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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of That Mother-in-Law of Mine, by Anonymous
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: That Mother-in-Law of Mine
+
+Author: Anonymous
+
+Release Date: October 16, 2009 [EBook #30270]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THAT MOTHER-IN-LAW OF MINE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Irma Spehar, Markus Brenner and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                          THAT MOTHER-IN-LAW
+                                  OF
+                                 MINE.
+
+
+                     "BE TO HER VIRTUES VERY KIND,
+                   BE TO HER FAULTS A LITTLE BLIND."
+
+
+                             PHILADELPHIA:
+                      THE KEYSTONE PUBLISHING CO.
+                                 1889.
+
+
+
+                               COPYRIGHT
+                    BY JOHN E. POTTER AND COMPANY,
+                                 1879
+
+
+
+                               Dedicated
+                          TO ALL THOSE HAVING
+                            MOTHERS-IN-LAW
+                         OR EXPECTING TO HAVE.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+
+CHAPTER                                              Page
+
+   I. BESSIE AND I AND BESSIE'S MOTHER                  7
+
+  II. COURTING THE MOTHER                              15
+
+ III. OUR MARRIAGE                                     28
+
+  IV. MOUNTAINS AND MORE MOTHER-IN-LAW                 37
+
+   V. THE RISE AND FALL                                50
+
+  VI. WHAT IS HOME WITHOUT A MOTHER-IN-LAW?            71
+
+ VII. MISS VAN'S PARTY AND ANOTHER UNPLEASANTNESS      84
+
+VIII. ANOTHER CHARLIE IN THE FIELD                     98
+
+  IX. THE SHADOW ON OUR LIFE                           108
+
+   X. MY MOTHER-IN-LAW SUBDUED                         115
+
+  XI. GEORGE'S NEW DEPARTURE                           123
+
+ XII. BABY TALK, OLD DIVES, AND OTHER THINGS           138
+
+XIII. A SURPRISE                                       150
+
+ XIV. A HAPPY PROSPECT                                 158
+
+
+
+
+MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+BESSIE AND I AND BESSIE'S MOTHER.
+
+
+"Why, Charlie, you sha'n't talk so about my mother! I won't allow it."
+
+"It does sound a little rough, my dear; but I can't help it. She does
+exasperate me so. She doesn't show a proper deference for your husband,
+my dear. We are married now, and she ought to give up her objections to
+me. I can't be expected to place myself in her leading strings."
+
+"But you mustn't demand too much at once, and should try to conciliate
+her. Now do, for my sake; won't you, dear?"
+
+Here we were, only a month married, and spending our honeymoon at a most
+charming summer resort, where there was no excuse for getting out of
+patience. Everything was beautiful and attractive: Little hotel,
+strange to say, quite delightful; no fault to find with surroundings and
+accommodations; my darling Bessie, as sweet as an angel and determined
+to be happy and to make me happy; everything, in short, calculated to
+give us a long summer of delight.
+
+That is, if Bessie had only been an orphan. But there was her mother,
+who had joined us on our summer trip, after the first two weeks of
+unalloyed happiness, and threatened to accompany us through life.
+Already it almost made the prospect dismal. The idea that Bessie and I
+would ever quarrel, or even have any impatient words together, had
+seemed to me to be simply ridiculous. I had seen what I had seen. My
+dashing friend, Fred, and his stylish wife,--they had been married two
+years, and a visible coldness had come upon them. I knew, by an
+occasional angry whisper and knitting of the brow before people, that he
+must sometimes swear and rave in the privacy of their own rooms, and her
+cutting replies or haughty indifference showed that there had been a
+deal of love lost between them in those two years.
+
+Other people, too, got indifferent or downright hostile in their
+marital relations. But then, I was not a dashing fellow and Bessie was
+not stylish, and in other ways we were quite different from most people.
+Ours had been a real love-match from the first. Bessie was simple and
+unaffected, honest and pure in every thought, and determined to make me
+a faithful and loving wife till death did us part. As for me, why, of
+course I was generous and affectionate, ready to make any sacrifice and
+bear any burden for the trusting creature who had so freely given
+herself into my keeping. There should be no clouds to darken her life. I
+would never be selfish or impatient, or for one moment hurt her gentle
+heart by heedless act or careless word.
+
+But plague upon it! I could not get on with her mother; and here I was,
+before our summer holiday was over, and before we had settled down to
+that home life in which trouble and annoyance must needs come, getting
+out of patience and saying cruel things; and there was Bessie, sitting
+in the summer twilight with a light shawl drawn over her shoulders,
+pouting her pretty lips with vexation, and digging the toes of her
+little boots into the balustrade in front of us, because I had expressed
+a pious wish that her mother was in Jericho. I declare, if there weren't
+tears gathering in her gentle blue eyes!
+
+I was angry with myself, and, putting my arm around her slender waist, I
+laid my cheek against hers and said soothingly, "Never mind, darling! I
+didn't mean it. Don't think any more about it."
+
+But as we sat for the next five minutes without saying a word, I
+couldn't help pondering on the possibilities of the future, for Mrs.
+Pinkerton was to live with us. That was one of the understood conditions
+of our bargain, and it was evident that she was to furnish the test of
+all my good resolutions.
+
+Mrs. Pinkerton had been left a widow when Bessie was twelve years old,
+with a neat little cottage in the suburbs of the city and a snug
+competence in a secure investment. I was fairly settled in business,
+with an income that would enable us to live in modest comfort, and was
+determined not to disturb the investment or have it drawn upon in any
+way for household expenses. But the old lady--I already began to speak
+of her by that disrespectful epithet, although she was still under
+fifty--was to live with us. I had readily acquiesced in that
+arrangement, for was it not my darling's wish? And I could not decently
+make any objection, for it was mighty convenient to have a pretty
+cottage, ready furnished, in one of the finest suburbs of the city in
+which I was employed.
+
+Mrs. Pinkerton was a good woman in her way: how could she be anything
+else and the mother of such an angel as I had secured for my wife? She
+meant well, of course; I admitted that, and I ought to be on the
+pleasantest terms with her, and determined from the first that I would
+be. But somehow we were not congenial, and when that is the case the
+best people in the world find it hard to get along agreeably together.
+
+The course of true love between Bessie and me had run very smooth. From
+the moment my old school-fellow, her brother George, now in Paris
+studying medicine, had introduced me to her, I had been completely won
+by her sweet disposition and charming ways, and she in turn was
+captivated by my manly independence, strong good sense, and generous
+impulses. I am not vain, but the truth is the truth; and, as I am
+telling this story myself, I must set down the facts. We fell in love
+right away, and it was not long before we were mutually convinced that
+we were made expressly for each other and could never be happy apart.
+
+So it happened that I had to do the courting with the mother. She was
+the one to be won over, and it was not likely to be an easy task, for I
+plainly saw that she did not quite approve of me. When I was first
+introduced to her, she looked at me with her great, steady blue eyes, as
+if analyzing me to the very boots, and evidently set me down as a
+somewhat arrogant and self-sufficient young fellow who needed a
+judicious course of discipline to teach him humility. I was generally
+self-possessed and had no little confidence in myself, but I confess
+that I was embarrassed in her presence. She was not at all like Bessie,
+I thought. She had taught school in her youth, and had learned to
+command and be obeyed. The late Mr. Pinkerton, I fancied, had found it
+useless to contend against her authority, and this had increased her
+disposition to carry things her own way; and her seven years' widowhood,
+with its independence and self-reliance, had not prepared her to be
+submissive to the wishes of others.
+
+Still, she loved her daughter with tender devotion, and her chief
+anxiety was to have her every wish gratified. Therein was my advantage,
+for I knew that Bessie, gentle and trusting as she was, would never give
+me up or allow her life to be happy without the gratification of her
+first love. So I set to work confidently to make myself agreeable to the
+widow and win her consent to our marriage.
+
+"You must bring mamma around to approve of it," Bessie had said, on that
+ever-to-be-remembered evening, when we were returning from a long drive,
+and after an hour of sweet confidences she had surrendered herself
+without reserve to my future keeping. "She is the best mother in the
+world, and loves me very much, but she is peculiar in some ways, and I
+am afraid she doesn't altogether like you. I would not for the world
+displease her, that is, if I could help it," she added, glancing up, as
+much as to say, "It is all settled now forever and forevermore, whatever
+may befall, but do get my mother to consent to it with a good grace."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+COURTING THE MOTHER.
+
+
+Mrs. Pinkerton sat in an easy-chair near the window, doing nothing, when
+I marched in to begin the siege. I felt diffident and uneasy, although I
+am not usually troubled that way. But if I should live to the advanced
+age of Methusaleh, I could never forget Mrs. Pinkerton's appearance on
+that memorable occasion. Before I had spoken a word I saw that she knew
+what was coming, and had hardened her heart against me. She had
+anticipated all that I would say, had discounted my plea, as it were,
+and prejudged the whole case. Her look plainly said: "Young man, I know
+your pitiful story. You needn't tell me. You may be very well as young
+men go, you fancy you can more than fill a mother's place in Bessie's
+inexperienced heart, but you can't get me out. I am Adamant. Your
+intentions are all very honorable, but you are a graceless intruder.
+Your credentials are rejected on sight." I saw the difficult task I had
+undertaken. "Mrs. Pinkerton," I said, mustering all my forces, "it is no
+use mincing the matter, or beating about the shrubbery. I am in love
+with your daughter, and Bessie is in love with me. I believe I can make
+Bessie happy, and am sure nothing but Bessie can make me happy. I have
+come to ask your consent to our marriage." Then I hung my head like a
+whipped school-boy.
+
+Mrs. Pinkerton took off her eye-glasses, and then put them on again with
+considerable care; after which she leveled a look at me and through me
+that made me feel like calling out "Murder!" or making for the door. But
+I stood my ground, and heard her say quietly,--
+
+"So you are engaged to my daughter?"
+
+A simple remark, but the tone meant "You are a puppy." I had to muster
+all my resolution to reply politely and coolly that, with her gracious
+consent, such was the fact.
+
+"Are you aware that it is customary to obtain parental consent before
+proceeding to such lengths?"
+
+"Mrs. Pinkerton, excuse me. I thought in my ignorance that it would be
+just as well to do that afterwards; or rather, I didn't think anything
+about it. I was so much in love with Bessie that it was all out before I
+knew it. If I had thought, of course I would have--"
+
+"Yes, yes," said Mrs. Pinkerton, "if your kind of people ever thought,
+they would undoubtedly do differently. Bessie certainly ought to know
+better. Girls rush into matrimony now-a-days with as much carelessness
+as they would choose partners at a game of croquet. I should have been
+consulted in this. It is all wrong to allow young people to have such
+entire freedom in affairs of this kind as they are allowed in these
+days."
+
+"But certainly, my dear Mrs. Pinkerton," I said, becoming somewhat
+impatient, "you will not refuse your consent in this case? Bessie's
+happiness--that is, the happiness of all of us, or--our
+happiness--Bessie's and mine, I would say--"
+
+"No doubt your happiness is very important to yourself, Mr. Travers,
+and as to my daughter's well-being, I have looked to that for quite a
+number of years past, and I flatter myself I shall be able to look out
+for it in the future."
+
+"Not if you insist on parting us!" I cried, getting out of patience and
+letting all my carefully prepared plans of assault go by the board. "You
+may withhold your consent, but that cannot prevent our loving each
+other!"
+
+"Of course not. Nothing on earth can prevent young people who are in
+love from making themselves ridiculous. But getting married and living
+together soon cures them of sentimentalism."
+
+"Won't you give us that chance to be cured then, my dear Mrs.
+Pinkerton?" I exclaimed, regaining a little tact.
+
+She seemed to be taking it under advisement, and my courage came up a
+little. Then, looking at me with her peculiarly searching gaze, she
+said, "It isn't necessary to argue the case; I know all you would say.
+You love Bessie to distraction; you could not live without her; your
+heart would be hopelessly broken if you had to give her up; you will be
+true to her forever and a day; you offer her all of the good things of
+this world that any sane woman could desire, besides which you throw in
+an eternal, undying devotion; and so on, to the end of the chapter. We
+will consider that all said, and so save time and trouble. You think
+that ought to end the matter and bring me to your way of thinking. I
+wonder at the effrontery of young men, who walk into our households and
+carelessly tell us mothers what is best for our children, and assure us,
+between their puffs of tobacco smoke, that a case of three weeks'
+moonshining outweighs the devotion of a lifetime."
+
+I began to see what course was open for me. The old lady was jealous,
+and I could not blame her. Her objections were general, not specific.
+Strategy must take the place of a direct assault. There flashed through
+my mind the ridiculous old nonsense rhyme quotation,--
+
+    "I must soften the heart of this terrible cow."
+
+I said gently, "I can readily see how a mother must regard the claims of
+the man who comes to her demanding her most precious treasure; and what
+you say makes me feel how presumptuous my demand must seem. I love your
+daughter--that must be my only excuse. And after all, what has happened
+was only what a mother must expect. Your daughter's love will not be the
+less yours because she also loves the man of her choice. That she should
+love and be loved was inevitable."
+
+"We will not go into the discussion any further," she interrupted. "I
+don't wish to say anything uncomplimentary of you personally, but I
+simply am not prepared to give my daughter up at present. My opinion of
+men in general is good, so long as they do not interfere with me or
+mine."
+
+(Mental note: "May there be precious little interference between us!")
+
+"Your judgment is doubtless good," I said, smiling; "but there are
+exceptions which prove the rule, and I hope you will find that even I
+will improve upon acquaintance."
+
+"Your conceit is abominable, young man."
+
+"Thank you. I have found no one who could flatter me except myself, so I
+lose no opportunity to give myself a good character."
+
+"Especially in addressing the mother of the woman you wish to marry,
+eh?"
+
+"Precisely, as she is naturally prejudiced against me. My dear Mrs.
+Pinkerton, what must I do to please you?"
+
+"Hold your tongue!"
+
+"Anything but that. You admit that I am a good fellow enough, and that
+Bessie would probably marry some one in course of time. Now, I don't see
+why you cannot make us both happy by giving your consent. It costs you a
+pang to do it. I honor you for that. Give me the right to console you."
+
+"By making myself an object of pity? No, not yet, not yet. I must, at
+least, have time to think."
+
+I inwardly cursed my luck. How long was this sort of thing going to
+last? I was about to rise and take my leave, when an inspiration struck
+me.
+
+"Mrs. Pinkerton," I said gravely, "what you have said of the ties that
+exist between you and your daughter has touched me deeply. I believe we
+young people do not half appreciate a mother's unchanging love. It lies
+so far beneath the surface that we are too apt to forget its constant
+blessing. My mother died when I was very young. Ah, if she were only
+here now, to plead my cause for me!"
+
+With these words, I turned on my heel and hastily got out of the room. I
+went into the garden and lighted a cigar, the better to think over the
+situation. I could not determine what progress, if any, I had made in
+the good graces of Mrs. Pinkerton. While I was cogitating, Bessie came
+out and approached me with an inquiring look. I am afraid my returning
+glance did not greatly reassure her. As she came up and took my arm, she
+said,--
+
+"Well?"
+
+"Well! No, it's not very well. I am beaten, my dear. Your mother is
+simply a stony-hearted parent!"
+
+"What did she say?"
+
+"Oh, she wants you to grow up an old maid--as if such a thing were
+possible!--and says that lovers have no idea of what a mean, cruel thing
+it is to rob people of only daughters; and that she shall require time
+to think of it. What do you think of that?"
+
+Bessie knitted her pretty brows, and dug her toes into the walk.
+
+"Perhaps I had better go to her?" she said.
+
+"Of course you must. But I know it won't be of any use just yet. We
+must, as she says, give her time. She will come around all right at the
+end of nine or ten years. The fact is, Bessie, she's a little bit
+jealous of me and regards me as an intruder."
+
+"Poor, dear mamma!" said Bessie, her eyes becoming moist.
+
+"Poor, dear pussy-cat! You should have seen her shoot me with her eyes
+and ridicule my honest sentiment. She used me roughly, my dear, and I
+can't help wondering at my amazing politeness to her."
+
+Bessie was not discouraged. She had several interviews with her mother,
+in which protestations, tears, smiles, and coaxings played a part, but
+there was no apparent change of heart on the part of the old lady, after
+all. I don't know how long this disagreeable state of affairs would have
+continued under ordinary circumstances, had not an unexpected,
+thrilling, and, as it happened, fortunate occurrence hastened a crisis
+and brought an end to the siege. It was a very singular thing, and it
+seemed to have been pre-arranged to bring me glory, and, what was
+better, the desired goodwill of the "stony-hearted parent."
+
+If there was any one thing that the worthy Mrs. Pinkerton detested more
+than men and tobacco, that thing was a burglar. Add fear to detestation,
+and you will see that when I defended the old lady from the attentions
+of a burglar, I had taken a long step into her good graces.
+
+It was a week after the interview narrated above, and in the early
+summer, Mrs. Pinkerton had gone down to a quiet sea-side resort for a
+short stay, thinking to get away from me; but I was not to be put off
+so. I followed her, taking a room at the same hotel.
