initial commit of ebook 29596HEADmain

15 files changed, 7701 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6833f05
--- /dev/null
+++ b/.gitattributes
@@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
+* text=auto
+*.txt text
+*.md text
diff --git a/29596-8.txt b/29596-8.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a367a71
--- /dev/null
+++ b/29596-8.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,2146 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Funny Big Socks, by Sarah L. Barrow
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Funny Big Socks
+       Being the Fifth Book of the Series
+
+Author: Sarah L. Barrow
+
+Release Date: August 3, 2009 [EBook #29596]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FUNNY BIG SOCKS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Edwards, Emmy and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: DR. MUMBUDGET'S DOOR-PLATE.]
+
+
+
+
+THE SOCK STORIES,
+
+BY "AUNT FANNY'S" DAUGHTER.
+
+FUNNY BIG SOCKS:
+
+BEING
+
+THE FIFTH BOOK OF THE SERIES.
+
+BY
+
+"AUNT FANNY'S" DAUGHTER,
+
+THE AUTHOR OF "THE LITTLE WHITE ANGEL."
+
+          NEW YORK:
+          LEAVITT & ALLEN, 21 & 23 MERCER ST.
+          1863.
+
+
+
+
+   ENTERED, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1862, by
+
+   S. L. BARROW,
+
+   In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States
+      for the
+   Southern District of New York.
+
+   JOHN F. TROW,
+   PRINTER, STEREOTYPER, AND ELECTROTYPER,
+   50 Greene Street, New York.
+
+
+
+
+                   TO
+
+           THAT GENIAL GOOD MAN
+
+          AND PROFOUND PHILOSOPHER,
+
+          THE REV. DR. S. I. PRIME,
+
+             I DEDICATE THIS
+
+                  BOOK.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS OF VOL. V.
+
+
+                                        PAGE
+
+          STORM STORIES                    7
+
+          THE CABBAGES                    42
+
+          THE GOLD STONE                  75
+
+          THE PHILOSOPHERS' TOUR         108
+
+
+
+
+STORM STORIES.
+
+
+FIRST EVENING.
+
+HOW it did rain, to be sure! Up the long street, and down the long
+street nothing was to be seen but large mud puddles, while the gutter
+ran like a little river, and gushed with a loud sound into the sewer
+mouth.
+
+That was a rain indeed! but in the warm rooms it was comfortable enough.
+Books and pretty pictures lined the walls on all sides but one, where
+the large window was, the recess filled with blooming flowers; they
+smelt so sweetly!
+
+There, at a table that was covered with a green cloth, sat a literary
+man. His head was bowed upon his arms; and when he raised his face, one
+saw that he was so sad and pale! The poor literary man was quite
+unhappy.
+
+If one could have crept into his heart (like him who owned the "Galoshes
+of Fortune"), one would have seen that his thoughts ran, "Ah me! how
+unhappy I am. I write books about the good and the beautiful, but nobody
+buys them; no one cares to read of such things. If I could but tell them
+a tale, now, something lively or pathetic, like the poet Baggesen or our
+own Hoffman, that they all like. Nay, then, what a weary life it is!"
+and he leaned back in his arm chair, and closed his eyes.
+
+Suddenly, something came hissing down the chimney into the stove. It was
+two or three rain drops driven in by the wind. Something else appeared
+to have entered with them, for there was a rustle and breeze in the
+chamber, and then the literary man heard a whisper quite close to his
+ear.
+
+"Thou silly fellow!" cried the wind, for that it was, "to sit in thy
+chamber with closed doors, waiting for the story to come to thee! Nay,
+then, what is there in thy books half so clever or amusing as what one
+sees in real life? Listen, now, and I will tell thee what I saw one
+moonlight night as I blew over this wide German land."
+
+
+THE STORY OF THE WIND.
+
+IN summer, all the world--of Leipsic--goes out of town, to Baden or Ems.
+Those who can afford it run over the Alps, to sunny Italy; but in
+winter--ah! then it is very different!
+
+One is glad enough, then, to remain at home by the warm stove; or if one
+goes out, one must be well wrapped up in furs and cloaks.
+
+The little boys slide and skate on the frozen river; the poorer folks go
+about in sledges, and the rich in splendid sleighs, with white fur robes
+and capering horses, which have little bells tied to their manes and
+tails.
+
+Just such a sleigh as this stood, one bright moonlight night, before the
+door of the Burgomaster Von Geirstein, in the good town of Leipsic. The
+whole family were going in a body out of town, and now the hall door
+opened, and forth came the fat and stupid Burgomaster himself, with his
+fat and silly wife on his arm, followed by their pretty, blue-eyed
+daughter, Matilda, and her lover, Walther Von Blumenwald, a thriving
+young merchant. Her brother, Max, came last, a merry, good-natured young
+fellow, but who, certainly, was not very wise.
+
+Max took the driver's place; the others seated themselves within the
+large sleigh, and tucked the warm fur robes around them, and then, with
+a crack of the whip, and a loud huzzah from the young men, the sleigh
+glided swiftly away.
+
+About five miles from the town, in the midst of the forest, was a large
+inn of the better sort, which had lately become a favorite resort of the
+wealthy who went sleighing in the winter. Balls, even, were given there,
+and there one got the most delicious mulled wine and Westphalia hams,
+and all sorts of ale, "Bremen," "Prysing," "Emser ale," even "Brunswick
+Mumme." To this hotel, then, our party were bound.
+
+Merrily rang the bells, swiftly flew the sleigh over the frozen snow,
+and as they passed out at the city gates, the whole party broke into a
+joyous glee:
+
+          "Listen, listen, listen to the merry sleigh bells!
+            How they jingle, jingle, ever blithe and ever clear,
+          With a tintinnabulation that so musically wells
+            As it thrills, and it thrills upon the ear!
+                        Every dancing little note
+                        Seems to gurgle from the throat
+          Of a bird, that in its happy song so eloquently tells
+                        The joy it is to bound
+                        O'er the cold and frozen ground,
+          To the ringing and the clinging of the bells!
+
+          "Listen, listen, listen to the merry sleigh bells!
+            How they jingle, jingle, as the horses dash along;
+          What a story of our gladness their enticing music tells
+            As it chimes and it rhymes with the song!
+                        Such a rollicking delight
+                        Bubbles out upon the night
+          As their joy-creating burthen over hill and valley swells.
+                        Every voice must join the tune
+                        As we skim beneath the moon
+          To the tinkling and the twinkling of the bells!"
+
+The sleigh had now turned out of the high road, and entered the forest.
+For some time the way lay plain before them, but at length came a fork,
+where two roads met.
+
+"Now, then," exclaimed Max, "which way? Blumenwald, thou hast been to
+Olè's before--must I take the right hand or the left?"
+
+"Upon my word, I have forgotten!" exclaimed Walther. "It was a dark
+night when I drove out with my cousins; but, it appears to me, upon the
+whole, that we took the right hand road."
+
+"Well, we can only try," said Max; "at least, if we don't get to Olè's,
+we shall have had a merry sleigh ride."
+
+He shook the reins, and the impatient horses darted off; but, my stars!
+they had taken the wrong road! Deeper grew the wood; the roughness of
+the path momentarily increased; the trees became so thick that the
+moonlight no longer penetrated them, and Max at length stopped his
+horses once more, and gazed around him in bewilderment.
+
+"Potstausend!" exclaimed the Burgomaster; "where has the boy taken us? I
+tell you what, mein sonne, thou hadst best turn back, for we shall never
+get to Olè's to-night."
+
+"And thy sister will take her death of cold!" cried the Frau Von
+Geirstein, while Walther looked anxiously at the fair Matilda, who only
+smiled up at him, and drew her fur-lined hood more closely about her
+face.
+
+Just as they were about to turn back, they heard a sound of sleigh-bells
+behind, and presently a small sleigh approached them, drawn by a
+spirited horse.
+
+Max, without more ado, hailed the stranger, and begged him to set them,
+if he could, on the road to Olè's.
+
+The new comer bowed courteously to the ladies, and replied, "I shall be
+most happy to direct you thither, my respectable friends. In short,
+then, you follow the road before you for a time, then turn to your
+right; next, pursue your way in a southeast direction for a mile; next,
+turn toward the northwest, and then----"
+
+"What, sir!" interrupted Max, "do you suppose we can go to all points
+of the compass at once? What do you mean by your northwest and
+southeast?"
+
+"Potstausend! is the fellow making fun of us?" exclaimed the
+Burgomaster.
+
+"Surely the Herr Von Geirstein cannot suppose I would be guilty of so
+great an impertinence!" exclaimed the stranger. "It is true, the road is
+somewhat obscure; may I not also have the pleasure of driving you to
+Olè's?"
+
+"We thank you--you are most kind," replied the mollified Burgomaster,
+who never doubted for a moment that his vast importance caused him to be
+known to all the world; "but what will become of your sledge?"
+
+"Oh, I don't fear for the sledge--that can remain here among the
+underwood; and my horse can be attached in front of yours."
+
+This arrangement was soon effected, and the stranger, who was so muffled
+up in fur cap and coat, that scarcely a feature could be distinguished,
+mounted beside Max, and seized the reins.
+
+Donnerwetter! how he shouted at the horses! cracking his whip, and
+calling them all manner of strange names. "Now, then, pig with a wooden
+head! Get along with you, toad of serpents! To the mischief with the
+whole team!" till the foam flew on all sides, the iron-clad heels of the
+steeds rang like hammer upon anvil on the frozen ground, and sparks
+scintillated in the air!
+
+Meanwhile, however, the effect of this rapid motion on the Burgomaster's
+family was anything but exhilarating. Now that the bustle of setting out
+was at an end, they one and all began to feel afraid of their strange
+guide, and to think there was something more than common in their
+adventure.
+
+"He's a very odd-looking man, after all," whispered the Burgomaster's
+wife; "how do we know what sort of a fellow he is, and if he is taking
+us to Olè's at all? I, for my part, believe he's in league with some
+robber band, and we shall all be murdered."
+
+"Potstausend! it looks very much like it!" exclaimed the Burgomaster,
+who, although so big a man, was mighty chicken-hearted. "I wish Max had
+not been so confoundedly hasty in accepting his advice."
+
+"I beg thy pardon there, father-in-law," returned Walther; "it was thou
+who bade him come in."
+
+The Burgomaster was about to make some peppery reply, when Max suddenly
+broke upon the whispered conversation by exclaiming:
+
+"Since you are so good, sir, as to drive us, perhaps you will inform us
+to whom we are obliged."
+
+But the stranger, who, before this, had been the noisiest of the party,
+appeared to have become suddenly dumb, for he answered not a word.
+
+"Come, sir," repeated Walther, "tell us who you are."
+
+No answer.
+
+Max now half jumped from his seat, exclaiming, "But we insist on
+knowing, sir, and, furthermore, I should like to know if you are taking
+us to Olè's or not."
+
+The stranger turned at this, and with a smile that displayed his
+glittering teeth, replied:
+
+"My good people, I am taking you just where you are destined to go. As
+to my name, that is my affair. Remember, your safety depends on me;
+certainly, you had better not provoke me, or----" here his speech
+suddenly came to an end, and a fresh series of yells followed to the
+excited horses, which all this time were tearing along as though a troop
+of fiends were in pursuit.
+
+"It must be the Evil One himself!" cried the Burgomaster, trembling in
+every limb, while the ladies screamed and clung together.
+
+"Not quite so bad as that, I hope," said Walther, half laughing, yet
+excited, and, to tell the truth, somewhat alarmed also.
+
+"We are all fools if we allow this thing to go on!" shouted Max, who had
+suddenly recovered his spirits. "Walther, thou wilt stand by me. Give me
+the reins, sir, or hold them longer at your peril!"
+
+As he spoke, he endeavored to seize the reins, while Walther stood up in
+the sleigh and grasped the whip.
+
+All at once the stranger let fall the reins, and as they trailed on the
+ground, he snatched the whip from Walther's hand, gave a sudden leap
+into the air, and vaulted on the back of the near horse, where he sat at
+ease, and drove postillion, without their being able to help themselves.
+
+"Alas, we have no arms!" groaned the Burgomaster; "we may as well be
+resigned to our fate. Kiss me, my children; you may never kiss your old
+papa again!"
+
+On this, the whole quartette fell to weeping, blowing their noses most
+earnestly from time to time, when, just as their grief was at its
+height, and they were fairly sobbing in each other's arms, a sound of
+music broke upon their ears! The next moment lights gleamed through the
+trees, the sleigh took a sharp turn, passed through an open gate, and
+drew up before the very door of--Olè's! For, in reality, both roads led
+to the inn, although one was much more intricate and less frequented
+than the other.
+
+The Von Geirsteins were for a moment too much astounded to speak. Then
+the mysterious driver, swinging himself lightly off his horse, and
+doffing his fur cap, showing them a face not only handsome, but
+perfectly familiar to them, exclaimed:
+
+"You see, my dear friends, that it was neither a bandit nor His Satanic
+Majesty who drove you by the nearest road to a robber's castle or the
+lower regions, but your very good neighbor, Fritz Von Eisenfeldt, who
+has had at once the pleasure and amusement of taking you safe and sound
+to Olè's, after all!"
+
+As the wind uttered these last words, it whisked up the chimney and
+disappeared. The literary man sat upright in his chair with a sudden
+start, and opened his eyes wide.
+
+"Good heavens!" he cried, "have I been dreaming, or has the wind really
+related the tale?" He could not at all tell this, but he remembered
+every word of the story, and wrote it on--yes! this very piece of
+paper, where you now read it!
+
+
+SECOND EVENING.
+
+THE following evening the literary man could not but think of the advice
+of the wind. He went to the window, and looked out on the street, to see
+if there might not be a story there.
+
+The houses opposite were as handsome as on this side of the way, and
+exactly like them; the gas lamps burned brilliantly, and everything
+appeared as genteel and stupid as could possibly be conceived. "There's
+not a story to be met with in this part of the town," thought the
+literary man. "I must go out, and see if I can find one elsewhere."
+
+The snow flakes were rapidly falling from the sky, but the literary man
+wrapped his warm cloak around him, and went bravely out. It is not every
+one who has courage to go out in the snow! that is, the snow at
+Friedrichshafen. It is sure to be so wet and cold, with large bits of
+icy hail among it, covering the ground with a slippery compound, that
+one cannot step upon without danger of falling.
+
+However, out he went, and slipped and scrambled along the pavement.
+Kribbedy, krabbledy, plump! down he sat on a neighbor's doorstep; not
+without exclaiming, "Potstausend!"
+
+As he sat there with a rueful countenance, the thought passed through
+his mind, "If, now, the wind would but give me the least idea how to
+begin, I might compose a tale while I wait for a hackney coach, for walk
+I won't!" and he looked up and down the street, but no coach came in
+sight.
+
+All at once it was as though a merry voice whispered in his ear--yes,
+the literary man felt sure that the snow said to him "S-o-o! my good
+friend, the wind has sent thee to me! Fie upon thee, that thou canst not
+compose a tale without help, for all thy learning! Well, pay attention,
+and I will tell thee some of the frolics of my merry cousin, the Frost.
+Now, listen."
+
+And the literary man listened with all his ears, and quite forgot that
+he was looking for a hackney coach, and that he was sitting on the steps
+of his neighbor, the Herr Hartman.
+
+
+THE STORY OF THE SNOW, ABOUT CAPTAIN JACK.
+
+THE children were hurrying homeward on a cold winter's evening, from the
+forest, where they had been binding fagots. As they scampered along,
+some one seized upon them from behind and nipped their ears sharply.
+"Fie, ugly Captain Jack!" cried they; "so thou art at work again! one
+may easily see that!" and they would have pursued their spiteful enemy;
+but he was already gone, and they were now obliged to hasten onward.
+
+Captain Jack had slipped back to the forest, and thrown himself
+stealthily on the ground, laughing to see their discomfiture. The moon
+shone on the spot where he lay, and then all the dried grass appeared
+white and sparkling, as though it were covered with glistening spray. At
+one moment one saw him lying gazing at one with laughing eyes; the next,
+it seemed as though only the hoar dew rested there, and glittered in the
+moonlight.
+
+"Bur-r-r!" growled the north wind, as he flew through the forest.
+"Hollo! Captain Jack; many thanks for the Ice King's message which thou
+broughtest me. Come, wilt thou ride on my back in return?"
+
+"Many thanks!" replied Captain Jack; "I prefer to travel on foot, and
+amuse myself by the way."
+
+"Well, be that as thou wilt!" replied the wind, and he flew off in a
+huff; for he considered that he had made a very honorable offer, and had
+been slighted.
+
+But Captain Jack ran gayly from the forest; taking long strides over the
+grass, and sowing it with little white pearls, breathing on the bare
+branches of the trees, and sheathing them in glittering mail, pouncing
+slyly on stray wayfarers, and pinching their ears and noses till they
+roared again! Then Captain Jack laughed; it sounded like the sharp crack
+of a pistol through the still air.
+
+By the banks of the river hares were creeping, and complaining bitterly
+of the cold. "Ah!" said they, "if we could but find a warm hole to creep
+into, or if we had but thick, curly coats, like the bears!"
+
+"Do you think I have a warm coat to give any one?" quoth Captain Jack,
+and he breathed on their long whiskers, which now stood quite stiffly.
+"Oh hute-tute-tute-tu!" cried they, hopping up and down with pain; "oh
+my toes! my poor toes!"
+
+Captain Jack also danced with merriment; he had neither soul nor
+feeling, and couldn't understand being sorry for any one.
+
+Over the river, the lights of the town were gleaming. They shone like
+stars that had stooped a little lower from heaven. Captain Jack skipped
+lightly across the waves rolling so softly from shore to shore, and as
+he passed, the water smoothed out under his feet; it was as though some
+one had placed upon it a thin sheet of glass.
+
+He ran through the silent streets of the town, where all the world had
+gone to sleep, and peered in at many casements. Sometimes he beheld the
+good folks dreaming, with the hard, ugly frown still on their faces
+which they had worn when they were awake; and then he slipped into the
+room--yes, a key hole was large enough for him to creep through if he
+chose! and breathed upon them so, that they shivered in their beds, in
+spite of the warm eider down they had tucked around them. "The window
+was open on a crack," they would say on the following day; but it needed
+not a crack for Captain Jack to enter if he thought they deserved it!
+
+In other chambers he beheld lovely little children, with the faces of
+angels; or venerable grandsires; with their snowy hair floating over the
+pillow, and then he drew the most beautiful pictures on the window pane,
+to amuse them when they should wake. He crept slyly into the larders of
+thrifty housewives, and, with a touch, made chickens and ducks hanging
+there, quite stiff and tasteless; he skipped to the cistern, and
+magically rendered the pump handle immovable; he ran about the streets
+and played tricks with the bright gas lamps, and they went out, as
+though a puff of wind had blown over them. And, last of all, he ran
+against a stout Burgomaster, returning homeward from a merry supper, and
+so pinched the end of his red bottle-nose, that it tingled again!
+
+"I'll have you taken to prison, you scoundrel!" roared the Burgomaster;
+but how was he to find Captain Jack? Only where a large fire was raging
+did Captain Jack shrink away in haste; heat did not seem to agree with
+him, for he looked strangely small and shrunken.
+
+He was now weary of the city, and hastened lightly to the seaside. In
+the harbor ships lay at anchor, ice-bound; and on one of these a young
+sailor was keeping watch for thieves; but he saw not Captain Jack coming
+softly on board, and peering over his shoulder to see what was written
+on the paper he held in his hand. A lantern hung from the mast and shed
+a feeble light on the tear-blistered page, where the pious mother
+implored a blessing on her son. As he read, the young sailor also wept;
+but Captain Jack had no taste for tears. He breathed on the letter, and
+the sparkling drops that the reader let fall became beads of ice. The
+sailor hastily turned, and for a moment fancied he beheld the brilliant
+eyes of Captain Jack gazing upon him; but the next instant he saw only
+two glittering icicles, which had formed on the ropes.
+
+The sea gulls flew in circles round the vessel; late as it was, they
+still hoped something might be thrown out. Captain Jack caught them by
+the long feathers of their wings, and they tumbled on the deck, and
+hopped stiffly about. "Creesh, creesh!" cried they; "it is that villain,
+Captain Jack, who has served us thus! Ugh! how stiff we are!"
+
+Crick, crack! sounded through the air. It was Captain Jack laughing at
+them.
+
+"How merry it is in winter!" he cried. "It is there my uncle, the Ice
+King, holds his court in the palace at the North Pole. The great
+icebergs come crashing to the very door to do him homage, and the white
+young lady bears dance the Polonaise so gracefully! We don't spend a
+moment in silly thought about anything--no! we frisk and caper about,
+and even my uncle comes down from his throne and hops around, as well as
+his age will permit! and there I have such glorious sport in the long
+moonlight nights!"
+
+"Bur-r-r!" grumbled the north wind, sweeping by. "Thou hadst better
+hurry home, thou silly madcap! The sun is coming, and he is no friend of
+thine!"
+
+"Many thanks!" cried Captain Jack again, with a graceful bow; "I see,
+truly, that my sport is over for to-night!" and he now looked about him
+with mischievous eyes, to see if there were not some last trick that he
+could play before he fled to his forest cave. But there was no time to
+lose, for already the round red sun, winking and blinking sleepily
+behind his bed curtains of red clouds, was rising from the sea; and,
+with a sudden leap, Captain Jack flung himself off the ship, and
+hastened away.
+
+The river was all covered with ice; the little hares skipped over it; in
+the town everybody was bawling for water, and the pump handles were hard
+and fast; the Burgomaster had his nose tied up in brown paper and warm
+vinegar; the naughty people went about with cricks in their necks and
+colds in their heads; while every withered grass blade, every branch of
+tree and bush, and every pane in the windows, was covered with the
+beautiful, fantastic, glittering handiwork of CAPTAIN JACK FROST!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+As the story ended, the door above suddenly opened, and the Herr Hartman
+himself came out; and certainly looked somewhat surprised at seeing his
+good friend sitting there on the lower step.
+
+"Why, my dear Herr Ekstein!" he exclaimed. "Is anything the matter?" and
+he hastened down the steps.
+
+The literary man jumped up, and saw the Herr holding out his hand.
+
+"Nay, then, my good friend!" he exclaimed, "I have been hearing the
+merriest tale!"
+
+"But come in! come in!" cried the Herr Hartman. "Some of our friends are
+with us; let us spend a sociable evening together."
+
+With a pleased and happy face the literary man entered the house, and
+the warm room, where the company were assembled; and, amid peals of
+laughter, related both the story of Captain Jack, and that of the
+sleigh-ride to Olè's, with the deuse himself as driver!
+
+
+
+
+THE CABBAGES;
+
+OR, THE DISCREET WIFE.
+
+
+IN a remote part of Swabia there once dwelt a rich peasant, who was
+noted in all the neighborhood for his shrewdness. No one could get the
+better of him in a bargain, and no man managed his farm with such
+extraordinary success. His crops always seemed to flourish when the
+whole country round was desolated with the blight; his hay was sure to
+be got in the very night before a flood swept away the ricks of his
+neighbors; his cows gave the most milk, his oxen were the fattest, and
+his fields the most fruitful of the whole valley. In short, Wise Peter,
+for so he was called, became wealthy year after year, in a way which
+made his less fortunate neighbors shake their heads enviously, declaring
+"that such marvellous good luck could only be obtained by a bargain with
+the Evil One, or the assistance of gnomes." Whenever any of these
+stories came to the ears of Wise Peter, he would smile and say, "Ah! who
+knows, indeed!" but not a word more would he utter.
+
+Among his other possessions, Wise Peter owned an immense field, which
+was planted entirely with cabbages. If one stood in the middle and
+gazed around, nothing but cabbages and more cabbages grew, as far as the
+eye could reach; and as the fat burghers of the town were all extremely
+fond of sauerkraut, these were a source of great profit.
+
+It happened that Peter had a wife as well known for her folly and empty
+head, as her husband for his sagacity; and as he was rightly named Wise
+Peter, so was she equally well called Silly Catharine. How the two came
+to be united was a mystery to every one; for certain it is, that Silly
+Catharine had nothing to recommend her to a sensible man, but her being
+young and pretty.
+
+Now Silly Catharine, who was as witless as she could well be, was
+fonder of cabbages than anything else in the world. She ate sauerkraut
+for breakfast, cabbage soup for dinner, fried cabbage for supper, and
+boiled cabbage for a noonday treat. Not even the constant scoldings of
+her husband, or the jeers of the neighbors at her folly, could distress
+her in any great degree, if she had only plenty of cabbages.
+
+One morning, Wise Peter loaded his wagon with grain and started off to
+sell it at the distant market town, a good day's journey to and from the
+village. "Now, Catharine," he said to his wife as he departed, "I want
+you to keep your wits about you, such as you possess, while I am gone;
+therefore attend to me. You must give orders that the men reap the
+wheat in the large field, take care that the young turkeys do not get
+among the brambles, and, above all, see that no one enters the little
+storeroom. They are going to tax every one who is worth five hundred
+guilders and over; and as I don't choose to give my hard earnings for
+the support of a parcel of lazy nobles and a useless court, I have
+hidden all the money bags there; therefore, be careful that nobody knows
+of it but yourself." So saying, Peter mounted his wagon and drove off.
+Silly Catharine looked after him as long as he could be seen, and then
+went back to the kitchen, determined to show her husband how clever she
+had become.
+
+"Shall I go and tell the goose girl to hunt the turkeys into the coop
+first?" thought she; "or shall I put on the cabbage to boil? I think I
+will set my cabbage on first; it will take but a moment, the turkeys are
+safe till then."
+
+So she went to the larder, got out a fine large cabbage, and hung the
+pot over the fire, that it might boil quickly. The steam of the cabbage
+cooking ascended to her nose with a delicious perfume, and at last, what
+with hanging over the pot enveloped in steam, and the heat of the fire,
+she felt very drowsy, and falling into her chair, was soon soundly
+asleep. She had not slept long before in came the goose girl, whose
+business it was to take charge of the fowls of all sorts, crying out,
+"Oh, mistress! mistress: the turkeys have got among the brambles, and
+cannot get out!"
+
+"Mercy upon us!" exclaimed Catharine, springing up and wringing her
+hands; "what will Peter say to me! He will, doubtless, break his stick
+over my shoulders. If it were not for the cabbage on the fire, I should
+certainly throw myself from the window!" So saying, she ran out into the
+field, but too late; the little turkeys were all in the very middle of a
+bramble bush, which had tangled in their feathers, until it was
+impossible to get them out; beside which, a fox had entered the barn
+yard in the goose girl's absence, by the gate, which she had carelessly
+left swinging open, and carried off the biggest and handsomest Poland
+rooster, that Wise Peter valued even more than the turkeys. About this
+last loss, however, she said nothing, hoping that her mistress wouldn't
+remark it. This, indeed, proved to be the case; for, without noticing
+the absence of poor Chanticleer, Catharine burst into tears, exclaiming,
+"What is to be done? The only way is to cut the bush down."
+
+[Illustration: THE FATE OF POOR CHANTICLEER.]
+
+As she spoke, she seized an axe, and with one blow felled the bush to
+the ground. But what was her horror to find, as she let fall the axe,
+that she had also struck off the heads of every one of the turkeys!
+
+"Oh heavens! what a misfortune!" cried Catharine; "I am the most unlucky
+woman in the world! _Now_ Wise Peter will not leave a whole bone in my
+body! Alas, the turkeys would have sold for eight skillings apiece when
+they had grown fat and big! The only thing that consoles me is, that I
+shall have such a famous supper ready for him. When he tastes my fine
+cabbage soup, I am sure he must forget to be vexed!" There were still,
+however, the bodies of the turkeys to see after; so she took out her
+needle and thread, sewed the heads of the turkeys on their necks, and
+set them upright in the coop, that they might look as though they were
+still alive.
+
+After this precious piece of cleverness, Silly Catharine returned to the
+house to see how her cabbage came on. But she had been gone so long that
+the water in the pot had all boiled away, and the cabbage was burning on
+hard and fast to the bottom of the pot. "Why, bless me! where can the
+water have gone to?" cried Silly Catharine. "It must have all drawn up
+chimney! Nevertheless, it would be a pity to lose it; full of the
+cabbage juice as it was, it might well have been made into soup; and
+Wise Peter has told me a hundred times never to waste anything. I will
+get something to let down the chimney and see if I can dip it up."
+
+So saying, she began to look about for a rope long enough to reach down
+the chimney; but she couldn't find one. All at once her eye fell on the
+bucket standing outside the well. Joyfully rushing to it, she cut the
+rope, and dragging the bucket after her, scrambled out on the roof, and
+began letting it down the chimney. While she was thus engaged, a poor
+little frightened swallow, who had built its nest there, suddenly flew
+up the chimney and darted right in her face. Silly Catharine was so much
+frightened, that she gave a loud scream and let go of the rope. The
+bucket, of course, fell into the middle of the fire, and in a twinkling
+was burnt to cinders. Down from the roof, and into the kitchen, rushed
+Catherine, but too late; nothing save the iron hoops now remained of the
+bucket.
+
+"What shall I do?" cried Silly Catharine. "Not an hour passes but some
+new misfortune occurs. Alas! I am no longer able to draw water for my
+soup! but stay, I think of a way!" So saying, she took the pot from the
+hook, tied a rope to the handle, let it down the well, with the cabbage
+still in it, and when it was filled carried it back to the house, and
+hung it over the fire.
+
+Soon afterward the dairy maid went to draw some water for dinner. She
+could not find the bucket; so she let down a milk pail instead; but
+when she came to taste the water, she tasted also the flavor of the
+cabbage, and ran to her mistress, calling out, "Why, mistress, who has
+been meddling with our fine well? It had once the best water in the
+neighborhood, but now the flavor is precisely that of a greasy, horrible
+cabbage!"
+
+"Nonsense!" cried Silly Catharine, with an air of contempt; "it is all
+your fancy. Don't tell me that water can taste of cabbages!" Her heart
+beat with affright, however, and as soon as the servant maid had left
+the room, she ran in great terror to the wine cellar. "What the servant
+said must have been true," thought she; "and Wise Peter will never
+forgive me when he finds out that I have spoilt the well. I will,
+therefore, pour some wine into the water, to take away the taste of the
+cabbages." So saying, she seized one of the wine barrels, and in the
+strength of terror she managed, with great difficulty, to push it up the
+cellar stairs, and roll it through the kitchen out to the well. Then she
+removed the spile and tilted the cask forward; when out streamed at
+least thirty gallons of the finest Tokay down the well!
+
+Having done this, Silly Catharine hid the barrel away with great
+precipitation; and, determined to leave nothing else undone, she called
+the reapers and bid them go directly to the large field and reap the
+wheat. Then she went back, and began eating her dinner, saying, "Thank
+heaven, I have a good dinner to sit down to, at least; there are always
+cabbages enough!"
+
+Meanwhile, the reapers made ready to go a-field; and before they went,
+one of them drew a bucket of water to carry with them. But no sooner had
+they tasted the water, than they cried out, "'Tis wine! the finest
+wine!" and scarcely able to believe their senses, they drew up bucket
+after bucket of this new liquor, drank till they became drunk, and then
+tumbled senseless among the wheat; for it happened that the well was
+very low, and what they drew was nearly all wine. While they lay there,
+a violent hail storm came on, and in an hour's time the whole of the
+wheat was beaten to the ground, drenched, crushed, and ruined.
+
+Unconscious of this fresh misfortune, Silly Catharine prepared her soup
+for supper, and then, having finished her work, she sat down in the
+front porch and began to knit, feeling as if at last all her troubles
+were over. Presently the gate was opened, and a man entered the garden.
+It was he who was appointed to gather the tax, and knowing Wise Peter to
+be well off, it was to his house that he first came.
+
+"Oh, you are very much mistaken if you think I will pay your outrageous
+tax!" cried Silly Catharine. "No, no! Wise Peter would know better than
+that, and his wife will not be behind hand! He told me before he went
+that he had no money to pay, and if he had, he wouldn't give it to
+support your lazy nobles; so be off with you!"
