelty, at least, to you, to see
+behind the scenes."
+
+"I feel myself honored by the permission, I assure you; the _green-room_
+always has an interest for me!" returned I; and I was soon ensconced in
+a large, cushioned-chair, in a cozy corner, near the open, old-fashioned
+"franklin" in which blazed a cheerful wood-fire. The rosy-cheeked
+juveniles among whom I found myself vied with each other in efforts to
+promote my comfort. One brought her own little chair, and placed it to
+support my feet; another climbed up and stuffed a soft cushion greatly
+larger than his own rotund, dumpling of a figure, between me and the
+chair-back, assuring me with a grave shake of the head, in which I saw
+the future Esculapius, "it is so nice ven your head do ache--mamma say
+so, ven I put him on her always!" and bright-eyed little Bessie, between
+whom and me a very good understanding already existed, crowned the
+varied hospitalities of my initiatory visit by offering me the use of
+her tiny muff!
+
+My hostess, though she kept an observant eye upon us, from her seat by
+her work-table over against my arm-chair, had too much tact to interfere
+with the proceedings of my ministering cherubs; except to prevent the
+possibility of my being annoyed.
+
+When I had leisure to reconnoitre a little, I discovered, among the
+other fixtures in the large, well-lighted, cheerful-looking apartment,
+an old woman with a good-humored face and portly person, seated near a
+window, sewing, with a large, well-stored basket of unmended linen and
+hosiery before her.
+
+Presently, the eldest son, a fine manly boy of some sixteen years
+entered, hat and cane in hand. Used, I suppose, to a jumble of faces and
+forms, in this human kaleidoscope, he evidently did not observe the
+quiet figure in the high-backed chair. "Mother," he exclaimed in a tone
+in which boyish animation and the utmost affection were singularly
+united, striding across the room, like the Colossus of Rhodes, suddenly
+endued with powers of locomotion: "Mother, you are the most beautiful
+and irresistible of your beautiful and irresistible sex!" and stooping,
+he pressed his full, cherry lips gently upon her rounded cheek.
+
+A flash of amusement, mingled with the love-light in the soft eyes that
+met those of the boy. He turned quickly. A scarcely-discernible
+embarrassment of manner, and a quick flush in the bright young face,
+were all that I had time to note, before he was at my side with a
+cordial greeting and a playful welcome to "Mother's Land of Promise."
+
+"Land of Nod, say rather," replied the presiding genius of the scene,
+pointing to the quiescent form of little Bessie, who--her curly head
+pillowed on her chubby arm--was just losing all consciousness of the
+world, upon the rug at her mother's feet.
+
+"George, what an armful!" said the youth, in a sort of half undertone,
+as he tenderly lifted the little lay figure, and bore it to a crib.
+"Don't get up, mother, I can cover her nicely. I say, mammy [an arch
+glance over his shoulder towards the ancient matron of the
+sewing-basket], how heavy bread and milk is, though, eh!"
+
+"Speaking of bread and milk, here comes lunch," continued my hero for
+the nonce, rubbing his hands energetically, and only desisting to give a
+table the dextrous twirl that would bring it near his mother, and assist
+the labors of the servant who had entered with a tray.
+
+"Will, you immense fellow, take yourself out of the way! Colonel, permit
+me to give your sedan-chair just the slightest impulse forward, and so
+save you the trouble of moving. My adorable mother, allow me the honor
+of being your Ganymede. Here we are, all right! Now, let's see what
+there is--ham, baked apples, cold roast beef, hot cocoa--not so bad,
+'pon my word. Colonel, I hope this crispy morning has given you some
+appetite, after your hard cold--allow me"--
+
+"Mammy fust," here interposed little Will, authoritatively, "'cause she
+older dan us!" and, carefully holding the heaped-up plate his mother
+placed in both hands, he deliberately adventured an overland journey to
+the distant object of his affectionate solicitude.
+
+At this juncture, it was discovered that the servant-man who brought up
+the tray, had forgotten the sugar, and a young nursery-maid was
+dispatched for it. Upon her return she contrived, by some awkwardness in
+closing the door, to spill the whole result of her mission to the
+pantry upon the floor. Her arms dropped by her sides, as if suddenly
+paralyzed, and I noticed a remarkable variety in the shade of her broad
+Irish physiognomy.
+
+"There is no great harm done, Biddy," said my hostess, immediately, in a
+peculiarly quiet, gentle voice, "just step down to John for another
+bowlful. While poor Biddy is collecting her scattered senses on the
+stairs, my son, will you kindly assist Willie in picking up the most
+noticeable lumps?--put them in this saucer, my dear. She is just
+learning, you know and--she would not cross that Rubicon as bravely as
+the classic hero you were reading of last night."
+
+"While we are so literary, mother--what is it about the dolphin? If I
+remember rightly Bid was a pretty good exemplification"----
+
+"Hush!--I am glad you thought to bring up more apples, Biddy. Colonel,
+here is the most tempting spitzenberg--so good for a cold, too. Take
+this to mammy will you, Biddy? The one I sent you before, was not so
+nice as these, mammy--your favorite kind, you know."
+
+Amused with the new scene in which I found myself, I accepted the
+assurance of the fair _home mother_, as the Germans have it, that I was
+not in the way, and lingered a little longer.
+
+By and by, John came up to tell his mistress that there was an old man
+at the door with a basket of little things to sell, and that he had sent
+a box of sealing-wax for her to look at.
+
+"Poo' man! poo' man?" said little Will, running up to my knee, with such
+a sorrowful look in his innocent face--"an' it so-o-o col'," he added,
+catching his mother's words, as if by instinct.
+
+"Take him down the money, John," I overheard, in the intervals between
+the discourse of my juvenile instructor, "and this cup of chocolate--it
+will warm him. Ask him to sit by the hall stove, while he drinks it."
+Nothing was said about the exceedingly portly brace of sandwiches that
+were manufactured by the busiest of fingers, and which, through the
+golden veil of Willie's light curls, I saw snugly tucked in, on either
+side of the saucer.
+
+"Now, young ladies," continued my amiable friend, addressing a bevy of
+her rosy-cheeked young nieces, who had just before entered the room,
+"here is a stick of fancy-colored wax, for each of us--make your own
+choice. Luckily there is a red stick for Col. Lunettes" (a half
+deprecatory glance at me), "the only color gentlemen use. And," as she
+received the box again--"there is some for mammy and me--we are in
+partnership, you know, mammy!"
+
+A pleased look from the centre of the wide cap-frills by the window, was
+the only response to this appeal; but I had repeatedly observed that,
+despite her industry, mammy's huge spectacles took careful cognizance of
+the various proceedings around her.
+
+As I was about, for very shame, to beat a retreat, a cheery--"good
+morning, Colonel, I tapped at your door, as I came up, and thought you
+were napping it," arrested my intended departure. "So wifie has coaxed
+you in here! Just like her! She thinks she can take the best care of you
+with"--
+
+"With the rest of the children!" I interrupted.
+
+"My _loving spou_," as Bessie says, when she recites John Gilpin, "may I
+trouble you to tie my cravat?" And with that important article of attire
+in his hand, my friend knelt upon a low foot-stool, before his household
+divinity.
+
+"Thompson," said I, "I always knew you were one of the luckiest fellows
+in the whole world; but may I ask--just as a point of scientific
+inquiry--whether that office is always performed for you,
+
+    'One fair spirit for your minister?'"
+
+"Not a bit of it! No indeed, 'pon my word! only when I go to a dinner,
+as to-day--or to church, or--I say, Will, you unmitigated rogue, how
+dare you! you'll spoil my cravat--don't you see mamma is just tying it!"
+
+The little fellow thus objurgated, his eyes scintillating with mirth,
+now fairly astride of his father's shoulders, clung tenaciously to his
+prize, and petitioned for a ride in his familiar seat.
+
+Resorting to stratagem, where force would ill apply, the father, rising
+with a "thank you, dear wifie," retired backward towards a wide bed,
+and, by a dextrous movement, suddenly landed his youthful captor in a
+heap in the middle.
+
+To lose no time, the brave boy, "conquered, but not subdued," made the
+best use of his lungs, while reducing his arms and legs to order, and
+Bessie, opening her beaming eyes, at this outcry, stretched out her arms
+to aid her pathetic appeal to papa to "p'ay one little hos" with her,
+"_only but one_!"
+
+Evidently fearful of being out-generalled, the invader beat a rapid
+retreat from the enemy's camp, with the words "thank you, love, I
+believe the little rascal didn't tumble it, though I came within an ace,
+like a real alderman, of _dying of a dinner_--before it was eaten!"
+
+After this initiatory visit to the nursery of my fair friend, Mrs.
+Thompson, I was allowed to come and go at my own pleasure, during the
+remainder of my visit beneath her hospitable roof, and I found myself so
+interested and amused by what I witnessed there, as often to leave the
+solitude of my own apartment, though surrounded there by every possible
+"aid and appliance" of comfort and enjoyment that refinement and
+courtesy could supply, to learn the most beautiful lessons of practical
+wisdom and goodness from the most unpretending of teachers.
+
+One morning when the _habitue_ had sought his accustomed post of
+observation, a young lady presented herself at the door, and seeing me,
+was about to retreat with something about its being very early for a
+visit, when Mrs. Thompson recalled her with a "Come in, my dear, and let
+me have the pleasure of presenting you to Colonel Lunettes, the friend
+of whom you have heard us all speak so often."
+
+After the usual courtesies, this lovely earth-angel, with some
+hesitation, and drawing her chair nearer her friend, explained her
+errand.
+
+Making a little screen of a cherub-head, as was my wont, I regaled
+myself unobserved, with the music of sweet voices and the study of
+pretty faces. I caught--"my old drawing-teacher"--"her husband was a
+brute in their best days"--"this long, hard winter"--"not even a
+carpet"--"the poor child on a wooden-bottomed chair, with a little dirty
+pillow behind her head, and so emaciated!"--here there was a very
+perceptible quiver in the low tones, followed by a little choking sort
+of pause.
+
+"I am really grateful to you for coming--I have been unusually occupied
+lately by the baby's illness and other duties--the weather has given me
+more than one twinge of conscience"--this accompanied by a quiet
+transfer from one purse to another, and then I heard, as the two ladies
+bent over the crib of the sleeping infant--"is there a stout boy among
+the children? There are the barrels of pork and beef, always ready in
+the cellar--each good and wholesome of their kind--husband always has
+them brought from the farm on purpose to give away; and we have
+abundance of fine potatoes--John could not readily find the place, and
+really, just now, he is pretty busy; still, perhaps, they have the
+natural pride of better days--if you think it well, I will try to
+send"--the gentle ministers of mercy left the room together, and I heard
+no more.
+
+Presently, the youth of whom I have before spoken, still at home
+enjoying his holiday's college vacation, joined me, and, between the
+exercises of an entertaining gymnastic exhibition, in which he and
+Willie were the chief performers, regaled me with humorous sketches of
+college adventures, anecdotes of the professors, etc., in the details of
+some of which I think he had his quiet old nurse in his mind's eye, as
+well as his father's guest.
+
+When Mrs. Thompson resumed her accustomed seat at her business-table, as
+it might well be called, my agreeable young entertainer slid away from
+the group about the fire, and was soon snugged down, in his own favorite
+fashion, with his legs comfortably crossed over the top of the chair
+sustaining mammy's implements, cheek-by-jowl with the venerable genius
+of the sewing-basket, dipping into a newspaper, and chatting, at
+intervals, with his humble friend. Once in a while I caught a sentence
+like this:
+
+"I say, mammy, you can't begin to think how glad I am you are getting
+down to my shirts! Such work as they make washing for a fellow at
+college! My black washerwoman (and such a beauty as she is--such a
+little rosebud of a mouth!) pretends to fasten the loose buttons--now,
+there is a specimen of her performances--just look! The real truth is,
+Mrs. Welch, that mother and you are the only women I know of who can sew
+on a button worth a pin--just the only two, by George! Now, there's
+Pierre de Carradeaux, one of our young fellows down there--his friends
+all live in Hayti, or some other unknown and uninhabitable region, you
+know, over the sea--I wish you could see his clothes! The way they mend
+at the tailors! But the darns in his stockings are the funniest. He
+rooms with me, and so I hear him talking to himself, in French. I am
+afraid he swears, sometimes--but the way he fares is enough to make a
+saint swear!" And then followed a detail that caused mammy to wipe her
+eyes in sympathy with this strange phase of human woe, in alternation
+with an occasional exclamation of amusement--like, "You'll surely be the
+death of me, Master Sidney!" apparently forced spasmodically from her
+lips, despite the self-imposed taciturnity which, I shrewdly suspected,
+my presence created.
+
+"Mother, my revered maternal primitive, may I read you this anecdote?
+Colonel, will you allow me?"--a respectful glance at the book in my
+hand. And squeezing himself in from behind, by some utterly
+inconceivable india-rubber pliancy, between the fire and his
+much-enduring parent, the tall form of the stripling slowly subsided
+until I could discern nothing but a mass of wavy black hair reposing
+amid the soft folds of his mother's morning-gown, and a bit of his
+newspaper. Thus disposed, apparently to the entire satisfaction of all
+concerned, he read:
+
+"Once, while the celebrated John Kemble, the renowned actor and acute
+critic, was still seated at the dinner-table of an English nobleman,
+with whom he had been dining, a servant announced that Mrs. Kemble
+awaited her husband in a carriage at the door. Some time elapsed, and
+the impersonator of Shakspeare's mighty creations remained immovable.
+At length the servant, re-entering, said: 'Mrs. Kemble bids me say, sir,
+that she is afraid of getting the _rheumatiz_.' 'Add _ism_,' replied the
+imperturbable critic of language, and quietly continued his discourse
+with his host."
+
+"If I should ever be compelled to marry--which, of course, I never shall
+unless you disinherit me, mother, or mammy insists upon leaving us to
+keep house for that handsome widower, in the long snuff
+overcoat--[though the respectable female thus alluded to did not even
+glance up from her stitching, I plainly marked a little nod of virtuous
+defiance, and a fluttering in the crimpings of the ample cap-border,
+that plainly expressed desperation to the hopes of the widower
+aforesaid]--but if fate _should_ decree my 'attaining knowledge under
+difficulties,' upon this subject, I hope I'll be a little too decent to
+keep my wife sitting out doors in a London fog (I shall make a bridal
+tour to Europe, of course), while I am imbibing, even with a 'nobleman.'
+Speaking of the tyranny of fate, I am, most reluctantly, compelled to
+deprive you of my refreshing conversation, my dear and excellent mother.
+If my dilapidated linen is restored to its virgin integrity: in other
+words, if my shirt is done, I propose retiring to the deepest shades of
+private life, and getting myself up, without the slightest consideration
+for the financial affairs of my honored masculine progenitor, for a
+morning call upon ----, the fortunate youthful beauty I, at present,
+honor with my particular adoration." So saying, Sir Hopeful slowly
+emerged from his 'loop-hole of retreat,' and making a profound obeisance
+to his guardian spirit, and another to me, a shade less lowly, he took
+himself off, with his linen over his arm, and a grand parting flourish
+at the door, with his hat upon his walking-stick, for the especial
+benefit of his little brother, which elicited a shout of unmingled
+admiration from the juvenile spectators that need not have been despised
+by Herr Alexander himself.
+
+During dinner that day, as the varied and most bountiful course of
+pastry, etc., was about to be removed, young Sidney said:
+
+"Mother, allow me to relieve you of the largest half of that
+solitary-looking piece of mince-pie. I am sorry I cannot afford to take
+the whole of it under my protecting care."
+
+"My dear son," replied my hostess, pleasantly, "let me suggest the
+attractions of variety. You have already done your _devoir_ to this pie.
+Your father pronounces the cocoanut excellent"--and then, as if in reply
+to the look of surprise that met her good-humored sally, she added, in a
+tone meant only for the ears of the youth, "this happens to be the last,
+and mammy eats no other, you remember."
+
+"No great matter, either; to-morrow will be baking-day. Now I know why
+you took none yourself, mother," answered Sidney, cheerfully, in the
+same "aside" manner; and the placid smile on the hospitable face of the
+'home-mother' alone acknowledged her recognition of the ascription of
+self-denial to her; for it is not occasionally, but always, that
+
+    "In the clear heaven of her delightful eye,
+    An angel guard of loves and graces lie."
+
+  Adieu!
+  UNCLE HAL.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER V.
+
+MANNER--PRACTICAL DIRECTIONS.
+
+
+MY DEAR NEPHEWS:
+
+Though good breeding is always and everywhere essentially the same,
+there are phases of daily life, especially demanding its exhibition.
+_Manner in the street_ is one of these.
+
+Even in hours most exclusively devoted to business, do not allow
+yourself to hurry along with a clouded, absent face and bent head, as if
+you forever felt the foot of the earth-god on your neck! Carry an erect
+and open brow into the very midst of the heat and burden of the day.
+Take time to see your friends, as they cross you in the busy
+thoroughfares of life and, at least by a passing smile or a gesture of
+recognition, give token that you are not resolved into a mere
+money-making machine, and both will be better for this fleeting
+manifestation of the inner being.
+
+During business hours and in crowded business-streets no man should ever
+stop another, whom he knows to be necessarily constantly occupied at
+such times, except upon a matter of urgent need, and then if he alone
+is to be benefited by the detention, he should briefly apologize and
+state his errand in as few words as possible.
+
+But the habit of a cheerful tone of voice, a cordial smile, and friendly
+grasp of the hand, when meeting those with whom one is associated in
+social life, is not to be regarded as unimportant.
+
+If you do not intend to stop, when meeting a gentleman friend, recognize
+him as you approach, by a smile, and touching your hat salute him
+audibly with--"Good morning, sir," or "I hope you are well, sir," or
+(more familiarly), "Ah, Charley!--good morning to you." But don't say,
+"How d' ye do, sir," when you cannot expect to learn, nor call back as
+you pass, something that will cause him to linger, uncertain what you
+say.
+
+If you wish to stop a moment, especially in a thoroughfare, retain the
+hand you take, while you retire a little out of the human current; and
+never fall into the absurdity of attempting to draw a tight or moistened
+glove while another waits the slow process. It is better to offer the
+gloved hand as a rule, without apology, in the street.
+
+If you are compelled to detain a friend, when he is walking with a
+stranger, briefly but politely apologize to the stranger, and keep no
+one "in durance vile" longer than absolute necessity requires. When thus
+circumstanced yourself, respond cheerfully and courteously to the
+apologetic phrase offered, and, drawing a little aside, occupy yourself
+with anything beside the private conversation that interrupts your
+walk. Sometimes circumstances render it decorous to pass on with some
+courteous phrase, to step into some neighboring bookseller's, etc., or
+to make a rapid appointment for a re-union. Cultivate the quick
+discernment, the ready tact, that will engender _ease of manner_ under
+those and similar circumstances requiring prompt action.
+
+Never leave a friend suddenly in the street, either to join another, or
+for any other reason, without an apology; the briefest phrase, expressed
+in a _cordial tone_, will suffice, in an emergency.
+
+Upon passing servants, or other inferiors in station, whom you wish to
+recognize, in the street, it is a good practice, without bowing or
+touching the hat, to salute them in a kindly voice.
+
+When you meet a gentleman whom you know, walking with one or more
+ladies, with whom you are not acquainted, bow with grave respect to them
+also.
+
+Politeness requires that upon meeting ladies and gentlemen together,
+with both of whom one is acquainted, that one should lift the hat as he
+approaches them, and bowing first to the ladies, include the gentleman
+in a sweeping motion, or a succeeding bow, as the case permits. Should
+you stop, speak first to the lady, but do not offer to shake hands with
+a lady in full morning costume, should your glove be dark-colored or
+your hand uncovered. Again lift your hat to each, in succession of age
+or rank, as a substitute for this dubious civility, with some playful
+expression, as "I am sorry my glove is not quite fresh, Mrs. ----, but
+you need no assurance of my being always the most devoted of your
+friends" or "admirers," or "Really, Miss ----, you are so beautifully
+dressed, and looking so charmingly, that I dare not venture too near!"
+And as you part, again take your hat quite off, letting the party _pass
+you_, and on the wall side of the street, if that be practicable.
+
+In the street with other men, carefully give that precedence to superior
+age or station which is so becoming in the young, by taking the outer
+side of the pavement, or that nearer the counter current, as
+circumstances may make most polite. When you give, or have an arm,
+carefully avoid all erratic movements, and _keep step_, like a
+well-trained soldier!
+
+Towards _ladies_, in the streets, the most punctilious observance of
+politeness is due. Walking with them, one should, of course, assume the
+relative position best adapted to protect them from inconvenience or
+danger, and carefully note and relieve them from the approach of either.
+In attending them into a store, &c., always give them precedence,
+holding the door open from without, if practicable. If compelled to pass
+before them, to attend to this courtesy, say, "allow me," or "with your
+permission," etc. Meeting ladies, the hat should be taken off as you
+bow, and replaced when you have passed, or, if you pause to address
+them, politely raised again as you quit them.
+
+When you are stopped by a lady friend in the street, at once place
+yourself so as best to shield her from the throng, if you are in a
+crowd, or from passing vehicles, etc., and never by your manner
+indicate either surprise or embarrassment upon such an occasion. Allow
+_her_ to terminate the interview, and raise your hat quite off as you
+take leave of her.
+
+When a stranger lady addresses an inquiry to you in the street, or when
+you restore something she has inadvertently dropped, touch your hat
+ceremoniously, and with some phrase or _accent_ of respect, add grace to
+a civility.
+
+If you have occasion to speak more than a word or two to a lady whom you
+may meet in walking, turn and accompany her while you say what you wish,
+and, taking off your hat, when you withdraw, express your regret at
+losing the further enjoyment of her society, or the like.
+
+If you wish to join a lady whom you see before you, be careful in
+hurrying forward not to incommode her (or others, indeed), and do not
+speak so hurriedly, or loudly, as to startle her, or arrest attention,
+and should you have only a slight acquaintance with her, say, as you
+assume a position at her side, "With your permission, madam, I will
+attend you," or "Give me leave to join your walk, Miss ----" etc.
+
+Of course, no well-bred man ever risks the possibility of intrusion in
+this way, or ever speaks first to a lady to whom he has only had a
+passing introduction. In the latter case, you look at a lady as you
+advance towards her, and await her recognition.
+
+Speaking of an intrusion, you should be well assured that you will not
+make an _awkward third_ before you venture to attach yourself to a lady
+and gentleman walking together, though you may even know them very
+well; and the same rule holds good in a picture-gallery, rococo-shop, or
+elsewhere, when two persons, or a party, sit or walk together.
+
+Every man is bound by the laws of courtesy, to note any street accident
+that imperils ladies, and at once to hasten to render such service as
+the occasion requires. Promptitude and self-possession may do good
+service to humanity and the fair, at such a juncture.
+
+Should you observe ladies whom you know, unattended by a gentleman,
+alighting from or entering a carriage, especially if there is no
+footman, and the driver maintains his seat, at once advance, hold the
+door open, and offer your hand, or protect a dress from the wheel, or
+the like, and bowing, pass on, all needed service rendered; or, if more
+familiarity and your own wish sanction it, accompany them where they may
+chance to be entering.
+
+No general rule can be laid down respecting offering the arm to ladies
+in the street. Where persons are known and reside habitually, local
+custom will usually be the best guide. At night, the arm should always
+be tendered, and so in ascending the multiplied steps of a public
+building, etc., for equally obvious reasons. For similar cause, you go
+before ladies into church, into a crowded concert-room, etc., wherever,
+in short, they are best aided in securing seats, and escaping jostling,
+by this precedence of them. When attending a stranger lady, in visiting
+the noted places of your own city, or the like, and when one of a party
+for a long walk, or of travellers, it may often be an imperative
+civility to proffer the arm. To relatives, or elderly ladies, this is
+always a proper courtesy, as it is to every woman, when you can thus
+most effectually secure her safety or her comfort.
+
+Do not forget, when walking with elderly people, or ladies, to moderate
+the headlong speed of your usual step.
+
+I will here enter my most emphatic protest against a practice of which
+ladies so justly complain,--the too-frequent rudeness of men in
+stationing themselves at the entrance of churches, concert-rooms, opera
+houses, etc., for the express purpose, apparently, of staring every
+modest woman who may chance to enter, out of countenance. No one
+possessed of true good-breeding will indulge in a practice so at
+variance with propriety. If occasion demands your thus remaining
+stationary upon the steps or in the portico of a public edifice, make
+room, at once, for ladies who may be entering, and avoid any appearance
+of curiosity regarding them. A similar course is suitable when occupying
+a place upon the steps, or at the windows of a pump-room at a
+watering-place, or of a hotel. Carefully avoid all semblance of staring
+at ladies passing in the street, alighting from a carriage, etc., and
+make no comment, even of a complimentary nature, in a voice that can
+possibly reach their ears. So, when walking in the street, if beauty or
+grace attract your attention, let your regard be respectful, and, even
+then, not too fixed. An audible comment or exclamation, addressed to a
+companion, a laugh, a familiar stare, are each and all, when any
+stranger, and more especially a _woman_, is the subject of them,
+unhandsome in the extreme.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Breakfasting one morning, at West Point, with an agreeable Portuguese,
+we chatted for some time over the newspapers and our coffee, as we sat
+within view of one of the most beautiful landscapes it has ever been my
+fortune to behold. At length our _un-American_ indulgence in this
+respect, became the theme of conversation between us.
+
+"Pardon me," said the elegant foreigner, "but though the Americans are
+very kind--a very pleasant people, they do not take enough of time for
+these things, at all. They do not only eat in a hurry, but they even
+_pass their friends_ in the street, sometimes, _without speaking to
+them_! I remember last winter, in Philadelphia, where I was some months,
+I met one day, in Chestnut street, a gentleman whom I knew very well,
+and he passed me without speaking. I made up my mind at once, that this
+shall not happen again, so the next time I saw him coming, I looked into
+a shop window, or at something, and did not see him. He came to me and
+said--"Good morning, Mr. A----! what is the matter with you, that you do
+not speak to me?" or something like that. I answered, that he had _cut_
+me in the street (I think that is what you call it!) two or three days
+before, and that I never will permit myself to be treated in this
+manner. Then he said, that I must excuse him, that he must have been
+_in business_ and did not see me, and so on. But this is not the way of
+a _gentleman_ in my country!"
+
+You must imagine for yourselves the double effect, lent to the words of
+my companion by his foreign action and imperfect pronunciation, and the
+slight curl of his dark moustache as he emphasized the words I have
+underscored.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"What a harum-scarum fellow that James Condon is!" exclaimed a young
+lady, in my hearing. "I had reason to repent declining to drive to the
+concert last night, I assure you! The moon, upon which I had counted,
+was obscured, and he not only hurried me along (though we had plenty of
+time, as I was quite ready when he came), at breathless speed, but
+actually dragged me over a heap of rubbish, in crossing the street, upon
+which I nearly tumbled down, though I had his arm. When we reached the
+place, I was so heated and flurried that I could not half enjoy the
+music, and this morning I find not only that my handsome new boots are
+completely spoiled, but that I have any quantity of lime upon the bottom
+of the dress I wore, and my pretty fan, which he must needs insist upon
+carrying for me, sadly broken!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"I have seen everything and everybody I wish, in London, except the Duke
+of Wellington," said a sprightly lady whose early morning walk past
+Apsley House--the town residence of the Iron Duke--I was attending some
+years since, "every distinguished man, except the Hero of Waterloo. I
+hope I shall not lose that pleasure!"
+
+"You may have that pleasure now, madam!" exclaimed a gentleman, passing
+us and rapidly walking forward, in whose erect figure and very narrow
+brimmed hat, I at once recognized the object of my companion's hitherto
+unsatisfied curiosity.
+
+Strolling in Kensington Park, during that same morning, and at an hour
+too unfashionably early for a crowd, with my fair charge, I drew her
+gently aside, as she leaned on my arm, from some slight obstruction in
+our path, which she did not observe, and which might otherwise have
+incommoded her.
+
+"Really Colonel Lunettes," said she, "your watchful politeness reminds
+me of my dear father's. You gentlemen of the old school so much surpass
+modern beaux in courtesy! I well remember the last walk I had in
+Broadway with papa, before we sailed. Mrs. W---- and I were making a
+morning visit, quite up town for us Brooklynites--in Union Place, upon a
+bride, when who should also arrive but papa. When we took leave, he
+accompanied us, and finding that we had taken a fancy to walk all the
+way to the ferry, insisted upon going with us--only think, at his age,
+and so luxurious in his habits, too! As he is a little hard of hearing,
+and likes always to talk with Mrs. W----, who is a great favorite of
+his, I insisted upon his walking between us--that I might have his arm,
+and yet not interfere with his conversation. This, of course, brought me
+on the outside. But I cannot describe to you the watchful care he had
+for me, all the way. At the slightest crowding he held me so firmly--saw
+every swerve of the vehicles towards us, and would hold my dress away
+from every rough box or so, that lumbered the sidewalk, and every now
+and then he would say--'Minnie, wouldn't you be more comfortable on my
+other arm? I am afraid you will be hurt there!' At the Brooklyn ferry he
+was to leave us, as he could not go over to dine that day. Seeing a
+crowd at the door of the office, he hastened a little before us to pay
+the fare, and then saw us safely through the press, taking leave of me
+as politely as of Mrs. W----. 'What an elegant gentleman your father
+is!' cried out Mrs. W----, as soon as he was gone, 'he always reminds me
+of the descriptions we read of the chivalrous courtesy of knights of
+olden time; it is like listening to a heroic ballad to be with him, and
+receive his politeness.' I know you won't laugh at me, Colonel, when I
+say that the memory of that simple incident is still as fresh in my
+heart, as though no ocean voyage and long travel had come between; and I
+can truly say that I was prouder of my _cavalier attendant_ that day,
+than I ever was of all the young men together, who ever walked Broadway,
+with me." The tremulous tones, the glistening eyes, and the glowing
+cheeks of the fair young speaker attested the truth of her filial
+boast, and I--but you must draw your own morals!
+
+Presently we resumed our chat, and the theme of the moment together.
+
+"I well recollect," said my companion, in the course of our discussion,
+"the impression produced upon me, in my girlhood, by the manners of a
+young gentleman, who was my groomsman at the wedding of a young friend.
+Some of the lessons of good breeding taught me by his example, I shall
+never forget, I think. I was the most bashful creature in the world at
+that time, and he quite won my heart by the politeness with which he set
+me at ease, at once, when he came to take me away in a carriage to join
+my young friends. But that was not the point: the next morning after the
+wedding, we were all to attend the 'happy pair' as far as Saratoga, on
+their wedding-tour; that is, the bridesmaids and bridesmen. At
+Schenectady, we were put into an old-fashioned car, divided into
+compartments. Just as we were about to start, a singularly tall, gaunt,
+Yankeefied-looking elderly woman scrambled into our little box of a
+place, and seated herself. We were fairly off, before she seemed fully
+to realize the trials of her new position. She did not say, in the
+language of the popular song,
+
+    'I think there must be danger
+        'Mong so many sparks!'
+
+but she looked as though she feared having fallen among the Philistines;
+and, I am ashamed to say that some of our merry party made no scruple of
+privately amusing themselves with her peculiarities of dress and manner.
+Mr. Henry, however (my groomsman), addressed some polite remarks to her,
+in so grave and respectful a manner as soon to convince her of his
+sincerity, and as carefully watched the sparks that fell upon her thick
+worsted gown, as those that annoyed the rest of us. At the first
+stopping-place, you may be very sure that the unwilling intruder was in
+haste to change her seat.
+
+"'Do you wish to get out, madam!' inquired Mr. Henry; 'allow me to help
+you;' and bounding out, he assisted her down the high step, as carefully
+and respectfully as though she were some high dame of rank and fashion.
+I am afraid that, though I did not actually join in the merriment of my
+thoughtless friends, I deserved the sting of conscience that served to
+fasten this little incident so firmly in my remembrance. Perhaps I was,
+for this reason, the more impressed by another proof of the ever-ready
+politeness of this gentleman, who made such an impression upon my
+girlish fancy. We dined at Ballston, on our way to Saratoga, and after
+dinner, I asked Mr. Henry, with whom, in spite of my first awe of his
+superiority of years and polish, I began to feel quite at ease, to run
+down with me to one of the Springs, for a glass of water, before we
+should resume our journey. So he good-naturedly left the gentlemen
+(_now_ I know that he may have wished to smoke) together at the table,
+and accompanied me. But now for my _denoument_. Just as we were in a
+narrow place, between a high, steep bank and the track, the cars came
+rushing towards us. In an instant, _quicker_ than thought, Mr. Henry had
+transferred me from the arm next the cars--because more removed from the
+edge of the bank--to the other arm, thus placing his person between me
+and any passing danger, and with such a quiet, re-assuring manner! You
+smile, Colonel--but, really--well, you see what an impression it made
+upon my youthful sensibilities!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Oh, girls, such a charming adventure as I had this evening!" exclaimed
+Margaret, as a bevy of fair young creatures clustered together before
+the fire in a drawing-room where I was seated after dinner, with my
+newspaper. My attention was arrested by the peculiar animation with
+which these words were pronounced, and I glanced at the group, over the
+top of my spectacles. They reminded me of so many brilliant-hued
+butterflies, in their bright-colored winter dresses, and with their
+light, wavy motions as they settled themselves, one on a pile of
+cushions, others on a low ottoman, and two pretty fairies on the
+hearth-rug, each uttering some exclamation of gratification at the
+prospect of amusement.
+
+"Now, don't expect anything extraordinary or dreadful, you silly
+creatures; I have no 'hair-breadth 'scapes by land or sea' to entertain
+you with. Can't one have a 'charming adventure,' and yet have nothing
+to tell?"
+
+"But do tell us all there is to tell, dear Miss ----. Do, please, this
+very moment," entreated one of the fairies, linking her arms around her
+companion, and mingling her golden ringlets with the darker locks of the
+head upon which her own lovingly rested. And a little concert of similar
+pleadings followed. This prelude over, the tantalizing adventuress
+began:
+
+"Before I went over to New York this morning, I wrote a little note to
+Mary Bostwick, telling her all about our arrangements for the
+Christmas-tree, and charging her not to fail to come to us on Christmas
+eve, and all about it, for fear that, as I had so much to accomplish, I
+might not be able to go up to Twenty-third street, and return home in
+time to meet you all here. My plan was to keep it until I was decided,
+and then, if obliged to send it, to put it in one of the City Express
+letter-boxes. Well, by the time I was through with all my important
+errands, it was time for me to turn my steps homeward. So, happening
+last at Tiffany's, to get the--I mean, I asked at Tiffany's for one of
+the places where a box is kept in that neighborhood, and was told that
+there was one in a druggist's, quite near--just above. Hurrying along, I
+must have passed the place, and stopped somewhere not far below
+'Taylor's,' to see exactly where I was. Time was flying, and it was
+really almost growing dark; so I ventured to inquire of a gentleman who
+was passing, though an entire stranger, for the druggist's.
+
+"'I think it is below, near the Astor House,' said he, with such an
+appearance of interest as to embolden me to mention what I was in search
+of.
+
+"'If that is all,' he replied, 'I dare say there is one nearer. Let me
+see,' glancing around, 'I think there is one on the opposite corner--I
+will see.'
+
+"'I have no right to give you that trouble, sir,' said I.
+
+"'Yes you have--it is what every man owes to your sex.'
+
+"'You are very good, sir; but I am sure I can make the inquiry for
+myself.'
+
+"'No, it is a tavern, where you cannot properly go alone! Remain here,
+and I will ascertain for you.'
+
+"Before I could repeat my thanks, the gentleman was half across the
+street.
+
+"Hoping to facilitate matters, I followed him to the opposite pavement,
+and stood where he would observe me upon coming out of the door I had
+seen him enter. I held the note and my porte-monnaie ready in my hand.
+
+"'There is a box here,' said my kind friend, returning, 'if you will
+intrust me with your letter, I will deposit it for you.'
+
+"'You are very good, sir; I would like to pay it,' I answered, opening
+my porte-monnaie.
+
+"He took the letter quickly, and prevented my intended offer of the
+postage so decidedly, that I did not dare insist. But, by this time, I
+really could not refrain from the expression of more than an ordinary
+acknowledgment:
+
+"'I have to thank you, sir,' said I, 'not only for a real kindness to a
+stranger, but for a _pleasant memory_, which I shall not soon lose. Such
+courtesy is too unusual to be soon forgotten! 'How far one little candle
+sometimes throws its rays!'--many thanks and good evening, sir!'
+
+"I had still one more errand in Canal street, but I stayed on the
+'unfashionable side' of the street, and went up, to avoid the
+awkwardness of re-crossing with the gentleman, and the possibility of
+imposing any further tax upon his politeness--bless him! I wasn't half
+as weary after I met him, and my heart has been in a glow ever since!"
+
+"Bravo!" "Bravissimo!" echoed round the room, in various waves of
+silvery sound.
+
+"Is that all, Miss ----?" inquired the only _boy_ of the party, unless
+you except the approach to second childhood ensconced behind the
+newspaper, and now acting the amiable part of _reporter_, for your
+benefit.
+
+"All, unless I add that I occasionally glanced cautiously over, to catch
+the form of my kind friend, as I hurried along, that I might not again
+cross his path; but I did not 'calculate' successfully after all; for,
+as I ran across Broadway, at Canal street corner, he was a little nearer
+than I had expected. I bowed slightly, and hurried on:--but wasn't it
+beautiful? Such chivalrous sentiments towards women: '_It is what we all
+owe your sex!_' And his manner was more expressive than his words--so
+gentle and quiet! No stage effect"----
+
+"But you quoted Shakespeare," insinuated a pretty piece of malice on the
+ottoman.
+
+"I couldn't help it, if I did! I was surprised out of the use of
+ordinary language by an extraordinary occasion. If you are going to
+ridicule me, I shall be sorry I told you; for it is one of the
+pleasantest things that has happened to me in a great while! There was
+I, in my _incognito-dress_, as I call it, weary and pale, nothing about
+me to attract interest, I am sure! I wish such men were more common in
+this world, they would elevate the race!"
+
+"I declare, cousin Maggie, you are growing enthusiastic! I haven't seen
+such beaming eyes and such a brilliant color for a long time! Was this
+most gallant knight of yours a _young_ gentleman, may I ask?"
+
+The lady thus questioned seemed to reflect a moment before she replied:
+
+"If you mean to inquire whether he was a whiskered, moustached
+_elegant_, not a bit of it! I should not have addressed such a man in
+the street. On the contrary, he was"----
+
+"_Married_, I am afraid!" interrupted pretty mischief on the ottoman,
+giggling behind her next neighbor.
+
+"I dare say he may have been," pursued the narrator, quietly. "No very
+young man, even if he had wished to be polite to a stranger neither
+young nor beautiful, which is very doubtful, would have exhibited the
+graceful self-possession and easy politeness of this gentleman:--he was,
+probably, going to his home in the upper part of the city after a
+business-day. As I remember his dress, though, of course, I had no
+thought about it at the time, it was the simple, unnoticeable attire of
+an American gentleman when engaged in business occupations--everything
+about him, as I recall his presence, was in keeping--unostentatious,
+quiet, appropriate! I shall long preserve his portrait in my
+picture-gallery of memory, and I am proud to believe that he is my own
+countryman!"
+
+"Cousin Maggie always says," remarked one of her auditors, "that
+Americans are the most truly polite men she has met"----
+
+"Yes," returned the enthusiast, "though sometimes wanting in mere
+surface-polish--
+
+    'Where'er I roam, whatever lands I see,
+    My heart, untravelled, fondly turns to'----
+
+my own dear, honored countrymen--more truly chivalrous, more truly just
+towards our sex, than the men of any other land! I never yet appealed to
+one of them for aid, for courtesy, _as a woman, and as a woman should_,
+in vain. And I never, scarcely, am so placed as to have occasion for
+kindness--real kindness--without receiving it, unasked. The other day,
+for instance, caught in a sudden shower, I stood waiting for a stage,
+'down town,' in Broadway. There was such a jam that I was afraid to try
+and get into one that stopped quite near the sidewalk. A policeman, at
+that moment, asked me whether I wished to get in, and, holding my arm,
+stepped over the curb with me. 'I don't know what the ladies would do
+without the aid of your corps, sometimes, in these crowds,' said I.
+
+"'If the ladies will accept our services, we are proud, madam,' answered
+he.
+
+"'I am very glad to do so,' returned I; and well I might, for, at that
+instant, as I was on the point of setting my foot on the step of the
+omnibus, the horse attached to a cart next behind suddenly started
+forward, and left no space between his head and the door of the stage. I
+shrunk back, as you may imagine, and said I would walk, in spite of the
+rain. But the policeman encouraged me, and called out to the carman to
+fall back. At that instant, I observed a gentleman come out upon the
+step of the stage. With a single imperious gesture, and the sternest
+face, he drove back the horse, and springing into the omnibus, held the
+door open with one hand, and extended the other to me. To be sure, the
+policeman almost pinched my arm in two, in his effort to keep me safe,
+but I was, at last, seated with whole bones and a grateful heart, at the
+side of my brave, kind champion. As soon as I recovered breath, I was
+curious to see again the face whose expression had arrested my attention
+(of course, I did not wait for breath to _thank_ him), and to note the
+external characteristics of a man who would impulsively render such
+service to a woman--like Charles Lamb--(dear, gentle Charles Lamb!)
+holding his umbrella over the head of a washerwoman, because she was a
+_woman_! Well, my friend was looking straight before him, apparently
+wholly unconscious of the existence of the trembling being he had so
+humanely befriended, with the most impenetrable face imaginable, and a
+sort of abstracted manner. Presently I desired to open the window behind
+me--still not quite recovered from my fright and flutter. Almost before
+my hand was on the glass, my courteous neighbor relieved me of my task.
+Again I rendered cordial thanks, and again, as soon as delicacy
+permitted, glanced furtively at the face beside me. Nothing to reward my
+scrutiny was there revealed; the same absorbed, fixed expression, the
+same seeming unconsciousness! But can you doubt that a noble, manly
+nature was veiled beneath that calm face and quiet manner--a nature that
+would gleam out in an instant, should humanity prompt, or wrong excite?
+And I could tell you numberless such anecdotes--all illustrative of my
+favorite theory."
+
+"So could we all," said another lady, "I have no doubt, if we only
+remembered them."
+
+"I never forget anything of that kind," returned Margaret. "It is to me
+like a strain of fine music, _acted poetry_, if I may use such a phrase.
+Such incidents make, for me, the _poetry of real life_, indeed! They
+inspire in my heart,
+
+    'The still, _sweet_ music of humanity.'"
+
+One magnificent moonlight night, while I was in Rome with your cousins
+and the W----s, a party was formed to visit the Coliseum. That whimsical
+creature, Grace, whom I had more than once detected in a disposition to
+fall behind the rest of the company, as we strolled slowly through the
+ruins, at length stole up to me, as I paused a little apart from the
+group, and twining her arm within mine, whispered softly:
+
+"_Do_, dear Uncle Hal, come this way with me for a few moments!"
+
+Yielding to the impulse she gave me, we were presently disengaged from
+our companions, and, leaning, as if by mutual agreement, against a
+pillar.
+
+"What a luxury it is to be quiet!" exclaimed your cousin, with a sigh of
+relief. "How that little Miss B---- _does_ chatter! Really it is
+profanation to think or speak of common things to-night, and here!"
+
+"Well, my fair Epicurean," returned I, "since
+
+    ----'Silence, like a poultice comes
+    To heal the blows of sound,'
+
+you shall reward me for my indulgence in attending you, by repeating
+some of Byron's _apropos_ lines, for me as we stand here"--
+
+"At your pleasure, dear uncle."
+
+Presently she began, in a subdued tone, as if afraid of disturbing the
+dreams of another, or as if half listening while she spoke to the tread
+of those
+
+    'Whose distant footsteps echo
+    Through the corridors of Time;'
+
+but gradually losing all consciousness, save that of the inspiration of
+the bard, our fair enthusiast reached a climax of eloquence with the
+words--
+
+                                       'The azure gloom
+    Of an Italian night, where the deep skies assume
+    Hues which have words, and speak to ye of Heaven,
+    Floats o'er this vast and wondrous monument,'--
+
+and she stretched out her arm, with an impulsive gesture, as she spoke.
+I perceived a sudden recoil, at the instant, of her dilating form, and,
+before I could devise an explanation, heard the words, "You are my
+prisoner, madam," and discovered a gentleman standing in the deep shadow
+of the pillar, close at her side, busily endeavoring to disentangle the
+fringe of her shawl from the buttons of his coat.
+
+I remembered, afterwards, having noticed in passing, sometime before, a
+shadowy figure standing with folded arms and upturned face, half lost in
+the deep shadow of a pillar, apparently quite unconscious of the
+vicinity of the chattering ephemera fluttering by his retreat. I at once
+surmised that Grace and I had approached from the other side, and
+inadvertently stationed ourselves near this aesthetical devotee--so near
+that your cousin, in the excitement of her eloquence, had fastened a
+lasso upon the dress of the stranger.
+
+"You are my prisoner, madam," he said, in French. The words were simple
+enough, not so apposite but that many an one might have uttered them
+under similar circumstances. Yet they were replete with meaning,
+conveyed by the subtle aid of intonation and of _manner_. The most
+chivalrous courtesy, the most exquisite refinement, were fully expressed
+in that brief sentence.
+
+"I have no fears either for my purse, or my life," returned the
+quick-witted lady thus addressed, aiding in the required
+disentanglement.
+
+"You need have none," rejoined the gentleman, "though the laws of
+chivalry entitle me to demand a goodly ransom for so fair a
+prize"--glancing politely towards me.
+
+"Accept, at least, the poor guerdon of this token of my thanks," said
+the enthusiast of the moment, tendering a beautiful flower, which was
+opportunely loosened from her bosom by the slight derangement of her
+dress.
+
+"It will be a treasured memento," answered the stranger, receiving the
+proffered gift with graceful respect, and, bowing with the most courtly
+deference, he walked rapidly away, as loth, by lingering one needless
+moment, to seem intrusive.
+
+"What a voice!" exclaimed Grace, as the retreating figure disappeared
+behind the fragment of a fallen column, "blithe as the matin tone of a
+lark, and"----
+
+"Clear as the note of the clarion that startled you so upon the Appian
+Way, the other day," I suggested, "and indeed, I am not sure that there
+was not a little tremor in your fingers, this time, my brave lady, and
+that you did not hold just a little tighter fast the arm of your old
+uncle."
+
+"What nonsense, Uncle Hal!--could anything be more delicately
+reassuring--admitting that I was startled, at first,--than the whole
+bearing of the gentleman?"
+
+"Should you know him again?" I questioned.
+
+"I think I should, were it only by the diamond he wore," she replied,
+with a little laugh at the woman's reason. "Did you observe it uncle, as
+his macintosh was opened by the pulling of that silly fringe--really it
+might grace the crescent of Dian herself, on a gala-night--it was a
+young star! but I also saw his face distinctly as he raised his hat."
+
+Well, now for the _denoument_ of my story--for every romantic adventure
+should properly have a _denoument_.
+
+As we were all riding on the Campagna a few days afterwards, the usual
+intimation was given of the approach of the _cortege_ of the Pope. Of
+course we went through the mummery of withdrawing, while the poor old
+man was hurried along in his airing. Standing thus together, a party of
+gentlemen rode rapidly up, and, recognizing some of our party, joined
+us.
+
+Scarcely were the usual greetings over, when Grace, reining her horse
+near me, said, in a low tone: "Uncle, there is the 'bright particular
+star' of the other night in the Coliseum; I know I am not mistaken."
+
+And so it proved--the polished, graceful stranger was not a Prince
+_incognito_, not even an acreless count, whose best claim to respect
+consisted in hereditary titles and courtly manners, but a _young
+American artist_, full of activity, enthusiasm and genius, who had not
+forgotten to give beauty to the casket, because it enshrined a gem of
+high value.
+
+_Apropos_ of gems--I afterwards learned that the superb brilliant he
+always wore on his breast was a token of the gratitude of a
+distinguished and munificent patron and friend, for whom this child of
+feeling and genius had successfully incarnated all that was earthly of
+one loved and lost.
+
+We subsequently became well acquainted with our gifted countryman, and a
+right good fellow he proved. We met him constantly in society, while at
+Florence--the Italian _Paradise of Americans_, as Miss ---- always called
+it--where his genial manners, the type of a genial nature, made him a
+general favorite, as well with natives as foreigners.
+
+Soon after he was named to me that day on the Campagna, your cousin, who
+had again moved from my side, turned her face towards us. The movement
+arrested the attention of my companion--he glanced inquiringly at me.
+
+"I think I am not mistaken, sir; have we not met before?" and the same
+exquisite courtesy illumined his face that had so impressed me
+previously. "May I ask the honor of a presentation to my sometime
+prisoner?"
+
+"Really, sir," I overheard Grace confessing, in her sprightliest tones,
+as, the two parties uniting for the nonce, we all rode on together;
+"really, sir, I remember to have been secretly rejoiced at having left
+my heart, watch, and other valuables, safely locked up at home, when I
+found myself in such a dangerous-looking neighborhood."
+
+"And _I_ still indulge the regret that my profession did not fully
+entitle me to retain possession, not only of the shawl, which, no doubt,
+was a camel's hair of unknown value, but of the embodied poetry it
+enwrapped."
+
+"You seem quite to overlook the fact that I was guarded, like a damsel
+of old, by a doughty knight."
+
+I wish I could half describe the dextrous twirl of the moustache, and
+the quickly-shadowed brow that suddenly transformed that luminous and
+honest face into that of the dark, moody brigand, as, fumbling in his
+bosom the while, as about to unsheath a dagger, he growled, in
+mock-heroic manner--"It were easy to find means to silence such an
+opponent, with such a reward in view!"
+
+The merry laugh with which Grace received this sally, proved that she,
+at least, liked the _versatility of manner_ possessed by her gallant
+attendant.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Touching the electric chain of memory, causes another link to vibrate,
+and I am reminded of my promise, made in a former letter, to tell you
+about the American girl whose beautiful arm threw Powers into raptures.
+
+You will, perhaps, recollect that I alluded to my having met abroad the
+heroine of the _cornelian pate_ anecdote. I assure you, I had ample
+occasion, more than once, to be proud of my lovely countrywoman, in the
+most distinguished European circles--and by that term I do not refer to
+distinction created by mere rank. But to my tale:
+
+One day, during our mutual sojourn in her well-named Italian "Paradise,"
+Miss ----, and her father, in accordance with a previous arrangement,
+called at my lodgings, to take me with them to a dinner at the Palace de
+----.
+
+"I propose, as we have purposely come early, Col. Lunettes, in the hope
+of finding you at leisure, that we shall drop in at Powers' studio, a
+few minutes; it is in our direct way, and he will be there, as I happen
+to know. I so wish to know your impression of papa's bust."
+
+While I was enjoying a chat with the presiding genius of the scene, a
+little apart from a group gathered about some object of peculiar
+interest, a sudden glow of enthusiasm lighted his eye, as with
+Promethean fire.
+
+"Heavens, what an arm!" exclaimed Powers. "Oh, for the art to _petrify_
+it!" he added, with an expressive gesture, the _furore_ of the artist
+rapidly enkindling.
+
+Following the direction of his glance, I beheld what might well excite
+admiration in a less discriminating spectator. The velvet mantle that
+had shrouded the gala dress of Miss ---- having fallen from her
+shoulders, disclosed the delicate beauty of the uncovered arm and hand,
+which she was eagerly extending towards the marble before her.
+
+"Remain just as you now stand, for a moment," said I, "and let me see
+what I can do for you."
+
+"Miss ----," I asked, advancing towards my fair friend, "will you let me
+invite your attention to this new study? It is entitled 'The Artist's
+Prayer,' and is supposed to impersonate the petition, 'Petrify it, O, ye
+gods!'"
+
+Of course, this led to a brief and laughing explanation.
+
+"Happily, no earthly Powers can achieve that transformation!" exclaimed
+the Lucifer of the Coliseum, who was present, "but all will join in the
+entreaty that we may be permitted to possess an _imitation_ of so
+beautiful an original."
+
+I am not permitted to disclose the secrets of the inner temple; but many
+of you will yet behold the loveliness that so charmed the lovers of art,
+moulded into eternal marble.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER VI.
+
+MANNER, CONTINUED.
+
+RULES FOR VISITING, AND FOR MANNER IN SOCIETY GENERALLY.
+
+
+MY DEAR NEPHEWS:
+
+Having attempted, in my last two letters, with what success you will
+best judge, to give you some practical hints respecting manner at home
+and in the street, suppose we take up, next, the consideration of the
+conduct proper in _Visiting_, and on public occasions, generally.
+
+Among the minor obligations of social life, perhaps few things are
+regarded as more formidable by the unpractised, than ceremonious
+_morning visits to ladies_. And perhaps, among the simple occurrences of
+ordinary existence, few serve more fully to illustrate individual tact,
+self-possession, and conversational skill.
+
+Without aiming at much method in so doing, I will endeavor to furnish
+you with a few directions of general applicability.
+
+Hours for making morning calls are somewhat varied by place and
+circumstance; but, as a rule, twelve o'clock is the earliest hour at
+which it is admissible to make a visit of ceremony. From that time until
+near the prevailing dinner-hour, in a small town, or that known to be
+such in particular instances, one may suit one's convenience.
+
+It is obviously unsuitable, usually, to prolong an interview of this
+kind beyond a very moderate length, and hence, as well as for other
+reasons, the conversation should be light, varied, and appropriate to
+outward circumstances.
+
+It is proper to send your card, not only to announce yourself to
+strangers to whom you may wish to pay your respects, but to all ladies
+with whom you are not upon very intimate terms, and at a private house,
+to designate intelligibly to the servant who receives your card, the
+individual, or the several persons, whom you wish to see.
+
+If you go to a hotel, etc., for this purpose, write the name of the lady
+or ladies, for whom your visit is designed, upon your card, _above_ your
+own name, in a legible manner, and await the return of the messenger, to
+whom you intrust it, _where you part from him_. If, upon his return, you
+are to remain for your friends, and there be a choice of apartments for
+that purpose, unless you choose to station yourself within sight of the
+stairs they must of need descend, or the corridor through which they
+must pass, let the porter in attendance distinctly understand not only
+your name, but where you are to be found, and if possible, give him some
+clue to the identification of the friends you wish to see. After a few
+vexatious mistakes and misapprehensions, you will admit the wisdom of
+these precautionary measures, I have no doubt. When you are shown into
+the drawing-room of a private residence, if the mistress of the mansion
+is present, at once advance towards her. Should she offer her hand, be
+prompt to receive it, and for this purpose, take your hat, stick, and
+right-hand glove (unless an occasion of extreme ceremony demands your
+wearing the latter), in your left hand, as you enter. If your hostess
+does not offer her hand, when she rises to receive you, simply bow, as
+you pay your compliments, and take the seat she designates, or that the
+servant places for you. When there are other ladies of the same family
+present, speak to each, in succession, according to age, or other proper
+precedence, before you seat yourself. If there are ladies in the room
+whom you do not know, bow slightly to them, also, and if you are
+introduced, after you have assumed a seat, rise and bow to them. When
+men are introduced, they usually mutually advance and shake hands; but
+the intimation that this will be agreeable to her, should always be the
+test when you are presented to a lady, or when you address a lady
+acquaintance.
+
+Some tact is necessary in deciding your movements when you find yourself
+preceded by other visitors, in making a morning call. If you have no
+special reason, as a message to deliver, or an appointment to make, for
+lingering, and discover that you are interrupting a circle, or when you
+are in the midst of strangers, where the conversation does not at once
+become general, upon your making one of them, address a few polite
+phrases to your hostess, if you can do so with ease and propriety from
+your position with regard to her, and take leave, approaching her nearly
+enough, when you rise to go, to make your adieu audible, or to receive
+her hand, should she offer it. To strangers, even when you have been
+introduced, you, ordinarily, only bow passingly, as you are about to
+quit the room.
+
+Should you have a special object in calling upon a lady, keep it
+carefully in view, that you may accomplish it before you leave her
+presence. When other visitors, or some similar circumstance, interfere
+with the accomplishment of your purpose, you may write what you wish
+upon a card in the hall, as you go out, and intrust it to a servant, or
+leave a message with him, or in case of there being objections to either
+of those methods of communication, resort to an appointment requested
+through him, or subsequently write a note to that effect, or containing
+an explanation of the object of your visit. When you determine to
+outstay others at a morning reception, upon the rising of ladies to
+depart, you rise also, under all circumstances; and when they are
+acquaintances, and unattended by a gentleman, accompany them to the
+street-door, and to their carriage, if they are driving, and then return
+to your hostess. Unacquainted, you simply stand until ladies leave the
+room, politely returning their parting salutation, if they make one. Any
+appearance of a wish on the part of those whom you chance to meet thus,
+for an _aside_ conversation, will, of course, suggest the propriety of
+occupying yourself until your hostess is at leisure, with some subject
+of interest in the room--turn to a picture, open a book, examine some
+article of _bijouterie_, and, thus civilly unobtrusive, observe only
+when it is proper for you to notice the separation of the company.
+
+As I have before said, in making a visit of mere politeness, some
+passing topic of interest should succeed the courteous inquiries, etc.,
+that naturally commence the conversation. Visiting a lady practised in
+the usages of society, relieves one, very naturally, from any necessity
+for _leading_ the conversation.
+
+When your object is to make an appointment, give an invitation, etc.,
+repeat the arrangement finally agreed upon, distinctly and deliberately,
+upon rising to go away, that both parties may distinctly understand it,
+beyond the possibility of mistake.
+
+In attending ladies who are making morning visits, it is proper to
+assist them up the steps, ring the bell, write cards, etc. Entering,
+always _follow_ them into the house and into the drawing-room, and wait
+until they have finished their salutations, unless you have to perform
+the part of presenting them. In that case, you enter with them, or stand
+within the door until they have entered, and advance beside them into
+the apartment.
+
+Ladies should always be the first to rise, in terminating a visit, and
+when they have made their adieux, their cavaliers repeat the ceremony,
+and follow them out.
+
+When gentlemen call together, the younger, or least in rank, gives
+careful precedence to others, rendering them courtesies similar to those
+due to ladies.
+
+Soiled over-shoes, or wet over-garments, should, on no account, be worn
+into an apartment devoted to the use of ladies, unless they cannot be
+safely left outside--as in the passage of a public house. In such case,
+by no means omit an apology for the necessary discourtesy.
