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diff --git a/old/mstlb10.txt b/old/mstlb10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..455e320 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/mstlb10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1444 @@ +Project Gutenberg Etext of The Mistletoe Bough, by Anthony Trollope +#25 in our series by Anthony Trollope + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the laws for your country before redistributing these files!!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. + +Please do not remove this. + +This should be the first thing seen when anyone opens the book. +Do not change or edit it without written permission. 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"It only means romping. +To me all that is detestable, and I am sure it is not the sort of +thing that Miss Holmes would like." + +"We always had it at Christmas when we were young." + +"But, mamma, the world is so changed." + +The point in dispute was one very delicate in its nature, hardly to +be discussed in all its bearings, even in fiction, and the very +mention of which between mother and daughter showed a great amount +of close confidence between them. It was no less than this. Should +that branch of mistletoe which Frank Garrow had brought home with +him out of the Lowther woods be hung up on Christmas Eve in the +dining-room at Thwaite Hall, according to his wishes; or should +permission for such hanging be positively refused? It was clearly a +thing not to be done after such a discussion, and therefore the +decision given by Mrs. Garrow was against it. + +I am inclined to think that Miss Garrow was right in saying that the +world is changed as touching mistletoe boughs. Kissing, I fear, is +less innocent now than it used to be when our grand-mothers were +alive, and we have become more fastidious in our amusements. +Nevertheless, I think that she made herself fairly open to the +raillery with which her brothers attacked her. + +"Honi soit qui mal y pense," said Frank, who was eighteen. + +"Nobody will want to kiss you, my lady Fineairs," said Harry, who +was just a year younger. + +"Because you choose to be a Puritan, there are to be no more cakes +and ale in the house," said Frank. + +"Still waters run deep; we all know that," said Harry. + +The boys had not been present when the matter was decided between +Mrs. Garrow and her daughter, nor had the mother been present when +these little amenities had passed between the brothers and sister. + +"Only that mamma has said it, and I wouldn't seem to go against +her," said Frank, "I'd ask my father. He wouldn't give way to such +nonsense, I know." + +Elizabeth turned away without answering, and left the room. Her +eyes were full of tears, but she would not let them see that they +had vexed her. They were only two days home from school, and for +the last week before their coming, all her thoughts had been to +prepare for their Christmas pleasures. She had arranged their +rooms, making everything warm and pretty. Out of her own pocket she +had bought a shot-belt for one, and skates for the other. She had +told the old groom that her pony was to belong exclusively to Master +Harry for the holidays, and now Harry told her that still waters ran +deep. She had been driven to the use of all her eloquence in +inducing her father to purchase that gun for Frank, and now Frank +called her a Puritan. And why? She did not choose that a mistletoe +bough should be hung in her father's hall, when Godfrey Holmes was +coming to visit him. She could not explain this to Frank, but Frank +might have had the wit to understand it. But Frank was thinking +only of Patty Coverdale, a blue-eyed little romp of sixteen, who, +with her sister Kate, was coming from Penrith to spend the Christmas +at Thwaite Hall. Elizabeth left the room with her slow, graceful +step, hiding her tears,--hiding all emotion, as latterly she had +taught herself that it was feminine to do. "There goes my lady +Fineairs," said Harry, sending his shrill voice after her. + +Thwaite Hall was not a place of much pretension. It was a moderate- +sized house, surrounded by pretty gardens and shrubberies, close +down upon the river Eamont, on the Westmoreland side of the river, +looking over to a lovely wooded bank in Cumberland. All the world +knows that the Eamont runs out of Ulleswater, dividing the two +counties, passing under Penrith Bridge and by the old ruins of +Brougham Castle, below which it joins the Eden. Thwaite Hall +nestled down close upon the clear rocky stream about half way +between Ulleswater and Penrith, and had been built just at a bend of +the river. The windows of the dining-parlour and of the drawing- +room stood at right angles to each other, and yet each commanded a +reach of the stream. Immediately from a side of the house steps +were cut down through the red rock to the water's edge, and here a +small boat was always moored to a chain. The chain was stretched +across the river, fixed to the staples driven into the rock on +either side, and the boat was pulled backwards and forwards over the +stream without aid from oars or paddles. From the opposite side a +path led through the woods and across the fields to Penrith, and +this was the route commonly used between Thwaite Hall and the town. + +Major Garrow was a retired officer of Engineers, who had seen +service in all parts of the world, and who was now spending the +evening of his days on a small property which had come to him from +his father. He held in his own hands about twenty acres of land, +and he was the owner of one small farm close by, which was let to a +tenant. That, together with his half-pay, and the interest of his +wife's thousand pounds, sufficed to educate his children and keep +the wolf at a comfortable distance from his door. He himself was a +spare thin man, with quiet, lazy, literary habits. He had done the +work of life, but had so done it as to permit of his enjoying that +which was left to him. His sole remaining care was the +establishment of his children; and, as far as he could see, he had +no ground for anticipating disappointment. They were clever, good- +looking, well-disposed young people, and upon the whole it may be +said that the sun shone brightly on Thwaite Hall. Of Mrs. Garrow it +may suffice to say that she always