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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/38050-8.txt b/38050-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..97bb2ae --- /dev/null +++ b/38050-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,756 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of All (Frightfully Unofficial) about an Old +Friend of mine., by T. C. Gash + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: All (Frightfully Unofficial) about an Old Friend of mine. + What he most probably was. What he most certainly will be + and who has done this? Why The Cat. + +Author: T. C. Gash + +Release Date: November 18, 2011 [EBook #38050] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALL (FRIGHTFULLY UNOFFICIAL) *** + + + + +Produced by Chris Curnow, Anna Whitehead, Diane Monico, +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + + +ALL +(Frightfully Unofficial) +about an OLD FRIEND of mine + +What he most probably was +What he most certainly will be +AND WHO HAS DONE THIS? + +WHY +THE CAT. + + + + +Dedicated to the Notice +OF ALL +The Firms of this Great City +whether +BANKERS BROKERS OR OTHERS +WHO +In their Rise to Wealth and Affluence +have NOT yet +Recognised the "Generous Policy" That their +Success is always partly Due to the Honesty and +Energy of their +SERVANTS, +AND WHO +After taking to Themselves all the +_HONEY_ in the _HIVE_ +Leave to the +WORKERS +NOTHING +but the Lees. + +"A good Master maketh a good Servant" + + MARTIN TUPPER. + + + + +[Illustration: + +ALL +(Frightfully Unofficial) +about an OLD FRIEND of mine + +What he most probably was +What he most certainly will be +AND WHO HAS DONE THIS? + +WHY +THE CAT.] + + + + +[Illustration: What he most probably was, + +before he became] + + +[Illustration: A General-Private-Joint-Continental-Universal-Everlasting +Respectable-Responsible +BANKERS CLERK. + +During his 1st year of Service + +(Fancies he's got a "good thing")] + + +[Illustration: At 10 years Service, he has his doubts.] + + +[Illustration: This is the BC of 20 years Service--he--_hasn't any +doubts now_. Bless you! He knows _all about it, and_ he's going home! To +his--_Dinner_!!!] + + +[Illustration: HERE IT IS! + +AND ought'nt he to be _thankful_] + + +[Illustration: AT 40, 50, or 150 years Service, _he wonders_ (_ha! ha!_) +Why his old heart may not be eased + +_BY A PENSION_ + +that _he and his_ can live upon, together with a _handsome present_ of +_the remnant of his life_] + + +[Illustration: But he is informed that if he will send in his +_resignation_ _first_, It will be seen what can be done for him + +_Afterwards_ + +"_Is he quite worn out.?_ not another _6 months_? dear me! + +_quite sure?_ Ah!"] + + +[Illustration: This generous proposal does'nt satisfy our greedy old +friend, so he comes up to the scratch as usual + +And he works all day, and he dreams all night] + + +[Illustration: Once he dreamt (silly Old boy) he dreamt] + + +[Illustration: He had an _IDEA_!!! + +(of course it was only a dream.)] + + +[Illustration: (His Dream) + +Why not appeal to his Masters the DIRECTORS they can but say No. they +are Gentlemen, and _they won't eat him_] + + +[Illustration: (His Dream) + +And of cours.--HOORAY!!!! + +The DIRECTORS declare that their _trusted servant_ SHOULD NOT be an +_exception_ to the _Universal Rule_, but that he had risen in value like +everything else AND they further declare, they will not permit, _the man +whose labour increases with their success_, to be _left behind_ by the +butcher, the Baker, or the Candlestick Maker.--_NO_ not to put dividends +into their own pockets, + +_OR ANY OTHER MANS_] + + +[Illustration: (still his dream.) + +And Georgiana-Amelia looks more like the girl he took away from the old +Rectory 20 years ago than he ever hoped to see again + +Why she's getting FAT!, Sir FAT!] + + +[Illustration: (but dreams) + +And so is Tommy' Sir.] + + +[Illustration: (very happy dreams) + +And Georgiana Amelia, Junior.] + + +[Illustration: (Are very very seldom) + +And so Goodbye, Sir Goodbye. No, we _do not_ live at Poplar now--Why, +yes, quite a change. Just so Good bye to you, Sir + +_Hem_--_WE ARE GOING TO CHURCH._] + + +[Illustration: (REALIZED) + +OH! _Are you_.--_You're going to the City_, Old Boy. WHAT!!! _Give you +more pay_--Pooh. Think of the Honorable _Confidence_ your Masters +_cannot help giving you_--Think of that--Very Valuable, Eh. + +_Ah! I should think so_, and you had better wake up those Shakey old +legs of yours, or you'll be _Under the Line_] + + +[Illustration: And one Morning + +_he is_ _Under the Line_] + + +[Illustration: And _THIS is the result of his lifes labour_] + + +[Illustration: + +EXTRAORDINARY COINCIDENCE + +SOME BODY +ELSE + +HAS BEEN DREAMING + +OR + +OUR MUTUAL FRIEND + +BEING + +The FINAL SCRATCHES of + +THE CAT + +WHO + +After this will vanish + +And like the baseless +fabrick of a dream +Leave not a wrack behind] + + +[Illustration: Having attended a Committee of the most exciting and +exhaustive nature "Somebody" indulges in the traditional "40 Winks".] + + +[Illustration: But the Committee hasn't done with him yet--the "Winks" +are disturbed, and the Phantom of a defunct argument, that _He_ settled +long ago, sits itself rudely on the table, in a Makeshifty sort of way +and insists upon having another "go in".] + + +[Illustration: And so he thinks, _He_ thinks! his income is too small; +Why _it's Princely_, said the "Shadowy party" whose own "pull" was about +£20,000 a year, He ought to make it do somehow, and if he don't like it +you can manage without him. + +Now look here, let me show you an Article.] + + +[Illustration: _There!!!_ + +Now I call this cheap.--_There he is_, Salary £40. _and_ white choker +_not_ objected to. (for the matter of that he'll wear plush +or--anything)----Come he's goodlooking. He'll work for you, respect you, +as much as he does himself, be a credit to you, _and_ finally, he's been +in the Pawnbroking line, _says_ _he lives on Oatmeal Porridge--and comes +from the North_ + +(ED NOTE "Puss" who comes fra' the North hersel, is disgusted with the +"Cad", _and does'nt believe him_.] + + +[Illustration: His harmless Pursuits----] + + +[Illustration: And his simple Tastes,----] + + +[Illustration: Will render him at once the _ornament_ and "Prop" of your +Establisment.--] + + +[Illustration: _And_ if in the ingenuous enthusiasm of his _Generous_ +Nature, _he should_ by chance "run short"; He's _not the man_ to pester +you with Petitions. _He_ has a soul above _asking for Money_.] + + +[Illustration: Just so--,] + + +[Illustration: Ha! Ha! laughed "Somebody", to "the" great danger of the +"Winks"; _Of course_, and we shouldn't dream of taking such a scamp. +_We_, Hem, have _always_ drawn _Our_ staff from a _very_ different +class, and _why_ shouldn't we always do so, _We_ are quite satisfied +with them, and our Business, and our Profits are Increasing +yearly.