diff options
| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-14 20:09:54 -0700 |
|---|---|---|
| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-14 20:09:54 -0700 |
| commit | 4032a91ec8d54316dc9883f45032c6a3f4ee749a (patch) | |
| tree | 45f77b0142e00bd7efd9d4796a8668c3cac85961 /38261-h | |
Diffstat (limited to '38261-h')
| -rw-r--r-- | 38261-h/38261-h.htm | 1759 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38261-h/images/013.png | bin | 0 -> 102729 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38261-h/images/014.png | bin | 0 -> 70801 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38261-h/images/015.png | bin | 0 -> 38021 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38261-h/images/016.png | bin | 0 -> 1386344 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38261-h/images/017.png | bin | 0 -> 303601 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38261-h/images/019.png | bin | 0 -> 543954 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38261-h/images/020.png | bin | 0 -> 169079 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38261-h/images/021.png | bin | 0 -> 736089 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38261-h/images/022.png | bin | 0 -> 1566084 bytes |
10 files changed, 1759 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/38261-h/38261-h.htm b/38261-h/38261-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8cb9136 --- /dev/null +++ b/38261-h/38261-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1759 @@ + + +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + +<head> + +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" /> <title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Punch, or The London Charivari. Vol. 62. January 13, 1872.</title> + +<style type="text/css"> + +<!-- + +body {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + +p {text-align: justify;} + +p.author {margin-top: -1em; margin-right: 5%; text-align: right;} + +p.indent {text-indent: 1.5em;} blockquote {text-align: justify;} h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 {text-align: center;} pre {font-size: 0.7em;} + +hr {text-align: center; width: 50%;} + +html>body hr {margin-right: 25%; margin-left: 25%; width: 50%;} + +hr.full {width: 100%;} + +html>body hr.full {margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 0%; width: 100%;} + +hr.short {text-align: center; width: 20%;} + +html>body hr.short {margin-right: 40%; margin-left: 40%; width: 20%;} + +.note {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} + +span.pagenum {position: absolute; left: 1%; right: 91%; font-size: 8pt;} + +.smcap {font-variant: small-caps; font-weight: normal;} + +.poem {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left;} .poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;} + +.poem p {margin: 0; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + +.poem p.i2 {margin-left: 1em;} + +.figure {padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; font-size: 0.8em; padding-bottom: 1em; +margin: 0px; padding-top: 1em; text-align: center;} + +.figcenter {padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; font-size: 0.8em; padding-bottom: 1em; +margin: 0px; padding-top: 1em; text-align: center;} + +.figright {padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; font-size: 0.8em; padding-bottom: 1em; +margin: 0px; padding-top: 1em; text-align: center;} + +.figleft {padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; font-size: 0.8em; padding-bottom: 1em; +margin: 0px; padding-top: 1em; text-align: center;} + +.figure img {border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; +border-bottom-style: none;} + +.figcenter img {border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; +border-bottom-style: none;} + +.figright img {border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; +border-bottom-style: none;} + +.figleft img {border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; +border-bottom-style: none;} + +.figure p {margin: 0px; text-indent: 1em;} + +.figcenter p {margin: 0px; text-indent: 1em;} + +.figright p {margin: 0px; text-indent: 1em;} + +.figleft p {margin: 0px; text-indent: 1em;} + +.figure p.in {margin: 0px; text-indent: 8em;} + +.figcenter p.in {margin: 0px; text-indent: 8em;} + +.figright p.in {margin: 0px; text-indent: 8em;} + +.figleft p.in {margin: 0px; text-indent: 8em;} + +.figcenter {margin: auto;} + +.figright {float: right;} + +.figleft {float: left;} + +span.ralign { + position: absolute; + right: 10%; + top: auto; +} + +--> + +</style> + +</head> + +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 62, +Jan 13, 1872, by Various + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 62, Jan 13, 1872 + +Author: Various + +Release Date: December 10, 2011 [EBook #38261] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH *** + + + + +Produced by Punch, or the London Charivari, Malcolm Farmer, +Ernest Schaal, and the Online Distributed Proofreading +Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page013" id="page013"></a>[pg 013]</span></p> + +<h1>PUNCH,<br /> +OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.</h1> + +<h2>Vol. 62.</h2> + +<hr class="full" /> + +<h2>January 13, 1872.</h2> + +<hr class="full" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:50%;"> <a href="images/013.png"><img width="100%" src="images/013.png" alt="" /></a> +<h2>A STRAIGHTFORWARD VIEW.</h2> + +<p><i>High Church Curate.</i> "<span class="smcap">And what do you Think, Mr. Simpson, about a +Clergyman's Turning to the East?</span>"</p> + +<p><i>Literal Churchwarden.</i> "<span class="smcap">Well, Sir, my Opinion is, that if the Clergyman +is Goodlookin', he don't want to Turn his Back to the Congregation!</span>"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>POKES IN PANTOMIMES.</h2> + +<p><i><span class="smcap">Non</span> omnia possumus omnes</i>; we are not all Popes, nor +should we be omnipotent even if we were infallible. The +<i>Daily News</i> is a journal of ability; but there is a certain +inconsistency, the cause of which it declares itself unable +to fathom:—</p> + +<blockquote> +"That all personal allusions to the private lives of individuals +should be eschewed on the stage, we readily admit. Indeed, +we sympathise with <span class="smcap">Dr. Johnson</span>, who, on hearing that <span class="smcap">Foote</span>, +the actor, intended to imitate his mien and gestures, inquired +the price of a good thick stick; but why, in the name of +common sense, when caricatures of <span class="smcap">Mr. Gladstone</span> and <span class="smcap">Mr. +Lowe</span> weekly appear in humorous journals, and when scarcely a +day passes without these gentlemen being attacked in print on +account of one or other of their public acts, every harmless joke +upon their official doings should be expunged from the pantomimes, +surpasses comprehension." +</blockquote> + +<p>Our excellent contemporary forgets that there is in +theatres a place called the Gallery. This place is occupied +by a peculiar description of audience and spectators. +In the theatre, by physical position, they constitute +the higher orders, but in common talk are +contrariwise named. Of old, bloated aristocrats were +wont ironically to style them "the Gods." Enlightened +Statesmen, however, with a just appreciation of their +value as British voters, use to call them the People. Now +the People of the Gallery are not accustomed to read +humorous journals in which caricatures of the People's +<span class="smcap">William</span>, and the People's <span class="smcap">Robert</span>, appear weekly. If +they were, it would be necessary for the humorous +journals to be very careful in caricaturing those popular +Ministers, lest caricatures should endanger their popularity. +The People of the Gallery are our flesh and +blood, but they are as yet uneducated, and apt to take +jokes too seriously. If the <i>Clown</i> in a Pantomime were +to tread upon a match-box, and get blown up sky-high, +or if, assisted by the <i>Pantaloon</i>, he presented a working +man in an arsenal with a sack, these performances, to the +occupants of the boxes indeed, would be harmless jokes, +but the effect produced by them in the electoral way +would probably be mischievous, in a gallery filled with +friends and relations of match-venders and dockyard +labourers.