diff options
Diffstat (limited to '28517.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | 28517.txt | 7892 |
1 files changed, 7892 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/28517.txt b/28517.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f590ae9 --- /dev/null +++ b/28517.txt @@ -0,0 +1,7892 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook of Hepsey Burke, by Frank Noyes Westcott, +Illustrated by Frederick R. Gruger + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Hepsey Burke + + +Author: Frank Noyes Westcott + + + +Release Date: April 6, 2009 [eBook #28517] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HEPSEY BURKE*** + + +E-text prepared by Roger Frank and the Project Gutenberg Online +Distributed Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net) + + + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this + file which includes the original illustrations. + See 28517-h.htm or 28517-h.zip: + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/8/5/1/28517/28517-h/28517-h.htm) + or + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/8/5/1/28517/28517-h.zip) + + + + + +HEPSEY BURKE + +by + +FRANK N. WESTCOTT + +Illustrated by Frederick R. Gruger + + + + + + + +[Illustration: "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING THAT LOOKED LIKE A PARSON, HAVE +YOU? YOU CAN GENERALLY SPOT 'EM EVERY TIME"] + + +[Illustration] + +New York +The H. K. Fly Company +Publishers + +Copyright, 1915, by +The H. K. Fly Company. + +Copyright, 1915, by +The Red Book Corporation. + +Copyright, 1914, by +The Red Book Corporation. + + + + +CONTENTS. + + CHAPTER PAGE + I Hepsey Burke 11 + II Gossip 25 + III The Senior Warden 36 + IV Milking 52 + V The Miniature 59 + VI The Missionary Tea 71 + VII Hepsey Goes A-Fishing 85 + VIII An Icebox for Cherubim 96 + IX The Rectory 111 + X The Bride's Arrival 122 + XI Virginia's High Horse 130 + XII House Cleaning and Bachelorhood 137 + XIII The Circus 147 + XIV On the Side Porch 160 + XV Nickey's Social Ambitions 170 + XVI Practical Temperance Reform 186 + XVII Notice to Quit 200 + XVIII The New Rectory 212 + XIX Couleur de Rose 224 + XX Muscular Christianity 238 + XXI Uninvited Guests 253 + XXII Hepsey's Diplomacy 271 + XXIII Hepsey Calls a Meeting 283 + XXIV Omnium Gatherum 308 + + + + +ILLUSTRATIONS. + + PAGE + + "You haven't seen anything that looked like a parson, + have you? You can generally spot 'em every time" Frontispiece + + "I'm blessed if you 'aint sewin' white buttons on with + black thread. Is anybody dead in the family, or 'aint + you feelin' well this mornin'?" 62 + + "Nicholas Burke, what in the name of conscience does + all this idiotic performance mean, I'd like to know?" 80 + + "Oh well, I always believe that two young married + people should start out by themselves, and then if they + get into a family row it won't scandalize the parish" 126 + + "I 'aint a chicken no more, Mrs. Betty, and I've 'most + forgot how to do a bit of courtin'" 140 + + "I consider it a shame and a disgrace to the parish to + have our rector in filthy clothes, drawing stone with a + lot of ruffians" 248 + + "I've got a hunch, Sylvester Bascom, that it'll be you + that'll have the last word, after all" 280 + + "Hepsey Burke, for all your molasses and the little bit + of vinegar you say you keep by you, 'There are no flies + on you' as Nickey would put it" 308 + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER I + +HEPSEY BURKE + + +The noisy, loose-jointed train pulled out of the station, leaving +behind it a solitary young man, enveloped in smoke and cinders. In the +middle of the platform stood a little building with a curb roof, +pointed at both ends like a Noah's Ark; and the visitor felt that if +he could only manage to lift up one side of the roof he would find the +animals "two by two," together with the cylindrical Noah and the rest +of his family. There was no one in sight but the station-master, who +called out from the ticket office: + +"Did you want to go to the village? The 'bus won't be down till the +next train: but maybe you can ride up on the ice wagon." + +"Thanks," the stranger replied. "I think I'll wait for the 'bus, if +it's not too long." + +"Twenty minutes or so, if Sam don't have to collect the passengers +goin' West, and wait for a lot o' women that forget their handbags and +have to get out and go back after 'em." + +The new arrival was good to look at--a handsome, well-built fellow of +about twenty-five, dressed in a gray suit which was non-committal as +to his profession, with a clean-shaven face which bore the +unmistakable stamp of good breeding and unlimited good-nature. He +tilted his suit-case on end and sat down on it; then he filled his +briar pipe, crossed his legs, and looked about to take stock of the +situation. He gazed about curiously; but there was nothing of any +special interest in sight, except, painfully conspicuous on the face +of a grass terrace, the name of the village picked out in large +letters composed of oyster-shells and the bottoms of protruding beer +bottles stuck in the ground. The stranger found himself wondering +where a sufficient number of bottles could be found to complete such +an elaborate pattern. The only other marked feature of the landscape +in the way of artistic decoration was the corrugated base of an old +stove, painted white, which served as a flower vase. From this grew a +huge bunch of scarlet geraniums, staring defiantly, and seeming fairly +to sizzle in the hot, vibrant atmosphere, which was as still as the +calm of a moon-lit night. + +As the man on the suit-case gazed about him at the general air of +dilapidation and neglect characteristic of a country town on the down +grade, and recalled the congenial life of the city which he had left, +with all its busy competition, with all its absorbing activities, the +companionship of the men he loved, and the restful, inspiring intimacy +with a certain young woman, he felt, for the moment, a pang of +homesickness. If the station were a sample of the village itself, then +life in such a place must be deadening to every finer sensibility and +ambition; it must throw a man back on himself and make him morbid. + +The momentary depression was relieved by the station-master, who +suddenly appeared at the door of the Ark and called out: + +"Here comes Hepsey Burke. Maybe she'll take you up; that'll be a dum +sight more comfortable than Lipkin's 'bus." + +There was nothing to be seen but a cloud of dust, advancing with the +rapidity of a whirlwind along the highway, from which there gradually +emerged a team and a "democrat," containing a woman, a boy about +fourteen, and a middle-aged man. + +As the turn-out drew up, the man took the reins from Mrs. Burke, who +jumped out of the wagon with remarkable agility for one of her size +and years, and, nodding to the station-master, came on to the +platform. + +Hepsey Burke was rather stout; and the lines from her nose to the +corners of her mouth, and the wisps of gray hair which had blown about +her face, indicated that she had passed the meridian of life. At first +glance there was nothing striking about her appearance; but there was +a subtle expression about the mouth, a twinkle about the large gray +eyes behind the glasses she wore, that indicated a sense of humor +which had probably been a God-send to her. She was strong and well, +and carried with her an air of indomitable conviction that things +worked themselves out all right in the long run. + +The boy was obviously her son, and in spite of his overalls and frayed +straw hat, he was a handsome little chap. He looked at you shyly from +under a crop of curly hair, with half closed eyes, giving you the +impression that you were being "sized up" by a very discriminating +individual; and when he smiled, as he did frequently, he revealed a +set of very white and perfect teeth. When he was silent, there was a +little lifting of the inner brow which gave him a thoughtful look +quite beyond his years; and you were sadly mistaken if you imagined +that you could form a correct impression of Nicholas Burke at the +first interview. + +The man wore a sandy beard, but no mustache, and had a downcast, +meekly submissive air, probably the depressing effect of many years of +severe domestic discipline. + +Mrs. Burke was evidently surprised to find no one there but the man on +the suit-case; but as he rose and lifted his hat, she hesitated a +moment, exclaiming: + +"I beg pardon, but I was lookin' for a parson who was to arrive on +this train. You haven't seen anything that looked like a parson, have +you? You can generally spot 'em every time." + +The young man smiled. + +"Well, no; I seem to be the only passenger who got off the train; and +though I'm a clergyman, you don't seem to find it easy to 'spot' me." + +Mrs. Burke, with a characteristic gesture, pulled her glasses forward +with a jerk and settled them firmly back again on the bridge of her +nose. She surveyed the speaker critically as she questioned: + +"But you don't seem to show the usual symptoms--collar buttoned +behind, and all that." + +"I am sorry to disappoint you, Madam, but I never travel in clerical +uniform. Can't afford it." + +"Well, you've got more sense than most parsons, if I may say so. Maybe +you're the one I'm lookin' for: Mr. Donald Maxwell." + +"That is my name, and I am sure you must be Mrs. Burke." + +"Sure thing!"--shaking his outstretched hand heartily. "Now you come +right along with me, Mr. Maxwell, and get into the democrat and make +yourself comfortable." They walked round to the front of the station. +"This, Mr. Maxwell, is Jonathan Jackson, the Junior Warden; and this +is my son Nicholas, generally known as Nickey, except when I am about +to spank him. Say, Jonathan, you just h'ist that trunk into the back +of the wagon, and Nickey, you take the parson's suit-case." + +The Junior Warden grinned good-naturedly as he shook hands with the +new arrival. But Hepsey continued briskly: "Now, Jonathan, you get +into the back seat with Nickey, and Mr. Maxwell, you sit with me on +the front seat so that I can talk to you. Jonathan means well, but his +talk's limited to crops and symptoms, even if he is an old friend, my +next door neighbor, and the Junior Warden." + +Jonathan obeyed orders; and, as he got into the wagon, winked at +Maxwell and remarked: + +"You see we have to take a back seat when Hepsey drives; and we have +to hold on with both hands. She's a pacer." + +"Don't you let him frighten you, Mr. Maxwell," Hepsey replied. +"Jonathan would probably hold on with both hands if he lay flat on his +back in a ten-acre lot. He's just that fearless and enterprisin'." + +Then, starting the horses with a cluck, she turned to Maxwell and +continued: + +"I guess I didn't tell you I was glad to see you; but I am. I got your +note tellin' me when you were comin', but I didn't get down to the +station in time, as the men are killin' hogs to-day, and until I get +the in'ards off my hands, I haven't time for anything." + +"I am sorry to have put you to the trouble of coming at all. I'm sure +it's very good of you." + +"No trouble; not the least. I generally look after the visitin' +parsons, and I'm quite used to it. You can get used to 'most +anything." + +Maxwell laughed as he responded: + +"You speak as if it weren't always a pleasure, Mrs. Burke." + +"Well, I must admit that there are parsons and parsons. They are +pretty much of a lottery, and it is generally my luck to draw blanks. +But don't you worry about that; you don't look a bit like a parson." + +"I think that's a rather doubtful compliment." + +"Oh, well, you know what I mean. There are three kinds of people in +the world; men, women, and parsons; and I like a parson who is a man +first, and a parson afterwards; not one who is a parson first, and a +man two weeks Tuesday come Michaelmas." + +Donald laughed: he felt sure he was going to make friends with this +shrewd yet open-hearted member of his flock. The pace slackened as the +road began a steep ascent. Mrs. Burke let the horses walk up the hill, +the slackened reins held in one hand; in the other lolled the whip, +which now and then she raised, tightening her grasp upon it as if for +use, on second thoughts dropping it to idleness again and clucking to +the horses instead. It was typical of her character--the means of +chastisement held handy, but in reserve, and usually displaced by +other methods of suasion. + +As they turned down over the brow of the hill they drove rapidly, and +as the splendid landscape of rolling country, tilled fields and +pasture, stretching on to distant wooded mountains, spread out before +him, Maxwell exclaimed enthusiastically, drawing a deep breath of the +exhilarating air: + +"How beautiful it is up here! You must have a delightful climate." + +"Well," she replied, "I don't know as we have much climate to speak +of. We have just a job lot of weather, and we take it regular--once +after each meal, once before goin' to bed, and repeat if necessary +before mornin'. I won't say but it's pretty good medicine, at that. +There'd be no show for the doctor, if it wasn't fashionable to invite +him in at the beginnin' and the end of things." + +Jonathan, who up to this time had been silent, felt it incumbent to +break into the conversation a bit, and interposed: + +"I suppose you've never been up in these parts before?" + +"No," Maxwell responded; "but I've always intended to come up during +the season for a little hunting some time. Was there much sport last +year?" + +"Well, I can't say as there was, and I can't say _as_ there wasn't. +The most I recollect was that two city fellers shot a guide and +another feller. But then it was a poor season last fall, anyway." + +Maxwell gave the Junior Warden a quick look, but there was not a trace +of a smile on his face, and Hepsey chuckled. Keeping her eyes on the +horses as they trotted along at a smart pace over a road none too +smooth for comfortable riding, she remarked casually: + +"I suppose the Bishop told you what we wanted in the shape of a +parson, didn't he?" + +"Well, he hinted a few things." + +"Yes; we're awful modest, like most country parishes that don't pay +their rector more than enough to get his collars laundered. We want a +man who can preach like the Archbishop of Canterbury, and call on +everybody twice a week, and know just when anyone is sick without +bein' told a word about it. He's got to be an awful good mixer, to +draw the young people like a porous plaster, and fill the pews. He +must have lots of sociables, and fairs, and things to take the place +of religion; and he must dress well, and live like a gentleman on the +salary of a book-agent. But if he brings city ways along with him and +makes us feel like hayseeds, he won't be popular." + +"That's a rather large contract!" Maxwell replied with a smile. + +"Yes, but think what we're goin' to pay you: six hundred dollars a +year, and you'll have to raise most of it yourself, just for the fun +of it." + +At this point the Junior Warden interrupted: + +"Now, Hepsey, what's the use of upsettin' the young man at the start. +He's----" + +"Never mind, Jonathan. I'm tellin' the truth, anyway. You see," she +continued, "most people think piety's at a low ebb unless we're +gettin' up some kind of a holy show all the time, to bring people +together that wouldn't meet anywhere else if they saw each other +first. Then when they've bought a chance on a pieced bed-quilt, or +paid for chicken-pie at a church supper, they go home feelin' real +religious, believin' that if there's any obligation between them and +heaven, it isn't on their side, anyway. Do you think you're goin' to +fill the bill, Mr. Maxwell?" + +"Well, I don't know," said Maxwell. "Of course I might find myself +possessed of a talent for inventing new and original entertainments +each week; but I'm afraid that you're a bit pessimistic, Mrs. Burke, +aren't you?" + +"No, I'm not. There's a mighty fine side to life in a country parish +sometimes, where the right sort of a man is in charge. The people take +him as one of their family, you know, and borrow eggs of his wife as +easy as of their next door neighbor. But the young reverends expect +too much of a country parish, and break their hearts sometimes because +they can't make us tough old critters all over while you wait. Poor +things! I'm sorry for the average country parson, and a lot sorrier +for his wife." + +"Well, don't you worry about me; I'm well and strong, and equal to +anything, I imagine. I don't believe in taking life too seriously; +it's bad for the nerves and digestion. It will be an entirely new +experience for me, and I'm sure I shall find the people interesting." + +"Yes, but what if they aren't your kind? I suppose you might find +hippopotamuses interestin' for a while, but that's no reason you +should like to live with 'em. Anyway, don't mind what people say. They +aint got nothin' to think about, so they make up by talkin' about it, +especially when it happens to be a new parson. We've been havin' odds +and ends of parsons from the remnant counter now for six months or +more; and that's enough to kill any parish. I believe that if the +angel Gabriel should preach for us, half the congregation would object +to the cut of his wings, and the other half to the fit of his halo. We +call for all the virtues of heaven, and expect to get 'em for +seven-forty-nine." + +"Well--I shall have to look to you and the Wardens to help me out," he +said. "You must help me run things, until I know the ropes." + +"Oh! Bascom will run things for you, if you let him do the runnin'," +she replied, cracking her whip. "You'll need to get popular first with +him and his--then you'll have it easy." + +Maxwell pondered these local words of wisdom, and recalled the +Bishop's warning that Bascom, the Senior Warden, had not made life +easy for his predecessors, and his superior's exhortation to firmness +and tact, to the end that he, Maxwell, should hold his own, while +taking his Senior Warden along with him. The Senior Warden was +evidently a power in the land. + +They had driven about a mile and a half when the wagon turned off the +road, and drew up by a house standing some distance back from it; +getting down, Mrs. Burke exclaimed: + +"Welcome to Thunder Cliff, Mr. Maxwell. Thunder Cliff's the name of +the place, you know. All the summer visitors in Durford have names for +their houses; so I thought I'd call my place Thunder Cliff, just to be +in the style." + +Jonathan Jackson, who had kept a discreet silence during Hepsey's +pointers concerning his colleague, the Senior Warden, interjected: + +"There 'aint no cliff, Hepsey, and you know it. I always tell her, Mr. +Maxwell, 'taint appropriate a bit." + +"Jonathan, you 'aint no Englishman, and there's no use pretendin' +that you are. Some day when I have a couple of hours to myself, I'll +explain the whole matter to you. There isn't any cliff, and the house +wants paintin' and looks like thunder. Isn't that reason enough to go +on with? Now, Mr. Maxwell, you come in and make yourself perfectly at +home." + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER II + +GOSSIP + + +That afternoon Maxwell occupied himself in unpacking his trunks and +arranging his room. As the finishing touch, he drew out of a leather +case an exquisite miniature of a beautiful girl, which he placed on +the mantelpiece, and at which he gazed for a long time with a wistful +light in his fine gray eyes. Then he threw himself on the lounge, and +pulling a letter from his inner pocket, read: + +"Don't worry about expenses, dear. Six hundred is quite enough for +two; we shall be passing rich! You must remember that, although I am a +'college girl,' I am not a helpless, extravagant creature, and I know +how to economize. I am sure we shall be able to make both ends meet. +With a small house, rent free, a bit of ground for a vegetable garden, +and plenty of fresh air, we can accomplish almost anything, and be +supremely happy together. And then, when you win advancement, as of +course you will very soon, we shall appreciate the comforts all the +more from the fact that we were obliged to live the simple life for a +while. + +"You can't possibly imagine how I miss you, sweetheart. Do write as +soon as possible and tell me all about Durford. If I could just have +one glimpse of you in your new quarters--but that would only be a +wretched aggravation; so I keep saying to myself 'Some day, some day,' +and try to be patient. God bless you and good-by." + + * * * * * + +Donald folded the letter carefully, kissed it, and tucked it away in +his pocket. Clasping his hands behind his head, he gazed at the +ceiling. + +"I wonder if I'd better tell Mrs. Burke about Betty. I don't care to +pass myself off as a free man in a parish like this. And yet, after +all, it's none of their business at present. I think I'd better wait +and find out if there's any possibility of making her happy here." + +There was a knock at the door. + +"Talk of angels," murmured Maxwell, and hurriedly returned the +miniature to its case before opening the door to Mrs. Burke, who came +to offer assistance. + +"Don't bother to fuss for me," she said as he hastened to remove some +books and clothes from a chair, so that she might sit down. "I only +came up for a moment to see if there was anything I could do. Think +you can make yourself pretty comfortable here? I call this room 'the +prophet's chamber,' you know, because it's where I always put the +visitin' parsons." + +"They're lucky," he replied. "This room is just delightful with that +jolly old fireplace, its big dormer windows, and the view over the +river and the hills beyond: I shall be very comfortable." + +"Well, I hope so. You know I don't think any livin'-room is complete +without a fireplace. Next to an old friend, a bright wood fire's the +best thing I know to keep one from getting lonesome." + +"Yes--that and a good cigar." + +"Well, I haven't smoked in some time now," Mrs. Burke replied, +smiling, "so I can't say. What a lot of things you've got!" + +"Yes, more than I thought I had." + +"I do love to see a man tryin' to put things to rights. He never knows +where anything belongs. What an awful lot of books you've got! I +suppose you're just chuck full of learnin', clean up to your back +teeth; but we won't any of us know the difference. Most city parsons +preach about things that are ten miles over the heads of us country +people. You can't imagine how little thinkin' most of us do up here. +We're more troubled with potato bugs than we are with doubts; and +you'll have to learn a lot about us before you really get down to +business, I guess." + +"Yes, I expect to learn more from you than you will from me. That's +one of the reasons why I wanted to come so far out in the country." + +"Hm! I hope you won't be disappointed." + +Mrs. Burke adjusted her glasses and gazed interestedly about the room +at some pictures and decorations which Maxwell had placed in position, +and inquired: + +"Who is the plaster lady and gentleman standin' on the mantelpiece?" + +"The Venus de Milo, and the Hermes of Praxiteles." + +"Well, you know, I just can't help preferrin' ladies and gentlemen +with arms and legs, myself. I suppose it's real cultivated to learn to +like parts of people done in marble. Maybe when I go down to the city +next fall to buy my trousseau, I'll buy a few plasters myself, to make +the house look more cheerful-like." + +Maxwell caught at the word "trousseau," and as Mrs. Burke had spoken +quite seriously he asked: + +"Are you going to be married, Mrs. Burke?" + +"No such thing! But when a handsome young widow like me lives alone, +frisky and sixty-ish, with six lonesome, awkward widowers in the same +school district, you can never tell what might happen any minute; 'In +time of peace prepare for war,' as the paper says." + +Maxwell laughed reassuringly. + +"I don't see why you laugh," Mrs. Burke responded, chuckling to +herself. "'Taint polite to look surprised when a woman says she's +a-goin' to get married. Every woman under ninety-eight has +expectations. While there's life there's hope that some man will make +a fool of himself. But unless I miss my guess, you don't catch me +surrenderin' my independence. As long as I have enough to eat and am +well, I'm contented." + +"You certainly look the picture of health, Mrs. Burke." + +"Oh, yes! as well as could be expected, when I'm just recoverin' from +a visit from Mary Sam." + +"What sort of a visitor is that?" asked Maxwell, laughing. + +"Mary Sam is my sister-in-law. She spends a month with me every year +on her own invitation. She is what you'd call a hardy annual. She is +the most stingy and narrow-minded woman I ever saw. The bark on the +trees hangs in double box-plaits as compared with Mary Sam. But I got +the best of her last year. While I was cleanin' the attic I came +across the red pasteboard sign with 'Scarlet Fever' painted on it, +that the Board of Health put on the house when Nickey had the fever +three years ago. The very next day I was watchin' the 'bus comin' up +Main Street, when I saw Mary Sam's solferino bonnet bobbin' up and +down inside. Before she got to the house, I sneaked out and pinned up +the sign, right by the front door. She got onto the piazza, bag, +baggage, and brown paper bundles, before she caught sight of it. Then +I wish you could have seen her face: I wouldn't have believed so much +could be done with so few features." + +"She didn't linger long?" laughed the parson, who continued arranging +his books while his visitor chatted. + +"Linger? Well, not exactly. She turned tail and run lickety-spindle +back for the 'bus as if she had caught sight of a subscription paper +for foreign missions. I heard Jim Anderson, who drives the 'bus, +snicker as he helped her in again; but he didn't give me away. Jim and +I are good friends. But when she got home she wrote to Sally Ramsdale +to ask how Nickey was; and Sally, not bein' on to the game, wrote back +that there was nothin' the matter with Nickey that she knew of. Then +Mary Sam wrote me the impudentest letter I ever got; and she came +right back, and stayed two months instead of one, just to be mean. But +that sign's done good service since. I've scared off agents and tramps +by the score. I always hang it in the parlor window when I'm away from +home." + +"But suppose your house caught fire while you were away?" + +"Well, I've thought of that; but there's worse things than fire if +your insurance is all right." + +Mrs. Burke relapsed into silence for a while, until Maxwell opened a +box of embroidered stoles, which he spread out on the bed for her +inspection. + +"My! but aren't those beautiful! I never saw the like before. Where +did you get 'em?" + +"They were made by the 'Sisters of St. Paul' in Boston." + +Hepsey gazed at the stoles a long time in silence, handling them +daintily; then she remarked: + +"I used to embroider some myself. Would you like to see some of it?" + +"Certainly, I should be delighted to see it," Donald responded; and +Mrs. Burke went in search of her work. + +Presently she returned and showed Maxwell a sample of her +skill--doubtless intended for a cushion-cover. To be sure it was a bit +angular and impressionistic. Like Browning's poems and Turner's +pictures, it left interesting room for speculation. To begin with, +there was a dear little pink dog in the foreground, having convulsions +on purple grass. In the middle-distance was a lay-figure in orange, +picking scarlet apples from what appeared to be a revolving +clothes-horse blossoming profusely at the ends of each beam. A little +blue brook gurgled merrily up the hill, and disappeared down the other +side only to reappear again as a blue streak in an otherwise +crushed-strawberry sky. A pumpkin sun was disappearing behind emerald +hills, shooting up equidistant yellow rays, like the spokes of a +cart-wheel. Underneath this striking composition was embroidered the +dubious sentiment "There is no place like home." + +Maxwell examined carefully the square of cross-stitch wool embroidery, +biting his lip; while Hepsey watched him narrowly, chuckling quietly +to herself. Then she laughed heartily, and asked: + +"Confess now; don't you think it's beautiful?" + +Donald smiled broadly as he replied: + +"It's really quite wonderful. Did you do it yourself?" + +"To be sure I did, when I was a little girl and we used to work in +wool from samplers, and learn to do alphabets. I'm glad you appreciate +it. If you would like to have me embroider anything for the church, +don't hesitate to ask me." She busied herself examining the stoles +again, and asked: + +"How much did these things cost, if you don't mind my askin'?" + +"I don't know. They were given to me by a friend of mine, when I +graduated from the Seminary." + +"Hm! a friend of yours, eh? She must think an awful lot of you." + +Hepsey gave Donald a sharp glance. + +"I didn't say it was a lady." + +"No, but your eyes and cheeks did. Well, it's none of my business, and +there's no reason that I know of why the Devil should have all the +bright colors, and embroideries, and things. Are you High Church?" + +Maxwell hesitated a moment and replied: + +"What do you mean by 'High Church?'" + +"The last rector we had was awful high." Hepsey smiled with +reminiscent amusement. + +"How so?" + +"We suspected he didn't wear no pants durin' service." + +"How very extraordinary! Is that a symptom of ritualism?" + +"Well, you see he wore a cassock under his surplice, and none of our +parsons had ever done that before. The Senior Warden got real stirred +up about it, and told Mr. Whittimore that our rectors always wore +pants durin' service. Mr. Whittimore pulled up his cassock and showed +the Warden that he had his pants on. The Warden told him it was an +awful relief to his mind, as he considered goin' without pants durin' +service the enterin' wedge for Popish tricks; and if things went on +like that, nobody knew where we would land. Then some of the women got +talkin', and said that the rector practiced celibacy, and that some +one should warn him that the parish wouldn't stand for any more +innovations, and he'd better look out. So one day, Virginia Bascom, +the Senior Warden's daughter, told him what was being said about him. +The parson just laughed at Ginty, and said that celibacy was his +misfortune, not his fault; and that he hoped to overcome it in time. +That puzzled her some, and she came to me and asked what celibacy was. +When I told her it was staying unmarried, like St. Paul--my, but +wasn't she mad, though! You ought to have seen her face. She was so +mortified that she wouldn't speak to me for a week. Well, I guess I've +gossiped enough for now. I must go and make my biscuits for supper. If +I can help you any, just call out." + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER III + +THE SENIOR WARDEN + + +"It's a fine morning, Mr. Maxwell," Mrs. Burke remarked at breakfast +next day, "and I'm goin' to drive down to the village to do some +shopping. Don't you want to go with me and pay your respects to the +Senior Warden? You'll find him in his office. Then I'll meet you +later, and bring you home--dead or alive!" + +Maxwell laughed. "That sounds cheerful, but I should be glad to go." + +"I guess you better, and have it over with. He'll expect it. He's +like royalty: he never calls first; and when he's at home he always +has a flag on a pole in the front yard. If he's out of town for the +day, his man lowers the flag. I generally call when the flag's down. I +wish everybody had a flag; it's mighty convenient." + +The center of Durford's social, commercial and ecclesiastical life was +the village green, a plot of ground on which the boys played ball, and +in the middle of which was the liberty pole and the band-stand. On one +side of the green was a long block of stores, and on the opposite side +a row of churches, side by side, five in number. There was the Meeting +House, in plain gray; "The First Church of Durford," with a Greek +portico in front; "The Central Church," with a box-like tower and a +slender steeple with a gilded rooster perched on top--an edifice which +looked like a cross between a skating rink and a railroad station; and +last of all, the Episcopal Church on the corner--a small, elongated +structure, which might have been a carpenter-shop but for the little +cross which surmounted the front gable, and the pointed tops of the +narrow windows, which were supposed to be "gothic" and to proclaim the +structure to be the House of God. + +Just around the corner was a little tumble-down house known as "The +Rectory." The tall grass and the lowered shades indicated that it had +been unoccupied for some time. Mrs. Burke called Maxwell's attention +to it. + +"I suppose you'll be living there some day--if you stay here long +enough; though of course you can't keep house there alone. The place +needs a lot of over-haulin'. Nickey says there's six feet of plaster +off the parlor ceilin', and the cellar gets full of water when it +rains; but I guess we can fix it up when the time comes. That's your +cathedral, on the corner. You see, we have five churches, when we +really need only one; and so we have to scrap for each other's +converts, to keep up the interest. We feed 'em on sandwiches, pickles +and coffee every now and then, to make 'em come to church. Yes, +preachin' and pickles, sandwiches and salvation, seem to run in the +same class, these days." + +When they arrived in front of the block, Mrs. Burke hitched her horse, +and left Maxwell to his own devices. He proceeded to hunt up the post +office; and as the mail was not yet distributed, he had to wait some +time, conscious of the fact that he was the center of interest to the +crowd assembled in the room. Finally, when he gained access to the +delivery window, he was greeted by a smile from the postmistress, a +woman of uncertain age, who remarked as she handed him his letters: + +"Good morning, Mr. Maxwell. Glad to meet you. I'm a Presbyterian +myself; but I have always made it a point to be nice to everybody. You +seem to have quite a good many correspondents, and I presume you'll be +wantin' a lock box. It's so convenient. You must feel lonesome in a +strange place. Drop in and see mother some day. She's got curvature of +the spine, but no religious prejudices. She'll be right glad to see +you, I'm sure, even though she's not 'Piscopal." + +Maxwell thanked her, and inquired the way to the Senior Warden's +office, to which she directed him. + +Three doors below the post office was a hallway and a flight of stairs +leading up to Mr. Bascom's sanctum. As he ascended, Maxwell bethought +him of the Bishop's hint that this was the main stronghold for the +exercise of his strategy. The Senior Warden, for some reason or other, +had persistently quarreled with the clergy, or crossed them. What was +the secret of his antagonism? Would he be predisposed in Maxwell's +favor, or prejudiced against him? He would soon discover--and he +decided to let Bascom do most of the talking. Reaching the first +landing, Donald knocked on a door the upper panel of which was filled +with glass, painted white. On the glass in large black letters was +the name: "SYLVESTER BASCOM." + +The Senior Warden sat behind a table, covered with musty books and a +litter of letters and papers. In his prime he had been a small man; +and now, well past middle age, he looked as if he had shrunk until he +was at least five sizes too small for his skin, which was sallow and +loose. There was a suspicious look in his deep-set eyes, which made +his hooked nose all the more aggressive. He was bald, except for a few +stray locks of gray hair which were brushed up from his ears over the +top of his head, and evidently fastened down by some gluey cosmetic. +He frowned severely as Maxwell entered, but extended a shriveled, bony +hand, and pointed to a chair. Then placing the tips of his fingers +together in front of his chest, he gazed at Donald as if he were the +prisoner at the bar, and began without any preliminary welcome: + +"So you are the young man who is to take charge of the church. It is +always difficult for a city-bred man to adjust himself to the needs +and manners of a country parish. Very difficult, Mr. Maxwell--very +difficult." + +Maxwell smiled as he replied: + +"Yes, but that is a fault which time will remedy." + +"Doubtless. Time has a way of remedying most things. But in the +meantime--in the meantime, lack of tact, self-assertiveness, +indiscretion, on the part of a clergyman may do much harm--much +harm!" + +Mr. Maxwell colored slightly as he laughed and replied: + +"I should imagine that you have had rather a 'mean time,' from the way +you speak. Your impressions of the clergy seem to be painful." + +"Well," the lawyer continued sententiously, "we have had all sorts and +conditions of men, as the Prayer Book says; and the result has not +_always_ been satisfactory--_not_ always satisfactory. But I was not +consulted." + +To this, Maxwell, who was somewhat nettled, replied: + +"I suppose that in any case the responsibility for the success of a +parish must be somewhat divided between the parson and the people. I +am sure I may count on your assistance." + +"Oh yes; oh yes; of course. I shall be very glad to advise you in any +way I can. Prevention is better than cure: don't hesitate to come to +me for suggestions. You will doubtless be anxious to follow in the +good old ways, and avoid extremes. I am a firm believer in expediency. +Though I was not consulted in the present appointment, I may say that +what we need is a man of moderate views who can adjust himself to +circumstances. Tact, that is the great thing in life. I am a firm +believer in tact. Our resources are limited; and a clergyman should be +a self-denying man of God, contented with plain living and high +thinking. No man can succeed in a country parish who seeks the loaves +and fishes of the worldling. Durford is not a metropolis; we do not +emulate city ways." + +"No, I should imagine not," Maxwell answered. + +The parson gathered that the Senior Warden felt slighted that he had +not been asked by the Bishop to name his appointee; and that if he had +bethought himself to sprinkle a little hay-seed on his clothing, his +reception might have been more cordial. + +At this point the door opened and a woman, hovering somewhere between +twenty-five and forty, dressed in rather youthful and pronounced +attire, entered, and seeing Donald exclaimed: + +"Oh, papa, I did not know that you were busy with a client. Do excuse +me." + +Then, observing the clerical attire of the "client," she came forward, +and extending her hand to Donald, exclaimed with a coy, insinuating +smile: + +"I am sure that you must be Mr. Maxwell. I am so glad to see you. I +hope I am not interrupting professional confidences." + +"Not in the least," Donald replied, as he placed a chair for her. "I +am very glad to have the pleasure of meeting you, Miss Bascom." + +"I heard last night that you had arrived, Mr. Maxwell; and I am sure +that it is very good of you to come and see papa so soon. I hope to +see you at our house before long. You know that we are in the habit of +seeing a good deal of the rector, because--you will excuse my +frankness--because there are so few people of culture and refinement +in this town to make it pleasant for him." + +"I am sure that you are very kind," Donald replied. Miss Bascom had +adjusted her tortoise-shell lorgnette, and was surveying Donald from +head to foot. + +"Is your wife with you?" she inquired, as one who would say: "Tell me +no lies!" + +"No, I am not married." + +At once she was one radiant smile of welcome: + +"Papa, we must do all we can to make Mr. Maxwell feel at home at +Willow Bluff--so that he will not get lonesome and desert us," she +added genially. + +"You're very kind." + +"You must come and dine with us very soon and see our place for +yourself. You are staying with Mrs. Burke, I understand." + +"Yes." + +"How does she impress you?" + +"I hardly know her well enough to form any definite opinion of her, +though she has been kindness itself to me." + +"Yes, she has a sharp tongue, but a kind heart; and she does a great +deal of good in the village; but, poor soul! she has no sense of +humor--none whatever. Then of course she is not in society, you know. +You will find, Mr. Maxwell, that social lines are very carefully drawn +in this town; there are so many grades, and one has to be careful, you +know." + +"Is it so! How many people are there in the town?" + +"Possibly eight or nine hundred." + +"And how many of them are 'in society'?" + +"Oh, I should imagine not more than twenty or thirty." + +"They must be very select." + +"Oh, we are; quite so." + +"Don't you ever get tired of seeing the same twenty or thirty all the +time? I'm afraid I am sufficiently vulgar to like a change, once in a +while--somebody real common, you know." + +Miss Bascom raised her lorgnette in pained surprise and gazed at +Donald curiously; then she sighed and tapping her fingers with her +glasses replied: + +"But one has to consider the social responsibilities of one's +position, you know. Many of the village people are well enough in +their way, really quite amusing as individuals; but one cannot alter +social distinctions." + +"I see," replied Donald, non-committally. + +Virginia was beginning to think that the new rector was rather dull in +his perceptions, rather _gauche_, but, deciding to take a charitable +view, she held out her hand with a beaming smile as she said: + +"Remember, you are to make Willow Bluff one of your homes. We shall +always be charmed to see you." + +When, after their respective shoppings were completed, Maxwell +rejoined Mrs. Burke, and they had started on a brisk trot towards +home, she remarked: + +"So you have had a visit with the Senior Warden." + +"Yes, and with Miss Bascom. She came into the office while I was +there." + +"Hm! Well! She's one of your flock!" + +"Would you call Miss Bascom one of my lambs?" asked Donald +mischievously. + +"Oh, that depends on where you draw the line. Don't you think she's +handsome?" + +"I can hardly say. What do you think about it?" + +"Oh, I don't know. When she's well dressed she has a sort of style +about her; but isn't it merciful that we none of us know how we really +do look? If we did, we wouldn't risk bein' alone with ourselves five +minutes without a gun." + +"Is that one for Miss Bascom?" + +"No, I ought not to say a word against Virginia Bascom. She's a good +sort accordin' to her lights; and then too, she is a disconnection of +mine by marriage--once removed." + +"How do you calculate that relationship?" + +"Oh, her mother's brother married my sister. She suspected that he was +guilty of incompatibility--and she proved it, and got a divorce. If +that don't make a disconnection of Ginty Bascom, then I don't know +what does. Virginia was born in Boston, though she was brought up +here. It must be terrible to be born in Boston, and have to live up to +it, when you spend your whole life in a place like Durford. But Ginty +does her very best, though occasionally she forgets." + +"You can hardly blame her for that. Memory is tricky, and Boston and +Durford are about as unlike as two places well could be." + +"Oh, no; I don't blame her. Once she formed a club for woman's +suffrage. She set out to 'form my mind'--as if my mind wasn't pretty +thoroughly formed at this time of day--and get me to protest