----Upon my word said "Somebody" _everything_ connected with "Our +House" gives me unlimited satisfaction.] + + +[Illustration: And you are going to make the satisfaction just a _leetle +Mutual_; Sir, indeed we ought to thank you very much; Said a new and +most impertinent Essence, who appeared, somewhat prematurely, to have +made up his mind, and so settled the question out of hand.] + + +[Illustration: What do you mean, Sir. We don't require _your_ +interference said "Somebody" (who couldn't encourage that sort of +thing). I see they forgot the Doctor, and no doubt your _Wife will go_ +to church. Yes, that sort of thing does cost _something_, and you +couldn't very well stop her, no, no. And I see you _never_ spend _any +money_ for Conveyance, and you never have _any_ recreation, or change of +air; nothing to help through the dismal monotony of your 12 days holiday +in _November_ or _February_ and you can't even afford "8 hours at the +Sea Side" for the Wife and little ones. In fact you've no money. _no +comfort! no Pipe! no Glass! no music! no Paper! no nothing._ + +Well!!! said "Somebody" you're an _Extraordinary Man_--_but I don't +believe you_--Now I can _understand this_. _You cannot afford_ _any_ of +these things, _that_ is clear. But Human Nature is frail, and Alas! +B.C.s _are but_ Human. Come, Sir confess at least _to some of these +iniquities_, and then--_What is the consequence?_] + + +[Illustration: Why 50 per cent of you get into debt, and you know it +Said "Somebody" do you think you can decieve me? Why its clear that if +you will _really_ make out a list of The Butcher, The Baker, The Water +rate, The _Poor Rate_!! and the Income Tax (every penny--poor devil) and +_all the other luxuries in which you indulge_. Why both ends _can't_ +meet] + + +[Illustration: Somebody Somebody, Esquire + +Of course they wont. I've said so before. Give you my Vote and Interest? +Do we wish to conduct our Business on the "Old Clo" principle, like a +Firm of Jew Slopmakers? said "Somebody", getting Indignant, and +dangerously red about the Face--NO! very well. Give you my Vote and +Interest? _I always have._ Give them again?----(you know young man, this +is all very unofficial--well then) Yes.--_I Will_] + + +[Illustration: And "Somebody" said "I will" so loudly that he woke +himself up.] + + +[Illustration: And "Somebody" _who was "Somebody"_ (may his shadow never +be less) _did_ give his Vote and Interest. + +_And the result_, some of it is in my Pocket (_long may it stop there_) +the Result is, that _Our House_ is up to _any Amount of Work_ and will +undertake _to beat the Cheap Jacks into Fits_ + +Let us hope the example of "our little Shop" will be catching + +Now then ALLTOGETHER + AND SO SAY ALL OF US + AND SO SAY ALL OF US +FOR HE IS A JOLLY GOOD + +SOMEBODY COMING + +See him do it! + +Puss in taking leave of his Friends _Congratulates_ them on the _Fact_ +that _they know who is_ OUR "MUTUAL FRIEND" (and it isn't everyone can +say that). In conclusion it is to be hoped that "Nobody" will be the +only person so _unfeline_ as to dream of + +"PUTTING A STOPPER ON THE CAT'S MEAT"] + + * * * * * + +Transcriber's Notes + +Retained the spelling and punctuation anomalies of the original. + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of All (Frightfully Unofficial) about an +Old Friend of mine., by T. C. Gash + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALL (FRIGHTFULLY UNOFFICIAL) *** + +***** This file should be named 38050-8.txt or 38050-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/8/0/5/38050/ + +Produced by Chris Curnow, Anna Whitehead, Diane Monico, +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/38050-8.zip b/38050-8.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..929595f --- /dev/null +++ b/38050-8.zip diff --git a/38050-h.zip b/38050-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5710fa2 --- /dev/null +++ b/38050-h.zip diff --git a/38050-h/38050-h.htm b/38050-h/38050-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6b12ade --- /dev/null +++ b/38050-h/38050-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1262 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of All (Frightfully Unofficial) About an Old Friend of Mine, by T. C. Gash. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + +body { + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; +} + + h1 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; +} + +p { + margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; +} + + +hr.r45 {width: 45%; margin-top: 3em; margin-bottom: 3em;} + +.pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + /* visibility: hidden; */ + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; +} + +.center {text-align: center;} + +.smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + +.u {text-decoration: underline;} + +.caption {font-weight: bold;} + +.figcenter { + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + text-align: center; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-top: 2em; +} + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of All (Frightfully Unofficial) about an Old +Friend of mine., by T. C. Gash + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: All (Frightfully Unofficial) about an Old Friend of mine. + What he most probably was. What he most certainly will be + and who has done this? Why The Cat. + +Author: T. C. Gash + +Release Date: November 18, 2011 [EBook #38050] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALL (FRIGHTFULLY UNOFFICIAL) *** + + + + +Produced by Chris Curnow, Anna Whitehead, Diane Monico, +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<h1> +ALL<br /> +<small>(Frightfully Unofficial)</small><br /> +<small>about an</small> OLD FRIEND <small>of mine</small><br /><br /> + +<small>What he most probably was</small><br /> +<small>What he most certainly will be</small><br /> +AND WHO HAS DONE THIS?<br /><br /> + +<small>WHY</small><br /> +THE CAT. +</h1> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 369px;"> +<img src="images/i_cover.jpg" width="369" height="600" alt="(cover)" title="(cover)"/> +</div> + +<hr class="r45" /> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 396px;"> +<img src="images/i_002.png" width="396" height="600" +alt="" title=""/> +<span class="caption">Dedicated to the Notice<br /> +<small>OF ALL</small><br /> +<big>The Firms of this Great City</big><br /> +<small>whether</small><br /> +<span class="smcap"><big>Bankers Brokers or others</big></span><br /> +WHO<br /> +<small>In their Rise to Wealth and Affluence</small><br /> +<small>have</small> NOT <small>yet</small><br /> +Recognised the "Generous Policy" That their<br /> +Success is always partly Due to the Honesty and<br /> +Energy of their<br /> +<big>SERVANTS,</big><br /> +AND WHO<br /> +After taking to Themselves all the<br /> +<i><big>HONEY</big></i> in the <i><big>HIVE</big></i><br /> +Leave to the<br /> +<big>WORKERS</big><br /> +NOTHING<br /> +but the Lees.<br /> +<br /> +"A good Master maketh a good Servant"<br /> +<small>MARTIN TUPPER.