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>The Best Tonic.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> Doctors disapprove of alcohol, but they are as +alive as ever to the cheering effect of "good spirits" on +their patients.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>PROBABLE INTELLIGENCE.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">The Chancellor of the Exchequer</span>, being thoroughly convinced +of the injustice of the Income-tax, is maturing a measure for its +total abolition. To prove that he is perfectly sincere in the task he +undertakes, he has resolved to throw up office if the tax again be +voted.</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Mr. Ayrton</span> is engaged in studying the Fine Arts, with a view to +being able to lecture <span class="smcap">Lord Elcho</span> and others on the subject, and +also to defend the action of the Government in resisting all attempts +to improve the National Gallery.</p> + +<p>In the fear lest His Holiness be forced to quit the Vatican, <span class="smcap">Mr. +Whalley</span>, M.P., has written, very generously, to offer his own +residence as an asylum for the <span class="smcap">Pope</span>, while exiled from his kingdom.</p> + +<p>It is proposed, at the conclusion of the Tichborne trial, to treat +the Judge and Jury to a trip upon the Continent, in order to prevent +them from becoming monomaniacs, through having their minds +occupied so long with one subject.</p> + +<p>It is considered almost certain that <span class="smcap">M. Thiers</span> will seize a very +early opportunity to vacate his seat, as President, in favour either of +the <span class="smcap">Comte de Paris</span> or of <span class="smcap">M. Gambetta</span>.</p> + +<p>The game slaughtered at the <i>battues</i> of eleven noble sportsmen +(all members of the Legislature), has been carefully distributed +among the East-End poor.</p> + +<p>It has been ascertained, by an accurate survey in London and the +provinces, that no fewer than one pantomime has been produced +this season, without containing any humorous allusion to "the +Claimant."</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Mr. Gladstone</span> has received one hundred and twelve letters, from +Peterborough, Hanwell, Colney Hatch, and other places, asking for +a confirmation of the rumour that his great-great-grandmother +embraced the Jewish faith.</p> + +<p>More than a hundred noble members of the Gun Club have withdrawn +their names this season, and have transferred their subscriptions +to the Humane Society.</p> + +<p>Among the measures likely to be introduced by Government +are: (1) a Bill for the Reduction of the Prices charged by Butchers; +(2) a Bill to Compel Londoners to Clean their Streets in Dirty +Weather; and (3) a Bill to Disafforest Primrose Hill and the +Brighton Cliffs and Racecourse.</p> + +<p>The First Lord of the Admiralty has been taking a few lessons in +political navigation, with the view, upon emergency, of taking chief +command of the vessel of the State.</p> + +<p>It is considered highly probable that, following the good example +of some Dramatic Managers, certain Barristers and Doctors in the +very highest practice intend to decorate their waiting-rooms with +little placards of "<span class="smcap">No Fees</span>!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>JUST A HINT.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">Is</span> there not a bit of <span class="smcap">Sydney Smith's</span>, wherein that divine, describing +a Scottish rising against English tyranny, says that <span class="smcap">Sawney</span> +betook himself to the heather, and, having scratched himself with +one hand, and cast up an account with the other, suddenly waxed +furious, and drew his sword? We hope that certain Transatlantic +friends of ours will not bring in so tremendous a bill against us, as +to make it cheaper for us to fight than to pay. For we love them +very much, but we are obliged to be awfully economical in these +Gladstonian days.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>Mathematical Intelligence.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">It</span> would puzzle a Senior Wrangler to find out how to square a +circle. Yet <span class="smcap">Tomkins</span> Junior says that, though he is only twelve +years old, he will back himself on any given morning to get round a +square.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page014" id="page014"></a>[pg 014]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:40%;"> <a href="images/014.png"><img width="100%" src="images/014.png" alt="" /></a> +<h2>——"<span class="smcap">We are such Stuff +As Dreams are made of</span>——"</h2> + +<p class="author"><i>Tempest.</i></p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>EVENINGS FROM HOME.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> next place of Amusement to which <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span> took his two +young pupils was the <span class="smcap">Strand Theatre</span>. Here they saw <i>Arion, or the +Story of a Lyre</i>, and were highly diverted with the two Showmen, +played by <span class="smcap">Messrs. Paulton</span> and <span class="smcap">Terry</span>, whose duet of "<i>Walk Up +and See my Show</i>," they so vehemently applauded as to draw forth +a reproof from their worthy preceptor, who, however, on observing +that these comedians seemed to be possessed of an inexhaustible +stock of fresh verses applicable to the circumstances of the times, +was induced to join <span class="smcap">Tommy</span> and <span class="smcap">Harry</span> in the commendations +which were most liberally bestowed by the audience upon this +portion of the performance. On returning to their lodgings both +<span class="smcap">Tommy</span> and <span class="smcap">Harry</span>, neither of whom had up to this time ever +evinced any musical capacity, attempted to recall the pleasing airs +they had heard at the Strand Theatre, and only ceased from their +praiseworthy endeavours on receiving <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow's</span> promise that +he would take them again to witness the same piece, if <span class="smcap">Tommy</span> +(whose father, being a very wealthy man, had recently bestowed +upon his son a handsome Christmas gratuity) would pay for three +stalls, or at least three places, in the Dress Circle.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p>On the following night they went to the <span class="smcap">Princess's</span>, to see <span class="smcap">Mr. +Watts Phillips's</span> play of <i>On the Jury</i>, followed by a Pantomime +called <i>Little Dicky Dilver</i>.</p> + +<p>At the entrance to the Stalls a civil person relieved them of their +overcoats and hats; and <span class="smcap">Tommy</span>, upon whom his tutor's example, +on the occasion of their visit to Drury Lane, had not been lost, +expressed his gratitude to the honest stranger in the most affectionate +manner.</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Tommy</span> now discovered a further opportunity of making himself +acquainted with the science of Astronomy, which he had already set +himself diligently to learn.</p> + +<p><i>Mr. Barlow.</i> At this theatre you will behold a constellation of +talent.</p> + +<p><i>Tommy.</i> But pray, Sir, what is a "constellation"?</p> + +<p>"Persons," answered <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span>, "have observed certain stars +remarkable either for their brightness or position, or both. These +stars, joined together, are termed 'constellations.' Here you have +three Stars—<span class="smcap">Mr. Webster</span>, <span class="smcap">Mr. Phelps</span>, and <span class="smcap">Miss Furtado</span>."</p> + +<p><i>Tommy.</i> Then these are, as you say, Sir, "remarkable for their +brightness or position."</p> + +<p><i>Mr. Barlow.</i> Yes. And in time, no doubt, I shall be able to make +you acquainted with the names and the appearance of all the Stars +in London.</p> + +<p><i>Tommy.</i> Sir, I am much obliged to you, indeed. But of what use +is it to know the Stars?