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+Project Gutenberg's Letters to His Son, 1751, by The Earl of Chesterfield
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Letters to His Son, 1751
+
+Author: The Earl of Chesterfield
+
+Release Date: December 1, 2004 [EBook #3355]
+[Last updated on February 14, 2007]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LETTERS TO HIS SON, 1751 ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+              LETTERS TO HIS SON
+                     1751
+
+           By the EARL OF CHESTERFIELD
+
+          on the Fine Art of becoming a
+
+               MAN OF THE WORLD
+
+                   and a
+
+                 GENTLEMAN
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXVI
+
+LONDON, January 8, O.S. 1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: By your letter of the 5th, N. S., I find that your
+'debut' at Paris has been a good one; you are entered into good company,
+and I dare say you will, not sink into bad. Frequent the houses where you
+have been once invited, and have none of that shyness which makes most of
+your countrymen strangers, where they might be intimate and domestic if
+they pleased. Wherever you have a general invitation to sup when you
+please, profit of it, with decency, and go every now and then. Lord
+Albemarle will, I am sure, be extremely kind to you, but his house is
+only a dinner house; and, as I am informed, frequented by no French
+people. Should he happen to employ you in his bureau, which I much doubt,
+you must write a better hand than your common one, or you will get no
+credit by your manuscripts; for your hand is at present an illiberal one;
+it is neither a hand of business nor of a gentleman, but the hand of a
+school-boy writing his exercise, which he hopes will never be read.
+
+Madame de Monconseil gives me a favorable account of you; and so do
+Marquis de Matignon and Madame du Boccage; they all say that you desire
+to please, and consequently promise me that you will; and they judge
+right; for whoever really desires to please, and has (as you now have)
+the means of learning how, certainly will please and that is the great
+point of life; it makes all other things easy. Whenever you are with
+Madame de Monconseil, Madame du Boccage, or other women of fashion, with
+whom you are tolerably free, say frankly and naturally: "I know little of
+the world; I am quite a novice in it; and although very desirous of
+pleasing, I am at a loss for the means. Be so good, Madame, as to let me
+into your secret of pleasing everybody. I shall owe my success to it, and
+you will always have more than falls to your share." When, in consequence
+of this request, they shall tell you of any little error, awkwardness, or
+impropriety, you should not only feel, but express the warmest
+acknowledgment. Though nature should suffer, and she will at first
+hearing them, tell them, that you will look upon the most severe
+criticisms as the greatest proof of their friendship. Madame du Boccage
+tells me, particularly, to inform you: "I shall always, receive the honor
+of his visits with pleasure; it is true, that at his age the pleasures of
+conversation are cold; but I will endeavor to make him acquainted with
+young people," etc.
+
+Make use of this invitation, and as you live, in a manner, next door to
+her, step in and out there frequently. Monsieur du Boccage will go with
+you, he tells me, with great pleasure, to the plays, and point out to you
+whatever deserves your knowing there. This is worth your acceptance too;
+he has a very good taste. I have not yet heard from Lady Hervey upon your
+subject; but as you inform me that you have already supped with her once,
+I look upon you as adopted by her; consult her in all your little
+matters; tell her any difficulties that may occur to you; ask her what
+you should do or say in such or such cases; she has 'l'usage du monde en
+perfection', and will help you to acquire it. Madame de Berkenrode 'est
+paitrie de graces', and your quotation is very applicable to her. You may
+be there, I dare say, as often as you please, and I would advise you to
+sup there once a week.
+
+You say, very justly, that as Mr. Harte is leaving you, you shall want
+advice more than ever; you shall never want mine; and as you have already
+had so much of it, I must rather repeat than add to what I have already
+given you; but that I will do, and add to it occasionally, as
+circumstances may require. At present I shall only remind you of your two
+great objects, which you should always attend to; they are parliament and
+foreign affairs. With regard to the former, you can do nothing while
+abroad but attend carefully to the purity, correctness, and elegance of
+your diction; the clearness and gracefulness of your utterance, in
+whatever language you speak. As for the parliamentary knowledge, I will
+take care of that when you come home. With regard to foreign affairs,
+everything you do abroad may and ought to tend that way. Your reading
+should be chiefly historical; I do not mean of remote, dark, and fabulous
+history, still less of jimcrack natural history of fossils, minerals,
+plants, etc., but I mean the useful, political, and constitutional
+history of Europe, for these last three centuries and a half. The other
+thing necessary for your foreign object, and not less necessary than
+either ancient or modern knowledge, is a great knowledge of the world,
+manners, politeness, address, and 'le ton de la bonne compagnie'. In that
+view, keeping a great deal of good company, is the principal point to
+which you are now to attend. It seems ridiculous to tell you, but it is
+most certainly true, that your dancing-master is at this time the man in
+all Europe of the greatest importance to you. You must dance well, in
+order to sit, stand, and walk well; and you must do all these well in
+order to please. What with your exercises, some reading, and a great deal
+of company, your day is, I confess, extremely taken up; but the day, if
+well employed, is long enough for everything; and I am sure you will not
+slattern away one moment of it in inaction. At your age, people have
+strong and active spirits, alacrity and vivacity in all they do; are
+'impigri', indefatigable, and quick. The difference is, that a young
+fellow of parts exerts all those happy dispositions in the pursuit of
+proper objects; endeavors to excel in the solid, and in the showish parts
+of life; whereas a silly puppy, or a dull rogue, throws away all his
+youth and spirit upon trifles, where he is serious or upon disgraceful
+vices, while he aims at pleasures. This I am sure will not be your case;
+your good sense and your good conduct hitherto are your guarantees with
+me for the future. Continue only at Paris as you have begun, and your
+stay there will make you, what I have always wished you to be, as near
+perfection as our nature permits.
+
+Adieu, my dear; remember to write to me once a-week, not as to a father,
+but, without reserve, as to a friend.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXVII
+
+LONDON, January 14, O. S. 1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: Among the many good things Mr. Harte has told me of you,
+two in particular gave me great pleasure. The first, that you are
+exceedingly careful and jealous of the dignity of your character; that is
+the sure and solid foundation upon which you must both stand and rise. A
+man's moral character is a more delicate thing than a woman's reputation
+of chastity. A slip or two may possibly be forgiven her, and her
+character may be clarified by subsequent and continued good conduct: but
+a man's moral character once tainted is irreparably destroyed. The second
+was, that you had acquired a most correct and extensive knowledge of
+foreign affairs, such as the history, the treaties, and the forms of
+government of the several countries of Europe. This sort of knowledge,
+little attended to here, will make you not only useful, but necessary, in
+your future destination, and carry you very far. He added that you wanted
+from hence some books relative to our laws and constitution, our
+colonies, and our commerce; of which you know less than of those of any
+other part of Europe. I will send you what short books I can find of that
+sort, to give you a general notion of those things: but you cannot have
+time to go into their depths at present--you cannot now engage with new
+folios; you and I will refer the constitutional part of this country to
+our meeting here, when we will enter seriously into it, and read the
+necessary books together. In the meantime, go on in the course you are
+in, of foreign matters; converse with ministers and others of every
+country, watch the transactions of every court, and endeavor to trace
+them up to their source. This, with your physics, your geometry, and your
+exercises, will be all that you can possibly have time for at Paris; for
+you must allow a great deal for company and pleasures: it is they that
+must give you those manners, that address, that 'tournure' of the 'beau
+monde', which will qualify you for your future destination. You must
+first please, in order to get the confidence, and consequently the
+secrets, of the courts and ministers for whom and with whom you
+negotiate.
+
+I will send you by the first opportunity a short book written by Lord
+Bolingbroke, under the name of Sir John Oldcastle, containing remarks
+upon the history of England; which will give you a clear general notion
+of our constitution, and which will serve you, at the same time, like all
+Lord Bolingbroke's works, for a model of eloquence and style. I will also
+send you Sir Josiah Childe's little book upon trade, which may properly
+be called the "Commercial Grammar." He lays down the true principles of
+commerce, and his conclusions from them are generally very just.
+
+Since you turn your thoughts a little toward trade and commerce, which I
+am very glad you do, I will recommend a French book to you, which you
+will easily get at Paris, and which I take to be the best book in the
+world of that kind: I mean the 'Dictionnaire de Commerce de Savory', in
+three volumes in folio; where you will find every one thing that relates
+to trade, commerce, specie, exchange, etc., most clearly stated; and not
+only relative to France, but to the whole world. You will easily suppose,
+that I do not advise you to read such a book 'tout de suite'; but I only
+mean that you should have it at hand, to have recourse to occasionally.
+
+With this great stock of both useful and ornamental knowledge, which you
+have already acquired, and which, by your application and industry, you
+are daily increasing, you will lay such a solid foundation of future
+figure and fortune, that if you complete it by all the accomplishments of
+manners, graces, etc., I know nothing which you may not aim at, and in
+time hope for. Your great point at present at Paris, to which all other
+considerations must give way, is to become entirely a man of fashion: to
+be well-bred without ceremony, easy without negligence, steady and
+intrepid with modesty, genteel without affectation, insinuating without
+meanness, cheerful without being noisy, frank without indiscretion, and
+secret without mysteriousness; to know the proper time and place for
+whatever you say or do, and to do it with an air of condition all this is
+not so soon nor so easily learned as people imagine, but requires
+observation and time. The world is an immense folio, which demands a
+great deal of time and attention to be read and understood as it ought to
+be; you have not yet read above four or five pages of it; and you will
+have but barely time to dip now and then in other less important books.
+
+Lord Albemarle has, I know, wrote {It is a pleasure for an ordinary
+mortal to find Lord Chesterfield in gramatical error--and he did it again
+in the last sentence of this paragraph--but this was 1751? D.W.} to a
+friend of his here, that you do not frequent him so much as he expected
+and desired; that he fears somebody or other has given you wrong
+impressions of him; and that I may possibly think, from your being seldom
+at his house, that he has been wanting in his attentions to you. I told
+the person who told me this, that, on the contrary, you seemed, by your
+letters to me, to be extremely pleased with Lord Albemarle's behavior to
+you: but that you were obliged to give up dining abroad during your
+course of experimental philosophy. I guessed the true reason, which I
+believe was, that, as no French people frequent his house, you rather
+chose to dine at other places, where you were likely to meet with better
+company than your countrymen and you were in the right of it. However, I
+would have you show no shyness to Lord Albemarle, but go to him, and dine
+with him oftener than it may be you would wish, for the sake of having
+him speak well of you here when he returns. He is a good deal in fashion
+here, and his PUFFING you (to use an awkward expression) before you
+return here, will be of great use to you afterward. People in general
+take characters, as they do most things, upon trust, rather than be at
+the trouble of examining them themselves; and the decisions of four or
+five fashionable people, in every place, are final, more particularly
+with regard to characters, which all can hear, and but few judge of. Do
+not mention the least of this to any mortal; and take care that Lord
+Albemarle do not suspect that you know anything of the matter.
+
+Lord Huntingdon and Lord Stormount are, I hear, arrived at Paris; you
+have, doubtless, seen them. Lord Stormount is well spoken of here;
+however, in your connections, if you form any with them, show rather a
+preference to Lord Huntingdon, for reasons which you will easily guess.
+
+Mr. Harte goes this week to Cornwall, to take possession of his living;
+he has been installed at Windsor; he will return here in about a month,
+when your literary correspondence with him will be regularly carried on.
+Your mutual concern at parting was a good sign for both.
+
+I have this moment received good accounts of you from Paris. Go on 'vous
+etes en bon train'. Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXVIII
+
+LONDON, January 21, O. S.. 1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: In all my letters from Paris, I have the pleasure of
+finding, among many other good things, your docility mentioned with
+emphasis; this is the sure way of improving in those things, which you
+only want. It is true they are little, but it is as true too that they
+are necessary things. As they are mere matters of usage and mode, it is
+no disgrace for anybody of your age to be ignorant of them; and the most
+compendious way of learning them is, fairly to avow your ignorance, and
+to consult those who, from long usage and experience, know them best.
+Good sense and good-nature suggest civility in general; but, in
+good-breeding there are a thousand little delicacies, which are
+established only by custom; and it is these little elegances of manners
+which distinguish a courtier and a man of fashion from the vulgar. I am
+assured by different people, that your air is already much improved; and
+one of my correspondents makes you the true French compliment of saying,
+'F'ose vous promettre qu'il sera bientot comme un de nos autres'. However
+unbecoming this speech may be in the mouth of a Frenchman, I am very glad
+that they think it applicable to you; for I would have you not only
+adopt, but rival, the best manners and usages of the place you are at, be
+they what they will; that is the versatility of manners which is so
+useful in the course of the world. Choose your models well at Paris, and
+then rival them in their own way. There are fashionable words, phrases,
+and even gestures, at Paris, which are called 'du bon ton'; not to
+mention 'certaines Petites politesses et attentions, qui ne sont rien en
+elle-memes', which fashion has rendered necessary. Make yourself master
+of all these things; and to such a degree, as to make the French say,
+'qu'on diroit que c'est un Francois'; and when hereafter you shall be at
+other courts, do the same thing there; and conform to the fashionable
+manners and usage of the place; that is what the French themselves are
+not apt to do; wherever they go, they retain their own manners, as
+thinking them the best; but, granting them to be so, they are still in
+the wrong not to conform to those of the place. One would desire to
+please, wherever one is; and nothing is more innocently flattering than
+an approbation, and an imitation of the people one converses with.
+
+I hope your colleges with Marcel go on prosperously. In these ridiculous,
+though, at the same time, really important lectures, pray attend, and
+desire your professor also to attend, more particularly to the chapter of
+the arms. It is they that decide of a man's being genteel or otherwise,
+more than any other part of the body. A twist or stiffness in the wrist,
+will make any man in Europe look awkward. The next thing to be attended
+to is, your coming into a room, and presenting yourself to a company.
+This gives the first impression; and the first impression is often a
+lasting one. Therefore, pray desire Professor Marcel to make you come in
+and go out of his room frequently, and in the supposition of different
+companies being there; such as ministers, women, mixed companies, etc.
+Those who present themselves well, have a certain dignity in their air,
+which, without the least seeming mixture of pride, at once engages, and
+is respected.
+
+I should not so often repeat, nor so long dwell upon such trifles, with
+anybody that had less solid and valuable knowledge than you have.
+Frivolous people attend to those things, 'par preference'; they know
+nothing else; my fear with you is, that, from knowing better things, you
+should despise these too much, and think them of much less consequence
+than they really are; for they are of a great deal, and more especially
+to you.
+
+Pleasing and governing women may, in time, be of great service to you.
+They often please and govern others. 'A propos', are you in love with
+Madame de Berkenrode still, or has some other taken her place in your
+affections? I take it for granted, that 'qua to cumque domat Venus, non
+erubescendis adurit ignibus. Un arrangement honnete sied bien a un galant
+homme'. In that case I recommend to you the utmost discretion, and the
+profoundest silence. Bragging of, hinting at, intimating, or even
+affectedly disclaiming and denying such an arrangement will equally
+discredit you among men and women. An unaffected silence upon that
+subject is the only true medium.
+
+In your commerce with women, and indeed with men too, 'une certaine
+douceur' is particularly engaging; it is that which constitutes that
+character which the French talk of so much, and so justly value, I mean
+'l'aimable'. This 'douceur' is not so easily described as felt. It is the
+compound result of different things; a complaisance, a flexibility, but
+not a servility of manners; an air of softness in the countenance,
+gesture, and expression, equally whether you concur or differ with the
+person you converse with. Observe those carefully who have that 'douceur'
+that charms you and others; and your own good sense will soon enable you
+to discover the different ingredients of which it is composed. You must
+be more particularly attentive to this 'douceur', whenever you are
+obliged to refuse what is asked of you, or to say what in itself cannot
+be very agreeable to those to whom you say it. It is then the necessary
+gilding of a disagreeable pill. 'L'aimable' consists in a thousand of
+these little things aggregately. It is the 'suaviter in modo', which I
+have so often recommended to you. The respectable, Mr. Harte assures me,
+you do not want, and I believe him. Study, then, carefully; and acquire
+perfectly, the 'Aimable', and you will have everything.
+
+Abbe Guasco, who is another of your panegyrists, writes me word that he
+has taken you to dinner at Marquis de St. Germain's; where you will be
+welcome as often as you please, and the oftener the better. Profit of
+that, upon the principle of traveling in different countries, without
+changing places. He says, too, that he will take you to the parliament,
+when any remarkable cause is to be tried. That is very well; go through
+the several chambers of the parliament, and see and hear what they are
+doing; join practice and observation to your theoretical knowledge of
+their rights and privileges. No Englishman has the least notion of them.
+
+I need not recommend you to go to the bottom of the constitutional and
+political knowledge of countries; for Mr. Harte tells me that you have a
+peculiar turn that way, and have informed yourself most correctly of
+them.
+
+I must now put some queries to you, as to a 'juris publici peritus',
+which I am sure you can answer me, and which I own I cannot answer
+myself; they are upon a subject now much talked of.
+
+1st. Are there any particular forms requisite for the election of a King
+of the Romans, different from those which are necessary for the election
+of an Emperor?
+
+2d. Is not a King of the Romans as legally elected by the votes of a
+majority of the electors, as by two-thirds, or by the unanimity of the
+electors?
+
+3d. Is there any particular law or constitution of the empire, that
+distinguishes, either in matter or in, form, the election of a King of
+the Romans from that of an Emperor? And is not the golden bull of Charles
+the Fourth equally the rule for both?
+
+4th. Were there not, at a meeting of a certain number of the electors (I
+have forgotten when), some rules and limitations agreed upon concerning
+the election of a King of the Romans? And were those restrictions legal,
+and did they obtain the force of law?
+
+How happy am I, my dear child, that I can apply to you for knowledge, and
+with a certainty of being rightly informed! It is knowledge, more than
+quick, flashy parts, that makes a man of business. A man who is master of
+his matter, twill, with inferior parts, be too hard in parliament, and
+indeed anywhere else, for a man of-better parts, who knows his subject
+but superficially: and if to his knowledge he joins eloquence and
+elocution, he must necessarily soon be at the head of that assembly; but
+without those two, no knowledge is sufficient.
+
+Lord Huntingdon writes me word that he has seen you, and that you have
+renewed your old school-acquaintance.
+
+Tell me fairly your opinion of him, and of his friend Lord Stormount: and
+also of the other English people of fashion you meet with. I promise you
+inviolable secrecy on my part. You and I must now write to each other
+--as friends, and without the least reserve; there will for the future be
+a thousand-things in my letters, which I would not have any mortal living
+but yourself see or know. Those you will easily distinguish, and neither
+show nor repeat; and I will do the same by you.
+
+To come to another subject (for I have a pleasure in talking over every
+subject with you): How deep are you in Italian? Do you understand
+Ariosto, Tasso, Boccaccio and Machiavelli? If you do, you know enough of
+it and may know all the rest, by reading, when you have time. Little or
+no business is written in Italian, except in Italy; and if you know
+enough of it to understand the few Italian letters that may in time come
+in your way, and to speak Italian tolerably to those very few Italians
+who speak no French, give yourself no further trouble about that language
+till you happen to have full leisure to perfect yourself in it. It is not
+the same with regard to German; your speaking and writing it well, will
+particularly distinguish you from every other man in England; and is,
+moreover, of great use to anyone who is, as probably you will be,
+employed in the Empire. Therefore, pray cultivate them sedulously, by
+writing four or five lines of German every day, and by speaking it to
+every German you meet with.
+
+You have now got a footing in a great many good houses at Paris, in which
+I advise you to make yourself domestic. This is to be done by a certain
+easiness of carriage, and a decent familiarity. Not by way of putting
+yourself upon the frivolous footing of being 'sans consequence', but by
+doing in some degree, the honors of the house and table, calling yourself
+'en badinant le galopin d'ici', saying to the masters or mistress, 'ceci
+est de mon departement; je m'en charge; avouez, que je m'en acquitte a
+merveille.' This sort of 'badinage' has something engaging and 'liant' in
+it, and begets that decent familiarity, which it is both agreeable and
+useful to establish in good houses and with people of fashion. Mere
+formal visits, dinners, and suppers, upon formal invitations, are not the
+thing; they add to no connection nor information; but it is the easy,
+careless ingress and egress at all hours, that forms the pleasing and
+profitable commerce of life.
+
+The post is so negligent, that I lose some letters from Paris entirely,
+and receive others much later than I should. To this I ascribe my having
+received no letter from you for above a fortnight, which to my impatience
+seems a long time. I expect to hear from you once a-week. Mr. Harte is
+gone to Cornwall, and will be back in about three weeks. I have a packet
+of books to send you by the first opportunity, which I believe will be
+Mr. Yorke's return to Paris. The Greek books come from Mr. Harte, and
+the English ones from your humble servant. Read Lord Bolingbroke's with
+great attention, as well to the style as to the matter. I wish you could
+form yourself such a style in every language. Style is the dress of
+thoughts; and a well-dressed thought, like a well-dressed man, appears to
+great advantage. Yours. Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXIX
+
+LONDON, August 28, O. S. 1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: A bill for ninety pounds sterling was brought me the
+other day, said to be drawn upon me by you: I scrupled paying it at
+first, not upon account of the sum, but because you had sent me no letter
+of advice, which is always done in those transactions; and still more,
+because I did not perceive that you had signed it. The person who
+presented it, desired me to look again, and that I should discover your
+name at the bottom: accordingly I looked again, and, with the help of my
+magnifying glass, did perceive that what I had first taken only for
+somebody's mark, was, in truth, your name, written in the worst and
+smallest hand I ever saw in my life.
+
+However, I paid it at a venture; though I would almost rather lose the
+money, than that such a signature should be yours. All gentlemen, and all
+men of business, write their names always in the same way, that their
+signature may be so well known as not to be easily counterfeited; and
+they generally sign in rather larger character than their common hand;
+whereas your name was in a less, and a worse, than your common writing.
+This suggested to me the various accidents which may very probably happen
+to you, while you write so ill. For instance, if you were to write in
+such a character to the Secretary's office, your letter would immediately
+be sent to the decipherer, as containing matters of the utmost secrecy,
+not fit to be trusted to the common character. If you were to write so to
+an antiquarian, he (knowing you to be a man of learning) would certainly
+try it by the Runic, Celtic, or Sclavonian alphabet, never suspecting it
+to be a modern character. And, if you were to send a 'poulet' to a fine
+woman, in such a hand, she would think that it really came from the
+'poulailler'; which, by the bye, is the etymology of the word 'poulet';
+for Henry the Fourth of France used to send billets-doux to his
+mistresses by his 'poulailler', under pretense of sending them chickens;
+which gave the name of poulets to those short, but expressive
+manuscripts. I have often told you that every man who has the use of his
+eyes and of his hand, can write whatever hand he pleases; and it is plain
+that you can, since you write both the Greek and German characters, which
+you never learned of a writing-master, extremely well, though your common
+hand, which you learned of a master, is an exceedingly bad and illiberal
+one; equally unfit for business or common use. I do not desire that you
+should write the labored, stiff character of a writing-master: a man of
+business must write quick and well, and that depends simply upon use. I
+would therefore advise you to get some very good writing-master at Paris,
+and apply to it for a month only, which will be sufficient; for, upon my
+word, the writing of a genteel plain hand of business is of much more
+importance than you think. You will say, it may be, that when you write
+so very ill, it is because you are in a hurry, to which I answer, Why are
+you ever in a hurry? A man of sense may be in haste, but can never be in
+a hurry, because he knows that whatever he does in a hurry, he must
+necessarily do very ill. He may be in haste to dispatch an affair, but he
+will care not to let that haste hinder his doing it well. Little minds
+are in a hurry, when the object proves (as it commonly does) too big for
+them; they run, they hare, they puzzle, confound, and perplex themselves:
+they want to do everything at once, and never do it at all. But a man of
+sense takes the time necessary for doing the thing he is about, well; and
+his haste to dispatch a business only appears by the continuity of his
+application to it: he pursues it with a cool steadiness, and finishes it
+before he begins any other. I own your time is much taken up, and you
+have a great many different things to do; but remember that you had much
+better do half of them well and leave the other half undone, than do them
+all indifferently. Moreover, the few seconds that are saved in the course
+of the day, by writing ill instead of well, do not amount to an object of
+time by any means equivalent to the disgrace or ridicule of writing the
+scrawl of a common whore. Consider, that if your very bad writing could
+furnish me with matter of ridicule, what will it not do to others who do
+not view you in that partial light that I do? There was a pope, I think
+it was Cardinal Chigi, who was justly ridiculed for his attention to
+little things, and his inability in great ones: and therefore called
+maximus in minimis, and minimus in maximis. Why? Because he attended to
+little things when he had great ones to do. At this particular period of
+your life, and at the place you are now in, you have only little things
+to do; and you should make it habitual to you to do them well, that they
+may require no attention from you when you have, as I hope you will have,
+greater things to mind. Make a good handwriting familiar to you now, that
+you may hereafter have nothing but your matter to think of, when you have
+occasion to write to kings and ministers. Dance, dress, present yourself,
+habitually well now, that you may have none of those little things to
+think of hereafter, and which will be all necessary to be done well
+occasionally, when you will have greater things to do.
+
+As I am eternally thinking of everything that can be relative to you, one
+thing has occurred to me, which I think necessary to mention to you, in
+order to prevent the difficulties which it might otherwise lay you under;
+it is this as you get more acquaintances at Paris, it will be impossible
+for you to frequent your first acquaintances so much as you did, while
+you had no others. As, for example, at your first 'debut', I suppose you
+were chiefly at Madame Monconseil's, Lady Hervey's, and Madame du
+Boccage's. Now, that you have got so many other houses, you cannot be at
+theirs so often as you used; but pray take care not to give them the
+least reason to think that you neglect, or despise them, for the sake of
+new and more dignified and shining acquaintances; which would be
+ungrateful and imprudent on your part, and never forgiven on theirs. Call
+upon them often, though you do not stay with them so long as formerly;
+tell them that you are sorry you are obliged to go away, but that you
+have such and such engagements, with which good-breeding obliges you to
+comply; and insinuate that you would rather stay with them. In short,
+take care to make as many personal friends, and as few personal enemies,
+as possible. I do not mean, by personal friends, intimate and
+confidential friends, of which no man can hope to have half a dozen in
+the whole course of his life; but I mean friends, in the common
+acceptation of the word; that is, people who speak well of you, and who
+would rather do you good than harm, consistently with their own interest,
+and no further. Upon the whole, I recommend to you, again and again, 'les
+Graces'. Adorned by them, you may, in a manner, do what you please; it
+will be approved of; without them, your best qualities will lose half
+their efficacy. Endeavor to be fashionable among the French, which will
+soon make you fashionable here. Monsieur de Matignon already calls you
+'le petit Francois'. If you can get that name generally at Paris, it will
+put you 'a la mode'. Adieu, my dear child.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXX
+
+LONDON, February 4, O. S. 1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: The accounts which I receive of you from Paris grow every
+day more and more satisfactory. Lord Albemarle has wrote a sort of
+panegyric of you, which has been seen by many people here, and which will
+be a very useful forerunner for you. Being in fashion is an important
+point for anybody anywhere; but it would be a very great one for you to
+be established in the fashion here before you return. Your business will
+be half done by it, as I am sure you would not give people reason to
+change their favorable presentiments of you. The good that is said of you
+will not, I am convinced, make you a coxcomb; and, on the other hand, the
+being thought still to want some little accomplishments, will, I am
+persuaded, not mortify you, but only animate you to acquire them: I will,
+therefore, give you both fairly, in the following extract of a letter
+which I lately received from an impartial and discerning friend:--
+
+"Permit me to assure you, Sir, that Mr. Stanhope will succeed. He has a
+great fund of knowledge, and an uncommonly good memory, although he does
+not make any parade of either the one or the other. He is desirous of
+pleasing, and he will please. He has an expressive countenance; his
+figure is elegant, although little. He has not the least awkwardness,
+though he has not as yet acquired all-the graces requisite; which Marcel
+and the ladies will soon give him. In short, he wants nothing but those
+things, which, at his age, must unavoidably be wanting; I mean, a certain
+turn and delicacy of manners, which are to be acquired only by time, and
+in good company. Ready as he is, he will soon learn them; particularly as
+he frequents such companies as are the most proper to give them."
+
+By this extract, which I can assure you is a faithful one, you and I have
+both of us the satisfaction of knowing how much you have, and how little
+you want. Let what you have give you (if possible) rather more SEEMING
+modesty, but at the same time more interior firmness and assurance; and
+let what you want, which you see is very attainable, redouble your
+attention and endeavors to acquire it. You have, in truth, but that one
+thing to apply to and a very pleasing application it is, since it is
+through pleasures you must arrive at it. Company, suppers, balls,
+spectacles, which show you the models upon which you should form
+yourself, and all the little usages, customs, and delicacies, which you
+must adopt and make habitual to you, are now your only schools and
+universities; in which young fellows and fine women will give you the
+best lectures.
+
+Monsieur du Boccage is another of your panegyrists; and he tells me that
+Madame Boccage 'a pris avec vous le ton de mie et de bonne'; and that you
+like it very well. You are in the right of it; it is the way of
+improving; endeavor to be upon that footing with every woman you converse
+with; excepting where there may be a tender point of connection; a point
+which I have nothing to do with; but if such a one there is, I hope she
+has not 'de mauvais ni de vilains bras', which I agree with you in
+thinking a very disagreeable thing.
+
+I have sent you, by the opportunity of Pollok the courier, who was once
+my servant, two little parcels of Greek and English books; and shall send
+you two more by Mr. Yorke: but I accompany them with this caution, that
+as you have not much time to read, you should employ it in reading what
+is the most necessary, and that is, indisputably modern historical,
+geographical, chronological, and political knowledge; the present
+constitution, maxims, force, riches, trade, commerce, characters,
+parties, and cabals of the several courts of Europe. Many who are
+reckoned good scholars, though they know pretty accurately the
+governments of Athens and Rome, are totally ignorant of the constitution
+of any one country now in Europe, even of their own. Read just Latin and
+Greek enough to keep up your classical learning, which will be an
+ornament to you while young, and a comfort to you when old. But the true
+useful knowledge, and especially for you, is the modern knowledge above
+mentioned. It is that must qualify you both for domestic and foreign
+business, and it is to that, therefore, that you should principally
+direct your attention; and I know, with great pleasure, that you do so. I
+would not thus commend you to yourself, if I thought commendations would
+have upon you those ill effects, which they frequently have upon weak
+minds. I think you are much above being a vain coxcomb, overrating your
+own merit, and insulting others with the superabundance of it. On the
+contrary, I am convinced that the consciousness of merit makes a man of
+sense more modest, though more firm. A man who displays his own merit is
+a coxcomb, and a man who does not know it is a fool. A man of sense knows
+it, exerts it, avails himself of it, but never boasts of it; and always
+SEEMS rather to under than over value it, though in truth, he sets the
+right value upon it. It is a very true maxim of La Bruyere's (an author
+well worth your studying), 'qu'on ne vaut dans ce monde, que ce que l'on
+veut valoir'. A man who is really diffident, timid, and bashful, be his
+merit what it will, never can push himself in the world; his despondency
+throws him into inaction; and the forward, the bustling, and the
+petulant, will always get the better of him. The manner makes the whole
+difference. What would be impudence in one manner, is only a proper and
+decent assurance in another. A man of sense, and of knowledge in the
+world, will assert his own rights, and pursue his own objects, as
+steadily and intrepidly as the most impudent man living, and commonly
+more so; but then he has art enough to give an outward air of modesty to
+all he does. This engages and prevails, while the very same things shock
+and fail, from the overbearing or impudent manner only of doing them. I
+repeat my maxim, 'Suaviter in modo, sed fortiter in re'. Would you know
+the characters, modes and manners of the latter end of the last age,
+which are very like those of the present, read La Bruyere. But would you
+know man, independently of modes, read La Rochefoucault, who, I am
+afraid, paints him very exactly.
+
+Give the inclosed to Abbe Guasco, of whom you make good use, to go about
+with you, and see things. Between you and me, he has more knowledge than
+parts. 'Mais un habile homme sait tirer parti de tout', and everybody is
+good for something. President Montesquieu is, in every sense, a most
+useful acquaintance. He has parts, joined to great reading and knowledge
+of the world. 'Puisez dans cette source tant que vous pourrez'.
+
+Adieu. May the Graces attend you! for without them 'ogni fatica e vana'.
+If they do not come to you willingly, ravish them, and force them to
+accompany you in all you think, all you say, and all you do.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXI
+
+LONDON, February 11, O. S. 1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: When you go to the play, which I hope you do often, for
+it is a very instructive amusement, you must certainly have observed the
+very different effects which the several parts have upon you, according
+as they are well or ill acted. The very best tragedy of, Corneille's, if
+well spoken and acted, interests, engages, agitates, and affects your
+passions. Love, terror, and pity alternately possess you. But, if ill
+spoken and acted, it would only excite your indignation or your laughter.
+Why? It is still Corneille's; it is the same sense, the same matter,
+whether well or ill acted. It is, then, merely the manner of speaking and
+acting that makes this great difference in the effects. Apply this to
+yourself, and conclude from it, that if you would either please in a
+private company, or persuade in a public assembly, air, looks, gestures,
+graces, enunciation, proper accents, just emphasis, and tuneful cadences,
+are full as necessary as the matter itself. Let awkward, ungraceful,
+inelegant, and dull fellows say what they will in behalf of their solid
+matter and strong reasonings; and let them despise all those graces and
+ornaments which engage the senses and captivate the heart; they will find
+(though they will possibly wonder why) that their rough, unpolished
+matter, and their unadorned, coarse, but strong arguments, will neither
+please nor persuade; but, on the contrary, will tire out attention, and
+excite disgust. We are so made, we love to be pleased better than to be
+informed; information is, in a certain degree, mortifying, as it implies
+our previous ignorance; it must be sweetened to be palatable.
+
+To bring this directly to you: know that no man can make a figure in this
+country, but by parliament. Your fate depends upon your success there as
+a speaker; and, take my word for it, that success turns much more upon
+manner than matter. Mr. Pitt and Mr. Murray the solicitor-general, uncle
+to Lord Stormount, are, beyond comparison, the best speakers; why? only
+because they are the best orators. They alone can inflame or quiet the
+House; they alone are so attended to, in that numerous and noisy
+assembly, that you might hear a pin fall while either of them is
+speaking. Is it that their matter is better, or their arguments stronger,
+than other people's? Does the House expect extraordinary informations
+from them? Not, in the least: but the House expects pleasure from them,
+and therefore attends; finds it, and therefore approves. Mr. Pitt,
+particularly, has very little parliamentary knowledge; his matter is
+generally flimsy, and his arguments often weak; but his eloquence is
+superior, his action graceful, his enunciation just and harmonious; his
+periods are well turned, and every word he makes use of is the very best,
+and the most expressive, that can be used in that place. This, and not
+his matter, made him Paymaster, in spite of both king and ministers. From
+this draw the obvious conclusion. The same thing holds full as true in
+conversation; where even trifles, elegantly expressed, well looked, and
+accompanied with graceful action, will ever please, beyond all the
+homespun, unadorned sense in the world. Reflect, on one side, how you
+feel within yourself, while you are forced to suffer the tedious, muddy,
+and ill-turned narration of some awkward fellow, even though the fact may
+be interesting; and, on the other hand, with what pleasure you attend to
+the relation of a much less interesting matter, when elegantly expressed,
+genteelly turned, and gracefully delivered. By attending carefully to all
+these agremens in your daily conversation, they will become habitual to
+you, before you come into parliament; and you will have nothing then, to
+do, but to raise them a little when you come there. I would wish you to
+be so attentive to this object, that I, would not have you speak to your
+footman, but in the very best words that the subject admits of, be the
+language what it will. Think of your words, and of their arrangement,
+before you speak; choose the most elegant, and place them in the best
+order. Consult your own ear, to avoid cacophony, and, what is very near
+as bad, monotony. Think also of your gesture and looks, when you are
+speaking even upon the most trifling subjects. The same things,
+differently expressed, looked, and delivered, cease to be the same
+things. The most passionate lover in the world cannot make a stronger
+declaration of love than the 'Bourgeois gentilhomme' does in this happy
+form of words, 'Mourir d'amour me font belle Marquise vos beaux yeux'. I
+defy anybody to say more; and yet I would advise nobody to say that, and
+I would recommend to you rather to smother and conceal your passion
+entirely than to reveal it in these words. Seriously, this holds in
+everything, as well as in that ludicrous instance. The French, to do them
+justice, attend very minutely to the purity, the correctness, and the
+elegance of their style in conversation and in their letters. 'Bien
+narrer' is an object of their study; and though they sometimes carry it
+to affectation, they never sink into inelegance, which is much the worst
+extreme of the two. Observe them, and form your French style upon theirs:
+for elegance in one language will reproduce itself in all. I knew a young
+man, who, being just elected a member of parliament, was laughed at for
+being discovered, through the keyhole of his chamber-door, speaking to
+himself in the glass, and forming his looks and gestures. I could not
+join in that laugh; but, on the contrary, thought him much wiser than
+those who laughed at him; for he knew the importance of those little
+graces in a public assembly, and they did not. Your little person (which
+I am told, by the way, is not ill turned), whether in a laced coat or a
+blanket, is specifically the same; but yet, I believe, you choose to wear
+the former, and you are in the right, for the sake of pleasing more. The
+worst-bred man in Europe, if a lady let fall her fan, would certainly
+take it up and give it her; the best-bred man in Europe could do no more.
+The difference, however, would be considerable; the latter would please
+by doing it gracefully; the former would be laughed at for doing it
+awkwardly. I repeat it, and repeat it again, and shall never cease
+repeating it to you: air, manners, graces, style, elegance, and all those
+ornaments, must now be the only objects of your attention; it is now, or
+never, that you must acquire them. Postpone, therefore, all other
+considerations; make them now your serious study; you have not one moment
+to lose. The solid and the ornamental united, are undoubtedly best; but
+were I reduced to make an option, I should without hesitation choose the
+latter.
+
+I hope you assiduously frequent Marcell--[At that time the most
+celebrated dancing-master at Paris.]--and carry graces from him; nobody
+had more to spare than he had formerly. Have you learned to carve? for it
+is ridiculous not to carve well. A man who tells you gravely that he
+cannot carve, may as well tell you that he cannot blow his nose: it is
+both as necessary, and as easy.
+
+Make my compliments to Lord Huntingdon, whom I love and honor extremely,
+as I dare say you do; I will write to him soon, though I believe he has
+hardly time to read a letter; and my letters to those I love are, as you
+know by experience, not very short ones: this is one proof of it, and
+this would have been longer, if the paper had been so. Good night then,
+my dear child.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXII
+
+LONDON, February 28, O. S. 1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: This epigram in Martial--
+
+       "Non amo te, Sabidi, nec possum dicere quare;
+        Hoc tantum possum dicere, non amo te"--
+
+        [OR: "I do not love thee Dr. Fell
+        The reason why I cannot tell.
+        But this I know and know full well:
+        I do not love thee Dr. Fell."  D.W.]
+
+has puzzled a great many people, who cannot conceive how it is possible
+not to love anybody, and yet not to know the reason why. I think I
+conceive Martial's meaning very clearly, though the nature of epigram,
+which is to be short, would not allow him to explain it more fully; and I
+take it to be this: O Sabidis, you are a very worthy deserving man; you
+have a thousand good qualities, you have a great deal of learning; I
+esteem, I respect, but for the soul of me I cannot love you, though I
+cannot particularly say why. You are not aimable: you have not those
+engaging manners, those pleasing attentions, those graces, and that
+address, which are absolutely necessary to please, though impossible to
+define. I cannot say it is this or that particular thing that hinders me
+from loving you; it is the whole together; and upon the whole you are not
+agreeable.
+
+How often have I, in the course of my life, found myself in this
+situation, with regard to many of my acquaintance, whom I have honored
+and respected, without being able to love. I did not know why, because,
+when one is young, one does not take the trouble, nor allow one's self
+the time, to analyze one's sentiments and to trace them up to their
+source. But subsequent observation and reflection have taught me why.
+There is a man, whose moral character, deep learning, and superior parts,
+I acknowledge, admire, and respect; but whom it is so impossible for me
+to love, that I am almost in a fever whenever I am in his company. His
+figure (without being deformed) seems made to disgrace or ridicule the
+common structure of the human body. His legs and arms are never in the
+position which, according to the situation of his body, they ought to be
+in, but constantly employed in committing acts of hostility upon the
+Graces. He throws anywhere, but down his throat, whatever he means to
+drink, and only mangles what he means to carve. Inattentive to all the
+regards of social life, he mistimes or misplaces everything. He disputes
+with heat, and indiscriminately, mindless of the rank, character, and
+situation of those with whom he disputes; absolutely ignorant of the
+several gradations of familiarity or respect, he is exactly the same to
+his superiors, his equals, and his inferiors; and therefore, by a
+necessary consequence, absurd to two of the three. Is it possible to love
+such a man? No. The utmost I can do for him, is to consider him as a
+respectable Hottentot.--[This 'mot' was aimed at Dr. Johnson in
+retaliation for his famous letter.]
+
+I remember, that when I came from Cambridge, I had acquired, among the
+pedants of that illiberal seminary, a sauciness of literature, a turn to
+satire and contempt, and a strong tendency to argumentation and
+contradiction. But I had been but a very little while in the world,
+before I found that this would by no means do; and I immediately adopted
+the opposite character; I concealed what learning I had; I applauded
+often, without approving; and I yielded commonly without conviction.
+'Suaviter in modo' was my law and my prophets; and if I pleased (between
+you and me) it was much more owing to that, than to any superior
+knowledge or merit of my own. Apropos, the word PLEASING puts one always
+in mind of Lady Hervey; pray tell her, that I declare her responsible to
+me for your pleasing; that I consider her as a pleasing Falstaff, who not
+only pleases, herself, but is the cause of pleasing in others; that I
+know she can make anything of anybody; and that, as your governess, if
+she does not make you please, it must be only because she will not, and
+not because she cannot. I hope you are 'dubois don't on en fait'; and if
+so, she is so good a sculptor, that I am sure she can give you whatever
+form she pleases. A versatility of manners is as necessary in social, as
+a versatility of parts is in political life. One must often yield, in
+order to prevail; one must humble one's self, to be exalted; one must,
+like St. Paul, become all things to all men, to gain some; and, by the
+way, men are taken by the same means, 'mutatis mutandis', that women are
+gained--by gentleness, insinuation, and submission: and these lines of
+Mr. Dryden will hold to a minister as well as to a mistress:
+
+        "The prostrate lover, when he lowest lies,
+        But stoops to conquer, and but kneels to rise."
+
+In the course of the world, the qualifications of the chameleon are often
+necessary; nay, they must be carried a little further, and exerted a
+little sooner; for you should, to a certain degree, take the hue of
+either the man or the woman that you want, and wish to be upon terms
+with. 'A propos', have you yet found out at Paris, any friendly and
+hospitable Madame de Lursay, 'qui veut bien se charger du soin de vous
+eduquer'? And have you had any occasion of representing to her, 'qu'elle
+faisoit donc des noeuds'? But I ask your pardon, Sir, for the abruptness
+of the question, and acknowledge that I am meddling with matters that are
+out of my department. However, in matters of less importance, I desire to
+be 'de vos secrets le fidele depositaire'. Trust me with the general turn
+and color of your amusements at Paris. Is it 'le fracas du grand monde,
+comedies, bals, operas, cour,' etc.? Or is it 'des petites societes,
+moins bruyantes, mais pas pour cela moins agreables'? Where are you the
+most 'etabli'? Where are you 'le petit Stanhope? Voyez vous encore jour,
+a quelque arrangement honnete? Have you made many acquaintances among the
+young Frenchmen who ride at your Academy; and who are they? Send to me
+this sort of chit-chat in your letters, which, by the bye, I wish you
+would honor me with somewhat oftener. If you frequent any of the myriads
+of polite Englishmen who infest Paris, who are they? Have you finished
+with Abbe Nolet, and are you 'au fait' of all the properties and effects
+of air? Were I inclined to quibble, I would say, that the effects of air,
+at least, are best to be learned of Marcel. If you have quite done with
+l'Abbes Nolet, ask my friend l'Abbe Sallier to recommend to you some
+meagre philomath, to teach you a little geometry and astronomy; not
+enough to absorb your attention and puzzle your intellects, but only
+enough not to be grossly ignorant of either. I have of late been a sort
+of 'astronome malgre moi', by bringing in last Monday into the House of
+Lords a bill for reforming our present Calendar and taking the New Style.
+Upon which occasion I was obliged to talk some astronomical jargon, of
+which I did not understand one word, but got it by heart, and spoke it by
+rote from a master. I wished that I had known a little more of it myself;
+and so much I would have you know. But the great and necessary knowledge
+of all is, to know, yourself and others: this knowledge requires great
+attention and long experience; exert the former, and may you have the
+latter! Adieu!
+
+P. S. I have this moment received your letters of the 27th February, and
+the 2d March, N. S. The seal shall be done as soon as possible. I am,
+glad that you are employed in Lord Albemarle's bureau; it will teach you,
+at least, the mechanical part of that business, such as folding,
+entering, and docketing letters; for you must not imagine that you are
+let into the 'fin fin' of the correspondence, nor indeed is it fit that
+you should, at, your age. However, use yourself to secrecy as to the
+letters you either read or write, that in time you may be trusted with
+SECRET, VERY SECRET, SEPARATE, APART, etc. I am sorry that this business
+interferes with your riding; I hope it is seldom; but I insist upon its
+not interfering with your dancing-master, who is at this time the most
+useful and necessary of all the masters you have or can have.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXIII
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: I mentioned to you, some time ago a sentence which I
+would most earnestly wish you always to retain in your thoughts, and
+observe in your conduct. It is 'suaviter in modo, fortiter in re'
+[gentleness of manners, with firmness of mind D.W.]. I do not know any
+one rule so unexceptionably useful and necessary in every part of life. I
+shall therefore take it for my text to-day, and as old men love
+preaching, and I have some right to preach to you, I here present you
+with my sermon upon these words. To proceed, then, regularly and
+PULPITICALLY, I will first show you, my beloved, the necessary connection
+of the two members of my text 'suaviter in modo: fortiter in re'. In the
+next place, I shall set forth the advantages and utility resulting from a
+strict observance of the precept contained in my text; and conclude with
+an application of the whole. The 'suaviter in modo' alone would
+degenerate and sink into a mean, timid complaisance and passiveness, if
+not supported and dignified by the 'fortiter in re', which would also run
+into impetuosity and brutality, if not tempered and softened by the
+'suaviter in modo': however, they are seldom united.
+
+The warm, choleric man, with strong animal spirits, despises the
+'suaviter in modo', and thinks to, carry all before him by the 'fortiter
+in re'. He may, possibly, by great accident, now and then succeed, when
+he has only weak and timid people to deal with; but his general fate will
+be, to shock offend, be hated, and fail. On the other hand, the cunning,
+crafty man thinks to gain all his ends by the 'suaviter in modo' only; HE
+BECOMES ALL THINGS TO ALL MEN; he seems to have no opinion of his own,
+and servilely adopts the present opinion of the present person; he
+insinuates himself only into the esteem of fools, but is soon detected,
+and surely despised by everybody else. The wise man (who differs as much
+from the cunning, as from the choleric man) alone joins the 'suaviter in
+modo' with the 'fortiter in re'. Now to the advantages arising from the
+strict observance of this precept:
+
+If you are in authority, and have a right to command, your commands
+delivered 'suaviter in modo' will be willingly, cheerfully, and
+consequently well obeyed; whereas, if given only 'fortiter', that is
+brutally, they will rather, as Tacitus says, be interrupted than
+executed. For my own part, if I bid my footman bring me a glass of wine,
+in a rough insulting manner, I should expect that, in obeying me, he
+would contrive to spill some of it upon me: and I am sure I should
+deserve it. A cool, steady resolution should show that where you have a
+right to command you will be obeyed; but at the same time, a gentleness
+in the manner of enforcing that obedience should make it a cheerful one,
+and soften as much as possible the mortifying consciousness of
+inferiority. If you are to ask a favor, or even to solicit your due, you
+must do it 'suaviter in modo', or you will give those who have a mind to
+refuse you, either a pretense to do it, by resenting the manner; but, on
+the other hand, you must, by a steady perseverance and decent
+tenaciousness, show the 'fortiter in re'. The right motives are seldom
+the true ones of men's actions, especially of kings, ministers, and
+people in high stations; who often give to importunity and fear, what
+they would refuse to justice or to merit. By the 'suaviter in modo'
+engage their hearts, if you can; at least prevent the pretense of offense
+but take care to show enough of the 'fortiter in re' to extort from their
+love of ease, or their fear, what you might in vain hope for from their
+justice or good-nature. People in high life are hardened to the wants and
+distresses of mankind, as surgeons are to their bodily pains; they see
+and hear of them all day long, and even of so many simulated ones, that
+they do not know which are real, and which not. Other sentiments are
+therefore to be applied to, than those of mere justice and humanity;
+their favor must be captivated by the 'suaviter in modo'; their love of
+ease disturbed by unwearied importunity, or their fears wrought upon by a
+decent intimation of implacable, cool resentment; this is the true
+'fortiter in re'. This precept is the only way I know in the world of
+being loved without being despised, and feared without being hated. It
+constitutes the dignity of character which every wise man must endeavor
+to establish.
+
+Now to apply what has been said, and so conclude.
+
+If you find that you have a hastiness in your temper, which unguardedly
+breaks out into indiscreet sallies, or rough expressions, to either your
+superiors, your equals, or your inferiors, watch it narrowly, check it
+carefully, and call the 'suaviter in modo' to your assistance: at the
+first impulse of passion, be silent till you can be soft. Labor even to
+get the command of your countenance so well, that those emotions may not
+be read in it; a most unspeakable advantage in business! On the other
+hand, let no complaisance, no gentleness of temper, no weak desire of
+pleasing on your part,--no wheedling, coaxing, nor flattery, on other
+people's,--make you recede one jot from any point that reason and
+prudence have bid you pursue; but return to the charge, persist,
+persevere, and you will find most things attainable that are possible. A
+yielding, timid meekness is always abused and insulted by the unjust and
+the unfeeling; but when sustained by the 'fortiter in re', is always
+respected, commonly successful. In your friendships and connections, as
+well as in your enmities, this rule is particularly useful; let your
+firmness and vigor preserve and invite attachments to you; but, at the
+same time, let your manner hinder the enemies of your friends and
+dependents from becoming yours; let your enemies be disarmed by the
+gentleness of your manner, but let them feel, at the same time, the
+steadiness of your just resentment; for there is a great difference
+between bearing malice, which is always ungenerous, and a resolute
+self-defense, which is always prudent and justifiable. In negotiations
+with foreign ministers, remember the 'fortiter in re'; give up no point,
+accept of no expedient, till the utmost necessity reduces you to it, and
+even then, dispute the ground inch by inch; but then, while you are
+contending with the minister 'fortiter in re', remember to gain the man
+by the 'suaviter in modo'. If you engage his heart, you have a fair
+chance for imposing upon his understanding, and determining his will.
+Tell him, in a frank, gallant manner, that your ministerial wrangles do
+not lessen your personal regard for his merit; but that, on the contrary,
+his zeal and ability in the service of his master, increase it; and that,
+of all things, you desire to make a good friend of so good a servant. By
+these means you may, and will very often be a gainer: you never can be a
+loser. Some people cannot gain upon themselves to be easy and civil to
+those who are either their rivals, competitors, or opposers, though,
+independently of those accidental circumstances, they would like and
+esteem them. They betray a shyness and an awkwardness in company with
+them, and catch at any little thing to expose them; and so, from
+temporary and only occasional opponents, make them their personal
+enemies. This is exceedingly weak and detrimental, as indeed is all humor
+in business; which can only be carried on successfully by, unadulterated
+good policy and right reasoning. In such situations I would be more
+particularly and 'noblement', civil, easy, and frank with the man whose
+designs I traversed: this is commonly called generosity and magnanimity,
+but is, in truth, good sense and policy. The manner is often as important
+as the matter, sometimes more so; a favor may make an enemy, and an
+injury may make a friend, according to the different manner in which they
+are severally done. The countenance, the address, the words, the
+enunciation, the Graces, add great efficacy to the 'suaviter in modo',
+and great dignity to the 'fortiter in re', and consequently they deserve
+the utmost attention.
+
+From what has been said, I conclude with this observation, that
+gentleness of manners, with firmness of mind, is a short, but full
+description of human perfection on this side of religious and moral
+duties. That you may be seriously convinced of this truth, and show it in
+your life and conversation, is the most sincere and ardent wish of,
+Yours.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXIV
+
+LONDON, March 11, O. S. 1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: I received by the last post a letter from Abbe Guasco, in
+which he joins his representations to those of Lord Albemarle, against
+your remaining any longer in your very bad lodgings at the Academy; and,
+as I do not find that any advantage can arise to you from being 'interne'
+in an academy which is full as far from the riding-house and from all
+your other masters, as your lodgings will probably be, I agree to your
+removing to an 'hotel garni'; the Abbe will help you to find one, as I
+desire him by the inclosed, which you will give him. I must, however,
+annex one condition to your going into private lodgings, which is an
+absolute exclusion of English breakfasts and suppers at them; the former
+consume the whole morning, and the latter employ the evenings very ill,
+in senseless toasting a l'Angloise in their infernal claret. You will be
+sure to go to the riding-house as often as possible, that is, whenever
+your new business at Lord Albemarle's does not hinder you. But, at all
+events, I insist upon your never missing Marcel, who is at present of
+more consequence to you than all the bureaux in Europe; for this is the
+time for you to acquire 'tous ces petits riens', which, though in an
+arithmetical account, added to one another 'ad infinitum', they would
+amount to nothing, in the account of the world amount to a great and
+important sum. 'Les agremens et les graces', without which you will never
+be anything, are absolutely made up of all those 'riens', which are more
+easily felt than described. By the way, you may take your lodgings for
+one whole year certain, by which means you may get them much cheaper; for
+though I intend to see you here in less than a year, it will be but for a
+little time, and you will return to Paris again, where I intend you shall
+stay till the end of April twelvemonth, 1752, at which time, provided you
+have got all 'la politesse, les manieres, les attentions, et les graces
+du beau monde', I shall place you in some business suitable to your
+destination.
+
+I have received, at last, your present of the cartoon, from Dominichino,
+by Planchet. It is very finely done, it is pity that he did not take in
+all the figures of the original. I will hang it up, where it shall be
+your own again some time or other.
+
+Mr. Harte is returned in perfect health from Cornwall, and has taken
+possession of his prebendal house at Windsor, which is a very pretty one.
+As I dare say you will always feel, I hope you will always express, the
+strongest sentiments of gratitude and friendship for him. Write to him
+frequently, and attend to the letters you receive from him. He shall be
+with us at Blackheath, alias BABIOLE, all the time that I propose you
+shall be there, which I believe will be the month of August next.
+
+Having thus mentioned to you the probable time of our meeting, I will
+prepare you a little for it. Hatred; jealousy, or envy, make, most people
+attentive to discover the least defects of those they do not love; they
+rejoice at every new discovery they make of that kind, and take care to
+publish it. I thank God, I do not know what those three ungenerous
+passions are, having never felt them in my own breast; but love has just
+the same effect upon me, except that I conceal, instead of publishing,
+the defeats which my attention makes me discover in those I love. I
+curiously pry into them; I analyze them; and, wishing either to find them
+perfect, or to make them so, nothing escapes me, and I soon discover
+every the least gradation toward or from that perfection. You must
+therefore expect the most critical 'examen' that ever anybody underwent.
+I shall discover your least, as well as your greatest defects, and I
+shall very freely tell you of them, 'Non quod odio habeam sed quod amem'.
+But I shall tell them you 'tete-a-tete', and as MICIO not as DEMEA; and I
+will tell them to nobody else. I think it but fair to inform you
+beforehand, where I suspect that my criticisms are likely to fall; and
+that is more upon the outward, than upon the inward man; I neither
+suspect your heart nor your head; but to be plain with you, I have a
+strange distrust of your air, your address, your manners, your
+'tournure', and particularly of your ENUNCIATION and elegance of style.
+These will be all put to the trial; for while you are with me, you must
+do the honors of my house and table; the least inaccuracy or inelegance
+will not escape me; as you will find by a LOOK at the time, and by a
+remonstrance afterward when we are alone. You will see a great deal of
+company of all sorts at BABIOLE, and particularly foreigners. Make,
+therefore, in the meantime, all these exterior and ornamental
+qualifications your peculiar care, and disappoint all my imaginary
+schemes of criticism. Some authors have criticised their own works first,
+in hopes of hindering others from doing it afterward: but then they do it
+themselves with so much tenderness and partiality for their own
+production, that not only the production itself, but the preventive
+criticism is criticised. I am not one of those authors; but, on the
+contrary, my severity increases with my fondness for my work; and if you
+will but effectually correct all the faults I shall find, I will insure
+you from all subsequent criticisms from other quarters.
+
+Are you got a little into the interior, into the constitution of things
+at Paris? Have you seen what you have seen thoroughly? For, by the way,
+few people see what they see, or hear what they hear. For example, if you
+go to les Invalides, do you content yourself with seeing the building,
+the hall where three or four hundred cripples dine, and the galleries
+where they lie? or do you inform yourself of the numbers, the conditions
+of their admission, their allowance, the value and nature of the fund by
+which the whole is supported? This latter I call seeing, the former is
+only starting. Many people take the opportunity of 'les vacances', to go
+and see the empty rooms where the several chambers of the parliament did
+sit; which rooms are exceedingly like all other large rooms; when you go
+there, let it be when they are full; see and hear what is doing in them;
+learn their respective constitutions, jurisdictions, objects, and methods
+of proceeding; hear some causes tried in every one of the different
+chambers; 'Approfondissez les choses'.
+
+I am glad to hear that you are so well at Marquis de St. Germain's,
+--[At that time Ambassador from the King of Sardinia at the Court of
+France.]--of whom I hear a very good character. How are you with the
+other foreign ministers at Paris? Do you frequent the Dutch Ambassador or
+Ambassadress? Have you any footing at the Nuncio's, or at the Imperial
+and Spanish ambassadors? It is useful. Be more particular in your letters
+to me, as to your manner of passing your time, and the company you keep.
+Where do you dine and sup oftenest? whose house is most your home? Adieu.
+'Les Graces, les Graces'.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXV
+
+LONDON, March 18, O. S. 1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: I acquainted you in a former letter, that I had brought a
+bill into the House of Lords for correcting and reforming our present
+calendar, which is the Julian, and for adopting the Gregorian. I will now
+give you a more particular account of that affair; from which reflections
+will naturally occur to you that I hope may be useful, and which I fear
+you have not made. It was notorious, that the Julian calendar was
+erroneous, and had overcharged the solar year with eleven days. Pope
+Gregory the Thirteenth corrected this error; his reformed calendar was
+immediately received by all the Catholic powers of Europe, and afterward
+adopted by all the Protestant ones, except Russia, Sweden, and England.
+It was not, in my opinion, very honorable for England to remain, in a
+gross and avowed error, especially in such company; the inconveniency of
+it was likewise felt by all those who had foreign correspondences,
+whether political or mercantile. I determined, therefore, to attempt the
+reformation; I consulted the best lawyers and the most skillful
+astronomers, and we cooked up a bill for that purpose. But then my
+difficulty began: I was to bring in this bill, which was necessarily
+composed of law jargon and astronomical calculations, to both which I am
+an utter stranger. However, it was absolutely necessary to make the House
+of Lords think that I knew something of the matter; and also to make them
+believe that they knew something of it themselves, which they do not. For
+my own part, I could just as soon have talked Celtic or Sclavonian to
+them as astronomy, and they would have understood me full as well: so I
+resolved to do better than speak to the purpose, and to please instead of
+informing them. I gave them, therefore, only an historical account of
+calendars, from the Egyptian down to the Gregorian, amusing them now and
+then with little episodes; but I was particularly attentive to the choice
+of my words, to the harmony and roundness of my periods, to my elocution,
+to my action. This succeeded, and ever will succeed; they thought I
+informed, because I pleased them; and many of them said that I had made
+the whole very clear to them; when, God knows, I had not even attempted
+it. Lord Macclesfield, who had the greatest share in forming the bill,
+and who is one of the greatest mathematicians and astronomers in Europe,
+spoke afterward with infinite knowledge, and all the clearness that so
+intricate a matter would admit of: but as his words, his periods, and his
+utterance, were not near so good as mine, the preference was most
+unanimously, though most unjustly, given to me. This will ever be the
+case; every numerous assembly is MOB, let the individuals who compose it
+be what they will. Mere reason and good sense is never to be talked to a
+mob; their passions, their sentiments, their senses, and their seeming
+interests, are alone to be applied to. Understanding they have
+collectively none, but they have ears and eyes, which must be flattered
+and seduced; and this can only be done by eloquence, tuneful periods,
+graceful action, and all the various parts of oratory.
+
+When you come into the House of Commons, if you imagine that speaking
+plain and unadorned sense and reason will do your business, you will find
+yourself most grossly mistaken. As a speaker, you will be ranked only
+according to your eloquence, and by no means according to your matter;
+everybody knows the matter almost alike, but few can adorn it. I was
+early convinced of the importance and powers of eloquence; and from that
+moment I applied myself to it. I resolved not to utter one word, even in
+common conversation, that should not be the most expressive and the most
+elegant that the language could supply me with for that purpose; by which
+means I have acquired such a certain degree of habitual eloquence, that I
+must now really take some pains, if, I would express myself very
+inelegantly. I want to inculcate this known truth into you, which, you
+seem by no means to be convinced of yet, that ornaments are at present
+your only objects. Your sole business now is to shine, not to weigh.
+Weight without lustre is lead. You had better talk trifles elegantly to
+the most trifling woman, than coarse in elegant sense to the most solid
+man; you had better, return a dropped fan genteelly, than give a thousand
+pounds awkwardly; and you had better refuse a favor gracefully, than to
+grant it clumsily. Manner is all, in everything: it is by manner only
+that you can please, and consequently rise. All your Greek will never
+advance you from secretary to envoy, or from envoy to ambassador; but
+your address, your manner, your air, if good, very probably may. Marcel
+can be of much more use to you than Aristotle. I would, upon my word,
+much rather that you had Lord Bolingbroke's style and eloquence in
+speaking and writing, than all the learning of the Academy of Sciences,
+the Royal Society, and the two Universities united.
+
+Having mentioned Lord Bolingbroke's style, which is, undoubtedly,
+infinitely superior to anybody's, I would have you read his works, which
+you have, over and-over again, with particular attention to his style.
+Transcribe, imitate, emulate it, if possible: that would be of real use
+to you in the House of Commons, in negotiations, in conversation; with
+that, you may justly hope to please, to persuade, to seduce, to impose;
+and you will fail in those articles, in proportion as you fall short of
+it. Upon the whole, lay aside, during your year's residence at Paris, all
+thoughts of all that dull fellows call solid, and exert your utmost care
+to acquire what people of fashion call shining. 'Prenez l'eclat et le
+brillant d'un galant homme'.
+
+Among the commonly called little things, to which you, do not attend,
+your handwriting is one, which is indeed shamefully bad and illiberal; it
+is neither the hand of a man of business, nor of a gentleman, but of a
+truant school-boy; as soon, therefore, as you have done with Abbe Nolet,
+pray get an excellent writing-master (since you think that you cannot
+teach yourself to write what hand you please), and let him teach you to
+write a genteel, legible, liberal hand, and quick; not the hand of a
+procureur or a writing-master, but that sort of hand in which the first
+'Commis' in foreign bureaus commonly write; for I tell you truly, that
+were I Lord Albemarle, nothing should remain in my bureau written in your
+present hand. From hand to arms the transition is natural; is the
+carriage and motion of your arms so too? The motion of the arms is the
+most material part of a man's air, especially in dancing; the feet are
+not near so material. If a man dances well from the waist upward, wears
+his hat well, and moves his head properly, he dances well. Do the women
+say that you dress well? for that is necessary too for a young fellow.
+Have you 'un gout vif', or a passion for anybody? I do not ask for whom:
+an Iphigenia would both give you the desire, and teach you the means to
+please.
+
+In a fortnight or three weeks you will see Sir Charles Hotham at Paris,
+in his way to Toulouse, where he is to stay a year or two. Pray be very
+civil to him, but do not carry him into company, except presenting him to
+Lord Albemarle; for, as he is not to stay at Paris above a week, we do
+not desire that he should taste of that dissipation: you may show him a
+play and an opera. Adieu, my dear child.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXVI
+
+LONDON, March 25, O. S. 1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: What a happy period of your life is this? Pleasure is
+now, and ought to be, your business. While you were younger, dry rules,
+and unconnected words, were the unpleasant objects of your labors. When
+you grow older, the anxiety, the vexations, the disappointments
+inseparable from public business, will require the greatest share of your
+time and attention; your pleasures may, indeed, conduce to your business,
+and your business will quicken your pleasures; but still your time must,
+at least, be divided: whereas now it is wholly your own, and cannot be so
+well employed as in the pleasures of a gentleman. The world is now the
+only book you want, and almost the only one you ought to read: that
+necessary book can only be read in company, in public places, at meals,
+and in 'ruelles'. You must be in the pleasures, in order to learn the
+manners of good company. In premeditated, or in formal business, people
+conceal, or at least endeavor to conceal, their characters: whereas
+pleasures discover them, and the heart breaks out through the guard of
+the understanding. Those are often propitious moments for skillful
+negotiators to improve. In your destination particularly, the able
+conduct of pleasures is of infinite use; to keep a good table, and to do
+the honors of it gracefully, and 'sur le ton de la bonne compagnie', is
+absolutely necessary for a foreign minister. There is a certain light
+table chit-chat, useful to keep off improper and too serious subjects,
+which is only to be learned in the pleasures of good company. In truth it
+may be trifling; but, trifling as it is, a man of parts and experience of
+the world will give an agreeable turn to it. 'L'art de badiner
+agreablement' is by no means to be despised.
