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diff --git a/3711-0.txt b/3711-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..44bd126 --- /dev/null +++ b/3711-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1238 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Relics of General Chasse, by Anthony Trollope + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most +other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions +whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of +the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at +www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have +to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. + + + + +Title: Relics of General Chasse + a Tale of Antwerp + + +Author: Anthony Trollope + + + +Release Date: January 16, 2015 [eBook #3711] +[This file was first posted on July 31, 2001] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RELICS OF GENERAL CHASSE*** + + +Transcribed from the 1864 Chapman and Hall “Tales of All Countries” +edition by David Price, email ccx074@pglaf.org + + + + + + THE RELICS OF GENERAL CHASSÉ + A TALE OF ANTWERP. + + +THAT Belgium is now one of the European kingdoms, living by its own laws, +resting on its own bottom, with a king and court, palaces and parliament +of its own, is known to all the world. And a very nice little kingdom it +is; full of old towns, fine Flemish pictures, and interesting Gothic +churches. But in the memory of very many of us who do not think +ourselves old men, Belgium, as it is now called—in those days it used to +be Flanders and Brabant—was a part of Holland; and it obtained its own +independence by a revolution. In that revolution the most important +military step was the siege of Antwerp, which was defended on the part of +the Dutch by General Chassé, with the utmost gallantry, but nevertheless +ineffectually. + +After the siege Antwerp became quite a show place; and among the visitors +who flocked there to talk of the gallant general, and to see what +remained of the great effort which he had made to defend the place, were +two Englishmen. One was the hero of this little history; and the other +was a young man of considerably less weight in the world. The less I say +of the latter the better; but it is necessary that I should give some +description of the former. + +The Rev. Augustus Horne was, at the time of my narrative, a beneficed +clergyman of the Church of England. The profession which he had graced +sat easily on him. Its external marks and signs were as pleasing to his +friends as were its internal comforts to himself. He was a man of much +quiet mirth, full of polished wit, and on some rare occasions he could +descend to the more noisy hilarity of a joke. Loved by his friends he +loved all the world. He had known no care and seen no sorrow. Always +intended for holy orders he had entered them without a scruple, and +remained within their pale without a regret. At twenty-four he had been +a deacon, at twenty-seven a priest, at thirty a rector, and at +thirty-five a prebendary; and as his rectory was rich and his prebendal +stall well paid, the Rev. Augustus Horne was called by all, and called +himself, a happy man. His stature was about six feet two, and his +corpulence exceeded even those bounds which symmetry would have preferred +as being most perfectly compatible even with such a height. But +nevertheless Mr. Horne was a well-made man; his hands and feet were +small; his face was handsome, frank, and full of expression; his bright +eyes twinkled with humour; his finely-cut mouth disclosed two marvellous +rows of well-preserved ivory; and his slightly aquiline nose was just +such a projection as one would wish to see on the face of a well-fed +good-natured dignitary of the Church of England. When I add to all this +that the reverend gentleman was as generous as he was rich—and the kind +mother in whose arms he had been nurtured had taken care that he should +never want—I need hardly say that I was blessed with a very pleasant +travelling companion. + +I must mention one more interesting particular. Mr. Horne was rather +inclined to dandyism, in an innocent way. His clerical starched +neckcloth was always of the whitest, his cambric handkerchief of the +finest, his bands adorned with the broadest border; his sable suit never +degenerated to a rusty brown; it not only gave on all occasions glossy +evidence of freshness, but also of the talent which the artisan had +displayed in turning out a well-dressed clergyman of the Church of +England. His hair was ever brushed with scrupulous attention, and showed +in its regular waves the guardian care of each separate bristle. And all +this was done with that ease and grace which should be the +characteristics of a dignitary of the established English Church. + +I had accompanied Mr. Horne to the Rhine; and we had reached Brussels on +our return, just at the close of that revolution which ended in affording +a throne to the son-in-law of George the Fourth. At that moment General +Chassé’s name and fame were in every man’s mouth, and, like other curious +admirers of the brave, Mr. Horne determined to devote two days to the +scene of the late events at Antwerp. Antwerp, moreover, possesses +perhaps the finest spire, and certainly one of the three or four finest +pictures, in the world. Of General Chassé, of the cathedral, and of the +Rubens, I had heard much, and was therefore well pleased that such should +be his resolution. This accomplished we were to return to Brussels; and +thence, via Ghent, Ostend, and Dover, I to complete my legal studies in +London, and Mr. Horne to enjoy once more the peaceful retirement of +Ollerton rectory. As we were to be absent from Brussels but one night we +were enabled to indulge in the gratification of travelling without