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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/3719-0.txt b/3719-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1651194 --- /dev/null +++ b/3719-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1401 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Mistletoe Bough, by Anthony Trollope + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most +other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions +whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of +the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at +www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have +to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. + + + + +Title: The Mistletoe Bough + + +Author: Anthony Trollope + + + +Release Date: January 16, 2015 [eBook #3719] +[This file was first posted on August 7, 2001] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MISTLETOE BOUGH*** + + +Transcribed from the 1864 Chapman and Hall “Tales of All Countries” +edition by David Price, email ccx074@pglaf.org + + + + + + THE MISTLETOE BOUGH. + + +“Let the boys have it if they like it,” said Mrs. Garrow, pleading to her +only daughter on behalf of her two sons. + +“Pray don’t, mamma,” said Elizabeth Garrow. “It only means romping. To +me all that is detestable, and I am sure it is not the sort of thing that +Miss Holmes would like.” + +“We always had it at Christmas when we were young.” + +“But, mamma, the world is so changed.” + +The point in dispute was one very delicate in its nature, hardly to be +discussed in all its bearings, even in fiction, and the very mention of +which between mother and daughter showed a great amount of close +confidence between them. It was no less than this. Should that branch +of mistletoe which Frank Garrow had brought home with him out of the +Lowther woods be hung up on Christmas Eve in the dining-room at Thwaite +Hall, according to his wishes; or should permission for such hanging be +positively refused? It was clearly a thing not to be done after such a +discussion, and therefore the decision given by Mrs. Garrow was against +it. + +I am inclined to think that Miss Garrow was right in saying that the +world is changed as touching mistletoe boughs. Kissing, I fear, is less +innocent now than it used to be when our grand-mothers were alive, and we +have become more fastidious in our amusements. Nevertheless, I think +that she made herself fairly open to the raillery with which her brothers +attacked her. + +“Honi soit qui mal y pense,” said Frank, who was eighteen. + +“Nobody will want to kiss you, my lady Fineairs,” said Harry, who was +just a year younger. + +“Because you choose to be a Puritan, there are to be no more cakes and +ale in the house,” said Frank. + +“Still waters run deep; we all know that,” said Harry. + +The boys had not been present when the matter was decided between Mrs. +Garrow and her daughter, nor had the mother been present when these +little amenities had passed between the brothers and sister. + +“Only that mamma has said it, and I wouldn’t seem to go against her,” +said Frank, “I’d ask my father. He wouldn’t give way to such nonsense, I +know.” + +Elizabeth turned away without answering, and left the room. Her eyes +were full of tears, but she would not let them see that they had vexed +her. They were only two days home from school, and for the last week +before their coming, all her thoughts had been to prepare for their +Christmas pleasures. She had arranged their rooms, making everything +warm and pretty. Out of her own pocket she had bought a shot-belt for +one, and skates for the other. She had told the old groom that her pony +was to belong exclusively to Master Harry for the holidays, and now Harry +told her that still waters ran deep. She had been driven to the use of +all her eloquence in inducing her father to purchase that gun for Frank, +and now Frank called her a Puritan. And why? She did not choose that a +mistletoe bough should be hung in her father’s hall, when Godfrey Holmes +was coming to visit him. She could not explain this to Frank, but Frank +might have had the wit to understand it. But Frank was thinking only of +Patty Coverdale, a blue-eyed little romp of sixteen, who, with her sister +Kate, was coming from Penrith to spend the Christmas at Thwaite Hall. +Elizabeth left the room with her slow, graceful step, hiding her +tears,—hiding all emotion, as latterly she had taught herself that it was +feminine to do. “There goes my lady Fineairs,” said Harry, sending his +shrill voice after her. + +Thwaite Hall was not a place of much pretension. It was a moderate-sized +house, surrounded by pretty gardens and shrubberies, close down upon the +river Eamont, on the Westmoreland side of the river, looking over to a +lovely wooded bank in Cumberland. All the world knows that the Eamont +runs out of Ulleswater, dividing the two counties, passing under Penrith +Bridge and by the old ruins of Brougham Castle, below which it joins the +Eden. Thwaite Hall nestled down close upon the clear rocky stream about +half way between Ulleswater and Penrith, and had been built just at a +bend of the river. The windows of the dining-parlour and of the +drawing-room stood at right angles to each other, and yet each commanded +a reach of the stream. Immediately from a side of the house steps were +cut down through the red rock to the water’s edge, and here a small boat +was always moored to a chain. The chain was stretched across the river, +fixed to the staples driven into the rock on either side, and the boat +was pulled backwards and forwards over the stream without aid from oars +or paddles. From the opposite side a path led through the woods and +across the fields to Penrith, and this was the route commonly used +between Thwaite Hall and the town. + +Major Garrow was a retired officer of Engineers, who had seen service in +all parts of the world, and who was now spending the evening of his days +on a small property which had come to him from his father. He held in +his own hands about twenty acres of land, and he was the owner of one +small farm close by, which was let to a tenant. That, together with his +half-pay, and the interest of his wife’s thousand pounds, sufficed to +educate his children and keep the wolf at a comfortable distance from his +door. He himself was a spare thin man, with quiet, lazy, literary +habits. He had done the work of life, but had so done it as to permit of +his enjoying that which was left to him. His sole remaining care was the +establishment of his children; and, as far as he could see, he had no +ground for anticipating disappointment. They were clever, good-looking, +well-disposed young people, and upon the whole it may be said that the +sun shone brightly on Thwaite Hall. Of Mrs. Garrow it may suffice to say +that she always deserved such sunshine. + +For years past it had been the practice of the family to have some sort +of gathering at Thwaite Hall during Christmas. Godfrey Holmes had been +left under the guardianship of Major Garrow, and, as he had always spent +his Christmas holidays with his guardian, this, perhaps, had given rise +to the practice. Then the Coverdales were cousins of the Garrows, and +they had usually been there as children. At the Christmas last past the +custom had been broken, for young Holmes had been abroad. Previous to +that, they had all been children, excepting him. But now that they were +to meet again, they were no longer children. Elizabeth, at any rate, was +not so, for she had already counted nineteen winters. And Isabella +Holmes was coming. Now Isabella was two years older than Elizabeth, and +had been educated in Brussels; moreover she was comparatively a stranger +at Thwaite Hall, never having been at those early Christmas meetings. + +And now I must take permission to begin my story by telling a lady’s +secret. Elizabeth Garrow had already been in love with Godfrey Holmes, +or perhaps it might be more becoming to say that Godfrey Holmes had +already been in love with her. They had already been engaged; and, alas! +they had already agreed that that engagement should be broken off! + +Young Holmes was now twenty-seven years of age, and was employed in a +bank at Liverpool, not as a clerk, but as assistant-manager, with a large +salary. He was a man well to do in the world, who had money also of his +own, and who might well afford to marry. Some two years since, on the +eve of leaving Thwaite Hall, he had with low doubting whisper told +Elizabeth that he loved her, and she had flown trembling to her mother. +“Godfrey, my boy,” the father said to him, as he parted with him the next +morning, “Bessy is only a child, and too young to think of this yet.” At +the next Christmas Godfrey was in Italy, and the thing was gone by,—so at +least the father and mother said to each other. But the young people had +met in the summer, and one joyful letter had come from the girl home to +her mother. “I have accepted him. Dearest, dearest mamma, I do love +him. But don’t tell papa yet, for I have not quite accepted him. I +think I am sure, but I am not quite sure. I am not quite sure about +him.” + +And then, two days after that, there had come a letter that was not at +all joyful. “Dearest Mamma,—It is not to be. It is not written in the +book. We have both agreed that it will not do. I am so glad that you +have not told dear papa, for I could never make him understand. You will +understand, for I shall tell you everything, down to his very words. But +we have agreed that there shall be no quarrel. It shall be exactly as it +was, and he will come at Christmas all the same. It would never do that +he and papa should be separated, nor could we now put off Isabella. It +is better so in every way, for there is and need be no quarrel. We still +like each other. I am sure I like him, but I know that I should not make +him happy as his wife. He says it is my fault. I, at any rate, have +never told him that I thought it his.” From all which it will be seen +that the confidence between the mother and daughter was very close. + +Elizabeth Garrow was a very good girl, but it might almost be a question +whether she was not too good. She had learned, or thought that she had +learned, that most girls are vapid, silly, and useless,—given chiefly to +pleasure-seeking and a hankering after lovers; and she had resolved that +she would not be such a one. + +Industry, self-denial, and a religious purpose in life, were the tasks +which she set herself; and she went about the performance of them with +much courage. But such tasks, though they are excellently well adapted +to fit a young lady for the work of living, may also be carried too far, +and thus have the effect of unfitting her for that work. When Elizabeth +Garrow made up her mind that the finding of a husband was not the only +purpose of life, she did very well. It is very well that a young lady +should feel herself capable of going through the world happily without +one. But in teaching herself this she also taught herself to think that +there was a certain merit in refusing herself the natural delight of a +lover, even though the possession of the lover were compatible with all +her duties to herself, her father and mother, and the world at large. It +was not that she had determined to have no lover. She made no such +resolve, and when the proper lover came he was admitted to her heart. +But she declared to herself unconsciously that she must put a guard upon +herself, lest she should be betrayed into weakness by her own happiness. +She had resolved that in loving her lord she would not worship him, and +that in giving her heart she would only so give it as it should be given +to a human creature like herself. She had acted on these high resolves, +and hence it had come to pass,—not unnaturally,—that Mr. Godfrey Holmes +had told her that it was “her fault.” + +She was a pretty, fair girl, with soft dark-brown hair, and soft long +dark eyelashes. Her grey eyes, though quiet in their tone, were tender +and lustrous. Her face was oval, and the lines of her cheek and chin +perfect in their symmetry. She was generally quiet in her demeanour, but +when moved she could rouse herself to great energy, and speak with +feeling and almost with fire. Her fault was a reverence for martyrdom in +general, and a feeling, of which she was unconscious, that it became a +young woman to be unhappy in secret;—that it became a young woman, I +might rather say, to have a source of unhappiness hidden from the world +in general, and endured without any detriment to her outward +cheerfulness. We know the story of the Spartan boy who held the fox +under his tunic. The fox was biting into him,—into the very entrails; +but the young hero spake never a word. Now Bessy Garrow was inclined to +think that it was a good thing to have a fox always biting, so that the +torment caused no ruffling to her outward smiles. Now at this moment the +fox within her bosom was biting her sore enough, but she bore it without +flinching. + +“If you would rather that he should not come I will have it arranged,” +her mother had said to her. + +“Not for worlds,” she had answered. “I should never think well of myself +again.” + +Her mother had changed her own mind more than once as to the conduct in +this matter which might be best for her to follow, thinking solely of her +daughter’s welfare. “If he comes they will be reconciled, and she will +be happy,” had been her first idea. But then there was a stern fixedness +of purpose in Bessy’s words when she spoke of Mr. Holmes, which had +expelled this hope, and Mrs. Garrow had for a while thought it better +that the young man should not come. But Bessy would not permit this. It +would vex her father, put out of course the arrangements of other people, +and display weakness on her own part. He should come, and she would +endure without flinching while the fox gnawed at her. + +That battle of the mistletoe had been fought on the morning before +Christmas-day, and the Holmeses came on Christmas-eve. Isabella was +comparatively a stranger, and therefore received at first the greater +share of attention. She and Elizabeth had once seen each other, and for +the last year or two had corresponded, but personally they had never been +intimate. Unfortunately for the latter, that story of Godfrey’s offer +and acceptance had been communicated to Isabella, as had of course the +immediately subsequent story of their separation. But now it would be +almost impossible to avoid the subject in conversation. “Dearest +Isabella, let it be as though it had never been,” she had said in one of +her letters. But sometimes it is very difficult to let things be as +though they had never been. + +The first evening passed over very well. The two Coverdale girls were +there, and there had been much talking and merry laughter, rather +juvenile in its nature, but on the whole none the worse for that. +Isabella Holmes was a fine, tall, handsome girl; good-humoured, and well +disposed to be pleased; rather Frenchified in her manners, and quite able +to take care of herself. But she was not above round games, and did not +turn up her nose at the boys. Godfrey behaved himself excellently, +talking much to the Major, but by no means avoiding Miss Garrow. Mrs. +Garrow, though she had known him since he was a boy, had taken an +aversion to him since he had quarrelled with her daughter; but there was +no room on this first night for showing such aversion, and everything +went off well. + +“Godfrey is very much improved,” the Major said to his wife that night. + +“Do you think so?” + +“Indeed I do. He has filled out and become a fine man.” + +“In personal appearance, you mean. Yes, he is well-looking enough.” + +“And in his manner, too. He is doing uncommonly well in Liverpool, I can +tell you; and if he should think of Bessy—” + +“There is nothing of that sort,” said Mrs. Garrow. + +“He did speak to me, you know,—two years ago. Bessy was too young then, +and so indeed was he. But if she likes him—” + +“I don’t think she does.” + +“Then there’s an end of it.” And so they went to bed. + +“Frank,” said the sister to her elder brother, knocking at his door when +they had all gone up stairs, “may I come in,—if you are not in bed?” + +“In bed,” said he, looking up with some little pride from his Greek book; +“I’ve one hundred and fifty lines to do before I can get to bed. It’ll +be two, I suppose. I’ve got to mug uncommon hard these holidays. I have +only one more half, you know, and then—” + +“Don’t overdo it, Frank.” + +“No; I won’t overdo it. I mean to take one day a week, and work eight +hours a day on the other five. That will be forty hours a week, and will +give me just two hundred hours for the holidays. I have got it all down +here on a table. That will be a hundred and five for Greek play, forty +for Algebra—” and so he explained to her the exact destiny of all his +long hours of proposed labour. He had as yet been home a day and a half, +and had succeeded in drawing out with red lines and blue figures the +table which he showed her. “If I can do that, it will be pretty well; +won’t it?” + +“But, Frank, you have come home for your holidays,—to enjoy yourself?” + +“But a fellow must work now-a-days.” + +“Don’t overdo it, dear; that’s all. But, Frank, I could not rest if I +went to bed without speaking to you. You made me unhappy to-day.” + +“Did I, Bessy?” + +“You called me a Puritan, and then you quoted that ill-natured French +proverb at me. Do you really believe your sister thinks evil, Frank?” +and as she spoke she put her arm caressingly round his neck. + +“Of course I don’t.” + +“Then why say so? Harry is so much younger and so thoughtless that I can +bear what he says without so much suffering. But if you and I are not +friends I shall be very wretched. If you knew how I have looked forward +to your coming home!” + +“I did not mean to vex you, and I won’t say such things again.” + +“That’s my own Frank. What I said to mamma, I said because I thought it +right; but you must not say that I am a Puritan. I would do anything in +my power to make your holidays bright and pleasant. I know that boys +require so much more to amuse them than girls do. Good night, dearest; +pray don’t overdo yourself with work, and do take care of your eyes.” + +So saying she kissed him and went her way. In twenty minutes after that, +he had gone to sleep over his book; and when he woke up to find the +candle guttering down, he resolved that he would not begin his measured +hours till Christmas-day was fairly over. + +The morning of Christmas-day passed very quietly. They all went to +church, and then sat round the fire chatting until the four o’clock +dinner was ready. The Coverdale girls thought it was rather more dull +than former Thwaite Hall festivities, and Frank was seen to yawn. But +then everybody knows that the real fun of Christmas never begins till the +day itself be passed. The beef and pudding are ponderous, and unless +there be absolute children in the party, there is a difficulty in +grafting any special afternoon amusements on the Sunday pursuits of the +morning. In the evening they were to have a dance; that had been +distinctly promised to Patty