+
+When ladies are not in the apartment where you are to pay your respects
+to them, advance to meet them upon their entrance; and in the public
+room of a hotel, meet them as near the door as possible, especially if
+there is no gentleman with them, or the room be previously occupied, and
+conduct them to seats.
+
+Never remain seated in the company of ladies with whom you are
+ceremoniously associated, while they are standing. Follow them to any
+object of interest to which they direct your attention; place a seat for
+them, if much time will be required for such a purpose; ring the bell,
+bring a book; in short, courteously relieve them from whatever may be
+supposed to involve effort, fatigue, or discomfort of any kind. It is,
+for this reason, eminently suitable to offer the arm to ladies when
+ascending stairs. Nothing is more absurd than the habit of _preceding
+them_ adopted by some men--as if by following just behind, as one
+should, if the arm is disengaged, there can be any violation of
+propriety. Soiled frills or unmended hose must have originated this
+vulgarity! Tender the arm on the wall side of a lady, mounting a stairs,
+that she may have the benefit of the railing, and the fewer steps upon a
+landing; and in assisting an invalid, or aged person, it is often well
+to keep one step in advance. It is always decorous to suit your pace to
+those you would assist.
+
+It is also a proper courtesy, always to relieve ladies of their parcels,
+parasols, shawls, etc., when ever this will conduce to their
+convenience, which is especially the case, of course, when they are
+occupied with the care of their dresses in ascending steps, entering a
+carriage, or passing through a crowd.
+
+The rules of etiquette properly observable in making ordinary
+ceremonious morning-visits, are also applicable to _Morning
+Wedding-Receptions_ with slight variations. Of course, you do not then
+announce yourself by a card. When previously acquainted with her, you
+advance immediately to the bride, and offer your _wishes for her future
+happiness_. Never _congratulate_ a lady upon her marriage; such
+felicitations are, with good taste, tendered to the bridegroom, not to
+the bride.
+
+Having paid your compliments to the bride, you shake hands with the
+groom, and bow to the bride-maids, when you know them. The mother of
+the bride should then be sought. Here, again refinement dictates the
+avoidance of too eager congratulations. While expressing a cordial hope
+that the parents have added to their prospects of future pleasure in
+receiving a new member into their family, do not insinuate, by your
+manner, the conviction that they have no natural regret at resigning
+their daughter
+
+    "To another path and guide,
+    To a bosom yet untried."
+
+It is not usual to sit down on such occasions; and it is as obviously
+unsuitable to remain long, as it is to engage the attention of those
+whom others may be waiting to approach, beyond the utterance of a few
+brief, well-chosen sentences.
+
+When you require an introduction to the bride, but are acquainted with
+her husband, you may speak first to him, and so secure a presentation.
+Usually a groomsman, or some other gentleman, is in readiness to present
+unknown visitors. In that case, should he, too, be a stranger to you,
+mention your name to him, and any little circumstance by which he may
+afford a passing theme or explanation, when he introduces you--as, that
+you are a friend of her father--promised your particular friend, her
+sister, to pay your respects, etc.
+
+On this, as in the instance of all similar occasions, tact and
+good-taste must suggest the variations of manner required by the greater
+or less degree of ceremony prevailing, and your individual relations to
+those you visit.
+
+In this connection I will add that a card may sometimes be properly made
+a substitute for paying one's respects in person--with a pencilled
+phrase of politeness, or accompanied by a note. In either case, an
+envelope of the most unexceptionable kind should be used, and a note
+written with equal attention to ceremony.
+
+A _Visit of Condolence_ is often most tastefully made by going in person
+to the residence of your friend, and leaving a courteous message, and
+your card, with a servant. Much politeness is sometimes expressed by the
+earliest possible call upon friends just arrived from a journey, etc.,
+or by leaving or sending a card, with a pencilled expression of
+pleasure, and of the intention of availing yourself of the first
+suitable moment for paying your compliments in person.
+
+Visits upon New-Year's Day should be short, as a rule, for the reasons
+before suggested, and it is not usual to sit down, except when old
+friends urge it, or when the presence of an elderly person, or an
+invalid, demands the appearance of peculiar consideration.
+
+On all occasions of ceremonious intercourse with superiors in age and
+station, one or both, manner should be regulated, as respects
+familiarity, or even cordiality, _by them_. "He approached me with
+_familiarity_, I repulsed him with _ceremony_," said a man of rank,
+alluding to an impertinence of this kind. Never be the first, under such
+circumstances, to violate the strict rules of convention. Their
+observance is often the safeguard of sensibility, as well as of
+self-respect.
+
+Simple good-taste will dictate the most quiet, unnoticeable bearing at
+_Church_. The saying of the celebrated Mrs. Chapone, that "it was part
+of her religion not to disturb the religion of others," is all
+inclusive. To enter early enough to be fully established in one's seat
+before the service commences, to attend politely, but very
+unostentatiously, to the little courtesies that may render others
+comfortable, to avoid all rude staring, and all appearance of
+inattention to the proper occupations of the occasion, as well as every
+semblance of irreverence, will occur to all well-bred persons as
+obviously required by decorum. When necessitated to go late to church,
+one should, as on all similar occasions, endeavor to disturb others as
+little as possible; but with equal studiousness avoid the vulgar
+exhibition of discomposure, of over-diffidence, or of any consciousness,
+indeed, of being observed, which so unmistakably savors of low-breeding.
+I cannot too frequently remind you that _self-possession_ is one of the
+grand distinctive attributes of a gentleman, and that it is often best
+illustrated by a simple, quiet, successful manner of meeting the
+exigencies and peculiarities of circumstances.
+
+Never wear your hat into church. Remove it in the vestibule, and on no
+account resume it until you return thither, unless health imperatively
+demands your doing so just before reaching the door opening into it.
+
+All nodding, whispering, and exchanging of glances in church, is in bad
+taste. Even the latter should not be indulged in, unless a very charming
+woman is the provoking cause of the peccadillo, and then very stealthily
+and circumspectly!
+
+Salutations, even with intimate friends, should always be very quietly
+exchanged, while one is still within the body of the sacred edifice, and
+the "outer court" of the house of God were better not the scene of
+boisterous mirth, or rude jostling. Let me add, here, that it is always
+proper, when compelled to hurry past those of right before you, at
+church, or elsewhere in a crowd, to apologize, briefly, but politely,
+for discommoding any one.
+
+Whenever you are in attendance upon ladies, as at the opera, concerts,
+lectures, etc., there is entire propriety in remaining with them in the
+seat you have paid for, or secured by early attendance. No gentleman
+should be expected to separate himself from a party to give his place to
+a lady under such circumstances, and in no country but ours would such a
+request or intimation be made. But while it is quite justifiable to
+retain the seat taken upon entering such a public place, nothing is more
+wholly inadmissible than crowding in and out of your place repeatedly,
+talking and laughing aloud, mistimed applauding, and the like. If you
+are not present for the simple purpose of witnessing the performance,
+whatever it may be, there are, doubtless, those who are; and it is not
+only exceedingly vulgar, but _immoral_, to invade their rights in this
+regard. Be careful, therefore, to secure your _libretto_, concert-bill,
+or programme, as the case may be, before assuming your seat; and when
+you have ladies with you, or are one of a party, especially, as then you
+cannot so readily accept the penalty of carelessness, by not returning
+to your first seat. Should any unforeseen necessity compel you to crowd
+past others, and afterwards resume your seat, presume as little as
+possible upon their polite forbearance, by great care of dresses, toes,
+etc., and each time politely apologize for the inconvenience you
+occasion. Let me repeat that no excuse exists for the too-frequent
+rudeness of disturbing others by fidgeting, whispering, laughing, or
+applauding out of time. And even when standing or moving about between
+the exercises, on any public occasion, or the acts at a play-house, or
+opera, well-bred people are never disregardful of the rights and comfort
+of others.
+
+In a picture-gallery, at an exhibition of marbles, etc., nothing can be
+more indicative of a want of refinement sufficient to appreciate true
+art, than the impertinence exhibited in audible comments upon the
+subjects before you, and in interfering with the enjoyment of others by
+passing before them, moving seats noisily, talking and laughing aloud,
+etc. With persons of taste and refinement, there is an almost religious
+sacredness in the presence of the creations of genius, to desecrate
+which, is as vulgar as it is irreverential of the beautiful and the
+good. Always then, carry out the most scrupulous regard of the rights
+and feelings of others, when yourself a devotee at the shrine of
+AEsthetics, by attention to the minutest forms of courtesy. This will
+dictate leaving your place the moment you rise, carrying everything with
+you belonging to you, and never stopping to shawl ladies, don an
+overcoat, or dispose of an opera-glass, until you can do so without
+interrupting the comfort of those you leave behind you.
+
+When you wish to take refreshments, or to offer them to ladies, at
+public entertainments, it is better to repair to the place where they
+are served, as a rule, unless it be in the instance of a single glass of
+water, or the like; except when a party occupy an opera-box, etc.,
+exclusively.
+
+Be careful never to attach yourself to a party of which you were not
+originally one, at any time, or place, unless fully assured of its being
+agreeable to the gentlemen previously associated with ladies; or if a
+gentleman's party only, attracts you, make yourself quite sure that no
+peccadillo be involved in your joining it, and in either case, let your
+manner indicate your remembrance of the circumstance of your properly
+standing in the relation of a _recipient_ of the civilities due to the
+occasion.
+
+Some men practically adopt the opinion that the courteous observances of
+social and domestic life are wholly inapplicable to _business
+intercourse_. A little consideration will prove this a solecism. Good
+breeding is not a thing to be put off and on with varying outward
+circumstance. If genuine, inherent, it will always exhibit itself as
+certainly as integrity, or any other unalienable quality of an
+individual. The manifestations of this characteristic by _manner_, will,
+of course, vary with occasion, but it will, nevertheless, be apparent at
+all times, and to all observers, when its legitimate influence is
+rightly understood and admitted.
+
+Hence, then, though the observance of elaborate ceremony in the more
+practical associations of busy outer life would be absurdly
+inappropriate, that careful respect for the rights and feelings of
+others, which is the basis of all true politeness, should not, under
+these circumstances, be disregarded.
+
+The secret of the superior popularity of some business men with their
+compeers and _employes_, lies often, rather in _manner_ than in any
+other characteristic. You may observe, in one instance, a universal
+favorite, to whom all his associates extend a welcoming hand, as though
+there were magic in the ready smile and genial manner, and who is served
+by his inferiors in station with cheerfulness and alacrity, indicating
+that a little more than a mere business bond draws them to him; and
+again, an upright, but externally-repulsive man, though always
+commanding respect from his compeers, holds them aloof by his frigidity,
+and receives the service of fear rather than of love from those to whom
+he may be always just, and even humane, if never sympathizing and
+unbending.
+
+As I have before remarked, there is no occasion where we are associated
+with others, that does not demand the exhibition of a polite manner.
+Thus at a _public table_, no man should allow himself to feed like a
+mere animal, wholly disregardful of those about him, and, as too
+frequently happens, forgetful of the proprieties that are observed when
+eating in private. Only at the best conducted hotels are all things so
+well and liberally appointed as to render those who meet at public
+tables wholly independent of each in little matters of comfort and
+convenience, and a well-bred man may be recognized there, as everywhere
+else, by his manner to those who may chance to be near him. He will
+neither call loudly to a servant, nor monopolize the services that
+should be divided with others. His quick eye will discern a lady alone,
+or an invalid, and his ready courtesy supply a want, or proffer a
+civility, and he will not grudge a little self-denial, or a few minutes'
+time, in exchange for the consciousness of being true to himself, even
+in trifles. Nor will he _ever_ eat as though running a race of life and
+death with Time! Health and decency will alike prompt him to abstain
+wholly from attempting to take a meal, rather than assimilate himself to
+a ravenous brute, to gratify his appetite. Let no plea of want of time
+ever induce you, I entreat, to acquire the American habit of thus eating
+in public. Even in the compulsatory haste of travelling, there is no
+valid excuse for this unhealthy and disgusting practice. And, with
+regard to daily life at one's hotel, or the like, the man who is
+habitually regardful of the value and right use of time, may well and
+wisely permit himself the simple indulgence and relaxation of _eating
+like a gentleman_!
+
+While on this subject, permit me to remind you of the impropriety of
+staring at strangers, listening to conversation in which you have no
+part, commenting audibly upon others, laughing and talking boisterously,
+etc., etc. Let not even admiration tempt you to put a modest woman out
+of countenance, by a too fixed regard, nor let her even suspect that a
+nod, a shrug, a significant whisper or glance had her for their object.
+Good-breeding requires one to hear as little as possible of the
+conversation of strangers, near whom he may chance to be seated. We
+quietly ignore their presence (as they should ours), unless some
+exigency demands a courtesy; but we do not disturb our neighbors by
+vociferousness, even in the height of merriment, however harmless in
+itself.
+
+Should a lady, even though an entire stranger, be entering an
+eating-hall alone, or attended by another gentleman, at the same moment
+with yourself, give precedence to her, with a slight bow; and so, when
+quitting the room, as well as to your acknowledged superiors in age or
+position generally, and carefully avoid such self-engrossment as shall
+engender inattention to their observances. So, too, when meeting a lady
+on a public stairs, or in a passage-way, give place sufficiently to
+allow her to pass readily, touching your hat at the same moment. In the
+same manner remove a chair, or other obstacle that obstructs the way of
+a lady in a hotel parlor, or on a piazza; avoid placing a seat so as to
+crowd a lady, encroach upon a party, or compel you to sit before others.
+
+I admit that these are the _minutiae_ of manners, my dear fellows; but
+attention to them will increase your self-respect, and give elevation to
+your general character, just in proportion as _self_ is subdued, and the
+baser propensities of our nature kept habitually in subserviency to the
+nobler qualities illustrated by habitual good-breeding.
+
+But to return. Though the circumstances must be peculiar that sanction
+your addressing a lady with whom you are unacquainted, in a public
+parlor, or the like, you are not required by convention to appear so
+wholly unconscious of her presence as to retain your seat just in front
+of the only fire in the room on a cold day, in the only comfortable
+chair, or a place so near the only airy window on a hot one, as to
+preclude her approach to it. Nor are you bound to sit in one seat and
+keep your legs across another, on the deck of a steamer, in a railroad
+car, in a tavern, at a public exhibition, while women _stand_ near you,
+compelled by your _not knowing_ them! Let me hope, too, that no kinsman
+of mine will ever feel an inclination, when appealed to for information
+in some practical emergency, by one of the dependent sex, to repulse her
+with laconic coldness, though the appeal should chance when he is
+hurrying along the public highway of life, or through the most secluded
+of its by-paths.
+
+Few young men, I must believe, ever remember when in a large hotel, at
+night, with their companions, that--opening into the corridors through
+which they tramp like a body of mounted cavalry upon a foray, with
+appropriate musical accompaniments--may be the apartments of the weary
+and the sick; or, that, separated from the room in which they prolong
+their nocturnal revels, by only the thinnest of partitions, lies a timid
+and lonely woman, shrinking and trembling more and more nervously at
+each successive burst of mirth and song, or worse, that effectually robs
+her of repose. Yet Sir Walter Raleigh, or Sir Philip Sidney, might,
+perchance, have thought even such a trifling peccadillo not
+un-note-worthy.
+
+The same general rules that are applicable to manner in public places,
+at hotels, etc., are almost equally so in _travelling_, modified only by
+circumstances and good sense.
+
+A due consideration for the rights and feelings of others, will be a
+better guide to true politeness than a whole battery of
+conventionalisms. Courtesy to ladies, to age, to the suffering, will
+here, as ever, mark the true gentleman, as well as that habitual
+refinement which interdicts the offensive use of tobacco, where women
+sit or stand, or any other slovenliness or indecorum.
+
+Under such circumstances, as many others in real life, never let cold
+ceremony deter you from rendering a real service to a fellow-being,
+though you readily avail yourself of its barriers to repel impertinence
+or vulgarity. It is authentically recorded of one of the loyal subjects
+of the little crowned lady over the ocean, that, as soon as he was
+restored to the privileges of civilization, after having been cast away
+upon a desert island with only one other person, he at once challenged
+his companion in misfortune for having spoken to him, during their
+mutual exile, without an introduction!
+
+Should you indulge in any skepticism respecting the literal truthfulness
+of this historical record, I can personally vouch for the following: Our
+eccentric and unhappy countryman, the gifted poet, P----, was once,
+while travelling, roused from a moody and absorbing reverie, by the
+address of a stranger, who said: "Sir, I am Mr. W----, the author--you
+have no doubt heard of me." The dreamy eye of the contemplative
+solitaire lighted with a sudden fire, as he deliberately scrutinized the
+intruder, then quickly contracting each feature so that his physiognomy
+changed at once to a very respectable imitation of a spy-glass, he
+coolly inquired: "_Who the devil did you say you are?_"
+
+Practice and tact combined, can alone give a man ease and grace of
+manner amid the varying demands of social life, but systematic attention
+to details will soon simplify whatever may seem formidable in regard to
+it. No one but a fool or a monomaniac goes on stumbling through his
+allotted portion of existence, when he may easily learn to go without
+stumbling at all, or only occasionally.
+
+Thus, after experiencing the embarrassment of keeping ladies, with whom
+you have been driving in a hired carriage, standing in the rain, or sun,
+or in a jostling crowd, while you are waiting for change to pay your
+coach, or submitting to extortion, or searching for your purse, you
+will, perhaps, resolve, when you are next so circumstanced, to ascertain
+before-hand, if possible, exactly what you should lawfully pay, to have
+your money ready before reaching your final destination, and to leave
+the ladies seated in quiet while you alight, pay your fare and then
+secure shawls, etc., and make every other arrangement and inquiry that
+will facilitate their speedy and comfortable transit from the carriage.
+
+Thus much for _manner in public_.
+
+Now then, a few words relative to the bearing proper in social
+intercourse, and I will release you.
+
+In the character of _Host_, much is requisite that would be unsuitable
+elsewhere, since the youngest and most modest man must, of necessity,
+then take the lead. Thus, when you have guests at dinner, some care and
+tact are required in the simple matter, even, of disposing of your
+visitors with due regard to proper precedents. Of course, when there are
+only men present, you desire him whom you wish to distinguish, to
+conduct the mistress of the mansion to the table, and are, yourself, the
+last to enter the dining-room. When there are ladies, the place of honor
+accorded to age, rank, or by some temporary relative circumstance, is
+designated as being at your right hand, and you precede your other
+guests, in attendance upon such a lady. A stranger lady, for whom an
+entertainment is given, should be met by her host before she enters the
+drawing-room, and conducted to the hostess. A gentleman, under similar
+circumstances, must be received at the door of the reception-room. In
+both instances, introductions should at once be given to those who are
+_invited to meet such guests_.
+
+Persons living in large cities may, if they possess requisite pecuniary
+means, always procure servants so fully acquainted with the duties
+properly belonging to them as to relieve themselves, when they have
+visitors, from all attention to the details of the table. But it is only
+in the best appointed establishments that hospitality does not enjoin
+some regard to these matters. It may be unfashionable to keep an eye to
+the comfort of one's friends, when we are favored with their company, to
+consult their tastes, to humor their peculiarities, to convince them,
+by a thousand nameless acts of consideration and deference, that we have
+pleasure in rendering them honor due;--this may not be in strict
+accordance with the cold ceremony of modern fashion, but it, nevertheless,
+illustrates one of the most beautiful of characteristics--one ranked
+by the ancients as a _virtue_--Hospitality!
+
+Permit me, also, to remind you that sometimes the most worthy people are
+not high-bred--not familiar with conventional proprieties; that they
+even have a dread of them, on account of this ignorance; and that they
+are, therefore, not fit subjects towards whom to display strict
+ceremony, or from whom to expect it. But always remember, that, though
+they may not understand conventionalisms, they will fully appreciate
+genuine _kindness_, the talismanic charm that will always place the
+humblest and most self distrustful guest at ease. And never let a
+vulgar, degrading fear of compromising your claims to gentility, tempt
+you to the inhumanity of wounding the feelings of the humblest of your
+humble friends!
+
+If you have a large rout at your house, it will, necessarily, be
+impossible for you to render special attention to each guest; but you
+should, notwithstanding, quietly endeavor to promote the enjoyment of
+the company, by bringing such persons together as are best suited to the
+appreciation of each other's society, by drawing out the diffident,
+tendering some civility to an elderly, or particularly unassuming
+visitor, and, in short, by a manner that, without in any degree savoring
+of over-solicitude, or bustling self-importance, shall save you from a
+fate similar to that of a gentleman of whom I lately read the following
+anecdote:
+
+A stranger at a large party, observing a gentleman leaning upon the
+corner of a mantel-piece, with a peculiarly melancholy expression of
+countenance, accosted him thus:--"Sir, as we both seem to be entire
+strangers to all here, suppose we both return home?" He addressed his
+_host_!
+
+In general society, do not let your pleasure in the conversation of one
+person whom you may chance to meet, or your being attached to a pleasant
+party, tempt you to forget the respect due to other friends, who may be
+present. Married ladies, whose hospitalities you have shared, strangers
+who possess a claim upon you, through your relations with mutual
+friends, gentlemen whose politeness has been socially extended to you,
+should never be rudely overlooked, or discourteously neglected. Such a
+manner would indicate rather a vulgar eagerness for selfish enjoyment
+than the collected self-possession, the well-sustained good-breeding, of
+a _man of the world_. Do not let a sudden attack of the modesty suitable
+to youth and insignificance, induce you to regard those proprieties as
+of no importance in your particular case--exclaiming, "What's Hecuba to
+me, or I to Hecuba?" Believe me, no one is so unimportant as to be
+unable to give pleasure by politeness; and no one having a place in
+society, has a right to self-abnegation in this respect.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Husband, do you know a young Mr. V----, in society here--a lawyer, I
+think?" inquired a lady-friend of mine, of a distinguished member of the
+Legislature of our State, with whom I was dining, at his hotel.
+
+"V----? That I do! and a right clever fellow he is:--why, my dear?"
+
+"Oh, nothing, I met him somewhere the other morning, and was struck with
+his pleasing manners. This morning I was really indebted to his
+politeness. You know how slippery it was--well, I had been at Mrs.
+S----'s reception, and was just hesitating on the top of the steps, on
+coming away, afraid to call the man from his horses, and fearful of
+venturing down alone, when Mr. V---- ran up, like a chamois-hunter, and
+offered his assistance. He not only escorted me to the sleigh, but
+tucked up the furs, gave me my muff, and inquired for your health with
+such good-humor and cordiality as really quite won my heart!"
+
+"I should be exceedingly jealous, were it not that he made exactly the
+same impression upon me, a few evenings before you joined me here. It
+was at Miss T----'s wedding. Of course, I had a card of invitation to
+the reception, after the ceremony, but, disliking crowds as I do, and as
+you were not here, I decided not to go.--The truth is, Colonel, [turning
+to me] we backwoodsmen are a little shy of these grand state occasions
+of ceremony and parade."--
+
+"Backwoodsmen, as you are pleased to term them, sometimes confer far
+more honor upon such occasions than they upon him," returned I.
+
+"You are very polite, sir. Well, as I was saying, in the morning I met
+the bride's father, who was one of my early college friends, in the
+street, and he urged me, with such old-fashioned, hearty cordiality to
+come, that I began to think the homely charm of _hospitality_ might not
+be wholly lacking, even at a fashionable entertainment, in this most
+fashionable city. So the upshot of the matter was my going, though with
+some misgivings about my _court-costume_, as my guardian-angel had
+deserted me." Really, boys, I wish you could have seen the chivalrous
+courtesy that lighted the fine eye and shone over the manner of the
+speaker, as, with these last words, he bowed to the fair companion of
+his life for something like half a century.
+
+"You forget, my dear," rejoined the lady, as a soft smile, and a softer
+blush stole over her still beautiful face, "that Mrs. M---- wrote me you
+were quite the lion of the occasion, and that half the young ladies
+present, including the bride herself, were"--
+
+"My dear! I cry you mercy!--Bless my soul!--an old fellow like me!"----
+
+"But K----, my dear friend," I exclaimed, "don't be personal"----
+
+"Lunettes, you were always, and still are, irresistible with the ladies,
+but--you are _an exception_."
+
+"I protest!" cried Mrs. K----, joining in our laughter, "Mr. Clay, to
+his latest day, was in high favor with ladies, young and old--there was
+no withstanding the _charm of his manner_. At Washington, one winter
+that I spent there, wherever I met him, he was encircled by the fairest
+and most distinguished of our sex, all seeming to vie with each other
+for his attentions--and this was not because of his political rank, for
+others in high position did not share his popularity;--it was his grace,
+his courtesy, his _je ne sais quoi_, as the French say."
+
+"Mr. Clay was as remarkable for quiet self-possession and tact, in
+social as in public life," said I. "When I had the honor to be his
+colleague, I often had occasion to observe and admire both. I remember
+once being a good deal amused by a little scene between him and a Miss
+----, then a reigning belle at Washington, and a great favorite of Mr.
+Clay's. Returning late one night from the Capitol, excessively fatigued
+by a long and exciting debate, in which he had borne an active part, he
+dropped into the ladies' parlor of our hotel, on his way up stairs,
+hoping, I dare say, Mrs. K., to enjoy the soothing influence of gentler
+smiles and tones than those he had left. The room was almost deserted,
+but, ensconced in one corner of a long, old-fashioned sofa, sat Miss
+----, reading. His keen eye detected his fair friend in a moment, and
+his lagging step quickened as he approached her. A younger and handsomer
+man might well have envied the warm welcome he received. After sitting a
+moment beside the lady, Mr. Clay said, abruptly:--
+
+"'Miss ----, what is your definition of true politeness?'
+
+"'Perfect ease,' she replied.
+
+"'I have the honor to agree with you, madam, and, with your entire
+permission, will take leave to assume the correctness of _this
+position_!' As he spoke, with a dextrous movement, the statesman
+disposed a large cushion near Miss ----'s end of the sofa, and
+simultaneously, down went his head upon the cushion, and up went his
+heels at the other extreme of the sofa! But, my dear fellow, we are
+losing your adventures at the great wedding party, all this time"----
+
+"Very true, my dear," added Mrs. K----, wiping her eyes, "you fell in
+love with Mr. V----, you know"--
+
+"Oh, yes," returned my host, "I did, indeed; but I had no adventures, in
+particular. V---- was one of the _aids-de-camp_, on the occasion, as I
+knew by the white love-knot (what is the fashionable name, wife?) he
+wore on his breast. He was in the hall when I came down stairs, to act
+in his office of groomsman. Upon seeing me, he advanced, and asked
+whether he could be of any service to me. I explained, while I drew on
+my gloves, that I did not know the bride, and feared that even her
+mother might have forgotten an early friend. His young eyes found the
+button of my glove quicker than mine, and as he released my hand, he
+said, showing a sad rent in his own, "you are fortunate in not having
+split them, sir,--but you _gentlemen of the old school_," he added with
+a respectful bow, "always surpass us youngsters in matters of dress, as
+well as everything else." As he said this, the young rogue glanced
+politely over my plain black suit, and offered me his arm as
+deferentially as though I had been an Ex-President, at least; and so on,
+throughout the evening, with apparent _unconsciousness of self_. I
+should have thought him wholly devoted to my enjoyment of everything and
+everybody, had I not observed that others, equally, or more, in need of
+his attention than I, shared his courtesy--from an elderly lady in a
+huge church-tower of a cap, who seemed fearfully exercised less she
+should not secure her full share of the wedding-cake boxes, to one of
+the little sisters of the bride, who clung to her dress and sobbed as if
+her heart must break--all seemed to like him and _depend_ on him."
+
+"I have not the pleasure of Mr. V----'s acquaintance," said I, "but I
+prophesy that _he will succeed in life_!"
+
+"Yes, and make friends at every step!" responded Mrs. K----, warmly.
+"After we parted this morning, I had an agreeable sort of
+half-consciousness that something pleasant had happened to me, and when
+I analised the feeling, Wordsworth's lines seemed to have been
+impersonated to me:--
+
+    'A face with gladness overspread!
+    Soft smiles, by human kindness bred!
+    And seemliness complete, that sways
+    Thy courtesies, about thee plays!'"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I have known few persons with as exquisite aesthetical perceptions as my
+lovely friend Minnie. So I promised myself great pleasure in taking her
+to see Cole's celebrated series of pictures--THE COURSE OF TIME. It was
+soon after Cole's lamented death; and, as Minnie had been some time
+living where she was deprived of such enjoyments, she had never seen
+these fine pictures.
+
+As we drove along towards the Art Union Gallery, the fair enthusiast was
+all eager expectation. "How often my kind friend Mr. S---- B. R----,
+used to talk to me of Cole," said she, "and promise me the pleasure of
+knowing him. When he died I felt as though I had lost a dear friend, as
+I had indeed, for all who worship art, have a friend in each child of
+genius."
+
+"Cole was emphatically one of these," returned I, "as his conceptions
+alone prove."
+
+"Yes, indeed," replied Minnie, "I always think of him as the
+_poet-painter_, since I saw his first series--the 'Progress of Empire.'
+Only a poet's imagination could conceive his subjects."
+
+I placed my sweet friend in the most favorable position for enjoying
+each picture in succession, and seated myself at her side, rather for
+the gratification of listening to the low murmurs of delight that should
+be breathed by her kindred soul, than to view the painter's skill, as
+that no longer possessed the attraction of novelty for me.
+
+We had just come to the sublime portraiture of "_Manhood_," and Minnie
+seemed wholly absorbed in her own thoughts and imaginings. Suddenly a
+silly giggle broke the charmed stillness. The Devotee of the Beautiful
+started, as if abruptly awakened from a dream, and a slight shiver ran
+through her sensitive frame.
+
+Turning, I perceived, standing close behind us, a group of young
+persons, chattering and laughing, and pointing to different parts of the
+picture before us. Their platitudes were not, perhaps, especially
+stupid, nor were they more noisy and rude than I have known _free-born
+republicans_ before, under somewhat similar circumstances; but poor
+Minnie endured absolute torture; her idealized delight vanished before a
+coarse reality. I well remember the imploring and distressed look with
+which she whispered: "Let us go, dear Colonel;" and one glance at her
+pale face satisfied me that the spell was irrevocably broken for her,
+and that her long anticipated "joy," in beholding "a thing of beauty"
+had indeed been cruelly alloyed.
+
+If my memory serves me aright, I told you something, in a former letter,
+of an interesting lady, a friend of mine, whose husband was shot all to
+pieces in the Mexican War, and after lying for many months in an almost
+hopeless condition, finally so far recovered as to be removed to the
+sea-board, to take ship for New Orleans. When informed of this, his
+beautiful young wife--a belle, a beauty, and the petted idol of a large
+family circle before her marriage--set out, at mid-winter, accompanied
+by one of her brothers and taking with her the infant-child, whom its
+soldier-father had never seen, to meet her husband on his homeward
+route. This explanation will render intelligible the following incident,
+which she herself related to me.
+
+"My brother remained with us some time at New Orleans," said the fair
+narrator; "but, as Ernest began to improve, I entreated him to return
+home, as both his business and his family demanded his attention; and
+you know, Colonel Lunettes," she added, with a sad smile, "that a
+_soldier's wife_ must learn to be brave, for her own sake as well as for
+his. Ernest had with him an excellent, faithful servant, who was fully
+competent to such service as I could not render, and my little boy's
+nurse was with me, of course. So we made our homeward journey by slow
+stages, but with less suffering to my husband than we could have hoped,
+and I grew strong as soon as we were re-united, and felt adequate to
+anything, almost."
+
+The fair young creature added the last word with the same mournful smile
+that had before flitted over her sweet face, and as if rather in reply
+to the doubtful expression she read in my countenance, than from any
+remembrance of having failed, in the slightest degree, in the task of
+which she spoke.
+
+"On the night of our arrival at A----, however," pursued Mrs. V----, "we
+seemed to reach such a climax of fatigue and trial, as to make further
+endurance literally impossible for poor Ernest. Our little child had
+been taken ill the day before, so that I could not devote myself so
+entirely to him as I could have wished; and, as we drew near home, his
+impatience seemed to increase the pain of his wounds, so that, on this
+evening, he was almost exhausted both in body and mind. We stopped at
+the D---- House, as being nearest the depot, which was a great point
+with us; but such a comfortless, shiftless place!"----
+
+"An abominable hole!" I ejaculated; "one never gets anything fit to eat
+there!"
+
+"That was the least of our difficulties," returned the lady, "as we had
+to leave our man-servant to look after our luggage, it was with great
+difficulty that my poor husband was assisted up stairs into the public
+parlor, and he almost fainted while I gave a few hurried directions
+about a room. Such a scene as it was! The poor baby, weary and sleepy,
+began to cry for mamma, and nurse had as much as she could do with the
+care of him. Ernest had sunk down upon the only sofa in the room--a
+huge, heavy machine of a thing, that looked as though never designed to
+be moved from its place against the wall. I gave my husband a
+restorative, but in vain. He grew so ghastly pale that"----a sob here
+choked the utterance of the speaker.
+
+"My dear child," said I, taking her hand, "do not say another word; I
+cannot forgive myself for asking you these particulars--all is well
+now--do not recall the past!"
+
+"Excuse me, dear Colonel, I _wish_ to tell you, I want you to know, how
+we were treated by a brute in human form--to ask you whether you could
+have believed in the existence of such a being--so utterly destitute of
+common politeness, not to say humanity."
+
+"I hope no one who could aid you, in this extremity, failed to do so."
+
+"You shall hear. Ernest was shivering with cold, as well as exhaustion,
+and whispered to me that he would try to sit by the fire until the room
+was prepared. I looked round the place for an easy-chair; there was but
+one, and that was occupied by a man who was staring at us, as though we
+were curiosities exhibited for his especial benefit."
+
+"'Ernest,' said I aloud, 'you are too weak to sit in one of these chairs
+without arms, and with nothing to support your head.'
+
+"'I will try, love,' he replied, 'for I am so cold!'
+
+"'I will ask that man for his chair,' I whispered. Poor Ernest! his
+eyes flashed. 'No! No!' said he, 'if he has not the decency to offer it,
+you shall not speak to him!'
+
+"Of course, I would not irritate him by opposition, but placed an
+ordinary chair before the fire, and, supporting him into it, held his
+head on my shoulder, while I chafed his benumbed hands. In the
+meanwhile, the wail of the baby did not help to quiet us, nor to shorten
+the time of waiting; and it seemed as if John would never make his
+appearance, nor the room I had ordered be prepared. By my direction,
+nurse rang the bell. I inquired of the very placid individual who
+answered it, whether the room was ready for us, and upon being told that
+they were making the fire, entreated the emblem of serenity to hasten
+operations, and at once to bring me a cup of hot tea. Minutes seemed
+hours to me, as you may suppose, and the dull eyes that were fastened
+upon us from the centre of the stuffed chair, I so longed for, really
+made me nervous. I felt as though it might be some horrid ghoul, rather
+than anything human, thus looking upon our misery. 'Good G----, Lu!'
+said Ernest, at last, 'isn't the bed ready yet?'
+
+"I could bear it no longer. Gently withdrawing my support from the
+weary, weary head, I flew to my boy, snatched him from nurse, and
+signifying my design to her, we united our powers, and, laying baby on
+the sofa, we succeeded in pushing it up to the side of the fire-place.
+Then, while I hushed the child on my breast, we piled up our wrappings
+and placed my husband upon the couch, so as to rest his poor wounded
+frame (you know, Colonel, his spine was injured). The groan, half of
+relief and half of torture, that broke from his lips, as he rested his
+head, was like to be the 'last straw' that broke my heart--but the
+soldier's wife! How often did I repeat to myself, during that long
+journey:
+
+    'Remember thou'rt a _soldier's wife_,
+    Those tears but ill become thee!'
+
+"Well! by this time, John made his appearance, and, consigning his
+master temporarily to his care, I took nurse with me, and went to see
+what a woman's ready hand could do in expediting matters elsewhere. When
+showed to the room we were expected to occupy, I found it so filled with
+smoke, and so dreadfully cold, as to be wholly uninhabitable, and in
+despair sent for the steward, or whoever he was, to whom I had given
+directions at first. No other room with two beds could be secured. By
+the glimmering light of the small lamp in the hand of the Irishman, who
+was laboring with the attempt at a fire, I investigated a little; the
+smouldering coals belched forth volumes of smoke into my face. Nothing
+daunted by this ('twas not the 'smoke of battle,' though I felt as
+though in the midst of a conflict of life and death), I bade the man
+remove the blower. Behold the draught closed by the strip of stone
+sometimes used for that purpose, after a hard coal fire is fully
+ignited! I think, Colonel, you would have admired the laconic,
+imperiously cool tone and manner with which I speedily effected the
+removal of the entire mass of cold hard coal, substituted for it, light,
+dry wood, and covering up my boy, as he still rested in my arms,
+dissipated the smoke that contended with the close, shut-up sort of air
+in the room, for disagreeability, by opening the windows, had the most
+comfortable looking of the beds drawn near the fire, and opened to air
+and warm, ordered up the trunks we wanted, opened them, hung a warm
+flannel dressing-gown near the fire, placed his slippers and everything
+else Ernest would want just _where_ they would be wanted, near the best
+chair I could secure, and the table that was to receive his supper when
+he should be ready for it, and, in short _put the matter through_, as
+Ernest would say, with the speed of desperation. It was wonderful how
+quickly all this, and more, was effected by the people about me chiefly
+through my ability to tell them exactly what to do and how to do it.
+Excuse me if I boast; it was the deep calmness of despair that inspired
+me! _Now_ I can smile at the look of blank amazement with which Paddy
+received my announcement of the necessity of taking out all the coals
+from the grate, before he could hope to kindle a fire, and the stare of
+the _man of affairs_ for the D---- House, as he entered upon the field
+of my efforts to say that tea was ready."
+
+"There is but one step from the sublime to the ridiculous!" I exclaimed,
+laughing, in spite of my sympathy with my fair friend. "And what became
+of the barbarian in the large chair?"
+
+"Oh, when I returned to the parlor to have Ernest removed to our own
+room, there he sat, still, lolling comfortably back in his chair, with
+his hat on, and his feet laid up before him, and apparently as much
+occupied as ever in staring at the strangers, and no more
+
+    'On hospitable thoughts intent'
+
+than when I quitted the room, the horrid ghoul! I was so rejoiced to
+escape with my treasures safe from his blighting gaze! But now for the
+_moral_ of my story, dear Colonel, for every story has its moral, I
+suppose,--John, Ernest's man, told nurse, who, by the way, was so highly
+indignant on the occasion, as to assure me afterwards, that if she had
+been a man, she'd have just pitched the selfish brute beast out of the
+chair, and taken it for Mr. V----, without so much as a 'by your
+leave.'"----
+
+I could not refrain from interrupting Mrs. ---- to say that I thought I
+should have been sorely tempted to some such act myself, under the
+circumstances.
+
+"Yes," pursued Mrs. V----, "nurse still recurs to that 'awful cold night
+in A----' with an invariable malediction upon the '_bad speret_ as kept
+the chair.' But, as I was saying, John told her afterwards that the
+ghoul asked him who that sick gentleman was, and said that his wife
+appeared to be in so much trouble that he should have offered to help
+her along a little, but he _wasn't acquainted with her_!"
+
+"Uncle Hal, isn't an artist _a gentleman_?" inquired Blanche of me one
+morning, during a recent visit to our great Commercial Metropolis, as
+the newspaper writers call it. "What do you mean, child," said I, "you
+cannot mean to ask whether artists _rank as gentlemen_ in society, for
+that does not admit of question." I saw there was something troubling
+her, the moment she came down, for she did not welcome her old uncle
+with her usual sparkling smile, though she snugged close up to me on the
+sofa, and kept my hand in both of hers, while we were arranging some
+matters about which I had called.
+
+"Is not an _engraver_ an artist?" she inquired, with increased
+earnestness of tone. "Does not an engraver who has a large _atelier_,
+numbers of _employes_, and does all kinds of beautiful prints, heads,
+and landscapes, and elegant figures, take rank in social life with other
+gentlemen?"
+
+"Certainly, my dear; but tell me what you are thinking of; what troubles
+you my child?"
+
+"Well, you remember, dear uncle, perhaps, the young orphan boy in whom
+papa and all of us used to be so interested the summer you spent with
+us, long ago, when we were all children at home. He is now established
+in this city, after years of struggle with difficulties that would have
+crushed a less noble spirit, and his sisters, for whom he has always
+provided, in a great degree, though at the cost of almost incredible
+self-denial, as I happen to know, are now nearly prepared for teachers.
+We have always retained our interest in them all; and they always make
+us a visit when they are at D----. Indeed, papa always says he knows few
+young men for whom he entertains so high a regard; and I am sure he is
+very good-looking, and though he may not be very fashionable,--you
+needn't smile, uncle Hal, I"----
+
+"My dear, I am charmed with your sketch, and shall go, at once, and have
+my old visage engraved by your handsome artist-friend; and when I
+publish my auto-biography, it shall be accompanied by a 'portrait of the
+author,' superbly engraved by a 'celebrated artist.'"
+
+"He _is_ celebrated, uncle, really; you have no idea of the vast number
+of orders he has from all parts of the country, nor how beautifully he
+gets up everything. But I must tell you," proceeded the sensitive little
+thing, with more cheerfulness, for I had succeeded in my design of
+cheering her up a little--"Mr. Zousky--Henry, as we always call him, has
+been engraving the head of one of our friends at home for a literary
+affair--some biographical book, or something of that sort, and he came
+up to show me one of the 'first impressions,' as I think he calls them,
+and to bring a message from his sister, last evening--wishing me to
+'_criticise_,' he told me, as he had nothing but rather an indifferent
+daguerreotype to copy from. It was just before tea that he
+called--because he is busy all day, I suppose, and perhaps, he thought
+he should be sure of finding me, then. Indeed, he said something about
+fearing to intrude later, when there might be other visitors--he is the
+most sensitive and unobtrusive being! Well, just as we were having a
+nice little chat about old times at D----, cousin Charles came home and
+came into the parlor. Of course, he knows Henry very well, for he has
+seen him often and often at our house, when he used to be there in
+vacations with my brothers; and, indeed, once before Henry came here to
+live, was one of a party of us, who went to his little studio, to see
+his self-taught paintings and sketches. When he entered the room, I
+said, 'cousin Charles, our friend Mr. Zousky does not need an
+introduction to you, I am sure.' I cannot describe his manner. I did not
+so much mind its being cold and indifferent, but it was not that of _an
+equal_--of one gentleman to another, and without sitting down, even for
+a moment, he walked back to the dining-room, and I heard him ask the
+servant whether tea was ready. Henry rose in a moment, and took my hand
+to say good-bye--oh, uncle, I cannot tell you how hurt I was! His voice
+was as low and gentle as ever, but his face betrayed him! I know he
+noticed cousin Charles' manner. I was determined that he should not go
+away so; so I didn't get up, but drew him to a seat by me on the sofa,
+and said that he must not go yet, unless he had an engagement, for that
+I had not half done telling him what I wished, and rattled on, hardly
+knowing what I _did_ say, for I was so grieved and mortified. He said he
+would come again, as it was my tea-time, but I insisted that my tea was
+of no consequence, and that I much preferred talking to a friend--all
+the while hoping that either cousin Maria or cousin Charles would come
+and invite him to take tea. Presently I heard cousin Maria come down,
+and then the glass doors were closed between the rooms, and I knew they
+were at tea. Why, uncle Hal, papa would no more have done such a thing
+in _his_ house, than he would have robbed some one! What! wound the
+feelings of any one for fear of not being '_genteel!_' that's the word,
+I suppose--I hear cousin Maria use it very often! We were always taught
+by dear mamma, while she lived, to be particularly polite and attentive
+to those who might not be as happy or prosperous as ourselves. She used
+to say that fashionable and distinguished people were the least likely
+to observe those things, but that the sensitive and self-distrustful
+were apt to be almost morbidly alive to every indication of neglect.
+'Never brush rudely by the human sensitive plant, my dears,' she used to
+say, 'lest you should bruise the tender leaves; and never forget that it
+most needs the _sunshine of smiles_!' Dear mamma! she used to be so
+polite to Henry--not _patronizing_, but so friendly, so
+considerate--always she put him at ease when there was other company at
+our house (though he never came in when he knew there were other
+visitors), and she used to do so many kind things to assist his first
+efforts in his art! I only hope he understood that _I_ have no rights
+here. I am sure I _feel_ that I have not! But I would rather be treated
+a hundred times over again as I was last night, myself, than to have
+Henry's feelings wounded; still, I must say that I should not think,
+because she happened to be detained past the exact tea-hour, of sending
+away the tea-things and keeping cold slops in a pitcher for any guest in
+_my_ house, if I had one"----
+
+"Hush, Blanche! I never heard you talk so indiscreetly before!"
+
+"Well, I don't care! Papa _made_ me come here to stay, because he said
+they had visited us, and came out to Bel's wedding, and all; but I do so
+wish I was at the St. Nicholas with you and the Clarks, uncle, dear!
+Cousin Charles ain't like himself since he married his fashionable New
+York wife; even when he comes to pa's he isn't, though _there_ he throws
+off his cold, ceremonious manner somewhat. But I really feel as if I was
+in a straight-jacket here!"
+
+"Why, Blanche, what's the trouble? I am sure everything is very elegant
+and fashionable here!"
+
+"Yes, too elegant and fashionable for poor little me! I am not used to
+that, and don't care for it. I'd rather have a little more friendliness
+and sociability than all the splendor. I am constantly reminded of my
+utter insignificance; and you know, uncle, poor Blanche is spoiled, as
+you often say, and not used to being reduced to a mere nonentity!"
+
+With this the silly child actually began to cry, and when I tried to
+soothe her, only sobbed out, in broken words: "I wouldn't be such a
+goose as to mind it, if Henry Zousky had not been treated so so,
+so--_so--fash-ion-a-bly_!"
+
+Looking over some letters from a sprightly correspondent of mine, the
+other day, I laid aside one from which I make the following extract, as
+apposite to my subject:
+
+"You asked me to give you some account of the social position, etc., and
+an idea of the husband of your former favorite, M---- S----. 'What is
+Dr. J---- like?' you inquire:--Like nothing in heaven above, or in the
+earth beneath, I answer; and, therefore, he might be worshipped without
+a violation of the injunction of the Decalogue! How such a vivacious
+creature as M---- S---- came to tie herself for life to such a mule,
+passes my powers of solution. Dr. J---- is very accomplished in his
+profession, for a young man, I hear, and much respected for his
+professional capacity--but socially he is--_nothing!_--the merest cipher
+conceivable! A man may be _very quiet_ at home, now-a-days, and yet pass
+muster; but there are times when he _must act_, as it seems to me; but
+M----'s husband seems to be a _man of one idea_, and that never,
+seemingly, suggests the duties of host. But you shall judge for
+yourself.--While I was in A----, we were all invited there one evening,
+to meet a bride, an old friend of M----'s, stopping in town on her
+marriage tour. M---- said it was too early in the season for a large
+party, and that we were expected quite _en famille_; but it was, in
+reality, quite an occasion, nevertheless, as the bride and her party
+were fashionable Bostonians. I happened to be near the hostess, when
+_the_ guests of the evening entered. She received them with her usual
+_Frenchy_ ease and playfulness of manner, and it seemed that the
+gentleman was an old friend of hers, but did not know her husband. He
+expressed the hope that Dr. J----'s professional duties would not
+deprive them of his society the whole evening, as he much desired the
+pleasure of his acquaintance. I saw, by the heightening of her color,
+that M----, woman of the world though she be, felt the unintended
+sarcasm of this polite language; for Dr. J. was calmly ensconced in the
+deep recess of a large _fauteuil_ in the corner of the fire-place,
+apparently enjoying the glowing coal-fire that always adds its cheerful
+influence to the elegant belongings of M----'s splendid drawing-room.
+Throughout the entire evening our effigy of a host kept his post, where
+we found him on entering. People went to him, chatted a while, and moved
+away; we danced, refreshments were served, wine was quaffed,
+
+    'All went merry as a marriage bell;'
+
+M---- glided about from group to group, with an appropriate word, or
+courteous attention for each one, and, in addition to the flowers that
+adorned the rooms, presented the bride of her old friend with an
+exquisite bouquet, saying, in her pretty way, that she would have been
+delighted to receive her in a bower of roses, when she learned from Mr.
+---- how much she liked flowers, but that Flora was in a pet with her
+since she had given up her old conservatory at her father's. As the
+evening waned, I observed her weariness, despite the hospitable smile;
+and well she might be! Several times she slipped away to her babe; once,
+when I stood near her, she started slightly: 'I thought I heard a
+_nursery-cry_,' she whispered to me, 'my little boy is not well
+to-night;' and I missed her soon after. When I went away, I, of course,
+sought the master of the house to say good-night. He half rose, with a
+half smile, in recognition of my adieu, and re-settled himself,
+apparently wholly unconscious of any possible occasion for further
+effort! But the climax, in true epic style, was reserved for the
+_finale_. It was a frightfully stormy night, and when we came down to
+the street door to go away, there stood M----, in her thin dress, the
+cold wind and sleet-rain rushing in when the door was opened, enough to
+carry away her fairy figure, _seeing off her friend and his bride_!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"My dear Miss C----," exclaimed a gentleman after listening to the
+complaint of a lady who had just been charging the lords of creation
+with the habitual discourtesy of retaining their hats when speaking to
+ladies, in stores and shops, as well as in public halls and even in the
+drawing-room; "My dear Miss C----, don't you know that 'Young America'
+_always wears his hat and boots whenever he can_?"
+
+"Does he _sleep in them_?" inquired the lady.
+
+"Well, my dears," I overheard a high-bred and exceedingly handsome man
+inquiring of two lovely English girls, on board a steamer the other day,
+"how did you succeed in your efforts to dine to-day? I will not again
+permit you to be separated from your aunt and me, if we find the table
+ever so crowded."
+
+"But we had Charley, you know, sir," returned one of the fair
+interlocutors, with a smile worthy of Hebe herself.
+
+"True, but Charley is only a child; and boys as well as women fare ill
+at public tables in this 'land of liberty and equality,' unless aided by
+some powerful assistant!"
+
+"I thought we had found such a champion to-day," exclaimed the other
+lady, "in the person who sat next me at dinner. His hands were so nice
+that I should not have objected in the least to his offering me such
+dishes as were within his reach, especially as there seemed to be no
+servant to attend us, and we really sat half through the first course
+without bread or water. Having nothing else to do, for some time, I
+quietly amused myself with observing my courteous neighbor. So wholly
+absorbed did he seem in his own contemplations, so utterly oblivious of
+everything around him, except the contents of his heaped-up plate, that
+I soon became convinced that I had the honor to be in close proximity to
+a philosopher, at least, and probably to some fixed star in the realms
+of science!"
+
+"Oh, Clare! I am so sorry to tell you, but I learned afterwards,
+accidentally, that your profound-looking neighbor is--_a dentist_!"
+
+"And, therefore, accustomed only to the _most painful associations with
+the mouths of others_!" chimed in the aristocrat, laughing in chorus:
+"Well, as our shrewd, sensible friend, the daughter of the Siddons, used
+to say, after her return from America, 'if the Americans profess to be
+all _equal_, they should be _equally well bred_!'"
+
+With a repetition of this doubly sarcastic apothegm, my dear friends,
+for the present,
+
+  Adieu!
+  HARRY LUNETTES.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER VII.
+
+HEALTH, THE TOILET, ETC.
+
+
+MY DEAR NEPHEWS:
+
+Since no man can fulfill his destiny as an actively-useful member of
+society without _Health_, perhaps a few practical suggestions on this
+important subject may not be inconsistent with our present purpose.
+
+The only reliable foundation upon which to base the hope of securing
+permanent possession of this greatest of earthly blessings, is the early
+acquisition of _Habits of Temperance_.
+
+In a proper sense of the word, Temperance is an all-inclusive term--it
+does not mean abstaining from strong drink, only, nor from over-eating,
+nor from any one form of self-indulgence or dissipation; but it requires
+_moderation in all things_, for its full illustration.
+
+It was this apprehension of the term that was truthfully exhibited in
+the long, useful, consistent life of our distinguished countryman, John
+Quincy Adams. Habits formed in boyhood, in strict accordance with this
+principle, and adhered to in every varying phase of circumstance
+throughout his prolonged existence, were the proximate cause of his
+successful and admirable career. And what a career! How triumphantly
+successful, how worthy of admiration! More than half a century did he
+serve his country, at home and abroad, dying at last, with his armor
+on,--a watchman, faithful, even unto death, upon the ramparts of the
+Citadel, where Justice, Truth, and Freedom have found a last asylum.
+Think you that the intellectual and moral purposes of his being could
+have been borne out by the most resolute exercise of will, but for the
+judicious training of the _physique_? Or could the higher attributes of
+his nature have been developed, indeed, in conjunction with a body
+'cabined, cribbed and confined' by the enervating influence of youthful
+self-indulgence? Born on--
+
+    "Stern New-England's rocky shore,"
+
+no misnamed luxury shrouded his frame from the discipline of that
+Teacher, "around whose steps the mountain breezes blow, and from whose
+countenance all the virtues gather strength." You are, doubtless, all
+familiar with Mr. Adams' habits of early rising, bathing, etc. The
+latter, even, he maintained until within two years of his death, bathing
+in an open stream each morning, if his locality permitted the enjoyment,
+at a very early hour. I have his own authority for the fact that he,
+during the different periods of his public sojourn abroad, laved his
+vigorous frame in almost every river of Europe! Franklin, too, ascribed
+his triumph over the obstacles that obstructed his early path to a
+strict adherence to the rules of Temperance. And so, indeed, with most
+of the truly great men whose names illumine the pages of our country's
+history:--I might multiply examples almost _ad infinitum_, but your own
+reading will enable you to endorse the correctness of my assertion.
+
+Since we have, incidentally, alluded to the _Bath_, in connection with
+the example of Mr. Adams, let us commence the consideration of personal
+habits, with this agreeable and essential accessory of Health.
+
+Though authorities may differ respecting some minor details with regard
+to bathing, I believe medical testimony all goes to sanction its
+adoption by all persons, in some one of its modifications.
+Constitutional peculiarities should always be consulted in the
+establishment of individual rules,--hence no general directions can be
+made applicable to all persons. The cold bath, though that most
+frequently adopted by persons in health, is, no doubt, injurious in some
+cases, and careful observation alone can enable each individual to
+establish the precise temperature at which his ablutions will be most
+beneficial.
+
+But, while the most scrupulous and unvarying regard for cleanliness
+should be considered of primary importance, the indiscreet use of the
+bath should be avoided with equal care. Bishop Heber, one of the best
+and most useful of men, sacrificed himself in the midst of a career of
+eminent piety, to an imprudent use of this luxury, arising either from
+ignorance or inadvertency. After rising very early to baptize several
+native converts recently made in India, the field of his labors, he
+returned to his bungalow in a state of exhaustion from excitement and
+abstinence, and, without taking any nourishment, threw himself into a
+bath, and soon after expired!--No one can safely resort to the bath when
+the bodily powers are much weakened, by whatever cause; and though it is
+unwise to use it directly after taking a full meal, it should not
+immediately precede the chief meal of the day, if that be taken at a
+late hour, and after prolonged abstinence and exertion.
+
+The _art of swimming_ early acquired, affords the most agreeable and
+beneficial mode of bathing, not to dwell upon its numerous
+recommendations in other respects; but when this enjoyment cannot be
+secured, nor even the luxury of an immersion bath, luckily for health,
+comfort, and propriety, the means of _sponge bathing_ may always be
+secured, at least in this country (wherever it has risen above
+barbarism), though I must say that frequently during my travels in
+England, and even through towns boasting good hotels, I found water and
+towels at a high premium, and very difficult of acquisition at that!
+Sponging the whole person upon rising, either in cold or tepid water, as
+individual experience proves best, with the use of the Turkish towel, or
+some similar mode of friction, is one of the best preparations for a day
+of useful exertion.
+
+This practice has collateral advantages, inasmuch as it naturally leads
+to attention to all the details of the toilet essentially connected with
+refinement and health--to proper care of the Hair, Teeth, Nails,
+etc.,--in short, to a neat and suitable arrangement of the dress before
+leaving one's apartment in the morning. To slippered age belongs the
+indulgence of a careless morning toilet; but with the morning of life we
+properly associate readiness for action in some pursuit demanding steady
+and prolonged exertion, early begun, and with every faculty and
+attribute in full exercise.
+
+Fashion sanctions so many varying modes of wearing or not wearing the
+_hair_, that no directions can be given in relation to it, except such
+as enjoin the avoidance of all fantastic dressing, and the observance of
+entire neatness with relation to it. Careful brushing, together with
+occasional ablutions, will best preserve this natural ornament; and I
+would, also, suggest the use of such _pomades_ only as are most
+delicately scented. No gentleman should go about like a walking
+perfumer's shop, redolent, not of--
+
+    "Sabean odors from the spicy shores
+      Of Araby the Blest,"
+
+but of spirits of turpentine, musk, etc., 'commixed and commingled' in
+'confusion worse confounded' to all persons possessed of a nicety of
+nervous organization. All perfumes for the handkerchiefs, or worn about
+the person, should be, not only of the most unexceptionable kind, but
+used in very moderate quantities. Their profuse use will ill supply the
+neglect of the bath, or of the proper care of the teeth and general
+toilet.
+
+The _Teeth_ cannot be too carefully attended to by those who value good
+looks, as well as health. And nothing tends more towards their
+preservation than the habitual use of the brush, before retiring, as
+well as in the morning. The use of some simple uninjurious adjunct to
+the brush may be well; but pure water and the brush, faithfully applied,
+will secure cleanliness--the great preservative of these essential
+concomitants of manly beauty. If you use tobacco--(and I fervently hope
+none of you who have not the habit will ever allow yourselves to acquire
+it!)--but if you are, unfortunately, enslaved by the habit, never omit
+to rinse the mouth thoroughly after smoking (I will not admit the
+possibility, that any _young man_, in this age of progressive
+refinement, is addicted to habitual _chewing_), and never substitute the
+use of a strong odor for this proper observance, especially when going
+into the society of ladies. Smoke dispellers must yield the palm to the
+purifying effects of the unadulterated element, after all.
