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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Rosary, by Florence L. Barclay
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Rosary
+
+Author: Florence L. Barclay
+
+Posting Date: April 29, 2009 [EBook #3659]
+Release Date: January, 2003
+First Posted: July 4, 2001
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ROSARY ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Charles Franks and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team. HTML version by Al Haines.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+The Rosary
+
+
+BY
+
+Florence L. Barclay
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+CHAPTER
+
+       I   ENTER--THE DUCHESS
+      II   INTRODUCES THE HONOURABLE JANE
+     III   THE SURPRISE PACKET
+      IV   JANE VOLUNTEERS
+       V   CONFIDENCES
+      VI   THE VEIL IS LIFTED
+     VII   GARTH FINDS HIS ROSARY
+    VIII   ADDED PEARLS
+      IX   LADY INGLEBY'S HOUSE PARTY
+       X   THE REVELATION
+      XI   GARTH FINDS THE CROSS
+     XII   THE DOCTOR'S PRESCRIPTION
+    XIII   THE ANSWER OF THE SPHINX
+     XIV   IN DERYCK'S SAFE CONTROL
+      XV   THE CONSULTATION
+     XVI   THE DOCTOR FINDS A WAY
+    XVII   ENTER--NURSE ROSEMARY
+   XVIII   THE NAPOLEON OF THE MOORS
+     XIX   THE VOICE IN THE DARKNESS.
+      XX   JANE REPORTS PROGRESS
+     XXI   HARD ON THE SECRETARY
+    XXII   DR. ROB TO THE RESCUE
+   XXIII   THE ONLY WAY
+    XXIV   THE MAN'S POINT OF VIEW
+     XXV   THE DOCTOR'S DIAGNOSIS
+    XXVI   HEARTS MEET IN SIGHTLESS LAND
+   XXVII   THE EYES GARTH TRUSTED
+  XXVIII   IN THE STUDIO
+    XXIX   JANE LOOKS INTO LOVES MIRROR
+     XXX   "THE LADY PORTRAYED"
+    XXXI   IN LIGHTER VEIN
+   XXXII   AN INTERLUDE
+  XXXIII   "SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN!"
+   XXXIV   "LOVE NEVER FAILETH"
+    XXXV   NURSE ROSEMARY HAS HER REWARD
+   XXXVI   THE REVELATION OF THE ROSARY
+  XXXVII   "IN THE FACE OF THIS CONGREGATION"
+ XXXVIII   PERPETUAL LIGHT
+
+
+
+
+THE ROSARY
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I
+
+ENTER THE DUCHESS.
+
+
+The peaceful stillness of an English summer afternoon brooded over the
+park and gardens at Overdene. A hush of moving sunlight and lengthening
+shadows lay upon the lawn, and a promise of refreshing coolness made
+the shade of the great cedar tree a place to be desired.
+
+The old stone house, solid, substantial, and unadorned, suggested
+unlimited spaciousness and comfort within; and was redeemed from
+positive ugliness without, by the fine ivy, magnolia trees, and
+wistaria, of many years' growth, climbing its plain face, and now
+covering it with a mantle of soft green, large white blooms, and a
+cascade of purple blossom.
+
+A terrace ran the full length of the house, bounded at one end by a
+large conservatory, at the other by an aviary. Wide stone steps, at
+intervals, led down from the terrace on to the soft springy turf of the
+lawn. Beyond--the wide park; clumps of old trees, haunted by shy brown
+deer; and, through the trees, fitful gleams of the river, a narrow
+silver ribbon, winding gracefully in and out between long grass,
+buttercups, and cow-daisies.
+
+The sun-dial pointed to four o'clock.
+
+The birds were having their hour of silence. Not a trill sounded from
+among the softly moving leaves, not a chirp, not a twitter. The
+stillness seemed almost oppressive. The one brilliant spot of colour in
+the landscape was a large scarlet macaw, asleep on his stand under the
+cedar.
+
+At last came the sound of an opening door. A quaint old figure stepped
+out on to the terrace, walked its entire length to the right, and
+disappeared into the rose-garden. The Duchess of Meldrum had gone to
+cut her roses.
+
+She wore an ancient straw hat, of the early-Victorian shape known as
+"mushroom," tied with black ribbons beneath her portly chin; a loose
+brown holland coat; a very short tweed skirt, and Engadine "gouties."
+She had on some very old gauntlet gloves, and carried a wooden basket
+and a huge pair of scissors.
+
+A wag had once remarked that if you met her Grace of Meldrum returning
+from gardening or feeding her poultry, and were in a charitable frame
+of mind, you would very likely give her sixpence. But, after you had
+thus drawn her attention to yourself and she looked at you, Sir Walter
+Raleigh's cloak would not be in it! Your one possible course would be
+to collapse into the mud, and let the ducal "gouties" trample on you.
+This the duchess would do with gusto; then accept your apologies with
+good nature; and keep your sixpence, to show when she told the story.
+
+The duchess lived alone; that is to say, she had no desire for the
+perpetual companionship of any of her own kith and kin, nor for the
+constant smiles and flattery of a paid companion. Her pale daughter,
+whom she had systematically snubbed, had married; her handsome son,
+whom she had adored and spoiled, had prematurely died, before the
+death, a few years since, of Thomas, fifth Duke of Meldrum. He had come
+to a sudden and, as the duchess often remarked, very suitable end; for,
+on his sixty-second birthday, clad in all the splendours of his hunting
+scarlet, top hat, and buff corduroy breeches, the mare he was
+mercilessly putting at an impossible fence suddenly refused, and
+Thomas, Duke of Meldrum, shot into a field of turnips; pitched upon his
+head, and spoke no more.
+
+This sudden cessation of his noisy and fiery life meant a complete
+transformation in the entourage of the duchess. Hitherto she had had to
+tolerate the boon companions, congenial to himself, with whom he chose
+to fill the house; or to invite those of her own friends to whom she
+could explain Thomas, and who suffered Thomas gladly, out of friendship
+for her, and enjoyment of lovely Overdene. But even then the duchess
+had no pleasure in her parties; for, quaint rough diamond though she
+herself might appear, the bluest of blue blood ran in her veins; and,
+though her manner had the off-hand abruptness and disregard of other
+people's feelings not unfrequently found in old ladies of high rank,
+she was at heart a true gentlewoman, and could always be trusted to say
+and do the right thing in moments of importance: The late duke's
+language had been sulphurous and his manners Georgian; and when he had
+been laid in the unwonted quiet of his ancestral vault--"so unlike him,
+poor dear," as the duchess remarked, "that it is quite a comfort to
+know he is not really there"--her Grace looked around her, and began to
+realise the beauties and possibilities of Overdene.
+
+At first she contented herself with gardening, making an aviary, and
+surrounding herself with all sorts of queer birds and beasts; upon whom
+she lavished the affection which, of late years, had known no human
+outlet.
+
+But after a while her natural inclination to hospitality, her humorous
+enjoyment of other people's foibles, and a quaint delight in parading
+her own, led to constant succession of house-parties at Overdene, which
+soon became known as a Liberty Hall of varied delights where you always
+met the people you most wanted to meet, found every facility for
+enjoying your favourite pastime, were fed and housed in perfect style,
+and spent some of the most ideal days of your summer, or cheery days of
+your winter, never dull, never bored, free to come and go as you
+pleased, and everything seasoned everybody with the delightful "sauce
+piquante" of never being quite sure what the duchess would do or say
+next.
+
+She mentally arranged her parties under three heads--"freak parties,"
+"mere people parties," and "best parties." A "best party" was in
+progress on the lovely June day when the duchess, having enjoyed an
+unusually long siesta, donned what she called her "garden togs" and
+sallied forth to cut roses.
+
+As she tramped along the terrace and passed through the little iron
+gate leading to the rose-garden, Tommy, the scarlet macaw, opened one
+eye and watched her; gave a loud kiss as she reached the gate and
+disappeared from view, then laughed to himself and went to sleep again.
+
+Of all the many pets, Tommy was prime favourite. He represented the
+duchess's one concession to morbid sentiment. After the demise of the
+duke she had found it so depressing to be invariably addressed with
+suave deference by every male voice she heard. If the butler could have
+snorted, or the rector have rapped out an uncomplimentary adjective,
+the duchess would have felt cheered. As it was, a fixed and settled
+melancholy lay upon her spirit until she saw in a dealer's list an
+advertisement of a prize macaw, warranted a grand talker, with a
+vocabulary of over five hundred words.
+
+The duchess went immediately to town, paid a visit to the dealer, heard
+a few of the macaw's words and the tone in which he said them, bought
+him on the spot, and took him down to Overdene. The first evening he
+sat crossly on the perch of his grand new stand, declining to say a
+single one of his five hundred words, though the duchess spent her
+evening in the hall, sitting in every possible place; first close to
+him; then, away in a distant corner; in an arm-chair placed behind a
+screen; reading, with her back turned, feigning not to notice him;
+facing him with concentrated attention. Tommy merely clicked his tongue
+at her every time she emerged from a hiding-place; or, if the rather
+worried butler or nervous under-footman passed hurriedly through the
+hall, sent showers of kisses after them, and then went into fits of
+ventriloquial laughter. The duchess, in despair, even tried reminding
+him in a whisper of the remarks he had made in the shop; but Tommy only
+winked at her and put his claw over his beak. Still, she enjoyed his
+flushed and scarlet appearance, and retired to rest hopeful and in no
+wise regretting her bargain.
+
+The next morning it became instantly evident to the house-maid who
+swept the hall, the footman who sorted the letters, and the butler who
+sounded the breakfast gong, that a good night's rest had restored to
+Tommy the full use of his vocabulary. And when the duchess came sailing
+down the stairs, ten minutes after the gong had sounded, and Tommy,
+flapping his wings angrily, shrieked at her: "Now then, old girl! Come
+on!" she went to breakfast in a more cheerful mood than she had known
+for months past.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II
+
+INTRODUCES THE HONOURABLE JANE
+
+
+The only one of her relatives who practically made her home with the
+duchess was her niece and former ward, the Honourable Jane Champion;
+and this consisted merely in the fact that the Honourable Jane was the
+one person who might invite herself to Overdene or Portland Place,
+arrive when she chose, stay as long as she pleased, and leave when it
+suited her convenience. On the death of her father, when her lonely
+girlhood in her Norfolk home came to an end, she would gladly have
+filled the place of a daughter to the duchess. But the duchess did not
+require a daughter; and a daughter with pronounced views, plenty of
+back-bone of her own, a fine figure, and a plain face, would have
+seemed to her Grace of Meldrum a peculiarly undesirable acquisition. So
+Jane was given to understand that she might come whenever she liked,
+and stay as long as she liked, but on the same footing as other people.
+This meant liberty to come and go as she pleased; and no responsibility
+towards her aunt's guests. The duchess preferred managing her own
+parties in her oven way.
+
+Jane Champion was now in her thirtieth year. She had once been
+described, by one who saw below the surface, as a perfectly beautiful
+woman in an absolutely plain shell; and no man had as yet looked
+beneath the shell, and seen the woman in her perfection. She would have
+made earth heaven for a blind lover who, not having eyes for the
+plainness of her face or the massiveness of her figure, might have
+drawn nearer, and apprehended the wonder of her as a woman,
+experiencing the wealth of tenderness of which she was capable, the
+blessed comfort of the shelter of her love, the perfect comprehension
+of her sympathy, the marvellous joy of winning and wedding her. But as
+yet, no blind man with far-seeing vision had come her way; and it
+always seemed to be her lot to take a second place, on occasions when
+she would have filled the first to infinite perfection.
+
+She had been bridesmaid at weddings where the charming brides,
+notwithstanding their superficial loveliness, possessed few of the
+qualifications for wifehood with which she was so richly endowed.
+
+She was godmother to her friends' babies, she, whose motherhood would
+have been a thing for wonder and worship.
+
+She had a glorious voice, but her face not matching it, its existence
+was rarely suspected; and as she accompanied to perfection, she was
+usually in requisition to play for the singing of others.
+
+In short, all her life long Jane had filled second places, and filled
+them very contentedly. She had never known what it was to be absolutely
+first with any one. Her mother's death had occurred during her infancy,
+so that she had not even the most shadowy remembrance of that maternal
+love and tenderness which she used sometimes to try to imagine,
+although she had never experienced it.
+
+Her mother's maid, a faithful and devoted woman, dismissed soon after
+the death of her mistress, chancing to be in the neighbourhood some
+twelve years later, called at the manor, in the hope of finding some in
+the household who remembered her.
+
+After tea, Fraulein and Miss Jebb being out of the way, she was
+spirited up into the schoolroom to see Miss Jane, her heart full of
+memories of the "sweet babe" upon whom she and her dear lady had
+lavished so much love and care.
+
+She found awaiting her a tall, plain girl with a frank, boyish manner
+and a rather disconcerting way as she afterwards remarked, of "taking
+stock of a body the while one was a-talking," which at first checked
+the flow of good Sarah's reminiscences, poured forth so freely in the
+housekeeper's room below, and reduced her to looking tearfully around
+the room, remarking that she remembered choosing the blessed wall-paper
+with her dear lady now gone, whose joy had been so great when the dear
+babe first took notice and reached up for the roses. "And I can show
+you, miss, if you care to know it just which bunch of roses it were."
+
+But before Sarah's visit was over, Jane had heard many
+undreamed-of-things; amongst others, that her mother used to kiss her
+little hands, "ah, many a time she, did, miss; called them little
+rose-petals, and covered them with kisses."
+
+The child, utterly unused to any demonstrations of affection, looked at
+her rather ungainly brown hands and laughed, simply because she was
+ashamed of the unwonted tightening at her throat and the queer stinging
+of tears beneath her eyelids. Thus Sarah departed under the impression
+that Miss Jane had grown up into a rather a heartless young lady. But
+Fraulein and Jebbie never knew why, from that day onward, the hands, of
+which they had so often had cause to complain, were kept scrupulously
+clean; and on her birthday night, unashamed in the quiet darkness, the
+lonely little child kissed her own hands beneath the bedclothes,
+striving thus to reach the tenderness of her dead mother's lips.
+
+And in after years, when she became her own mistress, one of her first
+actions was to advertise for Sarah Matthews and engage her as her own
+maid, at a salary which enabled the good woman eventually to buy
+herself a comfortable annuity.
+
+Jane saw but little of her father, who had found it difficult to
+forgive her, firstly, for being a girl when he desired a son; secondly,
+being a girl, for having inherited his plainness rather than her
+mother's beauty. Parents are apt to see no injustice in the fact that
+they are often annoyed with their offspring for possessing attributes,
+both of character and appearance, with which they themselves have
+endowed them.
+
+The hero of Jane's childhood, the chum of her girlhood and the close
+friend of her maturer years, was Deryck Brand, only son of the rector
+of the parish, and her senior by nearly ten years. But even in their
+friendship, close though it was, she had never felt herself first to
+him. As a medical student, at home during vacations, his mother and his
+profession took precedence in his mind of the lonely child, whose
+devotion pleased him and whose strong character and original mental
+development interested him. Later on he married a lovely girl, as
+unlike Jane as one woman could possibly be to another; but still their
+friendship held and deepened; and now, when he was rapidly advancing to
+the very front rank of his profession, her appreciation of his work,
+and sympathetic understanding of his aims and efforts, meant more to
+him than even the signal mark of royal favour, of which he had lately
+been the recipient.
+
+Jane Champion had no close friends amongst the women of her set. Her
+lonely girlhood had bred in her an absolute frankness towards herself
+and other people which made it difficult for her to understand or
+tolerate the little artificialities of society, or the trivial
+weaknesses of her own sex. Women to whom she had shown special
+kindness--and they were many--maintained an attitude of grateful
+admiration in her presence, and of cowardly silence in her absence when
+she chanced to be under discussion.
+
+But of men friends she had many, especially among a set of young
+fellows just through college, of whom she made particular chums; nice
+lads, who wrote to her of their college and mess-room scrapes, as they
+would never have dreamed of doing to their own mothers. She knew
+perfectly well that they called her "old Jane" and "pretty Jane" and
+"dearest Jane" amongst themselves, but she believed in the harmlessness
+of their fun and the genuineness of their affection, and gave them a
+generous amount of her own in return.
+
+Jane Champion happened just now to be paying one of her long visits to
+Overdene, and was playing golf with a boy for whom she had long had a
+rod in pickle on this summer afternoon when the duchess went to cut
+blooms in her rose-garden. Only, as Jane found out, you cannot
+decorously lead up to a scolding if you are very keen on golf, and go
+golfing with a person who is equally enthusiastic, and who all the way
+to the links explains exactly how he played every hole the last time he
+went round, and all the way back gloats over, in retrospection, the way
+you and he have played every hole this time.
+
+So Jane considered her afternoon, didactically, a failure. But, in the
+smoking-room that night, young Cathcart explained the game all over
+again to a few choice spirits, and then remarked: "Old Jane was superb!
+Fancy! Such a drive as that, and doing number seven in three and not
+talking about it! I've jolly well made up my mind to send no more
+bouquets to Tou-Tou. Hang it, boys! You can't see yourself at champagne
+suppers with a dancing-woman, when you've walked round the links, on a
+day like this, with the Honourable Jane. She drives like a rifle shot,
+and when she lofts, you'd think the ball was a swallow; and beat me
+three holes up and never mentioned it. By Jove, a fellow wants to have
+a clean bill when he shakes hands with her!"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III
+
+THE SURPRISE PACKET
+
+
+The sun-dial pointed to half past four o'clock. The hour of silence
+appeared to be over. The birds commenced twittering; and a cuckoo, in
+an adjacent wood, sounded his note at intervals.
+
+The house awoke to sudden life. There was an opening and shutting of
+doors. Two footmen, in the mulberry and silver of the Meldrum livery,
+hurried down from the terrace, carrying folding tea-tables, with which
+they supplemented those of rustic oak standing permanently under the
+cedar. One, promptly returned to the house; while the other remained
+behind, spreading snowy cloths over each table.
+
+
+The macaw awoke, stretched his wings and flapped them twice, then
+sidled up and down his perch, concentrating his attention upon the
+footman.
+
+"Mind!" he exclaimed suddenly, in the butler's voice, as a cloth, flung
+on too hurriedly, fluttered to the grass.
+
+"Hold your jaw!" said the young footman irritably, flicking the bird
+with the table-cloth, and then glancing furtively at the rose-garden.
+
+"Tommy wants a gooseberry!" shrieked the macaw, dodging the table-cloth
+and hanging, head downwards, from his perch.
+
+"Don't you wish you may get it?" said the footman viciously.
+
+"Give it him, somebody," remarked Tommy, in the duchess's voice.
+
+The footman started, and looked over his shoulder; then hurriedly told
+Tommy just what he thought of him, and where he wished him; cuffed him
+soundly, and returned to the house, followed by peals of laughter,
+mingled with exhortations and imprecations from the angry bird, who
+danced up and down on his perch until his enemy had vanished from view.
+
+A few minutes later the tables were spread with the large variety of
+eatables considered necessary at an English afternoon tea; the massive
+silver urn and teapots gleamed on the buffet-table, behind which the
+old butler presided; muffins, crumpets, cakes, and every kind of
+sandwich supplemented the dainty little rolled slices of white and
+brown bread-and-butter, while heaped-up bowls of freshly gathered
+strawberries lent a touch of colour to the artistic effect of white and
+silver. When all was ready, the butler raised his hand and sounded an
+old Chinese gong hanging in the cedar tree. Before the penetrating boom
+had died away, voices were heard in the distance from all over the
+grounds.
+
+Up from the river, down from the tennis courts, out from house and
+garden, came the duchess's guests, rejoicing in the refreshing prospect
+of tea, hurrying to the welcome shade of the cedar;--charming women in
+white, carefully guarding their complexions beneath shady hats and
+picturesque parasols;--delightful girls, who had long ago sacrificed
+complexions to comfort, and now walked across the lawn bareheaded,
+swinging their rackets and discussing the last hard-fought set; men in
+flannels, sunburned and handsome, joining in the talk and laughter;
+praising their partners, while remaining unobtrusively silent as to
+their own achievements.
+
+They made a picturesque group as they gathered under the tree,
+subsiding with immense satisfaction into the low wicker chairs, or on
+to the soft turf, and helping themselves to what they pleased. When all
+were supplied with tea, coffee, or iced drinks, to their liking,
+conversation flowed again.
+
+"So the duchess's concert comes off to-night," remarked some one. "I
+wish to goodness they would hang this tree with Chinese lanterns and,
+have it out here. It is too hot to face a crowded function indoors."
+
+"Oh, that's all right," said Garth Dalmain, "I'm stage-manager, you
+know; and I can promise you that all the long windows opening on to the
+terrace shall stand wide. So no one need be in the concert-room, who
+prefers to stop outside. There will be a row of lounge chairs placed on
+the terrace near the windows. You won't see much; but you will hear,
+perfectly."
+
+"Ah, but half the fun is in seeing," exclaimed one of the tennis girls.
+"People who have remained on the terrace will miss all the point of it
+afterwards when the dear duchess shows us how everybody did it. I don't
+care how hot it is. Book me a seat in the front row!"
+
+"Who is the surprise packet to-night?" asked Lady Ingleby, who had
+arrived since luncheon.
+
+"Velma," said Mary Strathern. "She is coming for the week-end, and
+delightful it will be to have her. No one but the duchess could have
+worked it, and no place but Overdene would have tempted her. She will
+sing only one song at the concert; but she is sure to break forth later
+on, and give us plenty. We will persuade Jane to drift to the piano
+accidentally and play over, just by chance, the opening bars of some of
+Velma's best things, and we shall soon hear the magic voice. She never
+can resist a perfectly played accompaniment."
+
+"Why call Madame Velma the `surprise packet'?" asked a girl, to whom
+the Overdene "best parties" were a new experience.
+
+"That, my dear," replied Lady Ingleby, "is a little joke of the
+duchess's. This concert is arranged for the amusement of her house
+party, and for the gratification and glorification of local
+celebrities. The whole neighbourhood is invited. None of you are asked
+to perform, but local celebrities are. In fact they furnish the entire
+programme, to their own delight, the satisfaction of their friends and
+relatives, and our entertainment, particularly afterwards when the
+duchess takes us through every item, with original notes, comments, and
+impersonations. Oh, Dal! Do you remember when she tucked a sheet of
+white writing-paper into her tea-gown for a dog collar, and took off
+the high-church curate nervously singing a comic song? Then at the very
+end, you see--and really some of it is quite good for amateurs--she
+trots out Velma, or some equally perfect artiste, to show them how it
+really can be done; and suddenly the place is full of music, and a
+great hush falls on the audience, and the poor complacent amateurs
+realise that the noise they have been making was, after all, not music;
+and they go dumbly home. But they have forgotten all about it by the
+following year; or a fresh contingent of willing performers steps into
+the breach. The duchess's little joke always comes off."
+
+"The Honourable Jane does not approve of it," said young Ronald Ingram;
+"therefore she is generally given marching orders and departs to her
+next visit before the event. But no one can accompany Madame Velma so
+perfectly, so this time she is commanded to stay. But I doubt if the
+'surprise packet' will come off with quite such a shock as usual, and I
+am certain the fun won't be so good afterwards. The Honourable Jane has
+been known to jump on the duchess for that sort of thing. She is safe
+to get the worst of it at the time, but it has a restraining effect
+afterwards."
+
+"I think Miss Champion is quite right," said a bright-faced American
+girl, bravely, holding a gold spoon poised for a moment over the
+strawberry ice-cream with which Garth Dalmain had supplied her.
+
+"In my country we should call it real mean to laugh, at people who had
+been our guests and performed in our houses."
+
+"In your country, my dear," said Myra Ingleby, "you have no duchesses."
+
+"Well, we supply you with quite a good few," replied the American girl
+calmly, and went on with her ice.
+
+A general laugh followed; and the latest Anglo-American match came up
+for discussion.
+
+"Where is the Honourable Jane?" inquired someone presently.
+
+"Golfing with Billy," said Ronald Ingram. "Ah, here they come."
+
+Jane's tall figure was seen, walking along the terrace, accompanied by
+Billy Cathcart, talking eagerly. They put their clubs away in the lower
+hall; then came down the lawn together to the tea-tables.
+
+Jane wore a tailor-made coat and skirt of grey tweed, a blue and white
+cambric shirt, starched linen collar and cuffs, a silk tie, and a soft
+felt hat with a few black quills in it. She walked with the freedom of
+movement and swing of limb which indicate great strength and a body
+well under control. Her appearance was extraordinarily unlike that of
+all the pretty and graceful women grouped beneath the cedar tree. And
+yet it was in no sense masculine--or, to use a more appropriate word,
+mannish; for everything strong is masculine; but a woman who apes an
+appearance of strength which she does not possess, is mannish;--rather
+was it so truly feminine that she could afford to adopt a severe
+simplicity of attire, which suited admirably the decided plainness of
+her features, and the almost massive proportions of her figure.
+
+She stepped into the circle beneath the cedar, and took one of the
+half-dozen places immediately vacated by the men, with the complete
+absence of self-consciousness which always characterised her.
+
+"What did you go round in, Miss Champion?" inquired one of the men.
+
+"My ordinary clothes," replied Jane; quoting Punch, and evading the
+question.
+
+But Billy burst out: "She went round in--"
+
+"Oh, be quiet, Billy," interposed Jane. "You and I are practically the
+only golf maniacs present. Most of these dear people are even ignorant
+as to who 'bogie' is, or why we should be so proud of beating him.
+Where is my aunt? Poor Simmons was toddling all over the place when we
+went in to put away our clubs, searching for her with a telegram."
+
+"Why didn't you open it?" asked Myra.
+
+"Because my aunt never allows her telegrams to be opened. She loves
+shocks; and there is always the possibility of a telegram containing
+startling news. She says it completely spoils it if some one else knows
+it first, and breaks it to her gently."
+
+"Here comes the duchess," said Garth Dalmain, who was sitting where he
+could see the little gate into the rose-garden.
+
+"Do not mention the telegram," cautioned Jane. "It would not please her
+that I should even know of its arrival. It would be a shame to take any
+of the bloom off the unexpected delight of a wire on this hot day, when
+nothing unusual seemed likely to happen."
+
+They turned and looked towards the duchess as she bustled across the
+lawn; this quaint old figure, who had called them together; who owned
+the lovely place where they were spending such delightful days; and
+whose odd whimsicalities had been so freely discussed while they drank
+her tea and feasted off her strawberries. The men rose as she
+approached, but not quite so spontaneously as they had done for her
+niece.
+
+The duchess carried a large wooden basket filled to overflowing with
+exquisite roses. Every bloom was perfect, and each had been cut at
+exactly the right moment.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV
+
+JANE VOLUNTEERS
+
+
+The duchess plumped down her basket in the middle of the strawberry
+table.
+
+"There, good people!" she said, rather breathlessly. "Help yourselves,
+and let me see you all wearing roses to-night. And the concert-room is
+to be a bower of roses. We will call it 'LA FETE DES ROSES.' ... No,
+thank you, Ronnie. That tea has been made half an hour at least, and
+you ought to love me too well to press it upon me. Besides, I never
+take tea. I have a whiskey and soda when I wake from my nap, and that
+sustains me until dinner. Oh yes, my dear Myra, I know I came to your
+interesting meeting, and signed that excellent pledge 'POUR ENCOURAGER
+LES AUTRES'; but I drove straight to my doctor when I left your house,
+and he gave me a certificate to say I MUST take something when I needed
+it; and I always need it when I wake from my nap.... Really, Dal, it
+is positively wicked for any man, off the stage, to look as picturesque
+as you do, in that pale violet shirt, and dark violet tie, and those
+white flannels. If I were your grandmother I should send you in to take
+them off. If you turn the heads of old dowagers such as I am, what
+chance have all these chickens? ... Hush, Tommy! That was a very
+naughty word! And you need not be jealous of Dal. I admire you still
+more. Dal, will you paint my scarlet macaw?"
+
+The young artist, whose portraits in that year's Academy had created
+much interest in the artistic world, and whose violet shirt had just
+been so severely censured, lay back in his lounge-chair, with his arms
+behind his head and a gleam of amusement in his bright brown eyes.
+
+"No, dear Duchess," he said. "I beg respectfully to decline the
+commission, Tommy would require a Landseer to do full justice to his
+attitudes and expression. Besides, it would be demoralising to an
+innocent and well-brought-up youth, such as you know me to be, to spend
+long hours in Tommy's society, listening to the remarks that sweet bird
+would make while I painted him. But I will tell you what I will do. I
+will paint you, dear Duchess, only not in that hat! Ever since I was
+quite a small boy, a straw hat with black ribbons tied under the chin
+has made me feel ill. If I yielded to my natural impulses now, I should
+hide my face in Miss Champion's lap, and kick and scream until you took
+it off. I will paint you in the black velvet gown you wore last night,
+with the Medici collar; and the jolly arrangement of lace and diamonds
+on your head. And in your hand you shall hold an antique crystal
+mirror, mounted in silver."
+
+The artist half closed his eyes, and as he described his picture in a
+voice full of music and mystery, an attentive hush fell upon the gay
+group around him. When Garth Dalmain described his pictures, people saw
+them. When they walked into the Academy or the New Gallery the
+following year, they would say: "Ah, there it is! just as we saw it
+that day, before a stroke of it was on the canvas."
+
+"In your left hand, you shall hold the mirror, but you shall not be
+looking into it; because you never look into mirrors, dear Duchess,
+excepting to see whether the scolding you are giving your maid, as she
+stands behind you, is making her cry; and whether that is why she is
+being so clumsy in her manipulation of pins and things. If it is, you
+promptly promise her a day off, to go and see her old mother; and pay
+her journey there and back. If it isn't, you scold her some more. Were
+I the maid, I should always cry, large tears warranted to show in the
+glass; only I should not sniff, because sniffing is so intensely
+aggravating; and I should be most frightfully careful that my tears did
+not run down your neck."
+
+"Dal, you ridiculous CHILD!" said the duchess. "Leave off talking about
+my maids, and my neck, and your crocodile tears, and finish describing
+the portrait. What do I do, with the mirror?"
+
+"You do not look into it," continued Garth Dalmain, meditatively;
+"because we KNOW that is a thing you never do. Even when you put on
+that hat, and tie those ribbons--Miss Champion, I wish you would hold
+my hand--in a bow under your chin, you don't consult the mirror. But
+you shall sit with it in your left hand, your elbow resting on an
+Eastern table of black ebony inlaid with mother-of-pearl. You will turn
+it from you, so that it reflects something exactly in front of you in
+the imaginary foreground. You will be looking at this unseen object
+with an expression of sublime affection. And in the mirror I will paint
+a vivid, brilliant, complete reflection, minute, but perfect in every
+detail, of your scarlet macaw on his perch. We will call it
+'Reflections,' because one must always give a silly up-to-date title to
+pictures, and just now one nondescript word is the fashion, unless you
+feel it needful to attract to yourself the eye of the public, in the
+catalogue, by calling your picture twenty lines of Tennyson. But when
+the portrait goes down to posterity as a famous picture, it will figure
+in the catalogue of the National Gallery as 'The Duchess, the Mirror,
+and the Macaw.'"
+
+"Bravo!" said the duchess, delighted. "You shall paint it, Dal, in time
+for next year's Academy, and we will all go and see it."
+
+And he did. And they all went. And when they saw it they said: "Ah, of
+course! There it is; just as we saw it under the cedar at Overdene."
+
+"Here comes Simmons with something on a salver," exclaimed the duchess.
+"How that man waddles! Why can't somebody teach him to step out? Jane!
+You march across this lawn like a grenadier. Can't you explain to
+Simmons how it's done? ... Well? What is it? Ha! A telegram. Now what
+horrible thing can have happened? Who would like to guess? I hope it is
+not merely some idiot who has missed a train."
+
+Amid a breathless and highly satisfactory silence, the duchess tore
+open the orange envelope.
+
+Apparently the shock was of a thorough, though not enjoyable, kind; for
+the duchess, at all times highly coloured, became purple as she read,
+and absolutely inarticulate with indignation. Jane rose quietly, looked
+over her aunt's shoulder, read the long message, and returned to her
+seat.
+
+"Creature!" exclaimed the duchess, at last. "Oh, creature! This comes
+of asking them as friends. And I had a lovely string of pearls for her,
+worth far more than she would have been offered, professionally, for
+one song. And to fail at the last minute! Oh, CREATURE!"
+
+"Dear aunt," said Jane, "if poor Madame Velma has a sudden attack of
+laryngitis, she could not possibly sing a note, even had the Queen
+commanded her. Her telegram is full of regrets."
+
+"Don't argue, Jane!" exclaimed the duchess, crossly. "And don't drag in
+the Queen, who has nothing to do with my concert or Velma's throat. I
+do abominate irrelevance, and you know it! WHY must she have her
+what--do--you--call--it, just when she was coming to sing here? In my
+young days people never had these new-fangled complaints. I have no
+patience with all this appendicitis and what not--cutting people open
+at every possible excuse. In my young days we called it a good
+old-fashioned stomach-ache, and gave them Turkey rhubarb!"
+
+Myra Ingleby hid her face behind her garden hat; and Garth Dalmain
+whispered to Jane: "I do abominate irrelevance, and you know it!" But
+Jane shook her head at him, and refused to smile.
+
+"Tommy wants a gooseberry!" shouted the macaw, having apparently
+noticed the mention of rhubarb.
+
+"Oh, give it him, somebody!" said the worried duchess.
+
+"Dear aunt," said Jane, "there are no gooseberries."
+
+"Don't argue, girl!" cried the duchess, furiously; and Garth,
+delighted, shook his head at Jane. "When he says 'gooseberry,' he means
+anything GREEN, as you very well know!"
+
+Half a dozen people hastened to Tommy with lettuce, water-cress, and
+cucumber sandwiches; and Garth picked one blade of grass, and handed it
+to Jane; with an air of anxious solicitude; but Jane ignored it.
+
+"No answer, Simmons," said the duchess. "Why don't you go? ... Oh,
+how that man waddles! Teach him to walk, somebody! Now the question is,
+What is to be done? Here is half the county coming to hear Velma, by my
+invitation; and Velma in London pretending to have appendicitis--no, I
+mean the other thing. Oh, 'drat the woman!' as that clever bird would
+say."
+
+"Hold your jaw!" shouted Tommy. The duchess smiled, and consented to
+sit down.
+
+"But, dear Duchess," suggested Garth in his most soothing voice, "the
+county does not know Madame Velma was to be here. It was a profound
+secret. You were to trot her out at the end. Lady Ingleby called her
+your 'surprise packet.'"
+
+Myra came out from behind her garden hat, and the duchess nodded at her
+approvingly.
+
+"Quite true," she said. "That was the lovely part of it. Oh, creature!"
+
+"But, dear Duchess," pursued Garth persuasively, "if the county did not
+know, the county will not be disappointed. They are coming to listen to
+one another, and to hear themselves, and to enjoy your claret-cup and
+ices. All this they will do, and go away delighted, saying how cleverly
+the dear duchess, discovers and exploits local talent."
+
+"Ah, ha!" said the duchess, with a gleam in the hawk eye, and a raising
+of the hooked nose-which Mrs. Parker Bangs of Chicago, who had met the
+duchess once or twice, described as "genuine Plantagenet"--"but they
+will go away wise in their own conceits, and satisfied with their own
+mediocre performances. My idea is to let them do it, and then show them
+how it should be done."
+
+"But Aunt 'Gina," said Jane, gently; "surely you forget that most of
+these people have been to town and heard plenty of good music, Madame
+Velma herself most likely, and all the great singers. They know they
+cannot sing like a prima donna; but they do their anxious best, because
+you ask them. I cannot see that they require an object lesson."
+
+"Jane," said the duchess, "for the third time this afternoon I must
+request you not to argue."
+
+"Miss Champion," said Garth Dalmain, "if I were your grandmamma, I
+should send you to bed."
+
+"What is to be done?" reiterated the duchess. "She was to sing THE
+ROSARY. I had set my heart on it. The whole decoration of the room is
+planned to suit that song--festoons of white roses; and a great
+red-cross at the back of the platform, made entirely of crimson
+ramblers. Jane!"
+
+"Yes, aunt."
+
+"Oh, don't say 'Yes, aunt,' in that senseless way! Can't you make some
+suggestion?"
+
+"Drat the woman!" exclaimed Tommy, suddenly.
+
+"Hark to that sweet bird!" cried the duchess, her good humour fully
+restored. "Give him a strawberry, somebody. Now, Jane, what do you
+suggest?"
+
+Jane Champion was seated with her broad back half turned to her aunt,
+one knee crossed over the other, her large, capable hands clasped round
+it. She loosed her hands, turned slowly round, and looked into the keen
+eyes peering at her from under the mushroom hat. As she read the
+half-resentful, half-appealing demand in them, a slow smile dawned in
+her own. She waited a moment to make sure of the duchess's meaning,
+then said quietly: "I will sing THE ROSARY for you, in Velma's place,
+to-night, if you really wish it, aunt."
+
+Had the gathering under the tree been a party of "mere people," it
+would have gasped. Had it been a "freak party," it would have been
+loud-voiced in its expressions of surprise. Being a "best party," it
+gave no outward sign; but a sense of blank astonishment, purely mental,
+was in the air. The duchess herself was the only person present who had
+heard Jane Champion sing.
+
+"Have you the song?" asked her Grace of Meldrum, rising, and picking up
+her telegram and empty basket.
+
+"I have," said Jane. "I spent a few hours with Madame Blanche when I
+was in town last month; and she, who so rarely admires these modern
+songs, was immensely taken with it. She sang it, and allowed me to
+accompany her. We spent nearly an hour over it. I obtained a copy
+afterwards."
+
+"Good," said the duchess. "Then I count on you. Now I must send a
+sympathetic telegram to that poor dear Velma, who will be fretting at
+having to fail us. So 'au revoir,' good people. Remember, we dine
+punctually at eight o'clock. Music is supposed to begin at nine.
+Ronnie, be a kind boy, and carry Tommy into the hall for me. He will
+screech so fearfully if he sees me walk away without him. He is so very
+loving, dear bird!"
+
+Silence under the cedar.
+
+Most people were watching young Ronald, holding the stand as much at
+arm's length as possible; while Tommy, keeping his balance wonderfully,
+sidled up close to him, evidently making confidential remarks into
+Ronnie's terrified ear. The duchess walked on before, quite satisfied
+with the new turn events had taken.
+
+One or two people were watching Jane.
+
+"It is very brave of you," said Myra Ingleby, at length. "I would offer
+to play your accompaniment, dear; but I can only manage Au clair de la
+lune, and Three Blind Mice, with one finger."
+
+"And I would offer to play your accompaniment, dear," said Garth
+Dalmain, "if you were going to sing Lassen's Allerseelen, for I play
+that quite beautifully with ten fingers! It is an education only to
+hear the way I bring out the tolling of the cemetery chapel bell right
+through the song. The poor thing with the bunch of purple heather can
+never get away from it. Even in the grand crescendo, appassionata,
+fortissimo, when they discover that 'in death's dark valley this is
+Holy Day,' I give then no holiday from that bell. I don't know what it
+did 'once in May.' It tolls all the time, with maddening persistence,
+in my accompaniment. But I have seen The Rosary, and I dare not face
+those chords. To begin with, you start in every known flat; and before
+you have gone far you have gathered unto yourself handfuls of known and
+unknown sharps, to which you cling, not daring to let them go, lest
+they should be wanted again the next moment. Alas, no! When it is a
+question of accompanying The Rosary, I must say, as the old farmer at
+the tenants' dinner the other day said to the duchess when she pressed
+upon him a third helping of pudding: 'Madam, I CANNOT!'"
+
+"Don't be silly, Dal," said Jane. "You could accompany The Rosary
+perfectly, if I wanted it done. But, as it happens, I prefer
+accompanying myself."
+
+"Ah," said Lady Ingleby, sympathetically, "I quite understand that. It
+would be such a relief all the time to know that if things seemed going
+wrong, you could stop the other part, and give yourself the note."
+
+The only two real musicians present glanced at each other, and a gleam
+of amusement passed between them.
+
+"It certainly would be useful, if necessary," said Jane.
+
+"_I_ would 'stop the other part' and 'give you the note,'" said Garth,
+demurely.
+
+"I am sure you would," said Jane. "You are always so very kind. But I
+prefer to keep the matter in my own hands."
+
+"You realise the difficulty of making the voice carry in a place of
+that size unless you can stand and face the audience?" Garth Dalmain
+spoke anxiously. Jane was a special friend of his, and he had a man's
+dislike of the idea of his chum failing in anything, publicly.
+
+The same quiet smile dawned in Jane's eyes and passed to her lips as
+when she had realised that her aunt meant her to volunteer in Velma's
+place. She glanced around. Most of the party had wandered off in twos
+and threes, some to the house, others back to the river. She and Dal
+and Myra were practically alone. Her calm eyes were full of quiet
+amusement as she steadfastly met the anxious look in Garth's, and
+answered his question.
+
+"Yes, I know. But the acoustic properties of the room are very perfect,
+and I have learned to throw my voice. Perhaps you may not know--in
+fact, how should you know?--but I have had the immense privilege of
+studying with Madame Marchesi in Paris, and of keeping up to the mark
+since by an occasional delightful hour with her no less gifted daughter
+in London. So I ought to know all there is to know about the management
+of a voice, if I have at all adequately availed myself of such golden
+opportunities."
+
+These quiet words were Greek to Myra, conveying no more to her mind
+than if Jane had said: "I have been learning Tonic sol-fa." In fact,
+not quite so much, seeing that Lady Ingleby had herself once tried to
+master the Tonic sol-fa system in order to instruct her men and maids
+in part-singing. It was at a time when she owned a distinctly musical
+household. The second footman possessed a fine barytone. The butler
+could "do a little bass," which is to say that, while the other parts
+soared to higher regions, he could stay on the bottom note if carefully
+placed there, and told to remain. The head housemaid sang what she
+called "seconds"; in other words, she followed along, slightly behind
+the trebles as regarded time, and a major third below them as regarded
+pitch. The housekeeper, a large, dark person with a fringe on her upper
+lip, unshaven and unashamed, produced a really remarkable effect by
+singing the air an octave below the trebles. Unfortunately Lady Ingleby
+was apt to confuse her with the butler. Myra herself was the first to
+admit that she had not "much ear"; but it was decidedly trying, at a
+moment when she dared not remove her eyes from the accompaniment of
+Good King Wenceslas, to have called out: "Stay where you are, Jenkins!"
+and then find it was Mrs. Jarvis who had been travelling upwards. But
+when a new footman, engaged by Lord Ingleby with no reference to his
+musical gifts, chanced to possess a fine throaty tenor, Myra felt she
+really had material with which great things might be accomplished, and
+decided herself to learn the Tonic sol-fa system. She easily mastered
+mi, re, do, and so, fa, fa, mi, because these represented the opening
+lines of Three Blind Mice, always a musical landmark to Myra. But when
+it came to the fugue-like intricacies in the theme of "They all ran
+after the farmer's wife," Lady Ingleby was lost without the words to
+cling to, and gave up the Tonic sol-fa system in despair.
+
+So the name of the greatest teacher of singing of this age did not
+convey much to Myra's mind. But Garth Dalmain sat up.
+
+"I say! No wonder you take it coolly. Why, Velma herself was a pupil of
+the great madame."
+
+"That is how it happens that I know her rather well," said Jane. "I am
+here to-day because I was to have played her accompaniment."
+
+"I see," said Garth. "And now you have to do both. 'Land's sake!' as
+Mrs. Parker Bangs says when you explain who's who at a Marlborough
+House garden party. But you prefer playing other people's
+accompaniments, to singing yourself, don't you?"
+
+Jane's slow smile dawned again.
+
+"I prefer singing," she said, "but accompanying is more useful."
+
+"Of course it is," said Garth. "Heaps of people can sing a little, but
+very few can accompany properly."
+
+"Jane," said Myra, her grey eyes looking out lazily from under their
+long black lashes, "if you have had singing lessons, and know some
+songs, why hasn't the duchess turned you on to sing to us before this?"
+
+"For a sad reason," Jane replied. "You know her only son died eight
+years ago? He was such a handsome, talented fellow. He and I inherited
+our love of music from our grandfather. My cousin got into a musical
+set at college, studied with enthusiasm, and wanted to take it up
+professionally. He had promised, one Christmas vacation, to sing at a
+charity concert in town, and went out, when only just recovering from
+influenza, to fulfil this engagement. He had a relapse, double
+pneumonia set in, and he died in five days from heart failure. My poor
+aunt was frantic with grief; and since then any mention of my love of
+music makes her very bitter. I, too, wanted to take it up
+professionally, but she put her foot down heavily. I scarcely ever
+venture to sing or play here."
+
+"Why not elsewhere?" asked Garth Dalmain. "We have stayed about at the
+same houses, and I had not the faintest idea you sang."
+
+"I do not know," said Jane slowly. "But--music means so much to me. It
+is a sort of holy of holies in the tabernacle of one's inner being. And
+it is not easy to lift the veil."
+
+"The veil will be lifted to-night," said Myra Ingleby.
+
+"Yes," agreed Jane, smiling a little ruefully, "I suppose it will."
+
+"And we shall pass in," said Garth Dalmain.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V
+
+CONFIDENCES
+
+
+The shadows silently lengthened on the lawn.
+
+The home-coming rooks circled and cawed around the tall elm trees.
+
+The sun-dial pointed to six o'clock.
+
+Myra Ingleby rose and stood with the slanting rays of the sun full in
+her eyes, her arms stretched over her head. The artist noted every
+graceful line of her willowy figure.
+
+"Ah, bah!" she yawned. "It is so perfect out here, and I must go in to
+my maid. Jane, be advised in time. Do not ever begin facial massage.
+You become a slave to it, and it takes up hours of your day. Look at
+me."
+
+They were both looking already. Myra was worth looking at.
+
+"For ordinary dressing purposes, I need not have gone in until seven;
+and now I must lose this last, perfect hour."
+
+"What happens?" asked Jane. "I know nothing of the process."
+
+"I can't go into details," replied Lady Ingleby, "but you know how
+sweet I have looked all day? Well, if I did not go to my maid now, I
+should look less sweet by the end of dinner, and at the close of the
+evening I should appear ten years older."
+
+"You would always look sweet," said Jane, with frank sincerity; "and
+why mind looking the age you are?"
+
+"My dear, 'a man is as old as he feels; a woman is as old as she
+looks,'" quoted Myra.
+
+"I FEEL just seven," said Garth.
+
+"And you LOOK seventeen," laughed Myra.
+
+"And I AM twenty-seven," retorted Garth; "so the duchess should not
+call me 'a ridiculous child.' And, dear lady, if curtailing this
+mysterious process is going to make you one whit less lovely to-night,
+I do beseech you to hasten to your maid, or you will spoil my whole
+evening. I shall burst into tears at dinner, and the duchess hates
+scenes, as you very well know!"
+
+Lady Ingleby flapped him with her garden hat as she passed.
+
+"Be quiet, you ridiculous child!" she said. "You had no business to
+listen to what I was saying to Jane. You shall paint me this autumn.
+And after that I will give up facial massage, and go abroad, and come
+back quite old."
+
+She flung this last threat over her shoulder as she trailed away across
+the lawn.
+
+"How lovely she is!" commented Garth, gazing after her. "How much of
+that was true, do you suppose, Miss Champion?"
+
+"I have not the slightest idea," replied Jane. "I am completely
+ignorant on the subject of facial massage."
+
+"Not much, I should think," continued Garth, "or she would not have
+told us."
+
+
+
+"Ah, you are wrong there," replied Jane, quickly. "Myra is
+extraordinarily honest, and always inclined to be frank about herself
+and her foibles. She had a curious upbringing. She is one of a large
+family, and was always considered the black sheep, not so much by her
+brothers and sisters, as by her mother. Nothing she was, or said, or
+did, was ever right. When Lord Ingleby met her, and I suppose saw her
+incipient possibilities, she was a tall, gawky girl, with lovely eyes,
+a sweet, sensitive mouth, and a what-on-earth-am-I-going-to-do-next
+expression on her face. He was twenty years her senior, but fell most
+determinedly in love with her and, though her mother pressed upon him
+all her other daughters in turn, he would have Myra or nobody. When he
+proposed to her it was impossible at first to make her understand what
+he meant. His meaning dawned on her at length, and he was not kept
+waiting long for her answer. I have often heard him tease her about it.
+She looked at him with an adorable smile, her eyes brimming over with
+tears, and said: 'Why, of course. I'll marry you GRATEFULLY, and I
+think it is perfectly sweet of you to like me. But what a blow for
+mamma!' They were married with as little delay as possible, and he took
+her off to Paris, Italy, and Egypt, had six months abroad, and brought
+her back--this! I was staying with them once, and her mother was also
+there. We were sitting in the morning room,--no men, just half a dozen
+women,--and her mother began finding fault about something, and said:
+'Has not Lord Ingleby often told you of it?' Myra looked up in her
+sweet, lazy way and answered: 'Dear mamma, I know it must seem strange
+to you, but, do you know, my husband thinks everything I do perfect.'
+'Your husband is a fool!' snapped her mother. 'From YOUR point of view,
+dear mamma,' said Myra, sweetly."
+
+"Old curmudgeon!" remarked Garth. "Why are people of that sort allowed
+to be called 'mothers'? We, who have had tender, perfect mothers, would
+like to make it law that the other kind should always be called
+'she-parents,' or 'female progenitors,' or any other descriptive title,
+but not profane the sacred name of mother!"
+
+Jane was silent. She knew the beautiful story of Garth's boyhood with
+his widowed mother. She knew his passionate adoration of her sainted
+memory. She liked him best when she got a glimpse beneath the surface,
+and did not wish to check his mood by reminding him that she herself
+had never even lisped that name.
+
+Garth rose from his chair and stretched his slim figure in the slanting
+sun-rays, much as Myra had done. Jane looked at him. As is often the
+case with plain people, great physical beauty appealed to her strongly.
+She only allowed to that appeal its right proportion in her estimation
+of her friends. Garth Dalmain by no means came first among her
+particular chums. He was older than most of them, and yet in some ways
+younger than any, and his remarkable youthfulness of manner and
+exuberance of spirits sometimes made him appear foolish to Jane, whose
+sense of humour was of a more sedate kind. But of the absolute
+perfection of his outward appearance, there was no question; and Jane
+looked at him now, much as his own mother might have looked, with
+honest admiration in her kind eyes.
+
+Garth, notwithstanding the pale violet shirt and dark violet tie, was
+quite unconscious of his own appearance; and, dazzled by the golden
+sunlight, was also unconscious of Jane's look.
+
+"Oh, I say, Miss Champion!" he cried, boyishly. "Isn't it nice that
+they have all gone in? I have been wanting a good jaw with you. Really,
+when we all get together we do drivel sometimes, to keep the ball
+rolling. It is like patting up air-balls; and very often they burst,
+and one realises that an empty, shrivelled little skin is all that is
+left after most conversations. Did you ever buy air-balls at Brighton?
+Do you remember the wild excitement of seeing the man coming along the
+parade, with a huge bunch of them--blue, green, red, white, and yellow,
+all shining in the sun? And one used to wonder how he ever contrived to
+pick them all up--I don't know how!--and what would happen if he put
+them all down. I always knew exactly which one I wanted, and it was
+generally on a very inside string and took a long time to disentangle.
+And how maddening it was if the grown-ups grew tired of waiting, and
+walked on with the penny. Only I would rather have had none, than not
+have the one on which I had fixed my heart. Wouldn't you?"
+
+"I never bought air-balls at Brighton," replied Jane, without
+enthusiasm. Garth was feeling seven again, and Jane was feeling bored.
+
+For once he seemed conscious of this. He took his coat from the back of
+the chair where he had hung it, and put it on.
+
+"Come along, Miss Champion," he said; "I am so tired of doing nothing.
+Let us go down to the river and find a boat or two. Dinner is not until
+eight o'clock, and I am certain you can dress, even for the ROLE of
+Velma, in half an hour. I have known you do it in ten minutes, at a
+pinch. There is ample time for me to row you within sight of the
+minster, and we can talk as we go. Ah, fancy! the grey old minster with
+this sunset behind it, and a field of cowslips in the foreground!"
+
+But Jane did not rise.
+
+"My dear Dal," she said, "you would not feel much enthusiasm for the
+minster or the sunset, after you had pulled my twelve stone odd up the
+river. You would drop exhausted among the cowslips. Surely you might
+know by now that I am not the sort of person to be told off to sit in
+the stern of a tiny skiff and steer. If I am in a boat, I like to row;
+and if I row, I prefer rowing stroke. But I do not want to row now,
+because I have been playing golf the whole afternoon. And you know
+perfectly well it would be no pleasure to you to have to gaze at me all
+the way up and all the way down the river; knowing all the time, that I
+was mentally criticising your stroke and marking the careless way you
+feathered."
+
+
+
+Garth sat down, lay back in his chair, with his arms behind his sleek
+dark head, and looked at her with his soft shining eyes, just as he had
+looked at the duchess.
+
+"How cross you are, old chap," he said, gently. "What is the matter?"
+
+Jane laughed and held out her hand. "Oh, you dear boy! I think you have
+the sweetest temper in the world. I won't be cross any more. The truth
+is, I hate the duchess's concerts, and I don't like being the duchess's
+'surprise-packet.'"
+
+"I see," said Garth, sympathetically. "But, that being so, why did you
+offer?"
+
+"Ah, I had to," said Jane. "Poor old dear! She so rarely asks me
+anything, and her eyes besought. Don't you know how one longs to have
+something to do for some one who belongs to one? I would black her
+boots if she wished it. But it is so hard to stay here, week after
+week, and be kept at arm's length. This one thing she asked of me, and
+her proud old eyes pleaded. Could I refuse?"
+
+Garth was all sympathy. "No, dear," he said thoughtfully; "of course
+you couldn't. And don't bother over that silly joke about the 'surprise
+packet.' You see, you won't be that. I have no doubt you sing vastly
+better than most of them, but they will not realise it. It takes a
+Velma to make such people as these sit up. They will think THE ROSARY a
+pretty song, and give you a mild clap, and there the thing will end. So
+don't worry."
+
+Jane sat and considered this. Then: "Dal," she said, "I do hate singing
+before that sort of audience. It is like giving them your soul to look
+at, and you don't want them to see it. It seems indecent. To my mind,
+music is the most REVEALING thing in the world. I shiver when I think
+of that song, and yet I daren't do less than my best. When the moment
+comes, I shall live in the song, and forget the audience. Let me tell
+you a lesson I once had from Madame Blanche. I was singing Bemberg's
+CHANT HINDOU, the passionate prayer of an Indian woman to Brahma. I
+began: 'BRAHMA! DIEU DES CROYANTS,' and sang it as I might have sung
+'DO, RE, MI.' Brahma was nothing to me. 'Stop!' cried Madame Blanche in
+her most imperious manner. 'Ah, vous Anglais! What are you doing?
+BRAHMA, c'est un Dieu! He may not be YOUR God. He may not be MY God.
+But he is somebody's God. He is the God of the song. Ecoutez!' And she
+lifted her head and sang: 'Brahma! Dieu des croyants! Maitre des cites
+saintes!' with her beautiful brow illumined, and a passion of religious
+fervour which thrilled one's soul. It was a lesson I never forgot. I
+can honestly say I have never sung a song tamely, since."
+
+"Fine!" said Garth Dalmain. "I like enthusiasm in every branch of art.
+I never care to paint a portrait, unless I adore the woman I am
+painting."
+
+Jane smiled. The conversation was turning exactly the way she had hoped
+eventually to lead it.
+
+"Dal, dear," she said, "you adore so many in turn, that we old friends,
+who have your real interest at heart, fear you will never adore to any
+definite purpose."
+
+Garth laughed. "Oh bother!" he said. "Are you like all the rest? Do you
+also think adoration and admiration must necessarily mean marriage. I
+should have expected you to take a saner and more masculine view."
+
+"My dear boy," said Jane, "your friends have decided that you need a
+wife. You are alone in the world. You have a lovely home. You are in a
+fair way to be spoiled by all the silly women who run after you. Of
+course we are perfectly aware that your wife must have every
+incomparable beauty under the sun united in her own exquisite person.
+But each new divinity you see and paint apparently fulfils, for the
+time being, this wondrous ideal; and, perhaps, if you wedded one,
+instead of painting her, she might continue permanently to fulfil it."
+
+Garth considered this in silence, his level brows knitted. At last he
+said: "Beauty is so much a thing of the surface. I see it, and admire
+it. I desire it, and paint it. When I have painted it, I have made it
+my own, and somehow I find I have done with it. All the time I am
+painting a woman, I am seeking for her soul. I want to express it on my
+canvas; and do you know, Miss Champion, I find that a lovely woman does
+not always have a lovely soul."
+
+Jane was silent. The last things she wished to discuss were other
+women's souls.
+
+"There is just one who seems to me perfect," continued Garth. "I am to
+paint her this autumn. I believe I shall find her soul as exquisite as
+her body."
+
+"And she is--?" inquired Jane.
+
+"Lady Brand."
+
+"Flower!" exclaimed Jane. "Are YOU so taken with Flower?"
+
+"Ah, she is lovely," said Garth, with reverent enthusiasm. "It
+positively is not right for any one to be so absolutely flawlessly
+lovely. It makes me ache. Do you know that feeling, Miss Champion, of
+perfect loveliness making you ache?"
+
+"No, I don't," said Jane, shortly. "And I do not think other people's
+wives ought to have that effect upon you."
+
+"My dear old chap," exclaimed Garth, astonished; "it has nothing to do
+with wives or no wives. A wood of bluebells in morning sunshine would
+have precisely the same effect. I ache to paint her. When I have
+painted her and really done justice to that matchless loveliness as I
+see it, I shall feel all right. At present I have only painted her from
+memory; but she is to sit to me in October."
+
+"From memory?" questioned Jane.
+
+"Yes, I paint a great deal from memory. Give me one look of a certain
+kind at a face, let me see it at a moment which lets one penetrate
+beneath the surface, and I can paint that face from memory weeks after.
+Lots of my best studies have been done that way. Ah, the delight of it!
+Beauty--the worship of beauty is to me a religion."
+
+"Rather a godless form of religion," suggested Jane.
+
+"Ah no," said Garth reverently. "All true beauty comes from God, and
+leads back to God. 'Every good gift and every perfect gift is from
+above, and cometh down from the Father of lights.' I once met an old
+freak who said all sickness came from the devil. I never could believe
+that, for my mother was an invalid during the last years of her life,
+and I can testify that her sickness was a blessing to many, and borne
+to the glory of God. But I am, convinced all true beauty is God-given,
+and that is why the worship of beauty is to me a religion. Nothing bad
+was ever truly beautiful; nothing good is ever really ugly."
+
+Jane smiled as she watched him, lying back in the golden sunlight, the
+very personification of manly beauty. The absolute lack of
+self-consciousness, either for himself or for her, which allowed him to
+talk thus to the plainest woman of his acquaintance, held a vein of
+humour which diverted Jane. It appealed to her more than buying
+coloured air-balls, or screaming because the duchess wore a mushroom
+hat.
+
+"Then are plain people to be denied their share of goodness, Dal?" she
+asked.
+
+"Plainness is not ugliness," replied Garth Dalmain simply. "I learned
+that when quite a small boy. My mother took me to hear a famous
+preacher. As he sat on the platform during the preliminaries he seemed
+to me quite the ugliest man I had ever seen. He reminded me of a
+grotesque gorilla, and I dreaded the moment when he should rise up and
+face us and give out a text. It seemed to me there ought to be bars
+between, and that we should want to throw nuts and oranges. But when he
+rose to speak, his face was transfigured. Goodness and inspiration
+shone from it, making it as the face of an angel. I never again thought
+him ugly. The beauty of his soul shone through, transfiguring his body.
+Child though I was, I could differentiate even then between ugliness
+and plainness. When he sat down at the close of his magnificent sermon,
+I no longer thought him a complicated form of chimpanzee. I remembered
+the divine halo of his smile. Of course his actual plainness of feature
+remained. It was not the sort of face one could have wanted to live
+with, or to have day after day opposite to one at table. But then one
+was not called to that sort of discipline, which would have been
+martyrdom to me. And he has always stood to my mind since as a proof of
+the truth that goodness is never ugly; and that divine love and
+aspiration shining through the plainest features may redeem them
+temporarily into beauty; and, permanently, into a thing one loves to
+remember."
+
+"I see," said Jane. "It must have often helped you to a right view to
+have realised that so long ago. But now let us return to the important
+question of the face which you ARE to have daily opposite you at table.
+It cannot be Lady Brand's, nor can it be Myra's; but, you know, Dal, a
+very lovely one is being suggested for the position."
+
+"No names, please," said Garth, quickly. "I object to girls' names
+being mentioned in this sort of conversation."
+
+"Very well, dear boy. I understand and respect your objection. You have
+made her famous already by your impressionist portrait of her, and I
+hear you are to do a more elaborate picture 'in the fall.' Now, Dal,
+you know you admire her immensely. She is lovely, she is charming, she
+hails from the land whose women, when they possess charm, unite with it
+a freshness and a piquancy which place them beyond compare. In some
+ways you are so unique yourself that you ought to have a wife with a
+certain amount of originality. Now, I hardly know how far the opinion
+of your friends would influence you in such a matter, but you may like
+to hear how fully they approve your very open allegiance to--shall we
+say--the beautiful 'Stars and Stripes'?"
+
+Garth Dalmain took out his cigarette case, carefully selected a
+cigarette, and sat with it between his fingers in absorbed
+contemplation.
+
+"Smoke," said Jane.
+
+"Thanks," said Garth. He struck a match and very deliberately lighted
+his cigarette. As he flung away the vesta the breeze caught it and it
+fell on the lawn, flaming brightly. Garth sprang up and extinguished
+it, then drew his chair more exactly opposite to Jane's and lay back,
+smoking meditatively, and watching the little rings he blew, mount into
+the cedar branches, expand, fade, and vanish.
+
+Jane was watching him. The varied and characteristic ways in which her
+friends lighted and smoked their cigarettes always interested Jane.
+There were at least a dozen young men of whom she could have given the
+names upon hearing a description of their method. Also, she had learned
+from Deryck Brand the value of silences in an important conversation,
+and the art of not weakening a statement by a postscript.
+
+At last Garth spoke.
+
+"I wonder why the smoke is that lovely pale blue as it curls up from
+the cigarette, and a greyish-white if one blows it out."
+
+Jane knew it was because it had become impregnated with moisture, but
+she did not say so, having no desire to contribute her quota of pats to
+this air-ball, or to encourage the superficial workings of his mind
+just then. She quietly awaited the response to her appeal to his deeper
+nature which she felt certain would be forthcoming. Presently it came.
+
+"It is awfully good of you, Miss Champion, to take the trouble to think
+all this and to say it to me. May I prove my gratitude by explaining
+for once where my difficulty lies? I have scarcely defined it to
+myself, and yet I believe I can express it to you." Another long
+silence. Garth smoked and pondered.
+
+Jane waited. It was a very comprehending, very companionable silence.
+Garth found himself parodying the last lines of an old
+sixteenth-century song:
+
+    "Then ever pray that heaven may send
+     Such weeds, such chairs, and such a friend."
+
+Either the cigarette, or the chair, or Jane, or perhaps all three
+combined were producing in him a sublime sense of calm, and rest, and
+well-being; an uplifting of spirit which made all good things seem
+better; all difficult things, easy; and all ideals, possible. The
+silence, like the sunset, was golden; but at last he broke it.
+
+"Two women--the only two women who have ever really been in my
+life--form for me a standard below which I cannot fall,--one, my
+mother, a sacred and ideal memory; the other, old Margery Graem, my
+childhood's friend and nurse, now my housekeeper and general tender and
+mender. Her faithful heart and constant remembrance help to keep me
+true to the ideal of that sweet presence which faded from beside me
+when I stood on the threshold of manhood. Margery lives at Castle
+Gleneesh. When I return home, the sight which first meets my eyes as
+the hall door opens is old Margery in her black satin apron, lawn
+kerchief, and lavender ribbons. I always feel seven then, and I always
+hug her. You, Miss Champion, don't like me when I feel seven; but
+Margery does. Now, this is what I want you to realise. When I bring a
+bride to Gleneesh and present her to Margery, the kind old eyes will
+try to see nothing but good; the faithful old heart will yearn to love
+and serve. And yet I shall know she knows the standard, just as I know
+it; I shall know she remembers the ideal of gentle, tender, Christian
+womanhood, just as I remember it; and I must not, I dare not, fall
+short. Believe me, Miss Champion, more than once, when physical
+attraction has been strong, and I have been tempted in the worship of
+the outward loveliness to disregard or forget the essentials,--the
+things which are unseen but eternal,--then, all unconscious of
+exercising any such influence, old Margery's clear eyes look into mine,
+old Margery's mittened hand seems to rest upon my coat sleeve, and the
+voice which has guided me from infancy, says, in gentle astonishment:
+`Is this your choice, Master Garthie, to fill my dear lady's place?' No
+doubt, Miss Champion, it will seem almost absurd to you when you think
+of our set and our sentiments, and the way we racket round that I
+should sit here on the duchess's lawn and confess that I have been held
+back from proposing marriage to the women I have most admired, because
+of what would have been my old nurse's opinion of them! But you must
+remember her opinion is formed by a memory, and that memory is the
+memory of my dead mother. Moreover, Margery voices my best self, and
+expresses my own judgment when it is not blinded by passion or warped
+by my worship of the beautiful. Not that Margery would disapprove of
+loveliness; in fact, she would approve of nothing else for me, I know
+very well. But her penetration rapidly goes beneath the surface.
+According to one of Paul's sublime paradoxes, she looks at the things
+that are not seen. It seems queer that I can tell you all this, Miss
+Champion, and really it is the first time I have actually formulated it
+in my own mind. But I think it so extremely friendly of you to have
+troubled to give me good advice in the matter."