+
+While Catharine had been making this tirade, the tax gatherer, to whom
+she had unwittingly given a valuable hint, hit upon a new plan by which
+to secure his guilders. So as she paused, out of breath, he exclaimed,
+in a contemptuous tone: "There is no use in making such a noise, good
+woman; I see plainly that I was a fool to suppose the owner of this
+beggarly house was worth five hundred guilders. Five kreutzers would be
+much nearer the mark!"
+
+"What! do you dare to call the house of Wise Peter beggarly!" cried
+Catharine in a rage; "beggarly, indeed! you could never get such a fine
+one if you live a thousand years."
+
+"And I repeat that it is a beggarly house," said the other; "with a
+poor, miserable family in it."
+
+"You don't believe me?" screamed Silly Catharine; "well, then I'll show
+you what you call poor; a pretty thing, indeed, that you should say we
+are a beggarly family!" And, bouncing from her seat, she led the tax
+gatherer to the store room, and dragging the money bags from their
+concealment, she opened them triumphantly, saying, "There, what do you
+call _that_?"
+
+"At least a thousand guilders!" exclaimed the tax gatherer, astonished
+at seeing so much more than he had expected. "So, you refuse to pay the
+tax when you have all this money in the house! I confiscate it all in
+the name of the king, and you may think yourself lucky if you and your
+precious husband (who must be wise, since he married such a wife as
+you), don't get thrown into prison besides." So saying, he snatched up
+the bags of guilders, while Catharine stood staring at him in mute
+horror, and in an instant was out of the house, and gone on his way.
+
+Nearly stunned with this new mishap, Catharine burst into tears, and ran
+down stairs crying, as though her heart would break. "What is to become
+of me," she sobbed, "when Peter comes home? He will certainly kill me
+for having shown the tax gatherer the money! Nevertheless, what could I
+do? It was impossible to have people say that Wise Peter was a beggarly
+creature--I could not allow that!" and, a little re-assured, she dried
+her eyes and went to taste the soup. It was nearly done, and tasted
+deliciously. "Ah!" cried Silly Catharine, "the soup is better than
+usual! It quite repays me for all to think that we still have the finest
+cabbages!"
+
+In the mean time, one of the reapers, who had drank less wine than the
+others, woke up sober, and as soon as he found he could stand on his
+legs, he ran post haste to the village to relate the wonderful tale. The
+place being small and the gossips many, it was not half an hour before
+the whole population knew the extraordinary occurrence that had taken
+place. Even the curé, the magistrate, and the doctor rushed into the
+street to hear the news, and a pretty uproar there was. "Said I not
+truly that Wise Peter was in league with the Evil One?" exclaimed one,
+"for only thus can the miracle of a spring of wine be accounted for."
+"True, true!" cried the listeners; "a wizard he must be; and that of a
+right dangerous sort!"
+
+Just at this moment, the wagon of Wise Peter was seen coming along the
+road. The impatient villagers could not wait for him to approach them,
+but rushed toward the wagon and surrounded it on every side. "How now,
+wretched wizard!" they one and all shouted; "dare you look us in the
+face when we have found you out in your sorceries? Away with you to
+prison!" and, so saying, they laid hold of Wise Peter, dragged him out
+of the wagon, and bore him toward the magistrate. In vain the wretched
+man begged for some explanation, declared a hundred times over that he
+was no wizard, but an honest peasant; they only shouted, tauntingly, "A
+pretty story for a man who turns his well springs into the finest wine!
+no wizard, indeed! say, rather, a wizard of the worst kind!"
+
+With these words, they hauled him before the magistrate, where, again,
+the reaper repeated his story, adding, by way of proof, "If you don't
+believe me, go and see the other reapers; there they lie drunk, where I
+left them."
+
+"You hear what this honest man says," said the magistrate. "We have long
+suspected you of sorcery, but this proves the matter at once. Either you
+must forfeit a hundred guilders, as ordained by law in such cases, or
+you must go to prison."
+
+Almost distracted, Wise Peter exclaimed, "You have seen fit, worthy
+magistrate, to accuse me of a crime of which, so far from being guilty,
+I know nothing whatever. When I left home this morning, I swear the
+water was as fresh and pure as possible. I know that some envious people
+had long accused me of practising black arts, and if Industry and
+Prudence are black arts, I am certainly guilty; but in this matter of
+the water, I am as innocent as my own wife!"
+
+"All this is very fine," answered the magistrate; "but it happens that
+the bewitched water can be produced;" and turning to the reaper, he
+said, "Have you any of this water about you?"
+
+"Yes, worthy magistrate," replied the reaper; "as I came away from the
+field, I filled my flask with what was left, and brought it with me."
+
+The flask was handed to Peter, and no sooner had he tasted it, than he
+fell back aghast, exclaiming, "Good heaven, it _is_ wine! and very like
+Tokay!"
+
+"What! you confess it yourself?" cried the magistrate. "Don't hope,
+then, for mercy! You shall now pay two hundred guilders, or go to prison
+for a year!"
+
+"Mercy! mercy!" cried the unfortunate man, falling on his knees.
+"Consider my family, worthy magistrate; do not disgrace them by sending
+me to prison! I see the water has been changed, but not by me; and
+though you will not believe me, I can solemnly assure you, with perfect
+truth, that I am innocent."
+
+"Pay or go to prison!" answered the magistrate inexorably.
+
+With many tears and groans, the unlucky Peter drew a purse full of
+guilders from his pocket and paid over the whole proceeds of his sale of
+wheat, which only amounted to a hundred and five guilders; the
+magistrate remarking that he would let him off with that if he would
+solemnly swear never to practise the black art any more, and to
+unbewitch his well as speedily as possible. This Peter did, in despair
+of bringing them to reason, and having been thus severely punished for a
+crime he was utterly guiltless of, he mounted his wagon again, and rode
+home in a state of mind that can better be imagined than described.
+
+When he reached his own home he rapped on the window as usual, to warn
+his wife, and Catharine rushed out to meet him, and, throwing her arms
+round his neck, cried, "Oh, Peter, I am so glad you have returned; the
+good cabbage soup is all ready for you; so come right in and eat it!"
+
+"Eat!" exclaimed Wise Peter, "how can I swallow a mouthful when I am so
+overwhelmed with misfortune?"
+
+"What! you also!" said Catharine; "alas! what has happened?"
+
+[Illustration: PETER'S RETURN HOME.]
+
+With accents that trembled with rage and grief, Wise Peter told how
+he had been treated in the village; but he had scarcely made an end
+before Catharine, bursting into tears, exclaimed, "Oh, what will become
+of me! Have mercy, Peter, for it was I who poured the wine down the
+well!"
+
+"Poured wine down the well!" cried Peter, starting in astonishment;
+"then, for heaven's sake, why did you do that?"
+
+"Because," sobbed his wife, "the water tasted of cabbages!"
+
+"Of cabbages!" repeated the peasant, in greater surprise than ever, "and
+what made it taste of cabbages?"
+
+"Because I dipped up water in the cabbage pot," cried Silly Catharine.
+
+"And where was the bucket?" asked her husband.
+
+"I burnt it, trying to dip the water out of the chimney, that had been
+drawn up from the cabbage pot!" gasped Catharine, feeling that
+everything must now be told, since she had begun.
+
+Wise Peter took two or three strides across the room in silence; then,
+making a violent effort to speak quietly, he said, "And why, Catharine,
+since you supposed that water could be drawn up a chimney, did you leave
+the pot unwatched?"
+
+Almost in a scream, Silly Catharine broke out, "Because I was sewing on
+the turkeys' heads that I struck off cutting down the bramble bush!!"
+
+"Now, was ever any man tormented with such a fool of a wife!" shouted
+Peter, almost beside himself with rage. "I could beat you with pleasure
+for acting so witlessly, but that, alas! would not pay for what you have
+lost for me this day. A hundred and five guilders of my precious money
+have I been made to pay for your foolery, besides losing my Tokay wine,
+my field of wheat, and all my fine young turkeys! at least a hundred
+guilders more!"
+
+"Oh, and that's not the worst!" cried Catharine.
+
+"What! is there any more to come?" exclaimed Peter, almost out of his
+senses.
+
+"Yes," stammered Silly Catharine; "the man came here to gather the tax,
+and I told him, as you said, that you were far too clever to pay it, and
+that he would get nothing more out of me. Then he said you were a
+beggarly fellow, not worth five kreutzers, and, of course, I couldn't
+allow that; so I showed him the guilders in the store room, to prove
+that he spoke falsely, and he took every one of them! I am so sorry, but
+never mind, there is excellent cabbage soup for supper!"
+
+At this, Peter could restrain himself no longer, and falling upon Silly
+Catharine, he trounced her well with his stick, until she cried out for
+mercy. "There!" he said at last, throwing down the stick, "you have
+been well punished, though not half enough to pay for the mischief you
+have done."
+
+Silly Catharine dried her eyes upon her apron, and with a reproachful
+look exclaimed, "Still you have beaten me, Wise Peter, for what I could
+not help; for, if the turkeys had not been killed, I should never have
+stayed away so long; if the water had not flown up chimney, I should not
+have burnt the bucket; and if the well had not tasted of cabbages, I
+should not have thrown in the wine. And, above all, dear Peter, if that
+abominable man spoke ill of you, how could I, your wife, avoid showing
+him that he lied? Besides, the case is not so bad; we have lost nearly
+all, it is true; but, thank heaven, we still have delicious cabbages!"
+
+In spite of himself, Wise Peter could not help bursting out laughing.
+"After all, Catharine," he exclaimed, "I see you did not intend doing me
+any harm; if you are a fool, that, certainly, is not your fault;
+therefore, in future let us never be separated. Come, you pretty goose,
+let us go and eat cabbage soup."
+
+So saying, Wise Peter kissed his wife's blooming cheek, and led her into
+the house. They sat down with contented hearts to the nice, smoking
+soup, and after supper walked out among the spreading cabbages.
+
+
+
+
+THE WONDERFUL LEGEND OF THE GOLD STONE.
+
+
+IN those far away times when the world was yet in its baby clothes, and
+people were not as wise as they are nowadays, there dwelt in the good
+town of London a poor tailor's apprentice named Bartlemy Bowbell. He
+might be called poor in a double sense; for not only was he such a lazy,
+idle fellow that he scarcely ever took a stitch, and so seldom had a
+copper of his own, but he was a miserable workman, and, like an
+organ-grinder's monkey, or a blind man's dog, obtained more kicks than
+halfpence.
+
+In the same room with him were several other tailors; who sang together
+one of two tunes as they stitched. If they were paid for every day's
+work, be it much or little, they sang, "By the d-a-y! by the d-a-a-y! by
+the d-a-a-a-y!" and the needles went in and out as slowly as the coaches
+of a funeral procession; but if they were paid for every garment they
+finished, then they sang, "By the job! by the job! by the job!" and the
+needles stitched away like an express train! Bartlemy, however, crossed
+his legs, put his thimble firmly on, and stitched briskly for five
+minutes; then his attention would wander, and presently, dropping work,
+thimble, shears, and needle, he began singing to himself,
+
+          "Oh, if I were only possessed of my riches,
+          I never would sew on a pair of old breeches!
+                Thimbles and thread!
+                Buttons and braid!
+          Oh, who would be bound to this rascally trade?
+
+          "If money I had, I'd be free from all care,
+          And what _master_ must _make_, _I_ should have but to _wear!_
+                Needles and pins!
+                Shears and cloth ends!
+          When the work's ended then pleasure begins!"
+
+"What's that you're singing about riches?" cried his master, sharply;
+"Riches, forsooth! you will die in the poor house, I can tell you, if
+you don't stitch more diligently! Come, sew away! sew away!" So saying,
+he gave him a good thwack with his yard stick, to make him continue
+working.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+All the beatings in the world, however, could not thump out of Bartlemy
+Bowbell a belief that had got into his head that he should one day
+become rich and famous, through the agency of a wonderful jewel called
+the Gold Stone. As I said, people, in those days, were by no means so
+wise as they are at present, and so it fell out that the most learned
+philosophers of that olden time believed as firmly as did the tailor's
+apprentice in the existence of this Gold Stone, the peculiar property of
+which was, that if it came in contact with any common metal, it changed
+it, on that instant, into gold. Now, this story had come to the ears of
+Bartlemy Bowbell, and by one of those odd cranks that not overwise
+people sometimes take in their heads, he was perfectly persuaded that,
+sooner or later, he was fated to find the miraculous gem.
+
+Matters soon rose to such a pitch, as may easily be seen, that his
+master finally turned him out of doors, saying "that he ate more than he
+would ever earn."
+
+"Very well, master," quoth Bartlemy, "I don't regret your goose and
+cabbage!" and having said this, he ran away as hard as he could,
+dropping one of his slipshod shoes as he went along, with his master
+pursuing after, yard stick in hand, whom, however, he soon contrived to
+outstrip.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+As he had not earned a penny during the week, he was entirely without
+money, and nobody would lodge a shabby apprentice with only one shoe,
+for nothing. He wandered on until he was clear of London and in the open
+fields, begging of those he met on the road, but who always replied to
+his solicitation, "Why don't you go to work, you lazy 'prentice?" for
+they knew what he was, because he wore a 'prentice's flat cap. Worst of
+all, night now came on, and Bartlemy was at last compelled to lie down
+beneath a tree, where he soon fell asleep. The moon rose high, and still
+Bartlemy snored, when, all of a sudden, he was roused by a smart blow on
+the shoulder from what he could have sworn was a yard stick.
+
+"Needles and pins!" cried Bartlemy, sitting up in haste; "what's that?"
+
+"Bartlemy Bowbell," croaked a strange voice, "look at me."
+
+Bartlemy looked round, and to his extreme terror, saw standing beside
+him a being whom he could only suppose to be a goblin. He was not more
+than four feet high, with very bow legs, as though from a constant habit
+of tucking them up on a tailor's shop board; his clothes, fashioned from
+odd bits of velvet and cloth such as tailors call "cabbage," or, as we
+should say, the pieces of the customers' stuff left from their
+coats--were trimmed with thimbles for bell buttons; on his head was a
+tailor's cotton nightcap, with a long tassel, and hanging at his waist
+were an immense pair of shears, and a pincushion bristling with needles
+and pins. In one hand he carried the yard stick with which he had struck
+the luckless 'prentice, and in the other a tailor's goose, or flat iron.
+
+His face was expressive of the most jovial good humor, though it could
+not be called handsome, for his nose was flattened as though he were in
+the habit of trying his iron against the end; his hair seemed composed
+of long and short threads mingled together, and he had an abominable
+squint, as though he were always endeavoring to see how a coat set at
+the front and back, the collar and tail at the same time.
+
+"Bartlemy," said the goblin again, "what's the matter with you?"
+
+"Matter, your worship?" gasped Bartlemy.
+
+"Come to the point," said the goblin, severely, accidentally swinging
+his pincushion against Bartlemy's legs at the same time, and pricking
+him most atrociously. "You are everlastingly growling and grumbling,
+instead of working at your trade like an honest tailor, and richly
+deserve to be thwacked with the yardstick every morning by way of
+breakfast; but never mind, I choose to help you; so say what you want,
+quick."
+
+"A-and who might your worship be?" asked Bartlemy, with a cold shudder;
+for he felt desperately afraid that he had got hold of Old Boguey or
+Old Nick--it was not much matter which.
+
+"That's none of your business," said the being; "but if you must know, I
+am Snippinbitz, the patron of the tailors."
+
+"O lord, your worship, you don't say so!" stammered Bartlemy.
+
+"That's a fact!" returned the goblin. "Come, out with it; what can I do
+for you?"
+
+Bartlemy scratched his head and took off his cap, looked into it, found
+no words there, and put it on again; and finally, with a bow that nearly
+toppled him head over heels, and a kick up of his foot that sent his
+remaining slipper flying into the nearest mud-puddle, he managed to
+say:
+
+"Please, your worship, I want to find the Gold Stone."
+
+The goblin burst into a discordant laugh on hearing this; then, suddenly
+becoming serious, he said:
+
+"Well, that's a sensible request, Bartlemy, and a modest one,
+considering the circumstances. Never mind, I have taken a fancy to you;
+your wish shall be accomplished. See here."
+
+With these words Snippinbitz put his hand in his pocket, and pulled out
+a magnificent jewel, as it seemed to Bartlemy. It was of the most
+resplendent purple color imaginable, and sparkled all over with flecks
+of gold, which seemed to swim beneath the surface. Nothing could look
+more gorgeously beautiful as the astonished tailor held it up in the
+moonlight; yes, there could be no doubt of it; the mysterious, the
+unattainable Gold Stone was really his!
+
+"Now, Bartlemy, attend to me," continued the being. "The Gold Stone is
+yours, but under certain conditions, which must be faithfully complied
+with, or no gold! First, you must return to London to-morrow, seek out
+your old master, and ask him to employ you as a regular workman. You
+will find yourself able to sew as well as the best, through my
+assistance, and you must employ this power diligently on the work he
+gives you to do. I warn you, however, that you must keep the secret of
+the Gold Stone from everybody; and, in order that you may do so, you
+must never take it out of your pouch until you are safe in your own
+chamber. Secondly, when you receive your wages, place the money directly
+in the pouch containing the Gold Stone, and do not look at it until you
+go to bed. Then you will find the copper turned into silver, and the
+silver into gold. But if you count the money first, it will never be any
+different. Thirdly, in a year's time from to-night, meet me at this
+spot, and tell me how you have prospered. Will you keep these conditions
+faithfully?"
+
+"Ye-y-es! your worship!" stammered the 'prentice.
+
+"Then, how are you, Mr. Gold Stone!" exclaimed the goblin, in advance
+of the age; and, with an outrageous wink, he treated Bartlemy to another
+whack with the yardstick, and vanished.
+
+The blow struck our tailor insensible; and when his eyes again unclosed
+it was broad daylight. For a moment he stared about him, wondering how
+he came to be there; then, remembering the extraordinary events of the
+previous night, he hastily felt in his pouch, and drew out the
+miraculous jewel. It flamed in the sunlight like a bright diamond eye,
+and Bartlemy almost fancied he caught it winking at him. This idea
+lasted but a moment, and having taken a long and delighted stare at the
+much-desired Gold Stone, he replaced it carefully in his pouch, and
+started straight for London. As he passed the newly-opened bakers'
+shops, he could not help wishing that he had a half-penny in the world,
+so that he might change it into a crown on the spot, and buy a basketful
+of hot rolls; but as the Gold Stone was not warranted to _make_ money,
+he was forced to take it out in wishing. Fortunately one of the bakers,
+seeing him gaze hungrily at the hot bread, had the kindness to toss him
+a large roll; and, munching this, he arrived at his master's shop.
+
+After the way in which he had been turned out, he hadn't much hope of
+getting in again, but, afraid of disobeying the goblin's injunctions,
+he entered with as much courage as he could muster, and found the other
+tailors stitching away as usual, while his master cut out a coat.
+
+Bartlemy took his cap humbly off, saying, "Please, master, if you will
+employ me as a workman now, I think I can please you. Do try me; I will
+be industrious; indeed, I will."
+
+"Oh," grumbled the master tailor, "sleeping out in the fields and going
+without supper and breakfast has done you good, has it? Well, take this
+coat and sit you down; but I warn you, beforehand, that if you are not
+more industrious than usual, I will lay my yardstick over your shoulder,
+and clear you out again."
+
+Bartlemy took the work, and having planted himself on the shop-board[A]
+in his favorite place, near a window, he put on his thimble, threaded
+his needle with a grand flourish, and began to stitch away for dear
+life. He sewed faster and better than he had ever done before, and
+found, to his joy, that the goblin's promises had begun to be fulfilled
+in reality. But bad habits are not to be conquered as one would pull up
+weeds: though both must be torn up by the roots, one might weed three
+gardens in the time it takes to destroy one fault; and so, without
+really meaning it, Bartlemy at last began to ply his needle less
+briskly; his thoughts wandered; he took a stitch that was three times
+too long, then another in a wrong place, a third and fourth all askew,
+and finally the work came to a dead stand-still. But, thimbles and
+thread! what happened? The instant his hand stopped, a long yellow
+yardstick came flying through the window, with no one holding it, hit
+him such a thwack on the shins that he roared again with the pain, and
+instantly vanished.
+
+"Why, what's the matter?" asked the other tailors, startled, as they
+well might be.
+
+"Matter!" cried Bartlemy. "Why, didn't you see that--that horrible
+yardstick coming at me?"
+
+At this they all laughed at him for a fool; for nobody but our tailor
+could perceive this terrific weapon, which was doubtless invisible to
+common eyes. His conscience whispered, however, that his punishment was
+a reminder from the friendly goblin, and accordingly he set to work with
+renewed diligence. After a while, lost in dreams of his approaching
+wealth, he stopped stitching again, when, like a flash, in came the
+yardstick, touched him up with a vengeance, and vanished as before; and
+so it continued all the time he was sewing: the watchful yardstick would
+only allow him to stop to thread his needle or turn the work.
+
+When he had stitched all the seams, he laid the coat on the table and
+heated his goose, that he might smooth them. He took care to post
+himself a good way from the window, in order to get rid of the ferocious
+yardstick; but the goblin was not to be baffled thus. The moment he
+stopped ironing and began to count the flies on the ceiling, the goose
+seemed to carry his hand up with it--irresistibly--to the end of his
+nose, and gave it a good scorching! This was no joke, I can tell you,
+and in a very short time Bartlemy began so to dread the visits of his
+two enemies that he never left working a minute, and his needle dashed
+along like magic. By sunset the coat was done, and sewed in a manner
+vastly superior to the other tailors, who looked at him with envious
+eyes. "What! finish a whole coat in one day?" they cried; "we never
+could do so well! Goose and cabbage! friend Bartlemy! you must have the
+assistance of some fairy!"
+
+Bartlemy made no answer, but taking the coat in hand, carried it to his
+master, who viewed it in the greatest astonishment. Never before had a
+coat been made in a single day, and stitched, too, more finely than
+anything he had ever seen; but, not wishing to raise his late
+'prentice's ideas of himself, he merely grumbled out, "For a wonder you
+have done your work this time; so now take your wages, and be sure to
+come early Monday morn."
+
+As he spoke, he slipped a couple of coins into Bartlemy's hand, who,
+remembering the goblin's words, put them into his pouch without so much
+as looking at them.
+
+Now, no doubt my clever little readers have guessed quite readily the
+true solution of this mighty mystery; but to the simple Bartlemy the
+reality of the Gold Stone's magic power was placed beyond a doubt when,
+on reaching his chamber and striking a light, he found, instead of the
+farthing and penny which had always been his weekly payment, a crown and
+sixpence.
+
+"Huzzah! huzzah!" he cried, fairly jumping for joy; "my beautiful Gold
+Stone is doing its work bravely." He kissed the stone in his delight,
+and went to bed, to dream of becoming a master tailor, and making
+clothes for the king.
+
+The following Monday he repaired to his master's shop the first of any
+one, and everything happened as on the former time; except that, being
+more diligent at his work, the goose and the yardstick were less
+frequent in their favors, and he now made a coat and a vest in the day.
+His master really knew not what to think; but at least so good a workman
+was not to be lost; so he kept his surprise and suspicions to himself,
+and made up by heaping more and more sewing on the luckless Bartlemy.
+
+It didn't make any difference, however; his needle almost seemed to work
+by itself, and the sewing was finished by sunset; so that, really, the
+good-natured goblin was the original sewing machine, and no thanks to
+Messrs. Grover and Baker. At the end of the week his master paid him a
+crown and a shilling; or, as Bartlemy believed, a farthing and a penny;
+the next week a guinea, and the week after a guinea and a crown, which
+was the highest wages ever paid.
+
+So things went on, until Bartlemy had earned enough to make quite a
+fortune in his eyes; ten whole guineas lay glittering in the old night
+cap where he kept his savings, and the tailor thought he might now set
+up for a gentleman. So he bought cloth, made himself, in secret, a fine
+cloak, coat, and breeches, and in these jackdaw adornments paraded
+about the streets a whole morning, trying to appear an idle fine
+gentleman. At last he strutted into the best inn, ordered a grand dinner
+and a bottle of wine, and feasted like a lord.
+
+But his time was coming. The watchful goblin, though not at his side,
+knew perfectly well what he was about, and soon led him to betray his
+quality most fatally. When the bill was brought him, it was so long and
+so tremendous that Bartlemy sprang up in a rage, crying out:
+
+"_Thimbles and thread!_ Do you call this a decent charge for your paltry
+dinner?"
+
+The landlord stared at him in astonishment; then, suddenly bursting
+into a loud laugh, he cried, "Why, gentles all, this fine nobleman is
+nothing but a tailor! ha! ha!" and he put his hands to his fat sides and
+shook with laughter.
+
+"Be silent, sirrah!" thundered Bartlemy; "or _I'll break my yardstick
+over your shoulders_!"
+
+"Ha! ha! only hear what he says!" laughed the landlord. "A miserable
+tailor."
+
+"If you do not stop your impertinence, I will _shear off your ears like
+cloth clippings_!" retorted the angry tailor. "Goose and cabbage! man;
+you shall not trifle with me!"
+
+On this the landlord and waiters turned him bodily out of the house,
+after seizing upon all his remaining money; and the moment he was in
+the street, the knowledge of how he had betrayed himself broke upon his
+mind. Mortified and miserable, he hurried home, determined, after this,
+to stick to his trade and play fine gentleman no more.
+
+The year at last drew to a close, and Bartlemy had now earned enough to
+set up for a master tailor; when, one bright moonlight night, he
+suddenly remembered that it was the very anniversary of his meeting with
+the goblin. Starting up, he ran to where his pouch was placed, took out
+the Gold Stone and enjoyed a long look at it, and then, throwing his
+cloak around him, he hastened forth. The moonlight beamed brightly on
+the path he was taking, and seemed to throw all sorts of queer shadows
+before him; now it was an immense yardstick, now a thimble supported on
+two needles like a pair of spindle legs, then a goose with a pair of
+shears astride on the handle.
+
+At last, as he paused under the old tree, he heard a familiar croaking
+laugh, and found himself unexpectedly in the presence of Snippinbitz,
+the friendly goblin.
+
+"Well, Bartlemy," croaked the being; "and how have you prospered with
+the Gold Stone?"
+
+"Marvellously well, your worship!" replied Bartlemy, in a joyous tone.
+
+"And you found a crown and a shilling, and a guinea and a crown,
+instead of your penny and farthing; did you, Bartlemy?"
+
+"Why, yes, your worship, I did, certainly."
+
+"And the Gold Stone changed them, did it, Bartlemy?"
+
+"Why, yes, your worship; of course it did."
+
+"Now, Bartlemy," said the goblin, in a confidential tone, laying his
+hand on the other's shoulder, "I want to tell you something. It isn't
+the Gold Stone!"
+
+"It's--not--the--Gold--Stone!!" gasped Bartlemy.
+
+"Why, no, you donkey! there's no such thing!"
+
+Bartlemy turned fairly green and yellow with horror and disappointment.
+
+"Listen to me, Bartlemy Bowbell," said the goblin; "nobody but a donkey
+would suppose that a round bit of purple glass----"
+
+"Of purple glass!" repeated Bartlemy, in a sort of dream.
+
+"Don't interrupt, Bartlemy--that a bit of purple glass could change
+copper into gold. Your master paid you the wages your work was worth,
+that is all. There is no such preposterous jewel on the face of the
+earth as you imagine; but there _is_ a true Gold Stone, and its name is
+
+                        'FAITHFUL INDUSTRY!'"
+
+As the goblin spoke these words, he suddenly began to change his form,
+and grew taller and broader. His bell-button thimbles fell off, his flat
+nose became long and sharp, his thread hair gave place to a bald pate,
+and his whole appearance became wonderfully like Bartlemy's master. He
+raised his yardstick, brought it down with a tremendous
+crack--and--Bartlemy WOKE!
+
+Yes! he was lying under the tree where he had thrown himself down the
+night before. The whole of what had passed, Gold Stone, money, goblin,
+and all, was but the fantastic tracery of a dream; and above him really
+stood his master, who had repented of having turned away his luckless
+'prentice, and had come to seek him.
+
+The lesson was not lost, however, on our hero. He returned to his
+master's shop, where he worked diligently, without any yardstick coming
+after him; and in three years' time rose to be a master tailor, married
+his old master's daughter, cut the coats of the king himself, and took
+for his arms a Gold Stone, supported by two shears, and the motto:
+
+                     FAITHFUL INDUSTRY.
+
+FOOTNOTE:
+
+[A] A shop-board is a kind of table on which tailors sit when
+at work.
+
+
+
+
+THE PHILOSOPHERS' TOUR.
+
+
+THERE were once five learned men, who had been shut up all their lives
+in their studies, poking their noses into saucepans full of cookeries,
+which did not resemble savory soups or well-flavored ragouts, wearing
+their eyes out with reading books printed in the crabbedest black letter
+possible, and shrivelling up their brains with thinking, until they
+quite rattled inside their skulls, all in pursuit of out-o'-the-way
+knowledge.
+
+There was really nothing scientific with which they were not
+acquainted; while, in the mean time, one or two little things, perfectly
+familiar to people who use their eyes for the purpose of noticing the
+common occurrences and habits of every-day existence, and exercise their
+understanding in everything that can make life comfortable and
+agreeable, had entirely escaped the observation of our philosophers.
+
+As the emperor allowed them each a handsome pension to advance the
+interests of science, they went on with their discoveries rejoicing, and
+for a long time had never stirred from their apartments in one of His
+Majesty's country palaces. They scarcely left off thinking, when they
+were asleep; never had the least idea what they were eating for dinner,
+or even what the materials of that dinner looked like; and, in short,
+were sublimely unconscious of any of the ordinary affairs or interests
+of life; and thought only of sciences, and high-flown theories of
+Health, of Natural Philosophy, Chemistry, Botany, and goodness knows
+what beside. The fifth and last of the learned men was supposed to
+consider silence as an art or science, since he hardly ever said
+anything; and for that reason was thought to be wiser than the other
+four put together.
+
+At last, one fine morning, one of our learned men chanced to poke his
+head out of the window, to see what on earth had become of one of his
+glass retorts, which he had filled with gas until it went off like a
+rocket; and could not help being struck with the blue sky, the fresh
+green herbage, and the thousands of beautiful wild flowers that
+sprinkled the grass. It was a charming summer day; the birds had not yet
+left off singing, and the fresh breeze, fanning the bald forehead of the
+philosopher, appeared wonderfully pleasant.
+
+"Why, bless me!" cried the philosopher, whose name was Dr. Skihi; "while
+I have been trying to reduce chemistry to the uses of a penny post, I
+never thought of remarking whether it was a pleasant day or not. How
+bright and beautiful everything looks! Out-of-doors is a very good sort
+of thing, after all. I declare, I've a great mind--pooh! nonsense;
+science--glorious science, is a great deal more to be regarded than a
+fine day in the country."
+
+[Illustration: DR. MUMBUDGET LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW.]
+
+So saying, he drew his head in again, and turned to his books and
+saucepans; for, you see, he was trying to condense gas, and make it dart
+through the air like a skyrocket, carrying a letter, or a telegraphic
+message, or even a traveller with it, if it was made strong enough; but,
+so far, he had only succeeded in breaking his retorts, and blowing
+himself up till his head came bump against the ceiling, and knocked off
+little bits of plaster. Everything in the study looked remarkably dingy
+after the freshness of the fields, and the doctor could not refrain
+from taking another peep. This time, the contrast appeared even greater
+than before, while directly underneath his window there now stood two
+pretty little girls, one holding a great bunch of roses and other
+blooming flowers, and both intent on a long leaf of manuscript, which
+they were puzzling and laughing over, calling it "such a silly thing!"
+Our doctor, to his great dudgeon, recognized it as part of a learned
+treatise, his own production, which had accidentally blown out of the
+window; but, as to be known as the writer of silly things is not
+specially dignified, he preferred saying nothing about the matter.
+
+"I have a great mind," he said again; "yes, I'll go and ask Dr.
+Sheepshanks if he does not think it would be a good plan for us to take
+a short trip into the country. No doubt we should make some very
+important discoveries."
