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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/3711-0.txt b/3711-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..44bd126 --- /dev/null +++ b/3711-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1238 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Relics of General Chasse, by Anthony Trollope + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most +other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions +whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of +the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at +www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have +to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. + + + + +Title: Relics of General Chasse + a Tale of Antwerp + + +Author: Anthony Trollope + + + +Release Date: January 16, 2015 [eBook #3711] +[This file was first posted on July 31, 2001] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RELICS OF GENERAL CHASSE*** + + +Transcribed from the 1864 Chapman and Hall “Tales of All Countries” +edition by David Price, email ccx074@pglaf.org + + + + + + THE RELICS OF GENERAL CHASSÉ + A TALE OF ANTWERP. + + +THAT Belgium is now one of the European kingdoms, living by its own laws, +resting on its own bottom, with a king and court, palaces and parliament +of its own, is known to all the world. And a very nice little kingdom it +is; full of old towns, fine Flemish pictures, and interesting Gothic +churches. But in the memory of very many of us who do not think +ourselves old men, Belgium, as it is now called—in those days it used to +be Flanders and Brabant—was a part of Holland; and it obtained its own +independence by a revolution. In that revolution the most important +military step was the siege of Antwerp, which was defended on the part of +the Dutch by General Chassé, with the utmost gallantry, but nevertheless +ineffectually. + +After the siege Antwerp became quite a show place; and among the visitors +who flocked there to talk of the gallant general, and to see what +remained of the great effort which he had made to defend the place, were +two Englishmen. One was the hero of this little history; and the other +was a young man of considerably less weight in the world. The less I say +of the latter the better; but it is necessary that I should give some +description of the former. + +The Rev. Augustus Horne was, at the time of my narrative, a beneficed +clergyman of the Church of England. The profession which he had graced +sat easily on him. Its external marks and signs were as pleasing to his +friends as were its internal comforts to himself. He was a man of much +quiet mirth, full of polished wit, and on some rare occasions he could +descend to the more noisy hilarity of a joke. Loved by his friends he +loved all the world. He had known no care and seen no sorrow. Always +intended for holy orders he had entered them without a scruple, and +remained within their pale without a regret. At twenty-four he had been +a deacon, at twenty-seven a priest, at thirty a rector, and at +thirty-five a prebendary; and as his rectory was rich and his prebendal +stall well paid, the Rev. Augustus Horne was called by all, and called +himself, a happy man. His stature was about six feet two, and his +corpulence exceeded even those bounds which symmetry would have preferred +as being most perfectly compatible even with such a height. But +nevertheless Mr. Horne was a well-made man; his hands and feet were +small; his face was handsome, frank, and full of expression; his bright +eyes twinkled with humour; his finely-cut mouth disclosed two marvellous +rows of well-preserved ivory; and his slightly aquiline nose was just +such a projection as one would wish to see on the face of a well-fed +good-natured dignitary of the Church of England. When I add to all this +that the reverend gentleman was as generous as he was rich—and the kind +mother in whose arms he had been nurtured had taken care that he should +never want—I need hardly say that I was blessed with a very pleasant +travelling companion. + +I must mention one more interesting particular. Mr. Horne was rather +inclined to dandyism, in an innocent way. His clerical starched +neckcloth was always of the whitest, his cambric handkerchief of the +finest, his bands adorned with the broadest border; his sable suit never +degenerated to a rusty brown; it not only gave on all occasions glossy +evidence of freshness, but also of the talent which the artisan had +displayed in turning out a well-dressed clergyman of the Church of +England. His hair was ever brushed with scrupulous attention, and showed +in its regular waves the guardian care of each separate bristle. And all +this was done with that ease and grace which should be the +characteristics of a dignitary of the established English Church. + +I had accompanied Mr. Horne to the Rhine; and we had reached Brussels on +our return, just at the close of that revolution which ended in affording +a throne to the son-in-law of George the Fourth. At that moment General +Chassé’s name and fame were in every man’s mouth, and, like other curious +admirers of the brave, Mr. Horne determined to devote two days to the +scene of the late events at Antwerp. Antwerp, moreover, possesses +perhaps the finest spire, and certainly one of the three or four finest +pictures, in the world. Of General Chassé, of the cathedral, and of the +Rubens, I had heard much, and was therefore well pleased that such should +be his resolution. This accomplished we were to return to Brussels; and +thence, via Ghent, Ostend, and Dover, I to complete my legal studies in +London, and Mr. Horne to enjoy once more the peaceful retirement of +Ollerton rectory. As we were to be absent from Brussels but one night we +were enabled to indulge in the gratification of travelling without our +luggage. A small sac-de-nuit was prepared; brushes, combs, razors, +strops, a change of linen, &c. &c., were carefully put up; but our heavy +baggage, our coats, waistcoats, and other wearing apparel were +unnecessary. It was delightful to feel oneself so light-handed. The +reverend gentleman, with my humble self by his side, left the portal of +the Hôtel de Belle Vue at 7 a.m., in good humour with all the world. +There were no railroads in those days; but a cabriolet, big enough to +hold six persons, with rope traces and corresponding appendages, +deposited us at the Golden Fleece in something less than six hours. The +inward man was duly fortified, and we started for the castle. + +It boots not here to describe the effects which gunpowder and grape-shot +had had on the walls of Antwerp. Let the curious in these matters read +the horrors of the siege of Troy, or the history of Jerusalem taken by +Titus. The one may be found in Homer, and the other in Josephus. Or if +they prefer doings of a later date there is the taking of Sebastopol, as +narrated in the columns of the “Times” newspaper. The accounts are +equally true, instructive, and intelligible. In the mean time allow the +Rev. Augustus Horne and myself to enter the private chambers of the +renowned though defeated general. + +We rambled for a while through the covered way, over the glacis and along +the counterscarp, and listened to the guide as he detailed to us, in +already accustomed words, how the siege had gone. Then we got into the +private apartments of the general, and, having dexterously shaken off our +attendant, wandered at large among the deserted rooms. + +“It is clear that no one ever comes here,” said I. + +“No,” said the Rev. Augustus; “it seems not; and to tell the truth, I +don’t know why any one should come. The chambers in themselves are not +attractive.” + +What he said was true. They were plain, ugly, square, unfurnished rooms, +here a big one, and there a little one, as is usual in most +houses;—unfurnished, that is, for the most part. In one place we did +find a table and a few chairs, in another a bedstead, and so on. But to +me it was pleasant to indulge in those ruminations which any traces of +the great or unfortunate create in softly sympathising minds. For a time +we communicated our thoughts to each other as we roamed free as air +through the apartments; and then I lingered for a few moments behind, +while Mr. Horne moved on with a quicker step. + +At last I entered the bedchamber of the general, and there I overtook my +friend. He was inspecting, with much attention, an article of the great +man’s wardrobe which he held in his hand. It was precisely that virile +habiliment to which a well-known gallant captain alludes in his +conversation with the posthumous appearance of Miss Bailey, as containing +a Bank of England £5 note. + +“The general must have been a large man, George, or he would hardly have +filled these,” said Mr. Horne, holding up to the light the respectable +leathern articles in question. “He must have been a very large man,—the +largest man in Antwerp, I should think; or else his tailor has done him +more than justice.” + +They were certainly large, and had about them a charming regimental +military appearance. They were made of white leather, with bright metal +buttons at the knees and bright metal buttons at the top. They owned no +pockets, and were, with the exception of the legitimate outlet, +continuous in the circumference of the waistband. No dangling strings +gave them an appearance of senile imbecility. Were it not for a certain +rigidity, sternness, and mental inflexibility,—we will call it military +ardour,—with which they were imbued, they would have created envy in the +bosom of a fox-hunter. + +Mr. Horne was no fox-hunter, but still he seemed to be irresistibly taken +with the lady-like propensity of wishing to wear them. “Surely, George,” +he said, “the general must have been a stouter man than I am”—and he +contemplated his own proportions with complacency—“these what’s-the-names +are quite big enough for me.” + +I differed in opinion, and was obliged to explain that I thought he did +the good living of Ollerton insufficient justice. + +“I am sure they are large enough for me,” he repeated, with considerable +obstinacy. I smiled incredulously; and then to settle the matter he +resolved that he would try them on. Nobody had been in these rooms for +the last hour, and it appeared as though they were never visited. Even +the guide had not come on with us, but was employed in showing other +parties about the fortifications. It was clear that this portion of the +building was left desolate, and that the experiment might be safely made. +So the sportive rector declared that he would for a short time wear the +regimentals which had once contained the valorous heart of General +Chassé. + +With all decorum the Rev. Mr. Horne divested himself of the work of the +London artist’s needle, and, carefully placing his own garments beyond +the reach of dust, essayed to fit himself in military garb. + +At that important moment—at the critical instant of the attempt—the +clatter of female voices was heard approaching the chamber. They must +have suddenly come round some passage corner, for it was evident by the +sound that they were close upon us before we had any warning of their +advent. At this very minute Mr. Horne was somewhat embarrassed in his +attempts, and was not fully in possession of his usual active powers of +movement, nor of his usual presence of mind. He only looked for escape; +and seeing a door partly open, he with difficulty retreated through it, +and I followed him. We found that we were in a small dressing-room; and +as by good luck the door was defended by an inner bolt, my friend was +able to protect himself. + +“There shall be another siege, at any rate as stout as the last, before I +surrender,” said he. + +As the ladies seemed inclined to linger in the room it became a matter of +importance that the above-named articles should fit, not only for +ornament but for use. It was very cold, and Mr. Horne was altogether +unused to move in a Highland sphere of life. But alas, alas! General +Chassé had not been nurtured in the classical retirement of Ollerton. +The ungiving leather would stretch no point to accommodate the divine, +though it had been willing to minister to the convenience of the soldier. +Mr. Horne was vexed and chilled; and throwing the now hateful garments +into a corner, and protecting himself from the cold as best he might by +standing with his knees together and his body somewhat bent so as to give +the skirts of his coat an opportunity of doing extra duty, he begged me +to see if those jabbering females were not going to leave him in peace to +recover his own property. I accordingly went to the door, and opening it +to a small extent I peeped through. + +Who shall describe my horror at the sight which I then saw? The scene, +which had hitherto been tinted with comic effect, was now becoming so +decidedly tragic that I did not dare at once to acquaint my worthy pastor +with that which was occurring,—and, alas! had already occurred. + +Five country-women of our own—it was easy to know them by their dress and +general aspect—were standing in the middle of the room; and one of them, +the centre of the group, the senior harpy of the lot, a maiden lady—I +could have sworn to that—with a red nose, held in one hand a huge pair of +scissors, and in the other—the already devoted goods of my most +unfortunate companion! Down from the waistband, through that goodly +expanse, a fell gash had already gone through and through; and in +useless, unbecoming disorder the broadcloth fell pendant from her arm on +this side and on that. At that moment I confess that I had not the +courage to speak to Mr. Horne,—not even to look at him. + +I must describe that group. Of the figure next to me I could only see +the back. It was a broad back done up in black silk not of the newest. +The whole figure, one may say, was dumpy. The black silk was not long, +as dresses now are worn, nor wide in its skirts. In every way it was +skimpy, considering the breadth it had to cover; and below the silk I saw +the heels of two thick shoes, and enough to swear by of two woollen +stockings. Above the silk was a red and blue shawl; and above that a +ponderous, elaborate brown bonnet, as to the materials of which I should +not wish to undergo an examination. Over and beyond this I could only +see the backs of her two hands. They were held up as though in wonder at +that which the red-nosed holder of the scissors had dared to do. + +Opposite to this lady, and with her face fully tamed to me, was a +kindly-looking, fat motherly woman, with light-coloured hair, not in the +best order. She was hot and scarlet with exercise, being perhaps too +stout for the steep steps of the fortress; and in one hand she held a +handkerchief, with which from time to time she wiped her brow. In the +other hand she held one of the extremities of my friend’s property, +feeling—good, careful soul!