</small></span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 371px;"> +<img src="images/i_004.jpg" width="371" height="600" +alt="ALL +(Frightfully Unofficial) +about an OLD FRIEND of mine + +What he most probably was +What he most certainly will be +AND WHO HAS DONE THIS? + +WHY +THE CAT." title="ALL +(Frightfully Unofficial) +about an OLD FRIEND of mine + +What he most probably was +What he most certainly will be +AND WHO HAS DONE THIS? + +WHY +THE CAT."/> +<span class="caption">ALL<br /> +(Frightfully Unofficial)<br /> +about an OLD FRIEND of mine<br /> +<br /> +What he most probably was<br /> +What he most certainly will be<br /> +AND WHO HAS DONE THIS?<br /> +<br /> +WHY<br /> +THE CAT.</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + + + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 369px;"> +<img src="images/i_006.png" width="369" height="600" alt="What he most probably was, + +before he became" title="What he most probably was, + +before he became"/> +<span class="caption">What he most probably was,<br /><br /> + +before he became</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 359px;"> +<img src="images/i_008.png" width="359" height="600" alt="A General-Private-Joint-Continental-Universal-Everlasting +Respectable-Responsible BANKERS CLERK. + +During his 1st year of Service + +(Fancies he's got a "good thing")" title="A General-Private-Joint-Continental-Universal-Everlasting +Respectable-Responsible BANKERS CLERK. + +During his 1st year of Service + +(Fancies he's got a "good thing")"/> +<span class="caption">A General-Private-Joint-Continental-Universal-Everlasting +Respectable-Responsible<br /> BANKERS CLERK.<br /><br /> + +During his 1st year of Service<br /><br /> + +(Fancies he's got a "good thing")</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 401px;"> +<img src="images/i_010.png" width="401" height="600" alt="At 10 years Service, he has his doubts." title="At 10 years Service, he has his doubts."/> +<span class="caption">At 10 years Service, he has his doubts.</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 381px;"> +<img src="images/i_012.png" width="381" height="600" alt="This is the BC of 20 years Service—he—hasn't any doubts + now. Bless you! He knows all about it, and he's going home! To +his—Dinne!!!" title="This is the BC of 20 years Service—he—hasn't any doubts + now. Bless you! He knows all about it, and he's going home! To +his—Dinne!!!"/> +<span class="caption">This is the BC of 20 years Service—he—<span class="u">hasn't any doubts +now</span>. Bless you! He knows <span class="u">all about it, and</span> he's going home! To +his—<span class="u">Dinner</span>!!!</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 414px;"> +<img src="images/i_014.png" width="414" height="600" alt="HERE IT IS! + +AND ought'nt he to be thankful" title="HERE IT IS! + +AND ought'nt he to be thankful"/> +<span class="caption">HERE IT IS!<br /><br /> + +AND ought'nt he to be <span class="u">thankful</span></span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 408px;"> +<img src="images/i_016.png" width="408" height="600" alt="AT 40, 50, or 150 years Service, he wonders (ha! ha!) Why +his old heart may not be eased BY A PENSION + +that he and his can live upon, together with a handsome present of the + remnant of his life" title=" AT 40, 50, or 150 years Service, he wonders (ha! ha!) Why +his old heart may not be eased BY A PENSION + +that he and his can live upon, together with a handsome present of the + remnant of his life"/> +<span class="caption">AT 40, 50, or 150 years Service, <span class="u">he wonders</span> (<span class="u">ha! ha!</span>) Why +his old heart may not be eased<br /><br /> + +<span class="u">BY A PENSION</span><br /><br /> + +that <span class="u">he and his</span> can live upon, together with a <span class="u">handsome present</span> of <span class="u">the +remnant of his life</span></span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;"> +<img src="images/i_018.png" width="400" height="600" alt="But he is informed that if he will send in his + resignation first, It will be seen what can be done for him Afterwards + +"Is he quite worn out.? not another 6 months? dear me! Quite sure? Ah!"" title="But he is informed that if he will send in his + resignation first, It will be seen what can be done for him Afterwards + +"Is he quite worn out.? not another 6 months? dear me! Quite sure? Ah!""/> +<span class="caption">But he is informed that if he will send in his +<span class="u">resignation</span> <span class="u">first</span>, It will be seen what can be done for him<br /><br /> + +<span class="u">Afterwards</span><br /><br /> + +"<span class="u">Is he quite worn out.?</span> not another <span class="u">6 months</span>? dear me!<br /><br /> + +<span class="u">quite sure?</span> Ah!"</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 519px;"> +<img src="images/i_020.png" width="519" height="600" alt="This generous proposal does'nt satisfy our greedy old +friend, so he comes up to the scratch as usual + +And he works all day, and he dreams all night" title="This generous proposal does'nt satisfy our greedy old +friend, so he comes up to the scratch as usual + +And he works all day, and he dreams all night"/> +<span class="caption">This generous proposal does'nt satisfy our greedy old +friend, so he comes up to the scratch as usual<br /><br /> + +And he works all day, and he dreams all night</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 723px;"> +<img src="images/i_022.png" width="723" height="600" alt="Once he dreamt (silly Old boy) he dreamt" title="Once he dreamt (silly Old boy) he dreamt"/> +<span class="caption">Once he dreamt (silly Old boy) he dreamt</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 457px;"> +<img src="images/i_024.png" width="457" height="600" alt="He had an IDEA!!! + +(of course it was only a dream.)" title="He had an IDEA!!! + +(of course it was only a dream.)"/> +<span class="caption">He had an <span class="u">IDEA</span>!!!<br /><br /> + +(of course it was only a dream.)</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 395px;"> +<img src="images/i_026.png" width="395" height="600" alt="(His Dream) + +Why not appeal to his Masters the DIRECTORS they can but say No. they + are Gentlemen, and they won't eat him" title="(His Dream) + +Why not appeal to his Masters the DIRECTORS they can but say No. they + are Gentlemen, and they won't eat him"/> +<span class="caption">(His Dream)<br /><br /> + +Why not appeal to his Masters the DIRECTORS they can but say No. they +are Gentlemen, and<br /><br /> <span class="u">they won't eat him</span></span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 355px;"> +<img src="images/i_028.png" width="355" height="600" alt="(His Dream) + +And of cours.—HOORAY!!!! + +The DIRECTORS declare that their trusted servant SHOULD NOT be an + exception to the Universal Rule, but that he had risen in value like +everything else AND they further declare, they will not permit, the man +whose labour increases with their success, to be left behind by the +butcher, the Baker, or the Candlestick Maker.— NO not to put dividends + into their own pockets, OR ANY OTHER MANS" title="(His Dream) + +And of cours.