+
+Garth Dalmain ceased speaking, and the silence which followed suddenly
+assumed alarming proportions, seeming to Jane like a high fence which
+she was vainly trying to scale. She found herself mentally rushing
+hither and thither, seeking a gate or any possible means of egress. And
+still she was confronted by the difficulty of replying adequately to
+the totally unexpected. And what added to her dumbness was the fact
+that she was infinitely touched by Garth's confession; and when Jane
+was deeply moved speech always became difficult. That this young
+man--adored by all the girls for his good looks and delightful manners;
+pursued for his extreme eligibility by mothers and chaperons; famous
+already in the world of art; flattered, courted, sought after in
+society--should calmly admit that the only woman really left IN his
+life was his old nurse, and that her opinion and expectations held him
+back from a worldly, or unwise marriage, touched Jane deeply, even
+while in her heart she smiled at what their set would say could they
+realise the situation. It revealed Garth in a new light; and suddenly
+Jane understood him, as she had not understood him before.
+
+And yet the only reply she could bring herself to frame was: "I wish I
+knew old Margery."
+
+Garth's brown eyes flashed with pleasure.
+
+"Ah, I wish you did," he said. "And I should like you to see Castle
+Gleneesh. You would enjoy the view from the terrace, sheer into the
+gorge, and away across the purple hills. And I think you would like the
+pine woods and the moor. I say, Miss Champion, why should not _I_ get
+up a 'best party' in September, and implore the duchess to come and
+chaperon it? And then you could come, and any one else you would like
+asked. And--and, perhaps--we might ask--the beautiful 'Stars and
+Stripes,' and her aunt, Mrs. Parker Bangs of Chicago; and then we
+should see what Margery thought of her!"
+
+"Delightful!" said Jane. "I would come with pleasure. And really, Dal,
+I think that girl has a sweet nature. Could you do better? The exterior
+is perfect, and surely the soul is there. Yes, ask us all, and see what
+happens."
+
+"I will," cried Garth, delighted. "And what will Margery think of Mrs.
+Parker Bangs?"
+
+"Never mind," said Jane decidedly. "When you marry the niece, the aunt
+goes back to Chicago."
+
+"And I wish her people were not millionaires."
+
+"That can't be helped," said Jane. "Americans are so charming, that we
+really must not mind their money."
+
+"I wish Miss Lister and her aunt were here," remarked Garth. "But they
+are to be at Lady Ingleby's, where I am due next Tuesday. Do you come
+on there, Miss Champion?"
+
+"I do," replied Jane. "I go to the Brands for a few days on Tuesday,
+but I have promised Myra to turn up at Shenstone for the week-end. I
+like staying there. They are such a harmonious couple."
+
+"Yes," said Garth, "but no one could help being a harmonious couple,
+who had married Lady Ingleby."
+
+"What grammar!" laughed Jane. "But I know what you mean, and I am glad
+you think so highly of Myra. She is a dear! Only do make haste and
+paint her and get her off your mind, so as to be free for Pauline
+Lister."
+
+The sun-dial pointed to seven o'clock. The rooks had circled round the
+elms and dropped contentedly into their nests.
+
+"Let us go in," said Jane, rising. "I am glad we have had this talk,"
+she added, as he walked beside her across the lawn.
+
+"Yes," said Garth. "Air-balls weren't in it! It was a football this
+time--good solid leather. And we each kicked one goal,--a tie, you
+know. For your advice went home to me, and I think my reply showed you
+the true lie of things; eh, Miss Champion?"
+
+He was feeling seven again; but Jane saw him now through old Margery's
+glasses, and it did not annoy her.
+
+"Yes," she said, smiling at him with her kind, true eyes; "we will
+consider it a tie, and surely it will prove a tie to our friendship.
+Thank you, Dal, for all you have told me."
+
+Arrived in her room, Jane found she had half an hour to spare before
+dressing. She took out her diary. Her conversation with Garth Dalmain
+seemed worth recording, particularly his story of the preacher whose
+beauty of soul redeemed the ugliness of his body. She wrote it down
+verbatim.
+
+Then she rang for her maid, and dressed for dinner, and the concert
+which should follow.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI
+
+THE VEIL IS LIFTED
+
+
+"MISS CHAMPION! Oh, here you are! Your turn next, please. The last item
+of the local programme is in course of performance, after which the
+duchess explains Velma's laryngitis--let us hope she will not call it
+'appendicitis'--and then I usher you up. Are you ready?"
+
+Garth Dalmain, as master of ceremonies, had sought Jane Champion on the
+terrace, and stood before her in the soft light of the hanging Chinese
+lanterns. The crimson rambler in his button-hole, and his red silk
+socks, which matched it, lent an artistic touch of colour to the
+conventional black and white of his evening clothes.
+
+Jane looked up from the comfortable depths of her wicker chair; then
+smiled at his anxious face.
+
+"I am ready," she said, and rising, walked beside him. "Has it gone
+well?" she asked. "Is it a good audience?"
+
+"Packed," replied Garth, "and the duchess has enjoyed herself. It has
+been funnier than usual. But now comes the event of the evening. I say,
+where is your score?"
+
+"Thanks," said Jane. "I shall play it from memory. It obviates the
+bother of turning over."
+
+They passed into the concert-room and stood behind screens and a
+curtain, close to the half-dozen steps leading, from the side, up on to
+the platform.
+
+"Oh, hark to the duchess!" whispered Garth. "My NIECE, JANE CHAMPION,
+HAS KINDLY CONSENTED TO STEP INTO THE BREACH--' Which means that you
+will have to step up on to that platform in another half-minute. Really
+it would be kinder to you if she said less about Velma. But never mind;
+they are prepared to like anything. There! APPENDICITIS! I told you so.
+Poor Madame Velma! Let us hope it won't get into the local papers. Oh,
+goodness! She is going to enlarge on new-fangled diseases. Well, it
+gives us a moment's breathing space.... I say, Miss Champion, I was
+chaffing this afternoon about sharps and flats. I can play that
+accompaniment for you if you like. No? Well, just as you think best.
+But remember, it takes a lot of voice to make much effect in this
+concert-room, and the place is crowded. Now--the duchess has done. Come
+on. Mind the bottom step. Hang it all! How dark it is behind this
+curtain!"
+
+Garth gave her his hand, and Jane mounted the steps and passed into
+view of the large audience assembled in the Overdene concert-room. Her
+tall figure seemed taller than usual as she walked alone across the
+rather high platform. She wore a black evening gown of soft material,
+with old lace at her bosom and one string of pearls round her neck.
+When she appeared, the audience gazed at her and applauded doubtfully.
+Velma's name on the programme had raised great expectations; and here
+was Miss Champion, who certainly played very nicely, but was not
+supposed to be able to sing, volunteering to sing Velma's song. A more
+kindly audience would have cheered her to the echo, voicing its
+generous appreciation of her effort, and sanguine expectation of her
+success. This audience expressed its astonishment, in the dubiousness
+of its faint applause.
+
+Jane smiled at them good-naturedly; sat down at the piano, a Bechstein
+grand; glanced at the festoons of white roses and the cross of crimson
+ramblers; then, without further preliminaries, struck the opening chord
+and commenced to sing.
+
+The deep, perfect voice thrilled through the room.
+
+A sudden breathless hush fell upon the audience.
+
+Each syllable penetrated the silence, borne on a tone so tender and so
+amazingly sweet, that casual hearts stood still and marvelled at their
+own emotion; and those who felt deeply already, responded with a yet
+deeper thrill to the magic of that music.
+
+  "The hours I spent with thee, dear heart,
+    Are as a string of pearls to me;
+   I count them over, ev'ry one apart,
+    My rosary,--my rosary."
+
+Softly, thoughtfully, tenderly, the last two words were breathed into
+the silence, holding a world of reminiscence--a large-hearted woman's
+faithful remembrance of tender moments in the past.
+
+The listening crowd held its breath. This was not a song. This was the
+throbbing of a heart; and it throbbed in tones of such sweetness, that
+tears started unbidden.
+
+Then the voice, which had rendered the opening lines so quietly, rose
+in a rapid crescendo of quivering pain.
+
+  "Each hour a pearl, each pearl a prayer,
+    To still a heart in absence wrung;
+   I tell each bead unto the end, and there--
+    A cross is hung!"
+
+The last four words were given with a sudden power and passion which
+electrified the assembly. In the pause which followed, could be heard
+the tension of feeling produced. But in another moment the quiet voice
+fell soothingly, expressing a strength of endurance which would fail in
+no crisis, nor fear to face any depths of pain; yet gathering to itself
+a poignancy of sweetness, rendered richer by the discipline of
+suffering.
+
+  "O memories that bless and burn!
+    O barren gain and bitter loss!
+   I kiss each bead, and strive at last to learn
+    To kiss the cross ... to kiss the cross."
+
+Only those who have heard Jane sing THE ROSARY can possibly realise how
+she sang "I KISS EACH BEAD." The lingering retrospection in each word;
+breathed out a love so womanly, so beautiful, so tender, that her
+identity was forgotten--even by those in the audience who knew her
+best--in the magic of her rendering of the song.
+
+The accompaniment, which opens with a single chord, closes with a
+single note.
+
+Jane struck it softly, lingeringly; then rose, turned from the piano,
+and was leaving the platform, when a sudden burst of wild applause
+broke from the audience. Jane hesitated, paused, looked at her aunt's
+guests as if almost surprised to find them there. Then the slow smile
+dawned in her eyes and passed to her lips. She stood in the centre of
+the platform for a moment, awkwardly, almost shyly; then moved on as
+men's voices began to shout "Encore! 'core!" and left the platform by
+the side staircase.
+
+But there, behind the scenes, in the semi-darkness of screens and
+curtains, a fresh surprise awaited Jane, more startling than the
+enthusiastic tumult of her audience.
+
+At the foot of the staircase stood Garth Dalmain. His face was
+absolutely colourless, and his eyes shone out from it like burning
+stars. He remained motionless until she stepped from the last stair and
+stood close to him. Then with a sudden movement he caught her by the
+shoulders and turned her round.
+
+"Go back!" he said, and the overmastering need quivering in his voice
+drew Jane's eyes to his in mute astonishment. "Go back at once and sing
+it all over again, note for note, word for word, just as before. Ah,
+don't stand here waiting! Go back now! Go back at once! Don't you know
+that you MUST?"
+
+Jane looked into those shining eyes. Something she saw in them excused
+the brusque command of his tone. Without a word, she quietly mounted
+the steps and walked across the platform to the piano. People were
+still applauding, and redoubled their demonstrations of delight as she
+appeared; but Jane took her seat at the instrument without giving them
+a thought.
+
+She was experiencing a very curious and unusual sensation. Never before
+in her whole life had she obeyed a peremptory command. In her
+childhood's days, Fraulein and Miss Jebb soon found out that they could
+only obtain their desires by means of carefully worded requests, or
+pathetic appeals to her good feelings and sense of right. An
+unreasonable order, or a reasonable one unexplained, promptly met with
+a point-blank refusal. And this characteristic still obtained, though
+modified by time; and even the duchess, as a rule, said "please" to
+Jane.
+
+But now a young man with a white face and blazing eyes had
+unceremoniously swung her round, ordered her up the stairs, and
+commanded her to sing a song over again, note for note, word for word,
+and she was meekly going to obey.
+
+As she took her seat, Jane suddenly made up her mind not to sing The
+Rosary again. She had many finer songs in her repertoire. The audience
+expected another. Why should she disappoint those expectations because
+of the imperious demands of a very highly excited boy?
+
+She commenced the magnificent prelude to Handel's "Where'er you walk,"
+but, as she played it, her sense of truth and justice intervened. She
+had not come back to sing again at the bidding of a highly excited boy,
+but of a deeply moved man; and his emotion was of no ordinary kind.
+That Garth Dalmain should have been so moved as to forget even
+momentarily his punctilious courtesy of manner, was the highest
+possible tribute to her art and to her song. While she played the
+Handel theme--and played it so that a whole orchestra seemed marshalled
+upon the key-board under those strong, firm finger--she suddenly
+realised, though scarcely understanding it, the MUST of which Garth had
+spoken, and made up her mind to yield to its necessity. So; when the
+opening bars were ended, instead of singing the grand song from Semele
+she paused for a moment; struck once more The Rosary's; opening chord;
+and did as Garth had bidden her to do.
+
+  "The hours I spent with thee, dear heart,
+    Are as a string of pearls to me;
+   I count them over, ev'ry one apart,
+    My rosary,--my rosary.
+  "Each hour a pearl, each pearl a prayer,
+    To still a heart in absence wrung;
+   I tell each bead unto the end, and there--
+    A cross is hung!
+  "O memories that bless and burn!
+    O barren gain and bitter loss!
+   I kiss each bead, and strive at last to learn
+    To kiss the cross ... to kiss the cross."
+
+When Jane left the platform, Garth was still standing motionless at the
+foot of the stairs. His face was just as white as before, but his eyes
+had lost that terrible look of unshed tears, which had sent her back,
+at his bidding, without a word of question or remonstrance. A wonderful
+light now shone in them; a light of adoration, which touched Jane's
+heart because she had never before seen anything quite like it. She
+smiled as she came slowly down the steps, and held out both hands to
+him with an unconscious movement of gracious friendliness. Garth
+stepped close to the bottom of the staircase and took them in his,
+while she was still on the step above him.
+
+For a moment he did not speak. Then in a low voice, vibrant with
+emotion: "My God!" he said, "Oh, my God!"
+
+"Hush," said Jane; "I never like to hear that name spoken lightly, Dal."
+
+"Spoken lightly!" he exclaimed. "No speaking lightly would be possible
+for me to-night. 'Every perfect gift is from above.' When words fail me
+to speak of the gift, can you wonder if I apostrophise the Giver?"
+
+Jane looked steadily into his shining eyes, and a smile of pleasure
+illumined her own. "So you liked my song?" she said.
+
+"Liked--liked your song?" repeated Garth, a shade of perplexity
+crossing his face. "I do not know whether I liked your song."
+
+"Then why this flattering demonstration?" inquired Jane, laughing.
+
+"Because," said Garth, very low, "you lifted the veil, and I--I passed
+within."
+
+He was still holding her hands in his; and, as he spoke the last two
+words, he turned them gently over and, bending, kissed each palm with
+an indescribably tender reverence; then, loosing them, stood on one
+side, and Jane went out on to the terrace alone.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII
+
+GARTH FINDS HIS ROSARY
+
+
+Jane spent but a very few minutes in the drawing-room that evening. The
+fun in progress there was not to her taste, and the praises heaped upon
+herself annoyed her. Also she wanted the quiet of her own room in order
+to think over that closing episode of the concert, which had taken
+place between herself and Garth, behind the scenes. She did not feel
+certain how to take it. She was conscious that it held an element which
+she could not fathom, and Garth's last act had awakened in herself
+feelings which she did not understand. She extremely disliked the way
+in which he had kissed her hands; and yet he had put into the action
+such a passion of reverent worship that it gave her a sense of
+consecration--of being, as it were, set apart to minister always to the
+hearts of men in that perfect gift of melody which should uplift and
+ennoble. She could not lose the sensation of the impress of his lips
+upon the palms of her hands. It was as if he had left behind something
+tangible and abiding. She caught herself looking at them anxiously once
+or twice, and the third time this happened she determined to go to her
+room.
+
+The duchess was at the piano, completely hidden from view by nearly the
+whole of her house party, crowding round in fits of delighted laughter.
+Ronnie had just broken through from the inmost circle to fetch an
+antimacassar; and Billy, to dash to the writing-table for a sheet of
+note-paper. Jane knew the note-paper meant a clerical dog collar, and
+she concluded something had been worn which resembled an antimacassar.
+
+She turned rather wearily and moved towards the door. Quiet and
+unobserved though her retreat had been, Garth was at the door before
+her. She did not know how he got there; for, as she turned to leave the
+room, she had seen his sleek head close to Myra Ingleby's on the
+further side of the duchess's crowd. He opened the door and Jane passed
+out. She felt equally desirous of saying two things to him,--either:
+"How dared you behave in so unconventional a way?" or: "Tell me just
+what you want me to do, and I will do it."
+
+She said neither.
+
+Garth followed her into the hall, lighted a candle, and threw the match
+at Tommy; then handed her the silver candlestick. He was looking
+absurdly happy. Jane felt annoyed with him for parading this gladness,
+which she had unwittingly caused and in which she had no share. Also
+she felt she must break this intimate silence. It was saying so much
+which ought not to be said, since it could not be spoken. She took her
+candle rather aggressively and turned upon the second step.
+
+"Good-night, Dal," she said. "And do you know that you are missing the
+curate?"
+
+He looked up at her. His eyes shone in the light of her candle.
+
+"No," he said. "I am neither missing nor missed. I was only waiting in
+there until you went up. I shall not go back. I am going out into the
+park now to breathe in the refreshing coolness of the night breeze. And
+I am going to stand under the oaks and tell my beads. I did not know I
+had a rosary, until to-night, but I have--I have!"
+
+"I should say you have a dozen," remarked Jane, dryly.
+
+"Then you would be wrong," replied Garth. "I have just one. But it has
+many hours. I shall be able to call them all to mind when I get out
+there alone. I am going to 'count each pearl.'"
+
+"How about the cross?" asked Jane.
+
+"I have not reached that yet," answered Garth. "There is no cross to my
+rosary."
+
+"I fear there is a cross to every true rosary, Dal," said Jane gently,
+"and I also fear it will go hard with you when you find yours."
+
+But Garth was confident and unafraid.
+
+"When I find mine," he said, "I hope I shall be able to"--
+Involuntarily Jane looked at her hands. He saw the look and smiled,
+though he had the grace to colour beneath his tan,--"to FACE the
+cross," he said.
+
+Jane turned and began to mount the stairs; but Garth arrested her with
+an eager question.
+
+"Just one moment, Miss Champion! There is something I want to ask you.
+May I? Will you think me impertinent, presuming, inquisitive?"
+
+"I have no doubt I shall," said Jane. "But I am thinking you all sorts
+of unusual things to-night; so three adjectives more or less will not
+matter much. You may ask."
+
+"Miss Champion, have YOU a rosary?"
+
+Jane looked at him blankly; then suddenly understood the drift of his
+question.
+
+"My dear boy, NO!" she said. "Thank goodness, I have kept clear of
+'memories that bless and burn.' None of these things enter into my
+rational and well-ordered life, and I have no wish that they should."
+
+"Then," deliberated Garth, "how came you to sing THE ROSARY as if each
+line were your own experience; each joy or pain a thing--long passed,
+perhaps--but your own?"
+
+"Because," explained Jane, "I always live in a song when I sing it. Did
+I not tell you the lesson I learned over the CHANT HINDOU? Therefore I
+had a rosary undoubtedly when I was singing that song to-night. But,
+apart from that, in the sense you mean, no, thank goodness, I have
+none."
+
+Garth mounted two steps, bringing his eyes on a level with the
+candlestick.
+
+"But IF you cared," he said, speaking very low, "that is how you would
+care? that is as you would feel?"
+
+Jane considered. "Yes," she said, "IF I cared, I suppose I should care
+just so, and feel as I felt during those few minutes."
+
+"Then it was YOU in the song, although the circumstances are not yours?"
+
+"Yes, I suppose so," Jane replied, "if we can consider ourselves apart
+from our circumstances. But surely this is rather an unprofitable
+'air-ball.' Goodnight, 'Master Garthie!'"
+
+"I say, Miss Champion! Just one thing more. Will you sing for me
+to-morrow? Will you come to the music-room and sing all the lovely
+things I want to hear? And will you let me play a few of your
+accompaniments? Ah, promise you will come. And promise to sing whatever
+I ask, and I won't bother you any more now."
+
+He stood looking up at her, waiting for her promise, with such
+adoration shining in his eyes that Jane was startled and more than a
+little troubled. Then suddenly it seemed to her that she had found the
+key, and she hastened to explain it to herself and to him.
+
+"Oh, you dear boy!" she said. "What an artist you are! And how
+difficult it is for us commonplace, matter-of-fact people to understand
+the artistic temperament. Here you go, almost turning my steady old
+head by your rapture over what seemed to you perfection of sound which
+has reached you through the ear; just as, again and again, you worship
+at the shrine of perfection of form, which reaches you through the eye.
+I begin to understand how it is you turn the heads of women when you
+paint them. However, you are very delightful in your delight, and I
+want to go up to bed. So I promise to sing all you want and as much as
+you wish to-morrow. Now keep your promise and don't bother me any more
+to-night. Don't spend the whole night in the park, and try not to
+frighten the deer. No, I do not need any assistance with my candle, and
+I am quite used to going upstairs by myself, thank you. Can't you hear
+what personal and appropriate remarks Tommy is making down there? Now
+do run away, Master Garthie, and count your pearls. And if you suddenly
+come upon a cross--remember, the cross can, in all probability, be
+persuaded to return to Chicago!"
+
+Jane was still smiling as she entered her room and placed her
+candlestick on the dressing-table.
+
+Overdene was lighted solely by lamps and candles. The duchess refused
+to modernise it by the installation of electric light. But candles
+abounded, and Jane, who liked a brilliant illumination, proceeded to
+light both candles in the branches on either side of the dressing-table
+mirror, and in the sconces on the wall beside the mantelpiece, and in
+the tall silver candlesticks upon the writing-table. Then she seated
+herself in a comfortable arm-chair, reached for her writing-case, took
+out her diary and a fountain pen, and prepared to finish the day's
+entry. She wrote, "SANG 'THE ROSARY' AT AUNT 'GINA'S CONCERT IN PLACE
+OF VELMA, FAILED (LARYNGITIS)," and came to a full stop.
+
+Somehow the scene with Garth was difficult to record, and the
+sensations which still remained therefrom, absolutely unwritable. Jane
+sat and pondered the situation, content to allow the page to remain
+blank.
+
+Before she rose, locked her book, and prepared for rest, she had, to
+her own satisfaction, clearly explained the whole thing. Garth's
+artistic temperament was the basis of the argument; and, alas, the
+artistic temperament is not a very firm foundation, either for a
+theory, or for the fabric of a destiny. However, FAUTE DE MIEUX, Jane
+had to accept it as main factor in her mental adjustment, thus: This
+vibrant emotion in Garth, so strangely disturbing to her own solid
+calm, was in no sense personal to herself, excepting in so far as her
+voice and musical gifts were concerned. Just as the sight of paintable
+beauty crazed him with delight, making him wild with alternate hope and
+despair until he obtained his wish and had his canvas and his sitter
+arranged to his liking; so now, his passion for the beautiful had been
+awakened, this time through the medium, not of sight, but of sound.
+When she had given him his fill of song, and allowed him to play some
+of her accompaniments, he would be content, and that disquieting look
+of adoration would pass from those beautiful brown eyes. Meanwhile it
+was pleasant to look forward to to-morrow, though it behooved her to
+remember that all this admiration had in it nothing personal to
+herself. He would have gone into even greater raptures over Madame
+Blanche, for instance, who had the same timbre of voice and method of
+singing, combined with a beauty of person which delighted the eye the
+while her voice enchanted the ear. Certainly Garth must see and hear
+her, as music appeared to mean so much to him. Jane began planning
+this, and then her mind turned to Pauline Lister, the lovely American
+girl, whose name had been coupled with Garth Dalmain's all the season.
+Jane felt certain she was just the wife he needed. Her loveliness would
+content him, her shrewd common-sense and straightforward, practical
+ways would counterbalance his somewhat erratic temperament, and her
+adaptability would enable her to suit herself to his surroundings, both
+in his northern home and amongst his large circle of friends down
+south. Once married, he would give up raving about Flower and Myra, and
+kissing people's hands in that--"absurd way," Jane was going to say,
+but she was invariably truthful, even in her thoughts, and substituted
+"extraordinary" as the more correct adjective--in that extraordinary
+way.
+
+She sat forward in her chair with her elbows on her knees, and held her
+large hands before her, palms upward, realising again the sensations of
+that moment. Then she pulled herself up sharply. "Jane Champion, don't
+be a fool! You would wrong that dear, beauty-loving boy, more than you
+would wrong yourself, if you took him for one moment seriously. His
+homage to-night was no more personal to you than his appreciation of
+the excellent dinner was personal to Aunt Georgina's chef. In his
+enjoyment of the production, the producer was included; but that was
+all. Be gratified at the success of your art, and do not spoil that
+success by any absurd sentimentality. Now wash your very ungainly hands
+and go to bed." Thus Jane to herself.
+
+      *      *      *      *      *
+
+And under the oaks, with soft turf beneath his feet, stood Garth
+Dalmain, the shy deer sleeping around unconscious of his presence; the
+planets above, hanging like lamps in the deep purple of the sky. And
+he, also, soliloquised.
+
+"I have found her," he said, in low tones of rapture, "the ideal woman,
+the crown of womanhood, the perfect mate for the spirit, soul, and body
+of the man who can win her.--Jane! Jane! Ah, how blind I have been! To
+have known her for years, and yet not realised her to be this. But she
+lifted the veil, and I passed in. Ah grand, noble heart! She will never
+be able to draw the veil again between her soul and mine. And she has
+no rosary. I thank God for that. No other man possesses, or has ever
+possessed, that which I desire more than I ever desired anything upon
+this earth, Jane's love, Jane's tenderness. Ah, what will it mean? 'I
+count each pearl.' She WILL count them some day--her pearls and mine.
+God spare us the cross. Must there be a cross to every true rosary?
+Then God give me the heavy end, and may the mutual bearing of it bind
+us together. Ah, those dear hands! Ah, those true steadfast eyes! ...
+Jane!--Jane! Surely it has always been Jane, though I did not know it,
+blind fool that I have been! But one thing I know: whereas I was blind,
+now I see. And it will always be Jane from this night onward through
+time and-please God--into eternity."
+
+The night breeze stirred his thick dark hair, and his eyes, as he
+raised them, shone in the starlight.
+
+      *      *      *      *      *
+
+And Jane, almost asleep, was roused by the tapping of her blind against
+the casement, and murmured "Anything you wish, Garth, just tell me, and
+I will do it." Then awakening suddenly to the consciousness of what she
+had said, she sat up in the darkness and scolded herself furiously.
+"Oh, you middle-aged donkey! You call yourself staid and sensible, and
+a little flattery from a boy of whom you are fond turns your head
+completely. Come to your senses at once; or leave Overdene by the first
+train in the morning."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII
+
+ADDED PEARLS
+
+
+The days which followed were golden days to Jane. There was nothing to
+spoil the enjoyment of a very new and strangely sweet experience.
+
+Garth's manner the next morning held none of the excitement or outward
+demonstration which had perplexed and troubled her the evening before.
+He was very quiet, and seemed to Jane older than she had ever known
+him. He had very few lapses into his seven-year-old mood, even with the
+duchess; and when someone chaffingly asked him whether he was
+practising the correct deportment of a soon-to-be-married man,
+
+"Yes," said Garth quietly, "I am."
+
+"Will she be at Shenstone?" inquired Ronald; for several of the
+duchess's party were due at Lady Ingleby's for the following week-end.
+
+"Yes," said Garth, "she will."
+
+"Oh, lor'!" cried Billy, dramatically. "Prithee, Benedict, are we to
+take this seriously?"
+
+But Jane who, wrapped in the morning paper, sat near where Garth was
+standing, came out from behind it to look up at him and say, so that
+only he heard it "Oh, Dal, I am so glad! Did you make up your mind last
+night?"
+
+"Yes," said Garth, turning so that he spoke to her alone, "last night."
+
+"Did our talk in the afternoon have something to do with it?"
+
+"No, nothing whatever."
+
+"Was it THE ROSARY?"
+
+He hesitated; then said, without looking at her: "The revelation of THE
+ROSARY? Yes."
+
+To Jane his mood of excitement was now fully explained, and she could
+give herself up freely to the enjoyment of this new phase in their
+friendship, for the hours of music together were a very real delight.
+Garth was more of a musician than she had known, and she enjoyed his
+clean, masculine touch on the piano, unblurred by slur or pedal; more
+delicate than her own, where delicacy was required. What her voice was
+to him during those wonderful hours he did not express in words, for
+after that first evening he put a firm restraint upon his speech. Under
+the oaks he had made up his mind to wait a week before speaking, and he
+waited.
+
+But the new and strangely sweet experience to Jane was that of being
+absolutely first to some one. In ways known only to himself and to her
+Garth made her feel this. There was nothing for any one else to notice,
+and yet she knew perfectly well that she never came into the room
+without his being instantly conscious that she was there; that she
+never left a room, without being at once missed by him. His attentions
+were so unobtrusive and tactful that no one else realised them. They
+called forth no chaff from friends and no "Hoity-toity! What now?" from
+the duchess. And yet his devotion seemed always surrounding her. For
+the first time in her life Jane was made to feel herself FIRST in the
+whole thought of another. It made him seem strangely her own. She took
+a pleasure and pride in all he said, and did, and was; and in the hours
+they spent together in the music-room she learned to know him and to
+understand that enthusiastic beauty-loving, irresponsible nature, as
+she had never understood it before.
+
+The days were golden, and the parting at night was sweet, because it
+gave an added zest to the pleasure of meeting in the morning. And yet
+during these golden days the thought of love, in the ordinary sense of
+the word, never entered Jane's mind. Her ignorance in this matter
+arose, not so much from inexperience, as from too large an experience
+of the travesty of the real thing; an experience which hindered her
+from recognising love itself, now that love in its most ideal form was
+drawing near.
+
+Jane had not come through a dozen seasons without receiving nearly a
+dozen proposals of marriage. An heiress, independent of parents and
+guardians, of good blood and lineage, a few proposals of a certain type
+were inevitable. Middle-aged men--becoming bald and grey; tired of
+racketing about town; with beautiful old country places and an
+unfortunate lack of the wherewithal to keep them up--proposed to the
+Honourable Jane Champion in a business-like way, and the Honourable
+Jane looked them up and down, and through and through, until they felt
+very cheap, and then quietly refused them, in an equally business-like
+way.
+
+Two or three nice boys, whom she had pulled out of scrapes and set on
+their feet again after hopeless croppers, had thought, in a wave of
+maudlin gratitude, how good it would be for a fellow always to have her
+at hand to keep him straight and tell him what he ought to do, don't
+you know? and--er--well, yes--pay his debts, and be a sort of
+mother-who-doesn't scold kind of person to him; and had caught hold of
+her kind hand, and implored her to marry them. Jane had slapped them if
+they ventured to touch her, and recommended them not to be silly.
+
+One solemn proposal she had had quite lately from the bachelor rector
+of a parish adjoining Overdene. He had often inflicted wearisome
+conversations upon her; and when he called, intending to put the
+momentous question, Jane, who was sitting at her writing-table in the
+Overdene drawing-room, did not see any occasion to move from it. If the
+rector became too prosy, she could surreptitiously finish a few notes.
+He sank into a deep arm-chair close to the writing-table, crossed his
+somewhat bandy legs one over the other, made the tips of his fingers
+meet with unctuous accuracy, and intoned the opening sentences of his
+proposition. Jane, sharpening pencils and sorting nibs, apparently only
+caught the drift of what he was saying, for when he had chanted the
+phrase, "Not alone from selfish motives, my dear Miss Champion; but for
+the good of my parish; for the welfare of my flock, for the advancement
+of the work of the church in our midst," Jane opened a despatch-box and
+drew out her cheque-book.
+
+"I shall be delighted to subscribe, Mr. Bilberry," she said. "Is it for
+a font, a pulpit, new hymn-books, or what?"
+
+"My dear lady," said the rector tremulously, "you misunderstand me. My
+desire is to lead you to the altar."
+
+"Dear Mr. Bilberry," said Jane Champion, "that would be quite
+unnecessary. From any part of your church the fact that you need a new
+altar-cloth is absolutely patent to all comers. I will, with the
+greatest pleasure, give you a cheque for ten pounds towards it. I have
+attended your church rather often lately because I enjoy a long, quiet
+walk by myself through the woods. And now I am sure you would like to
+see my aunt before you go. She is in the aviary, feeding her foreign
+birds. If you go out by that window and pass along the terrace to your
+left, you will find the aviary and the duchess. I would suggest the
+advisability of not mentioning this conversation to my aunt. She does
+not approve of elaborate altar-cloths, and would scold us both, and
+insist on the money being spent in providing boots for the school
+children. No, please do not thank me. I am really glad of an
+opportunity of helping on your excellent work in this neighbourhood."
+
+Jane wondered once or twice whether the cheque would be cashed. She
+would have liked to receive it back by post, torn in half; with a few
+wrathful lines of manly indignation. But when it returned to her in due
+course from her bankers, it was indorsed P. BILBERRY, in a neat
+scholarly hand, without even a dash of indignation beneath it; and she
+threw it into the waste-paper basket, with rather a bitter smile.
+
+These were Jane's experiences of offers of marriage. She had never been
+loved for her own sake; she had never felt herself really first in the
+heart and life of another. And now, when the adoring love of a man's
+whole being was tenderly, cautiously beginning to surround and envelop
+her, she did not recognise the reason of her happiness or of his
+devotion. She considered him the avowed lover of another woman, with
+whose youth and loveliness she would not have dreamed of competing; and
+she regarded this closeness of intimacy between herself and Garth as a
+development of a friendship more beautiful than she had hitherto
+considered possible.
+
+Thus matters stood when Tuesday arrived and the Overdene party broke
+up. Jane went to town to spend a couple of days with the Brands. Garth
+went straight to Shenstone, where he had been asked expressly to meet
+Miss Lister and her aunt, Mrs. Parker Bangs. Jane was due at Shenstone
+on Friday for the week-end.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX
+
+LADY INGLEBY'S HOUSE PARTY
+
+
+As Jane took her seat and the train moved out of the London terminus
+she leaned back in her corner with a sigh of satisfaction. Somehow
+these days in town had seemed insufferably long. Jane reviewed them
+thoughtfully, and sought the reason. They had been filled with
+interests and engagements; and the very fact of being in town, as a
+rule, contented her. Why had she felt so restless and dissatisfied and
+lonely?
+
+From force of habit she had just stopped at the railway book-stall for
+her usual pile of literature. Her friends always said Jane could not go
+even the shortest journey without at least half a dozen papers. But now
+they lay unheeded on the seat in front of her. Jane was considering her
+Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and wondering why they had merely
+been weary stepping-stones to Friday. And here was Friday at last, and
+once in the train en route for Shenstone, she began to feel happy and
+exhilarated. What had been the matter with these three days? Flower had
+been charming; Deryck, his own friendly, interesting self; little
+Dicky, delightful; and Baby Blossom, as sweet as only Baby Blossom
+could be. What was amiss?
+
+"I know," said Jane. "Of course! Why did I not realise it before? I had
+too much music during those last days at Overdene; and SUCH music! I
+have been suffering from a surfeit of music, and the miss of it has
+given me this blank feeling of loneliness. No doubt we shall have
+plenty at Myra's, and Dal will be there to clamour for it if Myra fails
+to suggest it."
+
+With a happy little smile of pleasurable anticipation, Jane took up the
+SPECTATOR, and was soon absorbed in an article on the South African
+problem.
+
+Myra met her at the station, driving ponies tandem. A light cart was
+also there for the maid and baggage; and, without losing a moment, Jane
+and her hostess were off along the country lane at a brisk trot.
+
+The fields and woods were an exquisite restful green in the afternoon
+sunshine. Wild roses clustered in the hedges. The last loads of hay
+were being carted in. There was an ecstasy in the songs of the birds
+and a transporting sense of sweetness about all the sights and scents
+of the country, such as Jane had never experienced so vividly before.
+She drew a deep breath and exclaimed, almost involuntarily: "Ah! it is
+good to be here!"
+
+"You dear!" said Lady Ingleby, twirling her whip and nodding in
+gracious response to respectful salutes from the hay-field. "It is a
+comfort to have you! I always feel you are like the bass of a
+tune--something so solid and satisfactory and beneath one in case of a
+crisis. I hate crises. They are so tiring. As I say: Why can't things
+always go on as they are? They are as they were, and they were as they
+will be, if only people wouldn't bother. However, I am certain nothing
+could go far wrong when YOU are anywhere near."
+
+Myra flicked the leader, who was inclined to "sugar," and they flew
+along between the high hedges, brushing lightly against overhanging
+masses of honeysuckle and wild clematis. Jane snatched a spray of the
+clematis, in passing. "'Traveller's joy,'" she said, with that same
+quiet smile of glad anticipation, and put the white blossom in her
+buttonhole.
+
+"Well," continued Lady Ingleby, "my house party is going on quite
+satisfactorily. Oh, and, Jane, there seems no doubt about Dal. How
+pleased I shall be if it comes off under my wing! The American girl is
+simply exquisite, and so vivacious and charming. And Dal has quite
+given up being silly--not that _I_ ever thought him silly, but I know
+YOU did--and is very quiet and pensive; really were it any one but he,
+one would almost say 'dull.' And they roam about together in the most
+approved fashion. I try to get the aunt to make all her remarks to me.
+I am so afraid of her putting Dal off. He is so fastidious. I have
+promised Billy anything, up to the half of my kingdom, if he will sit
+at the feet of Mrs. Parker Bangs and listen to her wisdom, answer her
+questions, and keep her away from Dal. Billy is being so abjectly
+devoted in his attentions to Mrs. Parker Bangs that I begin to have
+fears lest he intends asking me to kiss him; in which case I shall hand
+him over to you to chastise. You manage these boys so splendidly. I
+fully believe Dal will propose to Pauline Lister tonight. I can't
+imagine why he didn't last night. There was a most perfect moon, and
+they went on the lake. What more COULD Dal want?--a lake, and a moon,
+and that lovely girl! Billy took Mrs. Parker Bangs in a double canoe
+and nearly upset her through laughing so much at the things she said
+about having to sit flat on the bottom. But he paddled her off to the
+opposite side of the lake from Dal and her niece, which was all we
+wanted. Mrs. Parker Bangs asked me afterwards whether Billy is a
+widower. Now what do you suppose she meant by that?"
+
+"I haven't the faintest idea," said Jane. "But I am delighted to hear
+about Dal and Miss Lister. She is just the girl for him, and she will
+soon adapt herself to his ways and needs. Besides, Dal MUST have
+flawless loveliness, and really he gets it there."
+
+"He does indeed," said Myra. "You should have seen her last night, in
+white satin, with wild roses in her hair. I cannot imagine why Dal did
+not rave. But perhaps it is a good sign that he should take things more
+quietly. I suppose he is making up his mind."
+
+"No," said Jane. "I believe he did that at Overdene. But it means a lot
+to him. He takes marriage very seriously. Whom have you at Shenstone?"
+
+Lady Ingleby told off a list of names. Jane knew them all.
+
+"Delightful!" she said. "Oh! how glad I am to be here! London has been
+so hot and so dull. I never thought it hot or dull before. I feel a
+renegade. Ah! there is the lovely little church! I want to hear the new
+organ. I was glad your nice parson remembered me and let me have a
+share in it. Has it two manuals or three?"
+
+"Half a dozen I think," said Lady Ingleby, "and you work them up and
+down with your feet. But I judged it wiser to leave them alone when I
+played for the children's service one Sunday. You never know quite what
+will happen if you touch those mechanical affairs."
+
+"Don't you mean the composition pedals?" suggested Jane.
+
+"I dare say I do," said Myra placidly. "Those things underneath, like
+foot-rests, which startle you horribly if you accidentally kick them."
+
+Jane smiled at the thought of how Garth would throw back his head and
+shout, if she told him of this conversation. Lady Ingleby's musical
+remarks always amused her friends.
+
+They passed the village church on the green, ivy-clad, picturesque,
+and, half a minute later, swerved in at the park gates. Myra saw Jane
+glance at the gate-post they had just shaved, and laughed. "A miss is
+as good as a mile," she said, as they dashed up the long drive between
+the elms, "as I told dear mamma, when she expostulated wrathfully with
+me for what she called my 'furious driving' the other day. By the way,
+Jane, dear mamma has been quite CORDIAL lately. By the time I am
+seventy and she is ninety-eight I think she will begin to be almost
+fond of me. Here we are. Do notice Lawson. He is new, and such a nice
+man. He sings so well, and plays the concertina a little, and teaches
+in the Sunday-school, and speaks really quite excellently at temperance
+meetings. He is extremely fond of mowing the lawns, and my maid tells
+me he is studying French with her. The only thing he seems really
+incapable of being, is an efficient butler; which is so unfortunate, as
+I like him far too well ever to part with him. Michael says I have a
+perfectly fatal habit of LIKING PEOPLE, and of encouraging them to do
+the things they do well and enjoy doing, instead of the things they
+were engaged to do. I suppose I have; but I do like my household to be
+happy."
+
+They alighted, and Myra trailed into the hall with a lazy grace which
+gave no indication of the masterly way she had handled her ponies, but
+rather suggested stepping from a comfortable seat in a barouche. Jane
+looked with interest at the man-servant who came forward and deftly
+assisted them. He had not quite the air of a butler but neither could
+she imagine him playing a concertina or haranguing a temperance meeting
+and he acquitted himself quite creditably.
+
+"Oh, that was not Lawson," explained Myra, as she led the way upstairs.
+"I had forgotten. He had to go to the vicarage this afternoon to see
+the vicar about a 'service of song' they are getting up. That was Tom,
+but we call him 'Jephson' in the house. He was one of Michael's stud
+grooms, but he is engaged to one of the housemaids, and I found he so
+very much preferred being in the house, so I have arranged for him to
+understudy Lawson, and he is growing side whiskers. I shall have to
+break it to Michael on his return from Norway. This way, Jane. We have
+put you in the Magnolia room. I knew you would enjoy the view of the
+lake. Oh, I forgot to tell you, a tennis tournament is in progress. I
+must hasten to the courts. Tea will be going on there, under the
+chestnuts. Dal and Ronnie are to play the final for the men's singles.
+It ought to be a fine match. It was to come on at about half-past four.
+Don't wait to do any changings. Your maid and your luggage can't be
+here just yet."
+
+"Thanks," said Jane; "I always travel in country clothes, and have done
+so to-day, as you see. I will just get rid of the railway dust, and
+follow you."
+
+Ten minutes later, guided by sounds of cheering and laughter, Jane made
+her way through the shrubbery to the tennis lawns. The whole of Lady
+Ingleby's house party was assembled there, forming a picturesque group
+under the white and scarlet chestnut-trees. Beyond, on the beautifully
+kept turf of the court, an exciting set was in progress. As she
+approached, Jane could distinguish Garth's slim, agile figure, in white
+flannels and the violet shirt; and young Ronnie, huge and powerful,
+trusting to the terrific force of his cuts and drives to counterbalance
+Garth's keener eye and swifter turn of wrist.
+
+It was a fine game. Garth had won the first set by six to four, and now
+the score stood at five to four in Ronnie's favour; but this game was
+Garth's service, and he was almost certain to win it. The score would
+then be "games all."
+
+Jane walked along the line of garden chairs to where she saw a vacant
+one near Myra. She was greeted with delight, but hurriedly, by the
+eager watchers of the game.
+
+Suddenly a howl went up. Garth had made two faults.
+
+Jane found her chair, and turned her attention to the game. Almost
+instantly shrieks of astonishment and surprise again arose. Garth had
+served INTO the net and OVER the line. Game and set were Ronnie's.
+
+"One all," remarked Billy. "Well! I never saw Dal do THAT before.
+However; it gives us the bliss of watching another set. They are
+splendidly matched. Dal is lightning, and Ronnie thunder."
+
+The players crossed over, Garth rather white beneath his tan. He was
+beyond words vexed with himself for failing in his service, at that
+critical juncture. Not that he minded losing the set; but it seemed to
+him it must be patent to the whole crowd, that it was the sight, out of
+the tail of his eye, of a tall grey figure moving quietly along the
+line of chairs, which for a moment or two set earth and sky whirling,
+and made a confused blur of net and lines. As a matter of fact, only
+one of the onlookers connected Garth's loss of the game with Jane's
+arrival, and she was the lovely girl, seated exactly opposite the net,
+with whom he exchanged a smile and a word as he crossed to the other
+side of the court.
+
+The last set proved the most exciting of the three. Nine hard-fought
+games, five to Garth, four to Ronnie. And now Ronnie was serving, and
+fighting hard to make it games-all. Over and over enthusiastic
+partisans of both shouted "Deuce!" and then when Garth had won the
+"vantage," a slashing over-hand service from Ronnie beat him, and it
+was "deuce" again.
+
+"Don't it make one giddy?" said Mrs. Parker Bangs to Billy, who
+reclined on the sward at her feet. "I should say it has gone on long
+enough. And they must both be wanting their tea. It would have been
+kind in Mr. Dalmain to have let that ball pass, anyway."
+
+"Yes, wouldn't it?" said Billy earnestly. "But you see, Dal is not
+naturally kind. Now, if I had been playing against Ronnie, I should
+have let those over-hand balls of his pass long ago."
+
+"I am sure you would," said Mrs. Parker Bangs, approvingly; while Jane
+leaned over, at Myra's request, and pinched Billy.
+
+Slash went Ronnie's racket. "Deuce! deuce!" shouted half a dozen voices.
+
+"They shouldn't say that," remarked Mrs. Parker Bangs, "even if they
+are mad about it."
+
+Billy hugged his knees, delightedly; looking up at her with an
+expression of seraphic innocence.
+
+"No. Isn't it sad?" he murmured. "I never say naughty words when I
+play. I always say 'Game love.' It sounds so much nicer, I think."
+
+Jane pinched again, but Billy's rapt gaze at Mrs. Parker Bangs
+continued.
+
+"Billy," said Myra sternly, "go into the hall and fetch my scarlet
+sunshade. Yes, I dare say you WILL miss the finish," she added in a
+stern whisper, as he leaned over her chair, remonstrating; "but you
+richly deserve it."
+
+"I have made up my mind what to ask, dear queen," whispered Billy as he
+returned, breathless, three minutes later and laid the parasol in Lady
+Ingleby's lap. "You promised me anything, up to the half of your
+kingdom. I will have the head of Mrs. Parker Bangs in a charger."
+
+"Oh, shut up, Billy!" exclaimed Jane, "and get out of the light! We
+missed that last stroke. What is the score?"
+
+Once again it was Garth's vantage, and once again Ronnie's arm swung
+high for an untakable smasher.
+
+"Play up, Dal!" cried a voice, amid the general hubbub.
+
+Garth knew that dear voice. He did not look in its direction, but he
+smiled. The next moment his arm shot out like a flash of lightning. The
+ball touched ground on Ronnie's side of the net and shot the length of
+the court without rising. Ronnie's wild scoop at it was hopeless. Game
+and set were Garth's.
+
+They walked off the ground together, their rackets under their arms,
+the flush of a well-contested fight on their handsome faces. It had
+been so near a thing that both could sense the thrill of victory.
+
+Pauline Lister had been sitting with Garth's coat on her lap, and his
+watch and chain were in her keeping. He paused a moment to take them up
+and receive her congratulations; then, slipping on his coat, and
+pocketing his watch, came straight to Jane.
+
+"How do you do, Miss Champion?"
+
+His eyes sought hers eagerly; and the welcoming gladness he saw in them
+filled him with certainty and content. He had missed her so unutterably
+during these days. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday had just been weary
+stepping-stones to Friday. It seemed incredible that one person's
+absence could make so vast a difference. And yet how perfect that it
+should be so; and that they should both realise it, now the day had
+come when he intended to tell her how desperately he wanted her always.
+Yes, that they should BOTH realise it--for he felt certain Jane had
+also experienced the blank. A thing so complete and overwhelming as the
+miss of her had been to him could not be one-sided. And how well worth
+the experience of these lonely days if they had thereby learned
+something of what TOGETHER meant, now the words were to be spoken which
+should insure forever no more such partings.
+
+All this sped through Garth's mind as he greeted Jane with that most
+commonplace of English greetings, the everlasting question which never
+receives an answer. But from Garth, at that moment, it did not sound
+commonplace to Jane, and she answered it quite frankly and fully. She
+wanted above all things to tell him exactly how she did; to hear all
+about himself, and compare notes on the happenings of these three
+interminable days; and to take up their close comradeship again,
+exactly where it had left off. Her hand went home to his with that firm
+completeness of clasp, which always made a hand shake with Jane such a
+satisfactory and really friendly thing.
+
+"Very fit, thank you, Dal," she answered. "At least I am every moment
+improving in health and spirits, now I have arrived here at last."
+
+Garth stood his racket against the arm of her chair and deposited
+himself full length on the grass beside her, leaning on his elbow.
+
+"Was anything wrong with London?" he asked, rather low, not looking up
+at her, but at the smart brown shoe, planted firmly on the grass so
+near his hand. "Nothing was wrong with London," replied Jane frankly;
+"it was hot and dusty of course, but delightful as usual. Something was
+wrong with ME; and you will be ashamed of me, Dal, if I confess what it
+was."
+
+Garth did not look up, but assiduously picked little blades of grass
+and laid them in a pattern on Jane's shoe. This conversation would have
+been exactly to the point had they been alone. But was Jane really
+going to announce to the assembled company, in that dear, resonant,
+carrying voice of hers, the sweet secret of their miss of one another?
+
+"Liver?" inquired Mrs. Parker Bangs suddenly.
+
+"Muffins!" exclaimed Billy instantly, and, rushing for them, almost
+shot them into her lap in the haste with which he handed them,
+stumbling headlong over Garth's legs at the same moment.
+
+Jane stared at Mrs. Parker Bangs and her muffins; then looked down at
+the top of Garth's dark head, bent low over the grass.
+
+"I was dull," she said, "intolerably dull. And Dal always says 'only a
+dullard is dull.' But I diagnosed my dulness in the train just now and
+found it was largely his fault. Do you hear, Dal?"
+
+Garth lifted his head and looked at her, realising in that moment that
+it was, after all, possible for a complete and overwhelming experience
+to be one-sided. Jane's calm grey eyes were full of gay friendliness.
+
+"It was your fault, my dear boy," said Jane.
+
+"How so?" queried Garth; and though there was a deep flush on his
+sunburned face, his voice was quietly interrogative.
+
+"Because, during those last days at Overdene, you led me on into a time
+of musical dissipation such as I had never known before, and I missed
+it to a degree which was positively alarming. I began to fear for the
+balance of my well-ordered mind."
+
+"Well," said Myra, coming out from behind her red parasol, "you and Dal
+can have orgies of music here if you want them. You will find a piano
+in the drawing-room and another in the hall, and a Bechstein grand in
+the billiard-room. That is where I hold the practices for the men and
+maids. I could not make up my mind which makers I really preferred,
+Erard, Broadwood, Collard, or Bechstein; so by degrees I collected one
+of each. And after all I think I play best upon the little cottage
+piano we had in the school-room at home. It stands in my boudoir now. I
+seem more accustomed to its notes, or it lends itself better to my way
+of playing."
+
+"Thank you, Myra," said Jane. "I fancy Dal and I will like the
+Bechstein."
+
+"And if you want something really exciting in the way of music,"
+continued Lady Ingleby, "you might attend some of the rehearsals for
+this 'service of song' they are getting up in aid of the organ deficit
+fund. I believe they are attempting great things."
+
+"I would sooner pay off the whole deficit, than go within a mile of a
+'service of song,'" said Jane emphatically.
+
+"Oh, no," put in Garth quickly, noting Myra's look of disappointment.
+"It is so good for people to work off their own debts and earn the
+things they need in their churches. And 'services of song' are
+delightful if well done, as I am sure this will be if Lady Ingleby's
+people are in it. Lawson outlined it to me this morning, and hummed all
+the principal airs. It is highly dramatic. Robinson Crusoe--no, of
+course not! What's the beggar's name? 'Uncle Tom's Cabin'? Yes, I knew
+it was something black. Lawson is Uncle Tom, and the vicar's small
+daughter is to be little Eva. Miss Champion, you will walk down with me
+to the very next rehearsal."
+
+"Shall I?" said Jane, unconscious of how tender was the smile she gave
+him; conscious only that in her own heart was the remembrance of the
+evening at Overdene when she felt so inclined to say to him: "Tell me
+just what you want me to do, and I will do it."
+
+"Pauline will just love to go with you," said Mrs. Parker Bangs. "She
+dotes on rural music."
+
+"Rubbish, aunt!" said Miss Lister, who had slipped into an empty chair
+near Myra. "I agree with Miss Champion about 'services of song,' and I
+don't care for any music but the best."
+
+Jane turned to her quickly, with a cordial smile and her most friendly
+manner. "Ah, but you must come," she said. "We will be victimised
+together. And perhaps Dal and Lawson will succeed in converting us to
+the cult of the 'service of song.' And anyway it will be amusing to
+have Dal explain it to us. He will need the courage of his convictions."
+
+"Talking of something 'really exciting in the way of music,'" said
+Pauline Lister, "we had it on board when we came over. There was a nice
+friendly crowd on board the Arabic, and they arranged a concert for
+half-past eight on the Thursday evening. We were about two hundred
+miles off the coast of Ireland, and when we came up from dinner we had
+run into a dense fog. At eight o'clock they started blowing the
+fog-horn every half-minute, and while the fog-horn was sounding you
+couldn't hear yourself speak. However, all the programmes were printed,
+and it was our last night on board, so they concluded to have the
+concert all the same. Down we all trooped into the saloon, and each
+item of that programme was punctuated by the stentorian BOO of the
+fog-horn every thirty seconds. You never heard anything so cute as the
+way it came in, right on time. A man with a deep bass voice sang ROCKED
+IN THE CRADLE OF THE DEEP, and each time he reached the refrain, 'And
+calm and peaceful is my sle-eep,' BOO went the fog-horn, casting a
+certain amount of doubt on our expectations of peaceful sleep that
+night, anyway. Then a man with a sweet tenor sang OFT IN THE STILLY
+NIGHT, and the fog-horn showed us just how oft, namely, every thirty
+seconds. But the queerest effect of all was when a girl had to play a
+piano-forte solo. It was something of Chopin's, full of runs and trills
+and little silvery notes. She started all right; but when she was
+half-way down the first page, BOO went the fog-horn, a longer blast
+than usual. We saw her fingers flying, and the turning of the page, but
+not a note could we hear; and when the old horn stopped and we could
+hear the piano again, she had reached a place half-way down the second
+page, and we hadn't heard what led to it. My! it was funny. That went
+on all through. She was a plucky girl to stick to it. We gave her a
+good round of applause when she had finished, and the fog-horn joined
+in and drowned us. It was the queerest concert experience I ever had.
+But we all enjoyed it. Only we didn't enjoy that noise keeping right on
+until five o'clock next morning."
+
+Jane had turned in her chair, and listened with appreciative interest
+while the lovely American girl talked, watching, with real delight, her
+exquisite face and graceful gestures, and thinking how Dal must enjoy
+looking at her when she talked with so much charm and animation. She
+glanced down, trying to see the admiration in his eyes; but his head
+was bent, and he was apparently absorbed in the occupation of tracing
+the broguing of her shoes with the long stalk of a chestnut leaf. For a
+moment she watched the slim brown hand, as carefully intent on this
+useless task, as if working on a canvas; then she suddenly withdrew her
+foot, feeling almost vexed with him for his inattention and apparent
+indifference.
+
+Garth sat up instantly. "It must have been awfully funny," he said.
+"And how well you told it. One could hear the fog-horn, and see the
+dismayed faces of the performers. Like an earthquake, a fog-horn is the
+sort of thing you don't ever get used to. It sounds worse every time.
+Let's each tell the funniest thing we remember at a concert. I once
+heard a youth recite Tennyson's Charge of the Light Brigade with much
+dramatic action. But he was extremely nervous, and got rather mixed. In
+describing the attitude of mind of the noble six hundred, he told us
+impressively that it was"
+
+  "'Theirs not to make reply;
+  Theirs not to do or die;
+  Theirs BUT TO REASON WHY.'"
+
+"The tone and action were all right, and I doubt whether many of the
+audience noticed anything wrong with the words."
+
+"That reminds me," said Ronald Ingram, "of quite the funniest thing I
+ever heard. It was at a Thanksgiving service when some of our troops
+returned from South Africa. The proceedings concluded by the singing of
+the National Anthem right through. You recollect how recently we had
+had to make the change of pronoun, and how difficult it was to remember
+not to shout:"
+
+"'Send HER victorious'? Well, there was a fellow just behind me, with a
+tremendous voice, singing lustily, and taking special pains to get the
+pronouns correct throughout. And when he reached the fourth line of the
+second verse he sang with loyal fervour."
+
+   "'Confound HIS politics,
+     Frustrate HIS knavish tricks!'"
+
+"That would amuse the King," said Lady Ingleby. "Are you sure it is a
+fact, Ronnie?"
+
+"Positive! I could tell you the church, and the day, and call a whole
+pewful of witnesses who were convulsed by it."
+
+"Well, I shall tell his Majesty at the next opportunity, and say you
+heard it. But how about the tennis? What comes next? Final for couples?
+Oh, yes! Dal, you and Miss Lister play Colonel Loraine and Miss
+Vermount; and I think you ought to win fairly easily. You two are so
+well matched. Jane, this will be worth watching."
+
+"I am sure it will," said Jane warmly, looking at the two, who had
+risen and stood together in the evening sunlight, examining their
+rackets and discussing possible tactics, while awaiting their
+opponents. They made such a radiantly beautiful couple; it was as if
+nature had put her very best and loveliest into every detail of each.
+The only fault which could possibly have been found with the idea of
+them wedded, was that her dark, slim beauty was so very much just a
+feminine edition of his, that they might easily have been taken for
+brother and sister; but this was not a fault which occurred to Jane.
+Her whole-hearted admiration of Pauline increased every time she looked
+at her; and now she had really seen them together, she felt sure she
+had given wise advice to Garth, and rejoiced to know he was taking it.
+
+      *      *      *      *      *
+
+Later on, as they strolled back to the house together,--she and Garth
+alone,--Jane said, simply: "Dal, you will not mind if I ask? Is it
+settled yet?"
+
+"I mind nothing you ask," Garth replied; "only be more explicit. Is
+what settled?"
+
+"Are you and Miss Lister engaged?"
+
+"No," Garth answered. "What made you suppose we should be?"
+
+"You said at Overdene on Tuesday--TUESDAY! oh! doesn't it seem weeks
+ago?--you said we were to take you seriously."
+
+"It seems years ago," said Garth; "and I sincerely hope you will take
+me--seriously. All the same I have not proposed to Miss Lister; and I
+am anxious for an undisturbed talk with you on the subject. Miss
+Champion, after dinner to-night, when all the games and amusements are
+in full swing, and we can escape unobserved, will you come out onto the
+terrace with me, where I shall be able to speak to you without fear of
+interruption? The moonlight on the lake is worth seeing from the
+terrace. I spent an hour out there last night--ah, no; you are wrong
+for once--I spent it alone, when the boating was over, and thought
+of--how--to-night--we might be talking there together."
+
+"Certainly I will come," said Jane; "and you must feel free to tell me
+anything you wish, and promise to let me advise or help in any way I
+can."
+
+"I will tell you everything," said Garth very low, "and you shall
+advise and help as ONLY you can."
+
+      *      *      *      *      *
+
+Jane sat on her window-sill, enjoying the sunset and the exquisite
+view, and glad of a quiet half-hour before she need think of summoning
+her maid. Immediately below her ran the terrace, wide and gravelled,
+bounded by a broad stone parapet, behind which was a drop of eight or
+ten feet to the old-fashioned garden, with quaint box-bordered
+flower-beds, winding walks, and stone fountains. Beyond, a stretch of
+smooth lawn sloping down to the lake, which now lay, a silver mirror,
+in the soft evening light. The stillness was so perfect; the sense of
+peace, so all-pervading. Jane held a book on her knee, but she was not
+reading. She was looking away to the distant woods beyond the lake;
+then to the pearly sky above, flecked with rosy clouds and streaked
+with gleams of gold; and a sense of content, and gladness, and
+well-being, filled her.
+
+Presently she heard a light step on the gravel below and leaned forward
+to see to whom it belonged. Garth had come out of the smoking-room and
+walked briskly to and fro, once or twice. Then he threw himself into a
+wicker seat just beneath her window, and sat there, smoking
+meditatively. The fragrance of his cigarette reached Jane, up among the
+magnolia blossoms. "'Zenith,' Marcovitch," she said to herself, and
+smiled. "Packed in jolly green boxes, twelve shillings a hundred! I
+must remember in case I want to give him a Christmas present. By then
+it will be difficult to find anything which has not already been
+showered upon him."
+
+Garth flung away the end of his cigarette, and commenced humming below
+his breath; then gradually broke into words and sang softly, in his
+sweet barytone:
+
+    "'It is not mine to sing the stately grace,
+     The great soul beaming in my lady's face.'"
+
+The tones, though quiet, were so vibrant with passionate feeling, that
+Jane felt herself an eavesdropper. She hastily picked a large magnolia
+leaf and, leaning out, let it fall upon his head. Garth started, and
+looked up. "Hullo!" he said. "YOU--up there?"
+
+"Yes," said Jane, laughing down at him, and speaking low lest other
+casements should be open, "I--up here. You are serenading the wrong
+window, dear 'devout lover.'"
+
+"What a lot you know about it," remarked Garth, rather moodily.
+
+"Don't I?" whispered Jane. "But you must not mind, Master Garthie,
+because you know how truly I care. In old Margery's absence, you must
+let me be mentor."
+
+Garth sprang up and stood erect, looking up at her, half-amused,
+half-defiant.
+
+"Shall I climb the magnolia?" he said. "I have heaps to say to you
+which cannot be shouted to the whole front of the house."
+
+"Certainly not," replied Jane. "I don't want any Romeos coming in at my
+window. 'Hoity-toity! What next?' as Aunt 'Gina would say. Run along
+and change your pinafore, Master Garthie. The 'heaps of things' must
+keep until to-night, or we shall both be late for dinner."
+
+"All right," said Garth, "all right. But you will come out here this
+evening, Miss Champion? And you will give me as long as I want?"
+
+"I will come as soon as we can possibly escape," replied Jane; "and you
+cannot be more anxious to tell me everything than I am to hear it. Oh!
+the scent of these magnolias! And just look at the great white
+trumpets! Would you like one for your buttonhole?"
+
+He gave her a wistful, whimsical little smile; then turned and went
+indoors.
+
+"Why do I feel so inclined to tease him?" mused Jane, as she moved,
+from the window. "Really it is I who have been silly this time; and he,
+staid and sensible. Myra is quite right. He is taking it very
+seriously. And how about her? Ah! I hope she cares enough, and in the
+right way.--Come in, Matthews! And you can put out the gown I wore on
+the night of the concert at Overdene, and we must make haste. We have
+just twenty minutes. What a lovely evening! Before you do anything
+else, come and see this sunset on the lake. Ah! it is good to be here!"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X
+
+THE REVELATION
+
+
+All the impatience in the world could not prevent dinner at Shenstone
+from being a long function, and two of the most popular people in the
+party could not easily escape afterwards unnoticed. So a distant clock
+in the village was striking ten, as Garth and Jane stepped out on to
+the terrace together. Garth caught up a rug in passing, and closed the
+door of the lower hall carefully behind him.
+
+They were quite alone. It was the first time they had been really alone
+since these days apart, which had seemed so long to both.
+
+They walked silently, side by side, to the wide stone parapet
+overlooking the old-fashioned garden. The silvery moonlight flooded the
+whole scene with radiance. They could see the stiff box-borders, the
+winding paths, the queerly shaped flower-beds, and, beyond, the lake,
+like a silver mirror, reflecting the calm loveliness of the full moon.
+
+Garth spread the rug on the coping, and Jane sat down. He stood beside
+her, one foot on the coping, his arms folded across his chest, his head
+erect. Jane had seated herself sideways, turning towards him, her back
+to an old stone lion mounting guard upon the parapet; but she turned
+her head still further, to look down upon the lake, and she thought
+Garth was looking in the same direction.
+
+But Garth was looking at Jane.
+
+She wore the gown of soft trailing black material she had worn at the
+Overdene concert, only she had not on the pearls or, indeed, any
+ornament save a cluster of crimson rambler roses. They nestled in the
+soft, creamy old lace which covered the bosom of her gown. There was a
+quiet strength and nobility about her attitude which thrilled the soul
+of the man who stood watching her. All the adoring love, the passion of
+worship, which filled his heart, rose to his eyes and shone there. No
+need to conceal it now. His hour had come at last, and he had nothing
+to hide from the woman he loved.
+
+Presently she turned, wondering why he did not begin his confidences
+about Pauline Lister. Looking up inquiringly, she met his eyes.
+
+"Dal!" cried Jane, and half rose from her seat. "Oh, Dal,--don't!"
+
+He gently pressed her back. "Hush, dear," he said. "I must tell you
+everything, and you have promised to listen, and to advise and help.
+Ah, Jane, Jane! I shall need your help. I want it so greatly, and not
+only your help, Jane--but YOU--you, yourself. Ah, how I want you! These
+three days have been one continual ache of loneliness, because you were
+not there; and life began to live and move again, when you returned.
+And yet it has been so hard, waiting all these hours to speak. I have
+so much to tell you, Jane, of all you are to me--all you have become to
+me, since the night of the concert. Ah, how can I express it? I have
+never had any big things in my life; all has been more or less
+trivial--on the surface. This need of you--this wanting you--is so
+huge. It dwarfs all that went before; it would overwhelm all that is to
+come,--were it not that it will be the throne, the crown, the summit,
+of the future.--Oh, Jane! I have admired so many women. I have raved
+about them, sighed for them, painted them, and forgotten them. But I
+never LOVED a woman before; I never knew what womanhood meant to a man,
+until I heard your voice thrill through the stillness--'I count each
+pearl.' Ah, beloved, I have learned to count pearls since then,
+precious hours in the past, long forgotten, now remembered, and at last
+understood. 'Each hour a pearl, each pearl a prayer,' ay, a passionate
+plea that past and present may blend together into a perfect rosary,
+and that the future may hold no possibility of pain or parting. Oh,
+Jane--Jane! Shall I ever be able to make you understand--all--how
+much--Oh, JANE!"
