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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Pessimist, by Robert Timsol
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: A Pessimist
+       In Theory and Practice
+
+Author: Robert Timsol
+
+Release Date: October 9, 2008 [EBook #26847]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A PESSIMIST ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Colin Bell, Brett Fishburne and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+A PESSIMIST;
+
+IN
+
+THEORY AND PRACTICE.
+
+BY
+
+ROBERT TIMSOL.
+
+
+NEW YORK:
+
+JOHN B. ALDEN, PUBLISHER.
+
+1888.
+
+
+Copyright, 1888,
+
+BY
+
+THE PROVIDENT BOOK COMPANY.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+
+I. Wisdom in the Woods.                  7
+
+II. Worse Yet.                          17
+
+III. Complications.                     24
+
+IV. A Wilful Princess.                  28
+
+V. Consultation.                        37
+
+VI. Preparation.                        44
+
+VII. Initiation.                        47
+
+VIII. Introduction.                     52
+
+IX. At Newport.                         55
+
+X. On the Cliffs.                       58
+
+XI. Explanations.                       63
+
+XII. Awakening.                         71
+
+XIII. Domestic Criticisms.              75
+
+XIV. Over two Cigars.                   79
+
+XV. The Catastrophe.                    83
+
+XVI. Feminine Councils.                 87
+
+XVII. Consolation.                      91
+
+XVIII. Against Earnestness.             99
+
+XIX. Conspiracy.                       102
+
+XX. Apology for Lying.                 108
+
+XXI. Jane to the Rescue.               118
+
+XXII. An Ordeal.                       125
+
+XXIII. Plan of Campaign.               132
+
+XXIV. To Wayback again.                139
+
+XXV. A Wild Brook.                     145
+
+XXVI. An Intractable Patient.          149
+
+XXVII. Scenery Improved.               156
+
+XXVIII. Diplomacy.                     159
+
+XXIX. Submission.                      168
+
+XXX. Wasted Advice.                    175
+
+XXXI. Results Reported.                178
+
+XXXII. Confession.                     185
+
+XXXIII. A Family Conclave.             192
+
+XXXIV. To Persons About to Marry.      197
+
+
+
+
+A PESSIMIST.
+
+
+
+
+I.
+
+WISDOM IN THE WOODS.
+
+
+I had seen and heard little of Hartman since our college days. There he
+was counted a youth of eminent promise: after that I knew that he had
+traveled, written something or other, and practised law--or professed
+it, and not too eagerly: then he had disappeared. Last May I stumbled on
+him in a secluded region where I had gone to fish and rest, after a year
+of too close attention to business. We came face to face in the woods,
+stared at each other, and then our hands met in the old grip. He took me
+home with him, to a comfortable enough bachelor establishment, and we
+made a night--or more than an evening--of it. He did not seem curious,
+but I was.
+
+"What have you been doing with yourself!" I began; "withdrawing from the
+world?"
+
+"To some extent," he said. "You can't do that entirely, you know. The
+world is in you as well as around you, unluckily. It is too much with
+us, as the poet observed. Do you remember the time you had in class over
+that sonnet?"
+
+"Pass that," I said. "I've given up poetry." ("I should have thought
+that impossible," he put in, in his nasty nagging fashion; but I took no
+notice.) "Where have you been all the time?"
+
+"Here, mostly. It's not much of a place, but that is its merit."
+
+He was getting too deep now, as he often did of old; so I said, "But
+it's so far away."
+
+"That's its other merit. You always had a direct and ingenuous mind,
+Bob. Here you've hit both bull's-eyes in two shots."
+
+"None of your chaff," said I. "Who do you practice your wits on, up
+here?"
+
+"My dogs. And there are some hens in the neighborhood, and a few small
+farmers. Or if my bosom cries too loudly to be eased of its perilous
+stuff, I can chaff myself, which is more profitable."
+
+"You were always too clever for me. What else do you do?"
+
+"As the Baroness used to say in _The Danicheffs_, in our days of vanity,
+'Do you think that is much of a compliment?' I read, and fish, and
+climb, and ride several hobbies, and meditate on Man, on Nature, and on
+Human Fate."
+
+"What's the good of that?" I was growing impatient of all this nonsense.
+
+"Well, not much, perhaps," said he. "For you, very little indeed. But
+intrinsically it is about as profitable as more popular avocations."
+
+"Now look here, Hartman," I said. "You're a better man any day than
+I--or you were. But here you are, hidden in the backwoods with owls (one
+of them was making a horrid noise outside), and nothing to show. Now
+I've got a wife--"
+
+"And seven children," he interposed.
+
+"No, only three. But I have a good business, and a house on the avenue,
+and a decent social position, and I'm making money. And I don't like to
+see you throw yourself away like this."
+
+"Old man," said Hartman, "we are just of an age, and you would pass for
+five years the elder. Your hair is getting gray, and thin on top. You
+look fagged. And you owned to me that you came here to pick up."
+
+He had me there a little. "Yes, I've been working hard. But I'm in the
+swim. I do as others do. I help to make the wheels go round." I thought
+I had him there; but you never can count on Hartman, except for an
+answer of some kind.
+
+"Wouldn't they go round without your help? And why should they go
+around, anyway? It might be a variety to have them stop. What's the good
+of it?"
+
+I stared at him; but his eye looked more rational than his talk sounded.
+"The good of it is that I am in things generally, while you are out."
+
+"Exactly so. I am out, while you are in. As to things generally, I
+prefer to be with the outs. It is a matter of taste, no doubt."
+
+"Well, you are beyond me. But I brought myself in merely as an
+example--not that I set up to be much of that--or an illustration, say.
+I want to know about you." It may have been foolish, but somehow I felt
+the old affection coming back as we talked. "What does it all mean,
+Harty?"
+
+He looked at me. "Do you really want to know, Bob?"
+
+"Of course I do. Do you suppose I've forgotten the larks we used to
+have, and the scrapes you got me out of, and how you coached me through
+that exam, in Calculus? It's long ago, Jim; but I took it rather hard,
+the way you dropped me."
+
+He began to look as he used to: he wasn't a selfish fellow in those
+days. "I never meant to be hard on you, Bob, nor supposed you'd take it
+so: and I doubt if you did, though you think so at this moment. It was
+part of a system; and systems are poor things, though we can't do
+without them. I'll tell you how it was."
+
+"Wait till I fill up.--Now go ahead."
+
+"You don't smoke as you used to, Bob. Does the Madam object?"
+
+"She doesn't like tobacco about the house, of course. And I'm not sure
+it's good for me."
+
+"Ah. Sorry to be leading you astray. There is no one to interfere with
+my little vices. Well, Bob, I got tired of it. Not that that alone would
+matter: one could stand being bored in a good cause. But I couldn't see
+that it was a good cause."
+
+"Would you mind explaining?" said I. "What cause?"
+
+"Helping to make the wheels go round. Being in the swim. Doing as others
+do. Trying to make a little money and a little name, and following the
+fashions of a carnal-minded generation. I could see no point to it, Bob;
+the game never seemed worth the candle."
+
+"And so you came out in the woods, like what's his name--that Concord
+fellow. Do you find this any better?"
+
+"Negatively. I am not so much a part of the things I despise. The pomps
+and vanities are conspicuous chiefly by their absence. It is a simpler
+life, comparatively laudable for there being less of it."
+
+"And don't you get bored, out here? A week or so of it is well enough in
+a way; but take it the year round, I should think you'd find it worse
+than civilization."
+
+"I get bored, of course: that is incidental to life, and chronic with
+one who has looked beneath the surface and sifted values. But it's not
+so oppressive as in town. There are no shams here, to speak of. Having
+no business and no society, we don't pretend to be very different from
+what we are."
+
+"O, if you come to that, the women still improve on nature, and the
+street has its little tricks and methods; but you could keep out of
+them. You were in the law."
+
+"It's all the same, Bob. The law now is worked much more as a business
+than as a science. Look at Jones, and Brown, and Jenkins: they are
+getting on, I hear. I don't want to get on in that way."
+
+"But you might have taken the scientific side of it. With your head
+piece, and your high and mighty notions, there was a field for you."
+
+"So is theology a field, or physic, or Greek roots, or chiropody--for
+him, who believes in them. I was not able to see that one line of
+thought has a right to crowd out all the rest, or to sink my whole soul
+in a profession. That's what they want of you now--to make a little
+clearing, and put up palings all round it, and see things outside only
+through the chinks of your blessed fence. Be a narrow specialist: know
+one thing, and care for nothing else. I suppose you can do that with
+oil."
+
+I thought there was some uncalled-for bitterness in this; but the poor
+fellow can't be contented, with his lonesome and aimless life. "We're
+not talking about me, Jim. You're the topic. Stick to your text, and
+preach away: my soul is not so immersed in oil that I can't listen. But
+I don't blame you for going back on the law; a beast of a business, I
+always thought it. Why didn't you go for a Professorship?"
+
+"My poor friend, you were at college four years, and graduated--without
+honors, it is true. Don't you remember how little we cared for the
+Profs. and their eminent attainments? We took it for granted that it was
+all right, and they understood what they were at; but it was a grind, to
+them and to us. If a man was an enthusiast for his branch, we rather
+laughed at him; or if his name was well up, we were willing to be proud
+of him--at a distance--as an honor to Alma Mater; but we kicked all the
+same, if he tried to put extra work on us. It was all fashion, routine,
+tradition. The student mind doesn't begin to look into things for itself
+till about the senior year, and then it's full of what lies ahead, in
+the great world outside--poor innocents! With those of us who had
+anything in us, it took most of the time to knock the nonsense
+out.--And then if a man wants a chair, he must take it in a western
+concern, where he'll be expected to lead in prayer-meeting, and to have
+no views of geology that conflict with the Catechism."
+
+"Well then, why not go on with literature? That was in your line: you
+might have made a good thing of it."
+
+"Yes, by 'unremitting application,' much the same as at law, and taking
+it seriously as a profession, I might in time possibly have made five
+hundred a year off the magazines, and won an humble place among our
+seven hundred rising authors. What's the good of that, when one is not a
+transcendent genius, destined for posterity? The crowd seems to be
+thickest just there: too many books, too many writers, and by far too
+many anxious aspirants. Why should I swell the number? The community was
+not especially pining to hear what I might have to say; and I did not
+pine so much as some to be heard."
+
+"I fear you lacked ambition, Harty. You would have made a pretty good
+preacher; but I suppose you weren't sanctified enough."
+
+"Thanks: scarcely. I prefer to retain some vestiges of self-respect.
+That will do for the youths on the beneficiary list, who are taken in
+and done for from infancy, to whom it is an object to get a free
+education and into a gentlemanly profession. That's the kind they mostly
+make parsons of now, I hear. My boy, to do anything really in that line,
+a man ought to have notions different from mine--rather. Why don't you
+advise me to set up a kindergarten? That would suit as well as
+chronicling ecclesiastical small beer. Cudgel your brains, and start
+something more plausible."
+
+This did not surprise me at all; but my suggestion-box was getting low.
+Then I made a rally. "How about the philanthropic dodge? Robinson is on
+the Associated Charities in town. I saw in the paper that he made a
+speech the other night."
+
+"If he does nothing better than speech-making, he might as well drop it.
+There might be something in benevolent efforts, if one had just the
+temperament and talents for them. But as it is, I fear most of it is
+humbug; mutual admiration, seeing your name in the paper, and all that.
+And how they get imposed on! How they pauperize and debauch those they
+try to raise! It's a law of nature, Bob, that every tub must stand on
+its own bottom: you can't reform a man from without. Natural selection
+will have its way: the shiftless and the lazy must go to the wall. If
+you could kill them off, now, that might do some good. The class that
+needs help is not like us--not that we are anything to brag of: they've
+not had our chance. It's very well to say, give 'em a chance; but that's
+no use unless they take it, which they won't. 'Who would be free,
+themselves must strike the blow.' If they wouldn't, you are bound to
+respect their right of choice. Your drunken ruffian will keep on
+breaking the furniture, till another like him breaks his skull. His
+wife, the washerwoman with six small children, will continue getting
+more and making things worse. This part of it at least ought to be
+regulated by law: but that would be a restriction of personal liberty,
+which is the idol of this age, and not without reason. We're between two
+millstones, and I see no way out."
+
+"How would you like politics? The gentleman is supposed to have an
+opening there now."
+
+"A doubtful and difficult one. If it had come in my time I might have
+tried it. But it would be uphill work, a sort of Sisyphus affair: you
+may get the stone to the top, but the chances are against it. And which
+party is one to join, when he sees nothing in either but selfish greed
+and stale traditions? Viewed as a missionary field, Bob, it's just like
+the ministry: you are weighed down with a lot of dead conventions which
+you must pretend to believe have life and juice in them yet. Before you
+can do anything you must be a partisan, and that requires a mediæval
+state of mind. Mine, unluckily if you like, is modern. It wouldn't go,
+Bob. Try again, if you have more on your list."
+
+"Well, there's pure Science: you wouldn't care for the applied, I know.
+But you used to like beetles and things. Truth for Truth's sake is a
+fine motto, now?"
+
+"Yes, if they lived by it. There was Bumpus, old Chlorum's favorite
+student--in the laboratory, you remember. The old man died, and Bumpus
+stole all his discoveries, and published them as his own; made quite a
+pretty reputation, and is one of our leading chemists. You know how the
+books on Astronomy are made? A man finds out a thing or two for himself,
+cribs the rest from other books, changes the wording, and brings it all
+out with a blare of trumpets as original research. Those methods are
+approved, or at least tolerated, in the best scientific circles, and
+other folks don't know the difference. O, I belong to a few societies
+yet, and once in an age go to their meetings, when I get tired up here."
+
+"So the outside world still has charms, eh? Have to go back to it now
+and then, to keep alive, do you?"
+
+"Yes, when I need to be reconciled to solitude; much as you go to hear
+Ingersoll when your orthodoxy wants confirming, or Dr. Deadcreed if your
+liberalism is to be stirred up. Let us spice the insipid dish with some
+small variety. The lesser evil needs the greater for its foil."
+
+"Look here, Harty; this sounds like pure perverseness; opposition for
+its own sake, you know. I believe your money has been the ruin of you.
+It's not an original remark, but if you'd had nothing you'd have done
+something; gone into business like the rest of us, and made your way."
+
+"Of course, if I had been obliged to; but I should have loved it none
+the better. Poor Bayard Taylor said a man could serve God and mammon
+both, but only by hating the mammon which he served from sheer
+necessity. Say I got my living by a certain craft, would that make the
+craft noble? 'Great is Diana of the Ephesians,' because we sell her
+images! Why should I desire to supply the confiding public with shoes,
+or sugar, or sealing-wax? Plenty of others can do that better, and find
+it more amusing, than I should."
+
+"If it's amusement you're after, most men find it in Society. You're not
+too old for that yet."
+
+"Blind guide, I have been there. So long ago, you say, that I've
+forgotten what it's like? Not quite. Last winter I had to attend an
+execution: couldn't get out of it, you know. My cousin married a
+Washington belle, and I had to be there a week, and take it all in. Ah
+well, this is a threadbare theme; but I could understand how men fifteen
+hundred years ago fled from Alexandrian ball-rooms to Nitrian deserts.
+The emptiness of it--the eternal simper, the godless and harrowing
+routine! If a man has brains or a soul about him, what can he do with
+them in such a crowd? Better leave them at home with his pocket-book, or
+he might lose them--less suddenly, but more certainly, I fancy. No, the
+clubs are not much better; I don't care for horse-talk or the price of
+shares. See human nature? not in its best clothes--and you may read that
+remark either way you like. Why man, you can get all this in _Punch_ and
+the novels, with far less fatigue, and lay them down when you have had
+enough. An hour on Broadway sickens me for the wild-flowers, the
+brooks, the free breeze or the mountain side."
+
+He was getting violent now, and I thought I had better calm him down.
+"Oho! the rhyme and reason of a rural life, is it? Soothing effect of
+Nature on a world-worn bosom, and all that? So you do believe in
+something, after all?"
+
+"I told you it was but a choice of evils, and this is the less. Nature
+has neither heart nor conscience, and she sets us a bad example. She has
+no continuity, no reliableness, no self-control. I can see none of the
+fabled sublimity in a storm; only the pettishness of a spoiled child, or
+of an angry man bent on breaking things. The sunset is better to look
+at, but it has no more moral meaning than a peep-show. Yet this is a
+return to primitive conditions, in a way. I can throw off here the
+peddler's pack of artificialities that Vanity Fair imposes, and carry
+only the inevitable burden of manhood. The air is less poisonous to body
+and mind than in the cities. The groves were God's first temples, and
+may be the last."
+
+"See here, Hartman. Suppose people in general were to take up with these
+cheerful notions of yours, and go away from each other and out in the
+backwoods--what then?"
+
+"It might be the best thing they could do. But don't be alarmed, Bob: I
+am not a Nihilist agent. Preserve your faith in the Oil Exchange and the
+general order. I speak only for myself, and I'm not proselyting to any
+great extent. We'll have a week's fishing, and then I'll send you back
+to your wife in good shape. Or if you find yourself getting demoralized,
+you can skip earlier, either home or to a place further up that I'll
+tell you of, where the few inhabitants are as harmless as your youngest
+baby."
+
+But I was not to be bluffed off in this way. "Jim," I said, "there is
+something behind all this. Was it that girl you met at Newport and
+afterwards in Naples? You told me once--"
+
+"Never mind the girl," he said. "You are a married man, and I an old
+bachelor. Leave girls to those who have use for them. If we are to get
+any trout to-morrow, it's time we turned in. And if you won't stay, I'll
+go with you to the tavern and knock up old Hodge: he's been asleep these
+four hours." I thought he had talked enough for one night, so I said no
+more, but got back to bed.
+
+
+
+
+II.
+
+WORSE YET.
+
+
+Hartman had asked me to stay with him, but there is no use of
+overloading friendship, and I like to be my own master as well as he
+does. I might get tired of him, or he of me; and it's not well to be
+chained to your best friend for a solid week. Not that I am afraid of
+Hartman; he is not a lunatic, only a monomaniac; but I can cheer him up
+better when I have a good line of retreat open. He took me next morning
+to some superior pools, where the trout were fat and fierce; but I had
+not my usual skill. The truth is, Jim was on my mind; and after missing
+several big fish and taking a good deal of his chaff, I begged off--said
+I had letters to write--and so got to the tavern in time for dinner,
+which they have at the pagan hour of half-past eleven. Then I set to
+work thinking. I am not quite so dull as I may seem, but Hartman always
+had the ascendancy at college, and last night I fell into the old way of
+playing chorus to his high tragedy. This will not do, and I must assert
+myself. He was much the better student of course, but I have knocked
+about and seen more of the world than he has, shut up in these woods
+like a toad in a tree. He is too good a sort to go to seed with his
+confounded whimseys; so I determined to take a different tone with him.
+And I wrote to my wife about it: Mabel is a competent woman, and
+sometimes has very good ideas where mine fail--though of course I seldom
+let her see that. That evening I took him in hand.
+
+"Jim," I said, "I've been thinking--about you."
+
+"Ah," said he. "Large results may be expected from such unusual
+exertion. Impart them by all means."
+
+"James Hartman, you are lazy, and selfish, and unprincipled."
+
+"Yes?" said he, in an inquiring tone. "That is your thesis. Prove it."
+
+I went on. "A man should be doing something: you are doing nothing. A
+man should have a stake in the community. What have you got? Three dogs
+and an old cow. A man should be in connection and sympathy with the
+great tides of life. Here you are with nobody but yokels to talk to, and
+the pulse of the region about two to the minute."
+
+"Twin brother of my soul, companion of the palmy days of youth,
+methinks--as they say in the wild and wondrous West--you hit me where I
+live. But none of these things move me. I am lost in admiration of your
+oratory: really, Bob, I didn't think it was in you. But you said all
+this, in simpler language, last night."
+
+I saw I had overshot the mark: when he takes that tone, you are nowhere.
+"Jim," I said, "let's be serious. Begin where we left off, then. Granted
+that you don't care for making money, and the ends most of us are after.
+By character and fortune you are above the usual selfish motives. Still
+you are a man, a member of the community: you have duties to your
+fellows. Let the nobler motives come in. Do something to make the world
+happier, wiser, better. You have the power, if you had the will. Are not
+private talents a public trust? You used to berate the hogs of Epicurus'
+sty. It seems to me you've fallen back on mere self-indulgence. Your
+life here is a huge egoism. Cut loose from these withering notions:
+there is a better side to things than the one you see. Come back to the
+world, and be a man again."
+
+His eye was very bright now--not that it was ever dull--but I could not
+quite make out what it meant; perhaps mere curiosity. "Robert," he said,
+"I should believe that somebody had been coaching you, but there's no
+one in range who could do it except myself. It's not like you to have
+brought books along; and you've not had time to hear from home. What put
+you up to this?"
+
+"Hartman," I said, "look me in the eye and see whether I mean what I
+say. Go back with me next week. Make your home at my house till you can
+look round. I'll introduce you to some men who are not shams--and women,
+if you like. I know a few who have souls and consciences, though they do
+go to parties. I'll help you all I'm worth. You can make a new start.
+Something went wrong before. Better luck this time."
+
+"Bob," said he, "I'll take your word for it. Deeply touched by such
+unexpected and undeserved consideration--no, I won't chaff. You're not
+half a bad lot. But, my dear boy, you see the thing from your
+standpoint; mine is different. I'll try to explain. But what would you
+have me do?"
+
+"Whatever is best for you. Anything, so you get an object in life."
+
+"Do you remember what De Senancour says, in _Obermann_?"
+
+"Not I. Put it in your own English, please: no French morals in mine."
+
+"What is there to be done that is worth doing? It seems to me that
+everything is overdone. I go into a town, big or little: ten stores
+where one is needed. How do all these poor creatures live? Do you see
+anything noble in this petty struggle for existence? I can't. I serve my
+kind best by getting out of their way: that makes one less in the
+scramble."
+
+"I shouldn't expect you to sell tape or taffy, Jim. You could deal in a
+higher line of goods, and do it in your own way."
+
+"They don't want my goods, Bob, and I can't do it in my own way. I have
+tried--not much, but enough to see. There is no market for my wares: and
+I'm not sure they are worth marketing--or that any man's are. Truth as I
+see it is the last article to be in demand."
+
+"As you think you see it just now, very likely. Your eye is jaundiced,
+and sees all things yellow. Get well, and you can find a market. Fit
+your mind to the facts, and receive a true impression."
+
+"Exactly what I have done--so far as any impression is true. That's the
+point I've been waiting for you to come to. 'The Universe is change, and
+Life is opinion.' As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he; and as he
+thinks of things outside himself, so are they to him. One can do no more
+than use his eyes and brains, and then rule himself by what he sees. I
+have looked at matters more carefully and dispassionately than some do,
+and seen a little deeper into them: the prospect is not edifying, Bob. I
+am prejudiced, you say? No, I have cast aside prejudice. Most of you are
+misled by the love of life: you want to give a favorable account of your
+own belongings, and the wish is father to the thought: so you blink what
+is before you, and won't own the truth. Perhaps you are wise in your
+way: you gain such bliss as is in ignorance. Keep it if you can: I have
+no desire to disturb it."
+
+"Jim, mayn't there be a little conceit of superior wisdom here?"
+
+"Very possibly: as the lamented Bedott observed, we are all poor
+creatures. 'I do not speak as one that is exempt:' doubtless I have my
+full share of infirmity."
+
+"Then why not take the benefit of it, with the rest of us? There's a
+better as well as a worse side. Take things as they are, and make the
+best of them."
+
+"I do. The best is the least, and I get away from things as much as
+possible. To minimize life is to make the best of it."
+
+"Now you're at it again; begging the question, and dodging the
+argument--you'd say, summing it up, I suppose. I tell you, it's all
+mental, and your mind's diseased. You think you're injured by the scheme
+of things. Well, change your opinion, and the injury is gone. Didn't one
+of your old philosophers say something like that?"
+
+"He didn't give it quite the application you do, Bob. How can I change
+an opinion that is based accurately on facts? I don't make the facts: if
+I did, my opinion of myself would be yet worse than it is. I have a
+brain--such as it is--and a conscience: I can keep them clean and awake,
+even on Crusoe's island. Nothing better than that, my boy. 'What is the
+good of man? Rectitude of will, and to understand the appearances of
+things.'"
+
+"Well, Hartman, if you had two or three kids, as I have, you'd see
+things differently. They would give you an interest in life."
+
+"A tragically solemn one, no doubt. That responsibility at least can't
+be forced on a man. He can let his part of the curse die out with him."
+
+"Jim, you _are_ selfish. You were made to gladden some woman's eye and
+fill her heart. You were the strongest man of the nine, and the best oar
+in the crew. We all envied your looks, and there's more of them now.
+You could outshine all the gilded youth I know, and hold your own with
+the best. I remember a girl that thought so, a dozen years ago.
+Somewhere a woman is waiting for you to come and claim her. Why will you
+rob her and the world? This wilful waste is selfish wickedness, that's
+what it is."
+
+"Think so if you must: it's a free country. But you sugar the pill too
+much. Who misses me--or what if some few did for a while? They've
+forgotten me long ago. I tell you, I served society by deserting it."
+
+"It's all very well now, Jim, while your youth and strength last. But
+after you turn forty, or fifty say, these woods and whims will lose
+their charm; you'll get bored as you've never been yet. The emptiness
+and dreariness that you theorize about will become stern realities:
+you'll pine, when it's too late, for human affection and some hold on
+life. My lad, you are storing up for yourself a sad old age."
+
+I thought I had him at last. His surface lightness was all gone: he
+looked intent and solemn. "No doubt of it, Bob; not the least in life. I
+am human, and the worst is yet to come. But do you think me such a cad
+as to go back on my principles in search of so poor a shadow as
+happiness? Shall I, in base hope of easing my own burden, throw it on
+somebody else who but for me might go through existence lightly? Should
+I call sentient beings out of the blessed gulf of nothingness, that they
+may pay a duty to my weakness by and by, and curse me in their hearts?
+That would be somewhat too high a price to pay for broth when I am
+toothless, and the coddling comforts of one who has lived too long."
+
+I am not thin-skinned, but his tone shocked me. "Dear boy," I said,
+"they wouldn't look at it in that light. They would be your wife and your
+children."
+
+"Yes," he said, still savagely, "they would be my wife and
+children--supposing your unsupposable case. Grant that my notions are as
+false and monstrous as you think them: a pleasant lot for my wife,
+wouldn't it, to be in constant contact with them? And my children would
+have my blood in them--the taint of eccentricity, perhaps of madness: O,
+I've seen it in your eye. Others would think so too--most, no doubt. No,
+Bob; better let it die out with me."
+
+"Jim, you make me tired. I'll go back to the tavern." I was
+disappointed, and he saw it.
+
+"Don't make yourself wretched about me, old man. Let this thing go--you
+can't mend it. Follow your own doctrine, and take what you find. We have
+the May weather, good legs, and our tackle, and the brooks are full of
+trout. I kill nothing bigger than fish, but if you want a change I'll
+show you where you can have a chance for deer. And for the evenings,
+there are other topics besides ourselves--or rather myself. You can tell
+me about your children; they are likely to be healthier than mine would
+be. Good night, my boy: sound sleep, and no dreams of me."
+
+
+
+
+III.
+
+COMPLICATIONS.
+
+
+After that I found it best to do as Hartman had said. The sport was
+good, but I failed to enjoy it. I suppose I was a fool, for each of us
+makes or mars his own life, and it is no use moping over your neighbor's
+blunders; but I could not get that poor devil out of my mind. He talks
+as well on one subject as on another: it was I, not he, had brought him
+under discussion; but the evenings dragged. Then came a letter from
+home: the distance is considerable, and the mails slow. "Dear Robert,"
+my wife wrote, "I am glad to know you are so comfortable. Keep your
+flannels on, and change your clothing when you have been in the wet. The
+children are well: Herbert fell over the banisters yesterday, but
+fortunately without injury. Bring your friend Mr. H. back with you; he
+seems to be presentable, and evidently all he needs is a little cheering
+feminine society." [Hum: feminine society puts a higher estimate on its
+own powers than I do, then.] "Clarice has returned. You know how
+enterprising she is, not to say wilful, and how fond she is of you. She
+has taken a fancy to try your retreat, and learn to catch trout." [She
+has, eh? Well, let's get on with this.] "Jane will go with her, of
+course: they start on Thursday. Secure rooms for them, and have a
+vehicle to meet them."
+
+Here was a nice situation. To make Mabel easy about me, I had enlarged
+too much on the accommodations here; they are a long way from what she
+supposes. I called the landlord. "Hodge, here are two ladies coming from
+the city. Where can you put them?"
+
+"Wall, I d'no, Square. Ain't much used to city gals. Hope they don't
+bring no sarrytogys. There ain't nothin but your room, an mine, an old
+Poll's, and the gerrit. Me and you might go out in the hayloft like, or
+sleep on the pyazzer if the nights is warm."
+
+While he was maundering on, the whole truth flashed upon me. Why can't
+I see things at once, like Hartman? If I had his sharpness, and he my
+slow common sense, there would be two men fit for this world's
+uses--which neither of us appears to be, as the case stands. I had
+rashly said too much about Jim and his attractions. Mabel is a born
+manager and matchmaker--can't endure to see an eligible man uncaught.
+She has put the girls up to this game: 'cheering feminine society,'
+indeed! My sister Jane is a sensible woman enough, and not much younger
+than I; but Clarice is a beauty with six years' experience, and
+irresistible, some think. 'Enterprising'--well, I should say so: cheeky,
+you might call it. Women do take such stunning liberties nowadays. My
+wife would reprove me for slang; but weaker words fail to express the
+fact, and my feelings about it. I might stand these girls coming up here
+after me--Clarice is a sort of eighth cousin of Mabel's and looks on me
+as a brother. But Jim--no. She must be pining for more worlds to
+conquer, and it would just suit her book to bring a romantic hermit to
+her feet. I should like well enough to see her try it, when I was not
+responsible, but not under present circumstances. Great Cæsar! Jim will
+think I have put up this job on him, and never forgive me: nor would I,
+in his place. This field is getting too thick with missionaries.--"Hodge,
+it won't do. Harness your old nag, and drive me to the station. I must
+telegraph. And while I'm there, I may as well put for home. We can catch
+the night train if you hurry."
+
+"Wall, Square, I don't cotton to suddint changes: like to move when I
+git a good ready. Ye put a man off his base, Darn--."
+
+I checked his incipient profanity. "My friend, whether you like it or
+not is in this case immaterial. I'll pay you for the time I meant to
+stay, and all you like for the fifteen miles. But be quick, now."
+
+While he was hunting strings for his broken buckboard, I threw my traps
+together, and scratched a line to Jim: called home by sudden press of
+business, I said--and so it was, in a way. It is a long ride, but I had
+enough to think of. At the depot I wired, "Hold the girls. I am coming
+back." As I straightened up from this exercise, there was the old sinner
+grinning malignantly over my shoulder. "Hodge," I said, "not a word
+about the ladies to Mr. Hartman, mind," and I gave him an extra dollar.
+This was another mistake, I suppose.
+
+"Never you mind, Square: tain't me as goes back on my friends." What
+could the old fool be thinking of? I would have given him some more
+cautions, but the train came, and I was off.
+
+You may imagine the reception at home. I tried to take a high hand, but
+what can a man do against three women? "I really think, Robert," said
+Mabel, "that since the girls had set their hearts on this excursion, you
+might have indulged them." "The conceit of men!" cried Clarice; "what
+had our coming to do with Mr. Hartman? Is he lord of the manor, that no
+one may trespass on his demesne?" Jane too turned on me. "It was not
+very kind of you, brother, to prefer a mere acquaintance above your own
+sister, and suspect her motives in order to save his peace, forsooth!" I
+knew it was humbug; but I had to eat no end of humble pie, all the same.
+You may believe me or not--if you are a family man you will, without
+difficulty--but I had to get those women apart, and explain things to
+them one at a time, before I could have peace in the house. My own flesh
+and blood were soon mollified; but Clarice has not forgiven me yet. I
+have been on my knees to her, so to speak--most men do it, and she
+expects it--but it is of no use. "My dear Clarice," said I, "you know I
+would do anything in the world for you." "Yes," said she contemptuously,
+"I've just had experience of it." "But you don't know Hartman." "Then
+why couldn't you let me know him?" "But it wouldn't have done, under
+these circumstances. He--I--." "Unhappy man," she said, with her tragedy
+queen air, "is it possible you imagined that you were a better judge of
+the proprieties than I?" And that's the way it goes. I am coming to
+believe Hartman was right about the fate of philanthropic efforts, at
+least.
+
+In the midst of all this came a note from Jim himself. "Dear Bob, I
+enclose something which Hodge says you left behind." [O thrice-accursed
+idiot, did I leave Mabel's letter lying around loose?] "Of course I have
+not looked into it, but I fear he has." [You may bet on that: the only
+chance was that he could not read her fine Italian hand.] "He says one
+of your children fell down stairs: I trust the results were not serious.
+Sorry you left in such haste, and hindered the ladies from coming.
+Hodge's quarters are not palatial, but you could bunk with me, as I at
+first proposed; and since they were willing to rough it, we would have
+managed somehow. You could surely rely on my humble aid toward making
+their sojourn in the wilderness endurable. And _per contra_, a little
+cheering feminine society might have assisted your benevolent efforts
+toward my reclamation. Was it not selfish to leave me thus unconsoled
+and unconverted?"
+
+Well, the business is done now, with neatness and dispatch. That beast
+Hodge has told Jim all he knew or suspected, even to that fatal phrase
+of my wife's: so there's an end of his faith in me, and of any chance I
+might have had to set him straight. That was a fortnight ago, and I have
+not the face to answer him. When I have any more doctrinaire anchorites
+to convert, I shall not call a family council. But alas, poor Hartman!
+
+
+
+
+IV.
+
+A WILFUL PRINCESS.
+
+
+I was wrong about Hartman after all. He has written me again, and this
+is what he says:
+
+"Do you want to confirm the heretical opinions you argued against so
+manfully? You had revived my faith in friendship, Bob: I believed, and
+would like still to believe, that one man can be true and kind to
+another. And perhaps in general you had stirred and shaken me up more
+than you knew. Socrates outranks Pyrrho, and I am open to conviction.
+Possibly I have been too sweeping; I don't wish to dogmatize. It may be
+that I have lived alone too long, shut up in a narrow space, where light
+could enter only through my perversely colored glasses. At any rate,
+your coming was like opening a door and letting in a wholesome breeze.
+Have I offended you? I thought I was past asking favors from my kind:
+but do let me hear from you."
+
+Of course I had to answer that, and worse, to show it to the girls. Some
+men, now, would keep it to themselves, and preserve their dignity; but
+such is not my style. Let them crow over me if they must.
+
+They did. "Well, Robert," said Mabel, "you see now how absurdly mistaken
+you were. Perhaps hereafter you will allow us to manage our own affairs,
+and not complicate them with your bungling masculine attempts at
+superior wisdom." "I am glad to know, brother," said Jane, "that your
+friend is a gentleman, incapable of the base suspicions you would have
+attributed to him. You did your best to prevent our knowing him and
+carrying out your ideas for his improvement: now we shall be able to
+meet him cordially, and try to cheer him a little. But probably he is
+not at all as dark as you have painted him."
+
+Clarice would say nothing: she was in one of her high and mighty moods.
+Her soul is like a star, and sits up aloft; sometimes it twinkles, but
+more generally it does not. I often want to tell her that she is a
+creature too bright and good to come to breakfast like other folks; but
+somehow she has a way of keeping people at a distance, and even of
+repressing my pleasantries. We call her the Princess: She has to be
+approached with bated breath, and you must whisper your compliments if
+you want to fire them off at her; rear them as gently as a sucking
+child, in fact--and then they are very seldom appreciated.
+
+"Clarice," I said, "I want to get Hartman down here. Do treat him
+kindly, please; won't you, now?"
+
+She looked at me with her Juno air. "Why should I treat him kindly?"
+
+"O well, I won't say for my sake, because you wouldn't care for that.
+But the poor devil has lived in the woods so long."
+
+"He might have been well enough in his woods; but why should you bring
+your poor devils into civilized society, and expect me to bear with
+their gaucheries, in addition to your own?"
+
+There it is: she'll not forgive me in a year for upsetting her fine plan
+of going up there to beard the hermit in his den. She rarely takes these
+fancies, I must own; and when she does, she is not accustomed to be
+balked of them. As it has turned out, I might as well have let her have
+her way that time; there was no harm in it. "Princess, haven't you
+trampled on me enough? I was wrong, and I'm very sorry: what more can a
+man say? But Hartman had no hand in that."
+
+"Yes, that is clear now, no thanks to you. Small merit in confessing
+after you are proved guilty."
+
+"Well, you are pretty hard on a fellow. But you needn't punish Hartman
+for my fault. Thrash me all you like, but give him a chance. I give you
+my word of honor, Clarice, he is a finished gentleman, and very
+different from me. You needn't fear awkwardness in him. I knew you would
+like him."
+
+"How do _you_ know what I would like? If this Mr. Hartman wants to see a
+little of the world, I have no desire to prevent his being reclaimed
+from barbarism. Mabel and Jane can do that, without my aid. To tell you
+the truth, Robert, I don't care to meet the man, after the disgusting
+complications which you have introduced."
+
+I groaned--I couldn't help it. "Princess, please God, I will never
+interfere with you again. You shall be safe from any meddling of mine.
+If you will kindly say what you want, and say it slow, so that my
+limited faculties can take it in, I will try to act accordingly. But, if
+I may make so bold as to inquire, what are you up to now?"
+
+"I shall go away. O, you need not feel so badly about it, Bob: I am not
+tied to you and Mabel. I was in the South all winter, you know, and only
+returned while you were at your fishing. I have a dozen invitations for
+the summer: I think I will join Constance."
+
+"Not if I can help it, you won't. This is your natural home, Clarice,
+and you shall not be driven from it. Nobody shall enter here who is not
+acceptable to you: if anything about the house don't suit you, name it
+and it shall be corrected. You know Jane and Mabel worship you; so do
+the children, if you count them. I'll not have Hartman; or I can
+entertain him at the club while you are all at Newport."
+
+"That will be hospitality indeed. Would you desert your friend for me?"
+
+"I would not desert you for all the friends under the canopy. You have
+always ruled the house when you deigned to be in it, and you always
+will. I may be low in your books, but it does not follow that you are
+not high in mine. We can't do without you, Princess; you must stay. Name
+your price, and I'll pay it if it breaks me."
+
+"Very well then; I will remain, and meet your Mr. Hartman. But one thing
+must be distinctly understood: there must be no more crossing of my
+will. I must be absolutely free and unhampered, to plan and carry out
+what I see fit. I may possibly be wrong at times; but you will not know
+when, and it is not for you to judge. No more interference or
+opposition, remember. Do the terms suit you?"
+
+"O Lord, yes. I'll have a throne set up in the drawing-room, and
+everybody shall approach you Siamese fashion. And perhaps I had better
+come to you to see if my tie is right before dinner, and to practice
+what I shall say when we have company."
+
+"It might improve you. But Mabel should be competent to attend to those
+trifles. On one point I must instruct you, though. I shall doubtless do
+things that appear to you strange, perverse, incomprehensible. In such
+cases it will be best for you to walk by faith. No meddling nor
+espionage, mind."
+
+"Clarice, you don't think me capable of playing the spy on you?"
+
+"Not that exactly, but you sometimes indulge in little tricks and
+stratagems: you like to think that you hoodwink your wife--not that it
+ever succeeds--in small unimportant matters. Mabel and Jane may endure
+your attempts, if they like; but don't try them on me. They would never
+deceive me for a moment, of course; but I can't waste time in
+explaining that to you in detail. Besides, your fancied success would
+unsettle your mind, and so tend to disturb the domestic equilibrium."
+
+"Good heavens, Clarice! would I lie to you?"
+
+"No: you dare not. But let me have no subterfuges, no concealments, and
+no criticisms. What I may do you cannot expect to understand, nor is it
+necessary that you should."
+
+"Well, thought has been hitherto supposed to be free. When I see you at
+those little games of which you are to enjoy a monopoly, can't I have an
+opinion of them?"
+
+"O yes. The opinion will be of small value, but your poor mind must be
+amused and occupied somehow, I suppose. But you will be carrying your
+opinions about the house, and introducing an element of confusion. If
+you could keep your own counsel, now--but that is hopeless."
+
+"When you are operating on Hartman, for instance, it might confuse the
+programme if I were to say anything to him, eh?"
+
+"When I take Mr. Hartman up, it will be very much better for his welfare
+and yours for you to leave him in my hands."
+
+"O, he would rather be left there, no doubt, though they grind him to
+powder. But what the deuce am I to do? If I mayn't talk to anybody else,
+can't I come to you with my opinions--in odd moments, when your serene
+highness has nothing better on hand?"
+
+"You may bring your valuable ideas to me, and I will hear them, when I
+have leisure and inclination. Yes, that will be best. But no
+concealments, mind. When you think you know anything that affects me,
+come to me with it at once: otherwise you will be blurting it out to
+somebody else. You promise?"
+
+"I swear, by all my hopes of your royal favor. Anything else? I mean,
+has your majesty any further commands? You'll have to give me audience
+about three times a day, you know, to keep me in mind of all these
+rules, or I'll be safe to forget some of them."
+
+"You had better try to remember. I'll keep an eye on you. And now do you
+want any more, or have you learnt your lesson?"
+
+"I'll trust so. Henceforth I shall not call my soul my own. The humblest
+of your slaves craves permission to kiss the royal hand. I say, Clarice,
+you won't be rough on poor Hartman, will you? He's had hard lines: you
+could easily break him to pieces, what is left of him."
+
+"If there is so little left of him, there would be small credit in
+breaking him to pieces, as you elegantly express it. I shall probably
+let him alone."
+
+"Scarcely. There is a good deal left of him yet: he is as handsome a
+fellow, and as fine a fellow, as you'd be apt to find. You're tired of
+the regulation article, dancing man and such, that you meet every night:
+I don't wonder. This is something out of the common. He needs a little
+looking after, too. I wish now I had let you get at him in May, as you
+proposed."
+
+"Robert, if you fling that odious and vulgar figment of your debased
+imagination at me again, I will go away and never come back. You make me
+sick of the man's name. If you ever breathe a hint of this disgusting
+slander to him I will never forgive either of you, nor speak to you."
+
+"God forbid, Princess dear. Don't you know that your good name is as
+sacred to me as Mabel's? Wasn't I to come to you with notions that I
+couldn't put in words to anybody else?"
+
+"Let them have some shadow of reason and decency about them, then.
+Cannot a girl plan a rural excursion, in company with your sister and
+under your escort, without being accused of designs on a strange man who
+chances to be in the neighborhood? You try my patience sorely, Robert. I
+wonder how Mabel can endure you."
+
+"Well, he that is down can't fall any lower, as it says in Pilgrim's
+Progress. Walk over me some more, and then maybe you'll feel better.
+What the d--There, I'm at it again. Clarice, it might improve me if you
+would mix a little kindness with your corrections; handle me as if you
+loved me, like the old fisherman with his worms, you know. It
+discourages a fellow to get all kicks and no kisses."
+
+"Robert, look me in the eye and swear to purge your mind of that vile
+thought, and never to admit another that dishonors me."
+
+"O, I swear it. Bring me the Thirty-nine Articles and the Westminster
+Catechism and the Ten Tables, and I'll subscribe to all of 'em. I'll
+think anything you tell me to: I signed my soul away an hour ago." Here
+I saw that I had gone too far, and she was really angry. She's right; I
+must learn to check my confounded tongue, if I am to keep on any terms
+with the Princess. So I changed my tune, just in time. "Don't go,
+Clarice. Honestly, I beg your pardon; upon my soul, I do. Your word is
+all the evidence I want of any fact under heaven, of course. Princess
+dear, I've been fond of you since you were a baby, and it has grown with
+your growth--it has, really. I'll prove it some day: you wait and see.
+Forgive me this once, won't you? Don't speak, if you are tired, but just
+give me your hand, as they did in the Old Testament, in token of
+forgiveness."
+
+She gave it. I am not good at descriptions, but a man might go barefoot
+and fasting for a week, and be paid by touching such a hand as that. The
+queer thing is that I've known Clarice for over twenty years--I told you
+she had been in society for six--and practically lived with her most of
+that time, and yet she grows more surprising every day. It seems to be
+generally supposed that familiarity breeds contempt in such cases; that
+sisters, and wives, and the like, get to be an old story to the men who
+belong to them. Clarice is not that kind: possibly I am not. To be sure,
+she is neither my wife nor any blood relation; but I don't see that that
+makes any difference. They took out a patent for her up above, and
+reserved all rights, with no power of duplication. She might care for me
+a little more; but then I don't suppose I've ever given her any reason
+to. I am well enough in my way, but I'm not such an original and
+striking specimen of my 'sect' as she is of hers--not by a long shot.
+She was exhausted now, and that is how I got a chance to put in all this
+wisdom just here. I might talk to Mabel for a week, and it would produce
+no effect: but a little thing upsets the Princess, her organization is
+so delicate and sensitive. She is all alive and on fire, or else languid
+and disdainful: she can't take life easily, as people of coarser grain
+do, like me. Her brain weighs too much and works too hard; that uses her
+up. I don't doubt she has a heart to match; but it has never yet waked
+up to any great extent, so far as I have seen or heard. No matter;
+people will care for you all the same, Beauty, whether you care for them
+or not. Don't fancy that I am the only one--far from it: but I have the
+luck to be her adopted brother from infancy, and to have access to her
+when others have not. She is not always kind--very seldom, in fact, up
+to date: but it is a privilege to look at her, and any treatment from
+her is good enough for me. She used to tyrannize over me in this way
+when she was ten and I twenty, and so it will be, no doubt, to the end
+of the chapter. Outside, I sometimes take on a man-of-the-world air, and
+fancy that I can think of you lightly, my Princess--that is the correct
+society tone, and it does not pay to display the finer feelings of our
+nature to the general world: but when I come under the spell of your
+presence, I know that that is all humbug, and that you are Fair Inez of
+the ballad, God bless you. You and Hartman ought to get on together: it
+might be a good thing for you both--him especially. Mabel and Jane are
+women too, but they are as devoted to you as I am, according to their
+lights, and more jealous for you: jealousy seems to be no part of me,
+luckily. Well, between us we ought to be able to keep all harm from you,
+if you will let us.
+
+Of course I didn't say all this out loud, but only thought it. Then she
+opened her eyes and yawned a little.
+
+"Have I been asleep, Bob? I must have been: you tired me so. O yes, I
+know you think a good deal of me: that is an old story. Well, anything
+more?"
+
+"Only about poor Hartman, dear: you didn't promise yet."
+
+"Well, when he comes I will look him over and see what is to be done
+with him. I must go upstairs and dress now." And with this I had to be
+content.
+
+This conversation occurred of a Sunday afternoon, when Mabel and Jane
+had gone to Church, and taken Herbert with them: the infants were out
+for an airing with their nurse. Fortunately there was a long missionary
+sermon, and a big collection, to which I must send five dollars extra:
+the occasion was worth that much to me. As the Princess left the room,
+they came in. They looked at her, then at me. "What have you been doing
+to Clarice, Robert?"
+
+"Only preparing her to receive Hartman."
+
+"Preparing her! you great goose, what does she want with your
+preparation? You'll only prejudice her against him, and spoil any
+chances he might have. Let her alone, do. Haven't you made mischief
+enough between them already?"
+
+That is all they know about it. Churchgoing sometimes fails to bring the
+female mind into a proper frame. But you see they are ready to scratch
+out even my eyes at the thought that I have been rubbing her down the
+wrong way. No matter: I know what I know, and they need not try to make
+me believe that these things will go right without proper management.
+
+
+
+
+V.
+
+CONSULTATION.
+
+
+We usually go to Newport for the summer. As Mrs. Fishhawk says, the
+bathing is so fine, and the cliffs are such a safe place for children to
+play. Not that we care so much for the society: the Princess has seen
+the vanity of that and been bored with it, and the rest of us are very
+domestic people. After much persuasion through the mail, Hartman agreed
+to join us there: I was to pick him up in New York and take him down. A
+night or two before this, Clarice took me out on the aforesaid cliffs,
+which afford a fine walk in the moonlight with the right kind of
+company, but somewhat dangerous if you get spoony and forget to look
+where you are going. The Princess, it is needless to say, never commits
+this folly: she always has her wits about her, and wits of a high order
+they are, as not a few men have found to their cost, myself
+included,--many and many a time. She opened the ball.
+
+"Robert, do you remember our compact?"
+
+"I'm not likely to forget it. Your words are my law, more sacred and
+peremptory than the Ten Commandments, or those of the old codger who
+wrote 'em in blood because his ink had given out. As a servant looks to
+the hand of his mistress, so am I to watch your dark blue eye for
+direction and approval. Deign to cast a sweet smile, however faint, in
+this direction occasionally: it won't cost you much, and will encourage
+me. If the devotion of a lifetime--"
+
+"Yes, I know all that: at least you've said it often enough. Now you
+will have an opportunity to put it in practice. Drop generalities, and
+come to business."
+
+"My heart's queen, I am all attention. Speak, and thy slave obeys. Bid
+me leap from yon beetling crag into the billows' angry roar--"
+
+"Will you stop that, or shall I go into the house? We are not rehearsing
+private theatricals now."
+
+"Ah, indeed? I thought we might be. I expect to see some next week."
+
+"You will see my place at table vacant if you don't keep quiet, and
+listen to what I have to say. I can join Constance yet. You talk about
+your affection for me and anxiety to serve me, and when I want something
+definite of you, you go off into the Byronic, or the Platonic, or what
+you would perhaps call the humorous: it is not easy to discriminate
+them. Once for all, will you do as I bid you, or not?"
+
+When the Princess wants to bring a man to book, he has to come there,
+and stay there till he sees a favorable opening for a break: there was
+none such just now. So I called in the white-winged coursers of my too
+exuberant fancy, locked them up in the barn, begged the lady's pardon as
+usual, and composed myself into an attitude of respectful and devout
+attention, as if I were in church. It was not long after dinner: I
+wanted to have some more fun, but that did not seem to be just the time
+and place for it. My preceptress eyed me sternly, and waxed anew the
+thread of her discourse.
+
+"I told you that my actions might appear strange to your ignorance. I
+will tell you now what my plan is, so far as is necessary for your
+guidance: then perhaps you will have sense enough not to go gaping
+about, but to fall into line and do what is required of you. I have
+determined to see very little of this Mr. Hartman--"
+
+"O now, Clarice! After you promised! I relied on you--"
+
+"Be still, stupid, and hear me out. I shall see but little of him at
+first. You have made such an ado about the man, I am disposed to be
+interested in him, for your sake. There, that will do; let my hand
+be."--I was merely pressing it a little, I assure you, to testify my
+gratitude for this unusual consideration: I don't know when she ever
+owned to doing a thing for my sake before. "For your sake first, you
+great baby, and then, if he is worth it, for his own. But at the start,
+as I told you, I must look him over; and that I can do best at a little
+distance."
+
+"And then you mean to take him in and do for him? You can, of course;
+but, Princess dear, be merciful--for my sake first, and then, if he is
+worth it, for his own. Don't grind him up too fine: leave pieces of him
+big enough to be recognized and collected by his weeping friends."
+
+"Robert, you really ought to try to restrain your native coarseness.
+What can a man like you know of the motives and intentions of a woman
+like me? Poor child, if I were to put them before you in the plainest
+terms the facts and the dictionary allow, you could not understand
+them."
+
+As a quartz-crusher the Princess could have won fame and fortune. I hope
+she may not pulverize Hartman as effectually as she does me: he might
+not take it so kindly. To eliminate the metaphor, she is a master at the
+wholesome process of taking a man down: not that I don't often deserve
+it, or that it is not good for me. In fact, I've given her occasion,
+from her youth up, to get her hand in; and admiration of her skill binds
+up the wounds, so to speak, with which my whole moral nature is scarred
+at least sixteen deep. In case you should not follow my imaginative
+style, let me say in simpler language that I am used to it; but another
+man might not understand it. I consumed some more humble pie--these
+desserts occur frequently in the symposia of our conversations--and she
+resumed.
+
+"So I will leave him to Jane at first. She will be very sisterly and
+gracious, and will make the first stages of his return to the world easy
+and pleasant. This may last two days, or two weeks."
+
+"O, don't overdo it. He talked of staying but a week or ten days."
+
+"Dear Robert, you are so innocent. He will stay as long as I want him
+to."
+
+"What, whether you notice him or not?"
+
+"Of course. Are you six years old? Have you never seen me in action
+before?"
+
+"Body of Venus and soul of Sappho, I give it up. Of course you can do
+anything you like, but I never realized that you could do it without
+seeming to take a hand in the game. I strew ashes on my head like
+what's-his-name, and sit down in the dust at your feet. Forgive a
+penitent devotee for forming such lame and inadequate conceptions of
+your power. But what part do you want me to dress for in this improving
+moral drama?"
+
+"Your part is very simple. Of course I must be occupied. I should hardly
+shine as a wall-flower."
+
+"You would shine anywhere. If you were a violet by an old stone, you
+couldn't be half or a quarter hidden from the eye. But the supposition
+is impossible. If you were free, no other girl in the room would have a
+chance."
+
+"That is very passable, though not wholly new. You are improving, Bob.
+If you would give your mind to it, I could mould you into tolerable
+manners yet.--Well, I might get plenty of men from the houses around.
+But they are tiresome--staler than you, my Robert, though I see less of
+them--and I can't take the same liberties with them I do with you. You
+are to belong to me as long as I may want you."
+
+"That is not new at all, Princess. It has been so for years. Everybody
+about the house knows that, even the servants--and all our friends."
+
+"Yes, of course. But I am to make special use of my property for the
+next few days. You will have to be in constant attendance. You ought to
+enjoy the prospect, and the reality when it comes."
+
+"I do; I shall: bet your boots on that. O confound it, I've got my lines
+mixed already."
+
+"Rather. If you startle the audience with such a speech as that, what
+will Mr. Hartman think? You must put on your prettiest behavior, Bob.
+Make a desperate effort, and try to keep it up--for my sake, now."
+
+"For your sake I can be Bayard and Crichton and Brummell and all those
+dudes rolled into one. I'll order some new clothes when I go down. And
+you will have to be very gracious to me, you know."
+
+"Am I not gracious enough now, pet? How is this for a rehearsal?"
+
+"Beyond my wildest dreams, Empress. When you treat me thus for an hour,
+I can bear your ill usage for a year."
+
+"There will be no ill usage at present, if you behave. Now don't forget,
+and spoil the play. Understand, you are to pair off with me, as Mr.
+Hartman with Jane. Mabel is mostly occupied with the children; we will
+all look after her, of course. And there will be mixing and change of
+partners, but not much. You must watch, and obey my slightest hint--the
+turn of an eyelid, the flutter of a fan. I'll teach you all that."
+
+"I know a lot of it already: when it comes to watching you, I am a
+dabster. I'll behave as if I was at school to Plato and Confucius, and
+in training to succeed them both. Do you know, Princess, if you were to
+treat a stranger for half a day as you are treating me now, he would
+want to die for you?"
+
+"He might die for want of me before the day was over, if he grew
+lackadaisical over his wants. All men are not so chivalrous as you, my
+poor Robert. You may have to do that sort of dying before long. You must
+be ready to be dropped when the time comes to change the figures. No
+growling or moping, mind: you must submit sweetly, and take your place
+in the background with Jane, while the rest of the play goes on."
+
+"I know: I've been there before. I can find consolation in seeing you
+carry the leading part. One set of men passes away, and another set
+comes on; but the Princess goes on conquering, regardless of the moans
+of her victims as they writhe on the bloody battlefield. O, I'm used to
+being shoved aside, and feeding on my woes in silent patience. The
+flowret fades when day is done, and so does every mother's son Who
+thinks his course is just begun, And knows not that his race is run--How
+does it go on, Clarice? I forget the rest of it."
+
+"It is a pity you didn't forget the whole of it. I would if I were you,
+and quickly, lest you horrify some one else with it. You are too big to
+pose as a flowret, Bob."
+
+"Polestar of my faith, see here. I'll have to be around with Hartman,
+smoking and so on, nights, after you and the rest have turned in, and
+often in the daylight. You and Jane can't attend to his case in person
+all the time, you know, and I'm his host. What shall I say about you?"
+
+"Anything you like. Praise me to the skies, of course. That will be in
+keeping with your part as my cavalier; and he will see how things are
+between us--on your side, I mean. Tell him about my few faults, if you
+can bring yourself to mention them. Yes, you must; they will set off my
+many virtues. Be perfectly natural about it: you have known and
+cherished me from infancy, and so forth. Not a word, of course, about
+our compact, and these rehearsals, and my coaching you--O you great
+booby, were you capable of blurting that out? If you do, you'll spoil
+all, and I'll never forgive you. Remember now: you profess to dread my
+anger, and you have reason; you've felt it before. If you want me ever
+to trust you again, keep to yourself what is between us; regard it as
+sacred. O, I know you profess to look at all that belongs to me in that
+light; but show your faith by your works. Swear it to me now."
+
+I swore. That is a ceremony which has to be gone through rather
+frequently with the Princess, and somehow I don't mind it. But how the
+deuce is one to remember all these rules and regulations? I'll have to
+get Clarice to write them out for me, by chapter and verse, with big
+headings; then I'll get the thing printed, and carry it about with me,
+and study it nights and mornings. But Mabel might find it in my clothes:
+she is welcome to my secrets, but this is not mine. I might have it
+printed in cipher; but then I should be sure to lose the key. O,
+confound it all, I'll have to chance it: I'll be sure to slip up
+somewhere, and then there'll be a row. Well, why borrow trouble? Let's
+gather the flowers while we may: only there are none just here, and it
+is too dark to find them. Then a thought suddenly struck me: why not
+head off the difficulty by improving my position beforehand? "Princess
+dearest, do you like me better than you used to, or is this only part
+of the play, the excitement of practicing for a newcomer? Tell me,
+please--there's a dear."
+
+We were near the house now, and she darted away from me. "If you tells
+me no questions, I asks you no lies," she sang gaily as she ran in. O
+shades of Juliet and Cleopatra, what a woman that is--or what an idiot I
+am: I can't be sure which till I get an outside opinion. I'd give odds
+that within a fortnight Hartman will be far gone. It will be life or
+death for him, poor old man. But he's nigh dead now, inwardly speaking,
+and so has not much to lose. Anyway, he'll see that a world with Clarice
+in it is not as blank and chilly as he thinks it now--not by several
+thousand degrees. I fancy his thermometer will begin to go up pretty
+soon. He needs shaking up and turning inside out and upside down--a
+general ventilating, in fact, and I rather think Miss Elliston will
+administer it to him.
+
+
+
+
+VI.
+
+PREPARATION.
+
+
+I was mighty glad that Clarice felt this way about Hartman's coming; she
+has not waked up so, or come down from her Olympian clouds of
+indifference, in a long time. But still I thought it best to go around
+and make some more preparations. When I have a secret to carry, it
+oppresses my frank and open nature more than you would think; and I find
+that I can conceal it best by inquiring concerning the matter of it of
+persons who know nothing about it. Naturally I began with the head of
+the house. That is myself, I suppose, nominally; but every decent man
+allows his wife to fill the position, and get what comfort she can out
+of it.
+
+"Mabel," I said, "I hope that Hartman will enjoy himself here."
+
+"You told us he was not given to enjoying himself; on the contrary,
+quite the reverse. No doubt he will take us as he finds us. He will
+hardly want to go out to dinner every day, and meet the Vanderdeck's and
+the foreign princess."
+
+"But, Mabel, I trust you are all prepared to meet him in the right
+spirit."
+
+"What absurd questions you ask, Robert. You talk as if he were a bishop,
+come to convert us: I thought we were to convert him. I hope I do not
+need to be instructed how to receive my husband's friends. And Jane is
+ready to take an interest in him: she can be very nice, you know."
+
+"And Clarice: will she do her part?"
+
+"Nobody knows what Clarice will do on any occasion. She would be more
+apt to do what you wish if you would not trouble her about Mr. Hartman.
+We are not three little maids from school, to be taught our manners. Why
+can you not learn that matters would move just as well, yes, and better,
+without your continual interference, dear? Your blunders only complicate
+them, and disturb the harmony."
+
+Now that is a nice way for the wife of one's bosom to talk, isn't it?
+How often, O how often, would I remove the clouds of care from her
+placid brow, and smooth her path through life by graceful persiflage and
+appropriate witticisms: but she does not seem to appreciate them. I fear
+she must have had some Scottish ancestors. Sometimes I think she does
+not appreciate _me_. It is a cold world; a cold, heartless, unfeeling,
+unresponsive world, in which the sensitive spirit may fly around
+promiscuously like Noah's dove, and have to stay out in a low
+temperature. Wisely and beneficently is it arranged that Virtue should
+be her own reward, since she gets no other. I will try Jane next.
+
+"My dear sister, you know I go to town to-night, and expect to bring
+Hartman back. You will receive him kindly, for my sake, will you not?"
+
+Jane is a little prim at times, and I have to arrange my sentences
+carefully, when I am with her.
+
+"I will do that, of course: why so many words about it? Have you not
+been preparing me, and all of us, for this visit, for the last month? We
+know what is right, Robert: _your_ behavior is the only doubtful part."
+
+"But Clarice, sister? She is always so doubtful, as Mabel says; so
+capricious, so haughty, so unapproachable. You have great influence with
+her. Dear Jane, can you not persuade her to treat my poor friend
+kindly?"
+
+"Now, brother, why will you be such an unconscionable humbug? We all
+know that you are in her confidence, when any one is. What were you two
+talking about all last evening? Hatching some plot, no doubt. But it was
+not intended to be practiced on me--not on her part; that is your
+unauthorized addition to her text." And the maiden assumed the part of
+Pallas, and gazed at me with severity, as if she would read my inmost
+soul. But she can't beat Clarice at that. See here, young lady, you are
+too sharp; you are getting dangerously near the truth. I came near
+saying this out, but did not. Instead I took an injured tone.
+
+"You are a pretty sister, Jane, to go about suspecting me this way, and
+accusing me of intrigue and hypocrisy, and all kinds of black-hearted
+wickedness. What would I want to deceive you for? You know we all have
+to consider Clarice, and humor her: she is an orphan, and we are her
+nearest friends. She amuses herself with me sometimes, for want of
+another man at hand, and then throws me aside when the fit is over."
+
+"O yes, we all know that, of course. Well, brother, you can go to town
+with an easy mind. Leave Mr. Hartman to Clarice and me; when she is not
+in the humor to attend to him, I will."
+
+Now how does Jane come to know so much? Has the Princess been taking her
+into the plan too, as well as me? That I don't believe. Clarice would
+expect Jane to take her cue by intuition, and not bother to coach her as
+she has me: perhaps she can trust Jane farther. That must be it: one
+woman can see into another's mind where a man couldn't. I must put a
+mark on that for future reference. They do beat us at some minor points.
+Well, I didn't exactly get the best of that encounter: it seems to me I
+owe Jane one, which I must try and remember to pay.
+
+
+
+
+VII.
+
+INITIATION.
+
+
+Hartman arrived on schedule time, and was duly taken home with me. "Old
+man," I said, "welcome back to the amenities of life; to the tender
+charities of man and woman; to the ties, too long neglected, which bind
+your being to the world's glad heart. You are the prodigal returning
+from sowing his wild oats in the backwoods: the fatted calf shall be
+killed for you, in moderation, as per contract, and the home brewed ale
+drawn mild. We are quiet people, and live mostly by ourselves: that will
+suit your book. The giddy crowd, in its frivolous pursuit of amusement
+and fashion, surges by in the immediate vicinity, and old Ocean, in his
+storm-tost fury, dashes his restless waves upon our good back door, or
+adjacent thereto. But we give small heed to either one of them. The sea
+views and feminine costumes are supposed to be of the highest order,
+and there is polo at stated intervals, if you care for such; but these
+vanities have little to do with the calm current of our daily life. You
+will shortly have in front of you a christian family, united in bonds of
+long-tried affection and confidence. The earthly paradise, James, must
+be sought in the peaceful bosom of one's Home. After tossing on the
+angry billows of Water Street, how sweet to return to this haven of
+rest! And you too, world-worn and weary man of woes, shall receive
+attention. The furrows of care shall be smoothed out of your manly brow:
+gentle hands will bind up your wounds--even the one you got from that
+girl a dozen years ago, if it isn't healed yet. The shadows of gloomy
+and soul-debasing Theory will flit away from your bewildered brain, and
+in this healthful atmosphere your spirit will regain its long-lost tone,
+and embrace once more the ethereal images of Hope and Joy and Faith.
+Probably you will yet find some one to love in this wide world of
+sorrow; anyway, we hope to send you forth clothed and in your right
+mind."
+
+"I hope I'm properly clothed now, or will be with what I've got in my
+trunk; and I need to be in my right mind to take in all this eloquence.
+I was mistaken about you, Bob; you should have been a preacher. The only
+drawback is, you don't stick to one key long enough: these sudden
+changes in your woodnotes wild might confuse a congregation."
+
+"The church lacks vivacity and sense of humor, Jim: she's all for a dull
+monotone. Old Fuller is dead: his mantle descended on me, but they don't
+appreciate that style nowadays. To return to our topic, and deal with
+the duty that lies nearest. In an humble and pottering way, we are a
+happy family, James. We envy not the rich and great: seek elsewhere
+their gilded saloons, and tinsel trappings of pride; but you will find
+things pretty comfortable. I regret to say we'll have to do our smoking
+out of doors; but it is generally warm enough for that. If we are noted
+for anything, it is for modest contentment, unassuming virtue, and
+cheerful candor--just as you see them in me. Each face reflects the
+genuine emotions and guileless innocence of the heart connected
+therewith; more than that, they reflect one another, as in a glass. You
+can look at Mabel, and see all that is passing in my capacious bosom. We
+share each other's woes, each other's burdens bear, and if we don't drop
+the sympathizing tear frequently, it is because there is very seldom any
+call for it. We have no secrets from one another: limpid and pure flows
+the confidential stream--but it flows no further than the fence. You can
+say what you like to any of us, and it will not go out of the
+house--unless the servants overhear it; you'll have to look out for
+that, of course."
+
+"See here, Bob; judging by you, I had no idea I was coming among such
+apostolic manners, or I'd have taken a course of À Kempis. Are there any
+prayer-meetings near by, where I can go to freshen up?"
+
+"Within a mile or two, no doubt. Jane can tell you about them; she can
+lend you a prayer-book, anyway. But I was not meaning to discourage you:
+they will make allowances. My wife is an exemplary woman; if you want to
+get on with her, you'll have to take an interest in Herbert's bruises
+when he falls over the banisters. He is the only one of the children who
+will trouble you much; the others are small yet, happily. My sister is a
+pattern of propriety, but of rather an inquiring mind, and sympathetic
+if you take her the right way: she can talk with you about philosophy
+and science and your dried-up old doxies. Not that she knows anything
+about Schopenhauer, and Darwin, and Diogenes, of course; but she's heard
+their names, and she'll pretend to be posted--you know how women are.
+And when you need a mental tonic--the companionship of a robust
+intellect, the stimulus of wide acquaintance with the great world of men
+and things, a manly comprehension of any difficulties that you may meet,
+or sound and wise advice how to steer your way through the pitfalls and
+intricacies of the female character--in such cases, which will no doubt
+often arise, you have only to come to me. I know all about these
+matters, of which you have had no experience. I'll be at home as much as
+possible while you are there, and I'll stand by you, Jim."
+
+"Thanks, awfully--as I believe they say where we are going. Yes, you
+will be an invaluable mentor, Bob. Well, I'll try not to disgrace you.
+It is late: let us turn in."
+
+This important conversation took place on the boat. You see, when I was
+with Hartman in May, he took the lead; but in my own house, or on the
+way to it, I like to be cock of the walk. Besides, as I had prepared the
+women for his coming, so now it was necessary to prepare his mind to
+meet them. In my picture of our domestic felicity, I may have laid on
+some tints too heavily, as about our mutual confidence. But he will soon
+see how that is. You may notice that I said nothing about the Princess.
+There was a deep design in that omission. When the orb of day in all his
+glory bursts from his liquid bed upon the astonished gaze of some lonely
+wanderer on the Andes, or the Alps,--or our own Rockies, say,--the
+spectacle is all the more effective if the wanderer was not expecting
+anything of the kind; didn't suppose it was time yet, or, still better,
+didn't know there was any sun. That is the way Jim will feel when he
+sees Clarice. If he has forgotten about her wanting to go up there in
+the woods in May, O. K.; that will meet her views, and he'll be reminded
+of her existence soon enough.
+
+This is one of those delicate ideas which might not occur to the male
+mind unassisted: in fact, left to my native nothingness, I should
+probably have enlarged on her charms most of the evening. But she laid
+special stress on this point, that I was to say as little as possible
+about her beforehand, and fortunately I remembered it. Hartman thinks he
+is going to have a safe and easy time with me and two highly respectable
+ladies of sedate minds and settled habits. Sleep on, deluded James,
+while I finish my cigar here on deck: dream of the forest and the trout
+brooks, and your neighbor Hodge and your old tomcat. By to-morrow night
+your mental horizon will be enlarged, and when you return to your castle
+in the wilderness there will be some new sensations tugging at your
+vitals. It will be a change for you, old man, and you needed one. Well,
+I've given you enough to think of for now, and you'll get more before
+you are a week older. I hope he will come through it right: it is like
+taking one's friend to the surgeon to undergo an operation, when he
+doesn't know that anything ails him or is going to be done. Poor old
+Jim, I wouldn't have put up such a job on you if I didn't believe it was
+for your good. I am not a pessimist like you: I believe in God and the
+Princess.
+
+
+
+
+VIII.
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+
+The drive from the wharf is too long: I often think that the older part
+of the town ought to be submerged, or removed to one of the adjacent
+islands. We met the family at breakfast, and I said, "Ladies, you see
+before you a wild man of the woods, brought hither to be subdued and
+civilized by your gentle ministrations. By the way, Mabel, there was a
+corner in oil yesterday. I made fourteen thousand, and Simpkins went
+under; so you can have that new gown now." They paid no attention
+whatever to these pleasantries. Clarice was not there, or the sparkling
+fount of humor would have flowed less freely.
+
+Hartman has very good manners when he chooses, and in my house he would
+naturally choose; so he got on well enough. The children took to him at
+once, and he seemed to take to them. After breakfast I led him out for a
+walk, to show him the points of interest. Several very creditable
+cottages have been put up since he was here last: in fact, this is quite
+a growing place, for the country. As we went back he suddenly said,
+"Bob, who is this Clarice that your sister mentioned at the table? Fancy
+name, isn't it?"
+
+"O no," I said as indifferently as I could. He ought not to go springing
+her on me in that way: it makes a man nervous. "She's an orphan; a sort
+of cousin of Mrs. T. Got no brothers or sisters, and all that sort of
+thing; so we look after her a good deal. Sometimes she's with us,
+sometimes she's not. Was south all winter: got back while I was up there
+with you."
+
+Now what the deuce did I say that for? It'll brush up his rusty mental
+machinery, and help him to recall what she wants forgotten. Just so; of
+course.
+
+"Yes, I remember. She thought of joining you with Miss Jane. I wish you
+had let them come."
+
+"Well, you see, you don't know what these girls are used to; I do. There
+were no fit quarters for them at Hodge's. I had gone and written my wife
+a lot of rot, pretending his place was much better than it is."
+
+"With your usual unassuming virtue and cheerful candor; yes. We have no
+secrets from one another: the limpid stream of confidence flows
+unchecked and unpolluted. Just so. But see here, you old hypocrite, if
+there is another young woman in the family, you ought to have told me
+about her last night, when you were preparing my mind, you know, and
+pretending to explain the whole domestic situation.--Great heavens,
+who's that?"
+
+We had turned a corner, and come plump on the house; and there on the
+piazza, two rods away, sat a rare and radiant maiden, playing cat's
+cradle with my eldest son and heir. I can't tell you how she was
+dressed; but she was a phantom of delight when thus she broke upon our
+sight; a lovely apparition, sent to be Jim Hartman's blandishment. At
+least so it seemed, for he stood there and stared like a noble savage.
+As when the lightning descends on the giant oak in its primeval
+solitude--but I must stop this; she is too near, though she pretends not
+to see us yet. So I whispered in low and warning tones:
+
+"Brace up, Jim. She's not the one you met here twelve years ago, who
+jilted you at Naples: this one wasn't out of her Fourth Reader then.
+Don't get them mixed, or be deceived by a chance resemblance." I thought
+it was better to lay his embarrassment on that old affair, you see. But
+that was all nonsense: he never saw anybody like Clarice before--how
+should he?
+
+"Confound you, Bob," he muttered between his teeth, "so you've been
+practising your openhearted innocence on me. Get on with it now, and
+finish it up."
+
+He pulled himself together, and I went through the introduction with due
+decorum; then I got away as soon as I could. You see, I was unmanned by
+the spectacle of so much young emotion, and somewhat exhausted by my own
+recent exertions. I found a cool corner in the library; and presently
+Jane had to come in. "What is the matter with you, Robert? Why do you
+sit there grinning like an idiot?" Perhaps a smile of benevolence had
+overspread my striking countenance; and that's the way she distorts it.
+I could not tell her what pleased me, so I said I had been reading a
+comic paper. "You write your own comic papers, I suspect; and bad enough
+they are. If you go on at this rate, you will end by editing the _Texas
+Siftings_. Do try to be decent, brother, while you have a guest in the
+house." I suppose she thinks that is a crushing rebuke, now. I said I
+would try, and told her she had better join Clarice and Hartman, who
+would probably be tired of each other by this time. Here again I have
+played into the Princess' hands. She doesn't want Jim to see too much of
+her at first, but to get used to the blinding glare by degrees, and take
+his physic in small doses, until he can bear it in larger. At least I
+hope so: if I've made a mistake and spoiled the procession, I'll learn
+it soon enough. But Jane wouldn't go unless it was right: that's the
+good of being a woman. You don't catch me interrupting them, or going
+near the Princess when she has any of her procedures on foot, unless I
+am called.
+
+
+
+
+IX.
+
+AT NEWPORT.
+
+
+I could not tell you all that occurred that week; but it went exactly as
+Clarice intended and had foretold. She was gracious and equable and
+gentle, a model young lady of the social-domestic type; but Hartman did
+not see much of her. I on my part was kept steadily occupied, what with
+boats, and horses, and parasols, and fans, and wools, and wide hats, and
+more things than you could think of. It was, "Robert, come out on the
+cliffs," or "Robert, get my garden gloves, please; they are in the
+sitting-room, or somewhere else;" or "Robert, take me to town; I must
+telegraph to Constance;" or "Bob dear, would you mind running over to
+Miss Bliffson's, and telling her that I can't go to the Society this
+afternoon; and on your way back, stop at the milliner's and see if my
+hat is done." I usually attended to these commissions promptly; when you
+have women about, your generous heart will rejoice to protect and
+indulge their helplessness. They are the clinging vine, you are the
+sturdy oak; and then, as I said, Clarice is an orphan. Hartman at first
+showed an inclination to relieve me of the lighter part of these useful
+avocations, such as taking her about over the rocks and in the bay; but
+she very quietly, and without the least discourtesy, made him understand
+that no foreigners need apply for that situation. Other men were coming
+after her every day, but she avoided them or sent them to the right
+about: she can do that in a way to make you feel that you have received
+a favor. She kept reminding me that it was my business to wait on her:
+if these things were paid for in cash, I should want high wages, for
+the duties are far from light. But I can stand it: within the bosom of
+Robert T. glows a spark of warm and pure philanthropy. When I see my
+fellow-creatures in need, and this good right arm refuses to extend its
+friendly aid, may my hand cleave to the roof of my mouth--O well, you
+know what I mean. I used to retire to my meagre and philosophic
+cot-bedstead with aching limbs and an approving conscience: I never was
+worked so hard before. Some of these errands were perfectly needless, I
+knew. She can't want to get me out of the way for an hour or two, for I
+am never _in_ the way; nor simply to show what she can do, for that is
+an old story, familiar to all concerned. Doubtless she has some high
+moral end in view; perhaps to teach Hartman what are the true relations
+of man and woman, and how the nobler animal can be trained to be a
+helpmeet and boy-of-all-work to the weaker. Whether this will suit his
+views I doubt; but she knows what she is about. It is mine not to
+question why, mine not to make reply, mine simply to go on doing what my
+hand finds to do--of which there is quite enough at present. Meanwhile,
+everybody else is having a nice easy time, while I am laboring like six
+dray-horses for the general good. Hartman sits about with Jane, and they
+seem to be getting on finely. Mabel also appears to enjoy his society.
+Sometimes she looks at me and at Clarice, and then at Jim, in a way
+which might indicate a notion that things are too much mixed, and that
+the Princess ought to be giving her attention to Hartman's case. I think
+so too, but it is not for me to suggest it. I feel like asking Mrs. T.
+what all these complications mean, and why she does not straighten them
+out: she is Clarice's relative and hostess, and head of the house when I
+am away. But it will straighten itself pretty soon now, and a new tangle
+will begin for the predestined victim. Wild man of the woods, your hour
+will soon strike, and the grim executioner in the black mask will
+prepare to take your head off. You will see a hand not clearly visible
+to the outside world--a very beautiful hand it is too, as I ought to
+know--that will beckon you to your doom: you will hear a voice whose
+silvery music will drown all fears, all scruples, all world-sick
+longings for your woman-hating moods, all memories of your lost Lenore
+of long ago, and tell you that resistance and delay are vain. What the
+details of the process may be, and whether joy or woe will tip the
+scales for one who takes things as seriously as you do, I cannot tell;
+but it is coming, and it is coming presently. You may not like it: you
+are not used to it as I am; but you cannot help yourself. Farewell to
+the old life, the old delusions, the old fancied knowledge: you will
+find yourself a small boy in primary school, beginning the world anew.
+You think you are locked up in steel, defended by your indifference,
+your disgust, your unbelief in Life. These glittering generalities will
+fall into dust before the wand of a magician who has some eminently
+particular business with you. You have sounded the depths, and found
+them shallow; you have tested values, and they are less than nothing,
+and vanity; you have emptied the pincushion, and only bran is there. My
+skeptical friend, a sharp needle is there yet, and it will prick your
+finger: there are depths that you know nothing about, and heights too,
+it may be: there are thrills of life that will go through all your
+veins, and show you that you are not as near dead as you supposed. You
+were but a boy when that girl gave you your quietus, as you imagined;
+you are a man now, with more in you than you fancy, and another girl may
+bring you to life. Still in your ashes live their ancient fires, and I'm
+mistaken if they don't start a superior blaze before long. Well, well,
+I hope it will make a man of you.
+
+
+
+
+X.
+
+ON THE CLIFFS.
+
+
+I was betrayed into the above apostrophe by the violence of my
+sympathies; but the lucid and graphic sentences which precede this
+moralizing ably sum up the situation during the first week of Hartman's
+visit. A good deal of wisdom was in circulation: I said some things
+myself which deserve to be remembered, and the others occasionally dropt
+a remark which showed how the ball was moving. You will want the chief
+of these outpourings in order of time, as landmarks in this history.
+
+Clarice took me apart the first day and began to cross-examine me: that
+is, she told me to go outside and wait for her, and by the time she came
+it was dusk. Why is it that the garish day seems to freeze our finer
+emotions, and reduce us to the monotonous level of a dull cold
+practicality? It is under the calm light of moon and stars that soul
+speaks to soul, and we gain those subtler experiences, those deeper
+views of our own nature and that of our nearest and dearest, which so
+far transcend the plodding sciences of the laboratory, the useless
+learning of the pedant, and the empty wisdom of the children of this
+world.
+
+"Come, Robert, wake up; don't sit mooning there like a calf. Make your
+report."
+
+"Report?" said I, thus rudely startled from a train of thought which
+might have borne rich fruit for coming generations. "What about?"
+
+"What about? You forget yourself. Whose employ are you in?"
+
+"Well, on Water Street I am supposed to be carrying on business for
+myself, and at home I am the envied husband and father of a happy and
+admiring family. Clarice, I was meditating on subjects of much moment;
+and the duties of hospitality claim my valuable time. Did you wish to
+speak to me particularly?"
+
+"None of your nonsense, now. What did you talk about last night on the
+boat?"
+
+"All sorts of things. My conversation is always improving. I explained
+to Jim that his reëntrance on society could not be made under fairer
+auspices; that models of deportment and of all the virtues would be
+about him on every hand; that a pure atmosphere of love and peace
+pervaded this modest mansion; that joy was unconfined; that we could lay
+our weary heads on each other's bosoms in the repose of perfect trust,
+knowing that not a thought entered any one of them which the angels
+above might not look into with satisfaction, and--"
+
+"You talk too much about bosoms, Robert: it is not in good taste. What
+did you say about me?"
+
+"Divil a word, bedad. Wasn't that right? Didn't you tell me to keep
+dark, and not mention you?"
+
+"Not unnecessarily. But didn't he ask?"
+
+"He'd forgotten all about you. Now, Princess, don't be offended; there
+was next to nothing to forget, you know. It's not as if he had ever seen
+you, or really heard anything about you. O, I'll talk you up to him
+whenever you say so; to-night, if you like. But I thought his forgetting
+was what you wanted. Didn't I manage it well? Do own that now, please.
+Let those cerulean orbs shed one ray of gentle light upon the path of a
+weary wayfarer--yes, that's better. Have I merited your approval, Serene
+Highness?"
+
+"You've done very well--for you. But was it necessary to tell so many
+lies, Bob?"
+
+"Now _that_ is not in good taste, if I am a judge--to put such ugly
+names upon the graceful fancies with which I decorate the plain, rude
+facts of everyday life. What are we without Imagination, that glorious
+gift which causes the desert to rejoice and blossom like your little
+flower-bed in the back yard at home? You know, Clarice, that my mind is
+a deep clear well of Truth, and my lips merely the bucket that draws it
+up. Where will you get candor and veracity, those priceless pearls, if
+not from me?"
+
+"Robert, you have fallen into this way of practising your little tricks
+and deceptions on everybody. O, I know you mean no harm; it is merely
+for your own amusement. But Mabel and Jane don't quite understand it."
+
+"Couldn't you explain it to them, Clarice? Some people have no sense of
+humor. I can't well go around saying, This is a joke; please take it in
+the spirit in which it is offered."
+
+"O, it does no great harm: they are very seldom deceived, and perhaps
+they will learn to make allowances for you by and by. But you may be
+tempted to try your games on me: if I ever catch you at that--Remember,
+I am not to be trifled with."
+
+"Perish the thought, and perish the caitiff base who would harbor it.
+Princess, you are sharper than I. Do you think I would be fool enough to
+try any tricks on you, when I should be found out at once?"
+
+"People generally find you out at once, but that doesn't seem to stop
+you. How can I tell whether I can trust you? I don't believe you know
+yourself when you are serious--if you ever are."
+
+"There is one subject on which I am serious--deeply so, and always.
+Clarice, when I die, if you will see that the autopsy is properly
+performed, you will find your initials, as the poet says, neatly
+engraven on my blighted heart."
+
+"Robert, sometimes I fear you have incipient softening of the brain."
+
+"And if I have, is not that a reason why I should be watched and guarded
+tenderly--why loving arms should enfold my tottering frame, and sweet
+smiles cheer my declining path, and a strong firm brain like yours
+support my failing intellect? Clarice, be gentle with me. I am an orphan
+like yourself; soon, if you read the future aright, to be laid beneath
+the cold clods of the valley. When I am sleeping under the daisies in
+the lonely churchyard, you will say to yourself, He was my friend, my
+more than brother: he loved me with a loyal and self-oblivious devotion.
+And then, in those sad hours of vain remembrance, every unkind word that
+you have spoken, all the coldness and cruelty which have pierced my
+patient breast, will return to torture yours. Be warned in time,
+Clarice, and make it easy for me while you have the chance."
+
+"Robert, if you have a talent, it is for shirking a subject you are
+afraid of. When you go off like this, I know you are hiding something
+from me. What is it this time?"
+
+I saw things were getting serious. She was bound to get it out of me,
+and I might as well give in. "Princess, I will confess, and throw myself
+on your mercy. Strike, but hear me. It won't pay you to be cross now,
+for you've got to be with me till you conclude to take Hartman up; we
+can't be quarrelling all the time, you know. He asked me about you this
+morning; Jane had spoken of you at breakfast. I put him off with general
+remarks about your being down south last winter, and the like of that;
+then suddenly my brain slipped--it _is_ softening, you see--and I said
+you had come back when I was in the woods with him. That started him,
+and he recalled your notion of going up there."
+
+"You are sure you didn't mention it yourself? What did he say?"
+
+"Merely that he wished I had let you and Jane come. He likes Jane. Upon
+my honor now, he had no suspicion of anything."
+
+"You goose, how often have I told you there was nothing to suspect? But
+men are so coarse. Well, is that all? What else are you trying to
+conceal?"
+
+"On my soul, Princess, that's all. I explained it all right, and he was
+commencing to berate me for not preparing him to meet you as well as the
+others, when we suddenly came on you, and you struck him deaf and dumb
+and blind. He swore at me under his breath just before I introduced
+him." Here my feelings overcame me again.
+
+"Well, there's no harm done. But you really must be more careful, Bob.
+Try and make your poor mind work better while it lasts; don't forget my
+instructions again, and when you have made a blunder, tell me at once.
+You are so light, so devoted to your frivolous amusements; you seem to
+be drifting into second childhood, thirty years too soon. If you had an
+object, now, a serious purpose in life: if you really cared for
+anything--even for me!"
+
+She cuts me when she talks like that. "Clarice, my regard for you is so
+undemonstrative that you fail to appreciate its depth. If I were to make
+a fuss over it, now, and use a lot of endearing epithets and big
+professions, perhaps you would believe me. Some time you will know
+whether I care for you or not; whether I've got anything in me, and am
+capable of acting like a man. You wait and see. But I wish I knew what
+you are going to do with poor Jim."
+
+"Some time you will know: you wait and see. You can go and comfort him
+now. Good night, poor Bob."
+
+
+
+
+XI.
+
+EXPLANATIONS.
+
+
+I went and comforted him. "Well, old man," I said with a cheerful air,
+"how do you get on?"
+
+"Robert," said he, "do you suppose I would have come here if I had known
+what an atrocious humbug you are? Do you imagine for a moment that my
+relatives, if I had any, would have subjected my innocence to such
+insidious guardianship? Have you brought me here to destroy my faith,
+and pollute my morals, and poison my young life with the spectacle of
+your turpitude?"
+
+"You're improving already, Jim. When I saw you last you hadn't any
+faith, nor much morals; your youth was away back in the past, and your
+strength was dried up like railroad doughnuts; you were ready to fall
+with the first leaves of autumn. Well, since you are here, you can stay
+till you see how you like us. What do you think of Clarice?"
+
+"She has given me no basis on which to think of her, beyond her looks;
+they rather take one's breath away. You beast, what do you mean by
+springing a face like that on me without warning, after all your
+humbugging talk last night, pretending to post me on every one I was to
+meet? And I say, do you always stand guard over her when anybody comes
+near?"
+
+"Well, you see, you were so overcome by the first sight of her this
+morning, that it seemed no more than fair to let you recover your
+breath, as you say, and get used to her by degrees. But, James, this is
+unseemly levity on your part. What have we to do with girls? Let us
+leave them to the baser spirits who have use for them. The world's a
+bubble, and the life of man of no account at all. We have tried it, and
+it is empty; hark, it sounds. Vain pomp and glory of it all, we hate ye.
+Ye tinsel gauds, ye base embroideries, ye female fripperies, have but
+our scorn. What are flashing eyes, and tossing ringlets, and rosy lips,
+and jewelled fingers, to minds like ours? Let us go off to the Nitrian
+desert, Jim, away from this eternal simper, this harrowing routine."
+
+"You must have been reading up lately, my boy. I left all that in the
+woods, Bob, and came down here in good faith for a change of air,
+prepared to learn anything you might have to teach me. If you've got any
+more traps and masked batteries, let them loose on me; practice on me to
+your heart's content. You've undertaken to convert me, and I'm here to
+give you a chance: a fine old apostle you are. But I don't quite
+understand Miss Elliston's position here, Bob."
+
+"Her position here, or anywhere else, is that she does about as she
+pleases, and makes everybody else do it too, as you will see before your
+hair is gray, my learned friend. As I may have told you, we are her
+nearest relatives: she is an orphan."
+
+"Parents been dead long?"
+
+"About seventeen years. What's that got to do with it?"
+
+"O, not much; don't be so suspicious. Do you think I'm trying to play
+some trick on you, after your model? How should I, a helpless stranger
+in a strange land, betrayed by the friend in whom I trusted? I'm an
+orphan myself too. So that Miss Elliston is in a measure dependent on
+your kindness?"
+
+"O, don't fancy that she's a poor relation, or anything of that sort.
+She's got more cash than she wants, and loads of friends: had twenty
+invitations for the summer. If you don't behave to suit her, she's
+liable to go off any day to Bar Harbor, or Saratoga, or the Yosemite, or
+Kamtchatka."
+
+"Very good of her, to stay here with you, then."
+
+"Well, Mabel is deeply attached to her; so is Jane, and the children of
+course. Her parents and mine were close friends in the country--where I
+came from, you know. She and I were brought up together; that is, she
+was--I was mostly brought up before her appearance on this mundane
+sphere. We used to play in the haymow, and fall from the apple trees
+together, and all that. O, Clarice is quite a sister to me--a pretty
+good sister too, all things considered."
+
+"And you are quite a brother to her, as I see. Strange, that it never
+occurred to mention her, when you were describing the various members of
+your family. Does her mind match her personal attractions?"
+
+"She's got as good a head as you have, old man, or any other male
+specimen I've struck. I myself meet her on almost equal terms. O, hang
+that; I don't either. This is no subject for profane jesting. Talk about
+the inferiority of women! If the moralists and stump-speakers had one
+like her at home, they'd change their tune. But there are no more like
+her."
+
+"You speak warmly, Bob. To Clarice every virtue under heaven. Beautiful,
+brilliant, accomplished, amiable; you are a happy man to have such an
+annex to your household--even if she wasn't worth naming at the start."
+
+"Amiable--who said she was amiable? Leave that to commonplace women and
+plain everyday fellows like me. You can't expect that of her sort, Jim.
+She can be very nice when she pleases. I suppose she has a heart; it has
+never waked up yet. When it does, it will be a big one. We don't expect
+the plebeian virtues of her."
+
+"She has a conscience, I hope? If not, it might be better to go away,
+and stay away. You ought not to keep dangerous compounds about the
+house, Bob."
+
+"She won't explode--though others may. A conscience? I think so. She
+couldn't do a mean thing. She keeps a promise: she has more sense of
+justice than most women. But you can't apply ordinary rules to her. She
+is of the blood royal: the Princess, we call her. Can't you see, Jim?
+You are man enough to take her measure, so far as any one can."
+
+"I see her outside; it is worth coming here to see, if I were an artist
+or an æsthete. She has deigned to show me no more as yet."
+
+"It is all of a piece: the rest matches that, as you will see in time.
+There is but one Clarice."
+
+"Bob, you are different from last night. I believe you are telling the
+truth now."
+
+"She sobers you. When you have been with her, when you think of her, it
+is as if you were in church--only a good deal more so."
+
+"Very convenient and edifying, to have such a private chapel in one's
+house. Bob, in this mood I can trust you. Tell me one thing: why did you
+never mention her to me?"
+
+"She doesn't wish me to talk of her to strangers."
+
+"And now the prohibition is removed?"
+
+"You are not a stranger now. She knows you, and you have seen her."
+
+"Well, you are loyal. Does she appreciate such fidelity?"
+
+"We are very good friends. From childhood we have been more together
+than most brothers and sisters. More or less, I have always been to her
+as I am now. She is used to me. I do not ask too much of her. Don't
+fancy that I am in her confidence, or any one: she has a royal reserve.
+See here, Jim; I am making you one of the family."
+
+"I understand. I must ask you one thing: why did you bring me here, to
+expose me to all this?"
+
+"You needed a change, Jim, as you half owned just now; almost any change
+would be for the better. I wanted you to see the world again: there is
+in it nothing fairer or richer than Clarice."
+
+"You go on as if she were a saint; and yet you say she's not."
+
+"You can answer that yourself, Jim. She's far from it: you and I are not
+saint-worshippers. But she has it in her to be a saint, if her attention
+and her latent force were turned that way. She can be anything, or do
+anything. She hasn't found her life yet. She bides her time, and I wait
+with her. Her wings will sprout some day. I like her well enough as she
+is."
+
+"Evidently. Do you know, old man, that you are talking very freely?"
+
+"Am I the first? or do you suppose I would say all this to any chance
+comer? You opened your soul to me in May, as far as you knew it: you are
+welcome to see into mine now."
+
+"There is a difference. I cared for nothing, and believed in nothing; so
+my soul was worth little. Yours is that of a prosperous and happy man."
+
+"Externals are not the measure of the soul, Jim, nor yet creeds. I know
+a gentleman when I see him, and so do you. Your soul will get its food
+yet, and assume its full stature; you've been trying to starve it
+partly, that's all."
+
+"Do you talk this way to your Princess, Bob?"
+
+"No. She is younger than we: why should I bore her? You and I are on
+equal terms: she and I are not."
+
+"This humility is very chivalric, but I don't quite understand it in
+you, Bob."
+
+"You can't: you've been so long unused to women, and you never knew one
+like her. If you had, it would have been too early; what does a boy of
+twenty know of himself, or of the girls he thinks he is in love with, or
+of the true relations that should exist between him and them? Call it
+quixotic if you like; I don't mind. Any gentleman, that is, any
+spiritual man, has it in him to be a Quixote. When you come to know
+Clarice, you will understand."
+
+"Do you call yourself and me spiritual men, Bob?"
+
+"Yes; why not? Spirituality does not depend on the opinions one chances
+to hold, but on the view he takes of his own part in Life, and on the
+inherent nature of his soul. We are not worshippers of mammon, or
+fashion, or any of the idols of the tribe. I live in the world, and you
+out of it; but that makes little difference. You were in danger of
+becoming a dogmatist, but you are too much of a man for that. We both
+live to learn, and we can spend ourselves on an adequate object when we
+find it."
+
+"Bob, if you don't talk to her like this, she doesn't know you as I do."
+
+"No human being knows another exactly as a third does. We strike fire at
+different points--when we do at all, which is seldom--and show different
+sides of ourselves to such few as can see at all. She does not care
+especially for me: why should she? But she has great penetration--more
+than you have, far more than I. She sees my follies and faults as you
+don't; she is a sort of a confessor. At present she is a Sunday-school
+teacher, and I am her class."
+
+"What _do_ you talk of, all the time?"
+
+"It's not all the time, by any means. That is as she pleases; just now
+it may be a good deal. By and by it may be your turn: then you'll know
+some things you don't now. There is nothing I say to her which the world
+might not overhear, if the world could understand it; and nothing that I
+can repeat. Jim, I am done: we are up very late."
+
+"Two things I must say yet, or ask, old man. You would stand by this
+girl against the world; and yet you have charged yourself with me. It
+may be idle to formulate remote and improbable contingencies, but it is
+in our line. Would you take her part against me, and be my enemy--you
+who are my only friend?"
+
+"I would stand by her against the world, assuredly. I would stand by you
+against all the world but her, I think. You two might quarrel, but
+neither of you would be wrong: I know you both, and you don't know each
+other. So I take the risk; it is none. When that time comes, neither of
+you will find me wanting."
+
+"I believe it. The other thing is this--forgive me if I go too far. Do
+you know what even intelligent and charitable people would say of all
+this? That it was very queer, very mixed, very dubious."
+
+"They are not our judges, nor we theirs. What would they say of your
+theories, and your way of life? To be sure, these concern yourself
+alone. So is this inwardly my affair; it binds, it holds no other. Must
+a man live in the woods, to form his own ethical code? Here too one may
+keep clean hands and a pure heart, and do his own thinking. Life is very
+queer, very mixed, very dubious; I take it as it comes. O, I see truth
+here and there in your notions of it, though it has done well by me. If
+I find in it something unique and precious, shall I thrust that aside,
+because the statutes have not provided for such a case? But one thing I
+can reject, so that for me it is not: the baser element. Gross
+selfishness and vulgar passions are no more in my scheme than in yours:
+if their suggestions were to rise, it would be easy to disown them. The
+human beasts who let their lower nature rule, the animals who care for
+themselves and call it caring for another, are not of our society. O
+yes, in common things one must get and keep his own--the body must have
+its food; but one's private temple is kept for worship, and owns a
+different law. It is not always, nor often, that one can build his
+shrine on earth, and enter it every day: when a man has that exceptional
+privilege, he must and may keep his standards high enough to fit. You
+understand?"
+
+"I do: I am learning. I knew all this in theory, but supposed it ended
+there. And your Princess, you think is of our society?"
+
+"No root of nobleness is lacking in her; when the season comes, the
+plants will spring and the garden bloom. But we cannot expect to
+understand her fully; she is of finer clay than we."
+
+"One thing more, and then I will let you go. There is more of you than I
+thought, my boy. In May I knew you had a heart; but one who heard you in
+the woods would have set you down just for a kindly, practical man of
+the world. Last night, and most of the time to-day, you were the
+trifler, the incorrigible jester. Why do you belie yourself so and hide
+your inmost self from all but me?"
+
+"Because I've got to convert you, old man. It is a poor instrument that
+has but a single string; and David's harp of solemn sound would bore me
+as much as it would other folks, if I tried to play on it all the time.
+How many people would sit out this talk of ours, or read it if we put it
+in print? Taken all in all, the light fantastic measure suits me much
+better. To see all sides, we must take all tones. The varying moods
+within fit the varying facts without; to get at truth we must give each
+its turn. But in the main it is best to take Life lightly. Your error
+was that you were too serious about it: it's not worth that. Most things
+are chiefly fit to laugh at. The highgrand style will do once in a way:
+we've worked it too hard now. Let's come down to earth. I wanted to show
+you that I could do the legitimate drama as well as you, and yet wear a
+tall hat and dress for dinner. See?"
+
+"That's all very well, Bob, but I can discriminate between your
+seriousness and your farce. Perhaps it is well to mix them, or to take
+them as they are mixed for us. You may be right in that; I'll think it
+over. Yes, I can see now that Heraclitus overdoes it, and that I used
+to. Well, my lad, you are a queer professor of ethics; but I'm not sure
+you've brought me to the wrong school."
+
+
+
+
+XII.
+
+AWAKENING.
+
+
+The next day Clarice took me off as usual. "Well, have you made any more
+blunders?"
+
+"Not one. You have nothing to reproach me with this time, Czarina."
+
+"You kept Mr. Hartman up dreadfully late. What were you talking about so
+long?"
+
+"O, he is prepared to find you wonderful, and to come to time whenever
+you want him. I told him your wings weren't grown yet: you were the
+Sleeping Beauty in the Enchanted Palace; the hour and the man hadn't
+arrived. You dwelt in maiden meditation, and the rest of it."
+
+"You did not cheapen me, surely, Robert?"
+
+"God forbid: do I hold you cheap, that I should rate you so to others?
+He may tell you every word I said, when you begin to turn him inside
+out; there was none of it that you or I need be ashamed of. He knows,
+both by his own observation and from my clear and impressive narrative,
+that you are remote and inaccessible--the edelweiss growing high up in
+its solitude, where only the daring and the elect can find its haunt."
+
+"That is very neat. Did it take you three hours to tell him that? I
+heard you come in as it struck two."
+
+"Too bad to disturb your slumbers, Princess: we will take our boots off
+outside, next time. Naturally you were the most important topic we could
+discuss; but I also explained his advantages in being thrown so much
+into my own society. O, he is getting on. He said--"
+
+"I don't want to know what he said. The man is here, and I can see--and
+hear, when I choose--for myself. Do you think I would tempt you to
+violate what might be a confidence, Robert?"
+
+"But if I repeat to you what I said, why not what he said?--except that
+his observations would not be so powerful and suggestive as mine, of
+course. Otherwise I don't see the difference."
+
+"Now that is stupid, Bob. The difference is that you belong to me, and
+he doesn't--as yet."
+
+I can't tell you how she says these things. If I could put on paper the
+tone, the toss of that lovely head, the smile, the sparkle of eyes and
+lips, that go with what you might call these little audacities, then you
+would know how they not only accent and punctuate the text, but supply
+whole commentaries on it. If you get a notion that the Princess is
+capable of boldness, or vulgar coquetry, or any of the faults of her sex
+or of ours, you are away off the track, and my engineering must have
+gone wrong. But I must stop this and get back to my report.
+
+"One thing I must repeat, Princess. I got off a lot of wisdom for Jim's
+benefit. You wouldn't think how wise it was; deep principles of human
+nature, and rules for the conduct of life, and such. It did him no end
+of good: and then he said that if I didn't talk to you that way, you
+couldn't know me as well as he does."
+
+"He must know you remarkably well then. Just like a man's conceit. Poor
+Bob, who should know you through and through if I don't?--Why don't you
+talk to me that way then, and improve me too?"
+
+"As the Scotchwoman said when they asked her if she understood the
+sermon, Wad I hae the presumption? When you catch me taking on airs and
+trying to improve you, make a note of it. No, no, Princess dear; the
+lecturing and improving between us had better remain where they are."
+
+"But, Robert, perhaps I would like to have you vary this continual
+incense-burning with snatches of something else."
+
+"I dare say. Do you know, Clarice, sometimes I think I am an awful fool
+about you."
+
+"That is what the doctors call a congenital infirmity, my dear. No use
+lamenting over what you can't help. Worship me as much as you like; it
+keeps you out of mischief. But you might change the tune now and then,
+and give me some of your alleged wisdom."
+
+"Shall I becloud that pure and youthful brow with metaphysic fumes?
+Should I soil your dainty muslins with the antique dust of folios, and
+oil from the midnight lamp? You wait till you take up Hartman; perhaps
+you can stand it from him. But if I were to hold forth to you in the
+style he prefers, you would get sick of me in twenty minutes. Let it
+suffice that my lonely vigils are spent in severe studies and profound
+meditations, the fruit whereof, in a somewhat indirect and roundabout
+way, may make smooth and safe the path that is traversed by your fairy
+feet. In the expressive language of the poet, Be happy; tend thy
+flowers; be tended by my blessing."
+
+"I know about your lonely vigils, Bob; they are spent on cigars, and
+making up jokes to use next morning. But you are not as bad as usual
+to-day. Do you know, I like you better when you are comparatively
+serious."
+
+"Then let me be ever thus, my Queen! It is the solemnizing influence of
+being so much with you. If you keep it up for another week, you'll have
+to send me off to New York to get secularized. I say, Clarice, how long
+do you mean to go on in this way? It's all very nice for me, but how
+about Hartman? _He's_ not frivolous; he takes Life in awful earnest.
+What do you propose to do with him after you've got him--I should say,
+after the fatal dart has transfixed his manly form, and he falls pierced
+and bleeding at your feet?"
+
+"My dear child, let me tell you a pretty little tale. Once upon a time
+there was a friend of mine, who thought a good deal of me, and of whom I
+thought more than he knew, poor man--enough to make you jealous,
+Bob."--Now who the devil was that, confound him? I never heard of him
+before. It must have been that winter she spent in Boston, just after
+she came out. That's over five years ago; he's probably dead or married
+before this. Well, get on with your pretty little tale: not that I see
+much prettiness about it.--"And when I would tease him to tell me some
+secret, he would answer, in his own well-chosen language. Some day you
+will know: you wait and see. By-by, baby!"--and away she dashed.
+
+My tongue went too fast last night. Her heart _is_ waking; her wings are
+sprouting. She must be getting interested in Jim. The hour is at hand,
+and the man: the horn at the castle-gate will soon be sounded, and
+presto! the transformation scene. That will be a spectacle for gods and
+men, now; but no tickets will be sold at the doors--admittance only by
+private card, and that to a very select few. I don't want any change in
+you, Princess; but I suppose the angels would like to see the depths in
+you that you haven't sounded, the fairer and wider chambers of your soul
+opened to the light. God grant that light may need no darkness to come
+before it, no storm-tossed, doubtful daybreak. If the change is for
+your happiness, no matter about us. You are moving toward a land where I
+cannot follow you; a land of mystery and wonder and awakening, of new
+beauties and glories and perils, and possibilities unknown and
+infinite--a journey wherein you can have no guide but your own pure
+instincts, no adviser but your own untried heart. God be with you, for
+Jane and Mabel can do no more than I. We shall hear no word from you
+till all be over, and then the Clarice of old will return to us no more.
+Transfigured she may be and beatified, but not the one we knew and loved
+so long. Little sister, all these years I have been at your side or
+ready at your call, and now you will not call and I cannot come to help
+you; for in these matters the heart knoweth its own bitterness, and a
+stranger doth not intermeddle with its joy. May it be joy and not the
+other! God be with them both, for it is a dangerous country where they
+are going; a region of mists and pitfalls and morasses, where closest
+friends may be rudely severed, and those whom Heaven hath joined be put
+asunder by their own most innocent errors--and the finest spirits run
+the heaviest risk. Ah well, if I were the Grand Duke of Gerolstein,
+maybe things would be better managed in my dominions.
+
+
+
+
+XIII.
+
+DOMESTIC CRITICISMS.
+
+
+Hartman has made a first-rate impression here. It would please you to
+see this stern ascetic, this despiser of Life and Humanity, with two
+toddlers on his lap, and Herbert at his knee, all listening open-mouthed
+to tales of the animal and vegetable kingdoms. The boy thinks that one
+who lives in the woods must be a great hunter, and clamors for bears and
+wildcats: Jane, in her usual unfeeling way, insists that I put him up to
+this. But though I am a family man--and you could not easily find one
+more exemplary--I do not propose to drag the nursery into the cold glare
+of public comment, or favor you with a chapter on the Management of
+Children.
+
+I would like to know why it is that women are so ready to take up with
+any chance stranger who comes along, when they cannot see the true
+greatness of their own nearest and dearest. Mabel pronounces Hartman a
+perfect gentleman and a safe companion for me; as if it were I, not he,
+that needed looking after. Jane seems to regard him as the rock which
+withstands the tempest, the oak round which the vine may safely cling,
+and that sort of thing. He is a good-looking fellow yet, and he has a
+stalwart kind of bearing, adapted to deceive persons who do not know him
+as well as I do. They would almost side with him against Clarice--but
+not quite: in their hearts, they think her perfect.
+
+One evening we were all together in the parlor. The Princess had gone
+somewhere with one of her numerous adorers, whom she had failed to bluff
+off as she generally does: the young man was going to cast himself into
+the sea, I believe, and I told her she had better let him and be done
+with it, but she said he had a widowed mother and several sisters, and
+ought to live long enough to leave them comfortably provided for; so I
+let her go. I was trying to direct the conversation into improving
+channels, but the frivolous female mind is too much for me.
+
+"Mr. Hartman," Jane began, "we rely on you to exercise a good influence
+upon Robert. He is so light-minded, and so deceitful."
+
+"Yes," Mabel added; "no one can restrain him but Clarice, and she
+cannot spend her whole time upon him, she has so much else to do."
+
+"See here," said I; "this is a put-up job: I will have you all indicted
+for conspiracy. Have you no proper respect for the head of the house?"
+
+"We would like to," my spouse replied: "we make every effort: but it is
+so difficult! Mr. Hartman, he wants to manage every little matter,
+particularly those which pertain exclusively to women, and which he
+cannot understand at all."
+
+"Yes," said Jane; "would you believe it, Mr. Hartman, he attempted to
+instruct us as to the proper manner of receiving you! But that is not
+the worst of it. He is utterly unable to keep a secret--not that any one
+would entrust him with secrets of the least importance, of course. And
+when he thinks he knows something that we do not know, he goes about
+looking so solemn that even Herbert can detect him at once. And in such
+cases he actually comes to us, and questions us about the matter, with a
+view to throwing us off the scent, and keeping dark, as he calls it. Did
+you ever hear of such absurdity?"
+
+"Ladies and gentleman," I said with dignity, "would you mind excusing me
+for a few moments? I would like to retire to the rocks outside, and
+swear a bit."
+
+"Robert!" my wife cried, "I am ashamed of you. What will Mr. Hartman
+think of your morals?" You see, they think Jim is a very correct young
+man.
+
+"O, I know him of old," he said. "Never mind, Bob, I will stand by you.
+Really, you are a little hard on him. He has improved; I assure you he
+has. Why, he was quite a cub at college. Your softening influences have
+done a great deal for him; everything, in fact."
+
+"It is very nice in you to say so, Mr. Hartman, and very polite, and
+very loyal; but I know Robert. Clarice does him a little good: she would
+do very much more, if he were not so stiff-necked. He thinks he is a
+man, and we are only women."
+
+"Well," I asked, "are you going to dispute that proposition? If so, I
+will leave Hartman to argue it out with you."
+
+"Mr. Hartman," said Jane, "he thinks he knows everything, and women are
+inferior creatures. O, such a superior being as he is!"
+
+"This is getting monotonous," I remarked. "Suppose, for a change, we
+abuse Clarice, as she is not here; that will be pleasanter all round,
+and less unconventional. Now that girl does a great deal of harm,
+turning the heads of so many foolish young men. She spends more on her
+dress than you and I do together, Hartman. What an aim in life for a
+rational being! Simply to look pretty, and produce an occasional piece
+of perfectly idle and useless embroidery: tidies even, now and
+then--just think of it! Of all the--"
+
+My wife stopped me here, and I was glad of it, for I really did not know
+what to say next.
+
+"You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Robert. To speak in that way of my
+cousin, and your own adopted sister! Don't believe a word of it, Mr.
+Hartman. She is sweet girl, though reserved with strangers: I am sorry
+you have seen so little of her. A high-minded, pure-hearted, dear,
+sweet, lovely girl; she is, and you know it, Robert." Well, perhaps I
+do; but there is no need of my saying so just now. Jane has to put in
+her oar again, of course.
+
+"Yes, Mr. Hartman, and that is a sample of his hypocrisy. He thinks as
+highly of Clarice as we do, and is almost as fond of her; and yet he
+pretends to criticize her, just to draw away attention from his own
+shortcomings."
+
+"Well, let's drop Clarice then, and go on discussing the present
+company, if you insist. We'll take them up one by one: I've had my
+turn, and my native modesty shrinks from further praise. You see Mrs.
+T., Hartman? She sits there looking so calm and placid, like a mother in
+Israel; you would think her a model spouse. Yet no one knows what I
+suffer. Mabel, I had not been with him ten minutes last May when he
+noticed my premature baldness, and general fagged-out and jaded look;
+and to hide the secrets of my prison-house, I had to pretend that I had
+been working too hard in Water Street. You all know how painful
+deception is to my candid nature; but I did it for your sake, Mabel.
+When did I ever return aught but good for evil? Yet O, the curtain
+lectures, the manifold ways in which the iron has entered into my soul!
+But we brought Hartman here to reconcile him to civilized and domestic
+life, and I will say no more. Now there is Jane. She naturally puts her
+best foot foremost in company; you think she is all she seems: but I
+could a tale unfold. Now mark my magnanimity: I won't do it. She is my
+sister, and with all her faults I love her still. Well, if you are tired
+you'd better go to bed: Hartman wants to smoke."
+
+
+
+
+XIV.
+
+OVER TWO CIGARS.
+
+
+When we got out under the pure breezes of heaven, Hartman turned to me
+and said, "So you call this reconciling me to domestic life, do you?"
+
+"Well, I want you to see things as they are. They are not as bad as your
+fancy used to paint them, or as a duller man might suppose from recent
+appearances. Women haven't our sense of humor, Jim: their humble
+efforts at jocosity are apt to be exaggerated, or flat--generally both;
+but they mean no harm."
+
+"Well, Bob, your preparations to instruct my ignorance are highly
+successful. All this is as good as a play. You see you are found out,
+old humbug; everybody sees through you. You can't delude any of us any
+more."
+
+"I don't quite see what you're driving at, my christian friend; but I'm
+glad you like us, and I hope you'll like us better before you are done
+with us." When he talks like this, I am content to see the hand of Fate
+snatch at his scalp, as it will before long. Gibe on, ungrateful mocker:
+retribution will soon overtake you in your mad career. Where then will
+be your gibes, your quips, your quiddities? You'll want my sympathy by
+and by, and I'll see about giving it.
+
+"You needn't be so much cast down, Bob. Perhaps you are building me up
+better than you know. Your struggles with your womankind give a flavor
+to what I used to suppose must be insipid. You are pretty well satisfied
+with each other, or you wouldn't pretend to quarrel so. What I saw of
+you before did something toward reconciling me to human nature at large,
+and your quaint efforts at shrewdness and finesse set off your real
+character. You might take in outsiders, but not me."
+
+"This is too much, my friend--a blanked sight too much. Crushed to earth
+by such unmerited compliments, I can only repeat my gratification that
+we meet with your approval. You settle down, and you'll see how insipid
+it is: then you'll be making some quaint efforts at shrewdness and
+finesse yourself. Invite me then, and I'll get even with you, old man.
+But I say, what did you mean about my being a cub at college?"
+
+"Well, you were, you know. Barmaids and ballet-dancers, and that sort of
+thing."
+
+"Confound you, Hartman, what do you go bringing them up for? There was
+only one of each, or thereabouts, and they were generally old enough to
+be my mothers. I was but a child, Jim--a guileless, merry, high-hearted
+boy, and innocent as the lamb unshorn."
+
+"You were that, and the shearing did you a lot of good. O, you can be
+easy; I'll not bring up the sins of your youth."
+
+"They were no sins, only follies. I had my early Pendennis stage, of
+course, and invested every woman I met with the hues of imagination. But
+Mabel and the girls might not understand that."
+
+"I don't think they would. Happily, it is not necessary they should try
+to, since you have returned to the path of rectitude. Do you think you
+belonged to Our Society in those days, Bob?"
+
+"Yes, sir: I did, in embryo. I had it in me to develop into the ornament
+of our species you behold at present. That's all a boy is good for,
+anyway. He thinks he's somebody, but he isn't. He doesn't amount to
+anything, except in the fond hopes of his anxious parents. He knows
+nothing, and he can do nothing, except learn by his blunders; and some
+of 'em can't do that. But if he has any stuff in him, he grows and
+ripens with time, as you and I did. What bosh, to put the prime of life
+at twenty-five. They ought to move it on a bit; about our age, now, a
+man ought to be at his best."
+
+"I don't know, Bob. I was an egregious ass at twenty-five, and I'm not
+sure I'm any better now."
+
+"Then there's hope of you, my boy. But one must go on getting
+experience. You shut the door too soon and too tight, Jim."
+
+"When I had it open, such an infernal stench and dust came in, that it
+seemed best to close it. But it's open again now, partly, and this seems
+a healthier and cleaner atmosphere."
+
+"You'll come out all right, Jim; and when you do, you won't seem to have
+been altogether wrong all these years. You've kept yourself unspotted
+from the world, more than most of us; and when you come to know a girl
+like Clarice, you'll want the most and best of you, to be fit for her
+society. If only one could get the general ripening without some of the
+dashed details of the process! She makes you wish you could have been
+brought up in a bandbox, if only you could have come out of it a man and
+not a mollycoddle."
+
+"Only 'men-maidens in their purity' are worthy to approach her, no
+doubt. Apparently I am not. I'll have to be content with your account of
+Miss Elliston's perfections, Robert. She seems to have no more use for
+me than the Texans for the Sheriff. But I am doing very nicely, thanks
+to your sister. I doubt if you appreciate Miss Jane, Bob. She sees
+further into things than you do. She impresses me as a sound-hearted
+woman, wise, kind, and gracious."
+
+"Yes, and so sisterly and appreciative. O yes, such a superior person as
+she is! But see here, Jim; that's not what you're here for. Jane is all
+very well in her way, but----"
+
+He turned on me suddenly. "What the deuce do you mean now?"
+
+By Jove, now I've done it: he's got me in a corner.--You just wait and
+see me get out of it. "O well, Jim, I speak only by general analogy, of
+course. I am not in the Princess's confidence, as I told you. I might be
+if any one were, but nobody can see into her mind further than she
+chooses to let them, and that is but a very little way. It would be a
+fine sight, no doubt; but she has the reticence of a--well, of an angel
+probably; exceptionally delicate and sensitive nature, and all that, you
+know. It's not her way to let a good thing go by unnoticed, and she is
+quite able to appreciate you. Your time is not up yet: you're likely to
+see more of her before you go--at least, I should suppose so."
+
+"Well, I am here to see things, as you say, and I may as well see
+whatever is to be shown me. I am in your hands, old man; make as good a
+job of it as you can before you send me back to the woods."
+
+It is all very well for him to talk lightly on solemn subjects; he'll
+change his tone by and by. I have prepared his mind now, as I prepared
+the others before he came. Perhaps I ought to have done it sooner;
+perhaps the Princess has been waiting for that. She'll know, without my
+telling her; she'll see it in his eye.--Nonsense, Robert T.; your zeal
+outruns your discretion. What does she want of your help in a thing like
+this? Anyway, he's ready to be operated on, and it seems about time she
+began to put in her work.
+
+
+
+
+XV.
+
+THE CATASTROPHE.