</p> + +<p><i>Mr. Barlow.</i> There are some, and those very important, uses to +be derived from an acquaintance with the Stars. <span class="smcap">Harry</span>, do you +tell <span class="smcap">Master Merton</span> the story of <i>The Free Admission and the +Grateful Turk</i>.</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Harry</span> was commencing the story when the curtain, being drawn +up, disclosed to them the First Scene of <i>On the Jury</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Mr. Barlow.</i> This would indeed be a very good piece, but for +faulty construction. Yet, for epigrammatic dialogue and dramatic +situations, it has not, at this present moment, its equal in town. +You have been silent, <span class="smcap">Tommy</span>, for some time.</p> + +<p><i>Tommy.</i> Indeed, Sir, I never was more surprised or diverted; +and as for one of your Stars, <span class="smcap">Miss Furtado</span>,—Dear Heart! I protest +I could watch her every evening with the greatest delight.</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span>, observing his pupil's excitement, laughed at <span class="smcap">Tommy</span> +in his usual good-natured manner, and pointed out to him the +example of the poor Greenlanders as worthy of his imitation.</p> + +<p>"What is that, Sir?" inquired <span class="smcap">Tommy</span>.</p> + +<p>"They are brought up to so much moderation and self-command," +said <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span>, "that they never give way to the sudden impulses +of passion so common among Europeans. And see, you have +split your new white kid gloves in applauding this young lady." +Then turning to <span class="smcap">Harry</span>, he asked him if he had not been touched +by the acting of <span class="smcap">Mr. Webster</span> in this piece.</p> + +<p><i>Harry.</i> Indeed, Sir, I pitied him from my heart. <i>Mr. Tibbetts</i> +was a hardly-used gentleman. And I think that no one could have +played more admirably than the gentleman who took the part of +<i>Dexter Sanderson, Esq.</i></p> + +<p><i>Mr. Barlow.</i> You mean <span class="smcap">Mr. Phelps</span>, and you are right. It is +indeed a fine piece of acting. There is so much breadth, and +yet such a thorough finish, in this performance, that it would be +worth the while of many of our younger actors (who flatter themselves +on their consummate art, in consequence of having been +unduly praised for their few achievements) to come here and take +a lesson from <span class="smcap">Mr. Phelps</span>.</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span> added that it was a pity so excellent a piece should +be wellnigh spoiled by the introduction of a vulgar Sensation Scene, +and its construction marred by the awkward contrivance in the last +Act. He further complained that it should be thought necessary to +commence it at seven, and to supplement such an attraction, as this +ought to be, with a Pantomime.</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Tommy</span> and <span class="smcap">Harry</span> were not, however, of his mind upon this +point, and insisted upon stopping to see the <i>Clown</i>. They were +somewhat disappointed with the Pantomime, but professed themselves +prodigiously delighted with <span class="smcap">Mr. Lloyd's</span> scenery.</p> + +<p>On coming out, an obliging official handed to them their overcoats, +wrappers, and hats. <span class="smcap">Tommy's</span> little heart was much affected +by this kindly attention; so, pulling out his purse, he poured +its contents (four bright new farthings and three peppermint +lozenges) into the honest fellow's hand, saying, "Here, my good +man, take this, and Heaven bless you!" It is impossible to express +the surprise of the poor man at the sight. He stared wildly round +him, and would have fallen but for the tender support of his assistant, +who imagined that his companion had lost his senses. But the +man cried out, "O, <span class="smcap">William</span>, I am not mad! See what Providence +has sent us by the hands of this little angel!" Saying this, he held +up the money and the lozenges. But <span class="smcap">Tommy</span> went up to them both, +and said, "My good friends, you are very welcome to this: I freely +give it to you. Spend the money soberly; and, for the lozenges, +give them to your children, if you have any, or suck them yourselves +in your leisure moments." Before the entranced officials, who were +totally unaccustomed to receive such benefactions, could dry their +tears, <span class="smcap">Tommy</span> was out of sight, having followed <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span> and +<span class="smcap">Harry</span> to the door.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span> now took <span class="smcap">Master Tommy</span> and <span class="smcap">Harry</span> to <span class="smcap">Evans's</span> +Supper Rooms, to enter which place they had to pay a shilling +apiece. This troubled their worthy preceptor, who, indeed, was +painfully struck, as he informed his young friends, by the altered +aspect of the interior. <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span> explained to them that in <i>his</i> +time the room was snug, cosy, and comfortable, and only one quarter +of its present size. That <i>then</i> there were neither carpet nor tavern-like +mirrors. "True," said <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span>, "that all that was +objectionable in the entertainment of former days has long ere this +disappeared, and now I see there is a gallery where the "opposite +sex," in very private boxes, can, like fairy sprites, sit invisible, and +listen to mortal melody. In the old time," continued <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span>, +"you were welcomed by the Proprietor as a personal friend, +who would call <span class="smcap">John</span> to get the hot chop or kidneys for you at +<span class="pagenum"><a name="page015" id="page015"></a>[pg 015]</span> +once, and give the order himself, returning to see if you +were comfortably served. Then the waiters flew, and +to command was to have. Now, <span class="smcap">Tommy</span>, observe I +have spoken to these waiters, and have ordered my +supper more than twenty minutes since, and it has +not appeared. See <span class="smcap">Mr. Green</span> himself" (the veteran +here came up, and having affectionately greeted his dear +boys, <span class="smcap">Masters Sandford</span> and <span class="smcap">Merton</span>, wandered away +to another part of the room), "he is no longer Proprietor; +he is only nominally in authority, his occupation +is, in effect, gone; he is the only connecting link +between the past and present <span class="smcap">Evans's</span>, 'retained,' to +quote his own immortal line about the lamented <span class="smcap">Von +Joel</span>, 'on the establishment, in consequence of his long +services.'"</p> + +<p>So affected were both <span class="smcap">Harry</span> and <span class="smcap">Tommy</span> by <span class="smcap">Mr. +Barlow's</span> discourse that they begged to be allowed to +quit a place which only aroused so much sadness in the +breast of their beloved preceptor. As they were leaving, +<span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span> paid a shilling for some refreshment which +he had taken, whereupon the waiter begged to be +remembered, which <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span>, being blessed with a +good memory, willingly consented to do. But the +waiter candidly explaining that he was expecting a trifle +for his trouble, <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span> could not refrain from +expostulating with the honest fellow on the absurdity +of such a system, and informed the boys, that, in the +old and palmy days of <span class="smcap">Evans's</span> there was no charge +for admission, and the attention bestowed on visitors +being admirable, it was a pleasure to bestow some +gratuity upon the attendants, which was always +received by the money collector at the door with a +grateful "I thank you, Sir. Good night, Sir."