+
+She was not sure just when he had come so near; but he had dropped on
+one knee in front of her, and, as he uttered the last broken sentences,
+he passed both his arms around her waist and pressed his face into the
+soft lace at her bosom. A sudden quietness came over him. All
+struggling with explanations seemed hushed into the silence of complete
+comprehension--an all-pervading, enveloping silence.
+
+Jane neither moved nor spoke. It was so strangely sweet to have him
+there--this whirlwind of emotion come home to rest, in a great
+stillness, just above her quiet heart. Suddenly she realised that the
+blank of the last three days had not been the miss of the music, but
+the miss of HIM; and as she realised this, she unconsciously put her
+arms about him. Sensations unknown to her before, awoke and moved
+within her,--a heavenly sense of aloofness from the world, the
+loneliness of life all swept away by this dear fact--just he and she
+together. Even as she thought it, felt it, he lifted his head, still
+holding her, and looking into her face, said: "You and I together, my
+own--my own."
+
+But those beautiful shining eyes were more than Jane could bear. The
+sense of her plainness smote her, even in that moment; and those
+adoring eyes seemed lights that revealed it. With no thought in her
+mind but to hide the outward part from him who had suddenly come so
+close to the shrine within, she quickly put both hands behind his head
+and pressed his face down again, into the lace at her bosom. But, to
+him, those dear firm hands holding him close, by that sudden movement,
+seemed an acceptance of himself and of all he had to offer. For ten,
+twenty, thirty exquisite seconds, his soul throbbed in silence and
+rapture beyond words. Then he broke from the pressure of those
+restraining hands; lifted his head, and looked into her face once more.
+
+"My wife!" he said.
+
+      *      *      *      *      *
+
+Into Jane's honest face came a look of startled wonder; then a deep
+flush, seeming to draw all the blood, which had throbbed so strangely
+through her heart, into her cheeks, making them burn, and her heart die
+within her. She disengaged herself from his hold, rose, and stood
+looking away to where the still waters of the lake gleamed silver in
+the moonlight.
+
+Garth Dalmain stood beside her. He did not touch her, nor did he speak
+again. He felt sure he had won; and his whole soul was filled with a
+gladness unspeakable. His spirit was content. The intense silence
+seemed more expressive than words. Any ordinary touch would have dimmed
+the sense of those moments when her hands had held him to her. So he
+stood quite still and waited.
+
+At last Jane spoke. "Do you mean that you wish to ask me to be--to be
+THAT--to you?"
+
+"Yes, dear," he answered, gently; but in his voice vibrated the quiet
+of strong self-control. "At least I came out here intending to ask it
+of you. But I cannot ask it now, beloved. I can't ask you TO BE what
+you ARE already. No promise, no ceremony, no giving or receiving of a
+ring, could make you more my wife than you have been just now in those
+wonderful moments."
+
+Jane slowly turned and looked at him. She had never seen anything so
+radiant as his face. But still those shining eyes smote her like
+swords. She longed to cover them with her hands; or bid him look away
+over the woods and water, while he went on saying these sweet things to
+her. She put up one foot on the low parapet, leaned her elbow on her
+knee, and shielded her face with her hand. Then she answered him,
+trying to speak calmly.
+
+"You have taken me absolutely by surprise, Dal. I knew you had been
+delightfully nice and attentive since the concert evening, and that our
+mutual understanding of music and pleasure in it, coupled with an
+increased intimacy brought about by our confidential conversation under
+the cedar, had resulted in an unusually close and delightful
+friendship. I honestly admit it seems to have--it has--meant more to me
+than any friendship has ever meant. But that was partly owing to your
+temperament, Dal, which tends to make you always the most vivid spot in
+one's mental landscape. But truly I thought you wanted me out here in
+order to pour out confidences about Pauline Lister. Everybody believes
+that her loveliness has effected your final capture, and truly, Dal,
+truly--I thought so, too." Jane paused.
+
+"Well?" said the quiet voice, with its deep undertone of gladness. "You
+know otherwise now."
+
+"Dal--you have so startled and astonished me. I cannot give you an
+answer to-night. You must let me have until to-morrow--to-morrow
+morning."
+
+"But, beloved," he said tenderly, moving a little nearer, "there is no
+more need for you to answer than I felt need to put a question. Can't
+you realise this? Question and answer were asked and given just now.
+Oh, my dearest--come back to me. Sit down again."
+
+But Jane stood rigid.
+
+"No," she said. "I can't allow you to take things for granted in this
+way. You took me by surprise, and I lost my head utterly--unpardonably,
+I admit. But, my dear boy, marriage is a serious thing. Marriage is not
+a mere question of sentiment. It has to wear. It has to last. It must
+have a solid and dependable foundation, to stand the test and strain of
+daily life together. I know so many married couples intimately. I stay
+in their homes, and act sponsor to their children; with the result that
+I vowed never to risk it myself. And now I have let you put this
+question, and you must not wonder if I ask for twelve hours to think it
+over."
+
+Garth took this silently. He sat down on the stone coping with his back
+to the lake and, leaning backward, tried to see her face; but the hand
+completely screened it. He crossed his knees and clasped both hands
+around them, rocking slightly backward and forward for a minute while
+mastering the impulse to speak or act violently. He strove to compose
+his mind by fixing it upon trivial details which chanced to catch his
+eye. His red socks showed clearly in the moonlight against the white
+paving of the terrace, and looked well with black patent-leather shoes.
+He resolved always to wear red silk socks in the evening, and wondered
+whether Jane would knit some for him. He counted the windows along the
+front of the house, noting which were his and which were Jane's, and
+how many came between. At last he knew he could trust himself, and,
+leaning back, spoke very gently, his dark head almost touching the lace
+of her sleeve.
+
+"Dearest--tell me, didn't you feel just now--"
+
+"Oh, hush!". cried Jane, almost harshly, "hush, Dal! Don't talk about
+feelings with this question between us. Marriage is fact, not feeling.
+If you want to do really the best thing for us both, go straight
+indoors now and don't speak to me again to-night. I heard you say you
+were going to try the organ in the church on the common at eleven
+o'clock to-morrow morning. Well--I will come there soon after half-past
+eleven and listen while you play; and at noon you can send away the
+blower, and I will give you my answer. But now--oh, go away, dear; for
+truly I cannot bear anymore. I must be left alone."
+
+Garth loosed the strong fingers clasped so tightly round his knee. He
+slipped the hand next to her along the stone coping, close to her foot.
+She felt him take hold of her gown with those deft, masterful fingers.
+Then he bent his dark head quickly, and whispering: "I kiss the cross,"
+with a gesture of infinite reverence and tenderness, which Jane never
+forgot, he kissed the hem of her skirt. The next moment she was alone.
+
+She listened while his footsteps died away. She heard the door into the
+lower hall open and close. Then slowly she sat down just as she had sat
+when he knelt in front of her. Now she was quite alone. The tension of
+these last hard moments relaxed. She pressed both hands over the lace
+at her bosom where that dear, beautiful, adoring face had been hidden.
+Had she FELT, he asked. Ah! what had she not felt?
+
+Tears never came easily to Jane. But to-night she had been called a
+name by which she had never thought to be called; and already her
+honest heart was telling her she would never be called by it again. And
+large silent tears overflowed and fell upon her hands and upon the lace
+at her breast. For the wife and the mother in her had been wakened and
+stirred, and the deeps of her nature broke through the barriers of
+stern repression and almost masculine self-control, and refused to be
+driven back without the womanly tribute of tears.
+
+And around her feet lay the scattered petals of crushed rambler roses.
+
+      *      *      *      *      *
+
+Presently she passed indoors. The upper hall was filled with merry
+groups and resounded with "good-nights" as the women mounted the great
+staircase, pausing to fling back final repartees, or to confirm plans
+for the morrow.
+
+Garth Dalmain was standing at the foot of the staircase, held in
+conversation by Pauline Lister and her aunt, who had turned on the
+fourth step. Jane saw his slim, erect figure and glossy head the moment
+she entered the hall. His back was towards her, and though she advanced
+and stood quite near, he gave no sign of being aware of her presence.
+But the joyousness of his voice seemed to make him hers again in this
+new sweet way. She alone knew what had caused it, and unconsciously she
+put one hand over her bosom as she listened.
+
+"Sorry, dear ladies," Garth was saying, "but to-morrow morning is
+impossible. I have an engagement in the village. Yes--really! At eleven
+o'clock."
+
+"That sounds so rural and pretty, Mr. Dalmain," said Mrs. Parker Bangs.
+"Why not take Pauline and me along? We have seen no dairies, and no
+dairy-maids, nor any of the things in Adam Bede, since we came over. I
+would just love to step into Mrs. Poyser's kitchen and see myself
+reflected in the warming-pans on the walls."
+
+"Perhaps we would be DE TROP in the dairy," murmured Miss Lister archly.
+
+She looked very lovely in her creamy-white satin gown, her small head
+held regally, the brilliant charm of American womanhood radiating from
+her. She wore no jewels, save one string of perfectly matched pearls;
+but on Pauline Lister's neck even pearls seemed to sparkle.
+
+All these scintillations, flung at Garth, passed over his sleek head
+and reached Jane where she lingered in the background. She took in
+every detail. Never had Miss Lister's loveliness been more correctly
+appraised.
+
+"But it happens, unfortunately, to be neither a dairy-maid nor a
+warming-pan," said Garth. "My appointment is with a very grubby small
+boy, whose rural beauties consist in a shock of red hair and a whole
+pepper-pot of freckles."
+
+"Philanthropic?" inquired Miss Lister.
+
+"Yes, at the rate of threepence an hour."
+
+"A caddy, of course," cried both ladies together.
+
+"My! What a mystery about a thing so simple!" added Mrs. Parker Bangs.
+"Now we have heard, Mr. Dalmain, that it is well worth the walk to the
+links to see you play. So you may expect us to arrive there, time to
+see you start around."
+
+Garth's eyes twinkled. Jane could hear the twinkle in his voice. "My
+dear lady," he said, "you overestimate my play as, in your great
+kindness of heart, you overestimate many other things connected with
+me. But I shall like to think of you at the golf links at eleven
+o'clock to-morrow morning. You might drive there, but the walk through
+the woods is too charming to miss. Only remember, you cross the park
+and leave by the north gate, not the main entrance by which we go to
+the railway station. I would offer to escort you, but duty takes me, at
+an early hour, in quite another direction. Besides, when Miss Lister's
+wish to see the links is known, so many people will discover golf to be
+the one possible way of spending to-morrow morning, that I should be
+but a unit in the crowd which will troop across the park to the north
+gate. It will be quite impossible for you to miss your way."
+
+Mrs. Parker Bangs was beginning to explain elaborately that never,
+under any circumstances, could he be a unit, when her niece
+peremptorily interposed.
+
+"That will do, aunt. Don't be silly. We are all units, except when we
+make a crowd; which is what we are doing on this staircase at this
+present moment, so that Miss Champion has for some time been trying
+ineffectually to pass us. Do you golf to-morrow, Miss Champion?"
+
+Garth stood on one side, and Jane began to mount the stairs. He did not
+look at her, but it seemed to Jane that his eyes were on the hem of her
+gown as it trailed past him. She paused beside Miss Lister. She knew
+exactly how effectual a foil she made to the American girl's white
+loveliness. She turned and faced him. She wished him to look up and see
+them standing there together. She wanted the artist eyes to take in the
+cruel contrast. She wanted the artist soul of him to realise it. She
+waited.
+
+Garth's eyes were still on the hem of her gown, close to the left foot;
+but he lifted them slowly to the lace at her bosom, where her hand
+still lay. There they rested a moment, then dropped again, without
+rising higher.
+
+"Yes," said Mrs. Parker Bangs, "are you playing around with Mr. Dalmain
+to-morrow forenoon, Miss Champion?"
+
+Jane suddenly flushed crimson, and then was furious with herself for
+blushing, and hated the circumstances which made her feel and act so
+unlike her ordinary self. She hesitated during the long dreadful
+moment. How dared Garth behave in that way? People would think there
+was something unusual about her gown. She felt a wild impulse to stoop
+and look at it herself to see whether his kiss had materialised and was
+hanging like a star to the silken hem. Then she forced herself to
+calmness and answered rather brusquely: "I am not golfing to-morrow;
+but you could not do better than go to the links. Good-night, Mrs.
+Parker Bangs. Sleep well, Miss Lister. Good-night, Dal."
+
+Garth was on the step below them, handing Pauline's aunt a letter she
+had dropped.
+
+"Good-night, Miss Champion," he said, and for one instant his eyes met
+hers, but he did not hold out his hand, or appear to see hers half
+extended.
+
+The three women mounted the staircase together, then went different
+ways. Miss Lister trailed away down a passage to the right, her aunt
+trotting in her wake.
+
+"There's been a tiff there," said Mrs. Parker Bangs.
+
+"Poor thing!" said Miss Lister softly. "I like her. She's a real good
+sort. I should have thought she would have been more sensible than the
+rest of us."
+
+"A real plain sort," said her aunt, ignoring the last sentence.
+
+"Well, she didn't make her own face," said Miss Lister generously.
+
+"No, and she don't pay other people to make it for her. She's what Sir
+Walter Scott calls: 'Nature in all its ruggedness.'"
+
+"Dear aunt," remarked Miss Lister wearily, "I wish you wouldn't trouble
+to quote the English classics to me when we are alone. It is pure waste
+of breath, because you see I KNOW you have read them all. Here is my
+door. Now come right in and make yourself comfy on that couch. I am
+going to sit in this palatial arm-chair opposite, and do a little very
+needful explaining. My! How they fix one to the floor! These ancestral
+castles are all right so far as they go, but they don't know a thing
+about rockers. Now I have a word or two to say about Miss Champion.
+She's a real good sort, and I like her. She's not a beauty; but she has
+a fine figure, and she dresses right. She has heaps of money, and could
+have rarer pearls than mine; but she knows better than to put pearls on
+that brown skin. I like a woman who knows her limitations and is
+sensible over them. All the men adore her, not for what she looks but
+for what she is, and, my word, aunt, that's what pays in the long run.
+That is what lasts. Ten years hence the Honourable Jane will still be
+what she is, and I shall be trying to look what I'm not. As for Garth
+Dalmain, he has eyes for all of us and a heart for none. His pretty
+speeches and admiring looks don't mean marriage, because he is a man
+with an ideal of womanhood and he can't see himself marrying below it.
+If the Sistine Madonna could step down off those clouds and hand the
+infant to the young woman on her left, he might marry HER; but even
+then he would be afraid he might see some one next day who did her hair
+more becomingly, or that her foot would not look so well on his Persian
+rugs as it does on that cloud. He won't marry money, because he has
+plenty of it. And even if he hadn't, money made in candles would not
+appeal to him. He won't marry beauty, because he thinks too much about
+it. He adores so many lovely faces, that he is never sure for
+twenty-four hours which of them he admires most, bar the fact that, as
+in the case of fruit trees, the unattainable are usually the most
+desired. He won't marry goodness--virtue--worth--whatever you choose to
+call the sterling qualities of character--because in all these the
+Honourable Jane Champion is his ideal, and she is too sensible a woman
+to tie such an epicure to her plain face. Besides, she considers
+herself his grandmother, and doesn't require him to teach her to suck
+eggs. But Garth Dalmain, poor boy, is so sublimely lacking in
+self-consciousness that he never questions whether he can win his
+ideal. He possesses her already in his soul, and it will be a fearful
+smack in the face when she says 'No,' as she assuredly will do, for
+reasons aforesaid. These three days, while he has been playing around
+with me, and you and other dear match-making old donkeys have gambolled
+about us, and made sure we were falling in love, he has been
+worshipping the ground she walks on, and counting the hours until he
+should see her walk on it again. He enjoyed being with me more than
+with the other girls, because I understood, and helped him to work all
+conversations round to her, and he knew, when she arrived here, I could
+be trusted to develop sudden anxiety about you, or have important
+letters to write, if she came in sight. But that is all there will ever
+be between me and Garth Dalmain; and if you had a really careful regard
+for my young affections you would drop your false set on the marble
+wash-stand, or devise some other equally false excuse for our immediate
+departure for town to-morrow.--And now, dear, don't stay to argue;
+because I have said exactly all there is to say on the subject, and a
+little more. And try to toddle to bed without telling me of which cute
+character in Dickens I remind you, because I am cuter than any of them,
+and if I stay in this tight frock another second I can't answer for the
+consequences.--Oui, Josephine, entrez!--Good-night, dear aunt. Happy
+dreams!"
+
+But after her maid had left her, Pauline switched off the electric
+light and, drawing back the curtain, stood for a long while at her
+window, looking out at the peaceful English scene bathed in moonlight.
+At last she murmured softly, leaning her beautiful head against the
+window frame:
+
+"I stated your case well, but you didn't quite deserve it, Dal. You
+ought to have let me know about Jane, weeks ago. Anyway, it will stop
+the talk about you and me. And as for you, dear, you will go on sighing
+for the moon; and when you find the moon is unattainable, you will not
+dream of seeking solace in more earthly lights--not even poppa's best
+sperm," she added, with a wistful little smile, for Pauline's fun
+sparkled in solitude as freely as in company, and as often at her own
+expense as at that of other people, and her brave American spirit would
+not admit, even to herself, a serious hurt.
+
+Meanwhile Jane had turned to the left and passed slowly to her room.
+Garth had not taken her half-proffered hand, and she knew perfectly
+well why. He would never again be content to clasp her hand in
+friendship. If she cut him off from the touch which meant absolute
+possession, she cut herself off from the contact of simple comradeship.
+Garth, to-night, was like a royal tiger who had tasted blood. It seemed
+a queer simile, as she thought of him in his conventional evening
+clothes, correct in every line, well-groomed, smart almost to a fault.
+But out on the terrace with him she had realised, for the first time,
+the primal elements which go to the making of a man--a forceful
+determined, ruling man--creation's king. They echo of primeval forests.
+The roar of the lion is in them, the fierceness of the tiger; the
+instinct of dominant possession, which says: "Mine to have and hold, to
+fight for and enjoy; and I slay all comers!" She had felt it, and her
+own brave soul had understood it and responded to it, unafraid; and
+been ready to mate with it, if only--ah! if only--
+
+But things could never be again as they had been before. If she meant
+to starve her tiger, steel bars must be between them for evermore. None
+of those sentimental suggestions of attempts to be a sort of
+unsatisfactory cross between sister and friend would do for the man
+whose head she had unconsciously held against her breast. Jane knew
+this. He had kept himself magnificently in hand after she put him from
+her, but she knew he was only giving her breathing space. He still
+considered her his own, and his very certainty of the near future had
+given him that gentle patience in the present. But even now, while her
+answer pended, he would not take her hand in friendship. Jane closed
+her door and locked it. She must face this problem of the future, with
+all else locked out excepting herself and him. Ah! if she could but
+lock herself out and think only of him and of his love, as beautiful,
+perfect gifts laid at her feet, that she might draw them up into her
+empty arms and clasp them there for evermore. Just for a little while
+she would do this. One hour of realisation was her right. Afterwards
+she must bring HERSELF into the problem,--her possibilities; her
+limitations; herself, in her relation to him in the future; in the
+effect marriage with her would be likely to have upon him. What it
+might mean to her did not consciously enter into her calculations. Jane
+was self-conscious, with the intense self-consciousness of all reserved
+natures, but she was not selfish.
+
+At first, then, she left her room in darkness, and, groping her way to
+the curtains, drew them back, threw up the sash, and, drawing a chair
+to the window, sat down, leaning her elbows on the sill and her chin in
+her hands, and looked down upon the terrace, still bathed in moonlight.
+Her window was almost opposite the place where she and Garth had
+talked. She could see the stone lion and the vase full of scarlet
+geraniums. She could locate the exact spot where she was sitting when
+he--Memory awoke, vibrant.
+
+Then Jane allowed herself the most wonderful mental experience of her
+life. She was a woman of purpose and decision. She had said she had a
+right to that hour, and she took it to the full. In soul she met her
+tiger and mated with him, unafraid. He had not asked whether she loved
+him or not, and she did not need to ask herself. She surrendered her
+proud liberty, and tenderly, humbly, wistfully, yet with all the
+strength of her strong nature, promised to love, honour, and obey him.
+She met the adoration of his splendid eyes without a tremor. She had
+locked her body out. She was alone with her soul; and her soul was
+all-beautiful--perfect for him.
+
+The loneliness of years slipped from her. Life became rich and
+purposeful. He needed her always, and she was always there and always
+able to meet his need. "Are you content, my beloved?" she asked over
+and over; and Garth's joyous voice, with the ring of perpetual youth in
+it, always answered: "Perfectly content." And Jane smiled into the
+night, and in the depths of her calm eyes dawned a knowledge hitherto
+unknown, and in her tender smile trembled, with unspeakable sweetness,
+an understanding of the secret of a woman's truest bliss. "He is mine
+and I am his. And because he is mine, my beloved is safe; and because I
+am his, he is content."
+
+Thus she gave herself completely; gathering him into the shelter of her
+love; and her generous heart expanded to the greatness of the gift.
+Then the mother in her awoke and realised how much of the maternal
+flows into the love of a true woman when she understands how largely
+the child-nature predominates in the man in love, and how the very
+strength of his need of her reduces to unaccustomed weakness the strong
+nature to which she has become essential.
+
+Jane pressed her hands upon her breast. "Garth," she whispered, "Garth,
+I UNDERSTAND. My own poor boy, it was so hard to you to be sent away
+just then. But you had had all--all you wanted, in those few wonderful
+moments, and nothing can rob you of that fact. And you have made me SO
+yours that, whatever the future brings for you and me, no other face
+will ever be hidden here. It is yours, and I am yours--to-night, and
+henceforward, forever."
+
+Jane leaned her forehead on the window-sill. The moonlight fell on the
+heavy coils of her brown hair. The scent of the magnolia blooms rose in
+fragrance around her. The song of a nightingale purled and thrilled in
+an adjacent wood. The lonely years of the past, the perplexing moments
+of the present, the uncertain vistas of the future, all rolled away.
+She sailed with Garth upon a golden ocean far removed from the shores
+of time. For love is eternal; and the birth of love frees the spirit
+from all limitations of the flesh.
+
+      *      *      *      *      *
+
+A clock in the distant village struck midnight. The twelve strokes
+floated up to Jane's window across the moonlit park. Time was once
+more. Her freed spirit resumed the burden of the body.
+
+A new day had begun, the day upon which she had promised her answer to
+Garth. The next time that clock struck twelve she would be standing
+with him in the church, and her answer must be ready.
+
+She turned from the window without closing it, drew the curtains
+closely across, switched on the electric light over the writing-table,
+took off her evening gown, hung up bodice and skirt in the wardrobe,
+resolutely locking the door upon them. Then she slipped on a sage-green
+wrapper, which she had lately purchased at a bazaar because every one
+else fled from it, and the old lady whose handiwork it was seemed so
+disappointed, and, drawing a chair near the writing-table, took out her
+diary, unlocked the heavy clasp, and began to read. She turned the
+pages slowly, pausing here and there, until she came to those she
+sought. Over them she pondered long, her head in her hands. They
+contained a very full account of her conversation with Garth on the
+afternoon of the day of the concert at Overdene; and the lines upon
+which she specially dwelt were these: "His face was transfigured....
+Goodness and inspiration shone from it, making it as the face of an
+angel.... I never thought him ugly again. Child though I was, I
+could differentiate even then between ugliness and plainness. I have
+associated his face ever since with the wondrous beauty of his soul.
+When he sat down, at the close of his address, I no longer thought him
+a complicated form of chimpanzee. I remembered the divine halo of his
+smile. Of course it was not the sort of face one COULD have wanted to
+live with, or to have day after day opposite one at table, but then one
+was not called to that sort of discipline, which would have been
+martyrdom to me. And he has always stood to my mind since as a proof of
+the truth that goodness is never ugly, and that divine love and
+aspiration, shining through the plainest features, may redeem them,
+temporarily, into beauty; and permanently, into a thing one loves to
+remember."
+
+At first Jane read the entire passage. Then her mind focussed itself
+upon one sentence: "Of course it was not the sort of face one COULD
+have wanted to live with, or to have day after day opposite one at
+table, ... which would have been martyrdom to me."
+
+At length Jane arose, turned on all the lights over the dressing-table,
+particularly two bright ones on either side of the mirror, and, sitting
+down before it, faced herself honestly.
+
+      *      *      *      *      *
+
+When the village clock struck one, Garth Dalmain stood at his window
+taking a final look at the night which had meant so much to him. He
+remembered, with an amused smile, how, to help himself to calmness, he
+had sat on the terrace and thought of his socks, and then had counted
+the windows between his and Jane's. There were five of them. He knew
+her window by the magnolia tree and the seat beneath it where he had
+chanced to sit, not knowing she was above him. He leaned far out and
+looked towards it now. The curtains were drawn, but there appeared
+still to be a light behind them. Even as he watched, it went out.
+
+He looked down at the terrace. He could see the stone lion and the vase
+of scarlet geraniums. He could locate the exact spot where she was
+sitting when he--
+
+Then he dropped upon his knees beside the window and looked up into the
+starry sky.
+
+Garth's mother had lived long enough to teach him the holy secret of
+her sweet patience and endurance. In moments of deep feeling, words
+from his mother's Bible came to his lips more readily than expressions
+of his own thought. Now, looking upward, he repeated softly and
+reverently: "'Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and
+cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness,
+neither shadow of turning.' And oh, Father," he added, "keep us in the
+light--she and I. May there be in us, as there is in Thee, no
+variableness, neither shadow which is cast by turning."
+
+Then he rose to his feet and looked across once more to the stone lion
+and the broad coping. His soul sang within him, and he folded his arms
+across his chest. "My wife!" he said. "Oh! my wife!"
+
+      *      *      *      *      *
+
+And, as the village clock struck one, Jane arrived at her decision.
+
+Slowly she rose, and turned off all the lights; then, groping her way
+to the bed, fell upon her knees beside it, and broke into a passion of
+desperate, silent weeping.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI
+
+GARTH FINDS THE CROSS
+
+
+The village church on the green was bathed in sunshine as Jane emerged
+from the cool shade of the park. The clock proclaimed the hour
+half-past eleven, and Jane did not hasten, knowing she was not expected
+until twelve. The windows of the church were open, and the massive
+oaken doors stood ajar.
+
+Jane paused beneath the ivy-covered porch and stood listening. The
+tones of the organ reached her as from an immense distance, and yet
+with an all-pervading nearness. The sound was disassociated from hands
+and feet. The organ seemed breathing, and its breath was music.
+
+Jane pushed the heavy door further open, and even at that moment it
+occurred to her that the freckled boy with a red head, and Garth's slim
+proportions, had evidently passed easily through an aperture which
+refused ingress to her more massive figure. She pushed the door further
+open, and went in.
+
+Instantly a stillness entered into her soul. The sense of unseen
+presences, often so strongly felt on entering an empty church alone,
+the impress left upon old walls and rafters by the worshipping minds of
+centuries, hushed the insistent beating of her own perplexity, and for
+a few moments she forgot the errand which brought her there, and bowed
+her head in unison with the worship of ages.
+
+Garth was playing the "Veni, Creator Spiritus" to Attwood's perfect
+setting; and, as Jane walked noiselessly up to the chancel, he began to
+sing the words of the second verse. He sang them softly, but his
+beautifully modulated barytone carried well, and every syllable reached
+her.
+
+    "Enable with perpetual light
+     The dulness of our blinded sight;
+     Anoint and cheer our soiled face
+     With the abundance of Thy grace;
+     Keep far our foes; give peace at home;
+     Where Thou art Guide, no ill can come."
+
+Then the organ swelled into full power, pealing out the theme of the
+last verse without its words, and allowing those he had sung to repeat
+themselves over and over in Jane's mind: "Where Thou art Guide, no ill
+can come." Had she not prayed for guidance? Then surely all would be
+well.
+
+She paused at the entrance to the chancel. Garth had returned to the
+second verse, and was singing again, to a waldflute accompaniment,
+"Enable with perpetual light--."
+
+Jane seated herself in one of the old oak stalls and looked around her.
+The brilliant sunshine from without entered through the stained-glass
+windows, mellowed into golden beams of soft amber light, with here and
+there a shaft of crimson. What a beautiful expression--perpetual light!
+As Garth sang it, each syllable seemed to pierce the silence like a ray
+of purest sunlight. "The dulness of--" Jane could just see the top of
+his dark head over the heavy brocade of the organ curtain. She dreaded
+the moment when he should turn, and those vivid eyes should catch sight
+of her--"our blinded sight." How would he take what she must say? Would
+she have strength to come through a long hard scene? Would he be
+tragically heart-broken?--"Anoint and cheer our soiled face"--Would he
+argue, and insist, and override her judgment?--"With the abundance of
+Thy grace"--Could she oppose his fierce strength, if he chose to exert
+it? Would they either of them come through so hard a time without
+wounding each other terribly?--"Keep far our foes; give peace at
+home"--Oh! what could she say? What would he say? How should she
+answer? What reason could she give for her refusal which Garth would
+ever take as final?--"Where Thou art Guide, no ill can come."
+
+And then, after a few soft, impromptu chords; the theme changed.
+
+Jane's heart stood still. Garth was playing "The Rosary." He did not
+sing it; but the soft insistence of the organ pipes seemed to press the
+words into the air, as no voice could have done. Memory's pearls, in
+all the purity of their gleaming preciousness, were counted one by one
+by the flute and dulciana; and the sadder tones of the waldflute
+proclaimed the finding of the cross. It all held a new meaning for
+Jane, who looked helplessly round, as if seeking some way of escape
+from the sad sweetness of sound which filled the little church.
+
+Suddenly it ceased. Garth stood up, turned, and saw her. The glory of a
+great joy leaped into his face.
+
+"All right, Jimmy," he said; "that will do for this morning. And here
+is a bright sixpence, because you have managed the blowing so well.
+Hullo! It's a shilling! Never mind. You shall have it because it is
+such a glorious day. There never was such a day, Jimmy; and I want you
+to be happy also. Now run off quickly, and shut the church door behind
+you, my boy."
+
+Ah! how his voice, with its ring of buoyant gladness, shook her soul.
+
+The red-headed boy, rather grubby, with a whole pepper-pot of freckles,
+but a beaming face of pleasure, came out from behind the organ,
+clattered down a side aisle; dropped his shilling on the way and had to
+find it; but at last went out, the heavy door closing behind him with a
+resounding clang.
+
+Garth had remained standing beside the organ, quite motionless, without
+looking at Jane, and now that they were absolutely alone in the church,
+he still stood and waited a few moments. To Jane those moments seemed
+days, weeks, years, an eternity. Then he came out into the centre of
+the chancel, his head erect, his eyes shining, his whole bearing that
+of a conqueror sure of his victory. He walked down to the quaintly
+carved oaken screen and, passing beneath it, stood at the step. Then he
+signed to Jane to come and stand beside him.
+
+"Here, dearest," he said; "let it be here."
+
+Jane came to him, and for a moment they stood together, looking up the
+chancel. It was darker than the rest of the church, being lighted only
+by three narrow stained-glass windows, gems of colour and of
+significance. The centre window, immediately over the communion table,
+represented the Saviour of the world, dying upon the cross. They gazed
+at it in reverent silence. Then Garth turned to Jane.
+
+"My beloved," he said, "it is a sacred Presence and a sacred place. But
+no place could be too sacred for that which we have to say to each
+other, and the Holy Presence, in which we both believe, is here to
+bless and ratify it. I am waiting for your answer."
+
+Jane cleared her throat and put her trembling hands into the large
+pockets of her tweed coat.
+
+"Dal," she said; "my answer is a question. How old are you?"
+
+She felt his start of intense surprise. She saw the light of expectant
+joy fade from his face. But he replied, after only a momentary
+hesitation: "I thought you knew, dearest. I am twenty-seven."
+
+"Well," said Jane slowly and deliberately, "I am thirty; and I look
+thirty-five, and feel forty. You are twenty-seven, Dal, and you look
+nineteen, and often feel nine. I have been thinking it over, and--you
+know--I cannot marry a mere boy."
+
+Silence--absolute.
+
+In sheer terror Jane forced herself to look at him. He was white to the
+lips. His face was very stern and calm--a strange, stony calmness.
+There was not much youth in it just then. "ANOINT AND CHEER OUR SOILED
+FACE"--The silent church seemed to wail the words in bewildered agony.
+
+At last he spoke. "I had not thought of myself," he said slowly. "I
+cannot explain how it comes to pass, but I have not thought of myself
+at all, since my mind has been full of you. Therefore I had not
+realised how little there is in me that you could care for. I believed
+you had felt as I did, that we were--just each other's." For a moment
+he put out his hand as if he would have touched her. Then it dropped
+heavily to his side. "You are quite right," he said. "You could not
+marry any one whom you consider a mere boy."
+
+He turned from her and faced up the chancel. For the space of a long
+silent minute he looked at the window over the holy table, where hung
+the suffering Christ. Then he bowed his head. "I accept the cross," he
+said, and, turning, walked quietly down the aisle. The church door
+opened, closed behind him with a heavy clang, and Jane was alone.
+
+She stumbled back to the seat she had left, and fell upon her knees.
+
+"O, my God," she cried, "send him back to me, oh, send him back! ...
+Oh, Garth! It is I who am plain and unattractive and unworthy, not you.
+Oh, Garth--come back! come back! come back! ... I will trust and not
+be afraid ... Oh, my own Dear--come back!"
+
+She listened, with straining ears. She waited, until every nerve of her
+body ached with suspense. She decided what she would say when the heavy
+door reopened and she saw Garth standing in a shaft of sunlight. She
+tried to remember the VENI, but the hollow clang of the door had
+silenced even memory's echo of that haunting music. So she waited
+silently, and as she waited the silence grew and seemed to enclose her
+within cruel, relentless walls which opened only to allow her glimpses
+into the vista of future lonely years. Just once more she broke that
+silence. "Oh, darling, come back! I WILL RISK IT," she said. But no
+step drew near, and, kneeling with her face buried in her clasped
+hands, Jane suddenly realised that Garth Dalmain had accepted her
+decision as final and irrevocable, and would not return.
+
+How long she knelt there after realising this, she never knew. But at
+last comfort came to her. She felt she had done right. A few hours of
+present anguish were better than years of future disillusion. Her own
+life would be sadly empty, and losing this newly found joy was costing
+her more than she had expected; but she honestly believed "she had done
+rightly towards him, and what did her own pain matter?" Thus comfort
+came to Jane.
+
+At last she rose and passed out of the silent church into the breezy
+sunshine.
+
+Near the park gates a little knot of excited boys were preparing to fly
+a kite. Jimmy, the hero of the hour, the centre of attraction, proved
+to be the proud possessor of this new kite. Jimmy was finding the day
+glorious indeed, and was being happy. "Happy ALSO," Garth had said. And
+Jane's eyes filled with tears, as she remembered the word and the tone
+in which it was spoken.
+
+"There goes my poor boy's shilling," she said to herself sadly, as the
+kite mounted and soared above the common; "but, alas, where is his joy?"
+
+As she passed up the avenue a dog-cart was driven swiftly down it.
+Garth Dalmain drove it; behind him a groom and a portmanteau. He lifted
+his hat as he passed her, but looked straight before him. In a moment
+he was gone. Had Jane wanted to stop him she could not have done so.
+But she did not want to stop him. She felt absolutely satisfied that
+she had done the right thing, and done it at greater cost to herself
+than to him. He would eventually--ah, perhaps before so very long--find
+another to be to him all, and more than all, he had believed she could
+be. But she? The dull ache at her bosom reminded her of her own words
+the night before, whispered in the secret of her chamber to him who,
+alas, was not there to hear: "Whatever the future brings for you and
+me, no other face will ever be hidden here." And, in this first hour of
+the coming lonely years, she knew them to be true.
+
+In the hall she met Pauline Lister.
+
+"Is that you, Miss Champion?" said Pauline. "Well now, have you heard
+of Mr. Dalmain? He has had to go to town unexpectedly, on the 1.15
+train; and aunt has dropped her false teeth on her marble wash-stand
+and must get to the dentist right away. So we go to town on the 2.30.
+It's an uncertain world. It complicates one's plans, when they have to
+depend on other people's teeth. But I would sooner break false teeth
+than true hearts, any day. One can get the former mended, but I guess
+no one can mend the latter. We are lunching early in our rooms; so I
+wish you good-by, Miss Champion."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII
+
+THE DOCTOR'S PRESCRIPTION
+
+
+The Honourable Jane Champion stood on the summit of the Great Pyramid
+and looked around her. The four exhausted Arabs whose exertions,
+combined with her own activity, had placed her there, dropped in the
+picturesque attitudes into which an Arab falls by nature. They had
+hoisted the Honourable Jane's eleven stone ten from the bottom to the
+top in record time, and now lay around, proud of their achievement and
+sure of their "backsheesh."
+
+The whole thing had gone as if by clock-work. Two mahogany-coloured,
+finely proportioned fellows, in scanty white garments, sprang with the
+ease of antelopes to the top of a high step, turning to reach down
+eagerly and seize Jane's upstretched hands. One remained behind, unseen
+but indispensable, to lend timely aid at exactly the right moment. Then
+came the apparently impossible task for Jane, of placing the sole of
+her foot on the edge of a stone four feet above the one upon which she
+was standing. It seemed rather like stepping up on to the drawing-room
+mantelpiece. But encouraged by cries of "Eiwa! Eiwa!" she did it; when
+instantly a voice behind said, "Tyeb!" two voices above shouted,
+"Keteer!" the grip on her hands tightened, the Arab behind hoisted, and
+Jane had stepped up, with an ease which surprised herself. As a matter
+of fact, under those circumstances the impossible thing would have been
+not to have stepped up.
+
+Arab number four was water-carrier, and offered water from a gourd at
+intervals; and once, when Jane had to cry halt for a few minutes'
+breathing space, Schehati, handsomest of all, and leader of the
+enterprise, offered to recite English Shakespeare-poetry. This proved
+to be:
+
+    "Jack-an-Jill
+     Went uppy hill,
+     To fetchy paily water;
+     Jack fell down-an
+     Broke his crown-an
+     Jill came tumbling after."
+
+Jane had laughed; and Schehati, encouraged by the success of his
+attempt to edify and amuse, used lines of the immortal nursery epic as
+signals for united action during the remainder of the climb. Therefore
+Jane mounted one step to the fact that Jack fell down, and scaled the
+next to information as to the serious nature of his injuries, and at
+the third, Schehati, bending over, confidentially mentioned in her ear,
+while Ali shoved behind, that "Jill came tumbling after."
+
+The familiar words, heard under such novel circumstances, took on fresh
+meaning. Jane commenced speculating as to whether the downfall of Jack
+need necessarily have caused so complete a loss of self-control and
+equilibrium on the part of Jill. Would she not have proved her devotion
+better by bringing the mutual pail safely to the bottom of the hill,
+and there attending to the wounds of her fallen hero? Jane, in her
+time, had witnessed the tragic downfall of various delightful jacks,
+and had herself ministered tenderly to their broken crowns; for in each
+case the Jill had remained on the top of the hill, flirting with that
+objectionable person of the name of Horner, whose cool, calculating way
+of setting to work--so unlike poor Jack's headlong method--invariably
+secured him the plum; upon which he remarked "What a good boy am I!"
+and was usually taken at his own smug valuation. But Jane's entire
+sympathy on these occasions was with the defeated lover, and more than
+one Jack was now on his feet again, bravely facing life, because that
+kind hand had been held out to him as he lay in his valley of
+humiliation, and that comprehending sympathy had proved balm to his
+broken crown.
+
+"Dickery, dickery, dock!" chanted Schehati solemnly, as he hauled
+again; "Moses ran up the clock. The clock struck 'one'--"
+
+THE CLOCK STRUCK "ONE"?--It was nearly three years since that night at
+Shenstone when the clock had struck "one," and Jane had arrived at her
+decision,--the decision which precipitated her Jack from his Pisgah of
+future promise. And yet--no. He had not fallen before the blow. He had
+taken it erect, and his light step had been even firmer than usual as
+he walked down the church and left her, after quietly and deliberately
+accepting her decision. It was Jane herself, left alone, who fell
+hopelessly over the pail. She shivered even now when she remembered how
+its icy waters drenched her heart. Ah, what would have happened if
+Garth had come back in answer to her cry during those first moments of
+intolerable suffering and loneliness? But Garth was not the sort of man
+who, when a door has been shut upon him, waits on the mat outside,
+hoping to be recalled. When she put him from her, and he realised that
+she meant it he passed completely out of her life. He was at the
+railway station by the time she reached the house, and from that day to
+this they had never met. Garth evidently considered the avoidance of
+meetings to be his responsibility, and he never failed her in this.
+Once or twice she went on a visit to houses where she knew him to be
+staying. He always happened to have left that morning, if she arrived
+in time for luncheon; or by an early afternoon train, if she was due
+for tea. He never timed it so that there should be tragic passings of
+each other, with set faces, at the railway stations; or a formal word
+of greeting as she arrived and he departed,--just enough to awaken all
+the slumbering pain and set people wondering. Jane remembered with
+shame that this was the sort of picturesque tragedy she would have
+expected from Garth Dalmain. But the man who had surprised her by his
+dignified acquiescence in her decision, continued to surprise her by
+the strength with which he silently accepted it as final and kept out
+of her way. Jane had not probed the depth of the wound she had
+inflicted.
+
+Never once was his departure connected, in the minds of others, with
+her arrival. There was always some excellent and perfectly natural
+reason why he had been obliged to leave, and he was openly talked of
+and regretted, and Jane heard all the latest "Dal stories," and found
+herself surrounded by the atmosphere of his exotic, beauty-loving
+nature. And there was usually a girl--always the loveliest of the
+party--confidentially pointed out to Jane, by the rest, as a certainty,
+if only Dal had had another twenty-four hours of her society. But the
+girl herself would appear quite heart-whole, only very full of an
+evidently delightful friendship, expressing all Dal's ideas on art and
+colour, as her own, and confidently happy in an assured sense of her
+own loveliness and charm and power to please. Never did he leave behind
+him traces which the woman who loved him regretted to find. But he was
+always gone--irrevocably gone. Garth Dalmain was not the sort of man to
+wait on the door-mat of a woman's indecision.
+
+Neither did this Jack of hers break his crown. His portrait of Pauline
+Lister, painted six months after the Shenstone visit, had proved the
+finest bit of work he had as yet accomplished. He had painted the
+lovely American, in creamy white satin, standing on a dark oak
+staircase, one hand resting on the balustrade, the other, full of
+yellow roses, held out towards an unseen friend below. Behind and above
+her shone a stained-glass window, centuries old, the arms, crest, and
+mottoes of the noble family to whom the place belonged, shining thereon
+in rose-coloured and golden glass. He had wonderfully caught the charm
+and vivacity of the girl. She was gaily up-to-date, and frankly
+American, from the crown of her queenly little head, to the point of
+her satin shoe; and the suggestiveness of placing her in surroundings
+which breathed an atmosphere of the best traditions of England's
+ancient ancestral homes, the fearless wedding of the new world with the
+old, the putting of this sparkling gem from the new into the beautiful
+mellow setting of the old and there showing it at its best,--all this
+was the making of the picture. People smiled, and said the painter had
+done on canvas what he shortly intended doing in reality; but the tie
+between artist and sitter never grew into anything closer than a
+pleasant friendship, and it was the noble owner of the staircase and
+window who eventually persuaded Miss Lister to remain in surroundings
+which suited her so admirably.
+
+One story about that portrait Jane had heard discussed more than once
+in circles where both were known. Pauline Lister had come to the first
+sittings wearing her beautiful string of pearls, and Garth had painted
+them wonderfully, spending hours over the delicate perfecting of each
+separate gleaming drop. Suddenly one day he seized his palette-knife,
+scraped the whole necklace off the canvas with a stroke and, declared
+she must wear her rose-topazes in order to carry out his scheme of
+colour. She was wearing her rose-topazes when Jane saw the picture in
+the Academy, and very lovely they looked on the delicate whiteness of
+her neck. But people who had seen Garth's painting of the pearls
+maintained that that scrape of the palette-knife had destroyed work
+which would have been the talk of the year. And Pauline Lister, just
+after it had happened, was reported to have said, with a shrug of her
+pretty shoulders: "Schemes of colour are all very well. But he scraped
+my pearls off the canvas because some one who came in hummed a tune
+while looking at the picture. I would be obliged if people who walk
+around the studio while I am being painted will in future refrain from
+humming tunes. I don't want him to scoop off my topazes and call for my
+emeralds. Also I feel like offering a reward for the discovery of that
+tune. I want to know what it has to do with my scheme of colour,
+anyway."
+
+When Jane heard the story, she was spending a few days with the Brands
+in Wimpole Street. It was told at tea, in Lady Brand's pretty boudoir.
+The duchess's Concert, at which Garth had heard her sing THE ROSARY,
+was a thing of the past. Nearly a year had elapsed since their final
+parting, and this was the very first thought or word or sign of his
+remembrance, which directly or indirectly, had come her way. She could
+not doubt that the tune hummed had been THE ROSARY.
+
+    "The hours I spent with thee, dear heart,
+     Are as a string of pearls to me;
+     I count them over, every one, apart."
+
+She seemed to hear Garth's voice on the terrace, as she heard it in
+those first startled moments of realising the gift which was being laid
+at her feet--"I have learned to count pearls, beloved."
+
+Jane's heart was growing cold and frozen in its emptiness. This
+incident of the studio warmed and woke it for the moment, and with the
+waking came sharp pain. When the visitors had left, and Lady Brand had
+gone to the nursery, she walked over to the piano, sat down, and softly
+played the accompaniment of "The Rosary." The fine unexpected chords,
+full of discords working into harmony, seemed to suit her mood and her
+memories.
+
+Suddenly a voice behind her said: "Sing it, Jane." She turned quickly.
+The doctor had come in, and was lying back luxuriously in a large
+arm-chair at her elbow, his hands clasped behind his head. "Sing it,
+Jane," he said.
+
+"I can't, Deryck," she answered, still softly sounding the chords. "I
+have not sung for months."
+
+"What has been the matter--for months?"
+
+Jane took her hands off the keys, and swung round impulsively.
+
+"Oh, boy," she said. "I have made a bad mess of my life! And yet I know
+I did right. I would do the same again; at least--at least, I hope I
+would."
+
+The doctor sat in silence for a minute, looking at her and pondering
+these short, quick sentences. Also he waited for more, knowing it would
+come more easily if he waited silently.
+
+It came.
+
+"Boy--I gave up something, which was more than life itself to me, for
+the sake of another, and I can't get over it. I know I did right, and
+yet--I can't get over it."
+
+The doctor leaned forward and took the clenched hands between his.
+
+"Can you tell me about it, Jeanette?"
+
+"I can tell no one, Deryck; not even you."
+
+"If ever you find you must tell some one, Jane, will you promise to
+come to me?"
+
+"Gladly."
+
+"Good! Now, my dear girl, here is a prescription for you. Go abroad.
+And, mind, I do not mean by that, just to Paris and back, or
+Switzerland this summer, and the Riviera in the autumn. Go to America
+and see a few big things. See Niagara. And all your life afterwards,
+when trivialities are trying you, you will love to let your mind go
+back to the vast green mass of water sweeping over the falls; to the
+thunderous roar, and the upward rush of spray; to the huge perpetual
+onwardness of it all. You will like to remember, when you are bothering
+about pouring water in and out of teacups, 'Niagara is flowing still.'
+Stay in a hotel so near the falls that you can hear their great voice
+night and day, thundering out themes of power and progress. Spend hours
+walking round and viewing it from every point. Go to the Cave of the
+Winds, across the frail bridges, where the guide will turn and shout to
+you: 'Are your rings on tight?' Learn, in passing, the true meaning of
+the Rock of Ages. Receive Niagara into your life and soul as a
+possession, and thank God for it."
+
+"Then go in for other big things in America. Try spirituality and
+humanity; love and life. Seek out Mrs. Ballington Booth, the great
+'Little Mother' of all American prisoners. I know her well, I am proud
+to say, and can give you a letter of introduction. Ask her to take you
+with her to Sing-Sing, or to Columbus State Prison, and to let you hear
+her address an audience of two thousand convicts, holding out to them
+the gospel of hope and love,--her own inspired and inspiring belief in
+fresh possibilities even for the most despairing."
+
+"Go to New York City and see how, when a man wants a big building and
+has only a small plot of ground, he makes the most of that ground by
+running his building up into the sky. Learn to do likewise.--And then,
+when the great-souled, large-hearted, rapid-minded people of America
+have waked you to enthusiasm with their bigness, go off to Japan and
+see a little people nobly doing their best to become great.--Then to
+Palestine, and spend months in tracing the footsteps of the greatest
+human life ever lived. Take Egypt on your way home, just to remind
+yourself that there are still, in this very modern world of ours, a few
+passably ancient things,--a well-preserved wooden man, for instance,
+with eyes of opaque white quartz, a piece of rock crystal in the centre
+for a pupil. These glittering eyes looked out upon the world from
+beneath their eyelids of bronze, in the time of Abraham. You will find
+it in the museum at Cairo. Ride a donkey in the Mooskee if you want
+real sport; and if you feel a little slack, climb the Great Pyramid.
+Ask for an Arab named Schehati, and tell him you want to do it one
+minute quicker than any lady has ever done it before."
+
+"Then come home, my dear girl, ring me up and ask for an appointment;
+or chance it, and let Stoddart slip you into my consulting-room between
+patients, and report how the prescription has worked. I never gave a
+better; and you need not offer me a guinea! I attend old friends
+gratis."
+
+Jane laughed, and gripped his hand. "Oh, boy," she said, "I believe you
+are right. My whole ideas of life have been focussed on myself and my
+own individual pains and losses. I will do as you say; and God bless
+you for saying it.--Here comes Flower. Flower," she said, as the
+doctor's wife trailed in, wearing a soft tea-gown, and turning on the
+electric lights as she passed, "will this boy of ours ever grow old?
+Here he is, seriously advising that a stout, middle-aged woman should
+climb the Great Pyramid as a cure for depression, and do it in record
+time!"
+
+"Darling," said the doctor's wife, seating herself on the arm of his
+chair, "whom have you been seeing who is stout, or depressed, or
+middle-aged? If you mean Mrs. Parker Bangs, she is not middle-aged,
+because she is an American, and no American is ever middle-aged. And
+she is only depressed because, even after painting her lovely niece's
+portrait, Garth Dalmain has failed to propose to her. And it is no good
+advising her to climb the Great Pyramid, though she is doing Egypt this
+winter, because I heard her say yesterday that she should never think
+of going up the pyramids until the children of Israel, or whoever the
+natives are who live around those parts, have the sense to put an
+elevator right up the centre."
+
+Jane and the doctor laughed, and Flower, settling herself more
+comfortably, for the doctor's arm had stolen around her, said: "Jane, I
+heard you playing THE ROSARY just now, such a favourite of mine, and it
+is months since I heard it. Do sing it, dear."
+
+Jane met the doctor's eyes and smiled reassuringly; then turned without
+any hesitation and did as Flower asked. The prescription had already
+done her good.
+
+At the last words of the song the doctor's wife bent over and laid a
+tender little kiss just above his temple, where the thick dark hair was
+streaked with silver. But the doctor's mind was intent on Jane, and
+before the final chords were struck he knew he had diagnosed her case
+correctly. "But she had better go abroad," he thought. "It will take
+her mind off herself altogether, giving her a larger view of things in
+general, and a better proportioned view of things in particular. And
+the boy won't change; or, if he does, Jane will be proved right, to her
+own satisfaction. But, if this is HER side, good heavens, what must HIS
+be! I had wondered what was sapping all his buoyant youthfulness. To
+care for Jane would be an education; but to have made Jane care! And
+then to have lost her! He must have nerves of steel, to be facing life
+at all. What is this cross they are both learning to kiss, and holding
+up between them? Perhaps Niagara will sweep it away, and she will cable
+him from there."
+
+Then the doctor took the dear little hand resting on his shoulder and
+kissed it softly, while Jane's back was still turned. For the doctor
+had had past experience of the cross, and now the pearls were very
+precious.
+
+So Jane took the prescription, and two years went by in the taking; and
+here she was, on the top of the Great Pyramid, and, moreover, she had
+done it in record time, and laughed as she thought of how she should
+report the fact to Deryck.
+
+Her Arabs lay around, very hot and shiny, and content. Large backsheesh
+was assured, and they looked up at her with pleased possessive eyes, as
+an achievement of their own; hardly realising how large a part her
+finely developed athletic powers and elastic limbs had played in the
+speed of the ascent.
+
+And Jane stood there, sound in wind and limb, and with the exhilarating
+sense, always helpful to the mind, of a bodily feat accomplished.
+
+She was looking her best in her Norfolk coat and skirt of brown tweed
+with hints of green and orange in it, plenty of useful pockets piped
+with leather, leather buttons, and a broad band of leather round the
+bottom of the skirt. A connoisseur would have named at once the one and
+only firm from which that costume could have come, and the hatter who
+supplied the soft green Tyrolian hat--for Jane scorned pith
+helmets--which matched it so admirably. But Schehati was no connoisseur
+of clothing, though a pretty shrewd judge of ways and manners, and he
+summed up Jane thus: "Nice gentleman-lady! Give good backsheesh, and
+not sit down halfway and say: `No top'! But real lady-gentleman! Give
+backsheesh with kind face, and not send poor Arab to Assouan."
+
+Jane was deeply tanned by the Eastern sun. Burning a splendid brown,
+and enjoying the process, she had no need of veils or parasols; and her
+strong eyes faced the golden light of the desert without the aid of
+smoked glasses. She had once heard Garth remark that a sight which made
+him feel really ill, was the back view of a woman in a motor-veil, and
+Jane had laughingly agreed, for to her veils of any kind had always
+seemed superfluous. The heavy coils of her brown hair never blew about
+into fascinating little curls and wisps, but remained where, with a few
+well-directed hairpins, she each morning solidly placed them.
+
+Jane had never looked better than she did on this March day, standing
+on the summit of the Great Pyramid. Strong, brown, and well-knit, a
+reliable mind in a capable body, the undeniable plainness of her face
+redeemed by its kindly expression of interest and enjoyment; her wide,
+pleasant smile revealing her fine white teeth, witnesses to her perfect
+soundness and health, within and without.
+
+"Nice gentleman-lady," murmured Schehati again: and had Jane overheard
+the remark it would not have offended her; for, though she held a
+masculine woman only one degree less in abhorrence than an effeminate
+man, she would have taken Schehati's compound noun as a tribute to the
+fact that she was well-groomed and independent, knowing her own mind,
+and, when she started out to go to a place, reaching it in the shortest
+possible time, without fidget, fuss, or flurry. These three feminine
+attributes were held in scorn by Jane, who knew herself so deeply
+womanly that she could afford in minor ways to be frankly unfeminine.
+
+The doctor's prescription had worked admirably. That look of falling to
+pieces and ageing prematurely--a general dilapidation of mind and
+body--which it had grieved and startled him to see in Jane as she sat
+before him on the music-stool, was gone completely. She looked a calm,
+pleasant thirty; ready to go happily on, year by year, towards an
+equally agreeable and delightful forty; and not afraid of fifty, when
+that time should come. Her clear eyes looked frankly out upon the
+world, and her sane mind formed sound opinions and pronounced fair
+judgments, tempered by the kindliness of an unusually large and
+generous heart.
+
+Just now she was considering the view and finding it very good. Its
+strong contrasts held her.
+
+On one side lay the fertile Delta, with its groves of waving palm,
+orange, and olive trees, growing in rich profusion on the banks of the
+Nile, a broad band of gleaming silver. On the other, the Desert, with
+its far-distant horizon, stretching away in undulations of golden sand;
+not a tree, not a leaf, not a blade of grass, but boundless liberty, an
+ocean of solid golden glory. For the sun was setting, and the sky
+flamed into colour.
+
+"A parting of the ways," said Jane; "a place of choice. How difficult
+to know which to choose--liberty or fruitfulness. One would have to
+consult the Sphinx--wise old guardian of the ages, silent keeper of
+Time's secrets, gazing on into the future as It has always gazed, while
+future became present, and present glided into past.--Come, Schehati,
+let us descend. Oh, yes, I will certainly sit upon the stone on which
+the King sat when he was Prince of Wales. Thank you for mentioning it.
+It will supply a delightful topic of conversation next time I am
+honoured by a few minutes of his gracious Majesty's attention, and will
+save me from floundering into trite remarks about the weather.--And now
+take me to the Sphinx, Schehati. There is a question I would ask of It,
+just as the sun dips below the horizon."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII
+
+THE ANSWER OF THE SPHINX
+
+
+Moonlight in the desert.
+
+Jane ordered her after-dinner coffee on the piazza of the hotel, that
+she might lose as little as possible of the mystic loveliness of the
+night. The pyramids appeared so huge and solid, in the clear white
+light; and the Sphinx gathered unto itself more mystery.
+
+Jane promised herself a stroll round by moonlight presently. Meanwhile
+she lay back in a low wicker chair, comfortably upholstered, sipping
+her coffee, and giving herself up to the sense of dreamy content which,
+in a healthy body, is apt to follow vigorous exertion.
+
+Very tender and quiet thoughts of Garth came to her this evening,
+perhaps brought about by the associations of moonlight.
+
+    "The moon shines bright:--in such a night as this,
+     When the sweet wind did gently kiss the trees,
+     And they did make no noise--"
+
+Ah! the great poet knew the effect upon the heart of a vivid reminder
+to the senses. Jane now passed beneath the spell.
+
+To begin with, Garth's voice seemed singing everywhere:
+
+    "Enable with perpetual light
+     The dulness of our blinded sight."
+
+Then from out the deep blue and silvery light, Garth's dear adoring
+eyes seemed watching her. Jane closed her own, to see them better.
+To-night she did not feel like shrinking from them, they were so full
+of love.
+
+No shade of critical regard was in them. Ah! had she wronged him with
+her fears for the future? Her heart seemed full of trust to-night, full
+of confidence in him and in herself. It seemed to her that if he were
+here she could go out with him into this brilliant moonlight, seat
+herself upon some ancient fallen stone, and let him kneel in front of
+her and gaze and gaze in his persistent way, as much as he pleased. In
+thought there seemed to-night no shrinking from those dear eyes. She
+felt she would say: "It is all your own, Garth, to look at when you
+will. For your sake, I could wish it beautiful; but if it is as you
+like it, my own Dear, why should I hide it from you?"
+
+What had brought about this change of mind? Had Deryck's prescription
+done its full work? Was this a saner point of view than the one she had
+felt constrained to take when she arrived, through so much agony of
+renunciation, at her decision? Instead of going up the Nile, and then
+to Constantinople and Athens, should she take the steamer which sailed
+from Alexandria to-morrow, be in London a week hence, send for Garth,
+make full confession, and let him decide as to their future?
+
+That he loved her still, it never occurred to Jane to doubt. At the
+very thought of sending for him and telling him the simple truth, he
+seemed so near her once more, that she could feel the clasp of his
+arms, and his head upon her heart. And those dear shining eyes! Oh,
+Garth, Garth!
+
+"One thing is clear to me to-night," thought Jane. "If he still needs
+me--wants me--I cannot live any longer away from him. I must go to
+him." She opened her eyes and looked towards the Sphinx. The whole line
+of reasoning which had carried such weight at Shenstone flashed through
+her mind in twenty seconds. Then she closed her eyes again and clasped
+her hands upon her bosom.
+
+"I will risk it," she said; and deep joy awoke within her heart.
+
+A party of English people came from the dining-room on to the piazza
+with a clatter. They had arrived that evening and gone in late to
+dinner. Jane had hardly noticed them,--a handsome woman and her
+daughter, two young men, and an older man of military appearance. They
+did not interest Jane, but they broke in upon her reverie; for they
+seated themselves at a table near by and, in truly British fashion,
+continued a loud-voiced conversation, as if no one else were present.
+One or two foreigners, who had been peacefully dreaming over coffee and
+cigarettes, rose and strolled away to quiet seats under the palm trees.
+Jane would have done the same, but she really felt too comfortable to
+move, and afraid of losing the sweet sense of Garth's nearness. So she
+remained where she was.
+
+The elderly man held in his hand a letter and a copy of the MORNING
+POST, just received from England. They were discussing news contained
+in the letter and a paragraph he had been reading aloud from the paper.
+
+"Poor fellow! How too sad!" said the chaperon of the party.
+
+"I should think he would sooner have been killed outright!" exclaimed
+the girl. "I know I would."
+
+"Oh, no," said one of the young men, leaning towards her. "Life is
+sweet, under any circumstances."
+
+"Oh, but blind!" cried the young voice, with a shudder. "Quite blind
+for the rest of one's life. Horrible!"
+
+"Was it his own gun?" asked the older woman. "And how came they to be
+having a shooting party in March?"
+
+Jane smiled a fierce smile into the moonlight. Passionate love of
+animal life, intense regard for all life, even of the tiniest insect,
+was as much a religion with her as the worship of beauty was with
+Garth. She never could pretend sorrow over these accounts of shooting
+accidents, or falls in the hunting-field. When those who went out to
+inflict cruel pain were hurt themselves; when those who went forth to
+take eager, palpitating life, lost their own; it seemed to Jane a just
+retribution. She felt no regret, and pretended none. So now she smiled
+fiercely to herself, thinking: "One pair of eyes the less to look along
+a gun and frustrate the despairing dash for home and little ones of a
+terrified little mother rabbit. One hand that will never again change a
+soaring upward flight of spreading wings, into an agonised mass of
+falling feathers. One chance to the good, for the noble stag, as he
+makes a brave run to join his hinds in the valley."
+
+Meanwhile the military-looking man had readjusted his eye-glasses and
+was holding the sheets of a closely written letter to the light.
+
+"No," he said after a moment, "shooting parties are over. There is
+nothing doing on the moors now. They were potting bunnies."
+
+"Was he shooting?" asked the girl.
+
+"No," replied the owner of the letter, "and that seems such hard luck.
+He had given up shooting altogether a year or two ago. He never really
+enjoyed it, because he so loved the beauty of life and hated death in
+every form. He has a lovely place in the North, and was up there
+painting. He happened to pass within sight of some fellows
+rabbit-shooting, and saw what he considered cruelty to a wounded
+rabbit. He vaulted over a gate to expostulate and to save the little
+creature from further suffering. Then it happened. One of the lads,
+apparently startled, let off his gun. The charge struck a tree a few
+yards off, and the shot glanced. It did not strike him full. The face
+is only slightly peppered and the brain quite uninjured. But shots
+pierced the retina of each eye, and the sight is hopelessly gone."
+
+"Awful hard luck," said the young man.
+
+"I never can understand a chap not bein' keen on shootin'," said the
+youth who had not yet spoken.
+
+"Ah, but you would if you had known him," said the soldier. "He was so
+full of life and vivid vitality. One could not imagine him either dying
+or dealing death. And his love of the beautiful was almost a form of
+religious worship. I can't explain it; but he had a way of making you
+see beauty in things you had hardly noticed before. And now, poor chap,
+he can't see them himself."
+
+"Has he a mother?" asked the older woman.
+
+"No, he has no one. He is absolutely alone. Scores of friends of
+course; he was a most popular man about town, and could stay in almost
+any house in the kingdom if he chose to send a post-card to say he was
+coming. But no relations, I believe, and never would marry. Poor chap!
+He will wish he had been less fastidious, now. He might have had the
+pick of all the nicest girls, most seasons. But not he! Just charming
+friendships, and wedded to his art. And now, as Lady Ingleby, says, he
+lies in the dark, helpless and alone."
+
+"Oh, do talk of something else!" cried the girl, pushing back her chair
+and rising. "I want to forget it. It's too horribly sad. Fancy what it
+must be to wake up and not know whether it is day or night, and to have
+to lie in the dark and wonder. Oh, do come out and talk of something
+cheerful."
+
+They all rose, and the young man slipped his hand through the girl's
+arm, glad of the excuse her agitation provided.
+
+"Forget it, dear," he said softly. "Come on out and see the old Sphinx
+by moonlight."
+
+They left the piazza, followed by the rest of the party; but the man to
+whom the MORNING POST belonged laid it on the table and stayed behind,
+lighting a cigar.
+
+Jane rose from her chair and came towards him.
+
+"May I look at your paper?" she said abruptly.
+
+"Certainly," he replied, with ready courtesy. Then, looking more
+closely at her: "Why, certainly, Miss Champion. And how do you do? I
+did not know you were in these parts."
+
+"Ah, General Loraine! Your face seemed familiar, but I had not
+recognised you, either. Thanks, I will borrow this if I may. And don't
+let me keep you from your friends. We shall meet again by and by."
+
+Jane waited until the whole party had passed out of sight and until the
+sound of their voices and laughter had died away in the distance. Then
+she returned to her chair, the place where Garth had seemed so near.
+She looked once more at the Sphinx and at the huge pyramid in the
+moonlight.
+
+Then she took up the paper and opened it.
+
+    "Enable with perpetual light
+     The dulness of our blinded sight."
+
+Yes--it was Garth Dalmain--HER Garth, of the adoring shining eyes--who
+lay at his house in the North; blind, helpless, and alone.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV
+
+IN DERYCK'S SAFE CONTROL
+
+
+The white cliffs of Dover gradually became more solid and distinct,
+until at length they rose from the sea, a strong white wall, emblem of
+the undeniable purity of England, the stainless honour and integrity of
+her throne, her church, her parliament, her courts of justice, and her
+dealings at home and abroad, whether with friend or foe. "Strength and
+whiteness," thought Jane as she paced the steamer's deck; and after a
+two years' absence her heart went out to her native land. Then Dover
+Castle caught her eye, so beautiful in the pearly light of that spring
+afternoon. Her mind leaped to enjoyment, then fell back stunned by the
+blow of quick remembrance, and Jane shut her eyes.
