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diff --git a/26847-h/26847-h.htm b/26847-h/26847-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2aae141 --- /dev/null +++ b/26847-h/26847-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,10156 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Pessimist; in Theory and Practice, by Robert Timsol + </title> + <style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */ +<!-- +body { margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; background-color:#FFFFFF; } + + +p { margin-top: .75em; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; margin-bottom: .75em; } + +h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 +{ + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; +} + +hr +{ + width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; +} + +a[name] { position: static; } + a:link {color:#0000ff; text-decoration:none; } + a:visited {color:#0000ff; text-decoration:none; } + a:hover { color:#ff0000; } + +table { width:60%; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} +.tocpg {text-align: right; vertical-align: bottom;} +.f1 { font-size:smaller; } +.pagenum +{ /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + /* visibility: hidden; */ + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; + font-style: normal; +} /* page numbers */ + + +.blockquot{margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 10%;} + +ins.correction +{ + text-decoration: none; + border-bottom-style: dashed; + border-bottom-color: gray; + border-bottom-width: 1px; +} + +.center {text-align: center;} +.smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} +.caption {font-weight: bold;} + +/* Footnotes */ +.footnotes {border: dashed 1px;} +.footnote {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} +.footnote .label {position: absolute; right: 84%; text-align: right;} +.fnanchor +{ + vertical-align: super; font-size: .8em; text-decoration: none; font-weight:normal; font-style:normal; +} + +// --> +/* XML end ]]>*/ + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Pessimist, by Robert Timsol + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Pessimist + In Theory and Practice + +Author: Robert Timsol + +Release Date: October 9, 2008 [EBook #26847] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A PESSIMIST *** + + + + +Produced by Colin Bell, Brett Fishburne and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + +<h1>A PESSIMIST;</h1> +<h4>IN</h4> +<h3>THEORY AND PRACTICE</h3> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h5>BY</h5> + +<h3>ROBERT TIMSOL.</h3> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h3>NEW YORK:</h3> +<h3>JOHN B. ALDEN, PUBLISHER.</h3> +<h3>1888.</h3> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h5>Copyright, 1888,<br /> +BY<br /> +THE PROVIDENT BOOK COMPANY.</h5> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + +<h3>CONTENTS.</h3> + +<table summary="Contents"> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Wisdom_in_the_Woods">I.</a></td><td><a href="#Wisdom_in_the_Woods">Wisdom in the Woods.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_7">7</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Worse_Yet">II.</a></td><td><a href="#Worse_Yet">Worse Yet.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_17">17</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Complications">III.</a></td><td><a href="#Complications">Complications.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_24">24</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#A_Wilful_Princess">IV.</a></td><td><a href="#A_Wilful_Princess">A Wilful Princess.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_28">28</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Consultation">V.</a></td><td><a href="#Consultation">Consultation.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_37">37</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Preparation">VI.</a></td><td><a href="#Preparation">Preparation.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_44">44</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Initiation">VII.</a></td><td><a href="#Initiation">Initiation.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_47">47</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Introduction">VIII.</a></td><td><a href="#Introduction">Introduction.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_52">52</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#At_Newport">IX.</a></td><td><a href="#At_Newport">At Newport.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_55">55</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#On_the_Cliffs">X.</a></td><td><a href="#On_the_Cliffs">On the Cliffs.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_58">58</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Explanations">XI.</a></td><td><a href="#Explanations">Explanations.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_63">63</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Awakening">XII.</a></td><td><a href="#Awakening">Awakening.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_71">71</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Domestic_Criticisms">XIII.</a></td><td><a href="#Domestic_Criticisms">Domestic Criticisms.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_75">75</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Over_two_Cigars">XIV.</a></td><td><a href="#Over_two_Cigars">Over two Cigars.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_79">79</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#The_Catastrophe">XV.</a></td><td><a href="#The_Catastrophe">The Catastrophe.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_83">83</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Feminine_Counsels">XVI.</a></td><td><a href="#Feminine_Counsels">Feminine Councils.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_87">87</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Consolation">XVII.</a></td><td><a href="#Consolation">Consolation.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_91">91</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Against_Earnestness">XVIII.</a></td><td><a href="#Against_Earnestness">Against Earnestness.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_99">99</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Conspiracy">XIX.</a></td><td><a href="#Conspiracy">Conspiracy.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_102">102</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Apology_for_Lying">XX.</a></td><td><a href="#Apology_for_Lying">Apology for Lying.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_108">108</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Jane_to_the_Rescue">XXI.</a></td><td><a href="#Jane_to_the_Rescue">Jane to the Rescue.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_118">118</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#An_Ordeal">XXII.</a></td><td><a href="#An_Ordeal">An Ordeal.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_125">125</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Plan_of_Campaign">XXIII.</a></td><td><a href="#Plan_of_Campaign">Plan of Campaign.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_132">132</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#To_Wayback_again">XXIV.</a></td><td><a href="#To_Wayback_again">To Wayback again.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_139">139</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#A_Wild_Brook">XXV.</a></td><td><a href="#A_Wild_Brook">A Wild Brook.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_145">145</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#An_Intractable_Patient">XXVI.</a></td><td><a href="#An_Intractable_Patient">An Intractable Patient.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_149">149</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Scenery_Improved">XXVII.</a></td><td><a href="#Scenery_Improved">Scenery Improved.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_156">156</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Diplomacy">XXVIII.</a></td><td><a href="#Diplomacy">Diplomacy.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_159">159</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Submission">XXIX.</a></td><td><a href="#Submission">Submission.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_168">168</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Wasted_Advice">XXX.</a></td><td><a href="#Wasted_Advice">Wasted Advice.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_175">175</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Results_Reported">XXXI.</a></td><td><a href="#Results_Reported">Results Reported.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_178">178</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Confession">XXXII.</a></td><td><a href="#Confession">Confession.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_185">185</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#A_Family_Conclave">XXXIII.</a></td><td><a href="#A_Family_Conclave">A Family Conclave.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_192">192</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='right'><a href="#To_Persons_About_to_Marry">XXXIV.</a></td><td><a href="#To_Persons_About_to_Marry">To Persons About to Marry.</a></td> +<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_197">197</a></td></tr> +</table> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span></p> + +<h1>A PESSIMIST.</h1> + +<h3><a name="Wisdom_in_the_Woods" id="Wisdom_in_the_Woods"></a>I.</h3> + +<h4>WISDOM IN THE WOODS.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">I had</span> seen and heard little of Hartman +since our college days. There he was counted +a youth of eminent promise: after that I +knew that he had traveled, written something +or other, and practised law—or professed it, and +not too eagerly: then he had disappeared. +Last May I stumbled on him in a secluded +region where I had gone to fish and rest, +after a year of too close attention to business. +We came face to face in the woods, stared +at each other, and then our hands met +in the old grip. He took me home with +him, to a comfortable enough bachelor establishment, +and we made a night—or more than +an evening—of it. He did not seem curious, +but I was.</p> + +<p>"What have you been doing with yourself!" +I began; "withdrawing from the +world?"</p> + +<p>"To some extent," he said. "You can't do +that entirely, you know. The world is in you +as well as around you, unluckily. It is too +much with us, as the poet observed. Do you +remember the time you had in class over that +sonnet?"</p> + +<p>"Pass that," I said. "I've given up +poetry." ("I should have thought that impossible," +he put in, in his nasty nagging fashion; +but I took no notice.) "Where have you +been all the time?"</p> + +<p>"Here, mostly. It's not much of a place, +but that is its merit."</p> + +<p>He was getting too deep now, as he often +did of old; so I <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'said.' with a period">said,</ins> "But it's so far away."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span> +"That's its other merit. You always had +a direct and ingenuous mind, Bob. Here +you've hit both bull's-eyes in two shots."</p> + +<p>"None of your chaff," said I. "Who do +you practice your wits on, up here?"</p> + +<p>"My dogs. And there are some hens in +the neighborhood, and a few small farmers. +Or if my bosom cries too loudly to be eased of +its perilous stuff, I can chaff myself, which +is more profitable."</p> + +<p>"You were always too clever for me. What +else do you do?"</p> + +<p>"As the Baroness used to say in <i>The Danicheffs</i>, +in our days of vanity, 'Do you think +that is much of a compliment?' I read, and +fish, and climb, and ride several hobbies, and +meditate on Man, on Nature, and on Human +Fate."</p> + +<p>"What's the good of that?" I was growing +impatient of all this nonsense.</p> + +<p>"Well, not much, perhaps," said he. "For +you, very little indeed. But intrinsically it +is about as profitable as more popular avocations."</p> + +<p>"Now look here, Hartman," I said. "You're +a better man any day than I—or you were. +But here you are, hidden in the backwoods +with owls (one of them was making a horrid +noise outside), and nothing to show. Now +I've got a wife—"</p> + +<p>"And seven children," he interposed.</p> + +<p>"No, only three. But I have a good business, +and a house on the avenue, and a decent +social position, and I'm making money. And +I don't like to see you throw yourself away +like this."</p> + +<p>"Old man," said Hartman, "we are just of +an age, and you would pass for five years the +elder. Your hair is getting gray, and thin on +top. You look fagged. And you owned to +me that you came here to pick up."</p> + +<p>He had me there a little. "Yes, I've been +working hard. But I'm in the swim. I do +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span> +as others do. I help to make the wheels go +round." I thought I had him there; but you +never can count on Hartman, except for an +answer of some kind.</p> + +<p>"Wouldn't they go round without your +help? And why should they go around, +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads anyway?" with a quotation mark">anyway?</ins> It might be a variety to have +them stop. What's the good of it?"</p> + +<p>I stared at him; but his eye looked more +rational than his talk sounded. "The good +of it is that I am in things generally, while +you are out."</p> + +<p>"Exactly so. I am out, while you are in. +As to things generally, I prefer to be with the +outs. It is a matter of taste, no doubt."</p> + +<p>"Well, you are beyond me. But I brought +myself in merely as an example—not that I +set up to be much of that—or an illustration, +say. I want to know about you." It may have +been foolish, but somehow I felt the old affection +coming back as we talked. "What does +it all mean, Harty?"</p> + +<p>He looked at me. "Do you really want to +know, Bob?"</p> + +<p>"Of course I do. Do you suppose I've forgotten +the larks we used to have, and the +scrapes you got me out of, and how you coached +me through that exam, in Calculus? It's +long ago, Jim; but I took it rather hard, the +way you dropped me."</p> + +<p>He began to look as he used to: he wasn't a +selfish fellow in those days. "I never meant +to be hard on you, Bob, nor supposed you'd +take it so: and I doubt if you did, though you +think so at this moment. It was part of a +system; and systems are poor things, though +we can't do without them. I'll tell you how +it was."</p> + +<p>"Wait till I fill up.—Now go ahead."</p> + +<p>"You don't smoke as you used to, Bob. +Does the Madam object?"</p> + +<p>"She doesn't like tobacco about the house, +of course. And I'm not sure it's good for me."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span> +"Ah. Sorry to be leading you astray. +There is no one to interfere with my little +vices. Well, Bob, I got tired of it. Not that +that alone would matter: one could stand +being bored in a good cause. But I couldn't +see that it was a good cause."</p> + +<p>"Would you mind <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads explaining? with no quotation mark">explaining?"</ins> said I. +"What cause?"</p> + +<p>"Helping to make the wheels go round. +Being in the swim. Doing as others do. Trying +to make a little money and a little name, +and following the fashions of a carnal-minded +generation. I could see no point to it, Bob; +the game never seemed worth the candle."</p> + +<p>"And so you came out in the woods, like +what's his name—that Concord fellow. Do +you find this any better?"</p> + +<p>"Negatively. I am not so much a part of +the things I despise. The pomps and vanities +are conspicuous chiefly by their absence. It +is a simpler life, comparatively laudable for +there being less of it."</p> + +<p>"And don't you get bored, out here? A +week or so of it is well enough in a way; but +take it the year round, I should think you'd +find it worse than civilization."</p> + +<p>"I get bored, of course: that is incidental +to life, and chronic with one who has looked +beneath the surface and sifted values. But +it's not so oppressive as in town. There are +no shams here, to speak of. Having no business +and no society, we don't pretend to be +very different from what we are."</p> + +<p>"O, if you come to that, the women still +improve on nature, and the street has its little +tricks and methods; but you could keep out of +them. You were in the law."</p> + +<p>"It's all the same, Bob. The law now is +worked much more as a business than as a +science. Look at Jones, and Brown, and +Jenkins: they are getting on, I hear. I don't +want to get on in that way."</p> + +<p>"But you might have taken the scientific +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span> +side of it. With your head piece, and your +high and mighty notions, there was a field for +you."</p> + +<p>"So is theology a field, or physic, or Greek +roots, or chiropody—for him, who believes in +them. I was not able to see that one line of +thought has a right to crowd out all the rest, +or to sink my whole soul in a profession. +That's what they want of you now—to make +a little clearing, and put up palings all round +it, and see things outside only through the +chinks of your blessed fence. Be a narrow +specialist: know one thing, and care for nothing +else. I suppose you can do that with oil."</p> + +<p>I thought there was some uncalled-for bitterness +in this; but the poor fellow can't be +contented, with his lonesome and aimless life. +"We're not talking about me, Jim. You're +the topic. Stick to your text, and preach +away: my soul is not so immersed in oil that +I can't listen. But I don't blame you for +going back on the law; a beast of a business, +I always thought it. Why didn't you go for +a Professorship?"</p> + +<p>"My poor friend, you were at college four +years, and graduated—without honors, it is +true. Don't you remember how little we +cared for the Profs. and their eminent attainments? +We took it for granted that it was all +right, and they understood what they were at; +but it was a grind, to them and to us. If a +man was an enthusiast for his branch, we +rather laughed at him; or if his name was well +up, we were willing to be proud of him—at a +distance—as an honor to Alma Mater; but we +kicked all the same, if he tried to put extra +work on us. It was all fashion, routine, tradition. +The student mind doesn't begin to +look into things for itself till about the senior +year, and then it's full of what lies ahead, in +the great world outside—poor innocents! With +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'these'">those</ins> of us who had anything in us, it took +most of the time to knock the nonsense out.—And +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span> +then if a man wants a chair, he must +take it in a western concern, where he'll be +expected to lead in prayer-meeting, and to +have no views of geology that conflict with the +Catechism."</p> + +<p>"Well then, why not go on with literature? +That was in your line: you might have made +a good thing of it."</p> + +<p>"Yes, by 'unremitting application,' much +the same as at law, and taking it seriously as +a profession, I might in time possibly have +made five hundred a year off the magazines, +and won an humble place among our seven +hundred rising authors. What's the good of +that, when one is not a transcendent genius, +destined for posterity? The crowd seems +to be thickest just there: too many books, too +many writers, and by far too many anxious +aspirants. Why should I swell the number? +The community was not especially pining to +hear what I might have to say; and I did not +pine so much as some to be heard."</p> + +<p>"I fear you lacked ambition, Harty. You +would have made a pretty good preacher; but +I suppose you weren't sanctified enough."</p> + +<p>"Thanks: scarcely. I prefer to retain some +vestiges of self-respect. That will do for the +youths on the beneficiary list, who are taken +in and done for from infancy, to whom it is an +object to get a free education and into a gentlemanly +profession. That's the kind they +mostly make parsons of now, I hear. My +boy, to do anything really <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'on'">in</ins> that line, a man +ought to have notions different from mine—rather. +Why don't you advise me to set up a +kindergarten? That would suit as well as +chronicling ecclesiastical small beer. Cudgel +your brains, and start something more plausible."</p> + +<p>This did not surprise me at all; but my +suggestion-box was getting low. Then I made +a rally. "How about the philanthropic +dodge? Robinson is on the Associated Charities +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span> +in town. I saw in the paper that he made +a speech the other night."</p> + +<p>"If he does nothing better than speech-making, +he might as well drop it. There +might be something in benevolent efforts, if +one had just the temperament and talents for +them. But as it is, I fear most of it is humbug; +mutual admiration, seeing your name in +the paper, and all that. And how they get +imposed on! How they pauperize and +debauch those they try to raise! It's a law +of nature, Bob, that every tub must stand on +its own bottom: you can't reform a man from +without. Natural selection will have its way: +the shiftless and the lazy must go to the wall. +If you could kill them off, now, that might do +some good. The class that needs help is not +like us—not that we are anything to brag of: +they've not had our chance. It's very well +to say, give 'em a chance; but that's no use +unless they take it, which they won't. 'Who +would be free, themselves must strike the +blow.' If they wouldn't, you are bound to +respect their right of choice. Your drunken +ruffian will keep on breaking the furniture, till +another like him breaks his skull. His wife, +the washerwoman with six small children, will +continue getting more and making things +worse. This part of it at least ought to be +regulated by law: but that would be a restriction +of personal liberty, which is the idol of +this age, and not without reason. We're +between two millstones, and I see no way +out."</p> + +<p>"How would you like politics? The gentleman +is supposed to have an opening there +now."</p> + +<p>"A doubtful and difficult one. If it had +come in my time I might have tried it. But +it would be <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'up hill'">uphill</ins> work, a sort of Sisyphus +affair: you may get the stone to the top, but +the chances are against it. And which party +is one to join, when he sees nothing in either +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span> +but selfish greed and stale traditions? Viewed +as a missionary field, Bob, it's just like the +ministry: you are weighed down with a lot of +dead conventions which you must pretend to +believe have life and juice in them yet. +Before you can do anything you must be a +partisan, and that requires a mediæval state of +mind. Mine, unluckily if you like, is modern. +It wouldn't go, Bob. Try again, if you have +more on your list."</p> + +<p>"Well, there's pure Science: you wouldn't +care for the applied, I know. But you used +to like beetles and things. Truth for Truth's +sake is a fine motto, now?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, if they lived by it. There was Bumpus, +old Chlorum's favorite student—in the +laboratory, you remember. The old man +died, and Bumpus stole all his discoveries, +and published them as his own; made quite a +pretty reputation, and is one of our leading +chemists. You know how the books on Astronomy +are made? A man finds out a thing or +two for himself, cribs the rest from other +books, changes the wording, and brings it all +out with a blare of trumpets as original +research. Those methods are approved, or at +least tolerated, in the best scientific circles, +and other folks don't know the difference. +O, I belong to a few societies yet, and once +in an age go to their meetings, when I get +tired up here."</p> + +<p>"So the outside world still has charms, eh? +Have to go back to it now and then, to keep +alive, do you?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, when I need to be reconciled to solitude; +much as you go to hear Ingersoll when +your orthodoxy wants confirming, or Dr. +Deadcreed if your liberalism is to be stirred +up. Let us spice the <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'insiped'">insipid</ins> dish with some +small variety. The lesser evil needs the +greater for its foil."</p> + +<p>"Look here, Harty; this sounds like pure +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'perversness'">perverseness</ins>; opposition for its own sake, you +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span> +know. I believe your money has been the +ruin of you. It's not an original remark, but +if you'd had nothing you'd have done something; +gone into business like the rest of us, +and made your way."</p> + +<p>"Of course, if I had been obliged to; but I +should have loved it none the better. Poor +Bayard Taylor said a man could serve God +and mammon both, but only by hating the +mammon which he served from sheer necessity. +Say I got my living by a certain craft, +would that make the craft noble? 'Great is +Diana of the Ephesians,' because we sell her +images! Why should I desire to supply the +confiding public with shoes, or sugar, or sealing-wax? +Plenty of others can do that better, +and find it more amusing, than I should."</p> + +<p>"If it's amusement you're after, most men +find it in Society. You're not too old for that +yet."</p> + +<p>"Blind guide, I have been there. So long +ago, you say, that I've forgotten what it's like? +Not quite. Last winter I had to attend an +execution: couldn't get out of it, you know. +My cousin married a Washington belle, and +I had to be there a week, and take it all in. +Ah well, this is a threadbare theme; but I +could understand how men fifteen hundred +years ago fled from Alexandrian ball-rooms to +Nitrian deserts. The emptiness of it—the eternal +simper, the godless and harrowing routine! +If a man has brains or a soul about him, what +can he do with them in such a crowd? Better +leave them at home with his pocket-book, or +he might lose them—less suddenly, but more +certainly, I fancy. No, the clubs are not +much better; I don't care for horse-talk or +the price of shares. See human nature? not in +its best clothes—and you may read that remark +either way you like. Why man, you can get +all this in <i>Punch</i> and the novels, with far less +fatigue, and lay them down when you have had +enough. An hour on Broadway sickens me +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span> +for the wild-flowers, the brooks, the free breeze +or the mountain side."</p> + +<p>He was getting violent now, and I thought +I had better calm him down. "Oho! the +rhyme and reason of a rural life, is it? +Soothing effect of Nature on a world-worn +bosom, and all that? So you do believe in +something, after all?"</p> + +<p>"I told you it was but a choice of evils, and +this is the less. Nature has neither heart nor +conscience, and she sets us a bad example. +She has no continuity, no reliableness, no self-control. +I can see none of the fabled sublimity +in a storm; only the pettishness of a +spoiled child, or of an angry man bent on +breaking things. The sunset is better to look +at, but it has no more moral meaning than a +peep-show. Yet this is a return to primitive +conditions, in a way. I can throw off here the +peddler's pack of artificialities that Vanity Fair +imposes, and carry only the inevitable burden +of manhood. The air is less poisonous to +body and mind than in the cities. The groves +were God's first temples, and may be the last."</p> + +<p>"See here, Hartman. Suppose people in +general were to take up with these cheerful +notions of yours, and go away from each other +and out in the backwoods—what then?"</p> + +<p>"It might be the best thing they could do. +But don't be alarmed, Bob: I am not a Nihilist +agent. Preserve your faith in the Oil Exchange +and the general order. I speak only +for myself, and I'm not proselyting to any +great extent. We'll have a week's fishing, +and then I'll send you back to your wife in +good shape. Or if you find yourself getting +demoralized, you can skip earlier, either home +or to a place further up that I'll tell you of, +where the few inhabitants are as harmless as +your youngest baby."</p> + +<p>But I was not to be bluffed off in this way. +"Jim," I said, "there is something behind all +this. Was it that girl you met at Newport +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span> +and afterwards in Naples? You told me +once—"</p> + +<p>"Never mind the girl," he said. "You are +a married man, and I an old bachelor. Leave +girls to those who have use for them. If we +are to get any trout to-morrow, it's time we +turned in. And if you won't stay, I'll go +with you to the tavern and knock up old +Hodge: he's been asleep these four hours." I +thought he had talked enough for one night, +so I said no more, but got back to bed.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="Worse_Yet" id="Worse_Yet"></a>II.</h3> + +<h4>WORSE YET.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">Hartman</span> had asked me to stay with him, +but there is no use of overloading friendship, +and I like to be my own master as well as he +does. I might get tired of him, or he of me; +and it's not well to be chained to your best +friend for a solid week. Not that I am afraid +of Hartman; he is not a lunatic, only a monomaniac; +but I can cheer him up better when I +have a good line of retreat open. He took +me next morning to some superior pools, +where the trout were fat and fierce; but I +had not my usual skill. The truth is, Jim +was on my mind; and after missing several +big fish and taking a good deal of his chaff, +I begged off—said I had letters to write—and +so got to the tavern in time for dinner, which +they have at the pagan hour of half-past +eleven. Then I set to work thinking. I am +not quite so dull as I may seem, but Hartman +always had the ascendancy at college, +and last night I fell into the old way of playing +chorus to his high tragedy. This will not do, +and I must assert myself. He was much the +better student of course, but I have knocked +about and seen more of the world than he has, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span> +shut up in these woods like a toad in a tree. +He is too good a sort to go to seed with his +confounded whimseys; so I determined to +take a different tone with him. And I wrote +to my wife about it: Mabel is a competent +woman, and sometimes has very good ideas +where mine fail—though of course I seldom +let her see that. That evening I took him in +hand.</p> + +<p>"Jim," I said, "I've been thinking—about +you."</p> + +<p>"Ah," said he. "Large results may be +expected from such unusual exertion. Impart +them by all means."</p> + +<p>"James Hartman, you are lazy, and selfish, +and unprincipled."</p> + +<p>"Yes?" said he, in an inquiring tone. +"That is your thesis. Prove it."</p> + +<p>I went on. "A man should be doing something: +you are doing nothing. A man should +have a stake in the community. What have +you got? Three dogs and an old cow. A +man should be in connection and sympathy +with the great tides of life. Here you are +with nobody but yokels to talk to, and the +pulse of the region about two to the minute."</p> + +<p>"Twin brother of my soul, companion of +the palmy days of youth, methinks—as they +say in the wild and wondrous West—you hit +me where I live. But none of these things +move me. I am lost in admiration of your +oratory: really, Bob, I didn't think it was in +you. But you said all this, in simpler language, +last night."</p> + +<p>I saw I had overshot the mark: when he +takes that tone, you are nowhere. "Jim," I +said, "let's be serious. Begin where we left +off, then. Granted that you don't care for +making money, and the ends most of us are +after. By character and fortune you are +above the usual selfish motives. Still you are +a man, a member of the community: you have +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span> +duties to your fellows. Let the nobler +motives come in. Do something to make the +world happier, wiser, better. You have the +power, if you had the will. Are not private +talents a public trust? You used to berate +the hogs of Epicurus' sty. It seems to me +you've fallen back on mere self-indulgence. +Your life here is a huge egoism. Cut loose +from these withering notions: there is a better +side to things than the one you see. Come +back to the world, and be a man again."</p> + +<p>His eye was very bright now—not that it +was ever dull—but I could not quite make +out what it meant; perhaps mere <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - original reads: 'curiosity,' with a comma">curiosity.</ins> +"Robert," he said, "I should believe that +somebody had been coaching you, but there's +no one in range who could do it except myself. +It's not like you to have brought books +along; and you've not had time to hear from +home. What put you up to this?"</p> + +<p>"Hartman," I said, "look me in the eye +and see whether I mean what I say. Go back +with me next week. Make your home at my +house till you can look round. I'll introduce +you to some men who are not shams—and +women, if you like. I know a few who have +souls and consciences, though they do go to +parties. I'll help you all I'm worth. You +can make a new start. Something went +wrong before. Better luck this time."</p> + +<p>"Bob," said he, "I'll take your word for it. +Deeply touched by such unexpected and undeserved +consideration—no, I won't chaff. +You're not half a bad lot. But, my dear boy, +you see the thing from your standpoint; mine +is different. I'll try to explain. But what +would you have me do?"</p> + +<p>"Whatever is best for you. Anything, so +you get an object in life."</p> + +<p>"Do you remember what De Senancour says, +in <i>Obermann</i>?"</p> + +<p>"Not I. Put it in your own English, please: +no French morals in mine."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span> +"What is there to be done that is worth +doing? It seems to me that everything is +overdone. I go into a town, big or little: ten +stores where one is needed. How do all these +poor creatures live? Do you see anything +noble in this petty struggle for existence? I +can't. I serve my kind best by getting out of +their way: that makes one less in the scramble."</p> + +<p>"I shouldn't expect you to sell tape or taffy, +Jim. You could deal in a higher line of goods, +and do it in your own way."</p> + +<p>"They don't want my goods, Bob, and I +can't do it in my own way. I have tried—not +much, but enough to see. There is no market +for my wares: and I'm not sure they are +worth marketing—or that any man's are. +Truth as I see it is the last article to be in +demand."</p> + +<p>"As you think you see it just now, very +likely. Your eye is jaundiced, and sees all +things yellow. Get well, and you can find a +market. Fit your mind to the facts, and +receive a true impression."</p> + +<p>"Exactly what I have done—so far as any +impression is true. That's the point I've been +waiting for you to come to. 'The Universe is +change, and Life is opinion.' As a man thinketh +in his heart, so is he; and as he thinks of +things outside himself, so are they to him. One +can do no more than use his eyes and brains, +and then rule himself by what he sees. I +have looked at matters more carefully and +dispassionately than some do, and seen a little +deeper into them: the prospect is not edifying, +Bob. I am prejudiced, you say? No, I have +cast aside prejudice. Most of you are misled +by the love of life: you want to give a favorable +account of your own belongings, and the +wish is father to the thought: so you blink +what is before you, and won't own the truth. +Perhaps you are wise in your way: you gain +such bliss as is in ignorance. Keep it if you +can: I have no desire to disturb it."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span> +"Jim, mayn't there be a little conceit of +superior wisdom here?"</p> + +<p>"Very possibly: as the lamented Bedott +observed, we are all poor creatures. 'I do not +speak as one that is exempt:' doubtless I +have my full share of infirmity."</p> + +<p>"Then why not take the benefit of it, with +the rest of us? There's a better as well as a +worse side. Take things as they are, and +make the best of them."</p> + +<p>"I do. The best is the least, and I get +away from things as much as possible. To +minimize life is to make the best of it."</p> + +<p>"Now you're at it again; begging the question, +and dodging the argument—you'd say, +summing it up, I suppose. I tell you, it's all +mental, and your mind's diseased. You think +you're injured by the scheme of things. Well, +change your opinion, and the injury is gone. +Didn't one of your old philosophers say something +like that?"</p> + +<p>"He didn't give it quite the application you +do, Bob. How can I change an opinion that is +based accurately on facts? I don't make the +facts: if I did, my opinion of myself would +be yet worse than it is. I have a brain—such +as it is—and a conscience: I can keep them +clean and awake, even on Crusoe's island. +Nothing better than that, my boy. 'What is +the good of man? Rectitude of will, and to +understand the appearances of things.'"</p> + +<p>"Well, Hartman, if you had two or three +kids, as I have, you'd see things differently. +They would give you an interest in life."</p> + +<p>"A tragically solemn one, no doubt. That +responsibility at least can't be forced on a +man. He can let his part of the curse die +out with him."</p> + +<p>"Jim, you <i>are</i> selfish. You were made to +gladden some woman's eye and fill her +heart. You were the strongest man of the +nine, and the best oar in the crew. We all +envied your looks, and there's more of them +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span> +now. You could outshine all the gilded +youth I know, and hold your own with the +best. I remember a girl that thought so, a +dozen years ago. Somewhere a woman is +waiting for you to come and claim her. Why +will you rob her and the world? This wilful +waste is selfish wickedness, that's what it is."</p> + +<p>"Think so if you must: it's a free country. +But you sugar the pill too much. Who misses +me—or what if some few did for a while? +They've forgotten me long ago. I tell you, I +served society by deserting it."</p> + +<p>"It's all very well now, Jim, while your +youth and strength last. But after you turn +forty, or fifty say, these woods and whims will +lose their charm; you'll get bored as you've +never been yet. The emptiness and dreariness +that you theorize about will become stern +realities: you'll pine, when it's too late, for +human affection and some hold on life. My +lad, you are storing up for yourself a sad old +age."</p> + +<p>I thought I had him at last. His surface +lightness was all gone: he looked intent and +solemn. "No doubt of it, Bob; not the least +in life. I am human, and the worst is yet to +come. But do you think me such a cad as to +go back on my principles in search of so poor +a shadow as happiness? Shall I, in base hope +of easing my own burden, throw it on somebody +else who but for me might go through +existence lightly? Should I call sentient +beings out of the blessed gulf of nothingness, +that they may pay a duty to my weakness by +and by, and curse me in their hearts? That +would be somewhat too high a price to pay +for broth when I am toothless, and the coddling +comforts of one who has lived too long."</p> + +<p>I am not thin-skinned, but his tone shocked +me. "Dear boy," I said, "they wouldn't +look at <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: 'it' does not appear in the original">it</ins> in that light. They would be your +wife and your children."</p> + +<p>"Yes," he said, still savagely, "they would +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span> +be my wife and children—supposing your +unsupposable case. Grant that my notions +are as false and monstrous as you think them: +a pleasant lot for my wife, wouldn't it, to be +in constant contact with them? And my +children would have my blood in them—the +taint of eccentricity, perhaps of madness: O, +I've seen it in your eye. Others would think +so too—most, no doubt. No, Bob; better let +it die out with me."</p> + +<p>"Jim, you make me tired. I'll go back to +the tavern." I was disappointed, and he +saw it.</p> + +<p>"Don't make yourself wretched about me, +old man. Let this thing go—you can't mend +it. Follow your own doctrine, and take what +you find. We have the May weather, good +legs, and our tackle, and the brooks are full of +trout. I kill nothing bigger than fish, but if +you want a change I'll show you where you +can have a chance for deer. And for the +evenings, there are other topics besides +ourselves—or rather myself. You can tell me +about your children; they are likely to be +healthier than mine would be. Good night, +my boy: sound sleep, and no dreams of me."</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span></p> + +<h3><a name="Complications" id="Complications"></a>III.</h3> + +<h4>COMPLICATIONS.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">After</span> that I found it best to do as Hartman +had said. The sport was good, but I +failed to enjoy it. I suppose I was a fool, for +each of us makes or mars his own life, and it +is no use moping over your neighbor's blunders; +but I could not get that poor devil out +of my mind. He talks as well on one subject +as on another: it was I, not he, had brought +him under discussion; but the evenings dragged. +Then came a letter from home: the +distance is considerable, and the mails slow. +"Dear Robert," my wife wrote, "I am glad to +know you are so comfortable. Keep your +flannels on, and change your clothing when +you have been in the wet. The children are +well: Herbert fell over the banisters yesterday, +but fortunately without injury. Bring your +friend Mr. H. back with you; he seems to be +presentable, and evidently all he needs is a +little cheering feminine society." [Hum: +feminine society puts a higher estimate on its +own powers than I do, then.] "Clarice has +returned. You know how enterprising she is, +not to say wilful, and how fond she is of you. +She has taken a fancy to try your retreat, and +learn to catch trout." [She has, eh? Well, +let's get on with this.] "Jane will go with her, +of course: they start on Thursday. Secure +rooms for them, and have a vehicle to meet +them."</p> + +<p>Here was a nice situation. To make Mabel +easy about me, I had enlarged too much on +the accommodations here; they are a long way +from what she supposes. I called the landlord. +"Hodge, here are two ladies coming +from the city. Where can you put them?"</p> + +<p>"Wall, I d'no, Square. Ain't much used +to city gals. Hope they don't bring no +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span> +sarrytogys. There ain't nothin but your +room, an mine, an old Poll's, and the gerrit. +Me and you might go out in the hayloft like, +or sleep on the pyazzer if the nights is warm."</p> + +<p>While he <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'has'">was</ins> maundering on, the whole +truth flashed upon me. Why can't I see +things at once, like Hartman? If I had his +sharpness, and he my slow common sense, +there would be two men fit for this world's +uses—which neither of us appears to be, as the +case stands. I had rashly said too much about +Jim and his attractions. Mabel is a born manager +and matchmaker—can't endure to see an +eligible man uncaught. She has put the girls +up to this game: 'cheering feminine society,' +indeed! My sister Jane is a sensible woman +enough, and not much younger than I; but +Clarice is a beauty with six years' experience, +and irresistible, some think. 'Enterprising'—well, +I should say so: cheeky, you might +call it. Women do take such stunning liberties +nowadays. My wife would reprove me +for slang; but weaker words fail to express +the fact, and my feelings about it. I might +stand these girls coming up here after me—Clarice +is a sort of eighth cousin of Mabel's +and looks on me as a brother. But Jim—no. +She must be pining for more worlds to +conquer, and it would just suit her book to +bring a romantic hermit to her feet. I should +like well enough to see her try it, when I was +not responsible, but not under present circumstances. +Great Cæsar! Jim will think I +have put up this job on him, and never forgive +me: nor would I, in his place. This field is +getting too thick with missionaries.—"Hodge, +it won't do. Harness your old nag, and drive +me to the station. I must telegraph. And +while I'm there, I may as well put for home. +We can catch the night train if you hurry."</p> + +<p>"Wall, Square, I don't cotton to suddint +changes: like to move when I git a good +ready. Ye put a man off his base, Darn—."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span> +I checked his incipient profanity. "My +friend, whether you like it or not is in this case +immaterial. I'll pay you for the time I meant +to stay, and all you like for the fifteen miles. +But be quick, now."</p> + +<p>While he was hunting strings for his +broken buckboard, I threw my traps together, +and scratched a line to Jim: called home +by sudden press of business, I said—and so it +was, in a way. It is a long ride, but I had +enough to think of. At the depot I wired, +"Hold the girls. I am coming back." As I +straightened up from this exercise, there was +the old sinner grinning malignantly over my +shoulder. "Hodge," I said, "not a word +about the ladies to Mr. Hartman, mind," and +I gave him an extra dollar. This was another +mistake, I suppose.</p> + +<p>"Never you mind, Square: tain't me as goes +back on my friends." What could the old +fool be thinking of? I would have given him +some more cautions, but the train came, and I +was off.</p> + +<p>You may imagine the reception at home. I +tried to take a high hand, but what can a +man do against three women? "I really think, +Robert," said Mabel, "that since the girls had +set their hearts on this excursion, you might +have indulged them." "The conceit of men!" +cried Clarice; "what had our coming to do +with Mr. Hartman? Is he lord of the manor, +that no one may trespass on his demesne?" +Jane too turned on me. "It was not very kind +of you, brother, to prefer a mere acquaintance +above your own sister, and suspect her motives +in order to save his peace, forsooth!" I knew +it was humbug; but I had to eat no end of +humble pie, all the same. You may believe +me or not—if you are a family man you will, +without difficulty—but I had to get those +women apart, and explain things to them one +at a time, before I could have peace in the +house. My own flesh and blood were soon +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span> +mollified; but Clarice has not forgiven me +yet. I have been on my knees to her, so to +speak—most men do it, and she expects it—but +it is of no use. "My dear Clarice," said +I, "you know I would do anything in the +world for you." "Yes," said she contemptuously, +"I've just had experience of it." +"But you don't know Hartman." "Then why +couldn't you let me know him?" "But it +wouldn't have done, under these circumstances. +He—I—." "Unhappy man," she +said, with her tragedy queen air, "is it possible +you imagined that you were a better +judge of the proprieties than I?" And that's +the way it goes. I am coming to believe Hartman +was right about the fate of philanthropic +efforts, at least.</p> + +<p>In the midst of all this came a note from +Jim himself. "Dear Bob, I enclose something +which Hodge says you left behind." +[O thrice-accursed idiot, did I leave Mabel's +letter lying around loose?] "Of course I have +not looked into it, but I fear he has." [You +may bet on that: the only chance was that he +could not read her fine Italian hand.] "He +says one of your children fell down stairs: I +trust the results were not serious. Sorry +you left in such haste, and hindered the ladies +from coming. Hodge's quarters are not palatial, +but you could bunk with me, as I at first +proposed; and since they were willing to +rough it, we would have managed somehow. +You could surely rely on my humble aid +toward making their sojourn in the wilderness +endurable. And <i>per contra</i>, a little cheering +feminine society might have assisted your +benevolent efforts toward my reclamation. +Was it not selfish to leave me thus unconsoled +and unconverted?"