deserved such sunshine. + +For years past it had been the practice of the family to have some +sort of gathering at Thwaite Hall during Christmas. Godfrey Holmes +had been left under the guardianship of Major Garrow, and, as he had +always spent his Christmas holidays with his guardian, this, +perhaps, had given rise to the practice. Then the Coverdales were +cousins of the Garrows, and they had usually been there as children. +At the Christmas last past the custom had been broken, for young +Holmes had been abroad. Previous to that, they had all been +children, excepting him. But now that they were to meet again, they +were no longer children. Elizabeth, at any rate, was not so, for +she had already counted nineteen winters. And Isabella Holmes was +coming. Now Isabella was two years older than Elizabeth, and had +been educated in Brussels; moreover she was comparatively a stranger +at Thwaite Hall, never having been at those early Christmas +meetings. + +And now I must take permission to begin my story by telling a lady's +secret. Elizabeth Garrow had already been in love with Godfrey +Holmes, or perhaps it might be more becoming to say that Godfrey +Holmes had already been in love with her. They had already been +engaged; and, alas! they had already agreed that that engagement +should be broken off! + +Young Holmes was now twenty-seven years of age, and was employed in +a bank at Liverpool, not as a clerk, but as assistant-manager, with +a large salary. He was a man well to do in the world, who had money +also of his own, and who might well afford to marry. Some two years +since, on the eve of leaving Thwaite Hall, he had with low doubting +whisper told Elizabeth that he loved her, and she had flown +trembling to her mother. "Godfrey, my boy," the father said to him, +as he parted with him the next morning, "Bessy is only a child, and +too young to think of this yet." At the next Christmas Godfrey was +in Italy, and the thing was gone by,--so at least the father and +mother said to each other. But the young people had met in the +summer, and one joyful letter had come from the girl home to her +mother. "I have accepted him. Dearest, dearest mamma, I do love +him. But don't tell papa yet, for I have not quite accepted him. I +think I am sure, but I am not quite sure. I am not quite sure about +him." + +And then, two days after that, there had come a letter that was not +at all joyful. "Dearest Mamma,--It is not to be. It is not written +in the book. We have both agreed that it will not do. I am so glad +that you have not told dear papa, for I could never make him +understand. You will understand, for I shall tell you everything, +down to his very words. But we have agreed that there shall be no +quarrel. It shall be exactly as it was, and he will come at +Christmas all the same. It would never do that he and papa should +be separated, nor could we now put off Isabella. It is better so in +every way, for there is and need be no quarrel. We still like each +other. I am sure I like him, but I know that I should not make him +happy as his wife. He says it is my fault. I, at any rate, have +never told him that I thought it his." From all which it will be +seen that the confidence between the mother and daughter was very +close. + +Elizabeth Garrow was a very good girl, but it might almost be a +question whether she was not too good. She had learned, or thought +that she had learned, that most girls are vapid, silly, and +useless,--given chiefly to pleasure-seeking and a hankering after +lovers; and she had resolved that she would not be such a one. + +Industry, self-denial, and a religious purpose in life, were the +tasks which she set herself; and she went about the performance of +them with much courage. But such tasks, though they are excellently +well adapted to fit a young lady for the work of living, may also be +carried too far, and thus have the effect of unfitting her for that +work. When Elizabeth Garrow made up her mind that the finding of a +husband was not the only purpose of life, she did very well. It is +very well that a young lady should feel herself capable of going +through the world happily without one. But in teaching herself this +she also taught herself to think that there was a certain merit in +refusing herself the natural delight of a lover, even though the +possession of the lover were compatible with all her duties to +herself, her father and mother, and the world at large. It was not +that she had determined to have no lover. She made no such resolve, +and when the proper lover came he was admitted to her heart. But +she declared to herself unconsciously that she must put a guard upon +herself, lest she should be betrayed into weakness by her own +happiness. She had resolved that in loving her lord she would not +worship him, and that in giving her heart she would only so give it +as it should be given to a human creature like herself. She had +acted on these high resolves, and hence it had come to pass,--not +unnaturally,--that Mr. Godfrey Holmes had told her that it was "her +fault." + +She was a pretty, fair girl, with soft dark-brown hair, and soft +long dark eyelashes. Her grey eyes, though quiet in their tone, +were tender and lustrous. Her face was oval, and the lines of her +cheek and chin perfect in their symmetry. She was generally quiet +in her demeanour, but when moved she could rouse herself to great +energy, and speak with feeling and almost with fire. Her fault was +a reverence for martyrdom in general, and a feeling, of which she +was unconscious, that it became a young woman to be unhappy in +secret;--that it became a young woman, I might rather say, to have a +source of unhappiness hidden from the world in general, and endured +without any detriment to her outward cheerfulness. We know the +story of the Spartan boy who held the fox under his tunic. The fox +was biting into him,--into the very entrails; but the young hero +spake never a word. Now Bessy Garrow was inclined to think that it +was a good thing to have a fox always biting, so that the torment +caused no ruffling to her outward smiles. Now at this moment the +fox within her bosom was biting her sore enough, but she bore it +without flinching. + +"If you would rather that he should not come I will have it +arranged," her mother had said to her. + +"Not for worlds," she had