+
+All beautiful sights brought this pang to her heart since the reading
+of that paragraph on the piazza of the Mena House Hotel.
+
+An hour after she had read it, she was driving down the long straight
+road to Cairo; embarked at Alexandria the next day; landed at Brindisi,
+and this night and day travelling had brought her at last within sight
+of the shores of England. In a few minutes she would set foot upon
+them, and then there would be but two more stages to her journey. For,
+from the moment she started, Jane never doubted her ultimate
+destination,--the room where pain and darkness and despair must be
+waging so terrible a conflict against the moral courage, the mental
+sanity, and the instinctive hold on life of the man she loved.
+
+That she was going to him, Jane knew; but she felt utterly unable to
+arrange how or in what way her going could be managed. That it was a
+complicated problem, her common sense told her; though her yearning
+arms and aching bosom cried out: "O God, is it not simple? Blind and
+alone! MY Garth!"
+
+But she knew an unbiased judgment, steadier than her own, must solve
+the problem; and that her surest way to Garth lay through the doctor's
+consulting-room. So she telegraphed to Deryck from Paris, and at
+present her mind saw no further than Wimpole Street.
+
+At Dover she bought a paper, and hastily scanned its pages as she
+walked along the platform in the wake of the capable porter who had
+taken possession of her rugs and hand baggage. In the personal column
+she found the very paragraph she sought.
+
+"We regret to announce that Mr. Garth Dalmain still lies in a most
+precarious condition at his house on Deeside, Aberdeenshire, as a
+result of the shooting accident a fortnight ago. His sight is
+hopelessly gone, but the injured parts were progressing favourably, and
+all fear of brain complications seemed over. During the last few days,
+however, a serious reaction from shock has set in, and it has been
+considered necessary to summon Sir Deryck Brand, the well-known nerve
+specialist, in consultation with the oculist and the local practitioner
+in charge of the case. There is a feeling of wide-spread regret and
+sympathy in those social and artistic circles where Mr. Dalmain was so
+well-known and so deservedly popular."
+
+"Oh, thank you, m'lady," said the efficient porter when he had
+ascertained, by a rapid glance into his palm, that Jane's half-crown
+was not a penny. He had a sick young wife at home, who had been ordered
+extra nourishment, and just as the rush on board began, he had put up a
+simple prayer to the Heavenly Father "who knoweth that ye have need of
+these things," asking that he might catch the eye of a generous
+traveller. He felt he had indeed been "led" to this plain, brown-faced,
+broad-shouldered lady, when he remembered how nearly, after her curt
+nod from a distance had engaged him, he had responded to the
+blandishments of a fussy little woman, with many more bags and rugs,
+and a parrot cage, who was now doling French coppers out of the window
+of the next compartment. "Seven pence 'apenny of this stuff ain't much
+for carrying all that along, I DON'T think!" grumbled his mate; and
+Jane's young porter experienced the double joy of faith confirmed, and
+willing service generously rewarded.
+
+A telegraph boy walked along the train, saying: "Honrubble Jain
+Champyun" at intervals. Jane heard her name, and her arm shot out of
+the window.
+
+"Here, my boy! It is for me."
+
+She tore it open. It was from the doctor.
+
+"Welcome home. Just back from Scotland. Will meet you Charing Cross,
+and give you all the time you want. Have coffee at Dover. DERYCK."
+
+Jane gave one hard, tearless sob of thankfulness and relief. She had
+been so lonely.
+
+Then she turned to the window. "Here, somebody! Fetch me a cup of
+coffee, will you?"
+
+Coffee was the last thing she wanted; but it never occurred to any one
+to disobey the doctor, even at a distance.
+
+The young porter, who still stood sentry at the door of Jane's
+compartment, dashed off to the refreshment room; and, just as the train
+began to move, handed a cup of steaming coffee and a plate of
+bread-and-butter in at the window.
+
+"Oh, thank you, my good fellow," said Jane, putting the plate on the
+seat, while she dived into her pocket. "Here! you have done very well
+for me. No, never mind the change. Coffee at a moment's notice should
+fetch a fancy price. Good-bye."
+
+The train moved on, and the porter stood looking after it with tears in
+his eyes. Over the first half-crown he had said to himself: "Milk and
+new-laid eggs." Now, as he pocketed the second, he added the other two
+things mentioned by the parish doctor: "Soup and jelly"; and his heart
+glowed. "Your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of these
+things."
+
+And Jane, seated in a comfortable corner, choked back the tears of
+relief which threatened to fall, drank her coffee, and was thereby more
+revived than she could have thought possible. She, also, had need of
+many things. Not of half-crowns; of those she had plenty. But above all
+else she needed just now a wise, strong, helpful friend, and Deryck had
+not failed her.
+
+She read his telegram through once more, and smiled. How like him to
+think of the coffee; and oh, how like him to be coming to the station.
+
+She took off her hat and leaned back against the cushions. She had been
+travelling night and day, in one feverish whirl of haste, and at last
+she had brought herself within reach of Deryck's hand and Deryck's safe
+control. The turmoil of her soul was stilled; a great calm took its
+place, and Jane dropped quietly off to sleep. "Your heavenly Father
+knoweth that ye have need of these things."
+
+      *      *      *      *      *
+
+Washed and brushed and greatly refreshed, Jane stood at the window of
+her compartment as the train steamed into Charing Cross.
+
+The doctor was stationed exactly opposite the door when her carriage
+came to a standstill; mere chance, and yet, to Jane, it seemed so like
+him to have taken up his position precisely at the right spot on that
+long platform. An enthusiastic lady patient had once said of Deryck
+Brand, with more accuracy of definition than of grammar: "You know, he
+is always so very JUST THERE." And this characteristic of the doctor
+had made him to many a very present help in time of trouble.
+
+He was through the line of porters and had his hand upon the handle of
+Jane's door in a moment. Standing at the window, she took one look at
+the firm lean face, now alight with welcome, and read in the kind,
+steadfast eyes of her childhood's friend a perfect sympathy and
+comprehension. Then she saw behind him her aunt's footman, and her own
+maid, who had been given a place in the duchess's household. In another
+moment she was on the platform and her hand was in Deryck's.
+
+"That is right, dear," he said. "All fit and well, I can see. Now hand
+over your keys. I suppose you have nothing contraband? I telephoned the
+duchess to send some of her people to meet your luggage, and not to
+expect you herself until dinner time, as you were taking tea with us.
+Was that right? This way. Come outside the barrier. What a rabble! All
+wanting to break every possible rule and regulation, and each trying to
+be the first person in the front row. Really the patience and good
+temper of railway officials should teach the rest of mankind a lesson."
+
+The doctor, talking all the time, piloted Jane through the crowd;
+opened the door of a neat electric brougham, helped her in, took his
+seat beside her, and they glided swiftly out into the Strand, and
+turned towards Trafalgar Square.
+
+"Well," said the doctor, "Niagara is a big thing isn't it? When people
+say to me, 'Were you not disappointed in Niagara? WE were!' I feel
+tempted to wish, for one homicidal moment, that the earth would open
+her mouth and swallow them up. People who can be disappointed in
+Niagara, and talk about it, should no longer be allowed to crawl on the
+face of the earth. And how about the 'Little Mother'? Isn't she worth
+knowing? I hope she sent me her love. And New York harbour! Did you
+ever see anything to equal it, as you steam away in the sunset?"
+
+Jane gave a sudden sob; then turned to him, dry-eyed.
+
+"Is there no hope, Deryck?"
+
+The doctor laid his hand on hers. "He will always be blind, dear. But
+life holds other things beside sight. We must never say: 'No hope.'"
+
+"Will he live?"
+
+"There is no reason he should not live. But how far life will be worth
+living, largely depends upon what can be done for him, poor chap,
+during the next few months. He is more shattered mentally than
+physically."
+
+Jane pulled off her gloves, swallowed suddenly, then gripped the
+doctor's knee. "Deryck--I love him."
+
+The doctor remained silent for a few moments, as if pondering this
+tremendous fact. Then he lifted the fine, capable hand resting upon his
+knee and kissed it with a beautiful reverence,--a gesture expressing
+the homage of the man to the brave truthfulness of the woman.
+
+"In that case, dear," he said, "the future holds in store so great a
+good for Garth Dalmain that I think he may dispense with sight.--
+Meanwhile you have much to say to me, and it is, of course, your right
+to hear every detail of his case that I can give. And here we are at
+Wimpole Street. Now come into my consulting-room. Stoddart has orders
+that we are on no account to be disturbed."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XV
+
+THE CONSULTATION
+
+
+The doctor's room was very quiet. Jane leaned back in his dark green
+leather arm-chair, her feet on a footstool, her hands gripping the arms
+on either side.
+
+The doctor sat at his table, in the round pivot-chair he always
+used,--a chair which enabled him to swing round suddenly and face a
+patient, or to turn away very quietly and bend over his table.
+
+Just now he was not looking at Jane. He had been giving her a detailed
+account of his visit to Castle Gleneesh, which he had left only on the
+previous evening. He had spent five hours with Garth. It seemed kindest
+to tell her all; but he was looking straight before him as he talked,
+because he knew that at last the tears were running unchecked down
+Jane's cheeks, and he wished her to think he did not notice them.
+
+"You understand, dear," he was saying, "the actual wounds are going on
+well. Strangely enough, though the retina of each eye was pierced, and
+the sight is irrecoverably gone, there was very little damage done to
+surrounding parts, and the brain is quite uninjured. The present danger
+arises from the shock to the nervous system and from the extreme mental
+anguish caused by the realisation of his loss. The physical suffering
+during the first days and nights must have been terrible. Poor fellow,
+he looks shattered by it. But his constitution is excellent, and his
+life has been so clean, healthy, and normal, that he had every chance
+of making a good recovery, were it not that as the pain abated and his
+blindness became more a thing to be daily and hourly realised, his
+mental torture was so excessive. Sight has meant so infinitely much to
+him,--beauty of form, beauty of colour. The artist in him was so
+all-pervading. They tell me he said very little. He is a brave man and
+a strong one. But his temperature began to vary alarmingly; he showed
+symptoms of mental trouble, of which I need not give you technical
+details; and a nerve specialist seemed more necessary than an oculist.
+Therefore he is now in my hands."
+
+The doctor paused, straightened a few books lying on the table, and
+drew a small bowl of violets closer to him. He studied these
+attentively for a few moments, then put them back where his wife had
+placed them and went on speaking.
+
+"I am satisfied on the whole. He needed a friendly voice to penetrate
+the darkness. He needed a hand to grasp his, in faithful comprehension.
+He did not want pity, and those who talked of his loss without
+understanding it, or being able to measure its immensity, maddened him.
+He needed a fellow-man to come to him and say: 'It is a fight--an
+awful, desperate fight. But by God's grace you will win through to
+victory. It would be far easier to die; but to die would be to lose;
+you must live to win. It is utterly beyond all human strength; but by
+God's grace you will come through conqueror.' All this I said to him,
+Jeanette, and a good deal more; and then a strangely beautiful thing
+happened. I can tell you, and of course I could tell Flower, but to no
+one else on earth would I repeat it. The difficulty had been to obtain
+from him any response whatever. He did not seem able to rouse
+sufficiently to notice anything going on around him. But those words,
+'by God's grace,' appeared to take hold of him and find immediate echo
+in his inner consciousness. I heard him repeat them once or twice, and
+then change them to 'with the abundance of Thy grace.' Then he turned
+his head slowly on the pillow, and what one could see of his face
+seemed transformed. He said: 'Now I remember it, and the music is
+this'; and his hands moved on the bedclothes, as if forming chords.
+Then, in a very low voice, but quite clearly, he repeated the second
+verse of the VENI, CREATOR SPIRITUS. I knew it, because I used to sing
+it as a chorister in my father's church at home. You remember?"
+
+   "'Enable with perpetual light
+     The dulness of our blinded sight.
+     Anoint and cheer our soiled face
+     With the abundance of Thy grace.
+     Keep far our foes; give peace at home;
+     Where Thou art Guide, no ill can come.'"
+
+"It was the most touching thing I ever heard."
+
+The doctor paused, for Jane had buried her face in her hands and was
+sobbing convulsively. When her sobs grew less violent, the doctor's
+quiet voice continued: "You see, this gave me something to go upon.
+When a crash such as this happens, all a man has left to hold on to is
+his religion. According as his spiritual side has been developed, will
+his physical side stand the strain. Dalmain has more of the real thing
+than any one would think who only knew him superficially. Well, after
+that we talked quite definitely, and I persuaded him to agree to one or
+two important arrangements. You know, he has no relations of his own,
+to speak of; just a few cousins, who have never been very friendly. He
+is quite alone up there; for, though he has hosts of friends, this is a
+time when friends would have to be very intimate to be admitted; and
+though he seemed so boyish and easy to know, I begin to doubt whether
+any of us knew the real Garth--the soul of the man, deep down beneath
+the surface."
+
+Jane lifted her head. "I did," she said simply.
+
+"Ah," said the doctor, "I see. Well, as I said, ordinary friends could
+not be admitted. Lady Ingleby went, in her sweet impulsive way, without
+letting them know she was coming; travelled all the way up from
+Shenstone with no maid, and nothing but a handbag, and arrived at the
+door in a fly. Robert Mackenzie, the local medical man, who is an
+inveterate misogynist, feared at first she was an unsuspected wife of
+Dal's. He seemed to think unannounced ladies arriving in hired vehicles
+must necessarily turn out to be undesirable wives. I gather they had a
+somewhat funny scene. But Lady Ingleby soon got round old Robbie, and
+came near to charming him--as whom does she not? But of course they did
+not dare let her into Dal's room; so her ministry of consolation
+appears to have consisted in letting Dal's old housekeeper weep on her
+beautiful shoulder. It was somewhat of a comedy, hearing about it, when
+one happened to know them all, better than they knew each other. But to
+return to practical details. He has had a fully trained male nurse and
+his own valet to wait on him. He absolutely refused one of our London
+hospital nurses, who might have brought a little gentle comfort and
+womanly sympathy to his sick-room. He said he could not stand being
+touched by a woman; so there it remained. A competent man was found
+instead. But we can now dispense with him, and I have insisted upon
+sending up a lady nurse of my own choosing; not so much to wait on him,
+or do any of a sick-nurse's ordinary duties--his own man can do these,
+and he seems a capable fellow--but to sit with him, read to him, attend
+to his correspondence,--there are piles of unopened letters he ought to
+hear,--in fact help him to take up life again in his blindness. It will
+need training; it will require tact; and this afternoon I engaged
+exactly the right person. She is a gentlewoman by birth, has nursed for
+me before, and is well up in the special knowledge of mental things
+which this case requires. Also she is a pretty, dainty little thing;
+just the kind of elegant young woman poor Dal would have liked to have
+about him when he could see. He was such a fastidious chap about
+appearances, and such a connoisseur of good looks. I have written a
+descriptive account of her to Dr. Mackenzie, and he will prepare his
+patient for her arrival. She is to go up the day after to-morrow. We
+are lucky to get her, for she is quite first-rate, and she has only
+just finished with a long consumptive case, now on the mend and ordered
+abroad. So you see, Jeanette, all is shaping well.--And now, my dear
+girl, you have a story of your own to tell me, and my whole attention
+shall be at your disposal. But first of all I am going to ring for tea,
+and you and I will have it quietly down here, if you will excuse me for
+a few minutes while I go upstairs and speak to Flower."
+
+      *      *      *      *      *
+
+It seemed so natural to Jane to be pouring out the doctor's tea, and to
+watch him putting a liberal allowance of salt on the thin
+bread-and-butter, and then folding it over with the careful accuracy
+which had always characterised his smallest action. In the essentials
+he had changed so little since the days when as a youth of twenty
+spending his vacations at the rectory he used to give the lonely girl
+at the manor so much pleasure by coming up to her school-room tea; and
+when it proved possible to dispose of her governess's chaperonage and
+be by themselves, what delightful times they used to have, sitting on
+the hearth-rug, roasting chestnuts and discussing the many subjects
+which were of mutual interest. Jane could still remember the painful
+pleasure of turning hot chestnuts on the bars with her fingers, and how
+she hastened to do them herself, lest he should be burned. She had
+always secretly liked and admired his hands, with the brown thin
+fingers, so delicate in their touch and yet full of such gentle
+strength. She used to love watching them while he sharpened her pencils
+or drew wonderful diagrams in her exercise books; thinking how in years
+to come, when he performed important operations, human lives would
+depend upon their skill and dexterity. In those early years he had
+seemed so much older than she. And then came the time when she shot up
+rapidly into young womanhood and their eyes were on a level and their
+ages seemed the same. Then, as the years went on, Jane began to feel
+older than he, and took to calling him "Boy" to emphasise this fact.
+And then came--Flower;--and complications. And Jane had to see his face
+grow thin and worn, and his hair whiten on the temples. And she yearned
+over him, yet dared not offer sympathy. At last things came right for
+the doctor, and all the highest good seemed his; in his profession; in
+his standing among men; and, above all, in his heart life, which Flower
+had always held between her two sweet hands. And Jane rejoiced, but
+felt still more lonely now she had no companion in loneliness. And
+still their friendship held, with Flower admitted as a third--a
+wistful, grateful third, anxious to learn from the woman whose
+friendship meant so much to her husband, how to succeed where she had
+hitherto failed. And Jane's faithful heart was generous and loyal to
+both, though in sight of their perfect happiness her loneliness grew.
+
+And now, in her own hour of need, it had to be Deryck only; and the
+doctor knew this, and had arranged accordingly; for at last his chance
+had come, to repay the faithful devotion of a lifetime. The
+conversation of that afternoon would be the supreme test of their
+friendship. And so, with a specialist's appreciation of the mental
+effect of the most trivial external details, the doctor had ordered
+muffins, and a kettle on the fire, and had asked Jane to make the tea.
+
+By the time the kettle boiled, they had remembered the chestnuts, and
+were laughing about poor old Fraulein's efforts to keep them in order,
+and the strategies by which they used to evade her vigilance. And the
+years rolled back, and Jane felt herself very much at home with the
+chum of her childhood.
+
+Nevertheless, there was a moment of tension when the doctor drew back
+the tea-table and they faced each other in easy-chairs on either side
+of the fireplace. Each noticed how characteristic was the attitude of
+the other.
+
+Jane sat forward, her feet firmly planted on the hearth-rug, her arms
+on her knees, and her hands clasped in front of her.
+
+The doctor leaned back, one knee crossed over the other, his elbows on
+the arms of his chair, the tips of his fingers meeting, in absolute
+stillness of body and intense concentration of mind.
+
+The silence between them was like a deep, calm pool.
+
+Jane took the first plunge.
+
+"Deryck, I am going to tell you everything. I am going to speak of my
+heart, and mind, and feelings, exactly as if they were bones, and
+muscles, and lungs. I want you to combine the offices of doctor and
+confessor in one."
+
+The doctor had been contemplating his finger-tips. He now glanced
+swiftly at Jane, and nodded; then turned his head and looked into the
+fire.
+
+"Deryck, mine has been a somewhat lonely existence. I have never been
+essential to the life of another, and no one has ever touched the real
+depths of mine. I have known they were there, but I have known they
+were unsounded."
+
+The doctor opened his lips, as if to speak; then closed them in a
+firmer line than before, and merely nodded his head silently.
+
+"I had never been loved with that love which makes one absolutely first
+to a person, nor had I ever so loved. I had--cared very much; but
+caring is not loving.--Oh, Boy, I know that now!"
+
+The doctor's profile showed rather white against the dark-green
+background of his chair; but he smiled as he answered: "Quite true,
+dear. There is a distinction, and a difference."
+
+"I had heaps of friends, and amongst them a good many nice men, mostly
+rather younger than myself, who called me 'Miss Champion.' to my face,
+and 'good old Jane' behind my back."
+
+The doctor smiled. He had as often heard the expression, and could
+recall the whole-hearted affection and admiration in the tones of those
+who used it.
+
+"Men as a rule," Continued Jane, "get on better with me than do women.
+Being large and solid, and usually calling a spade 'a spade;' and not
+'a garden implement,' women consider me strong-minded, and are inclined
+to be afraid of me. The boys know they can trust me; they make a
+confidante of me, looking upon me as a sort of convenient elder sister
+who knows less about them than an elder sister would know, and is
+probably more ready to be interested in those things which they choose
+to tell. Among my men friends, Deryck, was Garth Dalmain."
+
+Jane paused, and the doctor waited silently for her to continue.
+
+"I was always interested in him, partly because he was so original and
+vivid in his way of talking, and partly because"--a bright flush
+suddenly crept up into the tanned cheeks-"well, though I did not
+realise it then, I suppose I found his extraordinary beauty rather
+fascinating. And then, our circumstances were so much alike,--both
+orphans, and well off; responsible to no one for our actions; with
+heaps of mutual friends, and constantly staying at the same houses. We
+drifted into a pleasant intimacy, and of all my friends, he was the one
+who made me feel most like `a man and a brother.' We discussed women by
+the dozen, all his special admirations in turn, and the effect of their
+beauty upon him, and I watched with interest to see who, at last, would
+fix his roving fancy. But on one eventful day all this was changed in
+half an hour. We were both staying at Overdene. There was a big house
+party, and Aunt Georgina had arranged a concert to which half the
+neighbourhood was coming. Madame Velma failed at the last minute. Aunt
+'Gina, in a great state of mind, was borrowing remarks from her macaw.
+You know how? She always says she is merely quoting `the dear bird.'
+Something had to be done. I offered to take Velma's place; and I sang."
+
+"Ah," said the doctor.
+
+"I sang The Rosary--the song Flower asked for the last time I was here.
+Do you remember?"
+
+The doctor nodded. "I remember."
+
+"After that, all was changed between Garth and me. I did not understand
+it at first. I knew the music had moved him deeply, beauty of sound
+having upon him much the same effect as beauty of colour; but I thought
+the effect would pass in the night. But the days went on, and there was
+always this strange sweet difference; not anything others would notice;
+but I suddenly became conscious that, for the first time in my whole
+life, I was essential to somebody. I could not enter a room without
+realising that he was instantly aware of my presence; I could not leave
+a room without knowing that he would at once feel and regret my
+absence. The one fact filled and completed all things; the other left a
+blank which could not be removed. I knew this, and yet--incredible
+though it may appear--I did not realise it meant LOVE. I thought it was
+an extraordinarily close bond of sympathy and mutual understanding,
+brought about principally by our enjoyment of one another's music. We
+spent hours in the music-room. I put it down to that; yet when he
+looked at me his eyes seemed to touch as well as see me, and it was a
+very tender and wonderful touch. And all the while I never thought of
+love. I was so plain and almost middle-aged; and he, such a beautiful,
+radiant youth. He was like a young sun-god, and I felt warmed and
+vivified when he was near; and he was almost always near. Honestly,
+that was my side of the days succeeding the concert. But HIS! He told
+me afterwards, Deryck, it had been a sudden revelation to him when he
+heard me sing The Rosary, not of music only, but of ME. He said he had
+never thought of me otherwise than as a good sort of chum; but then it
+was as if a veil were lifted, and he saw, and knew, and felt me as a
+woman. And--no doubt it will seem odd to you. Boy; it did to me;--but
+he said, that the woman he found then was his ideal of womanhood, and
+that from that hour he wanted me for his own as he had never wanted
+anything before."
+
+Jane paused, and looked into the glowing heart of the fire.
+
+The doctor turned slowly and looked at Jane. He himself had experienced
+the intense attraction of her womanliness,--all the more overpowering
+when it was realised, because it did not appear upon the surface. He
+had sensed the strong mother-tenderness lying dormant within her; had
+known that her arms would prove a haven of refuge, her bosom a soothing
+pillow, her love a consolation unspeakable. In his own days of
+loneliness and disappointment, the doctor had had to flee from this in
+Jane,--a precious gift, so easy to have taken because of her very
+ignorance of it; but a gift to which he had no right. Thus the doctor
+could well understand the hold it would gain upon a man who had
+discovered it, and who was free to win it for his own.
+
+But he only said, "I do not think it odd, dear."
+
+Jane had forgotten the doctor. She came back promptly from the glowing
+heart of the fire.
+
+"I am glad you don't," she said. "I did.--well, we both left Overdene
+on the same day. I came to you; he went to Shenstone. It was a Tuesday.
+On the Friday I went down to Shenstone, and we met again. Having been
+apart for a little while seemed to make this curious feeling of
+`togetherness,' deeper and sweeter than ever. In the Shenstone house
+party was that lovely American girl, Pauline Lister. Garth was
+enthusiastic about her beauty, and set on painting her. Everybody made
+sure he was going to propose to her. Deryck, I thought so, too; in fact
+I had advised him to do it. I felt so pleased and interested over it,
+though all the while his eyes touched me when he looked at me, and I
+knew the day did not begin for him until we had met, and was over when
+we had said good-night. And this experience of being first and most to
+him made everything so golden, and life so rich, and still I thought of
+it only as an unusually delightful friendship. But the evening of my
+arrival at Shenstone he asked me to come out on to the terrace after
+dinner, as he wanted specially to talk to me. Deryck, I thought it was
+the usual proceeding of making a confidante of me, and that I was to
+hear details of his intentions regarding Miss Lister. Thinking that, I
+walked calmly out beside him; sat down on the parapet, in the brilliant
+moonlight, and quietly waited for him to begin. Then--oh, Deryck! It
+happened."
+
+Jane put her elbows on her knees, and buried her face in her clasped
+hands.
+
+"I cannot tell you--details. His love--it just poured over me like
+molten gold. It melted the shell of my reserve; it burst through the
+ice of my convictions; it swept me off my feet upon a torrent of
+wondrous fire. I knew nothing in heaven or earth but that this love was
+mine, and was for me. And then--oh, Deryck! I can't explain--I don't
+know myself how it happened--but this whirlwind of emotion came to rest
+upon my heart. He knelt with his arms around me, and we held each other
+in a sudden great stillness; and in that moment I was all his, and he
+knew it. He might have stayed there hours if he had not moved or
+spoken; but presently he lifted up his face and looked at me. Then he
+said two words. I can't repeat them, Boy; but they brought me suddenly
+to my senses, and made me realise what it all meant. Garth Dalmain
+wanted me to marry him."
+
+Jane paused, awaiting the doctor's expression of surprise.
+
+"What else could it have meant?" said Deryck Brand, very quietly. He
+passed his hand over his lips, knowing they trembled a little. Jane's
+confessions were giving him a stiffer time than he had expected. "Well,
+dear, so you--?"
+
+"I stood up," said Jane; "for while he knelt there he was master of me,
+mind and body; and some instinct told me that if I were to be won to
+wifehood, my reason must say `yes' before the rest of me. It is
+`spirit, soul, and body' in the Word, not `body, soul, and spirit,' as
+is so often misquoted; and I believe the inspired sequence to be the
+right one."
+
+The doctor made a quick movement of interest. "Good heavens, Jane!" he
+said. "You have got hold of a truth there, and you have expressed it
+exactly as I have often wanted to express it without being able to find
+the right words. You have found them, Jeanette."
+
+She looked into his eager eyes and smiled sadly. "Have I, Boy?" she
+said. "Well, they have cost me dear.--I put my lover from me and told
+him I must have twelve hours for calm reflection. He was so sure--so
+sure of me, so sure of himself--that he agreed without a protest. At my
+request he left me at once. The manner of his going I cannot tell, even
+to you, Dicky. I promised to meet him at the village church next day
+and give him my answer. He was to try the new organ at eleven. We knew
+we should be alone. I came. He sent away the blower. He called me to
+him at the chancel step. The setting was so perfect. The artist in him
+sang for joy, and thrilled with expectation. The glory of absolute
+certainty was in his eyes; though he had himself well in hand. He kept
+from touching me while he asked for my answer. Then--I refused him,
+point blank, giving a reason he could not question. He turned from me
+and left the church, and I have not spoken to him from that day to
+this."
+
+A long silence in the doctor's consulting-room. One manly heart was
+entering into the pain of another, and yet striving not to be indignant
+until he knew the whole truth.
+
+Jane's spirit was strung up to the same pitch as in that fateful hour,
+and once more she thought herself right.
+
+At last the doctor spoke. He looked at her searchingly now, and held
+her eyes.
+
+"And why did you refuse him, Jane?" The kind voice was rather stern.
+
+Jane put out her hands to him appealingly. "Ah, Boy, I must make you
+understand! How could I do otherwise, though, indeed, it was putting
+away the highest good life will ever hold for me? Deryck, you know
+Garth well enough to realise how dependent he is on beauty; he must be
+surrounded by it, perpetually. Before this unaccountable need of each
+other came to us he had talked to me quite freely on this point, saying
+of a plain person whose character and gifts he greatly admired, and
+whose face he grew to like in consequence: 'But of course it was not
+the sort of face one would have wanted to live with, or to have day
+after day opposite to one at table; but then one was not called to that
+sort of discipline, which would be martyrdom to me.' Oh, Deryck! Could
+I have tied Garth to my plain face? Could I have let myself become a
+daily, hourly discipline to that radiant, beauty-loving nature? I know
+they say, 'Love is blind.' But that is before Love has entered into his
+kingdom. Love desirous, sees only that, in the one beloved, which has
+awakened the desire. But Love content, regains full vision, and, as
+time goes on, those powers of vision increase and become, by means of
+daily, hourly, use,--microscopic and telescopic. Wedded love is not
+blind. Bah! An outsider staying with married people is apt to hear what
+love sees, on both sides, and the delusion of love's blindness is
+dispelled forever. I know Garth was blind, during all those golden
+days, to my utter lack of beauty, because he wanted ME so much. But
+when he had had me, and had steeped himself in all I have to give of
+soul and spirit beauty; when the daily routine of life began, which
+after all has to be lived in complexions, and with features to the
+fore; when he sat down to breakfast and I saw him glance at me and then
+look away, when I was conscious that I was sitting behind the
+coffee-pot, looking my very plainest, and that in consequence my boy's
+discipline had begun; could I have borne it? Should I not, in the
+miserable sense of failing him day by day, through no fault of my own,
+have grown plainer and plainer; until bitterness and disappointment,
+and perhaps jealousy, all combined to make me positively ugly? I ask
+you, Deryck, could I have borne it?"
+
+The doctor was looking at Jane with an expression of keen professional
+interest.
+
+"How awfully well I diagnosed the case when I sent you abroad," he
+remarked meditatively. "Really, with so little data to go upon--"
+
+"Oh, Boy," cried Jane, with a movement of impatience, "don't speak to
+me as if I were a patient. Treat me as a human being, at least, and
+tell me--as man to man--could I have tied Garth Dalmain to my plain
+face? For you know it is plain."
+
+The doctor laughed. He was glad to make Jane a little angry. "My dear
+girl," he said, "were we speaking as man to man, I should have a few
+very strong things to say to you. As we are speaking as man to
+woman,--and as a man who has for a very long time respected, honoured,
+and admired a very dear and noble woman,--I will answer your question
+frankly. You are not beautiful, in the ordinary acceptation of the
+word, and no one who really loves you would answer otherwise; because
+no one who knows and loves you would dream of telling you a lie. We
+will even allow, if you like, that you are plain, although I know half
+a dozen young men who, were they here, would want to kick me into the
+street for saying so, and I should have to pretend in self-defence that
+their ears had played them false and I had said, 'You are JANE,' which
+is all they would consider mattered. So long as you are yourself, your
+friends will be well content. At the same time, I may add, while this
+dear face is under discussion, that I can look back to times when I
+have felt that I would gladly walk twenty miles for a sight of it; and
+in its absence I have always wished it present, and in its presence I
+have never wished it away."
+
+"Ah, but, Deryck, you did not have to have it always opposite you at
+meals," insisted Jane gravely.
+
+"Unfortunately not. But I enjoyed the meals more on the happy occasions
+when it was there."
+
+"And, Deryck--YOU DID NOT HAVE TO KISS IT."
+
+The doctor threw back his head and shouted with laughter, so that
+Flower, passing up the stairs, wondered what turn the conversation
+could be taking.
+
+But Jane was quite serious; and saw in it no laughing matter.
+
+"No, dear," said the doctor when he had recovered; "to my infinite
+credit be it recorded, that in all the years I have known it I have
+never once kissed it."
+
+"Dicky, don't tease! Oh, Boy, it is the most vital question of my whole
+life; and if you do not now give me wise and thoughtful advice, all
+this difficult confession will have been for nothing."
+
+The doctor became grave immediately. He leaned forward and took those
+clasped hands between his.
+
+"Dear," he said, "forgive me if I seemed to take it lightly. My most
+earnest thought is wholly at your disposal. And now let me ask you a
+few questions. How did you ever succeed in convincing Dalmain that such
+a thing as this was an insuperable obstacle to your marriage?"
+
+"I did not give it as a reason."
+
+"What then did you give as your reason for refusing him?"
+
+"I asked him how old he was."
+
+"Jane! Standing there beside him in the chancel, where he had come
+awaiting your answer?"
+
+"Yes. It did seem awful when I came to think it over afterwards. But it
+worked."
+
+"I have no doubt it worked. What then?"
+
+"He said he was twenty-seven. I said I was thirty, and looked
+thirty-five, and felt forty. I also said he might be twenty-seven, but
+he looked nineteen, and I was sure he often felt nine."
+
+"Well?"
+
+"Then I said that I could not marry a mere boy."
+
+"And he acquiesced?"
+
+"He seemed stunned at first. Then he said of course I could not marry
+him if I considered him that. He said it was the first time he had
+given a thought to himself in the matter. Then he said he bowed to my
+decision, and he walked down the church and went out, and we have not
+met since."
+
+"Jane," said the doctor, "I wonder he did not see through it. You are
+so unused to lying, that you cannot have lied, on the chancel step, to
+the man you loved, with much conviction."
+
+A dull red crept up beneath Jane's tan.
+
+"Oh, Deryck, it was not entirely a lie. It was one of those dreadful
+lies which are 'part a truth,' of which Tennyson says that they are 'a
+harder matter to fight.'"
+
+     "'A lie which is all a lie
+     May be met and fought with outright;
+     But a lie which is part a truth
+     Is a harder matter to fight,'"
+
+quoted the doctor.
+
+"Yes," said Jane. "And he could not fight this, just because it was
+partly true. He is younger than I by three years, and still more by
+temperament. It was partly for his delightful youthfulness that I
+feared my maturity and staidness. It was part a truth, but oh, Deryck,
+it was more a lie; and it was altogether a lie to call him--the man
+whom I had felt complete master of me the evening before--'a mere boy.'
+Also he could not fight it because it took him so utterly by surprise.
+He had been all the time as completely without self-consciousness, as I
+had been morbidly full of it. His whole thought had been of me. Mine
+had been of him and--of myself."
+
+"Jane," said the doctor, "of all that you have suffered since that
+hour, you deserved every pang."
+
+Jane bent her head. "I know," she said.
+
+"You were false to yourself, and not true to your lover. You robbed and
+defrauded both. Cannot you now see your mistake? To take it on the
+lowest ground, Dalmain, worshipper of beauty as he was, had had a
+surfeit of pretty faces. He was like the confectioner's boy who when
+first engaged is allowed to eat all the cakes and sweets he likes, and
+who eats so many in the first week, that ever after he wants only plain
+bread-and-butter. YOU were Dal's bread-and-butter. I am sorry if you do
+not like the simile."
+
+Jane smiled. "I do like the simile," she said.
+
+"Ah, but you were far more than this, my dear girl. You were his ideal
+of womanhood. He believed in your strength and tenderness, your
+graciousness and truth. You shattered this ideal; you failed this faith
+in you. His fanciful, artistic, eclectic nature with all its unused
+possibilities of faithful and passionate devotion, had found its haven
+in your love; and in twelve hours you turned it adrift. Jane--it was a
+crime. The magnificent strength of the fellow is shown by the way he
+took it. His progress in his art was not arrested. All his best work
+has been done since. He has made no bad mad marriage, in mockery of his
+own pain; and no grand loveless one, to spite you. He might have done
+both--I mean either. And when I realise that the poor fellow I was with
+yesterday--making such a brave fight in the dark, and turning his head
+on the pillow to say with a gleam of hope on his drawn face: `Where
+Thou art Guide, no ill can come'--had already been put through all this
+by you--Jane, if you were a man, I'd horsewhip you!" said the doctor.
+
+Jane squared her shoulders and lifted her head with more of her old
+spirit than she had yet shown.
+
+"You have lashed me well, Boy," she said, "as only words spoken in
+faithful indignation can lash. And I feel the better for the pain.--
+And now I think I ought to tell you that while I was on the top of the
+Great Pyramid I suddenly saw the matter from a different standpoint.
+You remember that view, with its sharp line of demarcation? On one side
+the river, and verdure, vegetation, fruitfulness, a veritable 'garden
+enclosed'; on the other, vast space as far as the eye could reach;
+golden liberty, away to the horizon, but no sign of vegetation, no hope
+of cultivation, just barren, arid, loneliness. I felt this was an exact
+picture of my life as I live it now. Garth's love, flowing through it,
+as the river, could have made it a veritable 'garden of the Lord.' It
+would have meant less liberty, but it would also have meant no
+loneliness. And, after all, the liberty to live for self alone becomes
+in time a weary bondage. Then I realised that I had condemned him also
+to this hard desert life. I came down and took counsel of the old
+Sphinx. Those calm, wise eyes, looking on into futurity, seemed to say:
+'They only live who love.' That evening I resolved to give up the Nile
+trip, return home immediately, send for Garth, admit all to him, asking
+him to let us both begin again just where we were three years ago in
+the moonlight on the terrace at Shenstone. Ten minutes after I had
+formed this decision, I heard of his accident."
+
+The doctor shaded his face with his hand. "The wheels of time," he said
+in a low voice, "move forward--always; backward, never."
+
+"Oh, Deryck," cried Jane, "sometimes they do. You and Flower know that
+sometimes they do."
+
+The doctor smiled sadly and very tenderly. "I know," he said, "that
+there is always one exception which proves every rule." Then he added
+quickly: "But, unquestionably, it helps to mend matters, so far as your
+own mental attitude is concerned, that before you knew of Dalmain's
+blindness you should have admitted yourself wrong, and made up your
+mind to trust him."
+
+"I don't know that I was altogether clear about having been wrong,"
+said Jane, "but I was quite convinced that I couldn't live any longer
+without him, and was therefore prepared to risk it. And of course now,
+all doubt or need to question is swept away by my poor boy's accident,
+which simplifies matters, where that particular point is concerned."
+
+The doctor looked at Jane with a sudden raising of his level brows.
+"Simplifies matters?" he said.
+
+Then, as Jane, apparently satisfied with the expression, did not
+attempt to qualify it, he rose and stirred the fire; standing over it
+for a few moments in silent thought. When he sat down again, his voice
+was very quiet, but there was an alertness about his expression which
+roused Jane. She felt that the crisis of their conversation had been
+reached.
+
+"And now, my dear Jeanette," said the doctor, "suppose you tell me what
+you intend doing."
+
+"Doing?" said Jane. "Why, of course, I shall go straight to Garth. I
+only want you to advise me how best to let him know I am coming, and
+whether it is safe for him to have the emotion of my arrival. Also I
+don't want to risk being kept from him by doctors or nurses. My place
+is by his side. I ask no better thing of life than to be always beside
+him. But sick-room attendants are apt to be pig-headed; and a fuss
+under these circumstances would be unbearable. A wire from you will
+make all clear."
+
+"I see," said the doctor slowly. "Yes, a wire from me will undoubtedly
+open a way for you to Garth Dalmain's bedside. And, arrived there, what
+then?"
+
+A smile of ineffable tenderness parted Jane's lips. The doctor saw it,
+but turned away immediately. It was not for him, or for any man, to see
+that look. The eyes which should have seen it were sightless evermore.
+
+"What then, Deryck? Love will know best what then. All barriers will be
+swept away, and Garth and I will be together."
+
+The doctor's finger-tips met very exactly before he spoke again; and
+when he did speak, his tone was very level and very kind.
+
+"Ah, Jane," he said, "that is the woman's point of view. It is
+certainly the simplest, and perhaps the best. But at Garth's bedside
+you will be confronted with the man's point of view; and I should be
+failing the trust you have placed in me did I not put that before you
+now.--From the man's point of view, your own mistaken action three
+years ago has placed you now in an almost impossible position. If you
+go to Garth with the simple offer of your love--the treasure he asked
+three years ago and failed to win--he will naturally conclude the love
+now given is mainly pity; and Garth Dalmain is not the man to be
+content with pity, where he has thought to win love, and failed. Nor
+would he allow any woman--least of all his crown of womanhood--to tie
+herself to his blindness unless he were sure such binding was her
+deepest joy. And how could you expect him to believe this in face of
+the fact that, when he was all a woman's heart could desire, you
+refused him and sent him from you?--If, on the other hand, you explain,
+as no doubt you intend to do, the reason of that refusal, he can but
+say one thing: 'You could not trust me to be faithful when I had my
+sight. Blind, you come to me, when it is no longer in my power to prove
+my fidelity. There is no virtue in necessity. I can never feel I
+possess your trust, because you come to me only when accident has put
+it out of my power either to do the thing you feared, or to prove
+myself better than your doubts.' My dear girl, that is how matters
+stand from the man's point of view; from his, I make no doubt, even
+more than from mine; for I recognise in Garth Dalmain a stronger man
+than myself. Had it been I that day in the church, wanting you as he
+did, I should have grovelled at your feet and promised to grow up.
+Garth Dalmain had the iron strength to turn and go, without a protest,
+when the woman who had owned him mate the evening before, refused him
+on the score of inadequacy the next morning. I fear there is no
+question of the view he would take of the situation as it now stands."
+
+Jane's pale, startled face went to the doctor's heart.
+
+"But Deryck--he--loves--"
+
+"Just because he loves, my poor old girl, where you are concerned he
+could never be content with less than the best."
+
+"Oh, Boy, help me! Find a way! Tell me what to do!" Despair was in
+Jane's eyes.
+
+The doctor considered long, in silence. At last he said: "I see only
+one way out. If Dal could somehow be brought to realise your point of
+view at that time as a possible one, without knowing it had actually
+been the cause of your refusal of him, and could have the chance to
+express himself clearly on the subject--to me, for instance--in a way
+which might reach you without being meant to reach you, it might put
+you in a better position toward him. But it would be difficult to
+manage. If you could be in close contact with his mind, constantly near
+him unseen--ah, poor chap, that is easy now--I mean unknown to him; if,
+for instance, you could be in the shoes of this nurse-companion person
+I am sending him, and get at his mind on the matter; so that he could
+feel when you eventually made your confession, he had already justified
+himself to you, and thus gone behind his blindness, as it were."
+
+Jane bounded in her chair. "Deryck, I have it! Oh, send ME as his
+nurse-companion! He would never dream it was I. It is three years since
+he heard my voice, and he thinks me in Egypt. The society column in all
+the papers, a few weeks ago, mentioned me as wintering in Egypt and
+Syria and remaining abroad until May. Not a soul knows I have come
+home. You are the best judge as to whether I have had training and
+experience; and all through the war our work was fully as much mental
+and spiritual, as surgical. It was not up to much otherwise. Oh, Dicky,
+you could safely recommend me; and I still have my uniforms stowed away
+in case of need. I could be ready in twenty-four hours, and I would go
+as Sister--anything, and eat in the kitchen if necessary."
+
+"But, my dear girl," said the doctor quietly, "you could not go as
+Sister Anything, unfortunately. You could only go as Nurse Rosemary
+Gray; for I engaged her this morning, and posted a full and explicit
+account of her to Dr. Mackenzie, which he will read, to our patient. I
+never take a case from one nurse and give it to another, excepting for
+incompetency. And Nurse Rosemary Gray could more easily fly, than prove
+incompetent. She will not be required to eat in the kitchen. She is a
+gentlewoman, and will be treated as such. I wish indeed you could be in
+her shoes, though I doubt whether you could have carried it
+through--And now I have something to tell you. Just before I left him,
+Dalmain asked after you. He sandwiched you most carefully in between
+the duchess and Flower; but he could not keep the blood out of his thin
+cheeks, and he gripped the bedclothes in his effort to keep his voice
+steady. He asked where you were. I said, I believed, in Egypt. When you
+were coming home. I told him I had heard you intended returning to
+Jerusalem for Easter, and I supposed we might expect you home at the
+end of April or early in May. He inquired how you were. I replied that
+you were not a good correspondent, but I gathered from occasional
+cables and post-cards that you were very fit and having a good time. I
+then volunteered the statement that it was I who had sent you abroad
+because you were going all to pieces. He made a quick movement with his
+hand as if he would have struck me for using the expression. Then he
+said: 'Going to pieces? SHE!' in a tone of most utter contempt for me
+and my opinions. Then he hastily made minute inquiries for Flower. He
+had already asked about the duchess all the questions he intended
+asking about you. When he had ascertained that Flower was at home and
+well, and had sent him her affectionate sympathy, he begged me to
+glance through a pile of letters which were waiting until he felt able
+to have them read to him, and to tell him any of the handwritings known
+to me. All the world seemed to have sent him letters of sympathy, poor
+chap. I told him a dozen or so of the names I knew,--a royal
+handwriting among them. He asked whether there were any from abroad.
+There were two or three. I knew them all, and named them. He could not
+bear to hear any of them read; even the royal letter remained unopened,
+though he asked to have it in his hand, and fingered the tiny crimson
+crown. Then he asked. 'Is there one from the duchess?' There was. He
+wished to hear that one, so I opened and read it. It was very
+characteristic of her Grace; full of kindly sympathy, heartily yet
+tactfully expressed. Half-way through she said: 'Jane will be upset. I
+shall write and tell her next time she sends me an address. At present
+I have no idea in which quarter of the globe my dear niece is to be
+found. Last time I heard of her she seemed in a fair way towards
+marrying a little Jap and settling in Japan. Not a bad idea, my dear
+Dal, is it? Though, if Japan is at all like the paper screens, I don't
+know where in that Liliputian country they will find a house, or a
+husband, or a what-do-you-call-'em thing they ride in, solid enough for
+our good Jane!' With intuitive tact of a very high order, I omitted
+this entire passage about marrying the Jap. When your aunt's letter was
+finished, he asked point blank whether there was one from you. I said
+No, but that it was unlikely the news had reached you, and I felt sure
+you would write when it did. So I hope you will, dear; and Nurse
+Rosemary Gray will have instructions to read all his letters to him."
+
+"Oh, Deryck," said Jane brokenly, "I can't bear it! I must go to him!"
+
+The telephone bell on the doctor's table whirred sharply. He went over
+and took up the receiver.
+
+"Hullo! ... Yes, it is Dr. Brand.... Who is speaking? ... Oh, is
+it you, Matron?"--Jane felt quite sorry the matron could not see the
+doctor's charming smile into the telephone.--"Yes? What name did you
+say? ... Undoubtedly. This morning; quite definitely. A most
+important case. She is to call and see me to-night ... What? ...
+Mistake on register? Ah, I see ... Gone where? ... Where? ...
+Spell it, please ... Australia! Oh, quite out of reach! ... Yes, I
+heard he was ordered there ... Never mind, Matron. You are in no way
+to blame ... Thanks, I think not. I have some one in view ... Yes....
+Yes.... No doubt she might do ... I will let you know if I
+should require her ... Good-bye, Matron, and thank you."
+
+The doctor hung up the receiver. Then he turned to Jane; a slow,
+half-doubtful smile gathering on his lips.
+
+"Jeanette," he said, "I do not believe in chance. But I do believe in a
+Higher Control, which makes and unmakes our plans. You shall go."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVI
+
+THE DOCTOR FINDS A WAY
+
+
+"And now as to ways and means," said the doctor, when Jane felt better.
+"You must leave by the night mail from Euston, the day after to-morrow.
+Can you be ready?"
+
+"I am ready," said Jane.
+
+"You must go as Nurse Rosemary Gray."
+
+"I don't like that," Jane interposed. "I should prefer a fictitious
+name. Suppose the real Rosemary Gray turned up, or some one who knows
+her."
+
+"My, dear girl, she is half-way to Australia by now, and you will see
+no one up there but the household and the doctor. Any one who turned up
+would be more likely to know you. We must take these risks. Besides, in
+case of complications arising, I will give you a note, which you can
+produce at once, explaining the situation, and stating that in agreeing
+to fill the breach you consented at my request to take the name in
+order to prevent any necessity for explanations to the patient, which
+at this particular juncture would be most prejudicial. I can honestly
+say this, it being even more true than appears. So you must dress the
+part, Jane, and endeavour to look the part, so far as your five foot
+eleven will permit; for please remember that I have described you to
+Dr. Mackenzie as 'a pretty, dainty little thing, refined and elegant,
+and considerably more capable than she looks.'"
+
+"Dicky! He will instantly realise that I am not the person mentioned in
+your letter."
+
+"Not so, dear. Remember we have to do with a Scotchman, and a Scotchman
+never realises anything 'instantly.' The Gaelic mind works slowly,
+though it works exceeding sure. He will be exceeding sure, when he has
+contemplated you for a while, that I am a 'verra poor judge o' women,'
+and that Nurse Gray is a far finer woman than I described. But he will
+have already created for Dalmain, from my letter, a mental picture of
+his nurse; which is all that really matters. We must trust to
+Providence that old Robbie does not proceed to amend it by the
+original. Try to forestall any such conversation. If the good doctor
+seems to mistrust you, take him on one side, show him my letter, and
+tell him the simple truth. But I do not suppose this will be necessary.
+With the patient, you must remember the extreme sensitiveness of a
+blind man's hearing. Tread lightly. Do not give him any opportunity to
+judge of your height. Try to remember that you are not supposed to be
+able to reach the top shelf of an eight-foot bookcase without the aid
+of steps or a chair. And when the patient begins to stand and walk, try
+to keep him from finding out that his nurse is slightly taller than
+himself. This should not be difficult; one of his fixed ideas being
+that in his blindness he will not be touched by a woman. His valet will
+lead him about. And, Jane, I cannot imagine any one who has ever had
+your hand in his, failing to recognise it. So I advise you, from the
+first, to avoid shaking hands. But all these precautions do not obviate
+the greatest difficulty of all,--your voice. Do you suppose, for a
+moment, he will not recognise that?"
+
+"I shall take the bull by the horns in that case," said Jane, "and you
+must help me. Explain the fact to me now, as you might do if I were
+really Nurse Rosemary Gray, and had a voice so like my own."
+
+The doctor smiled. "My dear Nurse Rosemary," he said, "you must not be
+surprised if our patient detects a remarkable similarity between your
+voice and that of a mutual friend of his and mine. I have constantly
+noticed it myself."
+
+"Indeed, sir," said Jane. "And may I know whose voice mine so closely
+resembles?"
+
+"The Honourable Jane Champion's," said the doctor, with the delightful
+smile with which he always spoke to his nurses. "Do you know her?"
+
+"Slightly," said Jane, "and I hope to know her better and better as the
+years go by."
+
+Then they both laughed. "Thank you, Dicky. Now I shall know what to say
+to the patient.--Ah, but the misery of it! Think of it being possible
+thus to deceive Garth,--Garth of the bright, keen all--perceiving
+vision! Shall I ever have the courage to carry it through?"
+
+"If you value your own eventual happiness and his you will, dear. And
+now I must order the brougham and speed you to Portland Place, or you
+will be late--for dinner, a thing the duchess cannot overlook 'as you
+very well know,' even in a traveller returned from round the world. And
+if you take my advice, you will tell your kind, sensible old aunt the
+whole story, omitting of course all moonlight details, and consult her
+about this plan. Her shrewd counsel will be invaluable, and you may be
+glad of her assistance later on."
+
+They rose and faced each other on the hearth-rug.
+
+"Boy," said Jane with emotion, "you have been so good to me, and so
+faithful. Whatever happens, I shall be grateful always."
+
+"Hush," said the doctor. "No need for gratitude when long-standing
+debts are paid.--To-morrow I shall not have a free moment, and I
+foresee the next day as very full also. But we might dine together at
+Euston at seven, and I will see you off. Your train leaves at eight
+o'clock, getting you to Aberdeen soon after seven the next morning, and
+out to Gleneesh in time for breakfast. You will enjoy arriving in the
+early morning light; and the air of the moors braces you
+wonderfully.--Thank you, Stoddart. Miss Champion is ready. Hullo,
+Flower! Look up, Jane. Flower, and Dicky, and Blossom, are hanging over
+the topmost banisters, dropping you showers of kisses. Yes, the river
+you mentioned does produce a veritable 'garden of the Lord.' God send
+you the same, dear. And now, sit well back, and lower your veil. Ah, I
+remember, you don't wear them. Wise girl! If all women followed your
+example it would impoverish the opticians. Why? Oh, constant focussing
+on spots, for one thing. But lean back, for you must not be seen if you
+are supposed to be still in Cairo, waiting to go up the Nile. And, look
+here"--the doctor put his head in at the carriage window--"very plain
+luggage, mind. The sort of thing nurses speak of as 'my box'; with a
+very obvious R. G. on it!"
+
+"Thank you, Boy," whispered Jane. "You think of everything."
+
+"I think of YOU," said the doctor. And in all the hard days to come,
+Jane often found comfort in remembering those last quiet words.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVII
+
+ENTER--NURSE ROSEMARY
+
+
+Nurse Rosemary Gray had arrived at Gleneesh.
+
+When she and her "box" were deposited on the platform of the little
+wayside railway station, she felt she had indeed dropped from the
+clouds; leaving her own world, and her own identity, on some
+far-distant planet.
+
+A motor waited outside the station, and she had a momentary fear lest
+she should receive deferential recognition from the chauffeur. But he
+was as solid and stolid as any other portion of the car, and paid no
+more attention to her than he did to her baggage. The one was a nurse;
+the other, a box, both common nouns, and merely articles to be conveyed
+to Gleneesh according to orders. So he looked straight before him,
+presenting a sphinx-like profile beneath the peak of his leather cap,
+while a slow and solemn porter helped Jane and her luggage into the
+motor. When she had rewarded the porter with threepence,
+conscientiously endeavouring to live down to her box, the chauffeur
+moved foot and hand with the silent precision of a machine, they swung
+round into the open, and took the road for the hills.
+
+Up into the fragrant heather and grey rocks; miles of moor and sky and
+solitude. More than ever Jane felt as if she had dropped into another
+world, and so small an incident as the omission of the usual respectful
+salute of a servant, gave her a delightful sense of success and
+security in her new role.
+
+She had often heard of Garth's old castle up in the North, an
+inheritance from his mother's family, but was hardly prepared for so
+much picturesque beauty or such stateliness of archway and entrance. As
+they wound up the hillside and the grey turrets came into view, with
+pine woods behind and above, she seemed to hear Garth's boyish voice
+under the cedar at Overdene, with its ring of buoyant enjoyment,
+saying: "I should like you to see Castle Gleneesh. You would enjoy the
+view from the terrace; and the pine woods, and the moor." And then he
+had laughingly declared his intention of getting up a "best party" of
+his own, with the duchess as chaperon; and she had promised to make one
+of it. And now he, the owner of all this loveliness, was blind and
+helpless; and she was entering the fair portals of Gleneesh, unknown to
+him, unrecognised by any, as a nurse-secretary sort of person. Jane had
+said at Overdene: "Yes, ask us, and see what happens." And now this was
+happening. What would happen next?
+
+Garth's man, Simpson, received her at the door, and again a possible
+danger was safely passed. He had entered Garth's service within the
+last three years and evidently did not know her by sight.
+
+Jane stood looking round the old hall, in the leisurely way of one
+accustomed to arrive for the first time as guest at the country homes
+of her friends; noting the quaint, large fireplace, and the shadowy
+antlers high up on the walls. Then she became aware that Simpson,
+already half-way up the wide oak staircase, was expecting the nurse to
+hurry after him. This she did, and was received at the top of the
+staircase by old Margery. It did not require the lawn kerchief, the
+black satin apron, and the lavender ribbons, for Jane to recognise
+Garth's old Scotch nurse, housekeeper, and friend. One glance at the
+grave, kindly face, wrinkled and rosy,--a beautiful combination of
+perfect health and advancing years,--was enough. The shrewd, keen eyes,
+seeing quickly beneath the surface, were unmistakable. She conducted
+Jane to her room, talking all the time in a kindly effort to set her at
+her ease, and to express a warm welcome with gentle dignity, not
+forgetting the cloud of sadness which hung over the house and rendered
+her presence necessary. She called her "Nurse Gray" at the conclusion
+of every sentence, with an upward inflection and pretty rolling of the
+r's, which charmed Jane. She longed to say: "You old dear! How I shall
+enjoy being in the house with you!" but remembered in time that a
+remark which would have been gratifying condescension on the part of
+the Honourable Jane Champion, would be little short of impertinent
+familiarity from Nurse Rosemary Gray. So she followed meekly into the
+pretty room prepared for her; admired the chintz; answered questions
+about her night journey; admitted that she would be very glad of
+breakfast, but still more of a bath if convenient.
+
+And now bath and breakfast were both over, and Jane was standing beside
+the window in her room, looking down at the wonderful view, and waiting
+until the local doctor should arrive and summon her to Garth's room.
+
+She had put on the freshest-looking and most business-like of her
+uniforms, a blue print gown, linen collar and cuffs, and a white apron
+with shoulder straps and large pockets. She also wore the becoming cap
+belonging to one of the institutions to which she had once been for
+training. She did not intend wearing this later on, but just this
+morning she omitted no detail which could impress Dr. Mackenzie with
+her extremely professional appearance. She was painfully conscious that
+the severe simplicity of her dress tended rather to add to her height,
+notwithstanding her low-heeled ward shoes with their noiseless rubber
+soles. She could but hope Deryck would prove right as to the view Dr.
+Mackenzie would take.
+
+And then far away in the distance, along the white ribbon of road,
+winding up from the valley, she saw a high gig, trotting swiftly; one
+man in it, and a small groom seated behind. Her hour had come.
+
+Jane fell upon her knees, at the window, and prayed for strength,
+wisdom, and courage. She could realise absolutely nothing. She had
+thought so much and so continuously, that all mental vision was out of
+focus and had become a blur. Even his dear face had faded and was
+hidden from her when she frantically strove to recall it to her mental
+view. Only the actual fact remained clear, that in a few short minutes
+she would be taken to the room where he lay. She would see the face she
+had not seen since they stood together at the chancel step--the face
+from which the glad confidence slowly faded, a horror of chill
+disillusion taking its place.
+
+   "Anoint and cheer our soiled face
+   With the abundance of Thy grace."
+
+She would see that dear face, and he, sightless, would not see hers,
+but would be easily deluded into believing her to be some one else.
+
+The gig had turned the last bend of the road, and passed out of sight
+on its way to the front of the house.
+
+Jane rose and stood waiting. Suddenly she remembered two sentences of
+her conversation with Deryck. She had said: "Shall I ever have the
+courage to carry it through?" And Deryck had answered, earnestly: "If
+you value your own eventual happiness and his, you will."
+
+A tap came at her door. Jane walked across the room, and opened it.
+
+Simpson stood on the threshold.
+
+"Dr. Mackenzie is in the library, nurse," he said, "and wishes to see
+you there."
+
+"Then, will you kindly take me to the library, Mr. Simpson," said Nurse
+Rosemary Gray.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVIII
+
+THE NAPOLEON OF THE MOORS
+
+
+On the bear-skin rug, with his back to the fire, stood Dr. Robert
+Mackenzie, known to his friends as "Dr. Rob" or "Old Robbie," according
+to their degrees of intimacy.
+
+Jane's first impression was of a short, stout man, in a sealskin
+waistcoat which had seen better days, a light box-cloth overcoat three
+sizes too large for him, a Napoleonic attitude,--little spindle legs
+planted far apart, arms folded on chest, shoulders hunched up,--which
+led one to expect, as the eye travelled upwards, an ivory-white
+complexion, a Roman nose, masterful jaw, and thin lips folded in a line
+of conscious power. Instead of which one found a red, freckled face, a
+nose which turned cheerfully skyward, a fat pink chin, and drooping
+sandy moustache. The only striking feature of the face was a pair of
+keen blue eyes, which, when turned upon any one intently, almost
+disappeared beneath bushy red eyebrows and became little points of
+turquoise light.
+
+Jane had not been in his presence two minutes before she perceived
+that, when his mind was working, he was entirely unconscious of his
+body, which was apt to do most peculiar things automatically; so that
+his friends had passed round the remark: "Robbie chews up dozens of
+good pen-holders, while Dr. Mackenzie is thinking out excellent
+prescriptions."
+
+When Jane entered, his eyes were fixed upon an open letter, which she
+instinctively knew to be Deryck's, and he did not look up at once. When
+he did look up, she saw his unmistakable start of surprise. He opened
+his mouth to speak, and Jane was irresistibly reminded of a tame
+goldfish at Overdene, which used to rise to the surface when the
+duchess dropped crumbs. He closed it without uttering a word, and
+turned again to Deryck's letter; and Jane felt herself to be the crumb,
+or rather the camel, which he was finding it difficult to swallow.
+
+She waited in respectful silence, and Deryck's words passed with
+calming effect through the palpitating suspense of her brain. "The
+Gaelic mind works slowly, though it works exceeding sure. He will be
+exceeding sure that I am a verra poor judge o' women."
+
+At last the little man on the hearth-rug lifted his eyes again to
+Jane's; and, alas, how high he had to lift them!
+
+"Nurse--er?" he said inquiringly, and Jane thought his searching eyes
+looked like little bits of broken blue china in a hay-stack.
+
+"Rosemary Gray," replied Jane meekly, with a curtsey in her voice;
+feeling as if they were rehearsing amateur theatricals at Overdene, and
+the next minute the duchess's cane would rap the floor and they would
+be told to speak up and not be so slow.
+
+"Ah," said Dr. Robert Mackenzie, "I see."
+
+He stared hard at the carpet in a distant corner of the room, then
+walked across and picked up a spline broken from a bass broom; brought
+it back to the hearth-rug; examined it with minute attention; then put
+one end between his teeth and began to chew it.
+
+Jane wondered what was the correct thing to do at this sort of
+interview, when a doctor neither sat down himself nor suggested that
+the nurse should do so. She wished she had asked Deryck. But he could
+not possibly have enlightened her, because the first thing he always
+said to a nurse was: "My dear Nurse SO-AND-SO, pray sit down. People
+who have much unavoidable standing to do should cultivate the habit of
+seating themselves comfortably at every possible opportunity."
+
+But the stout little person on the hearth-rug was not Deryck. So Jane
+stood at attention, and watched the stiff bit of bass wag up and down,
+and shorten, inch by inch. When it had finally disappeared, Dr. Robert
+Mackenzie spoke again.
+
+"So you have arrived, Nurse Gray," he said.
+
+"Truly the mind of a Scotchman works slowly," thought Jane, but she was
+thankful to detect the complete acceptance of herself in his tone.
+Deryck was right; and oh the relief of not having to take this
+unspeakable little man into her confidence in this matter of the
+deception to be practised on Garth.
+
+"Yes, sir, I have arrived," she said.
+
+Another period of silence. A fragment of the bass broom reappeared and
+vanished once more, before Dr. Mackenzie spoke again.
+
+"I am glad you have arrived, Nurse Gray," he said.
+
+"I am glad TO have arrived, sir," said Jane gravely, almost expecting
+to hear the duchess's delighted "Ha, ha!" from the wings. The little
+comedy was progressing.
+
+Then suddenly she became aware that during the last few minutes Dr.
+Mackenzie's mind had been concentrated upon something else. She had not
+filled it at all. The next moment it was turned upon her and two swift
+turquoise gleams from under the shaggy brows swept over her, with the
+rapidity and brightness of search-lights. Dr. Mackenzie commenced
+speaking quickly, with a wonderful rolling of r's.
+
+"I understand, Miss Gray, you have come to minister to the patient's
+mind rather than to his body. You need not trouble to explain. I have
+it from Sir Deryck Brand, who prescribed a nurse-companion for the
+patient, and engaged you. I fully agreed with his prescription; and,
+allow me to say, I admire its ingredients."
+
+Jane bowed, and realised how the duchess would be chuckling. What an
+insufferable little person! Jane had time to think this, while he
+walked across to the table-cloth, bent over it, and examined an ancient
+spot of ink. Finding a drop of candle grease near it, he removed it
+with his thumb nail; brought it carefully to the fire, and laid it on
+the coals. He watched it melt, fizzle, and flare, with an intense
+concentration of interest; then jumped round on Jane, and caught her
+look of fury.
+
+"And I think there remains very little for me to say to you about the
+treatment, Miss Gray," he finished calmly. "You will have received
+minute instructions from Sir Deryck himself. The great thing now is to
+help the patient to take an interest in the outer world. The temptation
+to persons who suddenly become totally blind, is to form a habit of
+living entirely in a world within; a world of recollection,
+retrospection, and imagination; the only world, in fact, in which they
+can see."
+
+Jane made a quick movement of appreciation and interest. After all she
+might learn something useful from this eccentric little Scotchman. Oh
+to keep his attention off rubbish on the carpet, and grease spots on
+the table-cloth!
+
+"Yes?" she said. "Do tell me more."
+
+"This," continued Dr. Mackenzie, "is our present difficulty with Mr.
+Dalmain. There seems to be no possibility of arousing his interest in
+the outside world. He refuses to receive visitors; he declines to hear
+his letters. Hours pass without a word being spoken by him. Unless you
+hear him speak to me or to his valet, you will easily suppose yourself
+to have a patient who has lost the power of speech as well as the gift
+of sight. Should he express a wish to speak to me alone when we are
+with him, do not leave the room. Walk over to the fireplace and remain
+there. I desire that you should hear, that when he chooses to rouse and
+make an effort, he is perfectly well able to do so. The most important
+part of your duties, Nurse Gray, will be the aiding him day by day to
+resume life,--the life of a blind man, it is true; but not therefore
+necessarily an inactive life. Now that all danger of inflammation from
+the wounds has subsided, he may get up, move about, learn to find his
+way by sound and touch. He was an artist by profession. He will never
+paint again. But there are other gifts which may form reasonable
+outlets to an artistic nature."