</p> + +<p>Well, the business is done now, with neatness +and dispatch. That beast Hodge has +told Jim all he knew or suspected, even to +that fatal phrase of my wife's: so there's an end +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span> +of his faith in me, and of any chance I might +have had to set him straight. That was a +fortnight ago, and I have not the face to answer +him. When I have any more doctrinaire +anchorites to convert, I shall not call a +family council. But alas, poor Hartman!</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="A_Wilful_Princess" id="A_Wilful_Princess"></a>IV.</h3> + +<h4>A WILFUL PRINCESS.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">I was</span> wrong about Hartman after all. He +has written me again, and this is what he says:</p> + +<p>"Do you want to confirm the heretical opinions +you argued against so manfully? You +had revived my faith in friendship, Bob: I +believed, and would like still to believe, that +one man can be true and kind to another. +And perhaps in general you had stirred and +shaken me up more than you knew. Socrates +outranks Pyrrho, and I am open to conviction. +Possibly I have been too sweeping; I don't +wish to dogmatize. It may be that I have +lived alone too long, shut up in a narrow space, +where light could enter only through my perversely +colored glasses. At any rate, your coming +was like opening a door and letting in a +wholesome breeze. Have I offended you? +I thought I was past asking favors from my +kind: but do let me hear from you."</p> + +<p>Of course I had to answer that, and worse, +to show it to the girls. Some men, now, would +keep it to themselves, and preserve their dignity; +but such is not my style. Let them +crow over me if they must.</p> + +<p>They did. "Well, Robert," said Mabel, "you +see now how absurdly mistaken you were. +Perhaps hereafter you will allow us to manage +our own affairs, and not complicate them with +your bungling masculine attempts at superior +wisdom." "I am glad to know, brother," said +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span> +Jane, "that your friend is a gentleman, incapable +of the base suspicions you would have +attributed to him. You did your best to prevent +our knowing him and carrying out your +ideas for his improvement: now we shall be +able to meet him cordially, and try to cheer +him a little. But probably he is not at all as +dark as you have painted him."</p> + +<p>Clarice would say nothing: she was in one +of her high and mighty moods. Her soul +is like a star, and sits up aloft; sometimes it +twinkles, but more generally it does not. I +often want to tell her that she is a creature too +bright and good to come to breakfast like +other folks; but somehow she has a way of +keeping people at a distance, and even of +repressing my pleasantries. We call her the +Princess: She has to be approached with +bated breath, and you must whisper your compliments +if you want to fire them off at her; +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'roar'">rear</ins> them as gently as a sucking child, in fact—and +then they are very seldom appreciated.</p> + +<p>"Clarice," I said, "I want to get Hartman +down here. Do treat him kindly, please; +won't you, <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: now? without quotation marks">now</ins>?"</p> + +<p>She looked at me with her Juno air. "Why +should I treat him kindly?"</p> + +<p>"O well, I won't say for my sake, because +you wouldn't care for that. But the poor +devil has lived in the woods so long."</p> + +<p>"He might have been well enough in his +woods; but why should you bring your poor +devils into civilized society, and expect me to +bear with their gaucheries, in addition to your +own?"</p> + +<p>There it is: she'll not forgive me in a year +for upsetting her fine plan of going up there +to beard the hermit in his den. She rarely +takes these fancies, I must own; and when +she does, she is not accustomed to be balked +of them. As it has turned out, I might as +well have let her have her way that time; +there was no harm in it. "Princess, haven't +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span> +you trampled on me enough? I was wrong, +and I'm very sorry: what more can a man +say? But Hartman had no hand in that."</p> + +<p>"Yes, that is clear now, no thanks to you. +Small merit in confessing after you are proved +guilty."</p> + +<p>"Well, you are pretty hard on a fellow. +But you needn't punish Hartman for my fault. +Thrash me all you like, but give him a +chance. I give you my word of honor, +Clarice, he is a finished gentleman, and very +different from me. You needn't fear awkwardness +in him. I knew you would like him."</p> + +<p>"How do <i>you</i> know what I would like? If +this Mr. Hartman wants to see a little of the +world, I have no desire to prevent his being +reclaimed from barbarism. Mabel and Jane +can do that, without my aid. To tell you the +truth, Robert, I don't care to meet the man, +after the disgusting complications which you +have introduced."</p> + +<p>I groaned—I couldn't help it. "Princess, +please God, I will never interfere with you +again. You shall be safe from any meddling +of mine. If you will kindly say what you +want, and say it slow, so that my limited +faculties can take it in, I will try to act accordingly. +But, if I may make so bold as to inquire, +what are you up to now?"</p> + +<p>"I shall go away. O, you need not feel so +badly about it, Bob: I am not tied to you and +Mabel. I was in the South all winter, you +know, and only returned while you were at your +fishing. I have a dozen invitations for the +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: punctuation on the original is unclear here">summer:</ins> I think I will join Constance."</p> + +<p>"Not if I can help it, you won't. This is +your natural home, Clarice, and you shall not +be driven from it. Nobody shall enter here +who is not acceptable to you: if anything +about the house don't suit you, name it and it +shall be corrected. You know Jane and +Mabel worship you; so do the children, if you +count them. I'll not have Hartman; or I can +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span> +entertain him at the club while you are all at +Newport."</p> + +<p>"That will be hospitality indeed. Would +you desert your friend for me?"</p> + +<p>"I would not desert you for all the friends +under the canopy. You have always ruled +the house when you deigned to be in it, and +you always will. I may be low in your books, +but it does not follow that you are not high in +mine. We can't do without you, Princess; +you must stay. Name your price, and I'll +pay it if it breaks me."</p> + +<p>"Very well then; I will remain, and meet +your Mr. Hartman. But one thing must be +distinctly understood: there must be no more +crossing of my will. I must be absolutely free and +unhampered, to plan and carry out what I see +fit. I may possibly be wrong at times; but you +will not know when, and it is not for you to +judge. No more interference or opposition, +remember. Do the terms suit you?"</p> + +<p>"O Lord, yes. I'll have a throne set up in +the drawing-room, and everybody shall approach +you Siamese fashion. And perhaps I +had better come to you to see if my tie is right +before dinner, and to practice what I shall say +when we have company."</p> + +<p>"It might improve you. But Mabel should +be competent to attend to those trifles. On +one point I must instruct you, though. I shall +doubtless do things that appear to you strange, +perverse, incomprehensible. In such cases it +will be best for you to walk by faith. No +meddling nor espionage, mind."</p> + +<p>"Clarice, you don't think me capable of +playing the spy on you?"</p> + +<p>"Not that exactly, but you sometimes indulge +in little tricks and stratagems: you like to +think that you hoodwink your wife—not that +it ever succeeds—in small unimportant +matters. Mabel and Jane may endure your +attempts, if they like; but don't try them on +me. They would never deceive me for a +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span> +moment, of course; but I can't waste time in +explaining that to you in detail. Besides, +your fancied success would unsettle your mind, +and so tend to disturb the domestic equilibrium."</p> + +<p>"Good heavens, Clarice! would I lie to +you?"</p> + +<p>"No: you dare not. But let me have no +subterfuges, no concealments, and no criticisms. +What I may do you cannot expect to +understand, nor is it necessary that you +should."</p> + +<p>"Well, thought has been hitherto supposed +to be free. When I see you at those little +games of which you are to enjoy a monopoly, +can't I have an opinion of them?"</p> + +<p>"O yes. The opinion will be of small value, +but your poor mind must be amused and occupied +somehow, I suppose. But you will be +carrying your opinions about the house, and +introducing an element of confusion. If you +could keep your own counsel, now—but that +is hopeless."</p> + +<p>"When you are operating on Hartman, for +instance, it might confuse the programme if +I were to say anything to him, eh?"</p> + +<p>"When I take Mr. Hartman up, it will be +very much better for his welfare and yours for +you to leave him in my hands."</p> + +<p>"O, he would rather be left there, no doubt, +though they grind him to powder. But what +the deuce am I to do? If I mayn't talk to <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'any, body'">anybody</ins> +else, can't I come to you with my +opinions—in odd moments, when your serene +highness has nothing better on hand?"</p> + +<p>"You may bring your valuable ideas to me, +and I will hear them, when I have leisure and +inclination. Yes, that will be best. But no concealments, +mind. When you think you know +anything that affects me, come to me with it +at once: otherwise you will be blurting it out +to somebody else. You promise?"</p> + +<p>"I swear, by all my hopes of your royal +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span> +favor. Anything else? I mean, has your +majesty any further commands? You'll have +to give me audience about three times a day, +you know, to keep me in mind of all these +rules, or I'll be safe to forget some of them."</p> + +<p>"You had better try to remember. I'll keep +an eye on you. And now do you want any +more, or have you learnt your lesson?"</p> + +<p>"I'll trust so. Henceforth I shall not call +my soul my own. The humblest of your +slaves craves permission to kiss the royal +hand. I say, Clarice, you won't be rough on +poor Hartman, will you? He's had hard +lines: you could easily break him to pieces, +what is left of him."</p> + +<p>"If there is so little left of him, there would +be small credit in breaking him to pieces, as +you elegantly express it. I shall probably +let him alone."</p> + +<p>"Scarcely. There is a good deal left of +him yet: he is as handsome a fellow, and as +fine a fellow, as you'd be apt to find. You're +tired of the regulation article, dancing man +and such, that you meet every night: I don't +wonder. This is something out of the common. +He needs a little looking after, too. +I wish now I had let you get at him in May, +as you proposed."</p> + +<p>"Robert, if you fling that odious and vulgar +figment of your debased imagination at +me again, I will go away and never come back. +You make me sick of the man's name. If you +ever breathe a hint of this disgusting slander +to him I will never forgive either of you, nor +speak to you."</p> + +<p>"God forbid, Princess dear. Don't you +know that your good name is as sacred to me +as Mabel's? Wasn't I to come to you with +notions that I couldn't put in words to anybody +else?"</p> + +<p>"Let them have some shadow of reason and +decency about them, then. Cannot a girl plan +a rural excursion, in company with your sister +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span> +and under your escort, without being accused +of designs on a strange man who chances to be +in the neighborhood? You try my patience +sorely, Robert. I wonder how Mabel can endure +you."</p> + +<p>"Well, he that is down can't fall any lower, +as it says in Pilgrim's Progress. Walk over +me some more, and then maybe you'll feel +better. What the d—There, I'm at it again. +Clarice, it might improve me if you would +mix a little kindness with your corrections; +handle me as if you loved me, like the old +fisherman with his worms, you know. It discourages +a fellow to get all kicks and no kisses."</p> + +<p>"Robert, look me in the eye and swear to +purge your mind of that vile thought, and +never to admit another that dishonors me."</p> + +<p>"O, I swear it. Bring me the Thirty-nine +Articles and the Westminster Catechism and +the Ten Tables, and I'll subscribe to all of 'em. +I'll think anything you tell me to: I signed +my soul away an hour ago." Here I saw that +I had gone too far, and she was really angry. +She's right; I must learn to check my confounded +tongue, if I am to keep on any terms +with the Princess. So I changed my tune, +just in time. "Don't go, Clarice. Honestly, I +beg your pardon; upon my soul, I do. Your +word is all the evidence I want of any fact +under heaven, of course. Princess dear, I've +been fond of you since you were a baby, and +it has grown with your growth—it has, really. +I'll prove it some day: you wait and see. +Forgive me this once, won't you? Don't +speak, if you are tired, but just give me your +hand, as they did in the Old Testament, in +token of forgiveness."</p> + +<p>She gave it. I am not good at descriptions, +but a man might go barefoot and fasting for a +week, and be paid by touching such a hand as +that. The queer thing is that I've known +Clarice for over twenty years—I told you she +had been in society for six—and practically +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span> +lived with her most of that time, and yet she +grows more surprising every day. It seems +to be generally supposed that familiarity +breeds contempt in such cases; that sisters, +and wives, and the like, get to be an old story +to the men who belong to them. Clarice is +not that kind: possibly I am not. To be sure, +she is neither my wife nor any blood relation; +but I don't see that that makes any difference. +They took out a patent for her up above, and +reserved all rights, with no power of duplication. +She might care for me a little more; +but then I don't suppose I've ever given her +any reason to. I am well enough in my way, +but I'm not such an original and striking +specimen of my 'sect' as she is of hers—not +by a long shot. She was exhausted now, and +that is how I got a chance to put in all this +wisdom just here. I might talk to Mabel for +a week, and it would produce no effect: but a +little thing upsets the Princess, her organization +is so delicate and sensitive. She is all +alive and on fire, or else languid and disdainful: +she can't take life easily, as people of +coarser grain do, like me. Her brain weighs +too much and works too hard; that uses her +up. I don't doubt she has a heart to match; +but it has never yet waked up to any great +extent, so far as I have seen or heard. No +matter; people will care for you all the same, +Beauty, whether you care for them or not. +Don't fancy that I am the only one—far from +it: but I have the luck to be her adopted +brother from infancy, and to have access to +her when others have not. She is not always +kind—very seldom, in fact, up to date: but it +is a privilege to look at her, and any treatment +from her is good enough for me. She +used to tyrannize over me in this way when +she was ten and I twenty, and so it will be, no +doubt, to the end of the chapter. Outside, I +sometimes take on a man-of-the-world air, +and fancy that I can think of you lightly, my +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span> +Princess—that is the correct society tone, and +it does not pay to display the finer feelings of +our nature to the general world: but when I +come under the spell of your presence, I know +that that is all humbug, and that you are Fair +Inez of the ballad, God bless you. You and +Hartman ought to get on together: it might +be a good thing for you both—him especially. +Mabel and Jane are women too, but they are +as devoted to you as I am, according to their +lights, and more jealous for you: jealousy +seems to be no part of me, luckily. Well, between +us we ought to be able to keep all harm +from you, if you will let us.</p> + +<p>Of course I didn't say all this out loud, but +only thought it. Then she opened her eyes +and yawned a little.</p> + +<p>"Have I been asleep, Bob? I must have +been: you tired me so. O yes, I know you +think a good deal of me: that is an old story. +Well, anything more?"</p> + +<p>"Only about poor Hartman, dear: you +didn't promise yet."</p> + +<p>"Well, when he comes I will look him over +and see what is to be done with him. I must +go upstairs and dress now." And with this +I had to be content.</p> + +<p>This conversation occurred of a Sunday +afternoon, when Mabel and Jane had gone to +Church, and taken Herbert with them: the +infants were out for an airing with their nurse. +Fortunately there was a long missionary sermon, +and a big collection, to which I must +send five dollars extra: the occasion was worth +that much to me. As the Princess left the +room, they came in. They looked at her, then +at me. "What have you been doing to Clarice, +Robert?"</p> + +<p>"Only preparing her to receive Hartman."</p> + +<p>"Preparing her! you great goose, what does +she want with your preparation? You'll only +prejudice her against him, and spoil any +chances he might have. Let her alone, do. +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span> +Haven't you made mischief enough between +them already?"</p> + +<p>That is all they know about it. Churchgoing +sometimes fails to bring the female mind +into a proper frame. But you see they are +ready to scratch out even my eyes at the +thought that I have been rubbing her down +the wrong way. No matter: I know what I +know, and they need not try to make me believe +that these things will go right without proper +management.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="Consultation" id="Consultation"></a>V.</h3> + +<h4>CONSULTATION.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">We</span> usually go to Newport for the summer. +As Mrs. Fishhawk says, the bathing is so fine, +and the cliffs are such a safe place for children +to play. Not that we care so much for the +society: the Princess has seen the vanity of +that and been bored with it, and the rest of +us are very domestic people. After much +persuasion through the mail, Hartman agreed +to join us there: I was to pick him up in New +York and take him down. A night or two +before this, Clarice took me out on the aforesaid +cliffs, which afford a fine walk in the +moonlight with the right kind of company, +but somewhat dangerous if you get spoony +and forget to look where you are going. The +Princess, it is needless to say, never commits +this folly: she always has her wits about her, +and wits of a high order they are, as not a +few men have found to their cost, myself +included,—many +and many a time. She opened +the ball.</p> + +<p>"Robert, do you remember our compact?"</p> + +<p>"I'm not likely to forget it. Your words +are my law, more sacred and peremptory than +the Ten Commandments, or those of the old +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span> +codger who wrote 'em in blood because his ink +had given out. As a servant looks to the +hand of his mistress, so am I to watch your +dark blue eye for direction and approval. +Deign to cast a sweet smile, however faint, in +this direction occasionally: it won't cost you +much, and will encourage me. If the devotion +of a lifetime—"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I know all that: at least you've said +it often enough. Now you will have an opportunity +to put it in practice. Drop generalities, +and come to business."</p> + +<p>"My heart's queen, I am all attention. +Speak, and thy slave obeys. Bid me leap +from yon beetling crag into the billows' angry +roar—"</p> + +<p>"Will you stop that, or shall I go into the +house? We are not rehearsing private theatricals +now."</p> + +<p>"Ah, indeed? I thought we might be. I +expect to see some next week."</p> + +<p>"You will see my place at table vacant if +you don't keep quiet, and listen to what I +have to say. I can join Constance yet. You +talk about your affection for me and anxiety +to serve me, and when I want something definite +of you, you go off into the Byronic, or the +Platonic, or what you would perhaps call the +humorous: it is not easy to discriminate them. +Once for all, will you do as I bid you, or not?"</p> + +<p>When the Princess wants to bring a man to +book, he has to come there, and stay there till +he sees a favorable opening for a break: there +was none such just now. So I called in the +white-winged coursers of my too exuberant +fancy, locked them up in the barn, begged the +lady's pardon as usual, and composed myself +into an attitude of respectful and devout attention, +as if I were in church. It was not long +after dinner: I wanted to have some more fun, +but that did not seem to be just the time and +place for it. My preceptress eyed me sternly, +and waxed anew the thread of her discourse.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span> +"I told you that my actions might appear +strange to your ignorance. I will tell you +now what my plan is, so far as is necessary for +your guidance: then perhaps you will have +sense enough not to go gaping about, but to +fall into line and do what is required of you. +I have determined to see very little of this Mr. +Hartman—"</p> + +<p>"O now, Clarice! After you promised! I +relied on you—"</p> + +<p>"Be still, stupid, and hear me out. I shall +see but little of him at first. You have made +such an ado about the man, I am disposed to +be interested in him, for your sake. There, +that will do; let my hand be."—I was merely +pressing it a little, I assure you, to testify my +gratitude for this unusual consideration: I +don't know when she ever owned to doing a +thing for my sake before. "For your sake +first, you great baby, and then, if he is worth +it, for his own. But at the start, as I told you, +I must look him over; and that I can do best +at a little distance."</p> + +<p>"And then you mean to take him in and do +for him? You can, of course; but, Princess +dear, be merciful—for my sake first, and then, +if he is worth it, for his own. Don't grind +him up too fine: leave pieces of him big +enough to be recognized and collected by his +weeping friends."</p> + +<p>"Robert, you really ought to try to restrain +your native coarseness. What can a man like +you know of the motives and intentions of a +woman like me? Poor child, if I were to put +them before you in the plainest terms the +facts and the dictionary allow, you could not +understand them."</p> + +<p>As a quartz-crusher the Princess could have +won fame and fortune. I hope she may not +pulverize Hartman as effectually as she does +me: he might not take it so kindly. To eliminate +the metaphor, she is a master at the +wholesome process of taking a man down: not +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span> +that I don't often deserve it, or that it is not +good for me. In fact, I've given her occasion, +from her youth up, to get her hand in; and +admiration of her skill binds up the wounds, +so to speak, with which my whole moral nature +is scarred at least sixteen deep. In case +you should not follow my imaginative style, +let me say in simpler language that I am used +to it; but another man might not understand +it. I consumed some more humble pie—these +desserts occur frequently in the symposia of +our conversations—and she resumed.</p> + +<p>"So I will leave him to Jane at first. She +will be very sisterly and gracious, and will +make the first stages of his return to the world +easy and pleasant. This may last two days, +or two weeks."</p> + +<p>"O, don't overdo it. He talked of staying +but a week or ten days."</p> + +<p>"Dear Robert, you are so innocent. He +will stay as long as I want him to."</p> + +<p>"What, whether you notice him or not?"</p> + +<p>"Of course. Are you six years old? Have +you never seen me in action before?"</p> + +<p>"Body of Venus and soul of Sappho, I give +it up. Of course you can do anything you like, +but I never realized that you could do it without +seeming to take a hand in the game. I +strew ashes on my head like what's-his-name, +and sit down in the dust at your feet. Forgive +a penitent devotee for forming such lame +and inadequate conceptions of your power. +But what part do you want me to dress for in +this improving moral drama?"</p> + +<p>"Your part is very simple. Of course I must +be occupied. I should hardly shine as a wall-flower."</p> + +<p>"You would shine anywhere. If you were +a violet by an old stone, you couldn't be half +or a quarter hidden from the eye. But the +supposition is impossible. If you were free, +no other girl in the room would have a +chance."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span> +"That is very passable, though not wholly +new. You are improving, Bob. If you would +give your mind to it, I could mould you into +tolerable manners yet.—Well, I might get +plenty of men from the houses around. But +they are tiresome—staler than you, my Robert, +though I see less of them—and I can't take +the same liberties with them I do with you. +You are to belong to me as long as I may want +you."</p> + +<p>"That is not new at all, Princess. It has +been so for years. Everybody about the house +knows that, even the servants—and all our +friends."</p> + +<p>"Yes, of course. But I am to make special +use of my property for the next few days. +You will have to be in constant attendance. +You ought to enjoy the prospect, and the +reality when it comes."</p> + +<p>"I do; I shall: bet your boots on that. O +confound it, I've got my lines mixed already."</p> + +<p>"Rather. If you startle the audience with +such a speech as that, what will Mr. Hartman +think? You must put on your prettiest behavior, +Bob. Make a desperate effort, and try +to keep it up—for my sake, now."</p> + +<p>"For your sake I can be Bayard and Crichton +and Brummell and all those dudes rolled +into one. I'll order some new clothes when I +go down. And you will have to be very +gracious to me, you know."</p> + +<p>"Am I not gracious enough now, pet? How +is this for a rehearsal?"</p> + +<p>"Beyond my wildest dreams, Empress. +When you treat me thus for an hour, I can +bear your ill usage for a year."</p> + +<p>"There will be no ill usage at present, if you +behave. Now don't forget, and spoil the play. +Understand, you are to pair off with me, as +Mr. Hartman with Jane. Mabel is mostly occupied +with the children; we will all look +after her, of course. And there will be mixing +and change of partners, but not much. +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span> +You must watch, and obey my slightest hint—the +turn of an eyelid, the flutter of a fan. +I'll teach you all that."</p> + +<p>"I know a lot of it already: when it comes +to watching you, I am a dabster. I'll behave +as if I was at school to Plato and Confucius, +and in training to succeed them both. Do you +know, Princess, if you were to treat a stranger +for half a day as you are treating me now, he +would want to die for you?"</p> + +<p>"He might die for want of me before +the day was over, if he grew lackadaisical over +his wants. All men are not so chivalrous as +you, my poor Robert. You may have to do +that sort of dying before long. You must be +ready to be dropped when the time comes to +change the figures. No growling or moping, +mind: you must submit sweetly, and take +your place in the background with Jane, +while the rest of the play goes on."</p> + +<p>"I know: I've been there before. I can find +consolation in seeing you carry the leading +part. One set of men passes away, and another +set comes on; but the Princess goes on +conquering, regardless of the moans of her +victims as they writhe on the bloody battlefield. +O, I'm used to being shoved aside, and +feeding on my woes in silent patience. The +flowret fades when day is done, and so does +every mother's son Who thinks his course is +just begun, And knows not that his race is run—How +does it go on, Clarice? I forget the +rest of it."</p> + +<p>"It is a pity you didn't forget the whole of it. +I would if I were you, and quickly, lest you +horrify some one else with it. You are too +big to pose as a flowret, Bob."</p> + +<p>"Polestar of my faith, see here. I'll have to +be around with Hartman, smoking and so on, +nights, after you and the rest have turned in, +and often in the daylight. You and Jane +can't attend to his case in person all the time, +you know, and I'm his host. What shall I say +about you?"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span> +"Anything you like. Praise me to the skies, +of course. That will be in keeping with your +part as my cavalier; and he will see how +things are between us—on your side, I mean. +Tell him about my few faults, if you can bring +yourself to mention them. Yes, you must; +they will set off my many virtues. Be perfectly +natural about it: you have known and +cherished me from infancy, and so forth. Not +a word, of course, about our compact, and +these rehearsals, and my coaching you—O +you great booby, were you capable of blurting +that out? If you do, you'll spoil all, and +I'll never forgive you. Remember now: +you profess to dread my anger, and you have +reason; you've felt it before. If you want me +ever to trust you again, keep to yourself what +is between us; regard it as sacred. O, I know +you profess to look at all that belongs to me +in that light; but show your faith by your +works. Swear it to me now."</p> + +<p>I swore. That is a ceremony which has to +be gone through rather frequently with the +Princess, and somehow I don't mind it. But +how the deuce is one to remember all these +rules and regulations? I'll have to get Clarice +to write them out for me, by chapter and +verse, with big headings; then I'll get the +thing printed, and carry it about with me, and +study it nights and mornings. But Mabel +might find it in my clothes: she is welcome to +my secrets, but this is not mine. I might +have it printed in cipher; but then I should +be sure to lose the key. O, confound it all, +I'll have to chance it: I'll be sure to slip up +somewhere, and then there'll be a row. Well, +why borrow trouble? Let's gather the flowers +while we may: only there are none just here, +and it is too dark to find them. Then a +thought suddenly struck me: why not head +off the difficulty by improving my position +beforehand? "Princess dearest, do you like +me better than you used to, or is this only +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span> +part of the play, the excitement of practicing +for a newcomer? Tell me, please—there's a +dear."</p> + +<p>We were near the house now, and she darted +away from me. "If you tells me no questions, +I asks you no lies," she sang gaily as she ran +in. O shades of Juliet and Cleopatra, what a +woman that is—or what an idiot I am: I can't +be sure which till I get an outside opinion. +I'd give odds that within a fortnight Hartman +will be far gone. It will be life or death for +him, poor old man. But he's nigh dead now, +inwardly speaking, and so has not much to +lose. Anyway, he'll see that a world with +Clarice in it is not as blank and chilly as he +thinks it now—not by several thousand degrees. +I fancy his thermometer will begin to +go up pretty soon. He needs shaking up and +turning inside out and upside down—a general +ventilating, in fact, and I rather think Miss +Elliston will administer it to him.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="Preparation" id="Preparation"></a>VI.</h3> + +<h4>PREPARATION.</h4> + +<p>I was mighty glad that Clarice felt this way +about Hartman's coming; she has not waked +up so, or come down from her Olympian +clouds of indifference, in a long time. But +still I thought it best to go around and make +some more preparations. When I have a +secret to carry, it oppresses my frank and open +nature more than you would think; and I find +that I can conceal it best by inquiring concerning +the matter of it of persons who know nothing +about it. Naturally I began with the +head of the house. That is myself, I suppose, +nominally; but every decent man allows his +wife to fill the position, and get what comfort +she can out of it.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span> +"Mabel," I said, "I hope that Hartman will +enjoy himself here."</p> + +<p>"You told us he was not given to enjoying +himself; on the contrary, quite the reverse. +No doubt he will take us as he finds us. He +will hardly want to go out to dinner every +day, and meet the Vanderdeck's and the foreign +princess."</p> + +<p>"But, Mabel, I trust you are all prepared to +meet him in the right spirit."</p> + +<p>"What absurd questions you ask, Robert. +You talk as if he were a bishop, come to convert +us: I thought we were to convert him. I +hope I do not need to be instructed how to receive +my husband's friends. And Jane is +ready to take an interest in him: she can be +very nice, you know."</p> + +<p>"And Clarice: will she do her part?"</p> + +<p>"Nobody knows what Clarice will do on +any occasion. She would be more apt to do +what you wish if you would not trouble her +about Mr. Hartman. We are not three little +maids from school, to be taught our manners. +Why can you not learn that matters would +move just as well, yes, and better, without +your continual interference, dear? Your +blunders only complicate them, and disturb +the harmony."</p> + +<p>Now that is a nice way for the wife of one's +bosom to talk, isn't it? How often, O how +often, would I remove the clouds of care from +her placid brow, and smooth her path through +life by graceful persiflage and appropriate +witticisms: but she does not seem to appreciate +them. I fear she must have had some +Scottish ancestors. Sometimes I think she +does not appreciate <i>me</i>. It is a cold world; +a cold, heartless, unfeeling, unresponsive +world, in which the sensitive spirit may fly +around promiscuously like Noah's dove, and +have to stay out in a low temperature. Wisely +and <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'benificently'">beneficently</ins> is it arranged that Virtue +should be her own reward, since she gets no +other. I will try Jane next.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span> +"My dear sister, you know I go to town to-night, +and expect to bring Hartman back. +You will receive him kindly, for my sake, +will you not?"</p> + +<p>Jane is a little prim at times, and I have +to arrange my sentences carefully, when I am +with her.</p> + +<p>"I will do that, of course: why so many +words about it? Have you not been preparing +me, and all of us, for this visit, for the last +month? We know what is right, Robert: <i>your</i> +behavior is the only doubtful part."</p> + +<p>"But Clarice, sister? She is always so +doubtful, as Mabel says; so capricious, so +haughty, so unapproachable. You have great +influence with her. Dear Jane, can you not +persuade her to treat my poor friend kindly?"</p> + +<p>"Now, brother, why will you be such an unconscionable +humbug? We all know that you +are in her confidence, when any one is. What +were you two talking about all last evening? +Hatching some plot, no doubt. But it was not +intended to be practiced on me—not on her +part; that is your unauthorized addition to +her text." And the maiden assumed the part +of Pallas, and gazed at me with severity, as if +she would read my inmost soul. But she can't +beat Clarice at that. See here, young lady, +you are too sharp; you are getting dangerously +near the truth. I came near saying this +out, but did not. Instead I took an injured +tone.</p> + +<p>"You are a pretty sister, Jane, to go about +suspecting me this way, and accusing me of +intrigue and hypocrisy, and all kinds of black-hearted +wickedness. What would I want to +deceive you for? You know we all have to +consider Clarice, and humor her: she is an +orphan, and we are her nearest friends. She +amuses herself with me sometimes, for want of +another man at hand, and then throws me +aside when the fit is over."</p> + +<p>"O yes, we all know that, of course. Well, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span> +brother, you can go to town with an easy +mind. Leave Mr. Hartman to Clarice and me; +when she is not in the humor to attend to him, +I will."</p> + +<p>Now how does Jane come to know so much? +Has the Princess been taking her into the +plan too, as well as me? That I don't believe. +Clarice would expect Jane to take her cue by +intuition, and not bother to coach her as she +has me: perhaps she can trust Jane farther. +That must be it: one woman can see into +another's mind where a man couldn't. I must +put a mark on that for future reference. They +do beat us at some minor points. Well, I +didn't exactly get the best of that encounter: +it seems to me I owe Jane one, which I must +try and remember to pay.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="Initiation" id="Initiation"></a>VII.</h3> + +<h4>INITIATION.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">Hartman</span> arrived on schedule time, and was +duly taken home with me. "Old man," I +said, "welcome back to the amenities of life; +to the tender charities of man and woman; to +the ties, too long neglected, which bind your +being to the world's glad heart. You are the +prodigal returning from sowing his wild oats +in the backwoods: the fatted calf shall be +killed for you, in moderation, as per contract, +and the home brewed ale drawn mild. We +are quiet people, and live mostly by ourselves: +that will suit your book. The giddy crowd, +in its frivolous pursuit of amusement and +fashion, surges by in the immediate vicinity, +and old Ocean, in his storm-tost fury, dashes +his restless waves upon our good back door, +or adjacent thereto. But we give small heed +to either one of them. The sea views and +feminine costumes are supposed to be of the +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span> +highest order, and there is polo at stated intervals, +if you care for such; but these vanities +have little to do with the calm current of our +daily life. You will shortly have in front of +you a christian family, united in bonds of +long-tried affection and confidence. The +earthly paradise, James, must be sought in the +peaceful bosom of one's Home. After tossing +on the angry billows of Water Street, how +sweet to return to this haven of rest! And +you too, world-worn and weary man of woes, +shall receive attention. The furrows of care +shall be smoothed out of your manly brow: +gentle hands will bind up your wounds—even +the one you got from that girl a dozen years +ago, if it isn't healed yet. The shadows of +gloomy and soul-debasing Theory will flit +away from your bewildered brain, and in this +healthful atmosphere your spirit will regain +its long-lost tone, and embrace once more the +ethereal images of Hope and Joy and Faith. +Probably you will yet find some one to love in +this wide world of sorrow; anyway, we hope +to send you forth clothed and in your right +mind."</p> + +<p>"I hope I'm properly clothed now, or will +be with what I've got in my trunk; and I +need to be in my right mind to take in all this +eloquence. I was mistaken about you, Bob; +you should have been a preacher. The only +drawback is, you don't stick to one key long +enough: these sudden changes in your woodnotes +wild might confuse a congregation."</p> + +<p>"The church lacks vivacity and sense of +humor, Jim: she's all for a dull monotone. +Old Fuller is dead: his mantle descended on +me, but they don't appreciate that style nowadays. +To return to our topic, and deal with +the duty that lies nearest. In an humble and +pottering way, we are a happy family, James. +We envy not the rich and great: seek elsewhere +their gilded saloons, and tinsel trappings +of pride; but you will find things pretty +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span> +comfortable. I regret to say we'll have to do +our smoking out of doors; but it is generally +warm enough for that. If we are noted for +anything, it is for modest contentment, unassuming +virtue, and cheerful candor—just as +you see them in me. Each face reflects the +genuine emotions and guileless innocence of +the heart connected therewith; more than +that, they reflect one another, as in a glass. +You can look at Mabel, and see all that is +passing in my capacious bosom. We share +each other's woes, each other's burdens bear, +and if we don't drop the sympathizing tear +frequently, it is because there is very seldom +any call for it. We have no secrets from one +another: limpid and pure flows the confidential +stream—but it flows no further than the +fence. You can say what you like to any of +us, and it will not go out of the house—unless +the servants overhear it; you'll have to look +out for that, of course."</p> + +<p>"See here, Bob; judging by you, I had no +idea I was coming among such apostolic manners, +or I'd have taken a course of À Kempis. +Are there any prayer-meetings near by, where +I can go to freshen up?"</p> + +<p>"Within a mile or two, no doubt. Jane can +tell you about them; she can lend you a prayer-book, +anyway. But I was not meaning to +discourage you: they will make allowances. +My wife is an exemplary woman; if you want +to get on with her, you'll have to take an +interest in Herbert's bruises when he falls +over the banisters. He is the only one of the +children who will trouble you much; the +others are small yet, happily. My sister is a +pattern of propriety, but of rather an inquiring +mind, and sympathetic if you take her the +right way: she can talk with you about philosophy +and science and your dried-up old +doxies. Not that she knows anything about +Schopenhauer, and Darwin, and Diogenes, of +course; but she's heard their names, and she'll +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span> +pretend to be posted—you know how women +are. And when you need a mental tonic—the +companionship of a robust intellect, the +stimulus of wide acquaintance with the great +world of men and things, a manly comprehension +of any difficulties that you may meet, or +sound and wise advice how to steer your way +through the pitfalls and intricacies of the +female character—in such cases, which will no +doubt often arise, you have only to come to +me. I know all about these matters, of which +you have had no experience. I'll be at home +as much as possible while you are there, and +I'll stand by you, Jim."</p> + +<p>"Thanks, awfully—as I believe they say +where we are going. Yes, you will be an invaluable +mentor, Bob. Well, I'll try not to +disgrace you. It is late: let us turn in."</p> + +<p>This important conversation took place on +the boat. You see, when I was with Hartman +in May, he took the lead; but in my own +house, or on the way to it, I like to be cock of +the walk. Besides, as I had prepared the +women for his coming, so now it was necessary +to prepare his mind to meet them. In my +picture of our domestic felicity, I may have +laid on some tints too heavily, as about our +mutual confidence. But he will soon see how +that is. You may notice that I said nothing +about the Princess. There was a deep design +in that omission. When the orb of day in all +his glory bursts from his liquid bed upon the +astonished gaze of some lonely wanderer on +the Andes, or the Alps,—or our own Rockies, +say,—the spectacle is all the more effective if +the wanderer was not expecting anything of +the kind; didn't suppose it was time yet, or, +still better, didn't know there was any sun. +That is the way Jim will feel when he sees +Clarice. If he has forgotten about her wanting +to go up there in the woods in <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: 'May.' with a period">May,</ins> O. K.; +that will meet her views, and he'll be reminded +of her existence soon enough.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span> +This is one of those delicate ideas which +might not occur to the male mind unassisted: +in fact, left to my native nothingness, I should +probably have enlarged on her charms most +of the evening. But she laid special stress on +this point, that I was to say as little as possible +about her beforehand, and fortunately I remembered +it. Hartman thinks he is going to +have a safe and easy time with me and two +highly respectable ladies of sedate minds and +settled habits. Sleep on, deluded James, +while I finish my cigar here on deck: dream +of the forest and the trout brooks, and your +neighbor Hodge and your old tomcat. By +to-morrow night your mental horizon will be +enlarged, and when you return to your castle +in the wilderness there will be some new sensations +tugging at your vitals. It will be a +change for you, old man, and you needed one. +Well, I've given you enough to think of for +now, and you'll get more before you are a +week older. I hope he will come through it +right: it is like taking one's friend to the surgeon +to undergo an operation, when he doesn't +know that anything ails him or is going to be +done. Poor old Jim, I wouldn't have put up +such a job on you if I didn't believe it was for +your good. I am not a pessimist like you: I +believe in God and the Princess.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span></p> + +<h3><a name="Introduction" id="Introduction"></a>VIII.</h3> + +<h4>INTRODUCTION.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> drive from the wharf is too long: I +often think that the older part of the town +ought to be submerged, or removed to one of +the adjacent islands. We met the family at +breakfast, and I said, "Ladies, you see before +you a wild man of the woods, brought hither +to be subdued and civilized by your gentle +ministrations. By the way, Mabel, there was +a corner in oil yesterday. I made fourteen +thousand, and Simpkins went under; so you +can have that new gown now." They paid +no attention whatever to these pleasantries. +Clarice was not there, or the sparkling fount +of humor would have flowed less freely.</p> + +<p>Hartman has very good manners when +he chooses, and in my house he would naturally +choose; so he got on well enough. The +children took to him at once, and he seemed +to take to them. After breakfast I led him +out for a walk, to show him the points of interest. +Several very creditable cottages have +been put up since he was here last: in fact, +this is quite a growing place, for the country. +As we went back he suddenly said, "Bob, who +is this Clarice that your sister mentioned at +the table? Fancy name, isn't it?"</p> + +<p>"O no," I said as indifferently as I could. +He ought not to go springing her on me in +that way: it makes a man nervous. "She's +an orphan; a sort of cousin of Mrs. T. Got no +brothers or sisters, and all that sort of thing; +so we look after her a good deal. Sometimes +she's with us, sometimes she's not. Was south +all winter: got back while I was up there with +you."</p> + +<p>Now what the deuce did I say that for? It'll +brush up his rusty mental machinery, and +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span> +help him to recall what she wants forgotten. +Just so; of course.</p> + +<p>"Yes, I remember. She thought of joining +you with Miss Jane. I wish you had let them +come."</p> + +<p>"Well, you see, you don't know what these +girls are used to; I do. There were no fit +quarters for them at Hodge's. I had gone +and written my wife a lot of rot, pretending +his place was much better than it is."</p> + +<p>"With your usual unassuming virtue and +cheerful candor; yes. We have no secrets +from one another: the limpid stream of confidence +flows unchecked and unpolluted. Just +so. But see here, you old hypocrite, if there +is another young woman in the family, you +ought to have told me about her last night, +when you were preparing my mind, you know, +and pretending to explain the whole domestic +situation.