+
+
+This miscellaneous entertainment, as I have remarked, lasted for about a
+week: then suddenly the situation changed. I can't tell you how it was
+done, though I was looking on all the time; but one evening I found
+myself with Jane, and Hartman had gone off with the Princess. We were
+all ready to play to her lead, no doubt; but it would have made no
+difference if it had been otherwise: when she ordains a thing, that
+thing is done, and without her taking any pains about it either, so far
+as you can see. I think the predestined victim was pleased and flattered
+to have the sacrificial chapter placed upon his head, so to speak; he
+ought to have been, at any rate.
+
+"Jane," I said, "what do you suppose Clarice is up to now?"
+
+"Robert," said she, "I thought I had given you a lesson about practising
+your absurd hypocrisies on me. Who should know what her plans are, if
+not you? If you really are not in her confidence--and it would not be
+far, certainly--surely you know Clarice well enough not to interfere.
+Let them alone, and keep quiet." That is the way they always talk to me:
+I wish they would find something new to say.
+
+Things went on in this fashion for another week or more. It was all very
+quiet: there was really nothing to see. What they talked about I don't
+know; when the rest of us were by, their conversation was not notable. I
+can make more original and forcible remarks myself; in fact, I do, every
+day. But I have no doubt she catechized and cross-examined him in
+private. It is not Hartman's way to air his theories before ladies, or
+to obtrude himself as a topic of discussion; but the Princess, when she
+condescends to notice a man at all, likes to see a good deal further
+into his soul than he ever gets to see into hers. That is all right in
+this case; the doctor has to be acquainted with the symptoms before he
+can cure the patient. When Hartman and I were together at the end of the
+evenings and at odd hours, he had very little to say: he seemed rather
+preöccupied and introspective. He is another of your plaguedly reserved
+people, who when they have anything on hand wrap it up in Egyptian
+darkness and Cimmerian gloom. That is the correct thing in a woman--in
+Clarice at least: in a man I don't like it. My soul, now, is as open as
+the day, and when I have struck any new ideas or discoveries, I would
+willingly stand on a house-top--if it were flat--and proclaim them for
+the benefit of the world. Even my uncompleted processes of thought are
+at the service of any one who can appreciate them; but you can't expect
+everybody to be like me. Most men are selfish, narrowly engrossed in
+their small private concerns--no generous public spirit about them. But
+then Hartman is not used to this kind of thing, and I suppose it knocks
+the wind out of him.
+
+One evening I was by myself in the shrubbery; it was just dark, but
+there was a tidy young moon. I wanted to smoke a pipe for a change, and
+so had gone to the most secluded place I could find, for if Mabel were
+to hear of this, Hartman might not get reconciled to domestic life. I
+sat there, meditating on the uncertainty of human affairs: it would do
+you more good than a little to know what thoughts passed through my
+mind, but there is no time to go into that. Suddenly two forms came in
+sight. One was of manly dignity, the other of willowy grace. His frame
+towered like the noble oak on the hilltop, while hers--but we have had
+the oak and the vine before, and worked them for all they are worth.
+Perhaps I ought to have given you a more particular account of the
+appearance of these two young persons: but you don't care to know their
+exact height and fighting weight, the color of their hair and eyes, and
+so forth; what you want is the stature and complexion of their souls.
+They were a handsome pair, and whene'er they took their walks and drives
+abroad like Dr. Watts, they attracted much attention. Just now there was
+nobody but myself to admire them, and I was in ambush. They strolled
+about in what there was of the moonlight, seeming much absorbed, and I
+sat still in the shade, and put down my pipe: I couldn't hear their
+talk, and didn't want to disturb them. Suddenly he raised his voice:
+matters between them must have come to an interesting stage. "But,
+Clarice, if you care for me--"
+
+He was too quick. The madness which urged him on can easily be
+understood and--except by the one concerned--pardoned; but what devil
+possessed her, who shall say? She drew herself up with superb scorn.
+"You are beginning at the wrong end, Sir. 'If I care for you!' Why
+should I?"
+
+"Very good," he said at once. "I was mistaken. I beg your pardon most
+humbly."
+
+There was as little humility as possible in his look and tone. He stood
+like a gladiator--and not a wounded one either--with his head thrown
+back and his chest out. I could fancy, rather than see, the flashing of
+his eyes.
+
+The flashes were all on his side now; Clarice's brief exhibition of
+fireworks seemed to be over, and she was drooping. "Mr. Hartman," she
+began, and could get no further.
+
+In the act to go, he turned and faced her again.
+
+"Miss Elliston, my presumption was doubtless unpardonable; I shall not
+know how to forgive myself. Do me the undeserved honor, if you can, to
+forget it--and me. I can only renew my apologies, and relieve you of my
+presence."
+
+He bowed, and was gone. The proper thing for Clarice to do next was to
+swoon or shriek; but I knew her too well to expect anything of that
+sort. Nor did she tear her hair, or beat her breast, or offer to the
+solitary spectator any performance worth noting. I thought it best to
+keep remarkably quiet in my corner till she too had gone. In fact, I
+staid there for an hour or two after, though I did not enjoy that pipe
+at all; the tobacco was not right, or something. You see, after all the
+lectures I had had, I did not want to spoil things by mixing myself up
+with them; the situation looked picturesque enough without me in it.
+
+When I went back to the house I found that Jim had caught the boat and
+gone. "He came to me," said Mabel, "and told me that he had overstaid
+his time and found it best to go to-night. He was very friendly, but his
+tone did not encourage questioning or remonstrance. His parting with
+Jane was almost affectionate, and he left kind regards for you. But not
+a word for Clarice."
+
+"Great Jackson! what is the matter with them?" I often use what my wife
+considers profane language when I have something to hide.
+
+It had its effect this time. "Robert, be quiet. It is all right. When
+there is anything for you to know, you shall know it."
+
+She sometimes appears to mistake me for our eldest boy. But I was glad
+to get off with the secret. Yes, there is something to know, my lady,
+and I know it, though you don't. But I fear it is a long way from all
+right.
+
+
+
+
+XVI.
+
+FEMININE COUNSELS.
+
+
+After this there was general gloom about the place, and I preferred to
+spend much of the time in New York. But whenever I got there, this
+confounded business would drive me back: Clarice might want me. Nobody
+dared question her, till one day at lunch Herbert spoke up. "Mamma, why
+doesn't Mr. Hartman come back? Cousin Clarice, what have you done to
+him?" He was promptly suppressed, and the Princess froze his infant
+veins with a stony stare, while Jane and I looked hard at our plates.
+But later that day I came upon Clarice and the child together: he was
+locked in her arms, and begging her not to cry. They did not see me, and
+I retired in good order.
+
+Within a week came a short note from Jim: apologies for leaving without
+saying good-bye to me, appreciation of our kindness, regards to my wife
+and sister--and not a word of Clarice. I took it to Mabel, of course.
+
+"Be very careful how you answer this now, Robert."
+
+"How will this do? 'Dear Jim, sorry you went off in such a hurry; but
+after my performance in May I have no right to find fault. We all miss
+you, I think: the house has grown dull. Herbert continues to fall over
+the banisters, and at intervals over the rocks: at all hours, but
+especially when laid up for repairs, he howls for you and bear-stories.
+Our kindest regards. Keep us posted.' That's about it, eh?"
+
+"Ye-es: you can't ask him to come back, and you can't mention Clarice;
+so you can say no more, and I don't like you to say any less. That is
+very well--for you, Robert; though you need not be so unfeeling about
+your own son."
+
+It is well occasionally to consult your womankind in such cases,
+because, though they may not know as much of the facts as you do, still
+they can sometimes give you an inner light on points you would not have
+thought of. Besides, it compliments and encourages them; whereas, if you
+appeared to pay no regard to their opinions, they would naturally feel
+neglected. A little judicious indirect flattery is of great use in
+managing one's household. So I put on my best air of injured innocence.
+
+"Mabel, I wish you could tell me what is the matter. Here my guest
+leaves my house suddenly, without a word of explanation. Herbert must be
+right: what has Clarice done to him?"
+
+"Robert, I told you that all was well; at least I trust it will be,
+though it may not seem so now. The leaven is working; leave it to Time.
+Above all, don't meddle; ask no questions; leave the matter to those who
+understand it."
+
+Now does she mean herself and Jane by that, or only Clarice and Hartman?
+I wonder if she thinks that I think that she knows anything about it.
+If she did, I should catch some sign of it. I tried my sister.
+
+"Jane, don't fly at me now, please. I am in trouble."
+
+"So are we all, brother. Trouble not of our own making--most of us."
+
+"Well then, what does all this secrecy mean? Has Clarice spoken to you?
+What does Mabel know?"
+
+"She knows no more than you and I, brother. Something has happened: any
+one may suspect what it is, but Clarice will not tell. I love and
+respect her too much to ask: so does Mabel; and so, I hope, do you."
+
+"Well, it's confounded hard lines, Jane, to have these things happening
+in your own house, and such a mystery made of it." I had to grumble to
+somebody, you see, if only to keep up appearances and help hide my
+guilty secret; and then I _was_ bored, and worse, with the way things
+had gone.
+
+"You took that risk, Robert, when you brought them together here. Did
+you expect that two such persons as they would agree easily and at once?
+I think they love each other, or were in a way to it when this occurred,
+whatever it was."
+
+"Well, I am awfully sorry. Clarice can take care of herself, I suppose;
+but as for Hartman, he had load enough to carry before. I love that man,
+Jane."
+
+"So do I, Robert."
+
+"Eh? O, the devil you do!" This came out before I could stop it. It did
+not please her.
+
+"Brother, you are simply scandalous. Will you never learn a decent
+respect for women--you with a wife of your own, and boys growing up?
+Where have you been to acquire such ideas and such manners? You might
+have lived in the woods instead of Mr. Hartman, and he might have been
+bred in courts, compared with you.--I mean, of course, that I am
+interested in him, and sorry for him, as we all are. He is your friend,
+and he has excellent qualities."
+
+I was somewhat cast down by all this browbeating. Where shall a man go
+for gentle sympathy and that sort of thing, if not to his own sister? I
+suppose she thought of this, for she went on more kindly. "I would say
+nothing to Clarice if I were you. When she is ready, she will speak--to
+you."
+
+"To me, eh? What would she do that for?" I put this in as part of the
+narrative, but I am not proud of it. I had not quite recovered yet from
+the effect of Jane's previous violence; and then my intellect is not
+equal to all these feminine convolutions.
+
+"Brother, your head is not as good as your heart. Don't you understand
+that in some cases a woman goes to a man, if there is one of the right
+kind at hand, much as a man goes to a woman? You are a man, and Mr.
+Hartman's nearest friend. After all her recent confidences with you, or
+intimacy at any rate--of course I don't know what she talked with you
+about, so many hours--is it surprising that Clarice should turn to you
+in her trouble, when she can bring herself to break silence at all? When
+she is ready, she will speak to you, and to no one else. Till she is
+ready, not all of us together, nor all the world, could draw a word from
+her. Must I explain all this to you, as if you were Herbert? And when
+she does speak, brother, I do hope that you will listen with due respect
+and sympathy, and not disgust and repel her by any more coarse ideas and
+base interpretations."
+
+I paid no attention to these last remarks, which seemed to me wholly
+unworthy of Jane. Strange, that one who at times displays so much
+intelligence and even, as Hartman calls it, discernment, can in other
+things be so unappreciative and almost low-minded. Coarse ideas,
+indeed! Well, never mind that now: let me meditate on this prospect
+which she has opened to my view. So Clarice is coming to me: she knows I
+am her best friend after all. Little Clarice, how often have I dandled
+her on my knee in the years that have gone by! Dear little
+Clarice----BOSH! What an infernal fool a man can make of himself over a
+pretty woman in trouble! I am sometimes almost tempted to think that, as
+she delicately hinted, there must be an uncommon soft spot in my upper
+story. It is bad enough to show it when the girl is by; let me preserve
+my balance till then. When she wants to talk to me, I will hear what she
+has to say.
+
+
+
+
+XVII.
+
+CONSOLATION.
+
+
+Sure enough about a week after this Clarice came to me as I was smoking
+a surreptitious cigar on the rocks, away from the house, after sundown.
+She came and sat down close by me, but I pretended not to notice.
+"Robert," said she. "Well," said I. There is no use in meeting them half
+way when they are willing to come the whole distance: mostly you have to
+do it all yourself, and turn about is fair play.
+
+"Robert, are you angry with me?"
+
+I couldn't help looking at her now, and she shot one of her great
+glances into my face. I melted right down, and so would you have done.
+"Clarice, you know I never could be angry with you five minutes
+together--nor five seconds, if you chose to stop it. What have I got to
+be angry about now?"
+
+"Well, Bob, it wasn't your fault this time."
+
+"No, I trust not. Whose fault was it?"
+
+"Mine, mine. Bob, will you be my friend?" And she put her hand in mine.
+
+"What have I ever been but your friend? Don't you do as you like with
+me--and with all of us? Clarice, you know it hurts me to see you like
+this. And there's poor Hartman."
+
+She pulled away from me. "What has Mr. Hartman to do with it? Who was
+talking of him?"
+
+"Miss Elliston," I said with dignity, "the First of April is past some
+time ago. What do you want to be playing these games on me for?"
+
+"O, don't 'Miss Elliston' me, Bob. Don't you understand women yet?"
+
+"No, I'll be shot if I do; and I never expect to. That will do for young
+beginners, who think they know everything. I've seen too much of you to
+pretend to understand you. Why don't you speak out and come straight to
+the point?"
+
+"Why, you goose, that's not our nature. Speaking out and going straight
+to the point will do for great clumsy things like you and Mr. Hartman."
+
+"Well, I am a great clumsy thing, as you justly observe. It's very
+pleasant to have you come to me like this, Princess, and I wish you
+would do it oftener; it's mighty little I've seen of you of late. But
+though it would meet my views to prolong this session indefinitely, I
+suppose you want something of me, or you wouldn't be so sweet. It may
+seem an improbable statement, but I would rather help you out of this
+scrape than enjoy your society even--that's saying a good deal, but it's
+true. Yes, I'm fool enough for that."
+
+"I know you are, dear," she said, very low and sweetly. Now what was it
+she knew? You can take that two ways. All the compliments I get are so
+ambiguous. But this did not occur to me till afterwards. So I went on
+with my usual manly simplicity.
+
+"Then you know there's no need of circumlocution and feminine wiles when
+you want anything of me, Princess. You have but to speak, and, as the
+Frenchman said, 'If it is possible, it shall be done: if it is
+impossible, I can only regret that I can't do it.' What do you want me
+to do now?"
+
+"Nothing, Bob; nothing but to listen to me and be good."
+
+"I am listening, Clarice: I've been listening all this time." This was
+not quite true, for I had done most of the talking; but then what I said
+was not of much account. When I am with her I often talk just to fill
+the gaps.
+
+"You can listen when I am ready to talk, and keep quiet till then. I
+only want your sympathy."
+
+"You have it, Clarice; you have it most fully. Come rest on this bosom,
+my own stricken dear--"
+
+"I don't want to rest on your bosom, Bob; your shoulder is big enough.
+Have you got your best coat on?"
+
+"Well, no; this is not the one I wore at dinner. But I will go to the
+house and get my clawhammer if you wish."
+
+"No, no. I only want to cry a little."
+
+"You would be perfectly welcome to cry on my best coat every day of the
+week, Princess, and I would get a new one as often as it might be
+needed. I don't wish to make capital out of your grief, my dear; I would
+rather never get a kind word from you than have you suffer. But often it
+seems as if you didn't care for anybody, you are so high and mighty and
+offish; and O doth not an hour like this make amends--"
+
+"Drop that, Bob. Don't try to be sentimental: you always get the lines
+wrong. I've not been here an hour. O, were you joking? You are no more
+in the humor for jokes than I am, and you know it. Do keep quiet."
+
+I did: I 'dropped it.' Clarice will use slang at times, it is one of
+her few faults. Where she learns it, I cannot conceive. It is
+unfeminine, and out of keeping with her whole character; in any one else
+I should call it vulgar. But I saw she did not wish to be disturbed just
+then, so I said no more. Instead, I thought of my guilty secret--her
+secret. It weighs on me heavily; but I can't tell her what I saw and
+heard. I don't know how she would take it; and I don't care to be
+exploding any dynamite bombs about my own premises. The situation is bad
+enough as it is; I'll not make it worse. Poor Clarice! poor Hartman! And
+yet you can't meddle with such high-strung folks. By and by she spoke.
+
+"Bob, do you know why I come to you, instead of to Jane or Mabel?"
+
+I was on the point of quoting Jane's valuable idea about my being a man,
+but refrained.
+
+"I could not ask any woman for what you give me. And you are half a
+woman, Bob; you are so patient and loyal. Nobody else would be that."
+
+"But Mabel and Jane love you too, dear. They would do anything for you."
+
+"Yes, but that is more on equal terms. I am so exacting; I want so much,
+and give so little. I suppose I was born so; and you have spoiled
+me--all of you. O, I know I have treated you badly, Robert, often;
+generally, in fact. I am proud and hateful, and you never resent it.
+Only a man can be like that--to a woman: and very few men would be so.
+You are not like other men, Bob: there is nobody like you. You are such
+a useful domestic animal."
+
+Perhaps I was getting unduly exalted when she let me down thus. I wish
+Clarice at least would be less mixed--more continuous and consistent, so
+to speak--when she sets forth my virtues. But one must take the Princess
+as he finds her, and be content with any crumbs of approval she may
+drop. Sometimes I think I am a fool about her; but when she talks as
+she does to-night, I know I am not. There may be more amiable women, and
+plenty more even-tempered; but there is only one Clarice. I may have
+made that remark before, but it will bear repeating. It is not of me she
+is thinking all this time: how should it be? O Hartman, Hartman, if you
+could know what I know, and see what is before you!
+
+Presently she spoke again. "Robert, why don't you ask me what I have
+done? I know you are dying of curiosity."
+
+"I can restrain my curiosity, rather than pry into your affairs, dear.
+When you see fit, you will tell me. But if you wish it, I will ask you."
+
+"No, it would be of no use. I can't tell you now; perhaps never. Robert,
+where did you learn to respect a woman so?"
+
+"Jane says I will never learn it. But I do respect you, Princess."
+
+"That must have been when you had vexed her with some of your blunders:
+you do make blunders, you know? But, Bob, do you know why I love you?"
+
+This moved me so that I had to put myself on guard. She never said so
+much as that before: it is not her way to talk about feelings or profess
+much affection for anybody.
+
+"I suppose because we were brought up together, and you are used to me.
+And, as you say, I am a useful domestic animal. If I can be useful to
+you, I am proud and thankful. I think more of you than I could easily
+say: it is very good of you to give me some small return."
+
+"It is because you have a heart, Robert. They may say what they please
+of your head, but you have a great big heart."
+
+Now was ever the superior male intellect thus disparaged? She must have
+got this notion from Jane; but I can't quarrel with her now.
+
+"Men are great clumsy things, as you said, dear: we have not your tact,
+nor your delicate roundabout methods. You are right, I do make blunders;
+I feel my deficiencies when I am with you. But if my head, such as it
+is, or my heart, or my hand, can ever serve you, they will be ready."
+
+"Suppose I were to leave you, and go out of your life?"
+
+"You could not go out of my life, though you might go far away. I should
+be sorry, but I have no right to hold you. But if you ever wanted me, I
+should always be here."
+
+"Suppose I did something wrong and foolish?"
+
+"I don't want to suppose that, but if I must--it would not be for me to
+judge you, as you told me once. You might do something that did not
+accurately represent your mind and character: since I know them, the
+action would be merely a mistake, a transient incongruity. I don't
+change easily: I have known you from your cradle. And if it was ever
+possible for me to fail you, it is not possible after to-night."
+
+"You are very fond of Mr. Hartman, Robert. What if I quarreled with him?
+Would you take my part against him?"
+
+"I would take your part against the world, Clarice. But he is not of the
+world. A sad and lonely man, burdened with an inverted conscience and
+quixotic fancies that turn the waters into blood, who has come for once
+out of his hermitage to catch a glimpse of the light that never was on
+sea or land, and then to see it turn into darkness for him. I fear he is
+sadder and lonelier now than when I brought him from the woods: but I
+would stake my soul on his honor, as I would on yours. You cannot force
+me into such a dilemma."
+
+A heavenly glow was on her face now, as she looked long at the stars,
+and then at me. "Why are you eloquent only when you speak of him,
+brother?"
+
+"You say I have a heart, Clarice: it is eloquent when I think of you.
+Shall a stranger be more sacred to me than my sister?--and I don't mean
+Jane. You would be sacred to a better man than I, dear, if he knew you
+as I do: you may be so already, for what I can tell. He _could_ not mean
+to sin against you, Princess. If he seemed to fail in respect, or
+courtesy, or anything that was your due, forgive him, and don't banish
+him forever. I trusted that you would have enlightened and converted and
+consoled him: he is worth it."
+
+I longed to say more, but this was as far as I dared go. She sighed.
+
+"Perhaps I need to be converted and consoled myself. But that is
+ungrateful; with such a comforter at hand I ought not to be miserable.
+We never knew each other like this before, Robert. Why is it?"
+
+"I don't know, Clarice--or rather I do, of course. It takes the moon,
+and stars, and a common trouble, to bring people together, even when
+they see each other every day; and then concurring moods must help. One
+stands in awe of you, Princess; I always shall. You only tolerated me
+when you were happy: I was rough, and careless, and stupid, and made bad
+jokes in the wrong places. I will try to do better after this, so that
+you need not be repelled when you want me. Hartman, now, is of finer
+mould than I: if you would let him come back--"
+
+"No more of that now, dear. Let us go in. The moon is going down: it is
+getting cold and dark." So it was; and damp too--on my shoulder at
+least. "I am glad you had your old coat on," she said.
+
+Mabel was alone in the parlor. "Well," she began; then she saw our
+faces, and modified her tone. "The moonlight was very fine, I suppose?"
+
+"You know you never will go out in the evening," said Clarice. "It is
+later than I thought. Don't scold Robert; he has been a dear good boy."
+She kissed her, and went upstairs.
+
+"Mabel," said I, "Clarice is in trouble." I had to say something, and
+this was perfectly safe. You see, she had told me nothing, and so I
+could say if asked. But I wasn't.
+
+"I know that, of course, Robert: I have seen it all along. She is a dear
+girl, for all her flightiness. She will say nothing to me. I hope it
+will come right. If you can help or comfort her, I shall be glad." Then
+she too went to bed.
+
+It is unusual for Mabel to be surprised into such candor. I got a cigar,
+and went out on the porch to meditate. Jane thought that Clarice would
+tell me things. Yes, I have got a lot of information. Let me see, I am a
+useful domestic animal, and I have a big heart: that's about the size of
+it. At this rate, I can soon write a Cyclopædia. Well, cold facts are
+not all there is in life: there are some things the Cyclopædias fail to
+tell us about. I don't regard the last few hours as altogether wasted.
+
+After this the Princess and I did not talk much: there seemed to be no
+need of it. But she was a new and revised edition of the old Clarice,
+wonderfully sweet, and gracious, and equable; and her look when we met
+was like the benediction in answer to prayer, as Longfellow says. I went
+about with a solemn feeling, as if I had just joined the Church. What
+does a fellow want with slang, and pipes, and beer, and cheating other
+fellows on the street, when he has such entertainments at home? And yet
+it cuts me to the soul to look at her: I _must_ do something to bring
+them together. Pretty soon we went back to New York.
+
+
+
+
+XVIII.
+
+AGAINST EARNESTNESS.
+
+
+Jane, and even Mabel, have the idea that I am of light and shallow
+nature; and sometimes I think they are right. It must be so; for your
+profound and serious characters have a weakness for sorrow, and
+luxuriate in woe--whereas I object to trouble of any kind, and cannot
+get used to it. The house has been like a rural cemetery for near two
+months, and it simply bores me. Hartman now prefers to dwell among the
+tombs: he has lived these ten years in a graveyard, so to speak, under a
+canopy of funereal gloom, and he thrives on it. He and Clarice are the
+most superior persons I know; and they have gone and got themselves into
+a peck, or rather several bushels, of trouble, about nothing at all.
+They must like it, or why should they do it? I doubt if I can ever be
+educated up to that point. I have the rude and simple tastes of a child:
+sunshine seems to me better than shade (except during the heated term),
+and pleasure more desirable than pain. I like to be comfortable myself,
+and to have every one else so. Imagine Mabel getting miffed at me, or I
+at her, over some little two-penny affair of unadvised expressions! She
+often says unkind things to me: if I took an earnest view of life, and
+were full of deep thought and fine feeling, probably I should have to
+take her criticisms to heart, and go away in a hurry and never come
+back. I sometimes make blunders worse than that one of Hartman's, and no
+harm worth mentioning ever comes of them--though I do have to be careful
+with the Princess. No doubt I am frivolous and superficial; but people
+of my sort appear to get along more easily, and to make less trouble for
+themselves and others, than those whose standards are so much higher.
+If I had the managing of this business, I could set it right inside a
+week--or in two days, if Jim were not so far away. It is merely to say
+to him, "Your language was unparliamentary. It is not etiquette to
+assume that a lady cares for you when you have not asked her to. You
+have no right to resent her resenting such unconventional behavior. You
+owe her an apology: go and make it like a man, and withdraw the
+offensive epithet, term, phrase, clause, or sentence, which ever it
+might be." Then I would say to her, "He meant no harm. How do you expect
+a member from Wayback to be posted on all the usages of metropolitan
+society? You ought not to have come down on him so hard. Let the man say
+he is sorry, and forgive him. You were mainly to blame yourself; but
+seeing it is you, we'll pass that." Then I would stand over them like
+the heavy father in the plays, and say, "You love each other. Take her,
+Jim: take him, Clarice. Bless you, my children." That is the way it
+ought to be done, and that is the way I would fix it if it concerned
+common every-day people like myself, with no pretence to qualities
+higher than practicability and common sense--supposing such people could
+have got into such a mess, which I own is improbable. A method that
+would answer for them is not so easily applied to these superfine
+specimens, who have taken such pains to build themselves a private
+Purgatory, and keep it going on a limited supply of fuel. They might
+resent intrusion on their agreeable demesne, and put up a board with 'No
+Trespassing' on it; but then they ought to keep the place fenced in
+better: as it is, the smoke and heat spread too much. They might say,
+'If we enjoy our misery, what right have the rest of you to interfere?'
+Yes, but what right have they to rope in the rest of us, who are not so
+addicted to the luxury of grief, and make us miserable too? That's what
+it comes to. 'Each man's life is all men's lesson,' and each woman's
+too. Now if our high-toned friends had kept this particular part of
+their lives in manuscript, and not supplied us with copies, but reserved
+it for spelling out in secret at their own leisure, the case would be
+different. As it stands, this embroglio is a lesson which I have got by
+heart and am tired of: I would like to set it aside and turn to
+something more cheerful. Moreover, as the head of a family I have duties
+in the matter, for it affects us all. I don't mind so much about Jane:
+she thinks this is a XX. romance, which the parties chiefly concerned
+are conducting in the most approved manner; if she had one of her own, I
+suppose this would be her style--her idea of how the thing should be
+done.[1] It is not mine, however; far from it. Shall I sit passive, and
+see the clouds of care growing heavier about the wife of my bosom, and
+the furrows deepening in that once marble brow? She looks two years
+older than she did two months ago, and she owns it. I have three lovely
+children: how brief a space it is since they played in the abandonment
+of infant glee! And now their young existence, too, is darkened. Herbert
+no longer slides down the banisters, with his former recklessness, but
+sits and looks wistfully at Cousin Clarice. The change involves a saving
+in lint and arnica, but a loss of muscular development. You see, we are
+all of the sympathetic--which is the expensive--temperament: we have not
+sense enough to be content each with his or her own personal affairs,
+and let the others arrange their private funerals at their own charge.
+There is more truth than I thought in part of what I told Hartman, that
+night on the boat.
+
+This thing must stop. I will have to ask the Princess if she wants our
+humble abode to be a house of mourning much longer. We might accommodate
+her in that respect for another month or two, but not permanently.
+Lovers are so selfish: they don't care if they upset all your domestic
+arrangements, and spoil your harmonies with the discord of their sweet
+bells jangled. It ought not to be encouraged, nor yet allowed.
+
+[Footnote 1: I was wholly mistaken in this, as will appear by the next
+chapter. _R. T._]
+
+
+
+
+XIX.
+
+CONSPIRACY.
+
+
+The summer has not done for any of us what it ought; quite the reverse.
+Even I am not in my usual form, if Mabel and Jane are right. They had
+let me alone for some time: last night they attacked me together--a
+preconcerted movement, obviously.
+
+"Robert, you are pale, almost haggard. You need a change."
+
+"Why," said I, "I've just had a change--or rather several of them. We've
+been back only three weeks."
+
+"You need mountain air: the sea does not agree with you. And Newport is
+not what it used to be."
+
+"It's a good deal more so, if you mean that; but I don't know that its
+increased muchness has damaged my health to any great extent."
+
+"You prefer small, remote places, and their way of life; you know you
+do. They are more of a change from town. You bought the house at Newport
+for our sakes. I have often feared you were sacrificing yourself to
+us--with your usual disinterestedness, dear."
+
+"Well, my usual disinterestedness is ready to be worked again, to any
+reasonable extent, if you will say what you're after. But how can I
+leave the business now?"
+
+"O, the business!" (It was Jane this time.) "That is all very fine, when
+you don't want to leave town. But I notice that the business never
+interferes with any of your junketings. What are your clerks paid for?
+Can't they attend to the business?"
+
+"A fine idea you women have of business, and a fine success you'd make
+of it. Jane, suppose you take charge in Water Street while I am away."
+
+"I don't doubt I could do it quite as well as you, after a little
+practice. Why, brother, Mr. Pipeline understands it a great deal better
+than you do. Our father, in his later years, trusted him entirely."
+
+"Yes, Robert," said Mabel, "and how often you have assured me that Mr.
+Pipeline was absolutely competent and reliable. When we were married,
+and a hundred times since, you explained your carelessness and
+indifference about the business by saying that all was right while old
+Mr. Pipeline was there: he knew everything, and kept the whole force to
+their work. It was that, you said, which enabled you to be so much more
+about the house than most men could be, and so attentive and
+satisfactory as a husband and father."
+
+She had me there: who would expect a woman to remember things and bring
+them up in this way, so long after? So I tried to turn it off.
+
+"O, well, he hasn't gone to Canada yet: the books seem straight, and the
+returns are pretty fair. But it is well for the head of the firm to look
+in occasionally, all the same."
+
+"You do look in occasionally, Robert: no one can accuse you of
+neglecting that duty. Would I have married a man who neglected duty, and
+allowed his business to go to ruin, and his family to come to want? Your
+conscience may rest perfectly easy on that score, dear."
+
+"O, thank you: it does. I've not often allowed the state of the oil
+market to interfere with sleep or appetite, or with my appreciation of
+you and the children. Family duties first, my dear; what so sacred, so
+primary, as the ties of Home? But such virtue is not always duly prized
+there. I'm glad you do me justice."
+
+"I always have, Robert; always. Whatever Jane and others might say about
+your levity and your untimely jests and so forth, I have steadily
+maintained that you had a good heart."
+
+"There, Jane, do you hear that? Mabel knows, for she is in a position to
+know."
+
+"Of course, brother, we are all aware of that. If you had not that one
+redeeming trait, I should have left you long ago, even if I had had to
+get married. You admire Artemus Ward: he had a giant mind, you
+recollect, but not always about him. So with your good heart at times.
+But we are wandering from the point. Mabel, you were showing him how he
+could go away for a week or two without neglecting his important duties
+down town."
+
+"Why yes, Robert. You have been here three weeks now, and I am sure you
+have been at the store nearly every day. Indeed, when you were not at
+home, or at the club, or somewhere about town, I doubt not you might be
+found in Water Street a good part of the time."
+
+"Yes," I said with an air of virtuous complacency, "I believe you are
+right. I can't deny it, though it may help your side of the argument."
+
+"Well then, you can surely be spared during a brief absence. And when
+you return, you can continue to look in occasionally, as you say."
+
+"Perhaps I could, though it is not well to be too positive. Where do you
+think I ought to go?"
+
+"Well, you are fond of fishing and hunting. You might go up and spend a
+week with Mr. Hartman. You found good sport there, you said."
+
+"O yes, there are trout enough, and deer not far off, he told me. But I
+was there in May. And it is not very comfortable at Hodge's, if you
+remember."
+
+"But of course this time you would stay with Mr. Hartman. You refused
+his invitation before, and it was hardly civil to such an old friend."
+
+"He has a mere bachelor box, my dear, and I hardly like to thrust myself
+on him."
+
+"Why, Robert, I am surprised at you. After Mr. Hartman spent a fortnight
+with us at Newport--and when he has written you twice, urging you to
+come. Can't you see that the poor man is lonely, and really wants you?"
+
+"Mabel, it would be all very well if it were like last May--only he and
+I to be considered. But here is that blessed entanglement of his with
+Clarice--quarrel, or love-making nipped in the bud, or whatever it
+was--that complicates matters. After all the lectures I've had from you
+two, I don't want to complicate them any more, nor to meddle in her
+affairs, nor appear to. Suppose I go up there, and he wants news of her,
+and anything goes wrong, or it simply doesn't come right as you expect;
+I'd have your reproaches to bear ever after, and perhaps those of my own
+conscience. You're not sending me off simply for my health, or for a
+little fishing. If I go to Hartman, the sport will not be the main item
+on the programme; and that every one of us knows perfectly well. So I
+don't move till I see my way straight."
+
+Finding me thus unexpectedly firm, Jane looked at Mabel, and Mabel
+looked at Jane, and there was a pause. You see, in this last deliverance
+I had uttered my real mind--or part of it--and it naturally impressed
+them.
+
+My sister's share in the discussion had thus far been confined to the
+few efforts at sarcasm duly credited to her above--let no one say that I
+am unjust to Jane. She had been watching me pretty closely, but I hardly
+think she saw anything she was not meant to see. Now she came to the
+front, looking very serious--as we all did, in fact.
+
+"Well, brother, some things are better understood than spoken--from our
+point of view. But if you insist on having all in plain words, and
+playing, as you call it, with cards on the table--"
+
+"Just so," said I. "You use your feminine tools: I use mine, which are a
+man's. If I have to do this piece of work, it must be on my own
+conditions and after my own fashion, with the least risk of
+misunderstanding."
+
+"Robert, if this is affectation, you are a better actor than I thought.
+But if you really know no more than we do--"
+
+This was too much for Mabel. "Now, Jane, you go too far. Robert likes
+his little joke, but he knows when to be serious. Why do you suspect him
+so?"
+
+Jane went on. "Of course it is possible he may be no deeper in Clarice's
+confidence than we: she is very reticent. You mean, brother, that you
+will do nothing till she authorizes you?"
+
+"Well, as I said, this is her affair. For you, or me, or anybody else,
+to meddle in it without her direction, or permission--unless in case of
+obvious extremity--would seem, by all rules alike ethical and
+prudential, a delicate and doubtful proceeding, to say the least."
+
+"I suppose you are right there. Mabel, you may as well tell him. Robert,
+don't think, from all this preamble, that it is of more importance than
+it would otherwise seem. Perhaps we might as well have told you at once;
+but we are only women, you know. Now at last we are using your
+tools--the tools you always use with such manly consistency--candor and
+open speech. Tell him, Mabel."
+
+"Robert dear, Clarice told me to-day that you were looking badly; she
+thought you needed a change. 'Is he not going off for his fall fishing?'
+she said."
+
+"Is that all?"
+
+"It is a good deal for her," said Jane. "If you want more, ask her. Are
+you less concerned for her happiness than we are? Must we arrange all
+the preliminaries? Brother, if _I_ could do anything, no fear of
+consequences or reproaches should tie my hands: I would do what is
+right, and take the chances. If I stood where you do, I would have this
+matter settled, or know why it could not be. I would never sit idle, and
+see two such lives spoiled--and all our hearts broken. O, I know you
+love them both. But you are so cautious--unnecessarily and absurdly so
+at times, and wedded to useless diplomacy, when only the plain speech
+you talk about is needed. You stand in awe of Clarice too much: you may
+wait too long. Forgive me, Robert; but whatever she may say, you _must_
+see Mr. Hartman before winter."
+
+I could have embraced Jane, besides forgiving her slurs on me, which may
+contain an element of truth. There is more in her than I have supposed;
+and of course what she insists on is exactly what I have all along meant
+to do. But it did not come in handy to say so at this point. "I'll think
+it over. You two had better go to bed: I must go out and smoke."
+
+"Robert," said Mabel, "don't go out to-night. You can smoke in the
+dining-room."
+
+"No; I'll not take a base advantage of your present amiable mood. But I
+tell you what it is; if you want to get Hartman here in cold weather you
+must let us have a snuggery. He can't do without his tobacco."
+
+It was a fine night, and I wanted a walk as well as a smoke. I felt
+gratified, for this thing had gone just as I desired. I am not quite so
+impulsive as Jane, and I understand the difficulties as she does not;
+but my plan has merely waited for events to give it definite shape and
+make it feasible. Certainly I must see Hartman, and as he can't come
+here, I must go there. But I wanted the women to suggest my going; that
+divides the responsibility, and gives them a hand in the game. I would
+have had to propose it myself within a week or so, if they had not
+spoken. But the Princess knows what she is about, and what is fit and
+proper. It may seem strange that she should speak to Mabel instead of to
+me; but she will say what she has to say to me before I start. In fact,
+I'll not start till she does--how could I? It is her business I am going
+on, with just enough of my own to give it a color. I'll write to Jim at
+once, to ask when he wants me: the mails are slow up there, and it may
+be a week before his answer comes. That will give me time to get my
+instructions, and not be in any unseemly haste to seek them either. So
+far, so good; but there is more to be done, and delicate work too, such
+as will bear no scamping. It is the biggest contract you ever undertook,
+R. T., and you must make a neat job of it.
+
+
+
+
+XX.
+
+APOLOGY FOR LYING.
+
+
+If you do not understand my waiting for Mabel and the girls to prompt
+this move, and allowing them to urge it against my apparent reluctance,
+I ascribe this failure on your part to lack of experience, rather than
+to any deeper deficiency. Some men like to make a parade of
+independence, and to do--or pretend to do--everything of themselves,
+without consulting or considering their womankind. But such are not the
+sort I choose my friends from; for I have been accustomed to regard both
+brain and heart as desirable appurtenances to a man. There is little
+Bruteling, at the club, who would like to be considered a man of the
+world--but I can't waste space or time on him. And I have met family men
+even--but I don't meet them more than once if I can help it--who regard
+their wives and sisters as playthings, dolls, upper-class servants, not
+to be trusted, taken into their confidence, or treated with any real
+respect. Such heresies have no place under a Christian civilization,
+which has exalted Woman to her true rank as the equal and helpmeet of
+Man, the object of his tenderest affections and most loyal services. It
+is in his domestic life that one's true character is shown; and Home is
+not only the dearest place on earth to me and to every one whose head is
+level, but the stage on which his talents and qualities are best brought
+out.
+
+You think that I don't practice what I preach; that I introduce within
+those sacred precincts too much of play-acting and small diplomacy, as
+Jane says; that even at this moment my thoughts and intentions in a
+matter which concerns us all are imperfectly revealed to my nearest and
+dearest? Ah, that is owing to the difference between the sexes, and to
+the singular lines on which the Sex was constructed, mentally speaking.
+I don't wish to criticize the Architect's plans, but it seems to me I
+could suggest improvements which might have simplified relations, and
+avoided much embarrassment. The difficulty is that women, as a rule, can
+neither use nor appreciate Frankness. Just after I was married, I
+thought it was only the fair thing to tell Mabel about several girls I
+had been sweet on before I knew her. Would you believe it, she burst
+into tears, and upbraided me with my brutality; and she brings up that
+ill-advised disclosure against me to this day. I know several ladies who
+will not lie, under ordinary circumstances--not for the mere pleasure of
+it, at least; Clarice, for instance, and Jane, I believe; but not one
+who will tell the whole truth, or forgive you for telling it. Well,
+well, we have to take them as they are, and make the best of them: they
+have other redeeming traits, as Jane says of me. In heaven these
+inequalities will be done away, and one can afford to speak out--at
+least I hope so. But meantime you can see how these feminine
+peculiarities hamper a man, and check his natural candor, and impose on
+him a wholly new, or at least a hugely modified, ethical code. If I were
+to follow my original bent, which was uncommonly direct and guileless, I
+should be in hot water all the time. It is this struggle between nature
+and--well, I can hardly call it grace; let us say necessity, or
+environment--which is making me bald, and fat, and aging me so fast. You
+have seen, in the course of this narrative, what scrapes I have gotten
+into by speaking before I stopped to think, and blurting out the simple
+truth. I was once as honest as they are ever made--and for practical and
+domestic uses nearly an idiot. I have been obliged, actually forced, to
+deny myself the indulgence of a virtue, and diligently to cultivate the
+opposite vice. The preachers don't know everything: I could give them
+points. I don't say I have succeeded remarkably, and the exercise has
+been deeply painful to me; but it was absolutely essential, if I was to
+be fit for the family circle, and able to do or get any good in this
+imperfect world. There is no escape, unless you live in a hermitage like
+Hartman. You may have noticed that my loved ones sometimes appear to
+treat me with less than absolute respect and confidence: it is the
+result of this life-conflict, which has left me with a character mixed,
+and in one respect wrecked. But they would think much worse of me than
+they do if I told them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the
+truth, on all occasions. Thus I might--and then again I might not--go to
+our poor Princess, and say, "Clarice, Mabel and Jane think I ought to
+see Hartman. I think so too, and they report you as concurring in the
+verdict. This is delicately put under cover of my health and the fall
+fishing; but we all know that you and Jim want looking after more than I
+do, and that bigger game than trout is to be caught. Tell me what you
+want me to say to him and do with him, and I will start at once." Some
+women might stand that, possibly, but not the ones I am used to: such
+would be eminently the way not to attain my benevolent end. No, no; you
+can do nothing in such cases without finesse, as Jim calls it, and
+strategy, and tact, and management; and if you have not these gifts by
+nature, you must acquire them, whatever they may cost. I still hold to
+my principles; but I don't propose to run them into the ground. In
+morality, as elsewhere, a little too much is apt to be worse than much
+too little; and theory and practice are very different things, not to be
+rashly confounded. You want to hold the right theories, and then to live
+as near them as depraved mundane conditions will allow. The manly
+weapons of which Jane spoke so scornfully last night are the right
+ones--when you can use them. In the case in hand, to tell all I know
+would have been at any time, and would still be, impossible and ruinous.
+Hartman is not so far out on some points: as he says, we did not arrange
+the present scheme of things, and could not be proud of it if we had.
+
+You may say, and I could not deny, that my diplomacy, such as it is, is
+not always employed for the benefit of women only. Hartman is a luminous
+and transparent soul--too much so for his own good: why did I practise
+occasionally on him? I can explain that best on general principles.
+
+In a world a majority of whose inhabitants are female, demoralization
+has naturally extended far and wide, till strict veracity has become
+unpractical. The first falsehood (after the serpent's) must have been
+humiliating to him who uttered it, and a fatal example to those who
+heard; but mankind soon grew used to the new fashion. I pass over the
+rude barbarian ages, whose gross and inartistic lying offers no claim to
+respectful and sympathetic interest, and no excuse but the lame one of
+selfish depravity, common to the race. But with the inroads of
+civilization Life became complex, and Truth was found too simple and
+rigid to fit with all its varied intricacies. That is, when Truth _is_
+simple. "Don't you think my baby beautiful?" demands a fond parent. "No,
+I don't: far from it." That is the truth; but its naked and repulsive
+brutality demands to be clothed with the garb of humane and graceful
+fiction. "Prisoner at the bar, are you guilty or not guilty?" He is
+guilty, of course; but if he says so, it is a dead give-away. In this
+case indeed the interests of Truth are one with those of Society, though
+not of the prisoner; but often it is different. The basis of ethics, our
+moralists say, is as largely utilitarian as it is ideal. If so, is there
+any special sacredness about cold facts, that they should get up on end
+and demand to be published everywhere continually? Truth ought to be
+modest, and not claim all the observances and honors, seeing there are
+so many other deities whom we poor mortals are no less bound to worship.
+When Grotius' wife lied to the policeman about her husband's
+whereabouts, the lie was an act of piety, whereas truthtelling would
+have been murderous infidelity. If the minions of the law were after me,
+would I thank Mabel and Jane and Herbert for telling them which way I
+had gone? There is no more aggravated nuisance than he who insists on
+exposing all he knows at all times and places--as I used to do before I
+learned these tricks. Look at poor Hartman, ejecting his honest
+backwoods thought without asking whether it was a wise and decent
+offering to his small but highly select audience; and see what trouble
+he has brought on himself and all of us thereby.
+
+This outspokenness is often mere self-indulgence. Take me, for instance:
+to this day, in spite of all the lessons I have had, it is far easier
+and pleasanter for me to tell the truth than not. People of this
+temperament must learn to put a check on nature. Self-indulgence is
+bad, all agree, and self-denial useful and necessary. This is the way
+virtues clash and collide. I say, confound such a world. What is a plain
+man to do in it? As the poet sings, the _Summum Bonum_ belongs in
+heaven, and you can't expect to get at it here, but must simply do the
+best you can, which is generally not very good. And then, as another
+poet puts it, very likely nobody will appreciate your efforts, but you
+will get cuffed for them: we are punished for our purest deeds, and so
+forth.--But this is trenching on Hartman's province. It is well that I
+should think all this out now: I can talk it over with him before we get
+to business. He will want sympathy with his notions about the depravity
+of things in general, and that will smooth the way, and make him willing
+to open up on the specific woe that lies nearest.
+
+To return to our muttons. The guilt of duplicity has lain heavy on my
+conscience for two months, but how can I help it? I don't so much mind
+keeping what I know from Mabel and Jane, for it is not their affair. But
+it is Clarice's affair--most eminently so--and I had promised solemnly
+to tell her at once when I knew or thought of anything that concerned
+her. It was obviously impossible to keep my promise in this case--not on
+my account, but on hers. It will not be easy to tell even Jim that I
+overheard their last colloquy, and witnessed the tragical parting scene:
+I'll have to watch my opportunities, and spring that on him just at the
+right moment, when it will have the best effect. Now any one who knows
+Clarice must see that to tell her this would be to take the most awful
+risks, and probably to destroy all chance of reconciling them; that is
+level to the meanest apprehension, I judge. No sir: it can't be done
+till I have seen Jim, and got things in train. Properly handled, the
+secret--that is, my possession of it, which is a second secret, almost
+as weighty as the original one--may be a tool to manage both these
+intractable subjects with, and bring them to terms: in a fool's hands,
+and thrown about promiscuously, it would be an infernal machine to blow
+us up. No: I'll take whatever guilt there is, rather than hurt Clarice
+now and hereafter. Do you want to know my opinion of a man who is always
+and only thinking about keeping his hands clean and his conscience at
+peace, so that he can't do a little lying--or it might be other
+sinning--on adequate occasion, to serve his friends or a good cause? I
+think he is a cad, sir--a low-minded cad; and of such is not the kingdom
+of heaven. It may not occur every day: it might not do to insert in the
+text-books as a rule; but once in a while there may be better businesses
+than saving one's soul and keeping one's conscience void of offense.[2]
+
+I am arguing against my own nature in all this. In my heart I love Truth
+above all things, and follow and serve her with a devotion that is
+probably exaggerated. But I can't help seeing that there are two kinds
+of her. When she is simple and obvious, she seems to reside in bare
+facts, which we may easily respect too much, for what are they but
+blackguard carnalities? Preraphaelitism in art, Realism in literature,
+might be all very well if they would keep their place--which is in the
+kitchen. Some may want pots and pans, and scullions, and pigs' feet, and
+ribs of beef described. I don't myself; but it is a free country, and
+vivid and accurate portraiture of these delicacies may constitute the
+main charm of literature for some readers, possibly. But Realism wants
+to take its pots and pans into the parlor: it always overdoes things. "A
+daisy by the river's brim a yellow daisy was to him, and it was nothing
+more." Well, what else should it be?--But perhaps I have not got that
+right. Pass on to our next head.
+
+Truth is not always simple--by no means always. Often she is highly
+complex, and as much mixed as I was just now; and then you don't know
+where she is, or what she is, and it gets to be all guesswork. One says,
+Here, and another says, There: the philosophers upset each other's
+schemes in turn, the theologians hurl reciprocal excommunications, the
+scientists of to-day laugh at those of last year. If Pilate meant it
+this way, we owe him some sympathy and respect. "Speak the truth and
+shame the devil," they say. Bah! [I think this expletive ought to be
+spelt _Baa_.] When you know what the truth is, you are more likely to
+shame your friends, and become obnoxious and ridiculous. And in most
+cases you don't know, and if you suppose you do, you are mistaken. I
+have thought out a way of approximating Truth on a large scale, and more
+nearly than most succeed in doing; but this is a big topic, and I had
+better keep it to entertain Hartman with.
+
+O yes; I was to explain why I sometimes use roundabout methods even with
+him. If you tell all you know to everyone you meet, or disclose your
+real character, it will generally be a waste of good material which
+might better be economized. By the way, what _is_ my real character? How
+should I know? One sees one side of it, another another. I see all that
+have turned up yet, but there may be many more, thus far latent; and how
+am I to harmonize them all, and take the average of a succession of
+phenomena? I am complex, like Truth.
+
+But I must not interrupt myself any more. Let us fall back on the
+utilitarian basis of ethics. You see, if I had talked like this to Jim
+when we met last May, he would have put himself on guard and begun to
+study me, whereas I wanted to draw him out--as I did. I have no
+objection to people studying me when I don't care to study them; but
+when there is anything to be done for them you have got to understand
+them first, and to this end it is best to appear simple and not distract
+their minds from the contemplation and disclosure of their own
+qualities: you can play on their vanity if your own does not stand in
+the road. Hartman has a fine mind, but in his innocent rural way he took
+for granted that I had stood still since we were together at college. So
+I played to his lead, and pretended, for instance, to know nothing about
+poetry; whereas, as you must have noticed, I am pretty well read, and my
+memory is remarkably copious and accurate. (Clarice did indeed say that
+I sometimes got the lines wrong; but what she meant was that the
+passages I quoted in my well-meant efforts to console her were of too
+gay a character for her melancholy mood.)
+
+In this way I secured Jim's regard and confidence, which I am using for
+his good: if I had put myself forward, and been anxious to impress him
+with my importance, he might have looked on me with the cynical
+indifference which is all the feeling he can afford to most people, and
+I should never have got him out of the woods. So when I was taking him
+to Newport, I said what it was desirable to say, and omitted what was
+not: how else should a rational man talk? And that first night there, I
+took the tone that he required, as a host is bound to do: sacred are the
+duties of christian hospitality. Poor Jim is as good as a play; he takes
+Life in such dead earnest, and expects his friends to be rampant
+idealists too: so I mounted the high horse for once to gratify him. He
+will never forget that, nor cease to respect me accordingly: he thinks I
+was serious then, and joking at all other times. You and I of course
+understand that Life is but a series of appearances; and if I seem to
+contradict myself, to say one thing on one page and its opposite on the
+next, I am only reporting the various phases assumed by facts without
+and moods within. 'The shield is gold.' 'No, it is silver.' Well, shall
+we fight about that? Probably it is both. A thing may be black in one
+light, and white in another, for what I know. Of all fools the positive
+philosophers seem to me the worst; and the most abject kind of conceit
+is that of alleged consistency. Why will you insist on a definiteness
+which has so little place in nature? The world is a chameleon, and you
+and I are smaller copies of it.
+
+I must try to explain all this to Hartman, and make him see that it is
+time he took on another color. He has been down in the depths all this
+while; now let him get up on the heights. But he would never do it of
+himself, nor without the management of a more practical mind. If I took
+things as he does, I should be tempted to say, "You monumental idiot, to
+fling a rash word at a girl as proud as Lucifer, and then to take her
+hasty repartee as a final verdict from doomsday book!" Happily there is
+one person around with sense enough to see that both these moon-struck
+babes are forgivable, and therefore capable of such bliss as may be
+found in a world of which the best to be said is that we are in very
+small measure responsible for it. They were both foolish, of course; but
+what proportion does their joint offence bear to their punishment--and
+ours? That is the Order of Things--this blessed and beautiful Kosmos.
+
+[Footnote 2: The unwary reader may possibly need to be reminded that R.
+T. is not to be taken too seriously, especially in this his Apology for
+Lying.--_Pub._]
+
+
+
+
+XXI.
+
+JANE TO THE RESCUE.
+
+
+It may seem unfeeling in me to indulge in dissertations like the above
+at so critical a juncture: but they serve to fill the time while I am
+waiting for marching orders. I have written to Jim, and that is all I
+can do at present. Jane thinks differently: she ought to have been a
+man, she is so fond of action. She got me in a corner to-day.
+
+"Well, brother?"
+
+"Well, Jane?"
+
+"What have you done?"
+
+"Done? what should I do?"
+
+"Use a man's tools, that you are so fond of; plain speech, if no more.
+Have you spoken to Clarice yet?"
+
+"No: why should I speak to her? She spoke to Mabel, not to me."
+
+"Robert, are you ever sincere in anything? When _I_ profess affection
+for people, I am ready to serve them at their need."
+
+"So am I, and Clarice knows it. She is perfectly aware that I am ready
+to do this thing, or any other thing within my power, for her at any
+time. It is easy for her to say what she wants."
+
+"Brother, you are _so_ stupid! Don't you know that it is excessively
+difficult for her to allude, however remotely, to a matter like this?
+Say what she wants, she would die first. Do you desire to wait for that?
+She is not like the rest of us; and a woman is not like a man. _You_
+could talk for a week, and turn your whole mind inside out, with no
+fatigue--except to your audience; but the faintest reference to what I
+need not name would cost her a painful effort. I told you it was a great
+thing for her to say what she did to Mabel. That ought to have been
+enough for you."
+
+"How could it be enough? Do try to talk sense now, Jane. How can I go
+off blindly on a fool's errand--in her interest, but without commission
+or instructions?"
+
+"Ask her for them, then. It is ungenerous to put on her the burden of
+opening the subject. She is doubtless waiting for you to speak, and
+wondering at your slackness."
+
+"Hanged if I can understand that. How many times have you lectured me
+about showing her proper respect, and restraining my native coarseness,
+and what not; and now you want me to go to her like a trooper or a grand
+inquisitor, and ask about the state of her feelings toward Hartman. I
+can't do it, Jane. When you get into such a scrape, I might try it, if
+you insisted--though it would go against me, as Sir Lancelot said: then
+you could see how you liked it. Clarice wouldn't like it at all; and she
+has deserved better things of me than that."
+
+"She _has_ deserved better things of you than she is getting. I thought
+you loved her as I do. So that was only one of your pretences?"
+
+"I love her too well to harass her; to intrude upon her solitude when
+she does not want me; to pry into her affairs without her consent, and
+destroy what chance there is that she may call me when she is ready."
+
+"She will never be ready, unless we, that are her first friends, come to
+her aid against her own pride and shyness. You think me intrusive--a
+meddlesome old maid, prying into what does not concern me: but, brother,
+she and Mr. Hartman were made for one another. They were deeply
+interested, both of them--I could see it plainly: it would have been
+settled in a few days more, if that wretched misunderstanding had not
+occurred. _He_ may get over it; he is a man, though he did not seem to
+be that kind. But she--she is of the deep, and silent, and constant
+type: she will nurse this hurt till it kills her. I love her, Robert;
+she has nobody but us. She never knew a thing like this before; it is
+her first experience. Other men to her were playthings, or bores; she
+had no friend among them but you. You cannot fancy how hard it is for
+her; harder far than for a younger girl. She is so helpless, for all her
+pride--her pride makes her more helpless to speak or act. If I could
+only help her, now--"
+
+And here, to my amazement, my stately sister broke down in a passion of
+tears and sobs: I never knew her do such a thing before. I patted, and
+petted, and soothed her, and did all that a man of humanity and
+experience does in such cases. I shall apply for the title, Consoler of
+Feminine Woes, since the business of the office comes to me. It will be
+Mabel next, I suppose, and then this thing must stop, unless we begin
+the round afresh. Clarice may naturally want to be comforted once or
+twice more; but I hope soon to remove all further occasion for that.
+Jane and I have not been like this since we were children.
+
+"There, there. Sister dear, I would knock any man down, and insult any
+woman, who said of you what you just said of yourself. You are not an
+old maid, and you might be a society leader if you cared for it: plenty
+of women are who have more years and less looks and manners and brains
+than you. You are as far as possible from a meddler: your fault is that
+you keep too much to yourself. I am sure Clarice would be touched and
+flattered by your interest in her: I should, if you took a quarter as
+much in me. Do you know, I never saw you look so well, or do yourself
+such credit--till now--as night before last. My heart said amen to every
+word you uttered, even when you were girding at me; for you thought I
+deserved it, and in part I did. I will have no more secrets from
+you--except such as I have no right to impart. If you will, we shall be
+friends now, and work together in this thing. You always seemed to
+despise me, Jane; and it is tedious when the affection is all on one
+side."
+
+"Yes: you used to have enough of that with Clarice."
+
+She was feeling better now. As I may have said on some previous
+occasion, a little judicious management will do great things for a
+woman. I must keep this up if I can, and make appropriate responses to
+all her remarks. I have been too hard on Jane in the past. After all,
+the tie between brother and sister is a peculiar one--few more so; and,
+except for the Princess, who is such only by adoption, each of us is all
+the other has got in that line. Perhaps I ought to have thought of this
+earlier.
+
+"Clarice appreciates my virtues better now, as I hope you will. But I
+was going to tell you: I am of one mind and heart with you about this,
+dear. I have always meant to see Hartman this fall, of course; but it
+was better that the suggestion should come from Mabel, you see."
+
+"You do tangle things up so unnecessarily, Robert. Mabel would have
+approved of anything you proposed, as a matter of course."
+
+"Well, my dear, I have no desire to be a dictator in the house, like
+some men. You all have interests and rights to be respected, and I want
+you to have your say."
+
+"We would have it more cheerfully if you would take yours--out plainly,
+in a man's way, you know. Have you written Mr. Hartman?"
+
+"Certainly: that same night, and asked if he wanted me next week. That
+was simple enough. I'm not afraid of _him_."
+
+"I can't see why you should be so afraid of Clarice. You've known her
+all her life, and she is only ten years younger than you. If she were
+but seventeen, now, and a new acquaintance, I might understand it. You
+_must_ have it out with her, Robert. If I adopt her style, perhaps you
+will do as I wish. Remember, we are to work together in this thing, and
+you are of one mind and heart with me about it; so you must let me
+direct you. Mind, now!"
+
+I stared: it was an imitation, gentle and subdued indeed, of the
+Princess as she was in her days of glory--not so long ago, alas!--before
+the rains descended and the winds blew and the storm beat upon her house
+of life: the tones were there, and a hint of the arch looks. Where did
+Jane learn these tricks? And what has come over her? A maiden, even of
+her years, is hardly warmed to life by a few compliments and caresses
+from her own mother's son. Can Hartman have waked her up too? She
+laughed in my face.
+
+"If our plot succeeds, you may be thrown on my society again; and as you
+are going to be so affectionate, I must fill Clarice's place as well as
+I can. Meantime, you had better let me guide you; indeed you had."
+
+"That may be; only don't drive me too hard, please. I'm not what I once
+was: all these emotions are too many for me. Where do you propose to
+guide me to?"
+
+"To Clarice. Will you come now?"
+
+"Scarcely: a nice reception we should get. This is not a case where two
+are better far than one. And then it would be three presently, which
+never answers--when she is one of them. I would rather go alone, and
+much rather not at all. Guide me somewhere else, sweet sister: or you
+can go yourself, if you like. But I don't see why she should stand on
+ceremony with me."
+
+"Not with you, but with her own heart--a more recent acquaintance, and
+much more formidable."
+
+"But that is there all the same, whether I go to her or she comes to
+me."
+
+"Yes, but--can't you see? She dislikes to take the initiative."
+
+"So do I. According to you, she has taken it already."
+
+"Yes, and once is enough. You are so slow, Robert: you require so much
+teaching."
+
+"I know. But don't despair: Hartman says you have improved me a heap,
+between you. You see, the cases are different. None of you are the least
+afraid of me--I should be sorry if you were. But I am afraid of you: you
+are such superior beings. You know you are: you look on my masculine
+dulness with contempt; and so do I. It is my deep and loyal respect for
+a woman--which you said I would never learn. Jane, you hurt me then; you
+have hurt me often. I would have been fonder of you--showed it more, I
+mean; but affection, repulsed, shrank into the shell of indifference. Be
+kind, now, and I will do anything you say. You see, I _am_ getting on."
+
+"I wish you would get on toward the business in hand. A nice time
+Clarice must have had with you. I can see now why she had to keep so
+tight a rein on you, and to rule you by fear. Will you speak to her, or
+will you not?"
+
+"Of course I will, before I go. We can't hear from Jim for several days
+yet. She will probably come to me before that. If not, I'll have to go
+to her. Jane, there are some things that you don't understand, and I
+can't explain."
+
+"Queer things they must be, then. I wonder that a man should be such a
+coward."
+
+"If you were a man, you wouldn't. I don't care to display my courage at
+home, sister. You are harder than Clarice. You want me to be all around
+the circle at once, and whatever I do, you find fault. My dear, ever
+since you spoke, I have been hanging about, to give her a chance to say
+what she wants. How can I stride up to her and shout, 'Here, tell me
+what to say to your runaway lover'? She knows all about it, if you
+don't. I'll wait to-morrow after breakfast; tell her so, if you will.
+She has only to look at me, and I'll ask her, if she wishes. Then you
+can scold me to your heart's content for making a mess of it, and being
+rough and brutal and stupid. Jane, I am doing the best I can. If I could
+put myself absolutely into your hands, and be but a voice and body to
+your mind, it might be an improvement; but unhappily that is not
+feasible at present. Will what I propose answer?"
+
+"Perhaps: I will see. I may have been unjust to you, Robert: you are
+different from most men, and not easy to understand: you like to let
+part of you pass for the whole. Whether you are so easy to rule as you
+pretend to be, I am not sure yet. Well, there is time to find out. If
+you live by your professions, well and good. Kiss me, dear; good-night."
+
+Since Jane has panned out in this unexpected way, I wish I could tell
+her the Secret: she might give me some points. But that is
+impossible--unthinkable, as they say at Concord. Clarice would never
+forgive me: that would be bad, but not the worst. It would be disloyal
+to her--distinctly so. That I've never been yet, and I'm too old to
+begin now. There may be cases in which the end justifies the means, but
+this is not one of them. No: I must dree this weird (if that is the
+expression), and hoe this row, all by myself. If I had been bred in the
+east, I should be tempted to say it was a contumelious responsibility.
+The next time you want to get into difficulties with a lady, James
+Hartman, you must do it on some other premises than mine.
+
+
+
+
+XXII.
+
+AN ORDEAL.
+
+
+Next morning I was nosing about in the library, pretending to be looking
+for a book, when Clarice came to me and said, "I don't think what you
+want is here. Leave business this afternoon, and take me to the Park."
+
+If she were to say, "Leave business this year, and take me to Europe, or
+to Madagascar," I should do it: she would have to arrange the matter
+with Mabel, but that she could do without difficulty, I have not the
+least doubt. It would be a loss to Water Street, and my departure would
+be felt in business circles generally; but they would have to stand it
+as they might. In this case, however, no heavy sacrifice was involved:
+for a few hours, or days, or weeks, Pipeline, as Mabel says, can conduct
+the old stand well enough. What it needs is the feeling that a master
+mind presides over its destinies, though from such a distance as Newport
+or the Wayback woods.
+
+We agreed on an hour--that is, she told me to be at the door at two--and
+I went down town, feeling relieved. It is much better for Clarice to
+take the responsibility of opening communications, and I wish she would
+conduct the whole interview, like a major-general with his aid-de-camp
+or a master plumber sending out his apprentices to mend the
+pipes--leaving me only to take notes of instructions. But that is too
+much to expect. It is a delicate task before me, and my talents for such
+(according to the ladies), are not so eminent that I should be anxious
+to overwork them. I can manage a man, and some women perhaps; but to
+catechize and cross-examine her on a subject as to which pride, and
+honor, and modesty lock a girl's lips--I don't see how I can do it,
+even with her consent. I would rather smoke my pipe through a powder
+mill than hurt you, my poor Princess: my clumsy fingers were never made
+to play about your heartstrings.
+
+I dropped in at Trinity on my way, and put up a prayer; it was that she
+might make it easy for herself, and for me, though that is a minor
+matter--keep the game in her own hands, and tell enough to serve her
+ambassador's need, without his questioning.
+
+She did not keep me waiting: she never had that vice. The change in her
+is not for casual eyes to see. Outwardly, I have fallen off more than
+she has; in fact, I have lost three pounds in these last two months.
+Many a hat was raised, many an envious glance turned toward me, as we
+spun up the avenue. The fellows at the club, and elsewhere, used to
+pester me to introduce them, and I gratified them for a while, till she
+told me she could not have all my acquaintances coming to call, and made
+Mabel say I must leave off bringing men home to dinner. She never was a
+coquette; but what is a girl so endowed to do? They would force
+themselves on her, by dozens, by scores, by hundreds: they overflowed
+the house and took up all her time; they crowded her life, until she
+could stand it no longer and stopped it. That is why we live so quietly
+of late: it is a great improvement. Now, they gaze on her from afar: yet
+she never had difficulty with any of them--till August, alas. That was
+my fault, for bringing in a wild man from the woods, who could not be
+counted on or ruled like the rest, but would flop around in his
+uncircumcised way and break things. I should never forgive myself for
+that, if I did not hope to get matters right--and more so than they ever
+were, for her.
+
+For a time we drove on silently. Then of a sudden, without looking at
+me, she said very quietly, "Jane told me you wanted to see me, Robert."
+
+O Lord, is this to be the shape of it after all? Well, what must be
+must, and I will do my stint as a man may. "Did she say nothing else?"
+
+"That you were afraid to come to me. Have I been so harsh with you, or
+so terrible of late?" Her tone was half arch, half reproachful.
+
+"No, no; far from it. But you know how it is, Clarice. Your trouble is
+ours, and I am a poor surgeon. How can I put a knife into the wound? I
+wish it were mine, and mine only."
+
+"I have brought trouble on you all, brother. I ought to have gone away."
+
+"Never; do you think Mabel and Jane would allow that, any more than I?
+We would all rather break our hearts together, if that need be, than
+have you among strangers now: it would be worse for us, no less than for
+you. When you are happy you may leave us; not till then."
+
+"I know. You love me, here, and bear with me, and for me--though I don't
+deserve it."
+
+"Don't say that--anything but that. My Princess deserves everything--and
+by Jove, she shall have it. If I knew exactly what she wanted, now--"
+
+All this time we had to be smiling and bowing right and left. You can't
+make pretty speeches under such circumstances, or do delicate work. I
+had turned from the main drive, but it was only a little better.
+
+"Let us get out of this, Robert. There are too many people: we can't
+talk here."
+
+We went by streets which you must know, if you are accustomed to have
+this kind of business on hand. I trust you are not: a little of it goes
+a long way. At last we got into a quieter, semi-rural region. Find it
+out for yourself, if you can: I am not going to tell you the exact spots
+made sacred by these confidences. Meantime I had been thinking what to
+say, and it came out with a rush. It is a little easier when you put the
+third person for the second--yes, that is a good idea.
+
+"If I were sure just what she wanted, she should have that thing, if
+there is any power in the human will. But I am clumsy, and thick-headed,
+and make blunders--you have often said so, Clarice, and so has Jane, and
+even Mabel. She I speak of is of finer clay than others. Her nature has
+its own laws, which I can understand only very imperfectly. Yes, you
+know it is so: you have told me that too. O, she need not mind me, nor
+consider me in the least. I am afraid only of offending or hurting her:
+I only want to help and serve her, if I can. If she could look on me
+just as a tool to be used, an instrument in case she desired to produce
+certain sounds--I wish I were more capable of harmony--as a medium
+possibly--. But she will not speak--perhaps she cannot. And how can I
+question her, as if from vulgar curiosity? What right have I?"
+
+Her eyes were wet now, under her veil: I could see it, though nobody
+else could; and we were on a country road.
+
+"Robert, you are the best and dearest man in the world."
+
+"Hardly that. But I am proud of your approval, and will try to earn it.
+I have not earned it yet, you know."
+
+"Brother, you rate me too high, and--and her you speak of. What if she
+had what she wanted within reach, and rudely thrust it away?"
+
+"But she did not do that, dear: she could not. I am sure it is there
+yet, if she would deign to take it."
+
+"If that were certain, she would have others than herself to think of.
+So long as it was or might be merely herself, what could she do?"
+
+I began to see light now. "There _are_ others; and though they are of
+less consequence, her generous heart would not let them suffer. Suppose
+to one of them this meant life or death, hope or despair, use or
+uselessness. Suppose one not like most of us, but simple, sincere, and
+noble, unversed in the world's ways and little loving them, with a great
+heart early clouded and a strong mind warped thereby, had begun to pin
+his faith to her I speak of, and in her eyes to see reconciliation to
+earth and heaven; and then for one rash word, one casual misconception
+such as comes between any of us, had fancied the cup of promise snatched
+away, and in his misjudging innocence gone back to his cave of gloom,
+thinking himself doomed to a state worse than that from which he had
+been nearly rescued. Would she let him stay there forever?"
+
+"I suppose she ought not--if she could help it. It is well he has better
+friends than she has proved. But I cannot talk of this: indeed I cannot.
+It may be weak and foolish, but I cannot. You must do what you have to
+do in your own way.--No, I will not be such a coward, and so basely
+ungrateful. O, I understand your position, Robert. You will have to
+question me: I am sorry, but it is the only way. Ask what you absolutely
+need to know for your own guidance--I know you will ask no more--and I
+will try to answer."
+
+I groaned; and then I could have choked myself. Must my despicable
+selfishness add to her burdens? What are my feelings, my petty
+reluctance, to her interests? Have I not set myself aside? Are you not
+man enough, Robert T., to put a few civil queries to a lady, when she
+has just given you express permission, and even directed you to do so?
+The less you sneer at cads after this, the better.--I was so long making
+up my mind to it that the poor girl had to speak again.
+
+"I am very sorry, brother. It is too bad to burden you so. If I could
+save you the trouble, I would, indeed. O, I appreciate your motives, and
+your delicacy, and all your efforts to shield and spare me--never fancy
+that I did not, I have made more trouble than I am worth. If I could
+only die, and end it all!"
+
+This, as you may imagine, put a speedy end to my shilly-shallying. "That
+would end it all, with a vengeance. Some other people of my acquaintance
+would want to die then too--or before. Dearest Clarice, don't talk so.
+Two things I can't bear--your lowering yourself like this, and your
+exalting me. I am a hound: if I were half a man, I'd have made it easier
+for you. It is only that I distrust my own ability, my own penetration,
+my own judgment. I ought not to need any more instructions--but this
+business is so important, and I'm afraid of making a mess of it."
+
+"Dear Robert, you lay too much stress on the opinion I pretended to have
+of you, in days when I only half knew you and thought far too much of
+myself and too little of others. I know better now. You have the insight
+of sympathy: your heart will help your head. You will not need to ask me
+many questions; you can read between the lines."
+
+"I will try. You need not answer in words when you don't want to: just
+move your head a little, and let me see your eyes. You see, in view of
+my stupidity, the less risks we take the better: I must have some things
+down in black and white. Well then: you said something to Mabel about my
+health, and the fall fishing?"
+
+"Yes. You do need a change; I have had you on my conscience all this
+while. It is all my doing; and you love me so." Her hand stole into
+mine.
+
+"That is certainly so. Do you know where I would go if left to
+myself--if these last months were blotted from the calendar?"
+
+"Of course. Is it necessary to go through all these formalities?"
+
+"I think so: forgive me, dear. I must not trust my intuitions too far:
+they are not as fine as yours.--You know what construction might be put
+on my going there now?--Not by the outside world; it has nothing to do
+with this business, happily. But by any of us; and more especially
+by--ah--by him?"
+
+Her face was set now, her lips closed tight; but she nodded.
+
+"You have no word to send, I suppose?--No, of course not: how could you?
+Then if he asks, or if it is necessary to tell him about you, as of
+course it will be, I am to say merely what I think, so that you are
+nowise responsible?--Yes, I see. But the main thing to do there is to
+make observations, and bring my report to you?--Certainly: he must put
+himself on record before you do, if this is to go on. _If?_ Of course it
+will: it shall be all right, my dear child. Then it follows that I can't
+bring him back with me?--Why no: he must bide his time, and fulfil his
+penance. That is all, I believe: the examination--or the operation, I
+had nearly said--is over, and you have borne it well. Thank you,
+Princess; and forgive me for troubling you. You won't hate me, will you,
+for having to be so horrid, and making you go through all this?--Thank
+you again. Shall we turn homeward now?--Yes, we'll be there by dark."
+
+She sat very still, and paler than I like to see her. As for me, great
+beads of perspiration were on my forehead, though it was a cool day. I
+drove as fast now as the law allows. At last she spoke, and her voice
+trembled. "Brother, how shockingly we have all misjudged you!"
+
+"No, dear: you did not misjudge me at all. But you have been educating
+me, and it is fit the best there is in me should come to the front for
+your service--if it never put its head up before, nor should again. Wait
+till I come back: I've done nothing yet."
+
+"You have done everything. The rest will be easy for you, compared with
+this."
+
+"By Jove, you are right there: I'm glad we're through this part of
+it.--One thing more; about Jane. She loves you as I do; she has been
+berating me for indifference and slackness in the cause. O, she is a
+trump: she was crying bitterly last night because she could do nothing
+to help you, and because I was too lazy and cowardly to move; she has
+egged me on to this. May I tell her what we have agreed on?"
+
+"O yes, tell her anything you like, and Mabel too. I have made you all
+such a poor return: any other woman in my place would have trusted you
+long ago, and been the better for it. But I am so strangely made,
+Robert: my lips are like a seal to my heart. Excuse me at dinner, won't
+you? And promise me one thing--that always, after this, you will come to
+me at once, without scruple, when you want me, on my account or on your
+own. As if I could be reluctant to talk with you! Tell me when you hear
+from him, and when you are going, and--anything else. You won't mind my
+silence, or wait for me to speak? And you must never be afraid of me
+again."
+
+
+
+
+XXIII.
+
+PLAN OF CAMPAIGN.
+
+
+The Princess was seen no more that night, and I got away till dinner
+time. Then I said that she was not coming down, and anxious looks were
+exchanged, and dark ones cast on me. In return I winked at Jane, and
+frowned severely on Herbert, who intercepted the signal and began to
+grin. Mabel, who had seen it too, reproved me for setting the boy a bad
+example; and thus a diversion was effected. While she was seeing after
+the children, my sister carried me off to the library: I made her kiss
+me before I would tell her anything.
+
+"Jane, you may scold me as much as you like after this, and I will never
+say a cross word to you again. Hartman was right: he said you had more
+penetration than any of us, and all sorts of virtues. O, you needn't
+mind about blushing; we are alone. It's true, and I shall hold you in
+honor accordingly."
+
+"Brother, I hope you have not spoiled your work with careless handling.
+I always distrust you when you begin your fine speeches."
+
+"That was in the past, which we have put behind us: they come now from
+the abundance of the heart. We are one, you know, and I am to tell you
+everything. Jane, I've done exactly as you told me, and given you all
+credit. She knows it was your move; and it's all right."
+
+"Then you found that your imagination had created, or greatly magnified,
+the difficulties, and that your fears were unnecessary?"
+
+"Far from it. It was a terrible job for both of us: the mere
+recollection of it is harrowing. Clarice is laid up, and only my
+superior physical strength and fortitude, with an hour's recuperation,
+enabled me to face you all at table."
+
+"Then you must have been rough with her. Brother, how could you?"
+
+"What did I tell you? You drive me, with all your sharp-pointed feminine
+weapons, to a painful task, and then you blame me because you fancy I've
+not discharged it as neatly as the angel Gabriel might. She thinks I
+did, however. Was I rough with you last night? Is it my habit to go
+around trampling on the finer feelings of our nature? In the hour of
+woe, when your heartstrings are torn asunder, you will find me a
+first-class comforter. I thought you knew that already."
+
+"I doubt if Clarice knows it, if you took this tone with her. Can you
+never be serious, Robert?"
+
+"Good heavens, Jane, what would you have? Have I not been serious
+through two weary months, and eminently so all this afternoon? I had to
+be. Let the overstrung bow be relaxed a little now. You remember the
+Prime Minister, who after an exciting debate used to go home and play
+with his children?
+
+"As exciting debates are usually conducted in the small hours, it was
+cruel to disturb their infant slumbers. If you want to do that here you
+will have to get Mabel's consent; it is out of my province. Best play
+with your children before they go to bed."
+
+"Children of a larger growth will serve. Bear with me, sister. My
+faculties have been sorely tasked: I am spent and weary--"
+
+"And you must have somebody to play with. Was that why you were so fond
+of Clarice, because she sometimes humored you? She could hardly serve
+your turn now: the poor child is in no jesting mood. Nor am I; nor ought
+you to be."
+
+"Sister, you wrong me. It is my warmth of heart, my fraternal affection,
+which you have so oft-repulsed. Mine is a poet's nature. You stare, but
+it is so: it is only lately that I discovered the fact myself. Like the
+elder Bulwer, I pine for appreciation, for sympathy--"
+
+"You will continue to pine if you go on like this. I never saw such a
+man for beating about the bush and talking nonsense. What have you
+accomplished?--I don't want to pry into her secrets, or ask her to share
+her confidences, but--"
+
+"Now, Jane, if you have any heart left, I will bring the tear of
+contrition to your eye. I asked and obtained her permission to tell you
+all I know, and all we have just arranged."
+
+"Don't be so long about it, then. What are the arrangements?"
+
+So I imparted them with but little modification or reservation; and
+Mabel coming in presently, I went over the main outlines again. It is
+not every man who could thus communicate state secrets to his family;
+but mine never talk about home affairs to outsiders. One point is, they
+do not attend the Sewing Society: if they did, I should feel less safe.
+They approved in the main.
+
+"It hardly seems fair to Mr. Hartman," said Jane; "but no doubt it's as
+much as you can expect from her."
+
+"I should say it was: why, she is acting nobly. If it were any other
+man, he should, and would, have all the making up to do, instead of
+putting it on us. You see, you--that is, we--don't exactly know what the
+quarrel was. He must have been in the wrong, of course."
+
+"O yes, because you are a man. Now suppose I, being a woman, say, 'She
+must have been in the wrong, of course.'"
+
+"My dears," said Mabel, "let us compromise. They are both human beings;
+probably they were both in the wrong."
+
+"Happy thought," said I. "We'll fix it that way: then they have only to
+kiss and be friends. But still, the man is generally expected to open
+the ball."
+
+"That is," said Jane, "if all does not go smoothly from the start, which
+can hardly be expected, poor Mr. Hartman is to be sacrificed."
+
+"I would not put it just that way; though he, or any man, ought to be
+glad to be sacrificed for Clarice. She is naturally first with me, as I
+should suppose she would be with you--except that, as you pertinently
+observe, you also are a woman. But never fear, Jane; I'll attend to
+Hartman's case too. I hope to act as attorney for both plaintiff and
+defendant, and speedily to reconcile their conflicting interests. It is
+true I am on a prospecting tour: I have no retainer from him yet. But I
+shall soon pocket that, and master his side of the suit. O, I'll take
+him up tenderly, and handle with care."
+
+"Of course you will, Robert," said Mabel. "If there is any quality for
+which you are distinguished, it is the even-tempered justice of your
+mind. You can argue on both sides of a case with equal fluency and
+force, and that quite independent of your personal predilections."
+
+"Just so. But I fear Jane has not the same confidence in my fairness and
+ability with you, my dear. You will have to talk to her privately, and
+bring her to a proper frame of mind. She is my only and much loved
+sister, and I can't go till she has faith in me."
+
+"It is you who are not in a proper frame of mind as to Mr. Hartman's
+side of this affair, brother. A man has no sympathy, no charity, for
+another man. You can be all tenderness, and consideration, and faith,
+and loyalty, to a woman--when she has Clarice's looks; but when it is
+only an old friend who trusts you, you will laugh, and sneer, and amuse
+yourself at his expense, and either delude him or hopelessly estrange
+him."
+
+"Did you ever hear the like? Yesterday, and the day before, she insisted
+on my going; and now, when I am all on fire to go, she throws cold water
+on my zeal, and--"
+
+Here my wife interrupted me. "Jane, it is you who show undue levity. You
+forget that Clarice is my cousin; that is why Robert is so fond of her,
+and espouses her cause so warmly. I think it is very good of him, and
+very generous."
+
+"Now you have hit it: Jane, hide your diminished head. Mabel, if Hartman
+can prove affinity with you, I will take just as much pains for him as
+for Clarice. But, sister, you and I must be one. I tell you what I will
+do: I will stay at home all next Sunday, and let you preach to me: then,
+if you can't fill me to the nozzle with your views, whose fault will it
+be? Or you might go along, as you wanted to in May. Then you could
+personally superintend the campaign."
+
+"My only hope is that you will sober down before you get there. In this
+mood you could do no good at all."
+
+"That's where you are mistaken. Jim expects me to brighten him up: _he_
+is not wholly without a sense of humor. But if you think I am going
+there for amusement, you are out again. I shall take Young's Night
+Thoughts, and Hervey's Meditations among the Tombs, and a volume or two
+of sermons, to read on the way, and get my mind attuned to the
+atmosphere of the place. My jokes there will be solemn and elaborate
+offerings, prompted solely by a humane sense of necessity. But, Jane,
+you are in a minority of one. Clarice has confidence in me: you ask her.
+And so has Mabel: haven't you, my love?"
+
+"Yes, certainly. Why, Jane, Robert is the only person who can possibly
+manage this affair, since you and I can't well go, and Clarice does not
+like to speak out herself. We could not commit it to a stranger, you
+know. Robert knew Mr. Hartman before any of us did; they were old
+friends at college. He is the natural link between them, you might say.
+If he will only remember not to laugh in the wrong places, as he did
+that time we took him to church, when the minister thumped his sermon
+off the pulpit, and not to tell the wrong stories, as he so often does
+at table, and not to yawn when Mr. Hartman explains how badly he has
+been feeling since he left us, he will do very well. You can't expect
+him to take the same interest in Mr. Hartman as in Clarice: would he
+care for us as he does, if we were men? Jane, he is pointed out by
+Providence as the means of reconciling them. You must see that he is to
+be trusted entirely. Under his supervision it will all come right: I
+said so from the beginning."
+
+After this, there seemed no need of further remarks. Mabel withdrew
+early, and I went out to smoke. When I came back, I found Jane again in
+tears.
+
+"Brother, tell me that you were only playing with me, and that you are
+really in earnest about this matter, and will do your best to set it
+straight."
+
+"My dear sister, I will tell you anything you like, if you will only
+believe me; what is the use, if you won't? Do you suppose I care less
+for Clarice's happiness than you do--or for Jim's either? I wish you
+would talk to her, and let her clarify your ideas. Faith, as you may
+have heard in church, is a saving grace, and essential to peace of mind.
+Within a month or two you will see whether I fail my friends or not, and
+then perhaps you will learn to trust me. Jane, I believe in you now,
+even if you don't believe in me; I would do almost anything to please
+you. You want me to change my nature: I would do even that, but it is so
+expensive, and then the new one might not fit as well as what I have
+now. You are very exacting, but you can't quarrel with me, because I
+will be no party to such proceedings."
+
+"Brother, it all rests with you. If you will bring them together, I will
+never doubt you again."
+
+"No, my dear, I'll not hold you to that. You shall doubt me as often as
+you like; but I will keep my promises all the same."
+
+You see, I am trying new tactics with Jane now. Magnanimity, patient
+forgiveness of injuries, disinterested and persistent affection, will in
+time soften the most obdurate. After Clarice goes off, there will be so
+few of us left that I can't afford to be on any but the best terms with
+such as remain. And then my sister, when she is willing to do
+herself--and me--justice, has some quite creditable traits.
+
+
+
+
+XXIV.
+
+TO WAYBACK AGAIN.
+
+
+I pass succeeding interviews, of which there were several. Poor Clarice
+had little to say, but was quite willing to listen to any suggestions of
+mine. What Jane unkindly calls beating about the bush is necessary with
+a person of her sensitive organization. She seems to feel that she has
+fallen from her old estate, and is not yet established in a new one. I
+am satisfied that she never would have made those admissions, slight as
+they are, and allowed me to go on this secret embassy, if she had only
+herself to consider. For the first time duty to others has come into
+collision with her pride, and shaken the citadel of her reserve. Always
+hitherto she has had things and people come to her; the exercise has
+been in keeping them off. To want, to seek, to invite--to lift a finger,
+unless in the way of small and graceful social management--this is new
+to her, and she takes it hard. The thing I have to do beyond all others
+is to preserve her dignity: she knows I can be trusted for that, though
+Jane does not. I can't blame Jane: she has never seen me conduct an
+affair like this, nor has any one else, for the simple reason that I
+never had it to do till now. I am only her brother: she has had
+experience of all my failings, and is imperfectly acquainted with my
+resources. Mabel is more satisfactory. She has not figured as much as
+some others in this chronicle; connubial modesty prevents my making her
+prominent. But she too possesses some very good traits; especially she
+has a way of bringing forward and dwelling upon points which nobody else
+would think of mentioning. She used to scold me sometimes, but that was
+chiefly when she thought I was not treating Clarice well. She lays
+great stress on ties of blood, and considers herself natural guardian
+and defender to the Princess, whom she sometimes forgets that I knew for
+fifteen years before I ever met her. Clarice talks little with her, and
+no more with Jane: I really believe that her only confidences--which are
+not much, if measured by words--have been made to me. But they are very
+fond of each other all the same. I suppose you can understand that much
+affection can exist with little intimacy. The Princess was cast in her
+own peculiar mould: I don't want to see many more like her, for they
+would be poor imitations. None of us ever attempt to pry into her inner
+life--or to meddle with her outward life either; when she wants anything
+of any of us, we are ready, and there it ends. She knows we love her,
+and that is enough.
+
+Hartman, now, is much less impenetrable; though I suppose he will shut
+himself up like an oyster over the dubious pearl of his precious secret,
+and give me no end of trouble to extract his contents. But I possess a
+knife which is able to open his shell. He has answered my letter
+promptly, and expects me presently. Does he think I am going up there
+merely to fish and hunt, and hear him talk a lot of rubbish about the
+Vanity of Life? Or does he scent my deeper motives--discern the
+Ethiopian within the encompassing pale, as they say in Boston? If so, he
+is apparently as willing to be operated on as he was before. At any rate
+he is a gentleman, and knows how to respect a woman--when he takes time
+to think about it. This is a delicate business for him as well as for
+the lady--and there is where the awkwardness comes in: from his point of
+view he can't speak out, any more than she. Well, I'll turn him inside
+out and manipulate him, if it takes the whole week. Happily I don't have
+to consider him as I did Clarice; as Jane intimates, a man can't expect
+to have his feelings spared in the process. What are a man's feelings
+anyway, compared with a woman's? And what rights has he as against hers?
+No: between man and man all that can be needed is plain speech and manly
+frankness--aided by a little diplomacy. I'll break you to pieces, James
+H., if you are fractious; and I've got the weapons to do it with. It is
+all for your good, and you'll bless me the rest of your life. One thing
+must be understood: I can't have you coming to my place and practising
+your wild backwoods manners on my family, and then sneaking off in the
+night and evading responsibility. The next time you come you will have
+to behave yourself, and to stay till Somebody has had enough of you.
+
+Mabel thinks I ought to enliven the account of my trip with descriptions
+of scenery and the like. But a rock is a rock, and a field is a field,
+and who wants to know whether a tree is elm or maple? I am not a
+geological survey, and you can get mountains enough from Craddock. Not
+that I am insensible to the beauties of Nature--as I have proved before
+now. How often have I sat upon an eminence, and admiringly gazed at the
+departing luminary as he sank slowly to rest, flooding hill and valley
+with tints which a painter might strive in vain to reproduce! I would
+have to sit there some time to see it all, for I have noticed that with
+us the Sunset proper does not begin till after the Setting of the Sun is
+finished. And when the distant mountains assumed a robe of royal purple,
+and 'the death-smile of the dying day' lingered pathetically on the
+horizon, my thoughts would soar to the Celestial City, and long to rest
+themselves upon its pavement of liquid gold. I heard Dr. Chapin say
+these last words at the first lecture I ever attended, and it struck my
+infant intelligence that they ought to be preserved. And I too might be
+a poet if I lived in the country, in constant communion with Nature,
+abandoning my soul to her maternal caress. But alas, the stir, the
+scramble, the mad whirl of city life, the debasing contact with low
+material minds, the daily study of Prices Current, make even of me a
+muckworm. Still, I might work up a brook or two after I get to the
+woods, or expatiate on a seven-pound trout: my conscience forbids me to
+weigh them higher, for I never saw any above three. And yet some men
+will talk familiarly of ten-pounders!--Or I might analyze the mediæval
+garments of Hodge and his old Poll. As for the Wayback houses, they are
+like any other habitations, only less of them, and few and far between:
+Jim's is the best, and it is nothing to brag of. You can see much better
+buildings any day on Broadway. The rural parts, as Lord Bacon observed,
+are but a den of savage men. It is to see one of these, and resume the
+interrupted process of civilizing him, that I am about starting on this
+philanthropic journey, leaving my happy home and the advantages of a
+metropolis. If the savage breast is open to ennobling influences, it
+shall be soothed and charmed by the music of my discourse. What loftier,
+more disinterested task than to reclaim the wanderer, and guide the
+penitent in the way wherein he should go? I began this soul-raising
+labor some time ago, but an unexpected hitch occurred in the proceeding:
+there must be no more such now.
+
+I found Hodge awaiting me at the station: he said that Hartman was
+arranging the tackle for to-morrow. The fact is, it is one of Jim's
+notions not to keep a horse, but to depend on Hodge for his
+communications with the outside world; and another never to see the
+railroad when he can help it.
+
+"Well, old man," I said as the effete steed began laboriously to get in
+motion, "how is your valuable health?"
+
+"Pooty tollable. How's them gells o' yourn as wanted to foller ye up
+here las' time?"
+
+"The ladies are reasonably well, and will be flattered by your
+inquiries. How is Mr. Hartman?"
+
+"Wall, Square, I ain't none too satyfied 'bout him. He don't say nothin
+to nobody, but he seems kinder low in his mind, like. Ever sence you
+played that durn trick on me and him, he's ben someways diffurnt. He--"
+
+"Look here, my aged friend; why should you accuse me of playing durn
+tricks on people? To what circumstance do you allude?"
+
+"I ain't alludin' to nothin; I says it out plain. If ye don't know,
+Id'no as I'm called to tell ye. Me an' Hartman was gittin on fust rate,
+till ye come and upsot us; we ain't used to bein upsot. So when our
+commydations wan't good enough for ye an' yer gells, ye went and got
+Hartman down thar in the city, or wharever 'twas. An' Id'no what ye done
+to him thar, an' I spose it's no good to ask a feller like ye; but he
+ain't ben the same man sence. That's how _he_ is. He uster be chipper,
+an' peart, an' clost frens with me; an' now he don't say nothin. Ye can
+see fur yerself pooty durn soon."
+
+And the native bestowed on me a malign glance. I trotted him out and
+entertained myself with his paces (which were livelier than those of his
+nag) for the next three hours. Those who like nature unadorned can find
+it here. As a specimen of unbridled rancor Hodge deserves a prize. I
+believe I have got to the bottom of his luminous intellect--not that it
+was worth the labor, if one had anything else to do. Supposing himself
+Jim's most intimate friend, he is jealous of me as a rival in that
+capacity; and he has never forgiven the slight put on his establishment
+in connection with the girls' proposed visit. I partly appeased him by
+suggesting that he supply the shanty with a new signboard labeled
+'Palace Hotel.' Fortunately I don't have to put up there this time.
+
+Of course he told me a lot of lies. A casual eye could see no change in
+the recluse: his head does not hang down on his breast, his locks are
+not long and matted, his sighs do not resound through the primeval
+forest and scare away the panthers. When you look closely at him, or
+have been with him long enough, you can see that he is a little thinner,
+a little older, a little less inclined to chaff--as well he may be.
+Chaffing is a bad habit anyway, and was his worst fault when I was here
+before; so far, his woes have improved him. He met me cordially enough,
+but with no wild demonstration: he seems no nearer insanity than last
+May. He asked after Mabel, Jane, and the children, but not after
+Clarice; nor did I mention her, of course. It was not a very pleasant
+evening, for each of us was watching the other to see what he would say.
+He knows as well as I do that the enemy has troops in reserve: he is not
+so unsuspicious as he was. He did not ventilate his theories to any
+great extent, nor did I see my way to expound my great scheme for the
+Ascertainment of Truth: the ground ought to be in good condition before
+you drop seed of such value upon it.
+
+If I thought things would go on like this, I should begin to grumble;
+but we shall probably get broken in to each other in a day or two, and
+then I can thaw him out. We talked glittering generalities for a
+while--the weather, and the war prospects abroad, and the chances of
+getting deer on the other side of a mountain not far away--like any
+commonplace boobies at a county fair. Then he proposed for next morning
+a stream I had not seen, some distance off, which would necessitate a
+start before daybreak: so I pretended to be tired from the journey, and
+we turned in early.
+
+
+
+
+XXV.
+
+A WILD BROOK.
+
+
+Next day we went some miles along a lonely road, and then through the
+fields of an abandoned farm. I don't wonder they abandoned it; I am only
+sorry for the poor wretch who once cherished the delusive dream of
+scratching a living there; when he died or went back to Canada, he
+couldn't well be worse off. Nature had but partially reclaimed the land,
+and we tramped through weeds and grass up to our middle; one might as
+well be wading a fair-sized river. You have no idea of the dew up here
+till you have tried it. After a while we struck into the woods, and such
+woods you never saw--at least I hope so for your sake. Rocks, big and
+little, generally of the most unchristian shapes--not picturesque, but
+sprawling; underbrush wherever it had a chance to grow: you could
+scarcely find a foot of smooth ground. The worst of it was the way the
+trees lay around loose. The region had not been burned over, at least
+not for many years; but it did seem to have been cursed, as if Adam's
+fall had been enacted there. The monarchs of the forest, for countless
+generations, had indulged a depraved propensity to fall also, and across
+each other in all possible directions. It was such an abattis as I trust
+our men, in the war, never had to fight their way through: here it was
+bad enough without anybody to shoot at you. I would go rods out of my
+way to get around a great bowlder, and come upon a conglomeration of big
+trees which had tumbled about till they made a Virginia fence fifteen
+feet high. Climbing is all very well in its way, but I don't like this
+kind. The queer thing was that they had not the sense to decay and
+crumble; the wood was mostly sound enough to be standing yet. I asked
+Hartman why they did not haul off all this timber, and he said there was
+no place to haul it to, nor any way to haul it, nor anybody to do the
+hauling; that fuel was cheap, and the few inhabitants had plenty nearer
+home; and besides, that it was most ornamental and useful where it
+was--it afforded exercise to the bodily and spiritual muscles of any
+anglers from the city who might come that way like me. "You forget the
+characteristics of this region, which are its advantages in my view. You
+can get turnpike roads, and teams, and sawmills, nearer home. You come
+up here to be away from the busy haunts, you know, and to see Nature in
+her native purity. This stream that I am taking you to is very seldom
+visited."
+
+"I should think it would be, if this is the way to get to it," I said,
+as I fell over a root and barked my nose and knees. "What the deuce did
+we come to such a blanked place for?"
+
+"For trout: you said they were what you wanted. The less fishermen, the
+more fish. This is the best brook in the county, because it is the least
+accessible. I rarely come here myself: I've been saving it up this year
+for you."
+
+We went on, our progress marked by frequent delays and accidents; that
+it was marked by no profanity was due merely to Jim's reticence and to
+my exceptional manners and principles. After what seemed to me about
+twenty miles--though he said it was only one and a half--of this
+singularly forsaken country, he cried, "Look out now, or you'll fall in.
+Here is the brook."
+
+It made noise enough to be heard a long way off, but I thought that was
+something else--some kobolds or other abnormal beings, probably, working
+at their forges underground. The brook itself was well enough, but it
+did not seem to belong there; you could not see it till you were on the
+edge of it. I have fished a good many streams, and tramped through all
+sorts of woods, but I never saw such a place as that before, and I never
+want to again. We had left our rods at home; high-toned anglers who
+carry fancy tackle through such regions leave it along the painful way
+in small pieces. So we carried merely our baskets--which were
+encumbrance enough--and what we had in our pockets. You can cut a pole
+anywhere, and it does not want to be a long one either: take your
+fly-book if you like, but worms are as good or better. There was no use
+of wading: you would be more likely to scare the fish so than by staying
+on the bank, where they could never see you; the difficulty was to see
+far enough to throw in five feet of line. It was a superior brook--all
+but the getting to it, and, as I afterwards found, away from it. If it
+could be removed from its loathsome surroundings and put down in a
+decent country, I would go there every year. I was going to say that
+some of the cascades were forty feet high, till I remembered that trout
+cannot climb as far as that.
+
+"Don't lose your balance," said Jim; "these fish are fierce." They were,
+in the wilder parts. They would bite like mad, and then wriggle and
+wrench themselves off the hook before you could get them up the bank. I
+never saw or heard of such ferocity, except in the celebrated scaly
+warrior which chased an equally famous fisherman all over an Adirondack
+lake, jumped across his boat several times, and, if I remember rightly,
+bit him on the nose. No such adventure fell to my lot on this occasion,
+though I thought that some of them, when sufficiently near my face,
+grinned at me as they parted company. Yet none of them were over half a
+pound, and most of them much less. You can see that this healthful
+pastime does not produce its usual demoralizing effect on me. When we
+reached a flat piece of ground, the water would become quiet and the
+manners of the fish more humane, so that they would come out like
+chubs. I stood in one spot under a tree, and took twenty-nine in
+succession. My sister, looking over these memoirs, suggests that they
+probably _were_ chubs; but Hartman, who was behind me then, came up and
+saw them, so I have his evidence. He said it was a spawning bed, and I
+ought to put the twenty-nine back. Who would have thought him capable of
+such mean jealousy? But he cannot play his tricks on me.
+
+About two P.M. he said we had better start.
+
+"Why, we don't want to reach home much before dark," said I.
+
+"No danger of it. It's much worse getting out of this than getting in.
+You saw how much path there is: we can't go straight, and it's all
+chance where we strike the fields. You'd better eat what you've got, and
+drink all you can: there's no water between this and the road."
+
+"Didn't you take landmarks? Look at the mountains all round."
+
+"They are like the mountains about the Dark Tower Childe Roland came to.
+I've been here twice before, and missed the way back both times. Nobody
+ever got out of here without going a circuit to the right, and taking
+his chances. The natives are afraid to come here: they say there are
+ghosts--the ghosts of those who got lost of old, and were eaten by
+bears. That's how we took so many trout. Look to your belt now, and the
+straps of your basket. The last time I was here, the other fellow lost
+his fish in the woods, and I made him go back and hunt them up: it was
+near night before he found them, and his basket was not much heavier
+than yours is now. If we should have to camp out, we can build a fire,
+cook some of the fish, and probably avoid freezing: but we'd better try
+to get out."
+
+I thought so too, and supposed he was trying to scare me; but the sun
+was nearly down when we saw the fields. We went four times too far,
+through that beastly region of rocks and dead trees: I think our course
+was mainly northwest by south-southeast. At last we got back to the
+house, tired and hungry; but Jim's old housekeeper is a pretty good cook
+for a native, and there is no better supper than trout that were in the
+water the same day.
+
+
+
+
+XXVI.
+
+AN INTRACTABLE PATIENT.
+
+
+When we were settled down to our pipes, I said, "Is this the way you
+treat the friends of your youth, when they entrust life and limb to your
+hospitality?"
+
+"I give 'em the best I've got: sorry if it doesn't suit. There's no
+Delmonico's round the corner, here. What's the matter with you, old
+man?"
+
+"O, it's not your housekeeping: that's all right. But why did you lead
+me such a dance, and get me lost in that unconscionable doghole of a
+wilderness?"
+
+"Did you ever take so many fish out of a brook in one day before? No, of
+course you didn't. Well, that's why. I told you it would be a rough
+expedition; but I thought you came here to rough it. You didn't expect
+balls and a casino, did you? You were here last May."
+
+"Last May I saw nothing as bad as this to-day. You haven't been playing
+it on me, I hope? Jim, have you got any grudge against me?"
+
+"What should I have? You're deucedly suspicious and sensitive--far more
+so than I was with you. I believe I let you play on me to your heart's
+content, and never complained--did I?"
+
+"Jim, I don't like this. There's a change in you: Hodge said so, and I
+didn't believe him. You're not the same man."
+
+"O, we all change--from year to year, and from day to day. But I ought
+never to have left these woods, Bob, and that's the truth. You should
+have let me stay here as I was."
+
+"I meant it in all kindness, for your good, Jim. Surely you'll do me the
+justice to acknowledge that."
+
+"No doubt. But your philanthropic experiments are apt to be damnably
+expensive to the patient."
+
+"You couldn't be much worse than you were, according to your own
+account. Any change ought to have been for the better."
+
+"That was your assumption. Do I strike you as being changed for the
+better?"
+
+"Well, no, you don't--not to put too fine a point upon it."
+
+He certainly does not. His whole manner is altered. His former
+gentleness has given way to rough harshness. You have seen how he treats
+me. It may be his best, as he says; if so, his best is far from good.
+His bitterness used to be, if I may say so, in the abstract, and leveled
+against abstractions; now it seems to have a painfully concrete
+character and aim. His estrangement from the scheme of things, or from
+his kind at least, was purely intellectual, leaving his heart no more
+affected than the heart usually is by brain-disorders; now it is moral.
+He is like a man tormented by remorse, or regrets as savage. But I think
+I know a cure for his complaint.
+
+After a pause he said, "I don't want to blame you, Bob, and I don't
+propose to whine. Nor was it any great matter what came to me, wherever
+it might come from. I thought I was done with the world, and had nothing
+to fear from it, except being bored and disgusted. There was only one
+thing I cared about, and that I supposed I could keep. I was mistaken.
+It was my little ewe lamb--all I had; and they took it from me."
+
+"I thought your live stock was confined to dogs, and a cow, and the
+tomcat--by the way, I don't see him any more. I didn't know you went
+into sheep. Was Tommy the ewe-lamb, and did the dogs play Nathan and
+David with him?"
+
+This I said, thinking to cheer him up a bit; but he only scowled.
+Really, I must remember Mabel's caution about telling the wrong stories
+and laughing in the wrong places. "Well, Jim, what was 'it' that you
+valued so, and who were 'they' who took it away?"
+
+"The prince of the power of the air; the spirit that walks in darkness,
+and rules in the children thereof. The beautiful order of things
+generally, and their incurable depravity. All these are one, and the
+name doesn't matter. If you urged me to it, I might say that you had
+played a very passable David to my Uriah."
+
+"Who--I? I'm not a sheep-stealer. What would I want to hurt you for?
+Jim, you're joking, and it's a joke of doubtful taste."
+
+"Do I look like it? _You_ might find a joke in this: you can find them
+everywhere. I can't."
+
+"As I told you, you take Life too seriously. If you will be more
+specific, and tell me what you have lost, perhaps I can help you to find
+it."
+
+"Some losses are irrecoverable. You'd better let it alone, Bob; you'd
+better have let me alone before, as I've said. You mean well enough; but
+it's ill meddling with another man's life. You don't know what
+responsibility you take, or what effect you may produce. I don't say
+that it's the worst of all possible worlds, but it is such that each of
+us had best go his own way, and keep clear of the others. When one
+forgets that safe rule, and mixes with his kind, only harm seems to come
+of it."
+
+"If that is so, I might better have staid at home now. Methinks your
+written hand is different from your spoken. I mean--"
+
+"O yes, when I write I try to come out of myself and be decently civil;
+and so I should to a chance visitor for five minutes, or an hour maybe.
+But I can't keep it up all day--not to say for a week. You'll have to
+see the facts, and bear with them. I don't want to be rough on you; but
+I'm not myself--or not what I was before, or supposed myself to be. It's
+all in the plan, no doubt; we are fulfilling the beneficent intentions
+of Nature. Perhaps I'm breaking down, and the end is not so far off as
+we thought. If so, so much the better: we'll escape that sad old age you
+prophesied."
+
+Now I am not lacking in humanity, but it does not afflict me as it did
+six months ago to hear Jim go on in this way. I know what is the matter
+with him now, and what he is driving at, though I must assume ignorance
+for a while yet. The patient must tell his symptoms, and then the doctor
+will give him the physic he needs, and proceed to make a new man of him.
+That is what I am after now, and the good work must not be spoiled by
+undue haste. So I put on a decorous air of sympathy, and said,
+
+"That's all bosh, you know. If anything is the matter with you
+physically, I ought to hear about it; but I don't believe there is. As
+for the mind, we are all subject to gloomy moods and periods of
+depression; but they pass, Jim--they pass. You believed in friendship
+before; hadn't you better tell me what you think ails you?"
+
+"I can't talk about it, except in this roundabout way: what's the use?
+Best keep to broad principles: the particular case only illustrates the
+general law. I knew it of old: what business had I to expose myself
+again? What would you do with a child who will keep on playing about
+moving cars, or mill machinery? Let him fall under the wheels, and rid
+the earth of an idiot."
+
+"O no: pull him out in time, and he'll learn better. Well, Jim, you
+might at least tell me what hand I had in this catastrophe."
+
+"O, none, none whatever: how should you? You never laid any plots for
+me, and used me for your mirth. You never devised an elaborately
+concealed ambush, and smoothed it over till I was in the snare. That
+would be foreign to your open and candid nature. It is very good fun to
+practice on unsuspecting innocence; but you are far above that."
+
+"See here, Hartman: you talk as if my house were a den of iniquity. If
+so, I was not aware of it till now. Your ill opinion has not thus far
+been reciprocated. We entertain none but kind feelings toward you: we
+all regretted your hasty departure. You were received as a friend, and
+treated as such, I believe. My wife and sister often speak of you: you
+could command their fullest sympathy in this, or any trouble, real or
+imaginary."
+
+"That I never doubted: I owe them nothing but pleasant memories, and
+thankful good will.--You need not stare at me so: I make no charges, and
+imply none.--Well, if you must have it, I can say that every member of
+your family has my absolute respect,--down to the twins; do you
+understand? If I have any grudge, it is toward you alone."
+
+It was plain that he forced himself to say this--or some of it--as if it
+were coming perilously near a name he could not utter. He is having his
+bad time now, as I had mine last week. It is his own fault: he has no
+need to be so censorious. He _had_ to say what he did, or there would be
+trouble: some things a man cannot stand, and my best friend would be my
+friend no longer, if he ventured to reflect upon the Princess.
+
+"I'm glad to hear you say so: the difficulty is simple then, and easily
+settled. You've got no pistols, of course, and I didn't bring mine. I'll
+take your rifle, and you can borrow Hodge's old shotgun: if it bursts,
+it won't be much loss--only you mustn't come too near me with it.
+There's no danger of interference from the police up here, I judge? But
+I say, what shall we do for a surgeon?"
+
+"There you go again, turning everything into a jest. Can you never be
+serious, man?"
+
+"Try to say something original, James: that is stale. Jane asks me that
+about six times a day, and Mabel frequently, and--and the others. I was
+serious with you just now, or nearly: had I been entirely so, I might
+have knocked the top of your head off, and then they would have blamed
+me at home. You see, they think you are more of a man than you show
+yourself. To be serious all the time is the most serious mistake one can
+make in life; and I want no worse example than you. When I go back to
+town I shall write the Decline and Fall of an Alleged Seeker after
+Truth, who missed it by taking things too seriously. You are too stiff
+and narrow and rigid and dogmatic: you take one point of view and stick
+to it like grim death. You can't get at Truth in that way."
+
+"I suppose you would stand on your head and look at it upside down, and
+then turn a back somersault and view it from between your legs."
+
+"You express it inelegantly, but you have caught the idea. Truth is not
+a half pound package done up in brown paper and permanently deposited in
+one corner of the pantry shelf; she is big and various and active. While
+you have your head fixed in the iron grip and are staring at the sign
+'Terms Cash,' she is off to the other side of the room--and you don't
+make a good picture at all in that constrained attitude. Your mind has
+got to be nimble and unbiassed if you want to overtake her, because she
+is always changing: that is, she appears in new and--to you--unexpected
+places. I gave you a hint of this in May, and another last summer, but
+you seem to have forgotten it. O, I could sit here all night and
+explain it to you, if you were in the right frame of mind."
+
+"No doubt: happily I am not. What has this to do with your defence of
+buffoonery, and apotheosis of clowns and pantomimes?"
+
+"A pantomime is a very good thing in its way. But that is your
+illustration; I would rather say opera bouffe, which is probably the
+truest copy of Life--if we were limited to one kind. But we are not: I
+tell you, we must have all sorts. There is tragedy in Life, and
+comedy--that more especially; a little of the other goes a long way. But
+they are always mixed--not kept apart, and one alone taken in large and
+frequent doses, after your fashion. Shakespeare understood his business
+pretty well; though, if I had been he, I would have put in more of those
+light and graceful touches which hit us where we live, and make the
+whole world kin."
+
+"Like the Dromios, or the Carriers in Henry Fourth."
+
+"Or the Gravediggers; they are more to your purpose. I want you to see
+that Humor is the general solvent and reconciler, the key that opens
+most locks: a feeling for it, well developed, would be money in your
+pocket. Things don't go to suit you, and you think your powers of the
+air are frowning, the universe a vault, and the canopy a funeral pall:
+perhaps the powers are only laughing at you, and want you to smile with
+them. If you could do that, it would let in light on your darkness. Any
+situation, properly viewed, has its amusing elements: if you ignore
+them, you fail to understand the whole. What did Heine say about his
+irregular Latin nouns? That his knowledge of them, in many a gloomy
+hour, supplied much inward consolation and delight. You ought to read
+him more, Jim."
+
+"And Josh Billings, and Bill Nye. Well, that's enough of your wisdom for
+to-night. We must arrange for to-morrow. Are you up to another
+scramble?"
+
+"Not like to-day's. Let's take in some decent scenery along with the
+trout."
+
+"There is a wild gorge ten miles off, with a brook in it. We can take
+Hodge's mare, put up at a house, and work down the ravine. It's not so
+bad as the last place, nor so good for fish." I agreed, and we went to
+bed.
+
+You may think I am humoring Hartman too much, and letting him shirk the
+subject. But I have a week--more if necessary--and I don't want to be
+too hard on him. He'll thaw out by degrees: so long as he doesn't blame
+Clarice, it is all right. He has got my idea about the way to discover
+Truth now, and it will work in his brain, and soften him. I know Jim: he
+never seems to take hold at first, but he comes round in time. You just
+wait, and you will see whether I know what I am about.
+
+
+
+
+XXVII.
+
+SCENERY IMPROVED.
+
+
+The next day we drove to a farmhouse which had annexed some rather
+decent fields for that region. On one side was tolerably level ground,
+on the other a cut between two savage mountains. Down this we made our
+way, taking presently the bed of a small brook: woodroad or footpath
+never can be there. For a while there was room to walk on dry land: soon
+the cliffs closed in upon us, on the right rising sheer, on the left
+sloping, but steeper than I would want to climb. At first the stream was
+very shallow and narrow, and the fish small and scarce; but think of the
+creatures that must come there to drink at night! It was the only
+watercourse for miles, Jim said. He pointed out the tracks of a bear or
+two, and he thought of a panther; but it is not here I should choose to
+hunt--your game might have you at a disadvantage. He tried to make me
+believe that even now some of these beasts might catch us; but that was
+simply to discourage me from going after them, later on: Jim does not
+like the chase. _My_ jokes are in better taste: as he is now, I believe
+the bears could beat him in manners. Near noon we found a place to sit
+down, where we could see a little of the crags, and proceeded to
+assimilate our frugal lunch.
+
+"Hartman," said I, "I should think you would want to live up to your
+scenery, as the ladies do to their blue china. Look at this majestic
+cliff, whose scarred and aged front, frowning upon these lonesome trout
+since the creation, has never been profaned by mortal foot."
+
+"Probably not. People very seldom come here, and when they do, they
+wouldn't be fools enough to try to climb up. They couldn't do it, and it
+wouldn't pay if they could."
+
+"Well, it is grand, anyway, and it ought to quicken your soul to grand
+thoughts. In such a scene you ought to feel stirring within you noble
+sympathies and resolves."
+
+"I can't see much grandeur in human nature, Bob, nor any in myself. If
+you had thought yourself a gentleman, and suddenly awaked to the fact
+that you were a cad and a scoundrel, you would be apt to change your
+tune, and drop the high notes."
+
+Oho, I thought, he is coming to the point. While I was meditating how to
+utilize this confidence, a small piece of rock fell from above upon the
+edge of my toes: if it had been a large piece, and fallen on my head,
+you would have missed this moral tale. When I had expressed my
+sentiments, he said, "I can't insure you against accidents,--any more
+than you did me. If I had brought you here in spring, you might growl.
+The rocks are loose then, and it is dangerous. A man was killed once
+just below here, and his body never found till the year after." This
+trivial occurrence seemed to turn his thoughts away from the important
+topic, and I could not get him back to it.
+
+It was a warm day for the season: once in a while it will be hotter in
+these sylvan solitudes than it is in New York. While we were in the
+brook we did not mind that, for we could drop every five minutes and
+drink. I suppose I consumed some nine gallons of _aqua pura_ during the
+morning: you can do this with impunity, because there is no ice in it,
+and the bacteria are of the most wholesome kind. But by and by we
+finished with the gorge: then we had to go across a sort of common, up
+hill. There was no water now, and it was hot. After more trees, and a
+steeper ascent, Jim said, "You'll get a view now." We came out on an
+open place, with steep rocks beneath. Before us lay a wilderness, with
+clearings here and there, and a background of mountains. The forests
+were in their early November bloom; the country looked one great flower.
+In the Alps or the Rockies they can give this odds, and beat it easily,
+but it was pretty well for eastern America--and an occasion to be
+improved. "Jim, if the crags don't appeal to you, this might. If you
+don't feel up to moral grandeur, why not go in for peace? Let your
+perturbed spirit catch the note of harmony from this landscape, and
+drink in purity from this air."
+
+"That is all very fine, and you would make a pretty fair exhorter--with
+practice. But natural theology is not in my line. These hills look
+nicely now, but it will be different within a month. If I am to learn
+peace from a fine day, what from a stormy one? Nature changes for the
+worse like us, and with less shame: she has no regrets for the past, no
+care to keep up appearances or make a show of consistency."
+
+"I fear you have been learning of Nature on her wrong side then. Half
+confidences are in bad taste, Jim. What is it you keep hinting at? It
+ought to be murder, from the airs you put on about it."
+
+"Leave that for to-night, when we have nothing better to attend to.
+There is another brook here we ought to try."
+
+
+
+
+XXVIII.
+
+DIPLOMACY.
+
+
+We got back reasonably early, much less tired than the day before. Now,
+I thought, for some progress. "Well, Jim, you wanted to unfold your tale
+to-night."
+
+"That is, you wanted to ask me about it. You can't do any good, and I
+don't find speech a safety-valve: but I suppose it is my duty to supply
+you with amusement. So get on, and say what is on your mind."
+
+He takes this tone to conceal his morbid yearning to ease his bosom of
+its perilous stuff: I will have his coil unwound pretty soon. If I were
+not here, he would probably be whispering her name under the solemn
+stars, and shouting it in tragic tones on the lonely mountain-top;
+sighing it under the waterfalls, and expecting the trout to echo it. He
+talks about fishing the home brook the first rainy day, but he must have
+scared all the fish away from there with his sentiment. I must remember
+to notice whether 'C. E.' is carved about the forest. He will pretend to
+hold back; but I will get it out of him.--I made this pause long enough
+to let him prepare for the examination on which depends his admission
+into the civil service, so to speak--he will have to be more civil and
+serviceable than hitherto if he is to pass it, and follow me back to
+town--and indeed his whole future.
+
+"You say you have lost something valuable. All you had, you said it was;
+but that is nonsense. You have health, and more money than you want, and
+brains and education, of which you are making very poor use, and
+friends, whom you are treating badly. I can't think what you have
+lost--unless it was your heart, perhaps." This I brought in in the way
+of afterthought, as if it had suddenly occurred to me. He started, but
+assumed a tone of cynical indifference.
+
+"My heart? Would I sit down and howl over that? What use have I for a
+heart, any more than for a poodle? And if I had one, what does it matter
+what may have become of it?"
+
+"Strayed or stolen, probably. Such things have happened, especially when
+persons of the opposite sex are about. They are apt to attach themselves
+to poodles, and vice versa. But if you give me your honor that a loss of
+heart is not the cause of these lamentations--"
+
+"Why will you press that point, Bob? What is done can't be undone, and
+what is broken can't be mended."
+
+"And what is crooked can't be made straight, and what is wanting can't
+be supplied; though these things are done every day and every hour. Why
+any able-bodied lady of my acquaintance, even those at my own house,
+limited as is their experience of the world's devious ways--Jane, I
+mean, or Mabel--could tell you how."
+
+"Robert, I am too old for these follies."
+
+"James, you are the youngest man I ever knew. Any boy of eighteen would
+be apt to know better how to manage such matters, and--if you will
+pardon the frankness you employ yourself--to exhibit more sense."