Coverdale; but the dance would not commence +till eight. The beef and pudding were ponderous, but with due efforts +they were overcome and disappeared. The glass of port was sipped, the +almonds and raisins were nibbled, and then the ladies left the room. Ten +minutes after that Elizabeth found herself seated with Isabella Holmes +over the fire in her father’s little book-room. It was not by her that +this meeting was arranged, for she dreaded such a constrained confidence; +but of course it could not be avoided, and perhaps it might be as well +now as hereafter. + +“Bessy,” said the elder girl, “I am dying to be alone with you for a +moment.” + +“Well, you shall not die; that is, if being alone with me will save you.” + +“I have so much to say to you. And if you have any true friendship in +you, you also will have so much to say to me.” + +Miss Garrow perhaps had no true friendship in her at that moment, for she +would gladly have avoided saying anything, had that been possible. But +in order to prove that she was not deficient in friendship, she gave her +friend her hand. + +“And now tell me everything about Godfrey,” said Isabella. + +“Dear Bella, I have nothing to tell;—literally nothing.” + +“That is nonsense. Stop a moment, dear, and understand that I do not +mean to offend you. It cannot be that you have nothing to tell, if you +choose to tell it. You are not the girl to have accepted Godfrey without +loving him, nor is he the man to have asked you without loving you. When +you write me word that you have changed your mind, as you might about a +dress, of course I know you have not told me all. Now I insist upon +knowing it,—that is, if we are to be friends. I would not speak a word +to Godfrey till I had seen you, in order that I might hear your story +first.” + +“Indeed, Bella, there is no story to tell.” + +“Then I must ask him.” + +“If you wish to play the part of a true friend to me, you will let the +matter pass by and say nothing. You must understand that, circumstanced +as we are, your brother’s visit here,—what I mean is, that it is very +difficult for me to act and speak exactly as I should do, and a few +unfortunate words spoken may make my position unendurable.” + +“Will you answer me one question?” + +“I cannot tell. I think I will.” + +“Do you love him?” For a moment or two Bessy remained silent, striving +to arrange her words so that they should contain no falsehood, and yet +betray no truth. “Ah, I see you do,” continued Miss Holmes. “But of +course you do. Why else did you accept him?” + +“I fancied that I did, as young ladies do sometimes fancy.” + +“And will you say that you do not, now?” Again Bessy was silent, and +then her friend rose from her seat. “I see it all,” she said. “What a +pity it was that you both had not some friend like me by you at the time! +But perhaps it may not be too late.” + +I need not repeat at length all the protestations which upon this were +poured forth with hot energy by poor Bessy. She endeavoured to explain +how great had been the difficulty of her position. This Christmas visit +had been arranged before that unhappy affair at Liverpool had occurred. +Isabella’s visit had been partly one of business, it being necessary that +certain money affairs should be arranged between her, her brother, and +the Major. “I determined,” said Bessy, “not to let my feelings stand in +the way; and hoped that things might settle down to their former friendly +footing. I already fear that I have been wrong, but it will be +ungenerous in you to punish me.” Then she went on to say that if anybody +attempted to interfere with her, she should at once go away to her +mother’s sister, who lived at Hexham, in Northumberland. + +Then came the dance, and the hearts of Kate and Patty Coverdale were at +last happy. But here again poor Bessy was made to understand how +terribly difficult was this experiment of entertaining on a footing of +friendship a lover with whom she had quarrelled only a month or two +before. That she must as a necessity become the partner of Godfrey +Holmes she had already calculated, and so much she was prepared to +endure. Her brothers would of course dance with the Coverdale girls, and +her father would of course stand up with Isabella. There was no other +possible arrangement, at any rate as a beginning. + +She had schooled herself, too, as to the way in which she would speak to +him on the occasion, and how she would remain mistress of herself and of +her thoughts. But when the time came the difficulty was almost too much +for her. + +“You do not care much for dancing, if I remember?” said he. + +“Oh yes, I do. Not as Patty Coverdale does. It’s a passion with her. +But then I am older than Patty Coverdale.” After that he was silent for +a minute or two. + +“It seems so odd to me to be here again,” he said. It was odd;—she felt +that it was odd. But he ought not to have said so. + +“Two years make a great difference. The boys have grown so much.” + +“Yes, and there are other things,” said he. + +“Bella was never here before; at least not with you.” + +“No. But I did not exactly mean that. All that would not make the place +so strange. But your mother seems altered to me. She used to be almost +like my own mother.” + +“I suppose she finds that you are a more formidable person as you grow +older. It was all very well scolding you when you were a clerk in the +bank, but it does not do to scold the manager. These are the penalties +men pay for becoming great.” + +“It is not my greatness that stands in my way, but—” + +“Then I’m sure I cannot say what it is. But Patty will scold you if you +do not mind the figure, though you were the whole Board of Directors +packed into one. She won’t respect you if you neglect your present +work.” + +When Bessy went to bed that night she began to feel that she had +attempted too much. “Mamma,” she said, “could I not make some excuse and +go away to Aunt Mary?” + +“What now?” + +“Yes, mamma; now; to-morrow. I need not say that it will make me very +unhappy to be away at such a time, but I begin to think that it will be +better.” + +“What will papa say?” + +“You must tell him all.” + +“And Aunt Mary must be told also. You would not like that. Has he said +anything?” + +“No, nothing;—very little, that is. But Bella has spoken to me. Oh, +mamma, I think we have been very wrong in this. That is, I have been +wrong. I feel as though I should disgrace myself, and turn the whole +party here into a misfortune.” + +It would be dreadful, that telling of the story to her father and to her +aunt, and such a necessity must, if possible, be avoided. Should such a +necessity actually come, the former task would, no doubt, be done by her +mother, but that would not lighten the load materially. After a +fortnight she would again meet her father, and would be forced to discuss +it. “I will remain if it be possible,” she said; “but, mamma, if I wish +to go, you will not stop me?” Her mother promised that she would not +stop her, but strongly advised her to stand her ground. + +On the following morning, when she came down stairs before breakfast, she +found Frank standing in the hall with his gun, of which he was trying the +lock. “It is not loaded, is it, Frank?” said she. + +“Oh dear, no; no one thinks of loading now-a-days till he has got out of +the house. Directly after breakfast I am going across with Godfrey to +the back of Greystock, to see after some moor-fowl. He asked me to go, +and I couldn’t well refuse.” + +“Of course not. Why should you?” + +“It will be deuced hard work to make up the time. I was to have been up +at four this morning, but that alarum went off and never woke me. +However, I shall be able to do something to-night.” + +“Don’t make a slavery of your holidays, Frank. What’s the good of having +a new gun if you’re not to use it?” + +“It’s not the new gun. I’m not such a child as that comes to. But, you +see, Godfrey is here, and one ought to be civil to him. I’ll tell you +what I want you girls to do, Bessy. You must come and meet us on our way +home. Come over in the boat and along the path to the Patterdale road. +We’ll be there under the hill about five.” + +“And if you are not, we are to wait in the snow?” + +“Don’t make difficulties, Bessy. I tell you we will be there. We are to +go in the cart, and so shall have plenty of time.” + +“And how do you know the other girls will go?” + +“Why, to tell you the truth, Patty Coverdale has promised. As for Miss +Holmes, if she won’t, why you must leave her at home with mamma. But +Kate and Patty can’t come without you.” + +“Your discretion has found that out, has it?” + +“They say so. But you will come; won’t you, Bessy? As for waiting, it’s +all nonsense. Of course you can walk on. But we’ll be at the stile by +five. I’ve got my watch, you know.” And then Bessy promised him. What +would she not have done for him that was in her power to do? + +“Go! Of course I’ll go,” said Miss Holmes. “I’m up to anything. I’d +have gone with them this morning, and have taken a gun if they’d asked +me. But, by-the-bye, I’d better not.” + +“Why not?” said Patty, who was hardly yet without fear lest something +should mar the expedition. + +“What will three gentlemen do with four ladies?” + +“Oh, I forgot,” said Patty innocently. + +“I’m sure I don’t care,” said Kate; “you may have Harry if you like.” + +“Thank you for nothing,” said Miss Holmes. “I want one for myself. It’s +all very well for you to make the offer, but what should I do if Harry +wouldn’t have me? There are two sides, you know, to every bargain.” + +“I’m sure he isn’t anything to me,” said Kate. “Why, he’s not quite +seventeen years old yet!” + +“Poor boy! What a shame to dispose of him so soon. We’ll let him off +for a year or two; won’t we, Miss Coverdale? But as there seems by +acknowledgment to be one beau with unappropriated services—” + +“I’m sure I have appropriated nobody,” said Patty, “and didn’t intend.” + +“Godfrey, then, is the only knight whose services are claimed,” said Miss +Holmes, looking at Bessy. Bessy made no immediate answer with either her +eyes or tongue; but when the Coverdales were gone, she took her new +friend to task. + +“How can you fill those young girls’ heads with such nonsense?” + +“Nature has done that, my dear.” + +“But nature should be trained; should it not? You will make them think +that those foolish boys are in love with them.” + +“The foolish boys, as you call them, will look after that themselves. It +seems to me that the foolish boys know what they are about better than +some of their elders.” And then, after a moment’s pause, she added, “As +for my brother, I have no patience with him.” + +“Pray do not discuss your brother,” said Bessy. “And, Bella, unless you +wish to drive me away, pray do not speak of him and me together as you +did just now.” + +“Are you so bad as that,—that the slightest commonplace joke upsets you? +Would not his services be due to you as a matter of course? If you are +so sore about it, you will betray your own secret.” + +“I have no secret,—none at least from you, or from mamma; and, indeed, +none from him. We were both very foolish, thinking that we knew each +other and our own hearts, when we knew neither.” + +“I hate to hear people talk of knowing their hearts. My idea is, that if +you like a young man, and he asks you to marry him, you ought to have +him. That is, if there is enough to live on. I don’t know what more is +wanted. But girls are getting to talk and think as though they were to +send their hearts through some fiery furnace of trial before they may +give them up to a husband’s keeping. I am not at all sure that the +French fashion is not the best, and that these things shouldn’t be +managed by the fathers and mothers, or perhaps by the family lawyers. +Girls who are so intent upon knowing their own hearts generally end by +knowing nobody’s heart but their own; and then they die old maids.” + +“Better that than give themselves to the keeping of those they don’t know +and cannot esteem.” + +“That’s a matter of taste. I mean to take the first that comes, so long +as he looks like a gentleman, and has not less than eight hundred a year. +Now Godfrey does look like a gentleman, and has double that. If I had +such a chance I shouldn’t think twice about it.” + +“But I have no such chance.” + +“That’s the way the wind blows; is it?” + +“No, no. Oh, Bella, pray, pray leave me alone. Pray do not interfere. +There is no wind blowing in any way. All that I want is your silence and +your sympathy.” + +“Very well. I will be silent and sympathetic as the grave. Only don’t +imagine that I am cold as the grave also. I don’t exactly appreciate +your ideas; but if I can do no good, I will at any rate endeavour to do +no harm.” + +After lunch, at about three, they started on their walk, and managed to +ferry themselves over the river. “Oh, do let me, Bessy,” said Kate +Coverdale. “I understand all about it. Look here, Miss Holmes. You +pull the chain through your hands—” + +“And inevitably tear your gloves to pieces,” said Miss Holmes. Kate +certainly had done so, and did not seem to be particularly well pleased +with the accident. “There’s a nasty nail in the chain,” she said. “I +wonder those stupid boys did not tell us.” + +Of course they reached the trysting-place much too soon, and were very +tired of walking up and down to keep their feet warm, before the +sportsmen came up. But this was their own fault, seeing that they had +reached the stile half an hour before the time fixed. + +“I never will go anywhere to meet gentlemen again,” said Miss Holmes. +“It is most preposterous that ladies should be left in the snow for an +hour. Well, young men, what sport have you had?” + +“I shot the big black cock,” said Harry. + +“Did you indeed?” said Kate Coverdale. + +“And here are the feathers out of his tail for you. He dropped them in +the water, and I had to go in after them up to my middle. But I told you +that I would, so I was determined to get them.” + +“Oh, you silly, silly boy,” said Kate. “But I’ll keep them for ever. I +will indeed.” This was said a little apart, for Harry had managed to +draw the young lady aside before he presented the feathers. + +Frank had also his trophies for Patty, and the tale to tell of his own +prowess. In that he was a year older than his brother, he was by a +year’s growth less ready to tender his present to his lady-love, openly +in the presence of them all. But he found his opportunity, and then he +and Patty went on a little in advance. Kate also was deep in her +consolations to Harry for his ducking; and therefore the four disposed of +themselves in the manner previously suggested by Miss Holmes. Miss +Holmes, therefore, and her brother, and Bessy Garrow, were left together +in the path, and discussed the performances of the day in a manner that +elicited no very ecstatic interest. So they walked for a mile, and by +degrees the conversation between them dwindled down almost to nothing. + +“There is nothing I dislike so much as coming out with people younger +than myself,” said Miss Holmes. “One always feels so old and dull. +Listen to those children there; they make me feel as though I were an old +maiden aunt, brought out with them to do propriety.” + +“Patty won’t at all approve if she hears you call her a child.” + +“Nor shall I approve, if she treats me like an old woman,” and then she +stepped on and joined the children. “I wouldn’t spoil even their sport +if I could help it,” she said to herself. “But with them I shall only be +a temporary nuisance; if I remain behind I shall become a permanent +evil.” And thus Bessy and her old lover were left by themselves. + +“I hope you will get on well with Bella,” said Godfrey, when they had +remained silent for a minute or two. + +“Oh, yes. She is so good-natured and light-spirited that everybody must +like her. She has been used to so much amusement and active life, that I +know she must find it very dull here.” + +“She is never dull anywhere,—even at Liverpool, which, for a young lady, +I sometimes think the dullest place on earth. I know it is for a man.” + +“A man who has work to do can never be dull; can he?” + +“Indeed he can; as dull as death. I am so often enough. I have never +been very bright there, Bessy, since you left us.” + +There was nothing in his calling her Bessy, for it had become a habit +with him since they were children; and they had formerly agreed that +everything between them should be as it had been before that foolish +whisper of love had been spoken and received. Indeed, provision had been +made by them specially on this point, so that there need be no +awkwardness in this mode of addressing each other. Such provision had +seemed to be very prudent, but it hardly had the desired effect on the +present occasion. + +“I hardly know what you mean by brightness,” she said, after a pause. +“Perhaps it is not intended that people’s lives should be what you call +bright.” + +“Life ought to be as bright as we can make it.” + +“It all depends on the meaning of the word. I suppose we are not very +bright here at Thwaite Hall, but yet we think ourselves very happy.” + +“I am sure you are,” said Godfrey. “I very often think of you here.” + +“We always think of places where we have been when we were young,” said +Bessy; and then again they walked on for some way in silence, and Bessy +began to increase her pace with the view of catching the children. The +present walk to her was anything but bright, and she bethought herself +with dismay that there were still two miles before she reached the Ferry. + +“Bessy,” Godfrey said at last. And then he stopped as though he were +doubtful how to proceed. She, however, did not say a word, but walked on +quickly, as though her only hope was in catching the party before her. +But they also were walking quickly, for Bella was determined that she +would not be caught. + +“Bessy, I must speak to you once of what passed between us at Liverpool.” + +“Must you?” said she. + +“Unless you positively forbid it.” + +“Stop, Godfrey,” she said. And they did stop in the path, for now she no +longer thought of putting an end to her embarrassment by overtaking her +companions. “If any such words are necessary for your comfort, it would +hardly become me to forbid them. Were I to speak so harshly you would +accuse me afterwards in your own heart. It must be for you to judge +whether it is well to reopen a wound that is nearly healed.” + +“But with me it is not nearly healed. The wound is open always.” + +“There are some hurts,” she said, “which do not admit of an absolute and +perfect cure, unless after long years.” As she said so, she could not +but think how much better was his chance of such perfect cure than her +own. With her,—so she said to herself,—such curing was all but +impossible; whereas with him, it was as impossible that the injury should +last. + +“Bessy,” he said, and he again stopped her on the narrow path, standing +immediately before her on the way, “you remember all the circumstances +that made us part?” + +“Yes; I think I remember them.” + +“And you still think that we were right to part?” + +She paused for a moment before she answered him; but it was only for a +moment, and then she spoke quite firmly. “Yes, Godfrey, I