our +luggage. A small sac-de-nuit was prepared; brushes, combs, razors, +strops, a change of linen, &c. &c., were carefully put up; but our heavy +baggage, our coats, waistcoats, and other wearing apparel were +unnecessary. It was delightful to feel oneself so light-handed. The +reverend gentleman, with my humble self by his side, left the portal of +the Hôtel de Belle Vue at 7 a.m., in good humour with all the world. +There were no railroads in those days; but a cabriolet, big enough to +hold six persons, with rope traces and corresponding appendages, +deposited us at the Golden Fleece in something less than six hours. The +inward man was duly fortified, and we started for the castle. + +It boots not here to describe the effects which gunpowder and grape-shot +had had on the walls of Antwerp. Let the curious in these matters read +the horrors of the siege of Troy, or the history of Jerusalem taken by +Titus. The one may be found in Homer, and the other in Josephus. Or if +they prefer doings of a later date there is the taking of Sebastopol, as +narrated in the columns of the “Times” newspaper. The accounts are +equally true, instructive, and intelligible. In the mean time allow the +Rev. Augustus Horne and myself to enter the private chambers of the +renowned though defeated general. + +We rambled for a while through the covered way, over the glacis and along +the counterscarp, and listened to the guide as he detailed to us, in +already accustomed words, how the siege had gone. Then we got into the +private apartments of the general, and, having dexterously shaken off our +attendant, wandered at large among the deserted rooms. + +“It is clear that no one ever comes here,” said I. + +“No,” said the Rev. Augustus; “it seems not; and to tell the truth, I +don’t know why any one should come. The chambers in themselves are not +attractive.” + +What he said was true. They were plain, ugly, square, unfurnished rooms, +here a big one, and there a little one, as is usual in most +houses;—unfurnished, that is, for the most part. In one place we did +find a table and a few chairs, in another a bedstead, and so on. But to +me it was pleasant to indulge in those ruminations which any traces of +the great or unfortunate create in softly sympathising minds. For a time +we communicated our thoughts to each other as we roamed free as air +through the apartments; and then I lingered for a few moments behind, +while Mr. Horne moved on with a quicker step. + +At last I entered the bedchamber of the general, and there I overtook my +friend. He was inspecting, with much attention, an article of the great +man’s wardrobe which he held in his hand. It was precisely that virile +habiliment to which a well-known gallant captain alludes in his +conversation with the posthumous appearance of Miss Bailey, as containing +a Bank of England £5 note. + +“The general must have been a large man, George, or he would hardly have +filled these,” said Mr. Horne, holding up to the light the respectable +leathern articles in question. “He must have been a very large man,—the +largest man in Antwerp, I should think; or else his tailor has done him +more than justice.” + +They were certainly large, and had about them a charming regimental +military appearance. They were made of white leather, with bright metal +buttons at the knees and bright metal buttons at the top. They owned no +pockets, and were, with the exception of the legitimate outlet, +continuous in the circumference of the waistband. No dangling strings +gave them an appearance of senile imbecility. Were it not for a certain +rigidity, sternness, and mental inflexibility,—we will call it military +ardour,—with which they were imbued, they would have created envy in the +bosom of a fox-hunter. + +Mr. Horne was no fox-hunter, but still he seemed to be irresistibly taken +with the lady-like propensity of wishing to wear them. “Surely, George,” +he said, “the general must have been a stouter man than I am”—and he +contemplated his own proportions with complacency—“these what’s-the-names +are quite big enough for me.” + +I differed in opinion, and was obliged to explain that I thought he did +the good living of Ollerton insufficient justice. + +“I am sure they are large enough for me,” he repeated, with considerable +obstinacy. I smiled incredulously; and then to settle the matter he +resolved that he would try them on. Nobody had been in these rooms for +the last hour, and it appeared as though they were never visited. Even +the guide had not come on with us, but was employed in showing other +parties about the fortifications. It was clear that this portion of the +building was left desolate, and that the experiment might be safely made. +So the sportive rector declared that he would for a short time wear the +regimentals which had once contained the valorous heart of General +Chassé. + +With all decorum the Rev. Mr. Horne divested himself of the work of the +London artist’s needle, and, carefully placing his own garments beyond +the reach of dust, essayed to fit himself in military garb. + +At that important moment—at the critical instant of the attempt—the +clatter of female voices was heard approaching the chamber. They must +have suddenly come round some passage corner, for it was evident by the +sound that they were close upon us before we had any warning of their +advent. At this very minute Mr. Horne was somewhat embarrassed in his +attempts, and was not fully in possession of his usual active powers of +movement, nor of his usual presence of mind. He only looked for escape; +and seeing a door partly open, he with difficulty retreated through it, +and I followed him. We found that we were in a small dressing-room; and +as by good luck the door was defended by an inner bolt, my friend was +able to protect himself. + +“There