+
+An engaging address, and turn to gallantry, is often of very great
+service to foreign ministers. Women have, directly or indirectly; a good
+deal to say in most courts. The late Lord Strafford governed, for a
+considerable time, the Court of Berlin and made his own fortune, by being
+well with Madame de Wartenberg, the first King of Prussia's mistress. I
+could name many other instances of that kind. That sort of agreeable
+'caquet de femmes', the necessary fore-runners of closer conferences, is
+only to be got by frequenting women of the first fashion, 'et, qui
+donnent le ton'. Let every other book then give way to this great and
+necessary book, the world, of which there are so many various readings,
+that it requires a great deal of time and attention to under stand it
+well: contrary to all other books, you must not stay home, but go abroad
+to read it; and when you seek it abroad, you will not find it in
+booksellers' shops and stalls, but in courts, in hotels, at
+entertainments, balls, assemblies, spectacles, etc. Put yourself upon the
+footing of an easy, domestic, but polite familiarity and intimacy in the
+several French houses to which you have been introduced: Cultivate them,
+frequent them, and show a desire of becoming 'enfant de la maison'. Get
+acquainted as much as you can with 'les gens de cour'; and observe,
+carefully, how politely they can differ, and how civilly they can hate;
+how easy and idle they can seem in the multiplicity of their business;
+and how they can lay hold of the proper moments to carry it on, in the
+midst of their pleasures. Courts, alone, teach versatility and
+politeness; for there is no living there without them. Lord Albermarle
+has, I hear, and am very glad of it, put you into the hands of Messieurs
+de Bissy. Profit of that, and beg of them to let you attend them in all
+the companies of Versailles and Paris. One of them, at least, will
+naturally carry you to Madame de la Valiores, unless he is discarded by
+this time, and Gelliot--[A famous opera-singer at Paris.]--retaken. Tell
+them frankly, 'que vous cherchez a vous former, que vous etes en mains de
+maitres, s'ils veulent bien s'en donner la peine'. Your profession has
+this agreeable peculiarity in it, which is, that it is connected with,
+and promoted by pleasures; and it is the only one in which a thorough
+knowledge of the world, polite manners, and an engaging address, are
+absolutely necessary. If a lawyer knows his law, a parson his divinity,
+and a financier his calculations, each may make a figure and a fortune in
+his profession, without great knowledge of the world, and without the
+manners of gentlemen. But your profession throws you into all the
+intrigues and cabals, as well as pleasures, of courts: in those windings
+and labyrinths, a knowledge of the world, a discernment of characters, a
+suppleness and versatility of mind, and an elegance of manners, must be
+your clue; you must know how to soothe and lull the monsters that guard,
+and how to address and gain the fair that keep, the golden fleece. These
+are the arts and the accomplishments absolutely necessary for a foreign
+minister; in which it must be owned, to our shame, that most other
+nations outdo the English; and, 'caeteris paribus', a French minister
+will get the better of an English one at any third court in Europe. The
+French have something more 'liant', more insinuating and engaging in
+their manner, than we have. An English minister shall have resided seven
+years at a court, without having made any one personal connection there,
+or without being intimate and domestic in any one house. He is always the
+English minister, and never naturalized. He receives his orders, demands
+an audience, writes an account of it to his Court, and his business is
+done. A French minister, on the contrary, has not been six weeks at a
+court without having, by a thousand little attentions, insinuated himself
+into some degree of favor with the Prince, his wife, his mistress, his
+favorite, and his minister. He has established himself upon a familiar
+and domestic footing in a dozen of the best houses of the place, where he
+has accustomed the people to be not only easy, but unguarded, before him;
+he makes himself at home there, and they think him so. By these means he
+knows the interior of those courts, and can almost write prophecies to
+his own, from the knowledge he has of the characters, the humors, the
+abilities, or the weaknesses of the actors. The Cardinal d'Ossat was
+looked upon at Rome as an Italian, and not as a French cardinal; and
+Monsieur d'Avaux, wherever he went, was never considered as a foreign
+minister, but as a native, and a personal friend. Mere plain truth,
+sense, and knowledge, will by no means do alone in courts; art and
+ornaments must come to their assistance. Humors must be flattered; the
+'mollia tempora' must be studied and known: confidence acquired by
+seeming frankness, and profited of by silent skill. And, above all; you
+must gain and engage the heart, to betray the understanding to you. 'Ha
+tibi erunt artes'.
+
+The death of the Prince of Wales, who was more beloved for his affability
+and good-nature than esteemed for his steadiness and conduct, has given
+concern to many, and apprehensions to all. The great difference of the
+ages of the King and Prince George presents the prospect of a minority; a
+disagreeable prospect for any nation! But it is to be hoped, and is most
+probable, that the King, who is now perfectly recovered of his late
+indisposition, may live to see his grandson of age. He is, seriously, a
+most hopeful boy: gentle and good-natured, with good sound sense. This
+event has made all sorts of people here historians, as well as
+politicians. Our histories are rummaged for all the particular
+circumstances of the six minorities we have had since the Conquest, viz,
+those of Henry III., Edward III., Richard II., Henry VI., Edward V., and
+Edward VI.; and the reasonings, the speculations, the conjectures, and
+the predictions, you will easily imagine, must be innumerable and
+endless, in this nation, where every porter is a consummate politician.
+Dr. Swift says, very humorously, that "Every man knows that he
+understands religion and politics, though he never learned them; but that
+many people are conscious that they do not understand many other
+sciences, from having never learned them." Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXVII
+
+LONDON, April 7, O. S. 1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: Here you have, altogether, the pocketbooks, the
+compasses, and the patterns. When your three Graces have made their
+option, you need only send me, in a letter small pieces of the three
+mohairs they fix upon. If I can find no way of sending them safely and
+directly to Paris, I will contrive to have them left with Madame Morel,
+at Calais, who, being Madame Monconseil's agent there, may find means of
+furthering them to your three ladies, who all belong to your friend
+Madame Monconseil. Two of the three, I am told, are handsome; Madame
+Polignac, I can swear, is not so; but, however, as the world goes, two
+out of three is a very good composition.
+
+You will also find in the packet a compass ring set round with little
+diamonds, which I advise you to make a present of to Abbe Guasco, who has
+been useful to you, and will continue to be so; as it is a mere bauble,
+you must add to the value of it by your manner of giving it him. Show it
+him first, and, when he commends it, as probably he will, tell him that
+it is at his service, 'et que comme il est toujours par vole et par
+chemins, il est absolument necessaire qu'il ale une boussole'. All those
+little gallantries depend entirely upon the manner of doing them; as, in
+truth, what does not? The greatest favors may be done so awkwardly and
+bunglingly as to offend; and disagreeable things may be done so agreeably
+as almost to oblige. Endeavor to acquire this great secret; it exists, it
+is to be found, and is worth a great deal more than the grand secret of
+the alchemists would be if it were, as it is not, to be found. This is
+only to be learned in courts, where clashing views, jarring opinions, and
+cordial hatreds, are softened and kept within decent bounds by politeness
+and manners. Frequent, observe, and learn courts. Are you free of that of
+St. Cloud? Are you often at Versailles? Insinuate and wriggle yourself
+into favor at those places. L'Abbe de la Ville, my old friend, will help
+you at the latter; your three ladies may establish you in the former. The
+good-breeding 'de la ville et de la cour' [of the city and of the court]
+are different; but without deciding which is intrinsically the best, that
+of the court is, without doubt, the most necessary for you, who are to
+live, to grow, and to rise in courts. In two years' time, which will be
+as soon as you are fit for it, I hope to be able to plant you in the soil
+of a YOUNG COURT here: where, if you have all the address, the suppleness
+and versatility of a good courtier, you will have a great chance of
+thriving and flourishing. Young favor is easily acquired if the proper
+means are employed; and, when acquired, it is warm, if not durable; and
+the warm moments must be snatched and improved. 'Quitte pour ce qui en
+pent arriver apres'. Do not mention this view of mine for you to any one
+mortal; but learn to keep your own secrets, which, by the way, very few
+people can do.
+
+If your course of experimental philosophy with Abbe Nolot is over, I
+would have you apply to Abbe Sallier, for a master to give you a general
+notion of astronomy and geometry; of both of which you may know as much,
+as I desire you should, in six months' time. I only desire that you
+should have a clear notion of the present planetary system, and the
+history of all the former systems. Fontenelle's 'Pluralites des Mondes'
+will almost teach you all you need know upon that subject. As for
+geometry, the seven first books of Euclid will be a sufficient portion of
+it for you. It is right to have a general notion of those abstruse
+sciences, so as not to appear quite ignorant of them, when they happen,
+as sometimes they do, to be the topics of conversation; but a deep
+knowledge of them requires too much time, and engrosses the mind too
+much. I repeat it again and again to you, Let the great book of the world
+be your principal study. 'Nocturna versate manu, versate diurna'; which
+may be rendered thus in English: Turn Over MEN BY DAY, AND WOMEN BY
+NIGHT. I mean only the best editions.
+
+Whatever may be said at Paris of my speech upon the bill for the
+reformation of the present calendar, or whatever applause it may have met
+with here, the whole, I can assure you, is owing to the words and to the
+delivery, but by no means to the matter; which, as I told you in a former
+letter, I was not master of. I mention this again, to show you the
+importance of well-chosen words, harmonious periods, and good delivery;
+for, between you and me, Lord Macclefield's speech was, in truth, worth a
+thousand of mine. It will soon be printed, and I will send it you. It is
+very instructive. You say, that you wish to speak but half as well as I
+did; you may easily speak full as well as ever I did, if you will but
+give the same attention to the same objects that I did at your age, and
+for many years afterward; I mean correctness, purity, and elegance of
+style, harmony of periods, and gracefulness of delivery. Read over and
+over again the third book of 'Cicero de Oratore', in which he
+particularly treats of the ornamental parts of oratory; they are indeed
+properly oratory, for all the rest depends only upon common sense, and
+some knowledge of the subject you speak upon. But if you would please,
+persuade, and prevail in speaking, it must be by the ornamental parts of
+oratory. Make them therefore habitual to you; and resolve never to say
+the most common things, even to your footman, but in the best words you
+can find, and with the best utterance. This, with 'les manieres, la
+tournure, et les usages du beau monde', are the only two things you want;
+fortunately, they are both in your power; may you have them both! Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXVIII
+
+LONDON, April 15, O. S. 1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: What success with the graces, and in the accomplishments,
+elegancies, and all those little nothings so indispensably necessary to
+constitute an amiable man? Do you take them, do you make a progress in
+them? The great secret is the art of pleasing; and that art is to be
+attained by every man who has a good fund of common sense. If you are
+pleased with any person, examine why; do as he does; and you will charm
+others by the same things which please you in him. To be liked by women,
+you must be esteemed by men; and to please men, you must be agreeable to
+women. Vanity is unquestionably the ruling passion in women; and it is
+much flattered by the attentions of a man who is generally esteemed by
+men; when his merit has received the stamp of their approbation, women
+make it current, that is to say, put him in fashion. On the other hand,
+if a man has not received the last polish from women, he may be estimable
+among men, but will never be amiable. The concurrence of the two sexes is
+as necessary to the perfection of our being, as to the formation of it.
+Go among women with the good qualities of your sex, and you will acquire
+from them the softness and the graces of theirs. Men will then add
+affection to the esteem which they before had for you. Women are the only
+refiners of the merit of men; it is true, they cannot add weight, but
+they polish and give lustre to it. 'A propos', I am assured, that Madame
+de Blot, although she has no great regularity of features, is,
+notwithstanding, excessively pretty; and that, for all that, she has as
+yet been scrupulously constant to her husband, though she has now been
+married above a year. Surely she does not reflect, that woman wants
+polishing. I would have you polish one another reciprocally. Force,
+assiduities, attentions, tender looks, and passionate declarations, on
+your side will produce some irresolute wishes, at least, on hers; and
+when even the slightest wishes arise, the rest will soon follow.
+
+As I take you to be the greatest 'juris peritus' and politician of the
+whole Germanic body, I suppose you will have read the King of Prussia's
+letter to the Elector of Mayence, upon the election of a King of the
+Romans; and on the other side, a memorial entitled, IMPARTIAL
+REPRESENTATION OF WHAT IS JUST WITH REGARD TO THE ELECTION OF A KING OF
+THE ROMANS, etc. The first is extremely well written, but not grounded
+upon the laws and customs of the empire. The second is very ill written
+(at least in French), but well grounded. I fancy the author is some
+German, who has taken into his head that he understands French. I am,
+however, persuaded that the elegance and delicacy of the King of
+Prussia's letter will prevail with two-thirds of the public, in spite of
+the solidity and truth contained in the other piece. Such is the force of
+an elegant and delicate style!
+
+I wish you would be so good as to give me a more particular and
+circumstantial account of the method of passing your time at Paris. For
+instance, where it is that you dine every Friday, in company with that
+amiable and respectable old man, Fontenelle? Which is the house where you
+think yourself at home? For one always has such a one, where one is
+better established, and more at ease than anywhere else. Who are the
+young Frenchmen with whom you are most intimately connected? Do you
+frequent the Dutch Ambassador's. Have you penetrated yet into Count
+Caunitz's house? Has Monsieur de Pignatelli the honor of being one of
+your humble servants? And has the Pope's nuncio included you in the
+jubilee? Tell me also freely how you are with Lord Huntingdon: Do you see
+him often? Do you connect yourself with him? Answer all these questions
+circumstantially in your first letter.
+
+I am told that Du Clos's book is not in vogue at Paris, and that it is
+violently criticised: I suppose that is because one understands it; and
+being intelligible is now no longer the fashion. I have a very great
+respect for fashion, but a much greater for this book; which is, all at
+once, true, solid, and bright. It contains even epigrams; what can one
+wish for more?
+
+Mr.------will, I suppose, have left Paris by this time for his residence
+at Toulouse. I hope he will acquire manners there; I am sure he wants
+them. He is awkward, he is silent, and has nothing agreeable in his
+address,--most necessary qualifications to distinguish one's self in
+business, as well as in the POLITE WORLD! In truth, these two things are
+so connected, that a man cannot make a figure in business, who is not
+qualified to shine in the great world; and to succeed perfectly in either
+the one or the other, one must be in 'utrumque paratus'. May you be that,
+my dear friend! and so we wish you a good night.
+
+P. S. Lord and Lady Blessington, with their son Lord Mountjoy, will be at
+Paris next week, in their way to the south of France; I send you a little
+packet of books by them. Pray go wait upon them, as soon as you hear of
+their arrival, and show them all the attentions you can.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXIX
+
+LONDON, April 22, O. S. 1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: I apply to you now, as to the greatest virtuoso of this,
+or perhaps any other age; one whose superior judgment and distinguishing
+eye hindered the King of Poland from buying a bad picture at Venice, and
+whose decisions in the realms of 'virtu' are final, and without appeal.
+Now to the point. I have had a catalogue sent me, 'd'une Trente a
+l'aimable de Tableaux des plus Grands Maitres, appartenans au Sieur
+Araignon Aperen, valet de chambre de la Reine, sur le quai de la
+Megisserie, au coin de Arche Marion'. There I observe two large pictures
+of Titian, as described in the inclosed page of the catalogue, No. 18,
+which I should be glad to purchase upon two conditions: the first is,
+that they be undoubted originals of Titian, in good preservation; and the
+other that they come cheap. To ascertain the first (but without
+disparaging your skill), I wish you would get some undoubted connoisseurs
+to examine them carefully: and if, upon such critical examination, they
+should be unanimously allowed to be undisputed originals of Titian, and
+well preserved, then comes the second point, the price: I will not go
+above two hundred pounds sterling for the two together; but as much less
+as you can get them for. I acknowledge that two hundred pounds seems to
+be a very small sum for two undoubted Titians of that size; but, on the
+other hand, as large Italian pictures are now out of fashion at Paris,
+where fashion decides of everything, and as these pictures are too large
+for common rooms, they may possibly come within the price above limited.
+I leave the whole of this transaction (the price excepted, which I will
+not exceed) to your consummate skill and prudence, with proper advice
+joined to them. Should you happen to buy them for that price, carry them
+to your own lodgings, and get a frame made to the second, which I observe
+has none, exactly the same with the other frame, and have the old one new
+gilt; and then get them carefully packed up, and sent me by Rouen.
+
+I hear much of your conversing with 'les beaux esprits' at Paris: I am
+very glad of it; it gives a degree of reputation, especially at Paris;
+and their conversation is generally instructive, though sometimes
+affected. It must be owned, that the polite conversation of the men and
+women of fashion at Paris, though not always very deep, is much less
+futile and frivolous than ours here. It turns at least upon some subject,
+something of taste, some point of history, criticism, and even
+philosophy; which, though probably not quite so solid as Mr. Locke's, is,
+however, better, and more becoming rational beings, than our frivolous
+dissertations upon the weather, or upon whist. Monsieur du Clos observes,
+and I think very justly, 'qu'il y a a present en France une fermentation
+universelle de la raison qui tend a se developper'. Whereas, I am sorry
+to say, that here that fermentation seems to have been over some years
+ago, the spirit evaporated, and only the dregs left. Moreover, 'les beaux
+esprits' at Paris are commonly well-bred, which ours very frequently are
+not; with the former your manners will be formed; with the latter, wit
+must generally be compounded for at the expense of manners. Are you
+acquainted with Marivaux, who has certainly studied, and is well
+acquainted with the heart; but who refines so much upon its 'plis et
+replis', and describes them so affectedly, that he often is
+unintelligible to his readers, and sometimes so, I dare say, to himself?
+Do you know 'Crebillon le fils'? He is a fine painter and a pleasing
+writer; his characters are admirable and his reflections just. Frequent
+these people, and be glad, but not proud of frequenting them: never boast
+of it, as a proof of your own merit, nor insult, in a manner, other
+companies by telling them affectedly what you, Montesquieu and Fontenelle
+were talking of the other day; as I have known many people do here, with
+regard to Pope and Swift, who had never been twice in company with
+either; nor carry into other companies the 'ton' of those meetings of
+'beaux esprits'. Talk literature, taste, philosophy, etc., with them, 'a
+la bonne heure'; but then, with the same ease, and more 'enjouement',
+talk 'pom-pons, moires', etc., with Madame de Blot, if she requires it.
+Almost every subject in the world has its proper time and place; in which
+no one is above or below discussion. The point is, to talk well upon the
+subject you talk upon; and the most trifling, frivolous subjects will
+still give a man of parts an opportunity of showing them. 'L'usage du
+grand monde' can alone teach that. That was the distinguishing
+characteristic of Alcibiades, and a happy one it was, that he could
+occasionally, and with so much ease, adopt the most different, and even
+the most opposite habits and manners, that each seemed natural to him.
+Prepare yourself for the great world, as the 'athletae' used to do for
+their exercises: oil (if I may use that expression) your mind and your
+manners, to give them the necessary suppleness and flexibility; strength
+alone will not do, as young people are too apt to think.
+
+How do your exercises go on? Can you manage a pretty vigorous 'sauteur'
+between the pillars? Are you got into stirrups yet? 'Faites-vous assaut
+aux armes? But, above all, what does Marcel say of you? Is he satisfied?
+Pray be more particular in your accounts of yourself, for though I have
+frequent accounts of you from others, I desire to have your own too.
+Adieu. Yours, truly and friendly.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXL
+
+LONDON, May 2, O. S. 1751
+
+DEAR FRIEND: Two accounts, which I have very lately received of you, from
+two good judges, have put me into great spirits, as they have given me
+reasonable hopes that you will soon acquire all that I believe you want:
+I mean the air, the address; the graces, and the manners of a man of
+fashion. As these two pictures of you are very unlike that which I
+received, and sent you some months ago, I will name the two painters: the
+first is an old friend and acquaintance of mine, Monsieur d'Aillon. His
+picture is, I hope, like you; for it is a very good one: Monsieur
+Tollot's is still a better, and so advantageous a one, that I will not
+send you a copy of it, for fear of making you too vain. So far only I
+will tell you, that there was but one BUT in either of their accounts;
+and it was this: I gave d'Aillon the question ordinary and extraordinary,
+upon the important article of manners; and extorted this from him: But,
+since you will know it, he still wants that last beautiful varnish, which
+raises the colors, and gives brilliancy to the piece. Be persuaded that
+he will acquire it: he has too much sense not to know its value; and if I
+am not greatly mistaken, more persons than one are now endeavoring to
+give it him. Monsieur Tollot says: "In order to be exactly all that you
+wish him, he only wants those little nothings, those graces in detail,
+and that amiable ease, which can only be acquired by usage of the great
+world. I am assured that he is, in that respect, in good hands. I do not
+know whether that does not rather imply in fine arms." Without entering
+into a nice discussion of the last question, I congratulate you and
+myself upon your being so near that point at which I so anxiously wish
+you to arrive. I am sure that all your attention and endeavors will be
+exerted; and, if exerted, they will succeed. Mr. Tollot says, that you
+are inclined to be fat, but I hope you will decline it as much as you
+can; not by taking anything corrosive to make you lean, but by taking as
+little as you can of those things that would make you fat. Drink no
+chocolate; take your coffee without cream: you cannot possibly avoid
+suppers at Paris, unless you avoid company too, which I would by no means
+have you do; but eat as little at supper as you can, and make even an
+allowance for that little at your dinners. Take occasionally a double
+dose of riding and fencing; and now that summer is come, walk a good deal
+in the Tuileries. It is a real inconvenience to anybody to be fat, and
+besides it is ungraceful for a young fellow. 'A propos', I had like to
+have forgot to tell you, that I charged Tollot to attend particularly to
+your utterence and diction; two points of the utmost importance. To the
+first he says: "His enunciation is not bad, but it is to be wished that
+it were still better; and he expresses himself with more fire than
+elegance. Usage of good company will instruct him likewise in that."
+These, I allow, are all little things, separately; but aggregately, they
+make a most important and great article in the account of a gentleman. In
+the House of Commons you can never make a figure without elegance of
+style, and gracefulness of utterance; and you can never succeed as a
+courtier at your own Court, or as a minister at any other, without those
+innumerable 'petite riens dans les manieres, et dans les attentions'. Mr.
+Yorke is by this time at Paris; make your court to him, but not so as to
+disgust, in the least, Lord Albemarle, who may possibly dislike your
+considering Mr. Yorke as the man of business, and him as only 'pour orner
+la scene'. Whatever your opinion may be upon THAT POINT, take care not to
+let it appear; but be well with them both by showing no public preference
+to either.
+
+Though I must necessarily fall into repetitions by treating the same
+subject so often, I cannot help recommending to you again the utmost
+attention to your air and address. Apply yourself now to Marcel's
+lectures, as diligently as you did formerly to Professor Mascow's; desire
+him to teach you every genteel attitude that the human body can be put
+into; let him make you go in and out of his room frequently, and present
+yourself to him, as if he were by turns different persons; such as a
+minister, a lady, a superior, an equal, and inferior, etc. Learn to seat
+genteelly in different companies; to loll genteelly, and with good
+manners, in those companies where you are authorized to be free, and to
+sit up respectfully where the same freedom is not allowable. Learn even
+to compose your countenance occasionally to the respectful, the cheerful,
+and the insinuating. Take particular care that the motions of your hands
+and arms be easy and graceful; for the genteelness of a man consists more
+in them than in anything else, especially in his dancing. Desire some
+women to tell you of any little awkwardness that they observe in your
+carriage; they are the best judges of those things; and if they are
+satisfied, the men will be so too. Think now only of the decorations. Are
+you acquainted with Madame Geoffrain, who has a great deal of wit; and
+who, I am informed, receives only the very best company in her house? Do
+you know Madame du Pin, who, I remember, had beauty, and I hear has wit
+and reading? I could wish you to converse only with those who, either
+from their rank, their merit, or their beauty, require constant
+attention; for a young man can never improve in company where he thinks
+he may neglect himself. A new bow must be constantly kept bent; when it
+grows older, and has taken the right turn, it may now and then be
+relaxed.
+
+I have this moment paid your draft of L89 75s.; it was signed in a very
+good hand; which proves that a good hand may be written without the
+assistance of magic. Nothing provokes me much more, than to hear people
+indolently say that they cannot do, what is in everybody's power to do,
+if it be but in their will. Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLI
+
+LONDON, May 6, O. S. 1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: The best authors are always the severest critics of their
+own works; they revise, correct, file, and polish them, till they think
+they have brought them to perfection. Considering you as my work, I do
+not look upon myself as a bad author, and am therefore a severe critic. I
+examine narrowly into the least inaccuracy or inelegance, in order to
+correct, not to expose them, and that the work may be perfect at last.
+You are, I know, exceedingly improved in your air, address, and manners,
+since you have been at Paris; but still there is, I believe, room for
+further improvement before you come to that perfection which I have set
+my heart upon seeing you arrive at; and till that moment I must continue
+filing and polishing. In a letter that I received by last post, from a
+friend of yours at Paris, there was this paragraph: "I have the honor to
+assure you, without flattery, that Mr. Stanhope succeeds beyond what
+might be expected from a person of his age. He goes into very good
+company; and that kind of manner, which was at first thought to be too
+decisive and peremptory, is now judged otherwise; because it is
+acknowledged to be the effect of an ingenuous frankness, accompanied by
+politeness, and by a proper deference. He studies to please, and
+succeeds. Madame du Puisieux was the other day speaking of him with
+complacency and friendship. You will be satisfied with him in all
+respects." This is extremely well, and I rejoice at it: one little
+circumstance only may, and I hope will, be altered for the better. Take
+pains to undeceive those who thought that 'petit ton un peu delcide et un
+peu brusque'; as it is not meant so, let it not appear so. Compose your
+countenance to an air of gentleness and 'douceur', use some expressions
+of diffidence of your own opinion, and deference to other people's; such
+as, "If I might be permitted to say--I should think--Is it not rather so?
+At least I have the greatest reason to be diffident of myself." Such
+mitigating, engaging words do by no means weaken your argument; but, on
+the contrary, make it more powerful by making it more pleasing. If it is
+a quick and hasty manner of speaking that people mistake 'pour decide et
+brusque', prevent their mistakes for the future by speaking more
+deliberately, and taking a softer tone of voice; as in this case you are
+free from the guilt, be free from the suspicion, too. Mankind, as I have
+often told you, are more governed by appearances than by realities; and
+with regard to opinion, one had better be really rough and hard, with the
+appearance of gentleness and softness, than just the reverse. Few people
+have penetration enough to discover, attention enough to observe, or even
+concern enough to examine beyond the exterior; they take their notions
+from the surface, and go no deeper: they commend, as the gentlest and
+best-natured man in the world, that man who has the most engaging
+exterior manner, though possibly they have been but once in his company.
+An air, a tone of voice, a composure of countenance to mildness and
+softness, which are all easily acquired, do the business: and without
+further examination, and possibly with the contrary qualities, that man
+is reckoned the gentlest, the modestest, and the best-natured man alive.
+Happy the man, who, with a certain fund of parts and knowledge, gets
+acquainted with the world early enough to make it his bubble, at an age
+when most people are the bubbles of the world! for that is the common
+case of youth. They grow wiser when it is too late; and, ashamed and
+vexed at having been bubbles so long, too often turn knaves at last. Do
+not therefore trust to appearances and outside yourself, but pay other
+people with them; because you may be sure that nine in ten of mankind do,
+and ever will trust to them. This is by no means a criminal or blamable
+simulation, if not used with an ill intention. I am by no means blamable
+in desiring to have other people's good word, good-will, and affection,
+if I do not mean to abuse them. Your heart, I know, is good, your sense
+is sound, and your knowledge extensive. What then remains for you to do?
+Nothing, but to adorn those fundamental qualifications, with such
+engaging and captivating manners, softness, and gentleness, as will
+endear you to those who are able to judge of your real merit, and which
+always stand in the stead of merit with those who are not. I do not mean
+by this to recommend to you 'le fade doucereux', the insipid softness of
+a gentle fool; no, assert your own opinion, oppose other people's when
+wrong; but let your manner, your air, your terms, and your tone of voice,
+be soft and gentle, and that easily and naturally, not affectedly. Use
+palliatives when you contradict; such as I MAY BE MISTAKEN, I AM NOT
+SURE, BUT I BELIEVE, I SHOULD RATHER THINK, etc. Finish any argument or
+dispute with some little good-humored pleasantry, to show that you are
+neither hurt yourself, nor meant to hurt your antagonist; for an
+argument, kept up a good while, often occasions a temporary alienation on
+each side. Pray observe particularly, in those French people who are
+distinguished by that character, 'cette douceur de moeurs et de
+manieres', which they talk of so much, and value so justly; see in what
+it consists; in mere trifles, and most easy to be acquired, where the
+heart is really good. Imitate, copy it, till it becomes habitual and easy
+to you. Without a compliment to you, I take it to be the only thing you
+now want: nothing will sooner give it you than a real passion, or, at
+least, 'un gout vif', for some woman of fashion; and, as I suppose that
+you have either the one or the other by this time, you are consequently
+in the best school. Besides this, if you were to say to Lady Hervey,
+Madame Monconseil, or such others as you look upon to be your friends, It
+is said that I have a kind of manner which is rather too decisive and too
+peremptory; it is not, however, my intention that it should be so; I
+entreat you to correct, and even publicly to punish me whenever I am
+guilty. Do not treat me with the least indulgence, but criticise to the
+utmost. So clear-sighted a judge as you has a right to be severe; and I
+promise you that the criminal will endeavor to correct himself. Yesterday
+I had two of your acquaintances to dine with me, Baron B. and his
+companion Monsieur S. I cannot say of the former, 'qu'il est paitri de
+graces'; and I would rather advise him to go and settle quietly at home,
+than to think of improving himself by further travels. 'Ce n'est pas le
+bois don't on en fait'. His companion is much better, though he has a
+strong 'tocco di tedesco'. They both spoke well of you, and so far I
+liked them both. How go you on with the amiable little Blot? Does she
+listen to your Battering tale? Are you numbered among the list of her
+admirers? Is Madame------your Madame de Lursay? Does she sometimes knot,
+and are you her Meilcour? They say she has softness, sense, and engaging
+manners; in such an apprenticeship much may be learned.--[This whole
+passage, and several others, allude to Crebillon's 'Egaremens du Coeur et
+de l'Esprit', a sentimental novel written about that time, and then much
+in vogue at Paris.]
+
+A woman like her, who has always pleased, and often been pleased, can
+best teach the art of pleasing; that art, without which, 'ogni fatica
+vana'. Marcel's lectures are no small part of that art: they are the
+engaging forerunner of all other accomplishments. Dress is also an
+article not to be neglected, and I hope you do not neglect it; it helps
+in the 'premier abord', which is often decisive. By dress, I mean your
+clothes being well made, fitting you, in the fashion and not above it;
+your hair well done, and a general cleanliness and spruceness in your
+person. I hope you take infinite care of your teeth; the consequences of
+neglecting the mouth are serious, not only to one's self, but to others.
+In short, my dear child, neglect nothing; a little more will complete the
+whole. Adieu. I have not heard from you these three weeks, which I think
+a great while.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLII
+
+LONDON, May 10, O. S. 1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: I received yesterday, at the same time, your letters of
+the 4th and 11th, N. S., and being much more careful of my commissions
+than you are of yours, I do not delay one moment sending you my final
+instructions concerning the pictures. The man you allow to be a Titian,
+and in good preservation; the woman is an indifferent and a damaged
+picture; but as I want them for furniture for a particular room,
+companions are necessary; and therefore I am willing to take the woman
+for better for worse, upon account of the man; and if she is not too much
+damaged, I can have her tolerably repaired, as many a fine woman is, by a
+skillful hand here; but then I expect that the lady should be, in a
+manner, thrown into the bargain with the man; and, in this state of
+affairs, the woman being worth little or nothing, I will not go above
+fourscore Louis for the two together. As for the Rembrandt you mention,
+though it is very cheap, if good, I do not care for it. I love 'la belle
+nature'; Rembrandt paints caricatures. Now for your own commissions,
+which you seem to have forgotten. You mention nothing of the patterns
+which you received by Monsieur Tollot, though I told you in a former
+letter, which you must have had before the date of your last, that I
+should stay till I received the patterns pitched upon by your ladies; for
+as to the instructions which you sent me in Madame Monconseil's hand, I
+could find no mohairs in London that exactly answered that description; I
+shall, therefore, wait till you send me (which you may easily do in a
+letter) the patterns chosen by your three graces.
+
+I would, by all means, have you go now and then, for two or three days,
+to Marechal Coigny's, at Orli; it is but a proper civility to that
+family, which has been particularly civil to you; and, moreover, I would
+have you familiarize yourself with, and learn the interior and domestic
+manners of, people of that rank and fashion. I also desire that you will
+frequent Versailles and St. Cloud, at both of which courts you have been
+received with distinction. Profit of that distinction, and familiarize
+yourself at both. Great courts are the seats of true good-breeding; you
+are to live at courts, lose no time in learning them. Go and stay
+sometimes at Versailles for three or four days, where you will be
+domestic in the best families, by means of your friend Madame de
+Puisieux; and mine, l'Abbe de la Ville. Go to the King's and the
+Dauphin's levees, and distinguish yourself from the rest of your
+countrymen, who, I dare say, never go there when they can help it. Though
+the young Frenchmen of fashion may not be worth forming intimate
+connections with, they are well worth making acquaintance of; and I do
+not see how you can avoid it, frequenting so many good French houses as
+you do, where, to be sure, many of them come. Be cautious how you
+contract friendships, but be desirous, and even industrious, to obtain a
+universal acquaintance. Be easy, and even forward, in making new
+acquaintances; that is the only way of knowing manners and characters in
+general, which is, at present, your great object. You are 'enfant de
+famille' in three ministers' houses; but I wish you had a footing, at
+least, in thirteen and that, I should think, you might easily bring
+about, by that common chain, which, to a certain degree, connects those
+you do not with those you do know.
+
+For instance, I suppose that neither Lord Albemarle, nor Marquis de St.
+Germain, would make the least difficulty to present you to Comte Caunitz,
+the Nuncio, etc. 'Il faut etre rompu du monde', which can only be done by
+an extensive, various, and almost universal acquaintance.
+
+When you have got your emaciated Philomath, I desire that his triangles,
+rhomboids, etc., may not keep you one moment out of the good company you
+would otherwise be in. Swallow all your learning in the morning, but
+digest it in company in the evenings. The reading of ten new characters
+is more your business now, than the reading of twenty old books; showish
+and shining people always get the better of all others, though ever so
+solid. If you would be a great man in the world when you are old, shine
+and be showish in it while you are young, know everybody, and endeavor to
+please everybody, I mean exteriorly; for fundamentally it is impossible.
+Try to engage the heart of every woman, and the affections of almost
+every man you meet with. Madame Monconseil assures me that you are most
+surprisingly improved in your air, manners, and address: go on, my dear
+child, and never think that you are come to a sufficient degree of
+perfection; 'Nil actum reputans, si quid superesset agendum'; and in
+those shining parts of the character of a gentleman, there is always
+something remaining to be acquired. Modes and manners vary in different
+places, and at different times; you must keep pace with them, know them,
+and adopt them, wherever you find them. The great usage of the world, the
+knowledge of characters, the brillant dun 'galant homme,' is all that you
+now want. Study Marcel and the 'beau monde' with great application, but
+read Homer and Horace only when you have nothing else to do. Pray who is
+'la belle Madame de Case', whom I know you frequent? I like the epithet
+given her very well: if she deserves it, she deserves your attention too.
+A man of fashion should be gallant to a fine woman, though he does not
+make love to her, or may be otherwise engaged. On 'lui doit des
+politesses, on fait l'eloge de ses charmes, et il n'en est ni plus ni
+moins pour cela': it pleases, it flatters; you get their good word, and
+you lose nothing by it. These 'gentillesses' should be accompanied, as
+indeed everything else should, with an air: 'un air, un ton de douceur et
+de politesse'. Les graces must be of the party, or it will never do; and
+they are so easily had, that it is astonishing to me that everybody has
+them not; they are sooner gained than any woman of common reputation and
+decency. Pursue them but with care and attention, and you are sure to
+enjoy them at last: without them, I am sure, you will never enjoy anybody
+else. You observe, truly, that Mr.------is gauche; it is to be hoped that
+will mend with keeping company; and is yet pardonable in him, as just
+come from school. But reflect what you would think of a man, who had been
+any time in the world, and yet should be so awkward. For God's sake,
+therefore, now think of nothing but shining, and even distinguishing
+yourself in the most polite courts, by your air, your address, your
+manners, your politeness, your 'douceur', your graces. With those
+advantages (and not without them) take my word for it, you will get the
+better of all rivals, in business as well as in 'ruelles'. Adieu. Send me
+your patterns, by the next post, and also your instructions to Grevenkop
+about the seal, which you seem to have forgotten.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLIII
+
+LONDON, May 16, O. S. 1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: In about three months from this day, we shall probably
+meet. I look upon that moment as a young woman does upon her bridal
+night; I expect the greatest pleasure, and yet cannot help fearing some
+little mixture of pain. My reason bids me doubt a little, of what my
+imagination makes me expect. In some articles I am very sure that my most
+sanguine wishes will not be disappointed; and those are the most material
+ones. In others, I fear something or other, which I can better feel than
+describe. However, I will attempt it. I fear the want of that amiable and
+engaging 'je ne sais quoi', which as some philosophers have,
+unintelligibly enough, said of the soul, is all in all, and all in every
+part; it should shed its influence over every word and action. I fear the
+want of that air, and first 'abord', which suddenly lays hold of the
+heart, one does not know distinctly how or why. I fear an inaccuracy, or,
+at least, inelegance of diction, which will wrong, and lower, the best
+and justest matter. And, lastly, I fear an ungraceful, if not an
+unpleasant utterance, which would disgrace and vilify the whole. Should
+these fears be at present founded, yet the objects of them are (thank
+God) of such a nature, that you may, if you please, between this and our
+meeting, remove everyone of them. All these engaging and endearing
+accomplishments are mechanical, and to be acquired by care and
+observation, as easily as turning, or any mechanical trade. A common
+country fellow, taken from the plow, and enlisted in an old corps, soon
+lays aside his shambling gait, his slouching air, his clumsy and awkward
+motions: and acquires the martial air, the regular motions, and whole
+exercise of the corps, and particularly of his right and left hand man.
+How so? Not from his parts; which were just the same before as after he
+was enlisted; but either from a commendable ambition of being like, and
+equal to those he is to live with; or else from the fear of being
+punished for not being so. If then both or either of these motives change
+such a fellow, in about six months' time, to such a degree, as that he is
+not to be known again, how much stronger should both these motives be
+with you, to acquire, in the utmost perfection, the whole exercise of the
+people of fashion, with whom you are to live all your life? Ambition
+should make you resolve to be at least their equal in that exercise, as
+well as the fear of punishment; which most inevitably will attend the
+want of it. By that exercise, I mean the air, the manners, the graces,
+and the style of people of fashion. A friend of yours, in a letter I
+received from him by the last post, after some other commendations of
+you, says, "It is surprising that, thinking with so much solidity as he
+does, and having so true and refined a taste, he should express himself
+with so little elegance and delicacy. He even totally neglects the choice
+of words and turn of phrases."
+
+This I should not be so much surprised or concerned at, if it related
+only to the English language; which hitherto you have had no opportunity
+of studying, and but few of speaking, at least to those who could correct
+your inaccuracies. But if you do not express yourself elegantly and
+delicately in French and German, (both which languages I know you possess
+perfectly and speak eternally) it can be only from an unpardonable
+inattention to what you most erroneously think a little object, though,
+in truth, it is one of the most important of your life. Solidity and
+delicacy of thought must be given us: it cannot be acquired, though it
+may be improved; but elegance and delicacy of expression may be acquired
+by whoever will take the necessary care and pains. I am sure you love me
+so well; that you would be very sorry when we meet, that I should be
+either disappointed or mortified; and I love you so well, that I assure
+you I should be both, if I should find you want any of those exterior
+accomplishments which are the indispensably necessary steps to that
+figure and fortune, which I so earnestly wish you may one day make in the
+world.
+
+I hope you do not neglect your exercises of riding, fencing, and dancing,
+but particularly the latter: for they all concur to 'degourdir', and to
+give a certain air. To ride well, is not only a proper and graceful
+accomplishment for a gentleman, but may also save you many a fall
+hereafter; to fence well, may possibly save your life; and to dance well,
+is absolutely necessary in order to sit, stand, and walk well. To tell
+you the truth, my friend, I have some little suspicion that you now and
+then neglect or omit your exercises, for more serious studies. But now
+'non est his locus', everything has its time; and this is yours for your
+exercises; for when you return to Paris I only propose your continuing
+your dancing; which you shall two years longer, if you happen to be where
+there is a good dancing-master. Here I will see you take some lessons
+with your old master Desnoyers, who is our Marcel.
+
+What says Madame du Pin to you? I am told she is very handsome still; I
+know she was some few years ago. She has good parts, reading, manners,
+and delicacy: such an arrangement would be both creditable and
+advantageous to you. She will expect to meet with all the good-breeding
+and delicacy that she brings; and as she is past the glare and 'eclat' of
+youth, may be the more willing to listen to your story, if you tell it
+well. For an attachment, I should prefer her to 'la petite Blot'; and,
+for a mere gallantry, I should prefer 'la petite Blot' to her; so that
+they are consistent, et 'l'un n'emplche pas l'autre'. Adieu. Remember 'la
+douceur et les graces'.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLIV
+
+LONDON, May 23, O. S. 1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: I have this moment received your letter of the 25th N.
+S., and being rather something more attentive to my commissions than you
+are to yours, return you this immediate answer to the question you ask me
+about the two pictures: I will not give one livre more than what I told
+you in my last; having no sort of occasion for them, and not knowing very
+well where to put them if I had them.
+
+I wait with impatience for your final orders about the mohairs; the
+mercer persecuting me every day for three pieces which I thought pretty,
+and which I have kept by me eventually, to secure them in case your
+ladies should pitch upon them.
+
+If I durst! what should hinder you from daring? One always dares if there
+are hopes of success; and even if there are none, one is no loser by
+daring. A man of fashion knows how, and when, to dare. He begins his
+approaches by distant attacks, by assiduities, and by attentions. If he
+is not immediately and totally repulsed, he continues to advance. After
+certain steps success is infallible; and none but very silly fellows can
+then either doubt, or not attempt it. Is it the respectable character of
+Madame de la Valiere which prevents your daring, or are you intimidated
+at the fierce virtue of Madame du Pin? Does the invincible modesty of the
+handsome Madame Case discourage, more than her beauty invites you? Fie,
+for shame! Be convinced that the most virtuous woman, far from being
+offended at a declaration of love, is flattered by it, if it is made in a
+polite and agreeable manner. It is possible that she may not be
+propitious to your vows; that is to say, if she has a liking or a passion
+for another person. But, at all events, she will not be displeased with
+you for it; so that, as there is no danger, this cannot even be called
+daring. But if she attends, if she listens, and allows you to repeat your
+declaration, be persuaded that if you do not dare all the rest, she will
+laugh at you. I advise you to begin rather by Madame du Pin, who has
+still more than beauty enough for such a youngster as you. She has,
+besides, knowledge of the world, sense, and delicacy. As she is not so
+extremely young, the choice of her lovers cannot be entirely at her
+option. I promise you, she will not refuse the tender of your most humble
+services. Distinguish her, then, by attentions and by tender looks. Take
+favorable opportunities of whispering that you wish esteem and friendship
+were the only motives of your regard for her; but that it derives from
+sentiments of a much more tender nature: that you made not this
+declaration without pain; but that the concealing your passion was a
+still greater torment.
+
+I am sensible, that in saying this for the first time, you will look
+silly, abashed, and even express yourself very ill. So much the better;
+for, instead of attributing your confusion to the little usage you have
+of the world, particularly in these sort of subjects, she will think that
+excess of love is the occasion of it. In such a case, the lover's best
+friend is self-love. Do not then be afraid; behave gallantly. Speak well,
+and you will be heard. If you are not listened to the first time, try a
+second, a third, and a fourth. If the place is not already taken, depend
+upon it, it may be conquered.
+
+I am very glad you are going to Orli, and from thence to St. Cloud; go to
+both, and to Versailles also, often. It is that interior domestic
+familiarity with people of fashion, that alone can give you 'l'usage du
+monde, et les manieres aisees'. It is only with women one loves, or men
+one respects, that the desire of pleasing exerts itself; and without the
+desire of pleasing no man living can please. Let that desire be the
+spring of all your words and actions. That happy talent, the art of
+pleasing, which so few do, though almost all might possess, is worth all
+your learning and knowledge put together. The latter can never raise you
+high without the former; but the former may carry you, as it has carried
+thousands, a great way without the latter.
+
+I am glad that you dance so well, as to be reckoned by Marcel among his
+best scholars; go on, and dance better still. Dancing well is pleasing
+'pro tanto', and makes a part of that necessary whole, which is composed
+of a thousand parts, many of them of 'les infiniment petits quoi
+qu'infiniment necessaires'.
+
+I shall never have done upon this subject which is indispensably
+necessary toward your making any figure or fortune in the world; both
+which I have set my heart upon, and for both which you now absolutely
+want no one thing but the art of pleasing; and I must not conceal from
+you that you have still a good way to go before you arrive at it. You
+still want a thousand of those little attentions that imply a desire of
+pleasing: you want a 'douceur' of air and expression that engages: you
+want an elegance and delicacy of expression, necessary to adorn the best
+sense and most solid matter: in short, you still want a great deal of the
+'brillant' and the 'poli'. Get them at any rate: sacrifice hecatombs of
+books to them: seek for them in company, and renounce your closet till
+you have got them. I never received the letter you refer to, if ever you
+wrote it. Adieu, et bon soir, Monseigneur.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLV
+
+GREENWICH, June 6, O. S. 1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: Solicitous and anxious as I have ever been to form your
+heart, your mind, and your manners, and to bring you as near perfection
+as the imperfection of our natures will allow, I have exhausted, in the
+course of our correspondence, all that my own mind could suggest, and
+have borrowed from others whatever I thought could be useful to you; but
+this has necessarily been interruptedly and by snatches. It is now time,
+and you are of an age to review and to weigh in your own mind all that
+you have heard, and all that you have read, upon these subjects; and to
+form your own character, your conduct, and your manners, for the rest of
+your life; allowing for such improvements as a further knowledge of the
+world will naturally give you. In this view I would recommend to you to
+read, with the greatest attention, such books as treat particularly of
+those subjects; reflecting seriously upon them, and then comparing the
+speculation with the practice.
+
+For example, if you read in the morning some of La Rochefoucault's
+maxims; consider them, examine them well, and compare them with the real
+characters you meet with in the evening. Read La Bruyere in the morning,
+and see in the evening whether his pictures are like. Study the heart and
+the mind of man, and begin with your own. Meditation and reflection must
+lay the foundation of that knowledge: but experience and practice must,
+and alone can, complete it. Books, it is true, point out the operations
+of the mind, the sentiments of the heart, the influence of the passions;
+and so far they are of previous use: but without subsequent practice,
+experience, and observation, they are as ineffectual, and would even lead
+you into as many errors in fact, as a map would do, if you were to take
+your notions of the towns and provinces from their delineations in it. A
+man would reap very little benefit by his travels, if he made them only
+in his closet upon a map of the whole world. Next to the two books that I
+have already mentioned, I do not know a better for you to read, and
+seriously reflect upon, than 'Avis d'une Mere d'un Fils, par la Marquise
+de Lambert'. She was a woman of a superior understanding and knowledge of
+the world, had always kept the best company, was solicitous that her son
+should make a figure and a fortune in the world, and knew better than
+anybody how to point out the means. It is very short, and will take you
+much less time to read, than you ought to employ in reflecting upon it,
+after you have read it. Her son was in the army, she wished he might rise
+there; but she well knew, that, in order to rise, he must first please:
+she says to him, therefore, With regard to those upon whom you depend,
+the chief merit is to please. And, in another place, in subaltern
+employments, the art of pleasing must be your support. Masters are like
+mistresses: whatever services they may be indebted to you for, they cease
+to love when you cease to be agreeable. This, I can assure you, is at
+least as true in courts as in camps, and possibly more so. If to your
+merit and knowledge you add the art of pleasing, you may very probably
+come in time to be Secretary of State; but, take my word for it, twice
+your merit and knowledge, without the art of pleasing, would, at most,
+raise you to the IMPORTANT POST of Resident at Hamburgh or Ratisbon. I
+need not tell you now, for I often have, and your own discernment must
+have told you, of what numberless little ingredients that art of pleasing
+is compounded, and how the want of the least of them lowers the whole;
+but the principal ingredient is, undoubtedly, 'la douceur dans le
+manieres': nothing will give you this more than keeping company with your
+superiors. Madame Lambert tells her son, Let your connections be with
+people above you; by that means you will acquire a habit of respect and
+politeness. With one's equals, one is apt to become negligent, and the
+mind grows torpid. She advises him, too, to frequent those people, and to
+see their inside; In order to judge of men, one must be intimately
+connected; thus you see them without, a veil, and with their mere
+every-day merit. A happy expression! It was for this reason that I have
+so often advised you to establish and domesticate yourself, wherever you
+can, in good houses of people above you, that you may see their EVERY-DAY
+character, manners, habits, etc. One must see people undressed to judge
+truly of their shape; when they are dressed to go abroad, their clothes
+are contrived to conceal, or at least palliate the defects of it: as
+full-bottomed wigs were contrived for the Duke of Burgundy, to conceal
+his hump back. Happy those who have no faults to disguise, nor weaknesses
+to conceal! there are few, if any such; but unhappy those who know little
+enough of the world to judge by outward appearances. Courts are the best
+keys to characters; there every passion is busy, every art exerted, every
+character analyzed; jealousy, ever watchful, not only discovers, but
+exposes, the mysteries of the trade, so that even bystanders 'y
+apprennent a deviner'. There too the great art of pleasing is practiced,
+taught, and learned with all its graces and delicacies. It is the first
+thing needful there: It is the absolutely necessary harbinger of merit
+and talents, let them be ever so great. There is no advancing a step
+without it. Let misanthropes and would-be philosophers declaim as much as
+they please against the vices, the simulation, and dissimulation of
+courts; those invectives are always the result of ignorance, ill-humor,
+or envy. Let them show me a cottage, where there are not the same vices
+of which they accuse courts; with this difference only, that in a cottage
+they appear in their native deformity, and that in courts, manners and
+good-breeding make them less shocking, and blunt their edge. No, be
+convinced that the good-breeding, the 'tournure, la douceur dans les
+manieres', which alone are to be acquired at courts, are not the showish
+trifles only which some people call or think them; they are a solid good;
+they prevent a great deal of real mischief; they create, adorn, and
+strengthen friendships; they keep hatred within bounds; they promote
+good-humor and good-will in families, where the want of good-breeding and
+gentleness of manners is commonly the original cause of discord. Get
+then, before it is too late, a habit of these 'mitiores virtutes':
+practice them upon every the least occasion, that they may be easy and
+familiar to you upon the greatest; for they lose a great degree of their
+merit if they seem labored, and only called in upon extraordinary
+occasions. I tell you truly, this is now the only doubtful part of your
+character with me; and it is for that reason that I dwell upon it so
+much, and inculcate it so often. I shall soon see whether this doubt of
+mine is founded; or rather I hope I shall soon see that it is not.
+
+This moment I receive your letter of the 9th N. S. I am sorry to find
+that you have had, though ever so slight a return of your Carniolan
+disorder; and I hope your conclusion will prove a true one, and that this
+will be the last. I will send the mohairs by the first opportunity. As
+for the pictures, I am already so full, that I am resolved not to buy one
+more, unless by great accident I should meet with something surprisingly
+good, and as surprisingly cheap.
+
+I should have thought that Lord-------, at his age, and with his parts
+and address, need not have been reduced to keep an opera w---e, in such a
+place as Paris, where so many women of fashion generously serve as
+volunteers. I am still more sorry that he is in love with her; for that
+will take him out of good company, and sink him into bad; such as
+fiddlers, pipers, and 'id genus omne'; most unedifying and unbecoming
+company for a man of fashion!
+
+Lady Chesterfield makes you a thousand compliments. Adieu, my dear child.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLVI
+
+GREENWICH, June 10, O. S. 1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: Your ladies were so slow in giving their specific orders,
+that the mohairs, of which you at last sent me the patterns, were all
+sold. However, to prevent further delays (for ladies are apt to be very
+impatient, when at last they know their own minds), I have taken the
+quantities desired of three mohairs which come nearest to the description
+you sent me some time ago, in Madame Monconseil's own hand; and I will
+send them to Calais by the first opportunity. In giving 'la petite Blot'
+her piece, you have a fine occasion of saying fine things, if so
+inclined.
+
+Lady Hervey, who is your puff and panegyrist, writes me word that she saw
+you lately dance at a ball, and that you dance very genteelly. I am
+extremely glad to hear it; for (by the maxim, that 'omne majus continet
+in se minus'), if you dance genteelly, I presume you walk, sit, and stand
+genteelly too; things which are much more easy, though much more
+necessary, than dancing well. I have known many very genteel people, who
+could not dance well; but I never knew anybody dance very well, who was
+not genteel in other things. You will probably often have occasion to
+stand in circles, at the levees of princes and ministers, when it is very
+necessary 'de payer de sa personne, et d'etre bien plante', with your
+feet not too near nor too distant from each other. More people stand and
+walk, than sit genteelly. Awkward, ill-bred people, being ashamed,
+commonly sit bolt upright and stiff; others, too negligent and easy, 'se
+vautrent dans leur fauteuil', which is ungraceful and ill-bred, unless
+where the familiarity is extreme; but a man of fashion makes himself
+easy, and appears so by leaning gracefully instead of lolling supinely;
+and by varying those easy attitudes instead of that stiff immobility of a
+bashful booby. You cannot conceive, nor can I express, how advantageous a
+good air, genteel motions, and engaging address are, not only among
+women, but among men, and even in the course of business; they fascinate
+the affections, they steal a preference, they play about the heart till
+they engage it. I know a man, and so do you, who, without a grain of
+merit, knowledge, or talents, has raised himself millions of degrees
+above his level, simply by a good air and engaging manners; insomuch that
+the very Prince who raised him so high, calls him, 'mon aimable
+vaut-rien';--[The Marichal de Richelieu.]--but of this do not open your
+lips, 'pour cause'. I give you this secret as the strongest proof
+imaginable of the efficacy of air, address, 'tournure, et tout ces Petits
+riens'.
+
+Your other puff and panegyrist, Mr. Harte, is gone to Windsor in his way
+to Cornwall, in order to be back soon enough to meet you here: I really
+believe he is as impatient for that moment as I am, 'et c'est tout dire':
+but, however, notwithstanding my impatience, if by chance you should then
+be in a situation, that leaving Paris would cost your heart too many
+pangs, I allow you to put off your journey, and to tell me, as Festus did
+Paul, AT A MORE CONVENIENT SEASON I WILL SPEAK TO THEE. You see by this
+that I eventually sacrifice my sentiments to yours, and this in a very
+uncommon object of paternal complaisance. Provided always, and be it
+understood (as they say in acts of Parliament), that 'quae te cumque
+domat Venus, non erubescendis adurit ignibus'. If your heart will let you
+come, bring with you only your valet de chambre, Christian, and your own
+footman; not your valet de place, whom you may dismiss for the time, as
+also your coach; but you had best keep on your lodgings, the intermediate
+expense of which will be but inconsiderable, and you will want them to
+leave your books and baggage in. Bring only the clothes you travel in,
+one suit of black, for the mourning for the Prince will not be quite out
+by that time, and one suit of your fine clothes, two or three of your
+laced shirts, and the rest plain ones; of other things, as bags,
+feathers, etc., as you think proper. Bring no books, unless two or three
+for your' amusement upon the road; for we must apply simply to English,
+in which you are certainly no 'puriste'; and I will supply you
+sufficiently with the proper English authors. I shall probably keep you
+here till about the middle of October, and certainly not longer; it being
+absolutely necessary for you to pass the next winter at Paris; so that;
+should any fine eyes shed tears for your departure, you may dry them by
+the promise of your return in two months.
+
+Have you got a master for geometry? If the weather is very hot, you may
+leave your riding at the 'manege' till you return to Paris, unless you
+think the exercise does you more good than the heat can do you harm; but
+I desire you will not leave off Marcel for one moment; your fencing
+likewise, if you have a mind, may subside for the summer; but you will do
+well to resume it in the winter and to be adroit at it, but by no means
+for offense, only for defense in case of necessity. Good night. Yours.
+
+P. S. I forgot to give you one commission, when you come here; which is,
+not to fail bringing the GRACES along with you.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLVII
+
+GREENWICH, June 13, O. S. 1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: 'Les bienseances'--[This single word implies decorum,
+good-breeding, and propriety]--are a most necessary part of the knowledge
+of the world. They consist in the relations of persons, things, time, and
+place; good sense points them out, good company perfects them ( supposing
+always an attention and a desire to please), and good policy recommends
+them.
+
+Were you to converse with a king, you ought to be as easy and
+unembarrassed as with your own valet de chambre; but yet, every look,
+word and action, should imply the utmost respect. What would be proper
+and well-bred with others, much your superiors, would be absurd and
+ill-bred with one so very much so. You must wait till you are spoken to;
+you must receive, not give, the subject of conversation; and you must
+even take care that the given subject of such conversation do not lead
+you into any impropriety. The art would be to carry it, if possible, to
+some indirect flattery; such as commending those virtues in some other
+person, in which that prince either thinks he does, or at least would be
+thought by others to excel. Almost the same precautions are necessary to
+be used with ministers, generals, etc., who expect to be treated with
+very near the same respect as their masters, and commonly deserve it
+better. There is, however, this difference, that one may begin the
+conversation with them, if on their side it should happen to drop,
+provided one does not carry it to any subject upon which it is improper
+either for them to speak, or be spoken to. In these two cases, certain
+attitudes and actions would be extremely absurd, because too easy, and
+consequently disrespectful. As, for instance, if you were to put your
+arms across in your bosom, twirl your snuff-box, trample with your feet,
+scratch your head, etc., it would be shockingly ill-bred in that company;
+and, indeed, not extremely well-bred in any other. The great difficulty
+in those cases, though a very surmountable one by attention and custom,
+is to join perfect inward ease with perfect outward respect.
+
+In mixed companies with your equals (for in mixed companies all people
+are to a certain degree equal), greater ease and liberty are allowed; but
+they too have their bounds within 'bienseance'. There is a social respect
+necessary: you may start your own subject of conversation with modesty,
+taking great care, however, 'de ne jamais parler de cordes dans la
+maison d'un pendu.--[Never to mention a rope in the family of a man who
+has been hanged]--Your words, gestures, and attitudes, have a greater
+degree of latitude, though by no means an unbounded one. You may have
+your hands in your pockets, take snuff, sit, stand, or occasionally walk,
+as you like; but I believe you would not think it very 'bienseant' to
+whistle, put on your hat, loosen your garters or your buckles, lie down
+upon a couch, or go to bed, and welter in an easychair. These are
+negligences and freedoms which one can only take when quite alone; they
+are injurious to superiors, shocking and offensive to equals, brutal and
+insulting to inferiors. That easiness of carriage and behavior, which is
+exceedingly engaging, widely differs from negligence and inattention, and
+by no means implies that one may do whatever one pleases; it only means
+that one is not to be stiff, formal, embarrassed, disconcerted, and
+ashamed, like country bumpkins, and, people who have never been in good
+company; but it requires great attention to, and a scrupulous observation
+of 'les bienseances': whatever one ought to do, is to be done with ease
+and unconcern; whatever is improper must not be done at all. In mixed
+companies also, different ages and sexes are to be differently addressed.
+You would not talk of your pleasures to men of a certain age, gravity,
+and dignity; they justly expect from young people a degree of deference
+and regard. You should be full as easy with them as with people of your
+own years: but your manner must be different; more respect must be
+implied; and it is not amiss to insinuate that from them you expect to
+learn. It flatters and comforts age for not being able to take a part in
+the joy and titter of youth. To women you should always address yourself
+with great outward respect and attention, whatever you feel inwardly;
+their sex is by long prescription entitled to it; and it is among the
+duties of 'bienseance'; at the same time that respect is very properly
+and very agreeably mixed with a degree of 'enjouement', if you have it;
+but then, that badinage must either directly or indirectly tend to their
+praise, and even not be liable to a malicious construction to their
+disadvantage. But here, too, great attention must be had to the
+difference of age, rank, and situation. A 'marechale' of fifty must not
+be played with like a young coquette of fifteen; respect and serious
+'enjouement', if I may couple those two words, must be used with the
+former, and mere 'badinage, zeste meme d'un peu de polissonerie', is
+pardonable with the latter.
+
+Another important point of 'les bienseances', seldom enough attended to,
+is, not to run your own present humor and disposition indiscriminately
+against everybody, but to observe, conform to, and adopt them. For
+example, if you happened to be in high good humor and a flow of spirits,
+would you go and sing a 'pont neuf',--[a ballad]--or cut a caper, to la
+Marechale de Coigny, the Pope's nuncio, or Abbe Sallier, or to any person
+of natural gravity and melancholy, or who at that time should be in
+grief? I believe not; as, on the other hand, I suppose, that if you were
+in low spirits or real grief, you would not choose to bewail your
+situation with 'la petite Blot'. If you cannot command your present humor
+and disposition, single out those to converse with, who happen to be in
+the humor the nearest to your own.
+
+Loud laughter is extremely inconsistent with 'les bienseances', as it is
+only the illiberal and noisy testimony of the joy of the mob at some very
+silly thing. A gentleman is often seen, but very seldom heard to laugh.
+Nothing is more contrary to 'les bienseances' than horse-play, or 'jeux
+de main' of any kind whatever, and has often very serious, sometimes very
+fatal consequences. Romping, struggling, throwing things at one another's
+head, are the becoming pleasantries of the mob, but degrade a gentleman:
+'giuoco di mano, giuoco di villano', is a very true saying, among the few
+true sayings of the Italians.
+
+Peremptoriness and decision in young people is 'contraire aux
+bienseances', and they should seldom seem to assert, and always use some
+softening mitigating expression; such as, 's'il m'est permis de le dire,
+je croirais plutot, si j'ose m'expliquer', which soften the manner,
+without giving up or even weakening the thing. People of more age and
+experience expect, and are entitled to, that degree of deference.
+
+There is a 'bienseance' also with regard to people of the lowest degree:
+a gentleman observes it with his footman--even with the beggar in the
+street. He considers them as objects of compassion, not of insult; he
+speaks to neither 'd'un ton brusque', but corrects the one coolly, and
+refuses the other with humanity. There is one occasion in the world in
+which 'le ton brusque' is becoming a gentleman. In short, 'les
+bienseances' are another word for MANNERS, and extend to every part of
+life. They are propriety; the Graces should attend, in order to complete
+them; the Graces enable us to do, genteelly and pleasingly, what 'les
+bienseances' require to be done at all. The latter are an obligation upon
+every man; the former are an infinite advantage and ornament to any man.
+May you unite both!
+
+Though you dance well, do not think that you dance well enough, and
+consequently not endeavor to dance still better. And though you should be
+told that you are genteel, still aim at being genteeler. If Marcel
+should, do not you be satisfied. Go on, court the Graces all your
+lifetime; you will find no better friends at court: they will speak in
+your favor, to the hearts of princes, ministers, and mistresses.
+
+Now that all tumultuous passions and quick sensations have subsided with
+me, and that I have no tormenting cares nor boisterous pleasures to
+agitate me, my greatest joy is to consider the fair prospect you have
+before you, and to hope and believe you will enjoy it. You are already in
+the world, at an age when others have hardly heard of it. Your character
+is hitherto not only unblemished in its mortal part, but even unsullied
+by any low, dirty, and ungentleman-like vice; and will, I hope, continue
+so. Your knowledge is sound, extensive and avowed, especially in
+everything relative to your destination. With such materials to begin
+with, what then is wanting! Not fortune, as you have found by experience.
+You have had, and shall have, fortune sufficient to assist your merit and
+your industry; and if I can help it, you never shall have enough to make
+you negligent of either. You have, too, 'mens sana in corpore sano', the
+greatest blessing of all. All, therefore, that you want is as much in
+your power to acquire, as to eat your breakfast when set before you; it
+is only that knowledge of the world, that elegance of manners, that
+universal politeness, and those graces which keeping good company, and
+seeing variety of places and characters, must inevitably, with the least
+attention on your part, give you. Your foreign destination leads to the
+greatest things, and your parliamentary situation will facilitate your
+progress. Consider, then, this pleasing prospect as attentively for
+yourself as I consider it for you. Labor on your part to realize it, as I
+will on mine to assist, and enable you to do it. 'Nullum numen abest, si
+sit prudentia'.
+
+Adieu, my dear child! I count the days till I have the pleasure of seeing
+you; I shall soon count the hours, and at last the minutes, with
+increasing impatience.
+
+P. S. The mohairs are this day gone from hence for Calais, recommended to
+the care of Madame Morel, and directed, as desired, to the
+Comptroller-general. The three pieces come to six hundred and eighty
+French livres.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLVIII
+
+GREENWICH, June 20, O. S. 1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: So very few people, especially young travelers, see what
+they see, or hear what they hear, that though I really believe it may be
+unnecessary with you, yet there can be no harm in reminding you, from
+time to time, to see what you see, and to hear what you hear; that is, to
+see and hear as you should do. Frivolous, futile people, who make at
+least three parts in four of mankind, only desire to see and hear what
+their frivolous and futile precursors have seen and heard: as St.