—Great heavens, who's that?"</p> + +<p>We had turned a corner, and come plump +on the house; and there on the piazza, two +rods away, sat a rare and radiant maiden, +playing cat's cradle with my eldest son and +heir. I can't tell you how she was dressed; +but she was a phantom of delight when thus +she broke upon our sight; a lovely apparition, +sent to be Jim Hartman's blandishment. At +least so it seemed, for he stood there and stared +like a noble savage. As when the lightning +descends on the giant oak in its primeval solitude—but +I must stop this; she is too near, +though she pretends not to see us yet. So I +whispered in low and warning <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: tones; with a semi-colon">tones</ins>:</p> + +<p>"Brace up, Jim. She's not the one you +met here twelve years ago, who jilted you at +Naples: this one wasn't out of her Fourth +Reader then. Don't get them mixed, or be +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'decieved'">deceived</ins> by a chance resemblance." I thought +it was better to lay his embarrassment on that +old affair, you see. But that was all nonsense: +he never saw anybody like Clarice before—how +should he?</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span> +"Confound you, Bob," he muttered between +his teeth, "so you've been practising your +openhearted innocence on me. Get on with +it now, and finish it up."</p> + +<p>He pulled himself together, and I went +through the introduction with due decorum; +then I got away as soon as I could. You see, +I was unmanned by the spectacle of so much +young emotion, and somewhat exhausted by +my own recent exertions. I found a cool +corner in the library; and presently Jane had +to come in. "What is the matter with you, +Robert? Why do you sit there grinning like +an idiot?" Perhaps a smile of benevolence +had overspread my striking countenance; and +that's the way she distorts it. I could not tell +her what pleased me, so I said I had been +reading a comic paper. "You write your own +comic papers, I suspect; and bad enough they +are. If you go on at this rate, you will end by +editing the <i>Texas Siftings</i>. Do try to be decent, +brother, while you have a guest in the house." +I suppose she thinks that is a crushing rebuke, +now. I said I would try, and told her she had +better join Clarice and Hartman, who would +probably be tired of each other by this time. +Here again I have played into the Princess' +hands. She doesn't want Jim to see too much +of her at first, but to get used to the blinding +glare by degrees, and take his physic in small +doses, until he can bear it in larger. At least +I hope so: if I've made a mistake and spoiled +the procession, I'll learn it soon enough. But +Jane wouldn't go unless it was right: that's +the good of being a woman. You don't catch +me interrupting them, or going near the Princess +when she has any of her procedures on +foot, unless I am called.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span></p> + +<h3><a name="At_Newport" id="At_Newport"></a>IX.</h3> + +<h4>AT NEWPORT.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">I could</span> not tell you all that occurred that +week; but it went exactly as Clarice intended +and had foretold. She was gracious and equable +and gentle, a model young lady of the +social-domestic type; but Hartman did not see +much of her. I on my part was kept +steadily occupied, what with boats, and +horses, and parasols, and fans, and wools, +and wide hats, and more things than you +could think of. It was, "Robert, come out on +the cliffs," or "Robert, get my garden gloves, +please; they are in the sitting-room, or somewhere +else;" or "Robert, take me to town; +I must telegraph to Constance;" or "Bob +dear, would you mind running over to Miss +Bliffson's, and telling her that I can't go to the +Society this afternoon; and on your way back, +stop at the milliner's and see if my hat is +done." I usually attended to these commissions +promptly; when you have women about, +your generous heart will rejoice to protect +and indulge their helplessness. They are the +clinging vine, you are the sturdy oak; and +then, as I said, Clarice is an orphan. Hartman +at first showed an inclination to relieve +me of the lighter part of these useful avocations, +such as taking her about over the rocks +and in the bay; but she very quietly, and without +the least discourtesy, made him understand +that no foreigners need apply for that +situation. Other men were coming after her +every day, but she avoided them or sent them +to the right about: she can do that in a way +to make you feel that you have received a +favor. She kept reminding me that it was my +business to wait on her: if these things were +paid for in cash, I should want high wages, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span> +for the duties are far from light. But I can +stand it: within the bosom of Robert T. glows +a spark of warm and pure philanthropy. +When I see my fellow-creatures in need, and +this good right arm refuses to extend its +friendly aid, may my hand cleave to the roof +of my mouth—O well, you know what I +mean. I used to retire to my meagre and +philosophic cot-bedstead with aching limbs +and an approving conscience: I never was +worked so hard before. Some of these +errands were perfectly needless, I knew. She +can't want to get me out of the way for an +hour or two, for I am never <i>in</i> the way; nor +simply to show what she can do, for that is an +old story, familiar to all concerned. Doubtless +she has some high moral end in view; +perhaps to teach Hartman what are the true +relations of man and woman, and how the +nobler animal can be trained to be a helpmeet +and boy-of-all-work to the weaker. Whether +this will suit his views I doubt; but she +knows what she is about. It is mine not to +question why, mine not to make reply, mine +simply to go on doing what my hand finds to +do—of which there is quite enough at present. +Meanwhile, everybody else is having a nice +easy time, while I am laboring like six dray-horses +for the general good. Hartman sits +about with Jane, and they seem to be getting +on finely. Mabel also appears to enjoy his +society. Sometimes she looks at me and at +Clarice, and then at Jim, in a way which +might indicate a notion that things are too +much mixed, and that the Princess ought to +be giving her attention to Hartman's case. I +think so too, but it is not for me to suggest it. +I feel like asking Mrs. T. what all these complications +mean, and why she does not +straighten them out: she is Clarice's relative +and hostess, and head of the house when I am +away. But it will straighten itself pretty soon +now, and a new tangle will begin for the predestined +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span> +victim. Wild man of the woods, +your hour will soon strike, and the grim executioner +in the black mask will prepare to take +your head off. You will see a hand not clearly +visible to the outside world—a very beautiful +hand it is too, as I ought to know—that will +beckon you to your doom: you will hear a +voice whose silvery music will drown all fears, +all scruples, all world-sick longings for your +woman-hating moods, all memories of your +lost Lenore of long ago, and tell you that +resistance and delay are vain. What the +details of the process may be, and whether joy +or woe will tip the scales for one who takes +things as seriously as you do, I cannot tell; +but it is coming, and it is coming presently. +You may not like it: you are +not used to it as I am; but you cannot +help yourself. Farewell to the old life, +the old delusions, the old fancied knowledge: +you will find yourself a small boy in primary +school, beginning the world anew. You think +you are locked up in steel, defended by your +indifference, your disgust, your unbelief in +Life. These glittering generalities will fall +into dust before the wand of a magician who +has some eminently particular business with +you. You have sounded the depths, and +found them shallow; you have tested values, +and they are less than nothing, and vanity; +you have emptied the pincushion, and only +bran is there. My skeptical friend, a sharp +needle is there yet, and it will prick your finger: +there are depths that you know nothing +about, and heights too, it may be: there are +thrills of life that will go through all your +veins, and show you that you are not as near +dead as you supposed. You were but a boy +when that girl gave you your quietus, as you +imagined; you are a man now, with more in +you than you fancy, and another girl may +bring you to life. Still in your ashes live +their ancient fires, and I'm mistaken if they +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span> +don't start a superior blaze before long. Well, +well, I hope it will make a man of you.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="On_the_Cliffs" id="On_the_Cliffs"></a>X.</h3> + +<h4>ON THE CLIFFS.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">I was</span> betrayed into the above apostrophe +by the violence of my sympathies; but the +lucid and graphic sentences which precede +this moralizing ably sum up the situation during +the first week of Hartman's visit. A good +deal of wisdom was in circulation: I said +some things myself which deserve to be +remembered, and the others occasionally dropt +a remark which showed how the ball was +moving. You will want the chief of these +outpourings in order of time, as landmarks in +this history.</p> + +<p>Clarice took me apart the first day and +began to cross-examine me: that is, she told +me to go outside and wait for her, and by +the time she came it was dusk. Why is it +that the garish day seems to freeze our finer +emotions, and reduce us to the monotonous level +of a dull cold practicality? It is under the +calm light of moon and stars that soul speaks +to soul, and we gain those subtler experiences, +those deeper views of our own nature and that +of our nearest and dearest, which so far transcend +the plodding sciences of the laboratory, +the useless learning of the pedant, and the +empty wisdom of the children of this world.</p> + +<p>"Come, Robert, wake up; don't sit mooning +there like a calf. Make your report."</p> + +<p>"Report?" said I, thus rudely startled from +a train of thought which might have borne +rich fruit for coming generations. "What +about?"</p> + +<p>"What about? You forget yourself. +Whose employ are you in?"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span> +"Well, on Water Street I am supposed to be +carrying on business for myself, and at home I +am the envied husband and father of a happy +and admiring family. Clarice, I was meditating +on subjects of much moment; and the +duties of hospitality claim my valuable time. +Did you wish to speak to me particularly?"</p> + +<p>"None of your nonsense, now. What did +you talk about last night on the boat?"</p> + +<p>"All sorts of things. My conversation is +always improving. I explained to Jim that +his reëntrance on society could not be made +under fairer auspices; that models of deportment +and of all the virtues would be about +him on every hand; that a pure atmosphere +of love and peace pervaded this modest mansion; +that joy was unconfined; that we could +lay our weary heads on each other's bosoms +in the repose of perfect trust, knowing that +not a thought entered any one of them which +the angels above might not look into with +satisfaction, and—"</p> + +<p>"You talk too much about bosoms, Robert: +it is not in good taste. What did you say +about me?"</p> + +<p>"Divil a word, bedad. Wasn't that right? +Didn't you tell me to keep dark, and not +mention you?"</p> + +<p>"Not unnecessarily. But didn't he ask?"</p> + +<p>"He'd forgotten all about you. Now, Princess, +don't be offended; there was next to nothing +to forget, you know. It's not as if he had +ever seen you, or really heard anything about +you. O, I'll talk you up to him whenever +you say so; to-night, if you like. But I thought +his forgetting was what you wanted. Didn't +I manage it well? Do own that now, please. +Let those cerulean orbs shed one ray of gentle +light upon the path of a weary wayfarer—yes, +that's better. Have I merited your +approval, Serene Highness?"</p> + +<p>"You've done very well—for you. But +was it necessary to tell so many lies, Bob?"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span> +"Now <i>that</i> is not in good taste, if I am a +judge—to put such ugly names upon the +graceful fancies with which I decorate the +plain, rude facts of everyday life. What are +we without Imagination, that glorious gift +which causes the desert to rejoice and blossom +like your little flower-bed in the back yard at +home? You know, Clarice, that my mind is +a deep clear well of Truth, and my lips merely +the bucket that draws it up. Where will you +get candor and veracity, those priceless pearls, +if not from me?"</p> + +<p>"Robert, you have fallen into this way of +practising your little tricks and deceptions on +everybody. O, I know you mean no harm; +it is merely for your own amusement. But +Mabel and Jane don't quite understand it."</p> + +<p>"Couldn't you explain it to them, Clarice? +Some people have no sense of humor. I can't +well go around saying, This is a joke; please +take it in the spirit in which it is offered."</p> + +<p>"O, it does no great harm: they are very +seldom deceived, and perhaps they will learn +to make allowances for you by and by. But +you may be tempted to try your games on me: +if I ever catch you at that—Remember, I am +not to be trifled with."</p> + +<p>"Perish the thought, and perish the caitiff +base who would harbor it. Princess, you are +sharper than I. Do you think I would be fool +enough to try any tricks on you, when I +should be found out at once?"</p> + +<p>"People generally find you out at once, but +that doesn't seem to stop you. How can I +tell whether I can trust you? I don't believe +you know yourself when you are serious—if +you ever are."</p> + +<p>"There is one subject on which I am serious—deeply +so, and always. Clarice, when I die, +if you will see that the autopsy is properly performed, +you will find your initials, as the poet +says, neatly engraven on my blighted heart."</p> + +<p>"Robert, sometimes I fear you have incipient +softening of the brain."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span> +"And if I have, is not that a reason why I +should be watched and guarded tenderly—why +loving arms should enfold my tottering frame, +and sweet smiles cheer my declining path, and +a strong firm brain like yours support my failing +intellect? Clarice, be gentle with me. I am +an orphan like yourself; soon, if you read the +future aright, to be laid beneath the cold clods +of the valley. When I am sleeping under the +daisies in the lonely churchyard, you will say +to yourself, He was my friend, my more than +brother: he loved me with a loyal and self-oblivious +devotion. And then, in those sad +hours of vain remembrance, every unkind +word that you have spoken, all the coldness +and cruelty which have pierced my patient +breast, will return to torture yours. Be +warned in time, Clarice, and make it easy for +me while you have the chance."</p> + +<p>"Robert, if you have a talent, it is for shirking +a subject you are afraid of. When you +go off like this, I know you are hiding something +from me. What is it this time?"</p> + +<p>I saw things were getting serious. She was +bound to get it out of me, and I might as well +give in. "Princess, I will confess, and throw +myself on your mercy. Strike, but hear me. +It won't pay you to be cross now, for you've +got to be with me till you conclude to take +Hartman up; we can't be quarrelling all the +time, you know. He asked me about you this +morning; Jane had spoken of you at breakfast. +I put him off with general remarks +about your being down south last winter, and +the like of that; then suddenly my brain +slipped—it <i>is</i> softening, you see—and I said +you had come back when I was in the woods +with him. That started him, and he recalled +your notion of going up there."</p> + +<p>"You are sure you didn't mention it yourself? +What did he say?"</p> + +<p>"Merely that he wished I had let you and +Jane come. He likes Jane. Upon my honor +now, he had no suspicion of anything."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span> +"You goose, how often have I told you +there was nothing to suspect? But men are +so coarse. Well, is that all? What else are +you trying to conceal?"</p> + +<p>"On my soul, Princess, that's all. I explained +it all right, and he was commencing +to berate me for not preparing him to meet +you as well as the others, when we suddenly +came on you, and you struck him deaf and +dumb and blind. He swore at me under his +breath just before I introduced him." Here +my feelings overcame me again.</p> + +<p>"Well, there's no harm done. But you +really must be more careful, Bob. Try and +make your poor mind work better while it +lasts; don't forget my instructions again, and +when you have made a blunder, tell me at +once. You are so light, so devoted to your +frivolous amusements; you seem to be drifting +into second childhood, thirty years too soon. +If you had an object, now, a serious purpose +in life: if you really cared for anything—even +for me!"</p> + +<p>She cuts me when she talks like that. +"Clarice, my regard for you is so undemonstrative +that you fail to appreciate its depth. +If I were to make a fuss over it, now, and use +a lot of endearing epithets and big professions, +perhaps you would believe me. Some time +you will know whether I care for you or not; +whether I've got anything in me, and am +capable of acting like a man. You wait and +see. But I wish I knew what you are going +to do with poor Jim."</p> + +<p>"Some time you will know: you wait and +see. You can go and comfort him now. Good +night, poor Bob."</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span></p> + +<h3><a name="Explanations" id="Explanations"></a>XI.</h3> + +<h4>EXPLANATIONS.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">I went</span> and comforted him. "Well, old +man," I said with a cheerful air, "how do you +get on?"</p> + +<p>"Robert," said he, "do you suppose I would +have come here if I had known what an +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'atvocious'">atrocious</ins> humbug you are? Do you imagine +for a moment that my relatives, if I had any, +would have subjected my innocence to such +insidious guardianship? Have you brought +me here to destroy my faith, and pollute my +morals, and poison my young life with the +spectacle of your turpitude?"</p> + +<p>"You're improving already, Jim. When I +saw you last you hadn't any faith, nor much +morals; your youth was away back in the +past, and your strength was dried up like railroad +doughnuts; you were ready to fall with +the first leaves of autumn. Well, since you +are here, you can stay till you see how you +like us. What do you think of Clarice?"</p> + +<p>"She has given me no basis on which to +think of her, beyond her looks; they rather +take one's breath away. You beast, what do +you mean by springing a face like that on me +without warning, after all your humbugging +talk last night, pretending to post me on every +one I was to meet? And I say, do you always +stand guard over her when anybody comes +near?"</p> + +<p>"Well, you see, you were so overcome by +the first sight of her this morning, that it +seemed no more than fair to let you recover +your breath, as you say, and get used to her +by degrees. But, James, this is unseemly +levity on your part. What have we to do +with girls? Let us leave them to the baser +spirits who have use for them. The world's +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span> +a bubble, and the life of man of no account at +all. We have tried it, and it is empty; hark, +it sounds. Vain pomp and glory of it all, we +hate ye. Ye tinsel <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'gands'">gauds</ins>, ye base embroideries, +ye female fripperies, have but our scorn. +What are flashing eyes, and tossing ringlets, +and rosy lips, and jewelled fingers, to minds +like ours? Let us go off to the Nitrian desert, +Jim, away from this eternal simper, this harrowing +routine."</p> + +<p>"You must have been reading up lately, +my boy. I left all that in the woods, Bob, +and came down here in good faith for a change +of air, prepared to learn anything you might +have to teach me. If you've got any more +traps and masked batteries, let them loose on +me; practice on me to your heart's content. +You've undertaken to convert me, and I'm +here to give you a chance: a fine old apostle +you are. But I don't quite understand Miss +Elliston's position here, Bob."</p> + +<p>"Her position here, or anywhere else, is +that she does about as she pleases, and makes +everybody else do it too, as you will see before +your hair is gray, my learned friend. As I +may have told you, we are her nearest relatives: +she is an orphan."</p> + +<p>"Parents been dead long?"</p> + +<p>"About seventeen years. What's that got +to do with it?"</p> + +<p>"O, not much; don't be so suspicious. Do +you think I'm trying to play some trick on +you, after your model? How should I, a helpless +stranger in a strange land, betrayed by +the friend in whom I trusted? I'm an orphan +myself too. So that Miss Elliston is in a +measure dependent on your kindness?"</p> + +<p>"O, don't fancy that she's a poor relation, +or anything of that sort. She's got more cash +than she wants, and loads of friends: had +twenty invitations for the summer. If you +don't behave to suit her, she's liable to go off +any day to Bar Harbor, or Saratoga, or the +Yosemite, or Kamtchatka."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span> +"Very good of her, to stay here with you, +then."</p> + +<p>"Well, Mabel is deeply attached to her; so +is Jane, and the children of course. Her +parents and mine were close friends in the country—where +I came from, you know. She and +I were brought up together; that is, she was—I +was mostly brought up before her appearance +on this mundane sphere. We used to play +in the haymow, and fall from the apple trees +together, and all that. O, Clarice is quite a +sister to me—a pretty good sister too, all things +considered."</p> + +<p>"And you are quite a brother to her, as I +see. Strange, that it never +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'occured'">occurred</ins> to mention +her, when you were describing the various +members of your family. Does her mind match +her personal attractions?"</p> + +<p>"She's got as good a head as you have, old +man, or any other male specimen I've struck. +I myself meet her on almost equal terms. O, +hang that; I don't either. This is no subject +for profane jesting. Talk about the inferiority +of women! If the moralists and stump-speakers +had one like her at home, they'd +change their tune. But there are no more +like her."</p> + +<p>"You speak warmly, Bob. To Clarice every +virtue under heaven. Beautiful, brilliant, accomplished, +amiable; you are a happy man to +have such an annex to your household—even +if she wasn't worth naming at the start."</p> + +<p>"Amiable—who said she was amiable? +Leave that to commonplace women and plain +everyday fellows like me. You can't expect +that of her sort, Jim. She can be very nice +when she pleases. I suppose she has a heart; +it has never waked up yet. When it does, it +will be a big one. We don't expect the +plebeian virtues of her."</p> + +<p>"She has a conscience, I hope? If not, it +might be better to go away, and stay away. +You ought not to keep dangerous compounds +about the house, Bob."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span> +"She won't explode—though others may. +A conscience? I think so. She couldn't do a +mean thing. She keeps a promise: she has +more sense of justice than most women. But +you can't apply ordinary rules to her. She is +of the blood royal: the Princess, we call her. +Can't you see, Jim? You are man enough to +take her measure, so far as any one can."</p> + +<p>"I see her outside; it is worth coming here +to see, if I were an artist or an æsthete. She +has deigned to show me no more as yet."</p> + +<p>"It is all of a piece: the rest matches that, +as you will see in time. There is but one +Clarice."</p> + +<p>"Bob, you are different from last night. I +believe you are telling the truth now."</p> + +<p>"She sobers you. When you have been +with her, when you think of her, it is as if you +were in church—only a good deal more so."</p> + +<p>"Very convenient and edifying, to have +such a private chapel in one's house. Bob, in +this mood I can trust you. Tell me one thing: +why did you never mention her to me?"</p> + +<p>"She doesn't wish me to talk of her to +strangers."</p> + +<p>"And now the prohibition is removed?"</p> + +<p>"You are not a stranger now. She knows +you, and you have seen her."</p> + +<p>"Well, you are loyal. Does she appreciate +such fidelity?"</p> + +<p>"We are very good friends. From childhood +we have been more together than most +brothers and sisters. More or less, I have +always been to her as I am now. She is used +to me. I do not ask too much of her. Don't +fancy that I am in her confidence, or any one: +she has a royal reserve. See here, Jim; I am +making you one of the family."</p> + +<p>"I understand. I must ask you one thing: +why did you bring me here, to expose me to +all this?"</p> + +<p>"You needed a change, Jim, as you half +owned just now; almost any change would be +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span> +for the better. I wanted you to see the world +again: there is in it nothing fairer or richer +than Clarice."</p> + +<p>"You go on as if she were a saint; and yet +you say she's not."</p> + +<p>"You can answer that yourself, Jim. She's +far from it: you and I are not saint-worshippers. +But she has it in her to be a saint, if her attention +and her latent force were turned that +way. She can be anything, or do anything. +She hasn't found her life yet. She bides her +time, and I wait with her. Her wings will +sprout some day. I like her well enough as +she is."</p> + +<p>"Evidently. Do you know, old man, that +you are talking very freely?"</p> + +<p>"Am I the first? or do you suppose I would +say all this to any chance comer? You +opened your soul to me in May, as far as you +knew it: you are welcome to see into mine +now."</p> + +<p>"There is a difference. I cared for nothing, +and believed in nothing; so my soul was worth +little. Yours is that of a prosperous and +happy man."</p> + +<p>"Externals are not the measure of the soul, +Jim, nor yet creeds. I know a gentleman when I +see him, and so do you. Your soul will get its +food yet, and assume its full stature; you've +been trying to starve it partly, that's all."</p> + +<p>"Do you talk this way to your Princess, +Bob?"</p> + +<p>"No. She is younger than we: why should +I bore her? You and I are on equal terms: +she and I are not."</p> + +<p>"This <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'humilty'">humility</ins> is very chivalric, but I don't +quite understand it in you, Bob."</p> + +<p>"You can't: you've been so long unused to +women, and you never knew one like her. If +you had, it would have been too early; what +does a boy of twenty know of himself, or of +the girls he thinks he is in love with, or of the +true relations that should exist between him +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span> +and them? Call it quixotic if you like; I +don't mind. Any gentleman, that is, any +spiritual man, has it in him to be a Quixote. +When you come to know Clarice, you will +understand."</p> + +<p>"Do you call yourself and me spiritual men, +Bob?"</p> + +<p>"Yes; why not? Spirituality does not depend +on the opinions one chances to hold, but +on the view he takes of his own part in Life, and +on the inherent nature of his soul. We are +not worshippers of mammon, or fashion, or any +of the idols of the tribe. I live in the world, +and you out of it; but that makes little difference. +You were in danger of becoming a +dogmatist, but you are too much of a man for +that. We both live to learn, and we can spend +ourselves on an adequate object when we +find it."</p> + +<p>"Bob, if you don't talk to her like this, she +doesn't know you as I do."</p> + +<p>"No human being knows another exactly as +a third does. We strike fire at different points—when +we do at all, which is seldom—and +show different sides of ourselves to such few as +can see at all. She does not care especially for +me: why should she? But she has great +penetration—more than you have, far more +than I. She sees my follies and faults as you +don't; she is a sort of a confessor. At +present she is a Sunday-school teacher, and +I am her class."</p> + +<p>"What <i>do</i> you talk of, all the time?"</p> + +<p>"It's not all the time, by any means. That +is as she pleases; just now it may be a good +deal. By and by it may be your turn: then +you'll know some things you don't now. +There is nothing I say to her which the world +might not overhear, if the world could understand +it; and nothing that I can repeat. Jim, +I am done: we are up very late."</p> + +<p>"Two things I must say yet, or ask, old +man. You would stand by this girl against +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span> +the world; and yet you have charged yourself +with me. It may be idle to formulate remote +and improbable contingencies, but it is in our +line. Would you take her part against me, +and be my enemy—you who are my only +friend?"</p> + +<p>"I would stand by her against the world, +assuredly. I would stand by you against all +the world but her, I think. You two might +quarrel, but neither of you would be wrong: +I know you both, and you don't know each +other. So I take the risk; it is none. When +that time comes, neither of you will find me +wanting."</p> + +<p>"I believe it. The other thing is this—forgive +me if I go too far. Do you know what +even intelligent and charitable people would +say of all this? That it was very queer, very +mixed, very dubious."</p> + +<p>"They are not our judges, nor we theirs. +What would they say of your theories, and +your way of life? To be sure, these concern +yourself alone. So is this inwardly my affair; +it binds, it holds no other. Must a man live +in the woods, to form his own ethical code? +Here too one may keep clean hands and a +pure heart, and do his own thinking. Life is +very queer, very mixed, very dubious; I take +it as it comes. O, I see truth here and there +in your notions of it, though it has done well +by me. If I find in it something unique and +precious, shall I thrust that aside, because the +statutes have not provided for such a case? +But one thing I can reject, so that for me it is +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: not; with a semi-colon">not</ins>: the baser element. Gross selfishness and +vulgar passions are no more in my scheme +than in yours: if their suggestions were to +rise, it would be easy to disown them. The +human beasts who let their lower nature rule, +the animals who care for themselves and call +it caring for another, are not of our society. +O yes, in common things one must get and +keep his own—the body must have its food; +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span> +but one's private temple is kept for worship, +and owns a different law. It is not always, +nor often, that one can build his shrine on +earth, and enter it every day: when a man +has that exceptional privilege, he must and +may keep his standards high enough to fit. +You understand?"</p> + +<p>"I do: I am learning. I knew all this in +theory, but supposed it ended there. And +your Princess, you think is of our society?"</p> + +<p>"No root of nobleness is lacking in her; +when the season comes, the plants will spring +and the garden bloom. But we cannot expect +to understand her fully; she is of finer clay +than we."</p> + +<p>"One thing more, and then I will let you +go. There is more of you than I thought, my +boy. In May I knew you had a heart; but +one who heard you in the woods would have +set you down just for a kindly, practical man +of the world. Last night, and most of the +time to-day, you were the trifler, the incorrigible +jester. Why do you belie yourself so +and hide your inmost self from all but me?"</p> + +<p>"Because I've got to convert you, old man. +It is a poor instrument that has but a single +string; and David's harp of solemn sound +would bore me as much as it would other folks, +if I tried to play on it all the time. How +many people would sit out this talk of ours, +or read it if we put it in print? Taken all in +all, the light fantastic measure suits me much +better. To see all sides, we must take all +tones. The varying moods within fit the +varying facts without; to get at truth we must +give each its turn. But in the main it is best +to take Life lightly. Your error was that +you were too serious about it: it's not worth +that. Most things are chiefly fit to laugh at. +The highgrand style will do once in a way: +we've worked it too hard now. Let's come +down to earth. I wanted to show you that I +could do the legitimate drama as well as you, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span> +and yet wear a tall hat and dress for dinner. +See?"</p> + +<p>"That's all very well, Bob, but I can discriminate +between your seriousness and your +farce. Perhaps it is well to mix them, or to +take them as they are mixed for us. You may +be right in that; I'll think it over. Yes, I +can see now that Heraclitus overdoes it, and +that I used to. Well, my lad, you are a queer +professor of ethics; but I'm not sure you've +brought me to the wrong school."</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="Awakening" id="Awakening"></a>XII.</h3> + +<h4>AWAKENING.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> next day Clarice took me off as usual. +"Well, have you made any more blunders?"</p> + +<p>"Not one. You have nothing to reproach +me with this time, Czarina."</p> + +<p>"You kept Mr. Hartman up dreadfully late. +What were you talking about so long?"</p> + +<p>"O, he is prepared to find you wonderful, +and to come to time whenever you want him. +I told him your wings weren't grown yet: you +were the Sleeping Beauty in the Enchanted +Palace; the hour and the man hadn't arrived. +You dwelt in maiden meditation, and the rest +of it."</p> + +<p>"You did not cheapen me, surely, Robert?"</p> + +<p>"God forbid: do I hold you cheap, that I +should rate you so to others? He may tell +you every word I said, when you begin to turn +him inside out; there was none of it that you +or I need be ashamed of. He knows, both by +his own observation and from my clear and +impressive narrative, that you are remote and +inaccessible—the edelweiss growing high up in +its solitude, where only the daring and the +elect can find its haunt."</p> + +<p>"That is very neat. Did it take you three +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span> +hours to tell him that? I heard you come in +as it struck two."</p> + +<p>"Too bad to disturb your slumbers, Princess: +we will take our boots off outside, next time. +Naturally you were the most important topic +we could discuss; but I also explained his +advantages in being thrown so much into my +own society. O, he is getting on. He said—"</p> + +<p>"I don't want to know what he said. The +man is here, and I can see—and hear, when I +choose—for myself. Do you think I would +tempt you to violate what might be a confidence, +Robert?"</p> + +<p>"But if I repeat to you what I said, why +not what he said?—except that his observations +would not be so powerful and suggestive +as mine, of course. Otherwise I don't see the +difference."</p> + +<p>"Now that is stupid, Bob. The difference +is that you belong to me, and he doesn't—as +yet."</p> + +<p>I can't tell you how she says these things. +If I could put on paper the tone, the toss of +that lovely head, the smile, the sparkle of eyes +and lips, that go with what you might call +these little audacities, then you would know +how they not only accent and punctuate the +text, but supply whole commentaries on it. +If you get a notion that the Princess is capable +of boldness, or vulgar coquetry, or any of the +faults of her sex or of ours, you are away off +the track, and my engineering must have gone +wrong. But I must stop this and get back to +my report.</p> + +<p>"One thing I must repeat, Princess. I got +off a lot of wisdom for Jim's benefit. You +wouldn't think how wise it was; deep principles +of human nature, and rules for the conduct +of life, and such. It did him no end of +good: and then he said that if I didn't talk to +you that way, you couldn't know me as well +as he does."</p> + +<p>"He must know you remarkably well then. +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span> +Just like a man's conceit. Poor Bob, who +should know you through and through if I +don't?—Why don't you talk to me that way +then, and improve me too?"</p> + +<p>"As the Scotchwoman said when they asked +her if she understood the sermon, Wad I hae +the presumption? When you catch me taking +on airs and trying to improve you, make +a note of it. No, no, Princess dear; the +lecturing and improving between us had +better remain where they are."</p> + +<p>"But, Robert, perhaps I would like to have +you vary this continual incense-burning with +snatches of something else."</p> + +<p>"I dare say. Do you know, Clarice, sometimes +I think I am an awful fool about you."</p> + +<p>"That is what the doctors call a congenital +infirmity, my dear. No use lamenting over +what you can't help. Worship me as much +as you like; it keeps you out of mischief. But +you might change the tune now and then, and +give me some of your alleged wisdom."</p> + +<p>"Shall I becloud that pure and youthful +brow with metaphysic fumes? Should I soil +your dainty muslins with the antique dust of +folios, and oil from the midnight lamp? You +wait till you take up Hartman; perhaps you +can stand it from him. But if I were to hold +forth to you in the style he prefers, you would +get sick of me in twenty minutes. Let it +suffice that my lonely vigils are spent in severe +studies and profound meditations, the fruit +whereof, in a somewhat indirect and roundabout +way, may make smooth and safe the +path that is traversed by your fairy feet. In +the expressive language of the poet, Be happy; +tend thy flowers; be tended by my blessing."</p> + +<p>"I know about your lonely vigils, Bob; +they are spent on cigars, and making up jokes +to use next morning. But you are not as bad +as usual <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'to day'">to-day</ins>. Do you know, I like you +better when you are comparatively serious."</p> + +<p>"Then let me be ever thus, my Queen! It +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span> +is the solemnizing influence of being so much +with you. If you keep it up for another week, +you'll have to send me off to New York to +get secularized. I say, Clarice, how long do +you mean to go on in this way? It's all very +nice for me, but how about Hartman? <i>He's</i> +not frivolous; he takes Life in awful earnest. +What do you propose to do with him after +you've got him—I should say, after the fatal +dart has transfixed his manly form, and he +falls pierced and bleeding at your feet?"</p> + +<p>"My dear child, let me tell you a pretty +little tale. Once upon a time there was a +friend of mine, who thought a good deal of me, +and of whom I thought more than he knew, +poor man—enough to make you jealous, Bob."—Now +who the devil was that, confound him? +I never heard of him before. It must have +been that winter she spent in Boston, just after +she came out. That's over five years ago; +he's probably dead or married before this. +Well, get on with your pretty little tale: not +that I see much prettiness about it.—"And +when I would tease him to tell me some secret, +he would answer, in his own well-chosen language. +Some day you will know: you wait +and see. By-by, baby!"—and away she +dashed.</p> + +<p>My tongue went too fast last night. Her +heart <i>is</i> waking; her wings are sprouting. +She must be getting interested in Jim. The +hour is at hand, and the man: the horn at the +castle-gate will soon be sounded, and presto! +the transformation scene. That will be a +spectacle for gods and men, now; but no +tickets will be sold at the doors—admittance +only by private card, and that to a very select +few. I don't want any change in you, Princess; +but I suppose the angels would like to +see the depths in you that you haven't +sounded, the fairer and wider chambers of +your soul opened to the light. God grant +that light may need no darkness to come before +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span> +it, no storm-tossed, doubtful daybreak. If +the change is for your happiness, no matter +about us. You are moving toward a land +where I cannot follow you; a land of mystery +and wonder and awakening, of new beauties +and glories and perils, and possibilities unknown +and infinite—a journey wherein you +can have no guide but your own pure instincts, +no adviser but your own untried heart. God +be with you, for Jane and Mabel can do no +more than I. We shall hear no word from +you till all be over, and then the Clarice of +old will return to us no more. Transfigured +she may be and beatified, but not the one we +knew and loved so long. Little sister, all +these years I have been at your side or ready +at your call, and now you will not call and I +cannot come to help you; for in these matters +the heart knoweth its own bitterness, and a +stranger doth not intermeddle with its joy. +May it be joy and not the other! God be +with them both, for it is a dangerous country +where they are going; a region of mists and +pitfalls and morasses, where closest friends +may be rudely severed, and those whom +Heaven hath joined be put asunder by their +own most innocent errors—and the finest +spirits run the heaviest risk. Ah well, if I +were the Grand Duke of Gerolstein, maybe +things would be better managed in my dominions.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="Domestic_Criticisms" id="Domestic_Criticisms"></a>XIII.</h3> + +<h4>DOMESTIC CRITICISMS.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">Hartman</span> has made a first-rate impression +here. It would please you to see this stern +ascetic, this despiser of Life and Humanity, +with two toddlers on his lap, and Herbert at +his knee, all listening open-mouthed to tales +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span> +of the animal and vegetable kingdoms. The +boy thinks that one who lives in the woods +must be a great hunter, and clamors for bears +and wildcats: Jane, in her usual unfeeling +way, insists that I put him up to this. But +though I am a family man—and you could not +easily find one more exemplary—I do not propose +to drag the nursery into the cold glare of +public comment, or favor you with a chapter +on the Management of Children.</p> + +<p>I would like to know why it is that women +are so ready to take up with any chance +stranger who comes along, when they cannot +see the true greatness of their own nearest +and dearest. Mabel pronounces Hartman a +perfect gentleman and a safe companion for +me; as if it were I, not he, that needed looking +after. Jane seems to regard him as the +rock which withstands the tempest, the oak +round which the vine may safely cling, and +that sort of thing. He is a good-looking fellow +yet, and he has a stalwart kind of bearing, +adapted to deceive persons who do not know +him as well as I do. They would almost side +with him against Clarice—but not quite: in +their hearts, they think her perfect.</p> + +<p>One evening we were all together in the +parlor. The Princess had gone somewhere +with one of her numerous adorers, whom she +had failed to bluff off as she generally does: +the young man was going to cast himself into +the sea, I believe, and I told her she had better +let him and be done with it, but she said +he had a widowed mother and several sisters, +and ought to live long enough to leave them +comfortably provided for; so I let her go. I +was trying to direct the conversation into improving +channels, but the frivolous female +mind is too much for me.</p> + +<p>"Mr. Hartman," Jane began, "we rely on +you to exercise a good influence upon Robert. +He is so light-minded, and so deceitful."</p> + +<p>"Yes," Mabel added; "no one can restrain +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span> +him but Clarice, and she cannot spend her +whole time upon him, she has so much else +to do."</p> + +<p>"See here," said I; "this is a put-up job: +I will have you all indicted for conspiracy. +Have you no proper respect for the head of +the house?"</p> + +<p>"We would like to," my spouse replied: +"we make every effort: but it is so difficult! +Mr. Hartman, he wants to manage every little +matter, particularly those which pertain exclusively +to women, and which he cannot +understand at all."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Jane; "would you believe it, +Mr. Hartman, he attempted to instruct us as +to the proper manner of receiving you! But +that is not the worst of it. He is utterly +unable to keep a secret—not that any one +would entrust him with secrets of the least +importance, of course. And when he thinks +he knows something that we do not know, he +goes about looking so solemn that even Herbert +can detect him at once. And in such +cases he actually comes to us, and questions +us about the matter, with a view to throwing +us off the scent, and keeping dark, as he calls +it. Did you ever hear of such absurdity?"</p> + +<p>"Ladies and gentleman," I said with dignity, +"would you mind excusing me for a few moments? +I would like to retire to the rocks +outside, and swear a bit."</p> + +<p>"Robert!" my wife cried, "I am ashamed +of you. What will Mr. Hartman think of +your morals?" You see, they think Jim is a +very correct young man.</p> + +<p>"O, I know him of old," he said. "Never +mind, Bob, I will stand by you. Really, you +are a little hard on him. He has improved; +I assure you he has. Why, he was quite a +cub at college. Your softening influences have +done a great deal for him; everything, in +fact."</p> + +<p>"It is very nice in you to say so, Mr. Hartman, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span> +and very polite, and very loyal; but I +know Robert. Clarice does him a little good: +she would do very much more, if he were not +so stiff-necked. He thinks he is a man, and +we are only women."</p> + +<p>"Well," I asked, "are you going to dispute +that proposition? If so, I will leave Hartman +to argue it out with you."</p> + +<p>"Mr. Hartman," said Jane, "he thinks he +knows everything, and women are inferior +creatures. O, such a superior being as he is!"</p> + +<p>"This is getting monotonous," I remarked. +"Suppose, for a change, we abuse Clarice, as +she is not here; that will be pleasanter all +round, and less unconventional. Now that +girl does a great deal of harm, turning the +heads of so many foolish young men. She +spends more on her dress than you and I do +together, Hartman. What an aim in life for +a rational being! Simply to look pretty, and +produce an occasional piece of perfectly idle +and useless embroidery: tidies even, now and +then—just think of it! Of all the—"</p> + +<p>My wife stopped me here, and I was glad of +it, for I really did not know what to say next.</p> + +<p>"You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Robert. +To speak in that way of my cousin, and your +own adopted sister! Don't believe a word of +it, Mr. Hartman. She is sweet girl, though +reserved with strangers: I am sorry you have +seen so little of her. A high-minded, pure-hearted, +dear, sweet, lovely girl; she is, and +you know it, Robert." Well, perhaps I do; +but there is no need of my saying so just now. +Jane has to put in her oar again, of course.</p> + +<p>"Yes, Mr. Hartman, and that is a sample +of his hypocrisy. He thinks as highly of +Clarice as we do, and is almost as fond of her; +and yet he pretends to criticize her, just to +draw away attention from his own shortcomings."