+
+Excusing the idea to himself in this way, Dr. Skihi toddled up one pair
+of stairs and down two pair of stairs, and straight along a crooked
+corridor, and all round a square hall, until he arrived at the
+apartments of Dr. Sheepshanks. He knocked at the door, and peeped
+through the keyhole until he was told to come in, when he opened the
+door softly, and shut it with an astonished bang, that made all the
+spiders, who were dancing hornpipes in all the corners (for the learned
+men would have died rather than have their sacred studies disturbed by
+a house-cleaning) stand on one leg for several minutes with surprise, as
+a noise in the philosophers' palace was a thing rather more seldom met
+with than a crononhotonthologos.
+
+The sight that caused Dr. Skihi to commit such a breach of good manners
+was Dr. Sheepshanks in the very middle of a summersault! with his
+flowered dressing gown about his ears and his spindle shanks and black
+stockings in the air, looking not unlike a two-legged radish growing
+upside down.
+
+To him rushed Dr. Skihi, who, catching his friend by the tails of his
+dressing gown, had him right side up in a hurry, exclaiming, "Crucibles
+and gasbags! my good sir, have you gone crazy?"
+
+"No, indeed," returned Dr. Sheepshanks, with a gleeful laugh. "I have
+made a discovery, sir--a great discovery. I happened to look out of the
+window, a moment ago, and I saw a couple of little chaps racing up and
+down, and playing at that topsy-turvy game you saw me trying just now.
+Their cheeks were so fat, and their frames so sturdy, that I feel
+convinced such exercises are the best promoters of health in the world;
+and as I am getting rather broken down myself, while I am finding out
+what is the best way for other people to keep healthy, I thought I would
+try the experiment. It does make the blood rush to the head somewhat, I
+must confess; but it's a glorious thing, you may depend! I feel twenty
+years younger and better already, I assure you!"
+
+All this time Dr. Sheepshanks was puffing and panting, with a very red
+face and astonished air; but the new theory had taken possession of him,
+and he would have died at the stake rather than allow that turning
+summersaults was not the exercise best adapted to old gentlemen of
+sixty.
+
+Finding his friend so prepossessed in favor of exercise, Dr. Skihi
+proposed to him that they should go and take a walk, to which he readily
+agreed. Then they went to Dr. Smelfungus, the great botanist, who was
+at present trying to graft japonicas on bramble bushes: "It would
+improve the appearance of the roadside so much!" and Dr. Van Noostile,
+who was writing a splendid work, in twenty-five volumes, to prove that
+people's feeling hot and cold was perfect fancy and nonsense; and also
+giving a number of scientific ways of finding out whether it would rain
+or be clear, and what time o' day it was, without looking to see if the
+wind were east, or running to stare at a clock; which, no doubt, would
+be of the greatest use to the world, and leave all the weathercocks and
+watchmakers quite in the shade. Last of all, they came to Dr. Mumbudget,
+who had on his study door the great doorplate you see in the picture,
+with his name engraved on it in letters six inches long. As usual, he
+said not a word in reply to the invitation of his friends, but nodded
+his head at them instead, until he nearly nodded it off; and so, being
+all of one mind, our philosophers locked up their studies, put on their
+five-cornered caps, and taking their gold-headed canes and their note
+books, to be ready to put down any new fact that might turn up, started
+off for a country ramble.
+
+At first they walked along quietly enough, admiring the prospect, and
+enjoying the fresh air; but after a few moments, Dr. Sheepshanks could
+no longer resist the desire to put his new theory of health into
+practice.
+
+"Really," he began, "it would be much better for us always to pursue our
+studies in the open air. Science teaches us that the most healthy people
+are the wild Indians--those children of nature, who live under the
+trees, dine off fresh fruits, and take plenty of exercise. Let us be
+children of nature, my friends, and improve our health by running to
+that tree," pointing to one at some distance.
+
+Accordingly, the philosopher started off at an amble, followed by his
+companions, who, with dressing gowns flying in the wind, and books
+flying, out of their pockets every minute, presented rather ridiculous
+spectacles. They were so deeply engaged that they did not see Dr.
+Mumbudget quietly walking along behind, picking up their scattered
+property.
+
+So far so good; but unhappily, not being accustomed to the habits of
+children of nature, this sudden introduction to the true mode of life
+discomposed our learned doctors in no small degree. Fairly aching from
+head to foot with fatigue, Dr. Sheepshanks was the first to pause, so
+out of breath that he could hardly speak, yet exclaiming, with a beaming
+face, "Ah! you may depend, gentlemen, that the only way to enjoy life is
+to take plenty of exercise!"
+
+This was drawing rather too hard on the patience of his friends, after
+what they had just endured, and Dr. Skihi exclaimed, rather crossly,
+"At the same time, your exercise is a famous thing to make one thirsty!
+I would give a great deal to obtain a drink of spring water; but that is
+impossible at present."
+
+"Impossible! why, there is nothing easier!" said Dr. Smelfungus.
+"Science teaches us that some vegetables are nearly all water; turnips,
+for instance. All you have to do is to get a turnip and express the
+juice, and there's your drink of water."
+
+"How about going to a well?" said Mumbudget; but nobody appeared to hear
+him.
+
+"And pray, are there any turnips hereabout?" asked the chemist,
+impatiently.
+
+Now, the fact was that Dr. Smelfungus had never seen a turnip; he had
+only read in books that turnips were round, watery vegetables, yellow
+outside and full of juice; for he was so interested in finding out all
+about flowers and plants that came from Australia, and other out of the
+way places, that he never troubled his head with common, homemade
+turnips--those were too vulgar; but as he wished to appear informed on
+all subjects, he pointed hap-hazard to a field beside the road saying,
+carelessly, "Certainly; there are some."
+
+Now, what do you think Dr. Smelfungus had really pointed out? Why, a
+musk-melon patch! and as his companions knew no more than himself, Dr.
+Skihi scrambled through the hedge without more ado, cut with his
+penknife as many as he could carry, and returned to his friends. You may
+believe how they enjoyed the feast, sitting on the soft moss, in the
+cool shade of the trees; and after they were through, Dr. Smelfungus
+gravely wrote down, "Turnip--a large, round vegetable growing on vines,
+with a rough, yellow outside, ever so many seeds in the middle, and
+tastes of nutmegs!"
+
+After these exploits, the philosophers continued on their way, and Drs.
+Smelfungus and Sheepshanks felt more proud of their learning than ever.
+Meanwhile Dr. Mumbudget said nothing; so they gave him credit either for
+thinking a great deal, or being too big a donkey to admire such
+splendid experiments.
+
+The sun had now mounted high, and our travellers began to feel its rays
+inconveniently warm. Dr. Van Noostile, however, laughed them all to
+scorn.
+
+"Too warm! fiddlestick's end!" he cried. "This feeling warm and cold is
+all humbug. Dr. Skihi can tell you that I went to the top of the house
+with him every night for a week, last winter, to look at a comet, in
+nothing but a night gown and an umbrella, and I never was better in my
+life! Other people might have felt cold, or caught cold; but I--I
+enjoyed the science of the thing! If you feel too warm, follow my plan;
+make up your minds you _won't_ feel so, and the thing's done!" and Dr.
+Van Noostile marched proudly along in the hottest part of the road, with
+his nose in the air, though the sun blistered the end most abominably!
+while the others, not to be behindhand in wisdom, followed his example;
+all but Mumbudget, who kept in the shade of the trees growing beside the
+road, and was secretly voted a greater donkey than ever.
+
+Fortunately for the rest, who might otherwise have been sunstruck, a
+friendly cloud bank, which had been for some time gathering in the east,
+now began to cover the sky completely; and Dr. Mumbudget, speaking for
+the second time, just said, "Rain coming; better hurry on," and then
+relapsed into silence.
+
+"Rain! no such thing!" cried Dr. Van Noostile. "When it is about to
+rain, you will observe _that the swallows fly low!_ and as I don't see a
+sign of a swallow, you may depend that----" His speech was interrupted
+by a thunderclap, and then down poured the flood! in one of those
+sudden, heavy showers that so often take place in summer, wetting the
+whole party to the skin in less than two minutes. It was of no use to
+run, and as they plodded along in the wet, our philosophers looked at
+Dr. Van Noostile with faces in which anger and dismay were equally
+mingled.
+
+"Is this your knowledge of weather?" exclaimed Dr. Skihi, in a pet.
+
+"Science teaches us that even a child of nature should go in when it
+rains!" snapped Dr. Sheepshanks.
+
+"And though water is undoubtedly necessary for internal refreshment;
+external application, in the form of a hard shower, is only suitable to
+plants!" snarled Dr. Smelfungus.
+
+In short, they all set upon the luckless weather prophet, except Dr.
+Mumbudget, who, when they had all scolded themselves out of breath,
+quietly pointed out a farm house they were now approaching, and led the
+way thither himself.
+
+There was no need for words. Gladly did the wretched philosophers hasten
+to its shelter, and avail themselves of the bright kitchen fire to dry
+their flowered dressing gowns, and wet stockings and shoes. While they
+were drying, and steaming like the safety valve of a high-pressure
+steamboat, the good woman of the house, not without some doubts of their
+sanity, set about preparing a savory meal. In a short time this was
+ready, and the others were just sitting down to a dish of nice broiled
+ham and some light wheaten biscuits, when Dr. Sheepshanks exclaimed,
+with an air of amazement, "Is it possible, my friends, that you are
+willing to violate the natural laws of health by eating dishes at which
+a child of nature would be horrified! Not for me be so degenerate a
+meal! _I_ shall lunch on fare such as a wild Indian best loves!" So
+saying, he tucked up his sleeves, called for some unground corn, and
+having pounded it in a mortar until it was in coarse bits, he mixed with
+it a little water, and baked this horrible mess before the fire, in the
+hot ashes. Then he asked for a slice of bacon, as venison was not at
+hand, frizzled the out side slightly by holding it up on a cleft stick
+before the fire, burning his ten fingers several times in the process,
+and bearing it with heroic fortitude. Finally, he served up these
+atrocious specimens of cookery on pieces of board instead of dishes, as
+the proper diet for children of nature--and philosophers!
+
+As he could not induce the other _savants_ to prefer the luncheon of
+wild Indians to that of civilized Christians, Dr. Sheepshanks ate it
+all up himself, though, in fact, his rebellious palate steadily refused
+to relish the dainties prepared for it. Science must be made to triumph,
+however, and the little doctor gallantly charged these "What is It's" of
+cookery and finished the last morsel under furious protest of stomach.
+
+Somewhat comforted by the meal, and seeing that the clouds had given
+place to a clear sky, the philosophers resumed their dressing gowns,
+woefully shrunken by the wetting and drying they had received, and
+having liberally paid their hostess, started on the homeward road;
+concluding that they had seen enough for one day. They were in the very
+poorest condition for a long walk, for their theories, so far from
+making them any happier, had produced only ill effects. Dr. Sheepshanks'
+healthful exercise had given them all stitches in the sides, and aches
+in the back; Dr. Smelfungus's knowledge of botany had betrayed them into
+such excesses of melon alias turnip eating, that various queer doublings
+up in the epigastric region began to make themselves apparent; the
+natural philosophy, which had led Dr. Van Noostile and his good friends
+to parade along the middle of the road in the sun, had given them
+furious headaches; and, to crown all, Dr. Skihi now made the most
+brilliant proposal of anybody.
+
+Our good doctor was evidently brimming, one might say creaming, over
+with the milk of human kindness; beyond a possible doubt he was about to
+propound a discovery of benefit to the whole world. His bald head beamed
+benevolence, overflowing beneficence to all mankind radiated from the
+very tails of his dressing gown as he cried:
+
+"My dear friends, you are all too tired to walk home now, ain't you? You
+would like to get there before you could say 'Jack Robinson'--now,
+wouldn't you? and if I were to accomplish that happy end, you could
+never be grateful enough--now, could you?"
+
+"Certainly not!" exclaimed the advocate of exercise, who wished from his
+inmost soul, either that he had taken less turnip, or that the famous
+seven league boots were on his legs at that moment.
+
+"Then all you have to do," cried Dr. Skihi with sparkling eyes, "is to
+get in a convenient posture; allow me to set off this retort of mine
+behind you--" here he produced a "glass concern" from a side pocket, to
+the horror of his friends--"and heigh, presto! you will find yourself
+flying home like a skyrocket"--
+
+"And coming down like the stick!" gasped Dr. Smelfungus, retiring in a
+hurry, for the tails of his dressing gown and the gas retort of Dr.
+Skihi were in inconvenient proximity.
+
+Dr. Skihi vouchsafed not another word, but with an air of indescribable
+dignity adjusted the retort, took out a cork--and--but words fail me to
+describe the catastrophe! Before Dr. Mumbudget could rush forward to
+prevent it, the gas had come in contact with the air, become inflamed
+instantly, and sent Dr. Skihi whirling above the heads of his friends!
+
+Vesuvius in eruption, coal mines on fire, mad bulls in the full rush,
+and crackers exploding in a barrel, rushed wildly through the heads of
+our philosophers, and when, finally, the rocket-riding doctor was
+discharged on a hayrick, the only person who retained sufficient
+presence of mind to go and pick him up was Mumbudget.
+
+Poor Dr. Skihi! The victim to science remained insensible for some
+time; and when he finally recovered his consciousness, could not at
+first be persuaded that he was not in innumerable pieces. When he was,
+at last, enabled to walk on, it was discovered that while they were
+experimenting they had lost their way, and might be close to home or in
+the middle of Kamtschatka for all they knew of the road. It was again
+Mumbudget who helped them out of this difficulty, by speaking for the
+third time that day; and this third remark of the sage was as much to
+the point as the two first. "Ask somebody!" propounded Mumbudget, and
+after hobbling miserably along for some time, this somebody turned up in
+the person of a very small, ragged, dirty urchin; and under the
+guidance of this contemptible little snipe did our prodigies of wisdom
+arrive at last at the abode of Science and Knowledge!
+
+As they entered the hall, Dr. Smelfungus, with an admiring glance at the
+speechless Mumbudget, exclaimed, "After all, gentlemen, there must be a
+science far higher than ours, since we, with all our knowledge, find
+practical life a matter of such difficulty. Only one man, it appears, is
+master of it, and there he stands!" and he made a low bow to Mumbudget,
+who returned it by another, without a word of reply.
+
+Dr. Skihi, at this, glanced with profound contempt at Smelfungus, and
+gave a "hum!" that was echoed by the professor of health and him of
+natural science; then raising himself on the tips of his toes, and
+seesawing up and down at every word, he inquired, superciliously, "And
+pray, sir, may I ask, in the name of my scientific friends, what branch
+of science you profess, which is superior to every other?"
+
+Mumbudget looked with a quiet smile at the excited little doctor, and
+replied, calmly:
+
+"Gentlemen, I am the professor of COMMON SENSE."
+
+At this reply, the learned friends, Smelfungus not excepted, presented a
+series of remarkably open countenances, as respected eyes and mouths,
+while Dr. Mumbudget went on:
+
+"Chemistry, Botany, Natural Philosophy, and Hygienics--all put together,
+gentlemen, have failed to ensure us one day of rational enjoyment or
+ease; for all these sciences are pure absurdities, unless they are put
+in the hands of men who are governed by the wholesome dictates of common
+sense. My wise philosophers, will you come to school to me?"
+
+The doctors gazed a moment yet; first at the proposer of this new
+doctrine, then at each other; and then, all rushing forward at once,
+they seized his hands.
+
+"You are right, my dear Mumbudget!" they exclaimed in a breath; "with
+all our science we are most greatly in want of common sense! Open your
+school at once; we will be the first to join its classes, and celebrate
+the triumph of Reason over Philosophy!"
+
+
+                   THE END OF THE FIFTH BOOK.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Transcriber's Notes:
+
+Obvious punctuation errors repaired.
+
+Page 95, "irrisistibly" changed to "irresistibly" (it--irresistibly--to)
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Funny Big Socks, by Sarah L. Barrow
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FUNNY BIG SOCKS ***
+
+***** This file should be named 29596-8.txt or 29596-8.zip *****
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+        http://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/5/9/29596/
+
+Produced by David Edwards, Emmy and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+http://gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
+http://pglaf.org/fundraising.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at http://pglaf.org
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit http://pglaf.org
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+     http://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
diff --git a/29596-8.zip b/29596-8.zip
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6c9663a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/29596-8.zip
diff --git a/29596-h.zip b/29596-h.zip
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b4c2f10
--- /dev/null
+++ b/29596-h.zip
diff --git a/29596-h/29596-h.htm b/29596-h/29596-h.htm
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..ce2faff
--- /dev/null
+++ b/29596-h/29596-h.htm
@@ -0,0 +1,3393 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN"
+    "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd">
+
+<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en">
+  <head>
+    <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" />
+    <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" />
+    <title>
+      The Project Gutenberg eBook of Funny Big Socks, by "Aunt Fanny's" Daughter.
+    </title>
+    <style type="text/css">
+
+    p {margin-top: .75em;
+       text-align: justify;
+       text-indent: 1.25em;
+       margin-bottom: .75em;
+        }
+    img {border: 0;}
+    .tnote      {border: dashed 1px; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; padding-bottom: .5em; padding-top: .5em;
+                  padding-left: .5em; padding-right: .5em;}
+    ins {text-decoration:none;  border-bottom: thin dotted gray;}
+    h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 {
+         text-align: center; /* all headings centered */
+         clear: both;
+         }
+    hr { width: 33%;
+	 margin-top: 2em;
+	 margin-bottom: 2em;
+         margin-left: auto;
+         margin-right: auto;
+         clear: both;
+       }
+
+    table {margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;}
+
+    body{margin-left: 10%;
+         margin-right: 10%;
+        }
+
+    .pagenum  { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */
+            /*  visibility: hidden;  */
+                position: absolute;
+                left: 92%;
+                font-size: smaller;
+                text-align: right;
+              } /* page numbers */
+     .copyright {text-align: center; font-size: 70%;}
+    .blockquot{margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 10%; text-align: justify;}
+
+    .bbox     {border: solid 2px; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; padding-bottom: .5em; padding-top: .5em;
+                  padding-left: .5em; padding-right: .5em;}
+
+    .center   {text-align: center;}
+    .smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
+
+    .caption  {font-weight: bold; font-size: 70%;}
+
+    .figcenter   {margin: auto; text-align: center;}
+
+    .figleft     {float: left; clear: left; margin-left: 0; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top:
+                 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0; text-align: center;}
+
+    .figright    {float: right; clear: right; margin-left: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em;
+                 margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0; padding: 0; text-align: center;}
+
+    .unindent {margin-top: .75em;
+       text-align: justify;
+       margin-bottom: .75em;
+        }
+    .right    {text-align: right;}
+    .poem      {margin-left: 30%; margin-right: 10%; text-align: left;}
+    .poem2   {margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 10%; text-align: left;}
+    .sig    {margin-right: 10%; text-align: right;}
+
+    .footnotes        {border: dashed 1px;}
+    .footnote         {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;}
+    .fnanchor         {vertical-align:baseline;
+        position: relative;
+        bottom: 0.33em;
+        font-size: .8em;
+        text-decoration: none;}
+    .hang1 {text-indent: -3em; margin-left: 3em;}
+
+    </style>
+  </head>
+<body>
+
+
+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Funny Big Socks, by Sarah L. Barrow
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Funny Big Socks
+       Being the Fifth Book of the Series
+
+Author: Sarah L. Barrow
+
+Release Date: August 3, 2009 [EBook #29596]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FUNNY BIG SOCKS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Edwards, Emmy and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 383px;">
+<img src="images/i001.jpg" width="383" height="400" alt="DR. MUMBUDGET&#39;S DOOR-PLATE." title="" />
+<span class="caption">DR. MUMBUDGET&#39;S DOOR-PLATE.</span>
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<h3>THE SOCK STORIES,</h3>
+
+<h4>BY "AUNT FANNY'S" DAUGHTER.</h4>
+
+<h1>FUNNY BIG SOCKS:</h1>
+
+
+<div class='center'><b>BEING</b></div>
+
+<h3>THE FIFTH BOOK OF THE SERIES.</h3>
+
+<div class='center'><b>BY</b></div>
+
+<h2>"AUNT FANNY'S" DAUGHTER,</h2>
+
+<div class='center'>THE AUTHOR OF "THE LITTLE WHITE ANGEL."<br />
+<br />
+<br />
+<br />
+<br />
+
+NEW YORK:<br />
+LEAVITT &amp; ALLEN, 21 &amp; 23 MERCER ST.<br />
+1863.<br />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<div class='copyright'>
+<span class="smcap">Entered</span>, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1862, by<br />
+<br />
+S. L. BARROW,<br />
+<br />
+In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the<br />
+Southern District of New York.<br />
+<br />
+JOHN F. TROW,<br />
+<span class="smcap">Printer, Stereotyper, and Electrotyper,</span><br />
+50 Greene Street, New York.<br />
+</div>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<div class='center'>
+<small>TO</small><br />
+<br />
+<small>THAT GENIAL GOOD MAN</small><br />
+<br />
+AND PROFOUND PHILOSOPHER,<br />
+<br />
+<big>THE REV. DR. S. I. PRIME,</big><br />
+<br />
+<small>I DEDICATE THIS</small><br />
+<br />
+BOOK.<br />
+</div>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2>CONTENTS OF VOL. V.</h2>
+
+
+
+
+
+<div class='center'>
+<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="Contents">
+<tr><td align='left'>&nbsp;</td><td align='right'><small>PAGE</small></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>STORM STORIES</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_7">7</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>THE CABBAGES</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_42">42</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>THE GOLD STONE</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_75">75</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>THE PHILOSOPHERS' TOUR</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_108">108</a></td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>STORM STORIES.</h2>
+
+
+<h3>FIRST EVENING.</h3>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">How</span> it did rain, to be sure! Up
+the long street, and down the long
+street nothing was to be seen but large
+mud puddles, while the gutter ran like
+a little river, and gushed with a loud
+sound into the sewer mouth.</p>
+
+<p>That was a rain indeed! but in
+the warm rooms it was comfortable
+enough. Books and pretty pictures
+lined the walls on all sides but one,
+where the large window was, the recess<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span>
+filled with blooming flowers; they
+smelt so sweetly!</p>
+
+<p>There, at a table that was covered
+with a green cloth, sat a literary man.
+His head was bowed upon his arms;
+and when he raised his face, one saw
+that he was so sad and pale! The
+poor literary man was quite unhappy.</p>
+
+<p>If one could have crept into his
+heart (like him who owned the "Galoshes
+of Fortune"), one would have
+seen that his thoughts ran, "Ah me!
+how unhappy I am. I write books
+about the good and the beautiful, but
+nobody buys them; no one cares to
+read of such things. If I could but
+tell them a tale, now, something lively
+or pathetic, like the poet Baggesen or
+our own Hoffman, that they all like.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span>
+Nay, then, what a weary life it is!"
+and he leaned back in his arm chair,
+and closed his eyes.</p>
+
+<p>Suddenly, something came hissing
+down the chimney into the stove. It
+was two or three rain drops driven in
+by the wind. Something else appeared
+to have entered with them, for there
+was a rustle and breeze in the chamber,
+and then the literary man heard
+a whisper quite close to his ear.</p>
+
+<p>"Thou silly fellow!" cried the
+wind, for that it was, "to sit in thy
+chamber with closed doors, waiting
+for the story to come to thee! Nay,
+then, what is there in thy books half
+so clever or amusing as what one sees
+in real life? Listen, now, and I will
+tell thee what I saw one moonlight<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span>
+night as I blew over this wide German
+land."</p>
+
+
+<h4>THE STORY OF THE WIND.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">In</span> summer, all the world&mdash;of Leipsic&mdash;goes
+out of town, to Baden or
+Ems. Those who can afford it run
+over the Alps, to sunny Italy; but in
+winter&mdash;ah! then it is very different!</p>
+
+<p>One is glad enough, then, to remain
+at home by the warm stove; or
+if one goes out, one must be well
+wrapped up in furs and cloaks.</p>
+
+<p>The little boys slide and skate on
+the frozen river; the poorer folks go
+about in sledges, and the rich in splendid
+sleighs, with white fur robes and
+capering horses, which have little
+bells tied to their manes and tails.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Just such a sleigh as this stood, one
+bright moonlight night, before the door
+of the Burgomaster Von Geirstein, in
+the good town of Leipsic. The whole
+family were going in a body out of
+town, and now the hall door opened,
+and forth came the fat and stupid
+Burgomaster himself, with his fat and
+silly wife on his arm, followed by their
+pretty, blue-eyed daughter, Matilda,
+and her lover, Walther Von Blumenwald,
+a thriving young merchant.
+Her brother, Max, came last, a merry,
+good-natured young fellow, but who,
+certainly, was not very wise.</p>
+
+<p>Max took the driver's place; the
+others seated themselves within the
+large sleigh, and tucked the warm fur
+robes around them, and then, with a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span>
+crack of the whip, and a loud huzzah
+from the young men, the sleigh glided
+swiftly away.</p>
+
+<p>About five miles from the town, in
+the midst of the forest, was a large inn
+of the better sort, which had lately
+become a favorite resort of the
+wealthy who went sleighing in the
+winter. Balls, even, were given there,
+and there one got the most delicious
+mulled wine and Westphalia hams, and
+all sorts of ale, "Bremen," "Prysing,"
+"Emser ale," even "Brunswick Mumme."
+To this hotel, then, our party
+were bound.</p>
+
+<p>Merrily rang the bells, swiftly flew
+the sleigh over the frozen snow, and
+as they passed out at the city gates, the
+whole party broke into a joyous glee:<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class='poem'>
+"Listen, listen, listen to the merry sleigh bells!<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">How they jingle, jingle, ever blithe and ever clear,</span><br />
+With a tintinnabulation that so musically wells<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">As it thrills, and it thrills upon the ear!</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 7em;">Every dancing little note</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 7em;">Seems to gurgle from the throat</span><br />
+Of a bird, that in its happy song so eloquently tells<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 7em;">The joy it is to bound</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 7em;">O'er the cold and frozen ground,</span><br />
+To the ringing and the clinging of the bells!<br />
+<br />
+"Listen, listen, listen to the merry sleigh bells!<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">How they jingle, jingle, as the horses dash along;</span><br />
+What a story of our gladness their enticing music tells<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">As it chimes and it rhymes with the song!</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 7em;">Such a rollicking delight</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 7em;">Bubbles out upon the night</span><br />
+As their joy-creating burthen over hill and valley swells.<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 7em;">Every voice must join the tune</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 7em;">As we skim beneath the moon</span><br />
+To the tinkling and the twinkling of the bells!"<br />
+</div>
+
+<p>The sleigh had now turned out of
+the high road, and entered the forest.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span>
+For some time the way lay plain before
+them, but at length came a fork,
+where two roads met.</p>
+
+<p>"Now, then," exclaimed Max,
+"which way? Blumenwald, thou
+hast been to Ol&egrave;'s before&mdash;must I take
+the right hand or the left?"</p>
+
+<p>"Upon my word, I have forgotten!"
+exclaimed Walther. "It was
+a dark night when I drove out with
+my cousins; but, it appears to me,
+upon the whole, that we took the
+right hand road."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, we can only try," said
+Max; "at least, if we don't get to
+Ol&egrave;'s, we shall have had a merry sleigh
+ride."</p>
+
+<p>He shook the reins, and the impatient
+horses darted off; but, my stars!<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span>
+they had taken the wrong road!
+Deeper grew the wood; the roughness
+of the path momentarily increased;
+the trees became so thick that the
+moonlight no longer penetrated them,
+and Max at length stopped his horses
+once more, and gazed around him in
+bewilderment.</p>
+
+<p>"Potstausend!" exclaimed the
+Burgomaster; "where has the boy
+taken us? I tell you what, mein sonne,
+thou hadst best turn back, for we
+shall never get to Ol&egrave;'s to-night."</p>
+
+<p>"And thy sister will take her death
+of cold!" cried the Frau Von Geirstein,
+while Walther looked anxiously
+at the fair Matilda, who only smiled
+up at him, and drew her fur-lined
+hood more closely about her face.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Just as they were about to turn
+back, they heard a sound of sleigh-bells
+behind, and presently a small
+sleigh approached them, drawn by a
+spirited horse.</p>
+
+<p>Max, without more ado, hailed the
+stranger, and begged him to set them,
+if he could, on the road to Ol&egrave;'s.</p>
+
+<p>The new comer bowed courteously
+to the ladies, and replied, "I shall be
+most happy to direct you thither, my
+respectable friends. In short, then,
+you follow the road before you for a
+time, then turn to your right; next,
+pursue your way in a southeast direction
+for a mile; next, turn toward the
+northwest, and then&mdash;&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"What, sir!" interrupted Max,
+"do you suppose we can go to all<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span>
+points of the compass at once? What
+do you mean by your northwest and
+southeast?"</p>
+
+<p>"Potstausend! is the fellow making
+fun of us?" exclaimed the Burgomaster.</p>
+
+<p>"Surely the Herr Von Geirstein
+cannot suppose I would be guilty of
+so great an impertinence!" exclaimed
+the stranger. "It is true, the road is
+somewhat obscure; may I not also
+have the pleasure of driving you to
+Ol&egrave;'s?"</p>
+
+<p>"We thank you&mdash;you are most
+kind," replied the mollified Burgomaster,
+who never doubted for a moment
+that his vast importance caused him
+to be known to all the world; "but
+what will become of your sledge?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"Oh, I don't fear for the sledge&mdash;that
+can remain here among the underwood;
+and my horse can be attached
+in front of yours."</p>
+
+<p>This arrangement was soon effected,
+and the stranger, who was so
+muffled up in fur cap and coat, that
+scarcely a feature could be distinguished,
+mounted beside Max, and
+seized the reins.</p>
+
+<p>Donnerwetter! how he shouted at
+the horses! cracking his whip, and
+calling them all manner of strange
+names. "Now, then, pig with a
+wooden head! Get along with you,
+toad of serpents! To the mischief with
+the whole team!" till the foam flew
+on all sides, the iron-clad heels of the
+steeds rang like hammer upon anvil<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span>
+on the frozen ground, and sparks
+scintillated in the air!</p>
+
+<p>Meanwhile, however, the effect of
+this rapid motion on the Burgomaster's
+family was anything but exhilarating.
+Now that the bustle of setting
+out was at an end, they one and all
+began to feel afraid of their strange
+guide, and to think there was something
+more than common in their adventure.</p>
+
+<p>"He's a very odd-looking man,
+after all," whispered the Burgomaster's
+wife; "how do we know what
+sort of a fellow he is, and if he is taking
+us to Ol&egrave;'s at all? I, for my part,
+believe he's in league with some robber
+band, and we shall all be murdered."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"Potstausend! it looks very much
+like it!" exclaimed the Burgomaster,
+who, although so big a man, was
+mighty chicken-hearted. "I wish
+Max had not been so confoundedly
+hasty in accepting his advice."</p>
+
+<p>"I beg thy pardon there, father-in-law,"
+returned Walther; "it was
+thou who bade him come in."</p>
+
+<p>The Burgomaster was about to
+make some peppery reply, when Max
+suddenly broke upon the whispered
+conversation by exclaiming:</p>
+
+<p>"Since you are so good, sir, as to
+drive us, perhaps you will inform us
+to whom we are obliged."</p>
+
+<p>But the stranger, who, before this,
+had been the noisiest of the party, appeared<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span>
+to have become suddenly
+dumb, for he answered not a word.</p>
+
+<p>"Come, sir," repeated Walther,
+"tell us who you are."</p>
+
+<p>No answer.</p>
+
+<p>Max now half jumped from his
+seat, exclaiming, "But we insist on
+knowing, sir, and, furthermore, I
+should like to know if you are taking
+us to Ol&egrave;'s or not."</p>
+
+<p>The stranger turned at this, and
+with a smile that displayed his glittering
+teeth, replied:</p>
+
+<p>"My good people, I am taking
+you just where you are destined to
+go. As to my name, that is my affair.
+Remember, your safety depends on
+me; certainly, you had better not
+provoke me, or&mdash;&mdash;" here his speech<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span>
+suddenly came to an end, and a fresh
+series of yells followed to the excited
+horses, which all this time were tearing
+along as though a troop of fiends were
+in pursuit.</p>
+
+<p>"It must be the Evil One himself!"