—what was the texture of the cloth. As she +did so, I could see a glance of approbation pass across her warm +features. I liked that lady’s face, in spite of her untidy hair, and +felt that had she been alone my friend would not have been injured. + +On either side of her there stood a flaxen-haired maiden, with long +curls, large blue eyes, fresh red cheeks, an undefined lumpy nose, and +large good-humoured mouth. They were as like as two peas, only that one +was half an inch taller than the other; and there was no difficulty in +discovering, at a moment’s glance, that they were the children of that +over-heated matron who was feeling the web of my friend’s cloth. + +But the principal figure was she who held the centre place in the group. +She was tall and thin, with fierce-looking eyes, rendered more fierce by +the spectacles which she wore; with a red nose as I said before; and +about her an undescribable something which quite convinced me that she +had never known—could never know—aught of the comforts of married life. +It was she who held the scissors and the black garments. It was she who +had given that unkind cut. As I looked at her she whisked herself +quickly round from one companion to the other, triumphing in what she had +done, and ready to triumph further in what she was about to do. I +immediately conceived a deep hatred for that Queen of the Harpies. + +“Well, I suppose they can’t be wanted again,” said the mother, rubbing +her forehead. + +“Oh dear no!” said she of the red nose. “They are relics!” I thought to +leap forth; but for what purpose should I have leaped? The accursed +scissors had already done their work; and the symmetry, nay, even the +utility of the vestment was destroyed. + +“General Chassé wore a very good article;—I will say that for him,” +continued the mother. + +“Of course he did!” said the Queen Harpy. “Why should he not, seeing +that the country paid for it for him? Well, ladies, who’s for having a +bit?” + +“Oh my! you won’t go for to cut them up,” said the stout back. + +“Won’t I,” said the scissors; and she immediately made another incision. +“Who’s for having a bit? Don’t all speak at once.” + +“I should like a morsel for a pincushion,” said flaxen-haired Miss No. 1, +a young lady about nineteen, actuated by a general affection for all +sword-bearing, fire-eating heroes. “I should like to have something to +make me think of the poor general!” + +Snip, snip went the scissors with professional rapidity, and a round +piece was extracted from the back of the calf of the left leg. I +shuddered with horror; and so did the Rev. Augustus Horne with cold. + +“I hardly think it’s proper to cut them up,” said Miss No. 2. + +“Oh isn’t it?” said the harpy. “Then I’ll do what’s improper!” And she +got her finger and thumb well through the holes in the scissors’ handles. +As she spoke resolution was plainly marked on her brow. + +“Well, if they are to be cut up, I should certainly like a bit for a +pen-wiper,” said No. 2. No. 2 was a literary young lady with a +periodical correspondence, a journal, and an album. Snip, snip went the +scissors again, and the broad part of the upper right division afforded +ample materials for a pen-wiper. + +Then the lady with the back, seeing that the desecration of the article +had been completed, plucked up heart of courage and put in her little +request; “I think I might have a needle-case out of it,” said she, “just +as a suvneer of the poor general”—and a long fragment cut rapidly out of +the waistband afforded her unqualified delight. + +Mamma, with the hot face and untidy hair, came next. “Well, girls,” she +said, “as you are all served, I don’t see why I’m to be left out. +Perhaps, Miss Grogram”—she was an old maid, you see—“perhaps, Miss +Grogram, you could get me as much as would make a decent-sized reticule.” + +There was not the slightest difficulty in doing this. The harpy in the +centre again went to work, snip, snip, and extracting from that portion +of the affairs which usually sustained the greater portion of Mr. Horne’s +weight two large round pieces of cloth, presented them to the +well-pleased matron. “The general knew well where to get a bit of good +broadcloth, certainly,” said she, again feeling the pieces. + +“And now for No. 1,” said she whom I so absolutely hated; “I think there +is still enough for a pair of slippers. There’s nothing so nice for the +house as good black cloth slippers that are warm to the feet and don’t +show the dirt.” And so saying, she spread out on the floor the lacerated +remainders. + +“There’s a nice bit there,” said young lady No. 2, poking at one of the +pockets with the end of her parasol. + +“Yes,” said the harpy, contemplating her plunder. “But I’m thinking +whether I couldn’t get leggings as well. I always wear leggings in the +thick of the winter.” And so she concluded her operations, and there was +nothing left but a melancholy skeleton of seams and buttons. + +All this having been achieved, they pocketed their plunder and prepared +to depart. There are people who have a wonderful appetite for relics. A +stone with which Washington had broken a window when a boy—with which he +had done so or had not, for there is little difference; a button that was +on a coat of Napoleon’s, or on that of one of his lackeys; a bullet said +to have been picked up at Waterloo or Bunker’s Hill; these, and suchlike +things are great treasures. And their most desirable characteristic is +the ease with which they are attained. Any bullet or any button does the +work. Faith alone is necessary. And now these ladies had made +themselves happy and glorious with “Relics” of General Chassé cut from +the ill-used habiliments of an elderly English gentleman! + +They departed at last, and Mr. Horne, for once in an ill humour, followed +me into the bedroom. Here I must be excused if I draw a veil over his +manly sorrow at discovering what fate had done for him. Remember what +was his position, unclothed in the Castle of Antwerp! The nearest +suitable change for those which had been destroyed was locked up in his +portmanteau at the Hôtel de Belle Rue in Brussels! He had nothing left +to him—literally nothing, in that Antwerp world. There was no other +wretched being wandering then in that Dutch town so utterly denuded of +the goods of life. For what is a man fit,—for what can he be fit,—when +left in such a position? There are some evils which seem utterly to +crush a man; and if there be any misfortune to which a man may be allowed +to succumb without imputation on his manliness, surely it is such as +this. How was Mr. Horne to return to his hotel without incurring the +displeasure of the municipality? That was my first thought. + +He had a cloak, but it was at the inn; and I found that my friend was +oppressed with a great horror at the idea of being left alone; so that I +could not go in search of it. There is an old saying, that no man is a +hero to his valet de chambre, the reason doubtless being this, that it is +customary for his valet to see the hero divested of those trappings in +which so much of the heroic consists. Who reverences a clergyman without +his gown, or a warrior without his sword and sabre-tasche? What would +even Minerva be without her helmet? + +I do not wish it to be understood that I no longer reverenced Mr. Horne +because he was in an undress; but he himself certainly lost much of his +composed, well-sustained dignity of demeanour. He was fearful and +querulous, cold, and rather cross. When, forgetting his size, I offered +him my own, he thought that I was laughing at him. He began to be afraid +that the story would get abroad, and he then and there exacted a promise +that I would never tell it during his lifetime. I have kept my word; but +now my old friend has been gathered to his fathers, full of years. + +At last I got him to the hotel. It was long before he would leave the +castle, cloaked though he was;—not, indeed, till the shades of evening +had dimmed the outlines of men and things, and made indistinct the +outward garniture of those who passed to and fro in the streets. Then, +wrapped in his cloak, Mr. Horne followed me along the quays and through +the narrowest of the streets; and at length, without venturing to return +the gaze of any one in the hotel court, he made his way up to his own +bedroom. + +Dinnerless and supperless he went to his couch. But when there he did +consent to receive some consolation in the shape of mutton cutlets and +fried potatoes, a savory omelet, and a bottle of claret. The mutton +cutlets and fried potatoes at the Golden Fleece at Antwerp are—or were +then, for I am speaking now of well-nigh thirty years since—remarkably +good; the claret, also, was of the best; and so, by degrees, the look of +despairing dismay passed from his face, and some scintillations of the +old fire returned to his eyes. + +“I wonder whether they find themselves much happier for what they have +got?” said he. + +“A great deal happier,” said I. “They’ll boast of those things to all +their friends at home, and we shall doubtless see some account of their +success in the newspapers.” + +“It would be delightful to expose their blunder,—to show them up. Would +it not, George? To turn the tables on them?” + +“Yes,” said I, “I should like to have the laugh against them.” + +“So would I, only that I should compromise myself by telling the story. +It wouldn’t do at all to have it told at Oxford with my name attached to +it.” + +To this also I assented. To what would I not have assented in my anxiety +to make him happy after his misery? + +But all was not over yet. He was in bed now, but it was necessary that +he should rise again on the morrow. At home, in England, what was +required might perhaps have been made during the night; but here, among +the slow Flemings, any such exertion would have been impossible. Mr. +Horne, moreover, had no desire to be troubled in his retirement by a +tailor. + +Now the landlord of the Golden Fleece was a very stout man,—a very stout +man indeed. Looking at him as he stood with his hands in his pockets at +the portal of his own establishment, I could not but think that he was +stouter even than Mr. Horne. But then he was certainly much shorter, and +the want of due proportion probably added to his unwieldy appearance. I +walked round him once or twice wishfully, measuring him in my eye, and +thinking of what texture might be the Sunday best of such a man. The +clothes which he then had on were certainly not exactly suited to Mr. +Horne’s tastes. + +He saw that I was observing him, and appeared uneasy and offended. I had +already ascertained that he spoke a little English. Of Flemish I knew +literally nothing, and in French, with which probably he was also +acquainted, I was by no means voluble. The business which I had to +transact was intricate, and I required the use of my mother-tongue. + +It was intricate and delicate, and difficult withal. I began by +remarking on the weather, but he did not take my remarks kindly. I am +inclined to fancy that he thought I was desirous of borrowing money from +him. At any rate he gave me no encouragement in my first advances. + +“Vat misfortune?” at last he asked, when I had succeeded in making him +understand that a gentleman up stairs required his assistance. + +“He has lost these things,” and I took hold of my own garments. “It’s a +long story, or I’d tell you how; but he has not a pair in the world till +he gets back to Brussels,—unless you can lend him one.” + +“Lost hees br-?” and he opened his eyes wide, and looked at me with +astonishment. + +“Yes, yes, exactly so,” said I, interrupting him. “Most astonishing +thing, isn’t it? But it’s quite true.” + +“Vas hees money in de pocket?” asked my auspicious landlord. + +“No, no, no. It’s not so bad as that, his money is all right. I had the +money, luckily.” + +“Ah! dat is better. But he have lost hees b-?” + +“Yes, yes;” I was now getting rather impatient. “There is no mistake +about it. He has lost them as sure as you stand there.” And then I +proceeded to explain that as the gentleman in question was very stout, +and as he, the landlord, was stout also, he might assist us in this great +calamity by a loan from his own wardrobe. + +When he found that the money was not in the pocket, and that his bill +therefore would be paid, he was not indisposed to be gracious. He would, +he said, desire his servant to take up what was required to Mr. Horne’s +chamber. I endeavoured to make him understand that a sombre colour would +be preferable; but he only answered that he would put the best that he +had at the gentleman’s disposal. He could not think of offering anything +less than his best on such an occasion. And then he turned his back and +went his way, muttering as he went something in Flemish, which I believed +to be an exclamation of astonishment that any man should, under any +circumstances, lose such an article. + +It was now getting late; so when I had taken a short stroll by myself, I +went to bed without disturbing Mr. Horne again that night. On the +following morning I thought it best not to go to him unless he sent for +me; so I desired the boots to let him know that I had ordered breakfast +in a private room, and that I would await him there unless he wished to +see me. He sent me word back to say that he would be with me very +shortly. + +He did not keep me waiting above half an hour, but I confess that that +half hour was not pleasantly spent. I feared that his temper would be +tried in dressing, and that he would not be able to eat his breakfast in +a happy state of mind. So that when I heard his heavy footstep advancing +along the passage my heart did misgive me, and I felt that I was +trembling. + +That step was certainly slower and more ponderous than usual. There was +always a certain dignity in the very sound of his movements, but now this +seemed to have been enhanced. To judge merely by the step one would have +said that a bishop was coming that way instead of a prebendary. + +And then he entered. In the upper half of his august person no +alteration was perceptible. The hair was as regular and as graceful as +ever, the handkerchief as white, the coat as immaculate; but below his +well-filled waistcoat a pair of red plush began to shine in unmitigated +splendour, and continued from thence down to within an inch above his +knee; nor, as it appeared, could any pulling induce them to descend +lower. Mr. Horne always wore black silk stockings,—at least so the world +supposed, but it was now apparent that the world had been wrong in +presuming him to be guilty of such extravagance. Those, at any rate, +which he exhibited on the present occasion were more economical. They +were silk to the calf, but thence upwards they continued their career in +white cotton. These then followed the plush; first two snowy, full-sized +pillars of white, and then two jet columns of flossy silk. Such was the +appearance, on that well-remembered morning, of the Rev. Augustus Horne, +as he entered the room in which his breakfast was prepared. + +I could see at a glance that a dark frown contracted his eyebrows, and +that the compressed muscles of his upper lip gave a strange degree of +austerity to his open face. He carried his head proudly on high, +determined to be dignified in spite of his misfortunes, and advanced two +steps into the room without a remark, as though he were able to show that +neither red plush nor black cloth could disarrange the equal poise of his +mighty mind! + +And after all what are a man’s garments but the outward husks in which +the fruit is kept, duly tempered from the wind? + + “The rank is but the guinea stamp, + The man’s the gowd for a’ that.” + +And is not the tailor’s art as little worthy, as insignificant as that of +the king who makes + + “A marquis, duke, and a’ that”? + +Who would be content to think that his manly dignity depended on his coat +and waistcoat, or his hold on the world’s esteem on any other garment of +usual wear? That no such weakness soiled his mind Mr. Horne was +determined to prove; and thus he entered the room with measured tread, +and stern dignified demeanour. + +Having advanced two steps his eye caught mine. I do not know whether he +was moved by some unconscious smile on my part;—for in truth I +endeavoured to seem as indifferent as himself to the nature of his +dress;—or whether he was invincibly tickled by some inward fancy of his +own, but suddenly his advancing step ceased, a broad flash of comic +humour spread itself over his features, he retreated with his back +against the wall, and then burst out into an immoderate roar of loud +laughter. + +And I—what else could I then do but laugh? He laughed, and I laughed. +He roared, and I roared. He lifted up his vast legs to view till the +rays of the morning sun shone through the window on the bright hues which +he displayed; and he did not sit down to his breakfast till he had in +every fantastic attitude shown off to the best advantage the red plush of +which he had so recently become proud. + +An Antwerp private cabriolet on that day reached the yard of the Hôtel de +Belle Vue at about 4 p.m., and four waiters, in a frenzy of astonishment, +saw the Reverend Augustus Horne descend from the vehicle and seek his +chamber dressed in the garments which I have described. But I am +inclined to think that he never again favoured any of his friends with +such a sight. + +It was on the next evening after this that I went out to drink tea with +two maiden ladies, relatives of mine, who kept a seminary for English +girls at Brussels. The Misses Macmanus were very worthy women, and +earned their bread in an upright, painstaking manner. I would not for +worlds have passed through Brussels without paying them this compliment. +They were, however, perhaps a little dull, and I was aware that I should +not probably meet in their drawing-room many of the fashionable +inhabitants of the city. Mr. Horne had declined to accompany me; but in +doing so he was good enough to express a warm admiration for the +character of my worthy cousins. + +The elder Miss Macmanus, in her little note, had informed me that she +would have the pleasure of introducing me to a few of my “compatriots.” +I presumed she meant Englishmen; and as I was in the habit of meeting +such every day of my life at home, I cannot say that I was peculiarly +elevated by the promise. When, however, I entered the room, there was no +Englishman there;—there was no man of any kind. There were twelve ladies +collected together with the view of making the evening pass agreeably to +me, the single virile being among them all. I felt as though I were a +sort of Mohammed in Paradise; but I certainly felt also that the Paradise +was none of my own choosing. + +In the centre of the amphitheatre which the ladies formed sat the two +Misses Macmanus;—there, at least, they sat when they had completed the +process of shaking hands with me. To the left of them, making one wing +of the semicircle, were arranged the five pupils by attending to whom the +Misses Macmanus earned their living; and the other wing consisted of the +five ladies who had furnished themselves with relics of General Chassé. +They were my “compatriots.” + +I was introduced to them all, one after the other; but their names did +not abide in my memory one moment. I was thinking too much of the +singularity of the adventure, and could not attend to such minutiæ. That +the red-rosed harpy was Miss Grogram, that I remembered;—that, I may say, +I shall never forget. But whether the motherly lady with the somewhat +blowsy hair was Mrs. Jones, or Mrs. Green, or Mrs. Walker, I cannot now +say. The dumpy female with the broad back was always called Aunt Sally +by the young ladies. + +Too much sugar spoils one’s tea; I think I have heard that even +prosperity