+
+The utmost nicety in the care of the _Nails_, is an indispensable part
+of a gentleman's toilet. They should be kept of a moderate length, as
+well as clean and smooth. Avoid all absurd forms, and inconvenient
+length, in cutting them, which you will find it easiest to do neatly
+while they are softened by washing, and the use of the nail-brush.
+
+Properly fitted boots and shoes, together with frequent bathing, will
+best secure _the feet_ from the torturing excrescences by which poor
+mortals are so often afflicted. The addition of _salt_ to the foot-bath,
+if persevered in, will greatly protect them from the painful effects of
+over-walking, etc.
+
+I think that under the head of Dress, in one of my earliest letters, I
+expressed my opinion regarding the essentials of refinement and comfort
+as connected with this branch of the toilet. I will only say, in this
+connection, that a liberal supply of linen, hosiery, etc., should be
+regarded as of more importance than outside display, and that the most
+enlightened economy suggests the employment of the best materials, the
+most skillful manufacturers, and the unrestrained use of these "aids and
+appliances" of gentleman-like propriety, comfort, and health.
+
+The best and surest mode of securing ample and certain leisure for
+needful attention to the minutiae of the toilet is _Early Rising_, a
+habit that, in addition to the healthful influence it exerts upon the
+physique, collaterally, promotes the minor moralities of life in a
+wonderful degree, and really is one of the fundamentals of success in
+whatever pursuit you may be engaged. Here, again, permit me to refer you
+to the examples of the truly great men of history--those of our own land
+will suffice--Washington, Franklin, Adams, and, though inconsistent with
+his habits in some other respects, Webster. Of the latter, it is well
+known, that he did not trim the midnight lamp for purposes of
+professional investigation or mental labor of any kind, but rose early
+to such tasks, with body and mind invigorated for ready and successful
+exertion. I have seen few things from his powerful pen, more pleasingly
+written than his _Eulogy upon Morning_, as it may properly be called,
+though I don't know that to be the title of an article written by him in
+favor of our present theme, in which erudition and pure taste contend
+for supremacy with convincing argument.
+
+But to secure the full benefit of _early rising_, my young friends, you
+must also, establish the habit of _retiring early_ and regularly. No one
+dogma of medical science, perhaps, is more fully borne out by universal
+experience than this, that "two hours' sleep before midnight is worth
+all obtained afterwards." To seek repose before the system is too far
+over-taxed for quiet, refreshing rest, and before the brain has been
+aroused from the quiescence natural to the evening hours, into renewed
+and unhealthy action, is most consistent with the laws of health. And,
+depend upon it, though the elasticity of youthful constitutions may, for
+a time, resist the pernicious effects of a violation of these laws, the
+hour will assuredly come, sooner or later, to all, when the _lex
+talionis_ will be felt in resistless power. Fashion and Nature are sadly
+at war on this point, as I am fully aware; but the edicts of the one are
+immutable, those of the other are proverbially fickle.
+
+Students, especially, should regard obedience to the wiser of the two
+as imperative. The mental powers, as well as the physical, demand
+this--the "_mind's eye_" as well as the organs of outward vision, will
+be found, by experiment, to possess the clearer and quicker discernment
+during those hours when, throughout the domains of Nature, all is
+activity, healthfulness and visible beauty. And no peculiarity of
+circumstance or inclination will ever make that healthful which is
+_unnatural_. Hence the wisdom of _establishing habits_ consistent with
+health, while no obstacle exists to their easy acquisition. There is an
+experiment on record made by two generals, each at the head of an army
+on march, in warm weather, over the same route. The one led on his
+troops by day, the other chose the cooler hours for advancing, and
+reposed while the sun was abroad. In all other respects, their
+arrangements were similar. At the end of ten or twelve days, the result
+convincingly proved that exertion even under mid-summer heat is most
+healthfully made while the stimulus of solar light sustains the system,
+and that sleep is most refreshing and beneficial in all respects when
+sought while the hush and obscurity of the outer world assist repose.
+
+But if, as the nursery doggerel wisely declares,
+
+    "Early to bed and early to rise,
+    Makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise,"
+
+there must be united with this rational habit, others each equally
+important to the full advantage to be derived from all combined.
+
+Among these, _Exercise_ holds a prominent rank. As with the bath, this
+is most effectually employed for health before the system is exhausted
+by mental labor.
+
+Among the numerous modes of exercise, none is so completely at command
+at all times and under all circumstances, as _walking_. But the full
+benefit of this exercise, is not often enjoyed by the inhabitants of
+cities, by reason of the impure air that is almost necessarily inhaled
+in connection with it. Still, it is not impossible to obviate this
+difficulty by a little pains. The _early riser_ and the _rapid
+pedestrian_ may in general, easily secure time to seek daily one of the
+few and limited breathing-places that, though in this regard we are
+vastly inferior to Europeans in taste and good sense, even our American
+cities supply, either, like what they indeed are, _lungs_, in the very
+centre of activity, or at no unapproachable distance from it. Do not
+forget that vegetation, while it sends forth noxious influences _at
+night_, exales oxygen and other needful food for vitality, _in the
+morning_, especially; nor that an erect carriage, which alone gives
+unobstructed play to the organs of respiration and digestion, is
+requisite, together with considerable activity of movement, to secure
+the legitimate results of walking.
+
+Students, and others whose occupations are of a sedentary character,
+sometimes adopt the practice of taking a long walk periodically. This
+is, no doubt, promotive of health, provided it is not at first carried
+to an extreme. All such habits should be gradually formed, and their
+formation commenced and pursued with due respect for physiological
+rules. Mr. Combe, the distinguished phrenologist--in his "Constitution
+of Man," I think, relates an instance of a young person, in infirm
+health and unaccustomed to such exertion, who undertook a walk of twenty
+miles, to be accomplished without interruption. The first seven or eight
+miles were achieved with ease and pleasure to the pedestrian, but
+thenceforth discomfort and final exhaustion should have been a
+sufficient warning to the tyro to desist from his self-appointed task. A
+severe illness was the consequence and punishment of his ignorant
+violation of physiological laws.
+
+By the way, I cannot too strongly recommend to your careful perusal the
+various works of Dr. Andrew Combe, long the physician of the amiable
+King of Belgium, in relation to that and kindred subjects. His
+"Physiology as applied to Mental Health," is replete with practical
+suggestions and advice of the most instructive and important nature, as
+are also his "Dietetics," etc.
+
+Himself an incurable invalid, he maintained the vital forces through
+many years of eminent usefulness to others, only by dint of the most
+strenuous adherence to the strictest requirements of the Science of the
+Physique. The writings of his brother, Mr. George Combe, and especially
+the work I have just mentioned, the "Constitution of Man," also abound
+in lessons of practical usefulness, which may be adopted irrespective of
+his peculiar phrenological views. In the multitude of newer
+publications these admirable books are already half-forgotten, but my
+limited reading has afforded me no knowledge of anything superior to
+them, as text-books for the young.
+
+_Riding_ and _driving_ need no recommendation to insure their
+popularity, as means of exercise. Both have many pleasure and
+health-giving attractions.
+
+Every young man should endeavor to acquire a thorough knowledge of both
+riding and driving, not from a desire to emulate the ignoble
+achievements of a horse-jockey, but as proper _accomplishments_ for a
+gentleman.
+
+The possession of a fine horse is a prolific source of high and innocent
+enjoyment, and may often be secured by those whose purses are not taxed
+for _cigars and wine_! Nothing can be more exhilarating than the
+successful management of this spirited and generous animal, whether
+under the saddle or in harness! Even plethoric, ponderous old Dr.
+Johnson, admitted that "few things are so exciting as to be drawn
+rapidly along in a post-chaise, over a smooth road, by a fine horse!"
+
+Let me repeat, however, that young men should be content to promote
+health and enjoyment by the moderate, gentleman-like gratification of
+the pride of skill, in this respect. Like many other amusements, though
+entirely innocent and unexceptionable when reasonably indulged in, its
+abuse leads inevitably to the most debasing consequences.--Our dusty
+high-roads very ill supply the place of the extensive public Parks and
+gardens that furnish such agreeable places of resort for both riding and
+driving, as well as for pedestrians, in most of the large cities of
+Europe, but one may, at least, secure better air and more freedom of
+space by resorting to them than to the streets, for every form of
+exercise. And as it is a well established fact that agreeable and novel
+associations for both the eye and the mind are essential concomitants of
+beneficial exercise, we have every practical consideration united to
+good taste in favor of eschewing the streets whenever fate permits.
+
+    "Oh! how canst thou renounce the boundless store
+    Of charms which Nature to her votaries yields,--
+    The warbling woodland, the resounding shore,
+    The pomp of groves and garniture of fields;
+    All that the genial ray of morning gilds,
+    And all that echoes to the song of even,
+    All that the mountain's sheltering bosom shields,
+    And all the dread magnificence of Heaven;--
+    O! how canst thou renounce and hope to be forgiven!"
+
+    BEATTIE
+
+_Eating_ and _drinking_ are too closely connected with our general
+subject of health, to be forgotten here.
+
+That regard for Temperance which I have endeavored to commend to you, of
+course yields a prominent place to habits in these respects.
+
+In relation to _eating_, I strongly recommend the cultivation of _simple
+tastes_, and the careful avoidance of every indulgence tending towards
+sensuality.
+
+Some knowledge of _Dietetics_ is essential to the adoption
+of right opinions and practice on this point. For instance, no man
+should wait for dire experience to enforce the truths that roast and
+broiled meats possess the most nutritious qualities; that all _fried_
+dishes are, necessarily, more or less unwholesome; that animal oils and
+fatty substances require stronger digestive force for their assimilation
+than persons of sedentary life usually possess; that warm bread, as a
+rule, is unsuited to the human stomach, etc., etc. No one should
+consider these matters unworthy of serious attention, though temporarily
+free from inconvenience arising from neglecting them. Eventually, every
+human constitution will exhibit painful proofs of all outrages committed
+upon the laws by which its operations are governed; and the greater the
+license permitted in youth, the severer will be the penalty exacted in
+after years.
+
+    ----"Mind and Body are so close combined,
+      Where Health of Body, Health of Mind you find."
+
+Preserve, then, as you value the means of usefulness, the perfect play
+of your mental powers--so easily trammelled by the clogging of the
+machinery of the body--the unadulterated taste that is content with a
+sufficiency of wholesome, well-cooked food to satisfy the demands of
+healthful appetite. Cultivate no love of condiments, sauces and
+stimulants; indulge no ambition to excel in dressing salads, classifying
+_ragouts_, or in demonstrating, down to the nicety of a single
+ingredient, the distinction between a home-made and an imported _pate de
+foie gras_! Distinctions such as these may suffice for the worn-out
+society of a corrupt civilization, but our countrymen--MEN--should shout
+EXCELSIOR!
+
+Abstract rules in relations to the hours proper for taking meals,
+however carefully adapted to the security of health, in themselves
+considered, must, of necessity, give place to those artificially imposed
+by custom and convenience. Thus, though the practice of _dining late_ is
+not sanctioned by Hygeia, it admits of question, whether, as the usages
+of the business-world at present exists, it is not a wiser custom than
+any other permitted by circumstance.
+
+All who have given any attention to the subject know, that neither
+bodily nor mental labor can be either comfortably or successfully
+pursued directly after a full meal. Hence, then, those whose occupations
+require their attention during several successive hours, may find the
+habit of dining after the more imperative labors of the day are
+accomplished, most conducive to health as well as convenience.
+
+Still, it should not be forgotten, that long abstinence is likely to
+produce the exhaustion that tells so surely and seriously upon the
+constitution, of young persons especially. This may be prevented by
+taking, systematically, a little light, simple nutriment, sufficient to
+produce what is aptly termed the _stimulus of distention_ in that much
+abused organ--the stomach. This practice regularly adhered to, will also
+promote a collateral advantage, by acting as a security against the too
+keen sharpening of appetite that tends to repletion in eating, and which
+sometimes produces results similar to those exhibited by a
+boa-constrictor after dining upon a whole buffalo, swallowed without the
+previous ceremony of carving! One should never dine so heartily as to be
+unfitted for the subsequent enjoyment of society, or of the lighter
+pursuits of literature. _Deliberate and thorough mastication_ will more
+beneficially, and quite as pleasurably, prolong the enjoyments of the
+table, as a more hurried disposal of a large quantity of food. And
+really I do not know how the most rigid economist of time, or the most
+self-sacrificing devotee either of Mammon or of Literature, can more
+judiciously devote an hour of each day than to the single purpose of
+_dining_!
+
+Happily for those whose self-respect does not always furnish the
+sustaining power requisite for the maintenance of a principle, fashion
+no longer requires of any man the use of even _wine_, much less of
+stronger beverages. And with reference to the use of all alcoholic
+stimulants, as well as of tobacco, I would remind you that _those only
+who are not enslaved by appetite, are_ FREE! If you have acquired a
+liking for wine or tobacco, and would abjure either, or both, you will
+soon be convinced, by experiment, of the truth of Dr. Johnson's saying,
+of which, by the way, his own life furnished a striking illustration,
+that "_abstinence is easier than temperance_."
+
+To prolong arguments against the habits of smoking and drinking, were a
+work of supererogation, here. I will advance but one, which may,
+possibly, possess the merit of novelty. Both have the effect, materially
+to limit our enjoyment of the presence and conversation of
+
+    "Heaven's last, best gift to man!"
+
+I cannot better dismiss this important topic than by quoting the
+following passage from the writings of Sir Walter Raleigh:
+
+"Except thou desire to hasten thy end, take this for a general
+rule--that thou never add any artificial heat to thy body by wine or
+spice, until thou find that time hath decayed thy natural heat; the
+sooner thou dost begin to help nature the sooner she will forsake thee,
+and leave thee to trust altogether to art."
+
+In my youth, advice to young men was constantly commingled--whatever its
+general tenor--with admonitions regarding the necessity for industry and
+perseverance in those who would achieve worldly success. In these
+utilitarian times, when all seem borne along upon a resistless current,
+hurrying to the attainment of some practical end, engrossed by schemes
+of political ambition, or devoted to the acquisition of wealth, a quiet
+looker-on--as I am wont to regard myself--is tempted to counsel
+"moderation in all things," contentment with the legitimate results of
+honorable effort, the cultivation of habits of daily relaxation from the
+severity of toil, of daily rest from the mental tension that is demanded
+for successful competition in the arena of life.
+
+The impression that _sleep_ is a sufficient restorative from the wearing
+effects of otherwise ceaseless labor, or that _change of occupation_
+furnishes all the relief that nature requires in this respect, is,
+undoubtedly, erroneous. "The man," says an eminent student of humanity,
+"who does not now allow himself two hours for relaxation after dinner,
+will be _compelled_ to devote more time than that daily to the care of
+his health, eventually."
+
+To allow one's self to be so engrossed by any pursuit, however laudable
+in itself, as to reserve no leisure for the claims of Society, of
+Friendship, of Taste, is so irrational as to need nothing but reflection
+to render it apparent. In a merely utilitarian view, it is unwise,
+since, as AEsop has demonstrated, the bow that is never unbent soon
+ceases to be fit for use; but there is, surely, a higher consideration,
+addressed to the reason of man. Pope embodies it, in part, in the lines
+
+    ----"God is paid when man receives,
+          _To enjoy is to obey_!"
+
+To have an aim, a purpose in life, sufficiently engrossing to act as an
+incentive to the exercise of all the powers of being, is essential to
+health and happiness. But to pursue any one object to the exclusion of
+all considerations for self-culture and intellectual enjoyment, is
+destructive of everything worthy that name.
+
+They who devote all the exertions of youth and manhood to the acquisition
+of political distinction, or of gold, for instance--cherishing, meanwhile,
+a sort of Arcadian dream of ultimately enjoying the pleasures of
+intellectual communion, or the charms of the natural world, when the
+heat and burden of the conflict of life shall be done--exhibit a most
+deplorable ignorance of the truth that they will possess in age only
+the crippled capacities that disuse has almost wholly robbed of vitality,
+together with such as are prematurely worn out by being habitually
+overtaxed.
+
+On the contrary, those who believe that
+
+    "It is not all of life to live,"
+
+and early establish a true standard of excellence, and acquaint
+themselves with the immutable laws of our being, will so commingle
+self-ennobling pursuits and enjoyments with industrious and
+well-directed attention to the needful demands of practical life, as to
+secure as much of _ever-present happiness_ as falls to the lot of
+humanity, together with the enviable retrospection of an exalted
+ambition, rightly fulfilled. They may also hope for the invaluable
+possession of intellectual and moral developments to be matured in that
+state of existence of which this is but the embryo. These are truisms, I
+admit, my young friends, yet the spirit of the age impels their
+iteration and re-iteration!
+
+Burke's musical periods lamented the departure of the "age of chivalry."
+Would that one gifted as he may revive the waning existence of the
+social and domestic virtues, and inspire my young countrymen with an
+ambition too lofty in its aspirations to permit the sacrifice of mental
+and moral powers, of natural affections, and immortal aspirations, upon
+the altars of Mammon!--shrines now yearly receiving from our country a
+holocaust of sacrifices, to which battle-fields are as naught in
+comparison.
+
+But to return from this unpremeditated digression. Natural tastes and
+individual circumstances must, to a considerable extent, determine the
+relaxations and amusements most conducive to enjoyment and health.
+
+You will scarcely need to be told that persons of sedentary habits, and
+especially those devoted to literary occupations, should make _exercise
+in the open air_ a daily recreation, and that it will best subserve the
+purposes of pleasure and health when united with the advantages arising
+from _cheerful companionship_.
+
+Hence the superiority of walking, riding, driving, boating, and sporting
+in its various forms, to all in-door exercises and amusements--and
+especially to those tending rather to tax the brain than exercise the
+body--for those whose mental powers are most taxed by their avocations.
+
+On the other hand, there are those to whom the lighter investigations of
+literature and science afford the most appropriate relief from the toils
+of business.
+
+Permit me, however, to enter my protest against the belief that a change
+from the labors and duties of city life to the close sleeping-rooms, the
+artificiality and excitement of a fashionable watering-place affords a
+proper and healthful relief to a weary body and an overwrought brain.
+Life at a watering-place is no more an equivalent for the pure air, the
+simple habits, the wholesome food, the _repose of mind and heart_,
+afforded by unadulterated country life, than immersion in a bathing-tub
+is a satisfactory substitute for swimming in a living stream, or a
+contemplation of the most exquisite picture of rural scenes, for a
+glorious canter amid green fields and over breezy hills! Nor will
+dancing half the night in heated rooms, late suppers, bowling-alleys and
+billiards, not to speak of still more objectionable indulgences, restore
+these devotees to study or business to their city-homes re-invigorated
+for renewed action, as will the least laborious employments of the
+farmer, the "sportive toil" of the naturalist, the varied enjoyments of
+the traveller amid the wonders of our vast primeval forests, or of the
+voyager who explores the attractions of our unrivalled chain of inland
+lakes. People who do their thinking by proxy, and regulate their
+enjoyments by the _on dit_ of the fashionable world, yearly spend money
+enough at some crowded resort of the _beau monde_ (heaven save the
+mark!) to enable them to make the tour of Europe, or buy a pretty villa
+and grounds in the country, or do some deed "twice blessed," in that "it
+blesseth him that gives and him that takes." In Scotland, in England, in
+the North of Europe generally, men and women whose social position
+necessarily involves refinement of habits and education, go, in little
+congenial parties, into the mountains and among the lakes, visit spots
+renowned in song and story, collect specimens of the wonders of nature,
+"camp out," as they say at the West, eat simply, dress rationally--in
+short, _really rusticate_, in happy independence alike of the thraldom
+of fashion and the supremacy of convention. Thus in the Old World, among
+the learned, the accomplished, the high-born. Here in Young America--let
+the sallow cheek, the attenuated limbs, the dull eye and _blase_ air of
+the youthful scions of many a noble old Revolutionary stock, attest only
+too truly, a treasonous slavery to the most arbitrary and remorseless of
+tyrants! Would that they may serve, at least, as beacons to warn you,
+seasonably, against adding yourselves to the denizens of haunts where
+
+    "Unwieldly wealth, and cumbrous pomp repose;
+    And every want to luxury allied,
+    And every pang that _folly pays to pride_!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I would that all my young countrymen might have looked upon the last
+hours of my revered friend, John Quincy Adams, and thus learned the
+impressive lessons taught by that solemn scene; lessons that--to use his
+own appropriate language--
+
+       ----"bid us seize the moments as they pass,
+    Snatch the retrieveless sun-beam as it flies,
+        Nor lose one sand of life's revolving glass--
+          Aspiring still, with energy sublime,
+          By virtuous deeds to give _Eternity to Time_!"[5]
+
+  [5] Concluding lines of Mr. Adams' "Address to the _Sun-Dial_ under the
+  window of the Hall of the House of Representatives."
+
+It was, indeed, a fitting close of his long, noble life! Faithful to his
+duty to his country, he maintained his post to the last, and fell, like
+a true defender of liberty--renouncing his weapons only with his life.
+Borne from the arena of senatorial strife to a couch hastily prepared
+beneath the same roof that had so often echoed his words of dauntless
+eloquence, attended by mourning friends, and receiving the tender
+ministrations of the companion alike of his earlier and later manhood,
+the flickering lamp of life slowly expired. After, apparently, reviewing
+the lengthened retrospection of a temperate, rational, useful life, from
+the boyish years
+
+    "Whose distant footsteps echoed through the corridors of Time,"
+
+to the dying efforts of genius and patriotism, the hushed stillness of
+that hallowed chamber at length rendered audible the sublime words--"IT
+IS THE LAST OF EARTH! I AM CONTENT!"
+
+I think it was during the administration of Sir Charles Bagot, the
+immediate successor of Lord Durham, as Governor General of the Canadas,
+that I had the pleasure to dine one day, at the house of a distinguished
+civilian who held office under him, in company with the celebrated
+traveller L----, and his friend, the well-known E---- G---- W----, a man
+who, despite wealth, rank, and talent, paid a life-long penalty for a
+youthful error. There were, also, present several members of the
+Provincial Parliament, then in session at Kingston, which was, at that
+time, the seat of government, and a number of ladies--those of the party
+of Americans with whom I was travelling, and some others.
+
+The conversation, very naturally, turned upon the national peculiarities
+of the _Yankees_--as the English call, not the inhabitants of New
+England alone, but the people of the North American States generally--in
+consequence of the fact that the world-wide traveller had just completed
+his first visit to our country. Some one asked him a leading question
+respecting his impressions of us as a people, and more than one
+good-humored sally was given and parried among us. At length L---- said,
+so audibly and gravely as to arrest the attention of the whole company:
+
+"I have really but two serious faults to charge upon Jonathan."
+
+"May we be permitted to inquire what those are?" returned I.
+
+"That he _repudiates his debts_, and _doesn't take time to eat his
+dinner_."
+
+When the general laugh had subsided, Mr. W---- remarked that, except when
+at the best hotels in the larger cities, he had found less inducement
+for dining deliberately in the United States than in most civilized
+lands he had visited, in consequence of the prevalent bad cookery.
+
+"The words of Goldsmith," said he,--
+
+    "'Heaven sends us good meat, but the devil sends cooks!'
+
+were always present to my mind when at table there! They eschew honest
+cold roast beef, as though there were poison in meat but once cooked,
+served a second time, though Hamlet is authority for _our_ taste in that
+respect.--The cold venison you did me the honor to compliment so highly,
+at lunch, this morning, L----, would have been offered you _fried_ by
+our good Yankee cousins!"
+
+"The patron saint of _la cuisine_ forefend!" cried a smooth-browed
+Englishman--"not re-cooked, I hope?"
+
+"Assuredly!" returned W----, "I trust these ladies and Colonel Lunettes
+will pardon me,--but such infamous stupidity is quite common. I soon
+learned, however, the secret of preserving my "capacious stomach" in
+unimpaired capacity for action, [an irresistibly comic glance downward
+upon his portly person] and could, I thought, very readily explain--
+
+                'What is't that takes from _them_
+    Their stomach, pleasures, and their golden sleep,
+    Why they do bend their eyes upon the earth,
+
+           *       *       *       *       *
+
+    In thick ey'd musing and curs'd melancholy!'"
+
+If the frank denunciations of this eccentric observer of life and
+manners might otherwise have been regarded as impolite, his more severe
+comments upon his own countrymen proved, at least, that no national
+partiality swayed his judgment.
+
+I remember his telling me the following anecdote, as we chatted over our
+coffee, after joining the ladies in the evening:--In answer to some
+inquiry on my part, respecting the social condition of _the people_--the
+peasantry, as he called them, of the Provinces, he spoke in unmitigated
+condemnation of their ignorance, and especially of their insolence and
+boorishness. "Get L---- to tell you," said he, "how nearly he and his
+servants were frozen to death one fierce night, while an infernal
+gate-keeper opposed his road-right. Then, again, the other morning, Mrs.
+M---- (our hostess) who like every other lady here, except, perhaps,
+Lady Bagot, goes to market every day, was referred by a man, from whom
+she inquired for potatoes, to an old crone, with the words--'This _lady_
+sell them,--here is _a woman_ who wants to buy potatoes!'"
+
+The following morning, while our American party were driving out to the
+superb Fort that protects the Harbor of Kingston, to visit which we had
+been politely furnished with a permit by an official friend, I
+endeavored to draw from a very charming and accomplished lady the secret
+of her unusual silence and reserve at dinner the evening before. She is
+really a celebrity, as much for her remarkable conversational powers, as
+for any other reason, perhaps, and I had, therefore, the more regretted
+her not joining in the conversation.
+
+"What made the mystery more difficult of solution," said one of the
+other ladies, "was the equally imperturbable gravity of that handsome
+Frenchman who sat beside Virginia."
+
+"Handsome!" retorted Virginia, "do you call that man handsome!--his high
+cheek bones and swarthy complexion show his Indian blood rather too
+plainly for my taste, I must confess."
+
+"That commingling of races is very common here, Virginia," said I, "Mr.
+E---- is a somewhat prominent member of the Canadian Parliament. I heard
+a speech from him, in French, yesterday morning, which was listened to
+with marked attention. There were a number of ladies in the
+_side-boxes_, too, and it is evident from his attention to his dress, if
+for no other reason, that Mr. E---- is an _elegant_!"
+
+"All that may be," rejoined Virginia, "but I have no fancy for light
+blue 'unwhisperables,' as Tom calls them, nor for ruffled shirts!"
+
+"A change has come o'er the spirit of your dream, most queenly daughter
+of the 'sunny South!'--is this the sprightly _Americaine_ who won all
+hearts the other day on the St. Lawrence,--from that magnificent British
+officer, to the quiet old priest whose very beard seemed to laugh, at
+least"----
+
+"That, indeed, Col. Lunettes!--but for your ever-ready gallantry I would
+exclaim--
+
+    'Man delights me not, nor woman either!'
+
+but here we are at the entrance of the famous donjon keep!"
+
+We spent some time in examining the--to the ladies--novel attractions of
+the place. By-and-by, the fair Virginia, who had strayed off a little by
+herself, called to me to come and explain the mode of using a port-hole
+to her. In a few minutes, she said, in a low tone, sitting down, as she
+spoke upon a dismounted cannon, "Col. Lunettes, I beg you not to allude
+again to that--to the dinner, yesterday, or, at least, to my
+embarrassment"----
+
+"Your embarrassment, my dear girl!" I exclaimed, "you astonish me! Do
+explain yourself"----
+
+"Hush," returned my companion, looking furtively over her shoulder,
+"that young Englishman seems to be engrossing the attention of the rest
+of the party, and, perhaps, I shall have time to tell you"----
+
+"Do, my dear, if anything has annoyed you--surely so old a friend may
+claim your confidence."
+
+"I have heard of the 'son of a gun,'" replied she, evidently making a
+strong effort to recall the natural sprightliness that seemed so
+singularly to have deserted her of late; "I don't see why I am not the
+_daughter of a gun_, at this moment, and so entitled to be very brave!
+But about this Mr. E----, Colonel," she almost whispered, bending her
+head so as to screen her face from my observation. "You know Mrs. M----
+called for me the other morning to go and walk with her alone, because,
+as she said, she wanted to talk a little about old times, when we were
+in the convent school at C---- together. Well, as we came to a little
+"shop," as she styled it--a hardware store, _we_ should say--she begged
+me to go in with her a moment, while she gave some directions about a
+hall-stove, saying, with an apology: "We wives of government officers
+here, do all these things, as a matter of course." While she walked back
+in the place, I very naturally remained near the door, amusing myself by
+observing what was passing in the street. Presently, a fine horse
+arrested my eye, as he came prancing along. His rider seemed to have
+some ado to control him, as I thought, at first, but I suddenly became
+aware that he was endeavoring to stop him, in mid career, and that, when
+he succeeded--he--I--there was no mistaking it--his glance almost
+petrified me, in short, and I had only just power to turn quickly in
+search of Mrs. M----."
+
+The slight form of the speaker quivered visibly, and she paused
+abruptly.
+
+"Why, my poor child," said I, soothingly, "never mind it! How can you
+allow such a thing to distress you in this way?"
+
+"If anything of the kind had ever happened to me before, I should have
+thought it my fault, in some way; but when I got back to our hotel, and
+reviewed the whole matter, and--but there come the rest of the
+party"--she added, hurriedly. "Do you wonder now at my manner at the
+dinner? I knew his face the moment the man entered the dining room; and
+when Mr. M---- introduced him, and requested him to conduct me, the
+burning glow that flashed over his swarthy brow convinced me that he,
+too, recognized me. I would sooner have encountered a basilisk than your
+elegant, parliamentary Frenchman!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Doctor, what may I eat?" inquired a dyspeptic American, who had just
+received a prescription from Abernethy--the eccentric and celebrated
+English physician.
+
+"_Eat?_" thundered the disciple of Galen, "the poker and tongs, if you
+will _chew them well_!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+What a commingling of nations and characters there was in the little
+party of which I made one, on a serene evening, lang-syne, at
+Constantinople! We floated gently over the placid bosom of the
+sunset-tinted Golden Horn, rowed by four stout Mussulmans, and bound for
+that point of the shore of the Marmora nearest the suburb of Ezoub
+where horses awaited us for a brisk canter of some miles back to the
+city. There were, Lord ----, an English nobleman; a Hungarian refugee; a
+Yankee sea-captain; a dark-eyed youth from one of the Greek Islands; and
+myself--men severed by birth and education from communion of thought and
+feeling, yet united, for the moment, by a similarity of purpose;
+associated by the subtle influence of circumstance, into a serene
+commingling of one common nature, and capacitated for the interchange of
+impressions and ideas, at least in an imperfect degree, through the
+medium of a strange jargon, compounded originally of materials as varied
+as the native languages of the several individuals composing the group
+in our old Turkish _Caique_, which may have been, for aught we knew, the
+identical one that followed Byron in his Leander-swim!
+
+The conversation naturally partook in character of the scene before
+us:--Near, towered the time-stained walls of the Seraglio--so long the
+cradling-place of successive Sultans, and then furnishing the embryo of
+the voluptuous pleasures of their anticipated paradise. Beyond, rose the
+ruin-crowned heights, the domes and minarets of old Stamboul, rich in
+historic suggestions, glowing now in the warmly-lingering smile of the
+departing day-god,
+
+    "Not, as in Northern climes, obscurely bright,
+    But one unclouded blaze of living light!"
+
+Before us, in our way over the crystal waters, loomed up the gloomy,
+verdure-draped turrets of the "Irde Koule" of this oft-rebelling and
+oft-conquered seat of Oriental splendor and imperial power. As with the
+"Tower" of London, the mere sight of this now silent and deserted
+castle, conjured up recollections replete with deeds of wild romance,
+and darker scenes of blood and crime. Around us flowed the waters whose
+limpid depths had so oft received the sack-shrouded form of helpless
+beauty, when midnight blackness rivalled the horror of the foul murder
+it veiled forever from mortal ken. Argosies and fleets had been borne
+upon these waves, whose names or whose conflicts were of world-wide
+renown--from the mythical adventurers of the Golden-Fleece to the
+triumphant squadrons of the Osmanlis, all seemed to float before the eye
+of fancy!
+
+From the broken sentences that, for some time, seemed most expressive of
+the contemplative mood engendered both by our surroundings and by the
+placidity of the hour, there gradually arose a somewhat connected
+discussion of the present condition of the Ottoman Porte.
+
+It is not my purpose to inflict upon you a detailed report of our
+discourse; but only to relate, for your amusement, a fragment of it,
+which somehow has, strangely enough, floated upwards from the darkened
+waters of the past, with sufficient distinctness to be snatched from the
+oblivion to which its utter insignificance might properly consign it.
+
+"There is not," said the British noble--a man curious in literature, and
+a somewhat speculative observer of life--"there is not a single purely
+literary production in the Turkish language, written by a living author;
+not a poem, nor romance, nor essay. The Koran would almost seem to
+constitute their all of earthly lore and heavenly aspiration. What an
+anomaly in the biography of modern peoples!"
+
+This last sentence was addressed especially to the sea-captain and me,
+the _idiomatical_ English in which the passing fancy of the speaker
+found expression being wholly unintelligible to all except ourselves.
+
+"Their total want of a national literature," said the American, "does
+not so materially affect my comfort, I must confess, as the utter
+absence of decent civilization in their renowned capital. For instance,
+they have not an apology for a night-police in their confoundedly dark
+streets, except the infernal dogs that infest them. The other night,
+returning to my quarters, with my 'Ibrahim' pilot in front with a
+lantern, I was persuaded, as one of these 'faithful guardians' fastened
+his glistening ivories in my boot-top, that, like one of your 'lone
+stars' at New York, Colonel Lunettes, he had 'mistaken his man,' and
+supposed me to be the returned spirit of some one of the countless
+throng of infidel dogs, upon whom his public education had instructed
+him to make war to--_the teeth_!"
+
+"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed the Greek, in tones as musical as his dress and
+attitude were picturesque, from the pile of boat cloaks upon which he
+reposed in the bow of the boat, and opening his dark eyes till one saw
+far down into the dreamy depths of his half-slumbering soul through his
+quick-lit orbs. He had caught enough of the _sense_ of the captain's
+nonsense, to imagine the joke to the full. "Ha, ha, ha!" laughed he,
+again, and the shadowy walls of the blood-stained "Chateau of Seven
+Towers," by which we were gliding, gave back the clear, clarion-like
+tone; "but, while this brave _fils de la mer_[6] thus sports with the
+terrors of my country's enslaver [here a frown, deep, dark, threatening,
+and a quick clenching of the jewelled handle of the yataghan he wore in
+his belt], the gates of fair Stamboul will close, and nor foe, nor
+Frank, nor friend, be given to the dogs."
+
+  [6] Son of the sea.
+
+"By thunder!" shouted the American, shaking himself up, as if at sea,
+with a suspicious sail in sight, "he is more than half right. Would you
+have thought it so late?"
+
+"Even a Yankee, like Captain ----, a fair representative of the
+'universal nation,' learns to dream and linger here," responded the
+Englishman, good-humoredly.
+
+Upon this, I made use of the little knowledge I possessed of the
+Turkish, to interrogate our _Caidjis_ respecting the time further
+required to reach our landing-place.
+
+"Allah is great, and Mohammed is his Prophet!" was all I could fully
+apprehend of his slowly-delivered reply.
+
+It was now the captain's turn to laugh, and as his sonorous peal
+rippled over the Marmora, he quietly insinuated his fore-finger and
+thumb into the disengaged palm of the devout Mussulman I had so
+touchingly adjured.
+
+The only response of the devotee of the Prophet was a gutteral
+repetition of "Pekee! good! pekee! pekee!" But by an influence as
+effective as it was mysterious, our swan-like movement was exchanged for
+a most hope-encouraging velocity.
+
+"Bravo!" exclaimed my lord.
+
+"Bravissima!" intonated the Hun.
+
+"Go it, boys!" shouted the "old salt."
+
+"By the soul of Mithridates and the deeds of Thermopolae!" chimed in the
+scion of the "isles of Greece," catching the instinctively-intelligible
+contagion of the sportive moment.
+
+"And what said Uncle Hal?" you wonder, perhaps. Oh, I was listening to
+the low, melancholy, semi-howl in which the imperturbable Moslems were
+slowly chanting "_Guezal! pek guezal!_"[7] as they turned their dull eyes
+lingeringly towards their fast-receding mosques and minarets.
+
+  [7] My beautiful! my most beautiful!
+
+But, meeting the questioning glances of my companions, as their mirth
+began to subside, I contributed my humble quota to the general stock of
+fun by saying, with extreme gravity of voice and manner:
+
+"When will wonders cease in the Golden Horn! At first, even its
+unquestionable antiquity did not redeem this vessel from my
+contempt--now I consider it an '_irresistible duck_!'--and I wish,
+moreover, to publish my conviction that, though barbarous in matters of
+literature and art, the Turks impressively teach their boastful
+superiors a _religious respect for cleanliness_."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I remember to have been singularly impressed, when I read it, with an
+anecdote somewhat as follows:
+
+As too frequently happens on such occasions, a discussion in relation to
+some insignificant matter, into which a large party of men, who had
+dined together, and were lingering late over their wine, had fallen,
+gradually increased in vehemence and obstinacy of opinion, until
+frenzied excitement ruled the hour.
+
+    "From words they almost came to blows,
+    When luckily"
+
+the attention of one of the most furious of the disputants was suddenly
+arrested by the appearance of one of the gentlemen present. There was no
+angry flush on his brow, no "laughing devil" in his eye, and he sat
+quietly regarding the scene before him, serene and self-possessed as
+when he entered the apartment hours before. His astonished companion
+inquired the cause of such placidity, in the midst of anger and
+turbulence.
+
+The gentleman pointed, with a smile, to a half-empty water-bottle beside
+him, and replied: "While the rest of the company have been industriously
+occupied in endeavoring to drown the distinctive attribute of
+man--reason--I have preserved its supremacy by simply confining myself
+to a non-intoxicating beverage."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I trust you will not think the following somewhat quaint verses, from
+the pen of an old and now almost forgotten poet, a _mal-a-propos_
+conclusion to this letter:
+
+THE YOUTH AND THE PHILOSOPHER
+
+    A Grecian youth, of talents rare,
+    Whom Plato's philosophic care
+    Had formed for Virtue's nobler view,
+    By precept and example too,
+    Would often boast his matchless skill
+    To curb the steed, and guide the wheel;
+    And as he passed the gazing throng
+    With graceful ease, and smack'd the thong,
+    The idiot wonder they expressed,
+    Was praise and transport to his breast.
+
+    At length, quite vain, he needs would show
+    His master what his art could do;
+    And bade his slaves the chariot lead
+    To Academus' sacred shade.
+    The trembling grove confessed its fright,
+    The wood-nymphs started at the sight;
+    The Muses drop the learned lyre,
+    And to their inmost shades retire.
+    Howe'er, the youth, with forward air,
+    Bows to the Sage, and mounts the car;
+    The lash resounds, the coursers spring,
+    The chariot marks the rolling ring;
+    And gathering crowds, with eager eyes,
+    And shouts, pursue him as he flies.
+
+    Triumphant to the goal returned,
+    With nobler thirst his bosom burned;
+    And now along the indented plain
+    The self-same track he marks again;
+    Pursues with care the nice design,
+    Nor ever deviates from the line.
+    Amazement seized the circling crowd;
+    The youths with emulation glowed;
+    E'en bearded sages hailed the boy,
+    And all but Plato gazed with joy.
+
+    For he, deep-judging sage, beheld
+    With pain the triumph of the field:
+    And when the charioteer drew nigh,
+    And, flushed with hope, had caught his eye,
+    "Alas! unhappy youth," he cried,
+    "Expect no praise from me," (and sighed);
+    "With indignation I survey
+    _Such skill and judgment thrown away:
+    The time profusely squandered there
+    On vulgar arts, beneath thy care,
+    If well employed, at less expense,
+    Had taught thee Honor, Virtue, Sense;
+    And raised thee from a coachman's fate,
+    To govern men, and guide the state_."
+
+One seldom finds a nicer selection of words than those of the last lines
+of these admonitory stanzas. With the wish that they may gratify your
+literary acumen, I am, as ever,
+
+  Your faithful friend,
+  HARRY LUNETTES.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER VIII.
+
+LETTER-WRITING.
+
+
+MY DEAR NEPHEWS:
+
+There is, perhaps, no form of composition with which it is as desirable
+to be practically familiar, and in which all educated persons should be
+accomplished, as that of _letter-writing_; yet no branch of an elegant
+education is more frequently neglected. Consequently, the grossest
+errors, and the utmost carelessness, are tolerated in regard to it.
+Rhetorical faults, and even ungrammatical expressions, are constantly
+overlooked, and illegibility has almost come to be regarded as an
+essential characteristic.
+
+Following the homely rule of the lightning-tamer, that "_nothing is
+worth doing at all that is not worth doing well_," you will not need
+argument to convince you of the propriety of attention to this subject,
+while forming habits of life.
+
+Different occasions and subjects require, of course, as various styles
+of epistolary composition. Thus the laconic language adapted to a formal
+business letter, would be wholly unsuited to one of friendship; and the
+playfulness that might be appropriate in a congratulatory
+communication, would be quite out of place in a letter of condolence.
+
+While it is impossible that any general rules can be laid down that will
+be always applicable in individual cases, a few directions of universal
+application may, not inappropriately, be introduced in connection with
+our present purpose.
+
+The principal requisites of _Letters of Business_ are,
+_intelligibility_, _legibility_, and _brevity_. To secure the first of
+these essentials, a clear, concise, expressive selection of language is
+required. Each word and sentence should express _exactly_ and
+_unequivocally_ the idea intended to be conveyed, and in _characters_
+that will not obscure the sense by doubtful _legibility_. A legible hand
+should certainly be as essential as intelligible utterance. We pity the
+man who by stammering, or stuttering, not only taxes the time and
+patience of his hearers, but leaves them, at times, uncertain of his
+meaning, despite their efforts to comprehend him. What, then, is the
+misfortune of those who, like the most genial of wits, 'decline to read
+their own writing, after it is twenty-four hours old!' Do not, I pray
+you, let any absurd impression respecting the excusableness of this
+defect, on the score that _genius is superior to the trifles of detail_,
+etc., lead you either into carelessness or indifference on the subject.
+Few men have the excuse of possessing the dangerous gift of genius, and
+to affect the weaknesses by which it is sometimes accompanied, is
+equally silly and contemptible. A man of sense will aim at attaining a
+true standard of right, not at caricaturing a defective model. Depend
+upon it, a _good business-hand_ is no small recommendation to young men
+seeking employment in any of the occupations of life. The propriety of
+_brevity_ in letters of business, will at once commend itself to your
+attention. Time--the wealth of the busy--is thus saved for two parties.
+But remember, I repeat, that, while this precious treasure is best
+secured by expressing what you wish to communicate in as few words as
+possible, nothing is gained by leaving your precise meaning doubtful, by
+unauthorized abbreviations, confused sentences, or the omission of any
+essential--as a date, address, proper signature, important question, or
+item of information. Let me add, that _rapidity of mechanical execution_
+is of no mean importance in this regard.
+
+_Letters of Introduction_ should be so expressed as to afford the reader
+a clue to the particular purpose of the bearer in desiring his
+acquaintance, if any such there be. This will prevent the awkwardness of
+a personal explanation, and furnish a convenient theme for the
+commencement of a conversation between strangers. Thus, if it be simply
+a friend, travelling in search of pleasure and general information, whom
+you wish to commend to the general civilities of another friend, some
+such form as the following will suffice:
+
+  ---- ---- ----
+
+  MY DEAR SIR:
+
+  Allow me the pleasure of introducing to you my friend, Mr. ----
+  ----, a gentleman whose intelligence and acquirements render his
+  acquaintance an acquisition to all who are favored with his
+  society. Mr. ---- visits your city [or town, or part of the
+  country, or, your celebrated city, or, your enterprising town, or
+  your far-famed State, etc.] merely as an _observant traveller_.
+  Such attentions as it may be agreeable to you to render him will
+  oblige
+
+  Your sincere friend,
+  and obedient servant,
+  ---- ----.
+
+  To Hon. ---- ----
+
+When you wish to write a letter of introduction for a person seeking a
+situation in business, a place of residence, scientific information, or
+the like; briefly, but distinctly, state this to your correspondent,
+together with any circumstance creditable to the bearer, or which it
+will be advantageous to him to have known, which you can safely venture
+to avouch. (No one is in any degree bound by individual regard to impair
+his reputation for probity or veracity in this, or any other respect.)
+
+A letter introducing an Artist, a Lecturer, etc., should contain some
+allusion to the professional reputation of the bearer--thus:
+
+  ---- ---- ----
+
+  MY DEAR WILLIAMSON:
+
+  This will be presented to you by our distinguished countryman, Mr.
+  ---- ----, who proposes a brief visit to your enterprising city,
+  chiefly for professional purposes. It affords me great pleasure to
+  be the means of securing to friends whom I so highly value, the
+  gratification I feel assured you and Mr. ---- will derive from
+  knowing each other.
+
+  With the best wishes for your mutual success and happiness, I am,
+  my dear sir,
+
+  Very truly yours,
+  ---- ----.
+
+  To ---- ----, Esq.
+
+In the instance of a celebrity, occupying at the time a space in the
+world's eye, something like this will suffice:
+
+  BOSTON, _August 1st, 1863_.
+
+  MY DEAR FRIEND:
+
+  It gives me pleasure to present to your acquaintance a gentleman
+  from whose society you cannot fail to derive high enjoyment. Mr.
+  ---- [or the Hon. ----, or Gen. ----][8] needs no eulogy of mine
+  to render his reputation familiar to you, identified as it is with
+  the literature of our country [or the scientific fame, or the
+  eloquence of the pulpit, etc.] Commending my friend to your
+  courtesy, believe me, my dear Jones,
+
+  Truly your friend and servant,
+  ---- ----.
+  Rev. ---- ----.
+
+    [8] Always be scrupulously careful to give _titles_, and with
+    accuracy. The proper designation of a _gentleman_ not in office,
+    is--_Esquire_. (This, of course, should not be given to a tradesman,
+    or menial.) That of a judge, member of Congress, mayor of a city,
+    member of a State legislature, etc., etc., is--_Honorable_; that of a
+    clergyman--_Reverend_; that of a bishop--_Right Reverend_. You are,
+    of course, familiar with the proper _abbreviations_ for these titles.
+    In writing the address of a letter, it is desirable to know the
+    _Christian_ name of the person to whom it is to be directed. Thus, if
+    a physician, "Charles Jones, M. D.," is better than "Dr. Jones." So,
+    "Dr. De Lancey," or "Bishop Potter," are obviously improper. The
+    correct form to be used in this instance, is:
+
+    "_To the "Right Rev. Alonzo Potter, D. D._"
+
+    The proper address of a _Minister_ representing our government
+    abroad, is--"the Honorable ---- ----, Minister for the U.S. of
+    America, near the Court of St. James, or St. Cloud," etc. That of a
+    _Charge d'Affaires_, or Consul, etc., varies with their respective
+    offices. A _Charge d'Affaires_ is sometimes familiarly spoken of as
+    "_Our Charge_," at such a Court--or as the "_American Charge_."
+
+    A clergyman may be addressed as "_Rev. Mr._ ----," if you do not know
+    the first name, or _initial_, and so may a doctor of divinity; but in
+    the latter case it would, perhaps, be better to write--"Rev. Dr.
+    James,"--though the more accurate mode will still be, if attainable,
+    "Rev. William James, D.D."
+
+    Gentlemen of the Army and Navy should always be designated by their
+    proper titles, and it is well not to be ignorant that a man in either
+    of these professions, when
+
+               "He hath got his sword ...
+        And seems to know the use on't,"
+
+    may not like to be reminded that the _slow promotion_ he has attained
+    is _unknown to his friends_!
+
+Letters of introduction should always be _unsealed_, and, as a rule,
+should relate only to the affairs of the bearer, not even passingly to
+those of the writer or his correspondent. When it is desirable to write
+what cannot, for any reason, be properly introduced into the open
+letter, a separate and _sealed_ communication may be written and sent,
+with a polite apology, or brief explanation, with the other.
+
+When letters of introduction are delivered in person, they should be
+sent by the servant who admits you, together with your card, to the lady
+or gentleman to whom they are addressed, as the most convenient mode of
+announcing yourself, and the object of your visit.
+
+When you do not find the person you wish to see, write your _temporary
+address_ upon your card, as "At the American Hotel"--"With Mrs. Henry,
+22 Washington-st."--"At Hon. John Berkley's," etc. Should you _send_
+your letter, accompany it by your card and _present_ address, and
+inclose both together in an envelope directed to the person for whom
+they are designed. When your stay is limited and brief, it is suitable
+to add upon your card, together with an accurate _date_--"For to-day,"
+or, "To remain but two or three days." And in case of any explanation,
+or apology, or request being requisite, such as you would have made in a
+_personal_ interview, write _a note_, to be inclosed with the letter of
+presentation. Every omission of these courtesies that may occasion
+trouble, or inconvenience to others, is ill-bred, and may easily serve
+to prejudice strangers against you.
+
+Sometimes it is well to make an appointment through the card you leave,
+or send, with a letter, or for a stranger whom you wish to meet, as--"At
+the Globe Hotel, _this evening_," with a date, or thus--"Will pay his
+respects to Mrs. ----, to-morrow morning, with her permission."
+
+A letter introducing a young man, still "unknown to fame," to a lady of
+fashion, or of distinguished social position, may be expressed somewhat
+in this manner:
+
+  _To
+  Mrs. Modish,[9]
+  No. 14 Belgrave Place,
+  Charleston, S. C._
+
+  ASTOR HOUSE, NEW YORK, _Jan. 27th, 1863_.
+
+  DEAR MADAM:
+
+  Permit me to present to you my friend, Mr. James Stuart--a
+  gentleman whose polished manners and irreproachable character
+  embolden me to request for him the honor of an acquaintance with
+  even so fastidious and accomplished an arbiter of fashion as
+  yourself.
+
+  Mr. Stuart will be able to give you all the information you may
+  desire respecting our mutual friends and acquaintances in society
+  here.
+
+  Do me the honor to make my very respectful compliments to the
+  Misses Modish, and to believe me, dear madam,
+
+  Most respectfully,
+  Your friend and servant,
+  ROBERT B. HAWKS.
+
+  MRS. MODISH.
+
+    [9] It is etiquette to address communications to a lady according to
+    the style she adopts for _her card_. Thus, the elder of two married
+    ladies, bearing the same name and of the same family, may properly
+    designate herself simply as Mrs. ----, without any Christian name
+    (her position in society and the addition upon her card, of her
+    _locale_ being supposed sufficient to identify her). The wives of her
+    youngest brother, or those of her sons, are then "Mrs. N. C. ----,"
+    "Mrs. Charles ----," and so on. The eldest of a family of sisters is,
+    "Miss ----," the younger are "Miss Nellie ----," "Miss Julia ----,"
+    etc. In writing to, or conversing with them, you thus individualize
+    them. But when you are upon ceremonious terms with them, _in the
+    absence of the elder,_ you address one of the younger sisters, with
+    whom you are conversing, as "Miss ----," only, omitting the
+    individualizing Christian name. Of course, when writing under such
+    circumstances, a note of ceremony designed for the young ladies of a
+    family, collectively, should be addressed to "_The Misses_ ----;" and
+    if for one of them, alone, to "Miss ----," or, "Miss Mary G. ----,"
+    as the case may be.
+
+Letters presenting _foreigners_, should designate the country and
+particular locality to which they belong, as well as the purpose of
+their tour, as--"The Chevalier Bonne, of Berne, Switzerland whose object
+in visiting our young Republic is not only the wish to compare our
+social and political institutions with those of his own country, but the
+collection of _specimens_ and _information_ respecting the _Natural
+History_ of the United States. Such assistance as you may be able to
+render my learned friend, in facilitating his particular researches,
+will confer a favor upon me, my dear sir, which I shall ever gratefully
+remember," etc., etc.
+
+The subject of letters of introduction naturally suggests that of
+_personal introductions_, in relation to which the grossest mistakes and
+the greatest carelessness are prevalent, even among well-bred people.
+
+In making persons acquainted with each other, the form of words may vary
+almost with every different occasion, but there are certain rules that
+should never be overlooked, since they refer to considerations of
+abstract propriety.
+
+Younger persons and inferiors in social rank, should, almost invariably,
+be _presented to_ their seniors and superiors. Thus, one should not
+say--"Mr. Smith, let me introduce Mr. Washington Irving to you," but
+"Mr. Irving, will you allow me to introduce Mr. John Smith to you?" Or,
+"Permit me to present Mr. Smith to you, sir," presupposing that Mr.
+Smith does not need to be informed to whom he is about to be introduced.
+It is difficult to express upon paper the difference of signification
+conveyed by the mode of _intonating_ a sentence. "General Scott, Mr.
+Jones," may be so pronounced as to present the latter gentlemen to our
+distinguished countryman, in a simple, but admissible manner, or it may
+illustrate the impropriety of naming a man of mark to a person who makes
+no pretensions to social equality with him.
+
+Usually, men should be introduced to women, upon the principle that
+precedence is always yielded to the latter; but, even in this case, an
+exception may properly be made in the instance of an introduction
+between a _very young_, or, otherwise, wholly unindividualized woman,
+and a man of high position, or of venerable age. A half-playful
+variation from the ordinary phraseology of this ceremony, may sometimes
+be adopted, under such circumstances, with good taste, as--"This young
+lady desires the pleasure of knowing you, sir--Miss Williams," or, "Mr.
+Prescott, this is my niece, Miss Ada Byron Robinson."
+
+When there is a "distinction without a difference" between two persons,
+or when hospitality interdicts your assuming to decide a nice point in
+this regard, it may be waived by merely _naming_ the parties in such a
+way as to give precedence to neither--thus: "Gentlemen, allow me--Mr.
+W----, Mr. V----," or, "Gentlemen, allow me the pleasure of making you
+known to each other," and then simply pronounce the names of the two
+persons.
+
+By the way, let me call your attention to the importance of an _audible_
+and _distinct_ enunciation of _names_, when assuming to make an
+introduction. A _quiet, self-possessed manner_, and _intelligibility_
+should be regarded as essential at such times.
+
+When introducing persons who are necessarily wholly unacquainted with
+each other's antecedents of station or circumstance, it is eminently
+proper to add a brief explanation, as--"Mr. Preudhomne, let me introduce
+my brother-in-law, General Peters,--Mr. Preudhomne, of Paris," or; "Mrs.
+Blandon, with your permission, I will present to you Senor Abenno, a
+Spanish gentleman. Senor A. speaks French perfectly, but is unacquainted
+with our language;" or, "Mr. Smithson, this is my friend Mr. Brown, of
+Philadelphia--like ourselves, _a merchant_;" or, "My dear, this is
+Captain Blevin, of the good ship Neversink,--Mrs. Nephews, sir."
+
+Never say "My wife," or "My daughter," or "My sister," "My
+father-in-law," or the like, without giving each their proper
+ceremonious title. How should a stranger know whether your "daughter"
+is--
+
+    "Sole daughter of your house and heart,"
+
+or Miss "Lucy," or "Belinda," the third or fourth in the order of time,
+and, consequently, of precedence, or what may chance to be the name of
+your father-in-law, or half-sister, etc., etc.
+
+Well-bred people address each other by name, when conversing, and hence
+the awkwardness occasioned by this vulgar habit, which is only equalled
+by that of speaking of your wife as "My wife,"[10] or worse still, "_my
+lady!_" Is it not enough, when your friends know that you are married,
+and are perfectly familiar with your own name, to speak of "Mrs. ----,"
+and to introduce them to the mistress of your house by that designation?
+
+It is a solecism in good manners to suppose it unsuitable to designate
+the members of your own family by their proper titles under all
+circumstances that would render it suitable and convenient to do so in
+the instance of other persons. Never fall into the _American_
+peculiarity on this point, I entreat you. Say--"My father, Dr. V----,"
+or "My sister, Miss V----," "Mrs. Col. V----, my sister-in-law," or, "My
+sister, Mrs. John Jenkins," with as scrupulous a regard for rank and
+precedence, as though dealing with strangers. Indeed, you virtually
+_ignore all personal considerations_, while acting in a social relation
+merely.
+
+  [10] This reminds me of another habit that is becoming prevalent in
+  this _new_ land of ours--that of men's entering themselves upon the
+  Registers of Hotels, Ocean Steamers, etc., as "M. A. Timeson and
+  _lady_!" or, "Mr. G. Simpson and _wife_." What can possibly be the
+  objection to the good old established form of "Mr. and Mrs. M. A.
+  Timeson," or "George and Mrs. Simpson," or "Mr. G. Simpson. Mrs. and
+  the Misses Simpson?"
+
+The rules of etiquette very properly interdict _indiscriminate
+introductions_ in general society. No one has a right to thrust the
+acquaintance of persons upon each other without their permission, or, at
+least, without some assurance that it will be agreeable to them to know
+each other. Strangers meeting at the house of a mutual friend, in a
+morning visit, or the like, converse with each other, or join in the
+general conversation without an introduction, which it is not usual
+among fashionable people to give under such circumstances. If you wish
+to present a gentleman of your acquaintance to a lady, you first ask her
+permission, either in person or by note, to take him to her house, if
+she be married, or to do so at a party, etc., where you may chance to
+meet her. In the instance of a very young lady, propriety demands your
+obtaining the consent of one of her parents before adding to her list of
+male acquaintances, unless you are upon such terms of intimacy with her
+family and herself, as to render this superfluous; and so with all your
+friends. It is better, however, even where unceremoniousness is
+admissible, to err upon the safer side.
+
+Among men, greater license may be taken; but, _as a rule_, I repeat,
+persons are _not_ introduced in the street, in pump-rooms, in the public
+parlors of hotels, or watering-places, meeting incidentally at
+receptions or at morning visits, etc.; and not even when they are your
+guests at large dinners, or soirees, without their previous assent or
+request.
+
+Of course, such rules, like all the laws of convention, are established
+and followed for convenience, and should not be regarded, like those of
+the Medes and Persians, as unchangeable. Good sense and good feeling
+will vary them with the changes of circumstance. No amiable person, for
+instance, will hesitate to set them aside for the observance of the more
+imperative law of kindness, when associated with those who are ignorant
+of their existence (as many really excellent persons are), and would be
+pained by their strict observance. Neither should the most punctilious
+sticklers for form think it necessary to make a parade of the mere
+letter of such rules, at any time. It is the spirit we want, for the
+promotion of social convenience and propriety.