against +the tyranny of the male sex. I didn't see that the male sex was +troublin' her much; but I signed a petition she got up to send to the +Governor or somebody, asking for the right to vote. There was an +opposition society that didn't want the ballot, and they got up +another petition." + +"And you signed that too, I expect," laughed Donald. + +"Sure thing, I did. I'm not narrow-minded, and I like to be obliging. +Then she tried what she called slummin', which, as near as I can see, +means walkin' in where you 'aint wanted, because people are poorer +than you are, and leavin' little tracts that nobody reads, and currant +jelly that nobody eats, and clothes that nobody can wear. But an +Irishman shied a cabbage at her head while she was tryin' to convince +him that the bath-tub wasn't really a coal bin, and that his mental +attitude was hindside before. + +"Then she got to be a Theosophist, and used to sit in her room +upstairs projecting her astral body out of the window into the back +yard, and pulling it in again like a ball on a rubber string--just for +practice, you know. But that attack didn't last long." + +"She seems to be a very versatile young woman; but she doesn't stick +to one thing very long." + +"A rolling stone gathers no moss, you know," Mrs. Burke replied. +"That's one of the advantages of bein' a rolling stone. It must be +awful to get mossy; and there isn't any moss on Virginia Bascom, +whatever faults she may have--not a moss." + +For a moment Mrs. Burke was silent, and then she began: + +"Once Virginia got to climbin' her family tree, to find out where her +ancestors came from. She thought that possibly they might be noblemen. +But I guess there wasn't very much doin' up the tree until she got +down to New York, and paid a man to tell her. She brought back an +illuminated coat of arms with a lion rampantin' on top; but she was +the same old Virginia still. What do I care about my ancestors! It +doesn't make no difference to me. I'm just myself anyway, no matter +how you figure; and I'm a lot more worried about where I'm goin' to, +than where I came from. Virginia's got a book called 'Who's Who,' that +she's always studying. But the only thing that matters, it seems to +me, is Who's What." + +"I wonder she hasn't married," remarked Donald, innocently. + +"Ah, that's the trouble. She's like a thousand others without no +special occupation in life. She's wastin' a lot of bottled up interest +and sympathy on foolish things. If she'd married and had seven babies, +they would have seen to it that she didn't make a fool of herself. +However, it isn't her fault. She's volunteered to act as Deaconess to +every unmarried parson we've had; and it's a miracle of wonders one of +'em didn't succumb; parsons are such--oh, do excuse me! I mean so +injudicious on the subject of matrimony." + +"But, Mrs. Burke, don't you think a clergyman ought to be a married +man?" + +"Well, to tell you the truth, t'aint me that's been doin' the thinkin' +along those lines, for most of the parsons we've had. I've been more +of a first aid to the injured, in the matrimonial troubles of our +parish, and the Lord only knows when love-making has got as far as +actual injury to the parties engaged,--well thinkin' 'aint much use. +But there's Ginty for example. She's been worryin' herself thin for +the last five years, doin' matrimonial equations for the clergy. She's +a firm believer in the virtue of patience, and if the Lord only keeps +on sendin' us unmarried rectors, Ginty is goin' to have her day. It's +just naturally bound to come. I 'aint sure whether she's got a right +to be still runnin' with the lambs or not, but that don't matter +much,--old maids will rush in where angels fear to tread." + +Maxwell smiled. "Old maids, and old bachelors, are pretty much alike. +I know a few of the latter, that no woman on earth could make into +regular human beings." + +"Oh, yes; old bachelors aren't the nicest thing the Lord ever made. +Most of 'em are mighty selfish critters, take 'em as they run; and a +man that's never had a real great love in his life doesn't know what +life is." + +"That's quite true," Donald responded, with such warmth that Mrs. +Burke glanced at him suspiciously, and changed her tune, as she +continued: + +"Seems to me a parson, or any other man, is very foolish to marry +before he can support a wife comfortably, and lay by somethin' for a +rainy day, though. The last rector had five babies and seventeen cents +to feed 'em with. Yes, there were little olive branches on all four +sides of the table, and under the table too. The Whittimores seemed to +have their quiver full of 'em, as the psalmist says. Mrs. Whittimore +used to say to me, 'The Lord will provide,'--just to keep her courage +up, poor thing! Well, I suppose the Lord did provide; but I had to do +a lot of hustlin', just the same. No sir, if a parson marries, he +better find a woman who has outgrown her short skirts. Young things +dyin' to be martyrs with a good lookin' young parson, are a drug in +the market. Better go slow." And Hepsey looked up at him +significantly. + +"Then you think it would be inadvisable to propose to Miss Virginia +immediately, do you?" Donald asked, as if humbly seeking guidance. + +"Well, there doesn't seem to be any immediate hurry about it. Now if +you'll open the gate to Thunder Cliff, I'll be much obliged to you. If +I don't get my mind on something less romantic than Virginia, we shall +have to dine off airy fancies--and that won't suit Nickey, for one." + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER IV + +MILKING + + +Betty, my love: + +I can imagine that just about this time you have finished your dinner, +and are enjoying your after-dinner coffee in the library with your +father. I would give all that I possess, though heaven knows that is +mighty little, to be with you and get you to talk to me, and let me +tell you all that has happened since I left you. But instead of that I +am alone in my room with your picture on the table while I write, and +it is the middle of the evening with us on the farm. I have a bright +wood fire on the hearth, as it's a bit chilly to-night. + +To-day I have almost completed my first round of parish visits, and +the experience has been a revelation to me of the mixture of pathetic +narrowness, hardship, and self-denial of the people up here in the +mountains. One minute I am all out of patience with their stupidity, +and the next I am touched to the heart by their patience with +unendurable conditions, and their generosity and kindness to each +other. I hope to be able to adjust my mental equilibrium to the +situation before long and to learn to understand them better; I find +that a country parson must be a man of many accomplishments, and that +I have to learn my profession all over again. Yesterday I called on a +poor shriveled old woman who, I was told, was in trouble. When I asked +her what I could do for her, she brightened up and informed me that +her apple trees were full of worms! So there was nothing for it but to +take off my coat and vest, roll up my sleeves, and burn out the worms. +I must have destroyed about a bushel, more or less. It took most of +the afternoon; but she was pleased, and appeared in church this +morning for the first time in six years. + +I have learned a lot about the rotation of crops, helped to dig a +well, and attended a barn dance. I have eaten pickles by the score at +teas given in my honor, rather than offend the hostess; and have had +horrible nights in consequence. Every morning Nickey and I take the +milk down to the creamery before breakfast. I am so tanned that you +would hardly recognize me; and I must confess with shame that I am +never more happy than when I am able to put on my soiled working +clothes and do manual labor on the farm. I suppose it is the contrast +to my former life, and the fact that it takes my thoughts away from +the longing for you. + +The men up here seem to think I know mighty little. It's very +humiliating! But since they discovered that I am neither +"'ristocratic" nor "pious," they seem to be friendly enough. I often +find myself wondering if much of the work in the seminary wasn't a +sheer waste of time, when I am brought up against the practical, +commonplace, everyday life of these people. My friend Mrs. Burke has a +fund of common sense and worldly wisdom which is worth more than any +Ph.D. or S.T.D. represents, to help a man to meet the hard facts of +life successfully; and she has been very nice and considerate in +making suggestions to me--always wrapped up in a humor all her own. I +have found it practically impossible to get into touch with the +farmers of the neighborhood without becoming more or less of a farmer +myself, and learning by actual experience what the life is like. One +man was so openly supercilious when he found out that I did not know +how to milk, that Mrs. Burke, who is nothing if not practical, offered +to show me. + +I have acquired a suit of overalls, and a wide-brimmed straw hat; and +so, attiring myself in the most orthodox fashion, Mrs. Burke and I +went to the shed yesterday where Louise, the Jersey cow, abides, and I +took my first lesson in milking. Mrs. Burke carefully explained to me +the _modus operandi_ I was to pursue; and so, taking the tin pail +between my knees, I seated myself on the three-legged stool by the +side of Louise, and timidly began operations. She seemed to know by +some bovine instinct that I was a tenderfoot; and although I followed +Mrs. Burke's instructions to the letter, no milk put in its +appearance. Mrs. Burke was highly amused at my perplexity. Finally she +remarked: + +"You've got to introduce yourself, and get Louise's confidence before +she'll give down. She thinks that you are too familiar on a short +acquaintance. Now talk to her a bit, and be friendly." + +This was somewhat of a poser, as Louise and I really have not much in +common, and I was at a loss where to begin. But something had to be +done, and so I made a venture and remarked: + +"Louise, the wind is in the south; and if it doesn't change, we shall +certainly have rain within three days." + +This did not seem to have the desired effect. In fact, she ignored my +remark in the most contemptuous fashion. Then Mrs. Burke suggested: + +"Get up, and come round where she can see you. No lady wants to be +talked to by a gentleman that's out of sight." + +So I got up and went around by her head, fed her some clover, patted +her on the neck, rubbed her nose, and began a little mild, persuasive +appeal: + +"Louise, I am really a man of irreproachable character. I am a son of +the Revolution; I held three scholarships in Harvard; and I graduated +second in my class at the General Sem. Furthermore, I'm not at all +accustomed to being snubbed by ladies. Can't you make up your mind to +be obliging?" + +Louise sniffed at me inquiringly, gazing at me with large-eyed +curiosity. Then as if in token that she had come to a favorable +conclusion, she ran out her tongue and licked my hand. When I resumed +operations, the milk poured into the pail, and Mrs. Burke was just +congratulating me on my complete success, when, by some accident the +stool slipped, and I fell over backwards, and the whole contents of +the pail was poured on the ground. My! but wasn't I disgusted? I +thought Mrs. Burke would never stop laughing at me; but she was good +enough not to allude to the loss of the milk! + +Some day when we are married, and you come up here, I will take you +out and introduce you to Louise, and she will fall in love with you on +the spot. + +My most difficult task is my Senior Warden--and it looks as if he +_would not_ make friends, do what I will to "qualify" according to his +own expressed notions of what a country parson should be. But I rather +suspect that he likes to keep the scepter in his own hands, while the +clergy do his bidding. But that won't do for me. + +So you see the life up here is interesting from its very novelty, +though I do get horribly lonesome, sometimes. If I had not pledged +myself to the Bishop to stay and work the parish together into +something like an organization, I am afraid I should be tempted to cut +and run--back to you, sweetheart. + +And there was a post script: + +"I've not said half enough of how much Mrs. Burke's wisdom has taught +and helped me. She is a shrewd observer of human motives, and I +expect she has had a struggle to keep the sweetness of her nature at +the top. She is, naturally, a capable, dominating character; and often +I watch how she forces herself to let persuasiveness take precedence +of combativeness. Her acquired philosophy, as applied to herself and +others, is summed up in a saying she let drop the other day, modified +to suit her needs: 'More flies are caught with molasses than with +vinegar--but keep some vinegar by you!' _Verb. Sap.!_" + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER V + +THE MINIATURE + + +It happened that the Reverend Donald Maxwell committed a careless +indiscretion. When he went to his room to prepare for supper, he found +that he had left the miniature of a certain young lady on the +mantelpiece, having forgotten to return it to its hiding-place the +night before. He quickly placed it in its covering and locked it up in +his desk, but not without many misgivings at the thought that Mrs. +Burke had probably discovered it when she put his room in order. + +He was quite right in his surmise, for just as she was about to leave +the room she had caught sight of the picture, and, after examining it +carefully, she had exclaimed to herself: + +"Hm! Hm! So that's the young woman, is it? In a gilded frame set with +real glass rubies and turquoises. I guessed those letters couldn't +come from his mother. She wouldn't write to him every blessed day; +she'd take a day off now and then, just to rest up a bit. Well, well, +well! So this is what you've been dreaming about; and a mighty good +thing too--only the sooner it's known the better. But I suppose I'll +have to wait for his reverence to inform me officially, and then I'll +have to look mighty surprised! She's got a good face, anyway; but he +ought to wait awhile. Poor soul! she'd just die of loneliness up here. +Well, I suppose it'll be my business to look after her, and I reckon +I'd best take time by the fetlock, and get the rectory in order. It +isn't fit for rats to live in now." + +Mrs. Burke's discovery haunted her all day long, and absorbed her +thoughts when she went to bed. If Maxwell was really engaged to be +married, she did not see why he did not announce the fact, and have it +over with. She had to repeat her prayers three times before she could +keep the girl in the gilt frame out of them; and she solved the +problem by praying that she might not make a fool of herself. + +The next morning she went over to Jonathan Jackson's house to see what +her friend and neighbor, the Junior Warden, would say about the +matter. He could be trusted to keep silent and assist her to carry out +some provisional plans. She knew exactly what she wished and what she +intended to do; but she imagined that she wanted the pleasure of +hearing some one tell her that she was exactly right. + +Jonathan Jackson was precisely the person to satisfy the demand, as +his deceased wife had never allowed him to have any opinion for more +than fifteen minutes at a time--if it differed from hers; and when she +had made a pretense of consulting him, he had learned by long +experience to hesitate for a moment, look judicially wise, and then +repeat her suggestions as nearly as he could remember them. So +Jonathan made a most excellent friend and neighbor, when any crisis or +emergency called for an expert opinion. + +Mrs. Burke had been an intimate friend of Sarah Jackson, and just +before Mrs. Jackson died she made Hepsey promise that after she was +gone she would keep a friendly eye on Jonathan, and see that he did +not get into mischief, or let the house run down, or "live just by +eatin' odds and ends off the pantry shelf any old way." Mrs. Jackson +entertained no illusions in regard to her husband, and she trusted +Hepsey implicitly. So, after Mrs. Jackson's mortal departure, Hepsey +made periodic calls on Jonathan, which always gave him much pleasure +until she became inquisitive about his methods of housekeeping; then +he would grow reticent. + +"Good morning, Jonathan," Hepsey called, as she presented herself at +the woodshed door, where she caught Jonathan mending some of his +underclothes laboriously. + +"Well, I declare," she continued, "I'm blessed if you 'aint sewin' +white buttons on with black thread. Is anybody dead in the family, or +'aint you feelin' well as to your head this mornin'?" + +His voice quavered with mingled embarrassment and resentment as he +replied: + +"What difference does it make, Hepsey? It don't make no difference, as +long as nobody don't see it but me." + +"And why in the name of conscience don't you get a thimble, Jonathan? +The idea of your stickin' the needle in, and then pressin' it against +the chair to make it go through. If that 'aint just like a helpless +man, I wouldn't say." + +[Illustration: "I'M BLESSED IF YOU 'AINT SEWIN' WHITE BUTTONS ON WITH +BLACK THREAD. IS ANYBODY DEAD IN THE FAMILY, OR 'AINT YOU +FEELIN' WELL THIS MORNIN'?"] + +"Well, of course sewin' 'aint just a man's business, anyway; and when +he has just got to do it----" + +"Why don't you let Mary McGuire do it for you? You pay her enough, +certainly, to keep you from becomin' a buttonless orphan." + +Mary McGuire, be it said, was the woman who came in by the day, and +cooked for Jonathan, and intermittently cleaned him out of house and +home. + +"She don't know much about such things," replied Jonathan +confidentially. "I did let her do it for a while; but when my +buttonholes got tore larger, instead of sewin' 'em up, she just put on +a larger button; and I'd be buttonin' my pants with the covers of +saucepans by now, if I'd let her go on." + +"It is curious what helpless critters men are, specially widowers. Now +Jonathan, why don't you lay aside your sewin', and invite me into your +parlor? You aren't a bit polite." + +"Well, come along then, Hepsey; but the parlor aint just in apple-pie +order, as you might say. Things are mussed up a bit." He looked at her +suspiciously. + +When they entered the parlor Mrs. Burke gazed about in a critical sort +of way. + +"Jonathan Jackson, if you don't get married again before long I don't +know what'll become of you," she remarked, as she wrote her name with +the end of her finger in the dust on the center-table. "Why don't you +open the parlor occasionally and let the air in? It smells that musty +in here I feel as if I was attendin' your wife's funeral all over +again." + +"Well, of course you know we never did use the parlor much, 'cept +there was a funeral in the family, or you called, or things like +that." + +"Thank _you_; but even so, you might put things away occasionally, and +not leave them scattered all over the place." + +"What's the use? I never can find anything when it's where it belongs; +but if it's left just where I drop it, I know right where it is when I +want it." + +"That's a man's argument. Sakes alive! The least you could do would be +to shut your bureau drawers." + +"What's the use shuttin' bureau drawers when you've got to open 'em +again 'fore long?" Jonathan asked. "It just makes so much more +trouble; and there's trouble enough in this world, anyway." + +"You wouldn't dare let things go like this when Sarah was livin'." + +"No," Jonathan replied sadly, "but there's some advantages in bein' a +widower. Of course I don't mean no disrespect to Sarah, but opinions +will differ about some things. She'd never let me go up the front +stairs without takin' my boots off, so as not to soil the carpet; and +when she died and the relatives tramped up and down reckless like, I +almost felt as if it was wicked. For a fact, I did." + +"Well, I always told Sarah she was a slave to dust; I believe that +dust worried her a lot more than her conscience, poor soul. I should +think that Mary McGuire would tidy up for you a little bit once in a +while." + +"Well, Mary does the best she knows how. But I like her goin' better +than comin'. The fact is, a man of my age can't live alone always, +Hepsey. It's a change to live this way, till----" + +"Oh, heaven save the mark! I can't stay here talkin' all day; but I'll +tidy up a bit before I go, if you don't mind, Jonathan. You go on with +what you call your sewin'." + +"Go ahead, Hepsey. You can do anything you like," he replied, beaming +upon her. + +Mrs. Burke opened the blinds and windows, shook up the pillows on the +lounge, straightened the furniture, dusted off the chairs and opened +the door to the porch. She made a flying trip to the garden, and +returned with a big bunch of flowers which she placed in a large glass +vase on the mantel. Then she hung Jonathan's dressing gown over the +back of a chair, and put his slippers suggestively near at hand. In a +few moments she had transformed the whole appearance of the room, +giving it a look of homelike coziness which had long been foreign to +it. + +"There now, Jonathan! That's better, isn't it?" + +Jonathan sighed profoundly as he replied: + +"It certainly is, Hepsey; it certainly is. I wonder why a man can't do +that kind of thing like a woman can? He knows somethin's wrong, but he +can't tell what it is." + +Hepsey had almost forgotten her errand; but now that her work was done +it came back to her with sudden force; so, puckering up her lips and +scowling severely at the carpet, she began: + +"The fact is, Jonathan, I didn't come over here to dust the parlor or +to jolly you. I've come to have a confidential talk with you about a +matter of great importance." + +"What is it, Hepsey?" + +"Matrimony." + +Jonathan started eagerly, and colored with self-conscious +embarrassment; and after clearing his throat, nervously inquired: + +"Did you think of contemplatin' matrimony again, Hepsey?--though this +'aint leap year." + +"I, contemplate matrimony? Oh, land of Gideon, _no_. It's about some +one else. Don't get scared. I'm no kidnapper!" + +"Well, who is it, then?" Jonathan inquired, with a touch of +disappointment. + +"My adopted son." + +"You don't say! I've heard rumors about Maxwell and Virginia Bascom; +but I didn't take no stock in 'em, knowin' Virginia." + +"Virginia hasn't nothin' to do with it." + +"Well, who has then, for land's sake!" + +"I don't know the girl's name; but I saw her picture on his +mantelpiece yesterday mornin', and I've had my suspicions for some +time." + +"Well, I suppose his marryin' 'aint none of our business anyway, be +it?" + +"Yes, it is our business; if he's goin' to get married, the rectory's +got to be fixed over a whole lot 'fore it's fit to live in. You know +the Senior Warden won't lift his finger, and you've got to help me do +it." + +Jonathan sighed profoundly, knowing from past experience that Hepsey's +word carried more weight than all the vestry. + +"I suppose I have, if you say so, Hepsey." + +"Yes sir, you've got to help me do it. No decent girl is goin' into +that house as it is, with my consent. It's the worst old rat-trap I +ever saw. I've got the key, and I'm goin' through it this afternoon, +and then I'm goin' to plan what ought to be done." + +"But it seems to me you're venturin' some. You don't _know_ they're +goin' to be married." + +"No, but all the symptoms point that way, and we've got to be prepared +for it." + +"But the people round town seem to think that Virginia has a first +mortgage on the rector already." + +"No doubt _she_ thinks she has; but it 'aint true. He's made a +blunder, though, not announcin' his engagement, and I'm goin' to tell +him so the first chance I get. I don't see why he should air his +private affairs all over the town, but if he don't announce his +engagement before long, Virginia Bascom'll make an awful row when he +does." + +"Yes, and to the best of my knowledge and belief this'll be her fifth +row." + +"Well, you meet me at the rectory at two o'clock sharp." + +"But we ought to consult the vestry first," the Junior Warden +cautioned her. + +"What for, I'd like to know?" + +"'Cause they are the trustees of the property." + +"Then why don't they 'tend to the property? The vestry are a lot +of----" + +"Sh! Hepsey, be careful. I'll be there, I'll be there!" + +Mrs. Burke rose and started for the door; but Jonathan called out to +her: + +"Hepsey, can't you stay to dinner? I'd like awful well to have you. It +would seem so nice and homelike to see you sittin' opposite me at the +table." + +"Am I to consider this a proposal of marriage, Jonathan?" + +"Well, I hadn't thought of it in that light; but if _you_ would, I'd +be mighty thankful." + +But Hepsey was beating her retreat. + +Jonathan stood for a minute or two in the middle of the room and +looked very sober. Slowly he took off his coat and put on his dressing +gown. Then he sat down, and cautiously put his feet in another chair. +Next he lighted a cigar--gazing about the room as if his late wife +might appear at any moment as an avenging deity, and drag him into the +kitchen where he belonged. But nothing happened, and he began to feel +a realization of his independence. He sat and thought for a long time, +and a mighty hunger of the heart overwhelmed him. Before he knew it, a +tear or two had fallen on the immaculate carpet; and then, suddenly +recollecting himself, he stood up, saying to himself--such is the +consistency of man: + +"Sarah was a good soul accordin' to her lights; but she's dead, and I +must confess I'm powerful reconciled. Hepsey Burke's different. I +wonder if----" + +But he put he thought away from him with a "get thee behind me" +abruptness, and putting on his coat, went out to water the stock. + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER VI + +THE MISSIONARY TEA + + +"Hm!" Mrs. Burke remarked to Maxwell abruptly one day during supper. +"We haven't had a missionary tea since you came, and I think it's high +time we did." + +"What sort of a missionary tea do you mean?" the parson inquired. + +"Well," Mrs. Burke responded, "our missionary teas combine different +attractions. We get together and look over each other's clothes; +that's the first thing; then some one reads a paper reportin' how +things is goin' in Zanzibar, or what's doin' in Timbuctoo. Then we +look over the old clothes sent in for missionaries, mend 'em up, and +get 'em ready to send off. Then we have tea and cake. I've had my +misgivin' for some time that perhaps we cared more for the tea and +cake than we did for the heathen; but of course I put such a wicked +thought aside. If you value your reputation for piety, don't you ever +speak of a missionary tea here except in a whisper." + +"But I suppose the tea helps to get people together and be more +sociable?" + +"Certainly. The next best thing to religion is a cup of strong tea and +a frosted cake, to make us country people friends. Both combined can't +be beat. But you ought to see the things that have been sent in this +last week for the missionary box. There's a smoking jacket, two pairs +of golf-trousers, several pairs of mismated gloves, a wonderful lot of +undarned stockings, bonnets and underclothes to burn, two jackets and +a bathin' suit. I wonder what people think missionaries are doin' most +of the time!" + +On the day appointed for the missionary tea the ladies were to +assemble at Thunder Cliff at four o'clock; and when Maxwell came home, +before the advent of the first guest, he seemed somewhat depressed; +and Mrs. Burke inquired: + +"Been makin' calls on your parishioners?" + +"Yes, I have made a few visits." + +"Now you must look more cheerful, or somebody'll suspect that you +don't always find parish calls the joy of your life." + +"It's so difficult to find subjects of conversation that they are +interested in. I simply couldn't draw out Mrs. Snodgrass, for +instance." + +"Well, when you've lived in the country as long as I have, you'll find +that the one unfailin' subject of interest is symptoms--mostly +dyspepsy and liver complaint. If you had known enough to have started +right with Elmira Snodgrass, she would have thawed out at once. Elmira +is always lookin' for trouble as the sparks fly upwards, or +thereabouts. She'd crawl through a barbed wire fence if she couldn't +get at it any other way. She always chews a pill on principle, and +then she calls it a dispensation of Providence, and wonders why she +was ever born to be tormented." + +"In that case," laughed Maxwell, "I'd better get some medical books +and read up on symptoms. By the by, is there any particular program +for this missionary meeting, Mrs. Burke?" + +"Yes, Virginia Bascom's goin' to read a paper called 'The Christian +Mother as a Missionary in her own Household.' To be sure, Ginty's no +Christian Mother, or any other kind of a mother; but she's as full of +enthusiasm as a shad is of bones. She'd bring up any child while you +wait, and not charge a cent. There goes the bell, so please excuse +me." + +The guests were received by Mrs. Burke. Miss Bascom entered the parlor +with a portentous bundle of manuscript under her arm, and greeted +Donald with a radiant smile. Pulling a pansy from a bunch in her +dress, she adjusted it in his buttonhole with the happy shyness of a +young kitten chasing its tail. After the others had assembled, they +formed a circle to inspect the clothing which had been sent in. There +was a general buzz of conversation. + +As they were busily going through the garments, Virginia remarked, +"Are all these things to go to the missionaries at Tien Tsin?" and she +adjusted her lorgnette to inspect the heap. + +"Yes," Mrs. Burke responded wearily, "and I hope they'll get what +comfort they can out of 'em." + +"You don't seem to be very appreciative, Mrs. Burke," Virginia +reproved. + +"Well, I suppose I ought to be satisfied," Hepsey replied. "But it +does seem as if most people give to the Lord what they can't use for +themselves any longer--as they would to a poor relation that's worthy, +but not to be coddled by too much charity." + +"I think these things are quite nice enough for the missionaries," +Virginia retorted. "They are thankful for anything." + +"Yes, I know," Mrs. Burke replied calmly. "Missionaries and their +families have no business to have any feelings that can't be satisfied +with second-hand clothes, and no end of good advice on how to spend +five cents freely but not extravagantly." + +"But don't you believe in sending them useful things?" Virginia asked +loftily. + +"So I do; but I'd hate that word 'useful' if I was a missionary's +wife." + +"Might I inquire," asked Miss Bascom meekly, "what you would send?" + +"Certainly! I'd send a twenty-five-cent scent bag, made of silk and +filled with patchouli-powder," said Hepsey, squarely. + +"Well," Virginia added devoutly, "satchet bags may be well enough in +their place; but they won't feed missionaries, or clothe them, or save +souls, you know, Mrs. Burke." + +"Did anybody say they would?" Mrs. Burke inquired. "I shouldn't +particularly care to see missionaries clothed in sachet bags myself; +the smell might drive the heathen to desperation. But do we always +limit our spending money to necessary clothes and food? The truth is, +we all of us spend anything we like as long as it goes on our backs, +or down our throats; but the moment it comes to supportin' +missionaries we think 'em worldly and graspin' if they show any +ambition beyond second-hand clothes." + +"Do you live up to your preachin', Mrs. Burke?" a little sallow-faced +woman inquired from a dark corner of the room. + +"Oh, no; it hits me just as hard as anybody else, as Martin Luther +said. But I've got a proposition to make: if you'll take these things +you brought, back with you, and wear 'em for a week just as they are, +and play you're the missionaries, I'll take back all I've said." + +As, however, there was no response to this challenge, the box was +packed, and the cover nailed down. + +(It is perhaps no proper part of this story to add, that its opening +on the other side of the world was attended by the welcome and +surprising fragrance of patchouli, emanating from a little silk sachet +secreted among the more workaday gifts.) + +The ladies then adjourned to the front piazza, where the supper was +served. + +When the dishes had been cleared away, the guests adjusted their +chairs and assumed attitudes of expectant attention while Virginia +stood up and shyly unrolled her manuscript, with a placid, +self-conscious smile on her countenance. She apologized for her youth +and inexperience, with a moving glance towards her pastor, and then +got down to business. She began with the original and striking remark +that it was the chief glory and function of woman to be a home-maker. +She continued with something to the effect that the woman who forms +the character of her children in the sanctity of the home-life rules +the destinies of the world. Then she made a fetching allusion to the +"Mother of the Gracchi," and said something about jewels. Nobody knew +who the "Gracchi" were, but they supposed that they must be some +relatives of Virginia's who lived in Boston. + +She asserted that the modern methods of bringing up children were all +wrong. She drew a striking picture of the ideal home in which children +always stood modestly and reverently by their parents' chairs, +consumed with anxiety to be of some service to their elders. They were +always to be immaculately neat in their attire, and gentle in their +ways. The use of slang was quite beneath them. + +These ideal children were always to spend their evenings at home in +the perusal of instructive books, and the pursuit of useful knowledge. +Then, when half-past seven arrived, they were to rise spontaneously +and promptly, and bid their parents an affectionate good-night, and +retire to their rooms, where, having said their prayers and recited +the golden text, they were to get into bed. + +Portions of Virginia's essay were quite moving. Speaking of the +rewards which good mothers reap, in the virtues and graces of their +dutiful offspring, she said: + +"What mother does not feel a thrill of exquisite rapture as she fondly +gazes into the depths of her baby's eyes and sees there the budding +promise of glorious womanhood. What mother does not watch the +development of her little son with wondering pride, as she notes his +manly, simple ways, his gentle reverence, his tender, modest behavior. +What mother----" + +Here Virginia came to an abrupt stop, for there was a terrible racket +somewhere overhead on the piazza roof; a rope was suddenly dropped +over the edge of the eaves, and almost immediately a pair of very +immodestly bare legs were lowered into view, followed by the rest of +Nickey Burke's person, attired in his nightshirt. It was the work of a +moment for the nimble boy to slide down the rope onto the ground. But, +as he landed on his feet, finding himself in the august presence of +the missionary circle, he remarked "Gee Whitaker bee's wax!" and +prudently took to his heels, and sped around the house as if he had +been shot out of a gun. + +Several segments of the circle giggled violently. The essayist, though +very red, made a brave effort to ignore the highly indecorous +interruption, and so continued with trembling tones: + +"What more beautiful and touching thing is there, than the innocent, +unsullied modesty of childhood? One might almost say----" + +But she never said it, for here again she was forced to pause while +another pair of immodest legs appeared over the eaves, much fatter and +shorter than the preceding pair. These belonged to Nickey's +boon-companion, the gentle Oliver Wendell Jones. The rest of O. W. J. +followed in due time; and, quite ignorant of what awaited him, he +began his wriggling descent. Most unfortunately for him, the hem of +his nightshirt caught on a large nail in the eaves of the roof; and +after a frantic, fruitless, and fearful effort to disconnect himself, +he hung suspended in the breeze for one awful moment, like a painted +cherub on a Christmas tree, while his mother, recognizing her +offspring, rose to go to his assistance. + +Then there was a frantic yell, a terrible ripping sound, and Oliver +Wendell was seen to drop to the ground clad in the sleeves and the +front breadth of his shirt, while the entire back of it, from the +collar down, waved triumphantly aloft from the eaves. Oliver Wendell +Jones picked himself up, unhurt, but much frightened, and very angry: +presenting much the aspect of a punctured tire. Then suddenly +discovering the proximity of the missionary circle and missing the +rear elevation of his shirt about the same time, in the horror and +mortification of the moment, he lost his head entirely. +Notwithstanding the protests of his pursuing mother, without waiting +for his clothes, he fled, "anywhere, anywhere out of the world," +bawling with wrath and chagrin. + +The entire circumference of the missionary circle now burst into roars +of laughter. His mother quickly overtook and captured Oliver, tying +her apron around his neck as a concession to the popular prejudice +against "the altogether." The gravity of the missionary circle was so +thoroughly demoralized that it was impossible to restore order; and +Miss Bascom, in the excess of her mortification, stuffed the rest of +her manuscript, its eloquent peroration undelivered, into her bag. + +[Illustration: "NICHOLAS BURKE, WHAT IN THE NAME OF CONSCIENCE DOES ALL +THIS IDIOTIC PERFORMANCE MEAN, I'D LIKE TO KNOW?"] + +When the last guest had departed, Mrs. Burke proceeded to hunt up +Nickey, who was dressed and sitting on the top of the corn-crib +whittling a stick. His mother began: + +"Nicholas Burke, what in the name of conscience does all this idiotic +performance mean, I'd like to know?" + +Nickey closed his knife. Gazing serenely down at his mother, he +replied: + +"How'd I know the blamed missionary push was goin' to meet on the +front porch, I'd like to know? Me and Oliver Wendell was just playin' +the house was on fire. We'd gone to bed in the front room, and then I +told Ollie the fire was breakin' out all around us, and the sparks was +flyin', and the stairs was burned away, and there was no way of +'scapin' but to slide down the rope over the roof. I 'aint to blame +for his nightshirt bein' caught on a nail, and bein' ripped off him. +Maybe the ladies was awful shocked; but they laughed fit to split +their sides just the same. Mr. Maxwell laughed louder than 'em all." + +Hepsey retired hastily, lest her face should relax its well-assumed +severity. + +Maxwell, in the meantime, felt it a part of his duty to console and +soothe the ruffled feelings of his zealous and fluent parishioner, and +to Virginia's pride his offer of escort to Willow Bluff was ample +reparation for the untoward interruption of her oratory. She +delivered into his hands, with sensitive upward glance, the receptacle +containing her manuscript, and set a brisk pace, at which she insured +the passing of the other guests along the road, making visible her +triumph over circumstance and at the same time obviating untimely +intrusion of a tete-a-tete conversation. + +"You must have given a great deal of time and study to your subject," +remarked Maxwell politely. + +"It is very near to my heart," responded Virginia, in welling tones. +"Home-life is, to me, almost a religion. Do you not feel, with me, +that it is the most valuable of human qualities, Mr. Maxwell?" + +"I do indeed, and one of the most difficult to reduce to a +science,"--she glanced up at him apprehensively, whereupon, lest he +seemed to have erred in fact, he added,--"as you made us realize in +your paper." + +"It is so nice to have your appreciation," she gurgled. "Often I feel +it almost futile to try to influence our cold parish audiences; their +attitude is so stolid, so unimaginative. As you must have realized, in +the pulpit, they are so hard to lead into untrodden paths. Let us take +the way home by the lane," she added coyly, leading off the road down +a sheltered by-way. + +The lane was rough, and the lady, tightly and lightly shod, stumbled +neatly and grasped her escort's arm for support--and retained it for +comfort. + +"What horizons your sermons have spread before us--and, yet,"--she +hesitated,--"I often wonder, as my eyes wander over the congregation, +how many besides myself, really hear your message, really see what +_you_ see." + +Her hand trembled on his arm, and Maxwell was a little at a loss, +though anxious not to seem unresponsive to Virginia's enthusiasm for +spiritual vision. + +"I feel that my first attention has to be given to the simpler +problems, here in Durford," he replied. "But I am glad if I haven't +been dull, in the process." + +"Dull? No indeed--how can you say that! To my life--you will +understand?" (she glanced up with tremulous flutter of eyelids) "--you +have brought so much helpfulness and--and warmth." She sighed +eloquently. + +Maxwell was no egotist, and was always prone to see only an impersonal +significance in parish compliments. A more self-conscious subject for +confidences would have replied less openly. + +"I am glad--very glad. But you must not think that the help has been +one-sided. You have seconded my efforts so energetically--indeed I +don't know what I could have accomplished without such whole-hearted +help as you and Mrs. Burke and others have given." + +To the optimistic Virginia the division of the loaves and fishes of +his personal gratitude was scarcely heeded. She cherished her own +portion, and soon magnified it to a basketful--and soon, again, to a +monopoly of the entire supply. As he gave her his hand at the door of +Willow Bluff, she was in fit state to invest that common act of +friendliness with symbolic significance of a rosy future. + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER VII + +HEPSEY GOES A-FISHING + + +Mrs. Burke seemed incapable of sitting still, with folded hands, for +any length of time; and when the stress of her attention to household +work, and her devotion to neighborly good deeds relaxed, she turned to +knitting wash-rags as a sportsman turns to his gun, or a toper to his +cups. She seemed to find more stimulus for thought and more helpful +diversion in the production of one wash-rag than most persons find in +a trip abroad. + +One day, not very long after the eventful missionary tea, she was +sitting in her garden, and knitting more rapidly than usual, as she +said to Maxwell: + +"What's been the matter with you these last few weeks? You've been +lookin' altogether too sober, and you don't eat nothin' to speak of. +It must be either liver, or conscience, or heart." + +Secretly, she strongly suspected a cardiac affection, of the romantic +variety. She intended to investigate. + +Donald laughed as he replied: + +"Perhaps it's all three together; but I'm all right. There's nothing +the matter with me. Every man has his blue days, you know." + +"Yes, but the last month you've had too many; and there must be some +reason for it. There's nothin' so refreshin' as gettin' away from your +best friends, once in a while. I guess you need a change--pinin' for +the city, maybe. Sakes alive! I can't see how folks can live that +way--all crowded up together, like a lot of prisons." + +"You don't care to visit in the city, then?" + +"Not on your life!" + +"But a