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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/29601-h.zip b/29601-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..8fbac08 --- /dev/null +++ b/29601-h.zip diff --git a/29601-h/29601-h.htm b/29601-h/29601-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ede4c6c --- /dev/null +++ b/29601-h/29601-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,813 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of See?, by Edward G. Robles, Jr. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + + p {margin-top: .75em; text-align: justify; margin-bottom: .75em;} + h1,h2 {text-align: center;} + hr {width: 45%; margin: 2em auto; visibility: hidden;} + body {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .rgt {text-align: right;} + .figcenter {margin: 0 auto; text-align: left; width: 600px;} + img {border: none;} + a:link,a:visited {text-decoration: none;} + p.cap:first-letter {float: left; margin-right: .05em; padding-top: .05em; font-size: 300%; line-height: .8em; width: auto;} + .dcap {text-transform: uppercase;} + .figt {float: left; clear: left; margin: 15px; padding: 0; width: 148px;} + .trn {border: solid 1px; margin: 3em 15%; min-height: 230px;} + .trn p {margin: 15px;} + .bk1 {margin: 2em auto; width: 24em; line-height: 2em;} + .sp1 {margin-left: 6em;} + .sp2 {margin-left: 4em;} + + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of See?, by Edward G. Robles + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: See? + +Author: Edward G. Robles + +Illustrator: William Ashman + +Release Date: August 3, 2009 [EBook #29601] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEE? *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/001.jpg" width="600" height="399" alt="" title="" /> +<b>Illustrated by ASHMAN</b></div> + +<h1><big><i>SEE?</i></big></h1> + +<h2><small>By EDWARD G. ROBLES, JR.</small></h2> + +<div class="bk1"><i><b><big><span class="sp1">Seeing things? Don't go to an</span><br /> +analyst—see the Commission—<br /> +<span class="sp2">if it doesn't find you first!</span></big></b></i></div> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Well</span>, there was this +song a few years back. +You know the one. Phil +Harris singing about a thing that +you couldn't get rid of, no matter +what you did, a thing so repulsive +it made you a social outcast. +Never thought I'd see one, +though. Dirty Pete found it.</p> + +<p>Don't rush me. I'll tell you +about it.</p> + +<p>We're hobos, understand? Now +a hobo is a different breed of cat +than you think. Oh, people are +getting educated to the idea that +a hobo will work and move on, +whereas a tramp will mooch and +move on, and a bum will mooch +and hang around, but you still +find folks who are ignorant +enough to call us bums.</p> + +<p>We're aristocrats, yes sir. If +it wasn't for us, you wouldn't +enjoy half the little luxuries you +do. Oh, don't believe me—talk to +your experts. They know that, +without the migratory worker, +most of the crops wouldn't get +harvested. And, if I talk highfalutin' +once in a while, don't +blame me. Associating with the +Professor improves any man's +vocabulary, in spite of themselves.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">There</span> was the four of us, +see? We'd been kicking +around together for longer than +I care to think about. There was +the Professor and Dirty Pete and +Sacks and Eddie. I'm Eddie. +Nicknames are funny things. +Take the Professor—he was a +real professor once, until he began +hitting the bottle. Well, he +lost his job, his home, his family, +and his rep.</p> + +<p>One morning, he wakes up on +Skid Row without a nickel in his +jeans and the great-granddaddy +of all hangovers. He comes to a +decision. Either he could make +a man out of hisself, or he could +die. Right then, dying looked like +the easiest thing to do, but it +took more guts that he had to +jump off a bridge, so he went on +the Road instead.</p> + +<p>After he got over his shakes—and +he sure had 'em bad—he +decided that, if he never took +another drink, it'd be the best +thing for him. So he didn't. He +had a kind of dignity, though, +and he could really talk, so he +and I teamed up during the wheat +harvest in South Dakota. We +made all the stops and, when +we hit the peaches in California +we picked up Sacks and Dirty +Pete.