will cloy when it comes in overdoses; and a schoolboy has been +known to be overdone with jam. I myself have always been peculiarly +attached to ladies’ society, and have avoided bachelor parties as things +execrable in their very nature. But on this special occasion I felt +myself to be that schoolboy;—I was literally overdone with jam. My tea +was all sugar, so that I could not drink it. I was one among twelve. +What could I do or say? The proportion of alloy was too small to have +any effect in changing the nature of the virgin silver, and the +conversation became absolutely feminine. + +I must confess also that my previous experience as to these compatriots +of mine had not prejudiced me in their favour. I regarded them with,—I +am ashamed to say so, seeing that they were ladies,—but almost with +loathing. When last I had seen them their occupation had reminded me of +some obscene feast of harpies, or almost of ghouls. They had brought +down to the verge of desperation the man whom of all men I most +venerated. On these accounts I was inclined to be taciturn with +reference to them;—and then what could I have to say to the Misses +Macmanus’s five pupils? + +My cousin at first made an effort or two in my favour, but these efforts +were fruitless. I soon died away into utter unrecognised insignificance, +and the conversation, as I have before said, became feminine. And indeed +that horrid Miss Grogram, who was, as it were, the princess of the +ghouls, nearly monopolised the whole of it. Mamma Jones—we will call her +Jones for the occasion—put in a word now and then, as did also the elder +and more energetic Miss Macmanus. The dumpy lady with the broad back ate +tea-cake incessantly; the two daughters looked scornful, as though they +were above their company with reference to the five pupils; and the five +pupils themselves sat in a row with the utmost propriety, each with her +hands crossed on her lap before her. + +Of what they were talking at last I became utterly oblivious. They had +ignored me, going into realms of muslin, questions of maid-servants, +female rights, and cheap under-clothing; and I therefore had ignored +them. My mind had gone back to Mr. Horne and his garments. While they +spoke of their rights, I was thinking of his wrongs; when they mentioned +the price of flannel, I thought of that of broadcloth. + +But of a sudden my attention was arrested. Miss Macmanus had said +something of the black silks of Antwerp, when Miss Grogram replied that +she had just returned from that city and had there enjoyed a great +success. My cousin had again asked something about the black silks, +thinking, no doubt, that Miss Grogram had achieved some bargain, but that +lady had soon undeceived her. + +“Oh no,” said Miss Grogram, “it was at the castle. We got such beautiful +relics of General Chassé! Didn’t we, Mrs. Jones?” + +“Indeed we did,” said Mrs. Jones, bringing out from beneath the skirts of +her dress and ostensibly displaying a large black bag. + +“And I’ve got such a beautiful needle-case,” said the broad-back, +displaying her prize. “I’ve been making it up all the morning.” And she +handed over the article to Miss Macmanus. + +“And only look at this duck of a pen-wiper,” simpered flaxen-hair No. 2. +“Only think of wiping one’s pens with relics of General Chassé!” and she +handed it over to the other Miss Macmanus. + +“And mine’s a pin-cushion,” said No. 1, exhibiting the trophy. + +“But that’s nothing to what I’ve got,” said Miss Grogram. “In the first +place, there’s a pair of slippers,—a beautiful pair;—they’re not made up +yet, of course; and then—” + +The two Misses Macmanus and their five pupils were sitting open-eared, +open-eyed, and open-mouthed. How all these sombre-looking articles could +be relics of General Chassé did not at first appear clear to them. + +“What are they, Miss Grogram?” said the elder Miss Macmanus, holding the +needle-case in one hand and Mrs. Jones’s bag in the other. Miss Macmanus +was a strong-minded female, and I reverenced my cousin when I saw the +decided way in which she intended to put down the greedy arrogance of +Miss Grogram. + +“They are relics.” + +“But where do they come from, Miss Grogram?” + +“Why, from the castle, to be sure;—from General Chassé’s own rooms.” + +“Did anybody sell them to you?” + +“No.” + +“Or give them to you?” + +“Why, no;—at least not exactly give.” + +“There they were, and she took ’em,” said the broad-back. Oh, what a +look Miss Grogram gave her! “Took them! of course I took them. That is, +you took them as much as I did. They were things that we found lying +about.” + +“What things?” asked Miss Macmanus, in a peculiarly strong-minded tone. + +Miss Grogram seemed to be for a moment silenced. I had been ignored, as +I have said, and my existence forgotten; but now I observed that the eyes +of the culprits were turned towards me,—the eyes, that is, of four of +them. Mrs. Jones looked at me from beneath her fan; the two girls +glanced at me furtively, and then their eyes fell to the lowest flounces +of their frocks. + +Miss Grogram turned her spectacles right upon me, and I fancied that she +nodded her head at me as a sort of answer to Miss Macmanus. The five +pupils opened their mouths and eyes wider; but she of the broad back was +nothing abashed. It would have been nothing to her had there been a +dozen gentlemen in the room. “We just found a pair of black—.” The +whole truth was told in the plainest possible language. + +“Oh, Aunt Sally!” “Aunt Sally, how can you?” “Hold your tongue, Aunt +Sally!” + +“And then Miss Grogram just cut them up with her scissors,” continued +Aunt Sally, not a whit abashed, “and gave us each a bit, only she took +more than half for herself.” It was clear to me that there had been some +quarrel, some delicious quarrel, between Aunt Sally and Miss Grogram. +Through the whole adventure I had rather respected Aunt Sally. “She took +more than half for herself,” continued Aunt Sally. “She kept all the—” + +“Jemima,” said the elder Miss Macmanus, interrupting the speaker and +addressing her sister, “it is time, I think, for the young ladies to +retire. Will you be kind enough to see them to their rooms?” The five +pupils thereupon rose from their seats—and courtesied. They then left +the room in file, the younger Miss Macmanus showing them the way. + +“But we haven’t done any harm, have we?” asked Mrs. Jones, with some +tremulousness in her voice. + +“Well, I don’t know,” said Miss Macmanus. “What I’m thinking of now is +this;—to whom, I wonder, did the garments properly belong? Who had been +the owner and wearer of them?” + +“Why, General Chassé of course,” said Miss Grogram. + +“They were the general’s,” repeated the two young ladies; blushing, +however, as they alluded to the subject. + +“Well, we thought they were the general’s, certainly; and a very +excellent article they were,” said Mrs. Jones. + +“Perhaps they were the butler’s?” said Aunt Sally. I certainly had not +given her credit for so much sarcasm. + +“Butler’s!” exclaimed Miss Grogram, with a toss of her head. + +“Oh, Aunt Sally, Aunt Sally! how can you?” shrieked the two young ladies. + +“Oh laws!” ejaculated Mrs. Jones. + +“I don’t think that they could have belonged to the butler,” said Miss +Macmanus, with much authority, “seeing that domestics in this country are +never clad in garments of that description; so far my own observation +enables me to speak with certainty. But it is equally sure that they +were never the property of the general lately in command at Antwerp. +Generals, when they are in full dress, wear ornamental lace upon +their—their regimentals; and when—” So much she said, and something +more, which it may be unnecessary that I should repeat; but such were her +eloquence and logic that no doubt would have been left on the mind of any +impartial hearer. If an argumentative speaker ever proved anything, Miss +Macmanus proved that General Chassé had never been the wearer of the +article in question. + +“But I know very well they were his!” said Miss Grogram, who was not an +impartial hearer. “Of course they were; whose else’s should they be?” + +“I’m sure I hope they were his,” said one of the young ladies, almost +crying. + +“I wish I’d never taken it,” said the other. + +“Dear, dear, dear!” said Mrs. Jones. + +“I’ll give you my needle-case, Miss Grogram,” said Aunt Sally. + +I had sat hitherto silent during the whole scene, meditating how best I +might confound the red-nosed harpy. Now, I thought, was the time for me +to strike in. + +“I really think, ladies, that there has been some mistake,” said I. + +“There has been no mistake at all, sir!” said Miss Grogram. + +“Perhaps not,” I answered, very mildly; “very likely not. But some +affair of a similar nature was very much talked about in Antwerp +yesterday.” + +“Oh laws!” again ejaculated Mrs. Jones. + +“The affair I allude to has been talked about a good deal, certainly,” I +continued. “But perhaps it may be altogether a different circumstance.” + +“And what may be the circumstance to which you allude?” asked Miss +Macmanus, in the same authoritative tone. + +“I dare say it has nothing to do with these ladies,” said I; “but an +article of dress, of the nature they have described, was cut up in the +Castle of Antwerp on the day before yesterday. It belonged to a +gentleman who was visiting the place; and I was given to understand that +he is determined to punish the people who have wronged him.” + +“It can’t be the same,” said Miss Grogram; but I could see that she was +trembling. + +“Oh laws! what will become of us?” said Mrs. Jones. + +“You can all prove that I didn’t touch them, and that I warned her not,” +said Aunt Sally. In the mean time the two young ladies had almost +fainted behind their fans. + +“But how had it come to pass,” asked Miss Macmanus, “that the gentleman +had—” + +“I know nothing more about it, cousin,” said I; “only it does seem that +there is an odd coincidence.” + +Immediately after this I took my leave. I saw that I had avenged my +friend, and spread dismay in the hearts of these who had injured him. I +had learned in the course of the evening at what hotel the five ladies +were staying; and in the course of the next morning I sauntered into the +hall, and finding one of the porters alone, asked if they were still +there. The man told me that they had started by the earliest diligence. +“And,” said he, “if you are a friend of theirs, perhaps you will take +charge of these things, which they have left behind them?” So saying, he +pointed to a table at the back of the hall, on which were lying the black +bag, the black needle-case, the black pin cushion, and the black +pen-wiper. There was also a heap of fragments of cloth which I well knew +had been intended by Miss Grogram for the comfort of her feet and ancles. + +I declined the commission, however. “They were no special friends of +mine,” I said; and I left all the relics still lying on the little table +in the back hall. + +“Upon the whole, I am satisfied!” said the Rev. Augustus Horne, when I +told him the finale of the story. + + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RELICS OF GENERAL CHASSE*** + + +******* This file should be named 3711-0.txt or 3711-0.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/7/1/3711 + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will +be renamed. + +Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright +law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, +so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United +States without permission and without paying copyright +royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part +of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm +concept and trademark. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of +the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at +www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have +to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. + + + + +Title: Relics of General Chasse + a Tale of Antwerp + + +Author: Anthony Trollope + + + +Release Date: January 16, 2015 [eBook #3711] +[This file was first posted on July 31, 2001] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RELICS OF GENERAL CHASSE*** +</pre> +<p>Transcribed from the 1864 Chapman and Hall “Tales of All +Countries” edition by David Price, email +ccx074@pglaf.org</p> +<h1>THE RELICS OF GENERAL CHASSÉ<br /> +<span class="GutSmall">A TALE OF ANTWERP.</span></h1> +<p><span class="smcap">That</span> Belgium is now one of the +European kingdoms, living by its own laws, resting on its own +bottom, with a king and court, palaces and parliament of its own, +is known to all the world. And a very nice little kingdom +it is; full of old towns, fine Flemish pictures, and interesting +Gothic churches. But in the memory of very many of us who +do not think ourselves old men, Belgium, as it is now +called—in those days it used to be Flanders and +Brabant—was a part of Holland; and it obtained its own +independence by a revolution. In that revolution the most +important military step was the siege of Antwerp, which was +defended on the part of the Dutch by General Chassé, with +the utmost gallantry, but nevertheless ineffectually.</p> +<p>After the siege Antwerp became quite a show place; and among +the visitors who flocked there to talk of the gallant general, +and to see what remained of the great effort which he had made to +defend the place, were two Englishmen. One was the hero of +this little history; and the other was a young man of +considerably less weight in the world. The less I say of +the latter the better; but it is necessary that I should give +some description of the former.</p> +<p>The Rev. Augustus Horne was, at the time of my narrative, a +beneficed clergyman of the Church of England. The +profession which he had graced sat easily on him. Its +external marks and signs were as pleasing to his friends as were +its internal comforts to himself. He was a man of much +quiet mirth, full of polished wit, and on some rare occasions he +could descend to the more noisy hilarity of a joke. Loved +by his friends he loved all the world. He had known no care +and seen no sorrow. Always intended for holy orders he had +entered them without a scruple, and remained within their pale +without a regret. At twenty-four he had been a deacon, at +twenty-seven a priest, at thirty a rector, and at thirty-five a +prebendary; and as his rectory was rich and his prebendal stall +well paid, the Rev. Augustus Horne was called by all, and called +himself, a happy man. His stature was about six feet two, +and his corpulence exceeded even those bounds which symmetry +would have preferred as being most perfectly compatible even with +such a height. But nevertheless Mr. Horne was a well-made +man; his hands and feet were small; his face was handsome, frank, +and full of expression; his bright eyes twinkled with humour; his +finely-cut mouth disclosed two marvellous rows of well-preserved +ivory; and his slightly aquiline nose was just such a projection +as one would wish to see on the face of a well-fed good-natured +dignitary of the Church of England. When I add to all this +that the reverend gentleman was as generous as he was +rich—and the kind mother in whose arms he had been nurtured +had taken care that he should never want—I need hardly say +that I was blessed with a very pleasant travelling companion.</p> +<p>I must mention one more interesting particular. Mr. Horne was +rather inclined to dandyism, in an innocent way. His +clerical starched neckcloth was always of the whitest, his +cambric handkerchief of the finest, his bands adorned with the +broadest border; his sable suit never degenerated to a rusty +brown; it not only gave on all occasions glossy evidence of +freshness, but also of the talent which the artisan had displayed +in turning out a well-dressed clergyman of the Church of +England. His hair was ever brushed with scrupulous +attention, and showed in its regular waves the guardian care of +each separate bristle. And all this was done with that ease +and grace which should be the characteristics of a dignitary of +the established English Church.</p> +<p>I had accompanied Mr. Horne to the Rhine; and we had reached +Brussels on our return, just at the close of that revolution +which ended in affording a throne to the son-in-law of George the +Fourth. At that moment General Chassé’s name +and fame were in every man’s mouth, and, like other curious +admirers of the brave, Mr. Horne determined to devote two days to +the scene of the late events at Antwerp. Antwerp, moreover, +possesses perhaps the finest spire, and certainly one of the +three or four finest pictures, in the world. Of General +Chassé, of the cathedral, and of the Rubens, I had heard +much, and was therefore well pleased that such should be his +resolution. This accomplished we were to return to +Brussels; and thence, via Ghent, Ostend, and Dover, I to complete +my legal studies in London, and Mr. Horne to enjoy once more the +peaceful retirement of Ollerton rectory. As we were to be +absent from Brussels but one night we were enabled to indulge in +the gratification of travelling without our luggage. A +small sac-de-nuit was prepared; brushes, combs, razors, strops, a +change of linen, &c. &c., were carefully put up; but our +heavy baggage, our coats, waistcoats, and other wearing apparel +were unnecessary. It was delightful to feel oneself so +light-handed. The reverend gentleman, with my humble self +by his side, left the portal of the Hôtel de Belle Vue at 7 +a.m., in good humour with all the world. There were no +railroads in those days; but a cabriolet, big enough to hold six +persons, with rope traces and corresponding appendages, deposited +us at the Golden Fleece in something less than six hours. +The inward man was duly fortified, and we started for the +castle.