change is good for everyone. Don't you ever get away from +Durford for a few weeks?" + +"Not very often. What with decidin' where to go, and fussin' to get +ready, and shuttin' up the house, it's more trouble than its worth. +Then there's so many things to 'tend to when you get home." + +"But don't you ever visit relatives?" + +"Not on your life, unless I'm subpoena-ed by the coroner: though of +course we do get together to celebrate a family funeral or a wedding +now and then. Visitin' is no joke, I tell you. No sir, I'm old enough +to know when I'm well off, and home's the best place for me. I want my +own table, and my own bed when it comes night." She paused, and then +remarked meditatively: + +"I went down to visit in New York once." + +"Didn't you enjoy your visit?" Maxwell inquired. "New York's my +home-city." + +"Can't say I did, awful much. You see, I was visitin' Sally +Ramsdale--Sally Greenway that was. They were livin' in an apartment, +ninth floor up. In the first place, I didn't like goin' up stairs in +the elevator. I was so scared, I felt as if the end had come, and I +was bein' jerked to my reward in an iron birdcage with a small kid +dressed in brass buttons. When I got into the hall it was about two +feet wide and darker than Pharaoh's conscience. It had a string of +cells along the side, and one opened into a chimney, and the rest into +nothin' in particular. The middle cell was a dinin' room where we ate +when we could find the way to our mouths. Near as I can recollect, +you got into the parlor through the pantry, back of the servant's +room, by jumpin' over five trunks. You ought to have seen my room. It +looked just like a parlor when you first went in. There was somethin' +lookin' like a cross between an upright piano and writin' desk. Sally +gave it a twist, and it tumbled out into a folding bed. The first +night, I laid awake with my eyes on the foot of that bed expectin' it +to rise and stand me on my head; but it didn't. You took the book of +poems off the center table, gave it a flop, and it was a washstand. +Everything seemed to shut up into something else it hadn't ought to. +It was a 'now you see it, and now you don't see it,' kind of a room; +and I seemed to be foldin' and unfoldin' most of the time. Then the +ceilin' was so low that you could hardly get the cover off the soap +dish. I felt all the while as if I should smother. My! but I was glad +to get home and get a breath of real air." + +"Yes," Maxwell replied, "people live more natural and healthful lives +in the country. The advantages of the city aren't an unmixed +blessing." + +"That's true enough. That's no way to live. Just think of havin' no +yard but a window box and a fire escape! I'd smother! + +"We folks out here in the country 'aint enjoyin' a lot of the +refinements of city life; anyhow we get along, and the funny part +about it is,--it 'aint hard to do, either. In the first place we 'aint +so particular, which helps a lot, and besides, as Jonathan Jackson +used to say,--there's compensations. I had one look at Fifth Avenue +and I'm not sayin' it wasn't all I had heard it was; but if I had to +look at it three hundred and sixty-five days a year I wouldn't trade +it for this. + +"Why, some days it rains up here, but I can sit at my window and look +down the valley, to where the creek runs through, and 'way up into the +timber, and the sight of all those green things, livin' and noddin' in +the rain is a long ways from being disheartenin',--and when the sun +shines I can sit out here, in my garden, with my flowers, and watch +the boys playin' down in the meadow, Bascom's Holsteins grazin' over +there on the hill, and the air full of the perfume of growin' +things,--they 'aint got anything like that, in New York." + +For a time Mrs. Burke relapsed into silence, while Maxwell smoked his +briar pipe as he lay on the grass near by. She realized that the +parson had cleverly side-tracked her original subject of conversation, +and as she glanced down at him she shook her head with droll +deprecation of his guile. + +When she first accused him of the blues, it was true that Maxwell's +look had expressed glum depression. Now, he was smiling, and, balked +of her prey, Mrs. Burke knitted briskly, contemplating other means +drawing him from his covert. Her strategy had been too subtle: she +would try a frontal attack. + +"Ever think of gettin' married, Mr. Maxwell?" she inquired abruptly. + +For an instant Maxwell colored; but he blew two or three rings of +smoke in the air, and then replied carelessly, as he plucked at the +grass by his side: + +"Oh, yes: every fellow of my age has fancied himself in love some time +or other, I suppose." + +"Yes, it's like measles, or whoopin'-cough; every man has to have it +sometime; but you haven't answered my question." + +"Well, suppose I was in love; a man must be pretty conceited to +imagine that he could make up to a girl for the sacrifice of bringing +her to live in a place like Durford. That sounds horribly rude to +Durford, but you won't misunderstand me." + +"No; I know exactly how you feel; but the average girl is just dyin' +to make a great sacrifice for some good-lookin' young fellow, all the +same." + +"Ah yes; the _average_ girl; but----" + +Maxwell's voice trailed off into silence, while he affected to gaze +stonily into the blue deeps of the sky overhead. + +Hepsey had thought herself a pretty clever fisherman, in her day; +evidently, she decided, this particular fish was not going to be easy +to land. + +"Don't you think a clergyman is better off married?" she asked, +presently. + +Donald knocked the ashes out of his pipe and put it in his pocket, +clasped his hands across his knees, and smiled thoughtfully for a +moment. There was a light in his eyes which was good to see, and a +slight trembling of his lips before he ventured to speak. Then he +sighed heavily. + +"Yes, I do, on many accounts. But I think that any parson in a place +like this ought to know and face all the difficulties of the situation +before he comes to a definite decision and marries. Isn't that your +own view? You've had experience of married parsons here: what do you +think?" + +"Well, you see the matter is just like this: Every parish wants an +unmarried parson; the vestry 'cause he's cheap, every unmarried woman +'cause he may be a possible suitor; and it's easier to run him than it +is a married man. He may be decent, well-bred and educated. And he +comes to a parcel of ignoramuses who think they know ten times as much +as he does. If he can't earn enough to marry on, and has the good +sense to keep out of matrimony, the people talk about his bein' a +selfish old bachelor who neglects his duty to society. He can't afford +to run a tumble-down rectory like ours. If in the face of all this he +marries, he has to scrimp and stint until it is a question of buyin' +one egg or two, and lettin' his wife worry and work until she's fit +for a lunatic asylum. No business corporation, not even a +milk-peddlin' trust, would treat its men so or expect good work from +'em. Then the average layman seldom thinks how he can help the parson. +His one idea is to be a kicker as long as he can think of anything to +kick about. The only man in this parish who never kicks is paralyzed +in both legs. Yes sir; the parson of the country parish is the parish +goat, as the sayin' is." + +Mrs. Burke ceased her tirade, and after a while Maxwell remarked +quietly: + +"Mrs. Burke, I'm afraid you are a pessimist." + +"I'm no such thing," she retorted hotly. "A pessimist's a man that +sees nothin' but the bad, and says there's no help for it and won't +raise a hand: he's a proper sour-belly. An optimist's a man that sees +nothin' but the good, and says everything's all right; let's have a +good time. Poor fool! The practical man--anyway, the practical +woman--sees both the bad and the good, and says we can make things a +whole lot better if we try; let's take off our coats and hustle to +beat the cars, and see what happens. The real pessimists are your +Bascoms, and that kind: and I guess I pity him more than blame him: he +seems as lonesome as a tooth-pick in a cider-barrel." + +"But I thought that Bascom was a wealthy man. He ought to be able to +help out, and raise money enough so that the town could keep a parson +and his wife comfortably." + +"Sure thing! But the church isn't supported by tight-fisted wealthy +people. It's the hard-workin' middle class who are willin' to turn in +and spend their last cent for the church. And don't you get me started +on Bascom as you value your life. Maybe I'll swear a blue streak +before I get through: not but what I suppose that even Bascom has his +good points--like a porcupine. But a little emery paper on Bascom's +good points wouldn't hurt 'em very much. They're awful rusty." + +"Oh well! Money isn't all there is in life," soothed Maxwell, +smiling. + +"No, not quite; but it's a mighty good thing to have in the house. +You'd think so if you had to wear the same hat three summers. I've got +to that time in my life where I can get along very well without most +of the necessities; but I must have a few luxuries to keep me goin'." + +"Then you think that a clergyman ought not to marry and bring his wife +to a place like Durford?" + +"I didn't say anything of the sort. If you was to get married I'd see +you through, if it broke my neck or Bascom's." + +"Do you know, you seem to me a bit illogical?" remarked Maxwell +mildly. + +"Don't talk to me about logic! The strongest argument is often the +biggest lie. There are times in your life when you have to take your +fate in both hands and shut your eyes, and jump in the dark. Maybe +you'll land on your feet, and maybe you--won't. But you have got to +jump just the same. That's matrimony--common sense, idiocy, or +whatever you choose to call it.... I never could tell which. It's the +only thing to do; and any man with a backbone and a fist won't +hesitate very long. If you marry, I'll see you through; though of +course you won't stay here long, anyhow." + +"You're awfully kind, Mrs. Burke," Maxwell replied, "and I sha'n't +forget your promise--when the time comes for me to take the momentous +step. But I think it would be the wisest thing for me to keep my +heart free for a while; or at any rate, not to get married." + +Mrs. Burke looked down at her rector, and smiled broadly at his clever +evasion of the bait she had dangled before him so persistently. + +"Well, do as you like; but that reminds me that when next you go to +town you'll need to get a new glass for that miniature of your sister. +You must have dozed off with it in your hands last night and dropped +it. I found it this morning on the floor alongside of your chair, with +the glass broken." + +She rose triumphantly, as she knitted the last stitch of the wash-rag. +"Excuse me--I must go and peel the potatoes for dinner." + +"I'd offer to contribute to the menu, by catching some fish for you; +but I don't think it's a very good day for fishing, is it, Mrs. +Burke?" asked Maxwell innocently. + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER VIII + +AN ICEBOX FOR CHERUBIM + + +As we have seen, when Maxwell began his work in Durford, he was full +of the enthusiasm of youth and inexperience. He was, however, heartily +supported and encouraged in his efforts by all but Sylvester Bascom. +Without being actively and openly hostile, the Senior Warden, under +the guise of superior wisdom and a judicial regard for expediency, +managed to thwart many of his projects. After each interview with +Bascom, Maxwell felt that every bit of life and heart had been pumped +out of him, and that he was very young, and very foolish to attempt +to make any change in "the good old ways" of the parish, which for so +many years had stunted its growth and had acquired the immobility of +the laws of the Medes and Persians. + +But there was one parishioner who was ever ready to suggest new +ventures to "elevate" the people, and to play the part of intimate +friend and adviser to her good-looking rector, and that was Virginia +Bascom. For some unknown reason "the people" did not seem to be +acutely anxious thus to be elevated; and most of them seemed to regard +Virginia as a harmless idiot with good intentions, but with positive +genius for meddling in other people's affairs. Being the only daughter +of the Senior Warden, and the leading lady from a social standpoint, +she considered that she had a roving commission to set people right at +a moment's notice; and there were comparatively few people in Durford +on whom she had not experimented in one way or another. She organized +a Browning club to keep the factory girls out of the streets evenings, +a mothers' meeting, an ethical culture society, and a craftman's club, +and, as she was made president of each, her time was quite well +filled. + +And now in her fertile brain dawned a brilliant idea, which she +proceeded to propound to the rector. Maxwell was non-committal, for +he felt the matter was one for feminine judgment. Then she decided to +consult Mrs. Burke--because, while Hepsey was "not in society," she +was recognized as the dominant personality among the women of the +village, and no parish enterprise amounted to much unless she approved +of it, and was gracious enough to assist. As Virginia told Maxwell, +"Mrs. Burke has a talent of persuasiveness," and so was "useful in any +emergency." If Mrs. Burke's sympathies could be enlisted on behalf of +the new scheme it would be bound to succeed. + +As a matter of fact, Mrs. Burke had heard rumors of this new project +of Virginia's. It always went against the grain with Hepsey to say: +"Don't do it." She was a firm believer in the teaching of experience: +"Experience does it," was her translation of the classic adage. + +And so one morning found Virginia sitting opposite Mrs. Burke in the +kitchen at Thunder Cliff, knitting her brows and poking the toe of her +boot with the end of her parasol in an absent-minded way. This was +symptomatic. + +"Anything on your mind, Virginia? What's up now?" Mrs. Burke began. + +For a moment Virginia hesitated, and then replied: + +"I am thinking of establishing a day-nursery to care for the babies of +working women, Mrs. Burke." + +Mrs. Burke, with hands on her hips, gazed intently at her visitor, +pushed up her under lip, scowled, and then observed thoughtfully: + +"I wonder some one hasn't thought of that before. Who's to take care +of the babies?" + +"Mary Quinn and I, with the assistance of others, of course." + +"Are you sure that you know which is the business end of a +nursing-bottle? Could you put a safety-pin where it would do the most +good? Could you wash a baby without drownin' it?" + +"Of course I have not had much experience," Virginia replied in a +dignified and lofty way, "but Mary Quinn has, and she could teach +me." + +"You're thinkin', I suppose, that a day-nursery would fill a long-felt +want, or somethin' like that. Who's goin' to pay the bills?" + +"Oh, there ought to be enough progressive, philanthropic people in +Durford to subscribe the necessary funds, you know. It is to be an +auxiliary to the parish work." + +"Hm! What does Mr. Maxwell say?" + +"Well, he said that he supposed that babies were good things in their +way; but he hadn't seen many in the village, and he didn't quite +realize what help a day-nursery would be to the working women." + +"That doesn't sound mighty enthusiastic. Maybe we might get the money; +but who's to subscribe the babies?" + +"Why, the working women, of course." + +"They can't subscribe 'em if they haven't got 'em. There are mighty +few kids in this town; and if you really want my candid opinion, I +don't think Durford needs a day-nursery any more than it needs an +icebox for cherubim. But then of course that doesn't matter much. When +you goin' to begin?" + +"Next Monday. We have rented the store where Elkin's grocery used to +be, and we are going to fit it up with cribs, and all the most +up-to-date conveniences for a sanitary day-nursery." + +"Hm! Well, I'll do all I can to help you, of course. I suppose you'll +find babies pushin' all over the sidewalk Monday mornin', comin' early +to avoid the rush. Better get down as early as possible, Virginia." + +Virginia departed. + +After the furnishing of the incipient nursery had been completed, and +each little crib had a new unbreakable doll whose cheeks were +decorated with unsuckable paint, Virginia and Mary Quinn--invaluable +in undertaking the spadework of all Virginia's parish exploits--gave +an afternoon tea to which all the subscribers and their friends were +invited. But when everything was in readiness for patronage, what few +working women there were in Durford, possessed of the right kind of +babies, seemed strangely reluctant to trust their youthful offspring +to the tender mercies of Virginia Bascom and Mary Quinn. + +Consequently, the philanthropic movement, started under such favorable +patronage, soon reached a critical stage in its career, and Mrs. Burke +was called in to contribute some practical suggestions. She responded +to the summons with all due promptness, and when she arrived at the +nursery, she smilingly remarked: + +"Hm! But where are the babies? I thought they would be swarming all +over the place like tadpoles in a pool." + +"Well, you see," Virginia began, her voice quivering with +disappointment, "Mary Quinn and I have been sitting here four mortal +days, and not a single infant has appeared on the scene. I must say +that the working women of Durford seem strangely unappreciative of our +efforts to help them." + +"Well," Mrs. Burke responded, "I suppose day-nurseries without babies +are as incomplete as an incubator without eggs. But after all, it +hardly seems worth while to go out and snatch nursing infants from +their mother's breasts just to fill a long-felt want, does it? +Besides, you might get yourself into trouble." + +"I didn't ask you to come and make fun of me," Virginia replied +touchily. "I wanted you to make some suggestions to help us out. If we +don't get any babies, we might just as well close our doors at once. I +should be awfully mortified to have the whole thing a failure, after +all we have done, and all the advertising we have had." + +Mrs. Burke sat down and assumed a very judicial expression. + +"Well, Ginty dear, I'm awful sorry for you; I don't doubt you done the +best you could. It'd be unreasonable to expect you to collect babies +like mushrooms in a single night. All true reformers are bound to +strike snags, and to suffer because they aint appreciated in their own +day and generation. It's only after we are gone and others take our +places that the things we do are appreciated. You'll have to resign +yourself to fate, Virginia, and wait for what the newspapers call 'the +vindicatin' verdict of prosperity.' Think of all the people that tried +to do things and didn't do 'em. Now there's the Christian +martyrs----" + +For some reason Virginia seemed to have a vague suspicion that Hepsey +was still making fun of her; and being considerably nettled, she +interjected tartly: + +"I'm not working for the verdict of posterity, and I don't care a flip +for the Christian martyrs. I'm trying to conduct a day-nursery, here +and now; we have the beds, and the equipment, and some money, +and----" + +"But you haven't got the babies, Virginia!" + +"Precisely, Mrs. Burke. It's simply a question of babies, now or +never. Babies we must have or close our doors. I must confess that I +am greatly pained at the lack of interest of the community in our +humble efforts to serve them." + +For some time Hepsey sat in silence; then she smiled as if a bright +idea occurred to her. + +"Why not borrow a few babies from the mothers in town, Virginia? You +see, you might offer to pay a small rental by the hour, or take out a +lease which could be renewed when it expired. What is lacking is +public confidence in your enterprise. If you and Miss Quinn could be +seen in the nursery windows dandlin' a baby on each arm, and singin' +lullabies to 'em for a few days, it'd attract attention, inspire +faith in the timid, and public confidence would be restored. The tide +of babies'd turn your way after a while, and the nursery would prove a +howlin' success." + +Virginia considered the suggestion and, after deep thought, remarked: + +"What do you think we ought to pay for the loan of a baby per hour, +Mrs. Burke?" + +"Well, of course I haven't had much experience rentin' babies, as I +have been busy payin' taxes and insurance on my own for some years; +then you see rents have gone up like everything lately. But I should +think that ten cents an afternoon ought to be sufficient. I think I +might be able to hunt up a baby or two. Mrs. Warren might lend her +baby, and perhaps Mrs. Fletcher might add her twins. I'll call on them +at once, if you say so." + +Virginia looked relieved, and in a voice of gratitude responded: + +"You are really very, very kind." + +"Well, cheer up, Virginia; cheer up. Every cloud has its silver +linin'; and I guess we can find some babies somewhere even if we have +to advertise in the papers. Now I must be goin', and I'll stop on the +way and make a bid for the Fletcher twins. Good-by." + +When Nicholas Burke learned from his mother of the quest of the +necessary babies, he started out of his own motion and was the first +to arrive on the scene with the spoils of victory, in the shape of the +eighteen-months infant of Mrs. Thomas McCarthy, for which he had been +obliged to pay twenty-five cents in advance, the infant protesting +vigorously with all the power of a well developed pair of lungs. As +Nickey delivered the goods, he remarked casually: + +"Say, Miss Virginia, you just take the darn thing quick. He's been +howlin' to beat the band." + +"Why, Nickey," exclaimed Virginia, entranced, and gingerly possessing +herself of James McCarthy, "however did you get him?" + +"His ma wouldn't let me have him at first; and it took an awful lot of +jollyin' to bring her round. Of course I didn't mean to tell no lies, +but I said you was awful fond of kids. I said that if you only had +Jimmy, it would give the nursery a dandy send-off, 'cause she was so +well known, and Mr. McCarthy was such a prominent citizen. When she +saw me cough up a quarter and play with it right under her nose, I +could see she was givin' in; and she says to me, 'Nickey, you can take +him just this once. I'd like to help the good cause along, and Miss +Bascom, she means well.' Ma's gettin' after the Fletcher twins for +you." + +James McCarthy was welcomed with open arms, was washed and dressed in +the most approved antiseptic manner; his gums were swabed with boracic +acid, and he was fed from a sterilized bottle on Pasteurized milk, and +tucked up in a crib with carbolized sheets, and placed close to the +window where he could bask in actinic rays, and inhale ozone to his +heart's content. Thus the passer-by could see at a glance that the +good work had begun to bear fruit. + +Mrs. Burke managed to get hold of the Fletcher twins, and as they both +howled lustily in unison, all the time, they added much to the natural +domesticity of the scene and seemed to invite further patronage, like +barkers at a side-show. Mrs. Warren was also persuaded. + +Although the village was thoroughly canvassed, Miss Bascom was obliged +to content herself with the McCarthy baby and the Fletcher twins, and +the Warren baby, until, one morning, a colored woman appeared with a +bundle in her arms. As she was the first voluntary contributor of live +stock, she was warmly welcomed, and a great fuss made over the tiny +black infant which gradually emerged from the folds of an old shawl +"like a cuckoo out of its cocoon," as Mary Quinn remarked. This, of +course, was very nice and encouraging, but most unfortunately, when +night came, the mother did not appear to claim her progeny, nor did +she ever turn up again. Of course it was a mere oversight on her part, +but Virginia was much disturbed, for, to her very great embarrassment, +she found herself the undisputed possessor of a coal black baby. She +was horrified beyond measure, and sent at once for Mrs. Burke. + +"What shall I do, what shall I do, Mrs. Burke?" she cried. Mrs. Burke +gazed musingly at the writhing black blot on the white and rose +blanket, and suggested: + +"Pity you couldn't adopt it, Virginia. You always loved children." + +"Adopt it!" Virginia screamed hysterically. "What in the world can you +be thinking of?" + +"Well, I can't think of anything else, unless I can persuade Andy +Johnston, the colored man on the farm, to adopt it. He wouldn't mind +its complexion as much as you seem to." + +Virginia brightened considerably at this suggestion, exclaiming +excitedly: + +"Oh Mrs. Burke, do you really think you could?" + +"Well, I don't know. Perhaps so. At any rate, if we offer to help pay +the extra expense, Mrs. Johnston might bring the baby up as her own. +Then they can name it Virginia Bascom Johnston, you see." + +Virginia bit her lip, but she managed to control her temper as she +exclaimed quite cheerfully: + +"Mrs. Burke, you are so very kind. You are always helping somebody out +of a scrape." + +"Don't overpraise me, Virginia. My head's easily turned. The teachin's +of experience are hard--but I guess they're best in the end. Well, +send the poor little imp of darkness round to me to-night, and I'll +see that it has good care." + +As a matter of fact, Hepsey had qualms of conscience as to whether she +should not, at the outset, have discouraged the whole baby project; +experience threatened to give its lesson by pretty hard knocks, on +this occasion. + +For though the immediate problem was thus easily solved, others +presented themselves to vex the philanthropic Virginia. + +When on the tenth day the rental for the Warren baby and the Fletcher +twins fell due, and the lease of James McCarthy expired without +privilege of renewal, the finances of the nursery were at a very low +ebb. It certainly did not help matters much when, towards night, Mary +Quinn called Virginia's attention to the fact that there were +unmistakable signs of a bad rash on the faces of the twins, and very +suspicious spots on the cheeks of the Warren baby. Even the +antiseptic James McCarthy blushed like a boiled lobster, and went +hopelessly back on his sterilized character. Of course the only thing +to be done was to send at once for the doctor, and for the mothers of +the respective infants. When the doctor arrived he pronounced the +trouble to be measles; and when the mothers made their appearance, +Virginia learned something of the unsuspected resources of the English +language served hot from the tongues of three frightened and irate +women. Finally the floor was cleared, and the place closed up for +disinfection. + +Just before she left, Virginia dropped into a chair and wept, quite +oblivious of the well-meant consolations of Mary Quinn, sometime +co-partner in "The Durford Day-Nursery for the Children of Working +Women." + +"We've done the very best we could, Miss Bascom; and it certainly +isn't our fault that the venture turned out badly. Poor babies!" + +At this the sobbing Virginia was roused to one last protest: + +"Mary Quinn, if ever you say another word to me about babies, I'll +have you arrested. I just hate babies, and--and everything! Why, there +comes Mr. Maxwell! Say, Mary, you just run and get me a wet towel to +wipe my face with, while I hunt for my combs and do up my back hair. +And then if you wouldn't mind vanishing for a while--I'm sure you +understand--for if ever I needed spiritual consolation and the help of +the church, it is now, this minute." + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER IX + +THE RECTORY + + +A few weeks after Donald's conversational duel with Mrs. Burke he +started on a six-weeks' vacation, which he had certainly earned; and +as he busied himself with his packing,--Hepsey assisting,--he +announced: + +"When I come back, Mrs. Burke, I probably shall not come alone." + +He was strapping up his suit-case when he made this rather startling +announcement, and the effect seemed to send the blood to his head. +Mrs. Burke did not seem to notice his confusion as she remarked +calmly: + +"Hm! That's a good thing. Your grandmother can have the room next to +yours, and we'll do all we can to make the old lady comfortable. I'm +sure she'll be a great comfort to you, though she'll get a bit +lonesome at times, unless she's active on her feet." + +Donald laughed, as he blushed more furiously and stuttered: + +"No, I am not going to bring my grandmother here, and I strongly +suspect that you know what I mean. I'm going to be married." + +"So you are going to get married, are you?" Hepsey remarked with due +amazement, as if the suspicion of the fact had never entered her head +before. "Well, I am mighty glad of it. I only wish that I was goin' to +be present to give you away. Yes, I'm mighty glad. She'll make a new +man of you up here, so long as she isn't a new woman." + +"No, not in the slang sense of the word; although I think you will +find her very capable, and I hope with all my heart that you'll like +her." + +"I'm sure I shall. The question is whether she'll like me." + +Hepsey Burke looked rather sober for a moment, and Donald instantly +asserted: + +"She can't help liking you." + +"We-ell now, I could mention quite a number of people who find it as +easy as rolling off a log to _dis_like, me. But that doesn't matter +much. I have found it a pretty good plan not to expect a great deal of +adoration, and to be mighty grateful for the little you get. Be sure +you let me know when to expect you and your grandmother back." + +"Most certainly I shall," he laughed. "It will be in about six weeks, +you know. Good-by, and thank you a thousand times for all your +kindness to me." + +There was considerable moisture in Hepsey's eyes as she stood and +watched Maxwell drive down the road. Then wiping her eyes furtively +with one corner of her apron she remarked to herself: + +"Well, I suppose I am glad, mighty glad; but somehow it isn't the +jolliest thing in the world to have one's friends get married. They +are never the same again; and in ten times out of six the lady in the +case is jealous of her husband's friends, and tries to make trouble. +It takes a lady saint to share her husband's interests with anybody, +and maybe she 'aint to blame. Well, the next thing in order is to fix +up the rectory in six weeks. The best way to repair that thing is with +a match and some real good kerosene and a few shavings; however, we'll +have to do the best we can. I think I'll set Jonathan Jackson to work +this afternoon, and go around and interview the vestry myself." + +Jonathan proved resignedly obedient to Hepsey's demands, but the +vestry blustered and scolded, because they had not been consulted in +the matter, until Hepsey said she would be glad to receive any +contribution they might choose to offer; then they relapsed into +innocuous desuetude and talked crops. + +As soon as the repairs were well under way, the whole town was wild +with gossip about Maxwell and Miss Bascom. If he were going to occupy +the rectory, the necessary inference was that he was going to be +married, as he surely would not contemplate keeping bachelor's hall by +himself. At last Virginia had attained the height of her ambition and +captured the rector! Consequently she was the center of interest in +every social gathering, although, as the engagement had not been +formally announced, no one felt at liberty to congratulate her. To any +tentative and insinuating advances in this direction Virginia replied +by non-committal smiles, capable of almost any interpretation; and the +seeker after information was none the wiser. + +Mrs. Roscoe-Jones, by virtue of her long intimacy with Hepsey and her +assured social position in Durford's thirty gentry, felt that she was +entitled to some definite information; and so, as they walked back +from church one Wednesday afternoon, she remarked: + +"I hear that the parish is going to repair the rectory, and that you +are taking a great interest in it. You must be on very intimate terms +with Mr. Bascom and the vestry!" + +"Well, not exactly. Bascom and I haven't held hands in the dark for +some time; but I am going to do what I can to get the house in order +for Mr. Maxwell." + +"I wonder where the money is coming from to complete the work? It +seems to me that the whole parish ought to be informed about the +matter, and share in the work; but I suppose Mr. Bascom's shouldering +it all, since there's been no effort to raise money by having a +fair." + +"I really don't know much about it as yet, Sarah. Of course Bascom's +charitable work is mostly done in secret, so that nobody ever finds it +out. He is a modest man and wouldn't like to be caught in the act of +signing a check for anybody else. It might seem showy." + +"Yes, I understand," Mrs. Roscoe-Jones retorted dryly; "but under the +circumstances, that is----" + +"Under what circumstances?" Mrs. Burke inquired quickly. + +"Oh, considering that Mr. Bascom is Virginia's father and would want +to make her comfortable, you know----" + +"No, I don't know. I'm awful stupid about some things. You must have +discovered that before." + +"Now Hepsey, what is the use of beating around the bush like this? You +must know the common gossip of the town, and you must be in Mr. +Maxwell's confidence. What shall I say when people ask me if he is +engaged to Virginia Bascom?" + +"Tell 'em you don't know a blessed thing about it. What else can you +tell 'em? You might tell 'em that you tried to pump me and the pump +wouldn't work 'cause it needed packin'." + +After this, Mrs. Roscoe-Jones felt that there was nothing left for her +to do but retire from the scene; so she crossed the road. + +When Mrs. Burke began the actual work on the rectory she quickly +realized what she had to cope with. The workmen of Durford had a +pleasing habit of accepting all offers of work, and promising +anything, and making a start so as to get the job; and then, having +upset the whole premises, they promptly "lit out" for parts unknown in +order to get another job, and no mortal knew when they would return. +It always seemed promising and hopeful to see a laboring man arrive in +his overalls with his dinner-pail and tools at seven; but when two +hours later he had vanished, not to return, it was a bit discouraging. +Mrs. Burke was not in a very good humor when, arriving at the rectory, +she met Tom Snyder the plumber, at ten-thirty, walking briskly away +from his job. She planted herself squarely across the walk and began: + +"Good morning, Thomas; where are you going, if I may ask?" + +"I am going back for my tools, Mrs. Burke." + +"Excuse me, Thomas, but you were never more mistaken in your life. You +put the kitchen pipes out of business two weeks ago, and you must have +been goin' back for your tools ever since. I suppose you're chargin' +me by the hour for goin' backwards." + +Thomas looked sheepish and scratched his head with his dirty fingers. + +"No, but I have to finish a little job I begun for Elias Warden on the +hill. I'll be back again right away." + +"None of that, Thomas. You're goin' back to the rectory with me now, +and if the job isn't finished by six o'clock, you'll never get your +hands on it again." + +The crestfallen Thomas reluctantly turned around and accompanied +Hepsey back to the rectory and finished his work in half an hour. + +After much trial and tribulation the rectory was duly repaired, +replastered, and papered. The grass had been cut; the bushes were +trimmed; and the house had been painted. Then Mrs. Burke obtained a +hayrack with a team, and taking Nickey and Jonathan Jackson with her, +made a tour of the parish asking for such furniture as individual +parishioners were willing to give. Late in the afternoon she arrived +at the rectory with a very large load, and the next day Jonathan was +made to set to work with his tools, and she started in with some paint +and varnish, and the result seemed eminently satisfactory to her, even +though her hands were stained, she had had no dinner, and her hair was +stuck to her head here and there in shiny spots. As they were leaving +the house to return home for supper, she scowled severely at Jonathan +as she remarked: + +"Jonathan, I do believe you've got more red paint on the top of your +head than you left on the kitchen chairs. Do for mercy sake wash the +end of your nose. I don't care to be seen comin' out of here with you +lookin' like that," she added scathingly. + +After that, it was, as Mrs. Burke remarked, just fun to finish the +rectory; and though so much had been given by the people of the +parish, there were many new pieces of furniture delivered, for which +no one could account. As neither Mr. Bascom nor Miss Bascom had sent +anything, and as neither had appeared on the scene, excitement was at +fever heat. Rumor had it that Virginia had gone to the city for a week +or so, to buy her trousseau. Presently the report circulated that +Maxwell was going to bring his bride back with him when he returned +from his vacation. + +The day before the one set for Maxwell's arrival Mrs. Burke confessed +the truth, and suggested that the rectory be stocked with provisions, +so that the bride and groom should have something to eat when they +first got home. The idea seemed to please the parish, and provisions +began to arrive and were placed in the cellar, or on the newly painted +pantry shelves, or in the neat cupboards. Mrs. Talbot sent a bushel of +potatoes, Mrs. Peterson a pan of soda biscuit, Mrs. Andrews two loaves +of bread; Mrs. Squires donated a pan of soda biscuit, Mrs. Johnson +some frosted cake, and Mrs. Marlow two bushels of apples. Mrs. Hurd +sent a pan of soda biscuit, Mrs. Waldorf three dozen eggs, and a sack +of flour; Mrs. Freyburg sent a pan of soda biscuit, Mrs. Jones a +boiled ham, Mrs. Orchardson two bushels of turnips and half a pan of +soda biscuit. + +Mrs. Burke received the provisions as they arrived, and put them where +they belonged. Just about supper time Mrs. Loomis came with a large +bundle under her arm and remarked to Hepsey: + +"I thought I'd bring something nobody else would think of--something +out of the ordinary that perhaps Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell would relish." + +"I'm sure that was real thoughtful of you, Mrs. Loomis," Hepsey +replied. "What have you got?" + +"Well," Mrs. Loomis responded, "I thought I'd bring 'em two pans of my +nice fresh soda biscuit." + +Mrs. Burke kept her face straight, and responded cheerfully: + +"That was awful nice of you, Mrs. Loomis." + +"Oh, that's all right. And if you want any more, just let me know." + +Finally, when the door was closed on the last contributor, Mrs. Burke +dropped into a chair and called: + +"Jonathan Jackson, come here quick." + +Jonathan responded promptly, and anxiously inquired: + +"Hepsey, be you ill?" + +"No, I'm not sick; but we have ten pans of soda biscuit. They are in +the pantry, down cellar, in the woodshed, on the parlor table. For +mercy's sake take eight pans out to the chickens or stick 'em on the +picket fence. I just loathe soda biscuit; and if any more come I shall +throw 'em at the head of the woman that brings 'em." + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER X + +THE BRIDE'S ARRIVAL + + +Next morning, when Nickey brought up the mail, Mrs. Burke looked +anxiously over her letters until she came to the one she was +expecting. She read it in silence. + +The gist of the matter was that Maxwell had been married to the nicest +girl in the world, and was looking forward to having Mrs. Burke meet +her, and to have his wife know the woman who had been so supremely +good to him in the parish. He closed by informing her that they were +to return the next day at five P. M., and if it were not asking too +much, he hoped that she would take them in for a few days until they +could find quarters elsewhere. The letter was countersigned by a +pretty little plea for friendship from "Mrs. Betty." + +Mrs. Burke replaced the letter and murmured to herself, smiling: + +"Poor little dear! Of course they could come and stay as long as they +pleased; but as the rectory is in order, I think that I'll meet them +at the depot, and take them there direct. They'll be much happier +alone by themselves from the start. I'll have supper ready for 'em, +and cook the chickens while they're unpackin' their trunks." + +As Mrs. Burke thought it best to maintain a discreet silence as to the +time of their arrival, there was no one but herself to meet them at +the station when the train pulled in. As Maxwell presented his wife to +Mrs. Burke, Hepsey took the girl's two hands in hers and kissed her +heartily, and then, looking at her keenly as the bride blushed under +her searching gaze, she remarked: + +"You're a dreadful disappointment, Mrs. Maxwell. I'm afraid it'll take +me a long time to get over it." + +"I am horribly sorry to disappoint you so, Mrs. Burke." + +Maxwell laughed, while Mrs. Betty looked puzzled. + +"Yes," Mrs. Burke continued, "you're a dreadful disappointment. Your +picture isn't half as sweet as you are." Then turning to Maxwell, she +said: + +"Why didn't you tell me? Who taught you to pick out just the right +sort of wife, I'd like to know?" + +"_She_ did!" Maxwell replied, pointing delightedly to the young woman, +who was still smiling and blushing under Hepsey's inspection. + +"But Mrs. Burke," Mrs. Betty interposed, "can't you give me a little +credit for 'picking out' Donald, as you say?" + +"Yes; Mr. Maxwell's pretty fine, though I wouldn't want to have you +tell him so, for anything. But I know, because Durford is calculated +to test a man's mettle, if any place ever was. Now Mrs. Betty, if +that's what I'm to call you, if you'll get into the wagon we'll drive +home and have some supper. You must be 'most famished by this time, if +you stop thinkin' about Mr. Maxwell long enough to have an appetite. I +suppose that we might have had a committee of the vestry down here to +bid you welcome to Durford; and Nickey suggested the village band and +some hot air balloons, and that the boys of the parish should pull +the carriage up to the house after they'd presented you with a +magnificent bouquet; but I thought you'd just like to slip in +unnoticed and get acquainted with your parishioners one at a time. +It'd be simply awful to have a whole bunch of 'em thrown at your head +at once; and as for the whole vestry--well, never mind." + +They got into the "democrat" and started out at a smart trot, but when +they came to the road which turned toward Thunder Cliff, Mrs. Burke +drove straight across the green. + +"Why, where are you going, Mrs. Burke?" Maxwell exclaimed. + +"Well, I thought that maybe Mrs. Betty would like to get a sight of +the town before we went home." + +When they came to the rectory and turned into the yard, the wonderful +transformation dawned on Maxwell. + +"My gracious, what a change! It's perfectly marvelous," he exclaimed. +"Why Mrs. Burke, I believe you've brought us here to live!" + +"Right you are, my friend. This is where you belong." + +"Well, you certainly do beat the Dutch. Who is responsible for all +this, I'd like to know? But of course it's you." + +"Well, I had a hand in it, but so did the whole parish. Now walk right +in and make yourselves at home." + +Mrs. Burke enjoyed to the full Maxwell's surprise and