</p> + +<p>"Well, let's drop Clarice then, and go on +discussing the present company, if you insist. +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span> +We'll take them up one by one: I've had my +turn, and my native modesty shrinks from +further praise. You see Mrs. T., Hartman? +She sits there looking so calm and placid, like +a mother in Israel; you would think her a +model spouse. Yet no one knows what I +suffer. Mabel, I had not been with him ten +minutes last May when he noticed my premature +baldness, and general fagged-out and +jaded look; and to hide the secrets of my +prison-house, I had to pretend that I had been +working too hard in Water Street. You all +know how painful deception is to my candid +nature; but I did it for your sake, Mabel. +When did I ever return aught but good for +evil? Yet O, the curtain lectures, the manifold +ways in which the iron has entered into +my soul! But we brought Hartman here to +reconcile him to civilized and domestic life, +and I will say no more. Now there is Jane. +She naturally puts her best foot foremost in +company; you think she is all she seems: but +I could a tale unfold. Now mark my magnanimity: +I won't do it. She is my sister, +and with all her faults I love her still. Well, +if you <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'are are'">are</ins> tired you'd better go to bed: +Hartman wants to smoke."</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="Over_two_Cigars" id="Over_two_Cigars"></a>XIV.</h3> + +<h4>OVER TWO CIGARS.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">When</span> we got out under the pure breezes of +heaven, Hartman turned to me and said, "So +you call this reconciling me to domestic life, +do you?"</p> + +<p>"Well, I want you to see things as they are. +They are not as bad as your fancy used to +paint them, or as a duller man might suppose +from recent appearances. Women haven't +our sense of humor, Jim: their humble efforts +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span> +at jocosity are apt to be exaggerated, or +flat—generally +both; but they mean no harm."</p> + +<p>"Well, Bob, your preparations to instruct +my ignorance are highly successful. All this +is as good as a play. You see you are found +out, old humbug; everybody sees through you. +You can't delude any of us any more."</p> + +<p>"I don't quite see what you're driving at, +my christian friend; but I'm glad you like +us, and I hope you'll like us better before you +are done with us." When he talks like this, +I am content to see the hand of Fate snatch at +his scalp, as it will before long. Gibe on, +ungrateful mocker: retribution will soon overtake +you in your mad career. Where then +will be your gibes, your quips, your quiddities? +You'll want my sympathy by and by, +and I'll see about giving it.</p> + +<p>"You needn't be so much cast down, Bob. +Perhaps you are building me up better than +you know. Your struggles with your womankind +give a flavor to what I used to suppose +must be insipid. You are pretty well satisfied +with each other, or you wouldn't pretend to +quarrel so. What I saw of you before did +something toward reconciling me to human +nature at large, and your quaint efforts at +shrewdness and finesse set off your real +character. You might take in outsiders, but +not me."</p> + +<p>"This is too much, my friend—a blanked +sight too much. Crushed to earth by such +unmerited compliments, I can only repeat +my gratification that we meet with your approval. +You settle down, and you'll see how +insipid it is: then you'll be making some +quaint efforts at shrewdness and finesse yourself. +Invite me then, and I'll get even with +you, old man. But I say, what did you mean +about my being a cub at college?"</p> + +<p>"Well, you were, you know. Barmaids and +ballet-dancers, and that sort of thing."</p> + +<p>"Confound you, Hartman, what do you go +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span> +bringing them up for? There was only one +of each, or thereabouts, and they were generally +old enough to be my mothers. I was but +a child, Jim—a guileless, merry, high-hearted +boy, and innocent as the lamb unshorn."</p> + +<p>"You were that, and the shearing did you a +lot of good. O, you can be easy; I'll not +bring up the sins of your youth."</p> + +<p>"They were no sins, only follies. I had my +early Pendennis stage, of course, and invested +every woman I met with the hues of imagination. +But Mabel and the girls might not understand +that."</p> + +<p>"I don't think they would. Happily, it is +not necessary they should try to, since you +have returned to the path of rectitude. Do +you think you belonged to Our Society in those +days, Bob?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, sir: I did, in embryo. I had it in me +to develop into the ornament of our species +you behold at present. That's all a boy is +good for, anyway. He thinks he's somebody, +but he isn't. He doesn't amount to anything, +except in the fond hopes of his anxious +parents. He knows nothing, and he can do +nothing, except learn by his blunders; and +some of 'em can't do that. But if he has any +stuff in him, he grows and ripens with time, +as you and I did. What bosh, to put the +prime of life at twenty-five. They ought to +move it on a bit; about our age, now, a man +ought to be at his best."</p> + +<p>"I don't know, Bob. I was an egregious +ass at twenty-five, and I'm not sure I'm any +better now."</p> + +<p>"Then there's hope of you, my boy. But +one must go on getting experience. You shut +the door too soon and too tight, Jim."</p> + +<p>"When I had it open, such an infernal +stench and dust came in, that it seemed best +to close it. But it's open again now, partly, +and this seems a healthier and cleaner atmosphere."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span> +"You'll come out all right, Jim; and when +you do, you won't seem to have been altogether +wrong all these years. You've kept +yourself unspotted from the world, more than +most of us; and when you come to know a +girl like Clarice, you'll want the most and +best of you, to be fit for her society. If only +one could get the general ripening without +some of the dashed details of the process! +She makes you wish you could have been +brought up in a bandbox, if only you could +have come out of it a man and not a mollycoddle."</p> + +<p>"Only 'men-maidens in their purity' are +worthy to approach her, no doubt. Apparently +I am not. I'll have to be content with +your account of Miss Elliston's perfections, +Robert. She seems to have no more use for +me than the Texans for the Sheriff. But I am +doing very nicely, thanks to your sister. I +doubt if you appreciate Miss Jane, Bob. She +sees further into things than you do. She impresses +me as a sound-hearted woman, wise, +kind, and gracious."</p> + +<p>"Yes, and so sisterly and appreciative. O +yes, such a superior person as she is! But +see here, Jim; that's not what you're here for. +Jane is all very well in her way, but——"</p> + +<p>He turned on me suddenly. "What the +deuce do you mean now?"</p> + +<p>By Jove, now I've done it: he's got me in a +corner.—You just wait and see me get out of +it. "O well, Jim, I speak only by general +analogy, of course. I am not in the Princess's +confidence, as I told you. I might be if any +one were, but nobody can see into her mind +further than she chooses to let them, and that +is but a very little way. It would be a fine +sight, no doubt; but she has the reticence of +a—well, of an angel probably; exceptionally +delicate and sensitive nature, and all that, you +know. It's not her way to let a good thing +go by unnoticed, and she is quite able to appreciate +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span> +you. Your time is not up yet: you're +likely to see more of her before you go—at +least, I should suppose so."</p> + +<p>"Well, I am here to see things, as you say, +and I may as well see whatever is to be shown +me. I am in your hands, old man; make as +good a job of it as you can before you send +me back to the woods."</p> + +<p>It is all very well for him to talk lightly on +solemn subjects; he'll change his tone by and +by. I have prepared his mind now, as I prepared +the others before he came. Perhaps I +ought to have done it sooner; perhaps the +Princess has been waiting for that. She'll +know, without my telling her; she'll see it in +his eye.—Nonsense, Robert T.; your zeal outruns +your discretion. What does she want of +your help in a thing like this? Anyway, he's +ready to be operated on, and it seems about +time she began to put in her work.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="The_Catastrophe" id="The_Catastrophe"></a>XV.</h3> + +<h4>THE CATASTROPHE.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">This</span> miscellaneous entertainment, as I have +remarked, lasted for about a week: then suddenly +the situation changed. I can't tell you +how it was done, though I was looking on all +the time; but one evening I found myself with +Jane, and Hartman had gone off with the +Princess. We were all ready to play to her +lead, no doubt; but it would have made no +difference if it had been otherwise: when she +ordains a thing, that thing is done, and without +her taking any pains about it either, so +far as you can see. I think the predestined +victim was pleased and flattered to have the +sacrificial chapter placed upon his head, so to +speak; he ought to have been, at any rate.</p> + +<p>"Jane," I said, "what do you suppose +Clarice is up to now?"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span> +"Robert," said she, "I thought I had given +you a lesson about practising your absurd +hypocrisies on me. Who should know what +her plans are, if not you? If you really are +not in her confidence—and it would not be +far, certainly—surely you know Clarice well +enough not to interfere. Let them alone, and +keep quiet." That is the way they always +talk to me: I wish they would find something +new to say.</p> + +<p>Things went on in this fashion for another +week or more. It was all very quiet: there +was really nothing to see. What they talked +about I don't know; when the rest of us were +by, their conversation was not notable. I can +make more original and forcible remarks myself; +in fact, I do, every day. But I have no +doubt she catechized and cross-examined him +in private. It is not Hartman's way to air his +theories before ladies, or to obtrude himself as +a topic of discussion; but the Princess, when +she condescends to notice a man at all, likes to +see a good deal further into his soul than he +ever gets to see into hers. That is all right in +this case; the doctor has to be acquainted +with the symptoms before he can cure the +patient. When Hartman and I were together +at the end of the evenings and at odd hours, +he had very little to say: he seemed rather +preöccupied and introspective. He is another +of your plaguedly reserved people, who when +they have anything on hand wrap it up in +Egyptian darkness and Cimmerian gloom. +That is the correct thing in a woman—in +Clarice at least: in a man I don't like it. My +soul, now, is as open as the day, and when I +have struck any new ideas or discoveries, I +would willingly stand on a house-top—if it +were flat—and proclaim them for the benefit of +the world. Even my uncompleted processes +of thought are at the service of any one who +can appreciate them; but you can't expect +everybody to be like me. Most men are selfish, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span> +narrowly engrossed in their small private +concerns—no generous public spirit about +them. But then Hartman is not used to this +kind of thing, and I suppose it knocks the +wind out of him.</p> + +<p>One evening I was by myself in the shrubbery; +it was just dark, but there was a tidy +young moon. I wanted to smoke a pipe for a +change, and so had gone to the most secluded +place I could find, for if Mabel were to hear of +this, Hartman might not get reconciled to +domestic life. I sat there, meditating on the +uncertainty of human affairs: it would do you +more good than a little to know what thoughts +passed through my mind, but there is no time +to go into that. Suddenly two forms came +in sight. One was of manly dignity, the other +of willowy grace. His frame towered like the +noble oak on the hilltop, while hers—but we +have had the oak and the vine before, +and worked them for all they are worth. +Perhaps I ought to have given you a more +particular account of the appearance of these +two young persons: but you don't care to +know their exact height and fighting weight, +the color of their hair and eyes, and so forth; +what you want is the stature and complexion +of their souls. They were a handsome pair, +and whene'er they took their walks and drives +abroad like Dr. Watts, they attracted much +attention. Just now there was nobody but +myself to admire them, and I was in ambush. +They strolled about in what there was of the +moonlight, seeming much absorbed, and I sat +still in the shade, and put down my pipe: I +couldn't hear their talk, and didn't want to +disturb them. Suddenly he raised his voice: +matters between them must have come to an +interesting stage. "But, Clarice, if you care +for me—"</p> + +<p>He was too quick. The madness which +urged him on can easily be understood and—except +by the one concerned—pardoned; but +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span> +what devil possessed her, who shall say? She +drew herself up with superb scorn. "You are +beginning at the wrong end, Sir. 'If I care +for you!' Why should I?"</p> + +<p>"Very good," he said at once. "I was +mistaken. I beg your pardon most humbly."</p> + +<p>There was as little humility as possible in +his look and tone. He stood like a gladiator—and +not a wounded one either—with his head +thrown back and his chest out. I could fancy, +rather than see, the flashing of his eyes.</p> + +<p>The flashes were all on his side now; +Clarice's brief exhibition of fireworks seemed +to be over, and she was drooping. "Mr. Hartman," +she began, and could get no further.</p> + +<p>In <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: 'the' does not appear in the original">the</ins> act to go, he turned and faced her again.</p> + +<p>"Miss Elliston, my presumption was doubtless +unpardonable; I shall not know how to +forgive myself. Do me the <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'underserved'">undeserved</ins> honor, +if you can, to forget it—and me. I can only +renew my apologies, and relieve you of my +presence."</p> + +<p>He bowed, and was gone. The proper +thing for Clarice to do next was to swoon or +shriek; but I knew her too well to expect anything +of that sort. Nor did she tear her hair, +or beat her breast, or offer to the solitary +spectator any performance worth noting. +I thought it best to keep remarkably quiet in +my corner till she too had gone. In fact, I staid +there for an hour or two after, though I did +not enjoy that pipe at all; the tobacco was not +right, or something. You see, after all the +lectures I had had, I did not want to spoil +things by mixing myself up with them; the +situation looked picturesque enough without +me in it.</p> + +<p>When I went back to the house I found +that Jim had caught the boat and gone. "He +came to me," said Mabel, "and told me that +he had overstaid his time and found it best to +go to-night. He was very friendly, but his +tone did not encourage questioning or remonstrance. +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span> +His parting with Jane was almost +affectionate, and he left kind regards for you. +But not a word for Clarice."</p> + +<p>"Great Jackson! what is the matter with +them?" I often use what my wife considers +profane language when I have something to +hide.</p> + +<p>It had its effect this time. "Robert, be +quiet. It is all right. When there is anything +for you to know, you shall know it."</p> + +<p>She sometimes appears to mistake me for +our eldest boy. But I was glad to get off with the +secret. Yes, there is something to know, my +lady, and I know it, though you don't. But I +fear it is a long way from all right.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="Feminine_Counsels" id="Feminine_Counsels"></a>XVI.</h3> + +<h4>FEMININE COUNSELS.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">After</span> this there was general gloom <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'about about'">about</ins> +the place, and I preferred to spend much +of the time in New York. But whenever I +got there, this confounded <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'buisness'">business</ins> would +drive me back: Clarice might want me. Nobody +dared question her, till one day at lunch +Herbert spoke up. "Mamma, why doesn't +Mr. Hartman come back? Cousin Clarice, +what have you done to him?" He was +promptly suppressed, and the Princess froze +his infant veins with a stony stare, while Jane +and I looked hard at our plates. But later +that day I came upon Clarice and the child +together: he was locked in her arms, and +begging her not to cry. They did not see me, +and I retired in good order.</p> + +<p>Within a week came a short note from Jim: +apologies for leaving without saying good-bye +to me, appreciation of our kindness, regards +to my wife and sister—and not a word of +Clarice. I took it to Mabel, of course.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span> +"Be very careful how you answer this now, +Robert."</p> + +<p>"How will this do? 'Dear Jim, sorry you +went off in such a hurry; but after my performance +in May I have no right to find fault. We +all miss you, I think: the house has grown +dull. Herbert continues to fall over the <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'bannisters'">banisters</ins>, +and at intervals over the rocks: at all +hours, but especially when laid up for repairs, +he howls for you and bear-stories. Our kindest +regards. Keep us posted.' That's about it, +eh?"</p> + +<p>"Ye-es: you can't ask him to come back, and +you can't mention Clarice; so you can say no +more, and I don't like you to say any less. +That is very well—for you, Robert; though +you need not be so unfeeling about your own +son."</p> + +<p>It is well occasionally to consult your womankind +in such cases, because, though they may +not know as much of the facts as you do, still +they can sometimes give you an inner light on +points you would not have thought of. Besides, +it compliments and encourages them; +whereas, if you appeared to pay no regard to +their opinions, they would naturally feel neglected. +A little judicious indirect flattery is +of great use in managing one's household. +So I put on my best air of injured innocence.</p> + +<p>"Mabel, I wish you could tell me what is the +matter. Here my guest leaves my house suddenly, +without a word of explanation. Herbert +must be right: what has Clarice done to +him?"</p> + +<p>"Robert, I told you that all was well; at least +I trust it will be, though it may not seem so +now. The leaven is working; leave it to Time. +Above all, don't meddle; ask no questions; +leave the matter to those who understand +it."</p> + +<p>Now does she mean herself and Jane by +that, or only Clarice and Hartman? I wonder +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span> +if she thinks that I think that she knows anything +about it. If she did, I should catch +some sign of it. I tried my sister.</p> + +<p>"Jane, don't fly at me now, please. I am +in trouble."</p> + +<p>"So are we all, brother. Trouble not of our +own making—most of us."</p> + +<p>"Well then, what does all this secrecy +mean? Has Clarice spoken to you? What +does Mabel know?"</p> + +<p>"She knows no more than you and I, +brother. Something has happened: any one +may suspect what it is, but Clarice will not +tell. I love and respect her too much to ask: +so does Mabel; and so, I hope, do you."</p> + +<p>"Well, it's confounded hard lines, Jane, to +have these things happening in your own +house, and such a mystery made of it." I had +to grumble to somebody, you see, if only to +keep up appearances and help hide my guilty +secret; and then I <i>was</i> bored, and worse, with +the way things had gone.</p> + +<p>"You took that risk, Robert, when you +brought them together here. Did you expect +that two such persons as they would agree +easily and at once? I think they love each +other, or were in a way to it when this occurred, +whatever it was."</p> + +<p>"Well, I am awfully sorry. Clarice can +take care of herself, I suppose; but as for +Hartman, he had load enough to carry before. +I love that man, Jane."</p> + +<p>"So do I, Robert."</p> + +<p>"Eh? O, the devil you do!" This came +out before I could stop it. It did not please +her.</p> + +<p>"Brother, you are simply scandalous. Will +you never learn a decent respect for women—you +with a wife of your own, and boys growing +up? Where have you been to acquire +such ideas and such manners? You might +have lived in the woods instead of Mr. Hartman, +and he might have been bred in courts, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span> +compared with you.—I mean, of course, that +I am interested in him, and sorry for him, as +we all are. He is your friend, and he has +excellent qualities."</p> + +<p>I was somewhat cast down by all this browbeating. +Where shall a man go for gentle +sympathy and that sort of thing, if not to his +own sister? I suppose she thought of this, for +she went on more kindly. "I would say +nothing to Clarice if I were you. When she +is ready, she will speak—to you."</p> + +<p>"To me, eh? What would she do that for?" +I put this in as part of the narrative, but I +am not proud of it. I had not quite recovered +yet from the effect of Jane's previous violence; +and then my intellect is not equal to all these +feminine convolutions.</p> + +<p>"Brother, your head is not as good as your +heart. Don't you understand that in some +cases a woman goes to a man, if there is one +of the right kind at hand, much as a man goes +to a woman? You are a man, and Mr. Hartman's +nearest friend. After all her recent +confidences with you, or intimacy at any rate—of +course I don't know what she talked with +you about, so many hours—is it surprising +that Clarice should turn to you in her trouble, +when she can bring herself to break silence +at all? When she is ready, she will speak to +you, and to no one else. Till she is ready, +not all of us together, nor all the world, could +draw a word from her. Must I explain all +this to you, as if you were Herbert? And +when she does speak, brother, I do hope that +you will listen with due respect and sympathy, +and not disgust and repel her by any more +coarse ideas and base interpretations."</p> + +<p>I paid no attention to these last remarks, +which seemed to me wholly unworthy of Jane. +Strange, that one who at times displays so +much intelligence and even, as Hartman calls +it, discernment, can in other things be +so unappreciative and almost low-minded. +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span> +Coarse ideas, indeed! Well, never mind that +now: let me meditate on this prospect which +she has opened to my view. So Clarice is +coming to me: she knows I am her best +friend after all. Little Clarice, how often have +I dandled her on my knee in the years that +have gone by! Dear little Clarice——<span class="smcap">Bosh</span>! +What an infernal fool a man can make of +himself over a pretty woman in trouble! I +am sometimes almost tempted to think that, +as she delicately hinted, there must be an +uncommon soft spot in my upper story. It +is bad enough to show it when the girl is by; +let me preserve my balance till then. When +she wants to talk to me, I will hear what she +has to say.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="Consolation" id="Consolation"></a>XVII.</h3> + +<h4>CONSOLATION.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">Sure</span> enough about a week after this Clarice +came to me as I was smoking a surreptitious +cigar on the rocks, away from the house, after +sundown. She came and sat down close by +me, but I pretended not to notice. "Robert," +said she. "Well," said I. There is no use +in meeting them half way when they are willing +to come the whole distance: mostly you +have to do it all yourself, and turn about is +fair play.</p> + +<p>"Robert, are you angry with me?"</p> + +<p>I couldn't help looking at her now, and she +shot one of her great glances into my face. +I melted right down, and so would you have +done. "Clarice, you know I never could be +angry with you five minutes together—nor +five seconds, if you chose to stop it. What +have I got to be angry about now?"</p> + +<p>"Well, Bob, it wasn't your fault this time."</p> + +<p>"No, I trust not. Whose fault was it?"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span> +"Mine, mine. Bob, will you be my friend?" +And she put her hand in mine.</p> + +<p>"What have I ever been but your friend? +Don't you do as you like with me—and with +all of us? Clarice, you know it hurts me to +see you like this. And there's poor Hartman."</p> + +<p>She pulled away from me. "What has Mr. +Hartman to do with it? Who was talking of +him?"</p> + +<p>"Miss Elliston," I said with dignity, "the +First of April is past some time ago. What +do you want to be playing these games on me +for?"</p> + +<p>"O, don't 'Miss Elliston' me, Bob. Don't +you understand women yet?"</p> + +<p>"No, I'll be shot if I do; and I never +expect to. That will do for young beginners, +who think they know everything. I've seen +too much of you to pretend to understand +you. Why don't you speak out and come +straight to the point?"</p> + +<p>"Why, you goose, that's not our nature. +Speaking out and going straight to the point +will do for great clumsy things like you and +Mr. Hartman."</p> + +<p>"Well, I am a great clumsy thing, as you +justly observe. It's very pleasant to have +you come to me like this, Princess, and I wish +you would do it oftener; it's mighty little I've +seen of you of late. But though it would +meet my views to prolong this session indefinitely, +I suppose you want something of me, +or you wouldn't be so sweet. It may seem +an improbable statement, but I would rather +help you out of this scrape than enjoy your +society even—that's saying a good deal, but it's +true. Yes, I'm fool enough for that."</p> + +<p>"I know you are, dear," she said, very low +and sweetly. Now what was it she knew? +You can take that two ways. All the compliments +I get are so ambiguous. But this did +not occur to me till afterwards. So I went on +with my usual manly simplicity.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span> +"Then you know there's no need of circumlocution +and feminine wiles when you want +anything of me, Princess. You have but to +speak, and, as the Frenchman said, 'If it is +possible, it shall be done: if it is impossible, +I can only regret that I can't do it.' What +do you want me to do now?"</p> + +<p>"Nothing, Bob; nothing but to listen to +me and be good."</p> + +<p>"I am listening, Clarice: I've been listening +all this time." This was not quite true, for I +had done most of the talking; but then what I +said was not of much account. When I am +with her I often talk just to fill the gaps.</p> + +<p>"You can listen when I am ready to talk, +and keep quiet till then. I only want your +sympathy."</p> + +<p>"You have it, Clarice; you have it most +fully. Come rest on this bosom, my own +stricken dear—"</p> + +<p>"I don't want to rest on your bosom, Bob; +your shoulder is big enough. Have you got +your best coat on?"</p> + +<p>"Well, no; this is not the one I wore at +dinner. But I will go to the house and get +my clawhammer if you wish."</p> + +<p>"No, no. I only want to cry a little."</p> + +<p>"You would be perfectly welcome to cry on +my best coat every day of the week, Princess, +and I would get a new one as often as it might +be needed. I don't wish to make capital out +of your grief, my dear; I would rather never +get a kind word from you than have you suffer. +But often it seems as if you didn't care for +anybody, you are so high and mighty and +offish; and O doth not an hour like this make +amends—"</p> + +<p>"Drop that, Bob. Don't try to be sentimental: +you always get the lines wrong. I've +not been here an hour. O, were you joking? +You are no more in the humor for jokes than +I am, and you know it. Do keep quiet."</p> + +<p>I did: I 'dropped it.' Clarice will use slang +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span> +at times, it is one of her few faults. Where +she learns it, I cannot conceive. It is unfeminine, +and out of keeping with her whole +character; in any one else I should call it vulgar. +But I saw she did not wish to be disturbed +just then, so I said no more. Instead, +I thought of my guilty secret—her secret. It +weighs on me heavily; but I can't tell her +what I saw and heard. I don't know how she +would take it; and I don't care to be exploding +any dynamite bombs about my own premises. +The situation is bad enough as it is; I'll not +make it worse. Poor Clarice! poor Hartman! +And yet you can't meddle with such high-strung +folks. By and by she spoke.</p> + +<p>"Bob, do you know why I come to you, +instead of to Jane or Mabel?"</p> + +<p>I was on the point of quoting Jane's valuable +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: the original is unclear here">idea</ins> about my being a man, but refrained.</p> + +<p>"I could not ask any woman for what you +give me. And you are half a woman, Bob; +you are so patient and loyal. Nobody else +would be that."</p> + +<p>"But Mabel and Jane love you too, dear. +They would do anything for you."</p> + +<p>"Yes, but that is more on equal terms. I +am so exacting; I want so much, and give so +little. I suppose I was born so; and you have +spoiled me—all of you. O, I know I have +treated you badly, Robert, often; generally, +in fact. I am proud and hateful, and you +never resent it. Only a man can be like that—to +a woman: and very few men would be +so. You are not like other men, Bob: there +is nobody like you. You are such a useful +domestic animal."</p> + +<p>Perhaps I was getting unduly exalted when +she let me down thus. I wish Clarice at least +would be less mixed—more continuous and +consistent, so to speak—when she sets forth +my virtues. But one must take the Princess +as he finds her, and be content with any +crumbs of approval she may drop. Sometimes +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span> +I think I am a fool about her; but when she +talks as she does to-night, I know I am not. +There may be more amiable women, and plenty +more even-tempered; but there is only one +Clarice. I may have made that remark before, +but it will bear repeating. It is not +of me she is thinking all this time: how should +it be? O Hartman, Hartman, if you could +know what I know, and see what is before you!</p> + +<p>Presently she spoke again. "Robert, why +don't you ask me what I have done? I know +you are dying of curiosity."</p> + +<p>"I can restrain my curiosity, rather than +pry into your affairs, dear. When you see +fit, you will tell me. But if you wish it, I will +ask you."</p> + +<p>"No, it would be of no use. I can't tell +you now; perhaps never. Robert, where did +you learn to respect a woman so?"</p> + +<p>"Jane says I will never learn it. But I do +respect you, Princess."</p> + +<p>"That must have been when you had vexed +her with some of your blunders: you do make +blunders, you <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'know' without a question mark">know</ins>? But, Bob, do you know +why I love you?"</p> + +<p>This moved me so that I had to put myself +on guard. She never said so much as that +before: it is not her way to talk about feelings +or profess much affection for anybody.</p> + +<p>"I suppose because we were brought up +together, and you are used to me. And, as +you say, I am a useful domestic animal. If I +can be useful to you, I am proud and thankful. +I think more of you than I could easily +say: it is very good of you to give me some +small return."</p> + +<p>"It is because you have a heart, Robert. +They may say what they please of your head, +but you have a great big heart."</p> + +<p>Now was ever the superior male intellect +thus disparaged? She must have got this +notion from Jane; but I can't quarrel with +her now.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span> +"Men are great clumsy things, as you said, +dear: we have not your tact, nor your delicate +roundabout methods. You are right, I do +make blunders; I feel my deficiencies when I +am with you. But if my head, such as it is, +or my heart, or my hand, can ever serve you, +they will be ready."</p> + +<p>"Suppose I were to leave you, and go out +of your life?"</p> + +<p>"You could not go out of my life, though +you might go far away. I should be sorry, +but I have no right to hold you. But if you +ever wanted me, I should always be here."</p> + +<p>"Suppose I did something wrong and foolish?"</p> + +<p>"I don't want to suppose that, but if I must—it +would not be for me to judge you, as you +told me once. You might do something that +did not accurately represent your mind and +character: since I know them, the action +would be merely a mistake, a transient incongruity. +I don't change easily: I have known +you from your cradle. And if it was ever +possible for me to fail you, it is not possible +after to-night."</p> + +<p>"You are very fond of Mr. Hartman, Robert. +What if I quarreled with him? Would you +take my part against him?"</p> + +<p>"I would take your part against the world, +Clarice. But he is not of the world. A sad +and lonely man, burdened with an inverted +conscience and quixotic fancies that turn the +waters into blood, who has come for once out +of his hermitage to catch a glimpse of the +light that never was on sea or land, and then +to see it turn into darkness for him. I fear +he is sadder and lonelier now than when I +brought him from the woods: but I would +stake my soul on his honor, as I would on +yours. You cannot force me into such a +dilemma."</p> + +<p>A heavenly glow was on her face now, as +she looked long at the stars, and then at me. +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</a></span> +"Why are you eloquent only when you speak +of him, brother?"</p> + +<p>"You say I have a heart, Clarice: it is eloquent +when I think of you. Shall a stranger +be more sacred to me than my sister?—and I +don't mean Jane. You would be sacred to a +better man than I, dear, if he knew you as I +do: you may be so already, for what I can tell. +He <i>could</i> not mean to sin against you, Princess. +If he seemed to fail in respect, or courtesy, or +anything that was your due, forgive him, and +don't banish him forever. I trusted that you +would have enlightened and converted and +consoled him: he is worth it."</p> + +<p>I longed to say more, but this was as far as I +dared go. She sighed.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps I need to be converted and consoled +myself. But that is ungrateful; with such a +comforter at hand I ought not to be miserable. +We never knew each other like this before, +Robert. Why is it?"</p> + +<p>"I don't know, Clarice—or rather I do, of +course. It takes the moon, and stars, and a +common trouble, to bring people together, even +when they see each other every day; and then +concurring moods must help. One stands in +awe of you, Princess; I always shall. You only +tolerated me when you were happy: I was +rough, and careless, and stupid, and made bad +jokes in the wrong places. I will try to do +better after this, so that you need not be repelled +when you want me. Hartman, now, is of +finer mould than I: if you would let him come +back—"</p> + +<p>"No more of that now, dear. Let us go in. +The moon is going down: it is getting cold +and dark." So it was; and damp too—on my +shoulder at least. "I am glad you had your +old coat on," she said.</p> + +<p>Mabel was alone in the parlor. "Well," she +began; then she saw our faces, and modified +her tone. "The moonlight was very fine, I +suppose?"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</a></span> +"You know you never will go out in the +evening," said Clarice. "It is later than I +thought. Don't scold Robert; he has been a +dear good boy." She kissed her, and went +upstairs.</p> + +<p>"Mabel," said I, "Clarice is in trouble." I +had to say something, and this was perfectly +safe. You see, she had told me nothing, and +so I could say if asked. But I wasn't.</p> + +<p>"I know that, of course, Robert: I have seen +it all along. She is a dear girl, for all her +flightiness. She will say nothing to me. I +hope it will come right. If you can help or +comfort her, I shall be glad." Then she too +went to bed.</p> + +<p>It is unusual for Mabel to be surprised into +such candor. I got a cigar, and went out on +the porch to meditate. Jane thought that +Clarice would tell me things. Yes, I have got +a lot of information. Let me see, I am a +useful domestic animal, and I have a big heart: +that's about the size of it. At this rate, I can +soon write a Cyclopædia. Well, cold facts are +not all there is in life: there are some things +the Cyclopædias fail to tell us about. I don't +regard the last few hours as altogether wasted.</p> + +<p>After this the Princess and I did not talk +much: there seemed to be no need of it. But +she was a new and revised edition of the old +Clarice, wonderfully sweet, and gracious, and +equable; and her look when we met was like +the benediction in answer to prayer, as Longfellow +says. I went about with a solemn feeling, +as if I had just joined the Church. What +does a fellow want with slang, and pipes, and +beer, and cheating other fellows on the street, +when he has such entertainments at home? +And yet it cuts me to the soul to look at her: I +<i>must</i> do something to bring them together. +Pretty soon we went back to New York.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span></p> + +<h3><a name="Against_Earnestness" id="Against_Earnestness"></a>XVIII.</h3> + +<h4>AGAINST EARNESTNESS.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">Jane</span>, and even Mabel, have the idea that I +am of light and shallow nature; and sometimes +I think they are right. It must be so; for your +profound and serious characters have a weakness +for sorrow, and luxuriate in woe—whereas +I object to trouble of any kind, and cannot get +used to it. The house has been like a rural +cemetery for near two months, and it simply +bores me. <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: in the original, Hartman is followed by a comma">Hartman</ins> now prefers to dwell +among the tombs: he has lived these ten years +in a graveyard, so to speak, under a canopy of +funereal gloom, and he thrives on it. He and +Clarice are the most superior persons I know; +and they have gone and got themselves into a +peck, or rather several bushels, of trouble, about +nothing at all. They must like it, or why +should they do it? I doubt if I can ever be +educated up to that point. I have the rude +and simple tastes of a child: sunshine seems +to me better than shade (except during the +heated term), and pleasure more desirable than +pain. I like to be comfortable myself, and to +have every one else so. Imagine Mabel getting +miffed at me, or I at her, over some little two-penny +affair of unadvised expressions! She +often says unkind things to me: if I took an +earnest view of life, and were full of deep +thought and fine feeling, probably I should +have to take her criticisms to heart, and go +away in a hurry and never come back. I sometimes +make blunders worse than that one of +Hartman's, and no harm worth mentioning +ever comes of them—though I do have to be +careful with the Princess. No doubt I am +frivolous and superficial; but people of my sort +appear to get along more easily, and to make +less trouble for themselves and others, than +those whose standards are so much higher. If +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span> +I had the managing of this business, I could +set it right inside a week—or in two days, if +Jim were not so far away. It is merely to say +to him, "Your language was unparliamentary. +It is not etiquette to assume that a lady cares +for you when you have not asked her to. You +have no right to resent her resenting such +unconventional behavior. You owe her an +apology: go and make it like a man, and withdraw +the offensive epithet, term, phrase, clause, +or sentence, which ever it might be." Then I +would say to her, "He meant no harm. How +do you expect a member from Wayback to be +posted on all the usages of metropolitan society? +You ought not to have come down on him so +hard. Let the man say he is sorry, and forgive +him. You were mainly to blame yourself; +but seeing it is you, we'll pass that." Then +I would stand over them like the heavy father +in the plays, and say, "You love each other. +Take her, Jim: take him, Clarice. Bless you, +my children." That is the way it ought to be +done, and that is the way I would fix it if it +concerned common every-day people like myself, +with no pretence to qualities higher than practicability +and common sense—supposing such +people could have got into such a mess, which +I own is improbable. A method that would +answer for them is not so easily applied to these +superfine specimens, who have taken such pains +to build themselves a private Purgatory, and +keep it going on a limited supply of fuel. They +might resent intrusion on their agreeable demesne, +and put up a board with 'No Trespassing' +on it; but then they ought to keep the +place fenced in better: as it is, the smoke and +heat spread too much. They might say, 'If we +enjoy our misery, what right have the rest of +you to interfere?' Yes, but what right have +they to rope in the rest of us, who are not so +addicted to the luxury of grief, and make us +miserable too? That's what it comes to. +'Each man's life is all men's lesson,' and each +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span> +woman's too. Now if our high-toned friends +had kept this particular part of their lives in +manuscript, and not supplied us with copies, +but reserved it for spelling out in secret at their +own leisure, the case would be different. As +it stands, this embroglio is a lesson which I +have got by heart and am tired of: I would like +to set it aside and turn to something more +cheerful. Moreover, as the head of a family I +have duties in the matter, for it affects us all. +I don't mind so much about Jane: she thinks +this is a XX. romance, which the parties chiefly +concerned are conducting in the most approved +manner; if she had one of her own, I suppose +this would be her style—her idea of how the +thing should be done.<a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> It is not mine, however; +far from it. Shall I sit passive, and see +the clouds of care growing heavier about the +wife of my bosom, and the furrows deepening +in that once marble brow? She looks two years +older than she did two months ago, and she +owns it. I have three lovely children: how brief +a space it is since they played in the abandonment +of infant glee! And now their young +existence, too, is darkened. Herbert no longer +slides down the banisters, with his former recklessness, +but sits and looks wistfully at Cousin +Clarice. The change involves a saving in lint +and arnica, but a loss of muscular development. +You see, we are all of the sympathetic—which +is the expensive—temperament: we have not +sense enough to be content each with his or her +own personal affairs, and let the others arrange +their private funerals at their own charge. +There is more truth than I thought in part of +what I told Hartman, that night on the boat.</p> + +<p>This thing must stop. I will have to ask +the Princess if she wants our humble abode to +be a house of mourning much longer. We +might accommodate her in that respect for</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</a></span> +another month or two, but not permanently. +Lovers are so selfish: they don't care if they +upset all your domestic arrangements, and spoil +your harmonies with the discord of their sweet +bells jangled. It ought not to be encouraged, +nor yet allowed.</p> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a>I was wholly mistaken in this, as will appear by the +next chapter. <i>R. T.</i>]</p></div> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="Conspiracy" id="Conspiracy"></a>XIX.</h3> + +<h4>CONSPIRACY.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> summer has not done for any of us what +it ought; quite the reverse. Even I am not in +my usual form, if Mabel and Jane are right. +They had let me alone for some time: last +night they attacked me together—a preconcerted +movement, obviously.</p> + +<p>"Robert, you are pale, almost haggard. You +need a change."</p> + +<p>"Why," said I, "I've just had a change—or +rather several of them. We've been back only +three weeks."</p> + +<p>"You need mountain air: the sea does not +agree with you. And Newport is not what it +used to be."</p> + +<p>"It's a good deal more so, if you mean that; +but I don't know that its increased muchness +has damaged my health to any great extent."</p> + +<p>"You prefer small, remote places, and their +way of life; you know you do. They are more +of a change from town. You bought the house +at Newport for our sakes. I have often feared +you were sacrificing yourself to us—with your +usual disinterestedness, dear."</p> + +<p>"Well, my usual disinterestedness is ready to +be worked again, to any reasonable extent, if +you will say what you're after. But how can I +leave the business now?"</p> + +<p>"O, the business!" (It was Jane this time.) +"That is all very fine, when you don't want +to leave town. But I notice that the business +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span> +never interferes with any of your junketings. +What are your clerks paid for? Can't they attend +to the business?"</p> + +<p>"A fine idea you women have of business, +and a fine success you'd make of it. Jane, +suppose you take charge in Water Street while +I am away."</p> + +<p>"I don't doubt I could do it quite as well as +you, after a little practice. Why, brother, Mr. +Pipeline understands it a great deal better +than you do. Our father, in his later years, +trusted him entirely."</p> + +<p>"Yes, Robert," said Mabel, "and how often +you have assured me that Mr. Pipeline was +absolutely competent and reliable. When we +were married, and a hundred times since, you +explained your carelessness and indifference +about the business by saying that all was right +while old Mr. Pipeline was there: he knew +everything, and kept the whole force to their +work. It was that, you said, which enabled +you to be so much more about the house than +most men could be, and so attentive and satisfactory +as a husband and father."</p> + +<p>She had me there: who would expect a +woman to remember things and bring them up +in this way, so long after? So I tried to turn +it off.</p> + +<p>"O, well, he hasn't gone to Canada yet: the +books seem straight, and the returns are pretty +fair. But it is well for the head of the firm to +look in occasionally, all the same."</p> + +<p>"You do look in occasionally, Robert: no one +can accuse you of neglecting that duty. Would +I have married a man who neglected duty, and +allowed his business to go to ruin, and his +family to come to want? Your conscience may +rest perfectly easy on that score, dear."</p> + +<p>"O, thank you: it does. I've not often allowed +the state of the oil market to interfere +with sleep or appetite, or with my appreciation +of you and the children. Family duties first, +my dear; what so sacred, so primary, as the ties +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span> +of Home? But such virtue is not always duly +prized there. I'm glad you do me justice."</p> + +<p>"I always have, Robert; always. Whatever +Jane and others might say about your levity +and your untimely jests and so forth, I have +steadily maintained that you had a good heart."</p> + +<p>"There, Jane, do you hear that? Mabel +knows, for she is in a position to know."</p> + +<p>"Of course, brother, we are all aware of that. +If you had not that one redeeming trait, I +should have left you long ago, even if I had +had to get married. You admire Artemus +Ward: he had a giant mind, you recollect, but +not always about him. So with your good heart +at times. But we are wandering from the +point. Mabel, you were showing him how he +could go away for a week or two without neglecting +his important duties down town."