</p> + +<p>Sacks got his monicker because +he never wore shoes. He claimed +that gunny-sacks, wrapped +around his feet and shins, gave +as much protection and more +freedom, and they were more +comfortable, besides costing nix. +Since we mostly bought our shoes +at the dumps, at four bits a pair, +you might say he was stretching +a point, but that's one of the +laws of the Road. You don't step +on the other guy's corns, and he +don't step on yours.</p> + +<p>So guess why Dirty Pete was +called that. Yeah. He hadn't +taken a bath since 'forty-six, +when he got out of the army, and +he didn't figure on ever takin' +another. He was a damn' good +worker, though, and nobody'd +ever try anything with him +around. He wasn't any bigger +than a Mack truck. Besides, he +was quiet.</p> + +<p>Oh, sure. You wanna know +why I'm on the Road. Well, it +happens I like whiskers. Trouble +is, they're not fashionable, unless +you're some kind of an artist, +which I'm not. You know, social +disapproval. I didn't have the +guts to face it, so I lit out. Nobody +cares on the Road what +you do, so I was okay with my +belt-length beard.</p> + +<p>A beard's an enjoyable thing, +too. There's a certain kind of +thrill you get from stroking it, +and feeling its silkiness run +through your fingers. And besides, +combing it, and keeping it +free of burrs, snarls and tangles, +sort of keeps your spare moments +so full that the devil don't find +any idle time to put your hands +to work in. If you ask me, I +think that the razor has been the +downfall of society. And I'm willing +to bet I have plenty of company +with the same opinion.</p> + +<p>Show me a man who doesn't let +his beard grow once in a while, +even if it's only for a day or so, +and you've shown me a man who +thinks more of social pressure +than he does of his own comfort. +And show me a man who says +he likes to shave, and you've +shown me a man who is either a +liar or is asking for punishment.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">That's</span> enough about us. Now +to get on with the story. You +know, if the Professor hadn't been +around, there would probably +have been murder done over the +Thing, or at least our little group +would've split up, 'cause none of +us had the brains to figure it out.</p> + +<p>Pete's an expert scrounger. His +eyes are sharp, and he's always +on the lookout for a salable piece +of goods, even if he can only get +a nickel for it. One night, we're +sitting in a jungle near Sacramento, +trying to figure out whether +to go north for the grapes, +or south for the grapes. They're +all over California, you know, +and they pay pretty well.</p> + +<p>Pete, as usual, is out looking, +and pretty soon he comes back +into camp with this thing in his +hand. He handles it like it was +hot, but he's pleased he's found +it, because he hopes to merchandise +it. So he walks up to me, and +says, "Hey, Eddie. What'll you +gimme for this, huh?"</p> + +<p>I say, "Get that to hell away +from me! I'll give you a swift +kick in the pants if you don't."</p> + +<p>He looks real surprised. He +says, "Huh, I thought maybe you +could use it."</p> + +<p>I get up on my feet. I say, real +low and careful, because maybe +he's joking, "Look, Pete—you +oughtta know by this time, I <i>like</i> +my beard. Now will you go +away?"</p> + +<p>He mooches off, looking like +I'd kicked him, and goes over +to the Professor. I figure maybe +the Professor could use it, so I +listen. The Prof looks like he was +being offered a live rattlesnake.</p> + +<p>"No, thanks, really, Pete. I +have resolved never to touch it +again. I hope you don't mind."</p> + +<p>Well, for some reason Pete +don't look pleased, and he's real +unhappy by this time, but he +tries again.</p> + +<p>"Hey, Sacks, what'll you gimme +for—"</p> + +<p>He don't get a chance to finish. +I'm only listening with half an +ear, but I'm so surprised I stand +up like I been stuck with a pin. +Sacks says, "Whatinell would I +do with a left shoe? You know I +don't use 'em."</p> + +<p>Pete looks at the thing in his +hand, and the Prof and I go over +there.</p> + +<p>The Professor looks at the +thing real carefully and speaks +up. "Say, Pete, look at that thing +and tell me what it is."</p> + +<p>"Why, it's a brand new bar of +soap, of course. I don't use it, +but one of you might want to. +What's all the beef about?"