delight, as he +and Mrs. Betty explored the house like a couple of very enthusiastic +children. When they got into the china closet and Mrs. Betty found a +silver tea-ball she exclaimed rapturously: + +"Look here, Donald! Did you ever see the like of this? Here is a +regular tea-ball. We will have tea every afternoon at four, and Mrs. +Burke will be our guest. How perfectly delightful." + +This remark seemed to please Hepsey mightily, as she exclaimed: + +"Oh, my, no! Do you want to spoil my nervous system? We are not given +much to tea-balls in Durford. We consider ourselves lucky if we get a +plain old-fashioned pot. Now you get fixed up," she directed, "while I +get supper ready, and I'll stay just this time, if you'll let me, and +then if you can stand it, perhaps you'll ask me again." + +Soon they sat down to a little table covered with spotless linen and a +pretty set of white china with gold bands. Maxwell did not say much; +he was still too surprised and delighted. + +[Illustration: "OH WELL, I ALWAYS BELIEVE THAT TWO YOUNG MARRIED PEOPLE +SHOULD START OUT BY THEMSELVES, AND THEN IF THEY GET INTO +A FAMILY ROW IT WON'T SCANDALIZE THE PARISH"] + +The broiled chickens and the browned potato balls were placed before +Maxwell, who faced Mrs. Betty--Hepsey sitting between them. + +"Now this is what I call rich," Maxwell exclaimed as he carved. "I +hadn't the slightest suspicion that we were to come here and find all +these luxuries." + +"However did the house get furnished?" chimed in Mrs. Betty. + +"Oh well," Mrs. Burke replied, "I always believe that two young +married people should start out by themselves, you know; and then if +they get into a family row it won't scandalize the parish. The only +new thing about the furnishings is paint and varnish. I drove around +and held up the parish, and made them stand and deliver the goods, and +Jonathan Jackson and I touched it up a little; that's all." + +"We ought to acknowledge each gift personally," Maxwell said. "You +must tell us who's given what." + +"Oh, no you won't. When I took these things away from their owners by +force, I acknowledged them in the politest way possible, so as to save +you the trouble. You're not supposed to know where a thing came +from." + +"But there must have been a lot of money spent on the rectory to get +it into shape," Maxwell asserted. "Where did it all come from?" + +Mrs. Burke grinned with amusement. + +"Why, can't you guess? Of course it was that merry-hearted, generous +old Senior Warden of yours. Who else could it be? If there is anything +you need, just let us know." + +"But the house seems to be very completely furnished as it is." + +"No, not yet. If you look around you'll see lots of things that aren't +here." + +Mrs. Betty quite raved over the salad, made of lettuce, oranges, +walnuts and a mayonnaise dressing. Then there came ice cream and +chocolate sauce, followed by black coffee. + +"This is quite too much, Mrs. Burke. You must be a superb cook. I am +horribly afraid you'll have spoiled Donald, so that my cooking will +seem very tame to him," Mrs. Betty remarked. + +"Well, never mind, Mrs. Betty. If worst comes to worst there are seven +pans of soda biscuit secreted around the premises somewhere; so don't +be discouraged. There are lots of things you can do with a soda +biscuit, if you know how. Now we'll just clear the table, and wash the +dishes, and put things away." + +When about nine o'clock she arose to go, Maxwell took both Hepsey's +hands in his and said quietly: + +"Mrs. Burke, I'm more indebted to you than I can possibly say, for all +you have done for us. I wish I knew how to thank you properly, but I +don't." + +"Oh, never mind that," Mrs. Burke replied, a mist gathering in her +eyes, "it's been lots of fun, and if you're satisfied I'm more than +pleased." Then, putting her arm around Mrs. Betty's waist, she +continued: + +"Remember that we're not payin' this nice little wife of yours to do +parish work, and if people interfere with her you just tell em to go +to Thunder Cliff. Good-by." + +She was turning away when suddenly she stopped, an expression of +horror on her face: + +"My! think of that now! This was a bride's dinner-party, and I put +yellow flowers on the table, instead of white! What'd city folks say +to that!" + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER XI + +VIRGINIA'S HIGH HORSE + + +Mrs. Betty soon succeeded in winning a place for herself in the hearts +of her parishioners, and those who called to look over her "clothes," +and see if she was going to "put on airs" as a city woman, called +again because they really liked her. She returned the calls with equal +interest, and soon had her part of the parish organization well in +hand. + +Maxwell's choice was, in fact, heartily approved--except by Virginia +Bascom and the Senior Warden. The former took the opportunity to +leave cards on an afternoon when all Durford was busily welcoming +Betty at a tea; and was "not at home" when Betty duly returned the +call. Virginia was also careful not to "see" either Betty or her +husband if, by any chance, they passed her when in town. + +Of all of which manoeuvres Betty and Donald remained apparently +sublimely unconscious. + +As a means of making some return for the good-hearted generosity and +hospitality of the inhabitants, represented by the furniture at the +rectory and many tea-parties under various roof-trees, Mrs. Maxwell +persuaded her husband that they should give a parish party. + +So invitations were issued broadcast, and Mrs. Burke was asked to scan +the lists, lest anyone be omitted. China sufficient for the occasion +was supplemented by Hepsey Burke and Jonathan Jackson, and Nickey laid +his invaluable services under contribution to fetch and +carry--organizing a corps of helpers. + +The whole adult village,--at least the feminine portion of it,--young +and old, presented themselves at the party, dressed in their best bibs +and tuckers, amusing themselves outdoors at various improvised games, +under the genial generalship of their host; and regaling themselves +within at the tea-tables presided over by Mrs. Betty, whose pride it +was to have prepared with her own hands,--assisted by the +indefatigable Hepsey,--all the cakes and preserves and other +confections provided for the occasion. The whole party was one +whole-hearted, simply convivial gathering--with but a single note to +mar it; and who knows whether the rector, and still less the rector's +wife, would have noticed it, but for Hepsey Burke's subsequent +"boiling over?" + +When the games and feast were at full swing, Virginia Bascom's +loud-voiced automobile drove up, and the door-bell pealed. The guests +ceased chattering and the little maid, hired for the occasion, hurried +from the tea-cups to answer the haughty summons. Through the silence +in the tea-room, produced by the overpowering clatter of the bell, the +voice of the little maid,--quite too familiar for the proper formality +of the occasion, in Virginia's opinion,--was heard to pipe out +cheerily: + +"Come right in, Miss Virginia; the folks has eat most all the +victuals--but I guess Mrs. Maxwell'll find ye some." + +"Please announce 'Miss Virginia Bascom'," droned the lady, ignoring +the untoward levity of the now cowering maid, and followed her to the +door of the room full of guests, where she paused impressively. + +"Mrs. Bascom," called the confused maid, through the solemn silence, +as all eyes turned towards the door, "here's,--this is,--I mean Miss +Virginia says Miss Virginia Maxwell----" After which confusing and +somewhat embarrassing announcement the maid summarily fled to the +kitchen, and left Virginia to her own devices. + +Betty at once came forward, and quite ignoring the error, smiled a +pleasant welcome. + +"Miss Bascom, it is very nice to know you at last. We have been so +unlucky, have we not?" + +Virginia advanced rustling, and gave Betty a frigid finger-tip, held +shoulder-high, and cast a collective stare at hostess and guests +through her lorgnette, bowing to Maxwell and ignoring his proffered +handshake. + +There was an awkward pause. For once even Betty-the-self-possessed was +at a loss for the necessary tactics. + +A hearty voice soon filled the empty spaces: "Hello there, Ginty; I +always did say those auto's was a poor imitation of a street-car; when +they get balky and leave you sticking in the road-side and make you +behind-time, you can't so much as get your fare back and walk. None +but royalty, duchesses, and the four-hundred can afford to risk +losing their cup o' tea in them things." + +There was a general laugh at Hepsey's sally, and conversation again +resumed its busy buzzing, and Virginia was obliged to realize that her +entry had been something of a frost. + +She spent some minutes drawing off her gloves, sipped twice at a cup +of tea, and nibbled once at a cake; spent several more minutes getting +her hands back into her gloves, fixed a good-by smile on her face, +murmured some unintelligible words to her hostess, and departed, +annoyed to realize that the engine of the awaiting car--kept running +to emphasize her comet-like passage through so mixed an assembly--had +become quite inaudible to the company. + +"Such an insult!" stormed the lady, as she returned home in high +dudgeon. "I might have been a nobody, the way they treated me. Dad +shall hear of this; and I'll see that he puts them where they belong. +The impudence! And after his t-treating me s-s-so!" she wept with +chagrin, and malice that betokened no good to the rector and his +little wife. + +Even so, it is doubtful if the host and hostess would have permitted +themselves to notice the supercilious rudeness of the leader of +Durford "Society," had Hepsey been able to curb her indignation. + +As she and Betty and the little maid, assisted by Donald and Nickey +and his helpers, were clearing up the fragments that remained of the +entertainment, Hepsey broke forth: + +"If I don't set that young woman down in her place where she belongs +before I've done, I've missed my guess: 'Please announce Miss Virginia +Bascom,' indeed! If that isn't sauce, I'm the goose." + +"Oh never mind, Mrs. Burke," soothed Betty in a low voice; "she'll +soon realize that we're doing things in good old country style, and +haven't brought any city ways with us to Durford. I dare say she +thought----" + +"Thought nothin'!" replied the exasperated Hepsey. "I'll thought her, +with her high looks and her proud stomach, as the psalmist says. I'd +like--oh, wouldn't I just like to send up a nice little basket of +these left-over victuals to Ginty, 'with Mrs. Maxwell's regards.'" + +She laughed heartily, but Betty was determined not to let herself +dwell on anything so trivial, and soon, by way of changing the +subject, she was putting Nickey up to the idea of forming a boy-scout +corps, which, as she added, could present the village with a +thoroughly versatile organization, both useful and ornamental. + +"Gee," remarked Nickey, who quickly saw himself captaining a body of +likely young blades, "that'd be some lively corpse, believe me. When +can we start in, Mrs. Maxwell?" + +"You must ask Mr. Maxwell all about that, Nickey," she laughed. + +"But not now," interposed his mother. "You come along with me this +minute, and let Mr. Maxwell have a bit of peace; I know how he just +loves these teas. Good night, all!" she called as she departed with +her son under her wing. + +"Donald! Wasn't it all fun--and weren't they all splendid?" Betty +glowed. + +"More fun than a barrel of Bascoms--monkeys, I mean," he corrected +himself, laughing at Betty's shocked expression. + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER XII + +HOUSE CLEANING AND BACHELORHOOD + + +Apart from Mrs. Burke, there was no one in the town who so completely +surrendered to Mrs. Maxwell's charms as Jonathan Jackson, the Junior +Warden. Betty had penetration enough to see, beneath the man's rough +exterior, all that was fine and lovable, and she treated him with a +jolly, friendly manner that warmed his heart. + +One day she and Mrs. Burke went over to call on Jonathan, and found +him sitting in the woodshed on a tub turned bottom upwards, looking +very forlorn and disconsolate. + +"What's the matter, Jonathan? You look as if you had committed the +unpardonable sin," Hepsey greeted him. + +"No, it 'aint me," Jonathan replied; "it's Mary McGuire that's the +confounded sinner this time." + +"Well, what's Mary been up to now?" + +"Mary McGuire's got one of her attacks of house-cleanin' on, and I +tell you it's a bad one. Drat the nuisance." + +"Why Jonathan! Don't swear like that." + +"Well, I be hanged if I can stand this sort of thing much longer. +Mary, she's the deuce and all, when she once gets started +house-cleanin'." + +"Oh dear," Mrs. Betty sympathized. "It's a bother, isnt it? But it +doesn't take so long, and it will soon be over, won't it?" + +"Well, I don't know as to that," replied Jonathan disconsolately. +"Mary McGuire seems to think that the whole house must be turned wrong +side out, and every bit of furniture I've got deposited in the front +yard. Now, Mrs. Betty, you just look over there once. There's yards +and yards of clothes-line covered with carpets and rugs and curtains +I've been ordered to clean. It's somethin' beyond words. The whole +place looks as if there was goin' to be an auction, or a rummage sale, +or as if we had moved out 'cause the house was afire. Then she falls +to with tubs of boilin' hot soap-suds, until it fills your lungs, and +drips off the ends of your nose and your fingers, and smells like +goodness knows what." + +"Jonathan!" Hepsey reproved. + +"Are you exaggerating just the least bit?" echoed Betty. + +"No ma'am, I'm not. Words can't begin to tell the tale when Mary gets +the fever on. I thought I noticed symptoms of house-cleanin' last +week. Mary was eyein' things round the house, and givin' me less and +less to eat, and lookin' at me with that cold-storage stare of hers +that means death or house-cleanin'." + +"But, Mr. Jackson," Betty pleaded, "your house has to be cleaned +sometimes, you know." + +"Sure thing," Jonathan replied. "But there's altogether too much of +this house-cleanin' business goin' on to suit me. I don't see any dirt +anywheres." + +"That's because you are a man," Hepsey retorted. "Men never see dirt +until they have to take a shovel to it." + +Jonathan sighed hopelessly. "What's the use of bein' a widower," he +continued, "if you can't even have your own way in your own house, +I'd just like to know? I have to eat odds and ends of cold victuals +out here in the woodshed, or anywhere Mary McGuire happens to drop +'em." + +"That's tough luck, Mr. Jackson. You just come over to dinner with +Donald and me and have a square meal." + +"I'd like to awful well, Mrs. Maxwell, but I dasn't: if I didn't camp +out and eat her cold victuals she'd laid out for me, it'd spoil the +pleasure of house-cleanin' for her. 'Taint as though it was done with +when she's finished, neither. After it's all over, and things are set +to rights, they're all wrong. Some shades won't roll up. Some won't +roll down; why, I've undressed in the dark before now, since one of +'em suddenly started rollin' up on me before I'd got into bed, and +scared the wits out of me. She'll be askin' me to let her give the +furnace a sponge bath next. I believe she'd use tooth-powder on the +inside of a boiled egg, if she only knew how. This house-cleanin' +racket is all dum nonsense, anyhow." + +"Why Jonathan! Don't swear like that," Betty exclaimed laughing; "Mr. +Maxwell's coming." + +"I said _d-u-m_, Mrs. Betty; I never say nothin' worse than +that--'cept when I lose my temper," he added, safely, examining first +the hone and then the edge of the scythe, as if intending to sharpen +it. + +[Illustration: "I AIN'T A CHICKEN NO MORE, MRS. BETTY, AND I'VE 'MOST +FORGOT HOW TO DO A BIT OF COURTIN'"] + +Hepsey had gone into the house to inspect for herself the thoroughness +of Mary McGuire's operations; Betty thought the opportunity favorable +for certain counsels. + +"The trouble with you is you shouldn't be living alone, like this, +Jonathan. You have all the disadvantages of a house, and none of the +pleasures of a home." + +"Yes," he responded, yawning, "it's true enough; but I 'aint a chicken +no more, Mrs. Betty, and I've 'most forgot how to do a bit of +courtin'. What with cleanin' up, and puttin' on your Sunday clothes, +and goin' to the barber's, and gettin' a good ready, it's a +considerable effort for an old man like me." + +"People don't want to see your clothes; they want to see you. If you +feel obliged to, you can send your Sunday clothes around some day and +let her look at them once for all. Keeping young is largely a matter +of looking after your digestion and getting plenty of sleep. Its all +foolishness for you to talk about growing old. Why, you are in the +prime of life." + +"Hm! Yes. And why don't you tell me that I look real handsome, and +that the girls are all crazy for me. You're an awful jollier, Mrs. +Betty, though I'll admit that a little jollyin' does me a powerful +lot of good now and then. I sometimes like to believe things I know +to a certainty 'aint true, if they make me feel good." + +For a moment Betty kept silent, gazing into the kindly face, and then +the instinct of match-making asserted itself too strongly to be +resisted. + +"There's no sense in your being a lonesome widower. Why don't you get +married? I mean it." + +For a moment Jonathan was too astounded at the audacity of the serious +suggestion to reply; but when he recovered his breath he exclaimed: + +"Well, I swan to man! What will you ask me to be doin' next?" + +"Oh, I mean it, all right," persisted Mrs. Betty. "Here you've got a +nice home for a wife, and I tell you you need the happiness of a real +home. You will live a whole lot longer if you have somebody to love +and look after; and if you want to know what you will be asking me to +do next, I will wager a box of candy it will be to come to your +wedding." + +"Make it cigars, Mrs. Betty; I'm not much on candy. Maybe you're up to +tellin' me who'll have me. I haven't noticed any females makin' +advances towards me in some time now. The only woman I see every day +is Mary McGuire, and she'd make a pan-cake griddle have the blues if +she looked at it." + +Mrs. Betty grasped her elbow with one hand, and putting the first +finger of the other hand along the side of her little nose, +whispered: + +"What's the matter with Mrs. Burke?" + +Jonathan deliberately pulled a hair from his small remaining crop and +cut it with the scythe, as if he had not heard Betty's impertinent +suggestion. But finally he replied: + +"There's nothin' the matter with Mrs. Burke that I know of; but that's +no reason why she should be wantin' to marry me." + +"She thinks a great deal of you; I know she does." + +"How do you know she does?" + +"Well, I heard her say something very nice about you yesterday." + +"Hm! Did you? What was it?" + +"She said that you were the most--the most economical man she ever +met." + +"Sure she didn't say I was tighter than the bark on a tree? I guess I +'aint buyin' no weddin' ring on the strength of that. Now, Mrs. Betty, +you just try again. I guess you're fooling me!" + +"Oh no, really I'm not. I never was more serious in my life. I mean +just what I say. I know Mrs. Burke really thinks a very great deal of +you, and if you like her, you ought to propose to her. Every moment a +man remains single is an outrageous waste of time." + +Jonathan grinned as he retorted: + +"Well, no man would waste any time if all the girls were like you. +They'd all be comin' early to avoid the rush. Is Mrs. Burke employin' +your services as a matrimonial agent? Maybe you won't mind tellin' me +what you're to get if the deal pulls off. Is there a rake-off +anywheres?" + +Betty laughed, and Jonathan was silent for a while, squinting at the +scythe-edge, first from one angle, then from another, and tentatively +raising the hone as if to start sharpening. + +"Well, Mrs. Betty," he said presently, "seein' I can't possibly marry +you, I don't mind tellin' you that I think the next best thing would +be to marry Hepsey Burke. She's been a mighty good friend and neighbor +ever since my wife died; but she wouldn't look at the likes of me. +'Twouldn't be the least use of proposin' to her." + +"How do you know it wouldn't? You are not afraid of proposing, are +you?" + +"No, of course not; but I can't run over and propose, as I would ask +her to lend me some clothes-line. That'd be too sudden; and courtin' +takes a lot of time and trouble. I guess I 'most forgot how by this +time; and then, to tell you the truth, I always was a bit shy. It took +me near onto five years to work myself up to the sticking point when I +proposed to my first wife." + +"Well, now that's easy enough; Mrs. Burke usually sits on the side +porch after supper with her knitting. Why don't you drop over +occasionally, and approach the matter gradually? It wouldn't take long +to work up to the point." + +"But how shall I begin? I guess you'll have to give me lessons." + +"Oh, make her think you are very lonely. Pity is akin to love, you +know." + +"But she knows well enough I'm mighty lonely at times. That won't +do." + +"Then make her think that you are a regular daredevil, and are going +to the bad. Maybe she'll marry you to save you." + +"Me, goin' to the bad at my age, and the Junior Warden of the church, +too. What are you thinkin' of?" + +"It is never too late to mend, you know. You might try being a little +frisky, and see what happens." + +"Oh, I know what would happen all right. She'd be over here in two +jerks of a lamb's tail, and read the riot act, and scare me out of a +year's growth. Hepsey's not a little thing to be playin' with." + +"Well, you just make a start. Anything to make a start, and the rest +will come easy." + +"My, how the neighbors'd talk!" + +"Talk is cheap; and besides, in a quiet place like this it's a +positive duty to afford your neighbors some diversion; you ought to be +thankful. You'll become a public benefactor. Now will you go ahead?" + +"Mrs. Betty, worry's bad for the nerves, and's apt to produce insomny +and neurastheny. But I'll think it over--yes, I will--I'll think it +over." + +Whereupon he suddenly began to whet his scythe with such vim as +positively startled Betty. + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER XIII + +THE CIRCUS + + +The Maxwells were, in fact, effectively stirring up the ambitions of +their flock, routing the older members out of a too easy-going +acceptance of things-as-they-are, and giving to the younger ones +vistas of a life imbued with more color and variety than had hitherto +entered their consciousness. And yet it happened at Durford, on +occasion, that this awakening of new talents and individuality +produced unlocked for complications. + +"Oh yes," Hepsey remarked one day to Mrs. Betty, when the subject of +conversation had turned to Mrs. Burke's son and heir, "Nickey means to +be a good boy, but he's as restless as a kitten on a hot Johnny-cake. +He isn't a bit vicious, but he do run his heels down at the corners, +and he's awful wearin' on his pants-bottoms and keeps me patchin' and +mendin' most of the time--'contributing to the end in view,' as +Abraham Lincoln said. But, woman-like, I guess he finds the warmest +spot in my heart when I'm doin' some sort of repairin' on him or his +clothes. It would be easier if his intentions wasn't so good, 'cause I +could spank him with a clear conscience if he was vicious. But after +all, Nickey seems to have a winnin' way about him. He knows every +farmer within three miles; he'll stop any team he meets, climb into +the wagon seat, take the reins, and enjoy himself to his heart's +content. All the men seem to like him and give in to him; more's the +pity! And he seems to just naturally lead the other kids in their +games and mischief." + +"Oh well, I wouldn't give a cent for a boy who didn't get into +mischief sometimes," consoled Mrs. Betty. + +At which valuation Nickey was then in process of putting himself and +his young friends at a premium. For, about this time, in their efforts +to amuse themselves, Nickey and some of his friends constructed a +circus ring back of the barn: After organizing a stock company and +conducting several rehearsals, the rest of the boys in the +neighborhood were invited to form an audience, and take seats which +had been reserved for them without extra charge on an adjoining lumber +pile. Besides the regular artists there were a number of specialists +or "freaks," who added much to the interest and excitement of the +show. + +For example, Sam Cooley, attired in one of Mrs. Burke's discarded +underskirts, filched from the ragbag, with some dried cornstalk gummed +on his face, impersonated the famous Bearded Lady from Hoboken. + +Billy Burns, wearing a very hot and stuffy pillow buttoned under his +coat and thrust down into his trousers, represented the world-renowned +Fat Man from Spoonville. His was rather a difficult role to fill +gracefully, because the squashy pillow would persist in bulging out +between his trousers and his coat in a most indecent manner; and it +kept him busy most of the time tucking it in. + +Dimple Perkins took the part of the Snake Charmer from Brooklyn, and +at intervals wrestled fearlessly with a short piece of garden hose +which was labeled on the bills as an "Anna Condy." This he wound +around his neck in the most reckless manner possible; it was quite +enough to make one's blood run cold to watch him. + +The King of the Cannibal Islands was draped in a buffalo robe, with a +gilt paper crown adorning his head, and a very suggestive mutton-bone +in his hand. + +Poor little Herman Amdursky was selected for the Living Skeleton, +because of the spindle-like character of his nethermost limbs. He had +to remove his trousers and his coat, and submit to having his ribs +wound with yards of torn sheeting, in order that what little flesh he +had might be compressed to the smallest possible compass. The result +was astonishingly satisfactory. + +The Wild Man from Borneo wore his clothes wrong side out, as it is +well known wild men from Borneo always do; and he ate grass with +avidity. Wry-mouthed and squint-eyed, he was the incarnation of the +cubist ideal. + +When all this splendid array of talent issued from the dressing-room +and marched triumphantly around the ring, it was indeed a proud moment +in the annals of Durford, and the applause from the lumber pile could +be heard at least two blocks. + +After the procession, the entertainment proper consisted of some high +and lofty tumbling, the various "turns" of the respective stars, and +then, last of all, as a grand finale, Charley, the old raw-boned farm +horse who had been retired on a pension for at least a year, was led +triumphantly into the ring, with Nickey Burke standing on his back! + +Charley, whose melancholy aspect was a trifle more abject than usual, +and steps more halting, meekly followed the procession of actors +around the ring, led by Dimple, the Snake Charmer. Nickey's entree +created a most profound sensation, and was greeted with tumultuous +applause--a tribute both to his equestrian feat and to his costume. + +Nickey had once attended a circus at which he had been greatly +impressed by the artistic decorations on the skin of a tattooed man, +and by the skill of the bareback rider who had turned somersaults +while the horse was in motion. It occurred to him that perhaps he +might present somewhat of both these attractions, in one character. + +Maxwell had innocently stimulated this taste by lending him a book +illustrated with lurid color-plates of Indians in full war paint, +according to tribe. + +So Nickey removed his clothes, attired himself in abbreviated red +swimming trunks, and submitted to the artistic efforts of Dimple, who +painted most intricate, elaborate, and beautiful designs on Nickey's +person, with a thick solution of indigo purloined from the laundry. + +Nickey's breast was adorned with a picture of a ship under full sail. +On his back was a large heart pierced with two arrows. A vine of full +blown roses twined around each arm, while his legs were powdered with +stars, periods, dashes, and exclamation points in rich profusion. A +triangle was painted on each cheek, and dabs of indigo were added to +the end of his nose and to the lobe of each ear by way of finishing +touches. + +When the work was complete, Nickey surveyed himself in a piece of +broken mirror in the dressing-room, and to tell the truth, was +somewhat appalled at his appearance; but Dimple Perkins hastened to +assure him, saying that a dip in the river would easily remove the +indigo; and that he was the living spit and image of a tattooed man, +and that his appearance, posed on the back of Charley, would certainly +bring the house down. + +Dimple proved to be quite justified in his statement, so far as the +effect on the audience was concerned; for, as Nickey entered the ring, +after one moment of breathless astonishment, the entire crowd arose as +one man and cheered itself hoarse, in a frenzy of frantic delight. Now +whether Charley was enthused by the applause, or whether the situation +reminded him of some festive horseplay of his youth, one cannot tell. +At any rate, what little life was left in Charley's blood asserted +itself. Quickly jerking the rope of the halter from the astonished +hand of Dimple Perkins, Charley turned briskly round, and trotted out +of the yard and into the road, while Nickey, who had found himself +suddenly astride Charley's back, made frantic efforts to stop him. + +As Charley emerged from the gate, the freaks, the regular artists, the +gymnasts, and the entire audience followed, trailing along behind the +mounted tattooed man, and shouting themselves hoarse with +encouragement or derision. + +As Charley rose to the occasion and quickened his pace, the heat of +the sun, the violent exercise of riding bareback, and the nervous +excitement produced by the horror of the situation, threw Nickey into +a profuse sweat. The bluing began to run. The decorations on his +forehead trickled down into his eyes; and as he tried to rub off the +moisture with the back of his hand the indigo was smeared liberally +over his face. His personal identity was hopelessly obscured in the +indigo smudge; and the most vivid imagination could not conjecture +what had happened to the boy. It was by no means an easy feat to +retain his seat on Charley's back; it would have been still more +difficult to dismount, at his steed's brisk pace; and Nickey was most +painfully conscious of his attire, as Charley turned up the road which +led straight to the village. At each corner the procession was +reinforced by a number of village boys who added their quota to the +general uproar and varied the monotony of the proceeding by +occasionally throwing a tin can at the rider on the white horse. When +Charley passed the rectory, and the green, and turned into Church +Street, Nickey felt that he had struck rock bottom of shameful +humiliation. + +For many years it had been Charley's habit to take Mrs. Burke down to +church on Wednesday afternoons for the five o'clock service; and +although he had been out of commission and docked for repairs for some +time, his subliminal self must have got in its work, and the old habit +asserted itself: to the church he went, attended at a respectful +distance by the Bearded Lady, the Fat Man, the Snake Charmer, the King +of the Cannibal Islands, the Living Skeleton, and the Wild Man from +Borneo, to say nothing of a large and effective chorus of roaring +villagers bringing up the rear. + +It really was quite clever of Charley to recall that, this being +Wednesday, it was the proper day to visit the church,--as clever as it +was disturbing to Nickey when he, too, recalled that it was about +time for the service to be over, and that his mother must be somewhere +on the premises, to say nothing of the assembled mothers of the entire +stock company--and the rector, and the rector's wife. + +Mrs. Burke, poor woman, was quite unconscious of what awaited her, as +she emerged from the service with the rest of the congregation. It was +an amazed parent that caught sight of her son and heir scrambling off +the back of his steed onto the horse-block in front of the church, +clad in short swimming trunks and much bluing. The freaks, the regular +artists, the gymnasts, and the circus audience generally shrieked and +howled and fought each other, in frantic effort to succeed to Nickey's +place on Charley's back--for Charley now stood undismayed and +immovable, with a gentle, pious look in his soft old eyes. + +For one instant, Mrs. Burke and her friends stood paralyzed with +horror; and then like the good mothers in Israel that they were, each +jumped to the rescue of her own particular darling--that is, as soon +as she could identify him. Consternation reigned supreme. Mrs. Cooley +caught the Bearded Lady by the arm and shook him fiercely, just as he +was about to land an uppercut on the jaw of the King of the Cannibal +Islands. Mrs. Burns found her offspring, the Fat Man, lying +dispossessed on his back in the gutter, while Sime Wilkins, the Man +Who Ate Glass, sat comfortably on his stomach. Sime immediately +apologized to Mrs. Burns and disappeared. Next, Mrs. Perkins took the +Snake Charmer by his collar, and rapped him soundly with the piece of +garden hose which she captured as he was using it to chastise the +predatory Wild Man from Borneo. Other members of the company received +equally unlooked-for censure of their dramatic efforts. + +Nickey, meantime, had fled to the pump behind the church, where he +made his ablutions as best he could; then, seeing the vestry room door +ajar, he, in his extremity, bolted for the quiet seclusion of the +sanctuary. + +To his surprise and horror, he found Maxwell seated at a table looking +over the parish records; and when Nickey appeared, still rather blue, +attired in short red trunks, otherwise unadorned, Donald gazed at him +in mute astonishment. For one moment there was silence as they eyed +each other; and then Maxwell burst into roars of uncontrollable +laughter, which were not quite subdued as Nickey gave a rather +incoherent account of the misfortune which had brought him to such a +predicament. + +"So you were the Tattooed Man, were you! Well, I suppose you know +that it's not generally customary to appear in church in red tights; +but as you couldn't help it, I shall have to see what can be done for +you, to get you home clothed and in your right mind. I'll tell you! +You can put on one of the choir boy's cassocks, and skip home the back +way. If anybody stops you tell them you were practising for the choir, +and it will be all right. But really, Nickey, if I were in your place, +the next time I posed as a mounted Tattooed Man, I'd be careful to +choose some old quadruped that couldn't run away with you!" + +"Then you aren't mad at me!" + +"Certainly not. I'll leave that to my betters! You just get home as +fast as you can." + +"Gee! but you're white all right--you know it didn't say nothing in +the book, about what kind of paint to use!" + +Maxwell's eyes opened. "What book are you talking about, Nickey?" he +asked. + +"The one you let me take, with the Indians in it." + +Maxwell had to laugh again. "So that's where the idea for this +'Carnival of Wild West Sports' originated, eh?" + +"Yes, sir," Nickey nodded. "Everybody wanted to be the tattooed man, +but seeing as I had the book, and old Charley was my horse, I couldn't +see any good reason why I shouldn't get tattooed. Gee! I'll bet ma +will be mad!" + +After being properly vested in a cassock two sizes too large for him, +Nickey started on a dead run for home, and, having reached the barn, +dressed himself in his customary attire. When he appeared at supper +Mrs. Burke did not say anything; but after the dishes were washed she +took him apart and listened to his version of the affair. + +"Nicholas Burke," she said, "if this thing occurs again I shall punish +you in a way you won't like." + +"Well, I'm awfully sorry," said Nickey, "but it didn't seem to feaze +Mr. Maxwell a little bit. He just sat and roared as if he'd split his +sides. I guess I 'aint goin' to be put out of the church just yet, +anyway." + +Mrs. Burke looked a bit annoyed. + +"Never mind about Mr. Maxwell. _You_ won't laugh if anything like this +occurs again, I can tell you," she replied. + +"Now, ma," soothed Nickey, "don't you worry about it occurrin' again. +You don't suppose I did it on purpose, do you? Gosh no! I wouldn't get +onto Charley's back again, with my clothes off, any more than I'd sit +on a hornet's nest. How'd you like to ride through the town with +nothin' on but your swimmin' trunks and drippin' with bluin water, +I'd like to know?" + +Mrs. Burke did not care to prolong the interview any further, so she +said in her severest tones: + +"Nicholas Burke, you go to bed instantly. I've heard enough of you and +seen enough of you, for one day." + +Nickey went. + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER XIV + +ON THE SIDE PORCH + + +In the evening, after his work was done, a day or two after his talk +with Mrs. Maxwell, Jonathan went into the house and took a long look +at himself in the glass, with the satisfactory conclusion that he +didn't look so old after all. Why shouldn't he take Mrs. Betty's +advice and marry? To be sure, there was no fool like an old fool, but +no man could be called a fool who was discriminating enough, and +resourceful enough, to win the hand of Hepsey Burke. To his certain +knowledge she had had plenty of eligible suitors since her husband's +death. She was the acknowledged past-master of doughnuts; and her +pickled cucumbers done in salad oil were dreams of delight. What more +could a man want? + +So he found that the question was deciding itself apparently without +any volition whatever on his part. His fate was sealed; he had lost +his heart and his appetite to his neighbor. Having come to this +conclusion, it was wonderful how the thought excited him. He took a +bath and changed his clothes, and then proceeded to town and bought +himself a white neck-tie, and a scarf-pin that cost seventy-five +cents. He was going to do the thing in the proper way if he did it at +all. + +After supper he mustered sufficient courage to present himself at the +side porch where Mrs. Burke was knitting on a scarlet sweater for +Nickey. + +"Good evenin', Hepsey," he began. "How are you feelin' to-night?" + +"Oh, not so frisky as I might, Jonathan; I'd be all right if it +weren't for my rheumatiz." + +"Well, we all have our troubles, Hepsey; and if it isn't one thing +it's most generally another. You mustn't rebel against rheumatiz. It's +one of those things sent to make us better, and we must bear up +against it, you know." + +Hepsey did not respond to this philosophy, and Jonathan felt that it +was high time that he got down to business. So he began again: + +"It seems to me as if we might have rain before long if the wind don't +change." + +"Shouldn't be surprised, Jonathan. One--two--three--four--" Mrs. Burke +replied, her attention divided between her visitor and her sweater. +"Got your hay all in?" + +"Yes, most of it. 'Twon't be long before the long fall evenin's will +be comin' on, and I kinder dread 'em. They're awful lonesome, +Hepsey." + +"Purl two, knit two, an inch and a half--" Mrs. Burke muttered to +herself as she read the printed directions which lay in her lap, and +then she added encouragingly: + +"So you get lonesome, do you, Jonathan, durin' the long evenin's, when +it gets dark early." + +"Oh, awful lonesome," Jonathan responded. "Don't you ever get lonesome +yourself, Hepsey?" + +"I can't say as it kept me awake nights. 