+
+He paused suddenly, having apparently caught sight of another grease
+spot, and walked over to the table; but the next instant jumped round
+on Jane, quick as lightning, with a question.
+
+"Does he play?" said Dr. Rob.
+
+But Jane was on her guard, even against accidental surprises.
+
+"Sir Deryck did not happen to mention to me, Dr. Mackenzie, whether Mr.
+Dalmain is musical or not."
+
+"Ah, well," said the little doctor, resuming his Napoleonic attitude in
+the centre of the hearth-rug; "you must make it your business to find
+out. And, by the way, Nurse, do you play yourself?"
+
+"A little," said Jane.
+
+"Ah," said Dr. Rob. "And I dare say you sing a little, too?"
+
+Jane acquiesced.
+
+"In that case, my dear lady, I leave most explicit orders that you
+neither sing a little nor play a little to Mr. Dalmain. We, who have
+our sight, can just endure while people who 'play a little' show us how
+little they can play; because we are able to look round about us and
+think of other things. But to a blind man, with an artist's sensitive
+soul, the experience might culminate in madness. We must not risk it. I
+regret to appear uncomplimentary, but a patient's welfare must take
+precedence of all other considerations."
+
+Jane smiled. She was beginning to like Dr. Rob.
+
+"I will be most careful," she said, "neither to play nor to sing to Mr.
+Dalmain."
+
+"Good," said Dr. Mackenzie. "But now let me tell you what you most
+certainly may do, by-and-by. Lead him to the piano. Place him there
+upon a seat where he will feel secure; none of your twirly, rickety
+stools. Make a little notch on the key-board by which he can easily
+find middle C. Then let him relieve his pent-up soul by the painting of
+sound-pictures. You will find this will soon keep him happy for hours.
+And, if he is already something of a musician,--as that huge grand
+piano, with no knick-knacks on it indicates,--he may begin that sort of
+thing at once, before he is ready to be worried with the Braille
+system, or any other method of instructing the blind. But contrive an
+easy way--a little notch in the wood-work below the note--by means of
+which, without hesitation or irritation, he can locate himself
+instantly at middle C. Never mind the other notes. It is all the SEEING
+he will require when once he is at the piano. Ha, ha! Not bad for a
+Scotchman, eh, Nurse Gray?"
+
+But Jane could not laugh; though somewhere in her mental background she
+seemed to hear laughter and applause from the duchess. This was no
+comedy to Jane,--her blind Garth at the piano, his dear beautiful head
+bent over the keys, his fingers feeling for that pathetic little notch,
+to be made by herself, below middle C. She loathed this individual who
+could make a pun on the subject of Garth's blindness, and, in the back
+of her mind, Tommy seemed to join the duchess, flapping up and down on
+his perch and shrieking: "Kick him out! Stop his jaw!"
+
+"And now," said Dr. Mackenzie unexpectedly, "the next thing to be done,
+Nurse Gray, is to introduce you to the patient."
+
+Jane felt the blood slowly leave her face and concentrate in a terrible
+pounding at her heart. But she stood her ground, and waited silently.
+
+Dr. Mackenzie rang the bell. Simpson appeared.
+
+"A decanter of sherry, a wine-glass, and a couple of biscuits," said
+Dr. Rob.
+
+Simpson vanished.
+
+"Little beast!" thought Jane. "At eleven o'clock in the morning!".
+
+Dr. Rob stood, and waited; tugging spitefully at his red moustache, and
+looking intently out of the window.
+
+Simpson reappeared, placed a small tray on the table, and went quietly
+out, closing the door behind him.
+
+Dr. Rob poured out a glass of sherry, drew up a chair to the table, and
+said: "Now, Nurse, sit down and drink that, and take a biscuit with it."
+
+Jane protested. "But, indeed, doctor, I never--"
+
+"I have no doubt you 'never,'" said Dr. Rob, "especially at eleven
+o'clock in the morning. But you will to-day; so do not waste any time
+in discussion. You have had a long night journey; you are going
+upstairs to a very sad sight indeed, a strain on the nerves and
+sensibilities. You have come through a trying interview with me, and
+you are praising Heaven it is over. But you will praise Heaven with
+more fervency when you have drunk the sherry. Also you have been
+standing during twenty-three minutes and a half. I always stand to
+speak myself, and I prefer folk should stand to listen. I can never
+talk to people while they loll around. But you will walk upstairs all
+the more steadily, Nurse Rosemary Gray, if you sit down now for five
+minutes at this table."
+
+Jane obeyed, touched and humbled. So, after all, it was a kind,
+comprehending heart under that old sealskin waistcoat; and a shrewd
+understanding of men and matters, in spite of the erratic, somewhat
+objectionable exterior. While she drank the wine and finished the
+biscuits, he found busy occupation on the other side of the room,
+polishing the window with his silk pocket-handkerchief; making a queer
+humming noise all the time, like a bee buzzing up the pane. He seemed
+to have forgotten her presence; but, just as she put down the empty
+glass, he turned and, walking straight across the room, laid his hand
+upon her shoulder.
+
+"Now, Nurse," he said, "follow me upstairs, and, just at first, speak
+as little as possible. Remember, every fresh voice intruding into the
+still depths of that utter blackness, causes an agony of bewilderment
+and disquietude to the patient. Speak little and speak low, and may God
+Almighty give you tact and wisdom."
+
+There was a dignity of conscious knowledge and power in the small
+quaint figure which preceded Jane up the staircase. As she followed,
+she became aware that her spirit leaned on his and felt sustained and
+strengthened. The unexpected conclusion of his sentence, old-fashioned
+in its wording, yet almost a prayer, gave her fresh courage. "May God
+Almighty give you tact and wisdom," he had said, little guessing how
+greatly she needed them. And now another voice, echoing through
+memory's arches to organ-music, took up the strain: "Where Thou art
+Guide, no ill can come." And with firm though noiseless step, Jane
+followed Dr. Mackenzie into the roam where Garth was lying, helpless,
+sightless, and disfigured.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIX
+
+THE VOICE IN THE DARKNESS
+
+
+Just the dark head upon the pillow. That was all Jane saw at first, and
+she saw it in sunshine. Somehow she had always pictured a darkened
+room, forgetting that to him darkness and light were both alike, and
+that there was no need to keep out the sunlight, with its healing,
+purifying, invigorating powers.
+
+He had requested to have his bed moved into a corner--the corner
+farthest from door, fireplace, and windows--with its left side against
+the wall, so that he could feel the blank wall with his hand and,
+turning close to it, know himself shut away from all possible prying of
+unseen eyes. This was how he now lay, and he did not turn as they
+entered.
+
+Just the dear dark head upon the pillow. It was all Jane saw at first.
+Then his right arm in the sleeve of a blue silk sleeping-suit,
+stretched slightly behind him as he lay on his left side, the thin
+white hand limp and helpless on the coverlet.
+
+Jane put her hands behind her. The impulse was so strong to fall on her
+knees beside the bed, take that poor hand in both her strong ones, and
+cover it with kisses. Ah surely, surely then, the dark head would turn
+to her, and instead of seeking refuge in the hard, blank wall, he would
+hide that sightless face in the boundless tenderness of her arms. But
+Deryck's warning voice sounded, grave and persistent: "If you value
+your own eventual happiness and his--" So Jane put her hands behind her
+back.
+
+Dr. Mackenzie advanced to the side of the bed and laid his hand upon
+Garth's shoulder. Then, with an incredible softening of his rather
+strident voice, he spoke so slowly and quietly, that Jane could hardly
+believe this to be the man who had jerked out questions, comments, and
+orders to her, during the last half-hour.
+
+"Good morning, Mr. Dalmain. Simpson tells me it has been an excellent
+night, the best you have yet had. Now that is good. No doubt you were
+relieved to be rid of Johnson, capable though he was, and to be back in
+the hands of your own man again. These trained attendants are never
+content with doing enough; they always want to do just a little more,
+and that little more is a weariness to the patient.--Now I have brought
+you to-day one who is prepared to do all you need, and yet who, I feel
+sure, will never annoy you by attempting more than you desire. Sir
+Deryck Brand's prescription, Nurse Rosemary Gray, is here; and I
+believe she is prepared to be companion, secretary, reader, anything
+you want, in fact a new pair of eyes for you, Mr. Dalmain, with a
+clever brain behind them, and a kind, sympathetic, womanly heart
+directing and controlling that brain. Nurse Gray arrived this morning,
+Mr. Dalmain."
+
+No response from the bed. But Garth's hand groped for the wall; touched
+it, then dropped listlessly back.
+
+Jane could not realise that SHE was "Nurse Gray." She only longed that
+her poor boy need not be bothered with the woman! It all seemed, at
+this moment, a thing apart from herself and him.
+
+Dr. Mackenzie spoke again. "Nurse Rosemary Gray is in the room, Mr.
+Dalmain."
+
+Then Garth's instinctive chivalry struggled up through the blackness.
+He did not turn his head, but his right hand made a little courteous
+sign of greeting, and he said in a low, distinct voice: "How do you do?
+I am sure it is most kind of you to come so far. I hope you had an easy
+journey."
+
+Jane's lips moved, but no sound would pass them.
+
+Dr. Rob made answer quickly, without looking at her: "Miss Gray had a
+very good journey, and looks as fresh this morning as if she had spent
+the night in bed. I can see she is a cold-water young lady."
+
+"I hope my housekeeper will make her comfortable. Please give orders,"
+said the tired voice; and Garth turned even closer to the wall, as if
+to end the conversation.
+
+Dr. Rob attacked his moustache, and stood looking down at the blue silk
+shoulder for a minute, silently.
+
+Then he turned and spoke to Jane. "Come over to the window, Nurse Gray.
+I want to show you a special chair we have obtained for Mr. Dalmain, in
+which he will be most comfortable as soon as he feels inclined to sit
+up. You see? Here is an adjustable support for the head, if necessary;
+and these various trays and stands and movable tables can be swung
+round into any position by a touch. I consider it excellent, and Sir
+Deryck approved it. Have you seen one of this kind before, Nurse Gray?"
+
+"We had one at the hospital, but not quite so complete as this," said
+Jane.
+
+In the stillness of that sunlit chamber, the voice from the bed broke
+upon them with startling suddenness; and in it was the cry of one lost
+in an abyss of darkness, but appealing to them with a frantic demand
+for instant enlightenment.
+
+"WHO is in the room?" cried Garth Dalmain.
+
+His face was still turned to the wall; but he had raised himself on his
+left elbow, in an attitude which betokened intent listening.
+
+Dr. Mackenzie answered. "No one is in the room, Mr. Dalmain, but myself
+and Nurse Gray."
+
+"There IS some one else in the room!" said Garth violently. "How dare
+you lie to me! Who was speaking?"
+
+Then Jane came quickly to the side of the bed. Her hands were
+trembling, but her voice was perfectly under control.
+
+"It was I who spoke, sir," she said; "Nurse Rosemary Gray. And I feel
+sure I know why my voice startled you. Dr. Brand warned me it might do
+so. He said I must not be surprised if you detected a remarkable
+similarity between my voice and that of a mutual friend of yours and
+his. He said he had often noticed it."
+
+Garth, in his blindness, remained quite still; listening and
+considering. At length he asked slowly: "Did he say whose voice?"
+
+"Yes, for I asked him. He said it was Miss Champion's."
+
+Garth's head dropped back upon the pillow. Then without turning he said
+in a tone which Jane knew meant a smile on that dear hidden face: "You
+must forgive me, Miss Gray, for being so startled and so stupidly,
+unpardonably agitated. But, you know, being blind is still such a new
+experience, and every fresh voice which breaks through the black
+curtain of perpetual night, means so infinitely more than the speaker
+realises. The resemblance in your voice to that of the lady Sir Deryck
+mentioned is so remarkable that, although I know her to be at this
+moment in Egypt, I could scarcely believe she was not in the room. And
+yet the most unlikely thing in the world would be that she should have
+been in this room. So I owe you and Dr. Mackenzie most humble apologies
+for my agitation and unbelief."
+
+He stretched out his right hand, palm upwards, towards Jane.
+
+Jane clasped her shaking hands behind her.
+
+"Now, Nurse, if you please," broke in Dr. Mackenzie's rasping voice
+from the window, "I have a few more details to explain to you over
+here."
+
+They talked together for a while without interruption, until Dr. Rob
+remarked: "I suppose I will have to be going."
+
+Then Garth said: "I wish to speak to you alone, doctor, for a few
+minutes."
+
+"I will wait for you downstairs, Dr. Mackenzie," said Jane, and was
+moving towards the door, when an imperious gesture from Dr. Rob stopped
+her, and she turned silently to the fireplace. She could not see any
+need now for this subterfuge, and it annoyed her. But the freckled
+little Napoleon of the moors was not a man to be lightly disobeyed. He
+walked to the door, opened and closed it; then returned to the bedside,
+drew up a chair, and sat down.
+
+"Now, Mr. Dalmain," he said.
+
+Garth sat up and turned towards him eagerly.
+
+Then, for the first time, Jane saw his face.
+
+"Doctor," he said, "tell me about this nurse. Describe her to me."
+
+The tension in tone and attitude was extreme. His hands were clasped in
+front of him, as if imploring sight through the eyes of another. His
+thin white face, worn with suffering, looked so eager and yet so blank.
+
+"Describe her to me, doctor," he said; "this Nurse Rosemary Gray, as
+you call her."
+
+"But it is not a pet name of mine, my dear sir," said Dr. Rob
+deliberately. "It is the young lady's own name, and a pretty one, too.
+'Rosemary for remembrance.' Is not that Shakespeare?"
+
+"Describe her to me," insisted Garth, for the third time.
+
+Dr. Mackenzie glanced at Jane. But she had turned her back, to hide the
+tears which were streaming down her cheeks. Oh, Garth! Oh, beautiful
+Garth of the shining eyes!
+
+Dr. Rob drew Deryck's letter from his pocket and studied it.
+
+"Well," he said slowly, "she is a pretty, dainty little thing; just the
+sort of elegant young woman you would like to have about you, could you
+see her."
+
+"Dark or fair?" asked Garth.
+
+The doctor glanced at what he could see of Jane's cheek, and at the
+brown hands holding on to the mantelpiece.
+
+"Fair," said Dr. Rob, without a moment's hesitation.
+
+Jane started and glanced round. Why should this little man be lying on
+his own account?
+
+"Hair?" queried the strained voice from the bed.
+
+"Well," said Dr. Rob deliberately, "it is mostly tucked away under a
+modest little cap; but, were it not for that wise restraint, I should
+say it might be that kind of fluffy, fly-away floss-silk, which puts
+the finishing touch to a dainty, pretty woman."
+
+Garth lay back, panting, and pressed his hands over his sightless face.
+
+"Doctor," he said, "I know I have given you heaps of trouble, and
+to-day you must think me a fool. But if you do not wish me to go mad in
+my blindness, send that girl away. Do not let her enter my room again."
+
+"Now, Mr. Dalmain," said Dr. Mackenzie patiently; "let us consider this
+thing. We may take it you have nothing against this young lady
+excepting a chance resemblance in her voice to that of a friend of
+yours now far away. Was not this other lady a pleasant person?"
+
+Garth laughed suddenly, bitterly; a laugh like a hard, sob. "Oh, yes,"
+he said, "she was quite a pleasant person."
+
+"'Rosemary for remembrance,'" quoted Dr. Rob. "Then why should not
+Nurse Rosemary call up a pleasant remembrance? Also it seems to me to
+be a kind, sweet, womanly voice, which is something to be thankful for
+nowadays, when so many women talk, fit to scare the crows; cackle,
+cackle, cackle--like stones rattling in a tin canister."
+
+"But can't you understand, doctor," said Garth wearily, "that it is
+just the remembrance and the resemblance which, in my blindness, I
+cannot bear? I have nothing against her voice, Heaven knows! But I tell
+you, when I heard it first I thought it was--it was she--the
+other--come to me--here--and--" Garth's voice ceased suddenly.
+
+"The pleasant lady?" suggested Dr. Rob. "I see. Well now, Mr. Dalmain,
+Sir Deryck said the best thing that could happen would be if you came
+to wish for visitors. It appears you have many friends ready and
+anxious to come any distance in order to bring you help or cheer. Why
+not let me send for this pleasant lady? I make no doubt she would come.
+Then when she herself had sat beside you, and talked with you, the
+nurse's voice would trouble you no longer."
+
+Garth sat up again, his face wild with protest. Jane turned on the
+hearth-rug, and stood watching it.
+
+"No, doctor," he said. "Oh, my God, no! In the whole world, she is the
+last person I would have enter this room!"
+
+Dr. Mackenzie bent forward to examine minutely a microscopic darn in
+the sheet. "And why?" he asked very low.
+
+"Because," said Garth, "that pleasant lady, as you rightly call her,
+has a noble, generous heart, and it might overflow with pity for my
+blindness; and pity from her I could not accept. It would be the last
+straw upon my heavy cross. I can bear the cross, doctor; I hope in time
+to carry it manfully, until God bids me lay it down. But that last
+straw--HER pity--would break me. I should fall in the dark, to rise no
+more."
+
+"I see," said Dr. Rob gently. "Poor laddie! The pleasant lady must not
+come."
+
+He waited silently a few minutes, then pushed back his chair and stood
+up.
+
+"Meanwhile," he said, "I must rely on you, Mr. Dalmain, to be agreeable
+to Nurse Rosemary Gray, and not to make her task too difficult. I dare
+not send her back. She is Dr. Brand's choice. Besides--think of the
+cruel blow to her in her profession. Think of it, man!--sent off at a
+moment's notice, after spending five minutes in her patient's room,
+because, forsooth, her voice maddened him! Poor child! What a statement
+to enter on her report! See her appear before the matron with it! Can't
+you be generous and unselfish enough to face whatever trial there may
+be for you in this bit of a coincidence?"
+
+Garth hesitated. "Dr. Mackenzie," he said at last, "will you swear to
+me that your description of this young lady was accurate in every
+detail?"
+
+"'Swear not at all,'" quoted Dr. Rob unctuously. "I had a pious mother,
+laddie. Besides I can do better than that. I will let you into a
+secret. I was reading from Sir Deryck's letter. I am no authority on
+women myself, having always considered dogs and horses less ensnaring
+and more companionable creatures. So I would not trust my own eyes, but
+preferred to give you Sir Deryck's description. You will allow him to
+be a fine judge of women. You have seen Lady Brand?"
+
+"Seen her? Yes," said Garth eagerly, a slight flush tinting his thin
+cheeks, "and more than that, I've painted her. Ah, such a
+picture!--standing at a table, the sunlight in her hair, arranging
+golden daffodils in an old Venetian vase. Did you see it, doctor, in
+the New Gallery, two years ago?"
+
+"No," said Dr. Rob. "I am not finding myself in galleries, new or old.
+But"--he turned a swift look of inquiry on Jane, who nodded--"Nurse
+Gray was telling me she had seen it."
+
+"Really?" said Garth, interested. "Somehow one does not connect nurses
+with picture galleries."
+
+"I don't know why not," said Dr. Rob. "They must go somewhere for their
+outings. They can't be everlastingly nosing shop windows in all
+weathers; so why not go in and have a look at your pictures? Besides,
+Miss Rosemary is a young lady of parts. Sir Deryck assures me she is a
+gentlewoman by birth, well-read and intelligent.--Now, laddie, what is
+it to be?"
+
+Garth considered silently.
+
+Jane turned away and gripped the mantelpiece. So much hung in the
+balance during that quiet minute.
+
+At length Garth spoke, slowly, hesitatingly. "If only I could quite
+disassociate the voice from the--from that other personality. If I
+could be quite sure that, though her voice is so extraordinarily like,
+she herself is not--" he paused, and Jane's heart stood still. Was a
+description of herself coming?--"is not at all like the face and figure
+which stand clear in my remembrance as associated with that voice."
+
+"Well," said Dr. Rob, "I'm thinking we can manage that for you. These
+nurses know their patients must be humoured. We will call the young
+lady back, and she shall kneel down beside your bed--Bless you! She
+won't mind, with me to play old Gooseberry!--and you shall pass your
+hands over her face and hair, and round her little waist, and assure
+yourself, by touch, what an elegant, dainty little person it is, in a
+blue frock and white apron."
+
+Garth burst out laughing, and his voice had a tone it had not yet held.
+"Of all the preposterous suggestions!" he said. "Good heavens! What an
+ass I must have been making of myself! And I begin to think I have
+exaggerated the resemblance. In a day or two, I shall cease to notice
+it. And, look here, doctor, if she really was interested in that
+portrait--Here, I say--where are you going?"
+
+"All right, sir," said Dr. Rob. "I was merely moving a chair over to
+the fireside, and taking the liberty of pouring out a glass of water.
+Really you are becoming abnormally quick of hearing. Now I am all
+attention. What about the portrait?"
+
+"I was only going to say, if she the nurse, you know--is really
+interested in my portrait of Lady Brand, there are studies of it up in
+the studio, which she might care to see. If she brought them here and
+described them to me I could explain--But, I say, doctor. I can't have
+dainty young ladies in and out of my room while I'm in bed. Why
+shouldn't I get up and try that chair of yours? Send Simpson along; and
+tell him to look out my brown lounge-suit and orange tie. Good heavens!
+what a blessing to have the MEMORY of colours and of how they blend!
+Think of the fellows who are BORN blind. And please ask Miss Gray to go
+out in the pine wood, or on the moor, or use the motor, or rest, or do
+anything she likes. Tell her to make herself quite at home; but on no
+account to come up here until Simpson reports me ready."
+
+"You may rely on Nurse Gray to be most discreet," said Dr. Rob; whose
+voice had suddenly become very husky. "And as for getting up, laddie,
+don't go too fast. You will not find your strength equal to much. But I
+am bound to tell you there is nothing to keep you in bed if you feel
+like rising."
+
+"Good-bye, doctor," said Garth, groping for his hand; "and I am sorry I
+shall never be able to offer to paint Mrs. Mackenzie!"
+
+"You'd have to paint her with a shaggy head, four paws, and the softest
+amber eyes in the world," said Dr. Rob tenderly; "and, looking out from
+those eyes, the most faithful, loving dog-heart in creation. In all the
+years we've kept house together she has never failed to meet me with a
+welcome, never contradicted me or wanted the last word, and never
+worried me for so much as the price of a bonnet. There's a woman for
+you!--Well, good-bye, lad, and God Almighty bless you. And be careful
+how you go. Do not be surprised if I look in again on my way back from
+my rounds to see how you like that chair."
+
+Dr. Mackenzie held open the door. Jane passed noiselessly out before
+him. He followed, signing to her to precede him down the stairs.
+
+In the library, Jane turned and faced him. He put her quietly into a
+chair and stood before her. The bright blue eyes were moist, beneath
+the shaggy brows.
+
+"My dear," he said, "I feel myself somewhat of a blundering old fool.
+You must forgive me. I never contemplated putting you through such an
+ordeal. I perfectly understand that, while he hesitated, you must have
+felt your whole career at stake. I see you have been weeping; but you
+must not take it too much to heart that our patient made so much of
+your voice resembling this Miss Champion's. He will forget all about it
+in a day or two, and you will be worth more to him than a dozen Miss
+Champions. See what good you have done him already. Here he is wanting
+to get up and explain his pictures to you. Never you fear. You will
+soon win your way, and I shall be able to report to Sir Deryck what a
+fine success you have made of the case. Now I must see the valet and
+give him very full instructions. And I recommend you to go for a blow
+on the moor and get an appetite for lunch. Only put on something warmer
+than that. You will have no sick-room work to do; and having duly
+impressed me with your washableness and serviceableness, you may as
+well wear something comfortable to protect you from our Highland nip.
+Have you warmer clothing with you?"
+
+"It is the rule of our guild to wear uniform," said Jane; "but I have a
+grey merino."
+
+"Ah, I see. Well, wear the grey merino. I shall return in two hours to
+observe how he stands that move. Now, don't let me keep you."
+
+"Dr. Mackenzie," said Jane quietly, "may I ask why you described me as
+fair; and my very straight, heavy, plainly coiled hair, as fluffy,
+fly-away floss-silk?"
+
+Dr. Rob had already reached the bell, but at her question he stayed his
+hand and, turning, met Jane's steadfast eyes with the shrewd turquoise
+gleam of his own.
+
+"Why certainly you may ask, Nurse Rosemary Gray," he said, "though I
+wonder you think it necessary to do so. It was of course perfectly
+evident to me that, for reasons of his own, Sir Deryck wished to paint
+an imaginary portrait of you to the patient, most likely representing
+some known ideal of his. As the description was so different from the
+reality, I concluded that, to make the portrait complete, the two
+touches unfortunately left to me to supply, had better be as unlike
+what I saw before me as the rest of the picture. And now, if you will
+be good enough--" Dr. Rob rang the bell violently.
+
+"And why did you take the risk of suggesting that he should feel me?"
+persisted Jane.
+
+"Because I knew he was a gentleman," shouted Dr. Rob angrily. "Oh, come
+in, Simpson--come in, my good fellow--and shut that door! And God
+Almighty be praised that He made you and me MEN, and not women!"
+
+A quarter of an hour later, Jane watched him drive away, thinking to
+herself: "Deryck was right. But what a queer mixture of shrewdness and
+obtuseness, and how marvellously it worked out to the furtherance of
+our plans."
+
+But as she watched the dog-cart start off at a smart trot across the
+moor, she would have been more than a little surprised could she have
+overheard Dr. Rob's muttered remarks to himself, as he gathered up the
+reins and cheered on his sturdy cob. He had a habit of talking over his
+experiences, half aloud, as he drove from case to case; the two sides
+of his rather complex nature apparently comparing notes with each
+other. And the present conversation opened thus:
+
+"Now what has brought the Honourable Jane up here?" said Dr. Rob.
+
+"Dashed if I know," said Dr. Mackenzie.
+
+"You must not swear, laddie," said Dr. Rob; "you had a pious mother."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XX
+
+JANE REPORTS PROGRESS
+
+
+Letter from the Honourable Jane Champion to Sir Deryck Brand.
+
+Castle Gleneesh, N. B.
+
+My dear Deryck: My wires and post-cards have not told you much beyond
+the fact of my safe arrival. Having been here a fortnight, I think it
+is time I sent you a report. Only you must remember that I am a poor
+scribe. From infancy it has always been difficult to me to write
+anything beyond that stock commencement: "I hope you are quite well;"
+and I approach the task of a descriptive letter with an effort which is
+colossal. And yet I wish I might, for once, borrow the pen of a ready
+writer; because I cannot help knowing that I have been passing through
+experiences such as do not often fall to the lot of a woman.
+
+Nurse Rosemary Gray is getting on capitally. She is making herself
+indispensable to the patient, and he turns to her with a completeness
+of confidence which causes her heart to swell with professional pride.
+
+Poor Jane has got no further than hearing, from his own lips, that she
+is the very last person in the whole world he would wish should come
+near him in his blindness. When she was suggested as a possible
+visitor, he said: "Oh, my God, NO!" and his face was one wild,
+horrified protest. So Jane is getting her horsewhipping, Boy,
+and--according to the method of a careful and thoughtful judge, who
+orders thirty lashes of the "cat," in three applications of ten--so is
+Jane's punishment laid on at intervals; not more than she can bear at a
+time; but enough to keep her heart continually sore, and her spirit in
+perpetual dread. And you, dear, clever doctor, are proved perfectly
+right in your diagnosis of the sentiment of the case. He says her pity
+would be the last straw on his already heavy cross; and the expression
+is an apt one, her pity for him being indeed a thing of straw. The only
+pity she feels is pity for herself, thus hopelessly caught in the
+meshes of her own mistake. But how to make him realise this, is the
+puzzle.
+
+Do you remember how the Israelites were shut in, between Migdol and the
+sea? I knew Migdol meant "towers," but I never understood the passage,
+until I stood upon that narrow wedge of desert, with the Red Sea in
+front and on the left; the rocky range of Gebel Attaka on the right,
+towering up against the sky, like the weird shapes of an impregnable
+fortress; the sole outlet or inlet behind, being the route they had
+just travelled from Egypt, and along which the chariots and horsemen of
+Pharaoh were then thundering in hot pursuit. Even so, Boy, is poor Jane
+now tramping her patch of desert, which narrows daily to the measure of
+her despair. Migdol is HIS certainty that HER love could only be pity.
+The Red Sea is the confession into which she must inevitably plunge, to
+avoid scaling Migdol; in the chill waters of which, as she drags him in
+with her, his love is bound to drown, as waves of doubt and mistrust
+sweep over its head,--doubts which he has lost the power of removing;
+mistrust which he can never hope to prove to have been false and
+mistaken. And behind come galloping the hosts of Pharaoh; chance,
+speeding on the wheels of circumstance. At any moment some accident may
+compel a revelation; and instantly HE will be scaling rocky Migdol,
+with torn hands and bleeding feet; and she--poor Jane--floundering in
+the depths of the Red Sea. O for a Moses, with divine commission, to
+stretch out the rod of understanding love, making a safe way through;
+so that together they might reach the Promised Land! Dear wise old Boy,
+dare you undertake the role of Moses!
+
+But here am I writing like a page of Baedeker, and failing to report on
+actual facts.
+
+As you may suppose, Jane grows haggard and thin in spite of old
+Margery's porridge--which is "put on" every day after lunch, for the
+next morning's breakfast, and anybody passing "gives it a stir." Did
+you know that was the right way to make porridge, Deryck? I always
+thought it was made in five minutes, as wanted. Margery says that must
+be the English stuff which profanely goes by the name. (N.B. Please
+mark the self-control with which I repeat Scotch remarks, without
+rushing into weird spelling; a senseless performance, it seems to me.
+For if you know already how old Margery pronounces "porridge," you can
+read her pronunciation into the sentence; and if you do not know it, no
+grotesque spelling on my part could convey to your mind any but a
+caricatured version of the pretty Scotch accent with which Margery
+says: "Stir the porridge, Nurse Gray." In fact, I am agreeably
+surprised at the ease with which I understand the natives, and the
+pleasure I derive from their conversation; for, after wrestling with
+one or two modern novels dealing with the Highlands, I had expected to
+find the language an unknown tongue. Instead of which, lo! and behold,
+old Margery, Maggie the housemaid, Macdonald the gardener, and
+Macalister the game-keeper, all speak a rather purer English than I do;
+far more carefully pronounced, and with every R sounded and rolled.
+Their idioms are more characteristic than their accent. They say
+"whenever" for "when," and use in their verbs several quaint variations
+of tense.)
+
+But what a syntactical digression! Oh, Boy, the wound at my heart is so
+deep and so sore that I dread the dressings, even by your delicate
+touch. Where was I? Ah, the porridge gave me my loophole of escape.
+Well, as I was saying, Jane grows worn and thin, old Margery's porridge
+notwithstanding; but Nurse Rosemary Gray is flourishing, and remains a
+pretty, dainty little thing, with the additional charm of fluffy,
+fly-away floss-silk, for hair,--Dr. Rob's own unaided contribution to
+the fascinating picture. By the way, I was quite unprepared to find him
+such a character. I learn much from Dr. Mackenzie, and I love Dr. Rob,
+excepting on those occasions when I long to pick him up by the scruff
+of his fawn overcoat and drop him out of the window.
+
+On the point of Nurse Rosemary's personal appearance, I found it best
+to be perfectly frank with the household. You can have no conception
+how often awkward moments arose; as, for instance, in the library, the
+first time Garth came downstairs; when he ordered Simpson to bring the
+steps for Miss Gray, and Simpson opened his lips to remark that Nurse
+Gray could reach to the top shelf on her own tiptoes with the greatest
+ease, he having just seen her do it. Mercifully, the perfect training
+of an English man-servant saved the situation, and he merely said:
+"Yessir; certainly sir," and looked upon, me, standing silently by, as
+a person who evidently delighted in giving unnecessary trouble. Had it
+been dear old Margery with her Scotch tongue, which starts slowly, but
+gathers momentum as it rolls, and can never be arrested until the full
+flood of her thought has been poured forth, I should have been
+constrained to pick her up bodily in my dainty arms and carry her out.
+
+So I sent for Simpson and Margery to the dining-room that evening, when
+the master was safely out of ear-shot, and told them that, for reasons
+which I could not fully explain, a very incorrect description of my
+appearance had been given him. He thought me small and slim; fair and
+very pretty; and it was most important, in order to avoid long
+explanations and mental confusion for him, that he should not at
+present be undeceived. Simpson's expression of polite attention did not
+vary, and his only comment was: "Certainly, miss. Quite so." But across
+old Margery's countenance, while I was speaking, passed many shades of
+opinion, which, fortunately, by the time I had finished, crystallized
+into an approving smile of acquiescence. She even added her own
+commentary: "And a very good thing, too, I am thinking. For Master
+Garth, poor laddie, was always so set upon having beauty about him.
+'Master Garthie,' I would say to him, when he had friends coming, and
+all his ideas in talking over the dinner concerned the cleaning up of
+the old silver, and putting out of Valentine glass and Worstered china;
+'Master Garthie,' I would say, feeling the occasion called for the apt
+quoting of Scripture, 'it appears to me your attention is given
+entirely to the outside of the cup and platter, and you care nothing
+for all the good things that lie within.' So it is just as well to keep
+him deceived, Miss Gray." And then, as Simpson coughed tactfully behind
+his hand, and nudged her very obviously with his elbow, she added, as a
+sympathetic after-thought: "For, though a homey face may indeed be
+redeemed by its kindly expression, you cannot very well explain
+expression to the blind." So you see, Deryck, this shrewd old body, who
+has known Garth from boyhood, would have entirely agreed with the
+decision of three years ago.
+
+Well, to continue my report. The voice gave us some trouble, as you
+foresaw, and the whole plan hung in the balance during a few awful
+moments; for, though he easily accepted the explanation we had planned,
+he sent me out, and told Dr. Mackenzie my voice in his room would
+madden him. Dr. Rob was equal to the occasion, and won the day; and
+Garth, having once given in, never mentioned the matter again. Only,
+sometimes I see him listening and remembering.
+
+But Nurse Rosemary Gray has beautiful hours when poor anxious, yearning
+Jane is shut out. For her patient turns to her, and depends on her, and
+talks to her, and tries to reach her mind, and shows her his, and is a
+wonderful person to live with and know. Jane, marching about in the
+cold, outside, and hearing them talk, realises how little she
+understood the beautiful gift which was laid at her feet; how little
+she had grasped the nature and mind of the man whom she dismissed as "a
+mere boy." Nurse Rosemary, sitting beside him during long sweet hours
+of companionship, is learning it; and Jane, ramping up and down her
+narrowing strip of desert, tastes the sirocco of despair.
+
+And now I come to the point of my letter, and, though I am a woman, I
+will not put it in a postscript.
+
+Deryck, can you come up soon, to pay him a visit, and to talk to me? I
+don't think I can bear it, unaided, much longer; and he would so enjoy
+having you, and showing you how he had got on, and all the things he
+had already learned to do. Also you might put in a word for Jane; or at
+all events, get at his mind on the subject. Oh, Boy, if you COULD spare
+forty-eight hours! And a breath of the moors would be good for you.
+Also I have a little private plan, which depends largely for its
+fulfilment on your coming. Oh, Boy--come!
+
+Yours, needing you,
+
+Jeanette.
+
+
+From Sir Deryck Brand to Nurse Rosemary Gray, Castle Gleneesh, N. B.
+
+Wimpole Street.
+
+My dear Jeanette: Certainly I will come. I will leave Euston on Friday
+evening. I can spend the whole of Saturday and most of Sunday at
+Gleneesh, but must be home in time for Monday's work.
+
+I will do my best, only, alas! I am not Moses, and do not possess his
+wonder-working rod. Moreover, latest investigations have proved that
+the Israelites could not have crossed at the place you mention, but
+further north at the Bitter Lakes; a mere matter of detail, in no way
+affecting the extreme appositeness of your illustration, rather, adding
+to it; for I fear there are bitter waters ahead of you, my poor girl.
+
+Still I am hopeful, nay, more than hopeful,--confident. Often of late,
+in connection with you, I have thought of the promise about all things
+working together for good. Any one can make GOOD things work together
+for good: but only the Heavenly Father can bring good out of evil; and,
+taking all our mistakes and failings and foolishnesses, cause them to
+work to our most perfect well-being. The more intricate and involved
+this problem of human existence becomes, the greater the need to take
+as our own clear rule of life: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;
+and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge
+Him, and He shall direct thy paths." Ancient marching orders, and
+simple; but true, and therefore eternal.
+
+I am glad Nurse Rosemary is proving so efficient, but I hope we may not
+have to face yet another complication in our problem. Suppose our
+patient falls in love with dainty little Nurse Rosemary, where will
+Jane be then? I fear the desert would have to open its mouth and
+swallow her up. We must avert such a catastrophe. Could not Rosemary be
+induced to drop an occasional H, or to confess herself as rather "gone"
+on Simpson?
+
+Oh, my poor old girl! I could not jest thus, were I not coming shortly
+to your aid.
+
+How maddening it is! And you so priceless! But most men are either
+fools or blind, and one is both. Trust me to prove it to him,--to my
+own satisfaction and his,--if I get the chance.
+
+Yours always devotedly,
+
+Deryck Brand.
+
+
+From Sir Deryck Brand to Dr. Robert Mackenzie.
+
+Dear Mackenzie: Do you consider it to be advisable that I should
+shortly pay a visit to our patient at Gleneesh and give an opinion on
+his progress?
+
+I find I can make it possible to come north this week-end.
+
+I hope you are satisfied with the nurse I sent up.
+
+Yours very faithfully,
+
+Deryck Brand.
+
+From Dr. Robert Mackenzie to Sir Deryck Brand.
+
+Dear Sir Deryck: Every possible need of the patient's is being met by
+the capable lady you sent to be his nurse. I am no longer needed. Nor
+are you--for the patient. But I deem it exceedingly advisable that you
+should shortly pay a visit to the nurse, who is losing more flesh than
+a lady of her proportions can well afford.
+
+Some secret care, besides the natural anxiety of having the
+responsibility of this case, is wearing her out. She may confide in
+you. She cannot quite bring herself to trust in
+
+Your humble servant,
+
+Robert Mackenzie.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXI
+
+HARD ON THE SECRETARY
+
+
+Nurse Rosemary sat with her patient in the sunny library at Gleneesh. A
+small table was between them, upon which lay a pile of letters--his
+morning mail--ready for her to open, read to him, and pass across,
+should there chance to be one among them he wished to touch or to keep
+in his pocket.
+
+They were seated close to the French window opening on to the terrace;
+the breeze, fragrant with the breath of spring flowers, blew about
+them, and the morning sun streamed in.
+
+Garth, in white flannels, wearing a green tie and a button-hole of
+primroses, lay back luxuriously, enjoying, with his rapidly quickening
+senses, the scent of the flowers and the touch of the sun-beams.
+
+Nurse Rosemary finished reading a letter of her own, folded it, and put
+it in her pocket with a feeling of thankful relief. Deryck was coming.
+He had not failed her.
+
+"A man's letter, Miss Gray," said Garth unexpectedly.
+
+"Quite right," said Nurse Rosemary. "How did you know?"
+
+"Because it was on one sheet. A woman's letter on a matter of great
+importance would have run to two, if not three. And that letter was on
+a matter of importance."
+
+"Right again," said Nurse Rosemary, smiling. "And again, how did you
+know?"
+
+"Because you gave a little sigh of relief after reading the first line,
+and another, as you folded it and replaced it in the envelope."
+
+Nurse Rosemary laughed. "You are getting on so fast, Mr. Dalmain, that
+soon we shall be able to keep no secrets. My letter was from--"
+
+"Oh, don't tell me," cried Garth quickly, putting out his hand in
+protest. "I had no idea of seeming curious as to your private
+correspondence, Miss Gray. Only it is such a pleasure to report
+progress to you in the things I manage to find out without being told."
+
+"But I meant to tell you anyway," said Nurse Rosemary. "The letter is
+from Sir Deryck, and, amongst other things, he says he is coming up to
+see you next Saturday."
+
+"Ah, good!" said Garth. "And what a change he will find! And I shall
+have the pleasure of reporting on the nurse, secretary, reader, and
+unspeakably patient guide and companion he provided for me." Then he
+added, in a tone of suddenly awakened anxiety: "He is not coming to
+take you away, is he?"
+
+"No," said Nurse Rosemary, "not yet. But, Mr. Dalmain, I was wanting to
+ask whether you could spare me just during forty-eight hours; and Dr.
+Brand's visit would be an excellent opportunity. I could leave you more
+easily, knowing you would have his companionship. If I may take the
+week-end, leaving on Friday night, I could return early on Monday
+morning, and be with you in time to do the morning letters. Dr. Brand
+would read you Saturday's and Sunday's--Ah, I forgot; there is no
+Sunday post. So I should miss but one; and he would more than take my
+place in other ways."
+
+"Very well," said Garth, striving not to show disappointment. "I should
+have liked that we three should have talked together. But no wonder you
+want a time off. Shall you be going far?"
+
+"No; I have friends near by. And now, do you wish to attend to your
+letters?"
+
+"Yes," said Garth, reaching out his hand. "Wait a minute. There is a
+newspaper among them. I smell the printing ink. I don't want that. But
+kindly give me the rest."
+
+Nurse Rosemary took out the newspaper; then pushed the pile along,
+until it touched his hand.
+
+Garth took them. "What a lot!" he said, smiling in pleasurable
+anticipation. "I say, Miss Gray, if you profit as you ought to do by
+the reading of so many epistles written in every possible and
+impossible style, you ought to be able to bring out a pretty
+comprehensive 'Complete Letter-writer.' Do you remember the condolences
+of Mrs. Parker-Bangs? I think that was the first time we really laughed
+together. Kind old soul! But she should not have mentioned blind
+Bartimaeus dipping seven times in the pool of Siloam. It is always best
+to avoid classical allusions, especially if sacred, unless one has them
+accurately. Now--" Garth paused.
+
+He had been handling his letters, one by one; carefully fingering each,
+before laying it on the table beside him. He had just come to one
+written on foreign paper, and sealed. He broke off his sentence
+abruptly, held the letter silently for a moment, then passed his
+fingers slowly over the seal.
+
+Nurse Rosemary watched him anxiously. He made no remark, but after a
+moment laid it down and took up the next. But when he passed the pile
+across to her, he slipped the sealed letter beneath the rest, so that
+she should come to it last of all.
+
+Then the usual order of proceedings commenced. Garth lighted a
+cigarette--one of the first things he had learned to do for
+himself--and smoked contentedly, carefully placing his ash-tray, and
+almost unfailingly locating the ash, in time and correctly.
+
+Nurse Rosemary took up the first letter, read the postmark, and
+described the writing on the envelope. Garth guessed from whom it came,
+and was immensely pleased if, on opening, his surmise proved correct.
+There were nine to-day, of varying interest,--some from men friends,
+one or two from charming women who professed themselves ready to come
+and see him as soon as he wished for visitors, one from a blind asylum
+asking for a subscription, a short note from the doctor heralding his
+visit, and a bill for ties from a Bond Street shop.
+
+Nurse Rosemary's fingers shook as she replaced the eighth in its
+envelope. The last of the pile lay on the table. As she took it up,
+Garth with a quick movement flung his cigarette-end through the window,
+and lay back, shading his face with his hand.
+
+"Did I shoot straight, nurse?" he asked.
+
+She leaned forward and saw the tiny column of blue smoke rising from
+the gravel.
+
+"Quite straight," she said. "Mr. Dalmain, this letter has an Egyptian
+stamp, and the postmark is Cairo. It is sealed with scarlet
+sealing-wax, and the engraving on the seal is a plumed helmet with the
+visor closed."
+
+"And the writing?" asked Garth, mechanically and very quietly.
+
+"The handwriting is rather bold and very clear, with no twirls or
+flourishes. It is written with a broad nib."
+
+"Will you kindly open it, nurse, and tell me the signature before
+reading the rest of the letter."
+
+Nurse Rosemary fought with her throat, which threatened to close
+altogether and stifle her voice. She opened the letter, turned to the
+last page, and found the signature.
+
+"It is signed 'Jane Champion,' Mr. Dalmain," said Nurse Rosemary.
+
+"Read it, please," said Garth quietly. And Nurse Rosemary began.
+
+Dear Dal: What CAN I write? If I were with you, there would be so much
+I could say; but writing is so difficult, so impossible.
+
+I know it is harder for you than it would have been for any of us; but
+you will be braver over it than we should have been, and you will come
+through splendidly, and go on thinking life beautiful, and making it
+seem so to other people. _I_ never thought it so until that summer at
+Overdene and Shenstone when you taught me the perception of beauty.
+Since then, in every sunset and sunrise, in the blue-green of the
+Atlantic, the purple of the mountains, the spray of Niagara, the cherry
+blossom of Japan, the golden deserts of Egypt, I have thought of you,
+and understood them better, because of you. Oh, Dal! I should like to
+come and tell you all about them, and let you see them through my eyes;
+and then you would widen out my narrow understanding of them, and show
+them again to me in greater loveliness.
+
+I hear you receive no visitors; but cannot you make just one exception,
+and let me come?
+
+I was at the Great Pyramid when I heard. I was sitting on the piazza
+after dinner. The moonlight called up memories. I had just made up my
+mind to give up the Nile, and to come straight home, and write asking
+you to come and see me; when General Loraine turned up, with an English
+paper and a letter from Myra, and--I heard. Would you have come, Garth?
+
+And now, my friend, as you cannot come to me, may I come to you? If you
+just say: "COME," I will come from any part of the world where I may
+chance to be when the message reaches me. Never mind this Egyptian
+address. I shall not be there when you are hearing this. Direct to me
+at my aunt's town house. All my letters go there, and are forwarded
+unopened.
+
+LET ME COME. And oh, do believe that I know something of how hard it is
+for you. But God can "enable."
+
+Believe me to be,
+
+Yours, more than I can write,
+
+Jane Champion.
+
+Garth removed the hand which had been shielding his face.
+
+"If you are not tired, Miss Gray, after reading so many letters, I
+should like to dictate my answer to that one immediately, while it is
+fresh in my mind. Have you paper there? Thank you. May we begin?-- Dear
+Miss Champion ... I am deeply touched by your kind letter of sympathy
+... It was especially good of you to write to me from so far away amid
+so much which might well have diverted your attention from friends at
+home."
+
+A long pause. Nurse Rosemary Gray waited, pen in hand, and hoped the
+beating of her heart was only in her own ears, and not audible across
+the small table.
+
+"I am glad you did not give up the Nile trip but--"
+
+An early bee hummed in from the hyacinths and buzzed against the pane.
+Otherwise the room was very still.
+
+--"but of course, if you had sent for me I should have come."
+
+The bee fought the window angrily, up and down, up and down, for
+several minutes; then found the open glass and whirled out into the
+sunshine, joyfully.
+
+Absolute silence in the room, until Garth's quiet voice broke it as he
+went on dictating.
+
+"It is more than kind of you to suggest coming to see me, but--"
+
+Nurse Rosemary dropped her pen. "Oh, Mr. Dalmain," she said, "let her
+come."
+
+Garth turned upon her a face of blank surprise.
+
+"I do not wish it," he said, in a tone of absolute finality.
+
+"But think how hard it must be for any one to want so much to be near
+a--a friend in trouble, and to be kept away."
+
+"It is only her wonderful kindness of heart makes her offer to come,
+Miss Gray. She is a friend and comrade of long ago. It would greatly
+sadden her to see me thus."
+
+"It does not seem so to her," pleaded Nurse Rosemary. "Ah, cannot you
+read between the lines? Or does it take a woman's heart to understand a
+woman's letter? Did I read it badly? May I read it over again?"
+
+A look of real annoyance gathered upon Garth's face. He spoke with
+quiet sternness, a frown bending his straight black brows.
+
+"You read it quite well," he said, "but you do not do well to discuss
+it. I must feel able to dictate my letters to my secretary, without
+having to explain them."
+
+"I beg your pardon, sir," said Nurse Rosemary humbly. "I was wrong."
+
+Garth stretched his hand across the table, and left it there a moment;
+though no responsive hand was placed within it.
+
+"Never mind," he said, with his winning smile, "my kind little mentor
+and guide. You can direct me in most things, but not in this. Now let
+us conclude. Where were we? Ah--'to suggest coming to see me.' Did you
+put `It is most kind' or `It is more than kind?'"
+
+"'More than kind,'" said Nurse Rosemary, brokenly.
+
+"Right, for it is indeed more than kind. Only she and I can possibly
+know how much more. Now let us go on ... But I am receiving no
+visitors, and do not desire any until I have so mastered my new
+circumstances that the handicap connected with them shall neither be
+painful nor very noticeable to other people. During the summer I shall
+be learning step by step to live this new life, in complete seclusion
+at Gleneesh. I feel sure my friends will respect my wish in this
+matter. I have with me one who most perfectly and patiently is
+helping--Ah, wait!" cried Garth suddenly. "I will not say that. She
+might think--she might misunderstand. Had you begun to write it? No?
+What was the last word? 'Matter?' Ah yes. That is right. Full stop
+after 'matter.' Now let me think."
+
+Garth dropped his face into his hands, and sat for a long time absorbed
+in thought.
+
+Nurse Rosemary waited. Her right hand held the pen poised over the
+paper. Her left was pressed against her breast. Her eyes rested on that
+dark bowed head, with a look of unutterable yearning and of passionate
+tenderness. At last Garth lifted his face. "Yours very sincerely, Garth
+Dalmain;" he said. And, silently, Nurse Rosemary wrote it.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXII
+
+DR. ROB TO THE RESCUE
+
+
+Into the somewhat oppressive silence which followed the addressing and
+closing of the envelope, broke the cheery voice of Dr. Rob.
+
+"Which is the patient to-day? The lady or the gentleman? Ah, neither, I
+see. Both flaunt the bloom of perfect health and make the doctor shy.
+It is spring without, but summer within," ran on Dr. Rob gaily,
+wondering why both faces were so white and perturbed, and why there was
+in the air a sense of hearts in torment. "Flannels seem to call up
+boating and picnic parties; and I see you have discarded the merino,
+Nurse Gray, and returned to the pretty blue washables. More becoming,
+undoubtedly; only, don't take cold; and be sure you feed up well. In
+this air people must eat plenty, and you have been perceptibly losing
+weight lately. We don't want TOO airy-fairy dimensions."
+
+"Why do you always chaff Miss Gray about being small, Dr. Rob?" asked
+Garth, in a rather vexed tone. "I am sure being short is in no way
+detrimental to her."
+
+"I will chaff her about being tall if you like," said Dr. Rob, looking
+at her with a wicked twinkle, as she stood in the window, drawn up to
+her full height, and regarding him with cold disapproval.
+
+"I would sooner no comments of any kind were made upon her personal
+appearance," said Garth shortly; then added, more pleasantly: "You see,
+she is just a voice to me--a kind, guiding voice. At first I used to
+form mental pictures of her, of a hazy kind; but now I prefer to
+appropriate in all its helpfulness what I DO know, and leave unimagined
+what I do not. Did it ever strike you that she is the only person--bar
+that fellow Johnson, who belongs to a nightmare time I am quickly
+forgetting--I have yet had near me, in my blindness, whom I had not
+already seen; the only voice I have ever heard to which I could not put
+a face and figure? In time, of course, there will be many. At present
+she stands alone to me in this."
+
+Dr. Rob's observant eye had been darting about during this explanation,
+seeking to focus itself upon something worthy of minute examination.
+Suddenly he spied the foreign letter lying close beside him on the
+table.
+
+"Hello!" he said. "Pyramids? The Egyptian stamp? That's interesting.
+Have you friends out there, Mr. Dalmain?"
+
+"That letter came from Cairo," Garth replied; "but I believe Miss
+Champion has by now gone on to Syria." Dr. Rob attacked his moustache,
+and stared at the letter meditatively. "Champion?" he repeated.
+"Champion? It's an uncommon name. Is your correspondent, by any chance,
+the Honourable Jane?"
+
+"Why, that letter is from her," replied Garth, surprised. "Do you know
+her?" His voice vibrated eagerly.
+
+"Well," answered Dr. Rob, with slow deliberation, "I know her face, and
+I know her voice; I know her figure, and I know a pretty good deal of
+her character. I know her at home, and I know her abroad. I've seen her
+under fire, which is more than most men of her acquaintance can claim.
+But there is one thing I never knew until to-day and that is her
+handwriting. May I examine this envelope?" He turned to the
+window;--yes, this audacious little Scotchman had asked the question of
+Nurse Rosemary. But only a broad blue back met his look of inquiry.
+Nurse Rosemary was studying the view. He turned back to Garth, who had
+evidently already made a sign of assent, and on whose face was clearly
+expressed an eager desire to hear more, and an extreme disinclination
+to ask for it.
+
+Dr. Mackenzie took up the envelope and pondered it.
+
+"Yes," he said, at last, "it is like her,--clear, firm, unwavering;
+knowing what it means to say, and saying it; going where it means to
+go, and getting there. Ay, lad, it's a grand woman that; and if you
+have the Honourable Jane for your friend, you can be doing without a
+few other things."
+
+A tinge of eager colour rose in Garth's thin cheeks. He had been so
+starved in his darkness for want of some word concerning her, from that
+outer light in which she moved. He had felt so hopelessly cut off from
+all chance of hearing of her. And all the while, if only he had known
+it, old Robbie could have talked of her. He had had to question Brand
+so cautiously, fearing to betray his secret and hers; but with Dr. Rob
+and Nurse Gray no such precautions were needed. He could safely guard
+his secret, and yet listen and speak.
+
+"Where--when?" asked Garth.
+
+"I will tell you where, and I will tell you when," answered Dr. Rob,
+"if you feel inclined for a war tale on this peaceful spring morning."
+
+Garth was aflame With eagerness. "Have you a chair, doctor?" he said.
+"And has Miss Gray a chair?"
+
+"I have no chair, sir," said Dr. Rob, "because when I intend thoroughly
+to enjoy my own eloquence it is my custom to stand. Nurse Gray has no
+chair, because she is standing at the window absorbed in the view. She
+has apparently ceased to pay any heed to you and me. You will very
+rarely find one woman take much interest in tales about another. But
+you lean back in your own chair, laddie, and light a cigarette. And a
+wonderful thing it is to see you do it, too, and better than pounding
+the wall. Eh? All of which we may consider we owe to the lady who
+disdains us and prefers the scenery. Well, I'm not much to look at,
+goodness knows; and she can see you all the rest of the day. Now that's
+a brand worth smoking. What do you call it--'Zenith'? Ah, and
+'Marcovitch.' Yes; you can't better that for drawing-room and garden
+purposes. It mingles with the flowers. Lean back and enjoy it, while I
+smell gun-powder. For I will tell you where I first saw the Honourable
+Jane. Out in South Africa, in the very thick of the Boer war. I had
+volunteered for the sake of the surgery experience. She was out there,
+nursing; but the real thing, mind you. None of your dabbling in
+eau-de-cologne with lace handkerchiefs, and washing handsome faces when
+the orderlies had washed them already; making charming conversation to
+men who were getting well, but fleeing in dread from the dead or the
+dying. None of that, you may be sure, and none of that allowed in her
+hospital; for Miss Champion was in command there, and I can tell you
+she made them scoot. She did the work of ten, and expected others to do
+it too. Doctors and orderlies adored her. She was always called 'The
+Honourable Jane,' most of the men sounding the H and pronouncing the
+title as four syllables. Ay, and the wounded soldiers! There was many a
+lad out there, far from home and friends, who, when death came, died
+with a smile on his lips, and a sense of mother and home quite near,
+because the Honourable Jane's arm was around him, and his dying head
+rested against her womanly breast. Her voice when she talked to them?
+No,--that I shall never forget. And to hear her snap at the women, and
+order along the men; and then turn and speak to a sick Tommy as his
+mother or his sweetheart would have wished to hear him spoken to, was a
+lesson in quick-change from which I am profiting still. And that big,
+loving heart must often have been racked; but she was always brave and
+bright. Just once she broke down. It was over a boy whom she tried hard
+to save--quite a youngster. She had held him during the operation which
+was his only chance; and when it proved no good, and he lay back
+against her unconscious, she quite broke down and said: 'Oh, doctor,--a
+mere boy--and to suffer so, and then die like this!' and gathered him
+to her, and wept over him, as his own mother might have done. The
+surgeon told me of it himself. He said the hardest hearts in the tent
+were touched and softened. But, it was the only time the Honourable
+Jane broke down."
+
+Garth shielded his face with his hand. His half-smoked cigarette fell
+unheeded to the floor. The hand that had held it was clenched on his
+knee. Dr. Rob picked it up, and rubbed the scorched spot on the carpet
+carefully with his foot. He glanced towards the window. Nurse Rosemary
+had turned and was leaning against the frame. She did not look at him,
+but her eyes dwelt with troubled anxiety on Garth.
+
+"I came across her several times, at different centres," continued Dr.
+Rob; "but we were not in the same departments, and she spoke to me only
+once. I had ridden in, from a temporary overflow sort of place where we
+were dealing with the worst cases straight off the field, to the main
+hospital in the town for a fresh supply of chloroform. While they
+fetched it, I walked round the ward, and there in a corner was Miss
+Champion, kneeling beside a man whose last hour was very near, talking
+to him quietly, and taking measures at the same time to ease his pain.
+Suddenly there came a crash--a deafening rush--and another crash, and
+the Honourable Jane and her patient were covered with dust and
+splinters. A Boer shell had gone clean through the roof just over their
+heads. The man sat up, yelling with fear. Poor chap, you couldn't blame
+him; dying, and half under morphine. The Honourable Jane never turned a
+hair. 'Lie down, my man,' she said, 'and keep still.' 'Not here,'
+sobbed the man. 'All right,' said the Honourable Jane; 'we will soon
+move you.' Then she turned and saw me. I was in the most nondescript
+khaki, a non-com's jacket which I had caught up on leaving the tent,
+and various odds and ends of my outfit which had survived the wear and
+tear of the campaign. Also I was dusty with a long gallop. 'Here,
+serjeant,' she said, 'lend a hand with this poor fellow. I can't have
+him disturbed just now.' That was Jane's only comment on the passing of
+a shell within a few yards of her own head. Do you wonder the men
+adored her? She placed her hands beneath his shoulders, and signed to
+me to take him under the knees, and together we carried him round a
+screen, out of the ward, and down a short passage; turning unexpectedly
+into a quiet little room, with a comfortable bed, and photographs and
+books arranged on the tiny dressing-table. She said: 'Here, if you
+please, serjeant,' and we laid him on the bed. 'Whose is it?' I asked.
+She looked surprised at being questioned, but seeing I was a stranger,
+answered civilly: 'Mine.' And then, noting that he had dozed off while
+we carried him, added: 'And he will have done with beds, poor chap,
+before I need it.' There's nerve for you!--Well, that was my only
+conversation out there with the Honourable Jane. Soon after I had had
+enough and came home."
+
+Garth lifted his head. "Did you ever meet her at home?" he asked.
+
+"I did," said Dr. Rob. "But she did not remember me. Not a flicker of
+recognition. Well, how could I expect it? I wore a beard out there; no
+time to shave; and my jacket proclaimed me a serjeant, not a surgeon.
+No fault of hers if she did not expect to meet a comrade from the front
+in the wilds of--of Piccadilly," finished Dr. Rob lamely. "Now, having
+spun so long a yarn, I must be off to your gardener's cot in the wood,
+to see his good wife, who has had what he pathetically calls 'an
+increase.' I should think a decrease would have better suited the size
+of his house. But first I must interview Mistress Margery in the
+dining-room. She is anxious about herself just now because she 'canna
+eat bacon.' She says it flies between her shoulders. So erratic a
+deviation from its normal route on the part of the bacon, undoubtedly
+requires investigation. So, by your leave, I will ring for the good
+lady."
+
+"Not just yet, doctor," said a quiet voice from the window. "I want to
+see you in the dining-room, and will follow you there immediately. And
+afterwards, while you investigate Margery, I will run up for my bonnet,
+and walk with you through the woods, if Mr. Dalmain will not mind an
+hour alone."
+
+When Jane reached the dining-room, Dr. Robert Mackenzie was standing on
+the hearth-rug in a Napoleonic attitude, just as on the morning of
+their first interview. He looked up uncertainly as she came in.
+
+"Well?" he said. "Am I to pay the piper?"
+
+Jane came straight to him, with both hands extended.
+
+"Ah, serjeant!" she said. "You dear faithful old serjeant! See what
+comes of wearing another man's coat. And my dilemma comes from taking
+another woman's name. So you knew me all the time, from the first
+moment I came into the room?"
+
+"From the first moment you entered the room," assented Dr. Rob.
+
+"Why did you not say so?" asked Jane.
+
+"Well, I concluded you had your reasons for being 'Nurse Rosemary
+Gray,' and it did not come within my province to question your
+identity."
+
+"Oh, you dear!" said Jane. "Was there ever anything so shrewd, and so
+wise, and so bewilderingly far-seeing, standing on two legs on a
+hearth-rug before! And when I remember how you said: 'So you have
+arrived, Nurse Gray?' and all the while you might have been saying.
+'How do you do, Miss Champion? And what brings you up here under
+somebody else's name?"
+
+"I might have so said," agreed Dr. Rob reflectively; "but praise be, I
+did not."
+
+"But tell me" said Jane "why let it out now?"
+
+Dr. Rob laid his hand on her arm. "My dear, I am an old fellow, and all
+my life I have made it my business to know, without being told. You
+have been coming through a strain,--a prolonged period of strain,
+sometimes harder, sometimes easier, but never quite relaxed,--a strain
+such as few women could have borne. It was not only with him; you had
+to keep it up towards us all. I knew, if it were to continue, you must
+soon have the relief of some one with whom to share the secret,--some
+one towards whom you could be yourself occasionally. And when I found
+you had been writing to him here, sending the letter to be posted in
+Cairo (how like a woman, to strain at a gnat, after swallowing such a
+camel!), awaiting its return day after day, then obliged to read it to
+him yourself, and take down his dictated answer, which I gathered from
+your faces when I entered was his refusal of your request to come and
+see him, well, it seemed to me about time you were made to realise that
+you might as well confide in an old fellow who, in common with all the
+men who knew you in South Africa, would gladly give his right hand for
+the Honourable Jane."
+
+Jane looked at him, her eyes full of gratitude. For the moment she
+could not speak.
+
+"But tell me, my dear," said Dr. Rob, "tell me, if you can: why does
+the lad put from him so firmly that which, if indeed it might be his
+for the asking, would mean for him so great, so wonderful, so
+comforting a good?"
+
+"Ah, doctor," said Jane, "thereby hangs a tale of sad mistrust and
+mistake, and the mistrust and mistake, alas, were mine. Now, while you
+see Margery, I will prepare for walking; and as we go through the wood
+I will try to tell you the woeful thing which came between him and me
+and placed our lives so far apart. Your wise advice will help me, and
+your shrewd knowledge of men and of the human heart may find us a way
+out, for indeed we are shut in between Migdol and the sea."
+
+As Jane crossed the hall and was about to mount the stairs, she looked
+towards the closed library door. A sudden fear seized her, lest the
+strain of listening to that tale of Dr. Rob's had been too much for
+Garth. None but she could know all it must have awakened of memory to
+be told so vividly of the dying soldiers whose heads were pillowed on
+her breast, and the strange coincidence of those words, "A mere
+boy--and to suffer so!" She could not leave the house without being
+sure he was safe and well. And yet she instinctively feared to intrude
+when he imagined himself alone for an hour.
+
+Then Jane, in her anxiety, did a thing she had never done before. She
+opened the front door noiselessly, passed round the house to the
+terrace, and when approaching the open window of the library, trod on
+the grass border, and reached it without making the faintest sound.
+
+Never before had she come upon him unawares, knowing he hated and
+dreaded the thought of an unseen intrusion on his privacy.
+
+But now--just this once--
+
+Jane looked in at the window.
+
+Garth sat sideways in the chair, his arms folded on the table beside
+him, his face buried in them. He was sobbing as she had sometimes heard
+men sob after agonising operations, borne without a sound until the
+worst was over. And Garth's sob of agony was this: "OH, MY WIFE--MY
+WIFE--MY WIFE!"
+
+Jane crept away. How she did it she never knew. But some instinct told
+her that to reveal herself then, taking him at a disadvantage, when Dr.
+Rob's story had unnerved and unmanned him, would be to ruin all. "IF
+YOU VALUE YOUR ULTIMATE HAPPINESS AND HIS," Deryck's voice always
+sounded in warning. Besides, it was such a short postponement. In the
+calm earnest thought which would succeed this storm, his need of her,
+would win the day. The letter, not yet posted, would be rewritten. He
+would say "COME"--and the next minute he would be in her arms.
+
+So Jane turned noiselessly away.
+
+Coming in, an hour later, from her walk with Dr. Rob, her heart filled
+with glad anticipation, she found him standing in the window, listening
+to the countless sounds he was learning to distinguish. He looked so
+slim and tall and straight in his white flannels, both hands thrust
+deep into the pockets of his coat, that when he turned at her approach
+it seemed to her as if the shining eyes MUST be there.
+
+"Was it lovely in the woods?" he asked. "Simpson shall take me up there
+after lunch. Meanwhile, is there time, if you are not tired, Miss Gray,
+to finish our morning's work?"
+
+Five letters were dictated and a cheque written. Then Jane noticed that
+hers to him had gone from among the rest. But his to her lay on the
+table ready for stamping. She hesitated.
+
+"And about the letter to Miss Champion?" she said. "Do you wish it to
+go as it is, Mr. Dalmain?"
+
+"Why certainly," he said. "Did we not finish it?"
+
+"I thought," said Jane nervously, looking away from his blank face, "I
+thought perhaps--after Dr. Rob's story--you might--"
+
+"Dr. Rob's story could make no possible difference as to whether I
+should let her come here or not," said Garth emphatically; then added
+more gently: "It only reminded me--"
+
+"Of what?" asked Jane, her hands upon her breast.