+Peter's, the Pope, and High Mass, at Rome; Notre Dame, Versailles, the
+French King, and the French Comedy, in France. A man of parts sees and
+hears very differently from these gentlemen, and a great deal more. He
+examines and informs himself thoroughly of everything he sees or hears;
+and, more particularly, as it is relative to his own profession or
+destination. Your destination is political; the object, therefore, of
+your inquiries and observations should be the political interior of
+things; the forms of government, laws, regulations, customs, trade,
+manufactures, etc., of the several nations of Europe. This knowledge is
+much better acquired by conversation with sensible and well-informed
+people, than by books, the best of which upon these subjects are always
+imperfect. For example, there are "Present States" of France, as there
+are of England; but they are always defective, being published by people
+uninformed, who only copy one another; they are, however, worth looking
+into because they point out objects for inquiry, which otherwise might
+possibly never have occurred to one's mind; but an hour's conversation
+with a sensible president or 'conseiller' will let you more into the true
+state of the parliament of Paris, than all the books in France. In the
+same manner, the 'Almanack Militaire' is worth your having; but two or
+three conversations with officers will inform you much better of their
+military regulations. People have, commonly, a partiality for their own
+professions, love to talk of them, and are even flattered by being
+consulted upon the subject; when, therefore, you are with any of those
+military gentlemen (and you can hardly be in any company without some),
+ask them military questions, inquire into their methods of discipline,
+quartering, and clothing their men; inform yourself of their pay, their
+perquisites, 'lours montres, lours etapes', etc. Do the same as to the
+marine, and make yourself particularly master of that detail; which has,
+and always will have, a great relation to the affairs of England; and, in
+proportion as you get good informations, take minutes of them in writing.
+
+The regulations of trade and commerce in France are excellent, as appears
+but too plainly for us, by the great increase of both, within these
+thirty years; for not to mention their extensive commerce in both the
+East and West Indies, they have got the whole trade of the Levant from
+us; and now supply all the foreign markets with their sugars, to the ruin
+almost of our sugar colonies, as Jamaica, Barbadoes, and the Leeward
+Islands. Get, therefore, what informations you can of these matters also.
+
+Inquire too into their church matters; for which the present disputes
+between the court and the clergy give you fair and frequent
+opportunities. Know the particular rights of the Gallican church, in
+opposition to the pretensions of the See of Rome. I need not recommend
+ecclesiastical history to you, since I hear that you study 'Du Pin' very
+assiduously.
+
+You cannot imagine how much this solid and useful knowledge of other
+countries will distinguish you in your own (where, to say the truth, it
+is very little known or cultivated), besides the great use it is of in
+all foreign negotiations; not to mention that it enables a man to shine
+in all companies. When kings and princes have any knowledge, it is of
+this sort, and more particularly; and therefore it is the usual topic of
+their levee conversations, in which it will qualify you to bear a
+considerable part; it brings you more acquainted with them; and they are
+pleased to have people talk to them on a subject in which they think to
+shine.
+
+There is a sort of chit-chat, or SMALL TALK, which is the general run of
+conversation at courts, and in most mixed companies. It is a sort of
+middling conversation, neither silly nor edifying; but, however, very
+necessary for you to become master of. It turns upon the public events of
+Europe, and then is at its best; very often upon the number, the goodness
+or badness, the discipline, or the clothing of the troops of different
+princes; sometimes upon the families, the marriages, the relations of
+princes, and considerable people; and sometimes 'sur le bon chere', the
+magnificence of public entertainments, balls, masquerades, etc. I would
+wish you to be able to talk upon all these things better, and with more
+knowledge than other people; insomuch that upon those occasions, you
+should be applied to, and that people should say, I DARE SAY MR. STANHOPE
+CAN TELL US.
+
+Second-rate knowledge and middling talents carry a man further at courts,
+and in the busy part of the world, than superior knowledge and shining
+parts. Tacitus very justly accounts for a man's having always kept in
+favor and enjoyed the best employments under the tyrannical reigns of
+three or four of the very worst emperors, by saying that it was not
+'propter aliquam eximiam artem, sed quia par negotiis neque supra erat'.
+Discretion is the great article; all these things are to be learned, and
+only learned by keeping a great deal of the best company. Frequent those
+good houses where you have already a footing, and wriggle yourself
+somehow or other into every other. Haunt the courts particularly in order
+to get that ROUTINE.
+
+This moment I receive yours of the 18th N. S. You will have had some time
+ago my final answers concerning the pictures; and, by my last, an account
+that the mohairs were gone to Madame Morel, at Calais, with the proper
+directions.
+
+I am sorry that your two sons-in-law [?? D.W.], the Princes B----, are
+such boobies; however, as they have the honor of being so nearly related
+to you, I will show them what civilities I can.
+
+I confess you have not time for long absences from Paris, at present,
+because of your various masters, all which I would have you apply to
+closely while you are now in that capital; but when you return thither,
+after the visit you intend me the honor of, I do not propose your having
+any master at all, except Marcel, once or twice a week. And then the
+courts will, I hope, be no longer strange countries to you; for I would
+have you run down frequently to Versailles and St. Cloud, for three or
+four days at a time. You know the Abbe de la Ville, who will present you
+to others, so that you will soon be 'faufile' with the rest of the court.
+Court is the soil in which you are to grow and flourish; you ought to be
+well acquainted with the nature of it; like all other soil, it is in some
+places deeper, in others lighter, but always capable of great improvement
+by cultivation and experience.
+
+You say that you want some hints for a letter to Lady Chesterfield; more
+use and knowledge of the world will teach you occasionally to write and
+talk genteelly, 'sup des riens', which I can tell you is a very useful
+part upon worldly knowledge; for in some companies, it would be imprudent
+to talk of anything else; and with very many people it is impossible to
+talk of anything else; they would not understand you. Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLIX
+
+LONDON, June 24, O. S. 1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: Air, address, manners, and graces are of such infinite
+advantage to whoever has them, and so peculiarly and essentially
+necessary for you, that now, as the time of our meeting draws near, I
+tremble for fear I should not find you possessed of them; and, to tell
+you the truth, I doubt you are not yet sufficiently convinced for their
+importance. There is, for instance, your intimate friend, Mr. H-----, who
+with great merit, deep knowledge, and a thousand good qualities, will
+never make a figure in the world while he lives. Why? Merely for want of
+those external and showish accomplishments, which he began the world too
+late to acquire; and which, with his studious and philosophical turn, I
+believe he thinks are not worth his attention. He may, very probably,
+make a figure in the republic of letters, but he had ten thousand times
+better make a figure as a man of the world and of business in the
+republic of the United Provinces, which, take my word for it, he never
+will.
+
+As I open myself, without the least reserve, whenever I think that my
+doing so can be of any use to you, I will give you a short account of
+myself. When I first came into the world, which was at the age you are of
+now, so that, by the way, you have got the start of me in that important
+article by two or three years at least,--at nineteen I left the
+University of Cambridge, where I was an absolute pedant; when I talked my
+best, I quoted Horace; when I aimed at being facetious, I quoted Martial;
+and when I had a mind to be a fine gentleman, I talked Ovid. I was
+convinced that none but the ancients had common sense; that the classics
+contained everything that was either necessary, useful, or ornamental to
+men; and I was not without thoughts of wearing the 'toga virilis' of the
+Romans, instead of the vulgar and illiberal dress of the moderns. With
+these excellent notions I went first to The Hague, where, by the help of
+several letters of recommendation, I was soon introduced into all the
+best company; and where I very soon discovered that I was totally
+mistaken in almost every one notion I had entertained. Fortunately, I had
+a strong desire to please (the mixed result of good-nature and a vanity
+by no means blamable), and was sensible that I had nothing but the
+desire. I therefore resolved, if possible, to acquire the means, too. I
+studied attentively and minutely the dress, the air, the manner, the
+address, and the turn of conversation of all those whom I found to be the
+people in fashion, and most generally allowed to please. I imitated them
+as well as I could; if I heard that one man was reckoned remarkably
+genteel, I carefully watched his dress, motions and attitudes, and formed
+my own upon them. When I heard of another, whose conversation was
+agreeable and engaging, I listened and attended to the turn of it. I
+addressed myself, though 'de tres mauvaise grace', to all the most
+fashionable fine ladies; confessed, and laughed with them at my own
+awkwardness and rawness, recommending myself as an object for them to try
+their skill in forming. By these means, and with a passionate desire of
+pleasing everybody, I came by degrees to please some; and, I can assure
+you, that what little figure I have made in the world, has been much more
+owing to that passionate desire of pleasing universally than to any
+intrinsic merit or sound knowledge I might ever have been master of. My
+passion for pleasing was so strong (and I am very glad it was so), that I
+own to you fairly, I wished to make every woman I saw in love with me,
+and every man I met with admire me. Without this passion for the object,
+I should never have been so attentive to the means; and I own I cannot
+conceive how it is possible for any man of good-nature and good sense to
+be without this passion. Does not good-nature incline us to please all
+those we converse with, of whatever rank or station they may be? And does
+not good sense and common observation, show of what infinite use it is to
+please? Oh! but one may please by the good qualities of the heart, and
+the knowledge of the head, without that fashionable air, address and
+manner, which is mere tinsel. I deny it. A man may be esteemed and
+respected, but I defy him to please without them. Moreover, at your age,
+I would not have contented myself with barely pleasing; I wanted to shine
+and to distinguish myself in the world as a man of fashion and gallantry,
+as well as business. And that ambition or vanity, call it what you
+please, was a right one; it hurt nobody, and made me exert whatever
+talents I had. It is the spring of a thousand right and good things.
+
+I was talking you over the other day with one very much your friend, and
+who had often been with you, both at Paris and in Italy. Among the
+innumerable questions which you may be sure I asked him concerning you, I
+happened to mention your dress (for, to say the truth, it was the only
+thing of which I thought him a competent judge) upon which he said that
+you dressed tolerably well at Paris; but that in Italy you dressed so
+ill, that he used to joke with you upon it, and even to tear your
+clothes. Now, I must tell you, that at your age it is as ridiculous not
+to be very well dressed, as at my age it would be if I were to wear a
+white feather and red-heeled shoes. Dress is one of various ingredients
+that contribute to the art of pleasing; it pleases the eyes at least, and
+more especially of women. Address yourself to the senses, if you would
+please; dazzle the eyes, soothe and flatter the ears of mankind; engage
+their hearts, and let their reason do its worst against you. 'Suaviter in
+modo' is the great secret. Whenever you find yourself engaged insensibly,
+in favor of anybody of no superior merit nor distinguished talents,
+examine, and see what it is that has made those impressions upon you: and
+you will find it to be that 'douceur', that gentleness of manners, that
+air and address, which I have so often recommended to you; and from
+thence draw this obvious conclusion, that what pleases you in them, will
+please others in you; for we are all made of the same clay, though some
+of the lumps are a little finer, and some a little coarser; but in
+general, the surest way to judge of others, is to examine and analyze
+one's self thoroughly. When we meet I will assist you in that analysis,
+in which every man wants some assistance against his own self-love.
+Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CL
+
+GREENWICH, June 30, O. S. 1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: Pray give the inclosed to our friend the Abbe; it is to
+congratulate him upon his 'Canonicat', which I am really very glad of,
+and I hope it will fatten him up to Boileau's 'Chanoine'; at present he
+is as meagre as an apostle or a prophet. By the way, has he ever
+introduced you to la Duchesse d'Aiguillon? If he has not, make him
+present you; and if he has, frequent her, and make her many compliments
+from me. She has uncommon, sense and knowledge for a woman, and her house
+is the resort of one set of 'les beaux esprits. It is a satisfaction and
+a sort of credit to be acquainted with those gentlemen; and it puts a
+young fellow in fashion. 'A propos des beaux esprits', you have 'les
+entries' at Lady Sandwich's; who, old as she was, when I saw her last,
+had the strongest parts of any woman I ever knew in my life? If you are
+not acquainted with her, either the Duchesse d'Aiguillon or Lady Hervey
+can, and I dare say will; introduce you. I can assure you, it is very
+well worth your while, both upon her own account, and for the sake of the
+people of wit and learning who frequent her. In such companies there is
+always something to be learned as well as manners; the conversation turns
+upon something above trifles; some point of literature, criticism,
+history, etc., is discussed with ingenuity and good manners; for I must
+do the French people of learning justice; they are not bears, as most of
+ours are: they are gentlemen.
+
+Our Abbe writes me word that you were gone to Compiegne: I am very glad
+of it; other courts must form you for your own. He tells me too, that you
+have left off riding at the 'manege'; I have no objection to that, it
+takes up a great deal of the morning; and if you have got a genteel and
+firm seat on horseback, it is enough for you, now that tilts and
+tournaments are laid aside. I suppose you have hunted at Compiegne. The
+King's hunting there, I am told, is a fine sight. The French manner of
+hunting is gentlemanlike; ours is only for bumpkins and boobies. The poor
+beasts are here pursued and run down by much greater beasts than
+themselves, and the true British fox-hunter is most undoubtedly a species
+appropriated and peculiar to this country, which no other part of the
+globe produces.
+
+I hope you apply the time you have saved from the riding-house to useful
+more than to learned purposes; for I can assure you they are very
+different things. I would have you allow but one hour a-day for Greek;
+and that more to keep what you have than to increase it: by Greek, I mean
+useful Greek books, such as Demosthenes, Thucydides, etc., and not the
+poets, with whom you are already enough acquainted. Your Latin will take
+care of itself. Whatever more time you may have for reading, pray bestow
+it upon those books which are immediately relative to your destination;
+such as modern history, in the modern languages, memoirs, anecdotes,
+letters, negotiations, etc. Collect also, if you can, authentically, the
+present state of all the courts and countries in Europe, the characters
+of the kings and princes, their wives, their ministers, and their w----s;
+their several views, connections, and interests; the state of their
+FINANCES, their military force, their trade, manufactures, and commerce.
+That is the useful, the necessary knowledge for you, and indeed for every
+gentleman. But with all this, remember, that living books are much better
+than dead ones; and throw away no time (for it is thrown away) with the
+latter, which you can employ well with the former; for books must now be
+your only amusement, but, by no means your business. I had much rather
+that you were passionately in love with some determined coquette of
+condition (who would lead you a dance, fashion, supple, and polish you),
+than that you knew all Plato and Aristotle by heart: an hour at
+Versailles, Compiegne, or St. Cloud, is now worth more to you than three
+hours in your closet, with the best books that ever were written.
+
+I hear the dispute between the court and the clergy is made up amicably,
+both parties have yielded something; the king being afraid of losing more
+of his soul, and the clergy more of their revenue. Those gentlemen are
+very skillful in making the most of the vices and the weaknesses of the
+laity. I hope you have read and informed yourself fully of everything
+relative to that affair; it is a very important question, in which the
+priesthood of every country in Europe is highly concerned. If you would
+be thoroughly convinced that their tithes are of divine institution, and
+their property the property of God himself, not to be touched by any
+power on earth, read Fra Paolo De Beneficiis, an excellent and short
+book; for which, and some other treaties against the court of Rome, he
+was stilettoed; which made him say afterward, upon seeing an anonymous
+book written against him by order of the Pope, 'Conosco bene to stile
+Romano'.
+
+The parliament of Paris, and the states of Languedoc, will, I believe,
+hardly scramble off; having only reason and justice, but no terrors on
+their side. Those are political and constitutional questions that well
+deserve your attention and inquiries. I hope you are thoroughly master of
+them. It is also worth your while to collect and keep all the pieces
+written upon those subjects.
+
+I hope you have been thanked by your ladies, at least, if not paid in
+money, for the mohairs, which I sent by a courier to Paris, some time
+ago, instead of sending them to Madame Morel, at Calais, as I told you I
+should. Do they like them; and do they like you the better for getting
+them? 'Le petite Blot devroit au moins payer de sa personne'. As for
+Madame de Polignac, I believe you will very willingly hold her excused
+from personal payment.
+
+Before you return to England, pray go again to Orli, for two or three
+days, and also to St. Cloud, in order to secure a good reception there at
+your return. Ask the Marquis de Matignon too, if he has any orders for
+you in England, or any letters or packets for Lord Bolingbroke. Adieu! Go
+on and prosper.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CLI
+
+GREENWICH, July 8, O. S. 1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: The last mail brought me your letter of the 3d July, N.
+S. I am glad that you are so well with Colonel Yorke, as to be let into
+secret correspondences. Lord Albemarle's reserve to you is, I believe,
+more owing to his secretary than to himself; for you seem to be much in
+favor with him; and possibly too HE HAS NO VERY SECRET LETTERS to
+communicate. However, take care not to discover the least dissatisfaction
+upon this score: make the proper acknowledgments to Colonel Yorke, for
+what he does show you; but let neither Lord Albemarle nor his people
+perceive the least coldness on your part, upon account of what they do
+not show you. It is very often necessary, not to manifest all one feels.
+Make your court to, and connect yourself as much as possible with Colonel
+Yorke; he may be of great use to you hereafter; and when you take leave,
+not only offer to bring over any letters or packets, by way of security;
+but even ask, as a favor, to be the carrier of a letter from him to his
+father, the Chancellor. 'A propos' of your coming here; I confess that I
+am weakly impatient for it, and think a few days worth getting; I would,
+therefore, instead of the 25th of next month, N. S., which was the day
+that I some time ago appointed for your leaving Paris, have you set out
+on Friday the 20th of August, N. S.; in consequence of which you will be
+at Calais some time on the Sunday following, and probably at Dover within
+four-and-twenty hours afterward. If you land in the morning, you may, in
+a postchaise, get to Sittingborne that day; if you come on shore in the
+evening, you can only get to Canterbury, where you will be better lodged
+than at Dover. I will not have you travel in the night, nor fatigue and
+overheat yourself by running on fourscore miles the moment you land. You
+will come straight to Blackheath, where I shall be ready to meet you, and
+which is directly upon the Dover road to London; and we will go to town
+together, after you have rested yourself a day or two here. All the other
+directions, which I gave you in my former letter, hold still the same.
+But, notwithstanding this regulation, should you have any particular
+reasons for leaving Paris two or three days sooner or later, than the
+above mentioned, 'vous etes maitre'. Make all your arrangements at Paris
+for about a six weeks stay in England at farthest.
+
+I had a letter the other day from Lord Huntingdon, of which one-half at
+least was your panegyric; it was extremely welcome to me from so good a
+hand. Cultivate that friendship; it will do you honor and give you
+strength. Connections, in our mixed parliamentary government, are of
+great use.
+
+I send you here inclosed the particular price of each of the mohairs; but
+I do not suppose that you will receive a shilling for anyone of them.
+However, if any of your ladies should take an odd fancy to pay, the
+shortest way, in the course of business, is for you to keep the money,
+and to take so much less from Sir John Lambert in your next draught upon
+him.
+
+I am very sorry to hear that Lady Hervey is ill. Paris does not seem to
+agree with her; she used to have great health here. 'A propos' of her;
+remember, when you are with me, not to mention her but when you and I are
+quite alone, for reasons which I will tell you when we meet: but this is
+only between you and me; and I desire that you will not so much as hint
+it to her, or to anybody else.
+
+If old Kurzay goes to the valley of Jehoshaphat, I cannot help it; it
+will be an ease to our friend Madame Montconseil, who I believe maintains
+her, and a little will not satisfy her in any way.
+
+Remember to bring your mother some little presents; they need not be of
+value, but only marks of your affection and duty for one who has always
+been tenderly fond of you. You may bring Lady Chesterfield a little
+Martin snuffbox of about five Louis; and you need bring over no other
+presents; you and I not wanting 'les petits presens pour entretenir
+l'amitee'.
+
+Since I wrote what goes before, I have talked you over minutely with Lord
+Albemarle, who told me, that he could very sincerely commend you upon
+every article but one; but upon that one you were often joked, both by
+him and others. I desired to know what that was; he laughed and told me
+it was the article of dress, in which you were exceedingly negligent.
+Though he laughed, I can assure you that it is no laughing matter for
+you; and you will possibly be surprised when I assert (but, upon my word,
+it is literally true), that to be very well dressed is of much more
+importance to you, than all the Greek you know will, be of these thirty
+years. Remember that the world is now your only business; and that you
+must adopt its customs and manners, be they silly or be they not. To
+neglect your dress, is an affront to all the women you keep company with;
+as it implies that you do not think them worth that attention which
+everybody else doth; they mind dress, and you will never please them if
+you neglect yours; and if you do not please the women, you will not
+please half the men you otherwise might. It is the women who put a young
+fellow in fashion even with the men. A young fellow ought to have a
+certain fund of coquetry; which should make him try all the means of
+pleasing, as much as any coquette in Europe can do. Old as I am, and
+little thinking of women, God knows, I am very far from being negligent
+of my dress; and why? From conformity to custom, and out of decency to
+men, who expect that degree of complaisance. I do not, indeed, wear
+feathers and red heels, which would ill suit my age; but I take care to
+have my clothes well made, my wig well combed and powdered, my linen and
+person extremely clean. I even allow my footman forty shillings a year
+extraordinary, that they may be spruce and neat. Your figure especially,
+which from its stature cannot be very majestic and interesting, should be
+the more attended to in point of dress as it cannot be 'imposante', it
+should be 'gentile, aimable, bien mise'. It will not admit of negligence
+and carelessness.
+
+I believe Mr. Hayes thinks that you have slighted him a little of late,
+since you have got into so much other company. I do not by any means
+blame you for not frequenting his house so much as you did at first,
+before you had got into so many other houses more entertaining and more
+instructing than his; on the contrary, you do very well; but, however, as
+he was extremely civil to you, take care to be so to him, and make up in
+manner what you omit in matter. See him, dine with him before you come
+away, and ask his commands for England.
+
+Your triangular seal is done, and I have given it to an English
+gentleman, who sets out in a week for Paris, and who will deliver it to
+Sir John Lambert for you.
+
+I cannot conclude this letter without returning again to the showish, the
+ornamental, the shining parts of your character; which, if you neglect,
+upon my word you will render the solid ones absolutely useless; nay, such
+is the present turn of the world, that some valuable qualities are even
+ridiculous, if not accompanied by the genteeler accomplishments.
+Plainness, simplicity, and quakerism, either in dress or manners, will by
+no means do; they must both be laced and embroidered; speaking, or
+writing sense, without elegance and turn, will be very little persuasive;
+and the best figure in the world, without air and address, will be very
+ineffectual. Some pedants may have told you that sound sense and learning
+stand in, need of no ornaments; and, to support that assertion, elegantly
+quote the vulgar proverb, that GOOD WINE NEEDS NO BUSH; but surely the
+little experience you have already had of the world must have convinced
+you that the contrary of that assertion is true. All those
+accomplishments are now in your power; think of them, and of them only. I
+hope you frequent La Foire St. Laurent, which I see is now open; you will
+improve more by going there with your mistress, than by staying at home
+and reading Euclid with your geometry master. Adieu. 'Divertissez-vous,
+il n'y a rien de tel'.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CLII
+
+GREENWICH, July 15, O. S. 1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: As this is the last, or last letter but one, that I think
+I shall write before I have the pleasure of seeing you here, it may not
+be amiss to prepare you a little for our interview, and for the time we
+shall pass together. Before kings and princes meet, ministers on each
+side adjust the important points of precedence, arm chairs, right hand
+and left, etc., so that they know previously what they are to expect,
+what they have to trust to; and it is right they should; for they
+commonly envy or hate, but most certainly distrust each other. We shall
+meet upon very different terms; we want no such preliminaries: you know
+my tenderness, I know your affection. My only object, therefore, is to
+make your short stay with me as useful as I can to you; and yours, I
+hope, is to co-operate with me. Whether, by making it wholesome, I shall
+make it pleasant to you, I am not sure. Emetics and cathartics I shall
+not administer, because I am sure you do not want them; but for
+alteratives you must expect a great many; and I can tell you that I have
+a number of NOSTRUMS, which I shall communicate to nobody but yourself.
+To speak without a metaphor, I shall endeavor to assist your youth with
+all the experience that I have purchased, at the price of seven and fifty
+years. In order to this, frequent reproofs, corrections, and admonitions
+will be necessary; but then, I promise you, that they shall be in a
+gentle, friendly, and secret manner; they shall not put you out of
+countenance in company, nor out of humor when we are alone. I do not
+expect that, at nineteen, you should have that knowledge of the world,
+those manners, that dexterity, which few people have at nine-and-twenty.
+But I will endeavor to give them you; and I am sure you will endeavor to
+learn them, as far as your youth, my experience, and the time we shall
+pass together, will allow. You may have many inaccuracies (and to be sure
+you have, for who has not at your age?) which few people will tell you
+of, and some nobody can tell you of but myself. You may possibly have
+others, too, which eyes less interested, and less vigilant than mine, do
+not discover; all those you shall hear of from one whose tenderness for
+you will excite his curiosity and sharpen his penetration. The smallest
+inattention or error in manners, the minutest inelegance of diction, the
+least awkwardness in your dress and carriage, will not escape my
+observation, nor pass without amicable correction. Two, the most intimate
+friends in the world, can freely tell each other their faults, and even
+their crimes, but cannot possibly tell each other of certain little
+weaknesses; awkwardnesses, and blindnesses of self-love; to authorize
+that unreserved freedom, the relation between us is absolutely necessary.
+For example, I had a very worthy friend, with whom I was intimate enough
+to tell him his faults; he had but few; I told him of them; he took it
+kindly of me, and corrected them. But then, he had some weaknesses that I
+could never tell him of directly, and which he was so little sensible of
+himself, that hints of them were lost upon him. He had a scrag neck, of
+about a yard long; notwithstanding which, bags being in fashion, truly he
+would wear one to his wig, and did so; but never behind him, for, upon
+every motion of his head, his bag came forward over one shoulder or the
+other. He took it into his head too, that he must occasionally dance
+minuets, because other people did; and he did so, not only extremely ill,
+but so awkward, so disjointed, slim, so meagre, was his figure, that had
+he danced as well as ever Marcel did, it would have been ridiculous in
+him to have danced at all. I hinted these things to him as plainly as
+friendship would allow, and to no purpose; but to have told him the
+whole, so as to cure him, I must have been his father, which, thank God,
+I am not. As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be
+fatherless; and, considering the general run of sons, as seldom a
+misfortune to be childless. You and I form, I believe, an exception to
+that rule; for, I am persuaded that we would neither of us change our
+relation, were it in our power. You will, I both hope and believe, be not
+only the comfort, but the pride of my age; and, I am sure, I will be the
+support, the friend, the guide of your youth. Trust me without reserve; I
+will advise you without private interest, or secret envy. Mr. Harte will
+do so too; but still there may be some little things proper for you to
+know, and necessary for you to correct, which even his friendship would
+not let him tell you of so freely as I should; and some, of which he may
+not possibly be so good a judge of as I am, not having lived so much in
+the great world.
+
+One principal topic of our conversation will be, not only the purity but
+the elegance of the English language; in both which you are very
+deficient. Another will be the constitution of this country, of which, I
+believe, you know less than of most other countries in Europe. Manners,
+attentions, and address, will also be the frequent subjects of our
+lectures; and whatever I know of that important and necessary art, the
+art of pleasing. I will unreservedly communicate to you. Dress too
+(which, as things are, I can logically prove, requires some attention)
+will not always escape our notice. Thus, my lectures will be more
+various, and in some respects more useful than Professor Mascow's, and
+therefore, I can tell you, that I expect to be paid for them; but, as
+possibly you would not care to part with your ready money, and as I do
+not think that it would be quite handsome in me to accept it, I will
+compound for the payment, and take it in attention and practice.
+
+Pray remember to part with all your friends, acquaintances, and
+mistresses, if you have any at Paris, in such a manner as may make them
+not only willing but impatient to see you there again. Assure them of
+your desire of returning to them; and do it in a manner that they may
+think you in earnest, that is 'avec onction et une espece
+d'attendrissement'. All people say, pretty near the same things upon
+those occasions; it is the manner only that makes the difference; and
+that difference is great. Avoid, however, as much as you can, charging
+yourself with commissions, in your return from hence to Paris; I know, by
+experience, that they are exceedingly troublesome, commonly expensive,
+and very seldom satisfactory at last, to the persons who gave them; some
+you cannot refuse, to people to whom you are obliged, and would oblige in
+your turn; but as to common fiddle-faddle commissions, you may excuse
+yourself from them with truth, by saying that you are to return to Paris
+through Flanders, and see all those great towns; which I intend you shall
+do, and stay a week or ten days at Brussels. Adieu! A good journey to
+you, if this is my last; if not, I can repeat again what I shall wish
+constantly.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CLIII
+
+LONDON, December 19, O. S. 1751--[Note the date, which indicates that the
+sojourn with the author has ended.]
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: You are now entered upon a scene of business, where I
+hope you will one day make a figure. Use does a great deal, but care and
+attention must be joined to it. The first thing necessary in writing
+letters of business, is extreme clearness and perspicuity; every
+paragraph should be so clear and unambiguous, that the dullest fellow in
+the world may not be able to mistake it, nor obliged to read it twice in
+order to understand it. This necessary clearness implies a correctness,
+without excluding an elegance of style. Tropes, figures, antitheses,
+epigrams, etc., would be as misplaced and as impertinent in letters of
+business, as they are sometimes (if judiciously used) proper and pleasing
+in familiar letters, upon common and trite subjects. In business, an
+elegant simplicity, the result of care, not of labor, is required.
+Business must be well, not affectedly dressed; but by no means
+negligently. Let your first attention be to clearness, and read every
+paragraph after you have written it, in the critical view of discovering
+whether it is possible that any one man can mistake the true sense of it:
+and correct it accordingly.
+
+Our pronouns and relatives often create obscurity or ambiguity; be
+therefore exceedingly attentive to them, and take care to mark out with
+precision their particular relations. For example, Mr. Johnson acquainted
+me that he had seen Mr. Smith, who had promised him to speak to Mr.
+Clarke, to return him (Mr. Johnson) those papers, which he (Mr. Smith)
+had left some time ago with him (Mr. Clarke): it is better to repeat a
+name, though unnecessarily, ten times, than to have the person mistaken
+once. WHO, you know, is singly relative to persons, and cannot be applied
+to things; WHICH and THAT are chiefly relative to things, but not
+absolutely exclusive of persons; for one may say, the man THAT robbed or
+killed such-a-one; but it is better to say, the man WHO robbed or killed.
+One never says, the man or the woman WHICH. WHICH and THAT, though
+chiefly relative to things, cannot be always used indifferently as to
+things, and the 'euoovca' must sometimes determine their place. For
+instance, the letter WHICH I received from you, WHICH you referred to in
+your last, WHICH came by Lord Albemarle's messenger WHICH I showed to
+such-a-one; I would change it thus--The letter THAT I received from you;
+WHICH you referred to in your last, THAT came by Lord Albemarle's
+messenger, and WHICH I showed to such-a-one.
+
+Business does not exclude (as possibly you wish it did) the usual terms
+of politeness and good-breeding; but, on the contrary, strictly requires
+them: such as, I HAVE THE HONOR TO ACQUAINT YOUR LORDSHIP; PERMIT ME TO
+ASSURE YOU; IF I MAY BE ALLOWED TO GIVE MY OPINION, etc. For the minister
+abroad, who writes to the minister at home, writes to his superior;
+possibly to his patron, or at least to one who he desires should be so.
+
+Letters of business will not only admit of, but be the better for CERTAIN
+GRACES--but then, they must be scattered with a sparing and skillful
+hand; they must fit their place exactly. They must decently adorn without
+encumbering, and modestly shine without glaring. But as this is the
+utmost degree of perfection in letters of business, I would not advise
+you to attempt those embellishments, till you have first laid your
+foundation well.
+
+Cardinal d'Ossat's letters are the true letters of business; those of
+Monsieur d'Avaux are excellent; Sir William Temple's are very pleasing,
+but, I fear, too affected. Carefully avoid all Greek or Latin quotations;
+and bring no precedents from the VIRTUOUS SPARTANS, THE POLITE ATHENIANS,
+AND THE BRAVE ROMANS. Leave all that to futile pedants. No flourishes, no
+declamation. But (I repeat it again) there is an elegant simplicity and
+dignity of style absolutely necessary for good letters of business;
+attend to that carefully. Let your periods be harmonious, without seeming
+to be labored; and let them not be too long, for that always occasions a
+degree of obscurity. I should not mention correct orthography, but that
+you very often fail in that particular, which will bring ridicule upon
+you; for no man is allowed to spell ill. I wish too that your handwriting
+were much better; and I cannot conceive why it is not, since every man
+may certainly write whatever hand he pleases. Neatness in folding up,
+sealing, and directing your packets, is by no means to be neglected;
+though, I dare say, you think it is. But there is something in the
+exterior, even of a packet, that may please or displease; and
+consequently worth some attention.
+
+You say that your time is very well employed; and so it is, though as yet
+only in the outlines, and first ROUTINE of business. They are previously
+necessary to be known; they smooth the way for parts and dexterity.
+Business requires no conjuration nor supernatural talents, as people
+unacquainted with it are apt to think. Method, diligence, and discretion,
+will carry a man, of good strong common sense, much higher than the
+finest parts, without them, can do. 'Par negotiis, neque supra', is the
+true character of a man of business; but then it implies ready attention
+and no ABSENCES, and a flexibility and versatility of attention from one
+object to another, without being engrossed by anyone.
+
+Be upon your guard against the pedantry and affectation of business which
+young people are apt to fall into, from the pride of being concerned in
+it young. They look thoughtful, complain of the weight of business, throw
+out mysterious hints, and seem big with secrets which they do not know.
+Do you, on the contrary, never talk of business but to those with whom
+you are to transact it; and learn to seem vacuus and idle, when you have
+the most business. Of all things, the 'volte sciollo', and the 'pensieri
+stretti', are necessary. Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CLIV
+
+LONDON, December 30, O. S. 1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: The parliaments are the courts of justice of France, and
+are what our courts of justice in Westminster-Hall are here. They used
+anciently to follow the court, and administer justice in presence of the
+King. Philip le Bel first fixed it at Paris, by an edict of 1302. It
+consisted then of but one chambre, which was called 'la Chambre des
+Prelats', most of the members being ecclesiastics; but the multiplicity
+of business made it by degrees necessary to create several other
+chambres. It consists now of seven chambres:
+
+'La Grande Chambre', which is the highest court of justice, and to which
+appeals lie from the others.
+
+'Les cinq Chambres des Enquetes', which are like our Common Pleas, and
+Court of Exchequer.
+
+'La Tournelle', which is the court for criminal justice, and answers to
+our Old Bailey and King's Bench.
+
+There are in all twelve parliaments in France: 1. Paris  2. Toulouse
+3. Grenoble  4. Bourdeaux  5. Dijon  6. Rouen  7. Aix en Provence
+8. Rennes en Bretagne  9. Pau en Navarre  10. Metz  11. Dole en Franche
+Comte  12. Douay
+
+There are three 'Conseils Souverains', which may almost be called
+parliaments; they are those of:
+
+Perpignan   Arras   Alsace
+
+For further particulars of the French parliaments, read 'Bernard de la
+Rochefavin des Parlemens de France', and other authors, who have treated
+that subject constitutionally. But what will be still better, converse
+upon it with people of sense and knowledge, who will inform you of the
+particular objects of the several chambres, and the businesses of the
+respective members, as, 'les Presidens, les Presidens a Mortier' (these
+last so called from their black velvet caps laced with gold), 'les
+Maitres tres des Requetes, les Greffiers, le Procureur General, les
+Avocats Generaux, les Conseillers', etc. The great point in dispute is
+concerning the powers of the parliament of Paris in matters of state, and
+relatively to the Crown. They pretend to the powers of the States-General
+of France when they used to be assembled (which, I think, they have not
+been since the reign of Lewis the Thirteenth, in the year 1615). The
+Crown denies those pretensions, and considers them only as courts of
+justice. Mezeray seems to be on the side of the parliament in this
+question, which is very well worth your inquiry. But, be that as it will,
+the parliament of Paris is certainly a very respectable body, and much
+regarded by the whole kingdom. The edicts of the Crown, especially those
+for levying money on the subjects, ought to be registered in parliament;
+I do not say to have their effect, for the Crown would take good care of
+that; but to have a decent appearance, and to procure a willing
+acquiescence in the nation. And the Crown itself, absolute as it is, does
+not love that strong opposition, and those admirable remonstrances, which
+it sometimes meets with from the parliaments. Many of those detached
+pieces are very well worth your collecting; and I remember, a year or two
+ago, a remonstrance of the parliament of Douay, upon the subject, as I
+think, of the 'Vingtieme', which was in my mind one of the finest and
+most moving compositions I ever read. They owned themselves, indeed, to
+be slaves, and showed their chains: but humbly begged of his Majesty to
+make them a little lighter, and less galling.
+
+THE STATES OF FRANCE were general assemblies of the three states or
+orders of the kingdom; the Clergy, the Nobility, and the 'Tiers Etat',
+that is, the people. They used to be called together by the King, upon
+the most important affairs of state, like our Lords and Commons in
+parliament, and our Clergy in convocation. Our parliament is our states,
+and the French parliaments are only their courts of justice. The Nobility
+consisted of all those of noble extraction, whether belonging to the
+SWORD or to the ROBE, excepting such as were chosen (which sometimes
+happened) by the Tiers Etat as their deputies to the States-General. The
+Tiers Etat was exactly our House of Commons, that is, the people,
+represented by deputies of their own choosing. Those who had the most
+considerable places, 'dans la robe', assisted at those assemblies, as
+commissioners on the part of the Crown. The States met, for the first
+time that I can find (I mean by the name of 'les etats'), in the reign of
+Pharamond, 424, when they confirmed the Salic law. From that time they
+have been very frequently assembled, sometimes upon important occasions,
+as making war and peace, reforming abuses, etc.; at other times, upon
+seemingly trifling ones, as coronations, marriages, etc. Francis the
+First assembled them, in 1526, to declare null and void his famous treaty
+of Madrid, signed and sworn to by him during his captivity there. They
+grew troublesome to the kings and to their ministers, and were but seldom
+called after the power of the Crown grew strong; and they have never been
+heard of since the year 1615. Richelieu came and shackled the nation, and
+Mazarin and Lewis the Fourteenth riveted the shackles.
+
+There still subsist in some provinces in France, which are called 'pais d
+etats', an humble local imitation, or rather mimicry, of the great
+'etats', as in Languedoc, Bretagne, etc. They meet, they speak, they
+grumble, and finally submit to whatever the King orders.
+
+Independently of the intrinsic utility of this kind of knowledge to every
+man of business, it is a shame for any man to be ignorant of it,
+especially relatively to any country he has been long in. Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS:
+
+A favor may make an enemy, and an injury may make a friend
+Affectation of business
+Applauded often, without approving
+At the first impulse of passion, be silent till you can be soft
+Avoid cacophony, and, what is very near as bad, monotony
+Be silent till you can be soft
+Being intelligible is now no longer the fashion
+Better refuse a favor gracefully, than to grant it clumsily
+Bolingbroke
+Bruyere
+Business must be well, not affectedly dressed
+Business now is to shine, not to weigh
+But stoops to conquer, and but kneels to rise
+Cease to love when you cease to be agreeable
+Chit-chat, useful to keep off improper and too serious subjects
+Committing acts of hostility upon the Graces
+Concealed what learning I had
+Consciousness of merit makes a man of sense more modest
+Disagreeable things may be done so agreeably as almost to oblige
+Disputes with heat
+Dr Fell
+Easy without negligence
+Elegance in one language will reproduce itself in all
+Every man knows that he understands religion and politics
+Every numerous assembly is MOB
+Everybody is good for something
+Expresses himself with more fire than elegance
+Frank without indiscretion
+Full-bottomed wigs were contrived for his humpback
+Gentleness of manners, with firmness of mind
+German, who has taken into his head that he understands French
+Grow wiser when it is too late
+Habitual eloquence
+Hand of a school-boy
+Hardened to the wants and distresses of mankind
+Have you learned to carve?
+If free from the guilt, be free from the suspicion, too
+Inclined to be fat, but I hope you will decline it
+Indolently say that they cannot do
+Information implies our previous ignorance; it must be sweetened
+Information is, in a certain degree, mortifying
+Insinuates himself only into the esteem of fools
+It is a real inconvenience to anybody to be fat
+Know, yourself and others
+Knowing how much you have, and how little you want
+Last beautiful varnish, which raises the colors
+Learn to keep your own secrets
+Loved without being despised, and feared without being hated
+Man of sense may be in haste, but can never be in a hurry
+Mangles what he means to carve
+Mazarin and Lewis the Fourteenth riveted the shackles
+Meditation and reflection
+Mere reason and good sense is never to be talked to a mob
+Mistimes or misplaces everything
+Mitigating, engaging words do by no means weaken your argument
+MOB: Understanding they have collectively none
+Often necessary, not to manifest all one feels
+One must often yield, in order to prevail
+Only because she will not, and not because she cannot
+Our frivolous dissertations upon the weather, or upon whist
+Outward air of modesty to all he does
+Richelieu came and shackled the nation
+Rochefoucault
+Rochefoucault, who, I am afraid, paints man very exactly
+See what you see, and to hear what you hear
+Seems to have no opinion of his own
+Seldom a misfortune to be childless
+She has uncommon, sense and knowledge for a woman
+Speaking to himself in the glass
+Style is the dress of thoughts
+Success turns much more upon manner than matter
+Swift
+Tacitus
+Take characters, as they do most things, upon trust
+They thought I informed, because I pleased them
+Unaffected silence upon that subject is the only true medium
+Unintelligible to his readers, and sometimes to himself
+Use palliatives when you contradict
+We love to be pleased better than to be informed
+Woman like her, who has always pleased, and often been pleased
+Women are the only refiners of the merit of men
+Yielded commonly without conviction
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Letters to His Son, 1751
+by The Earl of Chesterfield
+
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+Title: Letters to His Son, 1751
+
+Author: The Earl of Chesterfield
+
+Release Date: August, 2002  [Etext #3355]
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+
+
+Letters to His Son, 1751
+by The Earl of Chesterfield
+
+
+
+
+
+                           LETTERS TO HIS SON
+                      By the EARL OF CHESTERFIELD
+
+                     on the Fine Art of becoming a
+
+                            MAN OF THE WORLD
+
+                                 and a
+
+                               GENTLEMAN
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXVI
+
+LONDON, January 8, O.S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: By your letter of the 5th, N. S., I find that your
+'debut' at Paris has been a good one; you are entered into good company,
+and I dare say you will, not sink into bad.  Frequent the houses where
+you have been once invited, and have none of that shyness which makes
+most of your countrymen strangers, where they might be intimate and
+domestic if they pleased.  Wherever you have a general invitation to sup
+when you please, profit of it, with decency, and go every now and then.
+Lord Albemarle will, I am sure, be extremely kind to you, but his house
+is only a dinner house; and, as I am informed, frequented by no French
+people.  Should he happen to employ you in his bureau, which I much
+doubt, you must write a better hand than your common one, or you will get
+no credit by your manuscripts; for your hand is at present an illiberal
+one; it is neither a hand of business nor of a gentleman, but the hand of
+a school-boy writing his exercise, which he hopes will never be read.
+
+Madame de Monconseil gives me a favorable account of you; and so do
+Marquis de Matignon and Madame du Boccage; they all say that you desire
+to please, and consequently promise me that you will; and they judge
+right; for whoever really desires to please, and has (as you now have)
+the means of learning how, certainly will please and that is the great
+point of life; it makes all other things easy.  Whenever you are with
+Madame de Monconseil, Madame du Boccage, or other women of fashion, with
+whom you are tolerably free, say frankly and naturally: "I know little of
+the world; I am quite a novice in it; and although very desirous of
+pleasing, I am at a loss for the means.  Be so good, Madame, as to let me
+into your secret of pleasing everybody.  I shall owe my success to it,
+and you will always have more than falls to your share."  When, in
+consequence of this request, they shall tell you of any little error,
+awkwardness, or impropriety, you should not only feel, but express the
+warmest acknowledgment.  Though nature should suffer, and she will at
+first hearing them, tell them, that you will look upon the most severe
+criticisms as the greatest proof of their friendship.  Madame du Boccage
+tells me, particularly, to inform you: "I shall always, receive the honor
+of his visits with pleasure; it is true, that at his age the pleasures of
+conversation are cold; but I will endeavor to make him acquainted with
+young people," etc.
+
+Make use of this invitation, and as you live, in a manner, next door to
+her, step in and out there frequently.  Monsieur du Boccage will go with
+you, he tells me, with great pleasure, to the plays, and point out to you
+whatever deserves your knowing there.  This is worth your acceptance too;
+he has a very good taste.  I have not yet heard from Lady Hervey upon
+your subject; but as you inform me that you have already supped with her
+once, I look upon you as adopted by her; consult her in all your little
+matters; tell her any difficulties that may occur to you; ask her what
+you should do or say in such or such cases; she has 'l'usage du monde en
+perfection', and will help you to acquire it.  Madame de Berkenrode 'est
+paitrie de graces', and your quotation is very applicable to her.  You
+may be there, I dare say, as often as you please, and I would advise you
+to sup there once a week.
+
+You say, very justly, that as Mr. Harte is leaving you, you shall want
+advice more than ever; you shall never want mine; and as you have already
+had so much of it, I must rather repeat than add to what I have already
+given you; but that I will do, and add to it occasionally, as
+circumstances may require.  At present I shall only remind you of your
+two great objects, which you should always attend to; they are parliament
+and foreign affairs.  With regard to the former, you can do nothing while
+abroad but attend carefully to the purity, correctness, and elegance of
+your diction; the clearness and gracefulness of your utterance, in
+whatever language you speak.  As for the parliamentary knowledge, I will
+take care of that when you come home.  With regard to foreign affairs,
+everything you do abroad may and ought to tend that way.  Your reading
+should be chiefly historical; I do not mean of remote, dark, and fabulous
+history, still less of jimcrack natural history of fossils, minerals,
+plants, etc., but I mean the useful, political, and constitutional
+history of Europe, for these last three centuries and a half.  The other
+thing necessary for your foreign object, and not less necessary than
+either ancient or modern knowledge, is a great knowledge of the world,
+manners, politeness, address, and 'le ton de la bonne compagnie'.  In
+that view, keeping a great deal of good company, is the principal point
+to which you are now to attend.  It seems ridiculous to tell you, but it
+is most certainly true, that your dancing-master is at this time the man
+in all Europe of the greatest importance to you.  You must dance well,
+in order to sit, stand, and walk well; and you must do all these well in
+order to please.  What with your exercises, some reading, and a great
+deal of company, your day is, I confess, extremely taken up; but the day,
+if well employed, is long enough for everything; and I am sure you will
+not slattern away one moment of it in inaction.  At your age, people have
+strong and active spirits, alacrity and vivacity in all they do; are
+'impigri', indefatigable, and quick.  The difference is, that a young
+fellow of parts exerts all those happy dispositions in the pursuit of
+proper objects; endeavors to excel in the solid, and in the showish parts
+of life; whereas a silly puppy, or a dull rogue, throws away all his
+youth and spirit upon trifles, where he is serious or upon disgraceful
+vices, while he aims at pleasures.  This I am sure will not be your case;
+your good sense and your good conduct hitherto are your guarantees with
+me for the future.  Continue only at Paris as you have begun, and your
+stay there will make you, what I have always wished you to be, as near
+perfection as our nature permits.
+
+Adieu, my dear; remember to write to me once a-week, not as to a father,
+but, without reserve, as to a friend.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXVII
+
+LONDON, January 14, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  Among the many good things Mr. Harte has told me of you,
+two in particular gave me great pleasure.  The first, that you are
+exceedingly careful and jealous of the dignity of your character; that is
+the sure and solid foundation upon which you must both stand and rise.
+A man's moral character is a more delicate thing than a woman's
+reputation of chastity.  A slip or two may possibly be forgiven her, and
+her character may be clarified by subsequent and continued good conduct:
+but a man's moral character once tainted is irreparably destroyed.  The
+second was, that you had acquired a most correct and extensive knowledge
+of foreign affairs, such as the history, the treaties, and the forms of
+government of the several countries of Europe.  This sort of knowledge,
+little attended to here, will make you not only useful, but necessary,
+in your future destination, and carry you very far.  He added that you
+wanted from hence some books relative to our laws and constitution, our
+colonies, and our commerce; of which you know less than of those of any
+other part of Europe.  I will send you what short books I can find of
+that sort, to give you a general notion of those things: but you cannot
+have time to go into their depths at present--you cannot now engage with
+new folios; you and I will refer the constitutional part of this country
+to our meeting here, when we will enter seriously into it, and read the
+necessary books together.  In the meantime, go on in the course you are
+in, of foreign matters; converse with ministers and others of every
+country, watch the transactions of every court, and endeavor to trace
+them up to their source.  This, with your physics, your geometry, and
+your exercises, will be all that you can possibly have time for at Paris;
+for you must allow a great deal for company and pleasures: it is they
+that must give you those manners, that address, that 'tournure' of the
+'beau monde', which will qualify you for your future destination.  You
+must first please, in order to get the confidence, and consequently the
+secrets, of the courts and ministers for whom and with whom you
+negotiate.
+
+I will send you by the first opportunity a short book written by Lord
+Bolingbroke, under the name of Sir John Oldcastle, containing remarks
+upon the history of England; which will give you a clear general notion
+of our constitution, and which will serve you, at the same time, like all
+Lord Bolingbroke's works, for a model of eloquence and style.  I will
+also send you Sir Josiah Childe's little book upon trade, which may
+properly be called the Commercial Grammar."  He lays down the true
+principles of commerce, and his conclusions from them are generally very
+just.
+
+Since you turn your thoughts a little toward trade and commerce, which I
+am very glad you do, I will recommend a French book to you, which you
+will easily get at Paris, and which I take to be the best book in the
+world of that kind: I mean the 'Dictionnaire de Commerce de Savory', in
+three volumes in folio; where you will find every one thing that relates
+to trade, commerce, specie, exchange, etc., most clearly stated; and not
+only relative to France, but to the whole world.  You will easily
+suppose, that I do not advise you to read such a book 'tout de suite';
+but I only mean that you should have it at hand, to have recourse to
+occasionally.
+
+With this great stock of both useful and ornamental knowledge, which you
+have already acquired, and which, by your application and industry, you
+are daily increasing, you will lay such a solid foundation of future
+figure and fortune, that if you complete it by all the accomplishments of
+manners, graces, etc., I know nothing which you may not aim at, and in
+time hope for.  Your great point at present at Paris, to which all other
+considerations must give way, is to become entirely a man of fashion: to
+be well-bred without ceremony, easy without negligence, steady and
+intrepid with modesty, genteel without affectation, insinuating without
+meanness, cheerful without being noisy, frank without indiscretion, and
+secret without mysteriousness; to know the proper time and place for
+whatever you say or do, and to do it with an air of condition all this is
+not so soon nor so easily learned as people imagine, but requires
+observation and time.  The world is an immense folio, which demands a
+great deal of time and attention to be read and understood as it ought to
+be; you have not yet read above four or five pages of it; and you will
+have but barely time to dip now and then in other less important books.
+
+Lord Albemarle has, I know, wrote {It is a pleasure for an ordinary
+mortal to find Lord Chesterfield in gramatical error--and he did it again
+in the last sentence of this paragraph--but this was 1751?  D.W.} to a
+friend of his here, that you do not frequent him so much as he expected
+and desired; that he fears somebody or other has given you wrong
+impressions of him; and that I may possibly think,
+from your being seldom at his house, that he has been wanting in his
+attentions to you.  I told the person who told me this, that, on the
+contrary, you seemed, by your letters to me, to be extremely pleased with
+Lord Albemarle's behavior to you: but that you were obliged to give up
+dining abroad during your course of experimental philosophy.  I guessed
+the true reason, which I believe was, that, as no French people frequent
+his house, you rather chose to dine at other places, where you were
+likely to meet with better company than your countrymen and you were in
+the right of it.  However, I would have you show no shyness to Lord
+Albemarle, but go to him, and dine with him oftener than it may be you
+would wish, for the sake of having him speak well of you here when he
+returns.  He is a good deal in fashion here, and his PUFFING you (to use
+an awkward expression) before you return here, will be of great use to
+you afterward.  People in general take characters, as they do most
+things, upon trust, rather than be at the trouble of examining them
+themselves; and the decisions of four or five fashionable people, in
+every place, are final, more particularly with regard to characters,
+which all can hear, and but few judge of.  Do not mention the least of
+this to any mortal; and take care that Lord Albemarle do not suspect that
+you know anything of the matter.
+
+Lord Huntingdon and Lord Stormount are, I hear, arrived at Paris; you
+have, doubtless, seen them.  Lord Stormount is well spoken of here;
+however, in your connections, if you form any with them, show rather a
+preference to Lord Huntingdon, for reasons which you will easily guess.
+
+Mr. Harte goes this week to Cornwall, to take possession of his living;
+he has been installed at Windsor; he will return here in about a month,
+when your literary correspondence with him will be regularly carried on.
+Your mutual concern at parting was a good sign for both.
+
+I have this moment received good accounts of you from Paris.  Go on 'vous
+etes en bon train'.  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXVIII
+
+LONDON, January 21, O. S..  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  In all my letters from Paris, I have the pleasure of
+finding, among many other good things, your docility mentioned with
+emphasis; this is the sure way of improving in those things, which you
+only want.  It is true they are little, but it is as true too that they
+are necessary things.  As they are mere matters of usage and mode, it is
+no disgrace for anybody of your age to be ignorant of them; and the most
+compendious way of learning them is, fairly to avow your ignorance, and
+to consult those who, from long usage and experience, know them best.
+Good sense and good-nature suggest civility in general; but, in good-
+breeding there are a thousand little delicacies, which are established
+only by custom; and it is these little elegances of manners which
+distinguish a courtier and a man of fashion from the vulgar.  I am
+assured by different people, that your air is already much improved; and
+one of my correspondents makes you the true French compliment of saying,
+'F'ose vous promettre qu'il sera bientot comme un de nos autres'.
+However unbecoming this speech may be in the mouth of a Frenchman, I am
+very glad that they think it applicable to you; for I would have you not
+only adopt, but rival, the best manners and usages of the place you are
+at, be they what they will; that is the versatility of manners which is
+so useful in the course of the world.  Choose your models well at Paris,
+and then rival them in their own way.  There are fashionable words,
+phrases, and even gestures, at Paris, which are called 'du bon ton'; not
+to mention 'certaines Petites politesses et attentions, qui ne sont rien
+en elle-memes', which fashion has rendered necessary.  Make yourself
+master of all these things; and to such a degree, as to make the French
+say, 'qu'on diroit que c'est un Francois'; and when hereafter you shall
+be at other courts, do the same thing there; and conform to the
+fashionable manners and usage of the place; that is what the French
+themselves are not apt to do; wherever they go, they retain their own
+manners, as thinking them the best; but, granting them to be so, they are
+still in the wrong not to conform to those of the place.  One would
+desire to please, wherever one is; and nothing is more innocently
+flattering than an approbation, and an imitation of the people one
+converses with.
+
+I hope your colleges with Marcel go on prosperously.  In these
+ridiculous, though, at the same time, really important lectures, pray
+attend, and desire your professor also to attend, more particularly to
+the chapter of the arms.  It is they that decide of a man's being genteel
+or otherwise, more than any other part of the body.  A twist or stiffness
+in the wrist, will make any man in Europe look awkward.  The next thing
+to be attended to is, your coming into a room, and presenting yourself to
+a company.  This gives the first impression; and the first impression is
+often a lasting one.  Therefore, pray desire Professor Marcel to make you
+come in and go out of his room frequently, and in the supposition of
+different companies being there; such as ministers, women, mixed
+companies, etc.  Those who present themselves well, have a certain
+dignity in their air, which, without the least seeming mixture of pride,
+at once engages, and is respected.
+
+I should not so often repeat, nor so long dwell upon such trifles, with
+anybody that had less solid and valuable knowledge than you have.
+Frivolous people attend to those things, 'par preference'; they know
+nothing else; my fear with you is, that, from knowing better things, you
+should despise these too much, and think them of much less consequence
+than they really are; for they are of a great deal, and more especially
+to you.
+
+Pleasing and governing women may, in time, be of great service to you.
+They often please and govern others.  'A propos', are you in love with
+Madame de Berkenrode still, or has some other taken her place in your
+affections?  I take it for granted, that 'qua to cumque domat Venus, non
+erubescendis adurit ignibus.  Un arrangement honnete sied bien a un
+galant homme'.  In that case I recommend to you the utmost discretion,
+and the profoundest silence.  Bragging of, hinting at, intimating, or
+even affectedly disclaiming and denying such an arrangement will equally
+discredit you among men and women.  An unaffected silence upon that
+subject is the only true medium.
+
+In your commerce with women, and indeed with men too, 'une certaine
+douceur' is particularly engaging; it is that which constitutes that
+character which the French talk of so much, and so justly value, I mean
+'l'aimable'.  This 'douceur' is not so easily described as felt.  It is
+the compound result of different things; a complaisance, a flexibility,
+but not a servility of manners; an air of softness in the countenance,
+gesture, and expression, equally whether you concur or differ with the
+person you converse with.  Observe those carefully who have that
+'douceur' that charms you and others; and your own good sense will soon
+enable you to discover the different ingredients of which it is composed.
+You must be more particularly attentive to this 'douceur', whenever you
+are obliged to refuse what is asked of you, or to say what in itself
+cannot be very agreeable to those to whom you say it.  It is then the
+necessary gilding of a disagreeable pill.  'L'aimable' consists in a
+thousand of these little things aggregately.  It is the 'suaviter in
+modo', which I have so often recommended to you.  The respectable, Mr.
+Harte assures me, you do not want, and I believe him.  Study, then,
+carefully; and acquire perfectly, the 'Aimable', and you will have
+everything.
+
+Abbe Guasco, who is another of your panegyrists, writes me word that he
+has taken you to dinner at Marquis de St. Germain's; where you will be
+welcome as often as you please, and the oftener the better.  Profit of
+that, upon the principle of traveling in different countries, without
+changing places.  He says, too, that he will take you to the parliament,
+when any remarkable cause is to be tried.  That is very well; go through
+the several chambers of the parliament, and see and hear what they are
+doing; join practice and observation to your theoretical knowledge of
+their rights and privileges.  No Englishman has the least notion of them.
+
+I need not recommend you to go to the bottom of the constitutional and
+political knowledge of countries; for Mr. Harte tells me that you have a
+peculiar turn that way, and have informed yourself most correctly of
+them.
+
+I must now put some queries to you, as to a 'juris publici peritus',
+which I am sure you can answer me, and which I own I cannot answer
+myself; they are upon a subject now much talked of.
+
+1st.  Are there any particular forms requisite for the election of a King
+of the Romans, different from those which are necessary for the election
+of an Emperor?
+
+2d.  Is not a King of the Romans as legally elected by the votes of a
+majority of the electors, as by two-thirds, or by the unanimity of the
+electors?
+
+3d.  Is there any particular law or constitution of the empire, that
+distinguishes, either in matter or in, form, the election of a King of
+the Romans from that of an Emperor?  And is not the golden bull of
+Charles the Fourth equally the rule for both?
+
+4th.  Were there not, at a meeting of a certain number of the electors (I
+have forgotten when), some rules and limitations agreed upon concerning
+the election of a King of the Romans?  And were those restrictions legal,
+and did they obtain the force of law?
+
+How happy am I, my dear child, that I can apply to you for knowledge, and
+with a certainty of being rightly informed!  It is knowledge, more than
+quick, flashy parts, that makes a man of business.  A man who is master
+of his matter, twill, with inferior parts, be too hard in parliament, and
+indeed anywhere else, for a man of-better parts, who knows his subject
+but superficially: and if to his knowledge he joins eloquence and
+elocution, he must necessarily soon be at the head of that assembly; but
+without those two, no knowledge is sufficient.
+
+Lord Huntingdon writes me word that he has seen you, and that you have
+renewed your old school-acquaintance.
+
+Tell me fairly your opinion of him, and of his friend Lord Stormount: and
+also of the other English people of fashion you meet with.  I promise you
+inviolable secrecy on my part.  You and I must now write to each other-
+as friends, and without the least reserve; there will for the future be a
+thousand-things in my letters, which I would not have any mortal living
+but yourself see or know.  Those you will easily distinguish, and neither
+show nor repeat; and I will do the same by you.
+
+To come to another subject (for I have a pleasure in talking over every
+subject with you): How deep are you in Italian ?  Do you understand
+Ariosto, Tasso, Boccaccio and Machiavelli?  If you do, you know enough of
+it and may know all the rest, by reading, when you have time.  Little or
+no business is written in Italian, except in Italy; and if you know
+enough of it to understand the few Italian letters that may in time come
+in your way, and to speak Italian tolerably to those very few Italians
+who speak no French, give yourself no further trouble about that language
+till you happen to have full leisure to perfect yourself in it.  It is
+not the same with regard to German; your speaking and writing it well,
+will particularly distinguish you from every other man in England; and
+is, moreover, of great use to anyone who is, as probably you will be,
+employed in the Empire.  Therefore, pray cultivate them sedulously, by
+writing four or five lines of German every day, and by speaking it to
+every German you meet with.
+
+You have now got a footing in a great many good houses at Paris, in which
+I advise you to make yourself domestic.  This is to be done by a certain
+easiness of carriage, and a decent familiarity.  Not by way of putting
+yourself upon the frivolous footing of being 'sans consequence', but by
+doing in some degree, the honors of the house and table, calling yourself
+'en badinant le galopin d'ici', saying to the masters or mistress, 'ceci
+est de mon departement; je m'en charge; avouez, que je m'en acquitte a
+merveille.'  This sort of 'badinage' has something engaging and 'liant'
+in it, and begets that decent familiarity, which it is both agreeable and
+useful to establish in good houses and with people of fashion.  Mere
+formal visits, dinners, and suppers, upon formal invitations, are not the
+thing; they add to no connection nor information; but it is the easy,
+careless ingress and egress at all hours, that forms the pleasing and
+profitable commerce of life.
+
+The post is so negligent, that I lose some letters from Paris entirely,
+and receive others much later than I should.  To this I ascribe my having
+received no letter from you for above a fortnight, which to my impatience
+seems a long time.  I expect to hear from you once a-week.  Mr. Harte is
+gone to Cornwall, and will be back in about three weeks.  I have a packet
+of books to send you by the first opportunity, which I believe will be
+Mr. Yorke's return to Paris.  The, Greek books come from Mr. Harte, and
+the English ones from your humble servant.  Read Lord Bolingbroke's with
+great attention, as well to the style as to the matter.  I wish you could
+form yourself such a style in every language.  Style is the dress of
+thoughts; and a well-dressed thought, like a well-dressed man, appears to
+great advantage.  Yours.  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXIX
+
+LONDON, August 28, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: A bill for ninety pounds sterling was brought me the
+other day, said to be drawn upon me by you: I scrupled paying it at
+first, not upon account of the sum, but because you had sent me no letter
+of advice, which is always done in those transactions; and still more,
+because I did not perceive that you had signed it.  The person who
+presented it, desired me to look again, and that I should discover your
+name at the bottom : accordingly I looked again, and, with the help of my
+magnifying glass, did perceive that what I had first taken only for
+somebody's mark, was, in truth, your name, written in the worst and
+smallest hand I ever saw in my life.
+
+However, I paid it at a venture; though I would almost rather lose the
+money, than that such a signature should be yours.  All gentlemen, and
+all men of business, write their names always in the same way, that their
+signature may be so well known as not to be easily counterfeited; and
+they generally sign in rather larger character than their common hand;
+whereas your name was in a less, and a worse, than your common writing.
+This suggested to me the various accidents which may very probably happen
+to you, while you write so ill.  For instance, if you were to write in
+such a character to the Secretary's office, your letter would immediately
+be sent to the decipherer, as containing matters of the utmost secrecy,
+not fit to be trusted to the common character.  If you were to write so
+to an antiquarian, he (knowing you to be a man of learning) would
+certainly try it by the Runic, Celtic, or Sclavonian alphabet, never
+suspecting it to be a modern character.  And, if you were to send a
+'poulet' to a fine woman, in such a hand, she would think that it really
+came from the 'poulailler'; which, by the bye, is the etymology of the
+word 'poulet'; for Henry the Fourth of France used to send billets-doux
+to his mistresses by his 'poulailler', under pretense of sending them
+chickens; which gave the name of poulets to those short, but expressive
+manuscripts.  I have often told you that every man who has the use of his
+eyes and of his hand, can write whatever hand he pleases; and it is plain
+that you can, since you write both the Greek and German characters, which
+you never learned of a writing-master, extremely well, though your common
+hand, which you learned of a master, is an exceedingly bad and illiberal
+one; equally unfit for business or common use.  I do not desire that you
+should write the labored, stiff character of a writing-master: a man of
+business must write quick and well, and that depends simply upon use.
+I would therefore advise you to get some very good writing-master at
+Paris, and apply to it for a month only, which will be sufficient; for,
+upon my word, the writing of a genteel plain hand of business is of much
+more importance than you think.  You will say, it may be, that when you
+write so very ill, it is because you are in a hurry, to which I answer,
+Why are you ever in a hurry?  A man of sense may be in haste, but can
+never be in a hurry, because he knows that whatever he does in a hurry,
+he must necessarily do very ill.  He may be in haste to dispatch an
+affair, but he will care not to let that haste hinder his doing it well.