</p> +<p>It boots not here to describe the effects which gunpowder and +grape-shot had had on the walls of Antwerp. Let the curious +in these matters read the horrors of the siege of Troy, or the +history of Jerusalem taken by Titus. The one may be found +in Homer, and the other in Josephus. Or if they prefer +doings of a later date there is the taking of Sebastopol, as +narrated in the columns of the “Times” +newspaper. The accounts are equally true, instructive, and +intelligible. In the mean time allow the Rev. Augustus +Horne and myself to enter the private chambers of the renowned +though defeated general.</p> +<p>We rambled for a while through the covered way, over the +glacis and along the counterscarp, and listened to the guide as +he detailed to us, in already accustomed words, how the siege had +gone. Then we got into the private apartments of the +general, and, having dexterously shaken off our attendant, +wandered at large among the deserted rooms.</p> +<p>“It is clear that no one ever comes here,” said +I.</p> +<p>“No,” said the Rev. Augustus; “it seems not; +and to tell the truth, I don’t know why any one should +come. The chambers in themselves are not +attractive.”</p> +<p>What he said was true. They were plain, ugly, square, +unfurnished rooms, here a big one, and there a little one, as is +usual in most houses;—unfurnished, that is, for the most +part. In one place we did find a table and a few chairs, in +another a bedstead, and so on. But to me it was pleasant to +indulge in those ruminations which any traces of the great or +unfortunate create in softly sympathising minds. For a time +we communicated our thoughts to each other as we roamed free as +air through the apartments; and then I lingered for a few moments +behind, while Mr. Horne moved on with a quicker step.</p> +<p>At last I entered the bedchamber of the general, and there I +overtook my friend. He was inspecting, with much attention, +an article of the great man’s wardrobe which he held in his +hand. It was precisely that virile habiliment to which a +well-known gallant captain alludes in his conversation with the +posthumous appearance of Miss Bailey, as containing a Bank of +England £5 note.</p> +<p>“The general must have been a large man, George, or he +would hardly have filled these,” said Mr. Horne, holding up +to the light the respectable leathern articles in question. +“He must have been a very large man,—the largest man +in Antwerp, I should think; or else his tailor has done him more +than justice.”</p> +<p>They were certainly large, and had about them a charming +regimental military appearance. They were made of white +leather, with bright metal buttons at the knees and bright metal +buttons at the top. They owned no pockets, and were, with +the exception of the legitimate outlet, continuous in the +circumference of the waistband. No dangling strings gave +them an appearance of senile imbecility. Were it not for a +certain rigidity, sternness, and mental inflexibility,—we +will call it military ardour,—with which they were imbued, +they would have created envy in the bosom of a fox-hunter.</p> +<p>Mr. Horne was no fox-hunter, but still he seemed to be +irresistibly taken with the lady-like propensity of wishing to +wear them. “Surely, George,” he said, +“the general must have been a stouter man than I +am”—and he contemplated his own proportions with +complacency—“these what’s-the-names are quite +big enough for me.”</p> +<p>I differed in opinion, and was obliged to explain that I +thought he did the good living of Ollerton insufficient +justice.</p> +<p>“I am sure they are large enough for me,” he +repeated, with considerable obstinacy. I smiled +incredulously; and then to settle the matter he resolved that he +would try them on. Nobody had been in these rooms for the +last hour, and it appeared as though they were never +visited. Even the guide had not come on with us, but was +employed in showing other parties about the fortifications. +It was clear that this portion of the building was left desolate, +and that the experiment might be safely made. So the +sportive rector declared that he would for a short time wear the +regimentals which had once contained the valorous heart of +General Chassé.</p> +<p>With all decorum the Rev. Mr. Horne divested himself of the +work of the London artist’s needle, and, carefully placing +his own garments beyond the reach of dust, essayed to fit himself +in military garb.</p> +<p>At that important moment—at the critical instant of the +attempt—the clatter of female voices was heard approaching +the chamber. They must have suddenly come round some +passage corner, for it was evident by the sound that they were +close upon us before we had any warning of their advent. At +this very minute Mr. Horne was somewhat embarrassed in his +attempts, and was not fully in possession of his usual active +powers of movement, nor of his usual presence of mind. He +only looked for escape; and seeing a door partly open, he with +difficulty retreated through it, and I followed him. We +found that we were in a small dressing-room; and as by good luck +the door was defended by an inner bolt, my friend was able to +protect himself.</p> +<p>“There shall be another siege, at any rate as stout as +the last, before I surrender,” said he.</p> +<p>As the ladies seemed inclined to linger in the room it became +a matter of importance that the above-named articles should fit, +not only for ornament but for use. It was very cold, and +Mr. Horne was altogether unused to move in a Highland sphere of +life. But alas, alas! General Chassé had not +been nurtured in the classical retirement of Ollerton. The +ungiving leather would stretch no point to accommodate the +divine, though it had been willing to minister to the convenience +of the soldier. Mr. Horne was vexed and chilled; and +throwing the now hateful garments into a corner, and protecting +himself from the cold as best he might by standing with his knees +together and his body somewhat bent so as to give the skirts of +his coat an opportunity of doing extra duty, he begged me to see +if those jabbering females were not going to leave him in peace +to recover his own property. I accordingly went to the +door, and opening it to a small extent I peeped through.</p> +<p>Who shall describe my horror at the sight which I then +saw? The scene, which had hitherto been tinted with comic +effect, was now becoming so decidedly tragic that I did not dare +at once to acquaint my worthy pastor with that which was +occurring,—and, alas! had already occurred.</p> +<p>Five country-women of our own—it was easy to know them +by their dress and general aspect—were standing in the +middle of the room; and one of them, the centre of the group, the +senior harpy of the lot, a maiden lady—I could have sworn +to that—with a red nose, held in one hand a huge pair of +scissors, and in the other—the already devoted goods of my +most unfortunate companion! Down from the waistband, +through that goodly expanse, a fell gash had already gone through +and through; and in useless, unbecoming disorder the broadcloth +fell pendant from her arm on this side and on that. At that +moment I confess that I had not the courage to speak to Mr. +Horne,—not even to look at him.</p> +<p>I must describe that group. Of the figure next to me I +could only see the back. It was a broad back done up in +black silk not of the newest. The whole figure, one may +say, was dumpy. The black silk was not long, as dresses now +are worn, nor wide in its skirts. In every way it was +skimpy, considering the breadth it had to cover; and below the +silk I saw the heels of two thick shoes, and enough to swear by +of two woollen stockings. Above the silk was a red and blue +shawl; and above that a ponderous, elaborate brown bonnet, as to +the materials of which I should not wish to undergo an +examination. Over and beyond this I could only see the +backs of her two hands. They were held up as though in +wonder at that which the red-nosed holder of the scissors had +dared to do.</p> +<p>Opposite to this lady, and with her face fully tamed to me, +was a kindly-looking, fat motherly woman, with light-coloured +hair, not in the best order. She was hot and scarlet with +exercise, being perhaps too stout for the steep steps of the +fortress; and in one hand she held a handkerchief, with which +from time to time she wiped her brow. In the other hand she +held one of the extremities of my friend’s property, +feeling—good, careful soul!—what was the texture of +the cloth. As she did so, I could see a glance of +approbation pass across her warm features. I liked that +lady’s face, in spite of her untidy hair, and felt that had +she been alone my friend would not have been injured.</p> +<p>On either side of her there stood a flaxen-haired maiden, with +long curls, large blue eyes, fresh red cheeks, an undefined lumpy +nose, and large good-humoured mouth. They were as like as +two peas, only that one was half an inch taller than the other; +and there was no difficulty in discovering, at a moment’s +glance, that they were the children of that over-heated matron +who was feeling the web of my friend’s cloth.</p> +<p>But the principal figure was she who held the centre place in +the group. She was tall and thin, with fierce-looking eyes, +rendered more fierce by the spectacles which she wore; with a red +nose as I said before; and about her an undescribable something +which quite convinced me that she had never known—could +never know—aught of the comforts of married life. It +was she who held the scissors and the black garments. It +was she who had given that unkind cut. As I looked at her +she whisked herself quickly round from one companion to the +other, triumphing in what she had done, and ready to triumph +further in what she was about to do. I immediately +conceived a deep hatred for that Queen of the Harpies.</p> +<p>“Well, I suppose they can’t be wanted +again,” said the mother, rubbing her forehead.</p> +<p>“Oh dear no!” said she of the red nose. +“They are relics!” I thought to leap forth; but +for what purpose should I have leaped? The accursed +scissors had already done their work; and the symmetry, nay, even +the utility of the vestment was destroyed.</p> +<p>“General Chassé wore a very good article;—I +will say that for him,” continued the mother.</p> +<p>“Of course he did!” said the Queen Harpy. +“Why should he not, seeing that the country paid for it for +him? Well, ladies, who’s for having a bit?”</p> +<p>“Oh my! you won’t go for to cut them up,” +said the stout back.</p> +<p>“Won’t I,” said the scissors; and she +immediately made another incision. “Who’s for +having a bit? Don’t all speak at once.”</p> +<p>“I should like a morsel for a pincushion,” said +flaxen-haired Miss No. 1, a young lady about nineteen, actuated +by a general affection for all sword-bearing, fire-eating +heroes. “I should like to have something to make me +think of the poor general!”</p> +<p>Snip, snip went the scissors with professional rapidity, and a +round piece was extracted from the back of the calf of the left +leg. I shuddered with horror; and so did the Rev. Augustus +Horne with cold.</p> +<p>“I hardly think it’s proper to cut them up,” +said Miss No. 2.</p> +<p>“Oh isn’t it?” said the harpy. +“Then I’ll do what’s improper!” And +she got her finger and thumb well through the holes in the +scissors’ handles. As she spoke resolution was +plainly marked on her brow.</p> +<p>“Well, if they are to be cut up, I should certainly like +a bit for a pen-wiper,” said No. 2. No. 2 was a +literary young lady with a periodical correspondence, a journal, +and an album. Snip, snip went the scissors again, and the +broad part of the upper right division afforded ample materials +for a pen-wiper.</p> +<p>Then the lady with the back, seeing that the desecration of +the article had been completed, plucked up heart of courage and +put in her little request; “I think I might have a +needle-case out of it,” said she, “just as a suvneer +of the poor general”—and a long fragment cut rapidly +out of the waistband afforded her unqualified delight.</p> +<p>Mamma, with the hot face and untidy hair, came next. +“Well, girls,” she said, “as you are all +served, I don’t see why I’m to be left out. +Perhaps, Miss Grogram”—she was an old maid, you +see—“perhaps, Miss Grogram, you could get me as much +as would make a decent-sized reticule.”</p> +<p>There was not the slightest difficulty in doing this. +The harpy in the centre again went to work, snip, snip, and +extracting from that portion of the affairs which usually +sustained the greater portion of Mr. Horne’s weight two +large round pieces of cloth, presented them to the well-pleased +matron. “The general knew well where to get a bit of +good broadcloth, certainly,” said she, again feeling the +pieces.</p> +<p>“And now for No. 1,” said she whom I so absolutely +hated; “I think there is still enough for a pair of +slippers. There’s nothing so nice for the house as +good black cloth slippers that are warm to the feet and +don’t show the dirt.” And so saying, she spread +out on the floor the lacerated remainders.</p> +<p>“There’s a nice bit there,” said young lady +No. 2, poking at one of the pockets with the end of her +parasol.</p> +<p>“Yes,” said the harpy, contemplating her +plunder. “But I’m thinking whether I +couldn’t get leggings as well. I always wear leggings +in the thick of the winter.” And so she concluded her +operations, and there was nothing left but a melancholy skeleton +of seams and buttons.</p> +<p>All this having been achieved, they pocketed their plunder and +prepared to depart. There are people who have a wonderful +appetite for relics. A stone with which Washington had +broken a window when a boy—with which he had done so or had +not, for there is little difference; a button that was on a coat +of Napoleon’s, or on that of one of his lackeys; a bullet +said to have been picked up at Waterloo or Bunker’s Hill; +these, and suchlike things are great treasures. And their +most desirable characteristic is the ease with which they are +attained. Any bullet or any button does the work. +Faith alone is necessary. And now these ladies had made +themselves happy and glorious with “Relics” of +General Chassé cut from the ill-used habiliments of an +elderly English gentleman!</p> +<p>They departed at last, and Mr. Horne, for once in an ill +humour, followed me into the bedroom. Here I must be +excused if I draw a veil over his manly sorrow at discovering +what fate had done for him. Remember what was his position, +unclothed in the Castle of Antwerp! The nearest suitable +change for those which had been destroyed was locked up in his +portmanteau at the Hôtel de Belle Rue in Brussels! He +had nothing left to him—literally nothing, in that Antwerp +world. There was no other wretched being wandering then in +that Dutch town so utterly denuded of the goods of life. +For what is a man fit,—for what can he be fit,—when +left in such a position? There are some evils which seem +utterly to crush a man; and if there be any misfortune to which a +man may be allowed to succumb without imputation on his +manliness, surely it is such as this. How was Mr. Horne to +return to his hotel without incurring the displeasure of the +municipality? That was my first thought.</p> +<p>He had a cloak, but it was at the inn; and I found that my +friend was oppressed with a great horror at the idea of being +left alone; so that I could not go in search of it. There +is an old saying, that no man is a hero to his valet de chambre, +the reason doubtless being this, that it is customary for his +valet to see the hero divested of those trappings in which so +much of the heroic consists. Who reverences a clergyman +without his gown, or a warrior without his sword and +sabre-tasche? What would even Minerva be without her +helmet?</p> +<p>I do not wish it to be understood that I no longer reverenced +Mr. Horne because he was in an undress; but he himself certainly +lost much of his composed, well-sustained dignity of +demeanour. He was fearful and querulous, cold, and rather +cross. When, forgetting his size, I offered him my own, he +thought that I was laughing at him. He began to be afraid +that the story would get abroad, and he then and there exacted a +promise that I would never tell it during his lifetime. I +have kept my word; but now my old friend has been gathered to his +fathers, full of years.</p> +<p>At last I got him to the hotel. It was long before he +would leave the castle, cloaked though he was;—not, indeed, +till the shades of evening had dimmed the outlines of men and +things, and made indistinct the outward garniture of those who +passed to and fro in the streets. Then, wrapped in his +cloak, Mr. Horne followed me along the quays and through the +narrowest of the streets; and at length, without venturing to +return the gaze of any one in the hotel court, he made his way up +to his own bedroom.</p> +<p>Dinnerless and supperless he went to his couch. But when +there he did consent to receive some consolation in the shape of +mutton cutlets and fried potatoes, a savory omelet, and a bottle +of claret. The mutton cutlets and fried potatoes at the +Golden Fleece at Antwerp are—or were then, for I am +speaking now of well-nigh thirty years since—remarkably +good; the claret, also, was of the best; and so, by degrees, the +look of despairing dismay passed from his face, and some +scintillations of the old fire returned to his eyes.</p> +<p>“I wonder whether they find themselves much happier for +what they have got?” said he.</p> +<p>“A great deal happier,” said I. +“They’ll boast of those things to all their friends +at home, and we shall doubtless see some account of their success +in the newspapers.”</p> +<p>“It would be delightful to expose their +blunder,—to show them up. Would it not, George? +To turn the tables on them?”</p> +<p>“Yes,” said I, “I should like to have the +laugh against them.”</p> +<p>“So would I, only that I should compromise myself by +telling the story. It wouldn’t do at all to have it +told at Oxford with my name attached to it.”</p> +<p>To this also I assented. To what would I not have +assented in my anxiety to make him happy after his misery?</p> +<p>But all was not over yet. He was in bed now, but it was +necessary that he should rise again on the morrow. At home, +in England, what was required might perhaps have been made during +the night; but here, among the slow Flemings, any such exertion +would have been impossible. Mr. Horne, moreover, had no +desire to be troubled in his retirement by a tailor.</p> +<p>Now the landlord of the Golden Fleece was a very stout +man,—a very stout man indeed. Looking at him as he +stood with his hands in his pockets at the portal of his own +establishment, I could not but think that he was stouter even +than Mr. Horne. But then he was certainly much shorter, and +the want of due proportion probably added to his unwieldy +appearance. I walked round him once or twice wishfully, +measuring him in my eye, and thinking of what texture might be +the Sunday best of such a man. The clothes which he then +had on were certainly not exactly suited to Mr. Horne’s +tastes.</p> +<p>He saw that I was observing him, and appeared uneasy and +offended. I had already ascertained that he spoke a little +English. Of Flemish I knew literally nothing, and in +French, with which probably he was also acquainted, I was by no +means voluble. The business which I had to transact was +intricate, and I required the use of my mother-tongue.</p> +<p>It was intricate and delicate, and difficult withal. I +began by remarking on the weather, but he did not take my remarks +kindly. I am inclined to fancy that he thought I was +desirous of borrowing money from him. At any rate he gave +me no encouragement in my first advances.</p> +<p>“Vat misfortune?” at last he asked, when I had +succeeded in making him understand that a gentleman up stairs +required his assistance.</p> +<p>“He has lost these things,” and I took hold of my +own garments. “It’s a long story, or I’d +tell you how; but he has not a pair in the world till he gets +back to Brussels,—unless you can lend him one.”</p> +<p>“Lost hees br-?” and he opened his eyes wide, and +looked at me with astonishment.</p> +<p>“Yes, yes, exactly so,” said I, interrupting +him. “Most astonishing thing, isn’t it? +But it’s quite true.”</p> +<p>“Vas hees money in de pocket?” asked my auspicious +landlord.</p> +<p>“No, no, no. It’s not so bad as that, his +money is all right. I had the money, luckily.”</p> +<p>“Ah! dat is better. But he have lost hees +b-?”</p> +<p>“Yes, yes;” I was now getting rather +impatient. “There is no mistake about it. He +has lost them as sure as you stand there.” And then I +proceeded to explain that as the gentleman in question was very +stout, and as he, the landlord, was stout also, he might assist +us in this great calamity by a loan from his own wardrobe.</p> +<p>When he found that the money was not in the pocket, and that +his bill therefore would be paid, he was not indisposed to be +gracious. He would, he said, desire his servant to take up +what was required to Mr. Horne’s chamber. I +endeavoured to make him understand that a sombre colour would be +preferable; but he only answered that he would put the best that +he had at the gentleman’s disposal. He could not +think of offering anything less than his best on such an +occasion. And then he turned his back and went his way, +muttering as he went something in Flemish, which I believed to be +an exclamation of astonishment that any man should, under any +circumstances, lose such an article.</p> +<p>It was now getting late; so when I had taken a short stroll by +myself, I went to bed without disturbing Mr. Horne again that +night. On the following morning I thought it best not to go +to him unless he sent for me; so I desired the boots to let him +know that I had ordered breakfast in a private room, and that I +would await him there unless he wished to see me. He sent +me word back to say that he would be with me very shortly.</p> +<p>He did not keep me waiting above half an hour, but I confess +that that half hour was not pleasantly spent. I feared that +his temper would be tried in dressing, and that he would not be +able to eat his breakfast in a happy state of mind. So that +when I heard his heavy footstep advancing along the passage my +heart did misgive me, and I felt that I was trembling.</p> +<p>That step was certainly slower and more ponderous than +usual. There was always a certain dignity in the very sound +of his movements, but now this seemed to have been +enhanced. To judge merely by the step one would have said +that a bishop was coming that way instead of a prebendary.</p> +<p>And then he entered. In the upper half of his august +person no alteration was perceptible. The hair was as +regular and as graceful as ever, the handkerchief as white, the +coat as immaculate; but below his well-filled waistcoat a pair of +red plush began to shine in unmitigated splendour, and continued +from thence down to within an inch above his knee; nor, as it +appeared, could any pulling induce them to descend lower. +Mr. Horne always wore black silk stockings,—at least so the +world supposed, but it was now apparent that the world had been +wrong in presuming him to be guilty of such extravagance. +Those, at any rate, which he exhibited on the present occasion +were more economical. They were silk to the calf, but +thence upwards they continued their career in white cotton. +These then followed the plush; first two snowy, full-sized +pillars of white, and then two jet columns of flossy silk. +Such was the appearance, on that well-remembered morning, of the +Rev. Augustus Horne, as he entered the room in which his +breakfast was prepared.</p> +<p>I could see at a glance that a dark frown contracted his +eyebrows, and that the compressed muscles of his upper lip gave a +strange degree of austerity to his open face. He carried +his head proudly on high, determined to be dignified in spite of +his misfortunes, and advanced two steps into the room without a +remark, as though he were able to show that neither red plush nor +black cloth could disarrange the equal poise of his mighty +mind!</p> +<p>And after all what are a man’s garments but the outward +husks in which the fruit is kept, duly tempered from the +wind?</p> +<blockquote><p>“The rank is but the guinea stamp,<br /> +The man’s the gowd for a’ that.”</p> +</blockquote> +<p>And is not the tailor’s art as little worthy, as +insignificant as that of the king who makes</p> +<blockquote><p>“A marquis, duke, and a’ +that”?</p> +</blockquote> +<p>Who would be content to think that his manly dignity depended +on his coat and waistcoat, or his hold on the world’s +esteem on any other garment of usual wear? That no such +weakness soiled his mind Mr. Horne was determined to prove; and +thus he entered the room with measured tread, and stern dignified +demeanour.</p> +<p>Having advanced two steps his eye caught mine. I do not +know whether he was moved by some unconscious smile on my +part;—for in truth I endeavoured to seem as indifferent as +himself to the nature of his dress;—or whether he was +invincibly tickled by some inward fancy of his own, but suddenly +his advancing step ceased, a broad flash of comic humour spread +itself over his features, he retreated with his back against the +wall, and then burst out into an immoderate roar of loud +laughter.</p> +<p>And I—what else could I then do but laugh? He +laughed, and I laughed. He roared, and I roared. He +lifted up his vast legs to view till the rays of the morning sun +shone through the window on the bright hues which he displayed; +and he did not sit down to his breakfast till he had in every +fantastic attitude shown off to the best advantage the red plush +of which he had so recently become proud.</p> +<p>An Antwerp private cabriolet on that day reached the yard of +the Hôtel de Belle Vue at about 4 p.m., and four waiters, +in a frenzy of astonishment, saw the Reverend Augustus Horne +descend from the vehicle and seek his chamber dressed in the +garments which I have described. But I am inclined to think +that he never again favoured any of his friends with such a +sight.</p> +<p>It was on the next evening after this that I went out to drink +tea with two maiden ladies, relatives of mine, who kept a +seminary for English girls at Brussels. The Misses Macmanus +were very worthy women, and earned their bread in an upright, +painstaking manner. I would not for worlds have passed +through Brussels without paying them this compliment. They +were, however, perhaps a little dull, and I was aware that I +should not probably meet in their drawing-room many of the +fashionable inhabitants of the city. Mr. Horne had declined +to accompany me; but in doing so he was good enough to express a +warm admiration for the character of my worthy cousins.</p> +<p>The elder Miss Macmanus, in her little note, had informed me +that she would have the pleasure of introducing me to a few of my +“compatriots.” I presumed she meant Englishmen; +and as I was in the habit of meeting such every day of my life at +home, I cannot say that I was peculiarly elevated by the +promise. When, however, I entered the room, there was no +Englishman there;—there was no man of any kind. There +were twelve ladies collected together with the view of making the +evening pass agreeably to me, the single virile being among them +all. I felt as though I were a sort of Mohammed in +Paradise; but I certainly felt also that the Paradise was none of +my own choosing.</p> +<p>In the centre of the amphitheatre which the ladies formed sat +the two Misses Macmanus;—there, at least, they sat when +they had completed the process of shaking hands with me. To +the left of them, making one wing of the semicircle, were +arranged the five pupils by attending to whom the Misses Macmanus +earned their living; and the other wing consisted of the five +ladies who had furnished themselves with relics of General +Chassé. They were my “compatriots.”</p> +<p>I was introduced to them all, one after the other; but their +names did not abide in my memory one moment. I was thinking +too much of the singularity of the adventure, and could not +attend to such minutiæ. That the red-rosed harpy was +Miss Grogram, that I remembered;—that, I may say, I shall +never forget. But whether the motherly lady with the +somewhat blowsy hair was Mrs. Jones, or Mrs. Green, or Mrs. +Walker, I cannot now say. The dumpy female with the broad +back was always called Aunt Sally by the young ladies.</p> +<p>Too much sugar spoils one’s tea; I think I have heard +that even prosperity will cloy when it comes in overdoses; and a +schoolboy has been known to be overdone with jam. I myself +have always been peculiarly attached to ladies’ society, +and have avoided bachelor parties as things execrable in their +very nature. But on this special occasion I felt myself to +be that schoolboy;—I was literally overdone with jam. +My tea was all sugar, so that I could not drink it. I was +one among twelve. What could I do or say? The +proportion of alloy was too small to have any effect in changing +the nature of the virgin silver, and the conversation became +absolutely feminine.</p> +<p>I must confess also that my previous experience as to these +compatriots of mine had not prejudiced me in their favour. +I regarded them with,—I am ashamed to say so, seeing that +they were ladies,—but almost with loathing. When last +I had seen them their occupation had reminded me of some obscene +feast of harpies, or almost of ghouls. They had brought +down to the verge of desperation the man whom of all men I most +venerated. On these accounts I was inclined to be taciturn +with reference to them;—and then what could I have to say +to the Misses Macmanus’s five pupils?</p> +<p>My cousin at first made an effort or two in my favour, but +these efforts were fruitless. I soon died away into utter +unrecognised insignificance, and the conversation, as I have +before said, became feminine. And indeed that horrid Miss +Grogram, who was, as it were, the princess of the ghouls, nearly +monopolised the whole of it. Mamma Jones—we will call +her Jones for the occasion—put in a word now and then, as +did also the elder and more energetic Miss Macmanus. The +dumpy lady with the broad back ate tea-cake incessantly; the two +daughters looked scornful, as though they were above their +company with reference to the five pupils; and the five pupils +themselves sat in a row with the utmost propriety, each with her +hands crossed on her lap before her.</p> +<p>Of what they were talking at last I became utterly +oblivious. They had ignored me, going into realms of +muslin, questions of maid-servants, female rights, and cheap +under-clothing; and I therefore had ignored them. My mind +had gone back to Mr. Horne and his garments. While they +spoke of their rights, I was thinking of his wrongs; when they +mentioned the price of flannel, I thought of that of +broadcloth.</p> +<p>But of a sudden my attention was arrested. Miss Macmanus +had said something of the black silks of Antwerp, when Miss +Grogram replied that she had just returned from that city and had +there enjoyed a great success. My cousin had again asked +something about the black silks, thinking, no doubt, that Miss +Grogram had achieved some bargain, but that lady had soon +undeceived her.</p> +<p>“Oh no,” said Miss Grogram, “it was at the +castle. We got such beautiful relics of General +Chassé! Didn’t we, Mrs. Jones?”</p> +<p>“Indeed we did,” said Mrs. Jones, bringing out +from beneath the skirts of her dress and ostensibly displaying a +large black bag.</p> +<p>“And I’ve got such a beautiful needle-case,” +said the broad-back, displaying her prize. +“I’ve been making it up all the morning.” +And she handed over the article to Miss Macmanus.</p> +<p>“And only look at this duck of a pen-wiper,” +simpered flaxen-hair No. 2. “Only think of wiping +one’s pens with relics of General Chassé!” and +she handed it over to the other Miss Macmanus.</p> +<p>“And mine’s a pin-cushion,” said No. 1, +exhibiting the trophy.</p> +<p>“But that’s nothing to what I’ve got,” +said Miss Grogram. “In the first place, there’s +a pair of slippers,—a beautiful pair;—they’re +not made up yet, of course; and then—”</p> +<p>The two Misses Macmanus and their five pupils were sitting +open-eared, open-eyed, and open-mouthed. How all these +sombre-looking articles could be relics of General Chassé +did not at first appear clear to them.</p> +<p>“What are they, Miss Grogram?” said the elder Miss +Macmanus, holding the needle-case in one hand and Mrs. +Jones’s bag in the other. Miss Macmanus was a +strong-minded female, and I reverenced my cousin when I saw the +decided way in which she intended to put down the greedy +arrogance of Miss Grogram.</p> +<p>“They are relics.”</p> +<p>“But where do they come from, Miss Grogram?”</p> +<p>“Why, from the castle, to be sure;—from General +Chassé’s own rooms.”</p> +<p>“Did anybody sell them to you?”</p> +<p>“No.”</p> +<p>“Or give them to you?”</p> +<p>“Why, no;—at least not exactly give.”</p> +<p>“There they were, and she took ’em,” said +the broad-back. Oh, what a look Miss Grogram gave +her! “Took them! of course I took them. That +is, you took them as much as I did. They were things that +we found lying about.”</p> +<p>“What things?” asked Miss Macmanus, in a +peculiarly strong-minded tone.</p> +<p>Miss Grogram seemed to be for a moment silenced. I had +been ignored, as I have said, and my existence forgotten; but now +I observed that the eyes of the culprits were turned towards +me,—the eyes, that is, of four of them. Mrs. Jones +looked at me from beneath her fan; the two girls glanced at me +furtively, and then their eyes fell to the lowest flounces of +their frocks.</p> +<p>Miss Grogram turned her spectacles right upon me, and I +fancied that she nodded her head at me as a sort of answer to +Miss Macmanus. The five pupils opened their mouths and eyes +wider; but she of the broad back was nothing abashed. It +would have been nothing to her had there been a dozen gentlemen +in the room. “We just found a pair of +black—.” The whole truth was told in the +plainest possible language.</p> +<p>“Oh, Aunt Sally!” “Aunt Sally, how can +you?” “Hold your tongue, Aunt Sally!”</p> +<p>“And then Miss Grogram just cut them up with her +scissors,” continued Aunt Sally, not a whit abashed, +“and gave us each a bit, only she took more than half for +herself.” It was clear to me that there had been some +quarrel, some delicious quarrel, between Aunt Sally and Miss +Grogram. Through the whole adventure I had rather respected +Aunt Sally. “She took more than half for +herself,” continued Aunt Sally. “She kept all +the—”</p> +<p>“Jemima,” said the elder Miss Macmanus, +interrupting the speaker and addressing her sister, “it is +time, I think, for the young ladies to retire. Will you be +kind enough to see them to their rooms?” The five +pupils thereupon rose from their seats—and +courtesied. They then left the room in file, the younger +Miss Macmanus showing them the way.</p> +<p>“But we haven’t done any harm, have we?” +asked Mrs. Jones, with some tremulousness in her voice.</p> +<p>“Well, I don’t know,” said Miss +Macmanus. “What I’m thinking of now is +this;—to whom, I wonder, did the garments properly +belong? Who had been the owner and wearer of +them?”</p> +<p>“Why, General Chassé of course,” said Miss +Grogram.</p> +<p>“They were the general’s,” repeated the two +young ladies; blushing, however, as they alluded to the +subject.</p> +<p>“Well, we thought they were the general’s, +certainly; and a very excellent article they were,” said +Mrs. Jones.</p> +<p>“Perhaps they were the butler’s?” said Aunt +Sally. I certainly had not given her credit for so much +sarcasm.</p> +<p>“Butler’s!” exclaimed Miss Grogram, with a +toss of her head.</p> +<p>“Oh, Aunt Sally, Aunt Sally! how can you?” +shrieked the two young ladies.</p> +<p>“Oh laws!” ejaculated Mrs. Jones.</p> +<p>“I don’t think that they could have belonged to +the butler,” said Miss Macmanus, with much authority, +“seeing that domestics in this country are never clad in +garments of that description; so far my own observation enables +me to speak with certainty. But it is equally sure that +they were never the property of the general lately in command at +Antwerp. Generals, when they are in full dress, wear +ornamental lace upon their—their regimentals; and +when—” So much she said, and something more, +which it may be unnecessary that I should repeat; but such were +her eloquence and logic that no doubt would have been left on the +mind of any impartial hearer. If an argumentative speaker +ever proved anything, Miss Macmanus proved that General +Chassé had never been the wearer of the article in +question.</p> +<p>“But I know very well they were his!” said Miss +Grogram, who was not an impartial hearer. “Of course +they were; whose else’s should they be?”</p> +<p>“I’m sure I hope they were his,” said one of +the young ladies, almost crying.</p> +<p>“I wish I’d never taken it,” said the +other.</p> +<p>“Dear, dear, dear!” said Mrs. Jones.</p> +<p>“I’ll give you my needle-case, Miss +Grogram,” said Aunt Sally.</p> +<p>I had sat hitherto silent during the whole scene, meditating +how best I might confound the red-nosed harpy. Now, I +thought, was the time for me to strike in.</p> +<p>“I really think, ladies, that there has been some +mistake,” said I.</p> +<p>“There has been no mistake at all, sir!” said Miss +Grogram.</p> +<p>“Perhaps not,” I answered, very mildly; +“very likely not. But some affair of a similar nature +was very much talked about in Antwerp yesterday.”</p> +<p>“Oh laws!” again ejaculated Mrs. Jones.</p> +<p>“The affair I allude to has been talked about a good +deal, certainly,” I continued. “But perhaps it +may be altogether a different circumstance.”</p> +<p>“And what may be the circumstance to which you +allude?” asked Miss Macmanus, in the same authoritative +tone.</p> +<p>“I dare say it has nothing to do with these +ladies,” said I; “but an article of dress, of the +nature they have described, was cut up in the Castle of Antwerp +on the day before yesterday. It belonged to a gentleman who +was visiting the place; and I was given to understand that he is +determined to punish the people who have wronged him.”</p> +<p>“It can’t be the same,” said Miss Grogram; +but I could see that she was trembling.</p> +<p>“Oh laws! what will become of us?” said Mrs. +Jones.</p> +<p>“You can all prove that I didn’t touch them, and +that I warned her not,” said Aunt Sally. In the mean +time the two young ladies had almost fainted behind their +fans.</p> +<p>“But how had it come to pass,” asked Miss +Macmanus, “that the gentleman had—”</p> +<p>“I know nothing more about it, cousin,” said I; +“only it does seem that there is an odd +coincidence.”</p> +<p>Immediately after this I took my leave. I saw that I had +avenged my friend, and spread dismay in the hearts of these who +had injured him. I had learned in the course of the evening +at what hotel the five ladies were staying; and in the course of +the next morning I sauntered into the hall, and finding one of +the porters alone, asked if they were still there. The man +told me that they had started by the earliest diligence. +“And,” said he, “if you are a friend of theirs, +perhaps you will take charge of these things, which they have +left behind them?” So saying, he pointed to a table +at the back of the hall, on which were lying the black bag, the +black needle-case, the black pin cushion, and the black +pen-wiper. There was also a heap of fragments of cloth +which I well knew had been intended by Miss Grogram for the +comfort of her feet and ancles.</p> +<p>I declined the commission, however. “They were no +special friends of mine,” I said; and I left all the relics +still lying on the little table in the back hall.</p> +<p>“Upon the whole, I am satisfied!” said the Rev. +Augustus Horne, when I told him the finale of the story.</p> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RELICS OF GENERAL CHASSE***</p> +<pre> + + +***** This file should be named 3711-h.htm or 3711-h.zip****** + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/7/1/3711 + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will +be renamed. + +Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright +law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, +so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United +States without permission and without paying copyright +royalties. 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Hart +and may be reprinted only when these Etexts are free of all fees.] +[Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be used in any sales +of Project Gutenberg Etexts or other materials be they hardware or +software or any other related product without express permission.] + +*END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.07/27/01*END* + + + + + +This etext was produced by David Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk, +from the 1864 Chapman & Hall "Tales of all Countries" edition. + + + + + +THE RELICS OF GENERAL CHASSE--A TALE OF ANTWERP + +by Anthony Trollope + + + + +That Belgium is now one of the European kingdoms, living by its own +laws, resting on its own bottom, with a king and court, palaces and +parliament of its own, is known to all the world. And a very nice +little kingdom it is; full of old towns, fine Flemish pictures, and +interesting Gothic churches. But in the memory of very many of us +who do not think ourselves old men, Belgium, as it is now called--in +those days it used to be Flanders and Brabant--was a part of +Holland; and it obtained its own independence by a revolution. In +that revolution the most important military step was the siege of +Antwerp, which was defended on the part of the Dutch by General +Chasse, with the utmost gallantry, but nevertheless ineffectually. + +After the siege Antwerp became quite a show place; and among the +visitors who flocked there to talk of the gallant general, and to +see what remained of the great effort which he had made to defend +the place, were two Englishmen. One was the hero of this little +history; and the other was a young man of considerably less weight +in the world. The less I say of the latter the better; but it is +necessary that I should give some description of the former. + +The Rev. Augustus Horne was, at the time of my narrative, a +beneficed clergyman of the Church of England. The profession which +he had graced sat easily on him. Its external marks and signs were +as pleasing to his friends as were its internal comforts to himself. +He was a man of much quiet mirth, full of polished wit, and on some +rare occasions he could descend to the more noisy hilarity of a +joke. Loved by his friends he loved all the world. He had known no +care and seen no sorrow. Always intended for holy orders he had +entered them without a scruple, and remained within their pale +without a regret. At twenty-four he had been a deacon, at twenty- +seven a priest, at thirty a rector, and at thirty-five a prebendary; +and as his rectory was rich and his prebendal stall well paid, the +Rev. Augustus Horne was called by all, and called himself, a happy +man. His stature was about six feet two, and his corpulence +exceeded even those bounds which symmetry would have preferred as +being most perfectly compatible even with such a height. But +nevertheless Mr. Horne was a well-made man; his hands and feet were +small; his face was handsome, frank, and full of expression; his +bright eyes twinkled with humour; his finely-cut mouth disclosed two +marvellous rows of well-preserved ivory; and his slightly aquiline +nose was just such a projection as one would wish to see on the face +of a well-fed good-natured dignitary of the Church of England. When +I add to all this that the reverend gentleman was as generous as he +was rich--and the kind mother in whose arms he had been nurtured had +taken care that he should never want--I need hardly say that I was +blessed with a very pleasant travelling companion. + +I must mention one more interesting particular. Mr. Horne was rather +inclined to dandyism, in an innocent way. His clerical starched +neckcloth was always of the whitest, his cambric handkerchief of the +finest, his bands adorned with the broadest border; his sable suit +never degenerated to a rusty brown; it not only gave on all +occasions glossy evidence of freshness, but also of the talent which +the artisan had displayed in turning out a well-dressed clergyman of +the Church of England. His hair was ever brushed with scrupulous +attention, and showed in its regular waves the guardian care of each +separate bristle. And all this was done with that ease and grace +which should be the characteristics of a dignitary of the +established English Church. + +I had accompanied Mr. Horne to the Rhine; and we had reached +Brussels on our return, just at the close of that revolution which +ended in affording a throne to the son-in-law of George the Fourth. +At that moment General Chasse's name and fame were in every man's +mouth, and, like other curious admirers of the brave, Mr. Horne +determined to devote two days to the scene of the late events at +Antwerp. Antwerp, moreover, possesses perhaps the finest spire, and +certainly one of the three or four finest pictures, in the world. +Of General Chasse, of the cathedral, and of the Rubens, I had heard +much, and was therefore well pleased that such should be his +resolution. This accomplished we were to return to Brussels; and +thence, via Ghent, Ostend, and Dover, I to complete my legal studies +in London, and Mr. Horne to enjoy once more the peaceful retirement +of Ollerton rectory. As we were to be absent from Brussels but one +night we were enabled to indulge in the gratification of travelling +without our luggage. A small sac-de-nuit was prepared; brushes, +combs, razors, strops, a change of linen, &c. &c., were carefully +put up; but our heavy baggage, our coats, waistcoats, and other +wearing apparel were unnecessary. It was delightful to feel oneself +so light-handed. The reverend gentleman, with my humble self by his +side, left the portal of the Hotel de Belle Vue at 7 a.m., in good +humour with all the world. There were no railroads in those days; +but a cabriolet, big enough to hold six persons, with rope traces +and corresponding appendages, deposited us at the Golden Fleece in +something less than six hours. The inward man was duly fortified, +and we started for the castle. + +It boots not here to describe the effects which gunpowder and grape- +shot had had on the walls of Antwerp. Let the curious in these +matters read the horrors of the siege of Troy, or the history of +Jerusalem taken by Titus. The one may be found in Homer, and the +other in Josephus. Or if they prefer doings of a later date there +is the taking of Sebastopol, as narrated in the columns of the +"Times" newspaper. The accounts are equally true, instructive, and +intelligible. In the mean time allow the Rev. Augustus Horne and +myself to enter the private chambers of the renowned though defeated +general. + +We rambled for a while through the covered way, over the glacis and +along the counterscarp, and listened to the guide as he detailed to +us, in already accustomed words, how the siege had gone. Then we +got into the private apartments of the general, and, having +dexterously shaken off our attendant, wandered at large among the +deserted rooms. + +"It is clear that no one ever comes here," said I. + +"No," said the Rev. Augustus; "it seems not; and to tell the truth, +I don't know why any one should come. The chambers in themselves +are not attractive." + +What he said was true. They were plain, ugly, square, unfurnished +rooms, here a big one, and there a little one, as is usual in most +houses;--unfurnished, that is, for the most part. In one place we +did find a table and a few chairs, in another a bedstead, and so on. +But to me it was pleasant to indulge in those ruminations which any +traces of the great or unfortunate create in softly sympathising +minds. For a time we communicated our thoughts to each other as we +roamed free as air through the apartments; and then I lingered for a +few moments behind, while Mr. Horne moved on with a quicker step. + +At last I entered the bedchamber of the general, and there I +overtook my friend. He was inspecting, with much attention, an +article of the great man's wardrobe which he held in his hand. It +was precisely that virile habiliment to which a well-known gallant +captain alludes in his conversation with the posthumous appearance +of Miss Bailey, as containing a Bank of England 5 pound note. + +"The general must have been a large man, George, or he would hardly +have filled these," said Mr. Horne, holding up to the light the +respectable leathern articles in question. "He must have been a +very large man,--the largest man in Antwerp, I should think; or else +his tailor has done him more than justice." + +They were certainly large, and had about them a charming regimental +military appearance. They were made of white leather, with bright +metal buttons at the knees and bright metal buttons at the top. +They owned no pockets, and were, with the exception of the +legitimate outlet, continuous in the circumference of the waistband. +No dangling strings gave them an appearance of senile imbecility. +Were it not for a certain rigidity, sternness, and mental +inflexibility,--we will call it military ardour,--with which they +were imbued, they would have created envy in the bosom of a fox- +hunter. + +Mr. Horne was no fox-hunter, but still he seemed to be irresistibly +taken with the lady-like propensity of wishing to wear them. +"Surely, George," he said, "the general must have been a stouter man +than I am"--and he contemplated his own proportions with +complacency--"these what's-the-names are quite big enough for me." + +I differed in opinion, and was obliged to explain that I thought he +did the good living of Ollerton insufficient justice. + +"I am sure they are large enough for me," he repeated, with +considerable obstinacy. I smiled incredulously; and then to settle +the matter he resolved that he would try them on. Nobody had been +in these rooms for the last hour, and it appeared as though they +were never visited. Even the guide had not come on with us, but was +employed in showing other parties about the fortifications. It was +clear that this portion of the building was left desolate, and that +the experiment might be safely made. So the sportive rector +declared that he would for a short time wear the regimentals which +had once contained the valorous heart of General Chasse. + +With all decorum the Rev. Mr. Horne divested himself of the work of +the London artist's needle, and, carefully placing his own garments +beyond the reach of dust, essayed to fit himself in military garb. + +At that important moment--at the critical instant of the attempt-- +the clatter of female voices was heard approaching the chamber. +They must have suddenly come round some passage corner, for it was +evident by the sound that they were close upon us before we had any +warning of their advent. At this very minute Mr. Horne was somewhat +embarrassed in his attempts, and was not fully in possession of his +usual active powers of movement, nor of his usual presence of mind. +He only looked for escape; and seeing a door partly open, he with +difficulty retreated through it, and I followed him. We found that +we were in a small dressing-room; and as by good luck the door was +defended by an inner bolt, my friend was able to protect himself. + +"There shall be another siege, at any rate as stout as the last, +before I surrender," said he. + +As the ladies seemed inclined to linger in the room it became a +matter of importance that the above-named articles should fit, not +only for ornament but for use. It was very cold, and Mr. Horne was +altogether unused to move in a Highland sphere of life. But alas, +alas! General Chasse had not been nurtured in the classical +retirement of Ollerton. The ungiving leather would stretch no point +to accommodate the divine, though it had been willing to minister to +the convenience of the soldier. Mr. Horne was vexed and chilled; +and throwing the now hateful garments into a corner, and protecting +himself from the cold as best he might by standing with his knees +together and his body somewhat bent so as to give the skirts of his +coat an opportunity of doing extra duty, he begged me to see if +those jabbering females were not going to leave him in peace to +recover his own property. I accordingly went to the door, and +opening it to a small extent I peeped through. + +Who shall describe my horror at the sight which I then saw? The +scene, which had hitherto been tinted with comic effect, was now +becoming so decidedly tragic that I did not dare at once to acquaint +my worthy pastor with that which was occurring,--and, alas! had +already occurred. + +Five country-women of our own--it was easy to know them by their +dress and general aspect--were standing in the middle of the room; +and one of them, the centre of the group, the senior harpy of the +lot, a maiden lady--I could have sworn to that--with a red nose, +held in one hand a huge pair of scissors, and in the other--the +already devoted goods of my most unfortunate companion! Down from +the waistband, through that goodly expanse, a fell gash had already +gone through and through; and in useless, unbecoming disorder the +broadcloth fell pendant from her arm on this side and on that. At +that moment I confess that I had not the courage to speak to Mr. +Horne,--not even to look at him. + +I must describe that group. Of the figure next to me I could only +see the back. It was a broad back done up in black silk not of the +newest. The whole figure, one may say, was dumpy. The black silk +was not long, as dresses now are worn, nor wide in its skirts. In +every way it was skimpy, considering the breadth it had to cover; +and below the silk I saw the heels of two thick shoes, and enough to +swear by of two woollen stockings. Above the silk was a red and +blue shawl; and above that a ponderous, elaborate brown bonnet, as +to the materials of which I should not wish to undergo an +examination. Over and beyond this I could only see the backs of her +two hands. They were held up as though in wonder at that which the +red-nosed holder of the scissors had dared to do. + +Opposite to this lady, and with her face fully tamed to me, was a +kindly-looking, fat motherly woman, with light-coloured hair, not in +the best order. She was hot and scarlet with exercise, being +perhaps too stout for the steep steps of the fortress; and in one +hand she held a handkerchief, with which from time to time she wiped +her brow. In the other hand she held one of the extremities of my +friend's property, feeling--good, careful soul!--what was the +texture of the cloth. As she did so, I could see a glance of +approbation pass across her warm features. I liked that lady's +face, in spite of her untidy hair, and felt that had she been alone +my friend would not have been injured. + +On either side of her there stood a flaxen-haired maiden, with long +curls, large blue eyes, fresh red cheeks, an undefined lumpy nose, +and large good-humoured mouth. They were as like as two peas, only +that one was half an inch taller than the other; and there was no +difficulty in discovering, at a moment's glance, that they were the +children of that over-heated matron who was feeling the web of my +friend's cloth. + +But the principal figure was she who held the centre place in the +group. She was tall and thin, with fierce-looking eyes, rendered +more fierce by the spectacles which she wore; with a red nose as I +said before; and about her an undescribable something which quite +convinced me that she had never known--could never know--aught of +the comforts of married life. It was she who held the scissors and +the black garments. It was she who had given that unkind cut. As I +looked at her she whisked herself quickly round from one companion +to the other, triumphing in what she had done, and ready to triumph +further in what she was about to do. I immediately conceived a deep +hatred for that Queen of the Harpies. + +"Well, I suppose they can't be wanted again," said the mother, +rubbing her forehead. + +"Oh dear no!" said she of the red nose. "They are relics!" I +thought to leap forth; but for what purpose should I have leaped? +The accursed scissors had already done their work; and the symmetry, +nay, even the utility of the vestment was destroyed. + +"General Chasse wore a very good article;--I will say that for him," +continued the mother. + +"Of course he did!" said the Queen Harpy. "Why should he not, +seeing that the country paid for it for him? Well, ladies, who's +for having a bit?" + +"Oh my! you won't go for to cut them up," said the stout back. + +"Won't I," said the scissors; and she immediately made another +incision. "Who's for having a bit? Don't all speak at once." + +"I should like a morsel for a pincushion," said flaxen-haired Miss +No. 1, a young lady about nineteen, actuated by a general affection +for all sword-bearing, fire-eating heroes. "I should like to have +something to make me think of the poor general!" + +Snip, snip went the scissors with professional rapidity, and a round +piece was extracted from the back of the calf of the left leg. I +shuddered with horror; and so did the Rev. Augustus Horne with cold. + +"I hardly think it's proper to cut them up," said Miss No. 2. + +"Oh isn't it?" said the harpy. "Then I'll do what's improper!" And +she got her finger and thumb well through the holes in the scissors' +handles. As she spoke resolution was plainly marked on her brow. + +"Well, if they are to be cut up, I should certainly like a bit for a +pen-wiper," said No. 2. No. 2 was a literary young lady with a +periodical correspondence, a journal, and an album. Snip, snip went +the scissors again, and the broad part of the upper right division +afforded ample materials for a pen-wiper. + +Then the lady with the back, seeing that the desecration of the +article had been completed, plucked up heart of courage and put in +her little request; "I think I might have a needle-case out of it," +said she, "just as a suvneer of the poor general"--and a long +fragment cut rapidly out of the waistband afforded her unqualified +delight. + +Mamma, with the hot face and untidy hair, came next. "Well, girls," +she said, "as you are all served, I don't see why I'm to be left +out. Perhaps, Miss Grogram"--she was an old maid, you see-- +"perhaps, Miss Grogram, you could get me as much as would make a +decent-sized reticule." + +There was not the slightest difficulty in doing this. The harpy in +the centre again went to work, snip, snip, and extracting from that +portion of the affairs which usually sustained the greater portion +of Mr. Horne's weight two large round pieces of cloth, presented +them to the well-pleased matron. "The general knew well where to +get a bit of good broadcloth, certainly," said she, again feeling +the pieces. + +"And now for No. 1," said she whom I so absolutely hated; "I think +there is still enough for a pair of slippers. There's nothing so +nice for the house as good black cloth slippers that are warm to the +feet and don't show the dirt." And so saying, she spread out on the +floor the lacerated remainders. + +"There's a nice bit there," said young lady No. 2, poking at one of +the pockets with the end of her parasol. + +"Yes," said the harpy, contemplating her plunder. "But I'm thinking +whether I couldn't get leggings as well. I always wear leggings in +the thick of the winter." And so she concluded her operations, and +there was nothing left but a melancholy skeleton of seams and +buttons. + +All this having been achieved, they pocketed their plunder and +prepared to depart. There are people who have a wonderful appetite +for relics. A stone with which Washington had broken a window when +a boy--with which he had done so or had not, for there is little +difference; a button that was on a coat of Napoleon's, or on that of +one of his lackeys; a bullet said to have been picked up at Waterloo +or Bunker's Hill; these, and suchlike things are great treasures. +And their most desirable characteristic is the ease with which they +are attained. Any bullet or any button does the work. Faith alone +is necessary. And now these ladies had made themselves happy and +glorious with "Relics" of General Chasse cut from the ill-used +habiliments of an elderly English gentleman! + +They departed at last, and Mr. Horne, for once in an ill humour, +followed me into the bedroom. Here I must be excused if I draw a +veil over his manly sorrow at discovering what fate had done for +him. Remember what was his position, unclothed in the Castle of +Antwerp! The nearest suitable change for those which had been +destroyed was locked up in his portmanteau at the Hotel de Belle Rue +in Brussels! He had nothing left to him--literally nothing, in that +Antwerp world. There was no other wretched being wandering then in +that Dutch town so utterly denuded of the goods of life. For what +is a man fit,--for what can he be fit,--when left in such a +position? There are some evils which seem utterly to crush a man; +and if there be any misfortune to which a man may be allowed to +succumb without imputation on his manliness, surely it is such as +this. How was Mr. Horne to return to his hotel without incurring +the displeasure of the municipality? That was my first thought. + +He had a cloak, but it was at the inn; and I found that my friend +was oppressed with a great horror at the idea of being left alone; +so that I could not go in search of it. There is an old saying, +that no man is a hero to his valet de chambre, the reason doubtless +being this, that it is customary for his valet to see the hero +divested of those trappings in which so much of the heroic consists. +Who reverences a clergyman without his gown, or a warrior without +his sword and sabre-tasche? What would even Minerva be without her +helmet? + +I do not wish it to be understood that I no longer reverenced Mr. +Horne because he was in an undress; but he himself certainly lost +much of his composed, well-sustained dignity of demeanour. He was +fearful and querulous, cold, and rather cross. When, forgetting his +size, I offered him my own, he thought that I was laughing at him. +He began to be afraid that the story would get abroad, and he then +and there exacted a promise that I would never tell it during his +lifetime. I have kept my word; but now my old friend has been +gathered to his fathers, full of years. + +At last I got him to the hotel. It was long before he would leave +the castle, cloaked though he was;--not, indeed, till the shades of +evening had dimmed the outlines of men and things, and made +indistinct the outward garniture of those who passed to and fro in +the streets. Then, wrapped in his cloak, Mr. Horne followed me +along the quays and through the narrowest of the streets; and at +length, without venturing to return the gaze of any one in the hotel +court, he made his way up to his own bedroom. + +Dinnerless and supperless he went to his couch. But when there he +did consent to receive some consolation in the shape of mutton +cutlets and fried potatoes, a savory omelet, and a bottle of claret. +The mutton cutlets and fried potatoes at the Golden Fleece at +Antwerp are--or were then, for I am speaking now of well-nigh thirty +years since--remarkably good; the claret, also, was of the best; and +so, by degrees, the look of despairing dismay passed from his face, +and some scintillations of the old fire returned to his eyes. + +"I wonder whether they find themselves much happier for what they +have got?" said he. + +"A great deal happier," said I. "They'll boast of those things to +all their friends at home, and we shall doubtless see some account +of their success in the newspapers." + +"It would be delightful to expose their blunder,--to show them up. +Would it not, George? To turn the tables on them?" + +"Yes," said I, "I should like to have the laugh against them." + +"So would I, only that I should compromise myself by telling the +story. It wouldn't do at all to have it told at Oxford with my name +attached to it." + +To this also I assented. To what would I not have assented in my +anxiety to make him happy after his misery? + +But all was not over yet. He was in bed now, but it was necessary +that he should rise again on the morrow. At home, in England, what +was required might perhaps have been made during the night; but +here, among the slow Flemings, any such exertion would have been +impossible. Mr. Horne, moreover, had no desire to be troubled in +his retirement by a tailor. + +Now the landlord of the Golden Fleece was a very stout man,--a very +stout man indeed. Looking at him as he stood with his hands in his +pockets at the portal of his own establishment, I could not but +think that he was stouter even than Mr. Horne. But then he was +certainly much shorter, and the want of due proportion probably +added to his unwieldy appearance. I walked round him once or twice +wishfully, measuring him in my eye, and thinking of what texture +might be the Sunday best of such a man. The clothes which he then +had on were certainly not exactly suited to Mr. Horne's tastes. + +He saw that I was observing him, and appeared uneasy and offended. +I had already ascertained that he spoke a little English. Of +Flemish I knew literally nothing, and in French, with which probably +he was also acquainted, I was by no means voluble. The business +which I had to transact was intricate, and I required the use of my +mother-tongue. + +It was intricate and delicate, and difficult withal. I began by +remarking on the weather, but he did not take my remarks kindly. I +am inclined to fancy that he thought I was desirous of borrowing +money from him. At any rate he gave me no encouragement in my first +advances. + +"Vat misfortune?" at last he asked, when I had succeeded in making +him understand that a gentleman up stairs required his assistance. + +"He has lost these things," and I took hold of my own garments. +"It's a long story, or I'd tell you how; but he has not a pair in +the world till he gets back to Brussels,--unless you can lend him +one." + +"Lost hees br-?" and he opened his eyes wide, and looked at me with +astonishment. + +"Yes, yes, exactly so," said I, interrupting him. "Most astonishing +thing, isn't it? But it's quite true." + +"Vas hees money in de pocket?" asked my auspicious landlord. + +"No, no, no. It's not so bad as that, his money is all right. I +had the money, luckily." + +"Ah! dat is better. But he have lost hees b-?" + +"Yes, yes;" I was now getting rather impatient. "There is no +mistake about it. He has lost them as sure as you stand there." +And then I proceeded to explain that as the gentleman in question +was very stout, and as he, the landlord, was stoat also, he might +assist us in this great calamity by a loan from his own wardrobe. + +When he found that the money was not in the pocket, and that his +bill therefore would be paid, he was not indisposed to be gracious. +He would, he said, desire his servant to take up what was required +to Mr. Horne's chamber. I endeavoured to make him understand that a +sombre colour would be preferable; but he only answered that he +would put the best that he had at the gentleman's disposal. He +could not think of offering anything less than his best on such an +occasion. And then he turned his back and went his way, muttering +as he went something in Flemish, which I believed to be an +exclamation of astonishment that any man should, under any +circumstances, lose such an article. + +It was now getting late; so when I had taken a short stroll by +myself, I went to bed without disturbing Mr. Horne again that night. +On the following morning I thought it best not to go to him unless +he sent for me; so I desired the boots to let him know that I had +ordered breakfast in a private room, and that I would await him +there unless he wished to see me. He sent me word back to say that +he would be with me very shortly. + +He did not keep me waiting above half an hour, but I confess that +that half hour was not pleasantly spent. I feared that his temper +would be tried in dressing, and that he would not be able to eat his +breakfast in a happy state of mind. So that when I heard his heavy +footstep advancing along the passage my heart did misgive me, and I +felt that I was trembling. + +That step was certainly slower and more ponderous than usual. There +was always a certain dignity in the very sound of his movements, but +now this seemed to have been enhanced. To judge merely by the step +one would have said that a bishop was coming that way instead of a +prebendary. + +And then he entered. In the upper half of his august person no +alteration was perceptible. The hair was as regular and as graceful +as ever, the handkerchief as white, the coat as immaculate; but +below his well-filled waistcoat a pair of red plush began to shine +in unmitigated splendour, and continued from thence down to within +an inch above his knee; nor, as it appeared, could any pulling +induce them to descend lower. Mr. Horne always wore black silk +stockings,--at least so the world supposed, but it was now apparent +that the world had been wrong in presuming him to be guilty of such +extravagance. Those, at any rate, which he exhibited on the present +occasion were more economical. They were silk to the calf, but +thence upwards they continued their career in white cotton. These +then followed the plush; first two snowy, full-sized pillars of +white, and then two jet columns of flossy silk. Such was the +appearance, on that well-remembered morning, of the Rev. Augustus +Horne, as he entered the room in which his breakfast was prepared. + +I could see at a glance that a dark frown contracted his eyebrows, +and that the compressed muscles of his upper lip gave a strange +degree of austerity to his open face. He carried his head proudly +on high, determined to be dignified in spite of his misfortunes, and +advanced two steps into the room without a remark, as though he were +able to show that neither red plush nor black cloth could disarrange +the equal poise of his mighty mind! + +And after all what are a man's garments but the outward husks in +which the fruit is kept, duly tempered from the wind? + + +"The rank is but the guinea stamp, +The man's the gowd for a' that." + + +And is not the tailor's art as little worthy, as insignificant as +that of the king who makes + + +"A marquis, duke, and a' that"? + + +Who would be content to think that his manly dignity depended on his +coat and waistcoat, or his hold on the world's esteem on any other +garment of usual wear? That no such weakness soiled his mind Mr. +Horne was determined to prove; and thus he entered the room with +measured tread, and stern dignified demeanour. + +Having advanced two steps his eye caught mine. I do not know +whether he was moved by some unconscious smile on my part;--for in +truth I endeavoured to seem as indifferent as himself to the nature +of his dress;--or whether he was invincibly tickled by some inward +fancy of his own, but suddenly his advancing step ceased, a broad +flash of comic humour spread itself over his features, he retreated +with his back against the wall, and then burst out into an +immoderate roar of loud laughter. + +And I--what else could I then do but laugh? He laughed, and I +laughed. He roared, and I roared. He lifted up his vast legs to +view till the rays of the morning sun shone through the window on +the bright hues which he displayed; and he did not sit down to his +breakfast till he had in every fantastic attitude shown off to the +best advantage the red plush of which he had so recently become +proud. + +An Antwerp private cabriolet on that day reached the yard of the +Hotel de Belle Vue at about 4 p.m., and four waiters, in a frenzy of +astonishment, saw the Reverend Augustus Horne descend from the +vehicle and seek his chamber dressed in the garments which I have +described. But I am inclined to think that he never again favoured +any of his friends with such a sight. + +It was on the next evening after this that I went out to drink tea +with two maiden ladies, relatives of mine, who kept a seminary for +English girls at Brussels. The Misses Macmanus were very worthy +women, and earned their bread in an upright, painstaking manner. I +would not for worlds have passed through Brussels without paying +them this compliment. They were, however, perhaps a little dull, +and I was aware that I should not probably meet in their drawing- +room many of the fashionable inhabitants of the city. Mr. Horne had +declined to accompany me; but in doing so he was good enough to +express a warm admiration for the character of my worthy cousins. + +The elder Miss Macmanus, in her little note, had informed me that +she would have the pleasure of introducing me to a few of my +"compatriots." I presumed she meant Englishmen; and as I was in the +habit of meeting such every day of my life at home, I cannot say +that I was peculiarly elevated by the promise. When, however, I +entered the room, there was no Englishman there;--there was no man +of any kind. There were twelve ladies collected together with the +view of making the evening pass agreeably to me, the single virile +being among them all. I felt as though I were a sort of Mohammed in +Paradise; but I certainly felt also that the Paradise was none of my +own choosing. + +In the centre of the amphitheatre which the ladies formed sat the +two Misses Macmanus;--there, at least, they sat when they had +completed the process of shaking hands with me. To the left of +them, making one wing of the semicircle, were arranged the five +pupils by attending to whom the Misses Macmanus earned their living; +and the other wing consisted of the five ladies who had furnished +themselves with relics of General Chasse. They were my +"compatriots." + +I was introduced to them all, one after the other; but their names +did not abide in my memory one moment. I was thinking too much of +the singularity of the adventure, and could not attend to such +minutiae. That the red-rosed harpy was Miss Grogram, that I +remembered;--that, I may say, I shall never forget. But whether the +motherly lady with the somewhat blowsy hair was Mrs. Jones, or Mrs. +Green, or Mrs. Walker, I cannot now say. The dumpy female with the +broad back was always called Aunt Sally by the young ladies. + +Too much sugar spoils one's tea; I think I have heard that even +prosperity will cloy when it comes in overdoses; and a schoolboy has +been known to be overdone with jam. I myself have always been +peculiarly attached to ladies' society, and have avoided bachelor +parties as things execrable in their very nature. But on this +special occasion I felt myself to be that schoolboy;--I was +literally overdone with jam. My tea was all sugar, so that I could +not drink it. I was one among twelve. What could I do or say? The +proportion of alloy was too small to have any effect in changing the +nature of the virgin silver, and the conversation became absolutely +feminine. + +I must confess also that my previous experience as to these +compatriots of mine had not prejudiced me in their favour. I +regarded them with,--I am ashamed to say so, seeing that they were +ladies,--but almost with loathing. When last I had seen them their +occupation had reminded me of some obscene feast of harpies, or +almost of ghouls. They had brought down to the verge of desperation +the man whom of all men I most venerated. On these accounts I was +inclined to be taciturn with reference to them;--and then what could +I have to say to the Misses Macmanus's five pupils? + +My cousin at first made an effort or two in my favour, but these +efforts were fruitless. I soon died away into utter unrecognised +insignificance, and the conversation, as I have before said, became +feminine. And indeed that horrid Miss Grogram, who was, as it were, +the princess of the ghouls, nearly monopolised the whole of it. +Mamma Jones--we will call her Jones for the occasion--put in a word +now and then, as did also the elder and more energetic Miss +Macmanus. The dumpy lady with the broad back ate tea-cake +incessantly; the two daughters looked scornful, as though they were +above their company with reference to the five pupils; and the five +pupils themselves sat in a row with the utmost propriety, each with +her hands crossed on her lap before her. + +Of what they were talking at last I became utterly oblivious. They +had ignored me, going into realms of muslin, questions of maid- +servants, female rights, and cheap under-clothing; and I therefore +had ignored them. My mind had gone back to Mr. Horne and his +garments. While they spoke of their rights, I was thinking of his +wrongs; when they mentioned the price of flannel, I thought of that +of broadcloth. + +But of a sudden my attention was arrested. Miss Macmanus had said +something of the black silks of Antwerp, when Miss Grogram replied +that she had just returned from that city and had there enjoyed a +great success. My cousin had again asked something about the black +silks, thinking, no doubt, that Miss Grogram had achieved some +bargain, but that lady had soon undeceived her. + +"Oh no," said Miss Grogram, "it was at the castle. We got such +beautiful relics of General Chasse! Didn't we, Mrs. Jones?" + +"Indeed we did," said Mrs. Jones, bringing out from beneath the +skirts of her dress and ostensibly displaying a large black bag. + +"And I've got such a beautiful needle-case," said the broad-back, +displaying her prize. "I've been making it up all the morning." +And she handed over the article to Miss Macmanus. + +"And only look at this duck of a pen-wiper," simpered flaxen-hair +No. 2. "Only think of wiping one's pens with relics of General +Chasse!" and she handed it over to the other Miss Macmanus. + +"And mine's a pin-cushion," said No. 1, exhibiting the trophy. + +"But that's nothing to what I've got," said Miss Grogram. "In the +first place, there's a pair of slippers,--a beautiful pair;--they're +not made up yet, of course; and then--" + +The two Misses Macmanus and their five pupils were sitting open- +eared, open-eyed, and open-mouthed. How all these sombre-looking +articles could be relics of General Chasse did not at first appear +clear to them. + +"What are they, Miss Grogram?" said the elder Miss Macmanus, holding +the needle-case in one hand and Mrs. Jones's bag in the other. Miss +Macmanus was a strong-minded female, and I reverenced my cousin when +I saw the decided way in which she intended to put down the greedy +arrogance of Miss Grogram. + +"They are relics." + +"But where do they come from, Miss Grogram?" + +"Why, from the castle, to be sure;--from General Chasse's own +rooms." + +"Did anybody sell them to you?" + +"No." + +"Or give them to you?" + +"Why, no;--at least not exactly give." + +"There they were, and she took 'em," said the broad-back. Oh, what +a look Miss Grogram gave her! "Took them! of course I took them. +That is, you took them as much as I did. They were things that we +found lying about." + +"What things?" asked Miss Macmanus, in a peculiarly strong-minded +tone. + +Miss Grogram seemed to be for a moment silenced. I had been +ignored, as I have said, and my existence forgotten; but now I +observed that the eyes of the culprits were turned towards me,--the +eyes, that is, of four of them. Mrs. Jones looked at me from +beneath her fan; the two girls glanced at me furtively, and then +their eyes fell to the lowest flounces of their frocks. + +Miss Grogram turned her spectacles right upon me, and I fancied that +she nodded her head at me as a sort of answer to Miss Macmanus. The +five pupils opened their mouths and eyes wider; but she of the broad +back was nothing abashed. It would have been nothing to her had +there been a dozen gentlemen in the room. "We just found a pair of +black--." The whole truth was told in the plainest possible +language. + +"Oh, Aunt Sally!" "Aunt Sally, how can you?" "Hold your tongue, +Aunt Sally!" + +"And then Miss Grogram just cut them up with her scissors," +continued Aunt Sally, not a whit abashed, "and gave us each a bit, +only she took more than half for herself." It was clear to me that +there had been some quarrel, some delicious quarrel, between Aunt +Sally and Miss Grogram. Through the whole adventure I had rather +respected Aunt Sally. "She took more than half for herself," +continued Aunt Sally. "She kept all the--" + +"Jemima," said the elder Miss Macmanus, interrupting the speaker and +addressing her sister, "it is time, I think, for the young ladies to +retire. Will you be kind enough to see them to their rooms?" The +five pupils thereupon rose from their seats--and courtesied. They +then left the room in file, the younger Miss Macmanus showing them +the way. + +"But we haven't done any harm, have we?" asked Mrs. Jones, with some +tremulousness in her voice. + +"Well, I don't know," said Miss Macmanus. "What I'm thinking of now +is this;--to whom, I wonder, did the garments properly belong? Who +had been the owner and wearer of them?" + +"Why, General Chasse of course," said Miss Grogram. + +"They were the general's," repeated the two young ladies; blushing, +however, as they alluded to the subject. + +"Well, we thought they were the general's, certainly; and a very +excellent article they were," said Mrs. Jones. + +"Perhaps they were the butler's?" said Aunt Sally. I certainly had +not given her credit for so much sarcasm. + +"Butler's!" exclaimed Miss Grogram, with a toss of her head. + +"Oh, Aunt Sally, Aunt Sally! how can you?" shrieked the two young +ladies. + +"Oh laws!" ejaculated Mrs. Jones. + +"I don't think that they could have belonged to the butler," said +Miss Macmanus, with much authority, "seeing that domestics in this +country are never clad in garments of that description; so far my +own observation enables me to speak with certainty. But it is +equally sure that they were never the property of the general lately +in command at Antwerp. Generals, when they are in full dress, wear +ornamental lace upon their--their regimentals; and when--" So much +she said, and something more, which it may be unnecessary that I +should repeat; but such were her eloquence and logic that no doubt +would have been left on the mind of any impartial hearer. If an +argumentative speaker ever proved anything, Miss Macmanus proved +that General Chasse had never been the wearer of the article in +question. + +"But I know very well they were his!" said Miss Grogram, who was not +an impartial hearer. "Of course they were; whose else's should they +be?" + +"I'm sure I hope they were his," said one of the young ladies, +almost crying. + +"I wish I'd never taken it," said the other. + +"Dear, dear, dear!" said Mrs. Jones. + +"I'll give you my needle-case, Miss Grogram," said Aunt Sally. + +I had sat hitherto silent during the whole scene, meditating how +best I might confound the red-nosed harpy. Now, I thought, was the +time for me to strike in. + +"I really think, ladies, that there has been some mistake," said I. + +"There has been no mistake at all, sir!" said Miss Grogram. + +"Perhaps not," I answered, very mildly; "very likely not. But some +affair of a similar nature was very much talked about in Antwerp +yesterday." + +"Oh laws!" again ejaculated Mrs. Jones. + +"The affair I allude to has been talked about a good deal, +certainly," I continued. "But perhaps it may be altogether a +different circumstance." + +"And what may be the circumstance to which you allude?" asked Miss +Macmanus, in the same authoritative tone. + +"I dare say it has nothing to do with these ladies," said I; "but an +article of dress, of the nature they have described, was cut up in +the Castle of Antwerp on the day before yesterday. It belonged to a +gentleman who was visiting the place; and I was given to understand +that he is determined to punish the people who have wronged him." + +"It can't be the same," said Miss Grogram; but I could see that she +was trembling. + +"Oh laws! what will become of us?" said Mrs. Jones. + +"You can all prove that I didn't touch them, and that I warned her +not," said Aunt Sally. In the mean time the two young ladies had +almost fainted behind their fans. + +"But how had it come to pass," asked Miss Macmanus, "that the +gentleman had--" + +"I know nothing more about it, cousin," said I; "only it does seem +that there is an odd coincidence." + +Immediately after this I took my leave. I saw that I had avenged my +friend, and spread dismay in the hearts of these who had injured +him. I had learned in the course of the evening at what hotel the +five ladies were staying; and in the course of the next morning I +sauntered into the hall, and finding one of the porters alone, asked +if they were still there. The man told me that they had started by +the earliest diligence. "And," said he, "if you are a friend of +theirs, perhaps you will take charge of these things, which they +have left behind them?" So saying, he pointed to a table at the +back of the hall, on which were lying the black bag, the black +needle-case, the black pin cushion, and the black pen-wiper. There +was also a heap of fragments of cloth which I well knew had been +intended by Miss Grogram for the comfort of her feet and ancles. + +I declined the commission, however. "They were no special friends +of mine," I said; and I left all the relics still lying on the +little table in the back hall. + +"Upon the whole, I am satisfied!" said the Rev. Augustus Horne, when +I told him the finale of the story. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg Etext Relics of General Chasse, by Anthony Trollope + diff --git a/old/rlcgc10.zip b/old/rlcgc10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e4aa3ef --- /dev/null +++ b/old/rlcgc10.zip |