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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Breeder Reaction, by Winston Marks
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Breeder Reaction
+
+Author: Winston Marks
+
+Illustrator: Kelly Freas
+
+Release Date: April 21, 2010 [EBook #32077]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BREEDER REACTION ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Sankar Viswanathan, Greg Weeks, and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                         Transcriber's Note:
+
+    This etext was produced from If Worlds of Science Fiction April 1954.
+    Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S.
+    copyright on this publication was renewed.
+
+
+                           Breeder Reaction
+
+
+                           By Winston Marks
+
+
+                      Illustrated by Kelly Freas
+
+
+     _The remarkable thing about Atummyc Afterbath Dusting Powder
+      was that it gave you that lovely, radiant, atomic look--just
+      the way the advertisements said it would. In fact, it also
+      gave you a little something_ more!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+The advertising game is not as cut and dried as many people think.
+Sometimes you spend a million dollars and get no results, and then
+some little low-budget campaign will catch the public's fancy and walk
+away with merchandising honors of the year.
+
+Let me sound a warning, however. When this happens, watch out! There's
+always a reason for it, and it isn't always just a matter of bright
+slogans and semantic genius. Sometimes the product itself does the
+trick. And when this happens people in the industry lose their heads
+trying to capitalize on the "freak" good fortune.
+
+This can lead to disaster. May I cite one example?
+
+I was on loan to Elaine Templeton, Inc., the big cosmetics firm, when
+one of these "prairie fires" took off and, as product engineer from
+the firm of Bailey Hazlitt & Persons, Advertising Agency, I figured I
+had struck pure gold. My assay was wrong. It was fool's gold on a pool
+of quicksand.
+
+Madame "Elaine", herself, had called me in for consultation on a huge
+lipstick campaign she was planning--you know, NOW AT LAST, A TRULY
+KISS-PROOF LIPSTICK!--the sort of thing they pull every so often to
+get the ladies to chuck their old lip-goo and invest in the current
+dream of non-smearability. It's an old gimmick, and the new product is
+never actually kiss-proof, but they come closer each year, and the
+gals tumble for it every time.
+
+Well, they wanted my advice on a lot of details such as optimum
+shades, a new name, size, shape and design of container. And they were
+ready to spend a hunk of moolah on the build-up. You see, when they
+give a product a first-class advertising ride they don't figure on
+necessarily showing a profit on that particular item. If they break
+even they figure they are ahead of the game, because the true purpose
+is to build up the brand name. You get enough women raving over the
+new Elaine Templeton lipstick, and first thing you know sales start
+climbing on the whole line of assorted aids to seduction.
+
+Since E. T., Inc., was one of our better accounts, the old man told me
+to take as long as was needed, so I moved in to my assigned office, in
+the twelve-story E. T. building, secretary, Scotch supply, ice-bags,
+ulcer pills and all, and went to work setting up my survey staff. This
+product engineering is a matter of "cut and try" in some fields. You
+get some ideas, knock together some samples, try them on the public
+with a staff of interviewers, tabulate the results, draw your
+conclusions and hand them over to Production with a prayer. If your ad
+budget is large enough your prayer is usually answered, because the
+American Public buys principally on the "we know what we like, and we
+like what we know" principle. Make them "know it" and they'll buy it.
+Maybe in love, absence makes the heart grow fonder, but in this
+business, familiarity breeds nothing but sales.
+
+Madame Elaine had a fair staff of idea boys, herself. In fact, every
+other department head had some gimmick he was trying to push to get
+personal recognition. The Old Hag liked this spirit of initiative and
+made it plain to me I was to give everyone a thorough hearing.
+
+This is one of the crosses you have to bear. Everyone but the janitor
+was swarming into my office with suggestions, and more than half of
+them had nothing to do with the lipstick campaign at all. So I
+dutifully listened to each one, had my girl take impressive notes and
+then lifted my left or my right eyebrow at her. My left eyebrow meant
+file them in the wastebasket. This is how the Atummyc Afterbath
+Dusting Powder got lost in the shuffle, and later I was credited with
+launching a new item on which I didn't even have a record.
+
+It came about this way:
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Just before lunch one day, one of the Old Hag's promotion-minded
+pixies flounced her fanny into my interview chair, crossed her knees
+up to her navel and began selling me her pet project. She was a
+relative of the Madame as well as a department head, so I had to
+listen.