+Little minds are in a hurry, when the object proves (as it commonly does)
+too big for them; they run, they hare, they puzzle, confound, and perplex
+themselves: they want to do everything at once, and never do it at all.
+But a man of sense takes the time necessary for doing the thing he is
+about, well; and his haste to dispatch a business only appears by the
+continuity of his application to it: he pursues it with a cool
+steadiness, and finishes it before he begins any other.  I own your time
+is much taken up, and you have a great many different things to do; but
+remember that you had much better do half of them well and leave the
+other half undone, than do them all indifferently.  Moreover, the few
+seconds that are saved in the course of the day, by writing ill instead
+of well, do not amount to an object of time by any means equivalent to
+the disgrace or ridicule of writing the scrawl of a common whore.
+Consider, that if your very bad writing could furnish me with matter of
+ridicule, what will it not do to others who do not view you in that
+partial light that I do?  There was a pope, I think it was Cardinal
+Chigi, who was justly ridiculed for his attention to little things, and
+his inability in great ones: and therefore called maximus in minimis, and
+minimus in maximis.  Why?  Because he attended to little things when he
+had great ones to do.  At this particular period of your life, and at the
+place you are now in, you have only little things to do; and you should
+make it habitual to you to do them well, that they may require no
+attention from you when you have, as I hope you will have, greater things
+to mind.  Make a good handwriting familiar to you now, that you may
+hereafter have nothing but your matter to think of, when you have
+occasion to write to kings and ministers.  Dance, dress, present
+yourself, habitually well now, that you may have none of those little
+things to think of hereafter, and which will be all necessary to be done
+well occasionally, when you will have greater things to do.
+
+As I am eternally thinking of everything that can be relative to you, one
+thing has occurred to me, which I think necessary to mention to you, in
+order to prevent the difficulties which it might otherwise lay you under;
+it is this as you get more acquaintances at Paris, it will be impossible
+for you to frequent your first acquaintances so much as you did, while
+you had no others.  As, for example, at your first 'debut', I suppose you
+were chiefly at Madame Monconseil's, Lady Hervey's, and Madame du
+Boccage's.  Now, that you have got so many other houses, you cannot be at
+theirs so often as you used; but pray take care not to give them the
+least reason to think that you neglect, or despise them, for the sake of
+new and more dignified and shining acquaintances; which would be
+ungrateful and imprudent on your part, and never forgiven on theirs.
+Call upon them often, though you do not stay with them so long as
+formerly; tell them that you are sorry you are obliged to go away, but
+that you have such and such engagements, with which good-breeding obliges
+you to comply; and insinuate that you would rather stay with them.  In
+short, take care to make as many personal friends, and as few personal
+enemies, as possible.  I do not mean, by personal friends, intimate and
+confidential friends, of which no man can hope to have half a dozen in
+the whole course of his life; but I mean friends, in the common
+acceptation of the word; that is, people who speak well of you, and
+who would rather do you good than harm, consistently with their own
+interest, and no further.  Upon the whole, I recommend to you, again and
+again, 'les Graces'.  Adorned by them, you may, in a manner, do what you
+please; it will be approved of; without them, your best qualities will
+lose half their efficacy.  Endeavor to be fashionable among the French,
+which will soon make you fashionable here.  Monsieur de Matignon already
+calls you 'le petit Francois'.  If you can get that name generally at
+Paris, it will put you 'a la mode'.  Adieu, my dear child.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXX
+
+LONDON, February 4, O. S. 1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: The accounts which I receive of you from Paris grow every
+day more and more satisfactory.  Lord Albemarle has wrote a sort of
+panegyric of you, which has been seen by many people here, and which will
+be a very useful forerunner for you.  Being in fashion is an important
+point for anybody anywhere; but it would be a very great one for you to
+be established in the fashion here before you return.  Your business will
+be half done by it, as I am sure you would not give people reason to
+change their favorable presentiments of you.  The good that is said of
+you will not, I am convinced, make you a coxcomb; and, on the other hand,
+the being thought still to want some little accomplishments, will, I am
+persuaded, not mortify you, but only animate you to acquire them: I will,
+therefore, give you both fairly, in the following extract of a letter
+which I lately received from an impartial and discerning friend:--
+
+"Permit me to assure you, Sir, that Mr. Stanhope will succeed.  He has a
+great fund of knowledge, and an uncommonly good memory, although he does
+not make any parade of either the one or the other.  He is desirous of
+pleasing, and he will please.  He has an expressive countenance; his
+figure is elegant, although little.  He has not the least awkwardness,
+though he has not as yet acquired all-the graces requisite; which Marcel
+and the ladies will soon give him.  In short, he wants nothing but those
+things, which, at his age, must unavoidably be wanting; I mean, a certain
+turn and delicacy of manners, which are to be acquired only by time, and
+in good company.  Ready as he is, he will soon learn them; particularly
+as he frequents such companies as are the most proper to give them."
+
+By this extract, which I can assure you is a faithful one, you and I have
+both of us the satisfaction of knowing how much you have, and how little
+you want.  Let what you have give you (if possible) rather more SEEMING
+modesty, but at the same time more interior firmness and assurance; and
+let what you want, which you see is very attainable, redouble your
+attention and endeavors to acquire it.  You have, in truth, but that one
+thing to apply to and a very pleasing application it is, since it is
+through pleasures you must arrive at it.  Company, suppers, balls,
+spectacles, which show you the models upon which you should form
+yourself, and all the little usages, customs, and delicacies, which you
+must adopt and make habitual to you, are now your only schools and
+universities; in which young fellows and fine women will give you the
+best lectures.
+
+Monsieur du Boccage is another of your panegyrists; and he tells me that
+Madame Boccage 'a pris avec vous le ton de mie et de bonne'; and that you
+like it very well.  You are in the right of it; it is the way of
+improving; endeavor to be upon that footing with every woman you converse
+with; excepting where there may be a tender point of connection; a point
+which I have nothing to do with; but if such a one there is, I hope she
+has not 'de mauvais ni de vilains bras', which I agree with you in
+thinking a very disagreeable thing.
+
+I have sent you, by the opportunity of Pollok the courier, who was once
+my servant, two little parcels of Greek and English books; and shall send
+you two more by Mr. Yorke: but I accompany them with this caution, that
+as you have not much time to read, you should employ it in reading what
+is the most necessary, and that is, indisputably modern historical,
+geographical, chronological, and political knowledge; the present
+constitution, maxims, force, riches, trade, commerce, characters,
+parties, and cabals of the several courts of Europe.  Many who are
+reckoned good scholars, though they know pretty accurately the
+governments of Athens and Rome, are totally ignorant of the constitution
+of any one country now in Europe, even of their own.  Read just Latin and
+Greek enough to keep up your classical learning, which will be an
+ornament to you while young, and a comfort to you when old.  But the true
+useful knowledge, and especially for you, is the modern knowledge above
+mentioned.  It is that must qualify you both for domestic and foreign
+business, and it is to that, therefore, that you should principally
+direct your attention; and I know, with great pleasure, that you do so.
+I would not thus commend you to yourself, if I thought commendations
+would have upon you those ill effects, which they frequently have upon
+weak minds.  I think you are much above being a vain coxcomb, overrating
+your own merit, and insulting others with the superabundance of it.  On
+the contrary, I am convinced that the consciousness of merit makes a man
+of sense more modest, though more firm.  A man who displays his own merit
+is a coxcomb, and a man who does not know it is a fool.  A man of sense
+knows it, exerts it, avails himself of it, but never boasts of it; and
+always SEEMS rather to under than over value it, though in truth, he sets
+the right value upon it.  It is a very true maxim of La Bruyere's (an
+author well worth your studying), 'qu'on ne vaut dans ce monde, que ce
+que l'on veut valoir'.  A man who is really diffident, timid, and
+bashful, be his merit what it will, never can push himself in the world;
+his despondency throws him into inaction; and the forward, the bustling,
+and the petulant, will always get the better of him.  The manner makes
+the whole difference.  What would be impudence in one manner, is only a
+proper and decent assurance in another.  A man of sense, and of knowledge
+in the world, will assert his own rights, and pursue his own objects,
+as steadily and intrepidly as the most impudent man living, and commonly
+more so; but then he has art enough to give an outward air of modesty to
+all he does.  This engages and prevails, while the very same things shock
+and fail, from the overbearing or impudent manner only of doing them.
+I repeat my maxim, 'Suaviter in modo, sed fortiter in re'.  Would you
+know the characters, modes and manners of the latter end of the last age,
+which are very like those of the present, read La Bruyere.  But would you
+know man, independently of modes, read La Rochefoucault, who, I am
+afraid, paints him very exactly.
+
+Give the inclosed to Abbe Guasco, of whom you make good use, to go about
+with you, and see things.  Between you and me, he has more knowledge than
+parts.  'Mais un habile homme sait tirer parti de tout', and everybody is
+good for something.  President Montesquieu is, in every sense, a most
+useful acquaintance.  He has parts, joined to great reading and knowledge
+of the world.  'Puisez dans cette source tant que vous pourrez'.
+
+Adieu.  May the Graces attend you! for without them 'ogni fatica e vana'.
+If they do not come to you willingly, ravish them, and force them to
+accompany you in all you think, all you say, and all you do.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXI
+
+LONDON, February 11, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  When you go to the play, which I hope you do often, for
+it is a very instructive amusement, you must certainly have observed the
+very different effects which the several parts have upon you, according
+as they are well or ill acted.  The very best tragedy of, Corneille's,
+if well spoken and acted, interests, engages, agitates, and affects your
+passions.  Love, terror, and pity alternately possess you.  But, if ill
+spoken and acted, it would only excite your indignation or your laughter.
+Why?  It is still Corneille's; it is the same sense, the same matter,
+whether well or ill acted.  It is, then, merely the manner of speaking
+and acting that makes this great difference in the effects.  Apply this
+to yourself, and conclude from it, that if you would either please in a
+private company, or persuade in a public assembly, air, looks, gestures,
+graces, enunciation, proper accents, just emphasis, and tuneful cadences,
+are full as necessary as the matter itself.  Let awkward, ungraceful,
+inelegant, and dull fellows say what they will in behalf of their solid
+matter and strong reasonings; and let them despise all those graces and
+ornaments which engage the senses and captivate the heart; they will find
+(though they will possibly wonder why) that their rough, unpolished
+matter, and their unadorned, coarse, but strong arguments, will neither
+please nor persuade; but, on the contrary, will tire out attention, and
+excite disgust.  We are so made, we love to be pleased better than to be
+informed; information is, in a certain degree, mortifying, as it implies
+our previous ignorance; it must be sweetened to be palatable.
+
+To bring this directly to you: know that no man can make a figure in this
+country, but by parliament.  Your fate depends upon your success there as
+a speaker; and, take my word for it, that success turns much more upon
+manner than matter.  Mr. Pitt and Mr. Murray the solicitor-general, uncle
+to Lord Stormount, are, beyond comparison, the best speakers; why? only
+because they are the best orators.  They alone can inflame or quiet the
+House; they alone are so attended to, in that numerous and noisy
+assembly, that you might hear a pin fall while either of them is
+speaking.  Is it that their matter is better, or their arguments
+stronger, than other people's?  Does the House expect extraordinary
+informations from them?  Not, in the least: but the House expects
+pleasure from them, and therefore attends; finds it, and therefore
+approves.  Mr. Pitt, particularly, has very little parliamentary
+knowledge; his matter is generally flimsy, and his arguments often weak;
+but his eloquence is superior, his action graceful, his enunciation just
+and harmonious; his periods are well turned, and every word he makes use
+of is the very best, and the most expressive, that can be used in that
+place.  This, and not his matter, made him Paymaster, in spite of both
+king and ministers.  From this draw the obvious conclusion.  The same
+thing holds full as true in conversation; where even trifles, elegantly
+expressed, well looked, and accompanied with graceful action, will ever
+please, beyond all the homespun, unadorned sense in the world.  Reflect,
+on one side, how you feel within yourself, while you are forced to suffer
+the tedious, muddy, and ill-turned narration of some awkward fellow, even
+though the fact may be interesting; and, on the other hand, with what
+pleasure you attend to the relation of a much less interesting matter,
+when elegantly expressed, genteelly turned, and gracefully delivered.
+By attending carefully to all these agremens in your daily conversation,
+they will become habitual to you, before you come into parliament; and
+you will have nothing then, to do, but to raise them a little when you
+come there.  I would wish you to be so attentive to this object, that I,
+would not have you speak to your footman, but in the very best words that
+the subject admits of, be the language what it will.  Think of your
+words, and of their arrangement, before you speak; choose the most
+elegant, and place them in the best order.  Consult your own ear, to
+avoid cacophony, and, what is very near as bad, monotony.  Think also of
+your gesture and looks, when you are speaking even upon the most trifling
+subjects.  The same things, differently expressed, looked, and delivered,
+cease to be the same things.  The most passionate lover in the world
+cannot make a stronger declaration of love than the 'Bourgeois
+gentilhomme' does in this happy form of words, 'Mourir d'amour me font
+belle Marquise vos beaux yeux'.  I defy anybody to say more; and yet I
+would advise nobody to say that, and I would recommend to you rather to
+smother and conceal your passion entirely than to reveal it in these
+words.  Seriously, this holds in everything, as well as in that ludicrous
+instance.  The French, to do them justice, attend very minutely to the
+purity, the correctness, and the elegance of their style in conversation
+and in their letters.  'Bien narrer' is an object of their study; and
+though they sometimes carry it to affectation, they never sink into
+inelegance, which is much the worst extreme of the two.  Observe them,
+and form your French style upon theirs: for elegance in one language will
+reproduce itself in all.  I knew a young man, who, being just elected a
+member of parliament, was laughed at for being discovered, through the
+keyhole of his chamber-door, speaking to himself in the glass, and
+forming his looks and gestures.  I could not join in that laugh; but, on
+the contrary, thought him much wiser than those who laughed at him; for
+he knew the importance of those little graces in a public assembly, and
+they did not.  Your little person (which I am told, by the way, is not
+ill turned), whether in a laced coat or a blanket, is specifically the
+same; but yet, I believe, you choose to wear the former, and you are in
+the right, for the sake of pleasing more.  The worst-bred man in Europe,
+if a lady let fall her fan, would certainly take it up and give it her;
+the best-bred man in Europe could do no more.  The difference, however,
+would be considerable; the latter would please by doing it gracefully;
+the former would be laughed at for doing it awkwardly.  I repeat it, and
+repeat it again, and shall never cease repeating it to you: air, manners,
+graces, style, elegance, and all those ornaments, must now be the only
+objects of your attention; it is now, or never, that you must acquire
+them.  Postpone, therefore, all other considerations; make them now your
+serious study; you have not one moment to lose.  The solid and the
+ornamental united, are undoubtedly best; but were I reduced to make an
+option, I should without hesitation choose the latter.
+
+I hope you assiduously frequent Marcell --[At that time the most
+celebrated dancing-master at Paris.]-- and carry graces from him; nobody
+had more to spare than he had formerly.  Have you learned to carve? for
+it is ridiculous not to carve well.  A man who tells you gravely that he
+cannot carve, may as well tell you that he cannot blow his nose: it is
+both as necessary, and as easy.
+
+Make my compliments to Lord Huntingdon, whom I love and honor extremely,
+as I dare say you do; I will write to him soon, though I believe he has
+hardly time to read a letter; and my letters to those I love are, as you
+know by experience, not very short ones: this is one proof of it, and
+this would have been longer, if the paper had been so.  Good night then,
+my dear child.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXII
+
+LONDON, February 28, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  This epigram in Martial--
+
+               "Non amo te, Sabidi, nec possum dicere quare;
+               Hoc tantum possum dicere, non amo te"-----
+
+               [OR: "I do not love thee Dr. Fell
+               The reason why I cannot tell.
+               But this I know and know full well:
+               I do not love thee Dr. Fell."   D.W.]
+
+has puzzled a great many people, who cannot conceive how it is possible
+not to love anybody, and yet not to know the reason why.  I think I
+conceive Martial's meaning very clearly, though the nature of epigram,
+which is to be short, would not allow him to explain it more fully; and I
+take it to be this: O Sabidis, you are a very worthy deserving man; you
+have a thousand good qualities, you have a great deal of learning; I
+esteem, I respect, but for the soul of me I cannot love you, though I
+cannot particularly ,say why.  You are not aimable: you have not those
+engaging manners, those pleasing attentions, those graces, and that
+address, which are absolutely necessary to please, though impossible to
+define.  I cannot say it is this or that particular thing that hinders me
+from loving you; it is the whole together; and upon the whole you are not
+agreeable.
+
+How often have I, in the course of my life, found myself in this
+situation, with regard to many of my acquaintance, whom I have honored
+and respected, without being able to love.  I did not know why, because,
+when one is young, one does not take the trouble, nor allow one's self
+the time, to analyze one's sentiments and to trace them up to their
+source.  But subsequent observation and reflection have taught me why.
+There is a man, whose moral character, deep learning, and superior parts,
+I acknowledge, admire, and respect; but whom it is so impossible for me
+to love, that I am almost in a fever whenever I am in his company.  His
+figure (without being deformed) seems made to disgrace or ridicule the
+common structure of the human body.  His legs and arms are never in the
+position which, according to the situation of his body, they ought to be
+in, but constantly employed in committing acts of hostility upon the
+Graces.  He throws anywhere, but down his throat, whatever he means to
+drink, and only mangles what he means to carve.  Inattentive to all the
+regards of social life, he mistimes or misplaces everything.  He disputes
+with heat, and indiscriminately, mindless of the rank, character, and
+situation of those with whom he disputes; absolutely ignorant of the
+several gradations of familiarity or respect, he is exactly the same to
+his superiors, his equals, and his inferiors; and therefore, by a
+necessary consequence, absurd to two of the three.  Is it possible to
+love such a man?  No.  The utmost I can do for him, is to consider him as
+a respectable Hottentot. --[This 'mot' was aimed at Dr.  Johnson in
+retaliation for his famous letter.]
+
+I remember, that when I came from Cambridge, I had acquired, among the
+pedants of that illiberal seminary, a sauciness of literature, a turn to
+satire and contempt, and a strong tendency to argumentation and
+contradiction.  But I had been but a very little while in the world,
+before I found that this would by no means do; and I immediately adopted
+the opposite character; I concealed what learning I had; I applauded
+often, without approving; and I yielded commonly without conviction.
+'Suaviter in modo' was my law and my prophets; and if I pleased (between
+you and me) it was much more owing to that, than to any superior
+knowledge or merit of my own.  Apropos, the word PLEASING puts one always
+in mind of Lady Hervey; pray tell her, that I declare her responsible to
+me for your pleasing; that I consider her as a pleasing Falstaff, who not
+only pleases, herself, but is the cause of pleasing in others; that I
+know she can make anything of anybody; and that, as your governess, if
+she does not make you please, it must be only because she will not, and
+not because she cannot.  I hope you are 'dubois don't on en fait'; and if
+so, she is so good a sculptor, that I am sure she can give you whatever
+form she pleases.  A versatility of manners is as necessary in social, as
+a versatility of parts is in political life.  One must often yield, in
+order to prevail; one must humble one's self, to be exalted; one must,
+like St.  Paul, become all things to all men, to gain some; and, by the
+way, men are taken by the same means, 'mutatis mutandis', that women are
+gained--by gentleness, insinuation, and submission: and these lines of
+Mr. Dryden will hold to a minister as well as to a mistress:
+
+               "The prostrate lover, when he lowest lies,
+               But stoops to conquer, and but kneels to rise."
+
+In the course of the world, the qualifications of the chameleon are often
+necessary; nay, they must be carried a little further, and exerted a
+little sooner; for you should, to a certain degree, take the hue of
+either the man or the woman that you want, and wish to be upon terms
+with.  'A propos', have you yet found out at Paris, any friendly and
+hospitable Madame de Lursay, 'qui veut bien se charger du soin de vous
+eduquer'?  And have you had any occasion of representing to her, 'qu'elle
+faisoit donc des noeuds'?  But I ask your, pardon, Sir, for the
+abruptness of the question, and acknowledge that I am meddling with
+matters that are out of my department.  However, in matters of less
+importance, I desire to be 'de vos secrets le fidele depositaire'.  Trust
+me with the general turn and color of your amusements at Paris.  Is it
+'le fracas du grand monde, comedies, bals, operas, cour,' etc.?  Or is it
+'des petites societes, moins bruyantes, mais pas pour cela moins
+agreables'?  Where are you the most 'etabli'?  Where are you 'le petit
+Stanhope?  Voyez vous encore jour, a quelque arrangement honnete?  Have
+you made many acquaintances among the young Frenchmen who ride at your
+Academy; and who are they?  Send to me this sort of chit-chat in your
+letters, which, by the bye, I wish you would honor me with somewhat
+oftener.  If you frequent any of the myriads of polite Englishmen who
+infest Paris, who are they?  Have you finished with Abbe Nolet, and are
+you 'au fait' of all the properties and effects of air?.  Were I inclined
+to quibble, I would say, that the effects of air, at least, are best to
+be learned of Marcel.  If you have quite done with l'Abbes Nolet, ask my
+friend l'Abbe Sallier to recommend to you some meagre philomath, to teach
+you a little geometry and astronomy; not enough to absorb your attention
+and puzzle your intellects, but only enough not to be grossly ignorant of
+either.  I have of late been a sort of 'astronome malgre moi',
+by bringing in last Monday into the House of Lords a bill for reforming
+our present Calendar and taking the New Style.  Upon which occasion I was
+obliged to talk some astronomical jargon, of which I did not understand
+one word, but got it by heart, and spoke it by rote from a master.
+I wished that I had known a little more of it myself; and so much I would
+have you know.  But the great and necessary knowledge of all is, to know,
+yourself and others: this knowledge requires great attention and long
+experience; exert the former, and may you have the latter! Adieu!
+
+P. S.  I have this moment received your letters of the 27th February, and
+the 2d March, N. S.  The seal shall be done as soon as possible.  I am,
+glad that you are employed in Lord Albemarle's bureau; it will teach you,
+at least, the mechanical part of that business, such as folding,
+entering, and docketing letters; for you must not imagine that you are
+let into the 'fin fin' of the correspondence, nor indeed is it fit that
+you should, at, your age.  However, use yourself to secrecy as to the
+letters you either read or write, that in time you may be trusted with
+SECRET, VERY SECRET, SEPARATE, APART, etc.  I am sorry that this business
+interferes with your riding; I hope it is seldom; but I insist upon its
+not interfering with your dancing-master, who is at this time the most
+useful and necessary of all the masters you have or can have.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXIII
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: I mentioned to you, some time ago a sentence which I
+would most earnestly wish you always to retain in your thoughts, and
+observe in your conduct.  It is 'suaviter in modo, fortiter in re'
+[gentleness of manners, with firmness of mind  D.W.].  I do not know any
+one rule so unexceptionably useful and necessary in every part of life.
+I shall therefore take it for my text to-day, and as old men love
+preaching, and I have some right to preach to you, I here present you
+with my sermon upon these words.  To proceed, then, regularly and
+PULPITICALLY, I will first show you, my beloved, the necessary connection
+of the two members of my text 'suaviter in modo: fortiter in re'.  In the
+next place, I shall set forth the advantages and utility resulting from a
+strict observance of the precept contained in my text; and conclude with
+an application of the whole.  The 'suaviter in modo' alone would
+degenerate and sink into a mean, timid complaisance and passiveness, if
+not supported and dignified by the 'fortiter in re', which would also run
+into impetuosity and brutality, if not tempered and softened by the
+'suaviter in modo': however, they are seldom united.
+
+The warm, choleric man, with strong animal spirits, despises the
+'suaviter in modo', and thinks to, carry all before him by the 'fortiter
+in re'.  He may, possibly, by great accident, now and then succeed, when
+he has only weak and timid people to deal with; but his general fate will
+be, to shock offend, be hated, and fail.  On the other hand, the cunning,
+crafty man thinks to gain all his ends by the 'suaviter in modo' only; HE
+BECOMES ALL THINGS TO ALL MEN; he seems to have no opinion of his own,
+and servilely adopts the present opinion of the present person; he
+insinuates himself only into the esteem of fools, but is soon detected,
+and surely despised by everybody else.  The wise man (who differs as much
+from the cunning, as from the choleric man) alone joins the 'suaviter in
+modo' with the 'fortiter in re'.  Now to the advantages arising from the
+strict observance of this precept:
+
+If you are in authority, and have a right to command, your commands
+delivered 'suaviter in modo' will be willingly, cheerfully, and
+consequently well obeyed; whereas, if given only 'fortiter', that is
+brutally, they will rather, as Tacitus says, be interrupted than
+executed.  For my own part, if I bid my footman bring me a glass of wine,
+in a rough insulting manner, I should expect that, in obeying me, he
+would contrive to spill some of it upon me: and I am sure I should
+deserve it.  A cool, steady resolution should show that where you have a
+right to command you will be obeyed; but at the same time, a gentleness
+in the manner of enforcing that obedience should make it a cheerful one,
+and soften as much as possible the mortifying consciousness of
+inferiority.  If you are to ask a favor, or even to solicit your due, you
+must do it 'suaviter in modo', or you will give those who have a mind to
+refuse you, either a pretense to do it, by resenting the manner; but, on
+the other hand, you must, by a steady perseverance and decent
+tenaciousness, show the 'fortiter in re'.  The right motives are seldom
+the true ones of men's actions, especially of kings, ministers, and
+people in high stations; who often give to importunity and fear, what
+they would refuse to justice or to merit.  By the 'suaviter in modo'
+engage their hearts, if you can; at least prevent the pretense of offense
+but take care to show enough of the 'fortiter in re' to extort from their
+love of ease, or their fear, what you might in vain hope for from their
+justice or good-nature.  People in high life are hardened to the wants
+and distresses of mankind, as surgeons are to their bodily pains; they
+see and hear of them all day long, and even of so many simulated ones,
+that they do not know which are real, and which not.  Other sentiments
+are therefore to be applied to, than those of mere justice and humanity;
+their favor must be captivated by the 'suaviter in modo'; their love of
+ease disturbed by unwearied importunity, or their fears wrought upon by a
+decent intimation of implacable, cool resentment; this is the true
+'fortiter in re'.  This precept is the only way I know in the world of
+being loved without being despised, and feared without being hated.  It
+constitutes the dignity of character which every wise man must endeavor
+to establish.
+
+Now to apply what has been said, and so conclude.
+
+If you find that you have a hastiness in your temper, which unguardedly
+breaks out into indiscreet sallies, or rough expressions, to either your
+superiors, your equals, or your inferiors, watch it narrowly, check it
+carefully, and call the 'suaviter in modo' to your assistance: at the
+first impulse of passion, be silent till you can be soft.  Labor even to
+get the command of your countenance so well, that those emotions may not
+be read in it; a most unspeakable advantage in business!  On the other
+hand, let no complaisance, no gentleness of temper, no weak desire of
+pleasing on your part,--no wheedling, coaxing, nor flattery, on other
+people's,--make you recede one jot from any point that reason and
+prudence have bid you pursue; but return to the charge, persist,
+persevere, and you will find most things attainable that are possible.
+A yielding, timid meekness is always abused and insulted by the unjust
+and the unfeeling,; but when sustained by the 'fortiter in re', is always
+respected, commonly successful.  In your friendships and connections,
+as well as in your enmities, this rule is particularly useful; let your
+firmness and vigor preserve and invite attachments to you; but, at the
+same time, let your manner hinder the enemies of your friends and
+dependents from becoming yours; let your enemies be disarmed by the
+gentleness of your manner, but let them feel, at the same time, the
+steadiness of your just resentment; for there is a great difference
+between bearing malice, which is always ungenerous, and a resolute self-
+defense, which is always prudent and justifiable.  In negotiations with
+foreign ministers, remember the 'fortiter in re'; give up no point,
+accept of no expedient, till the utmost necessity reduces you to it,
+and even then, dispute the ground inch by inch; but then, while you are
+contending with the minister 'fortiter in re', remember to gain the man
+by the 'suaviter in modo'.  If you engage his heart, you have a fair
+chance for imposing upon his understanding, and determining his will.
+Tell him, in a frank, gallant manner, that your ministerial wrangles do
+not lessen your personal regard for his merit; but that, on the contrary,
+his zeal and ability in the service of his master, increase it; and that,
+of all things, you desire to make a good friend of so good a servant.
+By these means you may, and will very often be a gainer: you never can be
+a loser.  Some people cannot gain upon themselves to be easy and civil to
+those who are either their rivals, competitors, or opposers, though,
+independently of those accidental circumstances, they would like and
+esteem them.  They betray a shyness and an awkwardness in company with
+them, and catch at any little thing to expose them; and so, from
+temporary and only occasional opponents, make them their personal
+enemies.  This is exceedingly weak and detrimental, as indeed is all
+humor in business; which can only be carried on successfully by,
+unadulterated good policy and right reasoning.  In such situations I
+would be more particularly and 'noblement', civil, easy, and frank with
+the man whose designs I traversed: this is commonly called generosity and
+magnanimity, but is, in truth, good sense and policy.  The manner is
+often as important as the matter, sometimes more so; a favor may make an
+enemy, and an injury may make a friend, according to the different manner
+in which they are severally done.  The countenance, the address, the
+words, the enunciation, the Graces, add great efficacy to the 'suaviter
+in modo', and great dignity to the 'fortiter in re', and consequently
+they deserve the utmost attention.
+
+From what has been said, I conclude with this observation, that
+gentleness of manners, with firmness of mind, is a short, but full
+description of human perfection on this side of religious and moral
+duties.  That you may be seriously convinced of this truth, and show it
+in your life and conversation, is the most sincere and ardent wish of,
+Yours.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXIV
+
+LONDON, March 11, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  I received by the last post a letter from Abbe Guasco,
+in which he joins his representations to those of Lord Albemarle, against
+your remaining any longer in your very bad lodgings at the Academy; and,
+as I do not find that any advantage can arise to you from being 'interne'
+in an academy which is full as far from the riding-house and from all
+your other masters, as your lodgings will probably be, I agree to your
+removing to an 'hotel garni'; the Abbe will help you to find one, as I
+desire him by the inclosed, which you will give him.  I must, however,
+annex one condition to your going into private lodgings, which is an
+absolute exclusion of English breakfasts and suppers at them; the former
+consume the whole morning, and the latter employ the evenings very ill,
+in senseless toasting a l'Angloise in their infernal claret.  You will be
+sure to go to the riding-house as often as possible, that is, whenever
+your new business at Lord Albemarle's does not hinder you.  But, at all
+events, I insist upon your never missing Marcel, who is at present of
+more consequence to you than all the bureaux in Europe; for this is the
+time for you to acquire 'tous ces petits riens', which, though in an
+arithmetical account, added to one another 'ad infinitum', they would
+amount to nothing, in the account of the world amount to a great and
+important sum.  'Les agremens et les graces', without which you will
+never be anything, are absolutely made up of all those 'riens', which are
+more easily felt than described.  By the way, you may take your lodgings
+for one whole year certain, by which means you may get them much cheaper;
+for though I intend to see you here in less than a year, it will be but
+for a little time, and you will return to Paris again, where I intend you
+shall stay till the end of April twelvemonth, 1752, at which time,
+provided you have got all 'la politesse, les manieres, les attentions, et
+les graces du beau monde', I shall place you in some business suitable to
+your destination.
+
+I have received, at last, your present of the cartoon, from Dominichino,
+by Planchet.  It is very finely done, it is pity that he did not take in
+all the figures of the original.  I will hang it up, where it shall be
+your own again some time or other.
+
+Mr. Harte is returned in perfect health from Cornwall, and has taken
+possession of his prebendal house at Windsor, which is a very pretty one.
+As I dare say you will always feel, I hope you will always express, the
+strongest sentiments of gratitude and friendship for him.  Write to him
+frequently, and attend to the letters you receive from him.  He shall be
+with us at Blackheath, alias BABIOLE, all the time that I propose you
+shall be there, which I believe will be the month of August next.
+
+Having thus mentioned to you the probable time of our meeting, I will
+prepare you a little for it.  Hatred; jealousy, or envy, make, most
+people attentive to discover the least defects of those they do not love;
+they rejoice at every new discovery they make of that kind, and take care
+to publish it.  I thank God, I do not know what those three ungenerous
+passions are, having never felt them in my own breast; but love has just
+the same effect upon me, except that I conceal, instead of publishing,
+the defeats which my attention makes me discover in those I love.  I
+curiously pry into them; I analyze them; and, wishing either to find them
+perfect, or to make them so, nothing escapes me, and I soon discover
+every the least gradation toward or from that perfection.  You must
+therefore expect the most critical 'examen' that ever anybody underwent.
+I shall discover your least, as well as your greatest defects, and I
+shall very freely tell you of them, 'Non quod odio habeam sed quod amem'.
+But I shall tell them you 'tete-a-tete', and as MICIO not as DEMEA; and I
+will tell them to nobody else.  I think it but fair to inform you
+beforehand, where I suspect that my criticisms are likely to fall; and
+that is more upon the outward, than upon the inward man; I neither
+suspect your heart nor your head; but to be plain with you, I have a
+strange distrust of your air, your address, your manners, your
+'tournure', and particularly of your ENUNCIATION and elegance of style.
+These will be all put to the trial; for while you are with me, you must
+do the honors of my house and table; the least inaccuracy or inelegance
+will not escape me; as you will find by a LOOK at the time, and by a
+remonstrance afterward when we are alone.  You will see a great deal of
+company of all sorts at BABIOLE, and particularly foreigners.  Make,
+therefore, in the meantime, all these exterior and ornamental
+qualifications your peculiar care, and disappoint all my imaginary
+schemes of criticism.  Some authors have criticised their own works
+first, in hopes of hindering others from doing it afterward: but then
+they do it themselves with so much tenderness and partiality for their
+own production, that not only the production itself, but the preventive
+criticism is criticised.  I am not one of those authors; but, on the
+contrary, my severity increases with my fondness for my work; and if you
+will but effectually correct all the faults I shall find, I will insure
+you from all subsequent criticisms from other quarters.
+
+Are you got a little into the interior, into the constitution of things
+at Paris?  Have you seen what you have seen thoroughly?  For, by the way,
+few people see what they see, or hear what they hear.  For example, if
+you go to les Invalides, do you content yourself with seeing the
+building, the hall where three or four hundred cripples dine, and the
+galleries where they lie? or do you inform yourself of the numbers, the
+conditions of their admission, their allowance, the value and nature of
+the fund by which the whole is supported?  This latter I call seeing, the
+former is only starting.  Many people take the opportunity of 'les
+vacances', to go and see the, empty rooms where the several chambers of
+the parliament did sit; which rooms are exceedingly like all other large
+rooms; when you go there, let it be when they are full; see and hear what
+is doing in them; learn their respective constitutions, jurisdictions,
+objects, and methods of proceeding; hear some causes tried in every one
+of the different chambers; 'Approfondissez les choses'.
+
+I am glad to hear that you are so well at Marquis de St. Germain's,
+--[At that time Ambassador from the King of Sardinia at the Court of
+France.]-- of whom I hear a very good character.  How are you with the
+other foreign ministers at Paris?  Do you frequent the Dutch Ambassador
+or Ambassadress?  Have you any footing at the Nuncio's, or at the
+Imperial and Spanish ambassadors?  It is useful.  Be more particular in
+your letters to me, as to your manner of passing your time, and the
+company you keep.  Where do you dine and sup oftenest? whose house is
+most your home?  Adieu.  'Les Graces, les Graces'.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXV
+
+LONDON, March 18, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: I acquainted you in a former letter, that I had brought a
+bill into the House of Lords for correcting and reforming our present
+calendar, which is the Julian, and for adopting the Gregorian.  I will
+now give you a more particular account of that affair; from which
+reflections will naturally occur to you that I hope may be useful, and
+which I fear you have not made.  It was notorious, that the Julian
+calendar was erroneous, and had overcharged the solar year with eleven
+days.  Pope Gregory the Thirteenth corrected this error; his reformed
+calendar was immediately received by all the Catholic powers of Europe,
+and afterward adopted by all the Protestant ones, except Russia, Sweden,
+and England.  It was not, in my opinion, very honorable for England to
+remain, in a gross and avowed error, especially in such company; the
+inconveniency of it was likewise felt by all those who had foreign
+correspondences, whether political or mercantile.  I determined,
+therefore, to attempt the reformation; I consulted the best lawyers and
+the most skillful astronomers, and we cooked up a bill for that purpose.
+But then my difficulty began: I was to bring in this bill, which was
+necessarily composed of law jargon and astronomical calculations, to both
+which I am an utter stranger.  However, it was absolutely necessary to
+make the House of Lords think that I knew something of the matter; and
+also to make them believe that they knew something of it themselves,
+which they do not.  For my own part, I could just as soon have talked
+Celtic or Sclavonian to them as astronomy, and they would have understood
+me full as well: so I resolved to do better than speak to the purpose,
+and to please instead of informing them.  I gave them, therefore, only an
+historical account of calendars, from the Egyptian down to the Gregorian,
+amusing them now and then with little episodes; but I was particularly
+attentive to the choice of my words, to the harmony and roundness of my
+periods, to my elocution, to my action.  This succeeded, and ever will
+succeed; they thought I informed, because I pleased them; and many of
+them said that I had made the whole very clear to them; when, God knows,
+I had not even attempted it.  Lord Macclesfield, who had the greatest
+share in forming the bill, and who is one of the greatest mathematicians
+and astronomers in Europe, spoke afterward with infinite knowledge, and
+all the clearness that so intricate a matter would admit of: but as his
+words, his periods, and his utterance, were not near so good as mine,
+the preference was most unanimously, though most unjustly, given to me.
+This will ever be the case; every numerous assembly is MOB, let the
+individuals who compose it be what they will.  Mere reason and good sense
+is never to be talked to a mob; their passions, their sentiments, their
+senses, and their seeming interests, are alone to be applied to.
+Understanding they have collectively none, but they have ears and eyes,
+which must be flattered and seduced; and this can only be done by
+eloquence, tuneful periods, graceful action, and all the various parts of
+oratory.
+
+When you come into the House of Commons, if you imagine that speaking
+plain and unadorned sense and reason will do your business, you will find
+yourself most grossly mistaken.  As a speaker, you will be ranked only
+according to your eloquence, and by no means according to your matter;
+everybody knows the matter almost alike, but few can adorn it.  I was
+early convinced of the importance and powers of eloquence; and from that
+moment I applied myself to it.  I resolved not to utter one word, even in
+common conversation, that should not be the most expressive and the most
+elegant that the language could supply me with for that purpose; by which
+means I have acquired such a certain degree of habitual eloquence, that I
+must now really take some pains, if, I would express myself very
+inelegantly.  I want to inculcate this known truth into you, which, you
+seem by no means to be convinced of yet, that ornaments are at present
+your only objects.  Your sole business now is to shine, not to weigh.
+Weight without lustre is lead.  You had better talk trifles elegantly to
+the most trifling woman, than coarse in elegant sense to the most solid
+man; you had better, return a dropped fan genteelly, than give a thousand
+pounds awkwardly; and you had better refuse a favor gracefully, than to
+grant it clumsily.  Manner is all, in everything: it is by manner only
+that you can please, and consequently rise.  All your Greek will never
+advance you from secretary to envoy, or from envoy to ambassador; but
+your address, your manner, your air, if good, very probably may.  Marcel
+can be of much more use to you than Aristotle. I would, upon my word,
+much rather that you had Lord Bolingbroke's style and eloquence in
+speaking and writing, than all the learning of the Academy of Sciences,
+the Royal Society, and the two Universities united.
+
+Having mentioned Lord Bolingbroke's style, which is, undoubtedly,
+infinitely superior to anybody's, I would have you read his works, which
+you have, over and-over again, with particular attention to his style.
+Transcribe, imitate, emulate it, if possible: that would be of real use
+to you in the House of Commons, in negotiations, in conversation; with
+that, you may justly hope to please, to persuade, to seduce, to impose;
+and you will fail in those articles, in proportion as you fall short of
+it.  Upon the whole, lay aside, during your year's residence at Paris,
+all thoughts of all that dull fellows call solid, and exert your utmost
+care to acquire what people of fashion call shining.  'Prenez l'eclat et
+le brillant d'un galant homme'.
+
+Among the commonly called little things, to which you, do not attend,
+your handwriting is one, which is indeed shamefully bad and illiberal;
+it is neither the hand of a man of business, nor of a gentleman, but of
+a truant school-boy; as soon, therefore, as you have done with Abbe
+Nolet, pray get an excellent writing-master (since you think that you
+cannot teach yourself to write what hand you please), and let him teach
+you to write a genteel, legible, liberal hand, and quick; not the hand of
+a procureur or a writing-master, but that sort of hand in which the first
+'Commis' in foreign bureaus commonly write; for I tell you truly, that
+were I Lord Albemarle, nothing should remain in my bureau written in your
+present hand.  From hand to arms the transition is natural; is the
+carriage and motion of your arms so too?  The motion of the arms is the
+most material part of a man's air, especially in dancing; the feet are
+not near so material.  If a man dances well from the waist upward, wears
+his hat well, and moves his head properly, he dances well.  Do the women
+say that you dress well? for that is necessary too for a young fellow.
+Have you 'un gout vif', or a passion for anybody?  I do not ask for whom:
+an Iphigenia would both give you the desire, and teach you the means to
+please.
+
+In a fortnight or three weeks you will see Sir Charles Hotham at Paris,
+in his way to Toulouse, where he is to stay a year or two.  Pray be very
+civil to him, but do not carry him into company, except presenting him to
+Lord Albemarle; for, as he is not to stay at Paris above a week, we do
+not desire that he should taste of that dissipation: you may show him a
+play and an opera.  Adieu, my dear child.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXVI
+
+LONDON, March 25, O. S. 1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  What a happy period of your life is this?  Pleasure is
+now, and ought to be, your business.  While you were younger, dry rules,
+and unconnected words, were the unpleasant objects of your labors.  When
+you grow older, the anxiety, the vexations, the disappointments
+inseparable from public business, will require the greatest share of your
+time and attention; your pleasures may, indeed, conduce to your business,
+and your business will quicken your pleasures; but still your time must,
+at least, be divided: whereas now it is wholly your own, and cannot be so
+well employed as in the pleasures of a gentleman.  The world is now the
+only book you want, and almost the only one you ought to read: that
+necessary book can only be read in company, in public places, at meals,
+and in 'ruelles'.  You must be in the pleasures, in order to learn the
+manners of good company. In premeditated, or in formal business, people
+conceal, or at least endeavor to conceal, their characters: whereas
+pleasures discover them, and the heart breaks out through the guard of
+the understanding.  Those are often propitious moments for skillful
+negotiators to improve.  In your destination particularly, the able
+conduct of pleasures is of infinite use; to keep a good table, and to do
+the honors of it gracefully, and 'sur le ton de la bonne compagnie',
+is absolutely necessary for a foreign minister.  There is a certain light
+table chit-chat, useful to keep off improper and too serious subjects,
+which is only to be learned in the pleasures of good company.  In truth
+it may be trifling; but, trifling as it is, a man of parts and experience
+of the world will give an agreeable turn to it.  'L'art de badiner
+agreablement' is by no means to be despised.
+
+An engaging address, and turn to gallantry, is often of very great
+service to foreign ministers.  Women have, directly or indirectly; a good
+deal to say in most courts.  The late Lord Strafford governed, for a
+considerable time, the Court of Berlin and made his own fortune, by being
+well with Madame de Wartenberg, the first King of Prussia's mistress.
+I could name many other instances of that kind.  That sort of agreeable
+'caquet de femmes', the necessary fore-runners of closer conferences, is
+only to be got by frequenting women of the first fashion, 'et, qui
+donnent le ton'.  Let every other book then give way to this great and
+necessary book, the world, of which there are so many various readings,
+that it requires a great deal of time and attention to under stand it
+well: contrary to all other books, you must not stay home, but go abroad
+to read it; and when you seek it abroad, you will not find it in
+booksellers' shops and stalls, but in courts, in hotels, at
+entertainments, balls, assemblies, spectacles, etc.  Put yourself upon
+the footing of an easy, domestic, but polite familiarity and intimacy in
+the several French houses to which you have been introduced: Cultivate
+them, frequent them, and show a desire of becoming 'enfant de la maison'.
+Get acquainted as much as you can with 'les gens de cour'; and observe,
+carefully, how politely they can differ, and how civilly they can hate;
+how easy and idle they can seem in the multiplicity of their business;
+and how they can lay hold of the proper moments to carry it on, in the
+midst of their pleasures.  Courts, alone, teach versatility and
+politeness; for there is no living there without them.  Lord Albermarle
+has, I hear, and am very glad of it, put you into the hands of Messieurs
+de Bissy.  Profit of that, and beg of them to let you attend them in all
+the companies of Versailles and Paris.  One of them, at least, will
+naturally carry you to Madame de la Valiores, unless he is discarded by
+this time, and Gelliot --[A famous opera-singer at Paris.]-- retaken.
+Tell them frankly, 'que vous cherchez a vous former, que vous etes en
+mains de maitres, s'ils veulent bien s'en donner la peine'.  Your
+profession has this agreeable peculiarity in it, which is, that it is
+connected with, and promoted by pleasures; and it is the only one in
+which a thorough knowledge of the world, polite manners, and an engaging
+address, are absolutely necessary.  If a lawyer knows his law, a parson
+his divinity, and a financier his calculations, each may make a figure
+and a fortune in his profession, without great knowledge of the world,
+and without the manners of gentlemen.  But your profession throws you
+into all the intrigues and cabals, as well as pleasures, of courts: in
+those windings and labyrinths, a knowledge of the world, a discernment of
+characters, a suppleness and versatility of mind, and an elegance of
+manners, must be your clue; you must know how to soothe and lull the
+monsters that guard, and how to address and gain the fair that keep,
+the golden fleece.  These are the arts and the accomplishments absolutely
+necessary for a foreign minister; in which it must be owned, to our
+shame, that most other nations outdo the English; and, 'caeteris
+paribus', a French minister will get the better of an English one at any
+third court in Europe.  The French have something more 'liant', more
+insinuating and engaging in their manner, than we have.  An English
+minister shall have resided seven years at a court, without having made
+any one personal connection there, or without being intimate and domestic
+in any one house.  He is always the English minister, and never
+naturalized.  He receives his orders, demands an audience, writes an
+account of it to his Court, and his business is done.  A French minister,
+on the contrary, has not been six weeks at a court without having, by a
+thousand little attentions, insinuated himself into some degree of favor
+with the Prince, his wife, his mistress, his favorite, and his minister.
+He has established himself upon a familiar and domestic footing in a
+dozen of the best houses of the place, where he has accustomed the people
+to be not only easy, but unguarded, before him; he makes himself at home
+there, and they think him so.  By these means he knows the interior of
+those courts, and can almost write prophecies to his own, from the
+knowledge he has of the characters, the humors, the abilities, or the
+weaknesses of the actors.  The Cardinal d'Ossat was looked upon at Rome
+as an Italian, and not as a French cardinal; and Monsieur d'Avaux,
+wherever he went, was never considered as a foreign minister, but as a
+native, and a personal friend.  Mere plain truth, sense, and knowledge,
+will by no means do alone in courts; art and ornaments must come to their
+assistance.  Humors must be flattered; the 'mollia tempora' must be
+studied and known: confidence acquired by seeming frankness, and profited
+of by silent skill.  And, above all; you must gain and engage the heart,
+to betray the understanding to you.  'Ha tibi erunt artes'.
+
+The death of the Prince of Wales, who was more beloved for his affability
+and good-nature than esteemed for his steadiness and conduct, has given
+concern to many, and apprehensions to all.  The great difference of the
+ages of the King and Prince George presents the prospect of a minority;
+a disagreeable prospect for any nation!  But it is to be hoped, and is
+most probable, that the King, who is now perfectly recovered of his late
+indisposition, may live to see his grandson of age.  He is, seriously, a
+most hopeful boy: gentle and good-natured, with good sound sense.  This
+event has made all sorts of people here historians, as well as
+politicians.  Our histories are rummaged for all the particular
+circumstances of the six minorities we have had since the Conquest, viz,
+those of Henry III., Edward III., Richard II., Henry VI., Edward V., and
+Edward VI.; and the reasonings, the speculations, the conjectures, and
+the predictions, you will easily imagine, must be innumerable and
+endless, in this nation, where every porter is a consummate politician.
+Dr. Swift says, very humorously, that "Every man knows that he
+understands religion and politics, though he never learned them; but that
+many people are conscious that they do not understand many other
+sciences, from having never learned them."  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXVI1
+
+LONDON, April 7, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  Here you have, altogether, the pocketbooks, the
+compasses, and the patterns.  When your three Graces have made their
+option, you need only send me, in a letter small pieces of the three
+mohairs they fix upon.  If I can find no way of sending them safely and
+directly to Paris, I will contrive to have them left with Madame Morel,
+at Calais, who, being Madame Monconseil's agent there, may find means of
+furthering them to your three ladies, who all belong to your friend
+Madame Monconseil.  Two of the three, I am told, are handsome; Madame
+Polignac, I can swear, is not so; but, however, as the world goes, two
+out of three is a very good composition.
+
+You will also find in the packet a compass ring set round with little
+diamonds, which I advise you to make a present of to Abbe Guasco, who has
+been useful to you, and will continue to be so; as it is a mere bauble,
+you must add to the value of it by your manner of giving it him.  Show it
+him first, and, when he commends it, as probably he will, tell him that
+it is at his service, 'et que comme il est toujours par vole et par
+chemins, il est absolument necessaire qu'il ale une boussole'.  All those
+little gallantries depend entirely upon the manner of doing them; as, in
+truth, what does not?  The greatest favors may be done so awkwardly and
+bunglingly as to offend; and disagreeable things may be done so agreeably
+as almost to oblige.  Endeavor to acquire this great secret; it exists,
+it is to be found, and is worth a great deal more than the grand secret
+of the alchemists would be if it were, as it is not, to be found.  This
+is only to be learned in courts, where clashing views, jarring opinions,
+and cordial hatreds, are softened and kept within decent bounds by
+politeness and manners.  Frequent, observe, and learn courts.  Are you
+free of that of St. Cloud?  Are you often at Versailles?  Insinuate and
+wriggle yourself into favor at those places.  L'Abbe de la Ville, my old
+friend, will help you at the latter; your three ladies may establish you
+in the former.  The good-breeding 'de la ville et de la cour' [of the
+city and of the court] are different; but without deciding which is
+intrinsically the best, that of the court is, without doubt, the most
+necessary for you, who are to live, to grow, and to rise in courts.  In
+two years' time, which will be as soon as you are fit for it, I hope to
+be able to plant you in the soil of a YOUNG COURT here: where, if you
+have all the address, the suppleness and versatility of a good courtier,
+you will have a great chance of thriving and flourishing.  Young favor is
+easily acquired if the proper means are employed; and, when acquired, it
+is warm, if not durable; and the warm moments must be snatched and
+improved.  'Quitte pour ce qui en pent arriver apres'.  Do not mention
+this view of mine for you to any one mortal; but learn to keep your own
+secrets, which, by the way, very few people can do.
+
+If your course of experimental philosophy with Abbe Nolot is over, I
+would have you apply to Abbe Sallier, for a master to give you a general
+notion of astronomy and geometry; of both of which you may know as much,
+as I desire you should, in six months' time.  I only desire that you
+should have a clear notion of the present planetary system, and the
+history of all the former systems.  Fontenelle's 'Pluralites des Mondes'
+will almost teach you all you need know upon that subject.  As for
+geometry, the seven first books of Euclid will be a sufficient portion of
+it for you.  It is right to have a general notion of those abstruse
+sciences, so as not to appear quite ignorant of them, when they happen,
+as sometimes they do, to be the topics of conversation; but a deep
+knowledge of them requires too much time, and engrosses the mind too
+much.  I repeat it again and again to you, Let the great book of the
+world be your principal study.  'Nocturna versate manu, versate diurna';
+which may be rendered thus in English: Turn Over MEN BY DAY, AND WOMEN BY
+NIGHT.  I mean only the best editions.
+
+Whatever may be said at Paris of my speech upon the bill for the
+reformation of the present calendar, or whatever applause it may have met
+with here, the whole, I can assure you, is owing to the words and to the
+delivery, but by no means to the matter; which, as I told you in a former
+letter, I was not master of.  I mention this again, to show you the
+importance of well-chosen words, harmonious periods, and good delivery;
+for, between you and me, Lord Macclefield's speech was, in truth, worth a
+thousand of mine.  It will soon be printed, and I will send it you.  It
+is very instructive.  You say, that you wish to speak but half as well as
+I did; you may easily speak full as well as ever I did, if you will but
+give the same attention to the same objects that I did at your age, and
+for many years afterward; I mean correctness, purity, and elegance of
+style, harmony of periods, and gracefulness of delivery.  Read over and
+over again the third book of 'Cicero de Oratore', in which he
+particularly treats of the ornamental parts of oratory; they are indeed
+properly oratory, for all the rest depends only upon common sense, and
+some knowledge of the subject you speak upon.  But if you would please,
+persuade, and prevail in speaking, it must be by the ornamental parts of
+oratory.  Make them therefore habitual to you; and resolve never to say
+the most common things, even to your footman, but in the best words you
+can find, and with the best utterance.  This, with 'les manieres, la
+tournure, et les usages du beau monde', are the only two things you want;
+fortunately, they are both in your power; may you have them both!  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXVIII
+
+LONDON, April 15, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  What success with the graces, and in the
+accomplishments, elegancies, and all those little nothings so
+indispensably necessary to constitute an amiable man?  Do you take them,
+do you make a progress in them?  The great secret is the art of pleasing;
+and that art is to be attained by every man who has a good fund of common
+sense.  If you are pleased with any person, examine why; do as he does;
+and you will charm others by the same things which please you in him.
+To be liked by women, you must be esteemed by men; and to please men, you
+must be agreeable to women.  Vanity is unquestionably the ruling passion
+in women; and it is much flattered by the attentions of a man who is
+generally esteemed by men; when his merit has received the stamp of their
+approbation, women make it current, that is to say, put him in fashion.
+On the other hand, if a man has not received the last polish from women,
+he may be estimable among men, but will never be amiable.  The
+concurrence of the two sexes is as necessary to the perfection of our
+being, as to the formation of it.  Go among women with the good qualities
+of your sex, and you will acquire from them the softness and the graces
+of theirs.  Men will then add affection to the esteem which they before
+had for you. Women are the only refiners of the merit of men; it is true,
+they cannot add weight, but they polish and give lustre to it.  'A
+propos', I am assured, that Madame de Blot, although she has no great
+regularity of features, is, notwithstanding, excessively pretty; and
+that, for all that, she has as yet been scrupulously constant to her
+husband, though she has now been married above a year.  Surely she does
+not reflect, that woman wants polishing.  I would have you polish one
+another reciprocally.  Force, assiduities, attentions, tender looks, and
+passionate declarations, on your side will produce some irresolute
+wishes, at least, on hers; and when even the slightest wishes arise, the
+rest will soon follow.
+
+As I take you to be the greatest 'juris peritus' and politician of the
+whole Germanic body, I suppose you will have read the King of Prussia's
+letter to the Elector of Mayence, upon the election of a King of the
+Romans; and on the other side, a memorial entitled, IMPARTIAL
+REPRESENTATION OF WHAT IS JUST WITH REGARD TO THE ELECTION OF A KING
+OF
+THE ROMANS, etc.  The first is extremely well written, but not grounded
+upon the laws and customs of the empire.  The second is very ill written
+(at least in French), but well grounded.  I fancy the author is some
+German, who has taken into his head that he understands French.  I am,
+however, persuaded that the elegance and delicacy of the King of
+Prussia's letter will prevail with two-thirds of the public, in spite of
+the solidity and truth contained in the other piece.  Such is the force
+of an elegant and delicate style!
+
+I wish you would be so good as to give me a more particular and
+circumstantial account of the method of passing your time at Paris.
+For instance, where it is that you dine every Friday, in company with
+that amiable and respectable old man, Fontenelle?  Which is the house
+where you think yourself at home?  For one always has such a one, where
+one is better established, and more at ease than anywhere else.  Who are
+the young Frenchmen with whom you are most intimately connected?  Do you
+frequent the Dutch Ambassador's.  Have you penetrated yet into Count
+Caunitz's house?  Has Monsieur de Pignatelli the honor of being one of
+your humble servants?  And has the Pope's nuncio included you in the
+jubilee?  Tell me also freely how you are with Lord Huntingdon: Do you
+see him often?  Do you connect yourself with him?  Answer all these
+questions circumstantially in your first letter.
+
+I am told that Du Clos's book is not in vogue at Paris, and that it is
+violently criticised: I suppose that is because one understands it; and
+being intelligible is now no longer the fashion.  I have a very great
+respect for fashion, but a much greater for this book; which is, all at
+once, true, solid, and bright.  It contains even epigrams; what can one
+wish for more?
+
+Mr.------ will, I suppose, have left Paris by this time for his residence
+at Toulouse.  I hope he will acquire manners there; I am sure he wants
+them.  He is awkward, he is silent, and has nothing agreeable in his
+address,--most necessary qualifications to distinguish one's self in
+business, as well as in the POLITE WORLD!  In truth, these two things are
+so connected, that a man cannot make a figure in business, who is not
+qualified to shine in the great world; and to succeed perfectly in either
+the one or the other, one must be in 'utrumque paratus'.  May you be
+that, my dear friend! and so we wish you a good night.
+
+P. S.  Lord and Lady Blessington, with their son Lord Mountjoy, will be
+at Paris next week, in their way to the south of France; I send you a
+little packet of books by them.  Pray go wait upon them, as soon as you
+hear of their arrival, and show them all the attentions you can.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXIX
+
+LONDON, April 22, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: I apply to you now, as to the greatest virtuoso of this,
+or perhaps any other age; one whose superior judgment and distinguishing
+eye hindered the King of Poland from buying a bad picture at Venice, and
+whose decisions in the realms of 'virtu' are final, and without appeal.
+Now to the point.  I have had a catalogue sent me, 'd'une Trente a
+l'aimable de Tableaux des plus Grands Maitres, appartenans au Sieur
+Araignon Aperen, valet de chambre de la Reine, sur le quai de la
+Megisserie, au coin de Arche Marion'.  There I observe two large pictures
+of Titian, as described in the inclosed page of the catalogue, No. 18,
+which I should be glad to purchase upon two conditions: the first is,
+that they be undoubted originals of Titian, in good preservation; and the
+other that they come cheap.  To ascertain the first (but without
+disparaging your skill), I wish you would get some undoubted connoisseurs
+to examine them carefully: and if, upon such critical examination, they
+should be unanimously allowed to be undisputed originals of Titian, and
+well preserved, then comes the second point, the price: I will not go
+above two hundred pounds sterling for the two together; but as much less
+as you can get them for.  I acknowledge that two hundred pounds seems to
+be a very small sum for two undoubted Titians of that size; but, on the
+other hand, as large Italian pictures are now out of fashion at Paris,
+where fashion decides of everything, and as these pictures are too large
+for common rooms, they may possibly come within the price above limited.
+I leave the whole of this transaction (the price excepted, which I will
+not exceed) to your consummate skill and prudence, with proper advice
+joined to them.  Should you happen to buy them for that price, carry them
+to your own lodgings, and get a frame made to the second, which I observe
+has none, exactly the same with the other frame, and have the old one new
+gilt; and then get them carefully packed up, and sent me by Rouen.
+
+I hear much of your conversing with 'les beaux esprits' at Paris: I am
+very glad of it; it gives a degree of reputation, especially at Paris;
+and their conversation is generally instructive, though sometimes
+affected.  It must be owned, that the polite conversation of the men and
+women of fashion at Paris, though not always very deep, is much less
+futile and frivolous than ours here.  It turns at least upon some
+subject, something of taste, some point of history, criticism, and even
+philosophy; which, though probably not quite so solid as Mr. Locke's,
+is, however, better, and more becoming rational beings, than our
+frivolous dissertations upon the weather, or upon whist.  Monsieur du
+Clos observes, and I think very justly, 'qu'il y a a present en France
+une fermentation universelle de la raison qui tend a se developper'.
+Whereas, I am sorry to say, that here that fermentation seems to have
+been over some years ago, the spirit evaporated, and only the dregs left.
+Moreover, 'les beaux esprits' at Paris are commonly well-bred, which ours
+very frequently are not; with the former your manners will be formed;
+with the latter, wit must generally be compounded for at the expense of
+manners.  Are you acquainted with Marivaux, who has certainly studied,
+and is well acquainted with the heart; but who refines so much upon its
+'plis et replis', and describes them so affectedly, that he often is
+unintelligible to his readers, and sometimes so, I dare say, to himself?
+Do you know 'Crebillon le fils'?  He is a fine painter and a pleasing
+writer; his characters are admirable and his reflections just.  Frequent
+these people, and be glad, but not proud of frequenting them: never boast
+of it, as a proof of your own merit, nor insult, in a manner, other
+companies by telling them affectedly what you, Montesquieu and Fontenelle
+were talking of the other day; as I have known many people do here, with
+regard to Pope and Swift, who had never been twice in company with
+either; nor carry into other companies the 'ton' of those meetings of
+'beaux esprits'.  Talk literature, taste, philosophy, etc., with them,
+'a la bonne heure'; but then, with the same ease, and more 'enjouement',
+talk 'pom-pons, moires', etc., with Madame de Blot, if she requires it.
+Almost every subject in the world has its proper time and place; in which
+no one is above or below discussion.  The point is, to talk well upon the
+subject you talk upon; and the most trifling, frivolous subjects will
+still give a man of parts an opportunity of showing them.  'L'usage du
+grand monde' can alone teach that.  That was the distinguishing
+characteristic of Alcibiades, and a happy one it was, that he could
+occasionally, and with so much ease, adopt the most different, and even
+the most opposite habits and manners, that each seemed natural to him.
+Prepare yourself for the great world, as the 'athletae' used to do for
+their exercises: oil (if I may use that expression) your mind and your
+manners, to give them the necessary suppleness and flexibility; strength
+alone will not do, as young people are too apt to think.
+
+How do your exercises go on?  Can you manage a pretty vigorous 'sauteur'
+between the pillars?  Are you got into stirrups yet?  'Faites-vous assaut
+aux armes?  But, above all, what does Marcel say of you?  Is he
+satisfied?  Pray be more particular in your accounts of yourself, for
+though I have frequent accounts of you from others, I desire to have your
+own too.  Adieu.  Yours, truly and friendly.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXL
+
+LONDON, May 2, O. S.  1751
+
+DEAR FRIEND:  Two accounts, which I have very lately received of you,
+from two good judges, have put me into great spirits, as they have given
+me reasonable hopes that you will soon acquire all that I believe you
+want: I mean the air, the address; the graces, and the manners of a man
+of fashion.  As these two pictures of you are very unlike that which I
+received, and sent you some months ago, I will name the two painters:
+the first is an old friend and acquaintance of mine, Monsieur d'Aillon.
+His picture is, I hope, like you; for it is a very good one: Monsieur
+Tollot's is still a better, and so advantageous a one, that I will not
+send you a copy of it, for fear of making you too vain.  So far only I
+will tell you, that there was but one BUT in either of their accounts;
+and it was this: I gave d'Aillon the question ordinary and extraordinary,
+upon the important article of manners; and extorted this from him:
+"But, since you will know it, he still wants that last beautiful varnish,
+which raises the colors, and gives brilliancy to the piece.  Be persuaded
+that he will acquire it: he has too much sense not to know its value;
+and if I am not greatly mistaken, more persons than one are now
+endeavoring to give it him.  "Monsieur Tollot says: "In order to be
+exactly all that you wish him, he only wants those little nothings, those
+graces in detail, and that amiable ease, which can only be acquired by
+usage of the great world.  I am assured that he is, in that respect, in
+good hands.  I do not know whether that does not rather imply in fine
+arms."  Without entering into a nice discussion of the last question, I
+congratulate you and myself upon your being so near that point at which I
+so anxiously wish you to arrive.  I am sure that all your attention and
+endeavors will be exerted; and, if exerted, they will succeed.  Mr.
+Tollot says, that you are inclined to be fat, but I hope you will decline
+it as much as you can; not by taking anything corrosive to make you lean,
+but by taking as little as you can of those things that would make you
+fat.  Drink no chocolate; take your coffee without cream: you cannot
+possibly avoid suppers at Paris, unless you avoid company too, which I
+would by no means have you do; but eat as little at supper as you can,
+and make even an allowance for that little at your dinners.  Take
+occasionally a double dose of riding and fencing; and now that summer is
+come, walk a good deal in the Tuileries.  It is a real inconvenience to
+anybody to be fat, and besides it is ungraceful for a young fellow.  'A
+propos', I had like to have forgot to tell you, that I charged Tollot to
+attend particularly to your utterence and diction; two points of the
+utmost importance.  To the first he says: "His enunciation is not bad,
+but it is to be wished that it were still better; and he expresses
+himself with more fire than elegance.  Usage of good company will
+instruct him likewise in that."  These, I allow, are all little things,
+separately; but aggregately, they make a most important and great article
+in the account of a gentleman.  In the House of Commons you can never
+make a figure without elegance of style, and gracefulness of utterance;
+and you can never succeed as a courtier at your own Court, or as a
+minister at any other, without those innumerable 'petite riens dans les
+manieres, et dans les attentions'.  Mr. Yorke is by this time at Paris;
+make your court to him, but not so as to disgust, in the least, Lord
+Albemarle, who may possibly dislike your considering Mr. Yorke as the man
+of business, and him as only 'pour orner la scene'.  Whatever your
+opinion may be upon THAT POINT, take care not to let it appear; but be
+well with them both by showing no public preference to either.