+
+Perhaps it may be as well in this connection as in any other, to say a
+word about the matter of _visiting cards_.
+
+Fashion sanctions a variety of forms for this necessary appendage. In
+Europe, it is very common to affix the professional or political title
+to the name, as "---- ----, Professor in the University of Heidelburg,"
+or, "---- ----, Conseiller d'Etat,"; and an Englishman in public life
+often has on his card the cabalistic characters--"In H.M.S."--(in Her
+Majesty's Service). Among the best-bred Americans, I think the prevalent
+usage is to adopt the _simple signature_, as "Henry Wise," or to prefix
+the title of Mr., as "Mr. Seward." Sometimes,--particularly for cards to
+be used away from home--the place of residence is also engraved in one
+corner below the name.[11]
+
+  [11] Persons belonging to the Army and Navy use their full titles, with
+  the addition of "U.S.A.," or "U.S.N."
+
+Europeans occasionally adopt the practice of having the corners of the
+reverse side of their cards engraven across with such convenient words
+as "_Pour dire Adieu_" (to say good bye). "_Congratulation_" (to offer
+congratulations). "_Pour affaire_" (on an errand, or on business).
+"_Arrive_" (tantamount to "_in town_"). The appropriate corner is turned
+over, as occasion requires, and the sentence is thus brought into notice
+on the _same side with the name_.
+
+_Business cards_ should never be used in social life, nor should
+flourishes, ornamental devices, or generally unintelligible characters
+be employed. A smooth, _white_ card, of moderate size, with a plain,
+legible inscription of the name, is in unexceptionable taste and _ton_,
+suitable for all occasions, and sufficient for all purposes, with the
+addition, when circumstances require it, of a pencilled word or
+sentence. But to return to our main subject.
+
+_Letters of Recommendation_ partake of the general character of those of
+introduction. It is sufficient to add, in regard to them, that they
+should be _conscientiously_ expressed. All that can be truthfully said
+for the advantage of the bearer, should be included; but, as I have
+before remarked, no one is obliged to compromise his own integrity to
+advance the interests of others in this manner, more than in any other.
+
+_Letters of Condolence_ require great care and delicacy of composition.
+They should relate chiefly, as a rule, to the subject by which they are
+elicited, and express _sympathy_ rather than aim at _administering
+consolation_. No general directions can be made to embrace the
+peculiarities of circumstance in this regard. Suffice it to say that the
+inspiration of genuine feeling will dictate rather expressions of kindly
+interest for the sufferer you address, of respect and regard for a
+departed friend, or an appreciation of the magnitude of the misfortune
+you deplore, rather than coldly polished sentences and prolonged
+reference to one's self.
+
+_Letters of Congratulation_ should embody cheerfulness and cordiality of
+sentiment, and be at an equal remove from an exaggeration of style,
+suggesting the idea of insincerity or of covert ridicule, and from
+chilling politeness, or indications of indifference. To "rejoice with
+those who rejoice" is indeed a pleasing and easy task for those who are
+blessed with a genial nature, and enrich themselves by partaking in the
+good fortune of others. Letters expressing this pleasure admit of a
+little more egotism than is sanctioned by decorum in some other cases.
+One may be allowed to allude to one's own feelings when so pleasurably
+associated with those of one's correspondent.
+
+_Brevity_ is quite admissible in letters both of condolence and
+felicitation--referring, as they properly do, chiefly to _one topic_; it
+is in better taste not to introduce extraneous matter into them,
+especially when they are of a merely ceremonious nature.
+
+_Letters to Superiors in Station or Age_ demand a respectful and laconic
+style. No familiarity of address, no colloquialisms, pleasantries, or
+digressions, are admissible in them. They should be commenced with a
+ceremoniously-respectful address carefully and concisely expressed, and
+concluded with an elaborate formula, of established phraseology. The
+name of the person to whom they are written should be placed near the
+lower, left hand edge of the sheet, together with his ceremonious title,
+etc. No abbreviations of words--and none of titles, unsanctioned by
+established usage, should be introduced into such letters, and they
+should bear at the commencement, below the date, and on the left hand
+side of the paper, the name of the person addressed, thus:
+
+  WASHINGTON CITY, _Feb. 2d, 1863_.
+  HONORABLE EDWARD EVERETT:--
+
+  SIR,
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+  I am, sir,
+  Very respectfully,
+  Your humble servant,
+  J. F. CARPENTER.
+
+  HON. EDWARD EVERETT,
+  Secretary of State, for the U. S.
+
+Be careful to remember that it is unsuitable to commence a communication
+to an _entire stranger_ an official letter, or one of ceremony, in reply
+to a gentleman acting in the name of a committee, etc., etc., with "Dear
+Sir." This familiarity is wholly out of place under such circumstances,
+and it is matter of surprise that our public men so frequently fall into
+it, even in addressing public functionaries representing foreign
+countries here, etc. In this respect, as in many others, their
+"quality," as that most discerning satirist, _Punch_, has recently said
+of the style of one of our men in high office--is not "_strained_!" The
+veterans of Diplomatic or of Congressional life should let us see that
+practice has refined their style of speaking and writing, rather than
+remind us that they have come to the _lees_ of intellect!
+
+I have, for several years past, remarked the published letters of one of
+the distinguished men of the Empire State, as models of graceful
+rhetoric and good taste. I refer now, not to the political opinions they
+may have expressed, but to their _literary execution_. They indicate the
+pen of genius--no matter what the occasion--whether declining to break
+ground for a canal, to lay the corner-stone of a university,
+acknowledging a public serenade, or expounding a political dogma, a
+certain indescribable something always redeems them alike from
+common-place ideas, and from inelegance of language. See if your
+newspaper profundity will enable you to "guess" the name of the
+individual to whom I refer.
+
+_Diplomatic Letters_ require a style peculiar to themselves, in relation
+to which it would be the height of temerity in me to adventure even a
+hint. The Public Documents of our own country and of England, afford
+models for those of you who shall have occasion for them, as members of
+the "Corps Diplomatique."
+
+_Letters of Friendship and Affection_ must, of course, vary in style
+with the occasions and the correspondents that elicit them. A light,
+easy, playful style is most appropriate. And one should aim rather at
+correctness of diction than at anything like an elaborate parade of
+language.
+
+_Grammatical inaccuracies_ and _vulgarisms_ are _never_ allowable among
+educated people, whether in speaking or writing; nor is _defective
+spelling_ excusable.
+
+_Punctuation_ and attention to the general rules of composition should
+not be overlooked, as thus only can unmistakable intelligibleness be
+secured.
+
+Avoid all ambitious pen-flourishes, and attempts at ornamental
+caligraphy, and aim at the acquisition of a legible, neat,
+gentleman-like hand, and a pure, manly, expressive style, in this most
+essential of all forms of composition.
+
+The possession of excellence in this accomplishment will enable you to
+disseminate high social and domestic pleasure. Nothing affords so
+gratifying a solace to friends, when separated, as the reception of
+those tokens of remembrance and regard. They only who have wandered far,
+far away from the ties of country, friends, and home, can fully
+appreciate the delight afforded by the reception of letters of a
+satisfactory character. And the welcome assurances of the safety,
+health, and happiness of the absent and loved, is the best consolation
+of home-friends.
+
+_Practice_, _patience_, and _tact_, are equally essential to the
+acquisition of ease and grace in this desirable art. _Wit_, _humor_, and
+_playfulness_ are its proper embellishments, and _variety_ should
+characterize its themes. A certain _egotism_, too, is not only
+pardonable, but absolutely requisite, and may even become delicately
+complimentary to the recipient of one's confidence.
+
+Let me remind you, too, that--though "offence of _spoken_ words" may be
+excused by the excitement of passing feeling--the deliberate commission
+of unkind, or, worse still, of unjust, untruthful, injurious language,
+to paper, argues an obliquity of moral vision little likely to secure
+the writer either
+
+    "What nothing earthly gives, or can destroy,
+    The _soul's calm sunshine_,"
+
+or the respect and regard of others.
+
+Facility in writing familiar letters may be increased by the habit of
+_mentally_ recording, before inditing them, as opportunity affords
+material, such incidents of travel, items of personal interest, or
+gossiping intelligence, etc., as may be thought best suited to the
+tastes of your correspondents. And it is well, before closing such
+communications, not only to glance over them to satisfy yourself of
+their freedom from mistakes, but by that means to recall any omission
+occasioned by forgetfulness.
+
+Notes of _Invitation_, of _Acceptance_, and _Regret_, require, of
+course, brevity and simplicity of expression. The _prevailing mode_ of
+the society you are connected with, is usually the proper guide in
+relation to these matters of form, for the time being. Thus the mere
+formula of social life at Washington, Boston, Charleston, Paris, or St.
+Petersburg, may be somewhat varied, as _usage_ alone frequently
+determines these niceties, and all eccentricities and peculiarities in
+this respect, as in most others, are in bad taste. Cards, or Notes, of
+Invitation to Dinners and Soirees, are frequently printed, and merely
+names and dates supplied in writing. The example of the _best society_
+(in the most elevated sense of that much-abused phrase) everywhere,
+sanctions only the most unpretending mode of expression and general
+style, for such occasions. The utmost beauty and exquisiteness of finish
+in the mere _material_, but the absence of all pretentious ornament, is
+thought most unexceptionable.
+
+_Invitations to Dinner_ should be acknowledged at your earliest
+convenience, and--whether accepted or declined--in courteously
+ceremonious phraseology. In the instance of invitations[12] to Balls and
+Evening-Parties, Weddings, etc., haste is not so essential; but a
+seasonable reply to such civilities should by no means be neglected.
+
+  [12] I was somewhat surprised lately, in perusing an agreeable novel,
+  written by one of our countrywomen, to observe her use of the word
+  "_ticket_" as synonymous with _invitation_, or _card of invitation_. A
+  "_ticket_" admits one to a concert, the opera, or theatre but one
+  receives an "_invitation_," or "_card of invitation_" to a dinner,
+  ball, or evening-party, at a friend's house. All misnomers of this kind
+  savor of under-breeding--they are _vulgarisms_, in short, unsanctioned
+  either by taste or fashion.
+
+When you wish to take a friend--who is a stranger to the hostess--with
+you to an evening entertainment, and are upon sufficiently established
+terms with her to make it quite proper to do so, acknowledge your
+invitation at once, and request permission to take your friend--thus
+affording an opportunity, if it is requisite, for the return of an
+invitation enclosed to you for your proposed companion. Some form like
+the following will answer the purpose:
+
+  Mr. Thomas Brown has the honor to accept Mrs. Mason's very polite
+  invitation for next Thursday evening.
+
+  With Mrs. Mason's permission, Mr. Brown will be accompanied by his
+  friend, Mr. Crawford, of Cincinnati, who is at present temporarily
+  in New York.
+
+  CARLTON HOUSE,
+  _Monday morning, December 28th_.
+
+Among intimate friends, it is sometimes most courteous, when _declining
+an invitation_, in place of a mere formal "regret" to indite a less
+ceremonious note, briefly explanatory, or apologetic. _Essential
+good-breeding_ is the best guide in these occasional deviations from
+ceremonious rules.
+
+Formal notes of invitation, and the like, should not be addressed to
+several persons inclusively. Of course, a gentleman and his wife are
+invited in this inclusive way, as are the unmarried sisters of a family,
+when residing in the same house; but visitors to one's friends, a
+married lady and her daughters, as well as the younger gentlemen of a
+family, should, severally, have separate notes, directed to them
+individually, where ceremony is requisite, though all may, for
+convenience, be enclosed in the same envelope, with a general direction
+to the elder lady of the house.
+
+Letters, or notes, commenced in the _third person_, should be continued
+throughout in the same form. It is obviously incorrect (though of
+frequent occurrence), to adopt such phraseology as--"Mr. Small presents
+his compliments to Miss Jones," etc., and to conclude with "Yours
+respectfully, G. Small." This mode of expression (the third person), is
+only adapted to brief communications of a formal nature. No _address and
+signature_ are required when the names of the recipient and of the
+writer are introduced into the body of the note, as they necessarily
+are. The place of residence (if written), and the date, are placed at
+the left hand side of the paper, _below_ the principal contents.
+
+Letters designed to be mailed--such as are written to persons living at
+a distance from your own place of residence--should have your proper
+_mail address_ legibly written on the right hand side of your sheet,
+_above_ the rest of the communication, together with the date.
+
+Notes addressed to persons residing in the same place with yourself,
+require only the name of the street you reside in, and your number, with
+the _day of the week_--as "Clinton Place, Thursday P. M.," or, "No. 6
+Great Jones St., Monday morning"--which is usually placed below the
+other portions of the missive. It is usual to write _short notes of
+ceremony_ so as to have the few lines composing them in _the middle_ of
+the small sheet used.
+
+Forms of signature and address vary in accordance with the general tenor
+of letters. When they are of an entirely ceremonious character, or
+addressed to superiors, usage requires an elaborate address and
+subscription; but the style of familiar epistles permits throughout
+every variety of language that good taste and good feeling may invent or
+sanction. Only let there be a general harmony in your compositions. Do
+not fall into the inadvertency of the person who addressed a missive
+full of the most tender expressions of regard to his mistress, and
+signed it--"Yours respectfully, Clark, Smith & Co."
+
+_Legibility_, _Intelligibility_, and _Accuracy_ are requisite in the
+_direction_ of all epistolary compositions.
+
+Correct taste demands some attention to the subject of
+_Writing-Materials_. It is now becoming the practice to use small-sized
+paper for communications of ceremony and friendship, continuing the
+contents through several sheets, if necessary, and numbering each in
+proper succession. It is, also, usual to write ceremonious letters on
+but one side of a sheet, and to leave a wide margin upon the left hand
+side, and a narrower one on the opposite edge of the paper.
+
+The finest, smoothest paper should always be used, except for mere
+business matters; and, though some passing fashion may sanction tinted
+paper, pure white is always unexceptionable. All fancy ornaments,
+colored designs, etc., etc., are in questionable taste. If ornamental
+bordering, or initial lettering is adopted, the most chaste and
+unpretending should be preferred.
+
+Except for _mailing_, envelopes should correspond exactly with the sheet
+inclosed. Envelopes sent by post should be strong and large-sized.
+Sometimes it is well to re-enclose a small envelope, corresponding with
+the written sheet, in a large, firm cover, and to write the full
+direction upon that.
+
+Sealing wax should always be used for closing all epistles, except those
+of an entirely business nature. _Stamps_ and _seals_ may vary with
+taste. A plain form with an unbroken face, suffices; or initials, a
+device and motto, one or both; or hereditary heraldic designs may be
+preferred.
+
+Letters intended to go by mail on the continent of Europe, should be
+written on a single, large sheet of _thin_ paper, and _not enveloped_.
+
+_It is as ill-bred not to reply to a communication requiring an
+acknowledgment, or to neglect proper attention to all the several
+matters of importance to which it relates, as it is not to answer a
+question directly and personally addressed to you._
+
+_Promptitude_ is also demanded by good-breeding, in this regard.
+Necessity only can excuse the impoliteness of subjecting a friend, or
+business-correspondent, to inconvenience or anxiety, occasioned by delay
+in replying to important letters.
+
+Tyros in epistolary composition may derive advantage from noting the
+peculiar excellences of the published letters of celebrated authors and
+others; not for the purpose of servile imitation, but as affording
+useful general models, or guides. Miscellaneous readers may note the
+genial humor and patient elaborateness characterizing the letters of the
+"Great Unknown," the felicities of expression sometimes observable in
+the familiar missives of Byron, and of his friend Tom Moore (when the
+latter is not writing to his much-put-upon London publisher for
+table-supplies, etc.!) amuse himself with the gossiping capacity for
+details exhibited by those of Horace Walpole, and con, with wondering
+admiration, the epistolary illustrations of the well-disciplined,
+thoroughly-balanced character of the great American model, of whose
+writings it may always be said--whether an "order," written on a
+drum-head, or the draught of a document involving the interests of all
+humanity is the subject--that they are "_well done_."
+
+Among the collections of letters I remember to have read, none now occur
+to me as offering more variety of style than those included in the
+"Memoirs of H. More." They are a little old-fashioned now, perhaps; but
+some of them, both for matter and manner, are, in their way, unsurpassed
+in English literature. Some of those of _Sir W. W. Pepys_, I recollect
+as peculiarly pleasing.
+
+Several of the published letters of Dr. Johnson, and one or two of those
+of our own Franklin, are to be regarded as among the curiosities of
+literature, rather than as precedents which circumstances will ever
+render available, or desirable. Johnson's celebrated letter to Lord
+Chesterfield, declining his proffered patronage, for instance--and
+Franklin's, concluding with the witty sarcasm--
+
+  "You are now my enemy, and I am
+
+  "Yours,
+  B. FRANKLIN."
+
+At some future time, perhaps, the literary treasures of our country will
+be enriched by specimens of the correspondence of such of our
+contemporaries as inspire the highest admiration for their general style
+of composition. Who could fail to peruse with interest, letters from the
+pen of Prescott, who never makes even such a physical infirmity as his,
+a plea for inaccuracy, or carelessness of expression? And who would not
+hail with delight any draught presented by the bounteous hand of Irving,
+from,
+
+    "The well of English undefiled,"
+
+whence he himself has long quaffed the highest inspiration!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"There they are!" shouted James.
+
+"Here they come!" exclaimed Miss Mary Marston.
+
+"They have made good time, the lazy dogs, for once!" said I.
+
+"Oh, I'm so glad!" echoed the silvery cadences of Nettie Brown, who
+seemed about to dance to the music of her own merry voice.
+
+"I hope"----began the dove-like murmur of a fair invalid: she ceased,
+and her dewy eyes told all she would have said.
+
+"God grant us good news!" said our venerable _compagnon de voyage_,
+fervently, a shade of anxiety clouding his usually benignant
+countenance.
+
+"Ladies, excuse me! I beg you to remember that they may not bring
+anything--let me prepare you for a disappointment!" These words were
+uttered, with apparent reluctance, by a young man, whose pale face and
+dark melancholy eyes seemed to lend almost prophetic emphasis to his
+warning tones.
+
+Nettie ceased to clap her little hands; "Jovial James" looked as grave
+as his usually rollicking, fun-twinkling eyes permitted; the stately
+Mary could only look fixedly towards the approaching Arabs, the serenity
+of our patriarchal friend was more than ever disturbed; sweet Isidore
+grew marble pale, and leaned heavily back upon the sculptured pillar
+against which we had secured her camp-seat, and your uncle Hal--well!
+he is a "proverbial philosopher," you know!
+
+There we were, amid the solemn magnificence of the ruined palaces and
+temples of once-mighty Thebes.
+
+Our little party was gathered in front of the great Propylon of the
+famous Temple of Luxor, whose mysterious grandeur we had come many
+thousands of miles to behold. Massive pillars, covered with
+minutely-finished picture-writing and mystic hieroglyphics, sufficient
+for the life-long study of the curious student; enormous architraves,
+half-buried colossi, far-reaching colonnades, "grand, gloomy and
+peculiar;" the world-famed Memnon; the grim, tomb-hallowed
+mountains--all the wonders of the Nile, of _El Uksorein_, of Karnac,
+surrounded us!
+
+But humiliating reflections upon the mutability of human greatness and
+human power, the eager speculations of the disciples of Champollion,
+sarcophagi and sculptured ceilings, and scarabaei and Sesostris, alike
+sunk into matters of insignificance and indifference when compared with
+the expectation of _Letters from Home_!
+
+That most amiable and hospitable of Mussulmans, Mustapha Aga, _the
+traveller's friend_, had engaged the Sheik (heaven spare the mark!) of
+one of the squalid Arab villages, whose mud walls cluster upon the roofs
+of the grand halls and porticoes of ancient Thebes--reminding one of
+_animalculoe_ by comparison--to accompany my servant and one or two
+of our dusky satellites to a point in the vicinity, to which the
+American and English consuls at Cairo had engaged to forward our
+letters, etc.
+
+Our motley band of couriers was now seen advancing along the low bank of
+the river, and all was eager anticipation and impatience.
+
+The ceremony of distribution was speedily accomplished, and an observer
+of the scene, like our calm, silent host, the kindly Mustapha, might
+almost read the contents of the different letters of the several members
+of our little group reflected in the faces of each.
+
+"Jovial James" sunk down at once at the feet of the fair Nettie, who had
+sacrilegiously seated herself upon the edge of an open sarcophagus, with
+a lap full of treasures, before which her hoarded antiques--and she was
+the most indefatigable _collector_ of our corps--relapsed again into the
+nothingness from which her admiration had, for a time, redeemed them.
+Something very much like a tear glistened in the bright eyes of the
+frolicksome youth as he murmured, half-unconsciously "Mother," and
+sunshine and shadow played in quick succession over the mirroring
+features of the fair girl.
+
+The usually placid Mary Marston fairly turning her back upon us, beat a
+retreat towards a prostrate column and half-concealed herself among its
+crumbling fragments; and our sweet, fast-fading flower, for whose
+comfort each vied with the other, the beautiful Isidore, clasped her
+triple prizes between her slight palms, and folding them to her meek
+bosom, lifted her soft eyes toward the heaven that looked alike on Egypt
+and on her native land, and whispered "_Home!_ Oh, father take me
+_Home_!"
+
+"Not one word does Frank say about _remittances_--the most important of
+all subjects!" cried James, with his elbows on his knees, and a
+half-filled sheet held out before him in both hands. "He is the most
+provoking fellow!--just look, Nettie, how much blank paper, too, sent
+all the way from Manhattan Island to Upper Egypt," he added, with a
+serio-comic tap on the paper.
+
+"Good enough for you!" retorted his frequent tormentor; "you wouldn't
+write from Rome to him, as I begged you to"----
+
+"But, most amiable Miss _Consolation 'on a monument_, smiling at grief,'
+don't you recollect that _you_ favored him with three 'great big'
+sheets, crammed, crossed, and kissed"----
+
+"Do go away, James Wilson! you are a regular _squatter_, as they say at
+home; really, if you are not established on my skirt!" laughed his merry
+companion, reddening, however, at his skillful sally.
+
+James, well used to repulses, made not even a pretence of removing his
+quarters; but, tracing with his forefinger in the sand, began to tease
+his pretty neighbor for news from home, protesting that _men_ were the
+poorest letter-writers, and that _his_ correspondents in particular,
+_never said anything_!
+
+But what had become of the thoughtful friend whose warning voice had
+checked too eager expectation in his companions, whilst
+
+    ----"thou, oh Hope, with eyes so fair,"
+
+made wild tumult in each eager breast? I marked his face, as he stood
+apart from the excited group gathered about the bearer of our
+dispatches. It was almost as immobile and coldly calm as those of the
+polished colossi around us, save for the burning eyes that seemed
+actually to devour the several directions that were glanced over, or
+read aloud by others. His hands, too, were tightly clutched, as though
+he were thus self-sustained.--Poor fellow! I had frequently noticed his
+manner before, where the happiness of others arrested attention; it
+indicated, to me, a serenity like that of the expiring hero who waved
+his life-draught to another, hiding, with a smile, the outward signs of
+tortured nature! Almost before the last package was unfolded, he was
+advancing with rapid strides along the majestic avenue leading from our
+stand-point towards the ruins of Karnac, and was soon lost to sight amid
+its massive ornaments. How easily might some friendly hand have shed
+balm upon his sad and solitary spirit, on that memorable day in far-off
+Nile-Land, when so many hearts were gladdened with the sweet sunlight
+enkindled by _letters_!--so many faces illumined with smiles reflected
+from the ever-glowing altars of COUNTRY and HOME!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Sir Walter Scott, as his son-in-law informed me, despite the vast amount
+of intellectual labor he otherwise imposed upon himself, with as little
+flinching, apparently, as though his mind were a powerful
+self-regulating steam-engine, had the habit of _always answering letters
+on the day of their reception_! Mr. Lockhart told me that, during the
+researches he made among the private papers of his immortal friend,
+while preparing materials for his biography, he almost invariably
+remarked, from the careful notations upon them, that when any delay had
+occurred in replying to a letter, it arose from the necessity of some
+previous investigation, or the like. My astonishment upon perusing the
+long, elaborately-written epistles that Mr. Lockhart subsequently gave
+to the world, was augmented by my knowledge of this fact, and by my
+remembrance of the innumerable demands made upon his time by social and
+public duties. But "we ne'er shall look on his like again!" Well might
+his pen be styled the wand of the mighty Wizard of the North.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A gentle tap at the library-door interrupted the after-dinner chat of my
+old friend and myself. A fair young face presented itself in answer to
+the bidding of my host, and, upon seeing me was quickly withdrawn.
+
+"Come in, my daughter, come--what will you have?"
+
+I rose immediately to withdraw, as the young lady, thus encouraged,
+somewhat timidly advanced towards her father.
+
+"Pray, do not disturb yourself, Colonel Lunettes," said she; "I only
+want to speak to pa one moment; don't think of going away, I beg"----
+
+My host, too, interposed to prevent my leaving the room, and I,
+therefore, took up a book and re-seated myself.
+
+"Excuse me for interrupting you, pa, but may I"--here a whisper, and
+then so audibly that I could not help overhearing--"do please, dear pa!"
+
+"Well, we'll see about it--when is the concert?" rang out the clear
+voice of the father.
+
+"But, pa, I ought to answer the note to-night or very early to-morrow
+morning--it would not be polite to keep Mr. Blakeman"----
+
+"A note, eh?" interrupted the old gentleman, "let me see it--go bring it
+to me."
+
+I thought I could not be mistaken in the indication of reluctance to
+obey this direction evinced by the slow step of my usually
+sprightly-motioned young favorite.
+
+"Come, Fanny, come," said her father, when she re-entered, "you have no
+objection to showing _me_"----
+
+"Oh, no, indeed, pa,--but you are so critical," the young lady began to
+protest.
+
+"Critical! am I though!" exclaimed the parent, with some vivacity,
+"perhaps so--at least I judge somewhat, of a man's claims to the
+acquaintance of my daughter by these things." And, adjusting his
+spectacles, he opened the note his daughter offered. "Bless my soul!" he
+cried, at the first glance, "what bright-colored paper, and how many
+grand flourishes--really, my dear!" There was a brief silence and then
+the father said mildly, but firmly, "Fanny, I prefer that you should not
+accept this invitation."
+
+"Will you tell me why, pa?"
+
+"Because the writer is not a _gentleman_! No man of taste and refinement
+would write such a note as this to a lady, with whom he has only the
+ceremonious acquaintance that this young man has with you. He is
+evidently _illiterate_, too,--his note is not only inelegantly
+expressed, but it is mis-spelled"----
+
+"Oh, pa"----
+
+"I assure you it is so. Your own education is more defective than it
+should be with the advantages you have had, if you cannot perceive
+this--read it again, and tell me what word is mis-spelled," said her
+father, returning the production under discussion to Fanny.
+
+The young lady sat down by the lamp to con the task assigned her, and my
+host said to me--"It is unpardonable, now-a-days, for a young man to be
+ignorant in such matters as these. When _we_ were young, Hal, the means
+of acquiring knowledge generally, were limited by circumstances; but who
+that wishes, lacks them at present?--Well, my daughter"----
+
+"Yes, pa, I see,--of course it was a mere slip of the pen"----
+
+"A slip of the pen!" retorted the father, "and is that a sufficient
+excuse? Proper respect will teach a young man of right feelings towards
+your sex, to take good care that no such carelessness retains a place in
+his first billet to a lady--it is an _indication of character_, my
+child! Depend upon it, that the man who writes in this way,--encircling
+some of his words with a flourish, abbreviating others, mis-spelling,
+and all upon mottled paper, with a highly _ornate_ border, does not
+understand himself, and will be guilty of other solecisms in good
+manners and good taste, that will be very likely to embarrass and shock
+a young lady accustomed to"----
+
+"The society of _gentlemen of the old school_, like pa and Col.
+Lunettes!" exclaimed Fanny, in her usual laughing manner, snatching up
+the condemned missive, and flying out of the room.
+
+In the course of the evening, my old friend and I joined the ladies in
+the drawing-room.
+
+A merry group around a centre-table, attracted me, and as the fair Fanny
+made a place beside her agreeable little self for me, I was soon settled
+to my satisfaction in the midst of the fair bevy.
+
+"What are you all so busy about?" I inquired, as I seated myself.
+
+"Oh, criticising!" cried one.
+
+"Acquiring knowledge under difficulties," replied another.
+
+"Accomplishing ourselves in the Art Epistolary, by the study of models!"
+returned a third.
+
+And sure enough,--the table was strewed with cards, and notes, and an
+empty fancy-basket told where these sportive critics had obtained their
+materials. I soon gathered that the scrutiny Fanny's note had undergone
+in the library, was the moving cause of this sudden resuscitation of
+defunct billet-doux and forgotten cards.
+
+"Only look at this one, Col. Lunettes!" exclaimed a pretty girl opposite
+me, handing across a visiting card, with the name written with ink, in
+rather cramped characters, and surrounded with a variety of awkward
+attempts at ornamental flourishes. "Isn't that sufficient to condemn the
+perpetrator to 'durance vile' in the _paradise of fools_?"
+
+"Well, here is a beautiful note, at any rate," exclaimed the eldest
+daughter of the house, "even papa would not find fault with this"--
+
+"What are you saying about papa?" inquired the master of the mansion,
+pausing in his walk up and down the room, and leaning upon the back of
+his daughter's chair.
+
+"Won't you join us, sir?" returned the young lady, making a motion to
+rise; "let me give you my seat."
+
+"No, no, sit still, child--let us hear the note that you think
+unexceptionable."
+
+"It is as simple as possible," said she, "but though it only relates to
+a matter of business, I remember noticing, when I opened it, the elegant
+writing and"----
+
+"Well, let us hear it, my daughter."
+
+Thus impelled, the fair reader began:
+
+  "Henry Wynkoop presents his respectful compliments to Miss Campbell,
+  and begs leave to inform her that the goods for which she inquired, a
+  few days since, have arrived, and are now ready for her inspection.
+
+  "240 MAIN ST.,
+  _Wednesday Morning, May 22d._"
+
+"I should have said," added Miss Campbell, "that I had simply requested
+Mr. Wynkoop to send me word about some shawls, when any of the family
+happened in there, and did not think of troubling him to send a note."
+
+"Let me see," said her father, taking the paper from her hand, "yes!
+just what one might expect from that young fellow--fine, handsome, plain
+paper [a glance at poor Fanny] and a neat modest seal--all because _a
+lady_ was in question; and one can read the writing as if it were print.
+Look at it, Lunettes! A promising young merchant--a friend of ours,
+here. An _educated_ merchant--what every man should be, who wishes to
+succeed in mercantile life in this country."
+
+"Yes," returned I, "ours is destined, if I do not greatly mistake, to be
+a land of _merchant princes_, like Venice of old, and I quite agree with
+you that American merchants should be _educated gentlemen_!"
+
+"This young Wynkoop," continued my friend, "is destined yet to fill some
+space in the world's eye, unless I have lost my power to judge of men.
+He seems to find time for everything--the other evening he was
+here--(the girls had some young friends)--and, happening to step into
+the library, I found him standing with one of the book-cases open, and
+just reaching down a volume--'I beg your pardon, sir, if I intrude,'
+said he, 'but I was going to look for a passage in the "Deserted
+Village," as I am not so fortunate as to possess a copy of Goldsmith.'
+Of course I assured him that the books were all at his service, and
+apologized for closing the door, and seating myself at my desk, saying
+that a rascally Canadian lawyer had sent me a letter so badly written
+that I could scarcely puzzle it out, and that his bad French was almost
+unintelligible at that. I confess I was surprised when he offered to
+assist me, saying very modestly, that nothing was more confusing than
+_patois_ to the uninitiated, but that he had chanced to have some
+experience in it. So he helped me out very cleverly, in spite of my
+protestations at his losing so much time, and when he found he could not
+aid me farther, looked up his lines, put back my book, and quietly
+bowing, slipped out of the room. When I went back to the girls, later in
+the evening, I heard my young friend singing with some lady, in a fine
+clear voice, and, soon after, discovered him in another room dancing,
+'_money musk_' with my own wife for his partner!"
+
+While this little sketch was in progress of narration, the inspection of
+the miscellaneous display upon the table had been silently progressing.
+And each pretty critic had made some discovery.
+
+"Here is a 'regret' sent for the other night," said Fanny, "what do you
+think of that, Col. Lunettes?" And a large sheet of note paper was put
+into my hand, clumsily folded, and containing only the words "Mr.
+Augustus Simpkin regrets."
+
+"A good deal is left for the imagination," I replied, "regrets what?"
+
+"_That he is a numskull_, perhaps, but I fear there is not that
+encouragement for his improvement!" broke in the Chairman of this
+Committee of Investigation.
+
+The general laugh that followed this spicy comment had no sooner
+subsided, than another note caught my eye, by its handsome penmanship.
+Glancing it over, I handed it to one of the young ladies without
+comment. She 'looked unutterable things,' as she quietly refolded the
+missive, and was about to slip it out of sight; but the dancing eyes of
+the lively Fanny had caught the whole movement, and she insisted upon
+what she called _fair play_. So the paper was again subjected to
+perusal--this time aloud.
+
+  BALTIMORE, _July 24, '61_.
+
+  "William Jones takes this means of making an apology for not calling
+  for Miss Mary last evening. I assure you no offence was intended, and
+  hope you did not take it so.
+
+  "Yours affectionately,
+  "P. WILLIAM JONES.
+
+  "The MISS CAMPBELLS."
+
+"How did that get into the card-basket?" exclaimed Miss Campbell, in
+consternation, "it ought to have been destroyed at the time"----
+
+"It has risen up in judgment against the writer now," said Fanny, "but
+he is much improved since then. He knows better now than to say 'the
+_Miss Campbells_', or"----
+
+"Or sign himself 'Yours affectionately,' to a document commenced in the
+third person. So he does, child, and he proved himself essentially
+polite by writing the note--the hand is really very commendable. I have
+no doubt the young man will yet acquire considerable _note-ability_!"
+And throwing the tell-tale paper into the fire, the charitable
+commentator proceeded in his walk.
+
+"_A propos_"--"_A propos_" was echoed round the merry circle, as a
+servant handed a note to Miss Campbell.
+
+"Miss Fanny Campbell," read her sister, and resigned the billet to its
+rightful owner.
+
+Every one protested that it should be common property, unless its
+contents were a secret; and the blushing, half-pouting beauty was
+constrained to open and inspect her note where she sat.
+
+"I insist upon _fair play_ in Miss Fanny's case, also," said I, coming
+to the rescue, "and shall do myself the honor of acting as her
+champion." With that I spread out her gossamer handkerchief, and
+throwing it over the top of my cane, affected to screen the rosy face
+beside me. Taking advantage of my _ruse_, my pretty favorite opened her
+note, and, partly retreating behind my broad shoulder, soon possessed
+herself of its contents.
+
+"There," said she, throwing it into the middle of the table, "you may
+all read it and welcome!"
+
+Brown heads and black, sunny curls and chestnut "bands," were
+immediately clustered together over the prize, and Fanny, springing
+away, like a bird, was, in a moment, perched on an arm of the large
+chair in which her father was now ensconced, with her arm around his
+neck, and her beaming eyes glancing out from his snowy locks.
+
+"Let Colonel Lunettes see it, you rude creatures!" exclaimed my lively
+favorite, from her retreat, and the note was immediately presented to
+me. Wiping my glasses with deliberation suitable to the occasion, I
+"pressed my hand upon my throbbing heart," and read as follows:
+
+  "It will afford Mr. Howard Parkman great pleasure to attend Miss Fanny
+  Campbell to a Concert to be given by the "Hungarian Family," to-morrow
+  evening.
+
+  "If she will permit him that honor, Mrs. and Miss Parkman, accompanied
+  by Mr. P., will call for Miss Campbell at half past seven o clock.
+
+  "COLEMAN ST.,
+  "_Tuesday P. M._"
+
+"That's another rival for you, Colonel Lunettes," exclaimed one of the
+girls.
+
+"I fear my doom is sealed!" returned the old soldier thus addressed,
+with an air of mock resignation. "But who is this formidable youth, Miss
+Campbell?"
+
+"A Bostonian, I believe," replied the young lady; "cousin Charley
+introduced him to us at Mrs. Gay's ball the other evening, and asked us
+to call upon his mother and sister--they are friends of his. He was here
+this morning with cousin Charley, but we were out."
+
+"How stylish!" said one of our critical circle, re-examining the elegant
+billet of the stranger.
+
+"Quite _au fait_, too, you see, young ladies," I added, "he invites Miss
+Fanny to go with a proper _chaperon_ to the concert, as he is so
+slightly acquainted with her."
+
+As I limped across the room towards them, I heard my friend say to his
+daughter, who still retained her seat, "certainly, unless you prefer to
+go with Mr. Blakeman."
+
+"Oh, pa!" protested the sweet girl, "but what excuse shall I make to Mr.
+Blakeman?"
+
+"Tell him, in terms, that your father does not permit you to go anywhere,
+alone, with a young man with whom he has no acquaintance--Lunettes,
+you're not going?" rising as he spoke.
+
+"It is high time--my carriage must be waiting. Miss Fanny, permit me the
+privilege of an old friend,"--kissing her glowing cheek--and, as she
+skipped out into the hall with her father and me, I whispered--"About
+this young Bostonian? Is it all over with him?"
+
+"What, Hal--jealous?" exclaimed her father, laughing--"do you fear the
+flight of our gazelle, here?"
+
+"No danger of my eloping! No, indeed! at least with any one
+except--_Colonel Lunettes_!" replied the charming little witch, as her
+nimble fingers fastened my wrappings.
+
+"Bravo!" cried her father; "that would be glorious! Seventeen and"----
+
+"Eighty-two," interrupted your old uncle; "May and December! But,
+happily for me, fair Fanny, _my heart_ can never grow old while I have
+the happiness of knowing you."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I hope none of you will ever, even when writing in a foreign language,
+fall into the mistake made by a young Pole, with whom I once had a
+slight acquaintance. He was paying his addresses to a young lady, and,
+while most assiduously making his court to the fair object of his
+passion, was temporarily separated from her, by her leaving home on a
+pleasure excursion. At the first stopping-place of her party, the lady
+found a letter awaiting her, written in the neatest manner, and in
+excellent English--which her lover _spoke_ in a _very_ imperfect manner.
+It appeared to the recipient of this complimentary effusion, however, at
+the first glance, that its contents were not especially relevant to the
+occasion of a first _billet-doux_ from her admirer. Reading it more
+deliberately, something familiar in the language struck her suddenly,
+and after pondering a moment, she turned over the leaves of a new book
+which was among the literary stores of our travelling-party, and soon
+came to the exact counterpart of passage after passage, as recorded in
+the letter of the gallant Pole!
+
+The volume was, I think, "Hannah More's Memoirs," which had probably
+been recommended to the young student of our language by his teacher, or
+some friend, as containing good _specimens of the epistolary style_!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+With the hope that you may all escape being the subjects of such
+merriment as was occasioned by the discovery of my fair friend, I remain,
+as ever,
+
+  Affectionately yours,
+  HARRY LUNETTES.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER IX.
+
+ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
+
+
+MY DEAR NEPHEWS:
+
+Though accomplishments are a very poor substitute for the more
+substantial portions of a thorough education, no one should be so
+indifferent to the embellishments of life as wholly to neglect their
+cultivation.
+
+With Europeans some attention to this subject always makes part of a
+thorough education, but among a _new people_, differing so essentially
+from the nations of the Old World in social habits, the leisure and
+inclination that induce such a system of early discipline are both still
+wanting--speaking generally. It is not the lack of wealth--of that we
+have enough--but of a cultivated, discriminating taste, the growth of
+time and favoring circumstances, which is not yet diffused among us.
+But, though our young men, even of the more favored class, do not enjoy
+the carefully-elaborated system of early training, common abroad,
+personal effort will produce a result similar in effect, if
+well-directed and steadfastly pursued, and the best of all
+knowledge--that most beneficial in its influence upon character--is
+acquired by unaided individual exertion. Young Americans, above the men
+of all other countries, should lack no incentive to add, as occasion may
+permit, tasteful polish to the more essential solidity of mental
+acquirements.
+
+I know of nothing better calculated to foster refinement and purity of
+life than the cultivation of a _Taste_ for the _Fine Arts_. I do not
+refer to a _dillettante_ affectation of familiarity with the
+technicalities of artistic language, or to fashionable pretension and an
+assumption of connoisseurship, but to honest, manly, aesthetical
+perceptions, quickened and elevated by familiarity with the true
+principles of Art, and by the study of the highest productions of
+genius.
+
+Some knowledge of the practice, as well as of the principles of
+_drawing_, is a very agreeable and useful accomplishment, and one that
+may be acquired with little or no instruction, save that to be obtained
+from books.
+
+Among the advantages collaterally arising from familiarity with this
+art, is the increased quickness and enjoyment it lends to a _discernment
+of the beautiful_ in nature, both in its minute manifestations and its
+grand developments. A fondness for _sketching_ leads, also, to a
+partiality for rural excursions, and for the physical sciences; and all
+those tastes where the main purposes of life permit their indulgence,
+serve to elevate, refine, and expand the higher faculties, to give them
+habitual dominion over the propensities and to restrain sensuous
+enjoyments within their legitimate limits.
+
+_A Taste for Music_ must, of course, be ranked among the elegances of
+social life, but it should not be forgotten that a _practical knowledge_
+of any one branch of this Art has no direct effect to enlarge the mind,
+like that of Painting, for instance. It is only a sensuous pleasure,
+though a refined one, and is, as I have had frequent occasion to remark,
+too frequently permitted to engross both time and faculties that should
+properly be, in part, at least, more diffusively employed. Musical
+skill, though a pleasant acquirement, is not a sufficient substitute for
+an acquaintance with general Literature and Art; nor will its most
+exquisite exhibitions always furnish an equivalent for intellectual
+pleasures, whether of a personal or social nature.
+
+_Dancing_ should be early learned, not only because, like musical
+knowledge, it is a source of social and domestic enjoyment, but as
+materially assisting in the acquirement of an easy and graceful carriage
+and manner. It is a good antidote, too, to _mauvaise honte_, and almost
+essential among the minor accomplishments of a man of the world.
+
+_Riding_ and _Driving_ should never be neglected by those who possess
+the means of becoming familiar with them. Convenience, health and
+pleasure combine to recommend both. No indulgence of the _pride of
+skill_, however, should be permitted to exalt these accessories of a
+polite education into the main business of life, as I believe I have
+before reminded you.
+
+The _broadsword exercise_, _pistol-shooting_, _athletic sports and
+games_, _sporting_, _gymnastic exercises_, etc., etc., may be ranked
+among the minor manly accomplishments with which it is desirable to be
+familiar.
+
+Of no small importance, and of no insignificant rank as an
+accomplishment, is a _ready and graceful elocution_. Possessed by
+professional men, its value can scarcely be overrated, and no young man,
+whatever his aims in life, should esteem it unworthy of attention, since
+private as well as public life afford constant occasion for its
+exercise. To read _intelligibly_, _audibly_, and _agreeably_, to speak
+with taste and elegance, to address an audience--whether a mass
+assemblage of the sovereign people, or the servants of the people, in
+Congress assembled, or an intelligent audience gathered for intellectual
+instruction and enjoyment, each require careful and persevering
+practice, critical discrimination and disciplined taste. And what young
+American--with that control of circumstances which especially
+distinguishes us from all other peoples, with the high aspirations and
+purposes to which all are equally entitled--shall say that he will not
+have the most urgent occasion for, and derive high advantage from the
+acquisition of the _Art of Elocution_? But, apart from considerations of
+utility, correct speaking and writing are indispensable requisites to
+the privileges of good society, and elegant polish in this respect is
+the desirable result and certain indication of natural refinement.
+
+I will only add that elocutionary skill always affords the possessor the
+means of promoting social and domestic enjoyment, and that the finest
+sentiments and the most eloquent language lose half their proper effect
+when uttered in a mumbling or muttering tone, as well as in too loud or
+too low a voice.
+
+Closely allied to the accomplishment of which we have been speaking, is
+that of _Conversational ease and elegance_, an art in which all other
+nations are excelled by the French, and in which we, perhaps, most
+successfully emulate them.
+
+Unfortunately for our social advancement in this respect,
+
+    "_The well of English undefiled_"
+
+is not the only source from which the _vehicle of thought_ is derived.
+The use of slang phrases, of crack words, even among the better educated
+classes of society--and that in writing as well as in conversation--is
+becoming noticeably prevalent. Nothing can be more detrimental to the
+advancement of those who desire to acquire colloquial polish than the
+habit of using this inelegant language, and there is nothing into which
+one may glide more insensibly, when it becomes familiar from
+association.
+
+You will, perhaps, say that the amusement afforded to others by the
+occasional adoption of these mirth-provoking vulgarisms affords an
+apology for their use; and that would be a legitimate excuse, did the
+matter end there. But who can hope successfully to establish the line of
+demarcation that shall separate the legitimate sphere of their
+applicability from that in which they cannot properly claim a place? We
+know how much we are all under the dominion of _habit_ in regard to the
+artificial observances of life, and that once established, any practice
+in which we indulge ourselves may manifest itself unconsciously to us.
+Hence, then, it is no more safe to acquire the habit of interlarding our
+discourse with inelegances of expression, ungrammatical language,
+Yankeeisms, _localisms_ (to coin a word if it be not one, more
+expressive here than _provincialisms_) or vulgarisms of any kind, than
+to permit ourselves the perpetration of other solecisms in
+good-breeding, with the protection only of a _mental limitation_ to
+their undue encroachment upon our claims to refined associations.
+
+There is, therefore, no safe rule, except that dictating the unvarying
+adoption of the _purest and most expressive idiomatic English_ we can
+command. I remember to have heard it said of a celebrated
+conversationist, whom I knew in my younger days, that he not only always
+used a _good_ word to express his meaning, but the _very best_ word
+afforded by our language.
+
+The habit of _thinking clearly_ might naturally be supposed to produce
+the power of conveying ideas to others with distinctness, were not the
+impression controverted by much evidence to the contrary. I must
+believe, however, that the difference between persons, in this respect,
+arises more frequently from want of attention to the subject, than from
+all other causes combined. I know of no other way of sufficiently
+explaining the awkward, slipshod, unsatisfactory mode of talking so
+common even among educated people. Were we accustomed to regarding
+conversational pleasures as among the highest enjoyments of existence,
+and of making them a part of our daily life--as the French of all ranks
+do--a vast difference would exist between what is, and what might be.
+With what intensity of interest, with what vivacity of manner do the
+polite and cultivated French _talk_! The _salons_ of the leaders of
+_ton_ in Paris are nightly filled with the literati, the artists, the
+soldiers and statesmen concentered in that brilliant capitol. And they
+assemble not to eat, not even to dance, to the exclusion of all other
+gratifications, but to _talk_--to exchange ideas upon topics and
+incidents of passing interest--to receive and to communicate
+instruction, as well as enjoyment. And even the common people--whether
+eating their frugal evening repast at a little table placed in the
+street, or seated in groups in the garden of the Tuileries--how they
+talk! with what _abandon_--to use their own word--with what geniality,
+with what sprightliness! The very children, sporting like so many birds
+of gorgeous plumage, and musical tones, in the public gardens and
+promenades, prattle of matters interesting to them, with a graceful
+vivacity nowhere else to be seen. All classes give _themselves up to
+it--take time for it_, as one of the necessities of daily life! But I
+should apologize for this digression.
+
+The advantage of _habitual practice_, then, cannot be too highly
+commended to those who would acquire colloquial skill. There is, also,
+no better mode of fastening knowledge in the mind than by accustoming
+one's self to clothing ideas in spoken language, and the mere attempt to
+do so, gives distinctness to thought.
+
+But while fluency and ease are the results of practice, the
+_embellishments_ of _conversation_ require careful culture. Wit, Humor,
+Repartee, though to some extent natural gifts, may undoubtedly be
+improved, if not attained, by artificial training.
+
+It is said that Sheridan, one of the most celebrated wits and
+conversationists of his day, prepared himself for convivial occasions,
+like an intellectual gladiator, ready to enter the lists in a valiant
+struggle for supremacy. He may be said to have made Conversation a
+_Profession_, to which he gave his whole attention, as did the
+celebrated youth who exceeded all his fellows in the tie of his
+neck-cloth, to that mysterious art!
+
+Sheridan's practice was, to make brief notes, before going into society,
+of appropriate topics and witticisms for each occasion, upon which he
+relied for sustaining his reputation as a boon companion and
+accomplished talker. There is a good story told of his being
+exceedingly nonplussed, on some important occasion, by having his
+memoranda purloined by a friend, who, while waiting to accompany the wit
+to an entertainment to which both were invited, stole his thunder from
+his dressing-table, where it had been placed in readiness. The unlucky
+literary Boanerges was as powerless as Jupiter robbed of his bolts!
+
+But if one would not desire preparation as elaborately artificial as
+that ascribed to this spoiled fondling of English aristocracy, there
+seems to be a propriety in making some mental, as well as external
+arrangements before entering society. Thus, passingly to reflect, while
+making one's toilet for such an occasion, upon the general character of
+the company one is to meet, and upon the subjects most appropriate for
+conversation with those with whom one will probably be individually
+associated, may not be amiss. Nor will it be unwise to recall such
+reminiscences of personal adventures, popular intelligence, etc., as the
+day may have furnished.
+
+Happily, however, for those who distrust their power to surprise by
+erudition, or delight by wit, _good-sense_, accompanied by _good-humor_
+and _courtesy_, render their possessors the most enduringly agreeable of
+social and domestic companions. The _favorites of society_ are usually
+those who wound no one's self-love, either by imposing upon others a
+painful sense of inferiority, or by rudeness, impertinence, or
+assumption. Few have sufficient magnanimity to _forgive superiority_,
+but good-nature and politeness need no excuse with any.
+
+    "Oh, let the ungentle spirit learn from hence,
+    _A small unkindness is a great offence_!
+
+           *       *       *       *       *
+
+    _All may shun the guilt of giving pain._"
+
+Wit, however racy, should never find a place in conversation when
+pointed at the expense of another, and, indeed, _personalities_, even
+when free from condemnation on this score, are usually in bad taste.
+People of sensibility and refinement are much more likely to be annoyed
+than gratified by being made the auditors of conversation, even when
+politely intended, which brings them into especial notice.
+
+Hence, nothing requires more delicacy and tact than the _language of
+compliment_, which should always be carefully distinguished from that of
+mere flattery. The one is the expression of well-bred courtesy, the
+other is oppressive and embarrassing to all rightly constituted persons,
+and discreditable to the taste by which it is dictated.
+
+As a general rule, it is better to talk of things than of persons, and
+William Penn's rule to "_say nothing of others, unless you can say
+something good of them_," should have no exception. Let nothing tempt
+you into the habit of indulging in gossip, scandal, and unmanly
+puerility--not even a good-natured desire to assimilate yourself to the
+companionship of temporary associates. In this respect, as in many
+others,
+
+    "Vice is a monster of such hideous mien,
+    As to be hated, needs but to be seen;
+    But seen too oft, familiar with her face,
+    We first endure, then pity, then embrace."
+
+No conscientiously-enlightened man can reflect for a moment upon the
+heinousness of _slander_, or indeed of evil speaking when not allied
+with falsehood, without abhorrence; and yet, how few can assume that, in
+Heaven's High Chancery, there is no such dark record against them.
+
+Permit me to remind you that a mere difference of _intonation_ or of
+_emphasis_, in repeating conversational remarks, will sometimes suffice
+to convey a wholly erroneous impression to others, and that a mysterious
+glance, a nod, a shrug, a smile, may be made equivalent to the "offense
+of _spoken words_."
+
+I have recommended the adoption of good, pure English as the most
+unexceptionable colloquial coin. Recurring to this point, let me express
+the opinion that the most pretentious, or erudite language, is not
+always that best adapted to the purposes of practical life. No one is
+bound to speak ungrammatically or incorrectly, even when communicating
+with the illiterate, but the _simplest_ phraseology, as well as the most
+laconic, is often the most appropriate and expressive, under such
+circumstances.
+
+Companionship with the educated justifies the use, without justly
+incurring the charge of _pedantry_, of every mode of conveying ideas
+that we are assured is _intelligible_ to them. Thus classical scholars
+may use the learned languages, if they will, in mutual intercourse; and
+the popular and familiar words and phrases we have borrowed from the
+French, are often a convenient resource, under similar circumstances.
+All this is best regulated by good-breeding and taste. It is always
+desirable to err on the safe side, where there is a possibility of
+misapprehension, or of incurring the imputation of affectation, or of a
+love of display.
+
+This last consideration, by the way, affords an additional incentive to
+the selection of such companionship as is best suited to elicit the
+exercise of conversational grace, and stimulate the mental cultivation
+upon which it must be based. In addition to this advantage, is that thus
+afforded of familiarizing one's self with the usages of those who may be
+regarded as _models_ for the inexperienced. The modesty so becoming in
+the young, will inspire a wish to _listen_ rather than talk; but--though
+to be an attentive and interested listener is one of the most agreeable
+and expressive of compliments--remember that _practice_, if judiciously
+directed, cannot be too soon attempted, to secure this desirable
+attainment.
+
+These remarks, I am fully aware, have been desultory and digressive, but
+they were designed to be rather suggestive than satisfactory; and
+experimental knowledge will, I trust, more than compensate you for my
+conscious deficiencies. I will add only a general remark or two, and
+then no longer tax your patience.
+
+The ladies--dear creatures!--are most prone, it must be admitted, to the
+use of _exaggerated_ language, in conversation; with them the
+superlative form of the adjective will alone suffice for the full
+expression of feeling or opinion. But this peculiarity is by no means
+confined to those in whom enthusiasm and its natural expression are most
+becoming. The sterner sex are far from being exempt from this habit,
+which often involves _looseness of thought_, _inaccuracy of statement_,
+or _positive untruthfulness_. It is desirable, as _a point of ethics_,
+to practise care in this regard. Using the strongest forms of expression
+on ordinary occasions, leaves one no _reserved corps_ of language for
+those requiring unusual impressiveness. _Accuracy_ is the great
+essential, many times, in the choice of language. A clear idea, clearly
+and unequivocally expressed, is indicative of a good and
+well-disciplined intellect, each, as I have before intimated, the result
+of _attention_ and _practice_.
+
+Well-bred people are careful, when obliged to differ with others in
+conversation, to do so in polite language, and never to permit the
+certainty of being in the right to induce a dictatoral or assuming
+manner. When only a difference of opinion or of taste is involved, young
+persons, particularly, should scrupulously abstain from any appearance
+of obstinacy, or self-sufficiency, and defend their impressions, if at
+all, with a courteous deference to others. Usually, nothing is gained by
+argument in general society. No one is convinced, because no one wishes
+to be, and many persons, even when 'convinced, will argue still,'
+because unwilling, from wounded self-love, to admit it. Much acrimony of
+feeling is engendered in this way--pertinacity often causing an
+unpleasant conclusion to what was begun in entire good-feeling. No one
+is bound to renounce a claim to his individual rights in this respect,
+but modesty and courtesy will never sit ill upon the young, while
+steadfastly defending even a point of principle. "Never," said Mr.
+Madison, in an admirable letter of advice to a nephew, "_never forget
+that, precisely in proportion as you differ from others in opinion, they
+differ with you_." Let me add, that they who are honestly seeking
+knowledge and truth, will carefully review and re-weigh opinions,
+tastes, and principles in regard to which they find themselves differing
+essentially with those whom age, experience, and learning render their
+admitted superiors.
+
+And if contradiction and opinionativeness are inadmissible in good
+society, at least equal taste and tact are required in conveying
+information to others. Some graceful phrase, some self-renouncing
+admission or explanation, which may secure you from the envy or dislike
+that wounded vanity might otherwise engender, should not be forgotten
+when circumstance or education give you an advantage over others in the
+intercourse of domestic or social life.
+
+    "As in smooth oil the razor best is whet,
+    So wit is by politeness sharpest set;
+    Their want of edge from their offense is seen,
+    Both pain us least when exquisitely keen,
+    _The fame men give is for the joy they find_!"
+
+It is usually in bad taste to talk of one's self in general society.
+Humility of language, in this respect, may easily be interpreted into
+insincerity, and it is at least equally difficult, on the other hand, to
+avoid the imputation of egotism. Frankness with those to whom you are
+bound by the ties of friendship, will, many times, be the best proof you
+can give of the sincerity of your confidence and regard, but this will
+in no degree interfere with a certain _self-abnegation_ in ordinary
+social intercourse. Politeness may dictate our being listened to with a
+semblance of interest, when our own health, affairs, adventures, or
+misfortunes are the subject of detailed discourse on our part, but the
+sympathy of the world is not easily enkindled, and pity is often mingled
+with contempt. People go into society to be amused, not to have their
+courtesy taxed by appeals to sensibilities upon which others have no
+claim. Carlyle has well said, "_Silently swallow the chagrins of your
+position; every position has them_." And it is so; but one's "private
+griefs" are not lessened by exposure, nor made more endurable by being
+constantly the theme, either of one's thoughts or conversation. Let me
+add that their legitimate use is to teach us a ready sympathy with the
+sorrows and trials of others, rather than a hardened self-engrossment.
+
+While you endeavor, therefore, to
+
+    "Conceal yoursel' as weel's ye can
+      Frae critical dissection,"
+
+seek to excel in personal agreeability, not for the sake of superiority
+so much as to secure the means of giving pleasure to others, and of
+entitling yourself to the favorable regard of those whose society it is
+desirable to enjoy. Even the readiest admirers of wit may weary of the
+very brilliancy of its flashes, if the coruscations too constantly
+recur, as the eye tires of sheet-lightning, often repeated; but who will
+weary of geniality, amiability, and
+
+    "Good breeding, the blossom of good sense,"
+
+any sooner than will the eye of the lambent light of fair Diana?