+
+Her idea was corny--a new dusting powder with "Atummion" added, to be
+called, "Atummyc Afterbath Dusting Powder"--"Atummyc", of course,
+being a far-fetched play on the word "atomic". What delighted her
+especially was that the intimate, meaningful word "tummy" occurred in
+her coined trade name, and this was supposed to do wonders in
+stimulating the imaginations of the young females of man-catching-age.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+As I said, the idea was corny. But the little hazel-eyed pixie was
+not. She was about 24, black-haired, small-waisted and bubbling with
+hormones. With her shapely knees and low-cut neckline she was a
+pleasant change of scenery from the procession of self-seeking
+middle-agers I had been interviewing--not that her motive was any
+different.
+
+I stalled a little to feast my eyes. "This _Atummion Added_ item," I
+said, "just what is _Atummion_?"
+
+"That's my secret," she said, squinching her eyes at me like a
+fun-loving little cobra. "My brother is assistant head chemist, and
+he's worked up a formula of fission products we got from the Atomic
+Energy Commission for experimentation."
+
+"Fission products!" I said. "That stuff's dangerous!"
+
+"Not this formula," she assured me. "Bob says there's hardly any
+radiation to it at all. Perfectly harmless."
+
+"Then what's it supposed to do?" I inquired naively.
+
+She stood up, placed one hand on her stomach and the other behind her
+head, wiggled and stretched. "Atummyc Bath Powder will give milady
+that wonderful, vibrant, _atomic_ feeling," she announced in a voice
+dripping with innuendo.
+
+"All right," I said, "that's what it's supposed to do. Now what does
+it really do?"
+
+"Smells good and makes her slippery-dry, like any other talcum," she
+admitted quite honestly. "It's the name and the idea that will put it
+across."
+
+"And half a million dollars," I reminded her. "I'm afraid the whole
+thing is a little too far off the track to consider at this time. I'm
+here to make a new lipstick go. Maybe later--"
+
+"I appreciate that, but honestly, don't you think it's a terrific
+idea?"
+
+"I think you're terrific," I told her, raising my left eyebrow at my
+secretary, "and we'll get around to you one of these days."
+
+"Oh, Mr. Sanders!" she said, exploding those big eyes at me and
+shoving a half-folded sheet of paper at me. "Would you please sign my
+interview voucher?"
+
+In Madame Elaine's organization you had to have a written "excuse" for
+absenting yourself from your department during working hours. I
+supposed that the paper I signed was no different from the others.
+Anyway, I was still blinded by the atomic blast of those hazel eyes.
+
+After she left I got to thinking it was strange that she had me sign
+the interview receipt. I couldn't remember having done that for any
+other department heads.
+
+I didn't tumble to the pixie's gimmick for a whole month, then I
+picked up the phone one day and the old man spilled the news. "I
+thought you were making lipstick over there. What's this call for ad
+copy on a new bath powder?"
+
+The incident flashed back in my mind, and rather than admit I had been
+by-passed I lied, "You know the Madame. She always gets all she can
+for her money."
+
+The old man muttered, "I don't see taking funds from the lipstick
+campaign and splitting them off into little projects like this," he
+said. "Twenty-five thousand bucks would get you one nice spread in the
+Post, but what kind of a one-shot campaign would that be?"
+
+I mumbled excuses, hung up and screamed for the pixie. My secretary
+said, "Who?"
+
+"Little sexy-eyes. The Atomic Bath Powder girl."
+
+Without her name it took an hour to dig her up, but she finally popped
+in, plumped down and began giggling. "You found out."
+
+"How," I demanded, "did you arrange it?"
+
+"Easy. Madame Elaine's in Paris. She gave you a free hand, didn't
+she?"
+
+I nodded.
+
+"Well, when you signed your okay on the Atummyc--"
+
+"That was an interview voucher!"
+
+"Not--exactly," she said ducking her head.
+
+The damage was done. You don't get ahead in this game by admitting
+mistakes, and the production department was already packaging and
+labelling samples of Atummyc Bath Powder to send out to the
+distributors.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I had to carve the $25,000 out of my lipstick budget and keep my mouth
+shut. When the ad copy came over from my firm I looked it over,
+shuddered at the quickie treatment they had given it and turned it
+loose. Things were beginning to develop fast in my lipstick
+department, and I didn't have time to chase the powder thing like I
+should have--since it was my name on the whole damned project.
+
+So I wrote off the money and turned to other things.
+
+We were just hitting the market with Madame Elaine Templeton's
+"Kissmet" when the first smell of smoke came my way. The pixie came
+into my office one morning and congratulated me.
+
+"You're a genius!" she said.
+
+"Like the Kissmet campaign, do you?" I said pleased.
+
+"It stinks," she said holding her nose. "But Atummyc Bath Powder will
+pull you out of the hole."
+
+"Oh, that," I said. "When does it go to market?"