answered. "I should never think well of +myself again." + +Her mother had changed her own mind more than once as to the conduct +in this matter which might be best for her to follow, thinking +solely of her daughter's welfare. "If he comes they will be +reconciled, and she will be happy," had been her first idea. But +then there was a stern fixedness of purpose in Bessy's words when +she spoke of Mr. Holmes, which had expelled this hope, and Mrs. +Garrow had for a while thought it better that the young man should +not come. But Bessy would not permit this. It would vex her +father, put out of course the arrangements of other people, and +display weakness on her own part. He should come, and she would +endure without flinching while the fox gnawed at her. + +That battle of the mistletoe had been fought on the morning before +Christmas-day, and the Holmeses came on Christmas-eve. Isabella was +comparatively a stranger, and therefore received at first the +greater share of attention. She and Elizabeth had once seen each +other, and for the last year or two had corresponded, but personally +they had never been intimate. Unfortunately for the latter, that +story of Godfrey's offer and acceptance had been communicated to +Isabella, as had of course the immediately subsequent story of their +separation. But now it would be almost impossible to avoid the +subject in conversation. "Dearest Isabella, let it be as though it +had never been," she had said in one of her letters. But sometimes +it is very difficult to let things be as though they had never been. + +The first evening passed over very well. The two Coverdale girls +were there, and there had been much talking and merry laughter, +rather juvenile in its nature, but on the whole none the worse for +that. Isabella Holmes was a fine, tall, handsome girl; good- +humoured, and well disposed to be pleased; rather Frenchified in her +manners, and quite able to take care of herself. But she was not +above round games, and did not turn up her nose at the boys. +Godfrey behaved himself excellently, talking much to the Major, but +by no means avoiding Miss Garrow. Mrs. Garrow, though she had known +him since he was a boy, had taken an aversion to him since he had +quarrelled with her daughter; but there was no room on this first +night for showing such aversion, and everything went off well. + +"Godfrey is very much improved," the Major said to his wife that +night. + +"Do you think so?" + +"Indeed I do. He has filled out and become a fine man." + +"In personal appearance, you mean. Yes, he is well-looking enough." + +"And in his manner, too. He is doing uncommonly well in Liverpool, +I can tell you; and if he should think of Bessy--" + +"There is nothing of that sort," said Mrs. Garrow. + +"He did speak to me, you know,--two years ago. Bessy was too young +then, and so indeed was he. But if she likes him--" + +"I don't think she does." + +"Then there's an end of it." And so they went to bed. + +"Frank," said the sister to her elder brother, knocking at his door +when they had all gone up stairs, "may I come in,--if you are not in +bed?" + +"In bed," said he, looking up with some little pride from his Greek +book; "I've one hundred and fifty lines to do before I can get to +bed. It'll be two, I suppose. I've got to mug uncommon hard these +holidays. I have only one more half, you know, and then--" + +"Don't overdo it, Frank." + +"No; I won't overdo it. I mean to take one day a week, and work +eight hours a day on the other five. That will be forty hours a +week, and will give me just two hundred hours for the holidays. I +have got it all down here on a table. That will be a hundred and +five for Greek play, forty for Algebra--" and so he explained to her +the exact destiny of all his long hours of proposed labour. He had +as yet been home a day and a half, and had succeeded in drawing out +with red lines and blue figures the table which he showed her. "If +I can do that, it will be pretty well; won't it?" + +"But, Frank, you have come home for your holidays,--to enjoy +yourself?" + +"But a fellow must work now-a-days." + +"Don't overdo it, dear; that's all. But, Frank, I could not rest if +I went to bed without speaking to you. You made me unhappy to-day." + +"Did I, Bessy?" + +"You called me a Puritan, and then you quoted that ill-natured +French proverb at me. Do you really believe your sister thinks +evil, Frank?" and as she spoke she put her arm caressingly round his +neck. + +"Of course I don't." + +"Then why say so? Harry is so much younger and so thoughtless that +I can bear what he says without so much suffering. But if you and I +are not friends I shall be very wretched. If you knew how I have +looked forward to your coming home!" + +"I did not mean to vex you, and I won't say such things again." + +"That's my own Frank. What I said to mamma, I said because I +thought it right; but you must not say that I am a Puritan. I would +do anything in my power to make your holidays bright and pleasant. +I know that boys require so much more to amuse them than girls do. +Good night, dearest; pray don't overdo yourself with work, and do +take care of your eyes." + +So saying she kissed him and went her way. In twenty minutes after +that, he had gone to sleep over his book; and when he woke up to +find the candle guttering down, he resolved that he would not begin +his measured hours till Christmas-day was fairly over. + +The morning of Christmas-day passed very quietly. They all went to +church, and then sat round the fire chatting until the four o'clock +dinner was ready. The Coverdale girls thought it was rather more +dull than former Thwaite Hall festivities, and Frank was seen to +yawn. But then everybody knows that the real fun of Christmas never +begins till the day itself be passed. The beef and pudding are +ponderous, and unless there be absolute children in the party, there +is a difficulty in grafting any special afternoon amusements on the +Sunday pursuits of the morning. In the evening they were to have a +dance; that had been distinctly promised to Patty Coverdale; but the +dance would not commence till eight. The beef and pudding were +ponderous, but with due efforts they were overcome and disappeared. +The glass of port was sipped, the almonds and raisins were nibbled, +and then the ladies left the room. Ten minutes after