+
+No single characteristic of conversation, perhaps, so universally
+commends the possessor to the favor of society, as _cheerfulness_. "_A
+laugh_," said an eminent observer of society, "_is the best vocal music;
+it is a glee in which everybody can take part!_" I remember, once, being
+for some weeks in a hotel with a number of invalids, one of whom, though
+a constant sufferer, always met me with a pleasant smile, and uttered
+his passing salutations in a voice cheery as a hunter's horn. Really,
+his simple "Good morning, Colonel Lunettes," was so replete with
+good-humor, courtesy, and cheerfulness, as to do one good like a
+cordial. It so impressed me that, at length, I responded, "Good morning,
+_cheerful sir_,--I believe you never fail to greet your friends in a
+manner that gives them pleasure." His pleasant smile grew pleasanter,
+and his bright eye brighter, as he replied--"I always make _a principle_
+of speaking cheerfully to the sick, especially--they, of all others, are
+most susceptible to outward impressions." "There is a world of
+philosophy, as well as of humanity, in what you say," returned I, "and I
+can personally testify to the good effects of your kindly habit."
+
+But it is not alone the sick, the sad, or the sensitive who hail a
+cheerful companion with delight--these _Human Sunbeams_ bring warmth and
+gladness to all--even the least susceptible feel the effects of their
+genial presence, almost unconsciously, and frequently seek and enjoy
+their conversation when even elegance and erudition would fail of
+attraction.
+
+The same tact and self-respect that will preserve you from exhibitions
+of vanity and egotism, will dictate discrimination in the selection of
+topics of conversation, bearing upon matters of taste and sentiment, as
+well as of opinion and principle.--All affectation or assumption of
+superiority in this respect is offensive and worse than useless. Those
+with whom you have mental affinities will understand and appreciate you;
+but beware, especially if sensitively constituted, how you expose your
+sensibilities to the ridicule, or your principles to the professed
+distrust of those with whom, for any reason, you cannot measure
+colloquial weapons upon entirely equal terms.
+
+On the contrary, again, no well-bred man ever rudely assails either the
+predilections or the principles of others in general society. This is no
+more the proper arena for intellectual conflicts than for political
+sparring, or theological disputes. Whatever tends to disturb the general
+harmony of a circle, or to give pain to any one present, is
+inexcusable, however truthful and important in the abstract, however
+wise or witty in itself considered, may be observations tending to
+either or both results.
+
+This brings me to dwelling a moment upon a kindred point--the
+discourtesy sometimes exhibited by young men towards ladies and
+clergymen, in the use of equivocal language, and the introduction of
+exceptionable subjects in their hearing. Anything that will crimson the
+cheek of true womanhood, or invade the _unconsciousness_ of _innocence_,
+is unworthy and unmanly, to a degree of which it is not easy to find
+language to express sufficient abhorrence. The defencelessness of the
+dependent sex, in this, as in all other respects, is their best
+protection with all who--
+
+    "Give the world assurance of a _man_!"
+
+And the same shield is presented by those whose profession precludes
+their adopting the means of self-defence permitted to the world at
+large. Nothing can be more vulgar--setting aside the immorality of the
+thing--than to speak disrespectfully of religion, or of its advocates
+and professors, in society--what then shall be said of those who assail
+the ears of the acknowledged champions of Christianity with infidel
+sentiments, contemptuous insinuations, or profane expletives? Depend
+upon it, a _man of the world_, whatever his honest doubts, or unorthodox
+convictions, will be as little likely to present himself as a mark in
+regard to these matters for the _suspicious distrust_, or the _palpable
+misapprehension_ of society, as to subject himself to the charges of
+extreme _juvenility_ and _low breeding_ by assailing a clergyman with
+ridicule, or a woman with libertinism, however exquisite may be his wit
+in the one case, or apparently refined his insinuations, in the other.
+
+While recommending to your attention the selection of suitable and
+tasteful subjects of general conversation, I should not omit to remind
+you that nothing but acknowledged intimacy sanctions the manifestation
+of curiosity respecting the affairs of others. As a rule, _direct
+questions_ are inadmissible in good society. Listen with politeness to
+what may be voluntarily communicated to you by your associates,
+regarding themselves, but on no account, indulge an impertinent
+curiosity in such matters; and when courtesy sanctions the manifestation
+of interest, express your desire for information in polite language, and
+with a half-apologetic manner, that will permit reserve, without
+embarrassment to either party. Let me add, that an uncalled-for
+exhibition of your familiarity with the private affairs of a friend,
+when his own presence and manner should furnish your proper clue to his
+wishes, is to prove yourself unworthy of his confidence. As well might
+one boast of his acquaintance with the great, or assume an unceremonious
+manner towards them, on unsuitable occasions. In either case, one is
+liable to the repulse sustained by an unfortunate candidate for
+fashionable distinction, who, approaching a member of English _haut ton_
+in the streets of London, said, "I believe I had the honor of knowing
+you in the country, sir."--"_When we again meet in the country_," was
+the reply, "I shall be pleased to renew the acquaintance!"
+
+_Quickness of repartee_ may be reckoned among the graces of the
+colloquial art, and those who are gifted with activity of intellect, and
+have acquired facility in the use of expressive language, should possess
+the power thus to embellish their social intercourse. Every one is now
+and then inspired in this way, I believe; but few persons,
+comparatively, even among the most practised conversationists, excel in
+this respect. How few, for instance, would have responded as readily, in
+an emergency, as did the half-drunk servant of Swift:
+
+"Is my fellow here?" inquired the Dean, pushing open the door of a low
+tavern much frequented by his often-missing _valet_.
+
+A nondescript figure came staggering forward, and stuttered out--"_Your
+L-Lordship's f-a-l-l-o-w can't b-be f-found in all I-Ire-Ireland!_"
+
+I have lately met, somewhere in my reading, with the following anecdote
+of the elder Adams, as he is frequently called. I remember, at this
+moment no better illustration of ready repartee:
+
+"How are you this morning, sir?" asked a friend who called to pay his
+respects to this patriotic son of New England, during the latter days of
+his life.
+
+"Not well," replied the invalid; "I am not well. I inhabit a weak,
+frail, decayed tenement, open to the winds, and broken in upon by the
+storms, and what is worse, _from all I can learn, the landlord does not
+intend to make repairs_!"
+
+_A ready and graceful reply to a compliment_, may, also, be regarded as
+a conversational embellishment. It is not polite to _retort_ to the
+language of courtesy with a charge of insincerity, or of flattery.
+_Playfulness_ frequently affords the best resource, or the _retort
+courteous_, as in Lord Nelson's celebrated reply to Lady Hamilton's
+questions of "Why do you differ so much from other men? Why are you so
+superior to the rest of your sex?" "If there were more Emmas, there
+would be more Nelsons." One may say, "I fear I owe your commendation to
+the partiality of friendship;" or, "I trust you may never be undeceived
+in regard to my poor accomplishments;" or, "Really, madam, your
+penetration enables you to make discoveries for me." Then again, to one
+of the lenient sex, one may reply--"Mrs. Blank sees all her friends
+through the most becoming of glasses--her own eyes." And to an older
+gentleman, who honors you with the fiat of a compliment, thus proving
+that it may sometimes be false that
+
+    "The vanquished have no friends,"
+
+"Really, sir, I do not know whether I am most overwhelmed by admiration
+for your wit and politeness, or by gratitude for your kindness." Or some
+phrase like this will occasionally be appropriate--"I am afraid, sir, I
+shall plume myself too highly upon your good opinion. You do me much
+honor;" or, "It will be my _devoir_, as well as my happiness, for the
+future, to deserve your commendation, sir;" or, "You inspire as much as
+you encourage me, dear sir--if I possess any claim to your flattering
+compliment, you have yourself elicited it." To a compliment to one's
+wit, or the like, one may reply--"Dullness is always banished by the
+presence of Miss ----;" or, "Who could fail to be, in some degree, at
+least, inspired in such a presence?" Then, again, a reply like this will
+suffice--"I am only too happy in being permitted to amuse you, madam."
+
+Permit me in this connection, a few words respecting _conversation with
+ladies_. Though all mere silliness and twaddle should be regarded as
+equally unworthy of them and yourselves, yet, in general association
+with the fairest ornaments of creation, _agreeability_, rather than
+profundity, should be your aim, in the choice of topics. Sensitive,
+tasteful, refined,
+
+    "And variable as the shade
+    By the light quivering aspen made,"
+
+their vividness of imagination and sportiveness of fancy demand
+similarity of intellectual gifts, or the graceful tribute of, at least,
+temporary assimilation. _Playfulness_, _cheerfulness_, _versatility_,
+and _courtesy_ should characterize colloquial intercourse with ladies;
+but the deference due them should never degenerate into mere servile
+acquiescence, or mawkish sentimentality.
+
+The utmost _refinement of language and of matter_ should always be
+regarded as essential, under such circumstances, to the discourse of a
+well-bred man; and should, of course, distinguish his _manner_ as well.
+Thus, all slang phrases, everything approaching to _double entendre_,
+all familiarity of address, unsanctioned by relationship or acknowledged
+intimacy, all mis-timed or unsanctioned use of nick-names and Christian
+names, are as inadmissible in good society as are personal
+familiarities, nudging, winking, whispering, etc.
+
+Too much care cannot be taken in avoiding all subjects that may have the
+effect to wound or distress others. I think I have before remarked that
+people go into society for enjoyment--relaxation from the grave duties
+and cares of life--not to be depressed by the misanthropy of others, or
+disturbed by details of scenes of horror. I have known persons who had
+such a morbid taste for such things as always to insist upon reading
+aloud, even in the hearing of children and ladies, the frightful
+newspaper details of rail-road accidents and steamboat explosions. I
+remember, in particular, once having the misfortune to be acquainted
+with such a social incubus, to whom a death in the neighborhood was a
+regular God-send, and to whom the wholesale slaughter made by the
+collision of rail-cars served as colloquial capital for weeks--indeed
+until some provident body corporate supplied new material for his
+cormorant powers of mental digestion! His letters to distant friends
+were a regular _bill of mortality_, filled with minute accounts of the
+peculiar form of disease by which every old woman of his acquaintance
+was enabled to shuffle off this mortal coil, and of every accident that
+occurred in the country for miles around--from the sudden demise of a
+poor widow's cow, to the broken leg of a robber of bird's-nests! I shall
+never forget the revulsion of feeling he produced for me, one serene
+summer evening, as I was placidly strolling over the sands by the
+sea-shore, drinking in the glory of old Neptune's wide-spread realm, by
+inflicting upon me, not only _himself_--which was enough for mortal
+patience--but a long rigmarole about the great numbers of fishes washed
+upon the shore by a recent storm, who had had their eyes picked out by
+birds of prey, while still struggling for life in an uncongenial
+element! On another occasion, I had the misfortune to be present when a
+young lady was thrown into violent hysterics by his mentioning, with as
+much _gusto_ as an inveterate "collector" would have exhibited in
+boasting the possession of a _steak_ from the celebrated "antediluvian
+beef," immortalized by Cuvier,[13] that he had picked up a small foot
+with a lady's boot on it, while visiting the scene of a late rail-road
+accident!
+
+  [13] Speaking in one of his public lectures, of the recent discovery
+  (amid the eternal snows of Siberia, I think), of the carcass of a
+  _mastodon_, upon which the hunting-dogs of the explorers had
+  fed--"_Thus_," said the great naturalist, "_did modern dogs gorge
+  themselves upon antediluvian beef!_"
+
+But avoiding these aggravated forms of grossness is not enough. True
+politeness requires attention to the peculiarities of each of the
+company you are with--teaching, for instance, your abstaining from
+allusions to their personal defects or misfortunes, to the embarrassment
+of conversing with deaf persons, in the presence of those thus
+afflicted, to lameness, when some one present has lost a limb, to the
+peculiarities of age, in the hearing of elderly persons, to the vulgar
+impression that all lawyers are knaves, when one of the sons of that
+noble profession is among your auditors--to the murderous reputation of
+the disciples of Esculapius, etc. This rule will teach, too, the use of
+a less offensive term than that of "old maid," when speaking of women of
+no particular age, in the hearing of such as are by courtesy only,
+without the pale alluded to; and the propriety of not appealing to such
+authority in relation to matters of remote personal remembrance!
+
+In no country with the social institutions of which I am familiar, do
+the peculiar opinions obtain, which prevail in this country respecting
+_age_. "Young America" regards every one as old, apparently, who has
+attained majority, and _women_, in particular, are subjected to a most
+unjust ordeal in this respect. The French have a popular saying that no
+woman is agreeable until she is forty; and in both France and England,
+_marriage_--which first entitles a young lady to a decided position in
+society--usually occurs at a much later period in her life than with
+us. In neither of those countries are girls _brought out_ at an age when
+here they are frequently already mothers! But to return: nothing is more
+ill-bred, than this too frequent assumption of the claims of women to be
+exempt from social obligations and deprived of their proper places in
+society, in this country, while still retaining all their pristine
+claims to agreeability. Polished manners, cultivated tastes and personal
+attractions, are not to have their claims abrogated by Time. You
+remember the poet says:
+
+    "The little Loves are infants ever,
+    The Graces are of every age!"
+
+I well remember being intensely chagrined by an exhibition of
+under-breeding in this way while making a morning visit, with a young
+countryman of ours, upon a beautiful English girl, a distant relative of
+his.
+
+After discussing London fogs, and other kindred topics, Jonathan
+suddenly burst forth, as if suddenly inspired with a bright thought.
+
+"How's the old lady?"
+
+The largest pair of blue eyes, opening to their full extent, turned
+wonderingly upon the querist.
+
+"Your _mother_,--is she well this morning?"
+
+"Mamma is pretty well, thank you; but it is not possible that you regard
+her as _old_! Mamma is in the very prime of life, only just turned of
+five and forty! Dear mother! she is looking very pale and sad in her
+widow's cap, but we have never thought of her as _old_," and a shadow,
+like the sudden darkening of a fair landscape, dimmed those deep blue
+eyes and that fine forehead.
+
+But enough upon this collateral point.
+
+I trust you will need no argument to convince you of the vulgarity and
+immorality of permitting yourselves the practice of _repeating private
+conversation_. Nothing will more surely tend to deprive you of the
+respect and friendship of well-bred people, since nothing is more
+thoroughly understood in good society, than a tacit recognition of that
+essential security to social confidence and good-feeling which utterly
+interdicts the repetition of private conversation.
+
+Let me only add to these rambling observations the assurance that a
+_ready compliance_ with the wishes of others, in exercising any personal
+accomplishment, is a mark of genuine good-breeding.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+During one of my visits to London, some years since, the Duke of ----
+invited me to run down with him, for a few days, to his magnificent
+estate in ----shire.
+
+Riding one morning with my host and a numerous party of his guests, we
+paused to breathe our horses, and enjoy the fine prospect, upon the
+summit of a hill overlooking the wide-spread acres of his lordship.
+
+"Here the estate of my neighbor, Mr. ----, joins my land," said the
+Duke, pointing, with his riding-whip, towards a narrow, thickly-wooded
+valley, at our feet. "You catch a glimpse of his turrets through the
+oaks yonder. This spot always reminds me," pursued our host, laughing,
+"of an amusing incident of which it was the scene, years ago, when the
+family of my neighbor had not become as distinguished as it now is,
+among the philanthropists of the age. A young friend of ours, who was
+spending the shooting-season here with my sons, while eagerly pursuing
+his game, one morning, unconsciously trespassed upon the preserves of
+Mr. ----. The report of his fowling-piece brought Mr. ---- suddenly to
+his side, just as he was triumphantly bagging his bird. My excellent
+neighbor, with all his admirable qualities, is sometimes a little
+choleric, and you know, Col. Lunettes, [bowing and smiling] that nothing
+sooner rouses the ire of a true Englishman, than an invasion of the
+_Game Laws_."
+
+"'Sir!' cried Mr. ----, in a voice trembling with ill-suppressed fury,
+'do you know that you are trespassing,--that these are _my_ grounds?'
+
+"My young guest was not permitted fully to explain, before the angry man
+again burst forth with a tirade, which he concluded, by asking--'What
+would you do yourself, sir, under such circumstances? How would you feel
+disposed to treat a gentleman who had encroached upon your rights in
+this way?'
+
+"'Well, really, sir, since you ask me, I think I should _invite him to
+go with me to the house and take a mouthful of lunch_!'
+
+"This was irresistible! Even ----'s indignation was cooled by such
+inimitable _sang froid_, and he at once adopted the suggestion of the
+young sportsman. My witty guest not only secured the refreshment he
+needed, but, eventually, helped himself to a _bonne bouche_ of more
+substantial character, by his marriage with one of the blooming
+daughters of my neighbor, to whom he was introduced on that memorable
+occasion!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A young American of my acquaintance, met, not long since, in the
+_salons_ of a distinguished _Parisienne_, one of the most learnedly
+scientific of the French authors of our times.
+
+"I am as much surprised as I am delighted, to meet you here to-night,
+Mr. ----," said my friend, "I supposed you too much occupied in profound
+research and study, to find time for such enjoyments."
+
+"I am, indeed, much occupied at present," returned the _savant_; "but I
+can neither more agreeably nor more profitably spend a portion of my
+time than in the society of my refined and cultivated friend, Madame
+----, and that of the intellectual and accomplished visitors I always
+meet at her house."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Speaking, in the body of this letter, of the uselessness of _arguing_
+with the hope of convincing others, reminded me, by association, of a
+little incident illustrative of my opinion, of which I was once a
+witness, during a summer sojourn at Avon Springs--a little quiet
+watering-place in the Empire State, as you may know.
+
+There was a pleasant company of us, and our intercourse was agreeable
+and friendly--all, apparently, disposed to contribute to the general
+stock of amusement, and to make the most of our somewhat limited
+resources in the way of general entertainment. There were pretty
+daughters and managing mammas, heiresses, and ladies without fortune,
+who were quite as attractive as those whose fetters were of gold, the
+usual complement of brainless youths, antiquated bachelors and
+millionaire widowers (so reputed), with a sprinkling of nondescripts and
+old soldiers, like myself.
+
+It was our custom to muster, in great force, every morning, and go in a
+mammoth omnibus from our hotel to the "Spring" to bathe and drink the
+delectable sulphur-water, there abounding. On these occasions, every one
+was good-humored, obliging, and cheerfully inclined to make sacrifices
+for the comfort and convenience of others. The _ladies_, especially,
+were the objects of particular care and courtesy, being always politely
+assisted up and down the high, awkward steps of our lumbering
+conveyance, with their bathing parcels, etc.
+
+    ----"All went merry as a marriage bell,"
+
+until one unlucky day when some theological point became matter of
+discussion between two men of opposite opinions, just as we were
+commencing our return-ride from the Spring. Others were soon drawn,
+first into listening, and then into a participation in the conversation,
+until almost every man in the company had betrayed a predilection for
+the distinctive tenets of some particular religious sect. Thus,
+Baptists, Presbyterians, Methodists, Congregationalists, Episcopalians,
+Unitarians, and Romanists stood revealed, each the ardent champion of
+his own peculiar views. The ladies had the good sense to remain silent,
+with the exception of an "Equal Rights" woman, whose wordy interposition
+clearly proved that
+
+    "_Fools rush in where angels fear to tread!_"
+
+Well! of course, no one was convinced by this sudden outbreak of varied
+eloquence of the fallacy of opinions he had previously entertained, and
+of the superior wisdom of those of any one of his companions. Indeed, so
+eager was each in the maintenance of his own ground, as scarcely to heed
+the arguments of his opponents, except as furnishing a fresh impulse for
+advancing his own with increasing pertinacity.
+
+Presently, flushed cheeks, angry glances, and louder tones gave token
+that the meek spirit of the long-suffering _Prince of Peace_ was not
+dominant in the breasts of these, the professed advocates of his
+doctrines. Rude language, too, gradually took the place of the professed
+courtesy with which the discussion had begun, and the ladies looked
+uneasily from the windows, as if to satisfy themselves that escape from
+such disagreeable association was near at hand. Happily for them, our
+Jehu, though unmindful of any particular occasion for haste, at length
+drew up before Comstock's portico. But, in place of the usual patient
+waiting of each for his turn to alight, and the usual number of extended
+hands that were wont to aid the ladies in their descent, every one of
+the angry combatants crowded hastily out of the vehicle, almost before
+it had fairly stopped, wholly disregardful alike of the toes of his
+neighbors and the claims before universally accorded to the gentler
+portion of our company, and hurried up the steps, apparently forgetful
+of everything except the uncomfortable chafings of wounded self-love!
+Each man, evidently, regarded himself as the most abused of mortals, and
+the rest as a parcel of obstinate fools, for whom it were a great waste
+of ammunition to assume the martyr's fate! And I am by no means sure,
+that the cheerful amicability that had before prevailed among us was
+ever fully restored after this unhappy outbreak of _religious feeling_!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The gayest of capitals experienced a sensation! The wittiest of circles,
+where all was wit, were, for once, content to listen only! The brave,
+the great, the learned, and the fair, contended for the smiles and the
+society of the Marquis de Plusesprit, the handsomest, the most
+accomplished, and the wittiest man in Paris!
+
+One day, while this social _furore_ was at its height, a celebrated
+physician received a professional visit from an unknown, whose pale
+cheeks and sunken eyes bore testimony to the suffering to which he
+described himself as being a prey. The man of science prepared a
+prescription, but assured his patient that what would most speedily
+effect his restoration was change of scene and agreeable society.
+
+"Seek in congenial companionship relief from the mental anxiety by which
+you are evidently oppressed," said the modern Esculapius--"fly from
+study and self-contemplation;--above all, _court the society of the
+Marquis de Plusesprit_!"
+
+"Alas! doctor," returned the stranger, "_I am Plusesprit!_"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Speaking of Repartee, reminds me of a pretty scene of which I was a
+witness, not long since, while ruralizing for a week with an old friend
+and his charming daughters, at their beautiful and hospitable home, on
+the banks of the Hudson. By the way, I have before introduced you to
+their acquaintance--the pleasant family of _letter-writing memory_!--
+
+An elderly foreign gentleman, of large information and agreeable
+manners, but not one of fortune's favorites, had been dining with us, by
+special invitation, and the lovely daughters of my host had vied with
+each other in doing honor to one in whom sensitiveness may have been
+rendered a little morbid by the effect of the tyrant Circumstance. Every
+hour succeeding his arrival had served more effectually to melt away a
+certain constraint of manner, by which he seemed at first oppressed, and
+his expressive face grew bland and genial under the sunny influences of
+courteous respect and appreciation, until when he rose to go away at
+sunset, he seemed almost metamorphosed out of the man of the morning.
+
+The sisters three, accompanied their agreeable visitor to the
+vine-draped veranda, where I was already seated, attracted by the beauty
+of the evening, and of my local surroundings. I had been particularly
+admiring a fine large orange-tree, at the entrance of the porch, which
+was laden with flowers and fruit, and, with glittering pearls from a
+shower just bestowed upon it by the gardener.
+
+"Will you not come again, before Colonel Lunettes leaves us, Mr. ----?"
+asked my sweet young friend Fanny, in her most cordial tones, linking
+her arm in that of one sister, and clasping the waist of the other, as
+she spoke, "we will invoke the Loves and Graces to attend you"----
+
+"The Graces!" exclaimed the guest, quickly,--extending his hands towards
+the group, and bowing profoundly--"then you will come yourselves!--_the
+Graces are before me!_" And then he added, with a courtly air--"Really,
+Miss Fanny, you too highly honor a rusty old man"----
+
+"An old man," interrupted Fanny, with the utmost vivacity, dissolving
+the "linked sweetness" that had intwined her with her sisters, and
+extending her beautiful arm towards the superb orange-tree before her,
+"an old man!--here is a fitting emblem of our friend Mr. ----;--all the
+attractiveness of youth still mingled with the matured fruit of
+experience!"
+
+Charming Fanny! God bless her!--she is one of those earth-angels whose
+manifold gifts seem used only to give happiness to others!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I called one evening, not long since, to pay my respects to the daughter
+of a recently-deceased and much-valued friend. She had been persuaded
+into a journey to a distant city, in search of the health and spirits
+that had been exceedingly impaired by watching beside the death-bed of
+her departed mother. Her appearance could scarcely fail, as it seemed to
+me, to interest the most insensible stranger to her history;--for
+myself, I was inexpressibly touched by the language of the colorless
+face and languid eyes to which a simple black robe lent additional
+meaning.
+
+Just as I began to indulge a hope that the faint smile my endeavors at
+cheerful conversation had caused to flicker about her lips--as a
+rose-tint illumines for a moment the white summit of an Alpine
+height--there entered the drawing-room of our hostess a bevy of noisy
+women, young and old, who gathered about the sofa, where my friend and I
+were seated near our hostess, and rattled away like so many pieces of
+small (very small!) artillery.
+
+I saw plainly that the mere noise was almost too much for the nerves of
+the silent occupant of the sofa corner; but what was my surprise at
+hearing them go into the most minute particulars respecting the recent
+death of a gentleman of our acquaintance! His dying words, his very
+death-struggles were carefully reported, and the grief of the survivors
+graphically described!
+
+Unfortunately, having relinquished my seat beside the mourner to one of
+these women, I was powerless in my intense wish to attract her attention
+from the subject of their discourse; but my eyes were riveted upon her,
+with the keenest sympathy for the torture she must be undergoing. Her
+pale face had gradually grown white as a moonbeam, until, at length, as
+though strengthened by desperation, she sprang from her seat, and
+essayed to leave the room. One step forward, a half-stifled sob, and the
+slender form lay extended on the floor in hapless insensibility.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"While Mr. Smith is tuning his guitar, let us beg Mrs. Williams to
+redeem her promise of reciting Campbell's 'Last Man' for us," said a
+graceful hostess, mindful of the truth that some of her guests preferred
+eloquence and poetry to sweet sounds, and desirous, too, of drawing out
+the accomplishments of all her guests.
+
+Mrs. Williams, gifted with
+
+    "The vision and the faculty divine,"
+
+glanced a little uneasily at the ever-twanging guitar as she politely
+assented to the requests that eagerly seconded that of her hostess. Mr.
+Smith still continued to hum broken snatches of an air, twisting the
+screws of his instrument with complete self-engrossment, the while.
+
+"I will not interrupt Mr. Smith," said the lady, in more expressive
+tones than were ever elicited from catgut by the efforts of that
+gentleman, moving with a step graceful as that of a gazelle to the other
+end of the room.
+
+Our little circle gathered about her, and enjoyed, in an exquisite
+degree,
+
+    "The feast of reason, and the flow of soul,"
+
+that so far surpasses the merely sensuous pleasure afforded by music,
+when not associated with exalted sentiment.
+
+As the company broke into little groups, after thanking Mrs. Williams
+for the high gratification for which we were her debtors, I overheard
+Mr. Smith say, with a discontented air, to a youth with a "_lovely
+moustache_," who had "accompanied" him in his previous musical
+endeavors, "I'll never bring my instrument _here_ again!"
+
+At this critical moment, our hostess approached with a water-ice, as a
+propitiatory offering, and expressed the hope that the guitar was now
+renewed for action. The musician, with offended dignity, only
+condescended to reply, as he deposited his idol in a corner--
+
+"Thank you, ma'am; I supposed your friends were _fond of music_!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Discussing the mooted subject of _beards_ one morning lately, with some
+sprightly young ladies of my acquaintance, the following specimen of
+quickness of repartee was elicited. I record it for your amusement.
+
+"Among the ancients, I believe," said a fair girl, "a long, snowy beard
+was considered an emblem of the wisdom of the possessor."
+
+"And how is it in modern times?" inquired another lady, "does wisdom
+keep pace, in exact proportion with length of beard?"
+
+"No, indeed," exclaimed the first speaker, laughingly, "for,
+
+    "If beards long and bushy true wisdom denote,
+    Then Plato must bow to a hairy he-goat!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+What would an educated foreigner--Kossuth, for instance, who learned
+English _by the study of Shakspeare_--make of the following specimens of
+colloquial American language?
+
+"Do tell, Jul," exclaimed a young lady, "where _have_ you been
+marvelling to? You look like Time in the primer!"
+
+"No you don't," returned the young lady addressed, "you can't come it
+over dis chil'!"
+
+"No, no," chimed in a youth of the party, "you can't come it quite, Miss
+Lib! Don't try to poke fun at us!"
+
+"You've all been _sparking_ in the woods, I guess!"
+
+"Oh, ho," laughed one of the speakers, "I thought you'd get it through
+your hair, at last--that's rich!"
+
+"Why!" retorted the interlocutor, tartly, "do you think I don't know
+tother from which?"
+
+"I think you 'know beans' as well as most Hoosiers," replied her
+particular admirer, in a tone of unmistakable blandishment.
+
+"Everybody knows Jul's _some pumpkins_," admitted one of her fair
+companions.
+
+"Come, Jul, rig yourself in a jiffy," said a bonny lassie, who had not
+yet spoken, "you are in for a spree!"
+
+"What's in the wind--who's to stand the shot?" cautiously inquired the
+damsel addressed.
+
+"We're bound on a spree, I tell you! You must be _green_ to think we'll
+own the corn now! Come, fix up, immediately, if not sooner!" so saying,
+the energetic speaker seized her friend round the waist and gallopaded
+her out of the room.
+
+Presently some one said, "Well, Jul and Lotty have made themselves
+scarce!--I----by George, it makes a fellow open his potato-trap to hang
+around waitin' so," and an expansive yawn attested the sincerity of this
+declaration.
+
+"I could scare up my traps a heap sight quicker, I reckon, and tote 'em
+too, from here to the river, nigger fashion," rejoined a Southerner, of
+the group.
+
+"Some chicken fixins and pie doins wouldn't be so bad--would they,
+though?" whispered a tall, Western man to his next neighbor.
+
+"And a little suthin to wet your whistle, too," added another,
+overhearing the remark--"you're a trump, anyhow!"
+
+"Then you do _kill a snake_, sometimes, Mr. Smith," inquired one of his
+auditors, smiling significantly.
+
+"Does your anxious mother know you're out?" retorted Mr. Smith, twirling
+his fingers on his nose.
+
+"Don't be wrathy, Smith--what's your tipple, old fellow?" put in one of
+the young men, soothingly stroking the broad shoulders of that
+interesting youth.
+
+"You're E Pluribus--you're a brick," returned Mr. Smith, softening, "but
+where in thunder are those female women? They'ave sloped and given us
+the mitten, I spose"----
+
+"You ain't posted up, my boy, if you think they'd given us the slip,"
+answered his friend.
+
+"By jingo! it takes the patience of all the world and the rest of
+mankind to dance attendance upon them--they ain't as peart as our _gals
+o' wind_!" cried Mr. Smith, in an ecstasy of impatience.
+
+"How's your ma, Mr. John Smith?" inquired the merry voice of "Jul," who
+had entered unperceived, "you'd better dry up!"
+
+"Here we are, let's be off," shouted a young gentleman.
+
+"All aboard," echoed another.
+
+"Now we'll go it with a rush!" burst from a third, and, suiting the
+action to the word, my _dramatis personae_ vanished like the wind.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Having the happiness to pass a morning at the _Louvre_ with my early and
+lamented friend, Washington Allston, he said to me, as arm in arm we
+sauntered slowly through one of the Galleries--"Come and study one of my
+particular favorites with me--one might as well attempt to taste all the
+nondescript dishes at a Chinese state-dinner as to enjoy every picture
+in a collection, at a single visit. I do not even glance at more than
+one or two, unless I know that I shall have months before me for
+renewing my inspection--better take away one distinct recollection, to
+add to one's _private collection_, than half a dozen confused, imperfect
+copies!"
+
+I think it was a _Murillo_ before which the artist paused while
+speaking; the celebrated work representing a monk, who had been
+interrupted by death while writing his own biography, as being permitted
+to return to earth to complete his self-imposed task. I am not sure but
+this picture, however, was added some years later to the treasures of
+the Louvre, by Napoleon--for we were both young men then--however, it
+matters not. I was quite as much occupied in observing the _living
+picture_ before me, as that of the great master. And, though memory has
+proved somewhat treacherous, I still vividly recollect the spiritualized
+face of this true child of genius, as he contemplated the magnificent
+impersonation. His brow grew radiant, and his eye! ah, who shall portray
+that soul-lit eye, or justly record the poetic language that fell,
+almost unconsciously, from his half-inspired lips! Sacredly are they
+cherished among the hoarded memories of youthful friendship? It was only
+my purpose to recall for your benefit the opinion and practice of one so
+fully competent to advise in relation to our subject.
+
+What Disraeli has somewhere said of eating, may, with equal nicety of
+epicureanism, be applied to the enjoyment of Ideal Art, and of that of
+which it is the type--natural beauty:--"To eat, really to eat," asserts
+the discriminatingly sensuous Jew, "one should eat alone, in an easy
+dress, by a soft light, and of a single dish at a time!" For myself--but
+there's no accounting for tastes!--I should desire on all such
+occasions,
+
+    "One fair spirit for my minister,"
+
+or rather, for my sympathizing companion!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+As an illustration of the advantage to a man in public life, of _ready
+elocution and ready wit_, let me sketch for you a little scene of which
+I was the amused and interested witness, one morning some months ago,
+while on a visit at Washington.
+
+A _Chaplain_ was to be elected for the House of Representatives. General
+Granger, of New York, proposed a Soldier of the Revolution as well as of
+the Cross--the Rev. Mr. Waldo--adding a few impressive facts in relation
+to his venerable and interesting friend--as that he was then in his
+ninety-fourth year, had borne arms for his country in his youth, etc.
+
+Upon this, some member, upon the _opposition benches_, as the English
+say, called out:
+
+"What are his claims? where did he serve?"
+
+"The gentleman will permit me to refer him to the Pension Office,"
+returned General Granger, with the most smiling urbanity; "he will there
+find the more satisfactory answer to his queries."
+
+"What are Mr. Waldo's politics?"
+
+"Though a most amiable gentleman and devout Christian, he belongs, sir,
+to--the _Church Militant_!"
+
+"Is he a _Filibuster_?"
+
+"Even so, sir! Mr. Waldo filibustered for the _Old Thirteen_, against
+George the Third, in the American Revolution!"
+
+  I am, my dear boys, as ever,
+  Your affectionate,
+  "UNCLE HAL."
+
+
+
+
+LETTER X.
+
+HABIT.
+
+
+MY DEAR FRIENDS:
+
+If you wish to have power to say, in the words of the imperial slave of
+the beautiful Egyptian,
+
+    "Let me, . . . . . . .
+    With those hands that grasp'd the heaviest club,
+    Subdue my worthiest _self_,"
+
+you must not wholly overlook the importance of _Habit_, while
+establishing your system of life.
+
+Always indicative of character, habit may yet, to a certain extent, do
+us the greatest injustice, through mere inadvertency. Indeed, few young
+persons attach much importance to such matters, until compelled by
+necessity to unlearn, with a painful effort, what has been insensibly
+acquired.
+
+Permit me, then, a few random suggestions, intended rather to awaken
+your attention to this branch of a polite education, than to furnish
+elaborate directions in relation to it.
+
+Judging from the prevalent tone of social intercourse among our
+countrymen, both at home and abroad, one might naturally make the
+inference, that most of them regard _Rudeness_ and _Republicanism_ as
+synonymous terms. Depend upon it, that as a people, we are retrograding
+on this point. Our upper class--or what would fain be deemed such--in
+society, may more successfully imitate the fashionable follies and
+conventional peculiarities of the Old World, than their predecessors
+upon the stage of action did; but fashion is not good breeding, any more
+than arrogant assumption, or a defiant independence of the amenities of
+life, is true manliness. Breaking away from the ceremonious old school
+of habit and manner, we are rapidly running into the opposite extreme,
+and the masses who, with little time or inclination for personal
+reflection, on such subjects, naturally take their clue, to some extent,
+from the assumed exponents of the laws of the fickle goddess,
+exaggerating the value of the defective models they seek to imitate,
+into the grossest caricature of the whole, and, mistaking rudeness for
+ease, and impudence for independence, so defy all abstract propriety,
+as, if not to "make the angels weep," at least to mortify and disgust
+all observant, thinking men, whose love and pride of country sees in
+trifles even, indications more or less auspicious to national
+advancement.
+
+All this defiance of social restraint, this professed contempt for the
+suavities and graces that should redeem existence from the complete
+engrossment of actualities, is bad enough at home; but its exhibition
+abroad is doubly humiliating to our national dignity. Every American who
+visits foreign countries, whether as the accredited official
+representative of his government, or simply in the character of a
+private citizen, owes a duty to his native land, as one of those by the
+observance of whom strangers are forming an estimate of the social and
+political advancement of the people who are making the great experiment
+of the world, and upon whom the eyes of all are fixed with a peculiar
+and scrutinizing interest.
+
+It has been well said of us, in this regard, that "_our worst slavery is
+the slavery to ourselves_." Trammelled by the narrowest social
+prejudices at home, Americans, breaking loose from these restraints
+abroad, run riot, like ill-mannered school-boys, suddenly released from
+the discipline which, from its very severity, prompts them to indulge in
+the extreme of license. Thus, we lately had accounts of the humiliating
+conduct of some Americans, who, being guests one night at the Tuileries,
+actually so far forgot all decency as to intrude their drunken
+impertinence upon the personal observation of the Emperor! And, when
+informed, the next morning, that, at the instance of their insulted
+host, the police had followed them, when they left the palace, to
+ascertain whether they were not suspicious characters who had
+surreptitiously obtained admittance to the imperial fete, they are
+reported to have pronounced the intelligence "_rich!_" Shame on such
+exhibitions!--they disgrace us nationally.
+
+If our countrymen would be content to learn from older peoples on these
+points, it would be well. In the Elegant and Ideal Arts, in Literature,
+in general Science, the superiority of our predecessors in the history
+of Progress, is cheerfully admitted. Can we, then, learn nothing from
+the matured civilization of the Old World in regard to the _Art of
+Living_? Shall we defy the race to which we belong, on this point alone?
+This secret is possessed in greatest perfection by those who have
+longest studied its details, and some long existent nations who display
+little practical wisdom in matters of political science, are greybeard
+sages here. So then, let us learn from them what they can easily save us
+the trouble of acquiring by difficult experiments for ourselves, and,
+concentrating our energies upon higher objects, give them back a full
+equivalent for their knowledge of the best mode of serving the _Lares_,
+the _Muses_, and the _Graces_, by a successful illustration of the
+truth, that _as a people we are capable of self-government_! We shall,
+then, no longer have the wife of an American minister ignorantly
+invading the Court Rules at Madrid, by sporting the colors sacred to
+royal attire there, and so giving occasion for national offense, as well
+as individual conflict, nor furnish Punch with material for the
+admonitory reflection that the bond of family union between John Bull
+and his cousin Jonathan must be somewhat uncertain "when so small a
+matter as the _tie of a cravat can materially affect the price of
+stocks_!" And, when vulgar bluster and braggadocio are no longer
+mistaken for the proper assertion of national and individual
+independence, we shall not have an American gentleman who, like our
+justly-distinguished countryman, George Peabody, constantly exhibits
+the most urbane courtesy, alike towards foreigners and towards the
+citizens of the native country to which his life has been one prolonged
+paean, accused of _toadying_, because he quietly conforms to the social
+usages of the people among whom he lives!
+
+But pardon me these generalities. I have been unintentionally led into
+them, I believe, by my keen sense of mortification at some of the
+incidents to which I have alluded.
+
+Coming then to details, let us, primarily, resolve to be slaves to
+nothing and to no one--neither to others nor to ourselves; and to
+endeavor to establish such habits as shall entitle each of us, in the
+estimation of discriminating observers, to the distinctive name of
+_gentleman_.
+
+_Constant association with well-bred and well-educated society_, cannot
+be too highly estimated as an assistant in the acquisition of the
+attributes of which we propose to speak. A taste for such companionship
+may be so strengthened by habit as to form a strong barrier to the
+desired indulgence of grosser inclinations. "Show me your friends, and
+I'll tell you what you are," is a pithy Spanish proverb. Choose yours, I
+earnestly entreat, in early life, with a view to self-improvement and
+self-respect. And, while on this point, permit me to warn you against
+mistaking pretension, wealth, or position, for intrinsic merit; or the
+advantages of equality in elevated social rank, for an equivalent to
+mental cultivation, or moral dignity.
+
+One of the collateral benefits resulting from proper social
+associations, will be an escape from _eccentricities_ of manner, dress,
+language, etc.; erroneous habits in relation to which, when once
+established, often cling to a man through all the changes of time and
+circumstance.
+
+But, as observation proves that this, though a safeguard, is by no means
+always a sufficient defense, it is well to resort to various
+precautions, additionally--as a prudent general not only carefully
+inspects the ramparts that guard his fortress, but stations sentinels,
+who shall be on the look-out for approaching foes.
+
+So then, my dear boys, do not regard me as descending to puerilities
+unworthy of myself and you, when I call your attention to such matters
+as your attitude in standing and sitting, or any other little
+individualizing peculiarities.
+
+Some men fall into a habit of walking and standing with their heads run
+out before them, as if doubtful of their right to keep themselves on a
+line with their fellow-creatures. Others, again, either elevate the
+shoulders unnaturally, or draw them forward so as to impede the full,
+healthful play of the lungs. This last is too much the peculiar habit of
+_students_, and contracted by stooping over their books, undoubtedly.
+Then again, you see persons swinging their arms, and see-sawing their
+bodies from side to side, so as to monopolize a good deal more than
+their rightful share of a crowded thoroughfare, steamer cabin, or
+drawing-room floor. Nothing is more uncomfortable than walking arm in
+arm with such a man. He pokes his elbows into your ribs, pushes you
+against passers-by, shakes you like a reed in the wind, and, perhaps,
+knocks your hat into the gutter with his umbrella--and all with the most
+good-humored unconsciousness of his annoying peculiarity. If you are so
+unfortunate as to be shut up in a carriage with him, his restless
+propensity relieves itself to the great disturbance of the reserved
+rights of ladies, and the frequent impalement upon his protruding elbows
+of fragments of fringe, lace, and small children! At table, if it be
+possible, his neighbors gently and gradually withdraw from his immediate
+vicinity, leaving a _clearing_ to his undisputed possession. He usually
+may be observed to stoop forward, while eating, with his plate a good
+foot from the customary locality of that convenience, pushed before him
+towards the middle of the table, and his arms so adjusted that his
+elbows play out and in, like the sweep of a pair of oars.
+
+A little seasonable attention to these things will effectually prevent a
+man of sense from falling into such peculiarities. Early acquire the
+habit of standing and walking with your chest thrown out--your head
+erect--your abdomen receding rather than protruding--not leaning back
+any more than forward--with your arms _scientifically_ adjusted--your
+hat on the _top_ (not on the back, or on one side) of your head--with a
+self-poised and firm, but elastic tread; not a tramp, like a war-horse;
+not a stride, like a fugitive bandit; not a mincing step, like a
+conjurer treading on eggs; but, with a compact, manly, homogeneous sort
+of bearing and movement.
+
+Where there has been any discipline at least, if not always, inklings of
+character may be drawn from these tokens in the outer man. For
+instance--the light, quick, cat-like step of Aaron Burr, was as much a
+part of the man as the Pandemonium gleam that lurked in the depths of
+his dark, shadowed eyes. I remember the one characteristic as distinctly
+as the other, when I recall his small person and peculiar face. So with
+the free, firm pace by which the noble port of De Witt Clinton was
+accompanied--one recognized, at a glance, the high intellect, the lofty
+manhood, embodied there.
+
+Crossing the legs, elevating the feet, lounging on one side, lolling
+back, etc., though quite excusable in the _abandon_ of bachelor
+seclusion, should never be indulged in where ceremony is properly
+required. In the company of ladies, particularly, too much care cannot
+be exhibited in one's attitudes. It is then suitable to sit upright,
+with the feet on the floor, and the hands quietly adjusted before one,
+either holding the hat and stick (as when paying a morning visit), or
+the dress-hat carried in the evening, or, to give ease, on occasion, a
+book, roll of paper, or the like. Habits of refinement once established,
+a man feels at ease--he can trust himself, without watching, to be
+_natural_--and nothing conduces more to grace and elegance than this
+quiet consciousness. Let me add, that true comfort, real enjoyment are
+no better secured under any circumstances, by indulging in anything
+that is _intrinsically unrefined_, and that a certain _habitual
+self-restraint_ is the best guarantee of ease, propriety and elegance,
+when a man would fain do entire justice to himself.
+
+Habits connected with matters of the table, as indeed with all sensuous
+enjoyments, should always be such as not to suggest to others ideas of
+merely selfish animal gratification. Among minor characteristics, few
+are so indicative of genuine good-breeding as a man's mode of _eating_.
+Upon Poor Richard's principle, that "nothing is worth doing at all that
+is not worth doing well," one may very properly attach some consequence
+to the formation of correct habits in relation to occasions of such very
+frequent recurrence. It is well, therefore, to learn to sit uprightly at
+table, to keep one's individual "aids and appliances" compactly
+arranged; to avoid all noise and hurry in the use of these conveniences;
+neither to mince, nor fuss with one's food; nor yet to swallow it as a
+boa-constrictor does his,--rolled over in the mouth and bolted _whole_;
+or worse still, to open the mouth, to such an extent as to remind
+observers that alligators are _half mouth_. Eating with a knife, or with
+the fingers; soiling the lips; using the fork or the fingers as a
+tooth-pick; making _audible_ the process of mastication, or of drinking;
+taking soup from the _point_ of a spoon; lolling forward upon the table,
+or with the elbows upon the table; soiling the cloth with what should be
+kept upon the plate; putting one's private utensils into dishes of
+which others partake; in short, everything that is odd, or coarse,
+should nowhere be indulged in.
+
+Cut your meat, or whatever requires the use of the knife, and, leaving
+that dangerous instrument conveniently on one side of your plate, eat
+with your fork, using a bit of bread to aid, when necessary, in taking
+up your food neatly.
+
+When partaking of anything too nearly approaching a liquid to be eaten
+with a fork, as stewed tomato, or cranberry, _sop_ it with small pieces
+of bread;--a _spoon_ is not used while eating meats and their
+accompaniments. Never take up large bones in the fingers, nor bite
+Indian corn from a mammoth ear. (In the latter case, a long _cob_
+running out of a man's mouth on either side, is suggestive of the mode
+in which the snouts of dressed swine are adorned for market!) If you
+prefer not to cut the grain from the ear, break it into small pieces and
+cut the rows lengthwise, before commencing to eat this vegetable.
+
+When you wish to send your plate for anything, retain your knife and
+fork, and either keep them together in your hand, or rest them upon your
+bread, so as not to soil the cloth.
+
+Should you have occasion for a tooth-pick, hold your napkin, or your
+hand, before your mouth while applying it, and on no account resort to
+the _perceptible_ assistance of the tongue in freeing the mouth or teeth
+from food.
+
+Have sufficient self-control, when so unfortunate as to be disgusted
+with anything in your food, to refrain from every outward manifestation
+of annoyance, and if possible, to conceal from others all participation
+in your discovery.
+
+Accustom yourself to addressing servants while at table, in a low, but
+intelligible tone, and to a good-natured endurance of their blunders.
+
+Avoid the appearance of self-engrossment, or of abstraction while
+eating, and, for the sake of health of mind and body, acquire the
+practice of a cheerful interchange of both civilities and ideas with
+those who may be, even temporarily, your associates.
+
+It is now becoming usual among fashionable people in this country to
+adopt the French mode of conducting ceremonious dinners, that of placing
+such portions of the dessert as will admit of it, upon the table,
+together with plateaux of flowers, and other ornaments, and having the
+previous courses served and carved upon side-tables, and offered to each
+guest by the attendants. But it will be long before this custom obtains
+generally, as a daily usage, even among the wealthier classes. It will,
+so far continue rather an exception than a rule, that the _art of
+carving_ should be regarded as well worth acquiring, both as a matter of
+personal convenience, and as affording the means of obliging others.
+Like every other habit connected with matters of the table, exquisite
+_neatness_ and discrimination should characterize the display of this
+gentlemanly accomplishment. Aim at dexterous and rapid manipulation, and
+shun the semblance of hurry, labor, or fatigue. Familiarity with the
+_anatomy_ of poultry and game, will greatly facilitate ease and grace in
+carving.
+
+Always help ladies with a remembrance of the moderation and
+fastidiousness of their appetites. If possible, give them the choice of
+selection in the cuts of meats, especially of birds and poultry.
+
+Never pour gravy upon a plate, without permission. A little of the
+filling of fowls may be put with portions of them, because that is
+easily laid aside, without spoiling the meat, as gravy does, for many
+persons.
+
+All meats served in mass, should be carved in _thin slices_, and each
+laid upon one side of the plate, carefully avoiding soiling the edge, or
+offending the delicacy of ladies, in particular, by too-ensanguined
+juices.
+
+Different kinds of food should never be mixed on the plate. Keep each
+portion of the accompaniments of your meats neatly separated, and, where
+you _pay for decency and comfort_, take it as a matter of course that
+your plate, knife, and fork are to be changed as often as you partake of
+a different dish of meat.
+
+_Fish_ is eaten with bread and condiments only; and the various kinds of
+meat with vegetables appropriate to each. _Game_, when properly cooked
+and served, requires only a bit of bread with it.
+
+By those who best understand the art of eating, _butter_ is never taken
+with meats or vegetables. The latter, in their simple state, as
+potatoes, should be eaten with salt; most of them need no condiment, in
+addition to those with which they are dressed before coming to table.
+Salads, of course, are prepared according to individual taste; but the
+well-instructed take butter at dinner only after, or as a substitute
+for, the course of pastry, etc. with bread, if at all. The English make
+a regular course of bread, cheese, and butter, preceding the dessert
+proper--nuts, fruit, etc.; but they never eat both butter and cheese at
+the same time.
+
+Skins of baked potatoes, rinds of fruit, etc., etc., should never be put
+upon the cloth; but _bread_, both at dinner and breakfast, is placed on
+the table, at the left side of the plate, except it be the small bit
+used to facilitate the use of the fork.
+
+Never drum upon the table between the courses, fidget in your chair, or
+with your dress, or in any manner indicate impatience of due order and
+deliberation, or indifference to the conversation of those about you. A
+_gentleman_ will take time to dine decorously and comfortably. Those
+whose subserviency to _anything, or any one_, prevents this, are not
+_freemen_!
+
+Holding, as I do, that
+
+    "_To enjoy is to obey,_"
+
+let me call your attention, in this connection, to the truth that the
+pleasures of the table consist not so much in the _quantity_ eaten as in
+the _mode of eating_. A moderate amount of simple food, thoroughly and
+deliberately masticated, and partaken of with the agreeable accessories
+of quiet, neatness and social communion, will not only be more
+beneficial to the physical man, but afford more positive enjoyment, than
+a larger number of dishes, when hurriedly eaten in greater quantities.
+
+I have frequently remarked among our young countrymen a peculiarity
+which a moment's reflection will convince you is exceedingly injurious
+to health--that of swallowing an enormous amount of fluid at every meal.
+Reflect that the human stomach is scarcely so large as one of the
+goblets which is repeatedly emptied at dinner, by most men, and that all
+liquids taken into that much-abused organ, must be absorbed before the
+assimilation of solid food commences, and you will see, at once, what a
+violation of the natural laws this practice involves. Here, again, is
+one of the evil effects of the fast-eating of fast Americans. Hurrying
+almost to feverishness, at table, and only half masticating their food,
+the assistance of _ice-water_ is invoked to facilitate the process of
+swallowing, and to allay the more distressing symptoms produced by haste
+and fatigue!
+
+Before we leave these little matters, let us return for an instant, to
+that of the _position_ assumed while _sitting_. The "_Yankee_"
+peculiarity, so often ridiculed by foreigners, of tipping the chair back
+upon the two hind feet, is not yet obsolete, even in our "best society."
+Occasionally some uninstructed rustic finds his way into a fashionable
+drawing-room, where "modern antique furniture," as the manufacturers
+call it in their advertisements, elicits all the proverbial ingenuity
+of his native land, to enable him to indulge in his favorite attitude.
+"I thought I saw the ghost of my chair!" said a fair friend to me, as
+soon as a visitor had left us together, one morning, not long since. "I
+was really distressed by his efforts to tilt it back--these fashionable
+chairs are so frail, and he would have been intensely mortified had he
+broken it! Have you seen the last 'Harper,' Colonel?"
+
+Do not permit yourself, through an indifference to trifles, to fall into
+any unrefined habits in the use of the handkerchief, etc., etc. Boring
+the ears with the fingers, chafing the limbs, sneezing with unnecessary
+sonorousness, and even a too fond and ceaseless caressing of the
+moustache, are in bad taste. Everything connected with _personal_
+discomfort, with the mere physique, should be as unobtrusively attended
+to as possible.
+
+When associated with women of cultivation and refinement--and you should
+addict yourself to no other female society--you cannot attend too
+carefully to the niceties of personal habit. Sensitive, fastidious, and
+very observant of _minutiae_--indeed often judging of character by
+_details_--you will inevitably lose ground with these discriminating
+observers, if neglectful of the trifles that go far towards constituting
+the _amenities of social life_. An elegant modern writer is authority
+for the fact that the Gauls attributed to woman, "an additional
+sense--the _divine sense_." Perhaps the Creator may have bestowed this
+gift upon the defenseless sex, as a counterpoise to the superior
+strength and power of man, even as he has given to the more helpless of
+the lower creatures swiftness of motion, instead of capacity for
+resistance. But be that as it may, no man should permit himself any
+habit that will not bear the scrutiny of this _divine sense_--much less,
+one that will outrage all its fine perceptions.
+
+Apropos of _details_--I will take leave to warn you against the
+_swaggering manner_ that some young men, whose bearing is otherwise
+unexceptionable, fall into among strangers, apparently with the mistaken
+idea that they will thus best sustain their claims to an unequivocal
+position in society. So in the sitting-rooms at hotels, in the
+pump-rooms at watering-places, on the decks of steamers, etc., persons
+whose juvenility entitles them to be classed with those who have nursery
+authority for being "seen and not heard," are frequently the most
+conspicuous and noisy. Shallow, indeed, must be the discernment of
+observers who conceive a favorable impression of a young man from such
+an exhibition!
+
+In company, do not stand, or walk about while others sit, nor sit while
+others stand--especially ladies. Acquire a light step, particularly for
+in-door use, and a _quiet_ mode of conducting yourself, generally.
+Ladies and invalids will not then dread your presence as dangerous--like
+that of a rampant war-horse, ill-taught to
+
+    "Caper nimbly in a lady's chamber!"
+
+If you are fond of playing at chess and other games, it will be worth
+your while to observe yourself until you have fixed habits of entire
+politeness, under such circumstances. All unnecessary movements, every
+manifestation of impatience or petulance, and all exultation when
+successful, should be repressed. Thus, while seeking amusement, you may
+acquire self-control.
+
+Begin early to remember that health and good spirits are easily
+impaired, and that _habit_ will materially assist us in the patient
+endurance of suffering we should manifest for the sake of those about
+us--attendants, friends, "the bosom-friend dearer than all," whom no
+philosophy can teach insensibility to the semblance of unkindness from
+one enthroned in her affections.
+
+Don't fall into the habit, because you are a branch of the _Lunettes_
+family, of using glasses prematurely. _Students_ are much in error here.
+Every young divinity-student, especially, seems emulous of this
+troublesome appendage. Depend on it, this is all wrong, either absurd
+affectation, or ignorance equally unfortunate.
+
+Ladies, it is said, are the _readers_ of America, but who ever sees the
+dear creatures donning spectacles in youth? Enter a female college and
+look for the glasses that, were the youthful devotees of learning there
+assembled of the other sex, would deform half the faces you observe.
+Much better were it to inform yourselves of the laws of optics, and use
+the organs now so generally abused by the young, judiciously, resting
+them, when giving indications of being overtaxed, rather than
+endeavoring to supply artificial aid to their natural strength.
+Students, especially, should always read and write with the _back to the
+light_, so seated that the light falls not upon the eyes, but upon the
+book or paper before them. That reminds me, too, how important it is
+that one should not _stoop forward_ more constantly than is necessary,
+while engaged in sedentary pursuits, but lean back rather than forward,
+as much as possible, throwing out the chest at the same time. Many books
+admit of being raised in the hand, in aid of this practice, and the
+habit of rising occasionally, and expanding the chest, and straightening
+the limbs will be found to relieve the weariness of the sedentary.
+
+But nothing so effectually prevents injury to health, from studious
+habits, as _early rising_. This gives time for the out-door exercise
+that is so requisite as well as for the use of the eyes by _daylight_.
+There is a great deal of nonsense mixed up with our literature, which
+seizes the fancy of the young, because embodied in poetry, or clothed
+with the charm of fiction. Of this nature is what we read about,
+"trimming the midnight lamp," to search for the Pierean spring. Obey the
+
+    "Breezy call of incense-breathing morn,"
+
+and she will environ you with a joyous band of blooming Hours, and guide
+you gaily and lightly towards sparkling waters, whose properties are
+Knowledge and Health!
+
+But if you would habitually rise early, you must not permit every
+trivial temptation to prevent your also _retiring early_. The laws of
+fashionable life are sorely at variance with those of Health, on this
+point, as well as upon many others; but, happily, they are not
+_absolute_, and those who have useful purposes to accomplish each day,
+must withstand the tyranny of this arbitrary despot. Time for the
+toilet, for exercise, for intellectual culture and mental relaxation, is
+thus best secured. By using the earlier hours of each day for our most
+imperative occupations, we are far less at the mercy of contingent
+circumstances than we can become by any other system of life.
+"Solitude," says Gibbon, "is the school of Genius," and the advantages
+of this tuition are most certainly secured before the idlers of
+existence are abroad!
+
+Avoid the habit of regarding yourself as an invalid, and of taking
+nostrums. A knowledge and observance of the rules of _Dietetics_ are
+often better than the concentered wisdom of a Dispensary, abstinence
+more effective than medical applications, and the recuperative power of
+Nature, when left to work out her own restoration, frequently superior
+to the most skillful aid of learned research. But when compelled to
+avail yourself of medical assistance, seek that which _science_ and
+_integrity_ render safest. No sensible man, one would think, will
+intrust the best boon of earth to the merciless experiments of
+unprincipled and ignorant charlatans, or credulously swallow quack
+medicines recommended by old women: and yet, while people employ the
+most accomplished hatter, tailor, and boot-maker, whose services they
+can secure, they will give up the _inner_ man to the influence of such
+impositions upon the credulity of humanity!
+
+Assuming, as an accepted truth, that it is your purpose, through life,
+to admit the rights of our fair tyrants
+
+    "In court or cottage, wheresoe'er their home,"
+
+I will commend to you the early acquisition of habits appropriate to our
+relations to women as their _protectors_. In dancing, riding, driving,
+walking, boating, travelling, etc., etc.,--wherever the sexes are
+brought together in this regard (and where are they not, indeed, when
+commingled at all?)--observe the gentle courtesies, exhibit the watchful
+care, that go far towards constituting the settled charms of such
+intercourse. It is not to be forgotten, as I think I have before
+remarked, that women judge of character, often, from trifling details;
+thus, any well-bred woman will be able to tell you which of her
+acquaintances habitually removes his hat, or throws aside his cigar,
+when addressing her, and who, of all others, is most watchful for her
+comfort, when she is abroad under his escort. Be sure, too, that this
+same fair one could confess, if she would make a revelation on the
+subject, exactly what men she shuns because they break her fans,
+disarrange her bouquets, tear her flounces, touch her paintings and
+prints with moist fingers (instead of merely _pointing_ to some part)
+handle delicate _bijouterie_ with dark gloves, dance with uncovered
+hands, etc., etc. But even if you are her _confidant_, she will not tell
+you how often her quick sensibility is wounded by fancying herself the
+subject of the _smirks_, _whispers_, and _knowing glances_ in which some
+men indulge when grouped with their kindred bipeds, in society!
+
+At the risk of subjecting myself to the charge of repetition, I will
+endeavor, before concluding this letter, to enumerate such Habits as, in
+addition to those of which I have already spoken, I deem most entitled
+to the attention of those who are establishing a system of life.
+
+_Habits of reading and studying_ once thoroughly formed, are invaluable,
+not only as affording a ready resource against _ennui_, or idleness,
+everywhere and under all circumstances, but as necessarily involving the
+acquisition of knowledge, even when of the most desultory character. It
+is wonderful how much general information may be gleaned by this
+practice of reading _something_ whenever one has a few spare grains of
+the "_gold-dust of Time_,"--minutes. I once found a remarkably
+well-informed woman of my acquaintance waiting to make breakfast for her
+husband and me, with a little old _dictionary_ open in her hand. "For
+what word are you looking, so early?" I inquired, as I discovered the
+character of the volume she held. "For no one in particular," returned
+she, "but one can always add to one's stores from any book, were it
+only in the matter of _spelling_." But the true way, of course, to
+derive most advantage from this enjoyment is to _systematize_ in
+relation to it, reading well-selected books with care and attention
+sufficient to enable us permanently to add the information they contain
+to our previous mental possessions.
+
+You will only need to be reminded how much ease and elegance in _Reading
+aloud_ depend upon _habit_.
+
+Without the _Habit of Industry_, good resolutions, the most sincere
+desire for self-improvement, and the most desirable natural gifts, will
+be of comparatively little avail for the practical purposes of
+existence. This unpretending attribute, together with _System_ and
+_Regularity_, has achieved more for the good of the race, than all the
+erratic efforts of genius combinedly.
+
+"Don't run about," says a sensible writer, "and tell your acquaintances
+you have been unfortunate; people do not like to have unfortunate men
+for acquaintances. Add to a vigorous determination, a cheerful spirit;
+if reverses come, bear them like a philosopher, and get rid of them as
+soon as you can." _Cheerfulness_ and _Contentment_, like every other
+mental quality, may be cultivated until they materially assist us in
+enduring
+
+    "The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,"
+
+and early attention to the attainment of these mental habits is a matter
+of both personal and relative duty.
+
+Cherish _self-respect_ as, next to a firm religious faith, the best
+safeguard to respectability and peace of mind. Entirely consistent
+with--indeed, in a degree, productive of the most careful consideration
+of the rights of others, the legitimate development of this quality will
+tend to preserve you from unwise confidences, from injudicious
+intimacies, and from gross indulgences and unworthy pursuits. This will
+sustain you in the manly acknowledgment of _poverty_, if that shall
+chance to be your lot, when pride and principle contend for the mastery
+in practical matters, and enable you to realize fully, that
+
+    "To bear, is to conquer our fate!"
+
+This will strengthen you to the endurance of that which nothing but
+absolute insignificance can escape--_calumny_. It will preserve you
+alike from an undue eagerness in defending yourself from unjust
+aspersion, and from a servile fear of "the world's dread laugh," from
+meriting and from resenting scandal, and convince you that its most
+effectual contradiction consists in a _virtuous life_. By listening to
+the dictates of this powerful _coadjutor of conscience_, you will
+believe with the poet, that
+
+    "Honor and Fame from no _condition_ rise,"
+
+and thus, with straightforward and unvarying purpose, illustrate your
+adoption of the motto,
+
+    "_Act well your part_, there all the honor lies!"
+
+While I would earnestly counsel you to avoid that constant
+_self-consciousness_ which is nearly allied to vanity and egotism, if
+not identical with them, you will find the habitual practice of
+_self-examination_ greatly conducive to improvement. A calm, impartial
+analysis of words and actions, tracing each to their several motives,
+must tend to assist us to _know ourselves_, which an ancient
+philosopher, you may remember, pronounced the highest human attainment.
+Arraign yourself, without the advantage of _special pleading_, to borrow
+a legal phrase, at the bar of conscience, regarding this arbiter as the
+voice of Divinity enshrined within us, whenever assailed by doubts
+respecting any course of conduct you have adopted, or propose to adopt,
+and where you are thus taught to draw the line of demarcation between
+right and wrong,
+
+    "Let that aye be your border."
+
+In this connection permit me to recommend the regular study of the
+_Bible_, and a systematic attendance upon public worship on the Sabbath.
+Do not read this most wonderful of books as _a task_, nor yet permit the
+trammels of early associations, hereditary prejudice, or blind
+superstition, to interfere with your search for the truths contained in
+its pages. Try to read the Scriptures as you would any other book, with
+the aid of such collateral information as you may be able to obtain
+respecting the origin of the several, and wholly, distinct productions
+of which it is composed, the authors of each, the purposes for which
+they were composed, and, in short, possess yourself of every available
+means of giving reality, simplicity, and truthfulness to your
+investigations. Study the _Life of Christ_, as written by the personal
+friends who were most constantly and intimately associated with him.
+Ponder upon his familiar sayings, remembered, and recorded in their
+simple memoranda, by the unlettered men who most frequently listened to
+them, compare the acts of Christ with his doctrines as a teacher, and
+judge for yourselves whether history, ancient or modern, has any
+parallel for the _Perfection of the Model_ thus exhibited to the human
+race. Decide whether he was not the only earthly being who "never did an
+injury, never resented one done to him, never uttered an untruth, never
+practised a deception, and never lost an opportunity of doing good."
+Having determined this point in your own minds, adopt this glorious
+pattern for imitation, and adhere to it, until you find a truer and
+better model. We have nothing to do in judging of this matter with the
+imperfect illustrations afforded by the lives of professed imitators of
+Christ of the perfectibility to which his teachings tend. Why look to
+indifferent copies, when the great original is ever before us! Why seek
+in the frailty and fallibility of human nature a justification of
+personal distrust and indifference?
+
+No _gentleman_--to come to practicalities again--will indulge in
+ridiculing what intelligent, enlightened persons receive as truth, on
+any point, much less upon this. Nor will a well-bred man permit himself
+the habit of being _late at church_--were it only that those who stand
+in a _servile relation to others_, are often deprived of time for
+suitable preliminaries of the toilet, etc., he will carefully avoid this
+vulgarity.
+
+The tendency to _materialism_, so strongly characterizing the age in
+which we live, produces, among its pernicious collateral effects, a
+disposition to reduce "Heaven's last, best gift to man" to the same
+practical standard by which we judge of all matters of the outer
+life,--of _each other_ especially. Well might Burke deplore the
+departure of the Age of Chivalry! But not even the prophetic eye of
+genius could discern the degeneracy that was to increase so rapidly,
+from the day in which he wrote, to this. As a mere matter of personal
+gratification, I would cherish the inclination to _idealize_ in regard
+to the fairer part of creation! There is enough that is stern, hard,
+baldly utilitarian, in life; we have no need to rob this "one fair
+spirit" of every poetic attribute, by system! Few habits have so much
+the effect to elevate us above the clods we tread ploddingly over in the
+dreary highway of mortal existence, as that of investing woman with the
+purest, highest attributes of our common nature, and bearing ourselves
+towards her in accordance with these elevated sentiments. And when
+compelled, in individual instances, to set aside these cherished
+impressions, let nothing induce us to forget that _passive, silent
+forbearance_ is our only resource. True manhood can never become the
+active antagonist of _defencelessness_.
+
+I am almost ashamed to remind you of the gross impropriety of speaking
+loosely and loudly of ladies of your acquaintance in the hearing of
+strangers, of desecrating their names by mouthing them in bar-rooms and
+similar public places, scribbling them upon windows, recording them,
+without their permission, in the registers kept at places visited from
+curiosity, etc., etc. _You have no moral right to take such liberties in
+this respect, as you would not tolerate in the relation of brother, son,
+or husband._
+
+_Think_, then, and _speak_, ever, with due reverence of those guardian
+angels,
+
+    "Into whose hands from first to last,
+    This world with all its destinies,
+    Devotedly by Heaven seems cast!"
+
+If you determine to conform yourselves, as far as in you lies, to the
+model presented for your imitation by Him who said--"Be ye, therefore,
+perfect, even as I am perfect," you will not disregard the cultivation
+of a _ready sympathy_ with the sufferings and trials of your fellow
+beings. In place of adopting a system that will not only steel your
+heart, but infuse into your whole nature distrust and suspicion, you
+will, like Him who went about doing good, quickly discern suffering, in
+whatever form it presents itself, and minister, at least, the balm of a
+kind word, when naught else may be offered. You will thus learn not only
+to pity the erring, but, perchance, sometimes to ask yourselves in
+profound humility--"_who hath made me to differ_?"
+
+Young men sometimes fall into the impression that a mocking
+insensibility to human woe is manly--something grand and distinguished.
+So they turn with lofty scorn from a starving child, make the
+embarrassment and distress of a poor mother with a wailing infant the
+subject of audible mirth in a rail-car, or stage-coach, ridicule the
+peevishness of illness, the tears of wounded sensibility, or the
+confessions of the penitent! Now, it seems to me, that all this is
+super-human in its sublime elevation! My small knowledge of the history
+of the greatly good, affords no parallels for the adoption of such a
+creed. I have read of a Howard who terminated a life devoted to the
+benefit of his race, in a noisome dungeon, where he sought to minister
+to human suffering; of a Fenelon, and a Cheverus whose _Catholic_ spirit
+broke the thralling restrains of sectarianism, in favor of general
+humanity; of the graceful chivalry and large benevolence of Sir Walter
+Raleigh and Sir Philip Sidney; of triumphant soldiers who bound up the
+wounds and preserved the lives of a fallen foe; of a Wilberforce, a
+Pease, and a Father Mathew; of Leigh Richmond, Reginald Heber, and
+Robert Hall; of the parable of the good Samaritan, and of its Divine
+Author--and I believe the mass of mankind agree with me in, at least, an
+abstract admiration for the characters of each! And though no great
+achievements in the cause of Philanthropy may be in our power, though no
+mighty deeds may embalm our memories amid the imperishable records of
+Time, let us not overlook those small acts of kindness, those trifling
+proofs of sympathy, which all have at command. A look, a word, a
+smile--what talismanic power do even these sometimes possess! Remember,
+then, that,
+
+                  "----Heaven decrees
+    To all the _gift of ministering to ease_!"
+
+In close association with the wish to minister to the happiness of
+others, as far as in us lies, is that of avoiding every self-indulgence
+that may interfere with the comfort or the rights of others. Hence the
+cultivation of _good-humor_, and of habits of _neatness_, _order_, and
+_regularity_. Prompted by this rule, we will not _smoke_ in the streets,
+in rail-cars, on the decks of steamers, at the entrance of concert and
+lecture rooms, or in parlors frequented by ladies. We will not even
+forget that neglect of _matters of the toilet_, in the nicest details,
+may render us unpleasant companions for those accustomed to
+fastidiousness upon these points.
+
+To the importance of well-regulated habits of Exercise, Temperance, and
+Relaxation, I have already called your attention in a previous Letter.
+
+Nothing tends more effectually to the production of genuine
+independence, than personal _Economy_. No habit will more fully enable
+you to be generous as well as just, and to gratify your better impulses
+and more refined tastes, than the exercise of this unostentatious art.
+
+Remember that _meanness_ is not economy, any more than it is integrity.
+
+To be wisely economical requires the exercise of the reflective
+faculties united with practical experience, self-denial, and moral
+dignity. Rightly viewed, there is nothing in it degrading to the noblest
+nature.
+
+_Punctuality_ both in pleasure and in business engagements, is alike due
+to others, and essential to personal convenience. You will, perhaps,
+have observed that this was one of the distinguishing traits of
+Washington.
+
+Somebody says--"Ceremony is the Paradise of Fools." The same may be said
+with equal truth, of _system_. To be truly _free_, one should not be the
+slave of any one rule, nor of many combined. _System_, like other
+agencies, if judiciously regulated, materially aids the establishment of
+good habits generally, and thus places us beyond the dominion of
+
+    "_Circumstance, that unspiritual god._"
+
+Sir Joshua Reynolds used to remark that "Nothing is denied to
+well-directed effort." Let _Perseverance_ then, be united with
+_Excelsior_ in your practical creed.
+
+I think I have made some allusion to the _Art of Conversation_. Let me
+"make assurance doubly sure," by the emphatic recommendation of
+_practice_ in this elegant accomplishment. All mental acquisitions are
+the better secured by the habit of _putting ideas into words_. By this
+process, thought becomes clearer, more _tangible_, so to speak, and new
+ideas are actually engendered, while we are giving expression to those
+previously in our possession.
+
+In addition to the individual advantage accruing from this excellent
+mode of training yourselves for easy and effective _extemporaneous
+public speaking_, it should not be overlooked, as affording the means of
+conferring both pleasure and benefit upon others. Taciturnity and
+self-engrossment, you may remark, are not the prominent characteristics
+of the favorites of society.
+
+Nor does the practice of ready speaking necessarily interfere with
+habits of _Reflection_ and _Observation_. On the contrary, the mental
+activity thus promoted, naturally leads to the accumulation of
+intellectual material by every available means. Discrimination in
+judging of character, and true _knowledge of the world_, without which
+all abstract knowledge is comparatively of little avail, can never be
+attained except through the persevering exercise of these powers.
+
+Shall I venture to remind you, my dear young friends, that the
+manifestation of _respect for misfortune, suffering, and age_, may
+become one of your attributes by the force of habit strengthening good
+impulses.
+
+Will you think me deficient in utilitarianism if I recommend to you a
+cultivation of the _power to discern the Beautiful_, as a perpetual
+source of pure and exalted enjoyment? Hard, grinding, soul-trammelling,
+is the dominion of real life; will we be less worthy of our immortal
+destinies, that we cherish an _inner sense_, by which we readily
+perceive moral beauty, shining as a ray from the very altar of Divinity,
+or the tokens of the presence of that Divinity afforded by the wonders
+of the natural world? Let us not be mere beasts of burden, so laden with
+the cares, the anxieties, or even the duties of life, as to have no eye
+for the unobtrusive, but often fragrant and lovely flowers, that bloom
+along the most neglected of our daily paths.
+
+Speaking of the Beautiful, reminds me that ours is the only civilized
+land where the aesthetical perceptions of the people are not a sufficient
+safeguard to the preservation of _Works of Art_, in their humblest as
+well as most magnificent exhibitions. Nothing short of the brutalizing
+influence of a Reign of Terror will tempt a Parisian populace to the
+desecration of these expressions of refinement, taste, and beauty; while
+among us, not even an ornamental paling, inclosing a private residence,
+or the colonnade of a public edifice, escapes staring tokens of the
+presence of this gothic barbarism in our midst.
+
+You will scarcely need to be cautioned against confounding mere
+_curiosity_ with a liberal and enlightened observation of life and
+manners. All those indications of undue curiosity respecting the private
+affairs of others, expressed by listening to conversation not intended
+for the general ear, watching the _asides_ of society, glancing at
+letters addressed to another, or asking direct questions of a personal
+nature, are unmistakable proofs of ignorance of the rules of polished
+life, though they are not as reprehensible as _evil-speaking_, a love
+of _scandal_, or the practice of violating either the _confidence_ of
+friends or the _sacredness of private conversation_.
+
+Though a vast difference is created in this respect by difference of
+temperament, yet no man can hope to acquire the degree of
+_self-possession_ that shall fit him for a successful encounter with the
+ever-varying emergencies demanding its illustration, without repeated
+and re-repeated struggles and discomfitures. But so invaluable is the
+treasure, so essential to the legitimate exercise of every faculty of
+our being, that defeat should only render more indomitable the "will to
+do, the soul to dare," in persevering endeavors to secure its permanent
+acquisition.
+
+Let me impress upon you the truth that self-possession is the legitimate
+result of a _well-disciplined mind_, and that it is properly expressed
+by a _quiet_ and _modest bearing_.
+
+In conclusion, let me earnestly and affectionately assure you that the
+formation of right habits, though necessarily attended, for a time, by
+failures, difficulties, or discouragements, will eventually prove its
+own all-sufficient reward. Habitude of thought, language, appointment,
+and manner that shall entitle you to claim
+
+    "The good old name of _Gentleman_,"
+
+once yours, and you will be armed, point of proof, against the exacting
+capriciousness of fashion, and forever exempted from the tortures often
+inflicted upon the sensitive, by the insidious invasions of
+self-distrust!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Strolling through the Crystal Palace at London, soon after it was
+opened, with a young fellow-countryman, he suddenly broke out
+with--"Will you just look at that fellow, colonel?" Turning and
+following the direction indicated by his eye (not his finger or
+walking-stick, he was too well-bred _to point_!) I discerned, in a
+different part of the building, Queen Victoria, accompanied by Prince
+Albert and two of the royal children, examining some articles in the
+American Department. Very near the stopping-place of this distinguished
+party, a representative of the "universal Yankee nation," had stationed
+himself--perhaps in a semi-official capacity--upon the apex of some
+elevation, with his hat on, and his long legs dangling down in front,
+nearly on a level with the heads of passers-by.
+
+We could not hear the words of her Majesty, but it was apparent that she
+addressed some inquiry to him of the legs. First ejecting a torrent of
+tobacco-juice from his mouth, and rolling away the huge quid that
+obstructed his utterance, he deliberately proceeded to give the
+explanation desired, retaining not only his position, but his hat, the
+while!
+
+Meantime, as soon as the Queen commenced addressing this person, her
+Royal Consort removed his hat, and remained uncovered until she again
+moved on. I shall not soon forget the face of my companion. Shame and
+indignation contended for the mastery on his burning cheek!
+
+"Good G----, Colonel!" he exclaimed, "to think of such a mere brute as
+that being regarded as a fair specimen of the advance of civilization
+among us! 'Tis enough to make a decent man disclaim his birthright here!
+And yet, I have little enough to boast of myself! Only think of my
+taking some English gentlemen who were in New-York a month or two ago,
+to see our _parks_ (heaven save the mark!) among other objects of
+interest in the city! Yesterday, Sir John ----, who was one of the
+party, drove about London with me, and took me also to Kensington
+Garden, St. James' and Regent's Parks! I don't know what would tempt me
+again to undergo the thing! I rather think I am effectually cured,
+henceforth and for ever, of any inclination to _boast of anything
+whatever, personal or national_!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"As you are the only 'gentleman of elegant leisure' in the family, at
+present, Harry, suppose you take these girls to New York for a week or
+two. For my part, it's as much as I can do to provide money for the
+expedition," said your uncle William to me, one evening.
+
+"Oh, do, dear uncle Hal!" exclaimed Ida, with great vivacity, sitting
+down on a low stool at my feet, and clasping her hands upon my knee, "we
+always love dearly to go with you anywhere, you are so good to us."
+
+"Yes!" broke in William junior, "uncle Harry spoils you so completely by
+indulgence that I can do nothing with you. You're a most unruly set, at
+home and abroad."
+
+A sudden twitch at the end of his cravat effectually demolished the
+elegant tie upon which the young gentleman prides himself, as little
+Jule, who was close beside him, pretending to get her French lesson, and
+had perpetrated the mischief, cried out--"What's the reason, then, that
+you always take us all along, when you go out in the woods, and off to
+the shore--hey, Mr. Willie?"
+
+"Do be quiet, children," interrupted Ida, reprovingly; "now, uncle dear,
+won't you take us? I want some new traps badly."
+
+"What kind of traps?--mouse traps?"
+
+"_Man traps_, to be sure!"
+
+"Well, that's honest, at least, Puss."
+
+"My purposes are more murderous than Ida's," said Cornelia, laughing; "I
+want to buy a new _mankiller_, as Willie calls them."
+
+"It's too late in the season for mantillas," remarked Ida, profoundly.
+
+"A fashionable cloak will serve Cornelia's purpose equally well,"
+returned her father, quietly.
+
+"And, like the mantle of charity, it will hide a multitude of sins,"
+chimed in her brother.
+
+"Your running commentaries are highly edifying, my dear nephew," said I,
+and at the same moment a large red rose hit him full on the nose.
+
+It was soon arranged that your fair cousins should accompany me to the
+Empire City in a few days, and I, accordingly, sat down at once, and
+wrote to the "Metropolitan" for rooms.
+
+"What glorious times mother and I will have," I overheard William
+exclaim. "I shall take Jule under my especial protection, and hear her
+French lessons regularly."
+
+"No you won't, either," returned that young lady, with great spirit;
+"and I wish you'd stop tying my curls together, and mind your own
+affairs. No doubt you'll make noise enough to kill ma and me, while
+Corne and Dade are gone, drumming on the piano, and spouting your Latin
+speech before the drawing-room glass. All I wish is, that uncle Hal
+wasn't going away--he never lets you torment me."
+
+As we were entering the dining-room of our hotel, on the day of our
+arrival, our friend Governor S---- joined us, and, after shaking hands,
+in his usual cordial way, with us all, said, as he courteously took
+Cornelia's hand and folded it within his arm, "Will you allow me to
+attend you, Miss Lunettes? Colonel, by your leave. Miss Ida, will you
+let a lonely old fellow join your party? Where do you sit, Colonel?"
+
+"We have but just arrived," I replied, "but our seats are, of course,
+reserved; let me secure a seat for you with us, if possible. Ida, remain
+here a moment with Cornelia and Governor S----;" and presently, finding
+the proper person, the steward, or whatever the man of dining-room
+affairs is called, I arranged with him to seat us together, without
+interfering with other parties.
+
+While I was taking my soup, I became suddenly conscious that something
+was annoying your cousin Cornelia, who sat between me and S----.
+Glancing at her face, I saw there, in addition to a heightened color, an
+expression of mingled constraint and hauteur, quite inconsistent with
+her usual graceful self-possession and animation.
+
+Making some general remark to her, and showing no signs of curiosity, I
+began quietly to cast about me for the cause of this unwonted
+disturbance. Turning my head towards Ida, I overheard her saying,
+playfully, though in an undertone, to the senator, with whom she was
+already embarked upon the tide of talk: "He reminds me of an exquisite
+couplet in an old valentine of mine:
+
+    'Are not my ears as long as other asses', pray?
+    Don't I surpass all other asses at a bray?'"
+
+I was not long in detecting the secret cause of Cornelia's averted face
+and Ida's sportive quotation.
+
+"See here, John, get me some col' slaw and unions, will you--right off,"
+shouted a young man seated a little below us, on the opposite side of
+the table.
+
+I wish you could have seen the half-repressed wonder depicted in the
+countenance of the servant thus addressed, as he glanced at the piece
+of "_Mackerel a la maitre d'Hotel_," as the bill of fare called the
+_fish_ on his plate.
+
+Oh, for a Hogarth to do justice to the figure that had arrested my
+attention! The face was not bad, perhaps. A merry, dark eye, lit up with
+the very spirit of mischief and impudence; a tolerably high, but narrow
+forehead; thick, wild-looking black hair, parted on the top of the head,
+and bushy whiskers--add large, handsome teeth, displayed by full, red,
+ever-laughing lips, and you have the physiognomy. But the dress!
+
+    "Ye powers of every name and grace,"
+
+aid my poor endeavors to describe his toilette! A high shirt-collar,
+flaring wide from the throat, by the pugnacious manifestations of the
+sturdy whiskers aforesaid; a flashy neckcloth, tied in very broad bows,
+and with the long ends laid off pretty well towards the tips of the
+shoulders; a velvet waistcoat, of large pattern and staring colors,
+crossed by a heavy gold chain, from which dangled a gold-mounted
+eye-glass, broad ruffles to his shirt, fastened with huge studs of three
+opposing, but equally brilliant colors! A shining Holland-linen
+dust-coat completed this unique costume.
+
+Presently, some one at a distance suddenly attracted the roving eyes of
+our hero, and he began the most significant telegraphing with hands and
+head, designed, apparently, to persuade the other to come and sit by
+him. Turning, as if by accident, I saw a young man, near the entrance of
+the room, shaking his head very positively in the negative. But this
+was no quietus to our neighbor, who half rose from his seat.
+
+"Not room for the gentleman here, sir," said a major domo, coming up.
+
+"Yes there is, too, plenty of room! If you would just move _a leetle_,
+ma'am--so," pushing at the chair of an elderly woman, who seemed
+suddenly to grow more slender than ever, and at the same time hitching
+his own nearer to that of the person next him on the other side, "that
+will do, famously! Now, waiter, a plate! I hope I don't crowd you, sir
+[to the gentleman next him], we don't wear _hoops_ you know! can keep
+_tight_ without them!" The last, in a whisper, like a boatswain's
+whistle upon which the respectable female, who illustrated the
+mathematical definition of _a point_, bridled and reddened with virtuous
+indignation.
+
+Luckily the table was not as closely filled as it often is, and in much
+less time than it takes me to describe the scene, the triumph of the
+youth was complete, and a well-dressed, gentlemanly-looking man came
+forward, seemingly with considerable reluctance.
+
+"How are you, Fred, how are you? Right glad to see you, 'pon my
+soul--sit down! When'd you get in? Left all the folks well?"
+
+There was no avoiding hearing this tide of questions, poured out in a
+loud, hilarious tone, that rose over the subdued murmur of ordinary
+conversation, like the notes of a bugle, sounding amid the twittering
+of the feathered tenants of a grove. Apparently quite unconscious that
+any one else in his vicinity possessed powers of hearing and seeing, and
+wholly unobservant of the elevated eye-brows of some of his neighbors,
+and the significant looks and ill-suppressed smiles of the servants, the
+young man ran on with details of his own private affairs, interrogations
+respecting those of his companion, interspersed with loud and multiplied
+directions to the attendants. From my soul I pitied his victim! Deeper
+and deeper grew the flush of shame and embarrassment in his handsome
+face, more and more laconic and low-voiced his replies, and more uneasy
+his restless movements and glances.
+
+By and by two huge glasses of foaming strong-beer made their appearance.
+Beau Brummel's celebrated saying--"A gentleman may _port_; but he never
+_malts_," crossed my mind. With due deference to this high authority,
+for my part, I think a glass of London brown-stout, or Scotch ale, a
+pleasant accompaniment to a bit of cold meat and bread, when one is
+inclined to sup; but taking beer _at dinner_ is quite another affair.
+
+Well! there was a little lull for a time, only to be followed by a new
+sensation. One of the quick, galvanic movements of the nondescript
+overset a full bottle of wine, just as it was placed between himself and
+his friend, and he was in the act of saying, "If you don't drink beer,
+Fred, take some--by thunder that's too bad!"
+
+The dark-colored liquor poured over the table-cloth, and, dividing into
+numerous little streamlets, diverged in every direction from the parent
+source. Servants hurried forward with napkins to stay the progress of
+the flood, the gentleman next our hero coolly dammed up the stream that
+most alarmingly threatened his safety, with a piece of bread, and the
+slender female, whose slight pretentions to breadth had been so
+unceremoniously ignored, fidgeted uneasily under the table, as though
+apprehensive that the penetrating powers of the invading foe might be
+working in ambush, to the detriment of her light-hued drapery. But the
+face of the young stranger! It was positively mottled! His very
+forehead, before smooth and fair, suddenly suggested the idea that he
+was just recovering from the smallpox!
+
+Meantime, our little party were quietly pursuing the even tenor of their
+respective dinners. Suddenly I missed S----.
+
+"What has become of the Governor?" said I to Cornelia, in an under-tone.
+
+"A servant called him away," returned she, in the same unnoticeable
+manner. The next moment I again remarked the same peculiar movement
+towards me and the same expression of countenance, that had arrested my
+attention when we first sat down. A woman's quick instinct never
+deceives her! Apparently unheeding, I listened.
+
+"Dev'lish handsome! like her air!--wouldn't object to taking the seat
+myself, by George!" caught my ear.
+
+I think that young man understood the _fixed look_ with which I regarded
+him for the space of about half a minute! I was quite sure his companion
+did.
+
+By this time, the dessert was on the table.
+
+"Where're you going, Fred? you ain't done?" shouted the Hoosier, or
+whatever he was.
+
+"I have an engagement--I'll see you again," replied the gentleman thus
+addressed, springing up, and eluding the detaining grasp of his
+persecutor, quickly made good his escape.
+
+No sooner were we seated in one of the parlors, than Ida's pent-up
+merriment burst forth.
+
+"Did you hear what that poor young man said, when the other commenced
+reading the bill of fare, uncle," said she, "just before he darted out
+of the room?"
+
+"What, in particular, do you refer to, my dear? I heard a great deal
+more than I wished."
+
+"O, I mean when the _speaking-trumpet_, as Governor S---- called him,
+shouted out--'_fricandeau de veau!_--What's he, Fred? Do tell a fellow.'
+He was picking his teeth at the time, with a large goose-quill, with all
+the feathers on!"
+
+"Well, what was the answer?"
+
+"The poor martyr was, by that time, reduced to the _calmness of
+despair_," replied your cousin, laughing; "he answered, with a meaning
+air, I thought, '_A calf's head!--one of the entrees!_' Corne, I hope
+you did not lose the full effect of the great green and orange-colored
+peaches sprinkled over the vest of your admirer. Love at first sight, my
+dear! Never saw a more unmistakable smitation! What a triumph! Your
+first conquest since your arrival in New York, I believe, Miss
+Lunettes!" lisping affectedly, and bowing with mock deference.
+
+"Ida, you'll be overheard! I'm ashamed of you," returned the stately
+Cornelia, with an air of offended propriety.
+
+"It will never do, Puss," said I; "Corne is right. But, Corne, what
+happened to the senator?"
+
+"How courteous he is!" exclaimed the young lady, with sudden enthusiasm.
+"A servant came and whispered to him--'Miss Lunettes,' said he, turning
+to me, 'the only man in the world who could tempt me from your side--my
+best friend--asks for me on important business. Will you permit me to
+leave you, after requesting the honor of attending you?' Of course, I
+assented. 'Make my apologies to Miss Ida and Colonel Lunettes,' said he,
+as we shook hands, 'I am very unfortunate.'"
+
+"How quietly he slipped away," said Ida; "I knew nothing of it, until he
+was gone."
+
+"Well-bred people are always quiet," remarked the elder sister,
+significantly.
+
+"Oh, dear me!" retorted Ida, coloring. "Well, it's too much to expect of
+any one, not to laugh at such a nondescript specimen of humanity as that
+young man."
+
+The next morning, before I left my room, a card was brought to me,
+inscribed with the name of "Frederick H. Alloway," and inclosed with the
+following note:
+
+  "The son of one of Colonel Lunettes' old friends begs leave to
+  claim the honor of his acquaintance, and will do himself the
+  pleasure to pay his respects, at any hour, this morning, that will
+  be most agreeable to Colonel Lunettes.
+
+  "_Metropolitan Hotel_,
+  "_Wednesday Morn._"
+
+A half-revived remembrance of a face once familiar, had haunted me at
+the dinner table the day before, whenever I chanced to catch the eye of
+the victimized youth I have alluded to. I was, therefore, not unprepared
+to find him identical with the author of this note.
+
+A certain constraint was evinced by his manner, when the first
+complimentary phrases were over. At length his embarrassment found
+expression.
+
+"I am not sure, Colonel Lunettes," said he, "that I should have ventured
+to intrude upon you this morning--much as I desired to make the
+acquaintance of a gentlemen of whom I have so frequently heard my father
+speak--had I not wished to make an apology, or at least an
+explanation"----
+
+He hesitated, and the mottled color of the day before mantled over his
+ingenuous face. I hastened to say something polite.
+
+"You are very good, sir--really--scandalously as that young fellow
+behaved--he is not without redeeming qualities. My acquaintance with him
+is slight, and entirely accidental. One of our successful Western
+speculators, and a very good-hearted fellow--but sadly in need of
+polish."
+
+"So I perceived," returned I, gravely, "nor is that all. One can pardon
+_ignorance_ much more readily than _impudence_."
+
+"Very true, sir. I only hope that I was not so unfortunate as to incur
+your displeasure. I--permit me to express the hope that the ladies of
+your party did not regard me as in the most remote way implicated in an
+intention to annoy them," and his voice actually trembled with manly
+earnestness.
+
+"By no means, my dear young friend; by no means. I assure you, on the
+contrary, that you had our sympathy in your distress--comic as it was."
+
+The intense ludicrousness of the affair now seemed, for the first time,
+to take full possession of the perceptive faculties of my new
+acquaintance.
+
+When our mutual merriment had in some degree subsided, I invited him to
+dine with us, unless he preferred to resume his seat of the day before.
+
+"Heaven forbid!" exclaimed he, with great vivacity; "I should have left
+this house to-day, if that fellow had not--he is gone, I am rejoiced to
+say."
+
+It was arranged that the "son of my old friend," as he indeed was,
+should meet me in the drawing-room a few moments before dinner, and be
+presented to your cousins. So we parted.
+
+Almost the first person I saw as I was entering the public drawing-room,
+to join my nieces, before dinner, on that day, was young Alloway. He
+was evidently awaiting me, and, upon my recognizing him by a bow, at
+once advanced.
+
+"You are punctual, I see, Mr. Alloway," said I, as we seated ourselves;
+"a very good trait, in a young man!"
+
+"I fear, sir, there is little merit in being punctual with such a reward
+in anticipation," replied he, laughing pleasantly, and bowing to the
+ladies, as he spoke.
+
+Our new acquaintance, very properly, offered his arm to the _younger_
+sister, and I, of course, preceded them with the elder, and though, when
+we were seated together, he was quite too well-bred to confine either
+his attentions or his conversation to Ida, I must say that I have not
+often seen two young people become more readily at ease in each other's
+society than my lively favorite, and the "son of my old friend." They
+seemed to find each other out by intuition, and talked together in the
+most animated manner permitted by their unvarying regard for decorum.
+Their nearest neighbors were not disturbed by their mirthfulness, nor
+could persons seated opposite them hear their conversation, and yet
+Alloway was evidently fast being remunerated for the chagrin and
+embarrassment of his previous dinner.
+
+"Uncle Hal," said Cornelia, leaning towards me, as we sat together on a
+sofa, after leaving the table, glancing round to be sure that Ida heard
+her, "don't you think Minnesota gentlemen, _generally_, must be rather
+susceptible?"
+
+Her sister, turning
+
+    "The trembling lustre of her dewy eyes"
+
+upon the quizzical speaker, was interrupted in the spirited rejoinder
+she evidently meditated, by the return of Alloway, who had been up to
+his room for a pencil-sketch of the Falls of Minnehaha (between St.
+Paul's and the Falls of St. Anthony, you know) which he told us he had
+made on the spot, a few days before leaving his Western home.
+
+"How beautiful it must be there!" exclaimed Ida, delightedly. "And you
+are taking this to your mother! It reminds me of a 'Panorama of the
+Western Wilds,' I think it was called, to which papa took us in New
+York, last spring. I don't know when I saw anything so lovely! I had no
+just conception before of the magnificence and variety of the scenery of
+the far-West."
+
+"Why, my dear," said I quietly, just for my own amusement, and to watch
+the effect upon all parties, "you seem so charmed with these sketches of
+the West, that I think I must try and show you the originals by-and-by.
+How would you like to go with me to look after my Western investments
+next month?"
+
+"Just like uncle Hal!" I hear more than one of you crying. "He always
+plays the mischief among the young folks!" So, to punish your
+impertinence, I shall say nothing in particular, of the sudden light
+that shone in the fine eyes of our new friend, nor of the enthusiasm
+with which Ida clapped her hands and bravoed my proposition. Still more,
+I am by no means sure that I shall feel justified in telling you what
+came of all this in the future.
+
+After a while, some other young men came to speak to the girls, and
+Alloway, modestly withdrawing, lingered near me, as if wishing to
+address me. A lady was saying something to me at the moment. When she
+had finished speaking, I turned to my young friend.
+
+"Colonel Lunettes," said he, in the most polite and respectful manner,
+"the ladies inform me that they are to go with you to see some pictures,
+in the morning. Will you permit me to attend them?"
+
+Receiving my assent, he added, "My present mode of life affords few
+facilities for the inspection of works of Art; and I am so mere a tyro,
+too, that I shall be happy to have the benefit of your cultivated
+taste."
+
+"I dare say Mr. Alloway could instruct us all," interposed Ida, "that
+is, sister and me. Uncle Lunettes has spent so many years abroad, that
+he is, of course, quite _au fait_ in all such things."
+
+"At what hour do you propose going, ladies?" inquired Alloway.
+
+Twelve o'clock was fixed upon.
+
+"I shall have great pleasure in again meeting you all at that time,"
+said Alloway, and, as he shook hands with me, he added, with a
+significant smile, "I will endeavor to be quite _punctual_, Colonel!"
+
+"Who is that fine-looking young man, Colonel Lunettes?" asked the lady
+with whom I had been conversing, as I reseated myself at her side. "His
+manners are remarkably easy and graceful for so young a person. What a
+contrast he is to young J----, there, who, with all the advantages of
+education, foreign travel, and good society, is, and always will be, _a
+clown_! Just look at him, now, talking to those girls! Sitting, _of
+course_, upon two legs of his chair, and picking his teeth with a
+pen-knife!"
+
+"What would be the consequence," said I, "if he should lose his balance
+and fall backward, with his mouth open in that way, and his knife held
+by the tip end of the handle, poised upon his teeth?"
+
+"It looks really dangerous, don't it," commented the same slender
+female, whose _slight_ manifestations had interested me, at dinner, the
+day before--"but I suppose he is so used to it that"----
+
+A sudden movement arrested further philosophical speculation, on the
+part of this profound observer of life and manners, and a young lady
+whose flounces had been sadly torn by the very chair upon the occupant
+of which she was commenting, passed hurriedly out of the room, with her
+disordered dress gathered up in both hands.
+
+The next morning, some time before the hour appointed for our visit to
+the Dusseldorf Gallery, a servant brought me the following note:
+
+  "Mr. Alloway regrets extremely that an unexpected, but imperative,
+  engagement, deprives him of the anticipated pleasure of
+  accompanying the Misses and Colonel Lunettes this morning.
+
+  "Will Colonel Lunettes oblige Mr. Alloway by making his compliments
+  acceptable to the Misses Lunettes, together with the most sincere
+  expressions of his disappointment?
+
+  "METROPOLITAN HOTEL,
+  "_Thursday Morning_."
+
+"I am so sorry!" exclaimed Ida, when informed of this. "Uncle Hal is
+always beau enough, but the more the merrier, you know, dear uncle,"
+added she, linking her arm in mine, and looking artlessly up into my
+face.
+
+"You are quite right, my dear," said I. "I like your frankness, and I am
+sorry to lose Alloway myself."
+
+As I was going out of the "Ladies' Entrance" with your cousins, I
+perceived my young friend supporting the steps of a pale, emaciated
+gentleman, who coughed violently, and walked with difficulty, even from
+the carriage to the door, though sustained on the other side also by an
+elderly lady. I drew the girls aside, that they might pass
+uninterruptedly.
+
+"I hope you are well this morning, ladies," said Alloway, raising his
+hat, as he caught sight of us. "Good morning, Colonel Lunettes."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Good morning, again, ladies!" said a cheerful, but subdued voice behind
+us, as the girls and I were seated together, examining the merry
+"Wine-tasters" of the Gallery, after having devoted some time to
+subjects of a more elevated moral tone.
+
+We turned our heads simultaneously. "Good morning, sir," said Alloway,
+for it was he; "with your leave, I will join you now."
+
+Your cousins made room for him between them. "I am so happy not wholly
+to lose this," said he, bowing to each of the ladies. "I feared I could
+not meet you here even as early as this."
+
+"We would have waited for you," interposed Ida; "why didn't you tell
+us?"
+
+"I did not think for a moment of taking such a liberty," returned the
+young man. "It would, perhaps, have interfered with your other
+engagements. Indeed, I scarcely hoped to find you here, but could not
+deny myself the pleasure of coming in search of you."
+
+"Which is your favorite picture here, Miss Lunettes?" I heard Alloway
+ask presently.
+
+"Come and see," returned she, and, rising, she added, "come,
+sister--uncle, we will return, do not disturb yourself."
+
+Loitering along toward them, a while after, I remarked, as I approached,
+the expressive faces of the group, and their graceful attitudes, as they
+discussed Cornelia's "favorite," and reflected how much the poetry and
+beauty that environ youth, when refined by nature and polished by
+education, surpass the highest achievements of art.
+
+"What innocence in that face! What dewy softness in the steadfast
+eyes!" exclaimed Cornelia. "The very shoes have an appropriate
+expression! dear little bird! one can't help loving her, and wanting to
+know all about her."
+
+"If she were not deaf and dumb," said her cavalier, "I am sure she would
+rise and make a courtesy to such flattering admirers! I am getting
+dreadfully jealous of her!"
+
+"You needn't be, as far as I am concerned," retorted Ida; "for my part,
+I don't like that brown stuff dress! She isn't _fixed up_ a bit, as
+children always are, when they sit for their portraits." And she tripped
+away to take another look at her especial admiration--the "_Peasants
+Returning from the Harvest-field_," which is, indeed, a gem.
+
+"What does Miss Ida mean?" inquired Alloway, smilingly, of her sister.
+
+"I am sure I don't know," returned Cornelia, "she is full of sentiment,
+which she always endeavors to hide."
+
+"With your permission I will go and ask her," said the admirer of the
+truant, and bowing politely to us both, he followed Ida.
+
+I will just add, here, that I learned afterwards, accidentally, and not
+even remotely through him, that the persons with whom we met Alloway
+that morning, were the mother and brother of that scapegrace we first
+saw him with. They had come to New York with the understanding that he
+would meet them there, at an appointed time, and assist in the care
+required by his dying relative; but this promising youth had suddenly
+left the city, without leaving any clue to his proceedings, probably, in
+pursuit of some pretty face, which, like Cornelia's, happened to attract
+his attention. Luckily, the poor mother learned that Alloway, who was
+slightly known to her, was in the city, and appealed to him for
+assistance--with what success may be inferred from the little incident I
+have narrated.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It has always been a matter of marvel, with the learned in such matters,
+how Sir Walter Scott accomplished such Herculean literary labors in
+conjunction with the discharge of so many public and social duties. As
+he himself used to say, he long had a "troop of dragoons galloping
+through his head," to which, as their commanding officer, he devoted
+much attention; he was sheriff of the county--(in the discharge of the
+duties of this office, by the way, he used to march through the streets
+of the shire-town, during court term, arrayed in a gown and bag wig, at
+the head of his _posse comitatus_, greatly to his own amusement and that
+of his friends)--and remarkable for the most urbane and diffusive
+hospitality. After he ceased to be the _Great Unknown_, or rather, after
+he was identified with that celebrity, Abbotsford became the resort of
+innumerable visitors, attracted thither by curiosity, interest, or
+friendship. Not only his beautiful residence, but the numerous points
+of scenery and the superb ruins in the neighborhood of Abbotsford, which
+had been rendered classic by his magic pen, were to be inspected by
+these guests, and Scott always seemed to have time for a gallop among
+the hills, an excursion to Dryburgh and Melrose Abbey, a pilgrimage
+along the banks of the romantic river he has helped to immortalize, or a
+lively chat with the ladies after dinner. And he never had that air of
+pre-occupation that so often characterizes literary men, in general
+society. He took part in the most genial and hearty manner, in the
+conversation of the moment, bringing his full quota to the common stock
+of mirth, anecdote and jest. I can almost see him, as I write, sitting
+in the midst of a social circle, in his drawing-room, trotting the
+curly-pated little son of Mrs. Hemans, who was at Abbotsford on a visit,
+with her sister and this child, upon his _strong_ knee, and singing,
+
+    "Charley my darling, my darling, Charley my darling,"
+
+at intervals, for the amusement of the little fellow. I chanced, too, to
+accompany him, when he attended the poetess to her post-chaise, on the
+morning of her departure, and had occasion to remark his courteous
+hospitality to the last. "There are some persons," said he, with his
+cordial smile, as he offered his hand at parting, "whom one earnestly
+desires to meet again. You, madam, are one of those." But I am quite
+forgetting the object that induced my recurrence to these
+well-remembered scenes.
+
+In answer to some leading remark of mine, regarding the wonderful
+versatility of his father-in-law, addressed to Mr. Lockhart, as we stood
+together contemplating the ivy-mantled walls of Dryburgh, he informed me
+of the secret of his extraordinary achievements with the pen: "When you
+meet him at breakfast," said Mr. Lockhart, "he has already, as he
+expresses it, 'broken the neck of the day's work'--_he writes in the
+morning_. Eschewing the indulgences of late rising and slippered ease
+(at the last he rails incontinently), he is up with the lark--by half
+past four or five, dresses as you see him at a later hour, in out-door
+costume, visits the stables, and then sets himself resolutely to work.
+By nine o'clock, when he joins us, he has accomplished the labors of a
+day, almost."
+
+"His correspondence alone must occupy an immense deal of time," said I.
+
+"And yet," returned my companion, "Sir Walter makes it a rule to answer
+every letter on the day of its reception. It must be an urgent cause
+that interferes with this habit. And I am often astonished at the length
+and careful composition of his replies to the queries of literary
+correspondents, as well as to his letters of friendship."
+
+"One would suppose his health must be impaired by such severe mental
+labor," I answered.
+
+"His cheerful temper, and his power to _leave care behind him_ in his
+study, are a great assistance to him," replied Mr. Lockhart, moving
+towards our horses, as he spoke--"but here," he added, smilingly,
+laying his hand on his saddle, "here is his grand preservative. It must
+be foul weather, indeed, even for our Northern land of mists and clouds,
+that keeps him from his _daily allowance of fresh air_."
+
+"Sir Walter is an accomplished horseman, I observe," said I, as we
+resumed our ride.
+
+"You may well say that!" exclaimed his son-in-law, laughing. "I wish you
+could have seen him at the head of his troop of horse, charging an
+imaginary foe. Only the other day, his favorite steed broke the arm of a
+groom who attempted to mount him; and yet, in Sir Walter's hands, he is
+as docile as need be. There seems to be some secret understanding
+between him and his horses and dogs. This very horse, though he will
+never permit another man to mount him, seems to obey his master's
+behests with real pride as well as pleasure. I believe he would kneel to
+receive him on his back, were he bidden to do so."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Dipping into an instructive and pleasant, though no longer new book,[14]
+the other day, I came across the following passage: "Brougham has
+recorded that the peroration of his speech in the Queen's case"--his
+celebrated defence of Queen Caroline against her beastly husband--"was
+written no less than ten times before he thought it fit for so august an
+occasion. The same is probably true of similar passages in Webster's
+speeches; it is known to be so of Burke's." What do you think of such
+examples of industry and perseverance as these, young gentlemen?
+
+  [14] Sketches of Reform and Reformers,--by _H. B. Stanton_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Step in, ma'am, step in, if you please," said our Jehu, opening the
+door of a stage-coach, in which I was making a journey through a region
+not then penetrated by modern improvements, "would you like the back
+seat?" Beside him stood a slightly-formed, delicate-looking girl, in a
+hesitating attitude.
+
+"I cannot ride backwards without being ill," said she, timidly, "and
+I--I shall be sorry to disturb any one, but I would like to sit by a
+window."
+
+A young man who was sitting on the middle seat with me immediately
+alighted, to make room for the more convenient entrance of the stranger,
+and, as he did so, the driver said decidedly--"Shall be obliged to ask
+the gentlemen on the back seat to accommodate the lady." A low-browed,
+surly-looking young fellow, who sat nearest the door of the vehicle, on
+the seat designated, doggedly kept his place, muttering something about
+having the first claim, "first come, first served," etc. Seeing how
+matters stood, a good-natured, farmer-like looking old man, who occupied
+the other end of the seat, called out cheerily, "The young woman is
+welcome to my place, if I can only get out of it!" and he began at once
+to suit the action to the word.
+
+By this time the before pale face of the young girl was painfully
+flushed, and she said, in a low, deprecating tone, "I am very sorry to
+make so much trouble."
+
+"No trouble at all, ma'am--none at all! Just reach me your hand and I'll
+help you up--that's it!"
+
+"I am much obliged to you, sir--very much! I hope you will find a good
+seat for yourself," said the recipient of his kindness, gently.
+
+"No doubt of it!" returned he of the cheery voice. "I ain't at all sorry
+to change a little--them back seat's plaguy cramped up! They say," added
+he, settling himself next the boot, "that the front seat's the easiest
+of all. One thing, there's more room [stretching his legs with an air of
+infinite relief between those of his opposite neighbors], a deuced
+sight!"
+
+"Take your fare, gem'men," cried a bustling personage, at this moment.
+
+"What is the fare from here to O----?" inquired the stationary biped in
+the corner behind me.
+
+"Six shillings, York money," was the ready response.
+
+"Six shillings!" growled the other; "seems to me there's great extortion
+all 'long this road. Yesterday I paid out three dollars, hard
+money--twelve shillin' for lodgin', supper, and breakfast, back here to
+G----!"
+
+"Take your fare _now_, sir," interrupted the bustling little man at the
+door, stepping upon the wheel, in sublime indifference to the muttered
+anathemas, half addressed to him. "What name, sir?"--preparing to write
+on the "way-bill"--"_always_, sir! it is rulable--always put down the
+name."
+
+The low voice of the lady, when she was reached, in due order, was
+almost lost in the grumbling kept up by the agreeable occupant of the
+corner seat. The most amusing commingling of opposite sounds reached my
+ears, somewhat like the soft tones of a distant flute, and the
+growling--not loud, but deep--of a hungry mastiff. "Julia
+Peters"--"takes off the silver, by thunder!"--"Is my band-box put on?"
+here a chinking, as of money counted, and then a hurried fumbling
+appeared to take place in the "deepest depths" of various pockets. "How
+soon will we be there," in silvery murmurs--"By George! I swear I
+b'lieve I lost two shillin'!"--"Before dark!" chimed in the flute-notes.
+"I am glad to hear it!" "I'll be hanged if any one shall come it over
+me!" surged over the musical ripple. "When you stop at my
+brother-in-law's," concluded the softer voice, in this unique duet.
+
+Having been sometime on the wing, I fell into a doze, as we proceeded.
+As I roused myself, at length, the young man who had alighted to make
+room for the entrance of Miss Peters, whispered, "That young lady seems
+very ill--what can we do for her relief?" A moment's attention convinced
+me that the poor thing was horribly _stage-sick_. When she appeared to
+rally a little, I turned round to her, and said, that I trusted she
+would allow me to render her any service in my power. Forcing a smile,
+she thanked me, and replied that she would soon be better she thought,
+adding, in a still lower tone, that the _smell of tobacco_ always
+affected her very sensibly. This last remark was at the time
+unintelligible to me, but I afterwards learned that the animal on the
+same seat with her had regaled himself upon the vilest of cigars while I
+was napping, and that the only attempt at an apology he had offered was
+a mumbled remark that, "as the wind blew the smoke out of the stage, he
+s'posed no one hadn't no objections!"
+
+Despite the hope expressed by my suffering neighbor, she did _not_ get
+better, but continued to endure a most exhausting ordeal. Every decent
+man in the coach seemed to sympathize with her, the rather that she so
+evidently tried to make the best of it, and to avoid annoying others.
+Every one had a different remedy to suggest, but, unfortunately, none of
+them available, as there was no stopping place near. Though a somewhat
+experienced traveller, my ingenuity could, until we should stop, effect
+no more than disposing my large woollen shawl so as to aid in supporting
+the weary head of the poor child.
+
+As soon as we reached the next place for changing horses, I sprang out,
+in common with the other passengers, and, inquiring for the nearest
+druggist, hastened to procure a little reliable _brandy_.
+
+Having previously arranged a change of seats with the harmless stripling
+who had thus far occupied the middle back seat, I entered the stage, and
+quietly told the young lady that, as there was no one of her own sex
+aboard, I should claim the privilege of age, and prescribe for her, if
+she would permit me.
+
+"This is not a pleasant dose, I must warn you," said I, offering her a
+_single teaspoonful of clear brandy_, "but I can safely promise you
+relief, if you will swallow it; this is a nice, clean glass, too," I
+added, smilingly, for I well knew how much that assurance would
+encourage my patient.
+
+"I do not know how to thank you sufficiently, sir," said the young lady,
+striving to speak cheerfully, as she attempted to raise her head. Taking
+the tumbler, with a trembling hand, she bravely swallowed my
+prescription. I must own she gasped a little afterwards, but I could not
+allow her the relief of water, without nullifying the proper effect, so
+I assisted her in removing her bonnet (which the good-natured farmer,
+who had re-entered the coach with me, carefully pinned upon the lining
+of the vehicle, where it would safely swing), and in enveloping her head
+in her veil, adjusting her shawl comfortably about her, and wrapping my
+own about her feet.
+
+"If I become your physician," said I, as I stooped to make the latter
+process more effectual, "you must allow me the right to do as I think
+best."
+
+"I shall be only too much obliged by your kindness, sir," returned she.
+"All I fear is, that you will give yourself unnecessary trouble on my
+account."
+
+"The gentleman don't seem to think it's no trouble," interposed the old
+farmer, "'taint never no trouble to good-hearted folks to help a
+fellow-cretur in distress! I wish my wife was here; she knows a great
+sight better than I do, how to take care o' sick folks."
+
+"I am sure," replied the invalid, "if kindness could make people well, I
+should be restored. I feel myself greatly indebted to you, gentlemen."
+
+The slight color called to her cheek by the genuine feeling with which
+she uttered these words, was by no means decreased, as she gracefully
+accepted the offerings of the youth who had first called my attention to
+her indisposition. Coming up to the side of the stage, near her, he
+expressed the hope that she was feeling better, and, saying that he had
+known sea-sickness relieved by lemon-juice, presented a fine, fresh
+lemon, and a superb carnation-pink, and quickly withdrew.
+
+Mr. Benton--that I heard him tell the way-bill-man was his name--lost
+something in not hearing and seeing all I did of the pleasure he
+bestowed by his gifts; but he had his reward, as he re-seated himself
+near us.
+
+"You did not give me an opportunity to thank you for your politeness,
+sir," the lady hastened to say, with a pretty, half-shrinking manner, "I
+am so much obliged to you for the flower! it is so spicy and refreshing,
+and so very beautiful."
+
+"A very indifferent apology for a bouquet," returned the gentleman, "all
+I could find, however. I am very happy if it affords you the slightest
+gratification."
+
+No sooner were we fairly on our way again, than I insisted upon
+supporting the head of my fair patient upon my shoulder, assuring her
+that ten minutes' sleep would complete the cure already begun in her
+case. She blushed, and hesitated a little, upon the plea that she would
+tire me.
+
+"Allow me to be the judge of that," I answered, with some gravity, "and
+permit the freedom of an old man." With this, I placed my arm firmly
+about her slight form, and, without more ado, the languid head dropped
+upon my shoulder.
+
+I very soon had the satisfaction to discover that "tired nature's sweet
+restorer" had come to my assistance, and to discern the return of some
+natural color to the pallid face of the poor sufferer; so gathering her
+shawl more closely about her, and disposing myself more effectually to
+support my light burden, I maintained my vigil until the sudden stopping
+of the vehicle aroused us all.
+
+"The lady gets out here," cried the driver, opening the door, and,
+through the obscurity that had now gathered about us, I dimly discerned
+the outlines of the small dwelling in front of which we were at a stand.
+In another moment, the door was flung hurriedly open, and a gentleman
+hastened forward to receive my fair charge, who, notwithstanding the
+confusion of the moment, found time to acknowledge the insignificant
+attentions she had received from her travelling companions, much more
+warmly than they deserved. Our last glimpse of my interesting patient,
+revealed her folded closely in the arms of a lady, who appeared in the
+lighted passage, and embraced, simultaneously, by several curly-headed
+children, who clung to her dress, and hung upon her neck with manifest
+and noisy delight.
+
+We lumbered along, across a dark, covered bridge, up hill and down, and
+then I reached my destination, for the nonce, the "New York Hotel," as
+the little tavern of the village of B---- was grand-eloquently styled.
+
+"Well, I ain't sorry we're arrove!" exclaimed the elegant young man,
+with whose courtesy of nature my story opened. "George!"--stretching his
+ungainly limbs upon the porch of the house--"won't some tipple be fine?
+Hotel tipple's good enough for me!"
+
+Before I could decide in my own mind whether this last declaration was
+intended as a fling at me, for not giving Miss Peters a match for his
+disgusting tobacco-smoke, from the bar of the stage-house, when I came
+to the rescue in her service, he was scuffling with some ragged boys for
+his trunk, and, as he marched off with his prize, I heard a
+characteristic growl over the prospective tax upon his purse.
+
+The next day was Sunday, and, of course, I was temporarily at a
+stand-still in my journey.
+
+The sexton of the neat little church to which I found my way in the
+morning, put me into a pew next behind that I surmised to be the
+Rector's. A movement among its occupants arrested my attention, and I
+soon became really interested in remarking the healthful beauty of the
+children, who, disposed between the two ladies occupying the extreme
+ends of the seat, seemed to find some difficulty in keeping as quiet as
+decorum required.
+
+"I want to sit by aunt Julia," I overheard, as a bright-eyed little
+fellow began to nestle uneasily in his seat. Upon this, the lady at the
+top of the pew turned her head, and, behold! the face of my young
+stage-coach friend! She was too much engaged, however, in aiding their
+mother, as I supposed her to be, in settling the children, before the
+service should commence, to observe me, and I almost doubted whether the
+happy, smiling face I saw, was identical with the worn and colorless one
+that had reposed so helplessly upon my breast on the previous evening;
+but there was no mistaking the soft, blue eyes, and the wavy hair,
+almost as sunny in hue as that of the little fellow who, at length,
+rested quietly, with his head pillowed on her arm.