+
+About one o'clock at night, the particular burglar to whom I owe so
+much, effected an entrance into the hotel through a basement window, and
+quietly made his way up stairs. Every one was asleep except myself, and
+I was planning all sorts of expedients to conquer the prejudices of my
+mother-in-law that was to be. Mrs. Pinkerton's room opened on a long
+corridor, near the end of which my modest seven-by-nine snuggery was
+situated. It was a warm night, and the transoms over the doors of almost
+all the bed-chambers had been left open to admit the air. A gleam of
+light from a dark-lantern, coming through my transom, was what led me to
+hastily don a pair of trousers and take my revolver from my valise. Then
+I opened my door very cautiously, without having struck a light, and
+could see--nothing! I waited a few moments, almost holding my breath. At
+the end of those few moments I could make out the form of a man swarming
+over the top of the door of Mrs. Pinkerton's room. His head and
+shoulders were already inside the room, and I could see his legs wriggle
+about as he noiselessly wormed his way through the narrow transom. It
+took me but a brief second of time to glide forward on tiptoe and mount
+the same chair which had been used by the intruder in climbing to the
+transom. This done, I seized both the wriggling legs simultaneously, and
+gave a tremendous pull.
+
+My excitement must have imbued me with double my natural strength, and
+the result of that pull was simply indescribable. Burglar,
+transom-glass, chair and all, went in a heap on the floor of the
+corridor, producing the most appalling and unearthly racket conceivable.
+The whole house was in an uproar in a moment. People seemed to spring up
+from every square foot of floor in the corridor as if by magic. Cries of
+"Fire!" "Murder!" "Help!" and screams of frightened women, rose on every
+hand. The costumes which I beheld on that momentous occasion were not
+only varied but exceedingly amusing and picturesque as well. The
+assembled multitude found nothing to interest them, however. I alone was
+to be seen, seated on a broken chair, with a rapidly swelling black eye,
+while broken glass and an extinguished lantern lay on the floor. I told
+the male guests what had happened. The burglar had not waited to ask for
+my card, but had contented himself with planting one blow from the
+shoulder on my left eye, before I could get upon my legs. And my
+revolver. Well, I had not had the ghost of a chance to use it. It was in
+my pocket. Fifteen minutes after the fracas, Mrs. Pinkerton came to my
+room, completely dressed, and insisted upon coming in to hear all about
+it and to overwhelm me with thanks and admiration. I was as modest as
+heroes proverbially are, and then and there told her never to refer to
+the subject again unless she addressed me as Bessie's betrothed.
+
+We went riding together, Bessie, Mrs. Pinkerton, and I, the day after
+this episode; and without any previous indication of an approaching
+thaw, that singular old lady began to talk freely about what should be
+worn at "the wedding," referring to it as though she had been the
+principal agent in bringing it about.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+OUR MARRIAGE.
+
+
+So it was that I brought my darling's mother around to consent, if not
+with a very good grace, still with apparent cheerfulness, and she at
+once took the direction of the nuptial preparations. I made a show of
+consulting her about many things, but she invariably gave me to
+understand that her experience and superior knowledge in such matters
+were not to be gainsaid. I was willing to leave to her all the fuss and
+frippery of preparing clothes for her daughter. It always seemed to me
+that she had clothes enough, and clothes that were good enough for
+married life. I couldn't understand why a young woman, on becoming a
+wife, should need a lot of new and elaborate dresses, such as she had
+never worn and never cared to wear, and an endless variety of
+under-garments of mysterious and incomprehensible make, with frills and
+fringes and laces and edgings, as if, up to that time, she had never had
+anything next to her precious person, except what was visible to the
+exterior world. And even assuming that she donned these things for the
+first time as parts of a manifold and complicated wedding garment, why
+should so much fine needle-work and delicate trimming be prepared to be
+stowed away out of sight of prying mortals, for whose vision women are
+presumed to dress themselves? Are they got up to show to friends and
+excite envy, and to fill the minds of other young people with a sense of
+the difficulties of getting married?
+
+One day, when I happened in,--by accident, of course,--and the mother
+happened to be out on one of her many pilgrimages to town, Bessie took
+me up to her room in a half-frightened way, as if doing something that
+she was afraid was terribly improper, and showed me a bewildering
+profusion of these things, neatly tucked away in bureau drawers. I
+laughed outright, and asked her who was to see all that finery. She was
+vexed and bit her lip, and I was sorry and voted myself a brute. From
+that moment, I determined not to say a word about the clothes, except to
+express unstinted admiration.
+
+There was not only clothing, but blankets and quilts and bed linen,
+though we were to live in her old home, which was already well supplied.
+One would suppose that a large and sudden increase of family was
+expected at once. These things annoyed me as senseless, and as absorbing
+so much of my Bessie's attention that we didn't have half the blissful
+times together that we had before our engagement was an acknowledged
+thing. But I knew that it was the mother's doings. Bessie did not really
+have any foolish care for dress, though always beautifully arrayed
+without any apparent effort; but she supposed it was the proper thing,
+and submitted to her mother.
+
+But there was one thing I set my heart on. I wanted a quiet wedding,
+without display or pretence. It did seem to me that this was a private
+occasion in which the wishes of the persons chiefly concerned should be
+consulted. It was their business and should be conducted in their own
+way. Bessie sympathized with me, and wanted of all things to go to
+church quietly and privately, and then, after a leave-taking with a few
+intimate friends at home, start right off on our proposed trip to the
+White Mountains. But no; we were inexperienced, and the widow knew what
+the occasion demanded much better than we did. She was a little grand in
+her ideas, and felt the importance of keeping on good terms with
+society. I was disposed to apply profane epithets to society, and to
+insist that this marriage was mine and Bessie's, and nobody's else. But
+what was the use? There would be unpleasant feelings, and the mamma must
+be conciliated, and so I yielded after a warm but altogether
+affectionate little controversy with Bessie.
+
+Every time I came to the house now, I was informed of some new feature
+which Mrs. P. had decided upon as indispensable to the gorgeousness of
+the occasion.
+
+"Have you ordered your dress suit yet?" she asked one evening.
+
+"Dress suit? Oh yes. I had almost forgotten that."
+
+"And, by the way, those cards? I think you had better send them out:
+you write such a good, legible hand."
+
+"Y-e-s, oh yes. With pleasure."
+
+"When you go to the city to-morrow, I wish you would drop in at Draper's
+and get me a few little things. I have made out a list, so it won't be
+any trouble to you."
+
+"No trouble at all. Glad to do it."
+
+"That white ribbon should be medium width. And before I forget it, have
+you written yet to your friend De Forest about his standing up?"
+
+"No, I forgot it. I'll drop him a line to-morrow. But what do you want
+that ribbon to be so long for?"
+
+"That is to be held across the aisle by the ushers, you know, to keep
+off the _ignobile vulgus_. You and Bessie will march up _here_, you see,
+preceded by the four ushers and the bridesmaids and groomsmen, who will
+then range themselves off this way. The members of the families and the
+friends will be separated from the other people _thus_. It's very
+pretty. Belle Graham was married that way at St. Thomas's, and everybody
+said it was splendid."
+
+This is the kind of talk I had to listen to for weeks, and is it any
+wonder that I grew thin and had sleepless nights?
+
+I was now a mere puppet in the hands of Mrs. Pinkerton, and came and
+went as she pulled the wires. She had arranged that the affair was to
+take place in "her church"--and a very fashionable temple of worship it
+was. Her rector was to officiate, assisted by the vealy young man who
+had just graduated from the theological seminary. There were to be four
+bridesmaids and an equal number of groomsmen and of ushers. I should
+have liked to have something to say about who should "stand up" with us,
+as Mrs. Pinkerton expressed it; but when I timidly suggested that some
+of my friends would be available for the purpose, I was taken aback to
+learn that the entire list had been made up and decided upon without my
+knowledge, and that only one of the groomsmen chosen was a friend of
+mine,--De Forest,--the others being young men whom the worthy Mrs.
+Pinkerton had selected from her list of society people. One of the young
+men was a downright fool, if I must call things by their right names,
+but he dressed to perfection; the remaining two I scarcely knew by
+sight, but I did know that one of them had seen the time when he aspired
+to occupy the place I was now filling in respect to the Pinkerton
+household: need I say more concerning my sentiments regarding him?
+
+The ushers,--well, of course, they were the four young gentlemen who
+knew everybody who was anybody, and I could not object to them,
+considering that they charged nothing for their onerous services.
+
+The bridesmaids were all old school friends of Bessie's, and two of them
+were considered pretty, and the other two were stylish.
+
+One of my keenest regrets was that Bessie's brother George was away off
+in Paris, and could not grace the occasion with his superb presence; for
+he was a superb fellow in all respects, and I felt a true brotherly
+affection for him. Had he not introduced me to Bessie? Had he not always
+wanted me to become his brother-in-law?
+
+The great day came at last. The town was full of the invited people, and
+the weather, so anxiously looked to on such occasions, was all that
+could be desired. My remembrance of the solemn events of that day is
+now rather misty. I remember the tussle De Forest and I had with my
+collar and cravat in the morning, and how he stuck pins into my neck,
+and wrestled mightily with his own elaborate toilet. I remember, and
+this very distinctly, how awfully tight were my new patent-leather
+boots, which caused me for the time being the most excruciating anguish.
+Beyond these, and similar minor things which have a way of sticking in
+the memory, all the rest is very much like a vivid dream. The close
+carriage whirling through the streets; a great crush of people, with
+here and there a familiar, smiling face; Bessie in her wedding-dress of
+white silk, with her long veil and twining garlands of orange blossoms;
+the bridesmaids, radiant in tarletan, with pretty blue bows and sashes;
+the long aisle, up which we marched with slow and reverent tread; the
+pealing measures of the Wedding Chorus; the dignified and fatherly
+clergyman; the vealy young assistant; the unction of the slowly intoned
+words of the marriage-service; the fumbling for the ring,--and through
+it all there rises, as out of a mist, the face of my mother-in-law, the
+presiding genius of it all, the unknown quantity in the equation of my
+married life, now begun amid the felicitations, more or less sincere, of
+a host of kissing, hand-shaking, smiling, chattering, good-natured
+aunts, uncles, cousins, and relatives of all degrees.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+MOUNTAINS AND MORE MOTHER-IN-LAW.
+
+
+So the bells were rung, metaphorically speaking, and we were wed. I had
+a long leave of absence from the banking-house in which I held a
+responsible and confidential position, and we started for the mountains,
+leaving mamma Pinkerton to put things to rights and follow us in a
+fortnight, when we had decided to settle down for a month's quiet stay
+in a picturesque town of the mountain region. Oh, the unrestrained joy
+of that fortnight! Everybody at the hotels seemed to know by instinct
+that we were a newly-married pair, and knowing glances passed between
+them. But what did we care? With pride and a conscious embarrassment
+that made my hand tremble, I wrote on the registers in a bold hand
+"Charles Travers and wife." I asked for the best room with a pleasant
+out-look. The smiling clerk, trained to dissimulation, would appear as
+unconscious as the blank safe behind him, but he knew all the while, the
+sly rascal, that we were on a wedding trip, and he paid special
+attention to our comfort. We saw the glories and wonders of the
+mountains, and shared their inspiration as with a single heart. We rose
+early to drink the clear air and greet the rising sun together. We
+strolled out in the evening to romantic spots, and there, with arms
+around each other, as we walked or stood gazing on the scene and
+listening to the rustling breeze, we were happy. For two weeks our lives
+blended with each other and with nature, and it was with a sigh that we
+mounted the lumbering stage to take up our sojourn in the retired town
+on the hills. We came to the little hotel just at night, and were stared
+at and commented upon by those who had been there three days and assumed
+the air of having had possession for years. We were tired, and kept
+aloof that evening, and the next day mother-in-law arrived.
+
+As she dismounted from the coach, she gave the driver a severe warning
+to be careful of her trunk, an iron-bound treasure that would have
+defied the efforts of the most determined baggage-smasher. Bessie had
+flown to meet her, and their greeting was affectionate; but to me the
+old lady presented a hand encased in a mitt, or sort of glove with
+amputated fingers, and gave me a stately, "I hope you are well, sir,"
+that rather made me feel sick. She looked full at me in her steady and
+commanding way, as much as to say, "Well, you have committed no
+atrocious crime yet, I suppose; but I am rather surprised at it."
+
+If there is anything I pride myself on, it is self-possession and a
+willingness to face anybody and give as good as I get, but that
+magnificently imperious way of looking with those large eyes always
+disconcerted me. I could not brace myself enough to meet them with any
+show of impudence, though the old lady had not ceased to regard that as
+the chief trait of my character. As Mrs. Pinkerton trod with stately
+step the rude piazza of that summer hotel, she put her eye-glasses on
+and surveyed its occupants with a look that made them shrink into
+themselves and feel ashamed to be sitting about in that idle way. I
+believe the old lady's eyesight was good enough, and that she used her
+glasses, with their gold bows and the slender chain with which they were
+suspended about her neck, for effect. I noticed that if they were not on
+she always put them on to look at anything, and if they happened to be
+on she took them off for the same purpose.
+
+"Well," she said, going into the little parlor, and looking from the
+windows, "this really seems to be a fine situation. The view of the
+mountains is quite grand."
+
+"Very kind of you to approve of the mountains, but you could give them
+points on grandeur," I thought; but I merely remarked, "We find it quite
+pleasant here."
+
+She turned and glanced at me without reply, as much as to say, "Who
+addressed you, sir? You would do well to speak when you are spoken to."
+I was abashed, but was determined to do the agreeable so far as I could,
+in spite of the rebuke of those eyes.
+
+"The house doesn't seem to me to be very attractive," she continued,
+glancing around with a gaze that took in everything through all the
+partition walls, and assuming a tone that meant, "I am speaking to you,
+Bessie, and no one else." "What sort of people are there here?"
+
+"Oh, some very pleasant people, I should judge," said Bessie, "but we
+have been here only one day, you know, and have made no acquaintances to
+speak of. Charlie's friend, Fred Marston, from the city, is here with
+his wife; and I met a young lady to whom I took quite a fancy this
+morning, a Miss Van Duzen. She is quite wealthy, and an orphan, and is
+here with her uncle, a fine-looking gentleman, who is president of a
+bank, or an insurance company, or some thing of the sort. You saw him, I
+think, on the piazza,--the large man, with gray side-whiskers, white
+vest, and heavy gold chain."
+
+"Yes, I noticed him. A pompous-looking old gentleman, isn't he?"
+
+"Oh, he is dignified in his manner, but not at all pompous," was the
+reply.
+
+"Well, I call him pompous, if looks mean anything," said the mother,
+with the air of one to whom looks were quite sufficient. "I think I will
+go to my room," she added, and turned a glance on me, as much as to say,
+"You needn't come, sir." I had no intention of going, and wandered out
+on the piazza, feeling as though Bessie had almost been taken away from
+me again.
+
+When she rejoined me, leaving her mother above stairs, I asked, "What
+does she think of her room?"
+
+"Well, it doesn't quite suit her. She thinks the furniture scanty and
+shabby, water scarce, towels rather coarse, and she can't endure the
+sight of a kerosene lamp; but she will make herself quite comfortable, I
+dare say."
+
+"And everybody else uncomfortable," I felt like adding, but restrained
+myself.
+
+She came down to tea, and being offered a seat on the other side of me
+from Bessie, firmly declined it, and took the one on the other side of
+her daughter from me. As she unfolded her napkin she took in the whole
+table with a searching glance, and had formed a quick estimate of
+everybody sitting around it. Miss Clara Van Duzen and Mr. Desmond, her
+uncle, sat opposite, and an introduction across the table took place.
+The young lady was vivacious and talkative, and tried to make herself
+agreeable, but my mother-in-law did not like what she afterwards called
+her "chatter," and set her down as a frivolous young person. "Miss Van,"
+as everybody called her, with her own approval,--for, as she said, she
+detested the Duzen which her Dutch ancestors had bequeathed her with
+their other property,--was of New York Knickerbocker origin, now living
+with her uncle in Boston, and was by no means frivolous, though
+uncommonly lively. She had fine, brown eyes, beautiful hair, and a
+complexion that defied sun and wind. It had the rosy glow of health, and
+indicated a good digestion and high spirits. Mr. Desmond seemed to be
+mostly white vest, immaculate shirt-front, and gold chain, the
+last-named article being very heavy and meandering through the
+button-holes of his vest and up around his invisible neck. He said
+little, and was evidently not much given to light conversation. He was
+very gracious in his attentions to the ladies, however, and seemed to
+pay special deference to Mrs. Pinkerton. I afterwards learned that he
+was a widower of long standing, without chick or child, and the guardian
+of his niece, whom he regarded with great admiration.
+
+Down at the other end of the table was Marston, evidently giving vent
+to his impatience about something, and his wife, with fierce eyes,
+telling him, in manner if not in words, not to make a fool of himself.
+The rest of the company was made up either of transient visitors or of
+persons with whom this story has nothing in particular to do.
+
+As we emerged on the piazza after tea, Fred, who had impolitely gone out
+in advance, called out, "Charlie, old boy, come over here and have a
+smoke!"