do; I have +thought about it much since then. I have thought, I fear, to no good +purpose about aught else. But I have never thought that we had been +unwise in that.” + +“And yet I think you loved me.” + +“I am bound to confess I did so, as otherwise I must confess myself a +liar. I told you at the time that I loved you, and I told you so truly. +But it is better, ten times better, that those who love should part, even +though they still should love, than that two should be joined together +who are incapable of making each other happy. Remember what you told +me.” + +“I do remember.” + +“You found yourself unhappy in your engagement, and you said it was my +fault.” + +“Bessy, there is my hand. If you have ceased to love me, there is an end +of it. But if you love me still, let all that be forgotten.” + +“Forgotten, Godfrey! How can it be forgotten? You were unhappy, and it +was my fault. My fault, as it would be if I tried to solace a sick child +with arithmetic, or feed a dog with grass. I had no right to love you, +knowing you as I did; and knowing also that my ways would not be your +ways. My punishment I understand, and it is not more than I can bear; +but I had hoped that your punishment would have been soon over.” + +“You are too proud, Bessy.” + +“That is very likely. Frank says that I am a Puritan, and pride was the +worst of their sins.” + +“Too proud and unbending. In marriage should not the man and woman adapt +themselves to each other?” + +“When they are married, yes. And every girl who thinks of marrying +should know that in very much she must adapt herself to her husband. But +I do not think that a woman should be the ivy, to take the direction of +every branch of the tree to which she clings. If she does so, what can +be her own character? But we must go on, or we shall be too late.” + +“And you will give me no other answer?” + +“None other, Godfrey. Have you not just now, at this very moment, told +me that I was too proud? Can it be possible that you should wish to tie +yourself for life to female pride? And if you tell me that now, at such +a moment as this, what would you tell me in the close intimacy of married +life, when the trifles of every day would have worn away the courtesies +of guest and lover?” + +There was a sharpness of rebuke in this which Godfrey Holmes could not at +the moment overcome. Nevertheless he knew the girl, and understood the +workings of her heart and mind. Now, in her present state, she could be +unbending, proud, and almost rough. In that she had much to lose in +declining the renewed offer which he made her, she would, as it were, +continually prompt herself to be harsh and inflexible. Had he been poor, +had she not loved him, had not all good things seemed to have attended +the promise of such a marriage, she would have been less suspicious of +herself in receiving the offer, and more gracious in replying to it. Had +he lost all his money before he came back to her, she would have taken +him at once; or had he been deprived of an eye, or become crippled in his +legs, she would have done so. But, circumstanced as he was, she had no +motive to tenderness. There was an organic defect in her character, +which no doubt was plainly marked by its own bump in her cranium,—the +bump of philomartyrdom, it might properly be called. She had shipwrecked +her own happiness in rejecting Godfrey Holmes; but it seemed to her to be +the proper thing that a well-behaved young lady should shipwreck her own +happiness. For the last month or two she had been tossed about by the +waters and was nearly drowned. Now there was beautiful land again close +to her, and a strong pleasant hand stretched out to save her. But though +she had suffered terribly among the waves, she still thought it wrong to +be saved. It would be so pleasant to take that hand, so sweet, so +joyous, that it surely must be wrong. That was her doctrine; and Godfrey +Holmes, though he hardly analysed the matter, partly understood that it +was so. And yet, if once she were landed on that green island, she would +be so happy. She spoke with scorn of a woman clinging to a tree like +ivy; and yet, were she once married, no woman would cling to her husband +with sweeter feminine tenacity than Bessy Garrow. He spoke no further +word to her as he walked home, but in handing her down to the ferry-boat +he pressed her hand. For a second it seemed as though she had returned +this pressure. If so, the action was involuntary, and her hand instantly +resumed its stiffness to his touch. + +It was late that night when Major Garrow went to his bedroom, but his +wife was still up, waiting for him. “Well,” said she, “what has he said +to you? He has been with you above an hour.” + +“Such stories are not very quickly told; and in this case it was +necessary to understand him very accurately. At length I think I do +understand him.” + +It is not necessary to repeat at length all that was said on that night +between Major and Mrs. Garrow, as to the offer which had now for a third +time been made to their daughter. On that evening, after the ladies had +gone, and when the two boys had taken themselves off, Godfrey Holmes told +his tale to his host, and had honestly explained to him what he believed +to be the state of his daughter’s feelings. “Now you know all,” said he. +“I do believe that she loves me, and if she does, perhaps she may still +listen to you.” Major Garrow did not feel sure that he “knew it all.” +But when he had fully discussed the matter that night with his wife, then +he thought that perhaps he had arrived at that knowledge. + +On the following morning Bessy learned from the maid, at an early hour, +that Godfrey Holmes had left Thwaite Hall and gone back to Liverpool. To +the girl she said nothing on the subject, but she felt obliged to say a +word or two to Bella. “It is his coming that I regret,” she said;—“that +he should have had the trouble and annoyance for nothing. I acknowledge +that it was my fault, and I am very sorry.” + +“It cannot be helped,” said Miss Holmes, somewhat gravely. “As to his +misfortunes, I presume that his journeys between here and Liverpool are +not the worst of them.” + +After breakfast on that day Bessy was summoned into her father’s +book-room, and found him there, and her mother also. “Bessy,” said he, +“sit down, my dear. You know why Godfrey has left us this morning?” + +Bessy walked round the room, so that in sitting she might be close to her +mother and take her mother’s hand in her own. “I suppose I do, papa,” +she said. + +“He was with me late last night, Bessy; and when he told me what had +passed between you I agreed with him that he had better go.” + +“It was better that he should go, papa.” + +“But he has left a message for you.” + +“A message, papa?” + +“Yes, Bessy. And your mother agrees with me that it had better be given +to you. It is this,—that if you will send him word to come again, he +will be here by Twelfth-night. He came before on my invitation, but if +he returns it must be on yours.” + +“Oh, papa, I cannot.” + +“I do not say that you can, but think of it calmly before you altogether +refuse. You shall give me your answer on New Year’s morning.” + +“Mamma knows that it would be impossible,” said Bessy. + +“Not impossible, dearest.” + +“In such a matter you should do what you believe to be right,” said her +father. + +“If I were to ask him here again, it would be telling him that I would—” + +“Exactly, Bessy. It would be telling him that you would be his wife. He +would understand it so, and so would your mother and I. It must be so +understood altogether.” + +“But, papa, when we were at Liverpool—” + +“I have told him everything, dearest,” said Mrs. Garrow. + +“I think I understand the whole,” said the Major; “and in such a matter +as this I will not give you counsel on either side. But you must +remember that in making up your mind, you must think of him as well as of +yourself. If you do not love him;—if you feel that as his wife you +should not love him, there is not another word to be said. I need not +explain to my daughter that under such circumstances she would be wrong +to encourage the visits of a suitor. But your mother says you do love +him.” + +“I will not ask you. But if you do;—if you have so told him, and allowed +him to build up an idea of his life-happiness on such telling, you will, +I think, sin greatly against him by allowing a false feminine pride to +mar his happiness. When once a girl has confessed to a man that she +loves him, the confession and the love together put upon her the burden +of a duty towards him, which she cannot with impunity throw aside.” Then +he kissed her, and bidding her give him a reply on the morning of the new +year, left her with her mother. + +She had four days for consideration, and they went past her by no means +easily. Could she have been alone with her mother, the struggle would +not have been so painful; but there was the necessity that she should +talk to Isabella Holmes, and the necessity also that she should not +neglect the Coverdales. Nothing could have been kinder than Bella. She +did not speak on the subject till the morning of the last day, and then +only in a very few words. “Bessy,” she said, “as you are great, be +merciful.” + +“But I am not great, and it would not be mercy.” + +“As to that,” said Bella, “he has surely a right to his own opinion.” + +On that evening she was sitting alone in her room when her mother came to +her, and her eyes were red with weeping. Pen and paper were before her, +as though she were resolved to write, but hitherto no word had been +written. + +“Well, Bessy,” said her mother, sitting down close beside her; “is the +deed done?” + +“What deed, mamma? Who says that I am to do it?” + +“The deed is not the writing, but the resolution to write. Five words +will be sufficient,—if only those five words may be written.” + +“It is for one’s whole life, mamma. For his life, as well as my own.” + +“True, Bessy;—that is quite true. But equally true whether you bid him +come or allow him to remain away. That task of making up one’s mind for +life, must at last be done in some special moment of that life.” + +“Mamma, mamma; tell me what I should do.” + +But this Mrs. Garrow would not do. “I will write the words for you if +you like,” she said, “but it is you who must resolve that they shall be +written. I cannot bid my darling go away and leave me for another +home;—I can only say that in my heart I do believe that home would be a +happy one.” + +It was morning before the note was written, but when the morning came +Bessy had written it and brought it to her mother. + +“You must take it to papa,” she said. Then she went and hid herself from +all eyes till the noon had passed. “Dear Godfrey,” the letter ran, “Papa +says that you will return on Wednesday if I write to ask you. Do come +back to us,—if you wish it. Yours always, Bessy.” + +“It is as good as though she had filled the sheet,” said the Major. But +in sending it to Godfrey Holmes, he did not omit a few accompanying +remarks of his own. + +An answer came from Godfrey by return of post; and on the afternoon of +the sixth of January, Frank Garrow drove over to the station at Penrith +to meet him. On their way back to Thwaite Hall there grew up a very +close confidence between the two future brothers-in-law, and Frank +explained with great perspicuity a little plan which he had arranged +himself. “As soon as it is dark, so that she won’t see it, Harry will +hang it up in the dining-room,” he said, “and mind you go in there before +you go anywhere else.” + +“I am very glad you have come back, Godfrey,” said the Major, meeting him +in the hall. + +“God bless you, dear Godfrey,” said Mrs. Garrow, “you will find Bessy in +the dining-room,” she whispered; but in so whispering she was quite +unconscious of the mistletoe bough. + +And so also was Bessy, nor do I think that she was much more conscious +when that introduction was over. Godfrey had made all manner of promises +to Frank, but when the moment arrived, he had found the moment too +important for any special reference to the little bough above his head. +Not so, however, Patty Coverdale. “It’s a shame,” said she, bursting out +of the room, “and if I’d known what you had done, nothing on earth should +have induced me to go in. I won’t enter the room till I know that you +have taken it out.” Nevertheless her sister Kate was bold enough to +solve the mystery before the evening was over. + + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MISTLETOE BOUGH*** + + +******* This file should be named 3719-0.txt or 3719-0.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/7/1/3719 + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will +be renamed. + +Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright +law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, +so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United +States without permission and without paying copyright +royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part +of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm +concept and trademark. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of +the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at +www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have +to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. + + + + +Title: The Mistletoe Bough + + +Author: Anthony Trollope + + + +Release Date: January 16, 2015 [eBook #3719] +[This file was first posted on August 7, 2001] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MISTLETOE BOUGH*** +</pre> +<p>Transcribed from the 1864 Chapman and Hall “Tales of All +Countries” edition by David Price, email +ccx074@pglaf.org</p> +<h1>THE MISTLETOE BOUGH.</h1> +<p>“Let the boys have it if they like it,” said Mrs. +Garrow, pleading to her only daughter on behalf of her two +sons.</p> +<p>“Pray don’t, mamma,” said Elizabeth +Garrow. “It only means romping. To me all that +is detestable, and I am sure it is not the sort of thing that +Miss Holmes would like.”</p> +<p>“We always had it at Christmas when we were +young.”</p> +<p>“But, mamma, the world is so changed.”</p> +<p>The point in dispute was one very delicate in its nature, +hardly to be discussed in all its bearings, even in fiction, and +the very mention of which between mother and daughter showed a +great amount of close confidence between them. It was no +less than this. Should that branch of mistletoe which Frank +Garrow had brought home with him out of the Lowther woods be hung +up on Christmas Eve in the dining-room at Thwaite Hall, according +to his wishes; or should permission for such hanging be +positively refused? It was clearly a thing not to be done +after such a discussion, and therefore the decision given by Mrs. +Garrow was against it.</p> +<p>I am inclined to think that Miss Garrow was right in saying +that the world is changed as touching mistletoe boughs. +Kissing, I fear, is less innocent now than it used to be when our +grand-mothers were alive, and we have become more fastidious in +our amusements. Nevertheless, I think that she made herself +fairly open to the raillery with which her brothers attacked +her.</p> +<p>“Honi soit qui mal y pense,” said Frank, who was +eighteen.</p> +<p>“Nobody will want to kiss you, my lady Fineairs,” +said Harry, who was just a year younger.</p> +<p>“Because you choose to be a Puritan, there are to be no +more cakes and ale in the house,” said Frank.</p> +<p>“Still waters run deep; we all know that,” said +Harry.</p> +<p>The boys had not been present when the matter was decided +between Mrs. Garrow and her daughter, nor had the mother been +present when these little amenities had passed between the +brothers and sister.</p> +<p>“Only that mamma has said it, and I wouldn’t seem +to go against her,” said Frank, “I’d ask my +father. He wouldn’t give way to such nonsense, I +know.”</p> +<p>Elizabeth turned away without answering, and left the +room. Her eyes were full of tears, but she would not let +them see that they had vexed her. They were only two days +home from school, and for the last week before their coming, all +her thoughts had been to prepare for their Christmas +pleasures. She had arranged their rooms, making everything +warm and pretty. Out of her own pocket she had bought a +shot-belt for one, and skates for the other. She had told +the old groom that her pony was to belong exclusively to Master +Harry for the holidays, and now Harry told her that still waters +ran deep. She had been driven to the use of all her +eloquence in inducing her father to purchase that gun for Frank, +and now Frank called her a Puritan. And why? She did +not choose that a mistletoe bough should be hung in her +father’s hall, when Godfrey Holmes was coming to visit +him. She could not explain this to Frank, but Frank might +have had the wit to understand it. But Frank was thinking +only of Patty Coverdale, a blue-eyed little romp of sixteen, who, +with her sister Kate, was coming from Penrith to spend the +Christmas at Thwaite Hall. Elizabeth left the room with her +slow, graceful step, hiding her tears,—hiding all emotion, +as latterly she had taught herself that it was feminine to +do. “There goes my lady Fineairs,” said Harry, +sending his shrill voice after her.</p> +<p>Thwaite Hall was not a place of much pretension. It was +a moderate-sized house, surrounded by pretty gardens and +shrubberies, close down upon the river Eamont, on the +Westmoreland side of the river, looking over to a lovely wooded +bank in Cumberland. All the world knows that the Eamont +runs out of Ulleswater, dividing the two counties, passing under +Penrith Bridge and by the old ruins of Brougham Castle, below +which it joins the Eden. Thwaite Hall nestled down close +upon the clear rocky stream about half way between Ulleswater and +Penrith, and had been built just at a bend of the river. +The windows of the dining-parlour and of the drawing-room stood +at right angles to each other, and yet each commanded a reach of +the stream. Immediately from a side of the house steps were +cut down through the red rock to the water’s edge, and here +a small boat was always moored to a chain. The chain was +stretched across the river, fixed to the staples driven into the +rock on either side, and the boat was pulled backwards and +forwards over the stream without aid from oars or paddles. +From the opposite side a path led through the woods and across +the fields to Penrith, and this was the route commonly used +between Thwaite Hall and the town.</p> +<p>Major Garrow was a retired officer of Engineers, who had seen +service in all parts of the world, and who was now spending the +evening of his days on a small property which had come to him +from his father. He held in his own hands about twenty +acres of land, and he was the owner of one small farm close by, +which was let to a tenant. That, together with his +half-pay, and the interest of his wife’s thousand pounds, +sufficed to educate his children and keep the wolf at a +comfortable distance from his door. He himself was a spare +thin man, with quiet, lazy, literary habits. He had done +the work of life, but had so done it as to permit of his enjoying +that which was left to him. His sole remaining care was the +establishment of his children; and, as far as he could see, he +had no ground for anticipating disappointment. They were +clever, good-looking, well-disposed young people, and upon the +whole it may be said that the sun shone brightly on Thwaite +Hall. Of Mrs. Garrow it may suffice to say that she always +deserved such sunshine.