+
+Though I must necessarily fall into repetitions by treating the same
+subject so often, I cannot help recommending to you again the utmost
+attention to your air and address.  Apply yourself now to Marcel's
+lectures, as diligently as you did formerly to Professor Mascow's; desire
+him to teach you every genteel attitude that the human body can be put
+into; let him make you go in and out of his room frequently, and present
+yourself to him, as if he were by turns different persons; such as a
+minister, a lady, a superior, an equal, and inferior, etc.  Learn to seat
+genteelly in different companies; to loll genteelly, and with good
+manners, in those companies where you are authorized to be free, and to
+sit up respectfully where the same freedom is not allowable.  Learn even
+to compose your countenance occasionally to the respectful, the cheerful,
+and the insinuating.  Take particular care that the motions of your hands
+and arms be easy and graceful; for the genteelness of a man consists more
+in them than in anything else, especially in his dancing.  Desire some
+women to tell you of any little awkwardness that they observe in your
+carriage; they are the best judges of those things; and if they are
+satisfied, the men will be so too.  Think now only of the decorations.
+Are you acquainted with Madame Geoffrain, who has a great deal of wit;
+and who, I am informed, receives only the very best company in her house?
+Do you know Madame du Pin, who, I remember, had beauty, and I hear has
+wit and reading?  I could wish you to converse only with those who,
+either from their rank, their merit, or their beauty, require constant
+attention; for a young man can never improve in company where he thinks
+he may neglect himself.  A new bow must be constantly kept bent; when it
+grows older, and has taken the right turn, it may now and then be
+relaxed.
+
+I have this moment paid your draft of L89 75s.; it was signed in a very
+good hand; which proves that a good hand may be written without the
+assistance of magic.  Nothing provokes me much more, than to hear people
+indolently say that they cannot do, what is in everybody's power to do,
+if it be but in their will.  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLI
+
+LONDON, May 6, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  The best authors are always the severest critics of
+their own works; they revise, correct, file, and polish them, till they
+think they have brought them to perfection.  Considering you as my work,
+I do not look upon myself as a bad author, and am therefore a severe
+critic.  I examine narrowly into the least inaccuracy or inelegance, in
+order to correct, not to expose them, and that the work may be perfect at
+last.  You are, I know, exceedingly improved in your air, address, and
+manners, since you have been at Paris; but still there is, I believe,
+room for further improvement before you come to that perfection which I
+have set my heart upon seeing you arrive at; and till that moment I must
+continue filing and polishing.  In a letter that I received by last post,
+from a friend of yours at Paris, there was this paragraph: "I have the
+honor to assure you, without flattery, that Mr. Stanhope succeeds beyond
+what might be expected from a person of his age.  He goes into very good
+company; and that kind of manner, which was at first thought to be too
+decisive and peremptory, is now judged otherwise; because it is
+acknowledged to be the effect of an ingenuous frankness, accompanied by
+politeness, and by a proper deference.  He studies to please, and
+succeeds.  Madame du Puisieux was the other day speaking of him with
+complacency and friendship.  You will be satisfied with him in all
+respects.  "This is extremely well, and I rejoice at it: one little
+circumstance only may, and I hope will, be altered for the better.  Take
+pains to undeceive those who thought that 'petit ton un peu delcide et un
+peu brusque'; as it is not meant so, let it not appear so.  Compose your
+countenance to an air of gentleness and 'douceur', use some expressions
+of diffidence of your own opinion, and deference to other people's; such
+as, "If I might be permitted to say--I should think--Is it not rather so?
+At least I have the greatest reason to be diffident of myself."  Such
+mitigating, engaging words do by no means weaken your argument; but, on
+the contrary, make it more powerful by making it more pleasing.  If it is
+a quick and hasty manner of speaking that people mistake 'pour decide et
+brusque', prevent their mistakes for the future by speaking more
+deliberately, and taking a softer tone of voice; as in this case you are
+free from the guilt, be free from the suspicion, too.  Mankind, as I have
+often told you, are more governed by appearances than by realities; and
+with regard to opinion, one had better be really rough and hard, with the
+appearance of gentleness and softness, than just the reverse.  Few people
+have penetration enough to discover, attention enough to observe, or even
+concern enough to examine beyond the exterior; they take their notions
+from the surface, and go no deeper: they commend, as the gentlest and
+best-natured man in the world, that man who has the most engaging
+exterior manner, though possibly they have been but once in his company.
+An air, a tone of voice, a composure of countenance to mildness and
+softness, which are all easily acquired, do the business: and without
+further examination, and possibly with the contrary qualities, that man
+is reckoned the gentlest, the modestest, and the best-natured , man
+alive.  Happy the man, who, with a certain fund of parts and knowledge,
+gets acquainted with the world early enough to make it his bubble, at an
+age when most people are the bubbles of the world! for that is the common
+case of youth.  They grow wiser when it is too late; and, ashamed and
+vexed at having been bubbles so long, too often turn knaves at last.  Do
+not therefore trust to appearances and outside yourself, but pay other
+people with them; because you may be sure that nine in ten of mankind do,
+and ever will trust to them.  This is by no means a criminal or blamable
+simulation, if not used with an ill intention.  I am by no means blamable
+in desiring to have other people's good word, good-will, and affection,
+if I do not mean to abuse them.  Your heart, I know, is good, your sense
+is sound, and your knowledge extensive.  What then remains for you to do?
+Nothing, but to adorn those fundamental qualifications, with such
+engaging and captivating manners, softness, and gentleness, as will
+endear you to those who are able to judge of your real merit, and which
+always stand in the stead of merit with those who are not.  I do not mean
+by this to recommend to you 'le fade doucereux', the insipid softness of
+a gentle fool; no, assert your own opinion, oppose other people's when
+wrong; but let your manner, your air, your terms, and your tone of voice,
+be soft and gentle, and that easily and naturally, not affectedly.  Use
+palliatives when you contradict; such as I MAY BE MISTAKEN, I AM NOT
+SURE, BUT I BELIEVE, I SHOULD RATHER THINK, etc.  Finish any argument or
+dispute with some little good-humored pleasantry, to show that you are
+neither hurt yourself, nor meant to hurt your antagonist; for an
+argument, kept up a good while, often occasions a temporary alienation on
+each side.  Pray observe particularly, in those French people who are
+distinguished by that character, 'cette douceur de moeurs et de
+manieres', which they talk of so much, and value so justly; see in what
+it consists; in mere trifles, and most easy to be acquired, where the
+heart is really good.  Imitate, copy it, till it becomes habitual and
+easy to you.  Without a compliment to you, I take it to be the only thing
+you now want: nothing will sooner give it you than a real passion, or, at
+least, 'un gout vif', for some woman of fashion; and, as I suppose that
+you have either the one or the other by this time, you are consequently
+in the best school.  Besides this, if you were to say to Lady Hervey,
+Madame Monconseil, or such others as you look upon to be your friends, It
+is said that I have a kind of manner which is rather too decisive and too
+peremptory; it is not, however, my intention that it should be so; I
+entreat you to correct, and even publicly to punish me whenever I am
+guilty.  Do not treat me with the least indulgence, but criticise to the
+utmost.  So clear-sighted a judge as you has a right to be severe; and I
+promise you that the criminal will endeavor to correct himself.
+Yesterday I had two of your acquaintances to dine with me, Baron B.  and
+his companion Monsieur S.  I cannot say of the former, 'qu'il est paitri
+de graces'; and I would rather advise him to go and settle quietly at
+home, than to think of improving himself by further travels.  'Ce n'est
+pas le bois don't on en fait'.  His companion is much better, though he
+has a strong 'tocco di tedesco'.  They both spoke well of you, and so far
+I liked them both.  How go you on with the amiable little Blot?  Does she
+listen to your Battering tale?  Are you numbered among the list of her
+admirers?  Is Madame------ your Madame de Lursay?  Does she sometimes
+knot, and are you her Meilcour?  They say she has softness, sense, and
+engaging manners; in such an apprenticeship much may be learned. --[This
+whole passage, and several others, allude to Crebillon's 'Egaremens du
+Coeur et de l'Esprit', a sentimental novel written about that time, and
+then much in vogue at Paris.
+
+A woman like her, who has always pleased, and often been pleased, can
+best teach the art of pleasing; that art, without which, 'ogni fatica
+vana'.  Marcel's lectures are no small part of that art: they are the
+engaging forerunner of all other accomplishments.  Dress is also an
+article not to be neglected, and I hope you do not neglect it; it helps
+in the 'premier abord', which is often decisive.  By dress, I mean your
+clothes being well made, fitting you, in the fashion and not above it;
+your hair well done, and a general cleanliness and spruceness in your
+person.  I hope you take infinite care of your teeth; the consequences of
+neglecting the mouth are serious, not only to one's self, but to others.
+In short, my dear child, neglect nothing; a little more will complete the
+whole.  Adieu.  I have not heard from you these three weeks, which I
+think a great while.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLII
+
+LONDON, May 10, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  I received yesterday, at the same time, your letters of
+the 4th and 11th, N. S., and being much more careful of my commissions
+than you are of yours, I do not delay one moment sending you my final
+instructions concerning the pictures.  The man you allow to be a Titian,
+and in good preservation; the woman is an indifferent and a damaged
+picture; but as I want them for furniture for a particular room,
+companions are necessary; and therefore I am willing to take the woman
+for better for worse, upon account of the man; and if she is not too much
+damaged, I can have her tolerably repaired, as many a fine woman is, by a
+skillful hand here; but then I expect that the lady should be, in a
+manner, thrown into the bargain with the man; and, in this state of
+affairs, the woman being worth little or nothing, I will not go above
+fourscore Louis for the two together.  As for the Rembrandt you mention,
+though it is very cheap, if good, I do not care for it.  I love 'la belle
+nature'; Rembrandt paints caricatures.  Now for your own commissions,
+which you seem to have forgotten.  You mention nothing of the patterns
+which you received by Monsieur Tollot, though I told you in a former
+letter, which you must have had before the date of your last, that I
+should stay till I received the patterns pitched upon by your ladies;
+for as to the instructions which you sent me in Madame Monconseil's hand,
+I could find no mohairs in London that exactly answered that description;
+I shall, therefore, wait till you send me (which you may easily do in a
+letter) the patterns chosen by your three graces.
+
+I would, by all means, have you go now and then, for two or three days,
+to Marechal Coigny's, at Orli; it is but a proper civility to that
+family, which has been particularly civil to you; and, moreover, I would
+have you familiarize yourself with, and learn the interior and domestic
+manners of, people of that rank and fashion.  I also desire that you will
+frequent Versailles and St. Cloud, at both of which courts you have been
+received with distinction.  Profit of that distinction, and familiarize
+yourself at both.  Great courts are the seats of true good-breeding; you
+are to live at courts, lose no time in learning them.  Go and stay
+sometimes at Versailles for three or four days, where you will be
+domestic in the best families, by means of your friend Madame de
+Puisieux; and mine, l'Abbe de la Ville.  Go to the King's and the
+Dauphin's levees, and distinguish yourself from the rest of your
+countrymen, who, I dare say, never go there when they can help it.
+Though the young Frenchmen of fashion may not be worth forming intimate
+connections with, they are well worth making acquaintance of; and I do
+not see how you can avoid it, frequenting so many good French houses as
+you do, where, to be sure, many of them come.  Be cautious how you
+contract friendships, but be desirous, and even industrious, to obtain a
+universal acquaintance.  Be easy, and even forward, in making new
+acquaintances; that is the only way of knowing manners and characters in
+general, which is, at present, your great object.  You are 'enfant de
+famille' in three ministers' houses; but I wish you had a footing, at
+least, in thirteen and that, I should think, you might easily bring
+about, by that common chain, which, to a certain degree, connects those
+you do not with those you do know.
+
+For instance, I suppose that neither Lord Albemarle, nor Marquis de St.
+Germain, would make the least difficulty to present you to Comte Caunitz,
+the Nuncio, etc.  'Il faut etre rompu du monde', which can only be done
+by an extensive, various, and almost universal acquaintance.
+
+When you have got your emaciated Philomath, I desire that his triangles,
+rhomboids, etc., may not keep you one moment out of the good company you
+would otherwise be in.  Swallow all your learning in the morning, but
+digest it in company in the evenings.  The reading of ten new characters
+is more your business now, than the reading of twenty old books; showish
+and shining people always get the better of all others, though ever so
+solid.  If you would be a great man in the world when you are old, shine
+and be showish in it while you are young, know everybody, and endeavor to
+please everybody, I mean exteriorly; for fundamentally it is impossible.
+Try to engage the heart of every woman, and the affections of almost
+every man you meet with.  Madame Monconseil assures me that you are most
+surprisingly improved in your air, manners, and address: go on, my dear
+child, and never think that you are come to a sufficient degree of
+perfection; 'Nil actum reputans, si quid superesset agendum'; and in
+those shining parts of the character of a gentleman, there is always
+something remaining to be acquired.  Modes and manners vary in different
+places, and at different times; you must keep pace with them, know them,
+and adopt them, wherever you find them.  The great usage of the world,
+the knowledge of characters, the brillant dun galant homme, is all that
+you now.  want.  Study Marcel and the 'beau monde' with great
+application, but read Homer and Horace only when you have nothing else to
+do.  Pray who is 'la belle Madame de Case', whom I know you frequent?
+I like the epithet given her very well: if she deserves it, she deserves
+your attention too.  A man of fashion should be gallant to a fine woman,
+though he does not make love to her, or may be otherwise engaged.
+On 'lui doit des politesses, on fait l'eloge de ses charmes, et il n'en
+est ni plus ni moins pour cela': it pleases, it flatters; you get their
+good word, and you lose nothing by it.  These 'gentillesses' should be
+accompanied, as indeed everything else should, with an air: 'un air, un
+ton de douceur et de politesse'.  Les graces must be of the party, or it
+will never do; and they are so easily had, that it is astonishing to me
+that everybody has them not; they are sooner gained than any woman of
+common reputation and decency.  Pursue them but with care and attention,
+and you are sure to enjoy them at last: without them, I am sure, you will
+never enjoy anybody else.  You observe, truly, that Mr.------ is gauche;
+it is to be hoped that will mend with keeping company; and is yet
+pardonable in him, as just come from school.  But reflect what you would
+think of a man, who had been any time in the world, and yet should be so
+awkward.  For God's sake, therefore, now think of nothing but shining,
+and even distinguishing yourself in the most polite courts, by your air,
+your address, your manners, your politeness, your 'douceur', your graces.
+With those advantages (and not without them) take my word for it, you
+will get the better of all rivals, in business as well as in 'ruelles'.
+Adieu.  Send me your patterns, by the next post, and also your
+instructions to Grevenkop about the seal, which you seem to have
+forgotten.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLIII
+
+LONDON, May 16, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: In about three months from this day, we shall probably
+meet.  I look upon that moment as a young woman does upon her bridal
+night; I expect the greatest pleasure, and yet cannot help fearing some
+little mixture of pain.  My reason bids me doubt a little, of what my
+imagination makes me expect.  In some articles I am very sure that my
+most sanguine wishes will not be disappointed; and those are the most
+material ones.  In others, I fear something or other, which I can better
+feel than describe.  However, I will attempt it.  I fear the want of that
+amiable and engaging 'je ne sais quoi', which as some philosophers have,
+unintelligibly enough, said of the soul, is all in all, and all in every
+part; it should shed its influence over every word and action.  I fear
+the want of that air, and first 'abord', which suddenly lays hold of the
+heart, one does not know distinctly how or why.  I fear an inaccuracy,
+or, at least, inelegance of diction, which will wrong, and lower, the
+best and justest matter.  And, lastly, I fear an ungraceful, if not an
+unpleasant utterance, which would disgrace and vilify the whole.  Should
+these fears be at present founded, yet the objects of them are (thank
+God) of such a nature, that you may, if you please, between this and our
+meeting, remove everyone of them.  All these engaging and endearing
+accomplishments are mechanical, and to be acquired by care and
+observation, as easily as turning, or any mechanical trade.  A common
+country fellow, taken from the plow, and enlisted in an old corps, soon
+lays aside his shambling gait, his slouching air, his clumsy and awkward
+motions: and acquires the martial air, the regular motions, and whole
+exercise of the corps, and particularly of his right and left hand man.
+How so?  Not from his parts; which were just the same before as after he
+was enlisted; but either from a commendable ambition of being like, and
+equal to those he is to live with; or else from the fear of being
+punished for not being so.  If then both or either of these motives
+change such a fellow, in about six months' time, to such a degree, as
+that he is not to be known again, how much stronger should both these
+motives be with you, to acquire, in the utmost perfection, the whole
+exercise of the people of fashion, with whom you are to live all your
+life?  Ambition should make you resolve to be at least their equal in
+that exercise, as well as the fear of punishment; which most inevitably
+will attend the want of it.  By that exercise, I mean the air, the
+manners, the graces, and the style of people of fashion.  A friend of
+yours, in a letter I received from him by the last post, after some other
+commendations of you, says, 'It is surprising that, thinking with so much
+solidity as he does, and having so true and refined a taste, he should
+express himself with so little elegance and delicacy.  He even totally
+neglects the choice of words and turn of phrases."
+
+This I should not be so much surprised or concerned at, if it related
+only to the English language; which hitherto you have had no opportunity
+of studying, and but few of speaking, at least to those who could correct
+your inaccuracies.  But if you do not express yourself elegantly and
+delicately in French and German, (both which languages I know you possess
+perfectly and speak eternally) it can be only from an unpardonable
+inattention to what you most erroneously think a little object, though,
+in truth, it is one of the most important of your life.  Solidity and
+delicacy of thought must be given us: it cannot be acquired, though it
+may be improved; but elegance and delicacy of expression may be acquired
+by whoever will take the necessary care and pains.  I am sure you love me
+so well; that you would be very sorry when we meet, that I should be
+either disappointed or mortified; and I love you so well, that I assure
+you I should be both, if I should find you want any of those exterior
+accomplishments which are the indispensably necessary steps to that
+figure and fortune, which I so earnestly wish you may one day make in the
+world.
+
+I hope you do not neglect your exercises of riding, fencing, and dancing,
+but particularly the latter: for they all concur to 'degourdir', and to
+give a certain air.  To ride well, is not only a proper and graceful
+accomplishment for a gentleman, but may also save you many a fall
+hereafter; to fence well, may possibly save your life; and to dance well,
+is absolutely necessary in order to sit, stand, and walk well.  To tell
+you the truth, my friend, I have some little suspicion that you now and
+then neglect or omit your exercises, for more serious studies.  But now
+'non est his locus', everything has its time; and this is yours for your
+exercises; for when you return to Paris I only propose your continuing
+your dancing; which you shall two years longer, if you happen to be where
+there is a good dancing-master.  Here I will see you take some lessons
+with your old master Desnoyers, who is our Marcel.
+
+What says Madame du Pin to you?  I am told she is very handsome still;
+I know she was some few years ago.  She has good parts, reading, manners,
+and delicacy: such an arrangement would be both creditable and
+advantageous to you.  She will expect to meet with all the good-breeding
+and delicacy that she brings; and as she is past the glare and 'eclat'
+of youth, may be the more willing to listen to your story, if you tell it
+well.  For an attachment, I should prefer her to 'la petite Blot'; and,
+for a mere gallantry, I should prefer 'la petite Blot' to her; so that
+they are consistent, et 'l'un n'emplche pas l'autre'.  Adieu.  Remember
+'la douceur et les graces'.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLIV
+
+LONDON, May 23, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: I have this moment received your letter of the 25th
+N. S., and being rather something more attentive to my commissions than
+you are to yours, return you this immediate answer to the question you
+ask me about the two pictures: I will not give one livre more than what I
+told you in my last; having no sort of occasion for them, and not knowing
+very well where to put them if I had them.
+
+I wait with impatience for your final orders about the mohairs; the
+mercer persecuting me every day for three pieces which I thought pretty,
+and which I have kept by me eventually, to secure them in case your
+ladies should pitch upon them.
+
+If I durst!  what should hinder you from daring?  One always dares if
+there are hopes of success ; and even if there are none, one is no loser
+by daring.  A man of fashion knows how, and when, to dare.  He begins his
+approaches by distant attacks, by assiduities, and by attentions.  If he
+is not immediately and totally repulsed, he continues to advance.  After
+certain steps success is infallible; and none but very silly fellows can
+then either doubt, or not attempt it.  Is it the respectable character of
+Madame de la Valiere which prevents your daring, or are you intimidated
+at the fierce virtue of Madame du Pin?  Does the invincible modesty of
+the handsome Madame Case discourage, more than her beauty invites you?
+Fie, for shame!  Be convinced that the most virtuous woman, far from
+being offended at a declaration of love, is flattered by it, if it is
+made in a polite and agreeable manner.  It is possible that she may not
+be propitious to your vows; that is to say, if she has a liking or a
+passion for another person.  But, at all events, she will not be
+displeased with you for it; so that, as there is no danger, this cannot
+even be called daring.  But if she attends, if she listens, and allows
+you to repeat your declaration, be persuaded that if you do not dare all
+the rest, she will laugh at you.  I advise you to begin rather by Madame
+du Pin, who has still more than beauty enough for such a youngster as
+you.  She has, besides, knowledge of the world, sense, and delicacy.  As
+she is not so extremely young, the choice of her lovers cannot be
+entirely at her option.  I promise you, she will not refuse the tender of
+your most humble services.  Distinguish her, then, by attentions and by
+tender looks.  Take favorable opportunities of whispering that you wish
+esteem and friendship were the only motives of your regard for her; but
+that it derives from sentiments of a much more tender nature: that you
+made not this declaration without pain; but that the concealing your
+passion was a still greater torment.
+
+I am sensible, that in saying this for the first time, you will look
+silly, abashed, and even express yourself very ill.  So much the better;
+for, instead of attributing your confusion to the little usage you have
+of the world, particularly in these sort of subjects, she will think that
+excess of love is the occasion of it.  In such a case, the lover's best
+friend is self-love.  Do not then be afraid; behave gallantly.  Speak
+well, and you will be heard.  If you are not listened to the first time,
+try a second, a third, and a fourth.  If the place is not already taken,
+depend upon it, it may be conquered.
+
+I am very glad you are going to Orli, and from thence to St. Cloud;
+go to both, and to Versailles also, often.  It is that interior domestic
+familiarity with people of fashion, that alone can give you 'l'usage du
+monde, et les manieres aisees'.  It is only with women one loves, or men
+one respects, that the desire of pleasing exerts itself; and without the
+desire of pleasing no man living can please.  Let that desire be the
+spring of all your words and actions.  That happy talent, the art of
+pleasing, which so few do, though almost all might possess, is worth all
+your learning and knowledge put together.  The latter can never raise you
+high without the former; but the former may carry you, as it has carried
+thousands, a great way without the latter.
+
+I am glad that you dance so well, as to be reckoned by Marcel among his
+best scholars; go on, and dance better still.  Dancing well is pleasing
+'pro tanto', and makes a part of that necessary whole, which is composed
+of a thousand parts, many of them of 'les infiniment petits quoi
+qu'infiniment necessaires'.
+
+I shall never have done upon this subject which is indispensably
+necessary toward your making any figure or fortune in the world; both
+which I have set my heart upon, and for both which you now absolutely
+want no one thing but the art of pleasing; and I must not conceal from
+you that you have still a good way to go before you arrive at it.  You
+still want a thousand of those little attentions that imply a desire of
+pleasing: you want a 'douceur' of air and expression that engages: you
+want an elegance and delicacy of expression, necessary to adorn the best
+sense and most solid matter: in short, you still want a great deal of the
+'brillant' and the 'poli'.  Get them at any rate: sacrifice hecatombs of
+books to them: seek for them in company, and renounce your closet till
+you have got them.  I never received the letter you refer to, if ever you
+wrote it.  Adieu, et bon soir, Monseigneur.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLV
+
+GREENWICH, June 6, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: Solicitous and anxious as I have ever been to form your
+heart, your mind, and your manners, and to bring you as near perfection
+as the imperfection of our natures will allow, I have exhausted, in the
+course of our correspondence, all that my own mind could suggest, and
+have borrowed from others whatever I thought could be useful to you; but
+this has necessarily been interruptedly and by snatches.  It is now time,
+and you are of an age to review and to weigh in your own mind all that
+you have heard, and all that you have read, upon these subjects; and to
+form your own character, your conduct, and your manners, for the rest of
+your life; allowing for such improvements as a further knowledge of the
+world will naturally give you.  In this view I would recommend to you to
+read, with the greatest attention, such books as treat particularly of
+those subjects; reflecting seriously upon them, and then comparing the
+speculation with the practice.
+
+For example, if you read in the morning some of La Rochefoucault's
+maxims; consider them, examine them well, and compare them with the real
+characters you meet with in the evening.  Read La Bruyere in the morning,
+and see in the evening whether his pictures are like.  Study the heart
+and the mind of man, and begin with your own.  Meditation and reflection
+must lay the foundation of that knowledge: but experience and practice
+must, and alone can, complete it.  Books, it is true, point out the
+operations of the mind, the sentiments of the heart, the influence of the
+passions; and so far they are of previous use: but without subsequent
+practice, experience, and observation, they are as ineffectual, and would
+even lead you into as many errors in fact, as a map would do, if you were
+to take your notions of the towns and provinces from their delineations
+in it.  A man would reap very little benefit by his travels, if he made
+them only in his closet upon a map of the whole world.  Next to the two
+books that I have already mentioned, I do not know a better for you to
+read, and seriously reflect upon, than 'Avis d'une Mere d'un Fils, par la
+Marquise de Lambert'.  She was a woman of a superior understanding and
+knowledge of the world, had always kept the best company, was solicitous
+that her son should make a figure and a fortune in the world, and knew
+better than anybody how to point out the means.  It is very short, and
+will take you much less time to read, than you ought to employ in
+reflecting upon it, after you have read it.  Her son was in the army, she
+wished he might rise there; but she well knew, that, in order to rise, he
+must first please: she says to him, therefore, With regard to those upon
+whom you depend, the chief merit is to please.  And, in another place, in
+subaltern employments, the art of pleasing must be your support.  Masters
+are like mistresses: whatever services they may be indebted to you for,
+they cease to love when you cease to be agreeable.  This, I can assure
+you, is at least as true in courts as in camps, and possibly more so.
+If to your merit and knowledge you add the art of pleasing, you may very
+probably come in time to be Secretary of State; but, take my word for it,
+twice your merit and knowledge, without the art of pleasing, would, at
+most, raise you to the IMPORTANT POST of Resident at Hamburgh or
+Ratisbon.  I need not tell you now, for I often have, and your own
+discernment must have told you, of what numberless little ingredients
+that art of pleasing is compounded, and how the want of the least of them
+lowers the whole; but the principal ingredient is, undoubtedly, 'la
+douceur dans le manieres':  nothing will give you this more than keeping
+company with your superiors.  Madame Lambert tells her son, Let your
+connections be with people above you; by that means you will acquire a
+habit of respect and politeness.  With one's equals, one is apt to become
+negligent, and the mind grows torpid. She advises him, too, to frequent
+those people, and to see their inside; In order to judge of men, one must
+be intimately connected; thus you see them without, a veil, and with
+their mere every-day merit.  A happy expression!  It was for this reason
+that I have so often advised you to establish and domesticate yourself,
+wherever you can, in good houses of people above you, that you may see
+their EVERY-DAY character, manners, habits, etc.  One must see people
+undressed to judge truly of their shape; when they are dressed to go
+abroad, their clothes are contrived to conceal, or at least palliate the
+defects of it: as full-bottomed wigs were contrived for the Duke of
+Burgundy, to conceal his hump back.  Happy those who have no faults to
+disguise, nor weaknesses to conceal! there are few, if any such; but
+unhappy those who know little enough of the world to judge by outward
+appearances.  Courts are the best keys to characters; there every passion
+is busy, every art exerted, every character analyzed; jealousy, ever
+watchful, not only discovers, but exposes, the mysteries of the trade, so
+that even  bystanders 'y apprennent a deviner'.  There too the great art
+of pleasing is practiced, taught, and learned with all its graces and
+delicacies.  It is the first thing needful there:  It is the absolutely
+necessary harbinger of merit and talents, let them be ever so great.
+There is no advancing a step without it.  Let misanthropes and would-be
+philosophers declaim as much as they please against the vices, the
+simulation, and dissimulation of courts; those invectives are always the
+result of ignorance, ill-humor, or envy.  Let them show me a cottage,
+where there are not the same vices of which they accuse courts; with this
+difference only, that in a cottage they appear in their native deformity,
+and that in courts, manners and good-breeding make them less shocking,
+and blunt their edge.  No, be convinced that the good-breeding, the
+'tournure, la douceur dans les manieres', which alone are to be acquired
+at courts, are not the showish trifles only which some people call or
+think them; they are a solid good; they prevent a great deal of real
+mischief; they create, adorn, and strengthen friendships; they keep
+hatred within bounds; they promote good-humor and good-will in families,
+where the want of good-breeding and gentleness of manners is commonly the
+original cause of discord.  Get then, before it is too late, a habit of
+these 'mitiores virtutes': practice them upon every, the least occasion,
+that they may be easy and familiar to you upon the greatest; for they
+lose a great degree of their merit if they seem labored, and only called
+in upon extraordinary occasions.  I tell you truly, this is now the only
+doubtful part of your character with me; and it is for that reason that I
+dwell upon it so much, and inculcate it so often.  I shall soon see
+whether this doubt of mine is founded; or rather I hope I shall soon see
+that it is not.
+
+This moment I receive your letter of the 9th N. S.  I am sorry to find
+that you have had, though ever so slight a return of your Carniolan
+disorder; and I hope your conclusion will prove a true one, and that this
+will be the last.  I will send the mohairs by the first opportunity.  As
+for the pictures, I am already so full, that I am resolved not to buy one
+more, unless by great accident I should meet with something surprisingly
+good, and as surprisingly cheap.
+
+I should have thought that Lord -------, at his age, and with his parts
+and address, need not have been reduced to keep an opera w---e, in such a
+place as Paris, where so many women of fashion generously serve as
+volunteers.  I am still more sorry that he is in love with her; for that
+will take him out of good company, and sink him into bad; such as
+fiddlers, pipers, and 'id genus omne'; most unedifying and unbecoming
+company for a man of fashion!
+
+Lady Chesterfield makes you a thousand compliments.  Adieu, my dear
+child.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLVI
+
+GREENWICH, June 10, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: Your ladies were so slow in giving their specific orders,
+that the mohairs, of which you at last sent me the patterns, were all
+sold.  However, to prevent further delays (for ladies are apt to be very
+impatient, when at last they know their own minds), I have taken the
+quantities desired of three mohairs which come nearest to the description
+you sent me some time ago, in Madame Monconseil's own hand; and I will
+send them to Calais by the first opportunity.  In giving 'la petite Blot'
+her piece, you have a fine occasion of saying fine things, if so
+inclined.
+
+Lady Hervey, who is your puff and panegyrist, writes me word that she saw
+you lately dance at a ball, and that you dance very genteelly.  I am
+extremely glad to hear it; for (by the maxim, that 'omne majus continet
+in se minus'), if you dance genteelly, I presume you walk, sit, and stand
+genteelly too; things which are much more easy, though much more
+necessary, than dancing well.  I have known many very genteel people, who
+could not dance well; but I never knew anybody dance very well, who was
+not genteel in other things.  You will probably often have occasion to
+stand in circles, at the levees of princes and ministers, when it is very
+necessary 'de payer de sa personne, et d'etre bien plante', with your
+feet not too near nor too distant from each other.  More people stand and
+walk, than sit genteelly.  Awkward, ill-bred people, being ashamed,
+commonly sit bolt upright and stiff; others, too negligent and easy,
+'se vautrent dans leur fauteuil', which is ungraceful and ill-bred,
+unless where the familiarity is extreme; but a man of fashion makes
+himself easy, and appears so by leaning gracefully instead of lolling
+supinely; and by varying those easy attitudes instead of that stiff
+immobility of a bashful booby.  You cannot conceive, nor can I express,
+how advantageous a good air, genteel motions, and engaging address are,
+not only among women, but among men, and even in the course of business;
+they fascinate the affections, they steal a preference, they play about
+the heart till they engage it.  I know a man, and so do you, who, without
+a grain of merit, knowledge, or talents, has raised himself millions of
+degrees above his level, simply by a good air and engaging manners;
+insomuch that the very Prince who raised him so high, calls him, 'mon
+aimable vaut-rien'; --[The Marichal de Richelieu.]-- but of this do not
+open your lips, 'pour cause'.  I give you this secret as the strongest
+proof imaginable of the efficacy of air, address, 'tournure, et tout ces
+Petits riens'.
+
+Your other puff and panegyrist, Mr. Harte, is gone to Windsor in his way
+to Cornwall, in order to be back soon enough to meet you here: I really
+believe he is as impatient for that moment as I am, 'et c'est tout dire':
+but, however, notwithstanding my impatience, if by chance you should then
+be in a situation, that leaving Paris would cost your heart too many
+pangs, I allow you to put off your journey, and to tell me, as Festus did
+Paul, AT A MORE CONVENIENT SEASON I WILL SPEAK TO THEE.  You see by this
+that I eventually sacrifice my sentiments to yours, and this in a very
+uncommon object of paternal complaisance.  Provided always, and be it
+understood (as they say in acts of Parliament), that 'quae te cumque
+domat Venus, non erubescendis adurit ignibus'.  If your heart will let
+you come, bring with you only your valet de chambre, Christian, and your
+own footman; not your valet de place, whom you may dismiss for the time,
+as also your coach; but you had best keep on your lodgings, the
+intermediate expense of which will be but inconsiderable, and you will
+want them to leave your books and baggage in.  Bring only the clothes you
+travel in, one suit of black, for the mourning for the Prince will not be
+quite out by that time, and one suit of your fine clothes, two or three
+of your laced shirts, and the rest plain ones; of other things, as bags,
+feathers, etc., as you think proper.  Bring no books, unless two or three
+for your' amusement upon the road; for we must apply simply to English,
+in which you are certainly no 'puriste'; and I will supply you
+sufficiently with the proper English authors.  I shall probably keep you
+here till about the middle of October, and certainly not longer; it being
+absolutely necessary for you to pass the next winter at Paris; so that;
+should any fine eyes shed tears for your departure, you may dry them by
+the promise of your return in two months.
+
+Have you got a master for geometry?  If the weather is very hot, you may
+leave your riding at the 'manege' till you return to Paris, unless you
+think the exercise does you more good than the heat can do you harm; but
+I desire you will not leave off Marcel for one moment; your fencing
+likewise, if you have a mind, may subside for the summer; but you will do
+well to resume it in the winter and to be adroit at it, but by no means
+for offense, only for defense in case of necessity.  Good night.  Yours.
+
+P. S.  I forgot to give you one commission, when you come here; which is,
+not to fail bringing the GRACES along with you.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLVII
+
+GREENWICH, June 13, O. S. 1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: 'Les bienseances'--[This single word implies decorum,
+good-breeding, and propriety]-- are a most necessary part of the
+knowledge of the world.  They consist in the relations of persons,
+things, time, and place; good sense points them out, good company
+perfects them ( supposing always an attention and a desire to please),
+and good policy recommends them.
+
+Were you to converse with a king, you ought to be as easy and
+unembarrassed as with your own valet de chambre; but yet, every look,
+word and action, should imply the utmost respect.  What would be proper
+and well-bred with others, much your superiors, would be absurd and ill-
+bred with one so very much so.  You must wait till you are spoken to; you
+must receive, not give, the subject of conversation; and you must even
+take care that the given subject of such conversation do not lead you
+into any impropriety.  The art would be to carry it, if possible, to some
+indirect flattery; such as commending those virtues in some other person,
+in which that prince either thinks he does, or at least would be thought
+by others to excel.  Almost the same precautions are necessary to be used
+with ministers, generals, etc., who expect to be treated with very near
+the same respect as their masters, and commonly deserve it better.  There
+is, however, this difference, that one may begin the conversation with
+them, if on their side it should happen to drop, provided one does not
+carry it to any subject upon which it is improper either for them to
+speak, or be spoken to.  In these two cases, certain attitudes and
+actions would be extremely absurd, because too easy, and consequently
+disrespectful.  As, for instance, if you were to put your arms across in
+your bosom, twirl your snuff-box, trample with your feet, scratch your
+head, etc., it would be shockingly ill-bred in that company; and, indeed,
+not extremely well-bred in any other.  The great difficulty in those
+cases, though a very surmountable one by attention and custom, is to join
+perfect inward ease with perfect outward respect.
+
+In mixed companies with your equals (for in mixed companies all people
+are to a certain degree equal), greater ease and liberty are allowed; but
+they too have their bounds within 'bienseance'.  There is a social
+respect necessary: you may start your own subject of conversation with
+modesty, taking great care, however, 'de ne jamais parler de cordes.
+dans la maison d'un pendu. --[Never to mention a rope in the family of a
+man who has been hanged]-- Your words, gestures, and attitudes, have a
+greater degree of latitude, though by no means an unbounded one.  You may
+have your hands in your pockets, take snuff, sit, stand, or occasionally
+walk, as you like; but I believe you would not think it very 'bienseant'
+to whistle, put on your hat, loosen your garters or your buckles, lie
+down upon a couch, or go to bed, and welter in an easychair.  These are
+negligences and freedoms which one can only take when quite alone; they
+are injurious to superiors, shocking and offensive to equals, brutal and
+insulting to inferiors.  That easiness of carriage and behavior, which is
+exceedingly engaging, widely differs from negligence and inattention, and
+by no means implies that one may do whatever one pleases; it only means
+that one is not to be stiff, formal, embarrassed, disconcerted, and
+ashamed, like country bumpkins, and, people who have never been in good
+company; but it requires great attention to, and a scrupulous observation
+of 'les bienseances': whatever one ought to do, is to be done with ease
+and unconcern; whatever is improper must not be done at all.  In mixed
+companies also, different ages and sexes are to be differently addressed.
+You would not talk of your pleasures to men of a certain age, gravity,
+and dignity; they justly expect from young people a degree of deference
+and regard.  You should be full as easy with them as with people of your
+own years: but your manner must be different; more respect must be
+implied; and it is not amiss to insinuate that from them you expect to
+learn.  It flatters and comforts age for not being able to take a part in
+the joy and titter of youth.  To women you should always address yourself
+with great outward respect and attention, whatever you feel inwardly;
+their sex is by long prescription entitled to it; and it is among the
+duties of 'bienseance'; at the same time that respect is very properly
+and very agreeably mixed with a degree of 'enjouement', if you have it;
+but then, that badinage must either directly or indirectly tend to their
+praise, and even not be liable to a malicious construction to their
+disadvantage.  But here, too, great attention must be had to the
+difference of age, rank, and situation.  A 'marechale' of fifty must not
+be played with like a young coquette of fifteen; respect and serious
+'enjouement', if I may couple those two words, must be used with the
+former, and mere 'badinage, zeste meme d'un peu de polissonerie', is
+pardonable with the latter.
+
+Another important point of 'les bienseances', seldom enough attended to,
+is, not to run your own present humor and disposition indiscriminately
+against everybody, but to observe, conform to, and adopt them.  For
+example, if you happened to be in high good humor and a flow of spirits,
+would you go and sing a 'pont neuf', --[a ballad]-- or cut a caper, to la
+Marechale de Coigny, the Pope's nuncio, or Abbe Sallier, or to any person
+of natural gravity and melancholy, or who at that time should be in
+grief?  I believe not; as, on the other hand, I suppose, that if you were
+in low spirits or real grief, you would not choose to bewail your
+situation with 'la petite Blot'.  If you cannot command your present
+humor and disposition, single out those to converse with, who happen to
+be in the humor the nearest to your own.
+
+Loud laughter is extremely inconsistent with 'les bienseances', as it is
+only the illiberal and noisy testimony of the joy of the mob at some very
+silly thing.  A gentleman is often seen, but very seldom heard to laugh.
+Nothing is more contrary to 'les bienseances' than horse-play, or 'jeux
+de main' of any kind whatever, and has often very serious, sometimes very
+fatal consequences.  Romping, struggling, throwing things at one
+another's head, are the becoming pleasantries of the mob, but degrade a
+gentleman: 'giuoco di mano, giuoco di villano', is a very true saying,
+among the few true sayings of the Italians.
+
+Peremptoriness and decision in young people is 'contraire aux
+bienseances', and they should seldom seem to assert, and always use some
+softening mitigating expression; such as, 's'il m'est permis de le dire,
+je croirais plutot, si j'ose m'expliquer', which soften the manner,
+without giving up or even weakening the thing.  People of more age and
+experience expect, and are entitled to, that degree of deference.
+
+There is a 'bienseance' also with regard to people of the lowest degree:
+a gentleman observes it with his footman--even with the beggar in the
+street.  He considers them as objects of compassion, not of insult; he
+speaks to neither 'd'un ton brusque', but corrects the one coolly, and
+refuses the other with humanity.  There is one occasion in the world in
+which 'le ton brusque' is becoming a gentleman.  In short, 'les
+bienseances' are another word for MANNERS, and extend to every part of
+life.  They are propriety; the Graces should attend, in order to complete
+them; the Graces enable us to do, genteelly and pleasingly, what 'les
+bienseances' require to be done at all.  The latter are an obligation
+upon every man; the former are an infinite advantage and ornament to any
+man.  May you unite both!
+
+Though you dance well, do not think that you dance well enough, and
+consequently not endeavor to dance still better.  And though you should
+be told that you are genteel, still aim at being genteeler.  If Marcel
+should, do not you be satisfied.  Go on, court the Graces all your
+lifetime; you will find no better friends at court: they will speak in
+your favor, to the hearts of princes, ministers, and mistresses.
+
+Now that all tumultuous passions and quick sensations have subsided with
+me, and that I have no tormenting cares nor boisterous pleasures to
+agitate me, my greatest joy is to consider the fair prospect you have
+before you, and to hope and believe you will enjoy it.  You are already
+in the world, at an age when others have hardly heard of it.  Your
+character is hitherto not only unblemished in its mortal part, but even
+unsullied by any low, dirty, and ungentleman-like vice; and will, I hope,
+continue so.  Your knowledge is sound, extensive and avowed, especially
+in everything relative to your destination.  With such materials to begin
+with, what then is wanting!  Not fortune, as you have found by
+experience.  You have had, and shall have, fortune sufficient to assist
+your merit and your industry; and if I can help it, you never shall have
+enough to make you negligent of either.  You have, too, 'mens sana in
+corpore sano', the greatest blessing of all.  All, therefore, that you
+want is as much in your power to acquire, as to eat your breakfast when
+set before you; it is only that knowledge of the world, that elegance of
+manners, that universal politeness, and those graces which keeping good
+company, and seeing variety of places and characters, must inevitably,
+with the least attention on your part, give you.  Your foreign
+destination leads to the greatest things, and your parliamentary
+situation will facilitate your progress.  Consider, then, this pleasing
+prospect as attentively for yourself as I consider it for you.  Labor on
+your part to realize it, as I will on mine to assist, and enable you to
+do it.  'Nullum numen abest, si sit prudentia'.
+
+Adieu, my dear child!  I count the days till I have the pleasure of
+seeing you; I shall soon count the hours, and at last the minutes, with
+increasing impatience.
+
+P.  S.  The mohairs are this day gone from hence for Calais, recommended
+to the care of Madame Morel, and directed, as desired, to the
+Comptroller-general.  The three pieces come to six hundred and eighty
+French livres.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLVIII
+
+GREENWICH, June 20, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: So very few people, especially young travelers, see what
+they see, or hear what they hear, that though I really believe it may be
+unnecessary with you, yet there can be no harm in reminding you, from
+time to time, to see what you see, and to hear what you hear; that is,
+to see and hear as you should do.  Frivolous, futile people, who make at
+least three parts in four of mankind, only desire to see and hear what
+their frivolous and futile precursors have seen and heard: as St.
+Peter's, the Pope, and High Mass, at Rome; Notre Dame, Versailles, the
+French King, and the French Comedy, in France.  A man of parts sees and
+hears very differently from these gentlemen, and a great deal more.
+He examines and informs himself thoroughly of everything he sees or
+hears; and, more particularly, as it is relative to his own profession or
+destination.  Your destination is political; the object, therefore, of
+your inquiries and observations should be the political interior of
+things; the forms of government, laws, regulations, customs, trade,
+manufactures, etc., of the several nations of Europe.  This knowledge is
+much better acquired by conversation with sensible and well-informed
+people, than by books, the best of which upon these subjects are always
+imperfect.  For example, there are "Present States" of France, as there
+are of England; but they are always defective, being published by people
+uninformed, who only copy one another; they are, however, worth looking
+into because they point out objects for inquiry, which otherwise might
+possibly never have occurred to one's mind; but an hour's conversation
+with a sensible president or 'conseiller' will let you more into the true
+state of the parliament of Paris, than all the books in France.  In the
+same manner, the 'Almanack Militaire' is worth your having; but two or
+three conversations with officers will inform you much better of their
+military regulations.  People have, commonly, a partiality for their own
+professions, love to talk of them,, and are even flattered by being
+consulted upon the subject; when, therefore, you are with any of those
+military gentlemen (and you can hardly be in any company without some),
+ask them military questions, inquire into their methods of discipline,
+quartering, and clothing their men; inform yourself of their pay, their
+perquisites, 'lours montres, lours etapes', etc.  Do the same as to the
+marine, and make yourself particularly master of that detail; which has,
+and always will have, a great relation to the affairs of England; and, in
+proportion as you get good informations, take minutes of them in writing.
+
+The regulations of trade and commerce in France are excellent, as appears
+but too plainly for us, by the great increase of both, within these
+thirty years; for not to mention their extensive commerce in both the
+East and West Indies, they have got the whole trade of the Levant from
+us; and now supply all the foreign markets with their sugars, to the ruin
+almost of our sugar colonies, as Jamaica, Barbadoes, and the Leeward
+Islands.  Get, therefore, what informations you can of these matters
+also.
+
+Inquire too into their church matters; for which the present disputes
+between the court and the clergy give you fair and frequent
+opportunities.  Know the particular rights of the Gallican church, in
+opposition to the pretensions of the See of Rome.  I need not recommend
+ecclesiastical history to you, since I hear that you study 'Du Pin' very
+assiduously.
+
+You cannot imagine how much this solid and useful knowledge of other
+countries will distinguish you in your own (where, to say the truth, it
+is very little known or cultivated), besides the great use it is of in
+all foreign negotiations; not to mention that it enables a man to shine
+in all companies.  When kings and princes have any knowledge, it is of
+this sort, and more particularly; and therefore it is the usual topic of
+their levee conversations, in which it will qualify you to bear a
+considerable part; it brings you more acquainted with them; and they are
+pleased to have people talk to them on a subject in which they think to
+shine.
+
+There is a sort of chit-chat, or SMALL TALK, which is the general run of
+conversation at courts, and in most mixed companies.  It is a sort of
+middling conversation, neither silly nor edifying; but, however, very
+necessary for you to become master of.  It turns upon the public events
+of Europe, and then is at its best; very often upon the number, the
+goodness or badness, the discipline, or the clothing of the troops of
+different princes; sometimes upon the families, the marriages, the
+relations of princes, and considerable people; and sometimes 'sur le bon
+chere', the magnificence of public entertainments, balls, masquerades,
+etc.  I would wish you to be able to talk upon all these things better,
+and with more knowledge than other people; insomuch that upon those
+occasions, you should be applied to, and that people should say, I DARE
+SAY MR. STANHOPE CAN TELL US.
+
+Second-rate knowledge and middling talents carry a man further at courts,
+and in the busy part of the world, than superior knowledge and shining
+parts.  Tacitus very justly accounts for a man's having always kept in
+favor and enjoyed the best employments under the tyrannical reigns of
+three or four of the very worst emperors, by saying that it was not
+'propter aliquam eximiam artem, sed quia par negotiis neque supra erat'.
+Discretion is the great article; all these things are to be learned, and
+only learned by keeping a great deal of the best company.  Frequent those
+good houses where you have already a footing, and wriggle yourself
+somehow or other into every other.  Haunt the courts particularly in
+order to get that ROUTINE.
+
+This moment I receive yours of the 18th N. S.  You will have had some
+time ago my final answers concerning the pictures; and, by my last, an
+account that the mohairs were gone to Madame Morel, at Calais, with the
+proper directions.
+
+I am sorry that your two sons-in-law [??  D.W.], the Princes B----, are
+such boobies; however, as they have the honor of being so nearly related
+to you, I will show them what civilities I can.
+
+I confess you have not time for long absences from Paris, at present,
+because of your various masters, all which I would have you apply to
+closely while you are now in that capital; but when you return thither,
+after the visit you intend me the honor of, I do not propose your having
+any master at all, except Marcel, once or twice a week.  And then the
+courts will, I hope, be no longer strange countries to you; for I would
+have you run down frequently to Versailles and St. Cloud, for three or
+four days at a time.  You know the Abbe de la Ville, who will present you
+to others, so that you will soon be 'faufile' with the rest of the court.
+Court is the soil in which you are to grow and flourish; you ought to be
+well acquainted with the nature of it; like all other soil, it is in some
+places deeper, in others lighter, but always capable of great improvement
+by cultivation and experience.
+
+You say that you want some hints for a letter to Lady Chesterfield; more
+use and knowledge of the world will teach you occasionally to write and
+talk genteelly, 'sup des riens', which I can tell you is a very useful
+part upon worldly knowledge; for in some companies, it would be imprudent
+to talk of anything else; and with very many people it is impossible to
+talk of anything else; they would not understand you.  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLIX
+
+LONDON, June 24, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  Air, address, manners, and graces are of such infinite
+advantage to whoever has them, and so peculiarly and essentially
+necessary for you, that now, as the time of our meeting draws near,
+I tremble for fear I should not find you possessed of them; and, to tell
+you the truth, I doubt you are not yet sufficiently convinced for their
+importance.  There is, for instance, your intimate friend, Mr. H-----,
+who with great merit, deep knowledge, and a thousand good qualities,
+will never make a figure in the world while he lives.  Why?  Merely for
+want of those external and showish accomplishments, which he began the
+world too late to acquire; and which, with his studious and philosophical
+turn, I believe he thinks are not worth his attention.  He may, very
+probably, make a figure in the republic of letters, but he had ten
+thousand times better make a figure as a man of the world and of business
+in the republic of the United Provinces, which, take my word for it, he
+never will.
+
+As I open myself, without the least reserve, whenever I think that my
+doing so can be of any use to you, I will give you a short account of
+myself.  When I first came into the world, which was at the age you are
+of now, so that, by the way, you have got the start of me in that
+important article by two or three years at least,--at nineteen I left the
+University of Cambridge, where I was an absolute pedant; when I talked my
+best, I quoted Horace; when I aimed at being facetious, I quoted Martial;
+and when I had a mind to be a fine gentleman, I talked Ovid.  I was
+convinced that none but the ancients had common sense; that the classics
+contained everything that was either necessary, useful, or ornamental to
+men; and I was not without thoughts of wearing the 'toga virilis' of the
+Romans, instead of the vulgar and illiberal dress of the moderns.  With
+these excellent notions I went first to The Hague, where, by the help of
+several letters of recommendation, I was soon introduced into all the
+best company; and where I very soon discovered that I was totally
+mistaken in almost every one notion I had entertained.  Fortunately, I
+had a strong desire to please (the mixed result of good-nature and a
+vanity by no means blamable), and was sensible that I had nothing but the
+desire.  I therefore resolved, if possible, to acquire the means, too.  I
+studied attentively and minutely the dress, the air, the manner, the
+address, and the turn of conversation of all those whom I found to be the
+people in fashion, and most generally allowed to please.  I imitated them
+as well as I could; if I heard that one man was reckoned remarkably
+genteel, I carefully watched his dress, motions and attitudes, and formed
+my own upon them.  When I heard of another, whose conversation was
+agreeable and engaging, I listened and attended to the turn of it.  I
+addressed myself, though 'de tres mauvaise grace', to all the most
+fashionable fine ladies; confessed, and laughed with them at my own
+awkwardness and rawness, recommending myself as an object for them to try
+their skill in forming.  By these means, and with a passionate desire of
+pleasing everybody, I came by degrees to please some; and, I can assure
+you, that what little figure I have made in the world, has been much more
+owing to that passionate desire of pleasing universally than to any
+intrinsic merit or sound knowledge I might ever have been master of.  My
+passion for pleasing was so strong (and I am very glad it was so), that I
+own to you fairly, I wished to make every woman I saw in love with me,
+and every man I met with admire me.  Without this passion for the object,
+I should never have been so attentive to the means; and I own I cannot
+conceive how it is possible for any man of good-nature and good sense to
+be without this passion.  Does not good-nature incline us to please all
+those we converse with, of whatever rank or station they may be?  And
+does not good sense and common observation, show of what infinite use it
+is to please?  Oh! but one may please by the good qualities of the heart,
+and the knowledge of the head, without that fashionable air, address and
+manner, which is mere tinsel.  I deny it.  A man may be esteemed and
+respected, but I defy him to please without them.  Moreover, at your age,
+I would not have contented myself with barely pleasing; I wanted to shine
+and to distinguish myself in the world as a man of fashion and gallantry,
+as well as business.  And that ambition or vanity, call it what you
+please, was a right one; it hurt nobody, and made me exert whatever
+talents I had.  It is the spring of a thousand right and good things.
+
+I was talking you over the other day with one very much your friend, and
+who had often been with you, both at Paris and in Italy.  Among the
+innumerable questions which you may be sure I asked him concerning you, I
+happened to mention your dress (for, to say the truth, it was the only
+thing of which I thought him a competent judge) upon which he said that
+you dressed tolerably well at Paris; but that in Italy you dressed so
+ill, that he used to joke with you upon it, and even to tear your
+clothes.  Now, I must tell you, that at your age it is as ridiculous not
+to be very well dressed, as at my age it would be if I were to wear a
+white feather and red-heeled shoes.  Dress is one of various ingredients
+that contribute to the art of pleasing; it pleases the eyes at least, and
+more especially of women.  Address yourself to the senses, if you would
+please; dazzle the eyes, soothe and flatter the ears of mankind; engage
+their hearts, and let their reason do its worst against you.  'Suaviter
+in modo' is the great secret.  Whenever you find yourself engaged
+insensibly, in favor of anybody of no superior merit nor distinguished
+talents, examine, and see what it is that has made those impressions upon
+you: and you will find it to be that 'douceur', that gentleness of
+manners, that air and address, which I have so often recommended to you;
+and from thence draw this obvious conclusion, that what pleases you in
+them, will please others in you; for we are all made of the same clay,
+though some of the lumps are a little finer, and some a little coarser;
+but in general, the surest way to judge of others, is to examine and
+analyze one's self thoroughly.  When we meet I will assist you in that
+analysis, in which every man wants some assistance against his own
+self-love.  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CL
+
+GREENWICH, June 3o, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: Pray give the inclosed to our friend the Abbe; it is to
+congratulate him upon his 'Canonicat', which I am really very glad of,
+and I hope it will fatten him up to Boileau's 'Chanoine'; at present he
+is as meagre as an apostle or a prophet.  By the way, has he ever
+introduced you to la Duchesse d'Aiguillon?  If he has not, make him
+present you; and if he has, frequent her, and make her many compliments
+from me.  She has uncommon, sense and knowledge for a woman, and her
+house is the resort of one set of 'les beaux esprits.  It is a
+satisfaction and a sort of credit to be acquainted with those gentlemen;
+and it puts a young fellow in fashion.  'A propos des beaux esprits', you
+have 'les entries' at Lady Sandwich's; who, old as she was, when I saw
+her last, had the strongest parts of any woman I ever knew in my life?
+If you are not acquainted with her, either the Duchesse d'Aiguillon or
+Lady Hervey can, and I dare say will; introduce you.  I can assure you,
+it is very well worth your while, both upon her own account, and for the
+sake of the people of wit and learning who frequent her.  In such
+companies there is always something to be learned as well as manners; the
+conversation turns upon something above trifles; some point of
+literature, criticism, history, etc., is discussed with ingenuity and
+good manners; for I must do the French people of learning justice; they
+are not bears, as most of ours are: they are gentlemen.
+
+Our Abbe writes me word that you were gone to Compiegne: I am very glad
+of it; other courts must form you for your own.  He tells me too, that
+you have left off riding at the 'manege'; I have no objection to that, it
+takes up a great deal of the morning; and if you have got a genteel and
+firm seat on horseback, it is enough for you, now that tilts and
+tournaments are laid aside.  I suppose you have hunted at Compiegne.  The
+King's hunting there, I am told, is a fine sight.  The French manner of
+hunting is gentlemanlike; ours is only for bumpkins and boobies.  The
+poor beasts are here pursued and run down by much greater beasts than
+themselves, and the true British fox-hunter is most undoubtedly a species
+appropriated and peculiar to this country, which no other part of the
+globe produces.
+
+I hope you apply the time you have saved from the riding-house to useful
+more than to learned purposes; for I can assure you they are very
+different things.  I would have you allow but one hour a-day for Greek;
+and that more to keep what you have than to increase it: by Greek, I mean
+useful Greek books, such as Demosthenes, Thucydides, etc., and not the
+poets, with whom you are already enough acquainted.  Your Latin will take
+care of itself.  Whatever more time you may have for reading, pray bestow
+it upon those books which are immediately relative to your destination;
+such as modern history, in the modern languages, memoirs, anecdotes,
+letters, negotiations, etc.  Collect also, if you can, authentically, the
+present state of all the courts and countries in Europe, the characters
+of the kings and princes, their wives, their ministers, and their w----s;
+their several views, connections, and interests; the state of their
+FINANCES, their military force, their trade, manufactures, and commerce.
+That is the useful, the necessary knowledge for you, and indeed for every
+gentleman.  But with all this, remember, that living books are much
+better than dead ones; and throw away no time (for it is thrown away)
+with the latter, which you can employ well with the former; for books
+must now be your only amusement, but, by no means your business.  I had
+much rather that you were passionately in love with some determined
+coquette of condition (who would lead you a dance, fashion, supple, and
+polish you), than that you knew all Plato and Aristotle by heart: an hour
+at Versailles, Compiegne, or St. Cloud, is now worth more to you than
+three hours in your closet, with the best books that ever were written.
+
+I hear the dispute between the court and the clergy is made up amicably,
+both parties have yielded something; the king being afraid of losing more
+of his soul, and the clergy more of their revenue.  Those gentlemen are
+very skillful in making the most of the vices and the weaknesses of the
+laity.  I hope you have read and informed yourself fully of everything
+relative to that affair; it is a very important question, in which the
+priesthood of every country in Europe is highly concerned.  If you would
+be thoroughly convinced that their tithes are of divine institution, and
+their property the property of God himself, not to be touched by any
+power on earth, read Fra Paolo De Beneficiis, an excellent and short
+book; for which, and some other treaties against the court of Rome, he
+was stilettoed; which made him say afterward, upon seeing an anonymous
+book written against him by order of the Pope, 'Conosco bene to stile
+Romano'.
+
+The parliament of Paris, and the states of Languedoc, will, I believe,
+hardly scramble off; having only reason and justice, but no terrors on
+their side.  Those are political and constitutional questions that well
+deserve your attention and inquiries.  I hope you are thoroughly master
+of them.  It is also worth your while to collect and keep all the pieces
+written upon those subjects.
+
+I hope you have been thanked by your ladies, at least, if not paid in
+money, for the mohairs, which I sent by a courier to Paris, some time
+ago, instead of sending them to Madame Morel, at Calais, as I told you I
+should.  Do they like them; and do they like you the better for getting
+them?  'Le petite Blot devroit au moins payer de sa personne'.  As for
+Madame de Polignac, I believe you will very willingly hold her excused
+from personal payment.
+
+Before you return to England, pray go again to Orli, for two or three
+days, and also to St. Cloud, in order to secure a good reception there at
+your return.  Ask the Marquis de Matignon too, if he has any orders for
+you in England, or any letters or packets for Lord Bolingbroke.  Adieu!
+Go on and prosper.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CLI
+
+GREENWICH, July 8, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  The last mail brought me your letter of the 3d July,
+N. S.  I am glad that you are so well with Colonel Yorke, as to be let
+into secret correspondences.  Lord Albemarle's reserve to you is, I
+believe, more owing to his secretary than to himself; for you seem to be
+much in favor with him; and possibly too HE HAS NO VERY SECRET LETTERS to
+communicate. However, take care not to discover the least dissatisfaction
+upon this score: make the proper acknowledgments to Colonel Yorke, for
+what he does show you; but let neither Lord Albemarle nor his people
+perceive the least coldness on your part, upon account of what they do
+not show you. It is very often necessary, not to manifest all one feels.
+Make your court to, and connect yourself as much as possible with Colonel
+Yorke; he may be of great use to you hereafter; and when you take leave,
+not only offer to bring over any letters or packets, by way of security;
+but even ask, as a favor, to be the carrier of a letter from him to his
+father, the Chancellor.  'A propos' of your coming here; I confess that I
+am weakly impatient for it, and think a few days worth getting; I would,
+therefore, instead of the 25th of next month, N. S., which was the day
+that I some time ago appointed for your leaving Paris, have you set out
+on Friday the 20th of August, N. S.; in consequence of which you will be
+at Calais some time on the Sunday following, and probably at Dover within
+four-and-twenty hours afterward.  If you land in the morning, you may, in
+a postchaise, get to Sittingborne that day; if you come on shore in the
+evening, you can only get to Canterbury, where you will be better lodged
+than at Dover.  I will not have you travel in the night, nor fatigue and
+overheat yourself by running on fourscore miles the moment you land.
+You will come straight to Blackheath, where I shall be ready to meet you,
+and which is directly upon the Dover road to London; and we will go to
+town together, after you have rested yourself a day or two here.  All the
+other directions, which I gave you in my former letter, hold still the
+same.  But, notwithstanding this regulation, should you have any
+particular reasons for leaving Paris two or three days sooner or later,
+than the above mentioned, 'vous etes maitre'.  Make all your arrangements
+at Paris for about a six weeks stay in England at farthest.
+
+I had a letter the other day from Lord Huntingdon, of which one-half at
+least was your panegyric; it was extremely welcome to me from so good a
+hand.  Cultivate that friendship; it will do you honor and give you
+strength.  Connections, in our mixed parliamentary government, are of
+great use.
+
+I send you here inclosed the particular price of each of the mohairs;
+but I do not suppose that you will receive a shilling for anyone of them.
+However, if any of your ladies should take an odd fancy to pay, the
+shortest way, in the course of business, is for you to keep the money,
+and to take so much less from Sir John Lambert in your next draught upon
+him.
+
+I am very sorry to hear that Lady Hervey is ill.  Paris does not seem to
+agree with her; she used to have great health here.  'A propos' of her;
+remember, when you are with me, not to mention her but when you and I are
+quite alone, for reasons which I will tell you when we meet: but this is
+only between you and me; and I desire that you will not so much as hint
+it to her, or to anybody else.
+
+If old Kurzay goes to the valley of Jehoshaphat, I cannot help it; it
+will be an ease to our friend Madame Montconseil, who I believe maintains
+her, and a little will not satisfy her in any way.
+
+Remember to bring your mother some little presents; they need not be of
+value, but only marks of your affection and duty for one who has always
+been tenderly fond of you.  You may bring Lady Chesterfield a little
+Martin snuffbox of about five Louis ; and you need bring over no other
+presents; you and I not wanting 'les petits presens pour entretenir
+l'amitee'.
+
+Since I wrote what goes before, I have talked you over minutely with Lord
+Albemarle, who told me, that he could very sincerely commend you upon
+every article but one; but upon that one you were often joked, both by
+him and others.  I desired to know what that was; he laughed and told me
+it was the article of dress, in which you were exceedingly negligent.
+Though he laughed, I can assure you that it is no laughing matter for
+you; and you will possibly be surprised when I assert (but, upon my word,
+it is literally true), that to be very well dressed is of much more
+importance to you, than all the Greek you know will, be of these thirty
+years.  Remember that the world is now your only business; and that you
+must adopt its customs and manners, be they silly or be they not.  To
+neglect your dress, is an affront to all the women you keep company with;
+as it implies that you do not think them worth that attention which
+everybody else doth; they mind dress, and you will never please them if
+you neglect yours; and if you do not please the women, you will not
+please half the men you otherwise might.  It is the women who put a young
+fellow in fashion even with the men.  A young fellow ought to have a
+certain fund of coquetry; which should make him try all the means of
+pleasing, as much as any coquette in Europe can do.  Old as I am, and
+little thinking of women, God knows, I am very far from being negligent
+of my dress; and why?  From conformity to custom, and out of decency to
+men, who expect that degree of complaisance.  I do not, indeed, wear
+feathers and red heels, which would ill suit my age; but I take care to
+have my clothes well made, my wig well combed and powdered, my linen and
+person extremely clean.  I even allow my footman forty shillings a year
+extraordinary, that they may be spruce and neat.  Your figure especially,
+which from its stature cannot be very majestic and interesting, should be
+the more attended to in point of dress as it cannot be 'imposante', it
+should be 'gentile, aimable, bien mise'.  It will not admit of negligence
+and carelessness.
+
+I believe Mr. Hayes thinks that you have slighted him a little of late,
+since you have got into so much other company.  I do not by any means
+blame you for not frequenting his house so much as you did at first,
+before you had got into so many other houses more entertaining and more
+instructing than his; on the contrary, you do very well; but, however,
+as he was extremely civil to you, take care to be so to him, and make up
+in manner what you omit in matter.  See him, dine with him before you
+come away, and ask his commands for England.