+
+I must confess that these long sittings on the piazzas of summer hotels
+had lured me back to my old habits, which I had forsworn in my efforts
+to conciliate Bessie's mother. Bessie had encouraged me in it, for to
+tell the truth she rather liked the fragrance of a good cigar, and
+dearly loved to see me enjoying it. It was my nature to defy the whole
+world and be master of my own habits, but I had felt a mean inclination,
+after mother-in-law joined the party, to slink away and smoke on the
+sly. There was nothing for it now, however, but to put on a bold face,
+or play the hypocrite and pretend I didn't smoke. The latter I would
+not do, and if I had attempted it, it wouldn't go down with Fred, and I
+should have been in a worse predicament than ever. I went boldly across
+the piazza and took the proffered cigar. Glancing out at the corner of
+my eye as I was lighting it, I saw my mother-in-law regarding me through
+her glasses with increased disfavor. She did not, however, seem to be
+surprised, and doubtless believed me capable of any perfidy.
+
+"I say, Charlie, old boy, let's have a game of billiards," said Fred,
+after a few puffs. "I'll give you twenty points and beat you out of your
+boots." Now I was very fond of billiards, and usually didn't care who
+knew it, but Mrs. Pinkerton did not approve of the game, and had no
+knowledge that I indulged in it. But Fred would speak in that absurd
+shouting way of his, and all the ladies heard him. Again I mustered up
+resolution and went into the billiard room, but I played very
+indifferently, and was thinking all the time of my mother-in-law and her
+opinion of me. I really wanted to get into her good graces, but it
+required the sacrifice of all my own inclinations, and I despised a man
+who deliberately played the hypocrite to win anybody's favor.
+
+After two or three listless games I said to Fred, "I guess I will join
+the ladies." I was feeling some qualms of conscience for staying away
+from Bessie a whole hour at once.
+
+"Oh, hang the ladies!" was Fred's graceless response; "they can take
+care of themselves. My wife gets along well enough without me, I know,
+and yours will soon learn to be quite comfortable without your guardian
+presence; besides she's got her mother now. By the way, what a mighty
+grand old dowager Mrs. Pink is!"
+
+"Pinkerton is her name," I said, a little haughtily, as if resenting the
+liberty he took with my mother-in-law's cognomen.
+
+"Oh, yes, I know, but the name is too long; and besides, she reminds one
+of a full-blown pink, a little on the fade, perhaps, but still with a
+good deal of bloom about her. Is she going to live with you? Precious
+fine time you will have!" he added, having received his answer by a nod.
+"She'll boss the shebang, you bet!"
+
+"Oh, I guess not," I answered, not liking his slangy way of talking
+about my affairs, and resolving in my own mind that I would be master in
+my own house.
+
+"Well, then there'll be a fine old tussle for supremacy, and don't you
+forget it!"
+
+With this remark Fred wandered off down the dusty road, humming Madame
+Angot, and I drew up a chair by Bessie's side. She had evidently been
+wishing I would come. Mr. Desmond was sitting a little apart from the
+rest, twisting his fingers in his watch-chain and looking intently at
+the mountain-top opposite, as if expecting somebody to come over with a
+dispatch for him. Mrs. Pinkerton sat by her daughter's side in calm
+grandeur, her gray puffs--that fine silver-gray that comes prematurely
+on aristocratic brows--seeming like appendages of a queenly diadem. Miss
+Van had been diverting the company with a lively account of her day's
+adventures. She was always having adventures, and had a faculty of
+relating them that was little short of genius.
+
+"Well, my dear, are you having a good time?" I murmured in Bessie's ear.
+
+"Oh, yes; but I was feeling a little lonesome without you."
+
+The conversation degenerated into commonplace about the scenery and
+points of interest in the neighborhood, and after a while the company
+dispersed with polite good-evenings.
+
+When we reached our room, I remarked to Bessie, who seemed more quiet
+than usual, "I hope your mother will like it here."
+
+"Oh, yes, I guess she will like it when she has been here a little
+while," was the answer. "You know she has not been away from home much,
+of late years, except to the seaside with the Watsons and other of her
+old friends, and she does not adapt herself readily to strange company."
+
+I said nothing more, but was absorbed in thought about my mother-in-law.
+It is evident by this time that she was no ordinary woman, no coarse or
+waspish mother-in-law, but a woman of good breeding and the highest
+character. She was intelligent and well-informed, a consistent member of
+the Episcopal Church, with the highest views of propriety and a
+reverential regard for the rules of conduct laid down by good society.
+This made her all the harder to deal with. If she were a common or
+vulgar sort of mother-in-law, I could assert my prerogatives without
+compunction; and I was forced to admit that she was a very worthy woman,
+and not given to petty meddling, but I felt that her presence was an
+awful restraint. Without her we could have such good times, going and
+coming as we pleased, and acting with entire freedom; but she must be
+counted in, and was a factor that materially affected the result. She
+could not be ignored; her opinions could not be disregarded. That would
+be rude, and besides, their influence would make itself felt. Strange,
+the irresistible effect of a presence upon one! She might not openly
+interfere or directly oppose, but there she was, and she didn't approve
+of me or like my friends, could not fall in with my ways or my wishes,
+and make one of any company in which I should feel at ease, and I knew
+that her presence would be depressing, and spoil our summer's pleasure;
+and after that was over and we were at home, what? Well, sufficient unto
+the day is the evil thereof. We slept the sound sleep that mountain and
+country quiet brings, and took the chances of the future.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+THE RISE AND FALL.
+
+
+During the next week of our stay at the Fairview hotel, it grew rather
+dull. There was little to do but drive on the long country roads, or
+wander over the hills and in the fields and woods. I could have found
+plenty of pleasure in that with Bessie and a party of congenial friends,
+but it didn't seem to be right always to leave my worthy mother-in-law
+behind, with her crochet work or the last new novel from the city, on
+the sunny piazza or in her dim little chamber. She was not averse to
+drives, in fact enjoyed them very much, but she seemed to divine that I
+did not really want her company, though I protested, as became a dutiful
+son-in-law, that I should be very glad to take her at any time. She did
+go with us once or twice, but the laughter and romping behavior which
+gave our rides their chief zest were extinguished, and we jogged along
+in the most proper manner, professing admiration for the outlines of the
+hills and the far-away stretches of scenery between the more distant
+mountains. We returned as quiet and demure as if we had been to a
+funeral. Mrs. Pinkerton saw the effect, and with her fine feeling of
+independence, she politely but firmly declined to go afterwards. As for
+walking on anything but level sidewalks or gravel-paths, she could not
+think of such a thing. The idea of her climbing a hill or getting
+herself over a fence seemed ridiculous to anybody that knew her.
+
+So it was that we were continually forced to leave her behind, or deny
+ourselves the chief recreation of the country. I was sincerely
+disinclined to slight her in any way, and desirous of contributing to
+her pleasure, but what could I do? A fellow can't get an iceberg to
+enjoy tropical sunshine. Our dislike to leave the old lady alone,
+although she insisted that she didn't mind it at all, led us to pass a
+large portion of each day, sometimes all day, about the house. It was
+"deuced stupid," to use Marston's elegant phrase, but there was little
+to do for it. To be sure, there was Desmond, "old Dives," Fred called
+him. He seldom went out of sight of the house, but he had a perfect
+mail-bag of newspapers and letters every morning, and spent the forenoon
+indoors, holding sweet communion with them and answering his
+correspondents. In the afternoon he sat on the piazza by the hour,
+contemplating the mountain-top that had such a fascination for him. He
+had a prodigious amount of information on all manner of subjects, and a
+quick and accurate judgment; but he was generally very reticent, as he
+tipped back in his chair and twisted his fingers in and out of that fine
+gold chain. My mother-in-law, from her shady nook of the piazza, would
+glance at him occasionally from her work or her book, as much as to say,
+"It is strange people can't make some effort to be agreeable, instead of
+being so stiff and dignified all the afternoon"; but he seemed
+unconscious of her looks and her mental comments. His thoughts were
+probably in the marts of trade.
+
+Fred was continually going off to distant towns, or down to the great
+hotels in the mountains, for livelier diversion. His wife often insisted
+on going with him, to his evident disgust, not because she cared to be
+in his company, but because she wanted to go to the same places and
+could not well go alone. Now, Fred wasn't a bad fellow at heart. I had
+known him for years, and used to like him exceedingly. But he was left
+without a father at an early age, with a considerable fortune, and his
+mother was indulgent and not overwise. He got rather fast as he grew up,
+and then he contracted a thoughtless marriage with Lizzie Carleton, a
+handsome and stylish young lady, fond of dress and gay society, and
+without a notion of domestic responsibility or duty. Like most women who
+are not positively bad, she had in her heart a desire to be right, but
+she didn't know how. She was all impulse, and gave way to whims and
+feelings, as if helpless in any effort to manage her own waywardness. As
+a natural consequence there were constant jars between the pair. Fred
+took to his clubs and mingled with men of the race-course and the
+billiard halls, and Lizzie beguiled herself as best she could with her
+fashionable friends.
+
+And where was Miss Van Duzen these long and tedious days? They were
+never tedious to her, for she was always on the go. She would go off
+alone on interminable strolls, and bring back loads of flowers and
+strange plants, and she could tell all about them too. Her knowledge of
+botany was wonderful, and she could make very clever sketches; she would
+sit by the hour on some lonely rock, putting picturesque scenery on
+paper, just for the love of it; for when the pictures were done she
+would give them away or throw them away without the least compunction.
+She had a fine sense of the ludicrous and was all the time seeing funny
+things, which she described in a manner quite inimitable. She had grown
+up in New York, before her father's death, in the most select of
+Knickerbocker circles, but there was not a trace of aristocracy in her
+ways. She was sociable with the ostler and the office-boy, and agreeable
+to the neighboring farmers, talking with them with a spirit that quite
+delighted them. And yet there was nothing free and easy in her ways that
+encouraged undue familiarity. It was merely natural ease and good
+nature. She inspired respect in everybody but my mother-in-law, who was
+puzzled with her conduct, so different from her own ideas of propriety,
+and yet so free from real vulgarity. Mrs. Pinkerton could by no means
+approve of her, and yet she could accuse her of no offence which the
+most rigid could seriously censure.
+
+Miss Van was the life of the company when she was about, telling of her
+adventures, getting up impromptu amusements in the parlor, and planning
+excursions. She was the only person in the world, probably, who was
+quite familiar with Mr. Desmond, and she would sit on his knee, pull his
+whiskers, and call him an "awful glum old fogy," whereat he would laugh
+and say she had gayety enough for them both. He admired and loved her
+for the very qualities that he lacked.
+
+All this while I was trying to win the gracious favor of my
+mother-in-law, but it was up-hill work. She would answer me with severe
+politeness, and volunteer an occasional remark intended to be pleasant,
+but the moment I seemed to be gaining headway, a turn at billiards with
+Marston, for whom she had a great aversion, a thoughtless expression
+with a flavor of profanity in it, or my cigars, which I now indulged in
+without restraint, brought back her freezing air of disapproval.
+
+"Oh, dear!" I yawned sometimes, "why can't I go ahead and enjoy myself
+without minding that very respectable and severe old woman?" But I
+couldn't do it. I was always feeling the influence of those eyes, and
+even of her thoughts. I couldn't get away from it. Sunday came, and Mrs.
+Pinkerton expressed the hope that we were to attend divine service
+together. I hadn't thought of it till that moment, and then it struck me
+as a terrible bore. There was no church within ten miles except a little
+white, meek edifice in the neighboring village, occupied alternately by
+Methodist and Baptist expounders of a very Calvinistic, and, to me, a
+very unattractive sort of religion. It was not altogether to my
+mother-in-law's liking, but she regarded any church as far better than
+none.
+
+"I presume you will go, sir," she said, addressing me when I made no
+reply to the previous hint. She always used "sir," with a peculiar
+emphasis, when any suggestion was intended to have the force of a
+command.
+
+"Well, really, I had not thought about it," I said, rather vexed, as I
+secretly made up my mind, reckless of my policy of conciliation, that I
+would not go at any price. A tedious, droning sermon of an hour and
+perhaps an hour and a half in a country church, full of dismal
+doctrines,--the sermon, not the church,--I couldn't stand, I thought.
+
+Mrs. Pinkerton's eyes were upon me, waiting for a more definite answer.
+"I--well, no, I don't think I really feel like it this morning. I
+thought I would read to Bessie quietly in our room, and take a rest."
+
+"Very well, sir," she said, "Bessie and I will walk down to the
+village."
+
+"The deuce you will!" I thought; "walk a mile and a half on a dusty
+road; to be bored!" I knew it was useless to protest, and I was too
+wilful to take back what I had said, have the team harnessed, and go,
+like a good fellow, to church. "No, I'll be blowed if I do!" I muttered.
+
+So off went the widow and her daughter without me. Bessie tripped around
+to me on the piazza, looking like a fairy in her white dress and bit of
+blue ribbon, gave me a sweet kiss, and said, "I'll be back before
+dinner. Have a nice quiet time, now."
+
+"Oh, yes; have a nice quiet time, and you gone off with that old
+dragon!" It was a wicked thought, for she was not a bit of a dragon, but
+the feeling came over me that I was going to feel miserable all the
+forenoon, and so I did. Miss Van and her uncle had gone early to the
+neighboring town, the largest in the county, for church and the
+opportunity of observing; Fred and his wife had gone, the night before,
+round to the other side of the mountains, where there was to be a sort
+of ball or hop at the leading hotel; and the rest of the people in the
+house might as well have been in the moon, for all that I cared about
+them. A nice quiet time! Oh, yes; lounging about and trying to think of
+something besides Mrs. Pinkerton and my own shabby behavior. I would ten
+times rather have been in the dullest country church that ever echoed to
+the voice of the old and unimproved theology of Calvin's day. But I was
+in for it, and lay in the hammock and looked through the stables, tried
+to read, tried to sleep, started on a walk and came back, and almost
+cursed the quiet country Sunday, as specially calculated to make a man
+of sense feel wretched.
+
+At last Bessie and her mother returned, and we had dinner. In the
+afternoon I was an outcast from Mrs. Pinkerton's favor, but I had Bessie
+and read to her, and, on the whole, got through the rest of the day
+comfortably.
+
+The week following I began to feel that this was getting tiresome. Under
+other circumstances it might be very pleasant, but really I began to
+doubt whether I was enjoying it. But I made up my mind that during these
+days of leisure I ought to be making progress in the favor of my
+mother-in-law, with whom I was destined to live, nobody could say how
+many years. I couldn't and wouldn't make a martyr or a hypocrite of
+myself. I wouldn't conceal my actions or deny myself freedom. So I
+smoked with Fred, played billiards, rolled ten-pins with Fred's wife and
+Miss Van, and even beguiled Bessie into that vigorous and healthful
+exercise, which brought a gentle reprimand from her mother, addressed to
+her but directed at me. She did not think that kind of amusement
+becoming to ladies who had a proper respect for themselves.
+
+"Why, mamma, Miss Van Duzen plays, and says she thinks it jolly fun,"
+said Bessie innocently.
+
+"That doesn't alter the case in the least," was the rejoinder. "Miss Van
+Duzen can judge for herself. I don't think it proper. Besides, your
+husband's familiar way with those ladies--one of whom is married and no
+better than she ought to be, if appearances mean anything--does not
+please me at all."
+
+"O mamma, how absurd! I see no harm in it at all, and poor Lizzie, I am
+sure, never means any harm."
+
+"Well, well, my dear, I don't wish to say anything about other people,
+and I only hope you will never have occasion to see any harm in your
+husband's evident preference for the company of people with loose
+notions about proper and becoming behavior."
+
+On Saturday of that week a little incident occurred that raised me
+perceptibly in Mrs. Pinkerton's estimation. The great, lumbering
+stage-coach came up just at evening, more heavily laden than usual, and
+top-heavy with trunks piled up on the roof. The driver dashed along with
+his customary recklessness, the six horses breaking into a canter as
+they turned to come up the rather steep acclivity to the house. The
+coach was drawn about a foot from its usual rut, one of the wheels
+struck a projecting stone, and over went the huge vehicle, passengers,
+trunks, and all. The driver took a terrible leap and was stunned. The
+horses stopped and looked calmly around on the havoc. There was great
+consternation in and about the house. Here my natural self-possession
+came into full play. I took command of the situation at once, directed
+prompt and vigorous efforts to the extrication of the passengers, had
+the injured ones taken into the house, applied proper restoratives, and
+in a few minutes ascertained that only one was seriously hurt. She was a
+young girl, who had insisted on riding outside, higher up even than the
+driver. She had been thrown headlong, striking, fortunately, on the
+grass, but terribly bruising one side of her face and dislocating her
+left shoulder. In a trice I had made her as comfortable as possible;
+dashed down to the village for the nearest doctor, having had the
+forethought to order a team harnessed in anticipation of such a
+necessity; and, having started the doctor up in a hurry, kept on to the
+neighboring county town for a surgeon who had considerable local
+reputation. I had him on the ground in a surprisingly short time, and
+before bedtime the unfortunate girl was put in the way of recovery,
+having received no internal injury.