</p> +<p>For years past it had been the practice of the family to have +some sort of gathering at Thwaite Hall during Christmas. +Godfrey Holmes had been left under the guardianship of Major +Garrow, and, as he had always spent his Christmas holidays with +his guardian, this, perhaps, had given rise to the +practice. Then the Coverdales were cousins of the Garrows, +and they had usually been there as children. At the +Christmas last past the custom had been broken, for young Holmes +had been abroad. Previous to that, they had all been +children, excepting him. But now that they were to meet +again, they were no longer children. Elizabeth, at any +rate, was not so, for she had already counted nineteen +winters. And Isabella Holmes was coming. Now Isabella +was two years older than Elizabeth, and had been educated in +Brussels; moreover she was comparatively a stranger at Thwaite +Hall, never having been at those early Christmas meetings.</p> +<p>And now I must take permission to begin my story by telling a +lady’s secret. Elizabeth Garrow had already been in +love with Godfrey Holmes, or perhaps it might be more becoming to +say that Godfrey Holmes had already been in love with her. +They had already been engaged; and, alas! they had already agreed +that that engagement should be broken off!</p> +<p>Young Holmes was now twenty-seven years of age, and was +employed in a bank at Liverpool, not as a clerk, but as +assistant-manager, with a large salary. He was a man well +to do in the world, who had money also of his own, and who might +well afford to marry. Some two years since, on the eve of +leaving Thwaite Hall, he had with low doubting whisper told +Elizabeth that he loved her, and she had flown trembling to her +mother. “Godfrey, my boy,” the father said to +him, as he parted with him the next morning, “Bessy is only +a child, and too young to think of this yet.” At the +next Christmas Godfrey was in Italy, and the thing was gone +by,—so at least the father and mother said to each +other. But the young people had met in the summer, and one +joyful letter had come from the girl home to her mother. +“I have accepted him. Dearest, dearest mamma, I do +love him. But don’t tell papa yet, for I have not +quite accepted him. I think I am sure, but I am not quite +sure. I am not quite sure about him.”</p> +<p>And then, two days after that, there had come a letter that +was not at all joyful. “Dearest Mamma,—It is +not to be. It is not written in the book. We have +both agreed that it will not do. I am so glad that you have +not told dear papa, for I could never make him understand. +You will understand, for I shall tell you everything, down to his +very words. But we have agreed that there shall be no +quarrel. It shall be exactly as it was, and he will come at +Christmas all the same. It would never do that he and papa +should be separated, nor could we now put off Isabella. It +is better so in every way, for there is and need be no +quarrel. We still like each other. I am sure I like +him, but I know that I should not make him happy as his +wife. He says it is my fault. I, at any rate, have +never told him that I thought it his.” From all which +it will be seen that the confidence between the mother and +daughter was very close.</p> +<p>Elizabeth Garrow was a very good girl, but it might almost be +a question whether she was not too good. She had learned, +or thought that she had learned, that most girls are vapid, +silly, and useless,—given chiefly to pleasure-seeking and a +hankering after lovers; and she had resolved that she would not +be such a one.</p> +<p>Industry, self-denial, and a religious purpose in life, were +the tasks which she set herself; and she went about the +performance of them with much courage. But such tasks, +though they are excellently well adapted to fit a young lady for +the work of living, may also be carried too far, and thus have +the effect of unfitting her for that work. When Elizabeth +Garrow made up her mind that the finding of a husband was not the +only purpose of life, she did very well. It is very well +that a young lady should feel herself capable of going through +the world happily without one. But in teaching herself this +she also taught herself to think that there was a certain merit +in refusing herself the natural delight of a lover, even though +the possession of the lover were compatible with all her duties +to herself, her father and mother, and the world at large. +It was not that she had determined to have no lover. She +made no such resolve, and when the proper lover came he was +admitted to her heart. But she declared to herself +unconsciously that she must put a guard upon herself, lest she +should be betrayed into weakness by her own happiness. She +had resolved that in loving her lord she would not worship him, +and that in giving her heart she would only so give it as it +should be given to a human creature like herself. She had +acted on these high resolves, and hence it had come to +pass,—not unnaturally,—that Mr. Godfrey Holmes had +told her that it was “her fault.”</p> +<p>She was a pretty, fair girl, with soft dark-brown hair, and +soft long dark eyelashes. Her grey eyes, though quiet in +their tone, were tender and lustrous. Her face was oval, +and the lines of her cheek and chin perfect in their +symmetry. She was generally quiet in her demeanour, but +when moved she could rouse herself to great energy, and speak +with feeling and almost with fire. Her fault was a +reverence for martyrdom in general, and a feeling, of which she +was unconscious, that it became a young woman to be unhappy in +secret;—that it became a young woman, I might rather say, +to have a source of unhappiness hidden from the world in general, +and endured without any detriment to her outward +cheerfulness. We know the story of the Spartan boy who held +the fox under his tunic. The fox was biting into +him,—into the very entrails; but the young hero spake never +a word. Now Bessy Garrow was inclined to think that it was +a good thing to have a fox always biting, so that the torment +caused no ruffling to her outward smiles. Now at this +moment the fox within her bosom was biting her sore enough, but +she bore it without flinching.</p> +<p>“If you would rather that he should not come I will have +it arranged,” her mother had said to her.</p> +<p>“Not for worlds,” she had answered. “I +should never think well of myself again.”</p> +<p>Her mother had changed her own mind more than once as to the +conduct in this matter which might be best for her to follow, +thinking solely of her daughter’s welfare. “If +he comes they will be reconciled, and she will be happy,” +had been her first idea. But then there was a stern +fixedness of purpose in Bessy’s words when she spoke of Mr. +Holmes, which had expelled this hope, and Mrs. Garrow had for a +while thought it better that the young man should not come. +But Bessy would not permit this. It would vex her father, +put out of course the arrangements of other people, and display +weakness on her own part. He should come, and she would +endure without flinching while the fox gnawed at her.</p> +<p>That battle of the mistletoe had been fought on the morning +before Christmas-day, and the Holmeses came on +Christmas-eve. Isabella was comparatively a stranger, and +therefore received at first the greater share of attention. +She and Elizabeth had once seen each other, and for the last year +or two had corresponded, but personally they had never been +intimate. Unfortunately for the latter, that story of +Godfrey’s offer and acceptance had been communicated to +Isabella, as had of course the immediately subsequent story of +their separation. But now it would be almost impossible to +avoid the subject in conversation. “Dearest Isabella, +let it be as though it had never been,” she had said in one +of her letters. But sometimes it is very difficult to let +things be as though they had never been.</p> +<p>The first evening passed over very well. The two +Coverdale girls were there, and there had been much talking and +merry laughter, rather juvenile in its nature, but on the whole +none the worse for that. Isabella Holmes was a fine, tall, +handsome girl; good-humoured, and well disposed to be pleased; +rather Frenchified in her manners, and quite able to take care of +herself. But she was not above round games, and did not +turn up her nose at the boys. Godfrey behaved himself +excellently, talking much to the Major, but by no means avoiding +Miss Garrow. Mrs. Garrow, though she had known him since he +was a boy, had taken an aversion to him since he had quarrelled +with her daughter; but there was no room on this first night for +showing such aversion, and everything went off well.</p> +<p>“Godfrey is very much improved,” the Major said to +his wife that night.</p> +<p>“Do you think so?”</p> +<p>“Indeed I do. He has filled out and become a fine +man.”</p> +<p>“In personal appearance, you mean. Yes, he is +well-looking enough.”</p> +<p>“And in his manner, too. He is doing uncommonly +well in Liverpool, I can tell you; and if he should think of +Bessy—”</p> +<p>“There is nothing of that sort,” said Mrs. +Garrow.</p> +<p>“He did speak to me, you know,—two years +ago. Bessy was too young then, and so indeed was he. +But if she likes him—”</p> +<p>“I don’t think she does.”</p> +<p>“Then there’s an end of it.” And so +they went to bed.</p> +<p>“Frank,” said the sister to her elder brother, +knocking at his door when they had all gone up stairs, “may +I come in,—if you are not in bed?”</p> +<p>“In bed,” said he, looking up with some little +pride from his Greek book; “I’ve one hundred and +fifty lines to do before I can get to bed. It’ll be +two, I suppose. I’ve got to mug uncommon hard these +holidays. I have only one more half, you know, and +then—”</p> +<p>“Don’t overdo it, Frank.”</p> +<p>“No; I won’t overdo it. I mean to take one +day a week, and work eight hours a day on the other five. +That will be forty hours a week, and will give me just two +hundred hours for the holidays. I have got it all down here +on a table. That will be a hundred and five for Greek play, +forty for Algebra—” and so he explained to her the +exact destiny of all his long hours of proposed labour. He +had as yet been home a day and a half, and had succeeded in +drawing out with red lines and blue figures the table which he +showed her. “If I can do that, it will be pretty +well; won’t it?”</p> +<p>“But, Frank, you have come home for your +holidays,—to enjoy yourself?”</p> +<p>“But a fellow must work now-a-days.”</p> +<p>“Don’t overdo it, dear; that’s all. +But, Frank, I could not rest if I went to bed without speaking to +you. You made me unhappy to-day.”</p> +<p>“Did I, Bessy?”</p> +<p>“You called me a Puritan, and then you quoted that +ill-natured French proverb at me. Do you really believe +your sister thinks evil, Frank?” and as she spoke she put +her arm caressingly round his neck.</p> +<p>“Of course I don’t.”</p> +<p>“Then why say so? Harry is so much younger and so +thoughtless that I can bear what he says without so much +suffering. But if you and I are not friends I shall be very +wretched. If you knew how I have looked forward to your +coming home!”</p> +<p>“I did not mean to vex you, and I won’t say such +things again.”</p> +<p>“That’s my own Frank. What I said to mamma, +I said because I thought it right; but you must not say that I am +a Puritan. I would do anything in my power to make your +holidays bright and pleasant. I know that boys require so +much more to amuse them than girls do. Good night, dearest; +pray don’t overdo yourself with work, and do take care of +your eyes.”</p> +<p>So saying she kissed him and went her way. In twenty +minutes after that, he had gone to sleep over his book; and when +he woke up to find the candle guttering down, he resolved that he +would not begin his measured hours till Christmas-day was fairly +over.</p> +<p>The morning of Christmas-day passed very quietly. They +all went to church, and then sat round the fire chatting until +the four o’clock dinner was ready. The Coverdale +girls thought it was rather more dull than former Thwaite Hall +festivities, and Frank was seen to yawn. But then everybody +knows that the real fun of Christmas never begins till the day +itself be passed. The beef and pudding are ponderous, and +unless there be absolute children in the party, there is a +difficulty in grafting any special afternoon amusements on the +Sunday pursuits of the morning. In the evening they were to +have a dance; that had been distinctly promised to Patty +Coverdale; but the dance would not commence till eight. The +beef and pudding were ponderous, but with due efforts they were +overcome and disappeared. The glass of port was sipped, the +almonds and raisins were nibbled, and then the ladies left the +room. Ten minutes after that Elizabeth found herself seated +with Isabella Holmes over the fire in her father’s little +book-room. It was not by her that this meeting was +arranged, for she dreaded such a constrained confidence; but of +course it could not be avoided, and perhaps it might be as well +now as hereafter.</p> +<p>“Bessy,” said the elder girl, “I am dying to +be alone with you for a moment.”</p> +<p>“Well, you shall not die; that is, if being alone with +me will save you.”</p> +<p>“I have so much to say to you. And if you have any +true friendship in you, you also will have so much to say to +me.”</p> +<p>Miss Garrow perhaps had no true friendship in her at that +moment, for she would gladly have avoided saying anything, had +that been possible. But in order to prove that she was not +deficient in friendship, she gave her friend her hand.</p> +<p>“And now tell me everything about Godfrey,” said +Isabella.</p> +<p>“Dear Bella, I have nothing to tell;—literally +nothing.”</p> +<p>“That is nonsense. Stop a moment, dear, and +understand that I do not mean to offend you. It cannot be +that you have nothing to tell, if you choose to tell it. +You are not the girl to have accepted Godfrey without loving him, +nor is he the man to have asked you without loving you. +When you write me word that you have changed your mind, as you +might about a dress, of course I know you have not told me +all. Now I insist upon knowing it,—that is, if we are +to be friends. I would not speak a word to Godfrey till I +had seen you, in order that I might hear your story +first.”</p> +<p>“Indeed, Bella, there is no story to tell.”</p> +<p>“Then I must ask him.”</p> +<p>“If you wish to play the part of a true friend to me, +you will let the matter pass by and say nothing. You must +understand that, circumstanced as we are, your brother’s +visit here,—what I mean is, that it is very difficult for +me to act and speak exactly as I should do, and a few unfortunate +words spoken may make my position unendurable.”</p> +<p>“Will you answer me one question?”</p> +<p>“I cannot tell. I think I will.”</p> +<p>“Do you love him?” For a moment or two Bessy +remained silent, striving to arrange her words so that they +should contain no falsehood, and yet betray no truth. +“Ah, I see you do,” continued Miss Holmes. +“But of course you do. Why else did you accept +him?”</p> +<p>“I fancied that I did, as young ladies do sometimes +fancy.”</p> +<p>“And will you say that you do not, now?” +Again Bessy was silent, and then her friend rose from her +seat. “I see it all,” she said. +“What a pity it was that you both had not some friend like +me by you at the time! But perhaps it may not be too +late.”</p> +<p>I need not repeat at length all the protestations which upon +this were poured forth with hot energy by poor Bessy. She +endeavoured to explain how great had been the difficulty of her +position. This Christmas visit had been arranged before +that unhappy affair at Liverpool had occurred. +Isabella’s visit had been partly one of business, it being +necessary that certain money affairs should be arranged between +her, her brother, and the Major. “I +determined,” said Bessy, “not to let my feelings +stand in the way; and hoped that things might settle down to +their former friendly footing. I already fear that I have +been wrong, but it will be ungenerous in you to punish +me.” Then she went on to say that if anybody +attempted to interfere with her, she should at once go away to +her mother’s sister, who lived at Hexham, in +Northumberland.</p> +<p>Then came the dance, and the hearts of Kate and Patty +Coverdale were at last happy. But here again poor Bessy was +made to understand how terribly difficult was this experiment of +entertaining on a footing of friendship a lover with whom she had +quarrelled only a month or two before. That she must as a +necessity become the partner of Godfrey Holmes she had already +calculated, and so much she was prepared to endure. Her +brothers would of course dance with the Coverdale girls, and her +father would of course stand up with Isabella. There was no +other possible arrangement, at any rate as a beginning.</p> +<p>She had schooled herself, too, as to the way in which she +would speak to him on the occasion, and how she would remain +mistress of herself and of her thoughts. But when the time +came the difficulty was almost too much for her.</p> +<p>“You do not care much for dancing, if I remember?” +said he.</p> +<p>“Oh yes, I do. Not as Patty Coverdale does. +It’s a passion with her. But then I am older than +Patty Coverdale.” After that he was silent for a +minute or two.</p> +<p>“It seems so odd to me to be here again,” he +said. It was odd;—she felt that it was odd. But +he ought not to have said so.</p> +<p>“Two years make a great difference. The boys have +grown so much.”</p> +<p>“Yes, and there are other things,” said he.</p> +<p>“Bella was never here before; at least not with +you.”</p> +<p>“No. But I did not exactly mean that. All +that would not make the place so strange. But your mother +seems altered to me. She used to be almost like my own +mother.”</p> +<p>“I suppose she finds that you are a more formidable +person as you grow older. It was all very well scolding you +when you were a clerk in the bank, but it does not do to scold +the manager. These are the penalties men pay for becoming +great.”</p> +<p>“It is not my greatness that stands in my way, +but—”</p> +<p>“Then I’m sure I cannot say what it is. But +Patty will scold you if you do not mind the figure, though you +were the whole Board of Directors packed into one. She +won’t respect you if you neglect your present +work.”</p> +<p>When Bessy went to bed that night she began to feel that she +had attempted too much. “Mamma,” she said, +“could I not make some excuse and go away to Aunt +Mary?”</p> +<p>“What now?”</p> +<p>“Yes, mamma; now; to-morrow. I need not say that +it will make me very unhappy to be away at such a time, but I +begin to think that it will be better.”</p> +<p>“What will papa say?”