that Elizabeth +found herself seated with Isabella Holmes over the fire in her +father's little book-room. It was not by her that this meeting was +arranged, for she dreaded such a constrained confidence; but of +course it could not be avoided, and perhaps it might be as well now +as hereafter. + +"Bessy," said the elder girl, "I am dying to be alone with you for a +moment." + +"Well, you shall not die; that is, if being alone with me will save +you." + +"I have so much to say to you. And if you have any true friendship +in you, you also will have so much to say to me." + +Miss Garrow perhaps had no true friendship in her at that moment, +for she would gladly have avoided saying anything, had that been +possible. But in order to prove that she was not deficient in +friendship, she gave her friend her hand. + +"And now tell me everything about Godfrey," said Isabella. + +"Dear Bella, I have nothing to tell;--literally nothing." + +"That is nonsense. Stop a moment, dear, and understand that I do +not mean to offend you. It cannot be that you have nothing to tell, +if you choose to tell it. You are not the girl to have accepted +Godfrey without loving him, nor is he the man to have asked you +without loving you. When you write me word that you have changed +your mind, as you might about a dress, of course I know you have not +told me all. Now I insist upon knowing it,--that is, if we are to +be friends. I would not speak a word to Godfrey till I had seen +you, in order that I might hear your story first." + +"Indeed, Bella, there is no story to tell." + +"Then I must ask him." + +"If you wish to play the part of a true friend to me, you will let +the matter pass by and say nothing. You must understand that, +circumstanced as we are, your brother's visit here,--what I mean is, +that it is very difficult for me to act and speak exactly as I +should do, and a few unfortunate words spoken may make my position +unendurable." + +"Will you answer me one question?" + +"I cannot tell. I think I will." + +"Do you love him?" For a moment or two Bessy remained silent, +striving to arrange her words so that they should contain no +falsehood, and yet betray no truth. "Ah, I see you do," continued +Miss Holmes. "But of course you do. Why else did you accept him?" + +"I fancied that I did, as young ladies do sometimes fancy." + +"And will you say that you do not, now?" Again Bessy was silent, +and then her friend rose from her seat. "I see it all," she said. +"What a pity it was that you both had not some friend like me by you +at the time! But perhaps it may not be too late." + +I need not repeat at length all the protestations which upon this +were poured forth with hot energy by poor Bessy. She endeavoured to +explain how great had been the difficulty of her position. This +Christmas visit had been arranged before that unhappy affair at +Liverpool had occurred. Isabella's visit had been partly one of +business, it being necessary that certain money affairs should be +arranged between her, her brother, and the Major. "I determined," +said Bessy, "not to let my feelings stand in the way; and hoped that +things might settle down to their former friendly footing. I +already fear that I have been wrong, but it will be ungenerous in +you to punish me." Then she went on to say that if anybody +attempted to interfere with her, she should at once go away to her +mother's sister, who lived at Hexham, in Northumberland. + +Then came the dance, and the hearts of Kate and Patty Coverdale were +at last happy. But here again poor Bessy was made to understand how +terribly difficult was this experiment of entertaining on a footing +of friendship a lover with whom she had quarrelled only a month or +two before. That she must as a necessity become the partner of +Godfrey Holmes she had already calculated, and so much she was +prepared to endure. Her brothers would of course dance with the +Coverdale girls, and her father would of course stand up with +Isabella. There was no other possible arrangement, at any rate as a +beginning. + +She had schooled herself, too, as to the way in which she would +speak to him on the occasion, and how she would remain mistress of +herself and of her thoughts. But when the time came the difficulty +was almost too much for her. + +"You do not care much for dancing, if I remember?" said he. + +"Oh yes, I do. Not as Patty Coverdale does. It's a passion with +her. But then I am older than Patty Coverdale." After that he was +silent for a minute or two. + +"It seems so odd to me to be here again," he said. It was odd;--she +felt that it was odd. But he ought not to have said so. + +"Two years make a great difference. The boys have grown so much." + +"Yes, and there are other things," said he. + +"Bella was never here before; at least not with you." + +"No. But I did not exactly mean that. All that would not make the +place so strange. But your mother seems altered to me. She used to +be almost like my own mother." + +"I suppose she finds that you are a more formidable person as you +grow older. It was all very well scolding you when you were a clerk +in the bank, but it does not do to scold the manager. These are the +penalties men pay for becoming great." + +"It is not my greatness that stands in my way, but--" + +"Then I'm sure I cannot say what it is. But Patty will scold you if +you do not mind the figure, though you were the whole Board of +Directors packed into one. She won't respect you if you neglect +your present work." + +When Bessy went to bed that night she began to feel that she had +attempted too much. "Mamma," she said, "could I not make some +excuse and go away to Aunt Mary?" + +"What now?" + +"Yes, mamma; now; to-morrow. I need not say that it will make me +very unhappy to be away at such a time, but I begin to think that it +will be better." + +"What will papa say?" + +"You must tell him all." + +"And Aunt Mary must be told also. You would not like that. Has he +said anything?" + +"No, nothing;--very little, that is. But Bella has spoken to me. +Oh, mamma, I think we have been very wrong in this. That is, I have +been wrong. I feel as though I should disgrace myself, and turn the +whole party here into a misfortune." + +It would be dreadful, that telling of the story to her father and to +her aunt, and such a necessity must, if possible, be avoided. +Should such a