+
+Your triangular seal is done, and I have given it to an English
+gentleman, who sets out in a week for Paris, and who will deliver it to
+Sir John Lambert for you.
+
+I cannot conclude this letter without returning again to the showish, the
+ornamental, the shining parts of your character; which, if you neglect,
+upon my word you will render the solid ones absolutely useless; nay, such
+is the present turn of the world, that some valuable qualities are even
+ridiculous, if not accompanied by the genteeler accomplishments.
+Plainness, simplicity, and quakerism, either in dress or manners, will by
+no means do; they must both be laced and embroidered; speaking, or
+writing sense, without elegance and turn, will be very little persuasive;
+and the best figure in the world, without air and address, will be very
+ineffectual.  Some pedants may have told you that sound sense and
+learning stand in, need of no ornaments; and, to support that assertion,
+elegantly quote the vulgar proverb, that GOOD WINE NEEDS NO BUSH; but
+surely the little experience you have already had of the world must have
+convinced you that the contrary of that assertion is true.  All those
+accomplishments are now in your power; think of them, and of them only.
+I hope you frequent La Foire St. Laurent, which I see is now open; you
+will improve more by going there with your mistress, than by staying at
+home and reading Euclid with your geometry master.  Adieu.  'Divertissez-
+vous, il n'y a rien de tel'.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CLII
+
+GREENWICH, July 15, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  As this is the last, or last letter but one, that I
+think I shall write before I have the pleasure of seeing you here, it may
+not be amiss to prepare you a little for our interview, and for the time
+we shall pass together.  Before kings and princes meet, ministers on each
+side adjust the important points of precedence, arm chairs, right hand
+and left, etc., so that they know previously what they are to expect,
+what they have to trust to; and it is right they should; for they
+commonly envy or hate, but most certainly distrust each other.  We shall
+meet upon very different terms; we want no such preliminaries: you know
+my tenderness, I know your affection.  My only object, therefore, is to
+make your short stay with me as useful as I can to you; and yours, I
+hope, is to co-operate with me.  Whether, by making it wholesome, I shall
+make it pleasant to you, I am not sure.  Emetics and cathartics I shall
+not administer, because I am sure you do not want them; but for
+alteratives you must expect a great many; and I can tell you that I have
+a number of NOSTRUMS, which I shall communicate to nobody but yourself.
+To speak without a metaphor, I shall endeavor to assist your youth with
+all the experience that I have purchased, at the price of seven and fifty
+years.  In order to this, frequent reproofs, corrections, and admonitions
+will be necessary; but then, I promise you, that they shall be in a
+gentle, friendly, and secret manner; they shall not put you out of
+countenance in company, nor out of humor when we are alone.  I do not
+expect that, at nineteen, you should have that knowledge of the world,
+those manners, that dexterity, which few people have at nine-and-twenty.
+But I will endeavor to give them you; and I am sure you will endeavor to
+learn them, as far as your youth, my experience, and the time we shall
+pass together, will allow.  You may have many inaccuracies (and to be
+sure you have, for who has not at your age?) which few people will tell
+you of, and some nobody can tell you of but myself.  You may possibly
+have others, too, which eyes less interested, and less vigilant than
+mine, do not discover; all those you shall hear of from one whose
+tenderness for you will excite his curiosity and sharpen his penetration.
+The smallest inattention or error in manners, the minutest inelegance of
+diction, the least awkwardness in your dress and carriage, will not
+escape my observation, nor pass without amicable correction.  Two, the
+most intimate friends in the world, can freely tell each other their
+faults, and even their crimes, but cannot possibly tell each other of
+certain little weaknesses; awkwardnesses, and blindnesses of self-love;
+to authorize that unreserved freedom, the relation between us is
+absolutely necessary.  For example, I had a very worthy friend, with whom
+I was intimate enough to tell him his faults; he had but few; I told him
+of them; he took it kindly of me, and corrected them.  But then, he had
+some weaknesses that I could never tell him of directly, and which he was
+so little sensible of himself, that hints of them were lost upon him.
+He had a scrag neck, of about a yard long; notwithstanding which, bags
+being in fashion, truly he would wear one to his wig, and did so ; but
+never behind him, for, upon every motion of his head, his bag came
+forward over one shoulder or the other.  He took it into his head too,
+that he must occasionally dance minuets, because other people did; and he
+did so, not only extremely ill, but so awkward, so disjointed, slim, so
+meagre, was his figure, that had he danced as well as ever Marcel did, it
+would have been ridiculous in him to have danced at all.  I hinted these
+things to him as plainly as friendship would allow, and to no purpose;
+but to have told him the whole, so as to cure him, I must have been his
+father, which, thank God, I am not.  As fathers commonly go, it is seldom
+a misfortune to be fatherless; and, considering the general run of sons,
+as seldom a misfortune to be childless.  You and I form, I believe, an
+exception to that rule; for, I am persuaded that we would neither of us
+change our relation, were it in our power.  You will, I both hope and
+believe, be not only the comfort, but the pride of my age; and, I am
+sure, I will be the support, the friend, the guide of your youth.  Trust
+me without reserve; I will advise you without private interest, or secret
+envy.  Mr. Harte will do so too; but still there may be some little
+things proper for you to know, and necessary for you to correct, which
+even his friendship would not let him tell you of so freely as I should;
+and some, of which he may not possibly be so good a judge of as I am, not
+having lived so much in the great world.
+
+One principal topic of our conversation will be, not only the purity but
+the elegance of the English language; in both which you are very
+deficient.  Another will be the constitution of this country, of which,
+I believe, you know less than of most other countries in Europe.
+Manners, attentions, and address, will also be the frequent subjects of
+our lectures; and whatever I know of that important and necessary art,
+the art of pleasing.  I will unreservedly communicate to you.  Dress too
+(which, as things are, I can logically prove, requires some attention)
+will not always escape our notice.  Thus, my lectures will be more
+various, and in some respects more useful than Professor Mascow's, and
+therefore, I can tell you, that I expect to be paid for them; but, as
+possibly you would not care to part with your ready money, and as I do
+not think that it would be quite handsome in me to accept it, I will
+compound for the payment, and take it in attention and practice.
+
+Pray remember to part with all your friends, acquaintances, and
+mistresses, if you have any at Paris, in such a manner as may make them
+not only willing but impatient to see you there again.  Assure them of
+your desire of returning to them; and do it in a manner that they may
+think you in earnest, that is 'avec onction et une espece
+d'attendrissement'.  All people say, pretty near the same things upon
+those occasions; it is the manner only that makes the difference; and
+that difference is great.  Avoid, however, as much as you can, charging
+yourself with commissions, in your return from hence to Paris; I know, by
+experience, that they are exceedingly troublesome, commonly expensive,
+and very seldom satisfactory at last, to the persons who gave them; some
+you cannot refuse, to people to whom you are obliged, and would oblige in
+your turn; but as to common fiddle-faddle commissions, you may excuse
+yourself from them with truth, by saying that you are to return to Paris
+through Flanders, and see all those great towns; which I intend you shall
+do, and stay a week or ten days at Brussels.  Adieu!  A good journey to
+you, if this is my last; if not, I can repeat again what I shall wish
+constantly.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CLIII
+
+LONDON, December 19, O.  S.  1751 --[Note the date, which indicates that
+the sojourn with the author has ended.]
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: You are now entered upon a scene of business, where I
+hope you will one day make a figure.  Use does a great deal, but care and
+attention must be joined to it.  The first thing necessary in writing
+letters of business, is extreme clearness and perspicuity; every
+paragraph should be so clear and unambiguous, that the dullest fellow in
+the world may not be able to mistake it, nor obliged to read it twice in
+order to understand it.  This necessary clearness implies a correctness,
+without excluding an elegance of style.  Tropes, figures, antitheses,
+epigrams, etc., would be as misplaced and as impertinent in letters of
+business, as they are sometimes (if judiciously used) proper and pleasing
+in familiar letters, upon common and trite subjects.  In business, an
+elegant simplicity, the result of care, not of labor, is required.
+Business must be well, not affectedly dressed; but by no means
+negligently.  Let your first attention be to clearness, and read every
+paragraph after you have written it, in the critical view of discovering
+whether it is possible that any one man can mistake the true sense of it:
+and correct it accordingly.
+
+Our pronouns and relatives often create obscurity or ambiguity; be
+therefore exceedingly attentive to them, and take care to mark out with
+precision their particular relations.  For example, Mr. Johnson
+acquainted me that he had seen Mr. Smith, who had promised him to speak
+to Mr. Clarke, to return him (Mr. Johnson) those papers, which he (Mr.
+Smith) had left some time ago with him (Mr. Clarke): it is better to
+repeat a name, though unnecessarily, ten times, than to have the person
+mistaken once.  WHO, you know, is singly relative to persons, and cannot
+be applied to things; WHICH and THAT are chiefly relative to things, but
+not absolutely exclusive of persons; for one may say, the man THAT robbed
+or killed such-a-one; but it is better to say, the man WHO robbed or
+killed.  One never says, the man or the woman WHICH.  WHICH and THAT,
+though chiefly relative to things, cannot be always used indifferently as
+to things, and the 'euoovca' must sometimes determine their, place.  For
+instance, the letter WHICH I received from you, WHICH you referred to in
+your last, WHICH came by Lord Albemarle's messenger WHICH I showed to
+such-a-one; I would change it thus--The letter THAT I received from you;
+WHICH you referred to in your last, THAT came by Lord Albemarle's
+messenger, and WHICH I showed to such-a-one.
+
+Business does not exclude (as possibly you wish it did) the usual terms
+of politeness and good-breeding; but, on the contrary, strictly requires
+them: such as, I HAVE THE HONOR TO ACQUAINT YOUR LORDSHIP; PERMIT ME TO
+ASSURE YOU; IF I MAY BE ALLOWED TO GIVE MY OPINION, etc.  For the
+minister abroad, who writes to the minister at home, writes to his
+superior; possibly to his patron, or at least to one who he desires
+should be so.
+
+Letters of business will not only admit of, but be the better for CERTAIN
+GRACES--but then, they must be scattered with a sparing and skillful
+hand; they must fit their place exactly.  They must decently adorn
+without encumbering, and modestly shine without glaring.  But as this is
+the, utmost degree of perfection in letters of business, I would not
+advise you to attempt those embellishments, till you have first laid your
+foundation well.
+
+Cardinal d'Ossat's letters are the true letters of business; those of
+Monsieur d'Avaux are excellent; Sir William Temple's are very pleasing,
+but, I fear, too affected.  Carefully avoid all Greek or Latin
+quotations; and bring no precedents from the VIRTUOUS SPARTANS, THE
+POLITE ATHENIANS, AND THE BRAVE ROMANS.  Leave all that to futile
+pedants.  No flourishes, no declamation.  But (I repeat it again) there
+is an elegant simplicity and dignity of style absolutely necessary for
+good letters of business; attend to that carefully.  Let your periods be
+harmonious, without seeming to be labored; and let them not be too long,
+for that always occasions a degree of obscurity.  I should not mention
+correct orthography, but that you very often fail in that particular,
+which will bring ridicule upon you; for no man is allowed to spell ill.
+I wish too that your handwriting were much better; and I cannot conceive
+why it is not, since every man may certainly write whatever hand he
+pleases.  Neatness in folding up, sealing, and directing your packets, is
+by no means to be neglected; though, I dare say, you think it is.  But
+there is something in the exterior, even of a packet, that may please or
+displease; and consequently worth some attention.
+
+You say that your time is very well employed; and so it is, though as yet
+only in the outlines, and first ROUTINE of business.  They are previously
+necessary to be known; they smooth the way for parts and dexterity.
+Business requires no conjuration nor supernatural talents, as people
+unacquainted with it are apt to think.  Method, diligence, and
+discretion, will carry a man, of good strong common sense, much higher
+than the finest parts, without them, can do.  'Par negotiis, neque
+supra', is the true character of a man of business; but then it implies
+ready attention and no ABSENCES, and a flexibility and versatility of
+attention from one object to another, without being engrossed by anyone.
+
+Be upon your guard against the pedantry and affectation of business which
+young people are apt to fall into, from the pride of being concerned in
+it young.  They look thoughtful, complain of the weight of business,
+throw out mysterious hints, and seem big with secrets which they do not
+know.  Do you, on the contrary, never talk of business but to those with
+whom you are to transact it; and learn to seem vacuus and idle, when you
+have the most business.  Of all things, the 'volte sciollo', and the
+'pensieri stretti', are necessary.  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CLIV
+
+LONDON, December 30, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: The parliaments are the courts of justice of France, and
+are what our courts of justice in Westminster-Hall are here.  They used
+anciently to follow the court, and administer justice in presence of the
+King.  Philip le Bel first fixed it at Paris, by an edict of 1302.  It
+consisted then of but one chambre, which was called 'la Chambre des
+Prelats', most of the members being ecclesiastics; but the multiplicity
+of business made it by degrees necessary to create several other
+chambres.  It consists now of seven chambres:
+
+'La Grande Chambre', which is the highest court of justice, and to which
+appeals lie from the others.
+
+'Les cinq Chambres des Enquetes', which are like our Common Pleas, and
+Court of Exchequer.
+
+'La Tournelle', which is the court for criminal justice, and answers to
+our Old Bailey and King's Bench.
+
+There are in all twelve parliaments in France:
+1.  Paris
+2.  Toulouse
+3.  Grenoble
+4.  Bourdeaux
+5.  Dijon
+6.  Rouen
+7.  Aix en Provence
+8.  Rennes en Bretagne
+9.  Pau en Navarre
+10.  Metz
+11.  Dole en Franche Comte
+12.  Douay
+
+There are three 'Conseils Souverains', which may almost be called
+parliaments; they are those of:
+
+Perpignan      Arras     Alsace
+
+For further particulars of the French parliaments, read 'Bernard de la
+Rochefavin des Parlemens de France', and other authors, who have treated
+that subject constitutionally.  But what will be still better, converse
+upon it with people of sense and knowledge, who will inform you of the
+particular objects of the several chambres, and the businesses of the
+respective members, as, 'les Presidens, les Presidens a Mortier' (these
+last so called from their black velvet caps laced with gold), 'les
+Maitres tres des Requetes, les Greffiers, le Procureur General, les
+Avocats Generaux, les Conseillers', etc.  The great point in dispute is
+concerning the powers of the parliament of Paris in matters of state, and
+relatively to the Crown.  They pretend to the powers of the States-
+General of France when they used to be assembled (which, I think, they
+have not been since the reign of Lewis the Thirteenth, in the year 1615).
+The Crown denies those pretensions, and considers them only as courts of
+justice.  Mezeray seems to be on the side of the parliament in this
+question, which is very well worth your inquiry.  But, be that as it
+will, the parliament of Paris is certainly a very respectable body, and
+much regarded by the whole kingdom.  The edicts of the Crown, especially
+those for levying money on the subjects, ought to be registered in
+parliament; I do not say to have their effect, for the Crown would take
+good care of that; but to have a decent appearance, and to procure a
+willing acquiescence in the nation.  And the Crown itself, absolute as it
+is, does not love that strong opposition, and those admirable
+remonstrances, which it sometimes meets with from the parliaments.
+Many of those detached pieces are very well worth your collecting;
+and I remember, a year or two ago, a remonstrance of the parliament of
+Douay, upon the subject, as I think, of the 'Vingtieme', which was in my
+mind one of the finest and most moving compositions I ever read.
+They owned themselves, indeed, to be slaves, and showed their chains:
+but humbly begged of his Majesty to make them a little lighter, and less
+galling.
+
+THE STATES OF FRANCE were general assemblies of the three states or
+orders of the kingdom; the Clergy, the Nobility, and the 'Tiers Etat',
+that is, the people.  They used to be called together by the King, upon
+the most important affairs of state, like our Lords and Commons in
+parliament, and our Clergy in convocation.  Our parliament is our states,
+and the French parliaments are only their courts of justice.
+The Nobility consisted of all those of noble extraction, whether
+belonging to the SWORD or to the ROBE, excepting such as were chosen
+(which sometimes happened) by the Tiers Etat as their deputies to the
+States-General.  The Tiers Etat was exactly our House of Commons, that
+is, the people, represented by deputies of their own choosing.  Those who
+had the most considerable places, 'dans la robe', assisted at those
+assemblies, as commissioners on the part of the Crown.  The States met,
+for the first time that I can find (I mean by the name of 'les etats'),
+in the reign of Pharamond, 424, when they confirmed the Salic law.  From
+that time they have been very frequently assembled, sometimes upon
+important occasions, as making war and peace, reforming abuses, etc.; at
+other times, upon seemingly trifling ones, as coronations, marriages,
+etc.  Francis the First assembled them, in 1526, to declare null and void
+his famous treaty of Madrid, signed and sworn to by him during his
+captivity there.  They grew troublesome to the kings and to their
+ministers, and were but seldom called after the power of the Crown grew
+strong; and they have never been heard of since the year 1615.  Richelieu
+came and shackled the nation, and Mazarin and Lewis the Fourteenth
+riveted the shackles.
+
+There still subsist in some provinces in France, which are called 'pais
+d etats', an humble local imitation, or rather mimicry, of the great
+'etats', as in Languedoc, Bretagne, etc.  They meet, they speak, they
+grumble, and finally submit to whatever the King orders.
+
+Independently of the intrinsic utility of this kind of knowledge to every
+man of business, it is a shame for any man to be ignorant of it,
+especially relatively to any country he has been long in.  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+ETEXT EDITOR'S INDEX BOOKMARKS:
+
+A favor may make an enemy, and an injury may make a friend . . . . . . .
+Affectation of business. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Applauded often, without approving . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+At the first impulse of passion, be silent till you can be soft. . . . .
+Avoid cacophony, and, what is very near as bad, monotony . . . . . . . .
+Be silent till you can be soft . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Being intelligible is now no longer the fashion. . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Better refuse a favor gracefully, than to grant it clumsily. . . . . . .
+Bolingbroke. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Bruyere. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Business must be well, not affectedly dressed. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Business now is to shine, not to weigh . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+But stoops to conquer, and but kneels to rise. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Cease to love when you cease to be agreeable . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Chit-chat, useful to keep off improper and too serious subjects. . . . .
+Committing acts of hostility upon the Graces . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Concealed what learning I had. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Consciousness of merit makes a man of sense more modest. . . . . . . . .
+Disagreeable things may be done so agreeably as almost to oblige . . . .
+Disputes with heat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Dr. Fell . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Easy without negligence. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Elegance in one language will reproduce itself in all. . . . . . . . . .
+Every man knows that he understands religion and politics. . . . . . . .
+Every numerous assembly is MOB . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Everybody is good for something. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Expresses himself with more fire than elegance . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Frank without indiscretion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Full-bottomed wigs were contrived for his humpback . . . . . . . . . . .
+Gentleness of manners, with firmness of mind . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+German, who has taken into his head that he understands French . . . . .
+Grow wiser when it is too late . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Habitual eloquence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Hand of a school-boy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Hardened to the wants and distresses of mankind. . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Have you learned to carve? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+If free from the guilt, be free from the suspicion, too. . . . . . . . .
+Inclined to be fat, but I hope you will decline it . . . . . . . . . . .
+Indolently say that they cannot do . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Information implies our previous ignorance; it must be sweetened . . . .
+Information is, in a certain degree, mortifying. . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Insinuates himself only into the esteem of fools . . . . . . . . . . . .
+It is a real inconvenience to anybody to be fat. . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Know, yourself and others. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Knowing how much you have, and how little you want . . . . . . . . . . .
+Last beautiful varnish, which raises the colors. . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Learn to keep your own secrets . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Loved without being despised, and feared without being hated . . . . . .
+Man of sense may be in haste, but can never be in a hurry. . . . . . . .
+Mangles what he means to carve . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Mazarin and Lewis the Fourteenth riveted the shackles. . . . . . . . . .
+Meditation and reflection. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Mere reason and good sense is never to be talked to a mob. . . . . . . .
+Mistimes or misplaces everything . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Mitigating, engaging words do by no means weaken your argument . . . . .
+MOB: Understanding they have collectively none . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Often necessary, not to manifest all one feels . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+One must often yield, in order to prevail. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Only because she will not, and not because she cannot. . . . . . . . . .
+Our frivolous dissertations upon the weather, or upon whist. . . . . . .
+Outward air of modesty to all he does. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Richelieu came and shackled the nation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Rochefoucault. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Rochefoucault, who, I am afraid, paints man very exactly . . . . . . . .
+See what you see, and to hear what you hear. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Seems to have no opinion of his own. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Seldom a misfortune to be childless. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+She has uncommon, sense and knowledge for a woman. . . . . . . . . . . .
+Speaking to himself in the glass . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Style is the dress of thoughts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Success turns much more upon manner than matter. . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Swift. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Tacitus. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Take characters, as they do most things, upon trust. . . . . . . . . . .
+They thought I informed, because I pleased them. . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Unaffected silence upon that subject is the only true medium . . . . . .
+Unintelligible to his readers, and sometimes to himself. . . . . . . . .
+Use palliatives when you contradict. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+We love to be pleased better than to be informed . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Woman like her, who has always pleased, and often been pleased . . . . .
+Women are the only refiners of the merit of men. . . . . . . . . . . . .
+Yielded commonly without conviction. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
+
+
+
+
+
+End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of Letters to His Son, 1751
+by The Earl of Chesterfield
+
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+The Project Gutenberg Etext of Letters to His Son, 1751
+#5 in our series by The Earl of Chesterfield
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+Title: Letters to His Son, 1751
+
+Author: The Earl of Chesterfield
+
+Release Date: August, 2002  [Etext #3355]
+[Yes, we are about one year ahead of schedule]
+[The actual date this file first posted = 03/03/01]
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+The Project Gutenberg Etext of Chesterfield's Letters to His Son, 1751
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+
+
+
+
+
+                           LETTERS TO HIS SON
+                                 1751
+
+                      By the EARL OF CHESTERFIELD
+
+                     on the Fine Art of becoming a
+
+                            MAN OF THE WORLD
+
+                                 and a
+
+                               GENTLEMAN
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXVI
+
+LONDON, January 8, O.S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: By your letter of the 5th, N. S., I find that your
+'debut' at Paris has been a good one; you are entered into good company,
+and I dare say you will, not sink into bad.  Frequent the houses where
+you have been once invited, and have none of that shyness which makes
+most of your countrymen strangers, where they might be intimate and
+domestic if they pleased.  Wherever you have a general invitation to sup
+when you please, profit of it, with decency, and go every now and then.
+Lord Albemarle will, I am sure, be extremely kind to you, but his house
+is only a dinner house; and, as I am informed, frequented by no French
+people.  Should he happen to employ you in his bureau, which I much
+doubt, you must write a better hand than your common one, or you will get
+no credit by your manuscripts; for your hand is at present an illiberal
+one; it is neither a hand of business nor of a gentleman, but the hand of
+a school-boy writing his exercise, which he hopes will never be read.
+
+Madame de Monconseil gives me a favorable account of you; and so do
+Marquis de Matignon and Madame du Boccage; they all say that you desire
+to please, and consequently promise me that you will; and they judge
+right; for whoever really desires to please, and has (as you now have)
+the means of learning how, certainly will please and that is the great
+point of life; it makes all other things easy.  Whenever you are with
+Madame de Monconseil, Madame du Boccage, or other women of fashion, with
+whom you are tolerably free, say frankly and naturally: "I know little of
+the world; I am quite a novice in it; and although very desirous of
+pleasing, I am at a loss for the means.  Be so good, Madame, as to let me
+into your secret of pleasing everybody.  I shall owe my success to it,
+and you will always have more than falls to your share."  When, in
+consequence of this request, they shall tell you of any little error,
+awkwardness, or impropriety, you should not only feel, but express the
+warmest acknowledgment.  Though nature should suffer, and she will at
+first hearing them, tell them, that you will look upon the most severe
+criticisms as the greatest proof of their friendship.  Madame du Boccage
+tells me, particularly, to inform you: "I shall always, receive the honor
+of his visits with pleasure; it is true, that at his age the pleasures of
+conversation are cold; but I will endeavor to make him acquainted with
+young people," etc.
+
+Make use of this invitation, and as you live, in a manner, next door to
+her, step in and out there frequently.  Monsieur du Boccage will go with
+you, he tells me, with great pleasure, to the plays, and point out to you
+whatever deserves your knowing there.  This is worth your acceptance too;
+he has a very good taste.  I have not yet heard from Lady Hervey upon
+your subject; but as you inform me that you have already supped with her
+once, I look upon you as adopted by her; consult her in all your little
+matters; tell her any difficulties that may occur to you; ask her what
+you should do or say in such or such cases; she has 'l'usage du monde en
+perfection', and will help you to acquire it.  Madame de Berkenrode 'est
+paitrie de graces', and your quotation is very applicable to her.  You
+may be there, I dare say, as often as you please, and I would advise you
+to sup there once a week.
+
+You say, very justly, that as Mr. Harte is leaving you, you shall want
+advice more than ever; you shall never want mine; and as you have already
+had so much of it, I must rather repeat than add to what I have already
+given you; but that I will do, and add to it occasionally, as
+circumstances may require.  At present I shall only remind you of your
+two great objects, which you should always attend to; they are parliament
+and foreign affairs.  With regard to the former, you can do nothing while
+abroad but attend carefully to the purity, correctness, and elegance of
+your diction; the clearness and gracefulness of your utterance, in
+whatever language you speak.  As for the parliamentary knowledge, I will
+take care of that when you come home.  With regard to foreign affairs,
+everything you do abroad may and ought to tend that way.  Your reading
+should be chiefly historical; I do not mean of remote, dark, and fabulous
+history, still less of jimcrack natural history of fossils, minerals,
+plants, etc., but I mean the useful, political, and constitutional
+history of Europe, for these last three centuries and a half.  The other
+thing necessary for your foreign object, and not less necessary than
+either ancient or modern knowledge, is a great knowledge of the world,
+manners, politeness, address, and 'le ton de la bonne compagnie'.  In
+that view, keeping a great deal of good company, is the principal point
+to which you are now to attend.  It seems ridiculous to tell you, but it
+is most certainly true, that your dancing-master is at this time the man
+in all Europe of the greatest importance to you.  You must dance well,
+in order to sit, stand, and walk well; and you must do all these well in
+order to please.  What with your exercises, some reading, and a great
+deal of company, your day is, I confess, extremely taken up; but the day,
+if well employed, is long enough for everything; and I am sure you will
+not slattern away one moment of it in inaction.  At your age, people have
+strong and active spirits, alacrity and vivacity in all they do; are
+'impigri', indefatigable, and quick.  The difference is, that a young
+fellow of parts exerts all those happy dispositions in the pursuit of
+proper objects; endeavors to excel in the solid, and in the showish parts
+of life; whereas a silly puppy, or a dull rogue, throws away all his
+youth and spirit upon trifles, where he is serious or upon disgraceful
+vices, while he aims at pleasures.  This I am sure will not be your case;
+your good sense and your good conduct hitherto are your guarantees with
+me for the future.  Continue only at Paris as you have begun, and your
+stay there will make you, what I have always wished you to be, as near
+perfection as our nature permits.
+
+Adieu, my dear; remember to write to me once a-week, not as to a father,
+but, without reserve, as to a friend.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXVII
+
+LONDON, January 14, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  Among the many good things Mr. Harte has told me of you,
+two in particular gave me great pleasure.  The first, that you are
+exceedingly careful and jealous of the dignity of your character; that is
+the sure and solid foundation upon which you must both stand and rise.
+A man's moral character is a more delicate thing than a woman's
+reputation of chastity.  A slip or two may possibly be forgiven her, and
+her character may be clarified by subsequent and continued good conduct:
+but a man's moral character once tainted is irreparably destroyed.  The
+second was, that you had acquired a most correct and extensive knowledge
+of foreign affairs, such as the history, the treaties, and the forms of
+government of the several countries of Europe.  This sort of knowledge,
+little attended to here, will make you not only useful, but necessary,
+in your future destination, and carry you very far.  He added that you
+wanted from hence some books relative to our laws and constitution, our
+colonies, and our commerce; of which you know less than of those of any
+other part of Europe.  I will send you what short books I can find of
+that sort, to give you a general notion of those things: but you cannot
+have time to go into their depths at present--you cannot now engage with
+new folios; you and I will refer the constitutional part of this country
+to our meeting here, when we will enter seriously into it, and read the
+necessary books together.  In the meantime, go on in the course you are
+in, of foreign matters; converse with ministers and others of every
+country, watch the transactions of every court, and endeavor to trace
+them up to their source.  This, with your physics, your geometry, and
+your exercises, will be all that you can possibly have time for at Paris;
+for you must allow a great deal for company and pleasures: it is they
+that must give you those manners, that address, that 'tournure' of the
+'beau monde', which will qualify you for your future destination.  You
+must first please, in order to get the confidence, and consequently the
+secrets, of the courts and ministers for whom and with whom you
+negotiate.
+
+I will send you by the first opportunity a short book written by Lord
+Bolingbroke, under the name of Sir John Oldcastle, containing remarks
+upon the history of England; which will give you a clear general notion
+of our constitution, and which will serve you, at the same time, like all
+Lord Bolingbroke's works, for a model of eloquence and style.  I will
+also send you Sir Josiah Childe's little book upon trade, which may
+properly be called the "Commercial Grammar."  He lays down the true
+principles of commerce, and his conclusions from them are generally very
+just.
+
+Since you turn your thoughts a little toward trade and commerce, which I
+am very glad you do, I will recommend a French book to you, which you
+will easily get at Paris, and which I take to be the best book in the
+world of that kind: I mean the 'Dictionnaire de Commerce de Savory', in
+three volumes in folio; where you will find every one thing that relates
+to trade, commerce, specie, exchange, etc., most clearly stated; and not
+only relative to France, but to the whole world.  You will easily
+suppose, that I do not advise you to read such a book 'tout de suite';
+but I only mean that you should have it at hand, to have recourse to
+occasionally.
+
+With this great stock of both useful and ornamental knowledge, which you
+have already acquired, and which, by your application and industry, you
+are daily increasing, you will lay such a solid foundation of future
+figure and fortune, that if you complete it by all the accomplishments of
+manners, graces, etc., I know nothing which you may not aim at, and in
+time hope for.  Your great point at present at Paris, to which all other
+considerations must give way, is to become entirely a man of fashion: to
+be well-bred without ceremony, easy without negligence, steady and
+intrepid with modesty, genteel without affectation, insinuating without
+meanness, cheerful without being noisy, frank without indiscretion, and
+secret without mysteriousness; to know the proper time and place for
+whatever you say or do, and to do it with an air of condition all this is
+not so soon nor so easily learned as people imagine, but requires
+observation and time.  The world is an immense folio, which demands a
+great deal of time and attention to be read and understood as it ought to
+be; you have not yet read above four or five pages of it; and you will
+have but barely time to dip now and then in other less important books.
+
+Lord Albemarle has, I know, wrote {It is a pleasure for an ordinary
+mortal to find Lord Chesterfield in gramatical error--and he did it again
+in the last sentence of this paragraph--but this was 1751?  D.W.} to a
+friend of his here, that you do not frequent him so much as he expected
+and desired; that he fears somebody or other has given you wrong
+impressions of him; and that I may possibly think,
+from your being seldom at his house, that he has been wanting in his
+attentions to you.  I told the person who told me this, that, on the
+contrary, you seemed, by your letters to me, to be extremely pleased with
+Lord Albemarle's behavior to you: but that you were obliged to give up
+dining abroad during your course of experimental philosophy.  I guessed
+the true reason, which I believe was, that, as no French people frequent
+his house, you rather chose to dine at other places, where you were
+likely to meet with better company than your countrymen and you were in
+the right of it.  However, I would have you show no shyness to Lord
+Albemarle, but go to him, and dine with him oftener than it may be you
+would wish, for the sake of having him speak well of you here when he
+returns.  He is a good deal in fashion here, and his PUFFING you (to use
+an awkward expression) before you return here, will be of great use to
+you afterward.  People in general take characters, as they do most
+things, upon trust, rather than be at the trouble of examining them
+themselves; and the decisions of four or five fashionable people, in
+every place, are final, more particularly with regard to characters,
+which all can hear, and but few judge of.  Do not mention the least of
+this to any mortal; and take care that Lord Albemarle do not suspect that
+you know anything of the matter.
+
+Lord Huntingdon and Lord Stormount are, I hear, arrived at Paris; you
+have, doubtless, seen them.  Lord Stormount is well spoken of here;
+however, in your connections, if you form any with them, show rather a
+preference to Lord Huntingdon, for reasons which you will easily guess.
+
+Mr. Harte goes this week to Cornwall, to take possession of his living;
+he has been installed at Windsor; he will return here in about a month,
+when your literary correspondence with him will be regularly carried on.
+Your mutual concern at parting was a good sign for both.
+
+I have this moment received good accounts of you from Paris.  Go on 'vous
+etes en bon train'.  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXVIII
+
+LONDON, January 21, O. S..  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  In all my letters from Paris, I have the pleasure of
+finding, among many other good things, your docility mentioned with
+emphasis; this is the sure way of improving in those things, which you
+only want.  It is true they are little, but it is as true too that they
+are necessary things.  As they are mere matters of usage and mode, it is
+no disgrace for anybody of your age to be ignorant of them; and the most
+compendious way of learning them is, fairly to avow your ignorance, and
+to consult those who, from long usage and experience, know them best.
+Good sense and good-nature suggest civility in general; but, in good-
+breeding there are a thousand little delicacies, which are established
+only by custom; and it is these little elegances of manners which
+distinguish a courtier and a man of fashion from the vulgar.  I am
+assured by different people, that your air is already much improved; and
+one of my correspondents makes you the true French compliment of saying,
+'F'ose vous promettre qu'il sera bientot comme un de nos autres'.
+However unbecoming this speech may be in the mouth of a Frenchman, I am
+very glad that they think it applicable to you; for I would have you not
+only adopt, but rival, the best manners and usages of the place you are
+at, be they what they will; that is the versatility of manners which is
+so useful in the course of the world.  Choose your models well at Paris,
+and then rival them in their own way.  There are fashionable words,
+phrases, and even gestures, at Paris, which are called 'du bon ton'; not
+to mention 'certaines Petites politesses et attentions, qui ne sont rien
+en elle-memes', which fashion has rendered necessary.  Make yourself
+master of all these things; and to such a degree, as to make the French
+say, 'qu'on diroit que c'est un Francois'; and when hereafter you shall
+be at other courts, do the same thing there; and conform to the
+fashionable manners and usage of the place; that is what the French
+themselves are not apt to do; wherever they go, they retain their own
+manners, as thinking them the best; but, granting them to be so, they are
+still in the wrong not to conform to those of the place.  One would
+desire to please, wherever one is; and nothing is more innocently
+flattering than an approbation, and an imitation of the people one
+converses with.
+
+I hope your colleges with Marcel go on prosperously.  In these
+ridiculous, though, at the same time, really important lectures, pray
+attend, and desire your professor also to attend, more particularly to
+the chapter of the arms.  It is they that decide of a man's being genteel
+or otherwise, more than any other part of the body.  A twist or stiffness
+in the wrist, will make any man in Europe look awkward.  The next thing
+to be attended to is, your coming into a room, and presenting yourself to
+a company.  This gives the first impression; and the first impression is
+often a lasting one.  Therefore, pray desire Professor Marcel to make you
+come in and go out of his room frequently, and in the supposition of
+different companies being there; such as ministers, women, mixed
+companies, etc.  Those who present themselves well, have a certain
+dignity in their air, which, without the least seeming mixture of pride,
+at once engages, and is respected.
+
+I should not so often repeat, nor so long dwell upon such trifles, with
+anybody that had less solid and valuable knowledge than you have.
+Frivolous people attend to those things, 'par preference'; they know
+nothing else; my fear with you is, that, from knowing better things, you
+should despise these too much, and think them of much less consequence
+than they really are; for they are of a great deal, and more especially
+to you.
+
+Pleasing and governing women may, in time, be of great service to you.
+They often please and govern others.  'A propos', are you in love with
+Madame de Berkenrode still, or has some other taken her place in your
+affections?  I take it for granted, that 'qua to cumque domat Venus, non
+erubescendis adurit ignibus.  Un arrangement honnete sied bien a un
+galant homme'.  In that case I recommend to you the utmost discretion,
+and the profoundest silence.  Bragging of, hinting at, intimating, or
+even affectedly disclaiming and denying such an arrangement will equally
+discredit you among men and women.  An unaffected silence upon that
+subject is the only true medium.
+
+In your commerce with women, and indeed with men too, 'une certaine
+douceur' is particularly engaging; it is that which constitutes that
+character which the French talk of so much, and so justly value, I mean
+'l'aimable'.  This 'douceur' is not so easily described as felt.  It is
+the compound result of different things; a complaisance, a flexibility,
+but not a servility of manners; an air of softness in the countenance,
+gesture, and expression, equally whether you concur or differ with the
+person you converse with.  Observe those carefully who have that
+'douceur' that charms you and others; and your own good sense will soon
+enable you to discover the different ingredients of which it is composed.
+You must be more particularly attentive to this 'douceur', whenever you
+are obliged to refuse what is asked of you, or to say what in itself
+cannot be very agreeable to those to whom you say it.  It is then the
+necessary gilding of a disagreeable pill.  'L'aimable' consists in a
+thousand of these little things aggregately.  It is the 'suaviter in
+modo', which I have so often recommended to you.  The respectable, Mr.
+Harte assures me, you do not want, and I believe him.  Study, then,
+carefully; and acquire perfectly, the 'Aimable', and you will have
+everything.
+
+Abbe Guasco, who is another of your panegyrists, writes me word that he
+has taken you to dinner at Marquis de St. Germain's; where you will be
+welcome as often as you please, and the oftener the better.  Profit of
+that, upon the principle of traveling in different countries, without
+changing places.  He says, too, that he will take you to the parliament,
+when any remarkable cause is to be tried.  That is very well; go through
+the several chambers of the parliament, and see and hear what they are
+doing; join practice and observation to your theoretical knowledge of
+their rights and privileges.  No Englishman has the least notion of them.
+
+I need not recommend you to go to the bottom of the constitutional and
+political knowledge of countries; for Mr. Harte tells me that you have a
+peculiar turn that way, and have informed yourself most correctly of
+them.
+
+I must now put some queries to you, as to a 'juris publici peritus',
+which I am sure you can answer me, and which I own I cannot answer
+myself; they are upon a subject now much talked of.
+
+1st.  Are there any particular forms requisite for the election of a King
+of the Romans, different from those which are necessary for the election
+of an Emperor?
+
+2d.  Is not a King of the Romans as legally elected by the votes of a
+majority of the electors, as by two-thirds, or by the unanimity of the
+electors?
+
+3d.  Is there any particular law or constitution of the empire, that
+distinguishes, either in matter or in, form, the election of a King of
+the Romans from that of an Emperor?  And is not the golden bull of
+Charles the Fourth equally the rule for both?
+
+4th.  Were there not, at a meeting of a certain number of the electors (I
+have forgotten when), some rules and limitations agreed upon concerning
+the election of a King of the Romans?  And were those restrictions legal,
+and did they obtain the force of law?
+
+How happy am I, my dear child, that I can apply to you for knowledge, and
+with a certainty of being rightly informed!  It is knowledge, more than
+quick, flashy parts, that makes a man of business.  A man who is master
+of his matter, twill, with inferior parts, be too hard in parliament, and
+indeed anywhere else, for a man of-better parts, who knows his subject
+but superficially: and if to his knowledge he joins eloquence and
+elocution, he must necessarily soon be at the head of that assembly; but
+without those two, no knowledge is sufficient.
+
+Lord Huntingdon writes me word that he has seen you, and that you have
+renewed your old school-acquaintance.
+
+Tell me fairly your opinion of him, and of his friend Lord Stormount: and
+also of the other English people of fashion you meet with.  I promise you
+inviolable secrecy on my part.  You and I must now write to each other-
+as friends, and without the least reserve; there will for the future be a
+thousand-things in my letters, which I would not have any mortal living
+but yourself see or know.  Those you will easily distinguish, and neither
+show nor repeat; and I will do the same by you.
+
+To come to another subject (for I have a pleasure in talking over every
+subject with you): How deep are you in Italian?  Do you understand
+Ariosto, Tasso, Boccaccio and Machiavelli?  If you do, you know enough of
+it and may know all the rest, by reading, when you have time.  Little or
+no business is written in Italian, except in Italy; and if you know
+enough of it to understand the few Italian letters that may in time come
+in your way, and to speak Italian tolerably to those very few Italians
+who speak no French, give yourself no further trouble about that language
+till you happen to have full leisure to perfect yourself in it.  It is
+not the same with regard to German; your speaking and writing it well,
+will particularly distinguish you from every other man in England; and
+is, moreover, of great use to anyone who is, as probably you will be,
+employed in the Empire.  Therefore, pray cultivate them sedulously, by
+writing four or five lines of German every day, and by speaking it to
+every German you meet with.
+
+You have now got a footing in a great many good houses at Paris, in which
+I advise you to make yourself domestic.  This is to be done by a certain
+easiness of carriage, and a decent familiarity.  Not by way of putting
+yourself upon the frivolous footing of being 'sans consequence', but by
+doing in some degree, the honors of the house and table, calling yourself
+'en badinant le galopin d'ici', saying to the masters or mistress, 'ceci
+est de mon departement; je m'en charge; avouez, que je m'en acquitte a
+merveille.'  This sort of 'badinage' has something engaging and 'liant'
+in it, and begets that decent familiarity, which it is both agreeable and
+useful to establish in good houses and with people of fashion.  Mere
+formal visits, dinners, and suppers, upon formal invitations, are not the
+thing; they add to no connection nor information; but it is the easy,
+careless ingress and egress at all hours, that forms the pleasing and
+profitable commerce of life.
+
+The post is so negligent, that I lose some letters from Paris entirely,
+and receive others much later than I should.  To this I ascribe my having
+received no letter from you for above a fortnight, which to my impatience
+seems a long time.  I expect to hear from you once a-week.  Mr. Harte is
+gone to Cornwall, and will be back in about three weeks.  I have a packet
+of books to send you by the first opportunity, which I believe will be
+Mr. Yorke's return to Paris.  The, Greek books come from Mr. Harte, and
+the English ones from your humble servant.  Read Lord Bolingbroke's with
+great attention, as well to the style as to the matter.  I wish you could
+form yourself such a style in every language.  Style is the dress of
+thoughts; and a well-dressed thought, like a well-dressed man, appears to
+great advantage.  Yours.  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXIX
+
+LONDON, August 28, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: A bill for ninety pounds sterling was brought me the
+other day, said to be drawn upon me by you: I scrupled paying it at
+first, not upon account of the sum, but because you had sent me no letter
+of advice, which is always done in those transactions; and still more,
+because I did not perceive that you had signed it.  The person who
+presented it, desired me to look again, and that I should discover your
+name at the bottom: accordingly I looked again, and, with the help of my
+magnifying glass, did perceive that what I had first taken only for
+somebody's mark, was, in truth, your name, written in the worst and
+smallest hand I ever saw in my life.
+
+However, I paid it at a venture; though I would almost rather lose the
+money, than that such a signature should be yours.  All gentlemen, and
+all men of business, write their names always in the same way, that their
+signature may be so well known as not to be easily counterfeited; and
+they generally sign in rather larger character than their common hand;
+whereas your name was in a less, and a worse, than your common writing.
+This suggested to me the various accidents which may very probably happen
+to you, while you write so ill.  For instance, if you were to write in
+such a character to the Secretary's office, your letter would immediately
+be sent to the decipherer, as containing matters of the utmost secrecy,
+not fit to be trusted to the common character.  If you were to write so
+to an antiquarian, he (knowing you to be a man of learning) would
+certainly try it by the Runic, Celtic, or Sclavonian alphabet, never
+suspecting it to be a modern character.  And, if you were to send a
+'poulet' to a fine woman, in such a hand, she would think that it really
+came from the 'poulailler'; which, by the bye, is the etymology of the
+word 'poulet'; for Henry the Fourth of France used to send billets-doux
+to his mistresses by his 'poulailler', under pretense of sending them
+chickens; which gave the name of poulets to those short, but expressive
+manuscripts.  I have often told you that every man who has the use of his
+eyes and of his hand, can write whatever hand he pleases; and it is plain
+that you can, since you write both the Greek and German characters, which
+you never learned of a writing-master, extremely well, though your common
+hand, which you learned of a master, is an exceedingly bad and illiberal
+one; equally unfit for business or common use.  I do not desire that you
+should write the labored, stiff character of a writing-master: a man of
+business must write quick and well, and that depends simply upon use.
+I would therefore advise you to get some very good writing-master at
+Paris, and apply to it for a month only, which will be sufficient; for,
+upon my word, the writing of a genteel plain hand of business is of much
+more importance than you think.  You will say, it may be, that when you
+write so very ill, it is because you are in a hurry, to which I answer,
+Why are you ever in a hurry?  A man of sense may be in haste, but can
+never be in a hurry, because he knows that whatever he does in a hurry,
+he must necessarily do very ill.  He may be in haste to dispatch an
+affair, but he will care not to let that haste hinder his doing it well.
+Little minds are in a hurry, when the object proves (as it commonly does)
+too big for them; they run, they hare, they puzzle, confound, and perplex
+themselves: they want to do everything at once, and never do it at all.
+But a man of sense takes the time necessary for doing the thing he is
+about, well; and his haste to dispatch a business only appears by the
+continuity of his application to it: he pursues it with a cool
+steadiness, and finishes it before he begins any other.  I own your time
+is much taken up, and you have a great many different things to do; but
+remember that you had much better do half of them well and leave the
+other half undone, than do them all indifferently.  Moreover, the few
+seconds that are saved in the course of the day, by writing ill instead
+of well, do not amount to an object of time by any means equivalent to
+the disgrace or ridicule of writing the scrawl of a common whore.
+Consider, that if your very bad writing could furnish me with matter of
+ridicule, what will it not do to others who do not view you in that
+partial light that I do?  There was a pope, I think it was Cardinal
+Chigi, who was justly ridiculed for his attention to little things, and
+his inability in great ones: and therefore called maximus in minimis, and
+minimus in maximis.  Why?  Because he attended to little things when he
+had great ones to do.  At this particular period of your life, and at the
+place you are now in, you have only little things to do; and you should
+make it habitual to you to do them well, that they may require no
+attention from you when you have, as I hope you will have, greater things
+to mind.  Make a good handwriting familiar to you now, that you may
+hereafter have nothing but your matter to think of, when you have
+occasion to write to kings and ministers.  Dance, dress, present
+yourself, habitually well now, that you may have none of those little
+things to think of hereafter, and which will be all necessary to be done
+well occasionally, when you will have greater things to do.
+
+As I am eternally thinking of everything that can be relative to you, one
+thing has occurred to me, which I think necessary to mention to you, in
+order to prevent the difficulties which it might otherwise lay you under;
+it is this as you get more acquaintances at Paris, it will be impossible
+for you to frequent your first acquaintances so much as you did, while
+you had no others.  As, for example, at your first 'debut', I suppose you
+were chiefly at Madame Monconseil's, Lady Hervey's, and Madame du
+Boccage's.  Now, that you have got so many other houses, you cannot be at
+theirs so often as you used; but pray take care not to give them the
+least reason to think that you neglect, or despise them, for the sake of
+new and more dignified and shining acquaintances; which would be
+ungrateful and imprudent on your part, and never forgiven on theirs.
+Call upon them often, though you do not stay with them so long as
+formerly; tell them that you are sorry you are obliged to go away, but
+that you have such and such engagements, with which good-breeding obliges
+you to comply; and insinuate that you would rather stay with them.  In
+short, take care to make as many personal friends, and as few personal
+enemies, as possible.  I do not mean, by personal friends, intimate and
+confidential friends, of which no man can hope to have half a dozen in
+the whole course of his life; but I mean friends, in the common
+acceptation of the word; that is, people who speak well of you, and
+who would rather do you good than harm, consistently with their own
+interest, and no further.  Upon the whole, I recommend to you, again and
+again, 'les Graces'.  Adorned by them, you may, in a manner, do what you
+please; it will be approved of; without them, your best qualities will
+lose half their efficacy.  Endeavor to be fashionable among the French,
+which will soon make you fashionable here.  Monsieur de Matignon already
+calls you 'le petit Francois'.  If you can get that name generally at
+Paris, it will put you 'a la mode'.  Adieu, my dear child.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXX
+
+LONDON, February 4, O. S. 1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: The accounts which I receive of you from Paris grow every
+day more and more satisfactory.  Lord Albemarle has wrote a sort of
+panegyric of you, which has been seen by many people here, and which will
+be a very useful forerunner for you.  Being in fashion is an important
+point for anybody anywhere; but it would be a very great one for you to
+be established in the fashion here before you return.  Your business will
+be half done by it, as I am sure you would not give people reason to
+change their favorable presentiments of you.  The good that is said of
+you will not, I am convinced, make you a coxcomb; and, on the other hand,
+the being thought still to want some little accomplishments, will, I am
+persuaded, not mortify you, but only animate you to acquire them: I will,
+therefore, give you both fairly, in the following extract of a letter
+which I lately received from an impartial and discerning friend:--
+
+"Permit me to assure you, Sir, that Mr. Stanhope will succeed.  He has a
+great fund of knowledge, and an uncommonly good memory, although he does
+not make any parade of either the one or the other.  He is desirous of
+pleasing, and he will please.  He has an expressive countenance; his
+figure is elegant, although little.  He has not the least awkwardness,
+though he has not as yet acquired all-the graces requisite; which Marcel
+and the ladies will soon give him.  In short, he wants nothing but those
+things, which, at his age, must unavoidably be wanting; I mean, a certain
+turn and delicacy of manners, which are to be acquired only by time, and
+in good company.  Ready as he is, he will soon learn them; particularly
+as he frequents such companies as are the most proper to give them."
+
+By this extract, which I can assure you is a faithful one, you and I have
+both of us the satisfaction of knowing how much you have, and how little
+you want.  Let what you have give you (if possible) rather more SEEMING
+modesty, but at the same time more interior firmness and assurance; and
+let what you want, which you see is very attainable, redouble your
+attention and endeavors to acquire it.  You have, in truth, but that one
+thing to apply to and a very pleasing application it is, since it is
+through pleasures you must arrive at it.  Company, suppers, balls,
+spectacles, which show you the models upon which you should form
+yourself, and all the little usages, customs, and delicacies, which you
+must adopt and make habitual to you, are now your only schools and
+universities; in which young fellows and fine women will give you the
+best lectures.
+
+Monsieur du Boccage is another of your panegyrists; and he tells me that
+Madame Boccage 'a pris avec vous le ton de mie et de bonne'; and that you
+like it very well.  You are in the right of it; it is the way of
+improving; endeavor to be upon that footing with every woman you converse
+with; excepting where there may be a tender point of connection; a point
+which I have nothing to do with; but if such a one there is, I hope she
+has not 'de mauvais ni de vilains bras', which I agree with you in
+thinking a very disagreeable thing.
+
+I have sent you, by the opportunity of Pollok the courier, who was once
+my servant, two little parcels of Greek and English books; and shall send
+you two more by Mr. Yorke: but I accompany them with this caution, that
+as you have not much time to read, you should employ it in reading what
+is the most necessary, and that is, indisputably modern historical,
+geographical, chronological, and political knowledge; the present
+constitution, maxims, force, riches, trade, commerce, characters,
+parties, and cabals of the several courts of Europe.  Many who are
+reckoned good scholars, though they know pretty accurately the
+governments of Athens and Rome, are totally ignorant of the constitution
+of any one country now in Europe, even of their own.  Read just Latin and
+Greek enough to keep up your classical learning, which will be an
+ornament to you while young, and a comfort to you when old.  But the true
+useful knowledge, and especially for you, is the modern knowledge above
+mentioned.  It is that must qualify you both for domestic and foreign
+business, and it is to that, therefore, that you should principally
+direct your attention; and I know, with great pleasure, that you do so.
+I would not thus commend you to yourself, if I thought commendations
+would have upon you those ill effects, which they frequently have upon
+weak minds.  I think you are much above being a vain coxcomb, overrating
+your own merit, and insulting others with the superabundance of it.  On
+the contrary, I am convinced that the consciousness of merit makes a man
+of sense more modest, though more firm.  A man who displays his own merit
+is a coxcomb, and a man who does not know it is a fool.  A man of sense
+knows it, exerts it, avails himself of it, but never boasts of it; and
+always SEEMS rather to under than over value it, though in truth, he sets
+the right value upon it.  It is a very true maxim of La Bruyere's (an
+author well worth your studying), 'qu'on ne vaut dans ce monde, que ce
+que l'on veut valoir'.  A man who is really diffident, timid, and
+bashful, be his merit what it will, never can push himself in the world;
+his despondency throws him into inaction; and the forward, the bustling,
+and the petulant, will always get the better of him.  The manner makes
+the whole difference.  What would be impudence in one manner, is only a
+proper and decent assurance in another.  A man of sense, and of knowledge
+in the world, will assert his own rights, and pursue his own objects,
+as steadily and intrepidly as the most impudent man living, and commonly
+more so; but then he has art enough to give an outward air of modesty to
+all he does.  This engages and prevails, while the very same things shock
+and fail, from the overbearing or impudent manner only of doing them.
+I repeat my maxim, 'Suaviter in modo, sed fortiter in re'.  Would you
+know the characters, modes and manners of the latter end of the last age,
+which are very like those of the present, read La Bruyere.  But would you
+know man, independently of modes, read La Rochefoucault, who, I am
+afraid, paints him very exactly.
+
+Give the inclosed to Abbe Guasco, of whom you make good use, to go about
+with you, and see things.  Between you and me, he has more knowledge than
+parts.  'Mais un habile homme sait tirer parti de tout', and everybody is
+good for something.  President Montesquieu is, in every sense, a most
+useful acquaintance.  He has parts, joined to great reading and knowledge
+of the world.  'Puisez dans cette source tant que vous pourrez'.
+
+Adieu.  May the Graces attend you! for without them 'ogni fatica e vana'.
+If they do not come to you willingly, ravish them, and force them to
+accompany you in all you think, all you say, and all you do.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXI
+
+LONDON, February 11, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  When you go to the play, which I hope you do often, for
+it is a very instructive amusement, you must certainly have observed the
+very different effects which the several parts have upon you, according
+as they are well or ill acted.  The very best tragedy of, Corneille's,
+if well spoken and acted, interests, engages, agitates, and affects your
+passions.  Love, terror, and pity alternately possess you.  But, if ill
+spoken and acted, it would only excite your indignation or your laughter.
+Why?  It is still Corneille's; it is the same sense, the same matter,
+whether well or ill acted.  It is, then, merely the manner of speaking
+and acting that makes this great difference in the effects.  Apply this
+to yourself, and conclude from it, that if you would either please in a
+private company, or persuade in a public assembly, air, looks, gestures,
+graces, enunciation, proper accents, just emphasis, and tuneful cadences,
+are full as necessary as the matter itself.  Let awkward, ungraceful,
+inelegant, and dull fellows say what they will in behalf of their solid
+matter and strong reasonings; and let them despise all those graces and
+ornaments which engage the senses and captivate the heart; they will find
+(though they will possibly wonder why) that their rough, unpolished
+matter, and their unadorned, coarse, but strong arguments, will neither
+please nor persuade; but, on the contrary, will tire out attention, and
+excite disgust.  We are so made, we love to be pleased better than to be
+informed; information is, in a certain degree, mortifying, as it implies
+our previous ignorance; it must be sweetened to be palatable.
+
+To bring this directly to you: know that no man can make a figure in this
+country, but by parliament.  Your fate depends upon your success there as
+a speaker; and, take my word for it, that success turns much more upon
+manner than matter.  Mr. Pitt and Mr. Murray the solicitor-general, uncle
+to Lord Stormount, are, beyond comparison, the best speakers; why? only
+because they are the best orators.  They alone can inflame or quiet the
+House; they alone are so attended to, in that numerous and noisy
+assembly, that you might hear a pin fall while either of them is
+speaking.  Is it that their matter is better, or their arguments
+stronger, than other people's?  Does the House expect extraordinary
+informations from them?  Not, in the least: but the House expects
+pleasure from them, and therefore attends; finds it, and therefore
+approves.  Mr. Pitt, particularly, has very little parliamentary
+knowledge; his matter is generally flimsy, and his arguments often weak;
+but his eloquence is superior, his action graceful, his enunciation just
+and harmonious; his periods are well turned, and every word he makes use
+of is the very best, and the most expressive, that can be used in that
+place.  This, and not his matter, made him Paymaster, in spite of both
+king and ministers.  From this draw the obvious conclusion.  The same
+thing holds full as true in conversation; where even trifles, elegantly
+expressed, well looked, and accompanied with graceful action, will ever
+please, beyond all the homespun, unadorned sense in the world.  Reflect,
+on one side, how you feel within yourself, while you are forced to suffer
+the tedious, muddy, and ill-turned narration of some awkward fellow, even
+though the fact may be interesting; and, on the other hand, with what
+pleasure you attend to the relation of a much less interesting matter,
+when elegantly expressed, genteelly turned, and gracefully delivered.
+By attending carefully to all these agremens in your daily conversation,
+they will become habitual to you, before you come into parliament; and
+you will have nothing then, to do, but to raise them a little when you
+come there.  I would wish you to be so attentive to this object, that I,
+would not have you speak to your footman, but in the very best words that
+the subject admits of, be the language what it will.  Think of your
+words, and of their arrangement, before you speak; choose the most
+elegant, and place them in the best order.  Consult your own ear, to
+avoid cacophony, and, what is very near as bad, monotony.  Think also of
+your gesture and looks, when you are speaking even upon the most trifling
+subjects.  The same things, differently expressed, looked, and delivered,
+cease to be the same things.  The most passionate lover in the world
+cannot make a stronger declaration of love than the 'Bourgeois
+gentilhomme' does in this happy form of words, 'Mourir d'amour me font
+belle Marquise vos beaux yeux'.  I defy anybody to say more; and yet I
+would advise nobody to say that, and I would recommend to you rather to
+smother and conceal your passion entirely than to reveal it in these
+words.  Seriously, this holds in everything, as well as in that ludicrous
+instance.  The French, to do them justice, attend very minutely to the
+purity, the correctness, and the elegance of their style in conversation
+and in their letters.  'Bien narrer' is an object of their study; and
+though they sometimes carry it to affectation, they never sink into
+inelegance, which is much the worst extreme of the two.  Observe them,
+and form your French style upon theirs: for elegance in one language will
+reproduce itself in all.  I knew a young man, who, being just elected a
+member of parliament, was laughed at for being discovered, through the
+keyhole of his chamber-door, speaking to himself in the glass, and
+forming his looks and gestures.  I could not join in that laugh; but, on
+the contrary, thought him much wiser than those who laughed at him; for
+he knew the importance of those little graces in a public assembly, and
+they did not.  Your little person (which I am told, by the way, is not
+ill turned), whether in a laced coat or a blanket, is specifically the
+same; but yet, I believe, you choose to wear the former, and you are in
+the right, for the sake of pleasing more.  The worst-bred man in Europe,
+if a lady let fall her fan, would certainly take it up and give it her;
+the best-bred man in Europe could do no more.  The difference, however,
+would be considerable; the latter would please by doing it gracefully;
+the former would be laughed at for doing it awkwardly.  I repeat it, and
+repeat it again, and shall never cease repeating it to you: air, manners,
+graces, style, elegance, and all those ornaments, must now be the only
+objects of your attention; it is now, or never, that you must acquire
+them.  Postpone, therefore, all other considerations; make them now your
+serious study; you have not one moment to lose.  The solid and the
+ornamental united, are undoubtedly best; but were I reduced to make an
+option, I should without hesitation choose the latter.
+
+I hope you assiduously frequent Marcell--[At that time the most
+celebrated dancing-master at Paris.]--and carry graces from him; nobody
+had more to spare than he had formerly.  Have you learned to carve? for
+it is ridiculous not to carve well.  A man who tells you gravely that he
+cannot carve, may as well tell you that he cannot blow his nose: it is
+both as necessary, and as easy.
+
+Make my compliments to Lord Huntingdon, whom I love and honor extremely,
+as I dare say you do; I will write to him soon, though I believe he has
+hardly time to read a letter; and my letters to those I love are, as you
+know by experience, not very short ones: this is one proof of it, and
+this would have been longer, if the paper had been so.  Good night then,
+my dear child.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXII
+
+LONDON, February 28, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  This epigram in Martial--
+
+              "Non amo te, Sabidi, nec possum dicere quare;
+               Hoc tantum possum dicere, non amo te"-----
+
+               [OR: "I do not love thee Dr. Fell
+               The reason why I cannot tell.
+               But this I know and know full well:
+               I do not love thee Dr. Fell."   D.W.]
+
+has puzzled a great many people, who cannot conceive how it is possible
+not to love anybody, and yet not to know the reason why.  I think I
+conceive Martial's meaning very clearly, though the nature of epigram,
+which is to be short, would not allow him to explain it more fully; and I
+take it to be this: O Sabidis, you are a very worthy deserving man; you
+have a thousand good qualities, you have a great deal of learning; I
+esteem, I respect, but for the soul of me I cannot love you, though I
+cannot particularly say why.  You are not aimable: you have not those
+engaging manners, those pleasing attentions, those graces, and that
+address, which are absolutely necessary to please, though impossible to
+define.  I cannot say it is this or that particular thing that hinders me
+from loving you; it is the whole together; and upon the whole you are not
+agreeable.
+
+How often have I, in the course of my life, found myself in this
+situation, with regard to many of my acquaintance, whom I have honored
+and respected, without being able to love.  I did not know why, because,
+when one is young, one does not take the trouble, nor allow one's self
+the time, to analyze one's sentiments and to trace them up to their
+source.  But subsequent observation and reflection have taught me why.
+There is a man, whose moral character, deep learning, and superior parts,
+I acknowledge, admire, and respect; but whom it is so impossible for me
+to love, that I am almost in a fever whenever I am in his company.  His
+figure (without being deformed) seems made to disgrace or ridicule the
+common structure of the human body.  His legs and arms are never in the
+position which, according to the situation of his body, they ought to be
+in, but constantly employed in committing acts of hostility upon the
+Graces.  He throws anywhere, but down his throat, whatever he means to
+drink, and only mangles what he means to carve.  Inattentive to all the
+regards of social life, he mistimes or misplaces everything.  He disputes
+with heat, and indiscriminately, mindless of the rank, character, and
+situation of those with whom he disputes; absolutely ignorant of the
+several gradations of familiarity or respect, he is exactly the same to
+his superiors, his equals, and his inferiors; and therefore, by a
+necessary consequence, absurd to two of the three.  Is it possible to
+love such a man?  No.  The utmost I can do for him, is to consider him as
+a respectable Hottentot.--[This 'mot' was aimed at Dr.  Johnson in
+retaliation for his famous letter.]
+
+I remember, that when I came from Cambridge, I had acquired, among the
+pedants of that illiberal seminary, a sauciness of literature, a turn to
+satire and contempt, and a strong tendency to argumentation and
+contradiction.  But I had been but a very little while in the world,
+before I found that this would by no means do; and I immediately adopted
+the opposite character; I concealed what learning I had; I applauded
+often, without approving; and I yielded commonly without conviction.
+'Suaviter in modo' was my law and my prophets; and if I pleased (between
+you and me) it was much more owing to that, than to any superior
+knowledge or merit of my own.  Apropos, the word PLEASING puts one always
+in mind of Lady Hervey; pray tell her, that I declare her responsible to
+me for your pleasing; that I consider her as a pleasing Falstaff, who not
+only pleases, herself, but is the cause of pleasing in others; that I
+know she can make anything of anybody; and that, as your governess, if
+she does not make you please, it must be only because she will not, and
+not because she cannot.  I hope you are 'dubois don't on en fait'; and if
+so, she is so good a sculptor, that I am sure she can give you whatever
+form she pleases.  A versatility of manners is as necessary in social, as
+a versatility of parts is in political life.  One must often yield, in
+order to prevail; one must humble one's self, to be exalted; one must,
+like St.  Paul, become all things to all men, to gain some; and, by the
+way, men are taken by the same means, 'mutatis mutandis', that women are
+gained--by gentleness, insinuation, and submission: and these lines of
+Mr. Dryden will hold to a minister as well as to a mistress:
+
+               "The prostrate lover, when he lowest lies,
+               But stoops to conquer, and but kneels to rise."
+
+In the course of the world, the qualifications of the chameleon are often
+necessary; nay, they must be carried a little further, and exerted a
+little sooner; for you should, to a certain degree, take the hue of
+either the man or the woman that you want, and wish to be upon terms
+with.  'A propos', have you yet found out at Paris, any friendly and
+hospitable Madame de Lursay, 'qui veut bien se charger du soin de vous
+eduquer'?  And have you had any occasion of representing to her, 'qu'elle
+faisoit donc des noeuds'?  But I ask your, pardon, Sir, for the
+abruptness of the question, and acknowledge that I am meddling with
+matters that are out of my department.  However, in matters of less
+importance, I desire to be 'de vos secrets le fidele depositaire'.  Trust
+me with the general turn and color of your amusements at Paris.  Is it
+'le fracas du grand monde, comedies, bals, operas, cour,' etc.?  Or is it
+'des petites societes, moins bruyantes, mais pas pour cela moins
+agreables'?  Where are you the most 'etabli'?  Where are you 'le petit
+Stanhope?  Voyez vous encore jour, a quelque arrangement honnete?  Have
+you made many acquaintances among the young Frenchmen who ride at your
+Academy; and who are they?  Send to me this sort of chit-chat in your
+letters, which, by the bye, I wish you would honor me with somewhat
+oftener.  If you frequent any of the myriads of polite Englishmen who
+infest Paris, who are they?  Have you finished with Abbe Nolet, and are
+you 'au fait' of all the properties and effects of air?  Were I inclined
+to quibble, I would say, that the effects of air, at least, are best to
+be learned of Marcel.  If you have quite done with l'Abbes Nolet, ask my
+friend l'Abbe Sallier to recommend to you some meagre philomath, to teach
+you a little geometry and astronomy; not enough to absorb your attention
+and puzzle your intellects, but only enough not to be grossly ignorant of
+either.  I have of late been a sort of 'astronome malgre moi',
+by bringing in last Monday into the House of Lords a bill for reforming
+our present Calendar and taking the New Style.  Upon which occasion I was
+obliged to talk some astronomical jargon, of which I did not understand
+one word, but got it by heart, and spoke it by rote from a master.