+
+"Of what a glorious woman she is," said Garth Dalmain, and blew a long,
+steady cloud of smoke into the summer air.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIII
+
+THE ONLY WAY
+
+
+When Deryck Brand alighted at the little northern wayside station, he
+looked up and down the gravelled platform, more than half expecting to
+see Jane. The hour was early, but she invariably said "So much the
+better" to any plan which involved rising earlier than usual. Nothing
+was to be seen, however, but his portmanteau in the distance--looking
+as if it had taken up a solitary and permanent position where the guard
+had placed it--and one slow porter, who appeared to be overwhelmed by
+the fact that he alone was on duty to receive the train.
+
+There were no other passengers descending; there was no other baggage
+to put out. The guard swung up into his van as the train moved off.
+
+The old porter, shading his eyes from the slanting rays of the morning
+sun, watched the train glide round the curve and disappear from sight;
+then slowly turned and looked the other way,--as if to make sure there
+was not another coming,--saw the portmanteau, and shambled towards it.
+He stood looking down upon it pensively, then moved slowly round,
+apparently reading the names and particulars of all the various
+continental hotels at which the portmanteau had recently stayed with
+its owner.
+
+Dr. Brand never hurried people, He always said: "It answers best, in
+the long run, to let them take their own time. The minute or two gained
+by hurrying them is lost in the final results." But this applied
+chiefly to patients in the consulting-room; to anxious young students
+in hospital; or to nurses, too excitedly conscious at first of the fact
+that he was talking to them, to take in fully what he was saying. His
+habit of giving people, even in final moments, the full time they
+wanted, had once lost him an overcoat, almost lost him a train, and won
+him the thing in life he most desired. But that belongs to another
+story.
+
+Meanwhile he wanted his breakfast on this fresh spring morning. And he
+wanted to see Jane. Therefore, as porter and portmanteau made no
+advance towards him, the doctor strode down the platform.
+
+"Now then, my man!" he called.
+
+"I beg your pardon?" said the Scotch porter.
+
+"I want my portmanteau."
+
+"Would this be your portmanteau?" inquired the porter doubtfully.
+
+"It would," said the doctor. "And it and I would be on our way to
+Castle Gleneesh, if you would be bringing it out and putting it into
+the motor, which I see waiting outside."
+
+"I will be fetching a truck," said the porter. But when he returned,
+carefully trundling it behind him, the doctor, the portmanteau, and the
+motor were all out of sight.
+
+The porter shaded his eyes and gazed up the road.
+
+"I will be hoping it WAS his portmanteau," he said, and went back to
+his porridge.
+
+Meanwhile the doctor sped up into the hills, his mind alight with
+eagerness to meet Jane and to learn the developments of the last few
+days. Her non-appearance at the railway station filled him with an
+undefinable anxiety. It would have been so like Jane to have been
+there, prompt to seize the chance of a talk with him alone before he
+reached the house. He had called up, in anticipation, such a vivid
+picture of her, waiting on the platform,--bright, alert, vigorous, with
+that fresh and healthy vigour which betokens a good night's rest, a
+pleasant early awakening, and a cold tub recently enjoyed,--and the
+disappointment of not seeing her had wrought in him a strange
+foreboding. What if her nerve had given way under the strain?
+
+They turned a bend in the winding road, and the grey turrets of
+Gleneesh came in sight, high up on the other side of the glen, the moor
+stretching away behind and above it. As they wound up the valley to the
+moorland road which would bring them round to the house, the doctor
+could see, in the clear morning light, the broad lawn and terrace of
+Gleneesh, with its gay flower-beds, smooth gravelled walks, and broad
+stone parapet, from which was a drop almost sheer down into the glen
+below.
+
+Simpson received him at the hall door; and he just stopped himself in
+time, as he was about to ask for Miss Champion. This perilous approach
+to a slip reminded him how carefully he must guard words and actions in
+this house, where Jane had successfully steered her intricate course.
+He would never forgive himself if he gave her away.
+
+"Mr. Dalmain is in the library, Sir Deryck," said Simpson; and it was a
+very alert, clear-headed doctor who followed the man across the hall.
+
+Garth rose from his chair and walked forward to meet him, his right
+hand outstretched, a smile of welcome on his face, and so direct and
+unhesitating a course that the doctor had to glance at the sightless
+face to make sure that this lithe, graceful, easy-moving figure was
+indeed the blind man he had come to see. Then he noticed a length of
+brown silk cord stretched from an arm of the chair Garth had quitted to
+the door. Garth's left hand had slipped lightly along it as he walked.
+
+The doctor put his hand into the one outstretched, and gripped it
+warmly.
+
+"My dear fellow! What a change!"
+
+"Isn't it?" said Garth delightedly. "And it is entirely she who has
+worked it,--the capital little woman you sent up to me. I want to tell
+you how first-rate she is." He had reached his chair again, and found
+and drew forward for the doctor the one in which Jane usually sat,
+"this is her own idea." He unhitched the cord, and let it fall to the
+floor, a fine string remaining attached to it and to the chair, by
+which he could draw it up again at will. "There is one on this side
+leading to the piano, and one here to the window. Now how should you
+know them apart?"
+
+"They are brown, purple, and orange," replied the doctor.
+
+"Yes," said Garth. "You know them by the colours, but I distinguish
+them by a slight difference in the thickness and in the texture, which
+you could not see, but which I can feel. And I enjoy thinking of the
+colours, too. And sometimes I wear ties and things to match them. You
+see, I know exactly how they look; and it was so like her to remember
+that. An ordinary nurse would have put red, green, and blue, and I
+should have sat and hated the thought of them knowing how vilely they
+must be clashing with my Persian carpet. But she understands how much
+colours mean to me, even though I cannot see them."
+
+"I conclude that by 'she' you mean Nurse Rosemary," said the doctor. "I
+am glad she is a success."
+
+"A success!" exclaimed Garth. "Why, she helped me to live again! I am
+ashamed to remember how at the bottom of all things I was when you came
+up before, Brand,--just pounding the wall, as old Robbie expresses it.
+You must have thought me a fool and a coward."
+
+"I thought you neither, my dear fellow. You were coming through a
+stiffer fight than any of us have been called to face. Thank God, you
+have won."
+
+"I owe a lot to you, Brand, and still more to Miss Gray. I wish she
+were here to see you. She is away for the week-end."
+
+"Away! J--just now?" exclaimed the doctor, almost surprised into
+another slip.
+
+"Yes; she went last night. She is week-ending in the neighbourhood. She
+said she was not going far, and should be back with me early on Monday
+morning. But she seemed to want a change of scene, and thought this a
+good opportunity, as I shall have you here most of the time. I say,
+Brand, I do think it is extraordinarily good of you to come all this
+way to see me. You know, from such a man as yourself it is almost
+overwhelming."
+
+"You must not be overwhelmed, my dear chap; and, though I very truly
+came to see you, I am also up, about another old friend in the near
+neighbourhood in whom I am interested. I only mention this in order to
+be quite honest, and to lift from off you any possible burden of
+feeling yourself my only patient."
+
+"Oh, thanks!" said Garth. "It lessens my compunction without
+diminishing my gratitude. And now you must be wanting a brush up and
+breakfast, and here am I selfishly keeping you from both. And I say,
+Brand,"--Garth coloured hotly, boyishly, and hesitated,--"I am awfully
+sorry you will have no companion at your meals, Miss Gray being away. I
+do not like to think of you having them alone, but I--I always have
+mine by myself. Simpson attends to them."
+
+He could not see the doctor's quick look of comprehension, but the
+understanding sympathy of the tone in which he said: "Ah, yes. Yes, of
+course," without further comment, helped Garth to add: "I couldn't even
+have Miss Gray with me. We always take our meals apart. You cannot
+imagine how awful it is chasing your food all round your plate, and
+never sure it is not on the cloth, after all, or on your tie, while you
+are hunting for it elsewhere."
+
+"No, I can't imagine," said the doctor. "No one could who had not been
+through it. But can you bear it better with Simpson than with Nurse
+Rosemary? She is trained to that sort of thing, you know."
+
+Garth coloured again. "Well, you see, Simpson is the chap who shaves
+me, and gets me into my clothes, and takes me about; and, though it
+will always be a trial, it is a trial to which I am growing accustomed.
+You might put it thus: Simpson is eyes to my body; Miss Gray is vision
+to my mind. Simpson's is the only touch which cores to me in the
+darkness. Do you know, Miss Gray has never touched me,--not even to
+shake hands. I am awfully glad of this. I will tell you why presently,
+if I may. It makes her just a MIND and VOICE to me, and nothing more;
+but a wonderfully kind and helpful voice. I feel as if I could not live
+without her."
+
+Garth rang the bell and Simpson appeared.
+
+"Take Sir Deryck to his room; and he will tell you what time he would
+like breakfast. And when you have seen to it all, Simpson, I will go
+out for a turn. Then I shall be free, Brand, when you are. But do not
+give me any more time this morning if you ought to be resting, or out
+on the moors having a holiday from minds and men."
+
+The doctor tubbed and got into his knickerbockers and an old Norfolk
+jacket; then found his way to the dining-room, and did full justice to
+an excellent breakfast. He was still pondering the problem of Jane, and
+at the same time wondering in another compartment of his mind in what
+sort of machine old Margery made her excellent coffee, when that good
+lady appeared, enveloped in an air of mystery, and the doctor
+immediately propounded the question.
+
+"A jug," said old Margery. "And would you be coming with me, Sir
+Deryck,--and softly, whenever you have finished your breakfast?"
+
+"Softly," said Margery again, as they crossed the hall, the doctor's
+tall figure closely following in her portly wake. After mounting a few
+stairs she turned to whisper impressively: "It is not what ye make it
+IN; it is HOW ye make it." She ascended a few more steps, then turned
+to say: "It all hangs upon the word FRESH," and went on mounting.
+"Freshly roasted--freshly ground--water--freshly-boiled--" said old
+Margery, reaching the topmost stair somewhat breathless; then turning,
+bustled along a rather dark passage, thickly carpeted, and hung with
+old armour and pictures.
+
+"Where are we going, Mistress Margery?" asked the doctor, adapting his
+stride to her trot--one to two.
+
+"You will be seeing whenever we get there, Sir Deryck," said Margery.
+"And never touch it with metal, Sir Deryck. Pop it into an earthenware
+jug, pour your boiling water straight upon it, stir it with a wooden
+spoon, set it on the hob ten minutes to settle; the grounds will all go
+to the bottom, though you might not think it; and you pour it
+out--fragrant, strong, and clear. But the secret is, fresh, fresh,
+fresh, and don't stint your coffee."
+
+Old Margery paused before a door at the end of the passage, knocked
+lightly; then looked up at the doctor with her hand on the door-handle,
+and an expression of pleading earnestness in her faithful Scotch eyes.
+
+"And you will not forget the wooden spoon, Sir Deryck?"
+
+The doctor looked down into the kind old face raised to his in the dim
+light. "I will not forget the wooden spoon, Mistress Margery," he said,
+gravely. And old Margery, turning the handle whispered mysteriously
+into the half-opened doorway: "It will be Sir Deryck, Miss Gray," and
+ushered the doctor into a cosy little sitting-room.
+
+A bright fire burned in the grate. In a high-backed arm-chair in front
+of it sat Jane, with her feet on the fender. He could only see the top
+of her head, and her long grey knees; but both were unmistakably Jane's:
+
+"Oh, Dicky!" she said, and a great thankfulness was in her voice, "is
+it you? Oh, come in, Boy, and shut the door. Are we alone? Come round
+here quick and shake hands, or I shall be plunging about trying to find
+you."
+
+In a moment the doctor had reached the hearth-rug, dropped on one knee
+in front of the large chair, and took the vaguely groping hands held
+out to him.
+
+"Jeanette?" he said. "Jeanette!" And then surprise and emotion silenced
+him.
+
+Jane's eyes were securely bandaged. A black silk scarf, folded in four
+thicknesses, was firmly tied at the back of her smooth coils of hair.
+There was a pathetic helplessness about her large capable figure,
+sitting alone, in this bright little sitting-room, doing nothing.
+
+"Jeanette!" said the doctor, for the third time. "And you call this
+week-ending?"
+
+"Dear," said Jane, "I have gone into Sightless Land for my week-end.
+Oh, Deryck, I had to do it. The only way really to help him is to know
+exactly what it means, in all the small, trying details. I never had
+much imagination, and I have exhausted what little I had. And he never
+complains, or explains how things come hardest. So the only way to find
+out is to have forty-eight hours of it one's self. Old Margery and
+Simpson quite enter into it, and are helping me splendidly. Simpson
+keeps the coast clear if we want to come down or go out; because with
+two blind people about, it would be a complication if they ran into one
+another. Margery helps me with all the things in which I am helpless;
+and, oh Dicky, you would never believe how many they are! And the
+awful, awful dark--a black curtain always in front of you, sometimes
+seeming hard and firm, like a wall of coal, within an inch of your
+face; sometimes sinking away into soft depths of blackness--miles and
+miles of distant, silent, horrible darkness; until you feel you must
+fall forward into it and be submerged and overwhelmed. And out of that
+darkness come voices. And if they speak loudly, they hit you like
+tapping hammers; and if they murmur indistinctly, they madden you
+because you can't SEE what is causing it. You can't see that they are
+holding pins in their mouths, and that therefore they are mumbling; or
+that they are half under the bed, trying to get out something which has
+rolled there, and therefore the voice seems to come from somewhere
+beneath the earth. And, because you cannot see these things to account
+for it, the variableness of sound torments you. Ah!--and the waking in
+the morning to the same blackness as you have had all night! I have
+experienced it just once,--I began my darkness before dinner last
+night,--and I assure you, Deryck, I dread to-morrow morning. Think what
+it must be to wake to that always, with no prospect of ever again
+seeing the sunlight! And then the meals--"
+
+"What! You keep it on?" The doctor's voice sounded rather strained.
+
+"Of course," said Jane. "And you cannot imagine the humiliation of
+following your food all round the plate, and then finding it on the
+table-cloth; of being quite sure there was a last bit somewhere, and
+when you had given up the search and gone on to another course,
+discovering it, eventually, in your lap. I do not wonder my poor boy
+would not let me come to his meals. But after this I believe he will,
+and I shall know exactly how to help him and how to arrange so that
+very soon he will have no difficulty. Oh, Dicky, I had to do it! There
+was no other way."
+
+"Yes," said the doctor quietly, "you had to do it." And Jane in her
+blindness could not see the working of his face, as he added below his
+breath: "You being YOU, dear, there was no other way."
+
+"Ah, how glad I am you realise the necessity, Deryck! I had so feared
+you might think it useless or foolish. And it was now or never; because
+I trust--if he forgives me--this will be the only week-end I shall ever
+have to spend away from him. Boy, do you think he will forgive me?"
+
+It was fortunate Jane was blind: The doctor swallowed a word, then:
+"Hush, dear," he said. "You make me sigh for the duchess's parrot. And
+I shall do no good here, if I lose patience with Dalmain. Now tell me;
+you really never remove that bandage?"
+
+"Only to wash my face," replied Jane, smiling. "I can trust myself not
+to peep for two minutes. And last night I found it made my head so hot
+that I could not sleep; so I slipped it off for an hour or two, but
+woke and put it on again before dawn."
+
+"And you mean to wear it until to-morrow morning?"
+
+Jane smiled rather wistfully. She knew what was involved in that
+question.
+
+"Until to-morrow night, Boy," she answered gently.
+
+"But, Jeanette," exclaimed the doctor, in indignant protest; "surely
+you will see me before I go! My dear girl, would it not be carrying the
+experiment unnecessarily far?"
+
+"Ah, no," said Jane, leaning towards him with her pathetic bandaged
+eyes. "Don't you see, dear, you give me the chance of passing through
+what will in time be one of his hardest experiences, when his dearest
+friends will come and go, and be to him only voice and touch; their
+faces unseen and but dimly remembered? Deryck, just because this
+hearing and not seeing you IS so hard, I realise how it is enriching me
+in what I can share with him. He must not have to say: 'Ah, but you saw
+him before he left.' I want to be able to say: 'He came and went,--my
+greatest friend,--and I did not see him at all.'"
+
+The doctor walked over to the window and stood there, whistling softly.
+Jane knew he was fighting down his own vexation. She waited patiently.
+Presently the whistling stopped and she heard him laugh. Then he came
+back and sat down near her.
+
+"You always were a THOROUGH old thing!" he said.
+
+"No half-measures would do. I suppose I must agree."
+
+Jane reached out for his hand. "Ah, Boy," she said, "now you will help
+me. But I never before knew you so nearly selfish."
+
+"The 'other man' is always a problem," said the doctor. "We male
+brutes, by nature, always want to be first with all our women; not
+merely with the one, but with all those in whom we consider, sometimes
+with egregious presumption, that we hold a right. You see it
+everywhere,--fathers towards their daughters, brothers as regards their
+sisters, friends in a friendship. The 'other man,' when he arrives, is
+always a pill to swallow. It is only natural, I suppose; but it is
+fallen nature and therefore to be surmounted. Now let me go and forage
+for your hat and coat, and take you out upon the moors. No? Why not? I
+often find things for Flower, so really I know likely places in which
+to search. Oh, all right! I will send Margery. But don't be long. And
+you need not be afraid of Dalmain hearing us, for I saw him just now
+walking briskly up and down the terrace, with only an occasional touch
+of his cane against the parapet. How much you have already
+accomplished! We shall talk more freely out on the moor; and, as I
+march you along, we can find out tips which may be useful when the time
+comes for you to lead the 'other man' about. Only do be careful how you
+come downstairs with old Margery. Think if you fell upon her, Jane! She
+does make such excellent coffee!"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIV
+
+THE MAN'S POINT OF VIEW
+
+
+A deep peace reigned in the library at Gleneesh. Garth and Deryck sat
+together and smoked in complete fellowship, enjoying that sense of calm
+content which follows an excellent dinner and a day spent in moorland
+air.
+
+Jane, sitting upstairs in her self-imposed darkness, with nothing to do
+but listen, fancied she could hear the low hum of quiet voices in the
+room beneath, carrying on a more or less continuous conversation.
+
+It was a pity she could not see them as they sat together, each looking
+his very best,--Garth in the dinner jacket which suited his slight
+upright figure so well; the doctor in immaculate evening clothes of the
+latest cut and fashion, which he had taken the trouble to bring,
+knowing Jane expected the men of her acquaintance to be punctilious in
+the matter of evening dress, and little dreaming she would have,
+literally, no eyes for him.
+
+And indeed the doctor himself was fastidious to a degree where clothes
+were concerned, and always well groomed and unquestionably correct in
+cut and fashion, excepting in the case of his favourite old Norfolk
+jacket. This he kept for occasions when he intended to be what he
+called "happy and glorious," though Lady Brand made gentle but
+persistent attempts to dispose of it.
+
+The old Norfolk jacket had walked the moors that morning with Jane. She
+had recognised the feel of it as he drew her hand within his arm, and
+they had laughed over its many associations. But now Simpson was
+folding it and putting it away, and a very correctly clad doctor sat in
+an arm-chair in front of the library fire, his long legs crossed the
+one over the other, his broad shoulders buried in the depths of the
+chair.
+
+Garth sat where he could feel the warm flame of the fire, pleasant in
+the chill evening which succeeded the bright spring day. His chair was
+placed sideways, so that he could, with his hand, shield his face from
+his visitor should he wish to do so.
+
+"Yes," Dr. Brand was saying thoughtfully, "I can easily see that all
+things which reach you in that darkness assume a different proportion
+and possess a greatly enhanced value. But I think you will find, as
+time goes on, and you come in contact with more people, there will be a
+great readjustment, and you will become less consciously sensitive to
+sound and touch from others. At present your whole nervous system is
+highly strung, and responds with an exaggerated vibration to every
+impression made upon it. A highly strung nervous system usually
+exaggerates. And the medium of sight having been taken away, the other
+means of communication with the outer world, hearing and touch, draw to
+themselves an overplus of nervous force, and have become painfully
+sensitive. Eventually things will right themselves, and they will only
+be usefully keen and acute. What was it you were going to tell me about
+Nurse Rosemary not shaking hands?"
+
+"Ah, yes," said Garth. "But first I want to ask, Is it a rule of her
+order, or guild, or institution, or whatever it is to which she
+belongs, that the nurses should never shake hands with their patients?"
+
+"Not that I have ever heard," replied the doctor.
+
+"Well, then, it must have been Miss Gray's own perfect intuition as to
+what I want, and what I don't want. For from the very first she has
+never shaken hands, nor in any way touched me. Even in passing across
+letters, and handing me things, as she does scores of times daily,
+never once have I felt her fingers against mine."
+
+"And this pleases you?" inquired the doctor, blowing smoke rings into
+the air, and watching the blind face intently.
+
+"Ah, I am so grateful for it," said Garth earnestly. "Do you know,
+Brand, when you suggested sending me a lady nurse and secretary, I felt
+I could not possibly stand having a woman touch me."
+
+"So you said," commented the doctor quietly.
+
+"No! Did I? What a bear you must have thought me."
+
+"By no means," said the doctor, "but a distinctly unusual patient. As a
+rule, men--"
+
+"Ah, I dare say," Garth interposed half impatiently. "There was a time
+when I should have liked a soft little hand about me. And I dare say by
+now I should often enough have caught it and held it, perhaps kissed
+it--who knows? I used to do such things, lightly enough. But, Brand,
+when a man has known the touch of THE Woman, and when that touch has
+become nothing but a memory; when one is dashed into darkness, and that
+memory becomes one of the few things which remain, and, remaining,
+brings untold comfort, can you wonder if one fears another touch which
+might in any way dim that memory, supersede it, or take away from its
+utter sacredness?"
+
+"I understand," said the doctor slowly. "It does not come within my own
+experience, but I understand. Only--my dear boy, may I say it?--if the
+One Woman exists--and it is excusable in your case to doubt it, because
+there were so many--surely her place should be here; her actual touch,
+one of the things which remain."
+
+"Ah, say it," answered Garth, lighting another cigarette. "I like to
+hear it said, although as a matter of fact you might as well say that
+if the view from the terrace exists, I ought to be able to see it. The
+view is there, right enough, but my own deficiency keeps me from seeing
+it."
+
+"In other words," said the doctor, leaning forward and picking up the
+match which, not being thrown so straight as usual, had just missed the
+fire; "in other words, though She was the One Woman, you were not the
+One Man?"
+
+"Yes," said Garth bitterly, but almost beneath his breath. "I was 'a
+mere boy.'"
+
+"Or you thought you were not," continued the doctor, seeming not to
+have heard the last remark. "As a matter of fact, you are always the
+One Man to the One Woman, unless another is before you in the field.
+Only it may take time and patience to prove it to her."
+
+Garth sat up and turned a face of blank surprise towards the doctor.
+"What an extraordinary statement!" he said. "Do you really mean it?"
+
+"Absolutely," replied the doctor in a tone of quiet conviction. "If you
+eliminate all other considerations, such as money, lands, titles,
+wishes of friends, attraction of exteriors--that is to say, admiration
+of mere physical beauty in one another, which is after all just a
+question of comparative anatomy; if, freed of all this social and
+habitual environment, you could place the man and the woman in a mental
+Garden of Eden, and let them face one another, stripped of all shams
+and conventionalities, soul viewing soul, naked and unashamed; if under
+those circumstances she is so truly his mate, that all the noblest of
+the man cries out: 'This is the One Woman!' then I say, so truly is he
+her mate, that he cannot fail to be the One Man; only he must have the
+confidence required to prove it to her. On him it bursts, as a
+revelation; on her it dawns slowly, as the breaking of the day."
+
+"Oh, my God," murmured Garth brokenly, "it was just that! The Garden of
+Eden, soul to soul, with no reservations, nothing to fear, nothing to
+hide. I realised her my WIFE, and called her so. And the next morning
+she called ME 'a mere boy,' whom she could not for a moment think of
+marrying. So what becomes of your fool theory, Brand?"
+
+"Confirmed," replied the doctor quietly. "Eve, afraid of the immensity
+of her bliss, doubtful of herself, fearful of coming short of the
+marvel of his ideal of her, fleeing from Adam, to hide among the trees
+of the garden. Don't talk about fool theories, my boy. The fool-fact
+was Adam, if he did not start in prompt pursuit."
+
+Garth sat forward, his hands clutching the arms of his chair. That
+quiet, level voice was awakening doubts as to his view of the
+situation, the first he had had since the moment of turning and walking
+down the Shenstone village church three years ago. His face was livid,
+and as the firelight played upon it the doctor saw beads of
+perspiration gleam on his forehead.
+
+"Oh, Brand," he said, "I am blind. Be merciful. Things mean so terribly
+much in the dark."
+
+The doctor considered. Could his nurses and students have seen the look
+on his face at that moment, they would have said that he was performing
+a most critical and delicate operation, in which a slip of the scalpel
+might mean death to the patient. They would have been right; for the
+whole future of two people hung in the balance; depending, in this
+crisis, upon the doctor's firmness and yet delicacy of touch. This
+strained white face in the firelight, with its beads of mental agony
+and its appealing "I am blind," had not entered into the doctor's
+calculations. It was a view of "the other man" upon which he could not
+look unmoved. But the thought of that patient figure with bandaged eyes
+sitting upstairs in suspense, stretching dear helpless hands to him,
+steadied the doctor's nerve. He looked into the fire.
+
+"You may be blind, Dalmain, but I do not want you to be a fool," said
+the doctor quietly.
+
+"Am I--was I--a fool?" asked Garth.
+
+"How can I judge?" replied the doctor. "Give me a clear account of the
+circumstances from your point of view, and I will give you my opinion
+of the case."
+
+His tone was so completely dispassionate and matter-of-fact, that it
+had a calming effect on Garth, giving him also a sense of security. The
+doctor might have been speaking of a sore throat, or a tendency to
+sciatica.
+
+Garth leaned back in his chair, slipped his hand into the breast-pocket
+of his jacket, and touched a letter lying there. Dare he risk it? Could
+he, for once take for himself the comfort of speaking of his trouble to
+a man he could completely trust, and yet avoid the danger of betraying
+her identity to one who knew her so intimately?
+
+Garth weighed this, after the manner of a chess-player looking several
+moves ahead. Could the conversation become more explicit, sufficiently
+so to be of use, and yet no clue be given which would reveal Jane as
+the One Woman?
+
+Had the doctor uttered a word of pressure or suggestion, Garth would
+have decided for silence. But the doctor did not speak. He leaned
+forward and reached the poker, mending the fire with extreme care and
+method. He placed a fragrant pine log upon the springing flame, and as
+he did so he whistled softly the closing bars of Veni, Creator Spiritus.
+
+Garth, occupied with his own mental struggle, was, for once, oblivious
+to sounds from without, and did not realise why, at this critical
+moment, these words should have come with gentle insistence into his
+mind:
+
+    "Keep far our foes; give peace at home;
+     Where Thou art Guide, no ill can come."
+
+He took them as an omen. They turned the scale.
+
+"Brand," he said, "if, as you are so kind as to suggest, I give myself
+the extreme relief of confiding in you, will you promise me never to
+attempt to guess at the identity of the One Woman?"
+
+The doctor smiled; and the smile in his voice as he answered, added to
+Garth's sense of security.
+
+"My dear fellow," he said, "I never guess at other people's secrets. It
+is a form of mental recreation which does not appeal to me, and which I
+should find neither entertaining nor remunerative. If I know them
+already, I do not require to guess them. If I do not know them, and
+their possessors wish me to remain in ignorance, I would as soon think
+of stealing their purse as of filching their secret."
+
+"Ah, thanks," said Garth. "Personally, I do not mind what you know. But
+I owe it to her, that her name should not appear."
+
+"Undoubtedly," said the doctor. "Except in so far as she herself,
+chooses to reveal it, the One Woman's identity should always remain a
+secret. Get on with your tale, old chap. I will not interrupt."
+
+"I will state it as simply and as shortly as I can," began Garth. "And
+you will understand that there are details of which no fellow could
+speak.--I had known her several years in a friendly way, just staying
+at the same houses, and meeting at Lord's and Henley and all the places
+where those in the same set do meet. I always liked her, and always
+felt at my best with her, and thought no end of her opinion, and so
+forth. She was a friend and a real chum to me, and to lots of other
+fellows. But one never thought of love-making in connection with her.
+All the silly things one says to ordinary women she would have laughed
+at. If one had sent her flowers to wear, she would have put them in a
+vase and wondered for whom they had really been intended. She danced
+well, and rode straight; but the man she danced with had to be awfully
+good at it, or he found himself being guided through the giddy maze;
+and the man who wanted to be in the same field with her, must be
+prepared for any fence or any wall. Not that I ever saw her in the
+hunting-field; her love of life and of fair play would have kept her
+out of that. But I use it as a descriptive illustration. One was always
+glad to meet her in a house party, though one could not have explained
+why. It is quite impossible to describe her. She was just--well, just--"
+
+The doctor saw "just Jane" trembling on Garth's lips, and knew how
+inadequate was every adjective to express this name. He did not want
+the flood of Garth's confidences checked, so he supplied the needed
+words.
+
+"Just a good sort. Yes, I quite understand. Well?"
+
+"I had had my infatuations, plenty of them," went on the eager young
+voice. "The one thing I thought of in women was their exteriors. Beauty
+of all kinds--of any kind--crazed me for the moment. I never wanted to
+marry them, but I always wanted to paint them. Their mothers, and
+aunts, and other old dowagers in the house parties used to think I
+meant marriage, but the girls themselves knew better. I don't believe a
+girl now walks this earth who would accuse me of flirting. I admired
+their beauty, and they knew it, and they knew that was all my
+admiration meant. It was a pleasant experience at the time, and, in
+several instances, helped forward good marriages later on. Pauline
+Lister was apportioned to me for two whole seasons, but she eventually
+married the man on whose jolly old staircase I painted her. Why didn't
+I come a cropper over any of them? Because there were too many, I
+suppose. Also, the attraction was skin-deep. I don't mind telling you
+quite frankly: the only one whose beauty used to cause me a real pang
+was Lady Brand. But when I had painted it and shown it to the world in
+its perfection, I was content. I asked no more of any woman than to
+paint her, and find her paintable. I could not explain this to the
+husbands and mothers and chaperons, but the women themselves understood
+it well enough; and as I sit here in my darkness not a memory rises up
+to reproach me."
+
+"Good boy," said Deryck Brand, laughing. "You were vastly
+misunderstood, but I believe you."
+
+"You see," resumed Garth, "that sort of thing being merely skin-deep, I
+went no deeper. The only women I really knew were my mother, who died
+when I was nineteen, and Margery Graem, whom I always hugged at meeting
+and parting, and always shall hug until I kiss the old face in its
+coffin, or she straightens me in mine. Those ties of one's infancy and
+boyhood are among the closest and most sacred life can show. Well, so
+things were until a certain evening in June several years ago. She--the
+One Woman--and I were in the same house party at a lovely old place in
+the country. One afternoon we had been talking intimately, but quite
+casually and frankly. I had no more thought of wanting to marry her
+than of proposing to old Margery. Then--something happened,--I must not
+tell you what; it would give too clear a clue to her identity. But it
+revealed to me, in a few marvellous moments, the woman in her; the
+wife, the mother; the strength, the tenderness; the exquisite
+perfection of her true, pure soul. In five minutes there awakened in me
+a hunger for her which nothing could still, which nothing ever will
+still, until I stand beside her in the Golden City, where they shall
+hunger no more, neither thirst any more; and there shall be no more
+darkness, or depending upon sun, moon, or candle, for the glory of God
+shall lighten it; and there shall be no more sorrow, neither shall
+there be any more pain, for former things shall have passed away."
+
+The blind face shone in the firelight. Garth's retrospection was
+bringing him visions of things to come.
+
+The doctor sat quite still and watched the vision fade. Then he said:
+"Well?"
+
+"Well," continued the young voice in the shadow, with a sound in it of
+having dropped back to earth and finding it a mournful place; "I never
+had a moment's doubt as to what had happened to me. I knew I loved her;
+I knew I wanted her; I knew her presence made my day and her absence
+meant chill night; and every day was radiant, for she was there."
+
+Garth paused for breath and to enjoy a moment of silent retrospection.
+
+The doctor's voice broke in with a question, clear, incisive. "Was she
+a pretty woman; handsome, beautiful?"
+
+"A pretty woman?" repeated Garth, amazed: "Good heavens, no! Handsome?
+Beautiful? Well you have me there, for, 'pon my honour, I don't know."
+
+"I mean, would you have wished to paint her?"
+
+"I HAVE painted her," said Garth very low, a moving tenderness in his
+voice; "and my two paintings of her, though done in sadness and done
+from memory, are the most beautiful work I ever produced. No eye but my
+own has ever seen them, and now none ever will see them, excepting
+those of one whom I must perforce trust to find them for me, and bring
+them to me for destruction."
+
+"And that will be--?" queried the doctor.
+
+"Nurse Rosemary Gray," said Garth.
+
+The doctor kicked the pine log, and the flames darted up merrily. "You
+have chosen well," he said, and had to make a conscious effort to keep
+the mirth in his face from passing into his voice. "Nurse Rosemary will
+be discreet. Very good. Then we may take it the One Woman was
+beautiful?"
+
+But Garth looked perplexed. "I do not know," he answered slowly. "I
+cannot see her through the eyes of others. My vision of her, in that
+illuminating moment, followed the inspired order of things,--spirit,
+soul, and body. Her spirit was so pure and perfect, her soul so
+beautiful, noble, and womanly, that the body which clothed soul and
+spirit partook of their perfection and became unutterably dear."
+
+"I see," said the doctor, very gently. "Yes, you dear fellow, I see."
+(Oh, Jane, Jane! You were blind, without a bandage, in those days!)
+
+"Several glorious days went by," continued Garth. "I realise now that I
+was living in the glow of my own certainty that she was the One Woman.
+It was so clear and sweet and wonderful to me, that I never dreamed of
+it not being equally clear to her. We did a lot of music together for
+pure enjoyment; we talked of other people for the fun of it; we enjoyed
+and appreciated each other's views and opinions; but we did not talk of
+ourselves, because we KNEW, at least _I_ knew, and, before God, I
+thought she did. Every time I saw her she seemed more grand and
+perfect. I held the golden key to trifling matters not understood
+before. We young fellows, who all admired her, used nevertheless to
+joke a bit about her wearing collars and stocks, top boots and short
+skirts; whacking her leg with a riding-whip, and stirring the fire with
+her toe. But after that evening, I understood all this to be a sort of
+fence behind which she hid her exquisite womanliness, because it was of
+a deeper quality than any man looking upon the mere surface of her had
+ever fathomed or understood. And when she came trailing down in the
+evening, in something rich and clinging and black, with lots of soft
+old lace covering her bosom and moving with the beating of her great
+tender heart; ah, then my soul rejoiced and my eyes took their fill of
+delight! I saw her, as all day long I had known her to be,--perfect in
+her proud, sweet womanliness."
+
+"Is he really unconscious," thought the doctor, "of how unmistakable a
+word-picture of Jane he is painting?"
+
+"Very soon," continued Garth, "we had three days apart, and then met
+again at another house, in a weekend party. One of the season's
+beauties was there, with whom my name was being freely coupled, and
+something she said on that subject, combined with the fearful blankness
+of those three interminable days, made me resolve to speak without
+delay. I asked her to come out on to the terrace that evening. We were
+alone. It was a moonlight night."
+
+A long silence. The doctor did not break it. He knew his friend was
+going over in his mind all those things of which a man does not speak
+to another man.
+
+At last Garth said simply, "I told her."
+
+No comment from the doctor, who was vividly reminded of Jane's
+"Then--it happened," when SHE had reached this point in the story.
+After a few moments of further silence, steeped in the silver moonlight
+of reminiscence for Garth; occupied by the doctor in a rapid piecing in
+of Jane's version; the sad young voice continued:
+
+"I thought she understood completely. Afterwards I knew she had not
+understood at all. Her actions led me to believe I was accepted, taken
+into her great love, even as she was wrapped around by mine. Not
+through fault of hers,--ah, no; she was blameless throughout; but
+because she did not, could not, understand what any touch of hers must
+mean to me. In her dear life, there had never been another man; that
+much I knew by unerring instinct and by her own admission. I have
+sometimes thought that she may have had an ideal in her girlish days,
+against whom, in after years, she measured others, and, finding them
+come short, held them at arm's length. But, if I am right in this
+surmise, he must have been a blind fool, unconscious of the priceless
+love which might have been his, had he tried to win it. For I am
+certain that, until that night, no man's love had ever flamed about
+her; she had never felt herself enveloped in a cry which was all one
+passionate, in-articulate, inexplicable, boundless need of herself.
+While I thought she understood and responded,--Heaven knows I DID think
+it,--she did not in the least understand, and was only trying to be
+sympathetic and kind."
+
+The doctor stirred in his chair, slowly crossed one leg over the other,
+and looked searchingly into the blind face. He was finding these
+confidences of the "other man" more trying than he had expected.
+
+"Are you sure of that?" he asked rather huskily.
+
+"Quite sure," said Garth. "Listen. I called her--what she was to me
+just then, what I wanted her to be always, what she is forever, so far
+as my part goes, and will be till death and beyond. That one word,--no,
+there were two,--those two words made her understand. I see that now.
+She rose at once and put me from her. She said I must give her twelve
+hours for quiet thought, and she would come to me in the village church
+next morning with her answer. Brand, you may think me a fool; you
+cannot think me a more egregious ass than I now think myself; but I was
+absolutely certain she was mine; so sure that, when she came, and we
+were alone together in the house of God, instead of going to her with
+the anxious haste of suppliant and lover, I called her to me at the
+chancel step as if I were indeed her husband and had the right to bid
+her come. She came, and, just as a sweet formality before taking her to
+me, I asked for her answer. It was this: 'I cannot marry a mere boy.'"
+
+Garth's voice choked in his throat on the last word. His head was bowed
+in his hands. He had reached the point where most things stopped for
+him; where all things had ceased forever to be as they were before.
+
+The room seemed strangely silent. The eager voice had poured out into
+it such a flow of love and hope and longing; such a revealing of a soul
+in which the true love of beauty had created perpetual youth; of a
+heart held free by high ideals from all playing with lesser loves, but
+rising to volcanic force and height when the true love was found at
+last.
+
+The doctor shivered at that anticlimax, as if the chill of an empty
+church were in his bones. He knew how far worse it had been than Garth
+had told. He knew of the cruel, humiliating question: "How old are
+you?" Jane had confessed to it. He knew how the outward glow of adoring
+love had faded as the mind was suddenly turned inward to
+self-contemplation. He had known it all as abstract fact. Now he saw it
+actually before him. He saw Jane's stricken lover, bowed beside him in
+his blindness, living again through those sights and sounds which no
+merciful curtain of oblivion could ever hide or veil.
+
+The doctor had his faults, but they were not Peter's. He never, under
+any circumstances, spoke BECAUSE he wist not what to say.
+
+He leaned forward and laid a hand very tenderly on Garth's shoulder.
+"Poor chap," he said. "Ah, poor old chap."
+
+And for a long while they sat thus in silence.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXV
+
+THE DOCTOR'S DIAGNOSIS
+
+
+"So you expressed no opinion? explained nothing? let him go on
+believing that? Oh, Dicky! And you might have said so much!"
+
+In the quiet of the Scotch Sabbath morning, Jane and the doctor had
+climbed the winding path from the end of the terrace, which zigzagged
+up to a clearing amongst the pines. Two fallen trees at a short
+distance from each other provided convenient seats in full sunshine,
+facing a glorious view,--down into the glen, across the valley, and
+away to the purple hills beyond. The doctor had guided Jane to the
+sunnier of the two trunks, and seated himself beside her. Then he had
+quietly recounted practically the whole of the conversation of the
+previous evening.
+
+"I expressed no opinion. I explained nothing. I let him continue to
+believe what he believes; because it is the only way to keep you on the
+pinnacle where he has placed you. Let any other reason for your conduct
+than an almost infantine ignorance of men and things be suggested and
+accepted, and down you will come, my poor Jane, and great will be the
+fall. Mine shall not be the hand thus to hurl you headlong. As you say,
+I might have said so much, but I might also have lived to regret it."
+
+"I should fall into his arms," said Jane recklessly, "and I would
+sooner be there than on a pinnacle."
+
+"Excuse me, my good girl," replied the doctor. "It is more likely you
+would fall into the first express going south. In fact, I am not
+certain you would wait for an express. I can almost see the Honourable
+Jane quitting yonder little railway station, seated in an empty
+coal-truck. No! Don't start up and attempt to stride about among the
+pine needles," continued the doctor, pulling Jane down beside him
+again. "You will only trip over a fir cone and go headlong into the
+valley. It is no use forestalling the inevitable fall."
+
+"Oh, Dicky," sighed Jane, putting her hand through his arm; and leaning
+her bandaged eyes against the rough tweed of his shoulder; "I don't
+know what has come to you to-day. You are not kind to me. You have
+harrowed my poor soul by repeating all Garth said last night; and,
+thanks to that terribly good memory of yours, you have reproduced the
+tones of his voice in every inflection. And then, instead of comforting
+me, you leave me entirely in the wrong, and completely in the lurch."
+
+"In the wrong--yes," said Deryck; "in the lurch--no. I did not say I
+would do nothing to-day. I only said I could do nothing last night. You
+cannot take up a wounded thing and turn it about and analyse it. When
+we bade each other good-night, I told him I would think the matter over
+and give him my opinion to-day. I will tell you what has happened to me
+if you like. I have looked into the inmost recesses of a very rare and
+beautiful nature, and I have seen what havoc a woman can work in the
+life of the man who loves her. I can assure you, last night was no
+pastime. I woke this morning feeling as if I had, metaphorically, been
+beaten black and blue."
+
+"Then what do you suppose _I_ feel?" inquired Jane pathetically.
+
+"You still feel yourself in the right--partly," replied Deryck. "And so
+long as you think you have a particle of justification and cling to it,
+your case is hopeless. It will have to be: 'I confess. Can you
+forgive?'"
+
+"But I acted for the best," said Jane. "I thought of him before I
+thought of myself. It would have been far easier to have accepted the
+happiness of the moment, and chanced the future."
+
+"That is not honest, Jeanette. You thought of yourself first. You dared
+not face the possibility of the pain to you if his love cooled or his
+admiration waned. When one comes to think of it, I believe every form
+of human love--a mother's only excepted--is primarily selfish. The best
+chance for Dalmain is that his helpless blindness may awaken the mother
+love in you. Then self will go to the wall."
+
+"Ah me!" sighed Jane. "I am lost and weary and perplexed in this
+bewildering darkness. Nothing seems clear; nothing seems right. If I
+could see your kind eyes, Boy, your hard voice would hurt less."
+
+"Well, take off the bandage and look," said the doctor.
+
+"I will not!" cried Jane furiously. "Have I gone through all this to
+fail at the last?"
+
+"My dear girl, this self-imposed darkness is getting on your nerves.
+Take care it does not do more harm than good. Strong remedies--"
+
+"Hush!" whispered Jane. "I hear footsteps."
+
+"You can always hear footsteps in a wood if you hearken for them," said
+the doctor; but he spoke low, and then sat quiet, listening.
+
+"I hear Garth's step," whispered Jane. "Oh, Dicky, go to the edge and
+look over. You can see the windings of the path below."
+
+The doctor stepped forward quietly and looked down upon the way they
+had ascended. Then he came back to Jane.
+
+"Yes," he said. "Fortune favours us. Dalmain is coming up the path with
+Simpson. He will be here in two minutes."
+
+"Fortune favours us? My dear Dicky! Of all mis-chances!" Jane's hand
+flew to her bandage, but the doctor stayed her just in time.
+
+"Not at all," he said. "And do not fail at the last in your experiment.
+I ought to be able to keep you two blind people apart. Trust me, and
+keep dark--I mean, sit still. And can you not understand why I said
+fortune favours us? Dalmain is coming for my opinion on the case. You
+shall hear it together. It will be a saving of time for me, and most
+enlightening for you to mark how he takes it. Now keep quiet. I promise
+he shall not sit on your lap. But if you make a sound, I shall have to
+say you are a bunny or a squirrel, and throw fir cones at you."
+
+The doctor rose and sauntered round the bend of the path.
+
+Jane sat on in darkness.
+
+"Hullo, Dalmain," she heard Deryck say. "Found your way up here? An
+ideal spot. Shall we dispense with Simpson? Take my arm."
+
+"Yes," replied Garth. "I was told you were up here, Brand, and followed
+you."
+
+They came round the bend together, and out into the clearing.
+
+"Are you alone?" asked Garth standing still. "I thought I heard voices."
+
+"You did," replied the doctor. "I was talking to a young woman."
+
+"What sort of young woman?" asked Garth.
+
+"A buxom young person," replied the doctor, "with a decidedly touchy
+temper."
+
+"Do you know her name?"
+
+"Jane," said the doctor recklessly.
+
+"Not 'Jane,'" said Garth quickly,--"Jean. I know her,--my gardener's
+eldest daughter. Rather weighed down by family cares, poor girl."
+
+"I saw she was weighed down," said the doctor. "I did not know it was
+by family cares. Let us sit on this trunk. Can you call up the view to
+mind?"
+
+"Yes," replied Garth; "I know it so well. But it terrifies me to find
+how my mental pictures are fading; all but one."
+
+"And that is--?" asked the doctor.
+
+"The face of the One Woman," said Garth in his blindness.
+
+"Ah, my dear fellow," said the doctor, "I have not forgotten my promise
+to give you this morning my opinion on your story. I have been thinking
+it over carefully, and have arrived at several conclusions. Shall we
+sit on this fallen tree? Won't you smoke? One can talk better under the
+influence of the fragrant weed."
+
+Garth took out his cigarette case, chose a cigarette, lighted it with
+care, and flung the flaming match straight on to Jane's clasped hands.
+
+Before the doctor could spring up, Jane had smilingly flicked it off.
+
+"What nerve!" thought Deryck, with admiration. "Ninety-nine women out
+of a hundred would have said 'Ah!' and given away the show. Really, she
+deserves to win."
+
+Suddenly Garth stood up. "I think we shall do better on the other log,"
+he said unexpectedly. "It is always in fuller sunshine." And he moved
+towards Jane.
+
+With a bound the doctor sprang in front of him, seized Jane with one
+strong hand and drew her behind him; then guided Garth to the very spot
+where she had been sitting.
+
+"How accurately you judge distance," he remarked, backing with Jane
+towards the further trunk. Then he seated himself beside Garth in the
+sunshine. "Now for our talk," said the doctor, and he said it rather
+breathlessly.
+
+"Are you sure we are alone?" asked Garth. "I seem conscious of another
+presence."
+
+"My dear fellow," said the doctor, "is one ever alone in a wood?
+Countless little presences surround us. Bright eyes peep down from the
+branches; furry tails flick in and out of holes; things unseen move in
+the dead leaves at our feet. If you seek solitude, shun the woods."
+
+"Yes," replied Garth, "I know, and I love listening to them. I meant a
+human presence. Brand, I am often so tried by the sense of an unseen
+human presence near me. Do you know, I could have sworn the other day
+that she--the One Woman--came silently, looked upon me in my blindness,
+pitied me, as her great tender heart would do, and silently departed."
+
+"When was that?" asked the doctor.
+
+"A few days ago. Dr. Rob had been telling us how he came across her
+in--Ah! I must not say where. Then he and Miss Gray left me alone, and
+in the lonely darkness and silence I felt her eyes upon me."
+
+"Dear boy," said the doctor, "you must not encourage this dread of
+unseen presences. Remember, those who care for us very truly and deeply
+can often make us conscious of their mental nearness, even when far
+away, especially if they know we are in trouble and needing them. You
+must not be surprised if you are often conscious of the nearness of the
+One Woman, for I believe--and I do not say it lightly, Dalmain--I
+believe her whole heart and love and life are yours."
+
+"Good Lord!" exclaimed Garth, and springing up, strode forward
+aimlessly.
+
+The doctor caught him by the arm. In another moment he would have
+fallen over Jane's feet.
+
+"Sit down, man," said the doctor, "and listen to me. You gain nothing
+by dashing about in the dark in that way. I am going to prove my words.
+But you must give me your calm attention. Now listen. We are confronted
+in this case by a psychological problem, and one which very likely has
+not occurred to you. I want you for a moment to picture the One Man and
+the One Woman facing each other in the Garden of Eden, or in the
+moonlight--wherever it was--if you like better. Now will you realise
+this? The effect upon a man of falling in love is to create in him a
+complete unconsciousness of self. On the other hand, the effect upon a
+woman of being loved and sought, and of responding to that love and
+seeking, is an accession of intense self-consciousness. He, longing to
+win and take, thinks of her only. She, called upon to yield and give,
+has her mind turned at once upon herself. Can she meet his need? Is she
+all he thinks her? Will she be able to content him completely, not only
+now but in the long vista of years to come? The more natural and
+unconscious of self she had been before, the harder she would be hit by
+this sudden, overwhelming attack of self-consciousness."
+
+The doctor glanced at Jane on the log six yards away. She had lifted
+her clasped hands and was nodding towards him, her face radiant with
+relief and thankfulness.
+
+He felt he was on the right tack. But the blind face beside him clouded
+heavily, and the cloud deepened as he proceeded.
+
+"You see, my dear chap, I gathered from yourself she was not of the
+type of feminine loveliness you were known to admire. Might she not
+have feared that her appearance would, after a while, have failed to
+content you?"
+
+"No," replied Garth with absolutely finality of tone. "Such a
+suggestion is unworthy. Besides, had the idea by any possibility
+entered her mind, she would only have had to question me on the point.
+My decision would have been final; my answer would have fully reassured
+her."
+
+"Love is blind," quoted the doctor quietly.
+
+"They lie who say so," cried Garth violently. "Love is so far-seeing
+that it sees beneath the surface and delights in beauties unseen by
+other eyes."
+
+"Then you do not accept my theory?" asked the doctor.
+
+"Not as an explanation of my own trouble," answered Garth; "because I
+know the greatness of her nature would have lifted her far above such a
+consideration. But I do indeed agree as to the complete oblivion to
+self of the man in love. How else could we ever venture to suggest to a
+woman that she should marry us? Ah, Brand, when one thinks of it, the
+intrusion into her privacy; the asking the right to touch, even her
+hand, at will; it could not be done unless the love of her and the
+thought of her had swept away all thoughts of self. Looking back upon
+that time I remember how completely it was so with me. And when she
+said to me in the church: 'How old are you?'--ah, I did not tell you
+that last night--the revulsion of feeling brought about by being turned
+at that moment in upon myself was so great, that my joy seemed to
+shrivel and die in horror at my own unworthiness."
+
+Silence in the wood. The doctor felt he was playing a losing game. He
+dared not look at the silent figure opposite. At last he spoke.
+
+"Dalmain, there are two possible solutions to your problem. Do you
+think it was a case of Eve holding back in virginal shyness, expecting
+Adam to pursue?"
+
+"Ah, no," said Garth emphatically. "We had gone far beyond all that.
+Nor could you suggest it, did you know her. She is too honest, too
+absolutely straight and true, to have deceived me. Besides, had it been
+so, in all these lonely years, when she found I made no sign, she would
+have sent me word of what she really meant."
+
+"Should you have gone to her then?" asked the doctor.
+
+"Yes," said Garth slowly. "I should have gone and I should have
+forgiven--because she is my own. But it could never have been the same.
+It would have been unworthy of us both."
+
+"Well," continued the doctor, "the other solution remains. You have
+admitted that the One Woman came somewhat short of the conventional
+standard of beauty. Your love of loveliness was so well known. Do you
+not think, during the long hours of that night,--remember how new it
+was to her to be so worshipped and wanted,--do you not think her
+courage failed her? She feared she might come short of what eventually
+you would need in the face and figure always opposite you at your
+table; and, despite her own great love and yours, she thought it wisest
+to avoid future disillusion by rejecting present joy. Her very love for
+you would have armed her to this decision."
+
+The silent figure opposite nodded, and waited with clasped hands.
+Deryck was pleading her cause better than she could have pleaded it
+herself.
+
+Silence in the woods. All nature seemed to hush and listen for the
+answer.
+
+Then:--"No," said Garth's young voice unhesitatingly. "In that case she
+would have told me her fear, and I should have reassured her
+immediately. Your suggestion is unworthy of my beloved."
+
+The wind sighed in the trees. A cloud passed before the sun. The two
+who sat in darkness, shivered and were silent.
+
+Then the doctor spoke. "My dear boy," he said, and a deep tenderness
+was in his voice: "I must maintain my unalterable belief that to the
+One Woman you are still the One Man. In your blindness her rightful
+place is by your side. Perhaps even now she is yearning to be here.
+Will you tell me her name, and give me leave to seek her out, hear from
+herself her version of the story; and, if it be as I think, bring her
+to you, to prove, in your affliction, her love and tenderness?"
+
+"Never!" said Garth. "Never, while life shall last! Can you not see
+that if when I had sight, and fame, and all heart could desire, I could
+not win her love, what she might feel for me now, in my helpless
+blindness, could be but pity? And pity from her I could never accept.
+If I was 'a mere boy' three years ago, I am 'a mere blind man' now, an
+object for kind commiseration. If indeed you are right, and she
+mistrusted my love and my fidelity, it is now out of my power forever
+to prove her wrong and to prove myself faithful. But I will not allow
+the vision of my beloved to be dimmed by these suggestions. For her
+completion, she needed so much more than I could give. She refused me
+because I was not fully worthy. I prefer it should be so. Let us leave
+it at that."
+
+"It leaves you to loneliness," said the doctor sadly.
+
+"I prefer loneliness," replied Garth's young voice, "to disillusion.
+Hark! I hear the first gong, Brand. Margery will be grieved if we keep
+her Sunday dishes waiting."
+
+He stood up and turned his sightless face towards the view.
+
+"Ah, how well I know it," he said. "When Miss Gray and I sit up here,
+she tells me all she sees, and I tell her what she does not see, but
+what I know is there. She is keen on art, and on most of the things I
+care about. I must ask for an arm, Brand, though the path is wide and
+good. I cannot risk a tumble. I have come one or two awful croppers,
+and I promised Miss Gray--The path is wide. Yes, we can walk two
+abreast, three abreast if necessary. It is well we had this good path
+made. It used to be a steep scramble."
+
+"Three abreast," said the doctor. "So we could--if necessary." He
+stepped back and raised Jane from her seat, drawing her cold hand
+through his left arm. "Now, my dear fellow, my right arm will suit you
+best; then you can keep your stick in your right hand."
+
+And thus they started down through the wood, on that lovely Sabbath
+morn of early summer; and the doctor walked erect between those two
+severed hearts, uniting, and yet dividing them.
+
+Just once Garth paused and listened. "I seem to hear another footstep,"
+he said, "besides yours and mine."
+
+"The wood is full of footsteps," said the doctor, "just as the heart is
+full of echoes. If you stand still and listen you can hear what you
+will in either."
+
+"Then let us not stand still," said Garth, "for in old days, if I was
+late for lunch, Margery used to spank me."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVI
+
+HEARTS MEET IN SIGHTLESS LAND
+
+
+"It will be absolutely impossible, Miss Gray, for me ever to tell you
+what I think of this that you have done for my sake."
+
+Garth stood at the open library window. The morning sunlight poured
+into the room. The air was fragrant with the scent of flowers, resonant
+with the songs of birds. As he stood there in the sunshine, a new look
+of strength and hopefulness was apparent in every line of his erect
+figure. He held out eager hands towards Nurse Rosemary, but more as an
+expression of the outgoing of his appreciation and gratitude than with
+any expectation of responsive hands being placed within them.
+
+"And here was I, picturing you having a gay weekend, and wondering
+where, and who your friends in this neighbourhood could be. And all the
+while you were sitting blindfold in the room over my head. Ah, the
+goodness of it is beyond words! But did you not feel somewhat of a
+deceiver, Miss Gray?"
+
+She always felt that--poor Jane. So she readily answered: "Yes. And yet
+I told you I was not going far. And my friends in the neighbourhood
+were Simpson and Margery, who aided and abetted. And it was true to say
+I was going, for was I not going into darkness? and it is a different
+world from the land of light."
+
+"Ah, how true that is!" cried Garth. "And how difficult to make people
+understand the loneliness of it, and how they seem suddenly to arrive
+close to one from another world; stooping from some distant planet,
+with sympathetic voice and friendly touch; and then away they go to
+another sphere, leaving one to the immensity of solitude in Sightless
+Land."
+
+"Yes," agreed Nurse Rosemary, "and you almost dread the coming, because
+the going makes the darkness darker, and the loneliness more lonely."
+
+"Ah, so YOU experienced that?" said Garth. "Do you know, now you have
+week-ended in Sightless Land, I shall not feel it such a place of
+solitude. At every turn I shall be able to say:--'A dear and faithful
+friend has been here.'"
+
+He laughed a laugh of such almost boyish pleasure, that all the mother
+in Jane's love rose up and demanded of her one supreme effort. She
+looked at the slight figure in white flannels, leaning against the
+window frame, so manly, so beautiful still, and yet so helpless and so
+needing the wealth of tenderness which was hers to give. Then, standing
+facing him, she opened her arms, as if the great preparedness of that
+place of rest, so close to him must, magnet-like, draw him to her; and
+standing thus in the sunlight, Jane spoke.
+
+Was she beautiful? Was she paintable? Would a man grow weary of such a
+look turned on him, of such arms held out? Alas! Too late! On that
+point no lover shall ever be able to pass judgment. That look is for
+one man alone. He only will ever bring it to that loving face. And he
+cannot pronounce upon its beauty in voice of rapturous content. He
+cannot judge. He cannot see. He is blind!
+
+"Mr. Dalmain, there are many smaller details; but before we talk of
+those I want to tell you the greatest of all the lessons I learned in
+Sightless Land." Then, conscious that her emotion was producing in her
+voice a resonant depth which might remind him too vividly of notes in
+The Rosary, she paused, and resumed in the high, soft edition of her
+own voice which it had become second nature to her to use as Nurse
+Rosemary: "Mr. Dalmain, it seems to me I learned to understand how that
+which is loneliness unspeakable to ONE might be Paradise of a very
+perfect kind for TWO. I realised that there might be circumstances in
+which the dark would become a very wonderful meeting-place for souls.
+If I loved a man who lost his sight, I should be glad to have mine in
+order to be eyes for him when eyes were needed; just as, were I rich
+and he poor, I should value my money simply as a thing which might be
+useful to him. But I know the daylight would often be a trial to me,
+because it would be something he could not share; and when evening
+came, I should long to say: 'Let us put out the lights and shut away
+the moonlight and sit together in the sweet soft darkness, which is
+more uniting than the light.'"
+
+While Jane was speaking, Garth paled as he listened, and his face grew
+strangely set. Then, as if under a reaction of feeling, a boyish flush
+spread to the very roots of his hair. He visibly shrank from the voice
+which was saying these things to him. He fumbled with his right hand
+for the orange cord which would guide him to his chair.
+
+"Nurse Rosemary," he said, and at the tone of his voice Jane's
+outstretched arms dropped to her sides; "it is kind of you to tell me
+all these beautiful thoughts which came to you in the darkness. But I
+hope the man who is happy enough to possess your love, or who is going
+to be fortunate enough to win it, will neither be so unhappy nor so
+unfortunate as to lose his sight. It will be better for him to live
+with you in the light, than to be called upon to prove the kind way in
+which you would be willing to adapt yourself to his darkness. How about
+opening our letters?" He slipped his hand along the orange cord and
+walked over to his chair.
+
+Then, with a sense of unutterable dismay, Jane saw what she had done.
+She had completely forgotten Nurse Rosemary, using her only as a means
+of awakening in Garth an understanding of how much her--Jane's--love
+might mean to him in his blindness. She had forgotten that, to Garth,
+Nurse Rosemary's was the only personality which counted in this
+conversation; she, who had just given him such a proof of her interest
+and devotion. And--O poor dear Garth! O bold, brazen Nurse
+Rosemary!--he very naturally concluded she was making love to him. Jane
+felt herself between Scylla and Charybdis, and she took a very prompt
+and characteristic plunge.
+
+She came across to her place on the other side of the small table and
+sat down. "I believe it was the thought of him made me realise this,"
+she said; "but just now I and my young man have fallen out. He does not
+even know I am here."
+
+Garth unbent at once, and again that boyish heightening of colour
+indicated his sense of shame at what he had imagined.
+
+"Ah, Miss Gray," he said eagerly, "you will not think it impertinent or
+intrusive on my part, but do you know I have wondered sometimes whether
+there was a happy man."
+
+Nurse Rosemary laughed. "Well, we can't call him a happy man just now,"
+she said, "so far as his thoughts of me are concerned. My whole heart
+is his, if he could only be brought to believe it. But a
+misunderstanding has grown up between us,--my fault entirely,--and he
+will not allow me to put it right."
+
+"What a fool!" cried Garth. "Are you and he engaged?"
+
+Nurse Rosemary hesitated. "Well--not exactly engaged," she said,
+"though it practically amounts to that. Neither of us would give a
+thought to any one else."
+
+Garth knew there was a class of people whose preliminary step to
+marriage was called "keeping company," a stage above the housemaid's
+"walking out," both expressions being exactly descriptive of the
+circumstances of the case; for, whereas pretty Phyllis and her swain go
+walking out of an evening in byways and between hedges, or along
+pavements and into the parks,--these keep each other company in the
+parlours and arbours of their respective friends and relations. Yet,
+somehow, Garth had never thought of Nurse Rosemary as belonging to any
+other class than his own. Perhaps this ass of a fellow, whom he already
+cordially disliked, came of a lower stratum; or perhaps the rules of
+her nursing guild forbade a definite engagement, but allowed "an
+understanding." Anyway the fact remained that the kind-hearted, clever,
+delightful little lady, who had done so much for him, had "a young man"
+of her own; and this admitted fact lifted a weight from Garth's mind.
+He had been so afraid lately of not being quite honest with her and
+with himself. She had become so necessary to him, nay, so essential,
+and by her skill and devotion had won so deep a place in his gratitude.
+Their relation was of so intimate a nature, their companionship so
+close and continuous; and into this rather ideal state of things had
+heavily trodden Dr. Rob the other day with a suggestion. Garth, alone
+with him, bad been explaining how indispensable Miss Gray had become to
+his happiness and comfort, and how much he dreaded a recall from her
+matron.
+
+"I fear they do not let them go on indefinitely at one case; but
+perhaps Sir Deryck can arrange that this should be an exception," said
+Garth.
+
+"Oh, hang the matron, and blow Sir Deryck," said Dr. Rob breezily. "If
+you want her as a permanency, make sure of her. Marry her, my boy! I'll
+warrant she'd have you!"
+
+Thus trod Dr. Rob, with heavily nailed boots, upon the bare toes of a
+delicate situation.
+
+Garth tried to put the suggestion out of his mind and failed. He began
+to notice thoughts and plans of Nurse Rosemary's for his benefit, which
+so far exceeded her professional duties that it seemed as if there must
+be behind them the promptings of a more tender interest. He put the
+thought away again and again, calling Dr. Rob an old fool, and himself
+a conceited ass. But again and again there came about him, with Nurse
+Rosemary's presence, the subtile surrounding atmosphere of a watchful
+love.
+
+Then, one night, he faced and fought a great temptation.
+
+After all why should he not do as Dr. Rob suggested? Why not marry this
+charming, capable, devoted nurse, and have her constantly about him in
+his blindness? SHE did not consider him "a mere boy." ... What had he
+to offer her? A beautiful home, every luxury, abundant wealth, a
+companionship she seemed to find congenial ... But then the Tempter
+overreached himself, for he whispered: "And the voice would be always
+Jane's. You have never seen the nurse's face; you never will see it.
+You can go on putting to the voice the face and form you adore. You can
+marry the little nurse, and go on loving Jane." ... Then Garth cried
+out in horror: "Avaunt, Satan!" and the battle was won.
+
+But it troubled his mind lest by any chance her peace of heart should
+be disturbed through him. So it was with relief, and yet with an
+unreasonable smouldering jealousy, that he heard of the young man to
+whom she was devoted. And now it appeared she was unhappy through her
+young man, just as he was unhappy through--no, because of--Jane.
+
+A sudden impulse came over him to do away forever with the thought
+which in his own mind had lately come between them, and to establish
+their intimacy on an even closer and firmer basis, by being absolutely
+frank with her on the matter.
+
+"Miss Gray," he said, leaning towards her with that delightful smile of
+boyish candour which many women had found irresistible, "it is good of
+you to have told me about yourself; and, although I confess to feeling
+unreasonably jealous of the fortunate fellow who possesses your whole
+heart, I am glad he exists, because we all miss something unless we
+have in our lives the wonderful experience of the One Woman or the One
+Man. And I want to tell you something, dear sweet friend of mine, which
+closely touches you and me; only, before I do so, put your hand in
+mine, that I may realise you in a closer intimacy than heretofore. You,
+who have been in Sightless Land, know how much a hand clasp means down
+here."
+
+Garth stretched his hand across the table, and his whole attitude was
+tense with expectation.
+
+"I cannot do that, Mr. Dalmain," said Nurse Rosemary, in a voice which
+shook a little. "I have burned my hands. Oh, not seriously. Do not look
+so distressed. Just a lighted match. Yes; while I was blind. Now tell
+me the thing which touches you and me."
+
+Garth withdrew his hand and clasped both around his knee. He leaned
+back in his chair, his face turned upwards. There was upon it an
+expression so pure, the exaltation of a spirit so lifted above the
+temptations of the lower nature, that Jane's eyes filled with tears as
+she looked at him. She realised what his love for her, supplemented by
+the discipline of suffering, had done for her lover.
+
+He began to speak softly, not turning towards her. "Tell me," he said,
+"is he--very much to you?"
+
+Jane's eyes could not leave the dear face and figure in the chair.
+Jane's emotion trembled in Nurse Rosemary's voice.
+
+"He is all the world to me," she said.