</p> +<p>“You must tell him all.”</p> +<p>“And Aunt Mary must be told also. You would not +like that. Has he said anything?”</p> +<p>“No, nothing;—very little, that is. But +Bella has spoken to me. Oh, mamma, I think we have been +very wrong in this. That is, I have been wrong. I +feel as though I should disgrace myself, and turn the whole party +here into a misfortune.”</p> +<p>It would be dreadful, that telling of the story to her father +and to her aunt, and such a necessity must, if possible, be +avoided. Should such a necessity actually come, the former +task would, no doubt, be done by her mother, but that would not +lighten the load materially. After a fortnight she would +again meet her father, and would be forced to discuss it. +“I will remain if it be possible,” she said; +“but, mamma, if I wish to go, you will not stop +me?” Her mother promised that she would not stop her, +but strongly advised her to stand her ground.</p> +<p>On the following morning, when she came down stairs before +breakfast, she found Frank standing in the hall with his gun, of +which he was trying the lock. “It is not loaded, is +it, Frank?” said she.</p> +<p>“Oh dear, no; no one thinks of loading now-a-days till +he has got out of the house. Directly after breakfast I am +going across with Godfrey to the back of Greystock, to see after +some moor-fowl. He asked me to go, and I couldn’t +well refuse.”</p> +<p>“Of course not. Why should you?”</p> +<p>“It will be deuced hard work to make up the time. +I was to have been up at four this morning, but that alarum went +off and never woke me. However, I shall be able to do +something to-night.”</p> +<p>“Don’t make a slavery of your holidays, +Frank. What’s the good of having a new gun if +you’re not to use it?”</p> +<p>“It’s not the new gun. I’m not such a +child as that comes to. But, you see, Godfrey is here, and +one ought to be civil to him. I’ll tell you what I +want you girls to do, Bessy. You must come and meet us on +our way home. Come over in the boat and along the path to +the Patterdale road. We’ll be there under the hill +about five.”</p> +<p>“And if you are not, we are to wait in the +snow?”</p> +<p>“Don’t make difficulties, Bessy. I tell you +we will be there. We are to go in the cart, and so shall +have plenty of time.”</p> +<p>“And how do you know the other girls will go?”</p> +<p>“Why, to tell you the truth, Patty Coverdale has +promised. As for Miss Holmes, if she won’t, why you +must leave her at home with mamma. But Kate and Patty +can’t come without you.”</p> +<p>“Your discretion has found that out, has it?”</p> +<p>“They say so. But you will come; won’t you, +Bessy? As for waiting, it’s all nonsense. Of +course you can walk on. But we’ll be at the stile by +five. I’ve got my watch, you know.” And +then Bessy promised him. What would she not have done for +him that was in her power to do?</p> +<p>“Go! Of course I’ll go,” said Miss +Holmes. “I’m up to anything. I’d +have gone with them this morning, and have taken a gun if +they’d asked me. But, by-the-bye, I’d better +not.”</p> +<p>“Why not?” said Patty, who was hardly yet without +fear lest something should mar the expedition.</p> +<p>“What will three gentlemen do with four +ladies?”</p> +<p>“Oh, I forgot,” said Patty innocently.</p> +<p>“I’m sure I don’t care,” said Kate; +“you may have Harry if you like.”</p> +<p>“Thank you for nothing,” said Miss Holmes. +“I want one for myself. It’s all very well for +you to make the offer, but what should I do if Harry +wouldn’t have me? There are two sides, you know, to +every bargain.”</p> +<p>“I’m sure he isn’t anything to me,” +said Kate. “Why, he’s not quite seventeen years +old yet!”</p> +<p>“Poor boy! What a shame to dispose of him so +soon. We’ll let him off for a year or two; +won’t we, Miss Coverdale? But as there seems by +acknowledgment to be one beau with unappropriated +services—”</p> +<p>“I’m sure I have appropriated nobody,” said +Patty, “and didn’t intend.”</p> +<p>“Godfrey, then, is the only knight whose services are +claimed,” said Miss Holmes, looking at Bessy. Bessy +made no immediate answer with either her eyes or tongue; but when +the Coverdales were gone, she took her new friend to task.</p> +<p>“How can you fill those young girls’ heads with +such nonsense?”</p> +<p>“Nature has done that, my dear.”</p> +<p>“But nature should be trained; should it not? You +will make them think that those foolish boys are in love with +them.”</p> +<p>“The foolish boys, as you call them, will look after +that themselves. It seems to me that the foolish boys know +what they are about better than some of their +elders.” And then, after a moment’s pause, she +added, “As for my brother, I have no patience with +him.”</p> +<p>“Pray do not discuss your brother,” said +Bessy. “And, Bella, unless you wish to drive me away, +pray do not speak of him and me together as you did just +now.”</p> +<p>“Are you so bad as that,—that the slightest +commonplace joke upsets you? Would not his services be due +to you as a matter of course? If you are so sore about it, +you will betray your own secret.”</p> +<p>“I have no secret,—none at least from you, or from +mamma; and, indeed, none from him. We were both very +foolish, thinking that we knew each other and our own hearts, +when we knew neither.”</p> +<p>“I hate to hear people talk of knowing their +hearts. My idea is, that if you like a young man, and he +asks you to marry him, you ought to have him. That is, if +there is enough to live on. I don’t know what more is +wanted. But girls are getting to talk and think as though +they were to send their hearts through some fiery furnace of +trial before they may give them up to a husband’s +keeping. I am not at all sure that the French fashion is +not the best, and that these things shouldn’t be managed by +the fathers and mothers, or perhaps by the family lawyers. +Girls who are so intent upon knowing their own hearts generally +end by knowing nobody’s heart but their own; and then they +die old maids.”</p> +<p>“Better that than give themselves to the keeping of +those they don’t know and cannot esteem.”</p> +<p>“That’s a matter of taste. I mean to take +the first that comes, so long as he looks like a gentleman, and +has not less than eight hundred a year. Now Godfrey does +look like a gentleman, and has double that. If I had such a +chance I shouldn’t think twice about it.”</p> +<p>“But I have no such chance.”</p> +<p>“That’s the way the wind blows; is it?”</p> +<p>“No, no. Oh, Bella, pray, pray leave me +alone. Pray do not interfere. There is no wind +blowing in any way. All that I want is your silence and +your sympathy.”</p> +<p>“Very well. I will be silent and sympathetic as +the grave. Only don’t imagine that I am cold as the +grave also. I don’t exactly appreciate your ideas; +but if I can do no good, I will at any rate endeavour to do no +harm.”</p> +<p>After lunch, at about three, they started on their walk, and +managed to ferry themselves over the river. “Oh, do +let me, Bessy,” said Kate Coverdale. “I +understand all about it. Look here, Miss Holmes. You +pull the chain through your hands—”</p> +<p>“And inevitably tear your gloves to pieces,” said +Miss Holmes. Kate certainly had done so, and did not seem +to be particularly well pleased with the accident. +“There’s a nasty nail in the chain,” she +said. “I wonder those stupid boys did not tell +us.”</p> +<p>Of course they reached the trysting-place much too soon, and +were very tired of walking up and down to keep their feet warm, +before the sportsmen came up. But this was their own fault, +seeing that they had reached the stile half an hour before the +time fixed.</p> +<p>“I never will go anywhere to meet gentlemen +again,” said Miss Holmes. “It is most +preposterous that ladies should be left in the snow for an +hour. Well, young men, what sport have you had?”</p> +<p>“I shot the big black cock,” said Harry.</p> +<p>“Did you indeed?” said Kate Coverdale.</p> +<p>“And here are the feathers out of his tail for +you. He dropped them in the water, and I had to go in after +them up to my middle. But I told you that I would, so I was +determined to get them.”</p> +<p>“Oh, you silly, silly boy,” said Kate. +“But I’ll keep them for ever. I will +indeed.” This was said a little apart, for Harry had +managed to draw the young lady aside before he presented the +feathers.</p> +<p>Frank had also his trophies for Patty, and the tale to tell of +his own prowess. In that he was a year older than his +brother, he was by a year’s growth less ready to tender his +present to his lady-love, openly in the presence of them +all. But he found his opportunity, and then he and Patty +went on a little in advance. Kate also was deep in her +consolations to Harry for his ducking; and therefore the four +disposed of themselves in the manner previously suggested by Miss +Holmes. Miss Holmes, therefore, and her brother, and Bessy +Garrow, were left together in the path, and discussed the +performances of the day in a manner that elicited no very +ecstatic interest. So they walked for a mile, and by +degrees the conversation between them dwindled down almost to +nothing.</p> +<p>“There is nothing I dislike so much as coming out with +people younger than myself,” said Miss Holmes. +“One always feels so old and dull. Listen to those +children there; they make me feel as though I were an old maiden +aunt, brought out with them to do propriety.”</p> +<p>“Patty won’t at all approve if she hears you call +her a child.”</p> +<p>“Nor shall I approve, if she treats me like an old +woman,” and then she stepped on and joined the +children. “I wouldn’t spoil even their sport if +I could help it,” she said to herself. “But +with them I shall only be a temporary nuisance; if I remain +behind I shall become a permanent evil.” And thus +Bessy and her old lover were left by themselves.</p> +<p>“I hope you will get on well with Bella,” said +Godfrey, when they had remained silent for a minute or two.</p> +<p>“Oh, yes. She is so good-natured and +light-spirited that everybody must like her. She has been +used to so much amusement and active life, that I know she must +find it very dull here.”</p> +<p>“She is never dull anywhere,—even at Liverpool, +which, for a young lady, I sometimes think the dullest place on +earth. I know it is for a man.”</p> +<p>“A man who has work to do can never be dull; can +he?”</p> +<p>“Indeed he can; as dull as death. I am so often +enough. I have never been very bright there, Bessy, since +you left us.”</p> +<p>There was nothing in his calling her Bessy, for it had become +a habit with him since they were children; and they had formerly +agreed that everything between them should be as it had been +before that foolish whisper of love had been spoken and +received. Indeed, provision had been made by them specially +on this point, so that there need be no awkwardness in this mode +of addressing each other. Such provision had seemed to be +very prudent, but it hardly had the desired effect on the present +occasion.</p> +<p>“I hardly know what you mean by brightness,” she +said, after a pause. “Perhaps it is not intended that +people’s lives should be what you call bright.”</p> +<p>“Life ought to be as bright as we can make +it.”</p> +<p>“It all depends on the meaning of the word. I +suppose we are not very bright here at Thwaite Hall, but yet we +think ourselves very happy.”</p> +<p>“I am sure you are,” said Godfrey. “I +very often think of you here.”</p> +<p>“We always think of places where we have been when we +were young,” said Bessy; and then again they walked on for +some way in silence, and Bessy began to increase her pace with +the view of catching the children. The present walk to her +was anything but bright, and she bethought herself with dismay +that there were still two miles before she reached the Ferry.</p> +<p>“Bessy,” Godfrey said at last. And then he +stopped as though he were doubtful how to proceed. She, +however, did not say a word, but walked on quickly, as though her +only hope was in catching the party before her. But they +also were walking quickly, for Bella was determined that she +would not be caught.</p> +<p>“Bessy, I must speak to you once of what passed between +us at Liverpool.”</p> +<p>“Must you?” said she.</p> +<p>“Unless you positively forbid it.”</p> +<p>“Stop, Godfrey,” she said. And they did stop +in the path, for now she no longer thought of putting an end to +her embarrassment by overtaking her companions. “If +any such words are necessary for your comfort, it would hardly +become me to forbid them. Were I to speak so harshly you +would accuse me afterwards in your own heart. It must be +for you to judge whether it is well to reopen a wound that is +nearly healed.”</p> +<p>“But with me it is not nearly healed. The wound is +open always.”</p> +<p>“There are some hurts,” she said, “which do +not admit of an absolute and perfect cure, unless after long +years.” As she said so, she could not but think how +much better was his chance of such perfect cure than her +own. With her,—so she said to herself,—such +curing was all but impossible; whereas with him, it was as +impossible that the injury should last.</p> +<p>“Bessy,” he said, and he again stopped her on the +narrow path, standing immediately before her on the way, +“you remember all the circumstances that made us +part?”</p> +<p>“Yes; I think I remember them.”</p> +<p>“And you still think that we were right to +part?”</p> +<p>She paused for a moment before she answered him; but it was +only for a moment, and then she spoke quite firmly. +“Yes, Godfrey, I do; I have thought about it much since +then. I have thought, I fear, to no good purpose about +aught else. But I have never thought that we had been +unwise in that.”</p> +<p>“And yet I think you loved me.”</p> +<p>“I am bound to confess I did so, as otherwise I must +confess myself a liar. I told you at the time that I loved +you, and I told you so truly. But it is better, ten times +better, that those who love should part, even though they still +should love, than that two should be joined together who are +incapable of making each other happy. Remember what you +told me.”</p> +<p>“I do remember.”</p> +<p>“You found yourself unhappy in your engagement, and you +said it was my fault.”</p> +<p>“Bessy, there is my hand. If you have ceased to +love me, there is an end of it. But if you love me still, +let all that be forgotten.”</p> +<p>“Forgotten, Godfrey! How can it be +forgotten? You were unhappy, and it was my fault. My +fault, as it would be if I tried to solace a sick child with +arithmetic, or feed a dog with grass. I had no right to +love you, knowing you as I did; and knowing also that my ways +would not be your ways. My punishment I understand, and it +is not more than I can bear; but I had hoped that your punishment +would have been soon over.”</p> +<p>“You are too proud, Bessy.”</p> +<p>“That is very likely. Frank says that I am a +Puritan, and pride was the worst of their sins.”</p> +<p>“Too proud and unbending. In marriage should not +the man and woman adapt themselves to each other?”</p> +<p>“When they are married, yes. And every girl who +thinks of marrying should know that in very much she must adapt +herself to her husband. But I do not think that a woman +should be the ivy, to take the direction of every branch of the +tree to which she clings. If she does so, what can be her +own character? But we must go on, or we shall be too +late.”</p> +<p>“And you will give me no other answer?”</p> +<p>“None other, Godfrey. Have you not just now, at +this very moment, told me that I was too proud? Can it be +possible that you should wish to tie yourself for life to female +pride? And if you tell me that now, at such a moment as +this, what would you tell me in the close intimacy of married +life, when the trifles of every day would have worn away the +courtesies of guest and lover?”</p> +<p>There was a sharpness of rebuke in this which Godfrey Holmes +could not at the moment overcome. Nevertheless he knew the +girl, and understood the workings of her heart and mind. +Now, in her present state, she could be unbending, proud, and +almost rough. In that she had much to lose in declining the +renewed offer which he made her, she would, as it were, +continually prompt herself to be harsh and inflexible. Had +he been poor, had she not loved him, had not all good things +seemed to have attended the promise of such a marriage, she would +have been less suspicious of herself in receiving the offer, and +more gracious in replying to it. Had he lost all his money +before he came back to her, she would have taken him at once; or +had he been deprived of an eye, or become crippled in his legs, +she would have done so. But, circumstanced as he was, she +had no motive to tenderness. There was an organic defect in +her character, which no doubt was plainly marked by its own bump +in her cranium,—the bump of philomartyrdom, it might +properly be called. She had shipwrecked her own happiness +in rejecting Godfrey Holmes; but it seemed to her to be the +proper thing that a well-behaved young lady should shipwreck her +own happiness. For the last month or two she had been +tossed about by the waters and was nearly drowned. Now +there was beautiful land again close to her, and a strong +pleasant hand stretched out to save her. But though she had +suffered terribly among the waves, she still thought it wrong to +be saved. It would be so pleasant to take that hand, so +sweet, so joyous, that it surely must be wrong. That was +her doctrine; and Godfrey Holmes, though he hardly analysed the +matter, partly understood that it was so. And yet, if once +she were landed on that green island, she would be so +happy. She spoke with scorn of a woman clinging to a tree +like ivy; and yet, were she once married, no woman would cling to +her husband with sweeter feminine tenacity than Bessy +Garrow. He spoke no further word to her as he walked home, +but in handing her down to the ferry-boat he pressed her +hand. For a second it seemed as though she had returned +this pressure. If so, the action was involuntary, and her +hand instantly resumed its stiffness to his touch.</p> +<p>It was late that night when Major Garrow went to his bedroom, +but his wife was still up, waiting for him. +“Well,” said she, “what has he said to +you? He has been with you above an hour.”</p> +<p>“Such stories are not very quickly told; and in this +case it was necessary to understand him very accurately. At +length I think I do understand him.”</p> +<p>It is not necessary to repeat at length all that was said on +that night between Major and Mrs. Garrow, as to the offer which +had now for a third time been made to their daughter. On +that evening, after the ladies had gone, and when the two boys +had taken themselves off, Godfrey Holmes told his tale to his +host, and had honestly explained to him what he believed to be +the state of his daughter’s feelings. “Now you +know all,” said he. “I do believe that she +loves me, and if she does, perhaps she may still listen to +you.” Major Garrow did not feel sure that he +“knew it all.” But when he had fully discussed +the matter that night with his wife, then he thought that perhaps +he had arrived at that knowledge.