+cried the Burgomaster, trembling in
+every limb, while the ladies screamed
+and clung together.</p>
+
+<p>"Not quite so bad as that, I hope,"
+said Walther, half laughing, yet excited,
+and, to tell the truth, somewhat
+alarmed also.</p>
+
+<p>"We are all fools if we allow this
+thing to go on!" shouted Max, who
+had suddenly recovered his spirits.
+"Walther, thou wilt stand by me.
+Give me the reins, sir, or hold them
+longer at your peril!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>As he spoke, he endeavored to
+seize the reins, while Walther stood
+up in the sleigh and grasped the whip.</p>
+
+<p>All at once the stranger let fall the
+reins, and as they trailed on the
+ground, he snatched the whip from
+Walther's hand, gave a sudden leap
+into the air, and vaulted on the back
+of the near horse, where he sat at
+ease, and drove postillion, without
+their being able to help themselves.</p>
+
+<p>"Alas, we have no arms!" groaned
+the Burgomaster; "we may as well
+be resigned to our fate. Kiss me, my
+children; you may never kiss your old
+papa again!"</p>
+
+<p>On this, the whole quartette fell to
+weeping, blowing their noses most
+earnestly from time to time, when,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span>
+just as their grief was at its height,
+and they were fairly sobbing in each
+other's arms, a sound of music broke
+upon their ears! The next moment
+lights gleamed through the trees, the
+sleigh took a sharp turn, passed
+through an open gate, and drew up
+before the very door of&mdash;Ol&egrave;'s! For,
+in reality, both roads led to the inn,
+although one was much more intricate
+and less frequented than the
+other.</p>
+
+<p>The Von Geirsteins were for a moment
+too much astounded to speak.
+Then the mysterious driver, swinging
+himself lightly off his horse, and doffing
+his fur cap, showing them a face
+not only handsome, but perfectly familiar
+to them, exclaimed:<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"You see, my dear friends, that it
+was neither a bandit nor His Satanic
+Majesty who drove you by the nearest
+road to a robber's castle or the lower
+regions, but your very good neighbor,
+Fritz Von Eisenfeldt, who has had at
+once the pleasure and amusement of
+taking you safe and sound to Ol&egrave;'s,
+after all!"</p>
+
+<p>As the wind uttered these last
+words, it whisked up the chimney and
+disappeared. The literary man sat
+upright in his chair with a sudden
+start, and opened his eyes wide.</p>
+
+<p>"Good heavens!" he cried, "have
+I been dreaming, or has the wind
+really related the tale?" He could
+not at all tell this, but he remembered
+every word of the story, and wrote it<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span>
+on&mdash;yes! this very piece of paper,
+where you now read it!</p>
+
+
+<h3>SECOND EVENING.</h3>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The</span> following evening the literary
+man could not but think of the advice
+of the wind. He went to the window,
+and looked out on the street, to see if
+there might not be a story there.</p>
+
+<p>The houses opposite were as handsome
+as on this side of the way, and
+exactly like them; the gas lamps
+burned brilliantly, and everything appeared
+as genteel and stupid as could
+possibly be conceived. "There's not a
+story to be met with in this part of the
+town," thought the literary man. "I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span>
+must go out, and see if I can find one
+elsewhere."</p>
+
+<p>The snow flakes were rapidly falling
+from the sky, but the literary man
+wrapped his warm cloak around him,
+and went bravely out. It is not every
+one who has courage to go out in the
+snow! that is, the snow at Friedrichshafen.
+It is sure to be so wet and
+cold, with large bits of icy hail among
+it, covering the ground with a slippery
+compound, that one cannot step upon
+without danger of falling.</p>
+
+<p>However, out he went, and slipped
+and scrambled along the pavement.
+Kribbedy, krabbledy, plump! down
+he sat on a neighbor's doorstep; not
+without exclaiming, "Potstausend!"</p>
+
+<p>As he sat there with a rueful countenance,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span>
+the thought passed through
+his mind, "If, now, the wind would but
+give me the least idea how to begin, I
+might compose a tale while I wait for
+a hackney coach, for walk I won't!"
+and he looked up and down the street,
+but no coach came in sight.</p>
+
+<p>All at once it was as though a
+merry voice whispered in his ear&mdash;yes,
+the literary man felt sure that the
+snow said to him "S-o-o! my good
+friend, the wind has sent thee to me!
+Fie upon thee, that thou canst not
+compose a tale without help, for all
+thy learning! Well, pay attention,
+and I will tell thee some of the frolics
+of my merry cousin, the Frost. Now,
+listen."</p>
+
+<p>And the literary man listened with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span>
+all his ears, and quite forgot that he
+was looking for a hackney coach, and
+that he was sitting on the steps of his
+neighbor, the Herr Hartman.</p>
+
+
+<h4>THE STORY OF THE SNOW, ABOUT CAPTAIN JACK.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The</span> children were hurrying homeward
+on a cold winter's evening, from
+the forest, where they had been binding
+fagots. As they scampered along,
+some one seized upon them from behind
+and nipped their ears sharply.
+"Fie, ugly Captain Jack!" cried they;
+"so thou art at work again! one may
+easily see that!" and they would have
+pursued their spiteful enemy; but he
+was already gone, and they were now
+obliged to hasten onward.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Captain Jack had slipped back to
+the forest, and thrown himself stealthily
+on the ground, laughing to see
+their discomfiture. The moon shone
+on the spot where he lay, and then all
+the dried grass appeared white and
+sparkling, as though it were covered
+with glistening spray. At one moment
+one saw him lying gazing at one with
+laughing eyes; the next, it seemed as
+though only the hoar dew rested
+there, and glittered in the moonlight.</p>
+
+<p>"Bur-r-r!" growled the north wind,
+as he flew through the forest. "Hollo!
+Captain Jack; many thanks for
+the Ice King's message which thou
+broughtest me. Come, wilt thou ride
+on my back in return?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"Many thanks!" replied Captain
+Jack; "I prefer to travel on foot, and
+amuse myself by the way."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, be that as thou wilt!" replied
+the wind, and he flew off in a
+huff; for he considered that he had
+made a very honorable offer, and had
+been slighted.</p>
+
+<p>But Captain Jack ran gayly from
+the forest; taking long strides over
+the grass, and sowing it with little
+white pearls, breathing on the bare
+branches of the trees, and sheathing
+them in glittering mail, pouncing slyly
+on stray wayfarers, and pinching their
+ears and noses till they roared again!
+Then Captain Jack laughed; it sounded
+like the sharp crack of a pistol
+through the still air.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>By the banks of the river hares
+were creeping, and complaining bitterly
+of the cold. "Ah!" said they, "if
+we could but find a warm hole to
+creep into, or if we had but thick,
+curly coats, like the bears!"</p>
+
+<p>"Do you think I have a warm
+coat to give any one?" quoth Captain
+Jack, and he breathed on their long
+whiskers, which now stood quite
+stiffly. "Oh hute-tute-tute-tu!" cried
+they, hopping up and down with
+pain; "oh my toes! my poor toes!"</p>
+
+<p>Captain Jack also danced with
+merriment; he had neither soul nor
+feeling, and couldn't understand being
+sorry for any one.</p>
+
+<p>Over the river, the lights of the
+town were gleaming. They shone like<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span>
+stars that had stooped a little lower
+from heaven. Captain Jack skipped
+lightly across the waves rolling so
+softly from shore to shore, and as he
+passed, the water smoothed out under
+his feet; it was as though some one
+had placed upon it a thin sheet of
+glass.</p>
+
+<p>He ran through the silent streets
+of the town, where all the world had
+gone to sleep, and peered in at many
+casements. Sometimes he beheld the
+good folks dreaming, with the hard,
+ugly frown still on their faces which
+they had worn when they were
+awake; and then he slipped into the
+room&mdash;yes, a key hole was large
+enough for him to creep through if he
+chose! and breathed upon them so,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span>
+that they shivered in their beds, in
+spite of the warm eider down they
+had tucked around them. "The window
+was open on a crack," they
+would say on the following day; but
+it needed not a crack for Captain Jack
+to enter if he thought they deserved
+it!</p>
+
+<p>In other chambers he beheld lovely
+little children, with the faces of angels;
+or venerable grandsires; with
+their snowy hair floating over the pillow,
+and then he drew the most beautiful
+pictures on the window pane, to
+amuse them when they should wake.
+He crept slyly into the larders of
+thrifty housewives, and, with a touch,
+made chickens and ducks hanging
+there, quite stiff and tasteless; he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span>
+skipped to the cistern, and magically
+rendered the pump handle immovable;
+he ran about the streets and
+played tricks with the bright gas
+lamps, and they went out, as though a
+puff of wind had blown over them.
+And, last of all, he ran against a stout
+Burgomaster, returning homeward
+from a merry supper, and so pinched
+the end of his red bottle-nose, that it
+tingled again!</p>
+
+<p>"I'll have you taken to prison,
+you scoundrel!" roared the Burgomaster;
+but how was he to find Captain
+Jack? Only where a large fire
+was raging did Captain Jack shrink
+away in haste; heat did not seem to
+agree with him, for he looked strangely
+small and shrunken.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>He was now weary of the city, and
+hastened lightly to the seaside. In the
+harbor ships lay at anchor, ice-bound;
+and on one of these a young sailor
+was keeping watch for thieves; but he
+saw not Captain Jack coming softly
+on board, and peering over his shoulder
+to see what was written on the
+paper he held in his hand. A lantern
+hung from the mast and shed a feeble
+light on the tear-blistered page, where
+the pious mother implored a blessing
+on her son. As he read, the young
+sailor also wept; but Captain Jack
+had no taste for tears. He breathed
+on the letter, and the sparkling drops
+that the reader let fall became beads
+of ice. The sailor hastily turned, and
+for a moment fancied he beheld the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span>
+brilliant eyes of Captain Jack gazing
+upon him; but the next instant he saw
+only two glittering icicles, which had
+formed on the ropes.</p>
+
+<p>The sea gulls flew in circles round
+the vessel; late as it was, they still
+hoped something might be thrown out.
+Captain Jack caught them by the long
+feathers of their wings, and they tumbled
+on the deck, and hopped stiffly
+about. "Creesh, creesh!" cried they;
+"it is that villain, Captain Jack, who
+has served us thus! Ugh! how stiff
+we are!"</p>
+
+<p>Crick, crack! sounded through the
+air. It was Captain Jack laughing at
+them.</p>
+
+<p>"How merry it is in winter!" he
+cried. "It is there my uncle, the Ice<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span>
+King, holds his court in the palace at
+the North Pole. The great icebergs
+come crashing to the very door to do
+him homage, and the white young
+lady bears dance the Polonaise so
+gracefully! We don't spend a moment
+in silly thought about anything&mdash;no!
+we frisk and caper about, and even
+my uncle comes down from his throne
+and hops around, as well as his age
+will permit! and there I have such
+glorious sport in the long moonlight
+nights!"</p>
+
+<p>"Bur-r-r!" grumbled the north
+wind, sweeping by. "Thou hadst better
+hurry home, thou silly madcap!
+The sun is coming, and he is no friend
+of thine!"</p>
+
+<p>"Many thanks!" cried Captain<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span>
+Jack again, with a graceful bow;
+"I see, truly, that my sport is over for
+to-night!" and he now looked about
+him with mischievous eyes, to see if
+there were not some last trick that he
+could play before he fled to his forest
+cave. But there was no time to lose,
+for already the round red sun, winking
+and blinking sleepily behind his bed
+curtains of red clouds, was rising from
+the sea; and, with a sudden leap, Captain
+Jack flung himself off the ship,
+and hastened away.</p>
+
+<p>The river was all covered with
+ice; the little hares skipped over it;
+in the town everybody was bawling
+for water, and the pump handles were
+hard and fast; the Burgomaster had
+his nose tied up in brown paper and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span>
+warm vinegar; the naughty people
+went about with cricks in their necks
+and colds in their heads; while every
+withered grass blade, every branch of
+tree and bush, and every pane in the
+windows, was covered with the beautiful,
+fantastic, glittering handiwork
+of <span class="smcap">Captain Jack Frost</span>!</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>As the story ended, the door above
+suddenly opened, and the Herr Hartman
+himself came out; and certainly
+looked somewhat surprised at seeing
+his good friend sitting there on the
+lower step.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, my dear Herr Ekstein!"
+he exclaimed. "Is anything the matter?"
+and he hastened down the steps.</p>
+
+<p>The literary man jumped up, and
+saw the Herr holding out his hand.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"Nay, then, my good friend!" he
+exclaimed, "I have been hearing the
+merriest tale!"</p>
+
+<p>"But come in! come in!" cried
+the Herr Hartman. "Some of our
+friends are with us; let us spend a sociable
+evening together."</p>
+
+<p>With a pleased and happy face the
+literary man entered the house, and
+the warm room, where the company
+were assembled; and, amid peals of
+laughter, related both the story of
+Captain Jack, and that of the sleigh-ride
+to Ol&egrave;'s, with the deuse himself
+as driver!</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span></p>
+<h2>THE CABBAGES;</h2>
+
+<h3>OR, THE DISCREET WIFE.</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">In</span> a remote part of Swabia there
+once dwelt a rich peasant, who was
+noted in all the neighborhood for his
+shrewdness. No one could get the
+better of him in a bargain, and no
+man managed his farm with such extraordinary
+success. His crops always
+seemed to flourish when the whole
+country round was desolated with the
+blight; his hay was sure to be got in
+the very night before a flood swept<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span>
+away the ricks of his neighbors; his
+cows gave the most milk, his oxen
+were the fattest, and his fields the
+most fruitful of the whole valley. In
+short, Wise Peter, for so he was
+called, became wealthy year after
+year, in a way which made his less
+fortunate neighbors shake their heads
+enviously, declaring "that such marvellous
+good luck could only be obtained
+by a bargain with the Evil One,
+or the assistance of gnomes." Whenever
+any of these stories came to the
+ears of Wise Peter, he would smile
+and say, "Ah! who knows, indeed!"
+but not a word more would he utter.</p>
+
+<p>Among his other possessions, Wise
+Peter owned an immense field, which
+was planted entirely with cabbages.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span>
+If one stood in the middle and gazed
+around, nothing but cabbages and
+more cabbages grew, as far as the eye
+could reach; and as the fat burghers
+of the town were all extremely fond
+of sauerkraut, these were a source
+of great profit.</p>
+
+<p>It happened that Peter had a wife
+as well known for her folly and empty
+head, as her husband for his sagacity;
+and as he was rightly named Wise
+Peter, so was she equally well called
+Silly Catharine. How the two came
+to be united was a mystery to every
+one; for certain it is, that Silly Catharine
+had nothing to recommend her
+to a sensible man, but her being young
+and pretty.</p>
+
+<p>Now Silly Catharine, who was as<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span>
+witless as she could well be, was fonder
+of cabbages than anything else in the
+world. She ate sauerkraut for breakfast,
+cabbage soup for dinner, fried
+cabbage for supper, and boiled cabbage
+for a noonday treat. Not even
+the constant scoldings of her husband,
+or the jeers of the neighbors at her
+folly, could distress her in any great
+degree, if she had only plenty of cabbages.</p>
+
+<p>One morning, Wise Peter loaded
+his wagon with grain and started off
+to sell it at the distant market town,
+a good day's journey to and from the
+village. "Now, Catharine," he said to
+his wife as he departed, "I want you
+to keep your wits about you, such as
+you possess, while I am gone; therefore<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span>
+attend to me. You must give orders
+that the men reap the wheat in
+the large field, take care that the
+young turkeys do not get among the
+brambles, and, above all, see that no
+one enters the little storeroom. They
+are going to tax every one who is
+worth five hundred guilders and over;
+and as I don't choose to give my hard
+earnings for the support of a parcel
+of lazy nobles and a useless court, I
+have hidden all the money bags there;
+therefore, be careful that nobody
+knows of it but yourself." So saying,
+Peter mounted his wagon and drove
+off. Silly Catharine looked after him
+as long as he could be seen, and then
+went back to the kitchen, determined<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span>
+to show her husband how clever she
+had become.</p>
+
+<p>"Shall I go and tell the goose girl
+to hunt the turkeys into the coop
+first?" thought she; "or shall I put
+on the cabbage to boil? I think I will
+set my cabbage on first; it will take
+but a moment, the turkeys are safe till
+then."</p>
+
+<p>So she went to the larder, got out
+a fine large cabbage, and hung the
+pot over the fire, that it might boil
+quickly. The steam of the cabbage
+cooking ascended to her nose with a
+delicious perfume, and at last, what
+with hanging over the pot enveloped
+in steam, and the heat of the fire, she
+felt very drowsy, and falling into her
+chair, was soon soundly asleep. She<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span>
+had not slept long before in came the
+goose girl, whose business it was to
+take charge of the fowls of all sorts,
+crying out, "Oh, mistress! mistress:
+the turkeys have got among the brambles,
+and cannot get out!"</p>
+
+<p>"Mercy upon us!" exclaimed
+Catharine, springing up and wringing
+her hands; "what will Peter say to
+me! He will, doubtless, break his
+stick over my shoulders. If it were not
+for the cabbage on the fire, I should
+certainly throw myself from the window!"
+So saying, she ran out into
+the field, but too late; the little turkeys
+were all in the very middle of a
+bramble bush, which had tangled in
+their feathers, until it was impossible
+to get them out; beside which, a fox<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span>
+had entered the barn yard in the
+goose girl's absence, by the gate, which
+she had carelessly left swinging open,
+and carried off the biggest and handsomest
+Poland rooster, that Wise Peter
+valued even more than the turkeys.
+About this last loss, however,
+she said nothing, hoping that her mistress
+wouldn't remark it. This, indeed,
+proved to be the case; for, without
+noticing the absence of poor
+Chanticleer, Catharine burst into
+tears, exclaiming, "What is to be
+done? The only way is to cut the
+bush down."</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 399px;">
+<img src="images/i002.jpg" width="399" height="261" alt="THE FATE OF POOR CHANTICLEER." title="" />
+<span class="caption">THE FATE OF POOR CHANTICLEER.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>As she spoke, she seized an axe,
+and with one blow felled the bush to
+the ground. But what was her horror
+to find, as she let fall the axe, that she<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span>
+had also struck off the heads of every
+one of the turkeys!</p>
+
+<p>"Oh heavens! what a misfortune!"
+cried Catharine; "I am the most unlucky
+woman in the world! <i>Now</i> Wise
+Peter will not leave a whole bone in
+my body! Alas, the turkeys would
+have sold for eight skillings apiece
+when they had grown fat and big!
+The only thing that consoles me is,
+that I shall have such a famous supper
+ready for him. When he tastes
+my fine cabbage soup, I am sure he
+must forget to be vexed!" There were
+still, however, the bodies of the turkeys
+to see after; so she took out her
+needle and thread, sewed the heads of
+the turkeys on their necks, and set
+them upright in the coop, that they<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span>
+might look as though they were still
+alive.</p>
+
+<p>After this precious piece of cleverness,
+Silly Catharine returned to the
+house to see how her cabbage came
+on. But she had been gone so long
+that the water in the pot had all boiled
+away, and the cabbage was burning
+on hard and fast to the bottom of the
+pot. "Why, bless me! where can the
+water have gone to?" cried Silly
+Catharine. "It must have all drawn
+up chimney! Nevertheless, it would
+be a pity to lose it; full of the cabbage
+juice as it was, it might well have
+been made into soup; and Wise Peter
+has told me a hundred times never to
+waste anything. I will get something<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span>
+to let down the chimney and see if I
+can dip it up."</p>
+
+<p>So saying, she began to look about
+for a rope long enough to reach down
+the chimney; but she couldn't find
+one. All at once her eye fell on the
+bucket standing outside the well. Joyfully
+rushing to it, she cut the rope,
+and dragging the bucket after her,
+scrambled out on the roof, and began
+letting it down the chimney. While she
+was thus engaged, a poor little frightened
+swallow, who had built its nest
+there, suddenly flew up the chimney
+and darted right in her face. Silly
+Catharine was so much frightened,
+that she gave a loud scream and let
+go of the rope. The bucket, of course,
+fell into the middle of the fire, and in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span>
+a twinkling was burnt to cinders.
+Down from the roof, and into the
+kitchen, rushed Catherine, but too
+late; nothing save the iron hoops now
+remained of the bucket.</p>
+
+<p>"What shall I do?" cried Silly
+Catharine. "Not an hour passes but
+some new misfortune occurs. Alas! I
+am no longer able to draw water for
+my soup! but stay, I think of a way!"
+So saying, she took the pot from the
+hook, tied a rope to the handle, let it
+down the well, with the cabbage still
+in it, and when it was filled carried it
+back to the house, and hung it over
+the fire.</p>
+
+<p>Soon afterward the dairy maid
+went to draw some water for dinner.
+She could not find the bucket; so she<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span>
+let down a milk pail instead; but
+when she came to taste the water, she
+tasted also the flavor of the cabbage,
+and ran to her mistress, calling out,
+"Why, mistress, who has been meddling
+with our fine well? It had once
+the best water in the neighborhood,
+but now the flavor is precisely that of
+a greasy, horrible cabbage!"</p>
+
+<p>"Nonsense!" cried Silly Catharine,
+with an air of contempt; "it is all
+your fancy. Don't tell me that water
+can taste of cabbages!" Her heart
+beat with affright, however, and as
+soon as the servant maid had left the
+room, she ran in great terror to the
+wine cellar. "What the servant said
+must have been true," thought she;
+"and Wise Peter will never forgive<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span>
+me when he finds out that I have
+spoilt the well. I will, therefore, pour
+some wine into the water, to take
+away the taste of the cabbages." So
+saying, she seized one of the wine barrels,
+and in the strength of terror she
+managed, with great difficulty, to push
+it up the cellar stairs, and roll it
+through the kitchen out to the well.
+Then she removed the spile and tilted
+the cask forward; when out streamed
+at least thirty gallons of the finest Tokay
+down the well!</p>
+
+<p>Having done this, Silly Catharine
+hid the barrel away with great precipitation;
+and, determined to leave
+nothing else undone, she called the
+reapers and bid them go directly to
+the large field and reap the wheat.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span>
+Then she went back, and began eating
+her dinner, saying, "Thank heaven, I
+have a good dinner to sit down to, at
+least; there are always cabbages
+enough!"</p>
+
+<p>Meanwhile, the reapers made ready
+to go a-field; and before they went,
+one of them drew a bucket of water
+to carry with them. But no sooner
+had they tasted the water, than they
+cried out, "'Tis wine! the finest
+wine!" and scarcely able to believe
+their senses, they drew up bucket after
+bucket of this new liquor, drank till
+they became drunk, and then tumbled
+senseless among the wheat; for it
+happened that the well was very low,
+and what they drew was nearly all
+wine. While they lay there, a violent<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span>
+hail storm came on, and in an hour's
+time the whole of the wheat was
+beaten to the ground, drenched,
+crushed, and ruined.</p>
+
+<p>Unconscious of this fresh misfortune,
+Silly Catharine prepared her soup
+for supper, and then, having finished
+her work, she sat down in the front
+porch and began to knit, feeling as if
+at last all her troubles were over.
+Presently the gate was opened, and a
+man entered the garden. It was he
+who was appointed to gather the tax,
+and knowing Wise Peter to be well
+off, it was to his house that he first
+came.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, you are very much mistaken
+if you think I will pay your outrageous
+tax!" cried Silly Catharine. "No, no!<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span>
+Wise Peter would know better than
+that, and his wife will not be behind
+hand! He told me before he went
+that he had no money to pay, and if
+he had, he wouldn't give it to support
+your lazy nobles; so be off with you!"</p>
+
+<p>While Catharine had been making
+this tirade, the tax gatherer, to whom
+she had unwittingly given a valuable
+hint, hit upon a new plan by which to
+secure his guilders. So as she paused,
+out of breath, he exclaimed, in a contemptuous
+tone: "There is no use in
+making such a noise, good woman; I
+see plainly that I was a fool to suppose
+the owner of this beggarly house
+was worth five hundred guilders. Five
+kreutzers would be much nearer the
+mark!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"What! do you dare to call the
+house of Wise Peter beggarly!" cried
+Catharine in a rage; "beggarly, indeed!
+you could never get such a fine
+one if you live a thousand years."</p>
+
+<p>"And I repeat that it is a beggarly
+house," said the other; "with a poor,
+miserable family in it."</p>
+
+<p>"You don't believe me?" screamed
+Silly Catharine; "well, then I'll show
+you what you call poor; a pretty
+thing, indeed, that you should say we
+are a beggarly family!" And, bouncing
+from her seat, she led the tax
+gatherer to the store room, and dragging
+the money bags from their concealment,
+she opened them triumphantly,
+saying, "There, what do you
+call <i>that?</i>"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"At least a thousand guilders!"
+exclaimed the tax gatherer, astonished
+at seeing so much more than he had
+expected. "So, you refuse to pay the
+tax when you have all this money in
+the house! I confiscate it all in the
+name of the king, and you may think
+yourself lucky if you and your precious
+husband (who must be wise, since he
+married such a wife as you), don't get
+thrown into prison besides." So saying,
+he snatched up the bags of guilders,
+while Catharine stood staring at
+him in mute horror, and in an instant
+was out of the house, and gone on his
+way.</p>
+
+<p>Nearly stunned with this new mishap,
+Catharine burst into tears, and
+ran down stairs crying, as though her<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span>
+heart would break. "What is to become
+of me," she sobbed, "when Peter
+comes home? He will certainly
+kill me for having shown the tax
+gatherer the money! Nevertheless,
+what could I do? It was impossible
+to have people say that Wise Peter
+was a beggarly creature&mdash;I could not
+allow that!" and, a little re-assured,
+she dried her eyes and went to taste
+the soup. It was nearly done, and
+tasted deliciously. "Ah!" cried Silly
+Catharine, "the soup is better than
+usual! It quite repays me for all to
+think that we still have the finest cabbages!"</p>
+
+<p>In the mean time, one of the
+reapers, who had drank less wine than
+the others, woke up sober, and as soon<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span>
+as he found he could stand on his legs,
+he ran post haste to the village to
+relate the wonderful tale. The place
+being small and the gossips many, it
+was not half an hour before the whole
+population knew the extraordinary
+occurrence that had taken place.
+Even the cur&eacute;, the magistrate, and the
+doctor rushed into the street to hear
+the news, and a pretty uproar there
+was. "Said I not truly that Wise
+Peter was in league with the Evil
+One?" exclaimed one, "for only thus
+can the miracle of a spring of wine be
+accounted for." "True, true!" cried
+the listeners; "a wizard he must be;
+and that of a right dangerous sort!"</p>
+
+<p>Just at this moment, the wagon
+of Wise Peter was seen coming along<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span>
+the road. The impatient villagers
+could not wait for him to approach
+them, but rushed toward the wagon
+and surrounded it on every side.
+"How now, wretched wizard!" they
+one and all shouted; "dare you look
+us in the face when we have found
+you out in your sorceries? Away with
+you to prison!" and, so saying, they
+laid hold of Wise Peter, dragged him
+out of the wagon, and bore him toward
+the magistrate. In vain the wretched
+man begged for some explanation, declared
+a hundred times over that he
+was no wizard, but an honest peasant;
+they only shouted, tauntingly, "A
+pretty story for a man who turns his
+well springs into the finest wine! no<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span>
+wizard, indeed! say, rather, a wizard
+of the worst kind!"</p>
+
+<p>With these words, they hauled him
+before the magistrate, where, again,
+the reaper repeated his story, adding,
+by way of proof, "If you don't believe
+me, go and see the other reapers;
+there they lie drunk, where I left
+them."</p>
+
+<p>"You hear what this honest man
+says," said the magistrate. "We have
+long suspected you of sorcery, but this
+proves the matter at once. Either you
+must forfeit a hundred guilders, as ordained
+by law in such cases, or you
+must go to prison."</p>
+
+<p>Almost distracted, Wise Peter exclaimed,
+"You have seen fit, worthy
+magistrate, to accuse me of a crime<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span>
+of which, so far from being guilty, I
+know nothing whatever. When I left
+home this morning, I swear the water
+was as fresh and pure as possible. I
+know that some envious people had
+long accused me of practising black
+arts, and if Industry and Prudence
+are black arts, I am certainly guilty;
+but in this matter of the water, I am
+as innocent as my own wife!"</p>
+
+<p>"All this is very fine," answered
+the magistrate; "but it happens that
+the bewitched water can be produced;"
+and turning to the reaper, he
+said, "Have you any of this water
+about you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, worthy magistrate," replied
+the reaper; "as I came away from the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span>
+field, I filled my flask with what was
+left, and brought it with me."</p>
+
+<p>The flask was handed to Peter,
+and no sooner had he tasted it, than
+he fell back aghast, exclaiming,
+"Good heaven, it <i>is</i> wine! and very
+like Tokay!"</p>
+
+<p>"What! you confess it yourself?"
+cried the magistrate. "Don't hope,
+then, for mercy! You shall now pay
+two hundred guilders, or go to prison
+for a year!"</p>
+
+<p>"Mercy! mercy!" cried the unfortunate
+man, falling on his knees.
+"Consider my family, worthy magistrate;
+do not disgrace them by sending
+me to prison! I see the water has
+been changed, but not by me; and
+though you will not believe me, I can<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span>
+solemnly assure you, with perfect
+truth, that I am innocent."</p>
+
+<p>"Pay or go to prison!" answered
+the magistrate inexorably.</p>
+
+<p>With many tears and groans, the
+unlucky Peter drew a purse full of
+guilders from his pocket and paid over
+the whole proceeds of his sale of
+wheat, which only amounted to a
+hundred and five guilders; the magistrate
+remarking that he would let him
+off with that if he would solemnly
+swear never to practise the black art
+any more, and to unbewitch his well
+as speedily as possible. This Peter
+did, in despair of bringing them to
+reason, and having been thus severely
+punished for a crime he was utterly
+guiltless of, he mounted his wagon<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span>
+again, and rode home in a state of
+mind that can better be imagined than
+described.</p>
+
+<p>When he reached his own home
+he rapped on the window as usual, to
+warn his wife, and Catharine rushed
+out to meet him, and, throwing her
+arms round his neck, cried, "Oh, Peter,
+I am so glad you have returned;
+the good cabbage soup is all ready for
+you; so come right in and eat it!"</p>
+
+<p>"Eat!" exclaimed Wise Peter,
+"how can I swallow a mouthful when
+I am so overwhelmed with misfortune?"</p>
+
+<p>"What! you also!" said Catharine;
+"alas! what has happened?"</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 382px;">
+<img src="images/i003.jpg" width="382" height="400" alt="PETER&#39;S RETURN HOME." title="" />
+<span class="caption">PETER&#39;S RETURN HOME.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>With accents that trembled with
+rage and grief, Wise Peter told how<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span>
+he had been treated in the village;
+but he had scarcely made an end before
+Catharine, bursting into tears, exclaimed,
+"Oh, what will become of
+me! Have mercy, Peter, for it was I
+who poured the wine down the well!"</p>
+
+<p>"Poured wine down the well!"
+cried Peter, starting in astonishment;
+"then, for heaven's sake, why did you
+do that?"</p>
+
+<p>"Because," sobbed his wife, "the
+water tasted of cabbages!"</p>
+
+<p>"Of cabbages!" repeated the
+peasant, in greater surprise than ever,
+"and what made it taste of cabbages?"</p>
+
+<p>"Because I dipped up water in
+the cabbage pot," cried Silly Catharine.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"And where was the bucket?"
+asked her husband.</p>
+
+<p>"I burnt it, trying to dip the water
+out of the chimney, that had been
+drawn up from the cabbage pot!"
+gasped Catharine, feeling that everything
+must now be told, since she had
+begun.</p>
+
+<p>Wise Peter took two or three
+strides across the room in silence;
+then, making a violent effort to speak
+quietly, he said, "And why, Catharine,
+since you supposed that water could
+be drawn up a chimney, did you leave
+the pot unwatched?"</p>
+
+<p>Almost in a scream, Silly Catharine
+broke out, "Because I was sewing on
+the turkeys' heads that I struck off
+cutting down the bramble bush!!"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"Now, was ever any man tormented
+with such a fool of a wife!" shouted
+Peter, almost beside himself with rage.