—HOORAY!!!! + +The DIRECTORS declare that their trusted servant SHOULD NOT be an + exception to the Universal Rule, but that he had risen in value like +everything else AND they further declare, they will not permit, the man +whose labour increases with their success, to be left behind by the +butcher, the Baker, or the Candlestick Maker.— NO not to put dividends + into their own pockets, OR ANY OTHER MANS"/> +<span class="caption">(His Dream)<br /><br /> + +And of cours.—HOORAY!!!!<br /><br /> + +The DIRECTORS declare that their <span class="u">trusted servant</span> SHOULD NOT be an +<span class="u">exception</span> to the <span class="u">Universal Rule</span>, but that he had risen in value like +everything else AND they further declare, they will not permit, <span class="u">the man +whose labour increases with their success</span>, to be <span class="u">left behind</span> by the +butcher, the Baker, or the Candlestick Maker.—<span class="u">NO</span> not to put dividends +into their own pockets,<br /><br /> + +<span class="u">OR ANY OTHER MANS</span></span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 430px;"> +<img src="images/i_030.png" width="430" height="600" alt="(still his dream.) + +And Georgiana-Amelia looks more like the girl he took away from the old +Rectory 20 years ago than he ever hoped to see again + +Why she's getting FAT!, Sir FAT!" title="(still his dream.) + +And Georgiana-Amelia looks more like the girl he took away from the old +Rectory 20 years ago than he ever hoped to see again + +Why she's getting FAT!, Sir FAT!"/> +<span class="caption">(still his dream.)<br /><br /> + +And Georgiana-Amelia looks more like the girl he took away from the old +Rectory 20 years ago than he ever hoped to see again<br /><br /> + +Why she's getting FAT!, Sir FAT!</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 488px;"> +<img src="images/i_032.png" width="488" height="600" alt="(but dreams) + +And so is Tommy' Sir." title="(but dreams) + +And so is Tommy' Sir."/> +<span class="caption">(but dreams)<br /><br /> + +And so is Tommy' Sir.</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 448px;"> +<img src="images/i_034.png" width="448" height="600" alt="(very happy dreams) + +And Georgiana Amelia, Junior." title="(very happy dreams) + +And Georgiana Amelia, Junior."/> +<span class="caption">(very happy dreams)<br /><br /> + +And Georgiana Amelia, Junior.</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 421px;"> +<img src="images/i_036.png" width="421" height="600" alt="(Are very very seldom) + +And so Goodbye, Sir Goodbye. No, we do not live at Poplar now— Why, yes, +quite a change. Just so Good bye to you, Sir Hem— WE ARE GOING TO CHURCH." title="(Are very very seldom) + +And so Goodbye, Sir Goodbye. No, we do not live at Poplar now— Why, yes, +quite a change. Just so Good bye to you, Sir Hem— WE ARE GOING TO CHURCH."/> +<span class="caption">(Are very very seldom)<br /><br /> + +And so Goodbye, Sir Goodbye. No, we <span class="u">do not</span> live at Poplar now—Why, yes, +quite a change. Just so Good bye to you, Sir<br /><br /> + +<span class="u">Hem</span>—<span class="u">WE ARE GOING TO CHURCH.</span></span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 378px;"> +<img src="images/i_038.png" width="378" height="600" alt="(REALIZED) + +OH Are you.— You're going to the City, Old Boy. WHAT!!! Give you more + pay— Pooh. Think of the Honorable Confidence your Masters cannot help +giving you—Think of that— Very Valuable, Eh.Ah! I should think so, and you had better wake up those Shakey old legs + of yours, or you'll be Under the Line" title="(REALIZED) + +OH Are you.— You're going to the City, Old Boy. WHAT!!! Give you more + pay— Pooh. Think of the Honorable Confidence your Masters cannot help +giving you—Think of that— Very Valuable, Eh.Ah! I should think so, and you had better wake up those Shakey old legs +of yours, or you'll be Under the Line"/> +<span class="caption">(REALIZED)<br /><br /> + +OH! <span class="u">Are you</span>.—<span class="u">You're going to the City</span>, Old Boy. WHAT!!! <span class="u">Give you more +pay</span>—Pooh. Think of the Honorable <span class="u">Confidence</span> your Masters <span class="u">cannot help +giving you</span>—Think of that—Very Valuable, Eh.<br /><br /> + +<span class="u">Ah! I should think so</span>, and you had better wake up those Shakey old legs +of yours, or you'll be <span class="u">Under the Line</span></span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 557px;"> +<img src="images/i_040.png" width="557" height="600" alt="And one Morning he is Under the Line" title="And one Morning he is Under the Line"/> +<span class="caption">And one Morning<br /><br /> + +<span class="u">he is</span> <span class="u">Under the Line</span></span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 455px;"> +<img src="images/i_042.png" width="455" height="600" alt="And THIS is the result of his lifes labour" title="And THIS is the result of his lifes labour"/> +<span class="caption">And <span class="u">THIS is the result of his lifes labour</span></span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 479px;"> +<img src="images/i_044.png" width="479" height="800" alt="EXTRAORDINARY COINCIDENCE +SOME BODY +ELSE +HAS BEEN DREAMING +OR +OUR MUTUAL FRIEND +BEING THE FINAL SCRATCHES of +THE CAT +WHO +After this will vanish +And like the baseless +fabrick of a dream +Leave not a wrack behind" title="EXTRAORDINARY COINCIDENCE +SOME BODY +ELSE +HAS BEEN DREAMING +OR +OUR MUTUAL FRIEND +BEING THE FINAL SCRATCHES of +THE CAT +WHO +After this will vanish +And like the baseless +fabrick of a dream +Leave not a wrack behind"/> +<span class="caption">EXTRAORDINARY COINCIDENCE<br /> +<br /> +SOME BODY<br /> +ELSE<br /> +<br /> +HAS BEEN DREAMING<br /> +<br /> +OR<br /> +<br /> +OUR MUTUAL FRIEND<br /> +<br /> +BEING<br /> +<br /> +The FINAL SCRATCHES of<br /> +<br /> +THE CAT<br /> +<br /> +WHO<br /> +<br /> +After this will vanish<br /> +<br /> +And like the baseless<br /> +fabrick of a dream<br /> +Leave not a wrack behind</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 1]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 366px;"> +<img src="images/i_046.png" width="366" height="600" alt="Having attended a Committee of the most exciting and + exhaustive nature "Somebody" indulges in the traditional "40 Winks"." title="Having attended a Committee of the most exciting and + exhaustive nature "Somebody" indulges in the traditional "40 Winks"."/> +<span class="caption">Having attended a Committee of the most exciting and +exhaustive nature "Somebody" indulges in the traditional "40 Winks".</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 2]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 424px;"> +<img src="images/i_048.png" width="424" height="600" alt="But the Committee hasn't done with him yet— the "Winks" + are disturbed, and the Phantom of a defunct argument, that He settled +long ago, sits itself rudely on the table, in a Makeshifty sort of way + and insists upon having another "go in"." title="But the Committee hasn't done with him yet— the "Winks" + are disturbed, and the Phantom of a defunct argument, that He settled +long ago, sits itself rudely on the table, in a Makeshifty sort of way + and insists upon having another "go in"."