+
+"Done went--a month ago."
+
+"What? Why you haven't had time to get it out of the lab yet. Using a
+foreign substance, you should have had an exhaustive series of allergy
+skin tests on a thousand women before--"
+
+"I've been using it for two months myself," she said. "And look at me!
+See any rashes?"
+
+I focussed my eyes for the first time, and what I saw made me wonder
+if I were losing my memory. The pixie had been a pretty little French
+pastry from the first, but now she positively glowed. Her skin even
+had that "radiant atomic look", right out of our corny, low-budget ad
+copy.
+
+"What--have you done to yourself, fallen in love?"
+
+"With Atummyc After Bath Powder," she said smugly. "And so have the
+ladies. The distributors are all reordering."
+
+Well, these drug sundries houses have some sharp salesmen out, and I
+figured the bath powder must have caught them needing something to
+promote. It was a break. If we got the $25,000 back it wouldn't hurt
+my alibi a bit, in case the Kissmet production failed to click.
+
+Three days later the old man called me from the New York branch of our
+agency. "Big distributor here is hollering about the low budget we've
+given to this Atummyc Bath Powder thing," he said. "He tells me his
+men have punched it hard and he thinks it's catching on pretty big.
+Maybe you better talk the Madame out of a few extra dollars."
+
+"The Old Hag's in Europe," I told him, "and I'm damned if I'll rob the
+Kissmet Lipstick deal any more. It's mostly spent anyway."
+
+The old man didn't like it. When you get the distributors on your side
+it pays to back them up, but I was too nervous about the wobbly first
+returns we were getting on the Kissmet campaign to consider taking
+away any of the unspent budget and throwing it into the bath powder
+deal.
+
+The next day I stared at an order from a west coast wholesaler and
+began to sweat. The pixie fluttered it under my nose. "Two more
+carloads of Atummyc Bath Powder," she gloated.
+
+"Two more _carloads_?"
+
+"Certainly. All the orders are reading _carloads_," she said. "This
+thing has busted wide open."
+
+And it had. Everybody, like I said earlier, lost their head. The
+bath-powder plant was running three shifts and had back-orders chin
+high. The general manager, a joker name of Jennings, got excited,
+cabled Madame Elaine to get back here pronto, which she did, and then
+the panic was on.
+
+The miracle ingredient was this Atummion, and if Atummion sold bath
+powder why wouldn't it sell face-cream, rouge, mud-packs, shampoos,
+finger-nail polish and eye-shadow?
+
+For that matter, the Old Hag wanted to know, why wouldn't it sell
+Kissmet Lipstick?
+
+The answer was, of course, that the magic legend "Contains the
+Exclusive New Beauty Aid, Atummion" _did_ sell these other products.
+Everything began going out in carload lots as soon as we had the new
+labels printed, and to be truthful, I breathed a wondrous sigh of
+relief, because up to that moment my Kissmet campaign had promised to
+fall flat on its lying, crimson face.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The staggering truth about Atummion seeped in slowly. Item one:
+Although we put only a pinch of it in a whole barrel of talcum powder,
+_it did give the female users a terrific_ complexion! Pimples,
+black-heads, warts, freckles and even minor scars disappeared after a
+few weeks, and from the very first application users mailed us
+testimonials swearing to that "atomic feeling of loveliness".
+
+Item two: About one grain of Atummion to the pound of lipstick brought
+out the natural color of a woman's lips and maintained it there _even
+after the lipstick was removed_.
+
+Item three: There never was such a shampoo. For once the ad
+copywriters failed to exceed the merits of their product.
+Atummion-tinted hair took on a sparkling look, a soft texture and a
+_natural-appearing wave_ that set beauty-operators screaming for
+protection.
+
+These beauticians timed their complaint nicely. It got results on the
+morning that the whole thing began to fall to pieces.
+
+About ten A. M. Jennings called a meeting of all people concerned in
+the Atummyc Powder project, and they included me as well as the pixie
+and her brother, the assistant chemist.
+
+Everyone was too flushed with success to take Jennings' opening remark
+too seriously. "It looks like we've got a winner that's about to lose
+us our shirts," he said.
+
+He shuffled some papers and found the one he wanted to hit us with
+first. "The beauticians claim we are dispensing a dangerous drug
+without prescription. They have brought suits to restrain our use."
+
+Madame Elaine in her mannishly tailored suit was standing by a window
+staring out. She said, "The beauticians never gave us any break,
+anyway. Hell with them! What's next?"
+
+Jennings lifted another paper. "I agree, but they sicked the Pure Food
+and Drug people on us. They tend to concur."