+
+He stared a little, and I gave him time to recover. Then he took up his
+parable, defensively falling back on the abstract, after his manner.
+
+"Of course I have thought of these things, Bob, and the philosophy of
+them, if they can be said to have any. They seem much like everything
+else. Taking Life in its unfinancial aspects, men do things, not because
+the particular things are worth doing, but as an apology for the
+unwarranted liberty they take in being alive. 'I am: why am I?' said the
+youth at prayer-meeting, and everybody gave it up. As an effort toward
+answering his own conundrum, he entered the ministry. Being alive, we
+have to make a pretense of doing something, which else might better
+remain undone. That is why books are written, and controversies waged;
+it explains most of our intellectual and moral activities. So with
+society: time must be killed, and we go out for an evening, though we
+are dreadfully bored and gain nothing at all. So, I suppose, with what
+is called love. The emotional part of our nature, which is the absurdest
+part of all, finds or fancies itself unemployed: a void craves and aches
+in the breast, and the man, as an old farmer once expressed it, is
+'kinder lovesick for suthin he ain't got and dunno what.' Almost any
+material of the other sex, if you allow a little for taste and
+temperament, will fill the void--in a way, and for a time at least.
+Darby marries Joan and is content, though any other woman would have
+served his turn as well. With us of the finer feelings and higher
+standards, the only difference is that we rant more and sophisticate
+more, as belongs to our wider range. No one ever felt thus
+before--because the feeling is new to us, and newer each time it comes:
+so Festus protests to each successive mistress, perjuring himself in all
+sincerity. Nor was any mistress ever so beautiful and divine as this
+one, appointed to possess and be adored by us. All that is purely a
+mental exercise: carry the illusion a little farther, and it might be
+practised as well on a milliner's lay-figure. 'He that loves a coral
+cheek or a ruby lip admires' is simply a red hot donkey, Bob. Nature
+provides the imbecile desire, Propinquity furnishes an object at random.
+Imagination does all the rest."
+
+"Just so, Jim. I am glad to find you again capable of such lucid and
+exhaustive analysis. But how about what is called _falling_ in love,
+when the wild ass has not been craving to have his void filled up at
+all, but is suddenly brought down unawares by an Amazonian arrow?"
+
+"He was no less a donkey that he didn't know it, and it only comes
+harder for him. The fool ought to have been better acquainted with his
+own interior condition; then he might have eased his descent to his
+royal thistle, secured his repast or gone without it, and got back to
+his stable with a whole skin. Otherwise it is just the same. The heart
+is an idiot baby, Robert: it feeds on pap and thinks it is guzzling
+nectar on Olympus."
+
+"Exactly, James; exactly. As you say, it is our fertile fancy that does
+it all. You and I can conjure up women far more charming than we ever
+met on brick or carpet. If we only had the raw material and knew how to
+work it up, we could beat these flesh and blood girls off the field
+before breakfast. Their merits and attractions are mainly such as we
+generously invest them with; and often they take a mean advantage of our
+kindness."
+
+I glanced at him sideways, and he flushed and winced. "I would not
+derogate from women, nor rate myself so high. I meant only that we
+imagine--well, monstrous heaps of nonsense. For instance, we often fancy
+that they care for us when they don't--and whose fault is that but ours?
+There's a deal of rot talked about lords of creation--when a man isn't
+able to be lord of himself. O, women are very well in their way: I've
+nothing against them. They are just as good as we--better, very likely;
+and wiser, for they don't idealize us as we do them."
+
+"Yes, but this idealizing faculty is a very useful one to have. I see
+you must have found a Blowsalinda on some of these hill farms:--why,
+man, you're as red as her father's beets. I congratulate you, Jim: I do,
+heartily. As you say, the tender passion is merely a spark struck by the
+flint of Opportunity on the steel of Desire; and for the rest, you can
+enrich her practical native virtues with the golden hues of your
+imagination. She'll suit you just as well as any of these proud cityfied
+damsels--after you've sent her a term or two to boarding school; and
+she'll be more content to stay up here than the city girl would."
+
+I paused to view my work, and was satisfied. The shadows of wrath and
+disgust were chasing each other over my friend's intelligent
+countenance. You see, I get so browbeaten at home that I must avenge
+myself on somebody now and then; and of course, it has to be a man. And
+then it is all for Jim's good, and he deserves all he is getting. So I
+went on.
+
+"But seeing this is so, Jim, you ought to be content; and what means all
+your wild talk of last night and this morning, as if you had something
+on your conscience? You haven't--you wouldn't--No, you're not that kind
+of a man. Well then, what in thunder have you been making all this fuss
+about, and pitching into me for?"
+
+He suppressed something with a gulp: I think it was not an expression of
+gratitude or affection. "Confound you, Bob; one never knows how to take
+you. In the name of Satan and all the devils, what are you after now?"
+
+"I'm not after anything in the name of the gentlemen you mention; they
+are no friends of mine, nor objects of my regard. Put a better name on
+it, and I'm after getting you to say what you mean, as we agreed--though
+it seems to be hard work. Who's playing tricks upon travellers, and
+misleading a confiding friend now? I never knew such a man for beating
+about the bush, and talking nonsense." (I remembered this apothegm of
+Jane's, which sounded well, and fitted in nicely just here.)
+
+He appeared to take himself to pieces, shake them well, and put them
+together carefully, before he spoke. "Perhaps my language was obscure,
+or even enigmatical; but I thought you might understand. Forgive me if I
+have been harsh, Bob, not to say uncivil: I have gone through a good
+deal, until I hardly know myself. It is base enough for a man to be thus
+at the mercy of mere externals--and I used to think I could practice the
+Stoic doctrine! But to be human is to be a pitiable, and, if you like, a
+despicable creature. I knew a case that may serve in a way to
+explain--not to justify--my treatment of you. Say it was years ago; the
+man met, in a friend's house, a lady who showed him the utmost kindness.
+She was used to all deference, till she and every one regarded it as her
+right--as it was. And he--it's not pleasant to tell--he ended by
+insulting her. I always understood how that fellow never could bear to
+mention her name, nor to hear it; how any reminder of her, or contact
+with the friends through whom he met her, would upset him. He would get
+confused, and some of his self-reproaches would fall on the wrong heads.
+I suppose you never knew how that could be, Bob."
+
+"I never was in exactly such a scrape as that; but I've been near enough
+to imagine, and make allowances. Your friend must have thought a good
+deal of the lady, in spite of his insulting her. He apologized, of
+course?"
+
+"Certainly, and then took himself off, and kept out of her way ever
+after. It was all he could do."
+
+"Just how did he insult her? It could hardly have been intentional."
+
+"O no. He had had misfortunes, or something of the kind, and she took a
+humane interest in him--tried to help him, no doubt. Women often do such
+things, I believe; it is very creditable to them, but liable to be
+dangerous in a case like this, for men are sometimes fools enough to
+misinterpret it. Well, this particular beast took it into his wooden
+head that she cared for him--in a personal way, you know; and--you
+wouldn't think a man could be such an infernal ape, would you?--he told
+her so."
+
+"He planned beforehand to tell her so--thought that was the right card
+to play, the proper way of wooing?"
+
+"You make him worse than he was. It came out unawares--he was surprised
+into it. The conversation took a certain turn, and he misunderstood for
+a moment. That was all, and it was quite enough."
+
+"What did the lady do then?"
+
+"She was naturally and properly indignant and contemptuous; made him see
+his place. He took it, and took his departure."
+
+"Did it never enter your friend's wise head that he might have
+mismanaged the affair in some other way than the one you mention; for
+instance, in going off so speedily?"
+
+"No other course was possible. Enough of this, Bob: he bore the penalty
+of his offence."
+
+"Excuse me: it's a curious case, and as a student of human nature I like
+to study such, and master all the facts. You say it never occurred to
+him that the worst part of his offence might be his levanting in such
+haste? that it might have been a more appropriate act of penitence to
+wait a day, or five minutes, and give the lady a chance to forgive him?"
+
+"How can you make such low suggestions? The man was not a scoundrel at
+heart: at least he had always passed for a gentleman before, and thought
+himself such."
+
+"For one who goes about insulting ladies, he was a singularly modest
+youth. So he never thought afterwards that there might have been a basis
+of fact for the fancy that made the trouble?"
+
+"Drop the subject, will you? I brought it in merely as an illustration,
+that you might see how a man can be affected--even his character
+changed--by the recollection of such a blunder. It would destroy his
+self-respect."
+
+"Naturally. But self-respect is too good a thing to lose forever, and
+this illustration of yours may serve to pass the time till you are ready
+to talk of your own affairs, which you say it somehow illustrates. Did
+your friend never think that the girl might have led him on, either
+seriously or for mere amusement? If she did, that would be some excuse
+for him."
+
+"I tell you he was not that kind of a blackguard. All sorts of thoughts
+will offer themselves to a man in such a state of mind, I suppose; but
+he knew her too well to admit any that lowered her. O no, he saw the
+fault was all his. At the moment he was bewildered, and could not
+realize the sudden change, nor what he had done; so his apology (if I
+remember that part of his story) may have been inadequate in manner,
+however suitable in words. Apart from that, which could not be mended
+afterwards, he did all he possibly could."
+
+"I beg to differ, Jim. I think this fellow did much worse than you seem
+to realize. Stare as much as you like: if he is still a friend of yours,
+I am sorry for him, as for one who has committed a most outrageous
+blunder and a nearly unpardonable wrong. What right had he to think of
+himself alone? You say the girl had shown goodness of heart, and a real
+interest in him? Then suppose the interest went no further than he
+thought: what business had he to burden her mind with a broken
+friendship and the feeling that she had helped to spoil his life? Or
+suppose the interest in him did go further. What do you and he know
+about a woman's feelings?"
+
+He was pale now, and wild in the eyes. "Your last supposition is
+impossible. For the other--you may possibly be right. He never thought
+she would care--or that he could do anything but what he did."
+
+"A nice lot he is then. If I were you, I would write to him to-morrow
+and give him a lecture--supposing they are both alive and free. And if
+this affair was anyway parallel to your own, of which you won't talk, I
+hope it may be a lesson to you--a warning, if you need one. Do you
+suppose women, of the high-minded and superior sort, have no hearts, no
+consciences, no sense of the duties of humanity? They have a blanked
+sight more than you and your friend seem to have, I can tell you. You'd
+better sleep on this, and wake with some enlarged ideas. As you decline
+to tell me anything of yourself, and so I can't help you there, I'm
+going to bed."
+
+
+
+
+XXIX.
+
+SUBMISSION.
+
+
+Next day Jim was haggard and restless, and wanted to potter about the
+house. I took him to the largest stream in those parts, when our rods
+came in play; and there he did some of the worst fishing I ever
+saw--worse than I did in May, when I had him on my mind. He has himself
+on his mind now, and some one else too. He kept trying to talk, which is
+impossible when you are wading. After he had lost a two-pounder and
+fallen into a deep hole, I got out on the bank to avoid a place where
+the water went down hill too fast--something between rapids and a
+cascade. He came and sat on a log by me, looking disconsolate.
+
+"Jim," I said, "You're pretty wet. Perhaps you'd better go home and
+write that letter."
+
+"I don't see my way yet. How can you be so positive?"
+
+"Because I've heard the story before, and know more about it than you
+do. I had a friend who was there at the time too. O, it caused some
+talk, I can tell you. Did your hero suppose it would interest nobody but
+himself?"
+
+"Yes, as I told you. Good heavens! You don't mean--"
+
+"O, no public talk; only the family, and people who knew the facts and
+could be trusted. They were all sorry for him too; they thought he was
+such an ass. You see a performance like his can't end where it begins;
+it has consequences."
+
+"You say, 'for him too.' They couldn't be sorry for the lady--why should
+they?"
+
+"You are pigheaded, Jim. What did I tell you last night? This thing put
+its mark on her, in a way no man has a right to mark a woman without
+her consent. See that trout jump, in the pool down yonder? I must get
+him."
+
+"Wait a moment. What I told you about could not have been known unless
+the lady told it; and she was not of that sort. I don't understand."
+
+"Decidedly you don't. I can't waste a day like this on second-hand
+gossip, Jim; as you said yesterday, the evening is the time for talk.
+You go home and change your clothes and rest your brain. I know my way
+here, and I want to fill my basket. I'll get back in time for supper.
+Here, you can take these."
+
+And so I sent him off. He is biddable and humble now, and will be more
+so presently; in a kind of transition state, he is. He came back in the
+afternoon, and sat on the bank while I pulled out the biggest fish yet.
+I carried home the best basket we've had; not so many specimens, but far
+finer ones, than from that Devil's Brook in the Land Accursed. In
+fishing, as in other things, a good deal depends on your state of mind.
+
+That evening I dressed for dinner, as far as I could, like a gentleman;
+not that any visitors were likely to drop in, but I thought it due to
+the occasion. Jim, having plenty of leisure at command, and noting my
+manoeuvres, did the same. He ate little, but I paid due attention to the
+trout and claret, and took my time to it; though we do not have a lot of
+courses and ceremony at meals up here, nor are such necessary. Then we
+settled ourselves in easy chairs before the great fireplace, where pine
+logs were roaring: the nights are cold now, and this is one comfort of
+these out-of-the-way places, where fuel is plenty.
+
+As soon as he had a chance, he began. "There is some mystery about this,
+Bob. You wouldn't answer my question this morning."
+
+"Now that I have dined, James, I'll answer any questions you
+like--provided they are such as may fitly be put to the father of a
+family. So fire away."
+
+"First then, how do you come to know so much about this?"
+
+"Because I was there. O, not eavesdropping, not as a spy--that is out of
+my line; but purely, and luckily as it proves, by accident." And I told
+him all about it. I will not say that his jaw dropped, but his facial
+apparatus elongated.
+
+"Then Cl--she knows that you know?"
+
+"Not a word. What do you take me for? How could I tell her?"
+
+"But--the others know?"
+
+"Certainly not. You have the most extraordinary notions, Hartman. It was
+her secret, not theirs. If you had been in my place, perhaps you would
+have written to the papers, or told the story at family prayers. Can't
+you see that it was impossible for me to let her know till I had had it
+out with you?"
+
+"And you have stood by me, knowing all this--you are still my friend?"
+
+"Well, if I had had merely myself to consider, my natural loathing and
+contempt for the beast, ape, idiot and scoundrel who was capable of such
+conduct might have led me to extremities. O, I endorse all the
+compliments you have paid yourself. But there is my interesting family;
+the twins have quite a regard for you, and Herbert. And so has my wife;
+she doesn't know you as well as I do. And my sister--a superior person,
+though too soft-hearted, whom I cherish with a deep fraternal
+affection--she has been besieging me with intercessions, and melting my
+obduracy with her tears; and that for one who has made all this coil,
+and whose qualities have been too well enumerated by himself."
+
+"I will try to be more deserving of her kindness, Bob: I told you she
+was the right sort. But you said just now they did not know."
+
+"Only by surmise, and inference from your hasty departure, and
+from--subsequent developments. Women are not wholly fools, Jim: they are
+just as good as we; perhaps better, and sometimes wiser. O, they are
+very well in their way. Let us bear with them, James, and allow for
+their redeeming traits."
+
+"Don't hit a man with his own words when he is down, Bob. But--there is
+Another, whom you've not mentioned."
+
+"So there is: you didn't mention her, either. Come to think of it, there
+is another member of my household, whom we have overlooked in this
+discussion, yet to whom I owe some sort of consideration."
+
+"Of course I know who is first with you: I am content to come in a bad
+second. You haven't--I suppose--any word--from Her?"
+
+"What do you take her for? Ladies can't do that sort of thing. See here,
+Hartman, don't get on that line again. She is used to due respect."
+
+His face fell. "I know: I mean nothing else. What have you to say to me
+then?"
+
+"Say? Haven't I said enough? Confound you, it's your turn to say things
+now."
+
+"I thought I had said a good deal. O, I am ready to make my submission,
+if it will do any good. Imagine the rest, can't you? Don't be playing
+your games on me now, Bob."
+
+There was a tone of pathos in this: I took a good look at him, and saw
+that he was doing the contrite as well as I could expect. He will do it
+better without a middleman when he gets the chance; he'll hardly lapse
+into the other style again soon. All I have to do is to secure her
+position meanwhile.
+
+"Well, what comes next? I believe I am on the witness-stand now."
+
+"Tell me about Her, Bob."
+
+"She is changed. Of old, one never knew what to expect of her. Now she
+is different. No stale customs about her, my boy."
+
+"'Nor custom stale her infinite variety,' I suppose you mean. Yes, so I
+found--but that was my own fault. Some might prefer your version. But
+you don't imply--"
+
+"No, I don't. You must find out for yourself about that. I thought you
+knew that she is chary of her confidences, and that none of us is given
+to seeking them. She has mentioned your name once in all this time, and
+then to say that you and I were great clumsy things--which is true;
+measurably of me, of you most eminently."
+
+"What chance is there for me then?" He was discouraged again. Jim is so
+foolish; he gets exalted and depressed on the slightest provocation.
+Perhaps I was like that once, but it was long ago.
+
+"Well, she knows I am here; do you suppose I would have come if she
+objected? Make what you can out of that.--You needn't make too much of
+it either: go slow, now. You see she doesn't like to be thwarted in her
+benevolent plans; and you were a wild man, to be reclaimed and
+civilized. Instead of submitting like a decent savage, you broke loose
+all at once, and left her to feel that she had done you harm instead of
+good. You are the only fellow who ever gave her any trouble: I can't see
+how you had the cheek to do it. Why, man, you have got to learn manners
+if you want to associate with that kind. She could do better than you
+any day; but a wilful woman must have her way, and a gentleman usually
+lets her have it.--Now there you go again. I didn't say what her way
+might be in this case, did I? How should I know what she wants of you?
+Probably just to smooth you down, and be friends, and see you behave.
+The other supposition, as you said last night, is too wildly impossible.
+You ought to be glad to meet her on any terms she may choose to make,
+and thankful and proud to undergo any penance of her imposing, after
+your conduct, and the annoyance it has caused her and all of us. Most
+women, in her place, would let you stay in the woods and eat your heart
+out. Perhaps she will yet; you needn't look so pleased. All I know is
+that you owe her reparation. You ought to go on your knees from here to
+the avenue, even if you have to come back on foot."
+
+"You have gained in insight since August, Bob. You express my views with
+accuracy--though one can hardly talk of these matters to another man. I
+always honored you for holding Her in such esteem. But practically, what
+am I to do?"
+
+"That is not easy to say, James: it can hardly be plain sailing. If
+women were not more forgiving than we, bless their little hearts, you
+would have no chance to do anything. And the finer grain they are of,
+the more embarrassing it becomes; with her sort it is peculiarly
+difficult. I know, from long and trying experience; I have to mind my
+p's and q's, I tell you. If you had taken up with one of these farmers'
+daughters, as you nearly led me to believe last night--there's nothing
+to get mad about--it would have been much simpler and easier for you. If
+it were that other man, I should say to him, Write to the lady, if you
+think that safe: I don't advise it. But if you had a friend who knew her
+well, and was a person of capacity and resource and great tact and
+approved discretion, and willing to employ all these qualities in your
+service--"
+
+"O, I'll leave the affair in your hands: I don't see what else I can do.
+I'm everlastingly obliged to you, of course."
+
+"Yes, I should think you would be; a nice mess you'd make of it by
+yourself. You have no idea how this thing has weighed on my mind ever
+since you left us at Newport; nor how awkward it is, even for me, to
+approach a girl of her sensitive pride and highminded delicacy on such a
+subject. But I'm ready to go on suffering in your cause, James, even if
+it be for years."
+
+"I hope it won't take as long as that. Hurry it up, old man, now you've
+got a start. Don't let the injury to Her and the weight on my conscience
+go on accumulating. What you do, do quickly."
+
+"So you'd like me to rush off to-morrow? There's gratitude. No, sir; I
+must think the matter over, and I may have to consult you about details.
+Besides, they are all exercised about my health, and expect me to make
+my week out. Your case is not a strong one, James; all depends on the
+way it is put. I will not ruin it by indecent pressure or undue haste.
+Leave it to me, and let sweet sleep revisit the weary head whence she
+has fled so long. In simpler language, keep still and do as I tell you,
+and don't bother."
+
+I took pen and ink to my room, and indited a home epistle. It informed
+Mabel that I was progressing toward recovery, and expected to ship some
+large trout, carefully packed in ice; also that she was a true prophet,
+and the other business in hand was moving just as she had foretold. I
+enclosed a brief note to Clarice, which said simply, "O. K. Ever thine,"
+and signed it with my initials and Jim's: and a cartoon for Jane, which
+I sat up late to design and execute. It represented a small lover,
+transfixed with a large arrow, prostrating himself before a Haughty
+Damsel of High Degree. This work of art, with the subjoined effusions,
+will keep up their spirits till I get home.
+
+
+
+
+XXX.
+
+WASTED ADVICE.
+
+
+I will not tell you what more we did that week, nor how many wagonloads
+of big game we bagged when we sallied forth with guns to make war upon
+the monarchs of the forest: perhaps their hides and horns are on view in
+my library, and perhaps not. Nor will you expect any more scenery of me,
+seeing how I have groaned and sweated to produce the pen-pictures you
+have already enjoyed: I don't desire to advertise Jim's retreat too
+much, and spoil its seclusion. He was impatient and restive, but feeling
+much better than when I came, and ready to do anything I wished--of
+course. But he wanted to talk all the time, and ask questions: he kept
+me busy pacifying him, till I was tired. Rational conversation on
+serious subjects is good, but to be thus forever harping on small
+personal feelings and relations makes one realize that Silence is
+Golden. Clarice never acts in that way: I wish Jim would have some
+occasional flashes of taciturnity, like Macaulay.
+
+The day before I left, while we were burying a calf I had shot by
+mistake, he said, "Bob, do you remember my asking you once, in a purely
+suppositious way, what you would do if I were to quarrel with--Her?"
+
+"O yes. But the farmer that owned this late lamented beast ought to be
+paid for it."
+
+"Never mind that. I'll attend to it after you're gone, and save your
+feelings. Well, you said you'd stand by both of us."
+
+"Hang my feelings: do you suppose I expend feelings on a misguided
+heifer? It got in the bushes where you said I might look for a deer, and
+here's a ten on account; you can write me if it costs more. My
+sympathies, James, are reserved for nobler animals when they make worse
+mistakes."
+
+"Yes, as I have proved. You've kept your word; but you were pretty rough
+on me."
+
+"Your conduct was pretty rough on all of us. I had to open your eyes;
+and I don't want you to try those tricks again. If you do, I may have to
+shoot you by mistake."
+
+"You would have been welcome to shoot me last week. Why did you leave me
+so long in the dark, Bob?"
+
+"O, the deuce! Were explanations due from our side? It's true you need
+somebody to take care of you; but, you see, I have others to look after,
+and so can't devote myself exclusively to you: you'd better get a
+keeper. It was Jane who urged my coming up here. I always meant to, but
+I couldn't till Clarice suggested it."
+
+"She suggested it, did she? You never told me that before."
+
+"I ought not to have told you now, if it makes you fly off the handle in
+this way. She merely said to Mabel, no doubt in all sincerity, that I
+looked badly and needed a change; she said nothing about my coming here.
+She has a regard for me; whether you are anybody in her eyes remains to
+be seen. Don't jump to conclusions, now. The Princess is not a person to
+take liberties with, as I've learned by repeated lessons."
+
+"I know it, Bob: one lesson is enough for me. I suppose it would hardly
+do for me to go back with you?"
+
+"Hardly. Personally I should be delighted, and so would some others;
+but--you know as well as I do. I have got to feel somebody's pulse, and
+proceed very gingerly. Possess your soul in what patience you can till
+you hear from me. See here, Hartman; with your views, and your
+well-grounded aversion to domestic and even social life, a little of
+this sort of thing ought to go a long way. I should think you'd be
+unwilling to risk contact with the world again. A child that will play
+about the cars, you know, after it's once been run over--"
+
+"O, but you have opened my eyes to a sacred duty. Honor is above
+self-preservation. I want to purge my conscience, you see."
+
+"Then do that and pause there. It was your vaulting ambition which
+overleaped all bounds before. If you get into another row, you may have
+to stay in it. I have full power of attorney, you say; well, I may have
+to make all sorts of promises for you before I can get you leave to
+return to duty, and you'll be expected to keep them. You don't know how
+difficult that will be for your unbridled inexperience; you'll be
+cabined, cribbed, confined within the dull limits of Propriety. It would
+be much better for you to be content with a correspondence, if you can
+get as far as that. You could expound your penitence and changed views
+by mail, and have time to think what you were saying, and get it in
+shape; whereas, if you plunge into the cold and heartless world again,
+you'll probably get into more trouble, and I can't come up here to set
+you straight again--not before next May. You were right, James: there is
+nothing in common between you and the world. Why expose yourself to its
+temptations, its dangers, its hollow and soul-wearying forms? This
+atmosphere is so much purer; there is less of Vanity and Woe up here.
+Stay where you are well off. Clarice can write a pretty good letter when
+she chooses; I'll try to fix it that way for you." But he would not
+accept this reasonable view, and insisted on my getting permission for
+him to come down before Christmas, and as much sooner as possible.
+
+So nobody but he could drive me to the cars; he filled the fifteen miles
+with charges and reminders. As the train moved off, he was waving his
+hat, his face radiant with hope and pathetic with confidence. He looks
+ten years younger than he did last week. A pretty fellow he is to call
+himself a Pessimist.
+
+
+
+
+XXXI.
+
+RESULTS REPORTED.
+
+
+I reached home in the early evening. The servant told me at the door
+that Mrs. T. was in attendance on Master Herbert, who had fallen over
+the banisters and injured his nasal organ. I rushed upstairs: Mabel met
+me with no demonstrations of grief or anxiety. "I see by your face that
+it is all right--as I always said it would be. Go to Clarice; she is in
+the library. O, Herbert? He fell on his nose, of course; he always does.
+It is not at all serious. The dear child has been feeling better since
+we heard from you, and taking more exercise. Clarice has the first right
+to your news."
+
+I found her, and dropped on my knees. She looked at me, not so sweetly
+as of late. "Get up, Robert, I thought I had cured you of your bad habit
+of untimely jesting."
+
+"You have. I realize the solemnity of the occasion, if you do not. My
+name is James--no, that's not it. I am a representative, an envoy. You
+see before you a banished man who has justly incurred his sovereign's
+displeasure, and has repented day and night. This posture, perhaps
+unseemly in the father of a family, expresses the other fellow's state
+of mind. He's afraid to come himself, and so he sent me."
+
+She looked at me again, and saw that I was serious. You see, these
+delicate matters have to be managed delicately. I can't do the
+unmitigated tragedy business as well as Hartman might, and yet I had to
+meet the requirements of the situation, and the Princess' expectations,
+which are always high. People who have their own affairs of this kind to
+conduct might sometimes avoid painful failures by taking a leaf out of
+my book, and mixing the difficult passages with a little--a very
+little--chastened and judicious humor; then they would avoid overdoing
+it, and sending the lady off disgusted.
+
+"Does he take all the blame?"
+
+"Absolutely: he did from the first moment. He can't come here to say so
+till he's allowed, and he can't get up till you give him a token of
+forgiveness."
+
+She gave it: it was inexpensive to her, and soothing to the penitent--or
+would have been if he had been there to get it in person. I took it
+simply on his account.
+
+"Keep still now, and let me think."
+
+I kept still. The attitude of prayer, while well suited to the lighter
+forms of ladies, is inconvenient to a man of my size, and deeply
+distressing when I am obliged to maintain it for more than five minutes;
+for that reason I don't go to church as much as I might. But I had to
+keep quiet while she did her thinking. May it be recorded to my credit!
+I would bear a good deal for Clarice, and sometimes I have to.
+
+At last she finished her cogitations. "O, get up, Robert; I forgot. What
+else have you to tell me? But don't you want some supper?"
+
+I was as hungry as a bison, but that was a secondary consideration.
+
+"The supper can wait while I have your work to do. I'll tell you
+anything you care to know: he wants to have no secrets from you. But it
+has all been graphically summed up already. A famous orator of old told
+a young fellow who went to him to learn how to speak a piece, 'Act it.'
+That's what I've been doing the last half hour: I didn't think it would
+take so long."
+
+I rubbed my knees, which were still sore: the library carpet is
+reasonably thick, but it was not built for devotional uses, "I suppose
+Hartman would be glad to stay down there all night if he had the chance.
+But he'd be awkward about it--infernally awkward. You see, he has had no
+practice in this kind of thing; he doesn't know your ways as I do. I
+wonder if you will ever get him into as good training as you have me."
+
+I put in this light badinage to relieve any embarrassment she might
+feel--not that she could show any such if she tried, but for what you
+and I know even she might feel it--and to let her get used to the
+situation. But she did not seem to care for it. "That's enough for now,
+Robert. Go and get your supper." She said this in a weary tone. My heart
+sank.
+
+"Princess dear, have I offended you? I meant it all right. Have I done
+anything wrong, and made a mess of this as usual?"
+
+She gave me her hand. "O no, Bob. But go now. I'll talk more to you
+to-morrow."
+
+Now I thought I had done this up in the most superior style, and that
+she would be pleased for once. But the ways of women are past man's
+understanding.
+
+Jane awaited me in the dining-room with viands and an anxious brow, and
+would scarcely let me appease the cravings of exhausted nature. She sent
+the servant out, and ministered to my wants herself.
+
+"Brother, you look downcast. Have you returned with empty hands?"
+
+"I have brought some of the finest trout you ever saw--not in mere size
+perhaps, but in flavor, colors, and gaminess. You didn't expect me to
+carry 'em on a string over my shoulder, did you? And I would have
+brought some venison, but you don't care for it. You told me once that
+their eyes were so pretty and plaintive, it was a shame to kill them. I
+always try to please you, so I thought I would let them live.--Yes,
+thank you, I have brought back more health than I took away: I may be
+able now to stand the fatigues of business till Thanksgiving.--O,
+Hartman? I couldn't bring him along, you know: where is your sense of
+propriety? I advised him to stay up there where he is safe, and not
+tempt the shafts and arrows any more. What, I 'haven't done anything
+then, after all?' O, haven't I! Jane, you are worse than a serpent's
+tooth: if Lear had been in my place, he would have talked about a
+thankless sister. It has been a weary, toilsome, painful task, and few
+men could have carried it through to so happy an end. And when I come
+back hungering for sympathy--I told you what my nature was--you meet me
+with cold words and suspicious looks. It is enough to make one weep, and
+long for the silent grave. If it were Hartman, you would do the weeping,
+no doubt. Yet that man, whom you thus unnaturally set above your
+brother--you have no idea of his harshness, his violence, his embittered
+prejudice and obstinacy; nor of the patience and gentleness and
+persuasive force with which I expelled the demons that possessed him,
+and brought him to his right mind. O, he has had an overhauling; he will
+take care how he does it again. But he is all right now."
+
+"I wonder at that, after his being in your hands for a week. Your tender
+mercies were cruel, I fear. What does Clarice say to this? Is she
+satisfied?"
+
+"She ought to be, but she says nothing at all; couldn't take in the
+magnitude of my news at once, most likely. Yet I took pains to break it
+to her delicately, and with light touches of humor, to relieve any
+strain there might be."
+
+"Yes, soothed her nerves as with a nutmeg-grater, no doubt. You will
+serenade her next with tin pans and fish-horns, and think that a
+delicate attention. Brother, Clarice does not share your peculiar view
+of humor, nor do I. Mabel tries to comprehend it and to catch your tone,
+as is her melancholy duty; but it is hard work for her. Well, what does
+Mr. Hartman say?--Don't tell me anything that is private, or belongs to
+Clarice alone."
+
+"O, you may hear most of it. He says all sorts of things--anything you
+like. You see he can't be trusted, or trust himself, any longer, so I
+have full power to represent him."
+
+"That is definite, and convenient for you, whatever it may be to others.
+Of course a man will promise anything when he has an object to gain. I
+suppose you left him in the depths of despair and on a pinnacle of
+ecstasy at once."
+
+"That is about it. Let us be thankful that you and I are well beyond
+these follies.--My dear, I wasn't alluding to your age; upon my honor
+I wasn't. I only meant that your elevation of mind and dignity of
+character lift you far above such idiotic transports, and give you a
+right to despise weak creatures like Jim, and in some degree even
+myself. No man is worthy of you, Jane: you know you never would look at
+any of them. What did I tell you about your looks? Except Clarice, and
+perhaps I ought to say Mabel, and a few on the cars, you are by far the
+handsomest woman I've seen since I left home."
+
+"After your week among the belles of Wayback, that compliment seems
+strained. O, I see: Clarice was not in the right mood just now, and your
+tide of geniality rolled back upon itself, so that it has to break loose
+on some one else: or you are to see her again to-morrow, and must
+practice smooth things meantime to say then.--Ah, it is both, is it?"
+
+"Sister, you are an external conscience--except that you won't approve
+when I have done the right thing, and done it well. You would be
+invaluable to Jim. I doubt whether he and Clarice will get on; and he
+thinks a heap of you. If he don't suit her on further inspection, or
+makes any more blunders, you might take him in hand and make a man of
+him."
+
+"So as to keep him in reach as material for you? Robert, if you want me
+to comfort you when Clarice is gone, you will have to make your light
+humor much lighter yet, and let me select subjects for its exercise."
+
+"Now, now--do you think I would offer you secondhand goods? If I had
+known him then as I do to-day, I would have let her go off in June as
+she proposed, and fixed it the other way. It would have saved no end of
+bother."
+
+"And deprived you of a source of huge amusement, and an unprecedented
+field for the display of your peculiar talents. Do you think men and
+women are mere puppets for you to play with? You would make but a poor
+tenth-rate Providence--though you may have succeeded in this case. Tell
+me how you did it."
+
+"I showed him that he was all wrong. He knew that already, but thought
+she didn't care. I told him she did."
+
+"Robert! You have not betrayed her? Is this your diplomacy?"
+
+"Of course not: how you talk, Jane. I said her interest in him was
+philanthropic, and he had behaved with brutal ingratitude--like a
+charity patient in the hospital, or a bad boy at Sunday School; so he
+ought to yearn to come back--if she will kindly allow--and give her a
+chance to go on reforming him or not, just as she pleases. I admitted
+the purely speculative possibility that it might be otherwise--of a more
+personal and commonplace description--just to encourage him a little;
+but as he had said at the start that this chance was practically
+nonexistent, I let him think so and dwelt on the other view, which was
+new to him, and impressive. O, I preserved her dignity; that was the
+first necessity. If he is cherishing any hopes of the vulgar, everyday
+sort, he did not get them from me."
+
+"And did he believe all that? If so, I must have been mistaken in the
+man."
+
+"He had to believe it. It was the simple truth: I merely arranged the
+colors properly on his mental canvas. He thinks I am Solon and
+Rhadamanthus and Nehemiah in one. How would you have done it perhaps,
+when you had to hook your fish without letting him get the bait--induce
+him to commit himself, and yet not commit her at all?"
+
+"I don't know, brother. You could not have thrown her on his generosity,
+of course; she would have killed herself and him and all of us, rather
+than take happiness at such a price--and I can't blame her. Yet she
+despises a subterfuge. I would not tell her the details if I were you;
+she will not ask for them, nor want to hear them. It is a queer world:
+when such things have to be done--sacrificing your best friend to insure
+his welfare, deceiving him in the interest of one who abhors
+deception--your eccentricities may be of more use than I had hitherto
+supposed possible."
+
+I pretended to be deeply pained at this; but in my heart I knew it was
+high praise, coming from Jane. She is not like Clarice; she asked all
+manner of questions, and kept me answering them three mortal hours.
+Fortunately Mabel has less curiosity, or I should not have got much
+sleep that night, after all my ill-appreciated labors. But I don't
+regret what I did for Hartman; _he_ believes what you tell him.
+
+
+
+
+XXXII.
+
+CONFESSION.
+
+
+Clarice was not at breakfast next day; but as I was going out, she met
+me in the hall. "Robert, can you come back at four?"
+
+"At any hour you wish, Princess; or I will stay now."
+
+"No, that will be early enough. I will be in the library."
+
+Now that is Clarice all over: she is herself again. No eagerness, no
+petty curiosity, but a grand indifference, a statuesque calm, a
+goddess-like withdrawal from the affairs and atmosphere of common
+mortals. Indeed it is not she who will ask for details that any other
+woman would burn to know: a single question as to the vital point, and
+then "what else have you to tell me?" The rest might keep a day, a week,
+a month. Her taste was always for large outlines, her mind has breadth
+and grasp and comprehension; when she seemed to care for little things,
+she was at play. In a matter like this, her secret thoughts are the main
+element; what others may think or say or do need be noticed only as
+contributing material for them to work with. What has vexed her all this
+time has been that the sacrilege of events had put one factor in the
+problem out of reach, beyond her control: she has been used to having
+all she wanted of the earth, and deigning to want but little of it and
+to value that little but lightly. Now that she cares for something at
+last, and it is at her call again, she will weigh and measure the
+situation, and all its aspects and possibilities, in the silent council
+chamber of her soul, and the decision will go forth before any one
+ventures to ask what it may be. Stay in your cave, hermit of Wayback,
+and say your _Ave Clarissa_ as patiently as you can: when the edict
+calls you to court, your part will be cast for you, and you will have
+nothing to do but say the lines. If you break bounds again and stray
+from your proper posture before the throne, or put in any more of your
+irreverent gags, I am done with you.
+
+I have wrought your will, my Princess, and brought back your pretty toy,
+for you to mend or break: you hardly mean to break it. Yet it is a pity
+to see you descend to common uses, to ordering a house and taking care
+of poor old Jim; you were born to shine apart in solitary state, and
+have men gaze at you wistfully from far below. No man can rate more
+highly than I the domestic relations, affections, virtues; but I don't
+like to see you put yourself in the category of mere human beings, as if
+marriage and a man were good enough for you. You will have your way, now
+as always, and use me at your will: it is you who have the ordering of
+this funeral, not I.
+
+As she did not seem to like my style last night, I had better be sober
+and plain this afternoon; sort of Quaker thee and thou, without artistic
+embellishments. Yes, by Jove, I'll have to be, for there's the guilty
+secret to be unloaded. There is no excuse for keeping it to myself any
+longer, now Jim has it; sooner or later she must know that I've known
+all along what was not meant for me, and it may as well be done now,
+whatever the result. It will not please her, but I can't help that. I
+will not break my word and keep a thing from her, except as there is
+reason; to tell it can do no great harm now, unless to me--and that is a
+minor matter.
+
+At the hour appointed I was on deck: no one ever interrupts the
+Princess, and we were undisturbed. "Robert, I had better hear your
+report. Cut it short, please; give me a condensed outline merely."
+
+What did I tell you? This was said with an air as if she were
+discharging an unwelcome duty, so that I might not feel neglected. She
+evidently resents the impertinence of circumstances in forcing her to
+allow me to have a hand in her private matters: it will be as much as I
+can expect if she forgives me for meddling. Obeying orders, I endeavored
+to be brief and business-like.
+
+"He has had a bad time of it, Clarice. He was a changed man when I got
+there--rough and morose and unmanageable; kept hinting at some
+mysterious crime he had committed. It was a day or two before I could
+bring him to book, by methods on which I need not dwell. Detective work
+is not a nice business; the means has to take its justification from the
+end. He made his confession as if it were another's; said how superior
+you were, and how basely he had repaid your condescension. He thought
+that ended the affair, except for his lifelong remorse; hoped he might
+die soon; impossible to be forgiven, or regarded by you in any light but
+that of a loathsome object--regular stage part, you know, but perfectly
+sincere: if you like innocence, he can supply a first-class article. I
+put a head on him by saying his behavior had been much more flagrant
+than he realized, and the worst part of it was interfering with your
+plans and going off in such a hurry; that ladies like to be consulted in
+such cases, and sometimes to administer divine forgiveness, or at least
+punish the transgressor in their own way, and not leave it all to
+him.--You need not look at me like that, Princess. I know nothing of
+your feelings, and told him so. Of course I maintained your dignity:
+what else was I there for? And so, to do him justice, did he, as far as
+he knows how. He is just where you like to have them--or would if you
+cared enough about them. After I had enlightened him as to his duty, it
+was all simple. I gave him just sufficient hope--of pardon, I mean--to
+keep him alive, and turn his despair to active penitence. The game is
+entirely in your hands now. He was on fire to come back with me, or to
+write at once. I said he must take no more liberties, but wait for
+permission. If I may venture a suggestion, you might let me tell him to
+write you; then you can graciously allow him to come when you are ready
+for him."
+
+That I may call a succinct and lucid narrative. She listened to it with
+clear eyes like Portia, as if she were a judge and had to hear such
+cases every day. Now for questions: I bet odds there will not be more
+than three, and those straight to the heart of my discourse--nothing
+irrelevant, or secondary, or sentimental.
+
+"Did he say what had been his offence?"
+
+"Presumption. He insulted you--though of course he didn't mean to--and
+you very properly resented it and withered him with contempt. He never
+understood, till I made him see it, that what he did next was worse than
+this, as emphasizing the wrong and making it--for a while--irrevocable."
+
+Her eyes were like judgment lightnings now, that might burn through the
+darkness and bring out all hidden things. Luckily I had nothing to hide;
+or rather I was about to make a clean breast of it.
+
+"How were you able to speak so positively?"
+
+"That is what he asked me, and therein lay such power as I had to master
+him; at least it was the chief weapon in my arsenal. I answer you as I
+answered him: By knowing more about the matter than he did. Princess, I
+have deceived you all along, and broken my promise to tell you
+everything. I saw and overheard the quarrel." And then I told her all
+about it.
+
+She looked at me silently, with an expression I never saw before. I
+turned away, as one turns from the sun in his strength. I was sitting on
+a stool beside her, and I suppose my head went down. Suddenly a hand was
+on my forehead, pushing it back. "Robert, look at me. What was your
+motive in keeping this from me?"
+
+"O, the motives were mixed; they always are. There was my dread of
+offending you; that was selfish. And more than that, I did not want to
+hurt you, if it could be avoided. And most, I was not willing to
+complicate the trouble, and all but certainly make it worse. It seemed
+to me that you would be shocked, and disgusted, and enraged to know that
+a third person had intruded on so private a scene, and surprised a
+secret that belonged to you. Don't fancy that I was blaming you; that
+was my rough guess at how any woman would feel, most of all you: perhaps
+I was wrong. I thought that for you to know might widen the breach, and
+destroy all chance of reconciliation. I had to think of him, as well as
+of you. Not as well, no; not as much--you know that; but of him too. I
+could not tell you till I had told him, and made the matter right--if
+you will have it so. You will not let it turn you against him now--this
+fact that I was there? It was not his fault: it was an accident, and I
+am the only one to blame. I did the best I could, after such lights as I
+had."
+
+Still the great eyes kept burning into mine; but they did not hurt so
+much as I had expected. "Did you tell Mabel and Jane of this?"
+
+"How could I? It was your secret. What do you take me for, Clarice? I
+never breathed a word of it, of course, until I had it out with Jim a
+week ago, and brought him to his senses: after that I thought you ought
+to know. Mabel and Jane never dreamed that I knew anything beyond what
+little you might have told me, or let me see."
+
+Her arms were round my neck now. There was a minute or two of silence: I
+really did not know what to say next. Then she looked up, tears in her
+eyes, a tone I never could describe in her voice.
+
+"And you have done all this for me, Robert!"
+
+I made a feeble attempt to unloose her hands and draw myself up. "Don't
+talk that way, Clarice; it hurts me. You make too much of this; it was a
+matter of course, and there is nothing new in it. I thought you knew I
+was always ready to do anything I could for you: that is an old story,
+as you used to say."
+
+The effort at dignity was not successful, for her head drooped again.
+Soon she raised it, a smile chasing the tears away.
+
+"You can triumph over Jane now. She used to say you never could keep a
+secret. Did you enjoy keeping this one, Bob?"
+
+"Not exactly. I will keep some more if you insist on it, but it would be
+more enjoyable if they were of another sort. No more like this, if it is
+the same to you."
+
+"You said you used this as a weapon to master him with. Why didn't you
+use it on me? It might have been good for me to be mastered and
+overruled."
+
+I had to laugh now. "Jim can try that by and by--if he dares. Other men
+may overrule other women, perhaps; I know my place too well. Clarice, it
+is not like you to talk nonsense. If I could have consulted you about
+this--how to keep the secret, and what to do with it--it would have made
+things easier for me, but unhappily that was not feasible. You don't
+mean it would have done good instead of harm if I had told you earlier?"
+
+"I doubt it. No, you were right. Brother, there is so much more of you
+than any of us thought!"
+
+"So Hartman has found. But I don't want to be unduly exalted. Love is
+better than pride, and this trouble of yours has brought us all closer
+together, I believe. There is only one thing to be done yet."
+
+"No; two at least. Robert, you deserve to know everything. I will tell
+you what we were talking about that wretched day, so that you may see
+what excuse there was for him, and how wrong I was. And then you can
+tell Jane and Mabel."
+
+"I don't want to know, my dear, nor is there any need to tell them
+anything. None of us desire to pry into your affairs, but only to see
+them set right. It was plain that something led up to poor Jim's
+blunder, and that is enough. You can tell Mabel and Jane what you like
+before he comes back,--though they won't ask it.--I will overrule you
+for once, as you insist. You want to put a force upon yourself for my
+sake, and I will not have it; not another word of that. But--and in this
+case I am not overruling, but only suggesting--Jim is waiting all this
+time. May I tell him that he can write to you?"
+
+"Not just yet. You have opened my eyes as well as his, Bob; you've
+revealed so many masculine virtues that I must take them in by degrees.
+You've been keeping yourself in the background and putting him forward,
+as if I could be interested in one person only. Now let him wait a day
+or two, while I think about you."
+
+There may have been more of these exchanges, which I do not care to
+repeat. What goes on in the domestic circle is essentially of a private
+nature, too intimate and sacred to be whispered into the general ear.
+There are persons who will violate these holy confidences, and tell you
+what he said and she said when the doors were shut. I am not like them.
+If I appear at times to break my own rule and treat you as a member of
+the household, it is merely for your improvement, that you may see (as I
+told Jim last summer) how things are arranged in a christian family: and
+especially that, when any trouble of this kind invades your own humble
+roof, you may know how to slay the lion and extract strength and
+sweetness from his carcass, as I have done. Should these pages instruct
+but a single brother, whether by nature or adoption, how to unwind his
+sister's tangled affairs and bring them to a prosperous conclusion, I
+shall not have penned them in vain.
+
+
+
+
+XXXIII.
+
+A FAMILY CONCLAVE.
+
+
+I had written to Hartman more than once since my return, telling him to
+keep up his spirits and bide his time. Before long came the permission
+to open a correspondence with a more important person than I. What he
+wrote I know not; he is probably able to do that well enough, whatever
+blunders he may commit when face to face. I have reason to believe his
+outpouring was answered, with excessive brevity but to the purpose, in
+the one word, 'Come.' In fact, the Princess declined (and very properly)
+to expend a postage-stamp on him, or to gratify him with an envelope of
+her own inditing, but told me to enclose this minute but inflammatory
+document in non-explosive wrappings of my own.
+
+He was to arrive on a certain day in late November. The evening
+previous, as we were sitting together, Clarice--who generally prefers
+her own society, and I can't blame her--appeared, in our midst (if that
+expression is allowable), with an aspect of grim determination. I rose
+to give her a chair in the corner, but she sat down where she could see
+us and we could look at her. We did so, anxiously expectant, for this
+was a most unusual proceeding; and I inwardly resolved to make it easier
+for her than she meant to have it. She began with the air of an orator
+who reluctantly emerges from seclusion at his country's call,
+constrained to deliver matter of pith and moment.
+
+"It is no news that you all have shown me kindness such as passes all
+acknowledgment--"
+
+She was not allowed to proceed without hindrance. Jane put forth an
+interrupting hand, which the speaker seized and imprisoned in her own:
+not that Clarice's is bigger than Jane's, but it possesses some muscular
+force. Mabel opened her lips, and one of us--I will not say which--was
+obliged to remind her that Miss Elliston had the floor.
+
+"It is not in me to be demonstrative, and I have seemed cold and
+thankless--"
+
+"We knew you better than that, dear," came from both.
+
+"--But I knew, I felt it all. Never did a girl without natural
+protectors--"
+
+"But you can have a natural protector whenever you like," cried Mabel.
+"You might have had any number of them, for years past."
+
+"Well, with or without, no girl ever had, or could have had, more
+faithful affection and delicate consideration shown her than I. I have
+given you a great deal of trouble, and you never complained. I have come
+between you and friends--"
+
+"My dear," Mabel interposed again, "that is all right. Our friends will
+come back." And she nodded and looked like a female Solomon, while Jane
+whispered something and put her disengaged arm around the orator.
+
+"Don't interrupt me any more, please. You know it is not easy for me to
+talk of these matters--"
+
+"That is so," said I. "It is rarely we get a speech from Clarice on any
+subject. Do keep quiet, all of you, and let the poor girl go on."
+
+"But now I must tell you something you have no idea of."
+
+Here the female portion of the audience pricked up their ears, and I
+began to be nervous. "It is about Mr. Hartman's going away in August.
+That was all my fault."
+
+"Don't you believe her," said I. "He says it was all his fault."
+
+"Do be quiet, Robert. He is coming to-morrow, and justice must be done
+him. I treated him very badly, and--"
+
+"She didn't," said I. "Clarice, we don't want to be dragged into all
+your private squabbles, but if you will tell this disreputable story you
+have got to tell it straight. Jim says you merely showed a proper
+spirit, and so you did."
+
+"Why, what do you know about it, Robert?" cried Mabel and Jane together.
+
+"He was there, hidden in the bushes, like a villain in a cloak and
+slouched hat."
+
+Here came a chorus of exclamations and reproaches, till one of us had to
+say, "You may as well give it up, Clarice. These women will never let
+you go on; they don't know how to listen. If you were talking only to
+me, now--"
+
+"Jane, you can never twit him again with not being able to keep a
+secret; he kept this one sacredly for three months."
+
+"Of course he did," said Mabel: "I always knew it."
+
+"Why, Robert, you told me--," Clarice exclaimed, and "O no, you didn't,
+my dear," some one else put in, while Jane looked triumphant.
+
+"No, I didn't know this secret, of course," Mabel admitted: "I only
+meant that I always knew Robert could keep a secret, if it were of very
+extraordinary importance, and if he were certain it would ruin
+everything to let it out. Poor Robert, what a hard time you have had!"
+
+"But how did he come to overhear your conversation?" said Jane. "What
+business had he there?"
+
+"It was all through his pipe. Mabel, you must never object to his pipe
+again."
+
+"There now, Mabel," remarked another of the company, "you wouldn't
+believe that the pipe was good for my health, and now you see it has
+preserved the whole family."
+
+"I don't see that," said the troublesome Jane: "what was the use of your
+being there intermeddling?"
+
+"Jane," said one severely, "if you will be still, you will probably
+learn. How can you expect to hear anything when you keep on interrupting
+Clarice like this?"
+
+"I am coming to that now, Jane. What he thus saw and heard he most
+patiently, and heroically, and from the noblest motives--"
+
+"Excuse me, ladies," said I. "My pipe is not handy, but I must go out
+and smoke a cigar. I want to see a man--"
+
+"Let the man smoke the cigar, and that will provide for both of them.
+You will sit down, Robert, and hear me out; I am not to be overruled
+this time."
+
+"It would give me the greatest pleasure to hear you out, my dear, but
+you know your health is delicate, and you are not accustomed to public
+speaking. This is the longest oration you ever made: Jane's constant
+interruptions are trying, and you must be fatigued. If I were you, I
+would rest now, and finish this up to-morrow."
+
+"Now isn't that exactly like him?" cried the irrepressible Jane. "He is
+afraid of your exposures, as well he may be. Go on, Clarice, and tell us
+what other iniquities he has committed, besides deceiving Mabel and me
+about this, while he was questioning us all the time, and pretending to
+impart all he knew."
+
+"He deceived me too. Yes, you may well stare; he kept this absolutely to
+himself, till he could use it for his own deep purposes; and"--she
+blushed a little--"that is why things are as they are."
+
+I saw she wanted to be helped out, so I said.
+
+"Yes, that is the cause of this thusness. You see, Mabel, what great
+results may spring from a little pipe. Jane, you will have to admit
+that I am the guardian angel and protecting genius of you all."
+
+"Well, Clarice," said Jane, "I will own that my estimate of his talents
+has risen lately; but then my confidence in his moral character has
+fallen in the same degree. He does tell such dreadful falsehoods."
+
+"It is not quite as if he told them for love of them, simply for the
+pleasure he takes in falsehood itself. You must allow for his motives."
+
+"Yes," said Mabel, "his motives are always excellent, whatever his words
+and actions may be. You remember the man in the Bible, who was delivered
+to Satan for his soul's sake; and I have heard Robert himself say that
+in ascending a mountain you often have to go down hill."
+
+"She means," I explained, "that on the rare occasions when I employ
+fiction, I do it purely in the interests of Truth. That goddess is
+imperfectly provided with garments--excuse me for stating so scandalous
+a fact, but it is so. Now this might have been well enough in Eden
+before the fall, but it will not do now; so we have to make the poor
+creature presentable, and pay her milliner's bills, which are often
+high. It would have been far more congenial to my candid nature to tell
+you all at once what I saw and heard that day in August; but such a
+course might have been attended with unpleasant consequences. If you
+will all forgive me, I will try not to do it again."
+
+"I do not see my way to forgive you, brother," said Jane with a judicial
+air, "unless Clarice does; and that appears doubtful. I will be guided
+entirely by her."
+
+"I have managed my own affairs so well without help, that you will
+naturally all wish to be guided by me. It is a good deal for me to do;
+but since Robert's misconduct has done no great harm, and rather than
+come between brother and sister, I will--yes, I will forgive him." She
+rose majestically, signed to me to do the same, and gave me both hands,
+with the air of a sovereign conferring knighthood; we made an impressive
+tableau. "And since you are all so quiet at last, I may finish my
+speech, and state the reason for this act of leniency. As Mr. Hartman's
+conversion is to be completed this time without fail, it is plainly
+necessary that he should find us a united family."
+
+
+
+
+XXXIV.
+
+TO PERSONS ABOUT TO MARRY.
+
+
+I would have liked to celebrate Jim's arrival by sundry pleasant and
+appropriate remarks; but impressive warnings and entreaties had reached
+me privately from three distinct quarters, urging me to efface myself on
+this occasion, and keep in the background. I complied with these
+suggestions, and there were no tumultuous rejoicings over the returning
+prodigal. Mabel and Jane greeted him with unobtrusive warmth: Clarice
+was rather stately and very calm; to look at her, you would have thought
+this was an ordinary call. When they talk about my duplicity, they mean
+that they want a monopoly of the article themselves. The visitor flushed
+and trembled like a boy, till I felt sorry for him, and would have
+offered him something to drink if they had given me a chance. Women are
+so queer about such matters: instead of letting the poor man go off with
+me, they pretended not to notice his confusion, and talked about the
+weather and mountains and trout, as if he wanted to discuss such
+frivolities. This soon got to be a bore, and I went to the new
+smoking-room, inviting him to follow when he needed rational
+conversation. He did not come at all, and I found afterwards that my
+wife and sister had gone away presently, and left him alone with
+Clarice--and they such sticklers for Propriety.
+
+I expected to have some fun watching this tender pair; but I was
+disappointed. There never is anything sensational to see when the
+Princess is in action: she carries an atmosphere of quietness about with
+her, and imposes it on those who come within her circle. Hartman broke
+rules and bounds once last summer, but he seems unlikely to do it again.
+The rest of us kept out of the way as much we could, and gave them
+scope. I said to Jane that we ought to get up a torchlight procession,
+or a big dinner, or something, in Jim's honor, but she scornfully told
+me to wait at least till the engagement was announced. When he was with
+me--which was little, for his time seemed to be much occupied, and his
+weakness for tobacco nearly cured--he once or twice attempted some
+drivel about disinterested friendship and undying gratitude; but I
+stopped that. If there be one thing for which I profess no sympathy, it
+is puling sentiment. He apparently did not care to discuss the progress
+of his affair, which was a relief; it is a dreadful nuisance to have to
+listen to lovers' talk, and I had enough of that at Wayback, when I
+could not help myself. At our time of life a man ought to be occupied
+with serious pursuits. But Jim is as if he had been asleep in a cave for
+ten years, and waked up with his beard well grown and a large stock of
+emotional aptitudes abnormally developed. I suppose Clarice likes this
+kind of thing, but I wonder at her taste.
+
+They had been at it a week or so when I stumbled upon them unawares one
+day in the library. I tried to retreat, but they both called to me to
+stop.
+
+"Robert," said she, "we have quarrelled again. That is, he has."
+
+"Yes, Bob," said Jim, "and you'll have to straighten it out for us as
+you did before."
+
+"This is too much," said I. "You had better take the next train for
+home, and by next May my health will need another change and I'll come
+up and attend to your case."
+
+"This needs to be settled right away. Clarice wants to go to the woods
+and live there the year round, and I can't permit such a sacrifice."
+
+"Robert, he wants to live in the world like other people, just for my
+sake, and I can't permit such a sacrifice either."
+
+"You must both prepare to be sacrificed, my lambs. Each of you will have
+to bear and forbear, and get used to the other's repulsive selfishness
+and hidebound eccentricities, to forego the sweet privacy and freedom of
+self-indulgence which have marked your innocent lives hitherto. When the
+glamour of young romance has faded, when the bloom is rubbed off the
+peach and the juice is crushed out of the strawberry, there will remain
+only the hard reality of daily duty, which is continual self-immolation.
+You are wise to commence practising this virtue at once."
+
+"You must instruct us how to do it, Bob. It would be as you say, no
+doubt--with her--if she had to live at Wayback as she proposes. You have
+been there enough to know that it is no place for her; tell her so. She
+has confidence in you, and she won't believe me."
+
+"It would be as you say, Robert--with him--if he had to live among the
+constraints and shams which his soul abhors. You know it, and you have
+great influence over him. Tell him so."
+
+"You are both right, and it is clear there is no place where you can
+live--together. James, she is a fragile flower; transplanted to your
+sterile soil, she would soon wither and drop from the stalk. Clarice, he
+is fastidious, critical, and intense; made a part of the things he
+despises, the torturing contact with pomps and vanities would soon
+strike his knell. My little dears, your paths were never meant to
+unite, and the best thing you can do is to part in peace. James, this is
+all imagination, and you know it; a milliner's lay-figure, or that rural
+nymph at Wayback, would do just as well, and be much less exacting and
+expensive. Clarice, you are pushing philanthropy too far: the
+picturesqueness of this hermit, and his alleged romantic woes, have
+misled you as to the nature of your interest in him. I don't think
+matrimony would suit you at all: you had much better stay with us, whom
+you can leave whenever you please. You could not do that so easily with
+a husband, and you don't like divorce. My children, pause: you will soon
+have had enough of each other, and then you can go your several ways in
+peace."
+
+"See here, old man; it is too late for this kind of wisdom, after all
+the pains you have taken to bring us together when we were parted
+indeed. You ought to be proud of your work, and ready to give us your
+blessing."
+
+"Don't mind Robert, James. You must take him as you find him, and it
+encourages him to go on if you seem to pay attention. All you need is to
+give him time--generally a great deal of it, to be sure. When you have
+known him twenty years or so as I have, you will understand that he
+usually has some tolerably good sense at the bottom of his mind,
+underneath a mountain of foolishness; he would say it is like the beer
+after he has blown the froth off.--Get to the sense as soon as you can,
+dear, for we can't well wait more than a month or two for it: we have to
+make our plans."
+
+"I was going to say that you had better leave the engagement unlimited
+as to time and say nothing about it, for then you can get tired of one
+another at leisure, and part without embarrassment. But if you are in
+such indecent haste, and seriously bent on ruin, I will assist you over
+the precipice as gently as may be. You will have to compromise, and
+humor each other a little. Go abroad for awhile, or to Florida or the
+Pacific, till you feel less exclusive; then come back to us. The house
+is big enough, and you can make your winter home here: we can't let you
+have her on any other terms, Jim. You can enlarge your place when the
+weather opens, and put in the spring and fall there: some of us will
+come up, or I will anyway, after trout. Perhaps I'll bring Jane: she
+wanted to catch some. It would not be safe for Herbert; he is too fond
+of bears. If you find the whole summer there too much bliss, as you
+will, you can divide with us at Newport. That is fair to all parties,
+isn't it?"
+
+"It will do nicely, for a rough sketch at least, and give us time to
+think. But there is a more serious difficulty, as you will see. Robert,
+he wants to give up his well-considered principles of so many years, and
+just for me--however he may deny it. Now I say he was mainly right. Take
+Life in the large view, and it is not a grand or beautiful thing. Have
+we any right to overlook the misery of millions, because a few of us
+like each other and are outwardly comfortable? I will not have him do so
+weak a thing as change his standards from no better reason than--well,
+that you went up to him for the fall fishing."
+
+"My dear Clarice, if you set up as a Pessimist apostle, you will convert
+all the town, and that will never do.--You hear her, Jim? A wise man
+sometimes has to take his sentiments from a wiser woman. But seriously,
+I am ashamed of you. Having used your eyes and brains long ago and
+received a true impression, what right have you to cast it away, and be
+misled by a narrow prejudice in behalf of Life--or of some particular
+section of it? If he that loves a coral cheek and a ruby lip is but a
+redhot donkey, what shall we say of him who makes these his weatherguage
+to test the universe by?"
+
+"Well, Bob, perhaps I have received a new impression, which is truer
+than the other--and deeper. As you told me last summer, a world with
+Clarice in it is quite different from a world without her. Princess--if
+I may use his term--Bob thinks a good deal of you too; at least he used
+to. You entered into his scheme of things as well as mine. Such is his
+duplicity, perhaps you never suspected the fact."
+
+"That is strange, when he has taken such pains to get me off his hands.
+I could hardly believe it of you, Robert, on any less authority; it was
+an unworthy weakness, in such a philosopher. But really now, are you
+going to uphold him in this--against me?"
+
+"Far from it: you will make him think what you please--only your own
+opinion on this point, though so strongly held and stated, is somewhat
+recent. Let us have a middle ground to start from, on which all parties
+can meet, as in the other case. When things go to suit us, let us call
+it a good world: when they don't, of course it is a bad one. O, we can
+consider the suffering millions too; but then we ourselves are somebody,
+and have our own point of view. So when you two look at each other, and
+contemplate your own bliss, you will be optimists; and when you read the
+suicides in the papers, and think of the Siberian exiles and my labors
+in Water Street, it will be the other way. Why, I am often a pessimist
+in the morning, and the reverse at night. It depends on the impression
+you receive, as Jim says; and there are a good many impressions, and not
+all alike. Often you can be betwixt and between. Let us fix it that way:
+I am sure that ought to suit anybody."
+
+Jim agreed that it would do very well, but Clarice seemed undecided. "It
+seems so frivolous to look at Life in this easy way, just because
+we--well, are not unhappy, and not without friends. You never do
+yourself justice, Robert--or very rarely. If we have been favored
+beyond others, we ought to be earnest and serious."
+
+"My dear, Time will check your frivolity, and mitigate the morbid
+bitterness of Jim's gloomy contempt of life--or vice versa. If I have
+got you mixed up, I beg pardon: you have changed positions so, it
+confuses me. But as we are to be earnest and serious, we should seek to
+communicate our happiness to others. Hadn't I better call them in?"
+
+The lovers consented, and I called. Mabel and Jane came with eager
+smiles and effusive congratulations. It is curious, the stress which the
+feminine intellect lays on a mere point of time, or external event, like
+the celebration of a union between two young people, or the first
+statement that such a union is to be formed; whereas we all know that
+the real event is mental, or at most resides in the clash and
+concurrence of two minds, assisted by the bodies they inhabit. Our
+friends had probably come to a sufficient understanding the night of
+Jim's arrival, a week ago: in fact the thing was practically settled
+when I brought back his submission, and even he must have had sense
+enough to know it was when she wrote him that one word, 'Come.' So what
+on earth is the use of making a fuss about it now? But I will not press
+this view, which may be too rarefied and lofty for the vulgar mind.
+
+There were kisses, and laughter, and tears I believe--but not of the
+Princess' shedding--just as if something had really happened. I was
+sorry for Jim, he looked so sheepish. Then he, or Clarice, or both of
+them, to cover the awkwardness of the moment, began to extol my virtues
+and services--in which there was no sense at all; for suppose you have
+done a good thing, you don't want to be everlastingly cackling about it:
+the thing is done, let it stand on its own merits or demerits. To stop
+this, I proposed a division of the honors. "There is Herbert, who is
+unhappily in bed now: he set the ball rolling. He was the only one of
+us all who dared ask Clarice what she had done to you, Jim. And here is
+Clarice herself, who discovered that my health was failing and needed
+the air that blows over troutbrooks; give her a benefit. And here is
+Jane, who urged me on--drove me, I may say. But for her, I might never
+have had courage to beard you two dreadful people, and ask you what you
+meant by such conduct."
+
+Jane was receiving due attention, when Mabel spoke. "You must not
+overlook me, as if I had had no hand in it. I approved and encouraged it
+from the start: you know I did. And when you went away, Mr. Hartman, and
+they all felt so badly and thought you would never come back, I always
+said it would be right--always."
+
+THE END.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Pessimist, by Robert Timsol
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+    <title>
+      The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Pessimist; in Theory and Practice, by Robert Timsol
+    </title>
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+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Pessimist, by Robert Timsol
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: A Pessimist
+       In Theory and Practice
+
+Author: Robert Timsol
+
+Release Date: October 9, 2008 [EBook #26847]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A PESSIMIST ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Colin Bell, Brett Fishburne and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<h1>A PESSIMIST;</h1>
+<h4>IN</h4>
+<h3>THEORY AND PRACTICE</h3>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<h5>BY</h5>
+
+<h3>ROBERT TIMSOL.</h3>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<h3>NEW YORK:</h3>
+<h3>JOHN B. ALDEN, PUBLISHER.</h3>
+<h3>1888.</h3>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<h5>Copyright, 1888,<br />
+BY<br />
+THE PROVIDENT BOOK COMPANY.</h5>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<h3>CONTENTS.</h3>
+
+<table summary="Contents">
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Wisdom_in_the_Woods">I.</a></td><td><a href="#Wisdom_in_the_Woods">Wisdom in the Woods.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_7">7</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Worse_Yet">II.</a></td><td><a href="#Worse_Yet">Worse Yet.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_17">17</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Complications">III.</a></td><td><a href="#Complications">Complications.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_24">24</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#A_Wilful_Princess">IV.</a></td><td><a href="#A_Wilful_Princess">A Wilful Princess.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_28">28</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Consultation">V.</a></td><td><a href="#Consultation">Consultation.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_37">37</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Preparation">VI.</a></td><td><a href="#Preparation">Preparation.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_44">44</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Initiation">VII.</a></td><td><a href="#Initiation">Initiation.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_47">47</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Introduction">VIII.</a></td><td><a href="#Introduction">Introduction.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_52">52</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#At_Newport">IX.</a></td><td><a href="#At_Newport">At Newport.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_55">55</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#On_the_Cliffs">X.</a></td><td><a href="#On_the_Cliffs">On the Cliffs.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_58">58</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Explanations">XI.</a></td><td><a href="#Explanations">Explanations.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_63">63</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Awakening">XII.</a></td><td><a href="#Awakening">Awakening.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_71">71</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Domestic_Criticisms">XIII.</a></td><td><a href="#Domestic_Criticisms">Domestic Criticisms.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_75">75</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Over_two_Cigars">XIV.</a></td><td><a href="#Over_two_Cigars">Over two Cigars.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_79">79</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#The_Catastrophe">XV.</a></td><td><a href="#The_Catastrophe">The Catastrophe.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_83">83</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Feminine_Counsels">XVI.</a></td><td><a href="#Feminine_Counsels">Feminine Councils.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_87">87</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Consolation">XVII.</a></td><td><a href="#Consolation">Consolation.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_91">91</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Against_Earnestness">XVIII.</a></td><td><a href="#Against_Earnestness">Against Earnestness.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_99">99</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Conspiracy">XIX.</a></td><td><a href="#Conspiracy">Conspiracy.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_102">102</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Apology_for_Lying">XX.</a></td><td><a href="#Apology_for_Lying">Apology for Lying.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_108">108</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Jane_to_the_Rescue">XXI.</a></td><td><a href="#Jane_to_the_Rescue">Jane to the Rescue.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_118">118</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#An_Ordeal">XXII.</a></td><td><a href="#An_Ordeal">An Ordeal.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_125">125</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Plan_of_Campaign">XXIII.</a></td><td><a href="#Plan_of_Campaign">Plan of Campaign.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_132">132</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#To_Wayback_again">XXIV.</a></td><td><a href="#To_Wayback_again">To Wayback again.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_139">139</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#A_Wild_Brook">XXV.</a></td><td><a href="#A_Wild_Brook">A Wild Brook.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_145">145</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#An_Intractable_Patient">XXVI.</a></td><td><a href="#An_Intractable_Patient">An Intractable Patient.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_149">149</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Scenery_Improved">XXVII.</a></td><td><a href="#Scenery_Improved">Scenery Improved.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_156">156</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Diplomacy">XXVIII.</a></td><td><a href="#Diplomacy">Diplomacy.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_159">159</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Submission">XXIX.</a></td><td><a href="#Submission">Submission.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_168">168</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Wasted_Advice">XXX.</a></td><td><a href="#Wasted_Advice">Wasted Advice.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_175">175</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Results_Reported">XXXI.</a></td><td><a href="#Results_Reported">Results Reported.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_178">178</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#Confession">XXXII.</a></td><td><a href="#Confession">Confession.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_185">185</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#A_Family_Conclave">XXXIII.</a></td><td><a href="#A_Family_Conclave">A Family Conclave.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_192">192</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='right'><a href="#To_Persons_About_to_Marry">XXXIV.</a></td><td><a href="#To_Persons_About_to_Marry">To Persons About to Marry.</a></td>
+<td class="tocpg"><a href="#Page_197">197</a></td></tr>
+</table>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span></p>
+
+<h1>A PESSIMIST.</h1>
+
+<h3><a name="Wisdom_in_the_Woods" id="Wisdom_in_the_Woods"></a>I.</h3>
+
+<h4>WISDOM IN THE WOODS.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">I had</span> seen and heard little of Hartman
+since our college days. There he was counted
+a youth of eminent promise: after that I
+knew that he had traveled, written something
+or other, and practised law&mdash;or professed it, and
+not too eagerly: then he had disappeared.
+Last May I stumbled on him in a secluded
+region where I had gone to fish and rest,
+after a year of too close attention to business.
+We came face to face in the woods, stared
+at each other, and then our hands met
+in the old grip. He took me home with
+him, to a comfortable enough bachelor establishment,
+and we made a night&mdash;or more than
+an evening&mdash;of it. He did not seem curious,
+but I was.</p>
+
+<p>"What have you been doing with yourself!"
+I began; "withdrawing from the
+world?"</p>
+
+<p>"To some extent," he said. "You can't do
+that entirely, you know. The world is in you
+as well as around you, unluckily. It is too
+much with us, as the poet observed. Do you
+remember the time you had in class over that
+sonnet?"</p>
+
+<p>"Pass that," I said. "I've given up
+poetry." ("I should have thought that impossible,"
+he put in, in his nasty nagging fashion;
+but I took no notice.) "Where have you
+been all the time?"</p>
+
+<p>"Here, mostly. It's not much of a place,
+but that is its merit."</p>
+
+<p>He was getting too deep now, as he often
+did of old; so I <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'said.' with a period">said,</ins> "But it's so far away."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span>
+"That's its other merit. You always had
+a direct and ingenuous mind, Bob. Here
+you've hit both bull's-eyes in two shots."</p>
+
+<p>"None of your chaff," said I. "Who do
+you practice your wits on, up here?"</p>
+
+<p>"My dogs. And there are some hens in
+the neighborhood, and a few small farmers.
+Or if my bosom cries too loudly to be eased of
+its perilous stuff, I can chaff myself, which
+is more profitable."</p>
+
+<p>"You were always too clever for me. What
+else do you do?"</p>
+
+<p>"As the Baroness used to say in <i>The Danicheffs</i>,
+in our days of vanity, 'Do you think
+that is much of a compliment?' I read, and
+fish, and climb, and ride several hobbies, and
+meditate on Man, on Nature, and on Human
+Fate."</p>
+
+<p>"What's the good of that?" I was growing
+impatient of all this nonsense.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, not much, perhaps," said he. "For
+you, very little indeed. But intrinsically it
+is about as profitable as more popular avocations."</p>
+
+<p>"Now look here, Hartman," I said. "You're
+a better man any day than I&mdash;or you were.
+But here you are, hidden in the backwoods
+with owls (one of them was making a horrid
+noise outside), and nothing to show. Now
+I've got a wife&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"And seven children," he interposed.</p>
+
+<p>"No, only three. But I have a good business,
+and a house on the avenue, and a decent
+social position, and I'm making money. And
+I don't like to see you throw yourself away
+like this."</p>
+
+<p>"Old man," said Hartman, "we are just of
+an age, and you would pass for five years the
+elder. Your hair is getting gray, and thin on
+top. You look fagged. And you owned to
+me that you came here to pick up."</p>
+
+<p>He had me there a little. "Yes, I've been
+working hard. But I'm in the swim. I do
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span>
+as others do. I help to make the wheels go
+round." I thought I had him there; but you
+never can count on Hartman, except for an
+answer of some kind.</p>
+
+<p>"Wouldn't they go round without your
+help? And why should they go around,
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads anyway?&quot; with a quotation mark">anyway?</ins> It might be a variety to have
+them stop. What's the good of it?"</p>
+
+<p>I stared at him; but his eye looked more
+rational than his talk sounded. "The good
+of it is that I am in things generally, while
+you are out."</p>
+
+<p>"Exactly so. I am out, while you are in.
+As to things generally, I prefer to be with the
+outs. It is a matter of taste, no doubt."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, you are beyond me. But I brought
+myself in merely as an example&mdash;not that I
+set up to be much of that&mdash;or an illustration,
+say. I want to know about you." It may have
+been foolish, but somehow I felt the old affection
+coming back as we talked. "What does
+it all mean, Harty?"</p>
+
+<p>He looked at me. "Do you really want to
+know, Bob?"</p>
+
+<p>"Of course I do. Do you suppose I've forgotten
+the larks we used to have, and the
+scrapes you got me out of, and how you coached
+me through that exam, in Calculus? It's
+long ago, Jim; but I took it rather hard, the
+way you dropped me."</p>
+
+<p>He began to look as he used to: he wasn't a
+selfish fellow in those days. "I never meant
+to be hard on you, Bob, nor supposed you'd
+take it so: and I doubt if you did, though you
+think so at this moment. It was part of a
+system; and systems are poor things, though
+we can't do without them. I'll tell you how
+it was."</p>
+
+<p>"Wait till I fill up.&mdash;Now go ahead."</p>
+
+<p>"You don't smoke as you used to, Bob.
+Does the Madam object?"</p>
+
+<p>"She doesn't like tobacco about the house,
+of course. And I'm not sure it's good for me."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span>
+"Ah. Sorry to be leading you astray.
+There is no one to interfere with my little
+vices. Well, Bob, I got tired of it. Not that
+that alone would matter: one could stand
+being bored in a good cause. But I couldn't
+see that it was a good cause."</p>
+
+<p>"Would you mind <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads explaining? with no quotation mark">explaining?"</ins> said I.
+"What cause?"</p>
+
+<p>"Helping to make the wheels go round.
+Being in the swim. Doing as others do. Trying
+to make a little money and a little name,
+and following the fashions of a carnal-minded
+generation. I could see no point to it, Bob;
+the game never seemed worth the candle."</p>
+
+<p>"And so you came out in the woods, like
+what's his name&mdash;that Concord fellow. Do
+you find this any better?"</p>
+
+<p>"Negatively. I am not so much a part of
+the things I despise. The pomps and vanities
+are conspicuous chiefly by their absence. It
+is a simpler life, comparatively laudable for
+there being less of it."</p>
+
+<p>"And don't you get bored, out here? A
+week or so of it is well enough in a way; but
+take it the year round, I should think you'd
+find it worse than civilization."</p>
+
+<p>"I get bored, of course: that is incidental
+to life, and chronic with one who has looked
+beneath the surface and sifted values. But
+it's not so oppressive as in town. There are
+no shams here, to speak of. Having no business
+and no society, we don't pretend to be
+very different from what we are."</p>
+
+<p>"O, if you come to that, the women still
+improve on nature, and the street has its little
+tricks and methods; but you could keep out of
+them. You were in the law."</p>
+
+<p>"It's all the same, Bob. The law now is
+worked much more as a business than as a
+science. Look at Jones, and Brown, and
+Jenkins: they are getting on, I hear. I don't
+want to get on in that way."</p>
+
+<p>"But you might have taken the scientific
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span>
+side of it. With your head piece, and your
+high and mighty notions, there was a field for
+you."</p>
+
+<p>"So is theology a field, or physic, or Greek
+roots, or chiropody&mdash;for him, who believes in
+them. I was not able to see that one line of
+thought has a right to crowd out all the rest,
+or to sink my whole soul in a profession.
+That's what they want of you now&mdash;to make
+a little clearing, and put up palings all round
+it, and see things outside only through the
+chinks of your blessed fence. Be a narrow
+specialist: know one thing, and care for nothing
+else. I suppose you can do that with oil."</p>
+
+<p>I thought there was some uncalled-for bitterness
+in this; but the poor fellow can't be
+contented, with his lonesome and aimless life.
+"We're not talking about me, Jim. You're
+the topic. Stick to your text, and preach
+away: my soul is not so immersed in oil that
+I can't listen. But I don't blame you for
+going back on the law; a beast of a business,
+I always thought it. Why didn't you go for
+a Professorship?"</p>
+
+<p>"My poor friend, you were at college four
+years, and graduated&mdash;without honors, it is
+true. Don't you remember how little we
+cared for the Profs. and their eminent attainments?
+We took it for granted that it was all
+right, and they understood what they were at;
+but it was a grind, to them and to us. If a
+man was an enthusiast for his branch, we
+rather laughed at him; or if his name was well
+up, we were willing to be proud of him&mdash;at a
+distance&mdash;as an honor to Alma Mater; but we
+kicked all the same, if he tried to put extra
+work on us. It was all fashion, routine, tradition.
+The student mind doesn't begin to
+look into things for itself till about the senior
+year, and then it's full of what lies ahead, in
+the great world outside&mdash;poor innocents! With
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'these'">those</ins> of us who had anything in us, it took
+most of the time to knock the nonsense out.&mdash;And
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span>
+then if a man wants a chair, he must
+take it in a western concern, where he'll be
+expected to lead in prayer-meeting, and to
+have no views of geology that conflict with the
+Catechism."</p>
+
+<p>"Well then, why not go on with literature?
+That was in your line: you might have made
+a good thing of it."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, by 'unremitting application,' much
+the same as at law, and taking it seriously as
+a profession, I might in time possibly have
+made five hundred a year off the magazines,
+and won an humble place among our seven
+hundred rising authors. What's the good of
+that, when one is not a transcendent genius,
+destined for posterity? The crowd seems
+to be thickest just there: too many books, too
+many writers, and by far too many anxious
+aspirants. Why should I swell the number?
+The community was not especially pining to
+hear what I might have to say; and I did not
+pine so much as some to be heard."</p>
+
+<p>"I fear you lacked ambition, Harty. You
+would have made a pretty good preacher; but
+I suppose you weren't sanctified enough."</p>
+
+<p>"Thanks: scarcely. I prefer to retain some
+vestiges of self-respect. That will do for the
+youths on the beneficiary list, who are taken
+in and done for from infancy, to whom it is an
+object to get a free education and into a gentlemanly
+profession. That's the kind they
+mostly make parsons of now, I hear. My
+boy, to do anything really <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'on'">in</ins> that line, a man
+ought to have notions different from mine&mdash;rather.
+Why don't you advise me to set up a
+kindergarten? That would suit as well as
+chronicling ecclesiastical small beer. Cudgel
+your brains, and start something more plausible."</p>
+
+<p>This did not surprise me at all; but my
+suggestion-box was getting low. Then I made
+a rally. "How about the philanthropic
+dodge? Robinson is on the Associated Charities
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span>
+in town. I saw in the paper that he made
+a speech the other night."</p>
+
+<p>"If he does nothing better than speech-making,
+he might as well drop it. There
+might be something in benevolent efforts, if
+one had just the temperament and talents for
+them. But as it is, I fear most of it is humbug;
+mutual admiration, seeing your name in
+the paper, and all that. And how they get
+imposed on! How they pauperize and
+debauch those they try to raise! It's a law
+of nature, Bob, that every tub must stand on
+its own bottom: you can't reform a man from
+without. Natural selection will have its way:
+the shiftless and the lazy must go to the wall.
+If you could kill them off, now, that might do
+some good. The class that needs help is not
+like us&mdash;not that we are anything to brag of:
+they've not had our chance. It's very well
+to say, give 'em a chance; but that's no use
+unless they take it, which they won't. 'Who
+would be free, themselves must strike the
+blow.' If they wouldn't, you are bound to
+respect their right of choice. Your drunken
+ruffian will keep on breaking the furniture, till
+another like him breaks his skull. His wife,
+the washerwoman with six small children, will
+continue getting more and making things
+worse. This part of it at least ought to be
+regulated by law: but that would be a restriction
+of personal liberty, which is the idol of
+this age, and not without reason. We're
+between two millstones, and I see no way
+out."</p>
+
+<p>"How would you like politics? The gentleman
+is supposed to have an opening there
+now."</p>
+
+<p>"A doubtful and difficult one. If it had
+come in my time I might have tried it. But
+it would be <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'up hill'">uphill</ins> work, a sort of Sisyphus
+affair: you may get the stone to the top, but
+the chances are against it. And which party
+is one to join, when he sees nothing in either
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span>
+but selfish greed and stale traditions? Viewed
+as a missionary field, Bob, it's just like the
+ministry: you are weighed down with a lot of
+dead conventions which you must pretend to
+believe have life and juice in them yet.
+Before you can do anything you must be a
+partisan, and that requires a mediæval state of
+mind. Mine, unluckily if you like, is modern.
+It wouldn't go, Bob. Try again, if you have
+more on your list."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, there's pure Science: you wouldn't
+care for the applied, I know. But you used
+to like beetles and things. Truth for Truth's
+sake is a fine motto, now?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, if they lived by it. There was Bumpus,
+old Chlorum's favorite student&mdash;in the
+laboratory, you remember. The old man
+died, and Bumpus stole all his discoveries,
+and published them as his own; made quite a
+pretty reputation, and is one of our leading
+chemists. You know how the books on Astronomy
+are made? A man finds out a thing or
+two for himself, cribs the rest from other
+books, changes the wording, and brings it all
+out with a blare of trumpets as original
+research. Those methods are approved, or at
+least tolerated, in the best scientific circles,
+and other folks don't know the difference.
+O, I belong to a few societies yet, and once
+in an age go to their meetings, when I get
+tired up here."</p>
+
+<p>"So the outside world still has charms, eh?
+Have to go back to it now and then, to keep
+alive, do you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, when I need to be reconciled to solitude;
+much as you go to hear Ingersoll when
+your orthodoxy wants confirming, or Dr.
+Deadcreed if your liberalism is to be stirred
+up. Let us spice the <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'insiped'">insipid</ins> dish with some
+small variety. The lesser evil needs the
+greater for its foil."</p>
+
+<p>"Look here, Harty; this sounds like pure
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'perversness'">perverseness</ins>; opposition for its own sake, you
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span>
+know. I believe your money has been the
+ruin of you. It's not an original remark, but
+if you'd had nothing you'd have done something;
+gone into business like the rest of us,
+and made your way."</p>
+
+<p>"Of course, if I had been obliged to; but I
+should have loved it none the better. Poor
+Bayard Taylor said a man could serve God
+and mammon both, but only by hating the
+mammon which he served from sheer necessity.
+Say I got my living by a certain craft,
+would that make the craft noble? 'Great is
+Diana of the Ephesians,' because we sell her
+images! Why should I desire to supply the
+confiding public with shoes, or sugar, or sealing-wax?
+Plenty of others can do that better,
+and find it more amusing, than I should."</p>
+
+<p>"If it's amusement you're after, most men
+find it in Society. You're not too old for that
+yet."</p>
+
+<p>"Blind guide, I have been there. So long
+ago, you say, that I've forgotten what it's like?
+Not quite. Last winter I had to attend an
+execution: couldn't get out of it, you know.
+My cousin married a Washington belle, and
+I had to be there a week, and take it all in.
+Ah well, this is a threadbare theme; but I
+could understand how men fifteen hundred
+years ago fled from Alexandrian ball-rooms to
+Nitrian deserts. The emptiness of it&mdash;the eternal
+simper, the godless and harrowing routine!
+If a man has brains or a soul about him, what
+can he do with them in such a crowd? Better
+leave them at home with his pocket-book, or
+he might lose them&mdash;less suddenly, but more
+certainly, I fancy. No, the clubs are not
+much better; I don't care for horse-talk or
+the price of shares. See human nature? not in
+its best clothes&mdash;and you may read that remark
+either way you like. Why man, you can get
+all this in <i>Punch</i> and the novels, with far less
+fatigue, and lay them down when you have had
+enough. An hour on Broadway sickens me
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span>
+for the wild-flowers, the brooks, the free breeze
+or the mountain side."</p>
+
+<p>He was getting violent now, and I thought
+I had better calm him down. "Oho! the
+rhyme and reason of a rural life, is it?
+Soothing effect of Nature on a world-worn
+bosom, and all that? So you do believe in
+something, after all?"</p>
+
+<p>"I told you it was but a choice of evils, and
+this is the less. Nature has neither heart nor
+conscience, and she sets us a bad example.
+She has no continuity, no reliableness, no self-control.
+I can see none of the fabled sublimity
+in a storm; only the pettishness of a
+spoiled child, or of an angry man bent on
+breaking things. The sunset is better to look
+at, but it has no more moral meaning than a
+peep-show. Yet this is a return to primitive
+conditions, in a way. I can throw off here the
+peddler's pack of artificialities that Vanity Fair
+imposes, and carry only the inevitable burden
+of manhood. The air is less poisonous to
+body and mind than in the cities. The groves
+were God's first temples, and may be the last."</p>
+
+<p>"See here, Hartman. Suppose people in
+general were to take up with these cheerful
+notions of yours, and go away from each other
+and out in the backwoods&mdash;what then?"</p>
+
+<p>"It might be the best thing they could do.
+But don't be alarmed, Bob: I am not a Nihilist
+agent. Preserve your faith in the Oil Exchange
+and the general order. I speak only
+for myself, and I'm not proselyting to any
+great extent. We'll have a week's fishing,
+and then I'll send you back to your wife in
+good shape. Or if you find yourself getting
+demoralized, you can skip earlier, either home
+or to a place further up that I'll tell you of,
+where the few inhabitants are as harmless as
+your youngest baby."</p>
+
+<p>But I was not to be bluffed off in this way.
+"Jim," I said, "there is something behind all
+this. Was it that girl you met at Newport
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span>
+and afterwards in Naples? You told me
+once&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Never mind the girl," he said. "You are
+a married man, and I an old bachelor. Leave
+girls to those who have use for them. If we
+are to get any trout to-morrow, it's time we
+turned in. And if you won't stay, I'll go
+with you to the tavern and knock up old
+Hodge: he's been asleep these four hours." I
+thought he had talked enough for one night,
+so I said no more, but got back to bed.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="Worse_Yet" id="Worse_Yet"></a>II.</h3>
+
+<h4>WORSE YET.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Hartman</span> had asked me to stay with him,
+but there is no use of overloading friendship,
+and I like to be my own master as well as he
+does. I might get tired of him, or he of me;
+and it's not well to be chained to your best
+friend for a solid week. Not that I am afraid
+of Hartman; he is not a lunatic, only a monomaniac;
+but I can cheer him up better when I
+have a good line of retreat open. He took
+me next morning to some superior pools,
+where the trout were fat and fierce; but I
+had not my usual skill. The truth is, Jim
+was on my mind; and after missing several
+big fish and taking a good deal of his chaff,
+I begged off&mdash;said I had letters to write&mdash;and
+so got to the tavern in time for dinner, which
+they have at the pagan hour of half-past
+eleven. Then I set to work thinking. I am
+not quite so dull as I may seem, but Hartman
+always had the ascendancy at college,
+and last night I fell into the old way of playing
+chorus to his high tragedy. This will not do,
+and I must assert myself. He was much the
+better student of course, but I have knocked
+about and seen more of the world than he has,
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span>
+shut up in these woods like a toad in a tree.
+He is too good a sort to go to seed with his
+confounded whimseys; so I determined to
+take a different tone with him. And I wrote
+to my wife about it: Mabel is a competent
+woman, and sometimes has very good ideas
+where mine fail&mdash;though of course I seldom
+let her see that. That evening I took him in
+hand.</p>
+
+<p>"Jim," I said, "I've been thinking&mdash;about
+you."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah," said he. "Large results may be
+expected from such unusual exertion. Impart
+them by all means."</p>
+
+<p>"James Hartman, you are lazy, and selfish,
+and unprincipled."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes?" said he, in an inquiring tone.
+"That is your thesis. Prove it."</p>
+
+<p>I went on. "A man should be doing something:
+you are doing nothing. A man should
+have a stake in the community. What have
+you got? Three dogs and an old cow. A
+man should be in connection and sympathy
+with the great tides of life. Here you are
+with nobody but yokels to talk to, and the
+pulse of the region about two to the minute."</p>
+
+<p>"Twin brother of my soul, companion of
+the palmy days of youth, methinks&mdash;as they
+say in the wild and wondrous West&mdash;you hit
+me where I live. But none of these things
+move me. I am lost in admiration of your
+oratory: really, Bob, I didn't think it was in
+you. But you said all this, in simpler language,
+last night."</p>
+
+<p>I saw I had overshot the mark: when he
+takes that tone, you are nowhere. "Jim," I
+said, "let's be serious. Begin where we left
+off, then. Granted that you don't care for
+making money, and the ends most of us are
+after. By character and fortune you are
+above the usual selfish motives. Still you are
+a man, a member of the community: you have
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span>
+duties to your fellows. Let the nobler
+motives come in. Do something to make the
+world happier, wiser, better. You have the
+power, if you had the will. Are not private
+talents a public trust? You used to berate
+the hogs of Epicurus' sty. It seems to me
+you've fallen back on mere self-indulgence.
+Your life here is a huge egoism. Cut loose
+from these withering notions: there is a better
+side to things than the one you see. Come
+back to the world, and be a man again."</p>
+
+<p>His eye was very bright now&mdash;not that it
+was ever dull&mdash;but I could not quite make
+out what it meant; perhaps mere <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - original reads: 'curiosity,' with a comma">curiosity.</ins>
+"Robert," he said, "I should believe that
+somebody had been coaching you, but there's
+no one in range who could do it except myself.
+It's not like you to have brought books
+along; and you've not had time to hear from
+home. What put you up to this?"</p>
+
+<p>"Hartman," I said, "look me in the eye
+and see whether I mean what I say. Go back
+with me next week. Make your home at my
+house till you can look round. I'll introduce
+you to some men who are not shams&mdash;and
+women, if you like. I know a few who have
+souls and consciences, though they do go to
+parties. I'll help you all I'm worth. You
+can make a new start. Something went
+wrong before. Better luck this time."</p>
+
+<p>"Bob," said he, "I'll take your word for it.
+Deeply touched by such unexpected and undeserved
+consideration&mdash;no, I won't chaff.
+You're not half a bad lot. But, my dear boy,
+you see the thing from your standpoint; mine
+is different. I'll try to explain. But what
+would you have me do?"</p>
+
+<p>"Whatever is best for you. Anything, so
+you get an object in life."</p>
+
+<p>"Do you remember what De Senancour says,
+in <i>Obermann</i>?"</p>
+
+<p>"Not I. Put it in your own English, please:
+no French morals in mine."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span>
+"What is there to be done that is worth
+doing? It seems to me that everything is
+overdone. I go into a town, big or little: ten
+stores where one is needed. How do all these
+poor creatures live? Do you see anything
+noble in this petty struggle for existence? I
+can't. I serve my kind best by getting out of
+their way: that makes one less in the scramble."</p>
+
+<p>"I shouldn't expect you to sell tape or taffy,
+Jim. You could deal in a higher line of goods,
+and do it in your own way."</p>
+
+<p>"They don't want my goods, Bob, and I
+can't do it in my own way. I have tried&mdash;not
+much, but enough to see. There is no market
+for my wares: and I'm not sure they are
+worth marketing&mdash;or that any man's are.
+Truth as I see it is the last article to be in
+demand."</p>
+
+<p>"As you think you see it just now, very
+likely. Your eye is jaundiced, and sees all
+things yellow. Get well, and you can find a
+market. Fit your mind to the facts, and
+receive a true impression."</p>
+
+<p>"Exactly what I have done&mdash;so far as any
+impression is true. That's the point I've been
+waiting for you to come to. 'The Universe is
+change, and Life is opinion.' As a man thinketh
+in his heart, so is he; and as he thinks of
+things outside himself, so are they to him. One
+can do no more than use his eyes and brains,
+and then rule himself by what he sees. I
+have looked at matters more carefully and
+dispassionately than some do, and seen a little
+deeper into them: the prospect is not edifying,
+Bob. I am prejudiced, you say? No, I have
+cast aside prejudice. Most of you are misled
+by the love of life: you want to give a favorable
+account of your own belongings, and the
+wish is father to the thought: so you blink
+what is before you, and won't own the truth.
+Perhaps you are wise in your way: you gain
+such bliss as is in ignorance. Keep it if you
+can: I have no desire to disturb it."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span>
+"Jim, mayn't there be a little conceit of
+superior wisdom here?"</p>
+
+<p>"Very possibly: as the lamented Bedott
+observed, we are all poor creatures. 'I do not
+speak as one that is exempt:' doubtless I
+have my full share of infirmity."</p>
+
+<p>"Then why not take the benefit of it, with
+the rest of us? There's a better as well as a
+worse side. Take things as they are, and
+make the best of them."</p>
+
+<p>"I do. The best is the least, and I get
+away from things as much as possible. To
+minimize life is to make the best of it."</p>
+
+<p>"Now you're at it again; begging the question,
+and dodging the argument&mdash;you'd say,
+summing it up, I suppose. I tell you, it's all
+mental, and your mind's diseased. You think
+you're injured by the scheme of things. Well,
+change your opinion, and the injury is gone.
+Didn't one of your old philosophers say something
+like that?"</p>
+
+<p>"He didn't give it quite the application you
+do, Bob. How can I change an opinion that is
+based accurately on facts? I don't make the
+facts: if I did, my opinion of myself would
+be yet worse than it is. I have a brain&mdash;such
+as it is&mdash;and a conscience: I can keep them
+clean and awake, even on Crusoe's island.
+Nothing better than that, my boy. 'What is
+the good of man? Rectitude of will, and to
+understand the appearances of things.'"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Hartman, if you had two or three
+kids, as I have, you'd see things differently.
+They would give you an interest in life."</p>
+
+<p>"A tragically solemn one, no doubt. That
+responsibility at least can't be forced on a
+man. He can let his part of the curse die
+out with him."</p>
+
+<p>"Jim, you <i>are</i> selfish. You were made to
+gladden some woman's eye and fill her
+heart. You were the strongest man of the
+nine, and the best oar in the crew. We all
+envied your looks, and there's more of them
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span>
+now. You could outshine all the gilded
+youth I know, and hold your own with the
+best. I remember a girl that thought so, a
+dozen years ago. Somewhere a woman is
+waiting for you to come and claim her. Why
+will you rob her and the world? This wilful
+waste is selfish wickedness, that's what it is."</p>
+
+<p>"Think so if you must: it's a free country.
+But you sugar the pill too much. Who misses
+me&mdash;or what if some few did for a while?
+They've forgotten me long ago. I tell you, I
+served society by deserting it."</p>
+
+<p>"It's all very well now, Jim, while your
+youth and strength last. But after you turn
+forty, or fifty say, these woods and whims will
+lose their charm; you'll get bored as you've
+never been yet. The emptiness and dreariness
+that you theorize about will become stern
+realities: you'll pine, when it's too late, for
+human affection and some hold on life. My
+lad, you are storing up for yourself a sad old
+age."</p>
+
+<p>I thought I had him at last. His surface
+lightness was all gone: he looked intent and
+solemn. "No doubt of it, Bob; not the least
+in life. I am human, and the worst is yet to
+come. But do you think me such a cad as to
+go back on my principles in search of so poor
+a shadow as happiness? Shall I, in base hope
+of easing my own burden, throw it on somebody
+else who but for me might go through
+existence lightly? Should I call sentient
+beings out of the blessed gulf of nothingness,
+that they may pay a duty to my weakness by
+and by, and curse me in their hearts? That
+would be somewhat too high a price to pay
+for broth when I am toothless, and the coddling
+comforts of one who has lived too long."</p>
+
+<p>I am not thin-skinned, but his tone shocked
+me. "Dear boy," I said, "they wouldn't
+look at <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: 'it' does not appear in the original">it</ins> in that light. They would be your
+wife and your children."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," he said, still savagely, "they would
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span>
+be my wife and children&mdash;supposing your
+unsupposable case. Grant that my notions
+are as false and monstrous as you think them:
+a pleasant lot for my wife, wouldn't it, to be
+in constant contact with them? And my
+children would have my blood in them&mdash;the
+taint of eccentricity, perhaps of madness: O,
+I've seen it in your eye. Others would think
+so too&mdash;most, no doubt. No, Bob; better let
+it die out with me."</p>
+
+<p>"Jim, you make me tired. I'll go back to
+the tavern." I was disappointed, and he
+saw it.</p>
+
+<p>"Don't make yourself wretched about me,
+old man. Let this thing go&mdash;you can't mend
+it. Follow your own doctrine, and take what
+you find. We have the May weather, good
+legs, and our tackle, and the brooks are full of
+trout. I kill nothing bigger than fish, but if
+you want a change I'll show you where you
+can have a chance for deer. And for the
+evenings, there are other topics besides
+ourselves&mdash;or rather myself. You can tell me
+about your children; they are likely to be
+healthier than mine would be. Good night,
+my boy: sound sleep, and no dreams of me."</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><a name="Complications" id="Complications"></a>III.</h3>
+
+<h4>COMPLICATIONS.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">After</span> that I found it best to do as Hartman
+had said. The sport was good, but I
+failed to enjoy it. I suppose I was a fool, for
+each of us makes or mars his own life, and it
+is no use moping over your neighbor's blunders;
+but I could not get that poor devil out
+of my mind. He talks as well on one subject
+as on another: it was I, not he, had brought
+him under discussion; but the evenings dragged.
+Then came a letter from home: the
+distance is considerable, and the mails slow.
+"Dear Robert," my wife wrote, "I am glad to
+know you are so comfortable. Keep your
+flannels on, and change your clothing when
+you have been in the wet. The children are
+well: Herbert fell over the banisters yesterday,
+but fortunately without injury. Bring your
+friend Mr. H. back with you; he seems to be
+presentable, and evidently all he needs is a
+little cheering feminine society." [Hum:
+feminine society puts a higher estimate on its
+own powers than I do, then.] "Clarice has
+returned. You know how enterprising she is,
+not to say wilful, and how fond she is of you.
+She has taken a fancy to try your retreat, and
+learn to catch trout." [She has, eh? Well,
+let's get on with this.] "Jane will go with her,
+of course: they start on Thursday. Secure
+rooms for them, and have a vehicle to meet
+them."</p>
+
+<p>Here was a nice situation. To make Mabel
+easy about me, I had enlarged too much on
+the accommodations here; they are a long way
+from what she supposes. I called the landlord.
+"Hodge, here are two ladies coming
+from the city. Where can you put them?"</p>
+
+<p>"Wall, I d'no, Square. Ain't much used
+to city gals. Hope they don't bring no
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span>
+sarrytogys. There ain't nothin but your
+room, an mine, an old Poll's, and the gerrit.
+Me and you might go out in the hayloft like,
+or sleep on the pyazzer if the nights is warm."</p>
+
+<p>While he <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'has'">was</ins> maundering on, the whole
+truth flashed upon me. Why can't I see
+things at once, like Hartman? If I had his
+sharpness, and he my slow common sense,
+there would be two men fit for this world's
+uses&mdash;which neither of us appears to be, as the
+case stands. I had rashly said too much about
+Jim and his attractions. Mabel is a born manager
+and matchmaker&mdash;can't endure to see an
+eligible man uncaught. She has put the girls
+up to this game: 'cheering feminine society,'
+indeed! My sister Jane is a sensible woman
+enough, and not much younger than I; but
+Clarice is a beauty with six years' experience,
+and irresistible, some think. 'Enterprising'&mdash;well,
+I should say so: cheeky, you might
+call it. Women do take such stunning liberties
+nowadays. My wife would reprove me
+for slang; but weaker words fail to express
+the fact, and my feelings about it. I might
+stand these girls coming up here after me&mdash;Clarice
+is a sort of eighth cousin of Mabel's
+and looks on me as a brother. But Jim&mdash;no.
+She must be pining for more worlds to
+conquer, and it would just suit her book to
+bring a romantic hermit to her feet. I should
+like well enough to see her try it, when I was
+not responsible, but not under present circumstances.
+Great Cæsar! Jim will think I
+have put up this job on him, and never forgive
+me: nor would I, in his place. This field is
+getting too thick with missionaries.&mdash;"Hodge,
+it won't do. Harness your old nag, and drive
+me to the station. I must telegraph. And
+while I'm there, I may as well put for home.
+We can catch the night train if you hurry."</p>
+
+<p>"Wall, Square, I don't cotton to suddint
+changes: like to move when I git a good
+ready. Ye put a man off his base, Darn&mdash;."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span>
+I checked his incipient profanity. "My
+friend, whether you like it or not is in this case
+immaterial. I'll pay you for the time I meant
+to stay, and all you like for the fifteen miles.
+But be quick, now."</p>
+
+<p>While he was hunting strings for his
+broken buckboard, I threw my traps together,
+and scratched a line to Jim: called home
+by sudden press of business, I said&mdash;and so it
+was, in a way. It is a long ride, but I had
+enough to think of. At the depot I wired,
+"Hold the girls. I am coming back." As I
+straightened up from this exercise, there was
+the old sinner grinning malignantly over my
+shoulder. "Hodge," I said, "not a word
+about the ladies to Mr. Hartman, mind," and
+I gave him an extra dollar. This was another
+mistake, I suppose.</p>
+
+<p>"Never you mind, Square: tain't me as goes
+back on my friends." What could the old
+fool be thinking of? I would have given him
+some more cautions, but the train came, and I
+was off.</p>
+
+<p>You may imagine the reception at home. I
+tried to take a high hand, but what can a
+man do against three women? "I really think,
+Robert," said Mabel, "that since the girls had
+set their hearts on this excursion, you might
+have indulged them." "The conceit of men!"
+cried Clarice; "what had our coming to do
+with Mr. Hartman? Is he lord of the manor,
+that no one may trespass on his demesne?"
+Jane too turned on me. "It was not very kind
+of you, brother, to prefer a mere acquaintance
+above your own sister, and suspect her motives
+in order to save his peace, forsooth!" I knew
+it was humbug; but I had to eat no end of
+humble pie, all the same. You may believe
+me or not&mdash;if you are a family man you will,
+without difficulty&mdash;but I had to get those
+women apart, and explain things to them one
+at a time, before I could have peace in the
+house. My own flesh and blood were soon
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span>
+mollified; but Clarice has not forgiven me
+yet. I have been on my knees to her, so to
+speak&mdash;most men do it, and she expects it&mdash;but
+it is of no use. "My dear Clarice," said
+I, "you know I would do anything in the
+world for you." "Yes," said she contemptuously,
+"I've just had experience of it."
+"But you don't know Hartman." "Then why
+couldn't you let me know him?" "But it
+wouldn't have done, under these circumstances.
+He&mdash;I&mdash;." "Unhappy man," she
+said, with her tragedy queen air, "is it possible
+you imagined that you were a better
+judge of the proprieties than I?" And that's
+the way it goes. I am coming to believe Hartman
+was right about the fate of philanthropic
+efforts, at least.</p>
+
+<p>In the midst of all this came a note from
+Jim himself. "Dear Bob, I enclose something
+which Hodge says you left behind."
+[O thrice-accursed idiot, did I leave Mabel's
+letter lying around loose?] "Of course I have
+not looked into it, but I fear he has." [You
+may bet on that: the only chance was that he
+could not read her fine Italian hand.] "He
+says one of your children fell down stairs: I
+trust the results were not serious. Sorry
+you left in such haste, and hindered the ladies
+from coming. Hodge's quarters are not palatial,
+but you could bunk with me, as I at first
+proposed; and since they were willing to
+rough it, we would have managed somehow.
+You could surely rely on my humble aid
+toward making their sojourn in the wilderness
+endurable. And <i>per contra</i>, a little cheering
+feminine society might have assisted your
+benevolent efforts toward my reclamation.
+Was it not selfish to leave me thus unconsoled
+and unconverted?"</p>
+
+<p>Well, the business is done now, with neatness
+and dispatch. That beast Hodge has
+told Jim all he knew or suspected, even to
+that fatal phrase of my wife's: so there's an end
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span>
+of his faith in me, and of any chance I might
+have had to set him straight. That was a
+fortnight ago, and I have not the face to answer
+him. When I have any more doctrinaire
+anchorites to convert, I shall not call a
+family council. But alas, poor Hartman!</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="A_Wilful_Princess" id="A_Wilful_Princess"></a>IV.</h3>
+
+<h4>A WILFUL PRINCESS.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">I was</span> wrong about Hartman after all. He
+has written me again, and this is what he says:</p>
+
+<p>"Do you want to confirm the heretical opinions
+you argued against so manfully? You
+had revived my faith in friendship, Bob: I
+believed, and would like still to believe, that
+one man can be true and kind to another.
+And perhaps in general you had stirred and
+shaken me up more than you knew. Socrates
+outranks Pyrrho, and I am open to conviction.
+Possibly I have been too sweeping; I don't
+wish to dogmatize. It may be that I have
+lived alone too long, shut up in a narrow space,
+where light could enter only through my perversely
+colored glasses. At any rate, your coming
+was like opening a door and letting in a
+wholesome breeze. Have I offended you?
+I thought I was past asking favors from my
+kind: but do let me hear from you."</p>
+
+<p>Of course I had to answer that, and worse,
+to show it to the girls. Some men, now, would
+keep it to themselves, and preserve their dignity;
+but such is not my style. Let them
+crow over me if they must.</p>
+
+<p>They did. "Well, Robert," said Mabel, "you
+see now how absurdly mistaken you were.
+Perhaps hereafter you will allow us to manage
+our own affairs, and not complicate them with
+your bungling masculine attempts at superior
+wisdom." "I am glad to know, brother," said
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span>
+Jane, "that your friend is a gentleman, incapable
+of the base suspicions you would have
+attributed to him. You did your best to prevent
+our knowing him and carrying out your
+ideas for his improvement: now we shall be
+able to meet him cordially, and try to cheer
+him a little. But probably he is not at all as
+dark as you have painted him."</p>
+
+<p>Clarice would say nothing: she was in one
+of her high and mighty moods. Her soul
+is like a star, and sits up aloft; sometimes it
+twinkles, but more generally it does not. I
+often want to tell her that she is a creature too
+bright and good to come to breakfast like
+other folks; but somehow she has a way of
+keeping people at a distance, and even of
+repressing my pleasantries. We call her the
+Princess: She has to be approached with
+bated breath, and you must whisper your compliments
+if you want to fire them off at her;
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'roar'">rear</ins> them as gently as a sucking child, in fact&mdash;and
+then they are very seldom appreciated.</p>
+
+<p>"Clarice," I said, "I want to get Hartman
+down here. Do treat him kindly, please;
+won't you, <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: now? without quotation marks">now</ins>?"</p>
+
+<p>She looked at me with her Juno air. "Why
+should I treat him kindly?"</p>
+
+<p>"O well, I won't say for my sake, because
+you wouldn't care for that. But the poor
+devil has lived in the woods so long."</p>
+
+<p>"He might have been well enough in his
+woods; but why should you bring your poor
+devils into civilized society, and expect me to
+bear with their gaucheries, in addition to your
+own?"</p>
+
+<p>There it is: she'll not forgive me in a year
+for upsetting her fine plan of going up there
+to beard the hermit in his den. She rarely
+takes these fancies, I must own; and when
+she does, she is not accustomed to be balked
+of them. As it has turned out, I might as
+well have let her have her way that time;
+there was no harm in it. "Princess, haven't
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span>
+you trampled on me enough? I was wrong,
+and I'm very sorry: what more can a man
+say? But Hartman had no hand in that."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, that is clear now, no thanks to you.
+Small merit in confessing after you are proved
+guilty."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, you are pretty hard on a fellow.
+But you needn't punish Hartman for my fault.
+Thrash me all you like, but give him a
+chance. I give you my word of honor,
+Clarice, he is a finished gentleman, and very
+different from me. You needn't fear awkwardness
+in him. I knew you would like him."</p>
+
+<p>"How do <i>you</i> know what I would like? If
+this Mr. Hartman wants to see a little of the
+world, I have no desire to prevent his being
+reclaimed from barbarism. Mabel and Jane
+can do that, without my aid. To tell you the
+truth, Robert, I don't care to meet the man,
+after the disgusting complications which you
+have introduced."</p>
+
+<p>I groaned&mdash;I couldn't help it. "Princess,
+please God, I will never interfere with you
+again. You shall be safe from any meddling
+of mine. If you will kindly say what you
+want, and say it slow, so that my limited
+faculties can take it in, I will try to act accordingly.
+But, if I may make so bold as to inquire,
+what are you up to now?"</p>
+
+<p>"I shall go away. O, you need not feel so
+badly about it, Bob: I am not tied to you and
+Mabel. I was in the South all winter, you
+know, and only returned while you were at your
+fishing. I have a dozen invitations for the
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: punctuation on the original is unclear here">summer:</ins> I think I will join Constance."</p>
+
+<p>"Not if I can help it, you won't. This is
+your natural home, Clarice, and you shall not
+be driven from it. Nobody shall enter here
+who is not acceptable to you: if anything
+about the house don't suit you, name it and it
+shall be corrected. You know Jane and
+Mabel worship you; so do the children, if you
+count them. I'll not have Hartman; or I can
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span>
+entertain him at the club while you are all at
+Newport."</p>
+
+<p>"That will be hospitality indeed. Would
+you desert your friend for me?"</p>
+
+<p>"I would not desert you for all the friends
+under the canopy. You have always ruled
+the house when you deigned to be in it, and
+you always will. I may be low in your books,
+but it does not follow that you are not high in
+mine. We can't do without you, Princess;
+you must stay. Name your price, and I'll
+pay it if it breaks me."</p>
+
+<p>"Very well then; I will remain, and meet
+your Mr. Hartman. But one thing must be
+distinctly understood: there must be no more
+crossing of my will. I must be absolutely free and
+unhampered, to plan and carry out what I see
+fit. I may possibly be wrong at times; but you
+will not know when, and it is not for you to
+judge. No more interference or opposition,
+remember. Do the terms suit you?"</p>
+
+<p>"O Lord, yes. I'll have a throne set up in
+the drawing-room, and everybody shall approach
+you Siamese fashion. And perhaps I
+had better come to you to see if my tie is right
+before dinner, and to practice what I shall say
+when we have company."</p>
+
+<p>"It might improve you. But Mabel should
+be competent to attend to those trifles. On
+one point I must instruct you, though. I shall
+doubtless do things that appear to you strange,
+perverse, incomprehensible. In such cases it
+will be best for you to walk by faith. No
+meddling nor espionage, mind."</p>
+
+<p>"Clarice, you don't think me capable of
+playing the spy on you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Not that exactly, but you sometimes indulge
+in little tricks and stratagems: you like to
+think that you hoodwink your wife&mdash;not that
+it ever succeeds&mdash;in small unimportant
+matters. Mabel and Jane may endure your
+attempts, if they like; but don't try them on
+me. They would never deceive me for a
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span>
+moment, of course; but I can't waste time in
+explaining that to you in detail. Besides,
+your fancied success would unsettle your mind,
+and so tend to disturb the domestic equilibrium."</p>
+
+<p>"Good heavens, Clarice! would I lie to
+you?"</p>
+
+<p>"No: you dare not. But let me have no
+subterfuges, no concealments, and no criticisms.
+What I may do you cannot expect to
+understand, nor is it necessary that you
+should."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, thought has been hitherto supposed
+to be free. When I see you at those little
+games of which you are to enjoy a monopoly,
+can't I have an opinion of them?"</p>
+
+<p>"O yes. The opinion will be of small value,
+but your poor mind must be amused and occupied
+somehow, I suppose. But you will be
+carrying your opinions about the house, and
+introducing an element of confusion. If you
+could keep your own counsel, now&mdash;but that
+is hopeless."</p>
+
+<p>"When you are operating on Hartman, for
+instance, it might confuse the programme if
+I were to say anything to him, eh?"</p>
+
+<p>"When I take Mr. Hartman up, it will be
+very much better for his welfare and yours for
+you to leave him in my hands."</p>
+
+<p>"O, he would rather be left there, no doubt,
+though they grind him to powder. But what
+the deuce am I to do? If I mayn't talk to <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'any, body'">anybody</ins>
+else, can't I come to you with my
+opinions&mdash;in odd moments, when your serene
+highness has nothing better on hand?"</p>
+
+<p>"You may bring your valuable ideas to me,
+and I will hear them, when I have leisure and
+inclination. Yes, that will be best. But no concealments,
+mind. When you think you know
+anything that affects me, come to me with it
+at once: otherwise you will be blurting it out
+to somebody else. You promise?"</p>
+
+<p>"I swear, by all my hopes of your royal
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span>
+favor. Anything else? I mean, has your
+majesty any further commands? You'll have
+to give me audience about three times a day,
+you know, to keep me in mind of all these
+rules, or I'll be safe to forget some of them."</p>
+
+<p>"You had better try to remember. I'll keep
+an eye on you. And now do you want any
+more, or have you learnt your lesson?"</p>
+
+<p>"I'll trust so. Henceforth I shall not call
+my soul my own. The humblest of your
+slaves craves permission to kiss the royal
+hand. I say, Clarice, you won't be rough on
+poor Hartman, will you? He's had hard
+lines: you could easily break him to pieces,
+what is left of him."</p>
+
+<p>"If there is so little left of him, there would
+be small credit in breaking him to pieces, as
+you elegantly express it. I shall probably
+let him alone."</p>
+
+<p>"Scarcely. There is a good deal left of
+him yet: he is as handsome a fellow, and as
+fine a fellow, as you'd be apt to find. You're
+tired of the regulation article, dancing man
+and such, that you meet every night: I don't
+wonder. This is something out of the common.
+He needs a little looking after, too.
+I wish now I had let you get at him in May,
+as you proposed."</p>
+
+<p>"Robert, if you fling that odious and vulgar
+figment of your debased imagination at
+me again, I will go away and never come back.
+You make me sick of the man's name. If you
+ever breathe a hint of this disgusting slander
+to him I will never forgive either of you, nor
+speak to you."</p>
+
+<p>"God forbid, Princess dear. Don't you
+know that your good name is as sacred to me
+as Mabel's? Wasn't I to come to you with
+notions that I couldn't put in words to anybody
+else?"</p>
+
+<p>"Let them have some shadow of reason and
+decency about them, then. Cannot a girl plan
+a rural excursion, in company with your sister
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span>
+and under your escort, without being accused
+of designs on a strange man who chances to be
+in the neighborhood? You try my patience
+sorely, Robert. I wonder how Mabel can endure
+you."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, he that is down can't fall any lower,
+as it says in Pilgrim's Progress. Walk over
+me some more, and then maybe you'll feel
+better. What the d&mdash;There, I'm at it again.
+Clarice, it might improve me if you would
+mix a little kindness with your corrections;
+handle me as if you loved me, like the old
+fisherman with his worms, you know. It discourages
+a fellow to get all kicks and no kisses."</p>
+
+<p>"Robert, look me in the eye and swear to
+purge your mind of that vile thought, and
+never to admit another that dishonors me."</p>
+
+<p>"O, I swear it. Bring me the Thirty-nine
+Articles and the Westminster Catechism and
+the Ten Tables, and I'll subscribe to all of 'em.
+I'll think anything you tell me to: I signed
+my soul away an hour ago." Here I saw that
+I had gone too far, and she was really angry.
+She's right; I must learn to check my confounded
+tongue, if I am to keep on any terms
+with the Princess. So I changed my tune,
+just in time. "Don't go, Clarice. Honestly, I
+beg your pardon; upon my soul, I do. Your
+word is all the evidence I want of any fact
+under heaven, of course. Princess dear, I've
+been fond of you since you were a baby, and
+it has grown with your growth&mdash;it has, really.
+I'll prove it some day: you wait and see.