</p> + +<p>"Soap?" I say. "Why, you poor +fish, something must have happened +to your eyes. When you +offered me that straight razor, I +thought you'd gone off your nut. +Now I <i>know</i> it."</p> + +<p>The Professor interrupts. He +looks excited. "Wait a minute, +Eddie. To me that item looks exactly +like a full fifth of Old Harvester, +100 proof. Used to be my +favorite, before I became an abstainer. +To Pete, it looks like soap. +To you, it looks like a straight +razor while, to Sacks, it resembles +a shoe. Does that give you any +ideas?"</p> + +<p>"Means we're all having hallucinations," +I grunts.</p> + +<p>"Exactly. Pete, was there anything +else in the location where +you found this thing?"</p> + +<p>"Nothing but some scrap tin."</p> + +<p>"Show us."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">So</span>, the four of us wanders +across the field and, sure +enough, there was this silly-looking +object lying there. It was +about eighteen or twenty feet +across, and two feet thick, and I +nearly made a fool of myself. I +almost screamed when I saw six +straight razors <i>crawling</i> out of +a hole in its side.</p> + +<p>The Professor whistled. "Grab +them, boys. We want them."</p> + +<p>Well, Sacks sacrifices one of his +sacks, and we rounded up fifteen +of the useless things. We went +back to the jungle, where the Prof +explained it.</p> + +<p>"Look, fellows, suppose you +were a being from another planet +that wanted to take over here. +Suppose, further, that you were +rather small and relatively defenseless. +To finish the suppositions, +suppose you were a positive +telepath, with not only the +ability to read minds, but also the +ability to create visual and tactile +hallucinations. How would you +protect yourself?"</p> + +<p>A light began to dawn, but I +didn't say a word about it.</p> + +<p>The Professor continued. "If +you could do all this, you'd make +yourself look just as useless as +possible. To Pete, you'd look like +a bar of soap, because he never +uses the stuff. To Sacks, you'd +look like a shoe, because his dislike +for shoes is evident in his +mind. To Eddie, who is proud of +his beard, you'd look like a razor, +while to me, you'd look like a bottle +of booze, because I dislike its +effects intensely. In other words, +you would assume an imposture +that would assure you'd never be +picked up, except by someone like +Pete, who would see in you a +salable item, even though not a +usable one. It may be, Pete, that +you have saved the world."</p> + +<p>So, that's the story. We're all +still on the Road, of course, but +now we are the "Commission for +the Investigation of Extraterrestrial +Invasion." Congress named +us as that, when we got the data +to them.</p> + +<p>Now, Mr. Mayor, you see our +problem. Have your citizens seen +anything around that they don't +want? If they have, we want to +look at it.</p> + +<p class="rgt"><b>—EDWARD G. ROBLES, JR.</b></p> + +<div class="trn"><div class="figt"><a href="images/002-2.jpg"><img src="images/002-1.jpg" width="148" height="200" alt="" title="" /></a></div> + +<p><big><b>Transcriber's Note:</b></big></p> + +<p>This etext was produced from <i>Galaxy Science Fiction</i> June 1954. +Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. +copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and +typographical errors have been corrected without note.</p></div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of See?, by Edward G. 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Robles + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: See? + +Author: Edward G. Robles + +Illustrator: William Ashman + +Release Date: August 3, 2009 [EBook #29601] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEE? *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + +[Illustration: Illustrated by ASHMAN] + + +_SEE?_ + +By EDWARD G. ROBLES, JR. + + + _Seeing things? Don't go to an analyst--see + the Commission--if it doesn't find you first!