necessity actually come, the former task would, no +doubt, be done by her mother, but that would not lighten the load +materially. After a fortnight she would again meet her father, and +would be forced to discuss it. "I will remain if it be possible," +she said; "but, mamma, if I wish to go, you will not stop me?" Her +mother promised that she would not stop her, but strongly advised +her to stand her ground. + +On the following morning, when she came down stairs before +breakfast, she found Frank standing in the hall with his gun, of +which he was trying the lock. "It is not loaded, is it, Frank?" +said she. + +"Oh dear, no; no one thinks of loading now-a-days till he has got +out of the house. Directly after breakfast I am going across with +Godfrey to the back of Greystock, to see after some moor-fowl. He +asked me to go, and I couldn't well refuse." + +"Of course not. Why should you?" + +"It will be deuced hard work to make up the time. I was to have +been up at four this morning, but that alarum went off and never +woke me. However, I shall be able to do something to-night." + +"Don't make a slavery of your holidays, Frank. What's the good of +having a new gun if you're not to use it?" + +"It's not the new gun. I'm not such a child as that comes to. But, +you see, Godfrey is here, and one ought to be civil to him. I'll +tell you what I want you girls to do, Bessy. You must come and meet +us on our way home. Come over in the boat and along the path to the +Patterdale road. We'll be there under the hill about five." + +"And if you are not, we are to wait in the snow?" + +"Don't make difficulties, Bessy. I tell you we will be there. We +are to go in the cart, and so shall have plenty of time." + +"And how do you know the other girls will go?" + +"Why, to tell you the truth, Patty Coverdale has promised. As for +Miss Holmes, if she won't, why you must leave her at home with +mamma. But Kate and Patty can't come without you." + +"Your discretion has found that out, has it?" + +"They say so. But you will come; won't you, Bessy? As for waiting, +it's all nonsense. Of course you can walk on. But we'll be at the +stile by five. I've got my watch, you know." And then Bessy +promised him. What would she not have done for him that was in her +power to do? + +"Go! Of course I'll go," said Miss Holmes. "I'm up to anything. +I'd have gone with them this morning, and have taken a gun if they'd +asked me. But, by-the-bye, I'd better not." + +"Why not?" said Patty, who was hardly yet without fear lest +something should mar the expedition. + +"What will three gentlemen do with four ladies?" + +"Oh, I forgot," said Patty innocently. + +"I'm sure I don't care," said Kate; "you may have Harry if you +like." + +"Thank you for nothing," said Miss Holmes. "I want one for myself. +It's all very well for you to make the offer, but what should I do +if Harry wouldn't have me? There are two sides, you know, to every +bargain." + +"I'm sure he isn't anything to me," said Kate. "Why, he's not quite +seventeen years old yet!" + +"Poor boy! What a shame to dispose of him so soon. We'll let him +off for a year or two; won't we, Miss Coverdale? But as there seems +by acknowledgment to be one beau with unappropriated services--" + +"I'm sure I have appropriated nobody," said Patty, "and didn't +intend." + +"Godfrey, then, is the only knight whose services are claimed," said +Miss Holmes, looking at Bessy. Bessy made no immediate answer with +either her eyes or tongue; but when the Coverdales were gone, she +took her new friend to task. + +"How can you fill those young girls' heads with such nonsense?" + +"Nature has done that, my dear." + +"But nature should be trained; should it not? You will make them +think that those foolish boys are in love with them." + +"The foolish boys, as you call them, will look after that +themselves. It seems to me that the foolish boys know what they are +about better than some of their elders." And then, after a moment's +pause, she added, "As for my brother, I have no patience with him." + +"Pray do not discuss your brother," said Bessy. "And, Bella, unless +you wish to drive me away, pray do not speak of him and me together +as you did just now." + +"Are you so bad as that,--that the slightest commonplace joke upsets +you? Would not his services be due to you as a matter of course? +If you are so sore about it, you will betray your own secret." + +"I have no secret,--none at least from you, or from mamma; and, +indeed, none from him. We were both very foolish, thinking that we +knew each other and our own hearts, when we knew neither." + +"I hate to hear people talk of knowing their hearts. My idea is, +that if you like a young man, and he asks you to marry him, you +ought to have him. That is, if there is enough to live on. I don't +know what more is wanted. But girls are getting to talk and think +as though they were to send their hearts through some fiery furnace +of trial before they may give them up to a husband's keeping. I am +not at all sure that the French fashion is not the best, and that +these things shouldn't be managed by the fathers and mothers, or +perhaps by the family lawyers. Girls who are so intent upon knowing +their own hearts generally end by knowing nobody's heart but their +own; and then they die old maids." + +"Better that than give themselves to the keeping of those they don't +know and cannot esteem." + +"That's a matter of taste. I mean to take the first that comes, so +long as he looks like a gentleman, and has not less than eight +hundred a year. Now Godfrey does look like a gentleman, and has +double that. If I had such a chance I shouldn't think twice about +it." + +"But I have no such chance." + +"That's the way the wind blows; is it?" + +"No, no. Oh, Bella, pray, pray leave me alone. Pray do not +interfere. There is no wind blowing in any way. All that I want is +your silence and your sympathy." + +"Very well. I will be silent and sympathetic as the grave. Only +don't imagine that I am cold as the grave also. I don't exactly +appreciate your ideas; but if I can do no good, I will at any rate +endeavour to do no harm." + +After lunch, at about three, they started on their walk, and managed +to ferry themselves over the river. "Oh, do let me, Bessy," said +Kate Coverdale. "I understand all about it. Look here, Miss +Holmes. You pull the