+I wished that I had known a little more of it myself; and so much I would
+have you know.  But the great and necessary knowledge of all is, to know,
+yourself and others: this knowledge requires great attention and long
+experience; exert the former, and may you have the latter! Adieu!
+
+P. S.  I have this moment received your letters of the 27th February, and
+the 2d March, N. S.  The seal shall be done as soon as possible.  I am,
+glad that you are employed in Lord Albemarle's bureau; it will teach you,
+at least, the mechanical part of that business, such as folding,
+entering, and docketing letters; for you must not imagine that you are
+let into the 'fin fin' of the correspondence, nor indeed is it fit that
+you should, at, your age.  However, use yourself to secrecy as to the
+letters you either read or write, that in time you may be trusted with
+SECRET, VERY SECRET, SEPARATE, APART, etc.  I am sorry that this business
+interferes with your riding; I hope it is seldom; but I insist upon its
+not interfering with your dancing-master, who is at this time the most
+useful and necessary of all the masters you have or can have.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXIII
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: I mentioned to you, some time ago a sentence which I
+would most earnestly wish you always to retain in your thoughts, and
+observe in your conduct.  It is 'suaviter in modo, fortiter in re'
+[gentleness of manners, with firmness of mind  D.W.].  I do not know any
+one rule so unexceptionably useful and necessary in every part of life.
+I shall therefore take it for my text to-day, and as old men love
+preaching, and I have some right to preach to you, I here present you
+with my sermon upon these words.  To proceed, then, regularly and
+PULPITICALLY, I will first show you, my beloved, the necessary connection
+of the two members of my text 'suaviter in modo: fortiter in re'.  In the
+next place, I shall set forth the advantages and utility resulting from a
+strict observance of the precept contained in my text; and conclude with
+an application of the whole.  The 'suaviter in modo' alone would
+degenerate and sink into a mean, timid complaisance and passiveness, if
+not supported and dignified by the 'fortiter in re', which would also run
+into impetuosity and brutality, if not tempered and softened by the
+'suaviter in modo': however, they are seldom united.
+
+The warm, choleric man, with strong animal spirits, despises the
+'suaviter in modo', and thinks to, carry all before him by the 'fortiter
+in re'.  He may, possibly, by great accident, now and then succeed, when
+he has only weak and timid people to deal with; but his general fate will
+be, to shock offend, be hated, and fail.  On the other hand, the cunning,
+crafty man thinks to gain all his ends by the 'suaviter in modo' only; HE
+BECOMES ALL THINGS TO ALL MEN; he seems to have no opinion of his own,
+and servilely adopts the present opinion of the present person; he
+insinuates himself only into the esteem of fools, but is soon detected,
+and surely despised by everybody else.  The wise man (who differs as much
+from the cunning, as from the choleric man) alone joins the 'suaviter in
+modo' with the 'fortiter in re'.  Now to the advantages arising from the
+strict observance of this precept:
+
+If you are in authority, and have a right to command, your commands
+delivered 'suaviter in modo' will be willingly, cheerfully, and
+consequently well obeyed; whereas, if given only 'fortiter', that is
+brutally, they will rather, as Tacitus says, be interrupted than
+executed.  For my own part, if I bid my footman bring me a glass of wine,
+in a rough insulting manner, I should expect that, in obeying me, he
+would contrive to spill some of it upon me: and I am sure I should
+deserve it.  A cool, steady resolution should show that where you have a
+right to command you will be obeyed; but at the same time, a gentleness
+in the manner of enforcing that obedience should make it a cheerful one,
+and soften as much as possible the mortifying consciousness of
+inferiority.  If you are to ask a favor, or even to solicit your due, you
+must do it 'suaviter in modo', or you will give those who have a mind to
+refuse you, either a pretense to do it, by resenting the manner; but, on
+the other hand, you must, by a steady perseverance and decent
+tenaciousness, show the 'fortiter in re'.  The right motives are seldom
+the true ones of men's actions, especially of kings, ministers, and
+people in high stations; who often give to importunity and fear, what
+they would refuse to justice or to merit.  By the 'suaviter in modo'
+engage their hearts, if you can; at least prevent the pretense of offense
+but take care to show enough of the 'fortiter in re' to extort from their
+love of ease, or their fear, what you might in vain hope for from their
+justice or good-nature.  People in high life are hardened to the wants
+and distresses of mankind, as surgeons are to their bodily pains; they
+see and hear of them all day long, and even of so many simulated ones,
+that they do not know which are real, and which not.  Other sentiments
+are therefore to be applied to, than those of mere justice and humanity;
+their favor must be captivated by the 'suaviter in modo'; their love of
+ease disturbed by unwearied importunity, or their fears wrought upon by a
+decent intimation of implacable, cool resentment; this is the true
+'fortiter in re'.  This precept is the only way I know in the world of
+being loved without being despised, and feared without being hated.  It
+constitutes the dignity of character which every wise man must endeavor
+to establish.
+
+Now to apply what has been said, and so conclude.
+
+If you find that you have a hastiness in your temper, which unguardedly
+breaks out into indiscreet sallies, or rough expressions, to either your
+superiors, your equals, or your inferiors, watch it narrowly, check it
+carefully, and call the 'suaviter in modo' to your assistance: at the
+first impulse of passion, be silent till you can be soft.  Labor even to
+get the command of your countenance so well, that those emotions may not
+be read in it; a most unspeakable advantage in business!  On the other
+hand, let no complaisance, no gentleness of temper, no weak desire of
+pleasing on your part,--no wheedling, coaxing, nor flattery, on other
+people's,--make you recede one jot from any point that reason and
+prudence have bid you pursue; but return to the charge, persist,
+persevere, and you will find most things attainable that are possible.
+A yielding, timid meekness is always abused and insulted by the unjust
+and the unfeeling; but when sustained by the 'fortiter in re', is always
+respected, commonly successful.  In your friendships and connections,
+as well as in your enmities, this rule is particularly useful; let your
+firmness and vigor preserve and invite attachments to you; but, at the
+same time, let your manner hinder the enemies of your friends and
+dependents from becoming yours; let your enemies be disarmed by the
+gentleness of your manner, but let them feel, at the same time, the
+steadiness of your just resentment; for there is a great difference
+between bearing malice, which is always ungenerous, and a resolute self-
+defense, which is always prudent and justifiable.  In negotiations with
+foreign ministers, remember the 'fortiter in re'; give up no point,
+accept of no expedient, till the utmost necessity reduces you to it,
+and even then, dispute the ground inch by inch; but then, while you are
+contending with the minister 'fortiter in re', remember to gain the man
+by the 'suaviter in modo'.  If you engage his heart, you have a fair
+chance for imposing upon his understanding, and determining his will.
+Tell him, in a frank, gallant manner, that your ministerial wrangles do
+not lessen your personal regard for his merit; but that, on the contrary,
+his zeal and ability in the service of his master, increase it; and that,
+of all things, you desire to make a good friend of so good a servant.
+By these means you may, and will very often be a gainer: you never can be
+a loser.  Some people cannot gain upon themselves to be easy and civil to
+those who are either their rivals, competitors, or opposers, though,
+independently of those accidental circumstances, they would like and
+esteem them.  They betray a shyness and an awkwardness in company with
+them, and catch at any little thing to expose them; and so, from
+temporary and only occasional opponents, make them their personal
+enemies.  This is exceedingly weak and detrimental, as indeed is all
+humor in business; which can only be carried on successfully by,
+unadulterated good policy and right reasoning.  In such situations I
+would be more particularly and 'noblement', civil, easy, and frank with
+the man whose designs I traversed: this is commonly called generosity and
+magnanimity, but is, in truth, good sense and policy.  The manner is
+often as important as the matter, sometimes more so; a favor may make an
+enemy, and an injury may make a friend, according to the different manner
+in which they are severally done.  The countenance, the address, the
+words, the enunciation, the Graces, add great efficacy to the 'suaviter
+in modo', and great dignity to the 'fortiter in re', and consequently
+they deserve the utmost attention.
+
+From what has been said, I conclude with this observation, that
+gentleness of manners, with firmness of mind, is a short, but full
+description of human perfection on this side of religious and moral
+duties.  That you may be seriously convinced of this truth, and show it
+in your life and conversation, is the most sincere and ardent wish of,
+Yours.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXIV
+
+LONDON, March 11, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  I received by the last post a letter from Abbe Guasco,
+in which he joins his representations to those of Lord Albemarle, against
+your remaining any longer in your very bad lodgings at the Academy; and,
+as I do not find that any advantage can arise to you from being 'interne'
+in an academy which is full as far from the riding-house and from all
+your other masters, as your lodgings will probably be, I agree to your
+removing to an 'hotel garni'; the Abbe will help you to find one, as I
+desire him by the inclosed, which you will give him.  I must, however,
+annex one condition to your going into private lodgings, which is an
+absolute exclusion of English breakfasts and suppers at them; the former
+consume the whole morning, and the latter employ the evenings very ill,
+in senseless toasting a l'Angloise in their infernal claret.  You will be
+sure to go to the riding-house as often as possible, that is, whenever
+your new business at Lord Albemarle's does not hinder you.  But, at all
+events, I insist upon your never missing Marcel, who is at present of
+more consequence to you than all the bureaux in Europe; for this is the
+time for you to acquire 'tous ces petits riens', which, though in an
+arithmetical account, added to one another 'ad infinitum', they would
+amount to nothing, in the account of the world amount to a great and
+important sum.  'Les agremens et les graces', without which you will
+never be anything, are absolutely made up of all those 'riens', which are
+more easily felt than described.  By the way, you may take your lodgings
+for one whole year certain, by which means you may get them much cheaper;
+for though I intend to see you here in less than a year, it will be but
+for a little time, and you will return to Paris again, where I intend you
+shall stay till the end of April twelvemonth, 1752, at which time,
+provided you have got all 'la politesse, les manieres, les attentions, et
+les graces du beau monde', I shall place you in some business suitable to
+your destination.
+
+I have received, at last, your present of the cartoon, from Dominichino,
+by Planchet.  It is very finely done, it is pity that he did not take in
+all the figures of the original.  I will hang it up, where it shall be
+your own again some time or other.
+
+Mr. Harte is returned in perfect health from Cornwall, and has taken
+possession of his prebendal house at Windsor, which is a very pretty one.
+As I dare say you will always feel, I hope you will always express, the
+strongest sentiments of gratitude and friendship for him.  Write to him
+frequently, and attend to the letters you receive from him.  He shall be
+with us at Blackheath, alias BABIOLE, all the time that I propose you
+shall be there, which I believe will be the month of August next.
+
+Having thus mentioned to you the probable time of our meeting, I will
+prepare you a little for it.  Hatred; jealousy, or envy, make, most
+people attentive to discover the least defects of those they do not love;
+they rejoice at every new discovery they make of that kind, and take care
+to publish it.  I thank God, I do not know what those three ungenerous
+passions are, having never felt them in my own breast; but love has just
+the same effect upon me, except that I conceal, instead of publishing,
+the defeats which my attention makes me discover in those I love.  I
+curiously pry into them; I analyze them; and, wishing either to find them
+perfect, or to make them so, nothing escapes me, and I soon discover
+every the least gradation toward or from that perfection.  You must
+therefore expect the most critical 'examen' that ever anybody underwent.
+I shall discover your least, as well as your greatest defects, and I
+shall very freely tell you of them, 'Non quod odio habeam sed quod amem'.
+But I shall tell them you 'tete-a-tete', and as MICIO not as DEMEA; and I
+will tell them to nobody else.  I think it but fair to inform you
+beforehand, where I suspect that my criticisms are likely to fall; and
+that is more upon the outward, than upon the inward man; I neither
+suspect your heart nor your head; but to be plain with you, I have a
+strange distrust of your air, your address, your manners, your
+'tournure', and particularly of your ENUNCIATION and elegance of style.
+These will be all put to the trial; for while you are with me, you must
+do the honors of my house and table; the least inaccuracy or inelegance
+will not escape me; as you will find by a LOOK at the time, and by a
+remonstrance afterward when we are alone.  You will see a great deal of
+company of all sorts at BABIOLE, and particularly foreigners.  Make,
+therefore, in the meantime, all these exterior and ornamental
+qualifications your peculiar care, and disappoint all my imaginary
+schemes of criticism.  Some authors have criticised their own works
+first, in hopes of hindering others from doing it afterward: but then
+they do it themselves with so much tenderness and partiality for their
+own production, that not only the production itself, but the preventive
+criticism is criticised.  I am not one of those authors; but, on the
+contrary, my severity increases with my fondness for my work; and if you
+will but effectually correct all the faults I shall find, I will insure
+you from all subsequent criticisms from other quarters.
+
+Are you got a little into the interior, into the constitution of things
+at Paris?  Have you seen what you have seen thoroughly?  For, by the way,
+few people see what they see, or hear what they hear.  For example, if
+you go to les Invalides, do you content yourself with seeing the
+building, the hall where three or four hundred cripples dine, and the
+galleries where they lie? or do you inform yourself of the numbers, the
+conditions of their admission, their allowance, the value and nature of
+the fund by which the whole is supported?  This latter I call seeing, the
+former is only starting.  Many people take the opportunity of 'les
+vacances', to go and see the, empty rooms where the several chambers of
+the parliament did sit; which rooms are exceedingly like all other large
+rooms; when you go there, let it be when they are full; see and hear what
+is doing in them; learn their respective constitutions, jurisdictions,
+objects, and methods of proceeding; hear some causes tried in every one
+of the different chambers; 'Approfondissez les choses'.
+
+I am glad to hear that you are so well at Marquis de St. Germain's,
+--[At that time Ambassador from the King of Sardinia at the Court of
+France.]--of whom I hear a very good character.  How are you with the
+other foreign ministers at Paris?  Do you frequent the Dutch Ambassador
+or Ambassadress?  Have you any footing at the Nuncio's, or at the
+Imperial and Spanish ambassadors?  It is useful.  Be more particular in
+your letters to me, as to your manner of passing your time, and the
+company you keep.  Where do you dine and sup oftenest? whose house is
+most your home?  Adieu.  'Les Graces, les Graces'.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXV
+
+LONDON, March 18, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: I acquainted you in a former letter, that I had brought a
+bill into the House of Lords for correcting and reforming our present
+calendar, which is the Julian, and for adopting the Gregorian.  I will
+now give you a more particular account of that affair; from which
+reflections will naturally occur to you that I hope may be useful, and
+which I fear you have not made.  It was notorious, that the Julian
+calendar was erroneous, and had overcharged the solar year with eleven
+days.  Pope Gregory the Thirteenth corrected this error; his reformed
+calendar was immediately received by all the Catholic powers of Europe,
+and afterward adopted by all the Protestant ones, except Russia, Sweden,
+and England.  It was not, in my opinion, very honorable for England to
+remain, in a gross and avowed error, especially in such company; the
+inconveniency of it was likewise felt by all those who had foreign
+correspondences, whether political or mercantile.  I determined,
+therefore, to attempt the reformation; I consulted the best lawyers and
+the most skillful astronomers, and we cooked up a bill for that purpose.
+But then my difficulty began: I was to bring in this bill, which was
+necessarily composed of law jargon and astronomical calculations, to both
+which I am an utter stranger.  However, it was absolutely necessary to
+make the House of Lords think that I knew something of the matter; and
+also to make them believe that they knew something of it themselves,
+which they do not.  For my own part, I could just as soon have talked
+Celtic or Sclavonian to them as astronomy, and they would have understood
+me full as well: so I resolved to do better than speak to the purpose,
+and to please instead of informing them.  I gave them, therefore, only an
+historical account of calendars, from the Egyptian down to the Gregorian,
+amusing them now and then with little episodes; but I was particularly
+attentive to the choice of my words, to the harmony and roundness of my
+periods, to my elocution, to my action.  This succeeded, and ever will
+succeed; they thought I informed, because I pleased them; and many of
+them said that I had made the whole very clear to them; when, God knows,
+I had not even attempted it.  Lord Macclesfield, who had the greatest
+share in forming the bill, and who is one of the greatest mathematicians
+and astronomers in Europe, spoke afterward with infinite knowledge, and
+all the clearness that so intricate a matter would admit of: but as his
+words, his periods, and his utterance, were not near so good as mine,
+the preference was most unanimously, though most unjustly, given to me.
+This will ever be the case; every numerous assembly is MOB, let the
+individuals who compose it be what they will.  Mere reason and good sense
+is never to be talked to a mob; their passions, their sentiments, their
+senses, and their seeming interests, are alone to be applied to.
+Understanding they have collectively none, but they have ears and eyes,
+which must be flattered and seduced; and this can only be done by
+eloquence, tuneful periods, graceful action, and all the various parts of
+oratory.
+
+When you come into the House of Commons, if you imagine that speaking
+plain and unadorned sense and reason will do your business, you will find
+yourself most grossly mistaken.  As a speaker, you will be ranked only
+according to your eloquence, and by no means according to your matter;
+everybody knows the matter almost alike, but few can adorn it.  I was
+early convinced of the importance and powers of eloquence; and from that
+moment I applied myself to it.  I resolved not to utter one word, even in
+common conversation, that should not be the most expressive and the most
+elegant that the language could supply me with for that purpose; by which
+means I have acquired such a certain degree of habitual eloquence, that I
+must now really take some pains, if, I would express myself very
+inelegantly.  I want to inculcate this known truth into you, which, you
+seem by no means to be convinced of yet, that ornaments are at present
+your only objects.  Your sole business now is to shine, not to weigh.
+Weight without lustre is lead.  You had better talk trifles elegantly to
+the most trifling woman, than coarse in elegant sense to the most solid
+man; you had better, return a dropped fan genteelly, than give a thousand
+pounds awkwardly; and you had better refuse a favor gracefully, than to
+grant it clumsily.  Manner is all, in everything: it is by manner only
+that you can please, and consequently rise.  All your Greek will never
+advance you from secretary to envoy, or from envoy to ambassador; but
+your address, your manner, your air, if good, very probably may.  Marcel
+can be of much more use to you than Aristotle. I would, upon my word,
+much rather that you had Lord Bolingbroke's style and eloquence in
+speaking and writing, than all the learning of the Academy of Sciences,
+the Royal Society, and the two Universities united.
+
+Having mentioned Lord Bolingbroke's style, which is, undoubtedly,
+infinitely superior to anybody's, I would have you read his works, which
+you have, over and-over again, with particular attention to his style.
+Transcribe, imitate, emulate it, if possible: that would be of real use
+to you in the House of Commons, in negotiations, in conversation; with
+that, you may justly hope to please, to persuade, to seduce, to impose;
+and you will fail in those articles, in proportion as you fall short of
+it.  Upon the whole, lay aside, during your year's residence at Paris,
+all thoughts of all that dull fellows call solid, and exert your utmost
+care to acquire what people of fashion call shining.  'Prenez l'eclat et
+le brillant d'un galant homme'.
+
+Among the commonly called little things, to which you, do not attend,
+your handwriting is one, which is indeed shamefully bad and illiberal;
+it is neither the hand of a man of business, nor of a gentleman, but of
+a truant school-boy; as soon, therefore, as you have done with Abbe
+Nolet, pray get an excellent writing-master (since you think that you
+cannot teach yourself to write what hand you please), and let him teach
+you to write a genteel, legible, liberal hand, and quick; not the hand of
+a procureur or a writing-master, but that sort of hand in which the first
+'Commis' in foreign bureaus commonly write; for I tell you truly, that
+were I Lord Albemarle, nothing should remain in my bureau written in your
+present hand.  From hand to arms the transition is natural; is the
+carriage and motion of your arms so too?  The motion of the arms is the
+most material part of a man's air, especially in dancing; the feet are
+not near so material.  If a man dances well from the waist upward, wears
+his hat well, and moves his head properly, he dances well.  Do the women
+say that you dress well? for that is necessary too for a young fellow.
+Have you 'un gout vif', or a passion for anybody?  I do not ask for whom:
+an Iphigenia would both give you the desire, and teach you the means to
+please.
+
+In a fortnight or three weeks you will see Sir Charles Hotham at Paris,
+in his way to Toulouse, where he is to stay a year or two.  Pray be very
+civil to him, but do not carry him into company, except presenting him to
+Lord Albemarle; for, as he is not to stay at Paris above a week, we do
+not desire that he should taste of that dissipation: you may show him a
+play and an opera.  Adieu, my dear child.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXVI
+
+LONDON, March 25, O. S. 1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  What a happy period of your life is this?  Pleasure is
+now, and ought to be, your business.  While you were younger, dry rules,
+and unconnected words, were the unpleasant objects of your labors.  When
+you grow older, the anxiety, the vexations, the disappointments
+inseparable from public business, will require the greatest share of your
+time and attention; your pleasures may, indeed, conduce to your business,
+and your business will quicken your pleasures; but still your time must,
+at least, be divided: whereas now it is wholly your own, and cannot be so
+well employed as in the pleasures of a gentleman.  The world is now the
+only book you want, and almost the only one you ought to read: that
+necessary book can only be read in company, in public places, at meals,
+and in 'ruelles'.  You must be in the pleasures, in order to learn the
+manners of good company. In premeditated, or in formal business, people
+conceal, or at least endeavor to conceal, their characters: whereas
+pleasures discover them, and the heart breaks out through the guard of
+the understanding.  Those are often propitious moments for skillful
+negotiators to improve.  In your destination particularly, the able
+conduct of pleasures is of infinite use; to keep a good table, and to do
+the honors of it gracefully, and 'sur le ton de la bonne compagnie',
+is absolutely necessary for a foreign minister.  There is a certain light
+table chit-chat, useful to keep off improper and too serious subjects,
+which is only to be learned in the pleasures of good company.  In truth
+it may be trifling; but, trifling as it is, a man of parts and experience
+of the world will give an agreeable turn to it.  'L'art de badiner
+agreablement' is by no means to be despised.
+
+An engaging address, and turn to gallantry, is often of very great
+service to foreign ministers.  Women have, directly or indirectly; a good
+deal to say in most courts.  The late Lord Strafford governed, for a
+considerable time, the Court of Berlin and made his own fortune, by being
+well with Madame de Wartenberg, the first King of Prussia's mistress.
+I could name many other instances of that kind.  That sort of agreeable
+'caquet de femmes', the necessary fore-runners of closer conferences, is
+only to be got by frequenting women of the first fashion, 'et, qui
+donnent le ton'.  Let every other book then give way to this great and
+necessary book, the world, of which there are so many various readings,
+that it requires a great deal of time and attention to under stand it
+well: contrary to all other books, you must not stay home, but go abroad
+to read it; and when you seek it abroad, you will not find it in
+booksellers' shops and stalls, but in courts, in hotels, at
+entertainments, balls, assemblies, spectacles, etc.  Put yourself upon
+the footing of an easy, domestic, but polite familiarity and intimacy in
+the several French houses to which you have been introduced: Cultivate
+them, frequent them, and show a desire of becoming 'enfant de la maison'.
+Get acquainted as much as you can with 'les gens de cour'; and observe,
+carefully, how politely they can differ, and how civilly they can hate;
+how easy and idle they can seem in the multiplicity of their business;
+and how they can lay hold of the proper moments to carry it on, in the
+midst of their pleasures.  Courts, alone, teach versatility and
+politeness; for there is no living there without them.  Lord Albermarle
+has, I hear, and am very glad of it, put you into the hands of Messieurs
+de Bissy.  Profit of that, and beg of them to let you attend them in all
+the companies of Versailles and Paris.  One of them, at least, will
+naturally carry you to Madame de la Valiores, unless he is discarded by
+this time, and Gelliot--[A famous opera-singer at Paris.]--retaken.
+Tell them frankly, 'que vous cherchez a vous former, que vous etes en
+mains de maitres, s'ils veulent bien s'en donner la peine'.  Your
+profession has this agreeable peculiarity in it, which is, that it is
+connected with, and promoted by pleasures; and it is the only one in
+which a thorough knowledge of the world, polite manners, and an engaging
+address, are absolutely necessary.  If a lawyer knows his law, a parson
+his divinity, and a financier his calculations, each may make a figure
+and a fortune in his profession, without great knowledge of the world,
+and without the manners of gentlemen.  But your profession throws you
+into all the intrigues and cabals, as well as pleasures, of courts: in
+those windings and labyrinths, a knowledge of the world, a discernment of
+characters, a suppleness and versatility of mind, and an elegance of
+manners, must be your clue; you must know how to soothe and lull the
+monsters that guard, and how to address and gain the fair that keep,
+the golden fleece.  These are the arts and the accomplishments absolutely
+necessary for a foreign minister; in which it must be owned, to our
+shame, that most other nations outdo the English; and, 'caeteris
+paribus', a French minister will get the better of an English one at any
+third court in Europe.  The French have something more 'liant', more
+insinuating and engaging in their manner, than we have.  An English
+minister shall have resided seven years at a court, without having made
+any one personal connection there, or without being intimate and domestic
+in any one house.  He is always the English minister, and never
+naturalized.  He receives his orders, demands an audience, writes an
+account of it to his Court, and his business is done.  A French minister,
+on the contrary, has not been six weeks at a court without having, by a
+thousand little attentions, insinuated himself into some degree of favor
+with the Prince, his wife, his mistress, his favorite, and his minister.
+He has established himself upon a familiar and domestic footing in a
+dozen of the best houses of the place, where he has accustomed the people
+to be not only easy, but unguarded, before him; he makes himself at home
+there, and they think him so.  By these means he knows the interior of
+those courts, and can almost write prophecies to his own, from the
+knowledge he has of the characters, the humors, the abilities, or the
+weaknesses of the actors.  The Cardinal d'Ossat was looked upon at Rome
+as an Italian, and not as a French cardinal; and Monsieur d'Avaux,
+wherever he went, was never considered as a foreign minister, but as a
+native, and a personal friend.  Mere plain truth, sense, and knowledge,
+will by no means do alone in courts; art and ornaments must come to their
+assistance.  Humors must be flattered; the 'mollia tempora' must be
+studied and known: confidence acquired by seeming frankness, and profited
+of by silent skill.  And, above all; you must gain and engage the heart,
+to betray the understanding to you.  'Ha tibi erunt artes'.
+
+The death of the Prince of Wales, who was more beloved for his affability
+and good-nature than esteemed for his steadiness and conduct, has given
+concern to many, and apprehensions to all.  The great difference of the
+ages of the King and Prince George presents the prospect of a minority;
+a disagreeable prospect for any nation!  But it is to be hoped, and is
+most probable, that the King, who is now perfectly recovered of his late
+indisposition, may live to see his grandson of age.  He is, seriously, a
+most hopeful boy: gentle and good-natured, with good sound sense.  This
+event has made all sorts of people here historians, as well as
+politicians.  Our histories are rummaged for all the particular
+circumstances of the six minorities we have had since the Conquest, viz,
+those of Henry III., Edward III., Richard II., Henry VI., Edward V., and
+Edward VI.; and the reasonings, the speculations, the conjectures, and
+the predictions, you will easily imagine, must be innumerable and
+endless, in this nation, where every porter is a consummate politician.
+Dr. Swift says, very humorously, that "Every man knows that he
+understands religion and politics, though he never learned them; but that
+many people are conscious that they do not understand many other
+sciences, from having never learned them."  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXVII
+
+LONDON, April 7, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  Here you have, altogether, the pocketbooks, the
+compasses, and the patterns.  When your three Graces have made their
+option, you need only send me, in a letter small pieces of the three
+mohairs they fix upon.  If I can find no way of sending them safely and
+directly to Paris, I will contrive to have them left with Madame Morel,
+at Calais, who, being Madame Monconseil's agent there, may find means of
+furthering them to your three ladies, who all belong to your friend
+Madame Monconseil.  Two of the three, I am told, are handsome; Madame
+Polignac, I can swear, is not so; but, however, as the world goes, two
+out of three is a very good composition.
+
+You will also find in the packet a compass ring set round with little
+diamonds, which I advise you to make a present of to Abbe Guasco, who has
+been useful to you, and will continue to be so; as it is a mere bauble,
+you must add to the value of it by your manner of giving it him.  Show it
+him first, and, when he commends it, as probably he will, tell him that
+it is at his service, 'et que comme il est toujours par vole et par
+chemins, il est absolument necessaire qu'il ale une boussole'.  All those
+little gallantries depend entirely upon the manner of doing them; as, in
+truth, what does not?  The greatest favors may be done so awkwardly and
+bunglingly as to offend; and disagreeable things may be done so agreeably
+as almost to oblige.  Endeavor to acquire this great secret; it exists,
+it is to be found, and is worth a great deal more than the grand secret
+of the alchemists would be if it were, as it is not, to be found.  This
+is only to be learned in courts, where clashing views, jarring opinions,
+and cordial hatreds, are softened and kept within decent bounds by
+politeness and manners.  Frequent, observe, and learn courts.  Are you
+free of that of St. Cloud?  Are you often at Versailles?  Insinuate and
+wriggle yourself into favor at those places.  L'Abbe de la Ville, my old
+friend, will help you at the latter; your three ladies may establish you
+in the former.  The good-breeding 'de la ville et de la cour' [of the
+city and of the court] are different; but without deciding which is
+intrinsically the best, that of the court is, without doubt, the most
+necessary for you, who are to live, to grow, and to rise in courts.  In
+two years' time, which will be as soon as you are fit for it, I hope to
+be able to plant you in the soil of a YOUNG COURT here: where, if you
+have all the address, the suppleness and versatility of a good courtier,
+you will have a great chance of thriving and flourishing.  Young favor is
+easily acquired if the proper means are employed; and, when acquired, it
+is warm, if not durable; and the warm moments must be snatched and
+improved.  'Quitte pour ce qui en pent arriver apres'.  Do not mention
+this view of mine for you to any one mortal; but learn to keep your own
+secrets, which, by the way, very few people can do.
+
+If your course of experimental philosophy with Abbe Nolot is over, I
+would have you apply to Abbe Sallier, for a master to give you a general
+notion of astronomy and geometry; of both of which you may know as much,
+as I desire you should, in six months' time.  I only desire that you
+should have a clear notion of the present planetary system, and the
+history of all the former systems.  Fontenelle's 'Pluralites des Mondes'
+will almost teach you all you need know upon that subject.  As for
+geometry, the seven first books of Euclid will be a sufficient portion of
+it for you.  It is right to have a general notion of those abstruse
+sciences, so as not to appear quite ignorant of them, when they happen,
+as sometimes they do, to be the topics of conversation; but a deep
+knowledge of them requires too much time, and engrosses the mind too
+much.  I repeat it again and again to you, Let the great book of the
+world be your principal study.  'Nocturna versate manu, versate diurna';
+which may be rendered thus in English: Turn Over MEN BY DAY, AND WOMEN BY
+NIGHT.  I mean only the best editions.
+
+Whatever may be said at Paris of my speech upon the bill for the
+reformation of the present calendar, or whatever applause it may have met
+with here, the whole, I can assure you, is owing to the words and to the
+delivery, but by no means to the matter; which, as I told you in a former
+letter, I was not master of.  I mention this again, to show you the
+importance of well-chosen words, harmonious periods, and good delivery;
+for, between you and me, Lord Macclefield's speech was, in truth, worth a
+thousand of mine.  It will soon be printed, and I will send it you.  It
+is very instructive.  You say, that you wish to speak but half as well as
+I did; you may easily speak full as well as ever I did, if you will but
+give the same attention to the same objects that I did at your age, and
+for many years afterward; I mean correctness, purity, and elegance of
+style, harmony of periods, and gracefulness of delivery.  Read over and
+over again the third book of 'Cicero de Oratore', in which he
+particularly treats of the ornamental parts of oratory; they are indeed
+properly oratory, for all the rest depends only upon common sense, and
+some knowledge of the subject you speak upon.  But if you would please,
+persuade, and prevail in speaking, it must be by the ornamental parts of
+oratory.  Make them therefore habitual to you; and resolve never to say
+the most common things, even to your footman, but in the best words you
+can find, and with the best utterance.  This, with 'les manieres, la
+tournure, et les usages du beau monde', are the only two things you want;
+fortunately, they are both in your power; may you have them both!  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXVIII
+
+LONDON, April 15, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  What success with the graces, and in the
+accomplishments, elegancies, and all those little nothings so
+indispensably necessary to constitute an amiable man?  Do you take them,
+do you make a progress in them?  The great secret is the art of pleasing;
+and that art is to be attained by every man who has a good fund of common
+sense.  If you are pleased with any person, examine why; do as he does;
+and you will charm others by the same things which please you in him.
+To be liked by women, you must be esteemed by men; and to please men, you
+must be agreeable to women.  Vanity is unquestionably the ruling passion
+in women; and it is much flattered by the attentions of a man who is
+generally esteemed by men; when his merit has received the stamp of their
+approbation, women make it current, that is to say, put him in fashion.
+On the other hand, if a man has not received the last polish from women,
+he may be estimable among men, but will never be amiable.  The
+concurrence of the two sexes is as necessary to the perfection of our
+being, as to the formation of it.  Go among women with the good qualities
+of your sex, and you will acquire from them the softness and the graces
+of theirs.  Men will then add affection to the esteem which they before
+had for you. Women are the only refiners of the merit of men; it is true,
+they cannot add weight, but they polish and give lustre to it.  'A
+propos', I am assured, that Madame de Blot, although she has no great
+regularity of features, is, notwithstanding, excessively pretty; and
+that, for all that, she has as yet been scrupulously constant to her
+husband, though she has now been married above a year.  Surely she does
+not reflect, that woman wants polishing.  I would have you polish one
+another reciprocally.  Force, assiduities, attentions, tender looks, and
+passionate declarations, on your side will produce some irresolute
+wishes, at least, on hers; and when even the slightest wishes arise, the
+rest will soon follow.
+
+As I take you to be the greatest 'juris peritus' and politician of the
+whole Germanic body, I suppose you will have read the King of Prussia's
+letter to the Elector of Mayence, upon the election of a King of the
+Romans; and on the other side, a memorial entitled, IMPARTIAL
+REPRESENTATION OF WHAT IS JUST WITH REGARD TO THE ELECTION OF A KING
+OF
+THE ROMANS, etc.  The first is extremely well written, but not grounded
+upon the laws and customs of the empire.  The second is very ill written
+(at least in French), but well grounded.  I fancy the author is some
+German, who has taken into his head that he understands French.  I am,
+however, persuaded that the elegance and delicacy of the King of
+Prussia's letter will prevail with two-thirds of the public, in spite of
+the solidity and truth contained in the other piece.  Such is the force
+of an elegant and delicate style!
+
+I wish you would be so good as to give me a more particular and
+circumstantial account of the method of passing your time at Paris.
+For instance, where it is that you dine every Friday, in company with
+that amiable and respectable old man, Fontenelle?  Which is the house
+where you think yourself at home?  For one always has such a one, where
+one is better established, and more at ease than anywhere else.  Who are
+the young Frenchmen with whom you are most intimately connected?  Do you
+frequent the Dutch Ambassador's.  Have you penetrated yet into Count
+Caunitz's house?  Has Monsieur de Pignatelli the honor of being one of
+your humble servants?  And has the Pope's nuncio included you in the
+jubilee?  Tell me also freely how you are with Lord Huntingdon: Do you
+see him often?  Do you connect yourself with him?  Answer all these
+questions circumstantially in your first letter.
+
+I am told that Du Clos's book is not in vogue at Paris, and that it is
+violently criticised: I suppose that is because one understands it; and
+being intelligible is now no longer the fashion.  I have a very great
+respect for fashion, but a much greater for this book; which is, all at
+once, true, solid, and bright.  It contains even epigrams; what can one
+wish for more?
+
+Mr.------ will, I suppose, have left Paris by this time for his residence
+at Toulouse.  I hope he will acquire manners there; I am sure he wants
+them.  He is awkward, he is silent, and has nothing agreeable in his
+address,--most necessary qualifications to distinguish one's self in
+business, as well as in the POLITE WORLD!  In truth, these two things are
+so connected, that a man cannot make a figure in business, who is not
+qualified to shine in the great world; and to succeed perfectly in either
+the one or the other, one must be in 'utrumque paratus'.  May you be
+that, my dear friend! and so we wish you a good night.
+
+P. S.  Lord and Lady Blessington, with their son Lord Mountjoy, will be
+at Paris next week, in their way to the south of France; I send you a
+little packet of books by them.  Pray go wait upon them, as soon as you
+hear of their arrival, and show them all the attentions you can.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXXXIX
+
+LONDON, April 22, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: I apply to you now, as to the greatest virtuoso of this,
+or perhaps any other age; one whose superior judgment and distinguishing
+eye hindered the King of Poland from buying a bad picture at Venice, and
+whose decisions in the realms of 'virtu' are final, and without appeal.
+Now to the point.  I have had a catalogue sent me, 'd'une Trente a
+l'aimable de Tableaux des plus Grands Maitres, appartenans au Sieur
+Araignon Aperen, valet de chambre de la Reine, sur le quai de la
+Megisserie, au coin de Arche Marion'.  There I observe two large pictures
+of Titian, as described in the inclosed page of the catalogue, No. 18,
+which I should be glad to purchase upon two conditions: the first is,
+that they be undoubted originals of Titian, in good preservation; and the
+other that they come cheap.  To ascertain the first (but without
+disparaging your skill), I wish you would get some undoubted connoisseurs
+to examine them carefully: and if, upon such critical examination, they
+should be unanimously allowed to be undisputed originals of Titian, and
+well preserved, then comes the second point, the price: I will not go
+above two hundred pounds sterling for the two together; but as much less
+as you can get them for.  I acknowledge that two hundred pounds seems to
+be a very small sum for two undoubted Titians of that size; but, on the
+other hand, as large Italian pictures are now out of fashion at Paris,
+where fashion decides of everything, and as these pictures are too large
+for common rooms, they may possibly come within the price above limited.
+I leave the whole of this transaction (the price excepted, which I will
+not exceed) to your consummate skill and prudence, with proper advice
+joined to them.  Should you happen to buy them for that price, carry them
+to your own lodgings, and get a frame made to the second, which I observe
+has none, exactly the same with the other frame, and have the old one new
+gilt; and then get them carefully packed up, and sent me by Rouen.
+
+I hear much of your conversing with 'les beaux esprits' at Paris: I am
+very glad of it; it gives a degree of reputation, especially at Paris;
+and their conversation is generally instructive, though sometimes
+affected.  It must be owned, that the polite conversation of the men and
+women of fashion at Paris, though not always very deep, is much less
+futile and frivolous than ours here.  It turns at least upon some
+subject, something of taste, some point of history, criticism, and even
+philosophy; which, though probably not quite so solid as Mr. Locke's,
+is, however, better, and more becoming rational beings, than our
+frivolous dissertations upon the weather, or upon whist.  Monsieur du
+Clos observes, and I think very justly, 'qu'il y a a present en France
+une fermentation universelle de la raison qui tend a se developper'.
+Whereas, I am sorry to say, that here that fermentation seems to have
+been over some years ago, the spirit evaporated, and only the dregs left.
+Moreover, 'les beaux esprits' at Paris are commonly well-bred, which ours
+very frequently are not; with the former your manners will be formed;
+with the latter, wit must generally be compounded for at the expense of
+manners.  Are you acquainted with Marivaux, who has certainly studied,
+and is well acquainted with the heart; but who refines so much upon its
+'plis et replis', and describes them so affectedly, that he often is
+unintelligible to his readers, and sometimes so, I dare say, to himself?
+Do you know 'Crebillon le fils'?  He is a fine painter and a pleasing
+writer; his characters are admirable and his reflections just.  Frequent
+these people, and be glad, but not proud of frequenting them: never boast
+of it, as a proof of your own merit, nor insult, in a manner, other
+companies by telling them affectedly what you, Montesquieu and Fontenelle
+were talking of the other day; as I have known many people do here, with
+regard to Pope and Swift, who had never been twice in company with
+either; nor carry into other companies the 'ton' of those meetings of
+'beaux esprits'.  Talk literature, taste, philosophy, etc., with them,
+'a la bonne heure'; but then, with the same ease, and more 'enjouement',
+talk 'pom-pons, moires', etc., with Madame de Blot, if she requires it.
+Almost every subject in the world has its proper time and place; in which
+no one is above or below discussion.  The point is, to talk well upon the
+subject you talk upon; and the most trifling, frivolous subjects will
+still give a man of parts an opportunity of showing them.  'L'usage du
+grand monde' can alone teach that.  That was the distinguishing
+characteristic of Alcibiades, and a happy one it was, that he could
+occasionally, and with so much ease, adopt the most different, and even
+the most opposite habits and manners, that each seemed natural to him.
+Prepare yourself for the great world, as the 'athletae' used to do for
+their exercises: oil (if I may use that expression) your mind and your
+manners, to give them the necessary suppleness and flexibility; strength
+alone will not do, as young people are too apt to think.
+
+How do your exercises go on?  Can you manage a pretty vigorous 'sauteur'
+between the pillars?  Are you got into stirrups yet?  'Faites-vous assaut
+aux armes?  But, above all, what does Marcel say of you?  Is he
+satisfied?  Pray be more particular in your accounts of yourself, for
+though I have frequent accounts of you from others, I desire to have your
+own too.  Adieu.  Yours, truly and friendly.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXL
+
+LONDON, May 2, O. S.  1751
+
+DEAR FRIEND:  Two accounts, which I have very lately received of you,
+from two good judges, have put me into great spirits, as they have given
+me reasonable hopes that you will soon acquire all that I believe you
+want: I mean the air, the address; the graces, and the manners of a man
+of fashion.  As these two pictures of you are very unlike that which I
+received, and sent you some months ago, I will name the two painters:
+the first is an old friend and acquaintance of mine, Monsieur d'Aillon.
+His picture is, I hope, like you; for it is a very good one: Monsieur
+Tollot's is still a better, and so advantageous a one, that I will not
+send you a copy of it, for fear of making you too vain.  So far only I
+will tell you, that there was but one BUT in either of their accounts;
+and it was this: I gave d'Aillon the question ordinary and extraordinary,
+upon the important article of manners; and extorted this from him:
+"But, since you will know it, he still wants that last beautiful varnish,
+which raises the colors, and gives brilliancy to the piece.  Be persuaded
+that he will acquire it: he has too much sense not to know its value;
+and if I am not greatly mistaken, more persons than one are now
+endeavoring to give it him.  "Monsieur Tollot says: "In order to be
+exactly all that you wish him, he only wants those little nothings, those
+graces in detail, and that amiable ease, which can only be acquired by
+usage of the great world.  I am assured that he is, in that respect, in
+good hands.  I do not know whether that does not rather imply in fine
+arms."  Without entering into a nice discussion of the last question, I
+congratulate you and myself upon your being so near that point at which I
+so anxiously wish you to arrive.  I am sure that all your attention and
+endeavors will be exerted; and, if exerted, they will succeed.  Mr.
+Tollot says, that you are inclined to be fat, but I hope you will decline
+it as much as you can; not by taking anything corrosive to make you lean,
+but by taking as little as you can of those things that would make you
+fat.  Drink no chocolate; take your coffee without cream: you cannot
+possibly avoid suppers at Paris, unless you avoid company too, which I
+would by no means have you do; but eat as little at supper as you can,
+and make even an allowance for that little at your dinners.  Take
+occasionally a double dose of riding and fencing; and now that summer is
+come, walk a good deal in the Tuileries.  It is a real inconvenience to
+anybody to be fat, and besides it is ungraceful for a young fellow.  'A
+propos', I had like to have forgot to tell you, that I charged Tollot to
+attend particularly to your utterence and diction; two points of the
+utmost importance.  To the first he says: "His enunciation is not bad,
+but it is to be wished that it were still better; and he expresses
+himself with more fire than elegance.  Usage of good company will
+instruct him likewise in that."  These, I allow, are all little things,
+separately; but aggregately, they make a most important and great article
+in the account of a gentleman.  In the House of Commons you can never
+make a figure without elegance of style, and gracefulness of utterance;
+and you can never succeed as a courtier at your own Court, or as a
+minister at any other, without those innumerable 'petite riens dans les
+manieres, et dans les attentions'.  Mr. Yorke is by this time at Paris;
+make your court to him, but not so as to disgust, in the least, Lord
+Albemarle, who may possibly dislike your considering Mr. Yorke as the man
+of business, and him as only 'pour orner la scene'.  Whatever your
+opinion may be upon THAT POINT, take care not to let it appear; but be
+well with them both by showing no public preference to either.
+
+Though I must necessarily fall into repetitions by treating the same
+subject so often, I cannot help recommending to you again the utmost
+attention to your air and address.  Apply yourself now to Marcel's
+lectures, as diligently as you did formerly to Professor Mascow's; desire
+him to teach you every genteel attitude that the human body can be put
+into; let him make you go in and out of his room frequently, and present
+yourself to him, as if he were by turns different persons; such as a
+minister, a lady, a superior, an equal, and inferior, etc.  Learn to seat
+genteelly in different companies; to loll genteelly, and with good
+manners, in those companies where you are authorized to be free, and to
+sit up respectfully where the same freedom is not allowable.  Learn even
+to compose your countenance occasionally to the respectful, the cheerful,
+and the insinuating.  Take particular care that the motions of your hands
+and arms be easy and graceful; for the genteelness of a man consists more
+in them than in anything else, especially in his dancing.  Desire some
+women to tell you of any little awkwardness that they observe in your
+carriage; they are the best judges of those things; and if they are
+satisfied, the men will be so too.  Think now only of the decorations.
+Are you acquainted with Madame Geoffrain, who has a great deal of wit;
+and who, I am informed, receives only the very best company in her house?
+Do you know Madame du Pin, who, I remember, had beauty, and I hear has
+wit and reading?  I could wish you to converse only with those who,
+either from their rank, their merit, or their beauty, require constant
+attention; for a young man can never improve in company where he thinks
+he may neglect himself.  A new bow must be constantly kept bent; when it
+grows older, and has taken the right turn, it may now and then be
+relaxed.
+
+I have this moment paid your draft of L89 75s.; it was signed in a very
+good hand; which proves that a good hand may be written without the
+assistance of magic.  Nothing provokes me much more, than to hear people
+indolently say that they cannot do, what is in everybody's power to do,
+if it be but in their will.  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLI
+
+LONDON, May 6, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  The best authors are always the severest critics of
+their own works; they revise, correct, file, and polish them, till they
+think they have brought them to perfection.  Considering you as my work,
+I do not look upon myself as a bad author, and am therefore a severe
+critic.  I examine narrowly into the least inaccuracy or inelegance, in
+order to correct, not to expose them, and that the work may be perfect at
+last.  You are, I know, exceedingly improved in your air, address, and
+manners, since you have been at Paris; but still there is, I believe,
+room for further improvement before you come to that perfection which I
+have set my heart upon seeing you arrive at; and till that moment I must
+continue filing and polishing.  In a letter that I received by last post,
+from a friend of yours at Paris, there was this paragraph: "I have the
+honor to assure you, without flattery, that Mr. Stanhope succeeds beyond
+what might be expected from a person of his age.  He goes into very good
+company; and that kind of manner, which was at first thought to be too
+decisive and peremptory, is now judged otherwise; because it is
+acknowledged to be the effect of an ingenuous frankness, accompanied by
+politeness, and by a proper deference.  He studies to please, and
+succeeds.  Madame du Puisieux was the other day speaking of him with
+complacency and friendship.  You will be satisfied with him in all
+respects.  "This is extremely well, and I rejoice at it: one little
+circumstance only may, and I hope will, be altered for the better.  Take
+pains to undeceive those who thought that 'petit ton un peu delcide et un
+peu brusque'; as it is not meant so, let it not appear so.  Compose your
+countenance to an air of gentleness and 'douceur', use some expressions
+of diffidence of your own opinion, and deference to other people's; such
+as, "If I might be permitted to say--I should think--Is it not rather so?
+At least I have the greatest reason to be diffident of myself."  Such
+mitigating, engaging words do by no means weaken your argument; but, on
+the contrary, make it more powerful by making it more pleasing.  If it is
+a quick and hasty manner of speaking that people mistake 'pour decide et
+brusque', prevent their mistakes for the future by speaking more
+deliberately, and taking a softer tone of voice; as in this case you are
+free from the guilt, be free from the suspicion, too.  Mankind, as I have
+often told you, are more governed by appearances than by realities; and
+with regard to opinion, one had better be really rough and hard, with the
+appearance of gentleness and softness, than just the reverse.  Few people
+have penetration enough to discover, attention enough to observe, or even
+concern enough to examine beyond the exterior; they take their notions
+from the surface, and go no deeper: they commend, as the gentlest and
+best-natured man in the world, that man who has the most engaging
+exterior manner, though possibly they have been but once in his company.
+An air, a tone of voice, a composure of countenance to mildness and
+softness, which are all easily acquired, do the business: and without
+further examination, and possibly with the contrary qualities, that man
+is reckoned the gentlest, the modestest, and the best-natured man
+alive.  Happy the man, who, with a certain fund of parts and knowledge,
+gets acquainted with the world early enough to make it his bubble, at an
+age when most people are the bubbles of the world! for that is the common
+case of youth.  They grow wiser when it is too late; and, ashamed and
+vexed at having been bubbles so long, too often turn knaves at last.  Do
+not therefore trust to appearances and outside yourself, but pay other
+people with them; because you may be sure that nine in ten of mankind do,
+and ever will trust to them.  This is by no means a criminal or blamable
+simulation, if not used with an ill intention.  I am by no means blamable
+in desiring to have other people's good word, good-will, and affection,
+if I do not mean to abuse them.  Your heart, I know, is good, your sense
+is sound, and your knowledge extensive.  What then remains for you to do?
+Nothing, but to adorn those fundamental qualifications, with such
+engaging and captivating manners, softness, and gentleness, as will
+endear you to those who are able to judge of your real merit, and which
+always stand in the stead of merit with those who are not.  I do not mean
+by this to recommend to you 'le fade doucereux', the insipid softness of
+a gentle fool; no, assert your own opinion, oppose other people's when
+wrong; but let your manner, your air, your terms, and your tone of voice,
+be soft and gentle, and that easily and naturally, not affectedly.  Use
+palliatives when you contradict; such as I MAY BE MISTAKEN, I AM NOT
+SURE, BUT I BELIEVE, I SHOULD RATHER THINK, etc.  Finish any argument or
+dispute with some little good-humored pleasantry, to show that you are
+neither hurt yourself, nor meant to hurt your antagonist; for an
+argument, kept up a good while, often occasions a temporary alienation on
+each side.  Pray observe particularly, in those French people who are
+distinguished by that character, 'cette douceur de moeurs et de
+manieres', which they talk of so much, and value so justly; see in what
+it consists; in mere trifles, and most easy to be acquired, where the
+heart is really good.  Imitate, copy it, till it becomes habitual and
+easy to you.  Without a compliment to you, I take it to be the only thing
+you now want: nothing will sooner give it you than a real passion, or, at
+least, 'un gout vif', for some woman of fashion; and, as I suppose that
+you have either the one or the other by this time, you are consequently
+in the best school.  Besides this, if you were to say to Lady Hervey,
+Madame Monconseil, or such others as you look upon to be your friends, It
+is said that I have a kind of manner which is rather too decisive and too
+peremptory; it is not, however, my intention that it should be so; I
+entreat you to correct, and even publicly to punish me whenever I am
+guilty.  Do not treat me with the least indulgence, but criticise to the
+utmost.  So clear-sighted a judge as you has a right to be severe; and I
+promise you that the criminal will endeavor to correct himself.
+Yesterday I had two of your acquaintances to dine with me, Baron B.  and
+his companion Monsieur S.  I cannot say of the former, 'qu'il est paitri
+de graces'; and I would rather advise him to go and settle quietly at
+home, than to think of improving himself by further travels.  'Ce n'est
+pas le bois don't on en fait'.  His companion is much better, though he
+has a strong 'tocco di tedesco'.  They both spoke well of you, and so far
+I liked them both.  How go you on with the amiable little Blot?  Does she
+listen to your Battering tale?  Are you numbered among the list of her
+admirers?  Is Madame ------ your Madame de Lursay?  Does she sometimes
+knot, and are you her Meilcour?  They say she has softness, sense, and
+engaging manners; in such an apprenticeship much may be learned.--[This
+whole passage, and several others, allude to Crebillon's 'Egaremens du
+Coeur et de l'Esprit', a sentimental novel written about that time, and
+then much in vogue at Paris.]
+
+A woman like her, who has always pleased, and often been pleased, can
+best teach the art of pleasing; that art, without which, 'ogni fatica
+vana'.  Marcel's lectures are no small part of that art: they are the
+engaging forerunner of all other accomplishments.  Dress is also an
+article not to be neglected, and I hope you do not neglect it; it helps
+in the 'premier abord', which is often decisive.  By dress, I mean your
+clothes being well made, fitting you, in the fashion and not above it;
+your hair well done, and a general cleanliness and spruceness in your
+person.  I hope you take infinite care of your teeth; the consequences of
+neglecting the mouth are serious, not only to one's self, but to others.
+In short, my dear child, neglect nothing; a little more will complete the
+whole.  Adieu.  I have not heard from you these three weeks, which I
+think a great while.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLII
+
+LONDON, May 10, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  I received yesterday, at the same time, your letters of
+the 4th and 11th, N. S., and being much more careful of my commissions
+than you are of yours, I do not delay one moment sending you my final
+instructions concerning the pictures.  The man you allow to be a Titian,
+and in good preservation; the woman is an indifferent and a damaged
+picture; but as I want them for furniture for a particular room,
+companions are necessary; and therefore I am willing to take the woman
+for better for worse, upon account of the man; and if she is not too much
+damaged, I can have her tolerably repaired, as many a fine woman is, by a
+skillful hand here; but then I expect that the lady should be, in a
+manner, thrown into the bargain with the man; and, in this state of
+affairs, the woman being worth little or nothing, I will not go above
+fourscore Louis for the two together.  As for the Rembrandt you mention,
+though it is very cheap, if good, I do not care for it.  I love 'la belle
+nature'; Rembrandt paints caricatures.  Now for your own commissions,
+which you seem to have forgotten.  You mention nothing of the patterns
+which you received by Monsieur Tollot, though I told you in a former
+letter, which you must have had before the date of your last, that I
+should stay till I received the patterns pitched upon by your ladies;
+for as to the instructions which you sent me in Madame Monconseil's hand,
+I could find no mohairs in London that exactly answered that description;
+I shall, therefore, wait till you send me (which you may easily do in a
+letter) the patterns chosen by your three graces.
+
+I would, by all means, have you go now and then, for two or three days,
+to Marechal Coigny's, at Orli; it is but a proper civility to that
+family, which has been particularly civil to you; and, moreover, I would
+have you familiarize yourself with, and learn the interior and domestic
+manners of, people of that rank and fashion.  I also desire that you will
+frequent Versailles and St. Cloud, at both of which courts you have been
+received with distinction.  Profit of that distinction, and familiarize
+yourself at both.  Great courts are the seats of true good-breeding; you
+are to live at courts, lose no time in learning them.  Go and stay
+sometimes at Versailles for three or four days, where you will be
+domestic in the best families, by means of your friend Madame de
+Puisieux; and mine, l'Abbe de la Ville.  Go to the King's and the
+Dauphin's levees, and distinguish yourself from the rest of your
+countrymen, who, I dare say, never go there when they can help it.
+Though the young Frenchmen of fashion may not be worth forming intimate
+connections with, they are well worth making acquaintance of; and I do
+not see how you can avoid it, frequenting so many good French houses as
+you do, where, to be sure, many of them come.  Be cautious how you
+contract friendships, but be desirous, and even industrious, to obtain a
+universal acquaintance.  Be easy, and even forward, in making new
+acquaintances; that is the only way of knowing manners and characters in
+general, which is, at present, your great object.  You are 'enfant de
+famille' in three ministers' houses; but I wish you had a footing, at
+least, in thirteen and that, I should think, you might easily bring
+about, by that common chain, which, to a certain degree, connects those
+you do not with those you do know.
+
+For instance, I suppose that neither Lord Albemarle, nor Marquis de St.
+Germain, would make the least difficulty to present you to Comte Caunitz,
+the Nuncio, etc.  'Il faut etre rompu du monde', which can only be done
+by an extensive, various, and almost universal acquaintance.
+
+When you have got your emaciated Philomath, I desire that his triangles,
+rhomboids, etc., may not keep you one moment out of the good company you
+would otherwise be in.  Swallow all your learning in the morning, but
+digest it in company in the evenings.  The reading of ten new characters
+is more your business now, than the reading of twenty old books; showish
+and shining people always get the better of all others, though ever so
+solid.  If you would be a great man in the world when you are old, shine
+and be showish in it while you are young, know everybody, and endeavor to
+please everybody, I mean exteriorly; for fundamentally it is impossible.
+Try to engage the heart of every woman, and the affections of almost
+every man you meet with.  Madame Monconseil assures me that you are most
+surprisingly improved in your air, manners, and address: go on, my dear
+child, and never think that you are come to a sufficient degree of
+perfection; 'Nil actum reputans, si quid superesset agendum'; and in
+those shining parts of the character of a gentleman, there is always
+something remaining to be acquired.  Modes and manners vary in different
+places, and at different times; you must keep pace with them, know them,
+and adopt them, wherever you find them.  The great usage of the world,
+the knowledge of characters, the brillant dun galant homme, is all that
+you now.  want.  Study Marcel and the 'beau monde' with great
+application, but read Homer and Horace only when you have nothing else to
+do.  Pray who is 'la belle Madame de Case', whom I know you frequent?
+I like the epithet given her very well: if she deserves it, she deserves
+your attention too.  A man of fashion should be gallant to a fine woman,
+though he does not make love to her, or may be otherwise engaged.
+On 'lui doit des politesses, on fait l'eloge de ses charmes, et il n'en
+est ni plus ni moins pour cela': it pleases, it flatters; you get their
+good word, and you lose nothing by it.  These 'gentillesses' should be
+accompanied, as indeed everything else should, with an air: 'un air, un
+ton de douceur et de politesse'.  Les graces must be of the party, or it
+will never do; and they are so easily had, that it is astonishing to me
+that everybody has them not; they are sooner gained than any woman of
+common reputation and decency.  Pursue them but with care and attention,
+and you are sure to enjoy them at last: without them, I am sure, you will
+never enjoy anybody else.  You observe, truly, that Mr. ------ is gauche;
+it is to be hoped that will mend with keeping company; and is yet
+pardonable in him, as just come from school.  But reflect what you would
+think of a man, who had been any time in the world, and yet should be so
+awkward.  For God's sake, therefore, now think of nothing but shining,
+and even distinguishing yourself in the most polite courts, by your air,
+your address, your manners, your politeness, your 'douceur', your graces.
+With those advantages (and not without them) take my word for it, you
+will get the better of all rivals, in business as well as in 'ruelles'.
+Adieu.  Send me your patterns, by the next post, and also your
+instructions to Grevenkop about the seal, which you seem to have
+forgotten.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLIII
+
+LONDON, May 16, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: In about three months from this day, we shall probably
+meet.  I look upon that moment as a young woman does upon her bridal
+night; I expect the greatest pleasure, and yet cannot help fearing some
+little mixture of pain.  My reason bids me doubt a little, of what my
+imagination makes me expect.  In some articles I am very sure that my
+most sanguine wishes will not be disappointed; and those are the most
+material ones.  In others, I fear something or other, which I can better
+feel than describe.  However, I will attempt it.  I fear the want of that
+amiable and engaging 'je ne sais quoi', which as some philosophers have,
+unintelligibly enough, said of the soul, is all in all, and all in every
+part; it should shed its influence over every word and action.  I fear
+the want of that air, and first 'abord', which suddenly lays hold of the
+heart, one does not know distinctly how or why.  I fear an inaccuracy,
+or, at least, inelegance of diction, which will wrong, and lower, the
+best and justest matter.  And, lastly, I fear an ungraceful, if not an
+unpleasant utterance, which would disgrace and vilify the whole.  Should
+these fears be at present founded, yet the objects of them are (thank
+God) of such a nature, that you may, if you please, between this and our
+meeting, remove everyone of them.  All these engaging and endearing
+accomplishments are mechanical, and to be acquired by care and
+observation, as easily as turning, or any mechanical trade.  A common
+country fellow, taken from the plow, and enlisted in an old corps, soon
+lays aside his shambling gait, his slouching air, his clumsy and awkward
+motions: and acquires the martial air, the regular motions, and whole
+exercise of the corps, and particularly of his right and left hand man.
+How so?  Not from his parts; which were just the same before as after he
+was enlisted; but either from a commendable ambition of being like, and
+equal to those he is to live with; or else from the fear of being
+punished for not being so.  If then both or either of these motives
+change such a fellow, in about six months' time, to such a degree, as
+that he is not to be known again, how much stronger should both these
+motives be with you, to acquire, in the utmost perfection, the whole
+exercise of the people of fashion, with whom you are to live all your
+life?  Ambition should make you resolve to be at least their equal in
+that exercise, as well as the fear of punishment; which most inevitably
+will attend the want of it.  By that exercise, I mean the air, the
+manners, the graces, and the style of people of fashion.  A friend of
+yours, in a letter I received from him by the last post, after some other
+commendations of you, says, "It is surprising that, thinking with so much
+solidity as he does, and having so true and refined a taste, he should
+express himself with so little elegance and delicacy.  He even totally
+neglects the choice of words and turn of phrases."
+
+This I should not be so much surprised or concerned at, if it related
+only to the English language; which hitherto you have had no opportunity
+of studying, and but few of speaking, at least to those who could correct
+your inaccuracies.  But if you do not express yourself elegantly and
+delicately in French and German, (both which languages I know you possess
+perfectly and speak eternally) it can be only from an unpardonable
+inattention to what you most erroneously think a little object, though,
+in truth, it is one of the most important of your life.  Solidity and
+delicacy of thought must be given us: it cannot be acquired, though it
+may be improved; but elegance and delicacy of expression may be acquired
+by whoever will take the necessary care and pains.  I am sure you love me
+so well; that you would be very sorry when we meet, that I should be
+either disappointed or mortified; and I love you so well, that I assure
+you I should be both, if I should find you want any of those exterior
+accomplishments which are the indispensably necessary steps to that
+figure and fortune, which I so earnestly wish you may one day make in the
+world.
+
+I hope you do not neglect your exercises of riding, fencing, and dancing,
+but particularly the latter: for they all concur to 'degourdir', and to
+give a certain air.  To ride well, is not only a proper and graceful
+accomplishment for a gentleman, but may also save you many a fall
+hereafter; to fence well, may possibly save your life; and to dance well,
+is absolutely necessary in order to sit, stand, and walk well.  To tell
+you the truth, my friend, I have some little suspicion that you now and
+then neglect or omit your exercises, for more serious studies.  But now
+'non est his locus', everything has its time; and this is yours for your
+exercises; for when you return to Paris I only propose your continuing
+your dancing; which you shall two years longer, if you happen to be where
+there is a good dancing-master.  Here I will see you take some lessons
+with your old master Desnoyers, who is our Marcel.
+
+What says Madame du Pin to you?  I am told she is very handsome still;
+I know she was some few years ago.  She has good parts, reading, manners,
+and delicacy: such an arrangement would be both creditable and
+advantageous to you.  She will expect to meet with all the good-breeding
+and delicacy that she brings; and as she is past the glare and 'eclat'
+of youth, may be the more willing to listen to your story, if you tell it
+well.  For an attachment, I should prefer her to 'la petite Blot'; and,
+for a mere gallantry, I should prefer 'la petite Blot' to her; so that
+they are consistent, et 'l'un n'emplche pas l'autre'.  Adieu.  Remember
+'la douceur et les graces'.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLIV
+
+LONDON, May 23, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: I have this moment received your letter of the 25th
+N. S., and being rather something more attentive to my commissions than
+you are to yours, return you this immediate answer to the question you
+ask me about the two pictures: I will not give one livre more than what I
+told you in my last; having no sort of occasion for them, and not knowing
+very well where to put them if I had them.
+
+I wait with impatience for your final orders about the mohairs; the
+mercer persecuting me every day for three pieces which I thought pretty,
+and which I have kept by me eventually, to secure them in case your
+ladies should pitch upon them.
+
+If I durst!  what should hinder you from daring?  One always dares if
+there are hopes of success; and even if there are none, one is no loser
+by daring.  A man of fashion knows how, and when, to dare.  He begins his
+approaches by distant attacks, by assiduities, and by attentions.  If he
+is not immediately and totally repulsed, he continues to advance.  After
+certain steps success is infallible; and none but very silly fellows can
+then either doubt, or not attempt it.  Is it the respectable character of
+Madame de la Valiere which prevents your daring, or are you intimidated
+at the fierce virtue of Madame du Pin?  Does the invincible modesty of
+the handsome Madame Case discourage, more than her beauty invites you?