shall be another siege, at any rate as stout as the last, before I +surrender,” said he. + +As the ladies seemed inclined to linger in the room it became a matter of +importance that the above-named articles should fit, not only for +ornament but for use. It was very cold, and Mr. Horne was altogether +unused to move in a Highland sphere of life. But alas, alas! General +Chassé had not been nurtured in the classical retirement of Ollerton. +The ungiving leather would stretch no point to accommodate the divine, +though it had been willing to minister to the convenience of the soldier. +Mr. Horne was vexed and chilled; and throwing the now hateful garments +into a corner, and protecting himself from the cold as best he might by +standing with his knees together and his body somewhat bent so as to give +the skirts of his coat an opportunity of doing extra duty, he begged me +to see if those jabbering females were not going to leave him in peace to +recover his own property. I accordingly went to the door, and opening it +to a small extent I peeped through. + +Who shall describe my horror at the sight which I then saw? The scene, +which had hitherto been tinted with comic effect, was now becoming so +decidedly tragic that I did not dare at once to acquaint my worthy pastor +with that which was occurring,—and, alas! had already occurred. + +Five country-women of our own—it was easy to know them by their dress and +general aspect—were standing in the middle of the room; and one of them, +the centre of the group, the senior harpy of the lot, a maiden lady—I +could have sworn to that—with a red nose, held in one hand a huge pair of +scissors, and in the other—the already devoted goods of my most +unfortunate companion! Down from the waistband, through that goodly +expanse, a fell gash had already gone through and through; and in +useless, unbecoming disorder the broadcloth fell pendant from her arm on +this side and on that. At that moment I confess that I had not the +courage to speak to Mr. Horne,—not even to look at him. + +I must describe that group. Of the figure next to me I could only see +the back. It was a broad back done up in black silk not of the newest. +The whole figure, one may say, was dumpy. The black silk was not long, +as dresses now are worn, nor wide in its skirts. In every way it was +skimpy, considering the breadth it had to cover; and below the silk I saw +the heels of two thick shoes, and enough to swear by of two woollen +stockings. Above the silk was a red and blue shawl; and above that a +ponderous, elaborate brown bonnet, as to the materials of which I should +not wish to undergo an examination. Over and beyond this I could only +see the backs of her two hands. They were held up as though in wonder at +that which the red-nosed holder of the scissors had dared to do. + +Opposite to this lady, and with her face fully tamed to me, was a +kindly-looking, fat motherly woman, with light-coloured hair, not in the +best order. She was hot and scarlet with exercise, being perhaps too +stout for the steep steps of the fortress; and in one hand she held a +handkerchief, with which from time to time she wiped her brow. In the +other hand she held one of the extremities of my friend’s property, +feeling—good, careful soul!—what was the texture of the cloth. As she +did so, I could see a glance of approbation pass across her warm +features. I liked that lady’s face, in spite of her untidy hair, and +felt that had she been alone my friend would not have been injured. + +On either side of her there stood a flaxen-haired maiden, with long +curls, large blue eyes, fresh red cheeks, an undefined lumpy nose, and +large good-humoured mouth. They were as like as two peas, only that one +was half an inch taller than the other; and there was no difficulty in +discovering, at a moment’s glance, that they were the children of that +over-heated matron who was feeling the web of my friend’s cloth. + +But the principal figure was she who held the centre place in the group. +She was tall and thin, with fierce-looking eyes, rendered more fierce by +the spectacles which she wore; with a red nose as I said before; and +about her an undescribable something which quite convinced me that she +had never known—could never know—aught of the comforts of married life. +It was she who held the scissors and the black garments. It was she who +had given that unkind cut. As I looked at her she whisked herself +quickly round from one companion to the other, triumphing in what she had +done, and ready to triumph further in what she was about to do. I +immediately conceived a deep hatred for that Queen of the Harpies. + +“Well, I suppose they can’t be wanted again,” said the mother, rubbing +her forehead. + +“Oh dear no!” said she of the red nose. “They are relics!” I thought to +leap forth; but for what purpose should I have leaped? The accursed +scissors had already done their work; and the symmetry, nay, even the +utility of the vestment was destroyed. + +“General Chassé wore a very good article;—I will say that for him,” +continued the mother. + +“Of course he did!” said the Queen Harpy. “Why should he not, seeing +that the country paid for it for him? Well, ladies, who’s for having a +bit?” + +“Oh my! you won’t go for to cut them up,” said the stout back. + +“Won’t I,” said the scissors; and she immediately made another incision. +“Who’s for having a bit? Don’t all speak at once.” + +“I should like a morsel for a pincushion,” said flaxen-haired Miss No. 1, +a young lady about nineteen, actuated by a general affection for all +sword-bearing, fire-eating heroes. “I should like to have something to +make me think of the poor general!” + +Snip, snip went the scissors with professional rapidity, and a round +piece was extracted from the back of the calf of the left