+
+"Let them prove it first," the Old Hag said turning to the pixie's
+brother. "Eh, Bob!"
+
+"It's harmless!" he protested, but I noticed that the pixie herself,
+for all her radiance, had a troubled look on her face.
+
+The general manager lifted another paper. "Well, there seems to be
+enough doubt to have caused trouble. The Pure Food and Drug labs have
+by-passed the courts and put in a word to the Atomic Energy
+Commission. The AEC has cut off our supply of the fission salts that
+go into Atummion, pending tests."
+
+That brought us all to our feet. Madame Elaine stalked back to the
+huge conference table and stared at Bob, the chemist. "How much of the
+gunk do we have on hand?"
+
+"About a week's supply at present production rates." He was pale, and
+he swallowed his adam's apple three times.
+
+The worst was yet to come. The pixie looked around the table
+peculiarly unchanged by the news. She had trouble in her face but it
+had been there from the start of the conference. "I wasn't going to
+bring this up just yet," she said, "but since we're here to have a
+good cry I might as well let you kick this one around at the same
+time. Maybe you won't mind shutting down production after all."
+
+The way she said it froze all of us except the Madame.
+
+The Madame said, "Well, speak up! What is it?"
+
+"I've been to twelve different doctors, including eight specialists.
+I've thought and thought until I'm half crazy, and there just isn't
+any other answer," the pixie said.
+
+She stared at us and clenched her fists and beat on the shiny table.
+"You've got to believe me! There just isn't _any_ other answer.
+Atummion is responsible for my condition, and all twelve doctors
+agreed on my condition."
+
+Still standing, Madame Elaine Templeton grabbed the back of her chair
+until her knuckles turned white. "Don't tell me the stuff brings on
+hives or something!"
+
+The pixie threw back her head and a near-hysterical laugh throbbed
+from her lovely throat. "Hives, hell. I'm pregnant!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Well, we were all very sorry for her, because she was unmarried, and
+that sort of thing is always clumsy. At that moment, however, none of
+us believed the connection between her condition and Atummion.
+
+Being a distant relative of the Madame, she was humored to the extent
+that we had the lab get some guinea pigs and douse them with Elaine
+Templeton's After Bath Powder, and they even professed to make a daily
+check on them.
+
+Meanwhile, production ground to a halt on all Atummion-labelled
+products, which was everything, I think, but the eyebrow pencils.
+
+With every drug-store and department store in the country screaming to
+have their orders filled, it was a delicate matter and took a lot of
+string-pulling to keep the thing off the front-pages. It wasn't the
+beautician's open charges that bothered us, because everyone knew they
+were just disgruntled. But if it leaked out that the AEC was disturbed
+enough to cut off our fission products, every radio, newspaper and TV
+commentator in the business would soon make mince-meat of us over the
+fact that Atummion had not been adequately tested before marketing.
+And this was so right!
+
+We took our chances and submitted honest samples to the Bureau of
+Weights and Measures and the Pure Food and Drug labs. And held our
+breath.
+
+The morning the first report came back in our favor there was great
+rejoicing, but that afternoon our own testing lab sent up a man to see
+Jennings, and he called me instantly.
+
+"Sanford, get up here at once. The guinea pigs just threw five litters
+of babies!"
+
+"Congratulations," I told him. "That happens with guinea pigs, I
+understand."
+
+"You _don't_ understand," he thundered at me. "This was test group
+F-six, all females, and every one has reached maturity since we bought
+and segregated them."
+
+"There must be some mistake," I said.
+
+"There better be," he told me.
+
+I went to his office and together we picked up the Madame from her
+penthouse suite. She followed us into the elevator reluctantly.
+"Absurd, absurd!" was all she could say.
+
+We watched the lab man check the ten adult pigs one by one. Even as
+inexpert as I am in such matters, it was evident that all ten were
+females, and the five which had not yet participated in blessed events
+were but hours from becoming mothers.
+
+We went our separate ways stunned. Back in my office I pulled out a
+list of our big wholesale accounts where the Atummion products had
+been shipped by the carloads. The warehouses were distributed in every
+state of the union.
+
+Then I ran my eye down the list of products which contained the
+devilish Atummion. There were thirty-eight, in all, including a
+complete line of men's toiletries, shaving lotion, shampoo, deodorant
+and body-dusting powder. I thanked God that men didn't have ovaries.
+
+Dolores Donet--that was the pixie's name--opened my door and deposited
+herself gingerly in a chair opposite me.
+
+I said, "You look radiant."