+"I could beat you with pleasure for
+acting so witlessly, but that, alas!
+would not pay for what you have lost
+for me this day. A hundred and five
+guilders of my precious money have I
+been made to pay for your foolery,
+besides losing my Tokay wine, my
+field of wheat, and all my fine young
+turkeys! at least a hundred guilders
+more!"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, and that's not the worst!"
+cried Catharine.</p>
+
+<p>"What! is there any more to
+come?" exclaimed Peter, almost out
+of his senses.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," stammered Silly Catharine;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span>
+"the man came here to gather the
+tax, and I told him, as you said, that
+you were far too clever to pay it, and
+that he would get nothing more out
+of me. Then he said you were a beggarly
+fellow, not worth five kreutzers,
+and, of course, I couldn't allow that;
+so I showed him the guilders in the
+store room, to prove that he spoke
+falsely, and he took every one of
+them! I am so sorry, but never
+mind, there is excellent cabbage soup
+for supper!"</p>
+
+<p>At this, Peter could restrain himself
+no longer, and falling upon Silly
+Catharine, he trounced her well with
+his stick, until she cried out for mercy.
+"There!" he said at last, throwing
+down the stick, "you have been<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span>
+well punished, though not half enough
+to pay for the mischief you have
+done."</p>
+
+<p>Silly Catharine dried her eyes upon
+her apron, and with a reproachful
+look exclaimed, "Still you have beaten
+me, Wise Peter, for what I could not
+help; for, if the turkeys had not been
+killed, I should never have stayed
+away so long; if the water had not
+flown up chimney, I should not have
+burnt the bucket; and if the well had
+not tasted of cabbages, I should not
+have thrown in the wine. And, above
+all, dear Peter, if that abominable man
+spoke ill of you, how could I, your
+wife, avoid showing him that he lied?
+Besides, the case is not so bad; we
+have lost nearly all, it is true; but,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span>
+thank heaven, we still have delicious
+cabbages!"</p>
+
+<p>In spite of himself, Wise Peter
+could not help bursting out laughing.
+"After all, Catharine," he exclaimed,
+"I see you did not intend doing me
+any harm; if you are a fool, that, certainly,
+is not your fault; therefore, in
+future let us never be separated. Come,
+you pretty goose, let us go and eat
+cabbage soup."</p>
+
+<p>So saying, Wise Peter kissed his
+wife's blooming cheek, and led her
+into the house. They sat down with
+contented hearts to the nice, smoking
+soup, and after supper walked out
+among the spreading cabbages.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span></p>
+<h2>THE WONDERFUL LEGEND OF THE GOLD STONE.</h2>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">In</span> those far away times when the
+world was yet in its baby clothes, and
+people were not as wise as they are
+nowadays, there dwelt in the good
+town of London a poor tailor's apprentice
+named Bartlemy Bowbell. He
+might be called poor in a double
+sense; for not only was he such a
+lazy, idle fellow that he scarcely ever
+took a stitch, and so seldom had a
+copper of his own, but he was a miserable
+workman, and, like an organ-grinder's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span>
+monkey, or a blind man's
+dog, obtained more kicks than halfpence.</p>
+
+<p>In the same room with him were
+several other tailors; who sang together
+one of two tunes as they
+stitched. If they were paid for every
+day's work, be it much or little, they
+sang, "By the d-a-y! by the d-a-a-y!
+by the d-a-a-a-y!" and the needles
+went in and out as slowly as the
+coaches of a funeral procession; but
+if they were paid for every garment
+they finished, then they sang,
+"By the job! by the job! by the
+job!" and the needles stitched away
+like an express train! Bartlemy, however,
+crossed his legs, put his thimble
+firmly on, and stitched briskly for five<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span>
+minutes; then his attention would
+wander, and presently, dropping
+work, thimble, shears, and needle,
+he began singing to himself,</p>
+
+<div class='poem'>
+"Oh, if I were only possessed of my riches,<br />
+I never would sew on a pair of old breeches!<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Thimbles and thread!</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Buttons and braid!</span><br />
+Oh, who would be bound to this rascally trade?<br />
+<br />
+"If money I had, I'd be free from all care,<br />
+And what <i>master</i> must <i>make</i>, <i>I</i> should have but to <i>wear!</i><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Needles and pins!</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Shears and cloth ends!</span><br />
+When the work's ended then pleasure begins!"<br />
+</div>
+
+<p>"What's that you're singing about
+riches?" cried his master, sharply;
+"Riches, forsooth! you will die in the
+poor house, I can tell you, if you don't
+stitch more diligently! Come, sew
+away! sew away!" So saying, he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span>
+gave him a good thwack with his yard
+stick, to make him continue working.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 303px;">
+<img src="images/i004.jpg" width="303" height="300" alt="" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p>All the beatings in the world, however,
+could not thump out of Bartlemy
+Bowbell a belief that had got into his
+head that he should one day become
+rich and famous, through the agency
+of a wonderful jewel called the Gold
+Stone. As I said, people, in those
+days, were by no means so wise as
+they are at present, and so it fell out<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span>
+that the most learned philosophers of
+that olden time believed as firmly as
+did the tailor's apprentice in the existence
+of this Gold Stone, the peculiar
+property of which was, that if it came
+in contact with any common metal, it
+changed it, on that instant, into gold.
+Now, this story had come to the ears
+of Bartlemy Bowbell, and by one of
+those odd cranks that not overwise
+people sometimes take in their heads,
+he was perfectly persuaded that,
+sooner or later, he was fated to find
+the miraculous gem.</p>
+
+<p>Matters soon rose to such a pitch,
+as may easily be seen, that his master
+finally turned him out of doors, saying
+"that he ate more than he would ever
+earn."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figright" style="width: 176px;">
+<img src="images/i005.jpg" width="176" height="200" alt="with stick in hand" title="" />
+</div>
+<p>"Very well, master," quoth Bartlemy,
+"I don't regret your goose and
+cabbage!" and having said this, he
+ran away as hard as he could, dropping
+one of his slipshod shoes as he
+went along, with his master pursuing
+after, yard stick in hand, whom, however,
+he soon contrived to outstrip.</p>
+
+
+
+<p>As he had not earned a penny during
+the week, he was entirely without<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span>
+money, and nobody would lodge a
+shabby apprentice with only one shoe,
+for nothing. He wandered on until he
+was clear of London and in the open
+fields, begging of those he met on the
+road, but who always replied to his
+solicitation, "Why don't you go to
+work, you lazy 'prentice?" for they
+knew what he was, because he wore a
+'prentice's flat cap. Worst of all,
+night now came on, and Bartlemy was
+at last compelled to lie down beneath
+a tree, where he soon fell asleep. The
+moon rose high, and still Bartlemy
+snored, when, all of a sudden, he was
+roused by a smart blow on the shoulder
+from what he could have sworn
+was a yard stick.</p>
+
+<p>"Needles and pins!" cried Bartlemy,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span>
+sitting up in haste; "what's
+that?"</p>
+
+<p>"Bartlemy Bowbell," croaked a
+strange voice, "look at me."</p>
+
+<p>Bartlemy looked round, and to his
+extreme terror, saw standing beside
+him a being whom he could only suppose
+to be a goblin. He was not more
+than four feet high, with very bow
+legs, as though from a constant habit
+of tucking them up on a tailor's shop
+board; his clothes, fashioned from odd
+bits of velvet and cloth such as tailors
+call "cabbage," or, as we should say,
+the pieces of the customers' stuff left
+from their coats&mdash;were trimmed with
+thimbles for bell buttons; on his head
+was a tailor's cotton nightcap, with a
+long tassel, and hanging at his waist<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span>
+were an immense pair of shears, and a
+pincushion bristling with needles and
+pins. In one hand he carried the yard
+stick with which he had struck the
+luckless 'prentice, and in the other a
+tailor's goose, or flat iron.</p>
+
+<p>His face was expressive of the
+most jovial good humor, though it
+could not be called handsome, for his
+nose was flattened as though he were
+in the habit of trying his iron against
+the end; his hair seemed composed
+of long and short threads mingled together,
+and he had an abominable
+squint, as though he were always endeavoring
+to see how a coat set at the
+front and back, the collar and tail at
+the same time.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"Bartlemy," said the goblin again,
+"what's the matter with you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Matter, your worship?" gasped
+Bartlemy.</p>
+
+<p>"Come to the point," said the
+goblin, severely, accidentally swinging
+his pincushion against Bartlemy's legs
+at the same time, and pricking him
+most atrociously. "You are everlastingly
+growling and grumbling, instead
+of working at your trade like an honest
+tailor, and richly deserve to be
+thwacked with the yardstick every
+morning by way of breakfast; but
+never mind, I choose to help you; so
+say what you want, quick."</p>
+
+<p>"A-and who might your worship
+be?" asked Bartlemy, with a cold
+shudder; for he felt desperately afraid<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span>
+that he had got hold of Old Boguey
+or Old Nick&mdash;it was not much matter
+which.</p>
+
+<p>"That's none of your business,"
+said the being; "but if you must
+know, I am Snippinbitz, the patron of
+the tailors."</p>
+
+<p>"O lord, your worship, you don't
+say so!" stammered Bartlemy.</p>
+
+<p>"That's a fact!" returned the goblin.
+"Come, out with it; what can I
+do for you?"</p>
+
+<p>Bartlemy scratched his head and
+took off his cap, looked into it, found
+no words there, and put it on again;
+and finally, with a bow that nearly
+toppled him head over heels, and a
+kick up of his foot that sent his remaining<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span>
+slipper flying into the nearest
+mud-puddle, he managed to say:</p>
+
+<p>"Please, your worship, I want to
+find the Gold Stone."</p>
+
+<p>The goblin burst into a discordant
+laugh on hearing this; then, suddenly
+becoming serious, he said:</p>
+
+<p>"Well, that's a sensible request,
+Bartlemy, and a modest one, considering
+the circumstances. Never mind, I
+have taken a fancy to you; your wish
+shall be accomplished. See here."</p>
+
+<p>With these words Snippinbitz put
+his hand in his pocket, and pulled out
+a magnificent jewel, as it seemed to
+Bartlemy. It was of the most resplendent
+purple color imaginable, and
+sparkled all over with flecks of gold,
+which seemed to swim beneath the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span>
+surface. Nothing could look more
+gorgeously beautiful as the astonished
+tailor held it up in the moonlight;
+yes, there could be no doubt of it;
+the mysterious, the unattainable Gold
+Stone was really his!</p>
+
+<p>"Now, Bartlemy, attend to me,"
+continued the being. "The Gold Stone
+is yours, but under certain conditions,
+which must be faithfully complied
+with, or no gold! First, you must
+return to London to-morrow, seek out
+your old master, and ask him to employ
+you as a regular workman. You
+will find yourself able to sew as well
+as the best, through my assistance,
+and you must employ this power diligently
+on the work he gives you to
+do. I warn you, however, that you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span>
+must keep the secret of the Gold Stone
+from everybody; and, in order that
+you may do so, you must never take it
+out of your pouch until you are safe
+in your own chamber. Secondly, when
+you receive your wages, place the
+money directly in the pouch containing
+the Gold Stone, and do not look at
+it until you go to bed. Then you will
+find the copper turned into silver, and
+the silver into gold. But if you count
+the money first, it will never be any
+different. Thirdly, in a year's time
+from to-night, meet me at this spot, and
+tell me how you have prospered. Will
+you keep these conditions faithfully?"</p>
+
+<p>"Ye-y-es! your worship!" stammered
+the 'prentice.</p>
+
+<p>"Then, how are you, Mr. Gold<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span>
+Stone!" exclaimed the goblin, in advance
+of the age; and, with an outrageous
+wink, he treated Bartlemy to
+another whack with the yardstick,
+and vanished.</p>
+
+<p>The blow struck our tailor insensible;
+and when his eyes again unclosed
+it was broad daylight. For a
+moment he stared about him, wondering
+how he came to be there; then,
+remembering the extraordinary events
+of the previous night, he hastily felt
+in his pouch, and drew out the miraculous
+jewel. It flamed in the sunlight
+like a bright diamond eye, and Bartlemy
+almost fancied he caught it
+winking at him. This idea lasted but a
+moment, and having taken a long and
+delighted stare at the much-desired<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span>
+Gold Stone, he replaced it carefully in
+his pouch, and started straight for
+London. As he passed the newly-opened
+bakers' shops, he could not
+help wishing that he had a half-penny
+in the world, so that he might change
+it into a crown on the spot, and buy
+a basketful of hot rolls; but as the
+Gold Stone was not warranted to <i>make</i>
+money, he was forced to take it out
+in wishing. Fortunately one of the
+bakers, seeing him gaze hungrily at
+the hot bread, had the kindness to
+toss him a large roll; and, munching
+this, he arrived at his master's shop.</p>
+
+<p>After the way in which he had
+been turned out, he hadn't much hope
+of getting in again, but, afraid of disobeying
+the goblin's injunctions, he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span>
+entered with as much courage as he
+could muster, and found the other
+tailors stitching away as usual, while
+his master cut out a coat.</p>
+
+<p>Bartlemy took his cap humbly off,
+saying, "Please, master, if you will
+employ me as a workman now, I think
+I can please you. Do try me; I will
+be industrious; indeed, I will."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh," grumbled the master tailor,
+"sleeping out in the fields and going
+without supper and breakfast has
+done you good, has it? Well, take
+this coat and sit you down; but I
+warn you, beforehand, that if you are
+not more industrious than usual, I will
+lay my yardstick over your shoulder,
+and clear you out again."</p>
+
+<p>Bartlemy took the work, and having<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span>
+planted himself on the shop-board<a name="FNanchor_A_1" id="FNanchor_A_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_1" class="fnanchor">[A]</a>
+in his favorite place, near a window,
+he put on his thimble, threaded his
+needle with a grand flourish, and began
+to stitch away for dear life. He
+sewed faster and better than he had
+ever done before, and found, to his
+joy, that the goblin's promises had
+begun to be fulfilled in reality. But
+bad habits are not to be conquered as
+one would pull up weeds: though both
+must be torn up by the roots, one
+might weed three gardens in the time
+it takes to destroy one fault; and so,
+without really meaning it, Bartlemy
+at last began to ply his needle less
+briskly; his thoughts wandered; he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span>
+took a stitch that was three times too
+long, then another in a wrong place, a
+third and fourth all askew, and finally
+the work came to a dead stand-still.
+But, thimbles and thread! what happened?
+The instant his hand stopped,
+a long yellow yardstick came flying
+through the window, with no one
+holding it, hit him such a thwack on
+the shins that he roared again with the
+pain, and instantly vanished.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, what's the matter?" asked
+the other tailors, startled, as they well
+might be.</p>
+
+<p>"Matter!" cried Bartlemy. "Why,
+didn't you see that&mdash;that horrible
+yardstick coming at me?"</p>
+
+<p>At this they all laughed at him for
+a fool; for nobody but our tailor<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span>
+could perceive this terrific weapon,
+which was doubtless invisible to common
+eyes. His conscience whispered,
+however, that his punishment was a
+reminder from the friendly goblin, and
+accordingly he set to work with renewed
+diligence. After a while, lost
+in dreams of his approaching wealth,
+he stopped stitching again, when, like
+a flash, in came the yardstick, touched
+him up with a vengeance, and vanished
+as before; and so it continued all
+the time he was sewing: the watchful
+yardstick would only allow him to
+stop to thread his needle or turn the
+work.</p>
+
+<p>When he had stitched all the
+seams, he laid the coat on the table
+and heated his goose, that he might<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span>
+smooth them. He took care to post
+himself a good way from the window,
+in order to get rid of the ferocious
+yardstick; but the goblin was not to
+be baffled thus. The moment he
+stopped ironing and began to count
+the flies on the ceiling, the goose
+seemed to carry his hand up with it&mdash;<ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'irrisistibly'">irresistibly</ins>&mdash;to
+the end of his nose, and
+gave it a good scorching! This was
+no joke, I can tell you, and in a very
+short time Bartlemy began so to dread
+the visits of his two enemies that he
+never left working a minute, and his
+needle dashed along like magic. By
+sunset the coat was done, and sewed
+in a manner vastly superior to the
+other tailors, who looked at him with
+envious eyes. "What! finish a whole<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span>
+coat in one day?" they cried; "we
+never could do so well! Goose and
+cabbage! friend Bartlemy! you must
+have the assistance of some fairy!"</p>
+
+<p>Bartlemy made no answer, but
+taking the coat in hand, carried it
+to his master, who viewed it in the
+greatest astonishment. Never before
+had a coat been made in a single day,
+and stitched, too, more finely than
+anything he had ever seen; but, not
+wishing to raise his late 'prentice's
+ideas of himself, he merely grumbled
+out, "For a wonder you have done
+your work this time; so now take
+your wages, and be sure to come early
+Monday morn."</p>
+
+<p>As he spoke, he slipped a couple
+of coins into Bartlemy's hand, who,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</a></span>
+remembering the goblin's words, put
+them into his pouch without so much
+as looking at them.</p>
+
+<p>Now, no doubt my clever little
+readers have guessed quite readily the
+true solution of this mighty mystery;
+but to the simple Bartlemy the reality
+of the Gold Stone's magic power
+was placed beyond a doubt when, on
+reaching his chamber and striking a
+light, he found, instead of the farthing
+and penny which had always been
+his weekly payment, a crown and sixpence.</p>
+
+<p>"Huzzah! huzzah!" he cried, fairly
+jumping for joy; "my beautiful
+Gold Stone is doing its work bravely."
+He kissed the stone in his delight, and
+went to bed, to dream of becoming a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</a></span>
+master tailor, and making clothes for
+the king.</p>
+
+<p>The following Monday he repaired
+to his master's shop the first of any
+one, and everything happened as on
+the former time; except that, being
+more diligent at his work, the goose
+and the yardstick were less frequent
+in their favors, and he now made a
+coat and a vest in the day. His master
+really knew not what to think; but at
+least so good a workman was not to
+be lost; so he kept his surprise and
+suspicions to himself, and made up by
+heaping more and more sewing on the
+luckless Bartlemy.</p>
+
+<p>It didn't make any difference,
+however; his needle almost seemed to
+work by itself, and the sewing was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span>
+finished by sunset; so that, really, the
+good-natured goblin was the original
+sewing machine, and no thanks to
+Messrs. Grover and Baker. At the end
+of the week his master paid him a
+crown and a shilling; or, as Bartlemy
+believed, a farthing and a penny; the
+next week a guinea, and the week after
+a guinea and a crown, which was
+the highest wages ever paid.</p>
+
+<p>So things went on, until Bartlemy
+had earned enough to make quite a
+fortune in his eyes; ten whole guineas
+lay glittering in the old night cap
+where he kept his savings, and the
+tailor thought he might now set up
+for a gentleman. So he bought cloth,
+made himself, in secret, a fine cloak,
+coat, and breeches, and in these jackdaw<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span>
+adornments paraded about the
+streets a whole morning, trying to appear
+an idle fine gentleman. At last
+he strutted into the best inn, ordered
+a grand dinner and a bottle of wine,
+and feasted like a lord.</p>
+
+<p>But his time was coming. The
+watchful goblin, though not at his
+side, knew perfectly well what he was
+about, and soon led him to betray his
+quality most fatally. When the bill
+was brought him, it was so long and
+so tremendous that Bartlemy sprang
+up in a rage, crying out:</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Thimbles and thread!</i> Do you
+call this a decent charge for your paltry
+dinner?"</p>
+
+<p>The landlord stared at him in astonishment;
+then, suddenly bursting into<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span>
+a loud laugh, he cried, "Why, gentles
+all, this fine nobleman is nothing but
+a tailor! ha! ha!" and he put his
+hands to his fat sides and shook with
+laughter.</p>
+
+<p>"Be silent, sirrah!" thundered
+Bartlemy; "or <i>I'll break my yardstick
+over your shoulders!</i>"</p>
+
+<p>"Ha! ha! only hear what he
+says!" laughed the landlord. "A
+miserable tailor."</p>
+
+<p>"If you do not stop your impertinence,
+I will <i>shear off your ears like
+cloth clippings!</i>" retorted the angry
+tailor. "Goose and cabbage! man;
+you shall not trifle with me!"</p>
+
+<p>On this the landlord and waiters
+turned him bodily out of the house,
+after seizing upon all his remaining<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</a></span>
+money; and the moment he was in
+the street, the knowledge of how he
+had betrayed himself broke upon his
+mind. Mortified and miserable, he hurried
+home, determined, after this, to
+stick to his trade and play fine gentleman
+no more.</p>
+
+<p>The year at last drew to a close,
+and Bartlemy had now earned enough
+to set up for a master tailor; when, one
+bright moonlight night, he suddenly
+remembered that it was the very anniversary
+of his meeting with the goblin.
+Starting up, he ran to where his
+pouch was placed, took out the Gold
+Stone and enjoyed a long look at it,
+and then, throwing his cloak around
+him, he hastened forth. The moonlight
+beamed brightly on the path he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span>
+was taking, and seemed to throw all
+sorts of queer shadows before him;
+now it was an immense yardstick,
+now a thimble supported on two needles
+like a pair of spindle legs, then a
+goose with a pair of shears astride on
+the handle.</p>
+
+<p>At last, as he paused under the old
+tree, he heard a familiar croaking
+laugh, and found himself unexpectedly
+in the presence of Snippinbitz, the
+friendly goblin.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Bartlemy," croaked the
+being; "and how have you prospered
+with the Gold Stone?"</p>
+
+<p>"Marvellously well, your worship!"
+replied Bartlemy, in a joyous
+tone.</p>
+
+<p>"And you found a crown and a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span>
+shilling, and a guinea and a crown,
+instead of your penny and farthing;
+did you, Bartlemy?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why, yes, your worship, I did,
+certainly."</p>
+
+<p>"And the Gold Stone changed
+them, did it, Bartlemy?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why, yes, your worship; of
+course it did."</p>
+
+<p>"Now, Bartlemy," said the goblin,
+in a confidential tone, laying his hand
+on the other's shoulder, "I want to
+tell you something. It isn't the Gold
+Stone!"</p>
+
+<p>"It's&mdash;not&mdash;the&mdash;Gold&mdash;Stone!!"
+gasped Bartlemy.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, no, you donkey! there's no
+such thing!"</p>
+
+<p>Bartlemy turned fairly green and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span>
+yellow with horror and disappointment.</p>
+
+<p>"Listen to me, Bartlemy Bowbell,"
+said the goblin; "nobody but a donkey
+would suppose that a round bit
+of purple glass&mdash;&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Of purple glass!" repeated Bartlemy,
+in a sort of dream.</p>
+
+<p>"Don't interrupt, Bartlemy&mdash;that
+a bit of purple glass could change copper
+into gold. Your master paid you
+the wages your work was worth, that
+is all. There is no such preposterous
+jewel on the face of the earth as you
+imagine; but there <i>is</i> a true Gold
+Stone, and its name is</p>
+
+<div class='center'>
+'<span class="smcap">Faithful Industry!</span>'"<br />
+</div>
+
+<p>As the goblin spoke these words,
+he suddenly began to change his form,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span>
+and grew taller and broader. His bell-button
+thimbles fell off, his flat nose
+became long and sharp, his thread
+hair gave place to a bald pate, and
+his whole appearance became wonderfully
+like Bartlemy's master. He
+raised his yardstick, brought it down
+with a tremendous crack&mdash;and&mdash;Bartlemy
+<span class="smcap">woke</span>!</p>
+
+<p>Yes! he was lying under the tree
+where he had thrown himself down
+the night before. The whole of what
+had passed, Gold Stone, money, goblin,
+and all, was but the fantastic tracery
+of a dream; and above him really
+stood his master, who had repented
+of having turned away his luckless
+'prentice, and had come to seek him.</p>
+
+<p>The lesson was not lost, however,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span>
+on our hero. He returned to his master's
+shop, where he worked diligently,
+without any yardstick coming after
+him; and in three years' time rose to
+be a master tailor, married his old
+master's daughter, cut the coats of the
+king himself, and took for his arms a
+Gold Stone, supported by two shears,
+and the motto:</p>
+
+<div class='center'>
+<span class="smcap">Faithful Industry</span>.<br /><br /></div>
+
+<div class="footnotes"><h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_A_1" id="Footnote_A_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_1"><span class="label">[A]</span></a> A shop-board is a kind of table on which tailors
+sit when at work.</p></div>
+</div>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>THE PHILOSOPHERS' TOUR.</h2>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">There</span> were once five learned men,
+who had been shut up all their lives in
+their studies, poking their noses into
+saucepans full of cookeries, which did
+not resemble savory soups or well-flavored
+ragouts, wearing their eyes out
+with reading books printed in the
+crabbedest black letter possible, and
+shrivelling up their brains with thinking,
+until they quite rattled inside
+their skulls, all in pursuit of out-o'-the-way knowledge.</p>
+
+<p>There was really nothing scientific<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</a></span>
+with which they were not acquainted;
+while, in the mean time, one or two
+little things, perfectly familiar to people
+who use their eyes for the purpose
+of noticing the common occurrences
+and habits of every-day existence, and
+exercise their understanding in everything
+that can make life comfortable
+and agreeable, had entirely escaped the
+observation of our philosophers.</p>
+
+<p>As the emperor allowed them each
+a handsome pension to advance the
+interests of science, they went on with
+their discoveries rejoicing, and for a
+long time had never stirred from their
+apartments in one of His Majesty's
+country palaces. They scarcely left
+off thinking, when they were asleep;
+never had the least idea what they<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</a></span>
+were eating for dinner, or even what
+the materials of that dinner looked
+like; and, in short, were sublimely unconscious
+of any of the ordinary affairs
+or interests of life; and thought only
+of sciences, and high-flown theories of
+Health, of Natural Philosophy, Chemistry,
+Botany, and goodness knows
+what beside. The fifth and last of the
+learned men was supposed to consider
+silence as an art or science, since he
+hardly ever said anything; and for
+that reason was thought to be wiser
+than the other four put together.</p>
+
+<p>At last, one fine morning, one of
+our learned men chanced to poke his
+head out of the window, to see what
+on earth had become of one of his
+glass retorts, which he had filled with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</a></span>
+gas until it went off like a rocket; and
+could not help being struck with the
+blue sky, the fresh green herbage,
+and the thousands of beautiful wild
+flowers that sprinkled the grass. It
+was a charming summer day; the birds
+had not yet left off singing, and the
+fresh breeze, fanning the bald forehead
+of the philosopher, appeared
+wonderfully pleasant.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, bless me!" cried the philosopher,
+whose name was Dr. Skihi;
+"while I have been trying to reduce
+chemistry to the uses of a penny post,
+I never thought of remarking whether
+it was a pleasant day or not. How
+bright and beautiful everything looks!
+Out-of-doors is a very good sort of
+thing, after all. I declare, I've a great<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</a></span>
+mind&mdash;pooh! nonsense; science&mdash;glorious
+science, is a great deal more to
+be regarded than a fine day in the
+country."</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 355px;">
+<img src="images/i006.jpg" width="355" height="500" alt="DR. MUMBUDGET LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW." title="" />
+<span class="caption">DR. MUMBUDGET LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW.</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>So saying, he drew his head in
+again, and turned to his books and
+saucepans; for, you see, he was trying
+to condense gas, and make it dart
+through the air like a skyrocket, carrying
+a letter, or a telegraphic message,
+or even a traveller with it, if it
+was made strong enough; but, so far,
+he had only succeeded in breaking his
+retorts, and blowing himself up till his
+head came bump against the ceiling,
+and knocked off little bits of plaster.
+Everything in the study looked remarkably
+dingy after the freshness of
+the fields, and the doctor could not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</a></span>
+refrain from taking another peep.
+This time, the contrast appeared even
+greater than before, while directly underneath
+his window there now stood
+two pretty little girls, one holding a
+great bunch of roses and other blooming
+flowers, and both intent on a long
+leaf of manuscript, which they were
+puzzling and laughing over, calling it
+"such a silly thing!" Our doctor, to
+his great dudgeon, recognized it as
+part of a learned treatise, his own
+production, which had accidentally
+blown out of the window; but, as to be
+known as the writer of silly things is
+not specially dignified, he preferred
+saying nothing about the matter.</p>
+
+<p>"I have a great mind," he said
+again; "yes, I'll go and ask Dr.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</a></span>
+Sheepshanks if he does not think it
+would be a good plan for us to take a
+short trip into the country. No doubt
+we should make some very important
+discoveries."</p>
+
+<p>Excusing the idea to himself in this
+way, Dr. Skihi toddled up one pair of
+stairs and down two pair of stairs, and
+straight along a crooked corridor, and
+all round a square hall, until he arrived
+at the apartments of Dr. Sheepshanks.
+He knocked at the door, and peeped
+through the keyhole until he was told
+to come in, when he opened the door
+softly, and shut it with an astonished
+bang, that made all the spiders, who
+were dancing hornpipes in all the corners
+(for the learned men would have
+died rather than have their sacred<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</a></span>
+studies disturbed by a house-cleaning)
+stand on one leg for several minutes
+with surprise, as a noise in the philosophers'
+palace was a thing rather
+more seldom met with than a crononhotonthologos.</p>
+
+<p>The sight that caused Dr. Skihi to
+commit such a breach of good manners
+was Dr. Sheepshanks in the very
+middle of a summersault! with his
+flowered dressing gown about his ears
+and his spindle shanks and black
+stockings in the air, looking not unlike
+a two-legged radish growing upside
+down.</p>
+
+<p>To him rushed Dr. Skihi, who,
+catching his friend by the tails of his
+dressing gown, had him right side up
+in a hurry, exclaiming, "Crucibles and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</a></span>
+gasbags! my good sir, have you gone
+crazy?"</p>
+
+<p>"No, indeed," returned Dr. Sheepshanks,
+with a gleeful laugh. "I have
+made a discovery, sir&mdash;a great discovery.
+I happened to look out of the
+window, a moment ago, and I saw a
+couple of little chaps racing up and
+down, and playing at that topsy-turvy
+game you saw me trying just now.
+Their cheeks were so fat, and their
+frames so sturdy, that I feel convinced
+such exercises are the best promoters
+of health in the world; and as I am
+getting rather broken down myself,
+while I am finding out what is the
+best way for other people to keep
+healthy, I thought I would try the
+experiment. It does make the blood<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</a></span>
+rush to the head somewhat, I must
+confess; but it's a glorious thing, you
+may depend! I feel twenty years
+younger and better already, I assure
+you!"</p>
+
+<p>All this time Dr. Sheepshanks was
+puffing and panting, with a very red
+face and astonished air; but the new
+theory had taken possession of him,
+and he would have died at the stake
+rather than allow that turning summersaults
+was not the exercise best
+adapted to old gentlemen of sixty.</p>
+
+<p>Finding his friend so prepossessed
+in favor of exercise, Dr. Skihi proposed
+to him that they should go and
+take a walk, to which he readily
+agreed. Then they went to Dr. Smelfungus,
+the great botanist, who was at<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</a></span>
+present trying to graft japonicas on
+bramble bushes: "It would improve
+the appearance of the roadside so
+much!" and Dr. Van Noostile, who
+was writing a splendid work, in twenty-five
+volumes, to prove that people's
+feeling hot and cold was perfect fancy
+and nonsense; and also giving a number
+of scientific ways of finding out
+whether it would rain or be clear,
+and what time o' day it was, without
+looking to see if the wind were east,
+or running to stare at a clock; which,
+no doubt, would be of the greatest use
+to the world, and leave all the weathercocks
+and watchmakers quite in the
+shade. Last of all, they came to Dr.