leg. I +shuddered with horror; and so did the Rev. Augustus Horne with cold. + +“I hardly think it’s proper to cut them up,” said Miss No. 2. + +“Oh isn’t it?” said the harpy. “Then I’ll do what’s improper!” And she +got her finger and thumb well through the holes in the scissors’ handles. +As she spoke resolution was plainly marked on her brow. + +“Well, if they are to be cut up, I should certainly like a bit for a +pen-wiper,” said No. 2. No. 2 was a literary young lady with a +periodical correspondence, a journal, and an album. Snip, snip went the +scissors again, and the broad part of the upper right division afforded +ample materials for a pen-wiper. + +Then the lady with the back, seeing that the desecration of the article +had been completed, plucked up heart of courage and put in her little +request; “I think I might have a needle-case out of it,” said she, “just +as a suvneer of the poor general”—and a long fragment cut rapidly out of +the waistband afforded her unqualified delight. + +Mamma, with the hot face and untidy hair, came next. “Well, girls,” she +said, “as you are all served, I don’t see why I’m to be left out. +Perhaps, Miss Grogram”—she was an old maid, you see—“perhaps, Miss +Grogram, you could get me as much as would make a decent-sized reticule.” + +There was not the slightest difficulty in doing this. The harpy in the +centre again went to work, snip, snip, and extracting from that portion +of the affairs which usually sustained the greater portion of Mr. Horne’s +weight two large round pieces of cloth, presented them to the +well-pleased matron. “The general knew well where to get a bit of good +broadcloth, certainly,” said she, again feeling the pieces. + +“And now for No. 1,” said she whom I so absolutely hated; “I think there +is still enough for a pair of slippers. There’s nothing so nice for the +house as good black cloth slippers that are warm to the feet and don’t +show the dirt.” And so saying, she spread out on the floor the lacerated +remainders. + +“There’s a nice bit there,” said young lady No. 2, poking at one of the +pockets with the end of her parasol. + +“Yes,” said the harpy, contemplating her plunder. “But I’m thinking +whether I couldn’t get leggings as well. I always wear leggings in the +thick of the winter.” And so she concluded her operations, and there was +nothing left but a melancholy skeleton of seams and buttons. + +All this having been achieved, they pocketed their plunder and prepared +to depart. There are people who have a wonderful appetite for relics. A +stone with which Washington had broken a window when a boy—with which he +had done so or had not, for there is little difference; a button that was +on a coat of Napoleon’s, or on that of one of his lackeys; a bullet said +to have been picked up at Waterloo or Bunker’s Hill; these, and suchlike +things are great treasures. And their most desirable characteristic is +the ease with which they are attained. Any bullet or any button does the +work. Faith alone is necessary. And now these ladies had made +themselves happy and glorious with “Relics” of General Chassé cut from +the ill-used habiliments of an elderly English gentleman! + +They departed at last, and Mr. Horne, for once in an ill humour, followed +me into the bedroom. Here I must be excused if I draw a veil over his +manly sorrow at discovering what fate had done for him. Remember what +was his position, unclothed in the Castle of Antwerp! The nearest +suitable change for those which had been destroyed was locked up in his +portmanteau at the Hôtel de Belle Rue in Brussels! He had nothing left +to him—literally nothing, in that Antwerp world. There was no other +wretched being wandering then in that Dutch town so utterly denuded of +the goods of life. For what is a man fit,—for what can he be fit,—when +left in such a position? There are some evils which seem utterly to +crush a man; and if there be any misfortune to which a man may be allowed +to succumb without imputation on his manliness, surely it is such as +this. How was Mr. Horne to return to his hotel without incurring the +displeasure of the municipality? That was my first thought. + +He had a cloak, but it was at the inn; and I found that my friend was +oppressed with a great horror at the idea of being left alone; so that I +could not go in search of it. There is an old saying, that no man is a +hero to his valet de chambre, the reason doubtless being this, that it is +customary for his valet to see the hero divested of those trappings in +which so much of the heroic consists. Who reverences a clergyman without +his gown, or a warrior without his sword and sabre-tasche? What would +even Minerva be without her helmet? + +I do not wish it to be understood that I no longer reverenced Mr. Horne +because he was in an undress; but he himself certainly lost much of his +composed, well-sustained dignity of demeanour. He was fearful and +querulous, cold, and rather cross. When, forgetting his size, I offered +him my own, he thought that I was laughing at him. He began to be afraid +that the story would get abroad, and he then and there exacted a promise +that I would never tell it during his lifetime. I have kept my word; but +now my old friend has been gathered to his fathers, full of years. + +At last I got him to the hotel. It was long before he would leave the +castle, cloaked though he was;—not, indeed, till the shades of evening +had dimmed the outlines of men and things, and made indistinct the +outward garniture of those who passed to and fro in the streets. Then, +wrapped in his cloak, Mr. Horne followed me along the quays and through +the narrowest of the streets; and at length, without venturing to return +the gaze of any one in the hotel court, he made his way up to his own +bedroom. + +Dinnerless and supperless he went