_ + + +Well, there was this song a few years back. You know the one. Phil +Harris singing about a thing that you couldn't get rid of, no matter +what you did, a thing so repulsive it made you a social outcast. Never +thought I'd see one, though. Dirty Pete found it. + +Don't rush me. I'll tell you about it. + +We're hobos, understand? Now a hobo is a different breed of cat than +you think. Oh, people are getting educated to the idea that a hobo will +work and move on, whereas a tramp will mooch and move on, and a bum will +mooch and hang around, but you still find folks who are ignorant enough +to call us bums. + +We're aristocrats, yes sir. If it wasn't for us, you wouldn't enjoy half +the little luxuries you do. Oh, don't believe me--talk to your experts. +They know that, without the migratory worker, most of the crops wouldn't +get harvested. And, if I talk highfalutin' once in a while, don't blame +me. Associating with the Professor improves any man's vocabulary, in +spite of themselves. + + * * * * * + +There was the four of us, see? We'd been kicking around together for +longer than I care to think about. There was the Professor and Dirty +Pete and Sacks and Eddie. I'm Eddie. Nicknames are funny things. Take +the Professor--he was a real professor once, until he began hitting the +bottle. Well, he lost his job, his home, his family, and his rep. + +One morning, he wakes up on Skid Row without a nickel in his jeans and +the great-granddaddy of all hangovers. He comes to a decision. Either he +could make a man out of hisself, or he could die. Right then, dying +looked like the easiest thing to do, but it took more guts that he had +to jump off a bridge, so he went on the Road instead. + +After he got over his shakes--and he sure had 'em bad--he decided that, +if he never took another drink, it'd be the best thing for him. So he +didn't. He had a kind of dignity, though, and he could really talk, so +he and I teamed up during the wheat harvest in South Dakota. We made all +the stops and, when we hit the peaches in California we picked up Sacks +and Dirty Pete. + +Sacks got his monicker because he never wore shoes. He claimed that +gunny-sacks, wrapped around his feet and shins, gave as much protection +and more freedom, and they were more comfortable, besides costing nix. +Since we mostly bought our shoes at the dumps, at four bits a pair, you +might say he was stretching a point, but that's one of the laws of the +Road. You don't step on the other guy's corns, and he don't step on +yours. + +So guess why Dirty Pete was called that. Yeah. He hadn't taken a bath +since 'forty-six, when he got out of the army, and he didn't figure on +ever takin' another. He was a damn' good worker, though, and nobody'd +ever try anything with him around. He wasn't any bigger than a Mack +truck. Besides, he was quiet. + +Oh, sure. You wanna know why I'm on the Road. Well, it happens I like +whiskers. Trouble is, they're not fashionable, unless you're some kind +of an artist, which I'm not. You know, social disapproval. I didn't have +the guts to face it, so I lit out. Nobody cares on the Road what you do, +so I was okay with my belt-length beard. + +A beard's an enjoyable thing, too. There's a certain kind of thrill you +get from stroking it, and feeling its silkiness run through your +fingers. And besides, combing it, and keeping it free of burrs, snarls +and tangles, sort of keeps your spare moments so full that the devil +don't find any idle time to put your hands to work in. If you ask me, I +think that the razor has been the downfall of society. And I'm willing +to bet I have plenty of company with the same opinion. + +Show me a man who doesn't let his beard grow once in a while, even if +it's only for a day or so, and you've shown me a man who thinks more of +social pressure than he does of his own comfort. And show me a man who +says he likes to shave, and you've shown me a man who is either a liar +or is asking for punishment. + + * * * * * + +That's enough about us. Now to get on with the story. You know, if the +Professor hadn't been around, there would probably have been murder done +over the Thing, or at least our little group would've split up, 'cause +none of us had the brains to figure it out. + +Pete's an expert scrounger. His eyes are sharp, and he's always on the +lookout for a salable piece of goods, even if he can only get a nickel +for it. One night, we're sitting in a jungle near Sacramento, trying to +figure out whether to go north for the grapes, or south for the grapes. +They're all over California, you know, and they pay pretty well. + +Pete, as usual, is out looking, and pretty soon he comes back into camp +with this thing in his hand. He handles it like it was hot, but he's +pleased he's found it, because he hopes to merchandise it. So he walks +up to me, and says, "Hey, Eddie. What'll you gimme for this, huh?" + +I say, "Get that to hell