</p> +<p>On the following morning Bessy learned from the maid, at an +early hour, that Godfrey Holmes had left Thwaite Hall and gone +back to Liverpool. To the girl she said nothing on the +subject, but she felt obliged to say a word or two to +Bella. “It is his coming that I regret,” she +said;—“that he should have had the trouble and +annoyance for nothing. I acknowledge that it was my fault, +and I am very sorry.”</p> +<p>“It cannot be helped,” said Miss Holmes, somewhat +gravely. “As to his misfortunes, I presume that his +journeys between here and Liverpool are not the worst of +them.”</p> +<p>After breakfast on that day Bessy was summoned into her +father’s book-room, and found him there, and her mother +also. “Bessy,” said he, “sit down, my +dear. You know why Godfrey has left us this +morning?”</p> +<p>Bessy walked round the room, so that in sitting she might be +close to her mother and take her mother’s hand in her +own. “I suppose I do, papa,” she said.</p> +<p>“He was with me late last night, Bessy; and when he told +me what had passed between you I agreed with him that he had +better go.”</p> +<p>“It was better that he should go, papa.”</p> +<p>“But he has left a message for you.”</p> +<p>“A message, papa?”</p> +<p>“Yes, Bessy. And your mother agrees with me that +it had better be given to you. It is this,—that if +you will send him word to come again, he will be here by +Twelfth-night. He came before on my invitation, but if he +returns it must be on yours.”</p> +<p>“Oh, papa, I cannot.”</p> +<p>“I do not say that you can, but think of it calmly +before you altogether refuse. You shall give me your answer +on New Year’s morning.”</p> +<p>“Mamma knows that it would be impossible,” said +Bessy.</p> +<p>“Not impossible, dearest.”</p> +<p>“In such a matter you should do what you believe to be +right,” said her father.</p> +<p>“If I were to ask him here again, it would be telling +him that I would—”</p> +<p>“Exactly, Bessy. It would be telling him that you +would be his wife. He would understand it so, and so would +your mother and I. It must be so understood +altogether.”</p> +<p>“But, papa, when we were at Liverpool—”</p> +<p>“I have told him everything, dearest,” said Mrs. +Garrow.</p> +<p>“I think I understand the whole,” said the Major; +“and in such a matter as this I will not give you counsel +on either side. But you must remember that in making up +your mind, you must think of him as well as of yourself. If +you do not love him;—if you feel that as his wife you +should not love him, there is not another word to be said. +I need not explain to my daughter that under such circumstances +she would be wrong to encourage the visits of a suitor. But +your mother says you do love him.”</p> +<p>“I will not ask you. But if you do;—if you +have so told him, and allowed him to build up an idea of his +life-happiness on such telling, you will, I think, sin greatly +against him by allowing a false feminine pride to mar his +happiness. When once a girl has confessed to a man that she +loves him, the confession and the love together put upon her the +burden of a duty towards him, which she cannot with impunity +throw aside.” Then he kissed her, and bidding her +give him a reply on the morning of the new year, left her with +her mother.</p> +<p>She had four days for consideration, and they went past her by +no means easily. Could she have been alone with her mother, +the struggle would not have been so painful; but there was the +necessity that she should talk to Isabella Holmes, and the +necessity also that she should not neglect the Coverdales. +Nothing could have been kinder than Bella. She did not +speak on the subject till the morning of the last day, and then +only in a very few words. “Bessy,” she said, +“as you are great, be merciful.”</p> +<p>“But I am not great, and it would not be +mercy.”</p> +<p>“As to that,” said Bella, “he has surely a +right to his own opinion.”</p> +<p>On that evening she was sitting alone in her room when her +mother came to her, and her eyes were red with weeping. Pen +and paper were before her, as though she were resolved to write, +but hitherto no word had been written.</p> +<p>“Well, Bessy,” said her mother, sitting down close +beside her; “is the deed done?”</p> +<p>“What deed, mamma? Who says that I am to do +it?”</p> +<p>“The deed is not the writing, but the resolution to +write. Five words will be sufficient,—if only those +five words may be written.”</p> +<p>“It is for one’s whole life, mamma. For his +life, as well as my own.”</p> +<p>“True, Bessy;—that is quite true. But +equally true whether you bid him come or allow him to remain +away. That task of making up one’s mind for life, +must at last be done in some special moment of that +life.”</p> +<p>“Mamma, mamma; tell me what I should do.”</p> +<p>But this Mrs. Garrow would not do. “I will write +the words for you if you like,” she said, “but it is +you who must resolve that they shall be written. I cannot +bid my darling go away and leave me for another home;—I can +only say that in my heart I do believe that home would be a happy +one.”</p> +<p>It was morning before the note was written, but when the +morning came Bessy had written it and brought it to her +mother.</p> +<p>“You must take it to papa,” she said. Then +she went and hid herself from all eyes till the noon had +passed. “Dear Godfrey,” the letter ran, +“Papa says that you will return on Wednesday if I write to +ask you. Do come back to us,—if you wish it. +Yours always, Bessy.”</p> +<p>“It is as good as though she had filled the +sheet,” said the Major. But in sending it to Godfrey +Holmes, he did not omit a few accompanying remarks of his +own.</p> +<p>An answer came from Godfrey by return of post; and on the +afternoon of the sixth of January, Frank Garrow drove over to the +station at Penrith to meet him. On their way back to +Thwaite Hall there grew up a very close confidence between the +two future brothers-in-law, and Frank explained with great +perspicuity a little plan which he had arranged himself. +“As soon as it is dark, so that she won’t see it, +Harry will hang it up in the dining-room,” he said, +“and mind you go in there before you go anywhere +else.”</p> +<p>“I am very glad you have come back, Godfrey,” said +the Major, meeting him in the hall.</p> +<p>“God bless you, dear Godfrey,” said Mrs. Garrow, +“you will find Bessy in the dining-room,” she +whispered; but in so whispering she was quite unconscious of the +mistletoe bough.</p> +<p>And so also was Bessy, nor do I think that she was much more +conscious when that introduction was over. Godfrey had made +all manner of promises to Frank, but when the moment arrived, he +had found the moment too important for any special reference to +the little bough above his head. Not so, however, Patty +Coverdale. “It’s a shame,” said she, +bursting out of the room, “and if I’d known what you +had done, nothing on earth should have induced me to go in. +I won’t enter the room till I know that you have taken it +out.” Nevertheless her sister Kate was bold enough to +solve the mystery before the evening was over.</p> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MISTLETOE BOUGH***</p> +<pre> + + +***** This file should be named 3719-h.htm or 3719-h.zip****** + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/7/1/3719 + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will +be renamed. + +Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright +law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, +so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United +States without permission and without paying copyright +royalties. 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"It only means romping. +To me all that is detestable, and I am sure it is not the sort of +thing that Miss Holmes would like." + +"We always had it at Christmas when we were young." + +"But, mamma, the world is so changed." + +The point in dispute was one very delicate in its nature, hardly to +be discussed in all its bearings, even in fiction, and the very +mention of which between mother and daughter showed a great amount +of close confidence between them. It was no less than this. Should +that branch of mistletoe which Frank Garrow had brought home with +him out of the Lowther woods be hung up on Christmas Eve in the +dining-room at Thwaite Hall, according to his wishes; or should +permission for such hanging be positively refused? It was clearly a +thing not to be done after such a discussion, and therefore the +decision given by Mrs. Garrow was against it. + +I am inclined to think that Miss Garrow was right in saying that the +world is changed as touching mistletoe boughs. Kissing, I fear, is +less innocent now than it used to be when our grand-mothers were +alive, and we have become more fastidious in our amusements. +Nevertheless, I think that she made herself fairly open to the +raillery with which her brothers attacked her. + +"Honi soit qui mal y pense," said Frank, who was eighteen. + +"Nobody will want to kiss you, my lady Fineairs," said Harry, who +was just a year younger. + +"Because you choose to be a Puritan, there are to be no more cakes +and ale in the house," said Frank. + +"Still waters run deep; we all know that," said Harry. + +The boys had not been present when the matter was decided between +Mrs. Garrow and her daughter, nor had the mother been present when +these little amenities had passed between the brothers and sister. + +"Only that mamma has said it, and I wouldn't seem to go against +her," said Frank, "I'd ask my father. He wouldn't give way to such +nonsense, I know." + +Elizabeth turned away without answering, and left the room. Her +eyes were full of tears, but she would not let them see that they +had vexed her. They were only two days home from school, and for +the last week before their coming, all her thoughts had been to +prepare for their Christmas pleasures. She had arranged their +rooms, making everything warm and pretty. Out of her own pocket she +had bought a shot-belt for one, and skates for the other. She had +told the old groom that her pony was to belong exclusively to Master +Harry for the holidays, and now Harry told her that still waters ran +deep. She had been driven to the use of all her eloquence in +inducing her father to purchase that gun for Frank, and now Frank +called her a Puritan. And why? She did not choose that a mistletoe +bough should be hung in her father's hall, when Godfrey Holmes was +coming to visit him. She could not explain this to Frank, but Frank +might have had the wit to understand it. But Frank was thinking +only of Patty Coverdale, a blue-eyed little romp of sixteen, who, +with her sister Kate, was coming from Penrith to spend the Christmas +at Thwaite Hall. Elizabeth left the room with her slow, graceful +step, hiding her tears,--hiding all emotion, as latterly she had +taught herself that it was feminine to do. "There goes my lady +Fineairs," said Harry, sending his shrill voice after her. + +Thwaite Hall was not a place of much pretension. It was a moderate- +sized house, surrounded by pretty gardens and shrubberies, close +down upon the river Eamont, on the Westmoreland side of the river, +looking over to a lovely wooded bank in Cumberland. All the world +knows that the Eamont runs out of Ulleswater, dividing the two +counties, passing under Penrith Bridge and by the old ruins of +Brougham Castle, below which it joins the Eden. Thwaite Hall +nestled down close upon the clear rocky stream about half way +between Ulleswater and Penrith, and had been built just at a bend of +the river. The windows of the dining-parlour and of the drawing- +room stood at right angles to each other, and yet each commanded a +reach of the stream. Immediately from a side of the house steps +were cut down through the red rock to the water's edge, and here a +small boat was always moored to a chain. The chain was stretched +across the river, fixed to the staples driven into the rock on +either side, and the boat was pulled backwards and forwards over the +stream without aid from oars or paddles. From the opposite side a +path led through the woods and across the fields to Penrith, and +this was the route commonly used between Thwaite Hall and the town. + +Major Garrow was a retired officer of Engineers, who had seen +service in all parts of the world, and who was now spending the +evening of his days on a small property which had come to him from +his father. He held in his own hands about twenty acres of land, +and he was the owner of one small farm close by, which was let to a +tenant. That, together with his half-pay, and the interest of his +wife's thousand pounds, sufficed to educate his children and keep +the wolf at a comfortable distance from his door. He himself was a +spare thin man, with quiet, lazy, literary habits. He had done the +work of life, but had so done it as to permit of his enjoying that +which was left to him. His sole remaining care was the +establishment of his children; and, as far as he could see, he had +no ground for anticipating disappointment. They were clever, good- +looking, well-disposed young people, and upon the whole it may be +said that the sun shone brightly on Thwaite Hall. Of Mrs. Garrow it +may suffice to say that she always deserved such sunshine. + +For years past it had been the practice of the family to have some +sort of gathering at Thwaite Hall during Christmas. Godfrey Holmes +had been left under the guardianship of Major Garrow, and, as he had +always spent his Christmas holidays with his guardian, this, +perhaps, had given rise to the practice. Then the Coverdales were +cousins of the Garrows, and they had usually been there as children. +At the Christmas last past the custom had been broken, for young +Holmes had been abroad. Previous to that, they had all been +children, excepting him. But now that they were to meet again, they +were no longer children. Elizabeth, at any rate, was not so, for +she had already counted nineteen winters. And Isabella Holmes was +coming. Now Isabella was two years older than Elizabeth, and had +been educated in Brussels; moreover she was comparatively a stranger +at Thwaite Hall, never having been at those early Christmas +meetings. + +And now I must take permission to begin my story by telling a lady's +secret. Elizabeth Garrow had already been in love with Godfrey +Holmes, or perhaps it might be more becoming to say that Godfrey +Holmes had already been in love with her. They had already been +engaged; and, alas! they had already agreed that that engagement +should be broken off! + +Young Holmes was now twenty-seven years of age, and was employed in +a bank at Liverpool, not as a clerk, but as assistant-manager, with +a large salary. He was a man well to do in the world, who had money +also of his own, and who might well afford to marry. Some two years +since, on the eve of leaving Thwaite Hall, he had with low doubting +whisper told Elizabeth that he loved her, and she had flown +trembling to her mother. "Godfrey, my boy," the father said to him, +as he parted with him the next morning, "Bessy is only a child, and +too young to think of this yet." At the next Christmas Godfrey was +in Italy, and the thing was gone by,--so at least the father and +mother said to each other. But the young people had met in the +summer, and one joyful letter had come from the girl home to her +mother. "I have accepted him. Dearest, dearest mamma, I do love +him. But don't tell papa yet, for I have not quite accepted him. I +think I am sure, but I am not quite sure. I am not quite sure about +him." + +And then, two days after that, there had come a letter that was not +at all joyful. "Dearest Mamma,--It is not to be. It is not written +in the book. We have both agreed that it will not do. I am so glad +that you have not told dear papa, for I could never make him +understand. You will understand, for I shall tell you everything, +down to his very words. But we have agreed that there shall be no +quarrel. It shall be exactly as it was, and he will come at +Christmas all the same. It would never do that he and papa should +be separated, nor could we now put off Isabella. It is better so in +every way, for there is and need be no quarrel. We still like each +other. I am sure I like him, but I know that I should not make him +happy as his wife. He says it is my fault. I, at any rate, have +never told him that I thought it his." From all which it will be +seen that the confidence between the mother and daughter was very +close. + +Elizabeth Garrow was a very good girl, but it might almost be a +question whether she was not too good. She had learned, or thought +that she had learned, that most girls are vapid, silly, and +useless,--given chiefly to pleasure-seeking and a hankering after +lovers; and she had resolved that she would not be such a one. + +Industry, self-denial, and a religious purpose in life, were the +tasks which she set herself; and she went about the performance of +them with much courage. But such tasks, though they are excellently +well adapted to fit a young lady for the work of living, may also be +carried too far, and thus have the effect of unfitting her for that +work. When Elizabeth Garrow made up her mind that the finding of a +husband was not the only purpose of life, she did very well. It is +very well that a young lady should feel herself capable of going +through the world happily without one. But in teaching herself this +she also taught herself to think that there was a certain merit in +refusing herself the natural delight of a lover, even though the +possession of the lover were compatible with all her duties to +herself, her father and mother, and the world at large. It was not +that she had determined to have no lover. She made no such resolve, +and when the proper lover came he was admitted to her heart. But +she declared to herself unconsciously that she must put a guard upon +herself, lest she should be betrayed into weakness by her own +happiness. She had resolved that in loving her lord she would not +worship him, and that in giving her heart she would only so give it +as it should be given to a human creature like herself. She had +acted on these high resolves, and hence it had come to pass,--not +unnaturally,--that Mr. Godfrey Holmes had told her that it was "her +fault." + +She was a pretty, fair girl, with soft dark-brown hair, and soft +long dark eyelashes. Her grey eyes, though quiet in their tone, +were tender and lustrous. Her face was oval, and the lines of her +cheek and chin perfect in their symmetry. She was generally quiet +in her demeanour, but when moved she could rouse herself to great +energy, and speak with feeling and almost with fire. Her fault was +a reverence for martyrdom in general, and a feeling, of which she +was unconscious, that it became a young woman to be unhappy in +secret;--that it became a young woman, I might rather say, to have a +source of unhappiness hidden from the world in general, and endured +without any detriment to her outward cheerfulness. We know the +story of the Spartan boy who held the fox under his tunic. The fox +was biting into him,--into the very entrails; but the young hero +spake never a