+
+She said, "Don't rub it in, and I'll have a shot of that." I shared my
+Haig and Haig with her, and we drank to the newly departed bottom of
+the world.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+My secretary tried to give me a list of people who had phoned and a
+stack of angry telegrams about back-orders, but I waved her away.
+"Dolores," I said, "there must have been a boy guinea pig loose in
+that pen. It's just too fantastic!"
+
+"Are you accusing me of turning one loose just to get off the hook
+myself?" she snapped.
+
+"What you've got, excuses won't cure," I told her, "but we've got to
+get facts. My God, if you're right--"
+
+"We've sworn everyone to secrecy," she said. "There's a $10,000 bonus
+posted for each employee who knows about this. Payable when the
+statute of limitations runs out on possible litigation."
+
+"You can't swear the public to secrecy," I said.
+
+"Think a minute," she said, coldly. "The married women don't need
+excuses, and the single girls--who'll believe them? Half of them or
+better, have guilty consciences anyway. The rest? They're in the same
+boat I was--without a labful of guinea pigs to back them up."
+
+"But--how did it happen in the first place?"
+
+"Bob has been consulting the biologist we retained. He keeps asking
+the same question. He says parthenogenesis in higher lifeforms is
+virtually impossible. Bob keeps pointing at the little pigs, and
+they're going round and round. They're examining the other eleven test
+pens now, but there's no question in my mind. I have a personal stake
+in this experiment, and I was very careful to supervise the
+segregation of males and females."
+
+My sanity returned in one glorious rush. _There was the bugger
+factor!_ _Dolores, herself._
+
+In her eagerness to clear her own skirts, Dolores had tampered with
+the integrity of the experiment. Probably, she had arranged for
+artificial insemination, just to be sure. The tip-off was the hundred
+percent pregnancy of one whole test-batch. Ten out of ten. Even if one
+buck had slipped in inadvertently, and someone was covering up the
+mistake, why you wouldn't expect anything like a 100% "take".
+
+"Dolores," I said, "you are a naughty girl in more ways than one."
+
+She got up and refilled her glass shaking her head. "The
+ever-suspicious male," she said. "Don't you understand? I'm not
+trying to dodge my responsibility for my condition. The whole mess is
+my fault from beginning to end. But what kind of a heel will I be if
+we get clearance from the AEC and start shipping out Atummyc products
+again--knowing what I do? What's more, if we let the stuff float
+around indefinitely, someone is going to run comprehensive tests on
+it, not just allergy test patches like they're doing at the government
+labs right now."
+
+"Yeah," I said, "so we all bury the hottest promotion that ever hit
+the cosmetics industry and live happily ever after."
+
+She hit the deck and threw her whiskey glass at me, which did nothing
+to convince me that she wasn't telling the tallest tale of the
+century--to be conservative.
+
+We sat and glared at each other for a few minutes. Finally she said,
+"You're going to get proof, and damned good proof any minute now."
+
+"How so?" Nothing this experiment revealed would be valid to me, I
+figured, now that I was convinced she had deliberately fouled it up.
+
+"Bob and the biologist should be up here any minute. I told them I'd
+wait in your office. I know something you don't, I'm just waiting for
+them to verify it."
+
+She was much too confident, and I began to get worried again. We
+waited for ten minutes, fifteen, twenty. I picked up the phone and
+dialed the lab.
+
+The woman assistant answered and said that the two men were on the way
+up right now. I asked, "What have they been doing down there?"
+
+She said, "They've been doing Caesarian sections on the animals in
+test-pen M-four."
+
+"Caesarian sections?" I repeated. She affirmed it, and Dolores Donet
+got a tight, little, humorless smile on her face. I hung up and said,
+"They're on their way up, and what's so funny?"
+
+She said, "You know what I think? I think you've been using Atummyc
+products on you."
+
+"So what?" I demanded. "I was responsible for this campaign, too. I've
+been waiting for a rash to develop almost as long as you have."
+
+She said, "When Bob comes in, look at his complexion. All three of us
+have been guinea pigs, I guess."
+
+"I still don't see what's so damned amusing."
+
+She said, "You still don't tumble, eh? All right, I'll spell it out.
+Caesarians performed on test batch M-four."
+
+"So?"
+
+"The 'M' stands for male," she said.
+
+She timed it just right. The hall door opened and Bob trailed in with
+a dazed look. The biologist was half holding him up. His white
+lab-smock was freshly blood-stained, and his eyes were blank and
+unseeing.
+
+But for all his distress, he was still a good looking young fellow.
+His skin had that lovely, radiant, atomic look--just like mine.
+
+                                                            ... THE END
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Breeder Reaction, by Winston Marks
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BREEDER REACTION ***
+
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