</p> + +<p>"Why yes, Robert. You have been here +three weeks now, and I am sure you have been +at the store nearly every day. Indeed, when +you <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'was'">were</ins> not at home, or at the club, or somewhere +about town, I doubt not you might be +found in Water Street a good part of the time."</p> + +<p>"Yes," I said with an air of virtuous complacency, +"I believe you are right. I can't +deny it, though it may help your side of the +argument."</p> + +<p>"Well then, you can surely be spared during +a brief absence. And when you return, you +can continue to look in occasionally, as you +say."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps I could, though it is not well to +be too positive. Where do you think I ought +to go?"</p> + +<p>"Well, you are fond of fishing and hunting. +You might go up and spend a week with Mr. +Hartman. You found good sport there, you +said."</p> + +<p>"O yes, there are trout enough, and deer not +far off, he told me. But I was there in May. +And it is not very comfortable at Hodge's, if +you remember."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span> +"But of course this time you would stay +with Mr. Hartman. You refused his invitation +before, and it was hardly civil to such an old +friend."</p> + +<p>"He has a mere bachelor box, my dear, and +I hardly like to thrust myself on him."</p> + +<p>"Why, Robert, I am surprised at you. After +Mr. Hartman spent a fortnight with us at +Newport—and when he has written you twice, +urging you to come. Can't you see that the +poor man is lonely, and really wants you?"</p> + +<p>"Mabel, it would be all very well if it were +like last May—only he and I to be considered. +But here is that blessed entanglement of his +with Clarice—quarrel, or love-making nipped +in the bud, or whatever it was—that complicates +matters. After all the lectures I've had +from you two, I don't want to complicate them +any more, nor to meddle in her affairs, nor +appear to. Suppose I go up there, and he +wants news of her, and anything goes wrong, +or it simply doesn't come right as you expect; +I'd have your reproaches to bear ever after, and +perhaps those of my own conscience. You're +not sending me off simply for my health, or for +a little fishing. If I go to Hartman, the sport +will not be the main item on the programme; +and that every one of us knows perfectly well. +So I don't move till I see my way straight."</p> + +<p>Finding me thus unexpectedly firm, Jane +looked at Mabel, and Mabel looked at Jane, and +there was a pause. You see, in this last deliverance +I had uttered my real mind—or part +of it—and it naturally impressed them.</p> + +<p>My sister's share in the discussion had thus +far been confined to the few efforts at sarcasm +duly credited to her above—let no one say that +I am unjust to Jane. She had been watching +me pretty closely, but I hardly think she saw +anything she was not meant to see. Now she +came to the front, looking very serious—as we +all did, in fact.</p> + +<p>"Well, brother, some things are better understood +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span> +than spoken—from our point of view. +But if you insist on having all in plain words, +and playing, as you call it, with cards on the +table—"</p> + +<p>"Just so," said I. "You use your feminine +tools: I use mine, which are a man's. If I +have to do this piece of work, it must be on my +own conditions and after my own fashion, with +the least risk of misunderstanding."</p> + +<p>"Robert, if this is affectation, you are a +better actor than I thought. But if you really +know no more than we do—"</p> + +<p>This was too much for Mabel. "Now, Jane, +you go too far. Robert likes his little joke, +but he knows when to be serious. Why do you +suspect him so?"</p> + +<p>Jane went on. "Of course it is possible he +may be no deeper in Clarice's confidence than +we: she is very reticent. You mean, brother, +that you will do nothing till she authorizes +you?"</p> + +<p>"Well, as I said, this is her affair. For you, +or me, or anybody else, to meddle in it without +her direction, or permission—unless in case of +obvious extremity—would seem, by all rules +alike ethical and prudential, a delicate and +doubtful proceeding, to say the least."</p> + +<p>"I suppose you are right there. Mabel, you +may as well tell him. Robert, don't think, +from all this preamble, that it is of more importance +than it would otherwise seem. Perhaps +we might as well have told you at once; +but we are only women, you know. Now at +last we are using your tools—the tools you +always use with such manly consistency—candor +and open speech. Tell him, Mabel."</p> + +<p>"Robert dear, Clarice told me to-day that +you were looking badly; she thought you +needed a change. 'Is he not going off for his +fall fishing?' she said."</p> + +<p>"Is that all?"</p> + +<p>"It is a good deal for her," said Jane. "If +you want more, ask her. Are you less concerned +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span> +for her happiness than we are? Must +we arrange all the preliminaries? Brother, if +<i>I</i> could do anything, no fear of consequences or +reproaches should tie my hands: I would do +what is right, and take the chances. If I stood +where you do, I would have this matter settled, +or know why it could not be. I would never +sit idle, and see two such lives spoiled—and all +our hearts broken. O, I know you love them +both. But you are so cautious—unnecessarily +and absurdly so at times, and wedded to useless +diplomacy, when only the plain speech you talk +about is needed. You stand in awe of Clarice +too much: you may wait too long. Forgive +me, Robert; but whatever she may say, you +<i>must</i> see Mr. Hartman before winter."</p> + +<p>I could have embraced Jane, besides forgiving +her slurs on me, which may contain an +element of truth. There is more in her than I +have supposed; and of course what she insists +on is exactly what I have all along meant to +do. But it did not come in handy to say so at +this point. "I'll think it over. You two had +better go to bed: I must go out and smoke."</p> + +<p>"Robert," said Mabel, "don't go out to-night. +You can smoke in the dining-room."</p> + +<p>"No; I'll not take a base advantage of your +present amiable mood. But I tell you what it +is; if you want to get Hartman here in cold +weather you must let us have a snuggery. He +can't do without his tobacco."</p> + +<p>It was a fine night, and I wanted a walk as +well as a smoke. I felt gratified, for this thing +had gone just as I desired. I am not quite so +impulsive as Jane, and I understand the difficulties +as she does not; but my plan has merely +waited for events to give it definite shape and +make it feasible. Certainly I must see Hartman, +and as he can't come here, I must go +there. But I wanted the women to suggest my +going; that divides the responsibility, and gives +them a hand in the game. I would have had +to propose it myself within a week or so, if they +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</a></span> +had not spoken. But the Princess knows what +she is about, and what is fit and proper. It +may seem strange that she should speak to +Mabel instead of to me; but she will say what +she has to say to me before I start. In fact, +I'll not start till she does—how could I? It is +her business I am going on, with just enough of +my own to give it a color. I'll write to Jim at +once, to ask when he wants me: the mails are +slow up there, and it may be a week before his +answer comes. That will give me time to get +my instructions, and not be in any unseemly +haste to seek them either. So far, so good; but +there is more to be done, and delicate work too, +such as will bear no scamping. It is the biggest +contract you ever undertook, R. T., and +you must make a neat job of it.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="Apology_for_Lying" id="Apology_for_Lying"></a>XX.</h3> + +<h4>APOLOGY FOR LYING.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">If</span> you do not understand my waiting for +Mabel and the girls to prompt this move, and +allowing them to urge it against my apparent +reluctance, I ascribe this failure on your part +to lack of experience, rather than to any deeper +deficiency. Some men like to make a parade +of independence, and to do—or pretend to do—everything +of themselves, without consulting or +considering their womankind. But such are +not the sort I choose my friends from; for I +have been accustomed to regard both brain and +heart as desirable appurtenances to a man. +There is little Bruteling, at the club, who would +like to be considered a man of the world—but +I can't waste space or time on him. And I +have met family men even—but I don't meet +them more than once if I can help it—who +regard their wives and sisters as playthings, +dolls, upper-class servants, not to be trusted, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</a></span> +taken into their confidence, or treated with +any real respect. Such heresies have no place +under a Christian civilization, which has exalted +Woman to her true rank as the equal and +helpmeet of Man, the object of his tenderest +affections and most loyal services. It is in his +domestic life that one's true character is shown; +and Home is not only the dearest place on +earth to me and to every one whose head is +level, but the stage on which his talents and +qualities are best brought out.</p> + +<p>You think that I don't practice what I +preach; that I introduce within those sacred +precincts too much of play-acting and small +diplomacy, as Jane says; that even at this +moment my thoughts and intentions in a matter +which concerns us all are imperfectly revealed +to my nearest and dearest? Ah, that is owing +to the difference between the sexes, and to the +singular lines on which the Sex was constructed, +mentally speaking. I don't wish to criticize +the Architect's plans, but it seems to me I +could suggest improvements which might have +simplified relations, and avoided much embarrassment. +The difficulty is that women, as a +rule, can neither use nor appreciate Frankness. +Just after I was married, I thought it was only +the fair thing to tell Mabel about several girls +I had been sweet on before I knew her. Would +you believe it, she burst into tears, and upbraided +me with my brutality; and she brings +up that ill-advised disclosure against me to this +day. I know several ladies who will not lie, +under ordinary circumstances—not for the mere +pleasure of it, at least; Clarice, for instance, +and Jane, I believe; but not one who will tell +the whole truth, or forgive you for telling it. +Well, well, we have to take them as they are, +and make the best of them: they have other +redeeming traits, as Jane says of me. In +heaven these inequalities will be done away, +and one can afford to speak out—at least I hope +so. But meantime you can see how these +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</a></span> +feminine peculiarities hamper a man, and check +his natural candor, and impose on him a wholly +new, or at least a hugely modified, ethical code. +If I were to follow my original bent, which +was uncommonly direct and guileless, I should +be in hot water all the time. It is this struggle +between nature and—well, I can hardly call it +grace; let us say necessity, or environment—which +is making me bald, and fat, and aging +me so fast. You have seen, in the course of +this narrative, what scrapes I have gotten into +by speaking before I stopped to think, and +blurting out the simple truth. I was once as +honest as they are ever made—and for practical +and domestic uses nearly an idiot. I have been +obliged, actually forced, to deny myself the indulgence +of a virtue, and diligently to cultivate +the opposite vice. The preachers don't know +everything: I could give them points. I don't +say I have succeeded remarkably, and the exercise +has been deeply painful to me; but it was +absolutely essential, if I was to be fit for the +family circle, and able to do or get any good +in this imperfect world. There is no escape, +unless you live in a hermitage like Hartman. +You may have noticed that my loved ones +sometimes appear to treat me with less than +absolute respect and confidence: it is the result +of this life-conflict, which has left me with a +character mixed, and in one respect wrecked. +But they would think much worse of me than +they do if I told them the truth, the whole +truth, and nothing but the truth, on all occasions. +Thus I might—and then again I might +not—go to our poor Princess, and say, "Clarice, +Mabel and Jane think I ought to see Hartman. +I think so too, and they report you as concurring +in the verdict. This is delicately put +under cover of my health and the fall fishing; +but we all know that you and Jim want looking +after more than I do, and that bigger game +than trout is to be caught. Tell me what you +want me to say to him and do with him, and I +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</a></span> +will start at once." Some women might stand +that, possibly, but not the ones I am used to: +such would be eminently the way not to attain +my benevolent end. No, no; you can do nothing +in such cases without finesse, as Jim calls +it, and strategy, and tact, and management; +and if you have not these gifts by nature, you +must acquire them, whatever they may cost. +I still hold to my principles; but I don't propose +to run them into the ground. In morality, as +elsewhere, a little too much is apt to be worse +than much too little; and theory and practice +are very different things, not to be rashly +confounded. You want to hold the right +theories, and then to live as near them as depraved +mundane conditions will allow. The +manly weapons of which Jane spoke so scornfully +last night are the right ones—when you +can use them. In the case in hand, to tell all I +know would have been at any time, and would +still be, impossible and ruinous. Hartman is +not so far out on some points: as he says, we +did not arrange the present scheme of things, +and could not be proud of it if we had.</p> + +<p>You may say, and I could not deny, that my +diplomacy, such as it is, is not always employed +for the benefit of women <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'only' with no period">only</ins>. Hartman is a luminous +and transparent soul—too much so for +his own good: why did I practise occasionally on +him? I can explain that best on general principles.</p> + +<p>In a world a majority of whose inhabitants are +female, demoralization has naturally extended +far and wide, till strict veracity has become +unpractical. The first falsehood (after the serpent's) +must have been humiliating to him who +uttered it, and a fatal example to those who +heard; but mankind soon grew used to the new +fashion. I pass over the rude barbarian ages, +whose gross and inartistic lying offers no claim +to respectful and sympathetic interest, and no +excuse but the lame one of selfish depravity, +common to the race. But with the inroads of +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</a></span> +civilization Life became complex, and Truth +was found too simple and rigid to fit with all +its varied intricacies. That is, when Truth <i>is</i> +simple. "Don't you think my baby beautiful?" +demands a fond parent. "No, I don't: far +from it." That is the truth; but its naked +and repulsive brutality demands to be clothed +with the garb of humane and graceful +fiction. "Prisoner at the bar, are you guilty +or not guilty?" He is guilty, of course; but if +he says so, it is a dead give-away. In this case +indeed the interests of Truth are one with those +of Society, though not of the prisoner; but often +it is different. The basis of ethics, our moralists +say, is as largely utilitarian as it is ideal. +If so, is there any special sacredness about cold +facts, that they should get up on end and demand +to be published everywhere continually? +Truth ought to be modest, and not claim all +the observances and honors, seeing there are so +many other deities whom we poor mortals are +no less bound to worship. When Grotius' wife +lied to the policeman about her husband's +whereabouts, the lie was an act of piety, whereas +truthtelling would have been murderous +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'infielity'">infidelity</ins>. If the minions of the law were after +me, would I thank Mabel and Jane and Herbert +for telling them which way I had gone? There +is no more aggravated nuisance than he who +insists on exposing all he knows at all times +and places—as I used to do before I learned +these tricks. Look at poor Hartman, ejecting +his honest backwoods thought without asking +whether it was a wise and decent offering to +his small but highly select audience; and see +what trouble he has brought on himself and all +of us thereby.</p> + +<p>This outspokenness is often mere self-indulgence. +Take me, for instance: to this day, in +spite of all the lessons I have had, it is far +easier and pleasanter for me to tell the truth +than not. People of this temperament must +learn to put a check on nature. Self-indulgence +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</a></span> +is bad, all agree, and self-denial useful +and necessary. This is the way virtues clash +and collide. I say, confound such a world. +What is a plain man to do in it? As the poet +sings, the <i>Summum Bonum</i> belongs in heaven, +and you can't expect to get at it here, but +must simply do the best you can, which is +generally not very good. And then, as another +poet puts it, very likely nobody will appreciate +your efforts, but you will get cuffed for them: +we are punished for our purest deeds, and so +forth.—But this is trenching on Hartman's +province. It is well that I should think all +this out now: I can talk it over with him +before we get to business. He will want sympathy +with his notions about the depravity of +things in general, and that will smooth the +way, and make him willing to open up on the +specific woe that lies nearest.</p> + +<p>To return to our muttons. The guilt of +duplicity has lain heavy on my conscience for +two months, but how can I help it? I don't +so much mind keeping what I know from +Mabel and Jane, for it is not their affair. But +it is Clarice's affair—most eminently so—and I +had promised solemnly to tell her at once when +I knew or thought of anything that concerned +her. It was obviously impossible to keep my +promise in this case—not on my account, but +on hers. It will not be easy to tell even Jim +that I overheard their last colloquy, and witnessed +the tragical parting scene: I'll have to +watch my opportunities, and spring that on +him just at the right moment, when it will +have the best effect. Now any one who knows +Clarice must see that to tell her this would +be to take the most awful risks, and probably +to destroy all chance of reconciling them; that +is level to the meanest apprehension, I judge. +No sir: it can't be done till I have seen Jim, +and got things in train. Properly handled, +the secret—that is, my possession of it, which +is a second secret, almost as weighty as the +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</a></span> +original one—may be a tool to manage both +these intractable subjects with, and bring them +to terms: in a fool's hands, and thrown about +promiscuously, it would be an infernal machine +to blow us up. No: I'll take whatever guilt +there is, rather than hurt Clarice now and +hereafter. Do you want to know my opinion +of a man who is always and only thinking +about keeping his hands clean and his conscience +at peace, so that he can't do a little +lying—or it might be other sinning—on adequate +occasion, to serve his friends or a good +cause? I think he is a cad, sir—a low-minded +cad; and of such is not the kingdom of heaven. +It may not occur every day: it might not do to +insert in the text-books as a rule; but once in a +while there may be better businesses than saving +one's soul and keeping one's conscience void +of offense.<a name="FNanchor_2_2" id="FNanchor_2_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a></p> + +<p>I am arguing against my own nature in all +this. In my heart I love Truth above all +things, and follow and serve her with a devotion +that is probably exaggerated. But I can't +help seeing that there are two kinds of her. +When she is simple and obvious, she seems to +reside in bare facts, which we may easily respect +too much, for what are they but blackguard +carnalities? Preraphaelitism in art, +Realism in literature, might be all very well +if they would keep their place—which is in +the kitchen. Some may want pots and pans, +and scullions, and pigs' feet, and ribs of beef +described. I don't myself; but it is a free +country, and vivid and accurate portraiture of +these delicacies may constitute the main charm +of literature for some readers, possibly. But +Realism wants to take its pots and pans into +the parlor: it always overdoes things. "A +daisy by the river's brim a yellow daisy was +to him, and it was nothing more." Well,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</a></span> +what else should it be?—But perhaps I have +not got that right. Pass on to our next head.</p> + +<p>Truth is not always simple—by no means +always. Often she is highly complex, and as +much mixed as I was just now; and then you +don't know where she is, or what she is, and +it gets to be all guesswork. One says, Here, +and another says, There: the philosophers upset +each other's schemes in turn, the theologians +hurl reciprocal excommunications, the +scientists of to-day laugh at those of last year. +If Pilate meant it this way, we owe him some +sympathy and respect. "Speak the truth and +shame the devil," they say. Bah! [I think +this expletive ought to be spelt <i>Baa</i>.] When +you know what the truth is, you are more +likely to shame your friends, and become obnoxious +and ridiculous. And in most cases +you don't know, and if you suppose you do, +you are mistaken. I have thought out a way +of approximating Truth on a large scale, and +more nearly than most succeed in doing; but +this is a big topic, and I had better keep it to +entertain Hartman with.</p> + +<p>O yes; I was to explain why I sometimes use +roundabout methods even with him. If you +tell all you know to everyone you meet, or disclose +your real character, it will generally be a +waste of good material which might better be +economized. By the way, what <i>is</i> my real +character? How should I know? One sees +one side of it, another another. I see all that +have turned up yet, but there may be many +more, thus far latent; and how am I to harmonize +them all, and take the average of a +succession of phenomena? I am complex, like +Truth.</p> + +<p>But I must not interrupt myself any more. +Let us fall back on the utilitarian basis of +ethics. You see, if I had talked like this to +Jim when we met last May, he would have put +himself on guard and begun to study me, +whereas I wanted to draw him out—as I did. +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</a></span> +I have no objection to people studying me +when I don't care to study them; but when +there is anything to be done for them you have +got to understand them first, and to this end +it is best to appear simple and not distract their +minds from the contemplation and disclosure +of their own qualities: you can play on their +vanity if your own does not stand in the road. +Hartman has a fine mind, but in his innocent +rural way he took for granted that I had stood +still since we were together at college. So I +played to his lead, and pretended, for instance, +to know nothing about poetry; whereas, as you +must have noticed, I am pretty well read, and +my memory is remarkably copious and accurate. +(Clarice did indeed say that I sometimes got +the lines wrong; but what she meant was that +the passages I quoted in my well-meant efforts +to console her were of too gay a character for +her melancholy mood.)</p> + +<p>In this way I secured Jim's regard and confidence, +which I am using for his good: if I +had put myself forward, and been anxious to +impress him with my importance, he might +have looked on me with the cynical indifference +which is all the feeling he can afford to most +people, and I should never have got him out of +the woods. So when I was taking him to +Newport, I said what it was desirable to say, +and omitted what was not: how else should a +rational man talk? And that first night there, +I took the tone that he required, as a host is +bound to do: sacred are the duties of christian +hospitality. Poor Jim is as good as a play; he +takes Life in such dead earnest, and expects +his friends to be rampant idealists too: so I +mounted the high horse for once to gratify him. +He will never forget that, nor cease to respect +me accordingly: he thinks I was serious then, +and joking at all other times. You and I of +course understand that Life is but a series of +appearances; and if I seem to contradict myself, +to say one thing on one page and its opposite +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</a></span> +on <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'the the'">the</ins> next, I am only reporting the +various phases assumed by facts without and +moods within. 'The shield is <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: the original has no period following 'gold'">gold</ins>.' 'No, it is +silver.' Well, shall we fight about that? +Probably it is both. A thing may be black in +one light, and white in another, for what I +know. Of all fools the positive philosophers +seem to me the worst; and the most abject +kind of conceit is that of alleged consistency. +Why will you insist on a definiteness which has +so little place in nature? The world is a +chameleon, and you and I are smaller copies +of it.</p> + +<p>I must try to explain all this to Hartman, and +make him see that it is time he took on another +color. He has been down in the depths all this +while; now let him get up on the heights. +But he would never do it of himself, nor without +the management of a more practical mind. +If I took things as he does, I should be tempted +to say, "You monumental idiot, to fling a rash +word at a girl as proud as Lucifer, and then to +take her hasty repartee as a final verdict from +doomsday book!" Happily there is one person +around with sense enough to see that both +these moon-struck babes are forgivable, and +therefore capable of such bliss as may be found +in a world of which the best to be said is that +we are in very small measure responsible for it. +They were both foolish, of course; but what +proportion does their joint offence bear to their +punishment—and ours? That is the Order of +Things—this blessed and beautiful Kosmos.</p> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_2" id="Footnote_2_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></a>[Note. The unwary reader may possibly need to +be reminded that R. T. is not to be taken too seriously, +especially in this his Apology for +Lying.—<i>Pub.</i>]</p></div> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</a></span></p> + +<h3><a name="Jane_to_the_Rescue" id="Jane_to_the_Rescue"></a>XXI.</h3> + +<h4>JANE TO THE RESCUE.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">It</span> may seem unfeeling in me to indulge in +dissertations like the above at so critical a +juncture: but they serve to fill the time while +I am waiting for marching orders. I have +written to Jim, and that is all I can do at +present. Jane thinks differently: she ought to +have been a man, she is so fond of action. She +got me in a corner to-day.</p> + +<p>"Well, brother?"</p> + +<p>"Well, Jane?"</p> + +<p>"What have you done?"</p> + +<p>"Done? what should I do?"</p> + +<p>"Use a man's tools, that you are so fond of; +plain speech, if no more. Have you spoken +to Clarice yet?"</p> + +<p>"No: why should I speak to her? She spoke +to Mabel, not to me."</p> + +<p>"Robert, are you ever sincere in anything? +When <i>I</i> profess affection for people, I am ready +to serve them at their need."</p> + +<p>"So am I, and Clarice knows it. She is perfectly +aware that I am ready to do this thing, +or any other thing within my power, for her at +any time. It is easy for her to say what she +wants."</p> + +<p>"Brother, you are <i>so</i> stupid! Don't you +know that it is excessively difficult for her to +allude, however remotely, to a matter like this? +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: 'Say with a quotation mark">Say</ins> what she wants, she would die first. Do +you desire to wait for that? She is not like +the rest of us; and a woman is not like a man. +<i>You</i> could talk for a week, and turn your +whole mind inside out, with no fatigue—except +to your audience; but the faintest reference to +what I need not name would cost her a painful +effort. I told you it was a great thing for her +to say what she did to Mabel. That ought to +have been enough for you."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</a></span> +"How could it be enough? Do try to talk +sense now, Jane. How can I go off blindly +on a fool's errand—in her interest, but without +commission or instructions?"</p> + +<p>"Ask her for them, then. It is ungenerous +to put on her the burden of opening the subject. +She is doubtless waiting for you to speak, +and wondering at your slackness."</p> + +<p>"Hanged if I can understand that. How +many times have you lectured me about showing +her proper respect, and restraining my native +coarseness, and what not; and now you want +me to go to her like a trooper or a grand inquisitor, +and ask about the state of her feelings +toward Hartman. I can't do it, Jane. When +you get into such a scrape, I might try it, if +you insisted—though it would go against me, +as Sir Lancelot said: then you could see how +you liked it. Clarice wouldn't like it at all; +and she has deserved better things of me than +that."</p> + +<p>"She <i>has</i> deserved better things of you than +she is getting. I thought you loved her as I +do. So that was only one of your pretences?"</p> + +<p>"I love her too well to harass her; to intrude +upon her solitude when she does not want me; +to pry into her affairs without her consent, and +destroy what chance there is that she may call +me when she is ready."</p> + +<p>"She will never be ready, unless we, that are +her first friends, come to her aid against her +own pride and shyness. You think me intrusive—a +meddlesome old maid, prying into +what does not concern me: but, brother, she +and Mr. Hartman were made for one another. +They were deeply interested, both of them—I +could see it plainly: it would have been settled +in a few days more, if that wretched misunderstanding +had not occurred. <i>He</i> may get over +it; he is a man, though he did not seem to be +that kind. But she—she is of the deep, and +silent, and constant type: she will nurse this +hurt till it kills her. I love her, Robert; she +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</a></span> +has nobody but us. She never knew a thing +like this before; it is her first experience. +Other men to her were playthings, or bores; +she had no friend among them but you. You +cannot fancy how hard it is for her; harder far +than for a younger girl. She is so helpless, for +all her pride—her pride makes her more helpless +to speak or act. If I could only help her, +now—"</p> + +<p>And here, to my amazement, my stately +sister broke down in a passion of tears and +sobs: I never knew her do such a thing before. +I patted, and petted, and soothed her, and did +all that a man of humanity and experience +does in such cases. I shall apply for the title, +Consoler of Feminine Woes, since the business +of the office comes to me. It will be Mabel +next, I suppose, and then this thing must stop, +unless we begin the round afresh. Clarice +may naturally want to be comforted once or +twice more; but I hope soon to remove all +further occasion for that. Jane and I have not +been like this since we were children.</p> + +<p>"There, there. Sister dear, I would knock +any man down, and insult any woman, who said +of you what you just said of yourself. You are +not an old maid, and you might be a society +leader if you cared for it: plenty of women are +who have more years and less looks and manners +and brains than you. You are as far as possible +from a meddler: your fault is that you keep +too much to yourself. I am sure Clarice would +be touched and flattered by your interest in +her: I should, if you took a quarter as much +in me. Do you know, I never saw you look so +well, or do yourself such credit—till now—as +night before last. My heart said amen to every +word you uttered, even when you were girding +at me; for you thought I deserved it, and in +part I did. I will have no more secrets from +you—except such as I have no right to impart. +If you will, we shall be friends now, and work +together in this thing. You always seemed to +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</a></span> +despise me, Jane; and it is tedious when the +affection is all on one side."</p> + +<p>"Yes: you used to have enough of that with +Clarice."</p> + +<p>She was feeling better now. As I may have +said on some previous occasion, a little judicious +management will do great things for a woman. +I must keep this up if I can, and make appropriate +responses to all her remarks. I have +been too hard on Jane in the past. After all, +the tie between brother and sister is a peculiar +one—few more so; and, except for the Princess, +who is such only by adoption, each of us is all +the other has got in that line. Perhaps I ought +to have thought of this earlier.</p> + +<p>"Clarice appreciates my virtues better now, +as I hope you will. But I was going to tell +you: I am of one mind and heart with you +about this, dear. I have always meant to see +Hartman this fall, of course; but it was better +that the suggestion should come from Mabel, +you see."</p> + +<p>"You do tangle things up so unnecessarily, +Robert. Mabel would have approved of anything +you proposed, as a matter of course."</p> + +<p>"Well, my dear, I have no desire to be a +dictator in the house, like some men. You all +have interests and rights to be respected, and I +want you to have your say."</p> + +<p>"We would have it more cheerfully if you +would take yours—out plainly, in a man's way, +you know. Have you written Mr. Hartman?"</p> + +<p>"Certainly: that same night, and asked if +he wanted me next week. That was simple +enough. I'm not afraid of <i>him</i>."</p> + +<p>"I can't see why you should be so afraid of +Clarice. You've known her all her life, and +she is only ten years younger than you. If +she were but seventeen, now, and a new acquaintance, +I might understand it. You <i>must</i> +have it out with her, Robert. If I adopt her +style, perhaps you will do as I wish. Remember, +we are to work together in this thing, and +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</a></span> +you are of one mind and heart with me about +it; so you must let me direct you. Mind, +now!"</p> + +<p>I stared: it was an imitation, gentle and +subdued indeed, of the Princess as she was in +her days of glory—not so long ago, alas!—before +the rains descended and the winds blew and +the storm beat upon her house of life: the +tones were there, and a hint of the arch looks. +Where did Jane learn these tricks? And what +has come over her? A maiden, even of her +years, is hardly warmed to life by a few compliments +and caresses from her own mother's +son. Can Hartman have waked her up too? +She laughed in my face.</p> + +<p>"If our plot succeeds, you may be thrown +on my society again; and as you are going to +be so affectionate, I must fill Clarice's place as +well as I can. Meantime, you had better let +me guide you; indeed you had."</p> + +<p>"That may be; only don't drive me too hard, +please. I'm not what I once was: all these +emotions are too many for me. Where do you +propose to guide me to?"</p> + +<p>"To Clarice. Will you come now?"</p> + +<p>"Scarcely: a nice reception we should get. +This is not a case where two are better far than +one. And then it would be three presently, +which never answers—when she is one of them. +I would rather go alone, and much rather not +at all. Guide me somewhere else, sweet sister: +or you can go yourself, if you like. But I +don't see why she should stand on ceremony +with me."</p> + +<p>"Not with you, but with her own heart—a +more recent acquaintance, and much more +formidable."</p> + +<p>"But that is there all the same, whether I +go to her or she comes to me."</p> + +<p>"Yes, but—can't you see? She dislikes to +take the initiative."</p> + +<p>"So do I. According to you, she has taken +it already."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</a></span> +"Yes, and once is enough. You are so slow, +Robert: you require so much teaching."</p> + +<p>"I know. But don't despair: Hartman says +you have improved me a heap, between you. +You see, the cases are different. None of you +are the least afraid of me—I should be sorry if +you were. But I am afraid of you: you are +such superior beings. You know you are: you +look on my masculine dulness with contempt; +and so do I. It is my deep and loyal respect +for a woman—which you said I would never +learn. Jane, you hurt me then; you have hurt +me often. I would have been fonder of you—showed +it more, I mean; but affection, repulsed, +shrank into the shell of indifference. Be kind, +now, and I will do anything you say. You see, +I <i>am</i> getting on."</p> + +<p>"I wish you would get on toward the business +in hand. A nice time Clarice must have +had with you. I can see now why she had to +keep so tight a rein on you, and to rule you by +fear. Will you speak to her, or will you not?"</p> + +<p>"Of course I will, before I go. We can't +hear from Jim for several days yet. She will +probably come to me before that. If not, I'll +have to go to her. Jane, there are some things +that you don't understand, and I can't explain."</p> + +<p>"Queer things they must be, then. I wonder +that a man should be such a coward."</p> + +<p>"If you were a man, you wouldn't. I don't +care to display my courage at home, sister. +You are harder than Clarice. You want me +to be all around the circle at once, and whatever +I do, you find fault. My dear, ever since +you spoke, I have been hanging about, to give +her a chance to say what she wants. How can +I stride up to her and shout, 'Here, tell me what +to say to your runaway lover'? She knows all +about it, if you don't. I'll wait to-morrow +after breakfast; tell her so, if you will. She +has only to look at me, and I'll ask her, if she +wishes. Then you can scold me to your heart's +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</a></span> +content for making a mess of it, and being +rough and brutal and stupid. Jane, I am +doing the best I can. If I could put myself +absolutely into your hands, and be but a voice +and body to your mind, it might be an improvement; +but unhappily that is not feasible +at present. Will what I propose answer?"</p> + +<p>"Perhaps: I will see. I may have been unjust +to you, Robert: you are different from +most men, and not easy to understand: you +like to let part of you pass for the whole. +Whether you are so easy to rule as you pretend +to be, I am not sure yet. Well, there is time +to find out. If you live by your professions, +well and good. Kiss me, dear; good-night."</p> + +<p>Since Jane has panned out in this unexpected +way, I wish I could tell her the Secret: +she might give me some points. But that is +impossible—unthinkable, as they say at Concord. +Clarice would never forgive me: that +would be bad, but not the worst. It would be +disloyal to her—distinctly so. That I've never +been yet, and I'm too old to begin now. There +may be cases in which the end justifies the +means, but this is not one of them. No: I +must dree this weird (if that is the expression), +and hoe this row, all by myself. If I had been +bred in the east, I should be tempted to say it +was a contumelious responsibility. The next +time you want to get into difficulties with a +lady, James Hartman, you must do it on some +other premises than mine.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</a></span></p> + +<h3><a name="An_Ordeal" id="An_Ordeal"></a>XXII.</h3> + +<h4>AN ORDEAL.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">Next</span> morning I was nosing about in the +library, pretending to be looking for a book, +when Clarice came to me and said, "I don't +think what you want is here. Leave business +this afternoon, and take me to the Park."</p> + +<p>If she were to say, "Leave business this year, +and take me to Europe, or to Madagascar," I +should do it: she would have to arrange the +matter with Mabel, but that she could do without +difficulty, I have not the least doubt. It +would be a loss to Water Street, and my departure +would be felt in business circles generally; +but they would have to stand it as they +might. In this case, however, no heavy sacrifice +was involved: for a few hours, or days, or +weeks, Pipeline, as Mabel says, can conduct +the old stand well enough. What it needs is +the feeling that a master mind presides over its +destinies, though from such a distance as Newport +or the Wayback woods.</p> + +<p>We agreed on an hour—that is, she told me +to be at the door at two—and I went down +town, feeling relieved. It is much better for +Clarice to take the responsibility of opening +communications, and I wish she would conduct +the whole interview, like a major-general with +his aid-de-camp or a master plumber sending +out his apprentices to mend the pipes—leaving +me only to take notes of instructions. But +that is too much to expect. It is a delicate +task before me, and my talents for such (according +to the ladies), are not so eminent that I +should be anxious to overwork them. I can +manage a man, and some women perhaps; but +to catechize and cross-examine her on a subject +as to which pride, and honor, and modesty lock +a girl's lips—I don't see how I can do it, even +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</a></span> +with her consent. I would rather smoke my +pipe through a powder mill than hurt you, my +poor Princess: my clumsy fingers were never +made to play about your heartstrings.</p> + +<p>I dropped in at Trinity on my way, and put +up a prayer; it was that she might make it easy +for herself, and for me, though that is a minor +matter—keep the game in her own hands, and +tell enough to serve her ambassador's need, +without his questioning.</p> + +<p>She did not keep me waiting: she never had +that vice. The change in her is not for casual +eyes to see. Outwardly, I have fallen off more +than she has; in fact, I have lost three pounds +in these last two months. Many a hat was +raised, many an envious glance turned toward +me, as we spun up the avenue. The fellows at +the club, and elsewhere, used to pester me to +introduce them, and I gratified them for a +while, till she told me she could not have all +my acquaintances coming to call, and made +Mabel say I must leave off bringing men home +to dinner. She never was a coquette; but what +is a girl so endowed to do? They would force +themselves on her, by dozens, by scores, by hundreds: +they overflowed the house and took up +all her time; they crowded her life, until she +could stand it no longer and stopped it. That +is why we live so quietly of late: it is a great +improvement. Now, they gaze on her from +afar: yet she never had difficulty with any of +them—till August, alas. That was my fault, +for bringing in a wild man from the woods, +who could not be counted on or ruled like the +rest, but would flop around in his uncircumcised +way and break things. I should never forgive +myself for that, if I did not hope to get matters +right—and more so than they ever were, for her.</p> + +<p>For a time we drove on silently. Then of a +sudden, without looking at me, she said very +quietly, "Jane told me you wanted to see me, +Robert."</p> + +<p>O Lord, is this to be the shape of it after all? +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</a></span> +Well, what must be must, and I will do my +stint as a man may. "Did she say nothing +else?"</p> + +<p>"That you were afraid to come to me. Have +I been so harsh with you, or so terrible of late?" +Her tone was half arch, half reproachful.</p> + +<p>"No, no; far from it. But you know how it +is, Clarice. Your trouble is ours, and I am a +poor surgeon. How can I put a knife into the +wound? I wish it were mine, and mine only."</p> + +<p>"I have brought trouble on you all, brother. +I ought to have gone away."</p> + +<p>"Never; do you think Mabel and Jane would +allow that, any more than I? We would all +rather break our hearts together, if that need +be, than have you among strangers now: it +would be worse for us, no less than for you. +When you are happy you may leave us; not till +then."</p> + +<p>"I know. You love me, here, and bear with +me, and for me—though I don't deserve it."</p> + +<p>"Don't say that—anything but that. My +Princess deserves everything—and by Jove, she +shall have it. If I knew exactly what she +wanted, now—"</p> + +<p>All this time we had to be smiling and bowing +right and left. You can't make pretty +speeches under such circumstances, or do delicate +work. I had turned from the main drive, +but it was only a little better.</p> + +<p>"Let us get out of this, Robert. There are +too many people: we can't talk here."</p> + +<p>We went by streets which you must know, if +you are accustomed to have this kind of business +on hand. I trust you are not: a little of +it goes a long way. At last we got into a +quieter, semi-rural region. Find it out for +yourself, if you can: I am not going to tell you +the exact spots made sacred by these confidences. +Meantime I had been thinking what +to say, and it came out with a rush. It is a +little easier when you put the third person for +the second—yes, that is a good idea.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</a></span> +"If I were sure just what she wanted, she +should have that thing, if there is any power in +the human will. But I am clumsy, and thick-headed, +and make blunders—you have often +said so, Clarice, and so has Jane, and even +Mabel. She I speak of is of finer clay than +others. Her nature has its own laws, which I +can understand only very imperfectly. Yes, +you know it is so: you have told me that too. +O, she need not mind me, nor consider me in +the least. I am afraid only of offending or +hurting her: I only want to help and serve her, +if I can. If she could look on me just as a tool +to be used, an instrument in case she desired +to produce certain sounds—I wish I were more +capable of harmony—as a medium +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'possibly—But'">possibly—. But</ins> +she will not <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'speak perhaps'">speak—perhaps</ins> she cannot. +And how can I question her, as if from vulgar +curiosity? What right have I?"</p> + +<p>Her eyes were wet now, under her veil: I +could see it, though nobody else could; and +we were on a country road.</p> + +<p>"Robert, you are the best and dearest man +in the world."</p> + +<p>"Hardly that. But I am proud of your +approval, and will try to earn it. I have not +earned it yet, you know."</p> + +<p>"Brother, you rate me too high, and—and +her you speak of. What if she had what she +wanted within reach, and rudely thrust it +away?"</p> + +<p>"But she did not do that, dear: she could +not. I am sure it is there yet, if she would +deign to take it."</p> + +<p>"If that were certain, she would have others +than herself to think of. So long as it was or +might be merely herself, what could she do?"</p> + +<p>I began to see light now. "There <i>are</i> others; +and though they are of less consequence, her +generous heart would not let them suffer. +Suppose to one of them this meant life or +death, hope or despair, use or uselessness. +Suppose one not like most of us, but simple, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</a></span> +sincere, and noble, unversed in the world's ways +and little loving them, with a great heart early +clouded and a strong mind warped thereby, +had begun to pin his faith to her I speak of, +and in her eyes to see reconciliation to earth +and heaven; and then for one rash word, one +casual misconception such as comes between +any of us, had fancied the cup of promise +snatched away, and in his misjudging innocence +gone back to his cave of gloom, thinking +himself doomed to a state worse than that from +which he had been nearly rescued. Would +she let him stay there forever?"