/> +<span class="caption">But the Committee hasn't done with him yet—the "Winks" +are disturbed, and the Phantom of a defunct argument, that <span class="u">He</span> settled +long ago, sits itself rudely on the table, in a Makeshifty sort of way +and insists upon having another "go in".</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 3]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 442px;"> +<img src="images/i_050.png" width="442" height="600" alt="And so he thinks, He thinks! his income is too small; Why + it's Princely, said the "Shadowy party" whose own "pull" was about +£20,000 a year, He ought to make it do somehow, and if he don't like it + you can manage without him. Now look here, let me show you an Article." title="And so he thinks, He thinks! his income is too small; Why + it's Princely, said the "Shadowy party" whose own "pull" was about +£20,000 a year, He ought to make it do somehow, and if he don't like it + you can manage without him. Now look here, let me show you an Article."/> +<span class="caption">And so he thinks, <span class="u">He</span> thinks! his income is too small; Why +<span class="u">it's Princely</span>, said the "Shadowy party" whose own "pull" was about +£20,000 a year, He ought to make it do somehow, and if he don't like it +you can manage without him.<br /><br /> + +Now look here, let me show you an Article.</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 4]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 362px;"> +<img src="images/i_052.png" width="362" height="600" alt="There!!! + +Now I call this cheap.— There he is, Salary £40. and white choker not +objected to. (for the matter of that he'll wear plush +or—anything)——Come he's goodlooking. He'll work for you, respect you, +as much as he does himself, be a credit to you, and finally, he's been +in the Pawnbroking line, says he lives on Oatmeal Porridge—and comes + from the North + +(ED NOTE "Puss" who comes fra' the North hersel, is disgusted with the + "Cad", and does'nt believe him." title="There!!! + +Now I call this cheap.— There he is, Salary £40. and white choker not +objected to. (for the matter of that he'll wear plush +or—anything)——Come he's goodlooking. He'll work for you, respect you, +as much as he does himself, be a credit to you, and finally, he's been +in the Pawnbroking line, says he lives on Oatmeal Porridge—and comes + from the North + +(ED NOTE "Puss" who comes fra' the North hersel, is disgusted with the + "Cad", and does'nt believe him."/> +<span class="caption"><span class="u">There!!!</span><br /><br /> + +Now I call this cheap.—<span class="u">There he is</span>, Salary £40. <span class="u">and</span> white choker <span class="u">not</span> +objected to. (for the matter of that he'll wear plush +or—anything)——Come he's goodlooking. He'll work for you, respect you, +as much as he does himself, be a credit to you, <span class="u">and</span> finally, he's been +in the Pawnbroking line, <span class="u">says</span> <span class="u">he lives on Oatmeal Porridge—and comes +from the North</span><br /><br /> + +(ED NOTE "Puss" who comes fra' the North hersel, is disgusted with the +"Cad", <span class="u">and does'nt believe him</span>.</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 5]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 452px;"> +<img src="images/i_054.png" width="452" height="600" alt="His harmless Pursuits——" title="His harmless Pursuits——"/> +<span class="caption">His harmless Pursuits——</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 6]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 449px;"> +<img src="images/i_056.png" width="449" height="600" alt="And his simple Tastes,——" title="And his simple Tastes,——"/> +<span class="caption">And his simple Tastes,——</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 7]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 562px;"> +<img src="images/i_058.png" width="562" height="600" alt="Will render him at once the ornament and "Prop" of your +Establisment.—" title="Will render him at once the ornament and "Prop" of your +Establisment.—"/> +<span class="caption">Will render him at once the <span class="u">ornament</span> and "Prop" of your +Establisment.—</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 8]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 493px;"> +<img src="images/i_060.png" width="493" height="600" alt="And if in the ingenuous enthusiasm of his Generous +Nature, he should by chance "run short"; He's not the man to pester you + with Petitions. He has a soul above asking for Money." title="And if in the ingenuous enthusiasm of his Generous +Nature, he should by chance "run short"; He's not the man to pester you + with Petitions. He has a soul above asking for Money."/> +<span class="caption"><span class="u">And</span> if in the ingenuous enthusiasm of his <span class="u">Generous</span> +Nature, <span class="u">he should</span> by chance "run short"; He's <span class="u">not the man</span> to pester you +with Petitions. <span class="u">He</span> has a soul above <span class="u">asking for Money</span>.</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 9]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 485px;"> +<img src="images/i_062.png" width="485" height="600" alt="Just so—," title="Just so—,"/> +<span class="caption">Just so—,</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 10]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 390px;"> +<img src="images/i_064.png" width="390" height="600" alt="Ha! Ha! laughed "Somebody", to "the" great danger of the +"Winks"; Of course, and we shouldn't dream of taking such a scamp. We, +Hem, have always drawn Our staff from a very different class, and why +shouldn't we always do so, We are quite satisfied with them, and our +Business, and our Profits are Increasing yearly.——Upon my word said +"Somebody" everything connected with "Our House" gives me unlimited + satisfaction." title="Ha! Ha! laughed "Somebody", to "the" great danger of the +"Winks"; Of course, and we shouldn't dream of taking such a scamp. We, +Hem, have always drawn Our staff from a very different class, and why +shouldn't we always do so, We are quite satisfied with them, and our +Business, and our Profits are Increasing yearly.——Upon my word said +"Somebody" everything connected with "Our House" gives me unlimited + satisfaction."/> +<span class="caption">Ha! Ha! laughed "Somebody", to "the" great danger of the +"Winks"; <span class="u">Of course</span>, and we shouldn't dream of taking such a scamp. <span class="u">We</span>, +Hem, have <span class="u">always</span> drawn <span class="u">Our</span> staff from a <span class="u">very</span> different class, and <span class="u">why</span> +shouldn't we always do so, <span class="u">We</span> are quite satisfied with them, and our +Business, and our Profits are Increasing yearly.