chain through your hands--" + +"And inevitably tear your gloves to pieces," said Miss Holmes. Kate +certainly had done so, and did not seem to be particularly well +pleased with the accident. "There's a nasty nail in the chain," she +said. "I wonder those stupid boys did not tell us." + +Of course they reached the trysting-place much too soon, and were +very tired of walking up and down to keep their feet warm, before +the sportsmen came up. But this was their own fault, seeing that +they had reached the stile half an hour before the time fixed. + +"I never will go anywhere to meet gentlemen again," said Miss +Holmes. "It is most preposterous that ladies should be left in the +snow for an hour. Well, young men, what sport have you had?" + +"I shot the big black cock," said Harry. + +"Did you indeed?" said Kate Coverdale. + +"And here are the feathers out of his tail for you. He dropped them +in the water, and I had to go in after them up to my middle. But I +told you that I would, so I was determined to get them." + +"Oh, you silly, silly boy," said Kate. "But I'll keep them for +ever. I will indeed." This was said a little apart, for Harry had +managed to draw the young lady aside before he presented the +feathers. + +Frank had also his trophies for Patty, and the tale to tell of his +own prowess. In that he was a year older than his brother, he was +by a year's growth less ready to tender his present to his lady- +love, openly in the presence of them all. But he found his +opportunity, and then he and Patty went on a little in advance. +Kate also was deep in her consolations to Harry for his ducking; and +therefore the four disposed of themselves in the manner previously +suggested by Miss Holmes. Miss Holmes, therefore, and her brother, +and Bessy Garrow, were left together in the path, and discussed the +performances of the day in a manner that elicited no very ecstatic +interest. So they walked for a mile, and by degrees the +conversation between them dwindled down almost to nothing. + +"There is nothing I dislike so much as coming out with people +younger than myself," said Miss Holmes. "One always feels so old +and dull. Listen to those children there; they make me feel as +though I were an old maiden aunt, brought out with them to do +propriety." + +"Patty won't at all approve if she hears you call her a child." + +"Nor shall I approve, if she treats me like an old woman," and then +she stepped on and joined the children. "I wouldn't spoil even +their sport if I could help it," she said to herself. "But with +them I shall only be a temporary nuisance; if I remain behind I +shall become a permanent evil." And thus Bessy and her old lover +were left by themselves. + +"I hope you will get on well with Bella," said Godfrey, when they +had remained silent for a minute or two. + +"Oh, yes. She is so good-natured and light-spirited that everybody +must like her. She has been used to so much amusement and active +life, that I know she must find it very dull here." + +"She is never dull anywhere,--even at Liverpool, which, for a young +lady, I sometimes think the dullest place on earth. I know it is +for a man." + +"A man who has work to do can never be dull; can he?" + +"Indeed he can; as dull as death. I am so often enough. I have +never been very bright there, Bessy, since you left us." + +There was nothing in his calling her Bessy, for it had become a +habit with him since they were children; and they had formerly +agreed that everything between them should be as it had been before +that foolish whisper of love had been spoken and received. Indeed, +provision had been made by them specially on this point, so that +there need be no awkwardness in this mode of addressing each other. +Such provision had seemed to be very prudent, but it hardly had the +desired effect on the present occasion. + +"I hardly know what you mean by brightness," she said, after a +pause. "Perhaps it is not intended that people's lives should be +what you call bright." + +"Life ought to be as bright as we can make it." + +"It all depends on the meaning of the word. I suppose we are not +very bright here at Thwaite Hall, but yet we think ourselves very +happy." + +"I am sure you are," said Godfrey. "I very often think of you +here." + +"We always think of places where we have been when we were young," +said Bessy; and then again they walked on for some way in silence, +and Bessy began to increase her pace with the view of catching the +children. The present walk to her was anything but bright, and she +bethought herself with dismay that there were still two miles before +she reached the Ferry. + +"Bessy," Godfrey said at last. And then he stopped as though he +were doubtful how to proceed. She, however, did not say a word, but +walked on quickly, as though her only hope was in catching the party +before her. But they also were walking quickly, for Bella was +determined that she would not be caught. + +"Bessy, I must speak to you once of what passed between us at +Liverpool." + +"Must you?" said she. + +"Unless you positively forbid it." + +"Stop, Godfrey," she said. And they did stop in the path, for now +she no longer thought of putting an end to her embarrassment by +overtaking her companions. "If any such words are necessary for +your comfort, it would hardly become me to forbid them. Were I to +speak so harshly you would accuse me afterwards in your own heart. +It must be for you to judge whether it is well to reopen a wound +that is nearly healed." + +"But with me it is not nearly healed. The wound is open always." + +"There are some hurts," she said, "which do not admit of an absolute +and perfect cure, unless after long years." As she said so, she +could not but think how much better was his chance of such perfect +cure than her own. With her,--so she said to herself,--such curing +was all but impossible; whereas with him, it was as impossible that +the injury should last. + +"Bessy," he said, and he again stopped her on the narrow path, +standing immediately before her on the way, "you remember all the +circumstances that made us part?" + +"Yes; I think I remember them." + +"And you still think that we were right to part?" + +She paused for a moment before she answered him; but it was only for +a moment, and then she spoke quite firmly. "Yes, Godfrey, I do; I +have thought about it much since