</p> + +<p>"I suppose she ought not—if she could help +it. It is well he has better friends than she +has proved. But I cannot talk of this: indeed +I cannot. It may be weak and foolish, but I +cannot. You must do what you have to do in +your own way.—No, I will not be such a +coward, and so basely ungrateful. O, I understand +your position, Robert. You will have to +question me: I am sorry, but it is the only +way. Ask what you absolutely need to know +for your own guidance—I know you will ask +no more—and I will try to answer."</p> + +<p>I groaned; and then I could have choked +myself. Must my despicable selfishness add to +her burdens? What are my feelings, my petty +reluctance, to her interests? Have I not set +myself aside? Are you not man enough, Robert +T., to put a few civil queries to a lady, +when she has just given you express permission, +and even directed you to do so? The less you +sneer at cads after this, the better.—I was so +long making up my mind to it that the poor +girl had to speak again.</p> + +<p>"I am very sorry, brother. It is too bad to +burden you so. If I could save you the trouble, +I would, indeed. O, I appreciate your motives, +and your delicacy, and all your efforts to shield +and spare me—never fancy that I did not, I +have made more trouble than I am worth. If +I could only die, and end it all!"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</a></span> +This, as you may imagine, put a speedy end +to my shilly-shallying. "That would end it +all, with a vengeance. Some other people of +my acquaintance would want to die then too—or +before. Dearest Clarice, don't talk so. Two +things I can't bear—your lowering yourself like +this, and your exalting me. I am a hound: if +I were half a man, I'd have made it easier for +you. It is only that I distrust my own ability, +my own penetration, my own judgment. I +ought not to need any more instructions—but +this business is so important, and I'm afraid of +making a mess of it."</p> + +<p>"Dear Robert, you lay too much stress on +the opinion I pretended to have of you, in days +when I only half knew you and thought far too +much of myself and too little of others. I +know better now. You have the insight of +sympathy: your heart will help your head. +You will not need to ask me many questions; +you can read between the lines."</p> + +<p>"I will try. You need not answer in words +when you don't want to: just move your head +a little, and let me see your eyes. You see, in +view of my stupidity, the less risks we take +the better: I must have some things down in +black and white. Well then: you said something +to Mabel about my health, and the fall +fishing?"</p> + +<p>"Yes. You do need a change; I have had +you on my conscience all this while. It is all +my doing; and you love me so." Her hand +stole into mine.</p> + +<p>"That is certainly so. Do you know where +I would go if left to myself—if these last months +were blotted from the calendar?"</p> + +<p>"Of course. Is it necessary to go through +all these formalities?"</p> + +<p>"I think so: forgive me, dear. I must not +trust my intuitions too far: they are not as fine +as yours.—You know what construction might +be put on my going there now?—Not by the +outside world; it has nothing to do with this +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</a></span> +business, happily. But by any of us; and more +especially by—ah—by him?"</p> + +<p>Her face was set now, her lips closed tight; +but she nodded.</p> + +<p>"You have no word to send, I suppose?—No, +of course not: how could you? Then if +he asks, or if it is necessary to tell him about +you, as of course it will be, I am to say merely +what I think, so that you are nowise +responsible?—Yes, +I see. But the main thing to do +there is to make observations, and bring my +report to you?—Certainly: he must put himself +on record before you do, if this is to go on. +<i>If?</i> Of course it will: it shall be all right, my +dear child. Then it follows that I can't bring +him back with me?—Why no: he must bide +his time, and fulfil his penance. That is all, I +believe: the examination—or the operation, I +had nearly said—is over, and you have borne it +well. Thank you, Princess; and forgive me +for troubling you. You won't hate me, will +you, for having to be so horrid, and making +you go through all this?—Thank you again. +Shall we turn homeward now?—Yes, we'll be +there by dark."</p> + +<p>She sat very still, and paler than I like to see +her. As for me, great beads of perspiration +were on my forehead, though it was a cool day. +I drove as fast now as the law allows. At last +she spoke, and her voice trembled. "Brother, +how shockingly we have all misjudged you!"</p> + +<p>"No, dear: you did not misjudge me at all. +But you have been educating me, and it is fit +the best there is in me should come to the +front for your service—if it never put its head +up before, nor should again. Wait till I come +back: I've done nothing yet."</p> + +<p>"You have done everything. The rest will +be easy for you, compared with this."</p> + +<p>"By Jove, you are right there: I'm glad +we're through this part of it.—One thing more; +about Jane. She loves you as I do; she has +been berating me for indifference and slackness +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[132]</a></span> +in the cause. O, she is a trump: she was +crying bitterly last night because she could do +nothing to help you, and because I was too lazy +and cowardly to move; she has egged me on to +this. May I tell her what we have agreed on?"</p> + +<p>"O yes, tell her anything you like, and Mabel +too. I have made you all such a poor return: +any other woman in my place would have +trusted you long ago, and been the better for +it. But I am so strangely made, Robert: my +lips are like a seal to my heart. Excuse me at +dinner, won't you? And promise me one +thing—that always, after this, you will come +to me at once, without scruple, when you want +me, on my account or on your own. As if I +could be reluctant to talk with you! Tell me +when you hear from him, and when you are +going, and—anything else. You won't mind +my silence, or wait for me to speak? And you +must never be afraid of me again."</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="Plan_of_Campaign" id="Plan_of_Campaign"></a>XXIII.</h3> + +<h4>PLAN OF CAMPAIGN.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> Princess was seen no more that night, +and I got away till dinner time. Then I said +that she was not coming down, and anxious +looks were exchanged, and dark ones cast on +me. In return I winked at Jane, and frowned +severely on Herbert, who intercepted the signal +and began to grin. Mabel, who had seen it +too, reproved me for setting the boy a bad +example; and thus a diversion was effected. +While she was seeing after the children, my +sister carried me off to the library: I made her +kiss me before I would tell her anything.</p> + +<p>"Jane, you may scold me as much as you +like after this, and I will never say a cross +word to you again. Hartman was right: he +said you had more penetration than any of us, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[133]</a></span> +and all sorts of virtues. O, you needn't mind +about blushing; we are alone. It's true, and +I shall hold you in honor accordingly."</p> + +<p>"Brother, I hope you have not spoiled your +work with careless handling. I always distrust +you when you begin your fine speeches."</p> + +<p>"That was in the past, which we have put +behind us: they come now from the <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'abnndance'">abundance</ins> +of the heart. We are one, you know, and I +am to tell you everything. Jane, I've done +exactly as you told me, and given you all +credit. She knows it was your move; and it's +all right."</p> + +<p>"Then you found that your imagination had +created, or greatly magnified, the difficulties, +and that your fears were unnecessary?"</p> + +<p>"Far from it. It was a terrible job for both +of us: the mere recollection of it is harrowing. +Clarice is laid up, and only my superior physical +strength and fortitude, with an hour's recuperation, +enabled me to face you all at +table."</p> + +<p>"Then you must have been rough with her. +Brother, how could you?"</p> + +<p>"What did I tell you? You drive me, with +all your sharp-pointed feminine weapons, to a +painful task, and then you blame me because +you fancy I've not discharged it as neatly as +the angel Gabriel might. She thinks I did, +however. Was I rough with you last night? +Is it my habit to go around trampling on the +finer feelings of our nature? In the hour of +woe, when your heartstrings are torn asunder, +you will find me a first-class comforter. I +thought you knew that already."</p> + +<p>"I doubt if Clarice knows it, if you took this +tone with her. Can you never be serious, +Robert?"</p> + +<p>"Good heavens, Jane, what would you have? +Have I not been serious through two weary +months, and eminently so all this afternoon? +I had to be. Let the overstrung bow be relaxed +a little now. You remember the Prime Minister, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[134]</a></span> +who after an exciting debate used to go +home and play with his children?</p> + +<p>"As exciting debates are usually conducted +in the small hours, it was cruel to disturb +their infant slumbers. If you want to do that +here you will have to get Mabel's consent; it is +out of my province. Best play with your children +before they go to bed."</p> + +<p>"Children of a larger growth will serve. +Bear with me, sister. My faculties have been +sorely tasked: I am spent and weary—"</p> + +<p>"And you must have somebody to play with. +Was that why you were so fond of Clarice, because +she sometimes humored you? She could +hardly serve your turn now: the poor child is +in no jesting mood. Nor am I; nor ought you +to be."</p> + +<p>"Sister, you wrong me. It is my warmth of +heart, my fraternal affection, which you have +so oft-repulsed. Mine is a poet's nature. You +stare, but it is so: it is only lately that I +discovered the fact myself. Like the elder +Bulwer, I pine for appreciation, for sympathy—"</p> + +<p>"You will continue to pine if you go on like +this. I never saw such a man for beating +about the bush and talking nonsense. What +have you accomplished?—I don't want to pry +into her secrets, or ask her to share her confidences, +but—"</p> + +<p>"Now, Jane, if you have any heart left, I +will bring the tear of contrition to your eye. +I asked and obtained her permission to tell you +all I know, and all we have just arranged."</p> + +<p>"Don't be so long about it, then. What +are the arrangements?"</p> + +<p>So I imparted them with but little modification +or reservation; and Mabel coming in +presently, I went over the main outlines again. +It is not every man who could thus communicate +state secrets to his family; but mine never +talk about home affairs to outsiders. One +point is, they do not attend the Sewing Society: +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[135]</a></span> +if they did, I should feel less safe. They approved +in the main.</p> + +<p>"It hardly seems fair to Mr. Hartman," said +Jane; "but no doubt <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: it">it's</ins> as much as you can +expect from her."</p> + +<p>"I should say it was: why, she is acting +nobly. If it were any other man, he should, +and would, have all the making up to do, +instead of putting it on us. You see, you—that +is, we—don't exactly know what the +quarrel was. He must have been in the wrong, +of course."</p> + +<p>"O yes, because you are a man. Now suppose +I, being a woman, say, 'She must have +been in the wrong, of course.'"</p> + +<p>"My dears," said Mabel, "let us compromise. +They are both human beings; probably they +were both in the wrong."</p> + +<p>"Happy thought," said I. "We'll fix it that +way: then they have only to kiss and be friends. +But still, the man is generally expected to open +the ball."</p> + +<p>"That is," said Jane, "if all does not go +smoothly from the start, which can hardly be +expected, poor Mr. Hartman is to be sacrificed."</p> + +<p>"I would not put it just that way; though +he, or any man, ought to be glad to be sacrificed +for Clarice. She is naturally first with +me, as I should suppose she would be with +you—except that, as you pertinently observe, +you also are a woman. But never fear, Jane; +I'll attend to Hartman's case too. I hope to +act as attorney for both plaintiff and +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'defendent'">defendant</ins>, +and speedily to reconcile their conflicting +interests. It is true I am on a prospecting +tour: I have no retainer from him yet. But I +shall soon pocket that, and master his side of +the suit. O, I'll take him up tenderly, and +handle with care."</p> + +<p>"Of course you will, Robert," said Mabel. +"If there is any quality for which you are distinguished, +it is the even-tempered justice of +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[136]</a></span> +your mind. You can argue on both sides of a +case with equal fluency and force, and that quite +independent of your personal predilections."</p> + +<p>"Just so. But I fear Jane has not the +same confidence in my fairness and ability +with you, my dear. You will have to talk to +her privately, and bring her to a proper frame +of mind. She is my only and much loved +sister, and I can't go till she has faith in me."</p> + +<p>"It is you who are not in a proper frame of +mind as to Mr. Hartman's side of this affair, +brother. A man has no sympathy, no charity, +for another man. You can be all tenderness, +and consideration, and faith, and loyalty, to a +woman—when she has Clarice's looks; but +when it is only an old friend who trusts you, +you will laugh, and sneer, and amuse yourself +at his expense, and either delude him or hopelessly +estrange him."</p> + +<p>"Did you ever hear the like? Yesterday, +and the day before, she insisted on my going; +and now, when I am all on fire to go, she +throws cold water on my zeal, and—"</p> + +<p>Here my wife interrupted me. "Jane, it is +you who show undue levity. You forget that +Clarice is my cousin; that is why Robert is so +fond of her, and espouses her cause so warmly. +I think it is very good of him, and very generous."</p> + +<p>"Now you have hit it: Jane, hide your diminished +head. Mabel, if Hartman can prove +affinity with you, I will take just as much +pains for him as for Clarice. But, sister, you +and I must be one. I tell you what I will +do: I will stay at home all next Sunday, and +let you preach to me: then, if you can't fill me +to the nozzle with your views, whose fault will +it be? Or you might go along, as you wanted +to in May. Then you could personally superintend +the campaign."</p> + +<p>"My only hope is that you will sober down +before you get there. In this mood you could +do no good at all."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[137]</a></span> +"That's where you are mistaken. Jim expects +me to brighten him up: <i>he</i> is not wholly +without a sense of humor. But if you think I +am going there for amusement, you are out +again. I shall take Young's Night Thoughts, +and Hervey's Meditations among the Tombs, +and a volume or two of sermons, to read on the +way, and get my mind attuned to the atmosphere +of the place. My jokes there will be +solemn and elaborate offerings, prompted solely +by a humane sense of necessity. But, Jane, +you are in a minority of one. Clarice has +confidence in me: you ask her. And so has +Mabel: haven't you, my love?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, certainly. Why, Jane, Robert is the +only person who can possibly manage this +affair, since you and I can't well go, and +Clarice does not like to speak out herself. We +could not commit it to a stranger, you know. +Robert knew Mr. Hartman before any of us +did; they were old friends at college. He is +the natural link between them, you might say. +If he will only remember not to laugh in the +wrong places, as he did that time we took him +to church, when the minister thumped his +sermon off the pulpit, and not to tell the wrong +stories, as he so often does at table, and not to +yawn when Mr. Hartman explains how badly +he has been feeling since he left us, he will do +very well. You can't expect him to take the +same interest in Mr. Hartman as in Clarice: +would he care for us as he does, if we were +men? Jane, he is pointed out by Providence +as the means of reconciling them. You must +see that he is to be trusted entirely. Under +his supervision it will all come right: I said so +from the beginning."</p> + +<p>After this, there seemed no need of further +remarks. Mabel withdrew early, and I went +out to smoke. When I came back, I found +Jane again in tears.</p> + +<p>"Brother, tell me that you were only playing +with me, and that you are really in earnest +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[138]</a></span> +about this matter, and will do your best to set +it straight."</p> + +<p>"My dear sister, I will tell you anything you +like, if you will only believe me; what is the +use, if you won't? Do you suppose I care less +for Clarice's happiness than you do—or for +Jim's either? I wish you would talk to her, +and let her clarify your ideas. Faith, as you +may have heard in church, is a saving grace, +and essential to peace of mind. Within a +month or two you will see whether I fail my +friends or not, and then perhaps you will learn +to trust me. Jane, I believe in you now, even +if you don't believe in me; I would do almost +anything to please you. You want me to +change my nature: I would do even that, but +it is so expensive, and then the new one +might not fit as well as what I have now. You +are very exacting, but you can't quarrel with +me, because I will be no party to such proceedings."</p> + +<p>"Brother, it all rests with you. If you will +bring them together, I will never doubt you +again."</p> + +<p>"No, my dear, I'll not hold you to that. +You shall doubt me as often as you like; but +I will keep my promises all the same."</p> + +<p>You see, I am trying new tactics with Jane +now. Magnanimity, patient forgiveness of injuries, +disinterested and persistent affection, +will in time soften the most obdurate. After +Clarice goes off, there will be so few of us left +that I can't afford to be on any but the best +terms with such as remain. And then my +sister, when she is willing to do herself—and +me—justice, has some quite creditable traits.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[139]</a></span></p> + +<h3><a name="To_Wayback_again" id="To_Wayback_again"></a>XXIV.</h3> + +<h4>TO WAYBACK AGAIN.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">I pass</span> succeeding interviews, of which there +were several. Poor Clarice had little to say, +but was quite willing to listen to any suggestions +of mine. What Jane unkindly calls +beating about the bush is necessary with a +person of her sensitive organization. She +seems to feel that she has fallen from her old +estate, and is not yet established in a new one. +I am satisfied that she never would have made +those admissions, slight as they are, and allowed +me to go on this secret embassy, if she +had only herself to consider. For the first +time duty to others has come into collision +with her pride, and shaken the citadel of her +reserve. Always hitherto she has had things +and people come to her; the exercise has been +in keeping them off. To want, to seek, to +invite—to lift a finger, unless in the way of +small and graceful social management—this is +new to her, and she takes it hard. The thing I +have to do beyond all others is to preserve her +dignity: she knows I can be trusted for that, +though Jane does not. I can't blame <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: punctuation on the original is unclear here">Jane:</ins> +she has never seen me conduct an affair like +this, nor has any one else, for the simple +reason that I never had it to do till now. I +am only her brother: she has had experience of +all my failings, and is imperfectly acquainted +with my resources. Mabel is more satisfactory. +She has not figured as much as some others in +this chronicle; connubial modesty prevents my +making her prominent. But she too possesses +some very good traits; especially she has a way +of bringing forward and dwelling upon points +which nobody else would think of mentioning. +She used to scold me sometimes, but that was +chiefly when she thought I was not treating +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[140]</a></span> +Clarice well. She lays great stress on ties of +blood, and considers herself natural guardian +and defender to the Princess, whom she sometimes +forgets that I knew for fifteen years +before I ever met her. Clarice talks little +with her, and no more with Jane: I really +believe that her only confidences—which are +not much, if measured by words—have been +made to me. But they are very fond of each +other all the same. I suppose you can understand +that much affection can exist with little +intimacy. The Princess was cast in her own +peculiar mould: I don't want to see many more +like her, for they would be poor imitations. +None of us ever attempt to pry into her inner +life—or to meddle with her outward life either; +when she wants anything of any of us, we are +ready, and there it ends. She knows we love +her, and that is enough.</p> + +<p>Hartman, now, is much less impenetrable; +though I suppose he will shut himself up like +an oyster over the dubious pearl of his precious +secret, and give me no end of trouble to extract +his contents. But I possess a knife which is +able to open his shell. He has answered my +letter promptly, and expects me presently. +Does he think I am going up there merely to +fish and hunt, and hear him talk a lot of rubbish +about the Vanity of Life? Or does he +scent my deeper motives—discern the Ethiopian +within the encompassing pale, as they say in +Boston? If so, he is apparently as willing to +be operated on as he was before. At any rate +he is a gentleman, and knows how to respect a +woman—when he takes time to think about it. +This is a delicate business for him as well as +for the lady—and there is where the awkwardness +comes in: from his point of view he can't +speak out, any more than she. Well, I'll turn +him inside out and manipulate him, if it takes +the whole week. Happily I don't have to +consider him as I did Clarice; as Jane intimates, +a man can't expect to have his feelings +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[141]</a></span> +spared in the process. What are a man's feelings +anyway, compared with a woman's? And +what rights has he as against <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'her'">hers</ins>? No: between +man and man all that can be needed is +plain speech and manly frankness—aided by +a little diplomacy. I'll break you to pieces, +James H., if you are fractious; and I've got +the weapons to do it with. It is all for your +good, and you'll bless me the rest of your life. +One thing must be understood: I can't have +you coming to my place and practising your +wild backwoods manners on my family, and +then sneaking off in the night and evading +responsibility. The next time you come you +will have to behave yourself, and to stay till +Somebody has had enough of you.</p> + +<p>Mabel thinks I ought to enliven the account +of my trip with descriptions of scenery and the +like. But a rock is a rock, and a field is a +field, and who wants to know whether a tree is +elm or maple? I am not a geological survey, +and you can get mountains enough from Craddock. +Not that I am insensible to the beauties +of Nature—as I have proved before now. How +often have I sat upon an eminence, and admiringly +gazed at the departing luminary as +he sank slowly to rest, flooding hill and valley +with tints which a painter might strive in vain +to reproduce! I would have to sit there some +time to see it all, for I have noticed that with +us the Sunset proper does not begin till after +the Setting of the Sun is finished. And when +the distant mountains assumed a robe of royal +purple, and 'the death-smile of the dying day' +lingered pathetically on the horizon, my +thoughts would soar to the Celestial City, and +long to rest themselves upon its pavement of +liquid gold. I heard Dr. Chapin say these +last words at the first lecture I ever attended, +and it struck my infant intelligence +that they ought to be preserved. And I too +might be a poet if I lived in the country, in +constant communion with Nature, abandoning +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[142]</a></span> +my soul to her maternal caress. But alas, the +stir, the scramble, the mad whirl of city life, +the debasing contact with low material minds, +the daily study of Prices Current, make even of +me a muckworm. Still, I might work up a +brook or two after I get to the woods, or expatiate +on a seven-pound trout: my conscience +forbids me to weigh them higher, for I never +saw any above three. And yet some men will talk +familiarly of ten-pounders!—Or I might analyze +the mediæval garments of Hodge and his old +Poll. As for the Wayback houses, they are like +any other habitations, only less of them, and +few and far between: Jim's is the best, and it is +nothing to brag of. You can see much better +buildings any day on Broadway. The rural parts, +as Lord Bacon observed, are but a den of savage +men. It is to see one of these, and resume the +interrupted process of civilizing him, that I am +about starting on this philanthropic journey, +leaving my happy home and the advantages of a +metropolis. If the savage breast is open to +ennobling influences, it shall be soothed and +charmed by the music of my discourse. What +loftier, more disinterested task than to reclaim +the wanderer, and guide the penitent in the way +wherein he should go? I began this soul-raising +labor some time ago, but an unexpected +hitch occurred in the proceeding: there must +be no more such now.</p> + +<p>I found Hodge awaiting me at the station: +he said that Hartman was arranging the tackle +for to-morrow. The fact is, it is one of Jim's +notions not to keep a horse, but to depend on +Hodge for his communications with the outside +world; and another never to see the railroad +when he can help it.</p> + +<p>"Well, old man," I said as the effete steed +began laboriously to get in motion, "how is +your valuable health?"</p> + +<p>"Pooty tollable. How's them gells o' yourn +as wanted to foller ye up here las' time?"</p> + +<p>"The ladies are reasonably well, and will be +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[143]</a></span> +flattered by your inquiries. How is Mr. Hartman?"</p> + +<p>"Wall, Square, I ain't none too satyfied 'bout +him. He don't say nothin to nobody, but he +seems kinder low in his mind, like. Ever +sence you played that durn trick on me and +him, he's ben someways diffurnt. He—"</p> + +<p>"Look here, my aged friend; why should +you accuse me of playing durn tricks on people? +To what circumstance do you allude?"</p> + +<p>"I ain't alludin' to nothin; I says it out +plain. If ye don't know, Id'no as I'm called +to tell ye. Me an' Hartman was gittin on fust +rate, till ye come and upsot us; we ain't used +to bein upsot. So when our commydations +wan't good enough for ye an' yer gells, ye +went and got Hartman down thar in the city, +or wharever 'twas. An' Id'no what ye done +to him thar, an' I spose it's no good to ask a +feller like ye; but he ain't ben the same man +sence. That's how <i>he</i> is. He uster be chipper, +an' peart, an' clost frens with me; an' now he +don't say nothin. Ye can see fur yerself pooty +durn soon."</p> + +<p>And the native bestowed on me a malign +glance. I trotted him out and entertained +myself with his paces (which were livelier than +those of his nag) for the next three hours. +Those who like nature unadorned can find it +here. As a specimen of unbridled rancor +Hodge deserves a prize. I believe I have got +to the bottom of his luminous intellect—not +that it was worth the labor, if one had anything +else to do. Supposing himself Jim's most intimate +friend, he is jealous of me as a rival in +that capacity; and he has never forgiven the +slight put on his establishment in connection +with the girls' proposed visit. I partly appeased +him by suggesting that he supply the shanty +with a new signboard labeled 'Palace Hotel.' +Fortunately I don't have to put up there this +time.</p> + +<p>Of course he told me a lot of lies. A casual +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[144]</a></span> +eye could see no change in the recluse: his head +does not hang down on his breast, his locks are +not long and matted, his sighs do not resound +through the primeval forest and scare away +the panthers. When you look closely at him, +or have been with him long enough, you can +see that he is a little thinner, a little older, a +little less inclined to chaff—as well he may be. +Chaffing is a bad habit anyway, and was his +worst fault when I was here before; so far, his +woes have improved him. He met me cordially +enough, but with no wild demonstration: he +seems no nearer insanity than last May. He +asked after Mabel, Jane, and the children, but +not after Clarice; nor did I mention her, of +course. It was not a very pleasant evening, for +each of us was watching the other to see what +he would say. He knows as well as I do that +the enemy has troops in reserve: he is not so +unsuspicious as he was. He did not ventilate +his theories to any great extent, nor did I see +my way to expound my great scheme for the +Ascertainment of Truth: the ground ought to +be in good condition before you drop seed of +such value upon it.</p> + +<p>If I thought things would go on like this, +I should begin to grumble; but we shall probably +get broken in to each other in a day or +two, and then I can thaw him out. We talked +glittering generalities for a while—the weather, +and the war prospects abroad, and the chances +of getting deer on the other side of a mountain +not far away—like any commonplace boobies +at a county fair. Then he proposed for next +morning a stream I had not seen, some distance +off, which would necessitate a start before daybreak: +so I pretended to be tired from the +journey, and we turned in early.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[145]</a></span></p> + +<h3><a name="A_Wild_Brook" id="A_Wild_Brook"></a>XXV.</h3> + +<h4>A WILD BROOK.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">Next</span> day we went some miles along a lonely +road, and then through the fields of an abandoned +farm. I don't wonder they abandoned +it; I am only sorry for the poor wretch who +once cherished the delusive dream of scratching +a living there; when he died or went back to +Canada, he couldn't well be worse off. Nature +had but partially reclaimed the land, and we +tramped through weeds and grass up to our +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: punctuation in the original is unclear here">middle;</ins> one might as well be wading a fair-sized +river. You have no idea of the dew up +here till you have tried it. After a while we +struck into the woods, and such woods you +never saw—at least I hope so for your sake. +Rocks, big and little, generally of the most +unchristian shapes—not picturesque, but sprawling; +underbrush wherever it had a chance to +grow: you could scarcely find a foot of smooth +ground. The worst of it was the way the trees +lay around loose. The region had not been +burned over, at least not for many years; but +it did seem to have been cursed, as if Adam's +fall had been enacted there. The monarchs of +the forest, for countless generations, had indulged +a depraved propensity to fall also, and +across each other in all possible directions. It +was such an abattis as I trust our men, in the +war, never had to fight their way through: +here it was bad enough without anybody to +shoot at you. I would go rods out of my way +to get around a great bowlder, and come upon +a conglomeration of big trees which had tumbled +about till they made a Virginia fence +fifteen feet high. Climbing is all very well in +its way, but I don't like this kind. The queer +thing was that they had not the sense to decay +and crumble; the wood was mostly sound enough +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[146]</a></span> +to be standing yet. I asked Hartman why +they did not haul off all this timber, and he +said there was no place to haul it to, nor any +way to haul it, nor anybody to do the hauling; +that fuel was cheap, and the few inhabitants +had plenty nearer home; and besides, that it +was most ornamental and useful where it was—it +afforded exercise to the bodily and spiritual +muscles of any anglers from the city who might +come that way like me. "You forget the +characteristics of this region, which are its +advantages in my view. You can get turnpike +roads, and teams, and sawmills, nearer home. +You come up here to be away from the busy +haunts, you know, and to see Nature in her +native purity. This stream that I am taking +you to is very seldom visited."</p> + +<p>"I should think it would be, if this is the +way to get to it," I said, as I fell over a root +and barked my nose and knees. "What the +deuce did we come to such a blanked place +for?"</p> + +<p>"For trout: you said they were what you +wanted. The less fishermen, the more fish. +This is the best brook in the county, because it +is the least accessible. I rarely come here +myself: I've been saving it up this year for +you."</p> + +<p>We went on, our progress marked by frequent +delays and accidents; that it was marked by no +profanity was due merely to Jim's reticence +and to my exceptional manners and principles. +After what seemed to me about twenty miles—though +he said it was only one and a half—of +this singularly forsaken country, he cried, +"Look out now, or you'll fall in. Here is the +brook."</p> + +<p>It made noise enough to be heard a long way +off, but I thought that was something else—some +kobolds or other abnormal beings, probably, +working at their forges underground. +The brook itself was well enough, but it did +not seem to belong there; you could not see it +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[147]</a></span> +till you were on the edge of it. I have fished +a good many streams, and tramped through all +sorts of woods, but I never saw such a place as +that before, and I never want to again. We +had left our rods at home; high-toned anglers +who carry fancy tackle through such regions +leave it along the painful way in small pieces. +So we carried merely our baskets—which were +encumbrance enough—and what we had in our +pockets. You can cut a pole anywhere, and it +does not want to be a long one either: take +your fly-book if you like, but worms are as good +or better. There was no use of wading: you +would be more likely to scare the fish so than +by staying on the bank, where they could never +see you; the difficulty was to see far enough to +throw in five feet of line. It was a superior +brook—all but the getting to it, and, as I afterwards +found, away from it. If it could be removed +from its loathsome surroundings and put +down in a decent country, I would go there every +year. I was going to say that some of the +cascades were forty feet high, till I remembered +that trout cannot climb as far as that.</p> + +<p>"Don't lose your balance," said Jim; "these +fish are fierce." They were, in the wilder parts. +They would bite like mad, and then wriggle +and wrench themselves off the hook before you +could get them up the bank. I never saw or +heard of such ferocity, except in the celebrated +scaly warrior which chased an equally famous +fisherman all over an Adirondack lake, jumped +across his boat several times, and, if I remember +rightly, bit him on the nose. No such adventure +fell to my lot on this occasion, though I +thought that some of them, when sufficiently +near my face, grinned at me as they parted +company. Yet none of them were over half a +pound, and most of them much less. You can +see that this healthful pastime does not produce +its usual demoralizing effect on me. When +we reached a flat piece of ground, the water +would become quiet and the manners of the +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[148]</a></span> +fish more humane, so that they would come out +like chubs. I stood in one spot under a tree, +and took twenty-nine in succession. My sister, +looking over these memoirs, suggests that they +probably <i>were</i> chubs; but Hartman, who was +behind me then, came up and saw them, so I have +his evidence. He said it was a spawning bed, +and I ought to put the twenty-nine back. Who +would have thought him capable of such mean +jealousy? But he cannot play his tricks on +me.</p> + +<p>About two P.M. he said we had better start.</p> + +<p>"Why, we don't want to reach home much +before dark," said I.</p> + +<p>"No danger of it. It's much worse getting +out of this than getting in. You saw how +much path there is: we can't go straight, and +it's all chance where we strike the fields. +You'd better eat what you've got, and drink +all you can: there's no water between this and +the road."</p> + +<p>"Didn't you take landmarks? Look at the +mountains all round."</p> + +<p>"They are like the mountains about the Dark +Tower Childe Roland came to. I've been here +twice before, and missed the way back both times. +Nobody ever got out of here without going a +circuit to the right, and taking his chances. +The natives are afraid to come here: they say +there are ghosts—the ghosts of those who got +lost of old, and were eaten by bears. That's +how we took so many trout. Look to your belt +now, and the straps of your basket. The last +time I was here, the other fellow lost his fish +in the woods, and I made him go back and +hunt them up: it was near night before he +found them, and his basket was not much +heavier than yours is now. If we should have +to camp out, we can build a fire, cook some of +the fish, and probably avoid freezing: but we'd +better try to get out."</p> + +<p>I thought so too, and supposed he was trying +to scare me; but the sun was nearly down when +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[149]</a></span> +we saw the fields. We went four times too far, +through that beastly region of rocks and dead +trees: I think our course was mainly northwest +by south-southeast. At last we got back to +the house, tired and hungry; but Jim's old +housekeeper is a pretty good cook for a native, +and there is no better supper than trout that +were in the water the same day.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="An_Intractable_Patient" id="An_Intractable_Patient"></a>XXVI.</h3> + +<h4>AN INTRACTABLE PATIENT.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">When</span> we were settled down to our pipes, I +said, "Is this the way you treat the friends +of your youth, when they entrust life and limb +to your hospitality?"</p> + +<p>"I give 'em the best I've got: sorry if it +doesn't suit. There's no Delmonico's round the +corner, here. What's the matter with you, old +man?"</p> + +<p>"O, it's not your housekeeping: that's all +right. But why did you lead me such a dance, +and get me lost in that unconscionable doghole +of a wilderness?"</p> + +<p>"Did you ever take so many fish out of a +brook in one day before? No, of course you +didn't. Well, that's why. I told you it would +be a rough expedition; but I thought you +came here to rough it. You didn't expect balls +and a casino, did you? You were here last +May."</p> + +<p>"Last May I saw nothing as bad as this to-day. +You haven't been playing it on me, I +hope? Jim, have you got any grudge against +me?"</p> + +<p>"What should I have? You're deucedly suspicious +and sensitive—far more so than I was +with you. I believe I let you play on me to +your heart's content, and never complained—did +I?"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[150]</a></span> +"Jim, I don't like this. There's a change +in you: Hodge said so, and I didn't believe +him. You're not the same man."</p> + +<p>"O, we all change—from year to year, and +from day to day. But I ought never to have +left these woods, Bob, and that's the truth. +You should have let me stay here as I was."</p> + +<p>"I meant it in all kindness, for your good, +Jim. Surely you'll do me the justice to acknowledge +that."</p> + +<p>"No doubt. But your philanthropic experiments +are apt to be damnably expensive to the +patient."</p> + +<p>"You couldn't be much worse than you were, +according to your own account. Any change +ought to have been for the better."</p> + +<p>"That was your assumption. Do I strike +you as being changed for the better?"</p> + +<p>"Well, no, you don't—not to put too fine a +point upon it."</p> + +<p>He certainly does not. His whole manner +is altered. His former gentleness has given +way to rough harshness. You have seen how +he treats me. It may be his best, as he says; +if so, his best is far from good. His bitterness +used to be, if I may say so, in the abstract, +and leveled against abstractions; now it seems +to have a painfully concrete character and aim. +His estrangement from the scheme of things, +or from his kind at least, was purely intellectual, +leaving his heart no more affected than the +heart usually is by brain-disorders; now it is +moral. He is like a man tormented by remorse, +or regrets as savage. But I think I know a +cure for his complaint.</p> + +<p>After a pause he said, "I don't want to blame +you, Bob, and I don't propose to whine. Nor +was it any great matter what came to me, +wherever it might come from. I thought I +was done with the world, and had nothing to +fear from it, except being bored and disgusted. +There was only one thing I cared about, and +that I supposed I could keep. I was mistaken. +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[151]</a></span> +It was my little ewe lamb—all I had; and they +took it from me."</p> + +<p>"I thought your live stock was confined to +dogs, and a cow, and the tomcat—by the way, +I don't see him any more. I didn't know you +went into sheep. Was Tommy the ewe-lamb, +and did the dogs play Nathan and David with +him?"</p> + +<p>This I said, thinking to cheer him up a bit; +but he only scowled. Really, I must remember +Mabel's caution about telling the wrong stories +and laughing in the wrong places. "Well, +Jim, what was 'it' that you valued so, and who +were 'they' who took it away?"</p> + +<p>"The prince of the power of the air; the +spirit that walks in darkness, and rules in the +children thereof. The beautiful order of things +generally, and their incurable depravity. All +these are one, and the name doesn't matter. +If you urged me to it, I might say that you had +played a very passable David to my Uriah."</p> + +<p>"Who—I? I'm not a sheep-stealer. What +would I want to hurt you for? Jim, you're +joking, and it's a joke of doubtful taste."</p> + +<p>"Do I look like it? <i>You</i> might find a joke +in this: you can find them everywhere. I +can't."</p> + +<p>"As I told you, you take Life too seriously. +If you will be more specific, and tell me what +you have lost, perhaps I can help you to find +it."</p> + +<p>"Some losses are irrecoverable. You'd better +let it alone, Bob; you'd better have let me +alone before, as I've said. You mean well +enough; but it's ill meddling with another +man's life. You don't know what responsibility +you take, or what effect you may produce. +I don't say that it's the worst of all possible +worlds, but it is such that each of us had best +go his own way, and keep clear of the others. +When one forgets that safe rule, and mixes with +his kind, only harm seems to come of it."</p> + +<p>"If that is so, I might better have staid at +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[152]</a></span> +home now. Methinks your written hand is +different from your spoken. I mean—"</p> + +<p>"O yes, when I write I try to come out of +myself and be decently civil; and so I should +to a chance visitor for five minutes, or an hour +maybe. But I can't keep it up all day—not to +say for a week. You'll have to see the facts, +and bear with them. I don't want to be rough +on you; but I'm not myself—or not what I +was before, or supposed myself to be. It's all +in the plan, no doubt; we are fulfilling the +beneficent intentions of Nature. Perhaps I'm +breaking down, and the end is not so far off as +we thought. If so, so much the better: we'll +escape that sad old age you prophesied."</p> + +<p>Now I am not lacking in humanity, but it +does not afflict me as it did six months ago to +hear Jim go on in this way. I know what is +the matter with him now, and what he is +driving at, though I must assume ignorance for +a while yet. The patient must tell his symptoms, +and then the doctor will give him the +physic he needs, and proceed to make a new +man of him. That is what I am after now, +and the good work must not be spoiled by undue +haste. So I put on a decorous air of sympathy, +and said,</p> + +<p>"That's all bosh, you know. If anything is +the matter with you physically, I ought to hear +about it; but I don't believe there is. As for the +mind, we are all subject to gloomy moods and +periods of depression; but they pass, Jim—they +pass. You believed in friendship before; hadn't +you better tell me what you think ails you?"</p> + +<p>"I can't talk about it, except in this roundabout +way: what's the use? Best keep to +broad principles: the particular case only illustrates +the general law. I knew it of old: what +business had I to expose myself again? What +would you do with a child who will keep on +playing about moving cars, or mill machinery? +Let him fall under the wheels, and rid the +earth of an idiot."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[153]</a></span> +"O no: pull him out in time, and he'll learn +better. Well, Jim, you might at least tell me +what hand I had in this catastrophe."</p> + +<p>"O, none, none whatever: how should you? +You never laid any plots for me, and used me +for your mirth. You never devised an elaborately +concealed ambush, and smoothed it over +till I was in the snare. That would be foreign +to your open and candid nature. It is very +good fun to practice on unsuspecting innocence; +but you are far above that."</p> + +<p>"See here, Hartman: you talk as if my house +were a den of iniquity. If so, I was not aware +of it till now. Your ill opinion has not thus +far been reciprocated. We entertain none but +kind feelings toward you: we all regretted your +hasty departure. You were received as a +friend, and treated as such, I believe. My wife +and sister often speak of you: you could command +their fullest sympathy in this, or any +trouble, real or imaginary."</p> + +<p>"That I never doubted: I owe them nothing +but pleasant memories, and thankful good +will.—You need not stare at me so: I make no +charges, and imply none.—Well, if you must +have it, I can say that every member of your +family has my absolute respect,—down to the +twins; do you understand? If I have any +grudge, it is toward you alone."</p> + +<p>It was plain that he forced himself to say +this—or some of it—as if it were coming perilously +near a name he could not utter. He is +having his bad time now, as I had mine last +week. It is his own fault: he has no need to +be so censorious. He <i>had</i> to say what he did, +or there would be trouble: some things a man +cannot stand, and my best friend would be my +friend no longer, if he ventured to reflect upon +the Princess.</p> + +<p>"I'm glad to hear you say so: the difficulty +is simple then, and easily settled. You've got +no pistols, of course, and I didn't bring mine. +I'll take your rifle, and you can borrow Hodge's +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[154]</a></span> +old shotgun: if it bursts, it won't be much loss—only +you mustn't come too near me with it. +There's no danger of interference from the +police up here, I judge? But I say, what shall +we do for a surgeon?"</p> + +<p>"There you go again, turning everything into +a jest. Can you never be serious, man?"