+Mumbudget, who had on his study
+door the great doorplate you see in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</a></span>
+the picture, with his name engraved
+on it in letters six inches long. As
+usual, he said not a word in reply
+to the invitation of his friends, but
+nodded his head at them instead, until
+he nearly nodded it off; and so, being
+all of one mind, our philosophers
+locked up their studies, put on their
+five-cornered caps, and taking their
+gold-headed canes and their note
+books, to be ready to put down any
+new fact that might turn up, started
+off for a country ramble.</p>
+
+<p>At first they walked along quietly
+enough, admiring the prospect, and
+enjoying the fresh air; but after a few
+moments, Dr. Sheepshanks could no
+longer resist the desire to put his new
+theory of health into practice.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"Really," he began, "it would be
+much better for us always to pursue
+our studies in the open air. Science
+teaches us that the most healthy people
+are the wild Indians&mdash;those children
+of nature, who live under the
+trees, dine off fresh fruits, and take
+plenty of exercise. Let us be children
+of nature, my friends, and improve
+our health by running to that tree,"
+pointing to one at some distance.</p>
+
+<p>Accordingly, the philosopher started
+off at an amble, followed by his
+companions, who, with dressing gowns
+flying in the wind, and books flying,
+out of their pockets every minute,
+presented rather ridiculous spectacles.
+They were so deeply engaged that
+they did not see Dr. Mumbudget<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</a></span>
+quietly walking along behind, picking
+up their scattered property.</p>
+
+<p>So far so good; but unhappily,
+not being accustomed to the habits of
+children of nature, this sudden introduction
+to the true mode of life discomposed
+our learned doctors in no
+small degree. Fairly aching from
+head to foot with fatigue, Dr. Sheepshanks
+was the first to pause, so out of
+breath that he could hardly speak, yet
+exclaiming, with a beaming face, "Ah!
+you may depend, gentlemen, that the
+only way to enjoy life is to take plenty
+of exercise!"</p>
+
+<p>This was drawing rather too hard
+on the patience of his friends, after
+what they had just endured, and Dr.
+Skihi exclaimed, rather crossly, "At<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</a></span>
+the same time, your exercise is a famous
+thing to make one thirsty! I
+would give a great deal to obtain a
+drink of spring water; but that is impossible
+at present."</p>
+
+<p>"Impossible! why, there is nothing
+easier!" said Dr. Smelfungus. "Science
+teaches us that some vegetables
+are nearly all water; turnips, for instance.
+All you have to do is to get
+a turnip and express the juice, and
+there's your drink of water."</p>
+
+<p>"How about going to a well?"
+said Mumbudget; but nobody appeared
+to hear him.</p>
+
+<p>"And pray, are there any turnips
+hereabout?" asked the chemist, impatiently.</p>
+
+<p>Now, the fact was that Dr. Smelfungus<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</a></span>
+had never seen a turnip; he
+had only read in books that turnips
+were round, watery vegetables, yellow
+outside and full of juice; for he was
+so interested in finding out all about
+flowers and plants that came from
+Australia, and other out of the way
+places, that he never troubled his head
+with common, homemade turnips&mdash;those
+were too vulgar; but as he
+wished to appear informed on all subjects,
+he pointed hap-hazard to a field
+beside the road saying, carelessly,
+"Certainly; there are some."</p>
+
+<p>Now, what do you think Dr. Smelfungus
+had really pointed out? Why,
+a musk-melon patch! and as his companions
+knew no more than himself,
+Dr. Skihi scrambled through the hedge<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</a></span>
+without more ado, cut with his penknife
+as many as he could carry, and
+returned to his friends. You may believe
+how they enjoyed the feast, sitting
+on the soft moss, in the cool shade
+of the trees; and after they were
+through, Dr. Smelfungus gravely
+wrote down, "Turnip&mdash;a large, round
+vegetable growing on vines, with a
+rough, yellow outside, ever so many
+seeds in the middle, and tastes of nutmegs!"</p>
+
+<p>After these exploits, the philosophers
+continued on their way, and Drs.
+Smelfungus and Sheepshanks felt more
+proud of their learning than ever.
+Meanwhile Dr. Mumbudget said nothing;
+so they gave him credit either for
+thinking a great deal, or being too big<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</a></span>
+a donkey to admire such splendid experiments.</p>
+
+<p>The sun had now mounted high,
+and our travellers began to feel its
+rays inconveniently warm. Dr. Van
+Noostile, however, laughed them all to
+scorn.</p>
+
+<p>"Too warm! fiddlestick's end!" he
+cried. "This feeling warm and cold
+is all humbug. Dr. Skihi can tell you
+that I went to the top of the house
+with him every night for a week, last
+winter, to look at a comet, in nothing
+but a night gown and an umbrella,
+and I never was better in my life!
+Other people might have felt cold, or
+caught cold; but I&mdash;I enjoyed the science
+of the thing! If you feel too
+warm, follow my plan; make up your<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</a></span>
+minds you <i>won't</i> feel so, and the thing's
+done!" and Dr. Van Noostile marched
+proudly along in the hottest part of
+the road, with his nose in the air,
+though the sun blistered the end most
+abominably! while the others, not to
+be behindhand in wisdom, followed his
+example; all but Mumbudget, who
+kept in the shade of the trees growing
+beside the road, and was secretly
+voted a greater donkey than ever.</p>
+
+<p>Fortunately for the rest, who might
+otherwise have been sunstruck, a
+friendly cloud bank, which had been
+for some time gathering in the east,
+now began to cover the sky completely;
+and Dr. Mumbudget, speaking for
+the second time, just said, "Rain coming;
+better hurry on," and then relapsed
+into silence.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"Rain! no such thing!" cried Dr.
+Van Noostile. "When it is about to
+rain, you will observe <i>that the swallows
+fly low!</i> and as I don't see a
+sign of a swallow, you may depend
+that&mdash;&mdash;" His speech was interrupted
+by a thunderclap, and then down
+poured the flood! in one of those sudden,
+heavy showers that so often take
+place in summer, wetting the whole
+party to the skin in less than two minutes.
+It was of no use to run, and as
+they plodded along in the wet, our
+philosophers looked at Dr. Van Noostile
+with faces in which anger and dismay
+were equally mingled.</p>
+
+<p>"Is this your knowledge of weather?"
+exclaimed Dr. Skihi, in a pet.</p>
+
+<p>"Science teaches us that even a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</a></span>
+child of nature should go in when it
+rains!" snapped Dr. Sheepshanks.</p>
+
+<p>"And though water is undoubtedly
+necessary for internal refreshment; external
+application, in the form of a
+hard shower, is only suitable to plants!"
+snarled Dr. Smelfungus.</p>
+
+<p>In short, they all set upon the luckless
+weather prophet, except Dr. Mumbudget,
+who, when they had all scolded
+themselves out of breath, quietly
+pointed out a farm house they were
+now approaching, and led the way
+thither himself.</p>
+
+<p>There was no need for words.
+Gladly did the wretched philosophers
+hasten to its shelter, and avail themselves
+of the bright kitchen fire to dry
+their flowered dressing gowns, and wet<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</a></span>
+stockings and shoes. While they were
+drying, and steaming like the safety
+valve of a high-pressure steamboat,
+the good woman of the house, not
+without some doubts of their sanity,
+set about preparing a savory meal. In
+a short time this was ready, and the
+others were just sitting down to a dish
+of nice broiled ham and some light
+wheaten biscuits, when Dr. Sheepshanks
+exclaimed, with an air of
+amazement, "Is it possible, my friends,
+that you are willing to violate the
+natural laws of health by eating dishes
+at which a child of nature would be
+horrified! Not for me be so degenerate
+a meal! <i>I</i> shall lunch on fare such
+as a wild Indian best loves!" So saying,
+he tucked up his sleeves, called<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</a></span>
+for some unground corn, and having
+pounded it in a mortar until it was in
+coarse bits, he mixed with it a little
+water, and baked this horrible mess
+before the fire, in the hot ashes. Then
+he asked for a slice of bacon, as venison
+was not at hand, frizzled the out
+side slightly by holding it up on a cleft
+stick before the fire, burning his ten
+fingers several times in the process,
+and bearing it with heroic fortitude.
+Finally, he served up these atrocious
+specimens of cookery on pieces of
+board instead of dishes, as the proper
+diet for children of nature&mdash;and philosophers!</p>
+
+<p>As he could not induce the other
+<i>savants</i> to prefer the luncheon of wild
+Indians to that of civilized Christians,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</a></span>
+Dr. Sheepshanks ate it all up himself,
+though, in fact, his rebellious palate
+steadily refused to relish the dainties prepared
+for it. Science must be made to
+triumph, however, and the little doctor
+gallantly charged these "What is It's"
+of cookery and finished the last morsel
+under furious protest of stomach.</p>
+
+<p>Somewhat comforted by the meal,
+and seeing that the clouds had given
+place to a clear sky, the philosophers
+resumed their dressing gowns, woefully
+shrunken by the wetting and drying
+they had received, and having liberally
+paid their hostess, started on the
+homeward road; concluding that they
+had seen enough for one day. They
+were in the very poorest condition for
+a long walk, for their theories, so far<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[132]</a></span>
+from making them any happier, had
+produced only ill effects. Dr. Sheepshanks'
+healthful exercise had given
+them all stitches in the sides, and aches
+in the back; Dr. Smelfungus's knowledge
+of botany had betrayed them
+into such excesses of melon alias turnip
+eating, that various queer doublings
+up in the epigastric region began
+to make themselves apparent; the
+natural philosophy, which had led Dr.
+Van Noostile and his good friends to
+parade along the middle of the road
+in the sun, had given them furious
+headaches; and, to crown all, Dr. Skihi
+now made the most brilliant proposal
+of anybody.</p>
+
+<p>Our good doctor was evidently
+brimming, one might say creaming,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[133]</a></span>
+over with the milk of human kindness;
+beyond a possible doubt he was about
+to propound a discovery of benefit to
+the whole world. His bald head
+beamed benevolence, overflowing beneficence
+to all mankind radiated from
+the very tails of his dressing gown as
+he cried:</p>
+
+<p>"My dear friends, you are all too
+tired to walk home now, ain't you?
+You would like to get there before
+you could say 'Jack Robinson'&mdash;now,
+wouldn't you? and if I were to accomplish
+that happy end, you could never
+be grateful enough&mdash;now, could you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Certainly not!" exclaimed the
+advocate of exercise, who wished from
+his inmost soul, either that he had
+taken less turnip, or that the famous<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[134]</a></span>
+seven league boots were on his legs at
+that moment.</p>
+
+<p>"Then all you have to do," cried
+Dr. Skihi with sparkling eyes, "is to get
+in a convenient posture; allow me to
+set off this retort of mine behind
+you&mdash;" here he produced a "glass
+concern" from a side pocket, to the
+horror of his friends&mdash;"and heigh,
+presto! you will find yourself flying
+home like a skyrocket"&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"And coming down like the
+stick!" gasped Dr. Smelfungus, retiring
+in a hurry, for the tails of his
+dressing gown and the gas retort of
+Dr. Skihi were in inconvenient proximity.</p>
+
+<p>Dr. Skihi vouchsafed not another
+word, but with an air of indescribable<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[135]</a></span>
+dignity adjusted the retort, took out
+a cork&mdash;and&mdash;but words fail me to
+describe the catastrophe! Before Dr.
+Mumbudget could rush forward to
+prevent it, the gas had come in contact
+with the air, become inflamed instantly,
+and sent Dr. Skihi whirling
+above the heads of his friends!</p>
+
+<p>Vesuvius in eruption, coal mines on
+fire, mad bulls in the full rush, and
+crackers exploding in a barrel, rushed
+wildly through the heads of our philosophers,
+and when, finally, the rocket-riding
+doctor was discharged on a
+hayrick, the only person who retained
+sufficient presence of mind to go and
+pick him up was Mumbudget.</p>
+
+<p>Poor Dr. Skihi! The victim to science
+remained insensible for some<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[136]</a></span>
+time; and when he finally recovered
+his consciousness, could not at first be
+persuaded that he was not in innumerable
+pieces. When he was, at last,
+enabled to walk on, it was discovered
+that while they were experimenting
+they had lost their way, and might be
+close to home or in the middle of
+Kamtschatka for all they knew of the
+road. It was again Mumbudget who
+helped them out of this difficulty, by
+speaking for the third time that day;
+and this third remark of the sage was
+as much to the point as the two first.
+"Ask somebody!" propounded Mumbudget,
+and after hobbling miserably
+along for some time, this somebody
+turned up in the person of a very
+small, ragged, dirty urchin; and under<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[137]</a></span>
+the guidance of this contemptible
+little snipe did our prodigies of wisdom
+arrive at last at the abode of
+Science and Knowledge!</p>
+
+<p>As they entered the hall, Dr. Smelfungus,
+with an admiring glance at the
+speechless Mumbudget, exclaimed,
+"After all, gentlemen, there must be
+a science far higher than ours, since
+we, with all our knowledge, find practical
+life a matter of such difficulty.
+Only one man, it appears, is master of
+it, and there he stands!" and he made
+a low bow to Mumbudget, who returned
+it by another, without a word
+of reply.</p>
+
+<p>Dr. Skihi, at this, glanced with
+profound contempt at Smelfungus, and
+gave a "hum!" that was echoed by<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[138]</a></span>
+the professor of health and him of
+natural science; then raising himself
+on the tips of his toes, and seesawing
+up and down at every word, he inquired,
+superciliously, "And pray, sir,
+may I ask, in the name of my scientific
+friends, what branch of science
+you profess, which is superior to every
+other?"</p>
+
+<p>Mumbudget looked with a quiet
+smile at the excited little doctor, and
+replied, calmly:</p>
+
+<p>"Gentlemen, I am the professor of
+<span class="smcap">Common Sense</span>."</p>
+
+<p>At this reply, the learned friends,
+Smelfungus not excepted, presented
+a series of remarkably open countenances,
+as respected eyes and mouths,
+while Dr. Mumbudget went on:<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[139]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"Chemistry, Botany, Natural Philosophy,
+and Hygienics&mdash;all put together,
+gentlemen, have failed to ensure us
+one day of rational enjoyment or ease;
+for all these sciences are pure absurdities,
+unless they are put in the hands
+of men who are governed by the
+wholesome dictates of common sense.
+My wise philosophers, will you come
+to school to me?"</p>
+
+<p>The doctors gazed a moment yet;
+first at the proposer of this new doctrine,
+then at each other; and then,
+all rushing forward at once, they seized
+his hands.</p>
+
+<p>"You are right, my dear Mumbudget!"
+they exclaimed in a breath;
+"with all our science we are most
+greatly in want of common sense!<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[140]</a></span>
+Open your school at once; we will be
+the first to join its classes, and celebrate
+the triumph of Reason over
+Philosophy!"</p>
+
+
+<div class='center'><br /><br />
+THE END OF THE FIFTH BOOK.<br />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<div class='tnote'><h3>Transcriber's Notes:</h3>
+<p>Obvious punctuation errors repaired.</p>
+<p>The remaining correction made is indicated by a dotted line under the correction. Scroll the mouse over the word and the original text will <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'apprear'">appear</ins>.</p></div>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Funny Big Socks, by Sarah L. Barrow
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FUNNY BIG SOCKS ***
+
+***** This file should be named 29596-h.htm or 29596-h.zip *****
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+        http://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/5/9/29596/
+
+Produced by David Edwards, Emmy and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+http://gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
+http://pglaf.org/fundraising.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at http://pglaf.org
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit http://pglaf.org
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+     http://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
+
+
+</pre>
+
+</body>
+</html>
diff --git a/29596-h/images/i001.jpg b/29596-h/images/i001.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b06df57
--- /dev/null
+++ b/29596-h/images/i001.jpg
diff --git a/29596-h/images/i002.jpg b/29596-h/images/i002.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..26df8fa
--- /dev/null
+++ b/29596-h/images/i002.jpg
diff --git a/29596-h/images/i003.jpg b/29596-h/images/i003.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..73e2527
--- /dev/null
+++ b/29596-h/images/i003.jpg
diff --git a/29596-h/images/i004.jpg b/29596-h/images/i004.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f7f668f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/29596-h/images/i004.jpg
diff --git a/29596-h/images/i005.jpg b/29596-h/images/i005.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..64f0e53
--- /dev/null
+++ b/29596-h/images/i005.jpg
diff --git a/29596-h/images/i006.jpg b/29596-h/images/i006.jpg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..df6dd0b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/29596-h/images/i006.jpg
diff --git a/29596.txt b/29596.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..3418c15
--- /dev/null
+++ b/29596.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,2146 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Funny Big Socks, by Sarah L. Barrow
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Funny Big Socks
+       Being the Fifth Book of the Series
+
+Author: Sarah L. Barrow
+
+Release Date: August 3, 2009 [EBook #29596]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FUNNY BIG SOCKS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Edwards, Emmy and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: DR. MUMBUDGET'S DOOR-PLATE.]
+
+
+
+
+THE SOCK STORIES,
+
+BY "AUNT FANNY'S" DAUGHTER.
+
+FUNNY BIG SOCKS:
+
+BEING
+
+THE FIFTH BOOK OF THE SERIES.
+
+BY
+
+"AUNT FANNY'S" DAUGHTER,
+
+THE AUTHOR OF "THE LITTLE WHITE ANGEL."
+
+          NEW YORK:
+          LEAVITT & ALLEN, 21 & 23 MERCER ST.
+          1863.
+
+
+
+
+   ENTERED, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1862, by
+
+   S. L. BARROW,
+
+   In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States
+      for the
+   Southern District of New York.
+
+   JOHN F. TROW,
+   PRINTER, STEREOTYPER, AND ELECTROTYPER,
+   50 Greene Street, New York.
+
+
+
+
+                   TO
+
+           THAT GENIAL GOOD MAN
+
+          AND PROFOUND PHILOSOPHER,
+
+          THE REV. DR. S. I. PRIME,
+
+             I DEDICATE THIS
+
+                  BOOK.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS OF VOL. V.
+
+
+                                        PAGE
+
+          STORM STORIES                    7
+
+          THE CABBAGES                    42
+
+          THE GOLD STONE                  75
+
+          THE PHILOSOPHERS' TOUR         108
+
+
+
+
+STORM STORIES.
+
+
+FIRST EVENING.
+
+HOW it did rain, to be sure! Up the long street, and down the long
+street nothing was to be seen but large mud puddles, while the gutter
+ran like a little river, and gushed with a loud sound into the sewer
+mouth.
+
+That was a rain indeed! but in the warm rooms it was comfortable enough.
+Books and pretty pictures lined the walls on all sides but one, where
+the large window was, the recess filled with blooming flowers; they
+smelt so sweetly!
+
+There, at a table that was covered with a green cloth, sat a literary
+man. His head was bowed upon his arms; and when he raised his face, one
+saw that he was so sad and pale! The poor literary man was quite
+unhappy.
+
+If one could have crept into his heart (like him who owned the "Galoshes
+of Fortune"), one would have seen that his thoughts ran, "Ah me! how
+unhappy I am. I write books about the good and the beautiful, but nobody
+buys them; no one cares to read of such things. If I could but tell them
+a tale, now, something lively or pathetic, like the poet Baggesen or our
+own Hoffman, that they all like. Nay, then, what a weary life it is!"
+and he leaned back in his arm chair, and closed his eyes.
+
+Suddenly, something came hissing down the chimney into the stove. It was
+two or three rain drops driven in by the wind. Something else appeared
+to have entered with them, for there was a rustle and breeze in the
+chamber, and then the literary man heard a whisper quite close to his
+ear.
+
+"Thou silly fellow!" cried the wind, for that it was, "to sit in thy
+chamber with closed doors, waiting for the story to come to thee! Nay,
+then, what is there in thy books half so clever or amusing as what one
+sees in real life? Listen, now, and I will tell thee what I saw one
+moonlight night as I blew over this wide German land."
+
+
+THE STORY OF THE WIND.
+
+IN summer, all the world--of Leipsic--goes out of town, to Baden or Ems.
+Those who can afford it run over the Alps, to sunny Italy; but in
+winter--ah! then it is very different!
+
+One is glad enough, then, to remain at home by the warm stove; or if one
+goes out, one must be well wrapped up in furs and cloaks.
+
+The little boys slide and skate on the frozen river; the poorer folks go
+about in sledges, and the rich in splendid sleighs, with white fur robes
+and capering horses, which have little bells tied to their manes and
+tails.
+
+Just such a sleigh as this stood, one bright moonlight night, before the
+door of the Burgomaster Von Geirstein, in the good town of Leipsic. The
+whole family were going in a body out of town, and now the hall door
+opened, and forth came the fat and stupid Burgomaster himself, with his
+fat and silly wife on his arm, followed by their pretty, blue-eyed
+daughter, Matilda, and her lover, Walther Von Blumenwald, a thriving
+young merchant. Her brother, Max, came last, a merry, good-natured young
+fellow, but who, certainly, was not very wise.
+
+Max took the driver's place; the others seated themselves within the
+large sleigh, and tucked the warm fur robes around them, and then, with
+a crack of the whip, and a loud huzzah from the young men, the sleigh
+glided swiftly away.
+
+About five miles from the town, in the midst of the forest, was a large
+inn of the better sort, which had lately become a favorite resort of the
+wealthy who went sleighing in the winter. Balls, even, were given there,
+and there one got the most delicious mulled wine and Westphalia hams,
+and all sorts of ale, "Bremen," "Prysing," "Emser ale," even "Brunswick
+Mumme." To this hotel, then, our party were bound.
+
+Merrily rang the bells, swiftly flew the sleigh over the frozen snow,
+and as they passed out at the city gates, the whole party broke into a
+joyous glee:
+
+          "Listen, listen, listen to the merry sleigh bells!
+            How they jingle, jingle, ever blithe and ever clear,
+          With a tintinnabulation that so musically wells
+            As it thrills, and it thrills upon the ear!
+                        Every dancing little note
+                        Seems to gurgle from the throat
+          Of a bird, that in its happy song so eloquently tells
+                        The joy it is to bound
+                        O'er the cold and frozen ground,
+          To the ringing and the clinging of the bells!
+
+          "Listen, listen, listen to the merry sleigh bells!
+            How they jingle, jingle, as the horses dash along;
+          What a story of our gladness their enticing music tells
+            As it chimes and it rhymes with the song!
+                        Such a rollicking delight
+                        Bubbles out upon the night
+          As their joy-creating burthen over hill and valley swells.
+                        Every voice must join the tune
+                        As we skim beneath the moon
+          To the tinkling and the twinkling of the bells!"
+
+The sleigh had now turned out of the high road, and entered the forest.
+For some time the way lay plain before them, but at length came a fork,
+where two roads met.
+
+"Now, then," exclaimed Max, "which way? Blumenwald, thou hast been to
+Ole's before--must I take the right hand or the left?"
+
+"Upon my word, I have forgotten!" exclaimed Walther. "It was a dark
+night when I drove out with my cousins; but, it appears to me, upon the
+whole, that we took the right hand road."
+
+"Well, we can only try," said Max; "at least, if we don't get to Ole's,
+we shall have had a merry sleigh ride."
+
+He shook the reins, and the impatient horses darted off; but, my stars!
+they had taken the wrong road! Deeper grew the wood; the roughness of
+the path momentarily increased; the trees became so thick that the
+moonlight no longer penetrated them, and Max at length stopped his
+horses once more, and gazed around him in bewilderment.
+
+"Potstausend!" exclaimed the Burgomaster; "where has the boy taken us? I
+tell you what, mein sonne, thou hadst best turn back, for we shall never
+get to Ole's to-night."
+
+"And thy sister will take her death of cold!" cried the Frau Von
+Geirstein, while Walther looked anxiously at the fair Matilda, who only
+smiled up at him, and drew her fur-lined hood more closely about her
+face.
+
+Just as they were about to turn back, they heard a sound of sleigh-bells
+behind, and presently a small sleigh approached them, drawn by a
+spirited horse.
+
+Max, without more ado, hailed the stranger, and begged him to set them,
+if he could, on the road to Ole's.
+
+The new comer bowed courteously to the ladies, and replied, "I shall be
+most happy to direct you thither, my respectable friends. In short,
+then, you follow the road before you for a time, then turn to your
+right; next, pursue your way in a southeast direction for a mile; next,
+turn toward the northwest, and then----"
+
+"What, sir!" interrupted Max, "do you suppose we can go to all points
+of the compass at once? What do you mean by your northwest and
+southeast?"
+
+"Potstausend! is the fellow making fun of us?" exclaimed the
+Burgomaster.
+
+"Surely the Herr Von Geirstein cannot suppose I would be guilty of so
+great an impertinence!" exclaimed the stranger. "It is true, the road is
+somewhat obscure; may I not also have the pleasure of driving you to
+Ole's?"
+
+"We thank you--you are most kind," replied the mollified Burgomaster,
+who never doubted for a moment that his vast importance caused him to be
+known to all the world; "but what will become of your sledge?"
+
+"Oh, I don't fear for the sledge--that can remain here among the
+underwood; and my horse can be attached in front of yours."
+
+This arrangement was soon effected, and the stranger, who was so muffled
+up in fur cap and coat, that scarcely a feature could be distinguished,
+mounted beside Max, and seized the reins.
+
+Donnerwetter! how he shouted at the horses! cracking his whip, and
+calling them all manner of strange names. "Now, then, pig with a wooden
+head! Get along with you, toad of serpents! To the mischief with the
+whole team!" till the foam flew on all sides, the iron-clad heels of the
+steeds rang like hammer upon anvil on the frozen ground, and sparks
+scintillated in the air!
+
+Meanwhile, however, the effect of this rapid motion on the Burgomaster's
+family was anything but exhilarating. Now that the bustle of setting out
+was at an end, they one and all began to feel afraid of their strange
+guide, and to think there was something more than common in their
+adventure.
+
+"He's a very odd-looking man, after all," whispered the Burgomaster's
+wife; "how do we know what sort of a fellow he is, and if he is taking
+us to Ole's at all? I, for my part, believe he's in league with some
+robber band, and we shall all be murdered."
+
+"Potstausend! it looks very much like it!" exclaimed the Burgomaster,
+who, although so big a man, was mighty chicken-hearted. "I wish Max had
+not been so confoundedly hasty in accepting his advice."
+
+"I beg thy pardon there, father-in-law," returned Walther; "it was thou
+who bade him come in."
+
+The Burgomaster was about to make some peppery reply, when Max suddenly
+broke upon the whispered conversation by exclaiming:
+
+"Since you are so good, sir, as to drive us, perhaps you will inform us
+to whom we are obliged."
+
+But the stranger, who, before this, had been the noisiest of the party,
+appeared to have become suddenly dumb, for he answered not a word.
+
+"Come, sir," repeated Walther, "tell us who you are."
+
+No answer.
+
+Max now half jumped from his seat, exclaiming, "But we insist on
+knowing, sir, and, furthermore, I should like to know if you are taking
+us to Ole's or not."
+
+The stranger turned at this, and with a smile that displayed his
+glittering teeth, replied:
+
+"My good people, I am taking you just where you are destined to go. As
+to my name, that is my affair. Remember, your safety depends on me;
+certainly, you had better not provoke me, or----" here his speech
+suddenly came to an end, and a fresh series of yells followed to the
+excited horses, which all this time were tearing along as though a troop
+of fiends were in pursuit.
+
+"It must be the Evil One himself!" cried the Burgomaster, trembling in
+every limb, while the ladies screamed and clung together.
+
+"Not quite so bad as that, I hope," said Walther, half laughing, yet
+excited, and, to tell the truth, somewhat alarmed also.
+
+"We are all fools if we allow this thing to go on!" shouted Max, who had
+suddenly recovered his spirits. "Walther, thou wilt stand by me. Give me
+the reins, sir, or hold them longer at your peril!"
+
+As he spoke, he endeavored to seize the reins, while Walther stood up in
+the sleigh and grasped the whip.
+
+All at once the stranger let fall the reins, and as they trailed on the
+ground, he snatched the whip from Walther's hand, gave a sudden leap
+into the air, and vaulted on the back of the near horse, where he sat at
+ease, and drove postillion, without their being able to help themselves.
+
+"Alas, we have no arms!" groaned the Burgomaster; "we may as well be
+resigned to our fate. Kiss me, my children; you may never kiss your old
+papa again!"
+
+On this, the whole quartette fell to weeping, blowing their noses most
+earnestly from time to time, when, just as their grief was at its
+height, and they were fairly sobbing in each other's arms, a sound of
+music broke upon their ears! The next moment lights gleamed through the
+trees, the sleigh took a sharp turn, passed through an open gate, and
+drew up before the very door of--Ole's! For, in reality, both roads led
+to the inn, although one was much more intricate and less frequented
+than the other.
+
+The Von Geirsteins were for a moment too much astounded to speak. Then
+the mysterious driver, swinging himself lightly off his horse, and
+doffing his fur cap, showing them a face not only handsome, but
+perfectly familiar to them, exclaimed:
+
+"You see, my dear friends, that it was neither a bandit nor His Satanic
+Majesty who drove you by the nearest road to a robber's castle or the
+lower regions, but your very good neighbor, Fritz Von Eisenfeldt, who
+has had at once the pleasure and amusement of taking you safe and sound
+to Ole's, after all!"
+
+As the wind uttered these last words, it whisked up the chimney and
+disappeared. The literary man sat upright in his chair with a sudden
+start, and opened his eyes wide.
+
+"Good heavens!" he cried, "have I been dreaming, or has the wind really
+related the tale?" He could not at all tell this, but he remembered
+every word of the story, and wrote it on--yes! this very piece of
+paper, where you now read it!
+
+
+SECOND EVENING.
+
+THE following evening the literary man could not but think of the advice
+of the wind. He went to the window, and looked out on the street, to see
+if there might not be a story there.
+
+The houses opposite were as handsome as on this side of the way, and
+exactly like them; the gas lamps burned brilliantly, and everything
+appeared as genteel and stupid as could possibly be conceived. "There's
+not a story to be met with in this part of the town," thought the
+literary man. "I must go out, and see if I can find one elsewhere."
+
+The snow flakes were rapidly falling from the sky, but the literary man
+wrapped his warm cloak around him, and went bravely out. It is not every
+one who has courage to go out in the snow! that is, the snow at
+Friedrichshafen. It is sure to be so wet and cold, with large bits of
+icy hail among it, covering the ground with a slippery compound, that
+one cannot step upon without danger of falling.
+
+However, out he went, and slipped and scrambled along the pavement.
+Kribbedy, krabbledy, plump! down he sat on a neighbor's doorstep; not
+without exclaiming, "Potstausend!"
+
+As he sat there with a rueful countenance, the thought passed through
+his mind, "If, now, the wind would but give me the least idea how to
+begin, I might compose a tale while I wait for a hackney coach, for walk
+I won't!" and he looked up and down the street, but no coach came in
+sight.
+
+All at once it was as though a merry voice whispered in his ear--yes,
+the literary man felt sure that the snow said to him "S-o-o! my good
+friend, the wind has sent thee to me! Fie upon thee, that thou canst not
+compose a tale without help, for all thy learning! Well, pay attention,
+and I will tell thee some of the frolics of my merry cousin, the Frost.
+Now, listen."
+
+And the literary man listened with all his ears, and quite forgot that
+he was looking for a hackney coach, and that he was sitting on the steps
+of his neighbor, the Herr Hartman.
+
+
+THE STORY OF THE SNOW, ABOUT CAPTAIN JACK.
+
+THE children were hurrying homeward on a cold winter's evening, from the
+forest, where they had been binding fagots. As they scampered along,
+some one seized upon them from behind and nipped their ears sharply.
+"Fie, ugly Captain Jack!" cried they; "so thou art at work again! one
+may easily see that!" and they would have pursued their spiteful enemy;
+but he was already gone, and they were now obliged to hasten onward.
+
+Captain Jack had slipped back to the forest, and thrown himself
+stealthily on the ground, laughing to see their discomfiture. The moon
+shone on the spot where he lay, and then all the dried grass appeared
+white and sparkling, as though it were covered with glistening spray. At
+one moment one saw him lying gazing at one with laughing eyes; the next,
+it seemed as though only the hoar dew rested there, and glittered in the
+moonlight.
+
+"Bur-r-r!" growled the north wind, as he flew through the forest.
+"Hollo! Captain Jack; many thanks for the Ice King's message which thou
+broughtest me. Come, wilt thou ride on my back in return?"
+
+"Many thanks!" replied Captain Jack; "I prefer to travel on foot, and
+amuse myself by the way."