+
+My behavior in this affair, as I said, gave me a lift in my
+mother-in-law's estimation, and of course filled Bessie with the most
+unbounded admiration, though I had never thought of the moral effect of
+my action. In the morning I determined to follow up my advantage. It was
+Sunday again, and I bespoke the team early, to go to the neighboring
+town, where there was an Episcopal church, and where, for that day, a
+distinguished divine from the city, who was spending his vacation in
+those parts, was to hold forth. When I had announced my preparation for
+the religious observance of the day, I actually received what was
+almost a smile of approval from my mother-in-law. I enjoyed the ride,
+and was not greatly bored by the service, for I was thinking of
+something else most of the time, or amusing my mind with the native
+congregation. We got back late to dinner, and the rest had left the
+dining-room. The ladies went in without removing their bonnets, and
+after dinner retired to their rooms.
+
+As I came out on the piazza, Fred, who was walking about in a restless
+way, puffing his cigar with a sort of ferocity, as though determined to
+put it through as speedily as possible, shouted, "Hello! Charlie, old
+boy, where the eternal furies have you been? Here I have been about this
+dead, sleepy, stupid place all the morning, with nothing to do and
+nobody to speak to!"
+
+"Why, where's Mrs. M.?"
+
+"Lib? Oh, she's been here, but then she was reading a ghastly stupid
+novel, and wasn't company; and she went off to the big boarding-house
+down the road half a mile, to dine with a friend. I wouldn't go to the
+blasted place, and really think she didn't want me to. But where in
+thunder were you all the while?"
+
+"At church, to be sure, with my wife and her mother."
+
+"Oh, yes!" was the reply, peculiarly prolonged, as if the idea never
+occurred to him before. "How long since you became so pious, old man?
+Didn't suppose you knew what the inside of a church was used for. The
+outside is mainly useful to put a clock on, where it can be seen. Old
+Pink,--beg pardon! Mrs. Pinkerton,--I suppose, dragged you along by main
+force."
+
+"Not at all. I went of my own motion; in fact, suggested it to the
+ladies."
+
+"You don't say so! Well, I see she is bringing you around. It is she
+that is destined to gain the supremacy."
+
+"Pshaw! Is my going to church such an indication of submission? It
+wouldn't do you any harm to go to church once in a while, Fred."
+
+"Well, I don't know about that," he said, taking out his cigar, and
+stretching his feet to the top of the balustrade; "I don't know about
+that. I am afraid it might be the ruin of me. I might become awfully
+pious, and then what a stick and a moping man of rags I should become. I
+tell you, Charlie, my boy, there's many a good fellow spoilt by too
+much church and Sunday school."
+
+"Perhaps," I replied, "but you and I are beyond danger."
+
+"Well, yes, but you can't be too careful of yourself, you know."
+
+There was no answering that, and we relapsed into commonplace, and
+finished our cigars.
+
+"Where's old Dives to-day, and his charming niece, the lively Van?"
+asked Fred, after an uncommon fit of silent contemplation.
+
+"They went over to some town thirty or forty miles away, yesterday, and
+haven't got back," I replied.
+
+"I tell you, that girl knows how to circumvent these stupid Sundays,
+don't she, though? And she takes old Dives along wherever she wants to
+go. I believe she would take him where the other Dives went, if she was
+disposed to take a trip there herself. But, holy Jerusalem! what are we
+to do to get through the rest of the day. No company, no billiards, no
+fishing. Confound the prejudices of society. I tell you, it is just such
+women as that mother-in-law of yours that keep society intimidated, as
+it were, into artificial proprieties. Now where's the harm of a pleasant
+game on a Sunday, more than sitting here and grumbling and cursing
+because there's nothing to do?"
+
+I made no reply, and Fred lighted another cigar. He was evidently
+thinking of something. "Look here, old fellow," he said at length in an
+undertone, something very unusual with him, "come up to my room. You
+haven't seen it. Lib won't be back till teatime, and perhaps we can find
+something to amuse ourselves."
+
+He led the way and I followed, thinking no harm. His room was up stairs
+and on the back of the house, looking up the great hill that stretched
+back to the clouds. As we entered, I found he had brought a good many
+things with him, and given the room much the air of the quarters of a
+bachelor in the city. His sleeping-room was separate from that, and
+formed a sort of boudoir for his wife. He motioned me to an easy-chair,
+set a box of fine cigars on the table, and going to the closet brought
+out a decanter of sherry and some glasses.
+
+"In these cursed places, you can get nothing to drink," he said,
+"unless on the sly, and I hate that; so I bring along my own beverages,
+you see."
+
+I saw and tasted, and found it very good. He was still fumbling about
+the closet, with profane ejaculations, and finally emerged with
+something in his hand that I at first took for a small book. But he
+unblushingly put on the table that pasteboard volume sometimes called
+the Devil's Bible. "Come," he said, "where's the harm? Let us have a
+quiet game of Casino or California Jack, or something else. It is better
+than perishing of stupidity."
+
+I demurred. I was not over-scrupulous, but I had sufficient of my early
+breeding left to have a qualm of conscience at the thought of playing
+cards on Sunday.
+
+"Oh, nonsense!" said Fred, carelessly, as he proceeded to deal the cards
+for Casino. "There, you have an ace and little Casino right before you.
+Go ahead, old man!"
+
+I made a feeble show of protesting, but took up my cards, and, finding
+that I could capture the ace and little Casino, took them. From that the
+play went on; I became quite absorbed, and dismissed my scruples, when,
+as the sun was getting low, a shadow passed the window.
+
+"Great Jupiter!" I exclaimed, looking up. "Does that second-story piazza
+go all the way round here?"
+
+"To be sure," answered Fred, whose back was to the window. "Why not?
+What did you see,--a spook?"
+
+"My mother-in-law!"
+
+"The devil!"
+
+"No, Mrs. Pinkerton!"
+
+"Well, what do you care? You are your own boss, I hope."
+
+"Yes, of course; but she will be terribly offended, and I think it would
+be pleasanter for all concerned to keep in her good graces."
+
+"Gammon! Assert your rights, be master of yourself, and teach the old
+woman her place. D---- me, if I would have a mother-in-law riding over
+me, or prying around to see what I was about!"
+
+"Oh, I am sure she passed the window by accident. She would never pry
+around; it isn't her style; she has a fine sense of propriety, has my
+mother-in-law!"
+
+"Oh, yes, old Pink is the pink of propriety, no doubt about that!" said
+the rascal, laughing heartily at his heartless pun.
+
+But I couldn't laugh. I saw plainly enough that I had lost more than all
+the ground that I had gained in my mother-in-law's favor, and my task
+would be harder than ever. I had no more desire to play cards, and
+sauntered down stairs and out of doors as if nothing had happened. At
+the tea-table Mrs. Pinkerton was very impressive in her manner, but
+showed no direct consciousness of anything new. On the piazza, after
+tea, she was uncommonly affable to her daughter, and, I thought, a
+little disposed to keep Bessie from talking to me. The latter appeared
+troubled somewhat, and looked at me in an anxious way, as if longing to
+rush into my arms and ask me all about it and say how willingly she
+forgave me; but her mother kept her within the circle of her influence,
+and I sat apart, harboring unutterable thoughts and saying nothing. At
+last Mrs. Pinkerton arose, and said sweetly, "I wouldn't stay out any
+later, dear, it is rather damp."
+
+"Stay with me, Bessie," I said, "I want to speak to you. Your mother is
+at liberty to go in whenever she pleases." It was then she gave me a
+disdainful look and swept in, and I muttered the wish regarding her
+transportation to a distant clime, which brought out the gentle rebuke
+with which this story opens.
+
+I saw no prospect of enjoying a longer stay at the Fairview, unless some
+burglary or terrible accident should occur to give me chance for a new
+display of my heroic qualities, and even then, I thought, it would be of
+no use, for I should spoil it all next day. So we determined to go home
+a week earlier than we had intended. The Marstons were going to Canada
+and Lake George, and wouldn't reach home till October. Mr. Desmond and
+his niece stayed a month longer where they were, and that would bring
+them home about the same time. Bessie and I went home with a lack of
+that buoyant bliss with which we had travelled to the mountains and
+spent those first two weeks. There was no change in us, but it was all
+due to my mother-in-law.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+WHAT IS HOME WITHOUT A MOTHER-IN-LAW?
+
+
+Home! We were back from the mountains, and our brief wedding-journey had
+become a thing of the past. Mrs. Pinkerton's iron-bound trunk had been
+reluctantly deposited in her bed-chamber by a puffing and surly
+hack-driver; and here was I, installed in the little cottage as head of
+the household, for weal or for woe. It was Mrs. Pinkerton's cottage, to
+be sure, but I entered it with the determination not to live there as a
+boarder or as a guest subject to the proprietor's condescending
+hospitality. I was able and not unwilling to establish a home of my own,
+and inasmuch as I refrained from doing so because of Mrs. Pinkerton's
+desire to keep her daughter with her, I had the right to consider myself
+under no obligation to my mother-in-law.
+
+The cottage was far from being a disagreeable place in itself. It was
+small, but extremely neat and pleasant. The rooms were furnished with a
+degree of quiet taste that defied criticism. The hand of an accomplished
+housekeeper was everywhere made manifest, and everything had an air of
+refinement and comfort. There was no ostentatious furniture; the chairs
+were made to sit in, but not to put one's boots on. The cleanliness of
+the house was terrible. One could see that no man had lived there since
+the death of the late Pinkerton.
+
+Our room was the same that had been occupied by Bessie since she was a
+school-girl in short frocks. It was full of Bessie's "things," and it
+was lucky that my effects occupied but very little space.
+
+"This is jolly," I said, as I sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled
+a cigar from my pocket. "How soon will supper be ready, I wonder?"
+
+There was no response. Bessie was unpacking,--and such an unpacking!
+
+I lighted my cigar and threw myself back on the bed, wondering how they
+had got on without me at the bank. Presently in came mother-in-law to
+lend a hand at the unpacking. She did not see me at first, but the
+fragrance of my Manila soon reached her nostrils, and she turned.
+
+Such a look as she cast upon me! It almost took my breath away. But she
+did not say a word. "The subject is beyond her powers of speech," I said
+to myself. "Let us hope it will be so as a general thing."
+
+However, it made me feel uncomfortable, so by and by I got off the bed
+and went down stairs.
+
+At the supper-table I tried to make myself as agreeable as possible. I
+talked over the trip, and spoke of the people we had met at the
+mountains; but I had most of the conversation to myself. Bessie did not
+seem to be in a mood to chat; Mrs. Pinkerton devoted herself to impaling
+me with her eyes once in a while; in a word, the mental atmosphere was
+muggy.
+
+"Desmond has travelled a great deal," I said. "I was speaking of French
+politics the other day, and he gave me a long harangue on the situation.
+He was in Paris several years, when he was a good deal younger than he
+is now."
+
+"Mr. Desmond is not a very old man," said Mrs. Pinkerton, "but he has
+passed that age when men think they know all there is to be known."
+
+I accepted this shot good-naturedly, and laughed.
+
+"His niece is a remarkably bright girl," I continued. "Don't you think
+so?"
+
+"I cannot say I think it either bright or proper for a young lady to go
+off alone on mountain excursions for half a day, and return with her
+dress torn and her hands all scratched."
+
+"Well, it was rather imprudent, but you know she said she had no
+intention of going so far when she started, and she missed her way."
+
+"I did not hear her excuses. She appeared to be a spoiled child, and her
+manners were insufferably offensive. I should have known she came from
+New York, even if I had not been told."
+
+"Do you think all New-Yorkers are loud?"
+
+"I said no such thing. There is a class of New York young people who are
+so 'loud' that respectable people cannot have anything to do with them
+without lowering themselves. Miss Van Duzen belongs to that class."
+
+"You are rough on her, upon my word. I don't think she's half so bad,
+do you, Bessie?"
+
+"I liked her very much," said Bessie. "She may not be our style exactly,
+but I think at heart she is a good, true girl."
+
+"I wonder if she will call," I said. "By the way, Fred Marston is coming
+out to see us as soon as he gets back to the city."
+
+"As to that young man," Mrs. Pinkerton remarked, with some show of
+vivacity, "he impressed me as being little less than disreputable."
+
+"Disreputable! I would have you understand that Fred Marston is one of
+my friends," I exclaimed, growing angry, "and he is as respectable as
+the rector of St. Thomas's Church!"
+
+Phew! Now I had done it. Mrs. Pinkerton was thoroughly scandalized and
+offended. She got up, and we left the table, Bessie looking troubled. I
+went into the library, and after lighting a cigar, sat down to read the
+papers. Bessie, who had followed me, brushed the journal out of my hand
+and seated herself on my knee.
+
+"Charlie," she said, kissing me, and smoothing the hair away from my
+brow, "can't you and mamma ever get along any better than this?"
+
+"A conundrum! I never guessed one, so I shall have to give this up. But
+don't you see how it is, dearest? I try to be good to her, and she won't
+meet me half-way. On the contrary, she tries to nag me, I think. It
+wasn't my fault to-night. What right has she to run down my friends? If
+she don't like them, she might leave them alone, and be precious sure
+they'd leave her alone. She don't like smoking; I tried to swear off,
+tried mighty hard, but it was no use. You see--"
+
+"It wasn't quite necessary for you to make that remark about the Rev.
+Dr. McCanon, was it, Charlie?"
+
+"Well, no; I'm sorry, but she provoked me to it. I'll apologize."
+
+"And then, Charlie, you will try to be a little more patient with mamma,
+won't you?"
+
+"Yes, I do try, but the trouble is that she don't like me. Must I keep
+my mouth shut, throw away my cigars, bounce all my friends, and sit up
+with my arms folded?"
+
+"Oh, no, dear. Be good to her, and be patient; it will all come around
+right in time."
+
+That was Bessie's way of lightening present troubles,--"It will all come
+around right in time." Blessed hope! "Man never is, but always to be
+blest."
+
+My duties now kept me at the bank nearly all day, and for a few weeks
+affairs went on at home very smoothly. At table Mrs. Pinkerton
+maintained a sphinx-like silence, and I directed my conversation to
+Bessie. When the old lady opened her mouth, it was to snub me. The snub
+direct, the snub indirect, the snub implied, and the snub
+far-fetched,--I submitted to all with a cheerful spirit, and not a hasty
+retort escaped me.
+
+At Bessie's request, I now smoked only in the library, or in our own
+room. I bought a highly ornamental Japanese affair, of curious
+workmanship, as a receptacle for cigar-ashes. Altogether, I behaved like
+a good boy.
+
+One evening Marston dropped in. When his card was brought up stairs, I
+handed it over to Bessie, and hurried to the library.
+
+"How are you, old man?" he said, or, rather, shouted. "How do you like
+it, as far as you've got?"
+
+"Tip-top. I'm glad to see you. When did you get back?"
+
+"Last Saturday, and mighty glad to get back to a live place, too.
+Smoke?"
+
+"Thank you. Bessie will be down in a minute."
+
+"How's old Pink?"
+
+"S-s-h! She's all right. Don't speak so confoundedly loud."
+
+"Ha, ha! I see how it is. By and by you won't dare say your soul's your
+own. I pity you, Charlie, upon my word I do. Ned Tupney was married a
+few days ago, did you know it? and he's got a devil of a mother-in-law
+on his hands, a regular roarer--"
+
+"Here comes my wife," I broke in. "For Heaven's sake, change the
+subject. Talk about roses!"
+
+Bessie entered and exchanged a friendly greeting with Fred.
+
+"I was telling Charlie about some wonderful roses I saw at Primton's
+green-house," said the unabashed visitor, and he forthwith laid aside
+his cigar--on the tablecloth!--and launched into a glowing description
+of the imaginary flowers.
+
+Before he had finished, Mrs. Pinkerton entered much to my surprise. She
+bowed in a stately manner, inquired formally as to the state of Fred's
+health, and as she took a seat I saw her glance take in that cigar.
+
+Fred could talk exceedingly well when he was so disposed, and he
+entertained us excellently, I thought. He had seen a good deal of the
+world, was a close observer, and had the faculty of chatting in a
+fascinating way about subjects that would usually be called commonplace.
+He was pleased with the aspect of the cottage, and complimented it
+gracefully.
+
+"Love in a cottage," he sighed, casting a quick glance around the
+room,--"well, it isn't so bad after all, with plenty of books, a
+pleasant garden, sunny rooms, a pretty view, and a mother-in-law to look
+after a fellow and keep him straight." And the wretch looked at Mrs.
+Pinkerton, and laughed in a sociable way.
+
+I promptly called his attention to a beautiful edition of Thackeray's
+works in the bookcase, a recent purchase.
+
+In the course of a half-hour's call, Fred managed to introduce the
+dangerous topic at least a half-dozen times, and each time I was
+compelled to choke him off by ramming some other subject down his throat
+willy-nilly.
+
+Finally he rose to go. I accompanied him to the front door.
+
+"Sociable creature, old Pink, eh?" he said. "Doesn't love me too well.
+Is she always as festive and amusing as to-night?"
+
+"Hold on a minute," was my reply. I ran back and got my hat and cane,
+and accompanied him toward the railroad station.
+
+"See here, Fred," I said, "your intentions are good, but I wish you
+would quit talking about Mrs. Pinkerton. I am doing my best to live
+peaceably and comfortably in the same house with her, and you don't help
+me a bit with your gabble. She is a very worthy woman, and not half so
+stupid as you imagine. I admit that we don't get along together quite as
+I could wish, but I'm trying to please my wife by being as good a son
+as I can be to her mother. What's the use of trying to rile up our
+little puddle?"