to his couch. But when there he did +consent to receive some consolation in the shape of mutton cutlets and +fried potatoes, a savory omelet, and a bottle of claret. The mutton +cutlets and fried potatoes at the Golden Fleece at Antwerp are—or were +then, for I am speaking now of well-nigh thirty years since—remarkably +good; the claret, also, was of the best; and so, by degrees, the look of +despairing dismay passed from his face, and some scintillations of the +old fire returned to his eyes. + +“I wonder whether they find themselves much happier for what they have +got?” said he. + +“A great deal happier,” said I. “They’ll boast of those things to all +their friends at home, and we shall doubtless see some account of their +success in the newspapers.” + +“It would be delightful to expose their blunder,—to show them up. Would +it not, George? To turn the tables on them?” + +“Yes,” said I, “I should like to have the laugh against them.” + +“So would I, only that I should compromise myself by telling the story. +It wouldn’t do at all to have it told at Oxford with my name attached to +it.” + +To this also I assented. To what would I not have assented in my anxiety +to make him happy after his misery? + +But all was not over yet. He was in bed now, but it was necessary that +he should rise again on the morrow. At home, in England, what was +required might perhaps have been made during the night; but here, among +the slow Flemings, any such exertion would have been impossible. Mr. +Horne, moreover, had no desire to be troubled in his retirement by a +tailor. + +Now the landlord of the Golden Fleece was a very stout man,—a very stout +man indeed. Looking at him as he stood with his hands in his pockets at +the portal of his own establishment, I could not but think that he was +stouter even than Mr. Horne. But then he was certainly much shorter, and +the want of due proportion probably added to his unwieldy appearance. I +walked round him once or twice wishfully, measuring him in my eye, and +thinking of what texture might be the Sunday best of such a man. The +clothes which he then had on were certainly not exactly suited to Mr. +Horne’s tastes. + +He saw that I was observing him, and appeared uneasy and offended. I had +already ascertained that he spoke a little English. Of Flemish I knew +literally nothing, and in French, with which probably he was also +acquainted, I was by no means voluble. The business which I had to +transact was intricate, and I required the use of my mother-tongue. + +It was intricate and delicate, and difficult withal. I began by +remarking on the weather, but he did not take my remarks kindly. I am +inclined to fancy that he thought I was desirous of borrowing money from +him. At any rate he gave me no encouragement in my first advances. + +“Vat misfortune?” at last he asked, when I had succeeded in making him +understand that a gentleman up stairs required his assistance. + +“He has lost these things,” and I took hold of my own garments. “It’s a +long story, or I’d tell you how; but he has not a pair in the world till +he gets back to Brussels,—unless you can lend him one.” + +“Lost hees br-?” and he opened his eyes wide, and looked at me with +astonishment. + +“Yes, yes, exactly so,” said I, interrupting him. “Most astonishing +thing, isn’t it? But it’s quite true.” + +“Vas hees money in de pocket?” asked my auspicious landlord. + +“No, no, no. It’s not so bad as that, his money is all right. I had the +money, luckily.” + +“Ah! dat is better. But he have lost hees b-?” + +“Yes, yes;” I was now getting rather impatient. “There is no mistake +about it. He has lost them as sure as you stand there.” And then I +proceeded to explain that as the gentleman in question was very stout, +and as he, the landlord, was stout also, he might assist us in this great +calamity by a loan from his own wardrobe. + +When he found that the money was not in the pocket, and that his bill +therefore would be paid, he was not indisposed to be gracious. He would, +he said, desire his servant to take up what was required to Mr. Horne’s +chamber. I endeavoured to make him understand that a sombre colour would +be preferable; but he only answered that he would put the best that he +had at the gentleman’s disposal. He could not think of offering anything +less than his best on such an occasion. And then he turned his back and +went his way, muttering as he went something in Flemish, which I believed +to be an exclamation of astonishment that any man should, under any +circumstances, lose such an article. + +It was now getting late; so when I had taken a short stroll by myself, I +went to bed without disturbing Mr. Horne again that night. On the +following morning I thought it best not to go to him unless he sent for +me; so I desired the boots to let him know that I had ordered breakfast +in a private room, and that I would await him there unless he wished to +see me. He sent me word back to say that he would be with me very +shortly. + +He did not keep me waiting above half an hour, but I confess that that +half hour was not pleasantly spent. I feared that his temper would be +tried in dressing, and that he would not be able to eat his breakfast in +a happy state of mind. So that when I heard his heavy footstep advancing +along the passage my heart did misgive me, and I felt that I was +trembling. + +That step was certainly slower and more ponderous than usual. There was +always a certain dignity in the very sound of his movements, but now this +seemed to have been enhanced. To judge merely by the step one would have +said that a bishop was coming that way instead of a prebendary. + +And then he entered. In the upper half of his august person no +alteration was perceptible. The hair was as regular and as graceful as +ever, the handkerchief as white, the