</p> + +<p>"Try to say something original, James: that +is stale. Jane asks me that about six times a +day, and Mabel frequently, and—and the others. +I was serious with you just now, or nearly: had +I been entirely so, I might have knocked the +top of your head off, and then they would have +blamed me at home. You see, they think you +are more of a man than you show yourself. To +be serious all the time is the most serious mistake +one can make in life; and I want no worse +example than you. When I go back to town I +shall write the Decline and Fall of an Alleged +Seeker after Truth, who missed it by taking +things too seriously. You are too stiff and narrow +and rigid and dogmatic: you take one point +of view and stick to it like grim death. You +can't get at Truth in that way."</p> + +<p>"I suppose you would stand on your head and +look at it upside down, and then turn a back +somersault and view it from between your +legs."</p> + +<p>"You express it inelegantly, but you have +caught the idea. Truth is not a half pound package +done up in brown paper and permanently +deposited in one corner of the pantry shelf; +she is big and various and active. While you +have your head fixed in the iron grip and are +staring at the sign 'Terms Cash,' she is off to +the other side of the room—and you don't +make a good picture at all in that constrained +attitude. Your mind has got to be nimble and +unbiassed if you want to overtake her, because +she is always changing: that is, she appears in +new and—to you—unexpected places. I gave +you a hint of this in May, and another last +summer, but you seem to have forgotten it. O, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[155]</a></span> +I could sit here all night and explain it +to you, if you were in the right frame of +mind."</p> + +<p>"No doubt: happily I am not. What has +this to do with your defence of buffoonery, +and apotheosis of clowns and pantomimes?"</p> + +<p>"A pantomime is a very good thing in its +way. But that is your illustration; I would +rather say opera bouffe, which is probably the +truest copy of Life—if we were limited to one +kind. But we are not: I tell you, we must +have all sorts. There is tragedy in Life, and +comedy—that more especially; a little of the +other goes a long way. But they are always +mixed—not kept apart, and one alone taken in +large and frequent doses, after your fashion. +Shakespeare understood his business pretty +well; though, if I had been he, I would have +put in more of those light and graceful touches +which hit us where we live, and make the +whole world kin."</p> + +<p>"Like the Dromios, or the Carriers in Henry +Fourth."</p> + +<p>"Or the Gravediggers; they are more to your +purpose. I want you to see that Humor is the +general solvent and reconciler, the key that +opens most locks: a feeling for it, well developed, +would be money in your pocket. Things +don't go to suit you, and you think your powers +of the air are frowning, the universe a vault, +and the canopy a funeral pall: perhaps the +powers are only laughing at you, and want you +to smile with them. If you could do that, it +would let in light on your darkness. Any +situation, properly viewed, has its amusing +elements: if you ignore them, you fail to understand +the whole. What did Heine say +about his irregular Latin nouns? That his +knowledge of them, in many a gloomy hour, +supplied much inward consolation and delight. +You ought to read him more, Jim."</p> + +<p>"And Josh Billings, and Bill Nye. Well, +that's enough of your wisdom for to-night. +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[156]</a></span> +We must arrange for to-morrow. Are you up +to another <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: scramble.?'' with a period">scramble</ins>?"</p> + +<p>"Not like to-day's. Let's take in some +decent scenery along with the trout."</p> + +<p>"There is a wild gorge ten miles off, with a +brook in it. We can take Hodge's mare, put up +at a house, and work down the ravine. It's not +so bad as the last place, nor so good for fish." +I agreed, and we went to bed.</p> + +<p>You may think I am humoring Hartman too +much, and letting him shirk the subject. But +I have a week—more if necessary—and I don't +want to be too hard on him. He'll thaw out +by degrees: so long as he doesn't blame Clarice, +it is all right. He has got my idea about the +way to discover Truth now, and it will work +in his brain, and soften him. I know Jim: he +never seems to take hold at first, but he comes +round in time. You just wait, and you will +see whether I know what I am about.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="Scenery_Improved" id="Scenery_Improved"></a>XXVII.</h3> + +<h4>SCENERY IMPROVED.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> next day we drove to a farmhouse which +had annexed some rather decent fields for that +region. On one side was tolerably level ground, +on the other a cut between two savage mountains. +Down this we made our way, taking +presently the bed of a small brook: woodroad +or footpath never can be there. For a while +there was room to walk on dry land: soon the +cliffs closed in upon us, <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'or'">on</ins> the right rising +sheer, on the left sloping, but steeper than I +would want to climb. At first the stream was +very shallow and narrow, and the fish small +and scarce; but think of the creatures that +must come there to drink at night! It was the +only watercourse for miles, Jim said. He +pointed out the tracks of a bear or two, and +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[157]</a></span> +he thought of a panther; but it is not here I +should choose to hunt—your game might have +you at a disadvantage. He tried to make me +believe that even now some of these beasts +might catch us; but that was simply to discourage +me from going after them, later on: +Jim does not like the chase. <i>My</i> jokes are in +better taste: as he is now, I believe the bears +could beat him in manners. Near noon we +found a place to sit down, where we could see +a little of the crags, and proceeded to assimilate +our frugal lunch.</p> + +<p>"Hartman," said I, "I should think you +would want to live up to your scenery, as the +ladies do to their blue china. Look at this +majestic cliff, whose scarred and aged front, +frowning upon these lonesome trout since the +creation, has never been profaned by mortal +foot."</p> + +<p>"Probably not. People very seldom come +here, and when they do, they wouldn't be fools +enough to try to climb up. They couldn't do +it, and it wouldn't pay if they could."</p> + +<p>"Well, it is grand, anyway, and it ought to +quicken your soul to grand thoughts. In such +a scene you ought to feel stirring within you +noble sympathies and resolves."</p> + +<p>"I can't see much grandeur in human nature, +Bob, nor any in myself. If you had thought +yourself a gentleman, and suddenly awaked to +the fact that you were a cad and a scoundrel, +you would be apt to change your tune, and +drop the high notes."</p> + +<p>Oho, I thought, he is coming to the point. +While I was meditating how to utilize this +confidence, a small piece of rock fell from above +upon the edge of my toes: if it had been a +large piece, and fallen on my head, you would +have missed this moral tale. When I had expressed +my sentiments, he said, "I can't insure +you against accidents,—any more than +you did me. If I had brought you here in +spring, you might growl. The rocks are loose +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[158]</a></span> +then, and it is dangerous. A man was killed +once just below here, and his body never found +till the year after." This trivial <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'occurence'">occurrence</ins> +seemed to turn his thoughts away from the +important topic, and I could not get him back +to it.</p> + +<p>It was a warm day for the season: once in a +while it will be hotter in these sylvan solitudes +than it is in New York. While we were in +the brook we did not mind that, for we could +drop every five minutes and drink. I suppose I +consumed some nine gallons of <i>aqua pura</i> +during the morning: you can do this with impunity, +because there is no ice in it, and the +bacteria are of the most wholesome kind. But +by and by we finished with the gorge: then we +had to go across a sort of common, up hill. +There was no water now, and it was hot. After +more trees, and a steeper ascent, Jim said, +"You'll get a view now." We came out on an +open place, with steep rocks beneath. Before +us lay a wilderness, with clearings here and +there, and a background of mountains. The +forests were in their early November bloom; +the country looked one great flower. In the +Alps or the Rockies they can give this odds, +and beat it easily, but it was pretty well for +eastern America—and an occasion to be improved. +"Jim, if the crags don't appeal to +you, this might. If you don't feel up to moral +grandeur, why not go in for peace? Let your +perturbed spirit catch the note of harmony +from this landscape, and drink in purity from +this air."</p> + +<p>"That is all very fine, and you would make +a pretty fair exhorter—with practice. But +natural theology is not in my line. These hills +look nicely now, but it will be different within +a month. If I am to learn peace from a fine +day, what from a stormy one? Nature changes +for the worse like us, and with less shame: she +has no regrets for the past, no care to keep up +appearances or make a show of consistency."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[159]</a></span> +"I fear you have been learning of Nature on +her wrong side then. Half confidences are in +bad taste, Jim. What is it you keep hinting +at? It ought to be murder, from the airs you +put on about it."</p> + +<p>"Leave that for to-night, when we have +nothing better to attend to. There is another +brook here we ought to try."</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="Diplomacy" id="Diplomacy"></a>XXVIII.</h3> + +<h4>DIPLOMACY.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">We</span> got back reasonably early, much less tired +than the day before. Now, I thought, for +some progress. "Well, Jim, you wanted to +unfold your tale to-night."</p> + +<p>"That is, you wanted to ask me about it. +You can't do any good, and I don't find speech +a safety-valve: but I suppose it is my duty to +supply you with amusement. So get on, and +say what is on your mind."</p> + +<p>He takes this tone to conceal his morbid +yearning to ease his bosom of its perilous stuff: +I will have his coil unwound pretty soon. If +I were not here, he would probably be whispering +her name under the solemn stars, and +shouting it in tragic tones on the lonely mountain-top; +sighing it under the waterfalls, and +expecting the trout to echo it. He talks about +fishing the home brook the first rainy day, but +he must have scared all the fish away from +there with his sentiment. I must remember +to notice whether 'C. E.' is carved about the +forest. He will pretend to hold back; but I +will get it out of him.—I made this pause long +enough to let him prepare for the examination +on which depends his admission into the civil +service, so to speak—he will have to be more +civil and serviceable than hitherto if he is to +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[160]</a></span> +pass it, and follow me back to town—and indeed +his whole future.</p> + +<p>"You say you have lost something valuable. +All you had, you said it was; but that is nonsense. +You have health, and more money than +you want, and brains and education, of which +you are making very poor use, and friends, +whom you are treating badly. I can't think +what you have lost—unless it was your heart, +perhaps." This I brought in in the way of +afterthought, as if it had suddenly occurred to +me. He started, but assumed a tone of cynical +indifference.</p> + +<p>"My heart? Would I sit down and howl over +that? What use have I for a heart, any more +than for a poodle? And if I had one, what +does it matter what may have become of it?"</p> + +<p>"Strayed or stolen, probably. Such things +have happened, especially when persons of the +opposite sex are about. They are apt to attach +themselves to poodles, and vice versa. But if +you give me your honor that a loss of heart is +not the cause of these lamentations—"</p> + +<p>"Why will you press that point, Bob? What +is done can't be undone, and what is broken +can't be mended."</p> + +<p>"And what is crooked can't be made straight, +and what is wanting can't be supplied; though +these things are done every day and every hour. +Why any able-bodied lady of my acquaintance, +even those at my own house, limited as is their +experience of the world's devious ways—Jane, +I mean, or Mabel—could tell you how."</p> + +<p>"Robert, I am too old for these follies."</p> + +<p>"James, you are the youngest man I ever +knew. Any boy of eighteen would be apt to +know better how to manage such matters, and—if +you will pardon the frankness you employ +yourself—to exhibit more sense."</p> + +<p>He stared a little, and I gave him time to +recover. Then he took up his parable, defensively +falling back on the abstract, after his +manner.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[161]</a></span> +"Of course I have thought of these things, +Bob, and the philosophy of them, if they can +be said to have any. They seem much like +everything else. Taking Life in its unfinancial +aspects, men do things, not because the particular +things are worth doing, but as an +apology for the unwarranted liberty they take +in being alive. 'I am: why am I?' said the +youth at prayer-meeting, and everybody gave +it up. As an effort toward answering his own +conundrum, he entered the ministry. Being +alive, we have to make a pretense of doing +something, which else might better remain +undone. That is why books are written, and +controversies waged; it explains most of our +intellectual and moral activities. So with +society: time must be killed, and we go out +for an evening, though we are dreadfully bored +and gain nothing at all. So, I suppose, with +what is called love. The emotional part of our +nature, which is the absurdest part of all, +finds or fancies itself unemployed: a void craves +and aches in the breast, and the man, as an old +farmer once expressed it, is 'kinder lovesick +for suthin he ain't got and dunno what.' +Almost any material of the other sex, if you +allow a little for taste and temperament, will +fill the void—in a way, and for a time at least. +Darby marries Joan and is content, though any +other woman would have served his turn as well. +With us of the finer feelings and higher +standards, the only difference is that we rant +more and sophisticate more, as belongs to our +wider range. No one ever felt thus before—because +the feeling is new to us, and newer +each time it comes: so Festus protests to each +successive mistress, perjuring himself in all +sincerity. Nor was any mistress ever so beautiful +and divine as this one, appointed to possess +and be adored by us. All that is purely a +mental exercise: carry the illusion a little farther, +and it might be practised as well on a milliner's +lay-figure. 'He that loves a coral cheek or a +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[162]</a></span> +ruby lip admires' is simply a red hot donkey, Bob. +Nature provides the imbecile desire, Propinquity +furnishes an object at random. Imagination +does all the rest."</p> + +<p>"Just so, Jim. I am glad to find you again +capable of such lucid and exhaustive analysis. +But how about what is called <i>falling</i> in love, +when the wild ass has not been craving to have +his void filled up at all, but is suddenly brought +down unawares by an Amazonian arrow?"</p> + +<p>"He was no less a donkey that he didn't +know it, and it only comes harder for him. +The fool ought to have been better acquainted +with his own interior condition; then he might +have eased his descent to his royal thistle, secured +his repast or gone without it, and got +back to his stable with a whole skin. Otherwise +it is just the same. The heart is an idiot baby, +Robert: it feeds on pap and thinks it is guzzling +nectar on Olympus."</p> + +<p>"Exactly, James; exactly. As you say, it is +our fertile fancy that does it all. You and I +can conjure up women far more charming than +we ever met on brick or carpet. If we only +had the raw material and knew how to work it +up, we could beat these flesh and blood girls +off the field before breakfast. Their merits +and attractions are mainly such as we generously +invest them with; and often they take a mean +advantage of our kindness."</p> + +<p>I glanced at him sideways, and he flushed +and winced. "I would not derogate from +women, nor rate myself so high. I meant only +that we imagine—well, monstrous heaps of +nonsense. For instance, we often fancy that +they care for us when they don't—and whose +fault is that but ours? There's a deal of rot +talked about lords of creation—when a man +isn't able to be lord of himself. O, women are +very well in their way: I've nothing against +them. They are just as good as we—better, +very likely; and wiser, for they don't idealize +us as we do them."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[163]</a></span> +"Yes, but this idealizing faculty is a very +useful one to have. I see you must have found +a Blowsalinda on some of these hill farms:—why, +man, you're as red as her father's beets. +I congratulate you, Jim: I do, heartily. As you +say, the tender passion is merely a spark struck +by the flint of Opportunity on the steel of +Desire; and for the rest, you can enrich her +practical native virtues with the golden hues of +your imagination. She'll suit you just as well +as any of these proud cityfied damsels—after +you've sent her a term or two to boarding +school; and she'll be more content to stay up +here than the city girl would."</p> + +<p>I paused to view my work, and was satisfied. +The shadows of wrath and disgust were chasing +each other over my friend's intelligent countenance. +You see, I get so browbeaten at home +that I must avenge myself on somebody now +and then; and of course, it has to be a man. +And then it is all for Jim's good, and he deserves +all he is getting. So I went on.</p> + +<p>"But seeing this is so, Jim, you ought to be +content; and what means all your wild talk of +last night and this morning, as if you had +something on your conscience? You haven't—you +wouldn't—No, you're not that kind of +a man. Well then, what in thunder have you +been making all this fuss about, and pitching +into me for?"</p> + +<p>He suppressed something with a gulp: I +think it was not an expression of gratitude or +affection. "Confound you, Bob; one never +knows how to take you. In the name of +Satan and all the devils, what are you after +now?"</p> + +<p>"I'm not after anything in the name of the +gentlemen you mention; they are no friends of +mine, nor objects of my regard. Put a better +name on it, and I'm after getting you to say +what you mean, as we agreed—though it seems +to be hard work. Who's playing tricks upon +travellers, and misleading a confiding friend +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[164]</a></span> +now? I never knew such a man for beating +about the bush, and talking nonsense." (I +remembered this apothegm of Jane's, which +sounded well, and fitted in nicely just +here.)</p> + +<p>He appeared to take himself to pieces, shake +them well, and put them together carefully, +before he spoke. "Perhaps my language was +obscure, or even enigmatical; but I thought +you might understand. Forgive me if I have +been harsh, Bob, not to say uncivil: I have +gone through a good deal, until I hardly know +myself. It is base enough for a man to be thus +at the mercy of mere externals—and I used to +think I could practice the Stoic doctrine! But +to be human is to be a pitiable, and, if you like, +a despicable creature. I knew a case that may +serve in a way to explain—not to justify—my +treatment of you. Say it was years ago; the +man met, in a friend's house, a lady who +showed him the utmost kindness. She was +used to all deference, till she and every one regarded +it as her right—as it was. And he—it's +not pleasant to tell—he ended by insulting her. +I always understood how that fellow never could +bear to mention her name, nor to hear it; how +any reminder of her, or contact with the friends +through whom <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'he met he met'">he met</ins> her, would upset +him. He would get confused, and some of his +self-reproaches would fall on the wrong heads. +I suppose you never knew how that could be, +Bob."</p> + +<p>"I never was in exactly such a scrape as that; +but I've been near enough to imagine, and +make allowances. Your friend must have +thought a good deal of the lady, in spite +of his insulting her. He apologized, of +course?"</p> + +<p>"Certainly, and then took himself off, and +kept out of her way ever after. It was all he +could do."</p> + +<p>"Just how did he insult her? It could +hardly have been intentional."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[165]</a></span> +"O no. He had had misfortunes, or <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'some thing'">something</ins> +of the kind, and she took a humane interest +in him—tried to help him, no doubt. +Women often do such things, I believe; it is +very creditable to them, but liable to be +dangerous in a case like this, for men are sometimes +fools enough to misinterpret it. Well, +this particular beast took it into his wooden +head that she cared for him—in a personal +way, you know; and—you wouldn't think a +man could be such an infernal ape, would you?—he +told her so."</p> + +<p>"He planned beforehand to tell her so—thought +that was the right card to play, the +proper way of wooing?"</p> + +<p>"You make him worse than he was. It came +out unawares—he was surprised into it. The +conversation took a certain turn, and he misunderstood +for a moment. That was all, and +it was quite enough."</p> + +<p>"What did the lady do then?"</p> + +<p>"She was naturally and properly indignant +and contemptuous; made him see his place. +He took it, and took his departure."</p> + +<p>"Did it never enter your friend's wise head +that he might have mismanaged the affair in +some other way than the one you mention; for +instance, in going off so speedily?"</p> + +<p>"No other course was possible. Enough of +this, Bob: he bore the penalty of his offence."</p> + +<p>"Excuse me: it's a curious case, and as a +student of human nature I like to study such, +and master all the facts. You say it never +occurred to him that the worst part of his +offence might be his levanting in such haste? +that it might have been a more appropriate +act of penitence to wait a day, or five minutes, +and give the lady a chance to forgive +him?"</p> + +<p>"How can you make such low suggestions? +The man was not a scoundrel at heart: at least +he had always passed for a gentleman before, +and thought himself such."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[166]</a></span> +"For one who goes about insulting ladies, he +was a singularly modest youth. So he never +thought afterwards that there might have been +a basis of fact for the fancy that made the +trouble?"</p> + +<p>"Drop the subject, will you? I brought it +in merely as an illustration, that you might +see how a man can be affected—even his character +changed—by the recollection of such a +blunder. It would destroy his self-respect."</p> + +<p>"Naturally. But self-respect is too good a +thing to lose forever, and this illustration of +yours may serve to pass the time till you are +ready to talk of your own affairs, which you +say it somehow illustrates. Did your friend +never think that the girl might have led him +on, either seriously or for mere amusement? +If she did, that would be some excuse for +him."</p> + +<p>"I tell you he was not that kind of a blackguard. +All sorts of thoughts will offer themselves +to a man in such a state of mind, I suppose; +but he knew her too well to admit any +that lowered her. O no, he saw the fault was +all his. At the moment he was bewildered, +and could not realize the sudden change, nor +what he had done; so his apology (if I remember +that part of his story) may have been inadequate +in manner, however suitable in words. +Apart from that, which could not be mended +afterwards, he did all he possibly could."</p> + +<p>"I beg to differ, Jim. I think this fellow +did much worse than you seem to realize. +Stare as much as you like: if he is still a +friend of yours, I am sorry for him, as for one +who has committed a most outrageous blunder +and a nearly unpardonable wrong. What right +had he to think of himself alone? You say +the girl had shown goodness of heart, and a +real interest in him? Then suppose the interest +went no further than he thought: what business +had he to burden her mind with a broken +friendship and the feeling that she had helped +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[167]</a></span> +to spoil his life? Or suppose the interest in +him did go further. What do you and he +know about a woman's feelings?"</p> + +<p>He was pale now, and wild in the eyes. +"Your last supposition is impossible. For the +other—you may possibly be right. He never +thought she would care—or that he could +do anything but what he did."</p> + +<p>"A nice lot he is then. If I were you, I +would write to him to-morrow and give him a +lecture—supposing they are both alive and free. +And if this affair was anyway parallel to your +own, of which you won't talk, I hope it may +be a lesson to you—a warning, if you need +one. Do you suppose women, of the high-minded +and superior sort, have no hearts, no +consciences, no sense of the duties of humanity? +They have a blanked sight more than you and +your friend seem to have, I can tell you. +You'd better sleep on this, and wake with +some enlarged ideas. As you decline to tell +me anything of yourself, and so I can't help +you there, I'm going to bed."</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[168]</a></span></p> + +<h3><a name="Submission" id="Submission"></a>XXIX.</h3> + +<h4>SUBMISSION.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">Next</span> day Jim was haggard and restless, and +wanted to potter about the house. I took him +to the largest stream in those parts, when our +rods came in play; and there he did some of +the worst fishing I ever saw—worse than I did +in May, when I had him on my mind. He +has himself on his mind now, and some one else +too. He kept trying to talk, which is impossible +when you are wading. After he had lost a +two-pounder and fallen into a deep hole, I got +out on the bank to avoid a place where the +water went down hill too fast—something between +rapids and a cascade. He came and sat +on a log by me, looking disconsolate.</p> + +<p>"Jim," I said, "You're pretty wet. Perhaps +you'd better go home and write that letter."</p> + +<p>"I don't see my way yet. How can you be +so positive?"</p> + +<p>"Because I've heard the story before, and +know more about it than you do. I had a +friend who was there at the time too. O, it +caused some talk, I can tell you. Did your +hero suppose it would interest nobody but himself?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, as I told you. Good heavens! You +don't mean—"</p> + +<p>"O, no public talk; only the family, and +people who knew the facts and could be trusted. +They were all sorry for him too; they thought +he was such an ass. You see a performance +like his can't end where it begins; it has consequences."</p> + +<p>"You say, 'for him too.' They couldn't be +sorry for the lady—why should they?"</p> + +<p>"You are pigheaded, Jim. What did I tell +you last night? This thing put its mark on +her, in a way no man has a right to mark a +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[169]</a></span> +woman without her consent. See that trout +jump, in the pool down yonder? I must get +him."</p> + +<p>"Wait a moment. What I told you about +could not have been known unless the lady told +it; and she was not of that sort. I don't understand."</p> + +<p>"Decidedly you don't. I can't waste a day +like this on second-hand gossip, Jim; as you +said yesterday, the evening is the time for talk. +You go home and change your clothes and rest +your brain. I know my way here, and I want +to fill my basket. I'll get back in time for +supper. Here, you can take these."</p> + +<p>And so I sent him off. He is biddable and +humble now, and will be more so presently; in +a kind of transition state, he is. He came +back in the afternoon, and sat on the bank +while I pulled out the biggest fish yet. I +carried home the best basket we've had; not so +many specimens, but far finer ones, than from +that Devil's Brook in the Land Accursed. +In fishing, as in other things, a good deal depends +on your state of mind.</p> + +<p>That evening I dressed for dinner, as far as I +could, like a gentleman; not that any visitors +were likely to drop in, but I thought it due to +the occasion. Jim, having plenty of leisure +at command, and noting my manœuvres, did +the same. He ate little, but I paid due attention +to the trout and claret, and took my time +to it; though we do not have a lot of courses +and ceremony at meals up here, nor are such +necessary. Then we settled ourselves in easy +chairs before the great fireplace, where pine +logs were roaring: the nights are cold now, and +this is one comfort of these out-of-the-way +places, where fuel is plenty.</p> + +<p>As soon as he had a chance, he began. +"There is some mystery about this, Bob. You +wouldn't answer my question this morning."</p> + +<p>"Now that I have dined, James, I'll answer +any questions you like—provided they are such +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[170]</a></span> +as may fitly be put to the father of a family. +So fire away."</p> + +<p>"First then, how do you come to know so +much about this?"</p> + +<p>"Because I was there. O, not eavesdropping, +not as a spy—that is out of my line; but purely, +and luckily as it proves, by accident." And +I told him all about it. I will not say that his +jaw dropped, but his facial apparatus elongated.</p> + +<p>"Then Cl—she knows that you know?"</p> + +<p>"Not a word. What do you take me for? +How could I tell her?"</p> + +<p>"But—the others know?"</p> + +<p>"Certainly not. You have the most extraordinary +notions, Hartman. It was her secret, +not theirs. If you had been in my place, perhaps +you would have written to the papers, or +told the story at family prayers. Can't you see +that it was impossible for me to let her know +till I had had it out with you?"</p> + +<p>"And you have stood by me, knowing all +this—you are still my friend?"</p> + +<p>"Well, if I had had merely myself to consider, +my natural loathing and contempt for the +beast, ape, idiot and scoundrel who was capable +of such conduct might have led me to extremities. +O, I endorse all the compliments you +have paid yourself. But there is my interesting +family; the twins have quite a regard for +you, and Herbert. And so has my wife; she +doesn't know you as well as I do. And my +sister—a superior person, though too soft-hearted, +whom I cherish with a deep fraternal +affection—she has been besieging me with intercessions, +and melting my obduracy with her +tears; and that for one who has made all this +coil, and whose qualities have been too well +enumerated by himself."</p> + +<p>"I will try to be more deserving of her kindness, +Bob: I told you she was the right sort. +But you said just now they did not know."</p> + +<p>"Only by surmise, and inference from your +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[171]</a></span> +hasty departure, and from—subsequent developments. +Women are not wholly fools, Jim: +they are just as good as we; perhaps better, +and sometimes wiser. O, they are very well in +their way. Let us bear with them, James, and +allow for their redeeming traits."</p> + +<p>"Don't hit a man with his own words when +he is down, Bob. But—there is Another, whom +you've not mentioned."</p> + +<p>"So there is: you didn't mention her, either. +Come to think of it, there is another member +of my household, whom we have overlooked in +this discussion, yet to whom I owe some sort of +consideration."</p> + +<p>"Of course I know who is first with you: I +am content to come in a bad second. You +haven't—I suppose—any word—from Her?"</p> + +<p>"What do you take her for? Ladies can't +do that sort of thing. See here, Hartman, +don't get on that line again. She is used to +due respect."</p> + +<p>His face fell. "I know: I mean nothing +else. What have you to say to me then?"</p> + +<p>"Say? Haven't I said enough? Confound +you, it's your turn to say things now."</p> + +<p>"I thought I had said a good deal. O, I am +ready to make my submission, if it will do any +good. Imagine the rest, can't you? Don't be +playing your games on me now, Bob."</p> + +<p>There was a tone of pathos in this: I took a +good look at him, and saw that he was doing +the contrite as well as I could expect. He will +do it better without a middleman when he gets +the chance; he'll hardly lapse into the other +style again soon. All I have to do is to secure +her position meanwhile.</p> + +<p>"Well, what comes next? I believe I am on +the witness-stand now."</p> + +<p>"Tell me about Her, Bob."</p> + +<p>"She is changed. Of old, one never knew +what to expect of her. Now she is different. +No stale customs about her, my boy."</p> + +<p>"'Nor custom stale her infinite variety,' I +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[172]</a></span> +suppose you mean. Yes, so I found—but that +was my own fault. Some might prefer your +version. But you don't imply—"</p> + +<p>"No, I don't. You must find out for yourself +about that. I thought you knew that she +is chary of her confidences, and that none of us +is given to seeking them. She has mentioned +your name once in all this time, and then to +say that you and I were great clumsy things—which +is true; measurably of me, of you most +eminently."</p> + +<p>"What chance is there for me then?" He +was discouraged again. Jim is so foolish; he +gets exalted and depressed on the slightest +provocation. Perhaps I was like that once, +but it was long ago.</p> + +<p>"Well, she knows I am here; do you suppose +I would have come if she objected? Make +what you can out of that.—You needn't make +too much of it either: go slow, now. You see +she doesn't like to be thwarted in her benevolent +plans; and you were a wild man, to be +reclaimed and civilized. Instead of submitting +like a decent savage, you broke loose all at +once, and left her to feel that she had done +you harm instead of good. You are the only +fellow who ever gave her any trouble: I can't +see how you had the cheek to do it. Why, +man, you have got to learn manners if you +want to associate with that kind. She could +do better than you any day; but a wilful +woman must have her way, and a gentleman +usually lets her have it.—Now there you go +again. I didn't say what her way might be in +this case, did I? How should I know what she +wants of you? Probably just to smooth you +down, and be friends, and see you behave. The +other supposition, as you said last night, is too +wildly impossible. You ought to be glad to +meet her on any terms she may choose to make, +and thankful and proud to undergo any penance +of her imposing, after your conduct, and +the annoyance it has caused her and all of us. +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[173]</a></span> +Most women, in her place, would let you stay +in the woods and eat your heart out. Perhaps +she will yet; you needn't look so pleased. All +I know is that you owe her reparation. You +ought to go on your knees from here to the +avenue, even if you have to come back on foot."</p> + +<p>"You have gained in insight since August, +Bob. You express my views with accuracy—though +one can hardly talk of these matters to +another man. I always honored you for holding +Her in such esteem. But practically, what +am I to do?"</p> + +<p>"That is not easy to say, James: it can +hardly be plain sailing. If women were not +more forgiving than we, bless their little hearts, +you would have no chance to do anything. +And the finer grain they are of, the more embarrassing +it becomes; with her sort it is +peculiarly difficult. I know, from long and +trying experience; I have to mind my p's and +q's, I tell you. If you had taken up with one +of these farmers' daughters, as you nearly led +me to believe last night—there's nothing to +get mad about—it would have been much +simpler and easier for you. If it were that +other man, I should say to him, Write to the +lady, if you think that safe: I don't advise it. +But if you had a friend who knew her well, +and was a person of capacity and resource and +great tact and approved discretion, and willing +to employ all these qualities in your service—"</p> + +<p>"O, I'll leave the affair in your hands: I +don't see what else I can do. I'm everlastingly +obliged to you, of course."</p> + +<p>"Yes, I should think you would be; a nice +mess you'd make of it by yourself. You have +no idea how this thing has weighed on my mind +ever since you left us at Newport; nor how +awkward it is, even for me, to approach a girl +of her sensitive pride and highminded delicacy +on such a subject. But I'm ready to go on +suffering in your cause, James, even if it be for +years."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[174]</a></span> +"I hope it won't take as long as that. Hurry +it up, old man, now you've got a start. Don't +let the injury to Her and the weight on my +conscience go on accumulating. What you do, +do quickly."</p> + +<p>"So you'd like me to rush off <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'to-morow'">to-morrow</ins>? +There's gratitude. No, sir; I must think the +matter over, and I may have to consult you +about details. Besides, they are all exercised +about my health, and expect me to make my +week out. Your case is not a strong one, +James; all depends on the way it is put. I +will not ruin it by indecent pressure or undue +haste. Leave it to me, and let sweet sleep revisit +the weary head whence she has fled so +long. In simpler language, keep still and do as +I tell you, and don't bother."</p> + +<p>I took pen and ink to my room, and indited +a home epistle. It informed Mabel that I was +progressing toward recovery, and expected to +ship some large trout, carefully packed in ice; +also that she was a true prophet, and the other +business in hand was moving just as she had +foretold. I enclosed a brief note to Clarice, +which said simply, "O. K. Ever thine," and +signed it with my initials and Jim's: and a +cartoon for Jane, which I sat up late to design +and execute. It represented a small lover, +transfixed with a large arrow, prostrating himself +before a Haughty Damsel of High Degree. +This work of art, with the subjoined effusions, +will keep up their spirits till I get home.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[175]</a></span></p> + +<h3><a name="Wasted_Advice" id="Wasted_Advice"></a>XXX.</h3> + +<h4>WASTED ADVICE.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">I will</span> not tell you what more we did that +week, nor how many wagonloads of big game +we bagged when we sallied forth with guns to +make war upon the monarchs of the forest: +perhaps their hides and horns are on view in +my library, and perhaps not. Nor will you +expect any more scenery of me, seeing how I +have groaned and sweated to produce the pen-pictures +you have already enjoyed: I don't +desire to advertise Jim's retreat too much, and +spoil its seclusion. He was impatient and +restive, but feeling much better than when I +came, and ready to do anything I wished—of +course. But he wanted to talk all the time, +and ask questions: he kept me busy pacifying +him, till I was tired. Rational conversation +on serious subjects is good, but to be thus +forever harping on small personal feelings and +relations makes one realize that Silence is +Golden. Clarice never acts in that way: I wish +Jim would have some occasional flashes of +taciturnity, like Macaulay.</p> + +<p>The day before I left, while we were burying +a calf I had shot by mistake, he said, "Bob, do +you remember my asking you once, in a purely +suppositious way, what you would do if I were +to quarrel with—Her?"</p> + +<p>"O yes. But the farmer that owned this +late lamented beast ought to be paid for it."</p> + +<p>"Never mind that. I'll attend to it after +you're gone, and save your feelings. Well, you +said you'd stand by both of us."</p> + +<p>"Hang my feelings: do you suppose I expend +feelings on a misguided heifer? It got in the +bushes where you said I might look for a deer, +and here's a ten on account; you can write me +if it costs more. My sympathies, James, are +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[176]</a></span> +reserved for nobler animals when they make +worse mistakes."</p> + +<p>"Yes, as I have proved. You've kept your +word; but you were pretty rough on me."</p> + +<p>"Your conduct was pretty rough on all of +us. I had to open your eyes; and I don't want +you to try those tricks again. If you do, I +may have to shoot you by mistake."</p> + +<p>"You would have been welcome to shoot me +last week. Why did you leave me so long in +the dark, Bob?"</p> + +<p>"O, the deuce! Were explanations due from +our side? It's true you need somebody to take +care of you; but, you see, I have others to look +after, and so can't devote myself exclusively to +you: you'd better get a keeper. It was Jane +who urged my coming up here. I always meant +to, but I couldn't till Clarice suggested it."</p> + +<p>"She suggested it, did she? You never told +me that before."</p> + +<p>"I ought not to have told you now, if it makes +you fly off the handle in this way. She merely +said to Mabel, no doubt in all sincerity, that I +looked badly and needed a change; she said +nothing about my coming here. She has a +regard for me; whether you are anybody in her +eyes remains to be seen. Don't jump to conclusions, +now. The Princess is not a person +to take liberties with, as I've learned by repeated +lessons."</p> + +<p>"I know it, Bob: one lesson is enough for +me. I suppose it would hardly do for me to go +back with you?"</p> + +<p>"Hardly. Personally I should be delighted, +and so would some others; but—you know as +well as I do. I have got to feel somebody's +pulse, and proceed very gingerly. Possess your +soul in what patience you can till you hear +from me. See here, Hartman; with your +views, and your well-grounded aversion to domestic +and even social life, a little of this sort +of thing ought to go a long way. I should +think you'd be unwilling to risk contact with +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[177]</a></span> +the world again. A child that will play about the +cars, you know, after it's once been run over—"</p> + +<p>"O, but you have opened my eyes to a +sacred duty. Honor is above self-preservation. +I want to purge my conscience, you see."</p> + +<p>"Then do that and pause there. It was your +vaulting ambition which overleaped all bounds +before. If you get into another row, you may +have to stay in it. I have full power of attorney, +you say; well, I may have to make all +sorts of promises for you before I can get you +leave to return to duty, and you'll be expected +to keep them. You don't know how difficult +that will be for your unbridled inexperience; +you'll be cabined, cribbed, confined within +the dull limits of Propriety. It would be much +better for you to be content with a correspondence, +if you can get as far as that. You could +expound your penitence and changed views by +mail, and have time to think what you were +saying, and get it in shape; whereas, if you +plunge into the cold and heartless world again, +you'll probably get into more trouble, and I +can't come up here to set you straight again—not +before next May. You were right, James: +there is nothing in common between you and +the world. Why expose yourself to its temptations, +its dangers, its hollow and soul-wearying +forms? This atmosphere is so much purer; +there is less of Vanity and Woe up here. Stay +where you are well off. Clarice can write a +pretty good letter when she chooses; I'll try to +fix it that way for you." But he would not +accept this reasonable view, and insisted on my +getting permission for him to come down before +Christmas, and as much sooner as possible.</p> + +<p>So nobody but he could drive me to the cars; +he filled the fifteen miles with charges and +reminders. As the train moved off, he was +waving his hat, his face radiant with hope and +pathetic with confidence. He looks ten years +younger than he did last week. A pretty fellow +he is to call himself a Pessimist.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[178]</a></span></p> + +<h3><a name="Results_Reported" id="Results_Reported"></a>XXXI.</h3> + +<h4>RESULTS REPORTED.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">I reached</span> home in the early evening. The +servant told me at the door that Mrs. T. was +in attendance on Master Herbert, who had +fallen over the banisters and injured his nasal +organ. I rushed upstairs: Mabel met me with +no demonstrations of grief or anxiety. "I see +by your face that it is all right—as I always +said it would be. Go to Clarice; she is in the +library. O, Herbert? He fell on his nose, of +course; he always does. It is not at all serious. +The dear child has been feeling better since we +heard from you, and taking more exercise. +Clarice has the first right to your news."</p> + +<p>I found her, and dropped on my knees. +She looked at me, not so sweetly as of late. +"Get up, Robert, I thought I had cured you of +your bad habit of untimely jesting."</p> + +<p>"You have. I realize the solemnity of the +occasion, if you do not. My name is James—no, +that's not it. I am a representative, an envoy. +You see before you a banished man who +has justly incurred his sovereign's displeasure, +and has repented day and night. This posture, +perhaps unseemly in the father of a family, +expresses the other fellow's state of mind. He's +afraid to come himself, and so he sent me."</p> + +<p>She looked at me again, and saw that I was +serious. You see, these delicate matters have +to be managed delicately. I can't do the unmitigated +tragedy business as well as Hartman +might, and yet I had to meet the requirements +of the situation, and the Princess' expectations, +which are always high. People who have their +own affairs of this kind to conduct might +sometimes avoid painful failures by taking a +leaf out of my book, and mixing the difficult +passages with a little—a very little—chastened +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[179]</a></span> +and judicious humor; then they would avoid +overdoing it, and sending the lady off disgusted.</p> + +<p>"Does he take all the blame?"</p> + +<p>"Absolutely: he did from the first moment. +He can't come here to say so till he's allowed, +and he can't get up till you give him a token +of forgiveness."</p> + +<p>She gave it: it was inexpensive to her, and +soothing to the penitent—or would have been +if he had been there to get it in person. I +took it simply on his account.</p> + +<p>"Keep still now, and let me think."</p> + +<p>I kept still. The attitude of prayer, while +well suited to the lighter forms of ladies, is +inconvenient to a man of my size, and deeply +distressing when I am obliged to maintain it +for more than five minutes; for that reason I +don't go to church as much as I might. But I +had to keep quiet while she did her thinking. +May it be recorded to my credit! I would bear +a good deal for Clarice, and sometimes I have +to.</p> + +<p>At last she finished her cogitations. "O, +get up, Robert; I forgot. What else have you +to tell me? But don't you want some supper?"</p> + +<p>I was as hungry as a bison, but that was a +secondary consideration.</p> + +<p>"The supper can wait while I have your +work to do. I'll tell you anything you care to +know: he wants to have no secrets from you. +But it has all been graphically summed up +already. A famous orator of old told a young +fellow who went to him to learn how to speak +a piece, 'Act it.' That's what I've been +doing the last half hour: I didn't think it +would take so long."