+
+"Oh, all right!" he rejoined. "If you prefer your puddle should be
+stagnant--admirable metaphor, by the way--it shall be as you wish. Only
+I hate to see the way things are going with you, and I'm bound to tell
+you so. You are losing your spirit, tying your hands, and throwing all
+your manly independence to the winds. If you live two years with that
+irreproachable mummy, you won't be worth knowing. Do you dare go into
+town with me and have a game of billiards?"
+
+I went. We had several games. I got home about midnight. The next
+morning, at the breakfast-table, Mrs. Pinkerton said dryly,--
+
+"Your friend Marston pities you, doesn't he?"
+
+"I don't know; if he does, he wastes his emotions," I replied.
+
+"I am glad you think so. He takes a good deal of interest in your
+welfare, and I suppose he could be prevailed upon to give you wise
+advice in case of need."
+
+"I dare say. Fred is a good fellow, and advice is as cheap as dirt."
+
+"And pity?"
+
+"Pity! Why do you think Fred pities me? Why should he pity me?"
+
+"Your question is hypocritical, because you know very well that he
+thinks you are a victim,--a victim of a terrible mother-in-law."
+
+It was the first time she had ever spoken out so openly. I said,--
+
+"We will leave it to Bessie. Bessie, do I look like a victim?"
+
+"No," said Bessie, "but you are both the queerest puzzles! Mamma is
+always her dearest self when you are away, Charlie. You don't know each
+other at all yet. When you are together you are both horrid, and when
+you are apart you are both lovely. And yet I don't know why it should be
+so; there is no quarrel between you--and--and--"
+
+And Bessie began to cry. I got up.
+
+"No, there's no quarrel between us," I said; "but perhaps a straight-out
+row would be better than forever to be eating our own vitals with
+suppressed rancor."
+
+Mrs. Pinkerton made as if she would go around to where Bessie sat, to
+condole with her, without noticing my remark.
+
+"No, don't trouble yourself," I cried. "It's my place to comfort my
+wife." And I took Bessie in my arms tenderly, and kissed her
+tear-stained cheek almost fiercely.
+
+This theatrical demonstration caused my mother-in-law to sweep out of
+the room promptly, with her temper as nearly ruffled as I had ever seen
+it.
+
+"O Charlie!" whimpered my poor little wife despairingly, "what shall I
+do? It's awful to have you and mamma this way!"
+
+And now it was my turn to say, "Cheer up, my love! It will all come
+around right in time."
+
+But my _arriere pensee_ was, "Would that that burglar had bagged the old
+iceberg, and carried her off to her native Nova Zembla!"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+MISS VAN'S PARTY AND ANOTHER UNPLEASANTNESS.
+
+
+One day in the early fall, Mrs. Pinkerton received a letter postmarked
+at Paris, which seemed to throw her into a state of extraordinary
+excitement. I knew her well enough to be certain that she would not tell
+me the news, but that I should hear it later through Bessie. Such was
+the case. When I came home towards evening and went up stairs to prepare
+for supper, Bessie, who was seated in our room, said in a joyful tone,--
+
+"George is coming home next month!"
+
+"That's good," I said; and the more I thought of it the better it
+seemed. A new element would be infused into our home life with his
+advent, and I confidently believed that the widow's society would be
+vastly more tolerable when he was among us. George had been so long in
+Paris that he had become a veritable Parisian. That he would bring
+along with him a large amount of Paris sunshine and vivacity to enliven
+the atmosphere of our little circle, I felt certain.
+
+"Is he coming to stay?" I asked.
+
+"He don't know. He says he never makes any plans for six months ahead.
+It will depend upon circumstances."
+
+"Well, that's Parisian. I'm very glad he's coming, and I hope
+circumstances will keep him here. Isn't old Dr. Jones pretty nearly
+dead? Seems to me George could take his practice."
+
+"Now, Charlie!"
+
+"It's all right, puss; doctors must die as well as their patients."
+
+I broached the subject to mother-in-law at the supper-table,
+and--_mirabile dictu!_--she agreed with me that we must keep George with
+us when we got him.
+
+In November George arrived. He didn't telegraph from New York, but came
+right on by a night train, and, walking into the house while we were at
+breakfast, took us by surprise.
+
+Mrs. Pinkerton taken by surprise was a funny phenomenon, and I'm afraid
+propriety received a pretty smart blow when she threw her napkin into a
+plate of buckwheat cakes, dropped her eye-glasses, and rushed to meet
+the long-lost prodigal.
+
+As for George, he brought such a gale into the house with him--there are
+plenty of them on the Atlantic in November--that everything seemed
+metamorphosed. He laughed and shouted, and hugged first one of us and
+then another, and finally sat down and ate breakfast enough for six
+Frenchmen, every minute ripping out some wicked little French oath and
+winking at his mother with the utmost complacency. Never since I had
+become an inmate of the cottage had we enjoyed a meal so much as that
+one. There was an _abandon_, an _insouciance_, an _esprit_, a
+_je-ne-sais-quoi_ about this young frog-eater that thoroughly carried
+away the whole party, including even Mrs. Pinkerton.
+
+When George had eaten everything he could find on the table, he lighted
+a cigarette,--right there in the dining-room, too, and under his
+mother's eyes,--and we had a good, long, jolly talk together, Bessie
+sitting between us and feasting her eyes on her brother's comeliness.
+He certainly was handsome.
+
+"I have no plans," he said, "except to loaf here awhile and wait for an
+opening."
+
+"A French Micawber," said I. "And I suppose you know all about medicine
+and surgery?"
+
+"I have learned when not to give medicine, I believe, and so, I think, I
+can save lots of lives."
+
+A few days after George's arrival we received a call from the Watsons. I
+had never had the pleasure of meeting the Watsons, but I had had the
+Watsons held up before me as examples of the right sort of style so many
+times, that I felt already well acquainted with them.
+
+Mr. Watson was a very retiring, quiet little man, awed into obscurity by
+his wife. After a long and persistent effort to interest him in
+conversation, I was compelled to give it up, and to leave him smiling
+blankly, with his gaze directed toward the Argand burner.
+
+Mrs. Watson was immense in every sense of the word. Her moral and mental
+dimensions were awe-inspiring; and she delivered what I afterwards
+found, on reflection, to be very commonplace utterances in a style in
+which unction, dogmatism, self-satisfaction, and finality were
+predominant. Once, when she had brought forth an unusually imposing
+sentence, her husband fairly smacked his lips.
+
+The Watsons had no children. They were among the most prominent
+attendants of St. Thomas's, and the old gentleman was reputed to be
+worth about a million.
+
+George came in while the call was in progress, and after greeting the
+Watsons, he turned to Mrs. W., and uttered one of the most polished,
+delicate, pleasing little compliments it has ever been my fortune to
+hear uttered. Then he quietly withdrew into the background.
+
+Just then some more callers were announced, and what was my surprise to
+see Mr. Desmond and Miss Van Duzen enter. The former was as resplendent
+as to his watch-chain as ever, and his niece looked charming.
+Introductions all round followed, and the company broke up into groups.
+
+George took a seat near Miss Van, and a brisk fire of conversation was
+soon under way between them, varied by frequent bursts of friendly
+laughter.
+
+Mr. Desmond soon drew out Mr. Watson, and their talk was on stocks,
+bonds, and the like.
+
+After Mrs. Watson had proved her theory of the laws of the universe, and
+had almost intoxicated my worthy mother-in-law with her glittering
+rhetoric, the Watsons took their departure. Before the others followed
+their example, Miss Van extended an informal invitation to us to attend
+a "social gathering" at her uncle's residence the following Wednesday
+evening.
+
+We went, of course, Mrs. Pinkerton, George, Bessie, and I. It was a
+pleasant party, and it could not have been otherwise with Miss Van as
+the hostess. There was a little dancing,--not enough to entitle it to be
+called a dancing-party; a little card-playing,--not enough to make it a
+card-party; and there was a vast amount of bright and pleasant
+conversation, but still one could not name it a _converzatione_. The
+company was remarkably good, and Miss Van's management, although
+imperceptible, was so skilful that her guests found themselves at their
+ease, and enjoying themselves, without knowing that their pleasure was
+more than half due to her _finesse_.
+
+George was quite a lion, and I envied his easy tact, his unconscious
+grace of manner, and his faculty of saying bright things without effort.
+He and Miss Van got on famously together, and she found him an efficient
+and trustworthy aid in her capacity as hostess.
+
+Mrs. Pinkerton made a lovely wall-flower, and I could not refrain from a
+wicked chuckle when I saw her sitting on a sofa, exchanging commonplaces
+with a puffing dowager. Presently, however, I noticed that she had gone,
+and I found that Mr. Desmond had been kind enough to relieve me from the
+onerous duty of taking her down to supper.
+
+I wish I had a printed bill of fare of that supper, for even George,
+fresh from Vefour's and the Trois Freres Provencaux, acknowledged that
+it was sublime, magnificent, perfect. We men folks, in fact, talked so
+much about it afterwards, that Bessie rebuked us by remarking that "men
+didn't care about anything so much as eating."
+
+As Fred Marston remarked to me, while helping himself a third time to
+the salad, "It's a stunning old lay-out, isn't it!" His wife was there,
+dressed "to kill," as he himself said, and dancing with every gentleman
+she could decoy into asking her.
+
+After we had come up from the supper-room, Fred Marston pulled me into a
+corner, and inflicted on me a volley of stinging observations about the
+people in the room. George, Bessie, Mrs. Pinkerton, and Miss Van were, I
+supposed, in one of the other rooms; I had lost sight of them.
+
+"Old Jenks lost a cool hundred thousand fighting the tiger at Saratoga,
+this last summer," said Fred. "I had it from a man who backed him. Do
+you know that young widow talking with him near the end of the piano?
+No? Why, that's Mrs. Delascelles, and a devil of a little piece she
+is,--twice divorced and once widowed, and she isn't a day over
+twenty-five. You ought to know her. By the way, that brother of yours is
+a whole team, with a bull-pup under the wagon. Does he let old Pink boss
+him around as she does you?"
+
+"It's a fine night," I said.
+
+"Delightful! I say, Charlie, it must be a terrible bore to lug the old
+woman around to all these shindigs with you, hey?"
+
+"What do you think about the State election?" I demanded.
+
+"The Republicans have got a dead sure thing, I'll lay you a V. She has
+bulldozed you till you don't dare open your head, my boy. Yours is one
+of the saddest and most malignant cases of mother-in-law I ever struck."
+
+"Fred," I said, in hopes of bringing his tirade to an end, "your
+friendship is slightly oppressive. Confine your attentions to your own
+grievances. I will take care of mine."
+
+"Ah! at last you acknowledge that you have one. Confess, now, that old
+Pink is a confounded nuisance!"
+
+"Well, then, yes, she is! Does that satisfy you, scandal-monger? Now,
+for Heaven's sake, shut up!"
+
+I heard a brisk rustling of silk just at my left and a little back of
+where I sat, and some one passed toward the front parlor.
+
+"By Jove!" ejaculated Fred, looking intently. "It's old Pink herself,
+and I hope she got the benefit of what we said about her. I had no idea
+she was sitting near us."
+
+"What _we_ said about her!" I repeated. "I didn't say anything about
+her."
+
+"Yes, you did. Ha, ha! You said she was a confounded nuisance!"
+
+I shuddered.
+
+"Oh, well, brace up! Perhaps she didn't hear that impious remark," said
+Fred, chuckling maliciously. "Or if she did, perhaps she'll let you off
+easy: only a few hours in the dark closet, or bread and water for a day
+or two."
+
+"Confound your mischief-making tongue!" I growled. "Here comes Miss Van
+Duzen to bid you quit spreading scandal about her guests."
+
+Miss Van Duzen, on the contrary, only wished Mr. Marston to secure a
+partner for the Lanciers, which he promptly did.
+
+I sat brooding while the dancing went on, and was somewhat astonished,
+when it was over, to see George making for my corner.
+
+"How's this?" he said. "Didn't you go home with them?"
+
+"With them? What! You don't mean to say--"
+
+"But I do, though! Bessie and mother made their adieux half an hour
+ago, and I thought of course you had gone home with them, as nothing was
+said to me. This is a pretty go! Bessie must have been ill."
+
+"Nonsense!" I exclaimed. "I should have known if that was the case.
+Where's Miss Van?"
+
+"I saw her. She thought it was odd, but supposed you had gone with them.
+What could have started them off in that fashion?"
+
+"Well, well, don't let's stand here talking. Come on."
+
+We did not stop for ceremony. Rushing up stairs, we donned our hats and
+coats, and made our way out to the sidewalk without losing any time. I
+hailed a carriage, and we drove rapidly out of town. It was about half
+past one o'clock when we arrived home. There were lights in our room and
+in Mrs. Pinkerton's chamber. George followed me up stairs, and I tapped
+at the door of our room.
+
+"Is it you, Charlie?" said Bessie's voice.
+
+"Yes,--and George."
+
+She opened the door. It was evidently not long since their arrival
+home, for she had not begun to undress.
+
+"Explain, for our benefit, the new method of leaving a party," said
+George, "and why it was deemed necessary to give us a scare in
+inaugurating the same." He threw himself into an easy-chair.
+
+"Perhaps Mr. Travers is better able to tell you why mother should have
+left in the way she did," said Bessie, trying to make her speech sound
+sarcastic and cutting, but finding it a difficult job, with her breath
+coming and going so quickly.
+
+"The deuce he is!" roared George. "Come, Charlie, what have you been up
+to? I must get it out of some of you."
+
+"I am utterly unable to tell you why your mother should have left in the
+way she did," was all I could find to say.
+
+"Sapristi! This is getting mysterious and blood-curdling. The latest
+_feuilleton_ is nothing to it. Must I go to bed without knowing the
+cause of this escapade? Well, so be it. But let me tell you, young
+woman, that it wasn't the thing to do. If you find your husband flirting
+with some siren, you must lead him off by the ear next time, but don't
+sulk. Good night."
+
+George walked out and shut the door after him.
+
+"See here, Bessie," I said kindly, "don't cry, because I want to talk
+sensibly with you."
+
+She was sobbing now in good earnest.
+
+"I want you to tell me what your mother said to you about me."
+
+She couldn't talk just then, poor little woman! But when she had had her
+cry partly out, she told me.
+
+Her mother had not told her a word of what had passed between Fred
+Marston and me! The outraged dignity of the widow would not admit of an
+explicit account of the unspeakable insult she had received. She had
+simply given Bessie to understand that I had uttered some unpardonable,
+infamous slander, and had hustled the poor girl breathlessly into a cab
+and away, before she fairly realized what had happened.
+
+I then told Bessie what our conversation had been, and left her to judge
+for herself. I had not the heart to scold her for her part in the French
+leave-taking, though it made me feel miserable to think how few
+episodes of such a sort might bring about endless misunderstandings and
+heart-aches.
+
+Of course more or less talk was caused by the mysterious manner of our
+several departures from Miss Van's party; and, thanks to Fred Marston
+and his wife and similar rattle-pates, it became generally known that
+there was a skeleton in the Pinkerton closet.
+
+Miss Van soon heard how it came about, and nothing could have afforded a
+more complete proof of her refinement of character than the delicacy and
+tact with which she ignored the whole affair.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+ANOTHER CHARLIE IN THE FIELD.
+
+
+The winter, with its petty trials and contentions, had gone by; spring,
+with its bloom and fragrance, was far advanced; and already another
+summer, with its possible pleasures and recreations, was close upon us.
+Before it had fairly set in, however, an event of extraordinary
+importance was to occur in our little household. There had been
+premonitions of it for some time, which had a tendency to soften and
+soothe all asperities, and cause a rather sober and subdued air to
+pervade the little cottage, and now there were active preparations going
+on. Of course, the widow was gradually assuming the management of the
+whole affair, and it was a matter in which I could hardly venture to
+dispute her right. Her experience and knowledge were certainly superior
+to mine, and it was an affair in which these qualities were very
+important. In fact, I seemed to be counted out altogether in the
+preparations, as if it was something in the nature of a surprise party
+in my honor. Mrs. Pinkerton had an air of mysterious and exclusive
+knowledge concerning the grand event. Miss Van, who had come to have
+confidential relations with Bessie, of the most intimate kind,
+notwithstanding the mother's objections, knew all about it, but had a
+queer way of appearing unconscious of anything unusual. There seemed to
+be a general consent to a shallow pretence that I was in utter and
+hopeless ignorance. It annoyed me a little, as I flattered myself that I
+knew quite as much about what was coming as any of them, and I thought
+it silly to make believe I didn't, and to ignore my interest in the
+affair. Bessie had no secrets from me, of course, and our understanding
+was complete, but one might have thought from appearances that we had
+less concern in the matter than anybody else.
+
+As the auspicious time drew near, the goings-on increased in mystery and
+the widow's control grew more and more complete. Bessie showed me one
+day a wardrobe that amused me immensely. It was quite astonishing in
+its extent and variety, but so liliputian in the dimensions of the
+separate garments as to seem ridiculous to me.