'Tisn't bein' alone that +makes you lonesome. The most awful lonesomeness in the world is bein' +in a crowd that's not your kind." + +"That's so, Hepsey. But two isn't a crowd. Don't you think you'd like +to get married, if you had a right good chance, now?" + +Hepsey gave her visitor a quick, sharp glance, and inquired: + +"What would you consider a right good chance, Jonathan?" + +"Oh, suppose that some respectable widower with a tidy sum in the bank +should ask you to marry him; what would you say, Hepsey?" + +"Can't say until I'd seen the widower, to say nothin' of the bank +book--one, two, three, four, five, six--" + +Jonathan felt that the crisis was now approaching; so, moving his +chair a little nearer, he resumed excitedly: + +"You've seen him, Hepsey; you've seen him lots of times, and he don't +live a thousand miles away, neither." + +"Hm! Must be he lives in Martin's Junction. Is he good lookin', +Jonathan?" + +"Oh, fair to middlin'. That is--of course--I well--I--I should think +he was; but tastes differ." + +"Well, you know I'm right particular, Jonathan. Is he real smart and +clever?" + +"I don't know as--I ought to--to--say, Hepsey; but I rather guess he +knows enough to go in when it rains." + +"That's good as far as it goes. The next time you see him, you tell +him to call around and let me look him over. Maybe I could give him a +job on the farm, even if I didn't want to marry him." + +"But he doesn't want any job on the farm, Hepsey. He just wants you, +that's all." + +"How do you know he does? Did he ever tell you?" + +"Hepsey Burke, don't you know who I'm alludin' at? Haven't you ever +suspected nothin'?" + +"Yes, I've suspected lots of things. Now there's Jack Dempsey. I've +suspected him waterin' the milk for some time. Haven't you ever +suspected anythin' yourself, Jonathan?" + +"Well, I guess I'm suspectin' that you're tryin' to make a fool of me, +all right." + +"Oh no! Fools come ready-made, and there's a glut in the market just +now; seven--eight--nine--ten; no use makin' more until the supply's +exhausted. But what made you think you wanted to marry? This is so +powerful sudden." + +Now that the point was reached, Jonathan got a little nervous: "To--to +tell you the truth, Hepsey," he stuttered, "I was in doubt about it +myself for some time; but bein' as I am a Christian man I turned to +the Bible for light on my path." + +"Hm! And how did the light shine?" + +"Well, I just shut my eyes and opened my Bible at random, and put my +finger on a text. Then I opened my eyes and read what was written." + +"Yes! What did you find?" + +"I read somethin' about 'not a man of them escaped save six hundred +that rode away on camels.'" + +"Did that clear up all your difficulties?" + +"No, can't say as it did. But those words about 'no man escapin'' +seemed to point towards matrimony as far as they went. Then I tried a +second time." + +"Oh did you? I should think that six hundred camels would be enough +for one round-up. What luck did you have the second time?" + +"Well, I read, 'Moab is my wash pot, over Edom will I cast out my +shoe.' You've seen 'em cast shoes at the carriages of brides and +grooms, haven't you, Hepsey? Just for luck, you know. So it seemed to +point towards matrimony again." + +"Say, Jonathan, you certainly have a wonderful gift for interpretin' +Scripture." + +"Well, Scripture or no Scripture, I want you, Hepsey." + +"Am I to understand that you're just fadin' and pinin' away for love +of me? You don't look thin." + +"Oh, we 'aint neither of us as young as we once was, Hepsey. Of course +I can't be expected to pine real hard." + +"I'm afraid it's not the real thing, Jonathan, unless you pine. Don't +it keep you awake nights, or take away your appetite, or make you want +to play the banjo, or nothin'?" + +"No, Hepsey; to tell you the plain truth, it don't. But I feel awful +lonesome, and I like you a whole lot, and I--I love you as much as +anyone, I guess." + +"So you are in love are you, Jonathan. Then let me give you some good +advice. When you're in love, don't believe all you think, or half you +feel, or anything at all you are perfectly sure of. It's dangerous +business. But I am afraid that you're askin' me because it makes you +think that you are young and giddy, like the rest of the village boys, +to be proposin' to a shy young thing like me." + +"No, Hepsey; you aren't no shy young thing, and you haven't been for +nigh on forty years. I wouldn't be proposin' to you if you were." + +"Jonathan, your manners need mendin' a whole lot. The idea of +insinuatin' that I am not a shy young thing. I'm ashamed of you, and +I'm positive we could never get along together." + +"But I can't tell a lie about you, even if I do want to marry you. +You don't want to marry a liar, do you?" + +"Well, the fact is, Jonathan, polite lyin's the real foundation of all +good manners. What we'll ever do when we get to heaven where we have +to tell the truth whether we want to or not, I'm sure I don't know. +It'll be awful uncomfortable until we get used to it." + +"The law says you should tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothin' +but the truth," persisted the literal wooer. + +"Now, see here, Jonathan. Would you say that a dog's tail was false +and misleadin' just because it isn't the whole dog?" + +This proposition was exceedingly confusing to Jonathan's intelligence, +but after careful consideration he felt obliged to say "No." + +"Of course you wouldn't," Mrs. Burke continued triumphantly, quickly +following up her advantage. "You see a dog's tail couldn't be +misleading, 'cause the dog leads the tail, and not the tail the dog. +Any fool could see that." + +Jonathan felt that he had been tricked, although he could not see just +how the thing had been accomplished; so he began again: + +"Now Hepsey, we're wanderin' from the point, and you're just talkin' +to amuse yourself. Can't you come down to business? Here I am a +widower, and here you are a widowess, and we're both lonesome, and +we----" + +"Who told you I was lonesome, I'd like to know?" + +"Well, of course you didn't, 'cause you never tell anything to anyone. +But I guessed you was sometimes, from the looks of you." + +Hepsey bent her head over her work and counted stitches a long time +before she looked up. Then she remarked slowly: + +"There's an awful lot of sick people in the world, and I'm mighty +sorry for 'em; but they'll die, or they'll get well. I guess I'm more +sorry for people who have to go on livin', and workin' hard, when +they're just dyin' for somebody to love 'em, and somebody to love, +until the pain of it hurts like a wisdom tooth. No, I can't afford to +be lonesome much, and that's a fact. So I just keep busy, and if I get +too lonesome, I just go and jolly somebody that's lonesomer than I am, +and we both feel better; and if I get lonely lyin' awake at night, I +light a lamp and read Webster's Dictionary. Try it, Jonathan; it's a +sure anti-doubt." + +"There you go again, tryin' to change the subject, just when I thought +you was goin' to say somethin'." + +"But you don't really want to marry me. I'm not young, and I'm not +interestin': one or the other you've just got to be." + +"You're mighty interestin' to me, Hepsey, anyway; and--and you're +mighty unselfish." + +"Well, you needn't throw that in my face; I'm not to blame for bein' +unselfish. I've just had to be, whether I wanted or not. It's my +misfortune, not my fault. Lots of people are unselfish because they're +too weak to stand up for their own rights." She paused--and then +looked up at him, smiling whimsically, and added: "Well, well, +Jonathan; see here now--I'll think it over, and perhaps some day +before--_go 'way_, you horrid thing! Let go my hand, I tell you. +There! You've made me drop a whole row of stitches. If you don't run +over home right now, before you're tempted to do any more flirtin, +I'll--I'll hold you for breach of promise." + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER XV + +NICKEY'S SOCIAL AMBITIONS + + +To Nickey, the Maxwells were in the nature of a revelation. At his +impressionable stage of boyhood, and because of their freedom from +airs and graces of any kind, he was quick to notice the difference in +type--"some class to them; not snobs or dudes, but the real thing," as +he expressed it. His ardent admiration of Donald, and his adoration of +Mrs. Betty, gave him ambition to find the key to their secret, and to +partake of it. + +He was too shy to speak of it,--to his mother last of all, as is the +nature of a boy,--and had to rely on an observant and receptive mind +for the earlier steps in his quest. When Maxwell boarded with them, +Nickey had discovered that he was won't to exercise with dumb-bells +each morning before breakfast. The very keenness of his desire to be +initiated, held him silent. A visit to the town library, on his +mother's behalf, chanced to bring his eyes--generally oblivious of +everything in the shape of a book--upon the title of a certain volume +designed to instruct in various parlor-feats of physical prowess. + +The book was borrowed from the librarian,--a little shamefacedly. The +next morning Mrs. Burke was somewhat alarmed at the noise which came +from Nickey's room, and when there was a crash as if the chimney had +fallen, she could stand it no longer, and hurried aloft. Nickey stood +in the middle of the floor, clad in swimming trunks, gripping a large +weight (purloined from the barn) in either hand, very red in the face, +and much out of breath. + +As the door unexpectedly opened he dived for bed and pulled the +clothes under his chin. + +"Land Sakes!" Hepsey breathed, aghast. "What's all this about? If +there's a nail loose in the flooring I can lend you a hammer for the +asking," and she examined several jagged dents in the boards. + +"Say ma," urged Nickey in moving tones. "If I'd a pair of dumb-bells +like Mr. Maxwell's, I c'd hold onto 'em. I've pretty near smashed my +feet with them things--gosh darn it," he added ruefully, nursing the +bruised member under the clothes. + +"I guess you can get 'em, next time you go to Martin's Junction; but +if it's exercise you want," his parent remarked unsympathetically, +"there's plenty of kindlin' in the woodshed wants choppin'." + +She retired chuckling to herself, as she caught a glimmer of what was +working in her son's mind. + +The "reading habit" having been inculcated by this lucky find at the +library, it was not long before Nickey acquired from the same source a +veritable collection of volumes on the polite arts and crafts--"The +Ready Letter-Writer"; "Manners Maketh Man"; "Seven Thousand Errors of +Speech;" "Social Culture in the Smart Set," and the like. + +Nickey laboriously studied from these authorities how to enter a ball +room, how to respond to a toast at a dinner given in one's honor, how +to propose the health of his hostess, and how to apologize for +treading on a lady's train. + +In the secrecy of his chamber he put into practice the helpful +suggestions of these invaluable manuals. He bowed to the washstand, +begged the favor of the next dance from the towel rack, trod on the +window shade and made the prescribed apology. Then he discussed the +latest novel at dinner with a distinguished personage; and having +smoked an invisible cigar, interspersed with such wit as accords with +walnuts and wine, after the ladies had retired, he entered the +drawing-room, exchanged parting amenities with the guests, bade his +hostess good night, and gracefully withdrew to the clothes-press. + +Several times Hepsey caught glimpses of him going through the dumb +show of "Social Culture in the Smart Set," and her wondering soul was +filled with astonishment at his amazing evolutions. She found it in +her heart to speak of it to Mrs. Betty and Maxwell, and ask for their +interpretation of the matter. + +So, one day, during this seizure of feverish enthusiasm for +self-culture, Hepsey and Nickey received an invitation to take supper +at the rectory. Nevertheless, Mrs. Burke thought it prudent to give +her son some good advice in regard to his behavior. She realized, +perhaps, that a book is good so far as it goes, but is apt to ignore +elementals. So she called him aside before they started: + +"Now, Nickey, remember to act like a gentleman, especially at the +table; you must try to do credit to your bringin' up." + +"Yes, I'll do my level best if it kills me," the boy replied. + +"Well, what do you do with your napkin when you first sit down to the +table?" + +"Tie it 'round my neck, of course!" + +"Oh, no, you mustn't do anything of the sort; you must just tuck it in +your collar, like any gentleman would. And when we come home what are +you goin' to say to Mrs. Maxwell?" + +"Oh, I'll say, 'I'll see you later.'" + +"Mercy no! Say, 'I've had a very nice time.'" + +"But suppose I didn't have a nice time,--what'd I say?" + +For a moment Hepsey struggled to reconcile her code of ethics with her +idea of good manners, and then replied: + +"Why say, 'Mrs. Maxwell, it was awfully good of you to ask me,' and I +don't believe she'll notice anything wrong about that." + +"Hm!" Nickey retorted scornfully. "Seems pretty much like the same +thing to me." + +"Oh no! Not in the least. Now what will you wear when we go to the +rectory?" + +"My gray suit, and tan shoes, and the green tie with the purple spots +on it." + +"Who'll be the first to sit down to the table?" + +"Search me--maybe I will, if there's good eats." + +"Nonsense! You must wait for Mrs. Maxwell and the rector to be seated +first." + +"Well," Nickey exclaimed in exasperation, "I'm bound to make some +horrible break anyway, so don't you worry, ma. It seems to me from +what them books say, that when you go visitin' you've got to tell lies +like a sinner; and you can't tell the truth till you get home with the +door shut. I never was good at lyin'; I always get caught." + +"It isn't exactly lyin', Nickey; its just sayin' nice things, and +keepin' your mouth shut about the rest. Now suppose you dropped a fork +under the table, what'd you say?" + +"I'd say ''scuse me, Mrs. Maxwell, but one of the forks has gone, and +you can go through my clothes if you want to before I go home.'" + +"Hm!" Hepsey remarked dryly, "I guess the less you say, the better." + +Arrived at the rectory, Nickey felt under some restraint when they +first sat down to the supper table; but under the genial manner of +Mrs. Maxwell he soon felt at his ease, and not even his observant +mother detected any dire breach of table etiquette. His conversation +was somewhat spare, his attention being absorbed and equally divided +between observation of his host and consumption of the feast set +before him. With sure tact, Mrs. Betty--though regarding Nickey as the +guest of honor--that evening--deferred testing the results of his +conversational studies until after supper: one thing at once, she +decided, was fair play. + +After the meal was over, they repaired together to the parlor, and +while Hepsey took out her wash-rag knitting and Maxwell smoked his +cigar, Mrs. Betty gave Nickey her undivided attention. + +In order to interest the young people of the place in the missionary +work of the parish, Mrs. Betty had organized a guild of boys who were +to earn what they could towards the support of a missionary in the +west. The Guild had been placed under the fostering care and +supervision of Nickey as its treasurer, and was known by the name of +"The Juvenile Band of Gleaners." In the course of the evening Mrs. +Maxwell took occasion to inquire what progress they were making, +thereby unconsciously challenging a somewhat surprising recountal. + +"Well," Nickey replied readily, "we've got forty-six cents in the +treasury; that's just me, you know; I keep the cash in my pants +pocket." + +Then he smiled uneasily, and fidgeted in his chair. + +There was something in Nickey's tone and look that excited Mrs. +Betty's curiosity, and made his mother stop knitting and look at him +anxiously over her glasses. + +"That is very good for a start," Mrs. Betty commended. "How did you +raise all that, Nickey?" + +For a moment Nickey colored hotly, looked embarrassed, and made no +reply. Then mustering up his courage, and laughing, he began: + +"Well, Mrs. Maxwell, it was just like this. Maybe you won't like it, +but I'll tell you all the same. Bein' as I was the president of the +Juv'nul Band of Gleaners, I though I'd get the kids together, and +start somethin'. Saturday it rained cats and dogs, so Billy Burns, Sam +Cooley, Dimple Perkins and me, we went up into the hay loft, and I +said to the kids, 'You fellows have got to cough up some dough for the +church, and----'" + +"Contribute money, Nickey. Don't be slangy," his mother interjected. + +"Well I says, 'I'm runnin' the Juv'nals, and you've got to do just +what I say. I've got a dandy scheme for raisin' money and we'll have +some fun doin' it, or I miss my guess.' Then I asked Sam Cooley how +much money he'd got, and Sam, he had forty-four cents, Billy Burns had +fifty-two cents, and Dimple had only two. Dimp never did have much +loose cash, anyway. But I said to Dimp, 'Never mind, Dimp; you aint +to blame. Your dad's an old skinflint. I'll lend you six to start off +with.' Then I made Billy Burns sweep the floor, while Sam went down to +the chicken yard and caught my bantam rooster, Tooley. Then I sent +Dimp after some chalk, and an empty peach basket, and a piece of cord. +Then we was ready for business. + +"I marked a big circle on the barn floor with the chalk, and divided +it into four quarters with straight lines runnin' through the middle. +Then I turned the peach basket upside down, and tied one end of the +string on the bottom, and threw the other end up over a beam overhead, +so I could pull the basket off from the floor up to the beam by the +string. You see," Nickey illustrated with graphic gestures, "the +basket hung just over the middle of the circle like a bell. Then I +took the rooster and stuck him under the basket. Tooley hollered and +scratched like Sam Hill and----" + +"For mercy sake, Nickey! What will you say next?" + +"Say, ma, you just wait and see. Well, Tooley kicked like everything, +but he had to go under just the same. Then I said to the kids to sit +around the circle on the floor, and each choose one of the four +quarters for hisself,--one for each of us. 'Now,' I said, 'you must +each cough up----'" + +"Nicholas!" + +"Oh ma, do let me tell it without callin' me down every time. 'You +kids must hand out a cent apiece and put it on the floor in your own +quarter. Then, when I say ready, I'll pull the string and raise the +basket and let Tooley out. Tooley'll get scared and run. If he runs +off the circle through my quarter, then the four cents are mine; but +if he runs through Dimp's quarter, then the four cents are Dimp's.' + +"It was real excitin' when I pulled the string, and the basket went +up. You'd ought to 've been there, Mrs. Maxwell. You'd have laughed +fit to split----" + +"Nicholas Burke, you must stop talkin' like that, or I'll send you +home," reproved Mrs. Burke, looking severely at her son, and with +deprecating side-glances at his audience. + +"Excuse me, ma. It will be all over in a minute. But really, you'd +have laughed like sin--I mean you'd have just laughed yourself sick. +Tooley was awful nervous when the basket went up. For a minute he +crouched and stood still, scared stiff at the three kids, all yellin' +like mad; then he ducked his head and bolted off the circle through my +quarter and flew up on a beam. I thought the kids would bust." + +Mrs. Burke sighed heavily. + +"Well, burst, then. But while they were laughin' I raked in the cash. +You see I just had to. I won it for fair. I'd kept quiet, and that's +why Tooley come across my quarter." + +Mrs. Maxwell was sorting over her music, while Maxwell's face was +hidden behind a paper. Mrs. Burke was silent through despair. Nickey +glanced furtively at his hearers for a moment and then continued: + +"Yes, the kids was tickled; but they got awful quiet when I told them +to fork over another cent apiece for the jack-pot." + +"What in the name of conscience is a jack-pot?" Hepsey asked. + +Donald laughed and Nickey continued: + +"A jack-pot's a jack-pot; there isn't no other name that I ever heard +of. We caught Tooley and stuck him under the basket, and made him do +it all over again. You see, every time when Tooley got loose, the kids +all leant forward and yelled like mad; but I just kept my mouth shut, +and leaned way back out of the way so that Tooley'd run out through my +quarter. So I won most all the time." + +There was a pause, while Nickey looked a bit apprehensively at his +audience. But he went on gamely to the end of the chapter. + +"Once Tooley made a bolt in a straight line through Dimp's quarter, +and hit Dimp in the mouth, and bowled him over like a nine-pin. Dimp +was scared to death, and howled like murder till he found he'd scooped +the pot; then he got quiet. After we made Tooley run ten times, he +struck work and wouldn't run any more; so we just had to let him go; +but I didn't care nothn' about that, 'cause you see I had the kids' +cash in my pants pocket, and that was what I was after. Well, sir, +when it was all over, 'cause I'd busted the bank----" + +"Nicholas Burke, I am ashamed of you." + +"Never mind, ma; I'm most through now. When they found I'd busted the +bank, they looked kind of blue, and Dimp Perkins said it was a skin +game, and I was a bunco steerer." + +"What did you say to that?" Donald inquired. + +"Oh, I just said it was all for religion, it was church money, and it +was all right. I was just gleanin' what few cents they had, to pay the +church debt to the missionary; and they ought to be ashamed to have a +church debt hangin' over 'em, and they'd oughter be more cheerful +'bout givin' a little somethin' toward raisin' of it." + +When Nickey had finished, there was an ominous silence for a moment +or two, and then his mother said sternly: + +"What do you suppose Mrs. Perkins will say when she finds that you've +tricked her son into a regular gambling scheme, to get his money away +from him?" + +"Mrs. Perkins," retorted Nickey, thoroughly aroused by the soft +impeachment. "I should worry! At the church fair, before Mr. Maxwell +came, she ran a fancy table, and tried to sell a baby blanket to an +old bachelor; but he wouldn't take it. Then when he wasn't lookin', +blessed if she didn't turn around and tie the four corners together +with a bit of ribbon, and sell it to him for a handkerchief case. She +got two dollars for it, and it wasn't worth seventy-five cents. She +was as proud as a dog with two tails, and went around tellin' +everybody." + +Silence reigned, ominous and general, and Nickey braced himself for +the storm. Even Mrs. Maxwell didn't look at him, and that was pretty +bad. He began to get hot all over, and the matter was fast assuming a +new aspect in his own mind which made him ashamed of himself. His +spirits sank lower and lower. Finally his mother remarked quietly: + +"Nickey, I thought you were goin' to be a gentleman." + +"That's straight, all right, what I've told you," he murmured +abashed. + +There was another silent pause--presently broken by Nickey. + +"I guess I hadn't thought about it, just that way. I guess I'll give +the kids their money back," he volunteered despondently--"only I'll +have to make it up, some way, in the treasury." He felt in his +pockets, and jingled the coins. + +Another pause--with only the ticking of his mother's knitting needles +to relieve the oppressive silence. Suddenly the worried pucker +disappeared from his brow, and his face brightened like a sun-burst. + +"I've got it, Mrs. Maxwell," he cried. "I've got seventy-five cents +comin' to me down at the Variety Store, for birch-bark frames, and +I'll give that for the blamed old missionaries. That's square, 'aint +it now?" + +Mrs. Betty's commendation and her smile were salve to the wounds of +her young guest, and Donald's hearty laughter soon dispelled the sense +of social failure which was beginning to cloud Nickey's happy spirit. + +"Say Nickey," said Maxwell, throwing down his paper, "Mrs. Betty and I +want to start a Boy Scout Corps in the parish, and with your +resourceful genius you could get the boys together, and explain it to +them, and soon we should have the whole thing in ship-shape order. +Will you do it?" + +"Will I?" exclaimed the delighted recruit. "I guess so--but some of +'em 'aint 'Piscopals, Mr. Maxwell; there's Sam Cooley, he's a +Methodist, and----" + +"That doesn't cut any ice, Nickey,--excuse my slang, ladies," he +apologized to his wife and Hepsey, at which the boy grinned with +delight. "We're out to welcome all comers. I've got the books that we +shall need upstairs. Let's go up to my den and talk it all over. We +shall have to spend evenings getting thoroughly up in it +ourselves,--rules and knots and first-aid and the rest. Mrs. Burke +will allay parental anxiety as to the bodily welfare of the recruits +and the pacific object of the organization, and Mrs. Maxwell will make +the colors. Come on!" + +With sparkling eyes, Nickey followed Donald out of the room; as they +disappeared Hepsey slowly shook her head in grateful deprecation at +Betty. + +"Bless him!" ejaculated Hepsey. "Mixin' up religion, with a little +wholesome fun, is the only way you can serve it to boys, like Nickey, +and get results. Boys that are ever goin' to amount to anything are +too full of life to stand 'em up in a row, with a prayer book in one +hand and a hymnal in the other, and expect 'em to sprout wings. It +can't be done. Keep a boy outside enough and he'll turn out alright. +Fresh air and open fields have a mighty helpful influence on 'em. The +way I've got it figgered out, all of us can absorb a lot of the right +kind of religion, if we'll only go out and watch old Mother Nature, +now and then." + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER XVI + +PRACTICAL TEMPERANCE REFORM + + +The small town of Durford was not immune from the curse of drink: +there was no doubt about that. Other forms of viciousness there were +in plenty; but the nine saloons did more harm than all the rest of the +evil influences put together, and Maxwell, though far from being a +fanatic, was doing much in a quiet way to neutralize their bad +influence. He turned the Sunday School room into a reading room during +the week days, organized a gymnasium, kept watch of the younger men +individually, and offered as best he could some chance for the +expression of the gregarious instinct which drew them together after +the work of the day was over. In the face of his work in these +directions, it happened that a venturesome and enterprising +saloon-keeper bought a vacant property adjacent to the church, and +opened up an aggressive business--much to Maxwell's dismay. + +Among the women of the parish there was a "Ladies' Temperance League," +of which Mrs. Burke was president. They held quarterly meetings, and +it was at one of the meetings held at Thunder Cliff, and at which Mrs. +Burke presided, that she remarked severely: + +"Mrs. Sapley, you're out of order. There's a motion before the house, +and I've got something to say about it myself. Mrs. Perkins, as Mrs. +Maxwell was unable to be present, will you kindly take the chair, or +anything else you can lay your hands on, and I'll say what I've got to +say." + +Mrs. Perkins took Mrs. Burke's place as the president, while Mrs. +Burke rubbed her glasses in an impatient way; and having adjusted +them, began in a decided tone from which there was meant to be no +appeal: + +"The fact is, ladies, we're not gettin' down to business as we ought +to, if we are to accomplish anything. We've been singing hymns, and +recitin' lovely poems, and listenin' to reports as to how money spent +for liquor would pay off the national debt; and we've been sayin' +prayers, and pledgin' ourselves not to do things none of us ever was +tempted to do, or thought of doin', and wearin' ribbons, and attendin' +conventions, and talkin' about influencin' legislation at Washington, +and eatin' sandwiches, and drinkin' weak tea, and doin' goodness knows +what; but we've not done a blessed thing to stop men drinkin' right +here in Durford and breakin' the town law; you know that well +enough." + +Mrs. Burke paused for breath after this astounding revolutionary +statement, and there was a murmur of scandalized dissent from the +assembled ladies at this outspoken expression on the part of the +honorable president of the Parish Guild. + +"No," she continued emphatically, "don't you fool yourselves. If we +can't help matters right here where we live, then there's no use +havin' imitation church sociables, and goin' home thinkin' we've +helped the temperance cause, and callin' everybody else bad names who +don't exactly agree with us." + +Again there were symptoms of open rebellion against this traitorous +heresy on the part of the plainspoken president; but she was not to +be easily silenced; so she continued: + +"Men have got to go somewheres when their work is over, and have a +good time, and I believe that we won't accomplish anything until we +fix up a nice, attractive set of rooms with games, and give 'em +something to drink." + +Cries of "Oh! Oh! Oh!" filled the room. + +"I didn't say whiskey, did I? Anybody would think I'd offered to treat +you, the way you receive my remarks. Now we can't get the rooms right +off, 'cause we can't yet afford to pay the rent of 'em. But there's +one thing we can do. There's Silas Bingham--the new man. He's gone and +opened a saloon within about a hundred feet of the church, and he's +sellin' liquor to children and runnin' a slot machine besides. It's +all against the law; but if you think the village trustees are goin' +to do anythin' to enforce the law, you're just dead wrong, every one +of you. The trustees are most of 'em in it for graft, and they 'aint +goin' to close no saloon when it's comin' election day 'for long, not +if Bingham serves cocktails between the hymns in church. Maybe the +trustees'd come to church better if he did. Maybe you think I'm usin' +strong language; but it's true all the same, and you know it's true. +Silas Bingham's move is a sassy challenge to us: are we goin' to lie +down under it?" + +"I must say that I'm painfully surprised at you, Mrs. Burke," Mrs. +Burns began. "You surely can't forget what wonderful things the League +has accomplished in Virginia and----" + +"Yes," Mrs. Burke interrupted, "but you see Durford 'aint in Virginia +so far as heard from, and it's our business to get up and hustle right +here where we live. Did you think we were tryin' to reform Virginia or +Alaska by absent treatment?" + +Mrs. Sapley could not contain herself another moment; so, rising to +her feet excitedly she sputtered: + +"I do not agree with you, Mrs. Burke; I do not agree with you at all. +Our meetings have been very inspiring and helpful to us all, I am +perfectly sure; very uplifting and encouraging; and I am astonished +that you should speak as you do." + +"I'm very glad you've found them so, Mrs. Sapley. I don't drink +myself, and I don't need no encouragin' and upliftin'. It's the weak +man that drinks who needs encouragin' and upliftin'; and he wouldn't +come near one of our meetin's any more than a bantam rooster would try +to hatch turtles from moth-balls. We've got to clear Silas Bingham +from off the church steps." + +"Well," Mrs. Burns inquired, "what do you propose to do about it, if I +may be allowed to inquire?" + +"Do? The first thing I propose to do is to interview Silas Bingham +myself privately, and see what I can do with him. Perhaps I won't +accomplish nothin'; but I'm goin' to try, anyway, and make him get out +of that location." + +"You can, if anybody can," Mrs. Sapley remarked. + +"Thank you for the compliment, Mrs. Sapley. Now Mrs. President, I +move, sir--that is, madam--that the parish League appoints me to +interview Bingham." + +The motion was duly seconded and passed, notwithstanding some mild +protests from the opposition, and Mrs. Burke resumed her place as +presiding officer of the meeting. Then she continued: + +"Excuse me; I forgot the previous question which somebody moved. Shall +we have lettuce or chicken sandwiches at our next meetin'? You have +heard the question. Those in favor of chicken please say aye. Ah! The +ayes have the chicken, and the chicken is unanimously carried. Any +more business to come before the meetin'? If not, we'll proceed to +carry out the lit'ary program arranged by Miss Perkins. Then we'll +close this meetin' by singin' the 224th hymn. Don't forget the basket +by the door." + + * * * * * + +Silas Bingham was an undersized, timid, pulpy soul, with a horizontal +forehead, watery blue eyes, and a receding chin. Out of "office hours" +he looked like a meek solicitor for a Sunday School magazine. One +bright morning just as he had finished sweeping out the saloon and was +polishing the brass rod on the front of the bar, Mrs. Burke walked in, +and extended her hand to the astonished bar-keeper, whose chin dropped +from sheer amazement. She introduced herself in the most cordial and +sympathetic of tones, saying: + +"How do you do, Mr. Bingham? I haven't had the pleasure of meetin' you +before; but I always make it a point to call on strangers when they +come to town. It must be awful lonesome when you first arrive and +don't know a livin' soul. I hope your wife is tolerable well." + +Bingham gradually pulled himself together and turned very red, as he +replied: + +"Thanks! But my wife doesn't live here. It's awful kind of you, I'm +sure; but you'll find my wife in the third house beyond the bakery, +down two blocks--turn to the right. She'll be glad to see you." + +"That's good," Hepsey responded, "but you see I don't have much to do +on Thursdays, and I'll just have a little visit with you, now I'm +here. Fine day, isn't it." + +Mrs. Burke drew up a chair and sat down, adjusted her feet comfortably +to the rung of another chair, and pulled out her knitting from her +work-bag, much to the consternation of the proprietor of the place. + +"How nice you've got things fixed up, Mr. Bingham," Hepsey remarked, +gazing serenely at the seductive variety of bottles and glasses, and +the glare of mirrors behind the bar. "Nothin' like havin' a fine +lookin' place to draw trade. Is business prosperin' now-a-days?" + +Silas turned three shades redder, and stammered badly as he replied: + +"Yes, I'm doin' as well as I can expect--er--I suppose." + +"Probably as well as your customers are doin', I should imagine? You +don't need to get discouraged. It takes time to work up a trade like +yours in a nice, decent neighborhood like this." + +Silas stared hard at the unwelcome intruder, glancing apprehensively +at the door from which several customers had already turned away when, +through the glass, they had caught sight of Mrs. Burke. He was +desperately ill at ease, and far from responding cordially to Hepsey's +friendly advances; and his nervousness increased as his patrons +continually retreated, occasionally grinning derisively at him through +the glass in the door. + +"If you don't mind my sayin' it, Mrs. Burke, I think you'd be a lot +more comfortable at my house than you are here." + +"Oh, I'm perfectly comfortable, thanks; perfectly comfortable. Don't +you worry a bit about me." + +"But this is a saloon, and it 'aint just what you might call +respectable for ladies to be sittin' in a saloon, now, is it?" + +"_Why not?_" + +The question was so sudden, sharp and unexpected that Silas jumped and +almost knocked over a bottle of gin, and then stared in silent chagrin +at his guest, his nervous lips moving without speech. + +"I don't see," Hepsey continued, "just why the men should have all the +fun, and then when a woman takes to enjoyin' herself say that it isn't +respectable. What's the difference, I'd like to know? This is a right +cheerful place, and I feel just like stayin' as long as I want to. +There's no law against a woman goin' to a saloon, is there? I saw Jane +Dwire come out of here Saturday night. To be sure, Jane 'aint just +what you'd call a 'society' lady, as you might say; but as long as I +behave myself I don't see why I should go." + +"But, ma'am," Silas protested in wrathful desperation, "I must ask you +to go. You'll hurt my trade if you stay here any longer." + +"Hurt your trade! Nonsense! You aren't half as polite as I thought you +were. I'm awful popular with the gentlemen. You ought to be payin' me +a commission to sit here and entertain your customers, instead of +insinuatin' that I 'aint welcome. Ah! Here comes Martin Crowfoot. +Haven't seen Martin in the longest time." + +Martin slouched in and reached the bar and ordered before he caught +sight of Mrs. Burke. He was just raising the glass to his lips when +Hepsey stepped up briskly, and extending her hand, exclaimed: + +"How do you do, Martin? How are the folks at home? Awful glad to see +you." + +Martin stared vacantly at Mrs. Burke, dropped his glass, and muttered +incoherently. Then he bolted hastily from the place without paying for +his drink. + +Bingham was now getting a bit hysterical over the situation, and was +about to make another vigorous protest, when Hiram Green entered and +called for some beer. Again Hepsey extended her hand cordially, and +Hiram jumped as if he had seen a ghost--for they had been friendly for +years. + +"Hepsey Burke, what in the name of all that's decent are you doin' in +a place like this?" he demanded when he could get his breath. "Don't +you know you'll ruin your reputation if you're seen sittin' in a +saloon?" + +"Oh, don't let that worry you, Hiram, My reputation'd freeze a stroke +of lightnin'. You don't seem to be worryin' much about your own +reputation." + +"Oh well, a man can do a lot of things a woman can't, without losin' +his reputation." + +For an instant the color flamed into Mrs. Burke's face as she retorted +hotly: + +"Yes, there's the whole business. A man can drink, and knock the +seventh commandment into a cocked hat; and then when he wants to +settle down and get married he demands a wife as white as snow. If he +gets drunk, it's a lark. If she gets drunk, it's a crime. But I didn't +come here to preach or hold a revival, and as for my welfare and my +reputation, Mr. Bingham and I was just havin' a pleasant afternoon +together when you came in and interrupted us. He's awful nice when you +get to know him real intimate. Now, Hiram, I hate to spoil your fun, +and you do look a bit thirsty. Suppose you have a lemonade on me, if +you're sure it won't go to your head. It isn't often that we get out +like this together. Lemonades for two, Mr. Bingham; and make Hiram's +real sweet." + +Mrs. Burke enjoyed hugely the disgust and the grimaces with which +Green swallowed the syrupy mixture. He then beat a hasty retreat down +the street. For two hours Hepsey received all who were courageous +enough to venture in, with most engaging smiles and cordial +handshakes, until Silas was bordering on madness. Finally he emerged +from the bar and mustered up sufficient courage to threaten: + +"Mrs. Burke, if you don't quit, I'll send for the police," he +blustered. + +Hepsey gazed calmly at her victim and replied: + +"I wouldn't, if I was in your place." + +"Well then, I give you fair warning I'll put you out myself if you +don't go peaceable in five minutes." + +"No, Silas; you're wrong as usual. You can't put me out of here until +I'm ready to go. I could wring you out like a mop, and drop you down a +knot-hole, and nobody'd be the wiser." + +The door now opened slowly and a small girl, miserably clad, entered +the saloon. Her head was covered with a worn, soiled shawl. From +underneath the shawl she produced a battered tin pail and placed it on +the bar with the phlegmatic remark, "Pa wants a quart of beer." + +Mrs. Burke looked at the girl and then at Bingham, and then back at +the girl inquiringly. + +"Are you in the habit of gettin' beer here, child?" + +"Sure thing!" the girl replied, cheerfully. + +"How old are you?" + +"Ten, goin' on eleven." + +"And you sell it to her?" Hepsey asked, turning to Bingham. + +"Oh, it's for her father. He sends for it." He frowned at the child +and she quickly disappeared, leaving the can behind her. + +"Does he? But I thought you said that a saloon was no place for a +woman; and surely it can't be a decent place for a girl under age. Now +my friend, I've got somethin' to say to you." + +"You are the very devil and all," Silas remarked. + +"Thanks, Silas. The devil sticks to his job, anyway; and owin' to the +likes of you he wins out, nine times out of ten. Now will you clear +out of this location, or won't you?" + +"Another day like this would send me to the lunatic asylum." + +"Then I'll be around in the mornin' at six-thirty sharp." + +"You just get out of here," he threatened. + +"If you promise to clear out yourself within three days." + +"I guess I'd clear out of Heaven itself to get rid of you." + +"Very well; and if you are still here Saturday afternoon, ten of us +women will come and sit on your steps until you go. A woman can't vote +whether you shall be allowed to entice her men-folk into a place like +this, and at the very church door; but the average woman can be mighty +disagreeable when she tries." + +Silas Bingham had a good business head: he reckoned up the costs--and +cleared out. + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER XVII + +NOTICE TO QUIT + + +Before the year was over Mrs. Betty had become popular with Maxwell's +parishioners through her unfailing good-nature, cordiality and +persistent optimism. Even Mrs. Nolan, who lived down by the bridge, +and made rag carpets, and suffered from chronic dyspepsia, remarked to +Mrs. Burke that she thought the parson's wife was very nice "'cause +she 'aint a bit better than any of the rest of us,"--which tribute to +Mrs. Betty's tact made Mrs. Burke smile and look pleased. All the +young men and girls of the parish simply adored her, and it was +marvelous how she managed to keep in touch with all the guilds, do her +own housework, and learn to know everyone intimately. Hepsey warned +her that she was attempting to do too much. + +"The best parson's wife," she said, "is the one who makes the rest +work, while she attends to her own household, and keeps her health. +Her business is not to do the work of the parson, but to look after +him, keep him well nourished, and cheer him up a little bit when he is +tempted to take the next trolley for Timbuctoo." + +The retort was so tempting that Mrs. Betty could not help saying: + +"There's not a person in this town who does so much for others as you +do, and who makes so little fuss about it. It's the force of your +example that has led me astray, you see." + +"Hm!" Hepsey replied. "I'm glad you called my attention to it. I shall +try to break myself of the habit at once." + +As for Maxwell, his practical helpfulness in forwarding the social +life of the place, without in the least applying that phase of his +activities as a lever for spiritual upheavals, and his ready sympathy +for and interest in the needs and doings of young and old, +irrespective of class or caste, gradualy reaped for him the affection +and respect of all sorts and conditions. In fact, the year had been a +pleasant one for him, and was marred by only one circumstance, the +continued and growing hostility of his Senior Warden, Mr. Bascom. From +the first, he had been distinctly unfriendly towards his rector; but +soon after Maxwell's marriage, his annoying opposition was quite open +and pronounced, and the weight of his personal influence was thrown +against every move which Maxwell made towards the development of the +parish life and work. + +To those more "in the know" than the Maxwells themselves, it was +evident that a certain keen aggressiveness evinced by the Senior +Warden was foreign to his phlegmatic, brooding character, and it was +clear to them that the actively malicious virus was being administered +by the disappointed Virginia. That she was plotting punishment, in +revenge for wounded _amour propre_, was clear to the initiated, who +were apprehensive of the bomb she was evidently preparing to burst +over the unconscious heads of the rector and his wife. But what could +her scheme be? + +Gradually Mrs. Burke noticed that Betty began to show fatigue and +anxiety, and was losing the freshness of her delicate color; while +Donald had become silent and reserved, and wore a worried look which +was quite unnatural to him. Something was going wrong; of that she +felt sure; but observant though she was, she failed to trace the +trouble to its source. + +Matters came to a crisis one day when Maxwell was informed that some +one was waiting to see him in the parlor. The visitor was dressed in +very pronounced clothes, and carried himself with a self-assertive +swagger. Maxwell had seen him in Bascom's office, and knew who was +waiting for him long before he reached the parlor, by the odor of +patchouli which penetrated to the hall. + +"Good morning, Mr. Nelson," said Maxwell. "Did you wish to see me?" + +"Yes, I did, Mr. Maxwell, and I am sure it is a great pleasure." + +The man seated himself comfortably in a large chair, put the tips of +his fingers together, and gazed about the room with an expression of +pleased patronage. + +"Very pretty home you have here," he remarked suavely. + +"Yes," Maxwell replied. "We manage to make ourselves comfortable. Did +you wish to see me on business?" + +"Oh yes," the lawyer replied, "a mere technicality. I represent the +firm of Bascom & Nelson, or rather I should say I am Mr. Bascom's +legal agent just at present, as I have not yet been admitted as his +partner----" + +The man stopped, smirked, and evidently relished prolonging his +interview with Maxwell, who was getting impatient. Maxwell drew his +watch from his pocket, and there was a look in his eyes which made the +lawyer proceed: + +"The fact is, Rector, that I came to see you on a matter of business +about the rectory--as Mr. Bascom's agent." + +"Will you kindly state it?" + +"It concerns the use of this house." + +"In what way? This is the rectory of the church, and the rental of it +is part of my salary." + +"You are mistaken. Mr. Bascom owns the house, and you are staying here +merely on sufferance." + +For a moment Maxwell was too astonished to speak; then he began: + +"Mr. Bascom owns this house? What do you mean? The house is part of +the property of the church." + +"You are mistaken, my friend." + +"You will kindly not repeat that form of address, and explain what you +mean," replied Maxwell heatedly. + +"Come, come; there's no use in losing your temper, my dear rector," +retorted Nelson offensively. + +"You have just two minutes to explain yourself, sir; and I strongly +advise you to improve the opportunity, before I put you out of this +house.'" + +Nelson, like most bullies, was a coward, and evidently concluded that +he would take no risks. He continued: + +"As I said before, Sylvester Bascom practically owns this house. It +does not belong to the church property. The Episcopals made a big +bluff at buying it years ago, and made a very small payment in cash; +Bascom took a mortgage for the rest. The interest was paid regularly +for a while, and then payments began to fall off. As you have reason +to know, Bascom is a generous and kind-hearted man, who would not for +the world inconvenience his rector, and so he has allowed the matter +to go by default, until the back interest amounts to a considerable +sum. Of course the mortgage is long past due, and as he needs the +money, he has commissioned me to see you and inform you that he is +about to foreclose, and to ask you to vacate the premises as soon as +you conveniently can. I hope that I make myself reasonably clear." + +In a perfectly steady voice Maxwell replied: + +"What you say is clear enough; whether it is true is another matter. +I will see Mr. Bascom at once, and ask for his own statement of the +case." + +"I don't think it necessary to see him, as he has expressly authorized +me to act for him in the case." + +"Then I suppose you came her to serve the notice of ejectment on me." + +"Oh, we won't use such strong language as that. I came here merely to +tell you that the house must be vacated soon as possible. Mr. Bascom +has gone to New York on business and will not be back for two weeks. +Meantime he wishes the house vacated, so that he can rent it to other +parties." + +"When does the Senior Warden propose to eject his rector, if I may be +allowed to ask?" + +"Oh, there is no immediate hurry. Any time this week will do." + +"What does he want for this place?" + +"I believe he expects fifteen dollars a month." + +"Well, of course that is prohibitive. Tell Mr. Bascom that we will +surrender the house on Wednesday, and that we are greatly indebted to +him for allowing us to occupy it rent-free for so long a time." + +As Donald showed the objectionable visitor out of the house, he caught +sight of Hepsey Burke walking towards it. He half hoped she would pass +by, but with a glance of suspicion and barely civil greeting to +Nelson as he walked away, she came on, and with a friendly nod to +Maxwell entered the rectory. + +"I've just been talkin' to Mrs. Betty for her good," she remarked. "I +met her in town, lookin' as peaked as if she'd been fastin' double +shifts, and I had a notion to come in and complete the good work on +yourself." + +Maxwell's worried face told its own story. He was so nonplused by the +bolt just dropped from the blue that he could find no words of +responsive raillery wherewith to change the subject. + +Hepsey led the way to the parlor and seated herself, facing him +judicially. In her quick mind the new evidence soon crystallized into +proof of her already half-formed suspicions. She came straight to the +point. + +"Is Bascom making you any trouble? If he is, say so, 'cause I happen +to have the whip-hand so far as he's concerned. That Nelson's nothin' +but a tool of his, and a dull tool at that." + +"He's an objectionable person, I must say," remarked Maxwell, and +hesitated to trust himself further. + +Mrs. Burke gazed at Maxwell for some time in silence and then began: + +"You look about done up--I don't want to be pryin', but I guess you'd +better own up. Something's the matter." + +"I am just worried and anxious, and I suppose I can't help showing +it," he replied wearily. + +"So you're worried, are you. Now don't you get the worried habit; if +it makes a start it will grow on you till you find yourself worryin' +for fear the moon won't rise. Worryin's like usin' rusty scissors: it +sets your mouth awry. You just take things as they come, and when it +seems as if everything was goin' to smash and you couldn't help it, +put on your overalls and paint a fence, or hammer tacks, or any old +thing that comes handy. What has that rascal Bascom been doin'? Excuse +me--my diplomacy's of the hammer-and-tongs order; you're not gettin' +your salary paid?" + +For some time Maxwell hesitated and then answered: + +"Well, I guess I might as well tell you, because you will know all +about it anyway in a day or two, and you might as well get a correct +version of the affair from me, though I hate awfully to trouble you. +The parish owes me two hundred and fifty dollars. I spoke to Reynolds +about it several times, but he says that Bascom and several of his +intimate friends won't pay their subscriptions promptly, and so he +can't pay me. But the shortage in my salary is not the worst of it. +Did you know that the rectory was heavily mortgaged, and that Bascom +holds the mortgage?" + +"Yes, I knew it; but we paid something down', and the interest's been +kept up, and we hoped that if we did that Bascom would be satisfied." + +"It seems that the interest has not been paid in some time, and the +real reason why Nelson called just now was to inform me that as Bascom +was about to foreclose we must get out as soon as we could. I told him +that we would leave on Wednesday next." + +For a moment there was a look on Mrs. Burke's face which Maxwell never +had seen before, and which boded ill for Bascom: but she made no +immediate reply. + +"To tell you the truth," she said finally, "I have been afraid of +this. That was the only thing that worried me about your gettin' +married. But I felt that no good would come from worryin', and that if +Bascom was goin' to play you some dirty trick, he'd do it; and now +he's done it. What's got into the man, all of a sudden? He's a +skinflint--always closer than hair to a dog's back; but I don't +believe I've ever known him do somethin' downright ugly, like this." + +"Oh, I know well enough," remarked Donald. "If I had been aware of how +matters stood about the rectory, I should have acted differently. I +wrote him a pretty stiff letter a day or two ago, calling upon him, +as Senior Warden, to use his influence to fulfill the contract with +me, and get the arrears of my salary paid up. I suppose he had thought +I would just get out of the place if my salary was held back--and he's +wanted to get rid of me for some time. Now, he's taken this other +means of ejecting me not only from his house but from the town itself. +He knows I can't afford to pay the rent out of my salary--let alone +out of half of it!" He laughed rather bitterly. + +"He'll be singing a different tune, before I've done with him," said +Hepsey. "Now you leave this to me--I'll have a twitch on old Bascom's +nose that'll make him think of something else than ejecting his +rector. I'll go and visit with him a little this afternoon." + +"But Nelson said that he was in New York." + +"I know better than that," snorted Hepsey. "But I guess he'll want to +go there, and stay the winter there too, maybe, when I've had my say. +No sir--I'm goin' to take my knittin' up to his office, and sit +awhile; and if he doesn't have the time of his life it won't be my +fault." + +She turned to leave the room, with a belligerent swing of her +shoulders. + +"Mrs. Burke," said Maxwell gently, "you are kindness itself; but I +don't want you to do this--at least not yet. I want to fight this +thing through myself, and rather to shame Bascom into doing the right +thing than force him to do it--even if the latter were possible. I +must think things out a bit. I shall want your help--we always do, +Betty and I." + +"I don't know but you're right; but if your plan don't work, remember +mine _will_. Well, Mrs. Betty'll be coming in soon, and I'll leave +you. Meantime I shall just go home and load my guns: I'm out for +Bascom's hide, sooner or later." + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER XVIII + +THE NEW RECTORY + + +When Betty returned, and Donald told her the happenings of the +morning, the clouds dispersed somewhat, and before long the dictum +that "there is humor in all things"--even in ejection from house and +home--seemed proven true. After lunch they sat in Donald's den, and +were laughingly suggesting every kind of habitat, possible and +impossible, from purchasing and fitting up the iceman's covered wagon +and perambulating round the town, to taking a store and increasing +their income by purveying Betty's tempting preserves and +confections. + +Their consultation was interrupted by the arrival of Nickey, armed +with a Boy Scouts' "Manual." + +"Gee! Mr. Maxwell: Uncle Jonathan Jackson's all right; I'll never do +another thing to guy him. He's loaned us his tent for our Boy Scouts' +corpse, and I've been studyin' out how to pitch it proper, so I can +show the kids the ropes; but----" + +"Donald!" cried Betty. "The very thing--let's camp out on the church +lot." + +"By Jinks!" exclaimed Maxwell, unclerically. "We'll have that tent up +this very afternoon--if Nickey will lend it to us, second hand, and +get his men together." + +Nickey flushed with delight. "You betcher life I will," he shouted +excitedly. "Is it for a revival stunt? You 'aint goin' to live there, +are you?" + +"That's just what we are going to do, if Jonathan and you'll lend us +the tent for a few months. Mr. Bascom wants to let the rectory to some +other tenants, and we've got to find somewhere else to lay our heads. +Why, it's the very way! There's not a thing against it, that I can +see. Let's go and see the tent, and consult Mrs. Burke. Come along, +both of you." + +And off they hurried, like three children bent on a new game. It was +soon arranged, and Hepsey rose to the occasion with her usual vim. To +her and Nickey the transportation of the tent was consigned, while +Maxwell went off to purchase the necessary boarding for a floor, and +Mrs. Betty returned to the rectory to pack up their belongings. + +"We'll have to occupy our new quarters to-night," said Maxwell, "or +our friend the enemy may raid the church lot in the night, and vanish +with tent and all." + +An hour or so later, when Maxwell arrived at the church, clad in +overalls and riding on a wagon of planks, he found Mrs. Burke and +Nickey with a contingent of stalwarts awaiting him. There was a heap +of canvas and some coils of rope lying on the ground near by. Hepsey +greeted him with a smile from under the shade of her sun-bonnet. + +"You seem ready for business, even if you don't look a little bit like +the Archbishop of Canterbury in that rig," she remarked. "I'm afraid +there'll be an awful scandal in the parish if you go wanderin' around +dressed like a carpenter; but it can't be helped; and if the Bishop +excommunicates you, I'll give you a job on the farm." + +"I don't mind about the looks of it; but I suppose the vestry will +have something to say about our camping on church property." + +"That needn't worry you. Maybe it'll bring 'em to their senses, and +maybe, they'll be ashamed when they see their parson driven out of his +house and havin' to live in a tent,--though I 'aint holdin' out much +hope of that, to you. Folks that are the most religious are usually +the hardest to shame. I always said, financially speakin', that +preachin' wasn't a sound business. It's all give and no get; but this +is the first time I've ever heard of a parish wanting a parson to +preach without eating and to sleep without a roof over his head. Most +of us seem to forget that rectors are human being like the rest of us. +If religion is worth havin', it's worth payin' for." + +The planking was soon laid, and the erection of the tent was left to +Nickey's captaining--all hands assisting. With his manual in one hand +he laid it out, rope by rope, poles in position, and each helper at +his place. Then at a word, up it soared, with a "bravo" from the +puzzled onlookers. + +"We want a poet here," laughed Maxwell. "Longfellow's 'Building of the +Ship,' or Ralph Connor's 'Building the Barn' aren't a circumstance to +Nickey's 'Pitching the Parson's Tent.'" + +It was next divided off into three convenient rooms, for sleeping, +eating and cooking--and Hepsey, with three scouts, having driven +across to the old rectory while the finishing touches were being put +to the new, she and her military escort soon returned with Mrs. Betty, +and a load of furniture and other belongings. + +"Why, this is perfect!" cried Betty. "The only thing lacking to +complete the illusion is a trout brook in the front yard, and the +smell of pines and the damp mossy earth of the forests. We'll wear our +old clothes, and have a bonfire at night, and roast potatoes and corn +in the hot coals, and have the most beautiful time imaginable." + +The town visitors who still lingered on the scene were received +cordially by Maxwell and Mrs. Betty, who seemed to be in rather high +spirits; but when the visitors made any inquiries concerning +structural matters they were politely referred to Nickey Burke for any +information they desired, as he had assumed official management of the +work. + +Just before the various helpers left at six o'clock, smoke began to +issue from the little stove-pipe sticking out through the canvas of +the rear of the tent, and Mrs. Betty, with her sleeves rolled up to +her elbows and her cooking apron on, came out to watch it with all the +pride of a good housekeeper. + +"Isn't it jolly, Mrs. Burke," she exclaimed. "I was afraid that it +would not draw, but it really does, you see. This will be more fun +than a month at the seashore; and to-morrow we are going to have you +and Nickey dine with us in the tent; so don't make any other +engagement. Don't forget." + +By noon of the following day everybody in town knew that the Maxwells +had been dispossessed, and were camping on the church lot; and before +night most of the women and a few of the men had called to satisfy +their curiosity, and to express their sympathy with the rector and his +wife, who, however, seemed to be quite comfortable and happy in their +new quarters. On the other hand, some of the vestry hinted strongly +that tents could not be put up on church property without their formal +permission, and a few of the more pious suggested that it was little +short of sacrilege thus to violate the sanctity of a consecrated +place. Nickey had painted a large sign with the word RECTORY on it, in +truly rustic lettering, and had hung it at the entrance of the tent. +The Editor of the Durford Daily _Bugle_ appeared with the village +photographer, and after an interview with Maxwell requested him and +his wife to pose for a picture in front of the tent. This they +declined with thanks; but a half-column article giving a sensational +account of the affair appeared in the next issue of the paper, headed +by a half-tone picture of the tent and the church. Public sentiment +ran strongly against Bascom, to whom rumor quickly awarded the onus +of the incident. In reply to offers of hospitality, Maxwell and Mrs. +Betty insisted that they were very comfortable for the time being, and +were not going to move or make any plans for the immediate future. The +morning of the fourth day, Maxwell announced to Mrs. Betty that he had +a strong presentiment that Bascom would soon make another move in the +game, and he was not surprised when he saw Nelson approaching. + +"Thank goodness we are in the open air, this time," Maxwell remarked +to Betty as he caught sight of the visitor. "I'll talk to him +outside--and perhaps you'd better shut the door and keep out the +language. I may have to express myself more forcibly than politely." + +Nelson began: + +"I am sorry to have to intrude upon you again, Mr. Maxwell, but I must +inform you that you will have to vacant that tent and find lodgings +elsewhere." + +"Why, pray? This tent is my property for as long as I require it." + +"Ah! But you see it has been put up on the land that belongs to the +church, and you have no title to use the land, you know, for private +purposes." + +"Pardon me," Maxwell replied, "but while the legal title to all +church property is held by the wardens and vestry collectively, the +freehold use of the church building and grounds is held by the rector +for the purpose of the exercise of his office as rector. No church +property is injured by this tent. This lot was originally purchased +for a rectory. To all intents and purposes (excuse me; I am not +punning) this tent is the rectory _pro tem_. The use of a rectory was +offered me as part of the original agreement when I accepted the call +to come to this parish." + +"Hm! You speak quite as if you belonged to the legal profession +yourself, Mr. Maxwell. However, I am afraid that you will have to get +off the lot just the same. You must remember that I am simply carrying +out Mr. Bascom's instructions." + +"Very well; please give my compliments to Mr. Bascom and tell him that +he is welcome to come here and put me out as soon as he thinks best. +Moreover, you might remind him that he is not an autocrat, and that he +cannot take any legal action in the matter without a formal meeting of +the vestry, which I will call and at which I will preside. He can +appeal to the Bishop if he sees fit." + +"Then I understand that you propose to stay where you are, in defiance +of Mr. Bascom's orders?" + +"I most certainly do. It is well known that Mr. Bascom has +successfully intimidated every one of my predecessors; but he has met +his match for once. I shall not budge from this tent until I see +fit." + +"Well, I should be very sorry to see you forcibly ejected." + +"Don't waste any sympathy on me, sir. If Mr. Bascom attempts to molest +me, I shall take the matter to the courts and sue him for damages." + +"Your language is somewhat forcible, considering that you are supposed +to be his pastor and spiritual advisor." + +"Very well; tell Mr. Bascom that as his spiritual advisor I strongly +suggest that his spiritual condition will not be much improved by +attempting to molest us here." + +"But to be perfectly frank with you, Mr. Maxwell, he can force you to +leave, by stopping the payment of your salary, even if he does not +eject you by force." + +"I rather think not. Until he can bring specific charges against me, +he is liable for the fulfillment of our original contract, in his +writing. Moreover, I may have more friends in the parish than he +imagines." + +Nelson was visibly disturbed by the rector's firm hold on the +situation. + +"But," he stuttered, "Mr. Bascom is the richest man in the parish, and +his influence is strong. You will find that everyone defers to his +judgment as a matter of course." + +"All right; then let me add, for your own information, that I can earn +my living honestly in this town and take care of myself without Mr. +Bascom's assistance, if necessary; and do my parish work at the same +time. I have two muscular arms, and if it comes down to earning a +livelihood, independent of my salary, I can work on the state road +hauling stone. Williamson told me yesterday he was looking for men." + +"I can scarcely think that the parishioners would hold with their +rector working like a common laborer, Mr. Maxwell," admonished +Nelson. + +"We are all 'common,' in the right sense, Mr. Nelson. My view is that +work of any kind is always honorable when necessary, except in the +eyes of the ignorant. If Mr. Bascom is mortified to have me earn my +living by manual labor, when he is not ashamed to repudiate a +contract, and try to force me out of the parish by a process of slow +starvation, his sense of fitness equals his standard of honor." + +"Well, I am sure that I do not know what I can do." + +"Do you want me to tell you?" + +"If it will relieve your feelings," Nelson drawled insolently. + +"Then get out of this place and stay out. If you return again for any +purpose whatever I am afraid it is I who will have to eject you. We +will not argue the matter again." + +"Well, I regret this unfortunate encounter, and to have been forced to +listen to the unguarded vituperation of my rector." With which retort +he departed. + +Soon after Nelson had left, Mrs. Burke called in, and Betty gave her a +highly amusing and somewhat colored version of the interview. + +"You know, I think that our theological seminaries don't teach budding +parsons all they ought to, by any means," she concluded. + +"I quite agree with you, Betty dear; and I thank my stars for college +athletics," laughed Maxwell, squaring up to the tent-pole. + +"What did I tell you," reminded Hepsey, "when you had all those books +up in your room at my place. It's just as important for a country +parson to know how to make a wiped-joint or run a chicken farm or pull +teeth, as it is to study church history and theology. A parson's got +to live somehow, and a trade school ought to be attached to every +seminary, according to my way of thinking! St. Paul made tents, and +wasn't a bit ashamed of it. Well I'm mighty glad that Bascom has got +come up with for once. Don't you give in, and it will be my turn to +make the next move, if this don't bring him to his senses. You just +wait and see." + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER XIX + +COULEUR de ROSE + + +Hepsey had been so busy with helping the Maxwells that for some time +no opportunity had occurred for Jonathan to press his ardent suit. +Since his first attempt and its abrupt termination, he had been +somewhat bewildered; he had failed to decide whether he was an engaged +man open to congratulations, or a rejected suitor to be condoled with. +He tried to recall exactly what she had said. As near as he could +recollect, it was: "I'll think it over, and perhaps some day--" Then +he had committed the indiscretion of grasping her hand, causing her +to drop her stitches before she had ended what she was going to say. +He could have sworn at himself to think that it was all his fault that +she had stopped just at the critical moment, when she might have +committed herself and given him some real encouragement. But he +consoled himself by the thought that she had evidently taken him +seriously at last; and so to the "perhaps some day" he added, in +imagination, the words "I will take you"; and this seemed reasonable. + +The matter was more difficult from the very fact that they had been on +such intimate terms for such a long time, and she had never hitherto +given him any reason to think that she cared for him other than as a +good neighbor and a friend. Ever since the death of his wife, she +seemed to feel that he had been left an orphan in a cold and +unsympathetic world, and that it was her duty to look after him much +as she would a child. She was in the habit of walking over whenever +she pleased and giving directions to Mary McGuire in regard to matters +which she thought needed attention in his house. And all this had been +done in the most open and matter-of-fact way, so that the most +accomplished gossip in Durford never accused her of making matrimonial +advances to the lonesome widower. Even Jonathan himself had been +clever enough to see that she regarded him much as she would an +overgrown boy, and had always accepted her many attentions without +misinterpreting them. She was a born manager, and she managed him; +that was all. Nothing could be more unsentimental than the way in +which she would make him take off his coat during a friendly call, and +let her sponge and press it for him; or the imperative fashion in +which she sent him to the barber's to have his beard trimmed. How +could a man make love to a woman after she had acted like this? + +But he reminded himself that if he was ever to win her he must begin +to carry out the advice outlined by Mrs. Betty; and so the apparently +unsuspecting Hepsey would find on her side porch in the morning some +specially fine corn which had been placed there after dark without the +name of the donor. Once a fine melon was accompanied by a bottle of +perfumery; and again a basket of peaches had secreted in its center a +package of toilet soap "strong enough to kill the grass," as Hepsey +remarked as she sniffed at it. Finally matters reached a climax when a +bushel of potatoes arrived on the scene in the early dawn, and with it +a canary bird in a tin cage. When Hepsey saw Jonathan later, she +remarked casually that she "guessed she'd keep the potatoes; but she +didn't need a canary bird any more than a turtle needs a tooth-pick; +and he had better take it away and get his money back." + +However, Jonathan never allowed her occasional rebuffs to discourage +him or stop his attentions. He kept a close watch on all Hepsey's +domestic interests, and if there were any small repairs to be made at +Thunder Cliff, a hole in the roof to be mended, or the bricks on the +top of the chimney to be relaid, or the conductor pipe to be +readjusted, Jonathan was on the spot. Then Jonathan would receive in +return a layer cake with chopped walnuts in the filling, and would +accept it in the same matter-of-fact way in which Hepsey permitted his +services as general caretaker. + +This give-and-take business went on for some time. At last it occurred +to him that Mrs. Burke's front porch ought to be painted, and he +conceived the notion of doing the work without her knowledge, as a +pleasant surprise to her. He waited a long time for some day when she +should be going over to shop at Martin's Junction,--when Nickey +usually managed to be taken along,--so that he could do the work +unobserved. Meantime, he collected from the hardware store various +cards with samples of different colors on them. These he would +combine and re-combine at his leisure, in the effort to decide just +what colors would harmonize. He finally decided that a rather dark +blue for the body work would go quite well, with a bright magenta for +the trimmings, and laid in a stock of paint and brushes, and possessed +his soul in patience. + +So one afternoon, arriving home burdened with the spoils of Martin's +Junction, great was Mrs. Burke's astonishment and wrath when she +discovered the porch resplendent in dark blue and magenta. + +"Sakes alive! Have I got to live inside of that," she snorted. "Why, +it's the worst lookin' thing I ever saw. If I don't settle _him_," she +added, "--paintin' my porch as if it belonged to him--and me as well," +she added ambiguously. And, catching up her sun-bonnet, she hastened +over to her neighbor's and inquired for Jonathan. "Sure, he's gone to +Martin's Junction to see his brother, Mrs. Burke. He said he'd stay +over night, and I needn't come in again till to-morrow dinner-time," +Mary McGuire replied. + +Hepsey hastened home, and gathering all the rags she could find, she +summoned Nickey and Mullen, one of the men from the farm, and they +worked with turpentine for nearly two hours, cleaning off the fresh +paint from the porch. Then she sent Nickey down to the hardware store +for some light gray paint and some vivid scarlet paint, and a bit of +dryer. It did not take very long to repaint her porch gray--every +trace of the blue and the magenta having been removed by the vigorous +efforts of the three. + +When it was finished, she opened the can of scarlet, and pouring in a +large quantity of dryer she sent Nickey over to see if Mary McGuire +had gone home. All three set to work that evening to paint the porch +in front of Jonathan's house. At first Mullen protested anxiously that +it was none of his business to be painting another man's porch, but +Mrs. Burke gave him a look which changed his convictions; so he and +Nickey proceeded gleefully to fulfill their appointed task, while she +got supper. + +When the work was quite finished. Hepsey went over to inspect it, and +remarked thoughtfully to herself: "I should think that a half pint of +dryer might be able to get in considerable work before to-morrow noon. +I hope Jonathan'll like scarlet. To be sure it does look rather +strikin' on a white house; but then variety helps to relieve the +monotony of a dead alive town like Durford; and if he don't like it +plain, he can trim it green. I'll teach him to come paintin' my house +without so much as a by-your-leave, or with-your-leave, lettin' the +whole place think things." + +As it happened, Jonathan returned late that night to Durford--quite +too late to see the transformation of his own front porch, and since +he entered by the side door as usual, he did not even smell the new +paint. The next morning he sauntered over to Thunder Cliff, all agog +for his reward, and Mrs. Burke greeted him at her side door, smiling +sweetly. + +"Good mornin', Jonathan. It was awful good of you to paint my front +porch. It _has_ needed paintin' for some time now, but I never seemed +to get around to it." + +"Don't mention it, Hepsey," Jonathan replied affably. "Don't mention +it. You're always doin' somethin' for me, and it's a pity if I can't +do a little thing like that for you once in a while." + +Hepsey had strolled round to the front, as if to admire his work, +Jonathan following. Suddenly he came to a halt; his jaw dropped, and +he stared as if he had gone out of his senses. + +"Such a lovely color; gray just suits the house, you know," Mrs. Burke +observed. "You certainly ought to have been an artist, Jonathan. Any +man with such an eye for color ought not to be wastin' his time on a +farm." + +Jonathan still gazed at the porch in amazement, blinked hard, wiped +his eyes and his glasses with his handkerchief, and looked again. + +"What's the matter with you? Have you a headache?" Hepsey inquired +solicitously. + +"No, I haven't got no headache; but when I left that porch yesterday +noon it was blue, and now I'm blamed if it don't seem gray. Does it +look gray-like to you, Hepsey?" + +"Why certainly! What's that you say? Do you say you painted it blue? +That certainly's mighty queer. But then you know some kinds of paint +fade--some kinds do!" She nodded, looking suspiciously at the work. + +"Fade!" Jonathan sneered. "Paints don't fade by moonlight in one +night. That isn't no faded blue. It's just plain gray. I must be goin' +color blind, or something." + +"It looks gray to me, and I'm glad it is gray, so don't you worry +about it, Jonathan. Blue would be somethin' awful on the front of a +white house, you know." + +"Well," continued the bewildered Junior Warden, "I'm blessed if this +isn't the queerest thing I ever see in all my born days. If I catch +the fellow that sold me that paint, I'll make it lively for him or my +name isn't Jackson." + +"Oh, I wouldn't do anything like that! What difference does it make, +so long as I like the color myself; it's my house. I should have been +very much put out if you'd painted it blue; yes, I should." + +"But I don't like to be cheated down at the store; and I won't, by +gum! They said it was best quality paint! I'll go down to Crosscut's +and see about this business, right now. I've traded with him nigh on +twenty years, and he don't bamboozle me that way." + +Hepsey turned away choking with laughter, and retreated to her +kitchen. + +Jonathan started back towards his house to get his hat and coat, and +then for the first time he caught sight of his own porch, done in +flaming scarlet, which fairly seemed to radiate heat in the brilliant +sunlight. He stood motionless for nearly a minute, paralyzed. Then the +color began to rise in his neck and face as he muttered under his +breath: + +"Hm! I'm on to the whole business now. I ought to have known that +Hepsey would get the best of me. I guess I won't go down to Crosscut's +after all." + +Then he walked up to the porch and touched the scarlet paint with his +finger and remarked: + +"Set harder than a rock, by gum! She must have used a whole lot of +dryer. I'll get even with her for this. See if I don't." + +In the afternoon Jonathan brought over some fine apples and presented +them to Hepsey, who was knitting on her side porch. She thanked him +for the gift, and the conversation drifted from one thing to another +while she waited for the expected outburst of reproach which she knew +would come sooner or later. But curiously enough, Jonathan was more +cheery and cordial than usual, and made no allusion whatever to the +scarlet porch, which was conspicuously visible from where they sat. +Again and again Hepsey led the conversation around to the point where +it seemed as if he must break covert, but he remained oblivious, and +changed the subject readily. Not a word on the subject passed his lips +that afternoon. + +Then, from day to day the neighbors called and inquired of her if +Jackson had gone off his head, or what was the matter. His flaming +porch outraged Durford's sense of decency. She was at her wits end to +answer, without actually lying or compromising herself; so the only +thing she said was that she had noticed that he had been acting a bit +peculiar lately, now they mentioned it. As time went on, the scarlet +porch became the talk of the town. It was duly discussed at the sewing +society, and the reading club, and the general sentiment was +practically unanimous that Jackson must be suffering from incipient +cataract or senile dementia, and needed a guardian. Even Mary McGuire +remarked to Mrs. Burke that she was afraid "that there front porch +would sure set the house on fire, if it wasn't put out before." +Everybody agreed that if his wife had lived, the thing never could +have happened. + +Meantime, Jonathan went about his daily business, serene and happy, +apparently oblivious of the fact that there was anything unusual in +the decoration of his house. When his friends began to chaff him about +the porch he seemed surprised, and guessed it was his privilege to +paint his house any color he had a mind to, and there was no law +ag'in' it; it was nobody's business but his own. Tastes in color +differed, and there was no reason in the world why all houses should +be painted alike. He liked variety himself, and nobody could say that +scarlet wasn't a real cheerful color on a white house. + +Occasionally people who were driving by stopped to contemplate the +porch; and the Durford Daily _Bugle_ devoted a long facetious +paragraph to the matter. All of which Mrs. Burke knew very well, and +it was having its effect on her nerves. The porch was the most +conspicuous object in view from Hepsey's sitting-room windows, and +every time she entered the room she found herself looking at the +flaming terror with increasing exasperation. Verily, if Jonathan +wanted revenge he was getting far more than he knew: the biter was +badly bit. The matter came to a crisis one day, when Jonathan +concluded a discussion with Mrs. Burke about the pasture fence. She +burst out abruptly: + +"Say, Jonathan Jackson, why in the name of conscience don't you paint +your porch a Christian color? It's simply awful, and I'm not goin' to +sit in my house and have to look at it all winter." + +Jonathan did not seem greatly stirred, and replied in an absent-minded +way: + +"Why don't you move your sittin' room over to the other side of the +house, Hepsey? Then you wouldn't have to see it. Don't you like +scarlet?" + +"No, I don't like it, and if you don't paint it out, I will." + +"Don't do nothin' rash, Hepsey. You know sometimes colors fade in the +moonlight--some colors, that is. Maybe that scarlet porch'll turn to a +light gray if you let it alone." + +Mrs. Burke could stand it no longer; so, laying down her work she +exploded her pent-up wrath: + +"Jonathan Jackson, if that paint isn't gone before to-morrow, I'll +come over and paint it myself." + +"Oh, that isn't necessary, Hepsey. And it might set people talkin'. +But if you won't move your sittin'-room to the other side of your own +house, why don't you move it over to my house? You wouldn't see so +much of the red paint then." + +Hepsey snorted and spluttered in baffled rage. + +"Now, now, Hepsey," soothed Jonathan, "if that don't suit you, I'll +tell you what I'll do: I'll paint it over myself on one condition!" + +"And what's that, I'd like to know?" + +"That you'll marry me," snapped Jonathan hungrily. + +Instead of resenting such bold tactics on the part of her suitor, Mrs. +Burke gazed at him a long time with a rather discouraged look on her +face. + +"Land sakes!" she exclaimed at last with assumed weariness and a +whimsical smile, "I didn't know I'd ever come to this; but I guess +I'll have to marry you to keep you from makin' another kind of fool of +yourself; widowers are such helpless mortals, and you certainly do +need a guardian." She shook her head at him despondently. + +Jonathan advanced towards her deliberately, and clinched the matter: + +"Well, Hepsey, seein' that we're engaged----" + +"Engaged? What do you mean? Get away, you----" She rose from her chair +in a hurry. + +"Now Hepsey, a bargain's a bargain: you just said you'd have to marry +me, and I guess the sooner you do it and have it over with, the +better. So, seein' that we are engaged to be married, as I was about +to remark when you interrupted me...." Relentlessly he approached her +once more. She retreated a step or two. + +"Well! Sakes alive, Jonathan! Whatever's come over you to make you so +masterful. Well, yes then--I suppose a bargain's a bargain, all right. +But before your side of it's paid up you've got to go right over and +paint that porch of yours a respectable color." + +So, for once, Hepsey's strategy had been manipulated to her own +defeat: Jonathan went off to town with flying colors, and bought +himself a can of pure white paint. + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER XX + +MUSCULAR CHRISTIANITY + + +It was eleven o'clock at night. Mrs. Betty had retired, while her +husband was still struggling to finish a sermon on the importance of +foreign missions. Ordinarily, the work would have been congenial and +easy for him, because he was an enthusiast in the matter of missionary +work: but now for some reason his thoughts were confused; his +enthusiasm was lacking, and his pen dragged. He tried hard to pull +himself together, but over and over again the question kept repeating +itself in his tired brain: Why should the Church support foreign +missions, while she lets her hard working clergy at home suffer and +half starve in their old age, and even fails to give them decent +support while they are working in their prime? Why should a doctor +reach his highest professional value at seventy, and a parson be past +the "dead-line" at forty-five? Here he was, subject to the caprice and +ill-will of a sour and miserly Senior Warden, and a cowed and at least +partially "bossed" vestry--and he, the rector, with no practical power +of appeal for the enforcement of his legal contract. It was only +thanks to Jonathan Jackson, the Junior Warden, that any revenue at all +reached him; for Bascom had used every grain of influence he possessed +to reduce or stop Maxwell's salary. Mrs. Betty, plucky and cheery +though she was, already showed the results of the weary struggle: it +was not the work that took the color from her cheeks and the freshness +from her face, but the worry incidental to causes which, in any other +calling in life but his, would be removable. + +Already he had parted with a considerable number of his books to eke +out, and meet the many calls upon him--urgent and insistent calls. It +became abundantly clear, as his mind strayed from the manuscript +before him and turned to their immediate situation, that he was +already forced to choose between two alternatives: either he must give +up, and own himself and all the better influences in the place beaten +by Bascom and his satellites; or he must find some means of augmenting +his means of living, without allowing his time and energy to be +monopolized to the neglect of essential parish and church duties. + +As he thought on these things, somehow his enthusiasm for foreign +missions ebbed away, and left him desperately tired and worried. He +made several abortive attempts to put some fire into his missionary +plea, but it was useless; and he was about to give up when he heard +Mrs. Betty's gentle voice inquiring from the next room: + +"May I come in? Haven't you finished that wretched old missionary +sermon yet?" + +"No, dear; but why aren't you asleep?" + +"I have been anxious about you. You are worn out and you need your +rest. Now just let the heathen rage, and go to bed." + +Maxwell made no reply, but picked at his manuscript aimlessly with his +pen. Betty looked into his face, and then the whole stress of the +situation pierced her; and sitting down by his side she dropped her +head on his shoulder and with one arm around his neck stroked his +cheek with her fingers. For a few moments neither of them spoke; and +then Maxwell said quietly: + +"Betty, love, I am going to work." + +"But Donny, you are one of the hardest working men in this town. What +do you mean?" + +"Oh, I mean that I am going to find secular work, the work of a day +laborer, if necessary. Matters have come to a crisis, and I simply +cannot stand this sort of thing any longer. If I were alone I might +get along; but I have you, sweetheart, and----" + +Maxwell stopped suddenly, and the brave little woman at his side +said: + +"Yes, I know all about it, Donald, and I think you are fully justified +in doing anything you think best." + +"And you wouldn't feel ashamed of me if I handled a shovel or dug in +the street?" + +"I'd be the proudest woman in the town, Donny; you are just your fine +dear self, whatever you do; and if you have the courage to put your +pride in your pocket and work in overalls, that would make you all the +finer to me. Manual work would relieve the tension of your nerves. You +seem to be in fairly good physical condition. Don't you worry one bit +about me. I am going to wash some lace curtains for Mrs. Roscoe-Jones, +and that will keep me out of mischief. Now, if you will allow me, I am +going to tear up that sermon on foreign missions, and start a little +home mission of my own by sending you to bed." + +The second morning after this ruthless destruction of Maxwell's +eloquent plea for the mission at Bankolulu, Danny Dolan drove up to +the tent-rectory at half-past six, and Maxwell emerged and jumped up +by Danny's side, dressed in a rather soiled suit of overalls: Danny +was a teamster, a good looking youth, and a devoted friend of +Maxwell's since the parson had taken care of him and his family +through an attack of malignant diphtheria. But while Danny was a most +loyal friend, he was not of the emotional type, and so, when Maxwell +had seated himself comfortably and had lighted his briar pipe, Danny +started down the road at a vigorous pace, grinning broadly at +Maxwell's attire as he remarked: + +"So you're really goin' to work like the rest of us, I reckon." + +"Right you are, Danny--four days a week, anyhow. Don't I look like the +real thing?" + +"Sure you do; only you better not shave every day, and you'll have to +get your hands dirty before you can fool anybody, and maybe your +face'll give you away even then. Be you comfortable in them clothes?" + +"Sure thing; I'm never so contented as I am in working clothes." + +"That's all right. You're the stuff. But how about the proper old +maids in the parish who ogle and dance around you; they won't cotton +to your clothes a little bit. They'll think you're degradin' of +yourself and disgracin' of the parish. Here you be ridin' on a stone +wagon, and you don't look a bit better than me, if I do say it." + +"I'm afraid they'll have to survive the shock somehow or other; a man +has to dress according to his work." + +"Hm! Now there's that there Mrs. Roscoe-Jones and Miss Bascom; I'll +bet if they saw you in that rig they'd throw a fit." + +"Oh no; it isn't as bad as that, Danny." + +"They'd think you'd been disgraced for life, to become a laborin' man, +you bet." + +"A what?" + +"A laborin' man." + +"Then you think