</p> + +<p>While <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span> was thus addressing <span class="smcap">Masters +Harry</span> and <span class="smcap">Tommy</span>, the waiter was summoned to a distant +quarter of the room, whereupon they ascended the +steps, and found themselves in the Piazza of Covent +Garden.</p> + +<p>"Farewell, <span class="smcap">Evans's</span>!" said <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span>, sadly; "I +know not that I shall darken thy doors again!"</p> + +<p>"What you were saying, Sir," observed <span class="smcap">Harry</span> on +their reaching their lodgings, "reminds me of the story +of <i>Tigranes and the Amphibious Black</i>."</p> + +<p><i>Mr. Barlow.</i> I do not think <span class="smcap">Tommy Merton</span> has +heard it.</p> + +<p><i>Harry.</i> Well, you must know, <span class="smcap">Master Tommy</span>——</p> + +<p>But <span class="smcap">Tommy</span> had gone straight up-stairs to bed.</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span>, who knew the story by heart, having, +indeed, himself told it to <span class="smcap">Master Harry</span>, then took +his candle, and wishing <span class="smcap">Harry</span> a very good night, +retired.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>VIĈ ANTIQUĈ.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">It</span> is pleasant to make honourable mention, in <i>Mr. +Punch's</i> columns, of anything bearing the name of +<span class="smcap">Jerrold</span>. The latest appearance of this name is in +conjunction with that of <span class="smcap">Gustave Doré</span>—a household +word. Two artists have been making a pilgrimage +through London together, and each, with his own implement, +is recording his experiences, the result to be a +beautiful book, whereof an inviting specimen has +appeared. <i>Mr. Punch</i> is glad to welcome a new +memorial of Augusta Trinobantum, especially as that +city is being so rapidly "improved," especially in the +parts most likely to attract the eye of <span class="smcap">M. Doré</span>, that it +will soon be all as colourless as a Boulevard or Regent +Street. If <span class="smcap">Mr. Jerrold</span> will show <span class="smcap">M. Doré</span> anything +that shall call out the power lavished on the houses in +the pictures to a certain book of <i>Contes</i>, the two will +do the good deed of apprising posterity that London was +the production of architects, and not of excessively +respectable contractors for building purposes.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>Royal Clemency.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">We</span> have heard, with gratification, that the remainder +of the sentence on <span class="smcap">John Poyntz Spencer</span>, who was sent +to Ireland in 1868, and who has since been immured in +Dublin Castle, is likely to be remitted. His admirable +conduct during his exile has endeared him to all, and +his return will be warmly welcomed. It will be felt that +he has amply expiated the political offence of being a +Whig Head-Centre, and we trust that an honourable +future is in store for him.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>SANITARY SERMONS.</h2> + +<div class="figleft" style="width:30%;"> <a href="images/015.png"><img width="100%" src="images/015.png" alt="M" /></a></div> + +<p><span class="smcap">ost</span> of our contemporaries +have lately improved an +alarming occasion with +many monitory observations +on typhoid fever. +The whole of these, however, +reducible into a few +words, may be pretty +well summed up in the +caution,—Look to your +drains. In addition, <i>Dr. +Punch</i> begs to offer a +piece of advice <i>gratis</i> to +all persons in possession +of his universal remedy, +price 3<i>d.</i>, 4<i>d.</i> stamped, +to counterfeit which is +piracy. Look to yourselves.</p> + +<p>Pestiferous as is the +atmosphere of sewers, not +only do rats live, but +labourers work in it, the +former wholly, the latter +for most part with impunity. +The rodents get +acclimatised, unless it be +that instinct impels them +to take some sort of vegetable +or other preventive +of zymotic and mephitic +diseases. As for the +working-men, they smoke +pipes of tobacco almost +to a man, and as generally +prescribe for and administer +to themselves +alcohol in some one or other of its forms, commonly that of something short, +which, if asked to give it a name, we will call gin, or euphemistically, Old Tom, +not to say, dyslogistically, blue ruin, for the useless sake of pleasing the United +Kingdom Alliance; those conspirators against the potatory liberty of the subject +who hate us youth, and specially abhor <i>Punch</i>. The gin-drinking, +prevalent among the population of the slums, comes of a sense which is +medicinal, and the medicine would, in effect, be altogether salutary but for the +tendency of people to take it in over-doses.</p> + +<p>Everybody knows how continually medical men are exposed to all manner of +contagion, and how very seldom they catch any disease. They, it is true, are +not in the habit of asking particularly for gin on coming out of a sick-room: +but they are accustomed to take, or do, whatsoever may be requisite to maintain +the bodily conditions which resist or expel poisonous or morbid effluvia.</p> + +<p>Look to your drains, by all means; but look also to the natural gates and +alleys of the body—keep them clear, and permeable, and pervious. By what +means? Therein the patient may minister to himself if he can, or else should +inquire of his doctor, who will let him know. There is, however, a popular +panacea which he will find invariably efficacious. The prophylactic as well as +therapeutic virtues of <i>Punch</i>, of <i>Punch's Pocket-Book</i>, and <i>Punch's Almanack</i>, +are so universally known and so deservedly celebrated that any recommendation +beyond the merest reference to those powerful tonic, stimulant, and antiseptic +publications would be superfluous puffery. How much caution soever the +Faculty may recommend in prescribing alcohol in whatsoever form, they are of +unanimous opinion that nobody need hesitate to give or take any quantity of +<i>Punch</i>.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>FAIR PLAY FOR LOOSHAI.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">There</span> is one thing worth note in the manners (or want of manners) of our +present enemies the Looshai folk. The <i>Standard</i> says that they delight "in +transposition of the component parts of the names of places and chiefs. Thus, +<span class="smcap">Sook-pi-Lal</span> is often converted into <span class="smcap">Lal-pi-Sook</span>. A similar practice frequently +prevails in British India; the lower class of natives constantly substituting +Nucklow for Lucknow." Call these people savages! Why, they are as +witty as most members of the Stock Exchange. What higher flight can the +latter generally attain than the feat of calling "<span class="smcap">Robinson and Thomson</span>" +"<span class="smcap">Tobinson and Romson</span>," or saying that <span class="smcap">Jones</span> lives at "Wampton Hick?" +We hope that these Orientals will be treated with as much consideration as may +be. They are none so uncivilised, as times go. Perhaps they like burlesques.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>Parallels for the People.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">A BRIGHT</span> idea is that of establishing "Public-houses without Drink." +Would it not be improved upon by the institution of Restaurants without +Meat?</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page016" id="page016"></a>[pg 016]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:100%;"> <img width="100%" src="images/016.png" alt="" /> + +<h2>VIVIFYING TREATMENT OF A PARTNER.</h2> + +<p>(<i>A Tragedy of the last Harrogate Season.</i>)</p> + +<p><i>Young Lady</i> (<i>to Partner, instantly on their taking their Places</i>). "<span class="smcap">Now——I've been to Fountains Abbey, and to Bolton, and +I've seen the Brimham Rocks, and the Dropping Well, and the View from the Observatory, and we had a Morning in +York Minster, and we have been here a Fortnight, and we are going to Stay another, and Papa takes the Chalybeate +Waters, and I am very Glad the Cavalry are coming. <i>Now</i> you may begin Conversation.</span>" <span class="ralign">[<i>Utter Collapse of Partner.