+
+"Well, be that as thou wilt!" replied the wind, and he flew off in a
+huff; for he considered that he had made a very honorable offer, and had
+been slighted.
+
+But Captain Jack ran gayly from the forest; taking long strides over the
+grass, and sowing it with little white pearls, breathing on the bare
+branches of the trees, and sheathing them in glittering mail, pouncing
+slyly on stray wayfarers, and pinching their ears and noses till they
+roared again! Then Captain Jack laughed; it sounded like the sharp crack
+of a pistol through the still air.
+
+By the banks of the river hares were creeping, and complaining bitterly
+of the cold. "Ah!" said they, "if we could but find a warm hole to creep
+into, or if we had but thick, curly coats, like the bears!"
+
+"Do you think I have a warm coat to give any one?" quoth Captain Jack,
+and he breathed on their long whiskers, which now stood quite stiffly.
+"Oh hute-tute-tute-tu!" cried they, hopping up and down with pain; "oh
+my toes! my poor toes!"
+
+Captain Jack also danced with merriment; he had neither soul nor
+feeling, and couldn't understand being sorry for any one.
+
+Over the river, the lights of the town were gleaming. They shone like
+stars that had stooped a little lower from heaven. Captain Jack skipped
+lightly across the waves rolling so softly from shore to shore, and as
+he passed, the water smoothed out under his feet; it was as though some
+one had placed upon it a thin sheet of glass.
+
+He ran through the silent streets of the town, where all the world had
+gone to sleep, and peered in at many casements. Sometimes he beheld the
+good folks dreaming, with the hard, ugly frown still on their faces
+which they had worn when they were awake; and then he slipped into the
+room--yes, a key hole was large enough for him to creep through if he
+chose! and breathed upon them so, that they shivered in their beds, in
+spite of the warm eider down they had tucked around them. "The window
+was open on a crack," they would say on the following day; but it needed
+not a crack for Captain Jack to enter if he thought they deserved it!
+
+In other chambers he beheld lovely little children, with the faces of
+angels; or venerable grandsires; with their snowy hair floating over the
+pillow, and then he drew the most beautiful pictures on the window pane,
+to amuse them when they should wake. He crept slyly into the larders of
+thrifty housewives, and, with a touch, made chickens and ducks hanging
+there, quite stiff and tasteless; he skipped to the cistern, and
+magically rendered the pump handle immovable; he ran about the streets
+and played tricks with the bright gas lamps, and they went out, as
+though a puff of wind had blown over them. And, last of all, he ran
+against a stout Burgomaster, returning homeward from a merry supper, and
+so pinched the end of his red bottle-nose, that it tingled again!
+
+"I'll have you taken to prison, you scoundrel!" roared the Burgomaster;
+but how was he to find Captain Jack? Only where a large fire was raging
+did Captain Jack shrink away in haste; heat did not seem to agree with
+him, for he looked strangely small and shrunken.
+
+He was now weary of the city, and hastened lightly to the seaside. In
+the harbor ships lay at anchor, ice-bound; and on one of these a young
+sailor was keeping watch for thieves; but he saw not Captain Jack coming
+softly on board, and peering over his shoulder to see what was written
+on the paper he held in his hand. A lantern hung from the mast and shed
+a feeble light on the tear-blistered page, where the pious mother
+implored a blessing on her son. As he read, the young sailor also wept;
+but Captain Jack had no taste for tears. He breathed on the letter, and
+the sparkling drops that the reader let fall became beads of ice. The
+sailor hastily turned, and for a moment fancied he beheld the brilliant
+eyes of Captain Jack gazing upon him; but the next instant he saw only
+two glittering icicles, which had formed on the ropes.
+
+The sea gulls flew in circles round the vessel; late as it was, they
+still hoped something might be thrown out. Captain Jack caught them by
+the long feathers of their wings, and they tumbled on the deck, and
+hopped stiffly about. "Creesh, creesh!" cried they; "it is that villain,
+Captain Jack, who has served us thus! Ugh! how stiff we are!"
+
+Crick, crack! sounded through the air. It was Captain Jack laughing at
+them.
+
+"How merry it is in winter!" he cried. "It is there my uncle, the Ice
+King, holds his court in the palace at the North Pole. The great
+icebergs come crashing to the very door to do him homage, and the white
+young lady bears dance the Polonaise so gracefully! We don't spend a
+moment in silly thought about anything--no! we frisk and caper about,
+and even my uncle comes down from his throne and hops around, as well as
+his age will permit! and there I have such glorious sport in the long
+moonlight nights!"
+
+"Bur-r-r!" grumbled the north wind, sweeping by. "Thou hadst better
+hurry home, thou silly madcap! The sun is coming, and he is no friend of
+thine!"
+
+"Many thanks!" cried Captain Jack again, with a graceful bow; "I see,
+truly, that my sport is over for to-night!" and he now looked about him
+with mischievous eyes, to see if there were not some last trick that he
+could play before he fled to his forest cave. But there was no time to
+lose, for already the round red sun, winking and blinking sleepily
+behind his bed curtains of red clouds, was rising from the sea; and,
+with a sudden leap, Captain Jack flung himself off the ship, and
+hastened away.
+
+The river was all covered with ice; the little hares skipped over it; in
+the town everybody was bawling for water, and the pump handles were hard
+and fast; the Burgomaster had his nose tied up in brown paper and warm
+vinegar; the naughty people went about with cricks in their necks and
+colds in their heads; while every withered grass blade, every branch of
+tree and bush, and every pane in the windows, was covered with the
+beautiful, fantastic, glittering handiwork of CAPTAIN JACK FROST!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+As the story ended, the door above suddenly opened, and the Herr Hartman
+himself came out; and certainly looked somewhat surprised at seeing his
+good friend sitting there on the lower step.
+
+"Why, my dear Herr Ekstein!" he exclaimed. "Is anything the matter?" and
+he hastened down the steps.
+
+The literary man jumped up, and saw the Herr holding out his hand.
+
+"Nay, then, my good friend!" he exclaimed, "I have been hearing the
+merriest tale!"
+
+"But come in! come in!" cried the Herr Hartman. "Some of our friends are
+with us; let us spend a sociable evening together."
+
+With a pleased and happy face the literary man entered the house, and
+the warm room, where the company were assembled; and, amid peals of
+laughter, related both the story of Captain Jack, and that of the
+sleigh-ride to Ole's, with the deuse himself as driver!
+
+
+
+
+THE CABBAGES;
+
+OR, THE DISCREET WIFE.
+
+
+IN a remote part of Swabia there once dwelt a rich peasant, who was
+noted in all the neighborhood for his shrewdness. No one could get the
+better of him in a bargain, and no man managed his farm with such
+extraordinary success. His crops always seemed to flourish when the
+whole country round was desolated with the blight; his hay was sure to
+be got in the very night before a flood swept away the ricks of his
+neighbors; his cows gave the most milk, his oxen were the fattest, and
+his fields the most fruitful of the whole valley. In short, Wise Peter,
+for so he was called, became wealthy year after year, in a way which
+made his less fortunate neighbors shake their heads enviously, declaring
+"that such marvellous good luck could only be obtained by a bargain with
+the Evil One, or the assistance of gnomes." Whenever any of these
+stories came to the ears of Wise Peter, he would smile and say, "Ah! who
+knows, indeed!" but not a word more would he utter.
+
+Among his other possessions, Wise Peter owned an immense field, which
+was planted entirely with cabbages. If one stood in the middle and
+gazed around, nothing but cabbages and more cabbages grew, as far as the
+eye could reach; and as the fat burghers of the town were all extremely
+fond of sauerkraut, these were a source of great profit.
+
+It happened that Peter had a wife as well known for her folly and empty
+head, as her husband for his sagacity; and as he was rightly named Wise
+Peter, so was she equally well called Silly Catharine. How the two came
+to be united was a mystery to every one; for certain it is, that Silly
+Catharine had nothing to recommend her to a sensible man, but her being
+young and pretty.
+
+Now Silly Catharine, who was as witless as she could well be, was
+fonder of cabbages than anything else in the world. She ate sauerkraut
+for breakfast, cabbage soup for dinner, fried cabbage for supper, and
+boiled cabbage for a noonday treat. Not even the constant scoldings of
+her husband, or the jeers of the neighbors at her folly, could distress
+her in any great degree, if she had only plenty of cabbages.
+
+One morning, Wise Peter loaded his wagon with grain and started off to
+sell it at the distant market town, a good day's journey to and from the
+village. "Now, Catharine," he said to his wife as he departed, "I want
+you to keep your wits about you, such as you possess, while I am gone;
+therefore attend to me. You must give orders that the men reap the
+wheat in the large field, take care that the young turkeys do not get
+among the brambles, and, above all, see that no one enters the little
+storeroom. They are going to tax every one who is worth five hundred
+guilders and over; and as I don't choose to give my hard earnings for
+the support of a parcel of lazy nobles and a useless court, I have
+hidden all the money bags there; therefore, be careful that nobody knows
+of it but yourself." So saying, Peter mounted his wagon and drove off.
+Silly Catharine looked after him as long as he could be seen, and then
+went back to the kitchen, determined to show her husband how clever she
+had become.
+
+"Shall I go and tell the goose girl to hunt the turkeys into the coop
+first?" thought she; "or shall I put on the cabbage to boil? I think I
+will set my cabbage on first; it will take but a moment, the turkeys are
+safe till then."
+
+So she went to the larder, got out a fine large cabbage, and hung the
+pot over the fire, that it might boil quickly. The steam of the cabbage
+cooking ascended to her nose with a delicious perfume, and at last, what
+with hanging over the pot enveloped in steam, and the heat of the fire,
+she felt very drowsy, and falling into her chair, was soon soundly
+asleep. She had not slept long before in came the goose girl, whose
+business it was to take charge of the fowls of all sorts, crying out,
+"Oh, mistress! mistress: the turkeys have got among the brambles, and
+cannot get out!"
+
+"Mercy upon us!" exclaimed Catharine, springing up and wringing her
+hands; "what will Peter say to me! He will, doubtless, break his stick
+over my shoulders. If it were not for the cabbage on the fire, I should
+certainly throw myself from the window!" So saying, she ran out into the
+field, but too late; the little turkeys were all in the very middle of a
+bramble bush, which had tangled in their feathers, until it was
+impossible to get them out; beside which, a fox had entered the barn
+yard in the goose girl's absence, by the gate, which she had carelessly
+left swinging open, and carried off the biggest and handsomest Poland
+rooster, that Wise Peter valued even more than the turkeys. About this
+last loss, however, she said nothing, hoping that her mistress wouldn't
+remark it. This, indeed, proved to be the case; for, without noticing
+the absence of poor Chanticleer, Catharine burst into tears, exclaiming,
+"What is to be done? The only way is to cut the bush down."
+
+[Illustration: THE FATE OF POOR CHANTICLEER.]
+
+As she spoke, she seized an axe, and with one blow felled the bush to
+the ground. But what was her horror to find, as she let fall the axe,
+that she had also struck off the heads of every one of the turkeys!
+
+"Oh heavens! what a misfortune!" cried Catharine; "I am the most unlucky
+woman in the world! _Now_ Wise Peter will not leave a whole bone in my
+body! Alas, the turkeys would have sold for eight skillings apiece when
+they had grown fat and big! The only thing that consoles me is, that I
+shall have such a famous supper ready for him. When he tastes my fine
+cabbage soup, I am sure he must forget to be vexed!" There were still,
+however, the bodies of the turkeys to see after; so she took out her
+needle and thread, sewed the heads of the turkeys on their necks, and
+set them upright in the coop, that they might look as though they were
+still alive.
+
+After this precious piece of cleverness, Silly Catharine returned to the
+house to see how her cabbage came on. But she had been gone so long that
+the water in the pot had all boiled away, and the cabbage was burning on
+hard and fast to the bottom of the pot. "Why, bless me! where can the
+water have gone to?" cried Silly Catharine. "It must have all drawn up
+chimney! Nevertheless, it would be a pity to lose it; full of the
+cabbage juice as it was, it might well have been made into soup; and
+Wise Peter has told me a hundred times never to waste anything. I will
+get something to let down the chimney and see if I can dip it up."
+
+So saying, she began to look about for a rope long enough to reach down
+the chimney; but she couldn't find one. All at once her eye fell on the
+bucket standing outside the well. Joyfully rushing to it, she cut the
+rope, and dragging the bucket after her, scrambled out on the roof, and
+began letting it down the chimney. While she was thus engaged, a poor
+little frightened swallow, who had built its nest there, suddenly flew
+up the chimney and darted right in her face. Silly Catharine was so much
+frightened, that she gave a loud scream and let go of the rope. The
+bucket, of course, fell into the middle of the fire, and in a twinkling
+was burnt to cinders. Down from the roof, and into the kitchen, rushed
+Catherine, but too late; nothing save the iron hoops now remained of the
+bucket.
+
+"What shall I do?" cried Silly Catharine. "Not an hour passes but some
+new misfortune occurs. Alas! I am no longer able to draw water for my
+soup! but stay, I think of a way!" So saying, she took the pot from the
+hook, tied a rope to the handle, let it down the well, with the cabbage
+still in it, and when it was filled carried it back to the house, and
+hung it over the fire.
+
+Soon afterward the dairy maid went to draw some water for dinner. She
+could not find the bucket; so she let down a milk pail instead; but
+when she came to taste the water, she tasted also the flavor of the
+cabbage, and ran to her mistress, calling out, "Why, mistress, who has
+been meddling with our fine well? It had once the best water in the
+neighborhood, but now the flavor is precisely that of a greasy, horrible
+cabbage!"
+
+"Nonsense!" cried Silly Catharine, with an air of contempt; "it is all
+your fancy. Don't tell me that water can taste of cabbages!" Her heart
+beat with affright, however, and as soon as the servant maid had left
+the room, she ran in great terror to the wine cellar. "What the servant
+said must have been true," thought she; "and Wise Peter will never
+forgive me when he finds out that I have spoilt the well. I will,
+therefore, pour some wine into the water, to take away the taste of the
+cabbages." So saying, she seized one of the wine barrels, and in the
+strength of terror she managed, with great difficulty, to push it up the
+cellar stairs, and roll it through the kitchen out to the well. Then she
+removed the spile and tilted the cask forward; when out streamed at
+least thirty gallons of the finest Tokay down the well!
+
+Having done this, Silly Catharine hid the barrel away with great
+precipitation; and, determined to leave nothing else undone, she called
+the reapers and bid them go directly to the large field and reap the
+wheat. Then she went back, and began eating her dinner, saying, "Thank
+heaven, I have a good dinner to sit down to, at least; there are always
+cabbages enough!"
+
+Meanwhile, the reapers made ready to go a-field; and before they went,
+one of them drew a bucket of water to carry with them. But no sooner had
+they tasted the water, than they cried out, "'Tis wine! the finest
+wine!" and scarcely able to believe their senses, they drew up bucket
+after bucket of this new liquor, drank till they became drunk, and then
+tumbled senseless among the wheat; for it happened that the well was
+very low, and what they drew was nearly all wine. While they lay there,
+a violent hail storm came on, and in an hour's time the whole of the
+wheat was beaten to the ground, drenched, crushed, and ruined.
+
+Unconscious of this fresh misfortune, Silly Catharine prepared her soup
+for supper, and then, having finished her work, she sat down in the
+front porch and began to knit, feeling as if at last all her troubles
+were over. Presently the gate was opened, and a man entered the garden.
+It was he who was appointed to gather the tax, and knowing Wise Peter to
+be well off, it was to his house that he first came.
+
+"Oh, you are very much mistaken if you think I will pay your outrageous
+tax!" cried Silly Catharine. "No, no! Wise Peter would know better than
+that, and his wife will not be behind hand! He told me before he went
+that he had no money to pay, and if he had, he wouldn't give it to
+support your lazy nobles; so be off with you!"
+
+While Catharine had been making this tirade, the tax gatherer, to whom
+she had unwittingly given a valuable hint, hit upon a new plan by which
+to secure his guilders. So as she paused, out of breath, he exclaimed,
+in a contemptuous tone: "There is no use in making such a noise, good
+woman; I see plainly that I was a fool to suppose the owner of this
+beggarly house was worth five hundred guilders. Five kreutzers would be
+much nearer the mark!"
+
+"What! do you dare to call the house of Wise Peter beggarly!" cried
+Catharine in a rage; "beggarly, indeed! you could never get such a fine
+one if you live a thousand years."
+
+"And I repeat that it is a beggarly house," said the other; "with a
+poor, miserable family in it."
+
+"You don't believe me?" screamed Silly Catharine; "well, then I'll show
+you what you call poor; a pretty thing, indeed, that you should say we
+are a beggarly family!" And, bouncing from her seat, she led the tax
+gatherer to the store room, and dragging the money bags from their
+concealment, she opened them triumphantly, saying, "There, what do you
+call _that_?"
+
+"At least a thousand guilders!" exclaimed the tax gatherer, astonished
+at seeing so much more than he had expected. "So, you refuse to pay the
+tax when you have all this money in the house! I confiscate it all in
+the name of the king, and you may think yourself lucky if you and your
+precious husband (who must be wise, since he married such a wife as
+you), don't get thrown into prison besides." So saying, he snatched up
+the bags of guilders, while Catharine stood staring at him in mute
+horror, and in an instant was out of the house, and gone on his way.
+
+Nearly stunned with this new mishap, Catharine burst into tears, and ran
+down stairs crying, as though her heart would break. "What is to become
+of me," she sobbed, "when Peter comes home? He will certainly kill me
+for having shown the tax gatherer the money! Nevertheless, what could I
+do? It was impossible to have people say that Wise Peter was a beggarly
+creature--I could not allow that!" and, a little re-assured, she dried
+her eyes and went to taste the soup. It was nearly done, and tasted
+deliciously. "Ah!" cried Silly Catharine, "the soup is better than
+usual! It quite repays me for all to think that we still have the finest
+cabbages!"
+
+In the mean time, one of the reapers, who had drank less wine than the
+others, woke up sober, and as soon as he found he could stand on his
+legs, he ran post haste to the village to relate the wonderful tale. The
+place being small and the gossips many, it was not half an hour before
+the whole population knew the extraordinary occurrence that had taken
+place. Even the cure, the magistrate, and the doctor rushed into the
+street to hear the news, and a pretty uproar there was. "Said I not
+truly that Wise Peter was in league with the Evil One?" exclaimed one,
+"for only thus can the miracle of a spring of wine be accounted for."
+"True, true!" cried the listeners; "a wizard he must be; and that of a
+right dangerous sort!"
+
+Just at this moment, the wagon of Wise Peter was seen coming along the
+road. The impatient villagers could not wait for him to approach them,
+but rushed toward the wagon and surrounded it on every side. "How now,
+wretched wizard!" they one and all shouted; "dare you look us in the
+face when we have found you out in your sorceries? Away with you to
+prison!" and, so saying, they laid hold of Wise Peter, dragged him out
+of the wagon, and bore him toward the magistrate. In vain the wretched
+man begged for some explanation, declared a hundred times over that he
+was no wizard, but an honest peasant; they only shouted, tauntingly, "A
+pretty story for a man who turns his well springs into the finest wine!
+no wizard, indeed! say, rather, a wizard of the worst kind!"
+
+With these words, they hauled him before the magistrate, where, again,
+the reaper repeated his story, adding, by way of proof, "If you don't
+believe me, go and see the other reapers; there they lie drunk, where I
+left them."
+
+"You hear what this honest man says," said the magistrate. "We have long
+suspected you of sorcery, but this proves the matter at once. Either you
+must forfeit a hundred guilders, as ordained by law in such cases, or
+you must go to prison."
+
+Almost distracted, Wise Peter exclaimed, "You have seen fit, worthy
+magistrate, to accuse me of a crime of which, so far from being guilty,
+I know nothing whatever. When I left home this morning, I swear the
+water was as fresh and pure as possible. I know that some envious people
+had long accused me of practising black arts, and if Industry and
+Prudence are black arts, I am certainly guilty; but in this matter of
+the water, I am as innocent as my own wife!"
+
+"All this is very fine," answered the magistrate; "but it happens that
+the bewitched water can be produced;" and turning to the reaper, he
+said, "Have you any of this water about you?"
+
+"Yes, worthy magistrate," replied the reaper; "as I came away from the
+field, I filled my flask with what was left, and brought it with me."
+
+The flask was handed to Peter, and no sooner had he tasted it, than he
+fell back aghast, exclaiming, "Good heaven, it _is_ wine! and very like
+Tokay!"
+
+"What! you confess it yourself?" cried the magistrate. "Don't hope,
+then, for mercy! You shall now pay two hundred guilders, or go to prison
+for a year!"
+
+"Mercy! mercy!" cried the unfortunate man, falling on his knees.
+"Consider my family, worthy magistrate; do not disgrace them by sending
+me to prison! I see the water has been changed, but not by me; and
+though you will not believe me, I can solemnly assure you, with perfect
+truth, that I am innocent."
+
+"Pay or go to prison!" answered the magistrate inexorably.
+
+With many tears and groans, the unlucky Peter drew a purse full of
+guilders from his pocket and paid over the whole proceeds of his sale of
+wheat, which only amounted to a hundred and five guilders; the
+magistrate remarking that he would let him off with that if he would
+solemnly swear never to practise the black art any more, and to
+unbewitch his well as speedily as possible. This Peter did, in despair
+of bringing them to reason, and having been thus severely punished for a
+crime he was utterly guiltless of, he mounted his wagon again, and rode
+home in a state of mind that can better be imagined than described.
+
+When he reached his own home he rapped on the window as usual, to warn
+his wife, and Catharine rushed out to meet him, and, throwing her arms
+round his neck, cried, "Oh, Peter, I am so glad you have returned; the
+good cabbage soup is all ready for you; so come right in and eat it!"
+
+"Eat!" exclaimed Wise Peter, "how can I swallow a mouthful when I am so
+overwhelmed with misfortune?"
+
+"What! you also!" said Catharine; "alas! what has happened?"
+
+[Illustration: PETER'S RETURN HOME.]
+
+With accents that trembled with rage and grief, Wise Peter told how
+he had been treated in the village; but he had scarcely made an end
+before Catharine, bursting into tears, exclaimed, "Oh, what will become
+of me! Have mercy, Peter, for it was I who poured the wine down the
+well!"
+
+"Poured wine down the well!" cried Peter, starting in astonishment;
+"then, for heaven's sake, why did you do that?"
+
+"Because," sobbed his wife, "the water tasted of cabbages!"
+
+"Of cabbages!" repeated the peasant, in greater surprise than ever, "and
+what made it taste of cabbages?"
+
+"Because I dipped up water in the cabbage pot," cried Silly Catharine.
+
+"And where was the bucket?" asked her husband.
+
+"I burnt it, trying to dip the water out of the chimney, that had been
+drawn up from the cabbage pot!" gasped Catharine, feeling that
+everything must now be told, since she had begun.
+
+Wise Peter took two or three strides across the room in silence; then,
+making a violent effort to speak quietly, he said, "And why, Catharine,
+since you supposed that water could be drawn up a chimney, did you leave
+the pot unwatched?"
+
+Almost in a scream, Silly Catharine broke out, "Because I was sewing on
+the turkeys' heads that I struck off cutting down the bramble bush!!"
+
+"Now, was ever any man tormented with such a fool of a wife!" shouted
+Peter, almost beside himself with rage. "I could beat you with pleasure
+for acting so witlessly, but that, alas! would not pay for what you have
+lost for me this day. A hundred and five guilders of my precious money
+have I been made to pay for your foolery, besides losing my Tokay wine,
+my field of wheat, and all my fine young turkeys! at least a hundred
+guilders more!"
+
+"Oh, and that's not the worst!" cried Catharine.
+
+"What! is there any more to come?" exclaimed Peter, almost out of his
+senses.
+
+"Yes," stammered Silly Catharine; "the man came here to gather the tax,
+and I told him, as you said, that you were far too clever to pay it, and
+that he would get nothing more out of me. Then he said you were a
+beggarly fellow, not worth five kreutzers, and, of course, I couldn't
+allow that; so I showed him the guilders in the store room, to prove
+that he spoke falsely, and he took every one of them! I am so sorry, but
+never mind, there is excellent cabbage soup for supper!"
+
+At this, Peter could restrain himself no longer, and falling upon Silly
+Catharine, he trounced her well with his stick, until she cried out for
+mercy. "There!" he said at last, throwing down the stick, "you have
+been well punished, though not half enough to pay for the mischief you
+have done."
+
+Silly Catharine dried her eyes upon her apron, and with a reproachful
+look exclaimed, "Still you have beaten me, Wise Peter, for what I could
+not help; for, if the turkeys had not been killed, I should never have
+stayed away so long; if the water had not flown up chimney, I should not
+have burnt the bucket; and if the well had not tasted of cabbages, I
+should not have thrown in the wine. And, above all, dear Peter, if that
+abominable man spoke ill of you, how could I, your wife, avoid showing
+him that he lied? Besides, the case is not so bad; we have lost nearly
+all, it is true; but, thank heaven, we still have delicious cabbages!"
+
+In spite of himself, Wise Peter could not help bursting out laughing.
+"After all, Catharine," he exclaimed, "I see you did not intend doing me
+any harm; if you are a fool, that, certainly, is not your fault;
+therefore, in future let us never be separated. Come, you pretty goose,
+let us go and eat cabbage soup."
+
+So saying, Wise Peter kissed his wife's blooming cheek, and led her into
+the house. They sat down with contented hearts to the nice, smoking
+soup, and after supper walked out among the spreading cabbages.
+
+
+
+
+THE WONDERFUL LEGEND OF THE GOLD STONE.
+
+
+IN those far away times when the world was yet in its baby clothes, and
+people were not as wise as they are nowadays, there dwelt in the good
+town of London a poor tailor's apprentice named Bartlemy Bowbell. He
+might be called poor in a double sense; for not only was he such a lazy,
+idle fellow that he scarcely ever took a stitch, and so seldom had a
+copper of his own, but he was a miserable workman, and, like an
+organ-grinder's monkey, or a blind man's dog, obtained more kicks than
+halfpence.
+
+In the same room with him were several other tailors; who sang together
+one of two tunes as they stitched. If they were paid for every day's
+work, be it much or little, they sang, "By the d-a-y! by the d-a-a-y! by
+the d-a-a-a-y!" and the needles went in and out as slowly as the coaches
+of a funeral procession; but if they were paid for every garment they
+finished, then they sang, "By the job! by the job! by the job!" and the
+needles stitched away like an express train! Bartlemy, however, crossed
+his legs, put his thimble firmly on, and stitched briskly for five
+minutes; then his attention would wander, and presently, dropping work,
+thimble, shears, and needle, he began singing to himself,
+
+          "Oh, if I were only possessed of my riches,
+          I never would sew on a pair of old breeches!
+                Thimbles and thread!
+                Buttons and braid!
+          Oh, who would be bound to this rascally trade?
+
+          "If money I had, I'd be free from all care,
+          And what _master_ must _make_, _I_ should have but to _wear!_
+                Needles and pins!
+                Shears and cloth ends!
+          When the work's ended then pleasure begins!"
+
+"What's that you're singing about riches?" cried his master, sharply;
+"Riches, forsooth! you will die in the poor house, I can tell you, if
+you don't stitch more diligently! Come, sew away! sew away!" So saying,
+he gave him a good thwack with his yard stick, to make him continue
+working.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+All the beatings in the world, however, could not thump out of Bartlemy
+Bowbell a belief that had got into his head that he should one day
+become rich and famous, through the agency of a wonderful jewel called
+the Gold Stone. As I said, people, in those days, were by no means so
+wise as they are at present, and so it fell out that the most learned
+philosophers of that olden time believed as firmly as did the tailor's
+apprentice in the existence of this Gold Stone, the peculiar property of
+which was, that if it came in contact with any common metal, it changed
+it, on that instant, into gold. Now, this story had come to the ears of
+Bartlemy Bowbell, and by one of those odd cranks that not overwise
+people sometimes take in their heads, he was perfectly persuaded that,
+sooner or later, he was fated to find the miraculous gem.
+
+Matters soon rose to such a pitch, as may easily be seen, that his
+master finally turned him out of doors, saying "that he ate more than he
+would ever earn."
+
+"Very well, master," quoth Bartlemy, "I don't regret your goose and
+cabbage!" and having said this, he ran away as hard as he could,
+dropping one of his slipshod shoes as he went along, with his master
+pursuing after, yard stick in hand, whom, however, he soon contrived to
+outstrip.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+As he had not earned a penny during the week, he was entirely without
+money, and nobody would lodge a shabby apprentice with only one shoe,
+for nothing. He wandered on until he was clear of London and in the open
+fields, begging of those he met on the road, but who always replied to
+his solicitation, "Why don't you go to work, you lazy 'prentice?" for
+they knew what he was, because he wore a 'prentice's flat cap. Worst of
+all, night now came on, and Bartlemy was at last compelled to lie down
+beneath a tree, where he soon fell asleep. The moon rose high, and still
+Bartlemy snored, when, all of a sudden, he was roused by a smart blow on
+the shoulder from what he could have sworn was a yard stick.
+
+"Needles and pins!" cried Bartlemy, sitting up in haste; "what's that?"
+
+"Bartlemy Bowbell," croaked a strange voice, "look at me."
+
+Bartlemy looked round, and to his extreme terror, saw standing beside
+him a being whom he could only suppose to be a goblin. He was not more
+than four feet high, with very bow legs, as though from a constant habit
+of tucking them up on a tailor's shop board; his clothes, fashioned from
+odd bits of velvet and cloth such as tailors call "cabbage," or, as we
+should say, the pieces of the customers' stuff left from their
+coats--were trimmed with thimbles for bell buttons; on his head was a
+tailor's cotton nightcap, with a long tassel, and hanging at his waist
+were an immense pair of shears, and a pincushion bristling with needles
+and pins. In one hand he carried the yard stick with which he had struck
+the luckless 'prentice, and in the other a tailor's goose, or flat iron.
+
+His face was expressive of the most jovial good humor, though it could
+not be called handsome, for his nose was flattened as though he were in
+the habit of trying his iron against the end; his hair seemed composed
+of long and short threads mingled together, and he had an abominable
+squint, as though he were always endeavoring to see how a coat set at
+the front and back, the collar and tail at the same time.
+
+"Bartlemy," said the goblin again, "what's the matter with you?"
+
+"Matter, your worship?" gasped Bartlemy.
+
+"Come to the point," said the goblin, severely, accidentally swinging
+his pincushion against Bartlemy's legs at the same time, and pricking
+him most atrociously. "You are everlastingly growling and grumbling,
+instead of working at your trade like an honest tailor, and richly
+deserve to be thwacked with the yardstick every morning by way of
+breakfast; but never mind, I choose to help you; so say what you want,
+quick."
+
+"A-and who might your worship be?" asked Bartlemy, with a cold shudder;
+for he felt desperately afraid that he had got hold of Old Boguey or
+Old Nick--it was not much matter which.
+
+"That's none of your business," said the being; "but if you must know, I
+am Snippinbitz, the patron of the tailors."
+
+"O lord, your worship, you don't say so!" stammered Bartlemy.
+
+"That's a fact!" returned the goblin. "Come, out with it; what can I do
+for you?"
+
+Bartlemy scratched his head and took off his cap, looked into it, found
+no words there, and put it on again; and finally, with a bow that nearly
+toppled him head over heels, and a kick up of his foot that sent his
+remaining slipper flying into the nearest mud-puddle, he managed to
+say:
+
+"Please, your worship, I want to find the Gold Stone."
+
+The goblin burst into a discordant laugh on hearing this; then, suddenly
+becoming serious, he said:
+
+"Well, that's a sensible request, Bartlemy, and a modest one,
+considering the circumstances. Never mind, I have taken a fancy to you;
+your wish shall be accomplished. See here."
+
+With these words Snippinbitz put his hand in his pocket, and pulled out
+a magnificent jewel, as it seemed to Bartlemy. It was of the most
+resplendent purple color imaginable, and sparkled all over with flecks
+of gold, which seemed to swim beneath the surface. Nothing could look
+more gorgeously beautiful as the astonished tailor held it up in the
+moonlight; yes, there could be no doubt of it; the mysterious, the
+unattainable Gold Stone was really his!