word. Now Bessy Garrow was inclined to think that it +was a good thing to have a fox always biting, so that the torment +caused no ruffling to her outward smiles. Now at this moment the +fox within her bosom was biting her sore enough, but she bore it +without flinching. + +"If you would rather that he should not come I will have it +arranged," her mother had said to her. + +"Not for worlds," she had answered. "I should never think well of +myself again." + +Her mother had changed her own mind more than once as to the conduct +in this matter which might be best for her to follow, thinking +solely of her daughter's welfare. "If he comes they will be +reconciled, and she will be happy," had been her first idea. But +then there was a stern fixedness of purpose in Bessy's words when +she spoke of Mr. Holmes, which had expelled this hope, and Mrs. +Garrow had for a while thought it better that the young man should +not come. But Bessy would not permit this. It would vex her +father, put out of course the arrangements of other people, and +display weakness on her own part. He should come, and she would +endure without flinching while the fox gnawed at her. + +That battle of the mistletoe had been fought on the morning before +Christmas-day, and the Holmeses came on Christmas-eve. Isabella was +comparatively a stranger, and therefore received at first the +greater share of attention. She and Elizabeth had once seen each +other, and for the last year or two had corresponded, but personally +they had never been intimate. Unfortunately for the latter, that +story of Godfrey's offer and acceptance had been communicated to +Isabella, as had of course the immediately subsequent story of their +separation. But now it would be almost impossible to avoid the +subject in conversation. "Dearest Isabella, let it be as though it +had never been," she had said in one of her letters. But sometimes +it is very difficult to let things be as though they had never been. + +The first evening passed over very well. The two Coverdale girls +were there, and there had been much talking and merry laughter, +rather juvenile in its nature, but on the whole none the worse for +that. Isabella Holmes was a fine, tall, handsome girl; good- +humoured, and well disposed to be pleased; rather Frenchified in her +manners, and quite able to take care of herself. But she was not +above round games, and did not turn up her nose at the boys. +Godfrey behaved himself excellently, talking much to the Major, but +by no means avoiding Miss Garrow. Mrs. Garrow, though she had known +him since he was a boy, had taken an aversion to him since he had +quarrelled with her daughter; but there was no room on this first +night for showing such aversion, and everything went off well. + +"Godfrey is very much improved," the Major said to his wife that +night. + +"Do you think so?" + +"Indeed I do. He has filled out and become a fine man." + +"In personal appearance, you mean. Yes, he is well-looking enough." + +"And in his manner, too. He is doing uncommonly well in Liverpool, +I can tell you; and if he should think of Bessy--" + +"There is nothing of that sort," said Mrs. Garrow. + +"He did speak to me, you know,--two years ago. Bessy was too young +then, and so indeed was he. But if she likes him--" + +"I don't think she does." + +"Then there's an end of it." And so they went to bed. + +"Frank," said the sister to her elder brother, knocking at his door +when they had all gone up stairs, "may I come in,--if you are not in +bed?" + +"In bed," said he, looking up with some little pride from his Greek +book; "I've one hundred and fifty lines to do before I can get to +bed. It'll be two, I suppose. I've got to mug uncommon hard these +holidays. I have only one more half, you know, and then--" + +"Don't overdo it, Frank." + +"No; I won't overdo it. I mean to take one day a week, and work +eight hours a day on the other five. That will be forty hours a +week, and will give me just two hundred hours for the holidays. I +have got it all down here on a table. That will be a hundred and +five for Greek play, forty for Algebra--" and so he explained to her +the exact destiny of all his long hours of proposed labour. He had +as yet been home a day and a half, and had succeeded in drawing out +with red lines and blue figures the table which he showed her. "If +I can do that, it will be pretty well; won't it?" + +"But, Frank, you have come home for your holidays,--to enjoy +yourself?" + +"But a fellow must work now-a-days." + +"Don't overdo it, dear; that's all. But, Frank, I could not rest if +I went to bed without speaking to you. You made me unhappy to-day." + +"Did I, Bessy?" + +"You called me a Puritan, and then you quoted that ill-natured +French proverb at me. Do you really believe your sister thinks +evil, Frank?" and as she spoke she put her arm caressingly round his +neck. + +"Of course I don't." + +"Then why say so? Harry is so much younger and so thoughtless that +I can bear what he says without so much suffering. But if you and I +are not friends I shall be very wretched. If you knew how I have +looked forward to your coming home!" + +"I did not mean to vex you, and I won't say such things again." + +"That's my own Frank. What I said to mamma, I said because I +thought it right; but you must not say that I am a Puritan. I would +do anything in my power to make your holidays bright and pleasant. +I know that boys require so much more to amuse them than girls do. +Good night, dearest; pray don't overdo yourself with work, and do +take care of your eyes." + +So saying she kissed him and went her way. In twenty minutes after +that, he had gone to sleep over his book; and when he woke up to +find the candle guttering down, he resolved that he would not begin +his measured hours till Christmas-day was fairly over. + +The morning of Christmas-day passed very quietly. They all went to +church, and then sat round the fire chatting until the four o'clock +dinner was ready. The Coverdale girls thought it was rather more +dull than former Thwaite Hall festivities, and Frank was seen to +yawn. But then everybody knows that the real fun of Christmas never +begins till the day itself be passed. The beef and pudding are +ponderous, and unless there be absolute children in the party, there +is a difficulty in grafting any special afternoon amusements on the +Sunday pursuits of the morning. In the evening they were to have a +dance; that had been distinctly promised to Patty Coverdale; but the +dance would not commence till eight. The beef and pudding were +ponderous, but with due efforts they were overcome and disappeared. +The glass of port was sipped, the almonds and raisins were nibbled, +and then the ladies left the room. Ten minutes after that Elizabeth +found herself seated with Isabella Holmes over the fire in her +father's little book-room. It was not by her that this meeting was +arranged, for she dreaded such a constrained confidence; but of +course it could not be avoided, and perhaps it might be as well now +as hereafter. + +"Bessy," said the elder girl, "I am dying to be alone with you for a +moment." + +"Well, you shall not die; that is, if being alone with me will save +you." + +"I have so much to say to you. And if you have any true friendship +in you, you also will have so much to say to me." + +Miss Garrow perhaps had no true friendship in her at that moment, +for she would gladly have avoided saying anything, had that been +possible. But in order to prove that she was not deficient in +friendship, she gave her friend her hand. + +"And now tell me everything about Godfrey," said Isabella. + +"Dear Bella, I have nothing to tell;--literally nothing." + +"That is nonsense. Stop a moment, dear, and understand that I do +not mean to offend you. It cannot be that you have nothing to tell, +if you choose to tell it. You are not the girl to have accepted +Godfrey without loving him, nor is he the man to have asked you +without loving you. When you write me word that you have changed +your mind, as you might about a dress, of course I know you have not +told me all. Now I insist upon knowing it,--that is, if we are to +be friends. I would not speak a word to Godfrey till I had seen +you, in order that I might hear your story first." + +"Indeed, Bella, there is no story to tell." + +"Then I must ask him." + +"If you wish to play the part of a true friend to me, you will let +the matter pass by and say nothing. You must understand that, +circumstanced as we are, your brother's visit here,--what I mean is, +that it is very difficult for me to act and speak exactly as I +should do, and a few unfortunate words spoken may make my position +unendurable." + +"Will you answer me one question?" + +"I cannot tell. I think I will." + +"Do you love him?" For a moment or two Bessy remained silent, +striving to arrange her words so that they should contain no +falsehood, and yet betray no truth. "Ah, I see you do," continued +Miss Holmes. "But of course you do. Why else did you accept him?" + +"I fancied that I did, as young ladies do sometimes fancy." + +"And will you say that you do not, now?" Again Bessy was silent, +and then her friend rose from her seat. "I see it all," she said. +"What a pity it was that you both had not some friend like me by you +at the time! But perhaps it may not be too late." + +I need not repeat at length all the protestations which upon this +were poured forth with hot energy by poor Bessy. She endeavoured to +explain how great had been the difficulty of her position. This +Christmas visit had been arranged before that unhappy affair at +Liverpool had occurred. Isabella's visit had been partly one of +business, it being necessary that certain money affairs should be +arranged between her, her brother, and the Major. "I determined," +said Bessy, "not to let my feelings stand in the way; and hoped that +things might settle down to their former friendly footing. I +already fear that I have been wrong, but it will be ungenerous in +you to punish me." Then she went on to say that if anybody +attempted to interfere with her, she should at once go away to her +mother's sister, who lived at Hexham, in Northumberland. + +Then came the dance, and the hearts of Kate and Patty Coverdale were +at last happy. But here again poor Bessy was made to understand how +terribly difficult was this experiment of entertaining on a footing +of friendship a lover with whom she had quarrelled only a month or +two before. That she must as a necessity become the partner of +Godfrey Holmes she had already calculated, and so much she was +prepared to endure. Her brothers would of course dance with the +Coverdale girls, and her father would of course stand up with +Isabella. There was no other possible arrangement, at any rate as a +beginning. + +She had schooled herself, too, as to the way in which she would +speak to him on the occasion, and how she would remain mistress of +herself and of her thoughts. But when the time came the difficulty +was almost too much for her. + +"You do not care much for dancing, if I remember?" said he. + +"Oh yes, I do. Not as Patty Coverdale does. It's a passion with +her. But then I am older than Patty Coverdale." After that he was +silent for a minute or two. + +"It seems so odd to me to be here again," he said. It was odd;--she +felt that it was odd. But he ought not to have said so. + +"Two years make a great difference. The boys have grown so much." + +"Yes, and there are other things," said he. + +"Bella was never here before; at least not with you." + +"No. But I did not exactly mean that. All that would not make the +place so strange. But your mother seems altered to me. She used to +be almost like my own mother." + +"I suppose she finds that you are a more formidable person as you +grow older. It was all very well scolding you when you were a clerk +in the bank, but it does not do to scold the manager. These are the +penalties men pay for becoming great." + +"It is not my greatness that stands in my way, but--" + +"Then I'm sure I cannot say what it is. But Patty will scold you if +you do not mind the figure, though you were the whole Board of +Directors packed into one. She won't respect you if you neglect +your present work." + +When Bessy went to bed that night she began to feel that she had +attempted too much. "Mamma," she said, "could I not make some +excuse and go away to Aunt Mary?" + +"What now?" + +"Yes, mamma; now; to-morrow. I need not say that it will make me +very unhappy to be away at such a time, but I begin to think that it +will be better." + +"What will papa say?" + +"You must tell him all." + +"And Aunt Mary must be told also. You would not like that. Has he +said anything?" + +"No, nothing;--very little, that is. But Bella has spoken to me. +Oh, mamma, I think we have been very wrong in this. That is, I have +been wrong. I feel as though I should disgrace myself, and turn the +whole party here into a misfortune." + +It would be dreadful, that telling of the story to her father and to +her aunt, and such a necessity must, if possible, be avoided. +Should such a necessity actually come, the former task would, no +doubt, be done by her mother, but that would not lighten the load +materially. After a fortnight she would again meet her father, and +would be forced to discuss it. "I will remain if it be possible," +she said; "but, mamma, if I wish to go, you will not stop me?" Her +mother promised that she would not stop her, but strongly advised +her to stand her ground. + +On the following morning, when she came down stairs before +breakfast, she found Frank standing in the hall with his gun, of +which he was trying the lock. "It is not loaded, is it, Frank?" +said she. + +"Oh dear, no; no one thinks of loading now-a-days till he has got +out of the house. Directly after breakfast I am going across with +Godfrey to the back of Greystock, to see after some moor-fowl. He +asked me to go, and I couldn't well refuse." + +"Of course not. Why should you?" + +"It will be deuced hard work to make up the time. I was to have +been up at four this morning, but that alarum went off and never +woke me. However, I shall be able to do something to-night." + +"Don't make a slavery of your holidays, Frank. What's the good of +having a new gun if you're not to use it?" + +"It's not the new gun. I'm not such a child as that comes to. But, +you see, Godfrey is here, and one ought to be civil to him. I'll +tell you what I want you girls to do, Bessy. You must come and meet +us on our way home. Come over in the boat and along the path to the +Patterdale road. We'll be there under the hill about five." + +"And if you are not, we are to wait in the snow?" + +"Don't make difficulties, Bessy. I tell you we will be there. We +are to go in the cart, and so shall have plenty of time." + +"And how do you know the other girls will go?" + +"Why, to tell you the truth, Patty Coverdale has promised. As for +Miss Holmes, if she won't, why you must leave her at home with +mamma. But Kate and Patty can't come without you." + +"Your discretion has found that out, has it?" + +"They say so. But you will come; won't you, Bessy? As for waiting, +it's all nonsense. Of course you can walk on. But we'll be at the +stile by five. I've got my watch, you know." And then Bessy +promised him. What would she not have done for him that was in her +power to do? + +"Go! Of course I'll go," said Miss Holmes. "I'm up to anything. +I'd have gone with them this morning, and have taken a gun if they'd +asked me. But, by-the-bye, I'd better not." + +"Why not?" said Patty, who was hardly yet without fear lest +something should mar the expedition. + +"What will three gentlemen do with four ladies?" + +"Oh, I forgot," said Patty innocently. + +"I'm sure I don't care," said Kate; "you may have Harry if you +like." + +"Thank you for nothing," said Miss Holmes. "I want one for myself. +It's all very well for you to make the offer, but what should I do +if Harry wouldn't have me? There are two sides, you know, to every +bargain." + +"I'm sure he isn't anything to me," said Kate. "Why, he's not quite +seventeen years old yet!" + +"Poor boy! What a shame to dispose of him so soon. We'll let him +off for a year or two; won't we, Miss Coverdale? But as there seems +by acknowledgment to be one beau with unappropriated services--" + +"I'm sure I have appropriated nobody," said Patty, "and didn't +intend." + +"Godfrey, then, is the only knight whose services are claimed," said +Miss Holmes, looking at Bessy. Bessy made no immediate answer with +either her eyes or tongue; but when the Coverdales were gone, she +took her new friend to task. + +"How can you fill those young girls' heads with such nonsense?" + +"Nature has done that, my dear." + +"But nature should be trained; should it not? You will make them +think that those foolish boys are in love with them." + +"The foolish boys, as you call them, will look after that +themselves. It seems to me that the foolish boys know what they are +about better than some of their elders." And then, after a moment's +pause, she added, "As for my brother, I have no patience with him." + +"Pray do not discuss your brother," said Bessy. "And, Bella, unless +you wish to drive me away, pray do not speak of him and me together +as you did just now." + +"Are you so bad as that,--that the slightest commonplace joke upsets +you? Would not his services be due to you as a matter of course? +If you are so sore about it, you will betray your own secret." + +"I have no secret,--none at least from you, or from mamma; and, +indeed, none from him. We were both very foolish, thinking that we +knew each other and our own hearts, when we knew neither." + +"I hate to hear people talk of knowing their hearts. My idea is, +that if you like a young man, and he asks you to marry him, you +ought to have him. That is, if there is enough to live on. I don't +know what more is wanted. But girls are getting to talk and think +as though they were to send their hearts through some fiery furnace +of trial before they may give them up to a husband's keeping. I am +not at all sure that the French fashion is not the best, and that +these things shouldn't be managed by the fathers and mothers, or +perhaps by the family lawyers. Girls who are so intent upon knowing +their own hearts generally end by knowing nobody's heart but their +own; and then they die old maids." + +"Better that than give themselves to the keeping of those they don't +know and cannot esteem." + +"That's a matter of taste. I mean to take the first that comes, so +long as he looks like a gentleman, and has not less than eight +hundred a year. Now Godfrey does look like a gentleman, and has +double that. If I had such a chance I shouldn't think twice about +it." + +"But I have no such chance." + +"That's the way the wind blows; is it?" + +"No, no. Oh, Bella, pray, pray leave me alone. Pray do not +interfere. There is no wind blowing in any way. All that I want is +your silence and your sympathy." + +"Very well. I will be silent and sympathetic as the grave. Only +don't imagine that I am cold as the grave also. I don't exactly +appreciate your ideas; but if I can do no good, I will at any rate +endeavour to do no harm." + +After lunch, at