+Fie, for shame!  Be convinced that the most virtuous woman, far from
+being offended at a declaration of love, is flattered by it, if it is
+made in a polite and agreeable manner.  It is possible that she may not
+be propitious to your vows; that is to say, if she has a liking or a
+passion for another person.  But, at all events, she will not be
+displeased with you for it; so that, as there is no danger, this cannot
+even be called daring.  But if she attends, if she listens, and allows
+you to repeat your declaration, be persuaded that if you do not dare all
+the rest, she will laugh at you.  I advise you to begin rather by Madame
+du Pin, who has still more than beauty enough for such a youngster as
+you.  She has, besides, knowledge of the world, sense, and delicacy.  As
+she is not so extremely young, the choice of her lovers cannot be
+entirely at her option.  I promise you, she will not refuse the tender of
+your most humble services.  Distinguish her, then, by attentions and by
+tender looks.  Take favorable opportunities of whispering that you wish
+esteem and friendship were the only motives of your regard for her; but
+that it derives from sentiments of a much more tender nature: that you
+made not this declaration without pain; but that the concealing your
+passion was a still greater torment.
+
+I am sensible, that in saying this for the first time, you will look
+silly, abashed, and even express yourself very ill.  So much the better;
+for, instead of attributing your confusion to the little usage you have
+of the world, particularly in these sort of subjects, she will think that
+excess of love is the occasion of it.  In such a case, the lover's best
+friend is self-love.  Do not then be afraid; behave gallantly.  Speak
+well, and you will be heard.  If you are not listened to the first time,
+try a second, a third, and a fourth.  If the place is not already taken,
+depend upon it, it may be conquered.
+
+I am very glad you are going to Orli, and from thence to St. Cloud;
+go to both, and to Versailles also, often.  It is that interior domestic
+familiarity with people of fashion, that alone can give you 'l'usage du
+monde, et les manieres aisees'.  It is only with women one loves, or men
+one respects, that the desire of pleasing exerts itself; and without the
+desire of pleasing no man living can please.  Let that desire be the
+spring of all your words and actions.  That happy talent, the art of
+pleasing, which so few do, though almost all might possess, is worth all
+your learning and knowledge put together.  The latter can never raise you
+high without the former; but the former may carry you, as it has carried
+thousands, a great way without the latter.
+
+I am glad that you dance so well, as to be reckoned by Marcel among his
+best scholars; go on, and dance better still.  Dancing well is pleasing
+'pro tanto', and makes a part of that necessary whole, which is composed
+of a thousand parts, many of them of 'les infiniment petits quoi
+qu'infiniment necessaires'.
+
+I shall never have done upon this subject which is indispensably
+necessary toward your making any figure or fortune in the world; both
+which I have set my heart upon, and for both which you now absolutely
+want no one thing but the art of pleasing; and I must not conceal from
+you that you have still a good way to go before you arrive at it.  You
+still want a thousand of those little attentions that imply a desire of
+pleasing: you want a 'douceur' of air and expression that engages: you
+want an elegance and delicacy of expression, necessary to adorn the best
+sense and most solid matter: in short, you still want a great deal of the
+'brillant' and the 'poli'.  Get them at any rate: sacrifice hecatombs of
+books to them: seek for them in company, and renounce your closet till
+you have got them.  I never received the letter you refer to, if ever you
+wrote it.  Adieu, et bon soir, Monseigneur.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLV
+
+GREENWICH, June 6, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: Solicitous and anxious as I have ever been to form your
+heart, your mind, and your manners, and to bring you as near perfection
+as the imperfection of our natures will allow, I have exhausted, in the
+course of our correspondence, all that my own mind could suggest, and
+have borrowed from others whatever I thought could be useful to you; but
+this has necessarily been interruptedly and by snatches.  It is now time,
+and you are of an age to review and to weigh in your own mind all that
+you have heard, and all that you have read, upon these subjects; and to
+form your own character, your conduct, and your manners, for the rest of
+your life; allowing for such improvements as a further knowledge of the
+world will naturally give you.  In this view I would recommend to you to
+read, with the greatest attention, such books as treat particularly of
+those subjects; reflecting seriously upon them, and then comparing the
+speculation with the practice.
+
+For example, if you read in the morning some of La Rochefoucault's
+maxims; consider them, examine them well, and compare them with the real
+characters you meet with in the evening.  Read La Bruyere in the morning,
+and see in the evening whether his pictures are like.  Study the heart
+and the mind of man, and begin with your own.  Meditation and reflection
+must lay the foundation of that knowledge: but experience and practice
+must, and alone can, complete it.  Books, it is true, point out the
+operations of the mind, the sentiments of the heart, the influence of the
+passions; and so far they are of previous use: but without subsequent
+practice, experience, and observation, they are as ineffectual, and would
+even lead you into as many errors in fact, as a map would do, if you were
+to take your notions of the towns and provinces from their delineations
+in it.  A man would reap very little benefit by his travels, if he made
+them only in his closet upon a map of the whole world.  Next to the two
+books that I have already mentioned, I do not know a better for you to
+read, and seriously reflect upon, than 'Avis d'une Mere d'un Fils, par la
+Marquise de Lambert'.  She was a woman of a superior understanding and
+knowledge of the world, had always kept the best company, was solicitous
+that her son should make a figure and a fortune in the world, and knew
+better than anybody how to point out the means.  It is very short, and
+will take you much less time to read, than you ought to employ in
+reflecting upon it, after you have read it.  Her son was in the army, she
+wished he might rise there; but she well knew, that, in order to rise, he
+must first please: she says to him, therefore, With regard to those upon
+whom you depend, the chief merit is to please.  And, in another place, in
+subaltern employments, the art of pleasing must be your support.  Masters
+are like mistresses: whatever services they may be indebted to you for,
+they cease to love when you cease to be agreeable.  This, I can assure
+you, is at least as true in courts as in camps, and possibly more so.
+If to your merit and knowledge you add the art of pleasing, you may very
+probably come in time to be Secretary of State; but, take my word for it,
+twice your merit and knowledge, without the art of pleasing, would, at
+most, raise you to the IMPORTANT POST of Resident at Hamburgh or
+Ratisbon.  I need not tell you now, for I often have, and your own
+discernment must have told you, of what numberless little ingredients
+that art of pleasing is compounded, and how the want of the least of them
+lowers the whole; but the principal ingredient is, undoubtedly, 'la
+douceur dans le manieres':  nothing will give you this more than keeping
+company with your superiors.  Madame Lambert tells her son, Let your
+connections be with people above you; by that means you will acquire a
+habit of respect and politeness.  With one's equals, one is apt to become
+negligent, and the mind grows torpid. She advises him, too, to frequent
+those people, and to see their inside; In order to judge of men, one must
+be intimately connected; thus you see them without, a veil, and with
+their mere every-day merit.  A happy expression!  It was for this reason
+that I have so often advised you to establish and domesticate yourself,
+wherever you can, in good houses of people above you, that you may see
+their EVERY-DAY character, manners, habits, etc.  One must see people
+undressed to judge truly of their shape; when they are dressed to go
+abroad, their clothes are contrived to conceal, or at least palliate the
+defects of it: as full-bottomed wigs were contrived for the Duke of
+Burgundy, to conceal his hump back.  Happy those who have no faults to
+disguise, nor weaknesses to conceal! there are few, if any such; but
+unhappy those who know little enough of the world to judge by outward
+appearances.  Courts are the best keys to characters; there every passion
+is busy, every art exerted, every character analyzed; jealousy, ever
+watchful, not only discovers, but exposes, the mysteries of the trade, so
+that even  bystanders 'y apprennent a deviner'.  There too the great art
+of pleasing is practiced, taught, and learned with all its graces and
+delicacies.  It is the first thing needful there:  It is the absolutely
+necessary harbinger of merit and talents, let them be ever so great.
+There is no advancing a step without it.  Let misanthropes and would-be
+philosophers declaim as much as they please against the vices, the
+simulation, and dissimulation of courts; those invectives are always the
+result of ignorance, ill-humor, or envy.  Let them show me a cottage,
+where there are not the same vices of which they accuse courts; with this
+difference only, that in a cottage they appear in their native deformity,
+and that in courts, manners and good-breeding make them less shocking,
+and blunt their edge.  No, be convinced that the good-breeding, the
+'tournure, la douceur dans les manieres', which alone are to be acquired
+at courts, are not the showish trifles only which some people call or
+think them; they are a solid good; they prevent a great deal of real
+mischief; they create, adorn, and strengthen friendships; they keep
+hatred within bounds; they promote good-humor and good-will in families,
+where the want of good-breeding and gentleness of manners is commonly the
+original cause of discord.  Get then, before it is too late, a habit of
+these 'mitiores virtutes': practice them upon every, the least occasion,
+that they may be easy and familiar to you upon the greatest; for they
+lose a great degree of their merit if they seem labored, and only called
+in upon extraordinary occasions.  I tell you truly, this is now the only
+doubtful part of your character with me; and it is for that reason that I
+dwell upon it so much, and inculcate it so often.  I shall soon see
+whether this doubt of mine is founded; or rather I hope I shall soon see
+that it is not.
+
+This moment I receive your letter of the 9th N. S.  I am sorry to find
+that you have had, though ever so slight a return of your Carniolan
+disorder; and I hope your conclusion will prove a true one, and that this
+will be the last.  I will send the mohairs by the first opportunity.  As
+for the pictures, I am already so full, that I am resolved not to buy one
+more, unless by great accident I should meet with something surprisingly
+good, and as surprisingly cheap.
+
+I should have thought that Lord -------, at his age, and with his parts
+and address, need not have been reduced to keep an opera w---e, in such a
+place as Paris, where so many women of fashion generously serve as
+volunteers.  I am still more sorry that he is in love with her; for that
+will take him out of good company, and sink him into bad; such as
+fiddlers, pipers, and 'id genus omne'; most unedifying and unbecoming
+company for a man of fashion!
+
+Lady Chesterfield makes you a thousand compliments.  Adieu, my dear
+child.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLVI
+
+GREENWICH, June 10, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: Your ladies were so slow in giving their specific orders,
+that the mohairs, of which you at last sent me the patterns, were all
+sold.  However, to prevent further delays (for ladies are apt to be very
+impatient, when at last they know their own minds), I have taken the
+quantities desired of three mohairs which come nearest to the description
+you sent me some time ago, in Madame Monconseil's own hand; and I will
+send them to Calais by the first opportunity.  In giving 'la petite Blot'
+her piece, you have a fine occasion of saying fine things, if so
+inclined.
+
+Lady Hervey, who is your puff and panegyrist, writes me word that she saw
+you lately dance at a ball, and that you dance very genteelly.  I am
+extremely glad to hear it; for (by the maxim, that 'omne majus continet
+in se minus'), if you dance genteelly, I presume you walk, sit, and stand
+genteelly too; things which are much more easy, though much more
+necessary, than dancing well.  I have known many very genteel people, who
+could not dance well; but I never knew anybody dance very well, who was
+not genteel in other things.  You will probably often have occasion to
+stand in circles, at the levees of princes and ministers, when it is very
+necessary 'de payer de sa personne, et d'etre bien plante', with your
+feet not too near nor too distant from each other.  More people stand and
+walk, than sit genteelly.  Awkward, ill-bred people, being ashamed,
+commonly sit bolt upright and stiff; others, too negligent and easy,
+'se vautrent dans leur fauteuil', which is ungraceful and ill-bred,
+unless where the familiarity is extreme; but a man of fashion makes
+himself easy, and appears so by leaning gracefully instead of lolling
+supinely; and by varying those easy attitudes instead of that stiff
+immobility of a bashful booby.  You cannot conceive, nor can I express,
+how advantageous a good air, genteel motions, and engaging address are,
+not only among women, but among men, and even in the course of business;
+they fascinate the affections, they steal a preference, they play about
+the heart till they engage it.  I know a man, and so do you, who, without
+a grain of merit, knowledge, or talents, has raised himself millions of
+degrees above his level, simply by a good air and engaging manners;
+insomuch that the very Prince who raised him so high, calls him, 'mon
+aimable vaut-rien';--[The Marichal de Richelieu.]--but of this do not
+open your lips, 'pour cause'.  I give you this secret as the strongest
+proof imaginable of the efficacy of air, address, 'tournure, et tout ces
+Petits riens'.
+
+Your other puff and panegyrist, Mr. Harte, is gone to Windsor in his way
+to Cornwall, in order to be back soon enough to meet you here: I really
+believe he is as impatient for that moment as I am, 'et c'est tout dire':
+but, however, notwithstanding my impatience, if by chance you should then
+be in a situation, that leaving Paris would cost your heart too many
+pangs, I allow you to put off your journey, and to tell me, as Festus did
+Paul, AT A MORE CONVENIENT SEASON I WILL SPEAK TO THEE.  You see by this
+that I eventually sacrifice my sentiments to yours, and this in a very
+uncommon object of paternal complaisance.  Provided always, and be it
+understood (as they say in acts of Parliament), that 'quae te cumque
+domat Venus, non erubescendis adurit ignibus'.  If your heart will let
+you come, bring with you only your valet de chambre, Christian, and your
+own footman; not your valet de place, whom you may dismiss for the time,
+as also your coach; but you had best keep on your lodgings, the
+intermediate expense of which will be but inconsiderable, and you will
+want them to leave your books and baggage in.  Bring only the clothes you
+travel in, one suit of black, for the mourning for the Prince will not be
+quite out by that time, and one suit of your fine clothes, two or three
+of your laced shirts, and the rest plain ones; of other things, as bags,
+feathers, etc., as you think proper.  Bring no books, unless two or three
+for your' amusement upon the road; for we must apply simply to English,
+in which you are certainly no 'puriste'; and I will supply you
+sufficiently with the proper English authors.  I shall probably keep you
+here till about the middle of October, and certainly not longer; it being
+absolutely necessary for you to pass the next winter at Paris; so that;
+should any fine eyes shed tears for your departure, you may dry them by
+the promise of your return in two months.
+
+Have you got a master for geometry?  If the weather is very hot, you may
+leave your riding at the 'manege' till you return to Paris, unless you
+think the exercise does you more good than the heat can do you harm; but
+I desire you will not leave off Marcel for one moment; your fencing
+likewise, if you have a mind, may subside for the summer; but you will do
+well to resume it in the winter and to be adroit at it, but by no means
+for offense, only for defense in case of necessity.  Good night.  Yours.
+
+P. S.  I forgot to give you one commission, when you come here; which is,
+not to fail bringing the GRACES along with you.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLVII
+
+GREENWICH, June 13, O. S. 1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: 'Les bienseances'--[This single word implies decorum,
+good-breeding, and propriety]--are a most necessary part of the
+knowledge of the world.  They consist in the relations of persons,
+things, time, and place; good sense points them out, good company
+perfects them ( supposing always an attention and a desire to please),
+and good policy recommends them.
+
+Were you to converse with a king, you ought to be as easy and
+unembarrassed as with your own valet de chambre; but yet, every look,
+word and action, should imply the utmost respect.  What would be proper
+and well-bred with others, much your superiors, would be absurd and ill-
+bred with one so very much so.  You must wait till you are spoken to; you
+must receive, not give, the subject of conversation; and you must even
+take care that the given subject of such conversation do not lead you
+into any impropriety.  The art would be to carry it, if possible, to some
+indirect flattery; such as commending those virtues in some other person,
+in which that prince either thinks he does, or at least would be thought
+by others to excel.  Almost the same precautions are necessary to be used
+with ministers, generals, etc., who expect to be treated with very near
+the same respect as their masters, and commonly deserve it better.  There
+is, however, this difference, that one may begin the conversation with
+them, if on their side it should happen to drop, provided one does not
+carry it to any subject upon which it is improper either for them to
+speak, or be spoken to.  In these two cases, certain attitudes and
+actions would be extremely absurd, because too easy, and consequently
+disrespectful.  As, for instance, if you were to put your arms across in
+your bosom, twirl your snuff-box, trample with your feet, scratch your
+head, etc., it would be shockingly ill-bred in that company; and, indeed,
+not extremely well-bred in any other.  The great difficulty in those
+cases, though a very surmountable one by attention and custom, is to join
+perfect inward ease with perfect outward respect.
+
+In mixed companies with your equals (for in mixed companies all people
+are to a certain degree equal), greater ease and liberty are allowed; but
+they too have their bounds within 'bienseance'.  There is a social
+respect necessary: you may start your own subject of conversation with
+modesty, taking great care, however, 'de ne jamais parler de cordes.
+dans la maison d'un pendu.--[Never to mention a rope in the family of a
+man who has been hanged]--Your words, gestures, and attitudes, have a
+greater degree of latitude, though by no means an unbounded one.  You may
+have your hands in your pockets, take snuff, sit, stand, or occasionally
+walk, as you like; but I believe you would not think it very 'bienseant'
+to whistle, put on your hat, loosen your garters or your buckles, lie
+down upon a couch, or go to bed, and welter in an easychair.  These are
+negligences and freedoms which one can only take when quite alone; they
+are injurious to superiors, shocking and offensive to equals, brutal and
+insulting to inferiors.  That easiness of carriage and behavior, which is
+exceedingly engaging, widely differs from negligence and inattention, and
+by no means implies that one may do whatever one pleases; it only means
+that one is not to be stiff, formal, embarrassed, disconcerted, and
+ashamed, like country bumpkins, and, people who have never been in good
+company; but it requires great attention to, and a scrupulous observation
+of 'les bienseances': whatever one ought to do, is to be done with ease
+and unconcern; whatever is improper must not be done at all.  In mixed
+companies also, different ages and sexes are to be differently addressed.
+You would not talk of your pleasures to men of a certain age, gravity,
+and dignity; they justly expect from young people a degree of deference
+and regard.  You should be full as easy with them as with people of your
+own years: but your manner must be different; more respect must be
+implied; and it is not amiss to insinuate that from them you expect to
+learn.  It flatters and comforts age for not being able to take a part in
+the joy and titter of youth.  To women you should always address yourself
+with great outward respect and attention, whatever you feel inwardly;
+their sex is by long prescription entitled to it; and it is among the
+duties of 'bienseance'; at the same time that respect is very properly
+and very agreeably mixed with a degree of 'enjouement', if you have it;
+but then, that badinage must either directly or indirectly tend to their
+praise, and even not be liable to a malicious construction to their
+disadvantage.  But here, too, great attention must be had to the
+difference of age, rank, and situation.  A 'marechale' of fifty must not
+be played with like a young coquette of fifteen; respect and serious
+'enjouement', if I may couple those two words, must be used with the
+former, and mere 'badinage, zeste meme d'un peu de polissonerie', is
+pardonable with the latter.
+
+Another important point of 'les bienseances', seldom enough attended to,
+is, not to run your own present humor and disposition indiscriminately
+against everybody, but to observe, conform to, and adopt them.  For
+example, if you happened to be in high good humor and a flow of spirits,
+would you go and sing a 'pont neuf',--[a ballad]--or cut a caper, to la
+Marechale de Coigny, the Pope's nuncio, or Abbe Sallier, or to any person
+of natural gravity and melancholy, or who at that time should be in
+grief?  I believe not; as, on the other hand, I suppose, that if you were
+in low spirits or real grief, you would not choose to bewail your
+situation with 'la petite Blot'.  If you cannot command your present
+humor and disposition, single out those to converse with, who happen to
+be in the humor the nearest to your own.
+
+Loud laughter is extremely inconsistent with 'les bienseances', as it is
+only the illiberal and noisy testimony of the joy of the mob at some very
+silly thing.  A gentleman is often seen, but very seldom heard to laugh.
+Nothing is more contrary to 'les bienseances' than horse-play, or 'jeux
+de main' of any kind whatever, and has often very serious, sometimes very
+fatal consequences.  Romping, struggling, throwing things at one
+another's head, are the becoming pleasantries of the mob, but degrade a
+gentleman: 'giuoco di mano, giuoco di villano', is a very true saying,
+among the few true sayings of the Italians.
+
+Peremptoriness and decision in young people is 'contraire aux
+bienseances', and they should seldom seem to assert, and always use some
+softening mitigating expression; such as, 's'il m'est permis de le dire,
+je croirais plutot, si j'ose m'expliquer', which soften the manner,
+without giving up or even weakening the thing.  People of more age and
+experience expect, and are entitled to, that degree of deference.
+
+There is a 'bienseance' also with regard to people of the lowest degree:
+a gentleman observes it with his footman--even with the beggar in the
+street.  He considers them as objects of compassion, not of insult; he
+speaks to neither 'd'un ton brusque', but corrects the one coolly, and
+refuses the other with humanity.  There is one occasion in the world in
+which 'le ton brusque' is becoming a gentleman.  In short, 'les
+bienseances' are another word for MANNERS, and extend to every part of
+life.  They are propriety; the Graces should attend, in order to complete
+them; the Graces enable us to do, genteelly and pleasingly, what 'les
+bienseances' require to be done at all.  The latter are an obligation
+upon every man; the former are an infinite advantage and ornament to any
+man.  May you unite both!
+
+Though you dance well, do not think that you dance well enough, and
+consequently not endeavor to dance still better.  And though you should
+be told that you are genteel, still aim at being genteeler.  If Marcel
+should, do not you be satisfied.  Go on, court the Graces all your
+lifetime; you will find no better friends at court: they will speak in
+your favor, to the hearts of princes, ministers, and mistresses.
+
+Now that all tumultuous passions and quick sensations have subsided with
+me, and that I have no tormenting cares nor boisterous pleasures to
+agitate me, my greatest joy is to consider the fair prospect you have
+before you, and to hope and believe you will enjoy it.  You are already
+in the world, at an age when others have hardly heard of it.  Your
+character is hitherto not only unblemished in its mortal part, but even
+unsullied by any low, dirty, and ungentleman-like vice; and will, I hope,
+continue so.  Your knowledge is sound, extensive and avowed, especially
+in everything relative to your destination.  With such materials to begin
+with, what then is wanting!  Not fortune, as you have found by
+experience.  You have had, and shall have, fortune sufficient to assist
+your merit and your industry; and if I can help it, you never shall have
+enough to make you negligent of either.  You have, too, 'mens sana in
+corpore sano', the greatest blessing of all.  All, therefore, that you
+want is as much in your power to acquire, as to eat your breakfast when
+set before you; it is only that knowledge of the world, that elegance of
+manners, that universal politeness, and those graces which keeping good
+company, and seeing variety of places and characters, must inevitably,
+with the least attention on your part, give you.  Your foreign
+destination leads to the greatest things, and your parliamentary
+situation will facilitate your progress.  Consider, then, this pleasing
+prospect as attentively for yourself as I consider it for you.  Labor on
+your part to realize it, as I will on mine to assist, and enable you to
+do it.  'Nullum numen abest, si sit prudentia'.
+
+Adieu, my dear child!  I count the days till I have the pleasure of
+seeing you; I shall soon count the hours, and at last the minutes, with
+increasing impatience.
+
+P.  S.  The mohairs are this day gone from hence for Calais, recommended
+to the care of Madame Morel, and directed, as desired, to the
+Comptroller-general.  The three pieces come to six hundred and eighty
+French livres.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLVIII
+
+GREENWICH, June 20, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: So very few people, especially young travelers, see what
+they see, or hear what they hear, that though I really believe it may be
+unnecessary with you, yet there can be no harm in reminding you, from
+time to time, to see what you see, and to hear what you hear; that is,
+to see and hear as you should do.  Frivolous, futile people, who make at
+least three parts in four of mankind, only desire to see and hear what
+their frivolous and futile precursors have seen and heard: as St.
+Peter's, the Pope, and High Mass, at Rome; Notre Dame, Versailles, the
+French King, and the French Comedy, in France.  A man of parts sees and
+hears very differently from these gentlemen, and a great deal more.
+He examines and informs himself thoroughly of everything he sees or
+hears; and, more particularly, as it is relative to his own profession or
+destination.  Your destination is political; the object, therefore, of
+your inquiries and observations should be the political interior of
+things; the forms of government, laws, regulations, customs, trade,
+manufactures, etc., of the several nations of Europe.  This knowledge is
+much better acquired by conversation with sensible and well-informed
+people, than by books, the best of which upon these subjects are always
+imperfect.  For example, there are "Present States" of France, as there
+are of England; but they are always defective, being published by people
+uninformed, who only copy one another; they are, however, worth looking
+into because they point out objects for inquiry, which otherwise might
+possibly never have occurred to one's mind; but an hour's conversation
+with a sensible president or 'conseiller' will let you more into the true
+state of the parliament of Paris, than all the books in France.  In the
+same manner, the 'Almanack Militaire' is worth your having; but two or
+three conversations with officers will inform you much better of their
+military regulations.  People have, commonly, a partiality for their own
+professions, love to talk of them, and are even flattered by being
+consulted upon the subject; when, therefore, you are with any of those
+military gentlemen (and you can hardly be in any company without some),
+ask them military questions, inquire into their methods of discipline,
+quartering, and clothing their men; inform yourself of their pay, their
+perquisites, 'lours montres, lours etapes', etc.  Do the same as to the
+marine, and make yourself particularly master of that detail; which has,
+and always will have, a great relation to the affairs of England; and, in
+proportion as you get good informations, take minutes of them in writing.
+
+The regulations of trade and commerce in France are excellent, as appears
+but too plainly for us, by the great increase of both, within these
+thirty years; for not to mention their extensive commerce in both the
+East and West Indies, they have got the whole trade of the Levant from
+us; and now supply all the foreign markets with their sugars, to the ruin
+almost of our sugar colonies, as Jamaica, Barbadoes, and the Leeward
+Islands.  Get, therefore, what informations you can of these matters
+also.
+
+Inquire too into their church matters; for which the present disputes
+between the court and the clergy give you fair and frequent
+opportunities.  Know the particular rights of the Gallican church, in
+opposition to the pretensions of the See of Rome.  I need not recommend
+ecclesiastical history to you, since I hear that you study 'Du Pin' very
+assiduously.
+
+You cannot imagine how much this solid and useful knowledge of other
+countries will distinguish you in your own (where, to say the truth, it
+is very little known or cultivated), besides the great use it is of in
+all foreign negotiations; not to mention that it enables a man to shine
+in all companies.  When kings and princes have any knowledge, it is of
+this sort, and more particularly; and therefore it is the usual topic of
+their levee conversations, in which it will qualify you to bear a
+considerable part; it brings you more acquainted with them; and they are
+pleased to have people talk to them on a subject in which they think to
+shine.
+
+There is a sort of chit-chat, or SMALL TALK, which is the general run of
+conversation at courts, and in most mixed companies.  It is a sort of
+middling conversation, neither silly nor edifying; but, however, very
+necessary for you to become master of.  It turns upon the public events
+of Europe, and then is at its best; very often upon the number, the
+goodness or badness, the discipline, or the clothing of the troops of
+different princes; sometimes upon the families, the marriages, the
+relations of princes, and considerable people; and sometimes 'sur le bon
+chere', the magnificence of public entertainments, balls, masquerades,
+etc.  I would wish you to be able to talk upon all these things better,
+and with more knowledge than other people; insomuch that upon those
+occasions, you should be applied to, and that people should say, I DARE
+SAY MR. STANHOPE CAN TELL US.
+
+Second-rate knowledge and middling talents carry a man further at courts,
+and in the busy part of the world, than superior knowledge and shining
+parts.  Tacitus very justly accounts for a man's having always kept in
+favor and enjoyed the best employments under the tyrannical reigns of
+three or four of the very worst emperors, by saying that it was not
+'propter aliquam eximiam artem, sed quia par negotiis neque supra erat'.
+Discretion is the great article; all these things are to be learned, and
+only learned by keeping a great deal of the best company.  Frequent those
+good houses where you have already a footing, and wriggle yourself
+somehow or other into every other.  Haunt the courts particularly in
+order to get that ROUTINE.
+
+This moment I receive yours of the 18th N. S.  You will have had some
+time ago my final answers concerning the pictures; and, by my last, an
+account that the mohairs were gone to Madame Morel, at Calais, with the
+proper directions.
+
+I am sorry that your two sons-in-law [??  D.W.], the Princes B----, are
+such boobies; however, as they have the honor of being so nearly related
+to you, I will show them what civilities I can.
+
+I confess you have not time for long absences from Paris, at present,
+because of your various masters, all which I would have you apply to
+closely while you are now in that capital; but when you return thither,
+after the visit you intend me the honor of, I do not propose your having
+any master at all, except Marcel, once or twice a week.  And then the
+courts will, I hope, be no longer strange countries to you; for I would
+have you run down frequently to Versailles and St. Cloud, for three or
+four days at a time.  You know the Abbe de la Ville, who will present you
+to others, so that you will soon be 'faufile' with the rest of the court.
+Court is the soil in which you are to grow and flourish; you ought to be
+well acquainted with the nature of it; like all other soil, it is in some
+places deeper, in others lighter, but always capable of great improvement
+by cultivation and experience.
+
+You say that you want some hints for a letter to Lady Chesterfield; more
+use and knowledge of the world will teach you occasionally to write and
+talk genteelly, 'sup des riens', which I can tell you is a very useful
+part upon worldly knowledge; for in some companies, it would be imprudent
+to talk of anything else; and with very many people it is impossible to
+talk of anything else; they would not understand you.  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CXLIX
+
+LONDON, June 24, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  Air, address, manners, and graces are of such infinite
+advantage to whoever has them, and so peculiarly and essentially
+necessary for you, that now, as the time of our meeting draws near,
+I tremble for fear I should not find you possessed of them; and, to tell
+you the truth, I doubt you are not yet sufficiently convinced for their
+importance.  There is, for instance, your intimate friend, Mr. H-----,
+who with great merit, deep knowledge, and a thousand good qualities,
+will never make a figure in the world while he lives.  Why?  Merely for
+want of those external and showish accomplishments, which he began the
+world too late to acquire; and which, with his studious and philosophical
+turn, I believe he thinks are not worth his attention.  He may, very
+probably, make a figure in the republic of letters, but he had ten
+thousand times better make a figure as a man of the world and of business
+in the republic of the United Provinces, which, take my word for it, he
+never will.
+
+As I open myself, without the least reserve, whenever I think that my
+doing so can be of any use to you, I will give you a short account of
+myself.  When I first came into the world, which was at the age you are
+of now, so that, by the way, you have got the start of me in that
+important article by two or three years at least,--at nineteen I left the
+University of Cambridge, where I was an absolute pedant; when I talked my
+best, I quoted Horace; when I aimed at being facetious, I quoted Martial;
+and when I had a mind to be a fine gentleman, I talked Ovid.  I was
+convinced that none but the ancients had common sense; that the classics
+contained everything that was either necessary, useful, or ornamental to
+men; and I was not without thoughts of wearing the 'toga virilis' of the
+Romans, instead of the vulgar and illiberal dress of the moderns.  With
+these excellent notions I went first to The Hague, where, by the help of
+several letters of recommendation, I was soon introduced into all the
+best company; and where I very soon discovered that I was totally
+mistaken in almost every one notion I had entertained.  Fortunately, I
+had a strong desire to please (the mixed result of good-nature and a
+vanity by no means blamable), and was sensible that I had nothing but the
+desire.  I therefore resolved, if possible, to acquire the means, too.  I
+studied attentively and minutely the dress, the air, the manner, the
+address, and the turn of conversation of all those whom I found to be the
+people in fashion, and most generally allowed to please.  I imitated them
+as well as I could; if I heard that one man was reckoned remarkably
+genteel, I carefully watched his dress, motions and attitudes, and formed
+my own upon them.  When I heard of another, whose conversation was
+agreeable and engaging, I listened and attended to the turn of it.  I
+addressed myself, though 'de tres mauvaise grace', to all the most
+fashionable fine ladies; confessed, and laughed with them at my own
+awkwardness and rawness, recommending myself as an object for them to try
+their skill in forming.  By these means, and with a passionate desire of
+pleasing everybody, I came by degrees to please some; and, I can assure
+you, that what little figure I have made in the world, has been much more
+owing to that passionate desire of pleasing universally than to any
+intrinsic merit or sound knowledge I might ever have been master of.  My
+passion for pleasing was so strong (and I am very glad it was so), that I
+own to you fairly, I wished to make every woman I saw in love with me,
+and every man I met with admire me.  Without this passion for the object,
+I should never have been so attentive to the means; and I own I cannot
+conceive how it is possible for any man of good-nature and good sense to
+be without this passion.  Does not good-nature incline us to please all
+those we converse with, of whatever rank or station they may be?  And
+does not good sense and common observation, show of what infinite use it
+is to please?  Oh! but one may please by the good qualities of the heart,
+and the knowledge of the head, without that fashionable air, address and
+manner, which is mere tinsel.  I deny it.  A man may be esteemed and
+respected, but I defy him to please without them.  Moreover, at your age,
+I would not have contented myself with barely pleasing; I wanted to shine
+and to distinguish myself in the world as a man of fashion and gallantry,
+as well as business.  And that ambition or vanity, call it what you
+please, was a right one; it hurt nobody, and made me exert whatever
+talents I had.  It is the spring of a thousand right and good things.
+
+I was talking you over the other day with one very much your friend, and
+who had often been with you, both at Paris and in Italy.  Among the
+innumerable questions which you may be sure I asked him concerning you, I
+happened to mention your dress (for, to say the truth, it was the only
+thing of which I thought him a competent judge) upon which he said that
+you dressed tolerably well at Paris; but that in Italy you dressed so
+ill, that he used to joke with you upon it, and even to tear your
+clothes.  Now, I must tell you, that at your age it is as ridiculous not
+to be very well dressed, as at my age it would be if I were to wear a
+white feather and red-heeled shoes.  Dress is one of various ingredients
+that contribute to the art of pleasing; it pleases the eyes at least, and
+more especially of women.  Address yourself to the senses, if you would
+please; dazzle the eyes, soothe and flatter the ears of mankind; engage
+their hearts, and let their reason do its worst against you.  'Suaviter
+in modo' is the great secret.  Whenever you find yourself engaged
+insensibly, in favor of anybody of no superior merit nor distinguished
+talents, examine, and see what it is that has made those impressions upon
+you: and you will find it to be that 'douceur', that gentleness of
+manners, that air and address, which I have so often recommended to you;
+and from thence draw this obvious conclusion, that what pleases you in
+them, will please others in you; for we are all made of the same clay,
+though some of the lumps are a little finer, and some a little coarser;
+but in general, the surest way to judge of others, is to examine and
+analyze one's self thoroughly.  When we meet I will assist you in that
+analysis, in which every man wants some assistance against his own
+self-love.  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CL
+
+GREENWICH, June 30, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: Pray give the inclosed to our friend the Abbe; it is to
+congratulate him upon his 'Canonicat', which I am really very glad of,
+and I hope it will fatten him up to Boileau's 'Chanoine'; at present he
+is as meagre as an apostle or a prophet.  By the way, has he ever
+introduced you to la Duchesse d'Aiguillon?  If he has not, make him
+present you; and if he has, frequent her, and make her many compliments
+from me.  She has uncommon, sense and knowledge for a woman, and her
+house is the resort of one set of 'les beaux esprits.  It is a
+satisfaction and a sort of credit to be acquainted with those gentlemen;
+and it puts a young fellow in fashion.  'A propos des beaux esprits', you
+have 'les entries' at Lady Sandwich's; who, old as she was, when I saw
+her last, had the strongest parts of any woman I ever knew in my life?
+If you are not acquainted with her, either the Duchesse d'Aiguillon or
+Lady Hervey can, and I dare say will; introduce you.  I can assure you,
+it is very well worth your while, both upon her own account, and for the
+sake of the people of wit and learning who frequent her.  In such
+companies there is always something to be learned as well as manners; the
+conversation turns upon something above trifles; some point of
+literature, criticism, history, etc., is discussed with ingenuity and
+good manners; for I must do the French people of learning justice; they
+are not bears, as most of ours are: they are gentlemen.
+
+Our Abbe writes me word that you were gone to Compiegne: I am very glad
+of it; other courts must form you for your own.  He tells me too, that
+you have left off riding at the 'manege'; I have no objection to that, it
+takes up a great deal of the morning; and if you have got a genteel and
+firm seat on horseback, it is enough for you, now that tilts and
+tournaments are laid aside.  I suppose you have hunted at Compiegne.  The
+King's hunting there, I am told, is a fine sight.  The French manner of
+hunting is gentlemanlike; ours is only for bumpkins and boobies.  The
+poor beasts are here pursued and run down by much greater beasts than
+themselves, and the true British fox-hunter is most undoubtedly a species
+appropriated and peculiar to this country, which no other part of the
+globe produces.
+
+I hope you apply the time you have saved from the riding-house to useful
+more than to learned purposes; for I can assure you they are very
+different things.  I would have you allow but one hour a-day for Greek;
+and that more to keep what you have than to increase it: by Greek, I mean
+useful Greek books, such as Demosthenes, Thucydides, etc., and not the
+poets, with whom you are already enough acquainted.  Your Latin will take
+care of itself.  Whatever more time you may have for reading, pray bestow
+it upon those books which are immediately relative to your destination;
+such as modern history, in the modern languages, memoirs, anecdotes,
+letters, negotiations, etc.  Collect also, if you can, authentically, the
+present state of all the courts and countries in Europe, the characters
+of the kings and princes, their wives, their ministers, and their w----s;
+their several views, connections, and interests; the state of their
+FINANCES, their military force, their trade, manufactures, and commerce.
+That is the useful, the necessary knowledge for you, and indeed for every
+gentleman.  But with all this, remember, that living books are much
+better than dead ones; and throw away no time (for it is thrown away)
+with the latter, which you can employ well with the former; for books
+must now be your only amusement, but, by no means your business.  I had
+much rather that you were passionately in love with some determined
+coquette of condition (who would lead you a dance, fashion, supple, and
+polish you), than that you knew all Plato and Aristotle by heart: an hour
+at Versailles, Compiegne, or St. Cloud, is now worth more to you than
+three hours in your closet, with the best books that ever were written.
+
+I hear the dispute between the court and the clergy is made up amicably,
+both parties have yielded something; the king being afraid of losing more
+of his soul, and the clergy more of their revenue.  Those gentlemen are
+very skillful in making the most of the vices and the weaknesses of the
+laity.  I hope you have read and informed yourself fully of everything
+relative to that affair; it is a very important question, in which the
+priesthood of every country in Europe is highly concerned.  If you would
+be thoroughly convinced that their tithes are of divine institution, and
+their property the property of God himself, not to be touched by any
+power on earth, read Fra Paolo De Beneficiis, an excellent and short
+book; for which, and some other treaties against the court of Rome, he
+was stilettoed; which made him say afterward, upon seeing an anonymous
+book written against him by order of the Pope, 'Conosco bene to stile
+Romano'.
+
+The parliament of Paris, and the states of Languedoc, will, I believe,
+hardly scramble off; having only reason and justice, but no terrors on
+their side.  Those are political and constitutional questions that well
+deserve your attention and inquiries.  I hope you are thoroughly master
+of them.  It is also worth your while to collect and keep all the pieces
+written upon those subjects.
+
+I hope you have been thanked by your ladies, at least, if not paid in
+money, for the mohairs, which I sent by a courier to Paris, some time
+ago, instead of sending them to Madame Morel, at Calais, as I told you I
+should.  Do they like them; and do they like you the better for getting
+them?  'Le petite Blot devroit au moins payer de sa personne'.  As for
+Madame de Polignac, I believe you will very willingly hold her excused
+from personal payment.
+
+Before you return to England, pray go again to Orli, for two or three
+days, and also to St. Cloud, in order to secure a good reception there at
+your return.  Ask the Marquis de Matignon too, if he has any orders for
+you in England, or any letters or packets for Lord Bolingbroke.  Adieu!
+Go on and prosper.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CLI
+
+GREENWICH, July 8, O. S.  1751.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  The last mail brought me your letter of the 3d July,
+N. S.  I am glad that you are so well with Colonel Yorke, as to be let
+into secret correspondences.  Lord Albemarle's reserve to you is, I
+believe, more owing to his secretary than to himself; for you seem to be
+much in favor with him; and possibly too HE HAS NO VERY SECRET LETTERS to
+communicate. However, take care not to discover the least dissatisfaction
+upon this score: make the proper acknowledgments to Colonel Yorke, for
+what he does show you; but let neither Lord Albemarle nor his people
+perceive the least coldness on your part, upon account of what they do
+not show you. It is very often necessary, not to manifest all one feels.
+Make your court to, and connect yourself as much as possible with Colonel
+Yorke; he may be of great use to you hereafter; and when you take leave,
+not only offer to bring over any letters or packets, by way of security;
+but even ask, as a favor, to be the carrier of a letter from him to his
+father, the Chancellor.  'A propos' of your coming here; I confess that I
+am weakly impatient for it, and think a few days worth getting; I would,
+therefore, instead of the 25th of next month, N. S., which was the day
+that I some time ago appointed for your leaving Paris, have you set out
+on Friday the 20th of August, N. S.; in consequence of which you will be
+at Calais some time on the Sunday following, and probably at Dover within
+four-and-twenty hours afterward.  If you land in the morning, you may, in
+a postchaise, get to Sittingborne that day; if you come on shore in the
+evening, you can only get to Canterbury, where you will be better lodged
+than at Dover.  I will not have you travel in the night, nor fatigue and
+overheat yourself by running on fourscore miles the moment you land.
+You will come straight to Blackheath, where I shall be ready to meet you,
+and which is directly upon the Dover road to London; and we will go to
+town together, after you have rested yourself a day or two here.  All the
+other directions, which I gave you in my former letter, hold still the
+same.  But, notwithstanding this regulation, should you have any
+particular reasons for leaving Paris two or three days sooner or later,
+than the above mentioned, 'vous etes maitre'.  Make all your arrangements
+at Paris for about a six weeks stay in England at farthest.
+
+I had a letter the other day from Lord Huntingdon, of which one-half at
+least was your panegyric; it was extremely welcome to me from so good a
+hand.  Cultivate that friendship; it will do you honor and give you
+strength.  Connections, in our mixed parliamentary government, are of
+great use.
+
+I send you here inclosed the particular price of each of the mohairs;
+but I do not suppose that you will receive a shilling for anyone of them.
+However, if any of your ladies should take an odd fancy to pay, the
+shortest way, in the course of business, is for you to keep the money,
+and to take so much less from Sir John Lambert in your next draught upon
+him.
+
+I am very sorry to hear that Lady Hervey is ill.  Paris does not seem to
+agree with her; she used to have great health here.  'A propos' of her;
+remember, when you are with me, not to mention her but when you and I are
+quite alone, for reasons which I will tell you when we meet: but this is
+only between you and me; and I desire that you will not so much as hint
+it to her, or to anybody else.
+
+If old Kurzay goes to the valley of Jehoshaphat, I cannot help it; it
+will be an ease to our friend Madame Montconseil, who I believe maintains
+her, and a little will not satisfy her in any way.
+
+Remember to bring your mother some little presents; they need not be of
+value, but only marks of your affection and duty for one who has always
+been tenderly fond of you.  You may bring Lady Chesterfield a little
+Martin snuffbox of about five Louis; and you need bring over no other
+presents; you and I not wanting 'les petits presens pour entretenir
+l'amitee'.
+
+Since I wrote what goes before, I have talked you over minutely with Lord
+Albemarle, who told me, that he could very sincerely commend you upon
+every article but one; but upon that one you were often joked, both by
+him and others.  I desired to know what that was; he laughed and told me
+it was the article of dress, in which you were exceedingly negligent.
+Though he laughed, I can assure you that it is no laughing matter for
+you; and you will possibly be surprised when I assert (but, upon my word,
+it is literally true), that to be very well dressed is of much more
+importance to you, than all the Greek you know will, be of these thirty
+years.  Remember that the world is now your only business; and that you
+must adopt its customs and manners, be they silly or be they not.  To
+neglect your dress, is an affront to all the women you keep company with;
+as it implies that you do not think them worth that attention which
+everybody else doth; they mind dress, and you will never please them if
+you neglect yours; and if you do not please the women, you will not
+please half the men you otherwise might.  It is the women who put a young
+fellow in fashion even with the men.  A young fellow ought to have a
+certain fund of coquetry; which should make him try all the means of
+pleasing, as much as any coquette in Europe can do.  Old as I am, and
+little thinking of women, God knows, I am very far from being negligent
+of my dress; and why?  From conformity to custom, and out of decency to
+men, who expect that degree of complaisance.  I do not, indeed, wear
+feathers and red heels, which would ill suit my age; but I take care to
+have my clothes well made, my wig well combed and powdered, my linen and
+person extremely clean.  I even allow my footman forty shillings a year
+extraordinary, that they may be spruce and neat.  Your figure especially,
+which from its stature cannot be very majestic and interesting, should be
+the more attended to in point of dress as it cannot be 'imposante', it
+should be 'gentile, aimable, bien mise'.  It will not admit of negligence
+and carelessness.
+
+I believe Mr. Hayes thinks that you have slighted him a little of late,
+since you have got into so much other company.  I do not by any means
+blame you for not frequenting his house so much as you did at first,
+before you had got into so many other houses more entertaining and more
+instructing than his; on the contrary, you do very well; but, however,
+as he was extremely civil to you, take care to be so to him, and make up
+in manner what you omit in matter.  See him, dine with him before you
+come away, and ask his commands for England.
+
+Your triangular seal is done, and I have given it to an English
+gentleman, who sets out in a week for Paris, and who will deliver it to
+Sir John Lambert for you.
+
+I cannot conclude this letter without returning again to the showish, the
+ornamental, the shining parts of your character; which, if you neglect,
+upon my word you will render the solid ones absolutely useless; nay, such
+is the present turn of the world, that some valuable qualities are even
+ridiculous, if not accompanied by the genteeler accomplishments.
+Plainness, simplicity, and quakerism, either in dress or manners, will by
+no means do; they must both be laced and embroidered; speaking, or
+writing sense, without elegance and turn, will be very little persuasive;
+and the best figure in the world, without air and address, will be very
+ineffectual.  Some pedants may have told you that sound sense and
+learning stand in, need of no ornaments; and, to support that assertion,
+elegantly quote the vulgar proverb, that GOOD WINE NEEDS NO BUSH; but
+surely the little experience you have already had of the world must have
+convinced you that the contrary of that assertion is true.  All those
+accomplishments are now in your power; think of them, and of them only.
+I hope you frequent La Foire St. Laurent, which I see is now open; you
+will improve more by going there with your mistress, than by staying at
+home and reading Euclid with your geometry master.  Adieu.  'Divertissez-
+vous, il n'y a rien de tel'.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CLII
+
+GREENWICH, July 15, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND:  As this is the last, or last letter but one, that I
+think I shall write before I have the pleasure of seeing you here, it may
+not be amiss to prepare you a little for our interview, and for the time
+we shall pass together.  Before kings and princes meet, ministers on each
+side adjust the important points of precedence, arm chairs, right hand
+and left, etc., so that they know previously what they are to expect,
+what they have to trust to; and it is right they should; for they
+commonly envy or hate, but most certainly distrust each other.  We shall
+meet upon very different terms; we want no such preliminaries: you know
+my tenderness, I know your affection.  My only object, therefore, is to
+make your short stay with me as useful as I can to you; and yours, I
+hope, is to co-operate with me.  Whether, by making it wholesome, I shall
+make it pleasant to you, I am not sure.  Emetics and cathartics I shall
+not administer, because I am sure you do not want them; but for
+alteratives you must expect a great many; and I can tell you that I have
+a number of NOSTRUMS, which I shall communicate to nobody but yourself.
+To speak without a metaphor, I shall endeavor to assist your youth with
+all the experience that I have purchased, at the price of seven and fifty
+years.  In order to this, frequent reproofs, corrections, and admonitions
+will be necessary; but then, I promise you, that they shall be in a
+gentle, friendly, and secret manner; they shall not put you out of
+countenance in company, nor out of humor when we are alone.  I do not
+expect that, at nineteen, you should have that knowledge of the world,
+those manners, that dexterity, which few people have at nine-and-twenty.
+But I will endeavor to give them you; and I am sure you will endeavor to
+learn them, as far as your youth, my experience, and the time we shall
+pass together, will allow.  You may have many inaccuracies (and to be
+sure you have, for who has not at your age?) which few people will tell
+you of, and some nobody can tell you of but myself.  You may possibly
+have others, too, which eyes less interested, and less vigilant than
+mine, do not discover; all those you shall hear of from one whose
+tenderness for you will excite his curiosity and sharpen his penetration.
+The smallest inattention or error in manners, the minutest inelegance of
+diction, the least awkwardness in your dress and carriage, will not
+escape my observation, nor pass without amicable correction.  Two, the
+most intimate friends in the world, can freely tell each other their
+faults, and even their crimes, but cannot possibly tell each other of
+certain little weaknesses; awkwardnesses, and blindnesses of self-love;
+to authorize that unreserved freedom, the relation between us is
+absolutely necessary.  For example, I had a very worthy friend, with whom
+I was intimate enough to tell him his faults; he had but few; I told him
+of them; he took it kindly of me, and corrected them.  But then, he had
+some weaknesses that I could never tell him of directly, and which he was
+so little sensible of himself, that hints of them were lost upon him.
+He had a scrag neck, of about a yard long; notwithstanding which, bags
+being in fashion, truly he would wear one to his wig, and did so; but
+never behind him, for, upon every motion of his head, his bag came
+forward over one shoulder or the other.  He took it into his head too,
+that he must occasionally dance minuets, because other people did; and he
+did so, not only extremely ill, but so awkward, so disjointed, slim, so
+meagre, was his figure, that had he danced as well as ever Marcel did, it
+would have been ridiculous in him to have danced at all.  I hinted these
+things to him as plainly as friendship would allow, and to no purpose;
+but to have told him the whole, so as to cure him, I must have been his
+father, which, thank God, I am not.  As fathers commonly go, it is seldom
+a misfortune to be fatherless; and, considering the general run of sons,
+as seldom a misfortune to be childless.  You and I form, I believe, an
+exception to that rule; for, I am persuaded that we would neither of us
+change our relation, were it in our power.  You will, I both hope and
+believe, be not only the comfort, but the pride of my age; and, I am
+sure, I will be the support, the friend, the guide of your youth.  Trust
+me without reserve; I will advise you without private interest, or secret
+envy.  Mr. Harte will do so too; but still there may be some little
+things proper for you to know, and necessary for you to correct, which
+even his friendship would not let him tell you of so freely as I should;
+and some, of which he may not possibly be so good a judge of as I am, not
+having lived so much in the great world.
+
+One principal topic of our conversation will be, not only the purity but
+the elegance of the English language; in both which you are very
+deficient.  Another will be the constitution of this country, of which,
+I believe, you know less than of most other countries in Europe.
+Manners, attentions, and address, will also be the frequent subjects of
+our lectures; and whatever I know of that important and necessary art,
+the art of pleasing.  I will unreservedly communicate to you.  Dress too
+(which, as things are, I can logically prove, requires some attention)
+will not always escape our notice.  Thus, my lectures will be more
+various, and in some respects more useful than Professor Mascow's, and
+therefore, I can tell you, that I expect to be paid for them; but, as
+possibly you would not care to part with your ready money, and as I do
+not think that it would be quite handsome in me to accept it, I will
+compound for the payment, and take it in attention and practice.
+
+Pray remember to part with all your friends, acquaintances, and
+mistresses, if you have any at Paris, in such a manner as may make them
+not only willing but impatient to see you there again.  Assure them of
+your desire of returning to them; and do it in a manner that they may
+think you in earnest, that is 'avec onction et une espece
+d'attendrissement'.  All people say, pretty near the same things upon
+those occasions; it is the manner only that makes the difference; and
+that difference is great.  Avoid, however, as much as you can, charging
+yourself with commissions, in your return from hence to Paris; I know, by
+experience, that they are exceedingly troublesome, commonly expensive,
+and very seldom satisfactory at last, to the persons who gave them; some
+you cannot refuse, to people to whom you are obliged, and would oblige in
+your turn; but as to common fiddle-faddle commissions, you may excuse
+yourself from them with truth, by saying that you are to return to Paris
+through Flanders, and see all those great towns; which I intend you shall
+do, and stay a week or ten days at Brussels.  Adieu!  A good journey to
+you, if this is my last; if not, I can repeat again what I shall wish
+constantly.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CLIII
+
+LONDON, December 19, O. S.  1751--[Note the date, which indicates that
+the sojourn with the author has ended.]
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: You are now entered upon a scene of business, where I
+hope you will one day make a figure.  Use does a great deal, but care and
+attention must be joined to it.  The first thing necessary in writing
+letters of business, is extreme clearness and perspicuity; every
+paragraph should be so clear and unambiguous, that the dullest fellow in
+the world may not be able to mistake it, nor obliged to read it twice in
+order to understand it.  This necessary clearness implies a correctness,
+without excluding an elegance of style.  Tropes, figures, antitheses,
+epigrams, etc., would be as misplaced and as impertinent in letters of
+business, as they are sometimes (if judiciously used) proper and pleasing
+in familiar letters, upon common and trite subjects.  In business, an
+elegant simplicity, the result of care, not of labor, is required.
+Business must be well, not affectedly dressed; but by no means
+negligently.  Let your first attention be to clearness, and read every
+paragraph after you have written it, in the critical view of discovering
+whether it is possible that any one man can mistake the true sense of it:
+and correct it accordingly.
+
+Our pronouns and relatives often create obscurity or ambiguity; be
+therefore exceedingly attentive to them, and take care to mark out with
+precision their particular relations.  For example, Mr. Johnson
+acquainted me that he had seen Mr. Smith, who had promised him to speak
+to Mr. Clarke, to return him (Mr. Johnson) those papers, which he (Mr.
+Smith) had left some time ago with him (Mr. Clarke): it is better to
+repeat a name, though unnecessarily, ten times, than to have the person
+mistaken once.  WHO, you know, is singly relative to persons, and cannot
+be applied to things; WHICH and THAT are chiefly relative to things, but
+not absolutely exclusive of persons; for one may say, the man THAT robbed
+or killed such-a-one; but it is better to say, the man WHO robbed or
+killed.  One never says, the man or the woman WHICH.  WHICH and THAT,
+though chiefly relative to things, cannot be always used indifferently as
+to things, and the 'euoovca' must sometimes determine their, place.  For
+instance, the letter WHICH I received from you, WHICH you referred to in
+your last, WHICH came by Lord Albemarle's messenger WHICH I showed to
+such-a-one; I would change it thus--The letter THAT I received from you;
+WHICH you referred to in your last, THAT came by Lord Albemarle's
+messenger, and WHICH I showed to such-a-one.
+
+Business does not exclude (as possibly you wish it did) the usual terms
+of politeness and good-breeding; but, on the contrary, strictly requires
+them: such as, I HAVE THE HONOR TO ACQUAINT YOUR LORDSHIP; PERMIT ME TO
+ASSURE YOU; IF I MAY BE ALLOWED TO GIVE MY OPINION, etc.  For the
+minister abroad, who writes to the minister at home, writes to his
+superior; possibly to his patron, or at least to one who he desires
+should be so.
+
+Letters of business will not only admit of, but be the better for CERTAIN
+GRACES--but then, they must be scattered with a sparing and skillful
+hand; they must fit their place exactly.  They must decently adorn
+without encumbering, and modestly shine without glaring.  But as this is
+the, utmost degree of perfection in letters of business, I would not
+advise you to attempt those embellishments, till you have first laid your
+foundation well.
+
+Cardinal d'Ossat's letters are the true letters of business; those of
+Monsieur d'Avaux are excellent; Sir William Temple's are very pleasing,
+but, I fear, too affected.  Carefully avoid all Greek or Latin
+quotations; and bring no precedents from the VIRTUOUS SPARTANS, THE
+POLITE ATHENIANS, AND THE BRAVE ROMANS.  Leave all that to futile
+pedants.  No flourishes, no declamation.  But (I repeat it again) there
+is an elegant simplicity and dignity of style absolutely necessary for
+good letters of business; attend to that carefully.  Let your periods be
+harmonious, without seeming to be labored; and let them not be too long,
+for that always occasions a degree of obscurity.  I should not mention
+correct orthography, but that you very often fail in that particular,
+which will bring ridicule upon you; for no man is allowed to spell ill.
+I wish too that your handwriting were much better; and I cannot conceive
+why it is not, since every man may certainly write whatever hand he
+pleases.  Neatness in folding up, sealing, and directing your packets, is
+by no means to be neglected; though, I dare say, you think it is.  But
+there is something in the exterior, even of a packet, that may please or
+displease; and consequently worth some attention.
+
+You say that your time is very well employed; and so it is, though as yet
+only in the outlines, and first ROUTINE of business.  They are previously
+necessary to be known; they smooth the way for parts and dexterity.
+Business requires no conjuration nor supernatural talents, as people
+unacquainted with it are apt to think.  Method, diligence, and
+discretion, will carry a man, of good strong common sense, much higher
+than the finest parts, without them, can do.  'Par negotiis, neque
+supra', is the true character of a man of business; but then it implies
+ready attention and no ABSENCES, and a flexibility and versatility of
+attention from one object to another, without being engrossed by anyone.
+
+Be upon your guard against the pedantry and affectation of business which
+young people are apt to fall into, from the pride of being concerned in
+it young.  They look thoughtful, complain of the weight of business,
+throw out mysterious hints, and seem big with secrets which they do not
+know.  Do you, on the contrary, never talk of business but to those with
+whom you are to transact it; and learn to seem vacuus and idle, when you
+have the most business.  Of all things, the 'volte sciollo', and the
+'pensieri stretti', are necessary.  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+LETTER CLIV
+
+LONDON, December 30, O. S.  1751
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND: The parliaments are the courts of justice of France, and
+are what our courts of justice in Westminster-Hall are here.  They used
+anciently to follow the court, and administer justice in presence of the
+King.  Philip le Bel first fixed it at Paris, by an edict of 1302.  It
+consisted then of but one chambre, which was called 'la Chambre des
+Prelats', most of the members being ecclesiastics; but the multiplicity
+of business made it by degrees necessary to create several other
+chambres.  It consists now of seven chambres:
+
+'La Grande Chambre', which is the highest court of justice, and to which
+appeals lie from the others.
+
+'Les cinq Chambres des Enquetes', which are like our Common Pleas, and
+Court of Exchequer.
+
+'La Tournelle', which is the court for criminal justice, and answers to
+our Old Bailey and King's Bench.
+
+There are in all twelve parliaments in France:
+1.  Paris
+2.  Toulouse
+3.  Grenoble
+4.  Bourdeaux
+5.  Dijon
+6.  Rouen
+7.  Aix en Provence
+8.  Rennes en Bretagne
+9.  Pau en Navarre
+10.  Metz
+11.  Dole en Franche Comte
+12.  Douay
+
+There are three 'Conseils Souverains', which may almost be called
+parliaments; they are those of:
+
+Perpignan      Arras     Alsace
+
+For further particulars of the French parliaments, read 'Bernard de la
+Rochefavin des Parlemens de France', and other authors, who have treated
+that subject constitutionally.  But what will be still better, converse
+upon it with people of sense and knowledge, who will inform you of the
+particular objects of the several chambres, and the businesses of the
+respective members, as, 'les Presidens, les Presidens a Mortier' (these
+last so called from their black velvet caps laced with gold), 'les
+Maitres tres des Requetes, les Greffiers, le Procureur General, les
+Avocats Generaux, les Conseillers', etc.  The great point in dispute is
+concerning the powers of the parliament of Paris in matters of state, and
+relatively to the Crown.  They pretend to the powers of the States-
+General of France when they used to be assembled (which, I think, they
+have not been since the reign of Lewis the Thirteenth, in the year 1615).
+The Crown denies those pretensions, and considers them only as courts of
+justice.  Mezeray seems to be on the side of the parliament in this
+question, which is very well worth your inquiry.  But, be that as it
+will, the parliament of Paris is certainly a very respectable body, and
+much regarded by the whole kingdom.  The edicts of the Crown, especially
+those for levying money on the subjects, ought to be registered in
+parliament; I do not say to have their effect, for the Crown would take
+good care of that; but to have a decent appearance, and to procure a
+willing acquiescence in the nation.  And the Crown itself, absolute as it
+is, does not love that strong opposition, and those admirable
+remonstrances, which it sometimes meets with from the parliaments.
+Many of those detached pieces are very well worth your collecting;
+and I remember, a year or two ago, a remonstrance of the parliament of
+Douay, upon the subject, as I think, of the 'Vingtieme', which was in my
+mind one of the finest and most moving compositions I ever read.
+They owned themselves, indeed, to be slaves, and showed their chains:
+but humbly begged of his Majesty to make them a little lighter, and less
+galling.
+
+THE STATES OF FRANCE were general assemblies of the three states or
+orders of the kingdom; the Clergy, the Nobility, and the 'Tiers Etat',
+that is, the people.  They used to be called together by the King, upon
+the most important affairs of state, like our Lords and Commons in
+parliament, and our Clergy in convocation.  Our parliament is our states,
+and the French parliaments are only their courts of justice.
+The Nobility consisted of all those of noble extraction, whether
+belonging to the SWORD or to the ROBE, excepting such as were chosen
+(which sometimes happened) by the Tiers Etat as their deputies to the
+States-General.  The Tiers Etat was exactly our House of Commons, that
+is, the people, represented by deputies of their own choosing.  Those who
+had the most considerable places, 'dans la robe', assisted at those
+assemblies, as commissioners on the part of the Crown.  The States met,
+for the first time that I can find (I mean by the name of 'les etats'),
+in the reign of Pharamond, 424, when they confirmed the Salic law.  From
+that time they have been very frequently assembled, sometimes upon
+important occasions, as making war and peace, reforming abuses, etc.; at
+other times, upon seemingly trifling ones, as coronations, marriages,
+etc.  Francis the First assembled them, in 1526, to declare null and void
+his famous treaty of Madrid, signed and sworn to by him during his
+captivity there.  They grew troublesome to the kings and to their
+ministers, and were but seldom called after the power of the Crown grew
+strong; and they have never been heard of since the year 1615.  Richelieu
+came and shackled the nation, and Mazarin and Lewis the Fourteenth
+riveted the shackles.
+
+There still subsist in some provinces in France, which are called 'pais
+d etats', an humble local imitation, or rather mimicry, of the great
+'etats', as in Languedoc, Bretagne, etc.  They meet, they speak, they
+grumble, and finally submit to whatever the King orders.
+
+Independently of the intrinsic utility of this kind of knowledge to every
+man of business, it is a shame for any man to be ignorant of it,
+especially relatively to any country he has been long in.  Adieu.
+
+
+
+
+ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS:
+
+A favor may make an enemy, and an injury may make a friend
+Affectation of business
+Applauded often, without approving
+At the first impulse of passion, be silent till you can be soft
+Avoid cacophony, and, what is very near as bad, monotony
+Be silent till you can be soft
+Being intelligible is now no longer the fashion
+Better refuse a favor gracefully, than to grant it clumsily
+Bolingbroke
+Bruyere
+Business must be well, not affectedly dressed
+Business now is to shine, not to weigh
+But stoops to conquer, and but kneels to rise
+Cease to love when you cease to be agreeable
+Chit-chat, useful to keep off improper and too serious subjects
+Committing acts of hostility upon the Graces
+Concealed what learning I had
+Consciousness of merit makes a man of sense more modest
+Disagreeable things may be done so agreeably as almost to oblige
+Disputes with heat
+Dr Fell
+Easy without negligence
+Elegance in one language will reproduce itself in all
+Every man knows that he understands religion and politics
+Every numerous assembly is MOB
+Everybody is good for something
+Expresses himself with more fire than elegance
+Frank without indiscretion
+Full-bottomed wigs were contrived for his humpback
+Gentleness of manners, with firmness of mind
+German, who has taken into his head that he understands French
+Grow wiser when it is too late
+Habitual eloquence
+Hand of a school-boy
+Hardened to the wants and distresses of mankind
+Have you learned to carve?
+If free from the guilt, be free from the suspicion, too
+Inclined to be fat, but I hope you will decline it
+Indolently say that they cannot do
+Information implies our previous ignorance; it must be sweetened
+Information is, in a certain degree, mortifying
+Insinuates himself only into the esteem of fools
+It is a real inconvenience to anybody to be fat
+Know, yourself and others
+Knowing how much you have, and how little you want
+Last beautiful varnish, which raises the colors
+Learn to keep your own secrets
+Loved without being despised, and feared without being hated
+Man of sense may be in haste, but can never be in a hurry
+Mangles what he means to carve
+Mazarin and Lewis the Fourteenth riveted the shackles
+Meditation and reflection
+Mere reason and good sense is never to be talked to a mob
+Mistimes or misplaces everything
+Mitigating, engaging words do by no means weaken your argument
+MOB: Understanding they have collectively none
+Often necessary, not to manifest all one feels
+One must often yield, in order to prevail
+Only because she will not, and not because she cannot
+Our frivolous dissertations upon the weather, or upon whist
+Outward air of modesty to all he does
+Richelieu came and shackled the nation
+Rochefoucault
+Rochefoucault, who, I am afraid, paints man very exactly
+See what you see, and to hear what you hear
+Seems to have no opinion of his own
+Seldom a misfortune to be childless
+She has uncommon, sense and knowledge for a woman
+Speaking to himself in the glass
+Style is the dress of thoughts
+Success turns much more upon manner than matter
+Swift
+Tacitus
+Take characters, as they do most things, upon trust
+They thought I informed, because I pleased them
+Unaffected silence upon that subject is the only true medium
+Unintelligible to his readers, and sometimes to himself
+Use palliatives when you contradict
+We love to be pleased better than to be informed
+Woman like her, who has always pleased, and often been pleased
+Women are the only refiners of the merit of men
+Yielded commonly without conviction
+
+
+
+
+End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of Letters to His Son, 1751
+by The Earl of Chesterfield
+
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