away from me! I'll give you a swift kick in the +pants if you don't." + +He looks real surprised. He says, "Huh, I thought maybe you could use +it." + +I get up on my feet. I say, real low and careful, because maybe he's +joking, "Look, Pete--you oughtta know by this time, I _like_ my beard. +Now will you go away?" + +He mooches off, looking like I'd kicked him, and goes over to the +Professor. I figure maybe the Professor could use it, so I listen. The +Prof looks like he was being offered a live rattlesnake. + +"No, thanks, really, Pete. I have resolved never to touch it again. I +hope you don't mind." + +Well, for some reason Pete don't look pleased, and he's real unhappy by +this time, but he tries again. + +"Hey, Sacks, what'll you gimme for--" + +He don't get a chance to finish. I'm only listening with half an ear, +but I'm so surprised I stand up like I been stuck with a pin. Sacks +says, "Whatinell would I do with a left shoe? You know I don't use 'em." + +Pete looks at the thing in his hand, and the Prof and I go over there. + +The Professor looks at the thing real carefully and speaks up. "Say, +Pete, look at that thing and tell me what it is." + +"Why, it's a brand new bar of soap, of course. I don't use it, but one +of you might want to. What's all the beef about?" + +"Soap?" I say. "Why, you poor fish, something must have happened to your +eyes. When you offered me that straight razor, I thought you'd gone off +your nut. Now I _know_ it." + +The Professor interrupts. He looks excited. "Wait a minute, Eddie. To me +that item looks exactly like a full fifth of Old Harvester, 100 proof. +Used to be my favorite, before I became an abstainer. To Pete, it looks +like soap. To you, it looks like a straight razor while, to Sacks, it +resembles a shoe. Does that give you any ideas?" + +"Means we're all having hallucinations," I grunts. + +"Exactly. Pete, was there anything else in the location where you found +this thing?" + +"Nothing but some scrap tin." + +"Show us." + + * * * * * + +So, the four of us wanders across the field and, sure enough, there was +this silly-looking object lying there. It was about eighteen or twenty +feet across, and two feet thick, and I nearly made a fool of myself. I +almost screamed when I saw six straight razors _crawling_ out of a hole +in its side. + +The Professor whistled. "Grab them, boys. We want them." + +Well, Sacks sacrifices one of his sacks, and we rounded up fifteen of +the useless things. We went back to the jungle, where the Prof explained +it. + +"Look, fellows, suppose you were a being from another planet that wanted +to take over here. Suppose, further, that you were rather small and +relatively defenseless. To finish the suppositions, suppose you were a +positive telepath, with not only the ability to read minds, but also the +ability to create visual and tactile hallucinations. How would you +protect yourself?" + +A light began to dawn, but I didn't say a word about it. + +The Professor continued. "If you could do all this, you'd make yourself +look just as useless as possible. To Pete, you'd look like a bar of +soap, because he never uses the stuff. To Sacks, you'd look like a shoe, +because his dislike for shoes is evident in his mind. To Eddie, who is +proud of his beard, you'd look like a razor, while to me, you'd look +like a bottle of booze, because I dislike its effects intensely. In +other words, you would assume an imposture that would assure you'd never +be picked up, except by someone like Pete, who would see in you a +salable item, even though not a usable one. It may be, Pete, that you +have saved the world." + +So, that's the story. We're all still on the Road, of course, but now we +are the "Commission for the Investigation of Extraterrestrial Invasion." +Congress named us as that, when we got the data to them. + +Now, Mr. Mayor, you see our problem. Have your citizens seen anything +around that they don't want? If they have, we want to look at it. + + --EDWARD G. ROBLES, JR. + + + + +Transcriber's Note: + + This etext was produced from _Galaxy Science Fiction_ June 1954. + Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. + copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and + typographical errors have been corrected without note. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of See?, by Edward G. 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