+
+"Now, Bartlemy, attend to me," continued the being. "The Gold Stone is
+yours, but under certain conditions, which must be faithfully complied
+with, or no gold! First, you must return to London to-morrow, seek out
+your old master, and ask him to employ you as a regular workman. You
+will find yourself able to sew as well as the best, through my
+assistance, and you must employ this power diligently on the work he
+gives you to do. I warn you, however, that you must keep the secret of
+the Gold Stone from everybody; and, in order that you may do so, you
+must never take it out of your pouch until you are safe in your own
+chamber. Secondly, when you receive your wages, place the money directly
+in the pouch containing the Gold Stone, and do not look at it until you
+go to bed. Then you will find the copper turned into silver, and the
+silver into gold. But if you count the money first, it will never be any
+different. Thirdly, in a year's time from to-night, meet me at this
+spot, and tell me how you have prospered. Will you keep these conditions
+faithfully?"
+
+"Ye-y-es! your worship!" stammered the 'prentice.
+
+"Then, how are you, Mr. Gold Stone!" exclaimed the goblin, in advance
+of the age; and, with an outrageous wink, he treated Bartlemy to another
+whack with the yardstick, and vanished.
+
+The blow struck our tailor insensible; and when his eyes again unclosed
+it was broad daylight. For a moment he stared about him, wondering how
+he came to be there; then, remembering the extraordinary events of the
+previous night, he hastily felt in his pouch, and drew out the
+miraculous jewel. It flamed in the sunlight like a bright diamond eye,
+and Bartlemy almost fancied he caught it winking at him. This idea
+lasted but a moment, and having taken a long and delighted stare at the
+much-desired Gold Stone, he replaced it carefully in his pouch, and
+started straight for London. As he passed the newly-opened bakers'
+shops, he could not help wishing that he had a half-penny in the world,
+so that he might change it into a crown on the spot, and buy a basketful
+of hot rolls; but as the Gold Stone was not warranted to _make_ money,
+he was forced to take it out in wishing. Fortunately one of the bakers,
+seeing him gaze hungrily at the hot bread, had the kindness to toss him
+a large roll; and, munching this, he arrived at his master's shop.
+
+After the way in which he had been turned out, he hadn't much hope of
+getting in again, but, afraid of disobeying the goblin's injunctions,
+he entered with as much courage as he could muster, and found the other
+tailors stitching away as usual, while his master cut out a coat.
+
+Bartlemy took his cap humbly off, saying, "Please, master, if you will
+employ me as a workman now, I think I can please you. Do try me; I will
+be industrious; indeed, I will."
+
+"Oh," grumbled the master tailor, "sleeping out in the fields and going
+without supper and breakfast has done you good, has it? Well, take this
+coat and sit you down; but I warn you, beforehand, that if you are not
+more industrious than usual, I will lay my yardstick over your shoulder,
+and clear you out again."
+
+Bartlemy took the work, and having planted himself on the shop-board[A]
+in his favorite place, near a window, he put on his thimble, threaded
+his needle with a grand flourish, and began to stitch away for dear
+life. He sewed faster and better than he had ever done before, and
+found, to his joy, that the goblin's promises had begun to be fulfilled
+in reality. But bad habits are not to be conquered as one would pull up
+weeds: though both must be torn up by the roots, one might weed three
+gardens in the time it takes to destroy one fault; and so, without
+really meaning it, Bartlemy at last began to ply his needle less
+briskly; his thoughts wandered; he took a stitch that was three times
+too long, then another in a wrong place, a third and fourth all askew,
+and finally the work came to a dead stand-still. But, thimbles and
+thread! what happened? The instant his hand stopped, a long yellow
+yardstick came flying through the window, with no one holding it, hit
+him such a thwack on the shins that he roared again with the pain, and
+instantly vanished.
+
+"Why, what's the matter?" asked the other tailors, startled, as they
+well might be.
+
+"Matter!" cried Bartlemy. "Why, didn't you see that--that horrible
+yardstick coming at me?"
+
+At this they all laughed at him for a fool; for nobody but our tailor
+could perceive this terrific weapon, which was doubtless invisible to
+common eyes. His conscience whispered, however, that his punishment was
+a reminder from the friendly goblin, and accordingly he set to work with
+renewed diligence. After a while, lost in dreams of his approaching
+wealth, he stopped stitching again, when, like a flash, in came the
+yardstick, touched him up with a vengeance, and vanished as before; and
+so it continued all the time he was sewing: the watchful yardstick would
+only allow him to stop to thread his needle or turn the work.
+
+When he had stitched all the seams, he laid the coat on the table and
+heated his goose, that he might smooth them. He took care to post
+himself a good way from the window, in order to get rid of the ferocious
+yardstick; but the goblin was not to be baffled thus. The moment he
+stopped ironing and began to count the flies on the ceiling, the goose
+seemed to carry his hand up with it--irresistibly--to the end of his
+nose, and gave it a good scorching! This was no joke, I can tell you,
+and in a very short time Bartlemy began so to dread the visits of his
+two enemies that he never left working a minute, and his needle dashed
+along like magic. By sunset the coat was done, and sewed in a manner
+vastly superior to the other tailors, who looked at him with envious
+eyes. "What! finish a whole coat in one day?" they cried; "we never
+could do so well! Goose and cabbage! friend Bartlemy! you must have the
+assistance of some fairy!"
+
+Bartlemy made no answer, but taking the coat in hand, carried it to his
+master, who viewed it in the greatest astonishment. Never before had a
+coat been made in a single day, and stitched, too, more finely than
+anything he had ever seen; but, not wishing to raise his late
+'prentice's ideas of himself, he merely grumbled out, "For a wonder you
+have done your work this time; so now take your wages, and be sure to
+come early Monday morn."
+
+As he spoke, he slipped a couple of coins into Bartlemy's hand, who,
+remembering the goblin's words, put them into his pouch without so much
+as looking at them.
+
+Now, no doubt my clever little readers have guessed quite readily the
+true solution of this mighty mystery; but to the simple Bartlemy the
+reality of the Gold Stone's magic power was placed beyond a doubt when,
+on reaching his chamber and striking a light, he found, instead of the
+farthing and penny which had always been his weekly payment, a crown and
+sixpence.
+
+"Huzzah! huzzah!" he cried, fairly jumping for joy; "my beautiful Gold
+Stone is doing its work bravely." He kissed the stone in his delight,
+and went to bed, to dream of becoming a master tailor, and making
+clothes for the king.
+
+The following Monday he repaired to his master's shop the first of any
+one, and everything happened as on the former time; except that, being
+more diligent at his work, the goose and the yardstick were less
+frequent in their favors, and he now made a coat and a vest in the day.
+His master really knew not what to think; but at least so good a workman
+was not to be lost; so he kept his surprise and suspicions to himself,
+and made up by heaping more and more sewing on the luckless Bartlemy.
+
+It didn't make any difference, however; his needle almost seemed to work
+by itself, and the sewing was finished by sunset; so that, really, the
+good-natured goblin was the original sewing machine, and no thanks to
+Messrs. Grover and Baker. At the end of the week his master paid him a
+crown and a shilling; or, as Bartlemy believed, a farthing and a penny;
+the next week a guinea, and the week after a guinea and a crown, which
+was the highest wages ever paid.
+
+So things went on, until Bartlemy had earned enough to make quite a
+fortune in his eyes; ten whole guineas lay glittering in the old night
+cap where he kept his savings, and the tailor thought he might now set
+up for a gentleman. So he bought cloth, made himself, in secret, a fine
+cloak, coat, and breeches, and in these jackdaw adornments paraded
+about the streets a whole morning, trying to appear an idle fine
+gentleman. At last he strutted into the best inn, ordered a grand dinner
+and a bottle of wine, and feasted like a lord.
+
+But his time was coming. The watchful goblin, though not at his side,
+knew perfectly well what he was about, and soon led him to betray his
+quality most fatally. When the bill was brought him, it was so long and
+so tremendous that Bartlemy sprang up in a rage, crying out:
+
+"_Thimbles and thread!_ Do you call this a decent charge for your paltry
+dinner?"
+
+The landlord stared at him in astonishment; then, suddenly bursting
+into a loud laugh, he cried, "Why, gentles all, this fine nobleman is
+nothing but a tailor! ha! ha!" and he put his hands to his fat sides and
+shook with laughter.
+
+"Be silent, sirrah!" thundered Bartlemy; "or _I'll break my yardstick
+over your shoulders_!"
+
+"Ha! ha! only hear what he says!" laughed the landlord. "A miserable
+tailor."
+
+"If you do not stop your impertinence, I will _shear off your ears like
+cloth clippings_!" retorted the angry tailor. "Goose and cabbage! man;
+you shall not trifle with me!"
+
+On this the landlord and waiters turned him bodily out of the house,
+after seizing upon all his remaining money; and the moment he was in
+the street, the knowledge of how he had betrayed himself broke upon his
+mind. Mortified and miserable, he hurried home, determined, after this,
+to stick to his trade and play fine gentleman no more.
+
+The year at last drew to a close, and Bartlemy had now earned enough to
+set up for a master tailor; when, one bright moonlight night, he
+suddenly remembered that it was the very anniversary of his meeting with
+the goblin. Starting up, he ran to where his pouch was placed, took out
+the Gold Stone and enjoyed a long look at it, and then, throwing his
+cloak around him, he hastened forth. The moonlight beamed brightly on
+the path he was taking, and seemed to throw all sorts of queer shadows
+before him; now it was an immense yardstick, now a thimble supported on
+two needles like a pair of spindle legs, then a goose with a pair of
+shears astride on the handle.
+
+At last, as he paused under the old tree, he heard a familiar croaking
+laugh, and found himself unexpectedly in the presence of Snippinbitz,
+the friendly goblin.
+
+"Well, Bartlemy," croaked the being; "and how have you prospered with
+the Gold Stone?"
+
+"Marvellously well, your worship!" replied Bartlemy, in a joyous tone.
+
+"And you found a crown and a shilling, and a guinea and a crown,
+instead of your penny and farthing; did you, Bartlemy?"
+
+"Why, yes, your worship, I did, certainly."
+
+"And the Gold Stone changed them, did it, Bartlemy?"
+
+"Why, yes, your worship; of course it did."
+
+"Now, Bartlemy," said the goblin, in a confidential tone, laying his
+hand on the other's shoulder, "I want to tell you something. It isn't
+the Gold Stone!"
+
+"It's--not--the--Gold--Stone!!" gasped Bartlemy.
+
+"Why, no, you donkey! there's no such thing!"
+
+Bartlemy turned fairly green and yellow with horror and disappointment.
+
+"Listen to me, Bartlemy Bowbell," said the goblin; "nobody but a donkey
+would suppose that a round bit of purple glass----"
+
+"Of purple glass!" repeated Bartlemy, in a sort of dream.
+
+"Don't interrupt, Bartlemy--that a bit of purple glass could change
+copper into gold. Your master paid you the wages your work was worth,
+that is all. There is no such preposterous jewel on the face of the
+earth as you imagine; but there _is_ a true Gold Stone, and its name is
+
+                        'FAITHFUL INDUSTRY!'"
+
+As the goblin spoke these words, he suddenly began to change his form,
+and grew taller and broader. His bell-button thimbles fell off, his flat
+nose became long and sharp, his thread hair gave place to a bald pate,
+and his whole appearance became wonderfully like Bartlemy's master. He
+raised his yardstick, brought it down with a tremendous
+crack--and--Bartlemy WOKE!
+
+Yes! he was lying under the tree where he had thrown himself down the
+night before. The whole of what had passed, Gold Stone, money, goblin,
+and all, was but the fantastic tracery of a dream; and above him really
+stood his master, who had repented of having turned away his luckless
+'prentice, and had come to seek him.
+
+The lesson was not lost, however, on our hero. He returned to his
+master's shop, where he worked diligently, without any yardstick coming
+after him; and in three years' time rose to be a master tailor, married
+his old master's daughter, cut the coats of the king himself, and took
+for his arms a Gold Stone, supported by two shears, and the motto:
+
+                     FAITHFUL INDUSTRY.
+
+FOOTNOTE:
+
+[A] A shop-board is a kind of table on which tailors sit when
+at work.
+
+
+
+
+THE PHILOSOPHERS' TOUR.
+
+
+THERE were once five learned men, who had been shut up all their lives
+in their studies, poking their noses into saucepans full of cookeries,
+which did not resemble savory soups or well-flavored ragouts, wearing
+their eyes out with reading books printed in the crabbedest black letter
+possible, and shrivelling up their brains with thinking, until they
+quite rattled inside their skulls, all in pursuit of out-o'-the-way
+knowledge.
+
+There was really nothing scientific with which they were not
+acquainted; while, in the mean time, one or two little things, perfectly
+familiar to people who use their eyes for the purpose of noticing the
+common occurrences and habits of every-day existence, and exercise their
+understanding in everything that can make life comfortable and
+agreeable, had entirely escaped the observation of our philosophers.
+
+As the emperor allowed them each a handsome pension to advance the
+interests of science, they went on with their discoveries rejoicing, and
+for a long time had never stirred from their apartments in one of His
+Majesty's country palaces. They scarcely left off thinking, when they
+were asleep; never had the least idea what they were eating for dinner,
+or even what the materials of that dinner looked like; and, in short,
+were sublimely unconscious of any of the ordinary affairs or interests
+of life; and thought only of sciences, and high-flown theories of
+Health, of Natural Philosophy, Chemistry, Botany, and goodness knows
+what beside. The fifth and last of the learned men was supposed to
+consider silence as an art or science, since he hardly ever said
+anything; and for that reason was thought to be wiser than the other
+four put together.
+
+At last, one fine morning, one of our learned men chanced to poke his
+head out of the window, to see what on earth had become of one of his
+glass retorts, which he had filled with gas until it went off like a
+rocket; and could not help being struck with the blue sky, the fresh
+green herbage, and the thousands of beautiful wild flowers that
+sprinkled the grass. It was a charming summer day; the birds had not yet
+left off singing, and the fresh breeze, fanning the bald forehead of the
+philosopher, appeared wonderfully pleasant.
+
+"Why, bless me!" cried the philosopher, whose name was Dr. Skihi; "while
+I have been trying to reduce chemistry to the uses of a penny post, I
+never thought of remarking whether it was a pleasant day or not. How
+bright and beautiful everything looks! Out-of-doors is a very good sort
+of thing, after all. I declare, I've a great mind--pooh! nonsense;
+science--glorious science, is a great deal more to be regarded than a
+fine day in the country."
+
+[Illustration: DR. MUMBUDGET LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW.]
+
+So saying, he drew his head in again, and turned to his books and
+saucepans; for, you see, he was trying to condense gas, and make it dart
+through the air like a skyrocket, carrying a letter, or a telegraphic
+message, or even a traveller with it, if it was made strong enough; but,
+so far, he had only succeeded in breaking his retorts, and blowing
+himself up till his head came bump against the ceiling, and knocked off
+little bits of plaster. Everything in the study looked remarkably dingy
+after the freshness of the fields, and the doctor could not refrain
+from taking another peep. This time, the contrast appeared even greater
+than before, while directly underneath his window there now stood two
+pretty little girls, one holding a great bunch of roses and other
+blooming flowers, and both intent on a long leaf of manuscript, which
+they were puzzling and laughing over, calling it "such a silly thing!"
+Our doctor, to his great dudgeon, recognized it as part of a learned
+treatise, his own production, which had accidentally blown out of the
+window; but, as to be known as the writer of silly things is not
+specially dignified, he preferred saying nothing about the matter.
+
+"I have a great mind," he said again; "yes, I'll go and ask Dr.
+Sheepshanks if he does not think it would be a good plan for us to take
+a short trip into the country. No doubt we should make some very
+important discoveries."
+
+Excusing the idea to himself in this way, Dr. Skihi toddled up one pair
+of stairs and down two pair of stairs, and straight along a crooked
+corridor, and all round a square hall, until he arrived at the
+apartments of Dr. Sheepshanks. He knocked at the door, and peeped
+through the keyhole until he was told to come in, when he opened the
+door softly, and shut it with an astonished bang, that made all the
+spiders, who were dancing hornpipes in all the corners (for the learned
+men would have died rather than have their sacred studies disturbed by
+a house-cleaning) stand on one leg for several minutes with surprise, as
+a noise in the philosophers' palace was a thing rather more seldom met
+with than a crononhotonthologos.
+
+The sight that caused Dr. Skihi to commit such a breach of good manners
+was Dr. Sheepshanks in the very middle of a summersault! with his
+flowered dressing gown about his ears and his spindle shanks and black
+stockings in the air, looking not unlike a two-legged radish growing
+upside down.
+
+To him rushed Dr. Skihi, who, catching his friend by the tails of his
+dressing gown, had him right side up in a hurry, exclaiming, "Crucibles
+and gasbags! my good sir, have you gone crazy?"
+
+"No, indeed," returned Dr. Sheepshanks, with a gleeful laugh. "I have
+made a discovery, sir--a great discovery. I happened to look out of the
+window, a moment ago, and I saw a couple of little chaps racing up and
+down, and playing at that topsy-turvy game you saw me trying just now.
+Their cheeks were so fat, and their frames so sturdy, that I feel
+convinced such exercises are the best promoters of health in the world;
+and as I am getting rather broken down myself, while I am finding out
+what is the best way for other people to keep healthy, I thought I would
+try the experiment. It does make the blood rush to the head somewhat, I
+must confess; but it's a glorious thing, you may depend! I feel twenty
+years younger and better already, I assure you!"
+
+All this time Dr. Sheepshanks was puffing and panting, with a very red
+face and astonished air; but the new theory had taken possession of him,
+and he would have died at the stake rather than allow that turning
+summersaults was not the exercise best adapted to old gentlemen of
+sixty.
+
+Finding his friend so prepossessed in favor of exercise, Dr. Skihi
+proposed to him that they should go and take a walk, to which he readily
+agreed. Then they went to Dr. Smelfungus, the great botanist, who was
+at present trying to graft japonicas on bramble bushes: "It would
+improve the appearance of the roadside so much!" and Dr. Van Noostile,
+who was writing a splendid work, in twenty-five volumes, to prove that
+people's feeling hot and cold was perfect fancy and nonsense; and also
+giving a number of scientific ways of finding out whether it would rain
+or be clear, and what time o' day it was, without looking to see if the
+wind were east, or running to stare at a clock; which, no doubt, would
+be of the greatest use to the world, and leave all the weathercocks and
+watchmakers quite in the shade. Last of all, they came to Dr. Mumbudget,
+who had on his study door the great doorplate you see in the picture,
+with his name engraved on it in letters six inches long. As usual, he
+said not a word in reply to the invitation of his friends, but nodded
+his head at them instead, until he nearly nodded it off; and so, being
+all of one mind, our philosophers locked up their studies, put on their
+five-cornered caps, and taking their gold-headed canes and their note
+books, to be ready to put down any new fact that might turn up, started
+off for a country ramble.
+
+At first they walked along quietly enough, admiring the prospect, and
+enjoying the fresh air; but after a few moments, Dr. Sheepshanks could
+no longer resist the desire to put his new theory of health into
+practice.
+
+"Really," he began, "it would be much better for us always to pursue our
+studies in the open air. Science teaches us that the most healthy people
+are the wild Indians--those children of nature, who live under the
+trees, dine off fresh fruits, and take plenty of exercise. Let us be
+children of nature, my friends, and improve our health by running to
+that tree," pointing to one at some distance.
+
+Accordingly, the philosopher started off at an amble, followed by his
+companions, who, with dressing gowns flying in the wind, and books
+flying, out of their pockets every minute, presented rather ridiculous
+spectacles. They were so deeply engaged that they did not see Dr.
+Mumbudget quietly walking along behind, picking up their scattered
+property.
+
+So far so good; but unhappily, not being accustomed to the habits of
+children of nature, this sudden introduction to the true mode of life
+discomposed our learned doctors in no small degree. Fairly aching from
+head to foot with fatigue, Dr. Sheepshanks was the first to pause, so
+out of breath that he could hardly speak, yet exclaiming, with a beaming
+face, "Ah! you may depend, gentlemen, that the only way to enjoy life is
+to take plenty of exercise!"
+
+This was drawing rather too hard on the patience of his friends, after
+what they had just endured, and Dr. Skihi exclaimed, rather crossly,
+"At the same time, your exercise is a famous thing to make one thirsty!
+I would give a great deal to obtain a drink of spring water; but that is
+impossible at present."
+
+"Impossible! why, there is nothing easier!" said Dr. Smelfungus.
+"Science teaches us that some vegetables are nearly all water; turnips,
+for instance. All you have to do is to get a turnip and express the
+juice, and there's your drink of water."
+
+"How about going to a well?" said Mumbudget; but nobody appeared to hear
+him.
+
+"And pray, are there any turnips hereabout?" asked the chemist,
+impatiently.
+
+Now, the fact was that Dr. Smelfungus had never seen a turnip; he had
+only read in books that turnips were round, watery vegetables, yellow
+outside and full of juice; for he was so interested in finding out all
+about flowers and plants that came from Australia, and other out of the
+way places, that he never troubled his head with common, homemade
+turnips--those were too vulgar; but as he wished to appear informed on
+all subjects, he pointed hap-hazard to a field beside the road saying,
+carelessly, "Certainly; there are some."
+
+Now, what do you think Dr. Smelfungus had really pointed out? Why, a
+musk-melon patch! and as his companions knew no more than himself, Dr.
+Skihi scrambled through the hedge without more ado, cut with his
+penknife as many as he could carry, and returned to his friends. You may
+believe how they enjoyed the feast, sitting on the soft moss, in the
+cool shade of the trees; and after they were through, Dr. Smelfungus
+gravely wrote down, "Turnip--a large, round vegetable growing on vines,
+with a rough, yellow outside, ever so many seeds in the middle, and
+tastes of nutmegs!"
+
+After these exploits, the philosophers continued on their way, and Drs.
+Smelfungus and Sheepshanks felt more proud of their learning than ever.
+Meanwhile Dr. Mumbudget said nothing; so they gave him credit either for
+thinking a great deal, or being too big a donkey to admire such
+splendid experiments.
+
+The sun had now mounted high, and our travellers began to feel its rays
+inconveniently warm. Dr. Van Noostile, however, laughed them all to
+scorn.
+
+"Too warm! fiddlestick's end!" he cried. "This feeling warm and cold is
+all humbug. Dr. Skihi can tell you that I went to the top of the house
+with him every night for a week, last winter, to look at a comet, in
+nothing but a night gown and an umbrella, and I never was better in my
+life! Other people might have felt cold, or caught cold; but I--I
+enjoyed the science of the thing! If you feel too warm, follow my plan;
+make up your minds you _won't_ feel so, and the thing's done!" and Dr.
+Van Noostile marched proudly along in the hottest part of the road, with
+his nose in the air, though the sun blistered the end most abominably!
+while the others, not to be behindhand in wisdom, followed his example;
+all but Mumbudget, who kept in the shade of the trees growing beside the
+road, and was secretly voted a greater donkey than ever.
+
+Fortunately for the rest, who might otherwise have been sunstruck, a
+friendly cloud bank, which had been for some time gathering in the east,
+now began to cover the sky completely; and Dr. Mumbudget, speaking for
+the second time, just said, "Rain coming; better hurry on," and then
+relapsed into silence.
+
+"Rain! no such thing!" cried Dr. Van Noostile. "When it is about to
+rain, you will observe _that the swallows fly low!_ and as I don't see a
+sign of a swallow, you may depend that----" His speech was interrupted
+by a thunderclap, and then down poured the flood! in one of those
+sudden, heavy showers that so often take place in summer, wetting the
+whole party to the skin in less than two minutes. It was of no use to
+run, and as they plodded along in the wet, our philosophers looked at
+Dr. Van Noostile with faces in which anger and dismay were equally
+mingled.
+
+"Is this your knowledge of weather?" exclaimed Dr. Skihi, in a pet.
+
+"Science teaches us that even a child of nature should go in when it
+rains!" snapped Dr. Sheepshanks.
+
+"And though water is undoubtedly necessary for internal refreshment;
+external application, in the form of a hard shower, is only suitable to
+plants!" snarled Dr. Smelfungus.
+
+In short, they all set upon the luckless weather prophet, except Dr.
+Mumbudget, who, when they had all scolded themselves out of breath,
+quietly pointed out a farm house they were now approaching, and led the
+way thither himself.
+
+There was no need for words. Gladly did the wretched philosophers hasten
+to its shelter, and avail themselves of the bright kitchen fire to dry
+their flowered dressing gowns, and wet stockings and shoes. While they
+were drying, and steaming like the safety valve of a high-pressure
+steamboat, the good woman of the house, not without some doubts of their
+sanity, set about preparing a savory meal. In a short time this was
+ready, and the others were just sitting down to a dish of nice broiled
+ham and some light wheaten biscuits, when Dr. Sheepshanks exclaimed,
+with an air of amazement, "Is it possible, my friends, that you are
+willing to violate the natural laws of health by eating dishes at which
+a child of nature would be horrified! Not for me be so degenerate a
+meal! _I_ shall lunch on fare such as a wild Indian best loves!" So
+saying, he tucked up his sleeves, called for some unground corn, and
+having pounded it in a mortar until it was in coarse bits, he mixed with
+it a little water, and baked this horrible mess before the fire, in the
+hot ashes. Then he asked for a slice of bacon, as venison was not at
+hand, frizzled the out side slightly by holding it up on a cleft stick
+before the fire, burning his ten fingers several times in the process,
+and bearing it with heroic fortitude. Finally, he served up these
+atrocious specimens of cookery on pieces of board instead of dishes, as
+the proper diet for children of nature--and philosophers!
+
+As he could not induce the other _savants_ to prefer the luncheon of
+wild Indians to that of civilized Christians, Dr. Sheepshanks ate it
+all up himself, though, in fact, his rebellious palate steadily refused
+to relish the dainties prepared for it. Science must be made to triumph,
+however, and the little doctor gallantly charged these "What is It's" of
+cookery and finished the last morsel under furious protest of stomach.
+
+Somewhat comforted by the meal, and seeing that the clouds had given
+place to a clear sky, the philosophers resumed their dressing gowns,
+woefully shrunken by the wetting and drying they had received, and
+having liberally paid their hostess, started on the homeward road;
+concluding that they had seen enough for one day. They were in the very
+poorest condition for a long walk, for their theories, so far from
+making them any happier, had produced only ill effects. Dr. Sheepshanks'
+healthful exercise had given them all stitches in the sides, and aches
+in the back; Dr. Smelfungus's knowledge of botany had betrayed them into
+such excesses of melon alias turnip eating, that various queer doublings
+up in the epigastric region began to make themselves apparent; the
+natural philosophy, which had led Dr. Van Noostile and his good friends
+to parade along the middle of the road in the sun, had given them
+furious headaches; and, to crown all, Dr. Skihi now made the most
+brilliant proposal of anybody.
+
+Our good doctor was evidently brimming, one might say creaming, over
+with the milk of human kindness; beyond a possible doubt he was about to
+propound a discovery of benefit to the whole world. His bald head beamed
+benevolence, overflowing beneficence to all mankind radiated from the
+very tails of his dressing gown as he cried:
+
+"My dear friends, you are all too tired to walk home now, ain't you? You
+would like to get there before you could say 'Jack Robinson'--now,
+wouldn't you? and if I were to accomplish that happy end, you could
+never be grateful enough--now, could you?"
+
+"Certainly not!" exclaimed the advocate of exercise, who wished from his
+inmost soul, either that he had taken less turnip, or that the famous
+seven league boots were on his legs at that moment.
+
+"Then all you have to do," cried Dr. Skihi with sparkling eyes, "is to
+get in a convenient posture; allow me to set off this retort of mine
+behind you--" here he produced a "glass concern" from a side pocket, to
+the horror of his friends--"and heigh, presto! you will find yourself
+flying home like a skyrocket"--
+
+"And coming down like the stick!" gasped Dr. Smelfungus, retiring in a
+hurry, for the tails of his dressing gown and the gas retort of Dr.
+Skihi were in inconvenient proximity.
+
+Dr. Skihi vouchsafed not another word, but with an air of indescribable
+dignity adjusted the retort, took out a cork--and--but words fail me to
+describe the catastrophe! Before Dr. Mumbudget could rush forward to
+prevent it, the gas had come in contact with the air, become inflamed
+instantly, and sent Dr. Skihi whirling above the heads of his friends!
+
+Vesuvius in eruption, coal mines on fire, mad bulls in the full rush,
+and crackers exploding in a barrel, rushed wildly through the heads of
+our philosophers, and when, finally, the rocket-riding doctor was
+discharged on a hayrick, the only person who retained sufficient
+presence of mind to go and pick him up was Mumbudget.
+
+Poor Dr. Skihi! The victim to science remained insensible for some
+time; and when he finally recovered his consciousness, could not at
+first be persuaded that he was not in innumerable pieces. When he was,
+at last, enabled to walk on, it was discovered that while they were
+experimenting they had lost their way, and might be close to home or in
+the middle of Kamtschatka for all they knew of the road. It was again
+Mumbudget who helped them out of this difficulty, by speaking for the
+third time that day; and this third remark of the sage was as much to
+the point as the two first. "Ask somebody!" propounded Mumbudget, and
+after hobbling miserably along for some time, this somebody turned up in
+the person of a very small, ragged, dirty urchin; and under the
+guidance of this contemptible little snipe did our prodigies of wisdom
+arrive at last at the abode of Science and Knowledge!
+
+As they entered the hall, Dr. Smelfungus, with an admiring glance at the
+speechless Mumbudget, exclaimed, "After all, gentlemen, there must be a
+science far higher than ours, since we, with all our knowledge, find
+practical life a matter of such difficulty. Only one man, it appears, is
+master of it, and there he stands!" and he made a low bow to Mumbudget,
+who returned it by another, without a word of reply.
+
+Dr. Skihi, at this, glanced with profound contempt at Smelfungus, and
+gave a "hum!" that was echoed by the professor of health and him of
+natural science; then raising himself on the tips of his toes, and
+seesawing up and down at every word, he inquired, superciliously, "And
+pray, sir, may I ask, in the name of my scientific friends, what branch
+of science you profess, which is superior to every other?"
+
+Mumbudget looked with a quiet smile at the excited little doctor, and
+replied, calmly:
+
+"Gentlemen, I am the professor of COMMON SENSE."
+
+At this reply, the learned friends, Smelfungus not excepted, presented a
+series of remarkably open countenances, as respected eyes and mouths,
+while Dr. Mumbudget went on:
+
+"Chemistry, Botany, Natural Philosophy, and Hygienics--all put together,
+gentlemen, have failed to ensure us one day of rational enjoyment or
+ease; for all these sciences are pure absurdities, unless they are put
+in the hands of men who are governed by the wholesome dictates of common
+sense. My wise philosophers, will you come to school to me?"
+
+The doctors gazed a moment yet; first at the proposer of this new
+doctrine, then at each other; and then, all rushing forward at once,
+they seized his hands.
+
+"You are right, my dear Mumbudget!" they exclaimed in a breath; "with
+all our science we are most greatly in want of common sense! Open your
+school at once; we will be the first to join its classes, and celebrate
+the triumph of Reason over Philosophy!"
+
+
+                   THE END OF THE FIFTH BOOK.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Transcriber's Notes:
+
+Obvious punctuation errors repaired.
+
+Page 95, "irrisistibly" changed to "irresistibly" (it--irresistibly--to)
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Funny Big Socks, by Sarah L. Barrow
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FUNNY BIG SOCKS ***
+
+***** This file should be named 29596.txt or 29596.zip *****
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+        http://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/5/9/29596/
+
+Produced by David Edwards, Emmy and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+http://gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
+http://pglaf.org/fundraising.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at http://pglaf.org
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit http://pglaf.org
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+     http://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
diff --git a/29596.zip b/29596.zip
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..ecba8c5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/29596.zip
diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6312041
--- /dev/null
+++ b/LICENSE.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8b7d65e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/README.md
@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #29596 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/29596)