+Forgive me this once, won't you? Don't
+speak, if you are tired, but just give me your
+hand, as they did in the Old Testament, in
+token of forgiveness."</p>
+
+<p>She gave it. I am not good at descriptions,
+but a man might go barefoot and fasting for a
+week, and be paid by touching such a hand as
+that. The queer thing is that I've known
+Clarice for over twenty years&mdash;I told you she
+had been in society for six&mdash;and practically
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span>
+lived with her most of that time, and yet she
+grows more surprising every day. It seems
+to be generally supposed that familiarity
+breeds contempt in such cases; that sisters,
+and wives, and the like, get to be an old story
+to the men who belong to them. Clarice is
+not that kind: possibly I am not. To be sure,
+she is neither my wife nor any blood relation;
+but I don't see that that makes any difference.
+They took out a patent for her up above, and
+reserved all rights, with no power of duplication.
+She might care for me a little more;
+but then I don't suppose I've ever given her
+any reason to. I am well enough in my way,
+but I'm not such an original and striking
+specimen of my 'sect' as she is of hers&mdash;not
+by a long shot. She was exhausted now, and
+that is how I got a chance to put in all this
+wisdom just here. I might talk to Mabel for
+a week, and it would produce no effect: but a
+little thing upsets the Princess, her organization
+is so delicate and sensitive. She is all
+alive and on fire, or else languid and disdainful:
+she can't take life easily, as people of
+coarser grain do, like me. Her brain weighs
+too much and works too hard; that uses her
+up. I don't doubt she has a heart to match;
+but it has never yet waked up to any great
+extent, so far as I have seen or heard. No
+matter; people will care for you all the same,
+Beauty, whether you care for them or not.
+Don't fancy that I am the only one&mdash;far from
+it: but I have the luck to be her adopted
+brother from infancy, and to have access to
+her when others have not. She is not always
+kind&mdash;very seldom, in fact, up to date: but it
+is a privilege to look at her, and any treatment
+from her is good enough for me. She
+used to tyrannize over me in this way when
+she was ten and I twenty, and so it will be, no
+doubt, to the end of the chapter. Outside, I
+sometimes take on a man-of-the-world air,
+and fancy that I can think of you lightly, my
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span>
+Princess&mdash;that is the correct society tone, and
+it does not pay to display the finer feelings of
+our nature to the general world: but when I
+come under the spell of your presence, I know
+that that is all humbug, and that you are Fair
+Inez of the ballad, God bless you. You and
+Hartman ought to get on together: it might
+be a good thing for you both&mdash;him especially.
+Mabel and Jane are women too, but they are
+as devoted to you as I am, according to their
+lights, and more jealous for you: jealousy
+seems to be no part of me, luckily. Well, between
+us we ought to be able to keep all harm
+from you, if you will let us.</p>
+
+<p>Of course I didn't say all this out loud, but
+only thought it. Then she opened her eyes
+and yawned a little.</p>
+
+<p>"Have I been asleep, Bob? I must have
+been: you tired me so. O yes, I know you
+think a good deal of me: that is an old story.
+Well, anything more?"</p>
+
+<p>"Only about poor Hartman, dear: you
+didn't promise yet."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, when he comes I will look him over
+and see what is to be done with him. I must
+go upstairs and dress now." And with this
+I had to be content.</p>
+
+<p>This conversation occurred of a Sunday
+afternoon, when Mabel and Jane had gone to
+Church, and taken Herbert with them: the
+infants were out for an airing with their nurse.
+Fortunately there was a long missionary sermon,
+and a big collection, to which I must
+send five dollars extra: the occasion was worth
+that much to me. As the Princess left the
+room, they came in. They looked at her, then
+at me. "What have you been doing to Clarice,
+Robert?"</p>
+
+<p>"Only preparing her to receive Hartman."</p>
+
+<p>"Preparing her! you great goose, what does
+she want with your preparation? You'll only
+prejudice her against him, and spoil any
+chances he might have. Let her alone, do.
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span>
+Haven't you made mischief enough between
+them already?"</p>
+
+<p>That is all they know about it. Churchgoing
+sometimes fails to bring the female mind
+into a proper frame. But you see they are
+ready to scratch out even my eyes at the
+thought that I have been rubbing her down
+the wrong way. No matter: I know what I
+know, and they need not try to make me believe
+that these things will go right without proper
+management.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="Consultation" id="Consultation"></a>V.</h3>
+
+<h4>CONSULTATION.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">We</span> usually go to Newport for the summer.
+As Mrs. Fishhawk says, the bathing is so fine,
+and the cliffs are such a safe place for children
+to play. Not that we care so much for the
+society: the Princess has seen the vanity of
+that and been bored with it, and the rest of
+us are very domestic people. After much
+persuasion through the mail, Hartman agreed
+to join us there: I was to pick him up in New
+York and take him down. A night or two
+before this, Clarice took me out on the aforesaid
+cliffs, which afford a fine walk in the
+moonlight with the right kind of company,
+but somewhat dangerous if you get spoony
+and forget to look where you are going. The
+Princess, it is needless to say, never commits
+this folly: she always has her wits about her,
+and wits of a high order they are, as not a
+few men have found to their cost, myself
+included,&mdash;many
+and many a time. She opened
+the ball.</p>
+
+<p>"Robert, do you remember our compact?"</p>
+
+<p>"I'm not likely to forget it. Your words
+are my law, more sacred and peremptory than
+the Ten Commandments, or those of the old
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span>
+codger who wrote 'em in blood because his ink
+had given out. As a servant looks to the
+hand of his mistress, so am I to watch your
+dark blue eye for direction and approval.
+Deign to cast a sweet smile, however faint, in
+this direction occasionally: it won't cost you
+much, and will encourage me. If the devotion
+of a lifetime&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, I know all that: at least you've said
+it often enough. Now you will have an opportunity
+to put it in practice. Drop generalities,
+and come to business."</p>
+
+<p>"My heart's queen, I am all attention.
+Speak, and thy slave obeys. Bid me leap
+from yon beetling crag into the billows' angry
+roar&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Will you stop that, or shall I go into the
+house? We are not rehearsing private theatricals
+now."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah, indeed? I thought we might be. I
+expect to see some next week."</p>
+
+<p>"You will see my place at table vacant if
+you don't keep quiet, and listen to what I
+have to say. I can join Constance yet. You
+talk about your affection for me and anxiety
+to serve me, and when I want something definite
+of you, you go off into the Byronic, or the
+Platonic, or what you would perhaps call the
+humorous: it is not easy to discriminate them.
+Once for all, will you do as I bid you, or not?"</p>
+
+<p>When the Princess wants to bring a man to
+book, he has to come there, and stay there till
+he sees a favorable opening for a break: there
+was none such just now. So I called in the
+white-winged coursers of my too exuberant
+fancy, locked them up in the barn, begged the
+lady's pardon as usual, and composed myself
+into an attitude of respectful and devout attention,
+as if I were in church. It was not long
+after dinner: I wanted to have some more fun,
+but that did not seem to be just the time and
+place for it. My preceptress eyed me sternly,
+and waxed anew the thread of her discourse.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span>
+"I told you that my actions might appear
+strange to your ignorance. I will tell you
+now what my plan is, so far as is necessary for
+your guidance: then perhaps you will have
+sense enough not to go gaping about, but to
+fall into line and do what is required of you.
+I have determined to see very little of this Mr.
+Hartman&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"O now, Clarice! After you promised! I
+relied on you&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Be still, stupid, and hear me out. I shall
+see but little of him at first. You have made
+such an ado about the man, I am disposed to
+be interested in him, for your sake. There,
+that will do; let my hand be."&mdash;I was merely
+pressing it a little, I assure you, to testify my
+gratitude for this unusual consideration: I
+don't know when she ever owned to doing a
+thing for my sake before. "For your sake
+first, you great baby, and then, if he is worth
+it, for his own. But at the start, as I told you,
+I must look him over; and that I can do best
+at a little distance."</p>
+
+<p>"And then you mean to take him in and do
+for him? You can, of course; but, Princess
+dear, be merciful&mdash;for my sake first, and then,
+if he is worth it, for his own. Don't grind
+him up too fine: leave pieces of him big
+enough to be recognized and collected by his
+weeping friends."</p>
+
+<p>"Robert, you really ought to try to restrain
+your native coarseness. What can a man like
+you know of the motives and intentions of a
+woman like me? Poor child, if I were to put
+them before you in the plainest terms the
+facts and the dictionary allow, you could not
+understand them."</p>
+
+<p>As a quartz-crusher the Princess could have
+won fame and fortune. I hope she may not
+pulverize Hartman as effectually as she does
+me: he might not take it so kindly. To eliminate
+the metaphor, she is a master at the
+wholesome process of taking a man down: not
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span>
+that I don't often deserve it, or that it is not
+good for me. In fact, I've given her occasion,
+from her youth up, to get her hand in; and
+admiration of her skill binds up the wounds,
+so to speak, with which my whole moral nature
+is scarred at least sixteen deep. In case
+you should not follow my imaginative style,
+let me say in simpler language that I am used
+to it; but another man might not understand
+it. I consumed some more humble pie&mdash;these
+desserts occur frequently in the symposia of
+our conversations&mdash;and she resumed.</p>
+
+<p>"So I will leave him to Jane at first. She
+will be very sisterly and gracious, and will
+make the first stages of his return to the world
+easy and pleasant. This may last two days,
+or two weeks."</p>
+
+<p>"O, don't overdo it. He talked of staying
+but a week or ten days."</p>
+
+<p>"Dear Robert, you are so innocent. He
+will stay as long as I want him to."</p>
+
+<p>"What, whether you notice him or not?"</p>
+
+<p>"Of course. Are you six years old? Have
+you never seen me in action before?"</p>
+
+<p>"Body of Venus and soul of Sappho, I give
+it up. Of course you can do anything you like,
+but I never realized that you could do it without
+seeming to take a hand in the game. I
+strew ashes on my head like what's-his-name,
+and sit down in the dust at your feet. Forgive
+a penitent devotee for forming such lame
+and inadequate conceptions of your power.
+But what part do you want me to dress for in
+this improving moral drama?"</p>
+
+<p>"Your part is very simple. Of course I must
+be occupied. I should hardly shine as a wall-flower."</p>
+
+<p>"You would shine anywhere. If you were
+a violet by an old stone, you couldn't be half
+or a quarter hidden from the eye. But the
+supposition is impossible. If you were free,
+no other girl in the room would have a
+chance."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span>
+"That is very passable, though not wholly
+new. You are improving, Bob. If you would
+give your mind to it, I could mould you into
+tolerable manners yet.&mdash;Well, I might get
+plenty of men from the houses around. But
+they are tiresome&mdash;staler than you, my Robert,
+though I see less of them&mdash;and I can't take
+the same liberties with them I do with you.
+You are to belong to me as long as I may want
+you."</p>
+
+<p>"That is not new at all, Princess. It has
+been so for years. Everybody about the house
+knows that, even the servants&mdash;and all our
+friends."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, of course. But I am to make special
+use of my property for the next few days.
+You will have to be in constant attendance.
+You ought to enjoy the prospect, and the
+reality when it comes."</p>
+
+<p>"I do; I shall: bet your boots on that. O
+confound it, I've got my lines mixed already."</p>
+
+<p>"Rather. If you startle the audience with
+such a speech as that, what will Mr. Hartman
+think? You must put on your prettiest behavior,
+Bob. Make a desperate effort, and try
+to keep it up&mdash;for my sake, now."</p>
+
+<p>"For your sake I can be Bayard and Crichton
+and Brummell and all those dudes rolled
+into one. I'll order some new clothes when I
+go down. And you will have to be very
+gracious to me, you know."</p>
+
+<p>"Am I not gracious enough now, pet? How
+is this for a rehearsal?"</p>
+
+<p>"Beyond my wildest dreams, Empress.
+When you treat me thus for an hour, I can
+bear your ill usage for a year."</p>
+
+<p>"There will be no ill usage at present, if you
+behave. Now don't forget, and spoil the play.
+Understand, you are to pair off with me, as
+Mr. Hartman with Jane. Mabel is mostly occupied
+with the children; we will all look
+after her, of course. And there will be mixing
+and change of partners, but not much.
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span>
+You must watch, and obey my slightest hint&mdash;the
+turn of an eyelid, the flutter of a fan.
+I'll teach you all that."</p>
+
+<p>"I know a lot of it already: when it comes
+to watching you, I am a dabster. I'll behave
+as if I was at school to Plato and Confucius,
+and in training to succeed them both. Do you
+know, Princess, if you were to treat a stranger
+for half a day as you are treating me now, he
+would want to die for you?"</p>
+
+<p>"He might die for want of me before
+the day was over, if he grew lackadaisical over
+his wants. All men are not so chivalrous as
+you, my poor Robert. You may have to do
+that sort of dying before long. You must be
+ready to be dropped when the time comes to
+change the figures. No growling or moping,
+mind: you must submit sweetly, and take
+your place in the background with Jane,
+while the rest of the play goes on."</p>
+
+<p>"I know: I've been there before. I can find
+consolation in seeing you carry the leading
+part. One set of men passes away, and another
+set comes on; but the Princess goes on
+conquering, regardless of the moans of her
+victims as they writhe on the bloody battlefield.
+O, I'm used to being shoved aside, and
+feeding on my woes in silent patience. The
+flowret fades when day is done, and so does
+every mother's son Who thinks his course is
+just begun, And knows not that his race is run&mdash;How
+does it go on, Clarice? I forget the
+rest of it."</p>
+
+<p>"It is a pity you didn't forget the whole of it.
+I would if I were you, and quickly, lest you
+horrify some one else with it. You are too
+big to pose as a flowret, Bob."</p>
+
+<p>"Polestar of my faith, see here. I'll have to
+be around with Hartman, smoking and so on,
+nights, after you and the rest have turned in,
+and often in the daylight. You and Jane
+can't attend to his case in person all the time,
+you know, and I'm his host. What shall I say
+about you?"</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span>
+"Anything you like. Praise me to the skies,
+of course. That will be in keeping with your
+part as my cavalier; and he will see how
+things are between us&mdash;on your side, I mean.
+Tell him about my few faults, if you can bring
+yourself to mention them. Yes, you must;
+they will set off my many virtues. Be perfectly
+natural about it: you have known and
+cherished me from infancy, and so forth. Not
+a word, of course, about our compact, and
+these rehearsals, and my coaching you&mdash;O
+you great booby, were you capable of blurting
+that out? If you do, you'll spoil all, and
+I'll never forgive you. Remember now:
+you profess to dread my anger, and you have
+reason; you've felt it before. If you want me
+ever to trust you again, keep to yourself what
+is between us; regard it as sacred. O, I know
+you profess to look at all that belongs to me
+in that light; but show your faith by your
+works. Swear it to me now."</p>
+
+<p>I swore. That is a ceremony which has to
+be gone through rather frequently with the
+Princess, and somehow I don't mind it. But
+how the deuce is one to remember all these
+rules and regulations? I'll have to get Clarice
+to write them out for me, by chapter and
+verse, with big headings; then I'll get the
+thing printed, and carry it about with me, and
+study it nights and mornings. But Mabel
+might find it in my clothes: she is welcome to
+my secrets, but this is not mine. I might
+have it printed in cipher; but then I should
+be sure to lose the key. O, confound it all,
+I'll have to chance it: I'll be sure to slip up
+somewhere, and then there'll be a row. Well,
+why borrow trouble? Let's gather the flowers
+while we may: only there are none just here,
+and it is too dark to find them. Then a
+thought suddenly struck me: why not head
+off the difficulty by improving my position
+beforehand? "Princess dearest, do you like
+me better than you used to, or is this only
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span>
+part of the play, the excitement of practicing
+for a newcomer? Tell me, please&mdash;there's a
+dear."</p>
+
+<p>We were near the house now, and she darted
+away from me. "If you tells me no questions,
+I asks you no lies," she sang gaily as she ran
+in. O shades of Juliet and Cleopatra, what a
+woman that is&mdash;or what an idiot I am: I can't
+be sure which till I get an outside opinion.
+I'd give odds that within a fortnight Hartman
+will be far gone. It will be life or death for
+him, poor old man. But he's nigh dead now,
+inwardly speaking, and so has not much to
+lose. Anyway, he'll see that a world with
+Clarice in it is not as blank and chilly as he
+thinks it now&mdash;not by several thousand degrees.
+I fancy his thermometer will begin to
+go up pretty soon. He needs shaking up and
+turning inside out and upside down&mdash;a general
+ventilating, in fact, and I rather think Miss
+Elliston will administer it to him.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="Preparation" id="Preparation"></a>VI.</h3>
+
+<h4>PREPARATION.</h4>
+
+<p>I was mighty glad that Clarice felt this way
+about Hartman's coming; she has not waked
+up so, or come down from her Olympian
+clouds of indifference, in a long time. But
+still I thought it best to go around and make
+some more preparations. When I have a
+secret to carry, it oppresses my frank and open
+nature more than you would think; and I find
+that I can conceal it best by inquiring concerning
+the matter of it of persons who know nothing
+about it. Naturally I began with the
+head of the house. That is myself, I suppose,
+nominally; but every decent man allows his
+wife to fill the position, and get what comfort
+she can out of it.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span>
+"Mabel," I said, "I hope that Hartman will
+enjoy himself here."</p>
+
+<p>"You told us he was not given to enjoying
+himself; on the contrary, quite the reverse.
+No doubt he will take us as he finds us. He
+will hardly want to go out to dinner every
+day, and meet the Vanderdeck's and the foreign
+princess."</p>
+
+<p>"But, Mabel, I trust you are all prepared to
+meet him in the right spirit."</p>
+
+<p>"What absurd questions you ask, Robert.
+You talk as if he were a bishop, come to convert
+us: I thought we were to convert him. I
+hope I do not need to be instructed how to receive
+my husband's friends. And Jane is
+ready to take an interest in him: she can be
+very nice, you know."</p>
+
+<p>"And Clarice: will she do her part?"</p>
+
+<p>"Nobody knows what Clarice will do on
+any occasion. She would be more apt to do
+what you wish if you would not trouble her
+about Mr. Hartman. We are not three little
+maids from school, to be taught our manners.
+Why can you not learn that matters would
+move just as well, yes, and better, without
+your continual interference, dear? Your
+blunders only complicate them, and disturb
+the harmony."</p>
+
+<p>Now that is a nice way for the wife of one's
+bosom to talk, isn't it? How often, O how
+often, would I remove the clouds of care from
+her placid brow, and smooth her path through
+life by graceful persiflage and appropriate
+witticisms: but she does not seem to appreciate
+them. I fear she must have had some
+Scottish ancestors. Sometimes I think she
+does not appreciate <i>me</i>. It is a cold world;
+a cold, heartless, unfeeling, unresponsive
+world, in which the sensitive spirit may fly
+around promiscuously like Noah's dove, and
+have to stay out in a low temperature. Wisely
+and <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'benificently'">beneficently</ins> is it arranged that Virtue
+should be her own reward, since she gets no
+other. I will try Jane next.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span>
+"My dear sister, you know I go to town to-night,
+and expect to bring Hartman back.
+You will receive him kindly, for my sake,
+will you not?"</p>
+
+<p>Jane is a little prim at times, and I have
+to arrange my sentences carefully, when I am
+with her.</p>
+
+<p>"I will do that, of course: why so many
+words about it? Have you not been preparing
+me, and all of us, for this visit, for the last
+month? We know what is right, Robert: <i>your</i>
+behavior is the only doubtful part."</p>
+
+<p>"But Clarice, sister? She is always so
+doubtful, as Mabel says; so capricious, so
+haughty, so unapproachable. You have great
+influence with her. Dear Jane, can you not
+persuade her to treat my poor friend kindly?"</p>
+
+<p>"Now, brother, why will you be such an unconscionable
+humbug? We all know that you
+are in her confidence, when any one is. What
+were you two talking about all last evening?
+Hatching some plot, no doubt. But it was not
+intended to be practiced on me&mdash;not on her
+part; that is your unauthorized addition to
+her text." And the maiden assumed the part
+of Pallas, and gazed at me with severity, as if
+she would read my inmost soul. But she can't
+beat Clarice at that. See here, young lady,
+you are too sharp; you are getting dangerously
+near the truth. I came near saying this
+out, but did not. Instead I took an injured
+tone.</p>
+
+<p>"You are a pretty sister, Jane, to go about
+suspecting me this way, and accusing me of
+intrigue and hypocrisy, and all kinds of black-hearted
+wickedness. What would I want to
+deceive you for? You know we all have to
+consider Clarice, and humor her: she is an
+orphan, and we are her nearest friends. She
+amuses herself with me sometimes, for want of
+another man at hand, and then throws me
+aside when the fit is over."</p>
+
+<p>"O yes, we all know that, of course. Well,
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span>
+brother, you can go to town with an easy
+mind. Leave Mr. Hartman to Clarice and me;
+when she is not in the humor to attend to him,
+I will."</p>
+
+<p>Now how does Jane come to know so much?
+Has the Princess been taking her into the
+plan too, as well as me? That I don't believe.
+Clarice would expect Jane to take her cue by
+intuition, and not bother to coach her as she
+has me: perhaps she can trust Jane farther.
+That must be it: one woman can see into
+another's mind where a man couldn't. I must
+put a mark on that for future reference. They
+do beat us at some minor points. Well, I
+didn't exactly get the best of that encounter:
+it seems to me I owe Jane one, which I must
+try and remember to pay.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="Initiation" id="Initiation"></a>VII.</h3>
+
+<h4>INITIATION.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Hartman</span> arrived on schedule time, and was
+duly taken home with me. "Old man," I
+said, "welcome back to the amenities of life;
+to the tender charities of man and woman; to
+the ties, too long neglected, which bind your
+being to the world's glad heart. You are the
+prodigal returning from sowing his wild oats
+in the backwoods: the fatted calf shall be
+killed for you, in moderation, as per contract,
+and the home brewed ale drawn mild. We
+are quiet people, and live mostly by ourselves:
+that will suit your book. The giddy crowd,
+in its frivolous pursuit of amusement and
+fashion, surges by in the immediate vicinity,
+and old Ocean, in his storm-tost fury, dashes
+his restless waves upon our good back door,
+or adjacent thereto. But we give small heed
+to either one of them. The sea views and
+feminine costumes are supposed to be of the
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span>
+highest order, and there is polo at stated intervals,
+if you care for such; but these vanities
+have little to do with the calm current of our
+daily life. You will shortly have in front of
+you a christian family, united in bonds of
+long-tried affection and confidence. The
+earthly paradise, James, must be sought in the
+peaceful bosom of one's Home. After tossing
+on the angry billows of Water Street, how
+sweet to return to this haven of rest! And
+you too, world-worn and weary man of woes,
+shall receive attention. The furrows of care
+shall be smoothed out of your manly brow:
+gentle hands will bind up your wounds&mdash;even
+the one you got from that girl a dozen years
+ago, if it isn't healed yet. The shadows of
+gloomy and soul-debasing Theory will flit
+away from your bewildered brain, and in this
+healthful atmosphere your spirit will regain
+its long-lost tone, and embrace once more the
+ethereal images of Hope and Joy and Faith.
+Probably you will yet find some one to love in
+this wide world of sorrow; anyway, we hope
+to send you forth clothed and in your right
+mind."</p>
+
+<p>"I hope I'm properly clothed now, or will
+be with what I've got in my trunk; and I
+need to be in my right mind to take in all this
+eloquence. I was mistaken about you, Bob;
+you should have been a preacher. The only
+drawback is, you don't stick to one key long
+enough: these sudden changes in your woodnotes
+wild might confuse a congregation."</p>
+
+<p>"The church lacks vivacity and sense of
+humor, Jim: she's all for a dull monotone.
+Old Fuller is dead: his mantle descended on
+me, but they don't appreciate that style nowadays.
+To return to our topic, and deal with
+the duty that lies nearest. In an humble and
+pottering way, we are a happy family, James.
+We envy not the rich and great: seek elsewhere
+their gilded saloons, and tinsel trappings
+of pride; but you will find things pretty
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span>
+comfortable. I regret to say we'll have to do
+our smoking out of doors; but it is generally
+warm enough for that. If we are noted for
+anything, it is for modest contentment, unassuming
+virtue, and cheerful candor&mdash;just as
+you see them in me. Each face reflects the
+genuine emotions and guileless innocence of
+the heart connected therewith; more than
+that, they reflect one another, as in a glass.
+You can look at Mabel, and see all that is
+passing in my capacious bosom. We share
+each other's woes, each other's burdens bear,
+and if we don't drop the sympathizing tear
+frequently, it is because there is very seldom
+any call for it. We have no secrets from one
+another: limpid and pure flows the confidential
+stream&mdash;but it flows no further than the
+fence. You can say what you like to any of
+us, and it will not go out of the house&mdash;unless
+the servants overhear it; you'll have to look
+out for that, of course."</p>
+
+<p>"See here, Bob; judging by you, I had no
+idea I was coming among such apostolic manners,
+or I'd have taken a course of À Kempis.
+Are there any prayer-meetings near by, where
+I can go to freshen up?"</p>
+
+<p>"Within a mile or two, no doubt. Jane can
+tell you about them; she can lend you a prayer-book,
+anyway. But I was not meaning to
+discourage you: they will make allowances.
+My wife is an exemplary woman; if you want
+to get on with her, you'll have to take an
+interest in Herbert's bruises when he falls
+over the banisters. He is the only one of the
+children who will trouble you much; the
+others are small yet, happily. My sister is a
+pattern of propriety, but of rather an inquiring
+mind, and sympathetic if you take her the
+right way: she can talk with you about philosophy
+and science and your dried-up old
+doxies. Not that she knows anything about
+Schopenhauer, and Darwin, and Diogenes, of
+course; but she's heard their names, and she'll
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span>
+pretend to be posted&mdash;you know how women
+are. And when you need a mental tonic&mdash;the
+companionship of a robust intellect, the
+stimulus of wide acquaintance with the great
+world of men and things, a manly comprehension
+of any difficulties that you may meet, or
+sound and wise advice how to steer your way
+through the pitfalls and intricacies of the
+female character&mdash;in such cases, which will no
+doubt often arise, you have only to come to
+me. I know all about these matters, of which
+you have had no experience. I'll be at home
+as much as possible while you are there, and
+I'll stand by you, Jim."</p>
+
+<p>"Thanks, awfully&mdash;as I believe they say
+where we are going. Yes, you will be an invaluable
+mentor, Bob. Well, I'll try not to
+disgrace you. It is late: let us turn in."</p>
+
+<p>This important conversation took place on
+the boat. You see, when I was with Hartman
+in May, he took the lead; but in my own
+house, or on the way to it, I like to be cock of
+the walk. Besides, as I had prepared the
+women for his coming, so now it was necessary
+to prepare his mind to meet them. In my
+picture of our domestic felicity, I may have
+laid on some tints too heavily, as about our
+mutual confidence. But he will soon see how
+that is. You may notice that I said nothing
+about the Princess. There was a deep design
+in that omission. When the orb of day in all
+his glory bursts from his liquid bed upon the
+astonished gaze of some lonely wanderer on
+the Andes, or the Alps,&mdash;or our own Rockies,
+say,&mdash;the spectacle is all the more effective if
+the wanderer was not expecting anything of
+the kind; didn't suppose it was time yet, or,
+still better, didn't know there was any sun.
+That is the way Jim will feel when he sees
+Clarice. If he has forgotten about her wanting
+to go up there in the woods in <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: 'May.' with a period">May,</ins> O. K.;
+that will meet her views, and he'll be reminded
+of her existence soon enough.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span>
+This is one of those delicate ideas which
+might not occur to the male mind unassisted:
+in fact, left to my native nothingness, I should
+probably have enlarged on her charms most
+of the evening. But she laid special stress on
+this point, that I was to say as little as possible
+about her beforehand, and fortunately I remembered
+it. Hartman thinks he is going to
+have a safe and easy time with me and two
+highly respectable ladies of sedate minds and
+settled habits. Sleep on, deluded James,
+while I finish my cigar here on deck: dream
+of the forest and the trout brooks, and your
+neighbor Hodge and your old tomcat. By
+to-morrow night your mental horizon will be
+enlarged, and when you return to your castle
+in the wilderness there will be some new sensations
+tugging at your vitals. It will be a
+change for you, old man, and you needed one.
+Well, I've given you enough to think of for
+now, and you'll get more before you are a
+week older. I hope he will come through it
+right: it is like taking one's friend to the surgeon
+to undergo an operation, when he doesn't
+know that anything ails him or is going to be
+done. Poor old Jim, I wouldn't have put up
+such a job on you if I didn't believe it was for
+your good. I am not a pessimist like you: I
+believe in God and the Princess.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><a name="Introduction" id="Introduction"></a>VIII.</h3>
+
+<h4>INTRODUCTION.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The</span> drive from the wharf is too long: I
+often think that the older part of the town
+ought to be submerged, or removed to one of
+the adjacent islands. We met the family at
+breakfast, and I said, "Ladies, you see before
+you a wild man of the woods, brought hither
+to be subdued and civilized by your gentle
+ministrations. By the way, Mabel, there was
+a corner in oil yesterday. I made fourteen
+thousand, and Simpkins went under; so you
+can have that new gown now." They paid
+no attention whatever to these pleasantries.
+Clarice was not there, or the sparkling fount
+of humor would have flowed less freely.</p>
+
+<p>Hartman has very good manners when
+he chooses, and in my house he would naturally
+choose; so he got on well enough. The
+children took to him at once, and he seemed
+to take to them. After breakfast I led him
+out for a walk, to show him the points of interest.
+Several very creditable cottages have
+been put up since he was here last: in fact,
+this is quite a growing place, for the country.
+As we went back he suddenly said, "Bob, who
+is this Clarice that your sister mentioned at
+the table? Fancy name, isn't it?"</p>
+
+<p>"O no," I said as indifferently as I could.
+He ought not to go springing her on me in
+that way: it makes a man nervous. "She's
+an orphan; a sort of cousin of Mrs. T. Got no
+brothers or sisters, and all that sort of thing;
+so we look after her a good deal. Sometimes
+she's with us, sometimes she's not. Was south
+all winter: got back while I was up there with
+you."</p>
+
+<p>Now what the deuce did I say that for? It'll
+brush up his rusty mental machinery, and
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span>
+help him to recall what she wants forgotten.
+Just so; of course.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, I remember. She thought of joining
+you with Miss Jane. I wish you had let them
+come."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, you see, you don't know what these
+girls are used to; I do. There were no fit
+quarters for them at Hodge's. I had gone
+and written my wife a lot of rot, pretending
+his place was much better than it is."</p>
+
+<p>"With your usual unassuming virtue and
+cheerful candor; yes. We have no secrets
+from one another: the limpid stream of confidence
+flows unchecked and unpolluted. Just
+so. But see here, you old hypocrite, if there
+is another young woman in the family, you
+ought to have told me about her last night,
+when you were preparing my mind, you know,
+and pretending to explain the whole domestic
+situation.&mdash;Great heavens, who's that?"</p>
+
+<p>We had turned a corner, and come plump
+on the house; and there on the piazza, two
+rods away, sat a rare and radiant maiden,
+playing cat's cradle with my eldest son and
+heir. I can't tell you how she was dressed;
+but she was a phantom of delight when thus
+she broke upon our sight; a lovely apparition,
+sent to be Jim Hartman's blandishment. At
+least so it seemed, for he stood there and stared
+like a noble savage. As when the lightning
+descends on the giant oak in its primeval solitude&mdash;but
+I must stop this; she is too near,
+though she pretends not to see us yet. So I
+whispered in low and warning <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: tones; with a semi-colon">tones</ins>:</p>
+
+<p>"Brace up, Jim. She's not the one you
+met here twelve years ago, who jilted you at
+Naples: this one wasn't out of her Fourth
+Reader then. Don't get them mixed, or be
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'decieved'">deceived</ins> by a chance resemblance." I thought
+it was better to lay his embarrassment on that
+old affair, you see. But that was all nonsense:
+he never saw anybody like Clarice before&mdash;how
+should he?</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span>
+"Confound you, Bob," he muttered between
+his teeth, "so you've been practising your
+openhearted innocence on me. Get on with
+it now, and finish it up."</p>
+
+<p>He pulled himself together, and I went
+through the introduction with due decorum;
+then I got away as soon as I could. You see,
+I was unmanned by the spectacle of so much
+young emotion, and somewhat exhausted by
+my own recent exertions. I found a cool
+corner in the library; and presently Jane had
+to come in. "What is the matter with you,
+Robert? Why do you sit there grinning like
+an idiot?" Perhaps a smile of benevolence
+had overspread my striking countenance; and
+that's the way she distorts it. I could not tell
+her what pleased me, so I said I had been
+reading a comic paper. "You write your own
+comic papers, I suspect; and bad enough they
+are. If you go on at this rate, you will end by
+editing the <i>Texas Siftings</i>. Do try to be decent,
+brother, while you have a guest in the house."
+I suppose she thinks that is a crushing rebuke,
+now. I said I would try, and told her she had
+better join Clarice and Hartman, who would
+probably be tired of each other by this time.
+Here again I have played into the Princess'
+hands. She doesn't want Jim to see too much
+of her at first, but to get used to the blinding
+glare by degrees, and take his physic in small
+doses, until he can bear it in larger. At least
+I hope so: if I've made a mistake and spoiled
+the procession, I'll learn it soon enough. But
+Jane wouldn't go unless it was right: that's
+the good of being a woman. You don't catch
+me interrupting them, or going near the Princess
+when she has any of her procedures on
+foot, unless I am called.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><a name="At_Newport" id="At_Newport"></a>IX.</h3>
+
+<h4>AT NEWPORT.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">I could</span> not tell you all that occurred that
+week; but it went exactly as Clarice intended
+and had foretold. She was gracious and equable
+and gentle, a model young lady of the
+social-domestic type; but Hartman did not see
+much of her. I on my part was kept
+steadily occupied, what with boats, and
+horses, and parasols, and fans, and wools,
+and wide hats, and more things than you
+could think of. It was, "Robert, come out on
+the cliffs," or "Robert, get my garden gloves,
+please; they are in the sitting-room, or somewhere
+else;" or "Robert, take me to town;
+I must telegraph to Constance;" or "Bob
+dear, would you mind running over to Miss
+Bliffson's, and telling her that I can't go to the
+Society this afternoon; and on your way back,
+stop at the milliner's and see if my hat is
+done." I usually attended to these commissions
+promptly; when you have women about,
+your generous heart will rejoice to protect
+and indulge their helplessness. They are the
+clinging vine, you are the sturdy oak; and
+then, as I said, Clarice is an orphan. Hartman
+at first showed an inclination to relieve
+me of the lighter part of these useful avocations,
+such as taking her about over the rocks
+and in the bay; but she very quietly, and without
+the least discourtesy, made him understand
+that no foreigners need apply for that
+situation. Other men were coming after her
+every day, but she avoided them or sent them
+to the right about: she can do that in a way
+to make you feel that you have received a
+favor. She kept reminding me that it was my
+business to wait on her: if these things were
+paid for in cash, I should want high wages,
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span>
+for the duties are far from light. But I can
+stand it: within the bosom of Robert T. glows
+a spark of warm and pure philanthropy.
+When I see my fellow-creatures in need, and
+this good right arm refuses to extend its
+friendly aid, may my hand cleave to the roof
+of my mouth&mdash;O well, you know what I
+mean. I used to retire to my meagre and
+philosophic cot-bedstead with aching limbs
+and an approving conscience: I never was
+worked so hard before. Some of these
+errands were perfectly needless, I knew. She
+can't want to get me out of the way for an
+hour or two, for I am never <i>in</i> the way; nor
+simply to show what she can do, for that is an
+old story, familiar to all concerned. Doubtless
+she has some high moral end in view;
+perhaps to teach Hartman what are the true
+relations of man and woman, and how the
+nobler animal can be trained to be a helpmeet
+and boy-of-all-work to the weaker. Whether
+this will suit his views I doubt; but she
+knows what she is about. It is mine not to
+question why, mine not to make reply, mine
+simply to go on doing what my hand finds to
+do&mdash;of which there is quite enough at present.
+Meanwhile, everybody else is having a nice
+easy time, while I am laboring like six dray-horses
+for the general good. Hartman sits
+about with Jane, and they seem to be getting
+on finely. Mabel also appears to enjoy his
+society. Sometimes she looks at me and at
+Clarice, and then at Jim, in a way which
+might indicate a notion that things are too
+much mixed, and that the Princess ought to
+be giving her attention to Hartman's case. I
+think so too, but it is not for me to suggest it.
+I feel like asking Mrs. T. what all these complications
+mean, and why she does not
+straighten them out: she is Clarice's relative
+and hostess, and head of the house when I am
+away. But it will straighten itself pretty soon
+now, and a new tangle will begin for the predestined
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span>
+victim. Wild man of the woods,
+your hour will soon strike, and the grim executioner
+in the black mask will prepare to take
+your head off. You will see a hand not clearly
+visible to the outside world&mdash;a very beautiful
+hand it is too, as I ought to know&mdash;that will
+beckon you to your doom: you will hear a
+voice whose silvery music will drown all fears,
+all scruples, all world-sick longings for your
+woman-hating moods, all memories of your
+lost Lenore of long ago, and tell you that
+resistance and delay are vain. What the
+details of the process may be, and whether joy
+or woe will tip the scales for one who takes
+things as seriously as you do, I cannot tell;
+but it is coming, and it is coming presently.
+You may not like it: you are
+not used to it as I am; but you cannot
+help yourself. Farewell to the old life,
+the old delusions, the old fancied knowledge:
+you will find yourself a small boy in primary
+school, beginning the world anew. You think
+you are locked up in steel, defended by your
+indifference, your disgust, your unbelief in
+Life. These glittering generalities will fall
+into dust before the wand of a magician who
+has some eminently particular business with
+you. You have sounded the depths, and
+found them shallow; you have tested values,
+and they are less than nothing, and vanity;
+you have emptied the pincushion, and only
+bran is there. My skeptical friend, a sharp
+needle is there yet, and it will prick your finger:
+there are depths that you know nothing
+about, and heights too, it may be: there are
+thrills of life that will go through all your
+veins, and show you that you are not as near
+dead as you supposed. You were but a boy
+when that girl gave you your quietus, as you
+imagined; you are a man now, with more in
+you than you fancy, and another girl may
+bring you to life. Still in your ashes live
+their ancient fires, and I'm mistaken if they
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span>
+don't start a superior blaze before long. Well,
+well, I hope it will make a man of you.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="On_the_Cliffs" id="On_the_Cliffs"></a>X.</h3>
+
+<h4>ON THE CLIFFS.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">I was</span> betrayed into the above apostrophe
+by the violence of my sympathies; but the
+lucid and graphic sentences which precede
+this moralizing ably sum up the situation during
+the first week of Hartman's visit. A good
+deal of wisdom was in circulation: I said
+some things myself which deserve to be
+remembered, and the others occasionally dropt
+a remark which showed how the ball was
+moving. You will want the chief of these
+outpourings in order of time, as landmarks in
+this history.</p>
+
+<p>Clarice took me apart the first day and
+began to cross-examine me: that is, she told
+me to go outside and wait for her, and by
+the time she came it was dusk. Why is it
+that the garish day seems to freeze our finer
+emotions, and reduce us to the monotonous level
+of a dull cold practicality? It is under the
+calm light of moon and stars that soul speaks
+to soul, and we gain those subtler experiences,
+those deeper views of our own nature and that
+of our nearest and dearest, which so far transcend
+the plodding sciences of the laboratory,
+the useless learning of the pedant, and the
+empty wisdom of the children of this world.</p>
+
+<p>"Come, Robert, wake up; don't sit mooning
+there like a calf. Make your report."</p>
+
+<p>"Report?" said I, thus rudely startled from
+a train of thought which might have borne
+rich fruit for coming generations. "What
+about?"</p>
+
+<p>"What about? You forget yourself.
+Whose employ are you in?"</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span>
+"Well, on Water Street I am supposed to be
+carrying on business for myself, and at home I
+am the envied husband and father of a happy
+and admiring family. Clarice, I was meditating
+on subjects of much moment; and the
+duties of hospitality claim my valuable time.
+Did you wish to speak to me particularly?"</p>
+
+<p>"None of your nonsense, now. What did
+you talk about last night on the boat?"</p>
+
+<p>"All sorts of things. My conversation is
+always improving. I explained to Jim that
+his reëntrance on society could not be made
+under fairer auspices; that models of deportment
+and of all the virtues would be about
+him on every hand; that a pure atmosphere
+of love and peace pervaded this modest mansion;
+that joy was unconfined; that we could
+lay our weary heads on each other's bosoms
+in the repose of perfect trust, knowing that
+not a thought entered any one of them which
+the angels above might not look into with
+satisfaction, and&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"You talk too much about bosoms, Robert:
+it is not in good taste. What did you say
+about me?"</p>
+
+<p>"Divil a word, bedad. Wasn't that right?
+Didn't you tell me to keep dark, and not
+mention you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Not unnecessarily. But didn't he ask?"</p>
+
+<p>"He'd forgotten all about you. Now, Princess,
+don't be offended; there was next to nothing
+to forget, you know. It's not as if he had
+ever seen you, or really heard anything about
+you. O, I'll talk you up to him whenever
+you say so; to-night, if you like. But I thought
+his forgetting was what you wanted. Didn't
+I manage it well? Do own that now, please.
+Let those cerulean orbs shed one ray of gentle
+light upon the path of a weary wayfarer&mdash;yes,
+that's better. Have I merited your
+approval, Serene Highness?"</p>
+
+<p>"You've done very well&mdash;for you. But
+was it necessary to tell so many lies, Bob?"</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span>
+"Now <i>that</i> is not in good taste, if I am a
+judge&mdash;to put such ugly names upon the
+graceful fancies with which I decorate the
+plain, rude facts of everyday life. What are
+we without Imagination, that glorious gift
+which causes the desert to rejoice and blossom
+like your little flower-bed in the back yard at
+home? You know, Clarice, that my mind is
+a deep clear well of Truth, and my lips merely
+the bucket that draws it up. Where will you
+get candor and veracity, those priceless pearls,
+if not from me?"</p>
+
+<p>"Robert, you have fallen into this way of
+practising your little tricks and deceptions on
+everybody. O, I know you mean no harm;
+it is merely for your own amusement. But
+Mabel and Jane don't quite understand it."</p>
+
+<p>"Couldn't you explain it to them, Clarice?
+Some people have no sense of humor. I can't
+well go around saying, This is a joke; please
+take it in the spirit in which it is offered."</p>
+
+<p>"O, it does no great harm: they are very
+seldom deceived, and perhaps they will learn
+to make allowances for you by and by. But
+you may be tempted to try your games on me:
+if I ever catch you at that&mdash;Remember, I am
+not to be trifled with."</p>
+
+<p>"Perish the thought, and perish the caitiff
+base who would harbor it. Princess, you are
+sharper than I. Do you think I would be fool
+enough to try any tricks on you, when I
+should be found out at once?"</p>
+
+<p>"People generally find you out at once, but
+that doesn't seem to stop you. How can I
+tell whether I can trust you? I don't believe
+you know yourself when you are serious&mdash;if
+you ever are."</p>
+
+<p>"There is one subject on which I am serious&mdash;deeply
+so, and always. Clarice, when I die,
+if you will see that the autopsy is properly performed,
+you will find your initials, as the poet
+says, neatly engraven on my blighted heart."</p>
+
+<p>"Robert, sometimes I fear you have incipient
+softening of the brain."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span>
+"And if I have, is not that a reason why I
+should be watched and guarded tenderly&mdash;why
+loving arms should enfold my tottering frame,
+and sweet smiles cheer my declining path, and
+a strong firm brain like yours support my failing
+intellect? Clarice, be gentle with me. I am
+an orphan like yourself; soon, if you read the
+future aright, to be laid beneath the cold clods
+of the valley. When I am sleeping under the
+daisies in the lonely churchyard, you will say
+to yourself, He was my friend, my more than
+brother: he loved me with a loyal and self-oblivious
+devotion. And then, in those sad
+hours of vain remembrance, every unkind
+word that you have spoken, all the coldness
+and cruelty which have pierced my patient
+breast, will return to torture yours. Be
+warned in time, Clarice, and make it easy for
+me while you have the chance."</p>
+
+<p>"Robert, if you have a talent, it is for shirking
+a subject you are afraid of. When you
+go off like this, I know you are hiding something
+from me. What is it this time?"</p>
+
+<p>I saw things were getting serious. She was
+bound to get it out of me, and I might as well
+give in. "Princess, I will confess, and throw
+myself on your mercy. Strike, but hear me.
+It won't pay you to be cross now, for you've
+got to be with me till you conclude to take
+Hartman up; we can't be quarrelling all the
+time, you know. He asked me about you this
+morning; Jane had spoken of you at breakfast.
+I put him off with general remarks
+about your being down south last winter, and
+the like of that; then suddenly my brain
+slipped&mdash;it <i>is</i> softening, you see&mdash;and I said
+you had come back when I was in the woods
+with him. That started him, and he recalled
+your notion of going up there."</p>
+
+<p>"You are sure you didn't mention it yourself?
+What did he say?"</p>
+
+<p>"Merely that he wished I had let you and
+Jane come. He likes Jane. Upon my honor
+now, he had no suspicion of anything."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span>
+"You goose, how often have I told you
+there was nothing to suspect? But men are
+so coarse. Well, is that all? What else are
+you trying to conceal?"</p>
+
+<p>"On my soul, Princess, that's all. I explained
+it all right, and he was commencing
+to berate me for not preparing him to meet
+you as well as the others, when we suddenly
+came on you, and you struck him deaf and
+dumb and blind. He swore at me under his
+breath just before I introduced him." Here
+my feelings overcame me again.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, there's no harm done. But you
+really must be more careful, Bob. Try and
+make your poor mind work better while it
+lasts; don't forget my instructions again, and
+when you have made a blunder, tell me at
+once. You are so light, so devoted to your
+frivolous amusements; you seem to be drifting
+into second childhood, thirty years too soon.
+If you had an object, now, a serious purpose
+in life: if you really cared for anything&mdash;even
+for me!"</p>
+
+<p>She cuts me when she talks like that.
+"Clarice, my regard for you is so undemonstrative
+that you fail to appreciate its depth.
+If I were to make a fuss over it, now, and use
+a lot of endearing epithets and big professions,
+perhaps you would believe me. Some time
+you will know whether I care for you or not;
+whether I've got anything in me, and am
+capable of acting like a man. You wait and
+see. But I wish I knew what you are going
+to do with poor Jim."</p>
+
+<p>"Some time you will know: you wait and
+see. You can go and comfort him now. Good
+night, poor Bob."</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><a name="Explanations" id="Explanations"></a>XI.</h3>
+
+<h4>EXPLANATIONS.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">I went</span> and comforted him. "Well, old
+man," I said with a cheerful air, "how do you
+get on?"</p>
+
+<p>"Robert," said he, "do you suppose I would
+have come here if I had known what an
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'atvocious'">atrocious</ins> humbug you are? Do you imagine
+for a moment that my relatives, if I had any,
+would have subjected my innocence to such
+insidious guardianship? Have you brought
+me here to destroy my faith, and pollute my
+morals, and poison my young life with the
+spectacle of your turpitude?"</p>
+
+<p>"You're improving already, Jim. When I
+saw you last you hadn't any faith, nor much
+morals; your youth was away back in the
+past, and your strength was dried up like railroad
+doughnuts; you were ready to fall with
+the first leaves of autumn. Well, since you
+are here, you can stay till you see how you
+like us. What do you think of Clarice?"</p>
+
+<p>"She has given me no basis on which to
+think of her, beyond her looks; they rather
+take one's breath away. You beast, what do
+you mean by springing a face like that on me
+without warning, after all your humbugging
+talk last night, pretending to post me on every
+one I was to meet? And I say, do you always
+stand guard over her when anybody comes
+near?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, you see, you were so overcome by
+the first sight of her this morning, that it
+seemed no more than fair to let you recover
+your breath, as you say, and get used to her
+by degrees. But, James, this is unseemly
+levity on your part. What have we to do
+with girls? Let us leave them to the baser
+spirits who have use for them. The world's
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span>
+a bubble, and the life of man of no account at
+all. We have tried it, and it is empty; hark,
+it sounds. Vain pomp and glory of it all, we
+hate ye. Ye tinsel <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'gands'">gauds</ins>, ye base embroideries,
+ye female fripperies, have but our scorn.
+What are flashing eyes, and tossing ringlets,
+and rosy lips, and jewelled fingers, to minds
+like ours? Let us go off to the Nitrian desert,
+Jim, away from this eternal simper, this harrowing
+routine."</p>
+
+<p>"You must have been reading up lately,
+my boy. I left all that in the woods, Bob,
+and came down here in good faith for a change
+of air, prepared to learn anything you might
+have to teach me. If you've got any more
+traps and masked batteries, let them loose on
+me; practice on me to your heart's content.
+You've undertaken to convert me, and I'm
+here to give you a chance: a fine old apostle
+you are. But I don't quite understand Miss
+Elliston's position here, Bob."</p>
+
+<p>"Her position here, or anywhere else, is
+that she does about as she pleases, and makes
+everybody else do it too, as you will see before
+your hair is gray, my learned friend. As I
+may have told you, we are her nearest relatives:
+she is an orphan."</p>
+
+<p>"Parents been dead long?"</p>
+
+<p>"About seventeen years. What's that got
+to do with it?"</p>
+
+<p>"O, not much; don't be so suspicious. Do
+you think I'm trying to play some trick on
+you, after your model? How should I, a helpless
+stranger in a strange land, betrayed by
+the friend in whom I trusted? I'm an orphan
+myself too. So that Miss Elliston is in a
+measure dependent on your kindness?"</p>
+
+<p>"O, don't fancy that she's a poor relation,
+or anything of that sort. She's got more cash
+than she wants, and loads of friends: had
+twenty invitations for the summer. If you
+don't behave to suit her, she's liable to go off
+any day to Bar Harbor, or Saratoga, or the
+Yosemite, or Kamtchatka."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span>
+"Very good of her, to stay here with you,
+then."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Mabel is deeply attached to her; so
+is Jane, and the children of course. Her
+parents and mine were close friends in the country&mdash;where
+I came from, you know. She and
+I were brought up together; that is, she was&mdash;I
+was mostly brought up before her appearance
+on this mundane sphere. We used to play
+in the haymow, and fall from the apple trees
+together, and all that. O, Clarice is quite a
+sister to me&mdash;a pretty good sister too, all things
+considered."</p>
+
+<p>"And you are quite a brother to her, as I
+see. Strange, that it never
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'occured'">occurred</ins> to mention
+her, when you were describing the various
+members of your family. Does her mind match
+her personal attractions?"</p>
+
+<p>"She's got as good a head as you have, old
+man, or any other male specimen I've struck.
+I myself meet her on almost equal terms. O,
+hang that; I don't either. This is no subject
+for profane jesting. Talk about the inferiority
+of women! If the moralists and stump-speakers
+had one like her at home, they'd
+change their tune. But there are no more
+like her."</p>
+
+<p>"You speak warmly, Bob. To Clarice every
+virtue under heaven. Beautiful, brilliant, accomplished,
+amiable; you are a happy man to
+have such an annex to your household&mdash;even
+if she wasn't worth naming at the start."</p>
+
+<p>"Amiable&mdash;who said she was amiable?
+Leave that to commonplace women and plain
+everyday fellows like me. You can't expect
+that of her sort, Jim. She can be very nice
+when she pleases. I suppose she has a heart;
+it has never waked up yet. When it does, it
+will be a big one. We don't expect the
+plebeian virtues of her."</p>
+
+<p>"She has a conscience, I hope? If not, it
+might be better to go away, and stay away.
+You ought not to keep dangerous compounds
+about the house, Bob."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span>
+"She won't explode&mdash;though others may.
+A conscience? I think so. She couldn't do a
+mean thing. She keeps a promise: she has
+more sense of justice than most women. But
+you can't apply ordinary rules to her. She is
+of the blood royal: the Princess, we call her.
+Can't you see, Jim? You are man enough to
+take her measure, so far as any one can."</p>
+
+<p>"I see her outside; it is worth coming here
+to see, if I were an artist or an æsthete. She
+has deigned to show me no more as yet."</p>
+
+<p>"It is all of a piece: the rest matches that,
+as you will see in time. There is but one
+Clarice."</p>
+
+<p>"Bob, you are different from last night. I
+believe you are telling the truth now."</p>
+
+<p>"She sobers you. When you have been
+with her, when you think of her, it is as if you
+were in church&mdash;only a good deal more so."</p>
+
+<p>"Very convenient and edifying, to have
+such a private chapel in one's house. Bob, in
+this mood I can trust you. Tell me one thing:
+why did you never mention her to me?"</p>
+
+<p>"She doesn't wish me to talk of her to
+strangers."</p>
+
+<p>"And now the prohibition is removed?"</p>
+
+<p>"You are not a stranger now. She knows
+you, and you have seen her."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, you are loyal. Does she appreciate
+such fidelity?"</p>
+
+<p>"We are very good friends. From childhood
+we have been more together than most
+brothers and sisters. More or less, I have
+always been to her as I am now. She is used
+to me. I do not ask too much of her. Don't
+fancy that I am in her confidence, or any one:
+she has a royal reserve. See here, Jim; I am
+making you one of the family."</p>
+
+<p>"I understand. I must ask you one thing:
+why did you bring me here, to expose me to
+all this?"</p>
+
+<p>"You needed a change, Jim, as you half
+owned just now; almost any change would be
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span>
+for the better. I wanted you to see the world
+again: there is in it nothing fairer or richer
+than Clarice."</p>
+
+<p>"You go on as if she were a saint; and yet
+you say she's not."</p>
+
+<p>"You can answer that yourself, Jim. She's
+far from it: you and I are not saint-worshippers.
+But she has it in her to be a saint, if her attention
+and her latent force were turned that
+way. She can be anything, or do anything.
+She hasn't found her life yet. She bides her
+time, and I wait with her. Her wings will
+sprout some day. I like her well enough as
+she is."</p>
+
+<p>"Evidently. Do you know, old man, that
+you are talking very freely?"</p>
+
+<p>"Am I the first? or do you suppose I would
+say all this to any chance comer? You
+opened your soul to me in May, as far as you
+knew it: you are welcome to see into mine
+now."</p>
+
+<p>"There is a difference. I cared for nothing,
+and believed in nothing; so my soul was worth
+little. Yours is that of a prosperous and
+happy man."</p>
+
+<p>"Externals are not the measure of the soul,
+Jim, nor yet creeds. I know a gentleman when I
+see him, and so do you. Your soul will get its
+food yet, and assume its full stature; you've
+been trying to starve it partly, that's all."</p>
+
+<p>"Do you talk this way to your Princess,
+Bob?"</p>
+
+<p>"No. She is younger than we: why should
+I bore her? You and I are on equal terms:
+she and I are not."</p>
+
+<p>"This <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'humilty'">humility</ins> is very chivalric, but I don't
+quite understand it in you, Bob."</p>
+
+<p>"You can't: you've been so long unused to
+women, and you never knew one like her. If
+you had, it would have been too early; what
+does a boy of twenty know of himself, or of
+the girls he thinks he is in love with, or of the
+true relations that should exist between him
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span>
+and them? Call it quixotic if you like; I
+don't mind. Any gentleman, that is, any
+spiritual man, has it in him to be a Quixote.
+When you come to know Clarice, you will
+understand."</p>
+
+<p>"Do you call yourself and me spiritual men,
+Bob?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes; why not? Spirituality does not depend
+on the opinions one chances to hold, but
+on the view he takes of his own part in Life, and
+on the inherent nature of his soul. We are
+not worshippers of mammon, or fashion, or any
+of the idols of the tribe. I live in the world,
+and you out of it; but that makes little difference.
+You were in danger of becoming a
+dogmatist, but you are too much of a man for
+that. We both live to learn, and we can spend
+ourselves on an adequate object when we
+find it."</p>
+
+<p>"Bob, if you don't talk to her like this, she
+doesn't know you as I do."</p>
+
+<p>"No human being knows another exactly as
+a third does. We strike fire at different points&mdash;when
+we do at all, which is seldom&mdash;and
+show different sides of ourselves to such few as
+can see at all. She does not care especially for
+me: why should she? But she has great
+penetration&mdash;more than you have, far more
+than I. She sees my follies and faults as you
+don't; she is a sort of a confessor. At
+present she is a Sunday-school teacher, and
+I am her class."</p>
+
+<p>"What <i>do</i> you talk of, all the time?"</p>
+
+<p>"It's not all the time, by any means. That
+is as she pleases; just now it may be a good
+deal. By and by it may be your turn: then
+you'll know some things you don't now.
+There is nothing I say to her which the world
+might not overhear, if the world could understand
+it; and nothing that I can repeat. Jim,
+I am done: we are up very late."</p>
+
+<p>"Two things I must say yet, or ask, old
+man. You would stand by this girl against
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span>
+the world; and yet you have charged yourself
+with me. It may be idle to formulate remote
+and improbable contingencies, but it is in our
+line. Would you take her part against me,
+and be my enemy&mdash;you who are my only
+friend?"</p>
+
+<p>"I would stand by her against the world,
+assuredly. I would stand by you against all
+the world but her, I think. You two might
+quarrel, but neither of you would be wrong:
+I know you both, and you don't know each
+other. So I take the risk; it is none. When
+that time comes, neither of you will find me
+wanting."</p>
+
+<p>"I believe it. The other thing is this&mdash;forgive
+me if I go too far. Do you know what
+even intelligent and charitable people would
+say of all this? That it was very queer, very
+mixed, very dubious."</p>
+
+<p>"They are not our judges, nor we theirs.
+What would they say of your theories, and
+your way of life? To be sure, these concern
+yourself alone. So is this inwardly my affair;
+it binds, it holds no other. Must a man live
+in the woods, to form his own ethical code?
+Here too one may keep clean hands and a
+pure heart, and do his own thinking. Life is
+very queer, very mixed, very dubious; I take
+it as it comes. O, I see truth here and there
+in your notions of it, though it has done well
+by me. If I find in it something unique and
+precious, shall I thrust that aside, because the
+statutes have not provided for such a case?
+But one thing I can reject, so that for me it is
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: not; with a semi-colon">not</ins>: the baser element. Gross selfishness and
+vulgar passions are no more in my scheme
+than in yours: if their suggestions were to
+rise, it would be easy to disown them. The
+human beasts who let their lower nature rule,
+the animals who care for themselves and call
+it caring for another, are not of our society.
+O yes, in common things one must get and
+keep his own&mdash;the body must have its food;
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span>
+but one's private temple is kept for worship,
+and owns a different law. It is not always,
+nor often, that one can build his shrine on
+earth, and enter it every day: when a man
+has that exceptional privilege, he must and
+may keep his standards high enough to fit.
+You understand?"</p>
+
+<p>"I do: I am learning. I knew all this in
+theory, but supposed it ended there. And
+your Princess, you think is of our society?"</p>
+
+<p>"No root of nobleness is lacking in her;
+when the season comes, the plants will spring
+and the garden bloom. But we cannot expect
+to understand her fully; she is of finer clay
+than we."</p>
+
+<p>"One thing more, and then I will let you
+go. There is more of you than I thought, my
+boy. In May I knew you had a heart; but
+one who heard you in the woods would have
+set you down just for a kindly, practical man
+of the world. Last night, and most of the
+time to-day, you were the trifler, the incorrigible
+jester. Why do you belie yourself so
+and hide your inmost self from all but me?"</p>
+
+<p>"Because I've got to convert you, old man.
+It is a poor instrument that has but a single
+string; and David's harp of solemn sound
+would bore me as much as it would other folks,
+if I tried to play on it all the time. How
+many people would sit out this talk of ours,
+or read it if we put it in print? Taken all in
+all, the light fantastic measure suits me much
+better. To see all sides, we must take all
+tones. The varying moods within fit the
+varying facts without; to get at truth we must
+give each its turn. But in the main it is best
+to take Life lightly. Your error was that
+you were too serious about it: it's not worth
+that. Most things are chiefly fit to laugh at.
+The highgrand style will do once in a way:
+we've worked it too hard now. Let's come
+down to earth. I wanted to show you that I
+could do the legitimate drama as well as you,
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span>
+and yet wear a tall hat and dress for dinner.
+See?"</p>
+
+<p>"That's all very well, Bob, but I can discriminate
+between your seriousness and your
+farce. Perhaps it is well to mix them, or to
+take them as they are mixed for us. You may
+be right in that; I'll think it over. Yes, I
+can see now that Heraclitus overdoes it, and
+that I used to. Well, my lad, you are a queer
+professor of ethics; but I'm not sure you've
+brought me to the wrong school."</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="Awakening" id="Awakening"></a>XII.</h3>
+
+<h4>AWAKENING.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The</span> next day Clarice took me off as usual.
+"Well, have you made any more blunders?"</p>
+
+<p>"Not one. You have nothing to reproach
+me with this time, Czarina."</p>
+
+<p>"You kept Mr. Hartman up dreadfully late.
+What were you talking about so long?"</p>
+
+<p>"O, he is prepared to find you wonderful,
+and to come to time whenever you want him.
+I told him your wings weren't grown yet: you
+were the Sleeping Beauty in the Enchanted
+Palace; the hour and the man hadn't arrived.
+You dwelt in maiden meditation, and the rest
+of it."</p>
+
+<p>"You did not cheapen me, surely, Robert?"</p>
+
+<p>"God forbid: do I hold you cheap, that I
+should rate you so to others? He may tell
+you every word I said, when you begin to turn
+him inside out; there was none of it that you
+or I need be ashamed of. He knows, both by
+his own observation and from my clear and
+impressive narrative, that you are remote and
+inaccessible&mdash;the edelweiss growing high up in
+its solitude, where only the daring and the
+elect can find its haunt."</p>
+
+<p>"That is very neat. Did it take you three
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span>
+hours to tell him that? I heard you come in
+as it struck two."</p>
+
+<p>"Too bad to disturb your slumbers, Princess:
+we will take our boots off outside, next time.
+Naturally you were the most important topic
+we could discuss; but I also explained his
+advantages in being thrown so much into my
+own society. O, he is getting on. He said&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"I don't want to know what he said. The
+man is here, and I can see&mdash;and hear, when I
+choose&mdash;for myself. Do you think I would
+tempt you to violate what might be a confidence,
+Robert?"</p>
+
+<p>"But if I repeat to you what I said, why
+not what he said?&mdash;except that his observations
+would not be so powerful and suggestive
+as mine, of course. Otherwise I don't see the
+difference."</p>
+
+<p>"Now that is stupid, Bob. The difference
+is that you belong to me, and he doesn't&mdash;as
+yet."</p>
+
+<p>I can't tell you how she says these things.
+If I could put on paper the tone, the toss of
+that lovely head, the smile, the sparkle of eyes
+and lips, that go with what you might call
+these little audacities, then you would know
+how they not only accent and punctuate the
+text, but supply whole commentaries on it.
+If you get a notion that the Princess is capable
+of boldness, or vulgar coquetry, or any of the
+faults of her sex or of ours, you are away off
+the track, and my engineering must have gone
+wrong. But I must stop this and get back to
+my report.</p>
+
+<p>"One thing I must repeat, Princess. I got
+off a lot of wisdom for Jim's benefit. You
+wouldn't think how wise it was; deep principles
+of human nature, and rules for the conduct
+of life, and such. It did him no end of
+good: and then he said that if I didn't talk to
+you that way, you couldn't know me as well
+as he does."</p>
+
+<p>"He must know you remarkably well then.
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span>
+Just like a man's conceit. Poor Bob, who
+should know you through and through if I
+don't?&mdash;Why don't you talk to me that way
+then, and improve me too?"</p>
+
+<p>"As the Scotchwoman said when they asked
+her if she understood the sermon, Wad I hae
+the presumption? When you catch me taking
+on airs and trying to improve you, make
+a note of it. No, no, Princess dear; the
+lecturing and improving between us had
+better remain where they are."</p>
+
+<p>"But, Robert, perhaps I would like to have
+you vary this continual incense-burning with
+snatches of something else."</p>
+
+<p>"I dare say. Do you know, Clarice, sometimes
+I think I am an awful fool about you."</p>
+
+<p>"That is what the doctors call a congenital
+infirmity, my dear. No use lamenting over
+what you can't help. Worship me as much
+as you like; it keeps you out of mischief. But
+you might change the tune now and then, and
+give me some of your alleged wisdom."</p>
+
+<p>"Shall I becloud that pure and youthful
+brow with metaphysic fumes? Should I soil
+your dainty muslins with the antique dust of
+folios, and oil from the midnight lamp? You
+wait till you take up Hartman; perhaps you
+can stand it from him. But if I were to hold
+forth to you in the style he prefers, you would
+get sick of me in twenty minutes. Let it
+suffice that my lonely vigils are spent in severe
+studies and profound meditations, the fruit
+whereof, in a somewhat indirect and roundabout
+way, may make smooth and safe the
+path that is traversed by your fairy feet. In
+the expressive language of the poet, Be happy;
+tend thy flowers; be tended by my blessing."</p>
+
+<p>"I know about your lonely vigils, Bob;
+they are spent on cigars, and making up jokes
+to use next morning. But you are not as bad
+as usual <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'to day'">to-day</ins>. Do you know, I like you
+better when you are comparatively serious."</p>
+
+<p>"Then let me be ever thus, my Queen! It
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span>
+is the solemnizing influence of being so much
+with you. If you keep it up for another week,
+you'll have to send me off to New York to
+get secularized. I say, Clarice, how long do
+you mean to go on in this way? It's all very
+nice for me, but how about Hartman? <i>He's</i>
+not frivolous; he takes Life in awful earnest.
+What do you propose to do with him after
+you've got him&mdash;I should say, after the fatal
+dart has transfixed his manly form, and he
+falls pierced and bleeding at your feet?"</p>
+
+<p>"My dear child, let me tell you a pretty
+little tale. Once upon a time there was a
+friend of mine, who thought a good deal of me,
+and of whom I thought more than he knew,
+poor man&mdash;enough to make you jealous, Bob."&mdash;Now
+who the devil was that, confound him?
+I never heard of him before. It must have
+been that winter she spent in Boston, just after
+she came out. That's over five years ago;
+he's probably dead or married before this.
+Well, get on with your pretty little tale: not
+that I see much prettiness about it.&mdash;"And
+when I would tease him to tell me some secret,
+he would answer, in his own well-chosen language.
+Some day you will know: you wait
+and see. By-by, baby!"&mdash;and away she
+dashed.</p>
+
+<p>My tongue went too fast last night. Her
+heart <i>is</i> waking; her wings are sprouting.
+She must be getting interested in Jim. The
+hour is at hand, and the man: the horn at the
+castle-gate will soon be sounded, and presto!
+the transformation scene. That will be a
+spectacle for gods and men, now; but no
+tickets will be sold at the doors&mdash;admittance
+only by private card, and that to a very select
+few. I don't want any change in you, Princess;
+but I suppose the angels would like to
+see the depths in you that you haven't
+sounded, the fairer and wider chambers of
+your soul opened to the light. God grant
+that light may need no darkness to come before
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span>
+it, no storm-tossed, doubtful daybreak. If
+the change is for your happiness, no matter
+about us. You are moving toward a land
+where I cannot follow you; a land of mystery
+and wonder and awakening, of new beauties
+and glories and perils, and possibilities unknown
+and infinite&mdash;a journey wherein you
+can have no guide but your own pure instincts,
+no adviser but your own untried heart. God
+be with you, for Jane and Mabel can do no
+more than I. We shall hear no word from
+you till all be over, and then the Clarice of
+old will return to us no more. Transfigured
+she may be and beatified, but not the one we
+knew and loved so long. Little sister, all
+these years I have been at your side or ready
+at your call, and now you will not call and I
+cannot come to help you; for in these matters
+the heart knoweth its own bitterness, and a
+stranger doth not intermeddle with its joy.
+May it be joy and not the other! God be
+with them both, for it is a dangerous country
+where they are going; a region of mists and
+pitfalls and morasses, where closest friends
+may be rudely severed, and those whom
+Heaven hath joined be put asunder by their
+own most innocent errors&mdash;and the finest
+spirits run the heaviest risk. Ah well, if I
+were the Grand Duke of Gerolstein, maybe
+things would be better managed in my dominions.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="Domestic_Criticisms" id="Domestic_Criticisms"></a>XIII.</h3>
+
+<h4>DOMESTIC CRITICISMS.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Hartman</span> has made a first-rate impression
+here. It would please you to see this stern
+ascetic, this despiser of Life and Humanity,
+with two toddlers on his lap, and Herbert at
+his knee, all listening open-mouthed to tales
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span>
+of the animal and vegetable kingdoms. The
+boy thinks that one who lives in the woods
+must be a great hunter, and clamors for bears
+and wildcats: Jane, in her usual unfeeling
+way, insists that I put him up to this. But
+though I am a family man&mdash;and you could not
+easily find one more exemplary&mdash;I do not propose
+to drag the nursery into the cold glare of
+public comment, or favor you with a chapter
+on the Management of Children.</p>
+
+<p>I would like to know why it is that women
+are so ready to take up with any chance
+stranger who comes along, when they cannot
+see the true greatness of their own nearest
+and dearest. Mabel pronounces Hartman a
+perfect gentleman and a safe companion for
+me; as if it were I, not he, that needed looking
+after. Jane seems to regard him as the
+rock which withstands the tempest, the oak
+round which the vine may safely cling, and
+that sort of thing. He is a good-looking fellow
+yet, and he has a stalwart kind of bearing,
+adapted to deceive persons who do not know
+him as well as I do. They would almost side
+with him against Clarice&mdash;but not quite: in
+their hearts, they think her perfect.</p>
+
+<p>One evening we were all together in the
+parlor. The Princess had gone somewhere
+with one of her numerous adorers, whom she
+had failed to bluff off as she generally does:
+the young man was going to cast himself into
+the sea, I believe, and I told her she had better
+let him and be done with it, but she said
+he had a widowed mother and several sisters,
+and ought to live long enough to leave them
+comfortably provided for; so I let her go. I
+was trying to direct the conversation into improving
+channels, but the frivolous female
+mind is too much for me.</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Hartman," Jane began, "we rely on
+you to exercise a good influence upon Robert.
+He is so light-minded, and so deceitful."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," Mabel added; "no one can restrain
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span>
+him but Clarice, and she cannot spend her
+whole time upon him, she has so much else
+to do."</p>
+
+<p>"See here," said I; "this is a put-up job:
+I will have you all indicted for conspiracy.
+Have you no proper respect for the head of
+the house?"</p>
+
+<p>"We would like to," my spouse replied:
+"we make every effort: but it is so difficult!
+Mr. Hartman, he wants to manage every little
+matter, particularly those which pertain exclusively
+to women, and which he cannot
+understand at all."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," said Jane; "would you believe it,
+Mr. Hartman, he attempted to instruct us as
+to the proper manner of receiving you! But
+that is not the worst of it. He is utterly
+unable to keep a secret&mdash;not that any one
+would entrust him with secrets of the least
+importance, of course. And when he thinks
+he knows something that we do not know, he
+goes about looking so solemn that even Herbert
+can detect him at once. And in such
+cases he actually comes to us, and questions
+us about the matter, with a view to throwing
+us off the scent, and keeping dark, as he calls
+it. Did you ever hear of such absurdity?"</p>
+
+<p>"Ladies and gentleman," I said with dignity,
+"would you mind excusing me for a few moments?
+I would like to retire to the rocks
+outside, and swear a bit."</p>
+
+<p>"Robert!" my wife cried, "I am ashamed
+of you. What will Mr. Hartman think of
+your morals?" You see, they think Jim is a
+very correct young man.</p>
+
+<p>"O, I know him of old," he said. "Never
+mind, Bob, I will stand by you. Really, you
+are a little hard on him. He has improved;
+I assure you he has. Why, he was quite a
+cub at college. Your softening influences have
+done a great deal for him; everything, in
+fact."</p>
+
+<p>"It is very nice in you to say so, Mr. Hartman,
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span>
+and very polite, and very loyal; but I
+know Robert. Clarice does him a little good:
+she would do very much more, if he were not
+so stiff-necked. He thinks he is a man, and
+we are only women."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," I asked, "are you going to dispute
+that proposition? If so, I will leave Hartman
+to argue it out with you."</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Hartman," said Jane, "he thinks he
+knows everything, and women are inferior
+creatures. O, such a superior being as he is!"</p>
+
+<p>"This is getting monotonous," I remarked.
+"Suppose, for a change, we abuse Clarice, as
+she is not here; that will be pleasanter all
+round, and less unconventional. Now that
+girl does a great deal of harm, turning the
+heads of so many foolish young men. She
+spends more on her dress than you and I do
+together, Hartman. What an aim in life for
+a rational being! Simply to look pretty, and
+produce an occasional piece of perfectly idle
+and useless embroidery: tidies even, now and
+then&mdash;just think of it! Of all the&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>My wife stopped me here, and I was glad of
+it, for I really did not know what to say next.</p>
+
+<p>"You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Robert.
+To speak in that way of my cousin, and your
+own adopted sister! Don't believe a word of
+it, Mr. Hartman. She is sweet girl, though
+reserved with strangers: I am sorry you have
+seen so little of her. A high-minded, pure-hearted,
+dear, sweet, lovely girl; she is, and
+you know it, Robert." Well, perhaps I do;
+but there is no need of my saying so just now.
+Jane has to put in her oar again, of course.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, Mr. Hartman, and that is a sample
+of his hypocrisy. He thinks as highly of
+Clarice as we do, and is almost as fond of her;
+and yet he pretends to criticize her, just to
+draw away attention from his own shortcomings."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, let's drop Clarice then, and go on
+discussing the present company, if you insist.
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span>
+We'll take them up one by one: I've had my
+turn, and my native modesty shrinks from
+further praise. You see Mrs. T., Hartman?
+She sits there looking so calm and placid, like
+a mother in Israel; you would think her a
+model spouse. Yet no one knows what I
+suffer. Mabel, I had not been with him ten
+minutes last May when he noticed my premature
+baldness, and general fagged-out and
+jaded look; and to hide the secrets of my
+prison-house, I had to pretend that I had been
+working too hard in Water Street. You all
+know how painful deception is to my candid
+nature; but I did it for your sake, Mabel.
+When did I ever return aught but good for
+evil? Yet O, the curtain lectures, the manifold
+ways in which the iron has entered into
+my soul! But we brought Hartman here to
+reconcile him to civilized and domestic life,
+and I will say no more. Now there is Jane.
+She naturally puts her best foot foremost in
+company; you think she is all she seems: but
+I could a tale unfold. Now mark my magnanimity:
+I won't do it. She is my sister,
+and with all her faults I love her still. Well,
+if you <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'are are'">are</ins> tired you'd better go to bed:
+Hartman wants to smoke."</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="Over_two_Cigars" id="Over_two_Cigars"></a>XIV.</h3>
+
+<h4>OVER TWO CIGARS.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">When</span> we got out under the pure breezes of
+heaven, Hartman turned to me and said, "So
+you call this reconciling me to domestic life,
+do you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, I want you to see things as they are.
+They are not as bad as your fancy used to
+paint them, or as a duller man might suppose
+from recent appearances. Women haven't
+our sense of humor, Jim: their humble efforts
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span>
+at jocosity are apt to be exaggerated, or
+flat&mdash;generally
+both; but they mean no harm."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Bob, your preparations to instruct
+my ignorance are highly successful. All this
+is as good as a play. You see you are found
+out, old humbug; everybody sees through you.
+You can't delude any of us any more."</p>
+
+<p>"I don't quite see what you're driving at,
+my christian friend; but I'm glad you like
+us, and I hope you'll like us better before you
+are done with us." When he talks like this,
+I am content to see the hand of Fate snatch at
+his scalp, as it will before long. Gibe on,
+ungrateful mocker: retribution will soon overtake
+you in your mad career. Where then
+will be your gibes, your quips, your quiddities?
+You'll want my sympathy by and by,
+and I'll see about giving it.</p>
+
+<p>"You needn't be so much cast down, Bob.
+Perhaps you are building me up better than
+you know. Your struggles with your womankind
+give a flavor to what I used to suppose
+must be insipid. You are pretty well satisfied
+with each other, or you wouldn't pretend to
+quarrel so. What I saw of you before did
+something toward reconciling me to human
+nature at large, and your quaint efforts at
+shrewdness and finesse set off your real
+character. You might take in outsiders, but
+not me."</p>
+
+<p>"This is too much, my friend&mdash;a blanked
+sight too much. Crushed to earth by such
+unmerited compliments, I can only repeat
+my gratification that we meet with your approval.
+You settle down, and you'll see how
+insipid it is: then you'll be making some
+quaint efforts at shrewdness and finesse yourself.
+Invite me then, and I'll get even with
+you, old man. But I say, what did you mean
+about my being a cub at college?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, you were, you know. Barmaids and
+ballet-dancers, and that sort of thing."</p>
+
+<p>"Confound you, Hartman, what do you go
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span>
+bringing them up for? There was only one
+of each, or thereabouts, and they were generally
+old enough to be my mothers. I was but
+a child, Jim&mdash;a guileless, merry, high-hearted
+boy, and innocent as the lamb unshorn."</p>
+
+<p>"You were that, and the shearing did you a
+lot of good. O, you can be easy; I'll not
+bring up the sins of your youth."</p>
+
+<p>"They were no sins, only follies. I had my
+early Pendennis stage, of course, and invested
+every woman I met with the hues of imagination.
+But Mabel and the girls might not understand
+that."</p>
+
+<p>"I don't think they would. Happily, it is
+not necessary they should try to, since you
+have returned to the path of rectitude. Do
+you think you belonged to Our Society in those
+days, Bob?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, sir: I did, in embryo. I had it in me
+to develop into the ornament of our species
+you behold at present. That's all a boy is
+good for, anyway. He thinks he's somebody,
+but he isn't. He doesn't amount to anything,
+except in the fond hopes of his anxious
+parents. He knows nothing, and he can do
+nothing, except learn by his blunders; and
+some of 'em can't do that. But if he has any
+stuff in him, he grows and ripens with time,
+as you and I did. What bosh, to put the
+prime of life at twenty-five. They ought to
+move it on a bit; about our age, now, a man
+ought to be at his best."</p>
+
+<p>"I don't know, Bob. I was an egregious
+ass at twenty-five, and I'm not sure I'm any
+better now."</p>
+
+<p>"Then there's hope of you, my boy. But
+one must go on getting experience. You shut
+the door too soon and too tight, Jim."</p>
+
+<p>"When I had it open, such an infernal
+stench and dust came in, that it seemed best
+to close it. But it's open again now, partly,
+and this seems a healthier and cleaner atmosphere."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span>
+"You'll come out all right, Jim; and when
+you do, you won't seem to have been altogether
+wrong all these years. You've kept
+yourself unspotted from the world, more than
+most of us; and when you come to know a
+girl like Clarice, you'll want the most and
+best of you, to be fit for her society. If only
+one could get the general ripening without
+some of the dashed details of the process!
+She makes you wish you could have been
+brought up in a bandbox, if only you could
+have come out of it a man and not a mollycoddle."</p>
+
+<p>"Only 'men-maidens in their purity' are
+worthy to approach her, no doubt. Apparently
+I am not. I'll have to be content with
+your account of Miss Elliston's perfections,
+Robert. She seems to have no more use for
+me than the Texans for the Sheriff. But I am
+doing very nicely, thanks to your sister. I
+doubt if you appreciate Miss Jane, Bob. She
+sees further into things than you do. She impresses
+me as a sound-hearted woman, wise,
+kind, and gracious."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, and so sisterly and appreciative. O
+yes, such a superior person as she is! But
+see here, Jim; that's not what you're here for.
+Jane is all very well in her way, but&mdash;&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>He turned on me suddenly. "What the
+deuce do you mean now?"</p>
+
+<p>By Jove, now I've done it: he's got me in a
+corner.&mdash;You just wait and see me get out of
+it. "O well, Jim, I speak only by general
+analogy, of course. I am not in the Princess's
+confidence, as I told you. I might be if any
+one were, but nobody can see into her mind
+further than she chooses to let them, and that
+is but a very little way. It would be a fine
+sight, no doubt; but she has the reticence of
+a&mdash;well, of an angel probably; exceptionally
+delicate and sensitive nature, and all that, you
+know. It's not her way to let a good thing
+go by unnoticed, and she is quite able to appreciate
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span>
+you. Your time is not up yet: you're
+likely to see more of her before you go&mdash;at
+least, I should suppose so."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, I am here to see things, as you say,
+and I may as well see whatever is to be shown
+me. I am in your hands, old man; make as
+good a job of it as you can before you send
+me back to the woods."</p>
+
+<p>It is all very well for him to talk lightly on
+solemn subjects; he'll change his tone by and
+by. I have prepared his mind now, as I prepared
+the others before he came. Perhaps I
+ought to have done it sooner; perhaps the
+Princess has been waiting for that. She'll
+know, without my telling her; she'll see it in
+his eye.&mdash;Nonsense, Robert T.; your zeal outruns
+your discretion. What does she want of
+your help in a thing like this? Anyway, he's
+ready to be operated on, and it seems about
+time she began to put in her work.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="The_Catastrophe" id="The_Catastrophe"></a>XV.</h3>
+
+<h4>THE CATASTROPHE.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">This</span> miscellaneous entertainment, as I have
+remarked, lasted for about a week: then suddenly
+the situation changed. I can't tell you
+how it was done, though I was looking on all
+the time; but one evening I found myself with
+Jane, and Hartman had gone off with the
+Princess. We were all ready to play to her
+lead, no doubt; but it would have made no
+difference if it had been otherwise: when she
+ordains a thing, that thing is done, and without
+her taking any pains about it either, so
+far as you can see. I think the predestined
+victim was pleased and flattered to have the
+sacrificial chapter placed upon his head, so to
+speak; he ought to have been, at any rate.</p>
+
+<p>"Jane," I said, "what do you suppose
+Clarice is up to now?"</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span>
+"Robert," said she, "I thought I had given
+you a lesson about practising your absurd
+hypocrisies on me. Who should know what
+her plans are, if not you? If you really are
+not in her confidence&mdash;and it would not be
+far, certainly&mdash;surely you know Clarice well
+enough not to interfere. Let them alone, and
+keep quiet." That is the way they always
+talk to me: I wish they would find something
+new to say.</p>
+
+<p>Things went on in this fashion for another
+week or more. It was all very quiet: there
+was really nothing to see. What they talked
+about I don't know; when the rest of us were
+by, their conversation was not notable. I can
+make more original and forcible remarks myself;
+in fact, I do, every day. But I have no
+doubt she catechized and cross-examined him
+in private. It is not Hartman's way to air his
+theories before ladies, or to obtrude himself as
+a topic of discussion; but the Princess, when
+she condescends to notice a man at all, likes to
+see a good deal further into his soul than he
+ever gets to see into hers. That is all right in
+this case; the doctor has to be acquainted
+with the symptoms before he can cure the
+patient. When Hartman and I were together
+at the end of the evenings and at odd hours,
+he had very little to say: he seemed rather
+preöccupied and introspective. He is another
+of your plaguedly reserved people, who when
+they have anything on hand wrap it up in
+Egyptian darkness and Cimmerian gloom.
+That is the correct thing in a woman&mdash;in
+Clarice at least: in a man I don't like it. My
+soul, now, is as open as the day, and when I
+have struck any new ideas or discoveries, I
+would willingly stand on a house-top&mdash;if it
+were flat&mdash;and proclaim them for the benefit of
+the world. Even my uncompleted processes
+of thought are at the service of any one who
+can appreciate them; but you can't expect
+everybody to be like me. Most men are selfish,
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span>
+narrowly engrossed in their small private
+concerns&mdash;no generous public spirit about
+them. But then Hartman is not used to this
+kind of thing, and I suppose it knocks the
+wind out of him.</p>
+
+<p>One evening I was by myself in the shrubbery;
+it was just dark, but there was a tidy
+young moon. I wanted to smoke a pipe for a
+change, and so had gone to the most secluded
+place I could find, for if Mabel were to hear of
+this, Hartman might not get reconciled to
+domestic life. I sat there, meditating on the
+uncertainty of human affairs: it would do you
+more good than a little to know what thoughts
+passed through my mind, but there is no time
+to go into that. Suddenly two forms came
+in sight. One was of manly dignity, the other
+of willowy grace. His frame towered like the
+noble oak on the hilltop, while hers&mdash;but we
+have had the oak and the vine before,
+and worked them for all they are worth.
+Perhaps I ought to have given you a more
+particular account of the appearance of these
+two young persons: but you don't care to
+know their exact height and fighting weight,
+the color of their hair and eyes, and so forth;
+what you want is the stature and complexion
+of their souls. They were a handsome pair,
+and whene'er they took their walks and drives
+abroad like Dr. Watts, they attracted much
+attention. Just now there was nobody but
+myself to admire them, and I was in ambush.
+They strolled about in what there was of the
+moonlight, seeming much absorbed, and I sat
+still in the shade, and put down my pipe: I
+couldn't hear their talk, and didn't want to
+disturb them. Suddenly he raised his voice:
+matters between them must have come to an
+interesting stage. "But, Clarice, if you care
+for me&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>He was too quick. The madness which
+urged him on can easily be understood and&mdash;except
+by the one concerned&mdash;pardoned; but
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span>
+what devil possessed her, who shall say? She
+drew herself up with superb scorn. "You are
+beginning at the wrong end, Sir. 'If I care
+for you!' Why should I?"</p>
+
+<p>"Very good," he said at once. "I was
+mistaken. I beg your pardon most humbly."</p>
+
+<p>There was as little humility as possible in
+his look and tone. He stood like a gladiator&mdash;and
+not a wounded one either&mdash;with his head
+thrown back and his chest out. I could fancy,
+rather than see, the flashing of his eyes.</p>
+
+<p>The flashes were all on his side now;
+Clarice's brief exhibition of fireworks seemed
+to be over, and she was drooping. "Mr. Hartman,"
+she began, and could get no further.</p>
+
+<p>In <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: 'the' does not appear in the original">the</ins> act to go, he turned and faced her again.</p>
+
+<p>"Miss Elliston, my presumption was doubtless
+unpardonable; I shall not know how to
+forgive myself. Do me the <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'underserved'">undeserved</ins> honor,
+if you can, to forget it&mdash;and me. I can only
+renew my apologies, and relieve you of my
+presence."</p>
+
+<p>He bowed, and was gone. The proper
+thing for Clarice to do next was to swoon or
+shriek; but I knew her too well to expect anything
+of that sort. Nor did she tear her hair,
+or beat her breast, or offer to the solitary
+spectator any performance worth noting.
+I thought it best to keep remarkably quiet in
+my corner till she too had gone. In fact, I staid
+there for an hour or two after, though I did
+not enjoy that pipe at all; the tobacco was not
+right, or something. You see, after all the
+lectures I had had, I did not want to spoil
+things by mixing myself up with them; the
+situation looked picturesque enough without
+me in it.</p>
+
+<p>When I went back to the house I found
+that Jim had caught the boat and gone. "He
+came to me," said Mabel, "and told me that
+he had overstaid his time and found it best to
+go to-night. He was very friendly, but his
+tone did not encourage questioning or remonstrance.
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span>
+His parting with Jane was almost
+affectionate, and he left kind regards for you.
+But not a word for Clarice."</p>
+
+<p>"Great Jackson! what is the matter with
+them?" I often use what my wife considers
+profane language when I have something to
+hide.</p>
+
+<p>It had its effect this time. "Robert, be
+quiet. It is all right. When there is anything
+for you to know, you shall know it."</p>
+
+<p>She sometimes appears to mistake me for
+our eldest boy. But I was glad to get off with the
+secret. Yes, there is something to know, my
+lady, and I know it, though you don't. But I
+fear it is a long way from all right.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="Feminine_Counsels" id="Feminine_Counsels"></a>XVI.</h3>
+
+<h4>FEMININE COUNSELS.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">After</span> this there was general gloom <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'about about'">about</ins>
+the place, and I preferred to spend much
+of the time in New York. But whenever I
+got there, this confounded <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'buisness'">business</ins> would
+drive me back: Clarice might want me. Nobody
+dared question her, till one day at lunch
+Herbert spoke up. "Mamma, why doesn't
+Mr. Hartman come back? Cousin Clarice,
+what have you done to him?" He was
+promptly suppressed, and the Princess froze
+his infant veins with a stony stare, while Jane
+and I looked hard at our plates. But later
+that day I came upon Clarice and the child
+together: he was locked in her arms, and
+begging her not to cry. They did not see me,
+and I retired in good order.</p>
+
+<p>Within a week came a short note from Jim:
+apologies for leaving without saying good-bye
+to me, appreciation of our kindness, regards
+to my wife and sister&mdash;and not a word of
+Clarice. I took it to Mabel, of course.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span>
+"Be very careful how you answer this now,
+Robert."</p>
+
+<p>"How will this do? 'Dear Jim, sorry you
+went off in such a hurry; but after my performance
+in May I have no right to find fault. We
+all miss you, I think: the house has grown
+dull. Herbert continues to fall over the <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'bannisters'">banisters</ins>,
+and at intervals over the rocks: at all
+hours, but especially when laid up for repairs,
+he howls for you and bear-stories. Our kindest
+regards. Keep us posted.' That's about it,
+eh?"</p>
+
+<p>"Ye-es: you can't ask him to come back, and
+you can't mention Clarice; so you can say no
+more, and I don't like you to say any less.
+That is very well&mdash;for you, Robert; though
+you need not be so unfeeling about your own
+son."</p>
+
+<p>It is well occasionally to consult your womankind
+in such cases, because, though they may
+not know as much of the facts as you do, still
+they can sometimes give you an inner light on
+points you would not have thought of. Besides,
+it compliments and encourages them;
+whereas, if you appeared to pay no regard to
+their opinions, they would naturally feel neglected.
+A little judicious indirect flattery is
+of great use in managing one's household.
+So I put on my best air of injured innocence.</p>
+
+<p>"Mabel, I wish you could tell me what is the
+matter. Here my guest leaves my house suddenly,
+without a word of explanation. Herbert
+must be right: what has Clarice done to
+him?"</p>
+
+<p>"Robert, I told you that all was well; at least
+I trust it will be, though it may not seem so
+now. The leaven is working; leave it to Time.
+Above all, don't meddle; ask no questions;
+leave the matter to those who understand
+it."</p>
+
+<p>Now does she mean herself and Jane by
+that, or only Clarice and Hartman? I wonder
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span>
+if she thinks that I think that she knows anything
+about it. If she did, I should catch
+some sign of it. I tried my sister.</p>
+
+<p>"Jane, don't fly at me now, please. I am
+in trouble."</p>
+
+<p>"So are we all, brother. Trouble not of our
+own making&mdash;most of us."</p>
+
+<p>"Well then, what does all this secrecy
+mean? Has Clarice spoken to you? What
+does Mabel know?"</p>
+
+<p>"She knows no more than you and I,
+brother. Something has happened: any one
+may suspect what it is, but Clarice will not
+tell. I love and respect her too much to ask:
+so does Mabel; and so, I hope, do you."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, it's confounded hard lines, Jane, to
+have these things happening in your own
+house, and such a mystery made of it." I had
+to grumble to somebody, you see, if only to
+keep up appearances and help hide my guilty
+secret; and then I <i>was</i> bored, and worse, with
+the way things had gone.</p>
+
+<p>"You took that risk, Robert, when you
+brought them together here. Did you expect
+that two such persons as they would agree
+easily and at once? I think they love each
+other, or were in a way to it when this occurred,
+whatever it was."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, I am awfully sorry. Clarice can
+take care of herself, I suppose; but as for
+Hartman, he had load enough to carry before.
+I love that man, Jane."</p>
+
+<p>"So do I, Robert."</p>
+
+<p>"Eh? O, the devil you do!" This came
+out before I could stop it. It did not please
+her.</p>
+
+<p>"Brother, you are simply scandalous. Will
+you never learn a decent respect for women&mdash;you
+with a wife of your own, and boys growing
+up? Where have you been to acquire
+such ideas and such manners? You might
+have lived in the woods instead of Mr. Hartman,
+and he might have been bred in courts,
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span>
+compared with you.&mdash;I mean, of course, that
+I am interested in him, and sorry for him, as
+we all are. He is your friend, and he has
+excellent qualities."</p>
+
+<p>I was somewhat cast down by all this browbeating.
+Where shall a man go for gentle
+sympathy and that sort of thing, if not to his
+own sister? I suppose she thought of this, for
+she went on more kindly. "I would say
+nothing to Clarice if I were you. When she
+is ready, she will speak&mdash;to you."</p>
+
+<p>"To me, eh? What would she do that for?"
+I put this in as part of the narrative, but I
+am not proud of it. I had not quite recovered
+yet from the effect of Jane's previous violence;
+and then my intellect is not equal to all these
+feminine convolutions.</p>
+
+<p>"Brother, your head is not as good as your
+heart. Don't you understand that in some
+cases a woman goes to a man, if there is one
+of the right kind at hand, much as a man goes
+to a woman? You are a man, and Mr. Hartman's
+nearest friend. After all her recent
+confidences with you, or intimacy at any rate&mdash;of
+course I don't know what she talked with
+you about, so many hours&mdash;is it surprising
+that Clarice should turn to you in her trouble,
+when she can bring herself to break silence
+at all? When she is ready, she will speak to
+you, and to no one else. Till she is ready,
+not all of us together, nor all the world, could
+draw a word from her. Must I explain all
+this to you, as if you were Herbert? And
+when she does speak, brother, I do hope that
+you will listen with due respect and sympathy,
+and not disgust and repel her by any more
+coarse ideas and base interpretations."</p>
+
+<p>I paid no attention to these last remarks,
+which seemed to me wholly unworthy of Jane.
+Strange, that one who at times displays so
+much intelligence and even, as Hartman calls
+it, discernment, can in other things be
+so unappreciative and almost low-minded.
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span>
+Coarse ideas, indeed! Well, never mind that
+now: let me meditate on this prospect which
+she has opened to my view. So Clarice is
+coming to me: she knows I am her best
+friend after all. Little Clarice, how often have
+I dandled her on my knee in the years that
+have gone by! Dear little Clarice&mdash;&mdash;<span class="smcap">Bosh</span>!
+What an infernal fool a man can make of
+himself over a pretty woman in trouble! I
+am sometimes almost tempted to think that,
+as she delicately hinted, there must be an
+uncommon soft spot in my upper story. It
+is bad enough to show it when the girl is by;
+let me preserve my balance till then. When
+she wants to talk to me, I will hear what she
+has to say.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="Consolation" id="Consolation"></a>XVII.</h3>
+
+<h4>CONSOLATION.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Sure</span> enough about a week after this Clarice
+came to me as I was smoking a surreptitious
+cigar on the rocks, away from the house, after
+sundown. She came and sat down close by
+me, but I pretended not to notice. "Robert,"
+said she. "Well," said I. There is no use
+in meeting them half way when they are willing
+to come the whole distance: mostly you
+have to do it all yourself, and turn about is
+fair play.</p>
+
+<p>"Robert, are you angry with me?"</p>
+
+<p>I couldn't help looking at her now, and she
+shot one of her great glances into my face.
+I melted right down, and so would you have
+done. "Clarice, you know I never could be
+angry with you five minutes together&mdash;nor
+five seconds, if you chose to stop it. What
+have I got to be angry about now?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Bob, it wasn't your fault this time."</p>
+
+<p>"No, I trust not. Whose fault was it?"</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span>
+"Mine, mine. Bob, will you be my friend?"
+And she put her hand in mine.</p>
+
+<p>"What have I ever been but your friend?
+Don't you do as you like with me&mdash;and with
+all of us? Clarice, you know it hurts me to
+see you like this. And there's poor Hartman."</p>
+
+<p>She pulled away from me. "What has Mr.
+Hartman to do with it? Who was talking of
+him?"</p>
+
+<p>"Miss Elliston," I said with dignity, "the
+First of April is past some time ago. What
+do you want to be playing these games on me
+for?"</p>
+
+<p>"O, don't 'Miss Elliston' me, Bob. Don't
+you understand women yet?"</p>
+
+<p>"No, I'll be shot if I do; and I never
+expect to. That will do for young beginners,
+who think they know everything. I've seen
+too much of you to pretend to understand
+you. Why don't you speak out and come
+straight to the point?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why, you goose, that's not our nature.
+Speaking out and going straight to the point
+will do for great clumsy things like you and
+Mr. Hartman."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, I am a great clumsy thing, as you
+justly observe. It's very pleasant to have
+you come to me like this, Princess, and I wish
+you would do it oftener; it's mighty little I've
+seen of you of late. But though it would
+meet my views to prolong this session indefinitely,
+I suppose you want something of me,
+or you wouldn't be so sweet. It may seem
+an improbable statement, but I would rather
+help you out of this scrape than enjoy your
+society even&mdash;that's saying a good deal, but it's
+true. Yes, I'm fool enough for that."</p>
+
+<p>"I know you are, dear," she said, very low
+and sweetly. Now what was it she knew?
+You can take that two ways. All the compliments
+I get are so ambiguous. But this did
+not occur to me till afterwards. So I went on
+with my usual manly simplicity.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span>
+"Then you know there's no need of circumlocution
+and feminine wiles when you want
+anything of me, Princess. You have but to
+speak, and, as the Frenchman said, 'If it is
+possible, it shall be done: if it is impossible,
+I can only regret that I can't do it.' What
+do you want me to do now?"</p>
+
+<p>"Nothing, Bob; nothing but to listen to
+me and be good."</p>
+
+<p>"I am listening, Clarice: I've been listening
+all this time." This was not quite true, for I
+had done most of the talking; but then what I
+said was not of much account. When I am
+with her I often talk just to fill the gaps.</p>
+
+<p>"You can listen when I am ready to talk,
+and keep quiet till then. I only want your
+sympathy."</p>
+
+<p>"You have it, Clarice; you have it most
+fully. Come rest on this bosom, my own
+stricken dear&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"I don't want to rest on your bosom, Bob;
+your shoulder is big enough. Have you got
+your best coat on?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, no; this is not the one I wore at
+dinner. But I will go to the house and get
+my clawhammer if you wish."</p>
+
+<p>"No, no. I only want to cry a little."</p>
+
+<p>"You would be perfectly welcome to cry on
+my best coat every day of the week, Princess,
+and I would get a new one as often as it might
+be needed. I don't wish to make capital out
+of your grief, my dear; I would rather never
+get a kind word from you than have you suffer.
+But often it seems as if you didn't care for
+anybody, you are so high and mighty and
+offish; and O doth not an hour like this make
+amends&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Drop that, Bob. Don't try to be sentimental:
+you always get the lines wrong. I've
+not been here an hour. O, were you joking?
+You are no more in the humor for jokes than
+I am, and you know it. Do keep quiet."</p>
+
+<p>I did: I 'dropped it.' Clarice will use slang
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span>
+at times, it is one of her few faults. Where
+she learns it, I cannot conceive. It is unfeminine,
+and out of keeping with her whole
+character; in any one else I should call it vulgar.
+But I saw she did not wish to be disturbed
+just then, so I said no more. Instead,
+I thought of my guilty secret&mdash;her secret. It
+weighs on me heavily; but I can't tell her
+what I saw and heard. I don't know how she
+would take it; and I don't care to be exploding
+any dynamite bombs about my own premises.
+The situation is bad enough as it is; I'll not
+make it worse. Poor Clarice! poor Hartman!
+And yet you can't meddle with such high-strung
+folks. By and by she spoke.</p>
+
+<p>"Bob, do you know why I come to you,
+instead of to Jane or Mabel?"</p>
+
+<p>I was on the point of quoting Jane's valuable
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: the original is unclear here">idea</ins> about my being a man, but refrained.</p>
+
+<p>"I could not ask any woman for what you
+give me. And you are half a woman, Bob;
+you are so patient and loyal. Nobody else
+would be that."</p>
+
+<p>"But Mabel and Jane love you too, dear.
+They would do anything for you."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, but that is more on equal terms. I
+am so exacting; I want so much, and give so
+little. I suppose I was born so; and you have
+spoiled me&mdash;all of you. O, I know I have
+treated you badly, Robert, often; generally,
+in fact. I am proud and hateful, and you
+never resent it. Only a man can be like that&mdash;to
+a woman: and very few men would be
+so. You are not like other men, Bob: there
+is nobody like you. You are such a useful
+domestic animal."</p>
+
+<p>Perhaps I was getting unduly exalted when
+she let me down thus. I wish Clarice at least
+would be less mixed&mdash;more continuous and
+consistent, so to speak&mdash;when she sets forth
+my virtues. But one must take the Princess
+as he finds her, and be content with any
+crumbs of approval she may drop. Sometimes
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span>
+I think I am a fool about her; but when she
+talks as she does to-night, I know I am not.
+There may be more amiable women, and plenty
+more even-tempered; but there is only one
+Clarice. I may have made that remark before,
+but it will bear repeating. It is not
+of me she is thinking all this time: how should
+it be? O Hartman, Hartman, if you could
+know what I know, and see what is before you!</p>
+
+<p>Presently she spoke again. "Robert, why
+don't you ask me what I have done? I know
+you are dying of curiosity."</p>
+
+<p>"I can restrain my curiosity, rather than
+pry into your affairs, dear. When you see
+fit, you will tell me. But if you wish it, I will
+ask you."</p>
+
+<p>"No, it would be of no use. I can't tell
+you now; perhaps never. Robert, where did
+you learn to respect a woman so?"</p>
+
+<p>"Jane says I will never learn it. But I do
+respect you, Princess."</p>
+
+<p>"That must have been when you had vexed
+her with some of your blunders: you do make
+blunders, you <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'know' without a question mark">know</ins>? But, Bob, do you know
+why I love you?"</p>
+
+<p>This moved me so that I had to put myself
+on guard. She never said so much as that
+before: it is not her way to talk about feelings
+or profess much affection for anybody.</p>
+
+<p>"I suppose because we were brought up
+together, and you are used to me. And, as
+you say, I am a useful domestic animal. If I
+can be useful to you, I am proud and thankful.
+I think more of you than I could easily
+say: it is very good of you to give me some
+small return."</p>
+
+<p>"It is because you have a heart, Robert.
+They may say what they please of your head,
+but you have a great big heart."</p>
+
+<p>Now was ever the superior male intellect
+thus disparaged? She must have got this
+notion from Jane; but I can't quarrel with
+her now.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span>
+"Men are great clumsy things, as you said,
+dear: we have not your tact, nor your delicate
+roundabout methods. You are right, I do
+make blunders; I feel my deficiencies when I
+am with you. But if my head, such as it is,
+or my heart, or my hand, can ever serve you,
+they will be ready."</p>
+
+<p>"Suppose I were to leave you, and go out
+of your life?"</p>
+
+<p>"You could not go out of my life, though
+you might go far away. I should be sorry,
+but I have no right to hold you. But if you
+ever wanted me, I should always be here."</p>
+
+<p>"Suppose I did something wrong and foolish?"</p>
+
+<p>"I don't want to suppose that, but if I must&mdash;it
+would not be for me to judge you, as you
+told me once. You might do something that
+did not accurately represent your mind and
+character: since I know them, the action
+would be merely a mistake, a transient incongruity.
+I don't change easily: I have known
+you from your cradle. And if it was ever
+possible for me to fail you, it is not possible
+after to-night."</p>
+
+<p>"You are very fond of Mr. Hartman, Robert.
+What if I quarreled with him? Would you
+take my part against him?"</p>
+
+<p>"I would take your part against the world,
+Clarice. But he is not of the world. A sad
+and lonely man, burdened with an inverted
+conscience and quixotic fancies that turn the
+waters into blood, who has come for once out
+of his hermitage to catch a glimpse of the
+light that never was on sea or land, and then
+to see it turn into darkness for him. I fear
+he is sadder and lonelier now than when I
+brought him from the woods: but I would
+stake my soul on his honor, as I would on
+yours. You cannot force me into such a
+dilemma."</p>
+
+<p>A heavenly glow was on her face now, as
+she looked long at the stars, and then at me.
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</a></span>
+"Why are you eloquent only when you speak
+of him, brother?"</p>
+
+<p>"You say I have a heart, Clarice: it is eloquent
+when I think of you. Shall a stranger
+be more sacred to me than my sister?&mdash;and I
+don't mean Jane. You would be sacred to a
+better man than I, dear, if he knew you as I
+do: you may be so already, for what I can tell.
+He <i>could</i> not mean to sin against you, Princess.
+If he seemed to fail in respect, or courtesy, or
+anything that was your due, forgive him, and
+don't banish him forever. I trusted that you
+would have enlightened and converted and
+consoled him: he is worth it."</p>
+
+<p>I longed to say more, but this was as far as I
+dared go. She sighed.</p>
+
+<p>"Perhaps I need to be converted and consoled
+myself. But that is ungrateful; with such a
+comforter at hand I ought not to be miserable.
+We never knew each other like this before,
+Robert. Why is it?"</p>
+
+<p>"I don't know, Clarice&mdash;or rather I do, of
+course. It takes the moon, and stars, and a
+common trouble, to bring people together, even
+when they see each other every day; and then
+concurring moods must help. One stands in
+awe of you, Princess; I always shall. You only
+tolerated me when you were happy: I was
+rough, and careless, and stupid, and made bad
+jokes in the wrong places. I will try to do
+better after this, so that you need not be repelled
+when you want me. Hartman, now, is of
+finer mould than I: if you would let him come
+back&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"No more of that now, dear. Let us go in.
+The moon is going down: it is getting cold
+and dark." So it was; and damp too&mdash;on my
+shoulder at least. "I am glad you had your
+old coat on," she said.</p>
+
+<p>Mabel was alone in the parlor. "Well," she
+began; then she saw our faces, and modified
+her tone. "The moonlight was very fine, I
+suppose?"</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</a></span>
+"You know you never will go out in the
+evening," said Clarice. "It is later than I
+thought. Don't scold Robert; he has been a
+dear good boy." She kissed her, and went
+upstairs.</p>
+
+<p>"Mabel," said I, "Clarice is in trouble." I
+had to say something, and this was perfectly
+safe. You see, she had told me nothing, and
+so I could say if asked. But I wasn't.</p>
+
+<p>"I know that, of course, Robert: I have seen
+it all along. She is a dear girl, for all her
+flightiness. She will say nothing to me. I
+hope it will come right. If you can help or
+comfort her, I shall be glad." Then she too
+went to bed.</p>
+
+<p>It is unusual for Mabel to be surprised into
+such candor. I got a cigar, and went out on
+the porch to meditate. Jane thought that
+Clarice would tell me things. Yes, I have got
+a lot of information. Let me see, I am a
+useful domestic animal, and I have a big heart:
+that's about the size of it. At this rate, I can
+soon write a Cyclopædia. Well, cold facts are
+not all there is in life: there are some things
+the Cyclopædias fail to tell us about. I don't
+regard the last few hours as altogether wasted.</p>
+
+<p>After this the Princess and I did not talk
+much: there seemed to be no need of it. But
+she was a new and revised edition of the old
+Clarice, wonderfully sweet, and gracious, and
+equable; and her look when we met was like
+the benediction in answer to prayer, as Longfellow
+says. I went about with a solemn feeling,
+as if I had just joined the Church. What
+does a fellow want with slang, and pipes, and
+beer, and cheating other fellows on the street,
+when he has such entertainments at home?
+And yet it cuts me to the soul to look at her: I
+<i>must</i> do something to bring them together.
+Pretty soon we went back to New York.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><a name="Against_Earnestness" id="Against_Earnestness"></a>XVIII.</h3>
+
+<h4>AGAINST EARNESTNESS.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Jane</span>, and even Mabel, have the idea that I
+am of light and shallow nature; and sometimes
+I think they are right. It must be so; for your
+profound and serious characters have a weakness
+for sorrow, and luxuriate in woe&mdash;whereas
+I object to trouble of any kind, and cannot get
+used to it. The house has been like a rural
+cemetery for near two months, and it simply
+bores me. <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: in the original, Hartman is followed by a comma">Hartman</ins> now prefers to dwell
+among the tombs: he has lived these ten years
+in a graveyard, so to speak, under a canopy of
+funereal gloom, and he thrives on it. He and
+Clarice are the most superior persons I know;
+and they have gone and got themselves into a
+peck, or rather several bushels, of trouble, about
+nothing at all. They must like it, or why
+should they do it? I doubt if I can ever be
+educated up to that point. I have the rude
+and simple tastes of a child: sunshine seems
+to me better than shade (except during the
+heated term), and pleasure more desirable than
+pain. I like to be comfortable myself, and to
+have every one else so. Imagine Mabel getting
+miffed at me, or I at her, over some little two-penny
+affair of unadvised expressions! She
+often says unkind things to me: if I took an
+earnest view of life, and were full of deep
+thought and fine feeling, probably I should
+have to take her criticisms to heart, and go
+away in a hurry and never come back. I sometimes
+make blunders worse than that one of
+Hartman's, and no harm worth mentioning
+ever comes of them&mdash;though I do have to be
+careful with the Princess. No doubt I am
+frivolous and superficial; but people of my sort
+appear to get along more easily, and to make
+less trouble for themselves and others, than
+those whose standards are so much higher. If
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span>
+I had the managing of this business, I could
+set it right inside a week&mdash;or in two days, if
+Jim were not so far away. It is merely to say
+to him, "Your language was unparliamentary.
+It is not etiquette to assume that a lady cares
+for you when you have not asked her to. You
+have no right to resent her resenting such
+unconventional behavior. You owe her an
+apology: go and make it like a man, and withdraw
+the offensive epithet, term, phrase, clause,
+or sentence, which ever it might be." Then I
+would say to her, "He meant no harm. How
+do you expect a member from Wayback to be
+posted on all the usages of metropolitan society?
+You ought not to have come down on him so
+hard. Let the man say he is sorry, and forgive
+him. You were mainly to blame yourself;
+but seeing it is you, we'll pass that." Then
+I would stand over them like the heavy father
+in the plays, and say, "You love each other.
+Take her, Jim: take him, Clarice. Bless you,
+my children." That is the way it ought to be
+done, and that is the way I would fix it if it
+concerned common every-day people like myself,
+with no pretence to qualities higher than practicability
+and common sense&mdash;supposing such
+people could have got into such a mess, which
+I own is improbable. A method that would
+answer for them is not so easily applied to these
+superfine specimens, who have taken such pains
+to build themselves a private Purgatory, and
+keep it going on a limited supply of fuel. They
+might resent intrusion on their agreeable demesne,
+and put up a board with 'No Trespassing'
+on it; but then they ought to keep the
+place fenced in better: as it is, the smoke and
+heat spread too much. They might say, 'If we
+enjoy our misery, what right have the rest of
+you to interfere?' Yes, but what right have
+they to rope in the rest of us, who are not so
+addicted to the luxury of grief, and make us
+miserable too? That's what it comes to.
+'Each man's life is all men's lesson,' and each
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span>
+woman's too. Now if our high-toned friends
+had kept this particular part of their lives in
+manuscript, and not supplied us with copies,
+but reserved it for spelling out in secret at their
+own leisure, the case would be different. As
+it stands, this embroglio is a lesson which I
+have got by heart and am tired of: I would like
+to set it aside and turn to something more
+cheerful. Moreover, as the head of a family I
+have duties in the matter, for it affects us all.
+I don't mind so much about Jane: she thinks
+this is a XX. romance, which the parties chiefly
+concerned are conducting in the most approved
+manner; if she had one of her own, I suppose
+this would be her style&mdash;her idea of how the
+thing should be done.<a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> It is not mine, however;
+far from it. Shall I sit passive, and see
+the clouds of care growing heavier about the
+wife of my bosom, and the furrows deepening
+in that once marble brow? She looks two years
+older than she did two months ago, and she
+owns it. I have three lovely children: how brief
+a space it is since they played in the abandonment
+of infant glee! And now their young
+existence, too, is darkened. Herbert no longer
+slides down the banisters, with his former recklessness,
+but sits and looks wistfully at Cousin
+Clarice. The change involves a saving in lint
+and arnica, but a loss of muscular development.
+You see, we are all of the sympathetic&mdash;which
+is the expensive&mdash;temperament: we have not
+sense enough to be content each with his or her
+own personal affairs, and let the others arrange
+their private funerals at their own charge.
+There is more truth than I thought in part of
+what I told Hartman, that night on the boat.</p>
+
+<p>This thing must stop. I will have to ask
+the Princess if she wants our humble abode to
+be a house of mourning much longer. We
+might accommodate her in that respect for</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</a></span>
+another month or two, but not permanently.
+Lovers are so selfish: they don't care if they
+upset all your domestic arrangements, and spoil
+your harmonies with the discord of their sweet
+bells jangled. It ought not to be encouraged,
+nor yet allowed.</p>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a>I was wholly mistaken in this, as will appear by the
+next chapter. <i>R. T.</i>]</p></div>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="Conspiracy" id="Conspiracy"></a>XIX.</h3>
+
+<h4>CONSPIRACY.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The</span> summer has not done for any of us what
+it ought; quite the reverse. Even I am not in
+my usual form, if Mabel and Jane are right.
+They had let me alone for some time: last
+night they attacked me together&mdash;a preconcerted
+movement, obviously.</p>
+
+<p>"Robert, you are pale, almost haggard. You
+need a change."</p>
+
+<p>"Why," said I, "I've just had a change&mdash;or
+rather several of them. We've been back only
+three weeks."</p>
+
+<p>"You need mountain air: the sea does not
+agree with you. And Newport is not what it
+used to be."</p>
+
+<p>"It's a good deal more so, if you mean that;
+but I don't know that its increased muchness
+has damaged my health to any great extent."</p>
+
+<p>"You prefer small, remote places, and their
+way of life; you know you do. They are more
+of a change from town. You bought the house
+at Newport for our sakes. I have often feared
+you were sacrificing yourself to us&mdash;with your
+usual disinterestedness, dear."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, my usual disinterestedness is ready to
+be worked again, to any reasonable extent, if
+you will say what you're after. But how can I
+leave the business now?"</p>
+
+<p>"O, the business!" (It was Jane this time.)
+"That is all very fine, when you don't want
+to leave town. But I notice that the business
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span>
+never interferes with any of your junketings.
+What are your clerks paid for? Can't they attend
+to the business?"</p>
+
+<p>"A fine idea you women have of business,
+and a fine success you'd make of it. Jane,
+suppose you take charge in Water Street while
+I am away."</p>
+
+<p>"I don't doubt I could do it quite as well as
+you, after a little practice. Why, brother, Mr.
+Pipeline understands it a great deal better
+than you do. Our father, in his later years,
+trusted him entirely."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, Robert," said Mabel, "and how often
+you have assured me that Mr. Pipeline was
+absolutely competent and reliable. When we
+were married, and a hundred times since, you
+explained your carelessness and indifference
+about the business by saying that all was right
+while old Mr. Pipeline was there: he knew
+everything, and kept the whole force to their
+work. It was that, you said, which enabled
+you to be so much more about the house than
+most men could be, and so attentive and satisfactory
+as a husband and father."</p>
+
+<p>She had me there: who would expect a
+woman to remember things and bring them up
+in this way, so long after? So I tried to turn
+it off.</p>
+
+<p>"O, well, he hasn't gone to Canada yet: the
+books seem straight, and the returns are pretty
+fair. But it is well for the head of the firm to
+look in occasionally, all the same."</p>
+
+<p>"You do look in occasionally, Robert: no one
+can accuse you of neglecting that duty. Would
+I have married a man who neglected duty, and
+allowed his business to go to ruin, and his
+family to come to want? Your conscience may
+rest perfectly easy on that score, dear."</p>
+
+<p>"O, thank you: it does. I've not often allowed
+the state of the oil market to interfere
+with sleep or appetite, or with my appreciation
+of you and the children. Family duties first,
+my dear; what so sacred, so primary, as the ties
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span>
+of Home? But such virtue is not always duly
+prized there. I'm glad you do me justice."</p>
+
+<p>"I always have, Robert; always. Whatever
+Jane and others might say about your levity
+and your untimely jests and so forth, I have
+steadily maintained that you had a good heart."</p>
+
+<p>"There, Jane, do you hear that? Mabel
+knows, for she is in a position to know."</p>
+
+<p>"Of course, brother, we are all aware of that.
+If you had not that one redeeming trait, I
+should have left you long ago, even if I had
+had to get married. You admire Artemus
+Ward: he had a giant mind, you recollect, but
+not always about him. So with your good heart
+at times. But we are wandering from the
+point. Mabel, you were showing him how he
+could go away for a week or two without neglecting
+his important duties down town."</p>
+
+<p>"Why yes, Robert. You have been here
+three weeks now, and I am sure you have been
+at the store nearly every day. Indeed, when
+you <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'was'">were</ins> not at home, or at the club, or somewhere
+about town, I doubt not you might be
+found in Water Street a good part of the time."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," I said with an air of virtuous complacency,
+"I believe you are right. I can't
+deny it, though it may help your side of the
+argument."</p>
+
+<p>"Well then, you can surely be spared during
+a brief absence. And when you return, you
+can continue to look in occasionally, as you
+say."</p>
+
+<p>"Perhaps I could, though it is not well to
+be too positive. Where do you think I ought
+to go?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, you are fond of fishing and hunting.
+You might go up and spend a week with Mr.
+Hartman. You found good sport there, you
+said."</p>
+
+<p>"O yes, there are trout enough, and deer not
+far off, he told me. But I was there in May.
+And it is not very comfortable at Hodge's, if
+you remember."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span>
+"But of course this time you would stay
+with Mr. Hartman. You refused his invitation
+before, and it was hardly civil to such an old
+friend."</p>
+
+<p>"He has a mere bachelor box, my dear, and
+I hardly like to thrust myself on him."</p>
+
+<p>"Why, Robert, I am surprised at you. After
+Mr. Hartman spent a fortnight with us at
+Newport&mdash;and when he has written you twice,
+urging you to come. Can't you see that the
+poor man is lonely, and really wants you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Mabel, it would be all very well if it were
+like last May&mdash;only he and I to be considered.
+But here is that blessed entanglement of his
+with Clarice&mdash;quarrel, or love-making nipped
+in the bud, or whatever it was&mdash;that complicates
+matters. After all the lectures I've had
+from you two, I don't want to complicate them
+any more, nor to meddle in her affairs, nor
+appear to. Suppose I go up there, and he
+wants news of her, and anything goes wrong,
+or it simply doesn't come right as you expect;
+I'd have your reproaches to bear ever after, and
+perhaps those of my own conscience. You're
+not sending me off simply for my health, or for
+a little fishing. If I go to Hartman, the sport
+will not be the main item on the programme;
+and that every one of us knows perfectly well.
+So I don't move till I see my way straight."</p>
+
+<p>Finding me thus unexpectedly firm, Jane
+looked at Mabel, and Mabel looked at Jane, and
+there was a pause. You see, in this last deliverance
+I had uttered my real mind&mdash;or part
+of it&mdash;and it naturally impressed them.</p>
+
+<p>My sister's share in the discussion had thus
+far been confined to the few efforts at sarcasm
+duly credited to her above&mdash;let no one say that
+I am unjust to Jane. She had been watching
+me pretty closely, but I hardly think she saw
+anything she was not meant to see. Now she
+came to the front, looking very serious&mdash;as we
+all did, in fact.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, brother, some things are better understood
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span>
+than spoken&mdash;from our point of view.
+But if you insist on having all in plain words,
+and playing, as you call it, with cards on the
+table&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Just so," said I. "You use your feminine
+tools: I use mine, which are a man's. If I
+have to do this piece of work, it must be on my
+own conditions and after my own fashion, with
+the least risk of misunderstanding."</p>
+
+<p>"Robert, if this is affectation, you are a
+better actor than I thought. But if you really
+know no more than we do&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>This was too much for Mabel. "Now, Jane,
+you go too far. Robert likes his little joke,
+but he knows when to be serious. Why do you
+suspect him so?"</p>
+
+<p>Jane went on. "Of course it is possible he
+may be no deeper in Clarice's confidence than
+we: she is very reticent. You mean, brother,
+that you will do nothing till she authorizes
+you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, as I said, this is her affair. For you,
+or me, or anybody else, to meddle in it without
+her direction, or permission&mdash;unless in case of
+obvious extremity&mdash;would seem, by all rules
+alike ethical and prudential, a delicate and
+doubtful proceeding, to say the least."</p>
+
+<p>"I suppose you are right there. Mabel, you
+may as well tell him. Robert, don't think,
+from all this preamble, that it is of more importance
+than it would otherwise seem. Perhaps
+we might as well have told you at once;
+but we are only women, you know. Now at
+last we are using your tools&mdash;the tools you
+always use with such manly consistency&mdash;candor
+and open speech. Tell him, Mabel."</p>
+
+<p>"Robert dear, Clarice told me to-day that
+you were looking badly; she thought you
+needed a change. 'Is he not going off for his
+fall fishing?' she said."</p>
+
+<p>"Is that all?"</p>
+
+<p>"It is a good deal for her," said Jane. "If
+you want more, ask her. Are you less concerned
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span>
+for her happiness than we are? Must
+we arrange all the preliminaries? Brother, if
+<i>I</i> could do anything, no fear of consequences or
+reproaches should tie my hands: I would do
+what is right, and take the chances. If I stood
+where you do, I would have this matter settled,
+or know why it could not be. I would never
+sit idle, and see two such lives spoiled&mdash;and all
+our hearts broken. O, I know you love them
+both. But you are so cautious&mdash;unnecessarily
+and absurdly so at times, and wedded to useless
+diplomacy, when only the plain speech you talk
+about is needed. You stand in awe of Clarice
+too much: you may wait too long. Forgive
+me, Robert; but whatever she may say, you
+<i>must</i> see Mr. Hartman before winter."</p>
+
+<p>I could have embraced Jane, besides forgiving
+her slurs on me, which may contain an
+element of truth. There is more in her than I
+have supposed; and of course what she insists
+on is exactly what I have all along meant to
+do. But it did not come in handy to say so at
+this point. "I'll think it over. You two had
+better go to bed: I must go out and smoke."</p>
+
+<p>"Robert," said Mabel, "don't go out to-night.
+You can smoke in the dining-room."</p>
+
+<p>"No; I'll not take a base advantage of your
+present amiable mood. But I tell you what it
+is; if you want to get Hartman here in cold
+weather you must let us have a snuggery. He
+can't do without his tobacco."</p>
+
+<p>It was a fine night, and I wanted a walk as
+well as a smoke. I felt gratified, for this thing
+had gone just as I desired. I am not quite so
+impulsive as Jane, and I understand the difficulties
+as she does not; but my plan has merely
+waited for events to give it definite shape and
+make it feasible. Certainly I must see Hartman,
+and as he can't come here, I must go
+there. But I wanted the women to suggest my
+going; that divides the responsibility, and gives
+them a hand in the game. I would have had
+to propose it myself within a week or so, if they
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</a></span>
+had not spoken. But the Princess knows what
+she is about, and what is fit and proper. It
+may seem strange that she should speak to
+Mabel instead of to me; but she will say what
+she has to say to me before I start. In fact,
+I'll not start till she does&mdash;how could I? It is
+her business I am going on, with just enough of
+my own to give it a color. I'll write to Jim at
+once, to ask when he wants me: the mails are
+slow up there, and it may be a week before his
+answer comes. That will give me time to get
+my instructions, and not be in any unseemly
+haste to seek them either. So far, so good; but
+there is more to be done, and delicate work too,
+such as will bear no scamping. It is the biggest
+contract you ever undertook, R. T., and
+you must make a neat job of it.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="Apology_for_Lying" id="Apology_for_Lying"></a>XX.</h3>
+
+<h4>APOLOGY FOR LYING.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">If</span> you do not understand my waiting for
+Mabel and the girls to prompt this move, and
+allowing them to urge it against my apparent
+reluctance, I ascribe this failure on your part
+to lack of experience, rather than to any deeper
+deficiency. Some men like to make a parade
+of independence, and to do&mdash;or pretend to do&mdash;everything
+of themselves, without consulting or
+considering their womankind. But such are
+not the sort I choose my friends from; for I
+have been accustomed to regard both brain and
+heart as desirable appurtenances to a man.
+There is little Bruteling, at the club, who would
+like to be considered a man of the world&mdash;but
+I can't waste space or time on him. And I
+have met family men even&mdash;but I don't meet
+them more than once if I can help it&mdash;who
+regard their wives and sisters as playthings,
+dolls, upper-class servants, not to be trusted,
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</a></span>
+taken into their confidence, or treated with
+any real respect. Such heresies have no place
+under a Christian civilization, which has exalted
+Woman to her true rank as the equal and
+helpmeet of Man, the object of his tenderest
+affections and most loyal services. It is in his
+domestic life that one's true character is shown;
+and Home is not only the dearest place on
+earth to me and to every one whose head is
+level, but the stage on which his talents and
+qualities are best brought out.</p>
+
+<p>You think that I don't practice what I
+preach; that I introduce within those sacred
+precincts too much of play-acting and small
+diplomacy, as Jane says; that even at this
+moment my thoughts and intentions in a matter
+which concerns us all are imperfectly revealed
+to my nearest and dearest? Ah, that is owing
+to the difference between the sexes, and to the
+singular lines on which the Sex was constructed,
+mentally speaking. I don't wish to criticize
+the Architect's plans, but it seems to me I
+could suggest improvements which might have
+simplified relations, and avoided much embarrassment.
+The difficulty is that women, as a
+rule, can neither use nor appreciate Frankness.
+Just after I was married, I thought it was only
+the fair thing to tell Mabel about several girls
+I had been sweet on before I knew her. Would
+you believe it, she burst into tears, and upbraided
+me with my brutality; and she brings
+up that ill-advised disclosure against me to this
+day. I know several ladies who will not lie,
+under ordinary circumstances&mdash;not for the mere
+pleasure of it, at least; Clarice, for instance,
+and Jane, I believe; but not one who will tell
+the whole truth, or forgive you for telling it.
+Well, well, we have to take them as they are,
+and make the best of them: they have other
+redeeming traits, as Jane says of me. In
+heaven these inequalities will be done away,
+and one can afford to speak out&mdash;at least I hope
+so. But meantime you can see how these
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</a></span>
+feminine peculiarities hamper a man, and check
+his natural candor, and impose on him a wholly
+new, or at least a hugely modified, ethical code.
+If I were to follow my original bent, which
+was uncommonly direct and guileless, I should
+be in hot water all the time. It is this struggle
+between nature and&mdash;well, I can hardly call it
+grace; let us say necessity, or environment&mdash;which
+is making me bald, and fat, and aging
+me so fast. You have seen, in the course of
+this narrative, what scrapes I have gotten into
+by speaking before I stopped to think, and
+blurting out the simple truth. I was once as
+honest as they are ever made&mdash;and for practical
+and domestic uses nearly an idiot. I have been
+obliged, actually forced, to deny myself the indulgence
+of a virtue, and diligently to cultivate
+the opposite vice. The preachers don't know
+everything: I could give them points. I don't
+say I have succeeded remarkably, and the exercise
+has been deeply painful to me; but it was
+absolutely essential, if I was to be fit for the
+family circle, and able to do or get any good
+in this imperfect world. There is no escape,
+unless you live in a hermitage like Hartman.
+You may have noticed that my loved ones
+sometimes appear to treat me with less than
+absolute respect and confidence: it is the result
+of this life-conflict, which has left me with a
+character mixed, and in one respect wrecked.
+But they would think much worse of me than
+they do if I told them the truth, the whole
+truth, and nothing but the truth, on all occasions.
+Thus I might&mdash;and then again I might
+not&mdash;go to our poor Princess, and say, "Clarice,
+Mabel and Jane think I ought to see Hartman.
+I think so too, and they report you as concurring
+in the verdict. This is delicately put
+under cover of my health and the fall fishing;
+but we all know that you and Jim want looking
+after more than I do, and that bigger game
+than trout is to be caught. Tell me what you
+want me to say to him and do with him, and I
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</a></span>
+will start at once." Some women might stand
+that, possibly, but not the ones I am used to:
+such would be eminently the way not to attain
+my benevolent end. No, no; you can do nothing
+in such cases without finesse, as Jim calls
+it, and strategy, and tact, and management;
+and if you have not these gifts by nature, you
+must acquire them, whatever they may cost.
+I still hold to my principles; but I don't propose
+to run them into the ground. In morality, as
+elsewhere, a little too much is apt to be worse
+than much too little; and theory and practice
+are very different things, not to be rashly
+confounded. You want to hold the right
+theories, and then to live as near them as depraved
+mundane conditions will allow. The
+manly weapons of which Jane spoke so scornfully
+last night are the right ones&mdash;when you
+can use them. In the case in hand, to tell all I
+know would have been at any time, and would
+still be, impossible and ruinous. Hartman is
+not so far out on some points: as he says, we
+did not arrange the present scheme of things,
+and could not be proud of it if we had.</p>
+
+<p>You may say, and I could not deny, that my
+diplomacy, such as it is, is not always employed
+for the benefit of women <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'only' with no period">only</ins>. Hartman is a luminous
+and transparent soul&mdash;too much so for
+his own good: why did I practise occasionally on
+him? I can explain that best on general principles.</p>
+
+<p>In a world a majority of whose inhabitants are
+female, demoralization has naturally extended
+far and wide, till strict veracity has become
+unpractical. The first falsehood (after the serpent's)
+must have been humiliating to him who
+uttered it, and a fatal example to those who
+heard; but mankind soon grew used to the new
+fashion. I pass over the rude barbarian ages,
+whose gross and inartistic lying offers no claim
+to respectful and sympathetic interest, and no
+excuse but the lame one of selfish depravity,
+common to the race. But with the inroads of
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</a></span>
+civilization Life became complex, and Truth
+was found too simple and rigid to fit with all
+its varied intricacies. That is, when Truth <i>is</i>
+simple. "Don't you think my baby beautiful?"
+demands a fond parent. "No, I don't: far
+from it." That is the truth; but its naked
+and repulsive brutality demands to be clothed
+with the garb of humane and graceful
+fiction. "Prisoner at the bar, are you guilty
+or not guilty?" He is guilty, of course; but if
+he says so, it is a dead give-away. In this case
+indeed the interests of Truth are one with those
+of Society, though not of the prisoner; but often
+it is different. The basis of ethics, our moralists
+say, is as largely utilitarian as it is ideal.
+If so, is there any special sacredness about cold
+facts, that they should get up on end and demand
+to be published everywhere continually?
+Truth ought to be modest, and not claim all
+the observances and honors, seeing there are so
+many other deities whom we poor mortals are
+no less bound to worship. When Grotius' wife
+lied to the policeman about her husband's
+whereabouts, the lie was an act of piety, whereas
+truthtelling would have been murderous
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'infielity'">infidelity</ins>. If the minions of the law were after
+me, would I thank Mabel and Jane and Herbert
+for telling them which way I had gone? There
+is no more aggravated nuisance than he who
+insists on exposing all he knows at all times
+and places&mdash;as I used to do before I learned
+these tricks. Look at poor Hartman, ejecting
+his honest backwoods thought without asking
+whether it was a wise and decent offering to
+his small but highly select audience; and see
+what trouble he has brought on himself and all
+of us thereby.</p>
+
+<p>This outspokenness is often mere self-indulgence.
+Take me, for instance: to this day, in
+spite of all the lessons I have had, it is far
+easier and pleasanter for me to tell the truth
+than not. People of this temperament must
+learn to put a check on nature. Self-indulgence
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</a></span>
+is bad, all agree, and self-denial useful
+and necessary. This is the way virtues clash
+and collide. I say, confound such a world.
+What is a plain man to do in it? As the poet
+sings, the <i>Summum Bonum</i> belongs in heaven,
+and you can't expect to get at it here, but
+must simply do the best you can, which is
+generally not very good. And then, as another
+poet puts it, very likely nobody will appreciate
+your efforts, but you will get cuffed for them:
+we are punished for our purest deeds, and so
+forth.&mdash;But this is trenching on Hartman's
+province. It is well that I should think all
+this out now: I can talk it over with him
+before we get to business. He will want sympathy
+with his notions about the depravity of
+things in general, and that will smooth the
+way, and make him willing to open up on the
+specific woe that lies nearest.</p>
+
+<p>To return to our muttons. The guilt of
+duplicity has lain heavy on my conscience for
+two months, but how can I help it? I don't
+so much mind keeping what I know from
+Mabel and Jane, for it is not their affair. But
+it is Clarice's affair&mdash;most eminently so&mdash;and I
+had promised solemnly to tell her at once when
+I knew or thought of anything that concerned
+her. It was obviously impossible to keep my
+promise in this case&mdash;not on my account, but
+on hers. It will not be easy to tell even Jim
+that I overheard their last colloquy, and witnessed
+the tragical parting scene: I'll have to
+watch my opportunities, and spring that on
+him just at the right moment, when it will
+have the best effect. Now any one who knows
+Clarice must see that to tell her this would
+be to take the most awful risks, and probably
+to destroy all chance of reconciling them; that
+is level to the meanest apprehension, I judge.
+No sir: it can't be done till I have seen Jim,
+and got things in train. Properly handled,
+the secret&mdash;that is, my possession of it, which
+is a second secret, almost as weighty as the
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</a></span>
+original one&mdash;may be a tool to manage both
+these intractable subjects with, and bring them
+to terms: in a fool's hands, and thrown about
+promiscuously, it would be an infernal machine
+to blow us up. No: I'll take whatever guilt
+there is, rather than hurt Clarice now and
+hereafter. Do you want to know my opinion
+of a man who is always and only thinking
+about keeping his hands clean and his conscience
+at peace, so that he can't do a little
+lying&mdash;or it might be other sinning&mdash;on adequate
+occasion, to serve his friends or a good
+cause? I think he is a cad, sir&mdash;a low-minded
+cad; and of such is not the kingdom of heaven.
+It may not occur every day: it might not do to
+insert in the text-books as a rule; but once in a
+while there may be better businesses than saving
+one's soul and keeping one's conscience void
+of offense.<a name="FNanchor_2_2" id="FNanchor_2_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a></p>
+
+<p>I am arguing against my own nature in all
+this. In my heart I love Truth above all
+things, and follow and serve her with a devotion
+that is probably exaggerated. But I can't
+help seeing that there are two kinds of her.
+When she is simple and obvious, she seems to
+reside in bare facts, which we may easily respect
+too much, for what are they but blackguard
+carnalities? Preraphaelitism in art,
+Realism in literature, might be all very well
+if they would keep their place&mdash;which is in
+the kitchen. Some may want pots and pans,
+and scullions, and pigs' feet, and ribs of beef
+described. I don't myself; but it is a free
+country, and vivid and accurate portraiture of
+these delicacies may constitute the main charm
+of literature for some readers, possibly. But
+Realism wants to take its pots and pans into
+the parlor: it always overdoes things. "A
+daisy by the river's brim a yellow daisy was
+to him, and it was nothing more." Well,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</a></span>
+what else should it be?&mdash;But perhaps I have
+not got that right. Pass on to our next head.</p>
+
+<p>Truth is not always simple&mdash;by no means
+always. Often she is highly complex, and as
+much mixed as I was just now; and then you
+don't know where she is, or what she is, and
+it gets to be all guesswork. One says, Here,
+and another says, There: the philosophers upset
+each other's schemes in turn, the theologians
+hurl reciprocal excommunications, the
+scientists of to-day laugh at those of last year.
+If Pilate meant it this way, we owe him some
+sympathy and respect. "Speak the truth and
+shame the devil," they say. Bah! [I think
+this expletive ought to be spelt <i>Baa</i>.] When
+you know what the truth is, you are more
+likely to shame your friends, and become obnoxious
+and ridiculous. And in most cases
+you don't know, and if you suppose you do,
+you are mistaken. I have thought out a way
+of approximating Truth on a large scale, and
+more nearly than most succeed in doing; but
+this is a big topic, and I had better keep it to
+entertain Hartman with.</p>
+
+<p>O yes; I was to explain why I sometimes use
+roundabout methods even with him. If you
+tell all you know to everyone you meet, or disclose
+your real character, it will generally be a
+waste of good material which might better be
+economized. By the way, what <i>is</i> my real
+character? How should I know? One sees
+one side of it, another another. I see all that
+have turned up yet, but there may be many
+more, thus far latent; and how am I to harmonize
+them all, and take the average of a
+succession of phenomena? I am complex, like
+Truth.</p>
+
+<p>But I must not interrupt myself any more.
+Let us fall back on the utilitarian basis of
+ethics. You see, if I had talked like this to
+Jim when we met last May, he would have put
+himself on guard and begun to study me,
+whereas I wanted to draw him out&mdash;as I did.
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</a></span>
+I have no objection to people studying me
+when I don't care to study them; but when
+there is anything to be done for them you have
+got to understand them first, and to this end
+it is best to appear simple and not distract their
+minds from the contemplation and disclosure
+of their own qualities: you can play on their
+vanity if your own does not stand in the road.
+Hartman has a fine mind, but in his innocent
+rural way he took for granted that I had stood
+still since we were together at college. So I
+played to his lead, and pretended, for instance,
+to know nothing about poetry; whereas, as you
+must have noticed, I am pretty well read, and
+my memory is remarkably copious and accurate.
+(Clarice did indeed say that I sometimes got
+the lines wrong; but what she meant was that
+the passages I quoted in my well-meant efforts
+to console her were of too gay a character for
+her melancholy mood.)</p>
+
+<p>In this way I secured Jim's regard and confidence,
+which I am using for his good: if I
+had put myself forward, and been anxious to
+impress him with my importance, he might
+have looked on me with the cynical indifference
+which is all the feeling he can afford to most
+people, and I should never have got him out of
+the woods. So when I was taking him to
+Newport, I said what it was desirable to say,
+and omitted what was not: how else should a
+rational man talk? And that first night there,
+I took the tone that he required, as a host is
+bound to do: sacred are the duties of christian
+hospitality. Poor Jim is as good as a play; he
+takes Life in such dead earnest, and expects
+his friends to be rampant idealists too: so I
+mounted the high horse for once to gratify him.
+He will never forget that, nor cease to respect
+me accordingly: he thinks I was serious then,
+and joking at all other times. You and I of
+course understand that Life is but a series of
+appearances; and if I seem to contradict myself,
+to say one thing on one page and its opposite
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</a></span>
+on <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'the the'">the</ins> next, I am only reporting the
+various phases assumed by facts without and
+moods within. 'The shield is <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: the original has no period following 'gold'">gold</ins>.' 'No, it is
+silver.' Well, shall we fight about that?
+Probably it is both. A thing may be black in
+one light, and white in another, for what I
+know. Of all fools the positive philosophers
+seem to me the worst; and the most abject
+kind of conceit is that of alleged consistency.
+Why will you insist on a definiteness which has
+so little place in nature? The world is a
+chameleon, and you and I are smaller copies
+of it.</p>
+
+<p>I must try to explain all this to Hartman, and
+make him see that it is time he took on another
+color. He has been down in the depths all this
+while; now let him get up on the heights.
+But he would never do it of himself, nor without
+the management of a more practical mind.
+If I took things as he does, I should be tempted
+to say, "You monumental idiot, to fling a rash
+word at a girl as proud as Lucifer, and then to
+take her hasty repartee as a final verdict from
+doomsday book!" Happily there is one person
+around with sense enough to see that both
+these moon-struck babes are forgivable, and
+therefore capable of such bliss as may be found
+in a world of which the best to be said is that
+we are in very small measure responsible for it.
+They were both foolish, of course; but what
+proportion does their joint offence bear to their
+punishment&mdash;and ours? That is the Order of
+Things&mdash;this blessed and beautiful Kosmos.</p>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_2" id="Footnote_2_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></a>[Note. The unwary reader may possibly need to
+be reminded that R. T. is not to be taken too seriously,
+especially in this his Apology for
+Lying.&mdash;<i>Pub.</i>]</p></div>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><a name="Jane_to_the_Rescue" id="Jane_to_the_Rescue"></a>XXI.</h3>
+
+<h4>JANE TO THE RESCUE.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">It</span> may seem unfeeling in me to indulge in
+dissertations like the above at so critical a
+juncture: but they serve to fill the time while
+I am waiting for marching orders. I have
+written to Jim, and that is all I can do at
+present. Jane thinks differently: she ought to
+have been a man, she is so fond of action. She
+got me in a corner to-day.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, brother?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Jane?"</p>
+
+<p>"What have you done?"</p>
+
+<p>"Done? what should I do?"</p>
+
+<p>"Use a man's tools, that you are so fond of;
+plain speech, if no more. Have you spoken
+to Clarice yet?"</p>
+
+<p>"No: why should I speak to her? She spoke
+to Mabel, not to me."</p>
+
+<p>"Robert, are you ever sincere in anything?
+When <i>I</i> profess affection for people, I am ready
+to serve them at their need."</p>
+
+<p>"So am I, and Clarice knows it. She is perfectly
+aware that I am ready to do this thing,
+or any other thing within my power, for her at
+any time. It is easy for her to say what she
+wants."</p>
+
+<p>"Brother, you are <i>so</i> stupid! Don't you
+know that it is excessively difficult for her to
+allude, however remotely, to a matter like this?
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: 'Say with a quotation mark">Say</ins> what she wants, she would die first. Do
+you desire to wait for that? She is not like
+the rest of us; and a woman is not like a man.
+<i>You</i> could talk for a week, and turn your
+whole mind inside out, with no fatigue&mdash;except
+to your audience; but the faintest reference to
+what I need not name would cost her a painful
+effort. I told you it was a great thing for her
+to say what she did to Mabel. That ought to
+have been enough for you."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</a></span>
+"How could it be enough? Do try to talk
+sense now, Jane. How can I go off blindly
+on a fool's errand&mdash;in her interest, but without
+commission or instructions?"</p>
+
+<p>"Ask her for them, then. It is ungenerous
+to put on her the burden of opening the subject.
+She is doubtless waiting for you to speak,
+and wondering at your slackness."</p>
+
+<p>"Hanged if I can understand that. How
+many times have you lectured me about showing
+her proper respect, and restraining my native
+coarseness, and what not; and now you want
+me to go to her like a trooper or a grand inquisitor,
+and ask about the state of her feelings
+toward Hartman. I can't do it, Jane. When
+you get into such a scrape, I might try it, if
+you insisted&mdash;though it would go against me,
+as Sir Lancelot said: then you could see how
+you liked it. Clarice wouldn't like it at all;
+and she has deserved better things of me than
+that."</p>
+
+<p>"She <i>has</i> deserved better things of you than
+she is getting. I thought you loved her as I
+do. So that was only one of your pretences?"</p>
+
+<p>"I love her too well to harass her; to intrude
+upon her solitude when she does not want me;
+to pry into her affairs without her consent, and
+destroy what chance there is that she may call
+me when she is ready."</p>
+
+<p>"She will never be ready, unless we, that are
+her first friends, come to her aid against her
+own pride and shyness. You think me intrusive&mdash;a
+meddlesome old maid, prying into
+what does not concern me: but, brother, she
+and Mr. Hartman were made for one another.
+They were deeply interested, both of them&mdash;I
+could see it plainly: it would have been settled
+in a few days more, if that wretched misunderstanding
+had not occurred. <i>He</i> may get over
+it; he is a man, though he did not seem to be
+that kind. But she&mdash;she is of the deep, and
+silent, and constant type: she will nurse this
+hurt till it kills her. I love her, Robert; she
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</a></span>
+has nobody but us. She never knew a thing
+like this before; it is her first experience.
+Other men to her were playthings, or bores;
+she had no friend among them but you. You
+cannot fancy how hard it is for her; harder far
+than for a younger girl. She is so helpless, for
+all her pride&mdash;her pride makes her more helpless
+to speak or act. If I could only help her,
+now&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>And here, to my amazement, my stately
+sister broke down in a passion of tears and
+sobs: I never knew her do such a thing before.
+I patted, and petted, and soothed her, and did
+all that a man of humanity and experience
+does in such cases. I shall apply for the title,
+Consoler of Feminine Woes, since the business
+of the office comes to me. It will be Mabel
+next, I suppose, and then this thing must stop,
+unless we begin the round afresh. Clarice
+may naturally want to be comforted once or
+twice more; but I hope soon to remove all
+further occasion for that. Jane and I have not
+been like this since we were children.</p>
+
+<p>"There, there. Sister dear, I would knock
+any man down, and insult any woman, who said
+of you what you just said of yourself. You are
+not an old maid, and you might be a society
+leader if you cared for it: plenty of women are
+who have more years and less looks and manners
+and brains than you. You are as far as possible
+from a meddler: your fault is that you keep
+too much to yourself. I am sure Clarice would
+be touched and flattered by your interest in
+her: I should, if you took a quarter as much
+in me. Do you know, I never saw you look so
+well, or do yourself such credit&mdash;till now&mdash;as
+night before last. My heart said amen to every
+word you uttered, even when you were girding
+at me; for you thought I deserved it, and in
+part I did. I will have no more secrets from
+you&mdash;except such as I have no right to impart.
+If you will, we shall be friends now, and work
+together in this thing. You always seemed to
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</a></span>
+despise me, Jane; and it is tedious when the
+affection is all on one side."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes: you used to have enough of that with
+Clarice."</p>
+
+<p>She was feeling better now. As I may have
+said on some previous occasion, a little judicious
+management will do great things for a woman.
+I must keep this up if I can, and make appropriate
+responses to all her remarks. I have
+been too hard on Jane in the past. After all,
+the tie between brother and sister is a peculiar
+one&mdash;few more so; and, except for the Princess,
+who is such only by adoption, each of us is all
+the other has got in that line. Perhaps I ought
+to have thought of this earlier.</p>
+
+<p>"Clarice appreciates my virtues better now,
+as I hope you will. But I was going to tell
+you: I am of one mind and heart with you
+about this, dear. I have always meant to see
+Hartman this fall, of course; but it was better
+that the suggestion should come from Mabel,
+you see."</p>
+
+<p>"You do tangle things up so unnecessarily,
+Robert. Mabel would have approved of anything
+you proposed, as a matter of course."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, my dear, I have no desire to be a
+dictator in the house, like some men. You all
+have interests and rights to be respected, and I
+want you to have your say."</p>
+
+<p>"We would have it more cheerfully if you
+would take yours&mdash;out plainly, in a man's way,
+you know. Have you written Mr. Hartman?"</p>
+
+<p>"Certainly: that same night, and asked if
+he wanted me next week. That was simple
+enough. I'm not afraid of <i>him</i>."</p>
+
+<p>"I can't see why you should be so afraid of
+Clarice. You've known her all her life, and
+she is only ten years younger than you. If
+she were but seventeen, now, and a new acquaintance,
+I might understand it. You <i>must</i>
+have it out with her, Robert. If I adopt her
+style, perhaps you will do as I wish. Remember,
+we are to work together in this thing, and
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</a></span>
+you are of one mind and heart with me about
+it; so you must let me direct you. Mind,
+now!"</p>
+
+<p>I stared: it was an imitation, gentle and
+subdued indeed, of the Princess as she was in
+her days of glory&mdash;not so long ago, alas!&mdash;before
+the rains descended and the winds blew and
+the storm beat upon her house of life: the
+tones were there, and a hint of the arch looks.
+Where did Jane learn these tricks? And what
+has come over her? A maiden, even of her
+years, is hardly warmed to life by a few compliments
+and caresses from her own mother's
+son. Can Hartman have waked her up too?
+She laughed in my face.</p>
+
+<p>"If our plot succeeds, you may be thrown
+on my society again; and as you are going to
+be so affectionate, I must fill Clarice's place as
+well as I can. Meantime, you had better let
+me guide you; indeed you had."</p>
+
+<p>"That may be; only don't drive me too hard,
+please. I'm not what I once was: all these
+emotions are too many for me. Where do you
+propose to guide me to?"</p>
+
+<p>"To Clarice. Will you come now?"</p>
+
+<p>"Scarcely: a nice reception we should get.
+This is not a case where two are better far than
+one. And then it would be three presently,
+which never answers&mdash;when she is one of them.
+I would rather go alone, and much rather not
+at all. Guide me somewhere else, sweet sister:
+or you can go yourself, if you like. But I
+don't see why she should stand on ceremony
+with me."</p>
+
+<p>"Not with you, but with her own heart&mdash;a
+more recent acquaintance, and much more
+formidable."</p>
+
+<p>"But that is there all the same, whether I
+go to her or she comes to me."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, but&mdash;can't you see? She dislikes to
+take the initiative."</p>
+
+<p>"So do I. According to you, she has taken
+it already."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</a></span>
+"Yes, and once is enough. You are so slow,
+Robert: you require so much teaching."</p>
+
+<p>"I know. But don't despair: Hartman says
+you have improved me a heap, between you.
+You see, the cases are different. None of you
+are the least afraid of me&mdash;I should be sorry if
+you were. But I am afraid of you: you are
+such superior beings. You know you are: you
+look on my masculine dulness with contempt;
+and so do I. It is my deep and loyal respect
+for a woman&mdash;which you said I would never
+learn. Jane, you hurt me then; you have hurt
+me often. I would have been fonder of you&mdash;showed
+it more, I mean; but affection, repulsed,
+shrank into the shell of indifference. Be kind,
+now, and I will do anything you say. You see,
+I <i>am</i> getting on."</p>
+
+<p>"I wish you would get on toward the business
+in hand. A nice time Clarice must have
+had with you. I can see now why she had to
+keep so tight a rein on you, and to rule you by
+fear. Will you speak to her, or will you not?"</p>
+
+<p>"Of course I will, before I go. We can't
+hear from Jim for several days yet. She will
+probably come to me before that. If not, I'll
+have to go to her. Jane, there are some things
+that you don't understand, and I can't explain."</p>
+
+<p>"Queer things they must be, then. I wonder
+that a man should be such a coward."</p>
+
+<p>"If you were a man, you wouldn't. I don't
+care to display my courage at home, sister.
+You are harder than Clarice. You want me
+to be all around the circle at once, and whatever
+I do, you find fault. My dear, ever since
+you spoke, I have been hanging about, to give
+her a chance to say what she wants. How can
+I stride up to her and shout, 'Here, tell me what
+to say to your runaway lover'? She knows all
+about it, if you don't. I'll wait to-morrow
+after breakfast; tell her so, if you will. She
+has only to look at me, and I'll ask her, if she
+wishes. Then you can scold me to your heart's
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</a></span>
+content for making a mess of it, and being
+rough and brutal and stupid. Jane, I am
+doing the best I can. If I could put myself
+absolutely into your hands, and be but a voice
+and body to your mind, it might be an improvement;
+but unhappily that is not feasible
+at present. Will what I propose answer?"</p>
+
+<p>"Perhaps: I will see. I may have been unjust
+to you, Robert: you are different from
+most men, and not easy to understand: you
+like to let part of you pass for the whole.
+Whether you are so easy to rule as you pretend
+to be, I am not sure yet. Well, there is time
+to find out. If you live by your professions,
+well and good. Kiss me, dear; good-night."</p>
+
+<p>Since Jane has panned out in this unexpected
+way, I wish I could tell her the Secret:
+she might give me some points. But that is
+impossible&mdash;unthinkable, as they say at Concord.
+Clarice would never forgive me: that
+would be bad, but not the worst. It would be
+disloyal to her&mdash;distinctly so. That I've never
+been yet, and I'm too old to begin now. There
+may be cases in which the end justifies the
+means, but this is not one of them. No: I
+must dree this weird (if that is the expression),
+and hoe this row, all by myself. If I had been
+bred in the east, I should be tempted to say it
+was a contumelious responsibility. The next
+time you want to get into difficulties with a
+lady, James Hartman, you must do it on some
+other premises than mine.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><a name="An_Ordeal" id="An_Ordeal"></a>XXII.</h3>
+
+<h4>AN ORDEAL.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Next</span> morning I was nosing about in the
+library, pretending to be looking for a book,
+when Clarice came to me and said, "I don't
+think what you want is here. Leave business
+this afternoon, and take me to the Park."</p>
+
+<p>If she were to say, "Leave business this year,
+and take me to Europe, or to Madagascar," I
+should do it: she would have to arrange the
+matter with Mabel, but that she could do without
+difficulty, I have not the least doubt. It
+would be a loss to Water Street, and my departure
+would be felt in business circles generally;
+but they would have to stand it as they
+might. In this case, however, no heavy sacrifice
+was involved: for a few hours, or days, or
+weeks, Pipeline, as Mabel says, can conduct
+the old stand well enough. What it needs is
+the feeling that a master mind presides over its
+destinies, though from such a distance as Newport
+or the Wayback woods.</p>
+
+<p>We agreed on an hour&mdash;that is, she told me
+to be at the door at two&mdash;and I went down
+town, feeling relieved. It is much better for
+Clarice to take the responsibility of opening
+communications, and I wish she would conduct
+the whole interview, like a major-general with
+his aid-de-camp or a master plumber sending
+out his apprentices to mend the pipes&mdash;leaving
+me only to take notes of instructions. But
+that is too much to expect. It is a delicate
+task before me, and my talents for such (according
+to the ladies), are not so eminent that I
+should be anxious to overwork them. I can
+manage a man, and some women perhaps; but
+to catechize and cross-examine her on a subject
+as to which pride, and honor, and modesty lock
+a girl's lips&mdash;I don't see how I can do it, even
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</a></span>
+with her consent. I would rather smoke my
+pipe through a powder mill than hurt you, my
+poor Princess: my clumsy fingers were never
+made to play about your heartstrings.</p>
+
+<p>I dropped in at Trinity on my way, and put
+up a prayer; it was that she might make it easy
+for herself, and for me, though that is a minor
+matter&mdash;keep the game in her own hands, and
+tell enough to serve her ambassador's need,
+without his questioning.</p>
+
+<p>She did not keep me waiting: she never had
+that vice. The change in her is not for casual
+eyes to see. Outwardly, I have fallen off more
+than she has; in fact, I have lost three pounds
+in these last two months. Many a hat was
+raised, many an envious glance turned toward
+me, as we spun up the avenue. The fellows at
+the club, and elsewhere, used to pester me to
+introduce them, and I gratified them for a
+while, till she told me she could not have all
+my acquaintances coming to call, and made
+Mabel say I must leave off bringing men home
+to dinner. She never was a coquette; but what
+is a girl so endowed to do? They would force
+themselves on her, by dozens, by scores, by hundreds:
+they overflowed the house and took up
+all her time; they crowded her life, until she
+could stand it no longer and stopped it. That
+is why we live so quietly of late: it is a great
+improvement. Now, they gaze on her from
+afar: yet she never had difficulty with any of
+them&mdash;till August, alas. That was my fault,
+for bringing in a wild man from the woods,
+who could not be counted on or ruled like the
+rest, but would flop around in his uncircumcised
+way and break things. I should never forgive
+myself for that, if I did not hope to get matters
+right&mdash;and more so than they ever were, for her.</p>
+
+<p>For a time we drove on silently. Then of a
+sudden, without looking at me, she said very
+quietly, "Jane told me you wanted to see me,
+Robert."</p>
+
+<p>O Lord, is this to be the shape of it after all?
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</a></span>
+Well, what must be must, and I will do my
+stint as a man may. "Did she say nothing
+else?"</p>
+
+<p>"That you were afraid to come to me. Have
+I been so harsh with you, or so terrible of late?"
+Her tone was half arch, half reproachful.</p>
+
+<p>"No, no; far from it. But you know how it
+is, Clarice. Your trouble is ours, and I am a
+poor surgeon. How can I put a knife into the
+wound? I wish it were mine, and mine only."</p>
+
+<p>"I have brought trouble on you all, brother.
+I ought to have gone away."</p>
+
+<p>"Never; do you think Mabel and Jane would
+allow that, any more than I? We would all
+rather break our hearts together, if that need
+be, than have you among strangers now: it
+would be worse for us, no less than for you.
+When you are happy you may leave us; not till
+then."</p>
+
+<p>"I know. You love me, here, and bear with
+me, and for me&mdash;though I don't deserve it."</p>
+
+<p>"Don't say that&mdash;anything but that. My
+Princess deserves everything&mdash;and by Jove, she
+shall have it. If I knew exactly what she
+wanted, now&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>All this time we had to be smiling and bowing
+right and left. You can't make pretty
+speeches under such circumstances, or do delicate
+work. I had turned from the main drive,
+but it was only a little better.</p>
+
+<p>"Let us get out of this, Robert. There are
+too many people: we can't talk here."</p>
+
+<p>We went by streets which you must know, if
+you are accustomed to have this kind of business
+on hand. I trust you are not: a little of
+it goes a long way. At last we got into a
+quieter, semi-rural region. Find it out for
+yourself, if you can: I am not going to tell you
+the exact spots made sacred by these confidences.
+Meantime I had been thinking what
+to say, and it came out with a rush. It is a
+little easier when you put the third person for
+the second&mdash;yes, that is a good idea.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</a></span>
+"If I were sure just what she wanted, she
+should have that thing, if there is any power in
+the human will. But I am clumsy, and thick-headed,
+and make blunders&mdash;you have often
+said so, Clarice, and so has Jane, and even
+Mabel. She I speak of is of finer clay than
+others. Her nature has its own laws, which I
+can understand only very imperfectly. Yes,
+you know it is so: you have told me that too.
+O, she need not mind me, nor consider me in
+the least. I am afraid only of offending or
+hurting her: I only want to help and serve her,
+if I can. If she could look on me just as a tool
+to be used, an instrument in case she desired
+to produce certain sounds&mdash;I wish I were more
+capable of harmony&mdash;as a medium
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'possibly&mdash;But'">possibly&mdash;. But</ins>
+she will not <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'speak perhaps'">speak&mdash;perhaps</ins> she cannot.
+And how can I question her, as if from vulgar
+curiosity? What right have I?"</p>
+
+<p>Her eyes were wet now, under her veil: I
+could see it, though nobody else could; and
+we were on a country road.</p>
+
+<p>"Robert, you are the best and dearest man
+in the world."</p>
+
+<p>"Hardly that. But I am proud of your
+approval, and will try to earn it. I have not
+earned it yet, you know."</p>
+
+<p>"Brother, you rate me too high, and&mdash;and
+her you speak of. What if she had what she
+wanted within reach, and rudely thrust it
+away?"</p>
+
+<p>"But she did not do that, dear: she could
+not. I am sure it is there yet, if she would
+deign to take it."</p>
+
+<p>"If that were certain, she would have others
+than herself to think of. So long as it was or
+might be merely herself, what could she do?"</p>
+
+<p>I began to see light now. "There <i>are</i> others;
+and though they are of less consequence, her
+generous heart would not let them suffer.
+Suppose to one of them this meant life or
+death, hope or despair, use or uselessness.
+Suppose one not like most of us, but simple,
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</a></span>
+sincere, and noble, unversed in the world's ways
+and little loving them, with a great heart early
+clouded and a strong mind warped thereby,
+had begun to pin his faith to her I speak of,
+and in her eyes to see reconciliation to earth
+and heaven; and then for one rash word, one
+casual misconception such as comes between
+any of us, had fancied the cup of promise
+snatched away, and in his misjudging innocence
+gone back to his cave of gloom, thinking
+himself doomed to a state worse than that from
+which he had been nearly rescued. Would
+she let him stay there forever?"</p>
+
+<p>"I suppose she ought not&mdash;if she could help
+it. It is well he has better friends than she
+has proved. But I cannot talk of this: indeed
+I cannot. It may be weak and foolish, but I
+cannot. You must do what you have to do in
+your own way.&mdash;No, I will not be such a
+coward, and so basely ungrateful. O, I understand
+your position, Robert. You will have to
+question me: I am sorry, but it is the only
+way. Ask what you absolutely need to know
+for your own guidance&mdash;I know you will ask
+no more&mdash;and I will try to answer."</p>
+
+<p>I groaned; and then I could have choked
+myself. Must my despicable selfishness add to
+her burdens? What are my feelings, my petty
+reluctance, to her interests? Have I not set
+myself aside? Are you not man enough, Robert
+T., to put a few civil queries to a lady,
+when she has just given you express permission,
+and even directed you to do so? The less you
+sneer at cads after this, the better.&mdash;I was so
+long making up my mind to it that the poor
+girl had to speak again.</p>
+
+<p>"I am very sorry, brother. It is too bad to
+burden you so. If I could save you the trouble,
+I would, indeed. O, I appreciate your motives,
+and your delicacy, and all your efforts to shield
+and spare me&mdash;never fancy that I did not, I
+have made more trouble than I am worth. If
+I could only die, and end it all!"</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</a></span>
+This, as you may imagine, put a speedy end
+to my shilly-shallying. "That would end it
+all, with a vengeance. Some other people of
+my acquaintance would want to die then too&mdash;or
+before. Dearest Clarice, don't talk so. Two
+things I can't bear&mdash;your lowering yourself like
+this, and your exalting me. I am a hound: if
+I were half a man, I'd have made it easier for
+you. It is only that I distrust my own ability,
+my own penetration, my own judgment. I
+ought not to need any more instructions&mdash;but
+this business is so important, and I'm afraid of
+making a mess of it."</p>
+
+<p>"Dear Robert, you lay too much stress on
+the opinion I pretended to have of you, in days
+when I only half knew you and thought far too
+much of myself and too little of others. I
+know better now. You have the insight of
+sympathy: your heart will help your head.
+You will not need to ask me many questions;
+you can read between the lines."</p>
+
+<p>"I will try. You need not answer in words
+when you don't want to: just move your head
+a little, and let me see your eyes. You see, in
+view of my stupidity, the less risks we take
+the better: I must have some things down in
+black and white. Well then: you said something
+to Mabel about my health, and the fall
+fishing?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes. You do need a change; I have had
+you on my conscience all this while. It is all
+my doing; and you love me so." Her hand
+stole into mine.</p>
+
+<p>"That is certainly so. Do you know where
+I would go if left to myself&mdash;if these last months
+were blotted from the calendar?"</p>
+
+<p>"Of course. Is it necessary to go through
+all these formalities?"</p>
+
+<p>"I think so: forgive me, dear. I must not
+trust my intuitions too far: they are not as fine
+as yours.&mdash;You know what construction might
+be put on my going there now?&mdash;Not by the
+outside world; it has nothing to do with this
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</a></span>
+business, happily. But by any of us; and more
+especially by&mdash;ah&mdash;by him?"</p>
+
+<p>Her face was set now, her lips closed tight;
+but she nodded.</p>
+
+<p>"You have no word to send, I suppose?&mdash;No,
+of course not: how could you? Then if
+he asks, or if it is necessary to tell him about
+you, as of course it will be, I am to say merely
+what I think, so that you are nowise
+responsible?&mdash;Yes,
+I see. But the main thing to do
+there is to make observations, and bring my
+report to you?&mdash;Certainly: he must put himself
+on record before you do, if this is to go on.
+<i>If?</i> Of course it will: it shall be all right, my
+dear child. Then it follows that I can't bring
+him back with me?&mdash;Why no: he must bide
+his time, and fulfil his penance. That is all, I
+believe: the examination&mdash;or the operation, I
+had nearly said&mdash;is over, and you have borne it
+well. Thank you, Princess; and forgive me
+for troubling you. You won't hate me, will
+you, for having to be so horrid, and making
+you go through all this?&mdash;Thank you again.
+Shall we turn homeward now?&mdash;Yes, we'll be
+there by dark."</p>
+
+<p>She sat very still, and paler than I like to see
+her. As for me, great beads of perspiration
+were on my forehead, though it was a cool day.
+I drove as fast now as the law allows. At last
+she spoke, and her voice trembled. "Brother,
+how shockingly we have all misjudged you!"</p>
+
+<p>"No, dear: you did not misjudge me at all.
+But you have been educating me, and it is fit
+the best there is in me should come to the
+front for your service&mdash;if it never put its head
+up before, nor should again. Wait till I come
+back: I've done nothing yet."</p>
+
+<p>"You have done everything. The rest will
+be easy for you, compared with this."</p>
+
+<p>"By Jove, you are right there: I'm glad
+we're through this part of it.&mdash;One thing more;
+about Jane. She loves you as I do; she has
+been berating me for indifference and slackness
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[132]</a></span>
+in the cause. O, she is a trump: she was
+crying bitterly last night because she could do
+nothing to help you, and because I was too lazy
+and cowardly to move; she has egged me on to
+this. May I tell her what we have agreed on?"</p>
+
+<p>"O yes, tell her anything you like, and Mabel
+too. I have made you all such a poor return:
+any other woman in my place would have
+trusted you long ago, and been the better for
+it. But I am so strangely made, Robert: my
+lips are like a seal to my heart. Excuse me at
+dinner, won't you? And promise me one
+thing&mdash;that always, after this, you will come
+to me at once, without scruple, when you want
+me, on my account or on your own. As if I
+could be reluctant to talk with you! Tell me
+when you hear from him, and when you are
+going, and&mdash;anything else. You won't mind
+my silence, or wait for me to speak? And you
+must never be afraid of me again."</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="Plan_of_Campaign" id="Plan_of_Campaign"></a>XXIII.</h3>
+
+<h4>PLAN OF CAMPAIGN.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The</span> Princess was seen no more that night,
+and I got away till dinner time. Then I said
+that she was not coming down, and anxious
+looks were exchanged, and dark ones cast on
+me. In return I winked at Jane, and frowned
+severely on Herbert, who intercepted the signal
+and began to grin. Mabel, who had seen it
+too, reproved me for setting the boy a bad
+example; and thus a diversion was effected.
+While she was seeing after the children, my
+sister carried me off to the library: I made her
+kiss me before I would tell her anything.</p>
+
+<p>"Jane, you may scold me as much as you
+like after this, and I will never say a cross
+word to you again. Hartman was right: he
+said you had more penetration than any of us,
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[133]</a></span>
+and all sorts of virtues. O, you needn't mind
+about blushing; we are alone. It's true, and
+I shall hold you in honor accordingly."</p>
+
+<p>"Brother, I hope you have not spoiled your
+work with careless handling. I always distrust
+you when you begin your fine speeches."</p>
+
+<p>"That was in the past, which we have put
+behind us: they come now from the <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'abnndance'">abundance</ins>
+of the heart. We are one, you know, and I
+am to tell you everything. Jane, I've done
+exactly as you told me, and given you all
+credit. She knows it was your move; and it's
+all right."</p>
+
+<p>"Then you found that your imagination had
+created, or greatly magnified, the difficulties,
+and that your fears were unnecessary?"</p>
+
+<p>"Far from it. It was a terrible job for both
+of us: the mere recollection of it is harrowing.
+Clarice is laid up, and only my superior physical
+strength and fortitude, with an hour's recuperation,
+enabled me to face you all at
+table."</p>
+
+<p>"Then you must have been rough with her.
+Brother, how could you?"</p>
+
+<p>"What did I tell you? You drive me, with
+all your sharp-pointed feminine weapons, to a
+painful task, and then you blame me because
+you fancy I've not discharged it as neatly as
+the angel Gabriel might. She thinks I did,
+however. Was I rough with you last night?
+Is it my habit to go around trampling on the
+finer feelings of our nature? In the hour of
+woe, when your heartstrings are torn asunder,
+you will find me a first-class comforter. I
+thought you knew that already."</p>
+
+<p>"I doubt if Clarice knows it, if you took this
+tone with her. Can you never be serious,
+Robert?"</p>
+
+<p>"Good heavens, Jane, what would you have?
+Have I not been serious through two weary
+months, and eminently so all this afternoon?
+I had to be. Let the overstrung bow be relaxed
+a little now. You remember the Prime Minister,
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[134]</a></span>
+who after an exciting debate used to go
+home and play with his children?</p>
+
+<p>"As exciting debates are usually conducted
+in the small hours, it was cruel to disturb
+their infant slumbers. If you want to do that
+here you will have to get Mabel's consent; it is
+out of my province. Best play with your children
+before they go to bed."</p>
+
+<p>"Children of a larger growth will serve.
+Bear with me, sister. My faculties have been
+sorely tasked: I am spent and weary&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"And you must have somebody to play with.
+Was that why you were so fond of Clarice, because
+she sometimes humored you? She could
+hardly serve your turn now: the poor child is
+in no jesting mood. Nor am I; nor ought you
+to be."</p>
+
+<p>"Sister, you wrong me. It is my warmth of
+heart, my fraternal affection, which you have
+so oft-repulsed. Mine is a poet's nature. You
+stare, but it is so: it is only lately that I
+discovered the fact myself. Like the elder
+Bulwer, I pine for appreciation, for sympathy&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"You will continue to pine if you go on like
+this. I never saw such a man for beating
+about the bush and talking nonsense. What
+have you accomplished?&mdash;I don't want to pry
+into her secrets, or ask her to share her confidences,
+but&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Now, Jane, if you have any heart left, I
+will bring the tear of contrition to your eye.
+I asked and obtained her permission to tell you
+all I know, and all we have just arranged."</p>
+
+<p>"Don't be so long about it, then. What
+are the arrangements?"</p>
+
+<p>So I imparted them with but little modification
+or reservation; and Mabel coming in
+presently, I went over the main outlines again.
+It is not every man who could thus communicate
+state secrets to his family; but mine never
+talk about home affairs to outsiders. One
+point is, they do not attend the Sewing Society:
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[135]</a></span>
+if they did, I should feel less safe. They approved
+in the main.</p>
+
+<p>"It hardly seems fair to Mr. Hartman," said
+Jane; "but no doubt <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: it">it's</ins> as much as you can
+expect from her."</p>
+
+<p>"I should say it was: why, she is acting
+nobly. If it were any other man, he should,
+and would, have all the making up to do,
+instead of putting it on us. You see, you&mdash;that
+is, we&mdash;don't exactly know what the
+quarrel was. He must have been in the wrong,
+of course."</p>
+
+<p>"O yes, because you are a man. Now suppose
+I, being a woman, say, 'She must have
+been in the wrong, of course.'"</p>
+
+<p>"My dears," said Mabel, "let us compromise.
+They are both human beings; probably they
+were both in the wrong."</p>
+
+<p>"Happy thought," said I. "We'll fix it that
+way: then they have only to kiss and be friends.
+But still, the man is generally expected to open
+the ball."</p>
+
+<p>"That is," said Jane, "if all does not go
+smoothly from the start, which can hardly be
+expected, poor Mr. Hartman is to be sacrificed."</p>
+
+<p>"I would not put it just that way; though
+he, or any man, ought to be glad to be sacrificed
+for Clarice. She is naturally first with
+me, as I should suppose she would be with
+you&mdash;except that, as you pertinently observe,
+you also are a woman. But never fear, Jane;
+I'll attend to Hartman's case too. I hope to
+act as attorney for both plaintiff and
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'defendent'">defendant</ins>,
+and speedily to reconcile their conflicting
+interests. It is true I am on a prospecting
+tour: I have no retainer from him yet. But I
+shall soon pocket that, and master his side of
+the suit. O, I'll take him up tenderly, and
+handle with care."</p>
+
+<p>"Of course you will, Robert," said Mabel.
+"If there is any quality for which you are distinguished,
+it is the even-tempered justice of
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[136]</a></span>
+your mind. You can argue on both sides of a
+case with equal fluency and force, and that quite
+independent of your personal predilections."</p>
+
+<p>"Just so. But I fear Jane has not the
+same confidence in my fairness and ability
+with you, my dear. You will have to talk to
+her privately, and bring her to a proper frame
+of mind. She is my only and much loved
+sister, and I can't go till she has faith in me."</p>
+
+<p>"It is you who are not in a proper frame of
+mind as to Mr. Hartman's side of this affair,
+brother. A man has no sympathy, no charity,
+for another man. You can be all tenderness,
+and consideration, and faith, and loyalty, to a
+woman&mdash;when she has Clarice's looks; but
+when it is only an old friend who trusts you,
+you will laugh, and sneer, and amuse yourself
+at his expense, and either delude him or hopelessly
+estrange him."</p>
+
+<p>"Did you ever hear the like? Yesterday,
+and the day before, she insisted on my going;
+and now, when I am all on fire to go, she
+throws cold water on my zeal, and&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>Here my wife interrupted me. "Jane, it is
+you who show undue levity. You forget that
+Clarice is my cousin; that is why Robert is so
+fond of her, and espouses her cause so warmly.
+I think it is very good of him, and very generous."</p>
+
+<p>"Now you have hit it: Jane, hide your diminished
+head. Mabel, if Hartman can prove
+affinity with you, I will take just as much
+pains for him as for Clarice. But, sister, you
+and I must be one. I tell you what I will
+do: I will stay at home all next Sunday, and
+let you preach to me: then, if you can't fill me
+to the nozzle with your views, whose fault will
+it be? Or you might go along, as you wanted
+to in May. Then you could personally superintend
+the campaign."</p>
+
+<p>"My only hope is that you will sober down
+before you get there. In this mood you could
+do no good at all."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[137]</a></span>
+"That's where you are mistaken. Jim expects
+me to brighten him up: <i>he</i> is not wholly
+without a sense of humor. But if you think I
+am going there for amusement, you are out
+again. I shall take Young's Night Thoughts,
+and Hervey's Meditations among the Tombs,
+and a volume or two of sermons, to read on the
+way, and get my mind attuned to the atmosphere
+of the place. My jokes there will be
+solemn and elaborate offerings, prompted solely
+by a humane sense of necessity. But, Jane,
+you are in a minority of one. Clarice has
+confidence in me: you ask her. And so has
+Mabel: haven't you, my love?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, certainly. Why, Jane, Robert is the
+only person who can possibly manage this
+affair, since you and I can't well go, and
+Clarice does not like to speak out herself. We
+could not commit it to a stranger, you know.
+Robert knew Mr. Hartman before any of us
+did; they were old friends at college. He is
+the natural link between them, you might say.
+If he will only remember not to laugh in the
+wrong places, as he did that time we took him
+to church, when the minister thumped his
+sermon off the pulpit, and not to tell the wrong
+stories, as he so often does at table, and not to
+yawn when Mr. Hartman explains how badly
+he has been feeling since he left us, he will do
+very well. You can't expect him to take the
+same interest in Mr. Hartman as in Clarice:
+would he care for us as he does, if we were
+men? Jane, he is pointed out by Providence
+as the means of reconciling them. You must
+see that he is to be trusted entirely. Under
+his supervision it will all come right: I said so
+from the beginning."</p>
+
+<p>After this, there seemed no need of further
+remarks. Mabel withdrew early, and I went
+out to smoke. When I came back, I found
+Jane again in tears.</p>
+
+<p>"Brother, tell me that you were only playing
+with me, and that you are really in earnest
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[138]</a></span>
+about this matter, and will do your best to set
+it straight."</p>
+
+<p>"My dear sister, I will tell you anything you
+like, if you will only believe me; what is the
+use, if you won't? Do you suppose I care less
+for Clarice's happiness than you do&mdash;or for
+Jim's either? I wish you would talk to her,
+and let her clarify your ideas. Faith, as you
+may have heard in church, is a saving grace,
+and essential to peace of mind. Within a
+month or two you will see whether I fail my
+friends or not, and then perhaps you will learn
+to trust me. Jane, I believe in you now, even
+if you don't believe in me; I would do almost
+anything to please you. You want me to
+change my nature: I would do even that, but
+it is so expensive, and then the new one
+might not fit as well as what I have now. You
+are very exacting, but you can't quarrel with
+me, because I will be no party to such proceedings."</p>
+
+<p>"Brother, it all rests with you. If you will
+bring them together, I will never doubt you
+again."</p>
+
+<p>"No, my dear, I'll not hold you to that.
+You shall doubt me as often as you like; but
+I will keep my promises all the same."</p>
+
+<p>You see, I am trying new tactics with Jane
+now. Magnanimity, patient forgiveness of injuries,
+disinterested and persistent affection,
+will in time soften the most obdurate. After
+Clarice goes off, there will be so few of us left
+that I can't afford to be on any but the best
+terms with such as remain. And then my
+sister, when she is willing to do herself&mdash;and
+me&mdash;justice, has some quite creditable traits.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[139]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><a name="To_Wayback_again" id="To_Wayback_again"></a>XXIV.</h3>
+
+<h4>TO WAYBACK AGAIN.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">I pass</span> succeeding interviews, of which there
+were several. Poor Clarice had little to say,
+but was quite willing to listen to any suggestions
+of mine. What Jane unkindly calls
+beating about the bush is necessary with a
+person of her sensitive organization. She
+seems to feel that she has fallen from her old
+estate, and is not yet established in a new one.
+I am satisfied that she never would have made
+those admissions, slight as they are, and allowed
+me to go on this secret embassy, if she
+had only herself to consider. For the first
+time duty to others has come into collision
+with her pride, and shaken the citadel of her
+reserve. Always hitherto she has had things
+and people come to her; the exercise has been
+in keeping them off. To want, to seek, to
+invite&mdash;to lift a finger, unless in the way of
+small and graceful social management&mdash;this is
+new to her, and she takes it hard. The thing I
+have to do beyond all others is to preserve her
+dignity: she knows I can be trusted for that,
+though Jane does not. I can't blame <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: punctuation on the original is unclear here">Jane:</ins>
+she has never seen me conduct an affair like
+this, nor has any one else, for the simple
+reason that I never had it to do till now. I
+am only her brother: she has had experience of
+all my failings, and is imperfectly acquainted
+with my resources. Mabel is more satisfactory.
+She has not figured as much as some others in
+this chronicle; connubial modesty prevents my
+making her prominent. But she too possesses
+some very good traits; especially she has a way
+of bringing forward and dwelling upon points
+which nobody else would think of mentioning.
+She used to scold me sometimes, but that was
+chiefly when she thought I was not treating
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[140]</a></span>
+Clarice well. She lays great stress on ties of
+blood, and considers herself natural guardian
+and defender to the Princess, whom she sometimes
+forgets that I knew for fifteen years
+before I ever met her. Clarice talks little
+with her, and no more with Jane: I really
+believe that her only confidences&mdash;which are
+not much, if measured by words&mdash;have been
+made to me. But they are very fond of each
+other all the same. I suppose you can understand
+that much affection can exist with little
+intimacy. The Princess was cast in her own
+peculiar mould: I don't want to see many more
+like her, for they would be poor imitations.
+None of us ever attempt to pry into her inner
+life&mdash;or to meddle with her outward life either;
+when she wants anything of any of us, we are
+ready, and there it ends. She knows we love
+her, and that is enough.</p>
+
+<p>Hartman, now, is much less impenetrable;
+though I suppose he will shut himself up like
+an oyster over the dubious pearl of his precious
+secret, and give me no end of trouble to extract
+his contents. But I possess a knife which is
+able to open his shell. He has answered my
+letter promptly, and expects me presently.
+Does he think I am going up there merely to
+fish and hunt, and hear him talk a lot of rubbish
+about the Vanity of Life? Or does he
+scent my deeper motives&mdash;discern the Ethiopian
+within the encompassing pale, as they say in
+Boston? If so, he is apparently as willing to
+be operated on as he was before. At any rate
+he is a gentleman, and knows how to respect a
+woman&mdash;when he takes time to think about it.
+This is a delicate business for him as well as
+for the lady&mdash;and there is where the awkwardness
+comes in: from his point of view he can't
+speak out, any more than she. Well, I'll turn
+him inside out and manipulate him, if it takes
+the whole week. Happily I don't have to
+consider him as I did Clarice; as Jane intimates,
+a man can't expect to have his feelings
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[141]</a></span>
+spared in the process. What are a man's feelings
+anyway, compared with a woman's? And
+what rights has he as against <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'her'">hers</ins>? No: between
+man and man all that can be needed is
+plain speech and manly frankness&mdash;aided by
+a little diplomacy. I'll break you to pieces,
+James H., if you are fractious; and I've got
+the weapons to do it with. It is all for your
+good, and you'll bless me the rest of your life.
+One thing must be understood: I can't have
+you coming to my place and practising your
+wild backwoods manners on my family, and
+then sneaking off in the night and evading
+responsibility. The next time you come you
+will have to behave yourself, and to stay till
+Somebody has had enough of you.</p>
+
+<p>Mabel thinks I ought to enliven the account
+of my trip with descriptions of scenery and the
+like. But a rock is a rock, and a field is a
+field, and who wants to know whether a tree is
+elm or maple? I am not a geological survey,
+and you can get mountains enough from Craddock.
+Not that I am insensible to the beauties
+of Nature&mdash;as I have proved before now. How
+often have I sat upon an eminence, and admiringly
+gazed at the departing luminary as
+he sank slowly to rest, flooding hill and valley
+with tints which a painter might strive in vain
+to reproduce! I would have to sit there some
+time to see it all, for I have noticed that with
+us the Sunset proper does not begin till after
+the Setting of the Sun is finished. And when
+the distant mountains assumed a robe of royal
+purple, and 'the death-smile of the dying day'
+lingered pathetically on the horizon, my
+thoughts would soar to the Celestial City, and
+long to rest themselves upon its pavement of
+liquid gold. I heard Dr. Chapin say these
+last words at the first lecture I ever attended,
+and it struck my infant intelligence
+that they ought to be preserved. And I too
+might be a poet if I lived in the country, in
+constant communion with Nature, abandoning
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[142]</a></span>
+my soul to her maternal caress. But alas, the
+stir, the scramble, the mad whirl of city life,
+the debasing contact with low material minds,
+the daily study of Prices Current, make even of
+me a muckworm. Still, I might work up a
+brook or two after I get to the woods, or expatiate
+on a seven-pound trout: my conscience
+forbids me to weigh them higher, for I never
+saw any above three. And yet some men will talk
+familiarly of ten-pounders!&mdash;Or I might analyze
+the mediæval garments of Hodge and his old
+Poll. As for the Wayback houses, they are like
+any other habitations, only less of them, and
+few and far between: Jim's is the best, and it is
+nothing to brag of. You can see much better
+buildings any day on Broadway. The rural parts,
+as Lord Bacon observed, are but a den of savage
+men. It is to see one of these, and resume the
+interrupted process of civilizing him, that I am
+about starting on this philanthropic journey,
+leaving my happy home and the advantages of a
+metropolis. If the savage breast is open to
+ennobling influences, it shall be soothed and
+charmed by the music of my discourse. What
+loftier, more disinterested task than to reclaim
+the wanderer, and guide the penitent in the way
+wherein he should go? I began this soul-raising
+labor some time ago, but an unexpected
+hitch occurred in the proceeding: there must
+be no more such now.</p>
+
+<p>I found Hodge awaiting me at the station:
+he said that Hartman was arranging the tackle
+for to-morrow. The fact is, it is one of Jim's
+notions not to keep a horse, but to depend on
+Hodge for his communications with the outside
+world; and another never to see the railroad
+when he can help it.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, old man," I said as the effete steed
+began laboriously to get in motion, "how is
+your valuable health?"</p>
+
+<p>"Pooty tollable. How's them gells o' yourn
+as wanted to foller ye up here las' time?"</p>
+
+<p>"The ladies are reasonably well, and will be
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[143]</a></span>
+flattered by your inquiries. How is Mr. Hartman?"</p>
+
+<p>"Wall, Square, I ain't none too satyfied 'bout
+him. He don't say nothin to nobody, but he
+seems kinder low in his mind, like. Ever
+sence you played that durn trick on me and
+him, he's ben someways diffurnt. He&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Look here, my aged friend; why should
+you accuse me of playing durn tricks on people?
+To what circumstance do you allude?"</p>
+
+<p>"I ain't alludin' to nothin; I says it out
+plain. If ye don't know, Id'no as I'm called
+to tell ye. Me an' Hartman was gittin on fust
+rate, till ye come and upsot us; we ain't used
+to bein upsot. So when our commydations
+wan't good enough for ye an' yer gells, ye
+went and got Hartman down thar in the city,
+or wharever 'twas. An' Id'no what ye done
+to him thar, an' I spose it's no good to ask a
+feller like ye; but he ain't ben the same man
+sence. That's how <i>he</i> is. He uster be chipper,
+an' peart, an' clost frens with me; an' now he
+don't say nothin. Ye can see fur yerself pooty
+durn soon."</p>
+
+<p>And the native bestowed on me a malign
+glance. I trotted him out and entertained
+myself with his paces (which were livelier than
+those of his nag) for the next three hours.
+Those who like nature unadorned can find it
+here. As a specimen of unbridled rancor
+Hodge deserves a prize. I believe I have got
+to the bottom of his luminous intellect&mdash;not
+that it was worth the labor, if one had anything
+else to do. Supposing himself Jim's most intimate
+friend, he is jealous of me as a rival in
+that capacity; and he has never forgiven the
+slight put on his establishment in connection
+with the girls' proposed visit. I partly appeased
+him by suggesting that he supply the shanty
+with a new signboard labeled 'Palace Hotel.'
+Fortunately I don't have to put up there this
+time.</p>
+
+<p>Of course he told me a lot of lies. A casual
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[144]</a></span>
+eye could see no change in the recluse: his head
+does not hang down on his breast, his locks are
+not long and matted, his sighs do not resound
+through the primeval forest and scare away
+the panthers. When you look closely at him,
+or have been with him long enough, you can
+see that he is a little thinner, a little older, a
+little less inclined to chaff&mdash;as well he may be.
+Chaffing is a bad habit anyway, and was his
+worst fault when I was here before; so far, his
+woes have improved him. He met me cordially
+enough, but with no wild demonstration: he
+seems no nearer insanity than last May. He
+asked after Mabel, Jane, and the children, but
+not after Clarice; nor did I mention her, of
+course. It was not a very pleasant evening, for
+each of us was watching the other to see what
+he would say. He knows as well as I do that
+the enemy has troops in reserve: he is not so
+unsuspicious as he was. He did not ventilate
+his theories to any great extent, nor did I see
+my way to expound my great scheme for the
+Ascertainment of Truth: the ground ought to
+be in good condition before you drop seed of
+such value upon it.</p>
+
+<p>If I thought things would go on like this,
+I should begin to grumble; but we shall probably
+get broken in to each other in a day or
+two, and then I can thaw him out. We talked
+glittering generalities for a while&mdash;the weather,
+and the war prospects abroad, and the chances
+of getting deer on the other side of a mountain
+not far away&mdash;like any commonplace boobies
+at a county fair. Then he proposed for next
+morning a stream I had not seen, some distance
+off, which would necessitate a start before daybreak:
+so I pretended to be tired from the
+journey, and we turned in early.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[145]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><a name="A_Wild_Brook" id="A_Wild_Brook"></a>XXV.</h3>
+
+<h4>A WILD BROOK.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Next</span> day we went some miles along a lonely
+road, and then through the fields of an abandoned
+farm. I don't wonder they abandoned
+it; I am only sorry for the poor wretch who
+once cherished the delusive dream of scratching
+a living there; when he died or went back to
+Canada, he couldn't well be worse off. Nature
+had but partially reclaimed the land, and we
+tramped through weeds and grass up to our
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: punctuation in the original is unclear here">middle;</ins> one might as well be wading a fair-sized
+river. You have no idea of the dew up
+here till you have tried it. After a while we
+struck into the woods, and such woods you
+never saw&mdash;at least I hope so for your sake.
+Rocks, big and little, generally of the most
+unchristian shapes&mdash;not picturesque, but sprawling;
+underbrush wherever it had a chance to
+grow: you could scarcely find a foot of smooth
+ground. The worst of it was the way the trees
+lay around loose. The region had not been
+burned over, at least not for many years; but
+it did seem to have been cursed, as if Adam's
+fall had been enacted there. The monarchs of
+the forest, for countless generations, had indulged
+a depraved propensity to fall also, and
+across each other in all possible directions. It
+was such an abattis as I trust our men, in the
+war, never had to fight their way through:
+here it was bad enough without anybody to
+shoot at you. I would go rods out of my way
+to get around a great bowlder, and come upon
+a conglomeration of big trees which had tumbled
+about till they made a Virginia fence
+fifteen feet high. Climbing is all very well in
+its way, but I don't like this kind. The queer
+thing was that they had not the sense to decay
+and crumble; the wood was mostly sound enough
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[146]</a></span>
+to be standing yet. I asked Hartman why
+they did not haul off all this timber, and he
+said there was no place to haul it to, nor any
+way to haul it, nor anybody to do the hauling;
+that fuel was cheap, and the few inhabitants
+had plenty nearer home; and besides, that it
+was most ornamental and useful where it was&mdash;it
+afforded exercise to the bodily and spiritual
+muscles of any anglers from the city who might
+come that way like me. "You forget the
+characteristics of this region, which are its
+advantages in my view. You can get turnpike
+roads, and teams, and sawmills, nearer home.
+You come up here to be away from the busy
+haunts, you know, and to see Nature in her
+native purity. This stream that I am taking
+you to is very seldom visited."</p>
+
+<p>"I should think it would be, if this is the
+way to get to it," I said, as I fell over a root
+and barked my nose and knees. "What the
+deuce did we come to such a blanked place
+for?"</p>
+
+<p>"For trout: you said they were what you
+wanted. The less fishermen, the more fish.
+This is the best brook in the county, because it
+is the least accessible. I rarely come here
+myself: I've been saving it up this year for
+you."</p>
+
+<p>We went on, our progress marked by frequent
+delays and accidents; that it was marked by no
+profanity was due merely to Jim's reticence
+and to my exceptional manners and principles.
+After what seemed to me about twenty miles&mdash;though
+he said it was only one and a half&mdash;of
+this singularly forsaken country, he cried,
+"Look out now, or you'll fall in. Here is the
+brook."</p>
+
+<p>It made noise enough to be heard a long way
+off, but I thought that was something else&mdash;some
+kobolds or other abnormal beings, probably,
+working at their forges underground.
+The brook itself was well enough, but it did
+not seem to belong there; you could not see it
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[147]</a></span>
+till you were on the edge of it. I have fished
+a good many streams, and tramped through all
+sorts of woods, but I never saw such a place as
+that before, and I never want to again. We
+had left our rods at home; high-toned anglers
+who carry fancy tackle through such regions
+leave it along the painful way in small pieces.
+So we carried merely our baskets&mdash;which were
+encumbrance enough&mdash;and what we had in our
+pockets. You can cut a pole anywhere, and it
+does not want to be a long one either: take
+your fly-book if you like, but worms are as good
+or better. There was no use of wading: you
+would be more likely to scare the fish so than
+by staying on the bank, where they could never
+see you; the difficulty was to see far enough to
+throw in five feet of line. It was a superior
+brook&mdash;all but the getting to it, and, as I afterwards
+found, away from it. If it could be removed
+from its loathsome surroundings and put
+down in a decent country, I would go there every
+year. I was going to say that some of the
+cascades were forty feet high, till I remembered
+that trout cannot climb as far as that.</p>
+
+<p>"Don't lose your balance," said Jim; "these
+fish are fierce." They were, in the wilder parts.
+They would bite like mad, and then wriggle
+and wrench themselves off the hook before you
+could get them up the bank. I never saw or
+heard of such ferocity, except in the celebrated
+scaly warrior which chased an equally famous
+fisherman all over an Adirondack lake, jumped
+across his boat several times, and, if I remember
+rightly, bit him on the nose. No such adventure
+fell to my lot on this occasion, though I
+thought that some of them, when sufficiently
+near my face, grinned at me as they parted
+company. Yet none of them were over half a
+pound, and most of them much less. You can
+see that this healthful pastime does not produce
+its usual demoralizing effect on me. When
+we reached a flat piece of ground, the water
+would become quiet and the manners of the
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[148]</a></span>
+fish more humane, so that they would come out
+like chubs. I stood in one spot under a tree,
+and took twenty-nine in succession. My sister,
+looking over these memoirs, suggests that they
+probably <i>were</i> chubs; but Hartman, who was
+behind me then, came up and saw them, so I have
+his evidence. He said it was a spawning bed,
+and I ought to put the twenty-nine back. Who
+would have thought him capable of such mean
+jealousy? But he cannot play his tricks on
+me.</p>
+
+<p>About two P.M. he said we had better start.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, we don't want to reach home much
+before dark," said I.</p>
+
+<p>"No danger of it. It's much worse getting
+out of this than getting in. You saw how
+much path there is: we can't go straight, and
+it's all chance where we strike the fields.
+You'd better eat what you've got, and drink
+all you can: there's no water between this and
+the road."</p>
+
+<p>"Didn't you take landmarks? Look at the
+mountains all round."</p>
+
+<p>"They are like the mountains about the Dark
+Tower Childe Roland came to. I've been here
+twice before, and missed the way back both times.
+Nobody ever got out of here without going a
+circuit to the right, and taking his chances.
+The natives are afraid to come here: they say
+there are ghosts&mdash;the ghosts of those who got
+lost of old, and were eaten by bears. That's
+how we took so many trout. Look to your belt
+now, and the straps of your basket. The last
+time I was here, the other fellow lost his fish
+in the woods, and I made him go back and
+hunt them up: it was near night before he
+found them, and his basket was not much
+heavier than yours is now. If we should have
+to camp out, we can build a fire, cook some of
+the fish, and probably avoid freezing: but we'd
+better try to get out."</p>
+
+<p>I thought so too, and supposed he was trying
+to scare me; but the sun was nearly down when
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[149]</a></span>
+we saw the fields. We went four times too far,
+through that beastly region of rocks and dead
+trees: I think our course was mainly northwest
+by south-southeast. At last we got back to
+the house, tired and hungry; but Jim's old
+housekeeper is a pretty good cook for a native,
+and there is no better supper than trout that
+were in the water the same day.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="An_Intractable_Patient" id="An_Intractable_Patient"></a>XXVI.</h3>
+
+<h4>AN INTRACTABLE PATIENT.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">When</span> we were settled down to our pipes, I
+said, "Is this the way you treat the friends
+of your youth, when they entrust life and limb
+to your hospitality?"</p>
+
+<p>"I give 'em the best I've got: sorry if it
+doesn't suit. There's no Delmonico's round the
+corner, here. What's the matter with you, old
+man?"</p>
+
+<p>"O, it's not your housekeeping: that's all
+right. But why did you lead me such a dance,
+and get me lost in that unconscionable doghole
+of a wilderness?"</p>
+
+<p>"Did you ever take so many fish out of a
+brook in one day before? No, of course you
+didn't. Well, that's why. I told you it would
+be a rough expedition; but I thought you
+came here to rough it. You didn't expect balls
+and a casino, did you? You were here last
+May."</p>
+
+<p>"Last May I saw nothing as bad as this to-day.
+You haven't been playing it on me, I
+hope? Jim, have you got any grudge against
+me?"</p>
+
+<p>"What should I have? You're deucedly suspicious
+and sensitive&mdash;far more so than I was
+with you. I believe I let you play on me to
+your heart's content, and never complained&mdash;did
+I?"</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[150]</a></span>
+"Jim, I don't like this. There's a change
+in you: Hodge said so, and I didn't believe
+him. You're not the same man."</p>
+
+<p>"O, we all change&mdash;from year to year, and
+from day to day. But I ought never to have
+left these woods, Bob, and that's the truth.
+You should have let me stay here as I was."</p>
+
+<p>"I meant it in all kindness, for your good,
+Jim. Surely you'll do me the justice to acknowledge
+that."</p>
+
+<p>"No doubt. But your philanthropic experiments
+are apt to be damnably expensive to the
+patient."</p>
+
+<p>"You couldn't be much worse than you were,
+according to your own account. Any change
+ought to have been for the better."</p>
+
+<p>"That was your assumption. Do I strike
+you as being changed for the better?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, no, you don't&mdash;not to put too fine a
+point upon it."</p>
+
+<p>He certainly does not. His whole manner
+is altered. His former gentleness has given
+way to rough harshness. You have seen how
+he treats me. It may be his best, as he says;
+if so, his best is far from good. His bitterness
+used to be, if I may say so, in the abstract,
+and leveled against abstractions; now it seems
+to have a painfully concrete character and aim.
+His estrangement from the scheme of things,
+or from his kind at least, was purely intellectual,
+leaving his heart no more affected than the
+heart usually is by brain-disorders; now it is
+moral. He is like a man tormented by remorse,
+or regrets as savage. But I think I know a
+cure for his complaint.</p>
+
+<p>After a pause he said, "I don't want to blame
+you, Bob, and I don't propose to whine. Nor
+was it any great matter what came to me,
+wherever it might come from. I thought I
+was done with the world, and had nothing to
+fear from it, except being bored and disgusted.
+There was only one thing I cared about, and
+that I supposed I could keep. I was mistaken.
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[151]</a></span>
+It was my little ewe lamb&mdash;all I had; and they
+took it from me."</p>
+
+<p>"I thought your live stock was confined to
+dogs, and a cow, and the tomcat&mdash;by the way,
+I don't see him any more. I didn't know you
+went into sheep. Was Tommy the ewe-lamb,
+and did the dogs play Nathan and David with
+him?"</p>
+
+<p>This I said, thinking to cheer him up a bit;
+but he only scowled. Really, I must remember
+Mabel's caution about telling the wrong stories
+and laughing in the wrong places. "Well,
+Jim, what was 'it' that you valued so, and who
+were 'they' who took it away?"</p>
+
+<p>"The prince of the power of the air; the
+spirit that walks in darkness, and rules in the
+children thereof. The beautiful order of things
+generally, and their incurable depravity. All
+these are one, and the name doesn't matter.
+If you urged me to it, I might say that you had
+played a very passable David to my Uriah."</p>
+
+<p>"Who&mdash;I? I'm not a sheep-stealer. What
+would I want to hurt you for? Jim, you're
+joking, and it's a joke of doubtful taste."</p>
+
+<p>"Do I look like it? <i>You</i> might find a joke
+in this: you can find them everywhere. I
+can't."</p>
+
+<p>"As I told you, you take Life too seriously.
+If you will be more specific, and tell me what
+you have lost, perhaps I can help you to find
+it."</p>
+
+<p>"Some losses are irrecoverable. You'd better
+let it alone, Bob; you'd better have let me
+alone before, as I've said. You mean well
+enough; but it's ill meddling with another
+man's life. You don't know what responsibility
+you take, or what effect you may produce.
+I don't say that it's the worst of all possible
+worlds, but it is such that each of us had best
+go his own way, and keep clear of the others.
+When one forgets that safe rule, and mixes with
+his kind, only harm seems to come of it."</p>
+
+<p>"If that is so, I might better have staid at
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[152]</a></span>
+home now. Methinks your written hand is
+different from your spoken. I mean&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"O yes, when I write I try to come out of
+myself and be decently civil; and so I should
+to a chance visitor for five minutes, or an hour
+maybe. But I can't keep it up all day&mdash;not to
+say for a week. You'll have to see the facts,
+and bear with them. I don't want to be rough
+on you; but I'm not myself&mdash;or not what I
+was before, or supposed myself to be. It's all
+in the plan, no doubt; we are fulfilling the
+beneficent intentions of Nature. Perhaps I'm
+breaking down, and the end is not so far off as
+we thought. If so, so much the better: we'll
+escape that sad old age you prophesied."</p>
+
+<p>Now I am not lacking in humanity, but it
+does not afflict me as it did six months ago to
+hear Jim go on in this way. I know what is
+the matter with him now, and what he is
+driving at, though I must assume ignorance for
+a while yet. The patient must tell his symptoms,
+and then the doctor will give him the
+physic he needs, and proceed to make a new
+man of him. That is what I am after now,
+and the good work must not be spoiled by undue
+haste. So I put on a decorous air of sympathy,
+and said,</p>
+
+<p>"That's all bosh, you know. If anything is
+the matter with you physically, I ought to hear
+about it; but I don't believe there is. As for the
+mind, we are all subject to gloomy moods and
+periods of depression; but they pass, Jim&mdash;they
+pass. You believed in friendship before; hadn't
+you better tell me what you think ails you?"</p>
+
+<p>"I can't talk about it, except in this roundabout
+way: what's the use? Best keep to
+broad principles: the particular case only illustrates
+the general law. I knew it of old: what
+business had I to expose myself again? What
+would you do with a child who will keep on
+playing about moving cars, or mill machinery?
+Let him fall under the wheels, and rid the
+earth of an idiot."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[153]</a></span>
+"O no: pull him out in time, and he'll learn
+better. Well, Jim, you might at least tell me
+what hand I had in this catastrophe."</p>
+
+<p>"O, none, none whatever: how should you?
+You never laid any plots for me, and used me
+for your mirth. You never devised an elaborately
+concealed ambush, and smoothed it over
+till I was in the snare. That would be foreign
+to your open and candid nature. It is very
+good fun to practice on unsuspecting innocence;
+but you are far above that."</p>
+
+<p>"See here, Hartman: you talk as if my house
+were a den of iniquity. If so, I was not aware
+of it till now. Your ill opinion has not thus
+far been reciprocated. We entertain none but
+kind feelings toward you: we all regretted your
+hasty departure. You were received as a
+friend, and treated as such, I believe. My wife
+and sister often speak of you: you could command
+their fullest sympathy in this, or any
+trouble, real or imaginary."</p>
+
+<p>"That I never doubted: I owe them nothing
+but pleasant memories, and thankful good
+will.&mdash;You need not stare at me so: I make no
+charges, and imply none.&mdash;Well, if you must
+have it, I can say that every member of your
+family has my absolute respect,&mdash;down to the
+twins; do you understand? If I have any
+grudge, it is toward you alone."</p>
+
+<p>It was plain that he forced himself to say
+this&mdash;or some of it&mdash;as if it were coming perilously
+near a name he could not utter. He is
+having his bad time now, as I had mine last
+week. It is his own fault: he has no need to
+be so censorious. He <i>had</i> to say what he did,
+or there would be trouble: some things a man
+cannot stand, and my best friend would be my
+friend no longer, if he ventured to reflect upon
+the Princess.</p>
+
+<p>"I'm glad to hear you say so: the difficulty
+is simple then, and easily settled. You've got
+no pistols, of course, and I didn't bring mine.
+I'll take your rifle, and you can borrow Hodge's
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[154]</a></span>
+old shotgun: if it bursts, it won't be much loss&mdash;only
+you mustn't come too near me with it.
+There's no danger of interference from the
+police up here, I judge? But I say, what shall
+we do for a surgeon?"</p>
+
+<p>"There you go again, turning everything into
+a jest. Can you never be serious, man?"</p>
+
+<p>"Try to say something original, James: that
+is stale. Jane asks me that about six times a
+day, and Mabel frequently, and&mdash;and the others.
+I was serious with you just now, or nearly: had
+I been entirely so, I might have knocked the
+top of your head off, and then they would have
+blamed me at home. You see, they think you
+are more of a man than you show yourself. To
+be serious all the time is the most serious mistake
+one can make in life; and I want no worse
+example than you. When I go back to town I
+shall write the Decline and Fall of an Alleged
+Seeker after Truth, who missed it by taking
+things too seriously. You are too stiff and narrow
+and rigid and dogmatic: you take one point
+of view and stick to it like grim death. You
+can't get at Truth in that way."</p>
+
+<p>"I suppose you would stand on your head and
+look at it upside down, and then turn a back
+somersault and view it from between your
+legs."</p>
+
+<p>"You express it inelegantly, but you have
+caught the idea. Truth is not a half pound package
+done up in brown paper and permanently
+deposited in one corner of the pantry shelf;
+she is big and various and active. While you
+have your head fixed in the iron grip and are
+staring at the sign 'Terms Cash,' she is off to
+the other side of the room&mdash;and you don't
+make a good picture at all in that constrained
+attitude. Your mind has got to be nimble and
+unbiassed if you want to overtake her, because
+she is always changing: that is, she appears in
+new and&mdash;to you&mdash;unexpected places. I gave
+you a hint of this in May, and another last
+summer, but you seem to have forgotten it. O,
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[155]</a></span>
+I could sit here all night and explain it
+to you, if you were in the right frame of
+mind."</p>
+
+<p>"No doubt: happily I am not. What has
+this to do with your defence of buffoonery,
+and apotheosis of clowns and pantomimes?"</p>
+
+<p>"A pantomime is a very good thing in its
+way. But that is your illustration; I would
+rather say opera bouffe, which is probably the
+truest copy of Life&mdash;if we were limited to one
+kind. But we are not: I tell you, we must
+have all sorts. There is tragedy in Life, and
+comedy&mdash;that more especially; a little of the
+other goes a long way. But they are always
+mixed&mdash;not kept apart, and one alone taken in
+large and frequent doses, after your fashion.
+Shakespeare understood his business pretty
+well; though, if I had been he, I would have
+put in more of those light and graceful touches
+which hit us where we live, and make the
+whole world kin."</p>
+
+<p>"Like the Dromios, or the Carriers in Henry
+Fourth."</p>
+
+<p>"Or the Gravediggers; they are more to your
+purpose. I want you to see that Humor is the
+general solvent and reconciler, the key that
+opens most locks: a feeling for it, well developed,
+would be money in your pocket. Things
+don't go to suit you, and you think your powers
+of the air are frowning, the universe a vault,
+and the canopy a funeral pall: perhaps the
+powers are only laughing at you, and want you
+to smile with them. If you could do that, it
+would let in light on your darkness. Any
+situation, properly viewed, has its amusing
+elements: if you ignore them, you fail to understand
+the whole. What did Heine say
+about his irregular Latin nouns? That his
+knowledge of them, in many a gloomy hour,
+supplied much inward consolation and delight.
+You ought to read him more, Jim."</p>
+
+<p>"And Josh Billings, and Bill Nye. Well,
+that's enough of your wisdom for to-night.
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[156]</a></span>
+We must arrange for to-morrow. Are you up
+to another <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: scramble.?'' with a period">scramble</ins>?"</p>
+
+<p>"Not like to-day's. Let's take in some
+decent scenery along with the trout."</p>
+
+<p>"There is a wild gorge ten miles off, with a
+brook in it. We can take Hodge's mare, put up
+at a house, and work down the ravine. It's not
+so bad as the last place, nor so good for fish."
+I agreed, and we went to bed.</p>
+
+<p>You may think I am humoring Hartman too
+much, and letting him shirk the subject. But
+I have a week&mdash;more if necessary&mdash;and I don't
+want to be too hard on him. He'll thaw out
+by degrees: so long as he doesn't blame Clarice,
+it is all right. He has got my idea about the
+way to discover Truth now, and it will work
+in his brain, and soften him. I know Jim: he
+never seems to take hold at first, but he comes
+round in time. You just wait, and you will
+see whether I know what I am about.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="Scenery_Improved" id="Scenery_Improved"></a>XXVII.</h3>
+
+<h4>SCENERY IMPROVED.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The</span> next day we drove to a farmhouse which
+had annexed some rather decent fields for that
+region. On one side was tolerably level ground,
+on the other a cut between two savage mountains.
+Down this we made our way, taking
+presently the bed of a small brook: woodroad
+or footpath never can be there. For a while
+there was room to walk on dry land: soon the
+cliffs closed in upon us, <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'or'">on</ins> the right rising
+sheer, on the left sloping, but steeper than I
+would want to climb. At first the stream was
+very shallow and narrow, and the fish small
+and scarce; but think of the creatures that
+must come there to drink at night! It was the
+only watercourse for miles, Jim said. He
+pointed out the tracks of a bear or two, and
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[157]</a></span>
+he thought of a panther; but it is not here I
+should choose to hunt&mdash;your game might have
+you at a disadvantage. He tried to make me
+believe that even now some of these beasts
+might catch us; but that was simply to discourage
+me from going after them, later on:
+Jim does not like the chase. <i>My</i> jokes are in
+better taste: as he is now, I believe the bears
+could beat him in manners. Near noon we
+found a place to sit down, where we could see
+a little of the crags, and proceeded to assimilate
+our frugal lunch.</p>
+
+<p>"Hartman," said I, "I should think you
+would want to live up to your scenery, as the
+ladies do to their blue china. Look at this
+majestic cliff, whose scarred and aged front,
+frowning upon these lonesome trout since the
+creation, has never been profaned by mortal
+foot."</p>
+
+<p>"Probably not. People very seldom come
+here, and when they do, they wouldn't be fools
+enough to try to climb up. They couldn't do
+it, and it wouldn't pay if they could."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, it is grand, anyway, and it ought to
+quicken your soul to grand thoughts. In such
+a scene you ought to feel stirring within you
+noble sympathies and resolves."</p>
+
+<p>"I can't see much grandeur in human nature,
+Bob, nor any in myself. If you had thought
+yourself a gentleman, and suddenly awaked to
+the fact that you were a cad and a scoundrel,
+you would be apt to change your tune, and
+drop the high notes."</p>
+
+<p>Oho, I thought, he is coming to the point.
+While I was meditating how to utilize this
+confidence, a small piece of rock fell from above
+upon the edge of my toes: if it had been a
+large piece, and fallen on my head, you would
+have missed this moral tale. When I had expressed
+my sentiments, he said, "I can't insure
+you against accidents,&mdash;any more than
+you did me. If I had brought you here in
+spring, you might growl. The rocks are loose
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[158]</a></span>
+then, and it is dangerous. A man was killed
+once just below here, and his body never found
+till the year after." This trivial <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'occurence'">occurrence</ins>
+seemed to turn his thoughts away from the
+important topic, and I could not get him back
+to it.</p>
+
+<p>It was a warm day for the season: once in a
+while it will be hotter in these sylvan solitudes
+than it is in New York. While we were in
+the brook we did not mind that, for we could
+drop every five minutes and drink. I suppose I
+consumed some nine gallons of <i>aqua pura</i>
+during the morning: you can do this with impunity,
+because there is no ice in it, and the
+bacteria are of the most wholesome kind. But
+by and by we finished with the gorge: then we
+had to go across a sort of common, up hill.
+There was no water now, and it was hot. After
+more trees, and a steeper ascent, Jim said,
+"You'll get a view now." We came out on an
+open place, with steep rocks beneath. Before
+us lay a wilderness, with clearings here and
+there, and a background of mountains. The
+forests were in their early November bloom;
+the country looked one great flower. In the
+Alps or the Rockies they can give this odds,
+and beat it easily, but it was pretty well for
+eastern America&mdash;and an occasion to be improved.
+"Jim, if the crags don't appeal to
+you, this might. If you don't feel up to moral
+grandeur, why not go in for peace? Let your
+perturbed spirit catch the note of harmony
+from this landscape, and drink in purity from
+this air."</p>
+
+<p>"That is all very fine, and you would make
+a pretty fair exhorter&mdash;with practice. But
+natural theology is not in my line. These hills
+look nicely now, but it will be different within
+a month. If I am to learn peace from a fine
+day, what from a stormy one? Nature changes
+for the worse like us, and with less shame: she
+has no regrets for the past, no care to keep up
+appearances or make a show of consistency."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[159]</a></span>
+"I fear you have been learning of Nature on
+her wrong side then. Half confidences are in
+bad taste, Jim. What is it you keep hinting
+at? It ought to be murder, from the airs you
+put on about it."</p>
+
+<p>"Leave that for to-night, when we have
+nothing better to attend to. There is another
+brook here we ought to try."</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="Diplomacy" id="Diplomacy"></a>XXVIII.</h3>
+
+<h4>DIPLOMACY.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">We</span> got back reasonably early, much less tired
+than the day before. Now, I thought, for
+some progress. "Well, Jim, you wanted to
+unfold your tale to-night."</p>
+
+<p>"That is, you wanted to ask me about it.
+You can't do any good, and I don't find speech
+a safety-valve: but I suppose it is my duty to
+supply you with amusement. So get on, and
+say what is on your mind."</p>
+
+<p>He takes this tone to conceal his morbid
+yearning to ease his bosom of its perilous stuff:
+I will have his coil unwound pretty soon. If
+I were not here, he would probably be whispering
+her name under the solemn stars, and
+shouting it in tragic tones on the lonely mountain-top;
+sighing it under the waterfalls, and
+expecting the trout to echo it. He talks about
+fishing the home brook the first rainy day, but
+he must have scared all the fish away from
+there with his sentiment. I must remember
+to notice whether 'C. E.' is carved about the
+forest. He will pretend to hold back; but I
+will get it out of him.&mdash;I made this pause long
+enough to let him prepare for the examination
+on which depends his admission into the civil
+service, so to speak&mdash;he will have to be more
+civil and serviceable than hitherto if he is to
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[160]</a></span>
+pass it, and follow me back to town&mdash;and indeed
+his whole future.</p>
+
+<p>"You say you have lost something valuable.
+All you had, you said it was; but that is nonsense.
+You have health, and more money than
+you want, and brains and education, of which
+you are making very poor use, and friends,
+whom you are treating badly. I can't think
+what you have lost&mdash;unless it was your heart,
+perhaps." This I brought in in the way of
+afterthought, as if it had suddenly occurred to
+me. He started, but assumed a tone of cynical
+indifference.</p>
+
+<p>"My heart? Would I sit down and howl over
+that? What use have I for a heart, any more
+than for a poodle? And if I had one, what
+does it matter what may have become of it?"</p>
+
+<p>"Strayed or stolen, probably. Such things
+have happened, especially when persons of the
+opposite sex are about. They are apt to attach
+themselves to poodles, and vice versa. But if
+you give me your honor that a loss of heart is
+not the cause of these lamentations&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Why will you press that point, Bob? What
+is done can't be undone, and what is broken
+can't be mended."</p>
+
+<p>"And what is crooked can't be made straight,
+and what is wanting can't be supplied; though
+these things are done every day and every hour.
+Why any able-bodied lady of my acquaintance,
+even those at my own house, limited as is their
+experience of the world's devious ways&mdash;Jane,
+I mean, or Mabel&mdash;could tell you how."</p>
+
+<p>"Robert, I am too old for these follies."</p>
+
+<p>"James, you are the youngest man I ever
+knew. Any boy of eighteen would be apt to
+know better how to manage such matters, and&mdash;if
+you will pardon the frankness you employ
+yourself&mdash;to exhibit more sense."</p>
+
+<p>He stared a little, and I gave him time to
+recover. Then he took up his parable, defensively
+falling back on the abstract, after his
+manner.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[161]</a></span>
+"Of course I have thought of these things,
+Bob, and the philosophy of them, if they can
+be said to have any. They seem much like
+everything else. Taking Life in its unfinancial
+aspects, men do things, not because the particular
+things are worth doing, but as an
+apology for the unwarranted liberty they take
+in being alive. 'I am: why am I?' said the
+youth at prayer-meeting, and everybody gave
+it up. As an effort toward answering his own
+conundrum, he entered the ministry. Being
+alive, we have to make a pretense of doing
+something, which else might better remain
+undone. That is why books are written, and
+controversies waged; it explains most of our
+intellectual and moral activities. So with
+society: time must be killed, and we go out
+for an evening, though we are dreadfully bored
+and gain nothing at all. So, I suppose, with
+what is called love. The emotional part of our
+nature, which is the absurdest part of all,
+finds or fancies itself unemployed: a void craves
+and aches in the breast, and the man, as an old
+farmer once expressed it, is 'kinder lovesick
+for suthin he ain't got and dunno what.'
+Almost any material of the other sex, if you
+allow a little for taste and temperament, will
+fill the void&mdash;in a way, and for a time at least.
+Darby marries Joan and is content, though any
+other woman would have served his turn as well.
+With us of the finer feelings and higher
+standards, the only difference is that we rant
+more and sophisticate more, as belongs to our
+wider range. No one ever felt thus before&mdash;because
+the feeling is new to us, and newer
+each time it comes: so Festus protests to each
+successive mistress, perjuring himself in all
+sincerity. Nor was any mistress ever so beautiful
+and divine as this one, appointed to possess
+and be adored by us. All that is purely a
+mental exercise: carry the illusion a little farther,
+and it might be practised as well on a milliner's
+lay-figure. 'He that loves a coral cheek or a
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[162]</a></span>
+ruby lip admires' is simply a red hot donkey, Bob.
+Nature provides the imbecile desire, Propinquity
+furnishes an object at random. Imagination
+does all the rest."</p>
+
+<p>"Just so, Jim. I am glad to find you again
+capable of such lucid and exhaustive analysis.
+But how about what is called <i>falling</i> in love,
+when the wild ass has not been craving to have
+his void filled up at all, but is suddenly brought
+down unawares by an Amazonian arrow?"</p>
+
+<p>"He was no less a donkey that he didn't
+know it, and it only comes harder for him.
+The fool ought to have been better acquainted
+with his own interior condition; then he might
+have eased his descent to his royal thistle, secured
+his repast or gone without it, and got
+back to his stable with a whole skin. Otherwise
+it is just the same. The heart is an idiot baby,
+Robert: it feeds on pap and thinks it is guzzling
+nectar on Olympus."</p>
+
+<p>"Exactly, James; exactly. As you say, it is
+our fertile fancy that does it all. You and I
+can conjure up women far more charming than
+we ever met on brick or carpet. If we only
+had the raw material and knew how to work it
+up, we could beat these flesh and blood girls
+off the field before breakfast. Their merits
+and attractions are mainly such as we generously
+invest them with; and often they take a mean
+advantage of our kindness."</p>
+
+<p>I glanced at him sideways, and he flushed
+and winced. "I would not derogate from
+women, nor rate myself so high. I meant only
+that we imagine&mdash;well, monstrous heaps of
+nonsense. For instance, we often fancy that
+they care for us when they don't&mdash;and whose
+fault is that but ours? There's a deal of rot
+talked about lords of creation&mdash;when a man
+isn't able to be lord of himself. O, women are
+very well in their way: I've nothing against
+them. They are just as good as we&mdash;better,
+very likely; and wiser, for they don't idealize
+us as we do them."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[163]</a></span>
+"Yes, but this idealizing faculty is a very
+useful one to have. I see you must have found
+a Blowsalinda on some of these hill farms:&mdash;why,
+man, you're as red as her father's beets.
+I congratulate you, Jim: I do, heartily. As you
+say, the tender passion is merely a spark struck
+by the flint of Opportunity on the steel of
+Desire; and for the rest, you can enrich her
+practical native virtues with the golden hues of
+your imagination. She'll suit you just as well
+as any of these proud cityfied damsels&mdash;after
+you've sent her a term or two to boarding
+school; and she'll be more content to stay up
+here than the city girl would."</p>
+
+<p>I paused to view my work, and was satisfied.
+The shadows of wrath and disgust were chasing
+each other over my friend's intelligent countenance.
+You see, I get so browbeaten at home
+that I must avenge myself on somebody now
+and then; and of course, it has to be a man.
+And then it is all for Jim's good, and he deserves
+all he is getting. So I went on.</p>
+
+<p>"But seeing this is so, Jim, you ought to be
+content; and what means all your wild talk of
+last night and this morning, as if you had
+something on your conscience? You haven't&mdash;you
+wouldn't&mdash;No, you're not that kind of
+a man. Well then, what in thunder have you
+been making all this fuss about, and pitching
+into me for?"</p>
+
+<p>He suppressed something with a gulp: I
+think it was not an expression of gratitude or
+affection. "Confound you, Bob; one never
+knows how to take you. In the name of
+Satan and all the devils, what are you after
+now?"</p>
+
+<p>"I'm not after anything in the name of the
+gentlemen you mention; they are no friends of
+mine, nor objects of my regard. Put a better
+name on it, and I'm after getting you to say
+what you mean, as we agreed&mdash;though it seems
+to be hard work. Who's playing tricks upon
+travellers, and misleading a confiding friend
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[164]</a></span>
+now? I never knew such a man for beating
+about the bush, and talking nonsense." (I
+remembered this apothegm of Jane's, which
+sounded well, and fitted in nicely just
+here.)</p>
+
+<p>He appeared to take himself to pieces, shake
+them well, and put them together carefully,
+before he spoke. "Perhaps my language was
+obscure, or even enigmatical; but I thought
+you might understand. Forgive me if I have
+been harsh, Bob, not to say uncivil: I have
+gone through a good deal, until I hardly know
+myself. It is base enough for a man to be thus
+at the mercy of mere externals&mdash;and I used to
+think I could practice the Stoic doctrine! But
+to be human is to be a pitiable, and, if you like,
+a despicable creature. I knew a case that may
+serve in a way to explain&mdash;not to justify&mdash;my
+treatment of you. Say it was years ago; the
+man met, in a friend's house, a lady who
+showed him the utmost kindness. She was
+used to all deference, till she and every one regarded
+it as her right&mdash;as it was. And he&mdash;it's
+not pleasant to tell&mdash;he ended by insulting her.
+I always understood how that fellow never could
+bear to mention her name, nor to hear it; how
+any reminder of her, or contact with the friends
+through whom <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'he met he met'">he met</ins> her, would upset
+him. He would get confused, and some of his
+self-reproaches would fall on the wrong heads.
+I suppose you never knew how that could be,
+Bob."</p>
+
+<p>"I never was in exactly such a scrape as that;
+but I've been near enough to imagine, and
+make allowances. Your friend must have
+thought a good deal of the lady, in spite
+of his insulting her. He apologized, of
+course?"</p>
+
+<p>"Certainly, and then took himself off, and
+kept out of her way ever after. It was all he
+could do."</p>
+
+<p>"Just how did he insult her? It could
+hardly have been intentional."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[165]</a></span>
+"O no. He had had misfortunes, or <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'some thing'">something</ins>
+of the kind, and she took a humane interest
+in him&mdash;tried to help him, no doubt.
+Women often do such things, I believe; it is
+very creditable to them, but liable to be
+dangerous in a case like this, for men are sometimes
+fools enough to misinterpret it. Well,
+this particular beast took it into his wooden
+head that she cared for him&mdash;in a personal
+way, you know; and&mdash;you wouldn't think a
+man could be such an infernal ape, would you?&mdash;he
+told her so."</p>
+
+<p>"He planned beforehand to tell her so&mdash;thought
+that was the right card to play, the
+proper way of wooing?"</p>
+
+<p>"You make him worse than he was. It came
+out unawares&mdash;he was surprised into it. The
+conversation took a certain turn, and he misunderstood
+for a moment. That was all, and
+it was quite enough."</p>
+
+<p>"What did the lady do then?"</p>
+
+<p>"She was naturally and properly indignant
+and contemptuous; made him see his place.
+He took it, and took his departure."</p>
+
+<p>"Did it never enter your friend's wise head
+that he might have mismanaged the affair in
+some other way than the one you mention; for
+instance, in going off so speedily?"</p>
+
+<p>"No other course was possible. Enough of
+this, Bob: he bore the penalty of his offence."</p>
+
+<p>"Excuse me: it's a curious case, and as a
+student of human nature I like to study such,
+and master all the facts. You say it never
+occurred to him that the worst part of his
+offence might be his levanting in such haste?
+that it might have been a more appropriate
+act of penitence to wait a day, or five minutes,
+and give the lady a chance to forgive
+him?"</p>
+
+<p>"How can you make such low suggestions?
+The man was not a scoundrel at heart: at least
+he had always passed for a gentleman before,
+and thought himself such."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[166]</a></span>
+"For one who goes about insulting ladies, he
+was a singularly modest youth. So he never
+thought afterwards that there might have been
+a basis of fact for the fancy that made the
+trouble?"</p>
+
+<p>"Drop the subject, will you? I brought it
+in merely as an illustration, that you might
+see how a man can be affected&mdash;even his character
+changed&mdash;by the recollection of such a
+blunder. It would destroy his self-respect."</p>
+
+<p>"Naturally. But self-respect is too good a
+thing to lose forever, and this illustration of
+yours may serve to pass the time till you are
+ready to talk of your own affairs, which you
+say it somehow illustrates. Did your friend
+never think that the girl might have led him
+on, either seriously or for mere amusement?
+If she did, that would be some excuse for
+him."</p>
+
+<p>"I tell you he was not that kind of a blackguard.
+All sorts of thoughts will offer themselves
+to a man in such a state of mind, I suppose;
+but he knew her too well to admit any
+that lowered her. O no, he saw the fault was
+all his. At the moment he was bewildered,
+and could not realize the sudden change, nor
+what he had done; so his apology (if I remember
+that part of his story) may have been inadequate
+in manner, however suitable in words.
+Apart from that, which could not be mended
+afterwards, he did all he possibly could."</p>
+
+<p>"I beg to differ, Jim. I think this fellow
+did much worse than you seem to realize.
+Stare as much as you like: if he is still a
+friend of yours, I am sorry for him, as for one
+who has committed a most outrageous blunder
+and a nearly unpardonable wrong. What right
+had he to think of himself alone? You say
+the girl had shown goodness of heart, and a
+real interest in him? Then suppose the interest
+went no further than he thought: what business
+had he to burden her mind with a broken
+friendship and the feeling that she had helped
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[167]</a></span>
+to spoil his life? Or suppose the interest in
+him did go further. What do you and he
+know about a woman's feelings?"</p>
+
+<p>He was pale now, and wild in the eyes.
+"Your last supposition is impossible. For the
+other&mdash;you may possibly be right. He never
+thought she would care&mdash;or that he could
+do anything but what he did."</p>
+
+<p>"A nice lot he is then. If I were you, I
+would write to him to-morrow and give him a
+lecture&mdash;supposing they are both alive and free.
+And if this affair was anyway parallel to your
+own, of which you won't talk, I hope it may
+be a lesson to you&mdash;a warning, if you need
+one. Do you suppose women, of the high-minded
+and superior sort, have no hearts, no
+consciences, no sense of the duties of humanity?
+They have a blanked sight more than you and
+your friend seem to have, I can tell you.
+You'd better sleep on this, and wake with
+some enlarged ideas. As you decline to tell
+me anything of yourself, and so I can't help
+you there, I'm going to bed."</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[168]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><a name="Submission" id="Submission"></a>XXIX.</h3>
+
+<h4>SUBMISSION.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Next</span> day Jim was haggard and restless, and
+wanted to potter about the house. I took him
+to the largest stream in those parts, when our
+rods came in play; and there he did some of
+the worst fishing I ever saw&mdash;worse than I did
+in May, when I had him on my mind. He
+has himself on his mind now, and some one else
+too. He kept trying to talk, which is impossible
+when you are wading. After he had lost a
+two-pounder and fallen into a deep hole, I got
+out on the bank to avoid a place where the
+water went down hill too fast&mdash;something between
+rapids and a cascade. He came and sat
+on a log by me, looking disconsolate.</p>
+
+<p>"Jim," I said, "You're pretty wet. Perhaps
+you'd better go home and write that letter."</p>
+
+<p>"I don't see my way yet. How can you be
+so positive?"</p>
+
+<p>"Because I've heard the story before, and
+know more about it than you do. I had a
+friend who was there at the time too. O, it
+caused some talk, I can tell you. Did your
+hero suppose it would interest nobody but himself?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, as I told you. Good heavens! You
+don't mean&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"O, no public talk; only the family, and
+people who knew the facts and could be trusted.
+They were all sorry for him too; they thought
+he was such an ass. You see a performance
+like his can't end where it begins; it has consequences."</p>
+
+<p>"You say, 'for him too.' They couldn't be
+sorry for the lady&mdash;why should they?"</p>
+
+<p>"You are pigheaded, Jim. What did I tell
+you last night? This thing put its mark on
+her, in a way no man has a right to mark a
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[169]</a></span>
+woman without her consent. See that trout
+jump, in the pool down yonder? I must get
+him."</p>
+
+<p>"Wait a moment. What I told you about
+could not have been known unless the lady told
+it; and she was not of that sort. I don't understand."</p>
+
+<p>"Decidedly you don't. I can't waste a day
+like this on second-hand gossip, Jim; as you
+said yesterday, the evening is the time for talk.
+You go home and change your clothes and rest
+your brain. I know my way here, and I want
+to fill my basket. I'll get back in time for
+supper. Here, you can take these."</p>
+
+<p>And so I sent him off. He is biddable and
+humble now, and will be more so presently; in
+a kind of transition state, he is. He came
+back in the afternoon, and sat on the bank
+while I pulled out the biggest fish yet. I
+carried home the best basket we've had; not so
+many specimens, but far finer ones, than from
+that Devil's Brook in the Land Accursed.
+In fishing, as in other things, a good deal depends
+on your state of mind.</p>
+
+<p>That evening I dressed for dinner, as far as I
+could, like a gentleman; not that any visitors
+were likely to drop in, but I thought it due to
+the occasion. Jim, having plenty of leisure
+at command, and noting my man&oelig;uvres, did
+the same. He ate little, but I paid due attention
+to the trout and claret, and took my time
+to it; though we do not have a lot of courses
+and ceremony at meals up here, nor are such
+necessary. Then we settled ourselves in easy
+chairs before the great fireplace, where pine
+logs were roaring: the nights are cold now, and
+this is one comfort of these out-of-the-way
+places, where fuel is plenty.</p>
+
+<p>As soon as he had a chance, he began.
+"There is some mystery about this, Bob. You
+wouldn't answer my question this morning."</p>
+
+<p>"Now that I have dined, James, I'll answer
+any questions you like&mdash;provided they are such
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[170]</a></span>
+as may fitly be put to the father of a family.
+So fire away."</p>
+
+<p>"First then, how do you come to know so
+much about this?"</p>
+
+<p>"Because I was there. O, not eavesdropping,
+not as a spy&mdash;that is out of my line; but purely,
+and luckily as it proves, by accident." And
+I told him all about it. I will not say that his
+jaw dropped, but his facial apparatus elongated.</p>
+
+<p>"Then Cl&mdash;she knows that you know?"</p>
+
+<p>"Not a word. What do you take me for?
+How could I tell her?"</p>
+
+<p>"But&mdash;the others know?"</p>
+
+<p>"Certainly not. You have the most extraordinary
+notions, Hartman. It was her secret,
+not theirs. If you had been in my place, perhaps
+you would have written to the papers, or
+told the story at family prayers. Can't you see
+that it was impossible for me to let her know
+till I had had it out with you?"</p>
+
+<p>"And you have stood by me, knowing all
+this&mdash;you are still my friend?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, if I had had merely myself to consider,
+my natural loathing and contempt for the
+beast, ape, idiot and scoundrel who was capable
+of such conduct might have led me to extremities.
+O, I endorse all the compliments you
+have paid yourself. But there is my interesting
+family; the twins have quite a regard for
+you, and Herbert. And so has my wife; she
+doesn't know you as well as I do. And my
+sister&mdash;a superior person, though too soft-hearted,
+whom I cherish with a deep fraternal
+affection&mdash;she has been besieging me with intercessions,
+and melting my obduracy with her
+tears; and that for one who has made all this
+coil, and whose qualities have been too well
+enumerated by himself."</p>
+
+<p>"I will try to be more deserving of her kindness,
+Bob: I told you she was the right sort.
+But you said just now they did not know."</p>
+
+<p>"Only by surmise, and inference from your
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[171]</a></span>
+hasty departure, and from&mdash;subsequent developments.
+Women are not wholly fools, Jim:
+they are just as good as we; perhaps better,
+and sometimes wiser. O, they are very well in
+their way. Let us bear with them, James, and
+allow for their redeeming traits."</p>
+
+<p>"Don't hit a man with his own words when
+he is down, Bob. But&mdash;there is Another, whom
+you've not mentioned."</p>
+
+<p>"So there is: you didn't mention her, either.
+Come to think of it, there is another member
+of my household, whom we have overlooked in
+this discussion, yet to whom I owe some sort of
+consideration."</p>
+
+<p>"Of course I know who is first with you: I
+am content to come in a bad second. You
+haven't&mdash;I suppose&mdash;any word&mdash;from Her?"</p>
+
+<p>"What do you take her for? Ladies can't
+do that sort of thing. See here, Hartman,
+don't get on that line again. She is used to
+due respect."</p>
+
+<p>His face fell. "I know: I mean nothing
+else. What have you to say to me then?"</p>
+
+<p>"Say? Haven't I said enough? Confound
+you, it's your turn to say things now."</p>
+
+<p>"I thought I had said a good deal. O, I am
+ready to make my submission, if it will do any
+good. Imagine the rest, can't you? Don't be
+playing your games on me now, Bob."</p>
+
+<p>There was a tone of pathos in this: I took a
+good look at him, and saw that he was doing
+the contrite as well as I could expect. He will
+do it better without a middleman when he gets
+the chance; he'll hardly lapse into the other
+style again soon. All I have to do is to secure
+her position meanwhile.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, what comes next? I believe I am on
+the witness-stand now."</p>
+
+<p>"Tell me about Her, Bob."</p>
+
+<p>"She is changed. Of old, one never knew
+what to expect of her. Now she is different.
+No stale customs about her, my boy."</p>
+
+<p>"'Nor custom stale her infinite variety,' I
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[172]</a></span>
+suppose you mean. Yes, so I found&mdash;but that
+was my own fault. Some might prefer your
+version. But you don't imply&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"No, I don't. You must find out for yourself
+about that. I thought you knew that she
+is chary of her confidences, and that none of us
+is given to seeking them. She has mentioned
+your name once in all this time, and then to
+say that you and I were great clumsy things&mdash;which
+is true; measurably of me, of you most
+eminently."</p>
+
+<p>"What chance is there for me then?" He
+was discouraged again. Jim is so foolish; he
+gets exalted and depressed on the slightest
+provocation. Perhaps I was like that once,
+but it was long ago.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, she knows I am here; do you suppose
+I would have come if she objected? Make
+what you can out of that.&mdash;You needn't make
+too much of it either: go slow, now. You see
+she doesn't like to be thwarted in her benevolent
+plans; and you were a wild man, to be
+reclaimed and civilized. Instead of submitting
+like a decent savage, you broke loose all at
+once, and left her to feel that she had done
+you harm instead of good. You are the only
+fellow who ever gave her any trouble: I can't
+see how you had the cheek to do it. Why,
+man, you have got to learn manners if you
+want to associate with that kind. She could
+do better than you any day; but a wilful
+woman must have her way, and a gentleman
+usually lets her have it.&mdash;Now there you go
+again. I didn't say what her way might be in
+this case, did I? How should I know what she
+wants of you? Probably just to smooth you
+down, and be friends, and see you behave. The
+other supposition, as you said last night, is too
+wildly impossible. You ought to be glad to
+meet her on any terms she may choose to make,
+and thankful and proud to undergo any penance
+of her imposing, after your conduct, and
+the annoyance it has caused her and all of us.
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[173]</a></span>
+Most women, in her place, would let you stay
+in the woods and eat your heart out. Perhaps
+she will yet; you needn't look so pleased. All
+I know is that you owe her reparation. You
+ought to go on your knees from here to the
+avenue, even if you have to come back on foot."</p>
+
+<p>"You have gained in insight since August,
+Bob. You express my views with accuracy&mdash;though
+one can hardly talk of these matters to
+another man. I always honored you for holding
+Her in such esteem. But practically, what
+am I to do?"</p>
+
+<p>"That is not easy to say, James: it can
+hardly be plain sailing. If women were not
+more forgiving than we, bless their little hearts,
+you would have no chance to do anything.
+And the finer grain they are of, the more embarrassing
+it becomes; with her sort it is
+peculiarly difficult. I know, from long and
+trying experience; I have to mind my p's and
+q's, I tell you. If you had taken up with one
+of these farmers' daughters, as you nearly led
+me to believe last night&mdash;there's nothing to
+get mad about&mdash;it would have been much
+simpler and easier for you. If it were that
+other man, I should say to him, Write to the
+lady, if you think that safe: I don't advise it.
+But if you had a friend who knew her well,
+and was a person of capacity and resource and
+great tact and approved discretion, and willing
+to employ all these qualities in your service&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"O, I'll leave the affair in your hands: I
+don't see what else I can do. I'm everlastingly
+obliged to you, of course."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, I should think you would be; a nice
+mess you'd make of it by yourself. You have
+no idea how this thing has weighed on my mind
+ever since you left us at Newport; nor how
+awkward it is, even for me, to approach a girl
+of her sensitive pride and highminded delicacy
+on such a subject. But I'm ready to go on
+suffering in your cause, James, even if it be for
+years."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[174]</a></span>
+"I hope it won't take as long as that. Hurry
+it up, old man, now you've got a start. Don't
+let the injury to Her and the weight on my
+conscience go on accumulating. What you do,
+do quickly."</p>
+
+<p>"So you'd like me to rush off <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'to-morow'">to-morrow</ins>?