+
+"Does he love you as you deserve to be loved?"
+
+Jane bent and laid her lips on the table where his outstretched hand
+had rested. Then Nurse Rosemary answered: "He loved me far, FAR more
+than I ever deserved."
+
+"Why do you say 'loved'? Is not 'loves' the truer tense?"
+
+"Alas, no!" said Nurse Rosemary, brokenly; "for I fear I have lost his
+love by my own mistrust of it and my own wrong-doing."
+
+"Never!" said Garth. "'Love never faileth.' It may for a time appear to
+be dead, even buried. But the Easter morn soon dawns, and lo, Love
+ariseth! Love grieved, is like a bird with wet wings. It cannot fly; it
+cannot rise. It hops about upon the ground, chirping anxiously. But
+every flutter shakes away more drops; every moment in the sunshine is
+drying the tiny feathers; and very soon it soars to the tree top, all
+the better for the bath, which seemed to have robbed it of the power to
+rise."
+
+"Ah,--if my beloved could but dry his wings," murmured Nurse Rosemary.
+"But I fear I did more than wet them. I clipped them. Worse still,--I
+broke them."
+
+"Does he know you feel yourself so in the wrong?" Garth asked the
+question very gently.
+
+"No," replied Nurse Rosemary. "He will give me no chance to explain,
+and no opportunity to tell him how he wrongs himself and me by the view
+he now takes of my conduct."
+
+"Poor girl!" said Garth in tones of sympathy and comprehension. "My own
+experience has been such a tragedy that I can feel for those whose
+course of true love does not run smooth. But take my advice, Miss Gray.
+Write him a full confession. Keep nothing back. Tell him just how it
+all happened. Any man who truly loves would believe, accept your
+explanation, and be thankful. Only, I hope he would not come tearing up
+here and take you away from me!"
+
+Jane smiled through a mist of tears.
+
+"If he wanted me, Mr. Dalmain, I should have to go to him," said Nurse
+Rosemary.
+
+"How I dread the day," continued Garth, "when you will come and say to
+me: 'I have to go.' And, do you know, I have sometimes thought--you
+have done so much for me and become so much to me--I have sometimes
+thought--I can tell you frankly now--it might have seemed as if there
+were a very obvious way to try to keep you always. You are so immensely
+worthy of all a man could offer, of all the devotion a man could give.
+And because, to one so worthy, I never could have offered less than the
+best, I want to tell you that in my heart I hold shrined forever one
+beloved face. All others are gradually fading. Now, in my blindness, I
+can hardly recall clearly the many lovely faces I have painted and
+admired. All are more or less blurred and indistinct. But this one face
+grows clearer, thank God, as the darkness deepens. It will be with me
+through life, I shall see it in death, THE FACE OF THE WOMAN I LOVE.
+You said 'loved' of your lover, hesitating to be sure of his present
+state of heart. I can neither say 'love' nor 'loved' of my beloved. She
+never loved me. But I love her with a love which makes it impossible
+for me to have any 'best' to offer to another woman. If I could bring
+myself, from unworthy motives and selfish desires, to ask another to
+wed me, I should do her an untold wrong. For her unseen face would be
+nothing to me; always that one and only face would be shining in my
+darkness. Her voice would be dear, only in so far as it reminded me of
+the voice of the woman I love. Dear friend, if you ever pray for me,
+pray that I may never be so base as to offer to any woman such a husk
+as marriage with me would mean."
+
+"But--" said Nurse Rosemary. "She--she who has made it a husk for
+others; she who might have the finest of the wheat, the full corn in
+the ear, herself?"
+
+"She," said Garth, "has refused it. It was neither fine enough nor full
+enough. It was not worthy. O my God, little girl--! What it means, to
+appear inadequate to the woman one loves!"
+
+Garth dropped his face between his hands with a groan.
+
+Silence unbroken reigned in the library.
+
+Suddenly Garth began to speak, low and quickly, without lifting his
+head.
+
+"Now," he said, "now I feel it, just as I told Brand, and never so
+clearly before, excepting once, when I was alone. Ah, Miss Gray! Don't
+move! Don't stir! But look all round the room and tell me whether you
+see anything. Look at the window. Look at the door. Lean forward and
+look behind the screen. I cannot believe we are alone. I will not
+believe it. I am being deceived in my blindness. And yet--I am NOT
+deceived. I am conscious of the presence of the woman I love. Her eyes
+are fixed upon me in pity, sorrow, and compassion. Her grief at my woe
+is so great that it almost enfolds me, as I had dreamed her love would
+do ... O my God! She is so near--and it is so terrible, because I do
+not wish her near. I would sooner a thousand miles were between us--and
+I am certain there are not many yards! ... Is it psychic? or is it
+actual? or am I going mad? ... Miss Gray! YOU would not lie to me. No
+persuasion or bribery or confounded chicanery could induce YOU to
+deceive me on this point. Look around, for God's sake, and tell me! Are
+we alone? And if not, WHO IS IN THE ROOM besides you and me?"
+
+Jane had been sitting with her arms folded upon the table, her yearning
+eyes fixed upon Garth's bowed head. When he wished her a thousand miles
+away she buried her face upon them. She was so near him that had Garth
+stretched out his right hand again, it would have touched the heavy
+coils of her soft hair. But Garth did not raise his head, and Jane
+still sat with her face buried.
+
+There was silence in the library for a few moments after Garth's
+question and appeal. Then Jane lifted her face.
+
+"There is no one in the room, Mr. Dalmain," said Nurse Rosemary, "but
+YOU--and ME."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVII
+
+THE EYES GARTH TRUSTED
+
+
+"So you enjoy motoring, Miss Gray?"
+
+They had been out in the motor together for the first time, and were
+now having tea together in the library, also for the first time; and,
+for the first time, Nurse Rosemary was pouring out for her patient.
+This was only Monday afternoon, and already her week-end experience had
+won for her many new privileges.
+
+"Yes, I like it, Mr. Dalmain; particularly in this beautiful air."
+
+"Have you had a case before in a house where they kept a motor?"
+
+Nurse Rosemary hesitated. "Yes, I have stayed in houses where they had
+motors, and I have been in Dr. Brand's. He met me at Charing Cross once
+with his electric brougham."
+
+"Ah, I know," said Garth. "Very neat. On your way to a case, or
+returning from a case?"
+
+Nurse Rosemary smiled, then bit her lip. "To a case," she replied quite
+gravely. "I was on my way to his house to talk it over and receive
+instructions."
+
+"It must be splendid working under such a fellow as Brand," said Garth;
+"and yet I am certain most of the best things you do are quite your own
+idea. For instance, he did not suggest your week-end plan, did he? I
+thought not. Ah, the difference it has made! Now tell me. When we were
+motoring we never slowed up suddenly to pass anything, or tooted to
+make something move out of the way, without your having already told me
+what we were going to pass or what was in the road a little way ahead.
+It was: 'We shall be passing a hay cart at the next bend; there will be
+just room, but we shall have to slow up'; or, 'An old red cow is in the
+very middle of the road a little way on. I think she will move if we
+hoot.' Then, when the sudden slow down and swerve came, or the toot
+toot of the horn, I knew all about it and was not taken unawares. Did
+you know how trying it is in blindness to be speeding along and
+suddenly alter pace without having any idea why, or swerve to one side,
+and not know what one has just been avoiding? This afternoon our spin
+was pure pleasure, because not once did you let these things happen. I
+knew all that was taking place, as soon as I should have known it had I
+had my sight."
+
+Jane pressed her hand over her bosom. Ah, how able she was always to
+fill her boy's life with pure pleasure. How little of the needless
+suffering of the blind should ever be his if she won the right to be
+beside him always.
+
+"Well, Mr. Dalmain," said Nurse Rosemary, "I motored to the station
+with Sir Deryck yesterday afternoon, and I noticed all you describe. I
+have never before felt nervous in a motor, but I realised yesterday how
+largely that is owing to the fact that all the time one keeps an
+unconscious look-out; measuring distances, judging speed, and knowing
+what each turn of the handle means. So when we go out you must let me
+be eyes to you in this."
+
+"How good you are!" said Garth, gratefully. "And did you see Sir Deryck
+off?"
+
+"No. I did not SEE Sir Deryck at all. But he said good-bye, and I felt
+the kind, strong grip of his hand as he left me in the car. And I sat
+there and heard his train start and rush away into the distance."
+
+"Was it not hard to you to let him come and go and not to see his face?"
+
+Jane smiled. "Yes, it was hard," said Nurse Rosemary; "but I wished to
+experience that hardness."
+
+"It gives one an awful blank feeling, doesn't it?" said Garth.
+
+"Yes. It almost makes one wish the friend had not come."
+
+"Ah--" There was a depth of contented comprehension in Garth's sigh;
+and the brave heart, which had refused to lift the bandage to the very
+last, felt more than recompensed.
+
+"Next time I reach the Gulf of Partings in Sightless Land," continued
+Garth, "I shall say: 'A dear friend has stood here for my sake.'"
+
+"Oh, and one's meals," said Nurse Rosemary laughing. "Are they not
+grotesquely trying?"
+
+"Yes, of course; I had forgotten you would understand all that now. I
+never could explain to you before why I must have my meals alone. You
+know the hunt and chase?"
+
+"Yes," said Nurse Rosemary, "and it usually resolves itself into 'gone
+away,' and turns up afterwards unexpectedly! But, Mr. Dalmain, I have
+thought out several ways of helping so much in that and making it all
+quite easy. If you will consent to have your meals with me at a small
+table, you will see how smoothly all will work. And later on, if I am
+still here, when you begin to have visitors, you must let me sit at
+your left, and all my little ways of helping would be so unobtrusive,
+that no one would notice."
+
+"Oh, thanks," said Garth. "I am immensely grateful. I have often been
+reminded of a silly game we used to play at Overdene, at dessert, when
+we were a specially gay party. Do you know the old Duchess of Meldrum?
+Or anyway, you may have heard of her? Ah, yes, of course, Sir Deryck
+knows her. She called him in once to her macaw. She did not mention the
+macaw on the telephone, and Sir Deryck, thinking he was wanted for the
+duchess, threw up an important engagement and went immediately. Luckily
+she was at her town house. She would have sent just the same had she
+been at Overdene. I wish you knew Overdene. The duchess gives perfectly
+delightful 'best parties,' in which all the people who really enjoy
+meeting one another find themselves together, and are well fed and well
+housed and well mounted, and do exactly as they like; while the dear
+old duchess tramps in and out, with her queer beasts and birds,
+shedding a kindly and exciting influence wherever she goes. Last time I
+was there she used to let out six Egyptian jerboas in the drawing-room
+every evening after dinner, awfully jolly little beggars, like
+miniature kangaroos. They used to go skipping about on their hind legs,
+frightening some of the women into fits by hiding under their gowns,
+and making young footmen drop trays of coffee cups. The last
+importation is a toucan,--a South American bird, with a beak like a
+banana, and a voice like an old sheep in despair. But Tommy, the
+scarlet macaw, remains prime favourite, and I must say he is clever and
+knows more than you would think."
+
+"Well, at Overdene we used to play a silly game at dessert with
+muscatels. We each put five raisins at intervals round our plates, then
+we shut our eyes and made jabs at them with forks. Whoever succeeded
+first in spiking and eating all five was the winner. The duchess never
+would play. She enjoyed being umpire, and screaming at the people who
+peeped. Miss Champion and I--she is the duchess's niece, you
+know--always played fair, and we nearly always made a dead heat of it."
+
+"Yes," said Nurse Rosemary, "I know that game. I thought of it at once
+when I had my blindfold meals."
+
+"Ah," cried Garth, "had I known, I would not have let you do it!"
+
+"I knew that," said Nurse Rosemary. "That was why I week-ended."
+
+Garth passed his cup to be refilled, and leaned forward confidentially.
+
+"Now," he said, "I can venture to tell you one of my minor trials. I am
+always so awfully afraid of there being a FLY in things. Ever since I
+was a small boy I have had such a horror of inadvertently eating flies.
+When I was about six, I heard a lady visitor say to my mother: 'Oh, one
+HAS to swallow a fly--about once a year! I have just swallowed mine, on
+the way here!' This terrible idea of an annual fly took possession of
+my small mind. I used to be thankful when it happened, and I got it
+over. I remember quickly finishing a bit of bread in which I had seen
+signs of legs and wings, feeling it was an easy way of taking it and I
+should thus be exempt for twelve glad months; but I had to run up and
+down the terrace with clenched hands while I swallowed it. And when I
+discovered the fallacy of the annual fly, I was just as particular in
+my dread of an accidental one. I don't believe I ever sat down to
+sardines on toast at a restaurant without looking under the toast for
+my bugbear, though as I lifted it I felt rather like the old woman who
+always looks under the bed for a burglar. Ah, but since the accident
+this foolishly small thing HAS made me suffer! I cannot say: 'Simpson,
+are you sure there is not a fly in this soup?' Simpson would say:
+'No--sir; no fly--sir,' and would cough behind his hand, and I could
+never ask him again."
+
+Nurse Rosemary leaned forward and placed his cup where he could reach
+it easily, just touching his right hand with the edge of the saucer.
+"Have all your meals with me," she said, in a tone of such complete
+understanding, that it was almost a caress; "and I can promise there
+shall never be any flies in anything. Could you not trust my eyes for
+this?"
+
+And Garth replied, with a happy, grateful smile: "I could trust your
+kind and faithful eyes for anything. Ah! and that reminds me: I want to
+intrust to them a task I could confide to no one else. Is it twilight
+yet, Miss Gray, or is an hour of daylight left to us?"
+
+Nurse Rosemary glanced out of the window and looked at her watch. "We
+ordered tea early," she said, "because we came in from our drive quite
+hungry. It is not five o'clock yet, and a radiant afternoon. The sun
+sets at half-past seven."
+
+"Then the light is good," said Garth. "Have you finished tea? The sun
+will be shining in at the west window of the studio. You know my studio
+at the top of the house? You fetched the studies of Lady Brand from
+there. I dare say you noticed stacks of canvases in the corners. Some
+are unused; some contain mere sketches or studies; some are finished
+pictures. Miss Gray, among the latter are two which I am most anxious
+to identify and to destroy. I made Simpson guide me up the other day
+and leave me there alone. And I tried to find them by touch; but I
+could not be sure, and I soon grew hopelessly confused amongst all the
+canvases. I did not wish to ask Simpson's help, because the subjects,
+are--well, somewhat unusual, and if he found out I had destroyed them
+it might set him wondering and talking, and one hates to awaken
+curiosity in a servant. I could not fall back on Sir Deryck because he
+would have recognised the portraits. The principal figure is known to
+him. When I painted those pictures I never dreamed of any eye but my
+own seeing them. So you, my dear and trusted secretary, are the one
+person to whom I can turn. Will you do what I ask? And will you do it
+now?"
+
+Nurse Rosemary pushed back her chair. "Why of course, Mr. Dalmain. I am
+here to do anything and everything you may desire; and to do it when
+you desire it."
+
+Garth took a key from his waistcoat pocket, and laid it on the table.
+"There is the studio latch-key. I think the canvases I want are in the
+corner furthest from the door, behind a yellow Japanese screen. They
+are large--five feet by three and a half. If they are too cumbersome
+for you to bring down, lay them face to face, and ring for Simpson. But
+do not leave him alone with them."
+
+Nurse Rosemary picked up the key, rose, and went over to the piano,
+which she opened. Then she tightened the purple cord, which guided
+Garth from his chair to the instrument.
+
+"Sit and play," she said, "while I am upstairs, doing your commission.
+But just tell me one thing. You know how greatly your work interests
+me. When I find the pictures, is it your wish that I give them a mere
+cursory glance, just sufficient for identification; or may I look at
+them, in the beautiful studio light? You can trust me to do whichever
+you desire."
+
+The artist in Garth could not resist the wish to have his work seen and
+appreciated. "You may look at them of course, if you wish," he sail.
+"They are quite the best work I ever did, though I painted them wholly
+from memory. That is--I mean, that used to be--a knack of mine. And
+they are in no sense imaginary. I painted exactly what I saw--at least,
+so far as the female face and figure are concerned. And they make the
+pictures. The others are mere accessories." He stood up, and went to
+the piano. His fingers began to stray softly amongst the harmonies of
+the Veni.
+
+Nurse Rosemary moved towards the door. "How shall I know them?" she
+asked, and waited.
+
+The chords of the Veni hushed to a murmur, Garth's voice from the piano
+came clear and distinct, but blending with the harmonies as if he were
+reciting to music.
+
+"A woman and a man ... alone, in a garden--but the surroundings are
+only indicated. She is in evening dress; soft, black, and trailing;
+with lace at her breast. It is called: 'The Wife.'"
+
+"Yes?"
+
+"The same woman; the same scene; but without the man, this time. No
+need to paint the man; for now--visible or invisible--to her, he is
+always there. In her arms she holds"--the low murmur of chords ceased;
+there was perfect silence in the room-"a little child. It is called:
+'The Mother.'"
+
+The Veni burst forth in an unrestrained upbearing of confident petition:
+
+"Keep far our foes; give peace at home"--and the door closed behind
+Nurse Rosemary.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVIII
+
+IN THE STUDIO
+
+
+Jane mounted to the studio; unlocked the door, and, entering, closed it
+after her.
+
+The evening sun shone through a western window, imparting an added
+richness to the silk screens and hangings; the mauve wistaria of a
+Japanese embroidery; or the golden dragon of China on a deep purple
+ground, wound up in its own interminable tail, and showing rampant
+claws in unexpected places.
+
+Several times already Jane had been into Garth's studio, but always to
+fetch something for which he waited eagerly below; and she had never
+felt free to linger. Margery had a duplicate key; for she herself went
+up every day to open the windows, dust tenderly all special treasures;
+and keep it exactly as its owner had liked it kept, when his quick eyes
+could look around it. But this key was always on Margery's bunch; and
+Jane did not like to ask admission, and risk a possible refusal.
+
+Now, however, she could take her own time; and she seated herself in
+one of the low and very deep wicker lounge-chairs, comfortably
+upholstered; so exactly fitting her proportions, and supporting arms,
+knees, and head, just rightly, that it seemed as if all other chairs
+would in future appear inadequate, owing to the absolute perfection of
+this one. Ah, to be just that to her beloved! To so fully meet his
+need, at every point, that her presence should be to him always a
+source of strength, and rest, and consolation.
+
+She looked around the room. It was so like Garth; every detail perfect;
+every shade of colour enhancing another, and being enhanced by it. The
+arrangements for regulating the light, both from roof and windows; the
+easels of all kinds and sizes; clean bareness, where space, and freedom
+from dust, were required; the luxurious comfort round the fireplace,
+and in nooks and corners; all were so perfect. And the plain brown
+wall-paper, of that beautiful quiet shade which has in it no red, and
+no yellow; a clear nut-brown. On an easel near the further window stood
+an unfinished painting; palette and brushes beside it, just as Garth
+had left them when he went out on that morning, nearly three months
+ago; and, vaulting over a gate to protect a little animal from
+unnecessary pain, was plunged himself into such utter loss and anguish.
+
+Jane rose, and took stock of all his quaint treasures on the
+mantelpiece. Especially her mind was held and fascinated by a stout
+little bear in brass, sitting solidly yet jauntily on its haunches, its
+front paws clasping a brazen pole; its head turned sideways; its small,
+beady, eyes, looking straight before it. The chain, from its neck to
+the pole denoted captivity and possible fierceness. Jane had no doubt
+its head would lift, and its body prove a receptacle for matches; but
+she felt equally certain that, should she lift its head and look, no
+matches would be within it. This little bear was unmistakably Early
+Victorian; a friend of childhood's days; and would not be put to common
+uses. She lifted the head. The body was empty. She replaced it gently
+on the mantelpiece, and realised that she was deliberately postponing
+an ordeal which must be faced.
+
+Deryck had told her of Garth's pictures of the One Woman. Garth,
+himself, had now told her even more. But the time had come when she
+must see them for herself. It was useless to postpone the moment. She
+looked towards the yellow screen.
+
+Then she walked, over to the western window, and threw it wide open.
+The sun was dipping gently towards the purple hills. The deep blue of
+the sky began to pale, as a hint of lovely rose crept into it. Jane
+looked heavenward and, thrusting her hands deeply into her pockets,
+spoke aloud. "Before God" she said,--"in case I am never able to say or
+think it again, I will say it now--I BELIEVE I WAS RIGHT. I considered
+Garth's future happiness, and I considered my own. I decided as I did
+for both our sakes, at terrible cost to present joy. But, before God, I
+believed I was right; and--I BELIEVE IT STILL."
+
+Jane never said it again.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIX
+
+JANE LOOKS INTO LOVE'S MIRROR
+
+
+Behind the yellow screen, Jane found a great confusion of canvases, and
+unmistakable evidence of the blind hands which had groped about in a
+vain search, and then made fruitless endeavours to sort and rearrange.
+Very tenderly, Jane picked up each canvas from the fallen heap; turning
+it the right way up, and standing it with its face to the wall.
+Beautiful work, was there; some of it finished; some, incomplete. One
+or two faces she knew, looked out at her in their pictured loveliness.
+But the canvases she sought were not there.
+
+She straightened herself, and looked around. In a further corner,
+partly concealed by a Cairo screen, stood another pile. Jane went to
+them.
+
+Almost immediately she found the two she wanted; larger than the rest,
+and distinguishable at a glance by the soft black gown of the central
+figure.
+
+Without giving them more than a passing look, she carried them over to
+the western window, and placed them in a good light. Then she drew up
+the chair in which she had been sitting; took the little brass bear in
+her left hand, as a talisman to help her through what lay before her;
+turned the second picture with its face to the easel; and sat down to
+the quiet contemplation of the first.
+
+The noble figure of a woman, nobly painted, was the first impression
+which leapt from eye to brain. Yes, nobility came first, in stately
+pose, in uplifted brow, in breadth of dignity. Then--as you marked the
+grandly massive figure, too well-proportioned to be cumbersome, but
+large and full, and amply developed; the length of limb; the firmly
+planted feet; the large capable hands,--you realised the second
+impression conveyed by the picture, to be strength;--strength to do;
+strength to be; strength to continue. Then you looked into the face.
+And there you were confronted with a great surprise. The third thought
+expressed by the picture was Love--love, of the highest, holiest, most
+ideal, kind; yet, withal, of the most tenderly human order; and you
+found it in that face.
+
+It was a large face, well proportioned to the figure. It had no
+pretensions whatever to ordinary beauty. The features were good; there
+was not an ugly line about them; and yet, each one just missed the
+beautiful; and the general effect was of a good-looking plainness;
+unadorned, unconcealed, and unashamed. But the longer you looked, the
+more desirable grew the face; the less you noticed its negations; the
+more you admired its honesty, its purity, its immense strength of
+purpose; its noble simplicity. You took in all these outward details;
+you looked away for a moment, to consider them; you looked back to
+verify them; and then the miracle happened. Into the face had stolen
+the "light that never was on sea or land." It shone from the quiet grey
+eyes,--as, over the head of the man who knelt before her, they looked
+out of the picture--with an expression of the sublime surrender of a
+woman's whole soul to an emotion which, though it sways and masters
+her, yet gives her the power to be more truly herself than ever before.
+The startled joy in them; the marvel at a mystery not yet understood;
+the passionate tenderness; and yet the almost divine compassion for the
+unrestrained violence of feeling, which had flung the man to his knees,
+and driven him to the haven of her breast; the yearning to soothe, and
+give, and content;--all these were blended into a look of such
+exquisite sweetness, that it brought tears to the eyes of the beholder.
+
+The woman was seated on a broad marble parapet. She looked straight
+before her. Her knees came well forward, and the long curve of the
+train of her black gown filled the foreground on the right. On the
+left, slightly to one side of her, knelt a man, a tall slight figure in
+evening dress, his arms thrown forward around her waist; his face
+completely hidden in the soft lace at her bosom; only the back of his
+sleek dark head, visible. And yet the whole figure denoted a passion of
+tense emotion. She had gathered him to her with what you knew must have
+been an exquisite gesture, combining the utter self-surrender of the
+woman, with the tender throb of maternal solicitude; and now her hands
+were clasped behind his head, holding him closely to her. Not a word
+was being spoken. The hidden face was obviously silent; and her firm
+lips above his dark head were folded in a line of calm self-control;
+though about them hovered the dawning of a smile of bliss ineffable.
+
+A crimson rambler rose climbing some woodwork faintly indicated on the
+left, and hanging in a glowing mass from the top left-hand corner,
+supplied the only vivid colour in the picture.
+
+But, from taking in these minor details, the eye returned to that calm
+tender face, alight with love; to those strong capable hands, now
+learning for the first time to put forth the protective passion of a
+woman's tenderness; and the mind whispered the only possible name for
+that picture: The Wife.
+
+Jane gazed at it long, in silence. Had Garth's little bear been
+anything less solid than Early Victorian brass; it must have bent and
+broken under the strong pressure of those clenched hands.
+
+She could not doubt, for a moment, that she looked upon herself; but,
+oh, merciful heavens! how unlike the reflected self of her own mirror!
+Once or twice as she looked, her mind refused to work, and she simply
+gazed blankly at the minor details of the picture. But then again, the
+expression of the grey eyes drew her, recalling so vividly every
+feeling she had experienced when that dear head had come so
+unexpectedly to its resting-place upon her bosom. "It is true," she
+whispered; and again: "Yes; it is true. I cannot deny it. It is as I
+felt; it must be as I looked."
+
+And then, suddenly; she fell upon her knees before the picture. "Oh, my
+God! Is that as I looked? And the next thing that happened was my boy
+lifting his shining eyes and gazing at me in the moonlight. Is THIS
+what he saw? Did I look SO? And did the woman who looked so; and who,
+looking so, pressed his head down again upon her breast, refuse next
+day to marry him, on the grounds of his youth, and her superiority?...
+Oh, Garth, Garth! ... O God, help him to understand! ... help him
+to forgive me!"
+
+In the work-room just below, Maggie the housemaid was singing as she
+sewed. The sound floated through the open window, each syllable
+distinct in the clear Scotch voice, and reached Jane where she knelt.
+Her mind, stunned to blankness by its pain, took eager hold upon the
+words of Maggie's hymn. And they were these.
+
+     "O Love, that will not let me go,
+     I rest my weary soul in Thee;
+     I give Thee back the life I owe,
+     That in Thine ocean depths its flow
+     May richer, fuller be."
+
+     "O Light, that followest all my way,
+     I yield my flick'ring torch to Thee;
+     My heart restores its borrowed ray,
+     That in Thy sunshine's blaze its day
+     May brighter, fairer be."
+
+Jane took the second picture, and placed it in front of the first.
+
+The same woman, seated as before; but the man was not there; and in her
+arms, its tiny dark head pillowed against the fulness of her breast,
+lay a little child. The woman did not look over that small head, but
+bent above it, and gazed into the baby face.
+
+The crimson rambler had grown right across the picture, and formed a
+glowing arch above mother and child. A majesty of tenderness was in the
+large figure of the mother. The face, as regarded contour and features,
+was no less plain; but again it was transfigured, by the mother-love
+thereon depicted. You knew "The Wife" had more than fulfilled her
+abundant promise. The wife was there in fullest realisation; and, added
+to wifehood, the wonder of motherhood. All mysteries were explained;
+all joys experienced; and the smile on her calm lips, bespoke ineffable
+content.
+
+A rambler rose had burst above them, and fallen in a shower of crimson
+petals upon mother and child. The baby-fingers clasped tightly the soft
+lace at her bosom. A petal had fallen upon the tiny wrist. She had
+lifted her hand to remove it; and, catching the baby-eyes, so dark and
+shining, paused for a moment, and smiled.
+
+Jane, watching them, fell to desperate weeping. The "mere boy" had
+understood her potential possibilities of motherhood far better than
+she understood them herself. Having had one glimpse of her as "The
+Wife," his mind had leaped on, and seen her as "The Mother." And again
+she was forced to say: "It is true--yes; it is true."
+
+And then she recalled the old line of cruel reasoning:
+
+"It was not the sort of face one would have wanted to see always in
+front of one at table." Was this the sort of face--this, as Garth had
+painted it, after a supposed year of marriage? Would any man weary of
+it, or wish to turn away his eyes?
+
+Jane took one more long look. Then she dropped the little bear, and
+buried her face in her hands; while a hot blush crept up to the very
+roots of her hair, and tingled to her finger-tips.
+
+Below, the fresh young voice was singing again.
+
+     "O Joy, that seekest me through pain,
+     I cannot close my heart to Thee;
+     I trace the rainbow through the rain,
+     And feel the promise is not vain
+     That morn shall tearless be."
+
+After a while Jane whispered: "Oh, my darling, forgive me. I was
+altogether wrong. I will confess; and, God helping me, I will explain;
+and, oh, my darling, you will forgive me?"
+
+Once more she lifted her head and looked at the picture. A few stray
+petals of the crimson rambler lay upon the ground; reminding her of
+those crushed roses, which, falling from her breast, lay scattered on
+the terrace at Shenstone, emblem of the joyous hopes and glory of love
+which her decision of that night had laid in the dust of disillusion.
+But crowning this picture, in rich clusters of abundant bloom, grew the
+rambler rose. And through the open window came the final verse of
+Maggie's hymn.
+
+     "O Cross, that liftest up my head,
+     I dare not ask to fly from Thee;
+     I lay in dust life's glory dead,
+     And from the ground there blossoms red
+     Life that shall endless be."
+
+Jane went to the western window, and stood, with her arms stretched
+above her, looking out upon the radiance of the sunset. The sky blazed
+into gold and crimson at the horizon; gradually as the eye lifted,
+paling to primrose, flecked with rosy clouds; and, overhead, deep
+blue--fathomless, boundless, blue.
+
+Jane gazed at the golden battlements above the purple hills, and
+repeated, half aloud: "And the city was of pure gold;--and had no need
+of the sun, neither of the moon to shine in it: for the glory of God
+did lighten it. And there shall be no more death; neither sorrow, nor
+crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are
+passed away."
+
+Ah, how much had passed away since she stood at that western window,
+not an hour before. All life seemed readjusted; its outlook altered;
+its perspective changed. Truly Garth had "gone behind his blindness."
+
+Jane raised her eyes to the blue; and a smile of unspeakable
+anticipation parted her lips. "Life, that shall endless be," she
+murmured. Then, turning, found the little bear, and restored him to his
+place upon the mantelpiece; put back the chair; closed the western
+window; and, picking up the two canvases, left the studio, and made her
+way carefully downstairs.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXX
+
+"THE LADY PORTRAYED"
+
+
+"It has taken you long, Miss Gray. I nearly sent Simpson up, to find
+out what had happened."
+
+"I am glad you did not do that, Mr. Dalmain. Simpson would have found
+me weeping on the studio floor; and to ask his assistance under those
+circumstances, would have been more humbling than inquiring after the
+fly in the soup!"
+
+Garth turned quickly in his chair. The artist-ear had caught the tone
+which meant comprehension of his work.
+
+"Weeping!" he said. "Why?"
+
+"Because," answered Nurse Rosemary, "I have been entranced. These
+pictures are so exquisite. They stir one's deepest depths. And yet they
+are so pathetic--ah, SO pathetic; because you have made a plain woman,
+beautiful."
+
+Garth rose to his feet, and turned upon her a face which would have
+blazed, had it not been sightless.
+
+"A WHAT?" he exclaimed.
+
+"A plain woman," repeated Nurse Rosemary, quietly. "Surely you realised
+your model to be that. And therein lies the wonder of the pictures. You
+have so beautified her by wifehood, and glorified her by motherhood,
+that the longer one looks the more one forgets her plainness; seeing
+her as loving and loved; lovable, and therefore lovely. It is a triumph
+of art."
+
+Garth sat down, his hands clasped before him.
+
+"It is a triumph of truth," he said. "I painted what I saw."
+
+"You painted her soul," said Nurse Rosemary, "and it illuminated her
+plain face."
+
+"I SAW her soul," said Garth, almost in a whisper; "and that vision was
+so radiant that it illumined my dark life. The remembrance lightens my
+darkness, even now."
+
+A very tender silence fell in the library.
+
+The twilight deepened.
+
+Then Nurse Rosemary spoke, very low. "Mr. Dalmain, I have a request to
+make of you. I want to beg you not to destroy these pictures."
+
+Garth lifted his head. "I must destroy them, child," he said. "I cannot
+risk their being seen by people who would recognise my--the--the lady
+portrayed."
+
+"At all events, there is one person who must see them, before they are
+destroyed."
+
+"And that is?" queried Garth.
+
+"The lady portrayed," said Nurse Rosemary, bravely.
+
+"How do you know she has not seen them?"
+
+"Has she?" inquired Nurse Rosemary.
+
+"No," said Garth, shortly; "and she never will."
+
+"She must."
+
+Something in the tone of quiet insistence struck Garth.
+
+"Why?" he asked; and listened with interest for the answer.
+
+"Because of all it would mean to a woman who knows herself plain, to
+see herself thus beautified."
+
+Garth sat very still for a few moments. Then: "A woman
+who--knows--herself--plain?" he repeated, with interrogative amazement
+in his voice.
+
+"Yes," proceeded Nurse Rosemary, encouraged. "Do you suppose, for a
+moment, that that lady's mirror has ever shown her a reflection in any
+way approaching what you have made her in these pictures? When we stand
+before our looking-glasses, Mr. Dalmain, scowling anxiously at hats and
+bows, and partings, we usually look our very worst; and that lady, at
+her very worst, would be of a most discouraging plainness."
+
+Garth sat perfectly silent.
+
+"Depend upon it," continued Nurse Rosemary, "she never sees herself as
+'The Wife'--'The Mother.' Is she a wife?".
+
+Garth hesitated only the fraction of a second. "Yes," he said, very
+quietly.
+
+Jane's hands flew to her breast. Her heart must be held down, or he
+would hear it throbbing.
+
+Nurse Rosemary's voice had in it only a slight tremor, when she spoke
+again.
+
+"Is she a mother?"
+
+"No," said Garth. "I painted what might have been."
+
+"If--?"
+
+"If it HAD been," replied Garth, curtly.
+
+Nurse Rosemary felt rebuked. "Dear Mr. Dalmain," she said, humbly; "I
+realise how officious I must seem to you, with all these questions, and
+suggestions. But you must blame the hold these wonderful paintings of
+yours have taken on my mind. Oh, they are beautiful--beautiful!"
+
+"Ah," said Garth, the keen pleasure of the artist springing up once
+more. "Miss Gray, I have somewhat forgotten them. Have you them here?
+That is right. Put them up before you, and describe them to me. Let me
+hear how they struck you, as pictures." Jane rose, and went to the
+window. She threw it open; and as she breathed in the fresh air,
+breathed out a passionate prayer that her nerve, her voice, her
+self-control might not fail her, in this critical hour. She herself had
+been convicted by Garth's pictures. Now she must convince Garth, by her
+description of them. He must be made to believe in the love he had
+depicted.
+
+Then Nurse Rosemary sat down; and, in the gentle, unemotional voice,
+which was quite her own, described to the eager ears of the blind
+artist, exactly what Jane had seen in the studio.
+
+It was perfectly done. It was mercilessly done. All the desperate,
+hopeless, hunger for Jane, awoke in Garth; the maddening knowledge that
+she had been his, and yet not his; that, had he pressed for her answer
+that evening, it could not have been a refusal; that the cold
+calculations of later hours, had no place in those moments of ecstasy.
+Yet--he lost her--lost her! Why? Ah, why? Was there any possible reason
+other than the one she gave?
+
+Nurse Rosemary's quiet voice went on, regardless of his writhings. But
+she was drawing to a close. "And it is such a beautiful crimson
+rambler, Mr. Dalmain," she said. "I like the idea of its being small
+and in bud, in the first picture; and blooming in full glory, in the
+second."
+
+Garth pulled himself together and smiled. He must not give way before
+this girl.
+
+"Yes," he said; "I am glad you noticed that. And, look here. We will
+not destroy them at once. Now they are found, there is no hurry. I am
+afraid I am giving you a lot of trouble; but will you ask for some
+large sheets of brown paper, and make a package, and write upon it:
+'Not to be opened,' and tell Margery to put them back in the studio.
+Then, when I want them, at any time, I shall have no difficulty in
+identifying them."
+
+"I am so glad," said Nurse Rosemary. "Then perhaps the plain lady--"
+
+"I cannot have her spoken of so," said Garth, hotly. "I do not know
+what she thought of herself--I doubt if she ever gave a thought to self
+at all. I do not know what you would have thought of her. I can only
+tell you that, to me, hers is the one face which is visible in my
+darkness. All the loveliness I have painted, all the beauty I have
+admired, fades from my mental vision, as wreaths of mist; flutters from
+memory's sight, as autumn leaves. Her face alone abides; calm, holy,
+tender, beautiful,--it is always before me. And it pains me that one
+who has only seen her as MY hand depicted her should speak of her as
+plain."
+
+"Forgive me," said Nurse Rosemary, humbly. "I did not mean to pain you,
+sir. And, to show you what your pictures have done for me, may I tell
+you a resolution I made in the studio? I cannot miss what they
+depict--the sweetest joys of life--for want of the courage to confess
+myself wrong; pocket my pride; and be frank and humble. I am going to
+write a full confession to my young man, as to my share of the
+misunderstanding which has parted us. Do you think he will understand?
+Do you think he will forgive?"
+
+Garth smiled. He tried to call up an image of a pretty troubled face,
+framed in a fluffy setting of soft fair hair. It harmonised so little
+with the voice; but it undoubtedly was Nurse Rosemary Gray, as others
+saw her.
+
+"He will be a brute if he doesn't, child," he said.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXI
+
+IN LIGHTER VEIN
+
+
+Dinner that evening, the first at their small round table, was a great
+success. Nurse Rosemary's plans all worked well; and Garth delighted in
+arrangements which made him feel less helpless.
+
+The strain of the afternoon brought its reaction of merriment. A little
+judicious questioning drew forth further stories of the duchess and her
+pets; and Miss Champion's name came in with a frequency which they both
+enjoyed.
+
+It was a curious experience for Jane, to hear herself described in
+Garth's vivid word-painting. Until that fatal evening at Shenstone, she
+had been remarkably free from self-consciousness; and she had no idea
+that she had a way of looking straight into people's eyes when she
+talked to them, and that that was what muddled up "the silly little
+minds of women who say they are afraid of her, and that she makes them
+nervous! You see she looks right into their shallow shuffling little
+souls, full of conceited thoughts about themselves, and nasty
+ill-natured thoughts about her; and no wonder they grow panic-stricken,
+and flee; and talk of her as 'that formidable Miss Champion.' I never
+found her formidable; but, when I had the chance of a real talk with
+her, I used to be thankful I had nothing of which to be ashamed. Those
+clear eyes touched bottom every time, as our kindred over the water so
+expressively put it."
+
+Neither had Jane any idea that she always talked with a poker, if
+possible; building up the fire while she built up her own argument; or
+attacking it vigorously, while she demolished her opponent's; that she
+stirred the fire with her toe, but her very smart boots never seemed
+any the worse; that when pondering a difficult problem, she usually
+stood holding her chin in her right hand, until she had found the
+solution. All these small characteristics Garth described with vivid
+touch, and dwelt upon with a tenacity of remembrance, which astonished
+Jane, and revealed him, in his relation to herself three years before,
+in a new light.
+
+His love for her had been so suddenly disclosed, and had at once had to
+be considered as a thing to be either accepted or put away; so that
+when she decided to put it away, it seemed not to have had time to
+become in any sense part of her life. She had viewed it; realised all
+it might have meant; and put it from her.
+
+But now she understood how different it had been for Garth. During the
+week which preceded his declaration, he had realised, to the full, the
+meaning of their growing intimacy; and, as his certainty increased, he
+had more and more woven her into his life; his vivid imagination
+causing her to appear as his beloved from the first; loved and wanted,
+when as yet they were merely acquaintances; kindred spirits; friends.
+
+To find herself thus shrined in his heart and memory was infinitely
+touching to Jane; and seemed to promise, with sweet certainty, that it
+would not be difficult to come home there to abide, when once all
+barriers between them were removed.
+
+After dinner, Garth sat long at the piano, filling the room with
+harmony. Once or twice the theme of The Rosary crept in, and Jane
+listened anxiously for its development; but almost immediately it gave
+way to something else. It seemed rather to haunt the other melodies,
+than to be actually there itself.
+
+When Garth left the piano, and, guided by the purple cord, reached his
+chair, Nurse Rosemary said gently "Mr. Dalmain, can you spare me for a
+few days at the end of this week?"
+
+"Oh, why?" said Garth. "To go where? And for how long? Ah, I know I
+ought to say: 'Certainly! Delighted!' after all your goodness to me.
+But I really cannot! You don't know what life was without you, when you
+week-ended! That week-end seemed months, even though Brand was here. It
+is your own fault for making yourself so indispensable."
+
+Nurse Rosemary smiled. "I daresay I shall not be away for long," she
+said. "That is, if you want me, I can return. But, Mr. Dalmain, I
+intend to-night to write that letter of which I told you. I shall post
+it to-morrow. I must follow it up almost immediately. I must be with
+him when he receives it, or soon afterwards. I think--I hope--he will
+want me at once. This is Monday. May I go on Thursday?"
+
+Poor Garth looked blankly dismayed.
+
+"Do nurses, as a rule, leave their patients, and rush off to their
+young men in order to find out how they have liked their letters?" he
+inquired, in mock protest.
+
+"Not as a rule, sir," replied Nurse Rosemary, demurely. "But this is an
+exceptional case."
+
+"I shall wire to Brand."
+
+"He will send you a more efficient and more dependable person."
+
+"Oh you wicked little thing!" cried Garth. "If Miss Champion were here,
+she would shake you! You, know perfectly well that nobody could fill
+your place!"
+
+"It is good of you to say so, sir," replied Nurse Rosemary, meekly.
+"And is Miss Champion much addicted to shaking people?"
+
+
+
+"Don't call me 'sir'! Yes; when people are tiresome she often says she
+would like to shake them; and one has a mental vision of how their
+teeth would chatter. There is a certain little lady of our acquaintance
+whom we always call 'Mrs. Do-and-don't.' She isn't in our set; but she
+calls upon it; and sometimes it asks her to lunch, for fun. If you
+inquire whether she likes a thing, she says: 'Well, I do, and I don't.'
+If you ask whether she is going to a certain function, she says: 'Well,
+I am, and I'm not.' And if you send her a note, imploring a straight
+answer to a direct question, the answer comes back: 'Yes AND no.' Miss
+Champion used to say she would like to take her up by the scruff of her
+feather boa, and shake her, asking at intervals: 'Shall I stop?' so as
+to wring from Mrs. Do-and-don't a definite affirmative, for once."
+
+"Could Miss Champion carry out such a threat? Is she a very massive
+person?"
+
+"Well, she could, you know; but she wouldn't. She is most awfully kind,
+even to little freaks she laughs at. No, she isn't massive. That word
+does not describe her at all. But she is large, and very finely
+developed. Do you know the Venus of Milo? Yes; in the Louvre. I am glad
+you know Paris. Well, just imagine the Venus of Milo in a tailor-made
+coat and skirt,--and you have Miss Champion."
+
+Nurse Rosemary laughed, hysterically. Either the Venus of Milo, or Miss
+Champion, or this combination of both, proved too much for her.
+
+"Little Dicky Brand summed up Mrs. Do-and-don't rather well," pursued
+Garth. "She was calling at Wimpole Street, on Lady Brand's 'at home'
+day. And Dicky stood talking to me, in his black velvets and white
+waistcoat, a miniature edition of Sir Deryck. He indicated Mrs.
+Do-and-don't on a distant lounge, and remarked: 'THAT lady never KNOWS;
+she always THINKS. I asked her if her little girl might come to my
+party, and she said: "I think so." Now if she had asked ME if I was
+coming to HER party, I should have said: "Thank you; I am." It is very
+trying when people only THINK about important things, such as little
+girls and parties; because their thinking never amounts to much. It
+does not so much matter what they think about other things--the
+weather, for instance; because that all happens, whether they think or
+not. Mummie asked that lady whether it was raining when she got here;
+and she said: "I THINK not." I can't imagine why Mummie always wants to
+know what her friends think about the weather. I have heard her ask
+seven ladies this afternoon whether it is raining. Now if father or I
+wanted to know whether it was raining we should just step over to the
+window, and look out; and then come back and go do with really
+interesting conversation. But Mummie asks them whether it is raining,
+or whether they think it has been raining, or is going to rain; and
+when they have told her, she hurries away and asks somebody else. I
+asked the thinking lady in the feather thing, whether she knew who the
+father and mother were, of the young lady whom Cain married; and she
+said: "Well, I do; and I don't." I said: "If you DO, perhaps you will
+tell me. And if you DON'T, perhaps you would like to take my hand, and
+we will walk over together and ask the Bishop--the one with the thin
+legs, and the gold cross, talking to Mummie." But she thought she had
+to go, quite in a hurry. So I saw her off; and then asked the Bishop
+alone. Bishops are most satisfactory kind of people; because they are
+quite sure about everything; and you feel safe in quoting them to
+Nurse. Nurse told Marsdon that this one is in "sheep's clothing,"
+because he wears a gold cross. I saw the cross; but I saw no sheep's
+clothing. I was looking out for the kind of woolly thing our new curate
+wears on his back in church. Should you call that "sheep's clothing"? I
+asked father, and he said: "No. Bunny-skin." And mother seemed as
+shocked as if father and I had spoken in church, instead of just as we
+came out. And she said: "It is a B.A. hood." Possibly she thinks "baa"
+is spelled with only one "a." Anyway father and I felt it best to let
+the subject drop.'"
+
+Nurse Rosemary laughed. "How exactly like Dicky," she said. "I could
+hear his grave little voice, and almost see him pull down his small
+waistcoat!"
+
+"Why, do you know the little chap?" asked Garth.
+
+"Yes," replied Nurse Rosemary; "I have stayed with them. Talking to
+Dicky is an education; and Baby Blossom is a sweet romp. Here comes
+Simpson. How quickly the evening has flown. Then may I be off on
+Thursday?"
+
+"I am helpless," said Garth. "I cannot say 'no.' But suppose you do not
+come back?"
+
+"Then you can wire to Dr. Brand."
+
+"I believe you want to leave me," said Garth reproachfully.
+
+"I do, and I don't!" laughed Nurse Rosemary; and fled from his
+outstretched hands.
+
+      *      *      *      *      *
+
+When Jane had locked the letter-bag earlier that evening, and handed it
+to Simpson, she had slipped in two letters of her own. One was
+addressed to
+
+         Georgina, Duchess of Meldrum
+
+              Portland Place
+
+The other, to
+
+         Sir Deryck Brand
+
+             Wimpole Street
+
+Both were marked: Urgent. If absent, forward immediately.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXII
+
+AN INTERLUDE
+
+
+Tuesday passed uneventfully, to all outward seeming.
+
+There was nothing to indicate to Garth that his secretary had sat up
+writing most of the night; only varying that employment by spending
+long moments in silent contemplation of his pictures, which had found a
+temporary place of safety, on their way back to the studio, in a deep
+cupboard in her room, of which she had the key.
+
+If Nurse Rosemary marked, with a pang of tender compunction, the worn
+look on Garth's face, telling how mental suffering had chased away
+sleep; she made no comment thereupon.
+
+Thus Tuesday passed, in uneventful monotony.
+
+Two telegrams had arrived for Nurse Gray in the course of the morning.
+The first came while she was reading a Times leader aloud to Garth.
+Simpson brought it in, saying: "A telegram for you, miss."
+
+It was always a source of gratification to Simpson afterwards, that,
+almost from the first, he had been led, by what he called his "unHaided
+HintuHition," to drop the "nurse," and address Jane with the
+conventional "miss." In time he almost convinced himself that he had
+also discerned in her "a Honourable"; but this, Margery Graem firmly
+refused to allow. She herself had had her "doots," and kept them to
+herself; but all Mr. Simpson's surmisings had been freely expressed and
+reiterated in the housekeeper's room; and never a word about any
+honourable lead passed Mr. Simpson's lips. Therefore Mrs. Graem berated
+him for being so ready to "go astray and speak lies." But Maggie, the
+housemaid, had always felt sure Mr. Simpson knew more than he said.
+"Said more than he knew, you mean," prompted old Margery. "No,"
+retorted Maggie, "I know what I said; and I said what I meant." "You
+may have said what you meant, but you did not mean what you knew,"
+insisted Margery; "and if anybody says another word on the matter, _I_
+shall say grace and dismiss the table," continued old Margery,
+exercising the cloture, by virtue of her authority, in a way which
+Simpson and Maggie, who both wished for cheese, afterwards described as
+"mean."
+
+But this was long after the uneventful Tuesday, when Simpson entered,
+with a salver; and, finding Jane enveloped in the Times, said: "A
+telegram for you, miss."
+
+Nurse Rosemary took it; apologised for the interruption, and opened it.
+It was from the duchess, and ran thus:
+
+MOST INCONVENIENT, AS YOU VERY WELL KNOW; BUT AM LEAVING EUSTON
+TO-NIGHT. WILL AWAIT FURTHER ORDERS AT ABERDEEN.
+
+Nurse Rosemary smiled, and put the telegram into her pocket. "No
+answer, thank you, Simpson."
+
+"Not bad news, I hope?" asked Garth.
+
+"No," replied Nurse Rosemary; "but it makes my departure on Thursday
+imperative. It is from an old aunt of mine, who is going to my 'young
+man's' home. I must be with him before she is, or there will be endless
+complications."
+
+"I don't believe he will ever let you go again, when once he gets you
+back," remarked Garth, moodily.
+
+"You think not?" said Nurse Rosemary, with a tender little smile, as
+she took up the paper, and resumed her reading.
+
+The second telegram arrived after luncheon. Garth was at the piano,
+thundering Beethoven's Funeral March on the Death of a Hero. The room
+was being rent asunder by mighty chords; and Simpson's smug face and
+side-whiskers appearing noiselessly in the doorway, were an
+insupportable anticlimax. Nurse Rosemary laid her finger on her lips;
+advanced with her firm noiseless tread, and took the telegram. She
+returned to her seat and waited until the hero's obsequies were over,
+and the last roll of the drums had died away. Then she opened the
+orange envelope. And as she opened it, a strange thing happened. Garth
+began to play The Rosary. The string of pearls dropped in liquid sound
+from his fingers; and Nurse Rosemary read her telegram. It was from the
+doctor, and said: SPECIAL LICENSE EASILY OBTAINED. FLOWER AND I WILL
+COME WHENEVER YOU WISH. WIRE AGAIN.
+
+The Rosary drew to a soft melancholy close.
+
+"What shall I play next?" asked Garth, suddenly.
+
+"Veni, Creator Spiritus," said Nurse Rosemary; and bowed her head in
+prayer.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIII
+
+"SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN!"
+
+
+Wednesday dawned; an ideal First of May: Garth was in the garden before
+breakfast. Jane heard him singing, as he passed beneath her window.
+
+"It is not mine to sing the stately grace, The great soul beaming in my
+lady's face."
+
+She leaned out.
+
+He was walking below in the freshest of white flannels; his step so
+light and elastic; his every movement so lithe and graceful; the only
+sign of his blindness the Malacca cane he held in his hand, with which
+he occasionally touched the grass border, or the wall of the house. She
+could only see the top of his dark head. It might have been on the
+terrace at Shenstone, three years before. She longed to call from the
+window; "Darling--my Darling! Good morning! God bless you to-day."
+
+Ah what would to-day bring forth;--the day when her full confession,
+and explanation, and plea for pardon, would reach him? He was such a
+boy in many ways; so light-hearted, loving, artistic, poetic,
+irrepressible; ever young, in spite of his great affliction. But where
+his manhood was concerned; his love; his right of choice and of
+decision; of maintaining a fairly-formed opinion, and setting aside the
+less competent judgment of others; she knew him rigid, inflexible. His
+very pain seemed to cool him, from the molten lover, to the bar of
+steel.
+
+As Jane knelt at her window that morning, she had not the least idea
+whether the evening would find her travelling to Aberdeen, to take the
+night mail south; or at home forever in the heaven of Garth's love.
+
+And down below he passed again, still singing:
+
+   "But mine it is to follow in her train;
+    Do her behests in pleasure or in pain;
+    Burn at her altar love's sweet frankincense,
+    And worship her in distant reverence."
+
+"Ah, beloved!" whispered Jane, "not 'distant.' If you want her, and
+call her, it will be to the closest closeness love can devise. No more
+distance between you and me."
+
+And then, in the curious way in which inspired words will sometimes
+occur to the mind quite apart from their inspired context, and bearing
+a totally different meaning from that which they primarily bear, these
+words came to Jane: "For He is our peace, Who hath made both one, and
+hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us ... that He
+might reconcile both ... by the cross." "Ah, dear Christ!" she
+whispered. "If Thy cross could do this for Jew and Gentile, may not my
+boy's heavy cross, so bravely borne, do it for him and for me? So shall
+we come at last, indeed, to 'kiss the cross.'"
+
+The breakfast gong boomed through the house. Simpson loved gongs. He
+considered them "Haristocratic." He always gave full measure.
+
+Nurse Rosemary went down to breakfast.
+
+Garth came in, through the French window, humming "The thousand
+beauties that I know so well." He was in his gayest, most inconsequent
+mood. He had picked a golden rosebud in the conservatory and wore it in
+his buttonhole. He carried a yellow rose in his hand.
+
+"Good day, Miss Rosemary," he said. "What a May Day! Simpson and I were
+up with the lark; weren't we, Simpson? Poor Simpson felt like a sort of
+'Queen of the May,' when my electric bell trilled in his room, at 5
+A.M. But I couldn't stay in bed. I woke with my
+something-is-going-to-happen feeling; and when I was a little chap and
+woke with that, Margery used to say: 'Get up quickly then, Master
+Garth, and it will happen all the sooner.' You ask her if she didn't,
+Simpson. Miss Gray, did you ever learn: 'If you're waking call me
+early, call me early, mother dear'? I always hated that young woman! I
+should think, in her excited state, she would have been waking long
+before her poor mother, who must have been worn to a perfect rag,
+making all the hussy's May Queen-clothes, overnight."
+
+Simpson had waited to guide him to his place at the table. Then he
+removed the covers, and left the room.
+
+As soon as he had closed the door behind him, Garth leaned forward, and
+with unerring accuracy laid the opening rose upon Nurse Rosemary's
+plate.
+
+"Roses for Rosemary," he said. "Wear it, if you are sure the young man
+would not object. I have been thinking about him and the aunt. I wish
+you could ask them both here, instead of going away on Thursday. We
+would have the 'maddest, merriest time!' I would play with the aunt,
+while you had it out with the young man. And I could easily keep the
+aunt away from nooks and corners, because my hearing is sharper than
+any aunt's eyes could be, and if you gave a gentle cough, I would
+promptly clutch hold of auntie, and insist upon being guided in the
+opposite direction. And I would take her out in the motor; and you and
+the young man could have the gig. And then when all was satisfactorily
+settled, we could pack them off home, and be by ourselves again. Ah,
+Miss Gray, do send for them, instead of leaving me on Thursday."
+
+"Mr. Dalmain," said Nurse Rosemary, reprovingly, as she leaned forward
+and touched his right hand with the rim of his saucer, "this May-Day
+morning has gone to your head. I shall send for Margery. She may have
+known the symptoms, of old."
+
+"It is not that," said Garth. He leaned forward and spoke
+confidentially. "Something is going to happen to-day, little Rosemary.
+Whenever I feel like this, something happens. The first time it
+occurred, about twenty-five years ago, there was a rocking-horse in the
+hall, when I ran downstairs! I have never forgotten my first ride on
+that rocking-horse. The fearful joy when he went backward; the awful
+plunge when he went forward; and the proud moment when it was possible
+to cease clinging to the leather pommel. I nearly killed the cousin who
+pulled out his tail. I thrashed him, then and there, WITH the tail;
+which was such a silly thing to do; because, though it damaged the
+cousin, it also spoiled the tail. The next time--ah, but I am boring
+you!"
+
+"Not at all," said Nurse Rosemary, politely; "but I want you to have
+some breakfast; and the letters will be here in a few minutes."
+
+He looked so brown and radiant, this dear delightful boy, with his
+gold-brown tie, and yellow rose. She was conscious of her pallor, and
+oppressive earnestness, as she said: "The letters will be here."
+
+"Oh, bother the letters!" cried Garth. "Let's have a holiday from
+letters on May Day! You shall be Queen of the May; and Margery shall be
+the old mother. I will be Robin, with the breaking heart, leaning on
+the bridge beneath the hazel tree; and Simpson can be the 'bolder lad.'
+And we will all go and 'gather knots of flowers, and buds, and garlands
+gay.'"
+
+"Mr. Dalmain," said Nurse Rosemary, laughing, in spite of herself, "you
+really must be sensible, or I shall go and consult Margery. I have
+never seen you in such a mood."
+
+"You have never seen me, on a day when something was going to happen,"
+said Garth; and Nurse Rosemary made no further attempt to repress him.
+
+After breakfast, he went to the piano, and played two-steps, and
+rag-time music, so infectiously, that Simpson literally tripped as he
+cleared the table; and Nurse Rosemary, sitting pale and preoccupied,
+with a pile of letters before her, had hard work to keep her feet still.
+
+Simpson had two-stepped to the door with the cloth, and closed it after
+him. Nurse Rosemary's remarks about the post-bag, and the letters, had
+remained unanswered. "Shine little glowworm glimmer" was pealing gaily
+through the room, like silver bells,--when the door opened, and old
+Margery appeared, in a black satin apron, and a blue print sunbonnet.
+She came straight to the piano, and laid her hand gently on Garth's arm.
+
+"Master Garthie," she said, "on this lovely May morning, will you take
+old Margery up into the woods?"
+
+Garth's hands dropped from the keys. "Of course I will, Margie," he
+said. "And, I say Margie, SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN."
+
+"I know it, laddie," said the old woman, tenderly; and the expression
+with which she looked into the blind face filled Jane's eyes with
+tears. "I woke with it too, Master Garthie; and now we will go into the
+woods, and listen to the earth, and trees, and flowers, and they will
+tell us whether it is for joy, or for sorrow. Come, my own laddie."
+
+Garth rose, as in a dream. Even in his blindness he looked so young,
+and so beautiful, that Jane's watching heart stood still.
+
+At the window he paused. "Where is that secretary person?" he said,
+vaguely. "She kept trying to shut me up."
+
+"I know she did, laddie," said old Margery, curtseying apologetically
+towards Jane. "You see she does not know the
+'something-is-going-to-happen-to-day' awakening."
+
+"Ah, doesn't she?" thought Jane, as they disappeared through the
+window. "But as my Garth has gone off his dear head, and been taken
+away by his nurse, the thing that is going to happen, can't happen just
+yet." And Jane sat down to the piano, and very softly ran through the
+accompaniment of The Rosary. Then,--after shading her eyes on the
+terrace, and making sure that a tall white figure leaning on a short
+dark one, had almost reached the top of the hill,--still more softly,
+she sang it.
+
+Afterwards she went for a tramp on the moors, and steadied her nerve by
+the rapid swing of her walk, and the deep inbreathing of that glorious
+air. Once or twice she took a telegram from her pocket, stood still and
+read it; then tramped on, to the wonder of the words: "Special license
+easily obtained." Ah, the license might be easy to obtain; but how
+about his forgiveness? That must be obtained first. If there were only
+this darling boy to deal with, in his white flannels and yellow roses,
+with a May-Day madness in his veins, the license might come at once;
+and all he could wish should happen without delay. But this is a
+passing phase of Garth. What she has to deal with is the white-faced
+man, who calmly said: "I accept the cross," and walked down the village
+church leaving her--for all these years. Loving her, as he loved her;
+and yet leaving her,--without word or sign, for three long years. To
+hire, was the confession; his would be the decision; and, somehow, it
+did not surprise her, when she came down to luncheon, a little late, to
+find HIM seated at the table.
+
+"Miss Gray," he said gravely, as he heard her enter, "I must apologise
+for my behaviour this morning. I was what they call up here 'fey.'
+Margery understands the mood; and together she and I have listened to
+kind Mother Earth, laying our hands on her sympathetic softness, and
+she has told us her secrets. Then I lay down under the fir trees and
+slept; and awakened calm and sane, and ready for what to-day must
+bring. For it WILL bring something. That is no delusion. It is a day of
+great things. That much, Margery knows, too."
+
+"Perhaps," suggested Nurse Rosemary, tentatively, "there may be news of
+interest in your letters."
+
+"Ah," said Garth, "I forgot. We have not even opened this morning's
+letters. Let us take time for them immediately after lunch. Are there
+many?"
+
+"Quite a pile," said Nurse Rosemary.
+
+"Good. We will work soberly through them."
+
+Half an hour later Garth was seated in his chair, calm and expectant;
+his face turned towards his secretary. He had handled his letters, and
+amongst them he had found one sealed; and the seal was a plumed helmet,
+with visor closed. Nurse Rosemary saw him pale, as his fingers touched
+it. He made no remark; but, as before, slipped it beneath the rest,
+that it might come up for reading, last of all.
+
+When the others were finished, and Nurse Rosemary took up this letter,
+the room was very still. They were quite alone. Bees hummed in the
+garden. The scent of flowers stole in at the window. But no one
+disturbed their solitude.
+
+Nurse Rosemary took up the envelope.
+
+"Mr. Dalmain, here is a letter, sealed with scarlet wax. The seal is a
+helmet with visor--"
+
+"I know," said Garth. "You need not describe it further. Kindly open
+it."
+
+Nurse Rosemary opened it. "It is a very long letter, Mr. Dalmain."
+
+"Indeed? Will you please read it to me, Miss Gray."
+
+A tense moment of silence followed. Nurse Rosemary lifted the letter;
+but her voice suddenly refused to respond to her will. Garth waited
+without further word.
+
+Then Nurse Rosemary said: "Indeed, sir, it seems a most private letter.
+I find it difficult to read it to you."
+
+Garth heard the distress in her voice, and turned to her kindly.
+
+"Never mind, my dear child. It in no way concerns you. It is a private
+letter to me; but my only means of hearing it is through your eyes, and
+from your lips. Besides, the lady, whose seal is a plumed helmet, can
+have nothing of a very private nature to say to me."
+
+"Ah, but she has," said Nurse Rosemary, brokenly.
+
+Garth considered this in silence.
+
+Then: "Turn over the page," he said, "and tell me the signature."
+
+"There are many pages," said Nurse Rosemary.
+
+"Turn over the pages then," said Garth, sternly. "Do not keep me
+waiting. How is that letter signed?"
+
+"YOUR WIFE," whispered Nurse Rosemary.
+
+There was a petrifying quality about the silence which followed. It
+seemed as if those two words, whispered into Garth's darkness, had
+turned him to stone.
+
+At last he stretched out his hand. "Will you give me that letter, if
+you please, Miss Gray? Thank you. I wish to be alone for a quarter of
+an hour. I shall be glad if you will be good enough to sit in the
+dining-room, and stop any one from coming into this room. I must be
+undisturbed. At the end of that time kindly return."
+
+He spoke so quietly that Jane's heart sank within her. Some display of
+agitation would have been reassuring. This was the man who, bowing his
+dark head towards the crucifixion window, said: "I accept the cross."
+This was the man, whose footsteps never once faltered as he strode down
+the aisle, and left her. This was the man, who had had the strength,
+ever since, to treat that episode between her and himself, as
+completely closed; no word of entreaty; no sign of remembrance; no hint
+of reproach. And this was the man to whom she had signed herself: "Your
+wife."
+
+In her whole life, Jane had never known fear. She knew it now.
+
+As she silently rose and left him, she stole one look at his face. He
+was sitting perfectly still; the letter in his hand. He had not turned
+his head toward her as he took it. His profile might have been a
+beautiful carving in white ivory. There was not the faintest tinge of
+colour in his face; just that ivory pallor, against the ebony lines of
+his straight brows, and smooth dark hair.
+
+Jane softly left the room, closing the door behind her.
+
+Then followed the longest fifteen minutes she had ever known. She
+realised what a tremendous conflict was in progress in that quiet room.
+Garth was arriving at his decision without having heard any of her
+arguments. By the strange fatality of his own insistence, he had heard
+only two words of her letter, and those the crucial words; the two
+words to which the whole letter carefully led up. They must have
+revealed to him instantly, what the character of the letter would be;
+and what was the attitude of mind towards himself, of the woman who
+wrote them.
+
+Jane paced the dining-room in desperation, remembering the hours of
+thought which had gone to the compiling of sentences, cautiously
+preparing his mind to the revelation of the signature.
+
+Suddenly, in the midst of her mental perturbation, there came to her
+the remembrance of a conversation between Nurse Rosemary and Garth over
+the pictures. The former had said: "Is she a wife?" And Garth had
+answered: "Yes." Jane had instantly understood what that answer
+revealed and implied. Because Garth had so felt her his during those
+wonderful moments on the terrace at Shenstone, that he could look up
+into her face and say, "My wife"--not as an interrogation, but as an
+absolute statement of fact,--he still held her this, as indissolubly as
+if priest, and book, and ring, had gone to the wedding of their union.
+To him, the union of souls came before all else; and if that had taken
+place, all that might follow was but the outward indorsement of an
+accomplished fact. Owing to her fear, mistrust, and deception, nothing
+had followed. Their lives had been sundered; they had gone different
+ways. He regarded himself as being no more to her than any other man of
+her acquaintance. During these years he had believed, that her part in
+that evening's wedding of souls had existed in his imagination, only;
+and had no binding effect upon her. But his remained. Because those
+words were true to him then, he had said them; and, because he had said
+them, he would consider her his wife, through life,--and after. It was
+the intuitive understanding of this, which had emboldened Jane so to
+sign her letter. But how would he reconcile that signature with the
+view of her conduct which he had all along taken, without ever having
+the slightest conception that there could be any other?