+
+"Aren't they cunning?" said the dear girl, holding up one after another
+of the various articles of raiment. Then she showed me a basket,
+marvellously constructed, with a mere skeleton of wicker-work and
+coverings of pink silk and fine lace, and furnished with toilet
+appliances that seemed to belong to a fairy; and finally, removing a big
+quilt that had excited my curiosity, she showed me the most startling
+object of all,--a cradle! I had seen such things before and felt no
+particular thrill, but this had a strange effect upon me. I didn't stop
+to inquire how these things had all been smuggled into the house without
+my knowledge or consent, but kissed my little wife fondly, and went down
+stairs in a musing and pensive mood.
+
+The next day a decree of virtual exile was pronounced upon me. My
+mother-in-law thought perhaps it would be better if I would occupy
+another room in the house for a time, and let her share Bessie's
+chamber. The poor, dear girl might need her care at any time, and the
+widow looked at me as much as to say, "You cannot be expected to know
+anything about these matters, and have nothing to do but obey my
+directions." I consented without a murmur or the least show of
+resistance, for I admitted everything that could possibly be said, and
+lost all my spirit of independence in view of the impressive event that
+was coming. So I meekly took to the attic, and put up with the most
+forlorn and desolate quarters. One or two mornings after, I was aroused
+at an inhuman hour, and ordered in the most imperative tones to call in
+Dr. Lyman as quickly as possible, and haste after Mrs. Sweet. I hurried
+into my clothes in the utmost agitation, raced down the street in a
+manner that led a watchful policeman to stop me and inquire my business,
+rung up the doctor with the most unbecoming violence, and delivered my
+errand up a speaking-tube, in answer to his muffled, "What's wanted?"
+Then I rushed to the neighboring stable, and got up the sleepy hostler
+with as much vehemence in my manner as if he were in danger of being
+burned to death, and induced him to harness a team, in what I
+considered about twice the necessary length of time; drove three miles
+in the morning twilight for Mrs. Sweet, a motherly old maid in the
+nursing business, who had officiated at Bessie's own _debut_ upon the
+stage of life. When I had got back and returned the team to the stable,
+and was walking about the lower rooms in a restless manner, feeling as
+if I had suddenly become a hopeless outcast, the doctor came down
+stairs, and said, with amazing calmness, as though it was the most
+commonplace thing in the world,--
+
+"Getting on nicely. Fine boy, sir! Mrs. Travers is quite comfortable.
+Will look in again in the course of the morning."
+
+Then I was left alone again, an outcast and a wanderer in my own home.
+All the life was up stairs, including the wee bit of new life that had
+come to venture upon the perils and vicissitudes of the great world. It
+was two hours, but it seemed a month, before any one relieved my
+solitude, and then it was at Bessie's interposition--in fact, a command
+that she had to insist upon until her mother was afraid of her getting
+excited--that I was admitted to behold the mysteries above.
+
+Well, it is nobody's business about the particulars of that chamber. It
+was too sacred for description; but there was the tiny, quivering, red
+new-comer, already dressed in some of the dainty liliputian garments,
+and very much astonished and not altogether pleased at the effect.
+Bessie was proud and happy, the nurse, moving about silently, knew just
+what to do and how to do it, and the mother-in-law held supreme command.
+She was grand and severe, and evidently her wishes had been disregarded
+in respect to the sex of her grandchild. She feared the consequences of
+another Charlie launched into a world already too degenerate, and she
+had hoped for an addition to the superior sex. But Bessie and I were
+mightily pleased that it was a boy.
+
+There was little to be said then, but in a few days the restraint began
+to be relaxed, and discussions arose about what had become the most
+important member of the household. Even the widow must be content with
+the second place now, but I began to have misgivings lest my position
+had been permanently fixed as the third. In my secret mind, however, I
+determined to assert my rights as soon as Bessie was strong again, and
+reduce my mother-in-law to the position in which she belonged. I had put
+off doing it too long, and advantage might be taken of the present
+juncture of affairs to strengthen her claim to supremacy, and it really
+wouldn't do to delay much longer.
+
+"I think he looks just like Charlie," said Bessie to Miss Van, the first
+time the latter called after the great event.
+
+"Well, I don't know," was the reply. "It seems to me he has his papa's
+dark eyes, but I can't see any other resemblance."
+
+"Oh, I do!" Bessie replied with spirit. "Why, it is just his forehead
+and mouth, and his hair will be just the same beautiful brown when he
+grows up."
+
+The old lady was looking on reproachfully, and finally said, "Bessie, my
+dear, that child looks precisely like your own family. George at his age
+was just such an infant; you couldn't tell them apart."
+
+George entered the room at that moment, and with his boisterous laugh
+said, "You don't mean to say that I was ever such a little, soft,
+ridiculous lump of humanity as that, do you?"
+
+"As like as two peas," was the reply of his mother.
+
+For my part I kept out of the discussion, for I must confess I could see
+no resemblance between the precious baby and any other mortal creature,
+except another baby of the same age. I thought they looked pretty much
+all alike, and was not prepared to deny that it was the exact
+counterpart of anybody at that particular stage of development.
+
+"I tell you what, Bess," said George, after the debate had fully
+subsided, "you must name that little chap for me."
+
+"Oh, no," replied the proud mother, "that is all settled; his name is
+Charlie."
+
+Nothing had been said on the subject before, and I was a little startled
+at Bessie's positive manner, for I thought even this matter would not be
+free from her mother's dictation. The old lady seemed surprised and
+vexed. "George is a much better name, I think," she said very quietly,
+keeping down her vexation, "but I thought perhaps you might remember
+your dear father in this matter. His name, you know, was Benjamin."
+
+"Yes, I know," said Bessie, very firmly, "but I think there is one with
+a still higher claim, and the child's name is Charles."
+
+"Good for you, little girl!" I thought, but I said nothing. Within me I
+felt a gleeful satisfaction at Bessie's spirit, which showed that if it
+ever came to a sharp contest with her mother, nothing could keep her
+from holding her own place by her husband's side. All my misgivings
+about her possible estrangement by her mother's influence vanished, and
+I saw that the new tie between us would be stronger than any earthly
+power.
+
+"Well," said George abruptly, after a pause, "I wouldn't be so
+disobliging about a little thing like that."
+
+"Ah! you wait until you can afford the opportunity of furnishing names,
+and see what you will do," I said jokingly. My joke was not generally
+appreciated. The widow gave me a look a little short of savage. Bessie
+suppressed a smile, in order to give me a reproof with her eyes, and
+Miss Van just then thought of something wholly irrelevant to say, as if
+she had not noticed my remark at all. On the whole, I was made to feel
+that it was a disgraceful failure.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+THE SHADOW ON OUR LIFE.
+
+
+Another summer with all its glory was upon us. It was nearly a year
+since we were married, and I was beginning to feel the dignity of a
+family man. As Bessie regained her strength and bloom, she seemed to
+have a matronly grace and self-command quite new to her. As I looked
+back over our married life I saw no dark shadows, no coldness between us
+two, no misunderstandings that need occasion regret, but somehow it
+seemed as though that year had not been so bright and happy as it ought
+to have been. We had lived under an irksome restraint that was
+depressing. I had felt it more than Bessie, for she had been accustomed
+to submit to her mother, and did not chafe, but she plainly saw that my
+life had not that blithesomeness that would have been natural to me, and
+which she would have been glad to give it.
+
+It was the presence and influence of the mother-in-law that gave a
+chill to my home life, and yet I could accuse the good woman of no
+special offence. She was no vulgar meddler, and never wished or intended
+to mar our domestic felicity. She had managed to keep control of our
+household arrangements and we had passively acquiesced, but I felt that
+it would be better if Bessie would take command and cater more to our
+own desires. We could then have things our own way, and her position
+would be more becoming as the lady of the house. She began to regard it
+in the same light herself. Our social life, too, had been restrained and
+restricted. I was very fond of having my friends about me, and wished
+them to come in for the evening or to dinner or to pass a Sunday
+afternoon in our little bower, as often as they could find it agreeable.
+Mrs. Pinkerton made no open objections, but I knew the company of my
+friends was not congenial to her, and so was reluctant and backward in
+my invitations to them. Besides, they were apt to be chilled and
+disconcerted by the widow's stately presence and rebuking ways, and were
+disinclined to make themselves quite at home with us. Fred Marston and
+his wife had been quite driven away. Mrs. Pinkerton had declined to
+speak to the latter, and had told the former in plain terms that he used
+language of which no gentleman would be guilty.
+
+"By thunder!" roared the impulsive fellow, "I'll have you to understand
+that my wife and I are just as good as you, with your cursed airs of
+superiority!" and he stormed out of doors, and incontinently returned to
+town. When I met him afterwards he condescendingly declared that he
+didn't blame me, except that I ought to be a man and not allow "old
+Pink" to insult my guests. I did not particularly regret his
+discontinuing his visits, for, to tell the truth, I did not like his
+manners, and he had drifted into a circle and among associates not at
+all to my taste, but it galled me to have any one whom I chose to
+entertain driven out of my house.
+
+I think nothing saved our charming friend, Miss Van Duzen, to whom we
+had both become greatly attached, from being gracefully snubbed and
+insulted, except the presence of her uncle, whenever she came out to
+visit us in the evening. Mr. Desmond's indisputable social rank, his
+unimpeachable demeanor as a gentleman, and the dignity and
+impressiveness of his presence, though it could by no means overawe my
+mother-in-law, made it impossible even for her to give him an affront.
+Besides, she seemed to have a real respect for that fine old gentleman.
+She would doubtless have thought better of him if he had been a regular
+attendant at St. Thomas's Church, but she could not learn that he was
+very constant at any sanctuary. His views were decidedly what are called
+liberal, and yet he was very considerate of the religious beliefs and
+practices of others, and would cheerfully acknowledge the worthy aims
+and good works of all the different Christian denominations. He seemed
+to understand why other persons should choose to join one or another,
+while he preferred to stand aloof, have his own ways of thinking, and do
+whatever good he might in his own way. He had large business interests
+and great wealth, and though he maintained his mansion in the city in
+great elegance, his family expenses were comparatively small, and he was
+reputed to make it up fully by supporting more than one poor family in
+a quiet way. He was liberal in his conduct as well as his belief, and
+his character and habits were above the reproach of the severest critic.
+Hence it was that the widow was forced to respect at least this one of
+our visitors, and to treat his niece with common civility, though
+cordiality was out of the question.
+
+In fact, we owed to Mr. Desmond not a little for what relief we obtained
+in our social life from the chilling restraints of the mother-in-law's
+presence. He seemed to take a real pleasure in coming out to our little
+snuggery. His stately establishment in town could not be very home-like.
+His niece presided over it with great skill, and saw that every wish or
+taste of his was gratified. She could always entertain him with her
+sprightly wit, and their social occasions were among the most elegant in
+the city. He had his club to go to, which furnished every means that
+ingenuity and lavish resources could contrive to minister to the
+pleasures of man. And yet, there was wanting to his life that element
+that was the essence of home. He had longed for it when he was young,
+and had provided for it in his household; but the wife of his youth had
+been called from him early, and he had vainly tried to fill all his life
+with business, with silent works of charity, with elegance and profusion
+in his house, with his clubs, his studies, and his travels; but still
+there was a void, and when he came to visit us, he seemed to find
+something akin to the home feeling in our little circle. So he came far
+oftener than was to be expected of one in his position. Clara was his
+excuse, but it was plain to see that he liked to come on his own
+account, and he made himself very agreeable to us all; and when he came,
+we noticed the chilling influence of Mrs. Pinkerton much less than when
+he was not there.
+
+Sometimes we had a whist party. It was generally Bessie and I against
+Clara and George, but the widow had no objection to whist and was
+occasionally induced to take a hand, while Mr. Desmond was quite fond of
+the game and was a consummate player. When we young people made up the
+set, Mr. Desmond would converse with the widow, for though reticent
+where politeness did not call upon him to talk, he was incapable of the
+rudeness of sitting silent with one other person, or in a small party
+of intimate friends; and these conversations, showing his wide
+information on all manner of subjects, his sympathy with all charitable
+movements, and his tolerant regard even for the widow's pet ideas on
+church and society, evidently increased her respect for him.
+
+George must not be forgotten as a member of our circle, and never can be
+by those who were in it. His vivacity did much to relieve us from the
+depression that brooded over us. He and Clara Van, as he had taken to
+calling her as a sort of play upon caravan,--for was she not a whole
+team in herself? he would say,--he and Clara had many a lively contest
+of words, and were well matched in their powers of wit and repartee.
+
+Thus there were lights as well as shades, relief as well as depression,
+in our social life, but over it all was a shadow, the shadow of my
+mother-in-law.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+MY MOTHER-IN-LAW SUBDUED.
+
+
+As I was saying, I made up my mind that our happiness was marred by
+habitual submission to mother-in-law, and I determined to shake off the
+nightmare, to assert myself, and to reduce that stately crown of gray
+puffs to a subordinate place. How was I to do it? There was nothing that
+I could make the cause of direct complaint, and it was hard to get into
+a downright conflict which would involve plain speaking. I consulted
+with Bessie, and she agreed with me, and promised to assume the
+direction of household affairs. She did not like to hurt her mother's
+feelings, but she admitted that it was best for her to be mistress. I
+could but admire the matronly firmness and tact with which she played
+her part. She gave her orders and told her mother what she proposed to
+do, and then proceeded to execute it as if there was no room for
+question. If opposition was made, she very quietly and firmly insisted.
+Her mother was astonished and had some warm words, in which she accused
+me of trying to set her daughter against her.
+
+"Oh, no," said Bessie, "Charlie does not wish to set me against you or
+to have you made unhappy, but he thinks it better that I should be the
+mistress here, and I quite agree with him, and propose henceforth to be
+the mistress."
+
+The widow was not offended, but hurt. She had too much good sense not to
+see the propriety of our decision, and she surrendered and tried not to
+appear affected.
+
+This was the first victory. Another time, at the table, she had
+exercised her prescriptive right of extinguishing me for some remark of
+which she did not approve. I fired up and remarked, "I have the right to
+speak my own opinion in my own house, Mrs. Pinkerton."
+
+"Certainly you have a right to speak your own opinion in your own
+house," she replied, with the least little sarcastic emphasis on "your
+own house," which cut me to the quick.
+
+"But you don't seem to think so," I said. "You have had a way of
+snubbing me and putting me down which I don't propose to tolerate any
+longer. I am master of my own conduct and of my own household, and I
+hope, in future, that my liberty may not be interfered with."
+
+The widow's lip quivered, her great eyes moistened, and she left the
+table, not because she was offended, but to hide her injured feelings. I
+felt mean, and would have apologized, but that I felt that my cause was
+at stake. There was no after-explanation. My mother-in-law came and went
+about the house as usual, calm and polite. A silly woman would have
+refused to speak to me for some weeks; but she was not a silly woman,
+and took pains to speak with the most studied politeness, and to avoid
+offence. Here, too, she had evidently surrendered.
+
+This was victory number two. One more and the battle was won. It was a
+Sunday in June. I had especially invited Mr. Desmond and his niece to
+come out to dinner and to spend the afternoon, and had insisted to Fred
+Marston that he should come with his wife. I wanted to vindicate my
+right to have what friends I pleased, and then I didn't care overmuch if
+I never saw him again. Mrs. Pinkerton had gone to church alone as usual.
+For some weeks Bessie had been unable to accompany her, and I preferred
+the sanctuary at which the scholarly, but heterodox, Mr. Freeman
+preached. When she returned, our guests had arrived. She put on her
+eye-glasses as she entered the gate, and looked about with evident
+disapproval, as we were scattered over the lawn. She did not believe in
+Sunday visits. She was even stiff and distant to Mr. Desmond, and
+refused to see the Marstons at all, though they were directly before her
+eyes. She walked straight into the house.
+
+"By Jove," said George to me in an undertone, "that isn't right! I shall
+speak to mother about cutting your guests in that way."
+
+"Never mind," I replied, "don't you say a word; I want an opportunity."
+
+He saw it in a minute, and acquiesced with a queer smile. He fully
+sympathized with me, and had even encouraged me in the work of
+emancipation. He had the utmost respect and affection for his mother,
+but he said it was not right for her to make my home unpleasant.
+
+That Sunday Mrs. Pinkerton joined us at the dinner-table. I knew she
+would not be guilty of the incivility of staying away.
+
+"You remember my friends, Mr. and Mrs. Marston?" I said, by way of
+introduction, as she came in.
+
+"I remember them very well," was the reply; "too well," the tone
+implied. I made a special effort to be talkative, and to keep others
+talking during the dinner. It was very hard work, and I met with
+indifferent success. It was not a pleasant dinner. Mr. Desmond alone
+appeared not to mind the restraint, and he alone ventured to address the
+widow. She was polite, but far from sociable. We contrived to pass the
+afternoon tolerably, but not at all in the spirit which I wished to have
+prevail when I had friends to visit me, and all because of that
+presence.
+
+After they were gone, I took occasion to introduce the subject, for I
+had learned that Mrs. Pinkerton's skill in expressing her disapproval in
+her manner was so great that she relied on it almost altogether, and
+rarely resorted to words for the purpose.
+
+"I am afraid you did not enjoy the company very much to-day," I said, as
+we were sitting in the little parlor, overlooking an exquisite flower
+garden.
+
+"No, sir," she answered, with the old emphasis on the "sir." "I do not
+approve of company on the Sabbath, and I had hoped you would never again
+bring those Marstons into my presence at any time."