+There's gratitude. No, sir; I must think the
+matter over, and I may have to consult you
+about details. Besides, they are all exercised
+about my health, and expect me to make my
+week out. Your case is not a strong one,
+James; all depends on the way it is put. I
+will not ruin it by indecent pressure or undue
+haste. Leave it to me, and let sweet sleep revisit
+the weary head whence she has fled so
+long. In simpler language, keep still and do as
+I tell you, and don't bother."</p>
+
+<p>I took pen and ink to my room, and indited
+a home epistle. It informed Mabel that I was
+progressing toward recovery, and expected to
+ship some large trout, carefully packed in ice;
+also that she was a true prophet, and the other
+business in hand was moving just as she had
+foretold. I enclosed a brief note to Clarice,
+which said simply, "O. K. Ever thine," and
+signed it with my initials and Jim's: and a
+cartoon for Jane, which I sat up late to design
+and execute. It represented a small lover,
+transfixed with a large arrow, prostrating himself
+before a Haughty Damsel of High Degree.
+This work of art, with the subjoined effusions,
+will keep up their spirits till I get home.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[175]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><a name="Wasted_Advice" id="Wasted_Advice"></a>XXX.</h3>
+
+<h4>WASTED ADVICE.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">I will</span> not tell you what more we did that
+week, nor how many wagonloads of big game
+we bagged when we sallied forth with guns to
+make war upon the monarchs of the forest:
+perhaps their hides and horns are on view in
+my library, and perhaps not. Nor will you
+expect any more scenery of me, seeing how I
+have groaned and sweated to produce the pen-pictures
+you have already enjoyed: I don't
+desire to advertise Jim's retreat too much, and
+spoil its seclusion. He was impatient and
+restive, but feeling much better than when I
+came, and ready to do anything I wished&mdash;of
+course. But he wanted to talk all the time,
+and ask questions: he kept me busy pacifying
+him, till I was tired. Rational conversation
+on serious subjects is good, but to be thus
+forever harping on small personal feelings and
+relations makes one realize that Silence is
+Golden. Clarice never acts in that way: I wish
+Jim would have some occasional flashes of
+taciturnity, like Macaulay.</p>
+
+<p>The day before I left, while we were burying
+a calf I had shot by mistake, he said, "Bob, do
+you remember my asking you once, in a purely
+suppositious way, what you would do if I were
+to quarrel with&mdash;Her?"</p>
+
+<p>"O yes. But the farmer that owned this
+late lamented beast ought to be paid for it."</p>
+
+<p>"Never mind that. I'll attend to it after
+you're gone, and save your feelings. Well, you
+said you'd stand by both of us."</p>
+
+<p>"Hang my feelings: do you suppose I expend
+feelings on a misguided heifer? It got in the
+bushes where you said I might look for a deer,
+and here's a ten on account; you can write me
+if it costs more. My sympathies, James, are
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[176]</a></span>
+reserved for nobler animals when they make
+worse mistakes."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, as I have proved. You've kept your
+word; but you were pretty rough on me."</p>
+
+<p>"Your conduct was pretty rough on all of
+us. I had to open your eyes; and I don't want
+you to try those tricks again. If you do, I
+may have to shoot you by mistake."</p>
+
+<p>"You would have been welcome to shoot me
+last week. Why did you leave me so long in
+the dark, Bob?"</p>
+
+<p>"O, the deuce! Were explanations due from
+our side? It's true you need somebody to take
+care of you; but, you see, I have others to look
+after, and so can't devote myself exclusively to
+you: you'd better get a keeper. It was Jane
+who urged my coming up here. I always meant
+to, but I couldn't till Clarice suggested it."</p>
+
+<p>"She suggested it, did she? You never told
+me that before."</p>
+
+<p>"I ought not to have told you now, if it makes
+you fly off the handle in this way. She merely
+said to Mabel, no doubt in all sincerity, that I
+looked badly and needed a change; she said
+nothing about my coming here. She has a
+regard for me; whether you are anybody in her
+eyes remains to be seen. Don't jump to conclusions,
+now. The Princess is not a person
+to take liberties with, as I've learned by repeated
+lessons."</p>
+
+<p>"I know it, Bob: one lesson is enough for
+me. I suppose it would hardly do for me to go
+back with you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Hardly. Personally I should be delighted,
+and so would some others; but&mdash;you know as
+well as I do. I have got to feel somebody's
+pulse, and proceed very gingerly. Possess your
+soul in what patience you can till you hear
+from me. See here, Hartman; with your
+views, and your well-grounded aversion to domestic
+and even social life, a little of this sort
+of thing ought to go a long way. I should
+think you'd be unwilling to risk contact with
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[177]</a></span>
+the world again. A child that will play about the
+cars, you know, after it's once been run over&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"O, but you have opened my eyes to a
+sacred duty. Honor is above self-preservation.
+I want to purge my conscience, you see."</p>
+
+<p>"Then do that and pause there. It was your
+vaulting ambition which overleaped all bounds
+before. If you get into another row, you may
+have to stay in it. I have full power of attorney,
+you say; well, I may have to make all
+sorts of promises for you before I can get you
+leave to return to duty, and you'll be expected
+to keep them. You don't know how difficult
+that will be for your unbridled inexperience;
+you'll be cabined, cribbed, confined within
+the dull limits of Propriety. It would be much
+better for you to be content with a correspondence,
+if you can get as far as that. You could
+expound your penitence and changed views by
+mail, and have time to think what you were
+saying, and get it in shape; whereas, if you
+plunge into the cold and heartless world again,
+you'll probably get into more trouble, and I
+can't come up here to set you straight again&mdash;not
+before next May. You were right, James:
+there is nothing in common between you and
+the world. Why expose yourself to its temptations,
+its dangers, its hollow and soul-wearying
+forms? This atmosphere is so much purer;
+there is less of Vanity and Woe up here. Stay
+where you are well off. Clarice can write a
+pretty good letter when she chooses; I'll try to
+fix it that way for you." But he would not
+accept this reasonable view, and insisted on my
+getting permission for him to come down before
+Christmas, and as much sooner as possible.</p>
+
+<p>So nobody but he could drive me to the cars;
+he filled the fifteen miles with charges and
+reminders. As the train moved off, he was
+waving his hat, his face radiant with hope and
+pathetic with confidence. He looks ten years
+younger than he did last week. A pretty fellow
+he is to call himself a Pessimist.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[178]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><a name="Results_Reported" id="Results_Reported"></a>XXXI.</h3>
+
+<h4>RESULTS REPORTED.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">I reached</span> home in the early evening. The
+servant told me at the door that Mrs. T. was
+in attendance on Master Herbert, who had
+fallen over the banisters and injured his nasal
+organ. I rushed upstairs: Mabel met me with
+no demonstrations of grief or anxiety. "I see
+by your face that it is all right&mdash;as I always
+said it would be. Go to Clarice; she is in the
+library. O, Herbert? He fell on his nose, of
+course; he always does. It is not at all serious.
+The dear child has been feeling better since we
+heard from you, and taking more exercise.
+Clarice has the first right to your news."</p>
+
+<p>I found her, and dropped on my knees.
+She looked at me, not so sweetly as of late.
+"Get up, Robert, I thought I had cured you of
+your bad habit of untimely jesting."</p>
+
+<p>"You have. I realize the solemnity of the
+occasion, if you do not. My name is James&mdash;no,
+that's not it. I am a representative, an envoy.
+You see before you a banished man who
+has justly incurred his sovereign's displeasure,
+and has repented day and night. This posture,
+perhaps unseemly in the father of a family,
+expresses the other fellow's state of mind. He's
+afraid to come himself, and so he sent me."</p>
+
+<p>She looked at me again, and saw that I was
+serious. You see, these delicate matters have
+to be managed delicately. I can't do the unmitigated
+tragedy business as well as Hartman
+might, and yet I had to meet the requirements
+of the situation, and the Princess' expectations,
+which are always high. People who have their
+own affairs of this kind to conduct might
+sometimes avoid painful failures by taking a
+leaf out of my book, and mixing the difficult
+passages with a little&mdash;a very little&mdash;chastened
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[179]</a></span>
+and judicious humor; then they would avoid
+overdoing it, and sending the lady off disgusted.</p>
+
+<p>"Does he take all the blame?"</p>
+
+<p>"Absolutely: he did from the first moment.
+He can't come here to say so till he's allowed,
+and he can't get up till you give him a token
+of forgiveness."</p>
+
+<p>She gave it: it was inexpensive to her, and
+soothing to the penitent&mdash;or would have been
+if he had been there to get it in person. I
+took it simply on his account.</p>
+
+<p>"Keep still now, and let me think."</p>
+
+<p>I kept still. The attitude of prayer, while
+well suited to the lighter forms of ladies, is
+inconvenient to a man of my size, and deeply
+distressing when I am obliged to maintain it
+for more than five minutes; for that reason I
+don't go to church as much as I might. But I
+had to keep quiet while she did her thinking.
+May it be recorded to my credit! I would bear
+a good deal for Clarice, and sometimes I have
+to.</p>
+
+<p>At last she finished her cogitations. "O,
+get up, Robert; I forgot. What else have you
+to tell me? But don't you want some supper?"</p>
+
+<p>I was as hungry as a bison, but that was a
+secondary consideration.</p>
+
+<p>"The supper can wait while I have your
+work to do. I'll tell you anything you care to
+know: he wants to have no secrets from you.
+But it has all been graphically summed up
+already. A famous orator of old told a young
+fellow who went to him to learn how to speak
+a piece, 'Act it.' That's what I've been
+doing the last half hour: I didn't think it
+would take so long."</p>
+
+<p>I rubbed my knees, which were still sore:
+the library carpet is reasonably thick, but it
+was not built for devotional uses, "I suppose
+Hartman would be glad to stay down there all
+night if he had the chance. But he'd be awkward
+about it&mdash;infernally awkward. You see,
+he has had no practice in this kind of thing;
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[180]</a></span>
+he doesn't know your ways as I do. I wonder
+if you will ever get him into as good training
+as you have me."</p>
+
+<p>I put in this light badinage to relieve any
+embarrassment she might feel&mdash;not that she
+could show any such if she tried, but for what
+you and I know even she might feel it&mdash;and to
+let her get used to the situation. But she did
+not seem to care for it. "That's enough for
+now, Robert. Go and get your supper." She
+said this in a weary tone. My heart sank.</p>
+
+<p>"Princess dear, have I offended you? I
+meant it all right. Have I done anything
+wrong, and made a mess of this as usual?"</p>
+
+<p>She gave me her hand. "O no, Bob. But
+go now. I'll talk more to you to-morrow."</p>
+
+<p>Now I thought I had done this up in the
+most superior style, and that she would be
+pleased for once. But the ways of women are
+past man's understanding.</p>
+
+<p>Jane awaited me in the dining-room with
+viands and an anxious brow, and would scarcely
+let me appease the cravings of exhausted nature.
+She sent the servant out, and ministered
+to my wants herself.</p>
+
+<p>"Brother, you look downcast. Have you
+returned with empty hands?"</p>
+
+<p>"I have brought some of the finest trout you
+ever saw&mdash;not in mere size perhaps, but in flavor,
+colors, and gaminess. You didn't expect me to
+carry 'em on a string over my shoulder, did you?
+And I would have brought some venison, but you
+don't care for it. You told me once that their
+eyes were so pretty and plaintive, it was a
+shame to kill them. I always try to please you,
+so I thought I would let them live.&mdash;Yes,
+thank you, I have brought back more health
+than I took away: I may be able now to stand
+the fatigues of business till Thanksgiving.&mdash;O,
+Hartman? I couldn't bring him along, you
+know: where is your sense of propriety? I
+advised him to stay up there where he is safe,
+and not tempt the shafts and arrows any more.
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[181]</a></span>
+What, I 'haven't done anything then, after
+all?' O, haven't I! Jane, you are worse than
+a serpent's tooth: if Lear had been in my
+place, he would have talked about a thankless
+sister. It has been a weary, toilsome, painful
+task, and few men could have carried it through
+to so happy an end. And when I come back
+hungering for sympathy&mdash;I told you what my
+nature was&mdash;you meet me with cold words and
+suspicious looks. It is enough to make one
+weep, and long for the silent grave. If it were
+Hartman, you would do the weeping, no doubt.
+Yet that man, whom you thus unnaturally set
+above your brother&mdash;you have no idea of his
+harshness, his violence, his embittered prejudice
+and obstinacy; nor of the patience and gentleness
+and persuasive force with which I expelled
+the demons that possessed him, and brought
+him to his right mind. O, he has had an
+overhauling; he will take care how he does it
+again. But he is all right now."</p>
+
+<p>"I wonder at that, after his being in your
+hands for a week. Your tender mercies were
+cruel, I fear. What does Clarice say to this?
+Is she satisfied?"</p>
+
+<p>"She ought to be, but she says nothing at
+all; couldn't take in the magnitude of my news
+at once, most likely. Yet I took pains to break
+it to her delicately, and with light touches of
+humor, to relieve any strain there might
+be."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, soothed her nerves as with a nutmeg-grater,
+no doubt. You will serenade her next
+with tin pans and fish-horns, and think that a
+delicate attention. Brother, Clarice does not
+share your peculiar view of humor, nor do I.
+Mabel tries to comprehend it and to catch your
+tone, as is her melancholy duty; but it is hard
+work for her. Well, what does Mr. Hartman
+say?&mdash;Don't tell me anything that is private,
+or belongs to Clarice alone."</p>
+
+<p>"O, you may hear most of it. He says all
+sorts of things&mdash;anything you like. You see
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[182]</a></span>
+he can't be trusted, or trust himself, any
+longer, so I have full power to represent him."</p>
+
+<p>"That is definite, and convenient for you,
+whatever it may be to others. Of course a man
+will promise anything when he has an object
+to gain. I suppose you left him in the depths
+of despair and on a pinnacle of ecstasy at
+once."</p>
+
+<p>"That is about it. Let us be thankful that
+you and I <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: there is no 'are' in the original">are</ins> well beyond these follies.&mdash;My dear,
+I wasn't alluding to your age; upon my honor
+I wasn't. I only meant that your elevation of
+mind and dignity of character lift you far above
+such idiotic transports, and give you a right to
+despise weak creatures like Jim, and in some
+degree even myself. No man is worthy of you,
+Jane: you know you never would look at any
+of them. What did I tell you about your
+looks? Except Clarice, and perhaps I ought
+to say Mabel, and a few on the cars, you are by
+far the handsomest woman I've seen since I
+left home."</p>
+
+<p>"After your week among the belles of Wayback,
+that compliment seems strained. O, I
+see: Clarice was not in the right mood just
+now, and your tide of geniality rolled back
+upon itself, so that it has to break loose on
+some one else: or you are to see her again to-morrow,
+and must practice smooth things
+meantime to say then.&mdash;Ah, it is both, is it?"</p>
+
+<p>"Sister, you are an external conscience&mdash;except
+that you won't approve when I have done
+the right thing, and done it well. You would
+be invaluable to Jim. I doubt whether he and
+Clarice will get on; and he thinks a heap of
+you. If he don't suit her on further inspection,
+or makes any more blunders, you might
+take him in hand and make a man of him."</p>
+
+<p>"So as to keep him in reach as material for
+you? Robert, if you want me to comfort you
+when Clarice is gone, you will have to make
+your light humor much lighter yet, and let me
+select subjects for its exercise."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[183]</a></span>
+"Now, now&mdash;do you think I would offer you
+secondhand goods? If I had known him then
+as I do to-day, I would have let her go off in
+June as she proposed, and fixed it the other
+way. It would have saved no end of bother."</p>
+
+<p>"And deprived you of a source of huge
+amusement, and an <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'unprecendented'">unprecedented</ins> field for
+the display of your peculiar talents. Do you
+think men and women are mere puppets for
+you to play with? You would make but a poor
+tenth-rate Providence&mdash;though you may have
+succeeded in this case. Tell me how you did
+it."</p>
+
+<p>"I showed him that he was all wrong. He
+knew that already, but thought she didn't care.
+I told him she did."</p>
+
+<p>"Robert! You have not betrayed her? Is this
+your diplomacy?"</p>
+
+<p>"Of course not: how you talk, Jane. I said
+her interest in him was philanthropic, and he
+had behaved with brutal ingratitude&mdash;like a
+charity patient in the hospital, or a bad boy at
+Sunday School; so he ought to yearn to come
+back&mdash;if she will kindly allow&mdash;and give her a
+chance to go on reforming him or not, just as
+she pleases. I admitted the purely speculative
+possibility that it might be otherwise&mdash;of a
+more personal and commonplace description&mdash;just
+to encourage him a little; but as he had
+said at the start that this chance was practically
+nonexistent, I let him think so and dwelt on
+the other view, which was new to him, and
+impressive. O, I preserved her dignity; that
+was the first necessity. If he is cherishing any
+hopes of the vulgar, everyday sort, he did not
+get them from me."</p>
+
+<p>"And did he believe all that? If so, I must
+have been mistaken in the man."</p>
+
+<p>"He had to believe it. It was the simple
+truth: I merely arranged the colors properly
+on his mental canvas. He thinks I am Solon
+and Rhadamanthus and Nehemiah in one.
+How would you have done it perhaps, when
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[184]</a></span>
+you had to hook your fish without letting him
+get the bait&mdash;induce him to commit himself,
+and yet not commit her at all?"</p>
+
+<p>"I don't know, brother. You could not
+have thrown her on his generosity, of course;
+she would have killed herself and him and all
+of us, rather than take happiness at such a
+price&mdash;and I can't blame her. Yet she despises
+a subterfuge. I would not tell her the
+details if I were you; she will not ask for them,
+nor want to hear them. It is a queer world:
+when such things have to be done&mdash;sacrificing
+your best friend to insure his welfare, deceiving
+him in the interest of one who abhors deception&mdash;your
+eccentricities may be of more use than
+I had hitherto supposed possible."</p>
+
+<p>I pretended to be deeply pained at this; but
+in my heart I knew it was high praise, coming
+from Jane. She is not like Clarice; she asked
+all manner of questions, and kept me answering
+them three mortal hours. Fortunately Mabel
+has less curiosity, or I should not have got much
+sleep that night, after all my ill-appreciated
+labors. But I don't regret what I did for
+Hartman; <i>he</i> believes what you tell him.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[185]</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><a name="Confession" id="Confession"></a>XXXII.</h3>
+
+<h4>CONFESSION.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Clarice</span> was not at breakfast next day; but
+as I was going out, she met me in the hall.
+"Robert, can you come back at four?"</p>
+
+<p>"At any hour you wish, Princess; or I will
+stay now."</p>
+
+<p>"No, that will be early enough. I will be
+in the library."</p>
+
+<p>Now that is Clarice all over: she is herself
+again. No eagerness, no petty curiosity, but a
+grand indifference, a statuesque calm, a goddess-like
+withdrawal from the affairs and atmosphere
+of common mortals. Indeed it is not she who
+will ask for details that any other woman would
+burn to know: a single question as to the vital
+point, and then "what else have you to tell
+me?" The rest might keep a day, a week, a
+month. Her taste was always for large outlines,
+her mind has breadth and grasp and
+comprehension; when she seemed to care for
+little things, she was at play. In a matter like
+this, her secret thoughts are the main element;
+what others may think or say or do need be
+noticed only as contributing material for them
+to work with. What has vexed her all this
+time has been that the sacrilege of events had
+put one factor in the problem out of reach,
+beyond her control: she has been used to having
+all she wanted of the earth, and deigning to
+want but little of it and to value that little but
+lightly. Now that she cares for something at
+last, and it is at her call again, she will weigh
+and <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'meusure'">measure</ins> the situation, and all its aspects
+and possibilities, in the silent council chamber
+of her soul, and the decision will go forth before
+any one ventures to ask what it may be. Stay
+in your cave, hermit of Wayback, and say your
+<i>Ave Clarissa</i> as patiently as you can: when the
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[186]</a></span>
+edict calls you to court, your part will be cast
+for you, and you will have nothing to do but
+say the lines. If you break bounds again and
+stray from your proper posture before the throne,
+or put in any more of your irreverent gags, I
+am done with you.</p>
+
+<p>I have wrought your will, my Princess, and
+brought back your pretty toy, for you to mend
+or break: you hardly mean to break it. Yet
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'is'">it</ins> is a pity to see you descend to common uses,
+to ordering a house and taking care of poor old
+Jim; you were born to shine apart in solitary
+state, and have men gaze at you wistfully from
+far below. No man can rate more highly than
+I the domestic relations, affections, virtues; but
+I don't like to see you put yourself in the category
+of mere human beings, as if marriage and
+a man were good enough for you. You will
+have your way, now as always, and use me at
+your will: it is you who have the ordering of
+this funeral, not I.</p>
+
+<p>As she did not seem to like my style last
+night, I had better be sober and plain this
+afternoon; sort of Quaker thee and thou, without
+artistic embellishments. Yes, by Jove, I'll
+have to be, for there's the guilty secret to be
+unloaded. There <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'is is'">is</ins> no excuse for keeping
+it to myself any longer, now Jim has it; sooner
+or later she must know that I've known all along
+what was not meant for me, and it may as well
+be done now, whatever the result. It will not
+please her, but I can't help that. I will not
+break my word and keep a thing from her,
+except as there is reason; to tell it can do no
+great harm now, unless to me&mdash;and that is a
+minor matter.</p>
+
+<p>At the hour appointed I was on deck: no
+one ever interrupts the Princess, and we were
+undisturbed. "Robert, I had better hear your
+report. Cut it short, please; give me a condensed
+outline merely."</p>
+
+<p>What did I tell you? This was said with an
+air as if she were discharging an unwelcome
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[187]</a></span>
+duty, so that I might not feel neglected. She
+evidently resents the impertinence of circumstances
+in forcing her to allow me to have a
+hand in her private matters: it will be as much
+as I can expect if she forgives me for meddling.
+Obeying orders, I endeavored to be brief and
+business-like.</p>
+
+<p>"He has had a bad time of it, Clarice. He
+was a changed man when I got there&mdash;rough
+and morose and unmanageable; kept hinting
+at some mysterious crime he had committed.
+It was a day or two before I could bring him to
+book, by methods on which I need not dwell.
+Detective work is not a nice business; the
+means has to take its justification from the end.
+He made his confession as if it were another's;
+said how superior you were, and how basely he
+had repaid your condescension. He thought
+that ended the affair, except for his lifelong
+remorse; hoped he might die soon; impossible
+to be forgiven, or regarded by you in any light
+but that of a loathsome object&mdash;regular stage
+part, you know, but perfectly sincere: if you
+like innocence, he can supply a first-class article.
+I put a head on him by saying his behavior
+had been much more flagrant than he
+realized, and the worst part of it was interfering
+with your plans and going off in such a
+hurry; that ladies like to be consulted in such
+cases, and sometimes to administer divine forgiveness,
+or at least punish the transgressor in
+their own way, and not leave it all to him.&mdash;You
+need not look at me like that, Princess.
+I know nothing of your feelings, and told him
+so. Of course I maintained your dignity: what
+else was I there for? And so, to do him
+justice, did he, as far as he knows how. He is
+just where you like to have them&mdash;or would if
+you cared enough about them. After I had
+enlightened him as to his duty, it was all
+simple. I gave him just sufficient hope&mdash;of
+pardon, I mean&mdash;to keep him alive, and turn
+his despair to active penitence. The game is
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[188]</a></span>
+entirely in your hands now. He was on fire
+to come back with me, or to write at once. I
+said he must take no more liberties, but wait for
+permission. If I may venture a suggestion,
+you might let me tell him to write you; then
+you can graciously allow him to come when
+you are ready for him."</p>
+
+<p>That I may call a succinct and lucid narrative.
+She listened to it with clear eyes like
+Portia, as if she were a judge and had to hear
+such cases every day. Now for questions: I
+bet odds there will not be more than three, and
+those straight to the heart of my discourse&mdash;nothing
+irrelevant, or secondary, or sentimental.</p>
+
+<p>"Did he say what had been his offence?"</p>
+
+<p>"Presumption. He insulted you&mdash;though
+of course he didn't mean to&mdash;and you very
+properly resented it and withered him with
+contempt. He never understood, till I made
+him see it, that what he did next was worse
+than this, as emphasizing the wrong and making
+it&mdash;for a while&mdash;irrevocable."</p>
+
+<p>Her eyes were like judgment lightnings now,
+that might burn through the darkness and
+bring out all hidden things. Luckily I had
+nothing to hide; or rather I was about to make
+a clean breast of it.</p>
+
+<p>"How were you able to speak so positively?"</p>
+
+<p>"That is what he asked me, and therein lay
+such power as I had to master him; at least it
+was the chief weapon in my arsenal. I answer
+you as I answered him: By knowing more
+about the matter than he did. Princess, I
+have deceived you all along, and broken my
+promise to tell you everything. I saw and
+overheard the quarrel." And then I told her
+all about it.</p>
+
+<p>She looked at me silently, with an expression
+I never saw before. I turned away, as one
+turns from the sun in his strength. I was sitting
+on a stool beside her, and I suppose my
+head went down. Suddenly a hand was on my
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[189]</a></span>
+forehead, pushing it back. "Robert, look
+at me. What was your motive in keeping this
+from me?"</p>
+
+<p>"O, the motives were mixed; they always
+are. There was my dread of offending you;
+that was selfish. And more than that, I did
+not want to hurt you, if it could be avoided.
+And most, I was not willing to complicate the
+trouble, and all but certainly make it worse.
+It seemed to me that you would be shocked,
+and disgusted, and enraged to know that a
+third person had intruded on so private a scene,
+and surprised a secret that belonged to you.
+Don't fancy that I was blaming you; that was
+my rough guess at how any woman would feel,
+most of all you: perhaps I was wrong. I
+thought that for you to know might widen
+the breach, and destroy all chance of reconciliation.
+I had to think of him, as well as of
+you. Not as well, no; not as much&mdash;you know
+that; but of him too. I could not tell you till
+I had told him, and made the matter right&mdash;if
+you will have it so. You will not let it turn
+you against him now&mdash;this fact that I was
+there? It was not his fault: it was an accident,
+and I am the only one to blame. I
+did the best I could, after such lights as I
+had."</p>
+
+<p>Still the great eyes kept burning into mine;
+but they did not hurt so much as I had expected.
+"Did you tell Mabel and Jane of
+this?"</p>
+
+<p>"How could I? It was your secret. What
+do you take me for, Clarice? I never breathed
+a word of it, of course, until I had it out with
+Jim a week ago, and brought him to his senses:
+after that I thought you ought to know.
+Mabel and Jane never dreamed that I knew
+anything beyond what little you might have
+told me, or let me see."</p>
+
+<p>Her arms were round my neck now. There
+was a minute or two of silence: I really did not
+know what to say next. Then she looked up,
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[190]</a></span>
+tears in her eyes, a tone I never could describe
+in her voice.</p>
+
+<p>"And you have done all this for me, Robert!"</p>
+
+<p>I made a feeble attempt to unloose her hands
+and draw myself up. "Don't talk that way,
+Clarice; it hurts me. You make too much of
+this; it was a matter of course, and there is
+nothing new in it. I thought you knew I was
+always ready to do anything I could for you:
+that is an old story, as you used to say."</p>
+
+<p>The effort at dignity was not successful, for
+her head drooped again. Soon she raised it, a
+smile chasing the tears away.</p>
+
+<p>"You can triumph over Jane now. She
+used to say you never could keep a secret. Did
+you enjoy keeping this one, Bob?"</p>
+
+<p>"Not exactly. I will keep some more if you
+insist on it, but it would be more enjoyable if
+they were of another sort. No more like this,
+if it is the same to you."</p>
+
+<p>"You said you used this as a weapon to
+master him with. Why didn't you use it on
+me? It might have been good for me to be
+mastered and overruled."</p>
+
+<p>I had to laugh now. "Jim can try that by
+and by&mdash;if he dares. Other men may overrule
+other women, perhaps; I know my place too
+well. Clarice, it is not like you to talk nonsense.
+If I could have consulted you about
+this&mdash;how to keep the secret, and what to do
+with it&mdash;it would have made things easier for
+me, but unhappily that was not feasible. You
+don't mean it would have done good instead of
+harm if I had told you earlier?"</p>
+
+<p>"I doubt it. No, you were right. Brother,
+there is so much more of you than any of us
+thought!"</p>
+
+<p>"So Hartman has found. But I don't want
+to be unduly exalted. Love is better than
+pride, and this trouble of yours has brought us
+all closer together, I believe. There is only
+one thing to be done yet."</p>
+
+<p>"No; two at least. Robert, you deserve to
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[191]</a></span>
+know everything. I will tell you what we
+were talking about that wretched day, so that
+you may see what excuse there was for him,
+and how wrong I was. And then you can tell
+Jane and Mabel."</p>
+
+<p>"I don't want to know, my dear, nor is there
+any need to tell them anything. None of us
+desire to pry into your affairs, but only to see
+them set right. It was plain <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'that that'">that</ins> something
+led up to poor Jim's blunder, and that is
+enough. You can tell Mabel and Jane what
+you like before he comes back,&mdash;though they
+won't ask it.&mdash;I will overrule you for once, as
+you insist. You want to put a force upon
+yourself for my sake, and I will not have it;
+not another word of that. But&mdash;and in this
+case I am not overruling, but only suggesting&mdash;Jim
+is waiting all this time. May I tell him
+that he can write to you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Not just yet. You have opened my eyes as
+well as his, Bob; <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: you're">you've</ins> revealed so many
+masculine virtues that I must take them in by
+degrees. You've been keeping yourself in the
+background and putting him forward, as if I
+could be interested in one person only. Now
+let him wait a day or two, while I think about
+you."</p>
+
+<p>There may have been more of these exchanges,
+which I do not care to repeat. What
+goes on in the domestic circle is essentially of
+a private nature, too intimate and sacred to be
+whispered into the general ear. There are
+persons who will violate these holy confidences,
+and tell you what he said and she said when
+the doors were shut. I am not like them. If
+I appear at times to break my own rule and
+treat you as a member of the household, it is
+merely for your improvement, that you may
+see (as I told Jim last summer) how things are
+arranged in a christian family: and especially
+that, when any trouble of this kind invades
+your own humble roof, you may know how to
+slay the lion and extract strength and sweetness
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[192]</a></span>
+from his carcass, as I have done. Should these
+pages instruct but a single brother, whether by
+nature or adoption, how to unwind his sister's
+tangled affairs and bring them to a prosperous
+conclusion, I shall not have penned them in
+vain.</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="A_Family_Conclave" id="A_Family_Conclave"></a>XXXIII.</h3>
+
+<h4>A FAMILY CONCLAVE.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">I had</span> written to Hartman more than once
+since my return, telling him to keep up his
+spirits and bide his time. Before long came
+the permission to open a correspondence with a
+more important person than I. What he
+wrote I know not; he is probably able to do
+that well enough, whatever blunders he may
+commit when face to face. I have reason to
+believe his outpouring was answered, with excessive
+brevity but to the purpose, in the one
+word, 'Come.' In fact, the Princess declined
+(and very properly) to expend a postage-stamp
+on him, or to gratify him with an envelope of
+her own inditing, but told me to enclose this
+minute but inflammatory document in non-explosive
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'wrapings'">wrappings</ins> of my own.</p>
+
+<p>He was to arrive on a certain day in late
+November. The evening previous, as we were
+sitting together, Clarice&mdash;who generally prefers
+her own society, and I can't blame her&mdash;appeared,
+in our midst (if that expression is allowable),
+with an aspect of grim determination.
+I rose to give her a chair in the corner, but she
+sat down where she could see us and we could
+look at her. We did so, anxiously expectant,
+for this was a most unusual proceeding; and I
+inwardly resolved to make it easier for her than
+she meant to have it. She began with the air
+of an orator who reluctantly emerges from seclusion
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[193]</a></span>
+at his country's call, constrained to
+deliver matter of pith and moment.</p>
+
+<p>"It is no news that you all have shown me
+kindness such as passes all acknowledgment&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>She was not allowed to proceed without
+hindrance. Jane put forth an interrupting
+hand, which the speaker seized and imprisoned
+in her own: not that Clarice's is bigger than
+Jane's, but it possesses some muscular force.
+Mabel opened her lips, and one of us&mdash;I will
+not say which&mdash;was obliged to remind her that
+Miss Elliston had the floor.</p>
+
+<p>"It is not in me to be demonstrative, and I
+have seemed cold and thankless&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"We knew you better than that, dear," came
+from both.</p>
+
+<p>"&mdash;But I knew, I felt it all. Never did a
+girl without natural protectors&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"But you can have a natural protector whenever
+you like," cried Mabel. "You might
+have had any number of them, for years past."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, with or without, no girl ever had, or
+could have had, more faithful affection and
+delicate <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'consideraton'">consideration</ins> shown her than I. I have
+given you a great deal of trouble, and you never
+complained. I have come between you and
+friends&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"My dear," Mabel interposed again, "that is
+all right. Our friends will come back." And
+she nodded and looked like a female Solomon,
+while Jane whispered something and put her
+disengaged arm around the orator.</p>
+
+<p>"Don't interrupt me any more, please. You
+know it is not easy for me to talk of these
+matters&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"That is so," said I. "It is rarely we get
+a speech from Clarice on any subject. Do keep
+quiet, all of you, and let the poor girl go
+on."</p>
+
+<p>"But now I must tell you something you
+have no idea of."</p>
+
+<p>Here the female portion of the audience
+pricked up their ears, and I began to be nervous.
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[194]</a></span>
+"It is about Mr. Hartman's going away
+in August. That was all my fault."</p>
+
+<p>"Don't you believe her," said I. "He says
+it was all his fault."</p>
+
+<p>"Do be quiet, Robert. He is coming to-morrow,
+and justice must be done him. I
+treated him very badly, and&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"She didn't," said I. "Clarice, we don't
+want to be dragged into all your private squabbles,
+but if you will tell this disreputable story
+you have got to tell it straight. Jim says you
+merely showed a proper spirit, and so you did."</p>
+
+<p>"Why, what do you know about it, Robert?"
+cried Mabel and Jane together.</p>
+
+<p>"He was there, hidden in the bushes, like
+a villain in a cloak and slouched hat."</p>
+
+<p>Here came a chorus of exclamations and reproaches,
+till one of us had to say, "You may
+as well give it up, Clarice. These women will
+never let you go on; they don't know how to
+listen. If you were talking only to me, now&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Jane, you can never twit him again with
+not being able to keep a secret; he kept this
+one sacredly for three months."</p>
+
+<p>"Of course he did," said Mabel: "I always
+knew it."</p>
+
+<p>"Why, Robert, you told me&mdash;," Clarice
+exclaimed, and "O no, you didn't, my dear,"
+some one else put in, while Jane looked triumphant.</p>
+
+<p>"No, I didn't know this secret, of course,"
+Mabel admitted: "I only meant that I always
+knew Robert could keep a secret, if it were of
+very extraordinary importance, and if he were
+certain it would ruin everything to let it out.
+Poor Robert, what a hard time you have had!"</p>
+
+<p>"But how did he come to overhear your conversation?"
+said Jane. "What business had
+he there?"</p>
+
+<p>"It was all through his pipe. Mabel, you
+must never object to his pipe again."</p>
+
+<p>"There now, Mabel," remarked another of
+the company, "you wouldn't believe that the
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[195]</a></span>
+pipe was good for my health, and now you see
+it has preserved the whole family."</p>
+
+<p>"I don't see that," said the troublesome
+Jane: "what was the use of your being there
+intermeddling?"</p>
+
+<p>"Jane," said one severely, "if you will be
+still, you will probably learn. How can you
+expect to hear anything when you keep on
+interrupting Clarice like this?"</p>
+
+<p>"I am coming to that now, Jane. What he
+thus saw and heard he most patiently, and
+heroically, and from the noblest motives&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Excuse me, ladies," said I. "My pipe is
+not handy, but I must go out and smoke a
+cigar. I want to see a man&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Let the man smoke the cigar, and that
+will provide for both of them. You will sit
+down, Robert, and hear me out; I am not to
+be overruled this time."</p>
+
+<p>"It would give me the greatest pleasure to
+hear you out, my dear, but you know your
+health is delicate, and you are not accustomed
+to public speaking. This is the longest oration
+you ever made: Jane's constant interruptions
+are trying, and you must be fatigued. If I
+were you, I would rest now, and finish this up
+to-morrow."</p>
+
+<p>"Now isn't that exactly like him?" cried
+the irrepressible Jane. "He is afraid of your
+exposures, as well he may be. Go on, Clarice,
+and tell us what other iniquities he has committed,
+besides deceiving Mabel and me about
+this, while he was questioning us all the time,
+and pretending to impart all he knew."</p>
+
+<p>"He deceived me too. Yes, you may well
+stare; he kept this absolutely to himself, till
+he could use it for his own deep purposes; and"&mdash;she
+blushed a little&mdash;"that is why things
+are as they are."</p>
+
+<p>I saw she wanted to be helped out, so I said.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, that is the cause of this thusness.
+You see, Mabel, what great results may spring
+from a little pipe. Jane, you will have to
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[196]</a></span>
+admit that I am the guardian angel and protecting
+genius of you all."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Clarice," said Jane, "I will own
+that my estimate of his talents has risen lately;
+but then my confidence in his moral character
+has fallen in the same degree. He does tell
+such dreadful falsehoods."</p>
+
+<p>"It is not quite as if he told them for love of
+them, simply for the pleasure he takes in falsehood
+itself. You must allow for his motives."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," said Mabel, "his motives are always
+excellent, whatever his words and actions may
+be. You remember the man in the Bible, who
+was delivered to Satan for his soul's sake; and
+I have heard Robert himself say that in ascending
+a mountain you often have to go down
+hill."</p>
+
+<p>"She means," I explained, "that on the rare
+occasions when I employ fiction, I do it purely
+in the interests of Truth. That goddess is
+imperfectly provided with garments&mdash;excuse
+me for stating so scandalous a fact, but it is so.
+Now this might have been well enough in
+Eden before the fall, but it will not do now;
+so we have to make the poor creature presentable,
+and pay her milliner's bills, which are
+often high. It would have been far more
+congenial to my candid nature to tell you all at
+once what I saw and heard that day in August;
+but such a course might have been attended
+with unpleasant consequences. If you will all
+forgive me, I will try not to do it again."</p>
+
+<p>"I do not see my way to forgive you, brother,"
+said Jane with a judicial air, "unless Clarice
+does; and that appears doubtful. I will be
+guided entirely by her."</p>
+
+<p>"I have managed my own affairs so well
+without help, that you will naturally all wish
+to be guided by me. It is a good deal for me
+to do; but since Robert's misconduct has done
+no great harm, and rather than come between
+brother and sister, I will&mdash;yes, I will forgive
+him." She rose majestically, signed to me to
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[197]</a></span>
+do the same, and gave me both hands, with
+the air of a sovereign conferring knighthood;
+we made an impressive tableau. "And since
+you are all so quiet at last, I may finish my
+speech, and state the reason for this act of leniency.
+As Mr. Hartman's conversion is to be
+completed this time without fail, it is plainly
+necessary that he should find us a united
+family."</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<h3><a name="To_Persons_About_to_Marry" id="To_Persons_About_to_Marry"></a>XXXIV.</h3>
+
+<h4>TO PERSONS ABOUT TO MARRY.</h4>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">I would</span> have liked to celebrate Jim's arrival
+by sundry pleasant and appropriate remarks;
+but impressive warnings and entreaties had
+reached me privately from three distinct quarters,
+urging me to efface myself on this occasion,
+and keep in the background. I complied
+with these suggestions, and there were no
+tumultuous rejoicings over the returning prodigal.
+Mabel and Jane greeted him with unobtrusive
+warmth: Clarice was rather stately
+and very calm; to look at her, you would have
+thought this was an ordinary call. When they
+talk about my duplicity, they mean that they
+want a monopoly of the article themselves.
+The visitor flushed and trembled like a boy,
+till I felt sorry for him, and would have offered
+him something to drink if they had given me a
+chance. Women are so queer about such matters:
+instead of letting the poor man go off
+with me, they pretended not to notice his confusion,
+and talked about the weather and
+mountains and trout, as if he wanted to discuss
+such frivolities. This soon got to be a bore,
+and I went to the new smoking-room, inviting
+him to follow when he needed rational conversation.
+He did not come at all, and I found
+afterwards that my wife and sister had gone
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[198]</a></span>
+away presently, and left him alone with Clarice&mdash;and
+they such sticklers for Propriety.</p>
+
+<p>I expected to have some fun watching this
+tender pair; but I was disappointed. There
+never is anything sensational to see when the
+Princess is in action: she carries an atmosphere
+of quietness about with her, and imposes it on
+those who come within her circle. Hartman
+broke rules and bounds once last summer, but
+he seems unlikely to do it again. The rest of
+us kept out of the way as much we could, and
+gave them scope. I said to Jane that we
+ought to get up a torchlight procession, or a
+big dinner, or something, in Jim's honor, but
+she scornfully told me to wait at least till the
+engagement was announced. When he was
+with me&mdash;which was little, for his time seemed
+to be much occupied, and his weakness for
+tobacco nearly cured&mdash;he once or twice attempted
+some drivel about disinterested friendship
+and undying gratitude; but I stopped
+that. If there be one thing for which I profess
+no sympathy, it is puling sentiment. He apparently
+did not care to discuss the progress of
+his affair, which was a relief; it is a dreadful
+nuisance to have to listen to lovers' talk, and I
+had enough of that at Wayback, when I could
+not help myself. At our time of life a man
+ought to be occupied with serious pursuits.
+But Jim is as if he had been asleep in a cave
+for ten years, and waked up with his beard
+well grown and a large stock of emotional
+aptitudes abnormally developed. I suppose
+Clarice likes this kind of thing, but I wonder
+at her taste.</p>
+
+<p>They had been at it a week or so when I
+stumbled upon them unawares one day in the
+library. I tried to retreat, but they both called
+to me to stop.</p>
+
+<p>"Robert," said she, "we have quarrelled
+again. That is, he has."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, Bob," said Jim, "and you'll have to
+straighten it out for us as you did before."</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[199]</a></span>
+"This is too much," said I. "You had
+better take the next train for home, and by
+next May my health will need another change
+and I'll come up and attend to your case."</p>
+
+<p>"This needs to be settled right away. Clarice
+wants to go to the woods and live there the
+year round, and I can't permit such a sacrifice."</p>
+
+<p>"Robert, he wants to live in the world like
+other people, just for my sake, and I can't
+permit such a sacrifice either."</p>
+
+<p>"You must both prepare to be sacrificed, my
+lambs. Each of you will have to bear and
+forbear, and get used to the other's repulsive
+selfishness and hidebound eccentricities, to
+forego the sweet privacy and freedom of self-indulgence
+which have marked your innocent
+lives hitherto. When the glamour of young
+romance has faded, when the bloom is rubbed
+off the peach and the juice is crushed out of
+the strawberry, there will remain only the hard
+reality of daily duty, which is continual self-immolation.
+You are wise to commence practising
+this virtue at once."</p>
+
+<p>"You must instruct us how to do it, Bob.
+It would be as you say, no doubt&mdash;with her&mdash;if
+she had to live at Wayback as she proposes.
+You have been there enough to know that it is
+no place for her; tell her so. She has confidence
+in you, and she won't believe me."</p>
+
+<p>"It would be as you say, Robert&mdash;with him&mdash;if
+he had to live among the constraints and
+shams which his soul abhors. You know it,
+and you have great influence over him. Tell
+him so."</p>
+
+<p>"You are both right, and it is clear there is
+no place where you can live&mdash;together. James,
+she is a fragile flower; transplanted to your
+sterile soil, she would soon wither and drop
+from the stalk. Clarice, he is fastidious, critical,
+and intense; made a part of the things he
+despises, the torturing contact with pomps and
+vanities would soon strike his knell. My little
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[200]</a></span>
+dears, your paths were never meant to unite,
+and the best thing you can do is to part in
+peace. James, this is all imagination, and you
+know it; a milliner's lay-figure, or that rural
+nymph at Wayback, would do just as well, and
+be much less exacting and expensive. Clarice,
+you are pushing <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'philantrophy'">philanthropy</ins> too far: the
+picturesqueness of this hermit, and his alleged
+romantic woes, have misled you as to the nature
+of your interest in him. I don't think
+<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'motrimony'">matrimony</ins> would suit you at all: you had
+much better stay with us, whom you can leave
+whenever you please. You could not do that
+so easily with a husband, and you don't like
+divorce. My children, pause: you will soon
+have had enough of each other, and then you
+can go your several ways in peace."</p>
+
+<p>"See here, old man; it is too late for this
+kind of wisdom, after all the pains you have
+taken to bring us together when we were parted
+indeed. You ought to be proud of your work,
+and ready to give us your blessing."</p>
+
+<p>"Don't mind Robert, James. You must
+take him as you find him, and it encourages
+him to go on if you seem to pay attention. All
+you need is to give him time&mdash;generally a great
+deal of it, to be sure. When you have known
+him twenty years or so as I have, you will
+understand that he usually has some tolerably
+good sense at the bottom of his mind, underneath
+a mountain of foolishness; he would say
+it is like the beer after he has blown the froth
+off.&mdash;Get to the sense as soon as you can, dear,
+for we can't well wait more than a month or
+two for it: we have to make our plans."</p>
+
+<p>"I was going to say that you had better leave
+the engagement unlimited as to time and say
+nothing about it, for then you can get tired of
+one another at leisure, and part without embarrassment.
+But if you are in such indecent
+haste, and seriously bent on ruin, I will assist
+you over the precipice as gently as may be.
+You will have to compromise, and humor each
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[201]</a></span>
+other a little. Go abroad for awhile, or to
+Florida or the Pacific, till you feel less exclusive;
+then come back to us. The house is big
+enough, and you can make your winter home
+here: we can't let you have her <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'an'">on</ins> any other
+terms, Jim. You can enlarge your place when
+the weather opens, and put in the spring and
+fall there: some of us will come up, or I will
+anyway, after trout. Perhaps I'll bring Jane:
+she wanted to catch some. It would not be
+safe for Herbert; he is too fond of bears. If
+you find the whole summer there too much
+bliss, as you will, you can divide with us at
+Newport. That is fair to all parties, isn't
+it?"</p>
+
+<p>"It will do nicely, for a rough sketch at
+least, and give us time to think. But there is
+a more serious difficulty, as you will see. Robert,
+he wants to give up his well-considered
+principles of so many years, and just for me&mdash;however
+he may deny it. Now I say he was
+mainly right. Take Life in the large view,
+and it is not a grand or beautiful thing. Have
+we any right to overlook the misery of millions,
+because a few of us like each other and are
+outwardly comfortable? I will not have him do
+so weak a thing as change his standards from
+no better reason than&mdash;well, that you went up
+to him for the fall fishing."</p>
+
+<p>"My dear Clarice, if you set up as a Pessimist
+apostle, you will convert all the town, and that
+will never do.&mdash;You hear her, Jim? A wise
+man sometimes has to take his sentiments from
+a wiser woman. But seriously, I am ashamed
+of you. Having used your eyes and brains
+long ago and received a true impression, what
+right have you to cast it away, and be misled
+by a narrow prejudice in behalf of Life&mdash;or of
+some particular section of it? If he that loves
+a coral cheek and a ruby lip is but a redhot
+donkey, what shall we say of him who makes
+these his <ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'weatherguage'">weathergauge</ins> to test the universe
+by?"</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[202]</a></span>
+"Well, Bob, perhaps I have received a new
+impression, which is truer than the other&mdash;and
+deeper. As you told me last summer, a world
+with Clarice in it is quite different from a
+world without her. Princess&mdash;if I may use his
+term&mdash;Bob thinks a good deal of you too; at
+least he used to. You entered into his scheme
+of things as well as mine. Such is his duplicity,
+perhaps you never suspected the fact."</p>
+
+<p>"That is strange, when he has taken such
+pains to get me off his hands. I could hardly
+believe it of you, Robert, on any less authority;
+it was an unworthy weakness, in such a philosopher.
+But really now, are you going to
+uphold him in this&mdash;against me?"</p>
+
+<p>"Far from it: you will make him think
+what you please&mdash;only your own opinion on
+this point, though so strongly held and stated,
+is somewhat recent. Let us have a middle
+ground to start from, on which all parties can
+meet, as in the other case. When things go
+to suit us, let us call it a good world: when
+they don't, of course it is a bad one. O, we can
+consider the suffering millions too; but then
+we ourselves are somebody, and have our own
+point of view. So when you two look at each
+other, and contemplate your own bliss, you
+will be optimists; and when you read the suicides
+in the papers, and think of the Siberian
+exiles and my labors in Water Street, it will
+be the other way. Why, I am often a pessimist
+in the morning, and the reverse at night.
+It depends on the impression you receive, as
+Jim says; and there are a good many impressions,
+and not all alike. Often you can be
+betwixt and between. Let us fix it that way:
+I am sure that ought to suit anybody."</p>
+
+<p>Jim agreed that it would do very well, but
+Clarice seemed undecided. "It seems so frivolous
+to look at Life in this easy way, just
+because we&mdash;well, are not unhappy, and not
+without friends. You never do yourself justice,
+Robert&mdash;or very rarely. If we have been
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[203]</a></span>
+favored beyond others, we ought to be earnest
+and serious."</p>
+
+<p>"My dear, Time will check your frivolity,
+and mitigate the morbid bitterness of Jim's
+gloomy contempt of life&mdash;or vice versa. If I
+have got you mixed up, I beg pardon: you
+have changed positions so, it confuses me.
+But as we are to be earnest and serious, we
+should seek to communicate our happiness
+to others. Hadn't I better call them in?"</p>
+
+<p>The lovers consented, and I called. Mabel
+and Jane came with eager smiles and effusive
+congratulations. It is curious, the stress which
+the feminine intellect lays on a mere point of
+time, or external event, like the celebration of
+a union between two young people, or the first
+statement that such a union is to be formed;
+whereas we all know that the real event is
+mental, or at most resides in the clash and
+concurrence of two minds, assisted by the
+bodies they inhabit. Our friends had probably
+come to a sufficient understanding the
+night of Jim's arrival, a week ago: in fact the
+thing was practically settled when I brought
+back his submission, and even he must have
+had sense enough to know it was when she
+wrote him that one word, 'Come.' So what on
+earth is the use of making a fuss about it now?
+But I will not press this view, which may be
+too rarefied and lofty for the vulgar mind.</p>
+
+<p>There were kisses, and laughter, and tears I
+believe&mdash;but not of the Princess' shedding&mdash;just
+as if something had really happened. I
+was sorry for Jim, he looked so sheepish.
+Then he, or Clarice, or both of them, to cover
+the awkwardness of the moment, began to extol
+my virtues and services&mdash;in which there was
+no sense at all; for suppose you have done a
+good thing, you don't want to be everlastingly
+cackling about it: the thing is done, let it
+stand on its own merits or demerits. To stop
+this, I proposed a division of the honors.
+"There is Herbert, who is unhappily in bed
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[204]</a></span>
+now: he set the ball rolling. He was the only
+one of us all who dared ask Clarice what she
+had done to you, Jim. And here is Clarice
+herself, who discovered that my health was
+failing and needed the air that blows over
+troutbrooks; give her a benefit. And here is
+Jane, who urged me on&mdash;drove me, I may say.
+But for her, I might never have had courage to
+beard you two dreadful people, and ask you
+what you meant by such conduct."</p>
+
+<p>Jane was receiving due attention, when
+Mabel spoke. "You must not overlook me, as
+if I had had no hand in it. I approved and
+encouraged it from the start: you know I did.
+And when you went away, Mr. Hartman, and
+they all felt so badly and thought you would
+never come back, I always said it would be
+right&mdash;<ins class="correction" title="Transcriber's Note - the original reads: always. without quotation marks">always</ins>."</p>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<h3>THE END.</h3>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<hr style='width: 65%;' />
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Pessimist, by Robert Timsol
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+</html>
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Pessimist, by Robert Timsol
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: A Pessimist
+       In Theory and Practice
+
+Author: Robert Timsol
+
+Release Date: October 9, 2008 [EBook #26847]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A PESSIMIST ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Colin Bell, Brett Fishburne and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+A PESSIMIST;
+
+IN
+
+THEORY AND PRACTICE.
+
+BY
+
+ROBERT TIMSOL.
+
+
+NEW YORK:
+
+JOHN B. ALDEN, PUBLISHER.
+
+1888.
+
+
+Copyright, 1888,
+
+BY
+
+THE PROVIDENT BOOK COMPANY.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+
+I. Wisdom in the Woods.                  7
+
+II. Worse Yet.                          17
+
+III. Complications.                     24
+
+IV. A Wilful Princess.                  28
+
+V. Consultation.                        37
+
+VI. Preparation.                        44
+
+VII. Initiation.                        47
+
+VIII. Introduction.                     52
+
+IX. At Newport.                         55
+
+X. On the Cliffs.                       58
+
+XI. Explanations.                       63
+
+XII. Awakening.                         71
+
+XIII. Domestic Criticisms.              75
+
+XIV. Over two Cigars.                   79
+
+XV. The Catastrophe.                    83
+
+XVI. Feminine Councils.                 87
+
+XVII. Consolation.                      91
+
+XVIII. Against Earnestness.             99
+
+XIX. Conspiracy.                       102
+
+XX. Apology for Lying.                 108
+
+XXI. Jane to the Rescue.               118
+
+XXII. An Ordeal.                       125
+
+XXIII. Plan of Campaign.               132
+
+XXIV. To Wayback again.                139
+
+XXV. A Wild Brook.                     145
+
+XXVI. An Intractable Patient.          149
+
+XXVII. Scenery Improved.               156
+
+XXVIII. Diplomacy.                     159
+
+XXIX. Submission.                      168
+
+XXX. Wasted Advice.                    175
+
+XXXI. Results Reported.                178
+
+XXXII. Confession.                     185
+
+XXXIII. A Family Conclave.             192
+
+XXXIV. To Persons About to Marry.      197
+
+
+
+
+A PESSIMIST.
+
+
+
+
+I.
+
+WISDOM IN THE WOODS.
+
+
+I had seen and heard little of Hartman since our college days. There he
+was counted a youth of eminent promise: after that I knew that he had
+traveled, written something or other, and practised law--or professed
+it, and not too eagerly: then he had disappeared. Last May I stumbled on
+him in a secluded region where I had gone to fish and rest, after a year
+of too close attention to business. We came face to face in the woods,
+stared at each other, and then our hands met in the old grip. He took me
+home with him, to a comfortable enough bachelor establishment, and we
+made a night--or more than an evening--of it. He did not seem curious,
+but I was.
+
+"What have you been doing with yourself!" I began; "withdrawing from the
+world?"
+
+"To some extent," he said. "You can't do that entirely, you know. The
+world is in you as well as around you, unluckily. It is too much with
+us, as the poet observed. Do you remember the time you had in class over
+that sonnet?"
+
+"Pass that," I said. "I've given up poetry." ("I should have thought
+that impossible," he put in, in his nasty nagging fashion; but I took no
+notice.) "Where have you been all the time?"
+
+"Here, mostly. It's not much of a place, but that is its merit."
+
+He was getting too deep now, as he often did of old; so I said, "But
+it's so far away."
+
+"That's its other merit. You always had a direct and ingenuous mind,
+Bob. Here you've hit both bull's-eyes in two shots."
+
+"None of your chaff," said I. "Who do you practice your wits on, up
+here?"
+
+"My dogs. And there are some hens in the neighborhood, and a few small
+farmers. Or if my bosom cries too loudly to be eased of its perilous
+stuff, I can chaff myself, which is more profitable."
+
+"You were always too clever for me. What else do you do?"
+
+"As the Baroness used to say in _The Danicheffs_, in our days of vanity,
+'Do you think that is much of a compliment?' I read, and fish, and
+climb, and ride several hobbies, and meditate on Man, on Nature, and on
+Human Fate."
+
+"What's the good of that?" I was growing impatient of all this nonsense.
+
+"Well, not much, perhaps," said he. "For you, very little indeed. But
+intrinsically it is about as profitable as more popular avocations."
+
+"Now look here, Hartman," I said. "You're a better man any day than
+I--or you were. But here you are, hidden in the backwoods with owls (one
+of them was making a horrid noise outside), and nothing to show. Now
+I've got a wife--"
+
+"And seven children," he interposed.
+
+"No, only three. But I have a good business, and a house on the avenue,
+and a decent social position, and I'm making money. And I don't like to
+see you throw yourself away like this."
+
+"Old man," said Hartman, "we are just of an age, and you would pass for
+five years the elder. Your hair is getting gray, and thin on top. You
+look fagged. And you owned to me that you came here to pick up."
+
+He had me there a little. "Yes, I've been working hard. But I'm in the
+swim. I do as others do. I help to make the wheels go round." I thought
+I had him there; but you never can count on Hartman, except for an
+answer of some kind.
+
+"Wouldn't they go round without your help? And why should they go
+around, anyway? It might be a variety to have them stop. What's the good
+of it?"
+
+I stared at him; but his eye looked more rational than his talk sounded.
+"The good of it is that I am in things generally, while you are out."
+
+"Exactly so. I am out, while you are in. As to things generally, I
+prefer to be with the outs. It is a matter of taste, no doubt."
+
+"Well, you are beyond me. But I brought myself in merely as an
+example--not that I set up to be much of that--or an illustration, say.
+I want to know about you." It may have been foolish, but somehow I felt
+the old affection coming back as we talked. "What does it all mean,
+Harty?"
+
+He looked at me. "Do you really want to know, Bob?"
+
+"Of course I do. Do you suppose I've forgotten the larks we used to
+have, and the scrapes you got me out of, and how you coached me through
+that exam, in Calculus? It's long ago, Jim; but I took it rather hard,
+the way you dropped me."
+
+He began to look as he used to: he wasn't a selfish fellow in those
+days. "I never meant to be hard on you, Bob, nor supposed you'd take it
+so: and I doubt if you did, though you think so at this moment. It was
+part of a system; and systems are poor things, though we can't do
+without them. I'll tell you how it was."
+
+"Wait till I fill up.--Now go ahead."
+
+"You don't smoke as you used to, Bob. Does the Madam object?"
+
+"She doesn't like tobacco about the house, of course. And I'm not sure
+it's good for me."
+
+"Ah. Sorry to be leading you astray. There is no one to interfere with
+my little vices. Well, Bob, I got tired of it. Not that that alone would
+matter: one could stand being bored in a good cause. But I couldn't see
+that it was a good cause."
+
+"Would you mind explaining?" said I. "What cause?"
+
+"Helping to make the wheels go round. Being in the swim. Doing as others
+do. Trying to make a little money and a little name, and following the
+fashions of a carnal-minded generation. I could see no point to it, Bob;
+the game never seemed worth the candle."
+
+"And so you came out in the woods, like what's his name--that Concord
+fellow. Do you find this any better?"
+
+"Negatively. I am not so much a part of the things I despise. The pomps
+and vanities are conspicuous chiefly by their absence. It is a simpler
+life, comparatively laudable for there being less of it."
+
+"And don't you get bored, out here? A week or so of it is well enough in
+a way; but take it the year round, I should think you'd find it worse
+than civilization."
+
+"I get bored, of course: that is incidental to life, and chronic with
+one who has looked beneath the surface and sifted values. But it's not
+so oppressive as in town. There are no shams here, to speak of. Having
+no business and no society, we don't pretend to be very different from
+what we are."
+
+"O, if you come to that, the women still improve on nature, and the
+street has its little tricks and methods; but you could keep out of
+them. You were in the law."
+
+"It's all the same, Bob. The law now is worked much more as a business
+than as a science. Look at Jones, and Brown, and Jenkins: they are
+getting on, I hear. I don't want to get on in that way."
+
+"But you might have taken the scientific side of it. With your head
+piece, and your high and mighty notions, there was a field for you."
+
+"So is theology a field, or physic, or Greek roots, or chiropody--for
+him, who believes in them. I was not able to see that one line of
+thought has a right to crowd out all the rest, or to sink my whole soul
+in a profession. That's what they want of you now--to make a little
+clearing, and put up palings all round it, and see things outside only
+through the chinks of your blessed fence. Be a narrow specialist: know
+one thing, and care for nothing else. I suppose you can do that with
+oil."
+
+I thought there was some uncalled-for bitterness in this; but the poor
+fellow can't be contented, with his lonesome and aimless life. "We're
+not talking about me, Jim. You're the topic. Stick to your text, and
+preach away: my soul is not so immersed in oil that I can't listen. But
+I don't blame you for going back on the law; a beast of a business, I
+always thought it. Why didn't you go for a Professorship?"
+
+"My poor friend, you were at college four years, and graduated--without
+honors, it is true. Don't you remember how little we cared for the
+Profs. and their eminent attainments? We took it for granted that it was
+all right, and they understood what they were at; but it was a grind, to
+them and to us. If a man was an enthusiast for his branch, we rather
+laughed at him; or if his name was well up, we were willing to be proud
+of him--at a distance--as an honor to Alma Mater; but we kicked all the
+same, if he tried to put extra work on us. It was all fashion, routine,
+tradition. The student mind doesn't begin to look into things for itself
+till about the senior year, and then it's full of what lies ahead, in
+the great world outside--poor innocents! With those of us who had
+anything in us, it took most of the time to knock the nonsense
+out.--And then if a man wants a chair, he must take it in a western
+concern, where he'll be expected to lead in prayer-meeting, and to have
+no views of geology that conflict with the Catechism."
+
+"Well then, why not go on with literature? That was in your line: you
+might have made a good thing of it."
+
+"Yes, by 'unremitting application,' much the same as at law, and taking
+it seriously as a profession, I might in time possibly have made five
+hundred a year off the magazines, and won an humble place among our
+seven hundred rising authors. What's the good of that, when one is not a
+transcendent genius, destined for posterity? The crowd seems to be
+thickest just there: too many books, too many writers, and by far too
+many anxious aspirants. Why should I swell the number? The community was
+not especially pining to hear what I might have to say; and I did not
+pine so much as some to be heard."
+
+"I fear you lacked ambition, Harty. You would have made a pretty good
+preacher; but I suppose you weren't sanctified enough."
+
+"Thanks: scarcely. I prefer to retain some vestiges of self-respect.
+That will do for the youths on the beneficiary list, who are taken in
+and done for from infancy, to whom it is an object to get a free
+education and into a gentlemanly profession. That's the kind they mostly
+make parsons of now, I hear. My boy, to do anything really in that line,
+a man ought to have notions different from mine--rather. Why don't you
+advise me to set up a kindergarten? That would suit as well as
+chronicling ecclesiastical small beer. Cudgel your brains, and start
+something more plausible."
+
+This did not surprise me at all; but my suggestion-box was getting low.
+Then I made a rally. "How about the philanthropic dodge? Robinson is on
+the Associated Charities in town. I saw in the paper that he made a
+speech the other night."
+
+"If he does nothing better than speech-making, he might as well drop it.
+There might be something in benevolent efforts, if one had just the
+temperament and talents for them. But as it is, I fear most of it is
+humbug; mutual admiration, seeing your name in the paper, and all that.
+And how they get imposed on! How they pauperize and debauch those they
+try to raise! It's a law of nature, Bob, that every tub must stand on
+its own bottom: you can't reform a man from without. Natural selection
+will have its way: the shiftless and the lazy must go to the wall. If
+you could kill them off, now, that might do some good. The class that
+needs help is not like us--not that we are anything to brag of: they've
+not had our chance. It's very well to say, give 'em a chance; but that's
+no use unless they take it, which they won't. 'Who would be free,
+themselves must strike the blow.' If they wouldn't, you are bound to
+respect their right of choice. Your drunken ruffian will keep on
+breaking the furniture, till another like him breaks his skull. His
+wife, the washerwoman with six small children, will continue getting
+more and making things worse. This part of it at least ought to be
+regulated by law: but that would be a restriction of personal liberty,
+which is the idol of this age, and not without reason. We're between two
+millstones, and I see no way out."
+
+"How would you like politics? The gentleman is supposed to have an
+opening there now."
+
+"A doubtful and difficult one. If it had come in my time I might have
+tried it. But it would be uphill work, a sort of Sisyphus affair: you
+may get the stone to the top, but the chances are against it. And which
+party is one to join, when he sees nothing in either but selfish greed
+and stale traditions? Viewed as a missionary field, Bob, it's just like
+the ministry: you are weighed down with a lot of dead conventions which
+you must pretend to believe have life and juice in them yet. Before you
+can do anything you must be a partisan, and that requires a mediaeval
+state of mind. Mine, unluckily if you like, is modern. It wouldn't go,
+Bob. Try again, if you have more on your list."
+
+"Well, there's pure Science: you wouldn't care for the applied, I know.
+But you used to like beetles and things. Truth for Truth's sake is a
+fine motto, now?"
+
+"Yes, if they lived by it. There was Bumpus, old Chlorum's favorite
+student--in the laboratory, you remember. The old man died, and Bumpus
+stole all his discoveries, and published them as his own; made quite a
+pretty reputation, and is one of our leading chemists. You know how the
+books on Astronomy are made? A man finds out a thing or two for himself,
+cribs the rest from other books, changes the wording, and brings it all
+out with a blare of trumpets as original research. Those methods are
+approved, or at least tolerated, in the best scientific circles, and
+other folks don't know the difference. O, I belong to a few societies
+yet, and once in an age go to their meetings, when I get tired up here."
+
+"So the outside world still has charms, eh? Have to go back to it now
+and then, to keep alive, do you?"
+
+"Yes, when I need to be reconciled to solitude; much as you go to hear
+Ingersoll when your orthodoxy wants confirming, or Dr. Deadcreed if your
+liberalism is to be stirred up. Let us spice the insipid dish with some
+small variety. The lesser evil needs the greater for its foil."
+
+"Look here, Harty; this sounds like pure perverseness; opposition for
+its own sake, you know. I believe your money has been the ruin of you.
+It's not an original remark, but if you'd had nothing you'd have done
+something; gone into business like the rest of us, and made your way."
+
+"Of course, if I had been obliged to; but I should have loved it none
+the better. Poor Bayard Taylor said a man could serve God and mammon
+both, but only by hating the mammon which he served from sheer
+necessity. Say I got my living by a certain craft, would that make the
+craft noble? 'Great is Diana of the Ephesians,' because we sell her
+images! Why should I desire to supply the confiding public with shoes,
+or sugar, or sealing-wax? Plenty of others can do that better, and find
+it more amusing, than I should."
+
+"If it's amusement you're after, most men find it in Society. You're not
+too old for that yet."
+
+"Blind guide, I have been there. So long ago, you say, that I've
+forgotten what it's like? Not quite. Last winter I had to attend an
+execution: couldn't get out of it, you know. My cousin married a
+Washington belle, and I had to be there a week, and take it all in. Ah
+well, this is a threadbare theme; but I could understand how men fifteen
+hundred years ago fled from Alexandrian ball-rooms to Nitrian deserts.
+The emptiness of it--the eternal simper, the godless and harrowing
+routine! If a man has brains or a soul about him, what can he do with
+them in such a crowd? Better leave them at home with his pocket-book, or
+he might lose them--less suddenly, but more certainly, I fancy. No, the
+clubs are not much better; I don't care for horse-talk or the price of
+shares. See human nature? not in its best clothes--and you may read that
+remark either way you like. Why man, you can get all this in _Punch_ and
+the novels, with far less fatigue, and lay them down when you have had
+enough. An hour on Broadway sickens me for the wild-flowers, the
+brooks, the free breeze or the mountain side."
+
+He was getting violent now, and I thought I had better calm him down.
+"Oho! the rhyme and reason of a rural life, is it? Soothing effect of
+Nature on a world-worn bosom, and all that? So you do believe in
+something, after all?"
+
+"I told you it was but a choice of evils, and this is the less. Nature
+has neither heart nor conscience, and she sets us a bad example. She has
+no continuity, no reliableness, no self-control. I can see none of the
+fabled sublimity in a storm; only the pettishness of a spoiled child, or
+of an angry man bent on breaking things. The sunset is better to look
+at, but it has no more moral meaning than a peep-show. Yet this is a
+return to primitive conditions, in a way. I can throw off here the
+peddler's pack of artificialities that Vanity Fair imposes, and carry
+only the inevitable burden of manhood. The air is less poisonous to body
+and mind than in the cities. The groves were God's first temples, and
+may be the last."
+
+"See here, Hartman. Suppose people in general were to take up with these
+cheerful notions of yours, and go away from each other and out in the
+backwoods--what then?"
+
+"It might be the best thing they could do. But don't be alarmed, Bob: I
+am not a Nihilist agent. Preserve your faith in the Oil Exchange and the
+general order. I speak only for myself, and I'm not proselyting to any
+great extent. We'll have a week's fishing, and then I'll send you back
+to your wife in good shape. Or if you find yourself getting demoralized,
+you can skip earlier, either home or to a place further up that I'll
+tell you of, where the few inhabitants are as harmless as your youngest
+baby."
+
+But I was not to be bluffed off in this way. "Jim," I said, "there is
+something behind all this. Was it that girl you met at Newport and
+afterwards in Naples? You told me once--"
+
+"Never mind the girl," he said. "You are a married man, and I an old
+bachelor. Leave girls to those who have use for them. If we are to get
+any trout to-morrow, it's time we turned in. And if you won't stay, I'll
+go with you to the tavern and knock up old Hodge: he's been asleep these
+four hours." I thought he had talked enough for one night, so I said no
+more, but got back to bed.
+
+
+
+
+II.
+
+WORSE YET.
+
+
+Hartman had asked me to stay with him, but there is no use of
+overloading friendship, and I like to be my own master as well as he
+does. I might get tired of him, or he of me; and it's not well to be
+chained to your best friend for a solid week. Not that I am afraid of
+Hartman; he is not a lunatic, only a monomaniac; but I can cheer him up
+better when I have a good line of retreat open. He took me next morning
+to some superior pools, where the trout were fat and fierce; but I had
+not my usual skill. The truth is, Jim was on my mind; and after missing
+several big fish and taking a good deal of his chaff, I begged off--said
+I had letters to write--and so got to the tavern in time for dinner,
+which they have at the pagan hour of half-past eleven. Then I set to
+work thinking. I am not quite so dull as I may seem, but Hartman always
+had the ascendancy at college, and last night I fell into the old way of
+playing chorus to his high tragedy. This will not do, and I must assert
+myself. He was much the better student of course, but I have knocked
+about and seen more of the world than he has, shut up in these woods
+like a toad in a tree. He is too good a sort to go to seed with his
+confounded whimseys; so I determined to take a different tone with him.
+And I wrote to my wife about it: Mabel is a competent woman, and
+sometimes has very good ideas where mine fail--though of course I seldom
+let her see that. That evening I took him in hand.
+
+"Jim," I said, "I've been thinking--about you."
+
+"Ah," said he. "Large results may be expected from such unusual
+exertion. Impart them by all means."
+
+"James Hartman, you are lazy, and selfish, and unprincipled."
+
+"Yes?" said he, in an inquiring tone. "That is your thesis. Prove it."
+
+I went on. "A man should be doing something: you are doing nothing. A
+man should have a stake in the community. What have you got? Three dogs
+and an old cow. A man should be in connection and sympathy with the
+great tides of life. Here you are with nobody but yokels to talk to, and
+the pulse of the region about two to the minute."
+
+"Twin brother of my soul, companion of the palmy days of youth,
+methinks--as they say in the wild and wondrous West--you hit me where I
+live. But none of these things move me. I am lost in admiration of your
+oratory: really, Bob, I didn't think it was in you. But you said all
+this, in simpler language, last night."
+
+I saw I had overshot the mark: when he takes that tone, you are nowhere.
+"Jim," I said, "let's be serious. Begin where we left off, then. Granted
+that you don't care for making money, and the ends most of us are after.
+By character and fortune you are above the usual selfish motives. Still
+you are a man, a member of the community: you have duties to your
+fellows. Let the nobler motives come in. Do something to make the world
+happier, wiser, better. You have the power, if you had the will. Are not
+private talents a public trust? You used to berate the hogs of Epicurus'
+sty. It seems to me you've fallen back on mere self-indulgence. Your
+life here is a huge egoism. Cut loose from these withering notions:
+there is a better side to things than the one you see. Come back to the
+world, and be a man again."
+
+His eye was very bright now--not that it was ever dull--but I could not
+quite make out what it meant; perhaps mere curiosity. "Robert," he said,
+"I should believe that somebody had been coaching you, but there's no
+one in range who could do it except myself. It's not like you to have
+brought books along; and you've not had time to hear from home. What put
+you up to this?"
+
+"Hartman," I said, "look me in the eye and see whether I mean what I
+say. Go back with me next week. Make your home at my house till you can
+look round. I'll introduce you to some men who are not shams--and women,
+if you like. I know a few who have souls and consciences, though they do
+go to parties. I'll help you all I'm worth. You can make a new start.
+Something went wrong before. Better luck this time."
+
+"Bob," said he, "I'll take your word for it. Deeply touched by such
+unexpected and undeserved consideration--no, I won't chaff. You're not
+half a bad lot. But, my dear boy, you see the thing from your
+standpoint; mine is different. I'll try to explain. But what would you
+have me do?"
+
+"Whatever is best for you. Anything, so you get an object in life."
+
+"Do you remember what De Senancour says, in _Obermann_?"
+
+"Not I. Put it in your own English, please: no French morals in mine."
+
+"What is there to be done that is worth doing? It seems to me that
+everything is overdone. I go into a town, big or little: ten stores
+where one is needed. How do all these poor creatures live? Do you see
+anything noble in this petty struggle for existence? I can't. I serve my
+kind best by getting out of their way: that makes one less in the
+scramble."
+
+"I shouldn't expect you to sell tape or taffy, Jim. You could deal in a
+higher line of goods, and do it in your own way."
+
+"They don't want my goods, Bob, and I can't do it in my own way. I have
+tried--not much, but enough to see. There is no market for my wares: and
+I'm not sure they are worth marketing--or that any man's are. Truth as I
+see it is the last article to be in demand."
+
+"As you think you see it just now, very likely. Your eye is jaundiced,
+and sees all things yellow. Get well, and you can find a market. Fit
+your mind to the facts, and receive a true impression."
+
+"Exactly what I have done--so far as any impression is true. That's the
+point I've been waiting for you to come to. 'The Universe is change, and
+Life is opinion.' As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he; and as he
+thinks of things outside himself, so are they to him. One can do no more
+than use his eyes and brains, and then rule himself by what he sees. I
+have looked at matters more carefully and dispassionately than some do,
+and seen a little deeper into them: the prospect is not edifying, Bob. I
+am prejudiced, you say? No, I have cast aside prejudice. Most of you are
+misled by the love of life: you want to give a favorable account of your
+own belongings, and the wish is father to the thought: so you blink what
+is before you, and won't own the truth. Perhaps you are wise in your
+way: you gain such bliss as is in ignorance. Keep it if you can: I have
+no desire to disturb it."
+
+"Jim, mayn't there be a little conceit of superior wisdom here?"
+
+"Very possibly: as the lamented Bedott observed, we are all poor
+creatures. 'I do not speak as one that is exempt:' doubtless I have my
+full share of infirmity."
+
+"Then why not take the benefit of it, with the rest of us? There's a
+better as well as a worse side. Take things as they are, and make the
+best of them."
+
+"I do. The best is the least, and I get away from things as much as
+possible. To minimize life is to make the best of it."
+
+"Now you're at it again; begging the question, and dodging the
+argument--you'd say, summing it up, I suppose. I tell you, it's all
+mental, and your mind's diseased. You think you're injured by the scheme
+of things. Well, change your opinion, and the injury is gone. Didn't one
+of your old philosophers say something like that?"
+
+"He didn't give it quite the application you do, Bob. How can I change
+an opinion that is based accurately on facts? I don't make the facts: if
+I did, my opinion of myself would be yet worse than it is. I have a
+brain--such as it is--and a conscience: I can keep them clean and awake,
+even on Crusoe's island. Nothing better than that, my boy. 'What is the
+good of man? Rectitude of will, and to understand the appearances of
+things.'"
+
+"Well, Hartman, if you had two or three kids, as I have, you'd see
+things differently. They would give you an interest in life."
+
+"A tragically solemn one, no doubt. That responsibility at least can't
+be forced on a man. He can let his part of the curse die out with him."
+
+"Jim, you _are_ selfish. You were made to gladden some woman's eye and
+fill her heart. You were the strongest man of the nine, and the best oar
+in the crew. We all envied your looks, and there's more of them now.
+You could outshine all the gilded youth I know, and hold your own with
+the best. I remember a girl that thought so, a dozen years ago.
+Somewhere a woman is waiting for you to come and claim her. Why will you
+rob her and the world? This wilful waste is selfish wickedness, that's
+what it is."
+
+"Think so if you must: it's a free country. But you sugar the pill too
+much. Who misses me--or what if some few did for a while? They've
+forgotten me long ago. I tell you, I served society by deserting it."
+
+"It's all very well now, Jim, while your youth and strength last. But
+after you turn forty, or fifty say, these woods and whims will lose
+their charm; you'll get bored as you've never been yet. The emptiness
+and dreariness that you theorize about will become stern realities:
+you'll pine, when it's too late, for human affection and some hold on
+life. My lad, you are storing up for yourself a sad old age."
+
+I thought I had him at last. His surface lightness was all gone: he
+looked intent and solemn. "No doubt of it, Bob; not the least in life. I
+am human, and the worst is yet to come. But do you think me such a cad
+as to go back on my principles in search of so poor a shadow as
+happiness? Shall I, in base hope of easing my own burden, throw it on
+somebody else who but for me might go through existence lightly? Should
+I call sentient beings out of the blessed gulf of nothingness, that they
+may pay a duty to my weakness by and by, and curse me in their hearts?
+That would be somewhat too high a price to pay for broth when I am
+toothless, and the coddling comforts of one who has lived too long."
+
+I am not thin-skinned, but his tone shocked me. "Dear boy," I said,
+"they wouldn't look at it in that light. They would be your wife and your
+children."
+
+"Yes," he said, still savagely, "they would be my wife and
+children--supposing your unsupposable case. Grant that my notions are as
+false and monstrous as you think them: a pleasant lot for my wife,
+wouldn't it, to be in constant contact with them? And my children would
+have my blood in them--the taint of eccentricity, perhaps of madness: O,
+I've seen it in your eye. Others would think so too--most, no doubt. No,
+Bob; better let it die out with me."
+
+"Jim, you make me tired. I'll go back to the tavern." I was
+disappointed, and he saw it.
+
+"Don't make yourself wretched about me, old man. Let this thing go--you
+can't mend it. Follow your own doctrine, and take what you find. We have
+the May weather, good legs, and our tackle, and the brooks are full of
+trout. I kill nothing bigger than fish, but if you want a change I'll
+show you where you can have a chance for deer. And for the evenings,
+there are other topics besides ourselves--or rather myself. You can tell
+me about your children; they are likely to be healthier than mine would
+be. Good night, my boy: sound sleep, and no dreams of me."
+
+
+
+
+III.
+
+COMPLICATIONS.
+
+
+After that I found it best to do as Hartman had said. The sport was
+good, but I failed to enjoy it. I suppose I was a fool, for each of us
+makes or mars his own life, and it is no use moping over your neighbor's
+blunders; but I could not get that poor devil out of my mind. He talks
+as well on one subject as on another: it was I, not he, had brought him
+under discussion; but the evenings dragged. Then came a letter from
+home: the distance is considerable, and the mails slow. "Dear Robert,"
+my wife wrote, "I am glad to know you are so comfortable. Keep your
+flannels on, and change your clothing when you have been in the wet. The
+children are well: Herbert fell over the banisters yesterday, but
+fortunately without injury. Bring your friend Mr. H. back with you; he
+seems to be presentable, and evidently all he needs is a little cheering
+feminine society." [Hum: feminine society puts a higher estimate on its
+own powers than I do, then.] "Clarice has returned. You know how
+enterprising she is, not to say wilful, and how fond she is of you. She
+has taken a fancy to try your retreat, and learn to catch trout." [She
+has, eh? Well, let's get on with this.] "Jane will go with her, of
+course: they start on Thursday. Secure rooms for them, and have a
+vehicle to meet them."
+
+Here was a nice situation. To make Mabel easy about me, I had enlarged
+too much on the accommodations here; they are a long way from what she
+supposes. I called the landlord. "Hodge, here are two ladies coming from
+the city. Where can you put them?"
+
+"Wall, I d'no, Square. Ain't much used to city gals. Hope they don't
+bring no sarrytogys. There ain't nothin but your room, an mine, an old
+Poll's, and the gerrit. Me and you might go out in the hayloft like, or
+sleep on the pyazzer if the nights is warm."
+
+While he was maundering on, the whole truth flashed upon me. Why can't
+I see things at once, like Hartman? If I had his sharpness, and he my
+slow common sense, there would be two men fit for this world's
+uses--which neither of us appears to be, as the case stands. I had
+rashly said too much about Jim and his attractions. Mabel is a born
+manager and matchmaker--can't endure to see an eligible man uncaught.
+She has put the girls up to this game: 'cheering feminine society,'
+indeed! My sister Jane is a sensible woman enough, and not much younger
+than I; but Clarice is a beauty with six years' experience, and
+irresistible, some think. 'Enterprising'--well, I should say so: cheeky,
+you might call it. Women do take such stunning liberties nowadays. My
+wife would reprove me for slang; but weaker words fail to express the
+fact, and my feelings about it. I might stand these girls coming up here
+after me--Clarice is a sort of eighth cousin of Mabel's and looks on me
+as a brother. But Jim--no. She must be pining for more worlds to
+conquer, and it would just suit her book to bring a romantic hermit to
+her feet. I should like well enough to see her try it, when I was not
+responsible, but not under present circumstances. Great Caesar! Jim will
+think I have put up this job on him, and never forgive me: nor would I,
+in his place. This field is getting too thick with missionaries.--"Hodge,
+it won't do. Harness your old nag, and drive me to the station. I must
+telegraph. And while I'm there, I may as well put for home. We can catch
+the night train if you hurry."
+
+"Wall, Square, I don't cotton to suddint changes: like to move when I
+git a good ready. Ye put a man off his base, Darn--."
+
+I checked his incipient profanity. "My friend, whether you like it or
+not is in this case immaterial. I'll pay you for the time I meant to
+stay, and all you like for the fifteen miles. But be quick, now."
+
+While he was hunting strings for his broken buckboard, I threw my traps
+together, and scratched a line to Jim: called home by sudden press of
+business, I said--and so it was, in a way. It is a long ride, but I had
+enough to think of. At the depot I wired, "Hold the girls. I am coming
+back." As I straightened up from this exercise, there was the old sinner
+grinning malignantly over my shoulder. "Hodge," I said, "not a word
+about the ladies to Mr. Hartman, mind," and I gave him an extra dollar.
+This was another mistake, I suppose.
+
+"Never you mind, Square: tain't me as goes back on my friends." What
+could the old fool be thinking of? I would have given him some more
+cautions, but the train came, and I was off.
+
+You may imagine the reception at home. I tried to take a high hand, but
+what can a man do against three women? "I really think, Robert," said
+Mabel, "that since the girls had set their hearts on this excursion, you
+might have indulged them." "The conceit of men!" cried Clarice; "what
+had our coming to do with Mr. Hartman? Is he lord of the manor, that no
+one may trespass on his demesne?" Jane too turned on me. "It was not
+very kind of you, brother, to prefer a mere acquaintance above your own
+sister, and suspect her motives in order to save his peace, forsooth!" I
+knew it was humbug; but I had to eat no end of humble pie, all the same.
+You may believe me or not--if you are a family man you will, without
+difficulty--but I had to get those women apart, and explain things to
+them one at a time, before I could have peace in the house. My own flesh
+and blood were soon mollified; but Clarice has not forgiven me yet. I
+have been on my knees to her, so to speak--most men do it, and she
+expects it--but it is of no use. "My dear Clarice," said I, "you know I
+would do anything in the world for you." "Yes," said she contemptuously,
+"I've just had experience of it." "But you don't know Hartman." "Then
+why couldn't you let me know him?" "But it wouldn't have done, under
+these circumstances. He--I--." "Unhappy man," she said, with her tragedy
+queen air, "is it possible you imagined that you were a better judge of
+the proprieties than I?" And that's the way it goes. I am coming to
+believe Hartman was right about the fate of philanthropic efforts, at
+least.
+
+In the midst of all this came a note from Jim himself. "Dear Bob, I
+enclose something which Hodge says you left behind." [O thrice-accursed
+idiot, did I leave Mabel's letter lying around loose?] "Of course I have
+not looked into it, but I fear he has." [You may bet on that: the only
+chance was that he could not read her fine Italian hand.] "He says one
+of your children fell down stairs: I trust the results were not serious.
+Sorry you left in such haste, and hindered the ladies from coming.
+Hodge's quarters are not palatial, but you could bunk with me, as I at
+first proposed; and since they were willing to rough it, we would have
+managed somehow. You could surely rely on my humble aid toward making
+their sojourn in the wilderness endurable. And _per contra_, a little
+cheering feminine society might have assisted your benevolent efforts
+toward my reclamation. Was it not selfish to leave me thus unconsoled
+and unconverted?"
+
+Well, the business is done now, with neatness and dispatch. That beast
+Hodge has told Jim all he knew or suspected, even to that fatal phrase
+of my wife's: so there's an end of his faith in me, and of any chance I
+might have had to set him straight. That was a fortnight ago, and I have
+not the face to answer him. When I have any more doctrinaire anchorites
+to convert, I shall not call a family council. But alas, poor Hartman!
+
+
+
+
+IV.
+
+A WILFUL PRINCESS.
+
+
+I was wrong about Hartman after all. He has written me again, and this
+is what he says:
+
+"Do you want to confirm the heretical opinions you argued against so
+manfully? You had revived my faith in friendship, Bob: I believed, and
+would like still to believe, that one man can be true and kind to
+another. And perhaps in general you had stirred and shaken me up more
+than you knew. Socrates outranks Pyrrho, and I am open to conviction.
+Possibly I have been too sweeping; I don't wish to dogmatize. It may be
+that I have lived alone too long, shut up in a narrow space, where light
+could enter only through my perversely colored glasses. At any rate,
+your coming was like opening a door and letting in a wholesome breeze.
+Have I offended you? I thought I was past asking favors from my kind:
+but do let me hear from you."
+
+Of course I had to answer that, and worse, to show it to the girls. Some
+men, now, would keep it to themselves, and preserve their dignity; but
+such is not my style. Let them crow over me if they must.
+
+They did. "Well, Robert," said Mabel, "you see now how absurdly mistaken
+you were. Perhaps hereafter you will allow us to manage our own affairs,
+and not complicate them with your bungling masculine attempts at
+superior wisdom." "I am glad to know, brother," said Jane, "that your
+friend is a gentleman, incapable of the base suspicions you would have
+attributed to him. You did your best to prevent our knowing him and
+carrying out your ideas for his improvement: now we shall be able to
+meet him cordially, and try to cheer him a little. But probably he is
+not at all as dark as you have painted him."
+
+Clarice would say nothing: she was in one of her high and mighty moods.
+Her soul is like a star, and sits up aloft; sometimes it twinkles, but
+more generally it does not. I often want to tell her that she is a
+creature too bright and good to come to breakfast like other folks; but
+somehow she has a way of keeping people at a distance, and even of
+repressing my pleasantries. We call her the Princess: She has to be
+approached with bated breath, and you must whisper your compliments if
+you want to fire them off at her; rear them as gently as a sucking
+child, in fact--and then they are very seldom appreciated.
+
+"Clarice," I said, "I want to get Hartman down here. Do treat him
+kindly, please; won't you, now?"
+
+She looked at me with her Juno air. "Why should I treat him kindly?"
+
+"O well, I won't say for my sake, because you wouldn't care for that.
+But the poor devil has lived in the woods so long."
+
+"He might have been well enough in his woods; but why should you bring
+your poor devils into civilized society, and expect me to bear with
+their gaucheries, in addition to your own?"
+
+There it is: she'll not forgive me in a year for upsetting her fine plan
+of going up there to beard the hermit in his den. She rarely takes these
+fancies, I must own; and when she does, she is not accustomed to be
+balked of them. As it has turned out, I might as well have let her have
+her way that time; there was no harm in it. "Princess, haven't you
+trampled on me enough? I was wrong, and I'm very sorry: what more can a
+man say? But Hartman had no hand in that."
+
+"Yes, that is clear now, no thanks to you. Small merit in confessing
+after you are proved guilty."
+
+"Well, you are pretty hard on a fellow. But you needn't punish Hartman
+for my fault. Thrash me all you like, but give him a chance. I give you
+my word of honor, Clarice, he is a finished gentleman, and very
+different from me. You needn't fear awkwardness in him. I knew you would
+like him."
+
+"How do _you_ know what I would like? If this Mr. Hartman wants to see a
+little of the world, I have no desire to prevent his being reclaimed
+from barbarism. Mabel and Jane can do that, without my aid. To tell you
+the truth, Robert, I don't care to meet the man, after the disgusting
+complications which you have introduced."
+
+I groaned--I couldn't help it. "Princess, please God, I will never
+interfere with you again. You shall be safe from any meddling of mine.
+If you will kindly say what you want, and say it slow, so that my
+limited faculties can take it in, I will try to act accordingly. But, if
+I may make so bold as to inquire, what are you up to now?"
+
+"I shall go away. O, you need not feel so badly about it, Bob: I am not
+tied to you and Mabel. I was in the South all winter, you know, and only
+returned while you were at your fishing. I have a dozen invitations for
+the summer: I think I will join Constance."
+
+"Not if I can help it, you won't. This is your natural home, Clarice,
+and you shall not be driven from it. Nobody shall enter here who is not
+acceptable to you: if anything about the house don't suit you, name it
+and it shall be corrected. You know Jane and Mabel worship you; so do
+the children, if you count them. I'll not have Hartman; or I can
+entertain him at the club while you are all at Newport."
+
+"That will be hospitality indeed. Would you desert your friend for me?"
+
+"I would not desert you for all the friends under the canopy. You have
+always ruled the house when you deigned to be in it, and you always
+will. I may be low in your books, but it does not follow that you are
+not high in mine. We can't do without you, Princess; you must stay. Name
+your price, and I'll pay it if it breaks me."
+
+"Very well then; I will remain, and meet your Mr. Hartman. But one thing
+must be distinctly understood: there must be no more crossing of my
+will. I must be absolutely free and unhampered, to plan and carry out
+what I see fit. I may possibly be wrong at times; but you will not know
+when, and it is not for you to judge. No more interference or
+opposition, remember. Do the terms suit you?"
+
+"O Lord, yes. I'll have a throne set up in the drawing-room, and
+everybody shall approach you Siamese fashion. And perhaps I had better
+come to you to see if my tie is right before dinner, and to practice
+what I shall say when we have company."
+
+"It might improve you. But Mabel should be competent to attend to those
+trifles. On one point I must instruct you, though. I shall doubtless do
+things that appear to you strange, perverse, incomprehensible. In such
+cases it will be best for you to walk by faith. No meddling nor
+espionage, mind."
+
+"Clarice, you don't think me capable of playing the spy on you?"
+
+"Not that exactly, but you sometimes indulge in little tricks and
+stratagems: you like to think that you hoodwink your wife--not that it
+ever succeeds--in small unimportant matters. Mabel and Jane may endure
+your attempts, if they like; but don't try them on me. They would never
+deceive me for a moment, of course; but I can't waste time in
+explaining that to you in detail. Besides, your fancied success would
+unsettle your mind, and so tend to disturb the domestic equilibrium."
+
+"Good heavens, Clarice! would I lie to you?"
+
+"No: you dare not. But let me have no subterfuges, no concealments, and
+no criticisms. What I may do you cannot expect to understand, nor is it
+necessary that you should."
+
+"Well, thought has been hitherto supposed to be free. When I see you at
+those little games of which you are to enjoy a monopoly, can't I have an
+opinion of them?"
+
+"O yes. The opinion will be of small value, but your poor mind must be
+amused and occupied somehow, I suppose. But you will be carrying your
+opinions about the house, and introducing an element of confusion. If
+you could keep your own counsel, now--but that is hopeless."
+
+"When you are operating on Hartman, for instance, it might confuse the
+programme if I were to say anything to him, eh?"
+
+"When I take Mr. Hartman up, it will be very much better for his welfare
+and yours for you to leave him in my hands."
+
+"O, he would rather be left there, no doubt, though they grind him to
+powder. But what the deuce am I to do? If I mayn't talk to anybody else,
+can't I come to you with my opinions--in odd moments, when your serene
+highness has nothing better on hand?"
+
+"You may bring your valuable ideas to me, and I will hear them, when I
+have leisure and inclination. Yes, that will be best. But no
+concealments, mind. When you think you know anything that affects me,
+come to me with it at once: otherwise you will be blurting it out to
+somebody else. You promise?"
+
+"I swear, by all my hopes of your royal favor. Anything else? I mean,
+has your majesty any further commands? You'll have to give me audience
+about three times a day, you know, to keep me in mind of all these
+rules, or I'll be safe to forget some of them."
+
+"You had better try to remember. I'll keep an eye on you. And now do you
+want any more, or have you learnt your lesson?"
+
+"I'll trust so. Henceforth I shall not call my soul my own. The humblest
+of your slaves craves permission to kiss the royal hand. I say, Clarice,
+you won't be rough on poor Hartman, will you? He's had hard lines: you
+could easily break him to pieces, what is left of him."
+
+"If there is so little left of him, there would be small credit in
+breaking him to pieces, as you elegantly express it. I shall probably
+let him alone."
+
+"Scarcely. There is a good deal left of him yet: he is as handsome a
+fellow, and as fine a fellow, as you'd be apt to find. You're tired of
+the regulation article, dancing man and such, that you meet every night:
+I don't wonder. This is something out of the common. He needs a little
+looking after, too. I wish now I had let you get at him in May, as you
+proposed."
+
+"Robert, if you fling that odious and vulgar figment of your debased
+imagination at me again, I will go away and never come back. You make me
+sick of the man's name. If you ever breathe a hint of this disgusting
+slander to him I will never forgive either of you, nor speak to you."
+
+"God forbid, Princess dear. Don't you know that your good name is as
+sacred to me as Mabel's? Wasn't I to come to you with notions that I
+couldn't put in words to anybody else?"
+
+"Let them have some shadow of reason and decency about them, then.
+Cannot a girl plan a rural excursion, in company with your sister and
+under your escort, without being accused of designs on a strange man who
+chances to be in the neighborhood? You try my patience sorely, Robert. I
+wonder how Mabel can endure you."
+
+"Well, he that is down can't fall any lower, as it says in Pilgrim's
+Progress. Walk over me some more, and then maybe you'll feel better.
+What the d--There, I'm at it again. Clarice, it might improve me if you
+would mix a little kindness with your corrections; handle me as if you
+loved me, like the old fisherman with his worms, you know. It
+discourages a fellow to get all kicks and no kisses."
+
+"Robert, look me in the eye and swear to purge your mind of that vile
+thought, and never to admit another that dishonors me."
+
+"O, I swear it. Bring me the Thirty-nine Articles and the Westminster
+Catechism and the Ten Tables, and I'll subscribe to all of 'em. I'll
+think anything you tell me to: I signed my soul away an hour ago." Here
+I saw that I had gone too far, and she was really angry. She's right; I
+must learn to check my confounded tongue, if I am to keep on any terms
+with the Princess. So I changed my tune, just in time. "Don't go,
+Clarice. Honestly, I beg your pardon; upon my soul, I do. Your word is
+all the evidence I want of any fact under heaven, of course. Princess
+dear, I've been fond of you since you were a baby, and it has grown with
+your growth--it has, really. I'll prove it some day: you wait and see.
+Forgive me this once, won't you? Don't speak, if you are tired, but just
+give me your hand, as they did in the Old Testament, in token of
+forgiveness."
+
+She gave it. I am not good at descriptions, but a man might go barefoot
+and fasting for a week, and be paid by touching such a hand as that. The
+queer thing is that I've known Clarice for over twenty years--I told you
+she had been in society for six--and practically lived with her most of
+that time, and yet she grows more surprising every day. It seems to be
+generally supposed that familiarity breeds contempt in such cases; that
+sisters, and wives, and the like, get to be an old story to the men who
+belong to them. Clarice is not that kind: possibly I am not. To be sure,
+she is neither my wife nor any blood relation; but I don't see that that
+makes any difference. They took out a patent for her up above, and
+reserved all rights, with no power of duplication. She might care for me
+a little more; but then I don't suppose I've ever given her any reason
+to. I am well enough in my way, but I'm not such an original and
+striking specimen of my 'sect' as she is of hers--not by a long shot.
+She was exhausted now, and that is how I got a chance to put in all this
+wisdom just here. I might talk to Mabel for a week, and it would produce
+no effect: but a little thing upsets the Princess, her organization is
+so delicate and sensitive. She is all alive and on fire, or else languid
+and disdainful: she can't take life easily, as people of coarser grain
+do, like me. Her brain weighs too much and works too hard; that uses her
+up. I don't doubt she has a heart to match; but it has never yet waked
+up to any great extent, so far as I have seen or heard. No matter;
+people will care for you all the same, Beauty, whether you care for them
+or not. Don't fancy that I am the only one--far from it: but I have the
+luck to be her adopted brother from infancy, and to have access to her
+when others have not. She is not always kind--very seldom, in fact, up
+to date: but it is a privilege to look at her, and any treatment from
+her is good enough for me. She used to tyrannize over me in this way
+when she was ten and I twenty, and so it will be, no doubt, to the end
+of the chapter. Outside, I sometimes take on a man-of-the-world air, and
+fancy that I can think of you lightly, my Princess--that is the correct
+society tone, and it does not pay to display the finer feelings of our
+nature to the general world: but when I come under the spell of your
+presence, I know that that is all humbug, and that you are Fair Inez of
+the ballad, God bless you. You and Hartman ought to get on together: it
+might be a good thing for you both--him especially. Mabel and Jane are
+women too, but they are as devoted to you as I am, according to their
+lights, and more jealous for you: jealousy seems to be no part of me,
+luckily. Well, between us we ought to be able to keep all harm from you,
+if you will let us.
+
+Of course I didn't say all this out loud, but only thought it. Then she
+opened her eyes and yawned a little.
+
+"Have I been asleep, Bob? I must have been: you tired me so. O yes, I
+know you think a good deal of me: that is an old story. Well, anything
+more?"
+
+"Only about poor Hartman, dear: you didn't promise yet."
+
+"Well, when he comes I will look him over and see what is to be done
+with him. I must go upstairs and dress now." And with this I had to be
+content.
+
+This conversation occurred of a Sunday afternoon, when Mabel and Jane
+had gone to Church, and taken Herbert with them: the infants were out
+for an airing with their nurse. Fortunately there was a long missionary
+sermon, and a big collection, to which I must send five dollars extra:
+the occasion was worth that much to me. As the Princess left the room,
+they came in. They looked at her, then at me. "What have you been doing
+to Clarice, Robert?"
+
+"Only preparing her to receive Hartman."
+
+"Preparing her! you great goose, what does she want with your
+preparation? You'll only prejudice her against him, and spoil any
+chances he might have. Let her alone, do. Haven't you made mischief
+enough between them already?"
+
+That is all they know about it. Churchgoing sometimes fails to bring the
+female mind into a proper frame. But you see they are ready to scratch
+out even my eyes at the thought that I have been rubbing her down the
+wrong way. No matter: I know what I know, and they need not try to make
+me believe that these things will go right without proper management.
+
+
+
+
+V.
+
+CONSULTATION.
+
+
+We usually go to Newport for the summer. As Mrs. Fishhawk says, the
+bathing is so fine, and the cliffs are such a safe place for children to
+play. Not that we care so much for the society: the Princess has seen
+the vanity of that and been bored with it, and the rest of us are very
+domestic people. After much persuasion through the mail, Hartman agreed
+to join us there: I was to pick him up in New York and take him down. A
+night or two before this, Clarice took me out on the aforesaid cliffs,
+which afford a fine walk in the moonlight with the right kind of
+company, but somewhat dangerous if you get spoony and forget to look
+where you are going. The Princess, it is needless to say, never commits
+this folly: she always has her wits about her, and wits of a high order
+they are, as not a few men have found to their cost, myself
+included,--many and many a time. She opened the ball.
+
+"Robert, do you remember our compact?"
+
+"I'm not likely to forget it. Your words are my law, more sacred and
+peremptory than the Ten Commandments, or those of the old codger who
+wrote 'em in blood because his ink had given out. As a servant looks to
+the hand of his mistress, so am I to watch your dark blue eye for
+direction and approval. Deign to cast a sweet smile, however faint, in
+this direction occasionally: it won't cost you much, and will encourage
+me. If the devotion of a lifetime--"
+
+"Yes, I know all that: at least you've said it often enough. Now you
+will have an opportunity to put it in practice. Drop generalities, and
+come to business."
+
+"My heart's queen, I am all attention. Speak, and thy slave obeys. Bid
+me leap from yon beetling crag into the billows' angry roar--"
+
+"Will you stop that, or shall I go into the house? We are not rehearsing
+private theatricals now."
+
+"Ah, indeed? I thought we might be. I expect to see some next week."
+
+"You will see my place at table vacant if you don't keep quiet, and
+listen to what I have to say. I can join Constance yet. You talk about
+your affection for me and anxiety to serve me, and when I want something
+definite of you, you go off into the Byronic, or the Platonic, or what
+you would perhaps call the humorous: it is not easy to discriminate
+them. Once for all, will you do as I bid you, or not?"
+
+When the Princess wants to bring a man to book, he has to come there,
+and stay there till he sees a favorable opening for a break: there was
+none such just now. So I called in the white-winged coursers of my too
+exuberant fancy, locked them up in the barn, begged the lady's pardon as
+usual, and composed myself into an attitude of respectful and devout
+attention, as if I were in church. It was not long after dinner: I
+wanted to have some more fun, but that did not seem to be just the time
+and place for it. My preceptress eyed me sternly, and waxed anew the
+thread of her discourse.
+
+"I told you that my actions might appear strange to your ignorance. I
+will tell you now what my plan is, so far as is necessary for your
+guidance: then perhaps you will have sense enough not to go gaping
+about, but to fall into line and do what is required of you. I have
+determined to see very little of this Mr. Hartman--"
+
+"O now, Clarice! After you promised! I relied on you--"
+
+"Be still, stupid, and hear me out. I shall see but little of him at
+first. You have made such an ado about the man, I am disposed to be
+interested in him, for your sake. There, that will do; let my hand
+be."--I was merely pressing it a little, I assure you, to testify my
+gratitude for this unusual consideration: I don't know when she ever
+owned to doing a thing for my sake before. "For your sake first, you
+great baby, and then, if he is worth it, for his own. But at the start,
+as I told you, I must look him over; and that I can do best at a little
+distance."
+
+"And then you mean to take him in and do for him? You can, of course;
+but, Princess dear, be merciful--for my sake first, and then, if he is
+worth it, for his own. Don't grind him up too fine: leave pieces of him
+big enough to be recognized and collected by his weeping friends."
+
+"Robert, you really ought to try to restrain your native coarseness.
+What can a man like you know of the motives and intentions of a woman
+like me? Poor child, if I were to put them before you in the plainest
+terms the facts and the dictionary allow, you could not understand
+them."
+
+As a quartz-crusher the Princess could have won fame and fortune. I hope
+she may not pulverize Hartman as effectually as she does me: he might
+not take it so kindly. To eliminate the metaphor, she is a master at the
+wholesome process of taking a man down: not that I don't often deserve
+it, or that it is not good for me. In fact, I've given her occasion,
+from her youth up, to get her hand in; and admiration of her skill binds
+up the wounds, so to speak, with which my whole moral nature is scarred
+at least sixteen deep. In case you should not follow my imaginative
+style, let me say in simpler language that I am used to it; but another
+man might not understand it. I consumed some more humble pie--these
+desserts occur frequently in the symposia of our conversations--and she
+resumed.
+
+"So I will leave him to Jane at first. She will be very sisterly and
+gracious, and will make the first stages of his return to the world easy
+and pleasant. This may last two days, or two weeks."
+
+"O, don't overdo it. He talked of staying but a week or ten days."
+
+"Dear Robert, you are so innocent. He will stay as long as I want him
+to."
+
+"What, whether you notice him or not?"
+
+"Of course. Are you six years old? Have you never seen me in action
+before?"
+
+"Body of Venus and soul of Sappho, I give it up. Of course you can do
+anything you like, but I never realized that you could do it without
+seeming to take a hand in the game. I strew ashes on my head like
+what's-his-name, and sit down in the dust at your feet. Forgive a
+penitent devotee for forming such lame and inadequate conceptions of
+your power. But what part do you want me to dress for in this improving
+moral drama?"
+
+"Your part is very simple. Of course I must be occupied. I should hardly
+shine as a wall-flower."
+
+"You would shine anywhere. If you were a violet by an old stone, you
+couldn't be half or a quarter hidden from the eye. But the supposition
+is impossible. If you were free, no other girl in the room would have a
+chance."
+
+"That is very passable, though not wholly new. You are improving, Bob.
+If you would give your mind to it, I could mould you into tolerable
+manners yet.--Well, I might get plenty of men from the houses around.
+But they are tiresome--staler than you, my Robert, though I see less of
+them--and I can't take the same liberties with them I do with you. You
+are to belong to me as long as I may want you."
+
+"That is not new at all, Princess. It has been so for years. Everybody
+about the house knows that, even the servants--and all our friends."
+
+"Yes, of course. But I am to make special use of my property for the
+next few days. You will have to be in constant attendance. You ought to
+enjoy the prospect, and the reality when it comes."
+
+"I do; I shall: bet your boots on that. O confound it, I've got my lines
+mixed already."
+
+"Rather. If you startle the audience with such a speech as that, what
+will Mr. Hartman think? You must put on your prettiest behavior, Bob.
+Make a desperate effort, and try to keep it up--for my sake, now."
+
+"For your sake I can be Bayard and Crichton and Brummell and all those
+dudes rolled into one. I'll order some new clothes when I go down. And
+you will have to be very gracious to me, you know."
+
+"Am I not gracious enough now, pet? How is this for a rehearsal?"
+
+"Beyond my wildest dreams, Empress. When you treat me thus for an hour,
+I can bear your ill usage for a year."
+
+"There will be no ill usage at present, if you behave. Now don't forget,
+and spoil the play. Understand, you are to pair off with me, as Mr.
+Hartman with Jane. Mabel is mostly occupied with the children; we will
+all look after her, of course. And there will be mixing and change of
+partners, but not much. You must watch, and obey my slightest hint--the
+turn of an eyelid, the flutter of a fan. I'll teach you all that."
+
+"I know a lot of it already: when it comes to watching you, I am a
+dabster. I'll behave as if I was at school to Plato and Confucius, and
+in training to succeed them both. Do you know, Princess, if you were to
+treat a stranger for half a day as you are treating me now, he would
+want to die for you?"
+
+"He might die for want of me before the day was over, if he grew
+lackadaisical over his wants. All men are not so chivalrous as you, my
+poor Robert. You may have to do that sort of dying before long. You must
+be ready to be dropped when the time comes to change the figures. No
+growling or moping, mind: you must submit sweetly, and take your place
+in the background with Jane, while the rest of the play goes on."
+
+"I know: I've been there before. I can find consolation in seeing you
+carry the leading part. One set of men passes away, and another set
+comes on; but the Princess goes on conquering, regardless of the moans
+of her victims as they writhe on the bloody battlefield. O, I'm used to
+being shoved aside, and feeding on my woes in silent patience. The
+flowret fades when day is done, and so does every mother's son Who
+thinks his course is just begun, And knows not that his race is run--How
+does it go on, Clarice? I forget the rest of it."
+
+"It is a pity you didn't forget the whole of it. I would if I were you,
+and quickly, lest you horrify some one else with it. You are too big to
+pose as a flowret, Bob."
+
+"Polestar of my faith, see here. I'll have to be around with Hartman,
+smoking and so on, nights, after you and the rest have turned in, and
+often in the daylight. You and Jane can't attend to his case in person
+all the time, you know, and I'm his host. What shall I say about you?"
+
+"Anything you like. Praise me to the skies, of course. That will be in
+keeping with your part as my cavalier; and he will see how things are
+between us--on your side, I mean. Tell him about my few faults, if you
+can bring yourself to mention them. Yes, you must; they will set off my
+many virtues. Be perfectly natural about it: you have known and
+cherished me from infancy, and so forth. Not a word, of course, about
+our compact, and these rehearsals, and my coaching you--O you great
+booby, were you capable of blurting that out? If you do, you'll spoil
+all, and I'll never forgive you. Remember now: you profess to dread my
+anger, and you have reason; you've felt it before. If you want me ever
+to trust you again, keep to yourself what is between us; regard it as
+sacred. O, I know you profess to look at all that belongs to me in that
+light; but show your faith by your works. Swear it to me now."
+
+I swore. That is a ceremony which has to be gone through rather
+frequently with the Princess, and somehow I don't mind it. But how the
+deuce is one to remember all these rules and regulations? I'll have to
+get Clarice to write them out for me, by chapter and verse, with big
+headings; then I'll get the thing printed, and carry it about with me,
+and study it nights and mornings. But Mabel might find it in my clothes:
+she is welcome to my secrets, but this is not mine. I might have it
+printed in cipher; but then I should be sure to lose the key. O,
+confound it all, I'll have to chance it: I'll be sure to slip up
+somewhere, and then there'll be a row. Well, why borrow trouble? Let's
+gather the flowers while we may: only there are none just here, and it
+is too dark to find them. Then a thought suddenly struck me: why not
+head off the difficulty by improving my position beforehand? "Princess
+dearest, do you like me better than you used to, or is this only part
+of the play, the excitement of practicing for a newcomer? Tell me,
+please--there's a dear."
+
+We were near the house now, and she darted away from me. "If you tells
+me no questions, I asks you no lies," she sang gaily as she ran in. O
+shades of Juliet and Cleopatra, what a woman that is--or what an idiot I
+am: I can't be sure which till I get an outside opinion. I'd give odds
+that within a fortnight Hartman will be far gone. It will be life or
+death for him, poor old man. But he's nigh dead now, inwardly speaking,
+and so has not much to lose. Anyway, he'll see that a world with Clarice
+in it is not as blank and chilly as he thinks it now--not by several
+thousand degrees. I fancy his thermometer will begin to go up pretty
+soon. He needs shaking up and turning inside out and upside down--a
+general ventilating, in fact, and I rather think Miss Elliston will
+administer it to him.
+
+
+
+
+VI.
+
+PREPARATION.
+
+
+I was mighty glad that Clarice felt this way about Hartman's coming; she
+has not waked up so, or come down from her Olympian clouds of
+indifference, in a long time. But still I thought it best to go around
+and make some more preparations. When I have a secret to carry, it
+oppresses my frank and open nature more than you would think; and I find
+that I can conceal it best by inquiring concerning the matter of it of
+persons who know nothing about it. Naturally I began with the head of
+the house. That is myself, I suppose, nominally; but every decent man
+allows his wife to fill the position, and get what comfort she can out
+of it.
+
+"Mabel," I said, "I hope that Hartman will enjoy himself here."
+
+"You told us he was not given to enjoying himself; on the contrary,
+quite the reverse. No doubt he will take us as he finds us. He will
+hardly want to go out to dinner every day, and meet the Vanderdeck's and
+the foreign princess."
+
+"But, Mabel, I trust you are all prepared to meet him in the right
+spirit."
+
+"What absurd questions you ask, Robert. You talk as if he were a bishop,
+come to convert us: I thought we were to convert him. I hope I do not
+need to be instructed how to receive my husband's friends. And Jane is
+ready to take an interest in him: she can be very nice, you know."
+
+"And Clarice: will she do her part?"
+
+"Nobody knows what Clarice will do on any occasion. She would be more
+apt to do what you wish if you would not trouble her about Mr. Hartman.
+We are not three little maids from school, to be taught our manners. Why
+can you not learn that matters would move just as well, yes, and better,
+without your continual interference, dear? Your blunders only complicate
+them, and disturb the harmony."
+
+Now that is a nice way for the wife of one's bosom to talk, isn't it?
+How often, O how often, would I remove the clouds of care from her
+placid brow, and smooth her path through life by graceful persiflage and
+appropriate witticisms: but she does not seem to appreciate them. I fear
+she must have had some Scottish ancestors. Sometimes I think she does
+not appreciate _me_. It is a cold world; a cold, heartless, unfeeling,
+unresponsive world, in which the sensitive spirit may fly around
+promiscuously like Noah's dove, and have to stay out in a low
+temperature. Wisely and beneficently is it arranged that Virtue should
+be her own reward, since she gets no other. I will try Jane next.
+
+"My dear sister, you know I go to town to-night, and expect to bring
+Hartman back. You will receive him kindly, for my sake, will you not?"
+
+Jane is a little prim at times, and I have to arrange my sentences
+carefully, when I am with her.
+
+"I will do that, of course: why so many words about it? Have you not
+been preparing me, and all of us, for this visit, for the last month? We
+know what is right, Robert: _your_ behavior is the only doubtful part."
+
+"But Clarice, sister? She is always so doubtful, as Mabel says; so
+capricious, so haughty, so unapproachable. You have great influence with
+her. Dear Jane, can you not persuade her to treat my poor friend
+kindly?"
+
+"Now, brother, why will you be such an unconscionable humbug? We all
+know that you are in her confidence, when any one is. What were you two
+talking about all last evening? Hatching some plot, no doubt. But it was
+not intended to be practiced on me--not on her part; that is your
+unauthorized addition to her text." And the maiden assumed the part of
+Pallas, and gazed at me with severity, as if she would read my inmost
+soul. But she can't beat Clarice at that. See here, young lady, you are
+too sharp; you are getting dangerously near the truth. I came near
+saying this out, but did not. Instead I took an injured tone.
+
+"You are a pretty sister, Jane, to go about suspecting me this way, and
+accusing me of intrigue and hypocrisy, and all kinds of black-hearted
+wickedness. What would I want to deceive you for? You know we all have
+to consider Clarice, and humor her: she is an orphan, and we are her
+nearest friends. She amuses herself with me sometimes, for want of
+another man at hand, and then throws me aside when the fit is over."
+
+"O yes, we all know that, of course. Well, brother, you can go to town
+with an easy mind. Leave Mr. Hartman to Clarice and me; when she is not
+in the humor to attend to him, I will."
+
+Now how does Jane come to know so much? Has the Princess been taking her
+into the plan too, as well as me? That I don't believe. Clarice would
+expect Jane to take her cue by intuition, and not bother to coach her as
+she has me: perhaps she can trust Jane farther. That must be it: one
+woman can see into another's mind where a man couldn't. I must put a
+mark on that for future reference. They do beat us at some minor points.
+Well, I didn't exactly get the best of that encounter: it seems to me I
+owe Jane one, which I must try and remember to pay.
+
+
+
+
+VII.
+
+INITIATION.
+
+
+Hartman arrived on schedule time, and was duly taken home with me. "Old
+man," I said, "welcome back to the amenities of life; to the tender
+charities of man and woman; to the ties, too long neglected, which bind
+your being to the world's glad heart. You are the prodigal returning
+from sowing his wild oats in the backwoods: the fatted calf shall be
+killed for you, in moderation, as per contract, and the home brewed ale
+drawn mild. We are quiet people, and live mostly by ourselves: that will
+suit your book. The giddy crowd, in its frivolous pursuit of amusement
+and fashion, surges by in the immediate vicinity, and old Ocean, in his
+storm-tost fury, dashes his restless waves upon our good back door, or
+adjacent thereto. But we give small heed to either one of them. The sea
+views and feminine costumes are supposed to be of the highest order,
+and there is polo at stated intervals, if you care for such; but these
+vanities have little to do with the calm current of our daily life. You
+will shortly have in front of you a christian family, united in bonds of
+long-tried affection and confidence. The earthly paradise, James, must
+be sought in the peaceful bosom of one's Home. After tossing on the
+angry billows of Water Street, how sweet to return to this haven of
+rest! And you too, world-worn and weary man of woes, shall receive
+attention. The furrows of care shall be smoothed out of your manly brow:
+gentle hands will bind up your wounds--even the one you got from that
+girl a dozen years ago, if it isn't healed yet. The shadows of gloomy
+and soul-debasing Theory will flit away from your bewildered brain, and
+in this healthful atmosphere your spirit will regain its long-lost tone,
+and embrace once more the ethereal images of Hope and Joy and Faith.
+Probably you will yet find some one to love in this wide world of
+sorrow; anyway, we hope to send you forth clothed and in your right
+mind."
+
+"I hope I'm properly clothed now, or will be with what I've got in my
+trunk; and I need to be in my right mind to take in all this eloquence.
+I was mistaken about you, Bob; you should have been a preacher. The only
+drawback is, you don't stick to one key long enough: these sudden
+changes in your woodnotes wild might confuse a congregation."