</p> + +<p>I rubbed my knees, which were still sore: +the library carpet is reasonably thick, but it +was not built for devotional uses, "I suppose +Hartman would be glad to stay down there all +night if he had the chance. But he'd be awkward +about it—infernally awkward. You see, +he has had no practice in this kind of thing; +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[180]</a></span> +he doesn't know your ways as I do. I wonder +if you will ever get him into as good training +as you have me."</p> + +<p>I put in this light badinage to relieve any +embarrassment she might feel—not that she +could show any such if she tried, but for what +you and I know even she might feel it—and to +let her get used to the situation. But she did +not seem to care for it. "That's enough for +now, Robert. Go and get your supper." She +said this in a weary tone. My heart sank.</p> + +<p>"Princess dear, have I offended you? I +meant it all right. Have I done anything +wrong, and made a mess of this as usual?"</p> + +<p>She gave me her hand. "O no, Bob. But +go now. I'll talk more to you to-morrow."</p> + +<p>Now I thought I had done this up in the +most superior style, and that she would be +pleased for once. But the ways of women are +past man's understanding.</p> + +<p>Jane awaited me in the dining-room with +viands and an anxious brow, and would scarcely +let me appease the cravings of exhausted nature. +She sent the servant out, and ministered +to my wants herself.</p> + +<p>"Brother, you look downcast. Have you +returned with empty hands?"</p> + +<p>"I have brought some of the finest trout you +ever saw—not in mere size perhaps, but in flavor, +colors, and gaminess. You didn't expect me to +carry 'em on a string over my shoulder, did you? +And I would have brought some venison, but you +don't care for it. You told me once that their +eyes were so pretty and plaintive, it was a +shame to kill them. I always try to please you, +so I thought I would let them live.—Yes, +thank you, I have brought back more health +than I took away: I may be able now to stand +the fatigues of business till Thanksgiving.—O, +Hartman? I couldn't bring him along, you +know: where is your sense of propriety? I +advised him to stay up there where he is safe, +and not tempt the shafts and arrows any more. +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[181]</a></span> +What, I 'haven't done anything then, after +all?' O, haven't I! Jane, you are worse than +a serpent's tooth: if Lear had been in my +place, he would have talked about a thankless +sister. It has been a weary, toilsome, painful +task, and few men could have carried it through +to so happy an end. And when I come back +hungering for sympathy—I told you what my +nature was—you meet me with cold words and +suspicious looks. It is enough to make one +weep, and long for the silent grave. If it were +Hartman, you would do the weeping, no doubt. +Yet that man, whom you thus unnaturally set +above your brother—you have no idea of his +harshness, his violence, his embittered prejudice +and obstinacy; nor of the patience and gentleness +and persuasive force with which I expelled +the demons that possessed him, and brought +him to his right mind. O, he has had an +overhauling; he will take care how he does it +again. But he is all right now."</p> + +<p>"I wonder at that, after his being in your +hands for a week. Your tender mercies were +cruel, I fear. What does Clarice say to this? +Is she satisfied?"</p> + +<p>"She ought to be, but she says nothing at +all; couldn't take in the magnitude of my news +at once, most likely. Yet I took pains to break +it to her delicately, and with light touches of +humor, to relieve any strain there might +be."</p> + +<p>"Yes, soothed her nerves as with a nutmeg-grater, +no doubt. You will serenade her next +with tin pans and fish-horns, and think that a +delicate attention. Brother, Clarice does not +share your peculiar view of humor, nor do I. +Mabel tries to comprehend it and to catch your +tone, as is her melancholy duty; but it is hard +work for her. Well, what does Mr. Hartman +say?—Don't tell me anything that is private, +or belongs to Clarice alone."</p> + +<p>"O, you may hear most of it. He says all +sorts of things—anything you like. You see +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[182]</a></span> +he can't be trusted, or trust himself, any +longer, so I have full power to represent him."</p> + +<p>"That is definite, and convenient for you, +whatever it may be to others. Of course a man +will promise anything when he has an object +to gain. I suppose you left him in the depths +of despair and on a pinnacle of ecstasy at +once."</p> + +<p>"That is about it. Let us be thankful that +you and I <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: there is no 'are' in the original">are</ins> well beyond these follies.—My dear, +I wasn't alluding to your age; upon my honor +I wasn't. I only meant that your elevation of +mind and dignity of character lift you far above +such idiotic transports, and give you a right to +despise weak creatures like Jim, and in some +degree even myself. No man is worthy of you, +Jane: you know you never would look at any +of them. What did I tell you about your +looks? Except Clarice, and perhaps I ought +to say Mabel, and a few on the cars, you are by +far the handsomest woman I've seen since I +left home."</p> + +<p>"After your week among the belles of Wayback, +that compliment seems strained. O, I +see: Clarice was not in the right mood just +now, and your tide of geniality rolled back +upon itself, so that it has to break loose on +some one else: or you are to see her again to-morrow, +and must practice smooth things +meantime to say then.—Ah, it is both, is it?"</p> + +<p>"Sister, you are an external conscience—except +that you won't approve when I have done +the right thing, and done it well. You would +be invaluable to Jim. I doubt whether he and +Clarice will get on; and he thinks a heap of +you. If he don't suit her on further inspection, +or makes any more blunders, you might +take him in hand and make a man of him."</p> + +<p>"So as to keep him in reach as material for +you? Robert, if you want me to comfort you +when Clarice is gone, you will have to make +your light humor much lighter yet, and let me +select subjects for its exercise."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[183]</a></span> +"Now, now—do you think I would offer you +secondhand goods? If I had known him then +as I do to-day, I would have let her go off in +June as she proposed, and fixed it the other +way. It would have saved no end of bother."</p> + +<p>"And deprived you of a source of huge +amusement, and an <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'unprecendented'">unprecedented</ins> field for +the display of your peculiar talents. Do you +think men and women are mere puppets for +you to play with? You would make but a poor +tenth-rate Providence—though you may have +succeeded in this case. Tell me how you did +it."</p> + +<p>"I showed him that he was all wrong. He +knew that already, but thought she didn't care. +I told him she did."</p> + +<p>"Robert! You have not betrayed her? Is this +your diplomacy?"</p> + +<p>"Of course not: how you talk, Jane. I said +her interest in him was philanthropic, and he +had behaved with brutal ingratitude—like a +charity patient in the hospital, or a bad boy at +Sunday School; so he ought to yearn to come +back—if she will kindly allow—and give her a +chance to go on reforming him or not, just as +she pleases. I admitted the purely speculative +possibility that it might be otherwise—of a +more personal and commonplace description—just +to encourage him a little; but as he had +said at the start that this chance was practically +nonexistent, I let him think so and dwelt on +the other view, which was new to him, and +impressive. O, I preserved her dignity; that +was the first necessity. If he is cherishing any +hopes of the vulgar, everyday sort, he did not +get them from me."</p> + +<p>"And did he believe all that? If so, I must +have been mistaken in the man."</p> + +<p>"He had to believe it. It was the simple +truth: I merely arranged the colors properly +on his mental canvas. He thinks I am Solon +and Rhadamanthus and Nehemiah in one. +How would you have done it perhaps, when +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[184]</a></span> +you had to hook your fish without letting him +get the bait—induce him to commit himself, +and yet not commit her at all?"</p> + +<p>"I don't know, brother. You could not +have thrown her on his generosity, of course; +she would have killed herself and him and all +of us, rather than take happiness at such a +price—and I can't blame her. Yet she despises +a subterfuge. I would not tell her the +details if I were you; she will not ask for them, +nor want to hear them. It is a queer world: +when such things have to be done—sacrificing +your best friend to insure his welfare, deceiving +him in the interest of one who abhors deception—your +eccentricities may be of more use than +I had hitherto supposed possible."</p> + +<p>I pretended to be deeply pained at this; but +in my heart I knew it was high praise, coming +from Jane. She is not like Clarice; she asked +all manner of questions, and kept me answering +them three mortal hours. Fortunately Mabel +has less curiosity, or I should not have got much +sleep that night, after all my ill-appreciated +labors. But I don't regret what I did for +Hartman; <i>he</i> believes what you tell him.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[185]</a></span></p> + +<h3><a name="Confession" id="Confession"></a>XXXII.</h3> + +<h4>CONFESSION.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">Clarice</span> was not at breakfast next day; but +as I was going out, she met me in the hall. +"Robert, can you come back at four?"</p> + +<p>"At any hour you wish, Princess; or I will +stay now."</p> + +<p>"No, that will be early enough. I will be +in the library."</p> + +<p>Now that is Clarice all over: she is herself +again. No eagerness, no petty curiosity, but a +grand indifference, a statuesque calm, a goddess-like +withdrawal from the affairs and atmosphere +of common mortals. Indeed it is not she who +will ask for details that any other woman would +burn to know: a single question as to the vital +point, and then "what else have you to tell +me?" The rest might keep a day, a week, a +month. Her taste was always for large outlines, +her mind has breadth and grasp and +comprehension; when she seemed to care for +little things, she was at play. In a matter like +this, her secret thoughts are the main element; +what others may think or say or do need be +noticed only as contributing material for them +to work with. What has vexed her all this +time has been that the sacrilege of events had +put one factor in the problem out of reach, +beyond her control: she has been used to having +all she wanted of the earth, and deigning to +want but little of it and to value that little but +lightly. Now that she cares for something at +last, and it is at her call again, she will weigh +and <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'meusure'">measure</ins> the situation, and all its aspects +and possibilities, in the silent council chamber +of her soul, and the decision will go forth before +any one ventures to ask what it may be. Stay +in your cave, hermit of Wayback, and say your +<i>Ave Clarissa</i> as patiently as you can: when the +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[186]</a></span> +edict calls you to court, your part will be cast +for you, and you will have nothing to do but +say the lines. If you break bounds again and +stray from your proper posture before the throne, +or put in any more of your irreverent gags, I +am done with you.</p> + +<p>I have wrought your will, my Princess, and +brought back your pretty toy, for you to mend +or break: you hardly mean to break it. Yet +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'is'">it</ins> is a pity to see you descend to common uses, +to ordering a house and taking care of poor old +Jim; you were born to shine apart in solitary +state, and have men gaze at you wistfully from +far below. No man can rate more highly than +I the domestic relations, affections, virtues; but +I don't like to see you put yourself in the category +of mere human beings, as if marriage and +a man were good enough for you. You will +have your way, now as always, and use me at +your will: it is you who have the ordering of +this funeral, not I.</p> + +<p>As she did not seem to like my style last +night, I had better be sober and plain this +afternoon; sort of Quaker thee and thou, without +artistic embellishments. Yes, by Jove, I'll +have to be, for there's the guilty secret to be +unloaded. There <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'is is'">is</ins> no excuse for keeping +it to myself any longer, now Jim has it; sooner +or later she must know that I've known all along +what was not meant for me, and it may as well +be done now, whatever the result. It will not +please her, but I can't help that. I will not +break my word and keep a thing from her, +except as there is reason; to tell it can do no +great harm now, unless to me—and that is a +minor matter.</p> + +<p>At the hour appointed I was on deck: no +one ever interrupts the Princess, and we were +undisturbed. "Robert, I had better hear your +report. Cut it short, please; give me a condensed +outline merely."</p> + +<p>What did I tell you? This was said with an +air as if she were discharging an unwelcome +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[187]</a></span> +duty, so that I might not feel neglected. She +evidently resents the impertinence of circumstances +in forcing her to allow me to have a +hand in her private matters: it will be as much +as I can expect if she forgives me for meddling. +Obeying orders, I endeavored to be brief and +business-like.</p> + +<p>"He has had a bad time of it, Clarice. He +was a changed man when I got there—rough +and morose and unmanageable; kept hinting +at some mysterious crime he had committed. +It was a day or two before I could bring him to +book, by methods on which I need not dwell. +Detective work is not a nice business; the +means has to take its justification from the end. +He made his confession as if it were another's; +said how superior you were, and how basely he +had repaid your condescension. He thought +that ended the affair, except for his lifelong +remorse; hoped he might die soon; impossible +to be forgiven, or regarded by you in any light +but that of a loathsome object—regular stage +part, you know, but perfectly sincere: if you +like innocence, he can supply a first-class article. +I put a head on him by saying his behavior +had been much more flagrant than he +realized, and the worst part of it was interfering +with your plans and going off in such a +hurry; that ladies like to be consulted in such +cases, and sometimes to administer divine forgiveness, +or at least punish the transgressor in +their own way, and not leave it all to him.—You +need not look at me like that, Princess. +I know nothing of your feelings, and told him +so. Of course I maintained your dignity: what +else was I there for? And so, to do him +justice, did he, as far as he knows how. He is +just where you like to have them—or would if +you cared enough about them. After I had +enlightened him as to his duty, it was all +simple. I gave him just sufficient hope—of +pardon, I mean—to keep him alive, and turn +his despair to active penitence. The game is +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[188]</a></span> +entirely in your hands now. He was on fire +to come back with me, or to write at once. I +said he must take no more liberties, but wait for +permission. If I may venture a suggestion, +you might let me tell him to write you; then +you can graciously allow him to come when +you are ready for him."</p> + +<p>That I may call a succinct and lucid narrative. +She listened to it with clear eyes like +Portia, as if she were a judge and had to hear +such cases every day. Now for questions: I +bet odds there will not be more than three, and +those straight to the heart of my discourse—nothing +irrelevant, or secondary, or sentimental.</p> + +<p>"Did he say what had been his offence?"</p> + +<p>"Presumption. He insulted you—though +of course he didn't mean to—and you very +properly resented it and withered him with +contempt. He never understood, till I made +him see it, that what he did next was worse +than this, as emphasizing the wrong and making +it—for a while—irrevocable."</p> + +<p>Her eyes were like judgment lightnings now, +that might burn through the darkness and +bring out all hidden things. Luckily I had +nothing to hide; or rather I was about to make +a clean breast of it.</p> + +<p>"How were you able to speak so positively?"</p> + +<p>"That is what he asked me, and therein lay +such power as I had to master him; at least it +was the chief weapon in my arsenal. I answer +you as I answered him: By knowing more +about the matter than he did. Princess, I +have deceived you all along, and broken my +promise to tell you everything. I saw and +overheard the quarrel." And then I told her +all about it.</p> + +<p>She looked at me silently, with an expression +I never saw before. I turned away, as one +turns from the sun in his strength. I was sitting +on a stool beside her, and I suppose my +head went down. Suddenly a hand was on my +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[189]</a></span> +forehead, pushing it back. "Robert, look +at me. What was your motive in keeping this +from me?"</p> + +<p>"O, the motives were mixed; they always +are. There was my dread of offending you; +that was selfish. And more than that, I did +not want to hurt you, if it could be avoided. +And most, I was not willing to complicate the +trouble, and all but certainly make it worse. +It seemed to me that you would be shocked, +and disgusted, and enraged to know that a +third person had intruded on so private a scene, +and surprised a secret that belonged to you. +Don't fancy that I was blaming you; that was +my rough guess at how any woman would feel, +most of all you: perhaps I was wrong. I +thought that for you to know might widen +the breach, and destroy all chance of reconciliation. +I had to think of him, as well as of +you. Not as well, no; not as much—you know +that; but of him too. I could not tell you till +I had told him, and made the matter right—if +you will have it so. You will not let it turn +you against him now—this fact that I was +there? It was not his fault: it was an accident, +and I am the only one to blame. I +did the best I could, after such lights as I +had."</p> + +<p>Still the great eyes kept burning into mine; +but they did not hurt so much as I had expected. +"Did you tell Mabel and Jane of +this?"</p> + +<p>"How could I? It was your secret. What +do you take me for, Clarice? I never breathed +a word of it, of course, until I had it out with +Jim a week ago, and brought him to his senses: +after that I thought you ought to know. +Mabel and Jane never dreamed that I knew +anything beyond what little you might have +told me, or let me see."</p> + +<p>Her arms were round my neck now. There +was a minute or two of silence: I really did not +know what to say next. Then she looked up, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[190]</a></span> +tears in her eyes, a tone I never could describe +in her voice.</p> + +<p>"And you have done all this for me, Robert!"</p> + +<p>I made a feeble attempt to unloose her hands +and draw myself up. "Don't talk that way, +Clarice; it hurts me. You make too much of +this; it was a matter of course, and there is +nothing new in it. I thought you knew I was +always ready to do anything I could for you: +that is an old story, as you used to say."</p> + +<p>The effort at dignity was not successful, for +her head drooped again. Soon she raised it, a +smile chasing the tears away.</p> + +<p>"You can triumph over Jane now. She +used to say you never could keep a secret. Did +you enjoy keeping this one, Bob?"</p> + +<p>"Not exactly. I will keep some more if you +insist on it, but it would be more enjoyable if +they were of another sort. No more like this, +if it is the same to you."</p> + +<p>"You said you used this as a weapon to +master him with. Why didn't you use it on +me? It might have been good for me to be +mastered and overruled."</p> + +<p>I had to laugh now. "Jim can try that by +and by—if he dares. Other men may overrule +other women, perhaps; I know my place too +well. Clarice, it is not like you to talk nonsense. +If I could have consulted you about +this—how to keep the secret, and what to do +with it—it would have made things easier for +me, but unhappily that was not feasible. You +don't mean it would have done good instead of +harm if I had told you earlier?"</p> + +<p>"I doubt it. No, you were right. Brother, +there is so much more of you than any of us +thought!"</p> + +<p>"So Hartman has found. But I don't want +to be unduly exalted. Love is better than +pride, and this trouble of yours has brought us +all closer together, I believe. There is only +one thing to be done yet."</p> + +<p>"No; two at least. Robert, you deserve to +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[191]</a></span> +know everything. I will tell you what we +were talking about that wretched day, so that +you may see what excuse there was for him, +and how wrong I was. And then you can tell +Jane and Mabel."</p> + +<p>"I don't want to know, my dear, nor is there +any need to tell them anything. None of us +desire to pry into your affairs, but only to see +them set right. It was plain <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'that that'">that</ins> something +led up to poor Jim's blunder, and that is +enough. You can tell Mabel and Jane what +you like before he comes back,—though they +won't ask it.—I will overrule you for once, as +you insist. You want to put a force upon +yourself for my sake, and I will not have it; +not another word of that. But—and in this +case I am not overruling, but only suggesting—Jim +is waiting all this time. May I tell him +that he can write to you?"</p> + +<p>"Not just yet. You have opened my eyes as +well as his, Bob; <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: you're">you've</ins> revealed so many +masculine virtues that I must take them in by +degrees. You've been keeping yourself in the +background and putting him forward, as if I +could be interested in one person only. Now +let him wait a day or two, while I think about +you."</p> + +<p>There may have been more of these exchanges, +which I do not care to repeat. What +goes on in the domestic circle is essentially of +a private nature, too intimate and sacred to be +whispered into the general ear. There are +persons who will violate these holy confidences, +and tell you what he said and she said when +the doors were shut. I am not like them. If +I appear at times to break my own rule and +treat you as a member of the household, it is +merely for your improvement, that you may +see (as I told Jim last summer) how things are +arranged in a christian family: and especially +that, when any trouble of this kind invades +your own humble roof, you may know how to +slay the lion and extract strength and sweetness +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[192]</a></span> +from his carcass, as I have done. Should these +pages instruct but a single brother, whether by +nature or adoption, how to unwind his sister's +tangled affairs and bring them to a prosperous +conclusion, I shall not have penned them in +vain.</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="A_Family_Conclave" id="A_Family_Conclave"></a>XXXIII.</h3> + +<h4>A FAMILY CONCLAVE.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">I had</span> written to Hartman more than once +since my return, telling him to keep up his +spirits and bide his time. Before long came +the permission to open a correspondence with a +more important person than I. What he +wrote I know not; he is probably able to do +that well enough, whatever blunders he may +commit when face to face. I have reason to +believe his outpouring was answered, with excessive +brevity but to the purpose, in the one +word, 'Come.' In fact, the Princess declined +(and very properly) to expend a postage-stamp +on him, or to gratify him with an envelope of +her own inditing, but told me to enclose this +minute but inflammatory document in non-explosive +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'wrapings'">wrappings</ins> of my own.</p> + +<p>He was to arrive on a certain day in late +November. The evening previous, as we were +sitting together, Clarice—who generally prefers +her own society, and I can't blame her—appeared, +in our midst (if that expression is allowable), +with an aspect of grim determination. +I rose to give her a chair in the corner, but she +sat down where she could see us and we could +look at her. We did so, anxiously expectant, +for this was a most unusual proceeding; and I +inwardly resolved to make it easier for her than +she meant to have it. She began with the air +of an orator who reluctantly emerges from seclusion +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[193]</a></span> +at his country's call, constrained to +deliver matter of pith and moment.</p> + +<p>"It is no news that you all have shown me +kindness such as passes all acknowledgment—"</p> + +<p>She was not allowed to proceed without +hindrance. Jane put forth an interrupting +hand, which the speaker seized and imprisoned +in her own: not that Clarice's is bigger than +Jane's, but it possesses some muscular force. +Mabel opened her lips, and one of us—I will +not say which—was obliged to remind her that +Miss Elliston had the floor.</p> + +<p>"It is not in me to be demonstrative, and I +have seemed cold and thankless—"</p> + +<p>"We knew you better than that, dear," came +from both.</p> + +<p>"—But I knew, I felt it all. Never did a +girl without natural protectors—"</p> + +<p>"But you can have a natural protector whenever +you like," cried Mabel. "You might +have had any number of them, for years past."</p> + +<p>"Well, with or without, no girl ever had, or +could have had, more faithful affection and +delicate <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'consideraton'">consideration</ins> shown her than I. I have +given you a great deal of trouble, and you never +complained. I have come between you and +friends—"</p> + +<p>"My dear," Mabel interposed again, "that is +all right. Our friends will come back." And +she nodded and looked like a female Solomon, +while Jane whispered something and put her +disengaged arm around the orator.</p> + +<p>"Don't interrupt me any more, please. You +know it is not easy for me to talk of these +matters—"</p> + +<p>"That is so," said I. "It is rarely we get +a speech from Clarice on any subject. Do keep +quiet, all of you, and let the poor girl go +on."</p> + +<p>"But now I must tell you something you +have no idea of."</p> + +<p>Here the female portion of the audience +pricked up their ears, and I began to be nervous. +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[194]</a></span> +"It is about Mr. Hartman's going away +in August. That was all my fault."</p> + +<p>"Don't you believe her," said I. "He says +it was all his fault."</p> + +<p>"Do be quiet, Robert. He is coming to-morrow, +and justice must be done him. I +treated him very badly, and—"</p> + +<p>"She didn't," said I. "Clarice, we don't +want to be dragged into all your private squabbles, +but if you will tell this disreputable story +you have got to tell it straight. Jim says you +merely showed a proper spirit, and so you did."</p> + +<p>"Why, what do you know about it, Robert?" +cried Mabel and Jane together.</p> + +<p>"He was there, hidden in the bushes, like +a villain in a cloak and slouched hat."</p> + +<p>Here came a chorus of exclamations and reproaches, +till one of us had to say, "You may +as well give it up, Clarice. These women will +never let you go on; they don't know how to +listen. If you were talking only to me, now—"</p> + +<p>"Jane, you can never twit him again with +not being able to keep a secret; he kept this +one sacredly for three months."</p> + +<p>"Of course he did," said Mabel: "I always +knew it."</p> + +<p>"Why, Robert, you told me—," Clarice +exclaimed, and "O no, you didn't, my dear," +some one else put in, while Jane looked triumphant.</p> + +<p>"No, I didn't know this secret, of course," +Mabel admitted: "I only meant that I always +knew Robert could keep a secret, if it were of +very extraordinary importance, and if he were +certain it would ruin everything to let it out. +Poor Robert, what a hard time you have had!"</p> + +<p>"But how did he come to overhear your conversation?" +said Jane. "What business had +he there?"</p> + +<p>"It was all through his pipe. Mabel, you +must never object to his pipe again."</p> + +<p>"There now, Mabel," remarked another of +the company, "you wouldn't believe that the +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[195]</a></span> +pipe was good for my health, and now you see +it has preserved the whole family."</p> + +<p>"I don't see that," said the troublesome +Jane: "what was the use of your being there +intermeddling?"</p> + +<p>"Jane," said one severely, "if you will be +still, you will probably learn. How can you +expect to hear anything when you keep on +interrupting Clarice like this?"</p> + +<p>"I am coming to that now, Jane. What he +thus saw and heard he most patiently, and +heroically, and from the noblest motives—"</p> + +<p>"Excuse me, ladies," said I. "My pipe is +not handy, but I must go out and smoke a +cigar. I want to see a man—"</p> + +<p>"Let the man smoke the cigar, and that +will provide for both of them. You will sit +down, Robert, and hear me out; I am not to +be overruled this time."</p> + +<p>"It would give me the greatest pleasure to +hear you out, my dear, but you know your +health is delicate, and you are not accustomed +to public speaking. This is the longest oration +you ever made: Jane's constant interruptions +are trying, and you must be fatigued. If I +were you, I would rest now, and finish this up +to-morrow."</p> + +<p>"Now isn't that exactly like him?" cried +the irrepressible Jane. "He is afraid of your +exposures, as well he may be. Go on, Clarice, +and tell us what other iniquities he has committed, +besides deceiving Mabel and me about +this, while he was questioning us all the time, +and pretending to impart all he knew."</p> + +<p>"He deceived me too. Yes, you may well +stare; he kept this absolutely to himself, till +he could use it for his own deep purposes; and"—she +blushed a little—"that is why things +are as they are."</p> + +<p>I saw she wanted to be helped out, so I said.</p> + +<p>"Yes, that is the cause of this thusness. +You see, Mabel, what great results may spring +from a little pipe. Jane, you will have to +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[196]</a></span> +admit that I am the guardian angel and protecting +genius of you all."</p> + +<p>"Well, Clarice," said Jane, "I will own +that my estimate of his talents has risen lately; +but then my confidence in his moral character +has fallen in the same degree. He does tell +such dreadful falsehoods."</p> + +<p>"It is not quite as if he told them for love of +them, simply for the pleasure he takes in falsehood +itself. You must allow for his motives."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Mabel, "his motives are always +excellent, whatever his words and actions may +be. You remember the man in the Bible, who +was delivered to Satan for his soul's sake; and +I have heard Robert himself say that in ascending +a mountain you often have to go down +hill."</p> + +<p>"She means," I explained, "that on the rare +occasions when I employ fiction, I do it purely +in the interests of Truth. That goddess is +imperfectly provided with garments—excuse +me for stating so scandalous a fact, but it is so. +Now this might have been well enough in +Eden before the fall, but it will not do now; +so we have to make the poor creature presentable, +and pay her milliner's bills, which are +often high. It would have been far more +congenial to my candid nature to tell you all at +once what I saw and heard that day in August; +but such a course might have been attended +with unpleasant consequences. If you will all +forgive me, I will try not to do it again."</p> + +<p>"I do not see my way to forgive you, brother," +said Jane with a judicial air, "unless Clarice +does; and that appears doubtful. I will be +guided entirely by her."</p> + +<p>"I have managed my own affairs so well +without help, that you will naturally all wish +to be guided by me. It is a good deal for me +to do; but since Robert's misconduct has done +no great harm, and rather than come between +brother and sister, I will—yes, I will forgive +him." She rose majestically, signed to me to +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[197]</a></span> +do the same, and gave me both hands, with +the air of a sovereign conferring knighthood; +we made an impressive tableau. "And since +you are all so quiet at last, I may finish my +speech, and state the reason for this act of leniency. +As Mr. Hartman's conversion is to be +completed this time without fail, it is plainly +necessary that he should find us a united +family."</p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<h3><a name="To_Persons_About_to_Marry" id="To_Persons_About_to_Marry"></a>XXXIV.</h3> + +<h4>TO PERSONS ABOUT TO MARRY.</h4> + +<p><span class="smcap">I would</span> have liked to celebrate Jim's arrival +by sundry pleasant and appropriate remarks; +but impressive warnings and entreaties had +reached me privately from three distinct quarters, +urging me to efface myself on this occasion, +and keep in the background. I complied +with these suggestions, and there were no +tumultuous rejoicings over the returning prodigal. +Mabel and Jane greeted him with unobtrusive +warmth: Clarice was rather stately +and very calm; to look at her, you would have +thought this was an ordinary call. When they +talk about my duplicity, they mean that they +want a monopoly of the article themselves. +The visitor flushed and trembled like a boy, +till I felt sorry for him, and would have offered +him something to drink if they had given me a +chance. Women are so queer about such matters: +instead of letting the poor man go off +with me, they pretended not to notice his confusion, +and talked about the weather and +mountains and trout, as if he wanted to discuss +such frivolities. This soon got to be a bore, +and I went to the new smoking-room, inviting +him to follow when he needed rational conversation. +He did not come at all, and I found +afterwards that my wife and sister had gone +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[198]</a></span> +away presently, and left him alone with Clarice—and +they such sticklers for Propriety.</p> + +<p>I expected to have some fun watching this +tender pair; but I was disappointed. There +never is anything sensational to see when the +Princess is in action: she carries an atmosphere +of quietness about with her, and imposes it on +those who come within her circle. Hartman +broke rules and bounds once last summer, but +he seems unlikely to do it again. The rest of +us kept out of the way as much we could, and +gave them scope. I said to Jane that we +ought to get up a torchlight procession, or a +big dinner, or something, in Jim's honor, but +she scornfully told me to wait at least till the +engagement was announced. When he was +with me—which was little, for his time seemed +to be much occupied, and his weakness for +tobacco nearly cured—he once or twice attempted +some drivel about disinterested friendship +and undying gratitude; but I stopped +that. If there be one thing for which I profess +no sympathy, it is puling sentiment. He apparently +did not care to discuss the progress of +his affair, which was a relief; it is a dreadful +nuisance to have to listen to lovers' talk, and I +had enough of that at Wayback, when I could +not help myself. At our time of life a man +ought to be occupied with serious pursuits. +But Jim is as if he had been asleep in a cave +for ten years, and waked up with his beard +well grown and a large stock of emotional +aptitudes abnormally developed. I suppose +Clarice likes this kind of thing, but I wonder +at her taste.</p> + +<p>They had been at it a week or so when I +stumbled upon them unawares one day in the +library. I tried to retreat, but they both called +to me to stop.</p> + +<p>"Robert," said she, "we have quarrelled +again. That is, he has."</p> + +<p>"Yes, Bob," said Jim, "and you'll have to +straighten it out for us as you did before."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[199]</a></span> +"This is too much," said I. "You had +better take the next train for home, and by +next May my health will need another change +and I'll come up and attend to your case."</p> + +<p>"This needs to be settled right away. Clarice +wants to go to the woods and live there the +year round, and I can't permit such a sacrifice."</p> + +<p>"Robert, he wants to live in the world like +other people, just for my sake, and I can't +permit such a sacrifice either."</p> + +<p>"You must both prepare to be sacrificed, my +lambs. Each of you will have to bear and +forbear, and get used to the other's repulsive +selfishness and hidebound eccentricities, to +forego the sweet privacy and freedom of self-indulgence +which have marked your innocent +lives hitherto. When the glamour of young +romance has faded, when the bloom is rubbed +off the peach and the juice is crushed out of +the strawberry, there will remain only the hard +reality of daily duty, which is continual self-immolation. +You are wise to commence practising +this virtue at once."</p> + +<p>"You must instruct us how to do it, Bob. +It would be as you say, no doubt—with her—if +she had to live at Wayback as she proposes. +You have been there enough to know that it is +no place for her; tell her so. She has confidence +in you, and she won't believe me."</p> + +<p>"It would be as you say, Robert—with him—if +he had to live among the constraints and +shams which his soul abhors. You know it, +and you have great influence over him. Tell +him so."</p> + +<p>"You are both right, and it is clear there is +no place where you can live—together. James, +she is a fragile flower; transplanted to your +sterile soil, she would soon wither and drop +from the stalk. Clarice, he is fastidious, critical, +and intense; made a part of the things he +despises, the torturing contact with pomps and +vanities would soon strike his knell. My little +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[200]</a></span> +dears, your paths were never meant to unite, +and the best thing you can do is to part in +peace. James, this is all imagination, and you +know it; a milliner's lay-figure, or that rural +nymph at Wayback, would do just as well, and +be much less exacting and expensive. Clarice, +you are pushing <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'philantrophy'">philanthropy</ins> too far: the +picturesqueness of this hermit, and his alleged +romantic woes, have misled you as to the nature +of your interest in him. I don't think +<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'motrimony'">matrimony</ins> would suit you at all: you had +much better stay with us, whom you can leave +whenever you please. You could not do that +so easily with a husband, and you don't like +divorce. My children, pause: you will soon +have had enough of each other, and then you +can go your several ways in peace."</p> + +<p>"See here, old man; it is too late for this +kind of wisdom, after all the pains you have +taken to bring us together when we were parted +indeed. You ought to be proud of your work, +and ready to give us your blessing."</p> + +<p>"Don't mind Robert, James. You must +take him as you find him, and it encourages +him to go on if you seem to pay attention. All +you need is to give him time—generally a great +deal of it, to be sure. When you have known +him twenty years or so as I have, you will +understand that he usually has some tolerably +good sense at the bottom of his mind, underneath +a mountain of foolishness; he would say +it is like the beer after he has blown the froth +off.—Get to the sense as soon as you can, dear, +for we can't well wait more than a month or +two for it: we have to make our plans."</p> + +<p>"I was going to say that you had better leave +the engagement unlimited as to time and say +nothing about it, for then you can get tired of +one another at leisure, and part without embarrassment. +But if you are in such indecent +haste, and seriously bent on ruin, I will assist +you over the precipice as gently as may be. +You will have to compromise, and humor each +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[201]</a></span> +other a little. Go abroad for awhile, or to +Florida or the Pacific, till you feel less exclusive; +then come back to us. The house is big +enough, and you can make your winter home +here: we can't let you have her <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'an'">on</ins> any other +terms, Jim. You can enlarge your place when +the weather opens, and put in the spring and +fall there: some of us will come up, or I will +anyway, after trout. Perhaps I'll bring Jane: +she wanted to catch some. It would not be +safe for Herbert; he is too fond of bears. If +you find the whole summer there too much +bliss, as you will, you can divide with us at +Newport. That is fair to all parties, isn't +it?"</p> + +<p>"It will do nicely, for a rough sketch at +least, and give us time to think. But there is +a more serious difficulty, as you will see. Robert, +he wants to give up his well-considered +principles of so many years, and just for me—however +he may deny it. Now I say he was +mainly right. Take Life in the large view, +and it is not a grand or beautiful thing. Have +we any right to overlook the misery of millions, +because a few of us like each other and are +outwardly comfortable? I will not have him do +so weak a thing as change his standards from +no better reason than—well, that you went up +to him for the fall fishing."</p> + +<p>"My dear Clarice, if you set up as a Pessimist +apostle, you will convert all the town, and that +will never do.—You hear her, Jim? A wise +man sometimes has to take his sentiments from +a wiser woman. But seriously, I am ashamed +of you. Having used your eyes and brains +long ago and received a true impression, what +right have you to cast it away, and be misled +by a narrow prejudice in behalf of Life—or of +some particular section of it? If he that loves +a coral cheek and a ruby lip is but a redhot +donkey, what shall we say of him who makes +these his <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'weatherguage'">weathergauge</ins> to test the universe +by?"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[202]</a></span> +"Well, Bob, perhaps I have received a new +impression, which is truer than the other—and +deeper. As you told me last summer, a world +with Clarice in it is quite different from a +world without her. Princess—if I may use his +term—Bob thinks a good deal of you too; at +least he used to. You entered into his scheme +of things as well as mine. Such is his duplicity, +perhaps you never suspected the fact."</p> + +<p>"That is strange, when he has taken such +pains to get me off his hands. I could hardly +believe it of you, Robert, on any less authority; +it was an unworthy weakness, in such a philosopher. +But really now, are you going to +uphold him in this—against me?"</p> + +<p>"Far from it: you will make him think +what you please—only your own opinion on +this point, though so strongly held and stated, +is somewhat recent. Let us have a middle +ground to start from, on which all parties can +meet, as in the other case. When things go +to suit us, let us call it a good world: when +they don't, of course it is a bad one. O, we can +consider the suffering millions too; but then +we ourselves are somebody, and have our own +point of view. So when you two look at each +other, and contemplate your own bliss, you +will be optimists; and when you read the suicides +in the papers, and think of the Siberian +exiles and my labors in Water Street, it will +be the other way. Why, I am often a pessimist +in the morning, and the reverse at night. +It depends on the impression you receive, as +Jim says; and there are a good many impressions, +and not all alike. Often you can be +betwixt and between. Let us fix it that way: +I am sure that ought to suit anybody."</p> + +<p>Jim agreed that it would do very well, but +Clarice seemed undecided. "It seems so frivolous +to look at Life in this easy way, just +because we—well, are not unhappy, and not +without friends. You never do yourself justice, +Robert—or very rarely. If we have been +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[203]</a></span> +favored beyond others, we ought to be earnest +and serious."</p> + +<p>"My dear, Time will check your frivolity, +and mitigate the morbid bitterness of Jim's +gloomy contempt of life—or vice versa. If I +have got you mixed up, I beg pardon: you +have changed positions so, it confuses me. +But as we are to be earnest and serious, we +should seek to communicate our happiness +to others. Hadn't I better call them in?"</p> + +<p>The lovers consented, and I called. Mabel +and Jane came with eager smiles and effusive +congratulations. It is curious, the stress which +the feminine intellect lays on a mere point of +time, or external event, like the celebration of +a union between two young people, or the first +statement that such a union is to be formed; +whereas we all know that the real event is +mental, or at most resides in the clash and +concurrence of two minds, assisted by the +bodies they inhabit. Our friends had probably +come to a sufficient understanding the +night of Jim's arrival, a week ago: in fact the +thing was practically settled when I brought +back his submission, and even he must have +had sense enough to know it was when she +wrote him that one word, 'Come.' So what on +earth is the use of making a fuss about it now? +But I will not press this view, which may be +too rarefied and lofty for the vulgar mind.</p> + +<p>There were kisses, and laughter, and tears I +believe—but not of the Princess' shedding—just +as if something had really happened. I +was sorry for Jim, he looked so sheepish. +Then he, or Clarice, or both of them, to cover +the awkwardness of the moment, began to extol +my virtues and services—in which there was +no sense at all; for suppose you have done a +good thing, you don't want to be everlastingly +cackling about it: the thing is done, let it +stand on its own merits or demerits. To stop +this, I proposed a division of the honors. +"There is Herbert, who is unhappily in bed +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[204]</a></span> +now: he set the ball rolling. He was the only +one of us all who dared ask Clarice what she +had done to you, Jim. And here is Clarice +herself, who discovered that my health was +failing and needed the air that blows over +troutbrooks; give her a benefit. And here is +Jane, who urged me on—drove me, I may say. +But for her, I might never have had courage to +beard you two dreadful people, and ask you +what you meant by such conduct."</p> + +<p>Jane was receiving due attention, when +Mabel spoke. "You must not overlook me, as +if I had had no hand in it. I approved and +encouraged it from the start: you know I did. +And when you went away, Mr. Hartman, and +they all felt so badly and thought you would +never come back, I always said it would be +right—<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: always. without quotation marks">always</ins>."</p> + +<p> </p> + +<h3>THE END.</h3> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Pessimist, by Robert Timsol + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A PESSIMIST *** + +***** This file should be named 26847-h.htm or 26847-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/6/8/4/26847/ + +Produced by Colin Bell, Brett Fishburne and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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