then. I have thought, I fear, to +no good purpose about aught else. But I have never thought that we +had been unwise in that." + +"And yet I think you loved me." + +"I am bound to confess I did so, as otherwise I must confess myself +a liar. I told you at the time that I loved you, and I told you so +truly. But it is better, ten times better, that those who love +should part, even though they still should love, than that two +should be joined together who are incapable of making each other +happy. Remember what you told me." + +"I do remember." + +"You found yourself unhappy in your engagement, and you said it was +my fault." + +"Bessy, there is my hand. If you have ceased to love me, there is +an end of it. But if you love me still, let all that be forgotten." + +"Forgotten, Godfrey! How can it be forgotten? You were unhappy, +and it was my fault. My fault, as it would be if I tried to solace +a sick child with arithmetic, or feed a dog with grass. I had no +right to love you, knowing you as I did; and knowing also that my +ways would not be your ways. My punishment I understand, and it is +not more than I can bear; but I had hoped that your punishment would +have been soon over." + +"You are too proud, Bessy." + +"That is very likely. Frank says that I am a Puritan, and pride was +the worst of their sins." + +"Too proud and unbending. In marriage should not the man and woman +adapt themselves to each other?" + +"When they are married, yes. And every girl who thinks of marrying +should know that in very much she must adapt herself to her husband. +But I do not think that a woman should be the ivy, to take the +direction of every branch of the tree to which she clings. If she +does so, what can be her own character? But we must go on, or we +shall be too late." + +"And you will give me no other answer?" + +"None other, Godfrey. Have you not just now, at this very moment, +told me that I was too proud? Can it be possible that you should +wish to tie yourself for life to female pride? And if you tell me +that now, at such a moment as this, what would you tell me in the +close intimacy of married life, when the trifles of every day would +have worn away the courtesies of guest and lover?" + +There was a sharpness of rebuke in this which Godfrey Holmes could +not at the moment overcome. Nevertheless he knew the girl, and +understood the workings of her heart and mind. Now, in her present +state, she could be unbending, proud, and almost rough. In that she +had much to lose in declining the renewed offer which he made her, +she would, as it were, continually prompt herself to be harsh and +inflexible. Had he been poor, had she not loved him, had not all +good things seemed to have attended the promise of such a marriage, +she would have been less suspicious of herself in receiving the +offer, and more gracious in replying to it. Had he lost all his +money before he came back to her, she would have taken him at once; +or had he been deprived of an eye, or become crippled in his legs, +she would have done so. But, circumstanced as he was, she had no +motive to tenderness. There was an organic defect in her character, +which no doubt was plainly marked by its own bump in her cranium,-- +the bump of philomartyrdom, it might properly be called. She had +shipwrecked her own happiness in rejecting Godfrey Holmes; but it +seemed to her to be the proper thing that a well-behaved young lady +should shipwreck her own happiness. For the last month or two she +had been tossed about by the waters and was nearly drowned. Now +there was beautiful land again close to her, and a strong pleasant +hand stretched out to save her. But though she had suffered +terribly among the waves, she still thought it wrong to be saved. +It would be so pleasant to take that hand, so sweet, so joyous, that +it surely must be wrong. That was her doctrine; and Godfrey Holmes, +though he hardly analysed the matter, partly understood that it was +so. And yet, if once she were landed on that green island, she +would be so happy. She spoke with scorn of a woman clinging to a +tree like ivy; and yet, were she once married, no woman would cling +to her husband with sweeter feminine tenacity than Bessy Garrow. He +spoke no further word to her as he walked home, but in handing her +down to the ferry-boat he pressed her hand. For a second it seemed +as though she had returned this pressure. If so, the action was +involuntary, and her hand instantly resumed its stiffness to his +touch. + +It was late that night when Major Garrow went to his bedroom, but +his wife was still up, waiting for him. "Well," said she, "what has +he said to you? He has been with you above an hour." + +"Such stories are not very quickly told; and in this case it was +necessary to understand him very accurately. At length I think I do +understand him." + +It is not necessary to repeat at length all that was said on that +night between Major and Mrs. Garrow, as to the offer which had now +for a third time been made to their daughter. On that evening, +after the ladies had gone, and when the two boys had taken +themselves off, Godfrey Holmes told his tale to his host, and had +honestly explained to him what he believed to be the state of his +daughter's feelings. "Now you know all," said he. "I do believe +that she loves me, and if she does, perhaps she may still listen to +you." Major Garrow did not feel sure that he "knew it all." But +when he had fully discussed the matter that night with his wife, +then he thought that perhaps he had arrived at that knowledge. + +On the following morning Bessy learned from the maid, at an early +hour, that Godfrey Holmes had left Thwaite Hall and gone back to +Liverpool. To the girl she said nothing on the subject, but she +felt obliged to say a word or two to Bella. "It is his coming that +I regret," she said;--"that he should have had the trouble and +annoyance for nothing. I acknowledge that it was my fault, and I am +very sorry." + +"It cannot be helped," said Miss Holmes, somewhat gravely. "As to +his misfortunes, I presume that his journeys between here and +Liverpool are not the worst of them." + +After breakfast on that day Bessy was summoned into her father's +book-room, and found him there, and her mother also. "Bessy," said +he, "sit down, my dear. You know why Godfrey has left us this +morning?" + +Bessy