+
+"The church lacks vivacity and sense of humor, Jim: she's all for a dull
+monotone. Old Fuller is dead: his mantle descended on me, but they don't
+appreciate that style nowadays. To return to our topic, and deal with
+the duty that lies nearest. In an humble and pottering way, we are a
+happy family, James. We envy not the rich and great: seek elsewhere
+their gilded saloons, and tinsel trappings of pride; but you will find
+things pretty comfortable. I regret to say we'll have to do our smoking
+out of doors; but it is generally warm enough for that. If we are noted
+for anything, it is for modest contentment, unassuming virtue, and
+cheerful candor--just as you see them in me. Each face reflects the
+genuine emotions and guileless innocence of the heart connected
+therewith; more than that, they reflect one another, as in a glass. You
+can look at Mabel, and see all that is passing in my capacious bosom. We
+share each other's woes, each other's burdens bear, and if we don't drop
+the sympathizing tear frequently, it is because there is very seldom any
+call for it. We have no secrets from one another: limpid and pure flows
+the confidential stream--but it flows no further than the fence. You can
+say what you like to any of us, and it will not go out of the
+house--unless the servants overhear it; you'll have to look out for
+that, of course."
+
+"See here, Bob; judging by you, I had no idea I was coming among such
+apostolic manners, or I'd have taken a course of A Kempis. Are there any
+prayer-meetings near by, where I can go to freshen up?"
+
+"Within a mile or two, no doubt. Jane can tell you about them; she can
+lend you a prayer-book, anyway. But I was not meaning to discourage you:
+they will make allowances. My wife is an exemplary woman; if you want to
+get on with her, you'll have to take an interest in Herbert's bruises
+when he falls over the banisters. He is the only one of the children who
+will trouble you much; the others are small yet, happily. My sister is a
+pattern of propriety, but of rather an inquiring mind, and sympathetic
+if you take her the right way: she can talk with you about philosophy
+and science and your dried-up old doxies. Not that she knows anything
+about Schopenhauer, and Darwin, and Diogenes, of course; but she's heard
+their names, and she'll pretend to be posted--you know how women are.
+And when you need a mental tonic--the companionship of a robust
+intellect, the stimulus of wide acquaintance with the great world of men
+and things, a manly comprehension of any difficulties that you may meet,
+or sound and wise advice how to steer your way through the pitfalls and
+intricacies of the female character--in such cases, which will no doubt
+often arise, you have only to come to me. I know all about these
+matters, of which you have had no experience. I'll be at home as much as
+possible while you are there, and I'll stand by you, Jim."
+
+"Thanks, awfully--as I believe they say where we are going. Yes, you
+will be an invaluable mentor, Bob. Well, I'll try not to disgrace you.
+It is late: let us turn in."
+
+This important conversation took place on the boat. You see, when I was
+with Hartman in May, he took the lead; but in my own house, or on the
+way to it, I like to be cock of the walk. Besides, as I had prepared the
+women for his coming, so now it was necessary to prepare his mind to
+meet them. In my picture of our domestic felicity, I may have laid on
+some tints too heavily, as about our mutual confidence. But he will soon
+see how that is. You may notice that I said nothing about the Princess.
+There was a deep design in that omission. When the orb of day in all his
+glory bursts from his liquid bed upon the astonished gaze of some lonely
+wanderer on the Andes, or the Alps,--or our own Rockies, say,--the
+spectacle is all the more effective if the wanderer was not expecting
+anything of the kind; didn't suppose it was time yet, or, still better,
+didn't know there was any sun. That is the way Jim will feel when he
+sees Clarice. If he has forgotten about her wanting to go up there in
+the woods in May, O. K.; that will meet her views, and he'll be reminded
+of her existence soon enough.
+
+This is one of those delicate ideas which might not occur to the male
+mind unassisted: in fact, left to my native nothingness, I should
+probably have enlarged on her charms most of the evening. But she laid
+special stress on this point, that I was to say as little as possible
+about her beforehand, and fortunately I remembered it. Hartman thinks he
+is going to have a safe and easy time with me and two highly respectable
+ladies of sedate minds and settled habits. Sleep on, deluded James,
+while I finish my cigar here on deck: dream of the forest and the trout
+brooks, and your neighbor Hodge and your old tomcat. By to-morrow night
+your mental horizon will be enlarged, and when you return to your castle
+in the wilderness there will be some new sensations tugging at your
+vitals. It will be a change for you, old man, and you needed one. Well,
+I've given you enough to think of for now, and you'll get more before
+you are a week older. I hope he will come through it right: it is like
+taking one's friend to the surgeon to undergo an operation, when he
+doesn't know that anything ails him or is going to be done. Poor old
+Jim, I wouldn't have put up such a job on you if I didn't believe it was
+for your good. I am not a pessimist like you: I believe in God and the
+Princess.
+
+
+
+
+VIII.
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+
+The drive from the wharf is too long: I often think that the older part
+of the town ought to be submerged, or removed to one of the adjacent
+islands. We met the family at breakfast, and I said, "Ladies, you see
+before you a wild man of the woods, brought hither to be subdued and
+civilized by your gentle ministrations. By the way, Mabel, there was a
+corner in oil yesterday. I made fourteen thousand, and Simpkins went
+under; so you can have that new gown now." They paid no attention
+whatever to these pleasantries. Clarice was not there, or the sparkling
+fount of humor would have flowed less freely.
+
+Hartman has very good manners when he chooses, and in my house he would
+naturally choose; so he got on well enough. The children took to him at
+once, and he seemed to take to them. After breakfast I led him out for a
+walk, to show him the points of interest. Several very creditable
+cottages have been put up since he was here last: in fact, this is quite
+a growing place, for the country. As we went back he suddenly said,
+"Bob, who is this Clarice that your sister mentioned at the table? Fancy
+name, isn't it?"
+
+"O no," I said as indifferently as I could. He ought not to go springing
+her on me in that way: it makes a man nervous. "She's an orphan; a sort
+of cousin of Mrs. T. Got no brothers or sisters, and all that sort of
+thing; so we look after her a good deal. Sometimes she's with us,
+sometimes she's not. Was south all winter: got back while I was up there
+with you."
+
+Now what the deuce did I say that for? It'll brush up his rusty mental
+machinery, and help him to recall what she wants forgotten. Just so; of
+course.
+
+"Yes, I remember. She thought of joining you with Miss Jane. I wish you
+had let them come."
+
+"Well, you see, you don't know what these girls are used to; I do. There
+were no fit quarters for them at Hodge's. I had gone and written my wife
+a lot of rot, pretending his place was much better than it is."
+
+"With your usual unassuming virtue and cheerful candor; yes. We have no
+secrets from one another: the limpid stream of confidence flows
+unchecked and unpolluted. Just so. But see here, you old hypocrite, if
+there is another young woman in the family, you ought to have told me
+about her last night, when you were preparing my mind, you know, and
+pretending to explain the whole domestic situation.--Great heavens,
+who's that?"
+
+We had turned a corner, and come plump on the house; and there on the
+piazza, two rods away, sat a rare and radiant maiden, playing cat's
+cradle with my eldest son and heir. I can't tell you how she was
+dressed; but she was a phantom of delight when thus she broke upon our
+sight; a lovely apparition, sent to be Jim Hartman's blandishment. At
+least so it seemed, for he stood there and stared like a noble savage.
+As when the lightning descends on the giant oak in its primeval
+solitude--but I must stop this; she is too near, though she pretends not
+to see us yet. So I whispered in low and warning tones:
+
+"Brace up, Jim. She's not the one you met here twelve years ago, who
+jilted you at Naples: this one wasn't out of her Fourth Reader then.
+Don't get them mixed, or be deceived by a chance resemblance." I thought
+it was better to lay his embarrassment on that old affair, you see. But
+that was all nonsense: he never saw anybody like Clarice before--how
+should he?
+
+"Confound you, Bob," he muttered between his teeth, "so you've been
+practising your openhearted innocence on me. Get on with it now, and
+finish it up."
+
+He pulled himself together, and I went through the introduction with due
+decorum; then I got away as soon as I could. You see, I was unmanned by
+the spectacle of so much young emotion, and somewhat exhausted by my own
+recent exertions. I found a cool corner in the library; and presently
+Jane had to come in. "What is the matter with you, Robert? Why do you
+sit there grinning like an idiot?" Perhaps a smile of benevolence had
+overspread my striking countenance; and that's the way she distorts it.
+I could not tell her what pleased me, so I said I had been reading a
+comic paper. "You write your own comic papers, I suspect; and bad enough
+they are. If you go on at this rate, you will end by editing the _Texas
+Siftings_. Do try to be decent, brother, while you have a guest in the
+house." I suppose she thinks that is a crushing rebuke, now. I said I
+would try, and told her she had better join Clarice and Hartman, who
+would probably be tired of each other by this time. Here again I have
+played into the Princess' hands. She doesn't want Jim to see too much of
+her at first, but to get used to the blinding glare by degrees, and take
+his physic in small doses, until he can bear it in larger. At least I
+hope so: if I've made a mistake and spoiled the procession, I'll learn
+it soon enough. But Jane wouldn't go unless it was right: that's the
+good of being a woman. You don't catch me interrupting them, or going
+near the Princess when she has any of her procedures on foot, unless I
+am called.
+
+
+
+
+IX.
+
+AT NEWPORT.
+
+
+I could not tell you all that occurred that week; but it went exactly as
+Clarice intended and had foretold. She was gracious and equable and
+gentle, a model young lady of the social-domestic type; but Hartman did
+not see much of her. I on my part was kept steadily occupied, what with
+boats, and horses, and parasols, and fans, and wools, and wide hats, and
+more things than you could think of. It was, "Robert, come out on the
+cliffs," or "Robert, get my garden gloves, please; they are in the
+sitting-room, or somewhere else;" or "Robert, take me to town; I must
+telegraph to Constance;" or "Bob dear, would you mind running over to
+Miss Bliffson's, and telling her that I can't go to the Society this
+afternoon; and on your way back, stop at the milliner's and see if my
+hat is done." I usually attended to these commissions promptly; when you
+have women about, your generous heart will rejoice to protect and
+indulge their helplessness. They are the clinging vine, you are the
+sturdy oak; and then, as I said, Clarice is an orphan. Hartman at first
+showed an inclination to relieve me of the lighter part of these useful
+avocations, such as taking her about over the rocks and in the bay; but
+she very quietly, and without the least discourtesy, made him understand
+that no foreigners need apply for that situation. Other men were coming
+after her every day, but she avoided them or sent them to the right
+about: she can do that in a way to make you feel that you have received
+a favor. She kept reminding me that it was my business to wait on her:
+if these things were paid for in cash, I should want high wages, for
+the duties are far from light. But I can stand it: within the bosom of
+Robert T. glows a spark of warm and pure philanthropy. When I see my
+fellow-creatures in need, and this good right arm refuses to extend its
+friendly aid, may my hand cleave to the roof of my mouth--O well, you
+know what I mean. I used to retire to my meagre and philosophic
+cot-bedstead with aching limbs and an approving conscience: I never was
+worked so hard before. Some of these errands were perfectly needless, I
+knew. She can't want to get me out of the way for an hour or two, for I
+am never _in_ the way; nor simply to show what she can do, for that is
+an old story, familiar to all concerned. Doubtless she has some high
+moral end in view; perhaps to teach Hartman what are the true relations
+of man and woman, and how the nobler animal can be trained to be a
+helpmeet and boy-of-all-work to the weaker. Whether this will suit his
+views I doubt; but she knows what she is about. It is mine not to
+question why, mine not to make reply, mine simply to go on doing what my
+hand finds to do--of which there is quite enough at present. Meanwhile,
+everybody else is having a nice easy time, while I am laboring like six
+dray-horses for the general good. Hartman sits about with Jane, and they
+seem to be getting on finely. Mabel also appears to enjoy his society.
+Sometimes she looks at me and at Clarice, and then at Jim, in a way
+which might indicate a notion that things are too much mixed, and that
+the Princess ought to be giving her attention to Hartman's case. I think
+so too, but it is not for me to suggest it. I feel like asking Mrs. T.
+what all these complications mean, and why she does not straighten them
+out: she is Clarice's relative and hostess, and head of the house when I
+am away. But it will straighten itself pretty soon now, and a new tangle
+will begin for the predestined victim. Wild man of the woods, your hour
+will soon strike, and the grim executioner in the black mask will
+prepare to take your head off. You will see a hand not clearly visible
+to the outside world--a very beautiful hand it is too, as I ought to
+know--that will beckon you to your doom: you will hear a voice whose
+silvery music will drown all fears, all scruples, all world-sick
+longings for your woman-hating moods, all memories of your lost Lenore
+of long ago, and tell you that resistance and delay are vain. What the
+details of the process may be, and whether joy or woe will tip the
+scales for one who takes things as seriously as you do, I cannot tell;
+but it is coming, and it is coming presently. You may not like it: you
+are not used to it as I am; but you cannot help yourself. Farewell to
+the old life, the old delusions, the old fancied knowledge: you will
+find yourself a small boy in primary school, beginning the world anew.
+You think you are locked up in steel, defended by your indifference,
+your disgust, your unbelief in Life. These glittering generalities will
+fall into dust before the wand of a magician who has some eminently
+particular business with you. You have sounded the depths, and found
+them shallow; you have tested values, and they are less than nothing,
+and vanity; you have emptied the pincushion, and only bran is there. My
+skeptical friend, a sharp needle is there yet, and it will prick your
+finger: there are depths that you know nothing about, and heights too,
+it may be: there are thrills of life that will go through all your
+veins, and show you that you are not as near dead as you supposed. You
+were but a boy when that girl gave you your quietus, as you imagined;
+you are a man now, with more in you than you fancy, and another girl may
+bring you to life. Still in your ashes live their ancient fires, and I'm
+mistaken if they don't start a superior blaze before long. Well, well,
+I hope it will make a man of you.
+
+
+
+
+X.
+
+ON THE CLIFFS.
+
+
+I was betrayed into the above apostrophe by the violence of my
+sympathies; but the lucid and graphic sentences which precede this
+moralizing ably sum up the situation during the first week of Hartman's
+visit. A good deal of wisdom was in circulation: I said some things
+myself which deserve to be remembered, and the others occasionally dropt
+a remark which showed how the ball was moving. You will want the chief
+of these outpourings in order of time, as landmarks in this history.
+
+Clarice took me apart the first day and began to cross-examine me: that
+is, she told me to go outside and wait for her, and by the time she came
+it was dusk. Why is it that the garish day seems to freeze our finer
+emotions, and reduce us to the monotonous level of a dull cold
+practicality? It is under the calm light of moon and stars that soul
+speaks to soul, and we gain those subtler experiences, those deeper
+views of our own nature and that of our nearest and dearest, which so
+far transcend the plodding sciences of the laboratory, the useless
+learning of the pedant, and the empty wisdom of the children of this
+world.
+
+"Come, Robert, wake up; don't sit mooning there like a calf. Make your
+report."
+
+"Report?" said I, thus rudely startled from a train of thought which
+might have borne rich fruit for coming generations. "What about?"
+
+"What about? You forget yourself. Whose employ are you in?"
+
+"Well, on Water Street I am supposed to be carrying on business for
+myself, and at home I am the envied husband and father of a happy and
+admiring family. Clarice, I was meditating on subjects of much moment;
+and the duties of hospitality claim my valuable time. Did you wish to
+speak to me particularly?"
+
+"None of your nonsense, now. What did you talk about last night on the
+boat?"
+
+"All sorts of things. My conversation is always improving. I explained
+to Jim that his reentrance on society could not be made under fairer
+auspices; that models of deportment and of all the virtues would be
+about him on every hand; that a pure atmosphere of love and peace
+pervaded this modest mansion; that joy was unconfined; that we could lay
+our weary heads on each other's bosoms in the repose of perfect trust,
+knowing that not a thought entered any one of them which the angels
+above might not look into with satisfaction, and--"
+
+"You talk too much about bosoms, Robert: it is not in good taste. What
+did you say about me?"
+
+"Divil a word, bedad. Wasn't that right? Didn't you tell me to keep
+dark, and not mention you?"
+
+"Not unnecessarily. But didn't he ask?"
+
+"He'd forgotten all about you. Now, Princess, don't be offended; there
+was next to nothing to forget, you know. It's not as if he had ever seen
+you, or really heard anything about you. O, I'll talk you up to him
+whenever you say so; to-night, if you like. But I thought his forgetting
+was what you wanted. Didn't I manage it well? Do own that now, please.
+Let those cerulean orbs shed one ray of gentle light upon the path of a
+weary wayfarer--yes, that's better. Have I merited your approval, Serene
+Highness?"
+
+"You've done very well--for you. But was it necessary to tell so many
+lies, Bob?"
+
+"Now _that_ is not in good taste, if I am a judge--to put such ugly
+names upon the graceful fancies with which I decorate the plain, rude
+facts of everyday life. What are we without Imagination, that glorious
+gift which causes the desert to rejoice and blossom like your little
+flower-bed in the back yard at home? You know, Clarice, that my mind is
+a deep clear well of Truth, and my lips merely the bucket that draws it
+up. Where will you get candor and veracity, those priceless pearls, if
+not from me?"
+
+"Robert, you have fallen into this way of practising your little tricks
+and deceptions on everybody. O, I know you mean no harm; it is merely
+for your own amusement. But Mabel and Jane don't quite understand it."
+
+"Couldn't you explain it to them, Clarice? Some people have no sense of
+humor. I can't well go around saying, This is a joke; please take it in
+the spirit in which it is offered."
+
+"O, it does no great harm: they are very seldom deceived, and perhaps
+they will learn to make allowances for you by and by. But you may be
+tempted to try your games on me: if I ever catch you at that--Remember,
+I am not to be trifled with."
+
+"Perish the thought, and perish the caitiff base who would harbor it.
+Princess, you are sharper than I. Do you think I would be fool enough to
+try any tricks on you, when I should be found out at once?"
+
+"People generally find you out at once, but that doesn't seem to stop
+you. How can I tell whether I can trust you? I don't believe you know
+yourself when you are serious--if you ever are."
+
+"There is one subject on which I am serious--deeply so, and always.
+Clarice, when I die, if you will see that the autopsy is properly
+performed, you will find your initials, as the poet says, neatly
+engraven on my blighted heart."
+
+"Robert, sometimes I fear you have incipient softening of the brain."
+
+"And if I have, is not that a reason why I should be watched and guarded
+tenderly--why loving arms should enfold my tottering frame, and sweet
+smiles cheer my declining path, and a strong firm brain like yours
+support my failing intellect? Clarice, be gentle with me. I am an orphan
+like yourself; soon, if you read the future aright, to be laid beneath
+the cold clods of the valley. When I am sleeping under the daisies in
+the lonely churchyard, you will say to yourself, He was my friend, my
+more than brother: he loved me with a loyal and self-oblivious devotion.
+And then, in those sad hours of vain remembrance, every unkind word that
+you have spoken, all the coldness and cruelty which have pierced my
+patient breast, will return to torture yours. Be warned in time,
+Clarice, and make it easy for me while you have the chance."
+
+"Robert, if you have a talent, it is for shirking a subject you are
+afraid of. When you go off like this, I know you are hiding something
+from me. What is it this time?"
+
+I saw things were getting serious. She was bound to get it out of me,
+and I might as well give in. "Princess, I will confess, and throw myself
+on your mercy. Strike, but hear me. It won't pay you to be cross now,
+for you've got to be with me till you conclude to take Hartman up; we
+can't be quarrelling all the time, you know. He asked me about you this
+morning; Jane had spoken of you at breakfast. I put him off with general
+remarks about your being down south last winter, and the like of that;
+then suddenly my brain slipped--it _is_ softening, you see--and I said
+you had come back when I was in the woods with him. That started him,
+and he recalled your notion of going up there."
+
+"You are sure you didn't mention it yourself? What did he say?"
+
+"Merely that he wished I had let you and Jane come. He likes Jane. Upon
+my honor now, he had no suspicion of anything."
+
+"You goose, how often have I told you there was nothing to suspect? But
+men are so coarse. Well, is that all? What else are you trying to
+conceal?"
+
+"On my soul, Princess, that's all. I explained it all right, and he was
+commencing to berate me for not preparing him to meet you as well as the
+others, when we suddenly came on you, and you struck him deaf and dumb
+and blind. He swore at me under his breath just before I introduced
+him." Here my feelings overcame me again.
+
+"Well, there's no harm done. But you really must be more careful, Bob.
+Try and make your poor mind work better while it lasts; don't forget my
+instructions again, and when you have made a blunder, tell me at once.
+You are so light, so devoted to your frivolous amusements; you seem to
+be drifting into second childhood, thirty years too soon. If you had an
+object, now, a serious purpose in life: if you really cared for
+anything--even for me!"
+
+She cuts me when she talks like that. "Clarice, my regard for you is so
+undemonstrative that you fail to appreciate its depth. If I were to make
+a fuss over it, now, and use a lot of endearing epithets and big
+professions, perhaps you would believe me. Some time you will know
+whether I care for you or not; whether I've got anything in me, and am
+capable of acting like a man. You wait and see. But I wish I knew what
+you are going to do with poor Jim."
+
+"Some time you will know: you wait and see. You can go and comfort him
+now. Good night, poor Bob."
+
+
+
+
+XI.
+
+EXPLANATIONS.
+
+
+I went and comforted him. "Well, old man," I said with a cheerful air,
+"how do you get on?"
+
+"Robert," said he, "do you suppose I would have come here if I had known
+what an atrocious humbug you are? Do you imagine for a moment that my
+relatives, if I had any, would have subjected my innocence to such
+insidious guardianship? Have you brought me here to destroy my faith,
+and pollute my morals, and poison my young life with the spectacle of
+your turpitude?"
+
+"You're improving already, Jim. When I saw you last you hadn't any
+faith, nor much morals; your youth was away back in the past, and your
+strength was dried up like railroad doughnuts; you were ready to fall
+with the first leaves of autumn. Well, since you are here, you can stay
+till you see how you like us. What do you think of Clarice?"
+
+"She has given me no basis on which to think of her, beyond her looks;
+they rather take one's breath away. You beast, what do you mean by
+springing a face like that on me without warning, after all your
+humbugging talk last night, pretending to post me on every one I was to
+meet? And I say, do you always stand guard over her when anybody comes
+near?"
+
+"Well, you see, you were so overcome by the first sight of her this
+morning, that it seemed no more than fair to let you recover your
+breath, as you say, and get used to her by degrees. But, James, this is
+unseemly levity on your part. What have we to do with girls? Let us
+leave them to the baser spirits who have use for them. The world's a
+bubble, and the life of man of no account at all. We have tried it, and
+it is empty; hark, it sounds. Vain pomp and glory of it all, we hate ye.
+Ye tinsel gauds, ye base embroideries, ye female fripperies, have but
+our scorn. What are flashing eyes, and tossing ringlets, and rosy lips,
+and jewelled fingers, to minds like ours? Let us go off to the Nitrian
+desert, Jim, away from this eternal simper, this harrowing routine."
+
+"You must have been reading up lately, my boy. I left all that in the
+woods, Bob, and came down here in good faith for a change of air,
+prepared to learn anything you might have to teach me. If you've got any
+more traps and masked batteries, let them loose on me; practice on me to
+your heart's content. You've undertaken to convert me, and I'm here to
+give you a chance: a fine old apostle you are. But I don't quite
+understand Miss Elliston's position here, Bob."
+
+"Her position here, or anywhere else, is that she does about as she
+pleases, and makes everybody else do it too, as you will see before your
+hair is gray, my learned friend. As I may have told you, we are her
+nearest relatives: she is an orphan."
+
+"Parents been dead long?"
+
+"About seventeen years. What's that got to do with it?"
+
+"O, not much; don't be so suspicious. Do you think I'm trying to play
+some trick on you, after your model? How should I, a helpless stranger
+in a strange land, betrayed by the friend in whom I trusted? I'm an
+orphan myself too. So that Miss Elliston is in a measure dependent on
+your kindness?"
+
+"O, don't fancy that she's a poor relation, or anything of that sort.
+She's got more cash than she wants, and loads of friends: had twenty
+invitations for the summer. If you don't behave to suit her, she's
+liable to go off any day to Bar Harbor, or Saratoga, or the Yosemite, or
+Kamtchatka."
+
+"Very good of her, to stay here with you, then."
+
+"Well, Mabel is deeply attached to her; so is Jane, and the children of
+course. Her parents and mine were close friends in the country--where I
+came from, you know. She and I were brought up together; that is, she
+was--I was mostly brought up before her appearance on this mundane
+sphere. We used to play in the haymow, and fall from the apple trees
+together, and all that. O, Clarice is quite a sister to me--a pretty
+good sister too, all things considered."
+
+"And you are quite a brother to her, as I see. Strange, that it never
+occurred to mention her, when you were describing the various members of
+your family. Does her mind match her personal attractions?"
+
+"She's got as good a head as you have, old man, or any other male
+specimen I've struck. I myself meet her on almost equal terms. O, hang
+that; I don't either. This is no subject for profane jesting. Talk about
+the inferiority of women! If the moralists and stump-speakers had one
+like her at home, they'd change their tune. But there are no more like
+her."
+
+"You speak warmly, Bob. To Clarice every virtue under heaven. Beautiful,
+brilliant, accomplished, amiable; you are a happy man to have such an
+annex to your household--even if she wasn't worth naming at the start."
+
+"Amiable--who said she was amiable? Leave that to commonplace women and
+plain everyday fellows like me. You can't expect that of her sort, Jim.
+She can be very nice when she pleases. I suppose she has a heart; it has
+never waked up yet. When it does, it will be a big one. We don't expect
+the plebeian virtues of her."
+
+"She has a conscience, I hope? If not, it might be better to go away,
+and stay away. You ought not to keep dangerous compounds about the
+house, Bob."
+
+"She won't explode--though others may. A conscience? I think so. She
+couldn't do a mean thing. She keeps a promise: she has more sense of
+justice than most women. But you can't apply ordinary rules to her. She
+is of the blood royal: the Princess, we call her. Can't you see, Jim?
+You are man enough to take her measure, so far as any one can."
+
+"I see her outside; it is worth coming here to see, if I were an artist
+or an aesthete. She has deigned to show me no more as yet."
+
+"It is all of a piece: the rest matches that, as you will see in time.
+There is but one Clarice."
+
+"Bob, you are different from last night. I believe you are telling the
+truth now."
+
+"She sobers you. When you have been with her, when you think of her, it
+is as if you were in church--only a good deal more so."
+
+"Very convenient and edifying, to have such a private chapel in one's
+house. Bob, in this mood I can trust you. Tell me one thing: why did you
+never mention her to me?"
+
+"She doesn't wish me to talk of her to strangers."
+
+"And now the prohibition is removed?"
+
+"You are not a stranger now. She knows you, and you have seen her."
+
+"Well, you are loyal. Does she appreciate such fidelity?"
+
+"We are very good friends. From childhood we have been more together
+than most brothers and sisters. More or less, I have always been to her
+as I am now. She is used to me. I do not ask too much of her. Don't
+fancy that I am in her confidence, or any one: she has a royal reserve.
+See here, Jim; I am making you one of the family."
+
+"I understand. I must ask you one thing: why did you bring me here, to
+expose me to all this?"
+
+"You needed a change, Jim, as you half owned just now; almost any change
+would be for the better. I wanted you to see the world again: there is
+in it nothing fairer or richer than Clarice."
+
+"You go on as if she were a saint; and yet you say she's not."
+
+"You can answer that yourself, Jim. She's far from it: you and I are not
+saint-worshippers. But she has it in her to be a saint, if her attention
+and her latent force were turned that way. She can be anything, or do
+anything. She hasn't found her life yet. She bides her time, and I wait
+with her. Her wings will sprout some day. I like her well enough as she
+is."
+
+"Evidently. Do you know, old man, that you are talking very freely?"
+
+"Am I the first? or do you suppose I would say all this to any chance
+comer? You opened your soul to me in May, as far as you knew it: you are
+welcome to see into mine now."
+
+"There is a difference. I cared for nothing, and believed in nothing; so
+my soul was worth little. Yours is that of a prosperous and happy man."
+
+"Externals are not the measure of the soul, Jim, nor yet creeds. I know
+a gentleman when I see him, and so do you. Your soul will get its food
+yet, and assume its full stature; you've been trying to starve it
+partly, that's all."
+
+"Do you talk this way to your Princess, Bob?"
+
+"No. She is younger than we: why should I bore her? You and I are on
+equal terms: she and I are not."
+
+"This humility is very chivalric, but I don't quite understand it in
+you, Bob."
+
+"You can't: you've been so long unused to women, and you never knew one
+like her. If you had, it would have been too early; what does a boy of
+twenty know of himself, or of the girls he thinks he is in love with, or
+of the true relations that should exist between him and them? Call it
+quixotic if you like; I don't mind. Any gentleman, that is, any
+spiritual man, has it in him to be a Quixote. When you come to know
+Clarice, you will understand."
+
+"Do you call yourself and me spiritual men, Bob?"
+
+"Yes; why not? Spirituality does not depend on the opinions one chances
+to hold, but on the view he takes of his own part in Life, and on the
+inherent nature of his soul. We are not worshippers of mammon, or
+fashion, or any of the idols of the tribe. I live in the world, and you
+out of it; but that makes little difference. You were in danger of
+becoming a dogmatist, but you are too much of a man for that. We both
+live to learn, and we can spend ourselves on an adequate object when we
+find it."
+
+"Bob, if you don't talk to her like this, she doesn't know you as I do."
+
+"No human being knows another exactly as a third does. We strike fire at
+different points--when we do at all, which is seldom--and show different
+sides of ourselves to such few as can see at all. She does not care
+especially for me: why should she? But she has great penetration--more
+than you have, far more than I. She sees my follies and faults as you
+don't; she is a sort of a confessor. At present she is a Sunday-school
+teacher, and I am her class."
+
+"What _do_ you talk of, all the time?"
+
+"It's not all the time, by any means. That is as she pleases; just now
+it may be a good deal. By and by it may be your turn: then you'll know
+some things you don't now. There is nothing I say to her which the world
+might not overhear, if the world could understand it; and nothing that I
+can repeat. Jim, I am done: we are up very late."
+
+"Two things I must say yet, or ask, old man. You would stand by this
+girl against the world; and yet you have charged yourself with me. It
+may be idle to formulate remote and improbable contingencies, but it is
+in our line. Would you take her part against me, and be my enemy--you
+who are my only friend?"
+
+"I would stand by her against the world, assuredly. I would stand by you
+against all the world but her, I think. You two might quarrel, but
+neither of you would be wrong: I know you both, and you don't know each
+other. So I take the risk; it is none. When that time comes, neither of
+you will find me wanting."
+
+"I believe it. The other thing is this--forgive me if I go too far. Do
+you know what even intelligent and charitable people would say of all
+this? That it was very queer, very mixed, very dubious."
+
+"They are not our judges, nor we theirs. What would they say of your
+theories, and your way of life? To be sure, these concern yourself
+alone. So is this inwardly my affair; it binds, it holds no other. Must
+a man live in the woods, to form his own ethical code? Here too one may
+keep clean hands and a pure heart, and do his own thinking. Life is very
+queer, very mixed, very dubious; I take it as it comes. O, I see truth
+here and there in your notions of it, though it has done well by me. If
+I find in it something unique and precious, shall I thrust that aside,
+because the statutes have not provided for such a case? But one thing I
+can reject, so that for me it is not: the baser element. Gross
+selfishness and vulgar passions are no more in my scheme than in yours:
+if their suggestions were to rise, it would be easy to disown them. The
+human beasts who let their lower nature rule, the animals who care for
+themselves and call it caring for another, are not of our society. O
+yes, in common things one must get and keep his own--the body must have
+its food; but one's private temple is kept for worship, and owns a
+different law. It is not always, nor often, that one can build his
+shrine on earth, and enter it every day: when a man has that exceptional
+privilege, he must and may keep his standards high enough to fit. You
+understand?"
+
+"I do: I am learning. I knew all this in theory, but supposed it ended
+there. And your Princess, you think is of our society?"
+
+"No root of nobleness is lacking in her; when the season comes, the
+plants will spring and the garden bloom. But we cannot expect to
+understand her fully; she is of finer clay than we."
+
+"One thing more, and then I will let you go. There is more of you than I
+thought, my boy. In May I knew you had a heart; but one who heard you in
+the woods would have set you down just for a kindly, practical man of
+the world. Last night, and most of the time to-day, you were the
+trifler, the incorrigible jester. Why do you belie yourself so and hide
+your inmost self from all but me?"
+
+"Because I've got to convert you, old man. It is a poor instrument that
+has but a single string; and David's harp of solemn sound would bore me
+as much as it would other folks, if I tried to play on it all the time.
+How many people would sit out this talk of ours, or read it if we put it
+in print? Taken all in all, the light fantastic measure suits me much
+better. To see all sides, we must take all tones. The varying moods
+within fit the varying facts without; to get at truth we must give each
+its turn. But in the main it is best to take Life lightly. Your error
+was that you were too serious about it: it's not worth that. Most things
+are chiefly fit to laugh at. The highgrand style will do once in a way:
+we've worked it too hard now. Let's come down to earth. I wanted to show
+you that I could do the legitimate drama as well as you, and yet wear a
+tall hat and dress for dinner. See?"
+
+"That's all very well, Bob, but I can discriminate between your
+seriousness and your farce. Perhaps it is well to mix them, or to take
+them as they are mixed for us. You may be right in that; I'll think it
+over. Yes, I can see now that Heraclitus overdoes it, and that I used
+to. Well, my lad, you are a queer professor of ethics; but I'm not sure
+you've brought me to the wrong school."
+
+
+
+
+XII.
+
+AWAKENING.
+
+
+The next day Clarice took me off as usual. "Well, have you made any more
+blunders?"
+
+"Not one. You have nothing to reproach me with this time, Czarina."
+
+"You kept Mr. Hartman up dreadfully late. What were you talking about so
+long?"
+
+"O, he is prepared to find you wonderful, and to come to time whenever
+you want him. I told him your wings weren't grown yet: you were the
+Sleeping Beauty in the Enchanted Palace; the hour and the man hadn't
+arrived. You dwelt in maiden meditation, and the rest of it."
+
+"You did not cheapen me, surely, Robert?"
+
+"God forbid: do I hold you cheap, that I should rate you so to others?
+He may tell you every word I said, when you begin to turn him inside
+out; there was none of it that you or I need be ashamed of. He knows,
+both by his own observation and from my clear and impressive narrative,
+that you are remote and inaccessible--the edelweiss growing high up in
+its solitude, where only the daring and the elect can find its haunt."
+
+"That is very neat. Did it take you three hours to tell him that? I
+heard you come in as it struck two."
+
+"Too bad to disturb your slumbers, Princess: we will take our boots off
+outside, next time. Naturally you were the most important topic we could
+discuss; but I also explained his advantages in being thrown so much
+into my own society. O, he is getting on. He said--"
+
+"I don't want to know what he said. The man is here, and I can see--and
+hear, when I choose--for myself. Do you think I would tempt you to
+violate what might be a confidence, Robert?"
+
+"But if I repeat to you what I said, why not what he said?--except that
+his observations would not be so powerful and suggestive as mine, of
+course. Otherwise I don't see the difference."
+
+"Now that is stupid, Bob. The difference is that you belong to me, and
+he doesn't--as yet."
+
+I can't tell you how she says these things. If I could put on paper the
+tone, the toss of that lovely head, the smile, the sparkle of eyes and
+lips, that go with what you might call these little audacities, then you
+would know how they not only accent and punctuate the text, but supply
+whole commentaries on it. If you get a notion that the Princess is
+capable of boldness, or vulgar coquetry, or any of the faults of her sex
+or of ours, you are away off the track, and my engineering must have
+gone wrong. But I must stop this and get back to my report.
+
+"One thing I must repeat, Princess. I got off a lot of wisdom for Jim's
+benefit. You wouldn't think how wise it was; deep principles of human
+nature, and rules for the conduct of life, and such. It did him no end
+of good: and then he said that if I didn't talk to you that way, you
+couldn't know me as well as he does."
+
+"He must know you remarkably well then. Just like a man's conceit. Poor
+Bob, who should know you through and through if I don't?--Why don't you
+talk to me that way then, and improve me too?"
+
+"As the Scotchwoman said when they asked her if she understood the
+sermon, Wad I hae the presumption? When you catch me taking on airs and
+trying to improve you, make a note of it. No, no, Princess dear; the
+lecturing and improving between us had better remain where they are."
+
+"But, Robert, perhaps I would like to have you vary this continual
+incense-burning with snatches of something else."
+
+"I dare say. Do you know, Clarice, sometimes I think I am an awful fool
+about you."
+
+"That is what the doctors call a congenital infirmity, my dear. No use
+lamenting over what you can't help. Worship me as much as you like; it
+keeps you out of mischief. But you might change the tune now and then,
+and give me some of your alleged wisdom."
+
+"Shall I becloud that pure and youthful brow with metaphysic fumes?
+Should I soil your dainty muslins with the antique dust of folios, and
+oil from the midnight lamp? You wait till you take up Hartman; perhaps
+you can stand it from him. But if I were to hold forth to you in the
+style he prefers, you would get sick of me in twenty minutes. Let it
+suffice that my lonely vigils are spent in severe studies and profound
+meditations, the fruit whereof, in a somewhat indirect and roundabout
+way, may make smooth and safe the path that is traversed by your fairy
+feet. In the expressive language of the poet, Be happy; tend thy
+flowers; be tended by my blessing."
+
+"I know about your lonely vigils, Bob; they are spent on cigars, and
+making up jokes to use next morning. But you are not as bad as usual
+to-day. Do you know, I like you better when you are comparatively
+serious."
+
+"Then let me be ever thus, my Queen! It is the solemnizing influence of
+being so much with you. If you keep it up for another week, you'll have
+to send me off to New York to get secularized. I say, Clarice, how long
+do you mean to go on in this way? It's all very nice for me, but how
+about Hartman? _He's_ not frivolous; he takes Life in awful earnest.
+What do you propose to do with him after you've got him--I should say,
+after the fatal dart has transfixed his manly form, and he falls pierced
+and bleeding at your feet?"
+
+"My dear child, let me tell you a pretty little tale. Once upon a time
+there was a friend of mine, who thought a good deal of me, and of whom I
+thought more than he knew, poor man--enough to make you jealous,
+Bob."--Now who the devil was that, confound him? I never heard of him
+before. It must have been that winter she spent in Boston, just after
+she came out. That's over five years ago; he's probably dead or married
+before this. Well, get on with your pretty little tale: not that I see
+much prettiness about it.--"And when I would tease him to tell me some
+secret, he would answer, in his own well-chosen language. Some day you
+will know: you wait and see. By-by, baby!"--and away she dashed.
+
+My tongue went too fast last night. Her heart _is_ waking; her wings are
+sprouting. She must be getting interested in Jim. The hour is at hand,
+and the man: the horn at the castle-gate will soon be sounded, and
+presto! the transformation scene. That will be a spectacle for gods and
+men, now; but no tickets will be sold at the doors--admittance only by
+private card, and that to a very select few. I don't want any change in
+you, Princess; but I suppose the angels would like to see the depths in
+you that you haven't sounded, the fairer and wider chambers of your soul
+opened to the light. God grant that light may need no darkness to come
+before it, no storm-tossed, doubtful daybreak. If the change is for
+your happiness, no matter about us. You are moving toward a land where I
+cannot follow you; a land of mystery and wonder and awakening, of new
+beauties and glories and perils, and possibilities unknown and
+infinite--a journey wherein you can have no guide but your own pure
+instincts, no adviser but your own untried heart. God be with you, for
+Jane and Mabel can do no more than I. We shall hear no word from you
+till all be over, and then the Clarice of old will return to us no more.
+Transfigured she may be and beatified, but not the one we knew and loved
+so long. Little sister, all these years I have been at your side or
+ready at your call, and now you will not call and I cannot come to help
+you; for in these matters the heart knoweth its own bitterness, and a
+stranger doth not intermeddle with its joy. May it be joy and not the
+other! God be with them both, for it is a dangerous country where they
+are going; a region of mists and pitfalls and morasses, where closest
+friends may be rudely severed, and those whom Heaven hath joined be put
+asunder by their own most innocent errors--and the finest spirits run
+the heaviest risk. Ah well, if I were the Grand Duke of Gerolstein,
+maybe things would be better managed in my dominions.
+
+
+
+
+XIII.
+
+DOMESTIC CRITICISMS.
+
+
+Hartman has made a first-rate impression here. It would please you to
+see this stern ascetic, this despiser of Life and Humanity, with two
+toddlers on his lap, and Herbert at his knee, all listening open-mouthed
+to tales of the animal and vegetable kingdoms. The boy thinks that one
+who lives in the woods must be a great hunter, and clamors for bears and
+wildcats: Jane, in her usual unfeeling way, insists that I put him up to
+this. But though I am a family man--and you could not easily find one
+more exemplary--I do not propose to drag the nursery into the cold glare
+of public comment, or favor you with a chapter on the Management of
+Children.
+
+I would like to know why it is that women are so ready to take up with
+any chance stranger who comes along, when they cannot see the true
+greatness of their own nearest and dearest. Mabel pronounces Hartman a
+perfect gentleman and a safe companion for me; as if it were I, not he,
+that needed looking after. Jane seems to regard him as the rock which
+withstands the tempest, the oak round which the vine may safely cling,
+and that sort of thing. He is a good-looking fellow yet, and he has a
+stalwart kind of bearing, adapted to deceive persons who do not know him
+as well as I do. They would almost side with him against Clarice--but
+not quite: in their hearts, they think her perfect.
+
+One evening we were all together in the parlor. The Princess had gone
+somewhere with one of her numerous adorers, whom she had failed to bluff
+off as she generally does: the young man was going to cast himself into
+the sea, I believe, and I told her she had better let him and be done
+with it, but she said he had a widowed mother and several sisters, and
+ought to live long enough to leave them comfortably provided for; so I
+let her go. I was trying to direct the conversation into improving
+channels, but the frivolous female mind is too much for me.
+
+"Mr. Hartman," Jane began, "we rely on you to exercise a good influence
+upon Robert. He is so light-minded, and so deceitful."
+
+"Yes," Mabel added; "no one can restrain him but Clarice, and she
+cannot spend her whole time upon him, she has so much else to do."
+
+"See here," said I; "this is a put-up job: I will have you all indicted
+for conspiracy. Have you no proper respect for the head of the house?"
+
+"We would like to," my spouse replied: "we make every effort: but it is
+so difficult! Mr. Hartman, he wants to manage every little matter,
+particularly those which pertain exclusively to women, and which he
+cannot understand at all."
+
+"Yes," said Jane; "would you believe it, Mr. Hartman, he attempted to
+instruct us as to the proper manner of receiving you! But that is not
+the worst of it. He is utterly unable to keep a secret--not that any one
+would entrust him with secrets of the least importance, of course. And
+when he thinks he knows something that we do not know, he goes about
+looking so solemn that even Herbert can detect him at once. And in such
+cases he actually comes to us, and questions us about the matter, with a
+view to throwing us off the scent, and keeping dark, as he calls it. Did
+you ever hear of such absurdity?"
+
+"Ladies and gentleman," I said with dignity, "would you mind excusing me
+for a few moments? I would like to retire to the rocks outside, and
+swear a bit."
+
+"Robert!" my wife cried, "I am ashamed of you. What will Mr. Hartman
+think of your morals?" You see, they think Jim is a very correct young
+man.
+
+"O, I know him of old," he said. "Never mind, Bob, I will stand by you.
+Really, you are a little hard on him. He has improved; I assure you he
+has. Why, he was quite a cub at college. Your softening influences have
+done a great deal for him; everything, in fact."
+
+"It is very nice in you to say so, Mr. Hartman, and very polite, and
+very loyal; but I know Robert. Clarice does him a little good: she would
+do very much more, if he were not so stiff-necked. He thinks he is a
+man, and we are only women."
+
+"Well," I asked, "are you going to dispute that proposition? If so, I
+will leave Hartman to argue it out with you."
+
+"Mr. Hartman," said Jane, "he thinks he knows everything, and women are
+inferior creatures. O, such a superior being as he is!"
+
+"This is getting monotonous," I remarked. "Suppose, for a change, we
+abuse Clarice, as she is not here; that will be pleasanter all round,
+and less unconventional. Now that girl does a great deal of harm,
+turning the heads of so many foolish young men. She spends more on her
+dress than you and I do together, Hartman. What an aim in life for a
+rational being! Simply to look pretty, and produce an occasional piece
+of perfectly idle and useless embroidery: tidies even, now and
+then--just think of it! Of all the--"
+
+My wife stopped me here, and I was glad of it, for I really did not know
+what to say next.
+
+"You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Robert. To speak in that way of my
+cousin, and your own adopted sister! Don't believe a word of it, Mr.
+Hartman. She is sweet girl, though reserved with strangers: I am sorry
+you have seen so little of her. A high-minded, pure-hearted, dear,
+sweet, lovely girl; she is, and you know it, Robert." Well, perhaps I
+do; but there is no need of my saying so just now. Jane has to put in
+her oar again, of course.
+
+"Yes, Mr. Hartman, and that is a sample of his hypocrisy. He thinks as
+highly of Clarice as we do, and is almost as fond of her; and yet he
+pretends to criticize her, just to draw away attention from his own
+shortcomings."
+
+"Well, let's drop Clarice then, and go on discussing the present
+company, if you insist. We'll take them up one by one: I've had my
+turn, and my native modesty shrinks from further praise. You see Mrs.
+T., Hartman? She sits there looking so calm and placid, like a mother in
+Israel; you would think her a model spouse. Yet no one knows what I
+suffer. Mabel, I had not been with him ten minutes last May when he
+noticed my premature baldness, and general fagged-out and jaded look;
+and to hide the secrets of my prison-house, I had to pretend that I had
+been working too hard in Water Street. You all know how painful
+deception is to my candid nature; but I did it for your sake, Mabel.
+When did I ever return aught but good for evil? Yet O, the curtain
+lectures, the manifold ways in which the iron has entered into my soul!
+But we brought Hartman here to reconcile him to civilized and domestic
+life, and I will say no more. Now there is Jane. She naturally puts her
+best foot foremost in company; you think she is all she seems: but I
+could a tale unfold. Now mark my magnanimity: I won't do it. She is my
+sister, and with all her faults I love her still. Well, if you are tired
+you'd better go to bed: Hartman wants to smoke."
+
+
+
+
+XIV.
+
+OVER TWO CIGARS.
+
+
+When we got out under the pure breezes of heaven, Hartman turned to me
+and said, "So you call this reconciling me to domestic life, do you?"
+
+"Well, I want you to see things as they are. They are not as bad as your
+fancy used to paint them, or as a duller man might suppose from recent
+appearances. Women haven't our sense of humor, Jim: their humble
+efforts at jocosity are apt to be exaggerated, or flat--generally both;
+but they mean no harm."
+
+"Well, Bob, your preparations to instruct my ignorance are highly
+successful. All this is as good as a play. You see you are found out,
+old humbug; everybody sees through you. You can't delude any of us any
+more."
+
+"I don't quite see what you're driving at, my christian friend; but I'm
+glad you like us, and I hope you'll like us better before you are done
+with us." When he talks like this, I am content to see the hand of Fate
+snatch at his scalp, as it will before long. Gibe on, ungrateful mocker:
+retribution will soon overtake you in your mad career. Where then will
+be your gibes, your quips, your quiddities? You'll want my sympathy by
+and by, and I'll see about giving it.
+
+"You needn't be so much cast down, Bob. Perhaps you are building me up
+better than you know. Your struggles with your womankind give a flavor
+to what I used to suppose must be insipid. You are pretty well satisfied
+with each other, or you wouldn't pretend to quarrel so. What I saw of
+you before did something toward reconciling me to human nature at large,
+and your quaint efforts at shrewdness and finesse set off your real
+character. You might take in outsiders, but not me."
+
+"This is too much, my friend--a blanked sight too much. Crushed to earth
+by such unmerited compliments, I can only repeat my gratification that
+we meet with your approval. You settle down, and you'll see how insipid
+it is: then you'll be making some quaint efforts at shrewdness and
+finesse yourself. Invite me then, and I'll get even with you, old man.
+But I say, what did you mean about my being a cub at college?"
+
+"Well, you were, you know. Barmaids and ballet-dancers, and that sort of
+thing."
+
+"Confound you, Hartman, what do you go bringing them up for? There was
+only one of each, or thereabouts, and they were generally old enough to
+be my mothers. I was but a child, Jim--a guileless, merry, high-hearted
+boy, and innocent as the lamb unshorn."
+
+"You were that, and the shearing did you a lot of good. O, you can be
+easy; I'll not bring up the sins of your youth."
+
+"They were no sins, only follies. I had my early Pendennis stage, of
+course, and invested every woman I met with the hues of imagination. But
+Mabel and the girls might not understand that."
+
+"I don't think they would. Happily, it is not necessary they should try
+to, since you have returned to the path of rectitude. Do you think you
+belonged to Our Society in those days, Bob?"
+
+"Yes, sir: I did, in embryo. I had it in me to develop into the ornament
+of our species you behold at present. That's all a boy is good for,
+anyway. He thinks he's somebody, but he isn't. He doesn't amount to
+anything, except in the fond hopes of his anxious parents. He knows
+nothing, and he can do nothing, except learn by his blunders; and some
+of 'em can't do that. But if he has any stuff in him, he grows and
+ripens with time, as you and I did. What bosh, to put the prime of life
+at twenty-five. They ought to move it on a bit; about our age, now, a
+man ought to be at his best."
+
+"I don't know, Bob. I was an egregious ass at twenty-five, and I'm not
+sure I'm any better now."
+
+"Then there's hope of you, my boy. But one must go on getting
+experience. You shut the door too soon and too tight, Jim."
+
+"When I had it open, such an infernal stench and dust came in, that it
+seemed best to close it. But it's open again now, partly, and this seems
+a healthier and cleaner atmosphere."
+
+"You'll come out all right, Jim; and when you do, you won't seem to have
+been altogether wrong all these years. You've kept yourself unspotted
+from the world, more than most of us; and when you come to know a girl
+like Clarice, you'll want the most and best of you, to be fit for her
+society. If only one could get the general ripening without some of the
+dashed details of the process! She makes you wish you could have been
+brought up in a bandbox, if only you could have come out of it a man and
+not a mollycoddle."
+
+"Only 'men-maidens in their purity' are worthy to approach her, no
+doubt. Apparently I am not. I'll have to be content with your account of
+Miss Elliston's perfections, Robert. She seems to have no more use for
+me than the Texans for the Sheriff. But I am doing very nicely, thanks
+to your sister. I doubt if you appreciate Miss Jane, Bob. She sees
+further into things than you do. She impresses me as a sound-hearted
+woman, wise, kind, and gracious."
+
+"Yes, and so sisterly and appreciative. O yes, such a superior person as
+she is! But see here, Jim; that's not what you're here for. Jane is all
+very well in her way, but----"
+
+He turned on me suddenly. "What the deuce do you mean now?"
+
+By Jove, now I've done it: he's got me in a corner.--You just wait and
+see me get out of it. "O well, Jim, I speak only by general analogy, of
+course. I am not in the Princess's confidence, as I told you. I might be
+if any one were, but nobody can see into her mind further than she
+chooses to let them, and that is but a very little way. It would be a
+fine sight, no doubt; but she has the reticence of a--well, of an angel
+probably; exceptionally delicate and sensitive nature, and all that, you
+know. It's not her way to let a good thing go by unnoticed, and she is
+quite able to appreciate you. Your time is not up yet: you're likely to
+see more of her before you go--at least, I should suppose so."
+
+"Well, I am here to see things, as you say, and I may as well see
+whatever is to be shown me. I am in your hands, old man; make as good a
+job of it as you can before you send me back to the woods."
+
+It is all very well for him to talk lightly on solemn subjects; he'll
+change his tone by and by. I have prepared his mind now, as I prepared
+the others before he came. Perhaps I ought to have done it sooner;
+perhaps the Princess has been waiting for that. She'll know, without my
+telling her; she'll see it in his eye.--Nonsense, Robert T.; your zeal
+outruns your discretion. What does she want of your help in a thing like
+this? Anyway, he's ready to be operated on, and it seems about time she
+began to put in her work.
+
+
+
+
+XV.
+
+THE CATASTROPHE.
+
+
+This miscellaneous entertainment, as I have remarked, lasted for about a
+week: then suddenly the situation changed. I can't tell you how it was
+done, though I was looking on all the time; but one evening I found
+myself with Jane, and Hartman had gone off with the Princess. We were
+all ready to play to her lead, no doubt; but it would have made no
+difference if it had been otherwise: when she ordains a thing, that
+thing is done, and without her taking any pains about it either, so far
+as you can see. I think the predestined victim was pleased and flattered
+to have the sacrificial chapter placed upon his head, so to speak; he
+ought to have been, at any rate.
+
+"Jane," I said, "what do you suppose Clarice is up to now?"
+
+"Robert," said she, "I thought I had given you a lesson about practising
+your absurd hypocrisies on me. Who should know what her plans are, if
+not you? If you really are not in her confidence--and it would not be
+far, certainly--surely you know Clarice well enough not to interfere.
+Let them alone, and keep quiet." That is the way they always talk to me:
+I wish they would find something new to say.
+
+Things went on in this fashion for another week or more. It was all very
+quiet: there was really nothing to see. What they talked about I don't
+know; when the rest of us were by, their conversation was not notable. I
+can make more original and forcible remarks myself; in fact, I do, every
+day. But I have no doubt she catechized and cross-examined him in
+private. It is not Hartman's way to air his theories before ladies, or
+to obtrude himself as a topic of discussion; but the Princess, when she
+condescends to notice a man at all, likes to see a good deal further
+into his soul than he ever gets to see into hers. That is all right in
+this case; the doctor has to be acquainted with the symptoms before he
+can cure the patient. When Hartman and I were together at the end of the
+evenings and at odd hours, he had very little to say: he seemed rather
+preoccupied and introspective. He is another of your plaguedly reserved
+people, who when they have anything on hand wrap it up in Egyptian
+darkness and Cimmerian gloom. That is the correct thing in a woman--in
+Clarice at least: in a man I don't like it. My soul, now, is as open as
+the day, and when I have struck any new ideas or discoveries, I would
+willingly stand on a house-top--if it were flat--and proclaim them for
+the benefit of the world. Even my uncompleted processes of thought are
+at the service of any one who can appreciate them; but you can't expect
+everybody to be like me. Most men are selfish, narrowly engrossed in
+their small private concerns--no generous public spirit about them. But
+then Hartman is not used to this kind of thing, and I suppose it knocks
+the wind out of him.
+
+One evening I was by myself in the shrubbery; it was just dark, but
+there was a tidy young moon. I wanted to smoke a pipe for a change, and
+so had gone to the most secluded place I could find, for if Mabel were
+to hear of this, Hartman might not get reconciled to domestic life. I
+sat there, meditating on the uncertainty of human affairs: it would do
+you more good than a little to know what thoughts passed through my
+mind, but there is no time to go into that. Suddenly two forms came in
+sight. One was of manly dignity, the other of willowy grace. His frame
+towered like the noble oak on the hilltop, while hers--but we have had
+the oak and the vine before, and worked them for all they are worth.
+Perhaps I ought to have given you a more particular account of the
+appearance of these two young persons: but you don't care to know their
+exact height and fighting weight, the color of their hair and eyes, and
+so forth; what you want is the stature and complexion of their souls.
+They were a handsome pair, and whene'er they took their walks and drives
+abroad like Dr. Watts, they attracted much attention. Just now there was
+nobody but myself to admire them, and I was in ambush. They strolled
+about in what there was of the moonlight, seeming much absorbed, and I
+sat still in the shade, and put down my pipe: I couldn't hear their
+talk, and didn't want to disturb them. Suddenly he raised his voice:
+matters between them must have come to an interesting stage. "But,
+Clarice, if you care for me--"
+
+He was too quick. The madness which urged him on can easily be
+understood and--except by the one concerned--pardoned; but what devil
+possessed her, who shall say? She drew herself up with superb scorn.
+"You are beginning at the wrong end, Sir. 'If I care for you!' Why
+should I?"
+
+"Very good," he said at once. "I was mistaken. I beg your pardon most
+humbly."
+
+There was as little humility as possible in his look and tone. He stood
+like a gladiator--and not a wounded one either--with his head thrown
+back and his chest out. I could fancy, rather than see, the flashing of
+his eyes.
+
+The flashes were all on his side now; Clarice's brief exhibition of
+fireworks seemed to be over, and she was drooping. "Mr. Hartman," she
+began, and could get no further.
+
+In the act to go, he turned and faced her again.
+
+"Miss Elliston, my presumption was doubtless unpardonable; I shall not
+know how to forgive myself. Do me the undeserved honor, if you can, to
+forget it--and me. I can only renew my apologies, and relieve you of my
+presence."
+
+He bowed, and was gone. The proper thing for Clarice to do next was to
+swoon or shriek; but I knew her too well to expect anything of that
+sort. Nor did she tear her hair, or beat her breast, or offer to the
+solitary spectator any performance worth noting. I thought it best to
+keep remarkably quiet in my corner till she too had gone. In fact, I
+staid there for an hour or two after, though I did not enjoy that pipe
+at all; the tobacco was not right, or something. You see, after all the
+lectures I had had, I did not want to spoil things by mixing myself up
+with them; the situation looked picturesque enough without me in it.
+
+When I went back to the house I found that Jim had caught the boat and
+gone. "He came to me," said Mabel, "and told me that he had overstaid
+his time and found it best to go to-night. He was very friendly, but his
+tone did not encourage questioning or remonstrance. His parting with
+Jane was almost affectionate, and he left kind regards for you. But not
+a word for Clarice."
+
+"Great Jackson! what is the matter with them?" I often use what my wife
+considers profane language when I have something to hide.
+
+It had its effect this time. "Robert, be quiet. It is all right. When
+there is anything for you to know, you shall know it."
+
+She sometimes appears to mistake me for our eldest boy. But I was glad
+to get off with the secret. Yes, there is something to know, my lady,
+and I know it, though you don't. But I fear it is a long way from all
+right.
+
+
+
+
+XVI.
+
+FEMININE COUNSELS.
+
+
+After this there was general gloom about the place, and I preferred to
+spend much of the time in New York. But whenever I got there, this
+confounded business would drive me back: Clarice might want me. Nobody
+dared question her, till one day at lunch Herbert spoke up. "Mamma, why
+doesn't Mr. Hartman come back? Cousin Clarice, what have you done to
+him?" He was promptly suppressed, and the Princess froze his infant
+veins with a stony stare, while Jane and I looked hard at our plates.
+But later that day I came upon Clarice and the child together: he was
+locked in her arms, and begging her not to cry. They did not see me, and
+I retired in good order.
+
+Within a week came a short note from Jim: apologies for leaving without
+saying good-bye to me, appreciation of our kindness, regards to my wife
+and sister--and not a word of Clarice. I took it to Mabel, of course.
+
+"Be very careful how you answer this now, Robert."
+
+"How will this do? 'Dear Jim, sorry you went off in such a hurry; but
+after my performance in May I have no right to find fault. We all miss
+you, I think: the house has grown dull. Herbert continues to fall over
+the banisters, and at intervals over the rocks: at all hours, but
+especially when laid up for repairs, he howls for you and bear-stories.
+Our kindest regards. Keep us posted.' That's about it, eh?"
+
+"Ye-es: you can't ask him to come back, and you can't mention Clarice;
+so you can say no more, and I don't like you to say any less. That is
+very well--for you, Robert; though you need not be so unfeeling about
+your own son."
+
+It is well occasionally to consult your womankind in such cases,
+because, though they may not know as much of the facts as you do, still
+they can sometimes give you an inner light on points you would not have
+thought of. Besides, it compliments and encourages them; whereas, if you
+appeared to pay no regard to their opinions, they would naturally feel
+neglected. A little judicious indirect flattery is of great use in
+managing one's household. So I put on my best air of injured innocence.
+
+"Mabel, I wish you could tell me what is the matter. Here my guest
+leaves my house suddenly, without a word of explanation. Herbert must be
+right: what has Clarice done to him?"
+
+"Robert, I told you that all was well; at least I trust it will be,
+though it may not seem so now. The leaven is working; leave it to Time.
+Above all, don't meddle; ask no questions; leave the matter to those who
+understand it."
+
+Now does she mean herself and Jane by that, or only Clarice and Hartman?
+I wonder if she thinks that I think that she knows anything about it.
+If she did, I should catch some sign of it. I tried my sister.
+
+"Jane, don't fly at me now, please. I am in trouble."
+
+"So are we all, brother. Trouble not of our own making--most of us."
+
+"Well then, what does all this secrecy mean? Has Clarice spoken to you?
+What does Mabel know?"
+
+"She knows no more than you and I, brother. Something has happened: any
+one may suspect what it is, but Clarice will not tell. I love and
+respect her too much to ask: so does Mabel; and so, I hope, do you."
+
+"Well, it's confounded hard lines, Jane, to have these things happening
+in your own house, and such a mystery made of it." I had to grumble to
+somebody, you see, if only to keep up appearances and help hide my
+guilty secret; and then I _was_ bored, and worse, with the way things
+had gone.
+
+"You took that risk, Robert, when you brought them together here. Did
+you expect that two such persons as they would agree easily and at once?
+I think they love each other, or were in a way to it when this occurred,
+whatever it was."
+
+"Well, I am awfully sorry. Clarice can take care of herself, I suppose;
+but as for Hartman, he had load enough to carry before. I love that man,
+Jane."
+
+"So do I, Robert."
+
+"Eh? O, the devil you do!" This came out before I could stop it. It did
+not please her.
+
+"Brother, you are simply scandalous. Will you never learn a decent
+respect for women--you with a wife of your own, and boys growing up?
+Where have you been to acquire such ideas and such manners? You might
+have lived in the woods instead of Mr. Hartman, and he might have been
+bred in courts, compared with you.--I mean, of course, that I am
+interested in him, and sorry for him, as we all are. He is your friend,
+and he has excellent qualities."
+
+I was somewhat cast down by all this browbeating. Where shall a man go
+for gentle sympathy and that sort of thing, if not to his own sister? I
+suppose she thought of this, for she went on more kindly. "I would say
+nothing to Clarice if I were you. When she is ready, she will speak--to
+you."
+
+"To me, eh? What would she do that for?" I put this in as part of the
+narrative, but I am not proud of it. I had not quite recovered yet from
+the effect of Jane's previous violence; and then my intellect is not
+equal to all these feminine convolutions.
+
+"Brother, your head is not as good as your heart. Don't you understand
+that in some cases a woman goes to a man, if there is one of the right
+kind at hand, much as a man goes to a woman? You are a man, and Mr.
+Hartman's nearest friend. After all her recent confidences with you, or
+intimacy at any rate--of course I don't know what she talked with you
+about, so many hours--is it surprising that Clarice should turn to you
+in her trouble, when she can bring herself to break silence at all? When
+she is ready, she will speak to you, and to no one else. Till she is
+ready, not all of us together, nor all the world, could draw a word from
+her. Must I explain all this to you, as if you were Herbert? And when
+she does speak, brother, I do hope that you will listen with due respect
+and sympathy, and not disgust and repel her by any more coarse ideas and
+base interpretations."
+
+I paid no attention to these last remarks, which seemed to me wholly
+unworthy of Jane. Strange, that one who at times displays so much
+intelligence and even, as Hartman calls it, discernment, can in other
+things be so unappreciative and almost low-minded. Coarse ideas,
+indeed! Well, never mind that now: let me meditate on this prospect
+which she has opened to my view. So Clarice is coming to me: she knows I
+am her best friend after all. Little Clarice, how often have I dandled
+her on my knee in the years that have gone by! Dear little
+Clarice----BOSH! What an infernal fool a man can make of himself over a
+pretty woman in trouble! I am sometimes almost tempted to think that, as
+she delicately hinted, there must be an uncommon soft spot in my upper
+story. It is bad enough to show it when the girl is by; let me preserve
+my balance till then. When she wants to talk to me, I will hear what she
+has to say.
+
+
+
+
+XVII.
+
+CONSOLATION.
+
+
+Sure enough about a week after this Clarice came to me as I was smoking
+a surreptitious cigar on the rocks, away from the house, after sundown.
+She came and sat down close by me, but I pretended not to notice.
+"Robert," said she. "Well," said I. There is no use in meeting them half
+way when they are willing to come the whole distance: mostly you have to
+do it all yourself, and turn about is fair play.
+
+"Robert, are you angry with me?"
+
+I couldn't help looking at her now, and she shot one of her great
+glances into my face. I melted right down, and so would you have done.
+"Clarice, you know I never could be angry with you five minutes
+together--nor five seconds, if you chose to stop it. What have I got to
+be angry about now?"
+
+"Well, Bob, it wasn't your fault this time."
+
+"No, I trust not. Whose fault was it?"
+
+"Mine, mine. Bob, will you be my friend?" And she put her hand in mine.
+
+"What have I ever been but your friend? Don't you do as you like with
+me--and with all of us? Clarice, you know it hurts me to see you like
+this. And there's poor Hartman."
+
+She pulled away from me. "What has Mr. Hartman to do with it? Who was
+talking of him?"
+
+"Miss Elliston," I said with dignity, "the First of April is past some
+time ago. What do you want to be playing these games on me for?"
+
+"O, don't 'Miss Elliston' me, Bob. Don't you understand women yet?"
+
+"No, I'll be shot if I do; and I never expect to. That will do for young
+beginners, who think they know everything. I've seen too much of you to
+pretend to understand you. Why don't you speak out and come straight to
+the point?"
+
+"Why, you goose, that's not our nature. Speaking out and going straight
+to the point will do for great clumsy things like you and Mr. Hartman."
+
+"Well, I am a great clumsy thing, as you justly observe. It's very
+pleasant to have you come to me like this, Princess, and I wish you
+would do it oftener; it's mighty little I've seen of you of late. But
+though it would meet my views to prolong this session indefinitely, I
+suppose you want something of me, or you wouldn't be so sweet. It may
+seem an improbable statement, but I would rather help you out of this
+scrape than enjoy your society even--that's saying a good deal, but it's
+true. Yes, I'm fool enough for that."
+
+"I know you are, dear," she said, very low and sweetly. Now what was it
+she knew? You can take that two ways. All the compliments I get are so
+ambiguous. But this did not occur to me till afterwards. So I went on
+with my usual manly simplicity.
+
+"Then you know there's no need of circumlocution and feminine wiles when
+you want anything of me, Princess. You have but to speak, and, as the
+Frenchman said, 'If it is possible, it shall be done: if it is
+impossible, I can only regret that I can't do it.' What do you want me
+to do now?"
+
+"Nothing, Bob; nothing but to listen to me and be good."
+
+"I am listening, Clarice: I've been listening all this time." This was
+not quite true, for I had done most of the talking; but then what I said
+was not of much account. When I am with her I often talk just to fill
+the gaps.
+
+"You can listen when I am ready to talk, and keep quiet till then. I
+only want your sympathy."
+
+"You have it, Clarice; you have it most fully. Come rest on this bosom,
+my own stricken dear--"
+
+"I don't want to rest on your bosom, Bob; your shoulder is big enough.
+Have you got your best coat on?"
+
+"Well, no; this is not the one I wore at dinner. But I will go to the
+house and get my clawhammer if you wish."
+
+"No, no. I only want to cry a little."
+
+"You would be perfectly welcome to cry on my best coat every day of the
+week, Princess, and I would get a new one as often as it might be
+needed. I don't wish to make capital out of your grief, my dear; I would
+rather never get a kind word from you than have you suffer. But often it
+seems as if you didn't care for anybody, you are so high and mighty and
+offish; and O doth not an hour like this make amends--"
+
+"Drop that, Bob. Don't try to be sentimental: you always get the lines
+wrong. I've not been here an hour. O, were you joking? You are no more
+in the humor for jokes than I am, and you know it. Do keep quiet."
+
+I did: I 'dropped it.' Clarice will use slang at times, it is one of
+her few faults. Where she learns it, I cannot conceive. It is
+unfeminine, and out of keeping with her whole character; in any one else
+I should call it vulgar. But I saw she did not wish to be disturbed just
+then, so I said no more. Instead, I thought of my guilty secret--her
+secret. It weighs on me heavily; but I can't tell her what I saw and
+heard. I don't know how she would take it; and I don't care to be
+exploding any dynamite bombs about my own premises. The situation is bad
+enough as it is; I'll not make it worse. Poor Clarice! poor Hartman! And
+yet you can't meddle with such high-strung folks. By and by she spoke.
+
+"Bob, do you know why I come to you, instead of to Jane or Mabel?"
+
+I was on the point of quoting Jane's valuable idea about my being a man,
+but refrained.
+
+"I could not ask any woman for what you give me. And you are half a
+woman, Bob; you are so patient and loyal. Nobody else would be that."
+
+"But Mabel and Jane love you too, dear. They would do anything for you."
+
+"Yes, but that is more on equal terms. I am so exacting; I want so much,
+and give so little. I suppose I was born so; and you have spoiled
+me--all of you. O, I know I have treated you badly, Robert, often;
+generally, in fact. I am proud and hateful, and you never resent it.
+Only a man can be like that--to a woman: and very few men would be so.
+You are not like other men, Bob: there is nobody like you. You are such
+a useful domestic animal."
+
+Perhaps I was getting unduly exalted when she let me down thus. I wish
+Clarice at least would be less mixed--more continuous and consistent, so
+to speak--when she sets forth my virtues. But one must take the Princess
+as he finds her, and be content with any crumbs of approval she may
+drop. Sometimes I think I am a fool about her; but when she talks as
+she does to-night, I know I am not. There may be more amiable women, and
+plenty more even-tempered; but there is only one Clarice. I may have
+made that remark before, but it will bear repeating. It is not of me she
+is thinking all this time: how should it be? O Hartman, Hartman, if you
+could know what I know, and see what is before you!
+
+Presently she spoke again. "Robert, why don't you ask me what I have
+done? I know you are dying of curiosity."
+
+"I can restrain my curiosity, rather than pry into your affairs, dear.
+When you see fit, you will tell me. But if you wish it, I will ask you."
+
+"No, it would be of no use. I can't tell you now; perhaps never. Robert,
+where did you learn to respect a woman so?"
+
+"Jane says I will never learn it. But I do respect you, Princess."
+
+"That must have been when you had vexed her with some of your blunders:
+you do make blunders, you know? But, Bob, do you know why I love you?"
+
+This moved me so that I had to put myself on guard. She never said so
+much as that before: it is not her way to talk about feelings or profess
+much affection for anybody.
+
+"I suppose because we were brought up together, and you are used to me.
+And, as you say, I am a useful domestic animal. If I can be useful to
+you, I am proud and thankful. I think more of you than I could easily
+say: it is very good of you to give me some small return."
+
+"It is because you have a heart, Robert. They may say what they please
+of your head, but you have a great big heart."
+
+Now was ever the superior male intellect thus disparaged? She must have
+got this notion from Jane; but I can't quarrel with her now.
+
+"Men are great clumsy things, as you said, dear: we have not your tact,
+nor your delicate roundabout methods. You are right, I do make blunders;
+I feel my deficiencies when I am with you. But if my head, such as it
+is, or my heart, or my hand, can ever serve you, they will be ready."
+
+"Suppose I were to leave you, and go out of your life?"
+
+"You could not go out of my life, though you might go far away. I should
+be sorry, but I have no right to hold you. But if you ever wanted me, I
+should always be here."
+
+"Suppose I did something wrong and foolish?"
+
+"I don't want to suppose that, but if I must--it would not be for me to
+judge you, as you told me once. You might do something that did not
+accurately represent your mind and character: since I know them, the
+action would be merely a mistake, a transient incongruity. I don't
+change easily: I have known you from your cradle. And if it was ever
+possible for me to fail you, it is not possible after to-night."
+
+"You are very fond of Mr. Hartman, Robert. What if I quarreled with him?
+Would you take my part against him?"
+
+"I would take your part against the world, Clarice. But he is not of the
+world. A sad and lonely man, burdened with an inverted conscience and
+quixotic fancies that turn the waters into blood, who has come for once
+out of his hermitage to catch a glimpse of the light that never was on
+sea or land, and then to see it turn into darkness for him. I fear he is
+sadder and lonelier now than when I brought him from the woods: but I
+would stake my soul on his honor, as I would on yours. You cannot force
+me into such a dilemma."
+
+A heavenly glow was on her face now, as she looked long at the stars,
+and then at me. "Why are you eloquent only when you speak of him,
+brother?"
+
+"You say I have a heart, Clarice: it is eloquent when I think of you.
+Shall a stranger be more sacred to me than my sister?--and I don't mean
+Jane. You would be sacred to a better man than I, dear, if he knew you
+as I do: you may be so already, for what I can tell. He _could_ not mean
+to sin against you, Princess. If he seemed to fail in respect, or
+courtesy, or anything that was your due, forgive him, and don't banish
+him forever. I trusted that you would have enlightened and converted and
+consoled him: he is worth it."
+
+I longed to say more, but this was as far as I dared go. She sighed.
+
+"Perhaps I need to be converted and consoled myself. But that is
+ungrateful; with such a comforter at hand I ought not to be miserable.
+We never knew each other like this before, Robert. Why is it?"
+
+"I don't know, Clarice--or rather I do, of course. It takes the moon,
+and stars, and a common trouble, to bring people together, even when
+they see each other every day; and then concurring moods must help. One
+stands in awe of you, Princess; I always shall. You only tolerated me
+when you were happy: I was rough, and careless, and stupid, and made bad
+jokes in the wrong places. I will try to do better after this, so that
+you need not be repelled when you want me. Hartman, now, is of finer
+mould than I: if you would let him come back--"
+
+"No more of that now, dear. Let us go in. The moon is going down: it is
+getting cold and dark." So it was; and damp too--on my shoulder at
+least. "I am glad you had your old coat on," she said.
+
+Mabel was alone in the parlor. "Well," she began; then she saw our
+faces, and modified her tone. "The moonlight was very fine, I suppose?"
+
+"You know you never will go out in the evening," said Clarice. "It is
+later than I thought. Don't scold Robert; he has been a dear good boy."
+She kissed her, and went upstairs.
+
+"Mabel," said I, "Clarice is in trouble." I had to say something, and
+this was perfectly safe. You see, she had told me nothing, and so I
+could say if asked. But I wasn't.
+
+"I know that, of course, Robert: I have seen it all along. She is a dear
+girl, for all her flightiness. She will say nothing to me. I hope it
+will come right. If you can help or comfort her, I shall be glad." Then
+she too went to bed.
+
+It is unusual for Mabel to be surprised into such candor. I got a cigar,
+and went out on the porch to meditate. Jane thought that Clarice would
+tell me things. Yes, I have got a lot of information. Let me see, I am a
+useful domestic animal, and I have a big heart: that's about the size of
+it. At this rate, I can soon write a Cyclopaedia. Well, cold facts are
+not all there is in life: there are some things the Cyclopaedias fail to
+tell us about. I don't regard the last few hours as altogether wasted.
+
+After this the Princess and I did not talk much: there seemed to be no
+need of it. But she was a new and revised edition of the old Clarice,
+wonderfully sweet, and gracious, and equable; and her look when we met
+was like the benediction in answer to prayer, as Longfellow says. I went
+about with a solemn feeling, as if I had just joined the Church. What
+does a fellow want with slang, and pipes, and beer, and cheating other
+fellows on the street, when he has such entertainments at home? And yet
+it cuts me to the soul to look at her: I _must_ do something to bring
+them together. Pretty soon we went back to New York.
+
+
+
+
+XVIII.
+
+AGAINST EARNESTNESS.
+
+
+Jane, and even Mabel, have the idea that I am of light and shallow
+nature; and sometimes I think they are right. It must be so; for your
+profound and serious characters have a weakness for sorrow, and
+luxuriate in woe--whereas I object to trouble of any kind, and cannot
+get used to it. The house has been like a rural cemetery for near two
+months, and it simply bores me. Hartman now prefers to dwell among the
+tombs: he has lived these ten years in a graveyard, so to speak, under a
+canopy of funereal gloom, and he thrives on it. He and Clarice are the
+most superior persons I know; and they have gone and got themselves into
+a peck, or rather several bushels, of trouble, about nothing at all.
+They must like it, or why should they do it? I doubt if I can ever be
+educated up to that point. I have the rude and simple tastes of a child:
+sunshine seems to me better than shade (except during the heated term),
+and pleasure more desirable than pain. I like to be comfortable myself,
+and to have every one else so. Imagine Mabel getting miffed at me, or I
+at her, over some little two-penny affair of unadvised expressions! She
+often says unkind things to me: if I took an earnest view of life, and
+were full of deep thought and fine feeling, probably I should have to
+take her criticisms to heart, and go away in a hurry and never come
+back. I sometimes make blunders worse than that one of Hartman's, and no
+harm worth mentioning ever comes of them--though I do have to be careful
+with the Princess. No doubt I am frivolous and superficial; but people
+of my sort appear to get along more easily, and to make less trouble for
+themselves and others, than those whose standards are so much higher.
+If I had the managing of this business, I could set it right inside a
+week--or in two days, if Jim were not so far away. It is merely to say
+to him, "Your language was unparliamentary. It is not etiquette to
+assume that a lady cares for you when you have not asked her to. You
+have no right to resent her resenting such unconventional behavior. You
+owe her an apology: go and make it like a man, and withdraw the
+offensive epithet, term, phrase, clause, or sentence, which ever it
+might be." Then I would say to her, "He meant no harm. How do you expect
+a member from Wayback to be posted on all the usages of metropolitan
+society? You ought not to have come down on him so hard. Let the man say
+he is sorry, and forgive him. You were mainly to blame yourself; but
+seeing it is you, we'll pass that." Then I would stand over them like
+the heavy father in the plays, and say, "You love each other. Take her,
+Jim: take him, Clarice. Bless you, my children." That is the way it
+ought to be done, and that is the way I would fix it if it concerned
+common every-day people like myself, with no pretence to qualities
+higher than practicability and common sense--supposing such people could
+have got into such a mess, which I own is improbable. A method that
+would answer for them is not so easily applied to these superfine
+specimens, who have taken such pains to build themselves a private
+Purgatory, and keep it going on a limited supply of fuel. They might
+resent intrusion on their agreeable demesne, and put up a board with 'No
+Trespassing' on it; but then they ought to keep the place fenced in
+better: as it is, the smoke and heat spread too much. They might say,
+'If we enjoy our misery, what right have the rest of you to interfere?'
+Yes, but what right have they to rope in the rest of us, who are not so
+addicted to the luxury of grief, and make us miserable too? That's what
+it comes to. 'Each man's life is all men's lesson,' and each woman's
+too. Now if our high-toned friends had kept this particular part of
+their lives in manuscript, and not supplied us with copies, but reserved
+it for spelling out in secret at their own leisure, the case would be
+different. As it stands, this embroglio is a lesson which I have got by
+heart and am tired of: I would like to set it aside and turn to
+something more cheerful. Moreover, as the head of a family I have duties
+in the matter, for it affects us all. I don't mind so much about Jane:
+she thinks this is a XX. romance, which the parties chiefly concerned
+are conducting in the most approved manner; if she had one of her own, I
+suppose this would be her style--her idea of how the thing should be
+done.[1] It is not mine, however; far from it. Shall I sit passive, and
+see the clouds of care growing heavier about the wife of my bosom, and
+the furrows deepening in that once marble brow? She looks two years
+older than she did two months ago, and she owns it. I have three lovely
+children: how brief a space it is since they played in the abandonment
+of infant glee! And now their young existence, too, is darkened. Herbert
+no longer slides down the banisters, with his former recklessness, but
+sits and looks wistfully at Cousin Clarice. The change involves a saving
+in lint and arnica, but a loss of muscular development. You see, we are
+all of the sympathetic--which is the expensive--temperament: we have not
+sense enough to be content each with his or her own personal affairs,
+and let the others arrange their private funerals at their own charge.
+There is more truth than I thought in part of what I told Hartman, that
+night on the boat.
+
+This thing must stop. I will have to ask the Princess if she wants our
+humble abode to be a house of mourning much longer. We might accommodate
+her in that respect for another month or two, but not permanently.
+Lovers are so selfish: they don't care if they upset all your domestic
+arrangements, and spoil your harmonies with the discord of their sweet
+bells jangled. It ought not to be encouraged, nor yet allowed.
+
+[Footnote 1: I was wholly mistaken in this, as will appear by the next
+chapter. _R. T._]
+
+
+
+
+XIX.
+
+CONSPIRACY.
+
+
+The summer has not done for any of us what it ought; quite the reverse.
+Even I am not in my usual form, if Mabel and Jane are right. They had
+let me alone for some time: last night they attacked me together--a
+preconcerted movement, obviously.
+
+"Robert, you are pale, almost haggard. You need a change."
+
+"Why," said I, "I've just had a change--or rather several of them. We've
+been back only three weeks."
+
+"You need mountain air: the sea does not agree with you. And Newport is
+not what it used to be."
+
+"It's a good deal more so, if you mean that; but I don't know that its
+increased muchness has damaged my health to any great extent."
+
+"You prefer small, remote places, and their way of life; you know you
+do. They are more of a change from town. You bought the house at Newport
+for our sakes. I have often feared you were sacrificing yourself to
+us--with your usual disinterestedness, dear."
+
+"Well, my usual disinterestedness is ready to be worked again, to any
+reasonable extent, if you will say what you're after. But how can I
+leave the business now?"
+
+"O, the business!" (It was Jane this time.) "That is all very fine, when
+you don't want to leave town. But I notice that the business never
+interferes with any of your junketings. What are your clerks paid for?
+Can't they attend to the business?"
+
+"A fine idea you women have of business, and a fine success you'd make
+of it. Jane, suppose you take charge in Water Street while I am away."
+
+"I don't doubt I could do it quite as well as you, after a little
+practice. Why, brother, Mr. Pipeline understands it a great deal better
+than you do. Our father, in his later years, trusted him entirely."
+
+"Yes, Robert," said Mabel, "and how often you have assured me that Mr.
+Pipeline was absolutely competent and reliable. When we were married,
+and a hundred times since, you explained your carelessness and
+indifference about the business by saying that all was right while old
+Mr. Pipeline was there: he knew everything, and kept the whole force to
+their work. It was that, you said, which enabled you to be so much more
+about the house than most men could be, and so attentive and
+satisfactory as a husband and father."
+
+She had me there: who would expect a woman to remember things and bring
+them up in this way, so long after? So I tried to turn it off.
+
+"O, well, he hasn't gone to Canada yet: the books seem straight, and the
+returns are pretty fair. But it is well for the head of the firm to look
+in occasionally, all the same."
+
+"You do look in occasionally, Robert: no one can accuse you of
+neglecting that duty. Would I have married a man who neglected duty, and
+allowed his business to go to ruin, and his family to come to want? Your
+conscience may rest perfectly easy on that score, dear."
+
+"O, thank you: it does. I've not often allowed the state of the oil
+market to interfere with sleep or appetite, or with my appreciation of
+you and the children. Family duties first, my dear; what so sacred, so
+primary, as the ties of Home? But such virtue is not always duly prized
+there. I'm glad you do me justice."
+
+"I always have, Robert; always. Whatever Jane and others might say about
+your levity and your untimely jests and so forth, I have steadily
+maintained that you had a good heart."
+
+"There, Jane, do you hear that? Mabel knows, for she is in a position to
+know."
+
+"Of course, brother, we are all aware of that. If you had not that one
+redeeming trait, I should have left you long ago, even if I had had to
+get married. You admire Artemus Ward: he had a giant mind, you
+recollect, but not always about him. So with your good heart at times.
+But we are wandering from the point. Mabel, you were showing him how he
+could go away for a week or two without neglecting his important duties
+down town."
+
+"Why yes, Robert. You have been here three weeks now, and I am sure you
+have been at the store nearly every day. Indeed, when you were not at
+home, or at the club, or somewhere about town, I doubt not you might be
+found in Water Street a good part of the time."
+
+"Yes," I said with an air of virtuous complacency, "I believe you are
+right. I can't deny it, though it may help your side of the argument."
+
+"Well then, you can surely be spared during a brief absence. And when
+you return, you can continue to look in occasionally, as you say."
+
+"Perhaps I could, though it is not well to be too positive. Where do you
+think I ought to go?"
+
+"Well, you are fond of fishing and hunting. You might go up and spend a
+week with Mr. Hartman. You found good sport there, you said."
+
+"O yes, there are trout enough, and deer not far off, he told me. But I
+was there in May. And it is not very comfortable at Hodge's, if you
+remember."
+
+"But of course this time you would stay with Mr. Hartman. You refused
+his invitation before, and it was hardly civil to such an old friend."
+
+"He has a mere bachelor box, my dear, and I hardly like to thrust myself
+on him."
+
+"Why, Robert, I am surprised at you. After Mr. Hartman spent a fortnight
+with us at Newport--and when he has written you twice, urging you to
+come. Can't you see that the poor man is lonely, and really wants you?"
+
+"Mabel, it would be all very well if it were like last May--only he and
+I to be considered. But here is that blessed entanglement of his with
+Clarice--quarrel, or love-making nipped in the bud, or whatever it
+was--that complicates matters. After all the lectures I've had from you
+two, I don't want to complicate them any more, nor to meddle in her
+affairs, nor appear to. Suppose I go up there, and he wants news of her,
+and anything goes wrong, or it simply doesn't come right as you expect;
+I'd have your reproaches to bear ever after, and perhaps those of my own
+conscience. You're not sending me off simply for my health, or for a
+little fishing. If I go to Hartman, the sport will not be the main item
+on the programme; and that every one of us knows perfectly well. So I
+don't move till I see my way straight."
+
+Finding me thus unexpectedly firm, Jane looked at Mabel, and Mabel
+looked at Jane, and there was a pause. You see, in this last deliverance
+I had uttered my real mind--or part of it--and it naturally impressed
+them.
+
+My sister's share in the discussion had thus far been confined to the
+few efforts at sarcasm duly credited to her above--let no one say that I
+am unjust to Jane. She had been watching me pretty closely, but I hardly
+think she saw anything she was not meant to see. Now she came to the
+front, looking very serious--as we all did, in fact.
+
+"Well, brother, some things are better understood than spoken--from our
+point of view. But if you insist on having all in plain words, and
+playing, as you call it, with cards on the table--"
+
+"Just so," said I. "You use your feminine tools: I use mine, which are a
+man's. If I have to do this piece of work, it must be on my own
+conditions and after my own fashion, with the least risk of
+misunderstanding."
+
+"Robert, if this is affectation, you are a better actor than I thought.
+But if you really know no more than we do--"
+
+This was too much for Mabel. "Now, Jane, you go too far. Robert likes
+his little joke, but he knows when to be serious. Why do you suspect him
+so?"
+
+Jane went on. "Of course it is possible he may be no deeper in Clarice's
+confidence than we: she is very reticent. You mean, brother, that you
+will do nothing till she authorizes you?"
+
+"Well, as I said, this is her affair. For you, or me, or anybody else,
+to meddle in it without her direction, or permission--unless in case of
+obvious extremity--would seem, by all rules alike ethical and
+prudential, a delicate and doubtful proceeding, to say the least."
+
+"I suppose you are right there. Mabel, you may as well tell him. Robert,
+don't think, from all this preamble, that it is of more importance than
+it would otherwise seem. Perhaps we might as well have told you at once;
+but we are only women, you know. Now at last we are using your
+tools--the tools you always use with such manly consistency--candor and
+open speech. Tell him, Mabel."
+
+"Robert dear, Clarice told me to-day that you were looking badly; she
+thought you needed a change. 'Is he not going off for his fall fishing?'
+she said."
+
+"Is that all?"
+
+"It is a good deal for her," said Jane. "If you want more, ask her. Are
+you less concerned for her happiness than we are? Must we arrange all
+the preliminaries? Brother, if _I_ could do anything, no fear of
+consequences or reproaches should tie my hands: I would do what is
+right, and take the chances. If I stood where you do, I would have this
+matter settled, or know why it could not be. I would never sit idle, and
+see two such lives spoiled--and all our hearts broken. O, I know you
+love them both. But you are so cautious--unnecessarily and absurdly so
+at times, and wedded to useless diplomacy, when only the plain speech
+you talk about is needed. You stand in awe of Clarice too much: you may
+wait too long. Forgive me, Robert; but whatever she may say, you _must_
+see Mr. Hartman before winter."
+
+I could have embraced Jane, besides forgiving her slurs on me, which may
+contain an element of truth. There is more in her than I have supposed;
+and of course what she insists on is exactly what I have all along meant
+to do. But it did not come in handy to say so at this point. "I'll think
+it over. You two had better go to bed: I must go out and smoke."
+
+"Robert," said Mabel, "don't go out to-night. You can smoke in the
+dining-room."
+
+"No; I'll not take a base advantage of your present amiable mood. But I
+tell you what it is; if you want to get Hartman here in cold weather you
+must let us have a snuggery. He can't do without his tobacco."
+
+It was a fine night, and I wanted a walk as well as a smoke. I felt
+gratified, for this thing had gone just as I desired. I am not quite so
+impulsive as Jane, and I understand the difficulties as she does not;
+but my plan has merely waited for events to give it definite shape and
+make it feasible. Certainly I must see Hartman, and as he can't come
+here, I must go there. But I wanted the women to suggest my going; that
+divides the responsibility, and gives them a hand in the game. I would
+have had to propose it myself within a week or so, if they had not
+spoken. But the Princess knows what she is about, and what is fit and
+proper. It may seem strange that she should speak to Mabel instead of to
+me; but she will say what she has to say to me before I start. In fact,
+I'll not start till she does--how could I? It is her business I am going
+on, with just enough of my own to give it a color. I'll write to Jim at
+once, to ask when he wants me: the mails are slow up there, and it may
+be a week before his answer comes. That will give me time to get my
+instructions, and not be in any unseemly haste to seek them either. So
+far, so good; but there is more to be done, and delicate work too, such
+as will bear no scamping. It is the biggest contract you ever undertook,
+R. T., and you must make a neat job of it.
+
+
+
+
+XX.
+
+APOLOGY FOR LYING.
+
+
+If you do not understand my waiting for Mabel and the girls to prompt
+this move, and allowing them to urge it against my apparent reluctance,
+I ascribe this failure on your part to lack of experience, rather than
+to any deeper deficiency. Some men like to make a parade of
+independence, and to do--or pretend to do--everything of themselves,
+without consulting or considering their womankind. But such are not the
+sort I choose my friends from; for I have been accustomed to regard both
+brain and heart as desirable appurtenances to a man. There is little
+Bruteling, at the club, who would like to be considered a man of the
+world--but I can't waste space or time on him. And I have met family men
+even--but I don't meet them more than once if I can help it--who regard
+their wives and sisters as playthings, dolls, upper-class servants, not
+to be trusted, taken into their confidence, or treated with any real
+respect. Such heresies have no place under a Christian civilization,
+which has exalted Woman to her true rank as the equal and helpmeet of
+Man, the object of his tenderest affections and most loyal services. It
+is in his domestic life that one's true character is shown; and Home is
+not only the dearest place on earth to me and to every one whose head is
+level, but the stage on which his talents and qualities are best brought
+out.
+
+You think that I don't practice what I preach; that I introduce within
+those sacred precincts too much of play-acting and small diplomacy, as
+Jane says; that even at this moment my thoughts and intentions in a
+matter which concerns us all are imperfectly revealed to my nearest and
+dearest? Ah, that is owing to the difference between the sexes, and to
+the singular lines on which the Sex was constructed, mentally speaking.
+I don't wish to criticize the Architect's plans, but it seems to me I
+could suggest improvements which might have simplified relations, and
+avoided much embarrassment. The difficulty is that women, as a rule, can
+neither use nor appreciate Frankness. Just after I was married, I
+thought it was only the fair thing to tell Mabel about several girls I
+had been sweet on before I knew her. Would you believe it, she burst
+into tears, and upbraided me with my brutality; and she brings up that
+ill-advised disclosure against me to this day. I know several ladies who
+will not lie, under ordinary circumstances--not for the mere pleasure of
+it, at least; Clarice, for instance, and Jane, I believe; but not one
+who will tell the whole truth, or forgive you for telling it. Well,
+well, we have to take them as they are, and make the best of them: they
+have other redeeming traits, as Jane says of me. In heaven these
+inequalities will be done away, and one can afford to speak out--at
+least I hope so. But meantime you can see how these feminine
+peculiarities hamper a man, and check his natural candor, and impose on
+him a wholly new, or at least a hugely modified, ethical code. If I were
+to follow my original bent, which was uncommonly direct and guileless, I
+should be in hot water all the time. It is this struggle between nature
+and--well, I can hardly call it grace; let us say necessity, or
+environment--which is making me bald, and fat, and aging me so fast. You
+have seen, in the course of this narrative, what scrapes I have gotten
+into by speaking before I stopped to think, and blurting out the simple
+truth. I was once as honest as they are ever made--and for practical and
+domestic uses nearly an idiot. I have been obliged, actually forced, to
+deny myself the indulgence of a virtue, and diligently to cultivate the
+opposite vice. The preachers don't know everything: I could give them
+points. I don't say I have succeeded remarkably, and the exercise has
+been deeply painful to me; but it was absolutely essential, if I was to
+be fit for the family circle, and able to do or get any good in this
+imperfect world. There is no escape, unless you live in a hermitage like
+Hartman. You may have noticed that my loved ones sometimes appear to
+treat me with less than absolute respect and confidence: it is the
+result of this life-conflict, which has left me with a character mixed,
+and in one respect wrecked. But they would think much worse of me than
+they do if I told them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the
+truth, on all occasions. Thus I might--and then again I might not--go to
+our poor Princess, and say, "Clarice, Mabel and Jane think I ought to
+see Hartman. I think so too, and they report you as concurring in the
+verdict. This is delicately put under cover of my health and the fall
+fishing; but we all know that you and Jim want looking after more than I
+do, and that bigger game than trout is to be caught. Tell me what you
+want me to say to him and do with him, and I will start at once." Some
+women might stand that, possibly, but not the ones I am used to: such
+would be eminently the way not to attain my benevolent end. No, no; you
+can do nothing in such cases without finesse, as Jim calls it, and
+strategy, and tact, and management; and if you have not these gifts by
+nature, you must acquire them, whatever they may cost. I still hold to
+my principles; but I don't propose to run them into the ground. In
+morality, as elsewhere, a little too much is apt to be worse than much
+too little; and theory and practice are very different things, not to be
+rashly confounded. You want to hold the right theories, and then to live
+as near them as depraved mundane conditions will allow. The manly
+weapons of which Jane spoke so scornfully last night are the right
+ones--when you can use them. In the case in hand, to tell all I know
+would have been at any time, and would still be, impossible and ruinous.
+Hartman is not so far out on some points: as he says, we did not arrange
+the present scheme of things, and could not be proud of it if we had.
+
+You may say, and I could not deny, that my diplomacy, such as it is, is
+not always employed for the benefit of women only. Hartman is a luminous
+and transparent soul--too much so for his own good: why did I practise
+occasionally on him? I can explain that best on general principles.
+
+In a world a majority of whose inhabitants are female, demoralization
+has naturally extended far and wide, till strict veracity has become
+unpractical. The first falsehood (after the serpent's) must have been
+humiliating to him who uttered it, and a fatal example to those who
+heard; but mankind soon grew used to the new fashion. I pass over the
+rude barbarian ages, whose gross and inartistic lying offers no claim to
+respectful and sympathetic interest, and no excuse but the lame one of
+selfish depravity, common to the race. But with the inroads of
+civilization Life became complex, and Truth was found too simple and
+rigid to fit with all its varied intricacies. That is, when Truth _is_
+simple. "Don't you think my baby beautiful?" demands a fond parent. "No,
+I don't: far from it." That is the truth; but its naked and repulsive
+brutality demands to be clothed with the garb of humane and graceful
+fiction. "Prisoner at the bar, are you guilty or not guilty?" He is
+guilty, of course; but if he says so, it is a dead give-away. In this
+case indeed the interests of Truth are one with those of Society, though
+not of the prisoner; but often it is different. The basis of ethics, our
+moralists say, is as largely utilitarian as it is ideal. If so, is there
+any special sacredness about cold facts, that they should get up on end
+and demand to be published everywhere continually? Truth ought to be
+modest, and not claim all the observances and honors, seeing there are
+so many other deities whom we poor mortals are no less bound to worship.
+When Grotius' wife lied to the policeman about her husband's
+whereabouts, the lie was an act of piety, whereas truthtelling would
+have been murderous infidelity. If the minions of the law were after me,
+would I thank Mabel and Jane and Herbert for telling them which way I
+had gone? There is no more aggravated nuisance than he who insists on
+exposing all he knows at all times and places--as I used to do before I
+learned these tricks. Look at poor Hartman, ejecting his honest
+backwoods thought without asking whether it was a wise and decent
+offering to his small but highly select audience; and see what trouble
+he has brought on himself and all of us thereby.
+
+This outspokenness is often mere self-indulgence. Take me, for instance:
+to this day, in spite of all the lessons I have had, it is far easier
+and pleasanter for me to tell the truth than not. People of this
+temperament must learn to put a check on nature. Self-indulgence is
+bad, all agree, and self-denial useful and necessary. This is the way
+virtues clash and collide. I say, confound such a world. What is a plain
+man to do in it? As the poet sings, the _Summum Bonum_ belongs in
+heaven, and you can't expect to get at it here, but must simply do the
+best you can, which is generally not very good. And then, as another
+poet puts it, very likely nobody will appreciate your efforts, but you
+will get cuffed for them: we are punished for our purest deeds, and so
+forth.--But this is trenching on Hartman's province. It is well that I
+should think all this out now: I can talk it over with him before we get
+to business. He will want sympathy with his notions about the depravity
+of things in general, and that will smooth the way, and make him willing
+to open up on the specific woe that lies nearest.
+
+To return to our muttons. The guilt of duplicity has lain heavy on my
+conscience for two months, but how can I help it? I don't so much mind
+keeping what I know from Mabel and Jane, for it is not their affair. But
+it is Clarice's affair--most eminently so--and I had promised solemnly
+to tell her at once when I knew or thought of anything that concerned
+her. It was obviously impossible to keep my promise in this case--not on
+my account, but on hers. It will not be easy to tell even Jim that I
+overheard their last colloquy, and witnessed the tragical parting scene:
+I'll have to watch my opportunities, and spring that on him just at the
+right moment, when it will have the best effect. Now any one who knows
+Clarice must see that to tell her this would be to take the most awful
+risks, and probably to destroy all chance of reconciling them; that is
+level to the meanest apprehension, I judge. No sir: it can't be done
+till I have seen Jim, and got things in train. Properly handled, the
+secret--that is, my possession of it, which is a second secret, almost
+as weighty as the original one--may be a tool to manage both these
+intractable subjects with, and bring them to terms: in a fool's hands,
+and thrown about promiscuously, it would be an infernal machine to blow
+us up. No: I'll take whatever guilt there is, rather than hurt Clarice
+now and hereafter. Do you want to know my opinion of a man who is always
+and only thinking about keeping his hands clean and his conscience at
+peace, so that he can't do a little lying--or it might be other
+sinning--on adequate occasion, to serve his friends or a good cause? I
+think he is a cad, sir--a low-minded cad; and of such is not the kingdom
+of heaven. It may not occur every day: it might not do to insert in the
+text-books as a rule; but once in a while there may be better businesses
+than saving one's soul and keeping one's conscience void of offense.[2]
+
+I am arguing against my own nature in all this. In my heart I love Truth
+above all things, and follow and serve her with a devotion that is
+probably exaggerated. But I can't help seeing that there are two kinds
+of her. When she is simple and obvious, she seems to reside in bare
+facts, which we may easily respect too much, for what are they but
+blackguard carnalities? Preraphaelitism in art, Realism in literature,
+might be all very well if they would keep their place--which is in the
+kitchen. Some may want pots and pans, and scullions, and pigs' feet, and
+ribs of beef described. I don't myself; but it is a free country, and
+vivid and accurate portraiture of these delicacies may constitute the
+main charm of literature for some readers, possibly. But Realism wants
+to take its pots and pans into the parlor: it always overdoes things. "A
+daisy by the river's brim a yellow daisy was to him, and it was nothing
+more." Well, what else should it be?--But perhaps I have not got that
+right. Pass on to our next head.
+
+Truth is not always simple--by no means always. Often she is highly
+complex, and as much mixed as I was just now; and then you don't know
+where she is, or what she is, and it gets to be all guesswork. One says,
+Here, and another says, There: the philosophers upset each other's
+schemes in turn, the theologians hurl reciprocal excommunications, the
+scientists of to-day laugh at those of last year. If Pilate meant it
+this way, we owe him some sympathy and respect. "Speak the truth and
+shame the devil," they say. Bah! [I think this expletive ought to be
+spelt _Baa_.] When you know what the truth is, you are more likely to
+shame your friends, and become obnoxious and ridiculous. And in most
+cases you don't know, and if you suppose you do, you are mistaken. I
+have thought out a way of approximating Truth on a large scale, and more
+nearly than most succeed in doing; but this is a big topic, and I had
+better keep it to entertain Hartman with.
+
+O yes; I was to explain why I sometimes use roundabout methods even with
+him. If you tell all you know to everyone you meet, or disclose your
+real character, it will generally be a waste of good material which
+might better be economized. By the way, what _is_ my real character? How
+should I know? One sees one side of it, another another. I see all that
+have turned up yet, but there may be many more, thus far latent; and how
+am I to harmonize them all, and take the average of a succession of
+phenomena? I am complex, like Truth.
+
+But I must not interrupt myself any more. Let us fall back on the
+utilitarian basis of ethics. You see, if I had talked like this to Jim
+when we met last May, he would have put himself on guard and begun to
+study me, whereas I wanted to draw him out--as I did. I have no
+objection to people studying me when I don't care to study them; but
+when there is anything to be done for them you have got to understand
+them first, and to this end it is best to appear simple and not distract
+their minds from the contemplation and disclosure of their own
+qualities: you can play on their vanity if your own does not stand in
+the road. Hartman has a fine mind, but in his innocent rural way he took
+for granted that I had stood still since we were together at college. So
+I played to his lead, and pretended, for instance, to know nothing about
+poetry; whereas, as you must have noticed, I am pretty well read, and my
+memory is remarkably copious and accurate. (Clarice did indeed say that
+I sometimes got the lines wrong; but what she meant was that the
+passages I quoted in my well-meant efforts to console her were of too
+gay a character for her melancholy mood.)
+
+In this way I secured Jim's regard and confidence, which I am using for
+his good: if I had put myself forward, and been anxious to impress him
+with my importance, he might have looked on me with the cynical
+indifference which is all the feeling he can afford to most people, and
+I should never have got him out of the woods. So when I was taking him
+to Newport, I said what it was desirable to say, and omitted what was
+not: how else should a rational man talk? And that first night there, I
+took the tone that he required, as a host is bound to do: sacred are the
+duties of christian hospitality. Poor Jim is as good as a play; he takes
+Life in such dead earnest, and expects his friends to be rampant
+idealists too: so I mounted the high horse for once to gratify him. He
+will never forget that, nor cease to respect me accordingly: he thinks I
+was serious then, and joking at all other times. You and I of course
+understand that Life is but a series of appearances; and if I seem to
+contradict myself, to say one thing on one page and its opposite on the
+next, I am only reporting the various phases assumed by facts without
+and moods within. 'The shield is gold.' 'No, it is silver.' Well, shall
+we fight about that? Probably it is both. A thing may be black in one
+light, and white in another, for what I know. Of all fools the positive
+philosophers seem to me the worst; and the most abject kind of conceit
+is that of alleged consistency. Why will you insist on a definiteness
+which has so little place in nature? The world is a chameleon, and you
+and I are smaller copies of it.
+
+I must try to explain all this to Hartman, and make him see that it is
+time he took on another color. He has been down in the depths all this
+while; now let him get up on the heights. But he would never do it of
+himself, nor without the management of a more practical mind. If I took
+things as he does, I should be tempted to say, "You monumental idiot, to
+fling a rash word at a girl as proud as Lucifer, and then to take her
+hasty repartee as a final verdict from doomsday book!" Happily there is
+one person around with sense enough to see that both these moon-struck
+babes are forgivable, and therefore capable of such bliss as may be
+found in a world of which the best to be said is that we are in very
+small measure responsible for it. They were both foolish, of course; but
+what proportion does their joint offence bear to their punishment--and
+ours? That is the Order of Things--this blessed and beautiful Kosmos.
+
+[Footnote 2: The unwary reader may possibly need to be reminded that R.
+T. is not to be taken too seriously, especially in this his Apology for
+Lying.--_Pub._]
+
+
+
+
+XXI.
+
+JANE TO THE RESCUE.
+
+
+It may seem unfeeling in me to indulge in dissertations like the above
+at so critical a juncture: but they serve to fill the time while I am
+waiting for marching orders. I have written to Jim, and that is all I
+can do at present. Jane thinks differently: she ought to have been a
+man, she is so fond of action. She got me in a corner to-day.
+
+"Well, brother?"
+
+"Well, Jane?"
+
+"What have you done?"
+
+"Done? what should I do?"
+
+"Use a man's tools, that you are so fond of; plain speech, if no more.
+Have you spoken to Clarice yet?"
+
+"No: why should I speak to her? She spoke to Mabel, not to me."
+
+"Robert, are you ever sincere in anything? When _I_ profess affection
+for people, I am ready to serve them at their need."
+
+"So am I, and Clarice knows it. She is perfectly aware that I am ready
+to do this thing, or any other thing within my power, for her at any
+time. It is easy for her to say what she wants."
+
+"Brother, you are _so_ stupid! Don't you know that it is excessively
+difficult for her to allude, however remotely, to a matter like this?
+Say what she wants, she would die first. Do you desire to wait for that?
+She is not like the rest of us; and a woman is not like a man. _You_
+could talk for a week, and turn your whole mind inside out, with no
+fatigue--except to your audience; but the faintest reference to what I
+need not name would cost her a painful effort. I told you it was a great
+thing for her to say what she did to Mabel. That ought to have been
+enough for you."
+
+"How could it be enough? Do try to talk sense now, Jane. How can I go
+off blindly on a fool's errand--in her interest, but without commission
+or instructions?"
+
+"Ask her for them, then. It is ungenerous to put on her the burden of
+opening the subject. She is doubtless waiting for you to speak, and
+wondering at your slackness."
+
+"Hanged if I can understand that. How many times have you lectured me
+about showing her proper respect, and restraining my native coarseness,
+and what not; and now you want me to go to her like a trooper or a grand
+inquisitor, and ask about the state of her feelings toward Hartman. I
+can't do it, Jane. When you get into such a scrape, I might try it, if
+you insisted--though it would go against me, as Sir Lancelot said: then
+you could see how you liked it. Clarice wouldn't like it at all; and she
+has deserved better things of me than that."
+
+"She _has_ deserved better things of you than she is getting. I thought
+you loved her as I do. So that was only one of your pretences?"
+
+"I love her too well to harass her; to intrude upon her solitude when
+she does not want me; to pry into her affairs without her consent, and
+destroy what chance there is that she may call me when she is ready."
+
+"She will never be ready, unless we, that are her first friends, come to
+her aid against her own pride and shyness. You think me intrusive--a
+meddlesome old maid, prying into what does not concern me: but, brother,
+she and Mr. Hartman were made for one another. They were deeply
+interested, both of them--I could see it plainly: it would have been
+settled in a few days more, if that wretched misunderstanding had not
+occurred. _He_ may get over it; he is a man, though he did not seem to
+be that kind. But she--she is of the deep, and silent, and constant
+type: she will nurse this hurt till it kills her. I love her, Robert;
+she has nobody but us. She never knew a thing like this before; it is
+her first experience. Other men to her were playthings, or bores; she
+had no friend among them but you. You cannot fancy how hard it is for
+her; harder far than for a younger girl. She is so helpless, for all her
+pride--her pride makes her more helpless to speak or act. If I could
+only help her, now--"
+
+And here, to my amazement, my stately sister broke down in a passion of
+tears and sobs: I never knew her do such a thing before. I patted, and
+petted, and soothed her, and did all that a man of humanity and
+experience does in such cases. I shall apply for the title, Consoler of
+Feminine Woes, since the business of the office comes to me. It will be
+Mabel next, I suppose, and then this thing must stop, unless we begin
+the round afresh. Clarice may naturally want to be comforted once or
+twice more; but I hope soon to remove all further occasion for that.
+Jane and I have not been like this since we were children.
+
+"There, there. Sister dear, I would knock any man down, and insult any
+woman, who said of you what you just said of yourself. You are not an
+old maid, and you might be a society leader if you cared for it: plenty
+of women are who have more years and less looks and manners and brains
+than you. You are as far as possible from a meddler: your fault is that
+you keep too much to yourself. I am sure Clarice would be touched and
+flattered by your interest in her: I should, if you took a quarter as
+much in me. Do you know, I never saw you look so well, or do yourself
+such credit--till now--as night before last. My heart said amen to every
+word you uttered, even when you were girding at me; for you thought I
+deserved it, and in part I did. I will have no more secrets from
+you--except such as I have no right to impart. If you will, we shall be
+friends now, and work together in this thing. You always seemed to
+despise me, Jane; and it is tedious when the affection is all on one
+side."
+
+"Yes: you used to have enough of that with Clarice."
+
+She was feeling better now. As I may have said on some previous
+occasion, a little judicious management will do great things for a
+woman. I must keep this up if I can, and make appropriate responses to
+all her remarks. I have been too hard on Jane in the past. After all,
+the tie between brother and sister is a peculiar one--few more so; and,
+except for the Princess, who is such only by adoption, each of us is all
+the other has got in that line. Perhaps I ought to have thought of this
+earlier.
+
+"Clarice appreciates my virtues better now, as I hope you will. But I
+was going to tell you: I am of one mind and heart with you about this,
+dear. I have always meant to see Hartman this fall, of course; but it
+was better that the suggestion should come from Mabel, you see."
+
+"You do tangle things up so unnecessarily, Robert. Mabel would have
+approved of anything you proposed, as a matter of course."
+
+"Well, my dear, I have no desire to be a dictator in the house, like
+some men. You all have interests and rights to be respected, and I want
+you to have your say."
+
+"We would have it more cheerfully if you would take yours--out plainly,
+in a man's way, you know. Have you written Mr. Hartman?"
+
+"Certainly: that same night, and asked if he wanted me next week. That
+was simple enough. I'm not afraid of _him_."
+
+"I can't see why you should be so afraid of Clarice. You've known her
+all her life, and she is only ten years younger than you. If she were
+but seventeen, now, and a new acquaintance, I might understand it. You
+_must_ have it out with her, Robert. If I adopt her style, perhaps you
+will do as I wish. Remember, we are to work together in this thing, and
+you are of one mind and heart with me about it; so you must let me
+direct you. Mind, now!"
+
+I stared: it was an imitation, gentle and subdued indeed, of the
+Princess as she was in her days of glory--not so long ago, alas!--before
+the rains descended and the winds blew and the storm beat upon her house
+of life: the tones were there, and a hint of the arch looks. Where did
+Jane learn these tricks? And what has come over her? A maiden, even of
+her years, is hardly warmed to life by a few compliments and caresses
+from her own mother's son. Can Hartman have waked her up too? She
+laughed in my face.
+
+"If our plot succeeds, you may be thrown on my society again; and as you
+are going to be so affectionate, I must fill Clarice's place as well as
+I can. Meantime, you had better let me guide you; indeed you had."
+
+"That may be; only don't drive me too hard, please. I'm not what I once
+was: all these emotions are too many for me. Where do you propose to
+guide me to?"
+
+"To Clarice. Will you come now?"
+
+"Scarcely: a nice reception we should get. This is not a case where two
+are better far than one. And then it would be three presently, which
+never answers--when she is one of them. I would rather go alone, and
+much rather not at all. Guide me somewhere else, sweet sister: or you
+can go yourself, if you like. But I don't see why she should stand on
+ceremony with me."
+
+"Not with you, but with her own heart--a more recent acquaintance, and
+much more formidable."
+
+"But that is there all the same, whether I go to her or she comes to
+me."
+
+"Yes, but--can't you see? She dislikes to take the initiative."
+
+"So do I. According to you, she has taken it already."
+
+"Yes, and once is enough. You are so slow, Robert: you require so much
+teaching."
+
+"I know. But don't despair: Hartman says you have improved me a heap,
+between you. You see, the cases are different. None of you are the least
+afraid of me--I should be sorry if you were. But I am afraid of you: you
+are such superior beings. You know you are: you look on my masculine
+dulness with contempt; and so do I. It is my deep and loyal respect for
+a woman--which you said I would never learn. Jane, you hurt me then; you
+have hurt me often. I would have been fonder of you--showed it more, I
+mean; but affection, repulsed, shrank into the shell of indifference. Be
+kind, now, and I will do anything you say. You see, I _am_ getting on."
+
+"I wish you would get on toward the business in hand. A nice time
+Clarice must have had with you. I can see now why she had to keep so
+tight a rein on you, and to rule you by fear. Will you speak to her, or
+will you not?"
+
+"Of course I will, before I go. We can't hear from Jim for several days
+yet. She will probably come to me before that. If not, I'll have to go
+to her. Jane, there are some things that you don't understand, and I
+can't explain."
+
+"Queer things they must be, then. I wonder that a man should be such a
+coward."
+
+"If you were a man, you wouldn't. I don't care to display my courage at
+home, sister. You are harder than Clarice. You want me to be all around
+the circle at once, and whatever I do, you find fault. My dear, ever
+since you spoke, I have been hanging about, to give her a chance to say
+what she wants. How can I stride up to her and shout, 'Here, tell me
+what to say to your runaway lover'? She knows all about it, if you
+don't. I'll wait to-morrow after breakfast; tell her so, if you will.
+She has only to look at me, and I'll ask her, if she wishes. Then you
+can scold me to your heart's content for making a mess of it, and being
+rough and brutal and stupid. Jane, I am doing the best I can. If I could
+put myself absolutely into your hands, and be but a voice and body to
+your mind, it might be an improvement; but unhappily that is not
+feasible at present. Will what I propose answer?"
+
+"Perhaps: I will see. I may have been unjust to you, Robert: you are
+different from most men, and not easy to understand: you like to let
+part of you pass for the whole. Whether you are so easy to rule as you
+pretend to be, I am not sure yet. Well, there is time to find out. If
+you live by your professions, well and good. Kiss me, dear; good-night."
+
+Since Jane has panned out in this unexpected way, I wish I could tell
+her the Secret: she might give me some points. But that is
+impossible--unthinkable, as they say at Concord. Clarice would never
+forgive me: that would be bad, but not the worst. It would be disloyal
+to her--distinctly so. That I've never been yet, and I'm too old to
+begin now. There may be cases in which the end justifies the means, but
+this is not one of them. No: I must dree this weird (if that is the
+expression), and hoe this row, all by myself. If I had been bred in the
+east, I should be tempted to say it was a contumelious responsibility.
+The next time you want to get into difficulties with a lady, James
+Hartman, you must do it on some other premises than mine.
+
+
+
+
+XXII.
+
+AN ORDEAL.
+
+
+Next morning I was nosing about in the library, pretending to be looking
+for a book, when Clarice came to me and said, "I don't think what you
+want is here. Leave business this afternoon, and take me to the Park."
+
+If she were to say, "Leave business this year, and take me to Europe, or
+to Madagascar," I should do it: she would have to arrange the matter
+with Mabel, but that she could do without difficulty, I have not the
+least doubt. It would be a loss to Water Street, and my departure would
+be felt in business circles generally; but they would have to stand it
+as they might. In this case, however, no heavy sacrifice was involved:
+for a few hours, or days, or weeks, Pipeline, as Mabel says, can conduct
+the old stand well enough. What it needs is the feeling that a master
+mind presides over its destinies, though from such a distance as Newport
+or the Wayback woods.
+
+We agreed on an hour--that is, she told me to be at the door at two--and
+I went down town, feeling relieved. It is much better for Clarice to
+take the responsibility of opening communications, and I wish she would
+conduct the whole interview, like a major-general with his aid-de-camp
+or a master plumber sending out his apprentices to mend the
+pipes--leaving me only to take notes of instructions. But that is too
+much to expect. It is a delicate task before me, and my talents for such
+(according to the ladies), are not so eminent that I should be anxious
+to overwork them. I can manage a man, and some women perhaps; but to
+catechize and cross-examine her on a subject as to which pride, and
+honor, and modesty lock a girl's lips--I don't see how I can do it,
+even with her consent. I would rather smoke my pipe through a powder
+mill than hurt you, my poor Princess: my clumsy fingers were never made
+to play about your heartstrings.
+
+I dropped in at Trinity on my way, and put up a prayer; it was that she
+might make it easy for herself, and for me, though that is a minor
+matter--keep the game in her own hands, and tell enough to serve her
+ambassador's need, without his questioning.
+
+She did not keep me waiting: she never had that vice. The change in her
+is not for casual eyes to see. Outwardly, I have fallen off more than
+she has; in fact, I have lost three pounds in these last two months.
+Many a hat was raised, many an envious glance turned toward me, as we
+spun up the avenue. The fellows at the club, and elsewhere, used to
+pester me to introduce them, and I gratified them for a while, till she
+told me she could not have all my acquaintances coming to call, and made
+Mabel say I must leave off bringing men home to dinner. She never was a
+coquette; but what is a girl so endowed to do? They would force
+themselves on her, by dozens, by scores, by hundreds: they overflowed
+the house and took up all her time; they crowded her life, until she
+could stand it no longer and stopped it. That is why we live so quietly
+of late: it is a great improvement. Now, they gaze on her from afar: yet
+she never had difficulty with any of them--till August, alas. That was
+my fault, for bringing in a wild man from the woods, who could not be
+counted on or ruled like the rest, but would flop around in his
+uncircumcised way and break things. I should never forgive myself for
+that, if I did not hope to get matters right--and more so than they ever
+were, for her.