+
+Then Jane remembered, with comfort, the irresistible appeal made by
+Truth to the soul of the artist; truth of line; truth of colour; truth
+of values; and, in the realm of sound, truth of tone, of harmony, of
+rendering, of conception. And when Nurse Rosemary had said of his
+painting of "The Wife": "It is a triumph of art"; Garth had replied:
+"It is a triumph of truth." And Jane's own verdict on the look he had
+seen and depicted was: "It is true--yes, it is true!" Will he not
+realise now the truth of that signature; and, if he realises it, will
+he not be glad in his loneliness, that his wife should come to him;
+unless the confessions and admissions of the letter cause him to put
+her away as wholly unworthy?
+
+Suddenly Jane understood the immense advantage of the fact that he
+would hear every word of the rest of her letter, knowing the
+conclusion, which she herself could not possibly have put first. She
+saw a Higher Hand in this arrangement; and said, as she watched the
+minutes slowly pass: "He hath broken down the middle wall of partition
+between us"; and a sense of calm assurance descended, and garrisoned
+her soul with peace.
+
+The quarter of an hour was over.
+
+Jane crossed the hall with firm, though noiseless, step; stood a moment
+on the threshold relegating herself completely to the background; then
+opened the door; and Nurse Rosemary re-entered the library.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIV
+
+"LOVE NEVER FAILETH"
+
+
+Garth was standing at the open window, when Nurse Rosemary re-entered
+the library; and he did not turn, immediately.
+
+She looked anxiously for the letter, and saw it laid ready on her side
+of the table. It bore signs of having been much crumpled; looking
+almost as a letter might appear which had been crushed into a ball,
+flung into the waste-paper basket, and afterwards retrieved. It had,
+however, been carefully smoothed out; and lay ready to her hand.
+
+When Garth turned from the window and passed to his chair, his face
+bore the signs of a great struggle. He looked as one who, sightless,
+has yet been making frantic efforts to see. The ivory pallor was gone.
+His face was flushed; and his thick hair, which grew in beautiful
+curves low upon his forehead and temples, and was usually carefully
+brushed back in short-cropped neatness, was now ruffled and disordered.
+But his voice was completely under control, as he turned towards his
+secretary.
+
+"My dear Miss Gray," he said, "we have a difficult task before us. I
+have received a letter, which it is essential I should hear. I am
+obliged to ask you to read it to me, because there is absolutely no one
+else to whom I can prefer such a request. I cannot but know that it
+will be a difficult and painful task for you, feeling yourself an
+intermediary between two wounded and sundered hearts. May I make it
+easier, my dear little girl, by assuring you that I know of no one in
+this world from whose lips I could listen to the contents of that
+letter with less pain; and, failing my own, there are no eyes beneath
+which I could less grudgingly let it pass, there is no mind I could so
+unquestioningly trust, to judge kindly, both of myself and of the
+writer; and to forget faithfully, all which was not intended to come
+within the knowledge of a third person."
+
+"Thank you, Mr. Dalmain," said Nurse Rosemary.
+
+Garth leaned back in his chair, shielding his face with his hand.
+
+"Now, if you please," he said. And, very clearly and quietly, Nurse
+Rosemary began to read.
+
+"DEAR GARTH, As you will not let me come to you, so that I could say,
+between you and me alone, that which must be said, I am compelled to
+write it. It is your own fault, Dal; and we both pay the penalty. For
+how can I write to you freely when I know, that as you listen, it will
+seem to you of every word I am writing, that I am dragging a third
+person into that which ought to be, most sacredly, between you and me
+alone. And yet, I must write freely; and I must make you fully
+understand; because the whole of your future life and mine will depend
+upon your reply to this letter. I must write as if you were able to
+hold the letter in your own hands, and read it to yourself. Therefore,
+if you cannot completely trust your secretary, with the private history
+of your heart and mine, bid her give it you back without turning this
+first page; and let me come myself, Garth, and tell you all the rest."
+
+"That is the bottom of the page," said Nurse Rosemary; and waited.
+
+Garth did not remove his hand. "I do completely trust; and she must not
+come," he said.
+
+Nurse Rosemary turned the page, and went on reading.
+
+"I want you to remember, Garth, that every word I write, is the simple
+unvarnished truth. If you look back over your remembrance of me, you
+will admit that I am not naturally an untruthful person, nor did I ever
+take easily to prevarication. But, Garth, I told you one lie; and that
+fatal exception proves the rule of perfect truthfulness, which has
+always otherwise held, between you and me; and, please God, always will
+hold. The confession herein contained, concerns that one lie; and I
+need not ask you to realise how humbling it is to my pride to have to
+force the hearing of a confession upon the man who has already refused
+to admit me to a visit of friendship. You will remember that I am not
+naturally humble; and have a considerable amount of proper pride; and,
+perhaps, by the greatness of the effort I have had to make, you will be
+able to gauge the greatness of my love. God help you to do so--my
+darling; my beloved; my poor desolate boy!"
+
+Nurse Rosemary stopped abruptly; for, at this sudden mention of love,
+and at these words of unexpected tenderness from Jane, Garth had risen
+to his feet, and taken two steps towards the window; as if to escape
+from something too immense to be faced. But, in a moment he recovered
+himself, and sat down again, completely hiding his face with his hand.
+
+Nurse Rosemary resumed the reading of the letter.
+
+"Ah, what a wrong I have done, both to you, and to myself! Dear, you
+remember the evening on the terrace at Shenstone, when you asked me to
+be--when you called me--when I WAS--YOUR WIFE? Garth, I leave this last
+sentence as it stands, with its two attempts to reach the truth. I will
+not cross them out, but leave them to be read to you; for, you see
+Garth, I finally arrived! I WAS your wife. I did not understand it
+then. I was intensely surprised; unbelievably inexperienced in matters
+of feeling; and bewildered by the flood of sensation which swept me off
+my feet and almost engulfed me. But even then I knew that my soul arose
+and proclaimed you mate and master. And when you held me, and your dear
+head lay upon my heart, I knew, for the first time the meaning of the
+word ecstasy; and I could have asked no kinder gift of heaven, than to
+prolong those moments into hours."
+
+Nurse Rosemary's quiet voice broke, suddenly; and the reading ceased.
+
+Garth was leaning forward, his head buried in his hands. A dry sob rose
+in his throat, just at the very moment when Nurse Rosemary's voice gave
+way.
+
+Garth recovered first. Without lifting his head, with a gesture of
+protective affection and sympathy, he stretched his hand across the
+table.
+
+"Poor little girl," he said, "I am so sorry. It is rough on you. If
+only it had come when Brand was here! I am afraid you MUST go on; but
+try to read without realising. Leave the realising to me."
+
+And Nurse Rosemary read on.
+
+"When you lifted your head in the moonlight and gazed long and
+earnestly at me--Ah, those dear eyes!--your look suddenly made me
+self-conscious. There swept over me a sense of my own exceeding
+plainness, and of how little there was in what those dear eyes saw, to
+provide reason, for that adoring look. Overwhelmed with a shy shame I
+pressed your head back to the place where the eyes would be hidden; and
+I realise now what a different construction you must have put upon that
+action. Garth, I assure you, that when you lifted your head the second
+time, and said, 'My wife,' it was the first suggestion to my mind that
+this wonderful thing which was happening meant--marriage. I know it
+must seem almost incredible, and more like a child of eighteen, than a
+woman of thirty. But you must remember, all my dealings with men up to
+that hour had been handshakes, heartiest comradeship, and an occasional
+clap on the shoulder given and received. And don't forget, dear King of
+my heart, that, until one short week before, you had been amongst the
+boys who called me 'good old Jane,' and addressed me in intimate
+conversation as 'my dear fellow'! Don't forget that I had always looked
+upon you as YEARS younger than myself; and though a strangely sweet tie
+had grown up between us, since the evening of the concert at Overdene,
+I had never realised it as love. Well--you will remember how I asked
+for twelve hours to consider my answer; and you yielded, immediately;
+(you were so perfect, all the time, Garth) and left me, when I asked to
+be alone; left me, with a gesture I have never forgotten. It was a
+revelation of the way in which the love of a man such as you exalts the
+woman upon whom it is outpoured. The hem of that gown has been a sacred
+thing to me, ever since. It is always with me, though I never wear
+it.--A detailed account of the hours which followed, I shall hope to
+give you some day, my dearest. I cannot write it. Let me hurl on to
+paper, in all its crude ugliness, the miserable fact which parted us;
+turning our dawning joy to disillusion and sadness. Garth--it was this.
+I did not believe your love would stand the test of my plainness. I
+knew what a worshipper of beauty you were; how you must have it, in one
+form or another, always around you. I got out my diary in which I had
+recorded verbatim our conversation about the ugly preacher, whose face
+became illumined into beauty, by the inspired glory within. And you
+added that you never thought him ugly again; but he would always be
+plain. And you said it was not the sort of face one would want to have
+always before one at meals; but that you were not called upon to
+undergo that discipline, which would be sheer martyrdom to you."
+
+"I was so interested, at the time; and so amused at the unconscious way
+in which you stood and explained this, to quite the plainest woman of
+your acquaintance, that I recorded it very fully in my journal.--Alas!
+On that important night, I read the words, over and over, until they
+took morbid hold upon my brain. Then--such is the self-consciousness
+awakened in a woman by the fact that she is loved and sought--I turned
+on all the lights around my mirror, and critically and carefully
+examined the face you would have to see every day behind your
+coffee-pot at breakfast, for years and years, if I said 'Yes,' on the
+morrow. Darling, I did not see myself through your eyes, as, thank God,
+I have done since. And I DID NOT TRUST YOUR LOVE TO STAND THE TEST. It
+seemed to me, I was saving both of us from future disappointment and
+misery, by bravely putting away present joy, in order to avoid certain
+disenchantment. My beloved, it will seem to you so coolly calculating,
+and so mean; so unworthy of the great love you were even then lavishing
+upon me. But remember, for years, your remarkable personal grace and
+beauty had been a source of pleasure to me; and I had pictured you
+wedded to Pauline Lister, for instance, in her dazzling whiteness, and
+soft radiant youth. So my morbid self-consciousness said: 'What! This
+young Apollo, tied to my ponderous plainness; growing handsomer every
+year, while I grow older and plainer?' Ah, darling! It sounds so
+unworthy, now we know what our love is. But it sounded sensible and
+right that night; and at last, with a bosom that ached, and arms that
+hung heavy at the thought of being emptied of all that joy, I made up
+my mind to say 'no.' Ah, believe me, I had no idea what it already
+meant to you. I thought you would pass on at once to another fancy; and
+transfer your love to one more able to meet your needs, at every point.
+Honestly, Garth, I thought I should be the only one left
+desolate.--Then came the question: how to refuse you. I knew if I gave
+the true reason, you would argue it away, and prove me wrong, with
+glowing words, before which I should perforce yield. So--as I really
+meant not to let you run the risk, and not to run it myself--I lied to
+you, my beloved. To you, whom my whole being acclaimed King of my
+heart, Master of my will; supreme to me, in love and life,--to YOU I
+said: 'I cannot marry a mere boy.' Ah, darling! I do not excuse it. I
+do not defend it. I merely confess it; trusting to your generosity to
+admit, that no other answer would have sent you away. Ah, your poor
+Jane, left desolate! If you could have seen her in the little church,
+calling you back; retracting and promising; listening for your
+returning footsteps, in an agony of longing. But my Garth is not made
+of the stuff which stands waiting on the door-mat of a woman's
+indecision."
+
+"The lonely year which followed so broke my nerve, that Deryck Brand
+told me I was going all to pieces, and ordered me abroad. I went, as
+you know; and in other, and more vigorous, surroundings, there came to
+me a saner view of life. In Egypt last March, on the summit of the
+Great Pyramid, I made up my mind that I could live without you no
+longer. I did not see myself wrong; but I yearned so for your love, and
+to pour mine upon you, my beloved, that I concluded it was worth the
+risk. I made up my mind to take the next boat home, and send for you.
+Then--oh, my own boy--I heard. I wrote to you; and you would not let me
+come."
+
+"Now I know perfectly well, that you might say: 'She did not trust me
+when I had my sight. Now that I cannot see, she is no longer afraid.'
+Garth, you might, say that; but it would not be true. I have had ample
+proof lately that I was wrong, and ought to have trusted you all
+through. What it is, I will tell you later. All I can say now is: that,
+if your dear shining eyes could see, they would see, NOW, a woman who
+is, trustfully and unquestioningly, all your own. If she is doubtful of
+her face and figure, she says quite simply: 'They pleased HIM; and they
+are just HIS. I have no further right to criticise them. If he wants
+them, they are not mine, but his.' Darling, I cannot tell you now, how
+I have arrived at this assurance. But I have had proofs beyond words of
+your faithfulness and love."
+
+"The question, therefore, simply resolves itself into this: Can you
+forgive me? If you can forgive me, I can come to you at once. If this
+thing is past forgiveness, I must make up my mind to stay away. But,
+oh, my own Dear,--the bosom on which once you laid your head waits for
+you with the longing ache of lonely years. If you need it, do not
+thrust it from you."
+
+"Write me one word by your own hand: 'Forgiven.' It is all I ask. When
+it reaches me, I will come to you at once. Do not dictate a letter to
+your secretary. I could not bear it. Just write--if you can truly write
+it--'FORGIVEN'; and send it to 'Your Wife.'"
+
+The room was very still, as Nurse Rosemary finished reading; and,
+laying down the letter, silently waited. She wondered for a moment
+whether she could get herself a glass of water, without disturbing him;
+but decided to do without it.
+
+At last Garth lifted his head.
+
+"She has asked me to do a thing impossible," he said; and a slow smile
+illumined his drawn face.
+
+Jane clasped her hands upon her breast.
+
+"CAN you not write 'forgiven'?" asked Nurse Rosemary, brokenly.
+
+"No," said Garth. "I cannot. Little girl, give me a sheet of paper, and
+a pencil."
+
+Nurse Rosemary placed them close to his hand.
+
+Garth took up the pencil. He groped for the paper; felt the edges with
+his left hand; found the centre with his fingers; and, in large firm
+letters, wrote one word.
+
+"Is that legible?" he asked, passing it across to Nurse Rosemary.
+
+"Quite legible," she said; for she answered before it was blotted by
+her tears.
+
+Instead of "forgiven," Garth had written: "LOVED."
+
+"Can you post it at once?" Garth asked, in a low, eager voice. "And she
+will come--oh, my God, she will come! If we catch to-night's mail, she
+may be here the day after to-morrow!"
+
+Nurse Rosemary took up the letter; and, by an almost superhuman effort,
+spoke steadily.
+
+"Mr. Dalmain," she said; "there is a postscript to this letter. It
+says: 'Write to The Palace Hotel, Aberdeen.'"
+
+Garth sprang up, his whole face and figure alive with excitement.
+
+"In Aberdeen?" he cried. "Jane, in Aberdeen! Oh, my God! If she gets
+this paper to-morrow morning, she may be here any time in the day.
+Jane! Jane! Dear little Rosemary, do you hear? Jane will come
+to-morrow! Didn't I tell you something was going to happen? You and
+Simpson were too British to understand; but Margery knew; and the woods
+told us it was Joy coming through Pain. Could that be posted at once,
+Miss Gray?"
+
+The May-Day mood was upon him again. His face shone. His figure was
+electric with expectation. Nurse Rosemary sat at the table watching
+him; her chin in her hands. A tender smile dawned on her lips, out of
+keeping with her supposed face and figure; so full was it of the
+glorious expectation of a mature and perfect love.
+
+"I will go to the post-office myself, Mr. Dalmain," she said. "I shall
+be glad of the walk; and I can be back by tea-time."
+
+At the post-office she did not post the word in Garth's handwriting.
+That lay hidden in her bosom. But she sent off two telegrams. The first
+to
+
+    The Duchess of Meldyum,
+
+    Palace Hotel, Aberdeen.
+
+    "Come here by 5.50 train without fail this evening."
+
+The second to
+
+    Sir Deryck Brand,
+
+    Wimpole Sheet, London.
+
+    "All is right."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXV
+
+NURSE ROSEMARY HAS HER REWARD
+
+
+"Mr. Dalmain," said Nurse Rosemary, with patient insistence, "I really
+do want you to sit down, and give your mind to the tea-table. How can
+you remember where each thing is placed, if you keep jumping up, and
+moving your chair into different positions? And last time you pounded
+the table to attract my attention, which was already anxiously fixed
+upon you, you nearly knocked over your own tea, and sent floods of mine
+into the saucer. If you cannot behave better, I shall ask Margery for a
+pinafore, and sit you up on a high chair!"
+
+Garth stretched his legs in front of him, and his arms over his head;
+and lay back in his chair, laughing joyously.
+
+"Then I should have to say: 'Please, Nurse, may I get down?' What a
+cheeky little thing you are becoming! And you used to be quite
+oppressively polite. I suppose you would answer: 'If you say your grace
+nicely, Master Garth, you may.' Do you know the story of 'Tommy, you
+should say Your Grace'?"
+
+"You have told it to me twice in the last forty-eight hours," said
+Nurse Rosemary, patiently.
+
+"Oh, what a pity! I felt so like telling it now. If you had really been
+the sort of sympathetic person Sir Deryck described, you would have
+said: 'No; and I should so LOVE to hear it!'"
+
+"No; and I should so LOVE to hear it!" said Nurse Rosemary.
+
+"Too late! That sort of thing, to have any value should be spontaneous.
+It need not be true; but it MUST be spontaneous. But, talking of a high
+chair,--when you say those chaffy things in a voice like Jane's, and
+just as Jane would have said them--oh, my wig!--Do you know, that is
+the duchess's only original little swear. All the rest are quotations.
+And when she says: 'My wig!' we all try not to look at it. It is
+usually slightly awry. The toucan tweaks it. He is so very LOVING, dear
+bird!"
+
+"Now hand me the buttered toast," said Nurse Rosemary; "and don't tell
+me any more naughty stories about the duchess. No! That is the thin
+bread-and-butter. I told you you would lose your bearings. The toast is
+in a warm plate on your right. Now let us make believe I am Miss
+Champion, and hand it to me, as nicely as you will be handing it to
+her, this time to-morrow."
+
+"It is easy to make believe you are Jane, with that voice," said Garth;
+"and yet--I don't know. I have never really associated you with her.
+One little sentence of old Rob's made all the difference to me. He said
+you had fluffy floss-silk sort of hair. No one could ever imagine Jane
+with fluffy floss-silk sort of hair! And I believe that one sentence
+saved the situation. Otherwise, your voice would have driven me mad,
+those first days. As it was, I used to wonder sometimes if I could
+possibly bear it. You understand why, now; don't you? And yet, in a
+way, it is NOT like hers. Hers is deeper; and she often speaks with a
+delicious kind of drawl, and uses heaps of slang; and you are such a
+very proper little person; and possess what the primers call 'perfectly
+correct diction.' What fun it would be to hear you and Jane talk
+together! And yet--I don't know. I should be on thorns, all the time."
+
+"Why?"
+
+"I should be so awfully afraid lest you should not like one another.
+You see, YOU have really, in a way, been more to me than any one else
+in the world; and SHE--well, she IS my world," said Garth, simply. "And
+I should be so afraid lest she should not fully appreciate you; and you
+should not quite understand her. She has a sort of way of standing and
+looking people up and down, and, women hate it; especially pretty
+fluffy little women. They feel she spots all the things that come off."
+
+"Nothing of mine comes off," murmured Nurse Rosemary, "excepting my
+patient, when he will not stay on his chair."
+
+"Once," continued Garth, with the gleeful enjoyment in his voice which
+always presaged a story in which Jane figured, "there was a fearfully
+silly little woman staying at Overdene, when a lot of us were there. We
+never could make out why she was included in one of the duchess's 'best
+parties,' except that the dear duchess vastly enjoyed taking her off,
+and telling stories about her; and we could not appreciate the
+cleverness of the impersonation, unless we had seen the original. She
+was rather pretty, in a fussy, curling-tongs, wax-doll sort of way; but
+she never could let her appearance alone, or allow people to forget it.
+Almost every sentence she spoke, drew attention to it. We got very sick
+of it, and asked Jane to make her shut up. But Jane said: 'It doesn't
+hurt you, boys; and it pleases her. Let her be.' Jane was always extra
+nice to people, if she suspected they were asked down in order to make
+sport for the duchess afterwards. Jane hated that sort of thing. She
+couldn't say much to her aunt; but we had to be very careful how we
+egged the duchess on, if Jane was within hearing. Well--one evening,
+after tea, a little group of us were waiting around the fire in the
+lower hall, to talk to Jane. It was Christmas time. The logs looked so
+jolly on the hearth. The red velvet curtains were drawn right across,
+covering the terrace door and the windows on either side. Tommy sat on
+his perch, in the centre of the group, keeping a keen lookout for
+cigarette ends. Outside, the world was deep in snow; and that wonderful
+silence reigned; making the talk and laughter within all the more gay
+by contrast--you know, that PENETRATING silence; when trees, and
+fields, and paths, are covered a foot thick in soft sparkling
+whiteness. I always look forward, just as eagerly, each winter to the
+first sight--ah, I forgot! ... Fancy never seeing snow again! ...
+Never mind. It is something to remember HAVING seen it; and I shall
+hear the wonderful snow-silence more clearly than ever. Perhaps before
+other people pull up the blinds, I shall be able to say: 'There's been
+a fall of snow in the night.' What was I telling you? Yes, I remember.
+About little Mrs. Fussy. Well--all the women had gone up to dress for
+dinner; excepting Jane, who never needed more than half an hour; and
+Fussy, who was being sprightly, in a laboured way; and fancied herself
+the centre of attraction which kept us congregated in the hall. As a
+matter of fact, we were waiting to tell Jane some private news we had
+just heard about a young chap in the guards, who was in fearful hot
+water for ragging. His colonel was an old friend of Jane's, and we
+thought she could put in a word, and improve matters for Billy. So Mrs.
+Fussy was very much de trop, and didn't know it. Jane was sitting with
+her back to all of us, her feet on the fender, and her skirt turned up
+over her knees. Oh, there was another one, underneath; a handsome silk
+thing, with rows of little frills,--which you would think should have
+gone on outside. But Jane's best things are never paraded; always
+hidden. I don't mean clothes, now; but her splendid self. Well--little
+Fussy was 'chatting'--she never talked--about herself and her
+conquests; quite unconscious that we all wished her at Jericho. Jane
+went on reading the evening paper; but she felt the atmosphere growing
+restive. Presently--ah, but I must not tell you the rest. I have just
+remembered. Jane made us promise never to repeat it. She thought it
+detrimental to the other woman. But we just had time for our confab;
+and Jane caught the evening post with the letter which got Billy off
+scot-free; and yet came down punctually to dinner, better dressed than
+any of them. We felt it rather hard luck to have to promise; because we
+had each counted on being the first to tell the story to the duchess.
+But, you know, you always have to do as Jane says."
+
+"Why?"
+
+"Oh, I don't know! I can't explain why. If you knew her, you would not
+need to ask. Cake, Miss Gray?"
+
+"Thank you. Right, this time."
+
+"There! That is exactly as Jane would have said: 'Right, this time.' Is
+it not strange that after having for weeks thought your voice so like
+hers, to-morrow I shall be thinking her voice so like yours?"
+
+"Oh, no, you will not," said Nurse Rosemary. "When she is with you, you
+will have no thoughts for other people."
+
+"Indeed, but I shall!" cried Garth. "And, dear little Rosemary, I shall
+miss you, horribly. No one--not even she--can take your place. And, do
+you know," he leaned forward, and a troubled look clouded the gladness
+of his face, "I am beginning to feel anxious about it. She has not seen
+me since the accident. I am afraid it will give her a shock. Do you
+think she will find me much changed?"
+
+Jane looked at the sightless face turned so anxiously toward her. She
+remembered that morning in his room, when he thought himself alone with
+Dr. Rob; and, leaving the shelter of the wall, sat up to speak, and she
+saw his face for the first time. She remembered turning to the
+fireplace, so that Dr. Rob should not see the tears raining down her
+cheeks. She looked again at Garth--now growing conscious, for the first
+time, of his disfigurement; and then, only for her sake--and an almost
+overwhelming tenderness gripped her heart. She glanced at the clock.
+She could not hold out much longer.
+
+"Is it very bad?" said Garth; and his voice shook.
+
+"I cannot answer for another woman," replied Nurse Rosemary; "but I
+should think your face, just as it is, will always be her joy."
+
+Garth flushed; pleased and relieved, but slightly surprised. There was
+a quality in Nurse Rosemary's voice, for which he could not altogether
+account.
+
+"But then, she will not be accustomed to my blind ways," he continued.
+"I am afraid I shall seem so helpless and so blundering. She has not
+been in Sightless Land, as you and I have been. She does not know all
+our plans of cords, and notches, and things. Ah, little Rosemary!
+Promise not to leave me to-morrow. I want Her--only God, knows how I
+want her; but I begin to be half afraid. It will be so wonderful, for
+the great essentials; but, for the little every-day happenings, which
+are so magnified by the darkness, oh, my kind unseen guide, how I shall
+need you. At first, I thought it lucky you had settled to go, just when
+she is coming; but now, just because she is coming, I cannot let you
+go. Having her will be wonderful beyond words; but it will not be the
+same as having you."
+
+Nurse Rosemary was receiving her reward, and she appeared to find it
+rather overwhelming.
+
+As soon as she could speak, she said, gently: "Don't excite yourself
+over it, Mr. Dalmain. Believe me, when you have been with her for five
+minutes, you will find it just the same as having me. And how do you
+know she has not also been in Sightless Land? A nurse would do that
+sort of thing, because she was very keen on her profession, and on
+making a success of her case. The woman who loves you would do it for
+love of you."
+
+"It would be like her," said Garth; and leaned back, a look of deep
+contentment gathering on his face. "Oh, Jane! Jane! She is coming! She
+is coming!"
+
+Nurse Rosemary looked at the clock.
+
+"Yes; she is coming," she said; and though her voice was steady, her
+hands trembled. "And, as it is our last evening together under quite
+the same circumstances as during all these weeks, will you agree to a
+plan of mine? I must go upstairs now, and do some packing, and make a
+few arrangements. But will you dress early? I will do the same; and if
+you could be down in the library by half-past six, we might have some
+music before dinner."
+
+"Why certainly," said Garth. "It makes no difference to me at what time
+I dress; and I am always ready for music. But, I say: I wish you were
+not packing, Miss Gray."
+
+"I am not exactly packing up," replied Nurse Rosemary. "I am packing
+things away."
+
+"It is all the same, if it means leaving. But you have promised not to
+go until she comes?"
+
+"I will not go--until she comes."
+
+"And you will tell her all the things she ought to know?"
+
+"She shall know all I know, which could add to your comfort."
+
+"And you will not leave me, until I am really--well, getting on all
+right?"
+
+"I will never leave you, while you need me," said Nurse Rosemary. And
+again Garth detected that peculiar quality in her voice. He rose, and
+came towards where he heard her to be standing.
+
+"Do you know, you are no end of a brick," he said, with emotion. Then
+he held out both hands towards her. "Put your hands in mine just for
+once, little Rosemary. I want to try to thank you."
+
+There was a moment of hesitation. Two strong capable hands--strong and
+capable, though, just then, they trembled--nearly went home to his; but
+were withdrawn just in time. Jane's hour was not yet. This was Nurse
+Rosemary's moment of triumph and success. It should not be taken from
+her.
+
+"This evening," she said, softly, "after the music, we will--shake
+hands. Now be careful, sir. You are stranded. Wait. Here is the
+garden-cord, just to your left. Take a little air on the terrace; and
+sing again the lovely song I heard under my window this morning. And
+now that you know what it is that is 'going to happen,' this exquisite
+May-Day evening will fill you with tender expectation. Good-bye,
+sir--for an hour."
+
+"What has come to little Rosemary?" mused Garth, as he felt for his
+cane, in its corner by the window. "We could not have gone on
+indefinitely quite as we have been, since she came in from the
+post-office."
+
+He walked on; a troubled look clouding his face: Suddenly it lifted,
+and he stood still, and laughed. "Duffer!" he said. "Oh, what a
+conceited duffer! She is thinking of her 'young man.' She is going to
+him to-morrow; and her mind is full of him; just as mine is full of
+Jane. Dear, good, clever, little Rosemary! I hope he is worthy of her.
+No; that he cannot be. I hope he knows he is NOT worthy of her. That is
+more to the point. I hope he will receive her as she expects. Somehow,
+I hate letting her go to him. Oh, hang the fellow!--as Tommy would say."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVI
+
+THE REVELATION OF THE ROSARY
+
+
+Simpson was crossing the hall just before half-past six o'clock. He had
+left his master in the library. He heard a rustle just above him; and,
+looking up, saw a tall figure descending the wide oak staircase.
+
+Simpson stood transfixed. The soft black evening-gown, with its
+trailing folds, and old lace at the bosom, did not impress him so much
+as the quiet look of certainty and power on the calm face above them.
+
+"Simpson," said Jane, "my aunt, the Duchess of Meldrum, and her maid,
+and her footman, and a rather large quantity of luggage, will be
+arriving from Aberdeen, at about half-past seven. Mrs. Graem knows
+about preparing rooms; and I have given James orders for meeting the
+train with the brougham, and the luggage-cart. The duchess dislikes
+motors. When her Grace arrives, you can show her into the library. We
+will dine in the dining-room at a quarter past eight. Meanwhile, Mr.
+Dalmain and myself are particularly engaged just now, and must not be
+disturbed on any account, until the duchess's arrival. You quite
+understand?"
+
+"Yes, miss-m'lady," stammered Simpson. He had been boot-boy in a ducal
+household early in his career; and he considered duchesses' nieces to
+be people before whom one should bow down.
+
+Jane smiled. "'Miss' is quite sufficient, Simpson," she said; and swept
+towards the library.
+
+Garth heard her enter, and close the door; and his quick ear caught the
+rustle of a train.
+
+"Hullo, Miss Gray," he said. "Packed your uniform?"
+
+"Yes," said Jane. "I told you I was packing."
+
+She came slowly across the room, and stood on the hearth-rug looking
+down at him. He was in full evening-dress; just as at Shenstone on that
+memorable night; and, as he sat well back in his deep arm-chair, one
+knee crossed over the other, she saw the crimson line of his favourite
+silk socks.
+
+Jane stood looking down upon him. Her hour had come at last. But even
+now she must, for his sake, be careful and patient.
+
+"I did not hear the song," she said.
+
+"No," replied Garth. "At first, I forgot. And when I remembered, I had
+been thinking of other things, and somehow--ah, Miss Gray! I cannot
+sing to-night. My soul is dumb with longing."
+
+"I know," said Jane, gently; "and I am going to sing to you."
+
+A faint look of surprise crossed Garth's face. "Do you sing?" he asked.
+"Then why have you not sung before?"
+
+"When I arrived," said Jane, "Dr. Rob asked me whether I played. I
+said: 'A little.' Thereupon he concluded I sang a little, too; and he
+forbade me, most peremptorily, either to play a little; or sing a
+little, to you. He said he did not want you driven altogether mad."
+
+Garth burst out laughing.
+
+"How like old Robbie," he said. "And, in spite of his injunctions, are
+you going to take the risk, and 'sing a little,' to me, to-night?"
+
+"No," said Jane. "I take no risks. I am going to sing you one song.
+Here is the purple cord, at your right hand. There is nothing between
+you and the piano; and you are facing towards it. If you want to stop
+me--you can come."
+
+She walked to the instrument, and sat down.
+
+Over the top of the grand piano, she could see him, leaning back in his
+chair; a slightly amused smile playing about his lips. He was evidently
+still enjoying the humour of Dr. Rob's prohibition.
+
+The Rosary has but one opening chord. She struck it; her eyes upon his
+face. She saw him sit up, instantly; a look of surprise, expectation,
+bewilderment, gathering there.
+
+Then she began to sing. The deep rich voice, low and vibrant, as the
+softest tone of 'cello, thrilled into the startled silence.
+
+     "The hours I spent with thee, dear heart,
+      Are as a string of pearls to me;
+      I count them over, ev'ry one apart,
+      My rosary,--my rosary.
+      Each hour a pearl--"
+
+Jane got no further.
+
+Garth had risen. He spoke no word; but he was coming blindly over to
+the piano. She turned on the music-stool, her arms held out to receive
+him. Now he had found the woodwork. His hand crashed down upon the
+bass. Now he had found her. He was on his knees, his arms around her.
+Hers enveloped him--, yearning, tender, hungry with the repressed
+longing of all those hard weeks.
+
+He lifted his sightless face to hers, for one moment. "You?" he said.
+"YOU? You--all the time?"
+
+Then he hid his face in the soft lace at her breast.
+
+"Oh, my boy, my darling!" said Jane, tenderly; holding the dear head
+close. "Yes; I, all the time; all the time near him, in his loss and
+pain. Could I have stopped away? But, oh, Garth! What it is, at last to
+hold you, and touch you, and feel you here! ... Yes, it is I. Oh, my
+beloved, are you not quite sure? Who else could hold you thus? ...
+Take care, my darling! Come over to the couch, just here; and sit
+beside me."
+
+Garth rose, and raised her, without loosing her; and she guided herself
+and him to a safer seat close by. But there again he flung himself upon
+his knees, and held her; his arms around her waist; his face hidden in
+the shelter of her bosom.
+
+"Ah,--darling, darling," said Jane softly, and her hands stole up
+behind his head, with a touch of unspeakable protective tenderness; "it
+has been so sweet to wait upon my boy; and help him in his darkness;
+and shield him from unnecessary pain; and be always there, to meet his
+every need. But I could not come myself--until he knew; and understood;
+and had forgiven--no, not 'forgiven'; understood, and yet still LOVED.
+For he does now understand? And he does forgive? ... Oh, Garth! ...
+Oh--hush, my darling! ... You frighten me! ... No, I will never
+leave you; never, never! ... Oh, can't you understand, my beloved? ...
+Then I must tell you more plainly. Darling,--do be still, and
+listen. Just for a few days we must be as we have been; only my boy
+will know it is I who am near him. Aunt 'Gina is coming this evening.
+She will be here in half an hour. Then, as soon as possible we will get
+a special license; and we will be married, Garth; and then--" Jane
+paused; and the man who knelt beside her, held his breath to
+listen--"and then," continued Jane in a low tender voice, which
+gathered in depth of sacred mystery, yet did not falter--"then it will
+be my highest joy, to be always with my husband, night and day."
+
+A long sweet silence. The tempest of emotion in her arms was hushed to
+rest. The eternal voice of perfect love had whispered: "Peace, be
+still"; and there was a great calm.
+
+At last Garth lifted his head. "Always? Always together?" he said. "Ah,
+that will be 'perpetual light!'"
+
+      *      *      *      *      *
+
+When Simpson, pale with importance, flung open the library door, and
+announced: "Her Grace, the Duchess of Meldrum," Jane was seated at the
+piano, playing soft dreamy chords; and a slim young man, in evening
+dress, advanced with eager hospitality to greet his guest.
+
+The duchess either did not see, or chose to ignore the guiding cord.
+She took his outstretched hand warmly in both her own.
+
+"Goodness gracious, my dear Dal! How you surprise me! I expected to
+find you blind! And here you are striding about, just your old handsome
+self!"
+
+"Dear Duchess," said Garth, and stooping, kissed the kind old hands
+still holding his; "I cannot see you, I am sorry to say; but I don't
+feel very blind to-night. My darkness has been lightened by a joy
+beyond expression."
+
+"Oh ho! So that's the way the land lies! Now which are you going to
+marry? The nurse,--who, I gather, is a most respectable young person,
+and highly recommended; or that hussy, Jane; who, without the smallest
+compunction, orders her poor aunt from one end of the kingdom to the
+other, to suit her own convenience?"
+
+Jane came over from the piano, and slipped her hand through her lover's
+arm.
+
+"Dear Aunt 'Gina," she said; "you know you loved coming; because you
+enjoy a mystery, and like being a dear old 'deus ex machina,' at the
+right moment. And he is going to marry them both; because they both
+love him far too dearly ever to leave him again; and he seems to think
+he cannot do without either."
+
+The duchess looked at the two radiant faces; one sightless; the other,
+with glad proud eyes for both; and her own filled with tears.
+
+"Hoity-toity!" she said. "Are we in Salt Lake City?  Well, we always
+thought one girl would not do for Dal; he would need the combined
+perfections of several; and he appears to think he has found them. God
+bless you both, you absurdly happy people; and I will bless you, too;
+but not until I have dined. Now, ring for that very nervous person,
+with side-whiskers; and tell him I want my maid, and my room, and I
+want to know where they have put my toucan. I had to bring him, Jane.
+He is so LOVING, dear bird! I knew you would think him in the way; but
+I really could not leave him behind."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVII
+
+"IN THE FACE OF THIS CONGREGATION"
+
+
+The society paragraphs would have described it as "a very quiet
+wedding," when Garth and Jane, a few days later, were pronounced "man
+and wife together," in the little Episcopal church among the hills.
+
+Perhaps, to those who were present, it stands out rather as an unusual
+wedding, than as a quiet one.
+
+To Garth and Jane the essential thing was to be married, and left to
+themselves, with as little delay as possible. They could not be induced
+to pay any attention to details as to the manner in which this desired
+end was to be attained. Jane left it entirely to the doctor, in one
+practical though casual sentence: "Just make sure it is valid, Dicky;
+and send us in the bills."
+
+The duchess, being a true conservative, early began mentioning veils,
+orange-blossom, and white satin; but Jane said: "My dear Aunt! Fancy
+me--in orange-blossom! I should look like a Christmas pantomime. And I
+never wear veils, even in motors; and white satin is a form of clothing
+I have always had the wisdom to avoid."
+
+"Then in what do you intend to be married, unnatural girl?" inquired
+the duchess.
+
+"In whatever I happen to put on, that morning," replied Jane, knotting
+the silk of a soft crimson cord she was knitting; and glancing out of
+the window, to where Garth sat smoking, on the terrace.
+
+"Have you a time-table?" inquired her Grace of Meldrum, with dangerous
+calmness. "And can you send me to the station this afternoon?"
+
+"We can always send to the station, at a moment's notice," said Jane,
+working in a golden strand, and considering the effect. "But where are
+you going, dear Aunt 'Gina? You know Deryck and Flower arrive this
+evening."
+
+"I am washing my hands of you, and going South," said the duchess,
+wrathfully.
+
+"Don't do that, dear," said Jane, placidly. "You have washed your hands
+of me so often; and, like the blood of King Duncan of Scotland, I am
+upon them still. 'All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this
+little hand.'" Then, raising her voice: "Garth, if you want to walk,
+just give a call. I am here, talking over my trousseau with Aunt 'Gina."
+
+"What is a trousseau?" came back in Garth's happy voice.
+
+"A thing you get into to be married," said Jane.
+
+"Then let's get into it quickly," shouted Garth, with enthusiasm.
+
+"Dear Aunt," said Jane, "let us make a compromise. I have some quite
+nice clothes upstairs, including Redfern tailor-mades, and several
+uniforms. Let your maid look through them, and whatever you select, and
+she puts out in readiness on my wedding morning, I promise to wear."
+
+This resulted in Jane appearing at the church in a long blue cloth coat
+and skirt, handsomely embroidered with gold, and suiting her large
+figure to perfection; a deep yellow vest of brocaded silk; and old lace
+ruffles at neck and wrists.
+
+Garth was as anxious about his wedding garments, as Jane had been
+indifferent over hers; but he had so often been in requisition as
+best-man at town weddings, that Simpson had no difficulty in turning
+him out in the acme of correct bridal attire. And very handsome he
+looked, as he stood waiting at the chancel steps; not watching for his
+bride; but obviously listening for her; for, as Jane came up the church
+on Deryck's arm, Garth slightly turned his head and smiled.
+
+The duchess--resplendent in purple satin and ermine, with white plumes
+in her bonnet, and many jewelled chains depending from her, which
+rattled and tinkled, in the silence of the church, every time she
+moved--was in a front pew on the left, ready to give her niece away.
+
+In a corresponding seat, on the opposite side, as near as possible to
+the bridegroom, sat Margery Graem, in black silk, with a small quilted
+satin bonnet, and a white lawn kerchief folded over the faithful old
+heart which had beaten in tenderness for Garth since his babyhood. She
+turned her head anxiously, every time the duchess jingled; but
+otherwise kept her eyes fixed on the marriage service, in a large-print
+prayer-book in her lap. Margery was not used to the Episcopal service,
+and she had her "doots" as to whether it could possibly be gone through
+correctly, by all parties concerned. In fact this anxiety of old
+Margery's increased so painfully when the ceremony actually commenced,
+that it took audible form; and she repeated all the answers of the
+bridal pair, in an impressive whisper, after them.
+
+Dr. Rob, being the only available bachelor, did duty as best-man; Jane
+having stipulated that he should not be intrusted with the ring; her
+previous observations leading her to conclude that he would most
+probably slip it unconsciously on to his finger, and then search
+through all his own pockets and all Garth's; and begin taking up the
+church matting, before it occurred to him to look at his hand. Jane
+would not have minded the diversion, but she did object to any delay.
+So the ring went to church in Garth's waistcoat pocket, where it had
+lived since Jane brought it out from Aberdeen; and, without any
+fumbling or hesitation, was quietly laid by him upon the open book.
+
+Dr. Rob had charge of the fees for clerk, verger, bell-ringers, and
+every person, connected with the church, who could possibly have a tip
+pressed upon them.
+
+Garth was generous in his gladness, and eager to do all things in a
+manner worthy of the great gift made fully his that day. So Dr. Rob was
+well provided with the wherewithal; and this he jingled in his pockets
+as soon as the exhortation commenced, and his interest in the
+proceedings resulted in his fatal habit of unconsciousness of his own
+actions. Thus he and the duchess kept up a tinkling duet, each hearing
+the other, and not their own sounds. So the duchess glared at Dr. Rob;
+and Dr. Rob frowned at the duchess; and old Margery looked tearfully at
+both.
+
+Deryck Brand, the tallest man in the church, his fine figure showing to
+advantage in the long frock coat with silk facings, which Lady Brand
+had pronounced indispensable to the occasion, retired to a seat beside
+his wife, just behind old Margery, as soon as he had conducted Jane to
+Garth's side. As Jane removed her hand from his arm, she turned and
+smiled at him; and a long look passed between them. All the memories,
+all the comprehension, all the trust and affection of years, seemed to
+concentrate in that look; and Lady Brand's eyes dropped to her dainty
+white and gold prayer-book. She had never known jealousy; the doctor
+had never given her any possible reason for acquiring that cruel
+knowledge. His Flower bloomed for him; and her fragrance alone made his
+continual joy. All other lovely women were mere botanical specimens, to
+be examined and classified. But Flower had never quite understood the
+depth of the friendship between her husband and Jane, founded on the
+associations and aspirations of childhood and early youth, and a
+certain similarity of character which would not have wedded well, but
+which worked out into a comradeship, providing a source of strength for
+both. Of late, Flower had earnestly tried to share, even while failing
+to comprehend, it.
+
+Perhaps she, in her pale primrose gown, with daffodils at her waist,
+and sunbeams in her golden hair, was the most truly bridal figure in
+the church. As the doctor turned from the bride, and sought his place
+beside her in the pew, he looked at the sweet face, bent so demurely
+over the prayer-book, and thought he had never seen his wife look more
+entrancingly lovely. Unconsciously his hand strayed to the white
+rosebud she had fastened in his coat as they strolled round the
+conservatory together that morning. Flower, glancing up, surprised his
+look. She did not think it right to smile in church; but a delicate
+wave of colour swept over her face, and her cheek leaned as near the
+doctor's shoulder, as the size of her hat would allow. Flower felt
+quite certain that was a look the doctor had never given Jane.
+
+The service commenced. The short-sighted clergyman, very nervous, and
+rather overwhelmed by the unusual facts of a special license, a blind
+bridegroom, and the reported presence of a duchess, began reading very
+fast, in an undertone, which old Margery could not follow, though her
+finger, imprisoned in unwonted kid, hurried along the lines. Then
+conscious of his mistake, he slowed down, and became too impressive;
+making long nerve-straining pauses, fled in by the tinkling of the
+duchess, and the chinking in Dr. Rob's trousers-pockets.
+
+Thus they arrived at the demand upon the congregation, if they could
+show any just cause why these two persons might not lawfully be joined
+together, NOW to speak--and the pause here was so long, and so
+over-powering, that old Margery said "nay"; and then gave a nervous
+sob. The bridegroom turned and smiled in the direction of the voice;
+and the doctor, leaning forward, laid his hand on the trembling
+shoulder, and whispered: "Steady, old friend. It is all right."
+
+There was no pause whatever after the solemn charge to the couple; so
+if Garth and Jane had any secrets to disclose, they had perforce to
+keep them for after discussion.
+
+Then Jane found her right hand firmly clasped in Garth's; and no
+inadequacy of the Church's mouth-piece could destroy the exquisite
+beauty of the Church's words, in which Garth was asked if he would take
+her to be his own.
+
+To this, Garth, and old Margery, said they would; with considerable
+display of emotion.
+
+Then the all-comprehensive question was put to Jane; the Church seeming
+to remind her gently, that she took him in his blindness, with all
+which that might entail.
+
+Jane said: "I will"; and the deep, tender voice, was the voice of The
+Rosary.
+
+When the words were uttered, Garth lifted the hand he held, and
+reverently kissed it.
+
+This was not in the rubric, and proved disconcerting to the clergyman.
+He threw up his head suddenly, and inquired: "Who giveth this woman to
+be married to this man?" And as, for the moment, there was no response,
+he repeated, the question wildly; gazing into distant corners of the
+church.
+
+Then the duchess, who up to that time had been feeling a little bored,
+realised that her moment had come, and rejoiced. She sailed out of her
+pew, and advanced to the chancel step. "My dear good man," she said;
+"_I_ give my niece away; having come north at considerable
+inconvenience for that express purpose. Now, go on. What do we do next?"
+
+Dr. Rob broke into an uncontrollable chuckle. The duchess lifted her
+lorgnette, and surveyed him. Margery searched her prayer-book in vain
+for the duchess's response. It did not appear to be there.
+
+Flower looked in distressed appeal at the doctor. But the doctor was
+studying, with grave intentness, a stencilled pattern on the chancel
+roof; and paid no attention to Flower's nudge.
+
+The only people completely unconscious of anything unusual in the order
+of proceedings appeared to be the bride and bridegroom. They were
+taking each other "in the sight of God, and in the face of this
+congregation." They were altogether absorbed in each other, standing
+together in the sight of God; and the deportment of "this congregation"
+was a matter they scarcely noticed. "People always behave grotesquely
+at weddings," Jane had said to Garth, beforehand; "and ours will be no
+exception to the general rule. But we can close our eyes, and stand
+together in Sightless Land; and Deryck will take care it is valid."
+
+"Not in Sightless Land, my beloved," said Garth; "but in the Land where
+they need no candle neither light of the sun. However, and wherever, I
+take YOU as my wife, I shall be standing on the summit of God's heaven."
+
+So they stood; and in their calmness the church hushed to silence. The
+service proceeded; and the minister, who had not known how to keep them
+from clasping hands when the rubric did not require it, found no
+difficulty in inducing them to do so again.
+
+So they took each other--these two, who were so deeply each other's
+already--solemnly, reverently, tenderly, in the sight of God, they took
+each other, according to God's holy ordinance; and the wedding ring,
+type of that eternal love which has neither beginning nor ending,
+passed from Garth's pocket, over the Holy Book, on to Jane's finger.
+
+When it was over, she took his arm; and leaning upon it, so that he
+could feel she leaned, guided him to the vestry.
+
+Afterwards, in the brougham, for those few precious minutes, when
+husband and wife find themselves alone for the first time, Garth turned
+to Jane with an eager naturalness, which thrilled her heart as no
+studied speech could have done. He did not say: "My wife." That unique
+moment had been theirs, three years before.
+
+"Dearest," he said, "how soon will they all go? How soon shall we be
+quite alone? Oh, why couldn't they drive to the station from the
+church?"
+
+Jane looked at her watch. "Because we must lunch them, dear," she said.
+"Think how good they have all been. And we could not start our married
+life by being inhospitable. It is just one o'clock; and we ordered
+luncheon at half-past. Their train leaves the station at half-past
+four. In three hours, Garth, we shall be alone."
+
+"Shall I be able to behave nicely for three hours?" exclaimed Garth,
+boyishly.
+
+"You must," said Jane, "or I shall fetch Nurse Rosemary."
+
+"Oh hush!" he said. "All that is too precious, to-day, for chaff.
+Jane"--he turned suddenly, and laid his hand on hers--"Jane! Do you
+understand that you are now--actually--my wife?"
+
+Jane took his hand, and held it against her heart, just where she so
+often had pressed her own, when she feared he would hear it throbbing.
+
+"My darling," she said, "I do not understand it. But I know--ah, thank
+God!--I know it to be true."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVIII
+
+PERPETUAL LIGHT
+
+
+Moonlight on the terrace--silvery, white, serene. Garth and Jane had
+stepped out into the brightness; and, finding the night so warm and
+still, and the nightingales filling the woods and hills with
+soft-throated music, they moved their usual fireside chairs close to
+the parapet, and sat there in restful comfort, listening to the sweet
+sounds of the quiet night.
+
+The solitude was so perfect; the restfulness so complete. Garth had
+removed the cushion seat from his chair, and placed it on the gravel;
+and sat at his wife's feet leaning against her knees. She stroked his
+hair and brow softly, as they talked; and every now and then he put up
+his hand, drew hers to his lips, and kissed the ring he had never seen.
+
+Long tender silences fell between them. Now that they were at last
+alone, thoughts too deep, joys too sacred for words, trembled about
+them; and silence seemed to express more than speech. Only, Garth could
+not bear Jane to be for a moment out of reach of his hand. What to
+another would have been: "I cannot let her out of my sight," was, to
+him, "I cannot let her be beyond my touch." And Jane fully understood
+this; and let him feel her every moment within reach. And the bliss of
+this was hers as well as his; for sometimes it had seemed to her as if
+the hunger in her heart, caused by those long weeks of waiting, when
+her arms ached for him, and yet she dared not even touch his hand,
+would never be appeased.
+
+"Sweet, sweet, sweet--thrill," sang a nightingale in the wood. And
+Garth whistled an exact imitation.
+
+"Oh, darling," said Jane, "that reminds me; there is something I do so
+want you to sing to me. I don't know what it is; but I think you will
+remember. It was on that Monday evening, after I had seen the pictures,
+and Nurse Rosemary had described them to you. Both our poor hearts were
+on the rack; and I went up early in order to begin my letter of
+confession; but you told Simpson not to come for you until eleven.
+While I was writing in the room above, I could hear you playing in the
+library. You played many things I knew--music we had done together,
+long ago. And then a theme I had never heard crept in, and caught my
+ear at once, because it was quite new to me, and so marvellously sweet.
+I put down my pen and listened. You played it several times, with
+slight variations, as if trying to recall it. And then, to my joy, you
+began to sing. I crossed the room; softly opened my window, and leaned
+out. I could hear some of the words; but not all. Two lines, however,
+reached me distinctly, with such penetrating, tender sadness, that I
+laid my head against the window-frame, feeling as if I could write no
+more, and wait no longer, but must go straight to you at once."
+
+Garth drew down the dear hand which had held the pen that night; turned
+it over, and softly kissed the palm.
+
+"What were they, Jane?" he said.
+
+   "'Lead us, O Christ, when all is gone,
+     Safe home at last.'"
+
+"And oh, my darling, the pathos of those words, 'when all is gone'!
+Whoever wrote that music, had been through suffering such as ours. Then
+came a theme of such inspiring hopefulness and joy, that I arose, armed
+with fresh courage; took up my pen, and went on with my letter. Again
+two lines had reached me:"
+
+     "'Where Thou, Eternal Light of Light,
+       Art Lord of All.'"
+
+"What is it, Garth? And whose? And where did you hear it? And will you
+sing it to me now, darling? I have a sudden wish that you should sing
+it, here and now; and I can't wait!"
+
+Garth sat up, and laughed--a short happy laugh, in which all sorts of
+emotions were mingled.
+
+"Jane! I like to hear you say you can't wait. It isn't like you;
+because you are so strong and patient. And yet it is so deliciously
+like you, if you FEEL it, to SAY it. I found the words in the
+Anthem-book at Worcester Cathedral, this time last year, at even-song.
+I copied them into my pocket-book, during the reading of the first
+lesson, I am ashamed to say; but it was all about what Balak said unto
+Balaam, and Balaam said unto Balak,--so I hope I may be forgiven! They
+seemed to me some of the most beautiful words I had ever read; and,
+fortunately, I committed them to memory. Of course, I will sing them to
+you, if you wish, here and now. But I am afraid the air will sound
+rather poor without the accompaniment. However, not for worlds would I
+move from here, at this moment."
+
+So sitting up; in the moonlight, with his back to Jane, his face
+uplifted, and his hands clasped around one knee, Garth sang. Much
+practice had added greatly to the sweetness and flexibility of his
+voice; and he rendered perfectly the exquisite melody to which the
+words were set.
+
+Jane listened with an overflowing heart.
+
+   "The radiant morn hath passed away,
+    And spent too soon her golden store;
+    The shadows of departing day
+    Creep on once more.
+   "Our life is but a fading dawn,
+    Its glorious noon, how quickly past!
+    Lead us, O Christ, when all is gone,
+    Safe home at last.
+   "Where saints are clothed in spotless white,
+    And evening shadows never fall;
+    where Thou, Eternal Light of Light,
+    Art Lord of All."
+
+The triumphant worship of the last line rang out into the night, and
+died away. Garth loosed his hands, and leaned back, with a sigh of vast
+content, against his wife's knees.
+
+"Beautiful!" she said. "Beautiful! Garthie--perhaps it is because YOU
+sang it; and to-night;--but it seems to me the most beautiful thing I
+ever heard. Ah, and how appropriate for us; on this day, of all days."
+
+"Oh, I don't know," said Garth, stretching his legs in front of him,
+and crossing his feet the one over the other. "I certainly feel 'Safe
+home at last'--not because 'all is gone'; but because I HAVE all, in
+having you, Jane."
+
+Jane bent, and laid her cheek upon his head. "My own boy," she said,
+"you have all I have to give--all, ALL. But, darling, in those dark
+days which are past, all seemed gone, for us both. 'Lead us, O
+Christ'--It was He who led us safely through the darkness, and has
+brought us to this. And Garth, I love to know that He is Lord of
+All--Lord of our joy; Lord of our love; Lord of our lives--our wedded
+lives, my husband. We could not be so safely, so blissfully, each
+other's, were we not ONE, IN HIM. Is this true for you also, Garth?"
+
+Garth felt for her left hand, drew it down, and laid his cheek against
+it; then gently twisted the wedding ring that he might kiss it all
+round.
+
+"Yes, my wife," he said. "I thank God, that I can say in all things:
+'Thou, Eternal Light of Light, art Lord of All.'"
+
+A long sweet silence. Then Jane said, suddenly: "Oh, but the music,
+Garthie! That exquisite setting. Whose is it? And where did you hear
+it?"
+
+Garth laughed again; a laugh of half-shy pleasure.
+
+"I am glad you like it, Jane," he said, "because I must plead guilty to
+the fact that it is my own. You see, I knew no music for it; the
+Anthem-book gave the words only. And on that awful night, when little
+Rosemary had mercilessly rubbed it in, about 'the lady portrayed'; and
+what her love MUST have been, and WOULD have been, and COULD have been;
+and had made me SEE 'The Wife' again, and 'The--' the other picture; I
+felt so bruised, and sore, and lonely. And then those words came to my
+mind: 'Lead us, O Christ, when all is gone, safe home at last.' All
+seemed gone indeed; and there seemed no home to hope for, in this
+world." He raised himself a little, and then leaned back again; so that
+his head rested against her bosom. "Safe home at last," he said, and
+stayed quite still for a moment, in utter content. Then remembered what
+he was telling her, and went on eagerly.
+
+"So those words came back to me; and to get away from despairing
+thoughts, I began reciting them, to an accompaniment of chords."
+
+   "'The radiant morn hath passed away,
+     And spent too soon her golden store;
+     The shadows of departing day--'"
+
+"And then--suddenly, Jane--I SAW it, pictured in sound! Just as I used
+to SEE a sunset, in light and shadow, and then transfer it to my canvas
+in shade and colour,-so I heard a SUNSET in harmony, and I felt the
+same kind of tingle in my fingers as I used to feel when inspiration
+came, and I could catch up my brushes and palette. So I played the
+sunset. And then I got the theme for life fading, and what one feels
+when the glorious noon is suddenly plunged into darkness; and then the
+prayer. And then, I HEARD a vision of heaven, where evening shadows
+never fall: And after that came the end; just certainty, and worship,
+and peace. You see the eventual theme, worked out of all this. It was
+like making studies for a picture. That was why you heard it over and
+over. I wasn't trying to remember. I was gathering it into final form.
+I am awfully glad you like it, Jane; because if I show you how the
+harmonies go, perhaps you could write it down. And it would mean such a
+lot to me, if you thought it worth singing. I could play the
+accompaniment--Hullo! Is it beginning to rain? I felt a drop on my
+cheek, and another on my hand."
+
+No answer. Then he felt the heave, with which Jane caught her breath;
+and realised that she was weeping.
+
+In a moment he was on his knees in front of her. "Jane! Why, what is
+the matter; Sweet? What on earth--? Have I said anything to trouble
+you? Jane, what is it? O God, why can't I see her!"
+
+Jane mastered her emotion; controlling her voice, with an immense
+effort. Then drew him down beside her.
+
+"Hush, darling, hush! It is only a great joy--a wonderful surprise.
+Lean against me again, and I will try to tell you. Do you know that you
+have composed some of the most beautiful music in the world? Do you
+know, my own boy, that not only your proud and happy wife, but ALL
+women who can sing, will want to sing your music? Garthie, do you
+realise what it means? The creative faculty is so strong in you, that
+when one outlet was denied it, it burst forth through another. When you
+had your sight, you created by the hand and EYE. Now, you will create
+by the hand and EAR. The power is the same. It merely works through
+another channel. But oh, think what it means! Think! The world lies
+before you once more!"
+
+Garth laughed, and put up his hand to the dear face, still wet with
+thankful tears.
+
+"Oh, bother the world!" he said. "I don't want the world. I only want
+my wife."
+
+Jane put her arms around him. Ah, what a boy he was in some ways! How
+full of light-hearted, irrepressible, essential youth. Just then she
+felt so much older than he; but how little that mattered. The better
+could she wrap him round with the greatness of her tenderness; shield
+him from every jar or disillusion; and help him to make the most of his
+great gifts.
+
+"I know, darling," she said. "And you have her. She is just ALL YOURS.
+But think of the wonderful future. Thank God, I know enough of the
+technical part, to write the scores of your compositions. And,
+Garth,--fancy going together to noble cathedrals, and hearing your
+anthems sung; and to concerts where the most perfect voices in the
+world will be doing their utmost adequately to render your songs. Fancy
+thrilling hearts with pure harmony, stirring souls with tone-pictures;
+just as before you used to awaken in us all, by your wonderful
+paintings, an appreciation and comprehension of beauty."
+
+Garth raised his head. "Is it really as good as that, Jane?" he said.
+
+"Dear," answered Jane, earnestly, "I can only tell you, that when you
+sang it first, and I had not the faintest idea it was yours, I said to
+myself: 'It is the most beautiful thing I ever heard.'"
+
+"I am glad," said Garth, simply. "And now, let's talk of something
+else. Oh, I say, Jane! The present is too wonderful, to leave any
+possible room for thoughts about the future. Do talk about the present."
+
+Jane smiled; and it was the smile of "The Wife"--mysterious;
+compassionate; tender; self-surrendering. She leaned over him, and
+rested her cheek upon his head.
+
+"Yes, darling. We will talk of this very moment, if you wish. You
+begin."
+
+"Look at the house, and describe it to me, as you see it in the
+moonlight."
+
+"Very grey, and calm, and restful-looking. And so home-like, Garthie."
+
+"Are there lights in the windows?"
+
+"Yes. The library lights are just as we left them. The French window is
+standing wide open. The pedestal lamp, under a crimson silk shade,
+looks very pretty from here, shedding a warm glow over the interior.
+Then, I can see one candle in the dining-room. I think Simpson is
+putting away silver."
+
+"Any others, Jane?"
+
+"Yes, darling. There is a light in the Oriel chamber. I can see Margery
+moving to and fro. She seems to be arranging my things, and giving
+final touches. There is also a light in your room, next door. Ah, now
+she has gone through. I see her standing and looking round to make sure
+all is right. Dear faithful old heart! Garth, how sweet it is to be at
+home to-day; served and tended by those who really love us."
+
+"I am so glad you feel that," said Garth. "I half feared you might
+regret not having an ordinary honeymoon--And yet, no! I wasn't really
+afraid of that, or of anything. Just, together at last, was all we
+wanted. Wasn't it, my wife?"
+
+"All."
+
+A clock in the house struck nine.
+
+"Dear old clock," said Garth, softly. "I used to hear it strike nine,
+when I was a little chap in my crib, trying to keep awake until my
+mother rustled past; and went into her room. The door between her room
+and mine used to stand ajar, and I could see her candle appear in a
+long streak upon my ceiling. When I saw that streak, I fell asleep
+immediately. It was such a comfort to know she was there; and would not
+go down again. Jane, do you like the Oriel chamber?"
+
+"Yes, dear. It is a lovely room; and very sacred because it was hers.
+Do you know, Aunt Georgina insisted upon seeing it, Garth; and said it
+ought to be whitened and papered. But I would not hear of that; because
+the beautiful old ceiling is hand-painted, and so are the walls; and I
+was certain you had loved those paintings, as a little boy; and would
+remember them now."
+
+"Ah, yes," said Garth, eagerly. "A French artist stayed here, and did
+them. Water and rushes, and the most lovely flamingoes; those on the
+walls standing with their feet in the water; and those on the ceiling,
+flying with wings outspread, into a pale green sky, all over white
+billowy clouds. Jane, I believe I could walk round that room,
+blindfold--no! I mean, as I am now; and point out the exact spot where
+each flamingo stands."
+
+"You shall," said Jane, tenderly. These slips when he talked,
+momentarily forgetting his blindness, always wrung her heart. "By
+degrees you must tell me all the things you specially did and loved, as
+a little boy. I like to know them. Had you always that room, next door
+to your mother's?"
+
+"Ever since I can remember," said Garth. "And the door between was
+always open. After my mother's death, I kept it locked. But the night
+before my birthday, I used to open it; and when I woke early and saw it
+ajar, I would spring up, and go quickly in; and it seemed as if her
+dear presence was there to greet me, just on that one morning. But I
+had to go quickly, and immediately I wakened; just as you must go out
+early to catch the rosy glow of sunrise on the fleeting clouds; or to
+see the gossamer webs on the gorse, outlined in diamonds, by the
+sparkling summer dew. But, somehow, Margery found out about it; and the
+third year there was a sheet of writing-paper firmly stuck to the
+pincushion by a large black-headed pin, saying, in Margery's careful
+caligraphy: 'Many happy returns of the day, Master Garthie.' It was
+very touching, because it was meant to be so comforting and tactful.
+But it destroyed the illusion! Since then the door has been kept
+closed."
+
+Another long sweet silence. Two nightingales, in distant trees, sang
+alternately; answering one another in liquid streams of melody.
+
+Again Garth turned the wedding ring; then spoke, with his lips against
+it.
+
+"You said Margery had 'gone through.' Is it open to-night?" he asked.
+
+Jane clasped both hands behind his head--strong, capable hands, though
+now they trembled a little--and pressed his face against her, as she
+had done on the terrace at Shenstone, three years before.
+
+"Yes, my own boy," she said; "it is."
+
+"Jane! Oh, Jane--" He released himself from the pressure of those
+restraining hands, and lifted his adoring face to hers.
+
+Then, suddenly, Jane broke down. "Ah, darling," she said, "take me away
+from this horrible white moonlight! I cannot bear it. It reminds me of
+Shenstone. It reminds me of the wrong I did you. It seems a separating
+thing between you and me--this cruel brightness which you cannot share."
+
+Her tears fell on his upturned fate.
+
+Then Garth sprang to his feet. The sense of manhood and mastery; the
+right of control, the joy of possession, arose within him. Even in his
+blindness, he was the stronger. Even in his helplessness, for the great
+essentials, Jane must lean on him. He raised her gently, put his arms
+about her, and stood there, glorified by his great love.
+
+"Hush, sweetest wife," he said. "Neither light nor darkness can
+separate between you and me: This quiet moonlight cannot take you from
+me; but in the still, sweet darkness you will feel more completely my
+own, because it will hold nothing we cannot share. Come with me to the
+library, and we will send away the lamps, and close the curtains; and
+you shall sit on the couch near the piano, where you sat, on that
+wonderful evening when I found you, and when I almost frightened my
+brave Jane. But she will not be frightened now, because she is so my
+own; and I may say what I like; and do what I will; and she must not
+threaten me with Nurse Rosemary; because it is Jane I want--Jane, Jane;
+just ONLY Jane! Come in, beloved; and I, who see as clearly in the dark
+as in the light, will sit and play THE ROSARY for you; and then Veni,
+Creator Spiritus; and I will sing you the verse which has been the
+secret source of peace, and the sustaining power of my whole inner
+life, through the long, hard years, apart."
+
+"Now," whispered Jane. "Now, as we go."
+
+So Garth drew her hand through his arm; and, as they walked, sang
+softly:
+
+    "Enable with perpetual light,
+     The dulness of our blinded sight;
+     Anoint and cheer our soiled face
+     With the abundance of Thy grace.
+     Keep far our foes; give peace at home;
+     Where Thou art Guide, no ill can come."
+
+Thus, leaning on her husband; yet guiding him as she leaned; Jane
+passed to the perfect happiness of her wedded home.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Rosary, by Florence L. Barclay
+
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