that a parson doesn't labor?" + +"Well, I always thought that bein' a parson was a dead easy job, and a +nice clean job too." + +"Danny," Maxwell inquired after a momentary silence, "don't you +suppose that a man labors with his brain as well as with his muscles? +And sometimes a parson labors with his heart, and that is the hardest +kind of work a man ever does. The man who is most of a laboring man +is the man who labors with every power and faculty he possesses." + +"Well, now, I guess that may be right, if you look at it that way." + +"Yes; you speak of a laboring man, and you mean a man who uses his +muscles and lets his brain and his feelings die of starvation. To try +to help some one you're fond of, who is going to the bad, is the most +nerve-racking and exhausting work which any man can possibly do." + +"Hm! you always was a dum queer parson, more like the rest of us, +somehow. And you don't hold that you're disgracin' your profession +ridin' with me, and shovelin' gravel?" + +"I don't seem to be worrying much about it, do I?" + +"No," he agreed--and added, "and I'm dum sure I would like a day off +now and then from preachin' and callin' on old maids, if I was you. +But there's times I might be willin' for to let you take my work for +yours." + +"Now see here, if you'll do my work for a few days, I'll do yours." + +"Well, what'd I have to do? I 'aint makin' any contract without +specifications." + +"Well, suppose we say you do my work Saturday and Sunday. That means +you finish up two sermons, which must be original and interesting +when you are preaching to the same set of people about a hundred and +fifty times a year. Then you must go and see a woman who is always +complaining, and listen to her woes for three-quarters of an hour. +Then you must go and see what you can do for Tom Bradsaw, who is dying +of tuberculosis. Then you must conduct a choir rehearsal--not always +the highest gratification of a musical ear. Sunday, you must conduct +four services and try to rouse a handful of people, who stare at you +from the back pews, to some higher ideals of life and common decency, +Then----" + +"Oh, heavens, man! Sure, an' that's enough; I stick to the stone wagon +every time." + +"You'd be a fool if you didn't," replied Maxwell straightly. "Then +again you get your pay promptly every Saturday night. I never know +when I am going to get mine." + +"You don't? Begad, and I wouldn't work for anybody if I wasn't paid +prompt. I'd sue the Bishop or the Pope, or somebody." + +"Parsons don't sue: it's considered improper." + +"Well, well," muttered the astonished Danny. "Be you sure you can +shovel stone then?" he asked. + +Maxwell unbuttoned his wristband, rolled up his sleeve. "If I can't, +I'll know the reason why," he remarked tersely. + +"That's the stuff," laughed Danny, looking at Maxwell's muscle. "I +guess I don't want to meet you out walkin' after dark without a gun. +But say, why don't you swat the Bishop one, and get your pay?" + +"The Bishop isn't responsible." + +"Well, I'll bet I know who is, dang him; and I'd like to swat him one +for you, the miserable old bag-of-bones." + +"Never you mind, Danny; I can take care of myself." + +"Sure you can, and I guess you're a laborin' man all right, even if +you don't belong to the Union. Why don't you get up a parson's Union +and go on strike? By Jove! I would. Let your parish go to----" + +"Danny, don't you think it looks like rain?" + +"No, neither do you; but here we are at the stone pile. My! but how +the fellers will grin when they see a tenderfoot like you, and a +parson at that, shovelin' stone. But they won't think any the less of +you for it, mind you," he reassured his companion. + +Maxwell knew most of the men, and greeted them by name, and when he +rolled up his sleeves and began work, they quickly saw that he was "no +slouch," and that he did not "soldier," or shirk, as many of them +did--though sometimes they were inclined to rest on their shovels and +chaff him good-naturedly, and ask him if he had his Union card with +him. + +Shoveling stone is no picnic, as Danny and his fellows would have put +it. It is not only the hard, obstructed thrust, thrust of the shovel +into the heap of broken stone, and the constant lift and swing of each +shovelful into the wagon; it is the slow monotony of repetition of +unvarying motion that becomes most irksome to the tyro, and wears down +the nervous system of the old hand till his whole being is leveled to +the insensibility of a soulless machine. + +But, though new to the process itself, Maxwell was not ignorant of its +effects; and soon he found himself distracting his attention from the +strain of the muscular tension by fitting the action to the rhythm of +some old sailor's chanteys he had learned at college. The effect +amused the men; and then as some of them caught the beat, and others +joined in, soon the whole gang was ringing the changes on the simple +airs, and found it a rousing and cheerful diversion from the monotony +of labor. + +If a pause came, soon one of them would call out: "Come on, Parson; +strike up the hymn." + +One by one the wagons were loaded, and driven to the road. After they +had filled the last wagon, Danny put on his coat, and he and Maxwell +mounted and drove out of the yard. + +"Where are we going with this?" Maxwell inquired. + +"Down on the state road, first turn to the left." + +"Why, that must be near Willow Bluff, Mr. Bascom's place, isn't it?" + +"Right opposite. Bascom, he come out yesterday, and said he wouldn't +stand for that steam roller snortin' back and forth in front of his +house. But Jim Ferris told him he had his orders from Williamson, and +he wasn't goin' to be held up by nobody until Williamson told him to +stop. Jim isn't any kind of fool." + +When they arrived in front of Willow Bluff, they stopped, dismounted, +and dumped the crushed stone, and then returned to the stone yard. At +noon they camped out on the curb in front of Willow Bluff. After +Maxwell had done full justice to the contents of his dinner pail, he +stretched himself full length on the grass for a few moments, chatting +with his mates in friendly fashion. Then he went over to the roller +and assisted the engineer in "oiling up." Being a novice at the +business, he managed to get his hands black with oil, and smeared a +streak across one cheek, which, while it helped to obscure his +identity, did not add to his facial beauty. He was blissfully +unconscious of this. About three o'clock Bascom returned from his +office, just as Maxwell was dismounting from the wagon after bringing +a load. At first Bascom did not recognize the rector, but a second +glance brought the awful truth home to his subliminal self, and he +stopped and stared at Maxwell, stricken dumb. Maxwell politely touched +his hat, and smilingly remarked that it was a fine day. Bascom made no +reply at first. + +[Illustration: "I CONSIDER IT A SHAME AND A DISGRACE TO THE PARISH TO +HAVE OUR RECTOR IN FILTHY CLOTHES, DRAWING STONE WITH A +LOT OF RUFFIANS"] + +"Can it be possible that this is you, Mr. Maxwell?" he almost +whispered, at last. + +"It is, to the best of my knowledge and belief." + +"What in the name of heaven are you working with these men for, if I +may ask?" + +"To earn sufficient money to pay my grocer's bill." + +Bascom colored hotly, and sputtered: + +"I consider it a shame and a disgrace to the parish to have our rector +in filthy clothes, drawing stone with a lot of ruffians." + +Maxwell colored as hotly, and replied: + +"They are not ruffians, sir; they are honest men, supporting their +families in a perfectly legitimate way, giving their labor +and"--significantly--"receiving their pay for it." + +"And you, sir, are engaged to work for the parish, as a minister of +God." + +"Unfortunately, I am not being paid by the parish; that is why I am +working here. Neither my wife nor myself is going to starve." + +"You haven't any pride, sir!" Bascom fumed, his temper out of control. +"We have had many incompetent rectors, but this really surpasses +anything. We have never had anyone like you." + +Maxwell paused again in his work, and, leaning on his shovel, looked +Bascom in the eye: + +"By which you mean that you have never had anyone who was independent +enough to grip the situation in both hands and do exactly what he +thought best, independent of your dictation." + +"I will not converse with you any more. You are insulting." + +"As the corporation is paying me for my time, I prefer work to +conversation." + +Bascom strode along the road towards his home. Danny Dolan, who had +been a shameless auditor of this conversation, from the other side of +the wagon, was beside himself with delight: + +"Holy Moses! but didn't you give it to the old man. And here be all +your adorers from town after comin' to tea at the house, and you +lookin' like the stoker of an engine with black grease half an inch +thick on your cheek." + +Maxwell pulled out his handkerchief, and made an abortive effort to +get his face clean. + +"How is it now, Danny?" + +"Oh, it 'aint nearly as thick in any one place; it's mostly all over +your face now." Then Danny laughed irreverently again. "Sure, an' you +certainly do look like the real thing now." + +Maxwell was raking gravel when the guests for the afternoon tea were +passing; and though he did not look up, he fully realized that they +had recognized him, from the buzz of talk and the turning of heads. + +Danny returned from his safer distance when he saw the coast was +clear. Maxwell had a shrewd suspicion that the boy had taken himself +off believing it might embarrass Maxwell less if any of the ladies +should speak to him. + +"Did none of 'em know you, then?" he asked. + +"Not one of them spoke; I guess my disguise is pretty complete." + +"Thank hiven!" Danny exclaimed. "Then the crisis is passed for to-day +at least, and your reputation is saved; but if you don't get out of +this they'll be comin' out again, and then nobody knows what'll +happen. Better smear some more oil over the other cheek to cover the +last bit of dacency left in you." + +At the end of the day's work, Maxwell threw his shovel into Dolan's +wagon and jumped up on the seat with him and drove back to town. + +"Well," said Maxwell's friend, delightedly, "you done a mighty good +day's work for a tenderfoot; but you done more with that old Bascom +than in all the rest of the day put together. My! but I thought I'd +split my sides to see you puttin' him where he belonged, and you +lookin' like a coal heaver. But it's a howlin' shame you didn't speak +to them women, goin' all rigged up for the party. That would've been +the finishin' touch." + +He swayed about on his seat, laughing heartily, until they drew up +before the rectory, where Mrs. Betty was waiting to greet Maxwell. + +Danny touched his cap shyly--but Betty came down to the wagon and gave +him a cheery greeting. + +"Well--you've brought him back alive, Mr. Dolan, anyway." + +"Yes ma'am! And I reckon he'll keep you busy puttin' the food to him, +if he eats like he works: he's a glutton for work, is Mr. Maxwell." + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER XXI + +UNINVITED GUESTS + + +A few nights later, when Maxwell returned from his work he found Mrs. +Burke sitting on the front platform of the tent with Mrs. Betty; and +having washed, and changed his clothes, he persuaded their visitor to +stay to supper. After supper was over they sat out doors, chatting of +Maxwell's amusing experiences. + +They had not been sitting long when their attention was attracted by a +noise up the street, and going to the fence they saw a horse, over +which the driver evidently had lost control, galloping towards them, +with a buggy which was swerving from side to side under the momentum +of its terrific speed. + +Maxwell rushed into the middle of the street to see if he could be of +any assistance in stopping the horse and preventing a catastrophe; but +before he could get near enough to be of any service the animal +suddenly shied, the buggy gave a final lurch, overturned, and was +thrown violently against a telegraph pole. The horse, freed, dashed +on, dragging the shafts and part of the harness. The occupant of the +buggy had been thrown out against the telegraph pole with considerable +force, knocked senseless, and lay in the gutter, stained with blood +and dirt. Mrs. Burke and Betty lifted the body of the buggy, while +Maxwell pulled out from under it the senseless form of a man; and when +they had turned him over and wiped the blood from his face, they +discovered, to their utter amazement, that the victim was no less a +personage than the Senior Warden, Sylvester Bascom. + +Of course there was nothing to be done but to carry him as best they +could into the tent, and lay him on a lounge. Maxwell ran hastily for +a doctor, while Hepsey and Mrs. Betty applied restoratives, washed the +face of the injured man, and bound up as best they could what appeared +to be a serious wound on one wrist, and another on the side of his +head. The doctor responded promptly, and after a thorough examination +announced that Bascom was seriously hurt, and that at present it would +be dangerous to remove him. So Mrs. Betty and her guest removed +Maxwell's personal belongings, and improvised a bed in the front room +of the tent, into which Bascom was lifted with the greatest care. +Having done what he could, the doctor departed, promising to return +soon. In about twenty minutes there were signs of returning +consciousness, and for some time Bascom looked about him in a dazed +way, and groaned with pain. Mrs. Burke decided at once to remain all +night with Mrs. Betty, and assist in caring for the warden until +Virginia could arrive and assume charge of the case. After about an +hour, Bascom seemed to be fully conscious as he gazed from one face to +another, and looked wonderingly at the canvas tent in which he found +himself. Mrs. Burke bent over him and inquired: + +"Are you in much pain, Mr. Bascom?" + +For a moment or two the Senior Warden made no answer; then in a hoarse +whisper he inquired: + +"Where am I? What has happened?" + +"Well, you see, something frightened your horse, and your buggy was +overturned, and you were thrown against a telegraph pole and injured +more or less. We picked you up and brought you in here, cleaned you +up, and tried to make you as comfortable as possible. The doctor has +been here and looked you over, and will return in a few minutes." + +"Am I seriously injured?" + +"You have two bad wounds, and have evidently lost a good deal of +blood; but don't worry. Mrs. Betty and I and the rest of us will take +good care of you and do all we can until Virginia is able to take you +home again." + +"Where am I?" + +A curious expression of mild triumph and amusement played across Mrs. +Burke's face as she replied: + +"You are in Donald Maxwell's tent. This was the nearest place where we +could bring you at the time of the accident." + +For a moment a vestige of color appeared in Bascom's face, and he +whispered hoarsely: + +"Why didn't you take me home?" + +"Well, we were afraid to move you until the doctor had examined you +thoroughly." + +The patient closed his eyes wearily. + +It was evident that he was growing weaker, and just as the doctor +returned, he again lapsed into unconsciousness. The doctor felt of +Bascom's pulse, and sent Maxwell hastily for Doctor Field for +consultation. For fifteen minutes the doctors were alone in Bascom's +room, and then Doctor Field called Maxwell in and quietly informed him +that the warden had lost so much blood from the wound in the wrist +that there was danger of immediate collapse unless they resorted to +extreme measures, and bled some one to supply the patient. To this +Maxwell instantly replied: + +"I am strong and well. There is no reason why you should hesitate for +a moment. Send for your instruments at once; but my wife must know +nothing of it until it is all over with. Tell Mrs. Burke to take her +over to Thunder Cliff for an hour or two, on the pretext of getting +some bedding. Yes, I insist on having my own way, and as you say, +there is no time to be lost." + +Doctor Field took Mrs. Burke aside, and the women immediately departed +for Thunder Cliff. The necessary instruments were brought, and then +the three men entered the sick room. + +In about twenty minutes Maxwell came out of the invalid's room, +assisted by Doctor Field, and stretched himself on the bed. + +Bascom's color began slowly to return; his pulse quickened, and Dr. +Field remarked to his colleague: + +"Well, I think the old chap is going to pull through after all; but it +was a mighty close squeak." + +Meanwhile, the messenger who had been sent out to Willow Bluff to +apprise Virginia of her father's accident returned with the +information that Virginia had left the day before, to stay with +friends, and could not possibly get home till next day. It was decided +to telegraph for her; and in the meantime the doctors advised that Mr. +Bascom be left quietly in his bed at the new "rectory," and be moved +home next day, after having recovered some of his lost strength. Mrs. +Betty and Mrs. Burke took turns in watching by the invalid that night, +and it might have been observed that his eyes remained closed, even +when he did not sleep, while Mrs. Burke was in attendance, but that he +watched Mrs. Betty with keen curiosity and wonder, from between +half-closed lids, as she sat at the foot of his bed sewing, or moved +about noiselessly preparing the nourishment prescribed for him by the +doctors, and which the old gentleman took from her with unusual +gentleness and patience. + +It was Mrs. Burke who, having learned of the time when Virginia was +expected to return home, drove out to Willow Bluff with Mr. Bascom, +and assisted in making him comfortable there before his daughter's +arrival. He volunteered no word on their way thither, but lay back +among his cushions and pillows with closed eyes, pale and +exhausted--though the doctors assured the Maxwells that there was no +cause for anxiety on the score of his removal, when they urged that he +be left in their care until he had regained more strength. + +It was a white and scared Virginia who listened to Hepsey's account of +all that had happened--an account which neither over-stated the +Bascoms' debt to the Maxwells nor spared Virginia's guilty +conscience. + +When she found that her father had been the guest of the Maxwells and +that they had played the part of good Samaritans to him in the tent in +which the Senior Warden had obliged them to take refuge, she was +thoroughly mortified, and there was a struggle between false pride and +proper gratitude. + +"It is very awkward, is it not, Mrs. Burke?" she said. "I ought +certainly to call on Mrs. Maxwell and thank her--but--under the +circumstances----" + +"What circumstances?" asked Hepsey. + +"Well, you know, it will be very embarrassing for me to go to Mr. +Maxwell's tent after what has happened between him and--my father." + +"I'm not sure that I catch on, Virginia. Which happenin' do you mean? +Your father's cold-blooded ejection of the Maxwells from their house, +or Mr. Maxwell's warm-blooded sacrifice to save your father's life? +Perhaps it _is_ a bit embarrassing, as you call it, to thank a man for +givin' his blood to save your father." + +"It is a more personal matter than that," replied Virginia, gazing +dramatically out of the window. "You don't quite seem to appreciate +the delicacy of the situation, Mrs. Burke." + +"No, I'm blessed if I do. But then you know I'm very stupid about some +things, Virginia. Fact is, I'm just stupid enough to imagine--no, I +mean think--that it would be the most natural thing in the world to go +straight to the Maxwells and thank 'em for all they've done for your +father in takin' him in and givin' him the kind of care that money +can't buy. There's special reasons that I needn't mention why you +should say thank you, and say it right." + +Virginia examined the toe of her boot for some time in silence and +then began: + +"But you don't understand the situation, Mrs. Burke." + +"Virginia, if you don't stop that kind of thing, I shall certainly +send for the police. Are you _lookin'_ for a situation? If you have +got anything to say, say it." + +"Well, to be quite frank with you, Mrs. Burke, I must confess that at +one time Mr. Maxwell and I were supposed to be very good friends." + +"Naturally. You ought to be good friends with your rector. I don't see +anything tragic about that." + +"But we were something more than friends." + +"Who told you? You can't believe all you hear in a town like this. +Maybe some one was foolin' you." + +"I ought to know what I am talking about. He accepted our hospitality +at Willow Bluff, and was so attentive that people began to make +remarks." + +"Well, people have been makin' remarks ever since Eve told Adam to put +his apron on for dinner. Any fool can make remarks, and the biggest +fool is the one who cares. Are you sure that you didn't make any +remarks yourself, Virginia?" + +Virginia instantly bridled, and looked the picture of injured +innocence. + +"Certainly not!" she retorted. "Do you think that I would talk about +such a delicate matter before others?" + +"Oh no; I suppose not. But you could look wise and foolish at the same +time when Maxwell's name was mentioned, with a coy and kittenish air +which would suggest more than ten volumes of Mary Jane Holmes." + +"You are not very sympathetic, Mrs. Burke, when I am in deep trouble. +I want your help, not ridicule and abuse." + +"Well, I am sorry for you, Virginia, in more ways than one. But really +I'd like to know what reason you have to think that Donald Maxwell was +ever in love with you; I suppose that's what you mean." + +Virginia blushed deeply, as became a gentle maiden of her tender +years, and replied: + +"Oh, it is not a question of things which one can easily define. Love +is vocal without words, you know." + +"Hm! You don't mean that he made love to you and proposed to you +through a phonograph? You know I had some sort of idea that love that +was all wool, and a yard wide, and meant business, usually got vocal +at times." + +"But Mr. Maxwell and I were thrown together in such an intimate way in +parish work, you know." + +"Which did the throwing?" + +"You don't for one moment suppose that I would intrude myself, or +press myself on his attention, do you?" + +"Oh my gracious, no! He is not the kind of a man to be easily +impressed. He may have seen a girl or two before he met you; of course +I mean just incidentally, as it were. Now, Virginia Bascom, allow me +to ask you one or two plain questions. Did he ever ask you to marry +him?" + +"No, not in so many words." + +"Did he ever give you any plain indication that he wanted to marry +you? Did he ever play the mandolin under your window at midnight? Did +he ever steal one of your gloves, or beg for a rose out of your +bouquet, or turn the gas out when he called?" + +"No, but one night he sat on the sofa with me and told me that I was a +great assistance to him in his parish work, and that he felt greatly +indebted to me." + +"Hm! That's certainly rather pronounced, isn't it? Did you call your +father, or rise hastily and leave the room, or what did you do?" + +"Well, of course it was not a proposal, but the way he did it was very +suggestive, and calculated to give a wrong impression, especially as +he had his arm on the back of the sofa behind me." + +"Maybe he was makin' love to the sofa. Didn't you know that Donald +Maxwell was engaged to be married before he ever set foot in +Durford?" + +"Good gracious, no! What are you talking about?" + +"Well, he certainly was, for keeps." + +"Then he had no business to pose as a free man, if he were engaged. It +is dreadful to have to lose faith in one's rector. It is next to +losing faith in--in----" + +"The milk-man. Yes, I quite agree with you. But you see I don't recall +that Donald Maxwell did any posing. He simply kept quiet about his own +affairs--though I do think that it would have been better to let +people know that he was engaged, from the start. However, he may have +concluded his private affairs were his own business. I know that's +very stupid; but some people will persist in doin' it, in spite of all +you can say to 'em. Perhaps it never occurred to him that he would be +expected to marry anyone living in a little sawed-off settlement like +this." + +"There's no use in abusing your native village; and"--her voice +quavered on the verge of tears--"I think you are very unsympathetic." +She buried her nose in her handkerchief. + +Mrs. Burke gazed sternly at Virginia for a full minute and then +inquired: + +"Well, do you want to know why? You started with just foolishness, but +you've ended up with meanness, Virginia Bascom. You've taken your +revenge on people who've done you nothin' but kindness. I know pretty +well who it was that suggested to your father that the mortgage on the +rectory should be foreclosed, and the Maxwells turned out of house and +home. He's always been close-fisted, but I've never known him to be +dead ugly and vindictive before. + +"Yes. You were behind all this wretched business--and you're sorry for +it, and wish you could undo the unkindness you've done. Now I am goin' +to talk business--better than talkin' sympathy, because it'll make you +feel better when you've done what I tell you. You go and call on Mrs. +Betty immediately, and tell her that you are very grateful to her +husband for saving your father's life, and that money couldn't +possibly pay for the things she and Mr. Maxwell did for him, and that +you're everlastingly indebted to 'em both." + +"But--but," wailed the repentant Virginia, "what can I say about the +tent? Pa won't go back on that--not if his life had been saved twice +over." + +"Never you mind about that. You do your part of the business, and +leave the rest to the other feller. You can bet your bottom dollar it +won't be the Maxwells that'll raise the question of who turned 'em out +of the rectory." + +"I'll go right away, before I weaken. Oh," she cried, as Hepsey put a +strengthening arm about her, "I've been wrong--I know I have. However +shall I make it right again?" + +When Virginia arrived at the tent and pulled the bell-cord, Mrs. Betty +pushed apart the curtains and greeted her visitor with the utmost +cordiality. + +"Oh, Miss Bascom! I am _so_ glad to see you. Come right in. Donald is +out just now; but he will return presently, and I'm sure will be +delighted to see an old friend. This way, please. Is your father +improving satisfactorily?" + +This greeting was so utterly different from what she had expected, +that for the moment she was silent; but when they were seated she +began: + +"Mrs. Maxwell, I don't know how to express my gratitude to you for all +you have done for my father. I--I----" + +"Then I wouldn't try, Miss Bascom. Don't give the matter a single +thought. We were glad to do what we could for your father, and we made +him as comfortable as we could." + +Virginia's heart was quite atrophied, and so with choking voice she +began: + +"And I'm afraid that I have not been very civil to you--in fact, I am +sure that I owe you an apology----" + +"No, never mind. It's all right now. Suppose you take off your things +and stay to supper with us. Then we can have a real good visit, and +you will see how well we dwellers in tents can live!" + +Virginia winced; but for some reason which she could not understand +she found it quite impossible to decline the invitation. + +"I'm sure you are very kind, Mrs. Maxwell; but I'm afraid I shall +inconvenience you." + +"Oh no, not a bit. Now will you be a real good Samaritan and help me a +little, as I have no maid? You might set the table if you don't mind, +and when Donald comes we shall be ready for him. This is really quite +jolly," she added, bustling about, showing Virginia where to find +things. + +"I am afraid," Virginia began with something like a sob in her voice, +"that you are heaping coals of fire on my head." + +"Oh no; not when coal is over seven dollars a ton. We couldn't afford +such extravagant hospitality as that. You might arrange those +carnations in the vase if you will, while I attend to the cooking. You +will find the china, and the silver, in that chest. I won't apologize +for the primitive character of our entertainment because you see when +we came down here we stored most of our things in Mrs. Burke's barn. +It is awfully nice to have somebody with me; I am so much alone; you +came just in time to save me from the blues." + +When Mrs. Betty disappeared in the "kitchen," and Virginia began the +task assigned her, a very queer and not altogether pleasant sensation +filled her heart. Was it remorse, or penitence, or self-reproach, or +indigestion? She could not be absolutely sure about it, but concluded +that perhaps it was a combination of all four. When Donald returned, +and discovered Virginia trying to decide whether they would need two +spoons or three at each plate, for an instant he was too astonished to +speak; but quickly regaining his easy manner, he welcomed her no less +cordially than Mrs. Betty had done, remarking: + +"Well, this is a treat; and so you are going to have supper with us? +That will be a great pleasure." + +Virginia almost collapsed in momentary embarrassment, and could think +of nothing better than to ask: + +"I am not sure what Mrs. Maxwell is going to have for supper, and I +really don't know whether to place two spoons or three. What would you +advise, Mr. Maxwell?" + +Maxwell scowled seriously, rubbed his chin and replied: + +"Well, you know, I really can't say; but perhaps it would be on the +safe side to have three spoons in case any emergency might arise, +like a custard, or jelly and whipped cream, or something else which +Betty likes to make as a surprise. Yes, on the whole, I think that +three would be better than two." + +When Virginia had placed the spoons, and Maxwell had returned to +assist her, she hesitated a moment and looked at him with tears in her +eyes and began: + +"Mr. Maxwell, there is something I must say to you, an acknowledgment +and an apology I must make. I have been so horribly----" + +"Now see here, Miss Virginia," the rector replied, "you just forget +it. We are awfully glad to have you here, and we are going to have a +right jolly supper together. Betty's muffins are simply fine, and her +creamed chicken is a dream. Besides, I want to consult you concerning +the new wardrobe I am going to have built in the vestry. You see there +is the question of the drawers, and the shelves, and----" + +"Never mind the drawers and the shelves," Mrs. Betty remarked as she +entered with the creamed chicken and the muffins. "You just sit down +before these things get cold, and you can talk business afterwards." + +To her utter astonishment Virginia soon found herself eating heartily, +utterly at her ease in the cordial, friendly atmosphere of tent-life, +and when Maxwell took her home later in the evening, she hadn't +apologized or wallowed in an agony of self-reproach. She had only +demanded the recipe for the muffins, and had declared that she was +coming again very soon if Mrs. Betty would only let her. + +And last but not least--the rector's polite attention in acting as her +escort home failed to work upon her dramatic temperament with any more +startling effect than to produce a feeling that he was a very good +friend. + +In fact, she wondered, as she conned over the events of the evening, +whether she had realized before, all that the word _Friendship_ +signified. + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER XXII + +HEPSEY'S DIPLOMACY + + +"I don't rightly know what's got into Virginia Bascom," remarked +Jonathan, as he sat on Hepsey's side porch one evening, making polite +conversation as his new habit was. "She's buzzin' round Mrs. Betty +like a bee round a flower--thicker'n thieves they be, by gum." + +"Yes," cogitated Hepsey, half to herself, and half in response, "the +lamb's lyin' down all right, and it's about time we'd got the lion +curled up by her and purrin' like a cat. But I don't see the signs of +it, and I'll have to take my knittin' to-morrow and sit right down in +his den and visit with him a little. If he won't purr, I've got +what'll make him roar, good and proper, or I've missed my guess." + +"Now Hepsey, you go easy with my church-partner, the Senior Warden. +When his wife lived, he was a decent sort of a feller, was Sylvester +Bascom; and I reckon she got him comin' her way more with molasses +than with vinegar." + +And though Hepsey snorted contempt for the advice of a mere male, she +found the thought top-side of her mind as she started out next morning +to pay Bascom a momentous call. After all, Jonathan had but echoed her +own consistent philosophy of life. But with her usual shrewdness she +decided to go armed with both kinds of ammunition. + +Mrs. Burke puffed somewhat loudly as she paused on the landing which +led to the door of Bascom's office. After wiping her forehead with her +handkerchief she gave three loud knocks on the painted glass of the +door, which shook some of the loose putty onto the floor. After +knocking the third time some one called out "Come in," and she opened +the door, entered, and gazed calmly across the room. Bascom was seated +at his desk talking to a farmer, and when he turned around and +discovered who his visitor was, he ejaculated irreverently: + +"Good Lord deliver us!" + +"Oh, do excuse me!" Mrs. Burke replied. "I didn't know that you were +sayin' the Litany. I'll just slip into the next room and wait till you +get through." + +Whereupon she stepped into the next room, closed the door, and made +herself comfortable in a large arm-chair. There was a long table in +the middle of the room, and the walls were covered with shelves and +yellow books of a most monotonous binding. The air was musty and +close. She quietly opened one of the windows, and having resumed her +seat, she pulled a wash-rag from her leather bag and began knitting +calmly. + +She waited for some time, occasionally glancing at the long table, +which was covered with what appeared to be a hopeless confusion of +letters, legal documents, and books opened and turned face downward. +Occasionally she sniffed in disgust at the general untidiness of the +place. Evidently the appearance of the table in front of her was +getting on her nerves; and so she put her knitting away as she +muttered to herself: + +"I wonder Virginia don't come up here once in a while and put things +to rights. It's simply awful!" Then she began sorting the papers and +gathering them into little uniform piles by themselves. She seemed to +have no notion whatever of their possible relation to each other, but +arranged them according to their size and color in nice little +separate piles. When there was nothing else left for her to do she +resumed her knitting and waited patiently for the departure of the +farmer. The two men seemed to be having a rather warm dispute over the +interpretation of some legal contract; and if Bascom was hot-tempered +and emphatic in his language, bordering on the profane, the client was +stubborn and dull-witted and hard to convince. Occasionally she +overheard bits of the controversy which were not intended for her +ears. Bascom insisted: + +"But you're not such a dum fool as to think that a contract legally +made between two parties is not binding, are you? You admit that I +have fulfilled my part, and now you must pay for the services rendered +or else I shall bring suit against you." + +The reply to this was not audible, but the farmer did not seem to be +quite convinced. + +After what seemed to her an interminable interval the door banged, and +she knew that Bascom was alone. She did not wait for any invitation, +but rising quietly she went into the inner office and took the chair +vacated by the farmer. Bascom made a pretense of writing, in silence, +with his back towards her, during which interval Hepsey waited +patiently. Then, looking up with the expression of a deaf-mute, he +asked colorlessly: + +"Well, Mrs. Burke, what may I do for you?" + +"You can do nothing for me--but you can and must do something for the +Maxwells," she replied firmly but quietly. + +"Don't you think it would be better to let Maxwell take care of his +own affairs?" + +"Yes, most certainly, if he were in a position to do so. But you know +that the clergy are a long-sufferin' lot, more's the pity; they'll +endure almost anythin' rather than complain. That's why you and others +take advantage of them." + +"Ah, but an earnest minister of the Gospel does not look for the +loaves and fishes of his calling." + +"I shouldn't think he would. I hate fish, myself; but Maxwell has a +perfect right to look for the honest fulfillment of a contract made +between you and him. Didn't I hear you tell that farmer that he was a +dum fool if he thought that a contract made between two parties is not +legally binding, and that if you fulfilled your part he must pay for +your services or you would sue him? Do you suppose that a contract +with a carpenter or a plumber or a mason is binding, while a contract +with a clergyman is not? What is the matter with you, anyway?" + +Bascom made no reply, but turned his back towards Hepsey and started +to write. She resumed: + +"Donald Maxwell's salary is goin' to be paid him in full within the +next two weeks or----" + +Mrs. Burke came to a sudden silence, and after a moment or two Bascom +turned around and inquired sarcastically: + +"Or what?" + +Hepsey continued to knit in silence for a while, her face working in +her effort to gain control of herself and speak calmly. + +"Now see here, Sylvester Bascom: I didn't come here to have a scene +with you, and if I knit like I was fussed, you must excuse me." + +Her needles had been flashing lightning, and truth to tell, Bascom, +for all he dreaded Hepsey's sharp tongue as nothing else in Durford, +had been unable to keep his eyes off those angry bits of sparkling +steel. Suddenly they stopped--dead. The knitting fell into Hepsey's +lap, and she sat forward--a pair of kindly, moist eyes searching the +depths of Bascom's, as he looked up at her. Her voice dropped to a +lower tone as she continued: + +"There's been just one person, and one person only, that's ever been +able to keep the best of you on top--and she was my best friend, your +wife. She kept you human, and turned even the worst side of you to +some account. If you did scrape and grub, 'most night and day, to make +your pile, and was hard on those that crossed your path while doin' of +it, it was she that showed you there was pleasure in usin' it for +others as well as for yourself, and while she lived you did it. But +since she's been gone,"--the old man tried to keep his face firm and +his glance steady, but in vain--he winced,--"since she's been gone, +the human in you's dried up like a sun-baked apple. And it's you, +Sylvester Bascom, that's been made the most miserable, 'spite of all +the little carks you've put on many another." + +His face hardened again, and Hepsey paused. + +"What has all this to do with Mr. Maxwell, may I ask?" + +"I'm comin' to that," continued Hepsey, patiently. "If Mary Bascom +were alive to-day, would the rector of Durford be livin' in a tent +instead of in the rectory--the house she thought she had given over, +without mortgage or anything else, to the church? And would you be +holdin' back your subscription to the church, and seein' that others +held back too? I never thought you'd have done, when she was dead, +what'd have broken her heart if she'd been livin'. The church was her +one great interest in life, after her husband and her daughter; and it +was _her_ good work that brought the parish to make you Senior Warden. +After you'd made money and moved to your new house, just before she +died, she gave the old house, that was hers from her father, to the +church, and you were to make the legal transfer of it. Then she died +suddenly, and you delayed and delayed--claiming the house as yours, +and at last sold it to us subject to the mortgage." + +The old man stirred uneasily in his chair. + +"This is all quite beside the mark. What might have been proper to do +in my wife's life-time became a different matter altogether after her +death. I had my daughter's welfare to think of; besides----" + +"I'm not talkin' about your legal right. But you know that if you'd +wanted to have it, you could have got your interest on the mortgage +quick enough. If you hadn't held back on his salary, others wouldn't +have; or if they had, you could have got after 'em. What's the use of +tryin' to mix each other up? You couldn't keep Maxwell in your pocket, +and because he didn't come to you every day for orders you reckoned to +turn him out of the parish. You've not one thing against him, and you +know it, Sylvester Bascom. He's shown you every kind of respect as +his Senior Warden, and more patience than you deserved. He let himself +be--no, _had_ himself--bled, to save your life. But instead of making +him the best young friend you could have had, and makin' yourself of +real use to your town and your neighbors through him and his work, +you've let the devil get into you; and when your accident come, you'd +got to where you were runnin' that fast down a steep place into the +sea that I could 'most hear the splash." + +She cocked her head on one side, and smiled at him whimsically, hoping +for some response to her humorous picture. A faint ghost of a +smile--was it, or was it not?