coat as immaculate; but below his +well-filled waistcoat a pair of red plush began to shine in unmitigated +splendour, and continued from thence down to within an inch above his +knee; nor, as it appeared, could any pulling induce them to descend +lower. Mr. Horne always wore black silk stockings,—at least so the world +supposed, but it was now apparent that the world had been wrong in +presuming him to be guilty of such extravagance. Those, at any rate, +which he exhibited on the present occasion were more economical. They +were silk to the calf, but thence upwards they continued their career in +white cotton. These then followed the plush; first two snowy, full-sized +pillars of white, and then two jet columns of flossy silk. Such was the +appearance, on that well-remembered morning, of the Rev. Augustus Horne, +as he entered the room in which his breakfast was prepared. + +I could see at a glance that a dark frown contracted his eyebrows, and +that the compressed muscles of his upper lip gave a strange degree of +austerity to his open face. He carried his head proudly on high, +determined to be dignified in spite of his misfortunes, and advanced two +steps into the room without a remark, as though he were able to show that +neither red plush nor black cloth could disarrange the equal poise of his +mighty mind! + +And after all what are a man’s garments but the outward husks in which +the fruit is kept, duly tempered from the wind? + + “The rank is but the guinea stamp, + The man’s the gowd for a’ that.” + +And is not the tailor’s art as little worthy, as insignificant as that of +the king who makes + + “A marquis, duke, and a’ that”? + +Who would be content to think that his manly dignity depended on his coat +and waistcoat, or his hold on the world’s esteem on any other garment of +usual wear? That no such weakness soiled his mind Mr. Horne was +determined to prove; and thus he entered the room with measured tread, +and stern dignified demeanour. + +Having advanced two steps his eye caught mine. I do not know whether he +was moved by some unconscious smile on my part;—for in truth I +endeavoured to seem as indifferent as himself to the nature of his +dress;—or whether he was invincibly tickled by some inward fancy of his +own, but suddenly his advancing step ceased, a broad flash of comic +humour spread itself over his features, he retreated with his back +against the wall, and then burst out into an immoderate roar of loud +laughter. + +And I—what else could I then do but laugh? He laughed, and I laughed. +He roared, and I roared. He lifted up his vast legs to view till the +rays of the morning sun shone through the window on the bright hues which +he displayed; and he did not sit down to his breakfast till he had in +every fantastic attitude shown off to the best advantage the red plush of +which he had so recently become proud. + +An Antwerp private cabriolet on that day reached the yard of the Hôtel de +Belle Vue at about 4 p.m., and four waiters, in a frenzy of astonishment, +saw the Reverend Augustus Horne descend from the vehicle and seek his +chamber dressed in the garments which I have described. But I am +inclined to think that he never again favoured any of his friends with +such a sight. + +It was on the next evening after this that I went out to drink tea with +two maiden ladies, relatives of mine, who kept a seminary for English +girls at Brussels. The Misses Macmanus were very worthy women, and +earned their bread in an upright, painstaking manner. I would not for +worlds have passed through Brussels without paying them this compliment. +They were, however, perhaps a little dull, and I was aware that I should +not probably meet in their drawing-room many of the fashionable +inhabitants of the city. Mr. Horne had declined to accompany me; but in +doing so he was good enough to express a warm admiration for the +character of my worthy cousins. + +The elder Miss Macmanus, in her little note, had informed me that she +would have the pleasure of introducing me to a few of my “compatriots.” +I presumed she meant Englishmen; and as I was in the habit of meeting +such every day of my life at home, I cannot say that I was peculiarly +elevated by the promise. When, however, I entered the room, there was no +Englishman there;—there was no man of any kind. There were twelve ladies +collected together with the view of making the evening pass agreeably to +me, the single virile being among them all. I felt as though I were a +sort of Mohammed in Paradise; but I certainly felt also that the Paradise +was none of my own choosing. + +In the centre of the amphitheatre which the ladies formed sat the two +Misses Macmanus;—there, at least, they sat when they had completed the +process of shaking hands with me. To the left of them, making one wing +of the semicircle, were arranged the five pupils by attending to whom the +Misses Macmanus earned their living; and the other wing consisted of the +five ladies who had furnished themselves with relics of General Chassé. +They were my “compatriots.” + +I was introduced to them all, one after the other; but their names did +not abide in my memory one moment. I was thinking too much of the +singularity of the adventure, and could not attend to such minutiæ. That +the red-rosed harpy was Miss Grogram, that I remembered;—that, I may say, +I shall never forget. But whether the motherly lady with the somewhat +blowsy hair was Mrs. Jones, or Mrs. Green, or Mrs. Walker, I cannot now +say. The dumpy female with the broad back was always called Aunt Sally +by the young ladies. + +Too much sugar spoils one’s tea; I think I have heard that even +prosperity will cloy when it comes in overdoses; and a schoolboy has been +known to be overdone with jam. I myself have always been peculiarly +attached to ladies’ society, and have avoided bachelor parties as things +execrable in their very nature. But on this special occasion I felt +myself to be that schoolboy;—I was literally overdone with jam. My tea +was all sugar, so that I could not drink it. I was one among twelve. +What could I do or say? The proportion of alloy was too small to have +any effect in changing the nature of the virgin silver, and the +conversation became absolutely feminine. + +I must confess also that my previous experience as to these compatriots +of mine had not prejudiced me in their favour. I regarded them with,—I +am ashamed to say so, seeing that they were ladies,—but almost with +loathing. When last I had seen them their occupation had reminded me of +some obscene feast of harpies, or almost of ghouls. They had brought +down to the verge of desperation the man whom of all men I most +venerated. On these accounts I was inclined to be taciturn with +reference to them;—and then what could I have to say to the Misses +Macmanus’s five pupils? + +My cousin at first made an effort or two in my favour, but these efforts +were fruitless. I soon died away into utter unrecognised insignificance, +and the conversation, as I have before said, became feminine. And indeed +that horrid Miss Grogram, who was, as it were, the princess of the +ghouls, nearly monopolised the whole of it. Mamma Jones—we will call her +Jones for the occasion—put in a word now and then, as did also the elder +and more energetic Miss Macmanus. The dumpy lady with the broad back ate +tea-cake incessantly; the two daughters looked scornful, as though they +were above their company with reference to the five pupils; and the five +pupils themselves sat in a row with the utmost propriety, each with her +hands crossed on her lap before her. + +Of what they were talking at last I became utterly oblivious. They had +ignored me, going into realms of muslin, questions of maid-servants, +female rights, and cheap under-clothing; and I therefore had ignored +them. My mind had gone back to Mr. Horne and his garments. While they +spoke of their rights, I was thinking of his wrongs; when they mentioned +the price of flannel, I thought of that of broadcloth. + +But of a sudden my attention was arrested. Miss Macmanus had said +something of the black silks of Antwerp, when Miss Grogram replied that +she had just returned from that city and had there enjoyed a great +success. My cousin had again asked something about the black silks, +thinking, no doubt, that Miss Grogram had achieved some bargain, but that +lady had soon undeceived her. + +“Oh no,” said Miss Grogram, “it was at the castle. We got such beautiful +relics of General Chassé! Didn’t we, Mrs. Jones?” + +“Indeed we did,” said Mrs. Jones, bringing out from beneath the skirts of +her dress and ostensibly displaying a large black bag. + +“And I’ve got such a beautiful needle-case,” said the broad-back, +displaying her prize. “I’ve been making it up all the morning.” And she +handed over the article to Miss Macmanus. + +“And only look at this duck of a pen-wiper,” simpered flaxen-hair No. 2. +“Only think of wiping one’s pens with relics of General Chassé!” and she +handed it over to the other Miss Macmanus. + +“And mine’s a pin-cushion,” said No. 1, exhibiting the trophy. + +“But that’s nothing to what I’ve got,” said Miss Grogram. “In the first +place, there’s a pair of slippers,—a beautiful pair;—they’re not made up +yet, of course; and then—” + +The two Misses Macmanus and their five pupils were sitting open-eared, +open-eyed, and open-mouthed. How all these sombre-looking articles could +be relics of General Chassé did not at first appear clear to them. + +“What are they, Miss Grogram?” said the elder Miss Macmanus, holding the +needle-case in one hand and Mrs. Jones’s bag in the other. Miss Macmanus +was a strong-minded female, and I reverenced my cousin when I saw the +decided way in which she intended to put down the greedy arrogance of +Miss Grogram. + +“They are relics.” + +“But where do they come from, Miss Grogram?” + +“Why, from the castle, to be sure;—from General Chassé’s own rooms.” + +“Did anybody sell them to you?” + +“No.” + +“Or give them to you?” + +“Why, no;—at least not exactly give.” + +“There they were, and she took ’em,” said the broad-back. Oh, what a +look Miss Grogram gave her! “Took them! of course I took them. That is, +you took them as much as I did. They were things that we found lying +about.” + +“What things?” asked Miss Macmanus, in a peculiarly strong-minded tone. + +Miss Grogram seemed to be for a moment silenced. I had been ignored, as +I have said, and my existence forgotten; but now I observed that the eyes +of the culprits were turned towards me,—the eyes, that is, of four of +them. Mrs. Jones looked at me from beneath her fan; the two girls +glanced at me furtively, and then their eyes fell to the lowest flounces +of their frocks. + +Miss Grogram turned her spectacles right upon me, and I fancied that she +nodded her head at me as a sort of answer to Miss Macmanus. The five +pupils opened their mouths and eyes wider; but she of the broad back was +nothing abashed. It would have been nothing to her had there been a +dozen gentlemen in the room. “We just found a pair of black—.” The +whole truth was told in the plainest possible language. + +“Oh, Aunt Sally!” “Aunt Sally, how can you?” “Hold your tongue, Aunt +Sally!” + +“And then Miss Grogram just cut them up with her scissors,” continued +Aunt Sally, not a whit abashed, “and gave us each a bit, only she took +more than half for herself.” It was clear to me that there had been some +quarrel, some delicious quarrel, between Aunt Sally and Miss Grogram. +Through the whole adventure I had rather respected Aunt Sally. “She took +more than half for herself,” continued Aunt Sally. “She kept all