+
+For a time we drove on silently. Then of a sudden, without looking at
+me, she said very quietly, "Jane told me you wanted to see me, Robert."
+
+O Lord, is this to be the shape of it after all? Well, what must be
+must, and I will do my stint as a man may. "Did she say nothing else?"
+
+"That you were afraid to come to me. Have I been so harsh with you, or
+so terrible of late?" Her tone was half arch, half reproachful.
+
+"No, no; far from it. But you know how it is, Clarice. Your trouble is
+ours, and I am a poor surgeon. How can I put a knife into the wound? I
+wish it were mine, and mine only."
+
+"I have brought trouble on you all, brother. I ought to have gone away."
+
+"Never; do you think Mabel and Jane would allow that, any more than I?
+We would all rather break our hearts together, if that need be, than
+have you among strangers now: it would be worse for us, no less than for
+you. When you are happy you may leave us; not till then."
+
+"I know. You love me, here, and bear with me, and for me--though I don't
+deserve it."
+
+"Don't say that--anything but that. My Princess deserves everything--and
+by Jove, she shall have it. If I knew exactly what she wanted, now--"
+
+All this time we had to be smiling and bowing right and left. You can't
+make pretty speeches under such circumstances, or do delicate work. I
+had turned from the main drive, but it was only a little better.
+
+"Let us get out of this, Robert. There are too many people: we can't
+talk here."
+
+We went by streets which you must know, if you are accustomed to have
+this kind of business on hand. I trust you are not: a little of it goes
+a long way. At last we got into a quieter, semi-rural region. Find it
+out for yourself, if you can: I am not going to tell you the exact spots
+made sacred by these confidences. Meantime I had been thinking what to
+say, and it came out with a rush. It is a little easier when you put the
+third person for the second--yes, that is a good idea.
+
+"If I were sure just what she wanted, she should have that thing, if
+there is any power in the human will. But I am clumsy, and thick-headed,
+and make blunders--you have often said so, Clarice, and so has Jane, and
+even Mabel. She I speak of is of finer clay than others. Her nature has
+its own laws, which I can understand only very imperfectly. Yes, you
+know it is so: you have told me that too. O, she need not mind me, nor
+consider me in the least. I am afraid only of offending or hurting her:
+I only want to help and serve her, if I can. If she could look on me
+just as a tool to be used, an instrument in case she desired to produce
+certain sounds--I wish I were more capable of harmony--as a medium
+possibly--. But she will not speak--perhaps she cannot. And how can I
+question her, as if from vulgar curiosity? What right have I?"
+
+Her eyes were wet now, under her veil: I could see it, though nobody
+else could; and we were on a country road.
+
+"Robert, you are the best and dearest man in the world."
+
+"Hardly that. But I am proud of your approval, and will try to earn it.
+I have not earned it yet, you know."
+
+"Brother, you rate me too high, and--and her you speak of. What if she
+had what she wanted within reach, and rudely thrust it away?"
+
+"But she did not do that, dear: she could not. I am sure it is there
+yet, if she would deign to take it."
+
+"If that were certain, she would have others than herself to think of.
+So long as it was or might be merely herself, what could she do?"
+
+I began to see light now. "There _are_ others; and though they are of
+less consequence, her generous heart would not let them suffer. Suppose
+to one of them this meant life or death, hope or despair, use or
+uselessness. Suppose one not like most of us, but simple, sincere, and
+noble, unversed in the world's ways and little loving them, with a great
+heart early clouded and a strong mind warped thereby, had begun to pin
+his faith to her I speak of, and in her eyes to see reconciliation to
+earth and heaven; and then for one rash word, one casual misconception
+such as comes between any of us, had fancied the cup of promise snatched
+away, and in his misjudging innocence gone back to his cave of gloom,
+thinking himself doomed to a state worse than that from which he had
+been nearly rescued. Would she let him stay there forever?"
+
+"I suppose she ought not--if she could help it. It is well he has better
+friends than she has proved. But I cannot talk of this: indeed I cannot.
+It may be weak and foolish, but I cannot. You must do what you have to
+do in your own way.--No, I will not be such a coward, and so basely
+ungrateful. O, I understand your position, Robert. You will have to
+question me: I am sorry, but it is the only way. Ask what you absolutely
+need to know for your own guidance--I know you will ask no more--and I
+will try to answer."
+
+I groaned; and then I could have choked myself. Must my despicable
+selfishness add to her burdens? What are my feelings, my petty
+reluctance, to her interests? Have I not set myself aside? Are you not
+man enough, Robert T., to put a few civil queries to a lady, when she
+has just given you express permission, and even directed you to do so?
+The less you sneer at cads after this, the better.--I was so long making
+up my mind to it that the poor girl had to speak again.
+
+"I am very sorry, brother. It is too bad to burden you so. If I could
+save you the trouble, I would, indeed. O, I appreciate your motives, and
+your delicacy, and all your efforts to shield and spare me--never fancy
+that I did not, I have made more trouble than I am worth. If I could
+only die, and end it all!"
+
+This, as you may imagine, put a speedy end to my shilly-shallying. "That
+would end it all, with a vengeance. Some other people of my acquaintance
+would want to die then too--or before. Dearest Clarice, don't talk so.
+Two things I can't bear--your lowering yourself like this, and your
+exalting me. I am a hound: if I were half a man, I'd have made it easier
+for you. It is only that I distrust my own ability, my own penetration,
+my own judgment. I ought not to need any more instructions--but this
+business is so important, and I'm afraid of making a mess of it."
+
+"Dear Robert, you lay too much stress on the opinion I pretended to have
+of you, in days when I only half knew you and thought far too much of
+myself and too little of others. I know better now. You have the insight
+of sympathy: your heart will help your head. You will not need to ask me
+many questions; you can read between the lines."
+
+"I will try. You need not answer in words when you don't want to: just
+move your head a little, and let me see your eyes. You see, in view of
+my stupidity, the less risks we take the better: I must have some things
+down in black and white. Well then: you said something to Mabel about my
+health, and the fall fishing?"
+
+"Yes. You do need a change; I have had you on my conscience all this
+while. It is all my doing; and you love me so." Her hand stole into
+mine.
+
+"That is certainly so. Do you know where I would go if left to
+myself--if these last months were blotted from the calendar?"
+
+"Of course. Is it necessary to go through all these formalities?"
+
+"I think so: forgive me, dear. I must not trust my intuitions too far:
+they are not as fine as yours.--You know what construction might be put
+on my going there now?--Not by the outside world; it has nothing to do
+with this business, happily. But by any of us; and more especially
+by--ah--by him?"
+
+Her face was set now, her lips closed tight; but she nodded.
+
+"You have no word to send, I suppose?--No, of course not: how could you?
+Then if he asks, or if it is necessary to tell him about you, as of
+course it will be, I am to say merely what I think, so that you are
+nowise responsible?--Yes, I see. But the main thing to do there is to
+make observations, and bring my report to you?--Certainly: he must put
+himself on record before you do, if this is to go on. _If?_ Of course it
+will: it shall be all right, my dear child. Then it follows that I can't
+bring him back with me?--Why no: he must bide his time, and fulfil his
+penance. That is all, I believe: the examination--or the operation, I
+had nearly said--is over, and you have borne it well. Thank you,
+Princess; and forgive me for troubling you. You won't hate me, will you,
+for having to be so horrid, and making you go through all this?--Thank
+you again. Shall we turn homeward now?--Yes, we'll be there by dark."
+
+She sat very still, and paler than I like to see her. As for me, great
+beads of perspiration were on my forehead, though it was a cool day. I
+drove as fast now as the law allows. At last she spoke, and her voice
+trembled. "Brother, how shockingly we have all misjudged you!"
+
+"No, dear: you did not misjudge me at all. But you have been educating
+me, and it is fit the best there is in me should come to the front for
+your service--if it never put its head up before, nor should again. Wait
+till I come back: I've done nothing yet."
+
+"You have done everything. The rest will be easy for you, compared with
+this."
+
+"By Jove, you are right there: I'm glad we're through this part of
+it.--One thing more; about Jane. She loves you as I do; she has been
+berating me for indifference and slackness in the cause. O, she is a
+trump: she was crying bitterly last night because she could do nothing
+to help you, and because I was too lazy and cowardly to move; she has
+egged me on to this. May I tell her what we have agreed on?"
+
+"O yes, tell her anything you like, and Mabel too. I have made you all
+such a poor return: any other woman in my place would have trusted you
+long ago, and been the better for it. But I am so strangely made,
+Robert: my lips are like a seal to my heart. Excuse me at dinner, won't
+you? And promise me one thing--that always, after this, you will come to
+me at once, without scruple, when you want me, on my account or on your
+own. As if I could be reluctant to talk with you! Tell me when you hear
+from him, and when you are going, and--anything else. You won't mind my
+silence, or wait for me to speak? And you must never be afraid of me
+again."
+
+
+
+
+XXIII.
+
+PLAN OF CAMPAIGN.
+
+
+The Princess was seen no more that night, and I got away till dinner
+time. Then I said that she was not coming down, and anxious looks were
+exchanged, and dark ones cast on me. In return I winked at Jane, and
+frowned severely on Herbert, who intercepted the signal and began to
+grin. Mabel, who had seen it too, reproved me for setting the boy a bad
+example; and thus a diversion was effected. While she was seeing after
+the children, my sister carried me off to the library: I made her kiss
+me before I would tell her anything.
+
+"Jane, you may scold me as much as you like after this, and I will never
+say a cross word to you again. Hartman was right: he said you had more
+penetration than any of us, and all sorts of virtues. O, you needn't
+mind about blushing; we are alone. It's true, and I shall hold you in
+honor accordingly."
+
+"Brother, I hope you have not spoiled your work with careless handling.
+I always distrust you when you begin your fine speeches."
+
+"That was in the past, which we have put behind us: they come now from
+the abundance of the heart. We are one, you know, and I am to tell you
+everything. Jane, I've done exactly as you told me, and given you all
+credit. She knows it was your move; and it's all right."
+
+"Then you found that your imagination had created, or greatly magnified,
+the difficulties, and that your fears were unnecessary?"
+
+"Far from it. It was a terrible job for both of us: the mere
+recollection of it is harrowing. Clarice is laid up, and only my
+superior physical strength and fortitude, with an hour's recuperation,
+enabled me to face you all at table."
+
+"Then you must have been rough with her. Brother, how could you?"
+
+"What did I tell you? You drive me, with all your sharp-pointed feminine
+weapons, to a painful task, and then you blame me because you fancy I've
+not discharged it as neatly as the angel Gabriel might. She thinks I
+did, however. Was I rough with you last night? Is it my habit to go
+around trampling on the finer feelings of our nature? In the hour of
+woe, when your heartstrings are torn asunder, you will find me a
+first-class comforter. I thought you knew that already."
+
+"I doubt if Clarice knows it, if you took this tone with her. Can you
+never be serious, Robert?"
+
+"Good heavens, Jane, what would you have? Have I not been serious
+through two weary months, and eminently so all this afternoon? I had to
+be. Let the overstrung bow be relaxed a little now. You remember the
+Prime Minister, who after an exciting debate used to go home and play
+with his children?
+
+"As exciting debates are usually conducted in the small hours, it was
+cruel to disturb their infant slumbers. If you want to do that here you
+will have to get Mabel's consent; it is out of my province. Best play
+with your children before they go to bed."
+
+"Children of a larger growth will serve. Bear with me, sister. My
+faculties have been sorely tasked: I am spent and weary--"
+
+"And you must have somebody to play with. Was that why you were so fond
+of Clarice, because she sometimes humored you? She could hardly serve
+your turn now: the poor child is in no jesting mood. Nor am I; nor ought
+you to be."
+
+"Sister, you wrong me. It is my warmth of heart, my fraternal affection,
+which you have so oft-repulsed. Mine is a poet's nature. You stare, but
+it is so: it is only lately that I discovered the fact myself. Like the
+elder Bulwer, I pine for appreciation, for sympathy--"
+
+"You will continue to pine if you go on like this. I never saw such a
+man for beating about the bush and talking nonsense. What have you
+accomplished?--I don't want to pry into her secrets, or ask her to share
+her confidences, but--"
+
+"Now, Jane, if you have any heart left, I will bring the tear of
+contrition to your eye. I asked and obtained her permission to tell you
+all I know, and all we have just arranged."
+
+"Don't be so long about it, then. What are the arrangements?"
+
+So I imparted them with but little modification or reservation; and
+Mabel coming in presently, I went over the main outlines again. It is
+not every man who could thus communicate state secrets to his family;
+but mine never talk about home affairs to outsiders. One point is, they
+do not attend the Sewing Society: if they did, I should feel less safe.
+They approved in the main.
+
+"It hardly seems fair to Mr. Hartman," said Jane; "but no doubt it's as
+much as you can expect from her."
+
+"I should say it was: why, she is acting nobly. If it were any other
+man, he should, and would, have all the making up to do, instead of
+putting it on us. You see, you--that is, we--don't exactly know what the
+quarrel was. He must have been in the wrong, of course."
+
+"O yes, because you are a man. Now suppose I, being a woman, say, 'She
+must have been in the wrong, of course.'"
+
+"My dears," said Mabel, "let us compromise. They are both human beings;
+probably they were both in the wrong."
+
+"Happy thought," said I. "We'll fix it that way: then they have only to
+kiss and be friends. But still, the man is generally expected to open
+the ball."
+
+"That is," said Jane, "if all does not go smoothly from the start, which
+can hardly be expected, poor Mr. Hartman is to be sacrificed."
+
+"I would not put it just that way; though he, or any man, ought to be
+glad to be sacrificed for Clarice. She is naturally first with me, as I
+should suppose she would be with you--except that, as you pertinently
+observe, you also are a woman. But never fear, Jane; I'll attend to
+Hartman's case too. I hope to act as attorney for both plaintiff and
+defendant, and speedily to reconcile their conflicting interests. It is
+true I am on a prospecting tour: I have no retainer from him yet. But I
+shall soon pocket that, and master his side of the suit. O, I'll take
+him up tenderly, and handle with care."
+
+"Of course you will, Robert," said Mabel. "If there is any quality for
+which you are distinguished, it is the even-tempered justice of your
+mind. You can argue on both sides of a case with equal fluency and
+force, and that quite independent of your personal predilections."
+
+"Just so. But I fear Jane has not the same confidence in my fairness and
+ability with you, my dear. You will have to talk to her privately, and
+bring her to a proper frame of mind. She is my only and much loved
+sister, and I can't go till she has faith in me."
+
+"It is you who are not in a proper frame of mind as to Mr. Hartman's
+side of this affair, brother. A man has no sympathy, no charity, for
+another man. You can be all tenderness, and consideration, and faith,
+and loyalty, to a woman--when she has Clarice's looks; but when it is
+only an old friend who trusts you, you will laugh, and sneer, and amuse
+yourself at his expense, and either delude him or hopelessly estrange
+him."
+
+"Did you ever hear the like? Yesterday, and the day before, she insisted
+on my going; and now, when I am all on fire to go, she throws cold water
+on my zeal, and--"
+
+Here my wife interrupted me. "Jane, it is you who show undue levity. You
+forget that Clarice is my cousin; that is why Robert is so fond of her,
+and espouses her cause so warmly. I think it is very good of him, and
+very generous."
+
+"Now you have hit it: Jane, hide your diminished head. Mabel, if Hartman
+can prove affinity with you, I will take just as much pains for him as
+for Clarice. But, sister, you and I must be one. I tell you what I will
+do: I will stay at home all next Sunday, and let you preach to me: then,
+if you can't fill me to the nozzle with your views, whose fault will it
+be? Or you might go along, as you wanted to in May. Then you could
+personally superintend the campaign."
+
+"My only hope is that you will sober down before you get there. In this
+mood you could do no good at all."
+
+"That's where you are mistaken. Jim expects me to brighten him up: _he_
+is not wholly without a sense of humor. But if you think I am going
+there for amusement, you are out again. I shall take Young's Night
+Thoughts, and Hervey's Meditations among the Tombs, and a volume or two
+of sermons, to read on the way, and get my mind attuned to the
+atmosphere of the place. My jokes there will be solemn and elaborate
+offerings, prompted solely by a humane sense of necessity. But, Jane,
+you are in a minority of one. Clarice has confidence in me: you ask her.
+And so has Mabel: haven't you, my love?"
+
+"Yes, certainly. Why, Jane, Robert is the only person who can possibly
+manage this affair, since you and I can't well go, and Clarice does not
+like to speak out herself. We could not commit it to a stranger, you
+know. Robert knew Mr. Hartman before any of us did; they were old
+friends at college. He is the natural link between them, you might say.
+If he will only remember not to laugh in the wrong places, as he did
+that time we took him to church, when the minister thumped his sermon
+off the pulpit, and not to tell the wrong stories, as he so often does
+at table, and not to yawn when Mr. Hartman explains how badly he has
+been feeling since he left us, he will do very well. You can't expect
+him to take the same interest in Mr. Hartman as in Clarice: would he
+care for us as he does, if we were men? Jane, he is pointed out by
+Providence as the means of reconciling them. You must see that he is to
+be trusted entirely. Under his supervision it will all come right: I
+said so from the beginning."
+
+After this, there seemed no need of further remarks. Mabel withdrew
+early, and I went out to smoke. When I came back, I found Jane again in
+tears.
+
+"Brother, tell me that you were only playing with me, and that you are
+really in earnest about this matter, and will do your best to set it
+straight."
+
+"My dear sister, I will tell you anything you like, if you will only
+believe me; what is the use, if you won't? Do you suppose I care less
+for Clarice's happiness than you do--or for Jim's either? I wish you
+would talk to her, and let her clarify your ideas. Faith, as you may
+have heard in church, is a saving grace, and essential to peace of mind.
+Within a month or two you will see whether I fail my friends or not, and
+then perhaps you will learn to trust me. Jane, I believe in you now,
+even if you don't believe in me; I would do almost anything to please
+you. You want me to change my nature: I would do even that, but it is so
+expensive, and then the new one might not fit as well as what I have
+now. You are very exacting, but you can't quarrel with me, because I
+will be no party to such proceedings."
+
+"Brother, it all rests with you. If you will bring them together, I will
+never doubt you again."
+
+"No, my dear, I'll not hold you to that. You shall doubt me as often as
+you like; but I will keep my promises all the same."
+
+You see, I am trying new tactics with Jane now. Magnanimity, patient
+forgiveness of injuries, disinterested and persistent affection, will in
+time soften the most obdurate. After Clarice goes off, there will be so
+few of us left that I can't afford to be on any but the best terms with
+such as remain. And then my sister, when she is willing to do
+herself--and me--justice, has some quite creditable traits.
+
+
+
+
+XXIV.
+
+TO WAYBACK AGAIN.
+
+
+I pass succeeding interviews, of which there were several. Poor Clarice
+had little to say, but was quite willing to listen to any suggestions of
+mine. What Jane unkindly calls beating about the bush is necessary with
+a person of her sensitive organization. She seems to feel that she has
+fallen from her old estate, and is not yet established in a new one. I
+am satisfied that she never would have made those admissions, slight as
+they are, and allowed me to go on this secret embassy, if she had only
+herself to consider. For the first time duty to others has come into
+collision with her pride, and shaken the citadel of her reserve. Always
+hitherto she has had things and people come to her; the exercise has
+been in keeping them off. To want, to seek, to invite--to lift a finger,
+unless in the way of small and graceful social management--this is new
+to her, and she takes it hard. The thing I have to do beyond all others
+is to preserve her dignity: she knows I can be trusted for that, though
+Jane does not. I can't blame Jane: she has never seen me conduct an
+affair like this, nor has any one else, for the simple reason that I
+never had it to do till now. I am only her brother: she has had
+experience of all my failings, and is imperfectly acquainted with my
+resources. Mabel is more satisfactory. She has not figured as much as
+some others in this chronicle; connubial modesty prevents my making her
+prominent. But she too possesses some very good traits; especially she
+has a way of bringing forward and dwelling upon points which nobody else
+would think of mentioning. She used to scold me sometimes, but that was
+chiefly when she thought I was not treating Clarice well. She lays
+great stress on ties of blood, and considers herself natural guardian
+and defender to the Princess, whom she sometimes forgets that I knew for
+fifteen years before I ever met her. Clarice talks little with her, and
+no more with Jane: I really believe that her only confidences--which are
+not much, if measured by words--have been made to me. But they are very
+fond of each other all the same. I suppose you can understand that much
+affection can exist with little intimacy. The Princess was cast in her
+own peculiar mould: I don't want to see many more like her, for they
+would be poor imitations. None of us ever attempt to pry into her inner
+life--or to meddle with her outward life either; when she wants anything
+of any of us, we are ready, and there it ends. She knows we love her,
+and that is enough.
+
+Hartman, now, is much less impenetrable; though I suppose he will shut
+himself up like an oyster over the dubious pearl of his precious secret,
+and give me no end of trouble to extract his contents. But I possess a
+knife which is able to open his shell. He has answered my letter
+promptly, and expects me presently. Does he think I am going up there
+merely to fish and hunt, and hear him talk a lot of rubbish about the
+Vanity of Life? Or does he scent my deeper motives--discern the
+Ethiopian within the encompassing pale, as they say in Boston? If so, he
+is apparently as willing to be operated on as he was before. At any rate
+he is a gentleman, and knows how to respect a woman--when he takes time
+to think about it. This is a delicate business for him as well as for
+the lady--and there is where the awkwardness comes in: from his point of
+view he can't speak out, any more than she. Well, I'll turn him inside
+out and manipulate him, if it takes the whole week. Happily I don't have
+to consider him as I did Clarice; as Jane intimates, a man can't expect
+to have his feelings spared in the process. What are a man's feelings
+anyway, compared with a woman's? And what rights has he as against hers?
+No: between man and man all that can be needed is plain speech and manly
+frankness--aided by a little diplomacy. I'll break you to pieces, James
+H., if you are fractious; and I've got the weapons to do it with. It is
+all for your good, and you'll bless me the rest of your life. One thing
+must be understood: I can't have you coming to my place and practising
+your wild backwoods manners on my family, and then sneaking off in the
+night and evading responsibility. The next time you come you will have
+to behave yourself, and to stay till Somebody has had enough of you.
+
+Mabel thinks I ought to enliven the account of my trip with descriptions
+of scenery and the like. But a rock is a rock, and a field is a field,
+and who wants to know whether a tree is elm or maple? I am not a
+geological survey, and you can get mountains enough from Craddock. Not
+that I am insensible to the beauties of Nature--as I have proved before
+now. How often have I sat upon an eminence, and admiringly gazed at the
+departing luminary as he sank slowly to rest, flooding hill and valley
+with tints which a painter might strive in vain to reproduce! I would
+have to sit there some time to see it all, for I have noticed that with
+us the Sunset proper does not begin till after the Setting of the Sun is
+finished. And when the distant mountains assumed a robe of royal purple,
+and 'the death-smile of the dying day' lingered pathetically on the
+horizon, my thoughts would soar to the Celestial City, and long to rest
+themselves upon its pavement of liquid gold. I heard Dr. Chapin say
+these last words at the first lecture I ever attended, and it struck my
+infant intelligence that they ought to be preserved. And I too might be
+a poet if I lived in the country, in constant communion with Nature,
+abandoning my soul to her maternal caress. But alas, the stir, the
+scramble, the mad whirl of city life, the debasing contact with low
+material minds, the daily study of Prices Current, make even of me a
+muckworm. Still, I might work up a brook or two after I get to the
+woods, or expatiate on a seven-pound trout: my conscience forbids me to
+weigh them higher, for I never saw any above three. And yet some men
+will talk familiarly of ten-pounders!--Or I might analyze the mediaeval
+garments of Hodge and his old Poll. As for the Wayback houses, they are
+like any other habitations, only less of them, and few and far between:
+Jim's is the best, and it is nothing to brag of. You can see much better
+buildings any day on Broadway. The rural parts, as Lord Bacon observed,
+are but a den of savage men. It is to see one of these, and resume the
+interrupted process of civilizing him, that I am about starting on this
+philanthropic journey, leaving my happy home and the advantages of a
+metropolis. If the savage breast is open to ennobling influences, it
+shall be soothed and charmed by the music of my discourse. What loftier,
+more disinterested task than to reclaim the wanderer, and guide the
+penitent in the way wherein he should go? I began this soul-raising
+labor some time ago, but an unexpected hitch occurred in the proceeding:
+there must be no more such now.
+
+I found Hodge awaiting me at the station: he said that Hartman was
+arranging the tackle for to-morrow. The fact is, it is one of Jim's
+notions not to keep a horse, but to depend on Hodge for his
+communications with the outside world; and another never to see the
+railroad when he can help it.
+
+"Well, old man," I said as the effete steed began laboriously to get in
+motion, "how is your valuable health?"
+
+"Pooty tollable. How's them gells o' yourn as wanted to foller ye up
+here las' time?"
+
+"The ladies are reasonably well, and will be flattered by your
+inquiries. How is Mr. Hartman?"
+
+"Wall, Square, I ain't none too satyfied 'bout him. He don't say nothin
+to nobody, but he seems kinder low in his mind, like. Ever sence you
+played that durn trick on me and him, he's ben someways diffurnt. He--"
+
+"Look here, my aged friend; why should you accuse me of playing durn
+tricks on people? To what circumstance do you allude?"
+
+"I ain't alludin' to nothin; I says it out plain. If ye don't know,
+Id'no as I'm called to tell ye. Me an' Hartman was gittin on fust rate,
+till ye come and upsot us; we ain't used to bein upsot. So when our
+commydations wan't good enough for ye an' yer gells, ye went and got
+Hartman down thar in the city, or wharever 'twas. An' Id'no what ye done
+to him thar, an' I spose it's no good to ask a feller like ye; but he
+ain't ben the same man sence. That's how _he_ is. He uster be chipper,
+an' peart, an' clost frens with me; an' now he don't say nothin. Ye can
+see fur yerself pooty durn soon."
+
+And the native bestowed on me a malign glance. I trotted him out and
+entertained myself with his paces (which were livelier than those of his
+nag) for the next three hours. Those who like nature unadorned can find
+it here. As a specimen of unbridled rancor Hodge deserves a prize. I
+believe I have got to the bottom of his luminous intellect--not that it
+was worth the labor, if one had anything else to do. Supposing himself
+Jim's most intimate friend, he is jealous of me as a rival in that
+capacity; and he has never forgiven the slight put on his establishment
+in connection with the girls' proposed visit. I partly appeased him by
+suggesting that he supply the shanty with a new signboard labeled
+'Palace Hotel.' Fortunately I don't have to put up there this time.
+
+Of course he told me a lot of lies. A casual eye could see no change in
+the recluse: his head does not hang down on his breast, his locks are
+not long and matted, his sighs do not resound through the primeval
+forest and scare away the panthers. When you look closely at him, or
+have been with him long enough, you can see that he is a little thinner,
+a little older, a little less inclined to chaff--as well he may be.
+Chaffing is a bad habit anyway, and was his worst fault when I was here
+before; so far, his woes have improved him. He met me cordially enough,
+but with no wild demonstration: he seems no nearer insanity than last
+May. He asked after Mabel, Jane, and the children, but not after
+Clarice; nor did I mention her, of course. It was not a very pleasant
+evening, for each of us was watching the other to see what he would say.
+He knows as well as I do that the enemy has troops in reserve: he is not
+so unsuspicious as he was. He did not ventilate his theories to any
+great extent, nor did I see my way to expound my great scheme for the
+Ascertainment of Truth: the ground ought to be in good condition before
+you drop seed of such value upon it.
+
+If I thought things would go on like this, I should begin to grumble;
+but we shall probably get broken in to each other in a day or two, and
+then I can thaw him out. We talked glittering generalities for a
+while--the weather, and the war prospects abroad, and the chances of
+getting deer on the other side of a mountain not far away--like any
+commonplace boobies at a county fair. Then he proposed for next morning
+a stream I had not seen, some distance off, which would necessitate a
+start before daybreak: so I pretended to be tired from the journey, and
+we turned in early.
+
+
+
+
+XXV.
+
+A WILD BROOK.
+
+
+Next day we went some miles along a lonely road, and then through the
+fields of an abandoned farm. I don't wonder they abandoned it; I am only
+sorry for the poor wretch who once cherished the delusive dream of
+scratching a living there; when he died or went back to Canada, he
+couldn't well be worse off. Nature had but partially reclaimed the land,
+and we tramped through weeds and grass up to our middle; one might as
+well be wading a fair-sized river. You have no idea of the dew up here
+till you have tried it. After a while we struck into the woods, and such
+woods you never saw--at least I hope so for your sake. Rocks, big and
+little, generally of the most unchristian shapes--not picturesque, but
+sprawling; underbrush wherever it had a chance to grow: you could
+scarcely find a foot of smooth ground. The worst of it was the way the
+trees lay around loose. The region had not been burned over, at least
+not for many years; but it did seem to have been cursed, as if Adam's
+fall had been enacted there. The monarchs of the forest, for countless
+generations, had indulged a depraved propensity to fall also, and across
+each other in all possible directions. It was such an abattis as I trust
+our men, in the war, never had to fight their way through: here it was
+bad enough without anybody to shoot at you. I would go rods out of my
+way to get around a great bowlder, and come upon a conglomeration of big
+trees which had tumbled about till they made a Virginia fence fifteen
+feet high. Climbing is all very well in its way, but I don't like this
+kind. The queer thing was that they had not the sense to decay and
+crumble; the wood was mostly sound enough to be standing yet. I asked
+Hartman why they did not haul off all this timber, and he said there was
+no place to haul it to, nor any way to haul it, nor anybody to do the
+hauling; that fuel was cheap, and the few inhabitants had plenty nearer
+home; and besides, that it was most ornamental and useful where it
+was--it afforded exercise to the bodily and spiritual muscles of any
+anglers from the city who might come that way like me. "You forget the
+characteristics of this region, which are its advantages in my view. You
+can get turnpike roads, and teams, and sawmills, nearer home. You come
+up here to be away from the busy haunts, you know, and to see Nature in
+her native purity. This stream that I am taking you to is very seldom
+visited."
+
+"I should think it would be, if this is the way to get to it," I said,
+as I fell over a root and barked my nose and knees. "What the deuce did
+we come to such a blanked place for?"
+
+"For trout: you said they were what you wanted. The less fishermen, the
+more fish. This is the best brook in the county, because it is the least
+accessible. I rarely come here myself: I've been saving it up this year
+for you."
+
+We went on, our progress marked by frequent delays and accidents; that
+it was marked by no profanity was due merely to Jim's reticence and to
+my exceptional manners and principles. After what seemed to me about
+twenty miles--though he said it was only one and a half--of this
+singularly forsaken country, he cried, "Look out now, or you'll fall in.
+Here is the brook."
+
+It made noise enough to be heard a long way off, but I thought that was
+something else--some kobolds or other abnormal beings, probably, working
+at their forges underground. The brook itself was well enough, but it
+did not seem to belong there; you could not see it till you were on the
+edge of it. I have fished a good many streams, and tramped through all
+sorts of woods, but I never saw such a place as that before, and I never
+want to again. We had left our rods at home; high-toned anglers who
+carry fancy tackle through such regions leave it along the painful way
+in small pieces. So we carried merely our baskets--which were
+encumbrance enough--and what we had in our pockets. You can cut a pole
+anywhere, and it does not want to be a long one either: take your
+fly-book if you like, but worms are as good or better. There was no use
+of wading: you would be more likely to scare the fish so than by staying
+on the bank, where they could never see you; the difficulty was to see
+far enough to throw in five feet of line. It was a superior brook--all
+but the getting to it, and, as I afterwards found, away from it. If it
+could be removed from its loathsome surroundings and put down in a
+decent country, I would go there every year. I was going to say that
+some of the cascades were forty feet high, till I remembered that trout
+cannot climb as far as that.
+
+"Don't lose your balance," said Jim; "these fish are fierce." They were,
+in the wilder parts. They would bite like mad, and then wriggle and
+wrench themselves off the hook before you could get them up the bank. I
+never saw or heard of such ferocity, except in the celebrated scaly
+warrior which chased an equally famous fisherman all over an Adirondack
+lake, jumped across his boat several times, and, if I remember rightly,
+bit him on the nose. No such adventure fell to my lot on this occasion,
+though I thought that some of them, when sufficiently near my face,
+grinned at me as they parted company. Yet none of them were over half a
+pound, and most of them much less. You can see that this healthful
+pastime does not produce its usual demoralizing effect on me. When we
+reached a flat piece of ground, the water would become quiet and the
+manners of the fish more humane, so that they would come out like
+chubs. I stood in one spot under a tree, and took twenty-nine in
+succession. My sister, looking over these memoirs, suggests that they
+probably _were_ chubs; but Hartman, who was behind me then, came up and
+saw them, so I have his evidence. He said it was a spawning bed, and I
+ought to put the twenty-nine back. Who would have thought him capable of
+such mean jealousy? But he cannot play his tricks on me.
+
+About two P.M. he said we had better start.
+
+"Why, we don't want to reach home much before dark," said I.
+
+"No danger of it. It's much worse getting out of this than getting in.
+You saw how much path there is: we can't go straight, and it's all
+chance where we strike the fields. You'd better eat what you've got, and
+drink all you can: there's no water between this and the road."
+
+"Didn't you take landmarks? Look at the mountains all round."
+
+"They are like the mountains about the Dark Tower Childe Roland came to.
+I've been here twice before, and missed the way back both times. Nobody
+ever got out of here without going a circuit to the right, and taking
+his chances. The natives are afraid to come here: they say there are
+ghosts--the ghosts of those who got lost of old, and were eaten by
+bears. That's how we took so many trout. Look to your belt now, and the
+straps of your basket. The last time I was here, the other fellow lost
+his fish in the woods, and I made him go back and hunt them up: it was
+near night before he found them, and his basket was not much heavier
+than yours is now. If we should have to camp out, we can build a fire,
+cook some of the fish, and probably avoid freezing: but we'd better try
+to get out."
+
+I thought so too, and supposed he was trying to scare me; but the sun
+was nearly down when we saw the fields. We went four times too far,
+through that beastly region of rocks and dead trees: I think our course
+was mainly northwest by south-southeast. At last we got back to the
+house, tired and hungry; but Jim's old housekeeper is a pretty good cook
+for a native, and there is no better supper than trout that were in the
+water the same day.
+
+
+
+
+XXVI.
+
+AN INTRACTABLE PATIENT.
+
+
+When we were settled down to our pipes, I said, "Is this the way you
+treat the friends of your youth, when they entrust life and limb to your
+hospitality?"
+
+"I give 'em the best I've got: sorry if it doesn't suit. There's no
+Delmonico's round the corner, here. What's the matter with you, old
+man?"
+
+"O, it's not your housekeeping: that's all right. But why did you lead
+me such a dance, and get me lost in that unconscionable doghole of a
+wilderness?"
+
+"Did you ever take so many fish out of a brook in one day before? No, of
+course you didn't. Well, that's why. I told you it would be a rough
+expedition; but I thought you came here to rough it. You didn't expect
+balls and a casino, did you? You were here last May."
+
+"Last May I saw nothing as bad as this to-day. You haven't been playing
+it on me, I hope? Jim, have you got any grudge against me?"
+
+"What should I have? You're deucedly suspicious and sensitive--far more
+so than I was with you. I believe I let you play on me to your heart's
+content, and never complained--did I?"
+
+"Jim, I don't like this. There's a change in you: Hodge said so, and I
+didn't believe him. You're not the same man."
+
+"O, we all change--from year to year, and from day to day. But I ought
+never to have left these woods, Bob, and that's the truth. You should
+have let me stay here as I was."
+
+"I meant it in all kindness, for your good, Jim. Surely you'll do me the
+justice to acknowledge that."
+
+"No doubt. But your philanthropic experiments are apt to be damnably
+expensive to the patient."
+
+"You couldn't be much worse than you were, according to your own
+account. Any change ought to have been for the better."
+
+"That was your assumption. Do I strike you as being changed for the
+better?"
+
+"Well, no, you don't--not to put too fine a point upon it."
+
+He certainly does not. His whole manner is altered. His former
+gentleness has given way to rough harshness. You have seen how he treats
+me. It may be his best, as he says; if so, his best is far from good.
+His bitterness used to be, if I may say so, in the abstract, and leveled
+against abstractions; now it seems to have a painfully concrete
+character and aim. His estrangement from the scheme of things, or from
+his kind at least, was purely intellectual, leaving his heart no more
+affected than the heart usually is by brain-disorders; now it is moral.
+He is like a man tormented by remorse, or regrets as savage. But I think
+I know a cure for his complaint.
+
+After a pause he said, "I don't want to blame you, Bob, and I don't
+propose to whine. Nor was it any great matter what came to me, wherever
+it might come from. I thought I was done with the world, and had nothing
+to fear from it, except being bored and disgusted. There was only one
+thing I cared about, and that I supposed I could keep. I was mistaken.
+It was my little ewe lamb--all I had; and they took it from me."
+
+"I thought your live stock was confined to dogs, and a cow, and the
+tomcat--by the way, I don't see him any more. I didn't know you went
+into sheep. Was Tommy the ewe-lamb, and did the dogs play Nathan and
+David with him?"
+
+This I said, thinking to cheer him up a bit; but he only scowled.
+Really, I must remember Mabel's caution about telling the wrong stories
+and laughing in the wrong places. "Well, Jim, what was 'it' that you
+valued so, and who were 'they' who took it away?"
+
+"The prince of the power of the air; the spirit that walks in darkness,
+and rules in the children thereof. The beautiful order of things
+generally, and their incurable depravity. All these are one, and the
+name doesn't matter. If you urged me to it, I might say that you had
+played a very passable David to my Uriah."
+
+"Who--I? I'm not a sheep-stealer. What would I want to hurt you for?
+Jim, you're joking, and it's a joke of doubtful taste."
+
+"Do I look like it? _You_ might find a joke in this: you can find them
+everywhere. I can't."
+
+"As I told you, you take Life too seriously. If you will be more
+specific, and tell me what you have lost, perhaps I can help you to find
+it."
+
+"Some losses are irrecoverable. You'd better let it alone, Bob; you'd
+better have let me alone before, as I've said. You mean well enough; but
+it's ill meddling with another man's life. You don't know what
+responsibility you take, or what effect you may produce. I don't say
+that it's the worst of all possible worlds, but it is such that each of
+us had best go his own way, and keep clear of the others. When one
+forgets that safe rule, and mixes with his kind, only harm seems to come
+of it."
+
+"If that is so, I might better have staid at home now. Methinks your
+written hand is different from your spoken. I mean--"
+
+"O yes, when I write I try to come out of myself and be decently civil;
+and so I should to a chance visitor for five minutes, or an hour maybe.
+But I can't keep it up all day--not to say for a week. You'll have to
+see the facts, and bear with them. I don't want to be rough on you; but
+I'm not myself--or not what I was before, or supposed myself to be. It's
+all in the plan, no doubt; we are fulfilling the beneficent intentions
+of Nature. Perhaps I'm breaking down, and the end is not so far off as
+we thought. If so, so much the better: we'll escape that sad old age you
+prophesied."
+
+Now I am not lacking in humanity, but it does not afflict me as it did
+six months ago to hear Jim go on in this way. I know what is the matter
+with him now, and what he is driving at, though I must assume ignorance
+for a while yet. The patient must tell his symptoms, and then the doctor
+will give him the physic he needs, and proceed to make a new man of him.
+That is what I am after now, and the good work must not be spoiled by
+undue haste. So I put on a decorous air of sympathy, and said,
+
+"That's all bosh, you know. If anything is the matter with you
+physically, I ought to hear about it; but I don't believe there is. As
+for the mind, we are all subject to gloomy moods and periods of
+depression; but they pass, Jim--they pass. You believed in friendship
+before; hadn't you better tell me what you think ails you?"
+
+"I can't talk about it, except in this roundabout way: what's the use?
+Best keep to broad principles: the particular case only illustrates the
+general law. I knew it of old: what business had I to expose myself
+again? What would you do with a child who will keep on playing about
+moving cars, or mill machinery? Let him fall under the wheels, and rid
+the earth of an idiot."
+
+"O no: pull him out in time, and he'll learn better. Well, Jim, you
+might at least tell me what hand I had in this catastrophe."
+
+"O, none, none whatever: how should you? You never laid any plots for
+me, and used me for your mirth. You never devised an elaborately
+concealed ambush, and smoothed it over till I was in the snare. That
+would be foreign to your open and candid nature. It is very good fun to
+practice on unsuspecting innocence; but you are far above that."
+
+"See here, Hartman: you talk as if my house were a den of iniquity. If
+so, I was not aware of it till now. Your ill opinion has not thus far
+been reciprocated. We entertain none but kind feelings toward you: we
+all regretted your hasty departure. You were received as a friend, and
+treated as such, I believe. My wife and sister often speak of you: you
+could command their fullest sympathy in this, or any trouble, real or
+imaginary."
+
+"That I never doubted: I owe them nothing but pleasant memories, and
+thankful good will.--You need not stare at me so: I make no charges, and
+imply none.--Well, if you must have it, I can say that every member of
+your family has my absolute respect,--down to the twins; do you
+understand? If I have any grudge, it is toward you alone."
+
+It was plain that he forced himself to say this--or some of it--as if it
+were coming perilously near a name he could not utter. He is having his
+bad time now, as I had mine last week. It is his own fault: he has no
+need to be so censorious. He _had_ to say what he did, or there would be
+trouble: some things a man cannot stand, and my best friend would be my
+friend no longer, if he ventured to reflect upon the Princess.
+
+"I'm glad to hear you say so: the difficulty is simple then, and easily
+settled. You've got no pistols, of course, and I didn't bring mine. I'll
+take your rifle, and you can borrow Hodge's old shotgun: if it bursts,
+it won't be much loss--only you mustn't come too near me with it.
+There's no danger of interference from the police up here, I judge? But
+I say, what shall we do for a surgeon?"
+
+"There you go again, turning everything into a jest. Can you never be
+serious, man?"
+
+"Try to say something original, James: that is stale. Jane asks me that
+about six times a day, and Mabel frequently, and--and the others. I was
+serious with you just now, or nearly: had I been entirely so, I might
+have knocked the top of your head off, and then they would have blamed
+me at home. You see, they think you are more of a man than you show
+yourself. To be serious all the time is the most serious mistake one can
+make in life; and I want no worse example than you. When I go back to
+town I shall write the Decline and Fall of an Alleged Seeker after
+Truth, who missed it by taking things too seriously. You are too stiff
+and narrow and rigid and dogmatic: you take one point of view and stick
+to it like grim death. You can't get at Truth in that way."
+
+"I suppose you would stand on your head and look at it upside down, and
+then turn a back somersault and view it from between your legs."
+
+"You express it inelegantly, but you have caught the idea. Truth is not
+a half pound package done up in brown paper and permanently deposited in
+one corner of the pantry shelf; she is big and various and active. While
+you have your head fixed in the iron grip and are staring at the sign
+'Terms Cash,' she is off to the other side of the room--and you don't
+make a good picture at all in that constrained attitude. Your mind has
+got to be nimble and unbiassed if you want to overtake her, because she
+is always changing: that is, she appears in new and--to you--unexpected
+places. I gave you a hint of this in May, and another last summer, but
+you seem to have forgotten it. O, I could sit here all night and
+explain it to you, if you were in the right frame of mind."
+
+"No doubt: happily I am not. What has this to do with your defence of
+buffoonery, and apotheosis of clowns and pantomimes?"
+
+"A pantomime is a very good thing in its way. But that is your
+illustration; I would rather say opera bouffe, which is probably the
+truest copy of Life--if we were limited to one kind. But we are not: I
+tell you, we must have all sorts. There is tragedy in Life, and
+comedy--that more especially; a little of the other goes a long way. But
+they are always mixed--not kept apart, and one alone taken in large and
+frequent doses, after your fashion. Shakespeare understood his business
+pretty well; though, if I had been he, I would have put in more of those
+light and graceful touches which hit us where we live, and make the
+whole world kin."
+
+"Like the Dromios, or the Carriers in Henry Fourth."
+
+"Or the Gravediggers; they are more to your purpose. I want you to see
+that Humor is the general solvent and reconciler, the key that opens
+most locks: a feeling for it, well developed, would be money in your
+pocket. Things don't go to suit you, and you think your powers of the
+air are frowning, the universe a vault, and the canopy a funeral pall:
+perhaps the powers are only laughing at you, and want you to smile with
+them. If you could do that, it would let in light on your darkness. Any
+situation, properly viewed, has its amusing elements: if you ignore
+them, you fail to understand the whole. What did Heine say about his
+irregular Latin nouns? That his knowledge of them, in many a gloomy
+hour, supplied much inward consolation and delight. You ought to read
+him more, Jim."
+
+"And Josh Billings, and Bill Nye. Well, that's enough of your wisdom for
+to-night. We must arrange for to-morrow. Are you up to another
+scramble?"
+
+"Not like to-day's. Let's take in some decent scenery along with the
+trout."
+
+"There is a wild gorge ten miles off, with a brook in it. We can take
+Hodge's mare, put up at a house, and work down the ravine. It's not so
+bad as the last place, nor so good for fish." I agreed, and we went to
+bed.
+
+You may think I am humoring Hartman too much, and letting him shirk the
+subject. But I have a week--more if necessary--and I don't want to be
+too hard on him. He'll thaw out by degrees: so long as he doesn't blame
+Clarice, it is all right. He has got my idea about the way to discover
+Truth now, and it will work in his brain, and soften him. I know Jim: he
+never seems to take hold at first, but he comes round in time. You just
+wait, and you will see whether I know what I am about.
+
+
+
+
+XXVII.
+
+SCENERY IMPROVED.
+
+
+The next day we drove to a farmhouse which had annexed some rather
+decent fields for that region. On one side was tolerably level ground,
+on the other a cut between two savage mountains. Down this we made our
+way, taking presently the bed of a small brook: woodroad or footpath
+never can be there. For a while there was room to walk on dry land: soon
+the cliffs closed in upon us, on the right rising sheer, on the left
+sloping, but steeper than I would want to climb. At first the stream was
+very shallow and narrow, and the fish small and scarce; but think of the
+creatures that must come there to drink at night! It was the only
+watercourse for miles, Jim said. He pointed out the tracks of a bear or
+two, and he thought of a panther; but it is not here I should choose to
+hunt--your game might have you at a disadvantage. He tried to make me
+believe that even now some of these beasts might catch us; but that was
+simply to discourage me from going after them, later on: Jim does not
+like the chase. _My_ jokes are in better taste: as he is now, I believe
+the bears could beat him in manners. Near noon we found a place to sit
+down, where we could see a little of the crags, and proceeded to
+assimilate our frugal lunch.
+
+"Hartman," said I, "I should think you would want to live up to your
+scenery, as the ladies do to their blue china. Look at this majestic
+cliff, whose scarred and aged front, frowning upon these lonesome trout
+since the creation, has never been profaned by mortal foot."
+
+"Probably not. People very seldom come here, and when they do, they
+wouldn't be fools enough to try to climb up. They couldn't do it, and it
+wouldn't pay if they could."
+
+"Well, it is grand, anyway, and it ought to quicken your soul to grand
+thoughts. In such a scene you ought to feel stirring within you noble
+sympathies and resolves."
+
+"I can't see much grandeur in human nature, Bob, nor any in myself. If
+you had thought yourself a gentleman, and suddenly awaked to the fact
+that you were a cad and a scoundrel, you would be apt to change your
+tune, and drop the high notes."
+
+Oho, I thought, he is coming to the point. While I was meditating how to
+utilize this confidence, a small piece of rock fell from above upon the
+edge of my toes: if it had been a large piece, and fallen on my head,
+you would have missed this moral tale. When I had expressed my
+sentiments, he said, "I can't insure you against accidents,--any more
+than you did me. If I had brought you here in spring, you might growl.
+The rocks are loose then, and it is dangerous. A man was killed once
+just below here, and his body never found till the year after." This
+trivial occurrence seemed to turn his thoughts away from the important
+topic, and I could not get him back to it.
+
+It was a warm day for the season: once in a while it will be hotter in
+these sylvan solitudes than it is in New York. While we were in the
+brook we did not mind that, for we could drop every five minutes and
+drink. I suppose I consumed some nine gallons of _aqua pura_ during the
+morning: you can do this with impunity, because there is no ice in it,
+and the bacteria are of the most wholesome kind. But by and by we
+finished with the gorge: then we had to go across a sort of common, up
+hill. There was no water now, and it was hot. After more trees, and a
+steeper ascent, Jim said, "You'll get a view now." We came out on an
+open place, with steep rocks beneath. Before us lay a wilderness, with
+clearings here and there, and a background of mountains. The forests
+were in their early November bloom; the country looked one great flower.
+In the Alps or the Rockies they can give this odds, and beat it easily,
+but it was pretty well for eastern America--and an occasion to be
+improved. "Jim, if the crags don't appeal to you, this might. If you
+don't feel up to moral grandeur, why not go in for peace? Let your
+perturbed spirit catch the note of harmony from this landscape, and
+drink in purity from this air."
+
+"That is all very fine, and you would make a pretty fair exhorter--with
+practice. But natural theology is not in my line. These hills look
+nicely now, but it will be different within a month. If I am to learn
+peace from a fine day, what from a stormy one? Nature changes for the
+worse like us, and with less shame: she has no regrets for the past, no
+care to keep up appearances or make a show of consistency."
+
+"I fear you have been learning of Nature on her wrong side then. Half
+confidences are in bad taste, Jim. What is it you keep hinting at? It
+ought to be murder, from the airs you put on about it."
+
+"Leave that for to-night, when we have nothing better to attend to.
+There is another brook here we ought to try."
+
+
+
+
+XXVIII.
+
+DIPLOMACY.
+
+
+We got back reasonably early, much less tired than the day before. Now,
+I thought, for some progress. "Well, Jim, you wanted to unfold your tale
+to-night."
+
+"That is, you wanted to ask me about it. You can't do any good, and I
+don't find speech a safety-valve: but I suppose it is my duty to supply
+you with amusement. So get on, and say what is on your mind."
+
+He takes this tone to conceal his morbid yearning to ease his bosom of
+its perilous stuff: I will have his coil unwound pretty soon. If I were
+not here, he would probably be whispering her name under the solemn
+stars, and shouting it in tragic tones on the lonely mountain-top;
+sighing it under the waterfalls, and expecting the trout to echo it. He
+talks about fishing the home brook the first rainy day, but he must have
+scared all the fish away from there with his sentiment. I must remember
+to notice whether 'C. E.' is carved about the forest. He will pretend to
+hold back; but I will get it out of him.--I made this pause long enough
+to let him prepare for the examination on which depends his admission
+into the civil service, so to speak--he will have to be more civil and
+serviceable than hitherto if he is to pass it, and follow me back to
+town--and indeed his whole future.
+
+"You say you have lost something valuable. All you had, you said it was;
+but that is nonsense. You have health, and more money than you want, and
+brains and education, of which you are making very poor use, and
+friends, whom you are treating badly. I can't think what you have
+lost--unless it was your heart, perhaps." This I brought in in the way
+of afterthought, as if it had suddenly occurred to me. He started, but
+assumed a tone of cynical indifference.
+
+"My heart? Would I sit down and howl over that? What use have I for a
+heart, any more than for a poodle? And if I had one, what does it matter
+what may have become of it?"
+
+"Strayed or stolen, probably. Such things have happened, especially when
+persons of the opposite sex are about. They are apt to attach themselves
+to poodles, and vice versa. But if you give me your honor that a loss of
+heart is not the cause of these lamentations--"
+
+"Why will you press that point, Bob? What is done can't be undone, and
+what is broken can't be mended."
+
+"And what is crooked can't be made straight, and what is wanting can't
+be supplied; though these things are done every day and every hour. Why
+any able-bodied lady of my acquaintance, even those at my own house,
+limited as is their experience of the world's devious ways--Jane, I
+mean, or Mabel--could tell you how."
+
+"Robert, I am too old for these follies."
+
+"James, you are the youngest man I ever knew. Any boy of eighteen would
+be apt to know better how to manage such matters, and--if you will
+pardon the frankness you employ yourself--to exhibit more sense."
+
+He stared a little, and I gave him time to recover. Then he took up his
+parable, defensively falling back on the abstract, after his manner.
+
+"Of course I have thought of these things, Bob, and the philosophy of
+them, if they can be said to have any. They seem much like everything
+else. Taking Life in its unfinancial aspects, men do things, not because
+the particular things are worth doing, but as an apology for the
+unwarranted liberty they take in being alive. 'I am: why am I?' said the
+youth at prayer-meeting, and everybody gave it up. As an effort toward
+answering his own conundrum, he entered the ministry. Being alive, we
+have to make a pretense of doing something, which else might better
+remain undone. That is why books are written, and controversies waged;
+it explains most of our intellectual and moral activities. So with
+society: time must be killed, and we go out for an evening, though we
+are dreadfully bored and gain nothing at all. So, I suppose, with what
+is called love. The emotional part of our nature, which is the absurdest
+part of all, finds or fancies itself unemployed: a void craves and aches
+in the breast, and the man, as an old farmer once expressed it, is
+'kinder lovesick for suthin he ain't got and dunno what.' Almost any
+material of the other sex, if you allow a little for taste and
+temperament, will fill the void--in a way, and for a time at least.
+Darby marries Joan and is content, though any other woman would have
+served his turn as well. With us of the finer feelings and higher
+standards, the only difference is that we rant more and sophisticate
+more, as belongs to our wider range. No one ever felt thus
+before--because the feeling is new to us, and newer each time it comes:
+so Festus protests to each successive mistress, perjuring himself in all
+sincerity. Nor was any mistress ever so beautiful and divine as this
+one, appointed to possess and be adored by us. All that is purely a
+mental exercise: carry the illusion a little farther, and it might be
+practised as well on a milliner's lay-figure. 'He that loves a coral
+cheek or a ruby lip admires' is simply a red hot donkey, Bob. Nature
+provides the imbecile desire, Propinquity furnishes an object at random.
+Imagination does all the rest."
+
+"Just so, Jim. I am glad to find you again capable of such lucid and
+exhaustive analysis. But how about what is called _falling_ in love,
+when the wild ass has not been craving to have his void filled up at
+all, but is suddenly brought down unawares by an Amazonian arrow?"
+
+"He was no less a donkey that he didn't know it, and it only comes
+harder for him. The fool ought to have been better acquainted with his
+own interior condition; then he might have eased his descent to his
+royal thistle, secured his repast or gone without it, and got back to
+his stable with a whole skin. Otherwise it is just the same. The heart
+is an idiot baby, Robert: it feeds on pap and thinks it is guzzling
+nectar on Olympus."
+
+"Exactly, James; exactly. As you say, it is our fertile fancy that does
+it all. You and I can conjure up women far more charming than we ever
+met on brick or carpet. If we only had the raw material and knew how to
+work it up, we could beat these flesh and blood girls off the field
+before breakfast. Their merits and attractions are mainly such as we
+generously invest them with; and often they take a mean advantage of our
+kindness."
+
+I glanced at him sideways, and he flushed and winced. "I would not
+derogate from women, nor rate myself so high. I meant only that we
+imagine--well, monstrous heaps of nonsense. For instance, we often fancy
+that they care for us when they don't--and whose fault is that but ours?
+There's a deal of rot talked about lords of creation--when a man isn't
+able to be lord of himself. O, women are very well in their way: I've
+nothing against them. They are just as good as we--better, very likely;
+and wiser, for they don't idealize us as we do them."
+
+"Yes, but this idealizing faculty is a very useful one to have. I see
+you must have found a Blowsalinda on some of these hill farms:--why,
+man, you're as red as her father's beets. I congratulate you, Jim: I do,
+heartily. As you say, the tender passion is merely a spark struck by the
+flint of Opportunity on the steel of Desire; and for the rest, you can
+enrich her practical native virtues with the golden hues of your
+imagination. She'll suit you just as well as any of these proud cityfied
+damsels--after you've sent her a term or two to boarding school; and
+she'll be more content to stay up here than the city girl would."
+
+I paused to view my work, and was satisfied. The shadows of wrath and
+disgust were chasing each other over my friend's intelligent
+countenance. You see, I get so browbeaten at home that I must avenge
+myself on somebody now and then; and of course, it has to be a man. And
+then it is all for Jim's good, and he deserves all he is getting. So I
+went on.
+
+"But seeing this is so, Jim, you ought to be content; and what means all
+your wild talk of last night and this morning, as if you had something
+on your conscience? You haven't--you wouldn't--No, you're not that kind
+of a man. Well then, what in thunder have you been making all this fuss
+about, and pitching into me for?"
+
+He suppressed something with a gulp: I think it was not an expression of
+gratitude or affection. "Confound you, Bob; one never knows how to take
+you. In the name of Satan and all the devils, what are you after now?"
+
+"I'm not after anything in the name of the gentlemen you mention; they
+are no friends of mine, nor objects of my regard. Put a better name on
+it, and I'm after getting you to say what you mean, as we agreed--though
+it seems to be hard work. Who's playing tricks upon travellers, and
+misleading a confiding friend now? I never knew such a man for beating
+about the bush, and talking nonsense." (I remembered this apothegm of
+Jane's, which sounded well, and fitted in nicely just here.)
+
+He appeared to take himself to pieces, shake them well, and put them
+together carefully, before he spoke. "Perhaps my language was obscure,
+or even enigmatical; but I thought you might understand. Forgive me if I
+have been harsh, Bob, not to say uncivil: I have gone through a good
+deal, until I hardly know myself. It is base enough for a man to be thus
+at the mercy of mere externals--and I used to think I could practice the
+Stoic doctrine! But to be human is to be a pitiable, and, if you like, a
+despicable creature. I knew a case that may serve in a way to
+explain--not to justify--my treatment of you. Say it was years ago; the
+man met, in a friend's house, a lady who showed him the utmost kindness.
+She was used to all deference, till she and every one regarded it as her
+right--as it was. And he--it's not pleasant to tell--he ended by
+insulting her. I always understood how that fellow never could bear to
+mention her name, nor to hear it; how any reminder of her, or contact
+with the friends through whom he met her, would upset him. He would get
+confused, and some of his self-reproaches would fall on the wrong heads.
+I suppose you never knew how that could be, Bob."
+
+"I never was in exactly such a scrape as that; but I've been near enough
+to imagine, and make allowances. Your friend must have thought a good
+deal of the lady, in spite of his insulting her. He apologized, of
+course?"
+
+"Certainly, and then took himself off, and kept out of her way ever
+after. It was all he could do."
+
+"Just how did he insult her? It could hardly have been intentional."
+
+"O no. He had had misfortunes, or something of the kind, and she took a
+humane interest in him--tried to help him, no doubt. Women often do such
+things, I believe; it is very creditable to them, but liable to be
+dangerous in a case like this, for men are sometimes fools enough to
+misinterpret it. Well, this particular beast took it into his wooden
+head that she cared for him--in a personal way, you know; and--you
+wouldn't think a man could be such an infernal ape, would you?--he told
+her so."
+
+"He planned beforehand to tell her so--thought that was the right card
+to play, the proper way of wooing?"
+
+"You make him worse than he was. It came out unawares--he was surprised
+into it. The conversation took a certain turn, and he misunderstood for
+a moment. That was all, and it was quite enough."
+
+"What did the lady do then?"
+
+"She was naturally and properly indignant and contemptuous; made him see
+his place. He took it, and took his departure."
+
+"Did it never enter your friend's wise head that he might have
+mismanaged the affair in some other way than the one you mention; for
+instance, in going off so speedily?"
+
+"No other course was possible. Enough of this, Bob: he bore the penalty
+of his offence."
+
+"Excuse me: it's a curious case, and as a student of human nature I like
+to study such, and master all the facts. You say it never occurred to
+him that the worst part of his offence might be his levanting in such
+haste? that it might have been a more appropriate act of penitence to
+wait a day, or five minutes, and give the lady a chance to forgive him?"
+
+"How can you make such low suggestions? The man was not a scoundrel at
+heart: at least he had always passed for a gentleman before, and thought
+himself such."
+
+"For one who goes about insulting ladies, he was a singularly modest
+youth. So he never thought afterwards that there might have been a basis
+of fact for the fancy that made the trouble?"
+
+"Drop the subject, will you? I brought it in merely as an illustration,
+that you might see how a man can be affected--even his character
+changed--by the recollection of such a blunder. It would destroy his
+self-respect."
+
+"Naturally. But self-respect is too good a thing to lose forever, and
+this illustration of yours may serve to pass the time till you are ready
+to talk of your own affairs, which you say it somehow illustrates. Did
+your friend never think that the girl might have led him on, either
+seriously or for mere amusement? If she did, that would be some excuse
+for him."
+
+"I tell you he was not that kind of a blackguard. All sorts of thoughts
+will offer themselves to a man in such a state of mind, I suppose; but
+he knew her too well to admit any that lowered her. O no, he saw the
+fault was all his. At the moment he was bewildered, and could not
+realize the sudden change, nor what he had done; so his apology (if I
+remember that part of his story) may have been inadequate in manner,
+however suitable in words. Apart from that, which could not be mended
+afterwards, he did all he possibly could."
+
+"I beg to differ, Jim. I think this fellow did much worse than you seem
+to realize. Stare as much as you like: if he is still a friend of yours,
+I am sorry for him, as for one who has committed a most outrageous
+blunder and a nearly unpardonable wrong. What right had he to think of
+himself alone? You say the girl had shown goodness of heart, and a real
+interest in him? Then suppose the interest went no further than he
+thought: what business had he to burden her mind with a broken
+friendship and the feeling that she had helped to spoil his life? Or
+suppose the interest in him did go further. What do you and he know
+about a woman's feelings?"
+
+He was pale now, and wild in the eyes. "Your last supposition is
+impossible. For the other--you may possibly be right. He never thought
+she would care--or that he could do anything but what he did."
+
+"A nice lot he is then. If I were you, I would write to him to-morrow
+and give him a lecture--supposing they are both alive and free. And if
+this affair was anyway parallel to your own, of which you won't talk, I
+hope it may be a lesson to you--a warning, if you need one. Do you
+suppose women, of the high-minded and superior sort, have no hearts, no
+consciences, no sense of the duties of humanity? They have a blanked
+sight more than you and your friend seem to have, I can tell you. You'd
+better sleep on this, and wake with some enlarged ideas. As you decline
+to tell me anything of yourself, and so I can't help you there, I'm
+going to bed."
+
+
+
+
+XXIX.
+
+SUBMISSION.
+
+
+Next day Jim was haggard and restless, and wanted to potter about the
+house. I took him to the largest stream in those parts, when our rods
+came in play; and there he did some of the worst fishing I ever
+saw--worse than I did in May, when I had him on my mind. He has himself
+on his mind now, and some one else too. He kept trying to talk, which is
+impossible when you are wading. After he had lost a two-pounder and
+fallen into a deep hole, I got out on the bank to avoid a place where
+the water went down hill too fast--something between rapids and a
+cascade. He came and sat on a log by me, looking disconsolate.
+
+"Jim," I said, "You're pretty wet. Perhaps you'd better go home and
+write that letter."
+
+"I don't see my way yet. How can you be so positive?"
+
+"Because I've heard the story before, and know more about it than you
+do. I had a friend who was there at the time too. O, it caused some
+talk, I can tell you. Did your hero suppose it would interest nobody but
+himself?"
+
+"Yes, as I told you. Good heavens! You don't mean--"
+
+"O, no public talk; only the family, and people who knew the facts and
+could be trusted. They were all sorry for him too; they thought he was
+such an ass. You see a performance like his can't end where it begins;
+it has consequences."
+
+"You say, 'for him too.' They couldn't be sorry for the lady--why should
+they?"
+
+"You are pigheaded, Jim. What did I tell you last night? This thing put
+its mark on her, in a way no man has a right to mark a woman without
+her consent. See that trout jump, in the pool down yonder? I must get
+him."
+
+"Wait a moment. What I told you about could not have been known unless
+the lady told it; and she was not of that sort. I don't understand."
+
+"Decidedly you don't. I can't waste a day like this on second-hand
+gossip, Jim; as you said yesterday, the evening is the time for talk.
+You go home and change your clothes and rest your brain. I know my way
+here, and I want to fill my basket. I'll get back in time for supper.
+Here, you can take these."
+
+And so I sent him off. He is biddable and humble now, and will be more
+so presently; in a kind of transition state, he is. He came back in the
+afternoon, and sat on the bank while I pulled out the biggest fish yet.
+I carried home the best basket we've had; not so many specimens, but far
+finer ones, than from that Devil's Brook in the Land Accursed. In
+fishing, as in other things, a good deal depends on your state of mind.
+
+That evening I dressed for dinner, as far as I could, like a gentleman;
+not that any visitors were likely to drop in, but I thought it due to
+the occasion. Jim, having plenty of leisure at command, and noting my
+manoeuvres, did the same. He ate little, but I paid due attention to the
+trout and claret, and took my time to it; though we do not have a lot of
+courses and ceremony at meals up here, nor are such necessary. Then we
+settled ourselves in easy chairs before the great fireplace, where pine
+logs were roaring: the nights are cold now, and this is one comfort of
+these out-of-the-way places, where fuel is plenty.
+
+As soon as he had a chance, he began. "There is some mystery about this,
+Bob. You wouldn't answer my question this morning."
+
+"Now that I have dined, James, I'll answer any questions you
+like--provided they are such as may fitly be put to the father of a
+family. So fire away."
+
+"First then, how do you come to know so much about this?"
+
+"Because I was there. O, not eavesdropping, not as a spy--that is out of
+my line; but purely, and luckily as it proves, by accident." And I told
+him all about it. I will not say that his jaw dropped, but his facial
+apparatus elongated.
+
+"Then Cl--she knows that you know?"
+
+"Not a word. What do you take me for? How could I tell her?"
+
+"But--the others know?"
+
+"Certainly not. You have the most extraordinary notions, Hartman. It was
+her secret, not theirs. If you had been in my place, perhaps you would
+have written to the papers, or told the story at family prayers. Can't
+you see that it was impossible for me to let her know till I had had it
+out with you?"
+
+"And you have stood by me, knowing all this--you are still my friend?"
+
+"Well, if I had had merely myself to consider, my natural loathing and
+contempt for the beast, ape, idiot and scoundrel who was capable of such
+conduct might have led me to extremities. O, I endorse all the
+compliments you have paid yourself. But there is my interesting family;
+the twins have quite a regard for you, and Herbert. And so has my wife;
+she doesn't know you as well as I do. And my sister--a superior person,
+though too soft-hearted, whom I cherish with a deep fraternal
+affection--she has been besieging me with intercessions, and melting my
+obduracy with her tears; and that for one who has made all this coil,
+and whose qualities have been too well enumerated by himself."
+
+"I will try to be more deserving of her kindness, Bob: I told you she
+was the right sort. But you said just now they did not know."
+
+"Only by surmise, and inference from your hasty departure, and
+from--subsequent developments. Women are not wholly fools, Jim: they are
+just as good as we; perhaps better, and sometimes wiser. O, they are
+very well in their way. Let us bear with them, James, and allow for
+their redeeming traits."
+
+"Don't hit a man with his own words when he is down, Bob. But--there is
+Another, whom you've not mentioned."
+
+"So there is: you didn't mention her, either. Come to think of it, there
+is another member of my household, whom we have overlooked in this
+discussion, yet to whom I owe some sort of consideration."
+
+"Of course I know who is first with you: I am content to come in a bad
+second. You haven't--I suppose--any word--from Her?"
+
+"What do you take her for? Ladies can't do that sort of thing. See here,
+Hartman, don't get on that line again. She is used to due respect."
+
+His face fell. "I know: I mean nothing else. What have you to say to me
+then?"
+
+"Say? Haven't I said enough? Confound you, it's your turn to say things
+now."
+
+"I thought I had said a good deal. O, I am ready to make my submission,
+if it will do any good. Imagine the rest, can't you? Don't be playing
+your games on me now, Bob."
+
+There was a tone of pathos in this: I took a good look at him, and saw
+that he was doing the contrite as well as I could expect. He will do it
+better without a middleman when he gets the chance; he'll hardly lapse
+into the other style again soon. All I have to do is to secure her
+position meanwhile.
+
+"Well, what comes next? I believe I am on the witness-stand now."
+
+"Tell me about Her, Bob."
+
+"She is changed. Of old, one never knew what to expect of her. Now she
+is different. No stale customs about her, my boy."
+
+"'Nor custom stale her infinite variety,' I suppose you mean. Yes, so I
+found--but that was my own fault. Some might prefer your version. But
+you don't imply--"
+
+"No, I don't. You must find out for yourself about that. I thought you
+knew that she is chary of her confidences, and that none of us is given
+to seeking them. She has mentioned your name once in all this time, and
+then to say that you and I were great clumsy things--which is true;
+measurably of me, of you most eminently."
+
+"What chance is there for me then?" He was discouraged again. Jim is so
+foolish; he gets exalted and depressed on the slightest provocation.
+Perhaps I was like that once, but it was long ago.
+
+"Well, she knows I am here; do you suppose I would have come if she
+objected? Make what you can out of that.--You needn't make too much of
+it either: go slow, now. You see she doesn't like to be thwarted in her
+benevolent plans; and you were a wild man, to be reclaimed and
+civilized. Instead of submitting like a decent savage, you broke loose
+all at once, and left her to feel that she had done you harm instead of
+good. You are the only fellow who ever gave her any trouble: I can't see
+how you had the cheek to do it. Why, man, you have got to learn manners
+if you want to associate with that kind. She could do better than you
+any day; but a wilful woman must have her way, and a gentleman usually
+lets her have it.--Now there you go again. I didn't say what her way
+might be in this case, did I? How should I know what she wants of you?
+Probably just to smooth you down, and be friends, and see you behave.
+The other supposition, as you said last night, is too wildly impossible.
+You ought to be glad to meet her on any terms she may choose to make,
+and thankful and proud to undergo any penance of her imposing, after
+your conduct, and the annoyance it has caused her and all of us. Most
+women, in her place, would let you stay in the woods and eat your heart
+out. Perhaps she will yet; you needn't look so pleased. All I know is
+that you owe her reparation. You ought to go on your knees from here to
+the avenue, even if you have to come back on foot."
+
+"You have gained in insight since August, Bob. You express my views with
+accuracy--though one can hardly talk of these matters to another man. I
+always honored you for holding Her in such esteem. But practically, what
+am I to do?"
+
+"That is not easy to say, James: it can hardly be plain sailing. If
+women were not more forgiving than we, bless their little hearts, you
+would have no chance to do anything. And the finer grain they are of,
+the more embarrassing it becomes; with her sort it is peculiarly
+difficult. I know, from long and trying experience; I have to mind my
+p's and q's, I tell you. If you had taken up with one of these farmers'
+daughters, as you nearly led me to believe last night--there's nothing
+to get mad about--it would have been much simpler and easier for you. If
+it were that other man, I should say to him, Write to the lady, if you
+think that safe: I don't advise it. But if you had a friend who knew her
+well, and was a person of capacity and resource and great tact and
+approved discretion, and willing to employ all these qualities in your
+service--"
+
+"O, I'll leave the affair in your hands: I don't see what else I can do.
+I'm everlastingly obliged to you, of course."
+
+"Yes, I should think you would be; a nice mess you'd make of it by
+yourself. You have no idea how this thing has weighed on my mind ever
+since you left us at Newport; nor how awkward it is, even for me, to
+approach a girl of her sensitive pride and highminded delicacy on such a
+subject. But I'm ready to go on suffering in your cause, James, even if
+it be for years."
+
+"I hope it won't take as long as that. Hurry it up, old man, now you've
+got a start. Don't let the injury to Her and the weight on my conscience
+go on accumulating. What you do, do quickly."
+
+"So you'd like me to rush off to-morrow? There's gratitude. No, sir; I
+must think the matter over, and I may have to consult you about details.
+Besides, they are all exercised about my health, and expect me to make
+my week out. Your case is not a strong one, James; all depends on the
+way it is put. I will not ruin it by indecent pressure or undue haste.
+Leave it to me, and let sweet sleep revisit the weary head whence she
+has fled so long. In simpler language, keep still and do as I tell you,
+and don't bother."
+
+I took pen and ink to my room, and indited a home epistle. It informed
+Mabel that I was progressing toward recovery, and expected to ship some
+large trout, carefully packed in ice; also that she was a true prophet,
+and the other business in hand was moving just as she had foretold. I
+enclosed a brief note to Clarice, which said simply, "O. K. Ever thine,"
+and signed it with my initials and Jim's: and a cartoon for Jane, which
+I sat up late to design and execute. It represented a small lover,
+transfixed with a large arrow, prostrating himself before a Haughty
+Damsel of High Degree. This work of art, with the subjoined effusions,
+will keep up their spirits till I get home.
+
+
+
+
+XXX.
+
+WASTED ADVICE.
+
+
+I will not tell you what more we did that week, nor how many wagonloads
+of big game we bagged when we sallied forth with guns to make war upon
+the monarchs of the forest: perhaps their hides and horns are on view in
+my library, and perhaps not. Nor will you expect any more scenery of me,
+seeing how I have groaned and sweated to produce the pen-pictures you
+have already enjoyed: I don't desire to advertise Jim's retreat too
+much, and spoil its seclusion. He was impatient and restive, but feeling
+much better than when I came, and ready to do anything I wished--of
+course. But he wanted to talk all the time, and ask questions: he kept
+me busy pacifying him, till I was tired. Rational conversation on
+serious subjects is good, but to be thus forever harping on small
+personal feelings and relations makes one realize that Silence is
+Golden. Clarice never acts in that way: I wish Jim would have some
+occasional flashes of taciturnity, like Macaulay.
+
+The day before I left, while we were burying a calf I had shot by
+mistake, he said, "Bob, do you remember my asking you once, in a purely
+suppositious way, what you would do if I were to quarrel with--Her?"
+
+"O yes. But the farmer that owned this late lamented beast ought to be
+paid for it."
+
+"Never mind that. I'll attend to it after you're gone, and save your
+feelings. Well, you said you'd stand by both of us."
+
+"Hang my feelings: do you suppose I expend feelings on a misguided
+heifer? It got in the bushes where you said I might look for a deer, and
+here's a ten on account; you can write me if it costs more. My
+sympathies, James, are reserved for nobler animals when they make worse
+mistakes."
+
+"Yes, as I have proved. You've kept your word; but you were pretty rough
+on me."
+
+"Your conduct was pretty rough on all of us. I had to open your eyes;
+and I don't want you to try those tricks again. If you do, I may have to
+shoot you by mistake."
+
+"You would have been welcome to shoot me last week. Why did you leave me
+so long in the dark, Bob?"
+
+"O, the deuce! Were explanations due from our side? It's true you need
+somebody to take care of you; but, you see, I have others to look after,
+and so can't devote myself exclusively to you: you'd better get a
+keeper. It was Jane who urged my coming up here. I always meant to, but
+I couldn't till Clarice suggested it."
+
+"She suggested it, did she? You never told me that before."
+
+"I ought not to have told you now, if it makes you fly off the handle in
+this way. She merely said to Mabel, no doubt in all sincerity, that I
+looked badly and needed a change; she said nothing about my coming here.
+She has a regard for me; whether you are anybody in her eyes remains to
+be seen. Don't jump to conclusions, now. The Princess is not a person to
+take liberties with, as I've learned by repeated lessons."
+
+"I know it, Bob: one lesson is enough for me. I suppose it would hardly
+do for me to go back with you?"
+
+"Hardly. Personally I should be delighted, and so would some others;
+but--you know as well as I do. I have got to feel somebody's pulse, and
+proceed very gingerly. Possess your soul in what patience you can till
+you hear from me. See here, Hartman; with your views, and your
+well-grounded aversion to domestic and even social life, a little of
+this sort of thing ought to go a long way. I should think you'd be
+unwilling to risk contact with the world again. A child that will play
+about the cars, you know, after it's once been run over--"
+
+"O, but you have opened my eyes to a sacred duty. Honor is above
+self-preservation. I want to purge my conscience, you see."
+
+"Then do that and pause there. It was your vaulting ambition which
+overleaped all bounds before. If you get into another row, you may have
+to stay in it. I have full power of attorney, you say; well, I may have
+to make all sorts of promises for you before I can get you leave to
+return to duty, and you'll be expected to keep them. You don't know how
+difficult that will be for your unbridled inexperience; you'll be
+cabined, cribbed, confined within the dull limits of Propriety. It would
+be much better for you to be content with a correspondence, if you can
+get as far as that. You could expound your penitence and changed views
+by mail, and have time to think what you were saying, and get it in
+shape; whereas, if you plunge into the cold and heartless world again,
+you'll probably get into more trouble, and I can't come up here to set
+you straight again--not before next May. You were right, James: there is
+nothing in common between you and the world. Why expose yourself to its
+temptations, its dangers, its hollow and soul-wearying forms? This
+atmosphere is so much purer; there is less of Vanity and Woe up here.
+Stay where you are well off. Clarice can write a pretty good letter when
+she chooses; I'll try to fix it that way for you." But he would not
+accept this reasonable view, and insisted on my getting permission for
+him to come down before Christmas, and as much sooner as possible.
+
+So nobody but he could drive me to the cars; he filled the fifteen miles
+with charges and reminders. As the train moved off, he was waving his
+hat, his face radiant with hope and pathetic with confidence. He looks
+ten years younger than he did last week. A pretty fellow he is to call
+himself a Pessimist.
+
+
+
+
+XXXI.
+
+RESULTS REPORTED.
+
+
+I reached home in the early evening. The servant told me at the door
+that Mrs. T. was in attendance on Master Herbert, who had fallen over
+the banisters and injured his nasal organ. I rushed upstairs: Mabel met
+me with no demonstrations of grief or anxiety. "I see by your face that
+it is all right--as I always said it would be. Go to Clarice; she is in
+the library. O, Herbert? He fell on his nose, of course; he always does.
+It is not at all serious. The dear child has been feeling better since
+we heard from you, and taking more exercise. Clarice has the first right
+to your news."
+
+I found her, and dropped on my knees. She looked at me, not so sweetly
+as of late. "Get up, Robert, I thought I had cured you of your bad habit
+of untimely jesting."
+
+"You have. I realize the solemnity of the occasion, if you do not. My
+name is James--no, that's not it. I am a representative, an envoy. You
+see before you a banished man who has justly incurred his sovereign's
+displeasure, and has repented day and night. This posture, perhaps
+unseemly in the father of a family, expresses the other fellow's state
+of mind. He's afraid to come himself, and so he sent me."
+
+She looked at me again, and saw that I was serious. You see, these
+delicate matters have to be managed delicately. I can't do the
+unmitigated tragedy business as well as Hartman might, and yet I had to
+meet the requirements of the situation, and the Princess' expectations,
+which are always high. People who have their own affairs of this kind to
+conduct might sometimes avoid painful failures by taking a leaf out of
+my book, and mixing the difficult passages with a little--a very
+little--chastened and judicious humor; then they would avoid overdoing
+it, and sending the lady off disgusted.
+
+"Does he take all the blame?"
+
+"Absolutely: he did from the first moment. He can't come here to say so
+till he's allowed, and he can't get up till you give him a token of
+forgiveness."
+
+She gave it: it was inexpensive to her, and soothing to the penitent--or
+would have been if he had been there to get it in person. I took it
+simply on his account.
+
+"Keep still now, and let me think."
+
+I kept still. The attitude of prayer, while well suited to the lighter
+forms of ladies, is inconvenient to a man of my size, and deeply
+distressing when I am obliged to maintain it for more than five minutes;
+for that reason I don't go to church as much as I might. But I had to
+keep quiet while she did her thinking. May it be recorded to my credit!
+I would bear a good deal for Clarice, and sometimes I have to.
+
+At last she finished her cogitations. "O, get up, Robert; I forgot. What
+else have you to tell me? But don't you want some supper?"
+
+I was as hungry as a bison, but that was a secondary consideration.
+
+"The supper can wait while I have your work to do. I'll tell you
+anything you care to know: he wants to have no secrets from you. But it
+has all been graphically summed up already. A famous orator of old told
+a young fellow who went to him to learn how to speak a piece, 'Act it.'
+That's what I've been doing the last half hour: I didn't think it would
+take so long."
+
+I rubbed my knees, which were still sore: the library carpet is
+reasonably thick, but it was not built for devotional uses, "I suppose
+Hartman would be glad to stay down there all night if he had the chance.
+But he'd be awkward about it--infernally awkward. You see, he has had no
+practice in this kind of thing; he doesn't know your ways as I do. I
+wonder if you will ever get him into as good training as you have me."
+
+I put in this light badinage to relieve any embarrassment she might
+feel--not that she could show any such if she tried, but for what you
+and I know even she might feel it--and to let her get used to the
+situation. But she did not seem to care for it. "That's enough for now,
+Robert. Go and get your supper." She said this in a weary tone. My heart
+sank.
+
+"Princess dear, have I offended you? I meant it all right. Have I done
+anything wrong, and made a mess of this as usual?"
+
+She gave me her hand. "O no, Bob. But go now. I'll talk more to you
+to-morrow."
+
+Now I thought I had done this up in the most superior style, and that
+she would be pleased for once. But the ways of women are past man's
+understanding.
+
+Jane awaited me in the dining-room with viands and an anxious brow, and
+would scarcely let me appease the cravings of exhausted nature. She sent
+the servant out, and ministered to my wants herself.
+
+"Brother, you look downcast. Have you returned with empty hands?"
+
+"I have brought some of the finest trout you ever saw--not in mere size
+perhaps, but in flavor, colors, and gaminess. You didn't expect me to
+carry 'em on a string over my shoulder, did you? And I would have
+brought some venison, but you don't care for it. You told me once that
+their eyes were so pretty and plaintive, it was a shame to kill them. I
+always try to please you, so I thought I would let them live.--Yes,
+thank you, I have brought back more health than I took away: I may be
+able now to stand the fatigues of business till Thanksgiving.--O,
+Hartman? I couldn't bring him along, you know: where is your sense of
+propriety? I advised him to stay up there where he is safe, and not
+tempt the shafts and arrows any more. What, I 'haven't done anything
+then, after all?' O, haven't I! Jane, you are worse than a serpent's
+tooth: if Lear had been in my place, he would have talked about a
+thankless sister. It has been a weary, toilsome, painful task, and few
+men could have carried it through to so happy an end. And when I come
+back hungering for sympathy--I told you what my nature was--you meet me
+with cold words and suspicious looks. It is enough to make one weep, and
+long for the silent grave. If it were Hartman, you would do the weeping,
+no doubt. Yet that man, whom you thus unnaturally set above your
+brother--you have no idea of his harshness, his violence, his embittered
+prejudice and obstinacy; nor of the patience and gentleness and
+persuasive force with which I expelled the demons that possessed him,
+and brought him to his right mind. O, he has had an overhauling; he will
+take care how he does it again. But he is all right now."
+
+"I wonder at that, after his being in your hands for a week. Your tender
+mercies were cruel, I fear. What does Clarice say to this? Is she
+satisfied?"
+
+"She ought to be, but she says nothing at all; couldn't take in the
+magnitude of my news at once, most likely. Yet I took pains to break it
+to her delicately, and with light touches of humor, to relieve any
+strain there might be."
+
+"Yes, soothed her nerves as with a nutmeg-grater, no doubt. You will
+serenade her next with tin pans and fish-horns, and think that a
+delicate attention. Brother, Clarice does not share your peculiar view
+of humor, nor do I. Mabel tries to comprehend it and to catch your tone,
+as is her melancholy duty; but it is hard work for her. Well, what does
+Mr. Hartman say?--Don't tell me anything that is private, or belongs to
+Clarice alone."
+
+"O, you may hear most of it. He says all sorts of things--anything you
+like. You see he can't be trusted, or trust himself, any longer, so I
+have full power to represent him."
+
+"That is definite, and convenient for you, whatever it may be to others.
+Of course a man will promise anything when he has an object to gain. I
+suppose you left him in the depths of despair and on a pinnacle of
+ecstasy at once."
+
+"That is about it. Let us be thankful that you and I are well beyond
+these follies.--My dear, I wasn't alluding to your age; upon my honor
+I wasn't. I only meant that your elevation of mind and dignity of
+character lift you far above such idiotic transports, and give you a
+right to despise weak creatures like Jim, and in some degree even
+myself. No man is worthy of you, Jane: you know you never would look at
+any of them. What did I tell you about your looks? Except Clarice, and
+perhaps I ought to say Mabel, and a few on the cars, you are by far the
+handsomest woman I've seen since I left home."
+
+"After your week among the belles of Wayback, that compliment seems
+strained. O, I see: Clarice was not in the right mood just now, and your
+tide of geniality rolled back upon itself, so that it has to break loose
+on some one else: or you are to see her again to-morrow, and must
+practice smooth things meantime to say then.--Ah, it is both, is it?"
+
+"Sister, you are an external conscience--except that you won't approve
+when I have done the right thing, and done it well. You would be
+invaluable to Jim. I doubt whether he and Clarice will get on; and he
+thinks a heap of you. If he don't suit her on further inspection, or
+makes any more blunders, you might take him in hand and make a man of
+him."
+
+"So as to keep him in reach as material for you? Robert, if you want me
+to comfort you when Clarice is gone, you will have to make your light
+humor much lighter yet, and let me select subjects for its exercise."
+
+"Now, now--do you think I would offer you secondhand goods? If I had
+known him then as I do to-day, I would have let her go off in June as
+she proposed, and fixed it the other way. It would have saved no end of
+bother."
+
+"And deprived you of a source of huge amusement, and an unprecedented
+field for the display of your peculiar talents. Do you think men and
+women are mere puppets for you to play with? You would make but a poor
+tenth-rate Providence--though you may have succeeded in this case. Tell
+me how you did it."
+
+"I showed him that he was all wrong. He knew that already, but thought
+she didn't care. I told him she did."
+
+"Robert! You have not betrayed her? Is this your diplomacy?"
+
+"Of course not: how you talk, Jane. I said her interest in him was
+philanthropic, and he had behaved with brutal ingratitude--like a
+charity patient in the hospital, or a bad boy at Sunday School; so he
+ought to yearn to come back--if she will kindly allow--and give her a
+chance to go on reforming him or not, just as she pleases. I admitted
+the purely speculative possibility that it might be otherwise--of a more
+personal and commonplace description--just to encourage him a little;
+but as he had said at the start that this chance was practically
+nonexistent, I let him think so and dwelt on the other view, which was
+new to him, and impressive. O, I preserved her dignity; that was the
+first necessity. If he is cherishing any hopes of the vulgar, everyday
+sort, he did not get them from me."
+
+"And did he believe all that? If so, I must have been mistaken in the
+man."
+
+"He had to believe it. It was the simple truth: I merely arranged the
+colors properly on his mental canvas. He thinks I am Solon and
+Rhadamanthus and Nehemiah in one. How would you have done it perhaps,
+when you had to hook your fish without letting him get the bait--induce
+him to commit himself, and yet not commit her at all?"
+
+"I don't know, brother. You could not have thrown her on his generosity,
+of course; she would have killed herself and him and all of us, rather
+than take happiness at such a price--and I can't blame her. Yet she
+despises a subterfuge. I would not tell her the details if I were you;
+she will not ask for them, nor want to hear them. It is a queer world:
+when such things have to be done--sacrificing your best friend to insure
+his welfare, deceiving him in the interest of one who abhors
+deception--your eccentricities may be of more use than I had hitherto
+supposed possible."
+
+I pretended to be deeply pained at this; but in my heart I knew it was
+high praise, coming from Jane. She is not like Clarice; she asked all
+manner of questions, and kept me answering them three mortal hours.
+Fortunately Mabel has less curiosity, or I should not have got much
+sleep that night, after all my ill-appreciated labors. But I don't
+regret what I did for Hartman; _he_ believes what you tell him.
+
+
+
+
+XXXII.
+
+CONFESSION.
+
+
+Clarice was not at breakfast next day; but as I was going out, she met
+me in the hall. "Robert, can you come back at four?"
+
+"At any hour you wish, Princess; or I will stay now."
+
+"No, that will be early enough. I will be in the library."
+
+Now that is Clarice all over: she is herself again. No eagerness, no
+petty curiosity, but a grand indifference, a statuesque calm, a
+goddess-like withdrawal from the affairs and atmosphere of common
+mortals. Indeed it is not she who will ask for details that any other
+woman would burn to know: a single question as to the vital point, and
+then "what else have you to tell me?" The rest might keep a day, a week,
+a month. Her taste was always for large outlines, her mind has breadth
+and grasp and comprehension; when she seemed to care for little things,
+she was at play. In a matter like this, her secret thoughts are the main
+element; what others may think or say or do need be noticed only as
+contributing material for them to work with. What has vexed her all this
+time has been that the sacrilege of events had put one factor in the
+problem out of reach, beyond her control: she has been used to having
+all she wanted of the earth, and deigning to want but little of it and
+to value that little but lightly. Now that she cares for something at
+last, and it is at her call again, she will weigh and measure the
+situation, and all its aspects and possibilities, in the silent council
+chamber of her soul, and the decision will go forth before any one
+ventures to ask what it may be. Stay in your cave, hermit of Wayback,
+and say your _Ave Clarissa_ as patiently as you can: when the edict
+calls you to court, your part will be cast for you, and you will have
+nothing to do but say the lines. If you break bounds again and stray
+from your proper posture before the throne, or put in any more of your
+irreverent gags, I am done with you.
+
+I have wrought your will, my Princess, and brought back your pretty toy,
+for you to mend or break: you hardly mean to break it. Yet it is a pity
+to see you descend to common uses, to ordering a house and taking care
+of poor old Jim; you were born to shine apart in solitary state, and
+have men gaze at you wistfully from far below. No man can rate more
+highly than I the domestic relations, affections, virtues; but I don't
+like to see you put yourself in the category of mere human beings, as if
+marriage and a man were good enough for you. You will have your way, now
+as always, and use me at your will: it is you who have the ordering of
+this funeral, not I.
+
+As she did not seem to like my style last night, I had better be sober
+and plain this afternoon; sort of Quaker thee and thou, without artistic
+embellishments. Yes, by Jove, I'll have to be, for there's the guilty
+secret to be unloaded. There is no excuse for keeping it to myself any
+longer, now Jim has it; sooner or later she must know that I've known
+all along what was not meant for me, and it may as well be done now,
+whatever the result. It will not please her, but I can't help that. I
+will not break my word and keep a thing from her, except as there is
+reason; to tell it can do no great harm now, unless to me--and that is a
+minor matter.
+
+At the hour appointed I was on deck: no one ever interrupts the
+Princess, and we were undisturbed. "Robert, I had better hear your
+report. Cut it short, please; give me a condensed outline merely."
+
+What did I tell you? This was said with an air as if she were
+discharging an unwelcome duty, so that I might not feel neglected. She
+evidently resents the impertinence of circumstances in forcing her to
+allow me to have a hand in her private matters: it will be as much as I
+can expect if she forgives me for meddling. Obeying orders, I endeavored
+to be brief and business-like.
+
+"He has had a bad time of it, Clarice. He was a changed man when I got
+there--rough and morose and unmanageable; kept hinting at some
+mysterious crime he had committed. It was a day or two before I could
+bring him to book, by methods on which I need not dwell. Detective work
+is not a nice business; the means has to take its justification from the
+end. He made his confession as if it were another's; said how superior
+you were, and how basely he had repaid your condescension. He thought
+that ended the affair, except for his lifelong remorse; hoped he might
+die soon; impossible to be forgiven, or regarded by you in any light but
+that of a loathsome object--regular stage part, you know, but perfectly
+sincere: if you like innocence, he can supply a first-class article. I
+put a head on him by saying his behavior had been much more flagrant
+than he realized, and the worst part of it was interfering with your
+plans and going off in such a hurry; that ladies like to be consulted in
+such cases, and sometimes to administer divine forgiveness, or at least
+punish the transgressor in their own way, and not leave it all to
+him.--You need not look at me like that, Princess. I know nothing of
+your feelings, and told him so. Of course I maintained your dignity:
+what else was I there for? And so, to do him justice, did he, as far as
+he knows how. He is just where you like to have them--or would if you
+cared enough about them. After I had enlightened him as to his duty, it
+was all simple. I gave him just sufficient hope--of pardon, I mean--to
+keep him alive, and turn his despair to active penitence. The game is
+entirely in your hands now. He was on fire to come back with me, or to
+write at once. I said he must take no more liberties, but wait for
+permission. If I may venture a suggestion, you might let me tell him to
+write you; then you can graciously allow him to come when you are ready
+for him."
+
+That I may call a succinct and lucid narrative. She listened to it with
+clear eyes like Portia, as if she were a judge and had to hear such
+cases every day. Now for questions: I bet odds there will not be more
+than three, and those straight to the heart of my discourse--nothing
+irrelevant, or secondary, or sentimental.
+
+"Did he say what had been his offence?"
+
+"Presumption. He insulted you--though of course he didn't mean to--and
+you very properly resented it and withered him with contempt. He never
+understood, till I made him see it, that what he did next was worse than
+this, as emphasizing the wrong and making it--for a while--irrevocable."
+
+Her eyes were like judgment lightnings now, that might burn through the
+darkness and bring out all hidden things. Luckily I had nothing to hide;
+or rather I was about to make a clean breast of it.
+
+"How were you able to speak so positively?"
+
+"That is what he asked me, and therein lay such power as I had to master
+him; at least it was the chief weapon in my arsenal. I answer you as I
+answered him: By knowing more about the matter than he did. Princess, I
+have deceived you all along, and broken my promise to tell you
+everything. I saw and overheard the quarrel." And then I told her all
+about it.
+
+She looked at me silently, with an expression I never saw before. I
+turned away, as one turns from the sun in his strength. I was sitting on
+a stool beside her, and I suppose my head went down. Suddenly a hand was
+on my forehead, pushing it back. "Robert, look at me. What was your
+motive in keeping this from me?"
+
+"O, the motives were mixed; they always are. There was my dread of
+offending you; that was selfish. And more than that, I did not want to
+hurt you, if it could be avoided. And most, I was not willing to
+complicate the trouble, and all but certainly make it worse. It seemed
+to me that you would be shocked, and disgusted, and enraged to know that
+a third person had intruded on so private a scene, and surprised a
+secret that belonged to you. Don't fancy that I was blaming you; that
+was my rough guess at how any woman would feel, most of all you: perhaps
+I was wrong. I thought that for you to know might widen the breach, and
+destroy all chance of reconciliation. I had to think of him, as well as
+of you. Not as well, no; not as much--you know that; but of him too. I
+could not tell you till I had told him, and made the matter right--if
+you will have it so. You will not let it turn you against him now--this
+fact that I was there? It was not his fault: it was an accident, and I
+am the only one to blame. I did the best I could, after such lights as I
+had."
+
+Still the great eyes kept burning into mine; but they did not hurt so
+much as I had expected. "Did you tell Mabel and Jane of this?"
+
+"How could I? It was your secret. What do you take me for, Clarice? I
+never breathed a word of it, of course, until I had it out with Jim a
+week ago, and brought him to his senses: after that I thought you ought
+to know. Mabel and Jane never dreamed that I knew anything beyond what
+little you might have told me, or let me see."
+
+Her arms were round my neck now. There was a minute or two of silence: I
+really did not know what to say next. Then she looked up, tears in her
+eyes, a tone I never could describe in her voice.
+
+"And you have done all this for me, Robert!"
+
+I made a feeble attempt to unloose her hands and draw myself up. "Don't
+talk that way, Clarice; it hurts me. You make too much of this; it was a
+matter of course, and there is nothing new in it. I thought you knew I
+was always ready to do anything I could for you: that is an old story,
+as you used to say."
+
+The effort at dignity was not successful, for her head drooped again.
+Soon she raised it, a smile chasing the tears away.
+
+"You can triumph over Jane now. She used to say you never could keep a
+secret. Did you enjoy keeping this one, Bob?"
+
+"Not exactly. I will keep some more if you insist on it, but it would be
+more enjoyable if they were of another sort. No more like this, if it is
+the same to you."
+
+"You said you used this as a weapon to master him with. Why didn't you
+use it on me? It might have been good for me to be mastered and
+overruled."
+
+I had to laugh now. "Jim can try that by and by--if he dares. Other men
+may overrule other women, perhaps; I know my place too well. Clarice, it
+is not like you to talk nonsense. If I could have consulted you about
+this--how to keep the secret, and what to do with it--it would have made
+things easier for me, but unhappily that was not feasible. You don't
+mean it would have done good instead of harm if I had told you earlier?"
+
+"I doubt it. No, you were right. Brother, there is so much more of you
+than any of us thought!"
+
+"So Hartman has found. But I don't want to be unduly exalted. Love is
+better than pride, and this trouble of yours has brought us all closer
+together, I believe. There is only one thing to be done yet."
+
+"No; two at least. Robert, you deserve to know everything. I will tell
+you what we were talking about that wretched day, so that you may see
+what excuse there was for him, and how wrong I was. And then you can
+tell Jane and Mabel."
+
+"I don't want to know, my dear, nor is there any need to tell them
+anything. None of us desire to pry into your affairs, but only to see
+them set right. It was plain that something led up to poor Jim's
+blunder, and that is enough. You can tell Mabel and Jane what you like
+before he comes back,--though they won't ask it.--I will overrule you
+for once, as you insist. You want to put a force upon yourself for my
+sake, and I will not have it; not another word of that. But--and in this
+case I am not overruling, but only suggesting--Jim is waiting all this
+time. May I tell him that he can write to you?"
+
+"Not just yet. You have opened my eyes as well as his, Bob; you've
+revealed so many masculine virtues that I must take them in by degrees.
+You've been keeping yourself in the background and putting him forward,
+as if I could be interested in one person only. Now let him wait a day
+or two, while I think about you."
+
+There may have been more of these exchanges, which I do not care to
+repeat. What goes on in the domestic circle is essentially of a private
+nature, too intimate and sacred to be whispered into the general ear.
+There are persons who will violate these holy confidences, and tell you
+what he said and she said when the doors were shut. I am not like them.
+If I appear at times to break my own rule and treat you as a member of
+the household, it is merely for your improvement, that you may see (as I
+told Jim last summer) how things are arranged in a christian family: and
+especially that, when any trouble of this kind invades your own humble
+roof, you may know how to slay the lion and extract strength and
+sweetness from his carcass, as I have done. Should these pages instruct
+but a single brother, whether by nature or adoption, how to unwind his
+sister's tangled affairs and bring them to a prosperous conclusion, I
+shall not have penned them in vain.
+
+
+
+
+XXXIII.
+
+A FAMILY CONCLAVE.
+
+
+I had written to Hartman more than once since my return, telling him to
+keep up his spirits and bide his time. Before long came the permission
+to open a correspondence with a more important person than I. What he
+wrote I know not; he is probably able to do that well enough, whatever
+blunders he may commit when face to face. I have reason to believe his
+outpouring was answered, with excessive brevity but to the purpose, in
+the one word, 'Come.' In fact, the Princess declined (and very properly)
+to expend a postage-stamp on him, or to gratify him with an envelope of
+her own inditing, but told me to enclose this minute but inflammatory
+document in non-explosive wrappings of my own.
+
+He was to arrive on a certain day in late November. The evening
+previous, as we were sitting together, Clarice--who generally prefers
+her own society, and I can't blame her--appeared, in our midst (if that
+expression is allowable), with an aspect of grim determination. I rose
+to give her a chair in the corner, but she sat down where she could see
+us and we could look at her. We did so, anxiously expectant, for this
+was a most unusual proceeding; and I inwardly resolved to make it easier
+for her than she meant to have it. She began with the air of an orator
+who reluctantly emerges from seclusion at his country's call,
+constrained to deliver matter of pith and moment.
+
+"It is no news that you all have shown me kindness such as passes all
+acknowledgment--"
+
+She was not allowed to proceed without hindrance. Jane put forth an
+interrupting hand, which the speaker seized and imprisoned in her own:
+not that Clarice's is bigger than Jane's, but it possesses some muscular
+force. Mabel opened her lips, and one of us--I will not say which--was
+obliged to remind her that Miss Elliston had the floor.
+
+"It is not in me to be demonstrative, and I have seemed cold and
+thankless--"
+
+"We knew you better than that, dear," came from both.
+
+"--But I knew, I felt it all. Never did a girl without natural
+protectors--"
+
+"But you can have a natural protector whenever you like," cried Mabel.
+"You might have had any number of them, for years past."
+
+"Well, with or without, no girl ever had, or could have had, more
+faithful affection and delicate consideration shown her than I. I have
+given you a great deal of trouble, and you never complained. I have come
+between you and friends--"
+
+"My dear," Mabel interposed again, "that is all right. Our friends will
+come back." And she nodded and looked like a female Solomon, while Jane
+whispered something and put her disengaged arm around the orator.
+
+"Don't interrupt me any more, please. You know it is not easy for me to
+talk of these matters--"
+
+"That is so," said I. "It is rarely we get a speech from Clarice on any
+subject. Do keep quiet, all of you, and let the poor girl go on."
+
+"But now I must tell you something you have no idea of."
+
+Here the female portion of the audience pricked up their ears, and I
+began to be nervous. "It is about Mr. Hartman's going away in August.
+That was all my fault."
+
+"Don't you believe her," said I. "He says it was all his fault."
+
+"Do be quiet, Robert. He is coming to-morrow, and justice must be done
+him. I treated him very badly, and--"
+
+"She didn't," said I. "Clarice, we don't want to be dragged into all
+your private squabbles, but if you will tell this disreputable story you
+have got to tell it straight. Jim says you merely showed a proper
+spirit, and so you did."
+
+"Why, what do you know about it, Robert?" cried Mabel and Jane together.
+
+"He was there, hidden in the bushes, like a villain in a cloak and
+slouched hat."
+
+Here came a chorus of exclamations and reproaches, till one of us had to
+say, "You may as well give it up, Clarice. These women will never let
+you go on; they don't know how to listen. If you were talking only to
+me, now--"
+
+"Jane, you can never twit him again with not being able to keep a
+secret; he kept this one sacredly for three months."
+
+"Of course he did," said Mabel: "I always knew it."
+
+"Why, Robert, you told me--," Clarice exclaimed, and "O no, you didn't,
+my dear," some one else put in, while Jane looked triumphant.
+
+"No, I didn't know this secret, of course," Mabel admitted: "I only
+meant that I always knew Robert could keep a secret, if it were of very
+extraordinary importance, and if he were certain it would ruin
+everything to let it out. Poor Robert, what a hard time you have had!"
+
+"But how did he come to overhear your conversation?" said Jane. "What
+business had he there?"
+
+"It was all through his pipe. Mabel, you must never object to his pipe
+again."
+
+"There now, Mabel," remarked another of the company, "you wouldn't
+believe that the pipe was good for my health, and now you see it has
+preserved the whole family."
+
+"I don't see that," said the troublesome Jane: "what was the use of your
+being there intermeddling?"
+
+"Jane," said one severely, "if you will be still, you will probably
+learn. How can you expect to hear anything when you keep on interrupting
+Clarice like this?"
+
+"I am coming to that now, Jane. What he thus saw and heard he most
+patiently, and heroically, and from the noblest motives--"
+
+"Excuse me, ladies," said I. "My pipe is not handy, but I must go out
+and smoke a cigar. I want to see a man--"
+
+"Let the man smoke the cigar, and that will provide for both of them.
+You will sit down, Robert, and hear me out; I am not to be overruled
+this time."
+
+"It would give me the greatest pleasure to hear you out, my dear, but
+you know your health is delicate, and you are not accustomed to public
+speaking. This is the longest oration you ever made: Jane's constant
+interruptions are trying, and you must be fatigued. If I were you, I
+would rest now, and finish this up to-morrow."
+
+"Now isn't that exactly like him?" cried the irrepressible Jane. "He is
+afraid of your exposures, as well he may be. Go on, Clarice, and tell us
+what other iniquities he has committed, besides deceiving Mabel and me
+about this, while he was questioning us all the time, and pretending to
+impart all he knew."
+
+"He deceived me too. Yes, you may well stare; he kept this absolutely to
+himself, till he could use it for his own deep purposes; and"--she
+blushed a little--"that is why things are as they are."
+
+I saw she wanted to be helped out, so I said.
+
+"Yes, that is the cause of this thusness. You see, Mabel, what great
+results may spring from a little pipe. Jane, you will have to admit
+that I am the guardian angel and protecting genius of you all."
+
+"Well, Clarice," said Jane, "I will own that my estimate of his talents
+has risen lately; but then my confidence in his moral character has
+fallen in the same degree. He does tell such dreadful falsehoods."
+
+"It is not quite as if he told them for love of them, simply for the
+pleasure he takes in falsehood itself. You must allow for his motives."
+
+"Yes," said Mabel, "his motives are always excellent, whatever his words
+and actions may be. You remember the man in the Bible, who was delivered
+to Satan for his soul's sake; and I have heard Robert himself say that
+in ascending a mountain you often have to go down hill."
+
+"She means," I explained, "that on the rare occasions when I employ
+fiction, I do it purely in the interests of Truth. That goddess is
+imperfectly provided with garments--excuse me for stating so scandalous
+a fact, but it is so. Now this might have been well enough in Eden
+before the fall, but it will not do now; so we have to make the poor
+creature presentable, and pay her milliner's bills, which are often
+high. It would have been far more congenial to my candid nature to tell
+you all at once what I saw and heard that day in August; but such a
+course might have been attended with unpleasant consequences. If you
+will all forgive me, I will try not to do it again."
+
+"I do not see my way to forgive you, brother," said Jane with a judicial
+air, "unless Clarice does; and that appears doubtful. I will be guided
+entirely by her."
+
+"I have managed my own affairs so well without help, that you will
+naturally all wish to be guided by me. It is a good deal for me to do;
+but since Robert's misconduct has done no great harm, and rather than
+come between brother and sister, I will--yes, I will forgive him." She
+rose majestically, signed to me to do the same, and gave me both hands,
+with the air of a sovereign conferring knighthood; we made an impressive
+tableau. "And since you are all so quiet at last, I may finish my
+speech, and state the reason for this act of leniency. As Mr. Hartman's
+conversion is to be completed this time without fail, it is plainly
+necessary that he should find us a united family."
+
+
+
+
+XXXIV.
+
+TO PERSONS ABOUT TO MARRY.
+
+
+I would have liked to celebrate Jim's arrival by sundry pleasant and
+appropriate remarks; but impressive warnings and entreaties had reached
+me privately from three distinct quarters, urging me to efface myself on
+this occasion, and keep in the background. I complied with these
+suggestions, and there were no tumultuous rejoicings over the returning
+prodigal. Mabel and Jane greeted him with unobtrusive warmth: Clarice
+was rather stately and very calm; to look at her, you would have thought
+this was an ordinary call. When they talk about my duplicity, they mean
+that they want a monopoly of the article themselves. The visitor flushed
+and trembled like a boy, till I felt sorry for him, and would have
+offered him something to drink if they had given me a chance. Women are
+so queer about such matters: instead of letting the poor man go off with
+me, they pretended not to notice his confusion, and talked about the
+weather and mountains and trout, as if he wanted to discuss such
+frivolities. This soon got to be a bore, and I went to the new
+smoking-room, inviting him to follow when he needed rational
+conversation. He did not come at all, and I found afterwards that my
+wife and sister had gone away presently, and left him alone with
+Clarice--and they such sticklers for Propriety.
+
+I expected to have some fun watching this tender pair; but I was
+disappointed. There never is anything sensational to see when the
+Princess is in action: she carries an atmosphere of quietness about with
+her, and imposes it on those who come within her circle. Hartman broke
+rules and bounds once last summer, but he seems unlikely to do it again.
+The rest of us kept out of the way as much we could, and gave them
+scope. I said to Jane that we ought to get up a torchlight procession,
+or a big dinner, or something, in Jim's honor, but she scornfully told
+me to wait at least till the engagement was announced. When he was with
+me--which was little, for his time seemed to be much occupied, and his
+weakness for tobacco nearly cured--he once or twice attempted some
+drivel about disinterested friendship and undying gratitude; but I
+stopped that. If there be one thing for which I profess no sympathy, it
+is puling sentiment. He apparently did not care to discuss the progress
+of his affair, which was a relief; it is a dreadful nuisance to have to
+listen to lovers' talk, and I had enough of that at Wayback, when I
+could not help myself. At our time of life a man ought to be occupied
+with serious pursuits. But Jim is as if he had been asleep in a cave for
+ten years, and waked up with his beard well grown and a large stock of
+emotional aptitudes abnormally developed. I suppose Clarice likes this
+kind of thing, but I wonder at her taste.
+
+They had been at it a week or so when I stumbled upon them unawares one
+day in the library. I tried to retreat, but they both called to me to
+stop.
+
+"Robert," said she, "we have quarrelled again. That is, he has."
+
+"Yes, Bob," said Jim, "and you'll have to straighten it out for us as
+you did before."
+
+"This is too much," said I. "You had better take the next train for
+home, and by next May my health will need another change and I'll come
+up and attend to your case."
+
+"This needs to be settled right away. Clarice wants to go to the woods
+and live there the year round, and I can't permit such a sacrifice."
+
+"Robert, he wants to live in the world like other people, just for my
+sake, and I can't permit such a sacrifice either."
+
+"You must both prepare to be sacrificed, my lambs. Each of you will have
+to bear and forbear, and get used to the other's repulsive selfishness
+and hidebound eccentricities, to forego the sweet privacy and freedom of
+self-indulgence which have marked your innocent lives hitherto. When the
+glamour of young romance has faded, when the bloom is rubbed off the
+peach and the juice is crushed out of the strawberry, there will remain
+only the hard reality of daily duty, which is continual self-immolation.
+You are wise to commence practising this virtue at once."
+
+"You must instruct us how to do it, Bob. It would be as you say, no
+doubt--with her--if she had to live at Wayback as she proposes. You have
+been there enough to know that it is no place for her; tell her so. She
+has confidence in you, and she won't believe me."
+
+"It would be as you say, Robert--with him--if he had to live among the
+constraints and shams which his soul abhors. You know it, and you have
+great influence over him. Tell him so."
+
+"You are both right, and it is clear there is no place where you can
+live--together. James, she is a fragile flower; transplanted to your
+sterile soil, she would soon wither and drop from the stalk. Clarice, he
+is fastidious, critical, and intense; made a part of the things he
+despises, the torturing contact with pomps and vanities would soon
+strike his knell. My little dears, your paths were never meant to
+unite, and the best thing you can do is to part in peace. James, this is
+all imagination, and you know it; a milliner's lay-figure, or that rural
+nymph at Wayback, would do just as well, and be much less exacting and
+expensive. Clarice, you are pushing philanthropy too far: the
+picturesqueness of this hermit, and his alleged romantic woes, have
+misled you as to the nature of your interest in him. I don't think
+matrimony would suit you at all: you had much better stay with us, whom
+you can leave whenever you please. You could not do that so easily with
+a husband, and you don't like divorce. My children, pause: you will soon
+have had enough of each other, and then you can go your several ways in
+peace."
+
+"See here, old man; it is too late for this kind of wisdom, after all
+the pains you have taken to bring us together when we were parted
+indeed. You ought to be proud of your work, and ready to give us your
+blessing."
+
+"Don't mind Robert, James. You must take him as you find him, and it
+encourages him to go on if you seem to pay attention. All you need is to
+give him time--generally a great deal of it, to be sure. When you have
+known him twenty years or so as I have, you will understand that he
+usually has some tolerably good sense at the bottom of his mind,
+underneath a mountain of foolishness; he would say it is like the beer
+after he has blown the froth off.--Get to the sense as soon as you can,
+dear, for we can't well wait more than a month or two for it: we have to
+make our plans."
+
+"I was going to say that you had better leave the engagement unlimited
+as to time and say nothing about it, for then you can get tired of one
+another at leisure, and part without embarrassment. But if you are in
+such indecent haste, and seriously bent on ruin, I will assist you over
+the precipice as gently as may be. You will have to compromise, and
+humor each other a little. Go abroad for awhile, or to Florida or the
+Pacific, till you feel less exclusive; then come back to us. The house
+is big enough, and you can make your winter home here: we can't let you
+have her on any other terms, Jim. You can enlarge your place when the
+weather opens, and put in the spring and fall there: some of us will
+come up, or I will anyway, after trout. Perhaps I'll bring Jane: she
+wanted to catch some. It would not be safe for Herbert; he is too fond
+of bears. If you find the whole summer there too much bliss, as you
+will, you can divide with us at Newport. That is fair to all parties,
+isn't it?"
+
+"It will do nicely, for a rough sketch at least, and give us time to
+think. But there is a more serious difficulty, as you will see. Robert,
+he wants to give up his well-considered principles of so many years, and
+just for me--however he may deny it. Now I say he was mainly right. Take
+Life in the large view, and it is not a grand or beautiful thing. Have
+we any right to overlook the misery of millions, because a few of us
+like each other and are outwardly comfortable? I will not have him do so
+weak a thing as change his standards from no better reason than--well,
+that you went up to him for the fall fishing."
+
+"My dear Clarice, if you set up as a Pessimist apostle, you will convert
+all the town, and that will never do.--You hear her, Jim? A wise man
+sometimes has to take his sentiments from a wiser woman. But seriously,
+I am ashamed of you. Having used your eyes and brains long ago and
+received a true impression, what right have you to cast it away, and be
+misled by a narrow prejudice in behalf of Life--or of some particular
+section of it? If he that loves a coral cheek and a ruby lip is but a
+redhot donkey, what shall we say of him who makes these his weatherguage
+to test the universe by?"
+
+"Well, Bob, perhaps I have received a new impression, which is truer
+than the other--and deeper. As you told me last summer, a world with
+Clarice in it is quite different from a world without her. Princess--if
+I may use his term--Bob thinks a good deal of you too; at least he used
+to. You entered into his scheme of things as well as mine. Such is his
+duplicity, perhaps you never suspected the fact."
+
+"That is strange, when he has taken such pains to get me off his hands.
+I could hardly believe it of you, Robert, on any less authority; it was
+an unworthy weakness, in such a philosopher. But really now, are you
+going to uphold him in this--against me?"
+
+"Far from it: you will make him think what you please--only your own
+opinion on this point, though so strongly held and stated, is somewhat
+recent. Let us have a middle ground to start from, on which all parties
+can meet, as in the other case. When things go to suit us, let us call
+it a good world: when they don't, of course it is a bad one. O, we can
+consider the suffering millions too; but then we ourselves are somebody,
+and have our own point of view. So when you two look at each other, and
+contemplate your own bliss, you will be optimists; and when you read the
+suicides in the papers, and think of the Siberian exiles and my labors
+in Water Street, it will be the other way. Why, I am often a pessimist
+in the morning, and the reverse at night. It depends on the impression
+you receive, as Jim says; and there are a good many impressions, and not
+all alike. Often you can be betwixt and between. Let us fix it that way:
+I am sure that ought to suit anybody."
+
+Jim agreed that it would do very well, but Clarice seemed undecided. "It
+seems so frivolous to look at Life in this easy way, just because
+we--well, are not unhappy, and not without friends. You never do
+yourself justice, Robert--or very rarely. If we have been favored
+beyond others, we ought to be earnest and serious."
+
+"My dear, Time will check your frivolity, and mitigate the morbid
+bitterness of Jim's gloomy contempt of life--or vice versa. If I have
+got you mixed up, I beg pardon: you have changed positions so, it
+confuses me. But as we are to be earnest and serious, we should seek to
+communicate our happiness to others. Hadn't I better call them in?"
+
+The lovers consented, and I called. Mabel and Jane came with eager
+smiles and effusive congratulations. It is curious, the stress which the
+feminine intellect lays on a mere point of time, or external event, like
+the celebration of a union between two young people, or the first
+statement that such a union is to be formed; whereas we all know that
+the real event is mental, or at most resides in the clash and
+concurrence of two minds, assisted by the bodies they inhabit. Our
+friends had probably come to a sufficient understanding the night of
+Jim's arrival, a week ago: in fact the thing was practically settled
+when I brought back his submission, and even he must have had sense
+enough to know it was when she wrote him that one word, 'Come.' So what
+on earth is the use of making a fuss about it now? But I will not press
+this view, which may be too rarefied and lofty for the vulgar mind.
+
+There were kisses, and laughter, and tears I believe--but not of the
+Princess' shedding--just as if something had really happened. I was
+sorry for Jim, he looked so sheepish. Then he, or Clarice, or both of
+them, to cover the awkwardness of the moment, began to extol my virtues
+and services--in which there was no sense at all; for suppose you have
+done a good thing, you don't want to be everlastingly cackling about it:
+the thing is done, let it stand on its own merits or demerits. To stop
+this, I proposed a division of the honors. "There is Herbert, who is
+unhappily in bed now: he set the ball rolling. He was the only one of
+us all who dared ask Clarice what she had done to you, Jim. And here is
+Clarice herself, who discovered that my health was failing and needed
+the air that blows over troutbrooks; give her a benefit. And here is
+Jane, who urged me on--drove me, I may say. But for her, I might never
+have had courage to beard you two dreadful people, and ask you what you
+meant by such conduct."
+
+Jane was receiving due attention, when Mabel spoke. "You must not
+overlook me, as if I had had no hand in it. I approved and encouraged it
+from the start: you know I did. And when you went away, Mr. Hartman, and
+they all felt so badly and thought you would never come back, I always
+said it would be right--always."
+
+THE END.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Pessimist, by Robert Timsol
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