walked round the room, so that in sitting she might be close +to her mother and take her mother's hand in her own. "I suppose I +do, papa," she said. + +"He was with me late last night, Bessy; and when he told me what had +passed between you I agreed with him that he had better go." + +"It was better that he should go, papa." + +"But he has left a message for you." + +"A message, papa?" + +"Yes, Bessy. And your mother agrees with me that it had better be +given to you. It is this,--that if you will send him word to come +again, he will be here by Twelfth-night. He came before on my +invitation, but if he returns it must be on yours." + +"Oh, papa, I cannot." + +"I do not say that you can, but think of it calmly before you +altogether refuse. You shall give me your answer on New Year's +morning." + +"Mamma knows that it would be impossible," said Bessy. + +"Not impossible, dearest." + +"In such a matter you should do what you believe to be right," said +her father. + +"If I were to ask him here again, it would be telling him that I +would--" + +"Exactly, Bessy. It would be telling him that you would be his +wife. He would understand it so, and so would your mother and I. +It must be so understood altogether." + +"But, papa, when we were at Liverpool--" + +"I have told him everything, dearest," said Mrs. Garrow. + +"I think I understand the whole," said the Major; "and in such a +matter as this I will not give you counsel on either side. But you +must remember that in making up your mind, you must think of him as +well as of yourself. If you do not love him;--if you feel that as +his wife you should not love him, there is not another word to be +said. I need not explain to my daughter that under such +circumstances she would be wrong to encourage the visits of a +suitor. But your mother says you do love him." + +"I will not ask you. But if you do;--if you have so told him, and +allowed him to build up an idea of his life-happiness on such +telling, you will, I think, sin greatly against him by allowing a +false feminine pride to mar his happiness. When once a girl has +confessed to a man that she loves him, the confession and the love +together put upon her the burden of a duty towards him, which she +cannot with impunity throw aside." Then he kissed her, and bidding +her give him a reply on the morning of the new year, left her with +her mother. + +She had four days for consideration, and they went past her by no +means easily. Could she have been alone with her mother, the +struggle would not have been so painful; but there was the necessity +that she should talk to Isabella Holmes, and the necessity also that +she should not neglect the Coverdales. Nothing could have been +kinder than Bella. She did not speak on the subject till the +morning of the last day, and then only in a very few words. +"Bessy," she said, "as you are great, be merciful." + +"But I am not great, and it would not be mercy." + +"As to that," said Bella, "he has surely a right to his own +opinion." + +On that evening she was sitting alone in her room when her mother +came to her, and her eyes were red with weeping. Pen and paper were +before her, as though she were resolved to write, but hitherto no +word had been written. + +"Well, Bessy," said her mother, sitting down close beside her; "is +the deed done?" + +"What deed, mamma? Who says that I am to do it?" + +"The deed is not the writing, but the resolution to write. Five +words will be sufficient,--if only those five words may be written." + +"It is for one's whole life, mamma. For his life, as well as my +own." + +"True, Bessy;--that is quite true. But equally true whether you bid +him come or allow him to remain away. That task of making up one's +mind for life, must at last be done in some special moment of that +life." + +"Mamma, mamma; tell me what I should do." + +But this Mrs. Garrow would not do. "I will write the words for you +if you like," she said, "but it is you who must resolve that they +shall be written. I cannot bid my darling go away and leave me for +another home;--I can only say that in my heart I do believe that +home would be a happy one." + +It was morning before the note was written, but when the morning +came Bessy had written it and brought it to her mother. + +"You must take it to papa," she said. Then she went and hid herself +from all eyes till the noon had passed. "Dear Godfrey," the letter +ran, "Papa says that you will return on Wednesday if I write to ask +you. Do come back to us,--if you wish it. Yours always, Bessy." + +"It is as good as though she had filled the sheet," said the Major. +But in sending it to Godfrey Holmes, he did not omit a few +accompanying remarks of his own. + +An answer came from Godfrey by return of post; and on the afternoon +of the sixth of January, Frank Garrow drove over to the station at +Penrith to meet him. On their way back to Thwaite Hall there grew +up a very close confidence between the two future brothers-in-law, +and Frank explained with great perspicuity a little plan which he +had arranged himself. "As soon as it is dark, so that she won't see +it, Harry will hang it up in the dining-room," he said, "and mind +you go in there before you go anywhere else." + +"I am very glad you have come back, Godfrey," said the Major, +meeting him in the hall. + +"God bless you, dear Godfrey," said Mrs. Garrow, "you will find +Bessy in the dining-room," she whispered; but in so whispering she +was quite unconscious of the mistletoe bough. + +And so also was Bessy, nor do I think that she was much more +conscious when that introduction was over. Godfrey had made all +manner of promises to Frank, but when the moment arrived, he had +found the moment too important for any special reference to the +little bough above his head. Not so, however, Patty Coverdale. +"It's a shame," said she, bursting out of the room, "and if I'd +known what you had done, nothing on earth should have induced me to +go in. I won't enter the room till I know that you have taken it +out." Nevertheless her sister Kate was bold enough to solve the +mystery before the evening was over. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg Etext of The Mistletoe Bough, by Anthony Trollope + diff --git a/old/mstlb10.zip b/old/mstlb10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ae623ec --- /dev/null +++ b/old/mstlb10.zip |