the—” + +“Jemima,” said the elder Miss Macmanus, interrupting the speaker and +addressing her sister, “it is time, I think, for the young ladies to +retire. Will you be kind enough to see them to their rooms?” The five +pupils thereupon rose from their seats—and courtesied. They then left +the room in file, the younger Miss Macmanus showing them the way. + +“But we haven’t done any harm, have we?” asked Mrs. Jones, with some +tremulousness in her voice. + +“Well, I don’t know,” said Miss Macmanus. “What I’m thinking of now is +this;—to whom, I wonder, did the garments properly belong? Who had been +the owner and wearer of them?” + +“Why, General Chassé of course,” said Miss Grogram. + +“They were the general’s,” repeated the two young ladies; blushing, +however, as they alluded to the subject. + +“Well, we thought they were the general’s, certainly; and a very +excellent article they were,” said Mrs. Jones. + +“Perhaps they were the butler’s?” said Aunt Sally. I certainly had not +given her credit for so much sarcasm. + +“Butler’s!” exclaimed Miss Grogram, with a toss of her head. + +“Oh, Aunt Sally, Aunt Sally! how can you?” shrieked the two young ladies. + +“Oh laws!” ejaculated Mrs. Jones. + +“I don’t think that they could have belonged to the butler,” said Miss +Macmanus, with much authority, “seeing that domestics in this country are +never clad in garments of that description; so far my own observation +enables me to speak with certainty. But it is equally sure that they +were never the property of the general lately in command at Antwerp. +Generals, when they are in full dress, wear ornamental lace upon +their—their regimentals; and when—” So much she said, and something +more, which it may be unnecessary that I should repeat; but such were her +eloquence and logic that no doubt would have been left on the mind of any +impartial hearer. If an argumentative speaker ever proved anything, Miss +Macmanus proved that General Chassé had never been the wearer of the +article in question. + +“But I know very well they were his!” said Miss Grogram, who was not an +impartial hearer. “Of course they were; whose else’s should they be?” + +“I’m sure I hope they were his,” said one of the young ladies, almost +crying. + +“I wish I’d never taken it,” said the other. + +“Dear, dear, dear!” said Mrs. Jones. + +“I’ll give you my needle-case, Miss Grogram,” said Aunt Sally. + +I had sat hitherto silent during the whole scene, meditating how best I +might confound the red-nosed harpy. Now, I thought, was the time for me +to strike in. + +“I really think, ladies, that there has been some mistake,” said I. + +“There has been no mistake at all, sir!” said Miss Grogram. + +“Perhaps not,” I answered, very mildly; “very likely not. But some +affair of a similar nature was very much talked about in Antwerp +yesterday.” + +“Oh laws!” again ejaculated Mrs. Jones. + +“The affair I allude to has been talked about a good deal, certainly,” I +continued. “But perhaps it may be altogether a different circumstance.” + +“And what may be the circumstance to which you allude?” asked Miss +Macmanus, in the same authoritative tone. + +“I dare say it has nothing to do with these ladies,” said I; “but an +article of dress, of the nature they have described, was cut up in the +Castle of Antwerp on the day before yesterday. It belonged to a +gentleman who was visiting the place; and I was given to understand that +he is determined to punish the people who have wronged him.” + +“It can’t be the same,” said Miss Grogram; but I could see that she was +trembling. + +“Oh laws! what will become of us?” said Mrs. Jones. + +“You can all prove that I didn’t touch them, and that I warned her not,” +said Aunt Sally. In the mean time the two young ladies had almost +fainted behind their fans. + +“But how had it come to pass,” asked Miss Macmanus, “that the gentleman +had—” + +“I know nothing more about it, cousin,” said I; “only it does seem that +there is an odd coincidence.” + +Immediately after this I took my leave. I saw that I had avenged my +friend, and spread dismay in the hearts of these who had injured him. I +had learned in the course of the evening at what hotel the five ladies +were staying; and in the course of the next morning I sauntered into the +hall, and finding one of the porters alone, asked if they were still +there. The man told me that they had started by the earliest diligence. +“And,” said he, “if you are a friend of theirs, perhaps you will take +charge of these things, which they have left behind them?” So saying, he +pointed to a table at the back of the hall, on which were lying the black +bag, the black needle-case, the black pin cushion, and the black +pen-wiper. There was also a heap of fragments of cloth which I well knew +had been intended by Miss Grogram for the comfort of her feet and ancles. + +I declined the commission, however. “They were no special friends of +mine,” I said; and I left all the relics still lying on the little table +in the back hall. + +“Upon the whole, I am satisfied!” said the Rev. Augustus Horne, when I +told him the finale of the story. + + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RELICS OF GENERAL CHASSE*** + + +******* This file should be named 3711-0.txt or 3711-0.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/7/1/3711 + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will +be renamed. + +Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright +law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, +so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United +States without permission and without paying copyright +royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part +of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm +concept and trademark. 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