</i></span></p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>"COME ABOARD, SIR!"</h2> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p>"<span class="smcap">Come</span> aboard, Sir!" to the Captain</p> +<p class="i2">Says <span class="smcap">John Bright</span>, A.B,</p> +<p>As he touches his tarpaulin,</p> +<p class="i2">Smart and sailorly.</p> +<p>And the watch look pleased as Punches,</p> +<p class="i2">Officers and men,</p> +<p>For A.B.'s like <span class="smcap">John</span> are always</p> +<p class="i2">Welcome back again!</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>Over deck, and spars, and rigging</p> +<p class="i2"><span class="smcap">John</span> he slues his eye;</p> +<p>Gives a seaman's squint to leeward,</p> +<p class="i2">Scanning sea and sky;</p> +<p>At the binnacle he glances,</p> +<p class="i2">Notes the course she steers;</p> +<p>Nought on board or in the offing,</p> +<p class="i2">Scapes his eyes and ears.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>For the ship has seen hard weather,</p> +<p class="i2">And some people say; +<span class="smcap">Captain Gladstone</span> ain't the man he</p> +<p class="i2">Was the other day:</p> +<p>And if you believe the croakers,</p> +<p class="i2">Officers and crew,</p> +<p>Don't pull with a will together,</p> +<p class="i2">As they used to do.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>Certain 'tis, since <span class="smcap">John Bright</span> left her,</p> +<p class="i2">His sick leave to take,</p> +<p>The old craft, in last year's cruising,</p> +<p class="i2">Had an ugly shake.</p> +<p>Made poor day's-works, too much lee-way;</p> +<p class="i2">Badly fouled her screw:</p> +<p>Scraped her copper, if she didn't</p> +<p class="i2">Start a plate or two.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>Certain 'tis, with crew and captain,</p> +<p class="i2">Officers also,</p> +<p>Things don't go on quite as pleasant</p> +<p class="i2">As they used to go.</p> +<p>There's been some high-handed doings,</p> +<p class="i2">Some quite the reverse;</p> +<p>Some's took sick, and some's took sulky;</p> +<p class="i2">Some took soft, or worse.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>There's sea-lawyers—donkey-engines</p> +<p class="i2">Can't their slack haul in;</p> +<p>You may stop their grog, you'll never</p> +<p class="i2">Stop the yarns they spin:</p> +<p>There's your discontented beggars,</p> +<p class="i2">Nothing e'er can please;</p> +<p>There's your pennywise 'uns, nibbling</p> +<p class="i2">At the dips and cheese.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>There's your mutineers, for mischief</p> +<p class="i2">Ripe 'gainst flag and Crown;</p> +<p>Never pleased unless they're turning</p> +<p class="i2">'Tween-decks upside down.</p> +<p>There's your Queen's bad bargains, shirking</p> +<p class="i2">Work, whoever strain:</p> +<p>Trimmers <span class="smcap">Cox's</span> traverse working—</p> +<p class="i2">"There and back again."</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>Green-hands, as can't fudge a reckoning,</p> +<p class="i2">Of a watch in charge;</p> +<p>Looking after the <i>Britannia</i>,</p> +<p class="i2">And can't steer a barge!</p> +<p>For the Captain has his fancies—</p> +<p class="i2">When he's picked a man</p> +<p>For a job, whoe'er can't do it,</p> +<p class="i2"><i>He's</i> the chap as <i>can</i>.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>Anyway the ship's the better</p> +<p class="i2">By a good A.B.,</p> +<p>Now <span class="smcap">John Bright</span> is all a-taunto,</p> +<p class="i2">And come back to sea.</p> +<p>Be't to talk to the blue-jackets</p> +<p class="i2">Like a 'cute old salt;</p> +<p>Con the ship, or call the soundings,</p> +<p class="i2">Hide or slang a fault—</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>On the yardarm, big guns blowing,</p> +<p class="i2">Weather ear-ring take;</p> +<p>With bright yarns, to keep the watches</p> +<p class="i2">Spry and wide-awake;</p> +<p>So as to give cyclones the go-by,</p> +<p class="i2">Safest course to steer;</p> +<p>Canvas when to spread, when shorten,</p> +<p class="i2">With a lee-shore near—</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>No A.B. in the <i>Britannia</i></p> +<p class="i2">Better knows than <span class="smcap">John</span>:</p> +<p>Which let's hope that <span class="smcap">Captain G.</span> will</p> +<p class="i2">Take his advice thereon.</p> +<p>Well we know that now <span class="smcap">John's</span> buckled</p> +<p class="i2">To his work again,</p> +<p>'Twill for officers be better,</p> +<p class="i2">And for ship and men!</p> +</div> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page017" id="page017"></a>[pg 017]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:100%;"> <img width="100%" src="images/017.png" alt="" /> +<h2>"OFF GREENWICH."</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">John Bright.</span> "COME ABOARD, SIR!"</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Captain Gladstone.</span> "GLAD TO SEE YOU, JOHN. GLAD YOU'RE A.B. AGAIN. IF IT COMES ON TO BLOW, +WE MAY WANT YOUR ASSISTANCE."</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page019" id="page019"></a>[pg 019]</span></p> + +<h2>CHRISTMAS BOXES FOR BEAUTY.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">A novel</span> kind of Christmas Box is suggested +by a legend which <i>Mr. Punch</i> lately beheld +in the window of a hair-dresser's shop—"Presents +for Christmas." It was posted in +the midst of a variety of Chignons. A box +containing a quantity of false hair is the +Christmas-Box thereby presented to the imagination +of the passer-by. But who would offer +it to a young lady? Such a present is equivalent +to the gift of a wig. It is a Christmas-Box +or a New Year's Gift of a class in which +may be included several other articles of a +similar description, but more useful, and much +more ornamental. For instance, you might +give a friend in need, personal and pecuniary, +a Christmas-Box in the shape of a set of +artificial teeth, or the "Guinea Jaw" of our +friend the Dentist, or a glass eye, or a gutta-percha +nose, or a wooden leg.</p> + +<p>Some of the "Presents for Christmas" above +referred to were Chignons which looked like +horses' tails. Others of the Chignons for +Christmas-Boxes exhibited a remarkable resemblance +to the tail of a comet, from which +eccentric luminary the idea of those prodigious +top-knots may possibly have been +borrowed. Astronomy, along with Geography +and the Use of the Globes, has long formed a +branch of female education. An intelligent +girl, fresh from boarding-school, if requested +to describe the <i>Coma Berenices</i> might, or +might not inform her questioner that it was a +celestial Chignon.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>"Our Wig!"</h2> + +<p>Among the names of possible candidates for +the Speakership was that of <span class="smcap">Mr. Samuel +Whitbread</span>, Member for Bedford. He would +be an excellent Speaker, but, as matter of +humanity, <i>Punch</i> must have opposed this selection. +Imagine a triumph of the Anti-Liquor +League, imagine the success of a Bill for +putting down Porter, and imagine a grandson +of <span class="smcap">Whitbread</span> having to say "That this Bill +do pass!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>MY HEALTH.</h2> + +<div class="figleft" style="width:40%;"> <a href="images/019.png"><img width="100%" src="images/019.png" alt="H" /></a> +</div> + +<p><span class="smcap">ome</span> we return from +otter-hunting. Tired, +but expecting a +"Nicht wi' <span class="smcap">Ruddock</span>." +He is to be +at dinner, and a few +very intimates are +coming in the evening. +The few "very +intimates" have no +distance to drive—merely +a matter of +eight miles or so.</p> + +<p>From my window +I hear carriages drawing +up exactly at two +minutes to seven +o'clock. Punctuality +in Cornwall is the soul +of pleasure.</p> + +<p>Odd: at the last +moment I can't find +either a collar or a +white tie! "Come, +Desperation, lend thy +furious hold!" Rummage +in the drawers, +in the portmanteau. +Staggered. Where +can it be?