+
+"Excuse me, madam; but I propose to be my own judge of whom I shall
+invite to visit me, and of the time and occasion. I presume you admit my
+right to do so."
+
+"Certainly, sir. I never disputed it, and had no intention of saying
+anything if you had not introduced the subject."
+
+"I introduced the subject for the very purpose; in fact, I brought out
+the company for the very purpose of vindicating my right, and it would
+be very gratifying to me if you would concede it cheerfully, and not, by
+your manner and way of treating my friends, interfere with it
+hereafter."
+
+I was almost astonished at my own courage and spirit, and still more so
+at Mrs. Pinkerton's reply. It was dusky and I could not see her face,
+but her voice trembled and choked as she answered,--
+
+"God knows I do not wish to interfere with your happiness. Bessie's
+happiness has been my one thought for years, and now it is bound up with
+yours. I have my own notions, which I cannot easily discard, but I would
+not do or say anything that would mar your enjoyment for the world. I
+have long felt that I did do so, and have made up my mind to make any
+sacrifice of pride and inclination to avoid it."
+
+Here she actually broke down and sobbed, and I was very near joining
+her. "Never mind," I said at length, quite softened; "I guess we shall
+get along pleasantly together in the future, now that we have an
+understanding."
+
+"I hope so," she said, recovering her serenity, and we relapsed into a
+painful silence.
+
+This was the third and final victory, but I felt no elation over it. My
+mother-in-law receded somewhat into the background, but it was so much
+in sorrow, rather than anger, that I felt her new mood almost as
+depressing as the old. I didn't want her to feel injured or subdued, but
+evidently she couldn't help it, and the mother-in-law, though conquered,
+was herself still, and that congeniality that would make our life
+together wholly pleasant was impossible. Her existence was still a
+shadow, less chilling and more pensive, but a shadow in our home, and it
+seemed destined to stay there.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+GEORGE'S NEW DEPARTURE.
+
+
+"George is growing very restless. I don't know what ails him," Bessie
+said to me.
+
+"I can guess," I said, looking wise.
+
+"What is it?"
+
+"Do you remember what an uneasy, good-for-nothing chap one Charlie
+Travers was, when he first began to call on a certain young woman with
+conspicuous regularity?"
+
+"O Charlie, you don't think he--"
+
+"No, no! Now don't explode too suddenly. I wouldn't have him know that I
+suspect anything for the world. We won't name any names, but I keep my
+eyes about me, and I flatter myself I know the symptoms."
+
+And with these mysterious words, I started for the bank, leaving to
+Bessie a new and delightful subject for speculation and air-castle
+building.
+
+George did not come home to supper that day, but that was nothing
+extraordinary. I was sitting out on the porch, smoking after the meal,
+and saw him coming up the street.
+
+"Where have you been?" I asked, as he joined me and took a seat.
+
+"None of your business. In town."
+
+"Is Miss Van well?" I asked mischievously.
+
+"How should I know?"
+
+"Come, George, you don't play the part of Innocence over well. Suppose
+you try Candor, and tell me where you have been."
+
+"You mistake my identity. I'm not your baby. You will find the youthful
+Charlie entertaining his mother up stairs."
+
+A long-drawn-out, agonized wail, proceeding from the regions above,
+showed how Bessie was being entertained.
+
+"No opening yet?" I ventured to ask, changing the subject.
+
+"Not the slightest prospect. If some of these doctors could only be
+inveigled into taking some of their own prescriptions! But no; they are
+too wise."
+
+"The bitterness of your tone would seem to indicate that you have not
+enjoyed your visit to the town."
+
+"The town be hanged, and the country too! Let's take a walk down the
+street. Give me a cigar, confound you! How hot it is!"
+
+We strolled down the street.
+
+"This is a terrible vale of tears, this world," said I. "The world is
+hollow, and my doll is stuffed with sawdust, which accounts for his
+howling."
+
+George was silent. He pulled at his cigar ferociously, smoked it half
+up, threw it away, and replaced it by a cigarette.
+
+"When a man throws away the best part of a Reina Victoria he is either
+flush or badly in love," said I to myself. I waited patiently for him to
+speak, as I was perfectly willing to receive his confidence, but I
+didn't have the chance. He maintained a loud silence all the way, and we
+walked back home as we had gone out.
+
+"Something's up--something serious," I informed Bessie that night, "but
+George does not confide in me worth a cent, which I think is a little
+unbrotherly."
+
+The following day George was absent from an early hour in the afternoon
+till long after all the household were fast asleep at night. I was
+awakened at about midnight by a light tapping at the door of our room,
+and slipped out of bed without disturbing Bessie or the baby.
+
+"Come up to my den!" whispered George, as I opened the door. "Don't wake
+the others."
+
+I quietly got into my clothes and crawled noiselessly up to George's
+"den," devoured by curiosity. The moment I caught sight of his handsome
+face I saw that it was all right with him, and that he had nothing but
+good news to tell me. We sat down, hoisted our heels to a comfortable
+altitude, and George told his story. I let him tell it himself here:--
+
+"I was feeling terribly blue yesterday, when you saw me," he began, "as
+you could see. In the afternoon I went into town, and, according to a
+previous arrangement, hired a horse and buggy and called to take her out
+riding."
+
+(Of course "her" was Miss Van.)
+
+"We had agreed to take the old Linwood road, and follow it to the
+village, returning through the Maplewood Park and so getting back to the
+city at about six. We left the town and passed through the suburbs
+rapidly, until we struck into the country, and there I let the horse go
+his own pace, which was slow. So much the better. Miss Van Duzen was
+never more charming. We had the most agreeable bit of talk, and she drew
+me out till I amazed myself. She always does. It's no use my telling
+you, Charlie, but I have been a fool in my love for her ever since the
+night she came into this cottage like a stray beam of sunshine on a
+cloudy day. My heart went out of my keeping the night she called here
+with the old gentleman. I believe it was her freshness, her moral
+purity, that acted on my morbid, half _blase_ spirit, like a tonic, and
+brought me on my feet. I'm talking random nonsense, you say, but why
+shouldn't I? I'm drunk with love. Don't laugh at me. I'll be all right
+by daylight, except a headache. We got to talking about ourselves.
+Lovers always do, don't they? You ought to know. There doesn't seem to
+be much else in the world worth talking about. I told her all about
+myself,--my past, with its good and bad points, and my present hopes and
+purposes. It all popped out as naturally as possible. I suppose it would
+sound like drivel if I were to repeat it. Finally she began to laugh.
+
+"'It is dangerous to make a woman your confidant,' she said. 'How do you
+know that I can keep a secret better than any other of my sex?'
+
+"'I am not afraid on that score,' said I. 'This is my confessional. It
+is as sacred as any. Am I to receive absolution?'
+
+"She could not fully promise that. She read me a neat little lecture. It
+was fascinating to thus receive correction at her hands. I pledged
+myself, when it was done, to follow the course laid out for me. Then I
+made bold to exchange _roles_. With some maidenly hesitation, which soon
+vanished, she in turn laid before me the inner history of her life. Ah,
+my boy, how little there was in it to gloss over! how much to humiliate
+the best and noblest of us men! It was a revelation that made me
+prostrate myself before her. I was not worthy to hear it."
+
+George paused, and drummed on the table with his fingers nervously.
+
+"I may as well tell you all," he resumed. "I had resolved to ask that
+girl to marry me when we started on our ride, but after what she said to
+me so simply and modestly, I positively could not do it. She expected me
+to speak, I know that, for she would not have told me what she did tell
+me, otherwise."
+
+"So you didn't speak? Oh, stupid, stupid boy!"
+
+"I know it. But my tongue was tied. Perhaps it was all cowardice; I
+can't say. I never was afraid of any one before. I came home utterly
+shattered and down-hearted. To-day I gravitated back to her, after a
+sleepless night. She received me with the same friendly smile as usual,
+but there seemed to be a slight shadow over her spirits. That little,
+almost imperceptible change filled me with joy. I jumped to a conclusion
+that intoxicated me, and made the plunge at once.
+
+"'It is another case of the moth and the candle,' I said to her.
+
+"'Thank you. So I am a candle? That is a fine figure of speech.'
+
+"'Seriously speaking, I think we had not finished what we were talking
+of yesterday.'
+
+"'What were we talking of yesterday?' she had the effrontery to ask.
+'Oh, yes, now I recollect. It was yourself. That subject, I fear, you
+will never finish talking of.'
+
+"'Now that's a very mean speech, all things considered,' I whined. 'Do
+you want to strike a man, when he's way down?'
+
+"'Don't play Uriah Heep. I hate 'umble people. But if I have perchance
+pierced the thick epidermis of Parisian pride you have so long worn, I'm
+glad of it.'
+
+"She likes to abuse me, and I enjoy it quite as well as she. She
+continued to scold me and mock me for some time, to disguise her actual
+mood. I saw through it, and let her have her way for a while. The meeker
+my replies, the greater the exaggerated harshness of her criticisms. At
+last I no longer attempted to reply at all. Leaning back in a corner of
+the sofa, I watched the play of her animated features and the light of
+her dark brown eyes, and felt that she was the one woman in the
+universe that suited me, the one woman I could respect and love
+passionately at the same time.
+
+"'You say truly I am a coward. I am aware of that. I admit that I am all
+that is detestable. If such a wretch as you describe were to love a
+woman, what unhappiness for him! There could be no hope for him. He
+would know his own irredeemable unworthiness, and so could only slink
+away in shame.'
+
+"'You are quite right,' she cried, laughing merrily. 'That would be the
+only course for him to pursue.'
+
+"'By the way,' I said, 'that reminds me that my train goes out in twenty
+minutes.'
+
+"I rose, and she also stood up to accompany me to the door. I held out
+my hand. It was an unusual demonstration, and perhaps she thought it
+meant good-by in earnest. At least, as she put her hand in mine, I
+detected a look I had never before seen in the depths of those fine
+eyes. With a sudden, unpremeditated, and irresistible movement, I drew
+her close to me, folded my arms about her, and kissed her passionately.
+
+"'Clara!' I whispered, 'I love you! I love you! Don't tell me to go.'
+
+"She gently drew herself out of my reluctant arms, and though her eyes
+were misty now, I saw in them that I was to stay.
+
+"That's all the story I have to tell you, Charlie. I am too happy
+to-night to sleep, so I couldn't let you sleep. I stayed and spent the
+evening. Mr. Desmond, bless his dear old heart! cried over Clara, and
+gave her an old-fashioned blessing. I walked home on air. Do I look very
+badly corned?"
+
+I gave him a rousing hand-shake, and wiped away a stray bit of moisture
+from my cheek.
+
+"May I tell Bessie?" were my first words when I found my tongue.
+
+"Why not? There will be no long engagement in this case. The knot shall
+be tied as soon as possible."
+
+The announcement I made to my little wife the following morning was not
+entirely unexpected, yet it filled her with delight. Miss Van was the
+woman of all others that Bessie wished to have George marry. The
+arrangement was, therefore, completely to her satisfaction, and she
+beamed upon the happy George with true sisterly affection.
+
+What effect would the news have upon Mrs. Pinkerton? I asked myself. I
+had not long to wait for an answer, for it was at the breakfast-table
+that George fired the shot.
+
+"Mother," said the bold youth, "I'm going to be married."
+
+His mother abruptly stopped stirring her coffee, and her spine visibly
+stiffened, but she said nothing.
+
+"The event will occur without delay. Of course it is useless to inform
+you who is the--"
+
+"Quite useless," Mrs. Pinkerton broke in; "my wishes in the matter are
+not of the slightest consequence to you."
+
+"On the contrary. Now, look here; don't be so infernally quick to
+anticipate my wilfulness. I want to conform to your wishes if I can.
+_Que faire?_"
+
+"We will talk about it after breakfast."
+
+Accordingly, there was a serious passage-at-arms in the library after
+breakfast. George left the house a conqueror, but the conquered had no
+sort of intention of abandoning the campaign after a Bull Run defeat. In
+fact, war had only just been declared. It must not be supposed that it
+was a war the movements of which could be followed by the acutest
+military observer; the batteries were all masked, but the gunpowder was
+there. I felt confident that George would carry everything before him,
+and he did. He brought Miss Van over to spend the evening, and we had
+the pleasantest time imaginable. He would not allow his mother to say a
+word against Miss Van, and made a fair show of proving that the latter
+had, not only better blood, but also better breeding and a truer sense
+of propriety than my mother-in-law, that is, "when it came to the
+scratch," as George said. "But who would give a snap for a young woman
+who can't throw aside the shackles of conventionality once in a while,
+and be herself?"
+
+Miss Van was her own jolliest, sweetest self at this time. Her beauty
+had never been so noticeable: joy is an excellent cosmetic, and love
+paints far better than rouge or powder.
+
+As soon as Mrs. Pinkerton had recovered from her defeat, and when the
+engagement had become an acknowledged fact which all the world might
+know, the wedding began to loom up before us, and I could not help
+wondering if St. Thomas's Church was to be the scene of as fashionable
+and grand a display as on the occasion when Bessie and myself were made
+one.
+
+I felt reasonably certain that Mrs. Pinkerton would make an effort to
+that end, and I was curious to see how George would look on it.
+
+Bessie, I think, would have been glad to see the marriage take place
+with as much pomp and show as possible. She was intensely interested in
+what Clara should wear, and every visit from that young woman was the
+occasion for a vast deal of confidential and no doubt highly important
+_tete-a-tete_ consultation.
+
+Mother-in-law sailed into the library one evening with unusual celerity
+of movement.
+
+"George, dear," she said, "this cannot be true! You would not permit
+such an eccentric, uncivilized proceeding. Surely you will not offend
+our friends by--"
+
+"Avast there! Our friends be hanged!" cried George wickedly. "Yes, it's
+true, too true. The ceremony will be private, and no cards. You can
+come, though! Next Wednesday, at two o'clock, sharp!"
+
+This was cruel. I could see his mother almost stagger under the blow.
+She attempted to remonstrate, but it was too late. George assured her
+that "it was all fixed," and that Clara had agreed with him regarding
+the details.
+
+"Honest old John Stephens will tie the knot," said he, "and it will be
+just as tight as if Dr. McCanon manipulated the holy bonds. I trust we
+shall have the pleasure of your company, mother. Consider yourself
+invited. A few of the choicest spirits will be on hand. Clara will wear
+the most exquisite gray travelling suit you ever laid eyes on."
+
+The widow was flanked, outgeneralled, routed along the whole line. She
+brought forward all her reserve forces of good-breeding, and thus
+escaped a disastrous panic by retiring in good order.
+
+The ceremony occurred, as George had announced, the following
+Wednesday. The near relatives and best friends of the young couple were
+present, and it was a quiet and thoroughly enjoyable affair for all who
+participated. An hour after they had been pronounced man and wife,
+George and his bride rode away to take the train for the mountains.
+
+    "And on her lover's arm she leant,
+      And round her waist she felt it fold,
+    And far across the hills they went
+      In that new world which is the old."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII.
+
+BABY TALK, OLD DIVES, AND OTHER THINGS.
+
+
+The cottage seemed dull enough after the departure of George with his
+bride. Bessie was so absorbed by the care of our little one that she had
+very little time to think of anything else, and in fact the new-comer,
+for the time being, monopolized the attention of his grandmother as well
+as of his mother. I was therefore left to my own resources.
+
+"Baby is not very well, Charlie," Bessie informed me, one morning, with
+an anxious air. "Do you think it would do to wrap him up well and take
+him for a little ride this afternoon?"
+
+"Yes, that's a good idea. If I can get that black horse at the livery
+stable, I'll bring him around this afternoon. But I don't see why you
+should wrap him up. It's hot as blazes."
+
+"You don't know anything about babies, Charlie. Go along. Get a nice,
+easy carriage, and we'll take mother with us. I long for a ride."
+
+I departed, and secured the desired "team."
+
+Towards two o'clock I drove up to the cottage, and the entire family
+bundled into the vehicle, and we were off. I chose a pleasant, shady
+road, and drove slowly, while Bessie and her mother filled the air with
+baby talk.
+
+As we were climbing the hill near Linwood, I saw, a short distance ahead
+of us, the form of an elderly gentleman toiling up the ascent in the
+sun. He seemed fatigued, and stopped as we drew near him, to wipe the
+beads of perspiration from his brow.
+
+"Why, it's Mr. Desmond!" exclaimed Bessie.
+
+Sure enough! As he turned toward us I recognized the white vest, the
+expansive shirt-front, and the resplendent watch-chain that could belong
+to no other than "old Dives" himself.
+
+"How d'ye do?" I cried, halting our fiery steed.
+
+"Ah! Mr. Travers, Mrs. Pinkerton, how do you do? Delighted to meet you.
+It's very warm."
+
+"How came you so far out in the country afoot?" I asked.
+
+"I had some business at Melton, and lost the 2:30 train back to town,
+so I started to walk to Linwood with the purpose of taking a train on
+the other road. They told me it was only a mile and a half, but--." And
+he sighed significantly.
+
+"How fortunate that we met you," said Mrs. Pinkerton quickly, taking the
+words out of my mouth. "Get in and ride to Linwood with us. We have a
+vacant seat, you see."