about three, they started on their walk, and managed +to ferry themselves over the river. "Oh, do let me, Bessy," said +Kate Coverdale. "I understand all about it. Look here, Miss +Holmes. You pull the chain through your hands--" + +"And inevitably tear your gloves to pieces," said Miss Holmes. Kate +certainly had done so, and did not seem to be particularly well +pleased with the accident. "There's a nasty nail in the chain," she +said. "I wonder those stupid boys did not tell us." + +Of course they reached the trysting-place much too soon, and were +very tired of walking up and down to keep their feet warm, before +the sportsmen came up. But this was their own fault, seeing that +they had reached the stile half an hour before the time fixed. + +"I never will go anywhere to meet gentlemen again," said Miss +Holmes. "It is most preposterous that ladies should be left in the +snow for an hour. Well, young men, what sport have you had?" + +"I shot the big black cock," said Harry. + +"Did you indeed?" said Kate Coverdale. + +"And here are the feathers out of his tail for you. He dropped them +in the water, and I had to go in after them up to my middle. But I +told you that I would, so I was determined to get them." + +"Oh, you silly, silly boy," said Kate. "But I'll keep them for +ever. I will indeed." This was said a little apart, for Harry had +managed to draw the young lady aside before he presented the +feathers. + +Frank had also his trophies for Patty, and the tale to tell of his +own prowess. In that he was a year older than his brother, he was +by a year's growth less ready to tender his present to his lady- +love, openly in the presence of them all. But he found his +opportunity, and then he and Patty went on a little in advance. +Kate also was deep in her consolations to Harry for his ducking; and +therefore the four disposed of themselves in the manner previously +suggested by Miss Holmes. Miss Holmes, therefore, and her brother, +and Bessy Garrow, were left together in the path, and discussed the +performances of the day in a manner that elicited no very ecstatic +interest. So they walked for a mile, and by degrees the +conversation between them dwindled down almost to nothing. + +"There is nothing I dislike so much as coming out with people +younger than myself," said Miss Holmes. "One always feels so old +and dull. Listen to those children there; they make me feel as +though I were an old maiden aunt, brought out with them to do +propriety." + +"Patty won't at all approve if she hears you call her a child." + +"Nor shall I approve, if she treats me like an old woman," and then +she stepped on and joined the children. "I wouldn't spoil even +their sport if I could help it," she said to herself. "But with +them I shall only be a temporary nuisance; if I remain behind I +shall become a permanent evil." And thus Bessy and her old lover +were left by themselves. + +"I hope you will get on well with Bella," said Godfrey, when they +had remained silent for a minute or two. + +"Oh, yes. She is so good-natured and light-spirited that everybody +must like her. She has been used to so much amusement and active +life, that I know she must find it very dull here." + +"She is never dull anywhere,--even at Liverpool, which, for a young +lady, I sometimes think the dullest place on earth. I know it is +for a man." + +"A man who has work to do can never be dull; can he?" + +"Indeed he can; as dull as death. I am so often enough. I have +never been very bright there, Bessy, since you left us." + +There was nothing in his calling her Bessy, for it had become a +habit with him since they were children; and they had formerly +agreed that everything between them should be as it had been before +that foolish whisper of love had been spoken and received. Indeed, +provision had been made by them specially on this point, so that +there need be no awkwardness in this mode of addressing each other. +Such provision had seemed to be very prudent, but it hardly had the +desired effect on the present occasion. + +"I hardly know what you mean by brightness," she said, after a +pause. "Perhaps it is not intended that people's lives should be +what you call bright." + +"Life ought to be as bright as we can make it." + +"It all depends on the meaning of the word. I suppose we are not +very bright here at Thwaite Hall, but yet we think ourselves very +happy." + +"I am sure you are," said Godfrey. "I very often think of you +here." + +"We always think of places where we have been when we were young," +said Bessy; and then again they walked on for some way in silence, +and Bessy began to increase her pace with the view of catching the +children. The present walk to her was anything but bright, and she +bethought herself with dismay that there were still two miles before +she reached the Ferry. + +"Bessy," Godfrey said at last. And then he stopped as though he +were doubtful how to proceed. She, however, did not say a word, but +walked on quickly, as though her only hope was in catching the party +before her. But they also were walking quickly, for Bella was +determined that she would not be caught. + +"Bessy, I must speak to you once of what passed between us at +Liverpool." + +"Must you?" said she. + +"Unless you positively forbid it." + +"Stop, Godfrey," she said. And they did stop in the path, for now +she no longer thought of putting an end to her embarrassment by +overtaking her companions. "If any such words are necessary for +your comfort, it would hardly become me to forbid them. Were I to +speak so harshly you would accuse me afterwards in your own heart. +It must be for you to judge whether it is well to reopen a wound +that is nearly healed." + +"But with me it is not nearly healed. The wound is open always." + +"There are some hurts," she said, "which do not admit of an absolute +and perfect cure, unless after long years." As she said so, she +could not but think how much better was his chance of such perfect +cure than her own. With her,--so she said to herself,--such curing +was all but impossible; whereas with him, it was as impossible that +the injury should last. + +"Bessy," he said, and he again stopped her on the narrow path, +standing immediately before her on the way, "you remember all the +circumstances that made us part?" + +"Yes; I think I remember them." + +"And you still think that we were right to part?" + +She paused for a moment before she answered him; but it was only for +a moment, and then she spoke quite firmly. "Yes, Godfrey, I do; I +have thought about it much since then. I have thought, I fear, to +no good purpose about aught else. But I have never thought that we +had been unwise in that." + +"And yet I think you loved me." + +"I am bound to confess I did so, as otherwise I must confess myself +a liar. I told you at the time that I loved you, and I told you so +truly. But it is better, ten times better, that those who love +should part, even though they still should love, than that two +should be joined together who are incapable of making each other +happy. Remember what you told me." + +"I do remember." + +"You found yourself unhappy in your engagement, and you said it was +my fault." + +"Bessy, there is my hand. If you have ceased to love me, there is +an end of it. But if you love me still, let all that be forgotten." + +"Forgotten, Godfrey! How can it be forgotten? You were unhappy, +and it was my fault. My fault, as it would be if I tried to solace +a sick child with arithmetic, or feed a dog with grass. I had no +right to love you, knowing you as I did; and knowing also that my +ways would not be your ways. My punishment I understand, and it is +not more than I can bear; but I had hoped that your punishment would +have been soon over." + +"You are too proud, Bessy." + +"That is very likely. Frank says that I am a Puritan, and pride was +the worst of their sins." + +"Too proud and unbending. In marriage should not the man and woman +adapt themselves to each other?" + +"When they are married, yes. And every girl who thinks of marrying +should know that in very much she must adapt herself to her husband. +But I do not think that a woman should be the ivy, to take the +direction of every branch of the tree to which she clings. If she +does so, what can be her own character? But we must go on, or we +shall be too late." + +"And you will give me no other answer?" + +"None other, Godfrey. Have you not just now, at this very moment, +told me that I was too proud? Can it be possible that you should +wish to tie yourself for life to female pride? And if you tell me +that now, at such a moment as this, what would you tell me in the +close intimacy of married life, when the trifles of every day would +have worn away the courtesies of guest and lover?" + +There was a sharpness of rebuke in this which Godfrey Holmes could +not at the moment overcome. Nevertheless he knew the girl, and +understood the workings of her heart and mind. Now, in her present +state, she could be unbending, proud, and almost rough. In that she +had much to lose in declining the renewed offer which he made her, +she would, as it were, continually prompt herself to be harsh and +inflexible. Had he been poor, had she not loved him, had not all +good things seemed to have attended the promise of such a marriage, +she would have been less suspicious of herself in receiving the +offer, and more gracious in replying to it. Had he lost all his +money before he came back to her, she would have taken him at once; +or had he been deprived of an eye, or become crippled in his legs, +she would have done so. But, circumstanced as he was, she had no +motive to tenderness. There was an organic defect in her character, +which no doubt was plainly marked by its own bump in her cranium,-- +the bump of philomartyrdom, it might properly be called. She had +shipwrecked her own happiness in rejecting Godfrey Holmes; but it +seemed to her to be the proper thing that a well-behaved young lady +should shipwreck her own happiness. For the last month or two she +had been tossed about by the waters and was nearly drowned. Now +there was beautiful land again close to her, and a strong pleasant +hand stretched out to save her. But though she had suffered +terribly among the waves, she still thought it wrong to be saved. +It would be so pleasant to take that hand, so sweet, so joyous, that +it surely must be wrong. That was her doctrine; and Godfrey Holmes, +though he hardly analysed the matter, partly understood that it was +so. And yet, if once she were landed on that green island, she +would be so happy. She spoke with scorn of a woman clinging to a +tree like ivy; and yet, were she once married, no woman would cling +to her husband with sweeter feminine tenacity than Bessy Garrow. He +spoke no further word to her as he walked home, but in handing her +down to the ferry-boat he pressed her hand. For a second it seemed +as though she had returned this pressure. If so, the action was +involuntary, and her hand instantly resumed its stiffness to his +touch. + +It was late that night when Major Garrow went to his bedroom, but +his wife was still up, waiting for him. "Well," said she, "what has +he said to you? He has been with you above an hour." + +"Such stories are not very quickly told; and in this case it was +necessary to understand him very accurately. At length I think I do +understand him." + +It is not necessary to repeat at length all that was said on that +night between Major and Mrs. Garrow, as to the offer which had now +for a third time been made to their daughter. On that evening, +after the ladies had gone, and when the two boys had taken +themselves off, Godfrey Holmes told his tale to his host, and had +honestly explained to him what he believed to be the state of his +daughter's feelings. "Now you know all," said he. "I do believe +that she loves me, and if she does, perhaps she may still listen to +you." Major Garrow did not feel sure that he "knew it all." But +when he had fully discussed the matter that night with his wife, +then he thought that perhaps he had arrived at that knowledge. + +On the following morning Bessy learned from the maid, at an early +hour, that Godfrey Holmes had left Thwaite Hall and gone back to +Liverpool. To the girl she said nothing on the subject, but she +felt obliged to say a word or two to Bella. "It is his coming that +I regret," she said;--"that he should have had the trouble and +annoyance for nothing. I acknowledge that it was my fault, and I am +very sorry." + +"It cannot be helped," said Miss Holmes, somewhat gravely. "As to +his misfortunes, I presume that his journeys between here and +Liverpool are not the worst of them." + +After breakfast on that day Bessy was summoned into her father's +book-room, and found him there, and her mother also. "Bessy," said +he, "sit down, my dear. You know why Godfrey has left us this +morning?" + +Bessy walked round the room, so that in sitting she might be close +to her mother and take her mother's hand in her own. "I suppose I +do, papa," she said. + +"He was with me late last night, Bessy; and when he told me what had +passed between you I agreed with him that he had better go." + +"It was better that he should go, papa." + +"But he has left a message for you." + +"A message, papa?" + +"Yes, Bessy. And your mother agrees with me that it had better be +given to you. It is this,--that if you will send him word to come +again, he will be here by Twelfth-night. He came before on my +invitation, but if he returns it must be on yours." + +"Oh, papa, I cannot." + +"I do not say that you can, but think of it calmly before you +altogether refuse. You shall give me your answer on New Year's +morning." + +"Mamma knows that it would be impossible," said Bessy. + +"Not impossible, dearest." + +"In such a matter you should do what you believe to be right," said +her father. + +"If I were to ask him here again, it would be telling him that I +would--" + +"Exactly, Bessy. It would be telling him that you would be his +wife. He would understand it so, and so would your mother and I. +It must be so understood altogether." + +"But, papa, when we were at Liverpool--" + +"I have told him everything, dearest," said Mrs. Garrow. + +"I think I understand the whole," said the Major; "and in such a +matter as this I will not give you counsel on either side. But you +must remember that in making up your mind, you must think of him as +well as of yourself. If you do not love him;--if you feel that as +his wife you should not love him, there is not another word to be +said. I need not explain to my daughter that under such +circumstances she would be wrong to encourage the visits of a +suitor. But your mother says you do love him." + +"I will not ask you. But if you do;--if you have so told him, and +allowed him to build up an idea of his life-happiness on such +telling, you will, I think, sin greatly against him by allowing a +false feminine pride to mar his happiness. When once a girl has +confessed to a man that she loves him, the confession and the love +together put upon her the burden of a duty towards him, which she +cannot with impunity throw aside." Then he kissed her, and bidding +her give him a reply on the morning of the new year, left her with +her mother. + +She had four days for consideration, and they went past her by no +means easily. Could she have been alone with her mother, the +struggle would not have been so painful; but there was the necessity +that she should talk to Isabella Holmes, and the necessity also that +she should not neglect the Coverdales. Nothing could have been +kinder than Bella. She did not speak on the subject till the +morning of the last day, and then only in a very few words. +"Bessy," she said, "as you are great, be merciful." + +"But I am not great, and it would not be mercy." + +"As to that," said Bella, "he has surely a right to his own +opinion." + +On that evening she was sitting alone in her room when her mother +came to her, and her eyes were red with weeping. Pen and paper were +before her, as though she were resolved to write, but hitherto no +word had been written. + +"Well, Bessy," said her mother, sitting down close beside her; "is +the deed done?" + +"What deed, mamma? Who says that I am to do it?" + +"The deed is not the writing, but the resolution to write. Five +words will be sufficient,--if only those five words may be written." + +"It is for one's whole life, mamma. For his life, as well as my +own." + +"True, Bessy;--that is quite true. But equally true whether you bid +him come or allow him to remain away. That task of making up one's +mind for life, must at last be done in some special moment of that +life." + +"Mamma, mamma; tell me what I should do." + +But this Mrs. Garrow would not do. "I will write the words for you +if you like," she said, "but it is you who must resolve that they +shall be written. I cannot bid my darling go away and leave me for +another home;--I can only say that in my heart I do believe that +home would be a happy one." + +It was morning before the note was written, but when the morning +came Bessy had written it and brought it to her mother. + +"You must take it to papa," she said. Then she went and hid herself +from all eyes till the noon had passed. "Dear Godfrey," the letter +ran, "Papa says that you will return on Wednesday if I write to ask +you. Do come back to us,--if you wish it. Yours always, Bessy." + +"It is as good as though she had filled the sheet," said the Major. +But in sending it to Godfrey Holmes, he did not omit a few +accompanying remarks of his own. + +An answer came from Godfrey by return of post; and on the afternoon +of the sixth of January, Frank Garrow drove over to the station at +Penrith to meet him. On their way back to Thwaite Hall there grew +up a very close confidence between the two future brothers-in-law, +and Frank explained with great perspicuity a little plan which he +had arranged himself. "As soon as it is dark, so that she won't see +it, Harry will hang it up in the dining-room," he said, "and mind +you go in there before you go anywhere else." + +"I am very glad you have come back, Godfrey," said the Major, +meeting him in the hall. + +"God bless you, dear Godfrey," said Mrs. Garrow, "you will find +Bessy in the dining-room," she whispered; but in so whispering she +was quite unconscious of the mistletoe bough. + +And so also was Bessy, nor do I think that she was much more +conscious when that introduction was over. Godfrey had made all +manner of promises to Frank, but when the moment arrived, he had +found the moment too important for any special reference to the +little bough above his head. Not so, however, Patty Coverdale. +"It's a shame," said she, bursting out of the room, "and if I'd +known what you had done, nothing on earth should have induced me to +go in. I won't enter the room till I know that you have taken it +out." Nevertheless her sister Kate was bold enough to solve the +mystery before the evening was over. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg Etext of The Mistletoe Bough, by Anthony Trollope + diff --git a/old/mstlb10.zip b/old/mstlb10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ae623ec --- /dev/null +++ b/old/mstlb10.zip |