——Upon my word said +"Somebody" <span class="u">everything</span> connected with "Our House" gives me unlimited +satisfaction.</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 11]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 414px;"> +<img src="images/i_066.png" width="414" height="600" alt="And you are going to make the satisfaction just a leetle +Mutua; Sir, indeed we ought to thank you very much; Said a new and most +impertinent Essence, who appeared, somewhat prematurely, to have made up +his mind, and so settled the question out of hand." title="And you are going to make the satisfaction just a leetle +Mutua; Sir, indeed we ought to thank you very much; Said a new and most +impertinent Essence, who appeared, somewhat prematurely, to have made up +his mind, and so settled the question out of hand."/> +<span class="caption">And you are going to make the satisfaction just a <span class="u">leetle +Mutual</span>; Sir, indeed we ought to thank you very much; Said a new and most +impertinent Essence, who appeared, somewhat prematurely, to have made up +his mind, and so settled the question out of hand.</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 12]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 471px;"> +<img src="images/i_068.png" width="471" height="800" alt="What do you mean, Sir. We don't require your interference + said "Somebody" (who couldn't encourage that sort of thing). I see they + forgot the Doctor, and no doubt your Wife will go to church. Yes, that + sort of thing does cost something, and you couldn't very well stop her, + no, no. And I see you never spend any money for Conveyance, and you + never have any recreation, or change of air; nothing to help through the + dismal monotony of your 12 days holiday in November or February and you +can't even afford "8 hours at the Sea Side" for the Wife and little + ones. In fact you've no money. no comfort! no Pipe! no Glass! no music! + no Paper! no nothing. + +Well!!! said "Somebody" you're an Extraordinary Man— but I don't believe + you—Now I can understand this. You cannot afford any of these things, that is clear. But Human Nature is frail, and Alas! B.C.s are but Human. + Come, Sir confess at least to some of these iniquities, and then—What +is the consequence?" title="What do you mean, Sir. We don't require your interference + said "Somebody" (who couldn't encourage that sort of thing). I see they + forgot the Doctor, and no doubt your Wife will go to church. Yes, that + sort of thing does cost something, and you couldn't very well stop her, + no, no. And I see you never spend any money for Conveyance, and you + never have any recreation, or change of air; nothing to help through the + dismal monotony of your 12 days holiday in November or February and you +can't even afford "8 hours at the Sea Side" for the Wife and little + ones. In fact you've no money. no comfort! no Pipe! no Glass! no music! + no Paper! no nothing. + +Well!!! said "Somebody" you're an Extraordinary Man— but I don't believe + you—Now I can understand this. You cannot afford any of these things, that is clear. But Human Nature is frail, and Alas! B.C.s are but Human. + Come, Sir confess at least to some of these iniquities, and then—What +is the consequence?"/> +<span class="caption">What do you mean, Sir. We don't require <span class="u">your</span> interference +said "Somebody" (who couldn't encourage that sort of thing). I see they +forgot the Doctor, and no doubt your <span class="u">Wife will go</span> to church. Yes, that +sort of thing does cost <span class="u">something</span>, and you couldn't very well stop her, +no, no. And I see you <span class="u">never</span> spend <span class="u">any money</span> for Conveyance, and you +never have <span class="u">any</span> recreation, or change of air; nothing to help through the +dismal monotony of your 12 days holiday in <span class="u">November</span> or <span class="u">February</span> and you +can't even afford "8 hours at the Sea Side" for the Wife and little +ones. In fact you've no money. <span class="u">no comfort! no Pipe! no Glass! no music! +no Paper! no nothing.</span><br /><br /> + +Well!!! said "Somebody" you're an <span class="u">Extraordinary Man</span>—<span class="u">but I don't believe +you</span>—Now I can <span class="u">understand this</span>. <span class="u">You cannot afford</span> <span class="u">any</span> of these things, +<span class="u">that</span> is clear. But Human Nature is frail, and Alas! B.C.s <span class="u">are but</span> Human. +Come, Sir confess at least <span class="u">to some of these iniquities</span>, and then—<span class="u">What +is the consequence?</span></span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 13]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 573px;"> +<img src="images/i_070.png" width="573" height="600" alt="Why 50 per cent of you get into debt, and you know it +Said "Somebody" do you think you can decieve me? Why its clear that if + you will really make out a list of The Butcher, The Baker, The Water +rate, The Poor Rate!! and the Income Tax (every penny—poor devil) and + all the other luxuries in which you indulge. Why both ends can't meet" title="Why 50 per cent of you get into debt, and you know it +Said "Somebody" do you think you can decieve me? Why its clear that if + you will really make out a list of The Butcher, The Baker, The Water +rate, The Poor Rate!! and the Income Tax (every penny—poor devil) and + all the other luxuries in which you indulge. Why both ends can't meet"/> +<span class="caption">Why 50 per cent of you get into debt, and you know it +Said "Somebody" do you think you can decieve me? Why its clear that if +you will <span class="u">really</span> make out a list of The Butcher, The Baker, The Water +rate, The <span class="u">Poor Rate</span>!! and the Income Tax (every penny—poor devil) and +<span class="u">all the other luxuries in which you indulge</span>. Why both ends <span class="u">can't</span> meet</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 14]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 436px;"> +<img src="images/i_072.png" width="436" height="600" alt="Somebody Somebody, Esquire + +Of course they wont. I've said so before. Give you my Vote and Interest? +Do we wish to conduct our Business on the "Old Clo" principle, like a +Firm of Jew Slopmakers? said "Somebody", getting Indignant, and + dangerously red about the Face—NO! very well. Give you my Vote and +Interest? I always have. Give them again?——(you know young man, this +is all very unofficial—well then) Yes.—I Will" title="Somebody Somebody, Esquire + +Of course they wont. I've said so before. Give you my Vote and Interest? +Do we wish to conduct our Business on the "Old Clo" principle, like a +Firm of Jew Slopmakers? said "Somebody", getting Indignant, and + dangerously red about the Face—NO! very well. Give you my Vote and +Interest? I always have. Give them again?——(you know young man, this +is all very unofficial—well then) Yes.