—the collar, +I mean. Rummage +again. Getting hot +and excited. Ought +always to come down +to dinner calm, cool, +and collected. I shall +be the only one late, +and <i>I</i> hadn't to come +twelve miles to +dinner. No excuse except the real one,—"Couldn't find my collars, or a tie." Only one +thing for it. Ring the bell, and ask servant.</p> + +<p>"O yes. Sir! We were changing the drawers from this room to Master's. I dessay, +Sir, they're in there." They are. Rapture!</p> + +<p><i>Flash.</i>—Stirring subject for operatic and descriptive music—A Gentleman's Toilet +in Difficulties.</p> + +<p><i>Next Difficulty.</i>—Drop a stud suddenly. Hear it fall close by my foot. In fact, I feel, +from some peculiar sensation <i>in</i> my foot, that it is here, on the floor, close to me. No. +Hunt for it. Can't see it anywhere. [<i>Mem.</i>—Never travel without duplicate studs. +Won't, another time.] Still stooping: feeling about the carpet. Hands getting dirty +again, hair coming unbrushed, face growing warm and red.</p> + +<p><i>Flash.</i>—The stud being, as it were, an excrescence on the carpet, can be perceived by +lying on the floor, (like an Indian listening to hear if anybody's coming,) and directing +your eye in a right line. After this, clothes-brush required. Stud found at last +exactly where I thought it had been at first.</p> + +<p><i>Another Difficulty.</i>—Time getting on. 7.10. <span class="smcap">Pendell</span> by this time anxious below. +Every one arrived. I picture to myself <span class="smcap">Ruddock</span> in the drawing-room, filling +up the <i>mauvais quart d'heure</i> by satirical reflections on the dandy (me) who hadn't +time enough to beautify himself for dinner.</p> + +<p>I should be down now, if it wasn't for the button on my collar-band. I feel that +it's all over with it, if not touched gently. Once off, and worry will be my portion for +the remainder of the evening. And I know what is the result of attempting to pin it.</p> + +<p><i>Note.</i>—"Curses not loud, but deep." Quotation adapted to circumstances.</p> + +<p><i>Last Difficulty, I hope.</i>—After treating the button with suppressed emotion, dash +at the white tie. I find myself asking myself, "Why the washerwoman <i>will</i> fold it all +wrong, and starch it so that the slightest crinkle shows?" I have no answer. Of course +at any other moment I could tie it at once, and have done with it; but now first one +end's too long, then the other end's too short; then, on the third trial, the middle part +somehow gets hopelessly tucked into itself, and I am pulling at it, by mistake, for one +of the ends. At last I get it something like all right, but not everything that +could be desired. Waistcoat. Coat. Handkerchief! Where's handkerchief? Where +is—... ha! Down-stairs.</p> + +<p>Everybody waiting, evidently. Apology. "Ah!" says <span class="smcap">Pendell</span>, "um—ah—now +you've come, we'll—um——" and rings the bell.</p> + +<p>I recognise some of our companions out otter-hunting to-day. Galaxy, too, of +Cornish beauty, which means the darkest, brightest eyes and the clearest, freshest complexions. +Not being introduced, I look about for Old <span class="smcap">Ruddock</span>. There is an elderly +gentleman sitting at a table looking over a photograph book. This is the nearest +approach to Old <span class="smcap">Ruddock</span> that I can see. Dinner announced. I take in <span class="smcap">Miss Bodd</span>, of +Popthlanack, and follow the <span class="smcap">Trelissacs</span>, the <span class="smcap">Tregonies</span> of Tregivel, and <span class="smcap">Major +Penolver</span>, with <span class="smcap">Mrs. Somebody</span> of Somewhere. Whom <span class="smcap">Ruddock</span> takes, I don't know.</p> + +<p><i>A Discovery.</i>—I am seated next to Old <span class="smcap">Ruddock</span> of Ruddock, at dinner. <span class="smcap">Pendell</span> +introduces us. A hale, hearty, elderly gentleman, with, if any expression at all, rather +a sleepy one, as if a very little over-feeding would send him into a doze.</p> + +<p>Now then for a "Nicht wi' <span class="smcap">Ruddock</span>!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page020" id="page020"></a>[pg 020]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:100%;"> <img width="100%" src="images/020.png" alt="" /><h2>AMBITION.</h2> + +<p><i>Mr. Tittups (suggesting impossible Bank to full-sized Nimrod).</i> "<span class="smcap">Don't you Think we could have it here, Sir?</span>"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>POETRY OF FACT.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">At</span> the festive season of the year particularly, people commonly +complain that the newspapers are dull. Unless in exceptional years, +nothing happens of which the narration is in anywise interesting, +and the dearth of news is generally so extreme that journalists are +actually driven to fill their columns with theological controversies.</p> + +<p>The dryness of grammatical details has been surmounted by the +device of putting them into metre, as in the <i>As in Prĉsenti</i> and the +<i>Propria quĉ Maribus</i> of the Eton Latin Grammar. Might not the +contents of the Journals, in like sort, be rendered somewhat less +prosy than they sometimes are by being versified? The telegrams +would, perhaps, be peculiarly susceptible of this treatment, whereunto +they seem to lend themselves in virtue of their characteristic +conciseness, which it would enhance. The electric wire on New +Year's Day transmitted a certain message from Rome. Here it is in +the form of blank verse:—</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p>The King to-day received the Ministers.</p> +<p>The Deputations Parliamentary,</p> +<p>The State's great Officers, the military</p> +<p>And the municipal authorities,</p> +<p>And other delegates. His <span class="smcap">Majesty</span></p> +<p>Thanks for congratulations did return</p> +<p>To those who tendered them, occasionally,</p> +<p>Upon the New Year's Day; and he expressed</p> +<p>His hope that, 'twixt the representative</p> +<p>Great bodies of the People and the State,</p> +<p>The concord, which the national unity</p> +<p>Doth to complete essentially conduce,</p> +<p>Would ever be maintained.</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p>The Court Circular could be rendered in heroic rhymes. As thus:—</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p>The <span class="smcap">Queen</span> walked in the Castle Grounds this morn;</p> +<p>The <span class="smcap">Duke of Edinburgh</span>, <span class="smcap">Louise</span>, of Lorne</p> +<p>The Princess, and the Marquis with his bride,</p> +<p>For Town left Windsor after this noon-tide.</p> +<p><span class="smcap">Prince Arthur</span>, by <span class="smcap">Sir Howard Elphinstone</span></p> +<p>Attended, went to Dover, too, anon.</p> +<p>Right Honourable <span class="smcap">Gladstone</span> here has been</p> +<p>To-day, and had an audience of the <span class="smcap">Queen</span>,</p> +<p>The Premier, after that, remained to lunch,</p> +<p>The dinner-party included <i>Mr. Punch</i>.</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p>Other intelligence, miscellaneous or special, could be couched in +lyrical measures. Take a specimen of a money article:—</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p>The English funds, this blessèd day,</p> +<p class="i2">Have no fresh movement known,</p> +<p>Save of one-eighth a rise had they,</p> +<p class="i2">Which could not hold its own.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>Consols so little looked alive,</p> +<p class="i2">As quoted but to be</p> +<p>At ninety-two one half, to five—</p> +<p class="i2">Eighths, for delivery.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>Excitement did the day throughout</p> +<p class="i2">The Railway Market thrill;</p> +<p>Shares have been briskly pushed about,</p> +<p class="i2">And prices risen still.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>A hundred thousand pounds in gold</p> +<p class="i2">Came, at the Bank, to hand,</p> +<p>And much for discount there, behold!</p> +<p class="i2">Increased was the demand.