+
+I seconded her invitation, and without much hesitation he accepted, and
+took a seat by my side. The conversation turned naturally upon the
+"young couple" (Bessie and I were no longer referred to in that way),
+and Mr. Desmond extolled his niece unreservedly. Mother-in-law was
+evidently somewhat impressed, but I think she made some mental
+reservations.
+
+"Will you smoke, Mr. Desmond?" I asked, offering him a cigar.
+
+"No, I thank you."
+
+"Oh, I had forgotten you did not approve of the habit. Excuse me."
+
+Mrs. Pinkerton explained to Mr. Desmond, apologetically, that I was an
+irresponsible victim of the nicotine poison. I laughed, but Mr. Desmond
+received the explanation solemnly, and expressed his abhorrence for "the
+weed."
+
+The old gentleman professed great admiration for baby, and said that he
+looked exactly like his mother; in fact, the resemblance was almost
+startling.
+
+By the time we had got to Linwood, our passenger had talked himself into
+a state of good-humor, and we left him at the railroad station, bowing
+and smiling with true old-school _aplomb_.
+
+Bessie thought the ride did Charlie, junior, good, and so it became a
+regular thing, on pleasant afternoons, to take him out for a little
+airing. Mrs. Pinkerton overcame her scruples, and usually accompanied
+us. A sample of the sweet converse held with my son and heir on the back
+seat will suffice:--
+
+"Sodywazzaleetlecatchykums! 'Esoodavaboobangy! Mamma's cunnin'
+kitten-baby!"
+
+One day, just before noon, when I had been making a mental calculation
+as to how I should be able to cover the livery-stable bill, a fine
+equipage stopped in front of the bank, and through the window I saw the
+stately driver hand a note to our errand-boy. In a moment Tommy appeared
+in the room and handed me the billet, which ran thus:--
+
+    MY DEAR MR. TRAVERS,--I trust you will not take it amiss if I
+    send my coachman out your way once in a while to exercise the
+    ponies. Since Clara's taking-off, they have stood still too
+    much, and knowing that you go to ride occasionally with your
+    family, I take the liberty of putting them at your disposal for
+    the present, with instructions to John, who is a careful and
+    trustworthy driver, to place himself at your service whenever
+    you are so disposed. The obligation will be entirely on my part,
+    if you will kindly take a turn behind the ponies whenever you
+    choose. My regards to your wife and Mrs. Pinkerton.
+
+        Believe me yours sincerely,
+
+            T. G. DESMOND.
+
+
+I could find no objection to accepting this kindly offer, so delicately
+made, but I did not dare to do so before consulting Bessie and her
+mother, so I stepped into the carriage and had John drive me to the
+cottage. There was a consultation, and after I had overcome some feeble
+scruples on Mrs. Pinkerton's part, which I am afraid were hypocritical,
+we decided to take advantage of Mr. Desmond's generosity. I sent a note
+of thanks back by John, and thenceforth we took our rides behind "old
+Dives's" black ponies. Occasionally the old gentleman himself came out
+in the carriage, and proved himself as trustworthy and careful a driver
+as John, handling the "ribbons" with the air of an accomplished whip.
+The rides were very pleasant, those beautiful summer days, and the
+change from a hired "team" to the sumptuous establishment of Mr. Desmond
+was extremely grateful.
+
+Mr. Desmond was doubtless very lonely without his niece. She had been
+the light of his home, and her absence was probably felt by the old
+gentleman with more keenness than he had anticipated at the outset. His
+large and beautifully furnished mansion needed the presence of just such
+a person of vivacious and cheery character as Clara, to prevent it from
+becoming cheerless in its grandeur. He intimated as much, and appeared
+unusually restless and low-spirited for him. He sought to make up for
+the absence of the sunshine and joyousness that "Miss Van" had taken
+away with her, by applying himself with especial diligence to business;
+but he really had not much business to engross his attention, beyond
+collecting his interest and looking out for his agents, and it failed to
+fill the void. He betook himself to his club, and killed time
+assiduously, talking with the men-about-town he found there, playing
+whist, and running through the magazines and reviews in search of wit
+and wisdom wherewith to divert himself. The dull season had set in;
+there was little doing, in affairs, commerce, politics, or literature;
+and direct efforts at killing time always result in making time go more
+heavily than ever. Mr. Desmond's attempt was like a curious _pas seul_,
+executed by a nimble actor in a certain extravaganza, the peculiarity of
+which is that at every forward step the dancer slides farther and
+farther backward, until finally an unseen power appears to drag him back
+into the flies.
+
+It was during one of our afternoon drives, when Mr. Desmond usurped the
+office of his coachman, that he confided to us a plan which he had
+devised to cure his _ennui_.
+
+"I have made up my mind," he said, "to go abroad for a good long tour.
+It will be the best move I could possibly make."
+
+"I don't doubt it," I said. "How soon do you propose to go?" And Bessie
+sighed, "O dear, how delightful!"
+
+"My plans are not matured," Mr. Desmond continued, "but I think I shall
+sail early next month. My favorite steamer leaves on the 6th."
+
+"I hope you will enjoy a pleasant voyage, and a delightful trip on the
+other side," said Mrs. Pinkerton politely.
+
+Mr. Desmond returned thanks. Nothing more was said that day concerning
+his project. When he left us at the cottage, he remarked,--
+
+"By the way, Mr. Travers, I wish you would call at my office to-morrow
+morning at or about eleven o'clock, if you can make it convenient to do
+so."
+
+"I will do so," I replied, wondering what he could want of me.
+
+At the appointed hour the next day I was on hand at his office. He
+motioned to me to be seated and then said,--
+
+"Yesterday morning I met John K. Blunt, of Blunt Brothers & Company, at
+my club, and he told me that their cashier had defaulted. An account of
+the affair is in this morning's papers. They want a new cashier. I have
+mentioned your name, and if you will go around to their office with me,
+we will talk with Blunt."
+
+"Mr. Desmond--" I began, but he stopped me.
+
+"Don't let's have any talk but business," he said. "The figures will be
+satisfactory, I am confident."
+
+Satisfactory! They were munificent! Blunt liked me, and only a few short
+and sharp sentences from such a man as Desmond finished the business. I
+saw a future of opulence before me. My head was almost turned. I tried
+to thank Mr. Desmond, but he would not listen to my earnest expressions
+of gratitude.
+
+"I have engaged passage for the 6th," he told me when we were parting;
+"I will try to call at your cottage before I get off. I am busy settling
+up some details now. Good day."
+
+I hastened home with my good news. Bessie's eyes glistened when she
+heard it, and even my mother-in-law showed a faint sign of pleasure at
+my good luck.
+
+The following Saturday evening Mr. Desmond came out to see us.
+
+"Don't consider this my farewell appearance," he said. "I merely wished
+to tell you that my friends have inveigled me into giving an informal
+party Tuesday evening, at which I shall expect you all to appear."
+
+He talked glibly, for him, and gave us an outline sketch of his proposed
+tour. I thought he seemed strangely restless and nervous, and I pitied
+him.
+
+His "informal party" was really a noteworthy affair, and the wealth and
+respectability of the city were well represented. Bessie could not go,
+on account of the baby, so I acted as escort to Mrs. Pinkerton, who made
+herself amazingly agreeable. There were not many young people present,
+and the affair was quiet and genteel in the extreme. Bank presidents,
+capitalists, professional men, and "solid" men, with their wives,
+attired in black silks, formed the majority of the guests. They were Mr.
+Desmond's personal friends. My mother-in-law was in congenial company,
+and I believe she enjoyed the evening remarkably. Most of the
+conversation turned, very naturally, upon European travel. Americans who
+are possessed of wealth always have done "the grand tour," and they
+invariably speak of "Europe" in a general way, as if it were all one
+country.
+
+"When I returned from my first tour abroad, a friend said to me that he
+'supposed it was a fine country over there,'" said Mr. Desmond to me,
+laughing.
+
+Some one asked him where he had decided to go.
+
+"I shall land at Havre, and go straight to Paris," he answered. "I
+flatter myself I am a good American, and as I have been comparatively
+dead since my niece left me, I am entitled to a place in that
+terrestrial paradise."
+
+I thought I had never seen Mrs. Pinkerton appear to so good advantage as
+she did on this occasion. Her natural good manners and her intelligence
+made her attractive in such a company, and she was the centre of a
+bright group of middle-aged Brahmins throughout the entire evening. Mr.
+Desmond appeared grateful for the assistance she rendered in making his
+party pass off pleasantly, and as for me, I began to feel that I had
+never quite appreciated her best qualities. She was a woman that one
+could not wholly know in a year, perhaps not in a lifetime. "Who knows?"
+I thought; "perhaps I have wronged my mother-in-law."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII.
+
+A SURPRISE.
+
+
+We were feeling a little solemn at the cottage. George, with his lively
+ways, and Clara, with her sparkling vivacity, were away on their wedding
+tour, and our good friend, Mr. Desmond, to whom we had taken a great
+liking, was about to sail for an indefinite absence in foreign lands.
+Though the mother-in-law's presence was less oppressive than formerly,
+there was now a pensiveness, an air of departed glory about it, that was
+not cheerful. There was danger of settling down to a humdrum sort of
+life, free from strife, perhaps, but at the same time devoid of that
+buoyancy which should make the home of a young couple joyous.
+
+I was a little doubtful of making a vacation in the country this summer.
+To be sure, when George went away, it was agreed that after he had gone
+the round of the White Mountains, the attractions of Canada, Niagara
+Falls, and Saratoga, he would return for a quiet stay of a few weeks, at
+the close of the season, to the little resort which we had visited a
+year ago, and there, if Bessie's health would permit, and I could
+arrange for a sufficient absence from business, we would join them. But
+I almost dreaded taking Mrs. Pinkerton with us, and doubted whether she
+would go; at the same time, I did not like to propose leaving her behind
+to take care of the cottage. I was in perplexity, and, notwithstanding
+my splendid new prospects in business, was not feeling cheerful.
+
+Coming home from a restless round of the city on the Fourth of July,
+where I had found the great national holiday a bore, I noticed Mr.
+Desmond's team coming up to the garden gate with a brisk turn. That fine
+old gentleman--I always feel like calling him old on account of his gray
+whiskers, though he was little more than fifty--came down the walk and
+with stately politeness assisted Bessie and the baby out of the
+carriage. I looked to see Mrs. Pinkerton follow, but she was not there,
+and clearly Mr. Desmond had not been to ride. It struck me as a little
+queer, not to say amusing, that they had been having a quiet
+_tete-a-tete_ together in the cottage while John gave Bessie and the
+baby their airing. But then, it was not so strange either, for was he
+not going to leave us in two days? It was no uncommon thing for Mrs.
+Pinkerton to stay within while Bessie was out, and he had probably
+dropped in late in the afternoon, expecting to find us all at home, as
+it was a holiday. I bade him good by in case I did not see him again, as
+he got into the carriage to ride back to the city.
+
+"Oh, I shall see you to-morrow," he said in a brisk tone which had not
+been habitual with him of late.
+
+That evening my mother-in-law was uncommonly gracious, a little
+absent-minded, and more pleasant in spirit than I had ever known her.
+She seemed to be filled with an inward satisfaction that I could not
+make out at all. Bessie and I both remarked it, but could not surmise
+any cause for the apparent change that had come over the spirit of her
+dream.
+
+Next morning, on reaching town, I found a note asking me to step over
+to Mr. Desmond's office when I could find time. I went at my leisure,
+wondering what was up. As I entered, he seemed remarkably cordial and
+happy.
+
+"I find that Blunt," he said in a business-like way, "would like to have
+you take hold at once, if possible. Their affairs are in some confusion
+and need an experienced hand to straighten them out. It will be
+necessary for you to give a bond, which I have here all prepared, with
+satisfactory sureties, and you need only give us your signature, which I
+will have properly witnessed on the spot."
+
+"Oh, is that it?" I thought. Strange I didn't think of its having
+something to do with my new position. I knew I could get away from my
+old place at a week's notice, as I had already made known my intention
+to leave, and there were several applicants for the position. The bond
+was executed without hesitation.
+
+"You will not lose your vacation," Mr. Desmond said, "though your salary
+will begin at once. As soon as you can get matters in order, which may
+take a month or more, you are to be allowed a few weeks' absence to
+recuperate and get fully prepared for your new responsibilities."
+
+Thanking him for his kindness, I was about to go, when he said, "Sit
+down, Mr. Travers. I have something else to say to you."
+
+"What's coming now?" I wondered, as I took my seat again. Mr. Desmond
+seemed a little at a loss how to begin his new communication, and came
+nearer appearing embarrassed than I should have thought possible for
+him.
+
+"The fact is," he said at last, "I have changed my mind about going
+abroad."
+
+I have no doubt I looked very much surprised and puzzled, and smiling at
+the expression of my face, he went on,--
+
+"Your mother-in-law, Mrs. Pinkerton, is a very worthy woman; in fact, a
+remarkably worthy woman."
+
+I couldn't deny that; but why should he choose such a time and place to
+compliment her?
+
+"Do you know," he added, with a still nearer approach to embarrassment
+in his manner, and something like a blush on his usually calm face, "I
+have asked her to become Mrs. Desmond."
+
+"The devil you have!" was my thought as astonishment fairly overcame
+me. I didn't say it, though, but it was my turn to be embarrassed, and I
+hardly knew what to say.
+
+Having got it out, Mr. Desmond fairly recovered his equanimity. "Yes,"
+he said, "I put the idea away from me for a long time, but it would
+persist in growing upon me, and I finally concluded that perhaps it
+might contribute to the happiness of _all_ parties, so I have taken the
+plunge. I hope you approve of it," he added, with a queer twinkle in his
+eye.
+
+"With all my heart, sir," I said earnestly; "and I am sure it will be as
+pleasing as it is surprising to us all."
+
+Throughout that afternoon I was restless, and eager to get home to tell
+Bessie the wonderful news. It was the longest afternoon I ever saw, but
+at length it passed and I hurried home. As Bessie met me at the door I
+said eagerly, "I've got a surprise for you, deary."
+
+Now I noticed for the first time that she was all smiles and full of
+something that she was eager to surprise me with. Simultaneously each
+recognized that the other had the secret already. Of course; what a
+fool I was! Her mother naturally enough would tell her while Mr. Desmond
+broke the matter to me.
+
+"Isn't it jolly?" I said.
+
+"Why, Charlie, are you then so anxious to get rid of poor, dear mamma?"
+she said, half reproachfully and half teasingly.
+
+"Oh, no, of course not, but it is really nice for all of us, isn't it
+now? She won't be far off, you know; we shall have our little home all
+to ourselves, and Mr. Desmond will be a sort of guardian for us. And as
+I said before, I think it is jolly."
+
+"Well, I must confess I do not altogether like the idea of mamma
+marrying again, and I shall miss her very much, after all."
+
+I couldn't help laughing at the little woman's demure countenance, as
+she said this. There was a little trace of jealousy in her gentle
+heart--jealousy so natural to women--at the idea of another's taking her
+mother off, just as that good woman had been jealous at her taking off.
+I accused her of it, and she repudiated the idea.
+
+But everybody must admit that things had fallen out just right for all
+parties, and the shadow was to be taken from our household by a new
+burst of sunlight, without any heart-burning for anybody, and with
+nothing but satisfaction for all. It was arranged that the new marriage
+should presently occur, and the mature couple take a little trip, and
+surprise George and Clara by being at the Fairview Hotel before them.
+Their first knowledge of the turn of affairs was to come when they
+arrived there late in August, and found their new relations in
+possession. Bessie and I were to join the party for a brief stay, and so
+my perplexity was happily ended.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV.
+
+A HAPPY PROSPECT.
+
+
+The landscape is lovely in these latter days of August. The mountains
+are grand and solemn in their everlasting silence. We are together at
+the Fairview, and everybody feels free and happy. There is no restraint,
+and our future prospects are delightful. Before George left home in June
+he had made application for a vacant chair in the Medical College and
+presented his credentials and testimonials. He expected nothing from it,
+he said, but would leave me to look out and see what decision was made.
+I had brought with me the news of his appointment. I had also secured
+for him the refusal of an elegant house which had been suddenly vacated
+and offered for sale on account of the failure in business of its owner.
+It was very near our cottage, had lovely surroundings, was beautifully
+furnished, and was to be sold with all its contents. It has now been
+decided between George and Mr. Desmond that it shall be purchased at
+once, and shall become the legal possession of Clara, being paid for out
+of her ample fortune, now under her own control, but not yet taken from
+her uncle's keeping.
+
+Mr. and Mrs. Desmond will take possession of the city mansion, and I
+have no doubt that its state and elegance will be fully kept up. I see
+before me happy times for us all, and at last I think we understand and
+appreciate each other. Our relations being properly and happily
+adjusted, there will be no more "unpleasantness." And I must acknowledge
+that, in spite of past feelings and the little clouds that have flecked
+our sky, sometimes appearing dark and portentous, these happy results
+are due in no small measure to MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.
+
+
+THE END.
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's Note: The table below lists all corrections applied to
+the original text.
+
+p. 039: a hand encased in a mit -> mitt
+p. 128: [added quotes] better than any other of my sex?'
+p. 131: [added quotes] slink away in shame.'
+p. 133: [added quotes] _Que faire?_"
+p. 145: And Besssie sighed -> Bessie
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of That Mother-in-Law of Mine, by Anonymous
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