—I Will"/> +<span class="caption">Somebody Somebody, Esquire<br /><br /> + +Of course they wont. I've said so before. Give you my Vote and Interest? +Do we wish to conduct our Business on the "Old Clo" principle, like a +Firm of Jew Slopmakers? said "Somebody", getting Indignant, and +dangerously red about the Face—NO! very well. Give you my Vote and +Interest? <span class="u">I always have.</span> Give them again?——(you know young man, this +is all very unofficial—well then) Yes.—<span class="u">I Will</span></span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 15]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 393px;"> +<img src="images/i_074.png" width="393" height="600" alt="And "Somebody" said "I will" so loudly that he woke +himself up." title="And "Somebody" said "I will" so loudly that he woke +himself up."/> +<span class="caption">And "Somebody" said "I will" so loudly that he woke +himself up.</span> +</div> +<hr class="r45" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"> +<img src="images/i_076.png" width="600" height="936" alt="And "Somebody" who was "Somebody" (may his shadow never + be less) did give his Vote and Interest. And the result, some of it is in my Pocket (long may it stop there) the Result is, that Our House is up to any Amount of Work and will undertake + to beat the Cheap Jacks into Fits +Let us hope the example of "our little Shop" will be catching + +Now then ALLTOGETHER AND SO SAY ALL OF US AND SO SAY ALL OF US FOR HE IS A JOLLY GOOD +SOMEBODY COMING +See him do it! + +Puss in taking leave of his Friends Congratulates them on the Fact that + they know who is OUR "MUTUAL FRIEND" (and it isn't everyone can say +that). In conclusion it is to be hoped that "Nobody" will be the only + person so unfeline as to dream of "PUTTING A STOPPER ON THE CAT'S MEAT"" title="And "Somebody" who was "Somebody" (may his shadow never + be less) did give his Vote and Interest. And the result, some of it is in my Pocket (long may it stop there) the Result is, that Our House is up to any Amount of Work and will undertake + to beat the Cheap Jacks into Fits +Let us hope the example of "our little Shop" will be catching + +Now then ALLTOGETHER AND SO SAY ALL OF US AND SO SAY ALL OF US FOR HE IS A JOLLY GOOD +SOMEBODY COMING +See him do it! + +Puss in taking leave of his Friends Congratulates them on the Fact that + they know who is OUR "MUTUAL FRIEND" (and it isn't everyone can say +that). In conclusion it is to be hoped that "Nobody" will be the only + person so unfeline as to dream of "PUTTING A STOPPER ON THE CAT'S MEAT""/> +<span class="caption">And "Somebody" <span class="u">who was "Somebody"</span> (may his shadow never +be less) <span class="u">did</span> give his Vote and Interest.<br /><br /> + +<span class="u">And the result</span>, some of it is in my Pocket (<span class="u">long may it stop there</span>) the +Result is, that <span class="u">Our House</span> is up to <span class="u">any Amount of Work</span> and will undertake +<span class="u">to beat the Cheap Jacks into Fits</span><br /><br /> + +Let us hope the example of "our little Shop" will be catching<br /><br /> + +Now then ALLTOGETHER<br /> +<big>AND</big> SO SAY ALL OF <big>US</big><br /> +<big>AND</big> SO SAY ALL OF <big>US</big><br /> +<big>FOR HE IS A JOLLY GOOD</big><br /><br /> + +SOMEBODY COMING<br /> +<br /> +See him do it!<br /> +<br /> + +Puss in taking leave of his Friends <span class="u">Congratulates</span> them on the <span class="u">Fact</span> that +<span class="u">they know who is</span> OUR "MUTUAL FRIEND" (and it isn't everyone can say +that). In conclusion it is to be hoped that "Nobody" will be the only +person so <span class="u">unfeline</span> as to dream of<br /><br /> + +<big>"PUTTING A STOPPER ON THE CAT'S MEAT"</big></span> +</div> + +<hr class="r45" /> + +<p><b>Transcriber's Notes</b></p> + +<p>Retained the spelling and punctuation anomalies of the original.<br /><br /> + +Retained the handwritten text in the illustrations for its artistic +and expressive qualities.</p> + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of All (Frightfully Unofficial) about an +Old Friend of mine., by T. C. 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C. Gash + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: All (Frightfully Unofficial) about an Old Friend of mine. + What he most probably was. What he most certainly will be + and who has done this? Why The Cat. + +Author: T. C. Gash + +Release Date: November 18, 2011 [EBook #38050] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALL (FRIGHTFULLY UNOFFICIAL) *** + + + + +Produced by Chris Curnow, Anna Whitehead, Diane Monico, +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + + +ALL +(Frightfully Unofficial) +about an OLD FRIEND of mine + +What he most probably was +What he most certainly will be +AND WHO HAS DONE THIS? + +WHY +THE CAT. + + + + +Dedicated to the Notice +OF ALL +The Firms of this Great City +whether +BANKERS BROKERS OR OTHERS +WHO +In their Rise to Wealth and Affluence +have NOT yet +Recognised the "Generous Policy" That their +Success is always partly Due to the Honesty and +Energy of their +SERVANTS, +AND WHO +After taking to Themselves all the +_HONEY_ in the _HIVE_ +Leave to the +WORKERS +NOTHING +but the Lees. + +"A good Master maketh a good Servant" + + MARTIN TUPPER. + + + + +[Illustration: + +ALL +(Frightfully Unofficial) +about an OLD FRIEND of mine + +What he most probably was +What he most certainly will be +AND WHO HAS DONE THIS? + +WHY +THE CAT.] + + + + +[Illustration: What he most probably was, + +before he became] + + +[Illustration: A General-Private-Joint-Continental-Universal-Everlasting +Respectable-Responsible +BANKERS CLERK. + +During his 1st year of Service + +(Fancies he's got a "good thing")] + + +[Illustration: At 10 years Service, he has his doubts.] + + +[Illustration: This is the BC of 20 years Service--he--_hasn't any +doubts now_. Bless you! He knows _all about it, and_ he's going home! To +his--_Dinner_!!!] + + +[Illustration: HERE IT IS! + +AND ought'nt he to be _thankful_] + + +[Illustration: AT 40, 50, or 150 years Service, _he wonders_ (_ha! ha!_) +Why his old heart may not be eased + +_BY A PENSION_ + +that _he and his_ can live upon, together with a _handsome present_ of +_the remnant of his life_] + + +[Illustration: But he is informed that if he will send in his +_resignation_ _first_, It will be seen what can be done for him + +_Afterwards_ + +"_Is he quite worn out.?_ not another _6 months_? dear me! + +_quite sure?_ Ah!"] + + +[Illustration: This generous proposal does'nt satisfy our greedy old +friend, so he comes up to the scratch as usual + +And he works all day, and he dreams all night] + + +[Illustration: Once he dreamt (silly Old boy) he dreamt] + + +[Illustration: He had an _IDEA_!!! + +(of course it was only a dream.)] + + +[Illustration: (His Dream) + +Why not appeal to his Masters the DIRECTORS they can but say No. they +are Gentlemen, and _they won't eat him_] + + +[Illustration: (His Dream) + +And of cours.