</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p>Police reports also could be embodied in song, as, for example:—</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p>At Worship Street came <span class="smcap">Peter Fake</span>, a young thief,</p> +<p>Charged with stealing a watch, unto summary grief.</p> +<p>For three months, with hard labour, committed was he,</p> +<p>And well whipped, in addition, was ordered to be.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>The prisoner, on hearing his sentence, no doubt</p> +<p>More than he had expected, burst instantly out</p> +<p>In a howl, of a sort which description would mock;</p> +<p>In the midst of it he was removed from the dock.</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p>And so on. The suggestion above exemplified will perhaps be +<span class="pagenum"><a name="page021" id="page021"></a>[pg 021]</span> +adopted by some enterprising journalist, prepared to +afford the necessary remuneration to competent poets. +In the event of another war, the communications of Our +Special Correspondent might fall naturally into the form +of an Epic, shaped and determined by the course of +circumstances. The title of a journal composed in verse +might be, for want of a better, <i>The Poetical News</i>.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>THE SPEAKER.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> announcement that the present <span class="smcap">Speaker</span> of the +House of Commons is about to take his well-earned +pension and Peerage, and that the election of a successor +will be one of the first Acts of Parliament when +it meets in February, has occasioned much writing in +newspapers and conversation in the social circle, in +competition with the Temple of Justice, Clubs for +Working-Men, the State of the Streets, and the "insobriety" +which accompanies the festive season.</p> + +<p>As some misconception appears to prevail regarding the +<span class="smcap">Speaker's</span> exalted office, especially amongst the young +and gay, and in rural districts, <i>Mr. Punch</i>, the best +"Popular Educator" has (with the valuable assistance of +<span class="smcap">Sir Erskine May</span>) compiled a few notes on the subject, +which in his leisure moments he hopes to be able to +expand into a voluminous treatise, worthy to take its +place by the side of <i>Enfield's Speaker</i>, or anybody +else's.</p> + +<p>The office of Speaker is as old as the Saxon Wittenagemot, +but the mace now borne by the Serjeant-at-Arms +is not the one which <span class="smcap">Cromwell</span> impetuously +called a "bauble." That interesting relic of a bye-gone +age is said to be in a private collection in the United +States.</p> + +<p>The <span class="smcap">Speaker</span> is in the Chair whenever the House is +not in Committee. If it be asked, when is the House +in Committee, the answer is simple—whenever the +<span class="smcap">Speaker</span> is not in the Chair.</p> + +<p>The young and the gay and the country population +have been led astray by the <span class="smcap">Speaker's</span> misleading title[A]—the +fact being that the <span class="smcap">Speaker</span> does not speak, except +on very rare occasions.</p> + +<p class="note">[A] <i>Lucus a non lucendo.—Sil. Ital. de Arbor.</i>, <span class="smcap">xv.</span>, 1019.</p> + +<p>The <span class="smcap">Speaker</span> hears all the speeches which are made +during the time he is in the Chair, <i>for he must never +sleep while on duty</i>; but as most of those who have filled +the office have lived on, Session after Session, we may +hope that they did not consider themselves bound +<i>always</i> to listen. Even, however, with this relaxation, +the poor composition, the defective grammar, the arid +statistics, the threadbare quotations, the hesitations, the +repetitions, the bad delivery, the awkward action, the +wrong emphasis, <span class="smcap">Mr. Denison</span> must have heard and +seen through fifteen long years, cannot but have caused +him untold suffering. It seems almost incredible that +there should be any competition for the horrors of such +a post.</p> + +<p>The <span class="smcap">Speaker</span> has a salary, a secretary, a chaplain, +a counsel, a residence, and an allowance for keeping the +Mace in order. When he retires, he has a peerage and +a pension, and is allowed to take his Wig and Gown +and Chair away with him.</p> + +<p>The <span class="smcap">Speaker</span>, although not one of the commoner sort, +is the first Commoner in the land.</p> + +<p>The <span class="smcap">Speaker</span> is entitled to many privileges. He can +show friends (not exceeding four at a time) over both +Houses of Parliament without an order from the Lord +Chamberlain; he can take books out of the Library on +leaving a small deposit; he can call a wherry and go on +the river whenever he pleases; every tenth cygnet born +between Lambeth and London Bridge is his by prescriptive +right; and he is at liberty to charge the Consolidated +Fund with the cost of any refreshment he may +require during official hours, and with all cab fares to +and from the House.</p> + +<p>The most terrible exercise of the Speaker's authority +is when he "names" a Member. The miserable man +is committed to the Tower for life, and allowed no +book to read but <i>Hansard</i>; his estates are forfeited to +the Crown, and once a year, on the day when he committed +the offence for which he was "named," he is +taken by the Constable of the Tower in a tumbril to +Westminster, to beg pardon of the <span class="smcap">Speaker</span> and the +House on his knees.</p> + +<p>The <span class="smcap">Speaker</span> may be either a bachelor, a married man, or a widower, but +he must be one of the three.</p> + +<p>If a new Member shows any eccentricity in his dress, manners, speech, or +general deportment, the <span class="smcap">Speaker</span> asks him to tea, and quietly points out to +him the impropriety of which he has been guilty.</p> + +<p>At 2 <span class="smcap">A.M.</span>, at a moment's notice, without any opportunity of consulting authorities, +the <span class="smcap">Speaker</span> may be called upon to state what was the practice of the +House in the reign of <span class="smcap">Edward the Third</span>, or to remember a precedent established +during the time <span class="smcap">Sir Thomas More</span> filled the office, or to enforce a +Standing Order coëval with the Long Parliament.</p> + +<hr /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:60%;"> <a href="images/021.png"><img width="100%" src="images/021.png" alt="" /></a> +<h2>IN VINO MEMORIA.</h2> + +<p><i>Major Portsoken (a pretty constant Guest).</i> "<span class="smcap">I say, Buchanan, this isn't</span>—(<i>another +sip</i>)—<span class="smcap">the same Champagne</span>——!"</p> + +<p><i>Scotch Butler.</i> "<span class="smcap">Na, that's a' Dune! There was Thruity Dizzen; and +ye've had yere Share o't, Major!!</span>"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>BRAVO! BUMBLE.</h2> + +<blockquote> +"At a meeting of the Bury Town Council this week, it was stated that an address was +about to be presented to Her Royal Highness the <span class="smcap">Princess Louise</span> of Hesse, by way of a +public appreciation of her exertions on behalf of His Royal Highness the <span class="smcap">Prince of +Wales</span>. It was also stated that it was proposed to present a cabinet, containing the photographic +likenesses of those signing the address—Sheriffs and other officers in their +respective uniforms, and Mayors of boroughs in their robes." +</blockquote> + +<p><span class="smcap">A more</span> interesting gallery of portraits it would be difficult to imagine, +especially, if, as the encouraging words, "and other officers" incline us +to hope may be the case, the macebearers, beadles, and town-criers, with +possibly a selection from the police, are included in the cabinet. Perhaps it +would not be advisable to admit Sheriffs' officers. A fac-simile autograph +underneath each photograph, with the addition of the writer's usual formula +of subscription—"Yours truly," "Ever faithfully yours," &c.