+
+Scarcely had we begun with the Psalter, before Miss Peters looked
+quickly round, with a startled glance. A half-smile of recognition
+lighted her sweet face, and then her gaze was as quickly withdrawn.
+
+"Good morning, sir!" exclaimed my new acquaintance, advancing eagerly
+toward me, and offering her hand, as soon as we were in the vestibule of
+the church, at the conclusion of the service; "I did not anticipate this
+pleasure--sister, this is the gentleman to whom I was so much indebted
+yesterday."
+
+"We are all much obliged by your kindness to Miss Peters sir," her
+companion hastened to say, and both bowed most politely to my
+disclaimers of merit for so ordinary an act of humanity as that to which
+they referred, and to my inquiries for the health of my fair patient.
+
+Then followed a cordial invitation to dinner, in which each vied with
+the other in frank hospitality. I attempted to compromise the matter by
+a promise to pay my respects to the ladies in the evening.
+
+"We do not dine until five on Sunday, sir, and that is almost evening!
+Mr. Y---- will walk over and accompany you--you are at the Hotel? It
+will give us great pleasure if you will come, unceremoniously, and
+partake of a simple family dinner. Miss Peters claims you as _a
+friend_."
+
+There was no withstanding this, especially as each phrase of courtesy
+was made doubly expressive, by the most ingenuously hospitable manner.
+
+"Really, ladies," said I, as we reached the gate of the Rectory, "there
+is no resisting such fair tempters! I will be most happy to exchange the
+solitude of my dull room for the joys of your Eden."
+
+And, insisting that I could not permit Mr. Y---- to add to his clerical
+duties the fatigue of calling for me, I renewed my expressions of
+gratification at the restoration of Miss Peters, and took my leave.
+
+I was still engaged in laying off my overcoat and shoes, after sending
+in my card, when Mr. Y---- came out to welcome me; and a most cordial
+welcome it was! Such a warm hand-shaking as he gave me, and such
+emphatic assurances of the pleasure it afforded him to make my
+acquaintance! And when I entered the tasteful little parlor, where I
+found the ladies, I was received with equally frank hospitality. The
+children united with their seniors in making me feel, at once, that I
+was among friends. One little circumstance, I remember, particularly
+touched me. I was scarcely seated, when a little tottering thing, with a
+toy in her hand, came and placed herself between my knees, and raising a
+pair of large, truthful, blue eyes to mine, lisped out, "I does 'ouv 'ou
+dearly!--'ou was 'o dood to aun' Dule!--I dive 'ou my pretty 'ittle
+birdie!" and the little cherub presented me the toy.--It was many a long
+day afterwards, believe me, my dear boys, before the warmth infused into
+the heart of an old campaigner, by the simple adventures of that quiet
+village Sabbath, ceased to glow cheerily in his heart!
+
+After the unpretending, but pleasant, well-appointed dinner was
+concluded, Miss Peters rose, and, with a slight apology to me, was
+leaving the room, when her sister arrested her. Some playful, whispered
+contest seemed to be going on between the two, of which I could not help
+overhearing, in the sweet, silvery tones that had charmed me in the
+stage-coach, "You know, dear, it's such a luxury to me!--you are always
+with them. I will have my own way when I am here!" and away she flew
+like a fawn.
+
+Presently, the pattering of numerous tiny feet, and a commingling of
+joyous voices, and the music of childish laughter, reached my ears, from
+the stairs, and then all was for a moment hushed. Now there was
+distinctly heard from above, the swelling notes of a simple, child's
+hymn, sung by several voices, led by the musical one I had learned to
+distinguish, and then followed a low-murmured "Our Father," as I
+thought.
+
+"Colonel Lunettes," said my hostess, drawing a chair to the sofa corner,
+where I had been snugly ensconced by two of the children, before they
+said good-night, "I will take advantage of sister's absence to express
+my personal obligations to you for your kind care of her yesterday"----
+
+"My dear Madam," I interposed, "I regard my meeting your sister as a
+special Providence, for which I alone should be deeply grateful!"
+
+"You are very polite, sir," answered the lady, "we, too, should be
+grateful. Julia should never travel alone. Mr. Y---- always goes over to
+O---- for her, when we expect her, and intended to do so this time, but
+she insisted upon it in her last letter, that she _knew_ she wouldn't be
+ill, and that he would only distress her by coming, as she was sure he
+was necessarily very busy, preparing for the Bishop's visit, and,
+indeed, she expected to come over with an elder lady teacher in the
+Seminary."
+
+"Then Miss Peters is instructing, Mrs. Y----?"
+
+"She is, sir. We are orphans [a slight quiver in the tones] and Julia
+prefers to make this effort for herself"----
+
+"I am opposed to it," continued Mr. Y----, taking up the narrative, as
+his wife half-paused, "and much prefer that Julia should be with
+us,--she and Mrs. Y---- should not be separated. I am sure there is room
+enough in our hearts for all _our children_, and Julia is one of them!"
+
+The grateful, loving smile, and dewy eyes of the wife, alone expressed
+her sense of pleasure at these words. For myself, I declare to you, I
+did not like to trust myself to reply. I was turning over some new pages
+of the history of human nature! Sometimes I think, as I did then, that
+the soul of man never reaches the full development of its earthly
+capacities, except when continually subjected to the blessed influences
+of _nature_! The city--the beaten thoroughfares of existence--curb, if
+they do not deaden, the better manifestations of the spirit, check
+forever, the most beautiful, individualizing specialities of manner
+even! But I did not mean to moralize.
+
+When Miss Peters rejoined us, her brother-in-law rose (as I also did, of
+course) and seated her between us, on the sofa.
+
+"My dear young lady," said I, taking her hand respectfully in my own,
+"permit me to say, as Dr. Johnson did to Hannah More, upon meeting her
+for the first time, '_I understand that you are engaged in the useful
+and honorable occupation of instructing young ladies_,'--if it were
+possible more thoroughly to forget the brevity of our acquaintance, than
+I have already done, this would have deepened my respect and interest
+for you! Pardon me, if I take too great a liberty. You have, from the
+commencement of our acquaintance, permitted me the privileges of an
+octogenarian"----
+
+"And of a _gentleman of the old school_!" she added, with great
+vivacity, and with the most bewitching smile.
+
+"Before I leave you, my dear Miss Peters, will you allow me to make a
+prophecy?"
+
+"If you are a prophet of _good_, sir"----
+
+"Can you doubt it, when your future fate is the subject?"
+
+"Indeed, sir, I shall have great faith in your auguries!" returned my
+fair neighbor, bestowing the twin of her first smile upon me.
+
+"Well, then, my dear, it is my solemn conviction that you have not yet
+learned all you will one day know of the depth of the impression you
+have left upon the heart of Mr. Benton," I answered, with a gravity that
+I intended should _tell_.
+
+"Mr. Benton! so that's his name?" laughed Mrs. Y----, gaily. "Julia
+pretended not to know his name! I thought it was a conquest! I have not
+yet had an opportunity of looking out the '_language_' of a very large,
+full blown carnation pink!"
+
+"No doubt," interrupted Mr. Y----, "it is precisely the opposite of
+_lemon-juice_!"
+
+Between laughing and blushing, the fair subject of this badinage made
+but a faint show of resistance; but, at this juncture, she managed to
+say, as she turned to me, with a most courteous bow.
+
+"I very much question whether the sentiments expressed by any flower can
+more readily touch the heart, than that _I_ have known conveyed by a
+_teaspoonful of brandy_!"
+
+"Bravo!" cried Mr. Y----.
+
+"Well done, Jule!" echoed my hostess.
+
+And I!--my feelings were too deep for words! I could only lay my hand
+upon my heart, and raise my eyes to the ceiling.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Perhaps there is no better test of the unexceptionableness of a habit,
+than to _suppose it generally adopted, and infer the consequences_. I
+remember some such reflection, in connection with a little circumstance
+that once fell under my observation:--Dining with a young Canadian, at
+his residence in Kingston, C. W., I met, among other persons, an English
+notability, of whom I had frequently heard and read. A slight pause in
+the conversation, made doubly audible a loud yawn proceeding from one
+corner of the dining-room, and, as a general look of surprise was
+visible, a huge Newfoundland dog approached us, stretching his limbs,
+and shaking from his shaggy coat anything but
+
+    "Sabaean odors, from the spicy shores
+    Of Araby the Blest!"
+
+Our host endeavored to say something polite, and the animal, advancing
+toward the celebrity, stationed himself, familiarly, at his master's
+side, somewhat to the annoyance, probably, of the lady next him.
+
+With the utmost _sang froid_, the "privileged character" held his
+finger-bowl to his dog, and remarked, as he eagerly lapped the contents,
+that he had eaten highly-seasoned venison at lunch!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Foreigners," says Madame de Stael, "are a kind of contemporaneous
+posterity." This truth apart, I had sufficient reason to blush for my
+country, on more than one occasion, lately, while travelling at the
+West, in company with a well-bred young European. His own manners were
+so pleasing as to render more striking the peculiarities of others, and
+his habits so refined, as, when united with his large observation and
+intelligence, to make him an exceedingly agreeable person to associate
+with.
+
+One hot day, during a portion of our journey performed by steamer, I
+looked up from my book, and saw him coming toward me.
+
+"I have found a cool place, sir," said he, "and have come to beg you to
+join me--we shall be undisturbed there."
+
+I rose, and was about to take up my seat.
+
+"Allow me, sir! I am the younger," said he; and he insisted upon
+carrying my seat, as well as the one he had previously secured for
+himself. And this was his habitual phrase, when there was any occasion
+to allude to the difference in our years. He never said--"You are older
+than I am," or insinuated that my lameness made me less active than he,
+when he offered his arm, in our numerous promenades. The idea he seemed
+ever studying to express was, that he had pleasure in the society of the
+old soldier, and thought him entitled to respect and precedence on all
+occasions. Aside from the personal gratification and comfort I derived
+from these graceful and unremitting attentions, it was a source of
+perpetual pleasure to me to observe his beautiful courtesy to all with
+whom he came in contact. He had with him a land surveyor, or agent of
+some sort; with this person he, apparently, found little in common, but,
+when he had occasion to converse with him, I always remarked his
+punctilious politeness. And so with his servant; he always _requested_,
+never _ordered_, him to do what he wished. Reserved and laconic, when
+giving him directions, there was yet a certain assuring kindliness in
+his _voice_, that seemed to act like a talisman upon his man, who,
+speaking our language very imperfectly, would have often suffered the
+consequences of embarrassing mistakes, but for the clear, simple,
+intelligible directions and explanations of his master. But to return.
+
+Scarcely were we seated quietly in the retired spot so carefully
+selected by my friend, when a couple of young fellows came swaggering
+along, and stationing themselves near us, began smoking, spitting and
+talking so loudly, as to disturb and annoy us, exceedingly.
+
+"What a pity that this fine air should be so poisoned!" exclaimed my
+companion, in French, glancing at the intruders. "For my part, _pure
+air_ is good enough for me, without perfume!"
+
+"Do you never smoke?" I asked, in the same tongue.
+
+"Certainly! but I do not smoke _always_ and _everywhere_! Neither do I
+think it decent to soil every place with tobacco-juice, as you do in
+this country!"
+
+"It is infamous!" returned I. "Now just look at those fellows! See how
+near they are to that group of ladies, and then look at the condition of
+the deck all around them." As I spoke, the lady nearest the nuisance,
+apparently becoming suddenly aware of her dangerous proximity, hurriedly
+gathered her dress closely about her, and moved as far away as she could
+without separating herself from her party. Despite these indications,
+the shower continued to fall plentifully around, and the smoke to blow
+into the faces of those who were so unfortunate as to be seated in the
+neighborhood.
+
+"Have you not regulations to prevent such annoyances," inquired the
+stranger.
+
+"Every steamer professes to have them, I believe," returned I, "but if
+such vulgar men as these choose to violate them, no one even thinks of
+insisting upon their enforcement--every one submits, and every one is
+annoyed--that is, all decent people are!"
+
+"_Vive la Liberte et l'Egalite!_" exclaimed the European, laughing
+good-humoredly.
+
+As if echoing the mirth of my companion, a merry laugh from the group of
+ladies near us, arrested my attention at this moment. Without appearing
+to remark them, I soon ascertained that they were amusing themselves
+with the ridiculous figure presented by one of the smokers. His
+associate had left him "alone in his glory," and there he sat, fast
+asleep, with his mouth wide open, his hat over one eye, and his feet
+tucked across under the seat of his chair, which supported only on its
+hind legs, was tilted back against the side of the cabin. My description
+can give you but a poor idea of the ludicrousness of the thing. One of
+those laughing girls would have done it better! I overheard more than
+one of their droll comments.
+
+"What if his chair should upset, when he 'catches fish!'" exclaimed a
+pretty little girl, looking roguishly from under her shadowing round
+straw hat.
+
+"There is more danger that that wasp will fly down his throat," replied
+another of the gay bevy. "What a yawning cavern it is! That wasp is
+hovering over the 'crack of doom!'"
+
+"He reminds me rather of Daniel in the lion's den," put in a third.
+
+"Let's move our seats before he wakes up," cried one of the girls, as
+the nondescript made a slight demonstration upon a fly that had invaded
+his repose. "He is protected by the barricade he has surrounded himself
+with--like a upas-tree in the centre of its own vile atmosphere--but
+_we_, unwary travellers, are not equally safe!"
+
+A day or two afterwards, these very young men were just opposite me at
+table, in a hotel in one of our large Western cities.
+
+They were well dressed (with the exception of _colored shirts_) and
+well-looking enough, but, after what I had previously seen of them, I
+was not surprised to observe their habits of eating. One would throw up
+both arms, and clasp his hands over his head, while waiting for a
+re-supply of food; the other stop, now and then, to _lay off_ his bushy
+moustache, so as to make more room for the shovelling process he kept up
+with his knife, for the more rapid disappearance of a large goblet of
+water at one swallowing, or for the introduction of a mammoth ear of
+corn, which he took both hands to hold, while he gobbled up row after
+row, with inconceivable rapidity. Then one would manipulate an enormous
+drum-stick, while he lolled comfortable back in his chair, grievously
+belaboring his voluminous beard, the while, and leaving upon it an
+all-sufficient substitute for maccassar, and the other, simultaneously
+make a loud demonstration with his pocket-handkerchief, or upon his
+head. Now one would stretch out his legs under the table, until he
+essentially invaded my reserved rights, and then the other insert his
+tongue first in one cheek, and then in the other, rolling it vigorously
+round, as a cannoneer would swab out a great gun with his sponge, before
+re-loading! Flushed, heated, steaming, the heaps of sweet-potato skins,
+bones, and bits of food profusely scattered over the soiled cloth, fully
+attested the might of their achievements!
+
+Much of this, as I said, I was prepared for, but I was somewhat
+surprised by what followed.
+
+I had sent for a quail, I think, or some other small game, and was
+preparing to discuss its merits, when one of these young men, reaching
+over, stuck his fork into the bird, and transferred it to his own
+plate!
+
+I saw at a glance that no offense was intended to me--that the seeming
+rudeness was simply the result of vulgarity and ignorance; so I very
+quietly directed the servant to bring me another bird.
+
+Scarcely was the second dish placed before me, when the other youth of
+this delectable pair exactly repeated the action of his companion, and I
+again found myself minus my game.
+
+"_Mon Dieu!_" cried my young foreign friend, "if you can endure that,
+you are a hero, sir!"
+
+An hour or two subsequent to this agreeable incident, I was again seated
+in the cars, and hearing a noise behind me, soon satisfied myself that
+my neighbors at dinner that day were to be my neighbors still, and that
+they were at present busily employed in disputing with the conductor
+respecting a seat next their own, which they wished to monopolize for
+the accommodation of their legs, and which, in consequence of the
+crowded state of the cars, the man insisted upon filling with other
+passengers. Presently there came in a pale, weary-looking woman, with a
+wailing infant in her arms and another young child clinging to her
+garments. She found a seat where she could, and sinking into it,
+disposed of a large basket she had also carried, and commenced trying to
+pacify the baby.
+
+Here was a fit subject for the rude jests and jibes of the young fellows
+I have described. And full use did they make of their vulgar license of
+tongue. The poor mother grew more and more distressed as those unfeeling
+comments reached her ears from time to time, and at each outbreak from
+the infant strove more nervously to pacify it.
+
+I observed that a good-humored looking, large, handsome man, who sat a
+little before this woman, frequently glanced round at the child, and
+sought to divert its attention by various little playful motions. At
+length, when the cars stopped for a few minutes, out he sallied, in all
+haste, and presently returned with his hands full of fruits and cakes.
+Offering a liberal share of these to the woman and her little girl,
+after distributing some to his party, he reserved a bright red apple,
+and said cheerily to the mother: "Let me take your little boy, ma'am, I
+think I can quiet him."
+
+The little urchin set up a loud scream, as he found himself in the
+strong grasp of the stranger; but, a few moments' perseverance effected
+his benevolent purpose. Tossing the boy up, directing his attention to
+the apple, and then carrying him through the empty car a turn or two,
+sufficed to chase away the clouds and showers from what proved to be a
+bright, pretty face, and very soon the amiable gentleman returned to his
+seat, saying very quietly to the woman, as he passed her, "We will keep
+your little child awhile, and take good care of him." The baby was
+healthy-looking, and its clothes, though plain, were entirely clean--so
+the poor thing was by no means a disagreeable plaything for the young
+lady beside whom the gentleman was seated. For some little time they
+amused themselves in this humane manner, and then the young man gently
+snugged the weary creature down upon his broad chest, and there it lay
+asleep, like a flower on a rock, nestled under a shawl, and firmly
+supported by the enfolding arm that seemed unconscious of its light
+burden.
+
+Meantime the pale, tired mother regaled herself with the refreshments so
+bountifully provided for her, watching the movements of the little group
+before her with evident satisfaction; and at length settled herself for
+a nap in the corner of her seat, with the other child asleep in her lap.
+
+The noisy comments of the "fast" young men in the rear of the car became
+less audible and offensive, I noticed, after the stranger came to the
+rescue, and when I passed their seat, afterwards, I could not be
+surprised at their comparative silence, upon beholding the enormous
+quantity of pea-nut shells and fruit skins with which the floor was
+strewn, and noticing the industry with which they were squirting tobacco
+juice over the whole.
+
+By-and-by the cars made another pause. The mother of the little boy
+roused herself and looked hastily round for her treasures. Upon this the
+young lady who occupied the seat with her new friend came to her and
+seemed reassuring her. As soon as the thronging crowd had passed out, I
+heard her saying, as I caught a peep at the sweetest face, bent
+smilingly towards the woman--"I made a nice little bed for him, as soon
+as the next seat was empty, and he is still fast asleep. Does he like
+milk? Mr. Grant will get some when he wakes--it is so unpleasant for a
+lady to get out of the cars." (Here the woman seemed to make some
+explanation, and a shadow of sympathy passed over the smiling face I was
+admiring, as one sees a passing cloud move above a sunny landscape.)
+"Well, we will be glad to be of use to you, as far as we go on," pursued
+the fair girl; "I will find out all about it, and tell you before we
+leave the cars. Now, just rest all you can--let me put this shawl up a
+little higher--there! It is such a relief to get off one's bonnet! I'll
+put it up for you. The little girl had better come with me.--Oh, no, she
+will not, I am sure! What's your name, dear? Mary! that's the prettiest
+name in the world! everybody loves Mary! I have such a pretty book to
+show you"--and having tucked up the object of her gentle care in quite a
+cosy manner, while she was saying this, the good girl gave a pretty,
+encouraging little nod to the woman, and went back, taking the other
+juvenile with her, to her own place. When her companion joined her, she
+looked up in his face with a beaming, triumphant sort of a smile, and,
+receiving a response in the same expressive language, all seemed quite
+understood between them.
+
+"What an angel!" exclaimed the young European, in his favorite tongue,
+as he re-entered the car, and caught part of this little by-scene. "Do
+you know what she said to that poor woman?"
+
+I gave him all the explanation in my power. His fine eyes kindled. "She
+is as good as she is beautiful! Have you remarked the magnificent head
+of the gentleman with her? What a superb profile he has--so classic!
+And his broad chest--there's a model for a bust! I happened to be in the
+studio of your celebrated countryman, Powers, at Florence, with my
+father, who was sitting to him, when the great Thorwaldsen came to visit
+him. Boy, as I was, at that time, I remember his words, as he stood
+before the bust of your Webster: '_I cannot make such busts!_' But was
+it not, sir, because he had no such _models_ as your country affords?"
+These were courteous words; but I do them poor justice in the record; I
+cannot express the voice and manner from which they received their
+charm.
+
+Well, at the risk of tiring you, I hasten to conclude my little sketch.
+I amused myself by quietly watching the thing through, and noticed,
+towards evening, that the amiable strangers went together to the woman
+they had befriended, after the gentleman had been into the hotel, before
+which we were standing, seemingly to make some inquiry for her. Both
+talked for a few minutes, apparently very kindly, to her and to the
+children, and seemed to encourage her by some assurance as they parted.
+As they were turning away, the grateful mother rose, and, snatching the
+hand first of one, and then of the other, burst out, with a "God bless
+you both!" so fervent as to be audible where I sat.
+
+"Don't speak of such a trifle!" returned the youth, in a clear, distinct
+voice, raising his noble form to its full height, and flashing forth the
+light of his falcon eye; "for my part, I am very glad to be able to do a
+little good as I go along in the world!"
+
+In a few moments the handsome stranger was seen carefully placing his
+fair travelling companion in an elegant carriage, where a lady was
+awaiting them, and upon which several trunks were already strapped.
+While cordial greetings were still in progress between the trio, a
+well-dressed servant gave the reins to a superb pair of dark bays, and
+in another instant they were flying along in the direction of a
+stately-looking mansion of which I caught sight in the distance.
+
+"Who the d---- is that fellow?" shouted one of the pair in the rear. "I
+say, porter," stretching his body far out of the car window, and
+beckoning to a man on the steps of the neighboring building, "What's the
+name of those folks in that carriage? dev'lish pretty girl, I swear!"
+
+"Sir-r-r?" answered Paddy, coming to the side of the car, and pulling
+his dirty cap on one side of his head with one hand, while he operated
+upon his carroty hair with the fingers of the other; "what's yer honor's
+plaizure?"
+
+"I say, what's the name of that gentleman who has just gone off in that
+carriage there?"
+
+"Oh! sure that's young Gineral Grant; him that owns the fine house
+beyant--I hear tell he's the new Congressman, sir!"
+
+"_Bien!_" whispered my foreign friend, laughing heartily, "this _is_ a
+great country! you do things upon so large a scale here, that one must
+not wonder when _extremes meet_!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"What, coz, still sitting with your things on, waiting? Haven't you been
+impatient?"
+
+"Oh, no, not at all, I've been reading."
+
+"Well, but, do you know it's twelve o'clock? We were to start at
+half-past ten. What did you think of me for delaying so long?"
+
+"I was afraid some accident had happened; but I could see nothing from
+the window, and I did not like to go out on the portico alone."
+
+"Then you did not think me careless, and were not vexed?"
+
+"Not I, indeed! I was sure you would come if you could, and was only
+anxious about you, as you were to try that new horse. I did not take off
+my bonnet, because I kept expecting you every moment."
+
+"And I kept expecting to come every moment--that devilish animal! I
+tried to send you word, but I could not get sight of a servant--confound
+the fellows! they are always out of the way when one wants them."
+
+"But, Charley, dear, what about the horse? Has he really troubled you? I
+am sorry you bought him."
+
+"Oh, I've conquered him! it wouldn't have taken me so long before I had
+that devilish fever! But, come, cozzy dear, will you go now, or is your
+patience all gone?"
+
+"I would like the drive--but, Charley, had we not better put it off
+until to-morrow morning? You must be tired out, and, perhaps, the horse
+will continue to trouble you."
+
+"No, no--come, come along, if you are willing to go."
+
+Now, Charley and his cousin were together at a little rural
+watering-place, in search of change of air and scene. Charley had been
+recently ill, and, as he chanced to be separated from his family at the
+time, was particularly fortunate in having had the gentle ministrations
+of Belle, as he usually called her, at command, during his
+convalescence.
+
+Belle was an orphan, without brothers, and she clung to Charley with the
+tenacity of a loving heart, deprived of its natural resources.
+Temporarily relieved from her duties as a teacher, her cousin invited
+her to accompany him in this little tour, in pity for the languor that
+was betrayed by her drooping eyes, and lagging step; and his kindly
+nurse, flattering herself that her "occupation" was not yet quite
+"gone," was only too happy to escape from her city prison, under such
+safe and agreeable protection. Yielding and quiet, as she ordinarily
+was, Belle had very strict notions of propriety on some points. So, when
+she and her cousin were making their final arrangements, before
+commencing their journey, she laid upon the table before him, a
+bank-note of considerable amount, with the request that he would
+appropriate it to the payment of her travelling expenses.
+
+"Time enough for that, by-and-by, coz."
+
+"No, if you please, Charley. It is enough that you will be burdened by
+the care of me, without having your purse taxed, too. Just be so good as
+to keep a little account of what you pay for me--remembering porterage,
+carriage-hire, and such matters--ladies always have the most luggage."
+And a little hand playfully smoothed the doubled paper upon the cuff of
+Charley's coat-sleeve, and left it lying there.
+
+Her cousin very well knew that this bank-note comprised a large portion
+of Belle's quarterly salary, though she made no allusion to the matter;
+and, though his own resources were moderate, men so much more easily
+acquire money than women--well, never mind! people differ in their ideas
+of _luxury_.
+
+Charley had some new experiences in this little tour of his and Belle's.
+He had an idea, previously, that "women are always a bother, in
+travelling," and he found himself sorely puzzled to make out, exactly,
+what trouble it was to have his cousin always ready to read to him, when
+they sat together on the deck of a steamer, or while he lay on the sofa
+at a hotel, to claim the comfortable seat at her side in a rail-car, to
+have her keep his cane and book, while he went out to chat with an
+acquaintance, watch when he grew drowsy, and softly gather his shawl
+about his neck, and make a pillow of her own for him, or to see the tear
+that sometimes gathered in her meek eyes, when she acknowledged any
+little courtesy on his part. Then, when, after they were settled in
+their snug quarters, at the watering-place, Belle, half-timidly, sat a
+moment on his knee, and, looking proudly round upon the order she had
+brought out of chaos, among his toilet articles, books, and clothes,
+said--"Oh, what a happy week I have to thank you for, dear cousin
+Charley! You have done so many, many kind things for me, all the way! I
+have had to travel alone almost always since pa's--since"--he was really
+quite at a loss to know what "kind things" she referred to, and said so.
+
+"Why, Charley!" returned she, making a vigorous effort to get over the
+choking feeling that had suddenly assailed her, upon alluding to her
+deceased father, "don't you know--no, you don't know, what a happiness
+it is to a poor, lonely thing, like me, to have some one to take care of
+her luggage, and pay her fare, and all those things? I know, in this
+country, women can travel alone, safely--quite so; but it isn't
+pleasant, for all that, to go into crowds of rough men, without any one.
+The other evening, at New Haven, for instance, it was quite dark, when
+we landed, and those hackmen made such a noise, and crowded so--but I
+felt just as safe, and comfortable, while sitting waiting for you in the
+carriage, all the while you were gone back about our trunks! Oh, you
+can't realize it, Charley, dear!" and the fair speaker shook her head,
+with a mournful earnestness, that expressed almost as much sober
+truthfulness, as appealing femininity.
+
+But about this morning drive.
+
+With the trusting confidence for which her sex have such an infinite
+capacity, Belle yielded at once to the implied wish of her temporary
+protector, and they were soon rolling along, in a light, open carriage,
+through deeply-shadowing woods and across little brooklets which were
+merrily disporting themselves under the trees.
+
+The poor wild-wood bird, so long caged, yet ever longing to be free,
+carolled and mused by turns, or permitted her joyous nature to gush out
+in exclamations of delight.
+
+"What delicious air!" she exclaimed. "Really it exhilarates one, like a
+cordial. Oh, Charley, dear, look at those flowers! May I get out for
+them? Do let me! I won't be gone a minute. Just you sit still, and hold
+your war-steed. Don't be so ceremonious as to alight; I need no
+assistance." And with a bound the happy creature was on her feet, and in
+an instant dancing along, to the music of her own glad voice, over the
+soft grass.
+
+Too considerate to encroach upon his patience unduly, Belle soon
+reseated herself beside Charley, with a lap full of floral treasures.
+
+"Here are enough for bouquets for both our rooms," said she; "how fresh
+and fragrant they are!
+
+    'They have tales of the joyous woods to tell,
+    Of the free blue streams and the glowing sky.'
+
+Bless God for flowers--_and friends_!"
+
+As the artless girl fervently uttered the last words, she turned a pair
+of sweet blue eyes, into which tears of gratitude and pleasure had
+suddenly started, upon the face of her companion. What a painful
+revulsion of feeling was produced by that glance! She scarcely
+recognized the face of her cousin, so completely had gloom and
+discontent usurped the place of his usual hilarious expression. What
+_could_ be the matter? Had she offended him!
+
+Repressing, with quick tact, all manifestations of surprise, though her
+frame thrilled, as if from a heavy blow, Belle was silent for a while,
+and then said in a subdued tone that contrasted strangely with her
+former bird-like glee--"Your horse goes nicely now, Charley, doesn't he?
+You seem to have effectually conquered him; but I am sure you must be
+tired, now, dear cousin, you have been out so long. Had we not better
+return?"
+
+"Why, you have had no ride at all yet, Isabella," returned the young
+man, in a voice that was as startling to his sensitive auditor as his
+altered countenance had been.
+
+"Oh, yes, I have," she quickly answered, endeavoring to speak as
+cheerfully as possible, "I have enjoyed myself so much that I ought to
+be quite contented to go back, and I really think we'd better do so."
+
+Charley's only response was turning his horse's head homeward. For a
+while they drove on in silence, Belle's employment of arranging her
+flowers now wholly mechanical, so engrossing was the tumult in her
+heart.
+
+Just as they came in sight of their hotel, the unruly animal that had
+already occasioned his new owner so much trouble, stopped, and stood
+like a wooden effigy in the middle of the road.
+
+In vain did word and whip appeal to his locomotive powers. At length the
+pent-up wrath that had apparently been gathering fury for the last hour
+burst forth.
+
+"Devilish brute! I never was so shamefully imposed upon! I wish to G----
+I never had set foot in this infernal hole! There's no company here fit
+for a decent fellow to associate with. I shall die of stupidity in a
+week--particularly if I have to drive such a confounded concern as
+this!" Here followed a volley of mingled blows and curses.
+
+The terrified witness of this scene sat tremblingly silent, for a time,
+clinging to the side of the carriage, as if to keep herself quiet.
+Presently she said:
+
+"Perhaps I'd better jump out and run to the house, and send some one out
+to assist you."
+
+"You may get out, if you choose," answered her cousin, gruffly, "but I
+want no assistance about the horse. I'll break every bone in his body,
+but I'll conquer his devilish temper!"
+
+After another pause, Belle said, "Well, Charley, if you please, I will
+walk on. I am sorry you are so annoyed," she added, timidly, carefully
+averting her pale face from him; "but perhaps this is only a phase, and
+he may never do so again."
+
+Her companion broke into a loud, mocking laugh. "What in thunder do you
+know about horses, Isabella?"
+
+"Nothing, Charley--nothing in the world," returned his cousin, quickly,
+in the gentlest voice, "I only"----
+
+"Ye-es!" drawled the angry youth, "I know--some women think their
+'_ready wit_' will enable them to talk upon any subject! Get up, now,
+you rascal, will you?"
+
+Belle knew her weakness too well to trust herself to speak, so, drawing
+her veil closely about her face, and gathering up her shawl and her
+flowers, she stepped from the low carriage with assumed composure, and
+bowing slightly, walked towards the house.
+
+Meeting a servant, at the foot of the stairs, she said, very quietly,
+"Mr. Cunningham will be here in a few minutes with his horse; I hope
+some one will be ready to take him," and passed on. This was all she
+_dared_ to do, in aid of the exasperated youth.
+
+Once in her own room, it seemed but the work of a moment for the
+agitated girl to throw off her shawl and bonnet, and transport some
+light refreshments she had previously prepared, across the passage to
+her cousin's room, to draw up his lounging chair to the table, and with
+a few skillful touches to give that air of comfort to the
+simply-furnished apartment which it had been her daily pleasure to
+impart to it.
+
+This self-imposed task achieved, she flew, like a guilty intruder, to
+her own little asylum, and locking the door, flung herself upon the bed,
+burying her face in the pillows.
+
+But though her quick, convulsive sobs were stifled, they shook her
+slight, sensitive form till it quivered in every nerve, like a delicate
+exotic suddenly exposed to the blasts of a northern winter.
+
+By-and-by a sound roused her from this agony of tears.
+
+"There is the first dinner-gong," said she, to herself, starting up,
+"what shall I do? Perhaps Charley won't like it if I don't go to dinner.
+My head aches dreadfully. I don't mind that so much, but (looking in the
+glass) my face is so flushed. I wouldn't for the world vex Charley, I'm
+sure." With this she began some hasty toilet preparations; but her hands
+trembled so violently as to force her to desist.
+
+Wrapping her shivering form in her shawl, she sat down on a low chair,
+and again gave way to emotions which gradually shaped themselves thus:
+
+"I am so sorry I came with Charley. He was never anything but kind till
+we came here. And then I should have, at least, had nothing but pleasant
+things to remember. But now--I am afraid Charley is ashamed of me; he
+looked at my dress so scrutinizingly this morning, when he came to my
+door. I know I'm not the least fashionable; but Mrs. Tillou is, and she
+complimented me on this _neglige_--it is soiled now, and my pretty
+slippers, too, walking back through the mud! 'Isabella!' How cold and
+strange it sounded! I am so used to 'cozzy dear,' and have learned to
+love it so. My poor heart!" pressing both hands upon her side as if to
+still a severe pang. Then she rose, and creeping slowly along the floor,
+swallowed some water, and seating herself at the table, drew writing
+materials towards her. Steadying her hand with great effort, and every
+moment pressing her handkerchief to her eyes, she achieved the following
+note:
+
+  "Having a little headache to-day, dear Charley, I prefer not to
+  dine, if you will excuse me. I will be quite ready to meet you in
+  the parlor before tea.
+
+  "Ever yours,
+  "BELLE.
+
+  "_Tuesday Morning._"
+
+Designing to accompany this with some of the flowers she now remembered,
+for the first time since her return from her ill-starred morning
+excursion, Belle hastily re-arranged the prettiest of them in a little
+bouquet. As she removed an already withered wild-rose from among its
+companions, a solitary tear fell upon its shrivelled petals. "Perhaps,"
+she murmured mournfully, with a heavy sigh, "I should have made another
+idol,--perhaps I should soon have learned to _love Charley too well_, if
+this chastening had not come upon me--could he have thought so?" As she
+breathed this query, the small head was suddenly thrown back, like that
+of a startled gazelle, and a blush so vivid and burning as to pale the
+previous flush of agitation, flashed over cheek and brow.
+
+Quickly ringing the bell, and carefully concealing herself from
+observation, behind the door, when she half-opened it, the servant who
+answered her summons was requested to hand the note and flowers to Mr.
+Cunningham, if he was in his room, and if not, to place them where he
+would "be sure to see them when he came up."
+
+"When will I ever learn," said Belle, in a tone of bitter self-reproach,
+as she re-locked the door, "not to cling and trust,--not
+
+    ----"to make idols, and to find them clay!"
+
+"I have not seen you looking so well since you came here, Miss
+Cunningham," said a gentleman to Belle, joining her as she was entering
+the public parlor that evening. "Do allow me to felicitate you! What a
+brilliant color!--You were driving this morning, were you not? No doubt
+you are indebted to your cousin for the bright roses in your cheeks!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+And now, my dear young friends, let me only add, in concluding this
+lengthened letter, that, had I early acquired the _habit of writing_,
+you would, doubtless, have less occasion to criticise these
+effusions--attempted, for your benefit, at too late a period of life to
+enable me to render them what I could wish. Use them as _beacons_, since
+they cannot serve as _models_!
+
+  Adieu!
+  HENRY LUNETTES.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XI.
+
+MENTAL AND MORAL EDUCATION.
+
+
+MY DEAR NEPHEWS:
+
+Having touched, in our preceding letters, upon matters relating to
+Physical Training, Manner, and the lighter accomplishments that
+embellish existence, we come now to the _inner life_--to the Education
+of the Mind and Heart, or Soul of Man.
+
+Metaphysicians would, I make no doubt, find ample occasion to cavil at
+the few observations I shall venture to offer you on these important
+subjects, and, painfully conscious of my total want of skill to treat
+them in detail, I will only attempt a few desultory suggestions,
+intended rather to impress you with the importance I attach to
+_self-culture_, than to furnish you with full directions regarding it.
+
+The genius of our National Institutions pre-supposes the truth that
+education is within the power of all, and that all are capable of
+availing themselves of its benefits. Education, in the highest, truest
+sense, does not involve the necessity of an elaborate system of
+scientific training, with an expenditure of time and money entirely
+beyond the command of any but the favored few who make the exception,
+rather than the rule, in relation to the race in general.
+
+Happily for the Progress of Humanity, the "will to do, the soul to
+dare," are never wholly subject to the control of outer circumstance,
+and here, in our free land, they are comparatively untrammeled.
+
+"There are two powers of the human soul," says one of our countrymen,
+distinguished for a knowledge of Intellectual Science, "which make
+self-culture possible, the _self-searching_, and the _self-forming_
+power. We have, first, the faculty of turning the mind on itself; of
+recalling its past, and watching its present operations; of learning its
+various capacities and susceptibilities; what it can do and bear; what
+it can enjoy and suffer; and of thus learning, in general, what our
+nature is, and what it is made for. It is worthy of observation, that we
+are able to discern not only what we already are, but what we may
+become, to see in ourselves germs and promises of a growth to which no
+bounds can be set; to dart beyond what we have actually gained, to the
+idea of perfection at the end of our being."
+
+Assuming that to be the most enlightened system of education which tends
+most effectively to develop all the faculties of our nature, it is
+impossible, practically, to separate moral and religious from
+intellectual discipline. If we possess the _responsibility_ as well as
+the capacity of self-training--that must be a most imperfect system, one
+most unjust to our better selves, which cultivates the intellectual
+powers at the expense of those natural endowments, without which, man
+were fitter companion for fiends than for higher intelligences!
+
+Pursued beyond a certain point, education, established upon this basis,
+may not facilitate the acquisition of wealth; and if this were the
+highest pursuit to which it can be made subservient, effort, beyond that
+point, were useless. But if we regard the acquirement of money chiefly
+important as affording the essential means of gratifying the tastes,
+providing for the necessities, and facilitating the exercise of the
+moral instincts of our being, we return, at once, to our former
+position.
+
+"_He, therefore, who does what he can to unfold all his powers and
+capacities, especially his nobler ones, so as to become a
+well-proportioned, vigorous, excellent, happy being, practises
+self-culture._"
+
+Those of you who have enjoyed the advantages of a regular course of
+intellectual training, will need no suggestion of mine to aid you in
+mental discipline; but possibly a few hints on this point may not be
+wholly useless to others.
+
+The general dissemination of literature, in forms so cheap as to be
+within the reach of all, renders _reading_ a natural resource for
+purposes of amusement as well as instruction. But they who are still so
+young as to make the acquisition of knowledge the proper business of
+life, should never indulge themselves in reading for _mere amusement_.
+Never, therefore, permit yourselves to pass over words or allusions,
+with the meaning of which you are unacquainted, in works you are
+perusing. Go at once to the fountain-head--to a dictionary for
+unintelligible words, to an encyclopedia for general information, to a
+classical authority for mythological and other similar facts, etc., etc.
+You will not read _as fast_, by adopting this plan, but you will soon
+realize that you are, nevertheless, advancing much more rapidly, in the
+truest sense. When you have not works of reference at command, adopt the
+practice of making brief memoranda, as you go along, of such points as
+require elucidation, and avail yourself of the earliest opportunity of
+seeking a solution of your doubts. And do not, I beg of you, think this
+too laborious. The best minds have been trained by such a course. Depend
+upon it, _genius_ is no equivalent for the advantage ultimately derived
+from patient perseverance in such a course. I remember well, that to the
+latest year of his life, my old friend, De Witt Clinton, one of the
+noblest specimens of the race it has been my fortune to know, would
+spring up, like a boy, despite his stiff knee, when any point of doubt
+arose, in conversation, upon literary or scientific subjects, and hasten
+to select a book containing the desired information, from a little
+cabinet adjoining his usual reception-room. His was a genuine _love of
+learning_ for its own sake; and the toil and turmoil of political life
+never extinguished his early passion, nor deprived him of a taste for
+its indulgence.
+
+Moralists have always questioned the wisdom of indulging a taste for
+fictitious literature, even when time has strengthened habit and
+principle into fixedness. The license of the age in which we live,
+renders futile the elaborate discussion of this question of ethics. But,
+while permitting yourselves the occasional perusal of works of poetry
+and fiction, do not so far indulge this taste as to stimulate a
+disrelish for more instructive reading. And, above all, do not permit
+yourselves to acquire an inclination for the unwholesome stimulus of
+licentiousness, in this respect. Every man of the world should know
+something of the belle-lettre literature of his own language, at least,
+and, as a rule, the more the better; but,
+
+    "Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise;"
+
+and the vile translations from profligate foreign literature, which
+have, of late years, united with equally immoral productions in our own,
+to foster a corrupt popular taste, cannot be too carefully avoided by
+all who would escape moral contagion.
+
+You will find the practice of noting fine passages, felicitous modes of
+expression, novel thoughts, etc., as they occur even in lighter literary
+productions, not unworthy of your attention. It will serve,
+collaterally, to assist in the formation of a pure style of conversation
+and composition, a consideration of no small importance for those whose
+future career will demand facility in this regard. Carlyle has somewhere
+remarked that, "our public men are all gone to tongue!" This
+peculiarity of the times, may, to some extent, have grown out of its new
+and peculiar social and political necessities. But, whether that be so,
+or not, since such is the actual state of things, let all new
+competitors for public distinction seek every means of securing ready
+success.
+
+While I would not, without reservation, condemn the perusal of
+fictitious literature, I think you will need no elaborate argument to
+convince you of the superior importance of a thorough familiarity with
+_History_ and general _Science_.
+
+Let me, also, commend to your attention, well-chosen _Biography_, as
+affording peculiarly impressive incentives to individual effort, and,
+often, a considerable amount of collateral and incidental information.
+The Life of Johnson, by Boswell, for instance, which, as far as I know,
+still retains its long-accorded place at the very head of this class of
+composition (some critic has recorded his wonder that the best biography
+in our language should have been written by a _fool_!) contains a world
+of information, respecting the many celebrated contemporaries of that
+great man, the peculiarities of social life in England, at his day, and
+the general characteristics of elegant literature. So, of Lockhart's
+Life of Scott, and other records of literary life. The lives of such men
+as Shelley, and Coleridge, afford an impressive warning to the
+young--teaching, better than a professed homily, how little talents,
+unguided by steadfastness of purpose and principle, avail for usefulness
+and happiness. The examples of Lord Nelson, Howard, Mungo Park, Robert
+Hall, Franklin, and Washington, may well be studied, in detail, for the
+lessons they impress upon all. And so, of many of the brave and the good
+of our race--I but name such as passingly occur to me.
+
+Do not permit newspaper and magazine reading to engross too much of your
+time, lest you gradually fall into a sort of _mental dissipation_, which
+will unfit you for more methodical literary pursuits.
+
+A cultivated taste in Literature and Art, as, indeed, in relation to all
+the embellishments and enjoyments of life, is, properly, one of the
+indications, if not the legitimate result, of thorough mental education.
+But, while you seek, by every means within your control, to enlarge the
+sphere of your perceptions, and to elevate your standard of intellectual
+pleasures, carefully avoid all semblance of conscious superiority, all
+_dilettanti_ pretension, all needless technicalities of artistic
+language. Remember that _modesty_ is always the accompaniment of true
+merit, and that the smattering of knowledge, which the condition of Art
+in our infant Republic alone enables its most devoted disciples to
+acquire, ill justifies display and pretension, in this respect. So, with
+regard to matters of literary criticism--enjoy your own opinions, and
+seek to base them upon the true principles of art; but do not inflict
+crudities and platitudes upon others, under the impression that, because
+of recent acquisition to a tyro in years, and in learning, they are
+likely to strike mature minds with the charm of novelty! Thus, too, with
+scientific lore. If Sir Isaac Newton only gathered "pebbles on the
+shore" of the limitless ocean of knowledge, we may well believe that
+
+    ----"Wisdom is a pearl, with most success
+         Sought in still water."
+
+Let me add, while we are, incidentally, upon this matter of personal
+pretension, that to observing persons such a manner often indicates
+internal distrust of one's just claims to one's social position, while,
+on the contrary, quiet self-possession, ease and simplicity, are equally
+expressive of self-respect and of an entire certainty of the tacit
+admission of one's rights by others. Nothing is more underbred than the
+habit of taking offense, or fancying one's self slighted, on all
+occasions. It betokens either intense egotism, or, as I have said,
+_distrust of your rightful position_--that you are embittered by
+struggling with the world--neither of which suppositions should be
+betrayed by the bearing of a man of the world. Maintain outward
+serenity, let the torrent rage as it may within, and _never allow the
+world to know its power to wound you through your undue sensitiveness_!
+
+Well has the poet asserted that
+
+    "Truth's a discovery made by _travelled minds_."
+
+No one who can secure the advantage of seeing life and manners in every
+varying phase, should fail to add this to the other branches of a polite
+education. Do not imbibe the impression, however, that merely going
+abroad is _travelling_, in the just sense of the term.
+
+    "Oft has it been my lot to mark,
+    A proud, conceited, talking spark,
+    Returning from his finished tour,
+    Grown ten times perter than before.
+    Whatever word you chance to drop,
+    The travelled fool your mouth will stop:--
+    'Sir, if _my_ judgment you'll allow,
+    I've _seen_, and sure _I_ ought to know!'
+    So begs you'll pay a due submission,
+    And acquiesce in his decision."
+
+Send a fool to visit other countries, and he will return--only a
+"_travelled_ fool!" But give a rightly-constituted man opportunities for
+thus enriching and expanding his intellectual powers, and he returns to
+his native land, especially if he be an American, a better citizen, a
+more enlightened, discriminating companion and friend, and a more
+liberal, useful, catholic Christian!
+
+Some knowledge of modern languages, especially of the French, has now
+become an essential part of education. The value of this acquisition,
+even for _home use_, can scarcely be over-estimated, and without a
+familiarity with colloquial French, a man can hardly hope to pass muster
+abroad. I will, however, hazard the general observation that, as a rule,
+it is better to acquire a _thorough knowledge of one language_ (and of
+French, pre-eminently, for practical availability) than a slight
+acquaintance with several. Few persons, comparatively, in our active,
+busy land, have leisure, at any period of life, for familiarizing
+themselves with the literature of more than one language, besides their
+own, and to possess the mere nomenclature of a foreign tongue is but to
+have _the key_ to information. There is, of late, a fashion in this
+matter, which has little else to recommend it than that it _is the
+fashion_; and with persons of sense and intelligence there should be
+some more powerful and satisfactory motive for the devotion of any
+considerable portion of "_Time, nature's stock_."
+
+_Apropos_ of this, nothing is more likely to teach a true estimate of
+the _value_ of _time_ than that perfection of education pronounced by
+the philosopher of old to be the knowledge that we _know nothing_! In
+other words, they only, who in some sort discern, by the light of
+education, the vast field that lies unexplored before them, can have any
+adequate conception of the care and discrimination with which they
+should use that treasure of which alone it is '_a virtue to be
+covetous_.'
+
+Nothing, perhaps, more unmistakably indicates successful self-culture
+than the habitual exhibition of Tact. It may almost be called another
+sense, growing out of the proper training of the several faculties of
+body and mind. And though there is a vast natural difference between
+persons of similar outward circumstances, in this respect, much may be
+effected by attention and practice, in the acquisition of this
+invaluable possession. Like self-possession, tact is one of the
+essential, distinctive characteristics of good-breeding--the legitimate
+expression of natural refinement, quick perceptions and kindly
+sympathies. Cultivate it, then, my young friends, in common with every
+elegant embellishment of the true gentleman! Do not confound it with
+dissimulation or hypocrisy, nor yet regard it as the antagonist of
+truthfulness, self-respect and manly dignity. On the contrary, it is the
+best safeguard of courtesy, as well as of sensibility.
+
+Among useful methods of self-discipline, let me instance the benefit
+resulting from the early adoption of a _code of private morality_, if
+you will permit me to coin a phrase, composed of rules and maxims
+adapted to your own personal needs and peculiarities of position and
+mental constitution. Washington, I remember, adopted this practice, and
+Mr. Sparks, or some one of his biographers, has preserved the record
+from oblivion. It is many years since I came across these rules, and I
+can no longer recall more than the fixed, though general, impression
+that they embodied much practical wisdom and clearly indicated the
+patient spirit of self-improvement for which the author was remarkable.
+I commend them to you as a model. Perhaps the immortal biographer who
+has now given the world a new life of his great namesake, will afford
+you the means of satisfying yourselves personally of the correctness of
+my impressions of them.
+
+In preparing this code for yourselves, I can give you no better guide
+than that afforded by the truth expressively conveyed in the following
+lines:
+
+    "_'Tis wisely great to talk with our past hours,
+    To ask them what report they bore to Heaven,
+    And how they might have borne more welcome news._"
+
+That is a very imperfect conception of education which limits its
+significance to _knowledge gained from books_. A profound acquaintance
+with literary lore is often associated with total ignorance of the
+actual world, of the laws that govern our moral and intellectual being,
+and with an incapacity to discern the Beautiful, the True, the Good.
+They only are _educated_, who have acquired that self-knowledge and
+self-discipline which inspire a _disinterested love of our
+fellow-beings, a reverence for Truth_--in the largest sense of the
+term--_and the power of habitually exalting the higher faculties over
+the animal propensities of our nature_.
+
+It is only, therefore, when man unites moral discipline with
+intellectual culture, that he can be said to be truly educated; and the
+most ambitious student of books should always bear in mind the truth
+that the _free play of the intellect is promoted by the development of
+moral perceptions_, and that mental education, even, does not so much
+consist in loading the memory with facts, as in strengthening the
+capacity for independent action--for judging, comparing, reflecting.
+
+"The connection between moral and intellectual culture is often
+overlooked," says a celebrated ethical writer, "and the former
+sacrificed to the latter. The exaltation of talent, as it is called,
+above virtue and religion, is the curse of the age. Education is now
+chiefly a stimulus to learning, and thus may acquire power without the
+principles which alone make it a good. Talent is worshipped, but, if
+divorced from rectitude, it will prove more of a demon than a god."
+
+Holding the opinion, then, that a fixed religious belief is the
+legitimate result of a thorough cultivation of the mental and moral
+endowments, and that their united and co-equal development constitutes
+education, you will permit me to impress upon your attention the
+importance of securing all the aid afforded by the _best lights_
+vouchsafed to us, in the search after Truth. Conscience is a blind
+guide, until assisted by discriminating teaching, and honest,
+persevering endeavors at self-enlightenment. For myself, my experience,
+in this respect, has afforded me no assistance so reliable and efficient
+as that to be gathered from the _Life of Jesus Christ_, as recorded by
+his various biographers, and collected in the New Testament. I commend
+its study, renewedly, to you, not in search of a substantiation of human
+doctrines, not to determine the accuracy of particular creeds, but to
+possess yourself of simple, intelligible, practicable directions for the
+wise regulation of your daily life, and those ceaseless efforts at
+self-advancement which should be the highest purpose of
+
+    "A being breathing thoughtful breath,
+    A creature between life and death!"
+
+Accustomed to the standard established by Him who said, "Be ye,
+therefore, perfect, even as I am perfect," we will not be deterred from
+the steadfast pursuit of right by the imperfect exhibitions, so
+frequently made, of its efficacy, in the lives of the professed
+followers of the wonderful Nazarine. Conscious of the difficulties, the
+temptations and the discomfitures that we ourselves encounter, we will
+learn, not only to discriminate between the imperfections of the
+disciple and the perfection of the Master, but to exercise that charity
+toward others, of which self-examination teaches us the need, in our own
+case. Thus, the Golden Rule, which so inclusively epitomizes the _moral
+code_ of the Great Teacher, will come to be our guide in determining the
+path of practical duty, and the course of self-culture, most essential
+to the security of present happiness, and as a preparative for that
+eternal state of existence, of which this is but the embryo.
+
+Thus, making God and conscience--which is the voice of God speaking
+within us--the arbiter between our better nature and the impulses
+excited by the grosser faculties, we shall be less tempted by outward
+influences to lower the abstract standard we originally establish, or to
+reconcile ourselves to an imperfect conformity to its requisitions. Far
+less, will we permit ourselves to indulge the delusion that we are not,
+each of us, personally obligated, by our moral responsibilities, _to
+develop all the powers with which we are endowed, to their utmost
+capacity_:--
+
+    "They build too low who build below the skies!"
+
+The most perfect of human beings was also the most humble and
+self-sacrificing, so that they who endeavor to follow his example will
+not only be devoid of self-righteous assumption, but actively devoted
+to the good of their fellow-creatures, and, like Him, pityingly sensible
+of the wants and the woes of humanity.
+
+That reverence for the spiritual nature of man, as a direct emanation
+from Deity, which all should cherish, is, also, to be regarded as a part
+of judicious self-culture. Cultivate an habitual recognition of your
+celestial attributes, and strive to elevate your whole being into
+congenial association with the divinity within you:--this do for the
+benefit of others,
+
+    "Be noble! and the nobleness that lies
+    In other men, sleeping, but never dead,
+    Will rise, in majesty, to meet thine own!"
+
+With so exalted an aim as I have proposed for your adoption, you will be
+slow to tolerate _peccadilloes_, as of little moment, either in a
+metaphysical or ethical point of view. Dread such tolerance, as sapping
+the foundations of principle; learn to detect the insidious poison
+lurking in Burke's celebrated aphorism, and in the infidel philosophy
+that assumes the brightest semblances that genius can invent, the more
+readily to deceive. Establish fixed principles of benevolence, justice,
+truthfulness, religious belief, and adhere steadfastly to them, despite
+the allurements of the world, the temptings of ambition, or weariness of
+self-conflict.
+
+The _Pursuit of Happiness_ is but concentrated phraseology for the
+purposes and endeavors of every human being. May you early learn to
+distinguish between the _false_ and the _true_, between _pleasure_ and
+_happiness_, early know your duty to yourselves, your country, and your
+God!
+
+I will but add to these crude, but heart-engendered, observations, a few
+lines, embodying my own sentiments, and in a form much more impressive
+than I can command:--
+
+    "We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts, not breaths;
+    In feelings, not in figures on a dial.
+    We should count time by heart-throbs. _He most lives
+    Who thinks most, feels the noblest, acts the best._"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I have somewhere met with a little bagatelle, somewhat like this:--
+
+Apollo, the god of love, of music, and of eloquence, weary of the
+changeless brilliancy of Olympus, determined to descend to earth, and to
+secure maintenance and fame, in the guise of a mortal, by _authorship_.
+Accordingly, the incognito divinity established himself in an attic,
+after the usual fashion of the sons of genius, and commenced inditing a
+poem--a long epic poem, plying his pen with the patient industry
+inspired by necessity, the best stimulus of human effort. At length, the
+task of the god completed, he, with great difficulty, procured the means
+of offering it to the world in printed form. The Epic of Apollo, the god
+of Poetry, _fell, pre-doomed, from the press_. No commendatory review
+had been secured, no fashionable publisher endorsed its merits.
+Disgusted with the pursuit of the wealth and honors of earth, Apollo
+returned to Olympus, bequeathing to mortals, this advice:--"_Would you
+secure earthly celebrity and riches, do not attempt intellectual and
+moral culture, but_ INVENT A PILL!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Instances of the successful _pursuit of knowledge under difficulties_
+frequently present themselves in our contemporaneous history, both in
+our own country and in foreign lands. Indeed, the history of the human
+mind goes far toward proving that, not the pampered scions of rank and
+luxury, but the hardy sons of poverty and toil, have been, most
+frequently, the benefactors of the race. Well has the poet said:--
+
+    "The busy world shoves angrily aside
+    The man who stands with arms a-kimbo set,
+    Until occasion tell him what to do;
+    And he who waits to have his task marked out,
+    Shall die, and leave his errand unfulfilled."
+
+The _Learned Blacksmith_, as he is popularly called, acquired thirty, or
+more, different languages, while daily working at his laborious trade.
+He was accustomed to study while taking his meals, and to have an open
+book placed upon the anvil, while he worked. A celebrated physiological
+writer, alluding to the habits of this persevering devotee of philology,
+says, that nothing but his uninterrupted practice of his Vulcan-tasks
+preserved his health under the vast amount of mental labor he imposed
+upon himself.
+
+Another of our distinguished countrymen, now a prominent popular orator,
+is said to have accumulated food for future usefulness, while devoting
+the energies of the outer man to the employment of _a wagoner_, amid the
+grand scenic influences of the majestic Alleghanies. The early life of
+Franklin, of the "Mill-boy of the Slashes," of Webster, and of many
+others whose names have become watchwords among us, are, doubtless,
+familiar to you, as examples in this respect.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Looking upon the busy active world around me,--as I sometimes like to
+do--from behind the screen of my newspaper, seated in the reading-room
+of a hotel, I became the auditor of the following conversation, between
+two young men, who were stationed near a window, watching the passing
+throng of a crowded thoroughfare.
+
+"By George! there's Van K----," exclaimed one, with unusual animation.
+
+"Which one,--where?" eagerly interrogated his companion.
+
+"That's he, this side, with the Byronic nose, and short steps--he's
+great! What a fellow he is for making money, though!"
+
+"Does it by his talents, don't he?--nobody like him, in the Bar of this
+State, for genius,--that's a fact--carries everything through by the
+_force of genius_!"
+
+"Dev'lish clever, no doubt," assented the other, "but he used to study,
+I tell you, like a hero, when he was younger."
+
+"Never heard that of him," answered the other youth, "how the deuce
+could he? He has always been a _man about town_--real fashionable
+fellow--practised always, since he was admitted, and everybody knows no
+one dines out, and goes to parties with more of a rush than Van K----,
+and he always has."
+
+"That may all be, but my mother, who has known him well for years, was
+telling me, the other day, that those who were most charmed with his
+wit, and belle-lettre scholarship, when he first came upon the _tapis_,
+little knew the pains he took to accomplish himself. '_He exhibited the
+result, not the machinery_,' she said, but he _did_ study, and study
+hard, when other young fellows were asleep, or raising h----!"
+
+"As for that," interrupted the other, "he always did his full share of
+all the deviltry going, or I am shrewdly mistaken!"
+
+"Nobody surpasses him at that, any more than at his regular trade,"
+laughed his companion--"oh, but he's rich! Jim Williams was telling me
+(Jim studies with S---- and Van K----) how he put down old S---- the
+other day. It seems S---- had been laid on the shelf with a
+tooth-ache--dev'lish bad--face all swelled up--old fellow real sick, and
+no mistake. Well, one morning, after he'd been gone several days, he
+managed to pull up, and make his appearance at the office. It was
+early--no one there but Van K---- and the boys--Jim and the rest of the
+fellows--tearing away at the books and papers. So old S---- dropped down
+in an arm-chair by the stove, and began a hifalutin description of his
+sorrows and sufferings while he had been sick--quite in the 'pile on the
+agony' style! Well, just as the old boy got fairly warmed up, and was
+going it smoothly, Van K---- bawled out:--'Y-a-s! Mr. S----! will you
+have time, this morning, to look over these papers, in the case of Smith
+against Brown?' Jim said he never saw an old rip so cut down in all his
+life, and, as soon as he went out, there was a general bust up, at his
+expense!"
+
+"How confounded heartless!" exclaimed the elder youth, rising--"by
+Heaven, I hope a man needn't set aside the common sympathies and
+decencies of humanity, to secure success in his profession, or in
+society!" and as he passed me, I caught the flush of manly indignation
+that mantled his beardless cheek, and the lightning-flash of youthful
+genius that enkindled his large blue eyes.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"What are you doing there, sir?" inquired one of the early Presidents of
+our Republic, of his nephew, who was standing before an open
+writing-desk, in his private apartment.
+
+"Only getting some paper and pencils, sir," replied the young man.
+
+"That stationery, sir, belongs to the Federal Government!" returned the
+American patriot, impressively, and sternly, and resumed his previous
+occupation.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Daniel Webster, in conversation with a familiar friend, said:
+
+"From the time that, at my mother's feet, or on my father's knees, I
+first learned to lisp verses from the Sacred Writings, they have been my
+daily study, and vigilant contemplation. If there be anything in my
+style or thoughts worthy to be commended, the credit is due to my kind
+parents, in instilling into my early mind a love for the Scriptures."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"How long will it take you," inquired Napoleon, of the young
+brother-in-law of Junot, "to acquaint yourself with the Coptic language,
+and be prepared to go to Egypt on a secret service?"
+
+"Three months, sire," replied the energetic Frenchman, with scarcely a
+perceptible pause for consideration.
+
+"_Bien!_" returned the great Captain, "begin at once." And he moved on
+in his briefly-interrupted walk, through the _salon_ of the beautiful
+mother of the youth, saying to the Turkish Ambassador, who accompanied
+his stroll:--"There is such a son as one might expect from such a
+mother!"
+
+Three months from that night there left the private cabinet of Napoleon,
+a stripling, of slight form and yet unsunned brow, charged by him who
+_knew men by intuition_, with a task of fearful risk and
+responsibility; and, on the morrow, he was embarked on the blue waters
+of the Mediterranean, speeding toward a land where, from the heights of
+the Pyramids, a thousand years would behold his deeds!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"I swear, I'll cut that woman! I'll never call there again, that I am
+determined!" cried Paul Duncan, impetuously.
+
+"But why, brother? Don't judge too hastily," replied his sister, gently.
+"The whole family have always been so kind to us; for my part, I think
+one seldom meets persons of more polished manners, and"----
+
+"Polished manners!" interrupted the irritable man, rudely, "what do you
+call _polished manners_? I gave up R---- himself, just because he is so
+devilish _un_-polished, long ago. He passed me, once or twice, in
+Wall-street, with his head down, and didn't even bow! after that I let
+him run!"
+
+"He is so engrossed in his philanthropic schemes that, I suppose, he
+really did not see you," interposed his sister, mildly. "But the ladies
+are not responsible for his peccadilloes."
+
+"No, they cannot answer for their own, _to me_," retorted the other,
+with bitterness. "When I went in, last evening, she and her mother were
+both in the room. The old lady rose, civilly enough, but Mrs. R---- kept
+her seat, partly behind a table, even when I went to her and shook
+hands."
+
+"Dear brother," expostulated his companion, "don't you know that Mrs.
+R---- is not well? She has not been out in months."
+
+"What the devil, then, does she make her appearance for, if she can't
+observe the common proprieties of life?"
+
+"I doubt whether you would have seen her, had she not been in the room
+when you entered. Did she remain during the whole time of your call?"
+
+"Certainly; but the old woman slipped out, when some bustle appeared to
+be going on in the hall, and never made her appearance again, at all,
+only sending in a servant, just as I was going away, to say that she
+'hoped to be excused, as her father had just arrived.'"
+
+"He is very aged, and she always attends upon him herself, when he is
+there, even to combing his hair," explained the gentler spirit. "I
+remember admiring her devotion to the old man, who is very peculiar, and
+somewhat disagreeable to persons generally, when I was staying there a
+day or two."
+
+"Well, well; what has that to do with her treatment of me? Couldn't she
+trust him with the rest of the family for a few minutes? There is a
+tribe of women always on hand there, besides a retinue of servants."
+
+"If you will permit me to say so, without offense, Charley," returned
+the lady, with sudden determination of manner, "I fear you did not
+display your usual _tact_ on the occasion, and that you, perhaps, took
+offense at circumstances resulting from the embarrassment of our
+friends, rather than from any intention to be impolite to you. Ladies
+are not always equally well, equally self-possessed, equally in
+company-mood, or company-dress. I don't know what might not befall any
+of us, were we not judged of, by our friends rather by our general
+manner to them, than by any little peculiarities, of which we may be
+ourselves wholly unconscious at the time."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+If you are as much impressed as I was, upon first perusing them, with
+the following sentences from Sir Humphrey Davy's pen, you will require
+no apology from me, for transcribing them here.
+
+"I envy no quality of mind or intellect in others--not of genius, power,
+wit, or fancy; but, if I could choose what would be most delightful,
+and, I believe, most useful, to me, I should prefer _a firm religious
+belief_, to every other blessing, for it makes life a discipline of
+goodness, creates new hope, when earthly hopes vanish, and throws over
+the decay, the destruction, of existence, the most gorgeous of all
+light; awakens life, even in death, and, from decay, calls up beauty and
+divinity; makes an instrument of torture and shame the ladder of ascent
+to Paradise; and, far above all combination of earthly hopes, calls up
+the most delightful visions--palms and amaranths, the gardens of the
+blessed, the security of everlasting joys, where the sensualist and the
+skeptic view only gloom, decay, and annihilation."
+
+With these sublime words, my dear nephews, I bid you, affectionately,
+
+  Adieu!
+  HENRY LUNETTES.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER XII.
+
+CHOICE OF COMPANIONS AND FRIENDS--SELECTION OF A PURSUIT IN
+LIFE--COURTSHIP--MARRIAGE--HOUSEKEEPING--PECUNIARY MATTERS, ETC.
+
+
+MY DEAR NEPHEWS:
+
+I think it was Burke who said that those who desire to improve, should
+always choose, as companions, persons of more knowledge and virtue than
+themselves. He had, however, the happy faculty of eliciting information
+from all with whom he came in contact, even as the bee extracts
+sweetness from the most insignificant and unattractive flower. It is
+said of him, you are aware, that he never took refuge under a projecting
+eave for five minutes, to escape a shower, with another man, without
+either giving or receiving instruction.
+
+His excellent habit in this respect, nevertheless, in no degree
+invalidated the practical wisdom of the remark I have ascribed to this
+celebrated statesman. It is not easy to attach too much importance to
+the _choice of Companions and Friends_, especially during that period of
+life when we are most susceptible to outward influences.
+
+Much enjoyment is derived from association with those whose tastes,
+pursuits, and sentiments are similar to our own; but, in making a
+selection in this respect, it is better to seek the companionship of
+persons whose influence will have the effect to elevate rather than to
+depress our own mental and moral standard. Hence, young persons will be
+most improved by the example of those whose greater maturity of years
+and acquirement give them the advantage of _experience_.
+
+Byron and others of the morbid school to which he belonged, or rather,
+perhaps, which he originated, strove to establish as a truth, the
+libellous charge that humanity is incapable of true, disinterested
+friendship. Happily for the dignity and healthfulness of the youthful
+mind, this affected misanthropy, having had its day, is dying the
+natural death to which error is doomed, and we are again permitted to
+respect our common nature without wholly renouncing our claims to poetic
+sensibility!
+
+It seems, to my poor perceptions, that there needs no better test of the
+capacities of our fellow-creatures, with regard to the nobler
+sentiments, than _our own self-consciousness_! If we know ourselves
+capable of lofty aspirations, of self-sacrifice for others' good, of
+rejoicing in the happiness of our friends, of deep, enduring affection
+for them, by what arrogant right shall we assume ourselves superior to
+the race to which we belong?
+
+As the man who habitually rails at the gentler sex must, necessarily,
+have been peculiarly unfortunate in his _earliest associations_ with
+woman, so he who professes a disbelief in true friendship, may be
+presumed, not only to have chosen his associates unwisely, but to be
+himself ill-constituted and ill-disciplined. If
+
+    ----"VIRTUE is more than a shade or a sound,
+         And man may her voice, in this being, obey,"
+
+then is friendship one of the purest and highest sources of human
+enjoyment!
+
+Eschew, then, the debasing, soul-restraining maxims of Byron,
+Rochefoucauld, and their imitators, and seek in communion with the
+gifted and the good, elevated enjoyment and inspiring incentives to
+noble purposes and manly achievements.
+
+But if the old Spanish proverb, "_Show me your friends and I will tell
+you what you are_," is applicable to the selection of ordinary
+associates, of how much more significance is it in relation to
+_confidants_! To require such a friend, pre-supposes the need of
+_advice_, and only superiority in age and knowledge of the world and of
+the human heart, can qualify any one for the responsibility thus
+assumed. Nothing is more frequently volunteered by the inexperienced
+than advice, while _they who properly appreciate its importance are the
+least likely to give it unasked_.
+
+In connection with the subject of confidences and confidants, ponder
+well the concentrated wisdom contained in this brief sentence: "Be
+careful _of whom you speak, to whom you speak, and how, and when, and
+where_."
+
+If from self-consciousness we draw conclusive proofs of the elevated
+powers of our nature, we also learn, with equal certainty, the need that
+all have of forbearance, lenity, and forgiveness. They who look for
+_perfection_ in human companions, will entail upon themselves a
+life-long solitude of spirit. Some one has prettily said that the fault
+of a friend is like a flaw in a beautiful china vase; the defect is
+remediless; let us overlook it, and dwell only upon what will give us
+pleasure.
+
+It is almost useless to attempt to give you any advice with respect to
+the choice of an occupation in life. I trust, however, that you need no
+argument to convince you that respectability and happiness unitedly
+require, let your pecuniary circumstances be what they may, that you
+should have such an incentive to the due exercise of your powers of body
+and mind.
+
+No consideration is, perhaps, more important than that of _following the
+natural inclination_ in making this decision, provided outward
+circumstances render it possible to do so; and in this country a man may
+almost always overcome obstacles of this kind, by patient perseverance.
+
+The impression, formerly so prevalent, that none but the three learned
+professions, as they are called, require a thorough education, as a
+prelude, is, I must believe, much less generally entertained, than when
+I was a young man. And this is as it should be. There can be no human
+employment that is not facilitated by the aid of a cultivated,
+disciplined intellect, and our young countrymen, who so frequently make
+some temporary and lucrative occupation the stepping-stone to
+advancement, should always bear this in mind. One day, America, like
+Venice of old, will be a land of merchant princes--but none will take
+rank among these self-elevated patricians but they who add the polish,
+the refinement and the wealth of intellect, to the power derived from
+external circumstances.
+
+The _Physical Sciences_ and the _Inventive_ and _Practical Arts_ are
+claiming the attention of our times to a degree never before known; and
+these afford new and sufficient avenues for the exercise of talents
+tending rather to mechanical than to metaphysical exertion.
+
+Remember, always, that a man may give dignity to any honest employment
+to which he shall devote his energies--and better so, than to possess no
+claims to respect except those bestowed by position. As the pursuit of
+wealth as an end, rather than a means, is not the noblest of human
+purposes, so mere occupation and external belongings do not determine
+the real worth of mind or character.
+
+    "I am brother to the _Worker_,
+      And I love his manly look,
+    As I love a thought of beauty,
+      Living, star-like, in a book.
+    I am brother to the humblest,
+      In the world's red-handed strife,--
+    Those who wield the sword of labor,
+      In the battle ranks of life!
+
+           *       *       *       *       *
+
+           *       *       *       *       *
+
+    Never let the worker falter,
+      Nor his cause--for hope is strong;
+    He shall live a monarch glorious
+      In the people's coming throng.
+    There's a sound comes from the future,
+      Like the sound of many lays;
+    FREEDOM _strikes her harp for toilers_,
+      Loud as when the thunder plays!"
+
+While on this subject, permit me to call your attention to a matter
+which, though of minor importance, is not unworthy of consideration. Men
+with but little knowledge of the world are apt to _betray their
+occupation by their manner and conversation--to smell of the shop_, as
+it is often, somewhat coarsely, expressed. Thus, an _artist_ will talk
+habitually of such matters as arrest the peculiar perceptions he has
+quickened into acuteness by culture, and even use the technicalities of
+language which, though familiar to him, may be, and probably are,
+unintelligible to persons of general cultivation only. A _physician_
+will sometimes go about with a heavy, ivory-headed cane, and a grand,
+pompous look, which may, perchance, be _professional_, but it is not the
+less absurd, unless as a means of impressing the vulgar; and he often
+falls into the impression that any sacrifice to the Graces, or any
+regard for the weaknesses of humanity, when in a sick-room, are entirely
+beneath his dignity. _Lawyers_ will use Latin phrases, and legal
+technicalities, in the society of ladies, and the _gentlemen of the
+black cloth_ not only carry the pulpit into the drawing-room, but permit
+themselves to be lionized by devout old women, and sentimental young
+ones, into the best seat in an apartment, or a carriage, the tit-bits at
+table, and a sum-total of mawkish man-worship. As I have said, all this
+savors of _ignorance of the world_, as it does of latent egotism, and
+deficient self-respect. Note, therefore, the probable effects--when
+unrestrained by self-scrutiny--of _moving in a limited sphere of
+action_, and always bear in mind that your individual occupations and
+interests, though of great personal importance, are comparatively
+insignificant in the consideration of others; that you yourself make,
+when viewed from a general stand-point, but _a single unit_ of the great
+mass to whom your interests, purposes, and merits, are matters alike of
+profound indifference and unquestioning ignorance.
+
+"No man," says Jean Paul, _the only one_, as the Germans call him, "can
+live piously or die righteously without a wife;" and one of the most
+celebrated observers of human nature among our own countrymen, has
+bequeathed us the recorded opinion that an early marriage with an
+amiable and virtuous woman is, next to a firm religious faith, the best
+safeguard to the happiness and principles of a young man.
+
+In our prosperous land, where the means of living are diversified almost
+equally with the necessities of life, it is far less hazardous to assume
+the responsibilities arising from early marriage, than in other
+countries. Everything is, in a certain sense, precocious here. Extreme
+youth is no barrier to independence of effort and position--none to
+self-reliance and success. It may be questioned whether the tax thus
+prematurely imposed upon the intellect, as well as the physique, does
+not, in some degree, tend, not only to eventual mediocrity of power,
+but to quickened diminution of the vital energies.
+
+Hence it is, doubtless, well to adopt the _golden mean_ in regard to
+every important step in life. And though I would by no means counsel you
+not to marry until you have accumulated a fortune, I would strenuously
+advise you to possess yourselves of something like a prospective
+certainty of maintenance, and of sound knowledge of human nature and of
+_yourself_, before so far committing your future happiness.
+
+One prominent cause of the multitude of unhappy unions, I am persuaded,
+is the ignorance of their own true characters with which young persons
+are so frequently united. Wholly immature in body and mind, when they
+commence married life, as they develop, under the influence of time and
+circumstance, they awaken to the discovery of an irreconcilable
+difference, not only in taste, sentiment, and opinion, but, what is
+worse, in principle. This is one extreme. On the contrary, the marriage
+of persons of decided character, before habit has rendered it difficult
+to mould themselves into conformity with the peculiarities from which
+none are exempt, is desirable. The sooner those who are to tread the
+path of life side by side, learn the assimilation that shall render the
+way smoother and easier to both, the greater will be their share of
+earthly contentment; and this will be most readily achieved, no doubt,
+while youthful pliancy and adaptability still exist.
+
+Every discriminating, self-informed man, should be the best judge of the
+essential requisites for domestic happiness, in his individual case.
+Such an one will not need to be reminded that all abstract or
+generally-applicable rules must needs be modified, in many instances,
+for personal usefulness. But no one will question the desirableness of
+_health_, _good temper_, and _education_, in the companion of domestic
+life.
+
+By education, I do not mean an acquaintance with all, or even with any
+one, of what are termed _accomplishments_. A woman may be well-informed,
+and self-disciplined, to a degree that will render her an admirable wife
+for a man of sense, without being able to speak any but her vernacular
+tongue, or play upon any instrument, save that _harp of a thousand
+strings--the Human Heart_!
+
+Do not understand me as undervaluing the graceful embellishments of
+social and domestic life, as presented by the lovelier part of creation.
+I wish only to express, in my plain, blunt way, the conviction that the
+most elegant and varied accomplishments are a very poor equivalent for
+_poverty of the head and heart_, in the woman who is to become the
+friend and counsellor to whom you will look for enduring, discriminating
+affection and sympathy, as well when the trials, the cares, and the
+sorrows of mortal existence shall lower heavily over you, as while you
+mutually dance along amid the flowers and the sunshine of youth.
+
+A career of fashionable idleness, irresponsibility, and dissipation, is
+not a desirable prelude to the systematic routine of quiet duties
+essential to the home-happiness of a man of moderate resources and
+retired habits. It may be questioned whether a woman who has been long
+accustomed to the adulation and the excitement of a crowd, will be
+content to find enjoyment, sufficient and enduring, in the simple
+pleasures which alone will be at her command, thus circumstanced.
+
+But, while even the incentives afforded by all the affection of which
+such an ephemeral being is capable, will render conformity to this new
+position difficult of attainment, she who is early accustomed to look
+thoughtfully upon life as beautiful and bright indeed, but as involving
+serious responsibilities and solemn obligations, will bring to a union
+with one of similar perceptions and principles, a sense of right and
+duty, which, if strengthened by a commingling of hearts, will make it no
+discouraging task to her to _begin with her husband where he begins_.
+Such an one will be content to tread on at an even pace beside him,
+through the roughness that may beset his progress, cheerfully
+encountering obstacles, resolute to conquer or endure, as the case may
+be; and ever fully imbued with that patient, hopeful, loving spirit,
+whose motto is "bear one another's burdens."
+
+You will think it more consistent with the caution of an old man, than
+the ardor natural to a young one, that I should advise you to pay proper
+respect to the claims of the relations or guardians of any lady to whom
+you wish to pay your addresses. I will, nevertheless, venture to assert
+that, for many reasons, you will, in after life, have reason to
+congratulate yourself upon pursuing a manly, open, honorable course in
+relation to every feature of this important era in your career.
+
+A friendship with a woman considerably older than himself (if she be
+married, it will be all the better) and especially if he have not older
+sisters, or is separated from them, is of incalculable advantage to a
+young man, when based upon true principles of thought and action,--not
+only in relation to subjects especially pertaining to affairs of the
+heart, but respecting a thousand nameless practical matters, as well as
+of mental culture, taste, sentiment, and conventional proprieties. Such
+a female friend--matured by the advantages of nature and
+circumstances--will secure you present enjoyment of an elevated
+character, together with constant benefit and improvement, and expect
+from you, in return for the great good she renders you, only those
+graceful courtesies and attentions which a man of true good-breeding
+always regards as equally obligatory and agreeable.
+
+Let there be, however, a certain _gravity_ mingled with the
+manifestations of regard you exhibit towards all married women, the
+dominance of _respect_ in your manner towards them, and never permit any
+consideration to induce you to forget the established right of every
+husband to sanction or not, at his pleasure, the most abstractly
+unexceptionable friendship between his wife and another man.
+
+Every man with a nice sense of honor, will indicate, by his prevailing
+bearing and language towards women a _felt_ distinction between the
+intentions of friendship, and those of a suitor or lover. And while he
+observes towards all women, and under all circumstances, the respectful
+courtesy due to them, he will not hesitate to make his purpose
+intelligible, _where he has conceived sufficient esteem to engender
+matrimonial intentions_. Proper self-respect, as well as the
+consideration due to a lady and her friends, demands this.
+
+I repeat, that no degree of devotion to one, excuses incivility to other
+female acquaintances in society; and I will add that the most acceptable
+attentions to a woman of sense and delicacy, are not those that render
+her generally conspicuous, but such as express an ever-present
+remembrance of her comfort and a quick discernment of her real feelings
+and wishes.
+
+So in the matter of presents, and similar expressions of politeness,
+good taste will dictate no lavish expenditure, unwarranted by pecuniary
+resources, and inconsistent with the general surroundings of either
+party, but rather a prevailing harmony that will be really a juster
+tribute to the object of your regard, as well as a more creditable proof
+of your own tact and judgment. All compliments, whether thus expressed,
+or by word of mouth, should be characterized by delicate discrimination
+and punctilious respect. It is said that women judge of character by
+details: certain it is that what may seem trifles to us, often sensibly
+influence their opinions of men. Their perceptions are so keen, their
+sensibilities so acute, in comparison with ours, that we would err
+materially in estimating them by the same gauge we apply to each other,
+and thus the mysteries of the female heart will always remain in a
+degree insoluble, even to the acutest masculine penetration.
+
+But though the nicest shades of sentiment and feeling may escape our
+coarser perceptions, we need no unusual discernment to perceive the
+effects of kindness, gentleness, and forbearance in our domestic
+relations. "I cannot much esteem the man," Rowland Hill remarked, "whose
+wife, children, and servants, and even the cat and dog, are not sensibly
+happier for his presence." Depend upon it, no fabled Genii could confer
+on you a talisman so effective as the power bestowed by the enshrinement
+in your heart of the _Law of Kindness_. In proportion to the delicacy of
+woman's organization is her susceptibility to such influence, and he who
+carelessly outrages the exquisite sensibilities that make the peculiar
+charm of her nature, will too often learn, when the lesson brings with
+it only the bitterness of experience,
+
+                   ----"how light a cause
+    May move dissension between hearts that love."
+
+Shun, then, as you would the introduction into your physical system of
+an insidious but irradicable poison,
+
+    "_The first slight swerving of the heart,
+    That words are powerless to express!_"
+
+But while you seek to illustrate your constant remembrance that you
+have, by the act of marriage, "bound yourself to be good-humored,
+affable, discreet, forgiving, patient, and joyful, with respect to
+frailties and imperfections to the end of life," bear in mind, also,
+that your influence over another imposes duties of various kinds upon
+you, and that you should use that influence with far-sighted wisdom, to
+produce the greatest ultimate good. Thus you will be convinced that it
+is the truest kindness to minister to the _intellect_ and the
+_affections_ of woman, rather than to her vanity, and that in proportion
+as you assist her to exalt her _higher nature_ into dominance, will you
+be rewarded by a spirit-union commensurate to the most exalted
+necessities of your own.
+
+I have known men, in my time, who seemed to have a fixed belief that all
+manifestations of the gentler instincts of humanity are unworthy of the
+dignity of manhood, and who, by habitually repressing all exhibitions of
+natural emotion, had apparently succeeded in steeling their hearts, as
+well against all softening external impressions as to the inspiration of
+the "still, sad music of" their better selves. All elevated emotions,
+whether of an affectionate or religious character, are too sacred for
+general observance: "When thou prayest, enter into thy closet and _shut
+the door_," was the direction of our great Teacher, and so with the
+_religion of the heart_ (if you will permit me the phrase), it would be
+desecrated, were it possible--which from its very nature it is not--to
+parade its outward tokens to indifferent eyes. And yet I return to a
+prior stand-point and insist that there is a middle-ground, even here,
+the _juste milieu_, as the French say.--_Apropos_--the ancient Romans
+used the same word to designate _family affection_ and _piety_.
+
+Intimately connected with the happiness of domestic life is the due
+consideration of _pecuniary affairs_.
+
+But, before we proceed to their discussion, let me, as long a somewhat
+scrutinizing observer of the varying phases of social life, in our own
+country especially, enter my earnest protest against the practice so
+commonly adopted by newly-married persons, of _boarding_, in place of at
+once establishing for themselves the distinctive and ennobling
+prerogatives of HOME. Language and time would alike fail me in an
+endeavor to set forth the manifold evils inevitably growing out of this
+fashionable system. Take the advice of an old man, who has tested
+theories by prolonged experience, and at once establish your _Penates_
+within four walls, and under a roof that will, at times, exclude all who
+are not properly denizens of your household, upon assuming the rights
+and obligations of married life. Do not be deterred from this step by
+the conviction that you cannot shrine your home-deities upon pedestals
+of marble. _Cover their bases with flowers_--God's free gift to all--and
+the plainest support will suffice for them, if it be but _firm_.
+
+With right views of the true aims and enjoyments of life, it will be no
+impossible achievement to establish your household appointments within
+the limits of your income, whatever that may be, and to entertain the
+conviction that the duty of providing for possible, if not probable,
+future contingencies, is imperative with those who have assumed conjugal
+and paternal responsibilities.
+
+Firm adherence to such a system of living will bring with it a thousand
+collateral pleasures and privileges, and secure the only true
+independence. Nothing is more unworthy than the sacrifice of genuine
+hospitality, taste, and refinement, to the requisitions of mere fashion,
+in such arrangements; no thraldom so degrading as that imposed by the
+union of poverty and false pride. What latent egotism, too, in the
+pre-supposed idea that the world at large takes careful cognizance of
+the individualizing specialities of any man, save when he trenches on
+the reserved rights of others.
+
+True self-respect, then, as well as enlarged perceptions of real life,
+will dictate a judicious adjustment of means to desired results, and
+teach the willing adoption of safe moderation in all.
+
+Happily, _comfort_ and _refinement_ may be secured without ruinous
+expenditure, even by the most modest beginners in housekeeping.
+Industry, ingenuity and taste, will lend embellishment to the simplest
+home, and the young, at least, can well afford to dispense with
+enervating luxury and pretentious display.
+
+With due deference to individual taste, I would commend the cultivation
+and gratification of a _love of books and works of art_, in preference
+to the purchase of costly furniture, mirrors, and the like. Fine prints
+(which are preferable to indifferent paintings) are now within
+obtainable reach, by many who permit themselves few indulgences,
+comparatively, and everything having a tendency to foster the aesthetical
+perceptions and enjoyments of children, and to exalt these
+gratifications into habitual supremacy over the grosser pleasures of
+sense, or the exhibitions of vanity, is worthy of regard. And as no
+avoidable demands of the outer life should be permitted to diminish the
+resources of either the heart or the mind, well-selected _books_ will
+take high rank among the belongings of a well-appointed house.
+
+To sum up all, my dear friends, if you aim at rational happiness, let
+there be what is artistically termed _keeping_ in your whole system of
+life. Let your style of dress, your mode of housekeeping, and
+entertaining, your relaxations, amusements, occupations, and resources,
+be harmoniously combined.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Where and how is the most charming of Jewesses?" I asked one morning of
+an old friend, upon whom I had been making an unreasonably early call,
+rising to go.
+
+"Here, sir, and very well," responded a cheerful voice from an adjoining
+room. "Will you not come in a moment?"
+
+The smiling "home-mother" opened wide the half-open door through which
+my queries had been answered, and seconded her daughter's invitation.
+
+There sat my fair young friend, with a small table before her, covered
+with sewing materials, and a huge overcoat upon her lap. She was in a
+simple, neat morning-dress, and plying the needle with great industry.
+She apologized for not rising to receive me, but not for continuing her
+occupation after I seated myself.
+
+"As busily engaged as ever, I see," said I.
+
+"Rather more so than usual, just now. Fred has come home in a very
+dilapidated condition."
+
+"And you are repairing him. But what are you doing with that huge,
+bearish-looking coat? It's as much as you can do to lift it, I should
+judge."
+
+"Oh, I've been putting in new front-facings and sleeve-linings, and
+fixing it up a little," returned she. "But, Colonel, do tell me, have
+you read Macaulay's second volume?"
+
+I replied that I had dipped into it, and added: "But, before we discuss
+Macaulay, I want you to tell me how you learned to be so accomplished a
+tailoress?"
+
+"Rebecca can do anything she wishes," said her mother, in a soft, gentle
+voice, "_the heart is a good teacher_."
+
+"Thank you, mother," rejoined the sweet girl, "Colonel Lunettes will
+make allowance for your natural partiality."
+
+"I would, were it necessary, my dear," I answered, "but I can decide for
+myself in your case."
+
+A bow, a blush, and a pleasant laugh responded, and, rising, she
+deposited the heavy garment she had been repairing, upon the arm of a
+chair, and immediately reseating herself, placed a large basket full of
+woollen stockings, at her side, threaded a stout alderman-like-looking
+darning needle with thick yarn, and began to mend a formidable hole in
+one of the socks. Her brother is an engineer, and I divined at a glance,
+that those strong, warm things were, like the blanket-coat, part of his
+outfit for a campaign in the swamps.
+
+"I am delighted with Macaulay's elaborate sketches of individuals,"
+resumed the busy seamstress, drawing out her long needle and thread, and
+returning it with the speed and accuracy of nicely-adjusted machinery;
+"do you recollect his portraiture of the _Trimmer_?"
+
+"It is very fine," I answered, like everything else Macaulay has
+written. "Nothing, however, has impressed me more, thus far, in his
+history, than his description of the condition of the clergy of the
+Established Church, in the rural districts, during the reign of James,
+and later even."
+
+"I, too, was exceedingly interested in it," replied Rebecca. "And the
+more, that I was reminded of the fate of the _daughters_ of English
+country curates, even at this day; of 'gentle blude,' many times, born
+and educated ladies, they are subjected, frequently, through life, to
+toil and suffering that would excuse their envying the fate of a mere
+kitchen-drudge!"
+
+"They are, usually, governesses for life, and never marry," continued I.
+
+"Never marry--though they are so educated and disciplined, as to be
+peculiarly well-fitted for the fulfillment of woman's dearest and
+highest destiny! Thank God! I was born where such social thraldom, such
+hateful monstrosities, are not!" And the face that turned its glance
+upward, for an instant, with those last fervent words, was overspread
+with a glow bright as the crimson hue of sunset.
+
+But, though my friend Rebecca, was the last woman in the world to
+
+    "Die of a rose, in aromatic pain,"
+
+she was a perfect Sybarite, in some respects, as I will convince you.
+
+Entering her mother's tasteful, pretty drawing-room, a few evenings
+after this conversation, I found the charming "Jewess," as I sometimes
+called her, in allusion to Scott's celebrated heroine, reading by the
+light of an astral lamp. She was elegantly, and, I suppose fashionably,
+dressed, and reclining in a large, luxurious-looking, stuffed chair,
+with her daintily-slippered feet, half buried in a soft crimson cushion.
+In short, she was the very impersonation of the "unbought grace" of one
+of Nature's queens. Had I been younger, by some fifty years, I should
+have been tempted, beyond a doubt, to do oriental homage to so much
+loveliness.
+
+"By the way, Rebecca," said I, after a few minutes' chat with my
+hostess, "I must tell you of a witticism you elicited, this morning,
+from one of your admirers!"
+
+"One of my admirers! Who, pray?"
+
+"Guess! Well, I won't tantalize you!--Howard Parker!"
+
+"You tell me something, Colonel! I am not entitled to enter Mr. Parker
+on my list of friends."
+
+"What, what! that to me, my dear? I have a great mind to punish you, by
+not telling you what he said."
+
+"As you please, Colonel Lunettes!" with a coquettish toss of her long
+ringlets.
+
+"Please, tell _me_, Colonel!" interposed her mother, smilingly; "don't
+mind Rebecca's nonsense--tell me!"
+
+"In a whisper?" I inquired, laughing, and glancing at the "Jewess." "I
+hardly dare to venture that! Well! meeting Howard, who is a great
+favorite of mine, in the street, this morning, he told me he was coming
+here, to call. 'Steel your heart, then,' said I--'Or _she will steal
+it_!' he answered, as quick as thought."
+
+"Quite a _jeu d'esprit_!" exclaimed Rebecca, laughing gaily. "But,
+Colonel, Mr. Parker may be witty, accomplished, and intellectual, but he
+is _not a gentleman_!"
+
+"My daughter, you are severe," said her mother, deprecatingly.
+
+"I don't mean to be, mother; but"--
+
+"From what do you draw such a sweeping inference, my child?" I inquired.
+
+"From _trifles_, dear sir, I admit; but
+
+    ----'trifles make the sum of human things!'
+
+and slight peculiarities often indicate character. For instance, Mr.
+Parker keeps his hat on, when he is talking to ladies, and neglects his
+teeth and hair--you needn't laugh, mamma! Yesterday morning, he joined
+me in the street, and came home with me, or, nearly home; for he
+stopped short, a little way from the house, let me cross a great
+mud-puddle, as well as I could, alone, and open the gate for myself,
+though I had my hands full of things. It's true, he had the grace to
+color a little, when I said, significantly, as he bade me good morning,
+that I was glad I had crossed the Slough of Despond, without accident."
+
+"That showed that a sensible woman could correct his faults," I
+remarked.
+
+"I don't know about that," replied my hostess. "Such things, as Rebecca
+says, _indicate character_; and I would not advise any young lady to
+marry a man, with the expectation of reforming him."
+
+"Not of a cardinal vice, certainly," said I; "but there are"--
+
+Here a servant interrupted me with--"Mr. Parker's compliments, Miss,"
+and offered my fastidious young friend a large parcel, wrapped in a wet,
+soiled newspaper, and tied with dirty red tape.
+
+"Ugh!" exclaimed the Sybarite, recoiling, with unrepressed disgust.
+"What is it, Betty? It can't be for me!"
+
+"It _is_, Miss, an' no mistake--the boy said it got wet in the rain,
+widout, as he was bringing it, an' no umberrellar wid him."
+
+"Will you just take it into the hall, and take off the paper, Biddy? Be
+careful not to let it get dirty and wet, inside, will you?"--With
+studied _nonchalance_.
+
+Presently Biddy laid down a large, handsomely-bound volume, and a note,
+before the young lady.
+
+"It is a copy of Macaulay's 'Lays of Ancient Rome,'" said she, skimming
+over the note. "Mr. Parker was alluding to some passage in one of the
+poems, this morning. He says I will find it marked and begs me to accept
+the book, as a philopoena--oh, here are the lines--I thought them very
+fine as he recited them. Shall I read them, mamma? And you, sir, will
+you hear them?"
+
+    "'Then none was for a party;
+      Then all were for the state;
+    Then the great man helped the poor,
+      And the poor man loved the great;
+    Then lands were fairly portioned;
+      Then spoils were fairly sold:
+    The Romans were like brothers,
+      In the brave days of old.'"
+
+The enthusiasm with which the appreciating reader read this spirited
+passage, did not prevent my observing that she held her handkerchief
+closely pressed upon the back of the exquisite antique binding of the
+volume, in the hope, as I inferred, of drying the stain of wet which I
+noticed, at once attracted her attention when she took up the gift. The
+open note, as it lay upon the table, disclosed a torn, ragged edge, as
+if it had been carelessly severed from a sheet of foolscap.
+
+Whatever her reflections, the young lady had too much instinctive
+delicacy to comment upon these peccadilloes, and so, of course, I could
+institute no defense of my friend. I, therefore, _tacked_, as a sailor
+would say.
+
+"Howard's a noble fellow," said I, "in spite of his little oddities, but
+he has one fault, unfortunately, which I fear will prevent his winning
+much favor with the ladies."
+
+"What is that?" inquired my young auditor, in a tone of seeming
+indifference, but with a heightened color, and an eager glance.
+
+"He is _poor_!"
+
+"Do you mean that he _lives by his wits_, as the phrase is?" asked my
+hostess.
+
+"By no means! simply this:--Parker began the world without a dollar, and
+has had, thus far, to 'paddle his own canoe,' as he expresses it,
+against wind and tide."
+
+"That is quite the best thing I ever knew of him!" exclaimed Rebecca,
+with animation. "It does him great credit, in my estimation! But,
+Colonel, I cannot agree with you in thinking Mr. Parker, _poor_!"
+
+"No?"
+
+"No, indeed! in my regard, _no man in our country is poor, who possesses
+health, education, and an unblemished reputation_!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In the library of the only representative of the British government in
+this country--and he was the lineal representative, as well, of one of
+the oldest, wealthiest and most aristocratic of noble English
+families--whose guest I remember to have been, I found great numbers of
+books, which he had brought with him from home, but they were arranged
+upon simple, unpainted pine shelves, put up for convenience, while the
+owner should remain at Washington. He brought his books, because he
+wanted them for constant use--but, though accustomed to the utmost
+luxuriousness of appointment at home, he did not dream of bringing
+furniture across the Atlantic, or of apologizing for the absence of more
+than was demanded by necessity in his temporary residence.
+
+I remember, too, to have heard it said that one of the recent governors
+of the Empire State had not a single article of mahogany furniture in
+his house at Albany; and yet, nobody complained of any want of
+hospitality or courtesy on his part, while making this discovery. The
+simple fact was, that, being without private fortune, and the salary of
+his office insufficient for such expenditures, _he could not afford
+it_--and no man, I believe, is bound to run in debt, to gratify either
+the expectations or the vanity of his political constituents.
+
+As a contrast to these anecdotes, how does the following incident
+impress you?
+
+Walking down Broadway, in New York, one bright morning with a
+distinguished American statesman, he suddenly came to a full halt before
+a show-window in which glittered, among minor matters, a superb
+_candelabra_, in all the glory of gilding and pendants.
+
+"That's a very handsome affair, Lunettes," said my companion; "let us
+step in here a moment."
+
+We entered accordingly. A salesman came forward.
+
+"What is the price of that candelabra, in the window?" inquired the
+statesman.
+
+"Six hundred dollars," replied the young man.
+
+"Pack it up and send it to M----," replied my friend, turning to go.
+
+"And the bill, sir?"
+
+"You may send the bill to me--to D---- W----, at Washington."
+
+I happened to know that the great man had, only within a day or two,
+been released, by the generosity of several of his personal friends,
+from an embargo upon his movements that would otherwise have prevented
+his eloquent thunder from being heard in the National Senate!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The massive head and stately bearing of John Marshall always rise before
+my mind's eye, when I recall this characteristic illustration of his
+native manliness:
+
+The Chief Justice was in the habit of going to market himself, and
+carrying home his purchases. He might frequently be seen at sunrise,
+with poultry in one hand and vegetables in the other.
+
+On one of these occasions, a young Northerner, who had recently removed
+to Richmond, and thus become a fellow-townsman of the great Virginian,
+was heard loudly complaining that no one could be found to carry home
+his turkey.
+
+The Chief Justice, who was unknown to the new-comer, advancing, inquired
+where the stranger lived and on being informed, said, very
+quietly--"That is on my way; I will take it for you;" and receiving the
+turkey, walked briskly away.
+
+When he reached the house that had been designated, Marshall awaited the
+arrival of the owner, and delivered up his burden.
+
+"What shall I pay you?" inquired the youth.
+
+"Nothing, whatever," replied the biographer of Washington, "it was all
+in my way, and not the slightest trouble--you are welcome;" and he
+pursued his course.
+
+"Who is that polite old man?" asked the young stranger of a by-stander.
+
+He was answered--"_That is John Marshall, Chief Justice of the United
+States._"
+
+I well remember, too, how often I used to join my old friend, Chief
+Justice Spencer, of New York, as he climbed the long hill leading to his
+residence, at Albany, with a load of poultry in his hand. And I dare say
+his great-hearted brother-in-law, De Witt Clinton, often did the same
+thing. Certain I am, that he was the most unostentatious of human
+beings, as simple and natural as a boy, to the end of his days.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I have the vanity to believe that you will not have forgotten the little
+sketch I gave you, in a previous letter, of my interesting young friend
+Julia Peters. Not long after my brief acquaintance with her--that is,
+within a year--I received a newspaper neatly inclosed, and sealed with a
+fanciful device, in prettily-tinted wax, which being interpreted for me
+by a fair adept in such matters, was said to read--"Love, or Cupid,
+carrying a budget to you from me." The following paragraph was carefully
+marked:
+
+  "MARRIED:--In the Church of the Holy Innocents, in this village, on
+  Tuesday, May 12th, by the Rev. B---- Y----, St. John Benton and
+  Julia A. Peters, daughter of the late Fitz-James Peters, Esq., of
+  Princeton, N. J."
+
+Then followed this sentence, in large characters:
+
+  "THE PRINTER AND THE 'CARRIER' ACKNOWLEDGE A BOUNTIFUL RECEIPT OF
+  SUPERB WEDDING-CAKE.- - - _May every blessing attend the happy
+  pair!_"
+
+I, too, had my share of the wedding-cake, accompanied by very tasteful,
+simple cards, as well as a previous invitation to the wedding, written
+jointly by Mr. and Mrs. Y----, and in terms most flatteringly cordial,
+and complimentary. Mrs. Y---- and I had, by this time, exchanged letters
+more than once. I will give you, as a specimen of the agreeable
+epistolary style of my fair friend, the following communication, which
+reached me some two or three months after the marriage of her sister.
+
+  "RECTORY, ----, _Aug. 22d_, ----.
+
+  "DEAR COL. LUNETTES:--
+
+  "I avail myself of my very first leisure to comply with the request
+  contained in your most kind and acceptable letter of last week.
+  Whether your amiable politeness does not overrate my capacity to
+  write a 'true woman's letter--full of little significant details
+  and particularities,' remains to be seen. I will do my best, at
+  least, and 'naught extenuate, nor set down aught in malice.'
+
+  "I hardly know where to begin, in answer to your query about the
+  'possibility of the most economical young people managing to live
+  on so small an income.' The truth is, Julia and I, thanks to a
+  judicious mother, were _practically educated_, which makes all the
+  difference in the world in a woman's capacity to 'make the worse
+  appear the better reason' in matters of domestic management. The
+  house they live in is their own. Mr. Benton, fortunately, possessed
+  the means of fully paying for it (he was entirely frank with Mr.
+  Y---- about all these matters, from the beginning) and Julia was
+  able to furnish it simply, though comfortably. It is a small
+  establishment, to be sure,--a little house and a little garden, but
+  it is _their own_, and that gives it a charm which it would not
+  otherwise possess. They feel that they will have the benefit of
+  such improvements as they may make, and it is wonderful what an
+  effect this consciousness produces. The house was a plain,
+  bald-looking building enough, when Fitz-James bought it. Julia said
+  it would be a bold poetic license to call it _a cottage_!--but he
+  has studied architecture, at intervals, as he has had time, with a
+  view to future advancement, and so he devised, and partly
+  constructed, tasteful little ornaments to surmount the windows, and
+  a very pretty rustic porch in front. The effect was really almost
+  magical when united with the soft, warm color that took the place
+  of the glaring white of which every one is becoming so tired. It is
+  quite picturesque, I assure you, now. As a romantic young lady said
+  of it--'it is like the cottages we read of,--quite a
+  picture-place.' But, pretty and tasteful as it is _outside_, one
+  must become an inmate of Julia's little Eden, to know half its
+  claims to admiration. It is just the neatest, snuggest, cosiest
+  little nest (by the way they call it '_Cosey Cottage_,' as you will
+  please remember when you write, dear sir) you can imagine. There is
+  nothing grand, or even elegant, perhaps, but every part is
+  thoroughly furnished for convenience and comfort, and _everything
+  corresponds_. It is not like some city houses I have been in, where
+  everything was expended in glare and display in the two
+  parlors--'_un_wisely kept for show,' and up-stairs and in the
+  kitchen, the most scanty, comfortless arrangements. Julia's carpets
+  and curtains are quite inexpensive, but the colors are well chosen
+  for harmony of effect. (Julia rather prides herself upon having
+  things _artistic_, as she expresses it, even to the looping up of a
+  curtain.) There is a sort of indescribable _expression_ about the
+  little parlor, which, by the way, they _really use_, daily--her
+  friends say--'How much this is like Julia!' Some of Julia's crayon
+  heads, and a sketch or two of Mr. Benton's are hung in the
+  different rooms, and they have contrived, or rather imitated, (for
+  I believe St. John said it was a French idea) the prettiest little
+  _brackets_, which are disposed about the walls and corners of the
+  parlor. They are only rough things that her husband makes up,
+  covered by Julia, with some dark material, and ornamented with
+  fringe, costing almost nothing, but so pretty in effect for
+  supporting vases of flowers or little figures, or something of that
+  kind. Then there is a tiny place, opening from the parlor,
+  dignified with the name of _library_, where Julia and Benton
+  'draped,' and 'adjusted,' and re-draped, and re-adjusted, to their
+  infinite enjoyment and content, and somewhat to _my amusement_, I
+  will confess to _you_, dear sir. Indeed they _trot in harness_, to
+  borrow one of St. John's phrases,--most thoroughly _matched_, as
+  well as _mated_, and go best together. _They_ think so, at least, I
+  should infer, as they always _are_ together, if possible. Julia
+  helps Benton in the garden--holds the trees and shrubs while he
+  places them, and ties up the creeping-roses, and other things he
+  arranges over the porch, and around the windows, and assists him
+  with the lighter work of manufacturing rustic seats and stands, and
+  baskets for the garden and summer-house; and Benton (who has quite
+  a set of tools) puts up shelves and various contrivances of that
+  sort, and _did_ help to lay the carpets, etc., Julia told me.
+  Indeed, while I was with them, Mr. Benton's daily life constantly
+  reminded me of the beautiful injunction--'Let every man show, by
+  his kind acts and good deeds, how much of Heaven he has in him.'
+
+  "But I only tire you, dear sir, by my poor attempts to portray my
+  sister's simple happiness--_you must see it for yourself_! I make
+  no apology for the minuteness of my details,--if they seem puerile,
+  Colonel Lunettes has himself to thank for my frankness, but I have
+  yet to learn that my valued friend says, or writes, what he does
+  not mean.
+
+  "I have left to the last--because so pleasant a theme,--some
+  reference to Julia's pride and delight in your beautiful
+  bridal-gift to her. She has, no doubt, long since, written to thank
+  you; but I cannot deny myself the gratification of telling you how
+  much she values and enjoys it,--from my own observation. It is
+  really noticeable too, how exactly it suits with all the other
+  table appointments she has--(unless perhaps it is a shade too
+  handsome) only another proof of Colonel Lunettes' fine taste! Mr.
+  Y----, to tease Julia, asked her one evening, when she was
+  indulging in a repetition of her usual eulogy upon the gift and the
+  giver, whether she really meant to say that she _preferred_ a china
+  tea-pot, sugar-bowl, and cream-cup, to silver ones. 'Indeed I do,'
+  said she, 'a silver tea-service for _me_, would be "sicklied o'er
+  with the pale cast of thought!" It would not suit my style at all.'
+  Julia says she shall never be perfectly happy until she makes tea
+  for Colonel Lunettes, from her beautiful china, and Mr. Benton says
+  Colonel Lunettes is the _only man in the world of whom he is
+  jealous_! Upon this, there always follows a gentle (_very_ gentle)
+  twitching of St. John's whiskers, of which, I will add, by way of a
+  description of the _personnel_ of the young man, he has a pair as
+  black and curling as Mr. Y----'s,--indeed, I must concede that
+  Julia's husband is almost as handsome as my own!
+
+  "We are all eagerly anticipating the fulfillment of your promise to
+  visit our beautiful valley, while robed in the gorgeous hues of
+  Autumn. Mr. Y---- and I, are arranging everything with reference to
+  so agreeable an event;--'We will go there, or see that,' we say,
+  'when Colonel Lunettes comes.' Julia, too, is looking forward, with
+  much pleasure, to welcoming so coveted a guest. 'I hope we shall be
+  able to make the Colonel _comfortable_, in our quiet way,' she
+  always says, when speaking of your promised visit; 'you, and Mr.
+  Y----, are so used to have the bishop, and other celebrities, that
+  you don't know anything about being nervous, at such times; but
+  poor me--just beginning, and such a novice!' Upon this, her husband
+  always appeals to me, to say whether I have nicer things to eat,
+  anywhere, 'even at home,' and whether any sensible man could not
+  content himself, even in such a 'little box,' for a few days, at
+  least; especially, when well assured how happy and honored a
+  certain young lady will be, on the occasion. And I must say, for
+  Julia, that her versatile powers are fully illustrated in her
+  housekeeping. Mr. Y---- declares that nobody _but_ his wife can
+  make such bread--a perfect cure for dyspepsia! and, as for the
+  pumpkin-pies!--well, upon the whole, he has decided that we ought
+  to spend _Thanksgiving_ at 'Cosey Cottage.'
+
+  "I have omitted to mention that, at Julia's earnest instance, we
+  left her little namesake--'Colonel Lunettes' pet,' as she delights
+  to call herself--with her, when we were there. I hardly knew how to
+  give her up, though but for a few weeks, even to her aunt. Just
+  before we came away, I said to her, 'I hope Aunt Julia, and Uncle
+  St. John, won't spoil you, my darling; your aunt has promised to
+  scold you, when you are naughty.' 'Oh, but 'ou see, mamma, I don't
+  never mean to _be_ naughty,' she answered, almost stopping my
+  breath with her little chubby arms clinging about my neck.
+
+  "Persuaded, dear sir, that you will have 'supped your full,' even
+  to repletion, of a 'true woman's letter,' I will only add to Mr.
+  Y----'s kindest remembrances and regards, the sincere assurance
+  that I am, as ever,
+
+  "Your attached and grateful
+  "CECILIA D. Y----.
+
+  "COL. HENRY LUNETTES."
+
+And now, my dear nephews, that the blessing of Heaven may rest upon you,
+always, in
+
+    "Life's earnest toil and endeavor,"
+
+is the affectionate and heartfelt prayer and farewell of your
+
+  UNCLE HAL.
+
+
+
+
+THE END.
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's Note
+
+
+I have used "=" to denote use of underlined text.
+
+Inconsistencies have been retained in formatting, spelling,
+hyphenation, punctuation, and grammar, except where indicated
+in the list below:
+
+  - Period added after "sermon" on Page vii
+  - "PATE" changed to "PATE" on Page x
+  - "Aquaintances" changed to "Acquaintances" on Page xiv
+  - Period changed to a comma after "Regard" on Page xv
+  - Period changed to a comma after "Tribute" on Page xv
+  - Dash added after "etc." on Page xvi
+  - Dash added after "Importance" on Page xviii
+  - Period changed to a comma after "Society" on Page xvix
+  - Period changed to a comma after "Bouche" on Page xvix
+  - Period changed to a comma after "Relaxation" on Page xvix
+  - Period changed to a comma after "Remorse" on Page xvix
+  - Period changed to a comma after "Pathos" on Page xvix
+  - Period changed to a comma after "Wit" on Page xvix
+  - Period changed to a comma after "Drawing-room" on Page xvix
+  - Period changed to a comma after "Intellect" on Page xvix
+  - Comma moved from mid-line to immedately after "Discussion"
+    on Page xvix
+  - Period changed to a comma after "Bagatelle" on Page xvix
+  - Period changed to a comma after "Epicureanism" on Page xvix
+  - Period changed to a comma after "Sketch" on Page xvix
+  - "ONATHAN" changed to "JONATHAN"</sc> on Page xxi
+  - "compatable" changed to "compatible" on Page xxiii
+  - "s" changed to "his" on Page 45
+  - "eminated" changed to "emanated" on Page 47
+  - Double quotes changed to single quotes around "Kossuth,"
+    on Page 53
+  - "pate" changed to "pate" on Page 62
+  - "singlarly" changed to "singularly" on Page 66
+  - "self control" changed to "self-control" on Page 78
+  - Period added after "her" on Page 86
+  - Quote added before "I" on Page 87
+  - "Johnathan" changed to "Jonathan" on Page 89
+  - Single rather than double quotes used around "and here," on
+    Page 89
+  - Double quotes changed to single quotes before "I" and after
+    "madame," on Page 90
+  - Double quotes changed to single quotes before "that" and
+    after "you?" on Page 90
+  - Double quote added before "The" on Page 90
+  - Double quote added before "Before" on Page 90
+  - Double quote added before "The" on Page 90
+  - Double quote added before "You" and double quotes before "You"
+    and after "madame?" changed to single quotes on Page 90
+  - Double quote added before "And" and double quotes before "And"
+    and after "com-for-ta-ble?" changed to single quotes on Page 90
+  - Double quote added before "No" on Page 90
+  - Double quote added before "Bien" and after "please!'" and
+    spoken text placed within single quotes on Page 90
+  - Quote removed after "you?" on Page 105
+  - "nur sery" changed to "nursery" on Page 114
+  - Single quote added before "cause" on Page 117
+  - Double quote added after "minister?'" on Page 120
+  - "dont" changed to "don't" on Page 120
+  - "extertaining" changed to "entertaining" on Page 123
+  - "primative" changed to "primitive" on Page 124
+  - Period added after "door" on Page 124
+  - Single dot replaced by colon after "said" on Page 125
+  - Period added after "process" on Page 129
+  - "the the" changed to "the" on Page 139
+  - Quote removed after "morals!" on Page 139
+  - "grooms man" changed to "groomsman" on Page 140
+  - Quotation marks corrected to show single quotes for dialogue
+    and double quotes at the start of paragraphs throughout the
+    anecdote on pages 143 and 144
+  - Double quote removed after "monument,'" on Page 150
+  - "asthetical" changed to "aesthetical" on Page 150
+  - "n" changed to "in" on Page 159
+  - Double quotes in this paragraph changed to single quotes and
+    double quote added at start of paragraph on Page 182
+  - Double quotes in this paragraph changed to single quotes and
+    double quote added at start of paragraph on Page 182
+  - Double quotes in this paragraph changed to single quotes and
+    double quote added at start of paragraph on Page 182
+  - Comma removed after "said" on Page 188
+  - Single quote added after "chair," on Page 188
+  - Double quote added before "Well" on Page 190
+  - Double quote removed before "'All" on Page 199
+  - Double quote changed to a single quote before "I" on Page 200
+  - Double quote changed to a single quote after "nursery-cry" on
+    Page 200
+  - Double quote changed to a single quote before "my" on Page
+  - Double quote changed to a single quote after "to-night;" on
+    Page 200
+  - Period added after "rank" on Page 212
+  - "achievments" changed to "achievements" on Page 214
+  - Period added after "sensuality" on Page 215
+  - "heath" changed to "health" on Page 220
+  - Single quotes changed to double quotes around this quotation
+    on Page 225
+  - Single quote removed before "A" on Page 229
+  - "univeral" changed to "universal" on Page 236
+  - "appearace" changed to "appearance" on Page 238
+  - "Never sink" changed to "Neversink" on Page
+  - Quote added after "daughter," on Page 252
+  - Quote added after "Simpson," on Page 253
+  - "place" changed to "placed" on Page 257
+  - Period added after "Mrs" on Page 262
+  - "ceremoneous" changed to "ceremonious" on Page 263
+  - "st." changed to "St." on Page 264
+  - ""You are now my enemy, and I am" indented for ease of reading
+    on Page 267
+  - Comma removed after "and" on Page 270
+  - "Mis" changed to "Miss" on Page 281
+  - "sol dier" changed to "soldier" on Page 282
+  - Comma removed after "sketching" on Page 287
+  - Double quote removed at end of paragraph on Page 314
+  - Double quote added before "This" on Page 314
+  - Single quote changed to a double quote before "I" on Page 314
+  - Comma removed before "us" on Page 319
+  - "th" changed to "the" on Page 325
+  - "strengthed" changed to "strengthened" on Page 333
+  - "un comfortable" changed to "uncomfortable" on Page 334
+  - Period added after "fatigue" on Page 339
+  - "and-that" changed to "and that" on Page 361
+  - "wan't" changed to "want" on Page 364
+  - Quote removed before "Oh" on Page 367
+  - Single quote changed to double quote after "them!" on Page 368
+  - "twitter ing" changed to "twittering" on Page 368
+  - "to" added after "happened" on Page 372
+  - Period added after "friend" on Page 375
+  - Comma changed to a period after "us" on Page 379
+  - "duced" changed to "deuced" on Page 387
+  - "Kiss" changed to "Miss" on Page 395
+  - Quote removed before "As" on Page 403
+  - "pretiest" changed to "prettiest" on Page 409
+  - "acknowleded" changed to "acknowledged" on Page 414
+  - "a" added after "like" on Page 417
+  - Single quote changed to a double quote at end of paragraph
+    on Page 422
+  - Period added after "Lunettes" on Page 422
+  - "dessultory" changed to "desultory" on Page 423
+  - "intelleclectual" changed to "intellectual" on Page 424
+  - Period changed to comma after "Howard" on Page 428
+  - "Educacation" changed to "Education" on Page 434
+  - "de voted" changed to "devoted" on Page 437
+  - "stationary" changed to "stationery" on Page 442
+  - "inter posed" changed to "interposed" on Page 444
+  - Period added after "months" on Page 445
+  - Period added after "be" on Page 450
+  - "stand point" changed to "stand-point" on Page 460
+  - Period added after "friends" on Page 466
+  - "glancind" changed to "glancing" on Page 467
+  - Period added after "lady" on Page 468
+  - Comma changed to a period after "animation" on Page 470
+  - Extra space added before and after this paragraph on Page 474
+  - "Fitz James" changed to "Fitz-James" on Page 475
+  - Period removed after "migical" on Page 475
+  - Period removed after "Benton's" on Page 476
+  - Double quote added before "Cecilia" on Page 476
+  - Double quote removed after "Y----" on Page 480
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The American Gentleman's Guide to
+Politeness and Fashion, by Henry Lunettes
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