--HOORAY!!!! + +The DIRECTORS declare that their _trusted servant_ SHOULD NOT be an +_exception_ to the _Universal Rule_, but that he had risen in value like +everything else AND they further declare, they will not permit, _the man +whose labour increases with their success_, to be _left behind_ by the +butcher, the Baker, or the Candlestick Maker.--_NO_ not to put dividends +into their own pockets, + +_OR ANY OTHER MANS_] + + +[Illustration: (still his dream.) + +And Georgiana-Amelia looks more like the girl he took away from the old +Rectory 20 years ago than he ever hoped to see again + +Why she's getting FAT!, Sir FAT!] + + +[Illustration: (but dreams) + +And so is Tommy' Sir.] + + +[Illustration: (very happy dreams) + +And Georgiana Amelia, Junior.] + + +[Illustration: (Are very very seldom) + +And so Goodbye, Sir Goodbye. No, we _do not_ live at Poplar now--Why, +yes, quite a change. Just so Good bye to you, Sir + +_Hem_--_WE ARE GOING TO CHURCH._] + + +[Illustration: (REALIZED) + +OH! _Are you_.--_You're going to the City_, Old Boy. WHAT!!! _Give you +more pay_--Pooh. Think of the Honorable _Confidence_ your Masters +_cannot help giving you_--Think of that--Very Valuable, Eh. + +_Ah! I should think so_, and you had better wake up those Shakey old +legs of yours, or you'll be _Under the Line_] + + +[Illustration: And one Morning + +_he is_ _Under the Line_] + + +[Illustration: And _THIS is the result of his lifes labour_] + + +[Illustration: + +EXTRAORDINARY COINCIDENCE + +SOME BODY +ELSE + +HAS BEEN DREAMING + +OR + +OUR MUTUAL FRIEND + +BEING + +The FINAL SCRATCHES of + +THE CAT + +WHO + +After this will vanish + +And like the baseless +fabrick of a dream +Leave not a wrack behind] + + +[Illustration: Having attended a Committee of the most exciting and +exhaustive nature "Somebody" indulges in the traditional "40 Winks".] + + +[Illustration: But the Committee hasn't done with him yet--the "Winks" +are disturbed, and the Phantom of a defunct argument, that _He_ settled +long ago, sits itself rudely on the table, in a Makeshifty sort of way +and insists upon having another "go in".] + + +[Illustration: And so he thinks, _He_ thinks! his income is too small; +Why _it's Princely_, said the "Shadowy party" whose own "pull" was about +L20,000 a year, He ought to make it do somehow, and if he don't like it +you can manage without him. + +Now look here, let me show you an Article.] + + +[Illustration: _There!!!_ + +Now I call this cheap.--_There he is_, Salary L40. _and_ white choker +_not_ objected to. (for the matter of that he'll wear plush +or--anything)----Come he's goodlooking. He'll work for you, respect you, +as much as he does himself, be a credit to you, _and_ finally, he's been +in the Pawnbroking line, _says_ _he lives on Oatmeal Porridge--and comes +from the North_ + +(ED NOTE "Puss" who comes fra' the North hersel, is disgusted with the +"Cad", _and does'nt believe him_.] + + +[Illustration: His harmless Pursuits----] + + +[Illustration: And his simple Tastes,----] + + +[Illustration: Will render him at once the _ornament_ and "Prop" of your +Establisment.--] + + +[Illustration: _And_ if in the ingenuous enthusiasm of his _Generous_ +Nature, _he should_ by chance "run short"; He's _not the man_ to pester +you with Petitions. _He_ has a soul above _asking for Money_.] + + +[Illustration: Just so--,] + + +[Illustration: Ha! Ha! laughed "Somebody", to "the" great danger of the +"Winks"; _Of course_, and we shouldn't dream of taking such a scamp. +_We_, Hem, have _always_ drawn _Our_ staff from a _very_ different +class, and _why_ shouldn't we always do so, _We_ are quite satisfied +with them, and our Business, and our Profits are Increasing +yearly.----Upon my word said "Somebody" _everything_ connected with "Our +House" gives me unlimited satisfaction.] + + +[Illustration: And you are going to make the satisfaction just a _leetle +Mutual_; Sir, indeed we ought to thank you very much; Said a new and +most impertinent Essence, who appeared, somewhat prematurely, to have +made up his mind, and so settled the question out of hand.] + + +[Illustration: What do you mean, Sir. We don't require _your_ +interference said "Somebody" (who couldn't encourage that sort of +thing). I see they forgot the Doctor, and no doubt your _Wife will go_ +to church. Yes, that sort of thing does cost _something_, and you +couldn't very well stop her, no, no. And I see you _never_ spend _any +money_ for Conveyance, and you never have _any_ recreation, or change of +air; nothing to help through the dismal monotony of your 12 days holiday +in _November_ or _February_ and you can't even afford "8 hours at the +Sea Side" for the Wife and little ones. In fact you've no money. _no +comfort! no Pipe! no Glass! no music! no Paper! no nothing._ + +Well!!! said "Somebody" you're an _Extraordinary Man_--_but I don't +believe you_--Now I can _understand this_. _You cannot afford_ _any_ of +these things, _that_ is clear. But Human Nature is frail, and Alas! +B.C.s _are but_ Human. Come, Sir confess at least _to some of these +iniquities_, and then--_What is the consequence?_] + + +[Illustration: Why 50 per cent of you get into debt, and you know it +Said "Somebody" do you think you can decieve me? Why its clear that if +you will _really_ make out a list of The Butcher, The Baker, The Water +rate, The _Poor Rate_!! and the Income Tax (every penny--poor devil) and +_all the other luxuries in which you indulge_. Why both ends _can't_ +meet] + + +[Illustration: Somebody Somebody, Esquire + +Of course they wont. I've said so before. Give you my Vote and Interest? +Do we wish to conduct our Business on the "Old Clo" principle, like a +Firm of Jew Slopmakers? said "Somebody", getting Indignant, and +dangerously red about the Face--NO! very well. Give you my Vote and +Interest? _I always have._ Give them again?----(you know young man, this +is all very unofficial--well then) Yes.--_I Will_] + + +[Illustration: And "Somebody" said "I will" so loudly that he woke +himself up.] + + +[Illustration: And "Somebody" _who was "Somebody"_ (may his shadow never +be less) _did_ give his Vote and Interest. + +_And the result_, some of it is in my Pocket (_long may it stop there_) +the Result is, that _Our House_ is up to _any Amount of Work_ and will +undertake _to beat the Cheap Jacks into Fits_ + +Let us hope the example of "our little Shop" will be catching + +Now then ALLTOGETHER + AND SO SAY ALL OF US + AND SO SAY ALL OF US +FOR HE IS A JOLLY GOOD + +SOMEBODY COMING + +See him do it! + +Puss in taking leave of his Friends _Congratulates_ them on the _Fact_ +that _they know who is_ OUR "MUTUAL FRIEND" (and it isn't everyone can +say that). In conclusion it is to be hoped that "Nobody" will be the +only person so _unfeline_ as to dream of + +"PUTTING A STOPPER ON THE CAT'S MEAT"] + + * * * * * + +Transcriber's Notes + +Retained the spelling and punctuation anomalies of the original. + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of All (Frightfully Unofficial) about an +Old Friend of mine., by T. C. 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