—would +materially enhance the value of the present. Everyone, who can appreciate +good taste, in combination with retiring modesty, must be struck with +this, the latest outburst of corporate zeal; and the impression such a delicate +attention as the offering of a cabinet containing the likenesses of some +of the most remarkable characters of their time, will produce upon foreign +nations, already full of admiration of our loyalty and envying us our Mayors, +cannot fail to be most gratifying to the nation's vanity.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page022" id="page022"></a>[pg 022]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:100%;"> <img width="100%" src="images/022.png" alt="" /> +<h2>MORE OFFICIAL CENSORSHIP OF PANTOMIME.</h2> + +<p><i>Policeman.</i> "<span class="smcap">I wouldn't have minded a Quiet Performance; but to begin Insultin' the Lawr under my wery Eyes!</span>—(<i>Waxing +wroth</i>)—<span class="smcap">Move on! or blow'd if I don't Run yer In!</span>"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>SURPRISING A CASTLE.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> least ancient and least interesting part of Warwick Castle +has been burned. Subscriptions are tendered in aid of a restoration. +Question is raised whether <span class="smcap">Lord Warwick</span> should accept these, lest +the public should consider that by subscribing it acquires a certain +right in the Castle, and that the Earl's legend will have a second +meaning, when affixed over the new buildings: <i>Vix ea nostra voco</i>. +The suggestion is unworthy and sordid. <i>Mr. Punch</i> would like to +see a vote of the Commons in aid of the subscription for conserving +about the noblest relic left to us. He would be glad to say to the +Earl, in <span class="smcap">Lord Warwick's</span> own words in the Temple Garden, after a +certain rose-plucking,</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p>"This blot that they object against your House</p> +<p>Shall be wiped off in the next Parliament."</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p>The cool idea that giving a nobleman help to rebuild entitles one +to walk into his property, is concentrated cheekiness; and if castles +are capable of astonishment, <i>Mr. Punch</i> would again quote W. S. +to the Earl, and say, "Your Castle <i>is</i> surprised."</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>Dirt! Dirt! Dirt!</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">We</span> have all been taught to tread the path of duty, but some of +us seem to have forgotten the lesson. May we entreat Commissioners, +Boards, Corporations, Vestries, Parochial Authorities, +indeed, any responsible and rate-levying body which has got into +bad ways, to do their duty to our paths; and if not this winter, +perhaps the next—or, not to be too exorbitant, the next after that—to +keep the pavements and the roadways passably clean? It +would be a satisfaction to those of us who have reached middle age +to think that we may yet live to see the streets of London, and +other wealthy towns and cities, rather less lutulent than country +lanes and rural roads. When will the scavenger be abroad?</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>THE SICK MAN IN THE VATICAN.</h2> + +<blockquote> +"It is stated that <span class="smcap">Victor Emmanuel</span> sent <span class="smcap">General Pralormo</span> to the +Vatican on New Year's Day to wish the <span class="smcap">Pope</span> the compliments of the season +on behalf of His Majesty. On arriving there, he was informed by <span class="smcap">Cardinal +Antonelli</span> that the Holy Father was indisposed, and could not, therefore, +receive him personally. The Cardinal undertook to deliver the compliments +of the King, and the General left. A few hours after, the <span class="smcap">Pope</span> was completely +recovered, and held his usual receptions." +</blockquote> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> faithful should congratulate the <span class="smcap">Pope</span> upon his rapid, almost +miraculous recovery. From the moment the wicked King's emissary +was out of the precincts of the Vatican, the symptoms became more +favourable, and the Court physicians were released from their +attendance. We notice, only to dismiss it with scorn, an impression +which appears to exist that the Holy Father was "indisposed," in the +primary sense of the word, as worldly sovereigns have been before +now; for it is not for an instant to be supposed that a Cardinal +would put forth, and a Pope sanction, any excuse which was not in +accordance with the strictest truth.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>Theological News.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">His Grace</span> the <span class="smcap">Duke of Somerset</span>, some time First Lord of the +Admiralty, has come out as a writer on theology. Needless to say +that he is not ceremonious in his treatment of eminent persons. He +is by no means complimentary to the Apostles. His teaching may +be condensed into his own motto, <i>Foi pour Devoir</i>, translated +subtly. In these days everybody seems ready to instruct us in +religion—except the Bishops.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>JUSTICE TO IRELAND.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">Motto for a Bottle of Potheen.</span>—"Oireland! with all thy +faults I love thy still."</p> + +<hr /> + +<blockquote> +Printed by Joseph Smith, of No. 24, Holford Square, in the Parish of St. James, Clerkenwell, in the County of Middlesex, at the Printing Offices of Messrs. Bradbury, Evans, & Co., Lombard +Street, in the Precinct of Whitefriars, in the City of London, and Published by him at No. 85, Fleet Street, in the Parish of St. Bride, City of London.—<span class="smcap">Saturday</span>, January 13, 1872. +</blockquote> + +<hr/> + +<h2>Transcriber Notes:</h2> + +<p>Throughout the dialogues, there were words used to mimic accents of +the speakers. Those words were retained as-is.</p> + +<p>The illustrations have been moved so that they do not break up +paragraphs. Thus the +page number of the illustration might not match the page number in the +original.</p> + +<p>Errors in punctuations and inconsistent hyphenation were not corrected +unless otherwise noted.</p> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. +62, Jan 13, 1872, by Various + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH *** + +***** This file should be named 38261-h.htm or 38261-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/8/2/6/38261/ + +Produced by Punch, or the London Charivari, Malcolm Farmer, +Ernest Schaal, and the Online Distributed Proofreading +Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +http://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at http://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit http://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. +To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + + +</pre> + +</body> +</html> + diff --git a/38261-h/images/013.png b/38261-h/images/013.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9ab4789 --- /dev/null +++ b/38261-h/images/013.png diff --git a/38261-h/images/014.png b/38261-h/images/014.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1eb8586 --- /dev/null +++ b/38261-h/images/014.png diff --git a/38261-h/images/015.png b/38261-h/images/015.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..62a91c0 --- /dev/null +++ b/38261-h/images/015.png diff --git a/38261-h/images/016.png b/38261-h/images/016.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..012354b --- /dev/null +++ b/38261-h/images/016.png diff --git a/38261-h/images/017.png b/38261-h/images/017.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d242824 --- /dev/null +++ b/38261-h/images/017.png diff --git a/38261-h/images/019.png b/38261-h/images/019.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5852487 --- /dev/null +++ b/38261-h/images/019.png diff --git a/38261-h/images/020.png b/38261-h/images/020.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..85fef2c --- /dev/null +++ b/38261-h/images/020.png diff --git a/38261-h/images/021.png b/38261-h/images/021.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..120e6e6 --- /dev/null +++ b/38261-h/images/021.png diff --git a/38261-h/images/022.png b/38261-h/images/022.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b2db79b --- /dev/null +++ b/38261-h/images/022.png |