--flickered on the old man's lips; but he +gave no sign of grace. + +Hepsey sighed, and paused for an instant. "Well--we can't sit here +talkin' till midnight, or I shall be compromisin' your reputation, I +suppose. There'll be a meeting of the parishioners called at the end +of this week, and the rector won't be present at it; so, Warden, I +suppose you'll preside. I hope you will. I've got to do my part--and +that is to see that the parish understands just how their rector's +placed, right now, both about his house and his salary. He's workin' +as a laborer to get enough for him and that little wife of his to live +on, and the town knows it--but they don't all know that it's because +the salary that's properly his is bein' held back on him, and by +those that pay their chauffeurs more than the rector gets, by a good +piece. I shall call on every one at that meetin' to pay up; and I +shall begin with the poorest, and end up"--she fixed Bascom's eye, +significantly--"with the richest. And if it seems to be my duty to do +it, I may have somethin' more to say when the subscription's +closed--but I don't believe--no," she added, opening her bag and +rummaging about among its contents till she hit upon a letter and +brought it forth, "no, I don't believe I'll have to say a thing. I've +got a hunch, Sylvester Bascom, that it'll be you that'll have the last +word, after all." + +[Illustration: "I'VE GOT A HUNCH, SYLVESTER BASCOM, THAT IT'LL BE YOU +THAT'LL HAVE THE LAST WORD, AFTER ALL"] + +The old man's glance was riveted upon the familiar handwriting of the +faded letter, and without a word Hepsey started to read it, date and +all, in a clear voice: + + * * * * * + + WILLOW BLUFF, DURFORD. + September ----, 19--. + +HEPSEY DEAR: + +I suppose you will never forgive me for making the move from the old +house to Willow Bluff, as it's to be called, while you were not home +to help me. But they got finished sooner than we thought for, and +Sylvester was as eager as a child with a new toy to get moved in. So +here we are, and the first letter I write from our new home is to you, +who helped more than anyone to make the old home happy for me and +mine--bless them and bless you! + +Everything is out of the old house--"The Rectory" as I shall call it, +now--except such pieces of furniture as we did not want to take away, +and we thought might be welcome to the parson (or parsons, I suppose) +who may occupy it. Sister Susan thought it slighting to Pa's +generosity to give the house to the church; but I don't look at it +like that. Anyway, it's done now--and I'm very happy to think that the +flock can offer a proper home to its shepherd, as long as the old +place stands. + +If you get back Thursday I shall just be ready for you to help me with +the shades and curtains, if you care to. + + Your friend, + MARION ANDERSON BASCOM. + +P. S. Ginty sends her love to Aunt Hepsey, and says, "to come to +Boston quick!" She's a little confused, someway, and can't get it out +of her head that we're not back home in Boston, since we left the old +place. I hope you are having a nice visit with Sally. + + * * * * * + +As Hepsey read, Sylvester Bascom turned, slowly, away from her, his +head on his hand, gazing out of the window. When she had finished +reading, the letter was folded up and replaced in the bag along with +her knitting. Then, laying her hand with a gentle, firm pressure on +the old man's shoulder, Mrs. Burke departed. + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER XXIII + +HEPSEY CALLS A MEETING + + +For the next few days Hepsey's mind worked in unfamiliar channels, for +her nature was that of a benevolent autocrat, and she had found +herself led by circumstances into a situation demanding the prowess +and elasticity of the diplomat. To begin with, she must risk a gamble +at the meeting: if the spiritual yeast did not rise in old Bascom, as +she hoped it would, and crown her strategy with success, she would +have to fall back on belligerent tactics, and see if it were not +possible to get his duty out of him by threatened force of public +opinion: and she knew that, with his obstinacy, it would be touch and +go on which side of the fence he would fall in a situation of that +kind--dependent, in fact, upon the half turn of a screw, more or less, +for the result. Furthermore, she concluded that beyond the vaguest +hint of her call on Bascom and the object of the meeting, she could +not show her hand to Maxwell; for he would feel it his duty to step in +and prevent the possibility of any such open breach as failure on +Hepsey's part would probably make in the parish solidarity. For once +she must keep her own counsel--except for Jonathan, whose present +infatuated condition made him an even safer and more satisfactory +source of "advice" than he normally was. But the evening before the +meeting, as he sat on Hepsey's porch, he began to experience qualms, +perhaps in his capacity as Junior Warden. But Hepsey turned upon him +relentlessly: + +"Now see here! You know I don't start somethin' unless I can see it +through; and if it means a scrap, so much the better. Next to a good +revival, a good hard scrap in a stupid parish has a real spiritual +value. It stimulates the circulation, increases the appetite, gives +people somethin' to think about, and does a lot of good where peaceful +ways would fail. The trouble with us is that we've always been a +sight too peaceful. If I've got to do it, I'm goin' to make a row, a +real jolly row that'll make some people wish they'd never been born. +No-no-no! Don't you try to interfere. We've come to a crisis, and I'm +goin' to meet it. Don't you worry until I begin to holler for first +aid to the injured. A woman can't vote for a vestryman, though women +form the bulk of the congregation, and do most all of the parish work; +and the whole church'd go to smithereens if it weren't for the women. +But there's one thing a woman can always do: _She can talk_. They say +that talk is cheap; but sometimes it's a mighty expensive article, if +it's the right kind; and maybe the men will have to settle the bills. +I'm going to _talk_; perhaps you think that's nothing new. But you +don't know how I can talk when once I get my dander up. Somebody's +goin' to sit up and pay attention this time. Bascom'll conclude to +preside at the meetin'; whichever way he means to act; and I've fixed +it so Maxwell will be engaged on other duties. No; go 'way. I don't +want to see you around here again until the whole thing's over." + +"All right Hepsey, all right. I guess if it goes through the way you +want you'll be that set up you'll be wantin' to marry old Bascom +'stead of me," chuckled Jonathan, as the lady of his choice turned to +enter the house. + +She faced round upon him as she reached the door, her features set +with grim determination: + +"If I get the whole caboodle, bag and baggage, from the meetin' and +from Bascom, there's no knowin' but what I'll send for the parson and +be married right there and then. There isn't a thing I could think of, +in the line of a real expensive sacrifice, that'd measure up as +compensation for winnin' out--not even marryin' you, Jonathan +Jackson." + +So Hepsey laid down lines for control of the meeting, ready with a +different variety of expedients, from point to point in its progress, +as Sylvester Bascom's attitude at the time might necessitate. For she +felt very little anxiety as to her ability to carry the main body of +the audience along with her. + +The night of the meeting the Sunday School Room, adjacent to the +church, was filled full to a seat at least a quarter of an hour before +the time announced for the meeting. Hepsey had provided herself with a +chair in the center of the front row, directly facing the low platform +to be occupied by the chairman. Her leather bag hung formidably on one +arm, and a long narrow blank book was laid on her lap. She took little +notice of her surroundings, and her anxiety was imperceptible, as she +thrummed with a pencil upon the book, glancing now and then at the +side door, watching for Bascom's entrance. The meeting buzzed light +conversation, as a preliminary. Had she miscalculated on the very +first move? Was he going to treat the whole affair with lofty disdain? +As the hour struck, dead silence reigned in the room, expectant; and +Jonathan, who sat next her, fidgeted nervously. + +"Five minutes' grace, and that's all; if he's not here by then, it'll +be up to you to call the meetin' to order," whispered Hepsey. + +"Sakes!" hissed the terrified Junior Warden, "you didn't say nothin' +about that, Hepsey," he protested. + +She leveled a withering glance at him, and was about to reduce him to +utter impotence by some scathing remark, when both were startled by a +voice in front of them, issuing from "the chair." Silently the Senior +Warden had entered, and had proceeded to open the meeting. His face +was set and stern, and his voice hard and toneless. No help from that +quarter, Hepsey mentally recorded. + +"As the rector of this parish is not able to be present I have been +asked to preside at this meeting. I believe that it was +instigated--that is suggested, by some of the ladies who believe that +there are some matters of importance which need immediate attention, +and must be presented to the congregation without delay. I must beg to +remind these ladies that the Wardens and Vestrymen are the business +officers of the church; and it seems to my poor judgment that if any +business is to be transacted, the proper way would be for the Vestry +to take care of it. However, I have complied with the request and have +undertaken to preside, in the absence of the rector. The meeting is +now open for business." + +Bascom sat down and gazed at the audience, but with a stare so +expressionless as gave no further index to his mood. For some time +there was a rather painful silence; but at last Hepsey Burke arose and +faced about to command the audience. + +"Brethren and sisters," she began, "a few of us women have made up our +minds that it's high time that somethin' was done towards payin' our +rector what we owe him, and that we furnish him with a proper house to +live in." + +At this point, a faint murmur of applause interrupted the speaker, who +replied: "There. There. Don't be too quick. You won't feel a bit like +applaudin' when I get through. It's a burnin' shame and disgrace that +we owe Mr. Maxwell about two hundred dollars, which means a mighty lot +to him, because if he was paid in full every month he would get just +about enough to keep his wife and himself from starvin' to death. I +wasn't asked to call this meetin'; I asked the rector to, and I asked +the Senior Warden to preside. And I told the rector that some of +us--both men and women--had business to talk about that wasn't for his +ears. For all he knows, we're here to pass a vote of censure on him. +The fact is that we have reached the point where somethin' has got to +be done right off quick; and if none of the Vestrymen do it, then a +poor shrinkin' little woman like myself has got to rise and mount the +band wagon. I'm no woman's rights woman, but I have a conscience +that'll keep me awake nights until I have freed my mind." + +Here Hepsey paused, and twirling her pencil between her lips, gazed +around at her auditors who were listening with breathless attention. +Then she suddenly exclaimed with suppressed wrath, and in her +penetrating tones: + +"What is the matter with you men, anyway? You'd have to pay your +butcher, or your baker, or your grocer, whether you wanted to or not. +Then why in the name of conscience don't you pay your parson? +Certainly religion that don't cost nothin' is worse than nothin'. I'll +tell you the reason why you don't support your parson: It's just +because your rector's a gentleman, and can't very well kick over the +traces, or balk, or sue you, even if you do starve him. So you, +prosperous, big-headed men think that you can sneak out of it. Oh, you +needn't shuffle and look mad; you're goin' to get the truth for once, +and I had Johnny Mullins lock the front door before I began." + +The whole audience responded to this sally with a laugh, but the +speaker relented not one iota. "Then when you've smit your rector on +one cheek you quote the Bible to make him think he ought to turn his +overcoat also." Another roar. "There: you don't need to think I'm +havin' a game. I'm not through yet. Now let's get right down to +business. We owe our rector a lot of money, and he is livin' in a tent +because we neglected to pay the interest on the rectory mortgage held +by the Senior Warden of our church. Talkin' plain business, and +nothin' else, turned him out of house and home, and we broke our +business contract with him. Yes we did! And now you know it. + +"Some of us have been sayin'--and I was one of 'em till Mr. Maxwell +corrected me--that it was mean of Mr. Bascom to turn the rector and +his wife out of their house. But business is business, and until we've +paid the last cent of our contributions, we haven't any right to +throw stones at anyone. Wait till we've done our part, for that! We've +been the laughing stock of the whole town because of our pesky +meanness. That tent of ours has stuck out on the landscape like a +horse fly on a pillow sham. + +"It's not my business to tell how the rector and his wife have had to +economize and suffer, to get along at all; or how nice and +uncomplainin' they've been through it all. They wouldn't want me to +say anythin' of that; sportsmen they are, both of 'em. The price of +food's gone up, and the rector's salary gone down like a teeter on a +log. + +"Now, as I remarked before, let's get right down to business. The only +way to raise that money is to raise it! There's no use larkin' all +'round Robin Hood's barn, or scampering round the mulberry bush any +longer. I don't care for fairs myself, where you have to go and buy +somethin' you don't want, for five times what it's worth, and call it +givin' to the Lord. And I don't care to give a chicken, and then have +to pay for eatin' the same old bird afterwards. I won't eat soda +biscuit unless I know who made 'em. Church fairs are an invention of +the devil to make people think they're religious, when they are only +mighty restless and selfish. + +"The only thing to do is to put your hands in your trousers pockets +and pay, cash down, just as you would in any business transaction. And +by cash, I don't mean five cents in the plate Sunday, and a dollar for +a show on Tuesday. We've none of us any business to pretend to give to +the Lord what doesn't cost a red cent, as the Bible says, somewheres. +Now don't get nervous. I'm going to start a subscription paper right +here and now. It'll save lots of trouble, and you ought to jump at the +chance. You'll be votin' me a plated ice-water pitcher before we get +through, for bein' so good to you--just as a little souvenir of the +evenin'." + +A disjointed murmur of disapproval rose from sundry parts of the room +at this summary way of meeting the emergency. Nelson, who had tried in +vain to catch the eye of the chair, rose at a venture and remarked +truculently: + +"This is a most unusual proceeding, Mrs. Burke." + +The chair remained immobile--but Hepsey turned upon the foe like a +flash of lightning. + +"Precisely, Mr. Nelson. And we are a most unusual parish. I don't +claim to have any information gained by world-wide travel, but livin' +my life as I've found it here, in ths town, I've got to say, that this +is the first time I ever heard of a church turnin' its rector out of +house and home, and refusin' to give him salary enough to buy food +for his family. Maybe in the course of your professional travels this +thing has got to be an everyday occurrence to you,--but there's some +of us here, that 'aint got much interest in such goings-on, outside of +Durford." + +"You have no authority to raise money for the church; I believe the +Warden will concur in that opinion?" and he bowed towards Bascom. + +"That is a point for the meeting to decide," he replied judicially, as +Hepsey turned towards him. + +"Seems to me," continued Mrs. Burke, facing the audience, "that +authority won't fill the rector's purse so well as cash. It's awful +curious how a church with six Vestrymen and two Wardens, all of them +good business men--men that can squeeze money out of a monkey-wrench, +and always get the best of the other fellow in a horse-trade, and +smoke cigars enough to pay the rector's whole salary--get limp and +faint and find it necessary to fall back on talkin' about 'authority' +when any money is to be raised. What we want in the parish is not +authority, but just everyday plain business hustle, the sort of hustle +that wears trousers; and as we don't seem to get that, the next best +kind is the sort that wears skirts. I'd always rather that men shall +do the public work than women; but if men won't, women must. What we +need right here in Durford is a few full grown men who aren't shirks +or quitters, who can put up prayers with one hand while they put down +the cash with the other; and I don't believe the Lord ever laid it up +against any man who paid first, and prayed afterwards. + +"Now brethren, don't all speak at once. I'm goin' to start takin' +subscriptions. Who's goin' to head the list?" + +A little withered old woman laboriously struggled to her feet, and in +a high-pitched, quavering voice began: + +"I'd like to give suthin' towards the end in view. Our rector were +powerful good to my Thomas when he had the brown kitties in his +throat. He came to see him mos' every day and read to him, and said +prayers with him, and brought him papers and jelly. He certainly were +powerful good to my Thomas; and once when Thomas had a fever our +rector said that he thought that a bath would do my Thomas a heap of +good, and he guessed he'd give him one. So I got some water in a bowl +and some soap, and our rector he just took off his coat, and his vest, +and his collar, and his cuffs, and our rector he washed Thomas, and he +washed him, and he wa----" + +"Well," Hepsey interrupted, to stay the flow of eloquence, "so you'd +like to pay for his laundry now, would you Mrs. Sumner? Shall I put +you down for two dollars? Good! Mrs. Sumner sets the ball rollin' with +two dollars. Who'll be the next?" + +As there was no response, Mrs. Burke glanced critically over the +assembly until she had picked her man, and then announced: + +"Hiram Mason, I'm sure you must be on the anxious bench?" + +Hiram colored painfully as he replied: + +"I don't know as I am prepared to say what I can give, just at +present, Mrs. Burke." + +"Well now let's think about it a little. Last night's _Daily Bugle_ +had your name in a list of those that gave ten dollars apiece at St. +Bridget's fair. I suppose the Irish trade's valuable to a grocer like +yourself; but you surely can't do less for your own church? I'll put +you down for ten, though of course you can double it if you like." + +"No," said Hiram, meditatively; "I guess ten'll do." + +"Hiram Mason gives ten dollars. The Lord loveth a cheerful giver. +Thanks, Hiram." + +Again there was a pause; and as no one volunteered, Hepsey continued: + +"Sylvester Perkins, how much will you give?" + +"I suppose I'll give five dollars," Sylvester responded, before Mrs. +Burke could have a chance to put him down for a larger sum. "But I +don't like this way of doin' things a little bit. It's not a woman's +place to hold up a man and rob him in public meetin'." + +"No, a woman usually goes through her husband's pockets when he's +asleep, I suppose. But you see I'm not your wife. Thanks, Mr. Perkins: +Mr. Perkins, _five_ dollars," she repeated as she entered his +subscription in the book. "Next?" she called briskly. + +"Mrs. Burke, I'll give twenty dollars, if you think that's enough," +called a voice from the back timidly. + +Everyone turned to the speaker in some surprise. He was a delicate, +slender fellow, evidently in bad health. He trembled nervously, and +Mrs. Burke hesitated for an instant, between fear of hurting his +feelings and letting him give more than she knew he could possibly +afford. + +"I am afraid you ought not to give so much, Amos. Let me put you down +for five," she said kindly. "We mustn't rob Peter to pay Paul." + +"No, ma'am, put me down for twenty," he persisted; and then burst +forth--"and I wish it was twenty thousand. I'd do anything for Mr. +Maxwell; I owe it to him, I tell you." + +The speaker hesitated a moment and wiped his forehead with his +handkerchief, and then continued slowly, and with obvious effort: + +"Maybe you'll think I am a fool to give myself away before a crowd +like this, and I a member of the church; but the simple fact is that +Mr. Maxwell saved my life once, when I was pretty near all in." + +Again the speaker stopped, breathing heavily, and there was absolute +silence in the room. Regaining his courage, he continued: "Yes, he +saved me, body and soul, and I guess I'll tell the whole story. Most +of you would have kicked me into the street or lodged me in jail; but +he wasn't that kind, thank God! + +"I was clerking in the Post Office a while back, and I left town one +night, suddenly. I'd been drinking some, and when I left, my accounts +were two hundred dollars short. The thing was kept quiet. Only two men +knew about it. Mr. Maxwell was one. He got the other man to keep his +mouth shut, handed over the amount, and chased after me and made me +come back with him and stay at his house for a while. Then he gave me +some work and helped me to make a new start. He didn't say a word of +reproach, nor he didn't talk religion to me. He just acted as if he +cared a whole lot for me, and wanted to put me on my feet again. + +"I didn't know for a long time where Mr. Maxwell got the money for me +but after a while I discovered that he'd given a chattel mortgage on +his books and personal belongings. Do you suppose that there's anybody +else in the world would have done that for me? It wasn't only his +giving me the money; it was finding that somebody trusted me and cared +for me, who had no business to trust me, and couldn't afford to trust +me. That's what saved me and kept me straight. + +"I haven't touched a drop since, and I never will. I've been paying my +debt to him as quick as I can, and as far as money can pay it; but all +the gold in the world wouldn't even me up with him. I don't know just +why I've told all about it, but I guess it's because I felt you ought +to know the kind of a man the rector is; and I'm glad he isn't here, +or he'd never have let me give him away like this." + +Amos sat down, while the astonished gathering stared at him, the +defaulter, who in a moment of gratitude had betrayed himself. The +woman next to him edged a little farther away from him and watched him +furtively, but he did not seem to care. + +Under the stimulus of this confession, the feelings of the people +quickly responded to the occasion, and a line soon formed, without +further need of wit or eloquence on Hepsey's part, to have their +subscriptions recorded. In half an hour, Mrs. Burke, whose face was +glowing with pleasure--albeit she glanced anxiously from time to time +towards old Mr. Bascom, in an endeavor to size up his mood and force +his intentions--had written down the name of the last volunteer. She +turned towards her audience: + +"As I don't want to keep you waitin' here all night while I add up the +subscriptions, I'll ask the chairman to do it for me and let you know +the result. He's quicker at figurin' than I am, I guess," with which +compliment, she smilingly handed the book to the Senior Warden. While +the old man bent to his task, the room buzzed with low, excited +conversation. Enough was already known of Bascom's hostility to the +rector, to make the meeting decidedly curious as to his attitude +towards Hepsey's remarks and the mortgage; and they knew him well +enough to be aware that he would not allow that item in her speech to +go unanswered, in some way or other. + +All eyes rested upon the gaunt figure of the chairman, as he rose to +his feet to announce the total of the subscription list. He cleared +his throat, and looked down at Hepsey Burke; and Jonathan, as he +squinted anxiously at Hepsey by his side, noticed that she sat with +her eyes tight-closed, oblivious of the chairman's glance. Jonathan +looked hastily up at Bascom, and noticed him shift his position a +little nervously, as he cleared his throat again. + +"The amount subscribed on this list, is two hundred and thirty-seven +dollars and thirty-five cents," he said. The loud applause was +instantaneous, and Jonathan turned quickly to Hepsey, as he stamped +his feet and clapped his hands. + +"Thirty-seven thirty-five more than we owe him; Hepsey, you've done +fine," he chortled. + +But Hepsey's look was now riveted on the chairman, and except for a +half-absent smile of pleasure, the keenest anxiety showed in her +expression. + +Bascom cleared his voice again, and then proceeded: + +"Mrs. Burke informed you that the rector's salary was in arrears to +the extent of about two hundred dollars. It is now for this meeting to +pass a formal resolution for the application of the amount subscribed +to the object in view." + +Hepsey's lips narrowed; not a cent was down on the list to the name of +the Senior Warden; the debt was being paid without assistance from +him. + +"I presume I may put it to the meeting that the amount, when +collected, be paid over to the rector by a committee formed for that +purpose?" proceeded the chairman. + +This resolution being duly seconded and carried, Bascom continued: + +"Before we adjourn I request the opportunity to make a few remarks, in +reply to Mrs. Burke's observations concerning the ejection of the +rector from the house which he occupied. She was good enough to spare +my feelings by pointing out that from a business or legal point of +view it was not I who was responsible for that act, but the +parishioners, who, having purchased the rectory subject to a mortgage, +had failed to meet the interest upon it. That is what Mrs. Burke said: +what she did not say, and what none of you have said in public, though +I reckon you've said it among yourselves, I will take upon myself to +say for her and you." + +He paused--and every eye was fixed upon him and every mouth agape in +paralysed astonishment: and the said features of Hepsey Burke were no +exception to the rule. + +"When," continued Bascom evenly and urbanely, "the word went round +that the interest on the mortgage had got behind, and the money must +be collected for it, those concerned no doubt remarked easily: 'Oh, I +guess that'll be all right. Bascom won't worry about that; he don't +need it; anyway he can pay it to himself, for the parish, if he +does.'" + +There was an uncomfortable stirring of the audience at this shrewd +thrust; but Hepsey could not contain herself, and laughed right out, +clapping loudly. + +"And yet I don't mind saying that if I had thought of suggesting to +anyone of you such a method of collecting interest due to you, you +might have kicked some," he commented dryly. + +"At the next step, when I ultimately concluded to act upon my right to +eject Mr. Maxwell from the rectory, I've no doubt that on all sides it +was: 'Well, did you ever know the likes of that? Turning the rector +out of house and home! Well he's a skinflint for fair!'" + +He paused and watched the effect. This time his hearers sat absolutely +motionless. + +"And I agree with you," he added presently, in a quiet voice: "I _was_ +a skinflint for fair!" + +Almost Hepsey forgot herself so far as to clap thunderously: she +caught her hands together just in time--recollecting that her +demonstration would be taken too literally. + +"But I would not have you misunderstand me: though it was for me to +call myself a skinflint for that act, it was not for you to do so. You +did so on wrong grounds. Those who in making money have been less +successful than others, find it convenient to leave all such +obligations upon the shoulders of the richer man, and to say 'it's up +to him; he can afford it.' Is it any wonder that it makes the rich man +sour on subscriptions and philanthropies? He has as much, or more, of +inducement to apply his earnings and savings to his own ends and +pleasures; why then, is it not up to all, in their own proportions to +meet social needs? A good many years of such meanness among his +neighbors makes even a rich man sour and mean, I guess. And that's +what it made me--and though that isn't a justification of my act, it +gave me as much right to call you skinflints as for you to call me: +all except one of you, Hepsey Burke." + +The meeting quivered with tense excitement. What did it all mean? If a +chicken had sneezed the whole gathering would have been dissolved in +hysterics, it was so keyed up with a sense of the impending disclosure +of a deep mystery. As for Hepsey, she sat motionless, though Jonathan +believed that he caught sight of a tear glistening in its descent. + +"Hepsey Burke had a right to call me a skinflint, because she knew +what none of you knew; but because it was private knowledge she +wouldn't make use of it against me--not unless she couldn't have done +what was right any other way. And now I'm going to tell you what she +knew: + +"The rectory was my wife's property, and she intended it as a gift to +the parish, for the rectory of the church. I was preparing the deeds +of transfer, when she died--suddenly, as some of you remember," his +voice made heroic efforts to keep clear and steady, "owing to her +death before the transfer, that house passed to our daughter; and what +I intended to do was to buy it of her and present it to the parish. I +delayed, at first for good reasons. And I suppose as I got more and +more lonesome and mixed less and less with people, I got sourer--and +then I delayed from meanness. It would have been easy enough for me to +buy it of my daughter, and she'd have been willing enough; but as I +saw more and more put upon me, and less and less human recognition--I +was 'a rich man,' and needed no personal sympathy or encouragement, it +seemed--I held back. And I got so mean, I couldn't make friends with +the rector, even." + +He paused, and from the half smile on his face, and the hint of +brightness that passed over his expression, the audience caught +relief. + +"I guess a good shaking up is good for a man's liver: it cures a sour +stomach--and as there are those that say the way to a man's heart is +through his stomach, perhaps it cures a sour heart. I got my shaking +up all right, as you know; and perhaps that's been working a cure on +me. Or perhaps it was the quiet ministrations of that little Mrs. +Betty of yours"--applause--"or the infusion of some of the rector's +blood in my veins (he let himself be bled to keep me alive, after I'd +lost what little blood I had, as you probably have never +heard)"--shouts of applause--"or possibly what cured me was a little +knitting-visit that Hepsey Burke paid me the other day, and during +which she dropped some home-truths: I can't say. + +"Before I decided what I would do about the rectory, I wanted to see +what you would do, under Mrs. Burke's guidance, this evening. You've +shouldered your share, as far as the rector's salary is concerned. +Well--I'll add what I consider my fair share to that, fifty dollars. +The arrears due on the mortgage interest is one hundred and twenty +dollars. I shall hold you to your side of that bargain, to date. If +you pay the rector the two hundred dollars due him on his salary, you +will need to subscribe about another forty to make up the interest: +that done, and paid to me, I will do my part, and present the rectory +to the parish, in memory of my dear wife, as she desired." + +He sat down. + +Hepsey rose and called out in a clear voice: + +"He's right; Mr. Bascom's dead right; it's up to us to be business +first, and clear ourselves of the debt on a business bargain; then we +can accept the gift without too much worryin'." And she sent a very +friendly smile over to Bascom. + +Again there was some cheering, in the midst of which Jonathan Jackson +jumped to his feet beside Hepsey; and facing the room, with his arm +through hers, he shouted: + +"Hepsey Burke and me will make up the difference!" + +Another cheer went up, and Hepsey's face flamed scarlet amid the +craning of necks and chaffing laughter--half puzzled, half +understanding. + +Sylvester Bascom rose to his feet, and there was silence. With assumed +seriousness he addressed Hepsey, still standing: + +"Mrs. Burke, so that it may be quite in order, do you endorse Mr. +Jackson's authority to speak for you in this matter?" + +Every eye was turned upon them; but Hepsey could find not a word, so +flabergasted was she by this sudden move of Jonathan's. Jonathan +himself colored furiously, but stuck to his guns, and Hepsey's arm: + +"Well, to tell the truth," he replied in a jaunty voice, "Hepsey Burke +and me's goin' to be married right now, so I guess we'll combine our +resources, like." + +This announcement gave the coup de grace to any further attempt at +orderliness, and the room became a seething chorus of congratulatory +greetings aimed at Hepsey and Jonathan, in the midst of which +Sylvester Bascom slipped out unnoticed. + + + + +[Illustration] + +CHAPTER XXIV + +OMNIUM GATHERUM + + +When at last the room emptied, and she was free to do so, Hepsey, +accompanied by the possessive Jonathan, found her way over to the +Maxwells. Before she started to tell them the results of the meeting +she cast a glance of whimsical affection at her palpitating fiance. + +"I'd best let him get it off his chest--then we'll get down to +business," she laughed. + +[Illustration: "HEPSEY BURKE, FOR ALL YOUR MOLASSES AND THE LITTLE BIT OF +VINEGAR YOU SAY YOU KEEP BY YOU, 'THERE ARE NO FLIES ON +YOU' AS NICKEY WOULD PUT IT"] + +So Jonathan, amid much handshaking and congratulation told his +victorious story--until, when he seemed to Hepsey to become too +triumphant, she broke in with: "Now that's enough for you, Mr. +Proudmouth. Let me just say a word or two, will you? The meetin' +wasn't called for you and me, and I want to tell about more important +happenin's." + +When they had heard of all that had been accomplished, Mrs. Betty got +up and put her arms round Hepsey's neck and gave her such a hug, and a +kiss on each cheek, that brought the tears to Mrs. Burke's eyes. And +Donald, moist-eyed in spite of himself, took her hand in both of his, +and expressed his feelings and relieved the tension at the same time +by saying: + +"Hepsey Burke, for all your molasses and the little bit of vinegar you +say you keep by you, 'there are no flies on _you_' as Nickey would put +it." + +At which sally Jonathan slapped his knee, and ejaculated: + +"No! there 'aint, by gum! There 'aint no flies on Hepsey, if I _do_ +say it myself." + +At which proprietory speech Hepsey wagged her head warningly, saying, +as they left--"There's no downin' him, these days; I'm sure I don't +know what's come over the man." + +On their way home Jonathan was urgent for fixing the day. + +"You said you'd marry me right there and then, if the meetin' came +your way, now you know you did, Hepsey," he argued. "So if we say +to-morrow----" + +But though Hepsey would never go back on a promise, she protested +against too summary an interpretation of it, and insisted on due time +to prepare herself for her wedding. So a day was set some two months +hence. + +Meanwhile, Sylvester Bascom's truer and pristine nature blossomed +forth in the sunnier atmosphere around him, and after he had delivered +himself of his feelings to the Maxwells, in a visit which he paid them +next day at their nomadic quarters, he begged leave to put the rectory +in full repair before he handed it over to the parish, and the +Maxwells returned to it. + +And he was better than his word; for, with Hepsey and Virginia +accompanying her, he insisted on Mrs. Betty taking a trip to the city +a few days later for the purpose of selecting furnishings of various +kinds dear to the hearts of housekeepers--Hepsey absorbing a share of +the time in selecting her "trousseau." + +Meanwhile, in due course the rectory was made a new place, inside and +out, and a few weeks after their return the transformed house, +repainted inside and out, papered and curtained and charmingly fitted +with new furniture, was again occupied by the Maxwells. + +That the interest of the parish should for a while be concentrated on +the doings at the rectory, and diverted from her own important +preparations, was a blessing to Hepsey--for she continually declared +to Mrs. Betty that, little as she knew Jonathan in his new manner, she +knew herself less! + +It was decided that the wedding should be in the church, and a +reception held after the ceremony, for the bride and bridegroom, at +the rectory--and that, in this way, the whole parish would celebrate, +in honor of the auspicious occasion, and of other happy results of +Hepsey's parish meeting. + +The day before the wedding, while Mrs. Betty and Virginia were busily +occupied at Thunder Cliff and the rectory, dividing their attentions +between the last touches to Hepsey's wardrobe, and preparing +confections for the wedding guests, Donald Maxwell was closeted with +Mr. Bascom at Willow Bluff for a considerable time. It was known that +the Senior Warden was to support his colleague, Jonathan, at the +morrow's event, and it was presumed that the rector was prompting him +in his duties for the occasion. + +The ceremony next day at the church was a center of fervent and +cordial good-will and thanksgiving, as Jonathan, supported by +Sylvester Bascom, took to wife Hepsey, given away by Mrs. Betty, with +Virginia as a kind of maid of honor, hovering near. It was well for +Donald Maxwell that his memory served him faithfully in conducting the +service, for his eyes were in misty conflict with his bright smile. +Nickey from the front pew, watched his mother with awestruck eyes, and +with son-like amazement at her self-possessed carriage under the blaze +of so much public attention. + +There followed a procession from the church, and soon the rectory, +house and garden, were alive with chattering groups, of all sorts and +conditions, for the invitations had been general and public, +irrespective of class or sect, at Hepsey's special request. There was +a constant line of friends, known and unknown, filing past bride and +bridegroom, with congratulatory greetings and cordial good wishes. +There were speeches from delegations of various local bodies, and from +local notables of various degrees; and there were wedding presents, +out-vying each other, as it seemed, in kindly personal significance +rather than in costliness. Among them all, and arranged by Mrs. Betty +at the very center, the Vestry's gift to the bride stood easily first: +a plated ice-water pitcher! + +It was left to Maxwell to make the farewell speech, as the company +crowded round the automobile, lent by the Bascoms, in which Hepsey and +Jonathan sat in smiling happiness, ready to drive to the station, on +their way for a week's honeymoon. + +"Friends!" he said, in a voice that reached to the skirts of the +assembled throng, "before we give a valedictory 'three times three' to +the happy couple, I have to tell you of a plan that has been made to +commemorate this day permanently--and so that Mrs. Jackson may not +forget the place she holds in our hearts, and always will hold, as +Hepsey Burke. + +"It is Mr. Bascom's idea, and I know it will give lasting pleasure to +Mrs. Burke--I mean Mrs. Jackson," he corrected, laughing, "as well as +to all Durford, young and old. The beautiful piece of woodland, half a +mile beyond Willow Bluff, is to-day presented by Mr. Bascom to the +town, and we shall shortly repair there to watch the boys erect the +tent now on the church plot, and which Mr. Jackson has kindly +presented to the Boy Scouts." + +"Gee," yelled Nickey, in astounded delight, and leading a cheer that +interrupted the speaker for some moments. + +Maxwell continued: "Mr. Bascom's generous gift to the town will be kept +in order by the Boy Scouts, as their permanent camping-ground--and I +daresay Nickey Burke will not be averse to occupying the tent with his +corps, during the week or so that Mrs. Jackson is to be away. The place +is to be called in her honor--'Hepsey Burke Park.' And now--Three +cheers for the bride and groom." + +The cheers were given with whole-hearted fervor, as the man at the +wheel tooted, and the auto started on its way with the smiling pair, +followed by the people's delighted shouts of approbation at the happy +plan for perpetuating among them the cheerful name of Hepsey Burke. + + + + +TO THE READER + +_Being just a word or two about ourselves_ + +We are getting rather proud of the imprint which appears on the title +pages and backs of all the books we publish. It is comparatively a new +imprint, but the few years of our existence have been years of +accomplishment. + +Above all else we have aimed at publishing only a few books, but those +few to be books that could be taken into the home,--our home or your +home. In a word, the kind of books you want your daughters and your sons +to read. Red-blooded and true as life is true, but clean. + +If you have enjoyed this story and would like to become acquainted with +other books which we publish fill out the following blank and in addition +to our catalogue you will receive free of any charge a copy of: + +A Little Journey to The Home of Everywoman + +_By ELBERT HUBBARD_ + +A pamphlet reprinted from the Philistine + +Name ____________ + +Address ____________ + + + + +_A Message of Hope, to the World, From the Loneliness of the Adirondack +Wilds_ + +"ONCE TO EVERY MAN" + +_By LARRY EVANS_ + +Exiled from an active New York business career to the loneliness of the +Adirondack wilds, among the mountains and the pines, Larry Evans has +really learned to know the stars and glory of the universe and the whole +sublime scheme of things--learned, indeed, to know God. + +Left absolutely alone, day after day, night after night, month after +month, out in the open, in an invalid's chair, he wrote "Once to Every +Man," a story of the everlasting hills, the smiling green fields and the +running brooks, that throbs with the never ending wonder of woman. + +_Four Illustrations and Jacket in Colors by Anton Otto Fisher. Price +$1.35 net._ + +FREE + +"MY FRIEND, O. HENRY," by Seth Moyle, with every copy of "ONCE TO +EVERY MAN;" An intimate, heart to heart biography of the great genius' +life by the man who helped to discover him. See last page of "Once to +Every Man" for this offer. + +THE H. K. FLY COMPANY, 263 Fifth Ave., New York + + + + +_Breathe Deep of the Pungent Purple Sage!_ + +THE LONG CHANCE + +_By PETER B. KYNE_ + +Have you ever learned the desert's little ways, chummed up with the mesa, +or fought it out with death at the tag end of all creation? Here is a +story fresh from the heart of the desert with all of the tang of the West +to it that Remington put into his paintings. + +Surely you have read Mr. Kyne's Western stories in the Saturday Evening +Post, Red Book, or Metropolitan Magazine and been thrilled to your finger +tips, while the tears came to your eyes as you read of God's real +Christians, men who sometimes curse and profane, and flirt with the flesh +pots of life; but whose hearts are pure gold. + +"Surely there is only one quality in humankind that really +matters--softening, suffering and despair and turning away wrath, and as +Donna knelt by the grave of the man who had possessed that quality to +such an extent that he had considered his life cheap as a means of +expressing it, she prayed that her infant son might be endowed with the +virtues and brains of his father and the wanderer who slept beneath the +stone: + +"_Dear God, help me raise a Man and teach him to be kind_." + +Four illustrations and jacket in color by Frank Tenney Johnson. Price +$1.35 net. + +THE H. K. FLY COMPANY, 263 Fifth Ave., New York + + + + +EVERY MAN + +_should read_ + +WALTER BROWN'S + +MODERN MORALITY PLAY + +"EVERYWOMAN" + +HER PILGRIMAGE IN QUEST OF LOVE + +No American play of recent years has been so universally endorsed by +Universities, dramatic clubs and critics as this play "Everywoman." + +Like "Experience" it is allegorical and it was the first successful +attempt to revive the ancient morality play of which "Everyman" is the +best known example. + +If you have enjoyed reading "Experience," you will not be disappointed +in "Everywoman." + +Write for a free copy of "A Little Journey to the Home of 'Everywoman'" +by Elbert Hubbard. + +_Bound Uniformly with "Experience"_ 12mo. cloth, illustrated, net +$1.00 + +THE H. K. FLY COMPANY, 263 Fifth Ave., New York + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HEPSEY BURKE*** + + +******* This file should be named 28517.txt or 28517.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/8/5/1/28517 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://www.gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/pglaf. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://www.gutenberg.org/about/contact + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. +To donate, please visit: +https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + |